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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/8095-8.txt b/8095-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..32beeca --- /dev/null +++ b/8095-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10703 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + +Title: Awful Disclosures + Containing, Also, Many Incidents Never before Published + +Author: Maria Monk + +Posting Date: September 22, 2014 [EBook #8095] +Release Date: May, 2005 +First Posted: June 14, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + + + + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: The original page scans used to create this text +were illegible in places; the notation [illegible] has been used in the +text to indicate these places. Additionally, Chapter XIV was missing +from both the table of contents and the book; presumably this is a +printing error as opposed to an actual missing chapter.] + + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES, + +By + +MARIA MONK, + +Of the + +HOTEL DIEU NUNNERY OF MONTREAL. + +Containing, also, Many Incidents Never Before Published. + + + + +PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +This volume embraces not only my "Awful Disclosures," but a +continuation of my Narrative, giving an account of events after my +escape from the Nunnery, and of my return to Montreal to procure a +legal investigation of my charges. It also [illegible] all the +testimony that has been published against me, or every description, as +well as that which has been given in confirmation of my story. At the +close, will be found a Review of the whole Subject, furnished by a +gentleman well qualified for the purpose; and finally, a copious +Appendix, giving further particulars interesting to the public. + +I present this volume to the reader, with feelings which, I trust, will +be in some degree appreciated when it has been read and reflected upon. +A hasty perusal, and an imperfect apprehension of its contents, can +never produce such impressions as it has been my design to make by the +statements I have laid before the world. I know that misapprehensions +exist in the minds of some virtuous people. I am not disposed to +condemn their motives, for it does not seem wonderful that in a pure +state of society, and in the midst of Christian families, there should +be persons who regard the crimes I have mentioned as too monstrous to +believed. It certainly is creditable to American manners and character, +that the people are inclined, at the first sight, to turn from my story +with horror. + +There is also an excuse for those who, having received only a general +impression concerning the nature of my Disclosures, question the +propriety of publishing such immorality to the world. They fear that +the minds of the young, at least, may be polluted. To such I have to +say, that this objection was examined and set aside, long before they +had an opportunity to make it. I solemnly believe it is necessary to +inform parents, at least, that the ruin from which I have barely +escaped, lies in the way of their children, even if delicacy must be in +some degree wounded by revealing the fact. I understand the case, alas! +from too bitter experience. Many an innocent girl may this year be +exposed to the dangers of which I was ignorant. I am resolved, that so +far as depends on me, not one more victim shall fall into the hands of +those enemies in whose power I so lately have been. I know what it is +to be under the dominion of Nuns and Priests; and I maintain, that it +is a far greater offence against virtue and decency to conceal than to +proclaim their crimes. Ah! had a single warning voice even whispered to +me a word of caution--had even a gentle note of alarm been sounded to +me, it might have turned back my foot from the Convent when it was upon +the threshold! If, therefore, there is any one now bending a step that +way, whom I have, not yet alarmed, I will cry _beware!_ + +But the virtuous reader need not fear, in the following pages, to meet +with vice presented in any dress but her own deformity. No one can +accuse me of giving a single attraction to crime. On the contrary, I +intend my book shall be a warning to those who may hereafter be tempted +by vice; and with the confidence that such it will prove to be, I +commend it to the careful examination of virtuous parents, and am +willing to abide by their unbiased opinion, with regard both to my +truth, my motives, and the interest which the public have in the +developments it contains. + +I would now appeal to the world, and ask, whether I have not done all +that could have been expected of me, and all that lay in my power, to +bring to an investigation the charges I have brought against the +priests and nuns of Canada. Although it was necessary to the cause of +truth, that I should, in some degree, implicate myself, I have not +hesitated to appear as a voluntary self-accuser before the world. While +there was a hope that the authorities in Canada might be prevailed upon +to bring the subject to a legal investigation, I travelled to Montreal +in a feeble state of health, and with an infant in my arms only three +weeks old. In the face of many threats and dangers, I spent nearly a +month in that city, in vain attempts to bring my cause to a trial. When +all prospect of success in this undertaking had disappeared, and not +till then, I determined to make my accusations through the press; and +although misrepresentations and scandals, flattery and threats, have +been resorted to, to nullify or to suppress my testimony, I have +persevered, although, as many of my friends have thought, at the risk +of abduction or death. + +I have, I think, afforded every opportunity that could be reasonably +expected, to judge of my credibility. I have appealed to the existence +of things in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, as the great criterion of the +truth of my story. I have described the apartments, and now, in this +volume, have added many further particulars, with such a description of +them as my memory has enabled me to make. I have offered, in case I +should be proved an impostor, to submit to any punishment which may be +proposed--even to a re-delivery into the hands of my bitterest enemies, +to suffer what they may please to inflict. + +Now, in these circumstances, I would ask the people of the United +States, whether my duty has not been discharged? Have I not done what I +ought--to inform and to alarm them? I would also solemnly appeal to the +Government of Great Britain, under whose guardianship is the province +oppressed by the gloomy institution from which I have escaped, and ask +whether such atrocities ought to be tolerated, and even protected by an +enlightened and Christian power? I trust the hour is near, when the +dens of the Hotel Dieu will be laid open--when the tyrants who have +polluted it will be brought out, with the wretched victims of their +oppression and crimes. + + + +CONTENTS + + * * * * * + +CHAPTER I. + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First School--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the +Nunneries in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black +Nunnery--The Grey Nunnery--Public Respect for these +Institutions--Instruction Received--The Catechism--The Bible + +CHAPTER II. + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery + +CHAPTER III. + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black +Nunnery--Entrance--Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which +they had Access--First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the +Superior--Her Reliques--The Holy Good Shepherd, or nameless +Nun--Confession of Novices + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. +Denis--Reliques--Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made +by some Novices--Ideas of the Bible + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosures--Resolution to Submit + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st +Floor--2d Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of +Novices--Religious Lies--Criminality of concealing Sins at Confession + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the +Cellar--Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's +Instructions--Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the +Nunnery--Opinions expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of +the Scriptures + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the +Convent--Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her +House--The Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane +Ray--Vaccillation of feelings + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports +made to friends of St. Francis + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in +it--Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick +Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of +her Tricks--Feigned Humility--Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made +by stratagem + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives--Jane Ray's +Hymns--The Superior's best Trick + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy +Retreat--Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract +Conscience--Ingenious Arguments + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in +Sleep--Amusements--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased +Nuns--Sudden disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new +one--Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with +other Nuns + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupations in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of War Candles--The Election +Riots--Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders +in the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for +it--Plan--Deliberation--Attempt--Success + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the +night--Disappointment--My first day out of the +Convent--Solitude--Recollections, fears, and plans + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to +land--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before +day--Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a +vagrant--Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it +to Mrs. McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New +York--Arrangements for going + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal +boat--Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to +rain--Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the +Bellevue Almshouse. + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the +priests--Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, +Burlington, St. Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at +Montreal--Reflections on passing the Nunnery. + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his +church--Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit +taken--Legal objection to it when taken + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections The truth of the +work demonstrated + +APPENDIX--Reception of the work--Affidavits--Criticisms of the press, +&c. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +Here is the reprint of one of the most formidable books against +Nunneries ever published. It has produced powerful impressions abroad, +as well as in the United States, and appears destined to have still +greater results. It is the simple narrative of an uneducated and +unprotected female, who escaped from the old Black Nunnery of Montreal, +or Hotel Dieu, and told her tale of sufferings and horrors, without +exaggeration or embellishment. Though assailed by all the powers of the +Romish priesthood, whom she accused, and by the united influence of the +North American press, which, with very small exceptions, was then +unenlightened by the discoveries of the present day, the book remains +unimpeached, and still challenges the test of fair and open examination. + +Many an American female, no doubt, is now living, who might justly +acknowledge that she was saved from exposure to the suffering, or even +the ruin, often the consequences of a Convent education, by the +disinterested warning given in this book; while its author, +disheartened at length by the powerful combination of Protestants and +Papists against her, led to distrust even the few who remained her +friends, destitute of the means of living, and alternately persecuted +and tempted by her ever watchful and insidious enemies, died some years +since, under condemnation (whether just or unjust) for one of the +slightest of the crimes which she had charged against them--thus +falling at last their victim. + +American parents have here a book written for the salvation of their +daughters; American patriots, one designed to secure society against +one of the most destructive but insidious institutions of popery; +American females, an appeal to them of the most solemn kind, to beware +of Convents, and all who attempt to inveigle our unsuspecting daughters +into them, by the secret apparatus of Jesuit schools. The author of +this book was a small, slender, uneducated, and persecuted young woman, +who sought refuge in our country without a protector; but she showed +the resolution and boldness of a heroine, in confronting her powerful +enemies in their strong hold, and proved, by the simple force of truth, +victorious in the violent conflicts which were waged against her by the +Romish hierarchy of America and the popular press of the United States. + +The publishers have thought the present an opportune period to place +this work again in the hands of American readers, with such +information, in a preface, as is necessary to acquaint readers of the +present day with the leading circumstances attending and succeeding its +original publication. They have examined most of the evidence +supporting the truth of the narrative, of which the public can judge as +well as themselves. The details would be voluminous, even of those +portions which have been collected since the heat of the controversy +which the book long ago excited. Suffice it to say, that undesigned and +collateral evidence in corroboration of it has been increasing to the +present day; and that the following brief review of some of the early +events will afford a fair specimen of the whole. + +In the year 1835, Maria Monk was found alone, and in a wretched and +feeble condition, on the outskirts of New York city, by a humane man, +who got her admitted into the hospital at Bellevue. She then first told +the story in outline, which she afterwards and uniformly repeated in +detail, and which was carefully written down and published in the +following form:--she said she was a fugitive nun from the Hotel Dieu of +Montreal, whence she had effected her escape, in consequence of cruelty +which she had suffered, and crimes which were there committed by the +Romish priests, who had the control of the institution, and to which +they had access, by private as well as public entrances. Having +expressed a willingness to go to that city, make public accusations, +and point out evidences of their truth in the convent itself, she was +taken thither by a resolute man, who afterwards suffered for an act of +great merit; but she was unable to obtain a fair hearing, apparently +through the secret opposition of the priests. She returned to New York, +where her story was thought worthy of publication; and it was proposed +to have it carefully written down from her lips, and published in a +small pamphlet. Everything she communicated was, therefore, accurately +written down, and, when copied out, read to her for correction. But the +amount of important material in her possession, proved to be far +greater than had been supposed, and many pages of notes were +accumulated on numerous topics brought up to her attention in the +course of conversation and inquiry. All those were submitted to persons +fully competent to decide as to the reliability of the evidence, and +the strictest and most conscientious care was taken to ascertain the +truth. + +There were but very few Protestants in the United States acquainted +with the condition or history of convents in different countries, the +characters of those who control and direct them, the motives they have +for keeping them secret, the occupations often pursued within their +walls, in short, the shameful practices and atrocious crimes of which +they have been proved to be the theatres, in modern and ancient times, +by Romish ecclesiastics and even popes themselves. The public were, +therefore, quite unprepared to believe such accusations against men +professing sanctity of life, and a divine commission to the world, +although Miss Harrison and Miss Reed of Boston had published startling +reports respecting the character of the priests and nuns in that +vicinity. + +The following were some of the considerations which were kept in view +by those who proposed the publication of the narrative:-- + +"If the story is false, it must have been forged by the narrator or +some other party. There must have been a motive in either case; and +that may be either to obtain notoriety or money, to injure the +reputation of the priests accused, or ultimately to remove the +unfavorable impressions thrown upon them by their former accusers, by +first making charges of atrocious crimes, and then disproving them. On +the other hand, the story may perhaps be true; and if so, the world +ought to know it. In the meantime, here is an unprotected, and +evidently unfortunate young woman, of an interesting appearance, who +asks to be allowed to make her complaint, voluntarily consenting to +submit to punishment if she does not speak the truth. _She must be +allowed a hearing._" + +It is but justice to say that the investigation was undertaken with +strong suspicions of imposture somewhere, and with a fixed resolution +to expose it if discovered. As the investigation proceeded, opinions at +first fluctuated, sometimes from day to day; but it became evident, ere +long, that if the story had been fabricated, it was not the work of the +narrator, as she had not the capacity to invent one so complex and +consistent with itself and with many historical facts entirely beyond +the limited scope of her knowledge. It was also soon perceived that she +could never have been taught it by others, as no part of it was +systematically arranged in her mind, and she communicated it in the +incidental manner common to uneducated persons, who recount past scenes +in successive conversations. + +As she declared from the first that she had been trained to habits of +deception in the Convent, and accustomed to witness deceit and +criminality, no confidence could be claimed for her mere unsupported +declarations; and therefore a course of thorough cross-questioning was +pursued, every effort being made to lead her to contradict herself, but +without success. She told the same things over and over again in a +natural and consistent manner, when brought back to the same point +after intervals of weeks or months. In several instances it was thought +that contradictions had been traced, but when called on to reconcile +her statements, she cleared up all doubt by easy and satisfactory +explanations. The course pursued by the priests of Canada and their +advocates, was such as greatly to confirm the opinion that she spoke +the truth, and that they were exceedingly afraid of it. The following +were some of the contradictory grounds which they at different times +assumed in their bitter attacks upon her, her friends, and her books: + +That she had never been in the nunnery. + +That she had been expelled from it. + +That she had fabricated everything that she published. + +That several pages from her book, published in the New York "Sun," were +copied verbatim et literatim from a work published in Portugal above a +hundred years before, entitled "The Gates of Hell Opened." + +That there never was a subterranean passage from the seminary to the +nunnery. + +That there was such a passage in that direction, but that it led to the +River St. Lawrence. + +That the drawings and descriptions of the nunnery, and especially of +the veiled department, were wholly unlike the reality, but applied to +the Magdalen Asylum of Montreal. + +That several objects described by her were in the nunnery, but not in +those parts of it where she had placed them. (This was said by a person +who admitted that he had been lost amidst the numerous and extensive +apartments when he made his observations.) + +That the book was fabricated by certain persons in New York who were +named, they being gentlemen of the highest character. + +That the book was her own production, but written under the instigation +of the devil. + +That the author was a layman, and ought to be hung on the first +lamp-post. + +That the nunnery was a sacred place, and ought not to be profaned by +the admission of enemies of the church. + +After a committee had been appointed to examine the nunnery and report, +and their demand for admission had been published a year or more, the +editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, a Montreal newspaper, devoted to the +priests' cause, offered to admit persons informally, and did admit +several Americans, who had been strong partisans against the +"Disclosures." Their letters on the subject, though very indefinite, +contained several important, though undesigned admissions, strongly +corroborating the book. + +One of the most common charges against the book was, that it had been +written merely for the purpose of obtaining money. Of the falseness of +this there is decisive evidence. It was intended to secure to the poor +and persecuted young female, any profits which might arise from the +publication; but most of the labor and time devoted to the work were +gratuitously bestowed. Besides this they devoted much time to efforts +necessary to guard against the numerous and insidious attempts made by +friends of the priests, who by various arts endeavored to produce +dissention and delay, as well as to pervert public opinion. + +The book was published, and had an almost unprecedented sale, +impressing deep convictions, wherever it went, by its simple and +consistent statements. In Canada, especially, it was extensively +received as true; but as the American newspapers were soon enlisted +against it, the country was filled with misrepresentations, which it +was impossible through those channels to follow with refutations. Her +noble sacrifices for the good of others were misunderstood, she +withdrew from her few remaining friends, and at length died in poverty +and prison, a victim of the priests of Rome. Various evidences in favor +of its truth afterwards appeared, with which the public have never been +generally made acquainted. Some of these were afforded during an +interview held in New York, August 17th, 1836, with Messrs. Jones and +Le Clerc, who had came from Montreal with a work in reply to "Awful +Disclosures," which was afterwards published. They had offered to +confront Maria Monk, and prove her an impostor, and make her confess it +in the presence of her friends. She promptly appeared; and the first +exclamation of Mr. Jones proved that she was not the person he had +supposed her to be: _"This is not Fawny Johnson!"_ said he; and he +afterwards said, "There must be two Maria Monks!" Indeed, several +persons were at different times represented to bear that name; and much +confusion was caused in the testimony by that artifice. The interview +continued about two hours, during which the Canadians made a very sorry +figure, entirely failing to gain any advantage, and exposing their own +weakness. At the close, an Episcopal clergyman from Canada, one of the +company, said: "Miss Monk, if I had had any doubts of your truth before +this interview, they would now have been entirely removed." + +The book of Mr. Jones was published, and consisted of affidavits, &c., +obtained in Canada, including those which had previously been +published, and which are contained in the Appendix to this volume. Many +of them were signed by names unknown, or those of low persons of no +credit, or devoted to the service of the priests. Evidence was +afterwards obtained that Mr. Jones was paid by the Canadian +ecclesiastics, of which there had been strong indications. What +rendered his defeat highly important was, that he was the editor of +_L'Ami du Peuple_, the priests' newspaper, in Montreal, and he was "the +author of everything which had been written there against Maria Monk," +and had collected all "the affidavits and testimony." These were his +own declarations. An accurate report of the interview was published, +and had its proper effect, especially his exclamation--"This is not +Fanny Johnson!" + +The exciting controversy has long passed, but the authentic records of +it are imperishable, and will ever be regarded as an instructive study. +The corruptions and crimes of nunneries, and the hypocrisy and +chicanery of those who control them, with the varied and powerful means +at their command, are there displayed to an attentive reader, in colors +as dark and appalling as other features of the popish system are among +us, by the recent exposures of the impudent arrogance of the murderer +Bedini, and the ambitious and miserly spirit of his particular friend, +the Romish Archbishop of New York. + +Among the recent corroborates of the "Awful Disclosures," may be +particularly mentioned the two narratives entitled "Coralla," and +"Confessions of a Sister of Charity," contained in the work issued this +season by the publishers of the present volume, viz.: "_The Escaped +Nun_; or, Disclosures of Convent Life," &c. Of the authenticity of +those two narratives we can give the public the strongest assurance. + +After the city of Rome had been taken by siege by the French army, in +1849, the priests claimed possession of a female orphan-asylum, which +had something of the nature of a nunnery. The republican government had +given liberty to all recluses, and opened all _secret institutions_. +(When will Americans do the same?) + +Subsequently, when the papists attempted to reinstate the old system, +the females remonstrated, barred the doors, and armed themselves with +knives and spits from the kitchen, but the French soldiers succeeded in +reducing them by force. During the contest the cry of the women was, +"We will not be the _wives_ of the priests!" + +In one of the convents in that city, opened by the republicans, were +found evidences of some of the worst crimes mentioned by Maria Monk; +and in another were multitudes of bones, including those of children. + +A strong effort will probably be made again, by the parties exposed by +this book, to avoid the condemnation which it throws upon convents--the +strongholds of superstition, corruption, and _foreign influence_, in +the United States. The Romish publications, although greatly reduced in +number within a few years, will probably pour out much of their +unexhausted virulence, as it is their vocation to misrepresent, deny, +and vilify. They will be ready to pronounce a general anathema on all +who dare to reprint, or even to read or believe, such strong +accusations against the "holy retreats" of those whom they pretend are +"devoted to lives of piety." But we will challenge them to do it again, +by placing some of their iron bishops and even popes in the forefront. + +In the year 1489, in the reign of Henry VII, Pope Innocent VIII +published a bull for the Reformation of Monasteries, entitled, in +Latin, "_De Reformatione Monasceriorum_," in which he says that, +"members of monasteries and other religious places, both Clemian, +Cistercian, and Praemonstratensian, and various other orders in the +Kingdom of England"--"lead a lascivious and truly dissolute life." And +that the papist reader may receive this declaration with due reverence, +we copy the preceding words in Latin, as written by an infallible pope, +the man whose worshippers address him as "Vicegerent of God on earth." +Of course his words must convince them, if ours do not: "Vitam lascivam +ducunt, et nimium dissolutam." "Swine Priory," in 1303, had a Prioress +named Josiana, whose conduct made the name of her house quite +appropriate. In France, in the Council of Troyes, A. D. 999, the +Archbishop said, "In convents of monks, canons, and nuns, we have lay +abbots residing with their wives, sons, daughters, soldiers and dogs;" +and he charges the whole clergy with being in a deprived and sinful +state. But the particulars now before us, of such shameful things in +Germany, Italy, &c., for ages, would fill a larger volume than this. + +Now, let the defenders of nunneries repeat, if they dare, their +hackneyed denunciations of those who deny their sanctity. Here stand +some of their own bishops and popes before us; and the anathemas must +fall first upon mitres and tiaras! Americans will know how much +confidence to place in the pretended purity of institutions, whose +iniquity and shame have been thus proclaimed, age after age, in a far +more extensive manner than by this book. But we can at any time shut +their mouths by the mere mention of "_Den's Theology_," which they must +not provoke us to refer to. + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS. + + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First Schools--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the +Nunneries in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black +Nunnery--The Grey Nunnery--Public Respect for these +Institutions--Instruction Received--The Catechism--The Bible. + +My parents were both from Scotland, but had been resident in Lower +Canada some time before their marriage, which took place in Montreal; +and in that city I spent most of my life. I was born at St. John's, +where they lived for a short time. My father was an officer under the +British Government, and my mother has enjoyed a pension on that account +ever since his death. [Footnote: See the affidavit of William Miller, +in the Appendix.] + +According to my earliest recollections, he was attentive to his family; +and a particular passage from the Bible, which often occurred to my +mind in after life, I may very probably have been taught by him, as +after his death I do not recollect to have received any religious +instruction at home; and was not even brought up to read the +scriptures: my mother, although nominally a Protestant, not being +accustomed to pay attention to her children in this respect. She was +rather inclined to think well of the Catholics, and often attended +their churches. To my want of religious instruction at home, and the +ignorance of my Creator, and my duty, which was its natural effect. I +think I can trace my introduction to Convents, and the scenes which I +am to describe in this narrative. + +When about six or seven years of age, I went to school to a Mr. +Workman, a Protestant, who taught in Sacrament street, and remained +several months. There I learned to read and write, and arithmetic as +far as division. All the progress I ever made in those branches was +gained in that school, as I have never improved in any of them since. + +A number of girls of my acquaintance went to school to the nuns of the +Congregational Nunnery, or Sisters of Charity, as they are sometimes +called. The schools taught by them are perhaps more numerous than some +of my readers may imagine. Nuns are sent out from that Convent to many +of the towns and villages of Canada to teach small schools; and some of +them are established as instructresses in different parts of the United +States. When I was about ten years old, my mother asked me one day if I +should not like to learn to read and write French; and I then began to +think seriously of attending the school in the Congregational Nunnery. +I had already some acquaintance with that language, sufficient to speak +it a little, as I heard it every day, and my mother knew something of +it. + +I have a distinct recollection of my first entrance into the Nunnery; +and the day was an important one in my life, as on it commenced my +acquaintance with a Convent. I was conducted by some of my young +friends along Notre Dame street till we reached the gate. Entering +that, we walked some distance along the side of a building towards the +chapel, until we reached a door, stopped, and rung a bell. This was +soon opened, and entering, we proceeded through a long covered passage +till we took a short turn to the left, soon after which we reached the +door of the school-room. On my entrance, the Superior met me, and told +me first of all that I must always dip my fingers into the holy water +at her door, cross myself, and say a short prayer; and this she told me +was always required of Protestant as well as Catholic children. + +There were about fifty girls in the school, and the nuns professed to +teach something of reading, writing, arithmetic, and geography. The +methods, however, were very imperfect, and little attention was devoted +to them, the time being in a great degree engrossed with lessons in +needle-work, which was performed with much skill. The nuns had no very +regular parts assigned them in the management of the schools. They were +rather rough and unpolished in their manners, often exclaiming, "c'est +un menti" (that's a lie), and "mon Dieu" (my God), on the most trivial +occasions. Their writing was quite poor, and it was not uncommon for +them to put a capital letter in the middle of a word. The only book on +geography which we studied, was a catechism of geography, from which we +learnt by heart a few questions and answers. We were sometimes referred +to a map, but it was only to point out Montreal or Quebec, or some +other prominent name, while we had no instruction beyond. + +It may be necessary for the information of some of my readers, to +mention that there are three distinct Convents in Montreal, all of +different kinds; that is, founded on different plans, and governed by +different rules. Their names are as follows:-- + +1st. The Congregational Nunnery. + +2d. The Black Nunnery, or Convent of Sister Bourgeoise. + +3d The Grey Nunnery. + +The first of these professes to be devoted entirely to the education of +girls. It would require however only a proper examination to prove +that, with the exception of needle-work, hardly anything is taught +excepting prayers and the catechism; the instruction in reading, +writing, &c., in fact, amounting to very little, and often to nothing. +This Convent is adjacent to that next to be spoken of, being separated +from it only by a wall. The second professes to be a charitable +institution for the care of the sick, and the supply of bread and +medicines for the poor; and something is done in these departments of +charity, although but an insignificant amount, compared with the size +of the buildings, and the number of the inmates. + +The Grey Nunnery, which is situated in a distant part of the city, is +also a large edifice, containing departments for the care of insane +persons and foundlings. With this, however, I have less personal +acquaintance than with either of the others. I have often seen two of +the Grey nuns, and know that their rules, as well as those of the +Congregational Nunnery, do not confine them always within their walls, +like those of the Black Nunnery. These two Convents have their common +names (Black and Grey) from the colours of the dresses worn by their +inmates. + +In all these three Convents, there are certain apartments into which +strangers can gain admittance, but others from which they are always +excluded. In all, large quantities of various ornaments are made by the +nuns, which are exposed for sale in the _Ornament_ Rooms, and afford +large pecuniary receipts every year, which contribute much to their +incomes. In these rooms visitors often purchase such things as please +them from some of the old [Footnote: The term "old nun," does not +always indicate superior age.] and confidential nuns who have the +charge of them. + +From all that appears to the public eye, the nuns of these Convents are +devoted to the charitable objects appropriate to each, the labour of +making different articles, known to be manufactured by them, and the +religious observances, which occupy a large portion of their time. They +are regarded with much respect by the people at large; and now and then +when a novice takes the veil, she is supposed to retire from the +temptations and troubles of this world into a state of holy seclusion, +where, by prayer, self-mortification, and good deeds, she prepares +herself for heaven. Sometimes the Superior of a Convent obtains the +character of working miracles; and when such a one dies, it is +published through the country, and crowds throng the Convent, who think +indulgences are to be derived from bits of her clothes or other things +she has possessed; and many have sent articles to be touched to her bed +or chair, in which a degree of virtue is thought to remain. I used to +participate in such ideas and feelings, and began by degrees to look +upon a nun as the happiest of women, and a Convent as the most +peaceful, holy, and delightful place of abode. It is true, some pains +were taken to impress such views upon me. Some of the priests of the +Seminary often visited the Congregation Nunnery, and both catechised +and talked with us on religion. The Superior of the Black Nunnery +adjoining, also, occasionally came into the School, enlarged on the +advantages we enjoyed in having such teachers, and dropped something +now and then relating to her own Convent, calculated to make us +entertain the highest ideas of it, and to make us sometimes think of +the possibility of getting into it. + +Among the instructions given us by the priests, some of the most +pointed were those directed against the Protestant Bible. They often +enlarged upon the evil tendency of that book, and told us that but for +it many a soul now condemned to hell, and suffering eternal punishment, +might have been in happiness. They could not say any thing in its +favour: for that would be speaking against religion and against God. +They warned us against it, and represented it as a thing very dangerous +to our souls. In confirmation of this, they would repeat some of the +answers taught us at catechism, a few of which I will here give. We had +little catechisms ("Le Petit Catechism") put into our hands to study; +but the priests soon began to teach us a new set of answers, which were +not to be found in our books, and from some of which I received new +ideas, and got, as I thought, important light on religious subjects, +which confirmed me more and more in my belief in the Roman Catholic +doctrines. These questions and answers I can still recall with +tolerable accuracy, and some of them I will add here. I never have read +them, as we were taught them only by word of mouth. + +_Question_. "Pourquoi le bon Dieu n'a pas fait tous les commandemens?" + +_Réponse_. "Parce que l'homme n'est pas si fort qu'il peut garder tous +ses commandemens." + +_Q_. "Why did not God make all the commandments?" + +_A_. "Because man is not strong enough to keep them." + +And another. _Q_. "Pourquoi l'homme ne lit pas l'Evangile?" + +_R_. "Parce que l'esprit de l'homme est trop borné et trop faîble pour +comprendre qu'est ce que Dieu a écrit." + +_Q_. "Why are men not to read the New Testament?" + +_A_. "Because the mind of man is too limited and weak to understand +what God has written." + +These questions and answers are not to be found in the common +catechisms in use in Montreal and other places where I have been, but +all the children in the Congregational Nunnery were taught them, and +many more not found in these books. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CONGREGATIONAL NUNNERY. + + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery. + +There was a girl thirteen years old whom I knew in the School, who +resided in the neighborhood of my mother, and with whom I had been +familiar. She told me one day at school of the conduct of a priest with +her at confession, at which I was astonished. It was of so criminal and +shameful a nature, I could hardly believe it, and yet I had so much +confidence that she spoke the truth, that I could not discredit it. + +She was partly persuaded by the priest to believe that he could not +sin, because he was a priest, and that anything he did to her would +sanctify her; and yet she seemed doubtful how she should act. A priest, +she had been told by him, is a holy man, and appointed to a holy +office, and therefore what would be wicked in other men, could not be +so in him. She told me that she had informed her mother of it, who +expressed no anger nor disapprobation, but only enjoined it upon her +not to speak of it; and remarked to her, that as priests were not like +other men, but holy, and sent to instruct and save us, whatever they +did was right. + +I afterward confessed to the priest that I had heard the story, and had +a penance to perform for indulging a sinful curiosity in making +inquiries; and the girl had another for communicating it. I afterward +learned that other children had been treated in the same manner, and +also of similar proceedings in other places. + +Indeed, it was not long before such language was used to me, and I well +remember how my views of right and wrong were shaken by it. Another +girl at the School, from a place above Montreal, called the Lac, told +me the following story of what had occurred recently in that vicinity. +A young squaw, called la Belle Marie,(pretty Mary,) had been seen going +to confession at the house of the priest, who lived a little out of the +village. La Belle Marie was afterwards missed, and her murdered body +was found in the river. A knife was also found covered with blood, +bearing the priest's name. Great indignation was excited among the +Indians, and the priest immediately absconded, and was never heard from +again. A note was found on his table addressed to him, telling him to +fly if he was guilty. + +It was supposed that the priest was fearful that his conduct might be +betrayed by this young female; and he undertook to clear himself by +killing her. + +These stories struck me with surprise at first, but I gradually began +to feel differently, even supposing them true, and to look upon the +priests as men incapable of sin; besides, when I first went to +confession, which I did to Father Richards, in the old French church +(since taken down), I heard nothing improper; and it was not until I +had been several times, that the priests became more and more bold, and +were at length indecent in their questions and even in their conduct +when I confessed to them in the Sacristie. This subject I believe is +not understood nor suspected among Protestants; and it is not my +intention to speak of it very particularly, because it is impossible to +do so without saying things both shameful and demoralizing. + +I will only say here, that when quite a child, I had from the mouths of +the priests at confession what I cannot repeat, with treatment +corresponding; and several females in Canada have recently assured me, +that they have repeatedly, and indeed regularly, been required to +answer the same and other like questions, many of which present to the +mind deeds which the most iniquitous and corrupt heart could hardly +invent. + +There was a frequent change of teachers in the School of the Nunnery; +and no regular system was pursued in our instruction. There were many +nuns who came and went while I was there, being frequently called in +and out without any perceptible reason. They supply school teachers to +many of the country towns, usually two for each of the towns with which +I was acquainted, besides sending Sisters of Charity to different parts +of the United States. Among those whom I saw most, was Saint Patrick, +an old woman for a nun (that is, about forty), very ignorant, and gross +in her manners, with quite a beard on her face, and very cross and +disagreeable. She was sometimes our teacher in sewing, and was +appointed to keep order among us. We were allowed to enter only a few +of the rooms in the Congregational Nunnery, although it was not +considered one of the secluded Convents. + +In the Black Nunnery, which is very near the Congregational, is an +hospital for sick people from the city; and sometimes some of our +boarders, such as are indisposed, were sent there to be cured. I was +once taken ill myself and sent there, where I remained a few days. + +There were beds enough for a considerable number more. A physician +attended it daily; and there are a number of the veiled nuns of that +Convent who spend most of their time there. + +These would also sometimes read lectures and repeat prayers to us. + +After I had been in the Congregational Nunnery about two years, I left +it,[Footnote: See the 2d affidavit.] and attended several different +schools for a short time; but I soon became dissatisfied, having many +and severe trials to endure at home, which my feelings will not allow +me to describe; and as my Catholic acquaintances had often spoken to me +in favour of their faith, I was inclined to believe it true, although, +as I before said, I knew little of any religion. While out of the +nunnery, I saw nothing of religion. If I had, I believe I should never +have thought of becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +BLACK NUNNERY. + + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black +Nunnery--Entrance--Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which +they had Access--First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the +Superior--Her Reliques--The Holy Good Shepherd or nameless +Nun--Confession of Novices. + +At length I determined to become a Black nun, and called upon one of +the oldest priests in the Seminary, to whom I made known my intention. + +The old priest to whom I applied was Father Rocque. He is still alive. +He was at that time the oldest priest in the Seminary, and carried the +Bon Dieu, (Good God,) as the sacramental wafer is called. When going to +administer it in any country place, he used to ride with a man before +him, who rang a bell as a signal. When the Canadians heard it, whose +habitations he passed, they would come and prostrate themselves to the +earth, worshipping it as God. He was a man of great age, and wore large +curls, so that he somewhat resembled his predecessor, Father Roue. He +was at that time at the head of the Seminary. This institution is a +large edifice, situated near the Congregational and Black Nunneries, +being on the east side of Notre Dame street. It is the general +rendezvous and centre of all the priests in the District of Montreal, +and, I have been told, supplies all the country with priests as far +down as Three Rivers, which place, I believe, is under the charge of +the Seminary of Quebec. About one hundred and fifty priests are +connected with that of Montreal, as every small place has one priest, +and a number of larger ones have two. + +Father Rocque promised to converse with the Superior of the Convent, +and proposed my calling again, at the end of two weeks, at which time I +visited the Seminary again, and was introduced by him to the Superior +of the Black Nunnery. She told me she must make some inquiries, before +she could give me a decided answer; and proposed to me to take up my +abode a few days at the house of a French family in St. Lawrence +suburbs, a distant part of the city. Here I remained about a fortnight; +during which time I formed some acquaintance with the family, +particularly with the mistress of the house, who was a devoted Papist, +and had a high respect for the Superior, with whom she stood on good +terms. + +At length, on Saturday morning about ten o'clock, I called and was +admitted into the Black Nunnery, as a novice, much to my satisfaction, +for I had a high idea of a life in a Convent, secluded, as I supposed +the inmates to be, from the world and all its evil influences, and +assured of everlasting happiness in heaven. The Superior received me, +and conducted me into a large room, where the novices, (who are called +in French Postulantes,) were assembled, and engaged in their customary +occupation of sewing. + +Here were about forty of them, and they were collected in groups in +different parts of the room, chiefly near the windows; but in each +group was found one of the veiled nuns of the Convent, whose abode was +in the interior apartments, to which no novice was to be admitted. As +we entered, the Superior informed the assembly that a new novice had +come, and she desired any present who might have known me in the world +to signify it. + +Two Miss Fougnées, and a Miss Howard, from Vermont, who had been my +fellow-pupils in the Congregational Nunnery, immediately recognised me. +I was then placed in one of the groups, at a distance from them, and +furnished by a nun called Sainte Clotilde, with materials to make a +kind of purse, such as the priests use to carry the consecrated wafer +in, when they go to administer the sacrament to the sick. I well +remember my feelings at that time, sitting among a number of strangers, +and expecting with painful anxiety the arrival of the dinner hour. +Then, as I knew, ceremonies were to be performed, for which I was but +ill prepared, as I had not yet heard the rules by which I was to be +governed, and knew nothing of the forms to be repeated in the daily +exercises, except the creed in Latin, and that imperfectly. This was +during the time of recreation, as it is called. The only recreation +there allowed, however, is that of the mind, and of this there is but +little. We were kept at work, and permitted to speak with each other +only on such subjects as related to the Convent, and all in the hearing +of the old nuns who sat by us. We proceeded to dinner in couples, and +ate in silence while a lecture was read. + +The novices had access to only eight of the apartments of the Convent; +and whatever else we wished to know, we could only conjecture. The +sleeping room was in the second story, at the end of the western wing. +The beds were placed in rows, without curtains or anything else to +obstruct the view; and in one corner was a small room partitioned off, +in which was the bed of the night-watch, that is, the old nun that was +appointed to oversee us for the night. In each side of the partition +were two holes, through which she could look out upon us whenever she +pleased. Her bed was a little raised above the level of the others. +There was a lamp hung in the middle of our chamber which showed every +thing to her distinctly; and as she had no light in her little room, we +never could perceive whether she was awake or asleep. As we knew that +the slightest deviation from the rules would expose us to her +observation, as well as to that of our companions, in whom it was a +virtue to betray one another's faults, as well as to confess our own, I +felt myself under a continual exposure to suffer what I disliked, and +had my mind occupied in thinking of what I was to do next, and what I +must avoid. + +I soon learned the rules and ceremonies we had to regard, which were +many; and we had to be very particular in their observance. We were +employed in different kinds of work while I was a novice. The most +beautiful specimen of the nuns' manufacture which I saw was a rich +carpet made of fine worsted, which had been begun before my +acquaintance with the Convent, and was finished while I was there. This +was sent as a present to the King of England, as an expression of +gratitude for the money annually received from the government. It was +about forty yards in length, and very handsome. We were ignorant of the +amount of money thus received. The Convent of Grey Nuns has also +received funds from the government, though on some account or other, +had not for several years. + +I was sitting by a window at one time, with a girl named Jane M'Coy, +when one of the old nuns cams up and spoke to us in a tone of +liveliness and kindness which seemed strange, in a place where +everything seemed so cold and reserved. Some remark which she made was +evidently intended to cheer and encourage me, and made me think that +she felt some interest in me. I do not recollect what she said, but I +remember it gave me pleasure. I also remember that her manner struck me +singularly. She was rather old for a nun, that is, probably thirty; her +figure large, her face wrinkled, and her dress careless. She seemed +also to be under less restraint than the others, and this, I afterward +found, was the case. She sometimes even set the rules at defiance. She +would speak aloud when silence was required, and sometimes walk about +when she ought to have kept her place: she would even say and do things +on purpose to make us laugh; and although often blamed for her conduct, +had her offences frequently passed over, when others would have been +punished with penances. + +I learnt that this woman had always been singular. She never would +consent to take a saint's name on receiving the veil, and had always +been known by her own, which was Jane Ray. Her irregularities were +found to be numerous, and penances were of so little use in governing +her, that she was pitied by some, who thought her partially insane. She +was, therefore, commonly spoken of as mad Jane Ray; and when she +committed a fault, it was often apologized for by the Superior or other +nuns, on the ground that she did not know what she did. + +The occupations of a novice in the Black Nunnery are not such as some +of my readers may suppose. They are not employed in studying the higher +branches of education; they are not offered any advantages for storing +their mind, or polishing their manners; they are not taught even +reading, writing, or arithmetic; much less any of the more advanced +branches of knowledge. My time was chiefly employed, at first, in work +and prayers. It is true, during the last year I studied a great deal, +and was required to work but very little; but it was the study of +prayers in French and Latin, which I had merely to commit to memory, to +prepare for the easy repetition of them on my reception, and after I +should be admitted as a nun. + +Among the wonderful events which had happened in the Convent, that of +the sudden conversion of a gay young lady of the city into a nun, +appeared to me one of the most remarkable. The story which I first +heard, while a novice, made a deep impression upon my mind. It was +nearly as follows: + +The daughter of a wealthy citizen of Montreal was passing the church of +Bon Secours, one evening, on her way to a ball, when she was suddenly +thrown down upon the steps or near the door, and received a severe +shock. She was taken up, and removed first, I think, into the church, +but soon into the Black Nunnery, which she soon determined to join as a +nun; instead, however, of being required to pass through a long +novitiate (which usually occupies about two years and a-half, and is +abridged only where the character is peculiarly exemplary and devout), +she was permitted to take the veil without delay; being declared by God +to a priest to be in a state of sanctity. The meaning of this +expression is, that she was a real saint, and already in a great +measure raised above the world and its influences, and incapable of +sinning, possessing the power of intercession, and being a proper +object to be addressed in prayer. This remarkable individual, I was +further informed, was still in the Convent, though I never was allowed +to see her; she did not mingle with the other nuns, either at work, +worship, or meals; for she had no need of food, and not only her soul, +but her body, was in heaven a great part of her time. What added, if +possible, to the reverence and mysterious awe with which I thought of +her, was the fact I learned, that she had no name. The titles used in +speaking of her were, the holy saint, reverend mother, or saint bon +pasteur (the holy good shepherd). + +It is wonderful that we could have carried our reverence for the +Superior as far as we did, although it was the direct tendency of many +instructions and regulations, indeed of the whole system, to permit, +even to foster a superstitious regard for her. + +One of us was occasionally called into her room, to cut her nails or +dress her hair; and we would often collect the clippings, and +distribute them to each other, or preserve them with the utmost care. I +once picked up all the stray hairs I could find, after combing her +head, bound them together, and kept them for some time, until she told +me I was not worthy to possess things so sacred. Jane McCoy and I were +once sent to alter a dress for the Superior. I gathered up all the bits +of thread, made a little bag, and put them into it for safe +preservation. This I wore a long time around my neck, so long, indeed, +that I wore out a number of strings, which, I remember, I replace with +new ones. I believed it to possess the power of removing pain, and +often prayed to it to cure the tooth-ache, &c. Jane Ray sometimes +professed to outgo us all in devotion to the Superior, and would pick +up the feathers after making her bed. These she would distributed among +us, saying, "When the Superior dies, reliques will begin to grow +scarce, and you had better supply yourselves in season." Then she would +treat the whole matter in some way to turn it into ridicule. Equally +contradictory would she appear, when occasionally she would obtain +leave from the Superior to tell her dreams. With a serious face, which +sometimes imposed upon all of us, and made us half believe she was in a +perfect state of sanctity, she would narrate in French some +unaccountable vision which she said she had enjoyed. Then turning +round, would say, "There are some who do not understand me; you all +ought to be informed." And then she would say something totally +different in English, which put us to the greatest agony for fear of +laughing. Sometimes she would say that she expected to be Superior +herself, one of these days, and other things which I have not room to +repeat. + +While I was in the Congregational Nunnery, I had gone to the parish +church whenever I was to confess; for although the nuns had a private +confession-room in the building, the boarders were taken in parties +through the streets on different days by some of the nuns, to confess +in the church; but in the Black Nunnery, as we had a chapel and priests +attending in the confessionals, we never left the building. + +Our confessions there as novices, were always performed in one way, so +that it may be sufficient to describe a single case. Those of us who +were to confess at a particular time, took our places on our knees near +the confessional-box, and after having repeated a number of prayers, +&c., prescribed in our books, came up one at a time and kneeled beside +a fine wooden lattice-work, which entirely separated the confessor from +us, yet permitted us to place our faces almost to his ear, and nearly +concealed his countenance from view, even when so near. I recollect how +the priests used to recline their heads on one side, and often covered +their faces with their handkerchiefs, while they heard me confess my +sins, and put questions to me, which were often of the most improper +and even revolting nature, naming crimes both unthought of and inhuman. +Still, strange as it may seem, I was persuaded to believe that all this +was their duty, or at least that it was done without sin. + +Veiled nuns would often appear in the chapel at confession; though, as +I understood, they generally confessed in private. Of the plan of their +confession-rooms I had no information; but I supposed the ceremony to +be conducted much on the same plan as in the chapel and in the church, +viz. with a lattice interposed between the confessor and the confessing. + +Punishments were sometimes resorted to, while I was a novice, though +but seldom. The first time I ever saw a gag, was one day when a young +novice had done something to offend the Superior. This girl I always +had compassion for; because she was very young, and an orphan. The +Superior sent for a gag, and expressed her regret at being compelled, +by the bad conduct of the child, to proceed to such a punishment; after +which she put it into her mouth, so far as to keep it open, and then +let it remain some time before she took it out. There was a leathern +strap fastened to each end, and buckled to the back part of the head. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. +Denis--Reliques--Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made +by some Novices--Ideas of the Bible. + + +After I had been in the nunneries four or five years, from the time I +commenced school at the Congregational Convent, one day I was treated +by one of the nuns in a manner which displeased me, and because I +expressed some resentment, was required to beg her pardon. Not being +satisfied with this, although I complied with the command, nor with the +coolness with which the Superior treated me, I determined to quit the +Convent at once, which I did without asking leave. There would have +been no obstacle to my departure, I presume, novice as I then was, if I +had asked permission; but I was too much displeased to wait for that, +and went home without speaking to any one on the subject. + +I soon after visited the town of St. Denis, where I saw two young +ladies with whom I had formerly been acquainted in Montreal, and one of +them a former schoolmate at Mr. Workman's school. After some +conversation with me, and learning that I had known a lady who kept +school in the place, they advised me to apply to her to be employed as +her assistant teacher; for she was then instructing the government +school in that place. I visited her, and found her willing, and I +engaged at once as her assistant. + +The government society paid her 20_l_: a-year: she was obliged to teach +ten children gratuitously; might receive fifteen pence a month (about a +quarter of a dollar), for each of ten scholars more; and then she was +at liberty, according to the regulations, to demand as much as she +pleased for the other pupils. The course of instruction, as required by +the society, embraced only reading, writing, and what was called +ciphering, though I think improperly. The only books used were a +spelling-book, l'Instruction de la Jeunesse, the Catholic New +Testament, and l'Histoire de Canada. When these had been read through, +in regular succession, the children were dismissed as having completed +their education. No difficulty is found in making the common French +Canadians content with such an amount of instruction as this; on the +contrary, it is often very hard indeed to prevail upon them to send +their children at all, for they say it takes too much of the love of +God from them to sent them to school. The teacher strictly complied +with the requisitions of the society in whose employment she was, and +the Roman Catholic catechism was regularly taught in the school, as +much from choice as from submission to authority, as she was a strict +Catholic. I had brought with me the little bag I have before mentioned, +in which I had so long kept the clippings of the thread left after +making a dress for the Superior. Such was my regard for it, that I +continued to wear it constantly round my neck, and to feel the same +reverence for its supposed virtues as before. I occasionally had the +toothache during my stay at St. Denis, and then always relied on the +influence of my little bag. On such occasions I would say-- + +"By the virtue of this bag, may I be delivered from the toothache;" and +I supposed that when it ceased, it was owing to that cause. + +While engaged in this manner, I became acquainted with a man who soon +proposed marriage; and young and ignorant of the world as I was, I +heard his offers with favour. On consulting with my friend, she +expressed an interest for me, advised me against taking such a step, +and especially as I knew little about the man, except that a report was +circulated unfavorable to his character. Unfortunately, I was not wise +enough to listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I +had occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the report proved +true--a report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our +separation. After I had been in St. Denis about three months, finding +myself thus situated, and not knowing what else to do, I determined to +return to the Convent, and pursue my former intention of becoming a +Black nun, could I gain admittance. Knowing the many inquiries that the +Superior would make relative to me, during my absence before leaving +St. Denis, I agreed with the lady with whom I had been associated as a +teacher (when she went to Montreal, which she did very frequently), to +say to the Lady Superior that I had been under her protection during my +absence, which would satisfy her, and stop further inquiry; as I was +sensible, that, should they know I had been married, I should not gain +admittance. + +I soon returned to Montreal, and on reaching the city, I visited the +Seminary, and in another interview with the Superior of it, +communicated my wish, and desired him to procure my re-admission as a +novice. Little delay occurred. + +After leaving me for a short time, he returned, and told me that the +Superior of the Convent had consented, and I was soon introduced into +her presence. She blamed me for my conduct in leaving the nunnery, but +told me that I ought to be ever grateful to my guardian angel for +taking care of me, and bringing me in safety back to that retreat. I +requested that I might be secured against the reproaches and ridicule +of all the novices and nuns, which I thought some might be disposed to +cast upon me unless prohibited by the Superior; and this she promised +me. The money usually required for the admission of novices had not +been expected from me. I had been admitted the first time without any +such requisition; but now I chose to pay it for my re-admission. I knew +that she was able to dispense with such a demand as well in this as the +former case, and she knew that I was not in possession of any thing +like the sum required. + +But I was bent on paying to the Nunnery, and accustomed to receive the +doctrine often repeated to me before that time, that when the advantage +of the church was consulted, the steps taken were justifiable, let them +be what they would, I therefore resolved to obtain money on false +pretences, confident that if all were known, I should be far from +displeasing the Superior. I went to the brigade major, and asked him to +give me the money payable to my mother from her pension, which amounted +to about thirty dollars, and without questioning my authority to +receive it in her name, he gave it me. + +From several of her friends I obtained small sums under the name of +loans, so that altogether I had soon raised a number of pounds, with +which I hastened to the nunnery, and deposited a part in the hands of +the Superior. She received the money with evident satisfaction, though +she must have known that I could not have obtained it honestly; and I +was at once re-admitted as a novice. + +Much to my gratification, not a word fell from the lips of any of my +old associates in relation to my unceremonious departure, nor my +voluntary return. The Superior's orders, I had not a doubt, had been +explicitly laid down, and they certainly were carefully obeyed, for I +never heard an allusion made to that subject during my subsequent stay +in the Convent, except that, when alone, the Superior would herself +sometimes say a little about it. + +There were numbers of young ladies who entered awhile as novices, and +became weary or disgusted with some things they observed, and remained +but a short time. One of my cousins, who lived at Lachine, named Reed, +spent about a fortnight in the Convent with me. She, however, conceived +such an antipathy against the priests, that she used expressions which +offended the Superior. + +The first day she attended mass, while at dinner with us in full +community, she said before us all: "What a rascal that priest was, to +preach against his best friend!" + +All stared at such an unusual exclamation, and some one inquired what +she meant. + +"I say," she continued, "he has been preaching against him who gives +him his bread. Do you suppose that if there were no devil, there would +be any priests?" + +This bold young novice was immediately dismissed: and in the afternoon +we had a long sermon from the Superior on the subject. + +It happened that I one day got a leaf of an English Bible, which had +been brought into the Convent, wrapped round some sewing silk, +purchased at a store in the city. For some reason or other, I +determined to commit to memory a chapter it contained, which I soon +did. It is the only chapter I ever learnt in the Bible, and I can now +repeat it. It is the second of St. Matthew's gospel, "Now when Jesus +was born in Bethlehem of Judea," &c. + +It happened that I was observed reading the paper, and when the nature +of it was discovered, I was condemned to do penance for my offence. + +Great dislike to the Bible was shown by those who conversed with me +about it, and several have remarked to me, at different times, that if +it were not for that book, Catholics would never be led to renounce +their own faith. + +I heard passages read from the Evangile, relating to the death of +Christ; the conversion of Paul; a few chapters from St. Matthew, and +perhaps a few others. The priest would also sometimes take a verse or +two, and preach from it. I read St. Peter's Life, but only in the book +called the "Lives of the Saints." He, I understand, has the keys of +heaven and hell, and has founded our church. As for St. Paul, I +remember, as I was taught to understand it, that he was once a great +persecutor of the Roman _Catholics_, until he became convicted, and +confessed to one of the _father confessors_, I don't know which. For +who can expect to be forgiven who does not become a Catholic, and +confess? + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject. + + +The day on which I received confirmation was a distressing one to me. I +believed the doctrine of the Roman Catholics, and according to them I +was guilty of three mortal sins; concealing something at confession, +sacrilege, in putting the body of Christ in the sacrament under my +feet, and receiving it while not in a state of grace; and now, I had +been led into all those sins in consequence of my marriage, which I +never had acknowledged, as it would cut me off from being admitted as a +nun. + +On the day, therefore, when I went to the church to be confirmed, with +a number of others, I suffered extremely from the reproaches of my +conscience. I knew, at least I believed, as I had been told, that a +person who had been anointed with the holy oil of confirmation on the +forehead, and dying in the state in which I was, would go down to hell, +and in the place where the oil had been rubbed, the names of my sins +would blaze out on my forehead; these would be a sign by which the +devils would know me; and they would torment me the worse for them. I +was thinking of all this, while I sat in the pew, waiting to receive +the oil. I felt, however, some consolation, as I often did afterward +when my sins came to mind; and this consolation I derived from another +doctrine of the same church: viz. that a bishop could absolve me from +all these sins any minute before my death; and I intended to confess +them all to a bishop before leaving the world. At length, the moment +for administering the "sacrament" arrived, and a bell was rung. Those +who had come to be confirmed had brought tickets from their confessors, +and these were thrown into a hat, carried around by a priest who in +turn handed each to the bishop, by which he learnt the name of each of +us, and applied a little of the oil to our foreheads. This was +immediately rubbed off by a priest with a bit of cloth, quite roughly. + +I went home with some qualms of conscience, and often thought with +dread of the following tale, which I have heard told to illustrate the +sinfulness of conduct like mine. + +A priest was once travelling, when, just as he was passing by a house, +his horse fell on his knees, and would not rise. His rider dismounted, +and went in to learn the cause of so extraordinary an occurrence. He +found there a woman near death, to whom a priest was trying to +administer the sacrament, but without success; for every time she +attempted to swallow it, it was thrown back out of her mouth into the +chalice. He perceived it was owing to unconfessed sin, and took away +the holy wafer from her: on which his horse rose from his knees, and he +pursued his journey. + +I often remembered also that I had been told, that we shall have as +many devils biting us, if we go to hell, as we have unconfessed sins on +our consciences. + +I was required to devote myself for about a year, to the study of the +prayers and the practice of the ceremonies necessary on the reception +of a nun. This I found a very tedious duty; but as I was released in a +great degree from the daily labors usually demanded of novices, I felt +little disposition to complain. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosure--Resolution to Submit. + + +I was introduced into the Superior's room on the evening preceding the +day on which I was to take the veil, to have an interview with the +Bishop. The Superior was present, and the interview lasted about half +an hour. The Bishop on this as on other occasions appeared to me +habitually rough in his manners. His address was by no means +prepossessing. + +Before I took the veil, I was ornamented for the ceremony, and was +clothed in a rich dress belonging to the Convent, which was used on +such occasions; and placed not far from the altar in the chapel, in the +view of a number of spectators who had assembled, perhaps about forty. +Taking the veil is an affair which occurs so frequently in Montreal, +that it has long ceased to be regarded as a novelty; and, although +notice had been given in the French parish church as usual, only a +small audience had assembled, as I have mentioned. + +Being well prepared with a long training, and frequent rehearsals, for +what I was to perform, I stood waiting in my large flowing dress for +the appearance of the Bishop. He soon presented himself, entering by +the door behind the altar; I then threw myself at his feet, and asked +him to confer upon me the veil. He expressed his consent, and threw it +over my head, saying, "Receive the veil, O thou spouse of Jesus +Christ;" and then turning to the Superior, I threw myself prostrate at +her feet, according to my instructions, repeating what I had before +done at rehearsals, and made a movement as if to kiss her feet. This +she prevented, or appeared to prevent, catching me by a sudden motion +of her hand, and granted my request. I then kneeled before the Holy +Sacrament, that is, a very large round wafer held by the Bishop between +his fore-finger and thumb, and made my vows. + +This wafer I had been taught to regard with the utmost veneration, as +the real body of Jesus Christ, the presence of which made the vows +uttered before it binding in the most solemn manner. + +After taking the vows, I proceeded to a small apartment behind the +altar, accompanied by four nuns, where was a coffin prepared with my +nun name engraven upon it: + +"SAINT EUSTACE." + +My companions lifted it by four handles attached to it, while I threw +off my dress, and put on that of a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise; and then we +all returned to the chapel. I proceeded first, and was followed by the +four nuns; the Bishop naming a number of worldly pleasures in rapid +succession, in reply to which I as rapidly repeated--"Je renonce, je +renonce, je renonce"--[I renounce, I renounce, I renounce.] + +The coffin was then placed in front of the altar, and I advanced to lay +myself in it. This coffin was to be deposited, after the ceremony, in +an outhouse, to be preserved until my death, when it was to receive my +corpse. There were reflections which I naturally made at the time, but +I stepped in, extended myself, and lay still. A pillow had been placed +at the head of the coffin, to support my head in a comfortable +position. A large, thick black cloth was then spread over me, and the +chanting of Latin hymns immediately commenced. My thoughts were not the +most pleasing during the time I lay in that situation. The pall, or +Drap Mortel, as the cloth is called, had a strong smell of incense, +which was always disagreeable to me, and then proved almost +suffocating. I recollected also a story I had heard of a novice, who, +in taking the veil, lay down in her coffin like me, and was covered in +the same manner, but on the removal of the covering was found dead. + +When I was uncovered, I rose, stepped out of my coffin, and kneeled. +The Bishop then addressed these words to the Superior, "Take care and +keep pure and spotless this young virgin, whom Christ has consecrated +to himself this day." After which the music commenced, and here the +whole was finished. I then proceeded from the chapel, and returned to +the Superior's room, followed by the other nuns, who walked two by two, +in their customary manner, with their hands folded on their breasts, +and their eyes cast down upon the floor. The nun who was to be my +companion in future, then walked at the end of the procession. On +reaching the Superior's door, they all left me, and I entered alone, +and found her with the Bishop and two priests. + +The Superior now informed me, that having taken the black veil, it only +remained that I should swear the three oaths customary on becoming a +nun; and that some explanations would be necessary from her. I was now, +she told me, to have access to every part of the edifice, even to the +cellar, where two of the sisters were imprisoned for causes which she +did not mention. I must be informed, that one of my great duties was, +to obey the priests in all things; and this I soon learnt, to my utter +astonishment and horror, was to live in the practice of criminal +intercourse with them. I expressed some of the feelings which this +announcement excited in me, which came upon me like a flash of +lightning, but the only effect was to set her arguing with me, in favor +of the crime, representing it as a virtue acceptable to God, and +honorable to me. The priests, she said, were not situated like other +men, being forbidden to marry; while they lived secluded, laborious, +and self-denying lives for our salvation. They might, indeed, be +considered our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain +the pardon of sin, and must go to hell. Now, it was our solemn duty, on +withdrawing from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to +practice every species of self-denial. We could not become too humble, +nor mortify our feelings too far; this was to be done by opposing them, +and acting contrary to them; and what she proposed was, therefore, +pleasing in the sight of God. I now felt how foolish I had been to +place myself in the power of such persons as were around me. + +From what she said I could draw no other conclusion, but that I was +required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my +future associates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and +detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and +horror, she told me that such feelings were very common at first, and +that many other nuns had expressed themselves as I did, who had long +since changed their minds. She even said, that on her entrance into the +nunnery, she had felt like me. + +Doubts, she declared, were among our greatest enemies. They would lead +us to question every point of duty, and induce us to waver at every +step. They arose only from remaining imperfection, and were always +evidence of sin. Our only way was to dismiss them immediately, repent, +and confess them. They were deadly sins, and would condemn us to hell, +if we should die without confessing them. Priests, she insisted, could +not sin. It was a thing impossible. Everything that they did, and +wished, was of course right. She hoped I would see the reasonableness +and duty of the oaths I was to take, and be faithful to them. + +She gave me another piece of information which excited other feelings +in me, scarcely less dreadful. Infants were sometimes born in the +convent; but they were always baptized and immediately strangled! This +secured their everlasting happiness; for the baptism purified them from +all sinfulness, and being sent out of the world before they had time to +do anything wrong, they were at once admitted into heaven. How happy, +she exclaimed, are those who secure immortal happiness to such little +beings! Their little souls would thank those who kill their bodies, if +they had it in their power! + +Into what a place, and among what society, had I been admitted! How +differently did a Convent now appear from what I had supposed it to be! +The holy women I had always fancied the nuns to be, the venerable Lady +Superior, what were they? And the priests of the seminary adjoining, +some of whom indeed I had had reason to think were base and profligate +men, what were they all? I now learnt they were often admitted into the +nunnery, and allowed to indulge in the greatest crimes, which they and +others called virtues. + +After having listened for some time to the Superior alone, a number of +the nuns were admitted, and took a free part in the conversation. They +concurred in everything which she had told me, and repeated, without +any signs of shame or compunction, things which criminated themselves. +I must acknowledge the truth, and declare that all this had an effect +upon my mind. I questioned whether I might not be in the wrong, and +felt as if their reasoning might have some just foundation. I had been +several years under the tuition of Catholics, and was ignorant of the +Scriptures, and unaccustomed to the society, example, and conversation +of Protestants; had not heard any appeal to the Bible as authority, but +had been taught, both by precept and example, to receive as truth +everything said by the priests. I had not heard their authority +questioned, nor anything said of any other standard of faith but their +declarations. I had long been familiar with the corrupt and licentious +expressions which some of them use at confessions, and believed that +other women were also. I had no standard of duty to refer to, and no +judgment of my own which I knew how to use, or thought of using. + +All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and +sinfulness; that they knew by experience they would soon give place to +true knowledge, and an advance in religion; and I felt something like +indecision. + +Still, there was so much that disgusted me in the discovery I had now +made, of the debased characters around me, that I would most gladly +have escaped from the nunnery, and never returned. But that was a thing +not to be thought of. I was in their power, and this I deeply felt, +while I thought there was not one among the whole number of nuns to +whom I could look for kindness. There was one, however, who began to +speak to me at length in a tone that gained something of my +confidence,--the nun whom I have mentioned before as distinguished by +her oddity, Jane Ray, who made us so much amusement when I was a +novice. Although, as I have remarked, there was nothing in her face, +form, or manners, to give me any pleasure, she addressed me with +apparent friendliness; and while she seemed to concur in some things +spoken by them, took an opportunity to whisper a few words in my ear, +unheard by them, intimating that I had better comply with everything +the Superior desired, if I would save my life. I was somewhat alarmed +before, but I now became much more so, and determined to make no +further resistance. The Superior then made me repeat the three oaths; +and when I had sworn them, I was shown into one of the community rooms, +and remained some time with the nuns, who were released from their +usual employments, and enjoying a recreation day, on account of the +admission of a new sister. My feelings during the remainder of that +day, I shall not attempt to describe; but pass on to mention the +ceremonies which took place at dinner. This description may give an +idea of the manner in which we always took our meals, although there +were some points in which the breakfast and supper were different. + +At 11 o'clock the bell rung for dinner, and the nuns all took their +places in a double row, in the same order as that in which they left +the chapel in the morning, except that my companion and myself were +stationed at the end of the line. Standing thus for a moment, with our +hands placed one on the other over the breast, and hidden in our large +cuffs, with our heads bent forward, and eyes fixed on the floor; an old +nun who stood at the door, clapped her hands as a signal for us to +proceed, and the procession moved on, while we all commenced the +repetition of litanies. We walked on in this order, repeating all the +way, until we reached the door of the dining-room, where we were +divided into two lines; those on the right passing down one side of the +long table, and those on the left the other, till all were in, and each +stopped in her place. The plates were all ranged, each with a knife, +fork, and spoon, rolled up in a napkin, and tied round with a linen +band marked with the owner's name. My own plate, knife, fork, &c., were +prepared like the rest, and on the band around them I found my new name +written:--"SAINT EUSTACE." + +There we stood till all had concluded the litany; when the old nun who +had taken her place at the head of the table next the door, said the +prayer before meat, beginning "Benedicite," and we sat down. I do not +remember of what our dinner consisted, but we usually had soup and some +plain dish of meat, the remains of which were occasionally served up at +supper as a fricassee. One of the nuns who had been appointed to read +that day, rose and began to lecture from a book put into her hands by +the Superior, while the rest of us ate in perfect silence. The nun who +reads during dinner stays afterward to dine. As fast as we finished our +meals, each rolled up her knife, fork, and spoon in her napkin, and +bound them together with the band, and set with hands folded. The old +nun then said a short prayer, rose, stepped a little aside, clapped her +hands, and we marched towards the door, bowing as we passed before a +little chapel or glass box, containing a wax image of the infant Jesus. + +Nothing important occurred until late in the afternoon, when, as I was +sitting in the community-room, Father Dufrèsne called me out, saying he +wished to speak with me. I feared what was his intention; but I dared +not disobey. In a private apartment, he treated me in a brutal manner; +and from two other priests I afterward received similar usage that +evening. Father Dufrèsne afterward appeared again; and I was compelled +to remain in company with him until morning. + +I am assured that the conduct of the priests in our Convent has never +been exposed, and is not imagined by the people of the United States. +This induces me to say what I do, notwithstanding the strong reasons I +have to let it remain unknown. Still, I cannot force myself to speak on +such subjects except in the most brief manner. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns. + + +On Thursday morning, the bell rung at half-past six to awaken us. The +old nun who was acting as night-watch immediately spoke aloud: + +"Voici le Seigneur qui vient." (Behold the Lord cometh.) The nuns all +responded: + +"Allons-y devant lui." (Let us go and meet him.) + +We then rose immediately, and dressed as expeditiously as possible, +stepping into the passage-way at the foot of our beds as soon as we +were ready, and taking places each beside her opposite companion. Thus +we were soon drawn up in a double row the whole length of the room, +with our hands folded across our breasts, and concealed in the broad +cuffs of our sleeves. Not a word was uttered. When the signal was +given, we all proceeded to the community-room, which is spacious, and +took our places in rows facing the entranced, near which the Superior +was seated in a vergiere, or large chair. + +We first repeated, "Au nom du Père, du Fils, et du Saint Esprit--Ainsi +soit il." (In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy +Ghost--Amen.) + +We then kneeled and kissed the floor; then, still on our knees, we said +a very long prayer, beginning: Divin Jesus, Sauveur de mon âme, (Divine +Jesus, Saviour of my soul). Then came the Lord's prayer, three Hail +Marys, four creeds, and five confessions (confesse à Dieu). + +Next we repeated the ten commandments. Then we repeated the Acts of +Faith, and a prayer to the Virgin in Latin, (which, like every thing +else in Latin, I never understood a word of.) Next we said the litanies +of the holy name of Jesus, in Latin, which was afterward to be repeated +several times in the course of the day. Then came the prayer for the +beginning of the day; then bending down, we commenced the Orison Mental +(or Mental Orison), which lasted about an hour and a half. + +This exercise was considered peculiarly solemn. We were told in the +nunnery that a certain saint was saved by the use of it, as he never +omitted it. It consists of several parts: First, the Superior read to +us a chapter from a book, which occupied five minutes. Then profound +silence prevailed for fifteen minutes, during which we were meditating +upon it. Then she read another chapter of equal length, on a different +subject and we meditated upon that another quarter of an hour; and +after a third reading and meditation, we finished the exercise with a +prayer, called an act of contrition, in which we asked forgiveness for +the sins committed during the Orison. + +During this hour and a half I became very weary, having before been +kneeling for some time, and having then to sit in another position more +uncomfortable, with my feet under me, my hands clasped, and my body +bent humbly forward, with my head bowed down. + +When the Orison was over, we all rose to the upright kneeling posture, +and repeated several prayers, and the litanies of the providences, +"providence de Dieu," &c.; then followed a number of Latin prayers, +which we repeated on the way to mass, for in the nunnery we had mass +daily. + +When mass was over we proceeded in our usual order to the eating-room +to breakfast, practising the same forms which I have described at +dinner. Having made our meal in silence, we repeated the litanies of +the "holy name of Jesus" as we proceeded to the community-room; and +such as had not finished them on their arrival, threw themselves upon +their knees, and remained there until they had gone through with them, +and then kissing the floor, rose again. + +At nine o'clock commenced the lecture, which was read by a nun +appointed to perform that duty that day; all the rest of us in the room +being engaged in work. + +The nuns were at this time distributed in different community-rooms, at +different kinds of work, and in each were listening to a lecture. This +exercise continued until ten o'clock, when the recreation-bell rang. We +still continued our work, but the nuns began to converse with each +other, on subjects permitted by the rules in the hearing of the old +nuns, one of whom was seated in each of the groups. + +At half-past ten the silence bell rang, and then conversation instantly +ceased, and the recitation of some Latin prayers commenced, which +continued half an hour. + +At eleven o'clock the dinner-bell rang, and then we proceeded to the +dining-room, and went through the forms and ceremonies of the preceding +day. We proceeded two by two. The old nun who had the command of us, +clapped her hands as the first couple reached the door, when we +stopped. The first two dipped their fingers into the font, touched the +holy water to the breast, forehead, and each side, thus forming a +cross, said, "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen," +and then walked on to the dining-room, repeating the litanies. The rest +followed their example. On reaching the door the couples divided, and +the two rows of nuns marching up, stopped and faced the table against +their plates. There we stood, repeating the close of the litany aloud. +The old nun then pronounced + +"BENEDICITE," + +and we sat down. One of our number began to read a lecture, which +continued during the whole meal: she stays to eat after the rest have +retired. When we had dined, each of us folded up her napkin, and again +folded her hands. The old nun then repeated a short prayer in French, +and stepping aside from the head of the table, let us pass out as we +came in. Each of us bowed in passing the little chapel near the door, +which is a glass case, containing a waxen figure of the infant Jesus. +When we reached the community-room we took our places in rows, and +kneeled upon the floor, while a nun read aloud, "Douleurs de notre +Sainte Marie" (the sorrows of our holy Mary.) At the end of each verse +we responded "Ave Maria." We then repeated again the litanies of the +Providences, and the + +"BENIS," &c. + +Then we kissed the floor, and rising, took our work, with leave to +converse on permitted subjects; that is what is called _recreation_ +till one o'clock. We then began to repeat litanies, one at a time in +succession, still engaged at sewing, for an hour. + +At two o'clock commenced the afternoon lectures, which lasted till near +three. At that hour one of the nuns stood up in the middle of the room, +and asked each of us a question out of the catechism; and such as were +unable to answer correctly, were obliged to kneel down, until that +exercise was concluded, upon as many dry peas as there were verses in +the chapter out of which they were questioned. This seems like a +penance of no great importance; but I have sometimes kneeled on peas +until I suffered great inconvenience, and even pain. It soon makes one +feel as if needles were running through the skin: whoever thinks it a +trifle, had better try it. + +At four o'clock recreation commenced, when we were allowed, as usual, +to speak to each other, while at work. + +At half-past four we began to repeat prayers in Latin, while we worked, +and concluded about five o'clock, when we commenced repeating the +"prayers for the examination of conscience," the "prayer after +confession," the "prayer before sacrament," and the "prayer after +sacrament." Thus we continued our work until dark, when we laid it +aside, and began to go over the same prayers which we had repeated in +the morning, with the exception of the orison mental; instead of that +long exercise, we examined our consciences, to determine whether we had +performed the resolution we had made in the morning; and such as had +kept it, repeated an "acte de joie," or expression of gratitude; while +such as had not, said an "acte de contrition." + +When the prayers were concluded, any nun who had been disobedient in +the day, knelt and asked pardon of the Superior and her companions "for +the scandal she had caused them;" and then requested the Superior to +give her a penance to perform. When all the penances, had been imposed, +we all proceeded to the eating-room to supper, repeating litanies on +the way. + +At supper the ceremonies were the same as at dinner, except that there +was no lecture read. We ate in silence, and went out bowing to the +chapelle, and repeating litanies. Returning to the community-room which +we had left, we had more prayers to repeat, which are called La +couronne, (crown,) which consists of the following parts: + + 1st, Four Paters, + 2d, Four Ave Marias, + 3d, Four Gloria Patris, + 4th, Benis, &c. + +At the close of these we kissed the floor; after which we had +recreation till half-past eight o'clock, being allowed to converse on +permitted subjects, but closely watched, and not allowed to sit in +corners. + +At half-past eight a bell was rung, and a chapter was read to us, in a +book of meditations, to employ our minds upon during our waking hours +at night. + +Standing near the door, we dipped our fingers in the holy water, +crossed and blessed ourselves, and proceeded up to the sleeping-room, +in the usual order, two by two. When we had got into bed, we repeated a +prayer beginning with + + "Mon Dieu, je vous donne mon coeur," + "God, I give you my heart;" + +and then an old nun, bringing some holy water, sprinkled it on our beds +to drive away the devil, while we took some and crossed ourselves again. + +At nine o'clock the bell rung, and all who were awake repeated a +prayer, called the offrande; those who were asleep were considered as +excused. + +After my admission among the nuns, I had more opportunity than before, +to observe the conduct of mad Jane Ray. She behaved quite differently +from the rest, and with a degree of levity irreconcilable with the +rules. She was, as I have described her, a large woman, with nothing +beautiful or attractive in her face, form, or manners; careless in her +dress, and of a restless disposition, which prevented her from steadily +applying herself to any thing for any length of time, and kept her +roving about, and almost perpetually talking to somebody or other. It +would be very difficult to give an accurate description of this +singular woman; dressed in the plain garments of the nuns, bound by the +same vows, and accustomed to the same life, resembling them in nothing +else, and frequently interrupting all their employments. She was +apparently almost always studying or pursuing some odd fancy; now +rising from sewing, to walk up and down, or straying in from another +apartment, looking about, addressing some of us, and passing out again, +or saying something to make us laugh, in periods of the most profound +silence. But what showed that she was no novelty, was the little +attention paid to her, and the levity with which she was treated by the +old nuns; even the Superior every day passed over irregularities in +this singular person, which she would have punished with penances, or +at least have met with reprimands, in any other. From what I saw of +her, I soon perceived that she betrayed two distinct traits of +character; a kind disposition towards such as she chose to prefer, and +a pleasure in teasing those she disliked, or such as had offended her. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st +Floor--2d Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of +Novices--Religious Lies--Criminality of Concealing Sins at Confession. + + +I will now give from memory, a general description of the interior of +the Convent of Black nuns, except the few apartments which I never saw. +I may be inaccurate in some things, as the apartments and passages of +that spacious building are numerous and various; but I am willing to +risk my credit for truth and sincerity on the general correspondence +between my description and things as they are. And this would, perhaps +be as good a case as any by which to test the truth of my statements, +were it possible to obtain access to the interior. It is well known, +that none but veiled nuns, the bishop, and priests, are ever admitted; +and, of course, that I cannot have seen what I profess to describe, if +I have not been a Black nun. [Footnote: I ought to have made an +exception here, which I may enlarge upon in future Certain other +persons are sometimes admitted.] The priests who read this book, will +acknowledge to themselves the truth of my description; but will, of +course deny it to the world, and probably exert themselves to destroy +or discredit, I offer to every reader the following description, +knowing that time may possibly throw open those secret recesses, and +allow the entrance of those who can satisfy themselves, with their own +eyes, of its truth. Some of my declarations may be thought deficient in +evidence; and this they must of necessity be in the present state of +things. But here is a kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how +unquestionable and satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be +obtained. + +If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever it shall be examined, is +materially different from the following description, then I can claim +no confidence of my readers. If it resembles it, they will, I presume, +place confidence in some of those declarations, on which I may never be +corroborated by true and living witnesses. + +I am sensible that great changes may be made in the furniture of +apartments; that new walls may be constructed, or old ones removed; and +I have been credibly informed, that masons have been employed in the +nunnery since I left it. I well know, however, that entire changes +cannot be made; and that enough must remain as it was to substantiate +my description, whenever the truth shall be known. + +_The First Story_. + +Beginning at the extremity of the right wing of the Convent, towards +Notre Dame-street, on the first story, there is-- + +1st. The nuns' private chapel, adjoining which is a passage to a small +projection of the building, extending from the upper story to the +ground, with very small windows. Into the passage we were sometimes +required to bring wood from the yard and pile it up for use. + +2d. A large community-room, with plain benches fixed against the wall +to sit, and lower ones in front to place our feet upon. There is a +fountain in the passage near the chimney at the farther end, for +washing the hands and face, with a green curtain sliding on a rod +before it. This passage leads to the old nuns' sleeping-room on the +right, and the Superior's sleeping-room, just beyond it, as well as to +a staircase which conducts to the nuns' sleeping-room, or dortoir, +above. At the end of the passage is a door opening into-- + +3d. The dining-room; this is larger than the community-room, and has +three long tables for eating, and a chapelle, or collection of little +pictures, a crucifix, and a small image of the infant Saviour in a +glass case. This apartment has four doors, by the first of which we are +supposed to have entered, while one opens to a pantry, and the third +and fourth to the two next apartments. + +4th. A large community-room, with tables for sewing, and a staircase on +the opposite left-hand corner. + +5th. A community-room for prayer, used by both nuns and novices. In the +farther right-hand corner is a small room partitioned off, called the +room for the examination of conscience, which I had visited while a +novice by permission of the Superior, and where nuns and novices +occasionally resorted to reflect on their character, usually in +preparation for the sacrament, or when they had transgressed some of +the rules. This little room was hardly large enough to contain half a +dozen persons at a time. + +6th. Next beyond is a large community-room for Sundays. A door leads to +the yard, and thence to a gate in the wall on the cross street. + +7th. Adjoining this is a sitting-room, fronting on the cross street, +with two windows, and a store-room on the side opposite them. There is +but little furniture, and that very plain. + +8th. From this room a door leads into what I may call the wax-room, as +it contains many figures in wax, not intended for sale. There we +sometimes used to pray, or meditate on the Saviour's passion. This room +projects from the main building; leaving it, you enter a long passage, +with cupboards on the right, in which are stored crockery-ware, knives +and forks, and other articles of table furniture, to replace those worn +out or broken--all of the plainest description; also, shovels, tongs, +&c. This passage leads to-- + +9th. A corner room, with a few benches, &c., and a door leading to a +gate on the street. Here some of the medicines were kept, and persons +were often admitted on business, or to obtain medicines with tickets +from the priests; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be +sent for. Beyond this room we were never allowed to go; and I cannot +speak from personal knowledge of what came next. + +_The Second Story_. + +Beginning, as before, at the western extremity of the same wing, but on +the second story, the farthest apartment in that direction which I ever +entered was-- + +1st. The nuns' sleeping-room, or dormitory, which I have already +described. Here is an access to the projection mentioned in speaking of +the first story. The stairs by which we came up to bed are at the +farther end of the room; and near them a crucifix and font of holy +water. A door at the end of the room opens into a passage, with two +small rooms, and closets between them, containing bedclothes. Next you +enter-- + +2d. A small community-room, beyond which is a passage with a narrow +staircase, seldom used, which leads into the fourth community-room, in +the first story. Following the passage just mentioned, you enter by a +door-- + +3d. A little sitting-room, furnished in the following manner: with +chairs, a sofa, on the north side, covered with a red-figured cover and +fringe, a table in the middle, commonly bearing one or two books, an +inkstand, pens, &c. At one corner is a little projection into the room, +caused by a staircase leading from above to the floor below, without +any communication with the second story. This room has a door opening +upon a staircase leading down to the yard, on the opposite side of +which is a gate opening into the cross street. By this way the +physician is admitted, except when he comes later than usual. When he +comes in, he usually sits a little while, until a nun goes into the +adjoining nuns' sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to admit +him. After prescribing for the patients he goes no farther, but returns +by the way he enters; and these two are the only rooms into which he is +ever admitted, except the public hospital. + +4th. The nuns' sick-room adjoins the little sitting-room on the east, +and has, I think, four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in +two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the +opposite extremity. The door from the sitting-room swings to the left, +and behind it is a table, while a glass case, to the right, contains a +wax figure of the infant Saviour, with several sheep. Near the +northeastern corner of this room are two doors, one of which opens into +a long and narrow passage leading to the head of the great staircase +that conducts to the cross street. By this passage the physician +sometimes finds his way to the sick-room, when he comes later than +usual. He rings the bell at the gate, which I was told had a concealed +pull, known only to him and the priests, proceeds up-stairs and through +the passage, rapping three times at the door of the sick-room, which is +opened by a nun in attendance, after she has given one rap in reply. +When he has visited his patients, and prescribed for them, he returns +by the same way. + +5th. Next beyond this sick-room, is a large unoccupied apartment, half +divided by two partial partitions, which leave an open space in the +middle. Here some of the old nuns commonly sit in the day-time. + +6th. A door from this apartment opens into another not appropriated to +any particular use, but containing a table, where medicines are +sometimes prepared by an old nun, who is usually found there. Passing +through this room, you enter a passage with doors on its four sides: +that on the left, which is kept fastened on the inside, leads to the +staircase and gate; that in front, to private sick-rooms soon to be +described. + +7th. That on the right leads to another, appropriated to nuns suffering +with the most loathsome disease. There were usually a number of straw +mattresses, in that room, as I well knew, having helped to carry them +in after the yard-man had filled them. A door beyond enters into a +store-room, which extends also beyond this apartment. On the right, +another door opens into another passage; crossing which, you enter by a +door-- + +8th. A room with a bed and screen in one corner, on which nuns were +laid to be examined before their introduction into the sick-room last +mentioned. Another door, opposite the former, opens into a passage, in +which is a staircase leading down. + +9th. Beyond this is a spare-room, sometimes used to store apples, boxes +of different things, &c. + +10th. Returning now to the passage which opens on one side upon the +stairs to the gate, we enter the only remaining door, which leads into +an apartment usually occupied by some of the old nuns, and frequently +by the Superior. + +11th, and 12th. Beyond this are two more sick-rooms, in one of which +those nuns stay who are waiting their accouchment, and in the other, +those who have passed it. + +13th. The next is a small sitting-room, where a priest waits to baptize +the infants previous to their murder. A passage leads from this room, +on the left, by the doors of two succeeding apartments, neither of +which have I ever entered. + +14th. The first of them is the "holy retreat," or room occupied by the +priests, while suffering the penalty of their licentiousness. + +15th. The other is a sitting-room, to which they have access. Beyond +these the passage leads to two rooms, containing closets for the +storage of various articles, and two others where persons are received +who come on business. + +The public hospitals succeed, and extend a considerable distance, I +believe, to the extremity of the building. By a public entrance in that +part, priests often come into the nunnery; and I have often seen some +of them thereabouts, who must have entered by that way. Indeed, priests +often get into the "holy retreat" without exposing themselves to the +view of persons in other parts of the Convent, and have been first +known to be there, by the yard-man being sent to the Seminary for their +clothes. + +The Congregational Nunnery was founded by a nun called Sister +Bourgeoise. She taught a school in Montreal, and left property for the +foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept, +under the nunnery, in an iron chest, which has been shown to me, with +the assurance that it continues in perfect preservation, although she +has been dead more than one hundred and fifty years. In the chapel is +the following inscription: "Soeur Bourgeoise, Fondatrice du +Couvent"--Sister Bourgeoise, Founder of the Convent. + +Nothing was more common than for the Superior to step hastily into our +community-rooms, while numbers of us were assembled there, and hastily +communicate her wishes in words like these:-- + +"Here are the parents of such a novice: come with me, and bear me out +in this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of +falsehoods, she had just invented, that we might be prepared to +fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else might favor the +deception. This was justified, and indeed most highly commended, by the +system of faith in which we were instructed. + +It was a common remark made at the initiation of a new nun into the +Black nun department, that is, to receive the black veil, that the +introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, caused +the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on +account of the singular disappearance of some of the older nuns at the +entrance of new ones! + +To witness the scenes which often occurred between us and strangers, +would have struck a person very powerfully, if he had known how truth +was set at naught. The Superior, with a serious and dignified air, and +a pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most +favorable to the character of the absent novice, and representing her +as equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The +tale told by the Superior, whatever it was, however unheard before, +might have been any of her statements, was then attested by us, who, in +every way we could think of, endeavored to confirm her declarations, +beyond the reach of doubt. + +Sometimes the Superior would intrust the management of such a case to +some of the nuns, whether to habituate us to the practice in which she +was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have +been a serious burden to most other persons, or to ascertain whether +she could depend upon us, or all together, I cannot tell. Often, +however, have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried +manner, "Who can tell the best story?" + +One point, on which we received frequent and particular, instructions +was, the nature of falsehoods. On this subject I have heard many a +speech, I had almost said many a sermon; and I was led to believe that +it was one of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well +informed, as well as to act. "What!" exclaimed a priest one day--"what, +a nun of your age, and not know the difference between a wicked and a +religious lie!" + +He then went on, as had been done many times previously in my hearing, +to show the essential difference between the two different kinds of +falsehoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own +interest alone, or for no object at all, he painted as a sin worthy of +penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or Convent, was +meritorious, and of course the telling of it a duty. And of this class +of lies there were many varieties and shades. This doctrine has been +inculcated on me and my companions in the nunnery, more times than I +can enumerate: and to say that it was generally received, would be to +tell a part of the truth. We often saw the practice of it, and were +frequently made to take part in it. Whenever anything which the +Superior thought important, could be most conveniently accomplished by +falsehood, she resorted to it without scruple. + +There was a class of cases in which she more frequently relied on +deception than any other. + +The friends of the novices frequently applied at the Convent to see +them, or at least to inquire after their welfare. It was common for +them to be politely refused an interview, on some account or other, +generally a mere pretext; and then the Superior usually sought to make +as favorable an impression as possible on the visitors. Sometimes she +would make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers; requiring +some of us to confirm it, in the most convincing way we could. + +At other times she would prefer to make over to us the task of +deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and +success. + +Some nun usually showed her submission, by immediately stepping +forward. She would then add, perhaps, that the parents of such a +novice, whom she named, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they +should be told such, and such, and such things. To perform so difficult +a task well, was considered a difficult duty, and it was one of the +most certain ways to gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever +volunteered to make a story on the spot, was sent immediately to tell +it, and the other nuns present were hurried off with her under strict +injunctions to uphold her in every thing she might state. The Superior, +as there was every reason to believe, on all such occasions, when she +did not herself appear, hastened to the apartment adjoining that in +which the nuns were going, there to listen through the thin partition, +to hear whether all performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon +for her to go rather further, when she wanted time to give such +explanations as she could have desired. She would then enter abruptly, +ask, "Who can tell a good story this morning?" and hurry us off without +a moment's delay, to do our best at a venture, without waiting for +instructions. It would be curious, could a stranger from "the wicked +world" outside the Convent witness such a scene. One of the nuns, who +felt in a favourable humour to undertake the proposed task, would step +promptly forward, and signify her readiness in the usual way: by a +knowing wink of one eye, and slight toss of the head. + +"Well go and do the best you can," the superior would say; "and all the +rest of you must mind and swear to it." The latter part of the order, +at least, was always performed; for in every such case, all the nuns +present appeared as unanimous witnesses of everything that was uttered +by the spokesman of the day. + +We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look +upon ourselves as our own; but must remember, that we were solemnly and +irrevocably devoted to God. Whatever was required of us, we were called +upon to yield under the most solemn considerations. I cannot speak on +every particular with equal freedom: but I wish my readers clearly to +understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used to +reduce us to what we had to submit to. Not only were we required to +perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers, and +penances, under the idea that we were performing solemn duties to our +Maker, but every thing else which was required of us, we were +constantly told, was something indispensable in his sight. The priests, +we admitted were the servants of God, specially appointed by his +authority, to teach us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and to lead us +to heaven. Without their assistance, we had allowed we could never +enjoy the favour of God; unless they administered the sacraments to us, +we could not enjoy everlasting happiness. Having consented to +acknowledge all this, we had no other objection to urge against +admitting any other demand that might be made for or by them. If we +thought an act ever so criminal, the Superior would tell us that the +priests acted under the direct sanction of God, and _could not sin_. Of +course, then, it could not be wrong to comply with any of their +requests, because they could not demand any thing but what was right. +On the contrary, to refuse to do any thing they asked, would +necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines admitted, and such practices +performed, it will not seem wonderful when I mention that we often felt +something of their preposterous character. + +Sometimes we took a pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes +of our teachers; and I recollect one subject particularly, which at one +period afforded us repeated merriment. It may seem irreverent in me to +give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature +were sometimes treated in the Convent, by women bearing the title of +saints. A Canadian Novice, who spoke very broken English, one day +remarked that she was performing some duty "for the God." This peculiar +expression had something ridiculous to the ears of some of us; and it +was soon repeated again and again, in application to various ceremonies +which we had to perform. Mad Jane Ray seized upon it with avidity, and +with her aid it soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so +that we were constantly reminding each other, that we were doing this +and that thing, how trifling and unmeaning soever, "for the God." Nor +did we stop here: when the superior called upon us to bear witness to +one of her religious lies, or to fabricate the most spurious one the +time would admit; to save her the trouble, we were sure to be reminded, +on our way to the strangers' room, that we were doing it "for the God." +And so it was when other things were mentioned--every thing which +belonged to our condition, was spoken of in similar terms. + +I have hardly detained the reader long enough on the subject, to give +him a just impression of the stress laid on confession. It is one of +the great points to which our attention was constantly directed. We +were directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts; to +have continually before our minds the rules of the Convent, to compare +the one with the other, remember every devotion, and tell all, even the +smallest, at confession, either to the Superior or to the priest. My +mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity, which proved very +wearisome; and it required the constant exertion of our teachers, to +keep us up to the practice they inculcated. + +Another tale recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us to +make us feel the importance of unreserved confession. A nun of our +Convent, who had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and +without any one to confess her. Her sisters assembled to pray for the +peace of her soul, when she appeared, and informed them, that it would +be of no use, but rather troublesome to her, as her pardon was +impossible. [Footnote: Since the first edition, I have found this tale +related in a Romish book, as one of very ancient date. It was told to +us as having taken place in our Convent.] The doctrine is, that prayers +made for souls guilty of unconfessed sin, do but sink them deeper in +hell; and this is the reason I have heard given for not praying for +Protestants. + +The authority of the priests in everything, and the enormity of every +act which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds, in various +ways, by our teachers. A "Father" told us the following story one day +at catechism. + +A man once died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had +asked of him; he was condemned to be burnt in purgatory until he should +pay it but had permission to come back to this world, and take a human +body to work in. He made his appearance therefore again on earth, and +hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day with the +fire burning in him, unseen by other people; but while he was in bed +that night, a girl in an adjoining room, perceiving the smell of +brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with +flames. She informed his master, who questioned him the next morning, +and found that his hired man was secretly suffering the pains of +purgatory, for neglecting to pay a certain sum of money to the priest. +He, therefore furnished him the amount due; it was paid, and the +servant went off immediately to heaven. The priest cannot forgive any +debt due unto him, because it is the Lord's estate. + +While at confession, I was urged to hide nothing from the priest, and +have been told by them, that they already knew what was in my heart, +but would not tell, because it was necessary for me to confess it. I +really believed that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts; and +often stood in great awe of them. They often told me they had power to +strike me dead at any moment. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the +Cellar--Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's +Instructions--Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the +Nunnery--Opinions expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of +the Scriptures. + + +I found that I had several namesakes among the nuns, for there were two +others who already bore my new name, Saint Eustace. This was not a +solitary case, for there were five Saint Marys, and three Saint Monros, +besides two novices of that name. Of my namesakes I have little to say, +for they resembled most of the nuns; being so much cut off from +intercourse with me and the other sisters, that I never saw anything in +them, nor learnt any thing about them, worth mentioning. + +Several of my new companions were squaws, who had taken the veil at +different times. They were from some of the Indian settlements in the +country, but were not distinguishable by any striking habits of +character from other nuns, and were generally not very different in +their appearance when in their usual dress, and engaged in their +customary occupations. It was evident, that they were treated with much +kindness and lenity by the Superior and the old nuns; and this I +discovered was done in order to render them as well contented and happy +in their situation as possible. I should have attributed the motives +for this partiality to their wishing that they might not influence +others to keep away, had I not known they were, like ourselves, unable +to exert such an influence. And therefore, I could not satisfy my own +mind why this difference was made. Many of the Indians were remarkably +devoted to the priests, believing every thing they were taught; and as +it is represented to be not only a high honor, but a real advantage to +a family, to have one of its members become a nun, Indian parents will +often pay large sums of money for the admission of their daughters into +a convent. The father of one of the squaws, I was told, paid to the +Superior nearly her weight in silver on her reception, although he was +obliged to sell nearly all his property to raise the money. This he did +voluntarily, because he thought himself overpaid by having the +advantage of her prayers, self-sacrifices, &c. for himself and the +remainder of his family. The squaws sometimes served to amuse us; for +when we were partially dispirited or gloomy, the Superior would +occasionally send them to dress themselves in their Indian garments, +which usually excited us to merriment. + +Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly remember, was one of the +Sainte Hypolites, not the one who figured in a dreadful scene, +described in another part of this narrative, but a woman of a far more +mild and humane character. + +Three or four days after my reception, the Superior sent me into the +cellar for coal; and after she had given me directions, I proceeded +down a staircase, with a lamp in my hand. I soon found myself upon the +bare earth, in a spacious place, so dark, that I could not at once +distinguish its form, or size, but I observed that it had very solid +stone walls, and was arched overhead, at no great elevation. Following +my directions, I proceeded onward from the foot of the stairs, where +appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen +paces, I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large +iron bolts on the outside, pushed into posts of stone-work, and each +having a small opening above, covered with a fine grating, secured by a +smaller bolt. On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these, +and placed opposite them. + +Beyond these, the space became broader; the doors evidently closed +small compartments, projecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I +soon stepped upon a wooden floor, on which were heaps of wool, coarse +linen, and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional +use. I soon crossed the floor, and found the bare earth again under my +feet. + +A little farther on, I found the cellar again contracted in size, by a +row of closets, or smaller compartments projecting on each side. These +were closed by doors of a different description from the first, having +a simple fastening, and no opening through them. Just beyond, on the +left side, I passed a staircase leading up, and then three doors, much +resembling those first described, standing opposite three more, on the +other side of the cellar. Having passed these, I found the cellar +enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some +whitish substance, which attracted my attention. + +As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface +looked almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a +hole dug so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I +stopped to observe it.--It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet +across; in the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of +curb, so that one might easily have walked into it, in the dark. + +The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the +surface around it; and lay in such quantities on all sides, that it +seemed as if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It +immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that +this must be the place where the infants were buried, after being +murdered, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that lime is often +used by Roman Catholics in burying-places; and in this way I accounted +for its being scattered about the spot in such quantities. + +This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it +affected me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things +in the Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from +feeling as I should formerly have done in similar circumstances. + +I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true, +about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place, +but with recollections also of the declarations which I had heard, +about the favor done their souls by sending them straight to heaven, +and the necessary virtue accompanying all the actions of the priests. + +Whether I noticed them or not, at the time, there is a window or two on +each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown +articles brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent. +Through the windows on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the +cross street, lime is received from carts; and I then saw a large heap +of it near the place. + +Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on each +side, with three cells like those I first described.--Beyond them, in +another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetables, and other +things, on the right; and on the left I found the charcoal I was in +search of. This was placed in a heap against the wall, as I might then +have observed, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is +thrown in. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated. + +The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at different +heights, for the earth on the bottom is uneven, and in some places +several feet higher than in others. + +Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent, +especially after the discovery I had made, I hastened to fill my basket +with coal, and to return. + +Here then I was, in a place which I had considered as the nearest +imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds +were constantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most criminal, +and I had now found the place in which harmless infants were +unfeelingly thrown out of sight, after being murdered. + +And yet, such is the power of instruction and example, although not +satisfied, as many around me seemed to be, that all was righteous and +proper, I sometimes was half inclined to believe it, for the priests +could do no sin, and this was done by priests. + +Among the first instructions I received from the Superior, were such as +prepared me to admit priests into the nunnery from the street at +irregular hours. It is no secret, that priests enter and go out; but if +they were to be watched by any person in St. Paul's street all day +long, no irregularity might be suspected; and they might be supposed to +visit the Convent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely. + +But if a person was near the gate at midnight, he might sometimes form +a different opinion; for when a stray priest is shut out of the +Seminary, or is otherwise put to the need of seeking a lodging, he is +always sure of being admitted to the black nunnery. Nobody but a priest +or the physician can ring the bell at the sick-room door; much less can +any others gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed, +somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have been told. + +He makes himself known as a priest by a peculiar kind of hissing sound, +made by the tongue against the teeth, while they are kept closed, and +the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until +informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognizes the +signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often +used instead of yes, with the mouth closed. + +The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite +important, and taught me the signals. I had often occasion to use them; +I have been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching +in a sick room, and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I +have mentioned; then, according to my standing orders, unfastened the +door, admitted the priest, who was at liberty to go where he pleased. I +will name Mr. Bierze, from St. Denis. + +The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them, +were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are +used by the daily readers, while we were at work, and meals. These were +all furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never +had access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then +exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select. + +Le Miroir du Chrétien (Christian Mirror), History of Rome, History of +the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent), in +two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur (the Guardian Angel), L'Ange Chrétien +(the Christian Angel), Les Vies des Saints (Lives of Saints), in +several volumes, Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations +between a Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on +the articles of faith, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the +former was confuted. One large book, the name of which I have +forgotten, occupied us nine or ten months at our lectures, night and +morning. L'Instruction de la Jeunesse (the Instruction of Youth), +containing much about Convents, and the education of persons in the +world, with a great deal on confessions, &c. Examen de la Conscience, +(Examination of Conscience), is a book frequently used. + +I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day +I entered as a novice, until that on which I effected my escape. The +Catholic New Testament, commonly called the Evangile, was read to us +about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the reader what +passage to select; but we never had it in our hands to read when we +pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of in bitter terms, +as a most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands +of common people. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the +Convent--Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her +House--The Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane +Ray--Vacillation of feelings. + + +Large quantities of bread are made in the Black Nunnery every week, for +besides what is necessary to feed the nuns, many of the poor are +supplied. When a priest wishes to give a loaf of bread to a poor +person, he gives him an order, which is presented at the Convent. The +making of bread is therefore one of the most laborious employments in +the Institution. + +The manufacture of wax candles was another important branch of business +in the nunnery. It was carried on in a small room, on the first floor, +thence called the Ciergerie, or wax-room; _cierge_ being the French +word for a _wax candle_. I was sometimes sent to read the daily lecture +and catechism to the nuns employed there, but found it a very +unpleasant task, as the smell rising from the melted wax gave me a +sickness at the stomach. The employment was considered rather +unhealthy, and those were assigned to it who had the strongest +constitutions. The nuns who were more commonly employed in that room, +were Sainte Marie, Sainte Catharine, Sainte Charlotte, Sainte Francis, +Sainte Hyacinthe, Sainte Hypolite, and others. But with these, as with +other persons in the Convent, I was never allowed to speak, except +under circumstances before mentioned. I was sent to read, and was not +allowed even to answer the most trivial question, if one were asked me. +Should a nun say, "what o'clock is it?" I never should have dared to +reply, but was required to report her to the Superior. + +Much stress was laid on the _sainte scapulaire_, or, holy scapulary. +This is a small band of cloth or silk, formed and wrought in a peculiar +manner, to be tied around the neck by two strings, fastened to the +ends. I have made many of them, having been sometimes set to make them +in the Convent. On one side is worked a kind of double cross, (thus, +XX) and on the other I. II. S., the meaning of which I do not exactly +know. Such a band is called a scapulary, and many miracles are +attributed to its power. Children on first receiving the communion are +often presented with scapularies, which they are taught to regard with +great reverence. We were told of the wonders effected by their means, +in the addresses made to us, by priests at catechism or lectures. I +will repeat one or two of the stories which occur to me. + +A Roman Catholic servant woman, who had concealed some of her sins at +confession, acted so hypocritical a part as to make her mistress +believe her a _décote_, or a strict observer of her duty. She even +imposed upon her confessor, to such a degree, that he gave her a +scapulary. After he had given it, however, one of the saints in heaven +informed him in a vision, that the holy scapulary must not remain on +the neck of so great a sinner; and that it must be restored to the +church. She lay down that night with the scapulary round her throat, +but in the morning was found dead, with her head cut off, and the +scapulary was discovered in the church. The belief was, that the devil +could not endure to have so holy a thing on one of his servants, and +had pulled so hard to get it off, as to draw the silken thread with +which it was tied, through her neck; after which, by some divine power +it was restored to the church. + +Another story was as follows. A poor Roman Catholic was once taken +prisoner by the heretics. He had a _sainte scapulaire_ on his neck, +when God seeing him in the midst of his foes, took it from his neck by +a miracle, and held it up in the air above the throng of heretics; more +than one hundred of whom were converted, by seeing it thus +supernaturally suspended. + +I had been informed by the Superior, on my first admission as a nun, +that there was a subterraneous passage, leading from the cellar of our +Convent into that of the Congregational Nunnery; but, though I had so +often visited the cellar, I had never seen it. One day, after I had +been received three or four months, I was sent to walk through it upon +my knees with another nun, as a penance. This, and other penances, were +sometimes put upon us by the priests, without any reason assigned. The +common way, indeed, was to tell us of the sin for which a penance was +imposed, but we were left many times to conjecture. Now and then the +priests would inform us at a subsequent confession, when he happened to +recollect something about it, as I thought, and not because he +reflected, or cared much about the subject. + +The nun who was with me led me through the cellar, passing to the right +of the secret burying place, and showed me the door of the +subterraneous passage, which was at the extremity towards the +Congregational Nunnery. The reasons why I had not noticed it before, I +presume, were that it was made to shut close and even with the wall, +and all that part of the cellar was whitewashed. The door, which is of +wood, and square, opens with a latch into a passage, about four feet +and a half high. We immediately got upon our knees, commenced saying +the prayers required, and began to move slowly along the dark and +narrow passage. It may be fifty or sixty feet in length; when we +reached the end, we opened a door, and found ourselves in the cellar of +the Congregational Nunnery, at some distance from the outer wall; for +the covered way is carried in towards the middle of the cellar by two +low partitions covered at the top. By the side of the door, was placed +a list of names of the Black nuns, with a slide, that might be drawn +over any of them. We covered our names in this manner, as evidence of +having performed the duty assigned us; and then returned backwards on +our knees, by the way we had come. This penance I repeatedly performed +afterwards; and by this way, as I have occasion elsewhere to mention, +nuns from the Congregational Nunnery, sometimes entered our Convent for +worse purposes. + +We were frequently assured, that miracles are still performed; and +pains were taken to impress us deeply on this subject. The Superior +often spoke to us of the Virgin Mary's pincushion, the remains of which +it is pretended are preserved in the Convent, though it has crumbled +quite to dust. We regarded this relic with such veneration, that we +were afraid even to look at it, and we often heard the following story +related, when the subject was introduced. + +A priest in Jerusalem once had a vision, in which he was informed that +the house in which the Virgin had lived, should be removed from its +foundations, and transported to a distance. He did not think the +communication was from God, and therefore disregarded it; but the house +was soon after missed, which convinced him that the vision was true, +and he told where the house might be found. A picture of the house is +preserved in the Nunnery, and was sometimes shown us. There are also +wax figures of Joseph sawing wood, and Jesus as a child, picking up the +chips. We were taught to sing a little song relating to this, the +chorus of which I remember. + + "Saint Joseph charpentier, + Petit Jesus ramassait les copeaux + Pour fair bouillir la marmite." + +St. Joseph was a carpenter, little Jesus collected chips to make the +pot boil. + +I began to speak of miracles, and I recollect a story of one, about a +family in Italy saved from shipwreck by a priest, who were in +consequence converted and had two sons honoured with the priest's +office. + +I had heard before I entered the Convent, about a great fire which +destroyed a number of houses in the Quebec suburbs, and which some said +the Bishop extinguished with holy water. I once heard a Catholic and a +Protestant disputing on this subject, and when I went to the +Congregational Nunnery, I sometimes heard the children, alluding to the +same story, say at an alarm of fire, "Is it a Catholic fire? Then why +does not the Bishop run?" + +Among the topics on which the bishop addressed the nuns in the Convent +this was one. He told us the story one day, and said he could have +sooner interfered and stopped the flames, but that at last, finding +they were about to destroy too many Catholic houses, he threw holy +water on the fire, and extinguished it. I believed this, and also +thought that he was able to put out any fire, but that he never did it, +except when inspired. + +The holy water which the Bishop had consecrated, was considered much +more efficacious, than any blessed by a common priest; and this it was +which was used in the Convent in sprinkling our beds. It had virtue in +it, to keep off any evil spirits. + +Now that I was a nun, I was occasionally sent to read lectures to the +novices, as other nuns had been while I was a novice. There were but +few of us, who were thought capable of reading English well enough, and +therefore, I was more frequently sent than I might otherwise have been. +The Superior often said to me, as I was going among the novices: + +"Try to convert them--save their souls--you know you will have a higher +place in heaven for every one you convert." + +For whatever reason, Mad Jane Ray seemed to take great delight in +crossing and provoking the Superior and old nuns; and often she would +cause an interruption when it was most inconvenient and displeasing to +them. The preservation of silence was insisted upon most rigidly, and +penances of such a nature were imposed for breaking it, that it was a +constant source of uneasiness with me, to know that I might infringe +the rules in so many ways, and that inattention might at any moment +subject me to something very unpleasant. During the periods of +meditation, therefore, and those of lecture, work, and repose, I kept a +strict guard upon myself, to escape penances, as well as to avoid sin; +and the silence of the other nuns, convinced me that they were equally +watchful, and from the same motives. + +My feelings, however, varied at different times, and so did those of +many, if not all my companions, excepting the older ones, who took +their turns in watching us. We sometimes felt disposed for gaiety, and +threw off all ideas that talking was sinful, even when forbidden by the +rules of the Convent. And even when I felt that I might perhaps be +doing wrong, I reflected that confession, and certainly penance, would +soon wipe off the guilt. + +I may remark here, that I ere long found out several things, important +to be known, to a person living under such rules. One of these was, +that it was much better to confess to a priest, a sin committed against +the rules, because he would not require one of the penances I most +disliked, viz.: those which exposed of me to the observation of the +nuns, or which demanded self-debasement before them, like begging their +pardon, kissing the floor, or the Superior's feet, &c., and, besides, +he as a confessor was said to be bound to secrecy, and could not inform +the Superior against me. My conscience being as effectually unburthened +by my confession to the priest, as I had been taught to believe, I +therefore preferred not to tell my sins to any one else; and this +course I found was preferred by others for the same good reasons. + +To Jane Ray, however, it sometimes appeared to be a matter of perfect +indifference, who knew her violations of rule, or to what penances she +exposed herself. + +Often and often, while perfect silence prevailed among the nuns, at +meditation, or while nothing was to be heard except the voice of the +reader appointed for the day, no matter whose life or writings were +presented for our contemplations, Jane would break forth with some +remark or question, that would attract general attention, and often +cause a long and total interruption. Sometimes she would make some +harmless remark or inquiry aloud, as if through mere inadvertency, and +then her well-known voice, so strongly associated with every thing +singular and ridiculous, would arrest the attention of us all, and +generally incline us to smile, and even force us to laugh. The Superior +would then usually utter some hasty remonstrance, and many a time have +I heard her pronounce some penance upon her; but Jane had ever some +apology ready, or some reply calculated to irritate still farther, or +to prove to every one, that no punishment would be effectual on her. +Sometimes this singular woman would appear to be actuated by opposite +feelings and motives; for although she usually delighted in drawing +others into difficulty, and has thrown many a severe penance even upon +her greatest favourites; on other occasions she appeared totally +regardless of consequences herself, and preferred to take all the +blame, anxious only to shield others. + +I have repeatedly known her to break silence in the community, as if +she had no object, or none beyond that of causing disturbance, or +exciting a smile, and as soon as it was noticed, exclaim: "Say it's me, +say it's me!" + +Sometimes she would even expose herself to punishments in place of +another who was guilty; and thus I found it difficult fully to +understand her. In some cases she seemed decidedly out of her wits, as +the Superior and priests commonly preferred to represent her; but +generally I saw in her what prevented me from accounting her insane. + +Among her most common tricks were such as these: She gave me the name +of the "Devout English Reader," because I was often appointed to make +the lecture to the English girls; and sometimes, after taking a seat +near me, under pretence of deafness, would whisper it in my hearing, +because she knew my want of self-command when excited to laughter. Thus +she often exposed me to penances for a breach of decorum, and set me to +biting my lips, to avoid laughing outright in the midst of a solemn +lecture. "Oh! you devout English Reader!" would sometimes come upon me +suddenly from her lips, with something in it so ludicrous that I had to +exert myself to the utmost to avoid observation. + +This came so often at one time, that I grew uneasy, and told her I must +confess it, to unburden my conscience; I had not done so before, +because she would complain of me, for giving way to temptation. + +Sometimes she would pass behind us as we stood at dinner ready to sit +down, and softly moving back our chairs, leave us to fall down upon the +floor. This she repeatedly has done; and While we were laughing +together, she would spring forward, kneel to the Superior, and beg her +pardon and a penance. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports +made to friends of St. Francis. + + +But I must now come to one deed, in which I had some part, and which I +look back upon with greater horror and pain, than any occurrences in +the Convent, in which I was not the principal sufferer. It is not +necessary for me to attempt to excuse myself in this or any other case. +Those who have any disposition to judge fairly, will exercise their own +judgment in making allowances for me, under the fear and force, the +commands and examples, around me. I, therefore, shall confine myself, +as usual, to the simple narrative of facts. The time was about five +months after I took the veil; the weather was cool, perhaps in +September or October. One day, the Superior sent for me and several +other nuns, to receive her commands at a particular room. We found the +Bishop and some priests with her; and speaking in an unusual tone of +fierceness and authority, she said, "Go to the room for the Examination +of Conscience, and drag Saint Francis up-stairs." Nothing more was +necessary than this unusual command, with the tone and manner which, +accompanied it, to excite in me most gloomy anticipation. It did not +strike me as strange, that St. Francis should be in the room to which +the Superior directed us. It was an apartment to which we were often +sent to prepare for the communion, and to which we voluntarily went, +whenever we felt the compunctions which our ignorance of duty, and the +misinstructions we received, inclined us to seek relief from +self-reproach. Indeed, I had seen her there a little before. What +terrified me was, first, the Superior's angry manner, second, the +expression she used, being a French term, whose [illegible] we had +learnt in the Convent, and whose meaning is rather softened when +translated into _drag_; third, the place to which we were directed to +take the interesting young nun, and the persons assembled there as I +supposed to condemn her. My fears were such, concerning the fate that +awaited her, and my horror at the idea that she was in some way to be +sacrificed, that I would have given any thing to be allowed to stay +where I was. But I feared the consequence of disobeying the Superior, +and proceeded with the rest towards the room for the examination of +conscience. + +The room to which we were to proceed from that, was in the second +story, and the place of many a scene of a shameful nature. It is +sufficient for me to say, after what I have said in other parts of this +book, that things had there occurred which made me regard the place +with the greatest disgust Saint Francis had appeared melancholy for +some time. I well knew that she had cause, for she had been repeatedly +subject to trials which I need not name--our common lot. When we +reached the room where we had been bidden to seek her, I entered the +door, my companions standing behind me, as the place was so small as +hardly to hold five persons at a time. The young nun was standing alone +near the middle of the room; she was probably about twenty, with light +hair, blue eyes, and a very fair complexion. I spoke to her in a +compassionate voice, but at the same time with such a decided manner, +that she comprehended my full meaning-- + +"Saint Francis, we are sent for you." + +Several others spoke kindly to her, but two addressed her very harshly. +The poor creature turned round with a look of meekness, and without +expressing any unwillingness or fear, without even speaking a word, +resigned herself to our hands. The tears came into my eyes. I had not a +moment's doubt that she considered her fate as sealed, and was already +beyond the fear of death. She was conducted, or rather hurried to the +staircase, which was near by, and then seized by her limbs and clothes, +and in fact almost dragged up-stairs, in the sense the Superior had +intended. I laid my own hands upon her--I took hold of her too,--more +gentle indeed than some of the rest; yet I encouraged and assisted them +in carrying her. I could not avoid it. My refusal would not have saved +her, nor prevented her being carried up; it would only have exposed me +to some severe punishment, as I believed some of my companions, would +have seized the first opportunity to complain of me. + +All the way up the staircase, Saint Francis spoke not a word, nor made +the slightest resistance. When we entered with her the room to which +she was ordered, my heart sank within me. The Bishop, the Lady +Superior, and five priests, viz. Bonin, Richards, Savage, and two +others, I now ascertained, were assembled for her trial, on some charge +of great importance. + +When we had brought our prisoner before them, Father Richards began to +question her, and she made ready but calm replies. I cannot pretend to +give a connected account of what ensued: my feelings were wrought up to +such a pitch, that I knew not what I did, nor what to do. I was under a +terrible apprehension that, if I betrayed my feelings which almost +overcame me, I should fall under the displeasure of the cold-blooded +persecutors of my poor innocent sister; and this fear on the one hand, +with the distress I felt for her on the other, rendered me almost +frantic. As soon as I entered the room, I had stepped into a corner, on +the left of the entrance, where I might partially support myself, by +leaning against the wall, between the door and window. This support was +all that prevented me from falling to the floor, for the confusion of +my thoughts was so great, that only a few of the words I heard spoken +on either side made any lasting impression upon me. I felt as if struck +with some insupportable blow; and death would not have been more +frightful to me. I am inclined to the belief, that Father Richards +wished to shield the poor prisoner from the severity of her fate, by +drawing from her expressions that might bear a favorable construction. +He asked her, among other things, if she was not sorry for what she had +been overheard to say, (for she had been betrayed by one of the nuns,) +and if she would not prefer confinement in the cells, to the punishment +which was threatened her. But the Bishop soon interrupted him, and it +was easy to perceive, that he considered her fate as sealed, and was +determined she should not escape. In reply to some of the questions put +to her, she was silent; to others I heard her voice reply that she did +not repent of words she had uttered, though they had been reported by +some of the nuns who had heard them; that she still wished to escape +from the Convent; and that she had firmly resolved to resist every +attempt to compel her to the commission of crimes which she detested. +She added, that she would rather die than cause the murder of harmless +babes. + +"That is enough, finish her!" said the Bishop. + +Two nuns instantly fell upon the young woman, and in obedience to +directions, given by the Superior, prepared to execute her sentence. + +She still maintained all the calmness and submission of a lamb. Some of +those who took part in this transaction, I believe, were as unwilling +as myself; but of others I can safely say, that I believe they +delighted in it. Their conduct certainly exhibited a most blood-thirsty +spirit. But, above all others present, and above all human fiends I +ever saw, I think Sainte Hypolite was the most diabolical. She engaged +in the horrid task with all alacrity, and assumed from choice the most +revolting parts to be performed. She seized a gag, forced it into the +mouth of the poor nun, and when it was fixed between her extended jaws, +so as to keep them open at their greatest possible distance, took hold +of the straps fastened at each end of the stick, crossed them behind +the helpless head of the victim, and drew them tight through the loop +prepared, as a fastening. + +The bed which had always stood in one part of the room, still remained +there; though the screen, which had usually been placed before it, and +was made of thick muslin, with only a crevice through which a person +behind might look out, had been folded up on its hinges in the form of +a W, and placed in a corner. On the bed the prisoner was laid with her +face upward, and then bound with cords, so that she could not move. In +an instant another bed was thrown upon her. One of the priests, named +Bonin, sprung like a fury first upon it, and stamped upon it, with all +his force. He was speedily followed by the nuns, until there were as +many upon the bed as could find room, and all did what they could, not +only to smother, but to bruise her. Some stood up and jumped upon the +poor girl with their feet, some with their knees, and others in +different ways seemed to seek how they might best beat the breath out +of her body, and mangle it, without coming in direct contact with it, +or seeing the effects of their violence. During this time, my feelings +were almost too strong to be endured. I felt stupefied, and was +scarcely conscious of what I did. Still, fear for myself remained in a +sufficient degree to induce me to some exertion, and I attempted to +talk to those who stood next, partly that I might have an excuse for +turning away from the dreadful scene. + +After the lapse of fifteen or twenty minutes, and when it was presumed +that the sufferer had been smothered, and crushed to death, Father +Bonin and the nuns ceased to trample upon her, and stepped from the +bed. All was motionless and silent beneath it. + +They then began to laugh at such inhuman thoughts as occurred to some +of them, rallying each other in the most unfeeling manner, and +ridiculing me for the feelings which I in vain endeavoured to conceal. +They alluded to the resignation of our murdered companion, and one of +them tauntingly said, "She would have made a good Catholic martyr." +After spending some moments in such conversation, one of them asked if +the corpse should be removed. The Superior said it had better remain a +little while. After waiting a short time longer, the feather-bed was +taken off, the cords unloosed, and the body taken by the nuns and +dragged down stairs. I was informed that it was taken into the cellar, +and thrown unceremoniously into the hole which I have already +described, covered with a great quantity of lime, and afterwards +sprinkled with a liquid, of the properties and name of which I am +ignorant. This liquid I have seen poured into the hole from large +bottles, after the necks were broken off, and have heard that it is +used in France to prevent the effluvia rising from cemeteries. + +I did not soon recover from the shock caused by this scene; indeed it +still recurs to me, with most gloomy impressions. The next day there +was a melancholy aspect over everything, and recreation time passed in +the dullest manner; scarcely anything was said above a whisper. + +I never heard much said afterward about Saint Francis. + +I spoke with one of the nuns, a few words, one day, but we were all +cautioned not to expose ourselves very far, and could not place much +reliance in each other. The murdered nun had been brought to her +shocking end through the treachery of one of our number, in whom she +confided. + +I never knew with certainty who had reported her remarks to the +Superior, but suspicion fastened on one, and I never could regard her +but with detestation. + +I was more inclined to blame her than some of those employed in the +execution; for there could have been no necessity for the betrayal of +her feelings. We all knew how to avoid exposing each other. + +I was often sent by the Superior to overhear what was said by novices +and nuns: when they seemed to shun her, she would say, "Go and listen, +they are speaking English;" and though I obeyed her, I never informed +her against them. If I wished to clear my conscience, I would go to a +priest, and confess, knowing that he dared not communicate what I said +to any person, and that he would not impose as heavy penances as the +Superior. + +We were always at liberty to choose another confessor when we had any +sin to confess, which we were unwilling to tell one to whom we should +otherwise have gone. + +Not long after the murder just related, a young woman came to the +nunnery, and asked for permission to see Saint Francis. It was my +former friend, with whom I had been an assistant teacher, Miss Louise +Bousquet, of St. Denis. From this, I supposed the murdered nun might +have come from that town, or its vicinity. The only answer returned to +the inquiry was, that Saint Francis was dead. + +Some time afterward, some of St. Francis' friends called to inquire +after her, and they were told that she had died a glorious death; and +further told, that she made some heavenly expressions, which were +repeated in order to satisfy her friends. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in +it--Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples. + + +The pictures in the room of the Three States were large, and painted by +some artist who understood how to make horrible ones. They appeared to +be stuck to the walls. The light is admitted from small and high +windows, which are curtained, and is rather faint, so as to make every +thing look gloomy. The story told us was, that they were painted by an +artist to whom God had given power to represent things exactly they are +in heaven, hell, and purgatory. + +In heaven, the picture of which hangs on one side of the apartment, +multitudes of nuns and priests are put in the highest places, with the +Virgin Mary at the head, St. Peter and other saints far above the great +numbers of good Catholics of other classes, who were crowded in below. + +In purgatory are multitudes of people; and in one part, called "_The +place of lambs_," are infants who died unbaptized. "_The place of +darkness_," is that part of purgatory in which adults are collected; +and there they are surrounded with flames, waiting to be delivered by +the prayers of the living. + +In hell, the picture of which, and that of purgatory, were on the wall +opposite that of heaven, the human faces were the most horrible that +can be imagined. Persons of different descriptions were represented, +with the most distorted features, ghastly complexions, and every +variety of dreadful expression; some with wild beasts gnawing at their +heads, others furiously biting the iron bars which kept them in, with +looks which could not fail to make a spectator shudder. + +I could hardly persuade myself that the figures were not living, and +the impression they made on my feelings was powerful. I was often shown +the place where nuns go who break their vows, as a warning. It is the +hottest place in hell, and worse, in every point of view, even than +that to which Protestants are assigned; because they are not so much to +be blamed, as we were sometimes assured, as their ministers and the +Bible, by which they are perverted. + +Whenever I was shut in that room, as I was several times, I prayed for +"les âmes des fidèles trépassés:" the souls of those faithful ones who +have long been in purgatory, and have no relations living to pray for +them. + +My feelings were often of the most painful description, while I +remained alone with those frightful pictures. + +Jane Ray was once put in, and uttered the most dreadful shrieks. Some +of the old nuns proposed to the Superior to have her gagged: "No" she +replied; "go and let out that devil, she makes me sin more than all the +rest." + +Jane could not endure the place; and she afterward gave names to many +of the worst figures in the pictures. On catechism-days she would take +a seat behind a cupboard-door, where the priest could not see her, +while she faced the nuns, and would make us laugh. "You are not so +attentive to your lesson as you used to be," he would begin to say, +while we were endeavouring to suppress our laughter. + +Jane would then hold up the first letter of some priest's name, whom +she had before compared with one of the faces in "hell," and look so +that we could hardly preserve our gravity. I remember she named the +wretch who was biting at the bars of hell, with a serpent gnawing his +head, with chains and padlocks on, Father Dufresne; and she would +say--"Does not he look like him, when he comes in to Catechism with his +long solemn face, and begins his speeches with, 'My children, my hope +is, you have lived very devout lives?'" + +The first time I went to confession after taking the veil, I found +abundant evidence that the priests did not treat even that ceremony, +which is called a solemn sacrament, with respect enough to lay aside +the detestable and shameless character they so often showed on other +occasions. The confessor sometimes sat in the room of examination of +conscience, and sometimes in the Superior's room, and always alone, +except the nun who was confessing. He had a common chair placed in the +middle of the floor, and instead of being placed behind a grate, or +lattice, as in the chapel, had nothing before or around him. There were +no spectators to observe him, and of course any such thing would have +been unnecessary. + +A number of nuns usually confessed on the same day, but only one could +be admitted into the room at the time. They took their places just +without the door, on their knees, and went through the preparation +prescribed by the rules of confession; repeating certain prayers, which +always occupy a considerable time. When one was ready, she rose from +her knees, entered, and closed the door behind her; and no other one +even dared touch the latch until she came out. + +I shall not tell what was transacted at such times, under the pretence +of confessing, and receiving absolution from sin: far more guilt was +often incurred than pardoned; and crimes of a deep die were committed, +while trifling irregularities, in childish ceremonies, were treated as +serious offences. I cannot persuade myself to speak plainly on such a +subject, as I must offend the virtuous ear. I can only say, that +suspicion cannot do any injustice to the priests, because their sins +cannot be exaggerated. + +Some idea may be formed of the manner in which even such women as many +of my sister nuns were regarded the confessors, when I state, that +there was often a contest among us, to avoid entering the apartment as +long as we could, endeavouring to make each other go first, as that was +what most of us dreaded. + +During the long and tedious days, which filled up the time between the +occurrences I have mentioned, nothing, or little took place to keep up +our spirits. We were fatigued in body with labour, or with sitting, +debilitated by the long continuance of our religious exercises, and +depressed in feelings by our miserable and hopeless condition. Nothing +but the humors of mad Jane Ray, could rouse us for a moment from our +languor and melancholy. + +To mention all her devices, would require more room than is here +allowed, and a memory of almost all her words and actions for years. I +had early become a favourite with her, and had opportunity to learn +more of her character than most of the other nuns. As this may be best +learnt from hearing what she did, I will here recount a few of her +tricks, just as they happen to present themselves to my memory, without +regard to the order of time. + +She one day, in an unaccountable humour, sprinkled the floor +plentifully with holy water, which brought upon her a severe lecture +from the Superior, as might have been expected. The Superior said it +was a heinous offence; she had wasted holy water enough to save many +souls from purgatory; and what would they not give for it! She then +ordered Jane to sit in the middle of the floor, and when the priest +came, he was informed of her offence. Instead, however, of imposing one +of those penances to which she had often been subjected, but with so +little effect, he said to her, "Go to your place, Jane; we forgive you +for this time." + +I was once set to iron aprons with Jane; aprons and +pocket-handkerchiefs are the only articles of dress which are ever +ironed in the Convent. As soon as we were alone, she remarked, "Well, +we are free from the rules, while we are at this work;" and although +she knew she had no reason for saying so, she began to sing, and I soon +joined her, and thus we spent the time, while we were at work, to the +neglect of the prayers we ought to have said. + +We had no idea that we were in danger of being overheard, but it +happened that the Superior was overhead all the time, with several +nuns, who were preparing for confession: she came down and said, "How +is this?" Jane Ray coolly replied, that we had employed our time in +singing hymns, and referred to me. I was afraid to confirm so direct a +falsehood, in order to deceive the Superior, though I had often told +more injurious ones of her fabrication, or at her orders, and said very +little in reply to Jane's request. + +The Superior plainly saw the trick that was attempted, and ordered us +both to the room for the examination of conscience, where we remained +till night, without a mouthful to eat. The time was not, however, +unoccupied; I received such a lecture from Jane, as I have very seldom +heard, and she was so angry with me that we did not speak to each other +for two weeks. + +At length she found something to complain of against me, had me +subjected to a penance, which led to our begging each other's pardon, +and we became perfectly satisfied, reconciled, and as good friends as +ever. + +One of the most disgusting penances we ever had to submit to, was that +of drinking the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Nobody +could ever laugh at this penance except Jane Ray. She would pretend to +comfort us, by saying, she was sure it was better than mere plain, +clear water. + +Some of the tricks which I remember, were played by Jane with nuns' +clothes. It was a rule that the oldest aprons in use should go to the +youngest received, and the old nuns were to wear all the new ones. On +four different occasions, Jane stole into the sleeping-room at night, +and unobserved by the watch, changed a great part of the aprons, +placing them by the beds of nuns to whom they did not belong. The +consequence was, that in the morning they dressed themselves in such +haste, as never to discover the mistakes they made, until they were all +ranged at prayers; and then the ridiculous appearance which many of +them cut, disturbed the long devotions. I laugh so easily, that on such +occasions, I usually incurred a full share of penances, I generally, +however, got a new apron, when Jane played this trick; for it was part +of her object, to give the best aprons to her favourites, and put off +the ragged ones on some of the old nuns whom she most hated. + +Jane once lost her pocket-handkerchief. The penance for such an offence +is, to go without any for five weeks. For this she had no relish, and +requested me to pick one from some of the nuns on the way up-stairs. I +succeeded in getting two: this Jane said was one too many; and she +thought it dangerous for either of us to keep it, lest a search should +be made. Very soon the two nuns were complaining that they had lost +their handkerchiefs, and wondering what could have become of them, as +they were sure that they had been careful. Jane seized an opportunity, +and slipped one into a straw bed, where it remained until the bed was +emptied to be filled with new straw. + +As the winter was coming on, one year, she complained to me that we +were not as well supplied with warm night-clothes as two of the nuns +she named, whom she said she "abominated." She soon after found means +to get possession of their fine warm flannel nightgowns, one of which +she gave to me, while the other she put on at bed time. She presumed +the owners would have a secret search for them; and in the morning hid +them in the stove, after the fire had gone out, which was kindled a +little before the hour of rising, and then suffered to burn down. + +This she did every morning, taking them out at night, through the +winter. The poor nuns who owned the garments were afraid to complain of +their loss, lest they should have some penance laid on them, and +nothing was ever said about them. When the weather began to grow warm +in the spring Jane returned the nightgowns to the beds of the nuns, +from whom she had borrowed them, and they were probably as much +surprised to find them again, as they had before been at losing them. + +Jane once found an opportunity to fill her apron with a quantity of +fine apples, called _fameuses_, which came in her way, and, hastening +up to the sleeping-room, hid them under my bed. Then, coming down, she +informed me, and we agreed to apply for leave to make our elevens, as +it is called. The meaning of this is, to repeat a certain round of +prayers, for nine days in succession, to some saint we choose to +address for assistance, in becoming more charitable, affectionate or +something else. We easily obtained permission, and hastened up-stairs +to begin our nine days' feast on the apples; when, much to our +surprise, they had all been taken away, and there was no way to avoid +the disagreeable fate we had brought upon ourselves. Jane therefore +began to search the beds of the other nuns; but not finding any trace +of the apples, she became doubly vexed and stuck pins in those which +belonged to her enemies. + +When bedtime came, they were much scratched in getting in bed, which +made them break silence, and that subjected them to penances. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick +Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of +her Tricks--Feigned Humility--Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made +by stratagem. + + +One night, Jane, who had been sweeping the sleeping-room, for a +penance, dressed up the broom-stick, when she had completed her work, +with a white cloth on the end, so tied as to resemble an old woman +dressed in white, with long arms sticking out. This she stuck through a +broken pane of glass, and placed it so that it appeared to be looking +in at the window, by the font of holy water. There it remained until +the nuns came up to bed. The first who stopped at the font, to dip her +finger in, caught a glimpse of the singular object, and started with +terror. The next was equally terrified, as she approached, and the next +and the next. + +We all believed in ghosts; and it was not wonderful that such an object +should cause alarm, especially as it was but a short time after the +death of one of the nuns. Thus they went on, each getting a fright in +turn, yet all afraid to speak. At length, one more alarmed, or with +less presence of mind than the rest, exclaimed, "Oh, mon Dieu! Je ne me +coucherais pas!" When the night-watch called out, "Who's that?" she +confessed she had broken silence, but pointed at the cause; and then, +all the nuns assembling at a distance from the window, Jane offered to +advance boldly, and ascertain the nature of the apparition, which they +thought a most resolute intention. We all stood looking on, when she +stepped to the window, drew in the broomstick, and showed us the +ridiculous puppet, which had alarmed so many superstitious fears. + +Some of her greatest feats she performed as a sleep walker. Whether she +ever walked in her sleep or not, I am unable with certainty, to say. +She however often imposed upon the Superior and old nuns, by making +them think so, when I knew she did not; and yet, I cannot positively +say that she always did. I have remarked, that one of the old nuns was +always placed in our sleeping-room at night, to watch us. Sometimes she +would be inattentive, and sometimes fall into a doze. Jane Ray often +seized such times to rise from her bed, and walk about, occasionally +seizing one of the nuns in bed, in order to frighten her. This she +generally affected; and many times we have all been awakened, by +screams of terror. In our alarm, some of us frequently broke silence, +and gave occasion to the Superior to lay us under penances. Many tunes, +however, we escaped with a mere reprimand, while Jane usually received +expressions of compassion:--"Poor creature! she would not do so if she +were in perfect possession of her reason." And Jane displayed her +customary artfulness, in keeping up the false impression. As soon as +she perceived that the old nun was likely to observe her, she would +throw her arms about, or appear unconscious of what she was doing, +falling upon a bed, or standing stock-still, until exertions had been +made to rouse her from her supposed lethargy. + +We were once allowed to drink cider at dinner, which was quite an +extraordinary favour. Jane, however, on account of her negligence of +all work, was denied the privilege, which she much resented. The next +day when dinner arrived, we began to taste our new drink, but it was so +salt we could not swallow it. Those of us who at first discovered it, +were, as usual, afraid to speak; but we set down our cups, and looked +round, till the others made the same discovery, which they all soon +did, and most of them in the same manner. Some, however, at length, +taken by surprise, uttered some ludicrous exclamation, on tasting the +salted cider, and then an old nun, looking cross, would cry out:-- + +"Ah! tu casses la silence!" (Ah! you've broken silence.) + +And thus we soon got a-laughing, beyond our power of suppressing it. At +recreation, that day, the first question asked by many of us, was, "How +did you like your cider?" + +Jane Ray never had a fixed place to sleep in. When the weather began to +grow warm in the spring, she usually pushed some bed out of its place, +near a window, and put her own beside it; and when the winter +approached, she would choose a spot near the stove, and occupy it with +her bed, in spite of all remonstrance. We were all convinced that it +was generally best to yield to her. + +She was often set to work, in different ways; but, whenever she was +dissatisfied with doing any thing, would devise some trick that would +make the Superior, or old nuns, drive her off; and whenever any +suspicion was expressed, of her being in her right mind, she would say, +that she did not know what she was doing; that all the difficulty arose +from her repeating prayers too much, which wearied and distracted her +mind. + +I was once directed to assist Jane Ray, in shifting the beds of the +nuns. When we came to those of some of the sisters, whom she most +disliked, she said, now we will pay them for some of the penances we +have suffered on their account; and taking some thistles, she mixed +them with the straw. At night, the first of them who got into bed, felt +the thistles, and cried out. The night-watch exclaimed, as usual, "You +are breaking silence there." And then another screamed, as she was +scratched by the thistles and another. The old nun then called on all +who had broken silence to rise, and ordered them to sleep under their +beds, as a penance, which they silently complied with. Jane and I +afterward confessed, when it was all over, and took some trifling +penance which the priest imposed. + +Those nuns who fell most under the displeasure of mad Jane Ray, as I +have intimated before, were those who had the reputation of being most +ready to inform of the trifling faults of others and especially those +who acted without any regard to honour, by disclosing what they had +pretended to listen to in confidence. Several of the worst tempered +"saints" she held in abhorrence; and I have heard her say, that such +and such, she abominated. Many a trick did she play upon these, some of +which were painful to them in their consequences, and a good number of +them have never been traced to this day. Of all the nuns, however, none +other was regarded by her with so much detestation as Saint Hypolite; +for she was always believed to have betrayed Saint Francis, and to have +caused her murder. She was looked upon by us as the voluntary cause of +her death, and of the crime which those of us committed, who, +unwillingly, took part in her execution. We, on the contrary, being +under the worst of fears for ourselves, in case of refusing to obey our +masters and mistress, thought ourselves chargeable with less guilt, as +unwilling assistants in a scene, which it was impossible for us to +prevent or delay. Jane has often spoken to me of the suspected +informer, and always in terms of the greatest bitterness. + +The Superior sometimes expressed commiseration for mad Jane Ray, but I +never could tell whether she really believed her insane or not. I was +always inclined to think that she was willing to put up with some of +her tricks, because they served to divert our minds from the painful +and depressing circumstances in which we were placed. I knew the +Superior's powers and habits of deception also, and that she would +deceive us as willingly as any one else. + +Sometimes she proposed to send Jane to St. Anne's, a place near Quebec, +celebrated for the pilgrimages made to it by persons differently +afflicted. It is supposed that some peculiar virtue exists there, which +will restore health to the sick; and I have heard stories told in +corroboration of the common belief. Many lame and blind persons, with +others, visit St. Anne's every year, some of whom may be seen +travelling on foot, and begging their food. The Superior would +sometimes say that it was a pity that a woman like Jane Ray, capable of +being so useful, should be unable to do her duties in consequence of a +malady which she thought might be cured by a visit to St Anne's. + +Yet to St. Anne's Jane never was sent, and her wild and various tricks +continued as before. The rules of silence, which the others were so +scrupulous in observing, she set at naught every hour; and as for other +rules, she regarded them with as little respect when they stood in her +way. She would now and then step out and stop the clock by which our +exercises were regulated, and sometimes, in this manner, lengthened out +our recreations till near twelve. At last the old nuns began to watch +against such a trick, and would occasionally go out to see if the clock +was going. + +She once made a request that she might not eat with the other nuns, +which was granted, as it seemed to proceed from a spirit of genuine +humility, which made her regard herself as unworthy of our society. + +It being most convenient, she was sent to the Superior's table to make +her meals after her; and it did not at first occur to the Superior, +that Jane, in this manner, profited by the change, by getting much +better food than the rest of us. Thus there seemed to be always +something deeper than anybody at first suspected, at the bottom of +everything she did. + +She was once directed to sweep a community-room, under the +sleeping-chamber. This office had before been assigned to the other +nuns, as a penance; but the Superior, considering that Jane Ray did +little or nothing, determined thus to furnish her with some employment. + +She declared to us that she would not sweep it long, as we might soon +be assured. It happened that the stove by which that community-room was +warmed in the winter, had its pipe carried through the floor of our +sleeping-chamber, and thence across it, in a direction opposite that in +which the pipe of our stove was carried. It being then warm weather, +the first-mentioned pipe had been taken down, and the hole left +unstopped. After we had all retired to our beds, and while engaged in +our silent prayers, we were suddenly alarmed by a bright blaze of fire, +which burst from the hole in the floor, and threw sparks all around us. +We thought the building was burning, and uttered cries of terror +regardless of the penances, the fear of which generally kept us silent. + +The utmost confusion prevailed; for although we had solemnly vowed +never to flee from the Convent even if it was on fire, we were +extremely alarmed, and could not repress our feelings. We soon learnt +the cause, for the flames ceased in a moment or two, and it was found +that mad Jane Ray, after sweeping a little in the room beneath, had +stuck a quantity of wet powder on the end of her broom, thrust it up +through the hole in the ceiling into our apartment, and with a lighted +paper set it on fire. + +The date of this alarm I must refer to a time soon after that of the +election riots, for I recollect that she found means to get possession +of some of the powder which was prepared at that time, for an emergency +to which some thought the Convent was exposed. + +She once asked for pen and paper, and when the Superior told her that +if she wrote to her friends she must see it, she replied, that it was +for no such purpose; she wanted to write her confession, and thus make +it once for all. She wrote it, handed it to the priest, and he gave it +to the Superior, who read it to us. It was full of offences which she +had never committed, evidently written to throw ridicule on +confessions, and one of the most ludicrous productions I ever saw. + +Our bedsteads were made with narrow boards laid across them, on which +the beds were laid. One day, while we were in the bedchamber together, +she proposed that we should misplace these boards. This was done, so +that at night nearly a dozen nuns fell down upon the floor on getting +into bed. A good deal of confusion naturally ensued, but the authors +were not discovered. I was so conscience-stricken, however, that a week +afterward, while we examined our consciences together, I told her I +must confess the sin the next day. She replied, "Do as you like, but +you will be sorry for it." + +The next day, when we came before the Superior, I was just going to +kneel and confess, when Jane, almost without giving me time to shut the +door, threw herself at the Superior's feet, and confessed the trick, +and a penance was immediately laid on me for the sin I had concealed. + +There was an old nun, who was a famous talker, whom used to call La +Mère, (Mother). One night, Jane Ray got up, and secretly changed the +caps of several of the nuns, and hers among the rest. In the morning +there was great confusion, and such a scene as seldom occurred. She was +severely blamed by La Mère, having been informed against by some of the +nuns; and at last became so much enraged, that she attacked the old +woman, and even took her by the throat. La Mère called on all present +to come to her assistance, and several nuns interfered. Jane seized the +opportunity afforded in the confusion to beat some of her worst enemies +quite severely, and afterwards said, that she had intended to kill some +of the rascally informers. + +For a time Jane made us laugh so much at prayers, that the Superior +forbade her going down with us to morning prayers, and she took the +opportunity to sleep in the morning. When this was found out, she was +forbidden to get into her bed again after leaving it, and then she +would creep under it and take a nap on the floor. This she told us of +one day, but threatened us if we ever betrayed her. At length, she was +missed at breakfast, as she would sometimes oversleep herself, and the +Superior began to be more strict, and always inquired, in the morning +whether Jane Ray was in her place. When the question was general, none +of us answered; but when it was addressed to some nun near her by name, +as, "Saint Eustace, is Jane Ray in her place?" then we had to reply. + +Of all the scenes that occurred during my stay in the Convent, there +was none which excited the delight of Jane more than one which took +place in the chapel one day at mass, though I never had any particular +reason to suppose that she had brought it about. + +Some person, unknown to me to this day, had put some substance or +other, of a most nauseous smell, into the hat of a little boy, who +attended at the altar, and he, without observing the trick, put it upon +his head. In the midst of the ceremonies he approached some of the +nuns, who were almost suffocated with the odour; and as he occasionally +moved from place to place some of them began to beckon to him to stand +further off, and to hold their noses, with looks of disgust. The boy +was quite unconscious of the cause of the difficulty, and paid them no +attention; but the confusion soon became so great, through the distress +of some, and the laughing of others, that the Superior noticed the +circumstance, and beckoned to the boy to withdraw. All attempts, +however, to engage us in any work, prayer, or meditation, were found +ineffectual. Whenever the circumstances in the chapel came to mind, we +would laugh out. We had got into such a state, that we could not easily +restrain ourselves. The Superior, yielding to necessity, allowed us +recreation for the whole day. + +The Superior used sometimes to send Jane to instruct the novices in +their English prayers. She would proceed to her task with all +seriousness; but sometimes chose the most ridiculous, as well as +irreverent passages, from songs, and other things, which she had before +somewhere learnt, which would set us, who understood her, laughing. One +of her rhymes, I recollect, began with: + + "The Lord of love, look from above, + Upon this turkey hen." + +Jane for a time slept opposite me, and often in the night would rise, +unobserved, and slip into my bed, to talk with me, which she did in a +low whisper, and return again with equal caution. + +She would tell me of the tricks she had played, and such as she +meditated, and sometimes make me laugh so loud, that I had much to do +in the morning with begging pardons, and doing penances. + +One winter's day, she was sent to light a fire; but after she had done +so, remarked privately to some of us: "My fingers were too cold--you'll +see if I do it again." The next day, there was a great stir in the +house, because it was said that mad Jane Ray had been seized with a fit +while making a fire, and she was taken up apparently insensible, and +conveyed to her bed. She complained to me, who visited her in the +course of the day, that she was likely to starve, as food was denied +her; and I was persuaded to pin a stocking under my dress, and secretly +put food into it from the table. This I afterward carried to her and +relieved her wants. + +One of the things which I blamed Jane most for, was a disposition to +quarrel with any nun who seemed to be winning the favour of the +Superior. She would never rest until she had brought such a one into +some difficulty. + +We were allowed but little soap; and Jane, when she found her supply +nearly gone, would take the first piece she could find. One day there +was a general search made for a large piece that was missed; when, soon +after I had been searched, Jane Ray passed me and slipped it into my +pocket; she was soon after searched herself and then secretly came for +it again. + +While I recall these particulars of our nunnery, and refer so often to +the conduct and language of one of the nuns, I cannot speak of some +things which I believed or suspected, on account of my want of +sufficient knowledge. But it is a pity you have not Jane Ray for a +witness; she knows many things of which I am ignorant. She must be in +possession of facts that should be known. Her long residence in the +Convent, her habits of roaming about it, and of observing every thing, +must have made her acquainted with things which would be heard with +interest. I always felt as if she knew everything. She would often go +and listen, or look through the cracks into the Superior's room, while +any of the priests were closeted with her, and sometimes would come and +tell me what she witnessed. I felt myself bound to confess in such +cases, and always did so. + +She knew, however, that I only told it to the priest or to the +Superior, and without mentioning the name of my informant, which I was +at liberty to withhold, so that she was not found out. I often said to +her, "Don't tell me, Jane, for I must confess it." She would reply: + +"It is better for you to confess it than for me." I thus became, even +against my will, informed of scenes, supposed by the actors of them to +be secret. + +Jane Ray once persuaded me to accompany her into the Superior's room, +to hide with her under the sofa, and await the appearance of a visitor +whom she expected, that we might overhear what passed between them. We +had been long concealed, when the Superior came in alone and sat for +some time, when fearing she might detect us in the stillness which +prevailed, we began to repent of our temerity. At length however, she +suddenly withdrew, and thus afforded us a welcome opportunity to escape. + +I was passing one day through a part of the cellar, where I had not +often occasion to go, when the toe of my shoe hit something. I tripped +and fell down. I rose again, and holding my lamp to see what had caused +my fall, I found an iron ring, fastened to a small square trapdoor. +This I had the curiosity to raise, and saw four or five steps leading +down, but there was not light enough to see more, and I feared to be +noticed by somebody and reported to the Superior; so closing the door +again, I left the spot. At first, I could not imagine the use for such +a passage; but it afterward occurred to me, that this might open to the +subterranean passage to the Seminary, for I never before could account +for the appearance of many of the priests, who often appeared and +disappeared among us, particularly at night, when I knew the gates were +closed. They could, as I now saw, come up to the door of the Superior's +room at any hour, then up the stairs into our sleeping-room, or where +they chose. And often they were in our beds before us. + +I afterward ascertained that my conjectures were correct, and that a +secret communication was kept up, in this manner, between the two +institutions, at the end towards Notre Dame-street, at a considerable +depth under ground. I often afterward, met priests in the cellar, when +sent there for coal and other articles, as they had to pass up and down +the common cellar stairs on their way. + +My wearisome daily prayers and labours, my pain of body, and depression +of mind which were so much increased by penances I had suffered, and +those which I constantly feared, and the feelings of shame, remorse, +and horror, which sometimes arose, brought me into a state which I +cannot describe. + +In the first place, my frame was enfeebled by the uneasy postures I was +required to keep for so long a time during prayers. This alone I +thought was sufficient to undermine my health and destroy my life. An +hour and a half every morning I had to sit on the floor of the +community-room, with my feet under me, my body bent forward, and my +head hanging on one side--in a posture expressive of great humility, it +is true, but very fatiguing to keep for such an unreasonable length of +time. Often I found it impossible to avoid falling asleep in this +posture, which I could do without detection, by bending a little lower +than usually. The signal to rise, or the noise made by the rising of +the other nuns, then woke me, and I got up with the rest unobserved. + +Before we took the posture just described, we had to kneel for a long +time without bending the body, keeping quite erect, with the exception +of the knees only, with the hands together before the breast. This I +found the most distressing attitude for me, and never assumed it +without feeling a sharp pain in my chest, which I often thought would +soon lead me to my grave--that is, to the great common receptacle for +the dead, under the chapel. And this upright kneeling posture we were +obliged to resume as soon as we rose from the half-sitting posture +first mentioned; so that I usually felt myself exhausted and near to +fainting before the conclusion of morning services. + +I found the meditations extremely tedious, and often did I sink into +sleep while we were all seated in silence on the floor. When required +to tell my meditations, as it was thought to be of no great importance +what we said, I sometimes found I had nothing to tell but a dream, and +told that, which passed off very well. + +Jane Ray appeared to be troubled still more than myself with wandering +thoughts; and when blamed for them, would reply, "I begin very well; +but directly I begin to think of some old friend of mine, and my +thoughts go a-wandering from one country to another." + +Sometimes I confessed my falling asleep; and often the priests have +talked to me about the sin of sleeping in time of meditation. At last, +one of them proposed to me to prick myself with a pin, which I have +often done, and so roused myself for a time. + +My close confinement in the Convent, and the want of opportunities to +breathe the open air, might have proved more injurious to me than they +did, had I not employed a part of my time in more active labours than +those of sewing, &c., to which I was chiefly confined. I took part +occasionally in some of the heavy work, as washing, &c. + +The events which I am now to relate, occurred about five months after +my admission into the Convent as a nun; but I cannot fix the time with +precision, as I know not of any thing which took place in the world +about the same period. The circumstance I clearly remember; but, as I +have elsewhere remarked, we were not accustomed to keep any account of +time. + +Information was given to us one day, that another novice was to be +admitted among us; and we were required to remember and mention her +often in our prayers, that she might have faithfulness in the service +of her holy spouse. No information was given us concerning her beyond +this fact: not a word about her age, name, or nation. On all similar +occasions the same course was pursued, and all that the nuns ever +learnt concerning one another was what they might discover by being +together, and which usually amounted to little or nothing. + +When the day of her admission arrived, though I did not witness the +ceremony in the chapel, it was a gratification to us all on one +account, because we were all released from labour, and enjoyed a great +recreation-day. + +Our new sister, when she was introduced to the "holy" society of us +"saints," proved to be young, of about the middle size, and very +good-looking for a Canadian; for I soon ascertained that she was one of +my own countrywomen. The Canadian females are generally not handsome. I +never learnt her name, nor any thing of her history. She had chosen +Saint Martin for her nun name. She was admitted in the morning, and +appeared melancholy all day. This I observed was always the case; and +the remarks made by others, led me to believe that they, and all they +had seen, had felt sad and miserable for a longer or shorter time. Even +the Superior, as it may be recollected, confessed to me that she had +experienced the same feelings when she was received. When bedtime +arrived, she proceeded to the chamber with the rest of us, and was +assigned a bed on the side of the room opposite my own, and a little +beyond. The nuns were all soon in bed, the usual silence ensued, and I +was making my customary mental prayer and composing myself to sleep, +when I heard the most piercing and heart-rending shrieks proceed from +our new comrade. Every nun seemed to rise as if by one impulse, for no +one could hear such sounds, especially in such total silence, without +being greatly excited. A general noise succeeded, for many voices spoke +together, uttering cries of surprise, compassion, or fear. It was in +vain for the night-watch to expect silence: for once we forgot rules +and penances, and gave vent to our feelings, and she could do nothing +but call for the Superior. Strange as it may seem, mad Jane Ray, who +found an opportunity to make herself heard for an instant, uttered an +exclamation in English, which so far from expressing any sympathy for +the sufferer, seemed to betray feelings hardened to the last degree +against conscience and shame. This caused a laugh among some of those +who understood her, and had become hardened to their own trials, and of +course in a great measure to those of others. + +I heard a man's voice mingled with the cries and shrieks of the nun. +Father Quiblier, of the Seminary, I had felt confident, was in the +Superior's room at the time when we retired; and several of the nuns +afterward assured me that it was he. The Superior soon made her +appearance, and in a harsh manner commanded silence. I heard her +threaten gagging her, and then say, "You are no better than anybody +else, and if you do not obey, you shall be sent to the cells." + +One young girl was taken into the Convent during my abode there, under +peculiar circumstances. I was acquainted with the whole affair, as I +was employed to act a part in it. + +Among the novices, was a young lady of about seventeen, the daughter of +an old rich Canadian. She had been remarkable for nothing that I know +of except the liveliness of her disposition. The Superior once +expressed to us a wish to have her take the veil, though the girl +herself had never had any such intention, that I knew of. Why the +Superior wished to receive her, I could only conjecture. One reason +might have been, that she expected to receive a considerable sum from +her father. She was, however, strongly desirous of having the girl in +our community, and one day said: "Let us take her in by a trick, and +tell the old man she felt too humble to take the veil in public." + +Our plans then being laid, the unsuspecting girl was induced by us, in +sport, as we told her, and made her believe, to put on such a splendid +robe as I had worn on my admission, and to pass through some of the +ceremonies of taking the veil. After this, she was seriously informed, +that she was considered as having entered the Convent in earnest, and +must henceforth bury herself to the world, as she would never be +allowed to leave it. We put on her a nun's dress, though she wept, and +refused, and expressed the greatest repugnance. The Superior +threatened, and promised, and flattered, by turns, until the poor girl +had to submit; but her appearance long showed that she was a nun only +by compulsion. + +In obedience to the directions of the Superior, we exerted ourselves to +make her contented, especially when she was first received, when we got +round her, and told her we had felt so for a time, but having since +become acquainted with the happiness of a nun's life, were perfectly +content and would never be willing to leave the Convent. An exception +seemed to be made in her favor, in one respect: for I believe no +criminal attempt was made upon her, until she had been some time an +inmate of the nunnery. + +Soon after her reception, or rather her forcible entry into the +Convent, her father called to make inquiry about his daughter. The +Superior first spoke with him herself, and then called us to repeat her +plausible story, which I did with accuracy. If I had wished to say any +thing else, I never should have dared. + +We told the foolish old man, that his daughter, whom we all loved, had +long desired to become a Nun, but had been too humble to wish to appear +before spectators, and had, at her own desire, been favored with a +private admission into the community. + +The benefit conferred upon himself and his family, by this act of +self-consecration I reminded him, must be truly great and valuable; as +every family which furnishes a priest, or a nun, is justly looked upon +as receiving the peculiar favor of heaven on that account. The old +Canadian firmly believed every word I was forced to tell him, took the +event as a great blessing, and expressed the greatest readiness to pay +more than the customary fee to the Convent. After the interview, he +withdrew, promising soon to return and pay a handsome sum to the +convent, which he performed with all despatch, and the greatest +cheerfulness. The poor girl never heard that her father had taken the +trouble to call to see her, much less did she know any thing of the +imposition passed upon him. She remained in the Convent when I left it. + +The youngest girl who ever took the veil of our sisterhood, was only +fourteen years of age, and considered very pious. She lived but a short +time. I was told that she was ill-treated by the priests, and believe +her death was in consequence. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives, Jane Ray's +Hymns, The Superior's best Trick. + + +It was considered a great duty to exert ourselves to influence novices +in favor of the Roman Catholic religion; and different nuns, were, at +different times, charged to do what they could, by conversation, to +make favourable impressions on the minds of some, who were particularly +indicated to us by the Superior. I often heard it remarked, that those +who were influenced with the greatest difficulty, were young ladies +from the United States; and on some of those, great exertions were made. + +Cases in which citizens of the States were said to have been converted +to the Roman Catholic faith, were sometimes spoken of, and always as if +they were considered highly important. + +The Bishop, as we were told, was on the public square, on the day of an +execution, when, as he said, a stranger looked at him in some peculiar +manner, which made him confidently believe God intended to have him +converted by his means. When he went home, he wrote a letter for him, +and the next day found him again in the same place, and gave him the +letter, which led to his becoming a Roman Catholic. This man, it was +added, proved to be a citizen of the States. + +The Bishop, as I have remarked, was not very dignified on all +occasions, and sometimes acted in such a manner as would not have +appeared well in public. + +One day I saw him preparing for mass; and because he had difficulty in +getting on his robe, showed evident signs of anger. One of the nuns +remarked: "The Bishop is going to perform a passionate mass." Some of +the others exclaimed: "Are you not ashamed to speak so of my lord!" And +she was rewarded with a penance. + +But it might be hoped that the Bishop would be free from the crimes of +which I have declared so many priests to have been guilty. I am far +from entertaining such charitable opinions of him; and I had good +reasons, after a time. + +I was often required to sleep on a sofa, in the room of the present +Superior, as I may have already mentioned. + +One night, not long after I was first introduced there, for that +purpose, and within the first twelve months of my wearing the veil, +having retired as usual, at about half-past nine, not long after we had +got into bed, the alarm-bell from without, which hangs over the +Superior's bed, was rung. She told me to see who was there; and going +down, I heard the signal given, which I have before mentioned, a +peculiar kind of hissing sound made through the teeth. I answered with +a low, "Hum-hum;" and then opened the door. It was Bishop Lartigue, the +present Bishop of Montreal. He said to me, "Are you a Novice or a +Received?" meaning a Received nun. I answered a "Received." + +He then requested me to conduct him to the Superior's room, which I +did. He went to the bed, drew the curtains behind him, and I lay down +again upon the sofa, until morning, when the Superior called me, at an +early hour, about daylight, and directed me to show him the door, to +which I conducted him, and he took his departure. + +I continued to visit the cellar frequently, to carry up coal for the +fires, without anything more than a general impression that there were +two nuns, somewhere imprisoned in it. One day while there on my usual +errand, I saw a nun standing on the right of the cellar, in front of +one of the cell doors I had before observed; she was apparently engaged +with something within. This attracted my attention. The door appeared +to close in a small recess, and was fastened with a stout iron bolt on +the outside, the end of which was secured by being let into a hole in +the stone-work which formed the posts. The door, which was of wood, was +sank a few inches beyond the stone-work, rose and formed an arch +overhead. Above the bolt was a window supplied with a fine grating, +which swung open, a small bolt having been removed from it, on the +outside. The nun I had observed seemed to be whispering with some +person within, through the little window: but I hastened to get my +coal, and left the cellar, presuming that was the prison. When I +visited the place again, being alone, I ventured to the spot, +determined to learn the truth, presuming that the imprisoned nuns, of +whom the Superior had told me on my admission, were confined there. I +spoke at the window where I had seen the nun standing, and heard a +voice reply in a whisper. The aperture was so small, and the place so +dark, that I could see nobody; but I learnt that a poor wretch was +confined there a prisoner. I feared that I might be discovered, and +after a few words, which I thought could do no harm, I withdrew. + +My curiosity was now alive, to learn every thing I could about so +mysterious a subject. I made a few inquiries of Saint Xavier, who only +informed me that they were punished for refusing to obey the Superior, +Bishop, and Priests. I afterward found that the other nuns were +acquainted with the fact I had just discovered. All I could learn, +however, was, that the prisoner in the cell whom I had spoken with, and +another in the cell just beyond, had been confined there several years +without having been taken out; but their names, connexions, offences, +and everything else relating to them, I could never learn, and am still +as ignorant of as ever. Some conjectured that they had refused to +comply with some of the rules of the Convent or requisitions of the +Superior; others, that they were heiresses whose property was desired +for the convent, and who would not consent to sign deeds of it. Some of +the nuns informed me, that the severest of their sufferings arose from +fear of supernatural beings. + +I often spoke with one of them in passing near their cells, when on +errands in the cellar, but never ventured to stop long, or to press my +inquiries very far. Besides, I found her reserved, and little disposed +to converse freely, a thing I could not wonder at when I considered her +situation, and the characters of persons around her. She spoke like a +woman in feeble health, and of broken spirits. I occasionally saw other +nuns speaking to them, particularly at mealtimes, when they were +regularly furnished with food, which was such as we ourselves ate. + +Their cells were occasionally cleaned and then the doors were opened. I +never looked into them, but was informed that the ground was their only +floor. I presumed that they were furnished with straw to lie upon, as I +always saw a quantity of old straw scattered about that part of the +cellar, after the cells had been cleansed. I once inquired of one of +them, whether they could converse together, and she replied that they +could, through a small opening between their cells, which I could not +see. + +I once inquired of the one I spoke with in passing, whether she wanted +anything, and she replied, "Tell Jane Ray I want to see her a moment if +she can slip away." When I went up I took an opportunity to deliver my +message to Jane, who concerted with me a signal to be used in future, +in case a similar request should be made through me. This was a sly +wink at her with one eye, accompanied with a slight toss of my head. +She then sought an opportunity to visit the cellar, and was soon able +to hold an interview with the poor prisoners, without being noticed by +any one but myself. I afterward learnt that mad Jane Ray was not so +mad, but she could feel for those miserable beings, and carry through +measures for their comfort. She would often visit them with +sympathizing words, and, when necessary, conceal part of her food while +at table, and secretly convey it into their dungeons. Sometimes we +would combine for such an object; and I have repeatedly aided her in +thus obtaining a larger supply of food than they had been able to +obtain from others. + +I frequently thought of the two nuns confined in the cells, and +occasionally heard something said about them, but very little. Whenever +I visited the cellar and thought it safe, I went up to the first of +them and spoke a word or two, and usually got some brief reply, without +ascertaining that any particular change took place with either of them. +The one with whom I ever conversed, spoke English perfectly well, and +French I thought as well. I supposed she must have been well educated, +for I could not tell which was her native language. I remember that she +frequently used these words when I wished to say more to her, and which +alone showed that she was constantly afraid of punishment: "Oh, there's +somebody coming--do go away!" I have been told that the other prisoner +also spoke English. + +It was impossible for me to form any certain opinion about the size or +appearance of those two miserable creatures, for their cells were +perfectly dark, and I never caught the slightest glimpse even of their +faces. It is probable they were women not above the middle size, and my +reason for this presumption is the following: I was sometimes appointed +to lay out the clean clothes for all the nuns in the Convent on +Saturday evening, and was always directed to lay by two suits for the +prisoners. Particular orders were given to select the largest sized +garments for several tall nuns; but nothing of the kind was ever said +in relation to the clothes for those in the cells. + +I had not been long a veiled nun, before I requested of the Superior +permission to confess to the "Saint Bon Pasteur," (Holy Good Shepherd,) +that is, the mysterious and nameless nun whom I had heard of while a +novice. I knew of several others who had confessed to her at different +times, and of some who had sent their clothes to be touched by her when +they were sick; and I felt a desire to unburden my heart of certain +things, which I was loath to acknowledge to the Superior, or any of the +priests. + +The Superior made me wait a little, until she could ascertain whether +the "Saint Bon Pasteur" was ready to admit me; and after a time +returned, and told me to enter the old nuns' room. That apartment has +twelve beds, arranged like the berths of a ship by threes; and as each +is broad enough to receive two persons, twenty-four may be lodged +there, which was about the number of old nuns in the Convent during the +most of my stay in it. Near an opposite corner of the apartment was a +large glass case, with no appearance of a door, or other opening, in +any part of it: and in that case stood the venerable nun, in the dress +of the community, with her thick veil spread over her face, so as to +conceal it entirely. She was standing, for the place did not allow room +for sitting, and moved a little, which was the only sign of life, as +she did not speak. I fell upon my knees before her, and began to +confess some of my imperfections, which lay heavy upon my mind, +imploring her aid and intercession, that I might be delivered from +them. She appeared to listen to me with patience, but still never +returned a word in reply. I became much affected as I went on, and at +length began to weep bitterly; and when I withdrew, was in tears. It +seemed to me that my heart was remarkably relieved after this exercise, +and all the requests I had made, I found, as I believed, strictly +fulfilled. I often, afterward, visited the old nuns' room for the same +purpose, and with similar results, so that my belief in the sanctity of +the nameless nun, and my regard for her intercession were unbounded. + +What is remarkable, though I repeatedly was sent into that A room to +dust it, or to put it in order, I remarked that the glass case was +vacant, and no signs were to be found either of the nun or of the way +by which she had left it; so that a solemn conclusion rested upon my +mind, that she had gone on one of her frequent visits to heaven. + +A priest would sometimes come in the daytime to teach us to sing, and +this was done with some parade or stir, as if it were considered, or +meant to be considered as a thing of importance. + +The instructions, however, were entirely repetitions of the words and +tunes, nothing being taught even of the first principles of the +science. It appeared to me, that although hymns alone were sung, the +exercise was chiefly designed for our amusement, to raise our spirits a +little, which were apt to become depressed. Mad Jane Ray certainly +usually treated the whole thing as a matter of sport, and often excited +those of us who understood English to a great degree of mirth. She had +a very fine voice, which was so powerful as generally to be heard above +the rest. Sometimes she would be silent when the other nuns began; I +and the Superior would often call out, "Jane Ray, you don't sing." She +always had some trifling excuse ready, and commonly appeared unwilling +to join the rest. After being urged or commanded by the Superior, she +would then strike up some English song, or profane parody, which was +rendered ten times more ridiculous by the ignorance of the Lady +Superior and the majority of the nuns. I cannot help laughing now when +I remember how she used to stand with perfect composure and sing, + + "I wish I was married and nothing to rue, + With plenty of money and nothing to do." + +"Jane Ray, you don't sing right," the Superior would exclaim. "Oh," she +would reply, with perfect coolness, "that is the English for, + + 'Seigneur Dieu de clemence, + Reçois ce grand pécheur;'" + +and, as sung by her, a person ignorant of the language would naturally +be imposed upon. It was extremely difficult for me to conceal my +laughter. I have always had greater exertion to make in repressing it +than most other persons; and mad Jane Ray often took advantage of this. + +Saturday evening usually brought with it much unpleasant work for some +of us. We received the Sacrament every Sunday; and in preparation for +it, on Saturday evening we asked pardon of the Superior and of each +other "for the scandal we had caused since we last received the +Sacrament," and then asked the Superior's permission to receive it on +the following day. She inquired of each nun who necessarily asked her +permission, whether she, naming her as Saint somebody, had concealed +any sin that should hinder her from receiving it; and if the answer was +in the negative, she granted her permission. + +On Saturdays we were catechised by a priest, being assembled in a +community-room. He sat on the right of the door in a chair. He often +told us stories, and frequently enlarged on the duty enticing novices +into the nunnery. "Do you not feel" he would say, "now that you are +safely out of the world, sure of heaven? But remember how many poor +people are yet in the world. Every novice you influence to the black +veil, will add to your honour in heaven. Tell them how happy you are." + +The Superior played one trick while I was in the Convent, which always +passed for one of the most admirable she ever carried into execution. +We were pretty good judges in a case of this kind, for, as may be +presumed, we were rendered familiar with the arts of deception under so +accomplished a teacher. + +There was an ornament on hand in the nunnery, of an extraordinary kind, +which was prized at ten pounds; but it had been made and exposed to +view so long, that it became damaged and quite unsaleable. We were one +day visited by an old priest from the country, who was evidently +somewhat intoxicated; and as he withdrew to go to his lodgings, in the +Seminary, where the country priests often stay, the Superior conceived +a plan for disposing of the old ornament. "Come," said she, "we will +send it to the old priest, and swear he has bought it!" + +We all approved of the ingenious device, for it evidently might be +classed among the pious frauds we had so often had recommended to us +both by precept and example; and the ornament was sent to him the next +morning, as his property when paid for. He soon came to the Convent, +and expressed the greatest surprise that he had been charged with +purchasing such a thing, for which he had no need and no desire. + +The Superior heard this declaration with patience, but politely +insisted that it was a fair bargain; and we then surrounded the old +priest, with the strongest assertions that such was the fact, and that +nobody would ever have thought of his purchasing it unless he had +expressly engaged to take it. The poor old man was entirely put down. +He was certain of the truth: but what could he do: resist or disprove a +direct falsehood pronounced by the Superior of a Convent, and sworn to +by all her holy nuns? He finally expressed his conviction that we were +right: he was compelled to pay his money. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy +Retreat--Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract +Conscience--Ingenious Arguments. + + +Some of the priests from the Seminary were in the nunnery every day and +night, and often several at a time. I have seen nearly all of them at +different times, though there are about one hundred and fifty in the +district of Montreal. There was a difference in their conduct; though I +believe every one of them was guilty of licentiousness; while not one +did I ever see who maintained a character any way becoming the +profession of a priest. Some were gross and degraded in a degree which +few of my readers can ever have imagined; and I should be unwilling to +offend the eye, and corrupt the heart of any one, by an account of +their words and actions. Few imaginations can conceive deeds so +abominable as they practised, and often required of some of the poor +women, under the fear of severe punishments, and even of death. I do +not hesitate to say with the strongest confidence, that although some +of the nuns became lost to every sentiment of virtue and honour, +especially one from the Congregational Nunnery whom I have before +mentioned, Saint Patrick, the greater part of them loathed the +practices to which they were compelled to submit by the Superior and +priests, who kept them under so dreadful a bondage. + +Some of the priests whom I saw I never knew by name, and the names of +others I did not learn for a time, and at last only by accident. + +They were always called "Mon père," my father; but sometimes, when they +had purchased something in the ornament-room, they would give their +real names, with directions where it should be sent. Many names, thus +learnt, and in other ways, were whispered about from nun to nun, and +became pretty generally known. Several of the priests, some of us had +seen before we entered the Convent. + +Many things of which I speak, from the nature of the case, must +necessarily rest chiefly upon my own word, until further evidence can +be obtained: but there are some facts for which I can appeal to the +knowledge of others. It is commonly known in Montreal that some of the +priests occasionally withdraw from their customary employments, and are +not to be seen for some time, it being understood that they have +retired for religious study, meditation and devotion, for the +improvement of their hearts. Sometimes they are thus withdrawn from the +world for weeks: but there is no fixed period. + +This was a fact I knew before I took the veil; for it is a frequent +subject of remark, that such or such a Father is on a "holy retreat." +This is a term which conveys the idea of a religious seclusion from the +world for sacred purposes. On the re-appearance of the priest after +such a period, in the church or the streets, it is natural to feel a +peculiar impression of his devout character--an impression very +different from that conveyed to the mind of one who knows matters as +they really are. Suspicions have been indulged by some in Canada on +this subject, and facts are known by at least a few. I am able to speak +from personal knowledge: for I have been a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise. + +The priests are liable, by their dissolute habits, to occasional +attacks of disease, which render it necessary, or at least prudent, to +submit to medical treatment. + +In the Black Nunnery they find private accommodations, for they are +free to enter one of the private hospitals whenever they please; which +is a room set apart on purpose for the accommodation of the priests, +and is called a retreat-room. But an excuse is necessary to blind the +public, and this they find is the pretence that they make of being in a +"Holy Retreat." Many such cases I have known; and I can mention the +names of priests who have been confined in this Holy Retreat. They are +very carefully attended by the Superior and old nuns, and their diet +mostly consists of vegetable soups, &c., with but little meat, and that +fresh. I have seen an instrument of surgery laying upon the table in +that holy room, which is used only for particular purposes. + +Father Tabeau, a Roman priest, was on one of his holy retreats about +the time when I left the nunnery. There are sometimes a number confined +there at the same time. The victims of these priests frequently share +the same fate. + +I have often reflected how grievously I had been deceived in my opinion +of a nun's condition! All the holiness of their lives, I now saw, was +merely pretended. The appearance of sanctity and heavenly mindedness +which they had shown among us novices, I found was only a disguise to +conceal such practices as would not be tolerated in any decent society +in the world; and as for peace and joy like that of heaven, which I had +expected to find among them, I learnt too well that they did not exist +there. + +The only way in which such thoughts were counteracted, was by the +constant instructions given us by the Superior and priests, to regard +every doubt as a mortal sin. Other faults we might have, as we were +told over and over again, which, though worthy of penances, were far +less sinful than these. For a nun to doubt that she was doing her duty +in fulfilling her vows and oaths, was a heinous offence, and we were +exhorted always to suppress our doubts, to confess them without +reserve, and cheerfully to submit to severe penances on account of +them, as the only means of mortifying our evil dispositions, and +resisting the temptations of the devil. Thus we learnt in a good degree +to resist our minds and consciences, when we felt the first rising of a +question about the duty of doing any thing required of us. + +To enforce this upon us, they employed various means. Some of the most +striking stories told us at catechism by the priests, were designed for +this end. One of these, I will repeat. One day, as a priest assured us +who was hearing us say the catechism on Saturday afternoon, as one +Monsieur ----, a well-known citizen of Montreal, was walking near the +cathedral, he saw Satan giving orders to numerous evil spirits who had +assembled around him. Being afraid of being seen, and yet wishing to +observe what was done, he hid himself where he could observe all that +passed. Satan despatched his devils to different parts of the city, +with directions to do their best for him; and they returned in a short +time, bringing in reports of their success in leading persons of +different classes to the commission of various sins, which they thought +would be agreeable to their master. Satan, however, expressed his +dissatisfaction, and ordered them out again; but just then a spirit +from the Black Nunnery came, who had not been seen before, and stated +that he had been trying for seven years to persuade one of the nuns to +doubt, and had just succeeded. Satan received the intelligence with the +highest pleasure; and turning to the spirits around him, said: "You +have not half done your work--he has done much more than all of you." + +In spite, however, of our instructions and warnings, our fears and +penances, such doubts would intrude; and I have often indulged them for +a time, and at length, yielding to the belief that I was wrong in +giving place to them, would confess them, and undergo with cheerfulness +such new penances as I was loaded with. Others too would occasionally +entertain and privately express such doubts; though we all had been +most solemnly warned by the cruel murder of Saint Francis. Occasionally +some of the nuns would go further, and resist the restraints or +punishments imposed upon them; and it was not uncommon to hear screams, +sometimes of a most piercing and terrific kind, from nuns suffering +under discipline. + +Some of my readers may feel disposed to exclaim against me, for +believing things, which will strike them as so monstrous and +abominable. To such, I would say, without pretending to justify +myself--You know little of the position in which I was placed: in the +first place, ignorant of any other religions doctrines; and in the +second, met at every moment by some ingenious argument, and the example +of a large community, who received all the instructions of the priests +as of undoubted truth, and practised upon them. Of the variety and +speciousness of the arguments used, you cannot have any correct idea. +They were often so ready with replies, examples, anecdotes and +authorities, to enforce their doctrines, that it seemed to me they +could never have learnt it all from books, but must have been taught by +wicked spirits. Indeed, when I reflect upon their conversations, I am +astonished at their art and address, and find it difficult to account +for their subtlety and success in influencing my mind, and persuading +me to anything they pleased. It seems to me, that hardly anybody would +be safe in their hands. If you were to go to confession twice, I +believe you would feel very differently from what you do now. They have +such a way of avoiding one thing, and speaking of another, of affirming +this, and doubting or disputing that, of quoting authorities, and +speaking of wonders and miracles recently performed, in confirmation of +what they teach, as familiarly known to persons whom they call by name, +and whom they pretend to offer as witnesses, though they never give you +an opportunity to speak with them--these, and many other means, they +use in such away, that they always blinded my mind, and I should think, +would blind the minds of others. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in +Sleep--Amusements--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased +Nuns--Sudden disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new +one--Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with +other Nuns. + + +It will be recollected, that I was informed immediately after receiving +the veil, that infants were occasionally murdered in the Convent. I was +one day in the nuns' private sick room, when I had an opportunity, +unsought for, of witnessing deeds of such a nature. It was, perhaps, a +month after the death of Saint Francis. Two little twin babes, the +children of Sainte Catharine, were brought to a priest, who was in the +room, for baptism. I was present while the ceremony was performed, with +the Superior and several of the old nuns, whose names I never knew, +they being called Ma tante, Aunt. + +The priests took turns in attending to confession and catechism in the +Convent, usually three months at a time, though sometimes longer +periods. The priest then on duty was Father Larkin. He is a +good-looking European, and has a brother who is a professor in the +college. He baptized, and then put oil upon the heads of the infants, +as is the custom after baptism. They were then taken, one after +another, by one of the old nuns, in the presence of us all. She pressed +her hand upon the mouth and nose of the first, so tight that it could +not breathe, and in a few minutes, when the hand was removed, it was +dead. She then took the other, and treated it in the same way. No sound +was heard, and both the children were corpses. The greatest +indifference was shown by all present during this operation; for all, +as I well knew, were long accustomed to such scenes. The little bodies +were then taken into the cellar, thrown into the pit I have mentioned, +and covered with a quantity of lime. + +I afterward saw another new-born infant treated in the same manner, in +the same place; but the actors in the scene I choose not to name, nor +the circumstances, as everything connected with it is of a peculiarly +trying and painful nature to my own feelings. + +These were the only instances of infanticide I witnessed; and it seemed +to be merely owing to accident that I was then present. So far as I +know, there were no pains taken to preserve secrecy on this subject; +that is, I saw no attempt made to keep any of the inmates of the +Convent in ignorance of the murder of children. On the contrary, others +were told, as well as myself, on their first admission as veiled nuns, +that all infants born in the place were baptized and killed, without +loss of time; and I had been called to witness the murder of the three +just mentioned, only because I happened to be in the room at the time. + +That others were killed in the same manner during my stay in the +nunnery, I am well assured. + +How many there were I cannot tell, and having taken no account of those +I heard of, I cannot speak with precision; I believe, however, that I +learnt through nuns, that at least eighteen or twenty infants were +smothered, and secretly buried in the cellar, while I was a nun. + +One of the effects of the weariness of our bodies and minds, was our +proneness to talk in our sleep. It was both ludicrous and painful to +hear the nuns repeat their prayers in the course of the night, as they +frequently did in their dreams. Required to keep our minds continually +on the stretch, both in watching our conduct, in remembering the rules +and our prayers, under the fear of the consequences of any neglect, +when we closed our eyes in sleep, we often went over again the scenes +of the day; and it was no uncommon thing for me to hear a nun repeat +one or two of our long exercises in the dead of night. Sometimes, by +the time she had finished, another, in a different part of the room, +would happen to take a similar turn, and commence a similar recitation; +and I have known cases in which several such unconscious exercises were +performed, all within an hour or two. + +We had now and then a recreation day, when we were relieved from our +customary labor, and from all prayers except those for morning and +evening. The greater part of our time was then occupied with different +games, particularly backgammon and drafts, and in such conversation as +did not relate to our past lives, and the outside of the Convent. +Sometimes, however, our sports would be interrupted on such days by the +entrance of one of the priests, who would come in and propose that his +fete, the birth-day of his patron saint, should be kept by "the +saints." We saints! + +Several nuns died at different times while I was in the Convent; how +many I cannot say, but there was a considerable number: I might rather +say, many in proportion to the number in the nunnery. The proportion of +deaths I am sure was very large. There were always some in the nuns' +sick-rooms, and several interments took place in the chapel. When a +Black nun is dead, the corpse is dressed as if living, and placed in +the chapel in a sitting posture, within the railing round the altar, +with a book in the hand, as if reading. Persons are then freely +admitted from the street, and some of them kneel and pray before it. No +particular notoriety is given, I believe, to this exhibition out of the +Convent; but such a case usually excites some attention. + +The living nuns are required to say prayers for the delivery of their +deceased sister from purgatory, being informed, as in all other such +cases, that if she is not there, and has no need of our intercession, +our prayers are in no danger of being thrown away, as they will be set +down to the account of some of our departed friends, or at least to +that of the souls which have no acquaintances to pray for them. + +It was customary for us occasionally to kneel before a dead nun thus +seated in the chapel, and I have often performed that task. It was +always painful, for the ghastly countenance being seen whenever I +raised my eyes, and the feeling that the position and dress were +entirely opposed to every idea of propriety in such a case, always made +me melancholy. + +The Superior sometimes left the Convent, and was absent for an hour, or +several hours, at a time, but we never knew of it until she had +returned, and were not informed where she had been. I one day had +reason to presume that she had recently paid a visit to the priests' +farm, though I had no direct evidence that such was the fact. The +priests' farm is a fine tract of land belonging to the Seminary, a +little distance from the city, near the Lachine road, with a large +old-fashioned edifice upon it. I happened to be in the Superior's room +on the day alluded to, when she made some remark on the plainness and +poverty of her furniture. I replied, that she was not proud, and could +not be dissatisfied on that account; she answered-- + +"No; but if I was, how much superior is the furniture at the priests' +farm! the poorest room there is furnished better than the best of mine." + +I was one day mending the fire in the Superior's room, when a priest +was conversing with her on the scarcity of money; and I heard him say, +that very little money was received by the priests for prayers, but +that the principal part came with penances and absolutions. + +One of the most remarkable and unaccountable things that happened in +the Convent, was the disappearance of the old Superior. She had +performed her customary part during the day, and had acted and appeared +just as usual. She had shown no symptoms of ill health, met with no +particular difficulty in conducting business, and no agitation, anxiety +or gloom, had been noticed in her conduct. We had no reason to suppose +that during that day she had expected anything particular to occur, any +more than the rest of us. After the close of our customary labours, and +evening lecture, she dismissed us to retire to bed, exactly in her +usual manner. The next morning the bell rung we sprang from our bed, +hurried on our clothes as usual, and proceeded to the community-room in +double line, to commence the morning exercises. There, to our surprise, +we found Bishop Lartigue; but the Superior was nowhere to be seen. The +Bishop soon addressed us, instead of her, and informed us, that a lady +near him, whom he presented to us, was now the Superior of the Convent, +and enjoined upon us the same respect and obedience which we had paid +to her predecessor. + +The lady he introduced to us was one of our oldest nuns, Saint Du ----, +a very large, fleshy woman, with swelled limbs, which rendered her very +slow in walking, and often gave her great distress. Not a word was +dropped from which we could conjecture the cause of this change, nor of +the fate of the old Superior. I took the first opportunity to inquire +of one of the nuns, whom I dared talk to, what had become of her; but I +found them as ignorant as myself, though suspicious that she had been +murdered by the orders of the Bishop. Never did I obtain any light on +her mysterious disappearance. I am confident, however, that if the +Bishop wished to get rid of her privately and by foul means, he had +ample opportunities and power at his command. Jane Ray, as usual, could +not allow such an occurrence to pass by without intimating her own +suspicions more plainly than any other of the nuns would have dared to +do. She spoke out one day, in the community-room, and said, "I'm going +to have a hunt in the cellar for my old Superior." + +"Hush, Jane Ray!" exclaimed some of the nuns, "you'll be punished." + +"My mother used to tell me," replied Jane, "never to be afraid of the +face of a man." + +It cannot be thought strange that we were superstitious. Some were more +easily terrified than others, by unaccountable sights and sounds; but +all of us believed in the power and occasional appearance of spirits, +and were ready to look for them at almost any time. I have seen several +instances of alarm caused by such superstition, and have experienced it +myself more than once. I was one day sitting mending aprons, beside one +of the old nuns, in a community-room, while the litanies were +repeating; as I was very easy to laugh, Saint Ignace or Agnes, came in, +walked up to her with much agitation, and began to whisper in her ear. +She usually talked but little, and that made me more curious to know +what was the matter with her. I overheard her say to the old nun, in +much alarm, that in the cellar from which she had just returned, she +had heard the most dreadful groans that ever came from any being. This +was enough to give me uneasiness. I could not account for the +appearance of an evil spirit in any part of the Convent, for I had been +assured that the only one ever known there, was that of the nun who had +died with an unconfessed sin, and that others were kept at a distance +by the holy water that was rather profusely used in different parts of +the nunnery. Still, I presumed that the sounds heard by Saint Ignace +must have proceeded from some devil, and I felt great dread at the +thought of visiting the cellar again. I determined to seek further +information of the terrified nun; but when I addressed her on the +subject, at recreation-time, the first opportunity I could find, she +replied, that I was always trying to make her break silence, and walked +off to another group in the room, so that I could obtain no +satisfaction. + +It is remarkable that in our nunnery, we were almost entirely cut off +from the means of knowing anything, even of each other. There were many +nuns whom I know nothing of to this day, after having been in the same +rooms with them every day and night for many months. There was a nun, +whom I supposed to be in the Convent, and whom I was anxious to learn +something about from the time of my entrance as a novice; but I never +was able to learn anything concerning her, not even whether she was in +the nunnery or not, whether alive or dead. She was the daughter of a +rich family, residing at Point aux Trembles, of whom I had heard my +mother speak before I entered the Convent. The name of her family I +think was Lafayette, and she was thought to be from Europe. She was +known to have taken the black veil; but as I was not acquainted with +the name of the Saint she had assumed, and I could not describe her in +"the world," all my inquiries and observations proved entirely in vain. +I had heard before my entrance into the Convent, that one of the nuns +had made her escape from it during the last war, and, once inquired +about her of the Superior. She admitted that such was the fact; but I +was never able to learn any particulars concerning her name, origin, or +manner of escape. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupation in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of Wax Candles--The Election +Riots--Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances. + + +I am unable to say how many nuns disappeared while I was in the +Convent. There were several. One was a young lady called St. Pierre, I +think, but am not certain of her name. There were two nuns by this +name. I had known her as a novice with me. She had been a novice about +two years and a half before I became one. She was rather large without +being tall and had rather dark hair and eyes. She disappeared +unaccountably, and nothing was said of her except what I heard in +whispers from a few of the nuns, as we found moments when we could +speak unobserved. + +Some told me they thought she must have left the Convent; and I might +have supposed so, had I not some time afterward found some of her +things lying about, which she would, in such a case, doubtless have +taken with her. I never had known any thing more of her than what I +could observe or conjecture. I had always, however, the idea that her +parents or friends were wealthy, for she sometimes received clothes and +other things, which were very rich. + +Another nun, named Saint Paul, died suddenly; but as in other cases, we +knew so little, or rather were so entirely ignorant of the cause and +circumstances that we could only conjecture; and being forbidden to +converse freely on that or any other subject, thought but little about +it. I have mentioned that a number of veiled nuns thus mysteriously +disappeared during my residence among them. I cannot, perhaps, recall +them all, but I am confident there were as many as five, and I think +more. All that we knew in such cases was, that one of our number who +had appeared as usual when last observed, was nowhere to be seen, and +never was again. Mad Jane Ray, on several such occasions, would indulge +in her bold, and, as we thought, dangerous remarks. She had intimated +that some of those, who had been for a time in the Convent, were by +some means removed to make way for new ones; and it was generally the +fact, that the disappearance of one and the introduction of another +into our community, were nearly at the same time. I have repeatedly +heard Jane Ray say, with one of her significant looks, "When you +appear, somebody else disappears!" + +It is unpleasant enough to distress or torture one's self; but there is +something worse in being tormented by others, especially where they +resort to force, and show a pleasure in compelling you, and leave you +no hope of escape, or opportunity to resist. I had seen the gags +repeatedly in use, and sometimes applied with a roughness which seemed +rather inhuman; but it is one thing to see and another thing to feel. +There were some of the old nuns who seemed to take pleasure in +oppressing those who fell under their displeasure. They were ready to +recommend or resort to compulsory measures, and ever ready to run for +the gags. These were kept in one of the community-rooms, in a drawer +between two closets; and there a stock of about fifty of them was +always in deposite. Sometimes a number of nuns would prove refractory +at a time; and I have seen battles commenced in which several appeared +on both sides. The disobedient were, however, soon overpowered: and to +prevent their screams from being heard beyond the walls, gagging +commenced immediately. I have seen half a dozen lying, gagged and bound +at once. + +I have been subjected to the same state of involuntary silence more +than once; for sometimes I became excited to a state of desperation by +the measures used against me, and then conducted in a manner perhaps +not less violent than some others. My hands had been tied behind me, +and a gag put into my mouth, sometimes with such force and rudeness as +to lacerate my lips and cause the blood to flow freely. + +Treatment of this kind is apt to teach submission, and many times I +have acquiesced under orders received, or wishes expressed, with a fear +of a recurrence to some severe measures. + +One day I had incurred the anger of the Superior in a greater degree +than usual, and it was ordered that I should be taken to one of the +cells. I was taken by some of the nuns, bound and gagged, carried down +the stairs in the cellar, and laid upon the floor. Not long afterward I +induced one of the nuns to request the Superior to come down and see +me; and on making some acknowledgment I was released. I will, however, +relate this story rather more in detail. + +On that day I had been engaged with Jane Ray, in carrying into effect a +plan of revenge upon another person, when I fell under the vindictive +spirit of some of the old nuns, and suffered severely. The Superior +ordered me to the cells, and a scene of violence commenced which I will +not attempt to describe, nor the precise circumstances which led to it. +Suffice it to say, that after exhausting my strength, by resisting as +long as I could against several nuns, I had my hands drawn behind my +back, a leathern band passed first round my thumbs, then round my +hands, and then round my waist, and fastened. This was drawn so tight +that it cut through the flesh of my thumbs, making wounds, the scars of +which still remain. A gag was then forced into my mouth, not indeed so +violently as it sometimes was, but roughly enough; after which I was +taken by main force, and carried down into the cellar, across it almost +to the opposite extremity, and brought to the last of the second range +of cells on the left hand. The door was opened, and I was thrown in +with violence, and left alone, the door being immediately closed and +bolted on the outside. The bare ground was under me, cold and hard as +if it had been beaten down even. I lay still, in the position in which +I had fallen, as it would have been difficult for me to move, confined +as I was, and exhausted by my exertions; and the shock of my fall, and +my wretched state of desperation and fear, disinclined me from any +further attempt. I was in almost total darkness, there being nothing +perceptible except a slight glimmer of light which came in through the +little window far above me. + +How long I remained in that condition I can only conjecture. It seemed +to me a long time, and must have been two or three hours. I did not +move, expecting to die there, and in a state of distress which I cannot +describe, from the tight bandage about my hands, and the gag holding my +jaws apart at their greatest extension. I am confident I must have died +before morning, if, as I then expected, I had been left there all +night. By-and-by, however, the bolt was drawn, the door opened, and +Jane Ray spoke to me in a tone of kindness. She had taken an +opportunity to slip into the cellar unnoticed on purpose to see me. She +unbound the gag, and took it out of my mouth, and told me she would do +any thing to get me out of my dungeon. If she had had the bringing of +me down, she would not have thrust me so brutally, and she would be +revenged on those who had. She offered to throw herself upon her knees +before the Superior and beg her forgiveness. To this I would not +consent; but told her to ask the Superior to come to me, as I wished to +speak to her. This I had no idea she would condescend to do; but Jane +had not been gone long before the Superior came, and asked if I had +repented in the sight of God for what I had done. I replied in the +affirmative; and after a lecture of some length on the pain I had given +the Virgin Mary by my conduct, she asked whether I was willing to ask +pardon of all the nuns for the scandal I had caused them by my +behaviour. To this I made no objection; and I was then released from my +prison and my bonds, went up to the community-room, and kneeling before +all the sisters in succession begged the forgiveness and prayers of +each. + +Among the marks which I still bear of the wounds received from penances +and violence, are the scars left by the belt with which I repeatedly +tortured myself, for the mortification of my spirit. These are most +distinct on my side; for although the band, which was four or five +inches in breadth, and extended round the waist, was stuck full of +sharp iron points in all parts, it was sometimes crowded most against +my side, by rocking in my chair, and the wounds were usually deeper +there than anywhere else. + +My thumbs were several times cut severely by the tight drawing of the +band used to confine my arms, and the scars are still visible upon them. + +The rough gagging which I several times endured wounded my lips very +much; for it was common, in that operation, to thrust the gag hard +against the teeth, and catch one or both the lips, which were sometimes +cut. The object was to stop the screams made by the offender as soon as +possible; and some of the old nuns delighted in tormenting us. A gag +was once forced into my mouth which had a large splinter upon it, and +this cut through my under lip, in front, leaving to this day a scar +about half an inch long. The same lip was several times wounded, as +well as the other; but one day worse than ever, when a narrow piece was +cut off from the left side of it, by being pinched between the gag and +the under fore-teeth; and this has left an inequality in it which is +still very observable. + +One of the most shocking stories I heard of events that had occurred in +the nunnery before my acquaintance with it, was the following, which +was told me by Jane. What is uncommon, I can fix the date when I heard +it. It was on New-Year's day, 1834. The ceremonies, customary in the +early part of that day, had been performed; after mass, in the morning, +the Superior had shaken hands with all the nuns, and given us her +blessing, for she was said to have received power from heaven to do so +only once a year, and then on the first day of the year. Besides this, +cakes, raisins, &c. are distributed to the nuns on that day. + +While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the +cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation +with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our +practice often was, to take places there beside one of the old nuns, +awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while and leave +us partially screened from the observation of others. On that occasion, +Jane and I were left for a time alone; when after some discourse on +suicide, she remarked, that three nuns once killed themselves in the +Convent. This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I +knew, therefore, that it was several years before, for she had been +received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young +ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same +time, I am not certain which. I know they have four robes in the +Convent, to be worn during the ceremony of taking the veil; but I have +never seen more than one of them used at a time. + +Two of the new nuns were sisters, and the other their cousin. They had +been received but a few days, when information was given one morning +that they had been found dead in their beds, amid a profusion of blood. +Jane Ray said, she saw their corpses, and that they appeared to have +killed themselves, by opening veins in their arms with a knife they had +obtained, and all had bled to death together. What was extraordinary, +Jane Ray added, that she had heard no noise, and that she believed +nobody had suspected that any thing was wrong during the night. Saint +Hypolite, however, had stated, that she found them in the morning, +after the other nuns had gone to prayers, lying lifeless in their beds. + +For some reason or other, their death was not made public; but their +bodies, instead of being exhibited in full dress in the chapel, and +afterward interred with solemnity beneath it, were taken +unceremoniously into the cellar, and thrown into the hole I have so +often mentioned. + +There were a few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing +that was happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not +extend out of the city. I can recall but three occasions of this kind. +Two of them were when the cholera prevailed in Montreal; and the other +was the election riots. The appearance of the cholera, in both seasons +of its ravages, gave us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more +borne down by hard labor at those times, than ever before or afterward +during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax +candles would afford protection from the disease, because so long as +any person continued to burn one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for +him. No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance +in Montreal, than a long wax candle was lighted in the Convent for each +of the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially +illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were kept +constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured +by the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been +promulgated in the Grey Nunnery, the Congregational Nunnery, and to +Catholics at large, through the pulpits, an extraordinary demand was +created for wax candles, to supply which we were principally depended +upon. All who could be employed in making them were therefore set at +work, and I among the rest, assisted in different departments, and +witnessed all. + +Numbers of the nuns had been long familiar with the business; for a +very considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the +Convent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in +a great degree laid aside. Large quantities of wax were received in the +building, which was said to have been imported from England; kettles +were placed in some of the working-rooms, in which it was clarified by +heat over coal fires, and when prepared, the process of dipping +commenced. The wicks which were quite long, were placed hanging upon a +reel, taken up and dipped in succession, until, after many slow +revolutions of the reel, the candles were of the proper size. They were +then taken to a part of the room where tables were prepared for rolling +them smooth. This is done by passing a roller over them, until they +became even and polished, after which they are laid by for sale. These +processes caused a constant bustle in several of the rooms; and the +melancholy reports from without, of the ravages of the cholera, with +the uncertainty of what might be the result with us, notwithstanding +the promised intercession of the Virgin, and the brilliant lights +constantly burning in such numbers around us, impressed the scenes I +used to witness very deeply on my mind. I had very little doubt myself +of the strict truth of the story we had heard of the security conferred +upon those who burnt candles, and yet I sometimes had serious fears +arise in my mind. These thoughts, however, I did my utmost to regard as +great sins, and evidences of my own want of faith. + +It was during that period that I formed a partial acquaintance with +several Grey nuns, who used to come frequently for supplies of candles +for their Convent. I had no opportunity to converse with them, except +so far as the purchase and sale of the articles they required. I became +familiar with their countenances and appearances, but was unable to +judge of their characters or feelings. Concerning the rules and habits +prevailing in the Grey Nunnery; I therefore remained as ignorant as if +I had been a thousand miles off; and they had no better opportunity to +learn anything of us beyond what they could see around them in the room +where the candles were sold. + +We supplied the Congregational Nunnery also with wax candles, as I +before remarked; and in both those institutions, it was understood a +constant illumination was kept up. Citizens were also frequently +running in to buy candles, in great and small quantities, so that the +business of storekeeping was far more laborious than common. + +We were confirmed in our faith in the intercession of the Virgin, when +we found that we remained safe from the cholera; and it is a remarkable +fact, that not one case of that disease existed in the nunnery, during +either of the seasons in which it proved so fatal in the city. + +When the election riots prevailed in Montreal, the city was thrown into +general alarm; we heard some reports, from day to day, which made us +anxious for ourselves. Nothing, however, gave me any serious thoughts +until I saw uncommon movements in some parts of the nunnery, and +ascertained, to my own satisfaction, that there was a large quantity of +gunpowder stored in some secret place within the walls, and that some +of it was removed, or prepared for use, under the direction of the +Superior. + +I have mentioned several penances, in different parts of this +narrative, which we sometimes had to perform. There is a great variety +of them; and, while some, though trifling in appearance, became very +painful, by long endurance, or frequent repetition; others are severe +in their nature, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of +something worse, or a real belief in efficacy to remove guilt. I will +mention here such as I recollect, which can be named without offending +a virtuous ear; for some there were, which, although I have been +compelled to submit to, either by misled conscience, or the fear of +severe punishments, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, +and at liberty to act, I would not mention or describe. + +Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the +feet of the other nuns, is another: as are kneeling on hard peas, and +walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees +through the subterranean passage, leading to the Congregational +Nunnery; and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. +Sometimes we were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic +was given to me on this account, because I had a strong antipathy +against it. Eels were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt +an unconquerable repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard +of their feeding on dead carcasses, in the river St. Lawrence. It was +no uncommon thing for us to be required to drink the water in which the +Superior had washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand +ourselves with a hot iron, so as to leave scars; at other times to whip +our naked flesh with several small rods, before a private altar, until +we drew blood. I can assert, with the perfect knowledge of the fact, +that many of the nuns bear the scars of these wounds. + +One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms +extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The _Chemin de la +Croix_, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it +consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repetition of many +prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform +frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in +succession, at each time commemorating some particular act or +circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to the place of his +crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the +winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet; and sometimes to chew +a piece of window-glass to a fine powder, in the presence of the +Superior. + +We had sometimes to wear leathern belts stuck full of sharp metallic +points round our waists, and the upper part of our arms, bound on so +tight that they penetrated the flesh, and drew blood. + +Some of the penances was so severe, that they seemed too much to be +endured; and when they were imposed, the nuns who were to suffer them, +sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would often resist, +and still oftener express their opposition by exclamations and screams. + +Never, however, was any noise heard from them, for a long time for +there was a remedy always ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The +gag which was put into the month of the unfortunate Saint Francis, had +been brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of +different shapes and sizes. These I have seen in their depository, +which is a drawer between two closets, in one of the community-rooms. +Whenever any loud noise was made, one of these instruments was +demanded, and gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many +instances, and sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes +they would become so much excited before they could be bound and +gagged, that considerable force was necessary to be exerted; and I have +seen the blood flowing from months into which the gag had been thrust +with violence. + +Indeed I ought to know something on this department of nunnery +discipline: I have had it tried upon myself, and I can bear witness +that it is not only most humiliating and oppressive, but often +extremely painful. The month is kept forced open, and the straining of +the jaws at their utmost stretch, for a considerable time, is very +distressing. + +One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with +a cap; and yet some of the old nuns were permitted to inflict it at +their pleasure. I have repeatedly known them to go for a cap, when one +of our number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very +unimportant one. These caps were kept in a cupboard in the old nuns' +room, whence they were brought when wanted. + +They were small, made of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to +the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the +common practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her before the +cap was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by +any for one moment, without throwing them into severe sufferings. If +permitted, they would scream in a most shocking manner; and they always +writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can speak from +personal knowledge of this punishment, as I have endured it more than +once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined +one of the caps, nor saw the inside, for they are always brought and +taken away quickly; but although the first sensation was that of +coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and +indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more +insupportable; and this continued until it was removed. It would +produce such an acute pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think +no human being could endure it for an hour. After this punishment we +felt its effects through the system for many days. Having once known +what it was by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was +condemned to suffer the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to +avoid it. But when tied and gagged, with the cap on my head again, I +could only sink upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was +taken off. + +This was usually done in about ten minutes, sometimes less, but the +pain always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it +might take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I +had not been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I +have felt the effects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were +applied to my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine +my head, I cannot say more. + +This punishment was occasionally resorted to for very trifling +offences, such as washing the hands without permission; and it was +generally applied on the spot, and before the other nuns in the +community-room. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging. + + +I have mentioned before, that the country, as far down as Three Rivers, +is furnished with priests by the Seminary of Montreal; and that these +hundred and fifty men are liable to be occasionally transferred from +one station to another. Numbers of them are often to be seen in the +streets of Montreal, as they may find a home in the Seminary. + +They are considered as haying an equal right to enter the Black Nunnery +whenever they please; and then, according to our oaths, they have +complete control over the nuns. To name all the works of shame of which +they are guilty in that retreat, would require much time and space, +neither would it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which +is, the publication of but some of their criminality to the world, and +the development, in general terms, of scenes thus far carried on in +secret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate. + +Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an +eyewitness would ever escape to tell of their crimes, and declare some +of their names before the world; but the time has come, and some of +their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the +nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country +places, admitted for shameful and criminal purposes: from St. Charles, +St. Denis, St. Mark's St. Antoine, Chambly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c. + +How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I make! Shut up in a +place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, +and that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in +perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their +criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly than +even the brutes. These debauchees would come in without ceremony, +concealing their names, both by night and by day, where the cries and +pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the +world, for relief or redress for their wrongs; without remorse or +shame, they would glory in torturing, in the most barbarous manner, the +feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that +this mortifying of the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God. + +We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary sufferings in a +variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A +priest would sometimes say to us-- + +"Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin +through your cheeks?" + +Some of us would signify our readiness, and immediately thrust one +through up to the head. Sometimes he would propose that we should +repeat the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a +number of nuns would be bloody. + +There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I +cannot name in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to +perform; many of them things not only useless, and unheard of, but +loathsome and indecent in the highest possible degree. How they could +ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse +than the entire exposure of the person, though this was occasionally +required of several at once, in the presence of priests. + +The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that +he had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who +possessed the greatest devotion and faith, should be requested to +perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our +presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to +speak. I cannot repeat what would injure any ear, not debased to the +lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to +confess, that deluded women were found among us, who would comply with +those requests. + +There was a great difference between the characters of our old and new +Superior, which soon became obvious. The former used to say she liked +to walk, because it would prevent her from becoming corpulent. She was, +therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the +nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employments. I never +saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, +bold and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, cruel and +cold-blooded, in scenes calculated to overcome any common person. Such +a character she had exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis. + +The new Superior, on the other hand, was so heavy and lame, that she +walked with much difficulty, and consequently exercised a less vigilant +oversight of the nuns. She was also of a timid disposition, or else had +been overcome by some great fright in her past life; for she was apt to +become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark. +She had long performed the part of an old nun, which is that of a spy +upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, +under the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the +station of Superior, she appointed me to sleep in her apartment, and +assigned me a sofa to lie upon. One night while, I was asleep, she +suddenly threw herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alarm, "Oh! mon +Dieu! mon Dieu! Qu'est que ça?" Oh, my God! my God! What is that? I +jumped up and looked about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured +to convince her that there was nothing extraordinary there. But she +insisted that a ghost had come and held her bed-curtain, so that she +could not draw it. I examined it, and found that the curtain had been +caught by a pin in the valance, which had held it back; but it was +impossible to tranquillize her for some time. She insisted on my +sleeping with her the rest of the night, and I stretched myself across +the foot of her bed, and slept there till morning. + +During the last part of my stay in the Convent, I was often employed in +attending in the hospitals. There are, as I have before mentioned, +several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a physician of +Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be +supposed, however, that he knows anything concerning the private +hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly +understood, and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any +circumstances, admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he +sees nothing more than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care +of those patients who are admitted from the city into the public +hospital, and one of the nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every +day. Sick poor are received for charity by the institution, attended by +some of the nuns, and often go away with the highest ideas of their +charitable characters and holy lives. The physician himself might +perhaps in some cases share in the delusion. + +I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the +direction of the Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and +wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different +patients. These were afterwards prepared and administered by the +attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first +appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed +in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course, I had +opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated +there; and in what I am to say on the subject, I appeal with perfect +confidence to any true and competent witness to confirm, my words, +whenever such a witness may appear. + +It would be vain for any body who has merely visited the Convent from +curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations. +Such a person must necessarily be ignorant of even the existence of the +private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms however, +there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there +during the hours I was employed in them, as I have stated. + +One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare, +who, in going down-stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a +sick-room adjoining an hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her +head a part of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her +reason most of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was +delirious; but I considered her as speaking the truth, though I felt +reluctant to repeat what I heard her say, and excused myself from +mentioning it even at confession, on the ground that the Superior +thought her deranged. + +What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation, +was a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out +of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at +the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the +dark, for she could not bear it. "I have witnessed so many horrid +scenes," said she, "in this Convent, that I want somebody near me +constantly, and must always have a light burning in my room. I cannot +tell you," she added, "what things I remember, for they would frighten +you too much. What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder +have I witnessed; many a nice young creature has been killed in this +nunnery. I advise you to be very cautions--keep everything to +yourself--there are many here ready to betray you." + +What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me +I could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her +own crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I took +of her. She had been one of the night-watches, and never before showed +me any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail +concerning the transactions to which she alluded, but told me that some +nuns had been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being +gagged, and left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt +off their bones with red-hot irons. + +It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit +renders us insensible to the sufferings of others, and careless about +our own sins. I had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult +to rid myself of many of my former false principles and views of right +and wrong. + +I was one day set to wash some of the empty bottles from the cellar, +which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there. +A number of these had been brought from the corner where so many of +them were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar +stairs, and there we were required to take them and wash them out. We +poured in water and rinsed them; a few drops, which got upon our +clothes, soon made holes in them. I think the liquid was called +vitriol, or some such name; and I heard some persons say, that it would +soon destroy the flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another +time, we were furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed +with a quantity of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was +wanted at funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by +being dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed +with fresh water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a +bright red. + +The bottles of which I spoke were made of very thick, dark-coloured +glass, large at the bottom, and, from recollection, I should say held +something less than a gallon. + +I was once much shocked, on entering the room for the examination of +conscience, at seeing a nun hanging by a cord from a ring in the +ceiling, with her head downward. Her clothes had been tied round with a +leathern strap, to keep them in their place, and then she had been +fastened in that situation, with her head at some distance from the +floor. Her face had a very unpleasant appearance, being dark-coloured +and swollen by the rushing in of the blood; her hands were tied and her +mouth stopped with a large gag. This nun proved to be no other than +Jane Ray, who for some fault had been condemned to this punishment. + +This was not, however, a solitary case; I heard of numbers who were +"hung," as it was called, at different times; and I saw Saint Hypolite +and Saint Luke undergoing it. This was considered a most distressing +punishment; and it was the only one which Jane Ray could not endure, of +all she had tried. + +Some of the nuns would allude to it in her presence, but it usually +made her angry. It was probably practised in the same place while I was +a novice; but I never heard or thought of such a thing in those days. +Whenever we wished to enter the room for examination of conscience, we +had to ask leave; and after some delay were permitted to go, but always +under a strict charge to bend the head forward, and keep the eyes fixed +upon the floor. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders +in the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for +it--Plan--Deliberation--Attempt--Success. + + +I often seized an opportunity, when I safely could, to speak a cheering +or friendly word to one of the poor prisoners, in passing their cells, +on my errands in the cellars. For a time I supposed them to be sisters; +but I afterward discovered that this was not the case. I found that +they were always under the fear of suffering some punishment, in case +they should be found talking with a person not commissioned to attend +them. They would often ask, "Is not somebody coming?" + +I could easily believe what I heard affirmed by others, that fear was +the severest of their sufferings. Confined in the dark, in so gloomy a +place, with the long and spacious arched cellar stretching off this way +and that, visited now and then by a solitary nun, with whom they were +afraid to speak their feelings, and with only the miserable society of +each other; how gloomy thus to spend day after day, months, and even +years, without any prospect of liberation, and liable every moment to +any other fate to which the Bishop or Superior might condemn them! But +these poor creatures must have known something of the horrors +perpetrated in other parts of the building, and could not have been +ignorant of the hole in the cellar, which was not far from their cells, +and the use to which it was devoted. One of them told me, in +confidence, she wished they could get out. They must also have been +often disturbed in their sleep, if they ever did sleep, by the numerous +priests who passed through the trapdoor at no great distance. To be +subject to such trials for a single day would be dreadful; but these +nuns had them to endure for years. + +I often felt much compassion for them, and wished to see them released; +but at other times, yielding to the doctrine perpetually taught us in +the Convent, that our future happiness would be proportioned to the +sufferings we had to undergo in this world, I would rest satisfied that +their imprisonment was a real blessing to them. Others, I presume, +participated with me in such feelings. One Sunday afternoon, after we +had performed all our ceremonies, and were engaged as usual, at that +time, with backgammon and other amusements, one of the young nuns +exclaimed, "Oh, how headstrong are those wretches in the cells--they +are as bad as the day they were first put in!" + +This exclamation was made, as I supposed, in consequence of some recent +conversation with them, as I knew her to be particularly acquainted +with the older one. + +Some of the vacant cells were occasionally used for temporary +imprisonment. Three nuns were confined in them, to my knowledge, for +disobedience to the Superior, as she called it. They did not join the +rest in singing in the evening, being exhausted by the various +exertions of the day. The Superior ordered them to sing, and as they +did not comply, after her command had been twice repeated, she ordered +them away to the cells. + +They were immediately taken down into the cellar, placed in separate +dungeons, and the doors shut and barred upon them. There they remained +through that night, the following day, and second night, but were +released in time to attend mass on the second morning. + +The Superior used occasionally to show something in a glass box, which +we were required to regard with the highest degree of reverence. It was +made of wax, and called an Agnus Dei. She used to exhibit it to us when +we were in a state of grace; that is, after confession and before +sacrament. She said it had been blessed _in the very dish in which our +Saviour had eaten_. It was brought from Rome. Every time we kissed it, +or even looked at it, we were told it gave a hundred days release from +purgatory to ourselves, or if we did not need it, to our next of kin in +purgatory, if not a Protestant. If we had no such kinsman, the benefit +was to go to the souls in purgatory not prayed for. + +Jane Ray would sometimes say to me, "Let's kiss it--some of our friends +will thank us for it." + +I have been repeatedly employed in carrying dainties of different kinds +to the little private room I have mentioned, next beyond the Superior's +sitting-room, in the second story, which the priests made their "_Holy +Retreat_." That room I never was allowed to enter. I could only go to +the door with a waiter of refreshments, set it down upon a little stand +near it, give three raps on the door, and then retire to a distance to +await orders. When any thing was to be taken away, it was placed on the +stand by the Superior, who then gave three raps for me, and closed the +door. + +The Bishop I saw at least once when he appeared worse for wine, or +something of the kind. After partaking of some refreshments in the +Convent, he sent for all the nuns, and, on our appearance, gave us his +blessing, and put a piece of poundcake on the shoulder of each of us, +in a manner which appeared singular and foolish. + +There are three rooms in the Black Nunnery which I never entered. I had +enjoyed much liberty, and had seen, as I supposed, all parts of the +building, when one day I observed an old nun go to a corner of an +apartment near the northern end of the western wing, push the end of +her scissors into a crack in the panelled wall, and pull out a door. I +was much surprised, because I had never conjectured that any door was +there; and it appeared when I afterward examined the place, that no +indication of it could be discovered on the closest scrutiny. I stepped +forward to see what was within, and saw three rooms opening into each +other; but the nun refused to admit me within the door, which she said +led to rooms kept as depositories. + +She herself entered and closed the door, so that I could not satisfy my +curiosity; and no occasion presented itself. I always had a strong +desire to know the use of these apartments: for I am sure they must +have been designed for some purpose of which I was intentionally kept +ignorant, otherwise they would never have remained unknown to me so +long. Besides, the old nun evidently had some strong reasons for +denying me admission, though she endeavoured to quiet my curiosity. + +The Superior, after my admission into the Convent, had told me that I +had access to every room in the building; and I had seen places which +bore witness to the cruelties and the crimes committed under her +commands or sanction; but here was a succession of rooms which had been +concealed from me, and so constructed as if designed to be unknown to +all but a few. I am sure that any person, who might be able to examine +the wall in that place, would pronounce that secret door a surprising +piece of work. I never saw any thing of the kind which appeared to me +so ingenious and skilfully made. I told Jane Ray what I had seen, and +she said, at once, "We will get in and see what is in there." But I +suppose she never found an opportunity. + +I naturally felt a good deal of curiosity to learn whether such scenes, +as I had witnessed in the death of Saint Francis, were common or rare, +and took an opportunity to inquire of Jane Ray. Her reply was-- + +"Oh, yes; and there were many murdered while you was a novice, whom you +heard nothing about." + +This was all I ever learnt on the subject; but although I was told +nothing of the manner in which they were killed, I supposed it to be +the same which I had seen practised, viz. by smothering. + +I went into the Superior's parlour one day for something, and found +Jane Ray there alone, looking into a book with an appearance of +interest. I asked her what it was, but she made some trifling answer, +and laid it by, as if unwilling to let me take it. There are two +bookcases in the room; one on the right as you enter the door, and the +other opposite, near the window and sofa. The former contains the +lecture-books and other printed volumes, the latter seemed to be filled +with note and account books. I have often seen the keys in the +bookcases while I have been dusting the furniture, and sometimes +observed letters stuck up in the room; although I never looked into +one, or thought of doing so, as we were under strict orders not to +touch any of them, and the idea of sins and penances was always present +with me. + +Some time after the occasion mentioned, I was sent into the Superior's +room, with Jane, to arrange it; and as the same book was lying out of +the case, she said "Come, let us look into it." I immediately +consented, and we opened it, and turned over several leaves. It was +about a foot and a half long, as nearly as I can remember, a foot wide, +and about two inches thick, though I cannot speak with particular +precision, as Jane frightened me almost as soon as I touched it, by +exclaiming, "There you have looked into it, and if you tell of me, I +will of you." + +The thought of being subjected to a severe penance, which I had reason +to apprehend, fluttered me very much; and although I tried to overcome +my fears, I did not succeed very well. I reflected, however, that the +sin was already committed, and that it would not be increased if I +examined the book. I, therefore, looked a little at several pages, +though I still felt a good deal of agitation. I saw, at once, that the +volume was the record of the entrance of nuns and novices into the +Convent, and of the births that had taken place in the Convent. Entries +of the last description were made in a brief manner, on the following +plan: I do not give the names or dates as real, but only to show the +form of entering them. + + Saint Mary delivered of a son, March 16,1834. + Saint Clarice "daughter, April 2," + Saint Matilda "daughter, April, 80," + +No mention was made in the book of the death of the children, though I +well knew not one of them could be living at that time. Now I presume +that the period the book embraced, was about two years, as several +names near the beginning I knew; but I can form only a rough conjecture +of the number of infants born, and murdered of course, records of which +it contained. I suppose the book contained at least one hundred pages, +that one fourth were written upon, and that each page contained fifteen +distinct records. Several pages were devoted to the list of births. On +this supposition there must have been a large number, which I can +easily believe to have been born there in the course of two years. + +What were the contents of the other books belonging to the same case +with that which I looked into, I have no idea, having never dared to +touch one of them; I believe, however, that Jane Ray was well +acquainted with them, knowing, as I do, her intelligence and prying +disposition. If she could be brought to give her testimony, she would +doubtless unfold many curious particulars now unknown. + +I am able, in consequence of a circumstance which appeared accidental, +to state with confidence the exact number of persons in the Convent one +day of the week in which I left it. This may be a point of some +interest, as several secret deaths had occurred since my taking the +veil, and many burials had been openly made in the chapel. + +I was appointed, at the time mentioned, to lay out the covers for all +the inmates of the Convent, including the nuns in the cells. These +covers, as I have said before, were linen bands, to be bound around the +knives, forks, spoons, and napkins, for eating. These were for all the +nuns and novices, and amounted to two hundred and ten. As the number of +novices was then about thirty, I know that there must have been at that +time about one hundred and eighty veiled nuns. + +I was occasionally troubled with a desire of escaping from the nunnery, +and was much distressed whenever I felt so evil an imagination rise in +my mind. I believed that it was a sin, and did not fail to confess at +every opportunity, that I felt discontent. My confessors informed me +that I was beset by an evil spirit, and urged me to pray against it. +Still, however, every now and then, I would think, "Oh, if I could get +out!" + +At length one of the priests, to whom I had confessed this sin, +informed me, for my comfort, that he had begun to pray to Saint +Anthony, and hoped his intercession would, by-and-by, drive away the +evil spirit. My desire of escape was partly excited by the fear of +bringing an infant to the murderous hands of my companions, or of +taking a potion whose violent effects I too well knew. + +One evening, however, I found myself more filled with the desire of +escape than ever; and what exertions I made to dismiss the thought, +proved entirely unavailing. During evening prayers, I became quite +occupied with it; and when the time for meditation arrived, instead of +falling into a doze as I often did, although I was a good deal +fatigued, I found no difficulty in keeping awake. When this exercise +was over, and the other nuns were about to retire to the sleeping-room, +my station being in the private sickroom for the night, I withdrew to +my post, which was the little sitting-room adjoining it. + +Here, then, I threw myself upon the sofa, and, being alone, reflected a +few moments on the manner of escaping which had occurred to me. The +physician had arrived a little before, at half-past eight; and I had +now to accompany him, as usual, from bed to bed, with pen, ink, and +paper, to write down his prescriptions for the direction of the old +nun, who was to see them administered. What I wrote that evening, I +cannot now recollect, as my mind was uncommonly agitated; but my +customary way was to note down briefly his orders in this manner: + + 1 d salts, St. Matilde. + 1 blister, St. Geneviere, &c. &c. + +I remember that I wrote three such orders that evening, and then, +having finished the rounds, I returned for a few minutes to the +sitting-room. + +There were two ways of access to the street from those rooms: first, +the more direct, from the passage adjoining the sick-room, down stairs, +through a door, into the nunnery-yard, and through a wicket-gate; that +is the way by which the physician usually enters at night, and he is +provided with a key for that purpose. + +It would have been unsafe, however, for me to pass out that way, +because a man is kept continually in the yard, near the gate, who +sleeps at night in a small hut near the door, to escape whose +observation would be impossible. My only hope, therefore, was, that I +might gain my passage through the other way, to do which I must pass +through the sick-room, then through a passage, or small room, usually +occupied by an old nun; another passage and staircase leading down to +the yard, and a large gate opening into the cross street. I had no +liberty ever to go beyond the sick-room, and knew that several of the +doors might be fastened. Still, I determined to try; although I have +often since been astonished at my boldness in undertaking what would +expose me to so many hazards of failure, and to severe punishment if +found out. + +It seemed as if I acted under some extraordinary impulse, which +encouraged me to do what I should hardly at any other moment have +thought of undertaking. I had sat but a short time upon the sofa, +however, before I rose, with a desperate determination to make the +experiment. I therefore walked hastily across the sick-room, passed +into the nun's room, walked by her in a great hurry, and almost without +giving her time to speak or think, said--"A message!" and in an instant +was through the door and in the next passage. I think there was another +nun with her at the moment; and it is probable that my hurried manner, +and prompt intimation that I was sent on a pressing mission, to the +Superior, prevented them from entertaining any suspicion of my +intention. Besides, I had the written orders of the physician in my +hand, which may have tended to mislead them; and it was well known to +some of the nuns, that I had twice left the Convent and returned from +choice; so that I was probably more likely to be trusted to remain than +many of the others. + +The passage which I had now reached had several doors, with all which I +was acquainted; that on the opposite side opened into a community-room, +where I should probably have found some of the old inns at that hour, +and they would certainly have stopped me. On the left, however, was a +large door, both locked and barred; but I gave the door a sudden swing, +that it might creak as little as possible, being of iron. Down the +stairs I hurried, and making my way through the door into the yard, +stepped across it unbarred the great gate, and was at liberty! + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the +night--Disappointment--My first day opt of the +Convent--Solitude--Recollections, fears, and plans. + + +I have but a confused idea of the manner in which I got through some of +the doors; several of them, I am confident, were fastened, and one or +two I fastened behind me. [Footnote: Before leaving the nunnery +grounds, I ran round the end of the building, stood a moment in +hesitation whether I had not better return, then hastening back to the +other side, ran to the gate, opened it, and went out.] But I was now in +the street, and what was to be done next? I had got my liberty; but +where should I go? It was dark, I was in great danger, go which way I +would: and for a moment, I thought I had been unwise to leave the +Convent. If I could return unobserved, would it not be better? But +summoning resolution, I turned to the left, and ran some distance up +the street; then reflecting that I had better take the opposite +direction, I returned under the same Convent walls, and ran as fast +down to St. Paul's street, and turning up towards the north, exerted +all my strength, and fled for my life. It was a cold evening, but I +stopped for nothing, having recollected the house where I had been put +to board for a short time, by the priest Roque, when prepared to enter +the Convent as a novice, and resolved to seek a lodging there for the +night. Thither I went. It seemed as if I flew rather than ran. It was +by that time so dark, that I was able to see distinctly through the low +windows by the light within; and had the pleasure to find that she was +alone with her children. I therefore went boldly to the door, was +received with readiness, and entered to take up my lodging there once +more. + +Here I changed my nun's dress for one less likely to excite +observation; and having received a few dollars in addition to make up +the difference, I retired to rest, determined to rise early and take +the morning steamboat for Quebec. I knew that my hostess was a friend +of the Superior, as I have mentioned before, and presumed that it would +not be long before she would give information against me. I knew, +however, that she could not gain admittance to the Convent very early, +and felt safe in remaining in the house through the night. + +But after I had retired I found it impossible to sleep, and the night +appeared very long. In the morning early, I requested that a son of the +woman might accompany me to the steamboat, but learnt to my regret that +it would not go before night. Fearing that I might fall into the hands +of the priests, and be carried back to the nunnery, and not knowing +where to go, I turned away, and determined to seek some retired spot +immediately. I walked through a part of the city, and some distance on +the Lachine road, when finding a solitary place, I seated myself in +much distress of mind, fearful and anxious, beyond my power, of +description. I could not think myself safe anywhere in the +neighbourhood of Montreal; for the priests were numerous, and almost +all the people were entirely devoted to them. They would be very +desirous of finding me, and, as I believed, would make great exertions +to get me again in their hands. + +It was a pleasant spot where I now found myself; and as the weather was +not uncomfortable in the daytime, I had nothing to trouble me except my +recollections and fears. As for the want of food, that gave me not the +slightest uneasiness, as I felt no inclination whatever to eat. The +uncertainty and doubts I continually felt, kept me in a state of +irresolution the whole day. What should I do? Where should I go? I had +not a friend in the world to whom I could go with confidence; while my +enemies were numerous, and, it seemed to me, all around me, and ready +to seize me. I thought of my uncle, who lived at the distance of five +miles; and sometimes I almost determined to set off immediately for his +house. I had visited it often when a child, and had been received with +the utmost kindness. I remembered that I had been a great favourite of +his; but some considerations would arise which discouraged me from +looking for safety in that direction. The steamboat was to depart in a +few hours. I could venture to pass through the city once more by +twilight; and if once arrived at Quebec, I should be at a great +distance from the nunnery, in a large city, and among a larger +proportion of Protestant inhabitants. Among them I might find friends, +or, at least, some sort of protection; and I had no doubt that I could +support myself by labor. + +Then I thought again of the place I had left; the kindness and +sympathy, small though they were, which I had found in some of my late +companions in the Convent; the awful mortal sin I had committed in +breaking my vows; and the terrible punishment I should receive if taken +as a fugitive and carried back. If I should return voluntarily, and ask +to be admitted again: what would the Superior say, how would she treat +me? Should I be condemned to any very severe penance? Might I not, at +least, escape death? But then there was one consideration that would +now and then occur to me, which excited the strongest determination +never to return. I was to become a mother, and the thought of +witnessing the murder of my own child was more than I could bear. + +Purgatory was doubtless my portion; and perhaps hell for ever--such a +purgatory and hell as are painted in the Convent: but there was one +hope for me yet. + +I might confess all my deadly sins sometime before I died, and a Bishop +could pardon the worst of them. + +This was good Catholic doctrine, and I rested upon it with so much +hope, that I was not quite driven to despair. + +In reflections like these, I spent the whole day, afraid to stray from +the secluded spot to which I had retreated, though at different times +forming momentary plans to leave it, and go in various directions. I +ate not a morsel of food, and yet felt no hunger. Had I been well +provided, I could have tasted nothing in such a state of mind. The +afternoon wasted away, the sun set, and darkness began to come on: I +rose and set off again for the city. I passed along the streets +unmolested by any one; and reached it a short time before the boat was +ready to start. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to +land--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before +day--Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life. + + +Soon after we left the shore, the captain, whom I had previously seen, +appeared to recognise me. + +He came up and inquired if I was not the daughter of my mother, +mentioning her name. I had long been taught and accustomed to deceive; +and it may be supposed that in such a case I did not hesitate to deny +the truth, hoping that I might avoid being known, and fearing to be +defeated in my object. He however persisted that he knew me, and said +he must insist on my returning with him to Montreal, adding that I must +not leave his boat to land at Quebec. I said but little to him, but +intended to get on shore if possible, at the end of our journey--a +thing I had no doubt I might effect. + +When we reached Quebec, however I found, to my chagrin, that the +ladies' maid carefully locked the cabin-door while I was in, after the +ladies had left it, who were six or eight in number. + +I said little, and made no attempts to resist the restriction put upon +me; but secretly cherished the hope of being able, by watching an +opportunity, to slip on shore at tea-time, and lose myself among the +streets of the city. Although a total stranger to Quebec, I longed to +be at liberty there, as I thought I could soon place myself among +persons who would secure me from the Catholics, each of whom I now +looked upon as an enemy. + +But I soon found that my last hopes were blighted: the maid, having +received, as I presumed, strict orders from the captain, kept me +closely confined, so that escape was impossible. I was distressed, it +is true, to find myself in this condition; but I had already become +accustomed to disappointments, and therefore perhaps sunk less under +this new one, than I might otherwise have done. When the hour for +departure arrived, I was therefore still confined in the steamboat, and +it was not until we had left the shore that I was allowed to leave the +cabin. The captain and others treated me with kindness in every +respect, except that of permitting me to do what I most desired. I have +sometimes suspected, that he had received notice of my escape from some +of the priests, with a request to stop my flight, if I should go on +board his boat. His wife is a Catholic, and this is the only way in +which I can account for his conduct: still I have not sufficient +knowledge of his motives and intentions to speak with entire confidence +on the subject. + +My time passed heavily on board of the steamboat, particularly on my +passage up the river towards Montreal. My mind was too much agitated to +allow me to sleep, for I was continually meditating on the scenes I had +witnessed in the Convent, and anticipating with dread such as I had +reason to think I might soon be called to pass through. I bought for a +trifle while on board, I hardly know why, a small medallion with a head +upon it, and the name of Robertson, which I hung on my neck. As I sat +by day with nothing to do, I occasionally sunk into a doze for a few +minutes, when I usually waked with a start from some frightful dream. +Sometimes I thought I was running away from the priests, and closely +pursued, and sometimes had no hope of escape. But the most distressing +of my feelings were those I suffered in the course of the night. We +stopped some time at Berthier, where a number of prisoners were taken +on board, to be carried up the river; and this caused much confusion, +and added to my painful reflections. + +My mind became much agitated, worse than it had been before; and what +between waking fears, and sleeping visions, I spent a most wretched +night. Sometimes I thought the priests and nuns had me shut up in a +dungeon; sometimes they were about to make away with me in a most cruel +manner. Once I dreamed that I was in some house, and a coach came up to +the door, into which I was to be put by force; and the man who seized +me, and was putting me in, had no head. + +When we reached Montreal on Saturday morning, it was not daylight; and +the captain, landing, set off as I understood, to give my mother +information that I was in his boat. He was gone a long time, which led +me to conjecture that he might have found difficulty in speaking with +her; but the delay proved very favourable to me, for perceiving that I +was neither locked up nor watched, I hastened on shore, and pursued my +way into the city. I felt happy at my escape: but what was I then to +do? Whither could I go? Not to my mother: I was certain I could not +remain long with her, without being known to the priests. + +My friendlessness and utter helplessness, with the dread of being +murdered in the Convent, added to thoughts of the shame which must +await me if I lived a few months, made me take a desperate resolution, +and I hurried to put it into effect. + +My object was to reach the head of the Lachine Canal, which is near the +St. Lawrence, beyond the extremity of the southern suburbs. I walked +hastily along St. Paul's street, and found all the houses still shut; +then turning to the old Recollet Church, I reached Notre-Dame street, +which I followed in the direction I wished to go. + +The morning was chilly, as the season was somewhat advanced: but that +was of no importance to me. Day had appeared, and I desired to +accomplish the object on which I was now bent, before the light should +much increase. I walked on, therefore, but the morning had broken +bright before I arrived at the Canal; and then I found to my +disappointment that two Canadians were at work on the hank, getting +water, or doing something else. + +I was by the great basin where the boats start, and near the large +canal storehouse. I have not said what was my design; it was to drown +myself. + +Fearing the men would rescue me, I hesitated for some time, hoping they +would retire: but finding that they did not, I grew impatient. I stood +looking on the water; it was nearly on a level with the banks, which +shelved away, as I could perceive, for some distance, there being no +wind to disturb the surface. There was nothing in the sight which +seemed frightful or even forbidding to me; I looked upon it as the +means of the easiest death, and longed to be buried below. At length +finding that the men were not likely to leave the place, I sprung from +the bank, and was in an instant in the cold water. The shock was very +severe. I felt a sharp freezing sensation run through me, which almost +immediately rendered me insensible; and the last thing I can recollect +was, that I was sinking in the midst of water almost as cold as ice, +which wet my clothes, and covered me all over. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a +vagrant--Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it +to Mrs. McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New +York--Arrangements for going. + + +How long I remained in the canal I knew not; but in about three +minutes, as I conjectured, I felt a severe blow on my right side; and +opening my eyes I saw myself surrounded by men, who talked a great +deal, and expressed much anxiety and curiosity about me. They enquired +of me my name, where I lived, and why I had thrown myself into the +water: but I would not answer a word. The blow which I had felt, and +which was probably the cause of bringing me for a few moments to my +senses, I presume was caused by my falling, after I was rescued, upon +the stones, which lay thickly scattered near the water. I remember that +the persons around me continued to press me with questions, and that I +still remained silent. Some of them having observed the little +medallion on my neck, and being able to read, declared I was probably +the daughter of Dr. Robertson, as it bore the name; but to this, I also +gave no answer, and sunk again into a state of unconsciousness. + +When my senses once more returned, I found myself lying in a bed +covered up warm, in a house, and heard several persons talking of the +mass, from which they had just returned. I could not imagine where I +was, for my thoughts were not easily collected, and every thing seemed +strange around me. Some of them, on account of the name on the little +medallion, had sent to Dr. Robertson, to inform him that a young woman +had been prevented from drowning herself in the basin, who had a +portrait on her neck, with his family name stamped upon it; and he had +sent word, that although she could be no relation of his, they had +better bring her to his house, as he possibly might be able to learn +who she was. Preparations were therefore made to conduct me thither; +and I was soon in his house. This was about midday, or a little later. + +The doctor endeavored to draw from me some confession of my family: but +I refused; my feelings would not permit me to give him any +satisfaction. He offered to send me to my home if I would tell him +where I lived; but at length, thinking me unreasonable and obstinate, +began to threaten to send me to jail. + +In a short time I found that the latter measure was determined on, and +I was soon put into the hands of the jailer, Captain Holland, and +placed in a private room in his house. + +I had formerly been acquainted with his children, but had such strong +reasons for remaining unknown, that I hoped they would not recognise +me; and, as we had not met for several years I flattered myself that +such would be the case. It was, at first, as I had hoped; they saw me +in the evening, but did not appear to suspect who I was. The next +morning, however, one of them asked me if I were not sister of my +brother, mentioning his name; and though I denied it, they all insisted +that I must be, for the likeness, they said, was surprisingly strong. I +still would not admit the truth; but requested they would send for the +Rev. Mr. Esson, a Presbyterian clergyman in Montreal, saying I had +something to say to him. He soon made his appearance and I gave him +some account of myself and requested him to procure my release from +confinement, as I thought there was no reason why I should be deprived +of my liberty. + +Contrary to my wishes, however, he went and informed my mother. An +unhappy difference had existed between us for many years concerning +which I would not speak, were it not necessary to allude to it to +render some things intelligible which are important to my narrative. I +am willing to bear much of the blame: for my drawing part of her +pension had justly irritated her. I shall not attempt to justify or +explain my own feelings with respect to my mother, whom I still regard +at least in some degree as I ought. I will merely say, that I thought +she indulged in partialities and antipathies in her family during my +childhood; and that I attribute my entrance into the nunnery, and the +misfortunes I have suffered, to my early estrangement from home, and my +separation from the family. I had neither, seen her nor heard from her +in several years; and I knew not whether she had even known of my +entrance into the Convent, although I now learnt, that she still +resided where she formerly did. + +It was therefore with regret that I heard that my mother had been +informed of my condition; and that I saw an Irishwoman, an acquaintance +of hers, come to take me to the house. I had no doubt that she would +think I had disgraced her, by being imprisoned, as well as by my +attempt to drown myself; and what would be her feelings towards me, I +could only conjecture. + +I accompanied the woman to my mother's, and found nearly such a +reception as I had expected. Notwithstanding our mutual feelings were +much as they had been, she wished me to stay with her, and kept me in +one of her rooms for several weeks, and with the utmost privacy, +fearing that my appearance would lead to questions, and that my +imprisonment would become known. I soon satisfied myself that she knew +little of what I had passed through, within the few past years; and did +not think it prudent to inform her, for that would greatly have +increased the risk of my being discovered by the priests. We were +surrounded by those who went frequently to confession, and would have +thought me a monster of wickedness, guilty of breaking the most solemn +vows, and a fugitive from a retreat which is generally regarded there +as a place of great sanctity, and almost like a gate to heaven. I well +knew the ignorance and prejudices of the poor Canadians, and understood +how such a person as myself must appear in their eyes. They felt as I +formerly had, and would think it a service to religion, and to God, to +betray the place of my concealment if by chance they should find, or +even suspect it. As I had become in the eyes of Catholics, "a spouse of +Jesus Christ," by taking the veil, my leaving the Convent must appear +to them a forsaking of the Saviour. + +As things were, however, I remained for some time undisturbed. My +brother, though he lived in the house, did not know of my being there +for a fortnight. + +When he learnt it, and came to see me, he expressed much kindness +towards me: but I had not seen him for several years, and had seen so +much evil, that I knew not what secret motives he might have, and +thought it prudent to be reserved. I, therefore, communicated to him +nothing of my history or intentions, and rather repulsed his advances. +The truth is, I had been so long among nuns and priests, that I thought +there was no sincerity or virtue on earth. + +What were my mother's wishes or intentions towards me, I was not +informed: but I found afterwards, that she must have made arrangements +to have me removed from her house, for one day a woman came to the door +with a cariole, and on being admitted to see me, expressed herself in a +friendly manner, spoke of the necessity of air and exercise for my +health, and invited me to take a ride. I consented, supposing we should +soon return: but when we reached St. Antoine suburbs, she drove up to a +house which I had formerly heard to be some kind of refuge, stopped, +and requested me to alight. My first thought was, that I should be +exposed to certain detection, by some of the priests whom I presumed +officiated there; as they had all known me in the nunnery. I could not +avoid entering; but I resolved to feign sickness, hoping thus to be +placed out of sight of the priests. + +The result was according to my wishes: for I was taken to an upper +room, which was used as an infirmary, and there permitted to remain. +There were a large number of women in the house; and a Mrs. M'Donald, +who has the management of it, had her daughters in the Ursuline Nunnery +at Quebec, and her son in the college. The nature of the establishment +I could not fully understand: but it seemed to me designed to become a +nunnery at some future time. + +I felt pretty safe in the house; so long as I was certain of remaining +in the infirmary; for there was nobody there who had ever seen me +before. But I resolved to avoid, if possible, ever making my appearance +below, for I felt that I could not do it without hazard of discovery. + +Among other appendages of a Convent which I observed in that place, was +a confessional within the building, and I soon learnt, to my dismay, +that Father Bonin, one of the murderers of Saint Francis, was in the +habit of constant attendance as priest and confessor. The recollections +which I often indulged in of scenes in the Hotel Dieu, gave me +uneasiness and distress: but not knowing where to go to seek greater +seclusion, I remained in the infirmary week after week, still affecting +illness in the best manner I could. At length I found that I was +suspected of playing off a deception with regard to the state of my +health; and at the close of a few weeks, I became satisfied that I +could not remain longer without making my appearance below stairs. I at +length complied with the wishes I heard expressed, that I would go into +the community-room, where those in health were accustomed to assemble +to work, and then some of the women began to talk of my going to +confession. I merely expressed unwillingness at first; but when they +pressed the point, and began to insist, my fear of detection overcame +every other feeling, and I plainly declared that I would not go. This +led to an altercation, when the mistress of the house pronounced me +incorrigible, and said she would not keep me for a hundred pounds a +year. She, in fact, became so weary of having me there, that she sent +to my mother to take me away. + +My mother, in consequence, sent a cariole for me, and took me again +into her house; but I became so unhappy in a place where I was secluded +and destitute of all agreeable society, that I earnestly requested her +to allow me to leave Canada. I believe she felt ready to have me +removed to a distance, that she might not be in danger of having my +attempt at self-destruction, and my confinement in prison made public. + +There was a fact which I had not disclosed, and of which all were +ignorant: viz., that which had so much influence in exciting me to +leave the Convent, and to reject every idea of returning to it. + +When conversing with my mother about leaving Canada, I proposed to go +to New York. She inquired why I wished to go there. I made no answer to +that question: for, though I had never been there, and knew scarcely +anything about the place, I presumed that I should find protection from +my enemies, as I knew it was in a Protestant country. I had not thought +of going to the United States before, because I had no one to go with +me, nor money enough to pay my expenses; but then a plan presented +itself to my mind, by which I thought I might proceed to New York in +safety. + +There was a man who I presumed would wish to have me leave Canada, on +his own account; and that was the man I had so precipitately married +while residing at St. Denis. He must have had motives, as I thought, +for wishing me at a distance. I proposed therefore that he should be +informed that I was in Montreal, and anxious to go to the States; and +such a message was sent to him by a woman whom my mother knew. +[Footnote: Mrs. Tarbert, or M'Gan. See her affidavit. What house she +refers to I cannot conjecture.] She had a little stand for the sale of +some articles, and had a husband who carried on some similar kind of +business at the Scotch mountain. Through her husband, as I suppose, she +had my message conveyed, and soon informed me that arrangements were +made for my commencing my journey, under the care of the person to whom +it had been sent. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal +boat--Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat. + + +It is remarkable that I was able to stay so long in the midst of +Catholics without discovery, and at last obtain the aid of some of them +in effecting my flight. There is probably not a person in Montreal, who +would sooner have betrayed me into the power of priests than that +woman, if she had known my history. + +She was a frequent visitor at the Convent and the Seminary, and had a +ticket which entitled her every Monday to the gift of a loaf of bread +from the former. She had an unbounded respect for the Superior and the +priests, and seized every opportunity to please them. Now the fact that +she was willing to take measures to facilitate my departure from +Montreal, afforded sufficient evidence to me of her entire ignorance of +myself, in all respects in which I could wish her to be ignorant; and I +confided in her, because I perceived that she felt no stronger motive, +than a disposition to oblige my mother. + +Should any thing occur to let her into the secret of my being a +fugitive from the Black Nunnery, I knew that I could not trust to her +kindness for an instant. The discovery of that fact would transform her +into a bitter and deadly enemy. She would at once regard me as guilty +of mortal sin, an apostate, and a proper object of persecution. And +this was a reflection I had often reason to make, when thinking of the +numerous Catholics around me. How important, then, the keeping of my +secret, and my escape before the truth should become known, even to a +single person near me. + +I could realize, from the dangers through which I was brought by the +hand of God, how difficult it must be, in most cases, for a fugitive +from a nunnery to obtain her final freedom from the power of her +enemies. Even if escaped from a Convent, so long as she remains among +Catholics, she is in constant exposure to be informed against; +especially if the news of her escape is made public, which fortunately +was not the fact in my case. + +If a Catholic comes to the knowledge of any fact calculated to expose +such a person, he will think it his duty to disclose it at confession; +and then the whole fraternity will be in motion to seize her. + +How happy for me that not a suspicion was entertained concerning me, +and that not a whisper against me was breathed into the ear of a single +priest at confession! + +Notwithstanding my frequent appearance in the street, my removals from +place to place, and the various exposures I had to discovery, contrary +to my fears, which haunted me even in my dreams, I was preserved; and +as I have often thought, for the purpose of making the disclosures +which I have made in this volume. No power but that of God, as I have +frequently thought, could ever have led me in safety through so many +dangers. + +I would not have my readers imagine, however, that I had at that period +any thought of making known my history to the world. I wished to plunge +into the deepest possible obscurity; and next to the fear of falling +again into the hands of the priests and Superior, I shrunk most from +the idea of having others acquainted with the scenes I had passed +through. Such a thought as publishing never entered my mind till months +after that time. My desire was, that I might meet a speedy death in +obscurity, and that my name and my shame might perish on earth +together. As for my future doom, I still looked forward to it with +gloomy apprehensions: for I considered myself as almost, if not quite, +removed beyond the reach of mercy. During all the time which had +elapsed since I left the Convent, I had received no religious +instruction, nor even read a word in the scriptures; and, therefore, it +is not wonderful that I should still have remained under the delusions +in which I had been educated. + +The plan arranged for the commencement of my journey was this: I was to +cross the St. Lawrence to Longueil, to meet the man who was to +accompany me. The woman who had sent my message into the country, went +with me to the ferry, and crossed the river, where, according to the +appointment, we found my companion. He willingly undertook to accompany +me to the place of my destination, and at his own expense; but +declared, that he was apprehensive we should be pursued. To avoid the +priests, who he supposed would follow us, he took an indirect route, +and during about twelve days, or nearly that, which we spent on the +way, passed over a much greater distance than was necessary. It would +be needless, if it were possible, to mention all the places we visited. +We crossed Carpenter's ferry, and were at Scotch-mountain and St. +Alban's; arrived at Champlain by land, and there took the steamboat, +leaving it again at Burlington. + +As we were riding towards Charlotte, my companion entertained fears, +which, to me, appeared ridiculous; but it was impossible for me to +reason him out of them, or to hasten our journey. Circumstances which +appeared to me of no moment whatever, would influence, and sometimes +would make him change his whole plan and direction. As we were one day +approaching Charlotte, for instance, on inquiring of a person on the +way, whether there were any Canadians there, and being informed there +were not a few, and that there was a Roman Catholic priest residing +there, he immediately determined to avoid the place, and turned back, +although we were then only nine miles distant from it. + +During several of the first nights after leaving Montreal, he suffered +greatly from fear; and on meeting me in the morning, repeatedly said: +"Well, thank God, we are safe so far!" When we arrived at Whitehall, he +had an idea we should run a risk of meeting priests, who he thought, +were in search of us, if we went immediately on; and insisted that we +had better stay there a little time, until they should have passed. In +spite of my anxiety to proceed, we accordingly remained there about a +week; when we entered a canal-boat to proceed to Troy. + +An unfortunate accident happened to me while on our way. I was in the +cabin, when a gun, which had been placed near me, was started from its +place by the motion of the boat, caused by another boat running against +it, and striking me on my left side, threw me some distance. The shock +was violent, and I thought myself injured, but hoped the effects would +soon pass off. I was afterwards taken with vomiting blood; and this +alarming symptom several times returned; but I was able to keep up. + +We came without any unnecessary delay from Troy to New York, where we +arrived in the morning, either on Thursday or Friday, as I believe: but +my companion there disappeared without informing me where he was going, +and I saw him no more. Being now, as I presumed, beyond the reach of my +enemies, I felt relief from the fear of being carried back to the +nunnery, and sentenced to death or the cells: but I was in a large city +where I had not a friend. Feeling overwhelmed with my miserable +condition, I longed for death; and yet I felt no desire to make another +attempt to destroy myself. + +On the contrary, I determined to seek some solitary retreat, and await +God's time to remove me from a world in which I had found so much +trouble, hoping and believing that it would not be long. + +Not knowing which way to go to find solitude, I spoke to a little boy, +whom I saw on the wharf, and told, him I would give him some money if +he would lead me into the "_bush_". (This is the common word by which, +in Canada, we speak of the woods or forests.) When he understood what I +meant, he told me that there was no _bush_ about New York; but +consented to lead me to the most lonely place he knew of. He +accordingly set off, and I followed him, on a long walk to the upper +part of the city, and beyond, until we reached the outskirts of it. +Turning off from the road, we gained a little hollow, where were a few +trees and bushes, a considerable distance from any house; and there, he +told me, was the loneliest place with which he was acquainted. I paid +him for his trouble out of the small stock of money I had in my +possession, and let him go home, desiring him to come the next day, and +bring me something to eat, with a few pennies which I gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to +rain--Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the +Bellevue Almshouse. + + +There I found myself once more alone, and truly it was a great relief +to sit down and feel that I was out of the reach of priests and nuns, +and in a spot where I could patiently wait for death, when God might +please to send it, instead of being abused and tormented according to +the caprices and passions of my persecutors. + +But then again returned most bitter anticipations of the future. Life +had no attractions for me, for it must be connected with shame; but +death under any circumstances, could not be divested of horrors, so +long as I believed in the doctrines relating to it which had been +inculcated upon me. + +The place where I had taken up, as I supposed, my last earthly abode, +was pleasant in clear and mild weather; and I spent most of my time in +as much peace as the state of my mind would permit. I saw houses, but +no human beings, except on the side of a little hill near by, where +were some men at work, making sounds like those made in hammering +stone. The shade around me was so thick that I felt assured of being +sufficiently protected from observation if I kept still; and a cluster +of bushes offered me shelter for the night. As evening approached, I +was somewhat alarmed by the sound of voices near me, and I found that a +number of labourers were passing that way from their work. I went in a +fright to the thickest of the bushes, and lay down, until all again was +still, and then ventured out to take my seat again on the turf. + +Darkness now came gradually on; and with it fears of another +description. The thought struck me that there might be wild beasts in +that neighborhood, ignorant as I then was of the country; and the more +I thought of it, the more I became alarmed. I heard no alarming sound, +it is true; but I knew not how soon some prowling and ferocious beast +might come upon me in my defenceless condition, and tear me in pieces. +I retired to my bushes, and stretched myself under them upon the +ground: but I found it impossible to sleep; and my mind was almost +continually agitated by thoughts on the future or the past. + +In the morning the little boy made his appearance again, and brought me +a few cakes which he had purchased for me. He showed much interest in +me, inquired why I did not live in a house; and it was with difficulty +that I could satisfy him to let me remain in my solitary and exposed +condition. Understanding that I wished to continue unknown, he assured +me that he had not told even his mother about me; and I had reason to +believe that he faithfully kept my secret to the last. Though he lived +a considerable distance from my hiding-place, and, as I supposed, far +down in the city, he visited me almost every day, even when I had not +desired him to bring me any thing. Several times I received from him +some small supplies of food for the money I had given him. I once gave +him a half-dollar to get changed; and he brought me back every penny of +it, at his next visit. + +As I had got my drink from a brook or pool, which was at no great +distance, he brought me a little cup one day to drink out of; but this +I was not allowed to keep long, for he soon after told me that his +mother wanted it, and he must return it. He several times arrived quite +out of breath, and when I inquired the reason, calling him as I usually +did, "Little Tommy" he said it was necessary for him to run, and to +stay but a short time, that he might be at school in good season. Thus +he continued to serve me, and keep my secret, at great inconvenience to +himself, up to the last day of my stay in that retreat; and I believe +he would have done so for three months if I had remained there. I +should like to see him again and hear his broken English. + +I had now abundance of time to reflect on my lost condition; and many a +bitter thought passed through my mind, as I sat on the ground, or +strolled about by day, and lay under the bushes at night. + +Sometimes I reflected on the doctrines I had heard at the nunnery, +concerning sins and penances, Purgatory and Hell; and sometimes on my +late companions, and the crimes I had witnessed in the Convent. + +Sometimes I would sit and seriously consider how I might best destroy +my life; and sometimes would sing a few of the hymns with which I was +familiar; but I never felt willing or disposed to pray, as I supposed +there was no hope of mercy for me. + +One of the first nights I spent in that houseless condition was stormy; +and though I crept under the thickest of the bushes, and had more +protection against the rain than one might have expected, I was almost +entirely wet before morning; and, it may be supposed, passed a more +uncomfortable night than usual. The next day I was happy to find the +weather clear, and was able to dry my garments by taking off one at a +time, and spreading them on the bushes. A night or two after, however, +I was again exposed to a heavy rain, and had the same process afterward +to go through with: but what is remarkable, I took no cold on either +occasion; nor did I suffer any lasting injury from all the exposures I +underwent in that place. The inconveniences I had to encounter, also, +appeared to me of little importance, not being sufficient to draw off +my mind from its own troubles; and I had no intention of seeking a more +comfortable abode, still looking forward only to dying as soon as God +would permit, alone and in that spot. + +One day, however, when I had been there about ten days, I was alarmed +at seeing four men approaching me. All of them had guns, as if out on a +shooting excursion. They expressed much surprise and pity on finding me +there, and pressed me with questions. I would not give them any +satisfactory account of myself, my wants, or intentions, being only +anxious that they might withdraw. I found them, however, too much +interested to render me some service to be easily sent away; and after +some time, thinking there would be no other way, I pretended to go away +not to return. After going some distance, and remaining some time, +thinking they had probably left the place, I returned; but to my +mortification found they had concealed themselves to see whether I +would come back. They now, more urgently than before, insisted on my +removing to some other place, where I might be comfortable. They +continued to question me; but I became distressed in a degree I cannot +describe, hardly knowing what I did. At last I called the oldest +gentleman aside, and told him something of my history. He expressed +great interest for me, offered to take me anywhere I would tell him, +and at last insisted that I should go with him to his own house. All +these offers I refused; on which one proposed to take me to the +Almshouse, and even to carry me by force if I would not go willingly. + +To this I at length consented; but some delay took place, and I became +unwilling, so that with reluctance I was taken to that institution, +which was about half a mile distant. [Footnote: See the affidavit of +Mr. Hilliker, in Appendix. The letter to which he refers I had +forgotten to mention. It contains a short account of the crimes I had +witnessed in the nunnery, and was written on paper which "little Tommy" +had bought for me.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible. + +I was now at once made comfortable, and attended with kindness and +care. It is not to be expected in such a place, where so many poor and +suffering people are collected and duties of a difficult nature are to +be daily performed by those engaged in the care of the institution, +that petty vexations should not occur to individuals of all +descriptions. + +But in spite of all, I received kindness and sympathy from several +persons around me, to whom I feel thankful. + +I was standing one day at the window of the room number twenty-six, +which is at the end of the hospital building, when I saw a spot I once +visited in a little walk I took from my hiding-place. My feelings were +different now in some respects, from what they had been; for, though I +suffered much from my fears of future punishment, for the sin of +breaking my Convent vows, I had given up the intention of destroying my +life. + +After I had been some time in the Institution, I found it was reported +by some about me, that I was a fugitive nun; and it was not long after, +that an Irish woman, belonging to the Institution, brought me a secret +message, which caused me some agitation. + +I was sitting in the room of Mrs. Johnson, the matron, engaged in +sewing, when that Irish woman, employed in the Institution, came in and +told me that Mr. Conroy was below, and had sent to see me. I was +informed that he was a Roman priest, who often visited the house, and +he had a particular wish to see me at that time; having come, as I +believe, expressly for that purpose, I showed unwillingness to comply +with such an invitation, and did not go. The woman told me further, +that he sent me word that I need not think to avoid him, for it would +be impossible for me to do so. I might conceal myself as well as I +could, but I should be found and taken. No matter where I went, or what +hiding-place I might choose, I should be known; and I had better come +at once. He knew who I was; and he was authorized to take me to the +Sisters of Charity, if I should prefer to join them. He would promise +that I might stay with them if I chose, and be permitted to remain in +New York. He sent me word farther, that he had received full power and +authority over me from the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery of +Montreal, and was able to do all that she could do; as her right to +dispose of me at her will had been imparted to him by a regular writing +received from Canada. This was alarming information for me, in the +weakness in which I was at that time. The woman added, that the same +authority had been given to all the priests; so that, go where I might, +I should meet men informed about me and my escape, and fully empowered +to seize me wherever they could, and convey me back to the Convent, +from which I had escaped. + +Under these circumstances, it seemed to me that the offer to place me +among the Sisters of Charity, with permission to remain in New York, +was mild and favourable. However, I had resolution enough to refuse to +see the priest Conroy. + +Not long afterward, I was informed by the same messenger, that the +priest was again in the building, and repeated his request. I desired +one of the gentlemen connected with the Institution, that a stop might +be put to such messages, as I wished to receive no more of them. A +short time after, however, the woman told me that Mr. Conroy wished to +inquire of me whether my name was not St. Eustace while a nun, and if I +had not confessed to Priest Kelly in Montreal. I answered, that it was +all true; for I had confessed to him a short time while in the nunnery. +I was then told again that the priest wanted to see me, and I sent back +word that I would see him in the presence of Mr. Tappan, or Mr. +Stevens; which, however, was not agreed to; and I was afterwards +informed, that Mr. Conroy, the Roman priest, spent an hour in a room +and a passage where I had frequently been; but through the mercy of +God; I was employed in another place at that time, and had no occasion +to go where I should have met him. I afterwards repeatedly heard, that +Mr. Conroy continued to visit the house, and to ask for me; but I never +saw him. I once had determined to leave the Institution, and go to the +Sisters of Charity; but circumstances occurred which gave me time for +further reflection; and I _was saved from the destruction to which I +should have been exposed_. + +As the period of my accouchment approached, I sometimes thought that I +should not survive it; and then the recollection of the dreadful crimes +I had witnessed in the nunnery would come upon me very powerfully, and +I would think it a solemn duty to disclose them before I died. To have +a knowledge of those things, and leave the world without making them +known, appeared to me like a great sin: whenever I could divest myself +of the impression made upon me, by the declarations and arguments of +the Superior, nuns, and priests, of the duty of submitting to every +thing, and the necessary holiness of whatever the latter did or +required. + +The evening but one before the period which I anticipated with so much +anxiety, I was sitting alone, and began to indulge in reflections of +this kind. It seemed to me that I must be near the close of my life, +and I determined to make a disclosure at once. I spoke to Mrs. Ford, a +woman whose character I respected, a nurse in the hospital, in number +twenty-three. I informed her that I had no expectation of living long, +and had some things on my mind which I wished to communicate before it +should be too late. I added, that I should prefer to tell them to Mr. +Tappan, the chaplain, of which she approved, as she considered it a +duty to do so under those circumstances. I had no opportunity, however, +to converse with Mr. T. at that time, and probably my purpose, of +disclosing the facts already given in this book, would never have been +executed but for what subsequently took place. It was alarm which had +led me to form such a determination; and when the period of trial had +been safely passed, and I had a prospect of recovery, anything appeared +to me more likely than that I should make this exposure. + +I was then a Roman Catholic, at least a great part of my time; and my +conduct, in a great measure, was according to the faith and motives of +a Roman Catholic. Notwithstanding what I knew of the conduct of so many +of the priests and nuns, I thought that it had no effect on the +sanctity of the Church, or the authority or effects of the acts +performed by the former at the mass, confession, &c. I had such a +regard for my vows as a nun, that I considered my hand as well as my +heart irrevocably given to Jesus Christ, and could never have allowed +any person to take it. Indeed, to this day, I feel an instinctive +aversion to offering my hand, or taking the hand of another person, +even as an expression of friendship. I also thought that I might soon +return to the Catholics, although fear and disgust held me back. I had +now that infant to think for, whose life I had happily saved by my +timely escape from the nunnery; and what its fate might be, in case it +should ever fall into the power of the priests I could not tell. + +I had, however, reason for alarm. Would a child destined to +destruction, like the infants I had seen baptized and smothered, be +allowed to go through the world unmolested, a living memorial of the +truth of crimes long practised in security, because never exposed? What +pledges could I get to satisfy me, that I, on whom her dependence must +be, would be spared by those who I had reason to think were then +wishing to sacrifice me? How could I trust the helpless infant in hands +which had hastened the baptism of many such, in order to hurry them to +the secret pit in the cellar? Could I suppose that _Father Phelan, +Priest of the Parish Church of Montreal_, would see _his own child_ +growing up in the world, and feel willing to run the rink of having the +truth exposed? What could I expect, especially from him, but the utmost +rancor, and the most determined enmity against the innocent child and +its abased and defenceless mother? + +Yet, my mind would sometimes still incline in the opposite direction, +and indulge the thought, that perhaps the only way to secure heaven to +as both, was to throw ourselves back into the hands of the Church, to +be treated as she pleased. When, therefore, the fear of immediate death +was removed, I renounced all thoughts of communicating the substance of +the facts in this volume. It happened, however, that my danger was not +passed. I was soon seized with very alarming symptoms; then my desire +to disclose my story revived. + +I had before had an opportunity to speak in private with the chaplain; +but, as it was at a time when I supposed myself out of danger, I had +deferred for three days my proposed communication, thinking that I +might yet avoid it altogether. When my symptoms, however, became more +alarming, I was anxious for Saturday to arrive, the day which I had +appointed; and when I had not the opportunity on that day, which I +desired, I thought it might be too late. I did not see him till Monday, +when my prospects of surviving were very gloomy; and I then informed +him that I wished to communicate to him a few secrets, which were +likely otherwise to die with me. I then told him, that while a nun, in +the convent of Montreal, I had witnessed the murder of a nun, called +Saint Francis, and of at least one of the infants which I have spoken +of in this book. I added some few circumstances, and I believe +disclosed, in general terms, some of the other crimes I knew of in that +nunnery. + +My anticipations of death proved to be unfounded; for my health +afterward improved, and had I not made the confessions on that +occasion, it is very possible I never might have made them. I, however, +afterward, felt more willing to listen to instruction, and experienced +friendly attentions from some of the benevolent persons around me, who, +taking an interest in me on account of my darkened understanding, +furnished me with the Bible, and were ever ready to counsel me when I +desired it. + +I soon began to believe that God might have intended that his creatures +should learn his will by reading his word, and taking upon them the +free exercise of their reason, and acting under responsibility to him. + +It is difficult for one who has never given way to such arguments and +influences as those to which I had been exposed, to realize how hard it +is to think aright after thinking wrong. The Scriptures always affect +me powerfully when I read them; but I feel that I have but just begun +to learn the great truths, in which I ought to have been early and +thoroughly instructed. I realize, in some degree, how it is, that the +Scriptures render the people of the United States so strongly opposed +to such doctrines as are taught in the Black and the Congregational +Nunneries of Montreal. The priests and nuns used often to declare, that +of all heretics, the children from the United States were the most +difficult to be converted; and it was thought a great triumph when one +of them was brought over to "the true faith." The first passage of +Scripture that made any serious impression upon my mind, was the text +on which the chaplain preached on the Sabbath after my introduction +into the house--"Search the Scriptures." + +I made some hasty notes of the thoughts to which it gave rise in my +mind, and often recurred to the subject. Yet I sometimes questioned the +justice of the views I began to entertain, and was ready to condemn +myself for giving my mind any liberty to seek for information +concerning the foundations of my former faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the +priests--Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, +Burlington, St. Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at +Montreal--Reflections on passing the Nunnery, &c. + + +About a fortnight after I had made the disclosures mentioned in the +last chapter, Mr. Hoyt called at the Hospital to make inquiries about +me. I was introduced to him by Mr. Tappan. After some conversation, he +asked me if I would consent to visit Montreal, and give my evidence +against the priests and nuns before a court. I immediately expressed my +willingness to do so, on condition that I should be protected. It +immediately occurred to me, that I might enter the nunnery at night, +and bring out the nuns in the cells, and possibly Jane Ray, and that +they would confirm my testimony. In a short time, arrangements were +made for our journey, I was furnished with clothes; and although my +strength was but partially restored, I set off in pretty good spirits. + +Our journey was delayed for a little while, by Mr. Hoyt's waiting to +get a companion. He had engaged a clergyman to accompany us, as I +understood, who was prevented from going by unexpected business. We +went to Troy in a steamboat; and, while there, I had several interviews +with some gentlemen who were informed of my history, and wished to see +me. They appeared to be deeply impressed with the importance of my +testimony; and on their recommendation it was determined that we should +go to St. Alban's, on our way to Montreal, to get a gentleman to +accompany us, whose advice and assistance, as an experienced lawyer, +were thought to be desirable to us in prosecuting the plan we had in +view: viz. the exposure of the crimes with which I was acquainted. + +We travelled from Troy to Whitehall in a canal packet, because the easy +motion was best adapted to my state of health. We met on board the Rev. +Mr. Sprague of New York, with whom Mr. Hoyt was acquainted, and whom he +tried to persuade to accompany us to Montreal. From Whitehall to +Burlington we proceeded in a steamboat; and there I was so much +indisposed, that is was necessary to call a physician. After a little +rest, we set off in the stage for St. Alban's; and on arriving, found +that Judge Turner was out of town. We had to remain a day or two before +he returned; and then he said it would be impossible for him to +accompany us. After some deliberation, it was decided that Mr. Hunt +should go to Montreal with us, and that Judge Turner should follow and +join us there as soon as his health and business would permit. +[Footnote: Mr. Hunt was recommended as a highly respectable lawyer; to +whose kindness, as well as that of Judge Turner, I feel myself under +obligations.] + +We therefore crossed the lake by the ferry to Plattsburgh, where, after +some delay, we embarked in a steamboat, which took us to St. John's. +Mr. Hunt, who had not reached the ferry early enough to cross with us, +had proceeded on to ----, and there got on board the steamboat in the +night. We went on to Laprairie with little delay, but finding that no +boat was to cross the St. Lawrence at that place during the day, we had +to take another private carriage to Longeuil, whence we rowed across to +Montreal by three men, in a small boat. + +I had felt quite bold and resolute when I first consented to go to +Montreal, and also during my journey: but when I stepped on shore in +the city, I thought of the different scenes I had witnessed there, and +of the risks I might run before I should leave it. We got into a +caleche, and rode along towards the hotel where we were to stop. We +passed up St. Paul's street; and, although it was dusk, I recognised +every thing I had known. We came at length to the nunnery; and then +many recollections crowded upon me. First, I saw a window from which I +had sometimes looked at some of the distant houses in that street; and +I wondered whether some of my old acquaintances were employed as +formerly. But I thought if I were once within those walls, I should be +in the cells for the remainder of my life, or perhaps be condemned to +something still more severe. I remembered the murder of St. Francis, +and the whole scene returned to me as if it had just taken place; the +appearance, language, and conduct of the persons most active in her +destruction. Those persons were now all near me, and would use all +exertions they safely might, to get me again into their power. + +And certainly they had greater reason to be exasperated against me, +than against that poor helpless nun, who had only expressed a wish to +escape. [Footnote: My gloomy feelings however did not always prevail. I +had hope of obtaining evidence to prove my charges. I proposed to my +companions to be allowed to proceed that evening to execute the plan I +had formed when a journey to Montreal had first been mentioned. This +was to follow the physician into the nunnery, conceal myself under the +red calico sofa in the sitting-room, find my way into the cellar after +all was still, release the nuns from their cells, and bring them out to +confirm my testimony. I was aware that there were hazards of my not +succeeding, and that I must forfeit my life if detected--but I was +desperate; and feeling as if I could not long live in Montreal, thought +I might as well die one way as another, and that I had better die in +the performance of a good deed. I thought of attempting to bring out +Jane Ray--but that seemed quite out of the question, as an old nun is +commonly engaged in cleaning a community-room, through which I should +have to pass; and how could I hope to get into, and out of the +sleeping-room unobserved? I could not even determine that the +imprisoned nuns would follow me out--for they might be afraid to trust +me. However, I determined to try, and presuming my companions had all +along understood and approved my plan, told them I was ready to go at +once. I was chagrined and mortified more than I can express, when they +objected, and almost refused to permit me. I insisted and urged the +importance of the step--but they represented its extreme rashness. This +conduct of theirs, for a time diminished my confidence to them, +although everybody else has approved of it.] + +When I found myself safely in Goodenough's hotel, in a retired room, +and began to think alone, the most gloomy apprehensions filled my mind. +I could not eat, I had no appetite, and I did not sleep all night. +Every painful scene that I ever passed through seemed to return to my +mind; and such was my agitation, I could fix my thoughts upon nothing +in particular. I had left New York when the state of my health was far +from being established; and my strength, as may be presumed, was now +much reduced by the fatigue of travelling. I shall be able to give but +a faint idea of the feelings with which I passed that night, but must +leave it to the imagination of my readers. Now once more in the +neighborhood of the Convent, and surrounded by the nuns and priests, of +whose conduct I had made the first disclosures ever made, surrounded by +thousands of persons devoted to them, and ready to proceed to any +outrage, as I feared, whenever their interference might be desired, +there was abundant reason for my uneasiness. + +I now began to realize that I had some attachment to life remaining. +When I consented to visit the city, and furnish the evidence necessary +to lay open the iniquity of the Convent, I had felt, in a measure, +indifferent to life; but now, when torture and death seemed at hand, I +shrunk from it. For myself, life could not be said to be of much value. +How could I be happy with such things to reflect upon as I had passed +through? and how could I enter society with gratification? But my +infant I could not abandon, for who would care for it if its mother +died. + +I was left alone in the morning by the gentlemen who had accompanied +me, as they went to take immediate measures to open the intended +investigation. Being alone I thought of my own position in every point +of view, until I became more agitated than ever. I tried to think what +persons I might safely apply to as friends; and though still undecided +what to do, I arose, thinking it might be unsafe to remain any longer +exposed, as I imagined myself, to be known and seized by my enemies. + +I went from the hotel, [Footnote: It occurred to me, that I might have +been seen by some person on landing, who might recognise me if I +appeared in the streets in the same dress; and I requested one of the +female servants to lend me some of hers. I obtained a hat and shawl +from her with which I left the house. When I found myself in Notre Dame +street, the utmost indecision what to do, and the thought of my +friendless condition almost overpowered me.] hurried along, feeling as +if I were on my way to some asylum, and thinking I would first go to +the house where I had several times previously found a temporary +refuge. I did not stop to reflect that the woman was a devoted Catholic +and a friend to the Superior; but thought only of her kindness to me on +former occasions, and hastened along Notre Dame street. But I was +approaching the Seminary; and a resolution was suddenly formed to go +and ask the pardon and intercession of the Superior. Then the character +of Bishop Lartigue seemed to present an impassable obstacle; and the +disagreeable aspect and harsh voice of the man as I recalled him, +struck me with horror. I recollected him as I had known him when +engaged in scenes concealed from the eye of the world. The thought of +him made me decide not to enter the Seminary. I hurried, therefore, by +the door; and the great church being at hand, my next thought was to +enter there. I reached the steps, walked in, dipped my finger into the +holy water, crossed myself, turned to the first image I saw, which was +that of Saint Magdalen, threw myself upon my knees, and began to repeat +prayers with the utmost fervour. I am certain that I never felt a +greater desire to find relief from any of the Saints; but my agitation +hardly seemed to subside during my exercise, which continued, perhaps, +a quarter of an hour or more. I then rose from my knees, and placed +myself under the protection of St. Magdalen and St. Peter by these +words: "_Je me mets sous vôtre protection_"--(I place myself under your +protection;) and added, "_Sainte Marie, mère du bon pasteur, prie pour +moi_"--(Holy Mary, mother of the good shepherd, pray for me.) + +I then resolved to call once more at the house where I had found a +retreat after, my escape from the nunnery, and proceeded along the +streets in that direction. On my way, I had to pass a shop kept by a +woman [Footnote: This was Mrs. Tarbert.] I formerly had an acquaintance +with. She happened to see me passing, and immediately said, "Maria is +that you? Come in." + +I entered, and she soon proposed to me to let her go and tell my mother +that I had returned to the city. To this I objected. I went with her, +however, to the house of one of her acquaintances near by where I +remained some time, during which she went to my mother's and came with +a request from her, that I would have an interview with her, proposing +to come up and see me, saying that she had something very particular to +say to me. What this was, I could not with any certainty conjecture. I +had my suspicions that it might be something from the priests, designed +to get me back into their power, or, at least, to suppress my testimony. + +I felt an extreme repugnance to seeing my mother, and in the +distressing state of apprehension and uncertainty in which I was, could +determine on nothing, except to avoid her. I therefore soon left the +house, and walked on without any particular object. The weather was +then very unpleasant, and it was raining incessantly. To this I was +very indifferent, and walked on till I had got to the suburbs, and +found myself beyond the windmills. Then I returned, and passed back +through the city, still not recognised by anybody. + +I once saw one of my brothers, unless I was much mistaken, and thought +he knew me. If it was he, I am confident he avoided me, and that was my +belief at the time, as he went into a yard with the appearance of much +agitation. I continued to walk up and down most of the day, fearful of +stopping anywhere, lest I should be recognised by my enemies, or +betrayed into their power. I felt all the distress of a feeble, +terrified woman, in need of protection, and, as I thought, without a +friend in whom I could safely confide. It distressed me extremely to +think of my poor babe; and I had now been so long absent from it, as +necessarily to suffer much inconvenience. + +I recollected to have been told, in the New York Hospital, that +laudanum would relieve distress both bodily and mental, by a woman who +had urged me to make a trial of it. In my despair, I resolved to make +an experiment with it, and entering an apothecary's shop asked for +some. The apothecary refused to give me any; but an old man who was +there, told me to come in, and inquired where I had been, and what was +the matter with me, seeing that I was quite wet through. I let him know +that I had an infant, and on his urging me to tell more, I told him +where my mother lived. He went out, and soon after returned accompanied +by my mother, who told me she had my child at home, and pressed me to +go to her house and see it, saying she would not insist on my entering, +but would bring it out to me. + +I consented to accompany her; but on reaching the door, she began to +urge me to go in, saying I should not be known to the rest of the +family, but might stay there in perfect privacy. I was resolved not to +comply with this request, and resisted all her entreaties, though she +continued to urge me for a long time, perhaps half an hour. At length +she went in, and I walked away, in a state no less desperate than +before. Indeed, night was now approaching, the rain continued, and I +had no prospect of food, rest, or even shelter. I went on till I +reached the parade-ground, unnoticed, I believe, by anybody, except one +man, who asked where I was going, but to whom I gave no answer. I had +told my mother, before she had left me, that she might find me in the +parade-ground. There I stopped in a part of the open ground where there +was no probability of my being observed, and stood thinking of the many +distressing things which harassed me; suffering, indeed, from exposure +to wet and cold, but indifferent to them as evils of mere trifling +importance, and expecting that death would soon ease me of my present +sufferings. I had hoped that my mother would bring my babe to me there; +but as it was growing late, I gave up all expectation of seeing her. + +At length she came, accompanied by Mr. Hoyt, who, as I afterward +learnt, had called on her after my leaving the hotel, and, at her +request, had intrusted my child to her care. Calling again after I had +left her house, she had informed him that she now knew where I was, and +consented to lead him to the spot. I was hardly able to speak or to +walk, in consequence of the hardships I had undergone; but being taken +to a small inn, and put under the care of several women, I was made +comfortable with a change of clothes and a warm bed. [Footnote: I +afterward learnt, that the two gentlemen who accompanied me from the +States, had been seeking me with great anxiety all day. I persisted in +not going to my mother's, and that was the reason why we applied to +strangers for a lodging. For some time it appeared doubtful whether I +should find any refuge for the night, as several small inns in the +neighbourhood proved to be full. At length, however, lodgings were +obtained for me in one, and I experienced kindness from the females of +the house, who put me into a warm bed, and by careful treatment soon +rendered me more comfortable. I thought I heard the voice of a woman, +in the course of the evening, whom I had seen about the nunnery, and +ascertained that I was not mistaken. I forgot to mention, that, while +preparing to leave this house the next day, Mrs. Tarbert came in and +spoke with me. She said, that she had just come from the +government-house, and asked, "What are all those men at your mother's +for? what is going on there?" I told her I could not tell. She said, +"Your mother wants to speak with you very much." I told her I would not +go to her house, for I feared there was some plan to get me into the +hands of the priests. The inn in which I was, is one near the +government-house, in a block owned by the Baroness de Montenac, or the +Baroness de Longeuil, her daughter. I think it must be a respectable +house, in spite of what Mrs. Tarbert says in her affidavit. Mrs. +Tarbert is the woman spoken of several times in the "Sequel," without +being named; as I did not know how to spell her name till her affidavit +came out.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his +church--Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him. + + +In the morning I received an invitation to go to the house of a +respectable Protestant, an old inhabitant of the city, who had been +informed of my situation; and although I felt hardly able to move, I +proceeded thither in a cariole, and was received with a degree of +kindness, and treated with such care, that I must ever retain a lively +gratitude towards the family. + +On Saturday I had a visit from Dr. Robertson, to whose house I had been +taken soon after my rescue from drowning. He put a few questions to me, +and soon withdrew. + +On Monday, after the close of mass, a Canadian man came in, and entered +into conversation with the master of the house in an adjoining room. He +was, as I understood, a journeyman carpenter, and a Catholic, and +having heard that a fugitive nun was somewhere in the city, began to +speak on the subject in French. I was soon informed that Father Phelan +had just addressed his congregation with much apparent excitement about +myself; and thus the carpenter had received his information. Father +Phelan's words, according to what I heard said by numerous witnesses at +different times, must have been much like the following:-- + +"There is a certain nun now in this city, who has left our faith, and +joined the Protestants. She has a child, of which she is ready to swear +I am the father. She would be glad in this way to take away my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The devil has such a hold upon people now-a-days, that there is danger +that some might believe her story." + +Before he concluded his speech, as was declared, he burst into tears, +and appeared to be quite overcome. When the congregation had been +dismissed, a number of them came round him, and he told some of them, +that I was Antichrist; I was not a human being, as he was convinced, +but an evil spirit, who had got among the Catholics, and been admitted +into the nunnery, where I had learnt the rules so that I could repeat +them. My appearance, he declared, was a fulfilment of prophecy, as +Antichrist is foretold to be coming, in order to break down, if +possible, the Catholic religion. + +The journeyman carpenter had entered the house where I lodged under +these impressions, and had conversed some time on the subject, without +any suspicion that I was near. After he had railed against me with much +violence, as I afterwards learned, the master of the house informed him +that he knew something of the nun, and mentioned that she charged the +priests of the Seminary with crimes of an awful character; in reply to +which the carpenter expressed the greatest disbelief. + +"You can satisfy yourself," said the master of the house, "if you will +take the trouble to step up stairs: for she lives in my family." + +"I see her!" he exclaimed--"No, I would not see the wretched creature +for any thing. I wonder you are not afraid to have her in your +house--she will bewitch you all--the evil spirit!" + +After some persuasion, however, he came into the room where I was +sitting, but looked at me with every appearance of dread and curiosity; +and his exclamations, and subsequent conversation, in Canadian French, +were very ludicrous. + +"Eh bien," he began on first seeing me, "c'est ici la malheureuse?" +[Well, is this the poor creature?] But he stood at a distance, and +looked at me with curiosity and evident fear. I asked him to sit down, +and tried to make him feel at his ease, by speaking in a mild and +pleasant tone. He soon became so far master of himself, as to enter +into conversation. "I understood," said he, "that she has said very +hard things against the priests. How can that be true?" "I can easily +convince you," said I, "that they do what they ought not, and commit +crimes of the kind I complain of. You are married, I suppose?" He +assented. "You confessed, I presume, on the morning of your wedding +day?" He acknowledged that he did. "Then did not the priest tell you at +confession, that he had had intercourse with your intended bride, but +that it was for her sanctification, and that you must never reproach +her with it?" + +This question instantly excited him, but he did not hesitate a moment +to answer it. "Yes," replied he; "and that looks black enough." I had +put the question to him, because I knew the practice to which I alluded +had prevailed at St. Denis while I was there, and believed it to be +universal, or at least very common in all the Catholic parishes of +Canada. I thought I had reason to presume, that every Catholic, married +in Canada, had had such experience, and that an allusion to the conduct +of the priest in this particular, must compel any of them to admit that +my declarations were far from being incredible. This was the effect on +the mind of the simple mechanic; and from that moment he made no more +serious questions concerning my truth and sincerity, during that +interview. + +Further conversation ensued, in the course of which I expressed the +willingness which I have often declared, to go into the Convent and +point out things which would confirm, to any doubting person, the truth +of my heaviest accusations against the priests and nuns. At length he +withdrew, and afterwards entered, saying that he had been to the +Convent to make inquiries concerning me. He assured me that he had been +told that although I had once belonged to the nunnery, I was called St. +Jacques, and not St. Eustace; and that now they would not own or +recognize me. Then he began to curse me, but yet sat down, as if +disposed for further conversation. It seemed, as if he was affected by +the most contrary feelings, and in rapid succession. One of the things +he said, was to persuade me to leave Montreal. "I advise you," said he, +"to go away to-morrow." I replied that I was in no haste, and might +stay a month longer. + +Then he fell to cursing me once more: but the next moment broke out +against the priests, calling them all the names he could think of. His +passion became so high against them, that he soon began to rub himself, +as the low Canadians, who are apt to be very passionate, sometimes do, +to calm their feelings, when they are excited to a painful degree. +After this explosion he again became quite tranquil, and turning to me +in a frank and friendly manner, said: "I will help you in your measures +against the priests: but tell me, first--you are going to print a book, +are you not?" "No," said I, "I have no thoughts of that." + +Then he left the house again, and soon returned, saying he had been in +the Seminary, and seen a person who had known me in the nunnery, and +said I had been only a novice, and that he would not acknowledge me +now. I sent back word by him, that I would show one spot in the nunnery +that would prove I spoke the truth. Thus he continued to go and return +several times, saying something of the kind every time, until I became +tired of him. He was so much enraged once or twice during some of the +interviews, that I felt somewhat alarmed; and some of the family heard +him swearing as he went down stairs: "Ah, sacre--that is too black!" + +He came at last, dressed up like a gentleman, and told me he was ready +to wait on me to the nunnery. I expressed my surprise that he should +expect me to go with him alone, and told him I had never thought of +going without some protector, still assuring, that with any person to +secure my return, I would cheerfully go all over the nunnery, and show +sufficient evidence of the truth of what I alleged. + +My feelings continued to vary: I was sometimes fearful, and sometimes +so courageous as to think seriously of going into the Recollet church +during mass, with my child in my arms, and calling upon the priest to +own it. And this I am confident I should have done, but for the +persuasions used to prevent me. [Footnote: I did not make up my mind +(so far as I remember), publicly to proclaim who was the father of my +child, unless required to do so, until I learnt that Father Phelan had +denied it.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit +taken--Legal objection to it when taken. + + +Another person who expressed a strong wish to see me, was an Irish +milkman. He had heard, what seemed to have been pretty generally +reported, that I blamed none but the Irish priests. He put the +question, whether it was a fact that I accused nobody but Father +Phelan. I told him that it was not so; and this pleased him so well, +that he told me if I would stay in Montreal, I should have milk for +myself and my child as long as I lived. It is well known that strong +antipathies have long existed between the French and Irish Catholics in +the city. + +The next day the poor Irishman returned, but in a very different state +of mind. He was present at church in the morning, he said, when Father +Phelan told the congregation that the nun of whom he had spoken before, +had gone to court and accused him; and that he, by the power he +possessed, had struck her powerless as she stood before the judge, so +that she sunk helpless on the floor. He expressed, by the motion of his +hands, the unresisting manner in which she had sunk under the +mysterious influence, and declared that she would have died on the +spot, but that he had chosen to keep her alive that she might retract +her false accusion. This, he said, she did, most humbly, before the +court; acknowledging that she had been paid a hundred pounds as a bribe. + +The first words of the poor milkman, on revisiting me, therefore, were +like these: "That's to show you what power the priest has! Didn't he +give it to you in the court? It is to be hoped you will leave the city +now." He then stated what he had heard Father Phelan say, and expressed +his entire conviction of its truth, and the extreme joy he felt on +discovering, as he supposed he had, that his own priest was innocent, +and had gained such a triumph over me. + +A talkative Irish woman also made her appearance, among those who +called at the house, and urged for permission to see me. Said she, "I +have heard dreadful things are told by a nun you have here, against the +priests; and I have to convince myself of the truth. I want to see the +nun you have got in your house." When informed that I was unwell, and +not inclined at present to see any more strangers, she still showed +much disposition to obtain an interview. "Well, ain't it too bad," she +asked, "that there should be any reason for people to say such things +against the priests?" At length she obtained admittance to the room +where I was, entered with eagerness, and approached me. + +"Arrah," she exclaimed, "God bless you--is this you? Now sit down, and +let me see the child. And is it Father Phelan's, God bless you? But +they say you tell about murders; and I want to know if they are all +committed by the Irish priests." "Oh no," replied I, "by no means." +"Then God bless you," said she. "If you will live in Montreal, you +shall never want. I will see that neither you nor your child ever want, +for putting part of the blame upon the French priests. I am going to +Father Phelan, and I shall tell him about it. But they say you are an +evil spirit. I want to know whether it is so or not." "Come here," said +I, "feel me, and satisfy yourself. Besides, did you ever hear of an +evil spirit having a child?" + +I heard from those about me, that there was great difficulty in finding +a magistrate willing to take my affidavit I am perfectly satisfied that +this was owing to the influence of the priests to prevent my +accusations against them from been made public. One evening a lawyer, +who had been employed for the purpose, accompanied me to a French +justice with an affidavit ready prepared in English, for his signature, +and informed him that he wished him to administer to me the oath. +Without any apparent suspicion of me, the justice said, "Have you heard +of the nun who ran away from the Convent, and has come back to the +city, to bear witness against the priests?" "No matter about that now," +replied the lawyer hastily; "I have no time to talk with you--you will +take this person's oath now or not?" He could not read a word of the +document, because it was not in his own language, and soon placed his +signature to the bottom. It proved, however, that we had gained nothing +by this step, for the lawyer afterward informed us, that the laws +required the affidavit of a nun or minor to be taken before a superior +magistrate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections. + + +Those who had advised to the course to be pursued, had agreed to lay +the subject before the highest authorities. They soon came to the +conviction that it would be in vain to look for any favour from the +Governor, and resolved to lay it before the Attorney General as soon as +he should return from Quebec. After waiting for some time, he returned; +and I was informed, in a few days, that he had appointed an interview +on the following morning. I went at the time with a gentleman of the +city, to the house of Mr. Grant, a distinguished lawyer. In a short +time a servant invited us to walk up stairs, and we went; but after I +had entered a small room at the end of the parlour, the door was shut +behind me by Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General. A chair was given me, +which was placed with the back towards a bookcase, at which a man was +standing, apparently looking at the books; and besides the two persons +I have mentioned, there was but one more in the room, [Footnote: Unless +another was concealed--as I suspected.] Mr. Grant, the master of the +house. Of the first part of the interview I shall not particularly +speak. + +The two legal gentlemen at length began a mock examination of me, in +which they seemed to me to be actuated more by a curiosity no way +commendable, than a sincere desire to discover the truth, writing down +a few of my answers. In this, however, the person behind me took no +active part. One of the questions put to me was, "What are the colours +of the carpet in the Superior's room?" + +I told what they were, when they turned to him, and inquired whether I +had told the truth. He answered only by a short grunt of assent, as if +afraid to speak, or even to utter a natural tone; and at the same time, +by his hastiness, showed that he was displeased that my answer was +correct. I was asked to describe a particular man I had seen in the +nunnery, and did so. My examiner partly turned round with some remark +or question which was answered in a similar spirit. I turned and looked +at the stranger, who was evidently skulking to avoid my seeing him, and +yet listening to every word that was said. I saw enough in his +appearance to become pretty well satisfied that I had seen him before; +and something in his form or attitude reminded me strongly of the +person, whose name had been mentioned. I was then requested to repeat +some of the prayers used in the nunnery, and repeated part of the +office of the Virgin, and some others. + +At length, after I had been in the little room, as I should judge, +nearly an hour, I was informed that the examination had been +satisfactory, and that I might go. + +I then returned home; but no further step was taken by the Attorney +General, and he refused, as I understood, to return my affidavit, which +had been left in his hands to act upon. + +Besides the persons I have mentioned, I had interviews with numbers of +others. I learnt from some, that Father Phelan addressed his +congregation a second time concerning me, and expressly forbade them to +speak to me if they should have an opportunity, on pain of +excommunication. It was also said, that he prayed for the family I +lived with, that they might be converted. + +I repeated to several different persons my willingness to go into the +nunnery, and point out visible evidences of the truth of my statements; +and when I was told, by one man, who said he had been to the priests, +that I had better leave the city, or I would be clapped into prison, I +made up my mind that I should like to be imprisoned a little while, +because then, I thought I could not be refused a public examination. + +Some Canadians were present one day, when the mistress of the house +repeated, in my presence, that I was ready to go into the nunnery if +protected, and, if I did not convince others of the truth of my +assertions, that I would consent to be burned. + +"O yes, I dare say," replied one of the men--"the devil would take her +off--she knows he would. He would take care of her--we should never be +able to get her--the evil spirit!" + +A woman present said--"I could light the fire to burn you, myself." + +A woman of Montreal, who has a niece in the nunnery, on hearing of what +I declared about it, said that if it was true she would help tear it +down. + +Among those who came to see me, numbers were at first as violent as any +I have mentioned, but after a little conversation, became mild and +calm. I have heard persons declare, that it would be no harm to kill +me, as I had an evil spirit. + +One woman told me, that she had seen Father Phelan in the street, +talking with a man, to whom he said, that the people were coming to +tear down the house in which I stayed, intending afterward to set fire +to it in the cellar. This story gave me no serious alarm, for I thought +I could see through it evidence of an intention to frighten me, and +make me leave the city. [Footnote: I felt very confident, from some +circumstances, that this woman had been sent to bring such a story by +Father Phelan; and such evidence of his timidity rather emboldened me. +I was in another room when she came, and heard her talking on and +abusing me; then coming out, I said, "How dare you say I do not speak +the truth?" "God bless you," said she, "sit down and tell me all."] I +was under great apprehensions, however, one day, in consequence of an +accidental discovery of a plan laid to take me off by force. I had +stepped into the cellar to get an iron-holder, when I heard the voices +of persons in the street above, and recognised those of my mother and +the Irish woman her friend. There was another woman with them. + +"You go in and lay hold of her," said one voice. + +"No, you are her mother--you go in and bring her out--we will help you." + +I was almost overcome with dread of falling into their hands, believing +that they would deliver me up to the Superior. Hastening into a room, I +got behind a bed, told the lady of the house the cause of my fear, and +calling to a little girl to bring me my child, I stood in a state of +violent agitation. Expecting them in the house every instant, and +fearing my infant might cry, and so lead them to the place of my +concealment, I put my hand upon its mouth to keep it quiet. + +It was thought desirable to get the testimony of the mistress of the +house where I spent the night after my escape from the nunnery, as one +means of substantiating my story. I had been there the day before my +visit to the house of Mr. Grant, accompanied by a friend, and on my +first inquiring of her about my nunnery dress, she said she had carried +it to the Superior; speaking with haste, as if she apprehended I had +some object very different from what I actually had. It now being +thought best to summon her as a witness before a magistrate, and not +knowing her whole name, we set off again towards her house to make +inquiry. + +On our way we had to pass behind the parade. I suddenly heard an outcry +from a little gallery in the rear of a house which fronts another way, +which drew my attention. "There's the nun!" exclaimed a female, after +twice clapping her hands smartly together, "There's the nun, there's +the nun!" + +I looked up, and whom should I see but the Irishwoman, who had taken so +active a part, on several occasions in my affairs, on account of her +friendship for my mother--the same who had accompanied me to Longeuil +in a boat, when I set out for New York, after making arrangements for +my journey. She now behaved as if exasperated against me to the utmost; +having, as I had no doubt, learnt the object of my journey to Montreal +since I had last spoken with her, and having all her Catholic +prejudices excited. She screamed out: "There's the nun that's come to +swear against our dear Father Phelan. Arrah, lay hold, lay hold upon +her! Catch her, kill her, pull her to pieces." + +And so saying she hurried down to the street, while a number of women, +children, and some men, came running out, and pursued after me. I +immediately took to flight, for I did not know what they might do; and +she, with the rest, pursued us, until we reached two soldiers, whom we +called upon to protect us. They showed a readiness to do so; and when +they learnt that we were merely going to a house beyond, and intended +to return peaceably, consented to accompany us. The crowd, which might +rather be called a mob, thought proper not to offer us any violence in +the presence of the soldiers, and after following us a little distance, +began to drop off, until all had disappeared. One of the soldiers, +however, soon after remarked, that he observed a man following us, whom +he had seen in the crowd, and proposed that instead of both of them +going before us, one should walk behind, to guard against any design he +might have. This was done; and we proceeded to a house near the one +where I had found a refuge, and after obtaining the information we +sought, returned, still guarded by the soldiers. + +All our labour, in this, however, proved unavailing; for we were unable +to get the woman to appear in court. + +At length it was found impossible to induce the magistrates to do any +thing in the case; and arrangements were made for my return to New +York. While in the ferry-boat, crossing from Montreal to Laprairie, I +happened to be standing near two little girls, when I overheard, the +following conversation. + +"Why do you leave Montreal so soon?" + +"I had gone to spend a week or two; but I heard that Antichrist was in +the city, and was afraid to be there. So I am going right home. I would +not be in Montreal while Antichrist is there. He has come to destroy +the Catholic religion." I felt quite happy when I found myself once +more safe in New York; and it has only been since my return from +Montreal, and the conviction I had there formed, that it was in vain +for me to attempt to get a fair investigation into the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, that I seriously thought of publishing a book. Under some +disadvantages this volume has been prepared, and unfortunately its +publication has been delayed to a season when it will be difficult to +transmit it promptly to all parts of the country. I am sure, however, +that in spite of all, no material errors will be found in it +uncorrected, though many, very many, facts and circumstances might have +been added which would have proved interesting. Indeed I am persuaded, +from the experience I have already had, that past scenes, before +forgotten, will continue to return to my memory, the longer I dwell +upon my convent life, and that many of these will tend to confirm, +explain, or illustrate some of the statements now before the public. + +But before I close this volume, I must be indulged in saying a word of +myself. The narrative through which the reader has now passed, he must +not close and lay aside as if it were a fiction; neither would I wish +him to forget the subject of it as one worthy only to excite surprise +and wonder for a moment. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +It is desired that the author of this volume may be regarded, not as a +voluntary participator in the very guilty transactions which are +described; but receive sympathy for the trials which she has endured, +and the peculiar situation in which her past experience, and escape +from the power of the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, +and the snares of the Roman priests in Canada, have left her. + +My feelings are frequently distressed, and agitated, by the +recollection of what I have passed through; and by night, and by day, I +have little peace of mind, and few periods of calm and pleasant +reflection. Futurity also appears uncertain. I know not what reception +this little work may meet with; and what will be the effect of its +publication here, or in Canada, among strangers, friends, or enemies. I +have given the world the truth, so far as I have gone, on subjects of +which I am told they are generally ignorant; and I feel perfect +confidence, that any facts which may yet be discovered, will confirm my +words, whenever they can be obtained. Whoever shall explore the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, will find unquestionable evidence that the +descriptions of the interior of that edifice, given in this book, were +furnished by one familiar with them; for whatever alterations may be +attempted, there are changes which no mason or carpenter can make and +effectually conceal; and therefore, there must be plentiful evidence in +that institution of the truth of my description. + +There are living witnesses, also, who ought to be made to speak, +without fear of penances, tortures, and death; and possibly their +testimony, at some future time, may be added to confirm my statements. +There are witnesses I should greatly rejoice to see at liberty; or +rather there _were_. Are they living now? or will they be permitted to +live after the Priests and Superior have seen this book? Perhaps the +wretched nuns in the cells have already suffered for my sake--perhaps +Jane Ray has been silenced for ever, or will be murdered, before she +has an opportunity to add her most important testimony to mine. + +But speedy death, in respect only to this world, can be no great +calamity to those who lead the life of a nun. The mere recollection of +it always makes me miserable. It would distress the reader, should I +repeat the dreams with which I am often terrified at night; for I +sometimes fancy myself pursued by my worst enemies; frequently I seem +as if shut up again in the Convent; often I imagine myself present at +the repetition of the worst scenes that I have hinted at or described. +Sometimes I stand by the secret place of interment in the cellar; +sometimes I think I can hear the shrieks of helpless females in the +hands of atrocious men; and sometimes almost seem actually to look +again upon the calm and placid countenance of Saint Francis, as she +appeared when surrounded by her murderers. + +I cannot banish the scenes and characters of this book from my memory. +To me it can never appear like an amusing fable, or lose its interest +and importance, the story is one which is continually before me, and +must return fresh to my mind, with painful emotions, as long as I live. +With time, and Christian instruction, and the sympathy and example of +the wise and good, I hope to learn submissively to bear whatever trials +are appointed for me, and to improve under them all. + +Impressed as I continually am with the frightful reality of the painful +communications that I have made in this volume, I can only offer to all +persons who may doubt or disbelieve my statements, these two things:-- + +Permit me to go through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, with some +impartial ladies and gentlemen, that they may compare my account with +the interior parts of that building, into which no persons but the +Roman Bishop and the priests, [Footnote: I should have added, and such +persons as they introduce.] are ever admitted; and if they do not find +my description true, then discard me as an impostor. Bring me before a +court of justice--there I am willing to meet _Lartigue, Dufresne, +Phelan, Bonin_, and _Richards_, and their wicked companions, with the +Superior, and any of the nuns, before ten thousand men. + +MARIA MONK. + +_New York, 11th January, 1836._ + + + + +THE TRUTH + +of the + +"AWFUL DISCLOSURES BY MARIA MONK" + +DEMONSTRATED. + +1. _Early means used to discredit the took. Different of +objectors_.--It was anticipated that persons who know little or nothing +of the changeless spirit and uniform practices of the Papal +ecclesiastics, would doubt or deny the statements which Maria Monk has +given of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. The delineations, if true, +are so loathsome and revolting, that they exhibit the principles of the +Roman priesthood, and the corruption of the monastic system, as +combining a social curse, which must be extinguished for the welfare of +mankind. + +From the period when the intimations were first published in the +Protestant Vindicator, that a Nun had escaped from one of the Convents +in Canada, and that a narrative of the secrets of that prison-house for +females was preparing for the press; attempts have occasionally been +made to prejudice the public judgment, by fulsome eulogies of the Roman +Priests and Nuns, as paragons of immaculate perfection; and also by +infuriated denunciations and calumnies of all persons, who seriously +believe that every human institution which directly violates the +constitution of nature, and the express commands of God, must +necessarily be immoral. + +The system of seclusion and celibacy adopted in Convents is altogether +unnatural, and subverts all the appointments of Jehovah in reference to +the duties and usefulness of man; while the impenetrable secrecy, which +is the cement of the gloomy superstructure, not only extirpates every +incentive to active virtue, but unavoidably opens the flood-gates of +wickedness, without restraint or remorse, because it secures entire +impunity. + +Since the publication of the "Awful Disclosures," much solicitude has +been felt for the result of the exhibitions which they present us: but +it is most remarkable, that the incredulity is confined almost +exclusively to Protestants, or at least, to those who pretend not to be +Papists. The Roman Priests are too crafty to engage directly in any +controversy respecting the credibility of Maria Monk's narrative. As +long as they can induce the Roman Catholics privately to deny the +statements, and to vilify Christians as the inventors of falsehoods +concerning "the Holy Church and the Holy Priests!" so long will they +laugh at the censures of the Protestants; and as long as they can +influence the Editors of political papers vociferously to deny +evangelical truth, and to decry every attempt to discover the secrets +of the Romish priestcraft as false and uncharitable, so long will the +Jesuits ridicule and despise that incredulity which is at once so +blinding, deceitful, and dangerous. + +The volume entitled "Awful Disclosures by Maria Monk," has been +assailed by two classes of Objectors. Some persons affirm that they +cannot, and that they will not believe her narrative, because it is so +improbable. Who is to judge of the standard of improbabilities? +Assuredly not they who are ignorant of the whole subject to which those +improbabilities advert. Now it is certain, that persons who are +acquainted with Popery, are generally convinced, and readily agree, +that Maria Monk's narrative, is very much assimilated to the abstract +view which a sound judgment, enlightened by the Holy Scriptures, would +form of that antichristian system, as predicted by the prophet Daniel, +and the apostles, Peter, Paul, and John. + +2. _The question of Probability_.--But the question of probabilities +may be tested by another fact; and that is the full, unshaken +conviction, and the serious declaration of many persons who have lived +in Canada, that Maria Monk's allegations against the Roman Priests and +Nuns in that province, are precisely the counterpart of their ordinary +character, spirit, and practice. There are many persons now residing in +the city of New York, who long dwelt in Montreal and Quebec; and who +are thoroughly acquainted with the situation of affairs among the +Canadian Papists--and such of them as are known, with scarcely a +dissenting voice, proclaim the same facts which every traveller, who +has any discernment or curiosity, learns when he makes the northern +summer tour. It is also indubitable, that intelligent persons in Canada +generally, especially residents in Montreal and Quebec, who have no +inducement either to falsify or to conceal the truth, uniformly +testify, that the nunneries in those cities are notorious places of +resort for the Roman Priests for habitual and unrestrained +licentiousness; that, upon the payment of the stipulated price to the +Chaplain, other persons, in the disguise of Priests, are regularly +admitted within the Convents for the same infamous purpose; and that +many Infants and Nuns, in proportion to the aggregate amount of the +whole body of females, are annually murdered and buried within their +precincts. All this turpitude is as assuredly believed by the vast +majority of the enlightened Protestants, as well as by multitudes of +even the Papists in Montreal and Quebec, as their own existence; and +judging from their declarations, they have no more doubt of the fact, +than they have of the summer's sunshine, and the winter's frost and +snow. Of what value, therefore, is the cavil of ignorance respecting +improbabilities? + +But it is also objected, that the British government would not tolerate +such a system of enormous wickedness. To which it is replied, that the +inordinate licentiousness of the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +demonstrated to be of long standing by the archives of that Province, +as may be seen in Smith's History of Canada; year 1733, Chapter 5, p. +194. + +The author of that work is Secretary of the Province; and his narrative +was compiled immediately from the public documents, which are under his +official guardianship and control. He thus writes:--"The irregularities +and improper conduct of the Nuns of the General Hospital had been the +subject of much regret and anxiety. Contrary to every principle of +their institution, they frequently accepted of invitations to dinners +and suppers, and mixed in society, without considering the vows which +restricted them to their Convent. The king of France directed a letter, +Maurepas' letter of April 9, 1733, to be written to the Coadjutor of +Quebec, by the minister having the department of the Marine; importing +that the king was much displeased with the Nuns--that regularity and +order might be restored by reducing the nuns to the number of twelve, +according to their original establishment--and that, as the management +and superintendence of the community had been granted to the Governor, +Prelate, and Intendant, the Coadjutor should take the necessary +measures to prevent them from repeating conduct so indecent and +improper." + +The entire affair seems to have been this; that the Nuns of Quebec at +that period preferred the gallant military officers, and their +bewitching festivities, to the coarser and less diversified indulgences +of the Jesuits; upon which the latter murmured, and resolved to hinder +the soldiers from intruding into their fold, and among the cloistered +females, to visit whom they claimed as their own peculiar privilege, +inseparably attached to their priestly character and ecclesiastical +functions. It is infallibly certain that after a lapse of 100 years, +neither the Jesuits nor the Nuns in Canada, are in the smallest +particle reformed. + +The British government, by the treaty made upon the surrender of that +province to them, guarantied to the Papal Ecclesiastics, both male and +female, their prior exemptions and special immunities. Many of the +officers of the Government in Canada, who have long resided there, are +anxious to see the nunneries and their adjuncts totally extirpated; and +it may be safely asserted that they know the character given of those +institutions by Maria Monk is a graphical picture of their continuous +doings. + +The British government, for the purpose of retaining their supremacy +over the province, have not only connived at those irregularities, but +have always enjoined that the public sanction should be given to their +puerile shows, and their pageant, pompous processions by the attendance +of the civil and military officers upon them, and by desecrating the +Lord's day with martial music, &c. In this particular affair, the +executive officers of the Provincial Government are fully apprised of +all the substantial facts in the case; for an affidavit of the +principal circumstances was presented to Mr. Ogden, the Attorney +General of Canada, and to Mr. Grant, another of the King's counsellors: +and afterward Maria Monk did undergo an examination by those gentlemen, +in the house of Mr. Grant, at Montreal, in the presence of Mr. Comte, +one of the superior order of priests of that city; and of another +Priest, believed to be either Phelan or Dufresne, who was concealed +behind the sofa. + +It is also incontrovertible, that the nominal Papists in Canada, who, +in reality, are often infidels, notwithstanding their jocose sneers, +and affected contempt, do generally believe every title of Maria Monk's +narrative. This is the style in which they talk of it. They first, +according to custom, loudly curse the authors; for to find a Papist +infidel who does not break the third commandment, is as difficult as to +point out a moral Roman Priest or a chaste Nun. They first swear at the +author, and then, with a hearty laugh, add the following +illustration:--"Everybody knows that the Priests are a jolly set of +fellows, who live well, and must have license, or they would be +contrary to nature. They have the privilege of going into the +nunneries, and they would be great fools if they did not use and enjoy +it!" Such is the exact language which is adopted among the Canadians; +and such are the precise words which have been used by Canadian +gentlemen in New York, when criticising Maria Monk's volume. It affords +stronger proof than a direct attestation. + +The other class of persons who verily believe the "Awful Disclosures," +are the religious community in Canada. We think that scarcely a +well-informed person can be discovered in Montreal or Quebec, who does +not feel assured, that the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery is most +faithfully depicted by Maria Monk. Many persons are now inhabitants of +New York who formerly resided in Montreal, some of whom have been upon +terms of familiar intimacy for years with those Roman Priests, who are +specified as the principal actors in the scenes depicted in that book; +and they most solemnly declare, that they have no doubt of the truth of +Maria Monk's narrative. + +Mr. _Samuel B. Smith_, who has been not only a Roman Priest, but has +had several _cages of nuns_ under his sole management, questioned Maria +Monk expressly respecting those affairs, customs and ceremonies, which +appertain only to nunneries, because they cannot be practiced by any +other females but those who are shut up in those dungeons; and, after +having minutely examined her, he plainly averred that it was manifest +she could not have known the things which she communicated to him +unless she had been a nun; not merely a scholar, or a temporary +resident, or even a novice, but a nun, who had taken the veil, in the +strictest sense of the appellative. This testimony is of the more +value, because the conclusion does not depend upon any conflicting +statements, of partial or prejudicial witnesses, but upon a fact which +is essential to the system of monachism; that no persons can know all +the secrets of nunneries, but the Chaplain, the Abbess, and their +accomplices in that "mystery of iniquity." Mr. Smith's declaration in +one other respect is absolutely decisive. He has declared not only that +Maria Monk has been a nun, but also that the descriptions which she +gives are most minutely accurate. + +Mr. Smith also testifies that the account which Maria Monk gives of the +proceedings of the priests, the obscene questions which they ask young +females, and their lewd practices with them at auricular confession, +are constantly exemplified by the Roman Priests; and he also confirms +her statements, by the testimony of his own individual experience, and +actual personal acquaintance with the Canadian nunneries, as well as +with those in the United States, and especially of that at Monroe, +Michigan, which was dissolved by Mr. Fenwick, on account of scandalous +impurity, several years ago. + +Mrs. ----, a widow lady now in New York, who formerly was a Papist in +Montreal, and was recently converted to Christianity, solemnly avers, +that the Priest Richards himself, conducted her from the Seminary +through the subterraneous passage to the nunnery, and describes the +whole exactly in accordance with the statement of Maria Monk. + +_Mr. Lloyd_, who was in business a number of years adjacent to the +nunnery, and who is intimately acquainted with those priests, their +characters, principles, and habits, avows his unqualified conviction of +the truth of the "Awful Disclosures." + +_Mr. Hogan_, who was eighteen months in the Jesuit Seminary at +Montreal, and in constant intercourse and attendance upon Lartigue and +his accomplices, unequivocally affirms, that Maria Monk's complex +description of those Priests are most minutely and accurately true. + +One hundred other persons probably can be adduced, who, during their +residence in Canada, or on their tours to that province, by inquiries +ascertained that things in accordance with Maria Monk's delineations +are the undoubted belief of each class of persons, and of every variety +of condition, and in all places which they visited in Lower Canada. + +_Mr. Greenfield_, the father of the gentleman who owns the two +steamboats on the river St. Lawrence, called the Lady of the Lake, and +the Canadian Eagle, who is a citizen of New York, avows his unqualified +assent to all Maria Monk's statements, and most emphatically +adds--_"Maria Monk has not disclosed one tenth part of the truth +respecting the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada."_ + +Fifty other persons from that province, now residing in New York, +likewise attest the truth of the "Disclosures." + +At Sorel, Berthier, and Three Rivers, the usual stopping-places for the +steamboats on the River St. Lawrence, the Priests, if they have any +cause to be at the wharf, may be seen accompanied by one or more +children, their _"Nephews,"_ as the Priests _facetiously_ denominate +their offspring; and if any person on the steamboat should be heard +expatiating upon the piety, the temperance, the honesty, or the purity +of Roman Priests and Nuns, he would be laughed at outright, either as a +_natural_ or an ironical jester; while the priest himself would join in +the merriment, as being a "capital joke." + +We are assured by the most indisputable authority in Montreal, that the +strictly religious people in that city do generally credit Maria Monk's +statements without hesitation; and the decisive impression of her +veracity can never be removed. If it were possible at once to reform +the nunneries, and to transform them from castles of ignorance, +uncleanness, and murder, where all their arts are concealed in +impervious secrecy, into abodes of wisdom, chastity, and benevolence to +every recess of which all persons, at every hour, might have +unrestricted admission--that would not change the past; it would leave +them indelibly branded with the emphatical title applied to the nunnery +at Charlestown, "FILTHY, MURDEROUS DENS." + +3. _Who are those who deny the truth of the book? Case of Father +Conroy. Father Conroy's deception._ + +In addition to the objections from improbability, another series of +opposition consists of flat, broad denials of the truth of Maria Monk's +"Awful Disclosures." This mode of vanquishing direct charges is even +more invalid than the former futile cavilling. It is also remarkable, +when we remember who are the persons that deny the statements made by +Maria Monk. Are they the Roman Priests implicated? Not at all. They are +too crafty. The only persons who attempt to hint even a suspicion of +the truth of the secrets divulged in the "Awful Disclosures," are +editors of Newspapers: some of whom are ever found on the side of +infidelity and vice; men always reproaching religion; and directly +calumniating, or scornfully ridiculing the best Christians in the land; +and profoundly ignorant of Popery and Jesuitism, and the monastic +system. + +It is true that Priest Conroy of New York, has contradicted in general +terms the truth of the statement respecting himself, and his attempt to +abduct Maria Monk from the Almshouse. But what does he deny? He is +plainly charged, in the "Awful Disclosures," with a protracted +endeavor, _by fraud or by force to remove Maria Monk from that +institution_. Now that charge involves a flagrant misdemeanor, or it is +a wicked and gross libel. Let him answer the following questions: + +Did he not frequently visit the house, and lurk about at various times, +for longer and shorter periods, expressly to have an interview with +Maria Monk? + +Did he not state that he was acquainted with her by the name she bore +in the nunnery, _Sainte Eustace_. + +Did he not declare that he was commissioned by Lartigue, Phelan, +Dufresne, Kelly, and the Abbess of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, +to obtain a possession of her, that she might be sent back to the abode +of the Furies? + +Did he not offer her any thing she pleased to demand, provided she +would reside with the Ursulines of this city? + +Did he not also declare that he would have her at all risks, and that +she could not escape him? + +Did he not persevere in this course of action, until he was positively +assured that she would not see him, and that the Priest Conroy should +not have access to Maria Monk? + +Was not the priest Kelly, from Canada, in New York at that period, +prompting Conroy; and did not that same Kelly come on here expressly to +obtain possession of Maria Monk, that he might carry her back to the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, there to murder her, as his accomplices have +smothered, poisoned, and bled to death other victims of their beastly +licentiousness? + +All these questions are implied in Maria Monk's statement, and they +involve the highest degree of crime against the liberty, rights, and +life of Maria Monk, and the laws of New York, and the charge is either +true or false. Why does not the Priest Conroy try it? Why does he not +demonstrate that he is calumniated, by confronting the Authoress and +Publishers of the book before an impartial jury. We are assured that +the Executive committee of the New York Protestant Association will +give ten dollars to any Lawyer, whom Mr. Conroy will authorize to +institute a civil suit for libel, payable at the termination of the +process. Will he subject the question to that scrutiny? _Never_. He +would rather follow the example of his fellow priests, and depart from +New York. Many of the Maynooth Jesuits, after having fled from Ireland +for their crimes, to this country, to avoid the punishments due to them +for the repetition of them in the United States, and to elude +discovery, have assumed false names and gone to France; or in disguise +have joined their dissolute companions in Canada. + +It is also a fact, that the Priest, named Quarter, with one of his +minions, did visit the house where Maria Monk resides, on the 13th day +of February, 1836; and did endeavor to see her alone, under the false +pretext of delivering to her a packet from her brother in Montreal; and +as an argument for having an interview with her without company, one of +the two impostors did protest that he had a parcel from John Monk; +which "he had sworn not to deliver except into the hands of his sister +in person." Now what object had Mr. Quarter in view; and what was his +design in going to her residence between nine and ten o'clock at night, +under a lying pretence? Mr. Quarter comes from Canada. He knows all the +Priests of Montreal. For what purpose did he assume a fictitious +character, and utter base and wilful falsehoods, that, he might have +access to her, with another man, when Maria Monk, as they hoped, would +be without a protector? For what ignoble design did he put an old Truth +Teller into a parcel, and make his priest-ridden minion declare that it +was a very valuable packet of letters from John Monk? That strange +contrivance requires explanation. Did Priest Quarter believe that Maria +Monk was in Montreal? Did he doubt her personal identity? Does not that +fact alone verity that all the Roman Priests are confederated? Does it +not prove that her delineations are correct? Does it not evince that +the Papal Ecclesiastics dread the disclosures? + +4. _The great ultimate test which the nature of this case demands. +Challenge of the New York Protestant Association_.--It is readily +admitted, that the heinous charges which are made by Maria Monk against +the Roman priests cannot easily be rebutted in the usual form of +disproving criminal allegations. The denial of those Priests is good +for nothing, and they cannot show an alibi. But there is one mode of +destroying Maria Monk's testimony, equally _prompt_ and _decisive_, and +no other way is either feasible, just, or can be efficient. That method +is the plan proposed by the New York Protestant Association. + +The Hotel Dieu Nunnery is in Montreal. Here is Maria Monk's description +of its interior apartments and passages. She offers to go to Montreal +under the protection of a committee of four members of the New York +Protestant Association, and in company with four gentlemen of Montreal, +to explore the Nunnery; and she also voluntarily proposes that if her +descriptions of the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery are not found to +be true, she will surrender herself to Lartigue and his confederates to +torture her in what way they may please, or will bear the punishment of +the civil laws as a base and wilful slanderer of the Canadian Jesuit +Ecclesiastics. + +When Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, Phelan, Richards, and their fellows, +accede to this proposition, we shall hesitate respecting Maria Monk's +veracity; until then, by all impartial and intelligent judges, and by +enlightened Protestants and Christians, the "Awful Disclosures" will be +pronounced undeniable facts. The scrutiny, however, respecting Maria +Monk's credibility comprises two general questions, to which we shall +succinctly reply. + +1. _Was Maria Monk a Nun in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal?_--In +ordinary cases, to dispute respecting a circumstance of that kind would +be deemed a most strange absurdity; and almost similar to an inquiry +into a man's personal identity when his living form is before your +eyes. Maria Monk says she was a nun, presents you a book descriptive of +the Convent in which she resided, and leaves the fact of her abode +there to be verified by the minute accuracy of her delineations of +arcana, with which only the visiting Roman Priests and the imprisoned +nuns are acquainted. That test, neither Lartigue nor the Priests will +permit to be applied; and therefore, so far, Maria Monk's testimony +cannot directly be corroborated. It is however not a little remarkable, +that no one of all the persons so boldly impeached by her of the most +atrocious crimes, has, even whispered a hint that she was not a nun; +while the priest Conroy has confirmed that fact far more certainly than +if he had openly asserted its truth. + +5. _The Testimony of Mrs. Monk considered._--The only evidence against +that fact is her mother. Now it is undeniable, that her mother is a +totally incompetent witness. She is known in Montreal to be a woman of +but little principle; and her oath in her daughter's favour would be +injurious to her; for she is so habitually intemperate, that it is +questionable whether she is ever truly competent to explain any matters +which come under her notice. Truth requires this declaration, although +Maria, with commendable filial feelings, did not hint at the fact. +Besides, during a number of years past, she has exhibited a most +unnatural aversion, or rather animosity, to her daughter; so that to +her barbarous usage of Maria when a child, may be imputed the +subsequent scenes through which she has passed. When appealed to +respecting her daughter, her uniform language was such as this--"I do +not care what becomes of her, or who takes her, or where she goes, or +what is done to her, provided she keeps away from me." It is also +testified by the most unexceptionable witnesses in Montreal, that when +Maria Monk went to that city in August, 1835, and first made known her +case, that Mrs. Monk repeatedly declared, that her daughter had been a +Nun; and that she had been in the Nunneries at Montreal a large portion +of her life. She also avowed, that the offer of bribery that had been +made unto her, had been made, not by Protestants, to testify that her +daughter Maria had been an inmate of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery; but by the +Roman Priests, who had promised her one hundred dollars, if she would +make an affidavit that Maria had not been in that nunnery at all; and +would also swear to any other matters which they dictated. Now there is +little room for doubt, that the affidavit to the truth of which she +finally swore was thus obtained; for she has not capacity to compose +such a narrative, nor has she been in a state of mind, for a number of +years past, to understand the details which have thus craftily been +imposed upon the public in her name. When she had no known inducement +to falsify the fact in August, 1835, before the Priests became alarmed, +then she constantly affirmed that her daughter had been a Nun; but +after Lartigue and his companions were assured that her daughter's +narrative would appear, then the mother was probably bribed, formally +to swear to a wilful falsehood; for it is most probable, that she +either did not see, or from intoxication could not comprehend, the +contents of the paper to which her signature is affixed. Her habitual +intemperance, her coarse impiety, her long-indulged hatred and cruelty +towards her daughter, and her flat self-contradictions, with her +repeated and public declarations, that she had been offered a large sum +of money by the Montreal Priests, thus to depreciate her daughter's +allegations, and to attest upon oath precisely the contrary to that +which she had previously declared, to persons whose sole object was to +ascertain the truth--all those things demonstrate that Mrs. Monk's +evidence is of no worth; and yet that is all the opposite evidence +which can be adduced. + +6. _Testimony in favour of the book_.--Mr. Miller the son of Adam +Miller, a well known teacher at St. John's, who has known Maria Monk +from her childhood, and who is now a resident of New York, solemnly +attests, that in the month of August, 1833, he made inquiries of Mrs. +Monk respecting her daughter Maria, and that Mrs. Monk informed him +that Maria was then a _Nun!_ that she had taken the veil previous to +that conversation, and that she had been in the nunnery for a number of +years. Mr. Miller voluntarily attests to that fact. He was totally +ignorant of Maria Monk's being out of the Nunnery at Montreal, until he +saw her book, and finally by searching out her place of abode, renewed +the acquaintance with her which had existed between them from the +period when she attended his father's school in her childhood. See the +affidavit of William Miller. + +When Maria Monk made her escape, as she states, from the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, she took refuge in the house of a woman named Lavalliere in +Elizabeth street, Montreal, the second or third door from the corner of +what is commonly called "the Bishop's Church." Madame Lavalliere +afterward admitted, that Maria Monk did arrive at her house at the time +specified, in the usual habiliments of a Nun, and made herself known as +an eloped Nun; that she provided her with other clothing; and that she +afterward carried the Nun's garments to the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +After her escape, Maria Monk narrates that she went on board a +steamboat for Quebec, intending thereby to avoid being seized and again +transferred to the Nunnery, that she was recognised by the Captain, was +kept under close watch during the whole period of the stay of that boat +at Quebec, and merely by accident escaped the hands of the Priests, by +watching for an unexpected opportunity to gain the shore during the +absence of the Captain, and the momentary negligence of the female +attendant in the cabin. The woman was called Margaret ----, the other +name is forgotten. The name of the Master of the steamboat is probably +known and he has never pretended to deny that statement, that he did +thus detain Maria Monk, would not permit her to go on shore at Quebec, +and that he also conducted her back to Montreal; having suspected or +ascertained that she was a Nun who had clandestinely escaped from a +Convent. + +7. _Corroborative evidence unintentionally furnished by the opponents +of the book_.--After her flight from the steamboat, she was found early +in the morning, in a very perilous situation, either on the banks, or +partly in Lachine Canal, and was committed to the public prison by Dr. +Robertson, whence she was speedily released through the intervention of +Mr. Esson, one of the Presbyterian ministers of Montreal. Upon this +topic, her statement coincides exactly with that of Dr. Robertson. + +But he also states--"Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria +Monk's story, I thought it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry +concerning it, and have ascertained where she has been residing a great +part of the time she states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. +During the summer of 1832, she was at service at William Henry; the +winters of 1832-3, she passed in this neighborhood at St. Ours and St. +Denis." + +That is most remarkable testimony, because, although Papists may justly +be admitted to know nothing of times and dates, unless by their +Carnivals, their Festivals, their Lent, or their Penance--yet +Protestant Magistrates might be more precise. Especially, as it is a +certain fact, that no person at Sorel can be discovered, who is at all +acquainted with such a young woman in service in the summer of 1832. It +is true, she did reside at St. Denis or St. Ours, as the _Roman Priests +can testify_; but not at the period specified by Dr. Robertson. + +For the testimony of a decisive witness in favour of Maria Monk, see +the statement of an old schoolmate in Appendix. + +8. _Summary view of the evidence_.--Let us sum up this contradictory +evidence respecting the simple fact, whether Maria Monk was a resident +of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery or not? + +Her mother says--"I denied that my daughter had ever been in a +Nunnery." Dr. Robertson informed us--"I have ascertained where she has +been residing a great part of the time she states having been an inmate +of the Nunnery." That is all which can be adduced to contradict Maria +Monk's statement. + +This is a most extraordinary affair, that a young woman's place of +abode cannot be accurately discovered during several years, when all +the controversy depends upon the fact of that residence. Why did not +Dr. Robertson specify minutely with whom Maria Monk lived at service at +William Henry, in the summer of 1832?--Why did not Dr. Robertson +exactly designate where, and with whom, she resided at St. Denis and +St. Ours, in the winters of 1832 and 1833? The only answer to these +questions is this--_Dr. Robertson cannot_. He obtained his +contradictory information most probably from her mother, or from the +Priest Kelly, and then embodied it in his affidavit to regain that +favour and popularity with the Montreal Papists which he has so long +lost. We are convinced that neither the evidence of Mrs. Monk, nor Dr. +Robertson, would be of a feather's weight in a court of justice against +the other witnesses, Mrs. ----, and Mr. William Miller. + +Maria Monk asserts, that she was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery +during the period designated by Dr. Robertson, which is familiarly +denominated the Cholera summer. In her narrative she develops a variety +of minute and characteristic details of proceedings in that +Institution, connected with things which all persons in Montreal know +to have actually occurred, and of events which it is equally certain +did happen, and which did not transpire anywhere else; and which is +impossible could have taken place at Sorel or William Henry; because +there is no Nunnery there; and consequently her descriptions would be +purely fabricated and fictitious. + +But the things asserted are not inventions of imagination. No person +could thus delineate scenes which he had not beheld; and therefore +Maria Monk witnessed them; consequently, she was a member of that +family community; for the circumstances which she narrates nowhere else +occurred. At all events, it seems more reasonable to suppose that an +individual can more certainly tell what had been his own course of +life, than persons who, by their own admission, know nothing of the +subject; and especially when her statements are confirmed by such +unexceptionable witnesses. There are, however, two collateral points of +evidence which strongly confirm Maria Monk's direct statements. One is +derived from the very character of the acknowledgments which she made, +and the period when they were first disclosed. "A death-bed," says the +Poet, "is a detector of the heart." Now it is certain, that the +appalling facts which she states, were not primarily made in a season +of hilarity, or with any design to "make money" by them, or with any +expectation that they would be known to any other person than Mr. +Hilliker, Mr. Tappan, and a few others at Bellevue; but when there was +no anticipation that her life would be prolonged, and when agonized +with the most dreadful retrospection and prospects. + +It is not possible to believe, that any woman would confess those facts +which are divulged by Maria Monk, unless from dread of death and the +judgment to come, or from the effect of profound Christian penitence. +Feminine repugnance would be invincible. Thus, the alarm of eternity, +her entrance upon which appeared to be so immediate, was the only cause +of those communications; which incontestably prove, that Nunneries are +the very nurseries of the most nefarious crimes, and the most abandoned +transgressors. + +The other consideration is this--that admitting the statements to be +true, Maria Monk could not be unconscious of the malignity of Roman +Priests, and of her own danger; and if her statements were fictitious, +she was doubly involving herself in irreparable disgrace and ruin. In +either case, as long as she was in New York she was personally safe; +and as her disclosures had been restricted to very few persons, she +might have withdrawn from the public institution, and in privacy have +passed away her life, "alike unknowing and unknown." Lunacy itself +could only have instigated a woman situated as she was, to visit +Montreal, and there defy the power, and malice, and fury of the Roman +Priests, and their myrmidons; by accumulating upon them charges of +rape, infanticide, the affliction of the tortures of the Inquisition, +and murders of cold-blooded ferocity in the highest degree, with all +the atrocious concomitant iniquities which those prolific sins include. + +Now it is certain, that she was not deranged; and she was not forced. +She went deliberately, and of her own accord, to meet the Popish +Priests upon the spot where their crimes are perpetrated, and the +stronghold of their power. Whether that measure was the most prudent +and politic for herself, and the most wise and efficient for the +acquisition of the avowed object, may be disputed; but the exemplary +openness and the magnanimous daring of that act cannot be controverted. + +The narrative, pages 116 to l27, respecting the cholera and the +election riots at Montreal, both which scenes happened at the period +when Dr. Robertson says Maria Monk was at William Henry, or St. Denis, +or St. Ours; could not have been described, at least that part of it +respecting the wax candles, and the preparation for defence, except by +a resident of the Nunnery. + +It is a public, notorious fact, that "blessed candles" were made, and +sold by the Nuns, and used at Montreal under the pretext to preserve +the houses from the Cholera, and to drive it away; that those candles +were directed so to be kept burning by the pretended injunction of the +Pope; and that large quantities of the Nunnery candles were dispersed +about Montreal and its vicinity, which were fixed at a high price; and +whoever suffered by the Cholera, the Nuns and their Masters, the +Priests, could truly say--"By this craft we have our wealth." Acts +19:25. It is obvious, that a young Papist woman at service at William +Henry, could know no more of those matters, than if she had been at +Labrador; for the incidental remark with which that part of the +narrative commences, is one of those apparently superfluous +intimations, which it is evident a person who was writing a fiction +would not introduce; and yet it is so profoundly characteristic of a +Canadian Convent, that its very simple artlessness at once obliterates +Dr. Robertson's affidavit. "There were a few instances, and only a few, +in which we knew any thing that was happening in the world; and even +then our knowledge did not extend out of the city." We cannot be +infallibly certain of Maria Monk's description of the interior of the +Nunnery; but that unpremeditated remark, so minutely descriptive of the +predominating ignorance among the Nuns of all terrestrial concerns +exterior of the Convent, is satisfactory proof that the narrator was +not sketching from fancy, but depicting from actual life. + +From those testimonies, direct and unintentional, it is fully evident, +that Maria Monk was a long resident, and is profoundly acquainted with +the doings in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal. + +II. What collateral evidence can be adduced of the truth of the "Awful +Disclosures" by Maria Monk? + +1. One corroborative testimony is derived from the _silence of the +Roman Priests and their avowed partisans_. Months have passed away +since the first statements of those matters were made, and also the +defence of the Priests, with the affidavits and other connected +circumstances, were presented to the public in the Protestant +Vindicator. One of the persons in Montreal, who was in favour of the +Jesuits, Mr. Doucet, stated that "the Priests never take up such +things; they allow their character to defend itself." There was a time +when that contemptuous course would have sufficed, or rather, when to +have spoken the truth of the Roman Priests would have cost a man his +life, and overwhelmed his family in penury, disgrace, and anguish. The +Canadian Jesuits may be assured that time has passed away, never more +to return. They must take up this thing; for their characters cannot +defend themselves; and every enlightened man in Canada knows, that in a +moral aspect, they cannot be defended. + +Argument, denial, affidavits, if they could reach from Montreal to New +York, and the oaths of every Papist and Infidel in Canada,--from Joseph +Signay, the Popish Prelate of Quebec and Jean Jacques Lartigue, the +Suffragan of Montreal, down to the most profligate of the half-pay +military officers, among whom are to be found some of the dregs of the +British army, all of them will avail nothing. They are not worth a puff +of wind against the internal evidence of Maria Monk's book, in +connexion with the rejection of the proposal of the New York Protestant +Association, that the Nunnery shall undergo a strict and impartial +examination. It is one of the remarkable evidences of the extraordinary +delusion which blinds, or the infatuation which enchains the public +mind, that men will not credit the corruptions and barbarities of +Romanism. To account for this stupefaction among persons who are wide +awake to every other system of deadly evil, is almost impossible. +Popery necessarily extirpates the rights of man. It ever has destroyed +the well-being of society. By it, all municipal law and domestic +obligations are abrogated: It always subverts national prosperity and +stability; and it is the invincible extinguisher of all true morality +and genuine religion. Notwithstanding, men will give credence neither +to its own avowed principles, character, and spirit; nor to the +unavoidable effects which constantly have flowed from its operations +and predominance. + +In any other case but one exposing the abominations of Popery, such a +volume as Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" would have been received +without cavil; and immediate judicial measures would have been adopted, +to ascertain the certainty of the alleged facts, and the extent and +aggravation of their criminality. But now persons are calling for more +evidence, when, if they reflected but for a moment, they would +perceive, that the only additional evidence possible, is under the +entire control of the very persons who are criminated; and to whom the +admission of further testimony would be the accumulation of indelible +ignominy. + +The pretence, that it is contrary to their rules to allow strangers to +explore the interior of a nunnery, only adds insult to crime. Why +should a Convent be exempt from search, more than any other edifice? +Why should Roman Priests be at liberty to perpetrate every deed of +darkness in impenetrable recesses called nunneries? Why should one body +of females, shut up in a certain species of mansion, to whom only one +class of men have unrestricted access, be excluded from all public and +legal supervision, more than any other habitation of lewd women, into +which all men may enter? As citizens of the United States, we do not +pretend to have any authoritative claim to explore a convent within the +dominion of a foreign potentate. The Roman Priests of Canada, exercise +a vast influence, and are completely intertwined with the Jesuits, in +this republic. Therefore, when they remember the extinction of the +nunneries at Monroe, Michigan, Charlestown, and Pittsburg; and when +they recollect, that the delineations of Maria Monk, if they produce no +effect in Canada, will assuredly render female convents in the United +States very suspicious and insecure; if they have any solicitude for +their confederates, they will intrepidly defy research, and dauntlessly +accept the offer of the New York Protestant Association: that a joint +committee of disinterested, enlightened and honorable judges, should +fully investigate, and equitably decide upon the truth or falsehood of +Maria Monk's averments. Their ominous silence, their affected contempt, +and their audacious refusal, are calculated only to convince every +impartial person, of even the smallest discernment, of the real state +of things in that edifice; that the chambers of pollution are above, +and that the dungeon of torture and death are below; and that they +dread the exposure of the theatre on which their horrible tragedies are +performed. + +It is also a fact publicly avowed by certain Montreal Papists +themselves, and extensively told in taunt and triumph, that they have +been employed as masons and carpenters by the Roman Priests, since +Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in August, 1835, expressly to alter +various parts of the Hotel Dieu Convent, and to close up some of the +subterraneous passages and cells in that nunnery. This circumstance is +not pretended even to be disputed or doubted; for when the dungeons +under ground are spoken of before the Papists, their remark is this: +"Eh bien! mais vous ne les trouverez pas, à present; on les a caché +hors de vue. Very well, you will not find them there now; they are +closed up, and out of sight." Why was the manoeuvre completed? +Manifestly, that in urgent extremity, a casual explorer might be +deceived, by the apparent proof that the avenues, and places of +imprisonment and torture which Maria Monk describes are not +discoverable. Now that circumstance might not even been suspected, if +the Papist workmen themselves had not openly boasted of the chicanery +by which the Priests, who employed them, expected to blind and deceive +the Protestants. For in reference to the Romanists, a Popish Priest +well knows that nothing more is necessary than for him to assert any +absurdity, however gross or impossible, and attest it by the five +crosses on his vestments, and his own superstitious vassal believes it +with more assurance than his own personal identity. But the filling up +and the concealment of the old apertures in the nunnery, by the order +of the Roman Priests are scarcely less powerful corroborative proof of +Maria Monk's delineations, than ocular and palpable demonstration. + +2. Some of the circumstances attending Maria Monk's visit to Montreal, +in August, 1835, add great weight in favour of the truth, which no +cavils, skepticism, scorn, nor menaces, can counterbalance. + +We will however state one very recent occurrence, because it seems to +us, that it alone is almost decisive of the controversy. A counsellor +of Quebec--his name is omitted merely from delicacy and prudential +considerations--has been in New York since the publication of the +"Awful Disclosures" His mind was so much influenced by the perusal of +that volume, that he sought out the Authoress, and most closely +searched into the credibility of her statements. Before the termination +of the interview, that gentleman became so convinced of the truth of +the picture which Maria Monk drew of the interior of the Canadian +Nunneries, that he expressed himself to the following effect:--"My +daughter, about 15 years of age, is in the Ursuline Convent at Quebec. +I will return home immediately; and if I cannot remove her any other +way, I will drag her out by the hair of her head, and raise a noise +about their ears that shall not soon be quieted." + +That gentleman did so return to Quebec, since which he has again +visited New York; and he stated, that upon his arrival in Quebec, he +went to the Convent, and instantly removed his daughter from the +Ursuline Nunnery; from whom he ascertained, as far as she had been +initiated into the mysteries, that Maria Monk's descriptions of +Canadian Nunneries, are most minutely and undeniably accurate. + +We have already remarked, that Mrs. ----, Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Hogan, and Mr. +Smith, who was a Papist Priest, with scores of other persons who +formerly resided in Montreal, all express their unqualified belief of +the statements made by Maria Monk. Mr. Ogden's acquaintance with the +facts, as Attorney General, and that of other officers of the +Provincial Government, have also been noticed. The ensuing additional +circumstances are of primary importance to a correct estimate of the +value which should be attached to the crafty silence of the Roman +Priests and the impudent denials of infidel profligates. + +Mr. Bouthillier, one of the Montreal Magistrates, called at Mr. +Johnson's house where Maria Monk stayed, in the month of August, 1835, +when visiting Montreal. + +He addressed her and said:--"There is some mystery about Novices--What +is it? and asked how long a woman must be a novice before she can take +the veil?" Having been answered, Mr. Bouthillier then desired Maria +Monk to describe the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. As soon as it +was done, he became enraged, and said--"Vous dites un mensonge, vous en +savez. You lie, you know you do?"--Mr. Bouthillier next inquired--"Was +Mr. Tabeau in the Holy Retreat when you left the Convent?" She answered +"Yes." To which he replied in French--"Anybody might have answered that +question." Something having been said about the Hotel Dieu Nuns being +confined to their convent, Mr. Bouthillier declared, that they were +allowed to go about the streets. He was told that could not be the +case, for it was a direct violation of the rules for Nuns to depart +from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. He replied--"Ce n'est pas vrai. That is +not true," Mr. Bonthillier then became very angry, and applied to Maria +Monk some very abusive epithets, for which a gentleman in the room +reproved him. It was evident, that he lost his temper because he had +lost his argument, and his hopes of controverting her statements. + +On the Lord's day after Maria Monk's arrival in Montreal, and when the +matter had become well known and much talked about, Phelan, the Priest, +at the end of mass, addressed the Papists, who were assembled to hear +mass, to this effect: "There is a certain nun in this city who has left +our faith, and joined the Protestants. She has a child of which she is +ready to swear I am the father. She wishes in this way to take my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The Devil now has such hold upon people that there is danger lest some +might believe her story." He then pretended to weep, and appeared to be +overcome with feeling. A number of the people gathered around him, and +he said: "That nun is Antichrist. She is not a human being, but an evil +spirit, who got among the Catholics, and _was admitted into the +nunnery_, where she learned the rules." He also stated, that "in that +nun, the prophecy respecting the coming of Antichrist is fulfilled, to +break down the Catholic religion." Such was Phelan's address to the +people. He declared that Maria Monk had been a nun. Now he knew her, +for he saw her in Montreal, where she could not know him. It would have +saved all further inquiry and research, if, instead of denouncing her +after mass, he had merely assented to Maria Monk's proposition, to be +confronted with those Roman Priests and nuns before impartial witnesses +in the Hotel Dieu Convent. + +One of the most impressively characteristic circumstances which +occurred during Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in Aug. 1835, was an +interview at Mr. Johnson's house with a carpenter who had heard +Phelan's denunciation of Maria Monk after mass. + +The heinous destruction of all domestic confidence and of all female +purity, is known to be the constant and general practice, not only in +Canada, but in all other Popish countries, and among Papists in every +part of the world. For in truth it is only fulfilling the authentic +dogmas of their own system. The following authoritative principles are +divulged in the Corpus Juris Canonici, which contains the Decretals, +Canons, &c. of the Popes and Councils; and other participants of the +pretended Papal infallibility. "If the Pope fall into homicide or +adultery, he cannot be accused, but is excused by the murders of +Samson, and the adultery of David." Hugo, Glossa, distinc. 40 Chapter, +Non vos.--"Likewise if any Priest is found embracing a woman, it must +be presupposed and expounded that he doth it to bless her!"--Glossa, +Caus. 12. Quest. 3. Chapter Absis. According to the Pope's bull he who +does not believe those doctrines is accursed. + +As that carpenter was completely overcome by the recollection of the +Priest's information and caution about his marriage, he desisted from +any further questions; but upon Maria Monk's declaration, that she was +desirous to go into the convent, and prove all her accusations against +the Priests and Nuns, he withdrew. Soon after he returned, and stated, +that he had been to the Convent, to inquire respecting her; and that he +had been informed, that she had once belonged to the Nunnery; but that +they would not any longer own or recognise her. Afterwards he exhibited +the most contradictory emotions, and first cursed Maria Monk; then +reviled the Priests, applying to them all the loathsome epithets in the +Canadian vocabulary. Subsequently, he went to make inquiries at the +Seminary; and after his return to Mr. Johnson's house he declared, that +the persons there had informed him, that Maria Monk had lived in the +Nunnery, but not as a Nun; then he offered to assist her in her +endeavours to expose the Priests; and finally disappeared, swearing +aloud as he was retiring from the house; and apparently thinking over +the conduct of the Priest to his wife before their marriage. "Oh, +sacre!"--he repeated to himself--"c'est trop mechant!" + +Similar facts to the above occurred frequently during the time of Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal--in which strangers who called upon her, +cursed and reviled her; then believed her statements and assented to +them--and displayed all the natural excitement which was necessarily +comprised in the working of their own belief and convictions of the +iniquity of the Priests, and the dread resulting from their own +superstitious vassalage, and the certainty of a heavy penance. + +But in connexion with the preceding collateral evidence is another +remarkable circumstance, which is this: the extensive knowledge which +Maria Monk has obtained of the Canadian Jesuits. Those with whom she +has been acquainted, she affirms that she could instantly identify. For +that object, she has given a catalogue of those Priests whose names and +persons are in some degree familiarly known to her. As the Priests are +often changing their abodes, and many of them residents in Montreal +until a vacancy occurs for them in the country parishes, in those +particulars there may be a trifling mistake; but Maria Monk solemnly +avers, that the Priests, whether dead or living, who are enumerated in +the subsequent catalogue, either have dwelt or do yet reside in the +places specified. When unexpectedly and closely examined in reference +to the Priests of the same name, she particularly distinguished them, +and pointed out the difference between them in their persons, gait, +&c.; thus precluding all objection from the fact of there being more +than one Priest with a similar appellative. This circumstance +particularly is illustrated by the Priests named Marcoux, of whom she +says there are three brothers or first cousins--two called Dufresne, +&c.: each of whom she graphically depicts. It is also certain, because +she has done it in a great variety of instances, and in the presence of +many different persons, all of whom are well acquainted with them, that +she describes Lartigue; Dufresne; Richard; Phelan; Bonin; Comte; +Bourget; McMahon; Kelly; Demers; Roux; Roque; Sauvage; Tabeau; Marcoux; +Morin; Durocher; and all the Roman Priests around Montreal, with the +utmost minuteness of accuracy; while the Chaplain of the Ursuline +Nunnery at Quebec, Father Daulè, is as exactly depicted by her, as if +her whole life had been passed under his _surveillance_. Some of the +appellatives in the ensuing catalogue may not be correctly spelt. +Scarcely any thing is more difficult than to acquire proper names in a +foreign language; and especially where the pronunciation itself is +provincial, as is the case with Canadian French; and when also those +titles have to be transcribed from the mouth of a person who knows no +more of orthoepy and orthography than a Canadian Nun. However, Maria +Monk attests, that the Priests to whom she refers did reside at those +places which she has designated, and that she has seen them all in the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery--some of them very often, and others on a variety of +occasions. + +Nothing is more improbable, if not impossible, than that any Papist +girl should have such an extensive acquaintance among Roman Priests. In +Canada especially, where the large majority of females have little more +correct knowledge of that which occurs out of their own district than +of Herschel's astronomical discoveries, young women cannot be +personally familiar with any Priests, in ordinary cases, except those +who may have been "Curés" of the parish in which they reside, or of the +immediate vicinity, or an occasional visitor during the absence, or +sickness, or death of the resident Curate or Missionary. +Notwithstanding, Maria Monk delineates to the life, the prominent +features, the exact figure, and the obvious characteristic exterior +habits and personal appearance of more than one hundred and fifty of +those Priests, scattered about in all parts of Canada; Among others she +particularly specifies the following men: but some of whom she notes as +dead. Others she has named, but as her recollections of them are less +distinct, they are not enumerated. Jean Jacques Lartigue, Bishop of +Telmese, Montreal. The Irish Priest McMahon, who has resided both in +Montreal and Quebec. M. Dufrense, St. Nicholas. L. Cadieux, Vicar +General, Three Rivers. F. F. Marcoux, Maskinonge. S. N. Dumoulin, +Yamachiche. A. Leclerc, Yomaska. V. Fournier, Baie du Febre. J. Demers, +St. Gregoire. C. B. Courtain, Gentilly. T. Pepin, St. Jean. Ignace +Bourget, Montreal. The Priest Moor, Missionary. J. C. Prince, Montreal. +J. M. Sauvage, Montreal. J. Comte, Montreal. J. H. A. Roux, Vicar +General, Montreal. J. Roque, Montreal. A. Malard, Montreal. A. L. +Hubart, Montreal. A. Satin, Montreal. J. B. Roupe, Montreal. Nic. +Dufresne, Montreal. J. Richard, Montreal. C. Fay, Montreal. J. B. St. +Pierre, Montreal. F. Bonin, P. Phelan, Montreal. T. B. M'Mahon, Perce. +J. Marcoux, Caghuawaga. C. De Bellefeuille, Lake of two Mountains. +Claude Leonard, Montreal. F. Durocher, Lake of two Mountains. G. +Belmont, St. Francis. F. Demers, Vicar General, St. Denis. J. O. +Giroux, St. Benoit. J. B. St. Germain, St. Laurent. J. D. Delisle, St. +Cesaire. J. M. Lefebvre, St. Genevieve. F. Pigeon, St. Philippe. A. +Duransau, Lachine. O. Chevrefils, St. Constant. Joseph Quiblier, +Montreal. Francis Humbert, Montreal. J. Arraud, Montreal. O. +Archambault, Montreal. J. Larkin, Montreal. F. Sery, Montreal. R. +Larre, Montreal. A. Macdonald, Montreal. F. Larkin, Montreal. J. +Beauregard, Montreal. R. Robert, Montreal. J. Fitz Patrick, Montreal. +J. Toupin, Montreal. W. Baun, Montreal. T. Filiatreault. Montreal. J. +Brady, Montreal. P. Trudel, St. Hyacinth. John Grant, St. Hyacinth. J. +Delaire, Chambly. J. Desautels, Chambly. P. D. Ricard, St. Joachim. +Jan. Leclaire, Isle Jesus. F. M. Turcot, St. Rose. C. Larocque, +Berthier, T. Brassard, St. Elizabeth. J. B. Keller, St. Elizabeth. J. +Ravienne, Lanorate. J. T. Gagno, Valtrie. Gasford Guingner, St. +Melanie. L. Nicholas Jacques, St. Sulpice. J. Renucalde, St. Jaques. T. +Can, St. Esprit. C. J. Ducharme, St. Therese. J. Valliée, St. +Scholastique. J. J. Vinet, Arganteuil. M. Power, Beauharnois. J. B. +Labelle, Chateauguay. E. Bietz, St. Constant. P. Bedard, St. Remi. C. +Aubry, St. Athanase. L. Vinet, Noyon. J. Roque, Noyon. J. Zeph, Carren. +F. Berauld, St. Valentia. A. Maresseau, Longueuil. P. Brunet, ----. J. +Odelin, Rounilli. J. B. Dupuis, ----. L. Nau, Rouville. A. O. Giroux, +St. Marc. G. Marchesseau, ----. J. B. Belanger, St. Ours. H. Marcotte, +Isle du Pads. E. Crevier, Yamaska. G. Arsonault, ----. Eusebe Durocher, +----. D. Denis, St. Rosalie. F. X. Brunet, St. Damase. J.A. Boisond, +St. Pie. M. Quintal, St. Damase. L. Aubry, Points Calire. P. Tetro, +Beauharnois. B. Ricard, St. Constant. M. Morin, Maskonche. J. Crevier, +Blairfindie. P. Grenier, Charteaguay. A. Darocher, Pointe aux Trembles. +P. Murcure, La Presentation. R. Gaulin, Dorchester. H. L. Girouard, St. +Hyacinthe. J. Paquin, Blairfinde. E. Brassard, St. Polycarpe. J. +Boissonnault, Riviere des Prairies. F. N. Blanchet, Soulanges. E. +Lavoie, Blairfindie. J. B. Kelly, Sorel. E. Morriset, St. Cyprian. H. +Hudon, Argenteuil. M. Brudet, St. Martin. P. P. Archambault, Vaudreuil. +J. B. Boucher, La Prairie. J. Quevillion, St. Ours. A. Chaboillez, +Longueuil. P. J. Delamothe, St. Scholastique. T. Lagard, St. Vincent. +J. Durocher, St. Benoit. Antoine Tabeau, Vicar General, Montreal. J. F. +Hebard, St. Ours. F. A. Trudeau, Montreal. M. J. Felix, St. Benoit. L. +Lamothe, Bethier. J. Moirier, St. Anne. F. J. Deguise, Vicar General, +Varennes. J. B. Bedard, St. Denis. R. O. Brunsau, Vercheres. F. +Portier, Terrebonne. P. D. Ricard, Berthier. L. Gague, Lachenaie. +Joseph Belanger, Chambly. M. Blanchet, St. Charles. P. M. Mignault, +Chambly. F. Labelle, L'Assumption. F. Marcoux, St. Barthelemi. N. L. +Amiot, Repentigny. J. B. Boucher, Chambly. P. Lafranc, St. Jean +Baptiste. P. Robitaille, Monnie. F. De Bellefeullie, St. Vincent. M. +Brassard, St. Elizabeth. P. Cousigny, St. Mathias. J. D. Daule, Quebec. + +It is readily admitted, that any person could take one of the +Ecclesiastical Registers of Lower Canada, and at his option mark any +number of the Roman Priests in the catalogue, and impute to them any +crime which he pleased. But if the accuser were closely examined, and +among such a multitude of Priests, who in all their clothing are +dressed alike, were called upon minutely to delineate them, it is +morally impossible, that he could depict more than a hundred Priests +dispersed from the borders of Upper Canada to Quebec, in as many +different parishes, with the most perfect accuracy, unless he was +personally and well acquainted with them. + +Maria Monk, however, does most accurately describe all the Priests in +the preceding catalogue, and repeats them at the expiration of weeks +and months; and the question is this: how is it possible that she could +have become acquainted with so many of that body, and by what means can +she so precisely depict their external appearance?--The startling, but +the only plausible answer which can be given to that question is +this:--that she has seen them in the Nunnery, whither, as she +maintains, most of them constantly resorted for licentious intercourse +with the Nuns. + +One other connected fact may here be introduced. Maria Monk well knows +the Lady Superior of the Charlestown Nunnery. That acquaintance could +not have been made in the United States, because Saint Mary St. George +as she called herself, or Sarah Burroughs, daughter of the notorious +Stephen Burroughs, as is her real name, removed to Canada at the latter +end of May, 1835; nor could it have been prior to the establishment of +the Charlestown Nunnery, for at that period Maria Monk was a child, and +was not in any Convent except merely as a scholar; and Mary St. George +was at Quebec. How then did she become so familiar with that far-famed +lady as to be able to describe her so exactly? The only answer is, that +she derived her knowledge of the Charlestown Convent and of its +Superior, from the intimations given, and from intercourse with that +Nun in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +Young females often have been sent to the Nunneries in Canada under the +fallacious hope of obtaining for them, a superior education; and very +frequently, they are suddenly removed after being there but a short +period; because the persons to whose partial guardianship they are +committed perceive that they are in danger of being ensnared by the +Chaplain and his female Syrens. + +But there are two other particulars in American Nunneries, the +toleration of which almost surpasses credibility. + +In reference to girls, they are permitted to visit their friends, even +when they reside in the vicinity of the Convent, only for an hour or +two monthly--if their relatives are at a distance, they see them only +during the annual vacation, and often remain in the Nunnery during that +term. No correspondence is permitted between the mother, the guardian, +the sister, or the friends of the young female in the Nunnery School, +on either side, without the inspection of the argus-eyed agent of the +Institution. Parental advice, filial complaints, and confidential +communications are equally arrested; and only furnish to the Superiors +of the establishment, artifices to thwart the Seniors, to entangle the +Juniors, and effectually to cajole both parties. Consequently, it +generally happens, that from one term to another, little or no +intercourse exists between the youth and her relatives; and it is +indubitable, that where any letters do nominally pass between them, +they are forgeries; the real letters being surreptitiously detained. +Those felonious regulations furnish ample scope for the initiation of +girls just entering upon womanhood, into all the wickedness of the +Nunnery; while the girls themselves are unconscious of the design, and +the Nuns, those nefarious artificers of the iniquity, in subserviency +to the Priests, in case of necessity, can exculpate themselves +apparently from all participation in the treachery and crimes. + +In the nunneries and conventual schools in the United States there is a +sort of fairy land, talked about by the nuns to the elder girls. It is +called the "Nuns' Island." That country is always described as an +earthly paradise; and to girls who are manifestly fascinated by the +witcheries of the nuns, and in whom moral sensibility has become +blunted by the unmeaning superstitions which they witness, and which +they mechanically perform, a visit to the "Nuns' Island," is always +proposed as the greatest privilege, and the most costly reward, which +can be given for constant obsequiousness to the nuns, and unreserved +compliance with their requirements. The term "Nuns' Island," is thus +used to express the nunneries in Canada, and probably some similar +institutions in the United States, where they are not too difficult of +access. At all events, girls just entering upon the character of women, +after proper training, are finally gratified with a visit to the "Nuns' +Island." They are taken to Montreal, and in the nunneries there are at +once taught "the mystery of iniquity;" in all the living reality which +Maria Monk describes. Those girls from the United States, who are +represented as novices; in Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," were young +ladies from the United States, who had been decoyed to visit the "Nuns' +Island," and who, not being Papists, often were found very intractable; +but posterior circumstances enforce the belief, that having found +resistance vain, they had not returned to their school where they were +duly qualified to continue the course into which they had been coerced, +so as fully to elude all possibility of discovery and exposure. That +mother who intrusts her daughter to a nunnery school, is chargeable +with the high crime of openly conducting her into the chambers of +pollution, and the path to irreligion, and the bottomless pit. + +These combined circumstances satisfactorily prove that, the narrative +of Maria Monk should be believed by all impartial persons; at least, +until other evidence can be adduced, and the offer of exploring the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, by the New York Protestant Association, has been +accepted and decided. + +3. Additional evidence of the truth of Maria Monk's narrative is +deduced from _the exact conformity of the facts which she states +concerning the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, when compared with the authoritative +principles of the Jesuit Priesthood as recorded in their own duly +sanctioned volumes_. It is essential to remark, that of those books she +knows nothing; that she has never seen one of them, and if she could +grasp them, that they would impart no illumination to her mind, being +in Latin; and yet in many momentous particulars, neither Lartigue nor +any one of the Jesuit Priests now in Montreal, who was educated in +France, could more minutely and accurately furnish an exposition or +practical illustration of the atrocious themes, than Maria Monk has +unconsciously done. + +Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," are reducible to three classes: +intolerable sensuality; diversified murder; and most scandalous +mendacity: comprehending flagrant, and obdurate, and unceasing +violations of the sixth, seventh, and ninth commandments. + +_The ninth commandment:_ FALSEHOOD. Of this baseness, five specimens +only shall suffice. + +_Sanchez_, a very renowned author, in his work on "Morality and the +Precepts of the Decalogue," part 2, book 3, chap. 6, no. 13, thus +decides: "A person may take an oath that he has not done any certain +thing, though in fact he has. This is extremely convenient, and is also +_very just_, when necessary to your health, honour, and prosperity!" +_Charli_, in his Propositions, no. 6, affirms that, "He who is not +bound to state the truth before swearing, is not bound by his oath." +_Taberna_ in his vol. 2, part 2, tract 2, chap. 31, p. 288, asks: "Is a +witness bound to declare the truth before a lawful judge?" To which he +replies: "No, if his deposition will injure himself or his posterity." +_Laymann_, in his works, book 4, tract 2, chap. 2, p. 73, proclaims: +"It is not sufficient for an oath, that we use the formal words, if we +had not the intention and will to swear, and do not _sincerely_ invoke +God as a witness." All those principles are sanctioned by _Suarez_ in +his "Precepts of Law," book 3, chap. 9, assertion 2, p. 473, where he +says, "If any one has promised or contracted without intention to +promise, and is called upon oath to answer, may simply answer, NO; and +may swear to that denial." + +The idea of obtaining truth, therefore, from a thorough-going Papist, +upon any subject in which his "_honour_" is concerned--and every +Papist's honour is indissolubly conjoined with "the Church"--is an +absurdity so great, that it cannot be listened to with patience, while +the above decisions are the authorised dogmas which the Roman Priests +inculcate among their followers. How well the nuns of Montreal have +imbibed those Jesuitical instructions, Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" +amply reveal. + +_The Sixth Commandment:_ MURDER. The following miscellaneous decisions +are extracted from the works of the regularly sanctioned Roman authors, +of the very highest character and rank in that community. + +In his famous volume called "Aphorisms," p. 178, _Emmanuel Sa_ +writes--"You may kill any person who may be able to put you to +death--judge and witnesses--because it is self-defence." + +_Henriquez_, in his "Sum of Moral Theology," vol. 1, book 14, chap. 10, +p. 859, decides that "a Priest is not criminal, if he kill the husband +of a woman with whom he is caught in adultery." + +_Airault_ published a number of propositions. One of them says, that "a +person may secretly kill another who attempts to destroy his +reputation, although the facts are true which he published." The +following must be cited in Latin. "An lieitium sit mulieri procurare +abortum? Posset ilium excutere, ne honorem suum amittat, qui illi multo +pretiosior est ipsa vita." "An liceat mulieri conjugatæ sumere +pharmacum sterilitatis? Ita satius est ut hoc faciat, quam ut marito +debitium conjugale recuset." Censures 319, 322, 327. + +In his Moral Theology, vol. 4, book 32, sec. 2, problem 5, _Escobar_ +determines, that "it is lawful to kill an accuser whose testimony may +jeopard your life and honour." + +_Guimenius_ promulged his seventh Proposition in these words: "You may +charge your opponent with false crimes to destroy his credit; and you +may also kill him." + +_Marin_ wrote a book called "Speculative and Moral Theology." In vol. +3, tract 23, disputation 8, sec. 5, no. 63, p. 448, are found the +following sentences: "Licet procurare abortum, ne puella infametur." +That doctrine is admitted, "to evade personal disgrace, and _to conceal +the infamy of Monks and Nuns_." no. 67, p. 429. In no. 75, p. 430, of +the same work, _Marin_ writes: "Navarrus, Arragon, Bannez, Henriquez,, +Sa, Sanchez, Palao, and others, all say, that a woman may use not only +missione sanguinis, sed aliis medicamentis, etsi inde pereat foetus." +With that doctrine also agrees _Egidius_, in his "Explication of the +Decalogue," vol. 5, book 5, chap. 1, doubt 4; and _Diana_ in his work +upon Morality, part 6, tract 8, resolution 27, fully ratifies his +sanction. + +_Gobatus_ published a work which he entitled, "Morality," and in vol. +2, part 2, tract 5, chap. 9, sec. 8, p. 318, is the following +_edifying_ specimen of Popish morals: "Persons may innocently desire to +be drunk, if any great good will arise from it. A son who inherits +wealth by his father's death, may rejoice that when he is intoxicated, +he murdered his father." According to which combined propositions, a +man may make himself drunk expressly to kill his parent, and yet be +guiltless. + +_Busenbaum_ wrote a work denominated "Moral Theology." which was +enlarged and explained by _Lacroix_. In vol. 1, p. 295, is the +following position: "In all the cases where a man has a right to kill +any person, another may do it for him." But we have already heard by +_Escobar_ that any "Roman Priest has a right to kill Maria Monk; and +therefore any Papist may murder her for them." + +_Alagona_, in his "Compend of the Sum of Theology," by Thomas Aquinas, +question 94, p. 230, "Sums" up all the Romish system in this +comprehensively blasphemous oracular adage. "_By the command of God, it +is lawful to murder the innocent, to rob, and to commit lewdness; and +thus to fulfil his mandate, is our duty_." + +_The seventh commandment._--In his Aphorisms, p. 80, and p. 259, _Sa_ +thus decides--"Copulari ante benedictionem, aut nullam aut leve +peceatum est; quin etiam expedit, si multum isla differatur."--"Potest +et femina quaeque et mas, pro turpi corporis usu, pretium, accipere et +petere." + +_Hurtado_ issued a volume of "Disputations and Difficulties." At p. 476 +is the following genuine Popish rule of life--"Carnal intercourse +before marriage is not unlawful." So teaches that Jesuit oracle. + +_Dicastillo_, in his work upon "Righteousness and other cardinal +Virtues," p. 87, thus asks--"An puella, quae per vin opprimitur +teneatur clamare et opem implorare ne violetur?" The answer is +this--"Non videtur teneri impedire peccatum alterius--sed mere passive +se habere." + +_Escobar_, in his "Moral Theology," p. 326, 327, 328, of vol. 4, +determines that "a man who abducts a woman from affection expressly to +marry her, is guilty of mortal sin, but a Priest who forcibly violates +her through lust, incurs no censure." + +_Tamburin_ unfolds the character of Romanism in his "Moral Theology," +p. 186, in a lengthened discussion of the following characteristic +inquiry--"Quantum pro usu corporis sui juste exigat mulier?"--The reply +is, "de meretrice et de femina honesta sive conjugata, ant non." + +_Fegeli_ wrote a book of "Practical Questions;" and on p. 397, is the +following--"Under what obligation is he who defiles a virgin?"--The +answer is this--"Besides the obligation of penance, he incurs none; +quia puella habet jus usum sui corporis concedendi." + +_Trachala_ published a volume which he facetiously entitled the "Laver +of Conscience;" and at p. 96, he presents us with this astounding +recipe to purify the conscience--"An Concubinarius sit absolvendus +antequam concubinam dimittat?" To which he replies--"Si ilia concubina +sit valde bona et utilis economa, et sic nullam aliam possit habere, +esset absolvendus." + +From the prior decisions, combined with numberless others which might +be extracted from the works of the Romish authors, it is obvious, that +the violations of the seventh commandment, are scarcely enumerated by +the Papal priesthood among venial sins. Especially if we consider the +definition of a prostitute by the highest Popish authority: for in the +Decretals, Distinction 34, in the Gloss, is found this savory +adage--"Meretrix est quae, admiserit plures quam viginti tria hominum +millia!" That is the infallible attestation to the truth of Maria +Monk's "Awful Disclosures." + +4. The antecedent narrative of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, is confirmed by +the universal and constant practice of Roman Priests in all Convents. +Among the works of William Huntington, is a correspondence between +himself and a young lady who was converted by his ministry. The seventh +letter from Miss M. contains the following passage:-- + +_"It is a shame for women to approach those confessionals._ If they +were never wise in scenes of iniquity before, the priest will instruct +them, by asking the most filthy questions. I was confined to my bed +three days from my first confession; and thought I would never go +again, being so abashed by the abominations he had put in my head. I +would just as soon recommend scalding water to cure Anthony's-fire, or +a wet bed in an ice-house to cure an ague, as recommend a sinner to +those accursed lies, Roman penance, and Auricular Confession."--The +mental purity of Nuns consists in a life totally "contrary to the laws +of God, of modesty, of decency. They are constantly exposed to the +obscene interrogations, and the lewd actions of the Priests. +Notwithstanding God has fixed a bar on every female mind, it is broken +through by the Priests putting questions to them upon those subjects, +as the scripture declares, which ought not to be named? The uncommon +attractions of the young women in Convents generally indicate the +greatest unchastity among them. I have known girls, sent for education +to the Convent where I was, who regularly stripped themselves of every +thing they could obtain from their friends; which, by the artful +insinuations of the Nuns, was given to them and the Priests. The Roman +priesthood may well be called a sorceress, and their doctrine 'the wine +of fornication,' for nothing but the powers of darkness could work up +the young female mind to receive it; unless by the subtlety of the +devil, and the vile artifices of the Nuns. I shudder at the idea of +young ladies going into a Convent; and also at parents who send their +children to be educated in a Nunnery; where their daughters are +entrapped by the Nuns into the snare of the Priests, with whom they are +accomplices, and for whom the most subtle of them are decoys, whose +feigned sanctity is only a cover for the satanic arts of which they are +complete mistresses, and by which, through the delusions of the mother +of harlots, being buried alive within the walls of a Convent, they +'drink of the wine of her fornication,' until their souls pass into the +pit of destruction."--The above extract is from the seventh letter of +"Correspondence between Miss M. and Mr. H." in Huntington's Works; and +exposes the Nunneries in France. + +George D. Emeline, who had been a Popish Priest, in his "Eight +Letters," giving an account of his "Journey into Italy," thus details +the nature of the intimacy which then existed between the Priests and +Nuns on the European Continent. "A young Monk at Milan, Preacher to the +Benedictine Nuns, when he addressed them, added to almost every +sentence in his discourse, 'my most dear and lovely sisters, whom I +love from the deepest bottom of my heart.' When a monk becomes Preacher +or Chaplain to a Nunnery, his days are passed in constant +voluptuousness; for the Nuns will gratify their Confessor in every +thing, that he may be equally indulgent to them." Emeline's Letters, p. +313. + +"A regular Abbot of a Monastery in Italy, talking with me said--'Melius +est habere nullam quam aliquem--It is better to have none than any +woman.' I asked him what he meant; he replied, 'Because, when a person +is not tied to one, he may make use of many;' and his practice was +conformable to his doctrine; for he slept in the same bed with three +young women every night. He was a most insatiable Exactor and Oppressor +of the people who rented the lands of the Abbey, in consequence of +which the Farmers complained of him to the Archbishop of the District. +The Archbishop sent the Provost, the Farmers, and sixty of the +serjeants at night, to seize him and his female companions. They took +the Abbot in bed, and having put on him a morning-gown; and having tied +his three concubines and himself back to back, placed them in a cart, +and conducted them to the Archbishop's residence, in Bonnonia: who then +refused to judge him; but sent him and his females to the Monastery of +_Saint_ Michael; into which, with some difficulty, he was admitted +after midnight, in consequence of the Provost assuring the Friars, that +if they would not receive the Abbot, they would procure his prelatical +dress, and escort him and the young women in procession through the +city, and back to his own Monastery the same day at noon. The females +were ordered away, and the Abbot was appointed to remain in his +monastery for fifteen days for penance, until the story had ceased to +circulate. I was an eyewitness of that myself, when I was in the +Monastery of St. Michael in the wood."--Emeline's Letters, pp. 387, +388, 389. + +That the Nunneries in Portugal, as well as among those people in India +who are subject to the Romish priesthood, are of the same character +precisely, as Maria Monk describes the Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +proved by Victorin de Faria, who had been a Brahman in India; and who +afterward resided as a regular Roman Priest in the Paulist Monastery at +Lisbon. + +"The regular Priests in India," says Faria, "have become what the +bonzes where in Japan. The Nuns were the disciples of Diana, and the +nunneries seraglios for the monks; as I have proved to be the case in +Lisbon, by facts concerning those nuns who were more often in the +family way than common women. The Jesuits in the Indies made themselves +Brahmans in order to enjoy the privileges of that caste, whose +idolatrous rites and superstitious practices they also externally +adopted."--Among other privileges which they possessed, Faria +enumerates the following, as detailed from his own prior experience as +a Brahman. "Never to be put to death for any crime whatever; and to +enjoy the favours of every woman who pleased them, for a Priest +sanctifies the woman upon whom he bestows his attentions." That is the +true Papist doctrine, as shown by Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures;" +confirmed by the Canadian carpenter in Mr. Johnson's house at Montreal; +and ratified by Pope Gregory XIII. in the Decretals and Canons, in the +Corpus Juris Canonici. Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de +Ricci. p. 217. + +The Nunneries in Italy during the present generation are of the same +description. Maria Catharine Barni, Maria Magdalen Sicini, and Victoire +Benedetti, of the Nunnery called Santa Croce: all acknowledged, that +they had been seduced at confession, and that they had habitually +maintained criminal intercourse with a Priest called Pacchiani, who +absolved his guilty companions after the commission of their crimes. +Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 60, 61. + +Six Nuns of the Convent of Catharine at Pistoia declared that the +Priests who visited the Convent committed a "thousand indecorous acts. +They utter the worst expressions, saying that we should look upon it as +a great happiness, that we have the power of satisfying our appetites +without the annoyance of children; and that we should not hesitate to +take our pleasures. Men, who have contrived to get the keys, come into +the Convent during the night, which they have spent in the most +dissipated manner." That is the precise delineation of the Canadian +Nunneries; into which other men besides Priests are admitted, if the +parties are willing to pay the entrance bribe to the Chaplain.--Secrets +of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 80, 81. + +Flavia Perraccini, Prioress of the Nunnery of Catharine of Pistoia, +revealed what she knew of that and other Nunneries. All the Priests +"are of the same character. They all have the same maxims and the same +conduct. They are on more intimate terms with the nuns than if they +were married to them. It is the same at Lucia, at Pisa, at Prato, and +at Perugia. The Superiors do not know even the smallest part of the +enormous wickedness that goes on between the Monks and the +Nuns."--Secrets of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. p. 93. That statement +is so exactly conformed to Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," that were +it not a fact that she had never seen Scipio de Ricci's work it might +almost be supposed that some part of her narrative had been transcribed +from it. + +Foggini of Rome, also wrote to Scipio de Ricci and informed him--"I +know a monastery in which a Jesuit used to make the Nuns lift up their +clothes, assuring them that they thereby performed an act of virtue, +because they overcame a natural repugnance."--Secrets of Nunneries, p. +101. That is a very extraordinary illustration of the turpitude of the +Roman Priesthood; because that doctrine is a principle which they +constantly inculcate; and such is the invariable practice in the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, that the Nuns were obliged to fulfil, for the beastly +gratification of the Roman Priests who visited that house, which is +"the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:27. + +It is superfluous to multiply similar extracts. Scipio de Ricci was a +Popish prelate, regularly commissioned by the Grand Duke of Tuscany to +explore the Nunneries; and in consequence of his authentic +developments, the Jesuits and Dominicans, and the dignified Papal +ecclesiastics, with the two Popes, Pius VI. and Pius VII. all opposed, +reviled, condemned and worried him almost to death. + +One quotation more shall close this survey. Pope Paul III. maintained +at Rome, forty-five thousand courtesans. Pope Sixtus IV. ordered a +number of edifices to be erected expressly for the accommodation of the +semi-Nuns of Rome, from whose impurity he derived a large annual +revenue, under the form of a license; besides which, the prices of +absolution for the different violations of the seventh commandment are +as regularly fixed as the value of beads, soul-masses, blessed water, +and every other article of Popish manufacture. Paolo, Hist. Council de +Trent. Book I. Anno 1637. + +The preceding observations, it is believed, will remove the doubts from +the mind of every impartial inquirer, respecting the credibility of +Maria Monk's narrative: nevertheless, a few additional remarks may not +be irrelevant: especially as there is a marvellous skepticism in +reference to the admission of valid testimony concerning the Roman +priesthood, their system and practice. We are deafened with clamour for +proof to substantiate Maria Monk's history: but that demand is +tantamount to the declaration--"I will not believe." + +In anticipation of speedy death, and an immediate appearance at the +dread tribunal of Jehovah, Maria Monk communicated to Mr. Tappan, the +Chaplain at Bellevue, one of the benevolent institutions belonging to +the city of New York, the principal facts in her "Awful Disclosures." +After her unexpected recovery, she personally appeared at Montreal, +expressly and openly, to promulge her allegations of atrocious crimes +against the chief Roman Ecclesiastics in that city, who were armed with +power, and having nearly all the population her infuriated enemies. +There she remained almost four weeks, constantly daring the Roman +Priests and Nuns in vain. It is true, Dr. Robertson in his affidavit +says, that he was willing "to take the necessary steps for a full +investigation, if a direct charge were made against any particular +individual of a criminal nature." Now if Maria Monk's charges are not +direct, OF A CRIMINAL NATURE, and against PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS--what +charges can be so characterized? The fact is this:--Dr. Robertson would +no more dare to issue a warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, or +any of the inferior Roman Priests in Montreal, than he would dare +publicly to strike the Commander of the Garrison, or the Governor of +Canada upon military parade. If any Papist had stated to him the same +facts concerning a Protestant, or Protestant Minister, and offered to +confirm them by his worthless oath, he would have issued his process at +once; but Dr. Robertson knows, that in the present state of Canadian +society, Roman Priests can do what they please; and no man dares to +reprove, much less to "take any necessary steps for a full +investigation" for their crimes. If the Jesuits and Nuns at Montreal +are anxious for a full and impartial scrutiny of the Hotel Dieu +Convent, Maria Monk is ready to oblige them with some facilities for +that object; provided she may carry them out to all their extent and +application. Mr. Ogden has one affidavit, and knows the whole matter; +as can incontestably be proved by Mr. A. P. Hart, an Attorney of +Montreal; and we recommend Dr. Robertson to issue his warrant for the +apprehension of Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, they are +enough to begin with; and if Mr. Ogden will carry the facts with which +he is acquainted to the Grand Jury, one witness in New York is ready to +appear; and Dr. Robertson will find his hands full of employment, if he +will only "take the necessary steps" to procure two or three persons +who shall be pointed out to him in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. Therefore, +until Dr. Robertson commences some incipient measures as a Magistrate +towards "the necessary steps for a full investigation," as he says, we +shall be forced to believe, that the printer made a mistake in his +affidavit, and put willing for _unwilling_. + +The cavilling call, however, for additional evidence to be adduced by +Maria Monk, is manifestly futile. That testimony is within the +jurisdiction of the Priests alone who are criminated. Maria Monk +reiterates her charge against the Romish Ecclesiastics of Canada and +their Nuns; and she has solemnly sworn that they are true. What more +can she do? Nothing, but to _search the premises_, to see whether the +statements which she has made are correct. A Committee of the New York +Protestant Association are willing to accompany her to Montreal; to +walk through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in company with any Gentlemen of +Montreal, and investigate the truth without favour or partiality, Maria +Monk is willing to submit the whole affair to that short, and easy, and +sensible test; in which there is no possibility of deception. It does +not depend upon credibility of witnesses, conflicting evidence, +personal friendship, or religions prejudices; it is reduced at once to +that unerring criterion; _the sight and the touch!_ + +But, it is retorted, that will not be granted; then we repeat another +proposal: let the Priest Conroy come forth girded in all the panoply of +the Roman court, and appear as the champion of the Canadian Jesuits; +let him institute an action, civil or criminal, or both, against the +publishers of such atrocious crimes, which, as they pretend, are +falsely alleged against the Roman Priests. If Lartigue and his Montreal +inferior priests are implicated in the most nefarious felonies, Maria +Monk has published him as a virtuous accomplice. Why does he not put +her truth to the test, by subjecting her to a criminal process? Why +does he not commence a suit against the Booksellers who published her +"Awful Disclosures?"--Ah! if Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, +with their brethren, Conroy, Phelan, Kelly and Quarter, were coerced to +keep Lent, and live only upon _soup-maigre_, until that day arrives, +they would not much longer portray in their exterior, that they live +upon the fat of the land; but they would vociferously whine out--"Mea +culpa! O mea grandis culpa! O mea grandissima culpa! Peccava! Peccavi! +Peccavi!" + + + + +APPENDIX. + +RECEPTION OF THE FIRST EDITIONS. + + +I have now reached the close of what appeared in my first editions. +Some of my readers may feel a wish to know what has been said of me and +my book, by those whose characters or connexions it exposes. Different +persons have expressed to me their fears that I should be kidnapped, +stabbed or poisoned; but of this I have had but little apprehension. +Others may suppose that the priests of Montreal, and some of those in +New York, against whom I have made different charges, may have appeared +against me in ways of which they are ignorant, and have published +facts, or used arguments of serious import, if not of decided force. +For the information of my readers, I have determined, though at some +inconvenience, to lay before them a fair view of what they have done. + +I was well convinced before the publication of my first book, that the +priests would do or say very little against me or my work; and several +persons can testify, that I made declarations of this kind, with +distinctness, in their presence. The reasons I gave for this opinion +were these,--that they feared an investigation, and that they feared +further disclosures. They must desire to keep the public mind calm, and +diverted with other matters; and to avoid increasing my will. + +There were individuals, I was well aware, both in and _out_ of the +nunnery, and Seminary, who, from the first notice of the appearance of +my book, would be extremely disquieted, until they had ascertained the +extent to which my developments reached. When they had read for +themselves, I well knew, they would enjoy a temporary relief, finding +that my "Disclosures" were not the most "awful" which they had reason +to expect. + +I also felt, that they would apprehend something further from me; and +that a dread of this would probably keep them quiet, or confine them to +general denials of my story. And this has been the case, even to so +great a degree, that the remark has been often repeated--how feeble is +their defence! Why did they not rather remain silent than do so +little--that which is for them worse than nothing? The causes of this I +could assign. The world does not understand them all. + +Three principal grounds of opposition have been taken against me by my +enemies--1st, That I had never been in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery: 2d, That +my character entitled me to no confidence; 3d, That my book was copied, +"word for word, and letter for letter," from an old European work, +called "The Gates of Hell opened." Besides these grounds, several +others have been attempted, but less seriously supported--such as that +I was deranged, or subject to occasional alienation of mind; and that I +was not Maria Monk, but a counterfeit of a person by that name, still +in Canada, and, as some said, in the Black Nunnery. + +With regard to the first of these grounds, I will here simply say, that +it has been, beyond controversy, the principal one, but has recently +been abandoned. The great object of the six affidavits, published in +Montreal in November, 1835, and republished here soon after the +publication of my book, was to prove that I had never been a nun--not +even a novice. The reader may judge for himself, for those affidavits +are published in full in this volume, and they are the only ones which +have been published against me. The reader will also see in an extract +from the New York Catholic Diary of March last that that fact is +admitted; and by a later extract from it, that a Canadian priest who +takes the trouble to write from Sherbrooke, has no new testimony to +refer to. + +As to my character, I never claimed the confidence of the American +people, (as the Roman priests do,) on a pretence of a peculiar holiness +of life. That would have been unreasonable in a stranger, and +especially one who had been in a nunnery. My first editions, as well as +the present, bear witness that I appealed to the evidence of facts +which no one could controvert if once produced--an examination of the +interior of my late prison. Not a lisp has yet been heard of assent to +my proposition. The Protestant Association have published a challenge, +for several weeks, which is on another page among the extracts--but no +one has accepted it, and I will venture to say, no one will. + +My publishers, on seeing the assertion made by the editor of the Boston +(Roman Catholic) Pilot, that my book was a mere copy from an old +European work, called "The Gates of Hell opened," published an offer of +$100 for any book so resembling it--without success. If there be any +volume on earth which contains the developments of any fugitive nun, +whose case resembled my own, I should expect to merit such a title as +the above; and I should know how to excuse the author for using so +strong an expression, after struggling, as I have had to do, in giving +my own narrative, with those feelings which are so apt to arise in my +heart at the recollection of scenes I have passed through. The opening +of the Gates of Hell, whether in a European or a Canadian Convent, may +probably disclose scenes very like to each other; but if there be any +resemblance between my book and any other in the world, I solemnly +declare that it can be owing only to a resemblance between the things +described in both, as not a sentence has been copied from any book +whatever, and I defy the editor of the Boston Pilot--(not to perjure +himself, as he gratuitously proposed--but to do what would be at once +much more difficult and satisfactory)--produce his book, or a single +page of it. + +I have been charged with occasional alienation of mind--a very strong +evidence, I should think, of my being a nun; for what eloped nun ever +escaped that charge? Like converted Roman Catholics, run-away nuns are +commonly pronounced to be out of their wits, or under the influence of +evil spirits, of course, on the ground that it is proved by the fact +itself. + +As to my being the real Maria Monk or not, I presume the testimony of +some of my old school-mates, now in New York, will pass. To these, +however, it cannot be necessary to resort, otherwise the Montreal +affidavits will be good for nothing. + +I will now proceed to give _the whole_ of the testimony which has been +brought out against me. A few remarks, necessary to acquaint the reader +with the progress of things, will be given in their place. Next to +these will appear the testimony of several persons, who have +voluntarily presented themselves, since the publication of my first +edition, claimed acquaintance with me, and volunteered their testimony. +I need not say how gratifying I have found such spontaneous marks of +kindness, from friends, whose reedy and unsolicited appearance is a +real favour to me, although chiefly due, as they declare, to their love +of truth and justice. + +Almost immediately after the appearance of my "Awful Disclosures," the +following anonymous handbill was distributed through the city of New +York. It was also published in the Catholic Diary, and other papers, +with violent denunciations. + +"_Maria Monk! Villany Exposed._ + +"_L'Amidu Peuple_, a Montreal paper, gives us the _denouement_ of the +tale of scandal which the _Protestant Vindicator_, Christian Herald, +_et id genus omne_, put forward a few months since, and which the +Protestant Editors of three political journals in Montreal, at once +indignantly repelled without knowing its origin. Instead of an eloped +Nun, recounting the horrors of the Convent, the heroine of the tale is +a Protestant young girl, who has been for four years past under +protection of a Mr. Hoyte, once styled a Reverend Methodist Preacher, +and connected with Canadian Sunday Schools. The paper quoted above, +gives, at full length, the affidavits of the mother of the girl, who is +also a Protestant, and of several other individuals, who had no motive +to favour Catholic Institutions. The disconsolate mother testifies on +oath that she had been solicited by the seducer of her child to swear +that she was a Nun, and that the father of the infant was a Catholic +Clergyman--that a promise had been made her of a comfortable provision +for herself, and for her unfortunate child and offspring--if she would +only do that. The poor woman had virtue enough to reject the base +proposal; and thus, the Rev. Mr. Hoyte, who had returned from New York +for this purpose, accompanied, it is stated, by the Rev. Mr. Brewster +and Judge Turner, failed in the object of his visit. + +"A Methodist Preacher of the place immediately disclaimed all +connection of the society with Mr. Hoyte, and in a letter, published in +the papers, expressed his regret that any credit had been given to a +foul charge, emanating from a source so polluted."--_Catholic Herald_. + +The affidavits will be published as soon as they shall be received from +Canada. Maria Monk's Book, far from injuring the Catholic religion, +will promote it; for the publication is a real _disclosure_ of the +wickedness and hypocrisy of its enemies, who dare to go as far as to +conceal their own crimes, by calumniating those who never did any thing +against them, and have never interfered with them. Probably the author +of this _pious book_ is a minister; and, what is more remarkable, not a +single one of the ministers has opposed it, or cautioned the people +against it, as it is their duty to do, the calumniators being of their +own congregation. However, by holding a prayer-meeting, making _a few +faces_, and giving a few affecting _turns_ to their voices, they +certainly have already washed out the awful crime of these calumnies, +because faith alone will save them, and they certainly have the true +faith, which shows itself by these true fruits of charity. They are the +elect, and consequently, they are not like the Catholic Priests, who +are all wicked. The reader may recollect the parable of the pharisee +and the publican. + + * * * * * + +"Granting the truth of Maria Monk's story, will it not reveal the +weakness of Protestant origin? Where would Protestantism be, were it +not engendered and nursed by profligate Monks and Nuns? Yes, gentlemen, +profligate Monks and Nuns have been your nursing Fathers and Mothers! +The chaste spouse of the Redeemer could hold no fellowship with such +characters. She has flung them over the fences of the 'fold,' happy to +have a sink into which to throw her filth." + +As soon as my first edition appeared, several of the newspapers of New +York referred to the publication in terms of unqualified condemnation. +Not content with giving my motives in producing it, without having seen +me, they hesitated not to pronounce it utterly false, with as much +boldness as if they had really known something more of the matter than +the public at large. A poor and injured female had disclosed to their +countrymen facts of deep interest to all; and they, without +examination, perhaps without leaving their offices to make a single +inquiry, did their utmost to decry me, and used terms which they cannot +but regret sooner or later. + +Requests were immediately made to some of them to listen to evidence, +which were not accepted. The editors of the Courier and Enquirer were +requested, in a note from the publishers, to mention in their paper +what parts of my book they intended to pronounce false, and what was +their evidence. But they took no notice of it, although desired to +publish the note. Many other editors were invited to publish +communications or extracts, but most of them refused from the first, +and all the papers were soon closed against my cause. + +In the country, the newspapers generally, I believe, followed the +example set in this city, though in Albany, Boston, and one or two +other places, a solitary one or two appeared disposed to examine the +subject. + +At length appeared the long-threatened Montreal affidavits, which are +here inserted. They were published in several Roman Catholic, and one +or two Protestant papers in New York, with this introduction-- + +_"Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' Villany exposed!!_ + +"Of all the curious pranks and fanatical schemes which the foes of +Catholicity have been playing for some years past, there is not one +that fills the mind with greater disgust than the scandalous tale given +to the public by Maria Monk and her wicked associate. + +"By the evidence which covers the following pages, the reader will see +the man himself clearly convinced of being a base calumniator, and +arch-hypocrite. He, and his associate prostitute, will be seen, with +brazen impudence, attempting to fix on the virtuous Catholic Ladies and +Catholic Priests of Montreal, the shameless character which belongs +only to themselves." + +_From the Montreal Courier,_ Nov. 16, 1835. + +"The _New York Protestant Vindicator_ of the 4th November, reiterates +its calumnies concerning the Roman Catholic Clergy and Nuns of this +city. We cherished the hope that, after the simultaneous and unanimous +expressions of disbelief and reprehension with which its extravagant +assertions had been met by the Canadian press, both Protestant and +Catholic, the conductors of that journal would have been slow to +repeat, without better evidence of their truth, the same disgraceful +charges. We have been deceived in our calculation. The fanatical print +demands _counter evidence_ before it will withdraw, or acknowledge the +falsehood of its previous statements. We believe that _counter_ +evidence has already been adduced, of a nature far surpassing, in +weight, the claims to credibility which the accusations themselves +could offer. The impure fabrication trumped up by a woman of immoral +character and insane mind, in conjunction with a man of equally +depraved habits, can never be weighed in the balance with the testimony +of Protestants, living in the same community as the accused, and, +therefore, possessing the means of judging of the truth or falsehood of +what was advanced. By any persons of less interested credulity, and of +more discriminating and moral honesty, than what the conductors of the +_Protestant Vindicator_ appear to possess, counter evidence of the +above nature would have been deemed sufficient. + +"There are two reasons which have mainly weighed with us, to revert to +the subject of the _Protestant Vindicator's_ charges, and to publish +the subjoined lengthy documents. We consider, in the first place, our +endeavours to expose falsehood as a solemn duty we owe to the defamed; +and, in the second, we should regard ourselves to be degraded in the +eyes of the world, did we live in a community where such abominations, +as are alleged, existed, and not dare, openly and loudly, to denounce +the perpetrators. + +"Under these impressions, we proceed, at a considerable sacrifice of +the space of our journal, to lay before our readers the following +affidavits, which will sufficiently disclose the nature of the +_Protestant Vindicator's_ calumnies, their origin, and the degree of +credit which can be attached to them." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF DR. ROBERTSON.) + +"William Robertson, of Montreal, Doctor in Medicine, being duly sworn +on the Holy Evangelists, deposeth and saith as follows:--On the 9th of +November, 1834, three men came up to my house, having a young female in +company with them, who, they said, was observed that forenoon, on the +bank of the Canal, near the extremity of the St. Joseph Suburbs, acting +in a manner which induced some people who saw her to think that she +intended to drown herself. They took her into a house in the +neighbourhood, where, after being there some hours, and interrogated as +to who she was, &c., she said she was the daughter of Dr. Robertson. On +receiving this information, they brought her to my house. Being from +home when they came to the door, and learning from Mrs. Robertson that +she had denied them, they conveyed her to the watch-house. Upon hearing +this story, in company with G. Auldjo, Esq., of this city. I went to +the watch-house to inquire into the affair. We found the young female, +whom I have since ascertained to be Maria Monk, daughter of W. Monk, of +this city, in custody. She said, that although she was not my daughter, +she was the child of respectable parents, in or very near Montreal, who +from some light conduct of hers, (arising from temporary insanity, to +which she was at times subject from her infancy.) had kept her confined +and chained in a cellar for the last four years. Upon examination, no +mark or appearance indicated the wearing of manacles, or any other mode +of restraint. She said, on my observing this, that her mother always +took care to cover the irons with soft cloths to prevent them injuring +the skin. From the appearance of her hands, [Footnote: Compare this +with the last sentence but one in the affidavit. Why does Dr. R. not +give names of persons and their affidavits? It has not yet been +done--April, 1836.] she evidently had not been used to work. To remove +her from the watch-house, where she was confined with some of the most +profligate women of the town, taken up for inebriety and disorderly +conduct in the streets, as she could not give a satisfactory account of +herself, I as a Justice of the Peace, sent her to jail as a vagrant. +The following morning, I went to the jail for the purpose of +ascertaining, if possible, who she was. After considerable persuasion, +she promised to divulge her story to the Rev. H. Esson, one of the +clergymen of the Church of Scotland, to whose congregation she said her +parents belonged. That gentleman did call at the jail, and ascertained +who she was. In the course of a few days she was released, and I did +not see her again until the month of August last, when Mr. Johnston, of +Griffintown, Joiner, and Mr. Cooley, of the St. Ann Suburbs, Merchant, +called upon me, about ten o'clock at night, and, after some prefatory +remarks, mentioned that the object of their visit was, to ask me, as a +magistrate, to institute an inquiry into some very serious charges +which had been made against some of the Roman Catholic Priests of that +place, and the Nuns of the General Hospital, by a female, who had been +a Nun in that Institution for four years, and who had divulged the +horrible secrets of that establishment, such as the illicit and +criminal intercourse between the Nuns and the Priests, stating +particulars of such depravacy of conduct, on the part of these people, +in this respect, and their murdering the offspring of these criminal +connexions, as soon as they were born, to the number of from thirty to +forty every year. I instantly stated, that I did not believe a word of +what they told me, and that they must have been imposed upon by some +evil-disposed and designing person. Upon inquiry who this Nun, their +informant, was, I discovered that she answered exactly the description +of Maria Monk, whom I had so much trouble about last year, and +mentioned to these individuals my suspicion, and what I knew of that +unfortunate girl. Mr. Cooley said to Mr. Johnston, let us go home, we +are hoaxed. They told me that she was then at Mr. Johnston's house, and +requested me to call there, and hear her own story. The next day, or +the day following, I did call, and saw Maria Monk, at Mr. Johnston's +house. She repeated in my presence the substance of what was mentioned +to me before, relating to her having been in the Nunnery for four +years; having taken the black veil; the crimes committed there; and a +variety of other circumstances concerning the Priests and Nuns. A Mr. +Hoyte was introduced to me, and was present during the whole of the +time that I was in the house. He was represented as one of the persons +who had come from New York with this young woman, for the purpose of +investigating into this mysterious affair. I was asked to take her +deposition, on her oath, as to the truth of what she had stated. I +declined doing so, giving as reason, that, from my knowledge of her +character, I considered her assertions upon oath were not entitled to +more credit than her bare assertion, and that I did not believe either: +intimating, at the same time, my willingness to take the necessary +steps for a full investigation, if they could get any other person to +corroborate any part of her solemn testimony, or if a direct charge +were to be made against any particular individual of a criminal nature. +During the first interview with Messrs. Johnston and Cooley, they +mentioned, that Maria Monk had been found in New York in a very +destitute situation by some charitable individuals, who administered to +her necessities, being very sick. She expressed a wish to see a +clergyman, as she had a dreadful secret which she wished to divulge +before she died; a clergyman visiting her, she related to him the +alleged crimes of the Priests and Nuns of the General Hospital at +Montreal. After her recovery, she was visited and examined by the Mayor +and some lawyers at New York, afterward at Troy, in the State of New +York, on the subject; and I understood them to say, that Mr. Hoyte and +two other gentlemen, one of them a lawyer, were sent to Montreal, for +the purpose of examining into the truth of the accusations thus made. +Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria Monk's story, I thought +it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry concerning it, and have +ascertained where she had been residing a great part of the time she +states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During the summer of 1832 +she was at service in William Henry's; the winters of 1823-3, she +passed in this neighborhood, at St. Ours and St. Denis. The accounts +given of her conduct that season corroborate the opinions I had before +entertained of her character. + +"W. ROBERTSON. + +"Sworn before me, Montreal, this 14th day of November, 1835. + +"BENJ. HOLMES, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MY MOTHER.) + +"On this day, the twenty-fourth day of October, one thousand eight +hundred and thirty-five, before me, William Robertson, one of his +Majesty's Justices of the Peace for the district of Montreal, came and +appeared Isabella Mills, [Footnote: My mother's maiden name was Mills] +of the city of Montreal, widow of the late William Monk, who declared, +that wishing to guard the public against the deception which has lately +been practised in Montreal by designing men, who have taken advantage +of the occasional derangement of her daughter, to make scandalous +accusations against the Priests and the Nuns in Montreal, and afterward +to make her pass herself for a nun, who had left the Convent. And after +having made oath on the holy evangelists, (to say the truth) the said +Isabella Mills declares and says, a man decently dressed (whom +afterward I knew to be W. R. Hoyte, stating himself to be a minister of +New York,) came to my house on or about the middle of August last, and +inquired for one Mr. Mills; that Mr. Esson, a minister here, had told +him I could give him some information about that man; I replied that I +knew no one of that name in Montreal, but that I had a brother of that +name five miles out of town. He then told me that he had lately come to +Montreal, with a young woman and child of five weeks old; that the +woman had absconded from him at Goodenough's tavern, where they were +lodging, and left him with the child; he gave me a description of the +woman: I unfortunately discovered that the description answered my +daughter, and the reflection that this stranger had called upon Mr. +Esson, our pastor, and inquiring for my brother, I suspected that this +was planned: I asked for the child, and said that I would place it in a +nunnery: to that Mr. Hoyte started every objection, in abusive language +against the nuns. At last he consented to give me the child, provided I +would give my writing that it should be presented when demanded. We +left the house together, Mr. Hoyte requested me to walk at a distance +from him, as he was a gentleman. I followed him to Mr. Goodenough's +Hotel, and he directed me to room No. 17, and to demand the child; a +servant maid gave it to me; Mr. Hoyte came up, and gave me the +clothing. I came home with the child, and sent Mrs. Tarbert, an old +acquaintance, in search of my daughter; her disposition will be seen. +The next day, Mr. Hoyte came in with an elderly man, Dr. Judge Turner, +decently dressed, whom he introduced to me as a Mr. Turner, of St. +Alban's. They demanded to see the child, which I produced. Mr. Hoyte +demanded if I had discovered the mother; I said not. She must be found, +said he; she has taken away a shawl and a bonnet belonging to a servant +girl at Goodenough's; he would not pay for them; she had cost him too +much already; that, his things were kept at the hotel on that account. +Being afraid that this might more deeply involve my daughter, I offered +my own shawl to replace the one taken; Mr. Hoyte first took it but +afterward returned it to me on my promise that I would pay for the +shawl and bonnet. In the course of the day, Mrs. Tarbert found my +daughter, but she would not come to my house; she sent the bonnet and +shawl, which were returned to their owner, who had lent them to my +daughter, to assist her in procuring her escape from Mr. Hoyte at the +hotel. Early on the afternoon of the same day, Mr. Hoyte came to my +house with the same old man, wishing me to make all my efforts to find +the girl, in the meantime speaking very bitterly against the Catholics, +the Priests, and the Nuns; mentioning that my daughter had been in the +nunnery, where she had been ill treated. I denied that my daughter had +ever been in a nunnery; that when she was about eight years of age, she +went to a day-school. At that time came in two other persons, whom Mr. +Hoyte introduced; one was Rev. Mr. Brewster, I do not recollect the +other reverence's name. They all requested me, in the most pressing +terms, to try to make it out; my daughter had been in the nunnery; and +that she had some connection with the Priests of the seminary, of which +nunneries and Priests she spoke in the most outrageous terms; said, +that should I make that out, myself, my daughter, and child, would be +protected for life. I expected to get rid of their importunities, in +relating the melancholy circumstances by which my daughter was +frequently deranged in her head, and told them, that when at the age of +about seven years, she broke a slate pencil in her head; that since +that time her mental faculties were deranged, and by times much more +than at other times, but that she was far from being an idiot; that she +could make the most ridiculous, but most plausible stories; and that as +to the history that she had been in a nunnery, it was a fabrication, +for she never was in a nunnery; that at one time I wished to obtain a +place in a nunnery for her; that I had employed the influence of Mrs. +De Montenach, of Dr. Nelson, and of our pastor, the Rev. Mr. Esson, but +without success. I told them notwithstanding I was a Protestant and did +not like the Catholic religion--like all other respectable Protestants, +I held the priests of the seminary and the nuns of Montreal in +veneration, as the most pious and charitable persons I ever knew. After +many more solicitations to the same effect, three of them retired, but +Mr. Hoyte remained, adding to the other solicitations; he was stopped, +a person having rapped at the door; it was then candlelight. I opened +the door, and found Doctor McDonald, who told me that my daughter Maria +was at his house, in the most distressing situation; that she wished +him to come and make her peace with me; I went with the Doctor to his +house in M'Gill-street; she came with me to near my house, but would +not come in, notwithstanding I assured her that she would be kindly +treated, and that I would give her her child; she crossed the parade +ground, and I went into the house, and returned for her.--Mr. Hoyte +followed me. She was leaning on the west railing of the parade; we went +to her: Mr. Hoyte told her, my dear Mary, I am sorry you have treated +yourself and me in this manner; I hope you have not exposed what has +passed between us, nevertheless; I will treat you the same as ever, and +spoke to her in the most affectionate terms; took her in his arms; she +at first spoke to him very cross, and refused to go with him, but at +last consented and went with him, absolutely refusing to come to my +house. Soon after, Mr. Hoyte came and demanded the child; I gave it to +him. Next morning Mr. Hoyte returned, and was more pressing than in his +former solicitation, and requested me to say that my daughter had been +in the nunnery: that should I say so, it would be better than one +hundred pounds to me; that I would be protected for life, and that I +should leave Montreal, and that I would be better provided for +elsewhere; I answered, that thousands of pounds would not induce me to +perjure myself; then he got saucy and abusive to the utmost; he said he +came to Montreal to detect the infamy of the Priests and the Nuns; that +he could not leave my daughter destitute in the wide world as I had +done: afterward said, No! she is not your daughter, she is too sensible +for that, and went away--He was gone but a few minutes, when Mr. +Doucet, an ancient Magistrate in Montreal, entered. That gentleman told +me that Mr. Goodenough had just now called upon him, and requested him +to let me know that I had a daughter in Montreal; that she had come in +with a Mr. Hoyte and a child, and that she had left Mr. Hoyte and the +child, but that she was still in Montreal, so as to enable me to look +for her, and that I might prevent some mischief that was going on. Then +I related to him partly what I have above said. When he was going, two +other gentlemen came. I refused to give them any information at first, +expecting that they were of the party that had so much agitated me for +a few days; but being informed by Mr. Doucet, that he knew one of them, +particularly Mr. Perkins, for a respectable citizen for a long time in +Montreal, and the other Mr. Curry, two ministers from the United +States, that if they came to obtain some information about the +distressing events she related to have occurred in her family, he +thought it would do no harm, and I related it to them: they appeared to +be afflicted with such a circumstance; I have not seen them any more. I +asked Mr. Doucet if the man Hoyte could not be put in jail; he replied +that he thought not, for what he knew of the business. Then I asked if +the Priests were informed of what was going on; he replied, yes, but +they never take up these things; they allow their character to defend +itself. A few days after, I heard that my daughter was at one Mr. +Johnson's, a joiner, at Griffintown, with Mr. Hoyte; that he passed her +for a nun that had escaped from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. I went there +two days successively with Mrs. Tarbert; the first day, Mrs. Johnson +denied her, and said that she was gone to New York with Mr. Hoyte. As I +was returning, I met Mr. Hoyte on the wharf, and I reproached him for +his conduct. I told him that my daughter had been denied me at +Johnson's, but that I would have a search-warrant to have her; when I +returned, he had really gone with my unfortunate daughter; and I +received from Mr. Johnson, his wife and a number of persons in their +house, the grossest abuse, mixed with texts of the Gospel, Mr. Johnson +bringing a Bible for me to swear on. I retired more deeply afflicted +than ever, and further sayeth not. + +"Sworn before me, this 24th of October, 1835." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF NANCY M'GAN.) + +"_Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, came and appeared Nancy M'Gan, of +Montreal, wife of James Tarbert, who has requested me to receive this +affidavit, and declared that she had been intimately acquainted with +Mrs. (widow) Monk, of Montreal, a Protestant woman. I know the said +Maria Monk; last spring she told me that the father of the child she +then was carrying, was burned in Mr. Owsten's house. She often went +away in the country, and at the request of her mother I accompanied her +across the river. Last summer she came back to my lodgings, and told me +that she had made out the father of the child; and that very night left +me and went away. The next morning I found that she was in a house of +bad fame, where I went for her, and told the woman keeping that house, +that she ought not to allow that girl to remain there, for she was a +girl of good and honest family. Maria Monk then told me that she would +not go to him (alluding, as I understood, to the father of the child), +for that he wanted her to swear an oath that would lose her soul for +ever, but jestingly said, should make her a lady for ever. I then told +her (Maria), do not lose your soul for money. She told me she had +swapped her silk gown in the house where I had found her, for a calico +one, and got some money to boot; having previously told me if she had +some money she would go away, and would not go near him any more. Soon +after, Mr. Hoyte and another gentleman came. Mr. Hoyte asked me where +she had slept the night previous, and that he would go for the silk +gown; the woman showed the gown, and told him that if he would pay +three dollars he should have the gown; he went away, and came back with +Maria Monk, paid the three dollars and got the gown; I was then present. + +"Being at Mrs. Monk's, I saw a child which she mentioned to be her +daughter Maria's child. Some time after, Mrs. Monk requested me to +accompany her to Griffintown, to look for her daughter. We went, to Mr. +Johnson's house, a joiner in that suburb: we met Mr. Hoyte and he spoke +to Mrs. Monk; when at Mr. Johnson's, Mrs. Manly asked for her daughter; +Mrs. Johnson said she was not there. I saw Mr. Hoyte at Mrs. Monk's; he +was in company with three other persons, apparently Americans, +earnestly engaged in conversation, but so much confused I could not +make out what was said; and farther sayeth not." + +"Her + +"NANCY + M'GAN. + +"mark. + +"Sworn before me, on this 24th October, 1835. + +"W. ROBERTSON, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF ASA GOODENOUGH.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of his Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, appeared Asa Goodenough, of +Montreal, holder of the Exchange Coffee House, who, after having made +oath upon the Holy Evangelists, declareth and sayeth, that on or about +the nineteenth of August last, two gentlemen and a young female with a +child, put up at the Exchange Coffee House, of which I am the owner; +they were entered in the book, one under the name of Judge Turner, the +other as Mr. Hoyte, a Methodist preacher, and agent or superintendent +for the establishment of Sunday-schools, &c. + +"Being informed by Catherine Conners, a confidential servant, that +something mysterious was passing amongst the above-named, which led me +to call on them for an explanation, they answered in a very +unsatisfactory manner. I afterward learned that the name of the young +woman was Maria Monk, that her mother lived in town, that she was not +married to Mr. Hoyte, and they came to Montreal with the view, as Mr. +Hoyte said, to disclose the infamy of the Priests, whilst she was at +the Nunnery. I thought it prudent to give information of this to a +magistrate. Seeing Mr. Doucet's name on the list, I went to him, and +requested him to give information to the mother of the young woman, of +the circumstances in which her daughter was. He did so, and the +disclosure of the design of Mr. Hoyte was the consequence. + +"Montreal. + +"ASA GOODENOUGH." + + * * * * * + +"The following affidavits have been translated from the _L'Ami du +Peuple,_ Montreal, Nov. 7, 1835." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF CATHARINE CONNERS.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace +for the District of Montreal, appeared Catherine Conners of Montreal, a +servant in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, in the city of Montreal; she +having made oath on the Holy Evangelists, to say the truth and nothing +but the truth, declared and said what follows: + +"Towards the 19th of August last, two men and a woman came to the +_Exchange Coffee House_; their names were written in the book, one by +the name of Judge Turner, and the other as Mr. Hoyte; the name of the +woman was not written in the book, in which the names of travellers are +written, because I was informed that they were taking a single room +with two beds. Some time after another room was given to them for their +accommodation; the woman passed for the wife of Mr. Hoyte. + +"The day following, when I was making the bed, I found the woman in +tears; having made the remark to her that her child was a very young +traveller, she replied that she had not the power to dispense with the +journey, for they travelled on business of importance; she also said +that she had never had a day of happiness since she had left Montreal, +which was four years, with Mr. Hoyte; she expressed a wish to go and +see her father. She entreated me to try and procure secretly clothes +for her, for Mr. Hoyte wished to dine with her in his own room, in +which he was then taking care of the child. I gave her my shawl and +bonnet, and conducted her secretly out by the street St Pierre; she +never returned, and left the child in the hands of Mr. Hoyte. She said +that her _husband_ was a Methodist preacher, and agent of the Sunday +School for Montreal, in which he had resided four months last winter; +but she had not then been with him. When I returned to the room, Mr. +Hoyte was still taking care of the child; he asked me if I had seen +_his lady_; I said no. Upon this question he told me that the father of +_his lady_ was dead, that her mother yet lived in the suburbs of +Quebec, and he asked me for all the clothes which I had given to wash +for him, _his lady_ and child; clothes the _lady_ had taken from the +only portmanteau which they had. Beyond that, I perceived nothing +remarkable, except that Mr. Hoyte wished to conceal this woman, and to +prevent her from going out. I heard the judge say to him, 'now she is +yours.' Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + +Mary McCaffrey, also a chambermaid in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, +corroborates the preceding deposition. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF HENRY M'DONALD.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace, +for the District of Montreal, appeared Henry M'Donald, physician, who, +after taking an oath on the Holy Evangelists to say the truth, +declared, that in the month of August last, at seven o'clock in the +evening, a young woman called at his house with all the symptoms of an +extraordinary agitation, and in great distress. She asked his +professional advice, complaining of great pains in the breast. On +questioning her, he learned that she had a young child, which she said +was at Mr. Goodenough's, and that this child was taken away from her. +She said that the father of the child was a Methodist Minister, and +general agent of the Sunday-Schools. She told me his name, but I cannot +recollect it. She told me that now and then her intellectual faculties +were weakened in such a manner that she could not support herself. She +told me that she would be under great obligation to me, if I would go +to her mother's house, and get her child, and procure lodgings for her; +that she was without means, and did not know where to go. She could not +remain with her mother, because she felt that her conduct had disgraced +her family. I went in quest of Mrs. Monk, her mother; she had just come +in quest of her daughter, and they went away together from my house. + +(Signed) "HENRY M'DONALD." + +"Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MATTHEW RICHEY.) + +_To the Editor of the Montreal Morning Courier._ + +Sir,--Among the affidavits published in your paper of to-day, relating +to Mr. Hoyte and Maria Monk, I observe a deposition by Mr. Goodenough, +that when Mr. Hoyte, in the month of August last, put up at the +Exchange Coffee-house, he was entered on the book as a _Methodist +Preacher, and Agent or Superintendant of Sunday Schools_, &c. It has, +however, been ascertained, from an examination of the book referred +too, that no official designation is appended in it to Mr. Hoyte's +name. This discrepancy, Mr. Goodenough states, took place entirely +through mistake, and he did not know that Mr. Hoyte was thus +characterized in his affidavit till he saw it in print. But as a +similar mistake has found its way into several of the depositions which +have been elicited by this unhappy affair, I deem it incumbent upon me, +as a regularly appointed Methodist Minister of this city, to declare +that Mr. Hoyte has never had any connexion with the Methodist Society, +either as a preacher or as an agent for Sunday Schools; and I would, at +the same time, express my surprise and regret, that the _New York +Protestant Vindicator_ should have taken up, and industriously +circulated, charges of so grave a nature against the Priests and Nuns +of this city, derived from so polluted a source. From such a species of +_vindication_, no cause can receive either honour or credit. By giving +this publicity, you will confer a favour on yours, respectfully, + +"MATTHEW RICHEY, _Wesleyan Minister_." + +"Montreal, Nov. 16, 1835. + + * * * * * + +"Although we could produce several other affidavits, of an equally +unimpeachable character as the above, yet we deem the evidence advanced +more than enough to show the entire, falsehood and extravagance of the +fabrications in the _Protestant Vindicator_." + + * * * * * + +Here closes all the testimony that has been published or brought +against me. It requires the suppression of my feelings to repeat to the +world charges against myself and my companions, so unfounded, and +painful to every virtuous reader. But I [illegible] to the truth to +substantiate my narrative, and prefer that everything should be fairly +laid before the world. That my opponents had nothing further to produce +against me at that time, is proved by the following remark by the +Editor of the New York Catholic Diary, to be found in very paper in +which he published the preceding affidavits:-- + +_"Here, then, is the whole!"_ + +In a N. Y. Catholic Diary of March last, is a letter from Father +McMahon, a Missionary, dated at Sherbrooke, in Canada, in which, as +will be seen by the extracts given beyond, he does not even allude to +any other testimony than this. Of course my readers will allow that I +have reason to say--"Here, then, is the whole!" + +The following extracts are given for several reasons. 1st. To prove, by +the admission of my adversaries themselves, that no new testimony has +been produced since the publication of the Montreal affidavits. 2d. +That no disposition is shown to bring the truth to the only fair +test--the opening of the Nunnery. 3d. That they are inconsistent in +several respects, as, while they pretend to leave the characters of the +priests and nuns to defend themselves, they labour with great zeal and +acrimony to quiet public suspicion, and to discredit my testimony. 4th. +Another object in giving these extracts is, to show a specimen of the +style of most of the Roman Catholic writers against me. In respect to +argument, temper, and scarcity of facts, Father McMahon is on a level +with the editors of the Diary and Green Banner, judging from such of +their papers as I have seen. + + * * * * * + +_From Father McMahon's Letter to the editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary +of March, 1836._ + +"The silence by which you indulge the latent springs of a mal-propense, +so far from being an argument for culpability, is based upon the +charitableness of a conscious innocence, and is, therefore, highly +commendable. I say it is highly commendable, inasmuch as these worthy +and respectable characters do not deign to answer falsehood, or turn +their attention from their sacred avocations by effectually repelling +allegations which all men, women, and children, able to articulate a +syllable, in the city of Montreal, have repeatedly pronounced to be +utterly false, detestably false, and abominably scandalous. + + * * * * * + +"May I now call upon you, honest Americans, who, though you may differ +from me in doctrinal points of religion, have, I trust, the due regard +for truth and charity towards all mankind; and into whose hand that +instrument of Satan's emissaries may fall, before you believe one +syllable [illegible] attentively to peruse the following _facts_, which +are [illegible] men of learning, of every persuasion, and in every +country, and which you will find, by mature investigation, to serve as +a sufficient key to discover the wicked falsehoods, circulated by the +enemies of truth, in the work called, 'The Disclosures of Maria Monk,' +but which, in consequence of the total absence of truth from the things +therein contained, I have termed (and I think justly on that account), +the devil's prayer-book. I beseech you to give my statements a fair, +but impartial trial, weigh correctly the arguments opposed to them, +according to your judgment--do not allow yourselves to be gulled by the +empty or unmeaning phraseology of some of your bloated, though +temperate, preachers. All I ask for the test of the following +statement, is simply and solely the exercise of your common sense, +without equivocation. 1st. I distinctly and unequivocally state, that +the impugners of the Catholic religion and its doctrines, never dared +to meet us in the fair field of argument. Never yet have they entered +the lists in an eristical encounter, but to their cost. Why so? because +we have reason, religion, and the impenetrable shield of true +syllogistic argumentation in our favour. Witness, in support of the +assertion, the stupid and besotted crew (pardon me for this expression, +and find a proper term yourselves, for the politico-Theological +Charlatans of England), who, not daring to encounter the Catholic +Hierarchy of Ireland, in an honorable religious disputation, are forced +to drag to their assistance those very apostates from Catholicity who +were considered by their superiors unworthy of the situation they +attempted to hold in that Church; for the purpose of propping up the +staggering and debauched harlot, whose grave they are now preparing. +Only remark how they are obliged to have recourse to the exploded +scholastic opinion of Peter Dens, by way of showing the intolerance of +the Catholics, who repudiate the doctrine of religious intolerance. +Maryland, Bavaria, and the Cantons of Switzerland, prove the contrary +by their universal religious toleration. Now I could mention, if I +thought I had space enough on this sheet, numbers of Protestant +divines, who, in their writings, have strongly inculcated the absurd +doctrines of ruling our consciences by the authority of the Civil +Magistrates. See then, how strange it is that they seek to condemn us +for doctrines which we abhor, and which they practice, even to this +day. Mark that for an argument against our doctrines. + +"2dly. I assert, that notwithstanding all the persecutions, all the +falsehood and defamation daily exercised against the Catholics and +their religion, they are at this moment the only people on the face of +the earth, who maintain amongst them the unity of the true faith, and +the regular succession in the Ministry, from Christ and his Apostles. + +"3dly. I assert, that the late scandalous production against the +Catholic Clergy of Montreal and the Catholic institutions there, is a +tissue of false, foul, designing, and scandalous misrepresentation. +1st. Because upon strict examination into all its bearings, it has been +so proved upon the solemn oaths of a magistrate and others concerned. +2dly. Because it is no way consonant to reason or common sense to say +that those living at a considerable distance, and avowedly hostile to +the Catholics and their religion, should feel so interested in the +matter? as the Catholics themselves, who are vitally concerned, and who +had every facility of discovering any impropriety; who are zealous of +the purity of their religion and its Ministers. 3dly. Because the loud +cry of all the inhabitants of every denomination, from the well-known +integrity, the extraordinary piety, the singular charity and +devotedness of the Catholic Clergy, came in peals of just wrath and +well-merited indignation on the heads of the degenerate monsters who +basely, but ineffectually, attempted to murder the unsullied fame of +those whom they deservedly held, and will hold, in the highest +estimation. + +"T. B. McMahon, _Missionary_." + +Now this letter alludes to testimony legally given, as substantiating +the charges against me. What testimony is intended? Any new testimony? +If so, where, and what is it? I never heard of any, of any description, +except what I have inserted on the preceding pages, unless I except the +violent, unsupported, and inconsistent assertion in newspapers, before +alluded to. Has any testimony, legally given, been produced, which +neither the Catholic Diary, nor any other Catholic paper, has either +inserted or alluded to? No. The Missionary, McMahon, must refer to the +Montreal affidavits; and since he has expressed his opinion in relation +to their credibility and weight, I request my readers to form their own +opinions, as I have put the means in their power. + +It may, perhaps, appear to some, an act displaying uncommon "_concern_" +in my affairs, or those of the Convent, for Father McMahon to take the +pains to write on the subject from Canada. I know more of him and his +concerns than the public do; and I am glad that my book has reached +him. Happy would it have been for him, if he could prove that he did +not leave Sherbrooke from the day when I took the Black veil, until the +day when I cast it off. There are many able to bear witness against him +in that institution (if they have not been removed), and one out of it, +who could easily silence him, by disclosures that he has too much +reason to apprehend. + +But to return--I assure my readers, then, that this book contains all +the testimony that has been brought against me, so far as I can +ascertain. + +The extensive publication of the Montreal affidavits (for they appeared +in the Roman Catholic papers, and were circulated, it is believed, very +generally through New York), for a time, almost entirely closed the +newspapers against me. My publishers addressed the following letter to +the editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary, and waited on him with a third +person, to request its publication in his next paper, but he declined. +He expressed doubts of my being in the city, and intimated a wish to +see me; but when they acceded, he refused to meet me anywhere but _at +his own residence!_ + +The same letter was then offered to other editors in New York, and even +sent to Philadelphia for publication, but refused. It appeared on the +29th of February, in the Brooklyn Star, thus introduced:-- + +_Extracts from the Long Island Star of Feb. 29th._ + +"Since the publication of our last paper, we have received a +communication from Messrs. Howe and Bates, of New York, the publishers +of Miss Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' It appears that some influences +have been at work in that city, adverse to the free examination of the +case between her and the priests of Canada; for thus far the news +papers have been almost entirely closed against every thing in her +defence, while most of them have published false charges against the +book, some of a preposterous nature, the contradiction of which is +plain and palpable. + +"Returning to New York, she then first resolved to publish her story, +which she has recently done, after several intelligent and +disinterested persons had satisfied themselves by much examination that +it was _true_. + +"When it became known in Canada that this was her intention, six +affidavits were published in some of the newspapers, intended to +destroy confidence in her character; but these were found very +contradictory in several important points, and others to afford +undersigned confirmation of statements before made by her. + +"On the publication of her book, the New York Catholic Diary, the Truth +Teller, the Green Banner, and other papers, made virulent attacks upon +it, and one of them proposed that the publishers should be 'Lynched.' +An anonymous handbill was also circulated in New York, declaring the +work a malignant libel, got up by Protestant clergymen, and promising +an ample refutation of it in a few days. This was re-published in the +Catholic Diary, &c. with the old Montreal affidavits which latter were +also distributed through New York and Brooklyn; and on the authority of +these, several Protestant newspapers denounced the work as false and +malicious. + +"Another charge, quite inconsistent with the rest, was also made, not +only by the leading Roman Catholic papers, but by several others at +second hand--viz. that it was a mere copy of an old European work. This +has been promptly denied by the publishers, with the offer of $100 +reward for any book at all resembling it. + +"Yet, such is the resolution of some and the unbelief of others, that +it is impossible for the publishers to obtain insertion for their +replies in the New York papers generally, and they have been +unsuccessful in an attempt in Philadelphia. + +"This is the ground on which the following article has been offered to +us for publication in the Star. It was offered to Mr. Schneller, a +Roman priest, and editor of the Catholic Diary, for insertion in his +paper of Saturday before last, but refused, although written expressly +as an answer to the affidavits and charges his previous number had +contained. This article has also been refused insertion in a +Philadelphia daily paper, after it had been satisfactorily ascertained +that there was no hope of gaining admission for it into any of the New +York papers. + +"It should be stated, in addition, that the authoress of the book, +Maria Monk, is in New York, and stands ready to answer any questions, +and submit to any inquiries, put in a proper manner, and desires +nothing so strongly as an opportunity to prove before a court the truth +of her story. She has already found several persons of respectability +who have confirmed some of the facts, important and likely to be +attested by concurrent evidence; and much testimony in her favour may +be soon expected by the public. + +"With these facts before them, intelligent readers will judge for +themselves. She asks for investigation, while her opponents deny her +every opportunity to meet the charges made against her. Mr. Schneller, +after expressing a wish to see her, to the publishers, refused to meet +her anywhere, _unless in his own house;_ while Mr. Quarter, another +Roman Catholic priest, called to see her, at ten o'clock, one night, +accompanied by another man, without giving their names, and under the +false pretence of being bearers of a letter from her brother in +Montreal." + + * * * * * + +_Reply to the Montreal Affidavits, refused publication by the Catholic +Diary &c._ + +"To the Editor of the Catholic Diary. + +"SIR--In your paper of last Saturday, you published six affidavits from +Montreal, which are calculated, so far as they are believed, to +discredit the truth of the 'Awful Disclosures' of Maria Monk, a book of +which we are the publishers. We address the following remarks to you, +with a request that you will publish them in the Catholic Diary, that +your readers may have the means of judging for themselves. If the case +be so plain a one as you seem to suppose, they will doubtless perceive +more plainly the bearing and force of the evidence you present, when +they see it brought into collision with that which it is designed to +overthrow. + +"First, We have to remark, that the affidavits which you publish might +have been furnished you in this city, without the trouble or delay of +sending to Montreal. They have been here two or three months, and were +carefully examined about that period by persons who are acquainted with +Maria Monk's story, and were desirous of ascertaining the truth. After +obtaining further evidence from Canada these affidavits were decided to +contain strong confirmation of various points in her story, then +already written down, only part of which has yet been published. + +"Second. It is remarkable that of these six affidavits, the first is +that of Dr. Robinson, and all the rest are signed by him as Justice of +the Peace; and a Justice, too, who had previously refused to take the +affidavit of Maria Monk. Yet, unknown to himself, this same Dr. R., by +incidents of his own stating, corroborates some very important parts of +Miss Monk's statements. He says, indeed, that he has ascertained where +she was part of the time when she professed to have been in the +Nunnery. But his _evidence_ on this point is merely hearsay, and he +does not even favour us with that. + +"Third, One of the affidavits is that of Miss Monk's mother, who claims +to be a Protestant, and yet declares, that she proposed to send her +infant grandchild to a Nunnery! She says her daughter has long been +subject to fits of insanity, (of which, however, we can say no traces +are discoverable in New York,) and has never been in a Nunnery since +she was at school in one, while quite a child. She however does not +mention where her daughter has spent any part of the most important +years of her life. A large part of her affidavit, as well as several +others, is taken up with matter relating to one of the persons who +accompanied Miss M. to Montreal last summer, and has no claim to be +regarded as direct evidence for or against the authenticity of her book. + +"Fourth, The affidavit of Nancy McGan is signed with a cross, as by one +ignorant of writing; and she states that she visited a house of ill +fame, (to all appearance alone,) although, as she asserts, to bring +away Miss M. Her testimony, therefore, does not present the strongest +claims to our confidence. Besides, it is known that she has shown great +hostility, to Miss Monk, in the streets of Montreal: and she would not, +it is believed, have had much influence on an intelligent court or +jury, against Miss M., in that city, if the latter had been fortunate +enough to obtain the legal investigation into her charges, which as Dr. +R. mentions, she declared to be the express object of her visit to that +city, in the last summer, and in which she failed, after nearly a +month's exertion. + +"Fifth, The affidavit of Mr. Goodenough is contradicted in one point by +the letter of Mr. Richey, a Wesleyan minister, which you insert, and +contains little else of any importance to this or any other case. * * * +* + +"Sixth, You copied in a conspicuous manner, from a Catholic paper in +Boston, a charge against the book, the groundlessness of which has been +exposed in some of the New York papers, viz. that large parts of it +were, 'word for word and letter for letter.' (names only altered,) +copied from a book published some years ago in Europe, under the title +of 'The Gates of Hell opened.' We have not seen in your paper any +correction of this aspersion, although the assertion of it has placed +you in a dilemma; for, if such were the fact, as you asserted, the +Montreal affidavits would have little application to the case. Besides, +that book, having proceeded from Catholics, and relating, as was +intimated, to scenes in European Convents, divulged by witnesses not +chargeable with prejudices against them, is to be taken for true with +other names; and therefore the charge of extravagance or improbability, +which is so much urged against our book, is entirely nullified, without +appealing to other sources of information which cannot be objected to. + +"But before closing, allow us to remark, that you, who claim so +strongly the confidence of your readers in the testimony of witnesses +in Montreal, who speak only of things collateral to the main subject in +question, must be prepared to lay extraordinary weight on evidence of a +higher nature, and must realize something of the anxiety with which we, +and the American public generally, we believe, stand ready to receive +the evidence to be displayed to the eye and to the touch, either for or +against the solemn declaration of Miss Monk, whenever the great test +shall be applied to which she appeals, viz. the opening of the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. Then, sir, and not till then, will the great +question be settled,--Is our book true or false? Affidavits may +possibly be multiplied, although you say, 'Here, then, is the whole!' +Dr. Robertson may be called again to testify, or receive testimony as +Justice of the Peace,--but the question is _not_, what do people +believe or think _outside_ of the _Convent?_ but, _'what has been done +in it?'_ + +"By the issue of this investigation, Miss Monk declares she is ready to +stand or fall. + +"You speak, sir, of the 'backwardness' of persons to appear in defence +of Miss Monk's book. We promise to appear as often on the subject as +you are willing to publish our communications. In one of the paragraphs +you publish, our book is spoken of as one of the evils arising from a +'_free_ press.' We think, sir, that 'a free press' is exposed to less +condemnation through the 'Awful Disclosures,' than the 'close +Nunneries' which it is designed to expose. + +"Respectfully, &c + +"New York, Feb. 22d, 1836." + + * * * * * + +The above was afterward copied in other papers. The following +certificate appeared in the Protestant Vindicator, and other papers, in +March, 1836, introducing the two first witnesses. + +"_The truth of Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures' amply certified._ + +"We the subscribers, having an acquaintance with Miss Maria Monk, and +having considered the evidence of different kinds which has been +collected in relation to her case, have no hesitation in declaring our +belief in the truth of the statements she makes in her book recently +published in New York, entitled 'Awful Disclosures,' &c. We at that +same time declare that the assertion, originally made in the Roman +Catholic newspapers of Boston, that the book was copied from a work +entitled 'The Gates of Hell opened,' is wholly destitute of foundation; +it being entirely new, and not copied from any thing whatsoever. + +"And we further declare, that _no evidence has yet been produced which +discredits the statements of Miss Monk; while, on the contrary, her +story has received, and continues to receive, confirmation from various +sources._ + +"During the last week, two important witnesses spontaneously appeared, +and offered to give public testimony in her favour. From them the +following declarations have been received. The first is an affidavit +given by Mr. William Miller, now a resident of this city. The second is +a statement received from a young married woman, who, with her husband, +also resides here. In the clear and repeated statements made by these +two witnesses, we place entire reliance; who are ready to furnish +satisfaction to any persons making reasonable inquiries on the subject. + +"W. C. BROWNLEE. + +"JOHN J. SLOCUM. + +"ANDREW BRUCE. + +"D. FANSHAW. + +"AMOS BELDEN. + +"DAVID WESSON. + +"THOMAS HOGAN." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF WILLIAM MILLER.) + +"_City and County of New York, ss._ + +"William Miller being duly sworn, doth say--I knew Maria Monk when she +was quite a child, and was acquainted with all her father's family. My +father, Mr. Adam Miller, kept the government school at St. John's, +Lower Canada, for some years. Captain Wm. Monk, Maria's father, lived +in the garrison, a short distance from the village, and she attended +the school with me for some months, probably as much as a year. Her +four brothers also attended with us. Our families were on terms of +intimacy, as my father had a high regard for Captain Monk; but the +temper of his wife was such, even at that time, as to cause much +trouble. Captain Monk died very suddenly, as was reported, in +consequence of being poisoned. Mrs. Monk was then keeper of the +Government House in Montreal, and received a pension, which privilege +she has since enjoyed. In the summer of 1832, I left Canada, and came +to this city. In about a year afterward I visited Montreal, and on the +day when the Governor reviewed the troops, I believe about the end of +August, I called at the Government House, where I saw Mrs. Monk and +several of the family. I inquired where Maria was, and she told me that +she was in the nunnery. This fact I well remember, because the +information gave me great pain, as I had unfavorable opinions of the +nunneries. On reading the 'Awful Disclosures,' I at once knew she was +the eloped nun, but was unable to find her until a few days since, when +we recognized each other immediately. I give with pleasure my testimony +in her favour, as she is among strangers, and exertions have been made +against her. I declare my personal knowledge of many facts stated in +her book, and my full belief in the truth of her story, which, shocking +as it is, cannot appear incredible to those persons acquainted with +Canada. + +"WILLIAM MILLER. + +"Sworn before me, this 3d day of March, 1836. + +"BENJAMIN D. K. CRAIG, + +"Commissioner of Deeds, &c." + + * * * * * + +_From the Protestant Vindicator of March 9._ + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness +above-mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +(TESTIMONY OF ANOTHER OLD SCHOOLMATE.) + +"I was born at Montreal, and resided there until within a few months, +and where my friends still remain. I was educated among the Catholics, +and have never separated myself from them. + +"I knew Maria Monk when quite a child. We went to school together for +about a year, as near as I can remember, to Mr. Workman, +Sacrament-street, in Montreal. She is about one month younger than +myself. We left that school at the same time, and entered the +Congregational Nunnery nearly together. I could mention many things +which I witnessed there, calculated to confirm some of her accounts. + +"I knew of the elopement of a priest named Leclerc, who was a +confessor, with a nun sent from the Congregational Nunnery to teach in +a village. They were brought back, after which she gave birth to an +infant, and was again employed as a teacher. + +"Children were often punished in the Congregational Nunnery, by being +made to stand with arms extended, to imitate Christ's posture on the +cross; and when we found vermin in our soup, as was often the case, we +were exhorted to overcome our repugnance to it, because Christ died for +us. I have seen such belts as are mentioned in the 'Awful Disclosures,' +as well as gags; but never saw them applied. + +"Maria Monk left the Congregational Nunnery before I did, and became a +Novice in the Hotel Dieu. I remember her entrance into the latter very +well, for we had a 'jour de congé,' holiday, on that occasion. + +"Some short time subsequently, after school hours one afternoon, while +in the school-room in the second story of the Congregational Nunnery, +several of the girls standing near a window exclaimed, 'There is Maria +Monk.' I sprang to the window to look, and saw her with several other +novices, in the yard of the Hotel Dieu, among the plants which grew +there. She did not appear to notice us, but I perfectly recognised her. + +"I have frequently visited the public hospital of the Hotel Dieu. It is +the custom there for some of the nuns and novices to enter at three +o'clock, P.M., in procession with food and delicacies for the sick. I +recollect some of my visits there by circumstances attending them. For +instance, I was much struck, on several occasions, by the beauty of a +young novice, whose slender, graceful form, and interesting appearance, +distinguished her from the rest. On inquiry, I learnt that her name was +Dubois, or something like it, and the daughter of an old man who had +removed from the country, and lived near the Place d'Armes. She was so +generally admired for her beauty, that she was called 'la belle St. +François'--St. Francis being the saint's name she had assumed in the +Convent. + +"I frequently went to the hospital to see two of my particular friends +who were novices: and subsequently to visit one who had a sore throat, +and was sick for some weeks. I saw Maria Monk there many times, in the +dress of a novice, employed in different ways but we were never allowed +to speak to each other. + +"Towards the close of the winter of 1833-4, I visited the hospital of +the Hotel Dieu very frequently, to see Miss Bourke, a friend of mine, +although I was not permitted to speak with her. While there one day, at +the hour of _'congé'_ or _'collation'_ which, as I before stated, was +at three P.M., a procession of nuns and novices entered, and among the +former I saw Maria Monk, with a black veil, &c. She perceived and +recognized me; but put her finger on her lips in token of silence; and +knowing how rigidly the rules were enforced, I did not speak. + +"A short time afterward, I saw her again in the same place, and under +similar circumstances. + +"I can fix the year when this occurred, because I recollect that the +nuns in the hospital stared at a red dress I wore that season; and I am +certain about that time of year, because I left my galoshes at the door +before I went in. + +"The improper conduct of a priest was the cause of my leaving the +Congregational Nunnery: for my brother saw him kissing a [illegible] +one day while he was on a visit to me, and exclaimed--'O mon Dieu! what +a place you are in!--If father does not take you out of it I will, if I +have to tear you away.' + +"After the last sight I had of Maria Monk in the hospital, I never saw +nor heard of her, until after I had been for some time an inhabitant of +New York. I then saw an extract from 'Awful Disclosures,' published in +a newspaper, when I was perfectly satisfied that she was the authoress, +and again at liberty. I was unable for several weeks to find her +residence, but at length visited the house when she was absent. Seeing +an infant among a number of persons who were strangers to me, as those +present will testify, I declared that it must be the child mentioned in +her book, from the striking resemblance it bears to Father Phelan, whom +I well know. This declaration has also been made by others. + +"When Maria Monk entered, she passed across the room, without turning +towards me; but I recognised her by her gait, and when she saw me she +knew me at once. I have since spent many hours with her, and am +entirely convinced of the truth of her story, especially as I knew many +things before which tend to confirm the statements which she makes." + +["It is superfluous to add any thing to the above testimony. Let the +Roman priests of Montreal open the Hotel Dieu Nunnery for our +inspection, and thus confute Maria Monk: or, Mr. Conroy is again +challenged to institute a criminal process against her, or a civil suit +against the publishers of her volume--They dare not place the eloped +nun or her booksellers in that 'Inquisition;' because they know that it +would only be 'putting themselves to the torture!'"--_Ed. Prot. Vind._] + + * * * * * + +_From The Protestant Vindicator of March 16th._ + +"We recommend the following communications to all persons who doubt the +wickedness of Nunneries. The young gentleman who sent us the letter is +now in this city, and we have heard the same statements from other +witnesses. That subterraneous passages from the Seminary to the +Nunneries, we ourselves have seen, and close by the spot designated by +our correspondent:-- + +(STATEMENT OF J. M.) + +_"Underground passage from the Jesuit Seminary to the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, Montreal._ + +"I have been informed that you are endeavoring to obtain facts and +other incidental circumstances relative to the Black Nunnery, in +Montreal, and the disclosures concerning it, made by Maria Monk, in +which are many hard things, but hard as they are, they are not +indigestible by us Canadians; we believe that she has told but a small +part of what she must know, if she was but half the time there which +she says she was. Maria Monk has mentioned in her book something about +the underground passage which leads from the Black Nunnery to other +places in Montreal. That fact I know by ocular demonstration, and which +nine tenths of the Canadians also will not deny, for it has been opened +several times by the labourers, who have been digging for the purpose +of laying pipes to conduct gas and water. While preparing a place for +the latter I saw one of those passages; the earth being removed by the +labourers, they struck upon the top of the passage, and curiosity led +them to see what was beneath, for it sounded as though there was a +hollow. They accordingly removed the large flat stones which formed the +top of the passage. Many persons were looking on at the time, and +several of them went down into it; when they returned after a few +minutes, they stated that they went but a short distance, before they +came to an intersection of passages, and were afraid to proceed +further. Shortly after, several priests were on the spot, and prevented +the people from further examining it; and had the place shut up +immediately, while they stood by and guarded it until it was all done. +The appearance of that part of the passage was the same as I saw while +they were laying the water pipes. The floor of it in both [illegible] +where I saw it was clean to appearance, with the exception of a little +dirt that fell in on opening them, and of stone flagging. I have heard +much about these underground passages in Montreal, in which place I +have spent the most of my days. I give you my name and residence: and +if you should be called upon from any quarter for the truth of this +statement. I am ready to attest it upon oath; and there are others in +this city who have witnessed the same things. The places where those +openings were made in the underground passages were in St. Joseph +street for the water pipes; and for the gas pipes in Notre-Dame street, +near Sacrament street, at a short distance from the Seminary. + +"W. M." + + * * * * * + +About the close of February last, a note was sent me from a person +signing himself the man who took me to the Almshouse. Soon after I had +an interview with Mr. Hilliker, whom I recognised as my first protector +in New York, and to whom I owe much--indeed, as I think, my life. He +kindly offered to give me his testimony, which follows:-- + +_From the New York Journal of Commerce_. + +(AFFIDAVIT OF JOHN HILLIKER,) + +_"City and County of New York, ss._ + +"John Hilliker, being duly sworn, doth depose and say--that one day +early in the month of May, 1835, while shooting near the Third Avenue, +opposite the three milestone, in company with three friends, I saw a +woman sitting in a field at a short distance, who attracted our +attention. On reaching her, we found her sitting with her head down, +and could not make her return any answer to our questions. On raising +her hat, we saw that she was weeping. She was dressed in an old calico +frock, (I think of a greenish colour,) with a checked apron, and an old +black bonnet. After much delay and weeping, she began to answer my +questions, but not until I had got my companions to leave us, and +assured her that I was a married man, and disposed to befriend her. + +"She then told me that her name was Maria, that she had been a nun in a +nunnery in Montreal, from which she had made her escape, on account of +the treatment she had received from priests in that institution, whose +licentious conduct she strongly intimated to me. She mentioned some +particulars concerning the Convent and her escape. She spoke +particularly of a small room where she used to attend, until the +physician entered to see the sick, when she accompanied him to write +down his prescriptions; and said that she escaped through a door which +he sometimes entered. She added, that she exchanged her dress after +leaving the nunnery, and that she came to New York in company with a +man, who left her as soon as the steamboat arrived. She farther stated, +that she expected soon to give birth to a child, having become pregnant +in the Convent; that she had no friend, and knew not where to find one; +that she thought of destroying her life; and wished me to leave +her--saying, that if I should hear of a woman being found drowned in +the East River, she earnestly desired me never to speak of her. + +"I asked her if she had had any food that day, to which she answered, +no; and I gave her money to get some at the grocery of Mr. Cox, in the +neighbourhood. She left me, but I afterwards saw her in the fields, +going towards the river; and after much urgency, prevailed upon her to +go to a house where I thought she might be accommodated, offering to +pay her expenses. Failing in this attempt, I persuaded her, with much +difficulty, to go the Almshouse; and there we got her received, after I +had promised to call and see her, as she said she had something of +great consequence which she wished to communicate to me, and wished me +to write a letter to Montreal. + +"She had every appearance of telling the truth; so much so, that I have +never for a moment doubted the truth of her story, but told it to many +persons of my acquaintance, with entire confidence in its truth. She +seemed overwhelmed with grief, and in a very desperate state of mind. I +saw her weep for two hours or more without ceasing; and appeared very +feeble when attempting to walk, so that two of us supported her by the +arms. We observed also, that she always folded her hands under her +apron when she walked, as she has described the nuns as doing in her +'Awful Disclosures.' + +"I called at the Almshouse gate several times and inquired for her; but +having forgotten half her name, I could not make it understood whom I +wished to see, and did not see her until the last week. When I saw some +of the first extracts from her book in a newspaper, I was confident +that they were parts of her story, and when I read the conclusion of +the work, I had not a doubt of it. Indeed, many things in the course of +the book I was prepared for from what she had told me. + +"When I saw her, I recognised her immediately, although she did not +know me at first, being in a very different dress. As soon as she was +informed where she had seen me, she recognised me. I have not found in +the book any thing inconsistent with what she had stated to me when I +first saw her. + +"When I first found her in May, 1835, she had evidently sought +concealment. She had a letter in her hand, which she refused to let me +see; and when she found I was determined to remove her, she tore it in +small pieces, and threw them down. Several days after I visited the +spot again and picked them up, to learn something of the contents but +could find nothing intelligible, except the first part of the +Signature, 'Maria.' + +"Of the truth of her story I have not the slightest doubt, and I think +I never can until the Nunnery is opened and examined. + +"JOHN HILLIKER. + +"Sworn before me, this 14th of March, 1835. + +"PETER JENKINS, + +"Commissioner of Deeds." + +The following challenge was published in the N. Y. Protestant +Vindicator for six or seven weeks, in March and April, without a reply. + +"CHALLENGE--The Roman Prelate and Priests of Montreal--Messrs. Conroy, +Quarter, and Schneller, of New York--Messrs. Fenwick and Byrne of +Boston--Mr. Hughes of Philadelphia--the Arch-Prelate of Baltimore, and +his subordinate Priests--and Cardinal England of Charleston, with all +other Roman Priests, and every Nun from Baffin's bay to the Gulf of +Mexico, are hereby challenged to meet an investigation of the truth of +Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures,' before an impartial assembly, over +which shall preside _seven_ gentlemen; three to be selected by the +Roman Priests, three by the Executive Committee of the New York +Protestant Association, and the Seventh as Chairman, to be chosen by +the six. + +"An eligible place in New York shall be appointed and the regulations +for the decorum and order of the meetings, with all the other +arrangements, shall be made by the above gentlemen. + +"All communications upon this subject from any of the Roman Priests or +Nuns, either individually, or as delegates for their superiors, +addressed to the _Corresponding Secretary of the New York Protestant +Association_, No. 142 Nassau-street, New York, will be promptly +answered." + + * * * * * + +_From the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator of April 6, 1836._ + +"THE CHALLENGE.--We have been waiting with no small degree of +impatience to hear from some of the Roman priests. But neither they, +nor their sisters, the nuns, nor one of their nephews or _nieces_, have +yet ventured to come out. Our longings meet only with disappointment. +Did ever any person hear of similar conduct on the part of men accused +of the highest crimes, in their deepest dye? Here is a number of Roman +priests, as actors, or accessories, openly denounced before the world +as guilty, of the most outrageous sins against the sixth and seventh +commandments. They are charged before the world with adultery, +fornication, and murder! The allegations are distinctly made, the place +is mentioned, the parties are named, and the time is designated; for it +is lasting as the annual revolutions of the seasons. And what is most +extraordinary,--_the highest official authorities in Canada know that +all those statements are true, and they sanction and connive at the +iniquity!_--The priests and nuns have been offered, for several months +past, the most easy and certain mode to disprove the felonies imputed +to them, and they are still as the dungeons of the Inquisition, silent +as the death-like quietude of the convent cell; and as retired as if +they were in the subterraneous passages between the Nunnery and +Lartigue's habitation. Now, we contend, that scarcely a similar +instance of disregard for the opinions of mankind, can be found since +the Reformation, at least, in a Protestant country. Whatever disregard +for the judgment of others, the Romish priests may have felt, where the +Inquisition at their command, and the civil power was their Jackal and +their Hyena: they have been obliged to pay some little regard to the +opinion of protestants, and to the dread of exposure. We therefore +repeat the solemn indubitable truth--that the facts which are stated by +Maria Monk, respecting the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, are true as +the existence of the priests and nuns,--that the character, principles, +and practices of the Jesuits and Nuns in Canada are most accurately +delineated--that popish priests, and sisters of charity in the United +States, are their faithful and exact counterparts--that many female +schools in the United States, kept by the papist teachers, are nothing +more than places of decoy through which young women, at the most +delicate age, are ensnared into the power of the Roman priests--and +that the toleration of the monastic system in the United States and +Britain, the only two countries in the world, in which that unnatural +abomination is now extending its withering influence, is high treason +against God and mankind. If American citizens and British Christians, +after the appalling developments which have been made, permit the +continuance of that prodigious wickedness which is inseparable from +nunneries and the celibacy of popish priests, they will ere long +experience that divine castigation which is justly due to +transgressors, who wilfully trample upon all the appointments of God, +and who subvert the foundation of national concord, and extinguish the +comforts of domestic society. Listen to the challenge again! _All the +papers with which the Protestant Vindicator exchanges, are requested to +give the challenge one or two insertions_." (Here it was repeated.) + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of a friend in the hospital_ + +_Statement_ made by a respectable woman, who had the charge of me +during a part of my stay in the Bellevue Hospital, in New York. She is +ready to substantiate it. It is now first published. + +"I was employed as an occasional assistant in the Bellevue Hospital, in +New York, in the spring of the year 1835. My department was in the +Middle House and the pantry. I was present one day in the room of Mrs. +Johnston, the Matron, when a man came in with a young woman, and gave a +note to Mrs. J., (which I understood was from Col. Fish.) the +Superintendent, Mr. Stevens, being out. The female was dressed in a +light blue calico frock, a salmon-coloured shawl, and a black bonnet, +under which was a plain cap, something like a night-cap, which I +afterward understood was a nun's cap. Being occupied at that time, I +paid no attention to the conversation which took place between her and +the Matron; but I soon heard that she was a nun who had escaped from a +convent in Canada, who had been found in a destitute condition, by some +persons shooting in the fields, and that she was in such a situation as +to demand comforts and careful treatment. + +"She was placed in room No. 33, where most of the inmates were aged +American women; but as she appeared depressed and melancholy, the next +day Mr. Stevens brought her into No. 26, and put her under my +particular charge, as he said the women in that room were younger. They +were, however, almost all Roman Catholics as there are many in the +institution generally. + +"I told her she might confide in me, as I felt for her friendless and +unhappy situation; and finding her ignorant of the Bible, and +entertaining some superstitious views, I gave her one, and advised her +to read the scriptures, and judge for herself. We had very little +opportunity to converse in private; and although she several times said +she wished she could tell me something, no opportunity offered, as I +was with her only now and then, when I could step into the room for a +few minutes. I discouraged her from talking, because those around +appeared to be constantly listening, and some told her not to mind +'that heretic.' + +"Seeing her unhappy state of mind, it was several times proposed to her +to see Mr. Tappan; and, after a week or two, as I should judge, he +visited her, advised her to read the Bible, and judge for herself of +her duty. + +"One Sabbath I invited her to attend service, and we went to hear Mr. +Tappan preach; but after her return, some of the Irish women told her +to go no more, but mind her own religion. This produced an impression +upon her, for she seemed like a child of tender feeling, gentle, and +disposed to yield. She bound herself round my heart a good deal, she +was of so affectionate a turn. The rudeness with which she was treated +by several of the women, when they dared, would sometimes overcome her. +A large and rather old woman, named Welsh, one of the inmates, entered +the room one day, very abruptly, saying, 'I want to see this virtuous +nun;' and abused her with most shameful language, so that I had to +return to her, and complain of her to the Superintendent, who was +shocked at such impudence in a foreign pauper, so that she was put into +another room. Maria was washing her hands at the time Mrs. Welsh came +in, and was so much agitated, that she did not raise her head, and +almost fainted, so that I had to lift her upon a bed. + +"Before this occurrence, the women would often speak to Maria while I +was away and, as I had every reason to believe, endeavoured to persuade +her to go to the priests. I told them that they ought rather to protect +her, as she had come to the same country where they had sought +protection. + +"Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest, used to be regularly at the institution +two or three times a week, from about 10 till 1 o'clock, both before +and after Maria Monk became an inmate of it. No. 10 was his +confession-room. He baptised children in the square-ward, and sometimes +visited the sick Catholics in other rooms. Sometimes he went up in the +afternoon also. + +"I heard it said, that Mr. Conroy had asked to speak with Maria: and +that an offer was made to him that he might see her before others, but +not otherwise, to which Mr. Conroy did not consent. + +"Sometimes Maria was much disturbed in her sleep, starting suddenly, +with every appearance of terror. Some nights she did not sleep at all, +and often told me, what I had no doubt was the fact, that she was too +much agitated by the recollection of what she had seen in the Nunnery. +She would sometimes say in the morning, 'O, if I could tell you! You +think you have had trouble, but I have had more than ever you did.' + +"Her distressing state of mind, with the trials caused by those around +her, kept me constantly thinking of Maria, so that when employed at a +distance from her, I would often run to her room, to see how she was +for a moment, and back again. Fortunately, the women around held me +somewhat in fear, because they found my reports of the interference of +some were attended to; and this kept them more at a distance; yet they +would take advantage of my absence sometimes. One day, on coming to No. +23. I found Maria all in a tremour, and she told me that Mrs. ----, one +of the Roman Catholic nurses, had informed her that Mr. Conroy was in +the institution, and wished to see her. 'And what shall I do?' she +inquired of me, in great distress. + +"I told her not to be afraid, and that she should be protected, as she +was among friends, and endeavoured to quiet her fears all I could; but +it was very difficult to do so. One of the women in the house, I know, +told Maria, in my presence, one day, that Mr. Conroy was waiting in the +passage to see her. The present Superintendent (another Mr. Stevens) +succeeded the former while Maria and I were in the Hospital. Abby Welsh +(not the Mrs. Welsh mentioned before) got very angry with me one day, +because, as usual on the days when Mr. Conroy came, I was watchful to +prevent his having an interview with Maria. Another person, for a time, +used to employ her in sewing in her room on those days, for she also +protected her, as well in this way, as by reproving those who troubled +her. Abby Welsh, finding me closely watching Maria on the day I was +speaking of, told me, in a passion, that I might watch her as closely +as I pleased--Mr. Conroy _would have her_. Not long after this, I saw +Abby Welsh talking earnestly with Mr. Conroy, in the yard, under one of +the windows of the Middle House, and heard her say, 'the nun,' and +afterward, 'she's hid.' + +"A Roman Catholic woman, who supposed that Maria had been seen in St. +Mary's Church, expressed a wish that she could have caught her there; +and said, she would never again have made her appearance. I inquired +whether there was any place where she could have been confined. She +replied, in a reserved, but significant manner, 'There is at least one +cell there for her.' + +"New York, March 23d, 1836." + +It would be a natural question, if my readers should ask, "What said +the Roman Catholics to such testimonials? They laid great stress on +affidavits sent for to Montreal; what do they think of affidavits +spontaneously given in New York?" + +So far as I know, they have republished but one, and that is Mr. +Miller's! + +The New York Catholic Diary of March 19th, said-- + +"We take the following _overwhelming_ testimony from the _Brooklyn +American Citizen_ of the 11th instant: + +"The following affidavits, &c., are copied from the last No. of the +'Protestant Vindicator,' and prove, it seems to us, taken with other +corroborating circumstances, the falsehood and irrelevancy of the +testimony against Miss Monk, and therefore establish the truth of her +narrative:" + +(Here it inserted Mr. Miller's affidavit, and then added:) + +"What is the weight of the affidavit? Of ponderous import? I inquired +where Maria was, and she told me she was in the Nunnery? Therefore she +is an eloped Nun. Marvellous logical affidavit! We may say, that when +an inquiry is made after the editor of this paper, and the answer is, +that he was in Protestant Church, therefore he is a Protestant +minister." + +The Rev. Mr. Schneller, (for a Catholic priest is the editor of that +paper,) thus tries to slide over the important testimony of Mr. Miller, +and in doing it, admits that I was in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in the +summer of 1832. Of course, _he admits then, that Dr. Robertson's +testimony to the contrary it false, and gives up the great point which +the Montreal affidavits were intended to settle,_ viz. that I had not +been in any Nunnery--at least, not since I was a child. + +But another thing is worthy of remark. The Diary says, "We take the +following overwhelming testimony from the Brooklyn American Citizen," +yet he really leaves out the greater part of the testimony which that +paper contained, viz. the certificate beginning on page 251. Let any +one turn to that, and ask whether the editor had not some reason to +wish to keep it from his readers? Did he not get rid of it very +ingeniously, when he inserted the following remarks instead of it? + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +"Excellent! 'delicacy to a lady's feelings!!' we are absorbed in an +exclamation of wonder; the _delicate_ name, in a matter of such vast +importance, as that which affects the _truth_ of the slanderous tale, +cannot be mentioned! + +"Therefore, 'we, the subscribers,' 'Brownlee, Slocum, Brace, Fanshaw, +Belden, Wesson, and Hogan,' rest the weight of their authority upon the +'delicacy' of a nameless 'lady's feelings.'" + +Now here Mr. Shellner pretends that the witness was not accessible, and +leaves it in doubt, whether the subscribers, (men of known character +and unimpeachable veracity.) knew any thing of her. Yet it was +expressly stated by them that she was known, and that any reasonable +inquiries would be readily answered. (See p. 249.) + +I have no intention of attempting to enforce the evidence presented in +the testimonials just given. I shall leave every reader to form his own +conclusions independently and dispassionately. I could easily say +things likely to excite the feelings of every one who peruses these +pages--but I prefer to persist in the course I have thus far pursued, +and abstain from all exciting expressions. The things I declare are +sober realities, and nothing is necessary to have them so received, but +that the evidence be calmly laid before the public. + +I will make one or two suggestions here, for the purpose of directing +attention to points of importance, though one or two of them have been +already touched upon. + +1st. One of the six affidavits was given by Dr. Robertson, and the +remaining five were sworn to before him. + +2d. The witnesses speak of interviews with me, on two of the most +distressing days of my life. Now let the reader refer to those +affidavits and then say, whether any expressions which they may have +misunderstood, or any which may have been fabricated for me, (as I +strongly suspect must have been the fact with some,) ought to destroy +my character for credibility; especially when I appeal to evidence so +incontestible as an inspection of the nunnery, and my opponents shrink +from it. Let the reader observe also, that in the interviews spoken of +in the affidavits, no third person is commonly spoken of as present; +while those who are named are most of them inimical to me. + +3d. All the testimony in the affidavits is aimed to destroy my +character, and to prevent me from receiving any credit as a witness. +Not a bit of it meets the charges I make against the priests and nuns. +If they had proved that I never was in the nunnery, that, indeed would +set aside my testimony: but failing to do [illegible], the attempt goes +far to set their own aside. + +Having now fairly shown my readers what reception my first edition met +with, both from enemies and friends, I proceed to the "Sequel" of my +narrative. + +THE END. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + +***** This file should be named 8095-8.txt or 8095-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/8/0/9/8095/ + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. 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Thus, we do not +necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper +edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search +facility: www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/8095-8.zip b/8095-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..20b9575 --- /dev/null +++ b/8095-8.zip diff --git a/8095.txt b/8095.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b13088b --- /dev/null +++ b/8095.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10703 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + +Title: Awful Disclosures + Containing, Also, Many Incidents Never before Published + +Author: Maria Monk + +Posting Date: September 22, 2014 [EBook #8095] +Release Date: May, 2005 +First Posted: June 14, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + + + + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: The original page scans used to create this text +were illegible in places; the notation [illegible] has been used in the +text to indicate these places. Additionally, Chapter XIV was missing +from both the table of contents and the book; presumably this is a +printing error as opposed to an actual missing chapter.] + + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES, + +By + +MARIA MONK, + +Of the + +HOTEL DIEU NUNNERY OF MONTREAL. + +Containing, also, Many Incidents Never Before Published. + + + + +PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +This volume embraces not only my "Awful Disclosures," but a +continuation of my Narrative, giving an account of events after my +escape from the Nunnery, and of my return to Montreal to procure a +legal investigation of my charges. It also [illegible] all the +testimony that has been published against me, or every description, as +well as that which has been given in confirmation of my story. At the +close, will be found a Review of the whole Subject, furnished by a +gentleman well qualified for the purpose; and finally, a copious +Appendix, giving further particulars interesting to the public. + +I present this volume to the reader, with feelings which, I trust, will +be in some degree appreciated when it has been read and reflected upon. +A hasty perusal, and an imperfect apprehension of its contents, can +never produce such impressions as it has been my design to make by the +statements I have laid before the world. I know that misapprehensions +exist in the minds of some virtuous people. I am not disposed to +condemn their motives, for it does not seem wonderful that in a pure +state of society, and in the midst of Christian families, there should +be persons who regard the crimes I have mentioned as too monstrous to +believed. It certainly is creditable to American manners and character, +that the people are inclined, at the first sight, to turn from my story +with horror. + +There is also an excuse for those who, having received only a general +impression concerning the nature of my Disclosures, question the +propriety of publishing such immorality to the world. They fear that +the minds of the young, at least, may be polluted. To such I have to +say, that this objection was examined and set aside, long before they +had an opportunity to make it. I solemnly believe it is necessary to +inform parents, at least, that the ruin from which I have barely +escaped, lies in the way of their children, even if delicacy must be in +some degree wounded by revealing the fact. I understand the case, alas! +from too bitter experience. Many an innocent girl may this year be +exposed to the dangers of which I was ignorant. I am resolved, that so +far as depends on me, not one more victim shall fall into the hands of +those enemies in whose power I so lately have been. I know what it is +to be under the dominion of Nuns and Priests; and I maintain, that it +is a far greater offence against virtue and decency to conceal than to +proclaim their crimes. Ah! had a single warning voice even whispered to +me a word of caution--had even a gentle note of alarm been sounded to +me, it might have turned back my foot from the Convent when it was upon +the threshold! If, therefore, there is any one now bending a step that +way, whom I have, not yet alarmed, I will cry _beware!_ + +But the virtuous reader need not fear, in the following pages, to meet +with vice presented in any dress but her own deformity. No one can +accuse me of giving a single attraction to crime. On the contrary, I +intend my book shall be a warning to those who may hereafter be tempted +by vice; and with the confidence that such it will prove to be, I +commend it to the careful examination of virtuous parents, and am +willing to abide by their unbiased opinion, with regard both to my +truth, my motives, and the interest which the public have in the +developments it contains. + +I would now appeal to the world, and ask, whether I have not done all +that could have been expected of me, and all that lay in my power, to +bring to an investigation the charges I have brought against the +priests and nuns of Canada. Although it was necessary to the cause of +truth, that I should, in some degree, implicate myself, I have not +hesitated to appear as a voluntary self-accuser before the world. While +there was a hope that the authorities in Canada might be prevailed upon +to bring the subject to a legal investigation, I travelled to Montreal +in a feeble state of health, and with an infant in my arms only three +weeks old. In the face of many threats and dangers, I spent nearly a +month in that city, in vain attempts to bring my cause to a trial. When +all prospect of success in this undertaking had disappeared, and not +till then, I determined to make my accusations through the press; and +although misrepresentations and scandals, flattery and threats, have +been resorted to, to nullify or to suppress my testimony, I have +persevered, although, as many of my friends have thought, at the risk +of abduction or death. + +I have, I think, afforded every opportunity that could be reasonably +expected, to judge of my credibility. I have appealed to the existence +of things in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, as the great criterion of the +truth of my story. I have described the apartments, and now, in this +volume, have added many further particulars, with such a description of +them as my memory has enabled me to make. I have offered, in case I +should be proved an impostor, to submit to any punishment which may be +proposed--even to a re-delivery into the hands of my bitterest enemies, +to suffer what they may please to inflict. + +Now, in these circumstances, I would ask the people of the United +States, whether my duty has not been discharged? Have I not done what I +ought--to inform and to alarm them? I would also solemnly appeal to the +Government of Great Britain, under whose guardianship is the province +oppressed by the gloomy institution from which I have escaped, and ask +whether such atrocities ought to be tolerated, and even protected by an +enlightened and Christian power? I trust the hour is near, when the +dens of the Hotel Dieu will be laid open--when the tyrants who have +polluted it will be brought out, with the wretched victims of their +oppression and crimes. + + + +CONTENTS + + * * * * * + +CHAPTER I. + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First School--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the +Nunneries in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black +Nunnery--The Grey Nunnery--Public Respect for these +Institutions--Instruction Received--The Catechism--The Bible + +CHAPTER II. + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery + +CHAPTER III. + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black +Nunnery--Entrance--Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which +they had Access--First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the +Superior--Her Reliques--The Holy Good Shepherd, or nameless +Nun--Confession of Novices + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. +Denis--Reliques--Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made +by some Novices--Ideas of the Bible + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosures--Resolution to Submit + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st +Floor--2d Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of +Novices--Religious Lies--Criminality of concealing Sins at Confession + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the +Cellar--Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's +Instructions--Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the +Nunnery--Opinions expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of +the Scriptures + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the +Convent--Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her +House--The Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane +Ray--Vaccillation of feelings + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports +made to friends of St. Francis + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in +it--Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick +Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of +her Tricks--Feigned Humility--Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made +by stratagem + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives--Jane Ray's +Hymns--The Superior's best Trick + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy +Retreat--Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract +Conscience--Ingenious Arguments + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in +Sleep--Amusements--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased +Nuns--Sudden disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new +one--Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with +other Nuns + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupations in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of War Candles--The Election +Riots--Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders +in the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for +it--Plan--Deliberation--Attempt--Success + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the +night--Disappointment--My first day out of the +Convent--Solitude--Recollections, fears, and plans + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to +land--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before +day--Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a +vagrant--Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it +to Mrs. McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New +York--Arrangements for going + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal +boat--Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to +rain--Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the +Bellevue Almshouse. + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the +priests--Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, +Burlington, St. Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at +Montreal--Reflections on passing the Nunnery. + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his +church--Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit +taken--Legal objection to it when taken + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections The truth of the +work demonstrated + +APPENDIX--Reception of the work--Affidavits--Criticisms of the press, +&c. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +Here is the reprint of one of the most formidable books against +Nunneries ever published. It has produced powerful impressions abroad, +as well as in the United States, and appears destined to have still +greater results. It is the simple narrative of an uneducated and +unprotected female, who escaped from the old Black Nunnery of Montreal, +or Hotel Dieu, and told her tale of sufferings and horrors, without +exaggeration or embellishment. Though assailed by all the powers of the +Romish priesthood, whom she accused, and by the united influence of the +North American press, which, with very small exceptions, was then +unenlightened by the discoveries of the present day, the book remains +unimpeached, and still challenges the test of fair and open examination. + +Many an American female, no doubt, is now living, who might justly +acknowledge that she was saved from exposure to the suffering, or even +the ruin, often the consequences of a Convent education, by the +disinterested warning given in this book; while its author, +disheartened at length by the powerful combination of Protestants and +Papists against her, led to distrust even the few who remained her +friends, destitute of the means of living, and alternately persecuted +and tempted by her ever watchful and insidious enemies, died some years +since, under condemnation (whether just or unjust) for one of the +slightest of the crimes which she had charged against them--thus +falling at last their victim. + +American parents have here a book written for the salvation of their +daughters; American patriots, one designed to secure society against +one of the most destructive but insidious institutions of popery; +American females, an appeal to them of the most solemn kind, to beware +of Convents, and all who attempt to inveigle our unsuspecting daughters +into them, by the secret apparatus of Jesuit schools. The author of +this book was a small, slender, uneducated, and persecuted young woman, +who sought refuge in our country without a protector; but she showed +the resolution and boldness of a heroine, in confronting her powerful +enemies in their strong hold, and proved, by the simple force of truth, +victorious in the violent conflicts which were waged against her by the +Romish hierarchy of America and the popular press of the United States. + +The publishers have thought the present an opportune period to place +this work again in the hands of American readers, with such +information, in a preface, as is necessary to acquaint readers of the +present day with the leading circumstances attending and succeeding its +original publication. They have examined most of the evidence +supporting the truth of the narrative, of which the public can judge as +well as themselves. The details would be voluminous, even of those +portions which have been collected since the heat of the controversy +which the book long ago excited. Suffice it to say, that undesigned and +collateral evidence in corroboration of it has been increasing to the +present day; and that the following brief review of some of the early +events will afford a fair specimen of the whole. + +In the year 1835, Maria Monk was found alone, and in a wretched and +feeble condition, on the outskirts of New York city, by a humane man, +who got her admitted into the hospital at Bellevue. She then first told +the story in outline, which she afterwards and uniformly repeated in +detail, and which was carefully written down and published in the +following form:--she said she was a fugitive nun from the Hotel Dieu of +Montreal, whence she had effected her escape, in consequence of cruelty +which she had suffered, and crimes which were there committed by the +Romish priests, who had the control of the institution, and to which +they had access, by private as well as public entrances. Having +expressed a willingness to go to that city, make public accusations, +and point out evidences of their truth in the convent itself, she was +taken thither by a resolute man, who afterwards suffered for an act of +great merit; but she was unable to obtain a fair hearing, apparently +through the secret opposition of the priests. She returned to New York, +where her story was thought worthy of publication; and it was proposed +to have it carefully written down from her lips, and published in a +small pamphlet. Everything she communicated was, therefore, accurately +written down, and, when copied out, read to her for correction. But the +amount of important material in her possession, proved to be far +greater than had been supposed, and many pages of notes were +accumulated on numerous topics brought up to her attention in the +course of conversation and inquiry. All those were submitted to persons +fully competent to decide as to the reliability of the evidence, and +the strictest and most conscientious care was taken to ascertain the +truth. + +There were but very few Protestants in the United States acquainted +with the condition or history of convents in different countries, the +characters of those who control and direct them, the motives they have +for keeping them secret, the occupations often pursued within their +walls, in short, the shameful practices and atrocious crimes of which +they have been proved to be the theatres, in modern and ancient times, +by Romish ecclesiastics and even popes themselves. The public were, +therefore, quite unprepared to believe such accusations against men +professing sanctity of life, and a divine commission to the world, +although Miss Harrison and Miss Reed of Boston had published startling +reports respecting the character of the priests and nuns in that +vicinity. + +The following were some of the considerations which were kept in view +by those who proposed the publication of the narrative:-- + +"If the story is false, it must have been forged by the narrator or +some other party. There must have been a motive in either case; and +that may be either to obtain notoriety or money, to injure the +reputation of the priests accused, or ultimately to remove the +unfavorable impressions thrown upon them by their former accusers, by +first making charges of atrocious crimes, and then disproving them. On +the other hand, the story may perhaps be true; and if so, the world +ought to know it. In the meantime, here is an unprotected, and +evidently unfortunate young woman, of an interesting appearance, who +asks to be allowed to make her complaint, voluntarily consenting to +submit to punishment if she does not speak the truth. _She must be +allowed a hearing._" + +It is but justice to say that the investigation was undertaken with +strong suspicions of imposture somewhere, and with a fixed resolution +to expose it if discovered. As the investigation proceeded, opinions at +first fluctuated, sometimes from day to day; but it became evident, ere +long, that if the story had been fabricated, it was not the work of the +narrator, as she had not the capacity to invent one so complex and +consistent with itself and with many historical facts entirely beyond +the limited scope of her knowledge. It was also soon perceived that she +could never have been taught it by others, as no part of it was +systematically arranged in her mind, and she communicated it in the +incidental manner common to uneducated persons, who recount past scenes +in successive conversations. + +As she declared from the first that she had been trained to habits of +deception in the Convent, and accustomed to witness deceit and +criminality, no confidence could be claimed for her mere unsupported +declarations; and therefore a course of thorough cross-questioning was +pursued, every effort being made to lead her to contradict herself, but +without success. She told the same things over and over again in a +natural and consistent manner, when brought back to the same point +after intervals of weeks or months. In several instances it was thought +that contradictions had been traced, but when called on to reconcile +her statements, she cleared up all doubt by easy and satisfactory +explanations. The course pursued by the priests of Canada and their +advocates, was such as greatly to confirm the opinion that she spoke +the truth, and that they were exceedingly afraid of it. The following +were some of the contradictory grounds which they at different times +assumed in their bitter attacks upon her, her friends, and her books: + +That she had never been in the nunnery. + +That she had been expelled from it. + +That she had fabricated everything that she published. + +That several pages from her book, published in the New York "Sun," were +copied verbatim et literatim from a work published in Portugal above a +hundred years before, entitled "The Gates of Hell Opened." + +That there never was a subterranean passage from the seminary to the +nunnery. + +That there was such a passage in that direction, but that it led to the +River St. Lawrence. + +That the drawings and descriptions of the nunnery, and especially of +the veiled department, were wholly unlike the reality, but applied to +the Magdalen Asylum of Montreal. + +That several objects described by her were in the nunnery, but not in +those parts of it where she had placed them. (This was said by a person +who admitted that he had been lost amidst the numerous and extensive +apartments when he made his observations.) + +That the book was fabricated by certain persons in New York who were +named, they being gentlemen of the highest character. + +That the book was her own production, but written under the instigation +of the devil. + +That the author was a layman, and ought to be hung on the first +lamp-post. + +That the nunnery was a sacred place, and ought not to be profaned by +the admission of enemies of the church. + +After a committee had been appointed to examine the nunnery and report, +and their demand for admission had been published a year or more, the +editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, a Montreal newspaper, devoted to the +priests' cause, offered to admit persons informally, and did admit +several Americans, who had been strong partisans against the +"Disclosures." Their letters on the subject, though very indefinite, +contained several important, though undesigned admissions, strongly +corroborating the book. + +One of the most common charges against the book was, that it had been +written merely for the purpose of obtaining money. Of the falseness of +this there is decisive evidence. It was intended to secure to the poor +and persecuted young female, any profits which might arise from the +publication; but most of the labor and time devoted to the work were +gratuitously bestowed. Besides this they devoted much time to efforts +necessary to guard against the numerous and insidious attempts made by +friends of the priests, who by various arts endeavored to produce +dissention and delay, as well as to pervert public opinion. + +The book was published, and had an almost unprecedented sale, +impressing deep convictions, wherever it went, by its simple and +consistent statements. In Canada, especially, it was extensively +received as true; but as the American newspapers were soon enlisted +against it, the country was filled with misrepresentations, which it +was impossible through those channels to follow with refutations. Her +noble sacrifices for the good of others were misunderstood, she +withdrew from her few remaining friends, and at length died in poverty +and prison, a victim of the priests of Rome. Various evidences in favor +of its truth afterwards appeared, with which the public have never been +generally made acquainted. Some of these were afforded during an +interview held in New York, August 17th, 1836, with Messrs. Jones and +Le Clerc, who had came from Montreal with a work in reply to "Awful +Disclosures," which was afterwards published. They had offered to +confront Maria Monk, and prove her an impostor, and make her confess it +in the presence of her friends. She promptly appeared; and the first +exclamation of Mr. Jones proved that she was not the person he had +supposed her to be: _"This is not Fawny Johnson!"_ said he; and he +afterwards said, "There must be two Maria Monks!" Indeed, several +persons were at different times represented to bear that name; and much +confusion was caused in the testimony by that artifice. The interview +continued about two hours, during which the Canadians made a very sorry +figure, entirely failing to gain any advantage, and exposing their own +weakness. At the close, an Episcopal clergyman from Canada, one of the +company, said: "Miss Monk, if I had had any doubts of your truth before +this interview, they would now have been entirely removed." + +The book of Mr. Jones was published, and consisted of affidavits, &c., +obtained in Canada, including those which had previously been +published, and which are contained in the Appendix to this volume. Many +of them were signed by names unknown, or those of low persons of no +credit, or devoted to the service of the priests. Evidence was +afterwards obtained that Mr. Jones was paid by the Canadian +ecclesiastics, of which there had been strong indications. What +rendered his defeat highly important was, that he was the editor of +_L'Ami du Peuple_, the priests' newspaper, in Montreal, and he was "the +author of everything which had been written there against Maria Monk," +and had collected all "the affidavits and testimony." These were his +own declarations. An accurate report of the interview was published, +and had its proper effect, especially his exclamation--"This is not +Fanny Johnson!" + +The exciting controversy has long passed, but the authentic records of +it are imperishable, and will ever be regarded as an instructive study. +The corruptions and crimes of nunneries, and the hypocrisy and +chicanery of those who control them, with the varied and powerful means +at their command, are there displayed to an attentive reader, in colors +as dark and appalling as other features of the popish system are among +us, by the recent exposures of the impudent arrogance of the murderer +Bedini, and the ambitious and miserly spirit of his particular friend, +the Romish Archbishop of New York. + +Among the recent corroborates of the "Awful Disclosures," may be +particularly mentioned the two narratives entitled "Coralla," and +"Confessions of a Sister of Charity," contained in the work issued this +season by the publishers of the present volume, viz.: "_The Escaped +Nun_; or, Disclosures of Convent Life," &c. Of the authenticity of +those two narratives we can give the public the strongest assurance. + +After the city of Rome had been taken by siege by the French army, in +1849, the priests claimed possession of a female orphan-asylum, which +had something of the nature of a nunnery. The republican government had +given liberty to all recluses, and opened all _secret institutions_. +(When will Americans do the same?) + +Subsequently, when the papists attempted to reinstate the old system, +the females remonstrated, barred the doors, and armed themselves with +knives and spits from the kitchen, but the French soldiers succeeded in +reducing them by force. During the contest the cry of the women was, +"We will not be the _wives_ of the priests!" + +In one of the convents in that city, opened by the republicans, were +found evidences of some of the worst crimes mentioned by Maria Monk; +and in another were multitudes of bones, including those of children. + +A strong effort will probably be made again, by the parties exposed by +this book, to avoid the condemnation which it throws upon convents--the +strongholds of superstition, corruption, and _foreign influence_, in +the United States. The Romish publications, although greatly reduced in +number within a few years, will probably pour out much of their +unexhausted virulence, as it is their vocation to misrepresent, deny, +and vilify. They will be ready to pronounce a general anathema on all +who dare to reprint, or even to read or believe, such strong +accusations against the "holy retreats" of those whom they pretend are +"devoted to lives of piety." But we will challenge them to do it again, +by placing some of their iron bishops and even popes in the forefront. + +In the year 1489, in the reign of Henry VII, Pope Innocent VIII +published a bull for the Reformation of Monasteries, entitled, in +Latin, "_De Reformatione Monasceriorum_," in which he says that, +"members of monasteries and other religious places, both Clemian, +Cistercian, and Praemonstratensian, and various other orders in the +Kingdom of England"--"lead a lascivious and truly dissolute life." And +that the papist reader may receive this declaration with due reverence, +we copy the preceding words in Latin, as written by an infallible pope, +the man whose worshippers address him as "Vicegerent of God on earth." +Of course his words must convince them, if ours do not: "Vitam lascivam +ducunt, et nimium dissolutam." "Swine Priory," in 1303, had a Prioress +named Josiana, whose conduct made the name of her house quite +appropriate. In France, in the Council of Troyes, A. D. 999, the +Archbishop said, "In convents of monks, canons, and nuns, we have lay +abbots residing with their wives, sons, daughters, soldiers and dogs;" +and he charges the whole clergy with being in a deprived and sinful +state. But the particulars now before us, of such shameful things in +Germany, Italy, &c., for ages, would fill a larger volume than this. + +Now, let the defenders of nunneries repeat, if they dare, their +hackneyed denunciations of those who deny their sanctity. Here stand +some of their own bishops and popes before us; and the anathemas must +fall first upon mitres and tiaras! Americans will know how much +confidence to place in the pretended purity of institutions, whose +iniquity and shame have been thus proclaimed, age after age, in a far +more extensive manner than by this book. But we can at any time shut +their mouths by the mere mention of "_Den's Theology_," which they must +not provoke us to refer to. + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS. + + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First Schools--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the +Nunneries in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black +Nunnery--The Grey Nunnery--Public Respect for these +Institutions--Instruction Received--The Catechism--The Bible. + +My parents were both from Scotland, but had been resident in Lower +Canada some time before their marriage, which took place in Montreal; +and in that city I spent most of my life. I was born at St. John's, +where they lived for a short time. My father was an officer under the +British Government, and my mother has enjoyed a pension on that account +ever since his death. [Footnote: See the affidavit of William Miller, +in the Appendix.] + +According to my earliest recollections, he was attentive to his family; +and a particular passage from the Bible, which often occurred to my +mind in after life, I may very probably have been taught by him, as +after his death I do not recollect to have received any religious +instruction at home; and was not even brought up to read the +scriptures: my mother, although nominally a Protestant, not being +accustomed to pay attention to her children in this respect. She was +rather inclined to think well of the Catholics, and often attended +their churches. To my want of religious instruction at home, and the +ignorance of my Creator, and my duty, which was its natural effect. I +think I can trace my introduction to Convents, and the scenes which I +am to describe in this narrative. + +When about six or seven years of age, I went to school to a Mr. +Workman, a Protestant, who taught in Sacrament street, and remained +several months. There I learned to read and write, and arithmetic as +far as division. All the progress I ever made in those branches was +gained in that school, as I have never improved in any of them since. + +A number of girls of my acquaintance went to school to the nuns of the +Congregational Nunnery, or Sisters of Charity, as they are sometimes +called. The schools taught by them are perhaps more numerous than some +of my readers may imagine. Nuns are sent out from that Convent to many +of the towns and villages of Canada to teach small schools; and some of +them are established as instructresses in different parts of the United +States. When I was about ten years old, my mother asked me one day if I +should not like to learn to read and write French; and I then began to +think seriously of attending the school in the Congregational Nunnery. +I had already some acquaintance with that language, sufficient to speak +it a little, as I heard it every day, and my mother knew something of +it. + +I have a distinct recollection of my first entrance into the Nunnery; +and the day was an important one in my life, as on it commenced my +acquaintance with a Convent. I was conducted by some of my young +friends along Notre Dame street till we reached the gate. Entering +that, we walked some distance along the side of a building towards the +chapel, until we reached a door, stopped, and rung a bell. This was +soon opened, and entering, we proceeded through a long covered passage +till we took a short turn to the left, soon after which we reached the +door of the school-room. On my entrance, the Superior met me, and told +me first of all that I must always dip my fingers into the holy water +at her door, cross myself, and say a short prayer; and this she told me +was always required of Protestant as well as Catholic children. + +There were about fifty girls in the school, and the nuns professed to +teach something of reading, writing, arithmetic, and geography. The +methods, however, were very imperfect, and little attention was devoted +to them, the time being in a great degree engrossed with lessons in +needle-work, which was performed with much skill. The nuns had no very +regular parts assigned them in the management of the schools. They were +rather rough and unpolished in their manners, often exclaiming, "c'est +un menti" (that's a lie), and "mon Dieu" (my God), on the most trivial +occasions. Their writing was quite poor, and it was not uncommon for +them to put a capital letter in the middle of a word. The only book on +geography which we studied, was a catechism of geography, from which we +learnt by heart a few questions and answers. We were sometimes referred +to a map, but it was only to point out Montreal or Quebec, or some +other prominent name, while we had no instruction beyond. + +It may be necessary for the information of some of my readers, to +mention that there are three distinct Convents in Montreal, all of +different kinds; that is, founded on different plans, and governed by +different rules. Their names are as follows:-- + +1st. The Congregational Nunnery. + +2d. The Black Nunnery, or Convent of Sister Bourgeoise. + +3d The Grey Nunnery. + +The first of these professes to be devoted entirely to the education of +girls. It would require however only a proper examination to prove +that, with the exception of needle-work, hardly anything is taught +excepting prayers and the catechism; the instruction in reading, +writing, &c., in fact, amounting to very little, and often to nothing. +This Convent is adjacent to that next to be spoken of, being separated +from it only by a wall. The second professes to be a charitable +institution for the care of the sick, and the supply of bread and +medicines for the poor; and something is done in these departments of +charity, although but an insignificant amount, compared with the size +of the buildings, and the number of the inmates. + +The Grey Nunnery, which is situated in a distant part of the city, is +also a large edifice, containing departments for the care of insane +persons and foundlings. With this, however, I have less personal +acquaintance than with either of the others. I have often seen two of +the Grey nuns, and know that their rules, as well as those of the +Congregational Nunnery, do not confine them always within their walls, +like those of the Black Nunnery. These two Convents have their common +names (Black and Grey) from the colours of the dresses worn by their +inmates. + +In all these three Convents, there are certain apartments into which +strangers can gain admittance, but others from which they are always +excluded. In all, large quantities of various ornaments are made by the +nuns, which are exposed for sale in the _Ornament_ Rooms, and afford +large pecuniary receipts every year, which contribute much to their +incomes. In these rooms visitors often purchase such things as please +them from some of the old [Footnote: The term "old nun," does not +always indicate superior age.] and confidential nuns who have the +charge of them. + +From all that appears to the public eye, the nuns of these Convents are +devoted to the charitable objects appropriate to each, the labour of +making different articles, known to be manufactured by them, and the +religious observances, which occupy a large portion of their time. They +are regarded with much respect by the people at large; and now and then +when a novice takes the veil, she is supposed to retire from the +temptations and troubles of this world into a state of holy seclusion, +where, by prayer, self-mortification, and good deeds, she prepares +herself for heaven. Sometimes the Superior of a Convent obtains the +character of working miracles; and when such a one dies, it is +published through the country, and crowds throng the Convent, who think +indulgences are to be derived from bits of her clothes or other things +she has possessed; and many have sent articles to be touched to her bed +or chair, in which a degree of virtue is thought to remain. I used to +participate in such ideas and feelings, and began by degrees to look +upon a nun as the happiest of women, and a Convent as the most +peaceful, holy, and delightful place of abode. It is true, some pains +were taken to impress such views upon me. Some of the priests of the +Seminary often visited the Congregation Nunnery, and both catechised +and talked with us on religion. The Superior of the Black Nunnery +adjoining, also, occasionally came into the School, enlarged on the +advantages we enjoyed in having such teachers, and dropped something +now and then relating to her own Convent, calculated to make us +entertain the highest ideas of it, and to make us sometimes think of +the possibility of getting into it. + +Among the instructions given us by the priests, some of the most +pointed were those directed against the Protestant Bible. They often +enlarged upon the evil tendency of that book, and told us that but for +it many a soul now condemned to hell, and suffering eternal punishment, +might have been in happiness. They could not say any thing in its +favour: for that would be speaking against religion and against God. +They warned us against it, and represented it as a thing very dangerous +to our souls. In confirmation of this, they would repeat some of the +answers taught us at catechism, a few of which I will here give. We had +little catechisms ("Le Petit Catechism") put into our hands to study; +but the priests soon began to teach us a new set of answers, which were +not to be found in our books, and from some of which I received new +ideas, and got, as I thought, important light on religious subjects, +which confirmed me more and more in my belief in the Roman Catholic +doctrines. These questions and answers I can still recall with +tolerable accuracy, and some of them I will add here. I never have read +them, as we were taught them only by word of mouth. + +_Question_. "Pourquoi le bon Dieu n'a pas fait tous les commandemens?" + +_Reponse_. "Parce que l'homme n'est pas si fort qu'il peut garder tous +ses commandemens." + +_Q_. "Why did not God make all the commandments?" + +_A_. "Because man is not strong enough to keep them." + +And another. _Q_. "Pourquoi l'homme ne lit pas l'Evangile?" + +_R_. "Parce que l'esprit de l'homme est trop borne et trop faible pour +comprendre qu'est ce que Dieu a ecrit." + +_Q_. "Why are men not to read the New Testament?" + +_A_. "Because the mind of man is too limited and weak to understand +what God has written." + +These questions and answers are not to be found in the common +catechisms in use in Montreal and other places where I have been, but +all the children in the Congregational Nunnery were taught them, and +many more not found in these books. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CONGREGATIONAL NUNNERY. + + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery. + +There was a girl thirteen years old whom I knew in the School, who +resided in the neighborhood of my mother, and with whom I had been +familiar. She told me one day at school of the conduct of a priest with +her at confession, at which I was astonished. It was of so criminal and +shameful a nature, I could hardly believe it, and yet I had so much +confidence that she spoke the truth, that I could not discredit it. + +She was partly persuaded by the priest to believe that he could not +sin, because he was a priest, and that anything he did to her would +sanctify her; and yet she seemed doubtful how she should act. A priest, +she had been told by him, is a holy man, and appointed to a holy +office, and therefore what would be wicked in other men, could not be +so in him. She told me that she had informed her mother of it, who +expressed no anger nor disapprobation, but only enjoined it upon her +not to speak of it; and remarked to her, that as priests were not like +other men, but holy, and sent to instruct and save us, whatever they +did was right. + +I afterward confessed to the priest that I had heard the story, and had +a penance to perform for indulging a sinful curiosity in making +inquiries; and the girl had another for communicating it. I afterward +learned that other children had been treated in the same manner, and +also of similar proceedings in other places. + +Indeed, it was not long before such language was used to me, and I well +remember how my views of right and wrong were shaken by it. Another +girl at the School, from a place above Montreal, called the Lac, told +me the following story of what had occurred recently in that vicinity. +A young squaw, called la Belle Marie,(pretty Mary,) had been seen going +to confession at the house of the priest, who lived a little out of the +village. La Belle Marie was afterwards missed, and her murdered body +was found in the river. A knife was also found covered with blood, +bearing the priest's name. Great indignation was excited among the +Indians, and the priest immediately absconded, and was never heard from +again. A note was found on his table addressed to him, telling him to +fly if he was guilty. + +It was supposed that the priest was fearful that his conduct might be +betrayed by this young female; and he undertook to clear himself by +killing her. + +These stories struck me with surprise at first, but I gradually began +to feel differently, even supposing them true, and to look upon the +priests as men incapable of sin; besides, when I first went to +confession, which I did to Father Richards, in the old French church +(since taken down), I heard nothing improper; and it was not until I +had been several times, that the priests became more and more bold, and +were at length indecent in their questions and even in their conduct +when I confessed to them in the Sacristie. This subject I believe is +not understood nor suspected among Protestants; and it is not my +intention to speak of it very particularly, because it is impossible to +do so without saying things both shameful and demoralizing. + +I will only say here, that when quite a child, I had from the mouths of +the priests at confession what I cannot repeat, with treatment +corresponding; and several females in Canada have recently assured me, +that they have repeatedly, and indeed regularly, been required to +answer the same and other like questions, many of which present to the +mind deeds which the most iniquitous and corrupt heart could hardly +invent. + +There was a frequent change of teachers in the School of the Nunnery; +and no regular system was pursued in our instruction. There were many +nuns who came and went while I was there, being frequently called in +and out without any perceptible reason. They supply school teachers to +many of the country towns, usually two for each of the towns with which +I was acquainted, besides sending Sisters of Charity to different parts +of the United States. Among those whom I saw most, was Saint Patrick, +an old woman for a nun (that is, about forty), very ignorant, and gross +in her manners, with quite a beard on her face, and very cross and +disagreeable. She was sometimes our teacher in sewing, and was +appointed to keep order among us. We were allowed to enter only a few +of the rooms in the Congregational Nunnery, although it was not +considered one of the secluded Convents. + +In the Black Nunnery, which is very near the Congregational, is an +hospital for sick people from the city; and sometimes some of our +boarders, such as are indisposed, were sent there to be cured. I was +once taken ill myself and sent there, where I remained a few days. + +There were beds enough for a considerable number more. A physician +attended it daily; and there are a number of the veiled nuns of that +Convent who spend most of their time there. + +These would also sometimes read lectures and repeat prayers to us. + +After I had been in the Congregational Nunnery about two years, I left +it,[Footnote: See the 2d affidavit.] and attended several different +schools for a short time; but I soon became dissatisfied, having many +and severe trials to endure at home, which my feelings will not allow +me to describe; and as my Catholic acquaintances had often spoken to me +in favour of their faith, I was inclined to believe it true, although, +as I before said, I knew little of any religion. While out of the +nunnery, I saw nothing of religion. If I had, I believe I should never +have thought of becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +BLACK NUNNERY. + + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black +Nunnery--Entrance--Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which +they had Access--First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the +Superior--Her Reliques--The Holy Good Shepherd or nameless +Nun--Confession of Novices. + +At length I determined to become a Black nun, and called upon one of +the oldest priests in the Seminary, to whom I made known my intention. + +The old priest to whom I applied was Father Rocque. He is still alive. +He was at that time the oldest priest in the Seminary, and carried the +Bon Dieu, (Good God,) as the sacramental wafer is called. When going to +administer it in any country place, he used to ride with a man before +him, who rang a bell as a signal. When the Canadians heard it, whose +habitations he passed, they would come and prostrate themselves to the +earth, worshipping it as God. He was a man of great age, and wore large +curls, so that he somewhat resembled his predecessor, Father Roue. He +was at that time at the head of the Seminary. This institution is a +large edifice, situated near the Congregational and Black Nunneries, +being on the east side of Notre Dame street. It is the general +rendezvous and centre of all the priests in the District of Montreal, +and, I have been told, supplies all the country with priests as far +down as Three Rivers, which place, I believe, is under the charge of +the Seminary of Quebec. About one hundred and fifty priests are +connected with that of Montreal, as every small place has one priest, +and a number of larger ones have two. + +Father Rocque promised to converse with the Superior of the Convent, +and proposed my calling again, at the end of two weeks, at which time I +visited the Seminary again, and was introduced by him to the Superior +of the Black Nunnery. She told me she must make some inquiries, before +she could give me a decided answer; and proposed to me to take up my +abode a few days at the house of a French family in St. Lawrence +suburbs, a distant part of the city. Here I remained about a fortnight; +during which time I formed some acquaintance with the family, +particularly with the mistress of the house, who was a devoted Papist, +and had a high respect for the Superior, with whom she stood on good +terms. + +At length, on Saturday morning about ten o'clock, I called and was +admitted into the Black Nunnery, as a novice, much to my satisfaction, +for I had a high idea of a life in a Convent, secluded, as I supposed +the inmates to be, from the world and all its evil influences, and +assured of everlasting happiness in heaven. The Superior received me, +and conducted me into a large room, where the novices, (who are called +in French Postulantes,) were assembled, and engaged in their customary +occupation of sewing. + +Here were about forty of them, and they were collected in groups in +different parts of the room, chiefly near the windows; but in each +group was found one of the veiled nuns of the Convent, whose abode was +in the interior apartments, to which no novice was to be admitted. As +we entered, the Superior informed the assembly that a new novice had +come, and she desired any present who might have known me in the world +to signify it. + +Two Miss Fougnees, and a Miss Howard, from Vermont, who had been my +fellow-pupils in the Congregational Nunnery, immediately recognised me. +I was then placed in one of the groups, at a distance from them, and +furnished by a nun called Sainte Clotilde, with materials to make a +kind of purse, such as the priests use to carry the consecrated wafer +in, when they go to administer the sacrament to the sick. I well +remember my feelings at that time, sitting among a number of strangers, +and expecting with painful anxiety the arrival of the dinner hour. +Then, as I knew, ceremonies were to be performed, for which I was but +ill prepared, as I had not yet heard the rules by which I was to be +governed, and knew nothing of the forms to be repeated in the daily +exercises, except the creed in Latin, and that imperfectly. This was +during the time of recreation, as it is called. The only recreation +there allowed, however, is that of the mind, and of this there is but +little. We were kept at work, and permitted to speak with each other +only on such subjects as related to the Convent, and all in the hearing +of the old nuns who sat by us. We proceeded to dinner in couples, and +ate in silence while a lecture was read. + +The novices had access to only eight of the apartments of the Convent; +and whatever else we wished to know, we could only conjecture. The +sleeping room was in the second story, at the end of the western wing. +The beds were placed in rows, without curtains or anything else to +obstruct the view; and in one corner was a small room partitioned off, +in which was the bed of the night-watch, that is, the old nun that was +appointed to oversee us for the night. In each side of the partition +were two holes, through which she could look out upon us whenever she +pleased. Her bed was a little raised above the level of the others. +There was a lamp hung in the middle of our chamber which showed every +thing to her distinctly; and as she had no light in her little room, we +never could perceive whether she was awake or asleep. As we knew that +the slightest deviation from the rules would expose us to her +observation, as well as to that of our companions, in whom it was a +virtue to betray one another's faults, as well as to confess our own, I +felt myself under a continual exposure to suffer what I disliked, and +had my mind occupied in thinking of what I was to do next, and what I +must avoid. + +I soon learned the rules and ceremonies we had to regard, which were +many; and we had to be very particular in their observance. We were +employed in different kinds of work while I was a novice. The most +beautiful specimen of the nuns' manufacture which I saw was a rich +carpet made of fine worsted, which had been begun before my +acquaintance with the Convent, and was finished while I was there. This +was sent as a present to the King of England, as an expression of +gratitude for the money annually received from the government. It was +about forty yards in length, and very handsome. We were ignorant of the +amount of money thus received. The Convent of Grey Nuns has also +received funds from the government, though on some account or other, +had not for several years. + +I was sitting by a window at one time, with a girl named Jane M'Coy, +when one of the old nuns cams up and spoke to us in a tone of +liveliness and kindness which seemed strange, in a place where +everything seemed so cold and reserved. Some remark which she made was +evidently intended to cheer and encourage me, and made me think that +she felt some interest in me. I do not recollect what she said, but I +remember it gave me pleasure. I also remember that her manner struck me +singularly. She was rather old for a nun, that is, probably thirty; her +figure large, her face wrinkled, and her dress careless. She seemed +also to be under less restraint than the others, and this, I afterward +found, was the case. She sometimes even set the rules at defiance. She +would speak aloud when silence was required, and sometimes walk about +when she ought to have kept her place: she would even say and do things +on purpose to make us laugh; and although often blamed for her conduct, +had her offences frequently passed over, when others would have been +punished with penances. + +I learnt that this woman had always been singular. She never would +consent to take a saint's name on receiving the veil, and had always +been known by her own, which was Jane Ray. Her irregularities were +found to be numerous, and penances were of so little use in governing +her, that she was pitied by some, who thought her partially insane. She +was, therefore, commonly spoken of as mad Jane Ray; and when she +committed a fault, it was often apologized for by the Superior or other +nuns, on the ground that she did not know what she did. + +The occupations of a novice in the Black Nunnery are not such as some +of my readers may suppose. They are not employed in studying the higher +branches of education; they are not offered any advantages for storing +their mind, or polishing their manners; they are not taught even +reading, writing, or arithmetic; much less any of the more advanced +branches of knowledge. My time was chiefly employed, at first, in work +and prayers. It is true, during the last year I studied a great deal, +and was required to work but very little; but it was the study of +prayers in French and Latin, which I had merely to commit to memory, to +prepare for the easy repetition of them on my reception, and after I +should be admitted as a nun. + +Among the wonderful events which had happened in the Convent, that of +the sudden conversion of a gay young lady of the city into a nun, +appeared to me one of the most remarkable. The story which I first +heard, while a novice, made a deep impression upon my mind. It was +nearly as follows: + +The daughter of a wealthy citizen of Montreal was passing the church of +Bon Secours, one evening, on her way to a ball, when she was suddenly +thrown down upon the steps or near the door, and received a severe +shock. She was taken up, and removed first, I think, into the church, +but soon into the Black Nunnery, which she soon determined to join as a +nun; instead, however, of being required to pass through a long +novitiate (which usually occupies about two years and a-half, and is +abridged only where the character is peculiarly exemplary and devout), +she was permitted to take the veil without delay; being declared by God +to a priest to be in a state of sanctity. The meaning of this +expression is, that she was a real saint, and already in a great +measure raised above the world and its influences, and incapable of +sinning, possessing the power of intercession, and being a proper +object to be addressed in prayer. This remarkable individual, I was +further informed, was still in the Convent, though I never was allowed +to see her; she did not mingle with the other nuns, either at work, +worship, or meals; for she had no need of food, and not only her soul, +but her body, was in heaven a great part of her time. What added, if +possible, to the reverence and mysterious awe with which I thought of +her, was the fact I learned, that she had no name. The titles used in +speaking of her were, the holy saint, reverend mother, or saint bon +pasteur (the holy good shepherd). + +It is wonderful that we could have carried our reverence for the +Superior as far as we did, although it was the direct tendency of many +instructions and regulations, indeed of the whole system, to permit, +even to foster a superstitious regard for her. + +One of us was occasionally called into her room, to cut her nails or +dress her hair; and we would often collect the clippings, and +distribute them to each other, or preserve them with the utmost care. I +once picked up all the stray hairs I could find, after combing her +head, bound them together, and kept them for some time, until she told +me I was not worthy to possess things so sacred. Jane McCoy and I were +once sent to alter a dress for the Superior. I gathered up all the bits +of thread, made a little bag, and put them into it for safe +preservation. This I wore a long time around my neck, so long, indeed, +that I wore out a number of strings, which, I remember, I replace with +new ones. I believed it to possess the power of removing pain, and +often prayed to it to cure the tooth-ache, &c. Jane Ray sometimes +professed to outgo us all in devotion to the Superior, and would pick +up the feathers after making her bed. These she would distributed among +us, saying, "When the Superior dies, reliques will begin to grow +scarce, and you had better supply yourselves in season." Then she would +treat the whole matter in some way to turn it into ridicule. Equally +contradictory would she appear, when occasionally she would obtain +leave from the Superior to tell her dreams. With a serious face, which +sometimes imposed upon all of us, and made us half believe she was in a +perfect state of sanctity, she would narrate in French some +unaccountable vision which she said she had enjoyed. Then turning +round, would say, "There are some who do not understand me; you all +ought to be informed." And then she would say something totally +different in English, which put us to the greatest agony for fear of +laughing. Sometimes she would say that she expected to be Superior +herself, one of these days, and other things which I have not room to +repeat. + +While I was in the Congregational Nunnery, I had gone to the parish +church whenever I was to confess; for although the nuns had a private +confession-room in the building, the boarders were taken in parties +through the streets on different days by some of the nuns, to confess +in the church; but in the Black Nunnery, as we had a chapel and priests +attending in the confessionals, we never left the building. + +Our confessions there as novices, were always performed in one way, so +that it may be sufficient to describe a single case. Those of us who +were to confess at a particular time, took our places on our knees near +the confessional-box, and after having repeated a number of prayers, +&c., prescribed in our books, came up one at a time and kneeled beside +a fine wooden lattice-work, which entirely separated the confessor from +us, yet permitted us to place our faces almost to his ear, and nearly +concealed his countenance from view, even when so near. I recollect how +the priests used to recline their heads on one side, and often covered +their faces with their handkerchiefs, while they heard me confess my +sins, and put questions to me, which were often of the most improper +and even revolting nature, naming crimes both unthought of and inhuman. +Still, strange as it may seem, I was persuaded to believe that all this +was their duty, or at least that it was done without sin. + +Veiled nuns would often appear in the chapel at confession; though, as +I understood, they generally confessed in private. Of the plan of their +confession-rooms I had no information; but I supposed the ceremony to +be conducted much on the same plan as in the chapel and in the church, +viz. with a lattice interposed between the confessor and the confessing. + +Punishments were sometimes resorted to, while I was a novice, though +but seldom. The first time I ever saw a gag, was one day when a young +novice had done something to offend the Superior. This girl I always +had compassion for; because she was very young, and an orphan. The +Superior sent for a gag, and expressed her regret at being compelled, +by the bad conduct of the child, to proceed to such a punishment; after +which she put it into her mouth, so far as to keep it open, and then +let it remain some time before she took it out. There was a leathern +strap fastened to each end, and buckled to the back part of the head. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. +Denis--Reliques--Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made +by some Novices--Ideas of the Bible. + + +After I had been in the nunneries four or five years, from the time I +commenced school at the Congregational Convent, one day I was treated +by one of the nuns in a manner which displeased me, and because I +expressed some resentment, was required to beg her pardon. Not being +satisfied with this, although I complied with the command, nor with the +coolness with which the Superior treated me, I determined to quit the +Convent at once, which I did without asking leave. There would have +been no obstacle to my departure, I presume, novice as I then was, if I +had asked permission; but I was too much displeased to wait for that, +and went home without speaking to any one on the subject. + +I soon after visited the town of St. Denis, where I saw two young +ladies with whom I had formerly been acquainted in Montreal, and one of +them a former schoolmate at Mr. Workman's school. After some +conversation with me, and learning that I had known a lady who kept +school in the place, they advised me to apply to her to be employed as +her assistant teacher; for she was then instructing the government +school in that place. I visited her, and found her willing, and I +engaged at once as her assistant. + +The government society paid her 20_l_: a-year: she was obliged to teach +ten children gratuitously; might receive fifteen pence a month (about a +quarter of a dollar), for each of ten scholars more; and then she was +at liberty, according to the regulations, to demand as much as she +pleased for the other pupils. The course of instruction, as required by +the society, embraced only reading, writing, and what was called +ciphering, though I think improperly. The only books used were a +spelling-book, l'Instruction de la Jeunesse, the Catholic New +Testament, and l'Histoire de Canada. When these had been read through, +in regular succession, the children were dismissed as having completed +their education. No difficulty is found in making the common French +Canadians content with such an amount of instruction as this; on the +contrary, it is often very hard indeed to prevail upon them to send +their children at all, for they say it takes too much of the love of +God from them to sent them to school. The teacher strictly complied +with the requisitions of the society in whose employment she was, and +the Roman Catholic catechism was regularly taught in the school, as +much from choice as from submission to authority, as she was a strict +Catholic. I had brought with me the little bag I have before mentioned, +in which I had so long kept the clippings of the thread left after +making a dress for the Superior. Such was my regard for it, that I +continued to wear it constantly round my neck, and to feel the same +reverence for its supposed virtues as before. I occasionally had the +toothache during my stay at St. Denis, and then always relied on the +influence of my little bag. On such occasions I would say-- + +"By the virtue of this bag, may I be delivered from the toothache;" and +I supposed that when it ceased, it was owing to that cause. + +While engaged in this manner, I became acquainted with a man who soon +proposed marriage; and young and ignorant of the world as I was, I +heard his offers with favour. On consulting with my friend, she +expressed an interest for me, advised me against taking such a step, +and especially as I knew little about the man, except that a report was +circulated unfavorable to his character. Unfortunately, I was not wise +enough to listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I +had occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the report proved +true--a report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our +separation. After I had been in St. Denis about three months, finding +myself thus situated, and not knowing what else to do, I determined to +return to the Convent, and pursue my former intention of becoming a +Black nun, could I gain admittance. Knowing the many inquiries that the +Superior would make relative to me, during my absence before leaving +St. Denis, I agreed with the lady with whom I had been associated as a +teacher (when she went to Montreal, which she did very frequently), to +say to the Lady Superior that I had been under her protection during my +absence, which would satisfy her, and stop further inquiry; as I was +sensible, that, should they know I had been married, I should not gain +admittance. + +I soon returned to Montreal, and on reaching the city, I visited the +Seminary, and in another interview with the Superior of it, +communicated my wish, and desired him to procure my re-admission as a +novice. Little delay occurred. + +After leaving me for a short time, he returned, and told me that the +Superior of the Convent had consented, and I was soon introduced into +her presence. She blamed me for my conduct in leaving the nunnery, but +told me that I ought to be ever grateful to my guardian angel for +taking care of me, and bringing me in safety back to that retreat. I +requested that I might be secured against the reproaches and ridicule +of all the novices and nuns, which I thought some might be disposed to +cast upon me unless prohibited by the Superior; and this she promised +me. The money usually required for the admission of novices had not +been expected from me. I had been admitted the first time without any +such requisition; but now I chose to pay it for my re-admission. I knew +that she was able to dispense with such a demand as well in this as the +former case, and she knew that I was not in possession of any thing +like the sum required. + +But I was bent on paying to the Nunnery, and accustomed to receive the +doctrine often repeated to me before that time, that when the advantage +of the church was consulted, the steps taken were justifiable, let them +be what they would, I therefore resolved to obtain money on false +pretences, confident that if all were known, I should be far from +displeasing the Superior. I went to the brigade major, and asked him to +give me the money payable to my mother from her pension, which amounted +to about thirty dollars, and without questioning my authority to +receive it in her name, he gave it me. + +From several of her friends I obtained small sums under the name of +loans, so that altogether I had soon raised a number of pounds, with +which I hastened to the nunnery, and deposited a part in the hands of +the Superior. She received the money with evident satisfaction, though +she must have known that I could not have obtained it honestly; and I +was at once re-admitted as a novice. + +Much to my gratification, not a word fell from the lips of any of my +old associates in relation to my unceremonious departure, nor my +voluntary return. The Superior's orders, I had not a doubt, had been +explicitly laid down, and they certainly were carefully obeyed, for I +never heard an allusion made to that subject during my subsequent stay +in the Convent, except that, when alone, the Superior would herself +sometimes say a little about it. + +There were numbers of young ladies who entered awhile as novices, and +became weary or disgusted with some things they observed, and remained +but a short time. One of my cousins, who lived at Lachine, named Reed, +spent about a fortnight in the Convent with me. She, however, conceived +such an antipathy against the priests, that she used expressions which +offended the Superior. + +The first day she attended mass, while at dinner with us in full +community, she said before us all: "What a rascal that priest was, to +preach against his best friend!" + +All stared at such an unusual exclamation, and some one inquired what +she meant. + +"I say," she continued, "he has been preaching against him who gives +him his bread. Do you suppose that if there were no devil, there would +be any priests?" + +This bold young novice was immediately dismissed: and in the afternoon +we had a long sermon from the Superior on the subject. + +It happened that I one day got a leaf of an English Bible, which had +been brought into the Convent, wrapped round some sewing silk, +purchased at a store in the city. For some reason or other, I +determined to commit to memory a chapter it contained, which I soon +did. It is the only chapter I ever learnt in the Bible, and I can now +repeat it. It is the second of St. Matthew's gospel, "Now when Jesus +was born in Bethlehem of Judea," &c. + +It happened that I was observed reading the paper, and when the nature +of it was discovered, I was condemned to do penance for my offence. + +Great dislike to the Bible was shown by those who conversed with me +about it, and several have remarked to me, at different times, that if +it were not for that book, Catholics would never be led to renounce +their own faith. + +I heard passages read from the Evangile, relating to the death of +Christ; the conversion of Paul; a few chapters from St. Matthew, and +perhaps a few others. The priest would also sometimes take a verse or +two, and preach from it. I read St. Peter's Life, but only in the book +called the "Lives of the Saints." He, I understand, has the keys of +heaven and hell, and has founded our church. As for St. Paul, I +remember, as I was taught to understand it, that he was once a great +persecutor of the Roman _Catholics_, until he became convicted, and +confessed to one of the _father confessors_, I don't know which. For +who can expect to be forgiven who does not become a Catholic, and +confess? + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject. + + +The day on which I received confirmation was a distressing one to me. I +believed the doctrine of the Roman Catholics, and according to them I +was guilty of three mortal sins; concealing something at confession, +sacrilege, in putting the body of Christ in the sacrament under my +feet, and receiving it while not in a state of grace; and now, I had +been led into all those sins in consequence of my marriage, which I +never had acknowledged, as it would cut me off from being admitted as a +nun. + +On the day, therefore, when I went to the church to be confirmed, with +a number of others, I suffered extremely from the reproaches of my +conscience. I knew, at least I believed, as I had been told, that a +person who had been anointed with the holy oil of confirmation on the +forehead, and dying in the state in which I was, would go down to hell, +and in the place where the oil had been rubbed, the names of my sins +would blaze out on my forehead; these would be a sign by which the +devils would know me; and they would torment me the worse for them. I +was thinking of all this, while I sat in the pew, waiting to receive +the oil. I felt, however, some consolation, as I often did afterward +when my sins came to mind; and this consolation I derived from another +doctrine of the same church: viz. that a bishop could absolve me from +all these sins any minute before my death; and I intended to confess +them all to a bishop before leaving the world. At length, the moment +for administering the "sacrament" arrived, and a bell was rung. Those +who had come to be confirmed had brought tickets from their confessors, +and these were thrown into a hat, carried around by a priest who in +turn handed each to the bishop, by which he learnt the name of each of +us, and applied a little of the oil to our foreheads. This was +immediately rubbed off by a priest with a bit of cloth, quite roughly. + +I went home with some qualms of conscience, and often thought with +dread of the following tale, which I have heard told to illustrate the +sinfulness of conduct like mine. + +A priest was once travelling, when, just as he was passing by a house, +his horse fell on his knees, and would not rise. His rider dismounted, +and went in to learn the cause of so extraordinary an occurrence. He +found there a woman near death, to whom a priest was trying to +administer the sacrament, but without success; for every time she +attempted to swallow it, it was thrown back out of her mouth into the +chalice. He perceived it was owing to unconfessed sin, and took away +the holy wafer from her: on which his horse rose from his knees, and he +pursued his journey. + +I often remembered also that I had been told, that we shall have as +many devils biting us, if we go to hell, as we have unconfessed sins on +our consciences. + +I was required to devote myself for about a year, to the study of the +prayers and the practice of the ceremonies necessary on the reception +of a nun. This I found a very tedious duty; but as I was released in a +great degree from the daily labors usually demanded of novices, I felt +little disposition to complain. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosure--Resolution to Submit. + + +I was introduced into the Superior's room on the evening preceding the +day on which I was to take the veil, to have an interview with the +Bishop. The Superior was present, and the interview lasted about half +an hour. The Bishop on this as on other occasions appeared to me +habitually rough in his manners. His address was by no means +prepossessing. + +Before I took the veil, I was ornamented for the ceremony, and was +clothed in a rich dress belonging to the Convent, which was used on +such occasions; and placed not far from the altar in the chapel, in the +view of a number of spectators who had assembled, perhaps about forty. +Taking the veil is an affair which occurs so frequently in Montreal, +that it has long ceased to be regarded as a novelty; and, although +notice had been given in the French parish church as usual, only a +small audience had assembled, as I have mentioned. + +Being well prepared with a long training, and frequent rehearsals, for +what I was to perform, I stood waiting in my large flowing dress for +the appearance of the Bishop. He soon presented himself, entering by +the door behind the altar; I then threw myself at his feet, and asked +him to confer upon me the veil. He expressed his consent, and threw it +over my head, saying, "Receive the veil, O thou spouse of Jesus +Christ;" and then turning to the Superior, I threw myself prostrate at +her feet, according to my instructions, repeating what I had before +done at rehearsals, and made a movement as if to kiss her feet. This +she prevented, or appeared to prevent, catching me by a sudden motion +of her hand, and granted my request. I then kneeled before the Holy +Sacrament, that is, a very large round wafer held by the Bishop between +his fore-finger and thumb, and made my vows. + +This wafer I had been taught to regard with the utmost veneration, as +the real body of Jesus Christ, the presence of which made the vows +uttered before it binding in the most solemn manner. + +After taking the vows, I proceeded to a small apartment behind the +altar, accompanied by four nuns, where was a coffin prepared with my +nun name engraven upon it: + +"SAINT EUSTACE." + +My companions lifted it by four handles attached to it, while I threw +off my dress, and put on that of a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise; and then we +all returned to the chapel. I proceeded first, and was followed by the +four nuns; the Bishop naming a number of worldly pleasures in rapid +succession, in reply to which I as rapidly repeated--"Je renonce, je +renonce, je renonce"--[I renounce, I renounce, I renounce.] + +The coffin was then placed in front of the altar, and I advanced to lay +myself in it. This coffin was to be deposited, after the ceremony, in +an outhouse, to be preserved until my death, when it was to receive my +corpse. There were reflections which I naturally made at the time, but +I stepped in, extended myself, and lay still. A pillow had been placed +at the head of the coffin, to support my head in a comfortable +position. A large, thick black cloth was then spread over me, and the +chanting of Latin hymns immediately commenced. My thoughts were not the +most pleasing during the time I lay in that situation. The pall, or +Drap Mortel, as the cloth is called, had a strong smell of incense, +which was always disagreeable to me, and then proved almost +suffocating. I recollected also a story I had heard of a novice, who, +in taking the veil, lay down in her coffin like me, and was covered in +the same manner, but on the removal of the covering was found dead. + +When I was uncovered, I rose, stepped out of my coffin, and kneeled. +The Bishop then addressed these words to the Superior, "Take care and +keep pure and spotless this young virgin, whom Christ has consecrated +to himself this day." After which the music commenced, and here the +whole was finished. I then proceeded from the chapel, and returned to +the Superior's room, followed by the other nuns, who walked two by two, +in their customary manner, with their hands folded on their breasts, +and their eyes cast down upon the floor. The nun who was to be my +companion in future, then walked at the end of the procession. On +reaching the Superior's door, they all left me, and I entered alone, +and found her with the Bishop and two priests. + +The Superior now informed me, that having taken the black veil, it only +remained that I should swear the three oaths customary on becoming a +nun; and that some explanations would be necessary from her. I was now, +she told me, to have access to every part of the edifice, even to the +cellar, where two of the sisters were imprisoned for causes which she +did not mention. I must be informed, that one of my great duties was, +to obey the priests in all things; and this I soon learnt, to my utter +astonishment and horror, was to live in the practice of criminal +intercourse with them. I expressed some of the feelings which this +announcement excited in me, which came upon me like a flash of +lightning, but the only effect was to set her arguing with me, in favor +of the crime, representing it as a virtue acceptable to God, and +honorable to me. The priests, she said, were not situated like other +men, being forbidden to marry; while they lived secluded, laborious, +and self-denying lives for our salvation. They might, indeed, be +considered our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain +the pardon of sin, and must go to hell. Now, it was our solemn duty, on +withdrawing from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to +practice every species of self-denial. We could not become too humble, +nor mortify our feelings too far; this was to be done by opposing them, +and acting contrary to them; and what she proposed was, therefore, +pleasing in the sight of God. I now felt how foolish I had been to +place myself in the power of such persons as were around me. + +From what she said I could draw no other conclusion, but that I was +required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my +future associates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and +detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and +horror, she told me that such feelings were very common at first, and +that many other nuns had expressed themselves as I did, who had long +since changed their minds. She even said, that on her entrance into the +nunnery, she had felt like me. + +Doubts, she declared, were among our greatest enemies. They would lead +us to question every point of duty, and induce us to waver at every +step. They arose only from remaining imperfection, and were always +evidence of sin. Our only way was to dismiss them immediately, repent, +and confess them. They were deadly sins, and would condemn us to hell, +if we should die without confessing them. Priests, she insisted, could +not sin. It was a thing impossible. Everything that they did, and +wished, was of course right. She hoped I would see the reasonableness +and duty of the oaths I was to take, and be faithful to them. + +She gave me another piece of information which excited other feelings +in me, scarcely less dreadful. Infants were sometimes born in the +convent; but they were always baptized and immediately strangled! This +secured their everlasting happiness; for the baptism purified them from +all sinfulness, and being sent out of the world before they had time to +do anything wrong, they were at once admitted into heaven. How happy, +she exclaimed, are those who secure immortal happiness to such little +beings! Their little souls would thank those who kill their bodies, if +they had it in their power! + +Into what a place, and among what society, had I been admitted! How +differently did a Convent now appear from what I had supposed it to be! +The holy women I had always fancied the nuns to be, the venerable Lady +Superior, what were they? And the priests of the seminary adjoining, +some of whom indeed I had had reason to think were base and profligate +men, what were they all? I now learnt they were often admitted into the +nunnery, and allowed to indulge in the greatest crimes, which they and +others called virtues. + +After having listened for some time to the Superior alone, a number of +the nuns were admitted, and took a free part in the conversation. They +concurred in everything which she had told me, and repeated, without +any signs of shame or compunction, things which criminated themselves. +I must acknowledge the truth, and declare that all this had an effect +upon my mind. I questioned whether I might not be in the wrong, and +felt as if their reasoning might have some just foundation. I had been +several years under the tuition of Catholics, and was ignorant of the +Scriptures, and unaccustomed to the society, example, and conversation +of Protestants; had not heard any appeal to the Bible as authority, but +had been taught, both by precept and example, to receive as truth +everything said by the priests. I had not heard their authority +questioned, nor anything said of any other standard of faith but their +declarations. I had long been familiar with the corrupt and licentious +expressions which some of them use at confessions, and believed that +other women were also. I had no standard of duty to refer to, and no +judgment of my own which I knew how to use, or thought of using. + +All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and +sinfulness; that they knew by experience they would soon give place to +true knowledge, and an advance in religion; and I felt something like +indecision. + +Still, there was so much that disgusted me in the discovery I had now +made, of the debased characters around me, that I would most gladly +have escaped from the nunnery, and never returned. But that was a thing +not to be thought of. I was in their power, and this I deeply felt, +while I thought there was not one among the whole number of nuns to +whom I could look for kindness. There was one, however, who began to +speak to me at length in a tone that gained something of my +confidence,--the nun whom I have mentioned before as distinguished by +her oddity, Jane Ray, who made us so much amusement when I was a +novice. Although, as I have remarked, there was nothing in her face, +form, or manners, to give me any pleasure, she addressed me with +apparent friendliness; and while she seemed to concur in some things +spoken by them, took an opportunity to whisper a few words in my ear, +unheard by them, intimating that I had better comply with everything +the Superior desired, if I would save my life. I was somewhat alarmed +before, but I now became much more so, and determined to make no +further resistance. The Superior then made me repeat the three oaths; +and when I had sworn them, I was shown into one of the community rooms, +and remained some time with the nuns, who were released from their +usual employments, and enjoying a recreation day, on account of the +admission of a new sister. My feelings during the remainder of that +day, I shall not attempt to describe; but pass on to mention the +ceremonies which took place at dinner. This description may give an +idea of the manner in which we always took our meals, although there +were some points in which the breakfast and supper were different. + +At 11 o'clock the bell rung for dinner, and the nuns all took their +places in a double row, in the same order as that in which they left +the chapel in the morning, except that my companion and myself were +stationed at the end of the line. Standing thus for a moment, with our +hands placed one on the other over the breast, and hidden in our large +cuffs, with our heads bent forward, and eyes fixed on the floor; an old +nun who stood at the door, clapped her hands as a signal for us to +proceed, and the procession moved on, while we all commenced the +repetition of litanies. We walked on in this order, repeating all the +way, until we reached the door of the dining-room, where we were +divided into two lines; those on the right passing down one side of the +long table, and those on the left the other, till all were in, and each +stopped in her place. The plates were all ranged, each with a knife, +fork, and spoon, rolled up in a napkin, and tied round with a linen +band marked with the owner's name. My own plate, knife, fork, &c., were +prepared like the rest, and on the band around them I found my new name +written:--"SAINT EUSTACE." + +There we stood till all had concluded the litany; when the old nun who +had taken her place at the head of the table next the door, said the +prayer before meat, beginning "Benedicite," and we sat down. I do not +remember of what our dinner consisted, but we usually had soup and some +plain dish of meat, the remains of which were occasionally served up at +supper as a fricassee. One of the nuns who had been appointed to read +that day, rose and began to lecture from a book put into her hands by +the Superior, while the rest of us ate in perfect silence. The nun who +reads during dinner stays afterward to dine. As fast as we finished our +meals, each rolled up her knife, fork, and spoon in her napkin, and +bound them together with the band, and set with hands folded. The old +nun then said a short prayer, rose, stepped a little aside, clapped her +hands, and we marched towards the door, bowing as we passed before a +little chapel or glass box, containing a wax image of the infant Jesus. + +Nothing important occurred until late in the afternoon, when, as I was +sitting in the community-room, Father Dufresne called me out, saying he +wished to speak with me. I feared what was his intention; but I dared +not disobey. In a private apartment, he treated me in a brutal manner; +and from two other priests I afterward received similar usage that +evening. Father Dufresne afterward appeared again; and I was compelled +to remain in company with him until morning. + +I am assured that the conduct of the priests in our Convent has never +been exposed, and is not imagined by the people of the United States. +This induces me to say what I do, notwithstanding the strong reasons I +have to let it remain unknown. Still, I cannot force myself to speak on +such subjects except in the most brief manner. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns. + + +On Thursday morning, the bell rung at half-past six to awaken us. The +old nun who was acting as night-watch immediately spoke aloud: + +"Voici le Seigneur qui vient." (Behold the Lord cometh.) The nuns all +responded: + +"Allons-y devant lui." (Let us go and meet him.) + +We then rose immediately, and dressed as expeditiously as possible, +stepping into the passage-way at the foot of our beds as soon as we +were ready, and taking places each beside her opposite companion. Thus +we were soon drawn up in a double row the whole length of the room, +with our hands folded across our breasts, and concealed in the broad +cuffs of our sleeves. Not a word was uttered. When the signal was +given, we all proceeded to the community-room, which is spacious, and +took our places in rows facing the entranced, near which the Superior +was seated in a vergiere, or large chair. + +We first repeated, "Au nom du Pere, du Fils, et du Saint Esprit--Ainsi +soit il." (In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy +Ghost--Amen.) + +We then kneeled and kissed the floor; then, still on our knees, we said +a very long prayer, beginning: Divin Jesus, Sauveur de mon ame, (Divine +Jesus, Saviour of my soul). Then came the Lord's prayer, three Hail +Marys, four creeds, and five confessions (confesse a Dieu). + +Next we repeated the ten commandments. Then we repeated the Acts of +Faith, and a prayer to the Virgin in Latin, (which, like every thing +else in Latin, I never understood a word of.) Next we said the litanies +of the holy name of Jesus, in Latin, which was afterward to be repeated +several times in the course of the day. Then came the prayer for the +beginning of the day; then bending down, we commenced the Orison Mental +(or Mental Orison), which lasted about an hour and a half. + +This exercise was considered peculiarly solemn. We were told in the +nunnery that a certain saint was saved by the use of it, as he never +omitted it. It consists of several parts: First, the Superior read to +us a chapter from a book, which occupied five minutes. Then profound +silence prevailed for fifteen minutes, during which we were meditating +upon it. Then she read another chapter of equal length, on a different +subject and we meditated upon that another quarter of an hour; and +after a third reading and meditation, we finished the exercise with a +prayer, called an act of contrition, in which we asked forgiveness for +the sins committed during the Orison. + +During this hour and a half I became very weary, having before been +kneeling for some time, and having then to sit in another position more +uncomfortable, with my feet under me, my hands clasped, and my body +bent humbly forward, with my head bowed down. + +When the Orison was over, we all rose to the upright kneeling posture, +and repeated several prayers, and the litanies of the providences, +"providence de Dieu," &c.; then followed a number of Latin prayers, +which we repeated on the way to mass, for in the nunnery we had mass +daily. + +When mass was over we proceeded in our usual order to the eating-room +to breakfast, practising the same forms which I have described at +dinner. Having made our meal in silence, we repeated the litanies of +the "holy name of Jesus" as we proceeded to the community-room; and +such as had not finished them on their arrival, threw themselves upon +their knees, and remained there until they had gone through with them, +and then kissing the floor, rose again. + +At nine o'clock commenced the lecture, which was read by a nun +appointed to perform that duty that day; all the rest of us in the room +being engaged in work. + +The nuns were at this time distributed in different community-rooms, at +different kinds of work, and in each were listening to a lecture. This +exercise continued until ten o'clock, when the recreation-bell rang. We +still continued our work, but the nuns began to converse with each +other, on subjects permitted by the rules in the hearing of the old +nuns, one of whom was seated in each of the groups. + +At half-past ten the silence bell rang, and then conversation instantly +ceased, and the recitation of some Latin prayers commenced, which +continued half an hour. + +At eleven o'clock the dinner-bell rang, and then we proceeded to the +dining-room, and went through the forms and ceremonies of the preceding +day. We proceeded two by two. The old nun who had the command of us, +clapped her hands as the first couple reached the door, when we +stopped. The first two dipped their fingers into the font, touched the +holy water to the breast, forehead, and each side, thus forming a +cross, said, "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen," +and then walked on to the dining-room, repeating the litanies. The rest +followed their example. On reaching the door the couples divided, and +the two rows of nuns marching up, stopped and faced the table against +their plates. There we stood, repeating the close of the litany aloud. +The old nun then pronounced + +"BENEDICITE," + +and we sat down. One of our number began to read a lecture, which +continued during the whole meal: she stays to eat after the rest have +retired. When we had dined, each of us folded up her napkin, and again +folded her hands. The old nun then repeated a short prayer in French, +and stepping aside from the head of the table, let us pass out as we +came in. Each of us bowed in passing the little chapel near the door, +which is a glass case, containing a waxen figure of the infant Jesus. +When we reached the community-room we took our places in rows, and +kneeled upon the floor, while a nun read aloud, "Douleurs de notre +Sainte Marie" (the sorrows of our holy Mary.) At the end of each verse +we responded "Ave Maria." We then repeated again the litanies of the +Providences, and the + +"BENIS," &c. + +Then we kissed the floor, and rising, took our work, with leave to +converse on permitted subjects; that is what is called _recreation_ +till one o'clock. We then began to repeat litanies, one at a time in +succession, still engaged at sewing, for an hour. + +At two o'clock commenced the afternoon lectures, which lasted till near +three. At that hour one of the nuns stood up in the middle of the room, +and asked each of us a question out of the catechism; and such as were +unable to answer correctly, were obliged to kneel down, until that +exercise was concluded, upon as many dry peas as there were verses in +the chapter out of which they were questioned. This seems like a +penance of no great importance; but I have sometimes kneeled on peas +until I suffered great inconvenience, and even pain. It soon makes one +feel as if needles were running through the skin: whoever thinks it a +trifle, had better try it. + +At four o'clock recreation commenced, when we were allowed, as usual, +to speak to each other, while at work. + +At half-past four we began to repeat prayers in Latin, while we worked, +and concluded about five o'clock, when we commenced repeating the +"prayers for the examination of conscience," the "prayer after +confession," the "prayer before sacrament," and the "prayer after +sacrament." Thus we continued our work until dark, when we laid it +aside, and began to go over the same prayers which we had repeated in +the morning, with the exception of the orison mental; instead of that +long exercise, we examined our consciences, to determine whether we had +performed the resolution we had made in the morning; and such as had +kept it, repeated an "acte de joie," or expression of gratitude; while +such as had not, said an "acte de contrition." + +When the prayers were concluded, any nun who had been disobedient in +the day, knelt and asked pardon of the Superior and her companions "for +the scandal she had caused them;" and then requested the Superior to +give her a penance to perform. When all the penances, had been imposed, +we all proceeded to the eating-room to supper, repeating litanies on +the way. + +At supper the ceremonies were the same as at dinner, except that there +was no lecture read. We ate in silence, and went out bowing to the +chapelle, and repeating litanies. Returning to the community-room which +we had left, we had more prayers to repeat, which are called La +couronne, (crown,) which consists of the following parts: + + 1st, Four Paters, + 2d, Four Ave Marias, + 3d, Four Gloria Patris, + 4th, Benis, &c. + +At the close of these we kissed the floor; after which we had +recreation till half-past eight o'clock, being allowed to converse on +permitted subjects, but closely watched, and not allowed to sit in +corners. + +At half-past eight a bell was rung, and a chapter was read to us, in a +book of meditations, to employ our minds upon during our waking hours +at night. + +Standing near the door, we dipped our fingers in the holy water, +crossed and blessed ourselves, and proceeded up to the sleeping-room, +in the usual order, two by two. When we had got into bed, we repeated a +prayer beginning with + + "Mon Dieu, je vous donne mon coeur," + "God, I give you my heart;" + +and then an old nun, bringing some holy water, sprinkled it on our beds +to drive away the devil, while we took some and crossed ourselves again. + +At nine o'clock the bell rung, and all who were awake repeated a +prayer, called the offrande; those who were asleep were considered as +excused. + +After my admission among the nuns, I had more opportunity than before, +to observe the conduct of mad Jane Ray. She behaved quite differently +from the rest, and with a degree of levity irreconcilable with the +rules. She was, as I have described her, a large woman, with nothing +beautiful or attractive in her face, form, or manners; careless in her +dress, and of a restless disposition, which prevented her from steadily +applying herself to any thing for any length of time, and kept her +roving about, and almost perpetually talking to somebody or other. It +would be very difficult to give an accurate description of this +singular woman; dressed in the plain garments of the nuns, bound by the +same vows, and accustomed to the same life, resembling them in nothing +else, and frequently interrupting all their employments. She was +apparently almost always studying or pursuing some odd fancy; now +rising from sewing, to walk up and down, or straying in from another +apartment, looking about, addressing some of us, and passing out again, +or saying something to make us laugh, in periods of the most profound +silence. But what showed that she was no novelty, was the little +attention paid to her, and the levity with which she was treated by the +old nuns; even the Superior every day passed over irregularities in +this singular person, which she would have punished with penances, or +at least have met with reprimands, in any other. From what I saw of +her, I soon perceived that she betrayed two distinct traits of +character; a kind disposition towards such as she chose to prefer, and +a pleasure in teasing those she disliked, or such as had offended her. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st +Floor--2d Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of +Novices--Religious Lies--Criminality of Concealing Sins at Confession. + + +I will now give from memory, a general description of the interior of +the Convent of Black nuns, except the few apartments which I never saw. +I may be inaccurate in some things, as the apartments and passages of +that spacious building are numerous and various; but I am willing to +risk my credit for truth and sincerity on the general correspondence +between my description and things as they are. And this would, perhaps +be as good a case as any by which to test the truth of my statements, +were it possible to obtain access to the interior. It is well known, +that none but veiled nuns, the bishop, and priests, are ever admitted; +and, of course, that I cannot have seen what I profess to describe, if +I have not been a Black nun. [Footnote: I ought to have made an +exception here, which I may enlarge upon in future Certain other +persons are sometimes admitted.] The priests who read this book, will +acknowledge to themselves the truth of my description; but will, of +course deny it to the world, and probably exert themselves to destroy +or discredit, I offer to every reader the following description, +knowing that time may possibly throw open those secret recesses, and +allow the entrance of those who can satisfy themselves, with their own +eyes, of its truth. Some of my declarations may be thought deficient in +evidence; and this they must of necessity be in the present state of +things. But here is a kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how +unquestionable and satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be +obtained. + +If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever it shall be examined, is +materially different from the following description, then I can claim +no confidence of my readers. If it resembles it, they will, I presume, +place confidence in some of those declarations, on which I may never be +corroborated by true and living witnesses. + +I am sensible that great changes may be made in the furniture of +apartments; that new walls may be constructed, or old ones removed; and +I have been credibly informed, that masons have been employed in the +nunnery since I left it. I well know, however, that entire changes +cannot be made; and that enough must remain as it was to substantiate +my description, whenever the truth shall be known. + +_The First Story_. + +Beginning at the extremity of the right wing of the Convent, towards +Notre Dame-street, on the first story, there is-- + +1st. The nuns' private chapel, adjoining which is a passage to a small +projection of the building, extending from the upper story to the +ground, with very small windows. Into the passage we were sometimes +required to bring wood from the yard and pile it up for use. + +2d. A large community-room, with plain benches fixed against the wall +to sit, and lower ones in front to place our feet upon. There is a +fountain in the passage near the chimney at the farther end, for +washing the hands and face, with a green curtain sliding on a rod +before it. This passage leads to the old nuns' sleeping-room on the +right, and the Superior's sleeping-room, just beyond it, as well as to +a staircase which conducts to the nuns' sleeping-room, or dortoir, +above. At the end of the passage is a door opening into-- + +3d. The dining-room; this is larger than the community-room, and has +three long tables for eating, and a chapelle, or collection of little +pictures, a crucifix, and a small image of the infant Saviour in a +glass case. This apartment has four doors, by the first of which we are +supposed to have entered, while one opens to a pantry, and the third +and fourth to the two next apartments. + +4th. A large community-room, with tables for sewing, and a staircase on +the opposite left-hand corner. + +5th. A community-room for prayer, used by both nuns and novices. In the +farther right-hand corner is a small room partitioned off, called the +room for the examination of conscience, which I had visited while a +novice by permission of the Superior, and where nuns and novices +occasionally resorted to reflect on their character, usually in +preparation for the sacrament, or when they had transgressed some of +the rules. This little room was hardly large enough to contain half a +dozen persons at a time. + +6th. Next beyond is a large community-room for Sundays. A door leads to +the yard, and thence to a gate in the wall on the cross street. + +7th. Adjoining this is a sitting-room, fronting on the cross street, +with two windows, and a store-room on the side opposite them. There is +but little furniture, and that very plain. + +8th. From this room a door leads into what I may call the wax-room, as +it contains many figures in wax, not intended for sale. There we +sometimes used to pray, or meditate on the Saviour's passion. This room +projects from the main building; leaving it, you enter a long passage, +with cupboards on the right, in which are stored crockery-ware, knives +and forks, and other articles of table furniture, to replace those worn +out or broken--all of the plainest description; also, shovels, tongs, +&c. This passage leads to-- + +9th. A corner room, with a few benches, &c., and a door leading to a +gate on the street. Here some of the medicines were kept, and persons +were often admitted on business, or to obtain medicines with tickets +from the priests; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be +sent for. Beyond this room we were never allowed to go; and I cannot +speak from personal knowledge of what came next. + +_The Second Story_. + +Beginning, as before, at the western extremity of the same wing, but on +the second story, the farthest apartment in that direction which I ever +entered was-- + +1st. The nuns' sleeping-room, or dormitory, which I have already +described. Here is an access to the projection mentioned in speaking of +the first story. The stairs by which we came up to bed are at the +farther end of the room; and near them a crucifix and font of holy +water. A door at the end of the room opens into a passage, with two +small rooms, and closets between them, containing bedclothes. Next you +enter-- + +2d. A small community-room, beyond which is a passage with a narrow +staircase, seldom used, which leads into the fourth community-room, in +the first story. Following the passage just mentioned, you enter by a +door-- + +3d. A little sitting-room, furnished in the following manner: with +chairs, a sofa, on the north side, covered with a red-figured cover and +fringe, a table in the middle, commonly bearing one or two books, an +inkstand, pens, &c. At one corner is a little projection into the room, +caused by a staircase leading from above to the floor below, without +any communication with the second story. This room has a door opening +upon a staircase leading down to the yard, on the opposite side of +which is a gate opening into the cross street. By this way the +physician is admitted, except when he comes later than usual. When he +comes in, he usually sits a little while, until a nun goes into the +adjoining nuns' sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to admit +him. After prescribing for the patients he goes no farther, but returns +by the way he enters; and these two are the only rooms into which he is +ever admitted, except the public hospital. + +4th. The nuns' sick-room adjoins the little sitting-room on the east, +and has, I think, four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in +two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the +opposite extremity. The door from the sitting-room swings to the left, +and behind it is a table, while a glass case, to the right, contains a +wax figure of the infant Saviour, with several sheep. Near the +northeastern corner of this room are two doors, one of which opens into +a long and narrow passage leading to the head of the great staircase +that conducts to the cross street. By this passage the physician +sometimes finds his way to the sick-room, when he comes later than +usual. He rings the bell at the gate, which I was told had a concealed +pull, known only to him and the priests, proceeds up-stairs and through +the passage, rapping three times at the door of the sick-room, which is +opened by a nun in attendance, after she has given one rap in reply. +When he has visited his patients, and prescribed for them, he returns +by the same way. + +5th. Next beyond this sick-room, is a large unoccupied apartment, half +divided by two partial partitions, which leave an open space in the +middle. Here some of the old nuns commonly sit in the day-time. + +6th. A door from this apartment opens into another not appropriated to +any particular use, but containing a table, where medicines are +sometimes prepared by an old nun, who is usually found there. Passing +through this room, you enter a passage with doors on its four sides: +that on the left, which is kept fastened on the inside, leads to the +staircase and gate; that in front, to private sick-rooms soon to be +described. + +7th. That on the right leads to another, appropriated to nuns suffering +with the most loathsome disease. There were usually a number of straw +mattresses, in that room, as I well knew, having helped to carry them +in after the yard-man had filled them. A door beyond enters into a +store-room, which extends also beyond this apartment. On the right, +another door opens into another passage; crossing which, you enter by a +door-- + +8th. A room with a bed and screen in one corner, on which nuns were +laid to be examined before their introduction into the sick-room last +mentioned. Another door, opposite the former, opens into a passage, in +which is a staircase leading down. + +9th. Beyond this is a spare-room, sometimes used to store apples, boxes +of different things, &c. + +10th. Returning now to the passage which opens on one side upon the +stairs to the gate, we enter the only remaining door, which leads into +an apartment usually occupied by some of the old nuns, and frequently +by the Superior. + +11th, and 12th. Beyond this are two more sick-rooms, in one of which +those nuns stay who are waiting their accouchment, and in the other, +those who have passed it. + +13th. The next is a small sitting-room, where a priest waits to baptize +the infants previous to their murder. A passage leads from this room, +on the left, by the doors of two succeeding apartments, neither of +which have I ever entered. + +14th. The first of them is the "holy retreat," or room occupied by the +priests, while suffering the penalty of their licentiousness. + +15th. The other is a sitting-room, to which they have access. Beyond +these the passage leads to two rooms, containing closets for the +storage of various articles, and two others where persons are received +who come on business. + +The public hospitals succeed, and extend a considerable distance, I +believe, to the extremity of the building. By a public entrance in that +part, priests often come into the nunnery; and I have often seen some +of them thereabouts, who must have entered by that way. Indeed, priests +often get into the "holy retreat" without exposing themselves to the +view of persons in other parts of the Convent, and have been first +known to be there, by the yard-man being sent to the Seminary for their +clothes. + +The Congregational Nunnery was founded by a nun called Sister +Bourgeoise. She taught a school in Montreal, and left property for the +foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept, +under the nunnery, in an iron chest, which has been shown to me, with +the assurance that it continues in perfect preservation, although she +has been dead more than one hundred and fifty years. In the chapel is +the following inscription: "Soeur Bourgeoise, Fondatrice du +Couvent"--Sister Bourgeoise, Founder of the Convent. + +Nothing was more common than for the Superior to step hastily into our +community-rooms, while numbers of us were assembled there, and hastily +communicate her wishes in words like these:-- + +"Here are the parents of such a novice: come with me, and bear me out +in this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of +falsehoods, she had just invented, that we might be prepared to +fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else might favor the +deception. This was justified, and indeed most highly commended, by the +system of faith in which we were instructed. + +It was a common remark made at the initiation of a new nun into the +Black nun department, that is, to receive the black veil, that the +introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, caused +the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on +account of the singular disappearance of some of the older nuns at the +entrance of new ones! + +To witness the scenes which often occurred between us and strangers, +would have struck a person very powerfully, if he had known how truth +was set at naught. The Superior, with a serious and dignified air, and +a pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most +favorable to the character of the absent novice, and representing her +as equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The +tale told by the Superior, whatever it was, however unheard before, +might have been any of her statements, was then attested by us, who, in +every way we could think of, endeavored to confirm her declarations, +beyond the reach of doubt. + +Sometimes the Superior would intrust the management of such a case to +some of the nuns, whether to habituate us to the practice in which she +was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have +been a serious burden to most other persons, or to ascertain whether +she could depend upon us, or all together, I cannot tell. Often, +however, have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried +manner, "Who can tell the best story?" + +One point, on which we received frequent and particular, instructions +was, the nature of falsehoods. On this subject I have heard many a +speech, I had almost said many a sermon; and I was led to believe that +it was one of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well +informed, as well as to act. "What!" exclaimed a priest one day--"what, +a nun of your age, and not know the difference between a wicked and a +religious lie!" + +He then went on, as had been done many times previously in my hearing, +to show the essential difference between the two different kinds of +falsehoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own +interest alone, or for no object at all, he painted as a sin worthy of +penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or Convent, was +meritorious, and of course the telling of it a duty. And of this class +of lies there were many varieties and shades. This doctrine has been +inculcated on me and my companions in the nunnery, more times than I +can enumerate: and to say that it was generally received, would be to +tell a part of the truth. We often saw the practice of it, and were +frequently made to take part in it. Whenever anything which the +Superior thought important, could be most conveniently accomplished by +falsehood, she resorted to it without scruple. + +There was a class of cases in which she more frequently relied on +deception than any other. + +The friends of the novices frequently applied at the Convent to see +them, or at least to inquire after their welfare. It was common for +them to be politely refused an interview, on some account or other, +generally a mere pretext; and then the Superior usually sought to make +as favorable an impression as possible on the visitors. Sometimes she +would make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers; requiring +some of us to confirm it, in the most convincing way we could. + +At other times she would prefer to make over to us the task of +deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and +success. + +Some nun usually showed her submission, by immediately stepping +forward. She would then add, perhaps, that the parents of such a +novice, whom she named, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they +should be told such, and such, and such things. To perform so difficult +a task well, was considered a difficult duty, and it was one of the +most certain ways to gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever +volunteered to make a story on the spot, was sent immediately to tell +it, and the other nuns present were hurried off with her under strict +injunctions to uphold her in every thing she might state. The Superior, +as there was every reason to believe, on all such occasions, when she +did not herself appear, hastened to the apartment adjoining that in +which the nuns were going, there to listen through the thin partition, +to hear whether all performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon +for her to go rather further, when she wanted time to give such +explanations as she could have desired. She would then enter abruptly, +ask, "Who can tell a good story this morning?" and hurry us off without +a moment's delay, to do our best at a venture, without waiting for +instructions. It would be curious, could a stranger from "the wicked +world" outside the Convent witness such a scene. One of the nuns, who +felt in a favourable humour to undertake the proposed task, would step +promptly forward, and signify her readiness in the usual way: by a +knowing wink of one eye, and slight toss of the head. + +"Well go and do the best you can," the superior would say; "and all the +rest of you must mind and swear to it." The latter part of the order, +at least, was always performed; for in every such case, all the nuns +present appeared as unanimous witnesses of everything that was uttered +by the spokesman of the day. + +We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look +upon ourselves as our own; but must remember, that we were solemnly and +irrevocably devoted to God. Whatever was required of us, we were called +upon to yield under the most solemn considerations. I cannot speak on +every particular with equal freedom: but I wish my readers clearly to +understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used to +reduce us to what we had to submit to. Not only were we required to +perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers, and +penances, under the idea that we were performing solemn duties to our +Maker, but every thing else which was required of us, we were +constantly told, was something indispensable in his sight. The priests, +we admitted were the servants of God, specially appointed by his +authority, to teach us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and to lead us +to heaven. Without their assistance, we had allowed we could never +enjoy the favour of God; unless they administered the sacraments to us, +we could not enjoy everlasting happiness. Having consented to +acknowledge all this, we had no other objection to urge against +admitting any other demand that might be made for or by them. If we +thought an act ever so criminal, the Superior would tell us that the +priests acted under the direct sanction of God, and _could not sin_. Of +course, then, it could not be wrong to comply with any of their +requests, because they could not demand any thing but what was right. +On the contrary, to refuse to do any thing they asked, would +necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines admitted, and such practices +performed, it will not seem wonderful when I mention that we often felt +something of their preposterous character. + +Sometimes we took a pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes +of our teachers; and I recollect one subject particularly, which at one +period afforded us repeated merriment. It may seem irreverent in me to +give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature +were sometimes treated in the Convent, by women bearing the title of +saints. A Canadian Novice, who spoke very broken English, one day +remarked that she was performing some duty "for the God." This peculiar +expression had something ridiculous to the ears of some of us; and it +was soon repeated again and again, in application to various ceremonies +which we had to perform. Mad Jane Ray seized upon it with avidity, and +with her aid it soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so +that we were constantly reminding each other, that we were doing this +and that thing, how trifling and unmeaning soever, "for the God." Nor +did we stop here: when the superior called upon us to bear witness to +one of her religious lies, or to fabricate the most spurious one the +time would admit; to save her the trouble, we were sure to be reminded, +on our way to the strangers' room, that we were doing it "for the God." +And so it was when other things were mentioned--every thing which +belonged to our condition, was spoken of in similar terms. + +I have hardly detained the reader long enough on the subject, to give +him a just impression of the stress laid on confession. It is one of +the great points to which our attention was constantly directed. We +were directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts; to +have continually before our minds the rules of the Convent, to compare +the one with the other, remember every devotion, and tell all, even the +smallest, at confession, either to the Superior or to the priest. My +mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity, which proved very +wearisome; and it required the constant exertion of our teachers, to +keep us up to the practice they inculcated. + +Another tale recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us to +make us feel the importance of unreserved confession. A nun of our +Convent, who had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and +without any one to confess her. Her sisters assembled to pray for the +peace of her soul, when she appeared, and informed them, that it would +be of no use, but rather troublesome to her, as her pardon was +impossible. [Footnote: Since the first edition, I have found this tale +related in a Romish book, as one of very ancient date. It was told to +us as having taken place in our Convent.] The doctrine is, that prayers +made for souls guilty of unconfessed sin, do but sink them deeper in +hell; and this is the reason I have heard given for not praying for +Protestants. + +The authority of the priests in everything, and the enormity of every +act which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds, in various +ways, by our teachers. A "Father" told us the following story one day +at catechism. + +A man once died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had +asked of him; he was condemned to be burnt in purgatory until he should +pay it but had permission to come back to this world, and take a human +body to work in. He made his appearance therefore again on earth, and +hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day with the +fire burning in him, unseen by other people; but while he was in bed +that night, a girl in an adjoining room, perceiving the smell of +brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with +flames. She informed his master, who questioned him the next morning, +and found that his hired man was secretly suffering the pains of +purgatory, for neglecting to pay a certain sum of money to the priest. +He, therefore furnished him the amount due; it was paid, and the +servant went off immediately to heaven. The priest cannot forgive any +debt due unto him, because it is the Lord's estate. + +While at confession, I was urged to hide nothing from the priest, and +have been told by them, that they already knew what was in my heart, +but would not tell, because it was necessary for me to confess it. I +really believed that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts; and +often stood in great awe of them. They often told me they had power to +strike me dead at any moment. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the +Cellar--Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's +Instructions--Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the +Nunnery--Opinions expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of +the Scriptures. + + +I found that I had several namesakes among the nuns, for there were two +others who already bore my new name, Saint Eustace. This was not a +solitary case, for there were five Saint Marys, and three Saint Monros, +besides two novices of that name. Of my namesakes I have little to say, +for they resembled most of the nuns; being so much cut off from +intercourse with me and the other sisters, that I never saw anything in +them, nor learnt any thing about them, worth mentioning. + +Several of my new companions were squaws, who had taken the veil at +different times. They were from some of the Indian settlements in the +country, but were not distinguishable by any striking habits of +character from other nuns, and were generally not very different in +their appearance when in their usual dress, and engaged in their +customary occupations. It was evident, that they were treated with much +kindness and lenity by the Superior and the old nuns; and this I +discovered was done in order to render them as well contented and happy +in their situation as possible. I should have attributed the motives +for this partiality to their wishing that they might not influence +others to keep away, had I not known they were, like ourselves, unable +to exert such an influence. And therefore, I could not satisfy my own +mind why this difference was made. Many of the Indians were remarkably +devoted to the priests, believing every thing they were taught; and as +it is represented to be not only a high honor, but a real advantage to +a family, to have one of its members become a nun, Indian parents will +often pay large sums of money for the admission of their daughters into +a convent. The father of one of the squaws, I was told, paid to the +Superior nearly her weight in silver on her reception, although he was +obliged to sell nearly all his property to raise the money. This he did +voluntarily, because he thought himself overpaid by having the +advantage of her prayers, self-sacrifices, &c. for himself and the +remainder of his family. The squaws sometimes served to amuse us; for +when we were partially dispirited or gloomy, the Superior would +occasionally send them to dress themselves in their Indian garments, +which usually excited us to merriment. + +Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly remember, was one of the +Sainte Hypolites, not the one who figured in a dreadful scene, +described in another part of this narrative, but a woman of a far more +mild and humane character. + +Three or four days after my reception, the Superior sent me into the +cellar for coal; and after she had given me directions, I proceeded +down a staircase, with a lamp in my hand. I soon found myself upon the +bare earth, in a spacious place, so dark, that I could not at once +distinguish its form, or size, but I observed that it had very solid +stone walls, and was arched overhead, at no great elevation. Following +my directions, I proceeded onward from the foot of the stairs, where +appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen +paces, I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large +iron bolts on the outside, pushed into posts of stone-work, and each +having a small opening above, covered with a fine grating, secured by a +smaller bolt. On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these, +and placed opposite them. + +Beyond these, the space became broader; the doors evidently closed +small compartments, projecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I +soon stepped upon a wooden floor, on which were heaps of wool, coarse +linen, and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional +use. I soon crossed the floor, and found the bare earth again under my +feet. + +A little farther on, I found the cellar again contracted in size, by a +row of closets, or smaller compartments projecting on each side. These +were closed by doors of a different description from the first, having +a simple fastening, and no opening through them. Just beyond, on the +left side, I passed a staircase leading up, and then three doors, much +resembling those first described, standing opposite three more, on the +other side of the cellar. Having passed these, I found the cellar +enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some +whitish substance, which attracted my attention. + +As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface +looked almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a +hole dug so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I +stopped to observe it.--It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet +across; in the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of +curb, so that one might easily have walked into it, in the dark. + +The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the +surface around it; and lay in such quantities on all sides, that it +seemed as if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It +immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that +this must be the place where the infants were buried, after being +murdered, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that lime is often +used by Roman Catholics in burying-places; and in this way I accounted +for its being scattered about the spot in such quantities. + +This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it +affected me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things +in the Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from +feeling as I should formerly have done in similar circumstances. + +I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true, +about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place, +but with recollections also of the declarations which I had heard, +about the favor done their souls by sending them straight to heaven, +and the necessary virtue accompanying all the actions of the priests. + +Whether I noticed them or not, at the time, there is a window or two on +each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown +articles brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent. +Through the windows on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the +cross street, lime is received from carts; and I then saw a large heap +of it near the place. + +Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on each +side, with three cells like those I first described.--Beyond them, in +another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetables, and other +things, on the right; and on the left I found the charcoal I was in +search of. This was placed in a heap against the wall, as I might then +have observed, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is +thrown in. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated. + +The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at different +heights, for the earth on the bottom is uneven, and in some places +several feet higher than in others. + +Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent, +especially after the discovery I had made, I hastened to fill my basket +with coal, and to return. + +Here then I was, in a place which I had considered as the nearest +imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds +were constantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most criminal, +and I had now found the place in which harmless infants were +unfeelingly thrown out of sight, after being murdered. + +And yet, such is the power of instruction and example, although not +satisfied, as many around me seemed to be, that all was righteous and +proper, I sometimes was half inclined to believe it, for the priests +could do no sin, and this was done by priests. + +Among the first instructions I received from the Superior, were such as +prepared me to admit priests into the nunnery from the street at +irregular hours. It is no secret, that priests enter and go out; but if +they were to be watched by any person in St. Paul's street all day +long, no irregularity might be suspected; and they might be supposed to +visit the Convent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely. + +But if a person was near the gate at midnight, he might sometimes form +a different opinion; for when a stray priest is shut out of the +Seminary, or is otherwise put to the need of seeking a lodging, he is +always sure of being admitted to the black nunnery. Nobody but a priest +or the physician can ring the bell at the sick-room door; much less can +any others gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed, +somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have been told. + +He makes himself known as a priest by a peculiar kind of hissing sound, +made by the tongue against the teeth, while they are kept closed, and +the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until +informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognizes the +signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often +used instead of yes, with the mouth closed. + +The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite +important, and taught me the signals. I had often occasion to use them; +I have been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching +in a sick room, and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I +have mentioned; then, according to my standing orders, unfastened the +door, admitted the priest, who was at liberty to go where he pleased. I +will name Mr. Bierze, from St. Denis. + +The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them, +were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are +used by the daily readers, while we were at work, and meals. These were +all furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never +had access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then +exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select. + +Le Miroir du Chretien (Christian Mirror), History of Rome, History of +the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent), in +two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur (the Guardian Angel), L'Ange Chretien +(the Christian Angel), Les Vies des Saints (Lives of Saints), in +several volumes, Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations +between a Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on +the articles of faith, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the +former was confuted. One large book, the name of which I have +forgotten, occupied us nine or ten months at our lectures, night and +morning. L'Instruction de la Jeunesse (the Instruction of Youth), +containing much about Convents, and the education of persons in the +world, with a great deal on confessions, &c. Examen de la Conscience, +(Examination of Conscience), is a book frequently used. + +I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day +I entered as a novice, until that on which I effected my escape. The +Catholic New Testament, commonly called the Evangile, was read to us +about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the reader what +passage to select; but we never had it in our hands to read when we +pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of in bitter terms, +as a most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands +of common people. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the +Convent--Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her +House--The Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane +Ray--Vacillation of feelings. + + +Large quantities of bread are made in the Black Nunnery every week, for +besides what is necessary to feed the nuns, many of the poor are +supplied. When a priest wishes to give a loaf of bread to a poor +person, he gives him an order, which is presented at the Convent. The +making of bread is therefore one of the most laborious employments in +the Institution. + +The manufacture of wax candles was another important branch of business +in the nunnery. It was carried on in a small room, on the first floor, +thence called the Ciergerie, or wax-room; _cierge_ being the French +word for a _wax candle_. I was sometimes sent to read the daily lecture +and catechism to the nuns employed there, but found it a very +unpleasant task, as the smell rising from the melted wax gave me a +sickness at the stomach. The employment was considered rather +unhealthy, and those were assigned to it who had the strongest +constitutions. The nuns who were more commonly employed in that room, +were Sainte Marie, Sainte Catharine, Sainte Charlotte, Sainte Francis, +Sainte Hyacinthe, Sainte Hypolite, and others. But with these, as with +other persons in the Convent, I was never allowed to speak, except +under circumstances before mentioned. I was sent to read, and was not +allowed even to answer the most trivial question, if one were asked me. +Should a nun say, "what o'clock is it?" I never should have dared to +reply, but was required to report her to the Superior. + +Much stress was laid on the _sainte scapulaire_, or, holy scapulary. +This is a small band of cloth or silk, formed and wrought in a peculiar +manner, to be tied around the neck by two strings, fastened to the +ends. I have made many of them, having been sometimes set to make them +in the Convent. On one side is worked a kind of double cross, (thus, +XX) and on the other I. II. S., the meaning of which I do not exactly +know. Such a band is called a scapulary, and many miracles are +attributed to its power. Children on first receiving the communion are +often presented with scapularies, which they are taught to regard with +great reverence. We were told of the wonders effected by their means, +in the addresses made to us, by priests at catechism or lectures. I +will repeat one or two of the stories which occur to me. + +A Roman Catholic servant woman, who had concealed some of her sins at +confession, acted so hypocritical a part as to make her mistress +believe her a _decote_, or a strict observer of her duty. She even +imposed upon her confessor, to such a degree, that he gave her a +scapulary. After he had given it, however, one of the saints in heaven +informed him in a vision, that the holy scapulary must not remain on +the neck of so great a sinner; and that it must be restored to the +church. She lay down that night with the scapulary round her throat, +but in the morning was found dead, with her head cut off, and the +scapulary was discovered in the church. The belief was, that the devil +could not endure to have so holy a thing on one of his servants, and +had pulled so hard to get it off, as to draw the silken thread with +which it was tied, through her neck; after which, by some divine power +it was restored to the church. + +Another story was as follows. A poor Roman Catholic was once taken +prisoner by the heretics. He had a _sainte scapulaire_ on his neck, +when God seeing him in the midst of his foes, took it from his neck by +a miracle, and held it up in the air above the throng of heretics; more +than one hundred of whom were converted, by seeing it thus +supernaturally suspended. + +I had been informed by the Superior, on my first admission as a nun, +that there was a subterraneous passage, leading from the cellar of our +Convent into that of the Congregational Nunnery; but, though I had so +often visited the cellar, I had never seen it. One day, after I had +been received three or four months, I was sent to walk through it upon +my knees with another nun, as a penance. This, and other penances, were +sometimes put upon us by the priests, without any reason assigned. The +common way, indeed, was to tell us of the sin for which a penance was +imposed, but we were left many times to conjecture. Now and then the +priests would inform us at a subsequent confession, when he happened to +recollect something about it, as I thought, and not because he +reflected, or cared much about the subject. + +The nun who was with me led me through the cellar, passing to the right +of the secret burying place, and showed me the door of the +subterraneous passage, which was at the extremity towards the +Congregational Nunnery. The reasons why I had not noticed it before, I +presume, were that it was made to shut close and even with the wall, +and all that part of the cellar was whitewashed. The door, which is of +wood, and square, opens with a latch into a passage, about four feet +and a half high. We immediately got upon our knees, commenced saying +the prayers required, and began to move slowly along the dark and +narrow passage. It may be fifty or sixty feet in length; when we +reached the end, we opened a door, and found ourselves in the cellar of +the Congregational Nunnery, at some distance from the outer wall; for +the covered way is carried in towards the middle of the cellar by two +low partitions covered at the top. By the side of the door, was placed +a list of names of the Black nuns, with a slide, that might be drawn +over any of them. We covered our names in this manner, as evidence of +having performed the duty assigned us; and then returned backwards on +our knees, by the way we had come. This penance I repeatedly performed +afterwards; and by this way, as I have occasion elsewhere to mention, +nuns from the Congregational Nunnery, sometimes entered our Convent for +worse purposes. + +We were frequently assured, that miracles are still performed; and +pains were taken to impress us deeply on this subject. The Superior +often spoke to us of the Virgin Mary's pincushion, the remains of which +it is pretended are preserved in the Convent, though it has crumbled +quite to dust. We regarded this relic with such veneration, that we +were afraid even to look at it, and we often heard the following story +related, when the subject was introduced. + +A priest in Jerusalem once had a vision, in which he was informed that +the house in which the Virgin had lived, should be removed from its +foundations, and transported to a distance. He did not think the +communication was from God, and therefore disregarded it; but the house +was soon after missed, which convinced him that the vision was true, +and he told where the house might be found. A picture of the house is +preserved in the Nunnery, and was sometimes shown us. There are also +wax figures of Joseph sawing wood, and Jesus as a child, picking up the +chips. We were taught to sing a little song relating to this, the +chorus of which I remember. + + "Saint Joseph charpentier, + Petit Jesus ramassait les copeaux + Pour fair bouillir la marmite." + +St. Joseph was a carpenter, little Jesus collected chips to make the +pot boil. + +I began to speak of miracles, and I recollect a story of one, about a +family in Italy saved from shipwreck by a priest, who were in +consequence converted and had two sons honoured with the priest's +office. + +I had heard before I entered the Convent, about a great fire which +destroyed a number of houses in the Quebec suburbs, and which some said +the Bishop extinguished with holy water. I once heard a Catholic and a +Protestant disputing on this subject, and when I went to the +Congregational Nunnery, I sometimes heard the children, alluding to the +same story, say at an alarm of fire, "Is it a Catholic fire? Then why +does not the Bishop run?" + +Among the topics on which the bishop addressed the nuns in the Convent +this was one. He told us the story one day, and said he could have +sooner interfered and stopped the flames, but that at last, finding +they were about to destroy too many Catholic houses, he threw holy +water on the fire, and extinguished it. I believed this, and also +thought that he was able to put out any fire, but that he never did it, +except when inspired. + +The holy water which the Bishop had consecrated, was considered much +more efficacious, than any blessed by a common priest; and this it was +which was used in the Convent in sprinkling our beds. It had virtue in +it, to keep off any evil spirits. + +Now that I was a nun, I was occasionally sent to read lectures to the +novices, as other nuns had been while I was a novice. There were but +few of us, who were thought capable of reading English well enough, and +therefore, I was more frequently sent than I might otherwise have been. +The Superior often said to me, as I was going among the novices: + +"Try to convert them--save their souls--you know you will have a higher +place in heaven for every one you convert." + +For whatever reason, Mad Jane Ray seemed to take great delight in +crossing and provoking the Superior and old nuns; and often she would +cause an interruption when it was most inconvenient and displeasing to +them. The preservation of silence was insisted upon most rigidly, and +penances of such a nature were imposed for breaking it, that it was a +constant source of uneasiness with me, to know that I might infringe +the rules in so many ways, and that inattention might at any moment +subject me to something very unpleasant. During the periods of +meditation, therefore, and those of lecture, work, and repose, I kept a +strict guard upon myself, to escape penances, as well as to avoid sin; +and the silence of the other nuns, convinced me that they were equally +watchful, and from the same motives. + +My feelings, however, varied at different times, and so did those of +many, if not all my companions, excepting the older ones, who took +their turns in watching us. We sometimes felt disposed for gaiety, and +threw off all ideas that talking was sinful, even when forbidden by the +rules of the Convent. And even when I felt that I might perhaps be +doing wrong, I reflected that confession, and certainly penance, would +soon wipe off the guilt. + +I may remark here, that I ere long found out several things, important +to be known, to a person living under such rules. One of these was, +that it was much better to confess to a priest, a sin committed against +the rules, because he would not require one of the penances I most +disliked, viz.: those which exposed of me to the observation of the +nuns, or which demanded self-debasement before them, like begging their +pardon, kissing the floor, or the Superior's feet, &c., and, besides, +he as a confessor was said to be bound to secrecy, and could not inform +the Superior against me. My conscience being as effectually unburthened +by my confession to the priest, as I had been taught to believe, I +therefore preferred not to tell my sins to any one else; and this +course I found was preferred by others for the same good reasons. + +To Jane Ray, however, it sometimes appeared to be a matter of perfect +indifference, who knew her violations of rule, or to what penances she +exposed herself. + +Often and often, while perfect silence prevailed among the nuns, at +meditation, or while nothing was to be heard except the voice of the +reader appointed for the day, no matter whose life or writings were +presented for our contemplations, Jane would break forth with some +remark or question, that would attract general attention, and often +cause a long and total interruption. Sometimes she would make some +harmless remark or inquiry aloud, as if through mere inadvertency, and +then her well-known voice, so strongly associated with every thing +singular and ridiculous, would arrest the attention of us all, and +generally incline us to smile, and even force us to laugh. The Superior +would then usually utter some hasty remonstrance, and many a time have +I heard her pronounce some penance upon her; but Jane had ever some +apology ready, or some reply calculated to irritate still farther, or +to prove to every one, that no punishment would be effectual on her. +Sometimes this singular woman would appear to be actuated by opposite +feelings and motives; for although she usually delighted in drawing +others into difficulty, and has thrown many a severe penance even upon +her greatest favourites; on other occasions she appeared totally +regardless of consequences herself, and preferred to take all the +blame, anxious only to shield others. + +I have repeatedly known her to break silence in the community, as if +she had no object, or none beyond that of causing disturbance, or +exciting a smile, and as soon as it was noticed, exclaim: "Say it's me, +say it's me!" + +Sometimes she would even expose herself to punishments in place of +another who was guilty; and thus I found it difficult fully to +understand her. In some cases she seemed decidedly out of her wits, as +the Superior and priests commonly preferred to represent her; but +generally I saw in her what prevented me from accounting her insane. + +Among her most common tricks were such as these: She gave me the name +of the "Devout English Reader," because I was often appointed to make +the lecture to the English girls; and sometimes, after taking a seat +near me, under pretence of deafness, would whisper it in my hearing, +because she knew my want of self-command when excited to laughter. Thus +she often exposed me to penances for a breach of decorum, and set me to +biting my lips, to avoid laughing outright in the midst of a solemn +lecture. "Oh! you devout English Reader!" would sometimes come upon me +suddenly from her lips, with something in it so ludicrous that I had to +exert myself to the utmost to avoid observation. + +This came so often at one time, that I grew uneasy, and told her I must +confess it, to unburden my conscience; I had not done so before, +because she would complain of me, for giving way to temptation. + +Sometimes she would pass behind us as we stood at dinner ready to sit +down, and softly moving back our chairs, leave us to fall down upon the +floor. This she repeatedly has done; and While we were laughing +together, she would spring forward, kneel to the Superior, and beg her +pardon and a penance. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports +made to friends of St. Francis. + + +But I must now come to one deed, in which I had some part, and which I +look back upon with greater horror and pain, than any occurrences in +the Convent, in which I was not the principal sufferer. It is not +necessary for me to attempt to excuse myself in this or any other case. +Those who have any disposition to judge fairly, will exercise their own +judgment in making allowances for me, under the fear and force, the +commands and examples, around me. I, therefore, shall confine myself, +as usual, to the simple narrative of facts. The time was about five +months after I took the veil; the weather was cool, perhaps in +September or October. One day, the Superior sent for me and several +other nuns, to receive her commands at a particular room. We found the +Bishop and some priests with her; and speaking in an unusual tone of +fierceness and authority, she said, "Go to the room for the Examination +of Conscience, and drag Saint Francis up-stairs." Nothing more was +necessary than this unusual command, with the tone and manner which, +accompanied it, to excite in me most gloomy anticipation. It did not +strike me as strange, that St. Francis should be in the room to which +the Superior directed us. It was an apartment to which we were often +sent to prepare for the communion, and to which we voluntarily went, +whenever we felt the compunctions which our ignorance of duty, and the +misinstructions we received, inclined us to seek relief from +self-reproach. Indeed, I had seen her there a little before. What +terrified me was, first, the Superior's angry manner, second, the +expression she used, being a French term, whose [illegible] we had +learnt in the Convent, and whose meaning is rather softened when +translated into _drag_; third, the place to which we were directed to +take the interesting young nun, and the persons assembled there as I +supposed to condemn her. My fears were such, concerning the fate that +awaited her, and my horror at the idea that she was in some way to be +sacrificed, that I would have given any thing to be allowed to stay +where I was. But I feared the consequence of disobeying the Superior, +and proceeded with the rest towards the room for the examination of +conscience. + +The room to which we were to proceed from that, was in the second +story, and the place of many a scene of a shameful nature. It is +sufficient for me to say, after what I have said in other parts of this +book, that things had there occurred which made me regard the place +with the greatest disgust Saint Francis had appeared melancholy for +some time. I well knew that she had cause, for she had been repeatedly +subject to trials which I need not name--our common lot. When we +reached the room where we had been bidden to seek her, I entered the +door, my companions standing behind me, as the place was so small as +hardly to hold five persons at a time. The young nun was standing alone +near the middle of the room; she was probably about twenty, with light +hair, blue eyes, and a very fair complexion. I spoke to her in a +compassionate voice, but at the same time with such a decided manner, +that she comprehended my full meaning-- + +"Saint Francis, we are sent for you." + +Several others spoke kindly to her, but two addressed her very harshly. +The poor creature turned round with a look of meekness, and without +expressing any unwillingness or fear, without even speaking a word, +resigned herself to our hands. The tears came into my eyes. I had not a +moment's doubt that she considered her fate as sealed, and was already +beyond the fear of death. She was conducted, or rather hurried to the +staircase, which was near by, and then seized by her limbs and clothes, +and in fact almost dragged up-stairs, in the sense the Superior had +intended. I laid my own hands upon her--I took hold of her too,--more +gentle indeed than some of the rest; yet I encouraged and assisted them +in carrying her. I could not avoid it. My refusal would not have saved +her, nor prevented her being carried up; it would only have exposed me +to some severe punishment, as I believed some of my companions, would +have seized the first opportunity to complain of me. + +All the way up the staircase, Saint Francis spoke not a word, nor made +the slightest resistance. When we entered with her the room to which +she was ordered, my heart sank within me. The Bishop, the Lady +Superior, and five priests, viz. Bonin, Richards, Savage, and two +others, I now ascertained, were assembled for her trial, on some charge +of great importance. + +When we had brought our prisoner before them, Father Richards began to +question her, and she made ready but calm replies. I cannot pretend to +give a connected account of what ensued: my feelings were wrought up to +such a pitch, that I knew not what I did, nor what to do. I was under a +terrible apprehension that, if I betrayed my feelings which almost +overcame me, I should fall under the displeasure of the cold-blooded +persecutors of my poor innocent sister; and this fear on the one hand, +with the distress I felt for her on the other, rendered me almost +frantic. As soon as I entered the room, I had stepped into a corner, on +the left of the entrance, where I might partially support myself, by +leaning against the wall, between the door and window. This support was +all that prevented me from falling to the floor, for the confusion of +my thoughts was so great, that only a few of the words I heard spoken +on either side made any lasting impression upon me. I felt as if struck +with some insupportable blow; and death would not have been more +frightful to me. I am inclined to the belief, that Father Richards +wished to shield the poor prisoner from the severity of her fate, by +drawing from her expressions that might bear a favorable construction. +He asked her, among other things, if she was not sorry for what she had +been overheard to say, (for she had been betrayed by one of the nuns,) +and if she would not prefer confinement in the cells, to the punishment +which was threatened her. But the Bishop soon interrupted him, and it +was easy to perceive, that he considered her fate as sealed, and was +determined she should not escape. In reply to some of the questions put +to her, she was silent; to others I heard her voice reply that she did +not repent of words she had uttered, though they had been reported by +some of the nuns who had heard them; that she still wished to escape +from the Convent; and that she had firmly resolved to resist every +attempt to compel her to the commission of crimes which she detested. +She added, that she would rather die than cause the murder of harmless +babes. + +"That is enough, finish her!" said the Bishop. + +Two nuns instantly fell upon the young woman, and in obedience to +directions, given by the Superior, prepared to execute her sentence. + +She still maintained all the calmness and submission of a lamb. Some of +those who took part in this transaction, I believe, were as unwilling +as myself; but of others I can safely say, that I believe they +delighted in it. Their conduct certainly exhibited a most blood-thirsty +spirit. But, above all others present, and above all human fiends I +ever saw, I think Sainte Hypolite was the most diabolical. She engaged +in the horrid task with all alacrity, and assumed from choice the most +revolting parts to be performed. She seized a gag, forced it into the +mouth of the poor nun, and when it was fixed between her extended jaws, +so as to keep them open at their greatest possible distance, took hold +of the straps fastened at each end of the stick, crossed them behind +the helpless head of the victim, and drew them tight through the loop +prepared, as a fastening. + +The bed which had always stood in one part of the room, still remained +there; though the screen, which had usually been placed before it, and +was made of thick muslin, with only a crevice through which a person +behind might look out, had been folded up on its hinges in the form of +a W, and placed in a corner. On the bed the prisoner was laid with her +face upward, and then bound with cords, so that she could not move. In +an instant another bed was thrown upon her. One of the priests, named +Bonin, sprung like a fury first upon it, and stamped upon it, with all +his force. He was speedily followed by the nuns, until there were as +many upon the bed as could find room, and all did what they could, not +only to smother, but to bruise her. Some stood up and jumped upon the +poor girl with their feet, some with their knees, and others in +different ways seemed to seek how they might best beat the breath out +of her body, and mangle it, without coming in direct contact with it, +or seeing the effects of their violence. During this time, my feelings +were almost too strong to be endured. I felt stupefied, and was +scarcely conscious of what I did. Still, fear for myself remained in a +sufficient degree to induce me to some exertion, and I attempted to +talk to those who stood next, partly that I might have an excuse for +turning away from the dreadful scene. + +After the lapse of fifteen or twenty minutes, and when it was presumed +that the sufferer had been smothered, and crushed to death, Father +Bonin and the nuns ceased to trample upon her, and stepped from the +bed. All was motionless and silent beneath it. + +They then began to laugh at such inhuman thoughts as occurred to some +of them, rallying each other in the most unfeeling manner, and +ridiculing me for the feelings which I in vain endeavoured to conceal. +They alluded to the resignation of our murdered companion, and one of +them tauntingly said, "She would have made a good Catholic martyr." +After spending some moments in such conversation, one of them asked if +the corpse should be removed. The Superior said it had better remain a +little while. After waiting a short time longer, the feather-bed was +taken off, the cords unloosed, and the body taken by the nuns and +dragged down stairs. I was informed that it was taken into the cellar, +and thrown unceremoniously into the hole which I have already +described, covered with a great quantity of lime, and afterwards +sprinkled with a liquid, of the properties and name of which I am +ignorant. This liquid I have seen poured into the hole from large +bottles, after the necks were broken off, and have heard that it is +used in France to prevent the effluvia rising from cemeteries. + +I did not soon recover from the shock caused by this scene; indeed it +still recurs to me, with most gloomy impressions. The next day there +was a melancholy aspect over everything, and recreation time passed in +the dullest manner; scarcely anything was said above a whisper. + +I never heard much said afterward about Saint Francis. + +I spoke with one of the nuns, a few words, one day, but we were all +cautioned not to expose ourselves very far, and could not place much +reliance in each other. The murdered nun had been brought to her +shocking end through the treachery of one of our number, in whom she +confided. + +I never knew with certainty who had reported her remarks to the +Superior, but suspicion fastened on one, and I never could regard her +but with detestation. + +I was more inclined to blame her than some of those employed in the +execution; for there could have been no necessity for the betrayal of +her feelings. We all knew how to avoid exposing each other. + +I was often sent by the Superior to overhear what was said by novices +and nuns: when they seemed to shun her, she would say, "Go and listen, +they are speaking English;" and though I obeyed her, I never informed +her against them. If I wished to clear my conscience, I would go to a +priest, and confess, knowing that he dared not communicate what I said +to any person, and that he would not impose as heavy penances as the +Superior. + +We were always at liberty to choose another confessor when we had any +sin to confess, which we were unwilling to tell one to whom we should +otherwise have gone. + +Not long after the murder just related, a young woman came to the +nunnery, and asked for permission to see Saint Francis. It was my +former friend, with whom I had been an assistant teacher, Miss Louise +Bousquet, of St. Denis. From this, I supposed the murdered nun might +have come from that town, or its vicinity. The only answer returned to +the inquiry was, that Saint Francis was dead. + +Some time afterward, some of St. Francis' friends called to inquire +after her, and they were told that she had died a glorious death; and +further told, that she made some heavenly expressions, which were +repeated in order to satisfy her friends. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in +it--Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples. + + +The pictures in the room of the Three States were large, and painted by +some artist who understood how to make horrible ones. They appeared to +be stuck to the walls. The light is admitted from small and high +windows, which are curtained, and is rather faint, so as to make every +thing look gloomy. The story told us was, that they were painted by an +artist to whom God had given power to represent things exactly they are +in heaven, hell, and purgatory. + +In heaven, the picture of which hangs on one side of the apartment, +multitudes of nuns and priests are put in the highest places, with the +Virgin Mary at the head, St. Peter and other saints far above the great +numbers of good Catholics of other classes, who were crowded in below. + +In purgatory are multitudes of people; and in one part, called "_The +place of lambs_," are infants who died unbaptized. "_The place of +darkness_," is that part of purgatory in which adults are collected; +and there they are surrounded with flames, waiting to be delivered by +the prayers of the living. + +In hell, the picture of which, and that of purgatory, were on the wall +opposite that of heaven, the human faces were the most horrible that +can be imagined. Persons of different descriptions were represented, +with the most distorted features, ghastly complexions, and every +variety of dreadful expression; some with wild beasts gnawing at their +heads, others furiously biting the iron bars which kept them in, with +looks which could not fail to make a spectator shudder. + +I could hardly persuade myself that the figures were not living, and +the impression they made on my feelings was powerful. I was often shown +the place where nuns go who break their vows, as a warning. It is the +hottest place in hell, and worse, in every point of view, even than +that to which Protestants are assigned; because they are not so much to +be blamed, as we were sometimes assured, as their ministers and the +Bible, by which they are perverted. + +Whenever I was shut in that room, as I was several times, I prayed for +"les ames des fideles trepasses:" the souls of those faithful ones who +have long been in purgatory, and have no relations living to pray for +them. + +My feelings were often of the most painful description, while I +remained alone with those frightful pictures. + +Jane Ray was once put in, and uttered the most dreadful shrieks. Some +of the old nuns proposed to the Superior to have her gagged: "No" she +replied; "go and let out that devil, she makes me sin more than all the +rest." + +Jane could not endure the place; and she afterward gave names to many +of the worst figures in the pictures. On catechism-days she would take +a seat behind a cupboard-door, where the priest could not see her, +while she faced the nuns, and would make us laugh. "You are not so +attentive to your lesson as you used to be," he would begin to say, +while we were endeavouring to suppress our laughter. + +Jane would then hold up the first letter of some priest's name, whom +she had before compared with one of the faces in "hell," and look so +that we could hardly preserve our gravity. I remember she named the +wretch who was biting at the bars of hell, with a serpent gnawing his +head, with chains and padlocks on, Father Dufresne; and she would +say--"Does not he look like him, when he comes in to Catechism with his +long solemn face, and begins his speeches with, 'My children, my hope +is, you have lived very devout lives?'" + +The first time I went to confession after taking the veil, I found +abundant evidence that the priests did not treat even that ceremony, +which is called a solemn sacrament, with respect enough to lay aside +the detestable and shameless character they so often showed on other +occasions. The confessor sometimes sat in the room of examination of +conscience, and sometimes in the Superior's room, and always alone, +except the nun who was confessing. He had a common chair placed in the +middle of the floor, and instead of being placed behind a grate, or +lattice, as in the chapel, had nothing before or around him. There were +no spectators to observe him, and of course any such thing would have +been unnecessary. + +A number of nuns usually confessed on the same day, but only one could +be admitted into the room at the time. They took their places just +without the door, on their knees, and went through the preparation +prescribed by the rules of confession; repeating certain prayers, which +always occupy a considerable time. When one was ready, she rose from +her knees, entered, and closed the door behind her; and no other one +even dared touch the latch until she came out. + +I shall not tell what was transacted at such times, under the pretence +of confessing, and receiving absolution from sin: far more guilt was +often incurred than pardoned; and crimes of a deep die were committed, +while trifling irregularities, in childish ceremonies, were treated as +serious offences. I cannot persuade myself to speak plainly on such a +subject, as I must offend the virtuous ear. I can only say, that +suspicion cannot do any injustice to the priests, because their sins +cannot be exaggerated. + +Some idea may be formed of the manner in which even such women as many +of my sister nuns were regarded the confessors, when I state, that +there was often a contest among us, to avoid entering the apartment as +long as we could, endeavouring to make each other go first, as that was +what most of us dreaded. + +During the long and tedious days, which filled up the time between the +occurrences I have mentioned, nothing, or little took place to keep up +our spirits. We were fatigued in body with labour, or with sitting, +debilitated by the long continuance of our religious exercises, and +depressed in feelings by our miserable and hopeless condition. Nothing +but the humors of mad Jane Ray, could rouse us for a moment from our +languor and melancholy. + +To mention all her devices, would require more room than is here +allowed, and a memory of almost all her words and actions for years. I +had early become a favourite with her, and had opportunity to learn +more of her character than most of the other nuns. As this may be best +learnt from hearing what she did, I will here recount a few of her +tricks, just as they happen to present themselves to my memory, without +regard to the order of time. + +She one day, in an unaccountable humour, sprinkled the floor +plentifully with holy water, which brought upon her a severe lecture +from the Superior, as might have been expected. The Superior said it +was a heinous offence; she had wasted holy water enough to save many +souls from purgatory; and what would they not give for it! She then +ordered Jane to sit in the middle of the floor, and when the priest +came, he was informed of her offence. Instead, however, of imposing one +of those penances to which she had often been subjected, but with so +little effect, he said to her, "Go to your place, Jane; we forgive you +for this time." + +I was once set to iron aprons with Jane; aprons and +pocket-handkerchiefs are the only articles of dress which are ever +ironed in the Convent. As soon as we were alone, she remarked, "Well, +we are free from the rules, while we are at this work;" and although +she knew she had no reason for saying so, she began to sing, and I soon +joined her, and thus we spent the time, while we were at work, to the +neglect of the prayers we ought to have said. + +We had no idea that we were in danger of being overheard, but it +happened that the Superior was overhead all the time, with several +nuns, who were preparing for confession: she came down and said, "How +is this?" Jane Ray coolly replied, that we had employed our time in +singing hymns, and referred to me. I was afraid to confirm so direct a +falsehood, in order to deceive the Superior, though I had often told +more injurious ones of her fabrication, or at her orders, and said very +little in reply to Jane's request. + +The Superior plainly saw the trick that was attempted, and ordered us +both to the room for the examination of conscience, where we remained +till night, without a mouthful to eat. The time was not, however, +unoccupied; I received such a lecture from Jane, as I have very seldom +heard, and she was so angry with me that we did not speak to each other +for two weeks. + +At length she found something to complain of against me, had me +subjected to a penance, which led to our begging each other's pardon, +and we became perfectly satisfied, reconciled, and as good friends as +ever. + +One of the most disgusting penances we ever had to submit to, was that +of drinking the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Nobody +could ever laugh at this penance except Jane Ray. She would pretend to +comfort us, by saying, she was sure it was better than mere plain, +clear water. + +Some of the tricks which I remember, were played by Jane with nuns' +clothes. It was a rule that the oldest aprons in use should go to the +youngest received, and the old nuns were to wear all the new ones. On +four different occasions, Jane stole into the sleeping-room at night, +and unobserved by the watch, changed a great part of the aprons, +placing them by the beds of nuns to whom they did not belong. The +consequence was, that in the morning they dressed themselves in such +haste, as never to discover the mistakes they made, until they were all +ranged at prayers; and then the ridiculous appearance which many of +them cut, disturbed the long devotions. I laugh so easily, that on such +occasions, I usually incurred a full share of penances, I generally, +however, got a new apron, when Jane played this trick; for it was part +of her object, to give the best aprons to her favourites, and put off +the ragged ones on some of the old nuns whom she most hated. + +Jane once lost her pocket-handkerchief. The penance for such an offence +is, to go without any for five weeks. For this she had no relish, and +requested me to pick one from some of the nuns on the way up-stairs. I +succeeded in getting two: this Jane said was one too many; and she +thought it dangerous for either of us to keep it, lest a search should +be made. Very soon the two nuns were complaining that they had lost +their handkerchiefs, and wondering what could have become of them, as +they were sure that they had been careful. Jane seized an opportunity, +and slipped one into a straw bed, where it remained until the bed was +emptied to be filled with new straw. + +As the winter was coming on, one year, she complained to me that we +were not as well supplied with warm night-clothes as two of the nuns +she named, whom she said she "abominated." She soon after found means +to get possession of their fine warm flannel nightgowns, one of which +she gave to me, while the other she put on at bed time. She presumed +the owners would have a secret search for them; and in the morning hid +them in the stove, after the fire had gone out, which was kindled a +little before the hour of rising, and then suffered to burn down. + +This she did every morning, taking them out at night, through the +winter. The poor nuns who owned the garments were afraid to complain of +their loss, lest they should have some penance laid on them, and +nothing was ever said about them. When the weather began to grow warm +in the spring Jane returned the nightgowns to the beds of the nuns, +from whom she had borrowed them, and they were probably as much +surprised to find them again, as they had before been at losing them. + +Jane once found an opportunity to fill her apron with a quantity of +fine apples, called _fameuses_, which came in her way, and, hastening +up to the sleeping-room, hid them under my bed. Then, coming down, she +informed me, and we agreed to apply for leave to make our elevens, as +it is called. The meaning of this is, to repeat a certain round of +prayers, for nine days in succession, to some saint we choose to +address for assistance, in becoming more charitable, affectionate or +something else. We easily obtained permission, and hastened up-stairs +to begin our nine days' feast on the apples; when, much to our +surprise, they had all been taken away, and there was no way to avoid +the disagreeable fate we had brought upon ourselves. Jane therefore +began to search the beds of the other nuns; but not finding any trace +of the apples, she became doubly vexed and stuck pins in those which +belonged to her enemies. + +When bedtime came, they were much scratched in getting in bed, which +made them break silence, and that subjected them to penances. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick +Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of +her Tricks--Feigned Humility--Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made +by stratagem. + + +One night, Jane, who had been sweeping the sleeping-room, for a +penance, dressed up the broom-stick, when she had completed her work, +with a white cloth on the end, so tied as to resemble an old woman +dressed in white, with long arms sticking out. This she stuck through a +broken pane of glass, and placed it so that it appeared to be looking +in at the window, by the font of holy water. There it remained until +the nuns came up to bed. The first who stopped at the font, to dip her +finger in, caught a glimpse of the singular object, and started with +terror. The next was equally terrified, as she approached, and the next +and the next. + +We all believed in ghosts; and it was not wonderful that such an object +should cause alarm, especially as it was but a short time after the +death of one of the nuns. Thus they went on, each getting a fright in +turn, yet all afraid to speak. At length, one more alarmed, or with +less presence of mind than the rest, exclaimed, "Oh, mon Dieu! Je ne me +coucherais pas!" When the night-watch called out, "Who's that?" she +confessed she had broken silence, but pointed at the cause; and then, +all the nuns assembling at a distance from the window, Jane offered to +advance boldly, and ascertain the nature of the apparition, which they +thought a most resolute intention. We all stood looking on, when she +stepped to the window, drew in the broomstick, and showed us the +ridiculous puppet, which had alarmed so many superstitious fears. + +Some of her greatest feats she performed as a sleep walker. Whether she +ever walked in her sleep or not, I am unable with certainty, to say. +She however often imposed upon the Superior and old nuns, by making +them think so, when I knew she did not; and yet, I cannot positively +say that she always did. I have remarked, that one of the old nuns was +always placed in our sleeping-room at night, to watch us. Sometimes she +would be inattentive, and sometimes fall into a doze. Jane Ray often +seized such times to rise from her bed, and walk about, occasionally +seizing one of the nuns in bed, in order to frighten her. This she +generally affected; and many times we have all been awakened, by +screams of terror. In our alarm, some of us frequently broke silence, +and gave occasion to the Superior to lay us under penances. Many tunes, +however, we escaped with a mere reprimand, while Jane usually received +expressions of compassion:--"Poor creature! she would not do so if she +were in perfect possession of her reason." And Jane displayed her +customary artfulness, in keeping up the false impression. As soon as +she perceived that the old nun was likely to observe her, she would +throw her arms about, or appear unconscious of what she was doing, +falling upon a bed, or standing stock-still, until exertions had been +made to rouse her from her supposed lethargy. + +We were once allowed to drink cider at dinner, which was quite an +extraordinary favour. Jane, however, on account of her negligence of +all work, was denied the privilege, which she much resented. The next +day when dinner arrived, we began to taste our new drink, but it was so +salt we could not swallow it. Those of us who at first discovered it, +were, as usual, afraid to speak; but we set down our cups, and looked +round, till the others made the same discovery, which they all soon +did, and most of them in the same manner. Some, however, at length, +taken by surprise, uttered some ludicrous exclamation, on tasting the +salted cider, and then an old nun, looking cross, would cry out:-- + +"Ah! tu casses la silence!" (Ah! you've broken silence.) + +And thus we soon got a-laughing, beyond our power of suppressing it. At +recreation, that day, the first question asked by many of us, was, "How +did you like your cider?" + +Jane Ray never had a fixed place to sleep in. When the weather began to +grow warm in the spring, she usually pushed some bed out of its place, +near a window, and put her own beside it; and when the winter +approached, she would choose a spot near the stove, and occupy it with +her bed, in spite of all remonstrance. We were all convinced that it +was generally best to yield to her. + +She was often set to work, in different ways; but, whenever she was +dissatisfied with doing any thing, would devise some trick that would +make the Superior, or old nuns, drive her off; and whenever any +suspicion was expressed, of her being in her right mind, she would say, +that she did not know what she was doing; that all the difficulty arose +from her repeating prayers too much, which wearied and distracted her +mind. + +I was once directed to assist Jane Ray, in shifting the beds of the +nuns. When we came to those of some of the sisters, whom she most +disliked, she said, now we will pay them for some of the penances we +have suffered on their account; and taking some thistles, she mixed +them with the straw. At night, the first of them who got into bed, felt +the thistles, and cried out. The night-watch exclaimed, as usual, "You +are breaking silence there." And then another screamed, as she was +scratched by the thistles and another. The old nun then called on all +who had broken silence to rise, and ordered them to sleep under their +beds, as a penance, which they silently complied with. Jane and I +afterward confessed, when it was all over, and took some trifling +penance which the priest imposed. + +Those nuns who fell most under the displeasure of mad Jane Ray, as I +have intimated before, were those who had the reputation of being most +ready to inform of the trifling faults of others and especially those +who acted without any regard to honour, by disclosing what they had +pretended to listen to in confidence. Several of the worst tempered +"saints" she held in abhorrence; and I have heard her say, that such +and such, she abominated. Many a trick did she play upon these, some of +which were painful to them in their consequences, and a good number of +them have never been traced to this day. Of all the nuns, however, none +other was regarded by her with so much detestation as Saint Hypolite; +for she was always believed to have betrayed Saint Francis, and to have +caused her murder. She was looked upon by us as the voluntary cause of +her death, and of the crime which those of us committed, who, +unwillingly, took part in her execution. We, on the contrary, being +under the worst of fears for ourselves, in case of refusing to obey our +masters and mistress, thought ourselves chargeable with less guilt, as +unwilling assistants in a scene, which it was impossible for us to +prevent or delay. Jane has often spoken to me of the suspected +informer, and always in terms of the greatest bitterness. + +The Superior sometimes expressed commiseration for mad Jane Ray, but I +never could tell whether she really believed her insane or not. I was +always inclined to think that she was willing to put up with some of +her tricks, because they served to divert our minds from the painful +and depressing circumstances in which we were placed. I knew the +Superior's powers and habits of deception also, and that she would +deceive us as willingly as any one else. + +Sometimes she proposed to send Jane to St. Anne's, a place near Quebec, +celebrated for the pilgrimages made to it by persons differently +afflicted. It is supposed that some peculiar virtue exists there, which +will restore health to the sick; and I have heard stories told in +corroboration of the common belief. Many lame and blind persons, with +others, visit St. Anne's every year, some of whom may be seen +travelling on foot, and begging their food. The Superior would +sometimes say that it was a pity that a woman like Jane Ray, capable of +being so useful, should be unable to do her duties in consequence of a +malady which she thought might be cured by a visit to St Anne's. + +Yet to St. Anne's Jane never was sent, and her wild and various tricks +continued as before. The rules of silence, which the others were so +scrupulous in observing, she set at naught every hour; and as for other +rules, she regarded them with as little respect when they stood in her +way. She would now and then step out and stop the clock by which our +exercises were regulated, and sometimes, in this manner, lengthened out +our recreations till near twelve. At last the old nuns began to watch +against such a trick, and would occasionally go out to see if the clock +was going. + +She once made a request that she might not eat with the other nuns, +which was granted, as it seemed to proceed from a spirit of genuine +humility, which made her regard herself as unworthy of our society. + +It being most convenient, she was sent to the Superior's table to make +her meals after her; and it did not at first occur to the Superior, +that Jane, in this manner, profited by the change, by getting much +better food than the rest of us. Thus there seemed to be always +something deeper than anybody at first suspected, at the bottom of +everything she did. + +She was once directed to sweep a community-room, under the +sleeping-chamber. This office had before been assigned to the other +nuns, as a penance; but the Superior, considering that Jane Ray did +little or nothing, determined thus to furnish her with some employment. + +She declared to us that she would not sweep it long, as we might soon +be assured. It happened that the stove by which that community-room was +warmed in the winter, had its pipe carried through the floor of our +sleeping-chamber, and thence across it, in a direction opposite that in +which the pipe of our stove was carried. It being then warm weather, +the first-mentioned pipe had been taken down, and the hole left +unstopped. After we had all retired to our beds, and while engaged in +our silent prayers, we were suddenly alarmed by a bright blaze of fire, +which burst from the hole in the floor, and threw sparks all around us. +We thought the building was burning, and uttered cries of terror +regardless of the penances, the fear of which generally kept us silent. + +The utmost confusion prevailed; for although we had solemnly vowed +never to flee from the Convent even if it was on fire, we were +extremely alarmed, and could not repress our feelings. We soon learnt +the cause, for the flames ceased in a moment or two, and it was found +that mad Jane Ray, after sweeping a little in the room beneath, had +stuck a quantity of wet powder on the end of her broom, thrust it up +through the hole in the ceiling into our apartment, and with a lighted +paper set it on fire. + +The date of this alarm I must refer to a time soon after that of the +election riots, for I recollect that she found means to get possession +of some of the powder which was prepared at that time, for an emergency +to which some thought the Convent was exposed. + +She once asked for pen and paper, and when the Superior told her that +if she wrote to her friends she must see it, she replied, that it was +for no such purpose; she wanted to write her confession, and thus make +it once for all. She wrote it, handed it to the priest, and he gave it +to the Superior, who read it to us. It was full of offences which she +had never committed, evidently written to throw ridicule on +confessions, and one of the most ludicrous productions I ever saw. + +Our bedsteads were made with narrow boards laid across them, on which +the beds were laid. One day, while we were in the bedchamber together, +she proposed that we should misplace these boards. This was done, so +that at night nearly a dozen nuns fell down upon the floor on getting +into bed. A good deal of confusion naturally ensued, but the authors +were not discovered. I was so conscience-stricken, however, that a week +afterward, while we examined our consciences together, I told her I +must confess the sin the next day. She replied, "Do as you like, but +you will be sorry for it." + +The next day, when we came before the Superior, I was just going to +kneel and confess, when Jane, almost without giving me time to shut the +door, threw herself at the Superior's feet, and confessed the trick, +and a penance was immediately laid on me for the sin I had concealed. + +There was an old nun, who was a famous talker, whom used to call La +Mere, (Mother). One night, Jane Ray got up, and secretly changed the +caps of several of the nuns, and hers among the rest. In the morning +there was great confusion, and such a scene as seldom occurred. She was +severely blamed by La Mere, having been informed against by some of the +nuns; and at last became so much enraged, that she attacked the old +woman, and even took her by the throat. La Mere called on all present +to come to her assistance, and several nuns interfered. Jane seized the +opportunity afforded in the confusion to beat some of her worst enemies +quite severely, and afterwards said, that she had intended to kill some +of the rascally informers. + +For a time Jane made us laugh so much at prayers, that the Superior +forbade her going down with us to morning prayers, and she took the +opportunity to sleep in the morning. When this was found out, she was +forbidden to get into her bed again after leaving it, and then she +would creep under it and take a nap on the floor. This she told us of +one day, but threatened us if we ever betrayed her. At length, she was +missed at breakfast, as she would sometimes oversleep herself, and the +Superior began to be more strict, and always inquired, in the morning +whether Jane Ray was in her place. When the question was general, none +of us answered; but when it was addressed to some nun near her by name, +as, "Saint Eustace, is Jane Ray in her place?" then we had to reply. + +Of all the scenes that occurred during my stay in the Convent, there +was none which excited the delight of Jane more than one which took +place in the chapel one day at mass, though I never had any particular +reason to suppose that she had brought it about. + +Some person, unknown to me to this day, had put some substance or +other, of a most nauseous smell, into the hat of a little boy, who +attended at the altar, and he, without observing the trick, put it upon +his head. In the midst of the ceremonies he approached some of the +nuns, who were almost suffocated with the odour; and as he occasionally +moved from place to place some of them began to beckon to him to stand +further off, and to hold their noses, with looks of disgust. The boy +was quite unconscious of the cause of the difficulty, and paid them no +attention; but the confusion soon became so great, through the distress +of some, and the laughing of others, that the Superior noticed the +circumstance, and beckoned to the boy to withdraw. All attempts, +however, to engage us in any work, prayer, or meditation, were found +ineffectual. Whenever the circumstances in the chapel came to mind, we +would laugh out. We had got into such a state, that we could not easily +restrain ourselves. The Superior, yielding to necessity, allowed us +recreation for the whole day. + +The Superior used sometimes to send Jane to instruct the novices in +their English prayers. She would proceed to her task with all +seriousness; but sometimes chose the most ridiculous, as well as +irreverent passages, from songs, and other things, which she had before +somewhere learnt, which would set us, who understood her, laughing. One +of her rhymes, I recollect, began with: + + "The Lord of love, look from above, + Upon this turkey hen." + +Jane for a time slept opposite me, and often in the night would rise, +unobserved, and slip into my bed, to talk with me, which she did in a +low whisper, and return again with equal caution. + +She would tell me of the tricks she had played, and such as she +meditated, and sometimes make me laugh so loud, that I had much to do +in the morning with begging pardons, and doing penances. + +One winter's day, she was sent to light a fire; but after she had done +so, remarked privately to some of us: "My fingers were too cold--you'll +see if I do it again." The next day, there was a great stir in the +house, because it was said that mad Jane Ray had been seized with a fit +while making a fire, and she was taken up apparently insensible, and +conveyed to her bed. She complained to me, who visited her in the +course of the day, that she was likely to starve, as food was denied +her; and I was persuaded to pin a stocking under my dress, and secretly +put food into it from the table. This I afterward carried to her and +relieved her wants. + +One of the things which I blamed Jane most for, was a disposition to +quarrel with any nun who seemed to be winning the favour of the +Superior. She would never rest until she had brought such a one into +some difficulty. + +We were allowed but little soap; and Jane, when she found her supply +nearly gone, would take the first piece she could find. One day there +was a general search made for a large piece that was missed; when, soon +after I had been searched, Jane Ray passed me and slipped it into my +pocket; she was soon after searched herself and then secretly came for +it again. + +While I recall these particulars of our nunnery, and refer so often to +the conduct and language of one of the nuns, I cannot speak of some +things which I believed or suspected, on account of my want of +sufficient knowledge. But it is a pity you have not Jane Ray for a +witness; she knows many things of which I am ignorant. She must be in +possession of facts that should be known. Her long residence in the +Convent, her habits of roaming about it, and of observing every thing, +must have made her acquainted with things which would be heard with +interest. I always felt as if she knew everything. She would often go +and listen, or look through the cracks into the Superior's room, while +any of the priests were closeted with her, and sometimes would come and +tell me what she witnessed. I felt myself bound to confess in such +cases, and always did so. + +She knew, however, that I only told it to the priest or to the +Superior, and without mentioning the name of my informant, which I was +at liberty to withhold, so that she was not found out. I often said to +her, "Don't tell me, Jane, for I must confess it." She would reply: + +"It is better for you to confess it than for me." I thus became, even +against my will, informed of scenes, supposed by the actors of them to +be secret. + +Jane Ray once persuaded me to accompany her into the Superior's room, +to hide with her under the sofa, and await the appearance of a visitor +whom she expected, that we might overhear what passed between them. We +had been long concealed, when the Superior came in alone and sat for +some time, when fearing she might detect us in the stillness which +prevailed, we began to repent of our temerity. At length however, she +suddenly withdrew, and thus afforded us a welcome opportunity to escape. + +I was passing one day through a part of the cellar, where I had not +often occasion to go, when the toe of my shoe hit something. I tripped +and fell down. I rose again, and holding my lamp to see what had caused +my fall, I found an iron ring, fastened to a small square trapdoor. +This I had the curiosity to raise, and saw four or five steps leading +down, but there was not light enough to see more, and I feared to be +noticed by somebody and reported to the Superior; so closing the door +again, I left the spot. At first, I could not imagine the use for such +a passage; but it afterward occurred to me, that this might open to the +subterranean passage to the Seminary, for I never before could account +for the appearance of many of the priests, who often appeared and +disappeared among us, particularly at night, when I knew the gates were +closed. They could, as I now saw, come up to the door of the Superior's +room at any hour, then up the stairs into our sleeping-room, or where +they chose. And often they were in our beds before us. + +I afterward ascertained that my conjectures were correct, and that a +secret communication was kept up, in this manner, between the two +institutions, at the end towards Notre Dame-street, at a considerable +depth under ground. I often afterward, met priests in the cellar, when +sent there for coal and other articles, as they had to pass up and down +the common cellar stairs on their way. + +My wearisome daily prayers and labours, my pain of body, and depression +of mind which were so much increased by penances I had suffered, and +those which I constantly feared, and the feelings of shame, remorse, +and horror, which sometimes arose, brought me into a state which I +cannot describe. + +In the first place, my frame was enfeebled by the uneasy postures I was +required to keep for so long a time during prayers. This alone I +thought was sufficient to undermine my health and destroy my life. An +hour and a half every morning I had to sit on the floor of the +community-room, with my feet under me, my body bent forward, and my +head hanging on one side--in a posture expressive of great humility, it +is true, but very fatiguing to keep for such an unreasonable length of +time. Often I found it impossible to avoid falling asleep in this +posture, which I could do without detection, by bending a little lower +than usually. The signal to rise, or the noise made by the rising of +the other nuns, then woke me, and I got up with the rest unobserved. + +Before we took the posture just described, we had to kneel for a long +time without bending the body, keeping quite erect, with the exception +of the knees only, with the hands together before the breast. This I +found the most distressing attitude for me, and never assumed it +without feeling a sharp pain in my chest, which I often thought would +soon lead me to my grave--that is, to the great common receptacle for +the dead, under the chapel. And this upright kneeling posture we were +obliged to resume as soon as we rose from the half-sitting posture +first mentioned; so that I usually felt myself exhausted and near to +fainting before the conclusion of morning services. + +I found the meditations extremely tedious, and often did I sink into +sleep while we were all seated in silence on the floor. When required +to tell my meditations, as it was thought to be of no great importance +what we said, I sometimes found I had nothing to tell but a dream, and +told that, which passed off very well. + +Jane Ray appeared to be troubled still more than myself with wandering +thoughts; and when blamed for them, would reply, "I begin very well; +but directly I begin to think of some old friend of mine, and my +thoughts go a-wandering from one country to another." + +Sometimes I confessed my falling asleep; and often the priests have +talked to me about the sin of sleeping in time of meditation. At last, +one of them proposed to me to prick myself with a pin, which I have +often done, and so roused myself for a time. + +My close confinement in the Convent, and the want of opportunities to +breathe the open air, might have proved more injurious to me than they +did, had I not employed a part of my time in more active labours than +those of sewing, &c., to which I was chiefly confined. I took part +occasionally in some of the heavy work, as washing, &c. + +The events which I am now to relate, occurred about five months after +my admission into the Convent as a nun; but I cannot fix the time with +precision, as I know not of any thing which took place in the world +about the same period. The circumstance I clearly remember; but, as I +have elsewhere remarked, we were not accustomed to keep any account of +time. + +Information was given to us one day, that another novice was to be +admitted among us; and we were required to remember and mention her +often in our prayers, that she might have faithfulness in the service +of her holy spouse. No information was given us concerning her beyond +this fact: not a word about her age, name, or nation. On all similar +occasions the same course was pursued, and all that the nuns ever +learnt concerning one another was what they might discover by being +together, and which usually amounted to little or nothing. + +When the day of her admission arrived, though I did not witness the +ceremony in the chapel, it was a gratification to us all on one +account, because we were all released from labour, and enjoyed a great +recreation-day. + +Our new sister, when she was introduced to the "holy" society of us +"saints," proved to be young, of about the middle size, and very +good-looking for a Canadian; for I soon ascertained that she was one of +my own countrywomen. The Canadian females are generally not handsome. I +never learnt her name, nor any thing of her history. She had chosen +Saint Martin for her nun name. She was admitted in the morning, and +appeared melancholy all day. This I observed was always the case; and +the remarks made by others, led me to believe that they, and all they +had seen, had felt sad and miserable for a longer or shorter time. Even +the Superior, as it may be recollected, confessed to me that she had +experienced the same feelings when she was received. When bedtime +arrived, she proceeded to the chamber with the rest of us, and was +assigned a bed on the side of the room opposite my own, and a little +beyond. The nuns were all soon in bed, the usual silence ensued, and I +was making my customary mental prayer and composing myself to sleep, +when I heard the most piercing and heart-rending shrieks proceed from +our new comrade. Every nun seemed to rise as if by one impulse, for no +one could hear such sounds, especially in such total silence, without +being greatly excited. A general noise succeeded, for many voices spoke +together, uttering cries of surprise, compassion, or fear. It was in +vain for the night-watch to expect silence: for once we forgot rules +and penances, and gave vent to our feelings, and she could do nothing +but call for the Superior. Strange as it may seem, mad Jane Ray, who +found an opportunity to make herself heard for an instant, uttered an +exclamation in English, which so far from expressing any sympathy for +the sufferer, seemed to betray feelings hardened to the last degree +against conscience and shame. This caused a laugh among some of those +who understood her, and had become hardened to their own trials, and of +course in a great measure to those of others. + +I heard a man's voice mingled with the cries and shrieks of the nun. +Father Quiblier, of the Seminary, I had felt confident, was in the +Superior's room at the time when we retired; and several of the nuns +afterward assured me that it was he. The Superior soon made her +appearance, and in a harsh manner commanded silence. I heard her +threaten gagging her, and then say, "You are no better than anybody +else, and if you do not obey, you shall be sent to the cells." + +One young girl was taken into the Convent during my abode there, under +peculiar circumstances. I was acquainted with the whole affair, as I +was employed to act a part in it. + +Among the novices, was a young lady of about seventeen, the daughter of +an old rich Canadian. She had been remarkable for nothing that I know +of except the liveliness of her disposition. The Superior once +expressed to us a wish to have her take the veil, though the girl +herself had never had any such intention, that I knew of. Why the +Superior wished to receive her, I could only conjecture. One reason +might have been, that she expected to receive a considerable sum from +her father. She was, however, strongly desirous of having the girl in +our community, and one day said: "Let us take her in by a trick, and +tell the old man she felt too humble to take the veil in public." + +Our plans then being laid, the unsuspecting girl was induced by us, in +sport, as we told her, and made her believe, to put on such a splendid +robe as I had worn on my admission, and to pass through some of the +ceremonies of taking the veil. After this, she was seriously informed, +that she was considered as having entered the Convent in earnest, and +must henceforth bury herself to the world, as she would never be +allowed to leave it. We put on her a nun's dress, though she wept, and +refused, and expressed the greatest repugnance. The Superior +threatened, and promised, and flattered, by turns, until the poor girl +had to submit; but her appearance long showed that she was a nun only +by compulsion. + +In obedience to the directions of the Superior, we exerted ourselves to +make her contented, especially when she was first received, when we got +round her, and told her we had felt so for a time, but having since +become acquainted with the happiness of a nun's life, were perfectly +content and would never be willing to leave the Convent. An exception +seemed to be made in her favor, in one respect: for I believe no +criminal attempt was made upon her, until she had been some time an +inmate of the nunnery. + +Soon after her reception, or rather her forcible entry into the +Convent, her father called to make inquiry about his daughter. The +Superior first spoke with him herself, and then called us to repeat her +plausible story, which I did with accuracy. If I had wished to say any +thing else, I never should have dared. + +We told the foolish old man, that his daughter, whom we all loved, had +long desired to become a Nun, but had been too humble to wish to appear +before spectators, and had, at her own desire, been favored with a +private admission into the community. + +The benefit conferred upon himself and his family, by this act of +self-consecration I reminded him, must be truly great and valuable; as +every family which furnishes a priest, or a nun, is justly looked upon +as receiving the peculiar favor of heaven on that account. The old +Canadian firmly believed every word I was forced to tell him, took the +event as a great blessing, and expressed the greatest readiness to pay +more than the customary fee to the Convent. After the interview, he +withdrew, promising soon to return and pay a handsome sum to the +convent, which he performed with all despatch, and the greatest +cheerfulness. The poor girl never heard that her father had taken the +trouble to call to see her, much less did she know any thing of the +imposition passed upon him. She remained in the Convent when I left it. + +The youngest girl who ever took the veil of our sisterhood, was only +fourteen years of age, and considered very pious. She lived but a short +time. I was told that she was ill-treated by the priests, and believe +her death was in consequence. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives, Jane Ray's +Hymns, The Superior's best Trick. + + +It was considered a great duty to exert ourselves to influence novices +in favor of the Roman Catholic religion; and different nuns, were, at +different times, charged to do what they could, by conversation, to +make favourable impressions on the minds of some, who were particularly +indicated to us by the Superior. I often heard it remarked, that those +who were influenced with the greatest difficulty, were young ladies +from the United States; and on some of those, great exertions were made. + +Cases in which citizens of the States were said to have been converted +to the Roman Catholic faith, were sometimes spoken of, and always as if +they were considered highly important. + +The Bishop, as we were told, was on the public square, on the day of an +execution, when, as he said, a stranger looked at him in some peculiar +manner, which made him confidently believe God intended to have him +converted by his means. When he went home, he wrote a letter for him, +and the next day found him again in the same place, and gave him the +letter, which led to his becoming a Roman Catholic. This man, it was +added, proved to be a citizen of the States. + +The Bishop, as I have remarked, was not very dignified on all +occasions, and sometimes acted in such a manner as would not have +appeared well in public. + +One day I saw him preparing for mass; and because he had difficulty in +getting on his robe, showed evident signs of anger. One of the nuns +remarked: "The Bishop is going to perform a passionate mass." Some of +the others exclaimed: "Are you not ashamed to speak so of my lord!" And +she was rewarded with a penance. + +But it might be hoped that the Bishop would be free from the crimes of +which I have declared so many priests to have been guilty. I am far +from entertaining such charitable opinions of him; and I had good +reasons, after a time. + +I was often required to sleep on a sofa, in the room of the present +Superior, as I may have already mentioned. + +One night, not long after I was first introduced there, for that +purpose, and within the first twelve months of my wearing the veil, +having retired as usual, at about half-past nine, not long after we had +got into bed, the alarm-bell from without, which hangs over the +Superior's bed, was rung. She told me to see who was there; and going +down, I heard the signal given, which I have before mentioned, a +peculiar kind of hissing sound made through the teeth. I answered with +a low, "Hum-hum;" and then opened the door. It was Bishop Lartigue, the +present Bishop of Montreal. He said to me, "Are you a Novice or a +Received?" meaning a Received nun. I answered a "Received." + +He then requested me to conduct him to the Superior's room, which I +did. He went to the bed, drew the curtains behind him, and I lay down +again upon the sofa, until morning, when the Superior called me, at an +early hour, about daylight, and directed me to show him the door, to +which I conducted him, and he took his departure. + +I continued to visit the cellar frequently, to carry up coal for the +fires, without anything more than a general impression that there were +two nuns, somewhere imprisoned in it. One day while there on my usual +errand, I saw a nun standing on the right of the cellar, in front of +one of the cell doors I had before observed; she was apparently engaged +with something within. This attracted my attention. The door appeared +to close in a small recess, and was fastened with a stout iron bolt on +the outside, the end of which was secured by being let into a hole in +the stone-work which formed the posts. The door, which was of wood, was +sank a few inches beyond the stone-work, rose and formed an arch +overhead. Above the bolt was a window supplied with a fine grating, +which swung open, a small bolt having been removed from it, on the +outside. The nun I had observed seemed to be whispering with some +person within, through the little window: but I hastened to get my +coal, and left the cellar, presuming that was the prison. When I +visited the place again, being alone, I ventured to the spot, +determined to learn the truth, presuming that the imprisoned nuns, of +whom the Superior had told me on my admission, were confined there. I +spoke at the window where I had seen the nun standing, and heard a +voice reply in a whisper. The aperture was so small, and the place so +dark, that I could see nobody; but I learnt that a poor wretch was +confined there a prisoner. I feared that I might be discovered, and +after a few words, which I thought could do no harm, I withdrew. + +My curiosity was now alive, to learn every thing I could about so +mysterious a subject. I made a few inquiries of Saint Xavier, who only +informed me that they were punished for refusing to obey the Superior, +Bishop, and Priests. I afterward found that the other nuns were +acquainted with the fact I had just discovered. All I could learn, +however, was, that the prisoner in the cell whom I had spoken with, and +another in the cell just beyond, had been confined there several years +without having been taken out; but their names, connexions, offences, +and everything else relating to them, I could never learn, and am still +as ignorant of as ever. Some conjectured that they had refused to +comply with some of the rules of the Convent or requisitions of the +Superior; others, that they were heiresses whose property was desired +for the convent, and who would not consent to sign deeds of it. Some of +the nuns informed me, that the severest of their sufferings arose from +fear of supernatural beings. + +I often spoke with one of them in passing near their cells, when on +errands in the cellar, but never ventured to stop long, or to press my +inquiries very far. Besides, I found her reserved, and little disposed +to converse freely, a thing I could not wonder at when I considered her +situation, and the characters of persons around her. She spoke like a +woman in feeble health, and of broken spirits. I occasionally saw other +nuns speaking to them, particularly at mealtimes, when they were +regularly furnished with food, which was such as we ourselves ate. + +Their cells were occasionally cleaned and then the doors were opened. I +never looked into them, but was informed that the ground was their only +floor. I presumed that they were furnished with straw to lie upon, as I +always saw a quantity of old straw scattered about that part of the +cellar, after the cells had been cleansed. I once inquired of one of +them, whether they could converse together, and she replied that they +could, through a small opening between their cells, which I could not +see. + +I once inquired of the one I spoke with in passing, whether she wanted +anything, and she replied, "Tell Jane Ray I want to see her a moment if +she can slip away." When I went up I took an opportunity to deliver my +message to Jane, who concerted with me a signal to be used in future, +in case a similar request should be made through me. This was a sly +wink at her with one eye, accompanied with a slight toss of my head. +She then sought an opportunity to visit the cellar, and was soon able +to hold an interview with the poor prisoners, without being noticed by +any one but myself. I afterward learnt that mad Jane Ray was not so +mad, but she could feel for those miserable beings, and carry through +measures for their comfort. She would often visit them with +sympathizing words, and, when necessary, conceal part of her food while +at table, and secretly convey it into their dungeons. Sometimes we +would combine for such an object; and I have repeatedly aided her in +thus obtaining a larger supply of food than they had been able to +obtain from others. + +I frequently thought of the two nuns confined in the cells, and +occasionally heard something said about them, but very little. Whenever +I visited the cellar and thought it safe, I went up to the first of +them and spoke a word or two, and usually got some brief reply, without +ascertaining that any particular change took place with either of them. +The one with whom I ever conversed, spoke English perfectly well, and +French I thought as well. I supposed she must have been well educated, +for I could not tell which was her native language. I remember that she +frequently used these words when I wished to say more to her, and which +alone showed that she was constantly afraid of punishment: "Oh, there's +somebody coming--do go away!" I have been told that the other prisoner +also spoke English. + +It was impossible for me to form any certain opinion about the size or +appearance of those two miserable creatures, for their cells were +perfectly dark, and I never caught the slightest glimpse even of their +faces. It is probable they were women not above the middle size, and my +reason for this presumption is the following: I was sometimes appointed +to lay out the clean clothes for all the nuns in the Convent on +Saturday evening, and was always directed to lay by two suits for the +prisoners. Particular orders were given to select the largest sized +garments for several tall nuns; but nothing of the kind was ever said +in relation to the clothes for those in the cells. + +I had not been long a veiled nun, before I requested of the Superior +permission to confess to the "Saint Bon Pasteur," (Holy Good Shepherd,) +that is, the mysterious and nameless nun whom I had heard of while a +novice. I knew of several others who had confessed to her at different +times, and of some who had sent their clothes to be touched by her when +they were sick; and I felt a desire to unburden my heart of certain +things, which I was loath to acknowledge to the Superior, or any of the +priests. + +The Superior made me wait a little, until she could ascertain whether +the "Saint Bon Pasteur" was ready to admit me; and after a time +returned, and told me to enter the old nuns' room. That apartment has +twelve beds, arranged like the berths of a ship by threes; and as each +is broad enough to receive two persons, twenty-four may be lodged +there, which was about the number of old nuns in the Convent during the +most of my stay in it. Near an opposite corner of the apartment was a +large glass case, with no appearance of a door, or other opening, in +any part of it: and in that case stood the venerable nun, in the dress +of the community, with her thick veil spread over her face, so as to +conceal it entirely. She was standing, for the place did not allow room +for sitting, and moved a little, which was the only sign of life, as +she did not speak. I fell upon my knees before her, and began to +confess some of my imperfections, which lay heavy upon my mind, +imploring her aid and intercession, that I might be delivered from +them. She appeared to listen to me with patience, but still never +returned a word in reply. I became much affected as I went on, and at +length began to weep bitterly; and when I withdrew, was in tears. It +seemed to me that my heart was remarkably relieved after this exercise, +and all the requests I had made, I found, as I believed, strictly +fulfilled. I often, afterward, visited the old nuns' room for the same +purpose, and with similar results, so that my belief in the sanctity of +the nameless nun, and my regard for her intercession were unbounded. + +What is remarkable, though I repeatedly was sent into that A room to +dust it, or to put it in order, I remarked that the glass case was +vacant, and no signs were to be found either of the nun or of the way +by which she had left it; so that a solemn conclusion rested upon my +mind, that she had gone on one of her frequent visits to heaven. + +A priest would sometimes come in the daytime to teach us to sing, and +this was done with some parade or stir, as if it were considered, or +meant to be considered as a thing of importance. + +The instructions, however, were entirely repetitions of the words and +tunes, nothing being taught even of the first principles of the +science. It appeared to me, that although hymns alone were sung, the +exercise was chiefly designed for our amusement, to raise our spirits a +little, which were apt to become depressed. Mad Jane Ray certainly +usually treated the whole thing as a matter of sport, and often excited +those of us who understood English to a great degree of mirth. She had +a very fine voice, which was so powerful as generally to be heard above +the rest. Sometimes she would be silent when the other nuns began; I +and the Superior would often call out, "Jane Ray, you don't sing." She +always had some trifling excuse ready, and commonly appeared unwilling +to join the rest. After being urged or commanded by the Superior, she +would then strike up some English song, or profane parody, which was +rendered ten times more ridiculous by the ignorance of the Lady +Superior and the majority of the nuns. I cannot help laughing now when +I remember how she used to stand with perfect composure and sing, + + "I wish I was married and nothing to rue, + With plenty of money and nothing to do." + +"Jane Ray, you don't sing right," the Superior would exclaim. "Oh," she +would reply, with perfect coolness, "that is the English for, + + 'Seigneur Dieu de clemence, + Recois ce grand pecheur;'" + +and, as sung by her, a person ignorant of the language would naturally +be imposed upon. It was extremely difficult for me to conceal my +laughter. I have always had greater exertion to make in repressing it +than most other persons; and mad Jane Ray often took advantage of this. + +Saturday evening usually brought with it much unpleasant work for some +of us. We received the Sacrament every Sunday; and in preparation for +it, on Saturday evening we asked pardon of the Superior and of each +other "for the scandal we had caused since we last received the +Sacrament," and then asked the Superior's permission to receive it on +the following day. She inquired of each nun who necessarily asked her +permission, whether she, naming her as Saint somebody, had concealed +any sin that should hinder her from receiving it; and if the answer was +in the negative, she granted her permission. + +On Saturdays we were catechised by a priest, being assembled in a +community-room. He sat on the right of the door in a chair. He often +told us stories, and frequently enlarged on the duty enticing novices +into the nunnery. "Do you not feel" he would say, "now that you are +safely out of the world, sure of heaven? But remember how many poor +people are yet in the world. Every novice you influence to the black +veil, will add to your honour in heaven. Tell them how happy you are." + +The Superior played one trick while I was in the Convent, which always +passed for one of the most admirable she ever carried into execution. +We were pretty good judges in a case of this kind, for, as may be +presumed, we were rendered familiar with the arts of deception under so +accomplished a teacher. + +There was an ornament on hand in the nunnery, of an extraordinary kind, +which was prized at ten pounds; but it had been made and exposed to +view so long, that it became damaged and quite unsaleable. We were one +day visited by an old priest from the country, who was evidently +somewhat intoxicated; and as he withdrew to go to his lodgings, in the +Seminary, where the country priests often stay, the Superior conceived +a plan for disposing of the old ornament. "Come," said she, "we will +send it to the old priest, and swear he has bought it!" + +We all approved of the ingenious device, for it evidently might be +classed among the pious frauds we had so often had recommended to us +both by precept and example; and the ornament was sent to him the next +morning, as his property when paid for. He soon came to the Convent, +and expressed the greatest surprise that he had been charged with +purchasing such a thing, for which he had no need and no desire. + +The Superior heard this declaration with patience, but politely +insisted that it was a fair bargain; and we then surrounded the old +priest, with the strongest assertions that such was the fact, and that +nobody would ever have thought of his purchasing it unless he had +expressly engaged to take it. The poor old man was entirely put down. +He was certain of the truth: but what could he do: resist or disprove a +direct falsehood pronounced by the Superior of a Convent, and sworn to +by all her holy nuns? He finally expressed his conviction that we were +right: he was compelled to pay his money. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy +Retreat--Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract +Conscience--Ingenious Arguments. + + +Some of the priests from the Seminary were in the nunnery every day and +night, and often several at a time. I have seen nearly all of them at +different times, though there are about one hundred and fifty in the +district of Montreal. There was a difference in their conduct; though I +believe every one of them was guilty of licentiousness; while not one +did I ever see who maintained a character any way becoming the +profession of a priest. Some were gross and degraded in a degree which +few of my readers can ever have imagined; and I should be unwilling to +offend the eye, and corrupt the heart of any one, by an account of +their words and actions. Few imaginations can conceive deeds so +abominable as they practised, and often required of some of the poor +women, under the fear of severe punishments, and even of death. I do +not hesitate to say with the strongest confidence, that although some +of the nuns became lost to every sentiment of virtue and honour, +especially one from the Congregational Nunnery whom I have before +mentioned, Saint Patrick, the greater part of them loathed the +practices to which they were compelled to submit by the Superior and +priests, who kept them under so dreadful a bondage. + +Some of the priests whom I saw I never knew by name, and the names of +others I did not learn for a time, and at last only by accident. + +They were always called "Mon pere," my father; but sometimes, when they +had purchased something in the ornament-room, they would give their +real names, with directions where it should be sent. Many names, thus +learnt, and in other ways, were whispered about from nun to nun, and +became pretty generally known. Several of the priests, some of us had +seen before we entered the Convent. + +Many things of which I speak, from the nature of the case, must +necessarily rest chiefly upon my own word, until further evidence can +be obtained: but there are some facts for which I can appeal to the +knowledge of others. It is commonly known in Montreal that some of the +priests occasionally withdraw from their customary employments, and are +not to be seen for some time, it being understood that they have +retired for religious study, meditation and devotion, for the +improvement of their hearts. Sometimes they are thus withdrawn from the +world for weeks: but there is no fixed period. + +This was a fact I knew before I took the veil; for it is a frequent +subject of remark, that such or such a Father is on a "holy retreat." +This is a term which conveys the idea of a religious seclusion from the +world for sacred purposes. On the re-appearance of the priest after +such a period, in the church or the streets, it is natural to feel a +peculiar impression of his devout character--an impression very +different from that conveyed to the mind of one who knows matters as +they really are. Suspicions have been indulged by some in Canada on +this subject, and facts are known by at least a few. I am able to speak +from personal knowledge: for I have been a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise. + +The priests are liable, by their dissolute habits, to occasional +attacks of disease, which render it necessary, or at least prudent, to +submit to medical treatment. + +In the Black Nunnery they find private accommodations, for they are +free to enter one of the private hospitals whenever they please; which +is a room set apart on purpose for the accommodation of the priests, +and is called a retreat-room. But an excuse is necessary to blind the +public, and this they find is the pretence that they make of being in a +"Holy Retreat." Many such cases I have known; and I can mention the +names of priests who have been confined in this Holy Retreat. They are +very carefully attended by the Superior and old nuns, and their diet +mostly consists of vegetable soups, &c., with but little meat, and that +fresh. I have seen an instrument of surgery laying upon the table in +that holy room, which is used only for particular purposes. + +Father Tabeau, a Roman priest, was on one of his holy retreats about +the time when I left the nunnery. There are sometimes a number confined +there at the same time. The victims of these priests frequently share +the same fate. + +I have often reflected how grievously I had been deceived in my opinion +of a nun's condition! All the holiness of their lives, I now saw, was +merely pretended. The appearance of sanctity and heavenly mindedness +which they had shown among us novices, I found was only a disguise to +conceal such practices as would not be tolerated in any decent society +in the world; and as for peace and joy like that of heaven, which I had +expected to find among them, I learnt too well that they did not exist +there. + +The only way in which such thoughts were counteracted, was by the +constant instructions given us by the Superior and priests, to regard +every doubt as a mortal sin. Other faults we might have, as we were +told over and over again, which, though worthy of penances, were far +less sinful than these. For a nun to doubt that she was doing her duty +in fulfilling her vows and oaths, was a heinous offence, and we were +exhorted always to suppress our doubts, to confess them without +reserve, and cheerfully to submit to severe penances on account of +them, as the only means of mortifying our evil dispositions, and +resisting the temptations of the devil. Thus we learnt in a good degree +to resist our minds and consciences, when we felt the first rising of a +question about the duty of doing any thing required of us. + +To enforce this upon us, they employed various means. Some of the most +striking stories told us at catechism by the priests, were designed for +this end. One of these, I will repeat. One day, as a priest assured us +who was hearing us say the catechism on Saturday afternoon, as one +Monsieur ----, a well-known citizen of Montreal, was walking near the +cathedral, he saw Satan giving orders to numerous evil spirits who had +assembled around him. Being afraid of being seen, and yet wishing to +observe what was done, he hid himself where he could observe all that +passed. Satan despatched his devils to different parts of the city, +with directions to do their best for him; and they returned in a short +time, bringing in reports of their success in leading persons of +different classes to the commission of various sins, which they thought +would be agreeable to their master. Satan, however, expressed his +dissatisfaction, and ordered them out again; but just then a spirit +from the Black Nunnery came, who had not been seen before, and stated +that he had been trying for seven years to persuade one of the nuns to +doubt, and had just succeeded. Satan received the intelligence with the +highest pleasure; and turning to the spirits around him, said: "You +have not half done your work--he has done much more than all of you." + +In spite, however, of our instructions and warnings, our fears and +penances, such doubts would intrude; and I have often indulged them for +a time, and at length, yielding to the belief that I was wrong in +giving place to them, would confess them, and undergo with cheerfulness +such new penances as I was loaded with. Others too would occasionally +entertain and privately express such doubts; though we all had been +most solemnly warned by the cruel murder of Saint Francis. Occasionally +some of the nuns would go further, and resist the restraints or +punishments imposed upon them; and it was not uncommon to hear screams, +sometimes of a most piercing and terrific kind, from nuns suffering +under discipline. + +Some of my readers may feel disposed to exclaim against me, for +believing things, which will strike them as so monstrous and +abominable. To such, I would say, without pretending to justify +myself--You know little of the position in which I was placed: in the +first place, ignorant of any other religions doctrines; and in the +second, met at every moment by some ingenious argument, and the example +of a large community, who received all the instructions of the priests +as of undoubted truth, and practised upon them. Of the variety and +speciousness of the arguments used, you cannot have any correct idea. +They were often so ready with replies, examples, anecdotes and +authorities, to enforce their doctrines, that it seemed to me they +could never have learnt it all from books, but must have been taught by +wicked spirits. Indeed, when I reflect upon their conversations, I am +astonished at their art and address, and find it difficult to account +for their subtlety and success in influencing my mind, and persuading +me to anything they pleased. It seems to me, that hardly anybody would +be safe in their hands. If you were to go to confession twice, I +believe you would feel very differently from what you do now. They have +such a way of avoiding one thing, and speaking of another, of affirming +this, and doubting or disputing that, of quoting authorities, and +speaking of wonders and miracles recently performed, in confirmation of +what they teach, as familiarly known to persons whom they call by name, +and whom they pretend to offer as witnesses, though they never give you +an opportunity to speak with them--these, and many other means, they +use in such away, that they always blinded my mind, and I should think, +would blind the minds of others. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in +Sleep--Amusements--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased +Nuns--Sudden disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new +one--Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with +other Nuns. + + +It will be recollected, that I was informed immediately after receiving +the veil, that infants were occasionally murdered in the Convent. I was +one day in the nuns' private sick room, when I had an opportunity, +unsought for, of witnessing deeds of such a nature. It was, perhaps, a +month after the death of Saint Francis. Two little twin babes, the +children of Sainte Catharine, were brought to a priest, who was in the +room, for baptism. I was present while the ceremony was performed, with +the Superior and several of the old nuns, whose names I never knew, +they being called Ma tante, Aunt. + +The priests took turns in attending to confession and catechism in the +Convent, usually three months at a time, though sometimes longer +periods. The priest then on duty was Father Larkin. He is a +good-looking European, and has a brother who is a professor in the +college. He baptized, and then put oil upon the heads of the infants, +as is the custom after baptism. They were then taken, one after +another, by one of the old nuns, in the presence of us all. She pressed +her hand upon the mouth and nose of the first, so tight that it could +not breathe, and in a few minutes, when the hand was removed, it was +dead. She then took the other, and treated it in the same way. No sound +was heard, and both the children were corpses. The greatest +indifference was shown by all present during this operation; for all, +as I well knew, were long accustomed to such scenes. The little bodies +were then taken into the cellar, thrown into the pit I have mentioned, +and covered with a quantity of lime. + +I afterward saw another new-born infant treated in the same manner, in +the same place; but the actors in the scene I choose not to name, nor +the circumstances, as everything connected with it is of a peculiarly +trying and painful nature to my own feelings. + +These were the only instances of infanticide I witnessed; and it seemed +to be merely owing to accident that I was then present. So far as I +know, there were no pains taken to preserve secrecy on this subject; +that is, I saw no attempt made to keep any of the inmates of the +Convent in ignorance of the murder of children. On the contrary, others +were told, as well as myself, on their first admission as veiled nuns, +that all infants born in the place were baptized and killed, without +loss of time; and I had been called to witness the murder of the three +just mentioned, only because I happened to be in the room at the time. + +That others were killed in the same manner during my stay in the +nunnery, I am well assured. + +How many there were I cannot tell, and having taken no account of those +I heard of, I cannot speak with precision; I believe, however, that I +learnt through nuns, that at least eighteen or twenty infants were +smothered, and secretly buried in the cellar, while I was a nun. + +One of the effects of the weariness of our bodies and minds, was our +proneness to talk in our sleep. It was both ludicrous and painful to +hear the nuns repeat their prayers in the course of the night, as they +frequently did in their dreams. Required to keep our minds continually +on the stretch, both in watching our conduct, in remembering the rules +and our prayers, under the fear of the consequences of any neglect, +when we closed our eyes in sleep, we often went over again the scenes +of the day; and it was no uncommon thing for me to hear a nun repeat +one or two of our long exercises in the dead of night. Sometimes, by +the time she had finished, another, in a different part of the room, +would happen to take a similar turn, and commence a similar recitation; +and I have known cases in which several such unconscious exercises were +performed, all within an hour or two. + +We had now and then a recreation day, when we were relieved from our +customary labor, and from all prayers except those for morning and +evening. The greater part of our time was then occupied with different +games, particularly backgammon and drafts, and in such conversation as +did not relate to our past lives, and the outside of the Convent. +Sometimes, however, our sports would be interrupted on such days by the +entrance of one of the priests, who would come in and propose that his +fete, the birth-day of his patron saint, should be kept by "the +saints." We saints! + +Several nuns died at different times while I was in the Convent; how +many I cannot say, but there was a considerable number: I might rather +say, many in proportion to the number in the nunnery. The proportion of +deaths I am sure was very large. There were always some in the nuns' +sick-rooms, and several interments took place in the chapel. When a +Black nun is dead, the corpse is dressed as if living, and placed in +the chapel in a sitting posture, within the railing round the altar, +with a book in the hand, as if reading. Persons are then freely +admitted from the street, and some of them kneel and pray before it. No +particular notoriety is given, I believe, to this exhibition out of the +Convent; but such a case usually excites some attention. + +The living nuns are required to say prayers for the delivery of their +deceased sister from purgatory, being informed, as in all other such +cases, that if she is not there, and has no need of our intercession, +our prayers are in no danger of being thrown away, as they will be set +down to the account of some of our departed friends, or at least to +that of the souls which have no acquaintances to pray for them. + +It was customary for us occasionally to kneel before a dead nun thus +seated in the chapel, and I have often performed that task. It was +always painful, for the ghastly countenance being seen whenever I +raised my eyes, and the feeling that the position and dress were +entirely opposed to every idea of propriety in such a case, always made +me melancholy. + +The Superior sometimes left the Convent, and was absent for an hour, or +several hours, at a time, but we never knew of it until she had +returned, and were not informed where she had been. I one day had +reason to presume that she had recently paid a visit to the priests' +farm, though I had no direct evidence that such was the fact. The +priests' farm is a fine tract of land belonging to the Seminary, a +little distance from the city, near the Lachine road, with a large +old-fashioned edifice upon it. I happened to be in the Superior's room +on the day alluded to, when she made some remark on the plainness and +poverty of her furniture. I replied, that she was not proud, and could +not be dissatisfied on that account; she answered-- + +"No; but if I was, how much superior is the furniture at the priests' +farm! the poorest room there is furnished better than the best of mine." + +I was one day mending the fire in the Superior's room, when a priest +was conversing with her on the scarcity of money; and I heard him say, +that very little money was received by the priests for prayers, but +that the principal part came with penances and absolutions. + +One of the most remarkable and unaccountable things that happened in +the Convent, was the disappearance of the old Superior. She had +performed her customary part during the day, and had acted and appeared +just as usual. She had shown no symptoms of ill health, met with no +particular difficulty in conducting business, and no agitation, anxiety +or gloom, had been noticed in her conduct. We had no reason to suppose +that during that day she had expected anything particular to occur, any +more than the rest of us. After the close of our customary labours, and +evening lecture, she dismissed us to retire to bed, exactly in her +usual manner. The next morning the bell rung we sprang from our bed, +hurried on our clothes as usual, and proceeded to the community-room in +double line, to commence the morning exercises. There, to our surprise, +we found Bishop Lartigue; but the Superior was nowhere to be seen. The +Bishop soon addressed us, instead of her, and informed us, that a lady +near him, whom he presented to us, was now the Superior of the Convent, +and enjoined upon us the same respect and obedience which we had paid +to her predecessor. + +The lady he introduced to us was one of our oldest nuns, Saint Du ----, +a very large, fleshy woman, with swelled limbs, which rendered her very +slow in walking, and often gave her great distress. Not a word was +dropped from which we could conjecture the cause of this change, nor of +the fate of the old Superior. I took the first opportunity to inquire +of one of the nuns, whom I dared talk to, what had become of her; but I +found them as ignorant as myself, though suspicious that she had been +murdered by the orders of the Bishop. Never did I obtain any light on +her mysterious disappearance. I am confident, however, that if the +Bishop wished to get rid of her privately and by foul means, he had +ample opportunities and power at his command. Jane Ray, as usual, could +not allow such an occurrence to pass by without intimating her own +suspicions more plainly than any other of the nuns would have dared to +do. She spoke out one day, in the community-room, and said, "I'm going +to have a hunt in the cellar for my old Superior." + +"Hush, Jane Ray!" exclaimed some of the nuns, "you'll be punished." + +"My mother used to tell me," replied Jane, "never to be afraid of the +face of a man." + +It cannot be thought strange that we were superstitious. Some were more +easily terrified than others, by unaccountable sights and sounds; but +all of us believed in the power and occasional appearance of spirits, +and were ready to look for them at almost any time. I have seen several +instances of alarm caused by such superstition, and have experienced it +myself more than once. I was one day sitting mending aprons, beside one +of the old nuns, in a community-room, while the litanies were +repeating; as I was very easy to laugh, Saint Ignace or Agnes, came in, +walked up to her with much agitation, and began to whisper in her ear. +She usually talked but little, and that made me more curious to know +what was the matter with her. I overheard her say to the old nun, in +much alarm, that in the cellar from which she had just returned, she +had heard the most dreadful groans that ever came from any being. This +was enough to give me uneasiness. I could not account for the +appearance of an evil spirit in any part of the Convent, for I had been +assured that the only one ever known there, was that of the nun who had +died with an unconfessed sin, and that others were kept at a distance +by the holy water that was rather profusely used in different parts of +the nunnery. Still, I presumed that the sounds heard by Saint Ignace +must have proceeded from some devil, and I felt great dread at the +thought of visiting the cellar again. I determined to seek further +information of the terrified nun; but when I addressed her on the +subject, at recreation-time, the first opportunity I could find, she +replied, that I was always trying to make her break silence, and walked +off to another group in the room, so that I could obtain no +satisfaction. + +It is remarkable that in our nunnery, we were almost entirely cut off +from the means of knowing anything, even of each other. There were many +nuns whom I know nothing of to this day, after having been in the same +rooms with them every day and night for many months. There was a nun, +whom I supposed to be in the Convent, and whom I was anxious to learn +something about from the time of my entrance as a novice; but I never +was able to learn anything concerning her, not even whether she was in +the nunnery or not, whether alive or dead. She was the daughter of a +rich family, residing at Point aux Trembles, of whom I had heard my +mother speak before I entered the Convent. The name of her family I +think was Lafayette, and she was thought to be from Europe. She was +known to have taken the black veil; but as I was not acquainted with +the name of the Saint she had assumed, and I could not describe her in +"the world," all my inquiries and observations proved entirely in vain. +I had heard before my entrance into the Convent, that one of the nuns +had made her escape from it during the last war, and, once inquired +about her of the Superior. She admitted that such was the fact; but I +was never able to learn any particulars concerning her name, origin, or +manner of escape. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupation in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of Wax Candles--The Election +Riots--Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances. + + +I am unable to say how many nuns disappeared while I was in the +Convent. There were several. One was a young lady called St. Pierre, I +think, but am not certain of her name. There were two nuns by this +name. I had known her as a novice with me. She had been a novice about +two years and a half before I became one. She was rather large without +being tall and had rather dark hair and eyes. She disappeared +unaccountably, and nothing was said of her except what I heard in +whispers from a few of the nuns, as we found moments when we could +speak unobserved. + +Some told me they thought she must have left the Convent; and I might +have supposed so, had I not some time afterward found some of her +things lying about, which she would, in such a case, doubtless have +taken with her. I never had known any thing more of her than what I +could observe or conjecture. I had always, however, the idea that her +parents or friends were wealthy, for she sometimes received clothes and +other things, which were very rich. + +Another nun, named Saint Paul, died suddenly; but as in other cases, we +knew so little, or rather were so entirely ignorant of the cause and +circumstances that we could only conjecture; and being forbidden to +converse freely on that or any other subject, thought but little about +it. I have mentioned that a number of veiled nuns thus mysteriously +disappeared during my residence among them. I cannot, perhaps, recall +them all, but I am confident there were as many as five, and I think +more. All that we knew in such cases was, that one of our number who +had appeared as usual when last observed, was nowhere to be seen, and +never was again. Mad Jane Ray, on several such occasions, would indulge +in her bold, and, as we thought, dangerous remarks. She had intimated +that some of those, who had been for a time in the Convent, were by +some means removed to make way for new ones; and it was generally the +fact, that the disappearance of one and the introduction of another +into our community, were nearly at the same time. I have repeatedly +heard Jane Ray say, with one of her significant looks, "When you +appear, somebody else disappears!" + +It is unpleasant enough to distress or torture one's self; but there is +something worse in being tormented by others, especially where they +resort to force, and show a pleasure in compelling you, and leave you +no hope of escape, or opportunity to resist. I had seen the gags +repeatedly in use, and sometimes applied with a roughness which seemed +rather inhuman; but it is one thing to see and another thing to feel. +There were some of the old nuns who seemed to take pleasure in +oppressing those who fell under their displeasure. They were ready to +recommend or resort to compulsory measures, and ever ready to run for +the gags. These were kept in one of the community-rooms, in a drawer +between two closets; and there a stock of about fifty of them was +always in deposite. Sometimes a number of nuns would prove refractory +at a time; and I have seen battles commenced in which several appeared +on both sides. The disobedient were, however, soon overpowered: and to +prevent their screams from being heard beyond the walls, gagging +commenced immediately. I have seen half a dozen lying, gagged and bound +at once. + +I have been subjected to the same state of involuntary silence more +than once; for sometimes I became excited to a state of desperation by +the measures used against me, and then conducted in a manner perhaps +not less violent than some others. My hands had been tied behind me, +and a gag put into my mouth, sometimes with such force and rudeness as +to lacerate my lips and cause the blood to flow freely. + +Treatment of this kind is apt to teach submission, and many times I +have acquiesced under orders received, or wishes expressed, with a fear +of a recurrence to some severe measures. + +One day I had incurred the anger of the Superior in a greater degree +than usual, and it was ordered that I should be taken to one of the +cells. I was taken by some of the nuns, bound and gagged, carried down +the stairs in the cellar, and laid upon the floor. Not long afterward I +induced one of the nuns to request the Superior to come down and see +me; and on making some acknowledgment I was released. I will, however, +relate this story rather more in detail. + +On that day I had been engaged with Jane Ray, in carrying into effect a +plan of revenge upon another person, when I fell under the vindictive +spirit of some of the old nuns, and suffered severely. The Superior +ordered me to the cells, and a scene of violence commenced which I will +not attempt to describe, nor the precise circumstances which led to it. +Suffice it to say, that after exhausting my strength, by resisting as +long as I could against several nuns, I had my hands drawn behind my +back, a leathern band passed first round my thumbs, then round my +hands, and then round my waist, and fastened. This was drawn so tight +that it cut through the flesh of my thumbs, making wounds, the scars of +which still remain. A gag was then forced into my mouth, not indeed so +violently as it sometimes was, but roughly enough; after which I was +taken by main force, and carried down into the cellar, across it almost +to the opposite extremity, and brought to the last of the second range +of cells on the left hand. The door was opened, and I was thrown in +with violence, and left alone, the door being immediately closed and +bolted on the outside. The bare ground was under me, cold and hard as +if it had been beaten down even. I lay still, in the position in which +I had fallen, as it would have been difficult for me to move, confined +as I was, and exhausted by my exertions; and the shock of my fall, and +my wretched state of desperation and fear, disinclined me from any +further attempt. I was in almost total darkness, there being nothing +perceptible except a slight glimmer of light which came in through the +little window far above me. + +How long I remained in that condition I can only conjecture. It seemed +to me a long time, and must have been two or three hours. I did not +move, expecting to die there, and in a state of distress which I cannot +describe, from the tight bandage about my hands, and the gag holding my +jaws apart at their greatest extension. I am confident I must have died +before morning, if, as I then expected, I had been left there all +night. By-and-by, however, the bolt was drawn, the door opened, and +Jane Ray spoke to me in a tone of kindness. She had taken an +opportunity to slip into the cellar unnoticed on purpose to see me. She +unbound the gag, and took it out of my mouth, and told me she would do +any thing to get me out of my dungeon. If she had had the bringing of +me down, she would not have thrust me so brutally, and she would be +revenged on those who had. She offered to throw herself upon her knees +before the Superior and beg her forgiveness. To this I would not +consent; but told her to ask the Superior to come to me, as I wished to +speak to her. This I had no idea she would condescend to do; but Jane +had not been gone long before the Superior came, and asked if I had +repented in the sight of God for what I had done. I replied in the +affirmative; and after a lecture of some length on the pain I had given +the Virgin Mary by my conduct, she asked whether I was willing to ask +pardon of all the nuns for the scandal I had caused them by my +behaviour. To this I made no objection; and I was then released from my +prison and my bonds, went up to the community-room, and kneeling before +all the sisters in succession begged the forgiveness and prayers of +each. + +Among the marks which I still bear of the wounds received from penances +and violence, are the scars left by the belt with which I repeatedly +tortured myself, for the mortification of my spirit. These are most +distinct on my side; for although the band, which was four or five +inches in breadth, and extended round the waist, was stuck full of +sharp iron points in all parts, it was sometimes crowded most against +my side, by rocking in my chair, and the wounds were usually deeper +there than anywhere else. + +My thumbs were several times cut severely by the tight drawing of the +band used to confine my arms, and the scars are still visible upon them. + +The rough gagging which I several times endured wounded my lips very +much; for it was common, in that operation, to thrust the gag hard +against the teeth, and catch one or both the lips, which were sometimes +cut. The object was to stop the screams made by the offender as soon as +possible; and some of the old nuns delighted in tormenting us. A gag +was once forced into my mouth which had a large splinter upon it, and +this cut through my under lip, in front, leaving to this day a scar +about half an inch long. The same lip was several times wounded, as +well as the other; but one day worse than ever, when a narrow piece was +cut off from the left side of it, by being pinched between the gag and +the under fore-teeth; and this has left an inequality in it which is +still very observable. + +One of the most shocking stories I heard of events that had occurred in +the nunnery before my acquaintance with it, was the following, which +was told me by Jane. What is uncommon, I can fix the date when I heard +it. It was on New-Year's day, 1834. The ceremonies, customary in the +early part of that day, had been performed; after mass, in the morning, +the Superior had shaken hands with all the nuns, and given us her +blessing, for she was said to have received power from heaven to do so +only once a year, and then on the first day of the year. Besides this, +cakes, raisins, &c. are distributed to the nuns on that day. + +While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the +cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation +with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our +practice often was, to take places there beside one of the old nuns, +awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while and leave +us partially screened from the observation of others. On that occasion, +Jane and I were left for a time alone; when after some discourse on +suicide, she remarked, that three nuns once killed themselves in the +Convent. This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I +knew, therefore, that it was several years before, for she had been +received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young +ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same +time, I am not certain which. I know they have four robes in the +Convent, to be worn during the ceremony of taking the veil; but I have +never seen more than one of them used at a time. + +Two of the new nuns were sisters, and the other their cousin. They had +been received but a few days, when information was given one morning +that they had been found dead in their beds, amid a profusion of blood. +Jane Ray said, she saw their corpses, and that they appeared to have +killed themselves, by opening veins in their arms with a knife they had +obtained, and all had bled to death together. What was extraordinary, +Jane Ray added, that she had heard no noise, and that she believed +nobody had suspected that any thing was wrong during the night. Saint +Hypolite, however, had stated, that she found them in the morning, +after the other nuns had gone to prayers, lying lifeless in their beds. + +For some reason or other, their death was not made public; but their +bodies, instead of being exhibited in full dress in the chapel, and +afterward interred with solemnity beneath it, were taken +unceremoniously into the cellar, and thrown into the hole I have so +often mentioned. + +There were a few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing +that was happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not +extend out of the city. I can recall but three occasions of this kind. +Two of them were when the cholera prevailed in Montreal; and the other +was the election riots. The appearance of the cholera, in both seasons +of its ravages, gave us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more +borne down by hard labor at those times, than ever before or afterward +during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax +candles would afford protection from the disease, because so long as +any person continued to burn one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for +him. No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance +in Montreal, than a long wax candle was lighted in the Convent for each +of the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially +illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were kept +constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured +by the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been +promulgated in the Grey Nunnery, the Congregational Nunnery, and to +Catholics at large, through the pulpits, an extraordinary demand was +created for wax candles, to supply which we were principally depended +upon. All who could be employed in making them were therefore set at +work, and I among the rest, assisted in different departments, and +witnessed all. + +Numbers of the nuns had been long familiar with the business; for a +very considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the +Convent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in +a great degree laid aside. Large quantities of wax were received in the +building, which was said to have been imported from England; kettles +were placed in some of the working-rooms, in which it was clarified by +heat over coal fires, and when prepared, the process of dipping +commenced. The wicks which were quite long, were placed hanging upon a +reel, taken up and dipped in succession, until, after many slow +revolutions of the reel, the candles were of the proper size. They were +then taken to a part of the room where tables were prepared for rolling +them smooth. This is done by passing a roller over them, until they +became even and polished, after which they are laid by for sale. These +processes caused a constant bustle in several of the rooms; and the +melancholy reports from without, of the ravages of the cholera, with +the uncertainty of what might be the result with us, notwithstanding +the promised intercession of the Virgin, and the brilliant lights +constantly burning in such numbers around us, impressed the scenes I +used to witness very deeply on my mind. I had very little doubt myself +of the strict truth of the story we had heard of the security conferred +upon those who burnt candles, and yet I sometimes had serious fears +arise in my mind. These thoughts, however, I did my utmost to regard as +great sins, and evidences of my own want of faith. + +It was during that period that I formed a partial acquaintance with +several Grey nuns, who used to come frequently for supplies of candles +for their Convent. I had no opportunity to converse with them, except +so far as the purchase and sale of the articles they required. I became +familiar with their countenances and appearances, but was unable to +judge of their characters or feelings. Concerning the rules and habits +prevailing in the Grey Nunnery; I therefore remained as ignorant as if +I had been a thousand miles off; and they had no better opportunity to +learn anything of us beyond what they could see around them in the room +where the candles were sold. + +We supplied the Congregational Nunnery also with wax candles, as I +before remarked; and in both those institutions, it was understood a +constant illumination was kept up. Citizens were also frequently +running in to buy candles, in great and small quantities, so that the +business of storekeeping was far more laborious than common. + +We were confirmed in our faith in the intercession of the Virgin, when +we found that we remained safe from the cholera; and it is a remarkable +fact, that not one case of that disease existed in the nunnery, during +either of the seasons in which it proved so fatal in the city. + +When the election riots prevailed in Montreal, the city was thrown into +general alarm; we heard some reports, from day to day, which made us +anxious for ourselves. Nothing, however, gave me any serious thoughts +until I saw uncommon movements in some parts of the nunnery, and +ascertained, to my own satisfaction, that there was a large quantity of +gunpowder stored in some secret place within the walls, and that some +of it was removed, or prepared for use, under the direction of the +Superior. + +I have mentioned several penances, in different parts of this +narrative, which we sometimes had to perform. There is a great variety +of them; and, while some, though trifling in appearance, became very +painful, by long endurance, or frequent repetition; others are severe +in their nature, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of +something worse, or a real belief in efficacy to remove guilt. I will +mention here such as I recollect, which can be named without offending +a virtuous ear; for some there were, which, although I have been +compelled to submit to, either by misled conscience, or the fear of +severe punishments, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, +and at liberty to act, I would not mention or describe. + +Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the +feet of the other nuns, is another: as are kneeling on hard peas, and +walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees +through the subterranean passage, leading to the Congregational +Nunnery; and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. +Sometimes we were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic +was given to me on this account, because I had a strong antipathy +against it. Eels were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt +an unconquerable repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard +of their feeding on dead carcasses, in the river St. Lawrence. It was +no uncommon thing for us to be required to drink the water in which the +Superior had washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand +ourselves with a hot iron, so as to leave scars; at other times to whip +our naked flesh with several small rods, before a private altar, until +we drew blood. I can assert, with the perfect knowledge of the fact, +that many of the nuns bear the scars of these wounds. + +One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms +extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The _Chemin de la +Croix_, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it +consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repetition of many +prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform +frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in +succession, at each time commemorating some particular act or +circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to the place of his +crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the +winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet; and sometimes to chew +a piece of window-glass to a fine powder, in the presence of the +Superior. + +We had sometimes to wear leathern belts stuck full of sharp metallic +points round our waists, and the upper part of our arms, bound on so +tight that they penetrated the flesh, and drew blood. + +Some of the penances was so severe, that they seemed too much to be +endured; and when they were imposed, the nuns who were to suffer them, +sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would often resist, +and still oftener express their opposition by exclamations and screams. + +Never, however, was any noise heard from them, for a long time for +there was a remedy always ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The +gag which was put into the month of the unfortunate Saint Francis, had +been brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of +different shapes and sizes. These I have seen in their depository, +which is a drawer between two closets, in one of the community-rooms. +Whenever any loud noise was made, one of these instruments was +demanded, and gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many +instances, and sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes +they would become so much excited before they could be bound and +gagged, that considerable force was necessary to be exerted; and I have +seen the blood flowing from months into which the gag had been thrust +with violence. + +Indeed I ought to know something on this department of nunnery +discipline: I have had it tried upon myself, and I can bear witness +that it is not only most humiliating and oppressive, but often +extremely painful. The month is kept forced open, and the straining of +the jaws at their utmost stretch, for a considerable time, is very +distressing. + +One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with +a cap; and yet some of the old nuns were permitted to inflict it at +their pleasure. I have repeatedly known them to go for a cap, when one +of our number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very +unimportant one. These caps were kept in a cupboard in the old nuns' +room, whence they were brought when wanted. + +They were small, made of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to +the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the +common practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her before the +cap was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by +any for one moment, without throwing them into severe sufferings. If +permitted, they would scream in a most shocking manner; and they always +writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can speak from +personal knowledge of this punishment, as I have endured it more than +once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined +one of the caps, nor saw the inside, for they are always brought and +taken away quickly; but although the first sensation was that of +coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and +indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more +insupportable; and this continued until it was removed. It would +produce such an acute pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think +no human being could endure it for an hour. After this punishment we +felt its effects through the system for many days. Having once known +what it was by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was +condemned to suffer the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to +avoid it. But when tied and gagged, with the cap on my head again, I +could only sink upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was +taken off. + +This was usually done in about ten minutes, sometimes less, but the +pain always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it +might take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I +had not been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I +have felt the effects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were +applied to my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine +my head, I cannot say more. + +This punishment was occasionally resorted to for very trifling +offences, such as washing the hands without permission; and it was +generally applied on the spot, and before the other nuns in the +community-room. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging. + + +I have mentioned before, that the country, as far down as Three Rivers, +is furnished with priests by the Seminary of Montreal; and that these +hundred and fifty men are liable to be occasionally transferred from +one station to another. Numbers of them are often to be seen in the +streets of Montreal, as they may find a home in the Seminary. + +They are considered as haying an equal right to enter the Black Nunnery +whenever they please; and then, according to our oaths, they have +complete control over the nuns. To name all the works of shame of which +they are guilty in that retreat, would require much time and space, +neither would it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which +is, the publication of but some of their criminality to the world, and +the development, in general terms, of scenes thus far carried on in +secret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate. + +Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an +eyewitness would ever escape to tell of their crimes, and declare some +of their names before the world; but the time has come, and some of +their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the +nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country +places, admitted for shameful and criminal purposes: from St. Charles, +St. Denis, St. Mark's St. Antoine, Chambly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c. + +How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I make! Shut up in a +place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, +and that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in +perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their +criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly than +even the brutes. These debauchees would come in without ceremony, +concealing their names, both by night and by day, where the cries and +pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the +world, for relief or redress for their wrongs; without remorse or +shame, they would glory in torturing, in the most barbarous manner, the +feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that +this mortifying of the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God. + +We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary sufferings in a +variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A +priest would sometimes say to us-- + +"Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin +through your cheeks?" + +Some of us would signify our readiness, and immediately thrust one +through up to the head. Sometimes he would propose that we should +repeat the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a +number of nuns would be bloody. + +There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I +cannot name in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to +perform; many of them things not only useless, and unheard of, but +loathsome and indecent in the highest possible degree. How they could +ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse +than the entire exposure of the person, though this was occasionally +required of several at once, in the presence of priests. + +The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that +he had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who +possessed the greatest devotion and faith, should be requested to +perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our +presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to +speak. I cannot repeat what would injure any ear, not debased to the +lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to +confess, that deluded women were found among us, who would comply with +those requests. + +There was a great difference between the characters of our old and new +Superior, which soon became obvious. The former used to say she liked +to walk, because it would prevent her from becoming corpulent. She was, +therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the +nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employments. I never +saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, +bold and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, cruel and +cold-blooded, in scenes calculated to overcome any common person. Such +a character she had exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis. + +The new Superior, on the other hand, was so heavy and lame, that she +walked with much difficulty, and consequently exercised a less vigilant +oversight of the nuns. She was also of a timid disposition, or else had +been overcome by some great fright in her past life; for she was apt to +become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark. +She had long performed the part of an old nun, which is that of a spy +upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, +under the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the +station of Superior, she appointed me to sleep in her apartment, and +assigned me a sofa to lie upon. One night while, I was asleep, she +suddenly threw herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alarm, "Oh! mon +Dieu! mon Dieu! Qu'est que ca?" Oh, my God! my God! What is that? I +jumped up and looked about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured +to convince her that there was nothing extraordinary there. But she +insisted that a ghost had come and held her bed-curtain, so that she +could not draw it. I examined it, and found that the curtain had been +caught by a pin in the valance, which had held it back; but it was +impossible to tranquillize her for some time. She insisted on my +sleeping with her the rest of the night, and I stretched myself across +the foot of her bed, and slept there till morning. + +During the last part of my stay in the Convent, I was often employed in +attending in the hospitals. There are, as I have before mentioned, +several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a physician of +Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be +supposed, however, that he knows anything concerning the private +hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly +understood, and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any +circumstances, admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he +sees nothing more than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care +of those patients who are admitted from the city into the public +hospital, and one of the nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every +day. Sick poor are received for charity by the institution, attended by +some of the nuns, and often go away with the highest ideas of their +charitable characters and holy lives. The physician himself might +perhaps in some cases share in the delusion. + +I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the +direction of the Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and +wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different +patients. These were afterwards prepared and administered by the +attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first +appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed +in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course, I had +opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated +there; and in what I am to say on the subject, I appeal with perfect +confidence to any true and competent witness to confirm, my words, +whenever such a witness may appear. + +It would be vain for any body who has merely visited the Convent from +curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations. +Such a person must necessarily be ignorant of even the existence of the +private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms however, +there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there +during the hours I was employed in them, as I have stated. + +One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare, +who, in going down-stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a +sick-room adjoining an hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her +head a part of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her +reason most of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was +delirious; but I considered her as speaking the truth, though I felt +reluctant to repeat what I heard her say, and excused myself from +mentioning it even at confession, on the ground that the Superior +thought her deranged. + +What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation, +was a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out +of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at +the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the +dark, for she could not bear it. "I have witnessed so many horrid +scenes," said she, "in this Convent, that I want somebody near me +constantly, and must always have a light burning in my room. I cannot +tell you," she added, "what things I remember, for they would frighten +you too much. What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder +have I witnessed; many a nice young creature has been killed in this +nunnery. I advise you to be very cautions--keep everything to +yourself--there are many here ready to betray you." + +What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me +I could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her +own crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I took +of her. She had been one of the night-watches, and never before showed +me any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail +concerning the transactions to which she alluded, but told me that some +nuns had been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being +gagged, and left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt +off their bones with red-hot irons. + +It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit +renders us insensible to the sufferings of others, and careless about +our own sins. I had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult +to rid myself of many of my former false principles and views of right +and wrong. + +I was one day set to wash some of the empty bottles from the cellar, +which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there. +A number of these had been brought from the corner where so many of +them were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar +stairs, and there we were required to take them and wash them out. We +poured in water and rinsed them; a few drops, which got upon our +clothes, soon made holes in them. I think the liquid was called +vitriol, or some such name; and I heard some persons say, that it would +soon destroy the flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another +time, we were furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed +with a quantity of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was +wanted at funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by +being dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed +with fresh water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a +bright red. + +The bottles of which I spoke were made of very thick, dark-coloured +glass, large at the bottom, and, from recollection, I should say held +something less than a gallon. + +I was once much shocked, on entering the room for the examination of +conscience, at seeing a nun hanging by a cord from a ring in the +ceiling, with her head downward. Her clothes had been tied round with a +leathern strap, to keep them in their place, and then she had been +fastened in that situation, with her head at some distance from the +floor. Her face had a very unpleasant appearance, being dark-coloured +and swollen by the rushing in of the blood; her hands were tied and her +mouth stopped with a large gag. This nun proved to be no other than +Jane Ray, who for some fault had been condemned to this punishment. + +This was not, however, a solitary case; I heard of numbers who were +"hung," as it was called, at different times; and I saw Saint Hypolite +and Saint Luke undergoing it. This was considered a most distressing +punishment; and it was the only one which Jane Ray could not endure, of +all she had tried. + +Some of the nuns would allude to it in her presence, but it usually +made her angry. It was probably practised in the same place while I was +a novice; but I never heard or thought of such a thing in those days. +Whenever we wished to enter the room for examination of conscience, we +had to ask leave; and after some delay were permitted to go, but always +under a strict charge to bend the head forward, and keep the eyes fixed +upon the floor. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders +in the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for +it--Plan--Deliberation--Attempt--Success. + + +I often seized an opportunity, when I safely could, to speak a cheering +or friendly word to one of the poor prisoners, in passing their cells, +on my errands in the cellars. For a time I supposed them to be sisters; +but I afterward discovered that this was not the case. I found that +they were always under the fear of suffering some punishment, in case +they should be found talking with a person not commissioned to attend +them. They would often ask, "Is not somebody coming?" + +I could easily believe what I heard affirmed by others, that fear was +the severest of their sufferings. Confined in the dark, in so gloomy a +place, with the long and spacious arched cellar stretching off this way +and that, visited now and then by a solitary nun, with whom they were +afraid to speak their feelings, and with only the miserable society of +each other; how gloomy thus to spend day after day, months, and even +years, without any prospect of liberation, and liable every moment to +any other fate to which the Bishop or Superior might condemn them! But +these poor creatures must have known something of the horrors +perpetrated in other parts of the building, and could not have been +ignorant of the hole in the cellar, which was not far from their cells, +and the use to which it was devoted. One of them told me, in +confidence, she wished they could get out. They must also have been +often disturbed in their sleep, if they ever did sleep, by the numerous +priests who passed through the trapdoor at no great distance. To be +subject to such trials for a single day would be dreadful; but these +nuns had them to endure for years. + +I often felt much compassion for them, and wished to see them released; +but at other times, yielding to the doctrine perpetually taught us in +the Convent, that our future happiness would be proportioned to the +sufferings we had to undergo in this world, I would rest satisfied that +their imprisonment was a real blessing to them. Others, I presume, +participated with me in such feelings. One Sunday afternoon, after we +had performed all our ceremonies, and were engaged as usual, at that +time, with backgammon and other amusements, one of the young nuns +exclaimed, "Oh, how headstrong are those wretches in the cells--they +are as bad as the day they were first put in!" + +This exclamation was made, as I supposed, in consequence of some recent +conversation with them, as I knew her to be particularly acquainted +with the older one. + +Some of the vacant cells were occasionally used for temporary +imprisonment. Three nuns were confined in them, to my knowledge, for +disobedience to the Superior, as she called it. They did not join the +rest in singing in the evening, being exhausted by the various +exertions of the day. The Superior ordered them to sing, and as they +did not comply, after her command had been twice repeated, she ordered +them away to the cells. + +They were immediately taken down into the cellar, placed in separate +dungeons, and the doors shut and barred upon them. There they remained +through that night, the following day, and second night, but were +released in time to attend mass on the second morning. + +The Superior used occasionally to show something in a glass box, which +we were required to regard with the highest degree of reverence. It was +made of wax, and called an Agnus Dei. She used to exhibit it to us when +we were in a state of grace; that is, after confession and before +sacrament. She said it had been blessed _in the very dish in which our +Saviour had eaten_. It was brought from Rome. Every time we kissed it, +or even looked at it, we were told it gave a hundred days release from +purgatory to ourselves, or if we did not need it, to our next of kin in +purgatory, if not a Protestant. If we had no such kinsman, the benefit +was to go to the souls in purgatory not prayed for. + +Jane Ray would sometimes say to me, "Let's kiss it--some of our friends +will thank us for it." + +I have been repeatedly employed in carrying dainties of different kinds +to the little private room I have mentioned, next beyond the Superior's +sitting-room, in the second story, which the priests made their "_Holy +Retreat_." That room I never was allowed to enter. I could only go to +the door with a waiter of refreshments, set it down upon a little stand +near it, give three raps on the door, and then retire to a distance to +await orders. When any thing was to be taken away, it was placed on the +stand by the Superior, who then gave three raps for me, and closed the +door. + +The Bishop I saw at least once when he appeared worse for wine, or +something of the kind. After partaking of some refreshments in the +Convent, he sent for all the nuns, and, on our appearance, gave us his +blessing, and put a piece of poundcake on the shoulder of each of us, +in a manner which appeared singular and foolish. + +There are three rooms in the Black Nunnery which I never entered. I had +enjoyed much liberty, and had seen, as I supposed, all parts of the +building, when one day I observed an old nun go to a corner of an +apartment near the northern end of the western wing, push the end of +her scissors into a crack in the panelled wall, and pull out a door. I +was much surprised, because I had never conjectured that any door was +there; and it appeared when I afterward examined the place, that no +indication of it could be discovered on the closest scrutiny. I stepped +forward to see what was within, and saw three rooms opening into each +other; but the nun refused to admit me within the door, which she said +led to rooms kept as depositories. + +She herself entered and closed the door, so that I could not satisfy my +curiosity; and no occasion presented itself. I always had a strong +desire to know the use of these apartments: for I am sure they must +have been designed for some purpose of which I was intentionally kept +ignorant, otherwise they would never have remained unknown to me so +long. Besides, the old nun evidently had some strong reasons for +denying me admission, though she endeavoured to quiet my curiosity. + +The Superior, after my admission into the Convent, had told me that I +had access to every room in the building; and I had seen places which +bore witness to the cruelties and the crimes committed under her +commands or sanction; but here was a succession of rooms which had been +concealed from me, and so constructed as if designed to be unknown to +all but a few. I am sure that any person, who might be able to examine +the wall in that place, would pronounce that secret door a surprising +piece of work. I never saw any thing of the kind which appeared to me +so ingenious and skilfully made. I told Jane Ray what I had seen, and +she said, at once, "We will get in and see what is in there." But I +suppose she never found an opportunity. + +I naturally felt a good deal of curiosity to learn whether such scenes, +as I had witnessed in the death of Saint Francis, were common or rare, +and took an opportunity to inquire of Jane Ray. Her reply was-- + +"Oh, yes; and there were many murdered while you was a novice, whom you +heard nothing about." + +This was all I ever learnt on the subject; but although I was told +nothing of the manner in which they were killed, I supposed it to be +the same which I had seen practised, viz. by smothering. + +I went into the Superior's parlour one day for something, and found +Jane Ray there alone, looking into a book with an appearance of +interest. I asked her what it was, but she made some trifling answer, +and laid it by, as if unwilling to let me take it. There are two +bookcases in the room; one on the right as you enter the door, and the +other opposite, near the window and sofa. The former contains the +lecture-books and other printed volumes, the latter seemed to be filled +with note and account books. I have often seen the keys in the +bookcases while I have been dusting the furniture, and sometimes +observed letters stuck up in the room; although I never looked into +one, or thought of doing so, as we were under strict orders not to +touch any of them, and the idea of sins and penances was always present +with me. + +Some time after the occasion mentioned, I was sent into the Superior's +room, with Jane, to arrange it; and as the same book was lying out of +the case, she said "Come, let us look into it." I immediately +consented, and we opened it, and turned over several leaves. It was +about a foot and a half long, as nearly as I can remember, a foot wide, +and about two inches thick, though I cannot speak with particular +precision, as Jane frightened me almost as soon as I touched it, by +exclaiming, "There you have looked into it, and if you tell of me, I +will of you." + +The thought of being subjected to a severe penance, which I had reason +to apprehend, fluttered me very much; and although I tried to overcome +my fears, I did not succeed very well. I reflected, however, that the +sin was already committed, and that it would not be increased if I +examined the book. I, therefore, looked a little at several pages, +though I still felt a good deal of agitation. I saw, at once, that the +volume was the record of the entrance of nuns and novices into the +Convent, and of the births that had taken place in the Convent. Entries +of the last description were made in a brief manner, on the following +plan: I do not give the names or dates as real, but only to show the +form of entering them. + + Saint Mary delivered of a son, March 16,1834. + Saint Clarice "daughter, April 2," + Saint Matilda "daughter, April, 80," + +No mention was made in the book of the death of the children, though I +well knew not one of them could be living at that time. Now I presume +that the period the book embraced, was about two years, as several +names near the beginning I knew; but I can form only a rough conjecture +of the number of infants born, and murdered of course, records of which +it contained. I suppose the book contained at least one hundred pages, +that one fourth were written upon, and that each page contained fifteen +distinct records. Several pages were devoted to the list of births. On +this supposition there must have been a large number, which I can +easily believe to have been born there in the course of two years. + +What were the contents of the other books belonging to the same case +with that which I looked into, I have no idea, having never dared to +touch one of them; I believe, however, that Jane Ray was well +acquainted with them, knowing, as I do, her intelligence and prying +disposition. If she could be brought to give her testimony, she would +doubtless unfold many curious particulars now unknown. + +I am able, in consequence of a circumstance which appeared accidental, +to state with confidence the exact number of persons in the Convent one +day of the week in which I left it. This may be a point of some +interest, as several secret deaths had occurred since my taking the +veil, and many burials had been openly made in the chapel. + +I was appointed, at the time mentioned, to lay out the covers for all +the inmates of the Convent, including the nuns in the cells. These +covers, as I have said before, were linen bands, to be bound around the +knives, forks, spoons, and napkins, for eating. These were for all the +nuns and novices, and amounted to two hundred and ten. As the number of +novices was then about thirty, I know that there must have been at that +time about one hundred and eighty veiled nuns. + +I was occasionally troubled with a desire of escaping from the nunnery, +and was much distressed whenever I felt so evil an imagination rise in +my mind. I believed that it was a sin, and did not fail to confess at +every opportunity, that I felt discontent. My confessors informed me +that I was beset by an evil spirit, and urged me to pray against it. +Still, however, every now and then, I would think, "Oh, if I could get +out!" + +At length one of the priests, to whom I had confessed this sin, +informed me, for my comfort, that he had begun to pray to Saint +Anthony, and hoped his intercession would, by-and-by, drive away the +evil spirit. My desire of escape was partly excited by the fear of +bringing an infant to the murderous hands of my companions, or of +taking a potion whose violent effects I too well knew. + +One evening, however, I found myself more filled with the desire of +escape than ever; and what exertions I made to dismiss the thought, +proved entirely unavailing. During evening prayers, I became quite +occupied with it; and when the time for meditation arrived, instead of +falling into a doze as I often did, although I was a good deal +fatigued, I found no difficulty in keeping awake. When this exercise +was over, and the other nuns were about to retire to the sleeping-room, +my station being in the private sickroom for the night, I withdrew to +my post, which was the little sitting-room adjoining it. + +Here, then, I threw myself upon the sofa, and, being alone, reflected a +few moments on the manner of escaping which had occurred to me. The +physician had arrived a little before, at half-past eight; and I had +now to accompany him, as usual, from bed to bed, with pen, ink, and +paper, to write down his prescriptions for the direction of the old +nun, who was to see them administered. What I wrote that evening, I +cannot now recollect, as my mind was uncommonly agitated; but my +customary way was to note down briefly his orders in this manner: + + 1 d salts, St. Matilde. + 1 blister, St. Geneviere, &c. &c. + +I remember that I wrote three such orders that evening, and then, +having finished the rounds, I returned for a few minutes to the +sitting-room. + +There were two ways of access to the street from those rooms: first, +the more direct, from the passage adjoining the sick-room, down stairs, +through a door, into the nunnery-yard, and through a wicket-gate; that +is the way by which the physician usually enters at night, and he is +provided with a key for that purpose. + +It would have been unsafe, however, for me to pass out that way, +because a man is kept continually in the yard, near the gate, who +sleeps at night in a small hut near the door, to escape whose +observation would be impossible. My only hope, therefore, was, that I +might gain my passage through the other way, to do which I must pass +through the sick-room, then through a passage, or small room, usually +occupied by an old nun; another passage and staircase leading down to +the yard, and a large gate opening into the cross street. I had no +liberty ever to go beyond the sick-room, and knew that several of the +doors might be fastened. Still, I determined to try; although I have +often since been astonished at my boldness in undertaking what would +expose me to so many hazards of failure, and to severe punishment if +found out. + +It seemed as if I acted under some extraordinary impulse, which +encouraged me to do what I should hardly at any other moment have +thought of undertaking. I had sat but a short time upon the sofa, +however, before I rose, with a desperate determination to make the +experiment. I therefore walked hastily across the sick-room, passed +into the nun's room, walked by her in a great hurry, and almost without +giving her time to speak or think, said--"A message!" and in an instant +was through the door and in the next passage. I think there was another +nun with her at the moment; and it is probable that my hurried manner, +and prompt intimation that I was sent on a pressing mission, to the +Superior, prevented them from entertaining any suspicion of my +intention. Besides, I had the written orders of the physician in my +hand, which may have tended to mislead them; and it was well known to +some of the nuns, that I had twice left the Convent and returned from +choice; so that I was probably more likely to be trusted to remain than +many of the others. + +The passage which I had now reached had several doors, with all which I +was acquainted; that on the opposite side opened into a community-room, +where I should probably have found some of the old inns at that hour, +and they would certainly have stopped me. On the left, however, was a +large door, both locked and barred; but I gave the door a sudden swing, +that it might creak as little as possible, being of iron. Down the +stairs I hurried, and making my way through the door into the yard, +stepped across it unbarred the great gate, and was at liberty! + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the +night--Disappointment--My first day opt of the +Convent--Solitude--Recollections, fears, and plans. + + +I have but a confused idea of the manner in which I got through some of +the doors; several of them, I am confident, were fastened, and one or +two I fastened behind me. [Footnote: Before leaving the nunnery +grounds, I ran round the end of the building, stood a moment in +hesitation whether I had not better return, then hastening back to the +other side, ran to the gate, opened it, and went out.] But I was now in +the street, and what was to be done next? I had got my liberty; but +where should I go? It was dark, I was in great danger, go which way I +would: and for a moment, I thought I had been unwise to leave the +Convent. If I could return unobserved, would it not be better? But +summoning resolution, I turned to the left, and ran some distance up +the street; then reflecting that I had better take the opposite +direction, I returned under the same Convent walls, and ran as fast +down to St. Paul's street, and turning up towards the north, exerted +all my strength, and fled for my life. It was a cold evening, but I +stopped for nothing, having recollected the house where I had been put +to board for a short time, by the priest Roque, when prepared to enter +the Convent as a novice, and resolved to seek a lodging there for the +night. Thither I went. It seemed as if I flew rather than ran. It was +by that time so dark, that I was able to see distinctly through the low +windows by the light within; and had the pleasure to find that she was +alone with her children. I therefore went boldly to the door, was +received with readiness, and entered to take up my lodging there once +more. + +Here I changed my nun's dress for one less likely to excite +observation; and having received a few dollars in addition to make up +the difference, I retired to rest, determined to rise early and take +the morning steamboat for Quebec. I knew that my hostess was a friend +of the Superior, as I have mentioned before, and presumed that it would +not be long before she would give information against me. I knew, +however, that she could not gain admittance to the Convent very early, +and felt safe in remaining in the house through the night. + +But after I had retired I found it impossible to sleep, and the night +appeared very long. In the morning early, I requested that a son of the +woman might accompany me to the steamboat, but learnt to my regret that +it would not go before night. Fearing that I might fall into the hands +of the priests, and be carried back to the nunnery, and not knowing +where to go, I turned away, and determined to seek some retired spot +immediately. I walked through a part of the city, and some distance on +the Lachine road, when finding a solitary place, I seated myself in +much distress of mind, fearful and anxious, beyond my power, of +description. I could not think myself safe anywhere in the +neighbourhood of Montreal; for the priests were numerous, and almost +all the people were entirely devoted to them. They would be very +desirous of finding me, and, as I believed, would make great exertions +to get me again in their hands. + +It was a pleasant spot where I now found myself; and as the weather was +not uncomfortable in the daytime, I had nothing to trouble me except my +recollections and fears. As for the want of food, that gave me not the +slightest uneasiness, as I felt no inclination whatever to eat. The +uncertainty and doubts I continually felt, kept me in a state of +irresolution the whole day. What should I do? Where should I go? I had +not a friend in the world to whom I could go with confidence; while my +enemies were numerous, and, it seemed to me, all around me, and ready +to seize me. I thought of my uncle, who lived at the distance of five +miles; and sometimes I almost determined to set off immediately for his +house. I had visited it often when a child, and had been received with +the utmost kindness. I remembered that I had been a great favourite of +his; but some considerations would arise which discouraged me from +looking for safety in that direction. The steamboat was to depart in a +few hours. I could venture to pass through the city once more by +twilight; and if once arrived at Quebec, I should be at a great +distance from the nunnery, in a large city, and among a larger +proportion of Protestant inhabitants. Among them I might find friends, +or, at least, some sort of protection; and I had no doubt that I could +support myself by labor. + +Then I thought again of the place I had left; the kindness and +sympathy, small though they were, which I had found in some of my late +companions in the Convent; the awful mortal sin I had committed in +breaking my vows; and the terrible punishment I should receive if taken +as a fugitive and carried back. If I should return voluntarily, and ask +to be admitted again: what would the Superior say, how would she treat +me? Should I be condemned to any very severe penance? Might I not, at +least, escape death? But then there was one consideration that would +now and then occur to me, which excited the strongest determination +never to return. I was to become a mother, and the thought of +witnessing the murder of my own child was more than I could bear. + +Purgatory was doubtless my portion; and perhaps hell for ever--such a +purgatory and hell as are painted in the Convent: but there was one +hope for me yet. + +I might confess all my deadly sins sometime before I died, and a Bishop +could pardon the worst of them. + +This was good Catholic doctrine, and I rested upon it with so much +hope, that I was not quite driven to despair. + +In reflections like these, I spent the whole day, afraid to stray from +the secluded spot to which I had retreated, though at different times +forming momentary plans to leave it, and go in various directions. I +ate not a morsel of food, and yet felt no hunger. Had I been well +provided, I could have tasted nothing in such a state of mind. The +afternoon wasted away, the sun set, and darkness began to come on: I +rose and set off again for the city. I passed along the streets +unmolested by any one; and reached it a short time before the boat was +ready to start. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to +land--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before +day--Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life. + + +Soon after we left the shore, the captain, whom I had previously seen, +appeared to recognise me. + +He came up and inquired if I was not the daughter of my mother, +mentioning her name. I had long been taught and accustomed to deceive; +and it may be supposed that in such a case I did not hesitate to deny +the truth, hoping that I might avoid being known, and fearing to be +defeated in my object. He however persisted that he knew me, and said +he must insist on my returning with him to Montreal, adding that I must +not leave his boat to land at Quebec. I said but little to him, but +intended to get on shore if possible, at the end of our journey--a +thing I had no doubt I might effect. + +When we reached Quebec, however I found, to my chagrin, that the +ladies' maid carefully locked the cabin-door while I was in, after the +ladies had left it, who were six or eight in number. + +I said little, and made no attempts to resist the restriction put upon +me; but secretly cherished the hope of being able, by watching an +opportunity, to slip on shore at tea-time, and lose myself among the +streets of the city. Although a total stranger to Quebec, I longed to +be at liberty there, as I thought I could soon place myself among +persons who would secure me from the Catholics, each of whom I now +looked upon as an enemy. + +But I soon found that my last hopes were blighted: the maid, having +received, as I presumed, strict orders from the captain, kept me +closely confined, so that escape was impossible. I was distressed, it +is true, to find myself in this condition; but I had already become +accustomed to disappointments, and therefore perhaps sunk less under +this new one, than I might otherwise have done. When the hour for +departure arrived, I was therefore still confined in the steamboat, and +it was not until we had left the shore that I was allowed to leave the +cabin. The captain and others treated me with kindness in every +respect, except that of permitting me to do what I most desired. I have +sometimes suspected, that he had received notice of my escape from some +of the priests, with a request to stop my flight, if I should go on +board his boat. His wife is a Catholic, and this is the only way in +which I can account for his conduct: still I have not sufficient +knowledge of his motives and intentions to speak with entire confidence +on the subject. + +My time passed heavily on board of the steamboat, particularly on my +passage up the river towards Montreal. My mind was too much agitated to +allow me to sleep, for I was continually meditating on the scenes I had +witnessed in the Convent, and anticipating with dread such as I had +reason to think I might soon be called to pass through. I bought for a +trifle while on board, I hardly know why, a small medallion with a head +upon it, and the name of Robertson, which I hung on my neck. As I sat +by day with nothing to do, I occasionally sunk into a doze for a few +minutes, when I usually waked with a start from some frightful dream. +Sometimes I thought I was running away from the priests, and closely +pursued, and sometimes had no hope of escape. But the most distressing +of my feelings were those I suffered in the course of the night. We +stopped some time at Berthier, where a number of prisoners were taken +on board, to be carried up the river; and this caused much confusion, +and added to my painful reflections. + +My mind became much agitated, worse than it had been before; and what +between waking fears, and sleeping visions, I spent a most wretched +night. Sometimes I thought the priests and nuns had me shut up in a +dungeon; sometimes they were about to make away with me in a most cruel +manner. Once I dreamed that I was in some house, and a coach came up to +the door, into which I was to be put by force; and the man who seized +me, and was putting me in, had no head. + +When we reached Montreal on Saturday morning, it was not daylight; and +the captain, landing, set off as I understood, to give my mother +information that I was in his boat. He was gone a long time, which led +me to conjecture that he might have found difficulty in speaking with +her; but the delay proved very favourable to me, for perceiving that I +was neither locked up nor watched, I hastened on shore, and pursued my +way into the city. I felt happy at my escape: but what was I then to +do? Whither could I go? Not to my mother: I was certain I could not +remain long with her, without being known to the priests. + +My friendlessness and utter helplessness, with the dread of being +murdered in the Convent, added to thoughts of the shame which must +await me if I lived a few months, made me take a desperate resolution, +and I hurried to put it into effect. + +My object was to reach the head of the Lachine Canal, which is near the +St. Lawrence, beyond the extremity of the southern suburbs. I walked +hastily along St. Paul's street, and found all the houses still shut; +then turning to the old Recollet Church, I reached Notre-Dame street, +which I followed in the direction I wished to go. + +The morning was chilly, as the season was somewhat advanced: but that +was of no importance to me. Day had appeared, and I desired to +accomplish the object on which I was now bent, before the light should +much increase. I walked on, therefore, but the morning had broken +bright before I arrived at the Canal; and then I found to my +disappointment that two Canadians were at work on the hank, getting +water, or doing something else. + +I was by the great basin where the boats start, and near the large +canal storehouse. I have not said what was my design; it was to drown +myself. + +Fearing the men would rescue me, I hesitated for some time, hoping they +would retire: but finding that they did not, I grew impatient. I stood +looking on the water; it was nearly on a level with the banks, which +shelved away, as I could perceive, for some distance, there being no +wind to disturb the surface. There was nothing in the sight which +seemed frightful or even forbidding to me; I looked upon it as the +means of the easiest death, and longed to be buried below. At length +finding that the men were not likely to leave the place, I sprung from +the bank, and was in an instant in the cold water. The shock was very +severe. I felt a sharp freezing sensation run through me, which almost +immediately rendered me insensible; and the last thing I can recollect +was, that I was sinking in the midst of water almost as cold as ice, +which wet my clothes, and covered me all over. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a +vagrant--Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it +to Mrs. McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New +York--Arrangements for going. + + +How long I remained in the canal I knew not; but in about three +minutes, as I conjectured, I felt a severe blow on my right side; and +opening my eyes I saw myself surrounded by men, who talked a great +deal, and expressed much anxiety and curiosity about me. They enquired +of me my name, where I lived, and why I had thrown myself into the +water: but I would not answer a word. The blow which I had felt, and +which was probably the cause of bringing me for a few moments to my +senses, I presume was caused by my falling, after I was rescued, upon +the stones, which lay thickly scattered near the water. I remember that +the persons around me continued to press me with questions, and that I +still remained silent. Some of them having observed the little +medallion on my neck, and being able to read, declared I was probably +the daughter of Dr. Robertson, as it bore the name; but to this, I also +gave no answer, and sunk again into a state of unconsciousness. + +When my senses once more returned, I found myself lying in a bed +covered up warm, in a house, and heard several persons talking of the +mass, from which they had just returned. I could not imagine where I +was, for my thoughts were not easily collected, and every thing seemed +strange around me. Some of them, on account of the name on the little +medallion, had sent to Dr. Robertson, to inform him that a young woman +had been prevented from drowning herself in the basin, who had a +portrait on her neck, with his family name stamped upon it; and he had +sent word, that although she could be no relation of his, they had +better bring her to his house, as he possibly might be able to learn +who she was. Preparations were therefore made to conduct me thither; +and I was soon in his house. This was about midday, or a little later. + +The doctor endeavored to draw from me some confession of my family: but +I refused; my feelings would not permit me to give him any +satisfaction. He offered to send me to my home if I would tell him +where I lived; but at length, thinking me unreasonable and obstinate, +began to threaten to send me to jail. + +In a short time I found that the latter measure was determined on, and +I was soon put into the hands of the jailer, Captain Holland, and +placed in a private room in his house. + +I had formerly been acquainted with his children, but had such strong +reasons for remaining unknown, that I hoped they would not recognise +me; and, as we had not met for several years I flattered myself that +such would be the case. It was, at first, as I had hoped; they saw me +in the evening, but did not appear to suspect who I was. The next +morning, however, one of them asked me if I were not sister of my +brother, mentioning his name; and though I denied it, they all insisted +that I must be, for the likeness, they said, was surprisingly strong. I +still would not admit the truth; but requested they would send for the +Rev. Mr. Esson, a Presbyterian clergyman in Montreal, saying I had +something to say to him. He soon made his appearance and I gave him +some account of myself and requested him to procure my release from +confinement, as I thought there was no reason why I should be deprived +of my liberty. + +Contrary to my wishes, however, he went and informed my mother. An +unhappy difference had existed between us for many years concerning +which I would not speak, were it not necessary to allude to it to +render some things intelligible which are important to my narrative. I +am willing to bear much of the blame: for my drawing part of her +pension had justly irritated her. I shall not attempt to justify or +explain my own feelings with respect to my mother, whom I still regard +at least in some degree as I ought. I will merely say, that I thought +she indulged in partialities and antipathies in her family during my +childhood; and that I attribute my entrance into the nunnery, and the +misfortunes I have suffered, to my early estrangement from home, and my +separation from the family. I had neither, seen her nor heard from her +in several years; and I knew not whether she had even known of my +entrance into the Convent, although I now learnt, that she still +resided where she formerly did. + +It was therefore with regret that I heard that my mother had been +informed of my condition; and that I saw an Irishwoman, an acquaintance +of hers, come to take me to the house. I had no doubt that she would +think I had disgraced her, by being imprisoned, as well as by my +attempt to drown myself; and what would be her feelings towards me, I +could only conjecture. + +I accompanied the woman to my mother's, and found nearly such a +reception as I had expected. Notwithstanding our mutual feelings were +much as they had been, she wished me to stay with her, and kept me in +one of her rooms for several weeks, and with the utmost privacy, +fearing that my appearance would lead to questions, and that my +imprisonment would become known. I soon satisfied myself that she knew +little of what I had passed through, within the few past years; and did +not think it prudent to inform her, for that would greatly have +increased the risk of my being discovered by the priests. We were +surrounded by those who went frequently to confession, and would have +thought me a monster of wickedness, guilty of breaking the most solemn +vows, and a fugitive from a retreat which is generally regarded there +as a place of great sanctity, and almost like a gate to heaven. I well +knew the ignorance and prejudices of the poor Canadians, and understood +how such a person as myself must appear in their eyes. They felt as I +formerly had, and would think it a service to religion, and to God, to +betray the place of my concealment if by chance they should find, or +even suspect it. As I had become in the eyes of Catholics, "a spouse of +Jesus Christ," by taking the veil, my leaving the Convent must appear +to them a forsaking of the Saviour. + +As things were, however, I remained for some time undisturbed. My +brother, though he lived in the house, did not know of my being there +for a fortnight. + +When he learnt it, and came to see me, he expressed much kindness +towards me: but I had not seen him for several years, and had seen so +much evil, that I knew not what secret motives he might have, and +thought it prudent to be reserved. I, therefore, communicated to him +nothing of my history or intentions, and rather repulsed his advances. +The truth is, I had been so long among nuns and priests, that I thought +there was no sincerity or virtue on earth. + +What were my mother's wishes or intentions towards me, I was not +informed: but I found afterwards, that she must have made arrangements +to have me removed from her house, for one day a woman came to the door +with a cariole, and on being admitted to see me, expressed herself in a +friendly manner, spoke of the necessity of air and exercise for my +health, and invited me to take a ride. I consented, supposing we should +soon return: but when we reached St. Antoine suburbs, she drove up to a +house which I had formerly heard to be some kind of refuge, stopped, +and requested me to alight. My first thought was, that I should be +exposed to certain detection, by some of the priests whom I presumed +officiated there; as they had all known me in the nunnery. I could not +avoid entering; but I resolved to feign sickness, hoping thus to be +placed out of sight of the priests. + +The result was according to my wishes: for I was taken to an upper +room, which was used as an infirmary, and there permitted to remain. +There were a large number of women in the house; and a Mrs. M'Donald, +who has the management of it, had her daughters in the Ursuline Nunnery +at Quebec, and her son in the college. The nature of the establishment +I could not fully understand: but it seemed to me designed to become a +nunnery at some future time. + +I felt pretty safe in the house; so long as I was certain of remaining +in the infirmary; for there was nobody there who had ever seen me +before. But I resolved to avoid, if possible, ever making my appearance +below, for I felt that I could not do it without hazard of discovery. + +Among other appendages of a Convent which I observed in that place, was +a confessional within the building, and I soon learnt, to my dismay, +that Father Bonin, one of the murderers of Saint Francis, was in the +habit of constant attendance as priest and confessor. The recollections +which I often indulged in of scenes in the Hotel Dieu, gave me +uneasiness and distress: but not knowing where to go to seek greater +seclusion, I remained in the infirmary week after week, still affecting +illness in the best manner I could. At length I found that I was +suspected of playing off a deception with regard to the state of my +health; and at the close of a few weeks, I became satisfied that I +could not remain longer without making my appearance below stairs. I at +length complied with the wishes I heard expressed, that I would go into +the community-room, where those in health were accustomed to assemble +to work, and then some of the women began to talk of my going to +confession. I merely expressed unwillingness at first; but when they +pressed the point, and began to insist, my fear of detection overcame +every other feeling, and I plainly declared that I would not go. This +led to an altercation, when the mistress of the house pronounced me +incorrigible, and said she would not keep me for a hundred pounds a +year. She, in fact, became so weary of having me there, that she sent +to my mother to take me away. + +My mother, in consequence, sent a cariole for me, and took me again +into her house; but I became so unhappy in a place where I was secluded +and destitute of all agreeable society, that I earnestly requested her +to allow me to leave Canada. I believe she felt ready to have me +removed to a distance, that she might not be in danger of having my +attempt at self-destruction, and my confinement in prison made public. + +There was a fact which I had not disclosed, and of which all were +ignorant: viz., that which had so much influence in exciting me to +leave the Convent, and to reject every idea of returning to it. + +When conversing with my mother about leaving Canada, I proposed to go +to New York. She inquired why I wished to go there. I made no answer to +that question: for, though I had never been there, and knew scarcely +anything about the place, I presumed that I should find protection from +my enemies, as I knew it was in a Protestant country. I had not thought +of going to the United States before, because I had no one to go with +me, nor money enough to pay my expenses; but then a plan presented +itself to my mind, by which I thought I might proceed to New York in +safety. + +There was a man who I presumed would wish to have me leave Canada, on +his own account; and that was the man I had so precipitately married +while residing at St. Denis. He must have had motives, as I thought, +for wishing me at a distance. I proposed therefore that he should be +informed that I was in Montreal, and anxious to go to the States; and +such a message was sent to him by a woman whom my mother knew. +[Footnote: Mrs. Tarbert, or M'Gan. See her affidavit. What house she +refers to I cannot conjecture.] She had a little stand for the sale of +some articles, and had a husband who carried on some similar kind of +business at the Scotch mountain. Through her husband, as I suppose, she +had my message conveyed, and soon informed me that arrangements were +made for my commencing my journey, under the care of the person to whom +it had been sent. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal +boat--Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat. + + +It is remarkable that I was able to stay so long in the midst of +Catholics without discovery, and at last obtain the aid of some of them +in effecting my flight. There is probably not a person in Montreal, who +would sooner have betrayed me into the power of priests than that +woman, if she had known my history. + +She was a frequent visitor at the Convent and the Seminary, and had a +ticket which entitled her every Monday to the gift of a loaf of bread +from the former. She had an unbounded respect for the Superior and the +priests, and seized every opportunity to please them. Now the fact that +she was willing to take measures to facilitate my departure from +Montreal, afforded sufficient evidence to me of her entire ignorance of +myself, in all respects in which I could wish her to be ignorant; and I +confided in her, because I perceived that she felt no stronger motive, +than a disposition to oblige my mother. + +Should any thing occur to let her into the secret of my being a +fugitive from the Black Nunnery, I knew that I could not trust to her +kindness for an instant. The discovery of that fact would transform her +into a bitter and deadly enemy. She would at once regard me as guilty +of mortal sin, an apostate, and a proper object of persecution. And +this was a reflection I had often reason to make, when thinking of the +numerous Catholics around me. How important, then, the keeping of my +secret, and my escape before the truth should become known, even to a +single person near me. + +I could realize, from the dangers through which I was brought by the +hand of God, how difficult it must be, in most cases, for a fugitive +from a nunnery to obtain her final freedom from the power of her +enemies. Even if escaped from a Convent, so long as she remains among +Catholics, she is in constant exposure to be informed against; +especially if the news of her escape is made public, which fortunately +was not the fact in my case. + +If a Catholic comes to the knowledge of any fact calculated to expose +such a person, he will think it his duty to disclose it at confession; +and then the whole fraternity will be in motion to seize her. + +How happy for me that not a suspicion was entertained concerning me, +and that not a whisper against me was breathed into the ear of a single +priest at confession! + +Notwithstanding my frequent appearance in the street, my removals from +place to place, and the various exposures I had to discovery, contrary +to my fears, which haunted me even in my dreams, I was preserved; and +as I have often thought, for the purpose of making the disclosures +which I have made in this volume. No power but that of God, as I have +frequently thought, could ever have led me in safety through so many +dangers. + +I would not have my readers imagine, however, that I had at that period +any thought of making known my history to the world. I wished to plunge +into the deepest possible obscurity; and next to the fear of falling +again into the hands of the priests and Superior, I shrunk most from +the idea of having others acquainted with the scenes I had passed +through. Such a thought as publishing never entered my mind till months +after that time. My desire was, that I might meet a speedy death in +obscurity, and that my name and my shame might perish on earth +together. As for my future doom, I still looked forward to it with +gloomy apprehensions: for I considered myself as almost, if not quite, +removed beyond the reach of mercy. During all the time which had +elapsed since I left the Convent, I had received no religious +instruction, nor even read a word in the scriptures; and, therefore, it +is not wonderful that I should still have remained under the delusions +in which I had been educated. + +The plan arranged for the commencement of my journey was this: I was to +cross the St. Lawrence to Longueil, to meet the man who was to +accompany me. The woman who had sent my message into the country, went +with me to the ferry, and crossed the river, where, according to the +appointment, we found my companion. He willingly undertook to accompany +me to the place of my destination, and at his own expense; but +declared, that he was apprehensive we should be pursued. To avoid the +priests, who he supposed would follow us, he took an indirect route, +and during about twelve days, or nearly that, which we spent on the +way, passed over a much greater distance than was necessary. It would +be needless, if it were possible, to mention all the places we visited. +We crossed Carpenter's ferry, and were at Scotch-mountain and St. +Alban's; arrived at Champlain by land, and there took the steamboat, +leaving it again at Burlington. + +As we were riding towards Charlotte, my companion entertained fears, +which, to me, appeared ridiculous; but it was impossible for me to +reason him out of them, or to hasten our journey. Circumstances which +appeared to me of no moment whatever, would influence, and sometimes +would make him change his whole plan and direction. As we were one day +approaching Charlotte, for instance, on inquiring of a person on the +way, whether there were any Canadians there, and being informed there +were not a few, and that there was a Roman Catholic priest residing +there, he immediately determined to avoid the place, and turned back, +although we were then only nine miles distant from it. + +During several of the first nights after leaving Montreal, he suffered +greatly from fear; and on meeting me in the morning, repeatedly said: +"Well, thank God, we are safe so far!" When we arrived at Whitehall, he +had an idea we should run a risk of meeting priests, who he thought, +were in search of us, if we went immediately on; and insisted that we +had better stay there a little time, until they should have passed. In +spite of my anxiety to proceed, we accordingly remained there about a +week; when we entered a canal-boat to proceed to Troy. + +An unfortunate accident happened to me while on our way. I was in the +cabin, when a gun, which had been placed near me, was started from its +place by the motion of the boat, caused by another boat running against +it, and striking me on my left side, threw me some distance. The shock +was violent, and I thought myself injured, but hoped the effects would +soon pass off. I was afterwards taken with vomiting blood; and this +alarming symptom several times returned; but I was able to keep up. + +We came without any unnecessary delay from Troy to New York, where we +arrived in the morning, either on Thursday or Friday, as I believe: but +my companion there disappeared without informing me where he was going, +and I saw him no more. Being now, as I presumed, beyond the reach of my +enemies, I felt relief from the fear of being carried back to the +nunnery, and sentenced to death or the cells: but I was in a large city +where I had not a friend. Feeling overwhelmed with my miserable +condition, I longed for death; and yet I felt no desire to make another +attempt to destroy myself. + +On the contrary, I determined to seek some solitary retreat, and await +God's time to remove me from a world in which I had found so much +trouble, hoping and believing that it would not be long. + +Not knowing which way to go to find solitude, I spoke to a little boy, +whom I saw on the wharf, and told, him I would give him some money if +he would lead me into the "_bush_". (This is the common word by which, +in Canada, we speak of the woods or forests.) When he understood what I +meant, he told me that there was no _bush_ about New York; but +consented to lead me to the most lonely place he knew of. He +accordingly set off, and I followed him, on a long walk to the upper +part of the city, and beyond, until we reached the outskirts of it. +Turning off from the road, we gained a little hollow, where were a few +trees and bushes, a considerable distance from any house; and there, he +told me, was the loneliest place with which he was acquainted. I paid +him for his trouble out of the small stock of money I had in my +possession, and let him go home, desiring him to come the next day, and +bring me something to eat, with a few pennies which I gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to +rain--Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the +Bellevue Almshouse. + + +There I found myself once more alone, and truly it was a great relief +to sit down and feel that I was out of the reach of priests and nuns, +and in a spot where I could patiently wait for death, when God might +please to send it, instead of being abused and tormented according to +the caprices and passions of my persecutors. + +But then again returned most bitter anticipations of the future. Life +had no attractions for me, for it must be connected with shame; but +death under any circumstances, could not be divested of horrors, so +long as I believed in the doctrines relating to it which had been +inculcated upon me. + +The place where I had taken up, as I supposed, my last earthly abode, +was pleasant in clear and mild weather; and I spent most of my time in +as much peace as the state of my mind would permit. I saw houses, but +no human beings, except on the side of a little hill near by, where +were some men at work, making sounds like those made in hammering +stone. The shade around me was so thick that I felt assured of being +sufficiently protected from observation if I kept still; and a cluster +of bushes offered me shelter for the night. As evening approached, I +was somewhat alarmed by the sound of voices near me, and I found that a +number of labourers were passing that way from their work. I went in a +fright to the thickest of the bushes, and lay down, until all again was +still, and then ventured out to take my seat again on the turf. + +Darkness now came gradually on; and with it fears of another +description. The thought struck me that there might be wild beasts in +that neighborhood, ignorant as I then was of the country; and the more +I thought of it, the more I became alarmed. I heard no alarming sound, +it is true; but I knew not how soon some prowling and ferocious beast +might come upon me in my defenceless condition, and tear me in pieces. +I retired to my bushes, and stretched myself under them upon the +ground: but I found it impossible to sleep; and my mind was almost +continually agitated by thoughts on the future or the past. + +In the morning the little boy made his appearance again, and brought me +a few cakes which he had purchased for me. He showed much interest in +me, inquired why I did not live in a house; and it was with difficulty +that I could satisfy him to let me remain in my solitary and exposed +condition. Understanding that I wished to continue unknown, he assured +me that he had not told even his mother about me; and I had reason to +believe that he faithfully kept my secret to the last. Though he lived +a considerable distance from my hiding-place, and, as I supposed, far +down in the city, he visited me almost every day, even when I had not +desired him to bring me any thing. Several times I received from him +some small supplies of food for the money I had given him. I once gave +him a half-dollar to get changed; and he brought me back every penny of +it, at his next visit. + +As I had got my drink from a brook or pool, which was at no great +distance, he brought me a little cup one day to drink out of; but this +I was not allowed to keep long, for he soon after told me that his +mother wanted it, and he must return it. He several times arrived quite +out of breath, and when I inquired the reason, calling him as I usually +did, "Little Tommy" he said it was necessary for him to run, and to +stay but a short time, that he might be at school in good season. Thus +he continued to serve me, and keep my secret, at great inconvenience to +himself, up to the last day of my stay in that retreat; and I believe +he would have done so for three months if I had remained there. I +should like to see him again and hear his broken English. + +I had now abundance of time to reflect on my lost condition; and many a +bitter thought passed through my mind, as I sat on the ground, or +strolled about by day, and lay under the bushes at night. + +Sometimes I reflected on the doctrines I had heard at the nunnery, +concerning sins and penances, Purgatory and Hell; and sometimes on my +late companions, and the crimes I had witnessed in the Convent. + +Sometimes I would sit and seriously consider how I might best destroy +my life; and sometimes would sing a few of the hymns with which I was +familiar; but I never felt willing or disposed to pray, as I supposed +there was no hope of mercy for me. + +One of the first nights I spent in that houseless condition was stormy; +and though I crept under the thickest of the bushes, and had more +protection against the rain than one might have expected, I was almost +entirely wet before morning; and, it may be supposed, passed a more +uncomfortable night than usual. The next day I was happy to find the +weather clear, and was able to dry my garments by taking off one at a +time, and spreading them on the bushes. A night or two after, however, +I was again exposed to a heavy rain, and had the same process afterward +to go through with: but what is remarkable, I took no cold on either +occasion; nor did I suffer any lasting injury from all the exposures I +underwent in that place. The inconveniences I had to encounter, also, +appeared to me of little importance, not being sufficient to draw off +my mind from its own troubles; and I had no intention of seeking a more +comfortable abode, still looking forward only to dying as soon as God +would permit, alone and in that spot. + +One day, however, when I had been there about ten days, I was alarmed +at seeing four men approaching me. All of them had guns, as if out on a +shooting excursion. They expressed much surprise and pity on finding me +there, and pressed me with questions. I would not give them any +satisfactory account of myself, my wants, or intentions, being only +anxious that they might withdraw. I found them, however, too much +interested to render me some service to be easily sent away; and after +some time, thinking there would be no other way, I pretended to go away +not to return. After going some distance, and remaining some time, +thinking they had probably left the place, I returned; but to my +mortification found they had concealed themselves to see whether I +would come back. They now, more urgently than before, insisted on my +removing to some other place, where I might be comfortable. They +continued to question me; but I became distressed in a degree I cannot +describe, hardly knowing what I did. At last I called the oldest +gentleman aside, and told him something of my history. He expressed +great interest for me, offered to take me anywhere I would tell him, +and at last insisted that I should go with him to his own house. All +these offers I refused; on which one proposed to take me to the +Almshouse, and even to carry me by force if I would not go willingly. + +To this I at length consented; but some delay took place, and I became +unwilling, so that with reluctance I was taken to that institution, +which was about half a mile distant. [Footnote: See the affidavit of +Mr. Hilliker, in Appendix. The letter to which he refers I had +forgotten to mention. It contains a short account of the crimes I had +witnessed in the nunnery, and was written on paper which "little Tommy" +had bought for me.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible. + +I was now at once made comfortable, and attended with kindness and +care. It is not to be expected in such a place, where so many poor and +suffering people are collected and duties of a difficult nature are to +be daily performed by those engaged in the care of the institution, +that petty vexations should not occur to individuals of all +descriptions. + +But in spite of all, I received kindness and sympathy from several +persons around me, to whom I feel thankful. + +I was standing one day at the window of the room number twenty-six, +which is at the end of the hospital building, when I saw a spot I once +visited in a little walk I took from my hiding-place. My feelings were +different now in some respects, from what they had been; for, though I +suffered much from my fears of future punishment, for the sin of +breaking my Convent vows, I had given up the intention of destroying my +life. + +After I had been some time in the Institution, I found it was reported +by some about me, that I was a fugitive nun; and it was not long after, +that an Irish woman, belonging to the Institution, brought me a secret +message, which caused me some agitation. + +I was sitting in the room of Mrs. Johnson, the matron, engaged in +sewing, when that Irish woman, employed in the Institution, came in and +told me that Mr. Conroy was below, and had sent to see me. I was +informed that he was a Roman priest, who often visited the house, and +he had a particular wish to see me at that time; having come, as I +believe, expressly for that purpose, I showed unwillingness to comply +with such an invitation, and did not go. The woman told me further, +that he sent me word that I need not think to avoid him, for it would +be impossible for me to do so. I might conceal myself as well as I +could, but I should be found and taken. No matter where I went, or what +hiding-place I might choose, I should be known; and I had better come +at once. He knew who I was; and he was authorized to take me to the +Sisters of Charity, if I should prefer to join them. He would promise +that I might stay with them if I chose, and be permitted to remain in +New York. He sent me word farther, that he had received full power and +authority over me from the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery of +Montreal, and was able to do all that she could do; as her right to +dispose of me at her will had been imparted to him by a regular writing +received from Canada. This was alarming information for me, in the +weakness in which I was at that time. The woman added, that the same +authority had been given to all the priests; so that, go where I might, +I should meet men informed about me and my escape, and fully empowered +to seize me wherever they could, and convey me back to the Convent, +from which I had escaped. + +Under these circumstances, it seemed to me that the offer to place me +among the Sisters of Charity, with permission to remain in New York, +was mild and favourable. However, I had resolution enough to refuse to +see the priest Conroy. + +Not long afterward, I was informed by the same messenger, that the +priest was again in the building, and repeated his request. I desired +one of the gentlemen connected with the Institution, that a stop might +be put to such messages, as I wished to receive no more of them. A +short time after, however, the woman told me that Mr. Conroy wished to +inquire of me whether my name was not St. Eustace while a nun, and if I +had not confessed to Priest Kelly in Montreal. I answered, that it was +all true; for I had confessed to him a short time while in the nunnery. +I was then told again that the priest wanted to see me, and I sent back +word that I would see him in the presence of Mr. Tappan, or Mr. +Stevens; which, however, was not agreed to; and I was afterwards +informed, that Mr. Conroy, the Roman priest, spent an hour in a room +and a passage where I had frequently been; but through the mercy of +God; I was employed in another place at that time, and had no occasion +to go where I should have met him. I afterwards repeatedly heard, that +Mr. Conroy continued to visit the house, and to ask for me; but I never +saw him. I once had determined to leave the Institution, and go to the +Sisters of Charity; but circumstances occurred which gave me time for +further reflection; and I _was saved from the destruction to which I +should have been exposed_. + +As the period of my accouchment approached, I sometimes thought that I +should not survive it; and then the recollection of the dreadful crimes +I had witnessed in the nunnery would come upon me very powerfully, and +I would think it a solemn duty to disclose them before I died. To have +a knowledge of those things, and leave the world without making them +known, appeared to me like a great sin: whenever I could divest myself +of the impression made upon me, by the declarations and arguments of +the Superior, nuns, and priests, of the duty of submitting to every +thing, and the necessary holiness of whatever the latter did or +required. + +The evening but one before the period which I anticipated with so much +anxiety, I was sitting alone, and began to indulge in reflections of +this kind. It seemed to me that I must be near the close of my life, +and I determined to make a disclosure at once. I spoke to Mrs. Ford, a +woman whose character I respected, a nurse in the hospital, in number +twenty-three. I informed her that I had no expectation of living long, +and had some things on my mind which I wished to communicate before it +should be too late. I added, that I should prefer to tell them to Mr. +Tappan, the chaplain, of which she approved, as she considered it a +duty to do so under those circumstances. I had no opportunity, however, +to converse with Mr. T. at that time, and probably my purpose, of +disclosing the facts already given in this book, would never have been +executed but for what subsequently took place. It was alarm which had +led me to form such a determination; and when the period of trial had +been safely passed, and I had a prospect of recovery, anything appeared +to me more likely than that I should make this exposure. + +I was then a Roman Catholic, at least a great part of my time; and my +conduct, in a great measure, was according to the faith and motives of +a Roman Catholic. Notwithstanding what I knew of the conduct of so many +of the priests and nuns, I thought that it had no effect on the +sanctity of the Church, or the authority or effects of the acts +performed by the former at the mass, confession, &c. I had such a +regard for my vows as a nun, that I considered my hand as well as my +heart irrevocably given to Jesus Christ, and could never have allowed +any person to take it. Indeed, to this day, I feel an instinctive +aversion to offering my hand, or taking the hand of another person, +even as an expression of friendship. I also thought that I might soon +return to the Catholics, although fear and disgust held me back. I had +now that infant to think for, whose life I had happily saved by my +timely escape from the nunnery; and what its fate might be, in case it +should ever fall into the power of the priests I could not tell. + +I had, however, reason for alarm. Would a child destined to +destruction, like the infants I had seen baptized and smothered, be +allowed to go through the world unmolested, a living memorial of the +truth of crimes long practised in security, because never exposed? What +pledges could I get to satisfy me, that I, on whom her dependence must +be, would be spared by those who I had reason to think were then +wishing to sacrifice me? How could I trust the helpless infant in hands +which had hastened the baptism of many such, in order to hurry them to +the secret pit in the cellar? Could I suppose that _Father Phelan, +Priest of the Parish Church of Montreal_, would see _his own child_ +growing up in the world, and feel willing to run the rink of having the +truth exposed? What could I expect, especially from him, but the utmost +rancor, and the most determined enmity against the innocent child and +its abased and defenceless mother? + +Yet, my mind would sometimes still incline in the opposite direction, +and indulge the thought, that perhaps the only way to secure heaven to +as both, was to throw ourselves back into the hands of the Church, to +be treated as she pleased. When, therefore, the fear of immediate death +was removed, I renounced all thoughts of communicating the substance of +the facts in this volume. It happened, however, that my danger was not +passed. I was soon seized with very alarming symptoms; then my desire +to disclose my story revived. + +I had before had an opportunity to speak in private with the chaplain; +but, as it was at a time when I supposed myself out of danger, I had +deferred for three days my proposed communication, thinking that I +might yet avoid it altogether. When my symptoms, however, became more +alarming, I was anxious for Saturday to arrive, the day which I had +appointed; and when I had not the opportunity on that day, which I +desired, I thought it might be too late. I did not see him till Monday, +when my prospects of surviving were very gloomy; and I then informed +him that I wished to communicate to him a few secrets, which were +likely otherwise to die with me. I then told him, that while a nun, in +the convent of Montreal, I had witnessed the murder of a nun, called +Saint Francis, and of at least one of the infants which I have spoken +of in this book. I added some few circumstances, and I believe +disclosed, in general terms, some of the other crimes I knew of in that +nunnery. + +My anticipations of death proved to be unfounded; for my health +afterward improved, and had I not made the confessions on that +occasion, it is very possible I never might have made them. I, however, +afterward, felt more willing to listen to instruction, and experienced +friendly attentions from some of the benevolent persons around me, who, +taking an interest in me on account of my darkened understanding, +furnished me with the Bible, and were ever ready to counsel me when I +desired it. + +I soon began to believe that God might have intended that his creatures +should learn his will by reading his word, and taking upon them the +free exercise of their reason, and acting under responsibility to him. + +It is difficult for one who has never given way to such arguments and +influences as those to which I had been exposed, to realize how hard it +is to think aright after thinking wrong. The Scriptures always affect +me powerfully when I read them; but I feel that I have but just begun +to learn the great truths, in which I ought to have been early and +thoroughly instructed. I realize, in some degree, how it is, that the +Scriptures render the people of the United States so strongly opposed +to such doctrines as are taught in the Black and the Congregational +Nunneries of Montreal. The priests and nuns used often to declare, that +of all heretics, the children from the United States were the most +difficult to be converted; and it was thought a great triumph when one +of them was brought over to "the true faith." The first passage of +Scripture that made any serious impression upon my mind, was the text +on which the chaplain preached on the Sabbath after my introduction +into the house--"Search the Scriptures." + +I made some hasty notes of the thoughts to which it gave rise in my +mind, and often recurred to the subject. Yet I sometimes questioned the +justice of the views I began to entertain, and was ready to condemn +myself for giving my mind any liberty to seek for information +concerning the foundations of my former faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the +priests--Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, +Burlington, St. Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at +Montreal--Reflections on passing the Nunnery, &c. + + +About a fortnight after I had made the disclosures mentioned in the +last chapter, Mr. Hoyt called at the Hospital to make inquiries about +me. I was introduced to him by Mr. Tappan. After some conversation, he +asked me if I would consent to visit Montreal, and give my evidence +against the priests and nuns before a court. I immediately expressed my +willingness to do so, on condition that I should be protected. It +immediately occurred to me, that I might enter the nunnery at night, +and bring out the nuns in the cells, and possibly Jane Ray, and that +they would confirm my testimony. In a short time, arrangements were +made for our journey, I was furnished with clothes; and although my +strength was but partially restored, I set off in pretty good spirits. + +Our journey was delayed for a little while, by Mr. Hoyt's waiting to +get a companion. He had engaged a clergyman to accompany us, as I +understood, who was prevented from going by unexpected business. We +went to Troy in a steamboat; and, while there, I had several interviews +with some gentlemen who were informed of my history, and wished to see +me. They appeared to be deeply impressed with the importance of my +testimony; and on their recommendation it was determined that we should +go to St. Alban's, on our way to Montreal, to get a gentleman to +accompany us, whose advice and assistance, as an experienced lawyer, +were thought to be desirable to us in prosecuting the plan we had in +view: viz. the exposure of the crimes with which I was acquainted. + +We travelled from Troy to Whitehall in a canal packet, because the easy +motion was best adapted to my state of health. We met on board the Rev. +Mr. Sprague of New York, with whom Mr. Hoyt was acquainted, and whom he +tried to persuade to accompany us to Montreal. From Whitehall to +Burlington we proceeded in a steamboat; and there I was so much +indisposed, that is was necessary to call a physician. After a little +rest, we set off in the stage for St. Alban's; and on arriving, found +that Judge Turner was out of town. We had to remain a day or two before +he returned; and then he said it would be impossible for him to +accompany us. After some deliberation, it was decided that Mr. Hunt +should go to Montreal with us, and that Judge Turner should follow and +join us there as soon as his health and business would permit. +[Footnote: Mr. Hunt was recommended as a highly respectable lawyer; to +whose kindness, as well as that of Judge Turner, I feel myself under +obligations.] + +We therefore crossed the lake by the ferry to Plattsburgh, where, after +some delay, we embarked in a steamboat, which took us to St. John's. +Mr. Hunt, who had not reached the ferry early enough to cross with us, +had proceeded on to ----, and there got on board the steamboat in the +night. We went on to Laprairie with little delay, but finding that no +boat was to cross the St. Lawrence at that place during the day, we had +to take another private carriage to Longeuil, whence we rowed across to +Montreal by three men, in a small boat. + +I had felt quite bold and resolute when I first consented to go to +Montreal, and also during my journey: but when I stepped on shore in +the city, I thought of the different scenes I had witnessed there, and +of the risks I might run before I should leave it. We got into a +caleche, and rode along towards the hotel where we were to stop. We +passed up St. Paul's street; and, although it was dusk, I recognised +every thing I had known. We came at length to the nunnery; and then +many recollections crowded upon me. First, I saw a window from which I +had sometimes looked at some of the distant houses in that street; and +I wondered whether some of my old acquaintances were employed as +formerly. But I thought if I were once within those walls, I should be +in the cells for the remainder of my life, or perhaps be condemned to +something still more severe. I remembered the murder of St. Francis, +and the whole scene returned to me as if it had just taken place; the +appearance, language, and conduct of the persons most active in her +destruction. Those persons were now all near me, and would use all +exertions they safely might, to get me again into their power. + +And certainly they had greater reason to be exasperated against me, +than against that poor helpless nun, who had only expressed a wish to +escape. [Footnote: My gloomy feelings however did not always prevail. I +had hope of obtaining evidence to prove my charges. I proposed to my +companions to be allowed to proceed that evening to execute the plan I +had formed when a journey to Montreal had first been mentioned. This +was to follow the physician into the nunnery, conceal myself under the +red calico sofa in the sitting-room, find my way into the cellar after +all was still, release the nuns from their cells, and bring them out to +confirm my testimony. I was aware that there were hazards of my not +succeeding, and that I must forfeit my life if detected--but I was +desperate; and feeling as if I could not long live in Montreal, thought +I might as well die one way as another, and that I had better die in +the performance of a good deed. I thought of attempting to bring out +Jane Ray--but that seemed quite out of the question, as an old nun is +commonly engaged in cleaning a community-room, through which I should +have to pass; and how could I hope to get into, and out of the +sleeping-room unobserved? I could not even determine that the +imprisoned nuns would follow me out--for they might be afraid to trust +me. However, I determined to try, and presuming my companions had all +along understood and approved my plan, told them I was ready to go at +once. I was chagrined and mortified more than I can express, when they +objected, and almost refused to permit me. I insisted and urged the +importance of the step--but they represented its extreme rashness. This +conduct of theirs, for a time diminished my confidence to them, +although everybody else has approved of it.] + +When I found myself safely in Goodenough's hotel, in a retired room, +and began to think alone, the most gloomy apprehensions filled my mind. +I could not eat, I had no appetite, and I did not sleep all night. +Every painful scene that I ever passed through seemed to return to my +mind; and such was my agitation, I could fix my thoughts upon nothing +in particular. I had left New York when the state of my health was far +from being established; and my strength, as may be presumed, was now +much reduced by the fatigue of travelling. I shall be able to give but +a faint idea of the feelings with which I passed that night, but must +leave it to the imagination of my readers. Now once more in the +neighborhood of the Convent, and surrounded by the nuns and priests, of +whose conduct I had made the first disclosures ever made, surrounded by +thousands of persons devoted to them, and ready to proceed to any +outrage, as I feared, whenever their interference might be desired, +there was abundant reason for my uneasiness. + +I now began to realize that I had some attachment to life remaining. +When I consented to visit the city, and furnish the evidence necessary +to lay open the iniquity of the Convent, I had felt, in a measure, +indifferent to life; but now, when torture and death seemed at hand, I +shrunk from it. For myself, life could not be said to be of much value. +How could I be happy with such things to reflect upon as I had passed +through? and how could I enter society with gratification? But my +infant I could not abandon, for who would care for it if its mother +died. + +I was left alone in the morning by the gentlemen who had accompanied +me, as they went to take immediate measures to open the intended +investigation. Being alone I thought of my own position in every point +of view, until I became more agitated than ever. I tried to think what +persons I might safely apply to as friends; and though still undecided +what to do, I arose, thinking it might be unsafe to remain any longer +exposed, as I imagined myself, to be known and seized by my enemies. + +I went from the hotel, [Footnote: It occurred to me, that I might have +been seen by some person on landing, who might recognise me if I +appeared in the streets in the same dress; and I requested one of the +female servants to lend me some of hers. I obtained a hat and shawl +from her with which I left the house. When I found myself in Notre Dame +street, the utmost indecision what to do, and the thought of my +friendless condition almost overpowered me.] hurried along, feeling as +if I were on my way to some asylum, and thinking I would first go to +the house where I had several times previously found a temporary +refuge. I did not stop to reflect that the woman was a devoted Catholic +and a friend to the Superior; but thought only of her kindness to me on +former occasions, and hastened along Notre Dame street. But I was +approaching the Seminary; and a resolution was suddenly formed to go +and ask the pardon and intercession of the Superior. Then the character +of Bishop Lartigue seemed to present an impassable obstacle; and the +disagreeable aspect and harsh voice of the man as I recalled him, +struck me with horror. I recollected him as I had known him when +engaged in scenes concealed from the eye of the world. The thought of +him made me decide not to enter the Seminary. I hurried, therefore, by +the door; and the great church being at hand, my next thought was to +enter there. I reached the steps, walked in, dipped my finger into the +holy water, crossed myself, turned to the first image I saw, which was +that of Saint Magdalen, threw myself upon my knees, and began to repeat +prayers with the utmost fervour. I am certain that I never felt a +greater desire to find relief from any of the Saints; but my agitation +hardly seemed to subside during my exercise, which continued, perhaps, +a quarter of an hour or more. I then rose from my knees, and placed +myself under the protection of St. Magdalen and St. Peter by these +words: "_Je me mets sous votre protection_"--(I place myself under your +protection;) and added, "_Sainte Marie, mere du bon pasteur, prie pour +moi_"--(Holy Mary, mother of the good shepherd, pray for me.) + +I then resolved to call once more at the house where I had found a +retreat after, my escape from the nunnery, and proceeded along the +streets in that direction. On my way, I had to pass a shop kept by a +woman [Footnote: This was Mrs. Tarbert.] I formerly had an acquaintance +with. She happened to see me passing, and immediately said, "Maria is +that you? Come in." + +I entered, and she soon proposed to me to let her go and tell my mother +that I had returned to the city. To this I objected. I went with her, +however, to the house of one of her acquaintances near by where I +remained some time, during which she went to my mother's and came with +a request from her, that I would have an interview with her, proposing +to come up and see me, saying that she had something very particular to +say to me. What this was, I could not with any certainty conjecture. I +had my suspicions that it might be something from the priests, designed +to get me back into their power, or, at least, to suppress my testimony. + +I felt an extreme repugnance to seeing my mother, and in the +distressing state of apprehension and uncertainty in which I was, could +determine on nothing, except to avoid her. I therefore soon left the +house, and walked on without any particular object. The weather was +then very unpleasant, and it was raining incessantly. To this I was +very indifferent, and walked on till I had got to the suburbs, and +found myself beyond the windmills. Then I returned, and passed back +through the city, still not recognised by anybody. + +I once saw one of my brothers, unless I was much mistaken, and thought +he knew me. If it was he, I am confident he avoided me, and that was my +belief at the time, as he went into a yard with the appearance of much +agitation. I continued to walk up and down most of the day, fearful of +stopping anywhere, lest I should be recognised by my enemies, or +betrayed into their power. I felt all the distress of a feeble, +terrified woman, in need of protection, and, as I thought, without a +friend in whom I could safely confide. It distressed me extremely to +think of my poor babe; and I had now been so long absent from it, as +necessarily to suffer much inconvenience. + +I recollected to have been told, in the New York Hospital, that +laudanum would relieve distress both bodily and mental, by a woman who +had urged me to make a trial of it. In my despair, I resolved to make +an experiment with it, and entering an apothecary's shop asked for +some. The apothecary refused to give me any; but an old man who was +there, told me to come in, and inquired where I had been, and what was +the matter with me, seeing that I was quite wet through. I let him know +that I had an infant, and on his urging me to tell more, I told him +where my mother lived. He went out, and soon after returned accompanied +by my mother, who told me she had my child at home, and pressed me to +go to her house and see it, saying she would not insist on my entering, +but would bring it out to me. + +I consented to accompany her; but on reaching the door, she began to +urge me to go in, saying I should not be known to the rest of the +family, but might stay there in perfect privacy. I was resolved not to +comply with this request, and resisted all her entreaties, though she +continued to urge me for a long time, perhaps half an hour. At length +she went in, and I walked away, in a state no less desperate than +before. Indeed, night was now approaching, the rain continued, and I +had no prospect of food, rest, or even shelter. I went on till I +reached the parade-ground, unnoticed, I believe, by anybody, except one +man, who asked where I was going, but to whom I gave no answer. I had +told my mother, before she had left me, that she might find me in the +parade-ground. There I stopped in a part of the open ground where there +was no probability of my being observed, and stood thinking of the many +distressing things which harassed me; suffering, indeed, from exposure +to wet and cold, but indifferent to them as evils of mere trifling +importance, and expecting that death would soon ease me of my present +sufferings. I had hoped that my mother would bring my babe to me there; +but as it was growing late, I gave up all expectation of seeing her. + +At length she came, accompanied by Mr. Hoyt, who, as I afterward +learnt, had called on her after my leaving the hotel, and, at her +request, had intrusted my child to her care. Calling again after I had +left her house, she had informed him that she now knew where I was, and +consented to lead him to the spot. I was hardly able to speak or to +walk, in consequence of the hardships I had undergone; but being taken +to a small inn, and put under the care of several women, I was made +comfortable with a change of clothes and a warm bed. [Footnote: I +afterward learnt, that the two gentlemen who accompanied me from the +States, had been seeking me with great anxiety all day. I persisted in +not going to my mother's, and that was the reason why we applied to +strangers for a lodging. For some time it appeared doubtful whether I +should find any refuge for the night, as several small inns in the +neighbourhood proved to be full. At length, however, lodgings were +obtained for me in one, and I experienced kindness from the females of +the house, who put me into a warm bed, and by careful treatment soon +rendered me more comfortable. I thought I heard the voice of a woman, +in the course of the evening, whom I had seen about the nunnery, and +ascertained that I was not mistaken. I forgot to mention, that, while +preparing to leave this house the next day, Mrs. Tarbert came in and +spoke with me. She said, that she had just come from the +government-house, and asked, "What are all those men at your mother's +for? what is going on there?" I told her I could not tell. She said, +"Your mother wants to speak with you very much." I told her I would not +go to her house, for I feared there was some plan to get me into the +hands of the priests. The inn in which I was, is one near the +government-house, in a block owned by the Baroness de Montenac, or the +Baroness de Longeuil, her daughter. I think it must be a respectable +house, in spite of what Mrs. Tarbert says in her affidavit. Mrs. +Tarbert is the woman spoken of several times in the "Sequel," without +being named; as I did not know how to spell her name till her affidavit +came out.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his +church--Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him. + + +In the morning I received an invitation to go to the house of a +respectable Protestant, an old inhabitant of the city, who had been +informed of my situation; and although I felt hardly able to move, I +proceeded thither in a cariole, and was received with a degree of +kindness, and treated with such care, that I must ever retain a lively +gratitude towards the family. + +On Saturday I had a visit from Dr. Robertson, to whose house I had been +taken soon after my rescue from drowning. He put a few questions to me, +and soon withdrew. + +On Monday, after the close of mass, a Canadian man came in, and entered +into conversation with the master of the house in an adjoining room. He +was, as I understood, a journeyman carpenter, and a Catholic, and +having heard that a fugitive nun was somewhere in the city, began to +speak on the subject in French. I was soon informed that Father Phelan +had just addressed his congregation with much apparent excitement about +myself; and thus the carpenter had received his information. Father +Phelan's words, according to what I heard said by numerous witnesses at +different times, must have been much like the following:-- + +"There is a certain nun now in this city, who has left our faith, and +joined the Protestants. She has a child, of which she is ready to swear +I am the father. She would be glad in this way to take away my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The devil has such a hold upon people now-a-days, that there is danger +that some might believe her story." + +Before he concluded his speech, as was declared, he burst into tears, +and appeared to be quite overcome. When the congregation had been +dismissed, a number of them came round him, and he told some of them, +that I was Antichrist; I was not a human being, as he was convinced, +but an evil spirit, who had got among the Catholics, and been admitted +into the nunnery, where I had learnt the rules so that I could repeat +them. My appearance, he declared, was a fulfilment of prophecy, as +Antichrist is foretold to be coming, in order to break down, if +possible, the Catholic religion. + +The journeyman carpenter had entered the house where I lodged under +these impressions, and had conversed some time on the subject, without +any suspicion that I was near. After he had railed against me with much +violence, as I afterwards learned, the master of the house informed him +that he knew something of the nun, and mentioned that she charged the +priests of the Seminary with crimes of an awful character; in reply to +which the carpenter expressed the greatest disbelief. + +"You can satisfy yourself," said the master of the house, "if you will +take the trouble to step up stairs: for she lives in my family." + +"I see her!" he exclaimed--"No, I would not see the wretched creature +for any thing. I wonder you are not afraid to have her in your +house--she will bewitch you all--the evil spirit!" + +After some persuasion, however, he came into the room where I was +sitting, but looked at me with every appearance of dread and curiosity; +and his exclamations, and subsequent conversation, in Canadian French, +were very ludicrous. + +"Eh bien," he began on first seeing me, "c'est ici la malheureuse?" +[Well, is this the poor creature?] But he stood at a distance, and +looked at me with curiosity and evident fear. I asked him to sit down, +and tried to make him feel at his ease, by speaking in a mild and +pleasant tone. He soon became so far master of himself, as to enter +into conversation. "I understood," said he, "that she has said very +hard things against the priests. How can that be true?" "I can easily +convince you," said I, "that they do what they ought not, and commit +crimes of the kind I complain of. You are married, I suppose?" He +assented. "You confessed, I presume, on the morning of your wedding +day?" He acknowledged that he did. "Then did not the priest tell you at +confession, that he had had intercourse with your intended bride, but +that it was for her sanctification, and that you must never reproach +her with it?" + +This question instantly excited him, but he did not hesitate a moment +to answer it. "Yes," replied he; "and that looks black enough." I had +put the question to him, because I knew the practice to which I alluded +had prevailed at St. Denis while I was there, and believed it to be +universal, or at least very common in all the Catholic parishes of +Canada. I thought I had reason to presume, that every Catholic, married +in Canada, had had such experience, and that an allusion to the conduct +of the priest in this particular, must compel any of them to admit that +my declarations were far from being incredible. This was the effect on +the mind of the simple mechanic; and from that moment he made no more +serious questions concerning my truth and sincerity, during that +interview. + +Further conversation ensued, in the course of which I expressed the +willingness which I have often declared, to go into the Convent and +point out things which would confirm, to any doubting person, the truth +of my heaviest accusations against the priests and nuns. At length he +withdrew, and afterwards entered, saying that he had been to the +Convent to make inquiries concerning me. He assured me that he had been +told that although I had once belonged to the nunnery, I was called St. +Jacques, and not St. Eustace; and that now they would not own or +recognize me. Then he began to curse me, but yet sat down, as if +disposed for further conversation. It seemed, as if he was affected by +the most contrary feelings, and in rapid succession. One of the things +he said, was to persuade me to leave Montreal. "I advise you," said he, +"to go away to-morrow." I replied that I was in no haste, and might +stay a month longer. + +Then he fell to cursing me once more: but the next moment broke out +against the priests, calling them all the names he could think of. His +passion became so high against them, that he soon began to rub himself, +as the low Canadians, who are apt to be very passionate, sometimes do, +to calm their feelings, when they are excited to a painful degree. +After this explosion he again became quite tranquil, and turning to me +in a frank and friendly manner, said: "I will help you in your measures +against the priests: but tell me, first--you are going to print a book, +are you not?" "No," said I, "I have no thoughts of that." + +Then he left the house again, and soon returned, saying he had been in +the Seminary, and seen a person who had known me in the nunnery, and +said I had been only a novice, and that he would not acknowledge me +now. I sent back word by him, that I would show one spot in the nunnery +that would prove I spoke the truth. Thus he continued to go and return +several times, saying something of the kind every time, until I became +tired of him. He was so much enraged once or twice during some of the +interviews, that I felt somewhat alarmed; and some of the family heard +him swearing as he went down stairs: "Ah, sacre--that is too black!" + +He came at last, dressed up like a gentleman, and told me he was ready +to wait on me to the nunnery. I expressed my surprise that he should +expect me to go with him alone, and told him I had never thought of +going without some protector, still assuring, that with any person to +secure my return, I would cheerfully go all over the nunnery, and show +sufficient evidence of the truth of what I alleged. + +My feelings continued to vary: I was sometimes fearful, and sometimes +so courageous as to think seriously of going into the Recollet church +during mass, with my child in my arms, and calling upon the priest to +own it. And this I am confident I should have done, but for the +persuasions used to prevent me. [Footnote: I did not make up my mind +(so far as I remember), publicly to proclaim who was the father of my +child, unless required to do so, until I learnt that Father Phelan had +denied it.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit +taken--Legal objection to it when taken. + + +Another person who expressed a strong wish to see me, was an Irish +milkman. He had heard, what seemed to have been pretty generally +reported, that I blamed none but the Irish priests. He put the +question, whether it was a fact that I accused nobody but Father +Phelan. I told him that it was not so; and this pleased him so well, +that he told me if I would stay in Montreal, I should have milk for +myself and my child as long as I lived. It is well known that strong +antipathies have long existed between the French and Irish Catholics in +the city. + +The next day the poor Irishman returned, but in a very different state +of mind. He was present at church in the morning, he said, when Father +Phelan told the congregation that the nun of whom he had spoken before, +had gone to court and accused him; and that he, by the power he +possessed, had struck her powerless as she stood before the judge, so +that she sunk helpless on the floor. He expressed, by the motion of his +hands, the unresisting manner in which she had sunk under the +mysterious influence, and declared that she would have died on the +spot, but that he had chosen to keep her alive that she might retract +her false accusion. This, he said, she did, most humbly, before the +court; acknowledging that she had been paid a hundred pounds as a bribe. + +The first words of the poor milkman, on revisiting me, therefore, were +like these: "That's to show you what power the priest has! Didn't he +give it to you in the court? It is to be hoped you will leave the city +now." He then stated what he had heard Father Phelan say, and expressed +his entire conviction of its truth, and the extreme joy he felt on +discovering, as he supposed he had, that his own priest was innocent, +and had gained such a triumph over me. + +A talkative Irish woman also made her appearance, among those who +called at the house, and urged for permission to see me. Said she, "I +have heard dreadful things are told by a nun you have here, against the +priests; and I have to convince myself of the truth. I want to see the +nun you have got in your house." When informed that I was unwell, and +not inclined at present to see any more strangers, she still showed +much disposition to obtain an interview. "Well, ain't it too bad," she +asked, "that there should be any reason for people to say such things +against the priests?" At length she obtained admittance to the room +where I was, entered with eagerness, and approached me. + +"Arrah," she exclaimed, "God bless you--is this you? Now sit down, and +let me see the child. And is it Father Phelan's, God bless you? But +they say you tell about murders; and I want to know if they are all +committed by the Irish priests." "Oh no," replied I, "by no means." +"Then God bless you," said she. "If you will live in Montreal, you +shall never want. I will see that neither you nor your child ever want, +for putting part of the blame upon the French priests. I am going to +Father Phelan, and I shall tell him about it. But they say you are an +evil spirit. I want to know whether it is so or not." "Come here," said +I, "feel me, and satisfy yourself. Besides, did you ever hear of an +evil spirit having a child?" + +I heard from those about me, that there was great difficulty in finding +a magistrate willing to take my affidavit I am perfectly satisfied that +this was owing to the influence of the priests to prevent my +accusations against them from been made public. One evening a lawyer, +who had been employed for the purpose, accompanied me to a French +justice with an affidavit ready prepared in English, for his signature, +and informed him that he wished him to administer to me the oath. +Without any apparent suspicion of me, the justice said, "Have you heard +of the nun who ran away from the Convent, and has come back to the +city, to bear witness against the priests?" "No matter about that now," +replied the lawyer hastily; "I have no time to talk with you--you will +take this person's oath now or not?" He could not read a word of the +document, because it was not in his own language, and soon placed his +signature to the bottom. It proved, however, that we had gained nothing +by this step, for the lawyer afterward informed us, that the laws +required the affidavit of a nun or minor to be taken before a superior +magistrate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections. + + +Those who had advised to the course to be pursued, had agreed to lay +the subject before the highest authorities. They soon came to the +conviction that it would be in vain to look for any favour from the +Governor, and resolved to lay it before the Attorney General as soon as +he should return from Quebec. After waiting for some time, he returned; +and I was informed, in a few days, that he had appointed an interview +on the following morning. I went at the time with a gentleman of the +city, to the house of Mr. Grant, a distinguished lawyer. In a short +time a servant invited us to walk up stairs, and we went; but after I +had entered a small room at the end of the parlour, the door was shut +behind me by Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General. A chair was given me, +which was placed with the back towards a bookcase, at which a man was +standing, apparently looking at the books; and besides the two persons +I have mentioned, there was but one more in the room, [Footnote: Unless +another was concealed--as I suspected.] Mr. Grant, the master of the +house. Of the first part of the interview I shall not particularly +speak. + +The two legal gentlemen at length began a mock examination of me, in +which they seemed to me to be actuated more by a curiosity no way +commendable, than a sincere desire to discover the truth, writing down +a few of my answers. In this, however, the person behind me took no +active part. One of the questions put to me was, "What are the colours +of the carpet in the Superior's room?" + +I told what they were, when they turned to him, and inquired whether I +had told the truth. He answered only by a short grunt of assent, as if +afraid to speak, or even to utter a natural tone; and at the same time, +by his hastiness, showed that he was displeased that my answer was +correct. I was asked to describe a particular man I had seen in the +nunnery, and did so. My examiner partly turned round with some remark +or question which was answered in a similar spirit. I turned and looked +at the stranger, who was evidently skulking to avoid my seeing him, and +yet listening to every word that was said. I saw enough in his +appearance to become pretty well satisfied that I had seen him before; +and something in his form or attitude reminded me strongly of the +person, whose name had been mentioned. I was then requested to repeat +some of the prayers used in the nunnery, and repeated part of the +office of the Virgin, and some others. + +At length, after I had been in the little room, as I should judge, +nearly an hour, I was informed that the examination had been +satisfactory, and that I might go. + +I then returned home; but no further step was taken by the Attorney +General, and he refused, as I understood, to return my affidavit, which +had been left in his hands to act upon. + +Besides the persons I have mentioned, I had interviews with numbers of +others. I learnt from some, that Father Phelan addressed his +congregation a second time concerning me, and expressly forbade them to +speak to me if they should have an opportunity, on pain of +excommunication. It was also said, that he prayed for the family I +lived with, that they might be converted. + +I repeated to several different persons my willingness to go into the +nunnery, and point out visible evidences of the truth of my statements; +and when I was told, by one man, who said he had been to the priests, +that I had better leave the city, or I would be clapped into prison, I +made up my mind that I should like to be imprisoned a little while, +because then, I thought I could not be refused a public examination. + +Some Canadians were present one day, when the mistress of the house +repeated, in my presence, that I was ready to go into the nunnery if +protected, and, if I did not convince others of the truth of my +assertions, that I would consent to be burned. + +"O yes, I dare say," replied one of the men--"the devil would take her +off--she knows he would. He would take care of her--we should never be +able to get her--the evil spirit!" + +A woman present said--"I could light the fire to burn you, myself." + +A woman of Montreal, who has a niece in the nunnery, on hearing of what +I declared about it, said that if it was true she would help tear it +down. + +Among those who came to see me, numbers were at first as violent as any +I have mentioned, but after a little conversation, became mild and +calm. I have heard persons declare, that it would be no harm to kill +me, as I had an evil spirit. + +One woman told me, that she had seen Father Phelan in the street, +talking with a man, to whom he said, that the people were coming to +tear down the house in which I stayed, intending afterward to set fire +to it in the cellar. This story gave me no serious alarm, for I thought +I could see through it evidence of an intention to frighten me, and +make me leave the city. [Footnote: I felt very confident, from some +circumstances, that this woman had been sent to bring such a story by +Father Phelan; and such evidence of his timidity rather emboldened me. +I was in another room when she came, and heard her talking on and +abusing me; then coming out, I said, "How dare you say I do not speak +the truth?" "God bless you," said she, "sit down and tell me all."] I +was under great apprehensions, however, one day, in consequence of an +accidental discovery of a plan laid to take me off by force. I had +stepped into the cellar to get an iron-holder, when I heard the voices +of persons in the street above, and recognised those of my mother and +the Irish woman her friend. There was another woman with them. + +"You go in and lay hold of her," said one voice. + +"No, you are her mother--you go in and bring her out--we will help you." + +I was almost overcome with dread of falling into their hands, believing +that they would deliver me up to the Superior. Hastening into a room, I +got behind a bed, told the lady of the house the cause of my fear, and +calling to a little girl to bring me my child, I stood in a state of +violent agitation. Expecting them in the house every instant, and +fearing my infant might cry, and so lead them to the place of my +concealment, I put my hand upon its mouth to keep it quiet. + +It was thought desirable to get the testimony of the mistress of the +house where I spent the night after my escape from the nunnery, as one +means of substantiating my story. I had been there the day before my +visit to the house of Mr. Grant, accompanied by a friend, and on my +first inquiring of her about my nunnery dress, she said she had carried +it to the Superior; speaking with haste, as if she apprehended I had +some object very different from what I actually had. It now being +thought best to summon her as a witness before a magistrate, and not +knowing her whole name, we set off again towards her house to make +inquiry. + +On our way we had to pass behind the parade. I suddenly heard an outcry +from a little gallery in the rear of a house which fronts another way, +which drew my attention. "There's the nun!" exclaimed a female, after +twice clapping her hands smartly together, "There's the nun, there's +the nun!" + +I looked up, and whom should I see but the Irishwoman, who had taken so +active a part, on several occasions in my affairs, on account of her +friendship for my mother--the same who had accompanied me to Longeuil +in a boat, when I set out for New York, after making arrangements for +my journey. She now behaved as if exasperated against me to the utmost; +having, as I had no doubt, learnt the object of my journey to Montreal +since I had last spoken with her, and having all her Catholic +prejudices excited. She screamed out: "There's the nun that's come to +swear against our dear Father Phelan. Arrah, lay hold, lay hold upon +her! Catch her, kill her, pull her to pieces." + +And so saying she hurried down to the street, while a number of women, +children, and some men, came running out, and pursued after me. I +immediately took to flight, for I did not know what they might do; and +she, with the rest, pursued us, until we reached two soldiers, whom we +called upon to protect us. They showed a readiness to do so; and when +they learnt that we were merely going to a house beyond, and intended +to return peaceably, consented to accompany us. The crowd, which might +rather be called a mob, thought proper not to offer us any violence in +the presence of the soldiers, and after following us a little distance, +began to drop off, until all had disappeared. One of the soldiers, +however, soon after remarked, that he observed a man following us, whom +he had seen in the crowd, and proposed that instead of both of them +going before us, one should walk behind, to guard against any design he +might have. This was done; and we proceeded to a house near the one +where I had found a refuge, and after obtaining the information we +sought, returned, still guarded by the soldiers. + +All our labour, in this, however, proved unavailing; for we were unable +to get the woman to appear in court. + +At length it was found impossible to induce the magistrates to do any +thing in the case; and arrangements were made for my return to New +York. While in the ferry-boat, crossing from Montreal to Laprairie, I +happened to be standing near two little girls, when I overheard, the +following conversation. + +"Why do you leave Montreal so soon?" + +"I had gone to spend a week or two; but I heard that Antichrist was in +the city, and was afraid to be there. So I am going right home. I would +not be in Montreal while Antichrist is there. He has come to destroy +the Catholic religion." I felt quite happy when I found myself once +more safe in New York; and it has only been since my return from +Montreal, and the conviction I had there formed, that it was in vain +for me to attempt to get a fair investigation into the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, that I seriously thought of publishing a book. Under some +disadvantages this volume has been prepared, and unfortunately its +publication has been delayed to a season when it will be difficult to +transmit it promptly to all parts of the country. I am sure, however, +that in spite of all, no material errors will be found in it +uncorrected, though many, very many, facts and circumstances might have +been added which would have proved interesting. Indeed I am persuaded, +from the experience I have already had, that past scenes, before +forgotten, will continue to return to my memory, the longer I dwell +upon my convent life, and that many of these will tend to confirm, +explain, or illustrate some of the statements now before the public. + +But before I close this volume, I must be indulged in saying a word of +myself. The narrative through which the reader has now passed, he must +not close and lay aside as if it were a fiction; neither would I wish +him to forget the subject of it as one worthy only to excite surprise +and wonder for a moment. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +It is desired that the author of this volume may be regarded, not as a +voluntary participator in the very guilty transactions which are +described; but receive sympathy for the trials which she has endured, +and the peculiar situation in which her past experience, and escape +from the power of the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, +and the snares of the Roman priests in Canada, have left her. + +My feelings are frequently distressed, and agitated, by the +recollection of what I have passed through; and by night, and by day, I +have little peace of mind, and few periods of calm and pleasant +reflection. Futurity also appears uncertain. I know not what reception +this little work may meet with; and what will be the effect of its +publication here, or in Canada, among strangers, friends, or enemies. I +have given the world the truth, so far as I have gone, on subjects of +which I am told they are generally ignorant; and I feel perfect +confidence, that any facts which may yet be discovered, will confirm my +words, whenever they can be obtained. Whoever shall explore the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, will find unquestionable evidence that the +descriptions of the interior of that edifice, given in this book, were +furnished by one familiar with them; for whatever alterations may be +attempted, there are changes which no mason or carpenter can make and +effectually conceal; and therefore, there must be plentiful evidence in +that institution of the truth of my description. + +There are living witnesses, also, who ought to be made to speak, +without fear of penances, tortures, and death; and possibly their +testimony, at some future time, may be added to confirm my statements. +There are witnesses I should greatly rejoice to see at liberty; or +rather there _were_. Are they living now? or will they be permitted to +live after the Priests and Superior have seen this book? Perhaps the +wretched nuns in the cells have already suffered for my sake--perhaps +Jane Ray has been silenced for ever, or will be murdered, before she +has an opportunity to add her most important testimony to mine. + +But speedy death, in respect only to this world, can be no great +calamity to those who lead the life of a nun. The mere recollection of +it always makes me miserable. It would distress the reader, should I +repeat the dreams with which I am often terrified at night; for I +sometimes fancy myself pursued by my worst enemies; frequently I seem +as if shut up again in the Convent; often I imagine myself present at +the repetition of the worst scenes that I have hinted at or described. +Sometimes I stand by the secret place of interment in the cellar; +sometimes I think I can hear the shrieks of helpless females in the +hands of atrocious men; and sometimes almost seem actually to look +again upon the calm and placid countenance of Saint Francis, as she +appeared when surrounded by her murderers. + +I cannot banish the scenes and characters of this book from my memory. +To me it can never appear like an amusing fable, or lose its interest +and importance, the story is one which is continually before me, and +must return fresh to my mind, with painful emotions, as long as I live. +With time, and Christian instruction, and the sympathy and example of +the wise and good, I hope to learn submissively to bear whatever trials +are appointed for me, and to improve under them all. + +Impressed as I continually am with the frightful reality of the painful +communications that I have made in this volume, I can only offer to all +persons who may doubt or disbelieve my statements, these two things:-- + +Permit me to go through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, with some +impartial ladies and gentlemen, that they may compare my account with +the interior parts of that building, into which no persons but the +Roman Bishop and the priests, [Footnote: I should have added, and such +persons as they introduce.] are ever admitted; and if they do not find +my description true, then discard me as an impostor. Bring me before a +court of justice--there I am willing to meet _Lartigue, Dufresne, +Phelan, Bonin_, and _Richards_, and their wicked companions, with the +Superior, and any of the nuns, before ten thousand men. + +MARIA MONK. + +_New York, 11th January, 1836._ + + + + +THE TRUTH + +of the + +"AWFUL DISCLOSURES BY MARIA MONK" + +DEMONSTRATED. + +1. _Early means used to discredit the took. Different of +objectors_.--It was anticipated that persons who know little or nothing +of the changeless spirit and uniform practices of the Papal +ecclesiastics, would doubt or deny the statements which Maria Monk has +given of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. The delineations, if true, +are so loathsome and revolting, that they exhibit the principles of the +Roman priesthood, and the corruption of the monastic system, as +combining a social curse, which must be extinguished for the welfare of +mankind. + +From the period when the intimations were first published in the +Protestant Vindicator, that a Nun had escaped from one of the Convents +in Canada, and that a narrative of the secrets of that prison-house for +females was preparing for the press; attempts have occasionally been +made to prejudice the public judgment, by fulsome eulogies of the Roman +Priests and Nuns, as paragons of immaculate perfection; and also by +infuriated denunciations and calumnies of all persons, who seriously +believe that every human institution which directly violates the +constitution of nature, and the express commands of God, must +necessarily be immoral. + +The system of seclusion and celibacy adopted in Convents is altogether +unnatural, and subverts all the appointments of Jehovah in reference to +the duties and usefulness of man; while the impenetrable secrecy, which +is the cement of the gloomy superstructure, not only extirpates every +incentive to active virtue, but unavoidably opens the flood-gates of +wickedness, without restraint or remorse, because it secures entire +impunity. + +Since the publication of the "Awful Disclosures," much solicitude has +been felt for the result of the exhibitions which they present us: but +it is most remarkable, that the incredulity is confined almost +exclusively to Protestants, or at least, to those who pretend not to be +Papists. The Roman Priests are too crafty to engage directly in any +controversy respecting the credibility of Maria Monk's narrative. As +long as they can induce the Roman Catholics privately to deny the +statements, and to vilify Christians as the inventors of falsehoods +concerning "the Holy Church and the Holy Priests!" so long will they +laugh at the censures of the Protestants; and as long as they can +influence the Editors of political papers vociferously to deny +evangelical truth, and to decry every attempt to discover the secrets +of the Romish priestcraft as false and uncharitable, so long will the +Jesuits ridicule and despise that incredulity which is at once so +blinding, deceitful, and dangerous. + +The volume entitled "Awful Disclosures by Maria Monk," has been +assailed by two classes of Objectors. Some persons affirm that they +cannot, and that they will not believe her narrative, because it is so +improbable. Who is to judge of the standard of improbabilities? +Assuredly not they who are ignorant of the whole subject to which those +improbabilities advert. Now it is certain, that persons who are +acquainted with Popery, are generally convinced, and readily agree, +that Maria Monk's narrative, is very much assimilated to the abstract +view which a sound judgment, enlightened by the Holy Scriptures, would +form of that antichristian system, as predicted by the prophet Daniel, +and the apostles, Peter, Paul, and John. + +2. _The question of Probability_.--But the question of probabilities +may be tested by another fact; and that is the full, unshaken +conviction, and the serious declaration of many persons who have lived +in Canada, that Maria Monk's allegations against the Roman Priests and +Nuns in that province, are precisely the counterpart of their ordinary +character, spirit, and practice. There are many persons now residing in +the city of New York, who long dwelt in Montreal and Quebec; and who +are thoroughly acquainted with the situation of affairs among the +Canadian Papists--and such of them as are known, with scarcely a +dissenting voice, proclaim the same facts which every traveller, who +has any discernment or curiosity, learns when he makes the northern +summer tour. It is also indubitable, that intelligent persons in Canada +generally, especially residents in Montreal and Quebec, who have no +inducement either to falsify or to conceal the truth, uniformly +testify, that the nunneries in those cities are notorious places of +resort for the Roman Priests for habitual and unrestrained +licentiousness; that, upon the payment of the stipulated price to the +Chaplain, other persons, in the disguise of Priests, are regularly +admitted within the Convents for the same infamous purpose; and that +many Infants and Nuns, in proportion to the aggregate amount of the +whole body of females, are annually murdered and buried within their +precincts. All this turpitude is as assuredly believed by the vast +majority of the enlightened Protestants, as well as by multitudes of +even the Papists in Montreal and Quebec, as their own existence; and +judging from their declarations, they have no more doubt of the fact, +than they have of the summer's sunshine, and the winter's frost and +snow. Of what value, therefore, is the cavil of ignorance respecting +improbabilities? + +But it is also objected, that the British government would not tolerate +such a system of enormous wickedness. To which it is replied, that the +inordinate licentiousness of the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +demonstrated to be of long standing by the archives of that Province, +as may be seen in Smith's History of Canada; year 1733, Chapter 5, p. +194. + +The author of that work is Secretary of the Province; and his narrative +was compiled immediately from the public documents, which are under his +official guardianship and control. He thus writes:--"The irregularities +and improper conduct of the Nuns of the General Hospital had been the +subject of much regret and anxiety. Contrary to every principle of +their institution, they frequently accepted of invitations to dinners +and suppers, and mixed in society, without considering the vows which +restricted them to their Convent. The king of France directed a letter, +Maurepas' letter of April 9, 1733, to be written to the Coadjutor of +Quebec, by the minister having the department of the Marine; importing +that the king was much displeased with the Nuns--that regularity and +order might be restored by reducing the nuns to the number of twelve, +according to their original establishment--and that, as the management +and superintendence of the community had been granted to the Governor, +Prelate, and Intendant, the Coadjutor should take the necessary +measures to prevent them from repeating conduct so indecent and +improper." + +The entire affair seems to have been this; that the Nuns of Quebec at +that period preferred the gallant military officers, and their +bewitching festivities, to the coarser and less diversified indulgences +of the Jesuits; upon which the latter murmured, and resolved to hinder +the soldiers from intruding into their fold, and among the cloistered +females, to visit whom they claimed as their own peculiar privilege, +inseparably attached to their priestly character and ecclesiastical +functions. It is infallibly certain that after a lapse of 100 years, +neither the Jesuits nor the Nuns in Canada, are in the smallest +particle reformed. + +The British government, by the treaty made upon the surrender of that +province to them, guarantied to the Papal Ecclesiastics, both male and +female, their prior exemptions and special immunities. Many of the +officers of the Government in Canada, who have long resided there, are +anxious to see the nunneries and their adjuncts totally extirpated; and +it may be safely asserted that they know the character given of those +institutions by Maria Monk is a graphical picture of their continuous +doings. + +The British government, for the purpose of retaining their supremacy +over the province, have not only connived at those irregularities, but +have always enjoined that the public sanction should be given to their +puerile shows, and their pageant, pompous processions by the attendance +of the civil and military officers upon them, and by desecrating the +Lord's day with martial music, &c. In this particular affair, the +executive officers of the Provincial Government are fully apprised of +all the substantial facts in the case; for an affidavit of the +principal circumstances was presented to Mr. Ogden, the Attorney +General of Canada, and to Mr. Grant, another of the King's counsellors: +and afterward Maria Monk did undergo an examination by those gentlemen, +in the house of Mr. Grant, at Montreal, in the presence of Mr. Comte, +one of the superior order of priests of that city; and of another +Priest, believed to be either Phelan or Dufresne, who was concealed +behind the sofa. + +It is also incontrovertible, that the nominal Papists in Canada, who, +in reality, are often infidels, notwithstanding their jocose sneers, +and affected contempt, do generally believe every title of Maria Monk's +narrative. This is the style in which they talk of it. They first, +according to custom, loudly curse the authors; for to find a Papist +infidel who does not break the third commandment, is as difficult as to +point out a moral Roman Priest or a chaste Nun. They first swear at the +author, and then, with a hearty laugh, add the following +illustration:--"Everybody knows that the Priests are a jolly set of +fellows, who live well, and must have license, or they would be +contrary to nature. They have the privilege of going into the +nunneries, and they would be great fools if they did not use and enjoy +it!" Such is the exact language which is adopted among the Canadians; +and such are the precise words which have been used by Canadian +gentlemen in New York, when criticising Maria Monk's volume. It affords +stronger proof than a direct attestation. + +The other class of persons who verily believe the "Awful Disclosures," +are the religious community in Canada. We think that scarcely a +well-informed person can be discovered in Montreal or Quebec, who does +not feel assured, that the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery is most +faithfully depicted by Maria Monk. Many persons are now inhabitants of +New York who formerly resided in Montreal, some of whom have been upon +terms of familiar intimacy for years with those Roman Priests, who are +specified as the principal actors in the scenes depicted in that book; +and they most solemnly declare, that they have no doubt of the truth of +Maria Monk's narrative. + +Mr. _Samuel B. Smith_, who has been not only a Roman Priest, but has +had several _cages of nuns_ under his sole management, questioned Maria +Monk expressly respecting those affairs, customs and ceremonies, which +appertain only to nunneries, because they cannot be practiced by any +other females but those who are shut up in those dungeons; and, after +having minutely examined her, he plainly averred that it was manifest +she could not have known the things which she communicated to him +unless she had been a nun; not merely a scholar, or a temporary +resident, or even a novice, but a nun, who had taken the veil, in the +strictest sense of the appellative. This testimony is of the more +value, because the conclusion does not depend upon any conflicting +statements, of partial or prejudicial witnesses, but upon a fact which +is essential to the system of monachism; that no persons can know all +the secrets of nunneries, but the Chaplain, the Abbess, and their +accomplices in that "mystery of iniquity." Mr. Smith's declaration in +one other respect is absolutely decisive. He has declared not only that +Maria Monk has been a nun, but also that the descriptions which she +gives are most minutely accurate. + +Mr. Smith also testifies that the account which Maria Monk gives of the +proceedings of the priests, the obscene questions which they ask young +females, and their lewd practices with them at auricular confession, +are constantly exemplified by the Roman Priests; and he also confirms +her statements, by the testimony of his own individual experience, and +actual personal acquaintance with the Canadian nunneries, as well as +with those in the United States, and especially of that at Monroe, +Michigan, which was dissolved by Mr. Fenwick, on account of scandalous +impurity, several years ago. + +Mrs. ----, a widow lady now in New York, who formerly was a Papist in +Montreal, and was recently converted to Christianity, solemnly avers, +that the Priest Richards himself, conducted her from the Seminary +through the subterraneous passage to the nunnery, and describes the +whole exactly in accordance with the statement of Maria Monk. + +_Mr. Lloyd_, who was in business a number of years adjacent to the +nunnery, and who is intimately acquainted with those priests, their +characters, principles, and habits, avows his unqualified conviction of +the truth of the "Awful Disclosures." + +_Mr. Hogan_, who was eighteen months in the Jesuit Seminary at +Montreal, and in constant intercourse and attendance upon Lartigue and +his accomplices, unequivocally affirms, that Maria Monk's complex +description of those Priests are most minutely and accurately true. + +One hundred other persons probably can be adduced, who, during their +residence in Canada, or on their tours to that province, by inquiries +ascertained that things in accordance with Maria Monk's delineations +are the undoubted belief of each class of persons, and of every variety +of condition, and in all places which they visited in Lower Canada. + +_Mr. Greenfield_, the father of the gentleman who owns the two +steamboats on the river St. Lawrence, called the Lady of the Lake, and +the Canadian Eagle, who is a citizen of New York, avows his unqualified +assent to all Maria Monk's statements, and most emphatically +adds--_"Maria Monk has not disclosed one tenth part of the truth +respecting the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada."_ + +Fifty other persons from that province, now residing in New York, +likewise attest the truth of the "Disclosures." + +At Sorel, Berthier, and Three Rivers, the usual stopping-places for the +steamboats on the River St. Lawrence, the Priests, if they have any +cause to be at the wharf, may be seen accompanied by one or more +children, their _"Nephews,"_ as the Priests _facetiously_ denominate +their offspring; and if any person on the steamboat should be heard +expatiating upon the piety, the temperance, the honesty, or the purity +of Roman Priests and Nuns, he would be laughed at outright, either as a +_natural_ or an ironical jester; while the priest himself would join in +the merriment, as being a "capital joke." + +We are assured by the most indisputable authority in Montreal, that the +strictly religious people in that city do generally credit Maria Monk's +statements without hesitation; and the decisive impression of her +veracity can never be removed. If it were possible at once to reform +the nunneries, and to transform them from castles of ignorance, +uncleanness, and murder, where all their arts are concealed in +impervious secrecy, into abodes of wisdom, chastity, and benevolence to +every recess of which all persons, at every hour, might have +unrestricted admission--that would not change the past; it would leave +them indelibly branded with the emphatical title applied to the nunnery +at Charlestown, "FILTHY, MURDEROUS DENS." + +3. _Who are those who deny the truth of the book? Case of Father +Conroy. Father Conroy's deception._ + +In addition to the objections from improbability, another series of +opposition consists of flat, broad denials of the truth of Maria Monk's +"Awful Disclosures." This mode of vanquishing direct charges is even +more invalid than the former futile cavilling. It is also remarkable, +when we remember who are the persons that deny the statements made by +Maria Monk. Are they the Roman Priests implicated? Not at all. They are +too crafty. The only persons who attempt to hint even a suspicion of +the truth of the secrets divulged in the "Awful Disclosures," are +editors of Newspapers: some of whom are ever found on the side of +infidelity and vice; men always reproaching religion; and directly +calumniating, or scornfully ridiculing the best Christians in the land; +and profoundly ignorant of Popery and Jesuitism, and the monastic +system. + +It is true that Priest Conroy of New York, has contradicted in general +terms the truth of the statement respecting himself, and his attempt to +abduct Maria Monk from the Almshouse. But what does he deny? He is +plainly charged, in the "Awful Disclosures," with a protracted +endeavor, _by fraud or by force to remove Maria Monk from that +institution_. Now that charge involves a flagrant misdemeanor, or it is +a wicked and gross libel. Let him answer the following questions: + +Did he not frequently visit the house, and lurk about at various times, +for longer and shorter periods, expressly to have an interview with +Maria Monk? + +Did he not state that he was acquainted with her by the name she bore +in the nunnery, _Sainte Eustace_. + +Did he not declare that he was commissioned by Lartigue, Phelan, +Dufresne, Kelly, and the Abbess of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, +to obtain a possession of her, that she might be sent back to the abode +of the Furies? + +Did he not offer her any thing she pleased to demand, provided she +would reside with the Ursulines of this city? + +Did he not also declare that he would have her at all risks, and that +she could not escape him? + +Did he not persevere in this course of action, until he was positively +assured that she would not see him, and that the Priest Conroy should +not have access to Maria Monk? + +Was not the priest Kelly, from Canada, in New York at that period, +prompting Conroy; and did not that same Kelly come on here expressly to +obtain possession of Maria Monk, that he might carry her back to the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, there to murder her, as his accomplices have +smothered, poisoned, and bled to death other victims of their beastly +licentiousness? + +All these questions are implied in Maria Monk's statement, and they +involve the highest degree of crime against the liberty, rights, and +life of Maria Monk, and the laws of New York, and the charge is either +true or false. Why does not the Priest Conroy try it? Why does he not +demonstrate that he is calumniated, by confronting the Authoress and +Publishers of the book before an impartial jury. We are assured that +the Executive committee of the New York Protestant Association will +give ten dollars to any Lawyer, whom Mr. Conroy will authorize to +institute a civil suit for libel, payable at the termination of the +process. Will he subject the question to that scrutiny? _Never_. He +would rather follow the example of his fellow priests, and depart from +New York. Many of the Maynooth Jesuits, after having fled from Ireland +for their crimes, to this country, to avoid the punishments due to them +for the repetition of them in the United States, and to elude +discovery, have assumed false names and gone to France; or in disguise +have joined their dissolute companions in Canada. + +It is also a fact, that the Priest, named Quarter, with one of his +minions, did visit the house where Maria Monk resides, on the 13th day +of February, 1836; and did endeavor to see her alone, under the false +pretext of delivering to her a packet from her brother in Montreal; and +as an argument for having an interview with her without company, one of +the two impostors did protest that he had a parcel from John Monk; +which "he had sworn not to deliver except into the hands of his sister +in person." Now what object had Mr. Quarter in view; and what was his +design in going to her residence between nine and ten o'clock at night, +under a lying pretence? Mr. Quarter comes from Canada. He knows all the +Priests of Montreal. For what purpose did he assume a fictitious +character, and utter base and wilful falsehoods, that, he might have +access to her, with another man, when Maria Monk, as they hoped, would +be without a protector? For what ignoble design did he put an old Truth +Teller into a parcel, and make his priest-ridden minion declare that it +was a very valuable packet of letters from John Monk? That strange +contrivance requires explanation. Did Priest Quarter believe that Maria +Monk was in Montreal? Did he doubt her personal identity? Does not that +fact alone verity that all the Roman Priests are confederated? Does it +not prove that her delineations are correct? Does it not evince that +the Papal Ecclesiastics dread the disclosures? + +4. _The great ultimate test which the nature of this case demands. +Challenge of the New York Protestant Association_.--It is readily +admitted, that the heinous charges which are made by Maria Monk against +the Roman priests cannot easily be rebutted in the usual form of +disproving criminal allegations. The denial of those Priests is good +for nothing, and they cannot show an alibi. But there is one mode of +destroying Maria Monk's testimony, equally _prompt_ and _decisive_, and +no other way is either feasible, just, or can be efficient. That method +is the plan proposed by the New York Protestant Association. + +The Hotel Dieu Nunnery is in Montreal. Here is Maria Monk's description +of its interior apartments and passages. She offers to go to Montreal +under the protection of a committee of four members of the New York +Protestant Association, and in company with four gentlemen of Montreal, +to explore the Nunnery; and she also voluntarily proposes that if her +descriptions of the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery are not found to +be true, she will surrender herself to Lartigue and his confederates to +torture her in what way they may please, or will bear the punishment of +the civil laws as a base and wilful slanderer of the Canadian Jesuit +Ecclesiastics. + +When Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, Phelan, Richards, and their fellows, +accede to this proposition, we shall hesitate respecting Maria Monk's +veracity; until then, by all impartial and intelligent judges, and by +enlightened Protestants and Christians, the "Awful Disclosures" will be +pronounced undeniable facts. The scrutiny, however, respecting Maria +Monk's credibility comprises two general questions, to which we shall +succinctly reply. + +1. _Was Maria Monk a Nun in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal?_--In +ordinary cases, to dispute respecting a circumstance of that kind would +be deemed a most strange absurdity; and almost similar to an inquiry +into a man's personal identity when his living form is before your +eyes. Maria Monk says she was a nun, presents you a book descriptive of +the Convent in which she resided, and leaves the fact of her abode +there to be verified by the minute accuracy of her delineations of +arcana, with which only the visiting Roman Priests and the imprisoned +nuns are acquainted. That test, neither Lartigue nor the Priests will +permit to be applied; and therefore, so far, Maria Monk's testimony +cannot directly be corroborated. It is however not a little remarkable, +that no one of all the persons so boldly impeached by her of the most +atrocious crimes, has, even whispered a hint that she was not a nun; +while the priest Conroy has confirmed that fact far more certainly than +if he had openly asserted its truth. + +5. _The Testimony of Mrs. Monk considered._--The only evidence against +that fact is her mother. Now it is undeniable, that her mother is a +totally incompetent witness. She is known in Montreal to be a woman of +but little principle; and her oath in her daughter's favour would be +injurious to her; for she is so habitually intemperate, that it is +questionable whether she is ever truly competent to explain any matters +which come under her notice. Truth requires this declaration, although +Maria, with commendable filial feelings, did not hint at the fact. +Besides, during a number of years past, she has exhibited a most +unnatural aversion, or rather animosity, to her daughter; so that to +her barbarous usage of Maria when a child, may be imputed the +subsequent scenes through which she has passed. When appealed to +respecting her daughter, her uniform language was such as this--"I do +not care what becomes of her, or who takes her, or where she goes, or +what is done to her, provided she keeps away from me." It is also +testified by the most unexceptionable witnesses in Montreal, that when +Maria Monk went to that city in August, 1835, and first made known her +case, that Mrs. Monk repeatedly declared, that her daughter had been a +Nun; and that she had been in the Nunneries at Montreal a large portion +of her life. She also avowed, that the offer of bribery that had been +made unto her, had been made, not by Protestants, to testify that her +daughter Maria had been an inmate of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery; but by the +Roman Priests, who had promised her one hundred dollars, if she would +make an affidavit that Maria had not been in that nunnery at all; and +would also swear to any other matters which they dictated. Now there is +little room for doubt, that the affidavit to the truth of which she +finally swore was thus obtained; for she has not capacity to compose +such a narrative, nor has she been in a state of mind, for a number of +years past, to understand the details which have thus craftily been +imposed upon the public in her name. When she had no known inducement +to falsify the fact in August, 1835, before the Priests became alarmed, +then she constantly affirmed that her daughter had been a Nun; but +after Lartigue and his companions were assured that her daughter's +narrative would appear, then the mother was probably bribed, formally +to swear to a wilful falsehood; for it is most probable, that she +either did not see, or from intoxication could not comprehend, the +contents of the paper to which her signature is affixed. Her habitual +intemperance, her coarse impiety, her long-indulged hatred and cruelty +towards her daughter, and her flat self-contradictions, with her +repeated and public declarations, that she had been offered a large sum +of money by the Montreal Priests, thus to depreciate her daughter's +allegations, and to attest upon oath precisely the contrary to that +which she had previously declared, to persons whose sole object was to +ascertain the truth--all those things demonstrate that Mrs. Monk's +evidence is of no worth; and yet that is all the opposite evidence +which can be adduced. + +6. _Testimony in favour of the book_.--Mr. Miller the son of Adam +Miller, a well known teacher at St. John's, who has known Maria Monk +from her childhood, and who is now a resident of New York, solemnly +attests, that in the month of August, 1833, he made inquiries of Mrs. +Monk respecting her daughter Maria, and that Mrs. Monk informed him +that Maria was then a _Nun!_ that she had taken the veil previous to +that conversation, and that she had been in the nunnery for a number of +years. Mr. Miller voluntarily attests to that fact. He was totally +ignorant of Maria Monk's being out of the Nunnery at Montreal, until he +saw her book, and finally by searching out her place of abode, renewed +the acquaintance with her which had existed between them from the +period when she attended his father's school in her childhood. See the +affidavit of William Miller. + +When Maria Monk made her escape, as she states, from the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, she took refuge in the house of a woman named Lavalliere in +Elizabeth street, Montreal, the second or third door from the corner of +what is commonly called "the Bishop's Church." Madame Lavalliere +afterward admitted, that Maria Monk did arrive at her house at the time +specified, in the usual habiliments of a Nun, and made herself known as +an eloped Nun; that she provided her with other clothing; and that she +afterward carried the Nun's garments to the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +After her escape, Maria Monk narrates that she went on board a +steamboat for Quebec, intending thereby to avoid being seized and again +transferred to the Nunnery, that she was recognised by the Captain, was +kept under close watch during the whole period of the stay of that boat +at Quebec, and merely by accident escaped the hands of the Priests, by +watching for an unexpected opportunity to gain the shore during the +absence of the Captain, and the momentary negligence of the female +attendant in the cabin. The woman was called Margaret ----, the other +name is forgotten. The name of the Master of the steamboat is probably +known and he has never pretended to deny that statement, that he did +thus detain Maria Monk, would not permit her to go on shore at Quebec, +and that he also conducted her back to Montreal; having suspected or +ascertained that she was a Nun who had clandestinely escaped from a +Convent. + +7. _Corroborative evidence unintentionally furnished by the opponents +of the book_.--After her flight from the steamboat, she was found early +in the morning, in a very perilous situation, either on the banks, or +partly in Lachine Canal, and was committed to the public prison by Dr. +Robertson, whence she was speedily released through the intervention of +Mr. Esson, one of the Presbyterian ministers of Montreal. Upon this +topic, her statement coincides exactly with that of Dr. Robertson. + +But he also states--"Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria +Monk's story, I thought it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry +concerning it, and have ascertained where she has been residing a great +part of the time she states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. +During the summer of 1832, she was at service at William Henry; the +winters of 1832-3, she passed in this neighborhood at St. Ours and St. +Denis." + +That is most remarkable testimony, because, although Papists may justly +be admitted to know nothing of times and dates, unless by their +Carnivals, their Festivals, their Lent, or their Penance--yet +Protestant Magistrates might be more precise. Especially, as it is a +certain fact, that no person at Sorel can be discovered, who is at all +acquainted with such a young woman in service in the summer of 1832. It +is true, she did reside at St. Denis or St. Ours, as the _Roman Priests +can testify_; but not at the period specified by Dr. Robertson. + +For the testimony of a decisive witness in favour of Maria Monk, see +the statement of an old schoolmate in Appendix. + +8. _Summary view of the evidence_.--Let us sum up this contradictory +evidence respecting the simple fact, whether Maria Monk was a resident +of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery or not? + +Her mother says--"I denied that my daughter had ever been in a +Nunnery." Dr. Robertson informed us--"I have ascertained where she has +been residing a great part of the time she states having been an inmate +of the Nunnery." That is all which can be adduced to contradict Maria +Monk's statement. + +This is a most extraordinary affair, that a young woman's place of +abode cannot be accurately discovered during several years, when all +the controversy depends upon the fact of that residence. Why did not +Dr. Robertson specify minutely with whom Maria Monk lived at service at +William Henry, in the summer of 1832?--Why did not Dr. Robertson +exactly designate where, and with whom, she resided at St. Denis and +St. Ours, in the winters of 1832 and 1833? The only answer to these +questions is this--_Dr. Robertson cannot_. He obtained his +contradictory information most probably from her mother, or from the +Priest Kelly, and then embodied it in his affidavit to regain that +favour and popularity with the Montreal Papists which he has so long +lost. We are convinced that neither the evidence of Mrs. Monk, nor Dr. +Robertson, would be of a feather's weight in a court of justice against +the other witnesses, Mrs. ----, and Mr. William Miller. + +Maria Monk asserts, that she was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery +during the period designated by Dr. Robertson, which is familiarly +denominated the Cholera summer. In her narrative she develops a variety +of minute and characteristic details of proceedings in that +Institution, connected with things which all persons in Montreal know +to have actually occurred, and of events which it is equally certain +did happen, and which did not transpire anywhere else; and which is +impossible could have taken place at Sorel or William Henry; because +there is no Nunnery there; and consequently her descriptions would be +purely fabricated and fictitious. + +But the things asserted are not inventions of imagination. No person +could thus delineate scenes which he had not beheld; and therefore +Maria Monk witnessed them; consequently, she was a member of that +family community; for the circumstances which she narrates nowhere else +occurred. At all events, it seems more reasonable to suppose that an +individual can more certainly tell what had been his own course of +life, than persons who, by their own admission, know nothing of the +subject; and especially when her statements are confirmed by such +unexceptionable witnesses. There are, however, two collateral points of +evidence which strongly confirm Maria Monk's direct statements. One is +derived from the very character of the acknowledgments which she made, +and the period when they were first disclosed. "A death-bed," says the +Poet, "is a detector of the heart." Now it is certain, that the +appalling facts which she states, were not primarily made in a season +of hilarity, or with any design to "make money" by them, or with any +expectation that they would be known to any other person than Mr. +Hilliker, Mr. Tappan, and a few others at Bellevue; but when there was +no anticipation that her life would be prolonged, and when agonized +with the most dreadful retrospection and prospects. + +It is not possible to believe, that any woman would confess those facts +which are divulged by Maria Monk, unless from dread of death and the +judgment to come, or from the effect of profound Christian penitence. +Feminine repugnance would be invincible. Thus, the alarm of eternity, +her entrance upon which appeared to be so immediate, was the only cause +of those communications; which incontestably prove, that Nunneries are +the very nurseries of the most nefarious crimes, and the most abandoned +transgressors. + +The other consideration is this--that admitting the statements to be +true, Maria Monk could not be unconscious of the malignity of Roman +Priests, and of her own danger; and if her statements were fictitious, +she was doubly involving herself in irreparable disgrace and ruin. In +either case, as long as she was in New York she was personally safe; +and as her disclosures had been restricted to very few persons, she +might have withdrawn from the public institution, and in privacy have +passed away her life, "alike unknowing and unknown." Lunacy itself +could only have instigated a woman situated as she was, to visit +Montreal, and there defy the power, and malice, and fury of the Roman +Priests, and their myrmidons; by accumulating upon them charges of +rape, infanticide, the affliction of the tortures of the Inquisition, +and murders of cold-blooded ferocity in the highest degree, with all +the atrocious concomitant iniquities which those prolific sins include. + +Now it is certain, that she was not deranged; and she was not forced. +She went deliberately, and of her own accord, to meet the Popish +Priests upon the spot where their crimes are perpetrated, and the +stronghold of their power. Whether that measure was the most prudent +and politic for herself, and the most wise and efficient for the +acquisition of the avowed object, may be disputed; but the exemplary +openness and the magnanimous daring of that act cannot be controverted. + +The narrative, pages 116 to l27, respecting the cholera and the +election riots at Montreal, both which scenes happened at the period +when Dr. Robertson says Maria Monk was at William Henry, or St. Denis, +or St. Ours; could not have been described, at least that part of it +respecting the wax candles, and the preparation for defence, except by +a resident of the Nunnery. + +It is a public, notorious fact, that "blessed candles" were made, and +sold by the Nuns, and used at Montreal under the pretext to preserve +the houses from the Cholera, and to drive it away; that those candles +were directed so to be kept burning by the pretended injunction of the +Pope; and that large quantities of the Nunnery candles were dispersed +about Montreal and its vicinity, which were fixed at a high price; and +whoever suffered by the Cholera, the Nuns and their Masters, the +Priests, could truly say--"By this craft we have our wealth." Acts +19:25. It is obvious, that a young Papist woman at service at William +Henry, could know no more of those matters, than if she had been at +Labrador; for the incidental remark with which that part of the +narrative commences, is one of those apparently superfluous +intimations, which it is evident a person who was writing a fiction +would not introduce; and yet it is so profoundly characteristic of a +Canadian Convent, that its very simple artlessness at once obliterates +Dr. Robertson's affidavit. "There were a few instances, and only a few, +in which we knew any thing that was happening in the world; and even +then our knowledge did not extend out of the city." We cannot be +infallibly certain of Maria Monk's description of the interior of the +Nunnery; but that unpremeditated remark, so minutely descriptive of the +predominating ignorance among the Nuns of all terrestrial concerns +exterior of the Convent, is satisfactory proof that the narrator was +not sketching from fancy, but depicting from actual life. + +From those testimonies, direct and unintentional, it is fully evident, +that Maria Monk was a long resident, and is profoundly acquainted with +the doings in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal. + +II. What collateral evidence can be adduced of the truth of the "Awful +Disclosures" by Maria Monk? + +1. One corroborative testimony is derived from the _silence of the +Roman Priests and their avowed partisans_. Months have passed away +since the first statements of those matters were made, and also the +defence of the Priests, with the affidavits and other connected +circumstances, were presented to the public in the Protestant +Vindicator. One of the persons in Montreal, who was in favour of the +Jesuits, Mr. Doucet, stated that "the Priests never take up such +things; they allow their character to defend itself." There was a time +when that contemptuous course would have sufficed, or rather, when to +have spoken the truth of the Roman Priests would have cost a man his +life, and overwhelmed his family in penury, disgrace, and anguish. The +Canadian Jesuits may be assured that time has passed away, never more +to return. They must take up this thing; for their characters cannot +defend themselves; and every enlightened man in Canada knows, that in a +moral aspect, they cannot be defended. + +Argument, denial, affidavits, if they could reach from Montreal to New +York, and the oaths of every Papist and Infidel in Canada,--from Joseph +Signay, the Popish Prelate of Quebec and Jean Jacques Lartigue, the +Suffragan of Montreal, down to the most profligate of the half-pay +military officers, among whom are to be found some of the dregs of the +British army, all of them will avail nothing. They are not worth a puff +of wind against the internal evidence of Maria Monk's book, in +connexion with the rejection of the proposal of the New York Protestant +Association, that the Nunnery shall undergo a strict and impartial +examination. It is one of the remarkable evidences of the extraordinary +delusion which blinds, or the infatuation which enchains the public +mind, that men will not credit the corruptions and barbarities of +Romanism. To account for this stupefaction among persons who are wide +awake to every other system of deadly evil, is almost impossible. +Popery necessarily extirpates the rights of man. It ever has destroyed +the well-being of society. By it, all municipal law and domestic +obligations are abrogated: It always subverts national prosperity and +stability; and it is the invincible extinguisher of all true morality +and genuine religion. Notwithstanding, men will give credence neither +to its own avowed principles, character, and spirit; nor to the +unavoidable effects which constantly have flowed from its operations +and predominance. + +In any other case but one exposing the abominations of Popery, such a +volume as Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" would have been received +without cavil; and immediate judicial measures would have been adopted, +to ascertain the certainty of the alleged facts, and the extent and +aggravation of their criminality. But now persons are calling for more +evidence, when, if they reflected but for a moment, they would +perceive, that the only additional evidence possible, is under the +entire control of the very persons who are criminated; and to whom the +admission of further testimony would be the accumulation of indelible +ignominy. + +The pretence, that it is contrary to their rules to allow strangers to +explore the interior of a nunnery, only adds insult to crime. Why +should a Convent be exempt from search, more than any other edifice? +Why should Roman Priests be at liberty to perpetrate every deed of +darkness in impenetrable recesses called nunneries? Why should one body +of females, shut up in a certain species of mansion, to whom only one +class of men have unrestricted access, be excluded from all public and +legal supervision, more than any other habitation of lewd women, into +which all men may enter? As citizens of the United States, we do not +pretend to have any authoritative claim to explore a convent within the +dominion of a foreign potentate. The Roman Priests of Canada, exercise +a vast influence, and are completely intertwined with the Jesuits, in +this republic. Therefore, when they remember the extinction of the +nunneries at Monroe, Michigan, Charlestown, and Pittsburg; and when +they recollect, that the delineations of Maria Monk, if they produce no +effect in Canada, will assuredly render female convents in the United +States very suspicious and insecure; if they have any solicitude for +their confederates, they will intrepidly defy research, and dauntlessly +accept the offer of the New York Protestant Association: that a joint +committee of disinterested, enlightened and honorable judges, should +fully investigate, and equitably decide upon the truth or falsehood of +Maria Monk's averments. Their ominous silence, their affected contempt, +and their audacious refusal, are calculated only to convince every +impartial person, of even the smallest discernment, of the real state +of things in that edifice; that the chambers of pollution are above, +and that the dungeon of torture and death are below; and that they +dread the exposure of the theatre on which their horrible tragedies are +performed. + +It is also a fact publicly avowed by certain Montreal Papists +themselves, and extensively told in taunt and triumph, that they have +been employed as masons and carpenters by the Roman Priests, since +Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in August, 1835, expressly to alter +various parts of the Hotel Dieu Convent, and to close up some of the +subterraneous passages and cells in that nunnery. This circumstance is +not pretended even to be disputed or doubted; for when the dungeons +under ground are spoken of before the Papists, their remark is this: +"Eh bien! mais vous ne les trouverez pas, a present; on les a cache +hors de vue. Very well, you will not find them there now; they are +closed up, and out of sight." Why was the manoeuvre completed? +Manifestly, that in urgent extremity, a casual explorer might be +deceived, by the apparent proof that the avenues, and places of +imprisonment and torture which Maria Monk describes are not +discoverable. Now that circumstance might not even been suspected, if +the Papist workmen themselves had not openly boasted of the chicanery +by which the Priests, who employed them, expected to blind and deceive +the Protestants. For in reference to the Romanists, a Popish Priest +well knows that nothing more is necessary than for him to assert any +absurdity, however gross or impossible, and attest it by the five +crosses on his vestments, and his own superstitious vassal believes it +with more assurance than his own personal identity. But the filling up +and the concealment of the old apertures in the nunnery, by the order +of the Roman Priests are scarcely less powerful corroborative proof of +Maria Monk's delineations, than ocular and palpable demonstration. + +2. Some of the circumstances attending Maria Monk's visit to Montreal, +in August, 1835, add great weight in favour of the truth, which no +cavils, skepticism, scorn, nor menaces, can counterbalance. + +We will however state one very recent occurrence, because it seems to +us, that it alone is almost decisive of the controversy. A counsellor +of Quebec--his name is omitted merely from delicacy and prudential +considerations--has been in New York since the publication of the +"Awful Disclosures" His mind was so much influenced by the perusal of +that volume, that he sought out the Authoress, and most closely +searched into the credibility of her statements. Before the termination +of the interview, that gentleman became so convinced of the truth of +the picture which Maria Monk drew of the interior of the Canadian +Nunneries, that he expressed himself to the following effect:--"My +daughter, about 15 years of age, is in the Ursuline Convent at Quebec. +I will return home immediately; and if I cannot remove her any other +way, I will drag her out by the hair of her head, and raise a noise +about their ears that shall not soon be quieted." + +That gentleman did so return to Quebec, since which he has again +visited New York; and he stated, that upon his arrival in Quebec, he +went to the Convent, and instantly removed his daughter from the +Ursuline Nunnery; from whom he ascertained, as far as she had been +initiated into the mysteries, that Maria Monk's descriptions of +Canadian Nunneries, are most minutely and undeniably accurate. + +We have already remarked, that Mrs. ----, Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Hogan, and Mr. +Smith, who was a Papist Priest, with scores of other persons who +formerly resided in Montreal, all express their unqualified belief of +the statements made by Maria Monk. Mr. Ogden's acquaintance with the +facts, as Attorney General, and that of other officers of the +Provincial Government, have also been noticed. The ensuing additional +circumstances are of primary importance to a correct estimate of the +value which should be attached to the crafty silence of the Roman +Priests and the impudent denials of infidel profligates. + +Mr. Bouthillier, one of the Montreal Magistrates, called at Mr. +Johnson's house where Maria Monk stayed, in the month of August, 1835, +when visiting Montreal. + +He addressed her and said:--"There is some mystery about Novices--What +is it? and asked how long a woman must be a novice before she can take +the veil?" Having been answered, Mr. Bouthillier then desired Maria +Monk to describe the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. As soon as it +was done, he became enraged, and said--"Vous dites un mensonge, vous en +savez. You lie, you know you do?"--Mr. Bouthillier next inquired--"Was +Mr. Tabeau in the Holy Retreat when you left the Convent?" She answered +"Yes." To which he replied in French--"Anybody might have answered that +question." Something having been said about the Hotel Dieu Nuns being +confined to their convent, Mr. Bouthillier declared, that they were +allowed to go about the streets. He was told that could not be the +case, for it was a direct violation of the rules for Nuns to depart +from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. He replied--"Ce n'est pas vrai. That is +not true," Mr. Bonthillier then became very angry, and applied to Maria +Monk some very abusive epithets, for which a gentleman in the room +reproved him. It was evident, that he lost his temper because he had +lost his argument, and his hopes of controverting her statements. + +On the Lord's day after Maria Monk's arrival in Montreal, and when the +matter had become well known and much talked about, Phelan, the Priest, +at the end of mass, addressed the Papists, who were assembled to hear +mass, to this effect: "There is a certain nun in this city who has left +our faith, and joined the Protestants. She has a child of which she is +ready to swear I am the father. She wishes in this way to take my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The Devil now has such hold upon people that there is danger lest some +might believe her story." He then pretended to weep, and appeared to be +overcome with feeling. A number of the people gathered around him, and +he said: "That nun is Antichrist. She is not a human being, but an evil +spirit, who got among the Catholics, and _was admitted into the +nunnery_, where she learned the rules." He also stated, that "in that +nun, the prophecy respecting the coming of Antichrist is fulfilled, to +break down the Catholic religion." Such was Phelan's address to the +people. He declared that Maria Monk had been a nun. Now he knew her, +for he saw her in Montreal, where she could not know him. It would have +saved all further inquiry and research, if, instead of denouncing her +after mass, he had merely assented to Maria Monk's proposition, to be +confronted with those Roman Priests and nuns before impartial witnesses +in the Hotel Dieu Convent. + +One of the most impressively characteristic circumstances which +occurred during Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in Aug. 1835, was an +interview at Mr. Johnson's house with a carpenter who had heard +Phelan's denunciation of Maria Monk after mass. + +The heinous destruction of all domestic confidence and of all female +purity, is known to be the constant and general practice, not only in +Canada, but in all other Popish countries, and among Papists in every +part of the world. For in truth it is only fulfilling the authentic +dogmas of their own system. The following authoritative principles are +divulged in the Corpus Juris Canonici, which contains the Decretals, +Canons, &c. of the Popes and Councils; and other participants of the +pretended Papal infallibility. "If the Pope fall into homicide or +adultery, he cannot be accused, but is excused by the murders of +Samson, and the adultery of David." Hugo, Glossa, distinc. 40 Chapter, +Non vos.--"Likewise if any Priest is found embracing a woman, it must +be presupposed and expounded that he doth it to bless her!"--Glossa, +Caus. 12. Quest. 3. Chapter Absis. According to the Pope's bull he who +does not believe those doctrines is accursed. + +As that carpenter was completely overcome by the recollection of the +Priest's information and caution about his marriage, he desisted from +any further questions; but upon Maria Monk's declaration, that she was +desirous to go into the convent, and prove all her accusations against +the Priests and Nuns, he withdrew. Soon after he returned, and stated, +that he had been to the Convent, to inquire respecting her; and that he +had been informed, that she had once belonged to the Nunnery; but that +they would not any longer own or recognise her. Afterwards he exhibited +the most contradictory emotions, and first cursed Maria Monk; then +reviled the Priests, applying to them all the loathsome epithets in the +Canadian vocabulary. Subsequently, he went to make inquiries at the +Seminary; and after his return to Mr. Johnson's house he declared, that +the persons there had informed him, that Maria Monk had lived in the +Nunnery, but not as a Nun; then he offered to assist her in her +endeavours to expose the Priests; and finally disappeared, swearing +aloud as he was retiring from the house; and apparently thinking over +the conduct of the Priest to his wife before their marriage. "Oh, +sacre!"--he repeated to himself--"c'est trop mechant!" + +Similar facts to the above occurred frequently during the time of Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal--in which strangers who called upon her, +cursed and reviled her; then believed her statements and assented to +them--and displayed all the natural excitement which was necessarily +comprised in the working of their own belief and convictions of the +iniquity of the Priests, and the dread resulting from their own +superstitious vassalage, and the certainty of a heavy penance. + +But in connexion with the preceding collateral evidence is another +remarkable circumstance, which is this: the extensive knowledge which +Maria Monk has obtained of the Canadian Jesuits. Those with whom she +has been acquainted, she affirms that she could instantly identify. For +that object, she has given a catalogue of those Priests whose names and +persons are in some degree familiarly known to her. As the Priests are +often changing their abodes, and many of them residents in Montreal +until a vacancy occurs for them in the country parishes, in those +particulars there may be a trifling mistake; but Maria Monk solemnly +avers, that the Priests, whether dead or living, who are enumerated in +the subsequent catalogue, either have dwelt or do yet reside in the +places specified. When unexpectedly and closely examined in reference +to the Priests of the same name, she particularly distinguished them, +and pointed out the difference between them in their persons, gait, +&c.; thus precluding all objection from the fact of there being more +than one Priest with a similar appellative. This circumstance +particularly is illustrated by the Priests named Marcoux, of whom she +says there are three brothers or first cousins--two called Dufresne, +&c.: each of whom she graphically depicts. It is also certain, because +she has done it in a great variety of instances, and in the presence of +many different persons, all of whom are well acquainted with them, that +she describes Lartigue; Dufresne; Richard; Phelan; Bonin; Comte; +Bourget; McMahon; Kelly; Demers; Roux; Roque; Sauvage; Tabeau; Marcoux; +Morin; Durocher; and all the Roman Priests around Montreal, with the +utmost minuteness of accuracy; while the Chaplain of the Ursuline +Nunnery at Quebec, Father Daule, is as exactly depicted by her, as if +her whole life had been passed under his _surveillance_. Some of the +appellatives in the ensuing catalogue may not be correctly spelt. +Scarcely any thing is more difficult than to acquire proper names in a +foreign language; and especially where the pronunciation itself is +provincial, as is the case with Canadian French; and when also those +titles have to be transcribed from the mouth of a person who knows no +more of orthoepy and orthography than a Canadian Nun. However, Maria +Monk attests, that the Priests to whom she refers did reside at those +places which she has designated, and that she has seen them all in the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery--some of them very often, and others on a variety of +occasions. + +Nothing is more improbable, if not impossible, than that any Papist +girl should have such an extensive acquaintance among Roman Priests. In +Canada especially, where the large majority of females have little more +correct knowledge of that which occurs out of their own district than +of Herschel's astronomical discoveries, young women cannot be +personally familiar with any Priests, in ordinary cases, except those +who may have been "Cures" of the parish in which they reside, or of the +immediate vicinity, or an occasional visitor during the absence, or +sickness, or death of the resident Curate or Missionary. +Notwithstanding, Maria Monk delineates to the life, the prominent +features, the exact figure, and the obvious characteristic exterior +habits and personal appearance of more than one hundred and fifty of +those Priests, scattered about in all parts of Canada; Among others she +particularly specifies the following men: but some of whom she notes as +dead. Others she has named, but as her recollections of them are less +distinct, they are not enumerated. Jean Jacques Lartigue, Bishop of +Telmese, Montreal. The Irish Priest McMahon, who has resided both in +Montreal and Quebec. M. Dufrense, St. Nicholas. L. Cadieux, Vicar +General, Three Rivers. F. F. Marcoux, Maskinonge. S. N. Dumoulin, +Yamachiche. A. Leclerc, Yomaska. V. Fournier, Baie du Febre. J. Demers, +St. Gregoire. C. B. Courtain, Gentilly. T. Pepin, St. Jean. Ignace +Bourget, Montreal. The Priest Moor, Missionary. J. C. Prince, Montreal. +J. M. Sauvage, Montreal. J. Comte, Montreal. J. H. A. Roux, Vicar +General, Montreal. J. Roque, Montreal. A. Malard, Montreal. A. L. +Hubart, Montreal. A. Satin, Montreal. J. B. Roupe, Montreal. Nic. +Dufresne, Montreal. J. Richard, Montreal. C. Fay, Montreal. J. B. St. +Pierre, Montreal. F. Bonin, P. Phelan, Montreal. T. B. M'Mahon, Perce. +J. Marcoux, Caghuawaga. C. De Bellefeuille, Lake of two Mountains. +Claude Leonard, Montreal. F. Durocher, Lake of two Mountains. G. +Belmont, St. Francis. F. Demers, Vicar General, St. Denis. J. O. +Giroux, St. Benoit. J. B. St. Germain, St. Laurent. J. D. Delisle, St. +Cesaire. J. M. Lefebvre, St. Genevieve. F. Pigeon, St. Philippe. A. +Duransau, Lachine. O. Chevrefils, St. Constant. Joseph Quiblier, +Montreal. Francis Humbert, Montreal. J. Arraud, Montreal. O. +Archambault, Montreal. J. Larkin, Montreal. F. Sery, Montreal. R. +Larre, Montreal. A. Macdonald, Montreal. F. Larkin, Montreal. J. +Beauregard, Montreal. R. Robert, Montreal. J. Fitz Patrick, Montreal. +J. Toupin, Montreal. W. Baun, Montreal. T. Filiatreault. Montreal. J. +Brady, Montreal. P. Trudel, St. Hyacinth. John Grant, St. Hyacinth. J. +Delaire, Chambly. J. Desautels, Chambly. P. D. Ricard, St. Joachim. +Jan. Leclaire, Isle Jesus. F. M. Turcot, St. Rose. C. Larocque, +Berthier, T. Brassard, St. Elizabeth. J. B. Keller, St. Elizabeth. J. +Ravienne, Lanorate. J. T. Gagno, Valtrie. Gasford Guingner, St. +Melanie. L. Nicholas Jacques, St. Sulpice. J. Renucalde, St. Jaques. T. +Can, St. Esprit. C. J. Ducharme, St. Therese. J. Valliee, St. +Scholastique. J. J. Vinet, Arganteuil. M. Power, Beauharnois. J. B. +Labelle, Chateauguay. E. Bietz, St. Constant. P. Bedard, St. Remi. C. +Aubry, St. Athanase. L. Vinet, Noyon. J. Roque, Noyon. J. Zeph, Carren. +F. Berauld, St. Valentia. A. Maresseau, Longueuil. P. Brunet, ----. J. +Odelin, Rounilli. J. B. Dupuis, ----. L. Nau, Rouville. A. O. Giroux, +St. Marc. G. Marchesseau, ----. J. B. Belanger, St. Ours. H. Marcotte, +Isle du Pads. E. Crevier, Yamaska. G. Arsonault, ----. Eusebe Durocher, +----. D. Denis, St. Rosalie. F. X. Brunet, St. Damase. J.A. Boisond, +St. Pie. M. Quintal, St. Damase. L. Aubry, Points Calire. P. Tetro, +Beauharnois. B. Ricard, St. Constant. M. Morin, Maskonche. J. Crevier, +Blairfindie. P. Grenier, Charteaguay. A. Darocher, Pointe aux Trembles. +P. Murcure, La Presentation. R. Gaulin, Dorchester. H. L. Girouard, St. +Hyacinthe. J. Paquin, Blairfinde. E. Brassard, St. Polycarpe. J. +Boissonnault, Riviere des Prairies. F. N. Blanchet, Soulanges. E. +Lavoie, Blairfindie. J. B. Kelly, Sorel. E. Morriset, St. Cyprian. H. +Hudon, Argenteuil. M. Brudet, St. Martin. P. P. Archambault, Vaudreuil. +J. B. Boucher, La Prairie. J. Quevillion, St. Ours. A. Chaboillez, +Longueuil. P. J. Delamothe, St. Scholastique. T. Lagard, St. Vincent. +J. Durocher, St. Benoit. Antoine Tabeau, Vicar General, Montreal. J. F. +Hebard, St. Ours. F. A. Trudeau, Montreal. M. J. Felix, St. Benoit. L. +Lamothe, Bethier. J. Moirier, St. Anne. F. J. Deguise, Vicar General, +Varennes. J. B. Bedard, St. Denis. R. O. Brunsau, Vercheres. F. +Portier, Terrebonne. P. D. Ricard, Berthier. L. Gague, Lachenaie. +Joseph Belanger, Chambly. M. Blanchet, St. Charles. P. M. Mignault, +Chambly. F. Labelle, L'Assumption. F. Marcoux, St. Barthelemi. N. L. +Amiot, Repentigny. J. B. Boucher, Chambly. P. Lafranc, St. Jean +Baptiste. P. Robitaille, Monnie. F. De Bellefeullie, St. Vincent. M. +Brassard, St. Elizabeth. P. Cousigny, St. Mathias. J. D. Daule, Quebec. + +It is readily admitted, that any person could take one of the +Ecclesiastical Registers of Lower Canada, and at his option mark any +number of the Roman Priests in the catalogue, and impute to them any +crime which he pleased. But if the accuser were closely examined, and +among such a multitude of Priests, who in all their clothing are +dressed alike, were called upon minutely to delineate them, it is +morally impossible, that he could depict more than a hundred Priests +dispersed from the borders of Upper Canada to Quebec, in as many +different parishes, with the most perfect accuracy, unless he was +personally and well acquainted with them. + +Maria Monk, however, does most accurately describe all the Priests in +the preceding catalogue, and repeats them at the expiration of weeks +and months; and the question is this: how is it possible that she could +have become acquainted with so many of that body, and by what means can +she so precisely depict their external appearance?--The startling, but +the only plausible answer which can be given to that question is +this:--that she has seen them in the Nunnery, whither, as she +maintains, most of them constantly resorted for licentious intercourse +with the Nuns. + +One other connected fact may here be introduced. Maria Monk well knows +the Lady Superior of the Charlestown Nunnery. That acquaintance could +not have been made in the United States, because Saint Mary St. George +as she called herself, or Sarah Burroughs, daughter of the notorious +Stephen Burroughs, as is her real name, removed to Canada at the latter +end of May, 1835; nor could it have been prior to the establishment of +the Charlestown Nunnery, for at that period Maria Monk was a child, and +was not in any Convent except merely as a scholar; and Mary St. George +was at Quebec. How then did she become so familiar with that far-famed +lady as to be able to describe her so exactly? The only answer is, that +she derived her knowledge of the Charlestown Convent and of its +Superior, from the intimations given, and from intercourse with that +Nun in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +Young females often have been sent to the Nunneries in Canada under the +fallacious hope of obtaining for them, a superior education; and very +frequently, they are suddenly removed after being there but a short +period; because the persons to whose partial guardianship they are +committed perceive that they are in danger of being ensnared by the +Chaplain and his female Syrens. + +But there are two other particulars in American Nunneries, the +toleration of which almost surpasses credibility. + +In reference to girls, they are permitted to visit their friends, even +when they reside in the vicinity of the Convent, only for an hour or +two monthly--if their relatives are at a distance, they see them only +during the annual vacation, and often remain in the Nunnery during that +term. No correspondence is permitted between the mother, the guardian, +the sister, or the friends of the young female in the Nunnery School, +on either side, without the inspection of the argus-eyed agent of the +Institution. Parental advice, filial complaints, and confidential +communications are equally arrested; and only furnish to the Superiors +of the establishment, artifices to thwart the Seniors, to entangle the +Juniors, and effectually to cajole both parties. Consequently, it +generally happens, that from one term to another, little or no +intercourse exists between the youth and her relatives; and it is +indubitable, that where any letters do nominally pass between them, +they are forgeries; the real letters being surreptitiously detained. +Those felonious regulations furnish ample scope for the initiation of +girls just entering upon womanhood, into all the wickedness of the +Nunnery; while the girls themselves are unconscious of the design, and +the Nuns, those nefarious artificers of the iniquity, in subserviency +to the Priests, in case of necessity, can exculpate themselves +apparently from all participation in the treachery and crimes. + +In the nunneries and conventual schools in the United States there is a +sort of fairy land, talked about by the nuns to the elder girls. It is +called the "Nuns' Island." That country is always described as an +earthly paradise; and to girls who are manifestly fascinated by the +witcheries of the nuns, and in whom moral sensibility has become +blunted by the unmeaning superstitions which they witness, and which +they mechanically perform, a visit to the "Nuns' Island," is always +proposed as the greatest privilege, and the most costly reward, which +can be given for constant obsequiousness to the nuns, and unreserved +compliance with their requirements. The term "Nuns' Island," is thus +used to express the nunneries in Canada, and probably some similar +institutions in the United States, where they are not too difficult of +access. At all events, girls just entering upon the character of women, +after proper training, are finally gratified with a visit to the "Nuns' +Island." They are taken to Montreal, and in the nunneries there are at +once taught "the mystery of iniquity;" in all the living reality which +Maria Monk describes. Those girls from the United States, who are +represented as novices; in Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," were young +ladies from the United States, who had been decoyed to visit the "Nuns' +Island," and who, not being Papists, often were found very intractable; +but posterior circumstances enforce the belief, that having found +resistance vain, they had not returned to their school where they were +duly qualified to continue the course into which they had been coerced, +so as fully to elude all possibility of discovery and exposure. That +mother who intrusts her daughter to a nunnery school, is chargeable +with the high crime of openly conducting her into the chambers of +pollution, and the path to irreligion, and the bottomless pit. + +These combined circumstances satisfactorily prove that, the narrative +of Maria Monk should be believed by all impartial persons; at least, +until other evidence can be adduced, and the offer of exploring the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, by the New York Protestant Association, has been +accepted and decided. + +3. Additional evidence of the truth of Maria Monk's narrative is +deduced from _the exact conformity of the facts which she states +concerning the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, when compared with the authoritative +principles of the Jesuit Priesthood as recorded in their own duly +sanctioned volumes_. It is essential to remark, that of those books she +knows nothing; that she has never seen one of them, and if she could +grasp them, that they would impart no illumination to her mind, being +in Latin; and yet in many momentous particulars, neither Lartigue nor +any one of the Jesuit Priests now in Montreal, who was educated in +France, could more minutely and accurately furnish an exposition or +practical illustration of the atrocious themes, than Maria Monk has +unconsciously done. + +Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," are reducible to three classes: +intolerable sensuality; diversified murder; and most scandalous +mendacity: comprehending flagrant, and obdurate, and unceasing +violations of the sixth, seventh, and ninth commandments. + +_The ninth commandment:_ FALSEHOOD. Of this baseness, five specimens +only shall suffice. + +_Sanchez_, a very renowned author, in his work on "Morality and the +Precepts of the Decalogue," part 2, book 3, chap. 6, no. 13, thus +decides: "A person may take an oath that he has not done any certain +thing, though in fact he has. This is extremely convenient, and is also +_very just_, when necessary to your health, honour, and prosperity!" +_Charli_, in his Propositions, no. 6, affirms that, "He who is not +bound to state the truth before swearing, is not bound by his oath." +_Taberna_ in his vol. 2, part 2, tract 2, chap. 31, p. 288, asks: "Is a +witness bound to declare the truth before a lawful judge?" To which he +replies: "No, if his deposition will injure himself or his posterity." +_Laymann_, in his works, book 4, tract 2, chap. 2, p. 73, proclaims: +"It is not sufficient for an oath, that we use the formal words, if we +had not the intention and will to swear, and do not _sincerely_ invoke +God as a witness." All those principles are sanctioned by _Suarez_ in +his "Precepts of Law," book 3, chap. 9, assertion 2, p. 473, where he +says, "If any one has promised or contracted without intention to +promise, and is called upon oath to answer, may simply answer, NO; and +may swear to that denial." + +The idea of obtaining truth, therefore, from a thorough-going Papist, +upon any subject in which his "_honour_" is concerned--and every +Papist's honour is indissolubly conjoined with "the Church"--is an +absurdity so great, that it cannot be listened to with patience, while +the above decisions are the authorised dogmas which the Roman Priests +inculcate among their followers. How well the nuns of Montreal have +imbibed those Jesuitical instructions, Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" +amply reveal. + +_The Sixth Commandment:_ MURDER. The following miscellaneous decisions +are extracted from the works of the regularly sanctioned Roman authors, +of the very highest character and rank in that community. + +In his famous volume called "Aphorisms," p. 178, _Emmanuel Sa_ +writes--"You may kill any person who may be able to put you to +death--judge and witnesses--because it is self-defence." + +_Henriquez_, in his "Sum of Moral Theology," vol. 1, book 14, chap. 10, +p. 859, decides that "a Priest is not criminal, if he kill the husband +of a woman with whom he is caught in adultery." + +_Airault_ published a number of propositions. One of them says, that "a +person may secretly kill another who attempts to destroy his +reputation, although the facts are true which he published." The +following must be cited in Latin. "An lieitium sit mulieri procurare +abortum? Posset ilium excutere, ne honorem suum amittat, qui illi multo +pretiosior est ipsa vita." "An liceat mulieri conjugatae sumere +pharmacum sterilitatis? Ita satius est ut hoc faciat, quam ut marito +debitium conjugale recuset." Censures 319, 322, 327. + +In his Moral Theology, vol. 4, book 32, sec. 2, problem 5, _Escobar_ +determines, that "it is lawful to kill an accuser whose testimony may +jeopard your life and honour." + +_Guimenius_ promulged his seventh Proposition in these words: "You may +charge your opponent with false crimes to destroy his credit; and you +may also kill him." + +_Marin_ wrote a book called "Speculative and Moral Theology." In vol. +3, tract 23, disputation 8, sec. 5, no. 63, p. 448, are found the +following sentences: "Licet procurare abortum, ne puella infametur." +That doctrine is admitted, "to evade personal disgrace, and _to conceal +the infamy of Monks and Nuns_." no. 67, p. 429. In no. 75, p. 430, of +the same work, _Marin_ writes: "Navarrus, Arragon, Bannez, Henriquez,, +Sa, Sanchez, Palao, and others, all say, that a woman may use not only +missione sanguinis, sed aliis medicamentis, etsi inde pereat foetus." +With that doctrine also agrees _Egidius_, in his "Explication of the +Decalogue," vol. 5, book 5, chap. 1, doubt 4; and _Diana_ in his work +upon Morality, part 6, tract 8, resolution 27, fully ratifies his +sanction. + +_Gobatus_ published a work which he entitled, "Morality," and in vol. +2, part 2, tract 5, chap. 9, sec. 8, p. 318, is the following +_edifying_ specimen of Popish morals: "Persons may innocently desire to +be drunk, if any great good will arise from it. A son who inherits +wealth by his father's death, may rejoice that when he is intoxicated, +he murdered his father." According to which combined propositions, a +man may make himself drunk expressly to kill his parent, and yet be +guiltless. + +_Busenbaum_ wrote a work denominated "Moral Theology." which was +enlarged and explained by _Lacroix_. In vol. 1, p. 295, is the +following position: "In all the cases where a man has a right to kill +any person, another may do it for him." But we have already heard by +_Escobar_ that any "Roman Priest has a right to kill Maria Monk; and +therefore any Papist may murder her for them." + +_Alagona_, in his "Compend of the Sum of Theology," by Thomas Aquinas, +question 94, p. 230, "Sums" up all the Romish system in this +comprehensively blasphemous oracular adage. "_By the command of God, it +is lawful to murder the innocent, to rob, and to commit lewdness; and +thus to fulfil his mandate, is our duty_." + +_The seventh commandment._--In his Aphorisms, p. 80, and p. 259, _Sa_ +thus decides--"Copulari ante benedictionem, aut nullam aut leve +peceatum est; quin etiam expedit, si multum isla differatur."--"Potest +et femina quaeque et mas, pro turpi corporis usu, pretium, accipere et +petere." + +_Hurtado_ issued a volume of "Disputations and Difficulties." At p. 476 +is the following genuine Popish rule of life--"Carnal intercourse +before marriage is not unlawful." So teaches that Jesuit oracle. + +_Dicastillo_, in his work upon "Righteousness and other cardinal +Virtues," p. 87, thus asks--"An puella, quae per vin opprimitur +teneatur clamare et opem implorare ne violetur?" The answer is +this--"Non videtur teneri impedire peccatum alterius--sed mere passive +se habere." + +_Escobar_, in his "Moral Theology," p. 326, 327, 328, of vol. 4, +determines that "a man who abducts a woman from affection expressly to +marry her, is guilty of mortal sin, but a Priest who forcibly violates +her through lust, incurs no censure." + +_Tamburin_ unfolds the character of Romanism in his "Moral Theology," +p. 186, in a lengthened discussion of the following characteristic +inquiry--"Quantum pro usu corporis sui juste exigat mulier?"--The reply +is, "de meretrice et de femina honesta sive conjugata, ant non." + +_Fegeli_ wrote a book of "Practical Questions;" and on p. 397, is the +following--"Under what obligation is he who defiles a virgin?"--The +answer is this--"Besides the obligation of penance, he incurs none; +quia puella habet jus usum sui corporis concedendi." + +_Trachala_ published a volume which he facetiously entitled the "Laver +of Conscience;" and at p. 96, he presents us with this astounding +recipe to purify the conscience--"An Concubinarius sit absolvendus +antequam concubinam dimittat?" To which he replies--"Si ilia concubina +sit valde bona et utilis economa, et sic nullam aliam possit habere, +esset absolvendus." + +From the prior decisions, combined with numberless others which might +be extracted from the works of the Romish authors, it is obvious, that +the violations of the seventh commandment, are scarcely enumerated by +the Papal priesthood among venial sins. Especially if we consider the +definition of a prostitute by the highest Popish authority: for in the +Decretals, Distinction 34, in the Gloss, is found this savory +adage--"Meretrix est quae, admiserit plures quam viginti tria hominum +millia!" That is the infallible attestation to the truth of Maria +Monk's "Awful Disclosures." + +4. The antecedent narrative of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, is confirmed by +the universal and constant practice of Roman Priests in all Convents. +Among the works of William Huntington, is a correspondence between +himself and a young lady who was converted by his ministry. The seventh +letter from Miss M. contains the following passage:-- + +_"It is a shame for women to approach those confessionals._ If they +were never wise in scenes of iniquity before, the priest will instruct +them, by asking the most filthy questions. I was confined to my bed +three days from my first confession; and thought I would never go +again, being so abashed by the abominations he had put in my head. I +would just as soon recommend scalding water to cure Anthony's-fire, or +a wet bed in an ice-house to cure an ague, as recommend a sinner to +those accursed lies, Roman penance, and Auricular Confession."--The +mental purity of Nuns consists in a life totally "contrary to the laws +of God, of modesty, of decency. They are constantly exposed to the +obscene interrogations, and the lewd actions of the Priests. +Notwithstanding God has fixed a bar on every female mind, it is broken +through by the Priests putting questions to them upon those subjects, +as the scripture declares, which ought not to be named? The uncommon +attractions of the young women in Convents generally indicate the +greatest unchastity among them. I have known girls, sent for education +to the Convent where I was, who regularly stripped themselves of every +thing they could obtain from their friends; which, by the artful +insinuations of the Nuns, was given to them and the Priests. The Roman +priesthood may well be called a sorceress, and their doctrine 'the wine +of fornication,' for nothing but the powers of darkness could work up +the young female mind to receive it; unless by the subtlety of the +devil, and the vile artifices of the Nuns. I shudder at the idea of +young ladies going into a Convent; and also at parents who send their +children to be educated in a Nunnery; where their daughters are +entrapped by the Nuns into the snare of the Priests, with whom they are +accomplices, and for whom the most subtle of them are decoys, whose +feigned sanctity is only a cover for the satanic arts of which they are +complete mistresses, and by which, through the delusions of the mother +of harlots, being buried alive within the walls of a Convent, they +'drink of the wine of her fornication,' until their souls pass into the +pit of destruction."--The above extract is from the seventh letter of +"Correspondence between Miss M. and Mr. H." in Huntington's Works; and +exposes the Nunneries in France. + +George D. Emeline, who had been a Popish Priest, in his "Eight +Letters," giving an account of his "Journey into Italy," thus details +the nature of the intimacy which then existed between the Priests and +Nuns on the European Continent. "A young Monk at Milan, Preacher to the +Benedictine Nuns, when he addressed them, added to almost every +sentence in his discourse, 'my most dear and lovely sisters, whom I +love from the deepest bottom of my heart.' When a monk becomes Preacher +or Chaplain to a Nunnery, his days are passed in constant +voluptuousness; for the Nuns will gratify their Confessor in every +thing, that he may be equally indulgent to them." Emeline's Letters, p. +313. + +"A regular Abbot of a Monastery in Italy, talking with me said--'Melius +est habere nullam quam aliquem--It is better to have none than any +woman.' I asked him what he meant; he replied, 'Because, when a person +is not tied to one, he may make use of many;' and his practice was +conformable to his doctrine; for he slept in the same bed with three +young women every night. He was a most insatiable Exactor and Oppressor +of the people who rented the lands of the Abbey, in consequence of +which the Farmers complained of him to the Archbishop of the District. +The Archbishop sent the Provost, the Farmers, and sixty of the +serjeants at night, to seize him and his female companions. They took +the Abbot in bed, and having put on him a morning-gown; and having tied +his three concubines and himself back to back, placed them in a cart, +and conducted them to the Archbishop's residence, in Bonnonia: who then +refused to judge him; but sent him and his females to the Monastery of +_Saint_ Michael; into which, with some difficulty, he was admitted +after midnight, in consequence of the Provost assuring the Friars, that +if they would not receive the Abbot, they would procure his prelatical +dress, and escort him and the young women in procession through the +city, and back to his own Monastery the same day at noon. The females +were ordered away, and the Abbot was appointed to remain in his +monastery for fifteen days for penance, until the story had ceased to +circulate. I was an eyewitness of that myself, when I was in the +Monastery of St. Michael in the wood."--Emeline's Letters, pp. 387, +388, 389. + +That the Nunneries in Portugal, as well as among those people in India +who are subject to the Romish priesthood, are of the same character +precisely, as Maria Monk describes the Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +proved by Victorin de Faria, who had been a Brahman in India; and who +afterward resided as a regular Roman Priest in the Paulist Monastery at +Lisbon. + +"The regular Priests in India," says Faria, "have become what the +bonzes where in Japan. The Nuns were the disciples of Diana, and the +nunneries seraglios for the monks; as I have proved to be the case in +Lisbon, by facts concerning those nuns who were more often in the +family way than common women. The Jesuits in the Indies made themselves +Brahmans in order to enjoy the privileges of that caste, whose +idolatrous rites and superstitious practices they also externally +adopted."--Among other privileges which they possessed, Faria +enumerates the following, as detailed from his own prior experience as +a Brahman. "Never to be put to death for any crime whatever; and to +enjoy the favours of every woman who pleased them, for a Priest +sanctifies the woman upon whom he bestows his attentions." That is the +true Papist doctrine, as shown by Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures;" +confirmed by the Canadian carpenter in Mr. Johnson's house at Montreal; +and ratified by Pope Gregory XIII. in the Decretals and Canons, in the +Corpus Juris Canonici. Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de +Ricci. p. 217. + +The Nunneries in Italy during the present generation are of the same +description. Maria Catharine Barni, Maria Magdalen Sicini, and Victoire +Benedetti, of the Nunnery called Santa Croce: all acknowledged, that +they had been seduced at confession, and that they had habitually +maintained criminal intercourse with a Priest called Pacchiani, who +absolved his guilty companions after the commission of their crimes. +Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 60, 61. + +Six Nuns of the Convent of Catharine at Pistoia declared that the +Priests who visited the Convent committed a "thousand indecorous acts. +They utter the worst expressions, saying that we should look upon it as +a great happiness, that we have the power of satisfying our appetites +without the annoyance of children; and that we should not hesitate to +take our pleasures. Men, who have contrived to get the keys, come into +the Convent during the night, which they have spent in the most +dissipated manner." That is the precise delineation of the Canadian +Nunneries; into which other men besides Priests are admitted, if the +parties are willing to pay the entrance bribe to the Chaplain.--Secrets +of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 80, 81. + +Flavia Perraccini, Prioress of the Nunnery of Catharine of Pistoia, +revealed what she knew of that and other Nunneries. All the Priests +"are of the same character. They all have the same maxims and the same +conduct. They are on more intimate terms with the nuns than if they +were married to them. It is the same at Lucia, at Pisa, at Prato, and +at Perugia. The Superiors do not know even the smallest part of the +enormous wickedness that goes on between the Monks and the +Nuns."--Secrets of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. p. 93. That statement +is so exactly conformed to Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," that were +it not a fact that she had never seen Scipio de Ricci's work it might +almost be supposed that some part of her narrative had been transcribed +from it. + +Foggini of Rome, also wrote to Scipio de Ricci and informed him--"I +know a monastery in which a Jesuit used to make the Nuns lift up their +clothes, assuring them that they thereby performed an act of virtue, +because they overcame a natural repugnance."--Secrets of Nunneries, p. +101. That is a very extraordinary illustration of the turpitude of the +Roman Priesthood; because that doctrine is a principle which they +constantly inculcate; and such is the invariable practice in the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, that the Nuns were obliged to fulfil, for the beastly +gratification of the Roman Priests who visited that house, which is +"the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:27. + +It is superfluous to multiply similar extracts. Scipio de Ricci was a +Popish prelate, regularly commissioned by the Grand Duke of Tuscany to +explore the Nunneries; and in consequence of his authentic +developments, the Jesuits and Dominicans, and the dignified Papal +ecclesiastics, with the two Popes, Pius VI. and Pius VII. all opposed, +reviled, condemned and worried him almost to death. + +One quotation more shall close this survey. Pope Paul III. maintained +at Rome, forty-five thousand courtesans. Pope Sixtus IV. ordered a +number of edifices to be erected expressly for the accommodation of the +semi-Nuns of Rome, from whose impurity he derived a large annual +revenue, under the form of a license; besides which, the prices of +absolution for the different violations of the seventh commandment are +as regularly fixed as the value of beads, soul-masses, blessed water, +and every other article of Popish manufacture. Paolo, Hist. Council de +Trent. Book I. Anno 1637. + +The preceding observations, it is believed, will remove the doubts from +the mind of every impartial inquirer, respecting the credibility of +Maria Monk's narrative: nevertheless, a few additional remarks may not +be irrelevant: especially as there is a marvellous skepticism in +reference to the admission of valid testimony concerning the Roman +priesthood, their system and practice. We are deafened with clamour for +proof to substantiate Maria Monk's history: but that demand is +tantamount to the declaration--"I will not believe." + +In anticipation of speedy death, and an immediate appearance at the +dread tribunal of Jehovah, Maria Monk communicated to Mr. Tappan, the +Chaplain at Bellevue, one of the benevolent institutions belonging to +the city of New York, the principal facts in her "Awful Disclosures." +After her unexpected recovery, she personally appeared at Montreal, +expressly and openly, to promulge her allegations of atrocious crimes +against the chief Roman Ecclesiastics in that city, who were armed with +power, and having nearly all the population her infuriated enemies. +There she remained almost four weeks, constantly daring the Roman +Priests and Nuns in vain. It is true, Dr. Robertson in his affidavit +says, that he was willing "to take the necessary steps for a full +investigation, if a direct charge were made against any particular +individual of a criminal nature." Now if Maria Monk's charges are not +direct, OF A CRIMINAL NATURE, and against PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS--what +charges can be so characterized? The fact is this:--Dr. Robertson would +no more dare to issue a warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, or +any of the inferior Roman Priests in Montreal, than he would dare +publicly to strike the Commander of the Garrison, or the Governor of +Canada upon military parade. If any Papist had stated to him the same +facts concerning a Protestant, or Protestant Minister, and offered to +confirm them by his worthless oath, he would have issued his process at +once; but Dr. Robertson knows, that in the present state of Canadian +society, Roman Priests can do what they please; and no man dares to +reprove, much less to "take any necessary steps for a full +investigation" for their crimes. If the Jesuits and Nuns at Montreal +are anxious for a full and impartial scrutiny of the Hotel Dieu +Convent, Maria Monk is ready to oblige them with some facilities for +that object; provided she may carry them out to all their extent and +application. Mr. Ogden has one affidavit, and knows the whole matter; +as can incontestably be proved by Mr. A. P. Hart, an Attorney of +Montreal; and we recommend Dr. Robertson to issue his warrant for the +apprehension of Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, they are +enough to begin with; and if Mr. Ogden will carry the facts with which +he is acquainted to the Grand Jury, one witness in New York is ready to +appear; and Dr. Robertson will find his hands full of employment, if he +will only "take the necessary steps" to procure two or three persons +who shall be pointed out to him in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. Therefore, +until Dr. Robertson commences some incipient measures as a Magistrate +towards "the necessary steps for a full investigation," as he says, we +shall be forced to believe, that the printer made a mistake in his +affidavit, and put willing for _unwilling_. + +The cavilling call, however, for additional evidence to be adduced by +Maria Monk, is manifestly futile. That testimony is within the +jurisdiction of the Priests alone who are criminated. Maria Monk +reiterates her charge against the Romish Ecclesiastics of Canada and +their Nuns; and she has solemnly sworn that they are true. What more +can she do? Nothing, but to _search the premises_, to see whether the +statements which she has made are correct. A Committee of the New York +Protestant Association are willing to accompany her to Montreal; to +walk through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in company with any Gentlemen of +Montreal, and investigate the truth without favour or partiality, Maria +Monk is willing to submit the whole affair to that short, and easy, and +sensible test; in which there is no possibility of deception. It does +not depend upon credibility of witnesses, conflicting evidence, +personal friendship, or religions prejudices; it is reduced at once to +that unerring criterion; _the sight and the touch!_ + +But, it is retorted, that will not be granted; then we repeat another +proposal: let the Priest Conroy come forth girded in all the panoply of +the Roman court, and appear as the champion of the Canadian Jesuits; +let him institute an action, civil or criminal, or both, against the +publishers of such atrocious crimes, which, as they pretend, are +falsely alleged against the Roman Priests. If Lartigue and his Montreal +inferior priests are implicated in the most nefarious felonies, Maria +Monk has published him as a virtuous accomplice. Why does he not put +her truth to the test, by subjecting her to a criminal process? Why +does he not commence a suit against the Booksellers who published her +"Awful Disclosures?"--Ah! if Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, +with their brethren, Conroy, Phelan, Kelly and Quarter, were coerced to +keep Lent, and live only upon _soup-maigre_, until that day arrives, +they would not much longer portray in their exterior, that they live +upon the fat of the land; but they would vociferously whine out--"Mea +culpa! O mea grandis culpa! O mea grandissima culpa! Peccava! Peccavi! +Peccavi!" + + + + +APPENDIX. + +RECEPTION OF THE FIRST EDITIONS. + + +I have now reached the close of what appeared in my first editions. +Some of my readers may feel a wish to know what has been said of me and +my book, by those whose characters or connexions it exposes. Different +persons have expressed to me their fears that I should be kidnapped, +stabbed or poisoned; but of this I have had but little apprehension. +Others may suppose that the priests of Montreal, and some of those in +New York, against whom I have made different charges, may have appeared +against me in ways of which they are ignorant, and have published +facts, or used arguments of serious import, if not of decided force. +For the information of my readers, I have determined, though at some +inconvenience, to lay before them a fair view of what they have done. + +I was well convinced before the publication of my first book, that the +priests would do or say very little against me or my work; and several +persons can testify, that I made declarations of this kind, with +distinctness, in their presence. The reasons I gave for this opinion +were these,--that they feared an investigation, and that they feared +further disclosures. They must desire to keep the public mind calm, and +diverted with other matters; and to avoid increasing my will. + +There were individuals, I was well aware, both in and _out_ of the +nunnery, and Seminary, who, from the first notice of the appearance of +my book, would be extremely disquieted, until they had ascertained the +extent to which my developments reached. When they had read for +themselves, I well knew, they would enjoy a temporary relief, finding +that my "Disclosures" were not the most "awful" which they had reason +to expect. + +I also felt, that they would apprehend something further from me; and +that a dread of this would probably keep them quiet, or confine them to +general denials of my story. And this has been the case, even to so +great a degree, that the remark has been often repeated--how feeble is +their defence! Why did they not rather remain silent than do so +little--that which is for them worse than nothing? The causes of this I +could assign. The world does not understand them all. + +Three principal grounds of opposition have been taken against me by my +enemies--1st, That I had never been in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery: 2d, That +my character entitled me to no confidence; 3d, That my book was copied, +"word for word, and letter for letter," from an old European work, +called "The Gates of Hell opened." Besides these grounds, several +others have been attempted, but less seriously supported--such as that +I was deranged, or subject to occasional alienation of mind; and that I +was not Maria Monk, but a counterfeit of a person by that name, still +in Canada, and, as some said, in the Black Nunnery. + +With regard to the first of these grounds, I will here simply say, that +it has been, beyond controversy, the principal one, but has recently +been abandoned. The great object of the six affidavits, published in +Montreal in November, 1835, and republished here soon after the +publication of my book, was to prove that I had never been a nun--not +even a novice. The reader may judge for himself, for those affidavits +are published in full in this volume, and they are the only ones which +have been published against me. The reader will also see in an extract +from the New York Catholic Diary of March last that that fact is +admitted; and by a later extract from it, that a Canadian priest who +takes the trouble to write from Sherbrooke, has no new testimony to +refer to. + +As to my character, I never claimed the confidence of the American +people, (as the Roman priests do,) on a pretence of a peculiar holiness +of life. That would have been unreasonable in a stranger, and +especially one who had been in a nunnery. My first editions, as well as +the present, bear witness that I appealed to the evidence of facts +which no one could controvert if once produced--an examination of the +interior of my late prison. Not a lisp has yet been heard of assent to +my proposition. The Protestant Association have published a challenge, +for several weeks, which is on another page among the extracts--but no +one has accepted it, and I will venture to say, no one will. + +My publishers, on seeing the assertion made by the editor of the Boston +(Roman Catholic) Pilot, that my book was a mere copy from an old +European work, called "The Gates of Hell opened," published an offer of +$100 for any book so resembling it--without success. If there be any +volume on earth which contains the developments of any fugitive nun, +whose case resembled my own, I should expect to merit such a title as +the above; and I should know how to excuse the author for using so +strong an expression, after struggling, as I have had to do, in giving +my own narrative, with those feelings which are so apt to arise in my +heart at the recollection of scenes I have passed through. The opening +of the Gates of Hell, whether in a European or a Canadian Convent, may +probably disclose scenes very like to each other; but if there be any +resemblance between my book and any other in the world, I solemnly +declare that it can be owing only to a resemblance between the things +described in both, as not a sentence has been copied from any book +whatever, and I defy the editor of the Boston Pilot--(not to perjure +himself, as he gratuitously proposed--but to do what would be at once +much more difficult and satisfactory)--produce his book, or a single +page of it. + +I have been charged with occasional alienation of mind--a very strong +evidence, I should think, of my being a nun; for what eloped nun ever +escaped that charge? Like converted Roman Catholics, run-away nuns are +commonly pronounced to be out of their wits, or under the influence of +evil spirits, of course, on the ground that it is proved by the fact +itself. + +As to my being the real Maria Monk or not, I presume the testimony of +some of my old school-mates, now in New York, will pass. To these, +however, it cannot be necessary to resort, otherwise the Montreal +affidavits will be good for nothing. + +I will now proceed to give _the whole_ of the testimony which has been +brought out against me. A few remarks, necessary to acquaint the reader +with the progress of things, will be given in their place. Next to +these will appear the testimony of several persons, who have +voluntarily presented themselves, since the publication of my first +edition, claimed acquaintance with me, and volunteered their testimony. +I need not say how gratifying I have found such spontaneous marks of +kindness, from friends, whose reedy and unsolicited appearance is a +real favour to me, although chiefly due, as they declare, to their love +of truth and justice. + +Almost immediately after the appearance of my "Awful Disclosures," the +following anonymous handbill was distributed through the city of New +York. It was also published in the Catholic Diary, and other papers, +with violent denunciations. + +"_Maria Monk! Villany Exposed._ + +"_L'Amidu Peuple_, a Montreal paper, gives us the _denouement_ of the +tale of scandal which the _Protestant Vindicator_, Christian Herald, +_et id genus omne_, put forward a few months since, and which the +Protestant Editors of three political journals in Montreal, at once +indignantly repelled without knowing its origin. Instead of an eloped +Nun, recounting the horrors of the Convent, the heroine of the tale is +a Protestant young girl, who has been for four years past under +protection of a Mr. Hoyte, once styled a Reverend Methodist Preacher, +and connected with Canadian Sunday Schools. The paper quoted above, +gives, at full length, the affidavits of the mother of the girl, who is +also a Protestant, and of several other individuals, who had no motive +to favour Catholic Institutions. The disconsolate mother testifies on +oath that she had been solicited by the seducer of her child to swear +that she was a Nun, and that the father of the infant was a Catholic +Clergyman--that a promise had been made her of a comfortable provision +for herself, and for her unfortunate child and offspring--if she would +only do that. The poor woman had virtue enough to reject the base +proposal; and thus, the Rev. Mr. Hoyte, who had returned from New York +for this purpose, accompanied, it is stated, by the Rev. Mr. Brewster +and Judge Turner, failed in the object of his visit. + +"A Methodist Preacher of the place immediately disclaimed all +connection of the society with Mr. Hoyte, and in a letter, published in +the papers, expressed his regret that any credit had been given to a +foul charge, emanating from a source so polluted."--_Catholic Herald_. + +The affidavits will be published as soon as they shall be received from +Canada. Maria Monk's Book, far from injuring the Catholic religion, +will promote it; for the publication is a real _disclosure_ of the +wickedness and hypocrisy of its enemies, who dare to go as far as to +conceal their own crimes, by calumniating those who never did any thing +against them, and have never interfered with them. Probably the author +of this _pious book_ is a minister; and, what is more remarkable, not a +single one of the ministers has opposed it, or cautioned the people +against it, as it is their duty to do, the calumniators being of their +own congregation. However, by holding a prayer-meeting, making _a few +faces_, and giving a few affecting _turns_ to their voices, they +certainly have already washed out the awful crime of these calumnies, +because faith alone will save them, and they certainly have the true +faith, which shows itself by these true fruits of charity. They are the +elect, and consequently, they are not like the Catholic Priests, who +are all wicked. The reader may recollect the parable of the pharisee +and the publican. + + * * * * * + +"Granting the truth of Maria Monk's story, will it not reveal the +weakness of Protestant origin? Where would Protestantism be, were it +not engendered and nursed by profligate Monks and Nuns? Yes, gentlemen, +profligate Monks and Nuns have been your nursing Fathers and Mothers! +The chaste spouse of the Redeemer could hold no fellowship with such +characters. She has flung them over the fences of the 'fold,' happy to +have a sink into which to throw her filth." + +As soon as my first edition appeared, several of the newspapers of New +York referred to the publication in terms of unqualified condemnation. +Not content with giving my motives in producing it, without having seen +me, they hesitated not to pronounce it utterly false, with as much +boldness as if they had really known something more of the matter than +the public at large. A poor and injured female had disclosed to their +countrymen facts of deep interest to all; and they, without +examination, perhaps without leaving their offices to make a single +inquiry, did their utmost to decry me, and used terms which they cannot +but regret sooner or later. + +Requests were immediately made to some of them to listen to evidence, +which were not accepted. The editors of the Courier and Enquirer were +requested, in a note from the publishers, to mention in their paper +what parts of my book they intended to pronounce false, and what was +their evidence. But they took no notice of it, although desired to +publish the note. Many other editors were invited to publish +communications or extracts, but most of them refused from the first, +and all the papers were soon closed against my cause. + +In the country, the newspapers generally, I believe, followed the +example set in this city, though in Albany, Boston, and one or two +other places, a solitary one or two appeared disposed to examine the +subject. + +At length appeared the long-threatened Montreal affidavits, which are +here inserted. They were published in several Roman Catholic, and one +or two Protestant papers in New York, with this introduction-- + +_"Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' Villany exposed!!_ + +"Of all the curious pranks and fanatical schemes which the foes of +Catholicity have been playing for some years past, there is not one +that fills the mind with greater disgust than the scandalous tale given +to the public by Maria Monk and her wicked associate. + +"By the evidence which covers the following pages, the reader will see +the man himself clearly convinced of being a base calumniator, and +arch-hypocrite. He, and his associate prostitute, will be seen, with +brazen impudence, attempting to fix on the virtuous Catholic Ladies and +Catholic Priests of Montreal, the shameless character which belongs +only to themselves." + +_From the Montreal Courier,_ Nov. 16, 1835. + +"The _New York Protestant Vindicator_ of the 4th November, reiterates +its calumnies concerning the Roman Catholic Clergy and Nuns of this +city. We cherished the hope that, after the simultaneous and unanimous +expressions of disbelief and reprehension with which its extravagant +assertions had been met by the Canadian press, both Protestant and +Catholic, the conductors of that journal would have been slow to +repeat, without better evidence of their truth, the same disgraceful +charges. We have been deceived in our calculation. The fanatical print +demands _counter evidence_ before it will withdraw, or acknowledge the +falsehood of its previous statements. We believe that _counter_ +evidence has already been adduced, of a nature far surpassing, in +weight, the claims to credibility which the accusations themselves +could offer. The impure fabrication trumped up by a woman of immoral +character and insane mind, in conjunction with a man of equally +depraved habits, can never be weighed in the balance with the testimony +of Protestants, living in the same community as the accused, and, +therefore, possessing the means of judging of the truth or falsehood of +what was advanced. By any persons of less interested credulity, and of +more discriminating and moral honesty, than what the conductors of the +_Protestant Vindicator_ appear to possess, counter evidence of the +above nature would have been deemed sufficient. + +"There are two reasons which have mainly weighed with us, to revert to +the subject of the _Protestant Vindicator's_ charges, and to publish +the subjoined lengthy documents. We consider, in the first place, our +endeavours to expose falsehood as a solemn duty we owe to the defamed; +and, in the second, we should regard ourselves to be degraded in the +eyes of the world, did we live in a community where such abominations, +as are alleged, existed, and not dare, openly and loudly, to denounce +the perpetrators. + +"Under these impressions, we proceed, at a considerable sacrifice of +the space of our journal, to lay before our readers the following +affidavits, which will sufficiently disclose the nature of the +_Protestant Vindicator's_ calumnies, their origin, and the degree of +credit which can be attached to them." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF DR. ROBERTSON.) + +"William Robertson, of Montreal, Doctor in Medicine, being duly sworn +on the Holy Evangelists, deposeth and saith as follows:--On the 9th of +November, 1834, three men came up to my house, having a young female in +company with them, who, they said, was observed that forenoon, on the +bank of the Canal, near the extremity of the St. Joseph Suburbs, acting +in a manner which induced some people who saw her to think that she +intended to drown herself. They took her into a house in the +neighbourhood, where, after being there some hours, and interrogated as +to who she was, &c., she said she was the daughter of Dr. Robertson. On +receiving this information, they brought her to my house. Being from +home when they came to the door, and learning from Mrs. Robertson that +she had denied them, they conveyed her to the watch-house. Upon hearing +this story, in company with G. Auldjo, Esq., of this city. I went to +the watch-house to inquire into the affair. We found the young female, +whom I have since ascertained to be Maria Monk, daughter of W. Monk, of +this city, in custody. She said, that although she was not my daughter, +she was the child of respectable parents, in or very near Montreal, who +from some light conduct of hers, (arising from temporary insanity, to +which she was at times subject from her infancy.) had kept her confined +and chained in a cellar for the last four years. Upon examination, no +mark or appearance indicated the wearing of manacles, or any other mode +of restraint. She said, on my observing this, that her mother always +took care to cover the irons with soft cloths to prevent them injuring +the skin. From the appearance of her hands, [Footnote: Compare this +with the last sentence but one in the affidavit. Why does Dr. R. not +give names of persons and their affidavits? It has not yet been +done--April, 1836.] she evidently had not been used to work. To remove +her from the watch-house, where she was confined with some of the most +profligate women of the town, taken up for inebriety and disorderly +conduct in the streets, as she could not give a satisfactory account of +herself, I as a Justice of the Peace, sent her to jail as a vagrant. +The following morning, I went to the jail for the purpose of +ascertaining, if possible, who she was. After considerable persuasion, +she promised to divulge her story to the Rev. H. Esson, one of the +clergymen of the Church of Scotland, to whose congregation she said her +parents belonged. That gentleman did call at the jail, and ascertained +who she was. In the course of a few days she was released, and I did +not see her again until the month of August last, when Mr. Johnston, of +Griffintown, Joiner, and Mr. Cooley, of the St. Ann Suburbs, Merchant, +called upon me, about ten o'clock at night, and, after some prefatory +remarks, mentioned that the object of their visit was, to ask me, as a +magistrate, to institute an inquiry into some very serious charges +which had been made against some of the Roman Catholic Priests of that +place, and the Nuns of the General Hospital, by a female, who had been +a Nun in that Institution for four years, and who had divulged the +horrible secrets of that establishment, such as the illicit and +criminal intercourse between the Nuns and the Priests, stating +particulars of such depravacy of conduct, on the part of these people, +in this respect, and their murdering the offspring of these criminal +connexions, as soon as they were born, to the number of from thirty to +forty every year. I instantly stated, that I did not believe a word of +what they told me, and that they must have been imposed upon by some +evil-disposed and designing person. Upon inquiry who this Nun, their +informant, was, I discovered that she answered exactly the description +of Maria Monk, whom I had so much trouble about last year, and +mentioned to these individuals my suspicion, and what I knew of that +unfortunate girl. Mr. Cooley said to Mr. Johnston, let us go home, we +are hoaxed. They told me that she was then at Mr. Johnston's house, and +requested me to call there, and hear her own story. The next day, or +the day following, I did call, and saw Maria Monk, at Mr. Johnston's +house. She repeated in my presence the substance of what was mentioned +to me before, relating to her having been in the Nunnery for four +years; having taken the black veil; the crimes committed there; and a +variety of other circumstances concerning the Priests and Nuns. A Mr. +Hoyte was introduced to me, and was present during the whole of the +time that I was in the house. He was represented as one of the persons +who had come from New York with this young woman, for the purpose of +investigating into this mysterious affair. I was asked to take her +deposition, on her oath, as to the truth of what she had stated. I +declined doing so, giving as reason, that, from my knowledge of her +character, I considered her assertions upon oath were not entitled to +more credit than her bare assertion, and that I did not believe either: +intimating, at the same time, my willingness to take the necessary +steps for a full investigation, if they could get any other person to +corroborate any part of her solemn testimony, or if a direct charge +were to be made against any particular individual of a criminal nature. +During the first interview with Messrs. Johnston and Cooley, they +mentioned, that Maria Monk had been found in New York in a very +destitute situation by some charitable individuals, who administered to +her necessities, being very sick. She expressed a wish to see a +clergyman, as she had a dreadful secret which she wished to divulge +before she died; a clergyman visiting her, she related to him the +alleged crimes of the Priests and Nuns of the General Hospital at +Montreal. After her recovery, she was visited and examined by the Mayor +and some lawyers at New York, afterward at Troy, in the State of New +York, on the subject; and I understood them to say, that Mr. Hoyte and +two other gentlemen, one of them a lawyer, were sent to Montreal, for +the purpose of examining into the truth of the accusations thus made. +Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria Monk's story, I thought +it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry concerning it, and have +ascertained where she had been residing a great part of the time she +states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During the summer of 1832 +she was at service in William Henry's; the winters of 1823-3, she +passed in this neighborhood, at St. Ours and St. Denis. The accounts +given of her conduct that season corroborate the opinions I had before +entertained of her character. + +"W. ROBERTSON. + +"Sworn before me, Montreal, this 14th day of November, 1835. + +"BENJ. HOLMES, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MY MOTHER.) + +"On this day, the twenty-fourth day of October, one thousand eight +hundred and thirty-five, before me, William Robertson, one of his +Majesty's Justices of the Peace for the district of Montreal, came and +appeared Isabella Mills, [Footnote: My mother's maiden name was Mills] +of the city of Montreal, widow of the late William Monk, who declared, +that wishing to guard the public against the deception which has lately +been practised in Montreal by designing men, who have taken advantage +of the occasional derangement of her daughter, to make scandalous +accusations against the Priests and the Nuns in Montreal, and afterward +to make her pass herself for a nun, who had left the Convent. And after +having made oath on the holy evangelists, (to say the truth) the said +Isabella Mills declares and says, a man decently dressed (whom +afterward I knew to be W. R. Hoyte, stating himself to be a minister of +New York,) came to my house on or about the middle of August last, and +inquired for one Mr. Mills; that Mr. Esson, a minister here, had told +him I could give him some information about that man; I replied that I +knew no one of that name in Montreal, but that I had a brother of that +name five miles out of town. He then told me that he had lately come to +Montreal, with a young woman and child of five weeks old; that the +woman had absconded from him at Goodenough's tavern, where they were +lodging, and left him with the child; he gave me a description of the +woman: I unfortunately discovered that the description answered my +daughter, and the reflection that this stranger had called upon Mr. +Esson, our pastor, and inquiring for my brother, I suspected that this +was planned: I asked for the child, and said that I would place it in a +nunnery: to that Mr. Hoyte started every objection, in abusive language +against the nuns. At last he consented to give me the child, provided I +would give my writing that it should be presented when demanded. We +left the house together, Mr. Hoyte requested me to walk at a distance +from him, as he was a gentleman. I followed him to Mr. Goodenough's +Hotel, and he directed me to room No. 17, and to demand the child; a +servant maid gave it to me; Mr. Hoyte came up, and gave me the +clothing. I came home with the child, and sent Mrs. Tarbert, an old +acquaintance, in search of my daughter; her disposition will be seen. +The next day, Mr. Hoyte came in with an elderly man, Dr. Judge Turner, +decently dressed, whom he introduced to me as a Mr. Turner, of St. +Alban's. They demanded to see the child, which I produced. Mr. Hoyte +demanded if I had discovered the mother; I said not. She must be found, +said he; she has taken away a shawl and a bonnet belonging to a servant +girl at Goodenough's; he would not pay for them; she had cost him too +much already; that, his things were kept at the hotel on that account. +Being afraid that this might more deeply involve my daughter, I offered +my own shawl to replace the one taken; Mr. Hoyte first took it but +afterward returned it to me on my promise that I would pay for the +shawl and bonnet. In the course of the day, Mrs. Tarbert found my +daughter, but she would not come to my house; she sent the bonnet and +shawl, which were returned to their owner, who had lent them to my +daughter, to assist her in procuring her escape from Mr. Hoyte at the +hotel. Early on the afternoon of the same day, Mr. Hoyte came to my +house with the same old man, wishing me to make all my efforts to find +the girl, in the meantime speaking very bitterly against the Catholics, +the Priests, and the Nuns; mentioning that my daughter had been in the +nunnery, where she had been ill treated. I denied that my daughter had +ever been in a nunnery; that when she was about eight years of age, she +went to a day-school. At that time came in two other persons, whom Mr. +Hoyte introduced; one was Rev. Mr. Brewster, I do not recollect the +other reverence's name. They all requested me, in the most pressing +terms, to try to make it out; my daughter had been in the nunnery; and +that she had some connection with the Priests of the seminary, of which +nunneries and Priests she spoke in the most outrageous terms; said, +that should I make that out, myself, my daughter, and child, would be +protected for life. I expected to get rid of their importunities, in +relating the melancholy circumstances by which my daughter was +frequently deranged in her head, and told them, that when at the age of +about seven years, she broke a slate pencil in her head; that since +that time her mental faculties were deranged, and by times much more +than at other times, but that she was far from being an idiot; that she +could make the most ridiculous, but most plausible stories; and that as +to the history that she had been in a nunnery, it was a fabrication, +for she never was in a nunnery; that at one time I wished to obtain a +place in a nunnery for her; that I had employed the influence of Mrs. +De Montenach, of Dr. Nelson, and of our pastor, the Rev. Mr. Esson, but +without success. I told them notwithstanding I was a Protestant and did +not like the Catholic religion--like all other respectable Protestants, +I held the priests of the seminary and the nuns of Montreal in +veneration, as the most pious and charitable persons I ever knew. After +many more solicitations to the same effect, three of them retired, but +Mr. Hoyte remained, adding to the other solicitations; he was stopped, +a person having rapped at the door; it was then candlelight. I opened +the door, and found Doctor McDonald, who told me that my daughter Maria +was at his house, in the most distressing situation; that she wished +him to come and make her peace with me; I went with the Doctor to his +house in M'Gill-street; she came with me to near my house, but would +not come in, notwithstanding I assured her that she would be kindly +treated, and that I would give her her child; she crossed the parade +ground, and I went into the house, and returned for her.--Mr. Hoyte +followed me. She was leaning on the west railing of the parade; we went +to her: Mr. Hoyte told her, my dear Mary, I am sorry you have treated +yourself and me in this manner; I hope you have not exposed what has +passed between us, nevertheless; I will treat you the same as ever, and +spoke to her in the most affectionate terms; took her in his arms; she +at first spoke to him very cross, and refused to go with him, but at +last consented and went with him, absolutely refusing to come to my +house. Soon after, Mr. Hoyte came and demanded the child; I gave it to +him. Next morning Mr. Hoyte returned, and was more pressing than in his +former solicitation, and requested me to say that my daughter had been +in the nunnery: that should I say so, it would be better than one +hundred pounds to me; that I would be protected for life, and that I +should leave Montreal, and that I would be better provided for +elsewhere; I answered, that thousands of pounds would not induce me to +perjure myself; then he got saucy and abusive to the utmost; he said he +came to Montreal to detect the infamy of the Priests and the Nuns; that +he could not leave my daughter destitute in the wide world as I had +done: afterward said, No! she is not your daughter, she is too sensible +for that, and went away--He was gone but a few minutes, when Mr. +Doucet, an ancient Magistrate in Montreal, entered. That gentleman told +me that Mr. Goodenough had just now called upon him, and requested him +to let me know that I had a daughter in Montreal; that she had come in +with a Mr. Hoyte and a child, and that she had left Mr. Hoyte and the +child, but that she was still in Montreal, so as to enable me to look +for her, and that I might prevent some mischief that was going on. Then +I related to him partly what I have above said. When he was going, two +other gentlemen came. I refused to give them any information at first, +expecting that they were of the party that had so much agitated me for +a few days; but being informed by Mr. Doucet, that he knew one of them, +particularly Mr. Perkins, for a respectable citizen for a long time in +Montreal, and the other Mr. Curry, two ministers from the United +States, that if they came to obtain some information about the +distressing events she related to have occurred in her family, he +thought it would do no harm, and I related it to them: they appeared to +be afflicted with such a circumstance; I have not seen them any more. I +asked Mr. Doucet if the man Hoyte could not be put in jail; he replied +that he thought not, for what he knew of the business. Then I asked if +the Priests were informed of what was going on; he replied, yes, but +they never take up these things; they allow their character to defend +itself. A few days after, I heard that my daughter was at one Mr. +Johnson's, a joiner, at Griffintown, with Mr. Hoyte; that he passed her +for a nun that had escaped from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. I went there +two days successively with Mrs. Tarbert; the first day, Mrs. Johnson +denied her, and said that she was gone to New York with Mr. Hoyte. As I +was returning, I met Mr. Hoyte on the wharf, and I reproached him for +his conduct. I told him that my daughter had been denied me at +Johnson's, but that I would have a search-warrant to have her; when I +returned, he had really gone with my unfortunate daughter; and I +received from Mr. Johnson, his wife and a number of persons in their +house, the grossest abuse, mixed with texts of the Gospel, Mr. Johnson +bringing a Bible for me to swear on. I retired more deeply afflicted +than ever, and further sayeth not. + +"Sworn before me, this 24th of October, 1835." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF NANCY M'GAN.) + +"_Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, came and appeared Nancy M'Gan, of +Montreal, wife of James Tarbert, who has requested me to receive this +affidavit, and declared that she had been intimately acquainted with +Mrs. (widow) Monk, of Montreal, a Protestant woman. I know the said +Maria Monk; last spring she told me that the father of the child she +then was carrying, was burned in Mr. Owsten's house. She often went +away in the country, and at the request of her mother I accompanied her +across the river. Last summer she came back to my lodgings, and told me +that she had made out the father of the child; and that very night left +me and went away. The next morning I found that she was in a house of +bad fame, where I went for her, and told the woman keeping that house, +that she ought not to allow that girl to remain there, for she was a +girl of good and honest family. Maria Monk then told me that she would +not go to him (alluding, as I understood, to the father of the child), +for that he wanted her to swear an oath that would lose her soul for +ever, but jestingly said, should make her a lady for ever. I then told +her (Maria), do not lose your soul for money. She told me she had +swapped her silk gown in the house where I had found her, for a calico +one, and got some money to boot; having previously told me if she had +some money she would go away, and would not go near him any more. Soon +after, Mr. Hoyte and another gentleman came. Mr. Hoyte asked me where +she had slept the night previous, and that he would go for the silk +gown; the woman showed the gown, and told him that if he would pay +three dollars he should have the gown; he went away, and came back with +Maria Monk, paid the three dollars and got the gown; I was then present. + +"Being at Mrs. Monk's, I saw a child which she mentioned to be her +daughter Maria's child. Some time after, Mrs. Monk requested me to +accompany her to Griffintown, to look for her daughter. We went, to Mr. +Johnson's house, a joiner in that suburb: we met Mr. Hoyte and he spoke +to Mrs. Monk; when at Mr. Johnson's, Mrs. Manly asked for her daughter; +Mrs. Johnson said she was not there. I saw Mr. Hoyte at Mrs. Monk's; he +was in company with three other persons, apparently Americans, +earnestly engaged in conversation, but so much confused I could not +make out what was said; and farther sayeth not." + +"Her + +"NANCY + M'GAN. + +"mark. + +"Sworn before me, on this 24th October, 1835. + +"W. ROBERTSON, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF ASA GOODENOUGH.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of his Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, appeared Asa Goodenough, of +Montreal, holder of the Exchange Coffee House, who, after having made +oath upon the Holy Evangelists, declareth and sayeth, that on or about +the nineteenth of August last, two gentlemen and a young female with a +child, put up at the Exchange Coffee House, of which I am the owner; +they were entered in the book, one under the name of Judge Turner, the +other as Mr. Hoyte, a Methodist preacher, and agent or superintendent +for the establishment of Sunday-schools, &c. + +"Being informed by Catherine Conners, a confidential servant, that +something mysterious was passing amongst the above-named, which led me +to call on them for an explanation, they answered in a very +unsatisfactory manner. I afterward learned that the name of the young +woman was Maria Monk, that her mother lived in town, that she was not +married to Mr. Hoyte, and they came to Montreal with the view, as Mr. +Hoyte said, to disclose the infamy of the Priests, whilst she was at +the Nunnery. I thought it prudent to give information of this to a +magistrate. Seeing Mr. Doucet's name on the list, I went to him, and +requested him to give information to the mother of the young woman, of +the circumstances in which her daughter was. He did so, and the +disclosure of the design of Mr. Hoyte was the consequence. + +"Montreal. + +"ASA GOODENOUGH." + + * * * * * + +"The following affidavits have been translated from the _L'Ami du +Peuple,_ Montreal, Nov. 7, 1835." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF CATHARINE CONNERS.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace +for the District of Montreal, appeared Catherine Conners of Montreal, a +servant in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, in the city of Montreal; she +having made oath on the Holy Evangelists, to say the truth and nothing +but the truth, declared and said what follows: + +"Towards the 19th of August last, two men and a woman came to the +_Exchange Coffee House_; their names were written in the book, one by +the name of Judge Turner, and the other as Mr. Hoyte; the name of the +woman was not written in the book, in which the names of travellers are +written, because I was informed that they were taking a single room +with two beds. Some time after another room was given to them for their +accommodation; the woman passed for the wife of Mr. Hoyte. + +"The day following, when I was making the bed, I found the woman in +tears; having made the remark to her that her child was a very young +traveller, she replied that she had not the power to dispense with the +journey, for they travelled on business of importance; she also said +that she had never had a day of happiness since she had left Montreal, +which was four years, with Mr. Hoyte; she expressed a wish to go and +see her father. She entreated me to try and procure secretly clothes +for her, for Mr. Hoyte wished to dine with her in his own room, in +which he was then taking care of the child. I gave her my shawl and +bonnet, and conducted her secretly out by the street St Pierre; she +never returned, and left the child in the hands of Mr. Hoyte. She said +that her _husband_ was a Methodist preacher, and agent of the Sunday +School for Montreal, in which he had resided four months last winter; +but she had not then been with him. When I returned to the room, Mr. +Hoyte was still taking care of the child; he asked me if I had seen +_his lady_; I said no. Upon this question he told me that the father of +_his lady_ was dead, that her mother yet lived in the suburbs of +Quebec, and he asked me for all the clothes which I had given to wash +for him, _his lady_ and child; clothes the _lady_ had taken from the +only portmanteau which they had. Beyond that, I perceived nothing +remarkable, except that Mr. Hoyte wished to conceal this woman, and to +prevent her from going out. I heard the judge say to him, 'now she is +yours.' Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + +Mary McCaffrey, also a chambermaid in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, +corroborates the preceding deposition. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF HENRY M'DONALD.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace, +for the District of Montreal, appeared Henry M'Donald, physician, who, +after taking an oath on the Holy Evangelists to say the truth, +declared, that in the month of August last, at seven o'clock in the +evening, a young woman called at his house with all the symptoms of an +extraordinary agitation, and in great distress. She asked his +professional advice, complaining of great pains in the breast. On +questioning her, he learned that she had a young child, which she said +was at Mr. Goodenough's, and that this child was taken away from her. +She said that the father of the child was a Methodist Minister, and +general agent of the Sunday-Schools. She told me his name, but I cannot +recollect it. She told me that now and then her intellectual faculties +were weakened in such a manner that she could not support herself. She +told me that she would be under great obligation to me, if I would go +to her mother's house, and get her child, and procure lodgings for her; +that she was without means, and did not know where to go. She could not +remain with her mother, because she felt that her conduct had disgraced +her family. I went in quest of Mrs. Monk, her mother; she had just come +in quest of her daughter, and they went away together from my house. + +(Signed) "HENRY M'DONALD." + +"Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MATTHEW RICHEY.) + +_To the Editor of the Montreal Morning Courier._ + +Sir,--Among the affidavits published in your paper of to-day, relating +to Mr. Hoyte and Maria Monk, I observe a deposition by Mr. Goodenough, +that when Mr. Hoyte, in the month of August last, put up at the +Exchange Coffee-house, he was entered on the book as a _Methodist +Preacher, and Agent or Superintendant of Sunday Schools_, &c. It has, +however, been ascertained, from an examination of the book referred +too, that no official designation is appended in it to Mr. Hoyte's +name. This discrepancy, Mr. Goodenough states, took place entirely +through mistake, and he did not know that Mr. Hoyte was thus +characterized in his affidavit till he saw it in print. But as a +similar mistake has found its way into several of the depositions which +have been elicited by this unhappy affair, I deem it incumbent upon me, +as a regularly appointed Methodist Minister of this city, to declare +that Mr. Hoyte has never had any connexion with the Methodist Society, +either as a preacher or as an agent for Sunday Schools; and I would, at +the same time, express my surprise and regret, that the _New York +Protestant Vindicator_ should have taken up, and industriously +circulated, charges of so grave a nature against the Priests and Nuns +of this city, derived from so polluted a source. From such a species of +_vindication_, no cause can receive either honour or credit. By giving +this publicity, you will confer a favour on yours, respectfully, + +"MATTHEW RICHEY, _Wesleyan Minister_." + +"Montreal, Nov. 16, 1835. + + * * * * * + +"Although we could produce several other affidavits, of an equally +unimpeachable character as the above, yet we deem the evidence advanced +more than enough to show the entire, falsehood and extravagance of the +fabrications in the _Protestant Vindicator_." + + * * * * * + +Here closes all the testimony that has been published or brought +against me. It requires the suppression of my feelings to repeat to the +world charges against myself and my companions, so unfounded, and +painful to every virtuous reader. But I [illegible] to the truth to +substantiate my narrative, and prefer that everything should be fairly +laid before the world. That my opponents had nothing further to produce +against me at that time, is proved by the following remark by the +Editor of the New York Catholic Diary, to be found in very paper in +which he published the preceding affidavits:-- + +_"Here, then, is the whole!"_ + +In a N. Y. Catholic Diary of March last, is a letter from Father +McMahon, a Missionary, dated at Sherbrooke, in Canada, in which, as +will be seen by the extracts given beyond, he does not even allude to +any other testimony than this. Of course my readers will allow that I +have reason to say--"Here, then, is the whole!" + +The following extracts are given for several reasons. 1st. To prove, by +the admission of my adversaries themselves, that no new testimony has +been produced since the publication of the Montreal affidavits. 2d. +That no disposition is shown to bring the truth to the only fair +test--the opening of the Nunnery. 3d. That they are inconsistent in +several respects, as, while they pretend to leave the characters of the +priests and nuns to defend themselves, they labour with great zeal and +acrimony to quiet public suspicion, and to discredit my testimony. 4th. +Another object in giving these extracts is, to show a specimen of the +style of most of the Roman Catholic writers against me. In respect to +argument, temper, and scarcity of facts, Father McMahon is on a level +with the editors of the Diary and Green Banner, judging from such of +their papers as I have seen. + + * * * * * + +_From Father McMahon's Letter to the editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary +of March, 1836._ + +"The silence by which you indulge the latent springs of a mal-propense, +so far from being an argument for culpability, is based upon the +charitableness of a conscious innocence, and is, therefore, highly +commendable. I say it is highly commendable, inasmuch as these worthy +and respectable characters do not deign to answer falsehood, or turn +their attention from their sacred avocations by effectually repelling +allegations which all men, women, and children, able to articulate a +syllable, in the city of Montreal, have repeatedly pronounced to be +utterly false, detestably false, and abominably scandalous. + + * * * * * + +"May I now call upon you, honest Americans, who, though you may differ +from me in doctrinal points of religion, have, I trust, the due regard +for truth and charity towards all mankind; and into whose hand that +instrument of Satan's emissaries may fall, before you believe one +syllable [illegible] attentively to peruse the following _facts_, which +are [illegible] men of learning, of every persuasion, and in every +country, and which you will find, by mature investigation, to serve as +a sufficient key to discover the wicked falsehoods, circulated by the +enemies of truth, in the work called, 'The Disclosures of Maria Monk,' +but which, in consequence of the total absence of truth from the things +therein contained, I have termed (and I think justly on that account), +the devil's prayer-book. I beseech you to give my statements a fair, +but impartial trial, weigh correctly the arguments opposed to them, +according to your judgment--do not allow yourselves to be gulled by the +empty or unmeaning phraseology of some of your bloated, though +temperate, preachers. All I ask for the test of the following +statement, is simply and solely the exercise of your common sense, +without equivocation. 1st. I distinctly and unequivocally state, that +the impugners of the Catholic religion and its doctrines, never dared +to meet us in the fair field of argument. Never yet have they entered +the lists in an eristical encounter, but to their cost. Why so? because +we have reason, religion, and the impenetrable shield of true +syllogistic argumentation in our favour. Witness, in support of the +assertion, the stupid and besotted crew (pardon me for this expression, +and find a proper term yourselves, for the politico-Theological +Charlatans of England), who, not daring to encounter the Catholic +Hierarchy of Ireland, in an honorable religious disputation, are forced +to drag to their assistance those very apostates from Catholicity who +were considered by their superiors unworthy of the situation they +attempted to hold in that Church; for the purpose of propping up the +staggering and debauched harlot, whose grave they are now preparing. +Only remark how they are obliged to have recourse to the exploded +scholastic opinion of Peter Dens, by way of showing the intolerance of +the Catholics, who repudiate the doctrine of religious intolerance. +Maryland, Bavaria, and the Cantons of Switzerland, prove the contrary +by their universal religious toleration. Now I could mention, if I +thought I had space enough on this sheet, numbers of Protestant +divines, who, in their writings, have strongly inculcated the absurd +doctrines of ruling our consciences by the authority of the Civil +Magistrates. See then, how strange it is that they seek to condemn us +for doctrines which we abhor, and which they practice, even to this +day. Mark that for an argument against our doctrines. + +"2dly. I assert, that notwithstanding all the persecutions, all the +falsehood and defamation daily exercised against the Catholics and +their religion, they are at this moment the only people on the face of +the earth, who maintain amongst them the unity of the true faith, and +the regular succession in the Ministry, from Christ and his Apostles. + +"3dly. I assert, that the late scandalous production against the +Catholic Clergy of Montreal and the Catholic institutions there, is a +tissue of false, foul, designing, and scandalous misrepresentation. +1st. Because upon strict examination into all its bearings, it has been +so proved upon the solemn oaths of a magistrate and others concerned. +2dly. Because it is no way consonant to reason or common sense to say +that those living at a considerable distance, and avowedly hostile to +the Catholics and their religion, should feel so interested in the +matter? as the Catholics themselves, who are vitally concerned, and who +had every facility of discovering any impropriety; who are zealous of +the purity of their religion and its Ministers. 3dly. Because the loud +cry of all the inhabitants of every denomination, from the well-known +integrity, the extraordinary piety, the singular charity and +devotedness of the Catholic Clergy, came in peals of just wrath and +well-merited indignation on the heads of the degenerate monsters who +basely, but ineffectually, attempted to murder the unsullied fame of +those whom they deservedly held, and will hold, in the highest +estimation. + +"T. B. McMahon, _Missionary_." + +Now this letter alludes to testimony legally given, as substantiating +the charges against me. What testimony is intended? Any new testimony? +If so, where, and what is it? I never heard of any, of any description, +except what I have inserted on the preceding pages, unless I except the +violent, unsupported, and inconsistent assertion in newspapers, before +alluded to. Has any testimony, legally given, been produced, which +neither the Catholic Diary, nor any other Catholic paper, has either +inserted or alluded to? No. The Missionary, McMahon, must refer to the +Montreal affidavits; and since he has expressed his opinion in relation +to their credibility and weight, I request my readers to form their own +opinions, as I have put the means in their power. + +It may, perhaps, appear to some, an act displaying uncommon "_concern_" +in my affairs, or those of the Convent, for Father McMahon to take the +pains to write on the subject from Canada. I know more of him and his +concerns than the public do; and I am glad that my book has reached +him. Happy would it have been for him, if he could prove that he did +not leave Sherbrooke from the day when I took the Black veil, until the +day when I cast it off. There are many able to bear witness against him +in that institution (if they have not been removed), and one out of it, +who could easily silence him, by disclosures that he has too much +reason to apprehend. + +But to return--I assure my readers, then, that this book contains all +the testimony that has been brought against me, so far as I can +ascertain. + +The extensive publication of the Montreal affidavits (for they appeared +in the Roman Catholic papers, and were circulated, it is believed, very +generally through New York), for a time, almost entirely closed the +newspapers against me. My publishers addressed the following letter to +the editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary, and waited on him with a third +person, to request its publication in his next paper, but he declined. +He expressed doubts of my being in the city, and intimated a wish to +see me; but when they acceded, he refused to meet me anywhere but _at +his own residence!_ + +The same letter was then offered to other editors in New York, and even +sent to Philadelphia for publication, but refused. It appeared on the +29th of February, in the Brooklyn Star, thus introduced:-- + +_Extracts from the Long Island Star of Feb. 29th._ + +"Since the publication of our last paper, we have received a +communication from Messrs. Howe and Bates, of New York, the publishers +of Miss Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' It appears that some influences +have been at work in that city, adverse to the free examination of the +case between her and the priests of Canada; for thus far the news +papers have been almost entirely closed against every thing in her +defence, while most of them have published false charges against the +book, some of a preposterous nature, the contradiction of which is +plain and palpable. + +"Returning to New York, she then first resolved to publish her story, +which she has recently done, after several intelligent and +disinterested persons had satisfied themselves by much examination that +it was _true_. + +"When it became known in Canada that this was her intention, six +affidavits were published in some of the newspapers, intended to +destroy confidence in her character; but these were found very +contradictory in several important points, and others to afford +undersigned confirmation of statements before made by her. + +"On the publication of her book, the New York Catholic Diary, the Truth +Teller, the Green Banner, and other papers, made virulent attacks upon +it, and one of them proposed that the publishers should be 'Lynched.' +An anonymous handbill was also circulated in New York, declaring the +work a malignant libel, got up by Protestant clergymen, and promising +an ample refutation of it in a few days. This was re-published in the +Catholic Diary, &c. with the old Montreal affidavits which latter were +also distributed through New York and Brooklyn; and on the authority of +these, several Protestant newspapers denounced the work as false and +malicious. + +"Another charge, quite inconsistent with the rest, was also made, not +only by the leading Roman Catholic papers, but by several others at +second hand--viz. that it was a mere copy of an old European work. This +has been promptly denied by the publishers, with the offer of $100 +reward for any book at all resembling it. + +"Yet, such is the resolution of some and the unbelief of others, that +it is impossible for the publishers to obtain insertion for their +replies in the New York papers generally, and they have been +unsuccessful in an attempt in Philadelphia. + +"This is the ground on which the following article has been offered to +us for publication in the Star. It was offered to Mr. Schneller, a +Roman priest, and editor of the Catholic Diary, for insertion in his +paper of Saturday before last, but refused, although written expressly +as an answer to the affidavits and charges his previous number had +contained. This article has also been refused insertion in a +Philadelphia daily paper, after it had been satisfactorily ascertained +that there was no hope of gaining admission for it into any of the New +York papers. + +"It should be stated, in addition, that the authoress of the book, +Maria Monk, is in New York, and stands ready to answer any questions, +and submit to any inquiries, put in a proper manner, and desires +nothing so strongly as an opportunity to prove before a court the truth +of her story. She has already found several persons of respectability +who have confirmed some of the facts, important and likely to be +attested by concurrent evidence; and much testimony in her favour may +be soon expected by the public. + +"With these facts before them, intelligent readers will judge for +themselves. She asks for investigation, while her opponents deny her +every opportunity to meet the charges made against her. Mr. Schneller, +after expressing a wish to see her, to the publishers, refused to meet +her anywhere, _unless in his own house;_ while Mr. Quarter, another +Roman Catholic priest, called to see her, at ten o'clock, one night, +accompanied by another man, without giving their names, and under the +false pretence of being bearers of a letter from her brother in +Montreal." + + * * * * * + +_Reply to the Montreal Affidavits, refused publication by the Catholic +Diary &c._ + +"To the Editor of the Catholic Diary. + +"SIR--In your paper of last Saturday, you published six affidavits from +Montreal, which are calculated, so far as they are believed, to +discredit the truth of the 'Awful Disclosures' of Maria Monk, a book of +which we are the publishers. We address the following remarks to you, +with a request that you will publish them in the Catholic Diary, that +your readers may have the means of judging for themselves. If the case +be so plain a one as you seem to suppose, they will doubtless perceive +more plainly the bearing and force of the evidence you present, when +they see it brought into collision with that which it is designed to +overthrow. + +"First, We have to remark, that the affidavits which you publish might +have been furnished you in this city, without the trouble or delay of +sending to Montreal. They have been here two or three months, and were +carefully examined about that period by persons who are acquainted with +Maria Monk's story, and were desirous of ascertaining the truth. After +obtaining further evidence from Canada these affidavits were decided to +contain strong confirmation of various points in her story, then +already written down, only part of which has yet been published. + +"Second. It is remarkable that of these six affidavits, the first is +that of Dr. Robinson, and all the rest are signed by him as Justice of +the Peace; and a Justice, too, who had previously refused to take the +affidavit of Maria Monk. Yet, unknown to himself, this same Dr. R., by +incidents of his own stating, corroborates some very important parts of +Miss Monk's statements. He says, indeed, that he has ascertained where +she was part of the time when she professed to have been in the +Nunnery. But his _evidence_ on this point is merely hearsay, and he +does not even favour us with that. + +"Third, One of the affidavits is that of Miss Monk's mother, who claims +to be a Protestant, and yet declares, that she proposed to send her +infant grandchild to a Nunnery! She says her daughter has long been +subject to fits of insanity, (of which, however, we can say no traces +are discoverable in New York,) and has never been in a Nunnery since +she was at school in one, while quite a child. She however does not +mention where her daughter has spent any part of the most important +years of her life. A large part of her affidavit, as well as several +others, is taken up with matter relating to one of the persons who +accompanied Miss M. to Montreal last summer, and has no claim to be +regarded as direct evidence for or against the authenticity of her book. + +"Fourth, The affidavit of Nancy McGan is signed with a cross, as by one +ignorant of writing; and she states that she visited a house of ill +fame, (to all appearance alone,) although, as she asserts, to bring +away Miss M. Her testimony, therefore, does not present the strongest +claims to our confidence. Besides, it is known that she has shown great +hostility, to Miss Monk, in the streets of Montreal: and she would not, +it is believed, have had much influence on an intelligent court or +jury, against Miss M., in that city, if the latter had been fortunate +enough to obtain the legal investigation into her charges, which as Dr. +R. mentions, she declared to be the express object of her visit to that +city, in the last summer, and in which she failed, after nearly a +month's exertion. + +"Fifth, The affidavit of Mr. Goodenough is contradicted in one point by +the letter of Mr. Richey, a Wesleyan minister, which you insert, and +contains little else of any importance to this or any other case. * * * +* + +"Sixth, You copied in a conspicuous manner, from a Catholic paper in +Boston, a charge against the book, the groundlessness of which has been +exposed in some of the New York papers, viz. that large parts of it +were, 'word for word and letter for letter.' (names only altered,) +copied from a book published some years ago in Europe, under the title +of 'The Gates of Hell opened.' We have not seen in your paper any +correction of this aspersion, although the assertion of it has placed +you in a dilemma; for, if such were the fact, as you asserted, the +Montreal affidavits would have little application to the case. Besides, +that book, having proceeded from Catholics, and relating, as was +intimated, to scenes in European Convents, divulged by witnesses not +chargeable with prejudices against them, is to be taken for true with +other names; and therefore the charge of extravagance or improbability, +which is so much urged against our book, is entirely nullified, without +appealing to other sources of information which cannot be objected to. + +"But before closing, allow us to remark, that you, who claim so +strongly the confidence of your readers in the testimony of witnesses +in Montreal, who speak only of things collateral to the main subject in +question, must be prepared to lay extraordinary weight on evidence of a +higher nature, and must realize something of the anxiety with which we, +and the American public generally, we believe, stand ready to receive +the evidence to be displayed to the eye and to the touch, either for or +against the solemn declaration of Miss Monk, whenever the great test +shall be applied to which she appeals, viz. the opening of the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. Then, sir, and not till then, will the great +question be settled,--Is our book true or false? Affidavits may +possibly be multiplied, although you say, 'Here, then, is the whole!' +Dr. Robertson may be called again to testify, or receive testimony as +Justice of the Peace,--but the question is _not_, what do people +believe or think _outside_ of the _Convent?_ but, _'what has been done +in it?'_ + +"By the issue of this investigation, Miss Monk declares she is ready to +stand or fall. + +"You speak, sir, of the 'backwardness' of persons to appear in defence +of Miss Monk's book. We promise to appear as often on the subject as +you are willing to publish our communications. In one of the paragraphs +you publish, our book is spoken of as one of the evils arising from a +'_free_ press.' We think, sir, that 'a free press' is exposed to less +condemnation through the 'Awful Disclosures,' than the 'close +Nunneries' which it is designed to expose. + +"Respectfully, &c + +"New York, Feb. 22d, 1836." + + * * * * * + +The above was afterward copied in other papers. The following +certificate appeared in the Protestant Vindicator, and other papers, in +March, 1836, introducing the two first witnesses. + +"_The truth of Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures' amply certified._ + +"We the subscribers, having an acquaintance with Miss Maria Monk, and +having considered the evidence of different kinds which has been +collected in relation to her case, have no hesitation in declaring our +belief in the truth of the statements she makes in her book recently +published in New York, entitled 'Awful Disclosures,' &c. We at that +same time declare that the assertion, originally made in the Roman +Catholic newspapers of Boston, that the book was copied from a work +entitled 'The Gates of Hell opened,' is wholly destitute of foundation; +it being entirely new, and not copied from any thing whatsoever. + +"And we further declare, that _no evidence has yet been produced which +discredits the statements of Miss Monk; while, on the contrary, her +story has received, and continues to receive, confirmation from various +sources._ + +"During the last week, two important witnesses spontaneously appeared, +and offered to give public testimony in her favour. From them the +following declarations have been received. The first is an affidavit +given by Mr. William Miller, now a resident of this city. The second is +a statement received from a young married woman, who, with her husband, +also resides here. In the clear and repeated statements made by these +two witnesses, we place entire reliance; who are ready to furnish +satisfaction to any persons making reasonable inquiries on the subject. + +"W. C. BROWNLEE. + +"JOHN J. SLOCUM. + +"ANDREW BRUCE. + +"D. FANSHAW. + +"AMOS BELDEN. + +"DAVID WESSON. + +"THOMAS HOGAN." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF WILLIAM MILLER.) + +"_City and County of New York, ss._ + +"William Miller being duly sworn, doth say--I knew Maria Monk when she +was quite a child, and was acquainted with all her father's family. My +father, Mr. Adam Miller, kept the government school at St. John's, +Lower Canada, for some years. Captain Wm. Monk, Maria's father, lived +in the garrison, a short distance from the village, and she attended +the school with me for some months, probably as much as a year. Her +four brothers also attended with us. Our families were on terms of +intimacy, as my father had a high regard for Captain Monk; but the +temper of his wife was such, even at that time, as to cause much +trouble. Captain Monk died very suddenly, as was reported, in +consequence of being poisoned. Mrs. Monk was then keeper of the +Government House in Montreal, and received a pension, which privilege +she has since enjoyed. In the summer of 1832, I left Canada, and came +to this city. In about a year afterward I visited Montreal, and on the +day when the Governor reviewed the troops, I believe about the end of +August, I called at the Government House, where I saw Mrs. Monk and +several of the family. I inquired where Maria was, and she told me that +she was in the nunnery. This fact I well remember, because the +information gave me great pain, as I had unfavorable opinions of the +nunneries. On reading the 'Awful Disclosures,' I at once knew she was +the eloped nun, but was unable to find her until a few days since, when +we recognized each other immediately. I give with pleasure my testimony +in her favour, as she is among strangers, and exertions have been made +against her. I declare my personal knowledge of many facts stated in +her book, and my full belief in the truth of her story, which, shocking +as it is, cannot appear incredible to those persons acquainted with +Canada. + +"WILLIAM MILLER. + +"Sworn before me, this 3d day of March, 1836. + +"BENJAMIN D. K. CRAIG, + +"Commissioner of Deeds, &c." + + * * * * * + +_From the Protestant Vindicator of March 9._ + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness +above-mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +(TESTIMONY OF ANOTHER OLD SCHOOLMATE.) + +"I was born at Montreal, and resided there until within a few months, +and where my friends still remain. I was educated among the Catholics, +and have never separated myself from them. + +"I knew Maria Monk when quite a child. We went to school together for +about a year, as near as I can remember, to Mr. Workman, +Sacrament-street, in Montreal. She is about one month younger than +myself. We left that school at the same time, and entered the +Congregational Nunnery nearly together. I could mention many things +which I witnessed there, calculated to confirm some of her accounts. + +"I knew of the elopement of a priest named Leclerc, who was a +confessor, with a nun sent from the Congregational Nunnery to teach in +a village. They were brought back, after which she gave birth to an +infant, and was again employed as a teacher. + +"Children were often punished in the Congregational Nunnery, by being +made to stand with arms extended, to imitate Christ's posture on the +cross; and when we found vermin in our soup, as was often the case, we +were exhorted to overcome our repugnance to it, because Christ died for +us. I have seen such belts as are mentioned in the 'Awful Disclosures,' +as well as gags; but never saw them applied. + +"Maria Monk left the Congregational Nunnery before I did, and became a +Novice in the Hotel Dieu. I remember her entrance into the latter very +well, for we had a 'jour de conge,' holiday, on that occasion. + +"Some short time subsequently, after school hours one afternoon, while +in the school-room in the second story of the Congregational Nunnery, +several of the girls standing near a window exclaimed, 'There is Maria +Monk.' I sprang to the window to look, and saw her with several other +novices, in the yard of the Hotel Dieu, among the plants which grew +there. She did not appear to notice us, but I perfectly recognised her. + +"I have frequently visited the public hospital of the Hotel Dieu. It is +the custom there for some of the nuns and novices to enter at three +o'clock, P.M., in procession with food and delicacies for the sick. I +recollect some of my visits there by circumstances attending them. For +instance, I was much struck, on several occasions, by the beauty of a +young novice, whose slender, graceful form, and interesting appearance, +distinguished her from the rest. On inquiry, I learnt that her name was +Dubois, or something like it, and the daughter of an old man who had +removed from the country, and lived near the Place d'Armes. She was so +generally admired for her beauty, that she was called 'la belle St. +Francois'--St. Francis being the saint's name she had assumed in the +Convent. + +"I frequently went to the hospital to see two of my particular friends +who were novices: and subsequently to visit one who had a sore throat, +and was sick for some weeks. I saw Maria Monk there many times, in the +dress of a novice, employed in different ways but we were never allowed +to speak to each other. + +"Towards the close of the winter of 1833-4, I visited the hospital of +the Hotel Dieu very frequently, to see Miss Bourke, a friend of mine, +although I was not permitted to speak with her. While there one day, at +the hour of _'conge'_ or _'collation'_ which, as I before stated, was +at three P.M., a procession of nuns and novices entered, and among the +former I saw Maria Monk, with a black veil, &c. She perceived and +recognized me; but put her finger on her lips in token of silence; and +knowing how rigidly the rules were enforced, I did not speak. + +"A short time afterward, I saw her again in the same place, and under +similar circumstances. + +"I can fix the year when this occurred, because I recollect that the +nuns in the hospital stared at a red dress I wore that season; and I am +certain about that time of year, because I left my galoshes at the door +before I went in. + +"The improper conduct of a priest was the cause of my leaving the +Congregational Nunnery: for my brother saw him kissing a [illegible] +one day while he was on a visit to me, and exclaimed--'O mon Dieu! what +a place you are in!--If father does not take you out of it I will, if I +have to tear you away.' + +"After the last sight I had of Maria Monk in the hospital, I never saw +nor heard of her, until after I had been for some time an inhabitant of +New York. I then saw an extract from 'Awful Disclosures,' published in +a newspaper, when I was perfectly satisfied that she was the authoress, +and again at liberty. I was unable for several weeks to find her +residence, but at length visited the house when she was absent. Seeing +an infant among a number of persons who were strangers to me, as those +present will testify, I declared that it must be the child mentioned in +her book, from the striking resemblance it bears to Father Phelan, whom +I well know. This declaration has also been made by others. + +"When Maria Monk entered, she passed across the room, without turning +towards me; but I recognised her by her gait, and when she saw me she +knew me at once. I have since spent many hours with her, and am +entirely convinced of the truth of her story, especially as I knew many +things before which tend to confirm the statements which she makes." + +["It is superfluous to add any thing to the above testimony. Let the +Roman priests of Montreal open the Hotel Dieu Nunnery for our +inspection, and thus confute Maria Monk: or, Mr. Conroy is again +challenged to institute a criminal process against her, or a civil suit +against the publishers of her volume--They dare not place the eloped +nun or her booksellers in that 'Inquisition;' because they know that it +would only be 'putting themselves to the torture!'"--_Ed. Prot. Vind._] + + * * * * * + +_From The Protestant Vindicator of March 16th._ + +"We recommend the following communications to all persons who doubt the +wickedness of Nunneries. The young gentleman who sent us the letter is +now in this city, and we have heard the same statements from other +witnesses. That subterraneous passages from the Seminary to the +Nunneries, we ourselves have seen, and close by the spot designated by +our correspondent:-- + +(STATEMENT OF J. M.) + +_"Underground passage from the Jesuit Seminary to the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, Montreal._ + +"I have been informed that you are endeavoring to obtain facts and +other incidental circumstances relative to the Black Nunnery, in +Montreal, and the disclosures concerning it, made by Maria Monk, in +which are many hard things, but hard as they are, they are not +indigestible by us Canadians; we believe that she has told but a small +part of what she must know, if she was but half the time there which +she says she was. Maria Monk has mentioned in her book something about +the underground passage which leads from the Black Nunnery to other +places in Montreal. That fact I know by ocular demonstration, and which +nine tenths of the Canadians also will not deny, for it has been opened +several times by the labourers, who have been digging for the purpose +of laying pipes to conduct gas and water. While preparing a place for +the latter I saw one of those passages; the earth being removed by the +labourers, they struck upon the top of the passage, and curiosity led +them to see what was beneath, for it sounded as though there was a +hollow. They accordingly removed the large flat stones which formed the +top of the passage. Many persons were looking on at the time, and +several of them went down into it; when they returned after a few +minutes, they stated that they went but a short distance, before they +came to an intersection of passages, and were afraid to proceed +further. Shortly after, several priests were on the spot, and prevented +the people from further examining it; and had the place shut up +immediately, while they stood by and guarded it until it was all done. +The appearance of that part of the passage was the same as I saw while +they were laying the water pipes. The floor of it in both [illegible] +where I saw it was clean to appearance, with the exception of a little +dirt that fell in on opening them, and of stone flagging. I have heard +much about these underground passages in Montreal, in which place I +have spent the most of my days. I give you my name and residence: and +if you should be called upon from any quarter for the truth of this +statement. I am ready to attest it upon oath; and there are others in +this city who have witnessed the same things. The places where those +openings were made in the underground passages were in St. Joseph +street for the water pipes; and for the gas pipes in Notre-Dame street, +near Sacrament street, at a short distance from the Seminary. + +"W. M." + + * * * * * + +About the close of February last, a note was sent me from a person +signing himself the man who took me to the Almshouse. Soon after I had +an interview with Mr. Hilliker, whom I recognised as my first protector +in New York, and to whom I owe much--indeed, as I think, my life. He +kindly offered to give me his testimony, which follows:-- + +_From the New York Journal of Commerce_. + +(AFFIDAVIT OF JOHN HILLIKER,) + +_"City and County of New York, ss._ + +"John Hilliker, being duly sworn, doth depose and say--that one day +early in the month of May, 1835, while shooting near the Third Avenue, +opposite the three milestone, in company with three friends, I saw a +woman sitting in a field at a short distance, who attracted our +attention. On reaching her, we found her sitting with her head down, +and could not make her return any answer to our questions. On raising +her hat, we saw that she was weeping. She was dressed in an old calico +frock, (I think of a greenish colour,) with a checked apron, and an old +black bonnet. After much delay and weeping, she began to answer my +questions, but not until I had got my companions to leave us, and +assured her that I was a married man, and disposed to befriend her. + +"She then told me that her name was Maria, that she had been a nun in a +nunnery in Montreal, from which she had made her escape, on account of +the treatment she had received from priests in that institution, whose +licentious conduct she strongly intimated to me. She mentioned some +particulars concerning the Convent and her escape. She spoke +particularly of a small room where she used to attend, until the +physician entered to see the sick, when she accompanied him to write +down his prescriptions; and said that she escaped through a door which +he sometimes entered. She added, that she exchanged her dress after +leaving the nunnery, and that she came to New York in company with a +man, who left her as soon as the steamboat arrived. She farther stated, +that she expected soon to give birth to a child, having become pregnant +in the Convent; that she had no friend, and knew not where to find one; +that she thought of destroying her life; and wished me to leave +her--saying, that if I should hear of a woman being found drowned in +the East River, she earnestly desired me never to speak of her. + +"I asked her if she had had any food that day, to which she answered, +no; and I gave her money to get some at the grocery of Mr. Cox, in the +neighbourhood. She left me, but I afterwards saw her in the fields, +going towards the river; and after much urgency, prevailed upon her to +go to a house where I thought she might be accommodated, offering to +pay her expenses. Failing in this attempt, I persuaded her, with much +difficulty, to go the Almshouse; and there we got her received, after I +had promised to call and see her, as she said she had something of +great consequence which she wished to communicate to me, and wished me +to write a letter to Montreal. + +"She had every appearance of telling the truth; so much so, that I have +never for a moment doubted the truth of her story, but told it to many +persons of my acquaintance, with entire confidence in its truth. She +seemed overwhelmed with grief, and in a very desperate state of mind. I +saw her weep for two hours or more without ceasing; and appeared very +feeble when attempting to walk, so that two of us supported her by the +arms. We observed also, that she always folded her hands under her +apron when she walked, as she has described the nuns as doing in her +'Awful Disclosures.' + +"I called at the Almshouse gate several times and inquired for her; but +having forgotten half her name, I could not make it understood whom I +wished to see, and did not see her until the last week. When I saw some +of the first extracts from her book in a newspaper, I was confident +that they were parts of her story, and when I read the conclusion of +the work, I had not a doubt of it. Indeed, many things in the course of +the book I was prepared for from what she had told me. + +"When I saw her, I recognised her immediately, although she did not +know me at first, being in a very different dress. As soon as she was +informed where she had seen me, she recognised me. I have not found in +the book any thing inconsistent with what she had stated to me when I +first saw her. + +"When I first found her in May, 1835, she had evidently sought +concealment. She had a letter in her hand, which she refused to let me +see; and when she found I was determined to remove her, she tore it in +small pieces, and threw them down. Several days after I visited the +spot again and picked them up, to learn something of the contents but +could find nothing intelligible, except the first part of the +Signature, 'Maria.' + +"Of the truth of her story I have not the slightest doubt, and I think +I never can until the Nunnery is opened and examined. + +"JOHN HILLIKER. + +"Sworn before me, this 14th of March, 1835. + +"PETER JENKINS, + +"Commissioner of Deeds." + +The following challenge was published in the N. Y. Protestant +Vindicator for six or seven weeks, in March and April, without a reply. + +"CHALLENGE--The Roman Prelate and Priests of Montreal--Messrs. Conroy, +Quarter, and Schneller, of New York--Messrs. Fenwick and Byrne of +Boston--Mr. Hughes of Philadelphia--the Arch-Prelate of Baltimore, and +his subordinate Priests--and Cardinal England of Charleston, with all +other Roman Priests, and every Nun from Baffin's bay to the Gulf of +Mexico, are hereby challenged to meet an investigation of the truth of +Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures,' before an impartial assembly, over +which shall preside _seven_ gentlemen; three to be selected by the +Roman Priests, three by the Executive Committee of the New York +Protestant Association, and the Seventh as Chairman, to be chosen by +the six. + +"An eligible place in New York shall be appointed and the regulations +for the decorum and order of the meetings, with all the other +arrangements, shall be made by the above gentlemen. + +"All communications upon this subject from any of the Roman Priests or +Nuns, either individually, or as delegates for their superiors, +addressed to the _Corresponding Secretary of the New York Protestant +Association_, No. 142 Nassau-street, New York, will be promptly +answered." + + * * * * * + +_From the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator of April 6, 1836._ + +"THE CHALLENGE.--We have been waiting with no small degree of +impatience to hear from some of the Roman priests. But neither they, +nor their sisters, the nuns, nor one of their nephews or _nieces_, have +yet ventured to come out. Our longings meet only with disappointment. +Did ever any person hear of similar conduct on the part of men accused +of the highest crimes, in their deepest dye? Here is a number of Roman +priests, as actors, or accessories, openly denounced before the world +as guilty, of the most outrageous sins against the sixth and seventh +commandments. They are charged before the world with adultery, +fornication, and murder! The allegations are distinctly made, the place +is mentioned, the parties are named, and the time is designated; for it +is lasting as the annual revolutions of the seasons. And what is most +extraordinary,--_the highest official authorities in Canada know that +all those statements are true, and they sanction and connive at the +iniquity!_--The priests and nuns have been offered, for several months +past, the most easy and certain mode to disprove the felonies imputed +to them, and they are still as the dungeons of the Inquisition, silent +as the death-like quietude of the convent cell; and as retired as if +they were in the subterraneous passages between the Nunnery and +Lartigue's habitation. Now, we contend, that scarcely a similar +instance of disregard for the opinions of mankind, can be found since +the Reformation, at least, in a Protestant country. Whatever disregard +for the judgment of others, the Romish priests may have felt, where the +Inquisition at their command, and the civil power was their Jackal and +their Hyena: they have been obliged to pay some little regard to the +opinion of protestants, and to the dread of exposure. We therefore +repeat the solemn indubitable truth--that the facts which are stated by +Maria Monk, respecting the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, are true as +the existence of the priests and nuns,--that the character, principles, +and practices of the Jesuits and Nuns in Canada are most accurately +delineated--that popish priests, and sisters of charity in the United +States, are their faithful and exact counterparts--that many female +schools in the United States, kept by the papist teachers, are nothing +more than places of decoy through which young women, at the most +delicate age, are ensnared into the power of the Roman priests--and +that the toleration of the monastic system in the United States and +Britain, the only two countries in the world, in which that unnatural +abomination is now extending its withering influence, is high treason +against God and mankind. If American citizens and British Christians, +after the appalling developments which have been made, permit the +continuance of that prodigious wickedness which is inseparable from +nunneries and the celibacy of popish priests, they will ere long +experience that divine castigation which is justly due to +transgressors, who wilfully trample upon all the appointments of God, +and who subvert the foundation of national concord, and extinguish the +comforts of domestic society. Listen to the challenge again! _All the +papers with which the Protestant Vindicator exchanges, are requested to +give the challenge one or two insertions_." (Here it was repeated.) + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of a friend in the hospital_ + +_Statement_ made by a respectable woman, who had the charge of me +during a part of my stay in the Bellevue Hospital, in New York. She is +ready to substantiate it. It is now first published. + +"I was employed as an occasional assistant in the Bellevue Hospital, in +New York, in the spring of the year 1835. My department was in the +Middle House and the pantry. I was present one day in the room of Mrs. +Johnston, the Matron, when a man came in with a young woman, and gave a +note to Mrs. J., (which I understood was from Col. Fish.) the +Superintendent, Mr. Stevens, being out. The female was dressed in a +light blue calico frock, a salmon-coloured shawl, and a black bonnet, +under which was a plain cap, something like a night-cap, which I +afterward understood was a nun's cap. Being occupied at that time, I +paid no attention to the conversation which took place between her and +the Matron; but I soon heard that she was a nun who had escaped from a +convent in Canada, who had been found in a destitute condition, by some +persons shooting in the fields, and that she was in such a situation as +to demand comforts and careful treatment. + +"She was placed in room No. 33, where most of the inmates were aged +American women; but as she appeared depressed and melancholy, the next +day Mr. Stevens brought her into No. 26, and put her under my +particular charge, as he said the women in that room were younger. They +were, however, almost all Roman Catholics as there are many in the +institution generally. + +"I told her she might confide in me, as I felt for her friendless and +unhappy situation; and finding her ignorant of the Bible, and +entertaining some superstitious views, I gave her one, and advised her +to read the scriptures, and judge for herself. We had very little +opportunity to converse in private; and although she several times said +she wished she could tell me something, no opportunity offered, as I +was with her only now and then, when I could step into the room for a +few minutes. I discouraged her from talking, because those around +appeared to be constantly listening, and some told her not to mind +'that heretic.' + +"Seeing her unhappy state of mind, it was several times proposed to her +to see Mr. Tappan; and, after a week or two, as I should judge, he +visited her, advised her to read the Bible, and judge for herself of +her duty. + +"One Sabbath I invited her to attend service, and we went to hear Mr. +Tappan preach; but after her return, some of the Irish women told her +to go no more, but mind her own religion. This produced an impression +upon her, for she seemed like a child of tender feeling, gentle, and +disposed to yield. She bound herself round my heart a good deal, she +was of so affectionate a turn. The rudeness with which she was treated +by several of the women, when they dared, would sometimes overcome her. +A large and rather old woman, named Welsh, one of the inmates, entered +the room one day, very abruptly, saying, 'I want to see this virtuous +nun;' and abused her with most shameful language, so that I had to +return to her, and complain of her to the Superintendent, who was +shocked at such impudence in a foreign pauper, so that she was put into +another room. Maria was washing her hands at the time Mrs. Welsh came +in, and was so much agitated, that she did not raise her head, and +almost fainted, so that I had to lift her upon a bed. + +"Before this occurrence, the women would often speak to Maria while I +was away and, as I had every reason to believe, endeavoured to persuade +her to go to the priests. I told them that they ought rather to protect +her, as she had come to the same country where they had sought +protection. + +"Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest, used to be regularly at the institution +two or three times a week, from about 10 till 1 o'clock, both before +and after Maria Monk became an inmate of it. No. 10 was his +confession-room. He baptised children in the square-ward, and sometimes +visited the sick Catholics in other rooms. Sometimes he went up in the +afternoon also. + +"I heard it said, that Mr. Conroy had asked to speak with Maria: and +that an offer was made to him that he might see her before others, but +not otherwise, to which Mr. Conroy did not consent. + +"Sometimes Maria was much disturbed in her sleep, starting suddenly, +with every appearance of terror. Some nights she did not sleep at all, +and often told me, what I had no doubt was the fact, that she was too +much agitated by the recollection of what she had seen in the Nunnery. +She would sometimes say in the morning, 'O, if I could tell you! You +think you have had trouble, but I have had more than ever you did.' + +"Her distressing state of mind, with the trials caused by those around +her, kept me constantly thinking of Maria, so that when employed at a +distance from her, I would often run to her room, to see how she was +for a moment, and back again. Fortunately, the women around held me +somewhat in fear, because they found my reports of the interference of +some were attended to; and this kept them more at a distance; yet they +would take advantage of my absence sometimes. One day, on coming to No. +23. I found Maria all in a tremour, and she told me that Mrs. ----, one +of the Roman Catholic nurses, had informed her that Mr. Conroy was in +the institution, and wished to see her. 'And what shall I do?' she +inquired of me, in great distress. + +"I told her not to be afraid, and that she should be protected, as she +was among friends, and endeavoured to quiet her fears all I could; but +it was very difficult to do so. One of the women in the house, I know, +told Maria, in my presence, one day, that Mr. Conroy was waiting in the +passage to see her. The present Superintendent (another Mr. Stevens) +succeeded the former while Maria and I were in the Hospital. Abby Welsh +(not the Mrs. Welsh mentioned before) got very angry with me one day, +because, as usual on the days when Mr. Conroy came, I was watchful to +prevent his having an interview with Maria. Another person, for a time, +used to employ her in sewing in her room on those days, for she also +protected her, as well in this way, as by reproving those who troubled +her. Abby Welsh, finding me closely watching Maria on the day I was +speaking of, told me, in a passion, that I might watch her as closely +as I pleased--Mr. Conroy _would have her_. Not long after this, I saw +Abby Welsh talking earnestly with Mr. Conroy, in the yard, under one of +the windows of the Middle House, and heard her say, 'the nun,' and +afterward, 'she's hid.' + +"A Roman Catholic woman, who supposed that Maria had been seen in St. +Mary's Church, expressed a wish that she could have caught her there; +and said, she would never again have made her appearance. I inquired +whether there was any place where she could have been confined. She +replied, in a reserved, but significant manner, 'There is at least one +cell there for her.' + +"New York, March 23d, 1836." + +It would be a natural question, if my readers should ask, "What said +the Roman Catholics to such testimonials? They laid great stress on +affidavits sent for to Montreal; what do they think of affidavits +spontaneously given in New York?" + +So far as I know, they have republished but one, and that is Mr. +Miller's! + +The New York Catholic Diary of March 19th, said-- + +"We take the following _overwhelming_ testimony from the _Brooklyn +American Citizen_ of the 11th instant: + +"The following affidavits, &c., are copied from the last No. of the +'Protestant Vindicator,' and prove, it seems to us, taken with other +corroborating circumstances, the falsehood and irrelevancy of the +testimony against Miss Monk, and therefore establish the truth of her +narrative:" + +(Here it inserted Mr. Miller's affidavit, and then added:) + +"What is the weight of the affidavit? Of ponderous import? I inquired +where Maria was, and she told me she was in the Nunnery? Therefore she +is an eloped Nun. Marvellous logical affidavit! We may say, that when +an inquiry is made after the editor of this paper, and the answer is, +that he was in Protestant Church, therefore he is a Protestant +minister." + +The Rev. Mr. Schneller, (for a Catholic priest is the editor of that +paper,) thus tries to slide over the important testimony of Mr. Miller, +and in doing it, admits that I was in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in the +summer of 1832. Of course, _he admits then, that Dr. Robertson's +testimony to the contrary it false, and gives up the great point which +the Montreal affidavits were intended to settle,_ viz. that I had not +been in any Nunnery--at least, not since I was a child. + +But another thing is worthy of remark. The Diary says, "We take the +following overwhelming testimony from the Brooklyn American Citizen," +yet he really leaves out the greater part of the testimony which that +paper contained, viz. the certificate beginning on page 251. Let any +one turn to that, and ask whether the editor had not some reason to +wish to keep it from his readers? Did he not get rid of it very +ingeniously, when he inserted the following remarks instead of it? + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +"Excellent! 'delicacy to a lady's feelings!!' we are absorbed in an +exclamation of wonder; the _delicate_ name, in a matter of such vast +importance, as that which affects the _truth_ of the slanderous tale, +cannot be mentioned! + +"Therefore, 'we, the subscribers,' 'Brownlee, Slocum, Brace, Fanshaw, +Belden, Wesson, and Hogan,' rest the weight of their authority upon the +'delicacy' of a nameless 'lady's feelings.'" + +Now here Mr. Shellner pretends that the witness was not accessible, and +leaves it in doubt, whether the subscribers, (men of known character +and unimpeachable veracity.) knew any thing of her. Yet it was +expressly stated by them that she was known, and that any reasonable +inquiries would be readily answered. (See p. 249.) + +I have no intention of attempting to enforce the evidence presented in +the testimonials just given. I shall leave every reader to form his own +conclusions independently and dispassionately. I could easily say +things likely to excite the feelings of every one who peruses these +pages--but I prefer to persist in the course I have thus far pursued, +and abstain from all exciting expressions. The things I declare are +sober realities, and nothing is necessary to have them so received, but +that the evidence be calmly laid before the public. + +I will make one or two suggestions here, for the purpose of directing +attention to points of importance, though one or two of them have been +already touched upon. + +1st. One of the six affidavits was given by Dr. Robertson, and the +remaining five were sworn to before him. + +2d. The witnesses speak of interviews with me, on two of the most +distressing days of my life. Now let the reader refer to those +affidavits and then say, whether any expressions which they may have +misunderstood, or any which may have been fabricated for me, (as I +strongly suspect must have been the fact with some,) ought to destroy +my character for credibility; especially when I appeal to evidence so +incontestible as an inspection of the nunnery, and my opponents shrink +from it. Let the reader observe also, that in the interviews spoken of +in the affidavits, no third person is commonly spoken of as present; +while those who are named are most of them inimical to me. + +3d. All the testimony in the affidavits is aimed to destroy my +character, and to prevent me from receiving any credit as a witness. +Not a bit of it meets the charges I make against the priests and nuns. +If they had proved that I never was in the nunnery, that, indeed would +set aside my testimony: but failing to do [illegible], the attempt goes +far to set their own aside. + +Having now fairly shown my readers what reception my first edition met +with, both from enemies and friends, I proceed to the "Sequel" of my +narrative. + +THE END. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + +***** This file should be named 8095.txt or 8095.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/8/0/9/8095/ + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. 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Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Awful Disclosures + Containing, Also, Many Incidents Never before Published + +Author: Maria Monk + +Release Date: May, 2005 [EBook #8095] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 14, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + + + + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + +[Note from the etext editor: The original page scans used to create this +text were illegible in places; the notation [illegible] has been used in +the text to indicate these places. Additionally, Chapter XIV was missing +from both the table of contents and the book; presumably this is a +printing error as opposed to an actual missing chapter.] + + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES, + +By + +MARIA MONK, + +Of the + +HOTEL DIEU NUNNERY OF MONTREAL. + +Containing, also, Many Incidents Never Before Published. + + + + +PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +This volume embraces not only my "Awful Disclosures," but a continuation +of my Narrative, giving an account of events after my escape from the +Nunnery, and of my return to Montreal to procure a legal investigation +of my charges. It also [illegible] all the testimony that has been +published against me, or every description, as well as that which has +been given in confirmation of my story. At the close, will be found a +Review of the whole Subject, furnished by a gentleman well qualified for +the purpose; and finally, a copious Appendix, giving further particulars +interesting to the public. + +I present this volume to the reader, with feelings which, I trust, will +be in some degree appreciated when it has been read and reflected upon. +A hasty perusal, and an imperfect apprehension of its contents, can +never produce such impressions as it has been my design to make by the +statements I have laid before the world. I know that misapprehensions +exist in the minds of some virtuous people. I am not disposed to condemn +their motives, for it does not seem wonderful that in a pure state of +society, and in the midst of Christian families, there should be persons +who regard the crimes I have mentioned as too monstrous to believed. It +certainly is creditable to American manners and character, that the +people are inclined, at the first sight, to turn from my story with +horror. + +There is also an excuse for those who, having received only a general +impression concerning the nature of my Disclosures, question the +propriety of publishing such immorality to the world. They fear that the +minds of the young, at least, may be polluted. To such I have to say, +that this objection was examined and set aside, long before they had an +opportunity to make it. I solemnly believe it is necessary to inform +parents, at least, that the ruin from which I have barely escaped, lies +in the way of their children, even if delicacy must be in some degree +wounded by revealing the fact. I understand the case, alas! from too +bitter experience. Many an innocent girl may this year be exposed to the +dangers of which I was ignorant. I am resolved, that so far as depends +on me, not one more victim shall fall into the hands of those enemies in +whose power I so lately have been. I know what it is to be under the +dominion of Nuns and Priests; and I maintain, that it is a far greater +offence against virtue and decency to conceal than to proclaim their +crimes. Ah! had a single warning voice even whispered to me a word of +caution--had even a gentle note of alarm been sounded to me, it might +have turned back my foot from the Convent when it was upon the +threshold! If, therefore, there is any one now bending a step that way, +whom I have, not yet alarmed, I will cry _beware!_ + +But the virtuous reader need not fear, in the following pages, to meet +with vice presented in any dress but her own deformity. No one can +accuse me of giving a single attraction to crime. On the contrary, I +intend my book shall be a warning to those who may hereafter be tempted +by vice; and with the confidence that such it will prove to be, I +commend it to the careful examination of virtuous parents, and am +willing to abide by their unbiased opinion, with regard both to my +truth, my motives, and the interest which the public have in the +developments it contains. + +I would now appeal to the world, and ask, whether I have not done all +that could have been expected of me, and all that lay in my power, to +bring to an investigation the charges I have brought against the priests +and nuns of Canada. Although it was necessary to the cause of truth, +that I should, in some degree, implicate myself, I have not hesitated to +appear as a voluntary self-accuser before the world. While there was a +hope that the authorities in Canada might be prevailed upon to bring the +subject to a legal investigation, I travelled to Montreal in a feeble +state of health, and with an infant in my arms only three weeks old. In +the face of many threats and dangers, I spent nearly a month in that +city, in vain attempts to bring my cause to a trial. When all prospect +of success in this undertaking had disappeared, and not till then, I +determined to make my accusations through the press; and although +misrepresentations and scandals, flattery and threats, have been +resorted to, to nullify or to suppress my testimony, I have persevered, +although, as many of my friends have thought, at the risk of abduction +or death. + +I have, I think, afforded every opportunity that could be reasonably +expected, to judge of my credibility. I have appealed to the existence +of things in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, as the great criterion of the truth +of my story. I have described the apartments, and now, in this volume, +have added many further particulars, with such a description of them as +my memory has enabled me to make. I have offered, in case I should be +proved an impostor, to submit to any punishment which may be proposed-- +even to a re-delivery into the hands of my bitterest enemies, to suffer +what they may please to inflict. + +Now, in these circumstances, I would ask the people of the United +States, whether my duty has not been discharged? Have I not done what I +ought--to inform and to alarm them? I would also solemnly appeal to the +Government of Great Britain, under whose guardianship is the province +oppressed by the gloomy institution from which I have escaped, and ask +whether such atrocities ought to be tolerated, and even protected by an +enlightened and Christian power? I trust the hour is near, when the dens +of the Hotel Dieu will be laid open--when the tyrants who have polluted +it will be brought out, with the wretched victims of their oppression +and crimes. + + + +CONTENTS + + * * * * * + +CHAPTER I. + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First School--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the Nunneries +in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black Nunnery--The Grey +Nunnery--Public Respect for these Institutions--Instruction Received-- +The Catechism--The Bible + +CHAPTER II. + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery + +CHAPTER III. + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black Nunnery--Entrance-- +Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which they had Access-- +First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the Superior--Her Reliques +--The Holy Good Shepherd, or nameless Nun--Confession of Novices + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. Denis--Reliques-- +Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made by some Novices-- +Ideas of the Bible + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosures--Resolution to Submit + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st Floor--2d +Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of Novices-- +Religious Lies--Criminality of concealing Sins at Confession + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the Cellar-- +Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's Instructions-- +Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the Nunnery--Opinions +expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of the Scriptures + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the Convent-- +Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her House--The +Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane Ray-- +Vaccillation of feelings + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports made +to friends of St. Francis + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in it-- +Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted +Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of her Tricks--Feigned Humility-- +Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made by stratagem + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives--Jane Ray's +Hymns--The Superior's best Trick + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy Retreat-- +Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract Conscience--Ingenious +Arguments + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in Sleep--Amusements +--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased Nuns--Sudden +disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new one-- +Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with other +Nuns + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupations in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of War Candles--The Election Riots-- +Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders in +the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for it--Plan--Deliberation-- +Attempt--Success + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the night-- +Disappointment--My first day out of the Convent--Solitude-- +Recollections, fears, and plans + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to land +--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before day-- +Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a vagrant-- +Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it to Mrs. +McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New York-- +Arrangements for going + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal boat-- +Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to rain-- +Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the Bellevue +Almshouse. + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the priests-- +Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, Burlington, St. +Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at Montreal--Reflections +on passing the Nunnery. + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his church-- +Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit taken--Legal +objection to it when taken + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections The truth of the +work demonstrated + +APPENDIX--Reception of the work--Affidavits--Criticisms of the press, +&c. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +Here is the reprint of one of the most formidable books against +Nunneries ever published. It has produced powerful impressions abroad, +as well as in the United States, and appears destined to have still +greater results. It is the simple narrative of an uneducated and +unprotected female, who escaped from the old Black Nunnery of Montreal, +or Hotel Dieu, and told her tale of sufferings and horrors, without +exaggeration or embellishment. Though assailed by all the powers of the +Romish priesthood, whom she accused, and by the united influence of the +North American press, which, with very small exceptions, was then +unenlightened by the discoveries of the present day, the book remains +unimpeached, and still challenges the test of fair and open examination. + +Many an American female, no doubt, is now living, who might justly +acknowledge that she was saved from exposure to the suffering, or even +the ruin, often the consequences of a Convent education, by the +disinterested warning given in this book; while its author, disheartened +at length by the powerful combination of Protestants and Papists against +her, led to distrust even the few who remained her friends, destitute of +the means of living, and alternately persecuted and tempted by her ever +watchful and insidious enemies, died some years since, under +condemnation (whether just or unjust) for one of the slightest of the +crimes which she had charged against them--thus falling at last their +victim. + +American parents have here a book written for the salvation of their +daughters; American patriots, one designed to secure society against one +of the most destructive but insidious institutions of popery; American +females, an appeal to them of the most solemn kind, to beware of +Convents, and all who attempt to inveigle our unsuspecting daughters +into them, by the secret apparatus of Jesuit schools. The author of this +book was a small, slender, uneducated, and persecuted young woman, who +sought refuge in our country without a protector; but she showed the +resolution and boldness of a heroine, in confronting her powerful +enemies in their strong hold, and proved, by the simple force of truth, +victorious in the violent conflicts which were waged against her by the +Romish hierarchy of America and the popular press of the United States. + +The publishers have thought the present an opportune period to place +this work again in the hands of American readers, with such information, +in a preface, as is necessary to acquaint readers of the present day +with the leading circumstances attending and succeeding its original +publication. They have examined most of the evidence supporting the +truth of the narrative, of which the public can judge as well as +themselves. The details would be voluminous, even of those portions +which have been collected since the heat of the controversy which the +book long ago excited. Suffice it to say, that undesigned and collateral +evidence in corroboration of it has been increasing to the present day; +and that the following brief review of some of the early events will +afford a fair specimen of the whole. + +In the year 1835, Maria Monk was found alone, and in a wretched and +feeble condition, on the outskirts of New York city, by a humane man, +who got her admitted into the hospital at Bellevue. She then first told +the story in outline, which she afterwards and uniformly repeated in +detail, and which was carefully written down and published in the +following form:--she said she was a fugitive nun from the Hotel Dieu of +Montreal, whence she had effected her escape, in consequence of cruelty +which she had suffered, and crimes which were there committed by the +Romish priests, who had the control of the institution, and to which +they had access, by private as well as public entrances. Having +expressed a willingness to go to that city, make public accusations, and +point out evidences of their truth in the convent itself, she was taken +thither by a resolute man, who afterwards suffered for an act of great +merit; but she was unable to obtain a fair hearing, apparently through +the secret opposition of the priests. She returned to New York, where +her story was thought worthy of publication; and it was proposed to have +it carefully written down from her lips, and published in a small +pamphlet. Everything she communicated was, therefore, accurately written +down, and, when copied out, read to her for correction. But the amount +of important material in her possession, proved to be far greater than +had been supposed, and many pages of notes were accumulated on numerous +topics brought up to her attention in the course of conversation and +inquiry. All those were submitted to persons fully competent to decide +as to the reliability of the evidence, and the strictest and most +conscientious care was taken to ascertain the truth. + +There were but very few Protestants in the United States acquainted with +the condition or history of convents in different countries, the +characters of those who control and direct them, the motives they have +for keeping them secret, the occupations often pursued within their +walls, in short, the shameful practices and atrocious crimes of which +they have been proved to be the theatres, in modern and ancient times, +by Romish ecclesiastics and even popes themselves. The public were, +therefore, quite unprepared to believe such accusations against men +professing sanctity of life, and a divine commission to the world, +although Miss Harrison and Miss Reed of Boston had published startling +reports respecting the character of the priests and nuns in that +vicinity. + +The following were some of the considerations which were kept in view by +those who proposed the publication of the narrative:-- + +"If the story is false, it must have been forged by the narrator or some +other party. There must have been a motive in either case; and that may +be either to obtain notoriety or money, to injure the reputation of the +priests accused, or ultimately to remove the unfavorable impressions +thrown upon them by their former accusers, by first making charges of +atrocious crimes, and then disproving them. On the other hand, the story +may perhaps be true; and if so, the world ought to know it. In the +meantime, here is an unprotected, and evidently unfortunate young woman, +of an interesting appearance, who asks to be allowed to make her +complaint, voluntarily consenting to submit to punishment if she does +not speak the truth. _She must be allowed a hearing._" + +It is but justice to say that the investigation was undertaken with +strong suspicions of imposture somewhere, and with a fixed resolution to +expose it if discovered. As the investigation proceeded, opinions at +first fluctuated, sometimes from day to day; but it became evident, ere +long, that if the story had been fabricated, it was not the work of the +narrator, as she had not the capacity to invent one so complex and +consistent with itself and with many historical facts entirely beyond +the limited scope of her knowledge. It was also soon perceived that she +could never have been taught it by others, as no part of it was +systematically arranged in her mind, and she communicated it in the +incidental manner common to uneducated persons, who recount past scenes +in successive conversations. + +As she declared from the first that she had been trained to habits of +deception in the Convent, and accustomed to witness deceit and +criminality, no confidence could be claimed for her mere unsupported +declarations; and therefore a course of thorough cross-questioning was +pursued, every effort being made to lead her to contradict herself, but +without success. She told the same things over and over again in a +natural and consistent manner, when brought back to the same point after +intervals of weeks or months. In several instances it was thought that +contradictions had been traced, but when called on to reconcile her +statements, she cleared up all doubt by easy and satisfactory +explanations. The course pursued by the priests of Canada and their +advocates, was such as greatly to confirm the opinion that she spoke the +truth, and that they were exceedingly afraid of it. The following were +some of the contradictory grounds which they at different times assumed +in their bitter attacks upon her, her friends, and her books: + +That she had never been in the nunnery. + +That she had been expelled from it. + +That she had fabricated everything that she published. + +That several pages from her book, published in the New York "Sun," were +copied verbatim et literatim from a work published in Portugal above a +hundred years before, entitled "The Gates of Hell Opened." + +That there never was a subterranean passage from the seminary to the +nunnery. + +That there was such a passage in that direction, but that it led to the +River St. Lawrence. + +That the drawings and descriptions of the nunnery, and especially of the +veiled department, were wholly unlike the reality, but applied to the +Magdalen Asylum of Montreal. + +That several objects described by her were in the nunnery, but not in +those parts of it where she had placed them. (This was said by a person +who admitted that he had been lost amidst the numerous and extensive +apartments when he made his observations.) + +That the book was fabricated by certain persons in New York who were +named, they being gentlemen of the highest character. + +That the book was her own production, but written under the instigation +of the devil. + +That the author was a layman, and ought to be hung on the first lamp- +post. + +That the nunnery was a sacred place, and ought not to be profaned by the +admission of enemies of the church. + +After a committee had been appointed to examine the nunnery and report, +and their demand for admission had been published a year or more, the +editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, a Montreal newspaper, devoted to the +priests' cause, offered to admit persons informally, and did admit +several Americans, who had been strong partisans against the +"Disclosures." Their letters on the subject, though very indefinite, +contained several important, though undesigned admissions, strongly +corroborating the book. + +One of the most common charges against the book was, that it had been +written merely for the purpose of obtaining money. Of the falseness of +this there is decisive evidence. It was intended to secure to the poor +and persecuted young female, any profits which might arise from the +publication; but most of the labor and time devoted to the work were +gratuitously bestowed. Besides this they devoted much time to efforts +necessary to guard against the numerous and insidious attempts made by +friends of the priests, who by various arts endeavored to produce +dissention and delay, as well as to pervert public opinion. + +The book was published, and had an almost unprecedented sale, impressing +deep convictions, wherever it went, by its simple and consistent +statements. In Canada, especially, it was extensively received as true; +but as the American newspapers were soon enlisted against it, the +country was filled with misrepresentations, which it was impossible +through those channels to follow with refutations. Her noble sacrifices +for the good of others were misunderstood, she withdrew from her few +remaining friends, and at length died in poverty and prison, a victim of +the priests of Rome. Various evidences in favor of its truth afterwards +appeared, with which the public have never been generally made +acquainted. Some of these were afforded during an interview held in New +York, August 17th, 1836, with Messrs. Jones and Le Clerc, who had came +from Montreal with a work in reply to "Awful Disclosures," which was +afterwards published. They had offered to confront Maria Monk, and prove +her an impostor, and make her confess it in the presence of her friends. +She promptly appeared; and the first exclamation of Mr. Jones proved +that she was not the person he had supposed her to be: _"This is not +Fawny Johnson!"_ said he; and he afterwards said, "There must be two +Maria Monks!" Indeed, several persons were at different times +represented to bear that name; and much confusion was caused in the +testimony by that artifice. The interview continued about two hours, +during which the Canadians made a very sorry figure, entirely failing to +gain any advantage, and exposing their own weakness. At the close, an +Episcopal clergyman from Canada, one of the company, said: "Miss Monk, +if I had had any doubts of your truth before this interview, they would +now have been entirely removed." + +The book of Mr. Jones was published, and consisted of affidavits, &c., +obtained in Canada, including those which had previously been published, +and which are contained in the Appendix to this volume. Many of them +were signed by names unknown, or those of low persons of no credit, or +devoted to the service of the priests. Evidence was afterwards obtained +that Mr. Jones was paid by the Canadian ecclesiastics, of which there +had been strong indications. What rendered his defeat highly important +was, that he was the editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, the priests' +newspaper, in Montreal, and he was "the author of everything which had +been written there against Maria Monk," and had collected all "the +affidavits and testimony." These were his own declarations. An accurate +report of the interview was published, and had its proper effect, +especially his exclamation--"This is not Fanny Johnson!" + +The exciting controversy has long passed, but the authentic records of +it are imperishable, and will ever be regarded as an instructive study. +The corruptions and crimes of nunneries, and the hypocrisy and chicanery +of those who control them, with the varied and powerful means at their +command, are there displayed to an attentive reader, in colors as dark +and appalling as other features of the popish system are among us, by +the recent exposures of the impudent arrogance of the murderer Bedini, +and the ambitious and miserly spirit of his particular friend, the +Romish Archbishop of New York. + +Among the recent corroborates of the "Awful Disclosures," may be +particularly mentioned the two narratives entitled "Coralla," and +"Confessions of a Sister of Charity," contained in the work issued this +season by the publishers of the present volume, viz.: "_The Escaped +Nun_; or, Disclosures of Convent Life," &c. Of the authenticity of +those two narratives we can give the public the strongest assurance. + +After the city of Rome had been taken by siege by the French army, in +1849, the priests claimed possession of a female orphan-asylum, which +had something of the nature of a nunnery. The republican government had +given liberty to all recluses, and opened all _secret institutions_. +(When will Americans do the same?) + +Subsequently, when the papists attempted to reinstate the old system, +the females remonstrated, barred the doors, and armed themselves with +knives and spits from the kitchen, but the French soldiers succeeded in +reducing them by force. During the contest the cry of the women was, "We +will not be the _wives_ of the priests!" + +In one of the convents in that city, opened by the republicans, were +found evidences of some of the worst crimes mentioned by Maria Monk; and +in another were multitudes of bones, including those of children. + +A strong effort will probably be made again, by the parties exposed by +this book, to avoid the condemnation which it throws upon convents--the +strongholds of superstition, corruption, and _foreign influence_, +in the United States. The Romish publications, although greatly reduced +in number within a few years, will probably pour out much of their +unexhausted virulence, as it is their vocation to misrepresent, deny, +and vilify. They will be ready to pronounce a general anathema on all +who dare to reprint, or even to read or believe, such strong accusations +against the "holy retreats" of those whom they pretend are "devoted to +lives of piety." But we will challenge them to do it again, by placing +some of their iron bishops and even popes in the forefront. + +In the year 1489, in the reign of Henry VII, Pope Innocent VIII +published a bull for the Reformation of Monasteries, entitled, in Latin, +"_De Reformatione Monasceriorum_," in which he says that, "members +of monasteries and other religious places, both Clemian, Cistercian, and +Praemonstratensian, and various other orders in the Kingdom of England" +--"lead a lascivious and truly dissolute life." And that the papist +reader may receive this declaration with due reverence, we copy the +preceding words in Latin, as written by an infallible pope, the man +whose worshippers address him as "Vicegerent of God on earth." Of course +his words must convince them, if ours do not: "Vitam lascivam ducunt, et +nimium dissolutam." "Swine Priory," in 1303, had a Prioress named +Josiana, whose conduct made the name of her house quite appropriate. In +France, in the Council of Troyes, A. D. 999, the Archbishop said, "In +convents of monks, canons, and nuns, we have lay abbots residing with +their wives, sons, daughters, soldiers and dogs;" and he charges the +whole clergy with being in a deprived and sinful state. But the +particulars now before us, of such shameful things in Germany, Italy, +&c., for ages, would fill a larger volume than this. + +Now, let the defenders of nunneries repeat, if they dare, their +hackneyed denunciations of those who deny their sanctity. Here stand +some of their own bishops and popes before us; and the anathemas must +fall first upon mitres and tiaras! Americans will know how much +confidence to place in the pretended purity of institutions, whose +iniquity and shame have been thus proclaimed, age after age, in a far +more extensive manner than by this book. But we can at any time shut +their mouths by the mere mention of "_Den's Theology_," which they +must not provoke us to refer to. + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS. + + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First Schools--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the Nunneries +in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black Nunnery--The Grey +Nunnery--Public Respect for these Institutions--Instruction Received-- +The Catechism--The Bible. + +My parents were both from Scotland, but had been resident in Lower +Canada some time before their marriage, which took place in Montreal; +and in that city I spent most of my life. I was born at St. John's, +where they lived for a short time. My father was an officer under the +British Government, and my mother has enjoyed a pension on that account +ever since his death. [Footnote: See the affidavit of William Miller, in +the Appendix.] + +According to my earliest recollections, he was attentive to his family; +and a particular passage from the Bible, which often occurred to my mind +in after life, I may very probably have been taught by him, as after his +death I do not recollect to have received any religious instruction at +home; and was not even brought up to read the scriptures: my mother, +although nominally a Protestant, not being accustomed to pay attention +to her children in this respect. She was rather inclined to think well +of the Catholics, and often attended their churches. To my want of +religious instruction at home, and the ignorance of my Creator, and my +duty, which was its natural effect. I think I can trace my introduction +to Convents, and the scenes which I am to describe in this narrative. + +When about six or seven years of age, I went to school to a Mr. Workman, +a Protestant, who taught in Sacrament street, and remained several +months. There I learned to read and write, and arithmetic as far as +division. All the progress I ever made in those branches was gained in +that school, as I have never improved in any of them since. + +A number of girls of my acquaintance went to school to the nuns of the +Congregational Nunnery, or Sisters of Charity, as they are sometimes +called. The schools taught by them are perhaps more numerous than some +of my readers may imagine. Nuns are sent out from that Convent to many +of the towns and villages of Canada to teach small schools; and some of +them are established as instructresses in different parts of the United +States. When I was about ten years old, my mother asked me one day if I +should not like to learn to read and write French; and I then began to +think seriously of attending the school in the Congregational Nunnery. I +had already some acquaintance with that language, sufficient to speak it +a little, as I heard it every day, and my mother knew something of it. + +I have a distinct recollection of my first entrance into the Nunnery; +and the day was an important one in my life, as on it commenced my +acquaintance with a Convent. I was conducted by some of my young friends +along Notre Dame street till we reached the gate. Entering that, we +walked some distance along the side of a building towards the chapel, +until we reached a door, stopped, and rung a bell. This was soon opened, +and entering, we proceeded through a long covered passage till we took a +short turn to the left, soon after which we reached the door of the +school-room. On my entrance, the Superior met me, and told me first of +all that I must always dip my fingers into the holy water at her door, +cross myself, and say a short prayer; and this she told me was always +required of Protestant as well as Catholic children. + +There were about fifty girls in the school, and the nuns professed to +teach something of reading, writing, arithmetic, and geography. The +methods, however, were very imperfect, and little attention was devoted +to them, the time being in a great degree engrossed with lessons in +needle-work, which was performed with much skill. The nuns had no very +regular parts assigned them in the management of the schools. They were +rather rough and unpolished in their manners, often exclaiming, "c'est +un menti" (that's a lie), and "mon Dieu" (my God), on the most trivial +occasions. Their writing was quite poor, and it was not uncommon for +them to put a capital letter in the middle of a word. The only book on +geography which we studied, was a catechism of geography, from which we +learnt by heart a few questions and answers. We were sometimes referred +to a map, but it was only to point out Montreal or Quebec, or some other +prominent name, while we had no instruction beyond. + +It may be necessary for the information of some of my readers, to +mention that there are three distinct Convents in Montreal, all of +different kinds; that is, founded on different plans, and governed by +different rules. Their names are as follows:-- + +1st. The Congregational Nunnery. + +2d. The Black Nunnery, or Convent of Sister Bourgeoise. + +3d The Grey Nunnery. + +The first of these professes to be devoted entirely to the education of +girls. It would require however only a proper examination to prove that, +with the exception of needle-work, hardly anything is taught excepting +prayers and the catechism; the instruction in reading, writing, &c., in +fact, amounting to very little, and often to nothing. This Convent is +adjacent to that next to be spoken of, being separated from it only by a +wall. The second professes to be a charitable institution for the care +of the sick, and the supply of bread and medicines for the poor; and +something is done in these departments of charity, although but an +insignificant amount, compared with the size of the buildings, and the +number of the inmates. + +The Grey Nunnery, which is situated in a distant part of the city, is +also a large edifice, containing departments for the care of insane +persons and foundlings. With this, however, I have less personal +acquaintance than with either of the others. I have often seen two of +the Grey nuns, and know that their rules, as well as those of the +Congregational Nunnery, do not confine them always within their walls, +like those of the Black Nunnery. These two Convents have their common +names (Black and Grey) from the colours of the dresses worn by their +inmates. + +In all these three Convents, there are certain apartments into which +strangers can gain admittance, but others from which they are always +excluded. In all, large quantities of various ornaments are made by the +nuns, which are exposed for sale in the _Ornament_ Rooms, and +afford large pecuniary receipts every year, which contribute much to +their incomes. In these rooms visitors often purchase such things as +please them from some of the old [Footnote: The term "old nun," does not +always indicate superior age.] and confidential nuns who have the charge +of them. + +From all that appears to the public eye, the nuns of these Convents are +devoted to the charitable objects appropriate to each, the labour of +making different articles, known to be manufactured by them, and the +religious observances, which occupy a large portion of their time. They +are regarded with much respect by the people at large; and now and then +when a novice takes the veil, she is supposed to retire from the +temptations and troubles of this world into a state of holy seclusion, +where, by prayer, self-mortification, and good deeds, she prepares +herself for heaven. Sometimes the Superior of a Convent obtains the +character of working miracles; and when such a one dies, it is published +through the country, and crowds throng the Convent, who think +indulgences are to be derived from bits of her clothes or other things +she has possessed; and many have sent articles to be touched to her bed +or chair, in which a degree of virtue is thought to remain. I used to +participate in such ideas and feelings, and began by degrees to look +upon a nun as the happiest of women, and a Convent as the most peaceful, +holy, and delightful place of abode. It is true, some pains were taken +to impress such views upon me. Some of the priests of the Seminary often +visited the Congregation Nunnery, and both catechised and talked with us +on religion. The Superior of the Black Nunnery adjoining, also, +occasionally came into the School, enlarged on the advantages we enjoyed +in having such teachers, and dropped something now and then relating to +her own Convent, calculated to make us entertain the highest ideas of +it, and to make us sometimes think of the possibility of getting into +it. + +Among the instructions given us by the priests, some of the most pointed +were those directed against the Protestant Bible. They often enlarged +upon the evil tendency of that book, and told us that but for it many a +soul now condemned to hell, and suffering eternal punishment, might have +been in happiness. They could not say any thing in its favour: for that +would be speaking against religion and against God. They warned us +against it, and represented it as a thing very dangerous to our souls. +In confirmation of this, they would repeat some of the answers taught us +at catechism, a few of which I will here give. We had little catechisms +("Le Petit Catechism") put into our hands to study; but the priests soon +began to teach us a new set of answers, which were not to be found in +our books, and from some of which I received new ideas, and got, as I +thought, important light on religious subjects, which confirmed me more +and more in my belief in the Roman Catholic doctrines. These questions +and answers I can still recall with tolerable accuracy, and some of them +I will add here. I never have read them, as we were taught them only by +word of mouth. + +_Question_. "Pourquoi le bon Dieu n'a pas fait tous les +commandemens?" + +_Reponse_. "Parce que l'homme n'est pas si fort qu'il peut garder +tous ses commandemens." + +_Q_. "Why did not God make all the commandments?" + +_A_. "Because man is not strong enough to keep them." + +And another. _Q_. "Pourquoi l'homme ne lit pas l'Evangile?" + +_R_. "Parce que l'esprit de l'homme est trop borne et trop faible +pour comprendre qu'est ce que Dieu a ecrit." + +_Q_. "Why are men not to read the New Testament?" + +_A_. "Because the mind of man is too limited and weak to understand +what God has written." + +These questions and answers are not to be found in the common catechisms +in use in Montreal and other places where I have been, but all the +children in the Congregational Nunnery were taught them, and many more +not found in these books. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CONGREGATIONAL NUNNERY. + + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery. + +There was a girl thirteen years old whom I knew in the School, who +resided in the neighborhood of my mother, and with whom I had been +familiar. She told me one day at school of the conduct of a priest with +her at confession, at which I was astonished. It was of so criminal and +shameful a nature, I could hardly believe it, and yet I had so much +confidence that she spoke the truth, that I could not discredit it. + +She was partly persuaded by the priest to believe that he could not sin, +because he was a priest, and that anything he did to her would sanctify +her; and yet she seemed doubtful how she should act. A priest, she had +been told by him, is a holy man, and appointed to a holy office, and +therefore what would be wicked in other men, could not be so in him. She +told me that she had informed her mother of it, who expressed no anger +nor disapprobation, but only enjoined it upon her not to speak of it; +and remarked to her, that as priests were not like other men, but holy, +and sent to instruct and save us, whatever they did was right. + +I afterward confessed to the priest that I had heard the story, and had +a penance to perform for indulging a sinful curiosity in making +inquiries; and the girl had another for communicating it. I afterward +learned that other children had been treated in the same manner, and +also of similar proceedings in other places. + +Indeed, it was not long before such language was used to me, and I well +remember how my views of right and wrong were shaken by it. Another girl +at the School, from a place above Montreal, called the Lac, told me the +following story of what had occurred recently in that vicinity. A young +squaw, called la Belle Marie,(pretty Mary,) had been seen going to +confession at the house of the priest, who lived a little out of the +village. La Belle Marie was afterwards missed, and her murdered body was +found in the river. A knife was also found covered with blood, bearing +the priest's name. Great indignation was excited among the Indians, and +the priest immediately absconded, and was never heard from again. A note +was found on his table addressed to him, telling him to fly if he was +guilty. + +It was supposed that the priest was fearful that his conduct might be +betrayed by this young female; and he undertook to clear himself by +killing her. + +These stories struck me with surprise at first, but I gradually began to +feel differently, even supposing them true, and to look upon the priests +as men incapable of sin; besides, when I first went to confession, which +I did to Father Richards, in the old French church (since taken down), I +heard nothing improper; and it was not until I had been several times, +that the priests became more and more bold, and were at length indecent +in their questions and even in their conduct when I confessed to them in +the Sacristie. This subject I believe is not understood nor suspected +among Protestants; and it is not my intention to speak of it very +particularly, because it is impossible to do so without saying things +both shameful and demoralizing. + +I will only say here, that when quite a child, I had from the mouths of +the priests at confession what I cannot repeat, with treatment +corresponding; and several females in Canada have recently assured me, +that they have repeatedly, and indeed regularly, been required to answer +the same and other like questions, many of which present to the mind +deeds which the most iniquitous and corrupt heart could hardly invent. + +There was a frequent change of teachers in the School of the Nunnery; +and no regular system was pursued in our instruction. There were many +nuns who came and went while I was there, being frequently called in and +out without any perceptible reason. They supply school teachers to many +of the country towns, usually two for each of the towns with which I was +acquainted, besides sending Sisters of Charity to different parts of the +United States. Among those whom I saw most, was Saint Patrick, an old +woman for a nun (that is, about forty), very ignorant, and gross in her +manners, with quite a beard on her face, and very cross and +disagreeable. She was sometimes our teacher in sewing, and was appointed +to keep order among us. We were allowed to enter only a few of the rooms +in the Congregational Nunnery, although it was not considered one of the +secluded Convents. + +In the Black Nunnery, which is very near the Congregational, is an +hospital for sick people from the city; and sometimes some of our +boarders, such as are indisposed, were sent there to be cured. I was +once taken ill myself and sent there, where I remained a few days. + +There were beds enough for a considerable number more. A physician +attended it daily; and there are a number of the veiled nuns of that +Convent who spend most of their time there. + +These would also sometimes read lectures and repeat prayers to us. + +After I had been in the Congregational Nunnery about two years, I left +it,[Footnote: See the 2d affidavit.] and attended several different +schools for a short time; but I soon became dissatisfied, having many +and severe trials to endure at home, which my feelings will not allow me +to describe; and as my Catholic acquaintances had often spoken to me in +favour of their faith, I was inclined to believe it true, although, as I +before said, I knew little of any religion. While out of the nunnery, I +saw nothing of religion. If I had, I believe I should never have thought +of becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +BLACK NUNNERY. + + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black Nunnery--Entrance-- +Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which they had Access-- +First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the Superior--Her Reliques +--The Holy Good Shepherd or nameless Nun--Confession of Novices. + +At length I determined to become a Black nun, and called upon one of the +oldest priests in the Seminary, to whom I made known my intention. + +The old priest to whom I applied was Father Rocque. He is still alive. +He was at that time the oldest priest in the Seminary, and carried the +Bon Dieu, (Good God,) as the sacramental wafer is called. When going to +administer it in any country place, he used to ride with a man before +him, who rang a bell as a signal. When the Canadians heard it, whose +habitations he passed, they would come and prostrate themselves to the +earth, worshipping it as God. He was a man of great age, and wore large +curls, so that he somewhat resembled his predecessor, Father Roue. He +was at that time at the head of the Seminary. This institution is a +large edifice, situated near the Congregational and Black Nunneries, +being on the east side of Notre Dame street. It is the general +rendezvous and centre of all the priests in the District of Montreal, +and, I have been told, supplies all the country with priests as far down +as Three Rivers, which place, I believe, is under the charge of the +Seminary of Quebec. About one hundred and fifty priests are connected +with that of Montreal, as every small place has one priest, and a number +of larger ones have two. + +Father Rocque promised to converse with the Superior of the Convent, and +proposed my calling again, at the end of two weeks, at which time I +visited the Seminary again, and was introduced by him to the Superior of +the Black Nunnery. She told me she must make some inquiries, before she +could give me a decided answer; and proposed to me to take up my abode a +few days at the house of a French family in St. Lawrence suburbs, a +distant part of the city. Here I remained about a fortnight; during +which time I formed some acquaintance with the family, particularly with +the mistress of the house, who was a devoted Papist, and had a high +respect for the Superior, with whom she stood on good terms. + +At length, on Saturday morning about ten o'clock, I called and was +admitted into the Black Nunnery, as a novice, much to my satisfaction, +for I had a high idea of a life in a Convent, secluded, as I supposed +the inmates to be, from the world and all its evil influences, and +assured of everlasting happiness in heaven. The Superior received me, +and conducted me into a large room, where the novices, (who are called +in French Postulantes,) were assembled, and engaged in their customary +occupation of sewing. + +Here were about forty of them, and they were collected in groups in +different parts of the room, chiefly near the windows; but in each group +was found one of the veiled nuns of the Convent, whose abode was in the +interior apartments, to which no novice was to be admitted. As we +entered, the Superior informed the assembly that a new novice had come, +and she desired any present who might have known me in the world to +signify it. + +Two Miss Fougnees, and a Miss Howard, from Vermont, who had been my +fellow-pupils in the Congregational Nunnery, immediately recognised me. +I was then placed in one of the groups, at a distance from them, and +furnished by a nun called Sainte Clotilde, with materials to make a kind +of purse, such as the priests use to carry the consecrated wafer in, +when they go to administer the sacrament to the sick. I well remember my +feelings at that time, sitting among a number of strangers, and +expecting with painful anxiety the arrival of the dinner hour. Then, as +I knew, ceremonies were to be performed, for which I was but ill +prepared, as I had not yet heard the rules by which I was to be +governed, and knew nothing of the forms to be repeated in the daily +exercises, except the creed in Latin, and that imperfectly. This was +during the time of recreation, as it is called. The only recreation +there allowed, however, is that of the mind, and of this there is but +little. We were kept at work, and permitted to speak with each other +only on such subjects as related to the Convent, and all in the hearing +of the old nuns who sat by us. We proceeded to dinner in couples, and +ate in silence while a lecture was read. + +The novices had access to only eight of the apartments of the Convent; +and whatever else we wished to know, we could only conjecture. The +sleeping room was in the second story, at the end of the western wing. +The beds were placed in rows, without curtains or anything else to +obstruct the view; and in one corner was a small room partitioned off, +in which was the bed of the night-watch, that is, the old nun that was +appointed to oversee us for the night. In each side of the partition +were two holes, through which she could look out upon us whenever she +pleased. Her bed was a little raised above the level of the others. +There was a lamp hung in the middle of our chamber which showed every +thing to her distinctly; and as she had no light in her little room, we +never could perceive whether she was awake or asleep. As we knew that +the slightest deviation from the rules would expose us to her +observation, as well as to that of our companions, in whom it was a +virtue to betray one another's faults, as well as to confess our own, I +felt myself under a continual exposure to suffer what I disliked, and +had my mind occupied in thinking of what I was to do next, and what I +must avoid. + +I soon learned the rules and ceremonies we had to regard, which were +many; and we had to be very particular in their observance. We were +employed in different kinds of work while I was a novice. The most +beautiful specimen of the nuns' manufacture which I saw was a rich +carpet made of fine worsted, which had been begun before my acquaintance +with the Convent, and was finished while I was there. This was sent as a +present to the King of England, as an expression of gratitude for the +money annually received from the government. It was about forty yards in +length, and very handsome. We were ignorant of the amount of money thus +received. The Convent of Grey Nuns has also received funds from the +government, though on some account or other, had not for several years. + +I was sitting by a window at one time, with a girl named Jane M'Coy, +when one of the old nuns cams up and spoke to us in a tone of liveliness +and kindness which seemed strange, in a place where everything seemed so +cold and reserved. Some remark which she made was evidently intended to +cheer and encourage me, and made me think that she felt some interest in +me. I do not recollect what she said, but I remember it gave me +pleasure. I also remember that her manner struck me singularly. She was +rather old for a nun, that is, probably thirty; her figure large, her +face wrinkled, and her dress careless. She seemed also to be under less +restraint than the others, and this, I afterward found, was the case. +She sometimes even set the rules at defiance. She would speak aloud when +silence was required, and sometimes walk about when she ought to have +kept her place: she would even say and do things on purpose to make us +laugh; and although often blamed for her conduct, had her offences +frequently passed over, when others would have been punished with +penances. + +I learnt that this woman had always been singular. She never would +consent to take a saint's name on receiving the veil, and had always +been known by her own, which was Jane Ray. Her irregularities were found +to be numerous, and penances were of so little use in governing her, +that she was pitied by some, who thought her partially insane. She was, +therefore, commonly spoken of as mad Jane Ray; and when she committed a +fault, it was often apologized for by the Superior or other nuns, on the +ground that she did not know what she did. + +The occupations of a novice in the Black Nunnery are not such as some of +my readers may suppose. They are not employed in studying the higher +branches of education; they are not offered any advantages for storing +their mind, or polishing their manners; they are not taught even +reading, writing, or arithmetic; much less any of the more advanced +branches of knowledge. My time was chiefly employed, at first, in work +and prayers. It is true, during the last year I studied a great deal, +and was required to work but very little; but it was the study of +prayers in French and Latin, which I had merely to commit to memory, to +prepare for the easy repetition of them on my reception, and after I +should be admitted as a nun. + +Among the wonderful events which had happened in the Convent, that of +the sudden conversion of a gay young lady of the city into a nun, +appeared to me one of the most remarkable. The story which I first +heard, while a novice, made a deep impression upon my mind. It was +nearly as follows: + +The daughter of a wealthy citizen of Montreal was passing the church of +Bon Secours, one evening, on her way to a ball, when she was suddenly +thrown down upon the steps or near the door, and received a severe +shock. She was taken up, and removed first, I think, into the church, +but soon into the Black Nunnery, which she soon determined to join as a +nun; instead, however, of being required to pass through a long +novitiate (which usually occupies about two years and a-half, and is +abridged only where the character is peculiarly exemplary and devout), +she was permitted to take the veil without delay; being declared by God +to a priest to be in a state of sanctity. The meaning of this expression +is, that she was a real saint, and already in a great measure raised +above the world and its influences, and incapable of sinning, possessing +the power of intercession, and being a proper object to be addressed in +prayer. This remarkable individual, I was further informed, was still in +the Convent, though I never was allowed to see her; she did not mingle +with the other nuns, either at work, worship, or meals; for she had no +need of food, and not only her soul, but her body, was in heaven a great +part of her time. What added, if possible, to the reverence and +mysterious awe with which I thought of her, was the fact I learned, that +she had no name. The titles used in speaking of her were, the holy +saint, reverend mother, or saint bon pasteur (the holy good shepherd). + +It is wonderful that we could have carried our reverence for the +Superior as far as we did, although it was the direct tendency of many +instructions and regulations, indeed of the whole system, to permit, +even to foster a superstitious regard for her. + +One of us was occasionally called into her room, to cut her nails or +dress her hair; and we would often collect the clippings, and distribute +them to each other, or preserve them with the utmost care. I once picked +up all the stray hairs I could find, after combing her head, bound them +together, and kept them for some time, until she told me I was not +worthy to possess things so sacred. Jane McCoy and I were once sent to +alter a dress for the Superior. I gathered up all the bits of thread, +made a little bag, and put them into it for safe preservation. This I +wore a long time around my neck, so long, indeed, that I wore out a +number of strings, which, I remember, I replace with new ones. I +believed it to possess the power of removing pain, and often prayed to +it to cure the tooth-ache, &c. Jane Ray sometimes professed to outgo us +all in devotion to the Superior, and would pick up the feathers after +making her bed. These she would distributed among us, saying, "When the +Superior dies, reliques will begin to grow scarce, and you had better +supply yourselves in season." Then she would treat the whole matter in +some way to turn it into ridicule. Equally contradictory would she +appear, when occasionally she would obtain leave from the Superior to +tell her dreams. With a serious face, which sometimes imposed upon all +of us, and made us half believe she was in a perfect state of sanctity, +she would narrate in French some unaccountable vision which she said she +had enjoyed. Then turning round, would say, "There are some who do not +understand me; you all ought to be informed." And then she would say +something totally different in English, which put us to the greatest +agony for fear of laughing. Sometimes she would say that she expected to +be Superior herself, one of these days, and other things which I have +not room to repeat. + +While I was in the Congregational Nunnery, I had gone to the parish +church whenever I was to confess; for although the nuns had a private +confession-room in the building, the boarders were taken in parties +through the streets on different days by some of the nuns, to confess in +the church; but in the Black Nunnery, as we had a chapel and priests +attending in the confessionals, we never left the building. + +Our confessions there as novices, were always performed in one way, so +that it may be sufficient to describe a single case. Those of us who +were to confess at a particular time, took our places on our knees near +the confessional-box, and after having repeated a number of prayers, +&c., prescribed in our books, came up one at a time and kneeled beside a +fine wooden lattice-work, which entirely separated the confessor from +us, yet permitted us to place our faces almost to his ear, and nearly +concealed his countenance from view, even when so near. I recollect how +the priests used to recline their heads on one side, and often covered +their faces with their handkerchiefs, while they heard me confess my +sins, and put questions to me, which were often of the most improper and +even revolting nature, naming crimes both unthought of and inhuman. +Still, strange as it may seem, I was persuaded to believe that all this +was their duty, or at least that it was done without sin. + +Veiled nuns would often appear in the chapel at confession; though, as I +understood, they generally confessed in private. Of the plan of their +confession-rooms I had no information; but I supposed the ceremony to be +conducted much on the same plan as in the chapel and in the church, viz. +with a lattice interposed between the confessor and the confessing. + +Punishments were sometimes resorted to, while I was a novice, though but +seldom. The first time I ever saw a gag, was one day when a young novice +had done something to offend the Superior. This girl I always had +compassion for; because she was very young, and an orphan. The Superior +sent for a gag, and expressed her regret at being compelled, by the bad +conduct of the child, to proceed to such a punishment; after which she +put it into her mouth, so far as to keep it open, and then let it remain +some time before she took it out. There was a leathern strap fastened to +each end, and buckled to the back part of the head. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. Denis--Reliques-- +Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made by some Novices-- +Ideas of the Bible. + + +After I had been in the nunneries four or five years, from the time I +commenced school at the Congregational Convent, one day I was treated by +one of the nuns in a manner which displeased me, and because I expressed +some resentment, was required to beg her pardon. Not being satisfied +with this, although I complied with the command, nor with the coolness +with which the Superior treated me, I determined to quit the Convent at +once, which I did without asking leave. There would have been no +obstacle to my departure, I presume, novice as I then was, if I had +asked permission; but I was too much displeased to wait for that, and +went home without speaking to any one on the subject. + +I soon after visited the town of St. Denis, where I saw two young ladies +with whom I had formerly been acquainted in Montreal, and one of them a +former schoolmate at Mr. Workman's school. After some conversation with +me, and learning that I had known a lady who kept school in the place, +they advised me to apply to her to be employed as her assistant teacher; +for she was then instructing the government school in that place. I +visited her, and found her willing, and I engaged at once as her +assistant. + +The government society paid her 20_l_: a-year: she was obliged to +teach ten children gratuitously; might receive fifteen pence a month +(about a quarter of a dollar), for each of ten scholars more; and then +she was at liberty, according to the regulations, to demand as much as +she pleased for the other pupils. The course of instruction, as required +by the society, embraced only reading, writing, and what was called +ciphering, though I think improperly. The only books used were a +spelling-book, l'Instruction de la Jeunesse, the Catholic New Testament, +and l'Histoire de Canada. When these had been read through, in regular +succession, the children were dismissed as having completed their +education. No difficulty is found in making the common French Canadians +content with such an amount of instruction as this; on the contrary, it +is often very hard indeed to prevail upon them to send their children at +all, for they say it takes too much of the love of God from them to sent +them to school. The teacher strictly complied with the requisitions of +the society in whose employment she was, and the Roman Catholic +catechism was regularly taught in the school, as much from choice as +from submission to authority, as she was a strict Catholic. I had +brought with me the little bag I have before mentioned, in which I had +so long kept the clippings of the thread left after making a dress for +the Superior. Such was my regard for it, that I continued to wear it +constantly round my neck, and to feel the same reverence for its +supposed virtues as before. I occasionally had the toothache during my +stay at St. Denis, and then always relied on the influence of my little +bag. On such occasions I would say-- + +"By the virtue of this bag, may I be delivered from the toothache;" and +I supposed that when it ceased, it was owing to that cause. + +While engaged in this manner, I became acquainted with a man who soon +proposed marriage; and young and ignorant of the world as I was, I heard +his offers with favour. On consulting with my friend, she expressed an +interest for me, advised me against taking such a step, and especially +as I knew little about the man, except that a report was circulated +unfavorable to his character. Unfortunately, I was not wise enough to +listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I had +occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the report proved true--a +report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our separation. +After I had been in St. Denis about three months, finding myself thus +situated, and not knowing what else to do, I determined to return to the +Convent, and pursue my former intention of becoming a Black nun, could I +gain admittance. Knowing the many inquiries that the Superior would make +relative to me, during my absence before leaving St. Denis, I agreed +with the lady with whom I had been associated as a teacher (when she +went to Montreal, which she did very frequently), to say to the Lady +Superior that I had been under her protection during my absence, which +would satisfy her, and stop further inquiry; as I was sensible, that, +should they know I had been married, I should not gain admittance. + +I soon returned to Montreal, and on reaching the city, I visited the +Seminary, and in another interview with the Superior of it, communicated +my wish, and desired him to procure my re-admission as a novice. Little +delay occurred. + +After leaving me for a short time, he returned, and told me that the +Superior of the Convent had consented, and I was soon introduced into +her presence. She blamed me for my conduct in leaving the nunnery, but +told me that I ought to be ever grateful to my guardian angel for taking +care of me, and bringing me in safety back to that retreat. I requested +that I might be secured against the reproaches and ridicule of all the +novices and nuns, which I thought some might be disposed to cast upon me +unless prohibited by the Superior; and this she promised me. The money +usually required for the admission of novices had not been expected from +me. I had been admitted the first time without any such requisition; but +now I chose to pay it for my re-admission. I knew that she was able to +dispense with such a demand as well in this as the former case, and she +knew that I was not in possession of any thing like the sum required. + +But I was bent on paying to the Nunnery, and accustomed to receive the +doctrine often repeated to me before that time, that when the advantage +of the church was consulted, the steps taken were justifiable, let them +be what they would, I therefore resolved to obtain money on false +pretences, confident that if all were known, I should be far from +displeasing the Superior. I went to the brigade major, and asked him to +give me the money payable to my mother from her pension, which amounted +to about thirty dollars, and without questioning my authority to receive +it in her name, he gave it me. + +From several of her friends I obtained small sums under the name of +loans, so that altogether I had soon raised a number of pounds, with +which I hastened to the nunnery, and deposited a part in the hands of +the Superior. She received the money with evident satisfaction, though +she must have known that I could not have obtained it honestly; and I +was at once re-admitted as a novice. + +Much to my gratification, not a word fell from the lips of any of my old +associates in relation to my unceremonious departure, nor my voluntary +return. The Superior's orders, I had not a doubt, had been explicitly +laid down, and they certainly were carefully obeyed, for I never heard +an allusion made to that subject during my subsequent stay in the +Convent, except that, when alone, the Superior would herself sometimes +say a little about it. + +There were numbers of young ladies who entered awhile as novices, and +became weary or disgusted with some things they observed, and remained +but a short time. One of my cousins, who lived at Lachine, named Reed, +spent about a fortnight in the Convent with me. She, however, conceived +such an antipathy against the priests, that she used expressions which +offended the Superior. + +The first day she attended mass, while at dinner with us in full +community, she said before us all: "What a rascal that priest was, to +preach against his best friend!" + +All stared at such an unusual exclamation, and some one inquired what +she meant. + +"I say," she continued, "he has been preaching against him who gives him +his bread. Do you suppose that if there were no devil, there would be +any priests?" + +This bold young novice was immediately dismissed: and in the afternoon +we had a long sermon from the Superior on the subject. + +It happened that I one day got a leaf of an English Bible, which had +been brought into the Convent, wrapped round some sewing silk, purchased +at a store in the city. For some reason or other, I determined to commit +to memory a chapter it contained, which I soon did. It is the only +chapter I ever learnt in the Bible, and I can now repeat it. It is the +second of St. Matthew's gospel, "Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of +Judea," &c. + +It happened that I was observed reading the paper, and when the nature +of it was discovered, I was condemned to do penance for my offence. + +Great dislike to the Bible was shown by those who conversed with me +about it, and several have remarked to me, at different times, that if +it were not for that book, Catholics would never be led to renounce +their own faith. + +I heard passages read from the Evangile, relating to the death of +Christ; the conversion of Paul; a few chapters from St. Matthew, and +perhaps a few others. The priest would also sometimes take a verse or +two, and preach from it. I read St. Peter's Life, but only in the book +called the "Lives of the Saints." He, I understand, has the keys of +heaven and hell, and has founded our church. As for St. Paul, I +remember, as I was taught to understand it, that he was once a great +persecutor of the Roman _Catholics_, until he became convicted, and +confessed to one of the _father confessors_, I don't know which. +For who can expect to be forgiven who does not become a Catholic, and +confess? + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject. + + +The day on which I received confirmation was a distressing one to me. I +believed the doctrine of the Roman Catholics, and according to them I +was guilty of three mortal sins; concealing something at confession, +sacrilege, in putting the body of Christ in the sacrament under my feet, +and receiving it while not in a state of grace; and now, I had been led +into all those sins in consequence of my marriage, which I never had +acknowledged, as it would cut me off from being admitted as a nun. + +On the day, therefore, when I went to the church to be confirmed, with a +number of others, I suffered extremely from the reproaches of my +conscience. I knew, at least I believed, as I had been told, that a +person who had been anointed with the holy oil of confirmation on the +forehead, and dying in the state in which I was, would go down to hell, +and in the place where the oil had been rubbed, the names of my sins +would blaze out on my forehead; these would be a sign by which the +devils would know me; and they would torment me the worse for them. I +was thinking of all this, while I sat in the pew, waiting to receive the +oil. I felt, however, some consolation, as I often did afterward when my +sins came to mind; and this consolation I derived from another doctrine +of the same church: viz. that a bishop could absolve me from all these +sins any minute before my death; and I intended to confess them all to a +bishop before leaving the world. At length, the moment for administering +the "sacrament" arrived, and a bell was rung. Those who had come to be +confirmed had brought tickets from their confessors, and these were +thrown into a hat, carried around by a priest who in turn handed each to +the bishop, by which he learnt the name of each of us, and applied a +little of the oil to our foreheads. This was immediately rubbed off by a +priest with a bit of cloth, quite roughly. + +I went home with some qualms of conscience, and often thought with dread +of the following tale, which I have heard told to illustrate the +sinfulness of conduct like mine. + +A priest was once travelling, when, just as he was passing by a house, +his horse fell on his knees, and would not rise. His rider dismounted, +and went in to learn the cause of so extraordinary an occurrence. He +found there a woman near death, to whom a priest was trying to +administer the sacrament, but without success; for every, time she +attempted to swallow it, it was thrown back out of her mouth into the +chalice. He perceived it was owing to unconfessed sin, and took away the +holy wafer from her: on which his horse rose from his knees, and he +pursued his journey. + +I often remembered also that I had been told, that we shall have as many +devils biting us, if we go to hell, as we have unconfessed sins on our +consciences. + +I was required to devote myself for about a year, to the study of the +prayers and the practice of the ceremonies necessary on the reception of +a nun. This I found a very tedious duty; but as I was released in a +great degree from the daily labors usually demanded of novices, I felt +little disposition to complain. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosure--Resolution to Submit. + + +I was introduced into the Superior's room on the evening preceding the +day on which I was to take the veil, to have an interview with the +Bishop. The Superior was present, and the interview lasted about half an +hour. The Bishop on this as on other occasions appeared to me habitually +rough in his manners. His address was by no means prepossessing. + +Before I took the veil, I was ornamented for the ceremony, and was +clothed in a rich dress belonging to the Convent, which was used on such +occasions; and placed not far from the altar in the chapel, in the view +of a number of spectators who had assembled, perhaps about forty. Taking +the veil is an affair which occurs so frequently in Montreal, that it +has long ceased to be regarded as a novelty; and, although notice had +been given in the French parish church as usual, only a small audience +had assembled, as I have mentioned. + +Being well prepared with a long training, and frequent rehearsals, for +what I was to perform, I stood waiting in my large flowing dress for the +appearance of the Bishop. He soon presented himself, entering by the +door behind the altar; I then threw myself at his feet, and asked him to +confer upon me the veil. He expressed his consent, and threw it over my +head, saying, "Receive the veil, O thou spouse of Jesus Christ;" and +then turning to the Superior, I threw myself prostrate at her feet, +according to my instructions, repeating what I had before done at +rehearsals, and made a movement as if to kiss her feet. This she +prevented, or appeared to prevent, catching me by a sudden motion of her +hand, and granted my request. I then kneeled before the Holy Sacrament, +that is, a very large round wafer held by the Bishop between his fore- +finger and thumb, and made my vows. + +This wafer I had been taught to regard with the utmost veneration, as +the real body of Jesus Christ, the presence of which made the vows +uttered before it binding in the most solemn manner. + +After taking the vows, I proceeded to a small apartment behind the +altar, accompanied by four nuns, where was a coffin prepared with my nun +name engraven upon it: + +"SAINT EUSTACE." + +My companions lifted it by four handles attached to it, while I threw +off my dress, and put on that of a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise; and then we +all returned to the chapel. I proceeded first, and was followed by the +four nuns; the Bishop naming a number of worldly pleasures in rapid +succession, in reply to which I as rapidly repeated--"Je renonce, je +renonce, je renonce"--[I renounce, I renounce, I renounce.] + +The coffin was then placed in front of the altar, and I advanced to lay +myself in it. This coffin was to be deposited, after the ceremony, in an +outhouse, to be preserved until my death, when it was to receive my +corpse. There were reflections which I naturally made at the time, but I +stepped in, extended myself, and lay still. A pillow had been placed at +the head of the coffin, to support my head in a comfortable position. A +large, thick black cloth was then spread over me, and the chanting of +Latin hymns immediately commenced. My thoughts were not the most +pleasing during the time I lay in that situation. The pall, or Drap +Mortel, as the cloth is called, had a strong smell of incense, which was +always disagreeable to me, and then proved almost suffocating. I +recollected also a story I had heard of a novice, who, in taking the +veil, lay down in her coffin like me, and was covered in the same +manner, but on the removal of the covering was found dead. + +When I was uncovered, I rose, stepped out of my coffin, and kneeled. The +Bishop then addressed these words to the Superior, "Take care and keep +pure and spotless this young virgin, whom Christ has consecrated to +himself this day." After which the music commenced, and here the whole +was finished. I then proceeded from the chapel, and returned to the +Superior's room, followed by the other nuns, who walked two by two, in +their customary manner, with their hands folded on their breasts, and +their eyes cast down upon the floor. The nun who was to be my companion +in future, then walked at the end of the procession. On reaching the +Superior's door, they all left me, and I entered alone, and found her +with the Bishop and two priests. + +The Superior now informed me, that having taken the black veil, it only +remained that I should swear the three oaths customary on becoming a +nun; and that some explanations would be necessary from her. I was now, +she told me, to have access to every part of the edifice, even to the +cellar, where two of the sisters were imprisoned for causes which she +did not mention. I must be informed, that one of my great duties was, to +obey the priests in all things; and this I soon learnt, to my utter +astonishment and horror, was to live in the practice of criminal +intercourse with them. I expressed some of the feelings which this +announcement excited in me, which came upon me like a flash of +lightning, but the only effect was to set her arguing with me, in favor +of the crime, representing it as a virtue acceptable to God, and +honorable to me. The priests, she said, were not situated like other +men, being forbidden to marry; while they lived secluded, laborious, and +self-denying lives for our salvation. They might, indeed, be considered +our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain the pardon +of sin, and must go to hell. Now, it was our solemn duty, on withdrawing +from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to practice every +species of self-denial. We could not become too humble, nor mortify our +feelings too far; this was to be done by opposing them, and acting +contrary to them; and what she proposed was, therefore, pleasing in the +sight of God. I now felt how foolish I had been to place myself in the +power of such persons as were around me. + +From what she said I could draw no other conclusion, but that I was +required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my +future associates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and +detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and +horror, she told me that such feelings were very common at first, and +that many other nuns had expressed themselves as I did, who had long +since changed their minds. She even said, that on her entrance into the +nunnery, she had felt like me. + +Doubts, she declared, were among our greatest enemies. They would lead +us to question every point of duty, and induce us to waver at every +step. They arose only from remaining imperfection, and were always +evidence of sin. Our only way was to dismiss them immediately, repent, +and confess them. They were deadly sins, and would condemn us to hell, +if we should die without confessing them. Priests, she insisted, could +not sin. It was a thing impossible. Everything that they did, and +wished, was of course right. She hoped I would see the reasonableness +and duty of the oaths I was to take, and be faithful to them. + +She gave me another piece of information which excited other feelings in +me, scarcely less dreadful. Infants were sometimes born in the convent; +but they were always baptized and immediately strangled! This secured +their everlasting happiness; for the baptism purified them from all +sinfulness, and being sent out of the world before they had time to do +anything wrong, they were at once admitted into heaven. How happy, she +exclaimed, are those who secure immortal happiness to such little +beings! Their little souls would thank those who kill their bodies, if +they had it in their power! + +Into what a place, and among what society, had I been admitted! How +differently did a Convent now appear from what I had supposed it to be! +The holy women I had always fancied the nuns to be, the venerable Lady +Superior, what were they? And the priests of the seminary adjoining, +some of whom indeed I had had reason to think were base and profligate +men, what were they all? I now learnt they were often admitted into the +nunnery, and allowed to indulge in the greatest crimes, which they and +others called virtues. + +After having listened for some time to the Superior alone, a number of +the nuns were admitted, and took a free part in the conversation. They +concurred in everything which she had told me, and repeated, without any +signs of shame or compunction, things which criminated themselves. I +must acknowledge the truth, and declare that all this had an effect upon +my mind. I questioned whether I might not be in the wrong, and felt as +if their reasoning might have some just foundation. I had been several +years under the tuition of Catholics, and was ignorant of the +Scriptures, and unaccustomed to the society, example, and conversation +of Protestants; had not heard any appeal to the Bible as authority, but +had been taught, both by precept and example, to receive as truth +everything said by the priests. I had not heard their authority +questioned, nor anything said of any other standard of faith but their +declarations. I had long been familiar with the corrupt and licentious +expressions which some of them use at confessions, and believed that +other women were also. I had no standard of duty to refer to, and no +judgment of my own which I knew how to use, or thought of using. + +All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and +sinfulness; that they knew by experience they would soon give place to +true knowledge, and an advance in religion; and I felt something like +indecision. + +Still, there was so much that disgusted me in the discovery I had now +made, of the debased characters around me, that I would most gladly have +escaped from the nunnery, and never returned. But that was a thing not +to be thought of. I was in their power, and this I deeply felt, while I +thought there was not one among the whole number of nuns to whom I could +look for kindness. There was one, however, who began to speak to me at +length in a tone that gained something of my confidence,--the nun whom I +have mentioned before as distinguished by her oddity, Jane Ray, who made +us so much amusement when I was a novice. Although, as I have remarked, +there was nothing in her face, form, or manners, to give me any +pleasure, she addressed me with apparent friendliness; and while she +seemed to concur in some things spoken by them, took an opportunity to +whisper a few words in my ear, unheard by them, intimating that I had +better comply with everything the Superior desired, if I would save my +life. I was somewhat alarmed before, but I now became much more so, and +determined to make no further resistance. The Superior then made me +repeat the three oaths; and when I had sworn them, I was shown into one +of the community rooms, and remained some time with the nuns, who were +released from their usual employments, and enjoying a recreation day, on +account of the admission of a new sister. My feelings during the +remainder of that day, I shall not attempt to describe; but pass on to +mention the ceremonies which took place at dinner. This description may +give an idea of the manner in which we always took our meals, although +there were some points in which the breakfast and supper were different. + +At 11 o'clock the bell rung for dinner, and the nuns all took their +places in a double row, in the same order as that in which they left the +chapel in the morning, except that my companion and myself were +stationed at the end of the line. Standing thus for a moment, with our +hands placed one on the other over the breast, and hidden in our large +cuffs, with our heads bent forward, and eyes fixed on the floor; an old +nun who stood at the door, clapped her hands as a signal for us to +proceed, and the procession moved on, while we all commenced the +repetition of litanies. We walked on in this order, repeating all the +way, until we reached the door of the dining-room, where we were divided +into two lines; those on the right passing down one side of the long +table, and those on the left the other, till all were in, and each +stopped in her place. The plates were all ranged, each with a knife, +fork, and spoon, rolled up in a napkin, and tied round with a linen band +marked with the owner's name. My own plate, knife, fork, &c., were +prepared like the rest, and on the band around them I found my new name +written:--"SAINT EUSTACE." + +There we stood till all had concluded the litany; when the old nun who +had taken her place at the head of the table next the door, said the +prayer before meat, beginning "Benedicite," and we sat down. I do not +remember of what our dinner consisted, but we usually had soup and some +plain dish of meat, the remains of which were occasionally served up at +supper as a fricassee. One of the nuns who had been appointed to read +that day, rose and began to lecture from a book put into her hands by +the Superior, while the rest of us ate in perfect silence. The nun who +reads during dinner stays afterward to dine. As fast as we finished our +meals, each rolled up her knife, fork, and spoon in her napkin, and +bound them together with the band, and set with hands folded. The old +nun then said a short prayer, rose, stepped a little aside, clapped her +hands, and we marched towards the door, bowing as we passed before a +little chapel or glass box, containing a wax image of the infant Jesus. + +Nothing important occurred until late in the afternoon, when, as I was +sitting in the community-room, Father Dufresne called me out, saying he +wished to speak with me. I feared what was his intention; but I dared +not disobey. In a private apartment, he treated me in a brutal manner; +and from two other priests I afterward received similar usage that +evening. Father Dufresne afterward appeared again; and I was compelled +to remain in company with him until morning. + +I am assured that the conduct of the priests in our Convent has never +been exposed, and is not imagined by the people of the United States. +This induces me to say what I do, notwithstanding the strong reasons I +have to let it remain unknown. Still, I cannot force myself to speak on +such subjects except in the most brief manner. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns. + + +On Thursday morning, the bell rung at half-past six to awaken us. The +old nun who was acting as night-watch immediately spoke aloud: + +"Voici le Seigneur qui vient." (Behold the Lord cometh.) The nuns all +responded: + +"Allons-y devant lui." (Let us go and meet him.) + +We then rose immediately, and dressed as expeditiously as possible, +stepping into the passage-way at the foot of our beds as soon as we were +ready, and taking places each beside her opposite companion. Thus we +were soon drawn up in a double row the whole length of the room, with +our hands folded across our breasts, and concealed in the broad cuffs of +our sleeves. Not a word was uttered. When the signal was given, we all +proceeded to the community-room, which is spacious, and took our places +in rows facing the entranced, near which the Superior was seated in a +vergiere, or large chair. + +We first repeated, "Au nom du Pere, du Fils, et du Saint Esprit--Ainsi +soit il." (In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost-- +Amen.) + +We then kneeled and kissed the floor; then, still on our knees, we said +a very long prayer, beginning: Divin Jesus, Sauveur de mon ame, (Divine +Jesus, Saviour of my soul). Then came the Lord's prayer, three Hail +Marys, four creeds, and five confessions (confesse a Dieu). + +Next we repeated the ten commandments. Then we repeated the Acts of +Faith, and a prayer to the Virgin in Latin, (which, like every thing +else in Latin, I never understood a word of.) Next we said the litanies +of the holy name of Jesus, in Latin, which was afterward to be repeated +several times in the course of the day. Then came the prayer for the +beginning of the day; then bending down, we commenced the Orison Mental +(or Mental Orison), which lasted about an hour and a half. + +This exercise was considered peculiarly solemn. We were told in the +nunnery that a certain saint was saved by the use of it, as he never +omitted it. It consists of several parts: First, the Superior read to us +a chapter from a book, which occupied five minutes. Then profound +silence prevailed for fifteen minutes, during which we were meditating +upon it. Then she read another chapter of equal length, on a different +subject and we meditated upon that another quarter of an hour; and after +a third reading and meditation, we finished the exercise with a prayer, +called an act of contrition, in which we asked forgiveness for the sins +committed during the Orison. + +During this hour and a half I became very weary, having before been +kneeling for some time, and having then to sit in another position more +uncomfortable, with my feet under me, my hands clasped, and my body bent +humbly forward, with my head bowed down. + +When the Orison was over, we all rose to the upright kneeling posture, +and repeated several prayers, and the litanies of the providences, +"providence de Dieu," &c.; then followed a number of Latin prayers, +which we repeated on the way to mass, for in the nunnery we had mass +daily. + +When mass was over we proceeded in our usual order to the eating-room to +breakfast, practising the same forms which I have described at dinner. +Having made our meal in silence, we repeated the litanies of the "holy +name of Jesus" as we proceeded to the community-room; and such as had +not finished them on their arrival, threw themselves upon their knees, +and remained there until they had gone through with them, and then +kissing the floor, rose again. + +At nine o'clock commenced the lecture, which was read by a nun appointed +to perform that duty that day; all the rest of us in the room being +engaged in work. + +The nuns were at this time distributed in different community-rooms, at +different kinds of work, and in each were listening to a lecture. This +exercise continued until ten o'clock, when the recreation-bell rang. We +still continued our work, but the nuns began to converse with each +other, on subjects permitted by the rules in the hearing of the old +nuns, one of whom was seated in each of the groups. + +At half-past ten the silence bell rang, and then conversation instantly +ceased, and the recitation of some Latin prayers commenced, which +continued half an hour. + +At eleven o'clock the dinner-bell rang, and then we proceeded to the +dining-room, and went through the forms and ceremonies of the preceding +day. We proceeded two by two. The old nun who had the command of us, +clapped her hands as the first couple reached the door, when we stopped. +The first two dipped their fingers into the font, touched the holy water +to the breast, forehead, and each side, thus forming a cross, said, "In +the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen," and then walked on +to the dining-room, repeating the litanies. The rest followed their +example. On reaching the door the couples divided, and the two rows of +nuns marching up, stopped and faced the table against their plates. +There we stood, repeating the close of the litany aloud. The old nun +then pronounced + +"BENEDICITE," + +and we sat down. One of our number began to read a lecture, which +continued during the whole meal: she stays to eat after the rest have +retired. When we had dined, each of us folded up her napkin, and again +folded her hands. The old nun then repeated a short prayer in French, +and stepping aside from the head of the table, let us pass out as we +came in. Each of us bowed in passing the little chapel near the door, +which is a glass case, containing a waxen figure of the infant Jesus. +When we reached the community-room we took our places in rows, and +kneeled upon the floor, while a nun read aloud, "Douleurs de notre +Sainte Marie" (the sorrows of our holy Mary.) At the end of each verse +we responded "Ave Maria." We then repeated again the litanies of the +Providences, and the + +"BENIS," &c. + +Then we kissed the floor, and rising, took our work, with leave to +converse on permitted subjects; that is what is called _recreation_ +till one o'clock. We then began to repeat litanies, one at a time in +succession, still engaged at sewing, for an hour. + +At two o'clock commenced the afternoon lectures, which lasted till near +three. At that hour one of the nuns stood up in the middle of the room, +and asked each of us a question out of the catechism; and such as were +unable to answer correctly, were obliged to kneel down, until that +exercise was concluded, upon as many dry peas as there were verses in +the chapter out of which they were questioned. This seems like a penance +of no great importance; but I have sometimes kneeled on peas until I +suffered great inconvenience, and even pain. It soon makes one feel as +if needles were running through the skin: whoever thinks it a trifle, +had better try it. + +At four o'clock recreation commenced, when we were allowed, as usual, to +speak to each other, while at work. + +At half-past four we began to repeat prayers in Latin, while we worked, +and concluded about five o'clock, when we commenced repeating the +"prayers for the examination of conscience," the "prayer after +confession," the "prayer before sacrament," and the "prayer after +sacrament." Thus we continued our work until dark, when we laid it +aside, and began to go over the same prayers which we had repeated in +the morning, with the exception of the orison mental; instead of that +long exercise, we examined our consciences, to determine whether we had +performed the resolution we had made in the morning; and such as had +kept it, repeated an "acte de joie," or expression of gratitude; while +such as had not, said an "acte de contrition." + +When the prayers were concluded, any nun who had been disobedient in the +day, knelt and asked pardon of the Superior and her companions "for the +scandal she had caused them;" and then requested the Superior to give +her a penance to perform. When all the penances, had been imposed, we +all proceeded to the eating-room to supper, repeating litanies on the +way. + +At supper the ceremonies were the same as at dinner, except that there +was no lecture read. We ate in silence, and went out bowing to the +chapelle, and repeating litanies. Returning to the community-room which +we had left, we had more prayers to repeat, which are called La +couronne, (crown,) which consists of the following parts: + + 1st, Four Paters, + 2d, Four Ave Marias, + 3d, Four Gloria Patris, + 4th, Benis, &c. + +At the close of these we kissed the floor; after which we had recreation +till half-past eight o'clock, being allowed to converse on permitted +subjects, but closely watched, and not allowed to sit in corners. + +At half-past eight a bell was rung, and a chapter was read to us, in a +book of meditations, to employ our minds upon during our waking hours at +night. + +Standing near the door, we dipped our fingers in the holy water, crossed +and blessed ourselves, and proceeded up to the sleeping-room, in the +usual order, two by two. When we had got into bed, we repeated a prayer +beginning with + + "Mon Dieu, je vous donne mon coeur," + "God, I give you my heart;" + +and then an old nun, bringing some holy water, sprinkled it on our beds +to drive away the devil, while we took some and crossed ourselves again. + +At nine o'clock the bell rung, and all who were awake repeated a prayer, +called the offrande; those who were asleep were considered as excused. + +After my admission among the nuns, I had more opportunity than before, +to observe the conduct of mad Jane Ray. She behaved quite differently +from the rest, and with a degree of levity irreconcilable with the +rules. She was, as I have described her, a large woman, with nothing +beautiful or attractive in her face, form, or manners; careless in her +dress, and of a restless disposition, which prevented her from steadily +applying herself to any thing for any length of time, and kept her +roving about, and almost perpetually talking to somebody or other. It +would be very difficult to give an accurate description of this singular +woman; dressed in the plain garments of the nuns, bound by the same +vows, and accustomed to the same life, resembling them in nothing else, +and frequently interrupting all their employments. She was apparently +almost always studying or pursuing some odd fancy; now rising from +sewing, to walk up and down, or straying in from another apartment, +looking about, addressing some of us, and passing out again, or saying +something to make us laugh, in periods of the most profound silence. But +what showed that she was no novelty, was the little attention paid to +her, and the levity with which she was treated by the old nuns; even the +Superior every day passed over irregularities in this singular person, +which she would have punished with penances, or at least have met with +reprimands, in any other. From what I saw of her, I soon perceived that +she betrayed two distinct traits of character; a kind disposition +towards such as she chose to prefer, and a pleasure in teasing those she +disliked, or such as had offended her. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st Floor--2d +Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of Novices +--Religious Lies--Criminality of Concealing Sins at Confession. + + +I will now give from memory, a general description of the interior of the +Convent of Black nuns, except the few apartments which I never saw. I +may be inaccurate in some things, as the apartments and passages of that +spacious building are numerous and various; but I am willing to risk my +credit for truth and sincerity on the general correspondence between my +description and things as they are. And this would, perhaps be as good a +case as any by which to test the truth of my statements, were it +possible to obtain access to the interior. It is well known, that none +but veiled nuns, the bishop, and priests, are ever admitted; and, of +course, that I cannot have seen what I profess to describe, if I have +not been a Black nun. [Footnote: I ought to have made an exception here, +which I may enlarge upon in future Certain other persons are sometimes +admitted.] The priests who read this book, will acknowledge to +themselves the truth of my description; but will, of course deny it to +the world, and probably exert themselves to destroy or discredit, I +offer to every reader the following description, knowing that time may +possibly throw open those secret recesses, and allow the entrance of +those who can satisfy themselves, with their own eyes, of its truth. +Some of my declarations may be thought deficient in evidence; and this +they must of necessity be in the present state of things. But here is a +kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how unquestionable and +satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be obtained. + +If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever it shall be examined, is +materially different from the following description, then I can claim no +confidence of my readers. If it resembles it, they will, I presume, +place confidence in some of those declarations, on which I may never be +corroborated by true and living witnesses. + +I am sensible that great changes may be made in the furniture of +apartments; that new walls may be constructed, or old ones removed; and +I have been credibly informed, that masons have been employed in the +nunnery since I left it. I well know, however, that entire changes +cannot be made; and that enough must remain as it was to substantiate my +description, whenever the truth shall be known. + +_The First Story_. + +Beginning at the extremity of the right wing of the Convent, towards +Notre Dame-street, on the first story, there is-- + +1st. The nuns' private chapel, adjoining which is a passage to a small +projection of the building, extending from the upper story to the +ground, with very small windows. Into the passage we were sometimes +required to bring wood from the yard and pile it up for use. + +2d. A large community-room, with plain benches fixed against the wall to +sit, and lower ones in front to place our feet upon. There is a fountain +in the passage near the chimney at the farther end, for washing the +hands and face, with a green curtain sliding on a rod before it. This +passage leads to the old nuns' sleeping-room on the right, and the +Superior's sleeping-room, just beyond it, as well as to a staircase +which conducts to the nuns' sleeping-room, or dortoir, above. At the end +of the passage is a door opening into-- + +3d. The dining-room; this is larger than the community-room, and has +three long tables for eating, and a chapelle, or collection of little +pictures, a crucifix, and a small image of the infant Saviour in a glass +case. This apartment has four doors, by the first of which we are +supposed to have entered, while one opens to a pantry, and the third and +fourth to the two next apartments. + +4th. A large community-room, with tables for sewing, and a staircase on +the opposite left-hand corner. + +5th. A community-room for prayer, used by both nuns and novices. In the +farther right-hand corner is a small room partitioned off, called the +room for the examination of conscience, which I had visited while a +novice by permission of the Superior, and where nuns and novices +occasionally resorted to reflect on their character, usually in +preparation for the sacrament, or when they had transgressed some of the +rules. This little room was hardly large enough to contain half a dozen +persons at a time. + +6th. Next beyond is a large community-room for Sundays. A door leads to +the yard, and thence to a gate in the wall on the cross street. + +7th. Adjoining this is a sitting-room, fronting on the cross street, +with two windows, and a store-room on the side opposite them. There is +but little furniture, and that very plain. + +8th. From this room a door leads into what I may call the wax-room, as +it contains many figures in wax, not intended for sale. There we +sometimes used to pray, or meditate on the Saviour's passion. This room +projects from the main building; leaving it, you enter a long passage, +with cupboards on the right, in which are stored crockery-ware, knives +and forks, and other articles of table furniture, to replace those worn +out or broken--all of the plainest description; also, shovels, tongs, +&c. This passage leads to-- + +9th. A corner room, with a few benches, &c., and a door leading to a +gate on the street. Here some of the medicines were kept, and persons +were often admitted on business, or to obtain medicines with tickets +from the priests; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be +sent for. Beyond this room we were never allowed to go; and I cannot +speak from personal knowledge of what came next. + +_The Second Story_. + +Beginning, as before, at the western extremity of the same wing, but on +the second story, the farthest apartment in that direction which I ever +entered was-- + +1st. The nuns' sleeping-room, or dormitory, which I have already +described. Here is an access to the projection mentioned in speaking of +the first story. The stairs by which we came up to bed are at the +farther end of the room; and near them a crucifix and font of holy +water. A door at the end of the room opens into a passage, with two +small rooms, and closets between them, containing bedclothes. Next you +enter-- + +2d. A small community-room, beyond which is a passage with a narrow +staircase, seldom used, which leads into the fourth community-room, in +the first story. Following the passage just mentioned, you enter by a +door-- + +3d. A little sitting-room, furnished in the following manner: with +chairs, a sofa, on the north side, covered with a red-figured cover and +fringe, a table in the middle, commonly bearing one or two books, an +inkstand, pens, &c. At one corner is a little projection into the room, +caused by a staircase leading from above to the floor below, without any +communication with the second story. This room has a door opening upon a +staircase leading down to the yard, on the opposite side of which is a +gate opening into the cross street. By this way the physician is +admitted, except when he comes later than usual. When he comes in, he +usually sits a little while, until a nun goes into the adjoining nuns' +sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to admit him. After +prescribing for the patients he goes no farther, but returns by the way +he enters; and these two are the only rooms into which he is ever +admitted, except the public hospital. + +4th. The nuns' sick-room adjoins the little sitting-room on the east, +and has, I think, four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in +two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the opposite +extremity. The door from the sitting-room swings to the left, and behind +it is a table, while a glass case, to the right, contains a wax figure +of the infant Saviour, with several sheep. Near the northeastern corner +of this room are two doors, one of which opens into a long and narrow +passage leading to the head of the great staircase that conducts to the +cross street. By this passage the physician sometimes finds his way to +the sick-room, when he comes later than usual. He rings the bell at the +gate, which I was told had a concealed pull, known only to him and the +priests, proceeds up-stairs and through the passage, rapping three times +at the door of the sick-room, which is opened by a nun in attendance, +after she has given one rap in reply. When he has visited his patients, +and prescribed for them, he returns by the same way. + +5th. Next beyond this sick-room, is a large unoccupied apartment, half +divided by two partial partitions, which leave an open space in the +middle. Here some of the old nuns commonly sit in the day-time. + +6th. A door from this apartment opens into another not appropriated to +any particular use, but containing a table, where medicines are +sometimes prepared by an old nun, who is usually found there. Passing +through this room, you enter a passage with doors on its four sides: +that on the left, which is kept fastened on the inside, leads to the +staircase and gate; that in front, to private sick-rooms soon to be +described. + +7th. That on the right leads to another, appropriated to nuns suffering +with the most loathsome disease. There were usually a number of straw +mattresses, in that room, as I well knew, having helped to carry them in +after the yard-man had filled them. A door beyond enters into a store- +room, which extends also beyond this apartment. On the right, another +door opens into another passage; crossing which, you enter by a door-- + +8th. A room with a bed and screen in one corner, on which nuns were laid +to be examined before their introduction into the sick-room last +mentioned. Another door, opposite the former, opens into a passage, in +which is a staircase leading down. + +9th. Beyond this is a spare-room, sometimes used to store apples, boxes +of different things, &c. + +10th. Returning now to the passage which opens on one side upon the +stairs to the gate, we enter the only remaining door, which leads into +an apartment usually occupied by some of the old nuns, and frequently by +the Superior. + +11th, and 12th. Beyond this are two more sick-rooms, in one of which +those nuns stay who are waiting their accouchment, and in the other, +those who have passed it. + +13th. The next is a small sitting-room, where a priest waits to baptize +the infants previous to their murder. A passage leads from this room, on +the left, by the doors of two succeeding apartments, neither of which +have I ever entered. + +14th. The first of them is the "holy retreat," or room occupied by the +priests, while suffering the penalty of their licentiousness. + +15th. The other is a sitting-room, to which they have access. Beyond +these the passage leads to two rooms, containing closets for the storage +of various articles, and two others where persons are received who come +on business. + +The public hospitals succeed, and extend a considerable distance, I +believe, to the extremity of the building. By a public entrance in that +part, priests often come into the nunnery; and I have often seen some of +them thereabouts, who must have entered by that way. Indeed, priests +often get into the "holy retreat" without exposing themselves to the +view of persons in other parts of the Convent, and have been first known +to be there, by the yard-man being sent to the Seminary for their +clothes. + +The Congregational Nunnery was founded by a nun called Sister +Bourgeoise. She taught a school in Montreal, and left property for the +foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept, +under the nunnery, in an iron chest, which has been shown to me, with +the assurance that it continues in perfect preservation, although she +has been dead more than one hundred and fifty years. In the chapel is +the following inscription: "Soeur Bourgeoise, Fondatrice du Couvent"-- +Sister Bourgeoise, Founder of the Convent. + +Nothing was more common than for the Superior to step hastily into our +community-rooms, while numbers of us were assembled there, and hastily +communicate her wishes in words like these:-- + +"Here are the parents of such a novice: come with me, and bear me out in +this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of +falsehoods, she had just invented, that we might be prepared to +fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else might favor the +deception. This was justified, and indeed most highly commended, by the +system of faith in which we were instructed. + +It was a common remark made at the initiation of a new nun into the +Black nun department, that is, to receive the black veil, that the +introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, caused +the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on +account of the singular disappearance of some of the older nuns at the +entrance of new ones! + +To witness the scenes which often occurred between us and strangers, +would have struck a person very powerfully, if he had known how truth +was set at naught. The Superior, with a serious and dignified air, and a +pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most +favorable to the character of the absent novice, and representing her as +equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The +tale told by the Superior, whatever it was, however unheard before, +might have been any of her statements, was then attested by us, who, in +every way we could think of, endeavored to confirm her declarations, +beyond the reach of doubt. + +Sometimes the Superior would intrust the management of such a case to +some of the nuns, whether to habituate us to the practice in which she +was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have +been a serious burden to most other persons, or to ascertain whether she +could depend upon us, or all together, I cannot tell. Often, however, +have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried manner, "Who +can tell the best story?" + +One point, on which we received frequent and particular, instructions +was, the nature of falsehoods. On this subject I have heard many a +speech, I had almost said many a sermon; and I was led to believe that +it was one of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well +informed, as well as to act. "What!" exclaimed a priest one day--"what, +a nun of your age, and not know the difference between a wicked and a +religious lie!" + +He then went on, as had been done many times previously in my hearing, +to show the essential difference between the two different kinds of +falsehoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own +interest alone, or for no object at all, he painted as a sin worthy of +penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or Convent, was +meritorious, and of course the telling of it a duty. And of this class +of lies there were many varieties and shades. This doctrine has been +inculcated on me and my companions in the nunnery, more times than I can +enumerate: and to say that it was generally received, would be to tell a +part of the truth. We often saw the practice of it, and were frequently +made to take part in it. Whenever anything which the Superior thought +important, could be most conveniently accomplished by falsehood, she +resorted to it without scruple. + +There was a class of cases in which she more frequently relied on +deception than any other. + +The friends of the novices frequently applied at the Convent to see +them, or at least to inquire after their welfare. It was common for them +to be politely refused an interview, on some account or other, generally +a mere pretext; and then the Superior usually sought to make as +favorable an impression as possible on the visitors. Sometimes she would +make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers; requiring some of +us to confirm it, in the most convincing way we could. + +At other times she would prefer to make over to us the task of +deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and +success. + +Some nun usually showed her submission, by immediately stepping forward. +She would then add, perhaps, that the parents of such a novice, whom she +named, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they should be told +such, and such, and such things. To perform so difficult a task well, was +considered a difficult duty, and it was one of the most certain ways to +gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever volunteered to make a story on +the spot, was sent immediately to tell it, and the other nuns present +were hurried off with her under strict injunctions to uphold her in +every thing she might state. The Superior, as there was every reason to +believe, on all such occasions, when she did not herself appear, +hastened to the apartment adjoining that in which the nuns were going, +there to listen through the thin partition, to hear whether all +performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon for her to go rather +further, when she wanted time to give such explanations as she could +have desired. She would then enter abruptly, ask, "Who can tell a good +story this morning?" and hurry us off without a moment's delay, to do +our best at a venture, without waiting for instructions. It would be +curious, could a stranger from "the wicked world" outside the Convent +witness such a scene. One of the nuns, who felt in a favourable humour +to undertake the proposed task, would step promptly forward, and signify +her readiness in the usual way: by a knowing wink of one eye, and slight +toss of the head. + +"Well go and do the best you can," the superior would say; "and all the +rest of you must mind and swear to it." The latter part of the order, at +least, was always performed; for in every such case, all the nuns +present appeared as unanimous witnesses of everything that was uttered +by the spokesman of the day. + +We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look +upon ourselves as our own; but must remember, that we were solemnly and +irrevocably devoted to God. Whatever was required of us, we were called +upon to yield under the most solemn considerations. I cannot speak on +every particular with equal freedom: but I wish my readers clearly +to understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used +to reduce us to what we had to submit to. Not only were we required to +perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers, and +penances, under the idea that we were performing solemn duties to our +Maker, but every thing else which was required of us, we were constantly +told, was something indispensable in his sight. The priests, we admitted +were the servants of God, specially appointed by his authority, to teach +us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and to lead us to heaven. Without +their assistance, we had allowed we could never enjoy the favour of God; +unless they administered the sacraments to us, we could not enjoy +everlasting happiness. Having consented to acknowledge all this, we had +no other objection to urge against admitting any other demand that might +be made for or by them. If we thought an act ever so criminal, the +Superior would tell us that the priests acted under the direct sanction +of God, and _could not sin_. Of course, then, it could not be wrong +to comply with any of their requests, because they could not demand any +thing but what was right. On the contrary, to refuse to do any thing +they asked, would necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines admitted, and +such practices performed, it will not seem wonderful when I mention that +we often felt something of their preposterous character. + +Sometimes we took a pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes +of our teachers; and I recollect one subject particularly, which at one +period afforded us repeated merriment. It may seem irreverent in me to +give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature were +sometimes treated in the Convent, by women bearing the title of saints. +A Canadian Novice, who spoke very broken English, one day remarked that +she was performing some duty "for the God." This peculiar expression had +something ridiculous to the ears of some of us; and it was soon repeated +again and again, in application to various ceremonies which we had to +perform. Mad Jane Ray seized upon it with avidity, and with her aid it +soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so that we were +constantly reminding each other, that we were doing this and that thing, +how trifling and unmeaning soever, "for the God." Nor did we stop here: +when the superior called upon us to bear witness to one of her religious +lies, or to fabricate the most spurious one the time would admit; to +save her the trouble, we were sure to be reminded, on our way to the +strangers' room, that we were doing it "for the God." And so it was when +other things were mentioned--every thing which belonged to our +condition, was spoken of in similar terms. + +I have hardly detained the reader long enough on the subject, to give +him a just impression of the stress laid on confession. It is one of the +great points to which our attention was constantly directed. We were +directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts; to have +continually before our minds the rules of the Convent, to compare the +one with the other, remember every devotion, and tell all, even the +smallest, at confession, either to the Superior or to the priest. My +mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity, which proved very +wearisome; and it required the constant exertion of our teachers, to +keep us up to the practice they inculcated. + +Another tale recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us to +make us feel the importance of unreserved confession. A nun of our +Convent, who had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and +without any one to confess her. Her sisters assembled to pray for the +peace of her soul, when she appeared, and informed them, that it would +be of no use, but rather troublesome to her, as her pardon was +impossible. [Footnote: Since the first edition, I have found this tale +related in a Romish book, as one of very ancient date. It was told to us +as having taken place in our Convent.] The doctrine is, that prayers +made for souls guilty of unconfessed sin, do but sink them deeper in +hell; and this is the reason I have heard given for not praying for +Protestants. + +The authority of the priests in everything, and the enormity of every +act which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds, in various +ways, by our teachers. A "Father" told us the following story one day at +catechism. + +A man once died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had +asked of him; he was condemned to be burnt in purgatory until he should +pay it but had permission to come back to this world, and take a human +body to work in. He made his appearance therefore again on earth, and +hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day with the +fire burning in him, unseen by other people; but while he was in bed +that night, a girl in an adjoining room, perceiving the smell of +brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with +flames. She informed his master, who questioned him the next morning, +and found that his hired man was secretly suffering the pains of +purgatory, for neglecting to pay a certain sum of money to the priest. +He, therefore furnished him the amount due; it was paid, and the servant +went off immediately to heaven. The priest cannot forgive any debt due +unto him, because it is the Lord's estate. + +While at confession, I was urged to hide nothing from the priest, and +have been told by them, that they already knew what was in my heart, but +would not tell, because it was necessary for me to confess it. I really +believed that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts; and often +stood in great awe of them. They often told me they had power to strike +me dead at any moment. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the Cellar-- +Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's Instructions-- +Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the Nunnery--Opinions +expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of the Scriptures. + + +I found that I had several namesakes among the nuns, for there were two +others who already bore my new name, Saint Eustace. This was not a +solitary case, for there were five Saint Marys, and three Saint Monros, +besides two novices of that name. Of my namesakes I have little to say, +for they resembled most of the nuns; being so much cut off from +intercourse with me and the other sisters, that I never saw anything in +them, nor learnt any thing about them, worth mentioning. + +Several of my new companions were squaws, who had taken the veil at +different times. They were from some of the Indian settlements in the +country, but were not distinguishable by any striking habits of +character from other nuns, and were generally not very different in +their appearance when in their usual dress, and engaged in their +customary occupations. It was evident, that they were treated with much +kindness and lenity by the Superior and the old nuns; and this I +discovered was done in order to render them as well contented and happy +in their situation as possible. I should have attributed the motives for +this partiality to their wishing that they might not influence others to +keep away, had I not known they were, like ourselves, unable to exert +such an influence. And therefore, I could not satisfy my own mind why +this difference was made. Many of the Indians were remarkably devoted to +the priests, believing every thing they were taught; and as it is +represented to be not only a high honor, but a real advantage to a +family, to have one of its members become a nun, Indian parents will +often pay large sums of money for the admission of their daughters into +a convent. The father of one of the squaws, I was told, paid to the +Superior nearly her weight in silver on her reception, although he was +obliged to sell nearly all his property to raise the money. This he did +voluntarily, because he thought himself overpaid by having the advantage +of her prayers, self-sacrifices, &c. for himself and the remainder of +his family. The squaws sometimes served to amuse us; for when we were +partially dispirited or gloomy, the Superior would occasionally send +them to dress themselves in their Indian garments, which usually excited +us to merriment. + +Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly remember, was one of the Sainte +Hypolites, not the one who figured in a dreadful scene, described in +another part of this narrative, but a woman of a far more mild and +humane character. + +Three or four days after my reception, the Superior sent me into the +cellar for coal; and after she had given me directions, I proceeded down +a staircase, with a lamp in my hand. I soon found myself upon the bare +earth, in a spacious place, so dark, that I could not at once +distinguish its form, or size, but I observed that it had very solid +stone walls, and was arched overhead, at no great elevation. Following +my directions, I proceeded onward from the foot of the stairs, where +appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen paces, +I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large iron bolts +on the outside, pushed into posts of stone-work, and each having a small +opening above, covered with a fine grating, secured by a smaller bolt. +On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these, and placed +opposite them. + +Beyond these, the space became broader; the doors evidently closed small +compartments, projecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I soon +stepped upon a wooden floor, on which were heaps of wool, coarse linen, +and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional use. I +soon crossed the floor, and found the bare earth again under my feet. + +A little farther on, I found the cellar again contracted in size, by a +row of closets, or smaller compartments projecting on each side. These +were closed by doors of a different description from the first, having a +simple fastening, and no opening through them. Just beyond, on the left +side, I passed a staircase leading up, and then three doors, much +resembling those first described, standing opposite three more, on the +other side of the cellar. Having passed these, I found the cellar +enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some +whitish substance, which attracted my attention. + +As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface looked +almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a hole dug +so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I stopped to +observe it.--It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet across; in +the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of curb, so that +one might easily have walked into it, in the dark. + +The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the +surface around it; and lay in such quantities on all sides, that it +seemed as if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It +immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that +this must be the place where the infants were buried, after being +murdered, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that lime is often +used by Roman Catholics in burying-places; and in this way I accounted +for its being scattered about the spot in such quantities. + +This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it affected +me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things in the +Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from feeling as I +should formerly have done in similar circumstances. + +I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true, +about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place, +but with recollections also of the declarations which I had heard, about +the favor done their souls by sending them straight to heaven, and the +necessary virtue accompanying all the actions of the priests. + +Whether I noticed them or not, at the time, there is a window or two on +each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown articles +brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent. Through the +windows on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the cross +street, lime is received from carts; and I then saw a large heap of it +near the place. + +Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on each +side, with three cells like those I first described.--Beyond them, in +another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetables, and other +things, on the right; and on the left I found the charcoal I was in +search of. This was placed in a heap against the wall, as I might then +have observed, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is +thrown in. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated. + +The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at different +heights, for the earth on the bottom is uneven, and in some places +several feet higher than in others. + +Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent, +especially after the discovery I had made, I hastened to fill my basket +with coal, and to return. + +Here then I was, in a place which I had considered as the nearest +imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds +were constantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most criminal, +and I had now found the place in which harmless infants were unfeelingly +thrown out of sight, after being murdered. + +And yet, such is the power of instruction and example, although not +satisfied, as many around me seemed to be, that all was righteous and +proper, I sometimes was half inclined to believe it, for the priests +could do no sin, and this was done by priests. + +Among the first instructions I received from the Superior, were such as +prepared me to admit priests into the nunnery from the street at +irregular hours. It is no secret, that priests enter and go out; but if +they were to be watched by any person in St. Paul's street all day long, +no irregularity might he suspected; and they might be supposed to visit +the Convent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely. + +But if a person was near the gate at midnight, he might sometimes form a +different opinion; for when a stray priest is shut out of the Seminary, +or is otherwise put to the need of seeking a lodging, he is always sure +of being admitted to the black nunnery. Nobody but a priest or the +physician can ring the bell at the sick-room door; much less can any +others gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed, +somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have been told. + +He makes himself known as a priest by a peculiar kind of hissing sound, +made by the tongue against the teeth, while they are kept closed, and +the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until +informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognizes the +signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often used +instead of yes, with the mouth closed. + +The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite +important, and taught me the signals. I had often occasion to use them; +I have been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching +in a sick room, and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I have +mentioned; then, according to my standing orders, unfastened the door, +admitted the priest, who was at liberty to go where he pleased. I will +name Mr. Bierze, from St. Denis. + +The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them, +were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are used +by the daily readers, while we were at work, and meals. These were all +furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never had +access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then +exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select. + +Le Miroir du Chretien (Christian Mirror), History of Rome, History of +the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent), in +two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur (the Guardian Angel), L'Ange Chretien +(the Christian Angel), Les Vies des Saints (Lives of Saints), in several +volumes, Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations between a +Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on the +articles of faith, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the former +was confuted. One large book, the name of which I have forgotten, +occupied us nine or ten months at our lectures, night and morning. +L'Instruction de la Jeunesse (the Instruction of Youth), containing much +about Convents, and the education of persons in the world, with a great +deal on confessions, &c. Examen de la Conscience, (Examination of +Conscience), is a book frequently used. + +I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day +I entered as a novice, until that on which I effected my escape. The +Catholic New Testament, commonly called the Evangile, was read to us +about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the reader what +passage to select; but we never had it in our hands to read when we +pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of in bitter terms, +as a most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands +of common people. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the Convent-- +Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her House--The +Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane Ray-- +Vacillation of feelings. + + +Large quantities of bread are made in the Black Nunnery every week, for +besides what is necessary to feed the nuns, many of the poor are +supplied. When a priest wishes to give a loaf of bread to a poor person, +he gives him an order, which is presented at the Convent. The making of +bread is therefore one of the most laborious employments in the +Institution. + +The manufacture of wax candles was another important branch of business +in the nunnery. It was carried on in a small room, on the first floor, +thence called the Ciergerie, or wax-room; _cierge_ being the French +word for a _wax candle_. I was sometimes sent to read the daily +lecture and catechism to the nuns employed there, but found it a very +unpleasant task, as the smell rising from the melted wax gave me a +sickness at the stomach. The employment was considered rather unhealthy, +and those were assigned to it who had the strongest constitutions. The +nuns who were more commonly employed in that room, were Sainte Marie, +Sainte Catharine, Sainte Charlotte, Sainte Francis, Sainte Hyacinthe, +Sainte Hypolite, and others. But with these, as with other persons in +the Convent, I was never allowed to speak, except under circumstances +before mentioned. I was sent to read, and was not allowed even to answer +the most trivial question, if one were asked me. Should a nun say, "what +o'clock is it?" I never should have dared to reply, but was required to +report her to the Superior. + +Much stress was laid on the _sainte scapulaire_, or, holy +scapulary. This is a small band of cloth or silk, formed and wrought in +a peculiar manner, to be tied around the neck by two strings, fastened +to the ends. I have made many of them, having been sometimes set to make +them in the Convent. On one side is worked a kind of double cross, +(thus, XX) and on the other I. II. S., the meaning of which I do not +exactly know. Such a band is called a scapulary, and many miracles are +attributed to its power. Children on first receiving the communion are +often presented with scapularies, which they are taught to regard with +great reverence. We were told of the wonders effected by their means, in +the addresses made to us, by priests at catechism or lectures. I will +repeat one or two of the stories which occur to me. + +A Roman Catholic servant woman, who had concealed some of her sins at +confession, acted so hypocritical a part as to make her mistress believe +her a _decote_, or a strict observer of her duty. She even imposed +upon her confessor, to such a degree, that he gave her a scapulary. +After he had given it, however, one of the saints in heaven informed him +in a vision, that the holy scapulary must not remain on the neck of so +great a sinner; and that it must be restored to the church. She lay down +that night with the scapulary round her throat, but in the morning was +found dead, with her head cut off, and the scapulary was discovered in +the church. The belief was, that the devil could not endure to have so +holy a thing on one of his servants, and had pulled so hard to get it +off, as to draw the silken thread with which it was tied, through her +neck; after which, by some divine power it was restored to the church. + +Another story was as follows. A poor Roman Catholic was once taken +prisoner by the heretics. He had a _sainte scapulaire_ on his neck, +when God seeing him in the midst of his foes, took it from his neck by a +miracle, and held it up in the air above the throng of heretics; more +than one hundred of whom were converted, by seeing it thus +supernaturally suspended. + +I had been informed by the Superior, on my first admission as a nun, +that there was a subterraneous passage, leading from the cellar of our +Convent into that of the Congregational Nunnery; but, though I had so +often visited the cellar, I had never seen it. One day, after I had been +received three or four months, I was sent to walk through it upon my +knees with another nun, as a penance. This, and other penances, were +sometimes put upon us by the priests, without any reason assigned. The +common way, indeed, was to tell us of the sin for which a penance was +imposed, but we were left many times to conjecture. Now and then the +priests would inform us at a subsequent confession, when he happened to +recollect something about it, as I thought, and not because he +reflected, or cared much about the subject. + +The nun who was with me led me through the cellar, passing to the right +of the secret burying place, and showed me the door of the subterraneous +passage, which was at the extremity towards the Congregational Nunnery. +The reasons why I had not noticed it before, I presume, were that it was +made to shut close and even with the wall, and all that part of the +cellar was whitewashed. The door, which is of wood, and square, opens +with a latch into a passage, about four feet and a half high. We +immediately got upon our knees, commenced saying the prayers required, +and began to move slowly along the dark and narrow passage. It may be +fifty or sixty feet in length; when we reached the end, we opened a +door, and found ourselves in the cellar of the Congregational Nunnery, +at some distance from the outer wall; for the covered way is carried in +towards the middle of the cellar by two low partitions covered at the +top. By the side of the door, was placed a list of names of the Black +nuns, with a slide, that might be drawn over any of them. We covered our +names in this manner, as evidence of having performed the duty assigned +us; and then returned backwards on our knees, by the way we had come. +This penance I repeatedly performed afterwards; and by this way, as I +have occasion elsewhere to mention, nuns from the Congregational +Nunnery, sometimes entered our Convent for worse purposes. + +We were frequently assured, that miracles are still performed; and pains +were taken to impress us deeply on this subject. The Superior often +spoke to us of the Virgin Mary's pincushion, the remains of which it is +pretended are preserved in the Convent, though it has crumbled quite to +dust. We regarded this relic with such veneration, that we were afraid +even to look at it, and we often heard the following story related, when +the subject was introduced. + +A priest in Jerusalem once had a vision, in which he was informed that +the house in which the Virgin had lived, should be removed from its +foundations, and transported to a distance. He did not think the +communication was from God, and therefore disregarded it; but the house +was soon after missed, which convinced him that the vision was true, and +he told where the house might be found. A picture of the house is +preserved in the Nunnery, and was sometimes shown us. There are also wax +figures of Joseph sawing wood, and Jesus as a child, picking up the +chips. We were taught to sing a little song relating to this, the chorus +of which I remember. + + "Saint Joseph charpentier, + Petit Jesus ramassait les copeaux + Pour fair bouillir la marmite." + +St. Joseph was a carpenter, little Jesus collected chips to make the pot +boil. + +I began to speak of miracles, and I recollect a story of one, about a +family in Italy saved from shipwreck by a priest, who were in +consequence converted and had two sons honoured with the priest's +office. + +I had heard before I entered the Convent, about a great fire which +destroyed a number of houses in the Quebec suburbs, and which some said +the Bishop extinguished with holy water. I once heard a Catholic and a +Protestant disputing on this subject, and when I went to the +Congregational Nunnery, I sometimes heard the children, alluding to the +same story, say at an alarm of fire, "Is it a Catholic fire? Then why +does not the Bishop run?" + +Among the topics on which the bishop addressed the nuns in the Convent +this was one. He told us the story one day, and said he could have +sooner interfered and stopped the flames, but that at last, finding they +were about to destroy too many Catholic houses, he threw holy water on +the fire, and extinguished it. I believed this, and also thought that he +was able to put out any fire, but that he never did it, except when +inspired. + +The holy water which the Bishop had consecrated, was considered much +more efficacious, than any blessed by a common priest; and this it was +which was used in the Convent in sprinkling our beds. It had virtue in +it, to keep off any evil spirits. + +Now that I was a nun, I was occasionally sent to read lectures to the +novices, as other nuns had been while I was a novice. There were but few +of us, who were thought capable of reading English well enough, and +therefore, I was more frequently sent than I might otherwise have been. +The Superior often said to me, as I was going among the novices: + +"Try to convert them--save their souls--you know you will have a higher +place in heaven for every one you convert." + +For whatever reason, Mad Jane Ray seemed to take great delight in +crossing and provoking the Superior and old nuns; and often she would +cause an interruption when it was most inconvenient and displeasing to +them. The preservation of silence was insisted upon most rigidly, and +penances of such a nature were imposed for breaking it, that it was a +constant source of uneasiness with me, to know that I might infringe the +rules in so many ways, and that inattention might at any moment subject +me to something very unpleasant. During the periods of meditation, +therefore, and those of lecture, work, and repose, I kept a strict guard +upon myself, to escape penances, as well as to avoid sin; and the +silence of the other nuns, convinced me that they were equally watchful, +and from the same motives. + +My feelings, however, varied at different times, and so did those of +many, if not all my companions, excepting the older ones, who took their +turns in watching us. We sometimes felt disposed for gaiety, and threw +off all ideas that talking was sinful, even when forbidden by the rules +of the Convent. And even when I felt that I might perhaps be doing +wrong, I reflected that confession, and certainly penance, would soon +wipe off the guilt. + +I may remark here, that I ere long found out several things, important +to be known, to a person living under such rules. One of these was, that +it was much better to confess to a priest, a sin committed against the +rules, because he would not require one of the penances I most disliked, +viz.: those which exposed of me to the observation of the nuns, or which +demanded self-debasement before them, like begging their pardon, kissing +the floor, or the Superior's feet, &c., and, besides, he as a confessor +was said to be bound to secrecy, and could not inform the Superior +against me. My conscience being as effectually unburthened by my +confession to the priest, as I had been taught to believe, I therefore +preferred not to tell my sins to any one else; and this course I found +was preferred by others for the same good reasons. + +To Jane Ray, however, it sometimes appeared to be a matter of perfect +indifference, who knew her violations of rule, or to what penances she +exposed herself. + +Often and often, while perfect silence prevailed among the nuns, at +meditation, or while nothing was to be heard except the voice of the +reader appointed for the day, no matter whose life or writings were +presented for our contemplations, Jane would break forth with some +remark or question, that would attract general attention, and often +cause a long and total interruption. Sometimes she would make some +harmless remark or inquiry aloud, as if through mere inadvertency, and +then her well-known voice, so strongly associated with every thing +singular and ridiculous, would arrest the attention of us all, and +generally incline us to smile, and even force us to laugh. The Superior +would then usually utter some hasty remonstrance, and many a time have I +heard her pronounce some penance upon her; but Jane had ever some +apology ready, or some reply calculated to irritate still farther, or to +prove to every one, that no punishment would be effectual on her. +Sometimes this singular woman would appear to be actuated by opposite +feelings and motives; for although she usually delighted in drawing +others into difficulty, and has thrown many a severe penance even upon +her greatest favourites; on other occasions she appeared totally +regardless of consequences herself, and preferred to take all the blame, +anxious only to shield others. + +I have repeatedly known her to break silence in the community, as if she +had no object, or none beyond that of causing disturbance, or exciting a +smile, and as soon as it was noticed, exclaim: "Say it's me, say it's +me!" + +Sometimes she would even expose herself to punishments in place of +another who was guilty; and thus I found it difficult fully to +understand her. In some cases she seemed decidedly out of her wits, as +the Superior and priests commonly preferred to represent her; but +generally I saw in her what prevented me from accounting her insane. + +Among her most common tricks were such as these: She gave me the name of +the "Devout English Reader," because I was often appointed to make the +lecture to the English girls; and sometimes, after taking a seat near +me, under pretence of deafness, would whisper it in my hearing, because +she knew my want of self-command when excited to laughter. Thus she +often exposed me to penances for a breach of decorum, and set me to +biting my lips, to avoid laughing outright in the midst of a solemn +lecture. "Oh! you devout English Reader!" would sometimes come upon me +suddenly from her lips, with something in it so ludicrous that I had to +exert myself to the utmost to avoid observation. + +This came so often at one time, that I grew uneasy, and told her I must +confess it, to unburden my conscience; I had not done so before, because +she would complain of me, for giving way to temptation. + +Sometimes she would pass behind us as we stood at dinner ready to sit +down, and softly moving back our chairs, leave us to fall down upon the +floor. This she repeatedly has done; and While we were laughing +together, she would spring forward, kneel to the Superior, and beg her +pardon and a penance. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports made +to friends of St. Francis. + + +But I must now come to one deed, in which I had some part, and which I +look back upon with greater horror and pain, than any occurrences in the +Convent, in which I was not the principal sufferer. It is not necessary +for me to attempt to excuse myself in this or any other case. Those who +have any disposition to judge fairly, will exercise their own judgment +in making allowances for me, under the fear and force, the commands and +examples, around me. I, therefore, shall confine myself, as usual, to +the simple narrative of facts. The time was about five months after I +took the veil; the weather was cool, perhaps in September or October. +One day, the Superior sent for me and several other nuns, to receive her +commands at a particular room. We found the Bishop and some priests with +her; and speaking in an unusual tone of fierceness and authority, she +said, "Go to the room for the Examination of Conscience, and drag Saint +Francis up-stairs." Nothing more was necessary than this unusual +command, with the tone and manner which, accompanied it, to excite in me +most gloomy anticipation. It did not strike me as strange, that St. +Francis should be in the room to which the Superior directed us. It was +an apartment to which we were often sent to prepare for the communion, +and to which we voluntarily went, whenever we felt the compunctions +which our ignorance of duty, and the misinstructions we received, +inclined us to seek relief from self-reproach. Indeed, I had seen her +there a little before. What terrified me was, first, the Superior's +angry manner, second, the expression she used, being a French term, +whose [illegible] we had learnt in the Convent, and whose meaning is rather +softened when translated into _drag_; third, the place to which we +were directed to take the interesting young nun, and the persons +assembled there as I supposed to condemn her. My fears were such, +concerning the fate that awaited her, and my horror at the idea that she +was in some way to be sacrificed, that I would have given any thing to +be allowed to stay where I was. But I feared the consequence of +disobeying the Superior, and proceeded with the rest towards the room +for the examination of conscience. + +The room to which we were to proceed from that, was in the second story, +and the place of many a scene of a shameful nature. It is sufficient for +me to say, after what I have said in other parts of this book, that +things had there occurred which made me regard the place with the +greatest disgust Saint Francis had appeared melancholy for some time. I +well knew that she had cause, for she had been repeatedly subject to +trials which I need not name--our common lot. When we reached the room +where we had been bidden to seek her, I entered the door, my companions +standing behind me, as the place was so small as hardly to hold five +persons at a time. The young nun was standing alone near the middle of +the room; she was probably about twenty, with light hair, blue eyes, and +a very fair complexion. I spoke to her in a compassionate voice, but at +the same time with such a decided manner, that she comprehended my full +meaning-- + +"Saint Francis, we are sent for you." + +Several others spoke kindly to her, but two addressed her very harshly. +The poor creature turned round with a look of meekness, and without +expressing any unwillingness or fear, without even speaking a word, +resigned herself to our hands. The tears came into my eyes. I had not a +moment's doubt that she considered her fate as sealed, and was already +beyond the fear of death. She was conducted, or rather hurried to the +staircase, which was near by, and then seized by her limbs and clothes, +and in fact almost dragged up-stairs, in the sense the Superior had +intended. I laid my own hands upon her--I took hold of her too,--more +gentle indeed than some of the rest; yet I encouraged and assisted them +in carrying her. I could not avoid it. My refusal would not have saved +her, nor prevented her being carried up; it would only have exposed me +to some severe punishment, as I believed some of my companions, would +have seized the first opportunity to complain of me. + +All the way up the staircase, Saint Francis spoke not a word, nor made +the slightest resistance. When we entered with her the room to which she +was ordered, my heart sank within me. The Bishop, the Lady Superior, and +five priests, viz. Bonin, Richards, Savage, and two others, I now +ascertained, were assembled for her trial, on some charge of great +importance. + +When we had brought our prisoner before them, Father Richards began to +question her, and she made ready but calm replies. I cannot pretend to +give a connected account of what ensued: my feelings were wrought up to +such a pitch, that I knew not what I did, nor what to do. I was under a +terrible apprehension that, if I betrayed my feelings which almost +overcame me, I should fall under the displeasure of the cold-blooded +persecutors of my poor innocent sister; and this fear on the one hand, +with the distress I felt for her on the other, rendered me almost +frantic. As soon as I entered the room, I had stepped into a corner, on +the left of the entrance, where I might partially support myself, by +leaning against the wall, between the door and window. This support was +all that prevented me from falling to the floor, for the confusion of my +thoughts was so great, that only a few of the words I heard spoken on +either side made any lasting impression upon me. I felt as if struck +with some insupportable blow; and death would not have been more +frightful to me. I am inclined to the belief, that Father Richards +wished to shield the poor prisoner from the severity of her fate, by +drawing from her expressions that might bear a favorable construction. +He asked her, among other things, if she was not sorry for what she had +been overheard to say, (for she had been betrayed by one of the nuns,) +and if she would not prefer confinement in the cells, to the punishment +which was threatened her. But the Bishop soon interrupted him, and it +was easy to perceive, that he considered her fate as sealed, and was +determined she should not escape. In reply to some of the questions put +to her, she was silent; to others I heard her voice reply that she did +not repent of words she had uttered, though they had been reported by +some of the nuns who had heard them; that she still wished to escape +from the Convent; and that she had firmly resolved to resist every +attempt to compel her to the commission of crimes which she detested. +She added, that she would rather die than cause the murder of harmless +babes. + +"That is enough, finish her!" said the Bishop. + +Two nuns instantly fell upon the young woman, and in obedience to +directions, given by the Superior, prepared to execute her sentence. + +She still maintained all the calmness and submission of a lamb. Some of +those who took part in this transaction, I believe, were as unwilling as +myself; but of others I can safely say, that I believe they delighted in +it. Their conduct certainly exhibited a most blood-thirsty spirit. But, +above all others present, and above all human fiends I ever saw, I think +Sainte Hypolite was the most diabolical. She engaged in the horrid task +with all alacrity, and assumed from choice the most revolting parts to +be performed. She seized a gag, forced it into the mouth of the poor +nun, and when it was fixed between her extended jaws, so as to keep them +open at their greatest possible distance, took hold of the straps +fastened at each end of the stick, crossed them behind the helpless head +of the victim, and drew them tight through the loop prepared, as a +fastening. + +The bed which had always stood in one part of the room, still remained +there; though the screen, which had usually been placed before it, and +was made of thick muslin, with only a crevice through which a person +behind might look out, had been folded up on its hinges in the form of a +W, and placed in a corner. On the bed the prisoner was laid with her +face upward, and then bound with cords, so that she could not move. In +an instant another bed was thrown upon her. One of the priests, named +Bonin, sprung like a fury first upon it, and stamped upon it, with all +his force. He was speedily followed by the nuns, until there were as +many upon the bed as could find room, and all did what they could, not +only to smother, but to bruise her. Some stood up and jumped upon the +poor girl with their feet, some with their knees, and others in +different ways seemed to seek how they might best beat the breath out of +her body, and mangle it, without coming in direct contact with it, or +seeing the effects of their violence. During this time, my feelings were +almost too strong to be endured. I felt stupefied, and was scarcely +conscious of what I did. Still, fear for myself remained in a sufficient +degree to induce me to some exertion, and I attempted to talk to those +who stood next, partly that I might have an excuse for turning away from +the dreadful scene. + +After the lapse of fifteen or twenty minutes, and when it was presumed +that the sufferer had been smothered, and crushed to death, Father Bonin +and the nuns ceased to trample upon her, and stepped from the bed. All +was motionless and silent beneath it. + +They then began to laugh at such inhuman thoughts as occurred to some of +them, rallying each other in the most unfeeling manner, and ridiculing +me for the feelings which I in vain endeavoured to conceal. They alluded +to the resignation of our murdered companion, and one of them tauntingly +said, "She would have made a good Catholic martyr." After spending some +moments in such conversation, one of them asked if the corpse should be +removed. The Superior said it had better remain a little while. After +waiting a short time longer, the feather-bed was taken off, the cords +unloosed, and the body taken by the nuns and dragged down stairs. I was +informed that it was taken into the cellar, and thrown unceremoniously +into the hole which I have already described, covered with a great +quantity of lime, and afterwards sprinkled with a liquid, of the +properties and name of which I am ignorant. This liquid I have seen +poured into the hole from large bottles, after the necks were broken +off, and have heard that it is used in France to prevent the effluvia +rising from cemeteries. + +I did not soon recover from the shock caused by this scene; indeed it +still recurs to me, with most gloomy impressions. The next day there was +a melancholy aspect over everything, and recreation time passed in the +dullest manner; scarcely anything was said above a whisper. + +I never heard much said afterward about Saint Francis. + +I spoke with one of the nuns, a few words, one day, but we were all +cautioned not to expose ourselves very far, and could not place much +reliance in each other. The murdered nun had been brought to her +shocking end through the treachery of one of our number, in whom she +confided. + +I never knew with certainty who had reported her remarks to the +Superior, but suspicion fastened on one, and I never could regard her +but with detestation. + +I was more inclined to blame her than some of those employed in the +execution; for there could have been no necessity for the betrayal of +her feelings. We all knew how to avoid exposing each other. + +I was often sent by the Superior to overhear what was said by novices +and nuns: when they seemed to shun her, she would say, "Go and listen, +they are speaking English;" and though I obeyed her, I never informed +her against them. If I wished to clear my conscience, I would go to a +priest, and confess, knowing that he dared not communicate what I said +to any person, and that he would not impose as heavy penances as the +Superior. + +We were always at liberty to choose another confessor when we had any +sin to confess, which we were unwilling to tell one to whom we should +otherwise have gone. + +Not long after the murder just related, a young woman came to the +nunnery, and asked for permission to see Saint Francis. It was my former +friend, with whom I had been an assistant teacher, Miss Louise Bousquet, +of St. Denis. From this, I supposed the murdered nun might have come +from that town, or its vicinity. The only answer returned to the inquiry +was, that Saint Francis was dead. + +Some time afterward, some of St. Francis' friends called to inquire +after her, and they were told that she had died a glorious death; and +further told, that she made some heavenly expressions, which were +repeated in order to satisfy her friends. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in it-- +Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples. + + +The pictures in the room of the Three States were large, and painted by +some artist who understood how to make horrible ones. They appeared to +be stuck to the walls. The light is admitted from small and high +windows, which are curtained, and is rather faint, so as to make every +thing look gloomy. The story told us was, that they were painted by an +artist to whom God had given power to represent things exactly they are +in heaven, hell, and purgatory. + +In heaven, the picture of which hangs on one side of the apartment, +multitudes of nuns and priests are put in the highest places, with the +Virgin Mary at the head, St. Peter and other saints far above the great +numbers of good Catholics of other classes, who were crowded in below. + +In purgatory are multitudes of people; and in one part, called "_The +place of lambs_," are infants who died unbaptized. "_The place of +darkness_," is that part of purgatory in which adults are collected; +and there they are surrounded with flames, waiting to be delivered by +the prayers of the living. + +In hell, the picture of which, and that of purgatory, were on the wall +opposite that of heaven, the human faces were the most horrible that can +be imagined. Persons of different descriptions were represented, with +the most distorted features, ghastly complexions, and every variety of +dreadful expression; some with wild beasts gnawing at their heads, +others furiously biting the iron bars which kept them in, with looks +which could not fail to make a spectator shudder. + +I could hardly persuade myself that the figures were not living, and the +impression they made on my feelings was powerful. I was often shown the +place where nuns go who break their vows, as a warning. It is the +hottest place in hell, and worse, in every point of view, even than that +to which Protestants are assigned; because they are not so much to be +blamed, as we were sometimes assured, as their ministers and the Bible, +by which they are perverted. + +Whenever I was shut in that room, as I was several times, I prayed for +"les ames des fideles trepasses:" the souls of those faithful ones who +have long been in purgatory, and have no relations living to pray for +them. + +My feelings were often of the most painful description, while I remained +alone with those frightful pictures. + +Jane Ray was once put in, and uttered the most dreadful shrieks. Some of +the old nuns proposed to the Superior to have her gagged: "No" she +replied; "go and let out that devil, she makes me sin more +than all the rest." + +Jane could not endure the place; and she afterward gave names to many of +the worst figures in the pictures. On catechism-days she would take a +seat behind a cupboard-door, where the priest could not see her, while +she faced the nuns, and would make us laugh. "You are not so attentive +to your lesson as you used to be," he would begin to say, while we were +endeavouring to suppress our laughter. + +Jane would then hold up the first letter of some priest's name, whom she +had before compared with one of the faces in "hell," and look so that we +could hardly preserve our gravity. I remember she named the wretch who +was biting at the bars of hell, with a serpent gnawing his head, with +chains and padlocks on, Father Dufresne; and she would say--"Does not he +look like him, when he comes in to Catechism with his long solemn face, +and begins his speeches with, 'My children, my hope is, you have lived +very devout lives?'" + +The first time I went to confession after taking the veil, I found +abundant evidence that the priests did not treat even that ceremony, +which is called a solemn sacrament, with respect enough to lay aside the +detestable and shameless character they so often showed on other +occasions. The confessor sometimes sat in the room of examination of +conscience, and sometimes in the Superior's room, and always alone, +except the nun who was confessing. He had a common chair placed in the +middle of the floor, and instead of being placed behind a grate, or +lattice, as in the chapel, had nothing before or around him. There were +no spectators to observe him, and of course any such thing would have +been unnecessary. + +A number of nuns usually confessed on the same day, but only one could +be admitted into the room at the time. They took their places just +without the door, on their knees, and went through the preparation +prescribed by the rules of confession; repeating certain prayers, which +always occupy a considerable time. When one was ready, she rose from her +knees, entered, and closed the door behind her; and no other one even +dared touch the latch until she came out. + +I shall not tell what was transacted at such times, under the pretence +of confessing, and receiving absolution from sin: far more guilt was +often incurred than pardoned; and crimes of a deep die were committed, +while trifling irregularities, in childish ceremonies, were treated as +serious offences. I cannot persuade myself to speak plainly on such a +subject, as I must offend the virtuous ear. I can only say, that +suspicion cannot do any injustice to the priests, because their sins +cannot be exaggerated. + +Some idea may be formed of the manner in which even such women as many +of my sister nuns were regarded the confessors, when I state, that there +was often a contest among us, to avoid entering the apartment as long as +we could, endeavouring to make each other go first, as that was what +most of us dreaded. + +During the long and tedious days, which filled up the time between the +occurrences I have mentioned, nothing, or little took place to keep up +our spirits. We were fatigued in body with labour, or with sitting, +debilitated by the long continuance of our religious exercises, and +depressed in feelings by our miserable and hopeless condition. Nothing +but the humors of mad Jane Ray, could rouse us for a moment from our +languor and melancholy. + +To mention all her devices, would require more room than is here +allowed, and a memory of almost all her words and actions for years. I +had early become a favourite with her, and had opportunity to learn more +of her character than most of the other nuns. As this may be best learnt +from hearing what she did, I will here recount a few of her tricks, just +as they happen to present themselves to my memory, without regard to the +order of time. + +She one day, in an unaccountable humour, sprinkled the floor plentifully +with holy water, which brought upon her a severe lecture from the +Superior, as might have been expected. The Superior said it was a +heinous offence; she had wasted holy water enough to save many souls +from purgatory; and what would they not give for it! She then ordered +Jane to sit in the middle of the floor, and when the priest came, he was +informed of her offence. Instead, however, of imposing one of those +penances to which she had often been subjected, but with so little +effect, he said to her, "Go to your place, Jane; we forgive you for this +time." + +I was once set to iron aprons with Jane; aprons and pocket-handkerchiefs +are the only articles of dress which are ever ironed in the Convent. As +soon as we were alone, she remarked, "Well, we are free from the rules, +while we are at this work;" and although she knew she had no reason for +saying so, she began to sing, and I soon joined her, and thus we spent +the time, while we were at work, to the neglect of the prayers we ought +to have said. + +We had no idea that we were in danger of being overheard, but it +happened that the Superior was overhead all the time, with several nuns, +who were preparing for confession: she came down and said, "How is +this?" Jane Ray coolly replied, that we had employed our time in singing +hymns, and referred to me. I was afraid to confirm so direct a +falsehood, in order to deceive the Superior, though I had often told +more injurious ones of her fabrication, or at her orders, and said very +little in reply to Jane's request. + +The Superior plainly saw the trick that was attempted, and ordered us +both to the room for the examination of conscience, where we remained +till night, without a mouthful to eat. The time was not, however, +unoccupied; I received such a lecture from Jane, as I have very seldom +heard, and she was so angry with me that we did not speak to each other +for two weeks. + +At length she found something to complain of against me, had me +subjected to a penance, which led to our begging each other's pardon, +and we became perfectly satisfied, reconciled, and as good friends as +ever. + +One of the most disgusting penances we ever had to submit to, was that +of drinking the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Nobody +could ever laugh at this penance except Jane Ray. She would pretend to +comfort us, by saying, she was sure it was better than mere plain, clear +water. + +Some of the tricks which I remember, were played by Jane with nuns' +clothes. It was a rule that the oldest aprons in use should go to the +youngest received, and the old nuns were to wear all the new ones. On +four different occasions, Jane stole into the sleeping-room at night, +and unobserved by the watch, changed a great part of the aprons, placing +them by the beds of nuns to whom they did not belong. The consequence +was, that in the morning they dressed themselves in such haste, as never +to discover the mistakes they made, until they were all ranged at +prayers; and then the ridiculous appearance which many of them cut, +disturbed the long devotions. I laugh so easily, that on such occasions, +I usually incurred a full share of penances, I generally, however, got a +new apron, when Jane played this trick; for it was part of her object, +to give the best aprons to her favourites, and put off the ragged ones +on some of the old nuns whom she most hated. + +Jane once lost her pocket-handkerchief. The penance for such an offence +is, to go without any for five weeks. For this she had no relish, and +requested me to pick one from some of the nuns on the way up-stairs. I +succeeded in getting two: this Jane said was one too many; and she +thought it dangerous for either of us to keep it, lest a search should +be made. Very soon the two nuns were complaining that they had lost +their handkerchiefs, and wondering what could have become of them, as +they were sure that they had been careful. Jane seized an opportunity, +and slipped one into a straw bed, where it remained until the bed was +emptied to be filled with new straw. + +As the winter was coming on, one year, she complained to me that we were +not as well supplied with warm night-clothes as two of the nuns she +named, whom she said she "abominated." She soon after found means to get +possession of their fine warm flannel nightgowns, one of which she gave +to me, while the other she put on at bed time. She presumed the owners +would have a secret search for them; and in the morning hid them in the +stove, after the fire had gone out, which was kindled a little before +the hour of rising, and then suffered to burn down. + +This she did every morning, taking them out at night, through the +winter. The poor nuns who owned the garments were afraid to complain of +their loss, lest they should have some penance laid on them, and nothing +was ever said about them. When the weather began to grow warm in the +spring Jane returned the nightgowns to the beds of the nuns, from whom +she had borrowed them, and they were probably as much surprised to find +them again, as they had before been at losing them. + +Jane once found an opportunity to fill her apron with a quantity of fine +apples, called _fameuses_, which came in her way, and, hastening up +to the sleeping-room, hid them under my bed. Then, coming down, she +informed me, and we agreed to apply for leave to make our elevens, as it +is called. The meaning of this is, to repeat a certain round of prayers, +for nine days in succession, to some saint we choose to address for +assistance, in becoming more charitable, affectionate or something else. +We easily obtained permission, and hastened up-stairs to begin our nine +days' feast on the apples; when, much to our surprise, they had all been +taken away, and there was no way to avoid the disagreeable fate we had +brought upon ourselves. Jane therefore began to search the beds of the +other nuns; but not finding any trace of the apples, she became doubly +vexed and stuck pins in those which belonged to her enemies. + +When bedtime came, they were much scratched in getting in bed, which +made them break silence, and that subjected them to penances. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted +Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of her Tricks--Feigned Humility-- +Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made by stratagem. + + +One night, Jane, who had been sweeping the sleeping-room, for a penance, +dressed up the broom-stick, when she had completed her work, with a +white cloth on the end, so tied as to resemble an old woman dressed in +white, with long arms sticking out. This she stuck through a broken pane +of glass, and placed it so that it appeared to be looking in at the +window, by the font of holy water. There it remained until the nuns came +up to bed. The first who stopped at the font, to dip her finger in, +caught a glimpse of the singular object, and started with terror. The +next was equally terrified, as she approached, and the next and the +next. + +We all believed in ghosts; and it was not wonderful that such an object +should cause alarm, especially as it was but a short time after the +death of one of the nuns. Thus they went on, each getting a fright in +turn, yet all afraid to speak. At length, one more alarmed, or with less +presence of mind than the rest, exclaimed, "Oh, mon Dieu! Je ne me +coucherais pas!" When the night-watch called out, "Who's that?" she +confessed she had broken silence, but pointed at the cause; and then, +all the nuns assembling at a distance from the window, Jane offered to +advance boldly, and ascertain the nature of the apparition, which they +thought a most resolute intention. We all stood looking on, when she +stepped to the window, drew in the broomstick, and showed us the +ridiculous puppet, which had alarmed so many superstitious fears. + +Some of her greatest feats she performed as a sleep walker. Whether she +ever walked in her sleep or not, I am unable with certainty, to say. She +however often imposed upon the Superior and old nuns, by making them +think so, when I knew she did not; and yet, I cannot positively say that +she always did. I have remarked, that one of the old nuns was always +placed in our sleeping-room at night, to watch us. Sometimes she would +be inattentive, and sometimes fall into a doze. Jane Ray often seized +such times to rise from her bed, and walk about, occasionally seizing +one of the nuns in bed, in order to frighten her. This she generally +affected; and many times we have all been awakened, by screams of +terror. In our alarm, some of us frequently broke silence, and gave +occasion to the Superior to lay us under penances. Many tunes, however, +we escaped with a mere reprimand, while Jane usually received +expressions of compassion:--"Poor creature! she would not do so if she +were in perfect possession of her reason." And Jane displayed her +customary artfulness, in keeping up the false impression. As soon as she +perceived that the old nun was likely to observe her, she would throw +her arms about, or appear unconscious of what she was doing, falling +upon a bed, or standing stock-still, until exertions had been made to +rouse her from her supposed lethargy. + +We were once allowed to drink cider at dinner, which was quite an +extraordinary favour. Jane, however, on account of her negligence of all +work, was denied the privilege, which she much resented. The next day +when dinner arrived, we began to taste our new drink, but it was so salt +we could not swallow it. Those of us who at first discovered it, were, +as usual, afraid to speak; but we set down our cups, and looked round, +till the others made the same discovery, which they all soon did, and +most of them in the same manner. Some, however, at length, taken by +surprise, uttered some ludicrous exclamation, on tasting the salted +cider, and then an old nun, looking cross, would cry out:-- + +"Ah! tu casses la silence!" (Ah! you've broken silence.) + +And thus we soon got a-laughing, beyond our power of suppressing it. At +recreation, that day, the first question asked by many of us, was, "How +did you like your cider?" + +Jane Ray never had a fixed place to sleep in. When the weather began to +grow warm in the spring, she usually pushed some bed out of its place, +near a window, and put her own beside it; and when the winter +approached, she would choose a spot near the stove, and occupy it with +her bed, in spite of all remonstrance. We were all convinced that it was +generally best to yield to her. + +She was often set to work, in different ways; but, whenever she was +dissatisfied with doing any thing, would devise some trick that would +make the Superior, or old nuns, drive her off; and whenever any +suspicion was expressed, of her being in her right mind, she would say, +that she did not know what she was doing; that all the difficulty arose +from her repeating prayers too much, which wearied and distracted her +mind. + +I was once directed to assist Jane Ray, in shifting the beds of the +nuns. When we came to those of some of the sisters, whom she most +disliked, she said, now we will pay them for some of the penances we +have suffered on their account; and taking some thistles, she mixed them +with the straw. At night, the first of them who got into bed, felt the +thistles, and cried out. The night-watch exclaimed, as usual, "You are +breaking silence there." And then another screamed, as she was scratched +by the thistles and another. The old nun then called on all who had +broken silence to rise, and ordered them to sleep under their beds, as a +penance, which they silently complied with. Jane and I afterward +confessed, when it was all over, and took some trifling penance which +the priest imposed. + +Those nuns who fell most under the displeasure of mad Jane Ray, as I +have intimated before, were those who had the reputation of being most +ready to inform of the trifling faults of others and especially those +who acted without any regard to honour, by disclosing what they had +pretended to listen to in confidence. Several of the worst tempered +"saints" she held in abhorrence; and I have heard her say, that such and +such, she abominated. Many a trick did she play upon these, some of +which were painful to them in their consequences, and a good number of +them have never been traced to this day. Of all the nuns, however, none +other was regarded by her with so much detestation as Saint Hypolite; +for she was always believed to have betrayed Saint Francis, and to have +caused her murder. She was looked upon by us as the voluntary cause of +her death, and of the crime which those of us committed, who, +unwillingly, took part in her execution. We, on the contrary, being +under the worst of fears for ourselves, in case of refusing to obey our +masters and mistress, thought ourselves chargeable with less guilt, as +unwilling assistants in a scene, which it was impossible for us to +prevent or delay. Jane has often spoken to me of the suspected informer, +and always in terms of the greatest bitterness. + +The Superior sometimes expressed commiseration for mad Jane Ray, but I +never could tell whether she really believed her insane or not. I was +always inclined to think that she was willing to put up with some of her +tricks, because they served to divert our minds from the painful and +depressing circumstances in which we were placed. I knew the Superior's +powers and habits of deception also, and that she would deceive us as +willingly as any one else. + +Sometimes she proposed to send Jane to St. Anne's, a place near Quebec, +celebrated for the pilgrimages made to it by persons differently +afflicted. It is supposed that some peculiar virtue exists there, which +will restore health to the sick; and I have heard stories told in +corroboration of the common belief. Many lame and blind persons, with +others, visit St. Anne's every year, some of whom may be seen travelling +on foot, and begging their food. The Superior would sometimes say that +it was a pity that a woman like Jane Ray, capable of being so useful, +should be unable to do her duties in consequence of a malady which she +thought might be cured by a visit to St Anne's. + +Yet to St. Anne's Jane never was sent, and her wild and various tricks +continued as before. The rules of silence, which the others were so +scrupulous in observing, she set at naught every hour; and as for other +rules, she regarded them with as little respect when they stood in her +way. She would now and then step out and stop the clock by which our +exercises were regulated, and sometimes, in this manner, lengthened out +our recreations till near twelve. At last the old nuns began to watch +against such a trick, and would occasionally go out to see if the clock +was going. + +She once made a request that she might not eat with the other nuns, +which was granted, as it seemed to proceed from a spirit of genuine +humility, which made her regard herself as unworthy of our society. + +It being most convenient, she was sent to the Superior's table to make +her meals after her; and it did not at first occur to the Superior, that +Jane, in this manner, profited by the change, by getting much better +food than the rest of us. Thus there seemed to be always something +deeper than anybody at first suspected, at the bottom of everything she +did. + +She was once directed to sweep a community-room, under the sleeping- +chamber. This office had before been assigned to the other nuns, as a +penance; but the Superior, considering that Jane Ray did little or +nothing, determined thus to furnish her with some employment. + +She declared to us that she would not sweep it long, as we might soon be +assured. It happened that the stove by which that community-room was +warmed in the winter, had its pipe carried through the floor of our +sleeping-chamber, and thence across it, in a direction opposite that in +which the pipe of our stove was carried. It being then warm weather, the +first-mentioned pipe had been taken down, and the hole left unstopped. +After we had all retired to our beds, and while engaged in our silent +prayers, we were suddenly alarmed by a bright blaze of fire, which burst +from the hole in the floor, and threw sparks all around us. We thought +the building was burning, and uttered cries of terror regardless of the +penances, the fear of which generally kept us silent. + +The utmost confusion prevailed; for although we had solemnly vowed never +to flee from the Convent even if it was on fire, we were extremely +alarmed, and could not repress our feelings. We soon learnt the cause, +for the flames ceased in a moment or two, and it was found that mad Jane +Ray, after sweeping a little in the room beneath, had stuck a quantity +of wet powder on the end of her broom, thrust it up through the hole in +the ceiling into our apartment, and with a lighted paper set it on fire. + +The date of this alarm I must refer to a time soon after that of the +election riots, for I recollect that she found means to get possession +of some of the powder which was prepared at that time, for an emergency +to which some thought the Convent was exposed. + +She once asked for pen and paper, and when the Superior told her that if +she wrote to her friends she must see it, she replied, that it was for +no such purpose; she wanted to write her confession, and thus make it +once for all. She wrote it, handed it to the priest, and he gave it to +the Superior, who read it to us. It was full of offences which she had +never committed, evidently written to throw ridicule on confessions, and +one of the most ludicrous productions I ever saw. + +Our bedsteads were made with narrow boards laid across them, on which +the beds were laid. One day, while we were in the bedchamber together, +she proposed that we should misplace these boards. This was done, so +that at night nearly a dozen nuns fell down upon the floor on getting +into bed. A good deal of confusion naturally ensued, but the authors +were not discovered. I was so conscience-stricken, however, that a week +afterward, while we examined our consciences together, I told her I must +confess the sin the next day. She replied, "Do as you like, but you will +be sorry for it." + +The next day, when we came before the Superior, I was just going to +kneel and confess, when Jane, almost without giving me time to shut the +door, threw herself at the Superior's feet, and confessed the trick, and +a penance was immediately laid on me for the sin I had concealed. + +There was an old nun, who was a famous talker, whom used to call La +Mere, (Mother). One night, Jane Ray got up, and secretly changed the +caps of several of the nuns, and hers among the rest. In the morning +there was great confusion, and such a scene as seldom occurred. She was +severely blamed by La Mere, having been informed against by some of the +nuns; and at last became so much enraged, that she attacked the old +woman, and even took her by the throat. La Mere called on all present to +come to her assistance, and several nuns interfered. Jane seized the +opportunity afforded in the confusion to beat some of her worst enemies +quite severely, and afterwards said, that she had intended to kill some +of the rascally informers. + +For a time Jane made us laugh so much at prayers, that the Superior +forbade her going down with us to morning prayers, and she took the +opportunity to sleep in the morning. When this was found out, she was +forbidden to get into her bed again after leaving it, and then she would +creep under it and take a nap on the floor. This she told us of one day, +but threatened us if we ever betrayed her. At length, she was missed at +breakfast, as she would sometimes oversleep herself, and the Superior +began to be more strict, and always inquired, in the morning whether +Jane Ray was in her place. When the question was general, none of us +answered; but when it was addressed to some nun near her by name, as, +"Saint Eustace, is Jane Ray in her place?" then we had to reply. + +Of all the scenes that occurred during my stay in the Convent, there was +none which excited the delight of Jane more than one which took place in +the chapel one day at mass, though I never had any particular reason to +suppose that she had brought it about. + +Some person, unknown to me to this day, had put some substance or other, +of a most nauseous smell, into the hat of a little boy, who attended at +the altar, and he, without observing the trick, put it upon his head. In +the midst of the ceremonies he approached some of the nuns, who were +almost suffocated with the odour; and as he occasionally moved from +place to place some of them began to beckon to him to stand further off, +and to hold their noses, with looks of disgust. The boy was quite +unconscious of the cause of the difficulty, and paid them no attention; +but the confusion soon became so great, through the distress of some, +and the laughing of others, that the Superior noticed the circumstance, +and beckoned to the boy to withdraw. All attempts, however, to engage us +in any work, prayer, or meditation, were found ineffectual. Whenever the +circumstances in the chapel came to mind, we would laugh out. We had got +into such a state, that we could not easily restrain ourselves. The +Superior, yielding to necessity, allowed us recreation for the whole +day. + +The Superior used sometimes to send Jane to instruct the novices in +their English prayers. She would proceed to her task with all +seriousness; but sometimes chose the most ridiculous, as well as +irreverent passages, from songs, and other things, which she had before +somewhere learnt, which would set us, who understood her, laughing. One +of her rhymes, I recollect, began with: + + "The Lord of love, look from above, + Upon this turkey hen." + +Jane for a time slept opposite me, and often in the night would rise, +unobserved, and slip into my bed, to talk with me, which she did in a +low whisper, and return again with equal caution. + +She would tell me of the tricks she had played, and such as she +meditated, and sometimes make me laugh so loud, that I had much to do in +the morning with begging pardons, and doing penances. + +One winter's day, she was sent to light a fire; but after she had done +so, remarked privately to some of us: "My fingers were too cold--you'll +see if I do it again." The next day, there was a great stir in the +house, because it was said that mad Jane Ray had been seized with a fit +while making a fire, and she was taken up apparently insensible, and +conveyed to her bed. She complained to me, who visited her in the course +of the day, that she was likely to starve, as food was denied her; and I +was persuaded to pin a stocking under my dress, and secretly put food +into it from the table. This I afterward carried to her and relieved her +wants. + +One of the things which I blamed Jane most for, was a disposition to +quarrel with any nun who seemed to be winning the favour of the +Superior. She would never rest until she had brought such a one into +some difficulty. + +We were allowed but little soap; and Jane, when she found her supply +nearly gone, would take the first piece she could find. One day there +was a general search made for a large piece that was missed; when, soon +after I had been searched, Jane Ray passed me and slipped it into my +pocket; she was soon after searched herself and then secretly came for +it again. + +While I recall these particulars of our nunnery, and refer so often to +the conduct and language of one of the nuns, I cannot speak of some +things which I believed or suspected, on account of my want of +sufficient knowledge. But it is a pity you have not Jane Ray for a +witness; she knows many things of which I am ignorant. She must he in +possession of facts that should be known. Her long residence in the +Convent, her habits of roaming about it, and of observing every thing, +must have made her acquainted with things which would be heard with +interest. I always felt as if she knew everything. She would often go +and listen, or look through the cracks into the Superior's room, while +any of the priests were closeted with her, and sometimes would come and +tell me what she witnessed. I felt myself bound to confess in such +cases, and always did so. + +She knew, however, that I only told it to the priest or to the Superior, +and without mentioning the name of my informant, which I was at liberty +to withhold, so that she was not found out. I often said to her, "Don't +tell me, Jane, for I must confess it." She would reply: + +"It is better for you to confess it than for me." I thus became, even +against my will, informed of scenes, supposed by the actors of them to +be secret. + +Jane Ray once persuaded me to accompany her into the Superior's room, to +hide with her under the sofa, and await the appearance of a visitor whom +she expected, that we might overhear what passed between them. We had +been long concealed, when the Superior came in alone and sat for some +time, when fearing she might detect us in the stillness which prevailed, +we began to repent of our temerity. At length however, she suddenly +withdrew, and thus afforded us a welcome opportunity to escape. + +I was passing one day through a part of the cellar, where I had not +often occasion to go, when the toe of my shoe hit something. I tripped +and fell down. I rose again, and holding my lamp to see what had caused +my fall, I found an iron ring, fastened to a small square trapdoor. +This I had the curiosity to raise, and saw four or five steps leading +down, but there was not light enough to see more, and I feared to be +noticed by somebody and reported to the Superior; so closing the door +again, I left the spot. At first, I could not imagine the use for such a +passage; but it afterward occurred to me, that this might open to the +subterranean passage to the Seminary, for I never before could account +for the appearance of many of the priests, who often appeared and +disappeared among us, particularly at night, when I knew the gates were +closed. They could, as I now saw, come up to the door of the Superior's +room at any hour, then up the stairs into our sleeping-room, or where +they chose. And often they were in our beds before us. + +I afterward ascertained that my conjectures were correct, and that a +secret communication was kept up, in this manner, between the two +institutions, at the end towards Notre Dame-street, at a considerable +depth under ground. I often afterward, met priests in the cellar, when +sent there for coal and other articles, as they had to pass up and down +the common cellar stairs on their way. + +My wearisome daily prayers and labours, my pain of body, and depression +of mind which were so much increased by penances I had suffered, and +those which I constantly feared, and the feelings of shame, remorse, and +horror, which sometimes arose, brought me into a state which I cannot +describe. + +In the first place, my frame was enfeebled by the uneasy postures I was +required to keep for so long a time during prayers. This alone I thought +was sufficient to undermine my health and destroy my life. An hour and a +half every morning I had to sit on the floor of the community-room, with +my feet under me, my body bent forward, and my head hanging on one side +--in a posture expressive of great humility, it is true, but very +fatiguing to keep for such an unreasonable length of time. Often I found +it impossible to avoid falling asleep in this posture, which I could do +without detection, by bending a little lower than usually. The signal to +rise, or the noise made by the rising of the other nuns, then woke me, +and I got up with the rest unobserved. + +Before we took the posture just described, we had to kneel for a long +time without bending the body, keeping quite erect, with the exception +of the knees only, with the hands together before the breast. This I +found the most distressing attitude for me, and never assumed it without +feeling a sharp pain in my chest, which I often thought would soon lead +me to my grave--that is, to the great common receptacle for the dead, +under the chapel. And this upright kneeling posture we were obliged to +resume as soon as we rose from the half-sitting posture first mentioned; +so that I usually felt myself exhausted and near to fainting before the +conclusion of morning services. + +I found the meditations extremely tedious, and often did I sink into +sleep while we were all seated in silence on the floor. When required to +tell my meditations, as it was thought to be of no great importance what +we said, I sometimes found I had nothing to tell but a dream, and told +that, which passed off very well. + +Jane Ray appeared to be troubled still more than myself with wandering +thoughts; and when blamed for them, would reply, "I begin very well; but +directly I begin to think of some old friend of mine, and my thoughts go +a-wandering from one country to another." + +Sometimes I confessed my falling asleep; and often the priests have +talked to me about the sin of sleeping in time of meditation. At last, +one of them proposed to me to prick myself with a pin, which I have +often done, and so roused myself for a time. + +My close confinement in the Convent, and the want of opportunities to +breathe the open air, might have proved more injurious to me than they +did, had I not employed a part of my time in more active labours than +those of sewing, &c., to which I was chiefly confined. I took part +occasionally in some of the heavy work, as washing, &c. + +The events which I am now to relate, occurred about five months after my +admission into the Convent as a nun; but I cannot fix the time with +precision, as I know not of any thing which took place in the world +about the same period. The circumstance I clearly remember; but, as I +have elsewhere remarked, we were not accustomed to keep any account of +time. + +Information was given to us one day, that another novice was to be +admitted among us; and we were required to remember and mention her +often in our prayers, that she might have faithfulness in the service of +her holy spouse. No information was given us concerning her beyond this +fact: not a word about her age, name, or nation. On all similar +occasions the same course was pursued, and all that the nuns ever learnt +concerning one another was what they might discover by being together, +and which usually amounted to little or nothing. + +When the day of her admission arrived, though I did not witness the +ceremony in the chapel, it was a gratification to us all on one account, +because we were all released from labour, and enjoyed a great +recreation-day. + +Our new sister, when she was introduced to the "holy" society of us +"saints," proved to be young, of about the middle size, and very good- +looking for a Canadian; for I soon ascertained that she was one of my +own countrywomen. The Canadian females are generally not handsome. I +never learnt her name, nor any thing of her history. She had chosen +Saint Martin for her nun name. She was admitted in the morning, and +appeared melancholy all day. This I observed was always the case; and +the remarks made by others, led me to believe that they, and all they +had seen, had felt sad and miserable for a longer or shorter time. Even +the Superior, as it may be recollected, confessed to me that she had +experienced the same feelings when she was received. When bedtime +arrived, she proceeded to the chamber with the rest of us, and was +assigned a bed on the side of the room opposite my own, and a little +beyond. The nuns were all soon in bed, the usual silence ensued, and I +was making my customary mental prayer and composing myself to sleep, +when I heard the most piercing and heart-rending shrieks proceed from +our new comrade. Every nun seemed to rise as if by one impulse, for no +one could hear such sounds, especially in such total silence, without +being greatly excited. A general noise succeeded, for many voices spoke +together, uttering cries of surprise, compassion, or fear. It was in +vain for the night-watch to expect silence: for once we forgot rules and +penances, and gave vent to our feelings, and she could do nothing but +call for the Superior. Strange as it may seem, mad Jane Ray, who found +an opportunity to make herself heard for an instant, uttered an +exclamation in English, which so far from expressing any sympathy for +the sufferer, seemed to betray feelings hardened to the last degree +against conscience and shame. This caused a laugh among some of those +who understood her, and had become hardened to their own trials, and of +course in a great measure to those of others. + +I heard a man's voice mingled with the cries and shrieks of the nun. +Father Quiblier, of the Seminary, I had felt confident, was in the +Superior's room at the time when we retired; and several of the nuns +afterward assured me that it was he. The Superior soon made her +appearance, and in a harsh manner commanded silence. I heard her +threaten gagging her, and then say, "You are no better than anybody +else, and if you do not obey, you shall be sent to the cells." + +One young girl was taken into the Convent during my abode there, under +peculiar circumstances. I was acquainted with the whole affair, as I was +employed to act a part in it. + +Among the novices, was a young lady of about seventeen, the daughter of +an old rich Canadian. She had been remarkable for nothing that I know of +except the liveliness of her disposition. The Superior once expressed to +us a wish to have her take the veil, though the girl herself had never +had any such intention, that I knew of. Why the Superior wished to +receive her, I could only conjecture. One reason might have been, that +she expected to receive a considerable sum from her father. She was, +however, strongly desirous of having the girl in our community, and one +day said: "Let us take her in by a trick, and tell the old man she felt +too humble to take the veil in public." + +Our plans then being laid, the unsuspecting girl was induced by us, in +sport, as we told her, and made her believe, to put on such a splendid +robe as I had worn on my admission, and to pass through some of the +ceremonies of taking the veil. After this, she was seriously informed, +that she was considered as having entered the Convent in earnest, and +must henceforth bury herself to the world, as she would never be allowed +to leave it. We put on her a nun's dress, though she wept, and refused, +and expressed the greatest repugnance. The Superior threatened, and +promised, and flattered, by turns, until the poor girl had to submit; +but her appearance long showed that she was a nun only by compulsion. + +In obedience to the directions of the Superior, we exerted ourselves to +make her contented, especially when she was first received, when we got +round her, and told her we had felt so for a time, but having since +become acquainted with the happiness of a nun's life, were perfectly +content and would never be willing to leave the Convent. An exception +seemed to be made in her favor, in one respect: for I believe no +criminal attempt was made upon her, until she had been some time an +inmate of the nunnery. + +Soon after her reception, or rather her forcible entry into the Convent, +her father called to make inquiry about his daughter. The Superior first +spoke with him herself, and then called us to repeat her plausible +story, which I did with accuracy. If I had wished to say any thing else, +I never should have dared. + +We told the foolish old man, that his daughter, whom we all loved, had +long desired to become a Nun, but had been too humble to wish to appear +before spectators, and had, at her own desire, been favored with a +private admission into the community. + +The benefit conferred upon himself and his family, by this act of self- +consecration I reminded him, must be truly great and valuable; as every +family which furnishes a priest, or a nun, is justly looked upon as +receiving the peculiar favor of heaven on that account. The old Canadian +firmly believed every word I was forced to tell him, took the event as a +great blessing, and expressed the greatest readiness to pay more than +the customary fee to the Convent. After the interview, he withdrew, +promising soon to return and pay a handsome sum to the convent, which he +performed with all despatch, and the greatest cheerfulness. The poor +girl never heard that her father had taken the trouble to call to see +her, much less did she know any thing of the imposition passed upon him. +She remained in the Convent when I left it. + +The youngest girl who ever took the veil of our sisterhood, was only +fourteen years of age, and considered very pious. She lived but a short +time. I was told that she was ill-treated by the priests, and believe +her death was in consequence. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives, Jane Ray's +Hymns, The Superior's best Trick. + + +It was considered a great duty to exert ourselves to influence novices +in favor of the Roman Catholic religion; and different nuns, were, at +different times, charged to do what they could, by conversation, to make +favourable impressions on the minds of some, who were particularly +indicated to us by the Superior. I often heard it remarked, that those +who were influenced with the greatest difficulty, were young ladies from +the United States; and on some of those, great exertions were made. + +Cases in which citizens of the States were said to have been converted +to the Roman Catholic faith, were sometimes spoken of, and always as if +they were considered highly important. + +The Bishop, as we were told, was on the public square, on the day of an +execution, when, as he said, a stranger looked at him in some peculiar +manner, which made him confidently believe God intended to have him +converted by his means. When he went home, he wrote a letter for him, +and the next day found him again in the same place, and gave him the +letter, which led to his becoming a Roman Catholic. This man, it was +added, proved to be a citizen of the States. + +The Bishop, as I have remarked, was not very dignified on all occasions, +and sometimes acted in such a manner as would not have appeared well in +public. + +One day I saw him preparing for mass; and because he had difficulty in +getting on his robe, showed evident signs of anger. One of the nuns +remarked: "The Bishop is going to perform a passionate mass." Some of +the others exclaimed: "Are you not ashamed to speak so of my lord!" And +she was rewarded with a penance. + +But it might be hoped that the Bishop would be free from the crimes of +which I have declared so many priests to have been guilty. I am far from +entertaining such charitable opinions of him; and I had good reasons, +after a time. + +I was often required to sleep on a sofa, in the room of the present +Superior, as I may have already mentioned. + +One night, not long after I was first introduced there, for that +purpose, and within the first twelve months of my wearing the veil, +having retired as usual, at about half-past nine, not long after we had +got into bed, the alarm-bell from without, which hangs over the +Superior's bed, was rung. She told me to see who was there; and going +down, I heard the signal given, which I have before mentioned, a +peculiar kind of hissing sound made through the teeth. I answered with a +low, "Hum-hum;" and then opened the door. It was Bishop Lartigue, the +present Bishop of Montreal. He said to me, "Are you a Novice or a +Received?" meaning a Received nun. I answered a "Received." + +He then requested me to conduct him to the Superior's room, which I did. +He went to the bed, drew the curtains behind him, and I lay down again +upon the sofa, until morning, when the Superior called me, at an early +hour, about daylight, and directed me to show him the door, to which I +conducted him, and he took his departure. + +I continued to visit the cellar frequently, to carry up coal for the +fires, without anything more than a general impression that there were +two nuns, somewhere imprisoned in it. One day while there on my usual +errand, I saw a nun standing on the right of the cellar, in front of one +of the cell doors I had before observed; she was apparently engaged with +something within. This attracted my attention. The door appeared to +close in a small recess, and was fastened with a stout iron bolt on the +outside, the end of which was secured by being let into a hole in the +stone-work which formed the posts. The door, which was of wood, was sank +a few inches beyond the stone-work, rose and formed an arch overhead. +Above the bolt was a window supplied with a fine grating, which swung +open, a small bolt having been removed from it, on the outside. The nun +I had observed seemed to be whispering with some person within, through +the little window: but I hastened to get my coal, and left the cellar, +presuming that was the prison. When I visited the place again, being +alone, I ventured to the spot, determined to learn the truth, presuming +that the imprisoned nuns, of whom the Superior had told me on my +admission, were confined there. I spoke at the window where I had seen +the nun standing, and heard a voice reply in a whisper. The aperture was +so small, and the place so dark, that I could see nobody; but I learnt +that a poor wretch was confined there a prisoner. I feared that I might +be discovered, and after a few words, which I thought could do no harm, +I withdrew. + +My curiosity was now alive, to learn every thing I could about so +mysterious a subject. I made a few inquiries of Saint Xavier, who only +informed me that they were punished for refusing to obey the Superior, +Bishop, and Priests. I afterward found that the other nuns were +acquainted with the fact I had just discovered. All I could learn, +however, was, that the prisoner in the cell whom I had spoken with, and +another in the cell just beyond, had been confined there several years +without having been taken out; but their names, connexions, offences, +and everything else relating to them, I could never learn, and am still +as ignorant of as ever. Some conjectured that they had refused to comply +with some of the rules of the Convent or requisitions of the Superior; +others, that they were heiresses whose property was desired for the +convent, and who would not consent to sign deeds of it. Some of the nuns +informed me, that the severest of their sufferings arose from fear of +supernatural beings. + +I often spoke with one of them in passing near their cells, when on +errands in the cellar, but never ventured to stop long, or to press my +inquiries very far. Besides, I found her reserved, and little disposed +to converse freely, a thing I could not wonder at when I considered her +situation, and the characters of persons around her. She spoke like a +woman in feeble health, and of broken spirits. I occasionally saw other +nuns speaking to them, particularly at mealtimes, when they were +regularly furnished with food, which was such as we ourselves ate. + +Their cells were occasionally cleaned and then the doors were opened. I +never looked into them, but was informed that the ground was their only +floor. I presumed that they were furnished with straw to lie upon, as I +always saw a quantity of old straw scattered about that part of the +cellar, after the cells had been cleansed. I once inquired of one of +them, whether they could converse together, and she replied that they +could, through a small opening between their cells, which I could not +see. + +I once inquired of the one I spoke with in passing, whether she wanted +anything, and she replied, "Tell Jane Ray I want to see her a moment if +she can slip away." When I went up I took an opportunity to deliver my +message to Jane, who concerted with me a signal to be used in future, in +case a similar request should be made through me. This was a sly wink at +her with one eye, accompanied with a slight toss of my head. She then +sought an opportunity to visit the cellar, and was soon able to hold an +interview with the poor prisoners, without being noticed by any one but +myself. I afterward learnt that mad Jane Ray was not so mad, but she +could feel for those miserable beings, and carry through measures for +their comfort. She would often visit them with sympathizing words, and, +when necessary, conceal part of her food while at table, and secretly +convey it into their dungeons. Sometimes we would combine for such an +object; and I have repeatedly aided her in thus obtaining a larger +supply of food than they had been able to obtain from others. + +I frequently thought of the two nuns confined in the cells, and +occasionally heard something said about them, but very little. Whenever +I visited the cellar and thought it safe, I went up to the first of them +and spoke a word or two, and usually got some brief reply, without +ascertaining that any particular change took place with either of them. +The one with whom I ever conversed, spoke English perfectly well, and +French I thought as well. I supposed she must have been well educated, +for I could not tell which was her native language. I remember that she +frequently used these words when I wished to say more to her, and which +alone showed that she was constantly afraid of punishment: "Oh, there's +somebody coming--do go away!" I have been told that the other prisoner +also spoke English. + +It was impossible for me to form any certain opinion about the size or +appearance of those two miserable creatures, for their cells were +perfectly dark, and I never caught the slightest glimpse even of their +faces. It is probable they were women not above the middle size, and my +reason for this presumption is the following: I was sometimes appointed +to lay out the clean clothes for all the nuns in the Convent on Saturday +evening, and was always directed to lay by two suits for the prisoners. +Particular orders were given to select the largest sized garments for +several tall nuns; but nothing of the kind was ever said in relation to +the clothes for those in the cells. + +I had not been long a veiled nun, before I requested of the Superior +permission to confess to the "Saint Bon Pasteur," (Holy Good Shepherd,) +that is, the mysterious and nameless nun whom I had heard of while a +novice. I knew of several others who had confessed to her at different +times, and of some who had sent their clothes to be touched by her when +they were sick; and I felt a desire to unburden my heart of certain +things, which I was loath to acknowledge to the Superior, or any of the +priests. + +The Superior made me wait a little, until she could ascertain whether +the "Saint Bon Pasteur" was ready to admit me; and after a time +returned, and told me to enter the old nuns' room. That apartment has +twelve beds, arranged like the berths of a ship by threes; and as each +is broad enough to receive two persons, twenty-four may be lodged there, +which was about the number of old nuns in the Convent during the most of +my stay in it. Near an opposite corner of the apartment was a large +glass case, with no appearance of a door, or other opening, in any part +of it: and in that case stood the venerable nun, in the dress of the +community, with her thick veil spread over her face, so as to conceal it +entirely. She was standing, for the place did not allow room for +sitting, and moved a little, which was the only sign of life, as she did +not speak. I fell upon my knees before her, and began to confess some of +my imperfections, which lay heavy upon my mind, imploring her aid and +intercession, that I might be delivered from them. She appeared to +listen to me with patience, but still never returned a word in reply. I +became much affected as I went on, and at length began to weep bitterly; +and when I withdrew, was in tears. It seemed to me that my heart was +remarkably relieved after this exercise, and all the requests I had +made, I found, as I believed, strictly fulfilled. I often, afterward, +visited the old nuns' room for the same purpose, and with similar +results, so that my belief in the sanctity of the nameless nun, and my +regard for her intercession were unbounded. + +What is remarkable, though I repeatedly was sent into that A room to +dust it, or to put it in order, I remarked that the glass case was +vacant, and no signs were to be found either of the nun or of the way by +which she had left it; so that a solemn conclusion rested upon my mind, +that she had gone on one of her frequent visits to heaven. + +A priest would sometimes come in the daytime to teach us to sing, and +this was done with some parade or stir, as if it were considered, or +meant to be considered as a thing of importance. + +The instructions, however, were entirely repetitions of the words and +tunes, nothing being taught even of the first principles of the science. +It appeared to me, that although hymns alone were sung, the exercise was +chiefly designed for our amusement, to raise our spirits a little, which +were apt to become depressed. Mad Jane Ray certainly usually treated the +whole thing as a matter of sport, and often excited those of us who +understood English to a great degree of mirth. She had a very fine +voice, which was so powerful as generally to be heard above the rest. +Sometimes she would be silent when the other nuns began; I and the +Superior would often call out, "Jane Ray, you don't sing." She always +had some trifling excuse ready, and commonly appeared unwilling to join +the rest. After being urged or commanded by the Superior, she would then +strike up some English song, or profane parody, which was rendered ten +times more ridiculous by the ignorance of the Lady Superior and the +majority of the nuns. I cannot help laughing now when I remember how she +used to stand with perfect composure and sing, + + "I wish I was married and nothing to rue, + With plenty of money and nothing to do." + +"Jane Ray, you don't sing right," the Superior would exclaim. "Oh," she +would reply, with perfect coolness, "that is the English for, + + 'Seigneur Dieu de clemence, + Recois ce grand pecheur;'" + +and, as sung by her, a person ignorant of the language would naturally +be imposed upon. It was extremely difficult for me to conceal my +laughter. I have always had greater exertion to make in repressing it +than most other persons; and mad Jane Ray often took advantage of this. + +Saturday evening usually brought with it much unpleasant work for some +of us. We received the Sacrament every Sunday; and in preparation for +it, on Saturday evening we asked pardon of the Superior and of each +other "for the scandal we had caused since we last received the +Sacrament," and then asked the Superior's permission to receive it on +the following day. She inquired of each nun who necessarily asked her +permission, whether she, naming her as Saint somebody, had concealed any +sin that should hinder her from receiving it; and if the answer was in +the negative, she granted her permission. + +On Saturdays we were catechised by a priest, being assembled in a +community-room. He sat on the right of the door in a chair. He often +told us stories, and frequently enlarged on the duty enticing novices +into the nunnery. "Do you not feel" he would say, "now that you are +safely out of the world, sure of heaven? But remember how many poor +people are yet in the world. Every novice you influence to the black +veil, will add to your honour in heaven. Tell them how happy you are." + +The Superior played one trick while I was in the Convent, which always +passed for one of the most admirable she ever carried into execution. We +were pretty good judges in a case of this kind, for, as may be presumed, +we were rendered familiar with the arts of deception under so +accomplished a teacher. + +There was an ornament on hand in the nunnery, of an extraordinary kind, +which was prized at ten pounds; but it had been made and exposed to view +so long, that it became damaged and quite unsaleable. We were one day +visited by an old priest from the country, who was evidently somewhat +intoxicated; and as he withdrew to go to his lodgings, in the Seminary, +where the country priests often stay, the Superior conceived a plan for +disposing of the old ornament. "Come," said she, "we will send it to the +old priest, and swear he has bought it!" + +We all approved of the ingenious device, for it evidently might be +classed among the pious frauds we had so often had recommended to us +both by precept and example; and the ornament was sent to him the next +morning, as his property when paid for. He soon came to the Convent, and +expressed the greatest surprise that he had been charged with purchasing +such a thing, for which he had no need and no desire. + +The Superior heard this declaration with patience, but politely insisted +that it was a fair bargain; and we then surrounded the old priest, with +the strongest assertions that such was the fact, and that nobody would +ever have thought of his purchasing it unless he had expressly engaged +to take it. The poor old man was entirely put down. He was certain of +the truth: but what could he do: resist or disprove a direct falsehood +pronounced by the Superior of a Convent, and sworn to by all her holy +nuns? He finally expressed his conviction that we were right: he was +compelled to pay his money. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy Retreat-- +Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract Conscience--Ingenious +Arguments. + + +Some of the priests from the Seminary were in the nunnery every day and +night, and often several at a time. I have seen nearly all of them at +different times, though there are about one hundred and fifty in the +district of Montreal. There was a difference in their conduct; though I +believe every one of them was guilty of licentiousness; while not one +did I ever see who maintained a character any way becoming the +profession of a priest. Some were gross and degraded in a degree which +few of my readers can ever have imagined; and I should be unwilling to +offend the eye, and corrupt the heart of any one, by an account of their +words and actions. Few imaginations can conceive deeds so abominable as +they practised, and often required of some of the poor women, under the +fear of severe punishments, and even of death. I do not hesitate to say +with the strongest confidence, that although some of the nuns became +lost to every sentiment of virtue and honour, especially one from the +Congregational Nunnery whom I have before mentioned, Saint Patrick, the +greater part of them loathed the practices to which they were compelled +to submit by the Superior and priests, who kept them under so dreadful a +bondage. + +Some of the priests whom I saw I never knew by name, and the names of +others I did not learn for a time, and at last only by accident. + +They were always called "Mon pere," my father; but sometimes, when they +had purchased something in the ornament-room, they would give their real +names, with directions where it should be sent. Many names, thus learnt, +and in other ways, were whispered about from nun to nun, and became +pretty generally known. Several of the priests, some of us had seen +before we entered the Convent. + +Many things of which I speak, from the nature of the case, must +necessarily rest chiefly upon my own word, until further evidence can be +obtained: but there are some facts for which I can appeal to the +knowledge of others. It is commonly known in Montreal that some of the +priests occasionally withdraw from their customary employments, and are +not to be seen for some time, it being understood that they have retired +for religious study, meditation and devotion, for the improvement of +their hearts. Sometimes they are thus withdrawn from the world for +weeks: but there is no fixed period. + +This was a fact I knew before I took the veil; for it is a frequent +subject of remark, that such or such a Father is on a "holy retreat." +This is a term which conveys the idea of a religious seclusion from the +world for sacred purposes. On the re-appearance of the priest after such +a period, in the church or the streets, it is natural to feel a peculiar +impression of his devout character--an impression very different from +that conveyed to the mind of one who knows matters as they really are. +Suspicions have been indulged by some in Canada on this subject, and +facts are known by at least a few. I am able to speak from personal +knowledge: for I have been a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise. + +The priests are liable, by their dissolute habits, to occasional attacks +of disease, which render it necessary, or at least prudent, to submit to +medical treatment. + +In the Black Nunnery they find private accommodations, for they are free +to enter one of the private hospitals whenever they please; which is a +room set apart on purpose for the accommodation of the priests, and is +called a retreat-room. But an excuse is necessary to blind the public, +and this they find is the pretence that they make of being in a "Holy +Retreat." Many such cases I have known; and I can mention the names of +priests who have been confined in this Holy Retreat. They are very +carefully attended by the Superior and old nuns, and their diet mostly +consists of vegetable soups, &c., with but little meat, and that fresh. +I have seen an instrument of surgery laying upon the table in that holy +room, which is used only for particular purposes. + +Father Tabeau, a Roman priest, was on one of his holy retreats about the +time when I left the nunnery. There are sometimes a number confined +there at the same time. The victims of these priests frequently share +the same fate. + +I have often reflected how grievously I had been deceived in my opinion +of a nun's condition! All the holiness of their lives, I now saw, was +merely pretended. The appearance of sanctity and heavenly mindedness +which they had shown among us novices, I found was only a disguise to +conceal such practices as would not be tolerated in any decent society +in the world; and as for peace and joy like that of heaven, which I had +expected to find among them, I learnt too well that they did not exist +there. + +The only way in which such thoughts were counteracted, was by the +constant instructions given us by the Superior and priests, to regard +every doubt as a mortal sin. Other faults we might have, as we were told +over and over again, which, though worthy of penances, were far less +sinful than these. For a nun to doubt that she was doing her duty in +fulfilling her vows and oaths, was a heinous offence, and we were +exhorted always to suppress our doubts, to confess them without reserve, +and cheerfully to submit to severe penances on account of them, as the +only means of mortifying our evil dispositions, and resisting the +temptations of the devil. Thus we learnt in a good degree to resist our +minds and consciences, when we felt the first rising of a question about +the duty of doing any thing required of us. + +To enforce this upon us, they employed various means. Some of the most +striking stories told us at catechism by the priests, were designed for +this end. One of these, I will repeat. One day, as a priest assured us +who was hearing us say the catechism on Saturday afternoon, as one +Monsieur ----, a well-known citizen of Montreal, was walking near the +cathedral, he saw Satan giving orders to numerous evil spirits who had +assembled around him. Being afraid of being seen, and yet wishing to +observe what was done, he hid himself where he could observe all that +passed. Satan despatched his devils to different parts of the city, with +directions to do their best for him; and they returned in a short time, +bringing in reports of their success in leading persons of different +classes to the commission of various sins, which they thought would be +agreeable to their master. Satan, however, expressed his +dissatisfaction, and ordered them out again; but just then a spirit from +the Black Nunnery came, who had not been seen before, and stated that he +had been trying for seven years to persuade one of the nuns to doubt, +and had just succeeded. Satan received the intelligence with the highest +pleasure; and turning to the spirits around him, said: "You have not +half done your work--he has done much more than all of you." + +In spite, however, of our instructions and warnings, our fears and +penances, such doubts would intrude; and I have often indulged them for +a time, and at length, yielding to the belief that I was wrong in giving +place to them, would confess them, and undergo with cheerfulness such +new penances as I was loaded with. Others too would occasionally +entertain and privately express such doubts; though we all had been most +solemnly warned by the cruel murder of Saint Francis. Occasionally some +of the nuns would go further, and resist the restraints or punishments +imposed upon them; and it was not uncommon to hear screams, sometimes of +a most piercing and terrific kind, from nuns suffering under discipline. + +Some of my readers may feel disposed to exclaim against me, for +believing things, which will strike them as so monstrous and abominable. +To such, I would say, without pretending to justify myself--You know +little of the position in which I was placed: in the first place, +ignorant of any other religions doctrines; and in the second, met at +every moment by some ingenious argument, and the example of a large +community, who received all the instructions of the priests as of +undoubted truth, and practised upon them. Of the variety and +speciousness of the arguments used, you cannot have any correct idea. +They were often so ready with replies, examples, anecdotes and +authorities, to enforce their doctrines, that it seemed to me they could +never have learnt it all from books, but must have been taught by wicked +spirits. Indeed, when I reflect upon their conversations, I am +astonished at their art and address, and find it difficult to account +for their subtlety and success in influencing my mind, and persuading me +to anything they pleased. It seems to me, that hardly anybody would be +safe in their hands. If you were to go to confession twice, I believe +you would feel very differently from what you do now. They have such a +way of avoiding one thing, and speaking of another, of affirming this, +and doubting or disputing that, of quoting authorities, and speaking of +wonders and miracles recently performed, in confirmation of what they +teach, as familiarly known to persons whom they call by name, and whom +they pretend to offer as witnesses, though they never give you an +opportunity to speak with them--these, and many other means, they use in +such away, that they always blinded my mind, and I should think, would +blind the minds of others. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in Sleep--Amusements +--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased Nuns--Sudden +disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new one-- +Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with other +Nuns. + + +It will be recollected, that I was informed immediately after receiving +the veil, that infants were occasionally murdered in the Convent. I was +one day in the nuns' private sick room, when I had an opportunity, +unsought for, of witnessing deeds of such a nature. It was, perhaps, a +month after the death of Saint Francis. Two little twin babes, the +children of Sainte Catharine, were brought to a priest, who was in the +room, for baptism. I was present while the ceremony was performed, with +the Superior and several of the old nuns, whose names I never knew, they +being called Ma tante, Aunt. + +The priests took turns in attending to confession and catechism in the +Convent, usually three months at a time, though sometimes longer +periods. The priest then on duty was Father Larkin. He is a good-looking +European, and has a brother who is a professor in the college. He +baptized, and then put oil upon the heads of the infants, as is the +custom after baptism. They were then taken, one after another, by one of +the old nuns, in the presence of us all. She pressed her hand upon the +mouth and nose of the first, so tight that it could not breathe, and in +a few minutes, when the hand was removed, it was dead. She then took the +other, and treated it in the same way. No sound was heard, and both the +children were corpses. The greatest indifference was shown by all +present during this operation; for all, as I well knew, were long +accustomed to such scenes. The little bodies were then taken into the +cellar, thrown into the pit I have mentioned, and covered with a +quantity of lime. + +I afterward saw another new-born infant treated in the same manner, in +the same place; but the actors in the scene I choose not to name, nor +the circumstances, as everything connected with it is of a peculiarly +trying and painful nature to my own feelings. + +These were the only instances of infanticide I witnessed; and it seemed +to be merely owing to accident that I was then present. So far as I +know, there were no pains taken to preserve secrecy on this subject; +that is, I saw no attempt made to keep any of the inmates of the Convent +in ignorance of the murder of children. On the contrary, others were +told, as well as myself, on their first admission as veiled nuns, that +all infants born in the place were baptized and killed, without loss of +time; and I had been called to witness the murder of the three just +mentioned, only because I happened to be in the room at the time. + +That others were killed in the same manner during my stay in the +nunnery, I am well assured. + +How many there were I cannot tell, and having taken no account of those +I heard of, I cannot speak with precision; I believe, however, that I +learnt through nuns, that at least eighteen or twenty infants were +smothered, and secretly buried in the cellar, while I was a nun. + +One of the effects of the weariness of our bodies and minds, was our +proneness to talk in our sleep. It was both ludicrous and painful to +hear the nuns repeat their prayers in the course of the night, as they +frequently did in their dreams. Required to keep our minds continually +on the stretch, both in watching our conduct, in remembering the rules +and our prayers, under the fear of the consequences of any neglect, when +we closed our eyes in sleep, we often went over again the scenes of the +day; and it was no uncommon thing for me to hear a nun repeat one or two +of our long exercises in the dead of night. Sometimes, by the time she +had finished, another, in a different part of the room, would happen to +take a similar turn, and commence a similar recitation; and I have known +cases in which several such unconscious exercises were performed, all +within an hour or two. + +We had now and then a recreation day, when we were relieved from our +customary labor, and from all prayers except those for morning and +evening. The greater part of our time was then occupied with different +games, particularly backgammon and drafts, and in such conversation as +did not relate to our past lives, and the outside of the Convent. +Sometimes, however, our sports would be interrupted on such days by the +entrance of one of the priests, who would come in and propose that his +fete, the birth-day of his patron saint, should be kept by "the saints." +We saints! + +Several nuns died at different times while I was in the Convent; how +many I cannot say, but there was a considerable number: I might rather +say, many in proportion to the number in the nunnery. The proportion of +deaths I am sure was very large. There were always some in the nuns' +sick-rooms, and several interments took place in the chapel. When a +Black nun is dead, the corpse is dressed as if living, and placed in the +chapel in a sitting posture, within the railing round the altar, with a +book in the hand, as if reading. Persons are then freely admitted from +the street, and some of them kneel and pray before it. No particular +notoriety is given, I believe, to this exhibition out of the Convent; +but such a case usually excites some attention. + +The living nuns are required to say prayers for the delivery of their +deceased sister from purgatory, being informed, as in all other such +cases, that if she is not there, and has no need of our intercession, +our prayers are in no danger of being thrown away, as they will be set +down to the account of some of our departed friends, or at least to that +of the souls which have no acquaintances to pray for them. + +It was customary for us occasionally to kneel before a dead nun thus +seated in the chapel, and I have often performed that task. It was +always painful, for the ghastly countenance being seen whenever I raised +my eyes, and the feeling that the position and dress were entirely +opposed to every idea of propriety in such a case, always made me +melancholy. + +The Superior sometimes left the Convent, and was absent for an hour, or +several hours, at a time, but we never knew of it until she had +returned, and were not informed where she had been. I one day had reason +to presume that she had recently paid a visit to the priests' farm, +though I had no direct evidence that such was the fact. The priests' +farm is a fine tract of land belonging to the Seminary, a little +distance from the city, near the Lachine road, with a large old- +fashioned edifice upon it. I happened to be in the Superior's room on +the day alluded to, when she made some remark on the plainness and +poverty of her furniture. I replied, that she was not proud, and could +not be dissatisfied on that account; she answered-- + +"No; but if I was, how much superior is the furniture at the priests' +farm! the poorest room there is furnished better than the best of mine." + +I was one day mending the fire in the Superior's room, when a priest was +conversing with her on the scarcity of money; and I heard him say, that +very little money was received by the priests for prayers, but that the +principal part came with penances and absolutions. + +One of the most remarkable and unaccountable things that happened in the +Convent, was the disappearance of the old Superior. She had performed +her customary part during the day, and had acted and appeared just as +usual. She had shown no symptoms of ill health, met with no particular +difficulty in conducting business, and no agitation, anxiety or gloom, +had been noticed in her conduct. We had no reason to suppose that during +that day she had expected anything particular to occur, any more than +the rest of us. After the close of our customary labours, and evening +lecture, she dismissed us to retire to bed, exactly in her usual manner. +The next morning the bell rung we sprang from our bed, hurried on our +clothes as usual, and proceeded to the community-room in double line, to +commence the morning exercises. There, to our surprise, we found Bishop +Lartigue; but the Superior was nowhere to be seen. The Bishop soon +addressed us, instead of her, and informed us, that a lady near him, +whom he presented to us, was now the Superior of the Convent, and +enjoined upon us the same respect and obedience which we had paid to her +predecessor. + +The lady he introduced to us was one of our oldest nuns, Saint Du ----, +a very large, fleshy woman, with swelled limbs, which rendered her very +slow in walking, and often gave her great distress. Not a word was +dropped from which we could conjecture the cause of this change, nor of +the fate of the old Superior. I took the first opportunity to inquire of +one of the nuns, whom I dared talk to, what had become of her; but I +found them as ignorant as myself, though suspicious that she had been +murdered by the orders of the Bishop. Never did I obtain any light on +her mysterious disappearance. I am confident, however, that if the +Bishop wished to get rid of her privately and by foul means, he had +ample opportunities and power at his command. Jane Ray, as usual, could +not allow such an occurrence to pass by without intimating her own +suspicions more plainly than any other of the nuns would have dared to +do. She spoke out one day, in the community-room, and said, "I'm going +to have a hunt in the cellar for my old Superior." + +"Hush, Jane Ray!" exclaimed some of the nuns, "you'll be punished." + +"My mother used to tell me," replied Jane, "never to be afraid of the +face of a man." + +It cannot be thought strange that we were superstitious. Some were more +easily terrified than others, by unaccountable sights and sounds; but +all of us believed in the power and occasional appearance of spirits, +and were ready to look for them at almost any time. I have seen several +instances of alarm caused by such superstition, and have experienced it +myself more than once. I was one day sitting mending aprons, beside one +of the old nuns, in a community-room, while the litanies were repeating; +as I was very easy to laugh, Saint Ignace or Agnes, came in, walked up +to her with much agitation, and began to whisper in her ear. She usually +talked but little, and that made me more curious to know what was the +matter with her. I overheard her say to the old nun, in much alarm, that +in the cellar from which she had just returned, she had heard the most +dreadful groans that ever came from any being. This was enough to give +me uneasiness. I could not account for the appearance of an evil spirit +in any part of the Convent, for I had been assured that the only one +ever known there, was that of the nun who had died with an unconfessed +sin, and that others were kept at a distance by the holy water that was +rather profusely used in different parts of the nunnery. Still, I +presumed that the sounds heard by Saint Ignace must have proceeded from +some devil, and I felt great dread at the thought of visiting the cellar +again. I determined to seek further information of the terrified nun; +but when I addressed her on the subject, at recreation-time, the first +opportunity I could find, she replied, that I was always trying to make +her break silence, and walked off to another group in the room, so that +I could obtain no satisfaction. + +It is remarkable that in our nunnery, we were almost entirely cut off +from the means of knowing anything, even of each other. There were many +nuns whom I know nothing of to this day, after having been in the same +rooms with them every day and night for many months. There was a nun, +whom I supposed to be in the Convent, and whom I was anxious to learn +something about from the time of my entrance as a novice; but I never +was able to learn anything concerning her, not even whether she was in +the nunnery or not, whether alive or dead. She was the daughter of a +rich family, residing at Point aux Trembles, of whom I had heard my +mother speak before I entered the Convent. The name of her family I +think was Lafayette, and she was thought to be from Europe. She was +known to have taken the black veil; but as I was not acquainted with the +name of the Saint she had assumed, and I could not describe her in "the +world," all my inquiries and observations proved entirely in vain. I had +heard before my entrance into the Convent, that one of the nuns had made +her escape from it during the last war, and, once inquired about her of +the Superior. She admitted that such was the fact; but I was never able +to learn any particulars concerning her name, origin, or manner of +escape. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupation in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of Wax Candles--The Election Riots-- +Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances. + + +I am unable to say how many nuns disappeared while I was in the Convent. +There were several. One was a young lady called St. Pierre, I think, but +am not certain of her name. There were two nuns by this name. I had +known her as a novice with me. She had been a novice about two years and +a half before I became one. She was rather large without being tall and +had rather dark hair and eyes. She disappeared unaccountably, and +nothing was said of her except what I heard in whispers from a few of +the nuns, as we found moments when we could speak unobserved. + +Some told me they thought she must have left the Convent; and I might +have supposed so, had I not some time afterward found some of her things +lying about, which she would, in such a case, doubtless have taken with +her. I never had known any thing more of her than what I could observe +or conjecture. I had always, however, the idea that her parents or +friends were wealthy, for she sometimes received clothes and other +things, which were very rich. + +Another nun, named Saint Paul, died suddenly; but as in other cases, we +knew so little, or rather were so entirely ignorant of the cause and +circumstances that we could only conjecture; and being forbidden to +converse freely on that or any other subject, thought but little about +it. I have mentioned that a number of veiled nuns thus mysteriously +disappeared during my residence among them. I cannot, perhaps, recall +them all, but I am confident there were as many as five, and I think +more. All that we knew in such cases was, that one of our number who had +appeared as usual when last observed, was nowhere to be seen, and never +was again. Mad Jane Ray, on several such occasions, would indulge in her +bold, and, as we thought, dangerous remarks. She had intimated that some +of those, who had been for a time in the Convent, were by some means +removed to make way for new ones; and it was generally the fact, that +the disappearance of one and the introduction of another into our +community, were nearly at the same time. I have repeatedly heard Jane +Ray say, with one of her significant looks, "When you appear, somebody +else disappears!" + +It is unpleasant enough to distress or torture one's self; but there is +something worse in being tormented by others, especially where they +resort to force, and show a pleasure in compelling you, and leave you no +hope of escape, or opportunity to resist. I had seen the gags repeatedly +in use, and sometimes applied with a roughness which seemed rather +inhuman; but it is one thing to see and another thing to feel. There +were some of the old nuns who seemed to take pleasure in oppressing +those who fell under their displeasure. They were ready to recommend or +resort to compulsory measures, and ever ready to run for the gags. These +were kept in one of the community-rooms, in a drawer between two +closets; and there a stock of about fifty of them was always in +deposite. Sometimes a number of nuns would prove refractory at a time; +and I have seen battles commenced in which several appeared on both +sides. The disobedient were, however, soon overpowered: and to prevent +their screams from being heard beyond the walls, gagging commenced +immediately. I have seen half a dozen lying, gagged and bound at once. + +I have been subjected to the same state of involuntary silence more than +once; for sometimes I became excited to a state of desperation by the +measures used against me, and then conducted in a manner perhaps not +less violent than some others. My hands had been tied behind me, and a +gag put into my mouth, sometimes with such force and rudeness as to +lacerate my lips and cause the blood to flow freely. + +Treatment of this kind is apt to teach submission, and many times I have +acquiesced under orders received, or wishes expressed, with a fear of a +recurrence to some severe measures. + +One day I had incurred the anger of the Superior in a greater degree +than usual, and it was ordered that I should be taken to one of the +cells. I was taken by some of the nuns, bound and gagged, carried down +the stairs in the cellar, and laid upon the floor. Not long afterward I +induced one of the nuns to request the Superior to come down and see me; +and on making some acknowledgment I was released. I will, however, +relate this story rather more in detail. + +On that day I had been engaged with Jane Ray, in carrying into effect a +plan of revenge upon another person, when I fell under the vindictive +spirit of some of the old nuns, and suffered severely. The Superior +ordered me to the cells, and a scene of violence commenced which I will +not attempt to describe, nor the precise circumstances which led to it. +Suffice it to say, that after exhausting my strength, by resisting as +long as I could against several nuns, I had my hands drawn behind my +back, a leathern band passed first round my thumbs, then round my hands, +and then round my waist, and fastened. This was drawn so tight that it +cut through the flesh of my thumbs, making wounds, the scars of which +still remain. A gag was then forced into my mouth, not indeed so +violently as it sometimes was, but roughly enough; after which I was +taken by main force, and carried down into the cellar, across it almost +to the opposite extremity, and brought to the last of the second range +of cells on the left hand. The door was opened, and I was thrown in with +violence, and left alone, the door being immediately closed and bolted +on the outside. The bare ground was under me, cold and hard as if it had +been beaten down even. I lay still, in the position in which I had +fallen, as it would have been difficult for me to move, confined as I +was, and exhausted by my exertions; and the shock of my fall, and my +wretched state of desperation and fear, disinclined me from any further +attempt. I was in almost total darkness, there being nothing perceptible +except a slight glimmer of light which came in through the little window +far above me. + +How long I remained in that condition I can only conjecture. It seemed +to me a long time, and must have been two or three hours. I did not +move, expecting to die there, and in a state of distress which I cannot +describe, from the tight bandage about my hands, and the gag holding my +jaws apart at their greatest extension. I am confident I must have died +before morning, if, as I then expected, I had been left there all night. +By-and-by, however, the bolt was drawn, the door opened, and Jane Ray +spoke to me in a tone of kindness. She had taken an opportunity to slip +into the cellar unnoticed on purpose to see me. She unbound the gag, and +took it out of my mouth, and told me she would do any thing to get me +out of my dungeon. If she had had the bringing of me down, she would not +have thrust me so brutally, and she would be revenged on those who had. +She offered to throw herself upon her knees before the Superior and beg +her forgiveness. To this I would not consent; but told her to ask the +Superior to come to me, as I wished to speak to her. This I had no idea +she would condescend to do; but Jane had not been gone long before the +Superior came, and asked if I had repented in the sight of God for what +I had done. I replied in the affirmative; and after a lecture of some +length on the pain I had given the Virgin Mary by my conduct, she asked +whether I was willing to ask pardon of all the nuns for the scandal I +had caused them by my behaviour. To this I made no objection; and I was +then released from my prison and my bonds, went up to the community- +room, and kneeling before all the sisters in succession begged the +forgiveness and prayers of each. + +Among the marks which I still bear of the wounds received from penances +and violence, are the scars left by the belt with which I repeatedly +tortured myself, for the mortification of my spirit. These are most +distinct on my side; for although the band, which was four or five +inches in breadth, and extended round the waist, was stuck full of sharp +iron points in all parts, it was sometimes crowded most against my side, +by rocking in my chair, and the wounds were usually deeper there than +anywhere else. + +My thumbs were several times cut severely by the tight drawing of the +band used to confine my arms, and the scars are still visible upon them. + +The rough gagging which I several times endured wounded my lips very +much; for it was common, in that operation, to thrust the gag hard +against the teeth, and catch one or both the lips, which were sometimes +cut. The object was to stop the screams made by the offender as soon as +possible; and some of the old nuns delighted in tormenting us. A gag was +once forced into my mouth which had a large splinter upon it, and this +cut through my under lip, in front, leaving to this day a scar about +half an inch long. The same lip was several times wounded, as well as +the other; but one day worse than ever, when a narrow piece was cut off +from the left side of it, by being pinched between the gag and the under +fore-teeth; and this has left an inequality in it which is still very +observable. + +One of the most shocking stories I heard of events that had occurred in +the nunnery before my acquaintance with it, was the following, which was +told me by Jane. What is uncommon, I can fix the date when I heard it. +It was on New-Year's day, 1834. The ceremonies, customary in the early +part of that day, had been performed; after mass, in the morning, the +Superior had shaken hands with all the nuns, and given us her blessing, +for she was said to have received power from heaven to do so only once a +year, and then on the first day of the year. Besides this, cakes, +raisins, &c. are distributed to the nuns on that day. + +While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the +cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation +with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our +practice often was, to take places there beside one of the old nuns, +awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while and leave us +partially screened from the observation of others. On that occasion, +Jane and I were left for a time alone; when after some discourse on +suicide, she remarked, that three nuns once killed themselves in the +Convent. This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I +knew, therefore, that it was several years before, for she had been +received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young +ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same +time, I am not certain which. I know they have four robes in the +Convent, to be worn during the ceremony of taking the veil; but I have +never seen more than one of them used at a time. + +Two of the new nuns were sisters, and the other their cousin. They had +been received but a few days, when information was given one morning +that they had been found dead in their beds, amid a profusion of blood. +Jane Ray said, she saw their corpses, and that they appeared to have +killed themselves, by opening veins in their arms with a knife they had +obtained, and all had bled to death together. What was extraordinary, +Jane Ray added, that she had heard no noise, and that she believed +nobody had suspected that any thing was wrong during the night. Saint +Hypolite, however, had stated, that she found them in the morning, after +the other nuns had gone to prayers, lying lifeless in their beds. + +For some reason or other, their death was not made public; but their +bodies, instead of being exhibited in full dress in the chapel, and +afterward interred with solemnity beneath it, were taken unceremoniously +into the cellar, and thrown into the hole I have so often mentioned. + +There were a few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing +that was happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not +extend out of the city. I can recall but three occasions of this kind. +Two of them were when the cholera prevailed in Montreal; and the other +was the election riots. The appearance of the cholera, in both seasons +of its ravages, gave us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more +borne down by hard labor at those times, than ever before or afterward +during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax +candles would afford protection from the disease, because so long as any +person continued to burn one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for him. +No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance in +Montreal, than a long wax candle was lighted in the Convent for each of +the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially +illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were kept +constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured by +the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been +promulgated in the Grey Nunnery, the Congregational Nunnery, and to +Catholics at large, through the pulpits, an extraordinary demand was +created for wax candles, to supply which we were principally depended +upon. All who could be employed in making them were therefore set at +work, and I among the rest, assisted in different departments, and +witnessed all. + +Numbers of the nuns had been long familiar with the business; for a very +considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the +Convent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in +a great degree laid aside. Large quantities of wax were received in the +building, which was said to have been imported from England; kettles +were placed in some of the working-rooms, in which it was clarified by +heat over coal fires, and when prepared, the process of dipping +commenced. The wicks which were quite long, were placed hanging upon a +reel, taken up and dipped in succession, until, after many slow +revolutions of the reel, the candles were of the proper size. They were +then taken to a part of the room where tables were prepared for rolling +them smooth. This is done by passing a roller over them, until they +became even and polished, after which they are laid by for sale. These +processes caused a constant bustle in several of the rooms; and the +melancholy reports from without, of the ravages of the cholera, with the +uncertainty of what might be the result with us, notwithstanding the +promised intercession of the Virgin, and the brilliant lights constantly +burning in such numbers around us, impressed the scenes I used to +witness very deeply on my mind. I had very little doubt myself of the +strict truth of the story we had heard of the security conferred upon +those who burnt candles, and yet I sometimes had serious fears arise in +my mind. These thoughts, however, I did my utmost to regard as great +sins, and evidences of my own want of faith. + +It was during that period that I formed a partial acquaintance with +several Grey nuns, who used to come frequently for supplies of candles +for their Convent. I had no opportunity to converse with them, except so +far as the purchase and sale of the articles they required. I became +familiar with their countenances and appearances, but was unable to +judge of their characters or feelings. Concerning the rules and habits +prevailing in the Grey Nunnery; I therefore remained as ignorant as if I +had been a thousand miles off; and they had no better opportunity to +learn anything of us beyond what they could see around them in the room +where the candles were sold. + +We supplied the Congregational Nunnery also with wax candles, as I +before remarked; and in both those institutions, it was understood a +constant illumination was kept up. Citizens were also frequently running +in to buy candles, in great and small quantities, so that the business +of storekeeping was far more laborious than common. + +We were confirmed in our faith in the intercession of the Virgin, when +we found that we remained safe from the cholera; and it is a remarkable +fact, that not one case of that disease existed in the nunnery, during +either of the seasons in which it proved so fatal in the city. + +When the election riots prevailed in Montreal, the city was thrown into +general alarm; we heard some reports, from day to day, which made us +anxious for ourselves. Nothing, however, gave me any serious thoughts +until I saw uncommon movements in some parts of the nunnery, and +ascertained, to my own satisfaction, that there was a large quantity of +gunpowder stored in some secret place within the walls, and that some of +it was removed, or prepared for use, under the direction of the +Superior. + +I have mentioned several penances, in different parts of this narrative, +which we sometimes had to perform. There is a great variety of them; +and, while some, though trifling in appearance, became very painful, by +long endurance, or frequent repetition; others are severe in their +nature, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of something +worse, or a real belief in efficacy to remove guilt. I will mention here +such as I recollect, which can be named without offending a virtuous +ear; for some there were, which, although I have been compelled to +submit to, either by misled conscience, or the fear of severe +punishments, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, and at +liberty to act, I would not mention or describe. + +Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the +feet of the other nuns, is another: as are kneeling on hard peas, and +walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees +through the subterranean passage, leading to the Congregational Nunnery; +and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. Sometimes we +were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic was given to +me on this account, because I had a strong antipathy against it. Eels +were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt an unconquerable +repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard of their feeding +on dead carcasses, in the river St. Lawrence. It was no uncommon thing +for us to be required to drink the water in which the Superior had +washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand ourselves with a +hot iron, so as to leave scars; at other times to whip our naked flesh +with several small rods, before a private altar, until we drew blood. I +can assert, with the perfect knowledge of the fact, that many of the +nuns bear the scars of these wounds. + +One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms +extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The _Chemin de la +Croix_, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it +consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repetition of many +prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform +frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in +succession, at each time commemorating some particular act or +circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to the place of his +crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the +winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet; and sometimes to chew a +piece of window-glass to a fine powder, in the presence of the Superior. + +We had sometimes to wear leathern belts stuck full of sharp metallic +points round our waists, and the upper part of our arms, bound on so +tight that they penetrated the flesh, and drew blood. + +Some of the penances was so severe, that they seemed too much to be +endured; and when they were imposed, the nuns who were to suffer them, +sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would often resist, +and still oftener express their opposition by exclamations and screams. + +Never, however, was any noise heard from them, for a long time for there +was a remedy always ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The gag +which was put into the month of the unfortunate Saint Francis, had been +brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of +different shapes and sizes. These I have seen in their depository, which +is a drawer between two closets, in one of the community-rooms. Whenever +any loud noise was made, one of these instruments was demanded, and +gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many instances, and +sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes they would become +so much excited before they could be bound and gagged, that considerable +force was necessary to be exerted; and I have seen the blood flowing +from months into which the gag had been thrust with violence. + +Indeed I ought to know something on this department of nunnery +discipline: I have had it tried upon myself, and I can bear witness that +it is not only most humiliating and oppressive, but often extremely +painful. The month is kept forced open, and the straining of the jaws at +their utmost stretch, for a considerable time, is very distressing. + +One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with a +cap; and yet some of the old nuns were permitted to inflict it at their +pleasure. I have repeatedly known them to go for a cap, when one of our +number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very +unimportant one. These caps were kept in a cupboard in the old nuns' +room, whence they were brought when wanted. + +They were small, made of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to +the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the +common practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her before the cap +was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by any +for one moment, without throwing them into severe sufferings. If +permitted, they would scream in a most shocking manner; and they always +writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can speak from +personal knowledge of this punishment, as I have endured it more than +once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined +one of the caps, nor saw the inside, for they are always brought and +taken away quickly; but although the first sensation was that of +coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and +indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more +insupportable; and this continued until it was removed. It would produce +such an acute pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think no human +being could endure it for an hour. After this punishment we felt its +effects through the system for many days. Having once known what it was +by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was condemned to +suffer the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to avoid it. But +when tied and gagged, with the cap on my head again, I could only sink +upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was taken off. + +This was usually done in about ten minutes, sometimes less, but the pain +always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it might +take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I had not +been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I have felt +the effects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were applied to +my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine my head, I +cannot say more. + +This punishment was occasionally resorted to for very trifling offences, +such as washing the hands without permission; and it was generally +applied on the spot, and before the other nuns in the community-room. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging. + + +I have mentioned before, that the country, as far down as Three Rivers, +is furnished with priests by the Seminary of Montreal; and that these +hundred and fifty men are liable to be occasionally transferred from one +station to another. Numbers of them are often to be seen in the streets +of Montreal, as they may find a home in the Seminary. + +They are considered as haying an equal right to enter the Black Nunnery +whenever they please; and then, according to our oaths, they have +complete control over the nuns. To name all the works of shame of which +they are guilty in that retreat, would require much time and space, +neither would it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which +is, the publication of but some of their criminality to the world, and +the development, in general terms, of scenes thus far carried on in +secret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate. + +Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an +eyewitness would ever escape to tell of their crimes, and declare some +of their names before the world; but the time has come, and some of +their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the +nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country +places, admitted for shameful and criminal purposes: from St. Charles, +St. Denis, St. Mark's St. Antoine, Chambly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c. + +How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I make! Shut up in a +place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, and +that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in +perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their +criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly than +even the brutes. These debauchees would come in without ceremony, +concealing their names, both by night and by day, where the cries and +pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the +world, for relief or redress for their wrongs; without remorse or shame, +they would glory in torturing, in the most barbarous manner, the +feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that +this mortifying of the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God. + +We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary sufferings in a +variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A +priest would sometimes say to us-- + +"Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin +through your cheeks?" + +Some of us would signify our readiness, and immediately thrust one +through up to the head. Sometimes he would propose that we should repeat +the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a number of +nuns would be bloody. + +There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I +cannot name in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to +perform; many of them things not only useless, and unheard of, but +loathsome and indecent in the highest possible degree. How they could +ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse +than the entire exposure of the person, though this was occasionally +required of several at once, in the presence of priests. + +The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that he +had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who +possessed the greatest devotion and faith, should be requested to +perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our +presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to +speak. I cannot repeat what would injure any ear, not debased to the +lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to +confess, that deluded women were found among us, who would comply with +those requests. + +There was a great difference between the characters of our old and new +Superior, which soon became obvious. The former used to say she liked to +walk, because it would prevent her from becoming corpulent. She was, +therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the +nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employments. I never +saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, bold +and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, cruel and cold- +blooded, in scenes calculated to overcome any common person. Such a +character she had exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis. + +The new Superior, on the other hand, was so heavy and lame, that she +walked with much difficulty, and consequently exercised a less vigilant +oversight of the nuns. She was also of a timid disposition, or else had +been overcome by some great fright in her past life; for she was apt to +become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark. +She had long performed the part of an old nun, which is that of a spy +upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, under +the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the station of +Superior, she appointed me to sleep in her apartment, and assigned me a +sofa to lie upon. One night while, I was asleep, she suddenly threw +herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alarm, "Oh! mon Dieu! mon Dieu! +Qu'est que ca?" Oh, my God! my God! What is that? I jumped up and looked +about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured to convince her that +there was nothing extraordinary there. But she insisted that a ghost had +come and held her bed-curtain, so that she could not draw it. I examined +it, and found that the curtain had been caught by a pin in the valance, +which had held it back; but it was impossible to tranquillize her for +some time. She insisted on my sleeping with her the rest of the night, +and I stretched myself across the foot of her bed, and slept there till +morning. + +During the last part of my stay in the Convent, I was often employed in +attending in the hospitals. There are, as I have before mentioned, +several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a physician of +Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be +supposed, however, that he knows anything concerning the private +hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly understood, +and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any circumstances, +admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he sees nothing more +than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care of those patients +who are admitted from the city into the public hospital, and one of the +nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every day. Sick poor are received +for charity by the institution, attended by some of the nuns, and often +go away with the highest ideas of their charitable characters and holy +lives. The physician himself might perhaps in some cases share in the +delusion. + +I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the +direction of the Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and +wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different +patients. These were afterwards prepared and administered by the +attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first +appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed +in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course, I had +opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated +there; and in what I am to say on the subject, I appeal with perfect +confidence to any true and competent witness to confirm, my words, +whenever such a witness may appear. + +It would be vain for any body who has merely visited the Convent from +curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations. +Such a person must necessarily be ignorant of even the existence of the +private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms however, +there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there during +the hours I was employed in them, as I have stated. + +One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare, +who, in going down-stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a sick-room +adjoining an hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her head a part +of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her reason most +of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was delirious; but I +considered her as speaking the truth, though I felt reluctant to repeat +what I heard her say, and excused myself from mentioning it even at +confession, on the ground that the Superior thought her deranged. + +What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation, +was a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out +of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at +the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the +dark, for she could not bear it. "I have witnessed so many horrid +scenes," said she, "in this Convent, that I want somebody near me +constantly, and must always have a light burning in my room. I cannot +tell you," she added, "what things I remember, for they would frighten +you too much. What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder have +I witnessed; many a nice young creature has been killed in this nunnery. +I advise you to be very cautions--keep everything to yourself--there are +many here ready to betray you." + +What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me I +could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her own +crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I took of +her. She had been one of the night-watches, and never before showed me +any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail concerning +the transactions to which she alluded, but told me that some nuns had +been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being gagged, and +left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt off their bones +with red-hot irons. + +It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit +renders us insensible to the sufferings of others, and careless about +our own sins. I had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult +to rid myself of many of my former false principles and views of right +and wrong. + +I was one day set to wash some of the empty bottles from the cellar, +which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there. +A number of these had been brought from the corner where so many of them +were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar stairs, and +there we were required to take them and wash them out. We poured in +water and rinsed them; a few drops, which got upon our clothes, soon +made holes in them. I think the liquid was called vitriol, or some such +name; and I heard some persons say, that it would soon destroy the +flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another time, we were +furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed with a quantity +of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was wanted at +funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by being +dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed with fresh +water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a bright red. + +The bottles of which I spoke were made of very thick, dark-coloured +glass, large at the bottom, and, from recollection, I should say held +something less than a gallon. + +I was once much shocked, on entering the room for the examination of +conscience, at seeing a nun hanging by a cord from a ring in the +ceiling, with her head downward. Her clothes had been tied round with a +leathern strap, to keep them in their place, and then she had been +fastened in that situation, with her head at some distance from the +floor. Her face had a very unpleasant appearance, being dark-coloured +and swollen by the rushing in of the blood; her hands were tied and her +mouth stopped with a large gag. This nun proved to be no other than Jane +Ray, who for some fault had been condemned to this punishment. + +This was not, however, a solitary case; I heard of numbers who were +"hung," as it was called, at different times; and I saw Saint Hypolite +and Saint Luke undergoing it. This was considered a most distressing +punishment; and it was the only one which Jane Ray could not endure, of +all she had tried. + +Some of the nuns would allude to it in her presence, but it usually made +her angry. It was probably practised in the same place while I was a +novice; but I never heard or thought of such a thing in those days. +Whenever we wished to enter the room for examination of conscience, we +had to ask leave; and after some delay were permitted to go, but always +under a strict charge to bend the head forward, and keep the eyes fixed +upon the floor. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders in +the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for it--Plan--Deliberation-- +Attempt--Success. + + +I often seized an opportunity, when I safely could, to speak a cheering +or friendly word to one of the poor prisoners, in passing their cells, +on my errands in the cellars. For a time I supposed them to be sisters; +but I afterward discovered that this was not the case. I found that they +were always under the fear of suffering some punishment, in case they +should be found talking with a person not commissioned to attend them. +They would often ask, "Is not somebody coming?" + +I could easily believe what I heard affirmed by others, that fear was +the severest of their sufferings. Confined in the dark, in so gloomy a +place, with the long and spacious arched cellar stretching off this way +and that, visited now and then by a solitary nun, with whom they were +afraid to speak their feelings, and with only the miserable society of +each other; how gloomy thus to spend day after day, months, and even +years, without any prospect of liberation, and liable every moment to +any other fate to which the Bishop or Superior might condemn them! But +these poor creatures must have known something of the horrors +perpetrated in other parts of the building, and could not have been +ignorant of the hole in the cellar, which was not far from their cells, +and the use to which it was devoted. One of them told me, in confidence, +she wished they could get out. They must also have been often disturbed +in their sleep, if they ever did sleep, by the numerous priests who +passed through the trapdoor at no great distance. To be subject to such +trials for a single day would be dreadful; but these nuns had them to +endure for years. + +I often felt much compassion for them, and wished to see them released; +but at other times, yielding to the doctrine perpetually taught us in +the Convent, that our future happiness would be proportioned to the +sufferings we had to undergo in this world, I would rest satisfied that +their imprisonment was a real blessing to them. Others, I presume, +participated with me in such feelings. One Sunday afternoon, after we +had performed all our ceremonies, and were engaged as usual, at that +time, with backgammon and other amusements, one of the young nuns +exclaimed, "Oh, how headstrong are those wretches in the cells--they are +as bad as the day they were first put in!" + +This exclamation was made, as I supposed, in consequence of some recent +conversation with them, as I knew her to be particularly acquainted with +the older one. + +Some of the vacant cells were occasionally used for temporary +imprisonment. Three nuns were confined in them, to my knowledge, for +disobedience to the Superior, as she called it. They did not join the +rest in singing in the evening, being exhausted by the various exertions +of the day. The Superior ordered them to sing, and as they did not +comply, after her command had been twice repeated, she ordered them away +to the cells. + +They were immediately taken down into the cellar, placed in separate +dungeons, and the doors shut and barred upon them. There they remained +through that night, the following day, and second night, but were +released in time to attend mass on the second morning. + +The Superior used occasionally to show something in a glass box, which +we were required to regard with the highest degree of reverence. It was +made of wax, and called an Agnus Dei. She used to exhibit it to us when +we were in a state of grace; that is, after confession and before +sacrament. She said it had been blessed _in the very dish in which our +Saviour had eaten_. It was brought from Rome. Every time we kissed +it, or even looked at it, we were told it gave a hundred days release +from purgatory to ourselves, or if we did not need it, to our next of +kin in purgatory, if not a Protestant. If we had no such kinsman, the +benefit was to go to the souls in purgatory not prayed for. + +Jane Ray would sometimes say to me, "Let's kiss it--some of our friends +will thank us for it." + +I have been repeatedly employed in carrying dainties of different kinds +to the little private room I have mentioned, next beyond the Superior's +sitting-room, in the second story, which the priests made their "_Holy +Retreat_." That room I never was allowed to enter. I could only go to +the door with a waiter of refreshments, set it down upon a little stand +near it, give three raps on the door, and then retire to a distance to +await orders. When any thing was to be taken away, it was placed on the +stand by the Superior, who then gave three raps for me, and closed the +door. + +The Bishop I saw at least once when he appeared worse for wine, or +something of the kind. After partaking of some refreshments in the +Convent, he sent for all the nuns, and, on our appearance, gave us his +blessing, and put a piece of poundcake on the shoulder of each of us, in +a manner which appeared singular and foolish. + +There are three rooms in the Black Nunnery which I never entered. I had +enjoyed much liberty, and had seen, as I supposed, all parts of the +building, when one day I observed an old nun go to a corner of an +apartment near the northern end of the western wing, push the end of her +scissors into a crack in the panelled wall, and pull out a door. I was +much surprised, because I had never conjectured that any door was there; +and it appeared when I afterward examined the place, that no indication +of it could be discovered on the closest scrutiny. I stepped forward to +see what was within, and saw three rooms opening into each other; but +the nun refused to admit me within the door, which she said led to rooms +kept as depositories. + +She herself entered and closed the door, so that I could not satisfy my +curiosity; and no occasion presented itself. I always had a strong +desire to know the use of these apartments: for I am sure they must have +been designed for some purpose of which I was intentionally kept +ignorant, otherwise they would never have remained unknown to me so +long. Besides, the old nun evidently had some strong reasons for denying +me admission, though she endeavoured to quiet my curiosity. + +The Superior, after my admission into the Convent, had told me that I +had access to every room in the building; and I had seen places which +bore witness to the cruelties and the crimes committed under her +commands or sanction; but here was a succession of rooms which had been +concealed from me, and so constructed as if designed to be unknown to +all but a few. I am sure that any person, who might be able to examine +the wall in that place, would pronounce that secret door a surprising +piece of work. I never saw any thing of the kind which appeared to me so +ingenious and skilfully made. I told Jane Ray what I had seen, and she +said, at once, "We will get in and see what is in there." But I suppose +she never found an opportunity. + +I naturally felt a good deal of curiosity to learn whether such scenes, +as I had witnessed in the death of Saint Francis, were common or rare, +and took an opportunity to inquire of Jane Ray. Her reply was-- + +"Oh, yes; and there were many murdered while you was a novice, whom you +heard nothing about." + +This was all I ever learnt on the subject; but although I was told +nothing of the manner in which they were killed, I supposed it to be the +same which I had seen practised, viz. by smothering. + +I went into the Superior's parlour one day for something, and found Jane +Ray there alone, looking into a book with an appearance of interest. I +asked her what it was, but she made some trifling answer, and laid it +by, as if unwilling to let me take it. There are two bookcases in the +room; one on the right as you enter the door, and the other opposite, +near the window and sofa. The former contains the lecture-books and +other printed volumes, the latter seemed to be filled with note and +account books. I have often seen the keys in the bookcases while I have +been dusting the furniture, and sometimes observed letters stuck up in +the room; although I never looked into one, or thought of doing so, as +we were under strict orders not to touch any of them, and the idea of +sins and penances was always present with me. + +Some time after the occasion mentioned, I was sent into the Superior's +room, with Jane, to arrange it; and as the same book was lying out of +the case, she said "Come, let us look into it." I immediately consented, +and we opened it, and turned over several leaves. It was about a foot +and a half long, as nearly as I can remember, a foot wide, and about two +inches thick, though I cannot speak with particular precision, as Jane +frightened me almost as soon as I touched it, by exclaiming, "There you +have looked into it, and if you tell of me, I will of you." + +The thought of being subjected to a severe penance, which I had reason +to apprehend, fluttered me very much; and although I tried to overcome +my fears, I did not succeed very well. I reflected, however, that the +sin was already committed, and that it would not be increased if I +examined the book. I, therefore, looked a little at several pages, +though I still felt a good deal of agitation. I saw, at once, that the +volume was the record of the entrance of nuns and novices into the +Convent, and of the births that had taken place in the Convent. Entries +of the last description were made in a brief manner, on the following +plan: I do not give the names or dates as real, but only to show the +form of entering them. + + Saint Mary delivered of a son, March 16,1834. + Saint Clarice "daughter, April 2," + Saint Matilda "daughter, April, 80," + +No mention was made in the book of the death of the children, though I +well knew not one of them could be living at that time. Now I presume +that the period the book embraced, was about two years, as several names +near the beginning I knew; but I can form only a rough conjecture of the +number of infants born, and murdered of course, records of which it +contained. I suppose the book contained at least one hundred pages, that +one fourth were written upon, and that each page contained fifteen +distinct records. Several pages were devoted to the list of births. On +this supposition there must have been a large number, which I can easily +believe to have been born there in the course of two years. + +What were the contents of the other books belonging to the same case +with that which I looked into, I have no idea, having never dared to +touch one of them; I believe, however, that Jane Ray was well acquainted +with them, knowing, as I do, her intelligence and prying disposition. If +she could be brought to give her testimony, she would doubtless unfold +many curious particulars now unknown. + +I am able, in consequence of a circumstance which appeared accidental, +to state with confidence the exact number of persons in the Convent one +day of the week in which I left it. This may be a point of some +interest, as several secret deaths had occurred since my taking the +veil, and many burials had been openly made in the chapel. + +I was appointed, at the time mentioned, to lay out the covers for all +the inmates of the Convent, including the nuns in the cells. These +covers, as I have said before, were linen bands, to be bound around the +knives, forks, spoons, and napkins, for eating. These were for all the +nuns and novices, and amounted to two hundred and ten. As the number of +novices was then about thirty, I know that there must have been at that +time about one hundred and eighty veiled nuns. + +I was occasionally troubled with a desire of escaping from the nunnery, +and was much distressed whenever I felt so evil an imagination rise in +my mind. I believed that it was a sin, and did not fail to confess at +every opportunity, that I felt discontent. My confessors informed me +that I was beset by an evil spirit, and urged me to pray against it. +Still, however, every now and then, I would think, "Oh, if I could get +out!" + +At length one of the priests, to whom I had confessed this sin, informed +me, for my comfort, that he had begun to pray to Saint Anthony, and +hoped his intercession would, by-and-by, drive away the evil spirit. My +desire of escape was partly excited by the fear of bringing an infant to +the murderous hands of my companions, or of taking a potion whose +violent effects I too well knew. + +One evening, however, I found myself more filled with the desire of +escape than ever; and what exertions I made to dismiss the thought, +proved entirely unavailing. During evening prayers, I became quite +occupied with it; and when the time for meditation arrived, instead of +falling into a doze as I often did, although I was a good deal fatigued, +I found no difficulty in keeping awake. When this exercise was over, and +the other nuns were about to retire to the sleeping-room, my station +being in the private sickroom for the night, I withdrew to my post, +which was the little sitting-room adjoining it. + +Here, then, I threw myself upon the sofa, and, being alone, reflected a +few moments on the manner of escaping which had occurred to me. The +physician had arrived a little before, at half-past eight; and I had now +to accompany him, as usual, from bed to bed, with pen, ink, and paper, +to write down his prescriptions for the direction of the old nun, who +was to see them administered. What I wrote that evening, I cannot now +recollect, as my mind was uncommonly agitated; but my customary way was +to note down briefly his orders in this manner: + + 1 d salts, St. Matilde. + 1 blister, St. Geneviere, &c. &c. + +I remember that I wrote three such orders that evening, and then, having +finished the rounds, I returned for a few minutes to the sitting-room. + +There were two ways of access to the street from those rooms: first, the +more direct, from the passage adjoining the sick-room, down stairs, +through a door, into the nunnery-yard, and through a wicket-gate; that +is the way by which the physician usually enters at night, and he is +provided with a key for that purpose. + +It would have been unsafe, however, for me to pass out that way, because +a man is kept continually in the yard, near the gate, who sleeps at +night in a small hut near the door, to escape whose observation would be +impossible. My only hope, therefore, was, that I might gain my passage +through the other way, to do which I must pass through the sick-room, +then through a passage, or small room, usually occupied by an old nun; +another passage and staircase leading down to the yard, and a large gate +opening into the cross street. I had no liberty ever to go beyond the +sick-room, and knew that several of the doors might be fastened. Still, +I determined to try; although I have often since been astonished at my +boldness in undertaking what would expose me to so many hazards of +failure, and to severe punishment if found out. + +It seemed as if I acted under some extraordinary impulse, which +encouraged me to do what I should hardly at any other moment have +thought of undertaking. I had sat but a short time upon the sofa, +however, before I rose, with a desperate determination to make the +experiment. I therefore walked hastily across the sick-room, passed into +the nun's room, walked by her in a great hurry, and almost without +giving her time to speak or think, said--"A message!" and in an instant +was through the door and in the next passage. I think there was another +nun with her at the moment; and it is probable that my hurried manner, +and prompt intimation that I was sent on a pressing mission, to the +Superior, prevented them from entertaining any suspicion of my +intention. Besides, I had the written orders of the physician in my +hand, which may have tended to mislead them; and it was well known to +some of the nuns, that I had twice left the Convent and returned from +choice; so that I was probably more likely to be trusted to remain than +many of the others. + +The passage which I had now reached had several doors, with all which I +was acquainted; that on the opposite side opened into a community-room, +where I should probably have found some of the old inns at that hour, +and they would certainly have stopped me. On the left, however, was a +large door, both locked and barred; but I gave the door a sudden swing, +that it might creak as little as possible, being of iron. Down the +stairs I hurried, and making my way through the door into the yard, +stepped across it unbarred the great gate, and was at liberty! + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the night-- +Disappointment--My first day opt of the Convent--Solitude-- +Recollections, fears, and plans. + + +I have but a confused idea of the manner in which I got through some of +the doors; several of them, I am confident, were fastened, and one or +two I fastened behind me. [Footnote: Before leaving the nunnery grounds, +I ran round the end of the building, stood a moment in hesitation +whether I had not better return, then hastening back to the other side, +ran to the gate, opened it, and went out.] But I was now in the street, +and what was to be done next? I had got my liberty; but where should I +go? It was dark, I was in great danger, go which way I would: and for a +moment, I thought I had been unwise to leave the Convent. If I could +return unobserved, would it not be better? But summoning resolution, I +turned to the left, and ran some distance up the street; then reflecting +that I had better take the opposite direction, I returned under the same +Convent walls, and ran as fast down to St. Paul's street, and turning up +towards the north, exerted all my strength, and fled for my life. It was +a cold evening, but I stopped for nothing, having recollected the house +where I had been put to board for a short time, by the priest Roque, +when prepared to enter the Convent as a novice, and resolved to seek a +lodging there for the night. Thither I went. It seemed as if I flew +rather than ran. It was by that time so dark, that I was able to see +distinctly through the low windows by the light within; and had the +pleasure to find that she was alone with her children. I therefore went +boldly to the door, was received with readiness, and entered to take up +my lodging there once more. + +Here I changed my nun's dress for one less likely to excite observation; +and having received a few dollars in addition to make up the difference, +I retired to rest, determined to rise early and take the morning +steamboat for Quebec. I knew that my hostess was a friend of the +Superior, as I have mentioned before, and presumed that it would not be +long before she would give information against me. I knew, however, that +she could not gain admittance to the Convent very early, and felt safe +in remaining in the house through the night. + +But after I had retired I found it impossible to sleep, and the night +appeared very long. In the morning early, I requested that a son of the +woman might accompany me to the steamboat, but learnt to my regret that +it would not go before night. Fearing that I might fall into the hands +of the priests, and be carried back to the nunnery, and not knowing +where to go, I turned away, and determined to seek some retired spot +immediately. I walked through a part of the city, and some distance on +the Lachine road, when finding a solitary place, I seated myself in much +distress of mind, fearful and anxious, beyond my power, of description. +I could not think myself safe anywhere in the neighbourhood of Montreal; +for the priests were numerous, and almost all the people were entirely +devoted to them. They would be very desirous of finding me, and, as I +believed, would make great exertions to get me again in their hands. + +It was a pleasant spot where I now found myself; and as the weather was +not uncomfortable in the daytime, I had nothing to trouble me except my +recollections and fears. As for the want of food, that gave me not the +slightest uneasiness, as I felt no inclination whatever to eat. The +uncertainty and doubts I continually felt, kept me in a state of +irresolution the whole day. What should I do? Where should I go? I had +not a friend in the world to whom I could go with confidence; while my +enemies were numerous, and, it seemed to me, all around me, and ready to +seize me. I thought of my uncle, who lived at the distance of five +miles; and sometimes I almost determined to set off immediately for his +house. I had visited it often when a child, and had been received with +the utmost kindness. I remembered that I had been a great favourite of +his; but some considerations would arise which discouraged me from +looking for safety in that direction. The steamboat was to depart in a +few hours. I could venture to pass through the city once more by +twilight; and if once arrived at Quebec, I should be at a great distance +from the nunnery, in a large city, and among a larger proportion of +Protestant inhabitants. Among them I might find friends, or, at least, +some sort of protection; and I had no doubt that I could support myself +by labor. + +Then I thought again of the place I had left; the kindness and sympathy, +small though they were, which I had found in some of my late companions +in the Convent; the awful mortal sin I had committed in breaking my +vows; and the terrible punishment I should receive if taken as a +fugitive and carried back. If I should return voluntarily, and ask to be +admitted again: what would the Superior say, how would she treat me? +Should I be condemned to any very severe penance? Might I not, at least, +escape death? But then there was one consideration that would now and +then occur to me, which excited the strongest determination never to +return. I was to become a mother, and the thought of witnessing the +murder of my own child was more than I could bear. + +Purgatory was doubtless my portion; and perhaps hell for ever--such a +purgatory and hell as are painted in the Convent: but there was one hope +for me yet. + +I might confess all my deadly sins sometime before I died, and a Bishop +could pardon the worst of them. + +This was good Catholic doctrine, and I rested upon it with so much hope, +that I was not quite driven to despair. + +In reflections like these, I spent the whole day, afraid to stray from +the secluded spot to which I had retreated, though at different times +forming momentary plans to leave it, and go in various directions. I ate +not a morsel of food, and yet felt no hunger. Had I been well provided, +I could have tasted nothing in such a state of mind. The afternoon +wasted away, the sun set, and darkness began to come on: I rose and set +off again for the city. I passed along the streets unmolested by any +one; and reached it a short time before the boat was ready to start. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to land +--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before day-- +Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life. + + +Soon after we left the shore, the captain, whom I had previously seen, +appeared to recognise me. + +He came up and inquired if I was not the daughter of my mother, +mentioning her name. I had long been taught and accustomed to deceive; +and it may be supposed that in such a case I did not hesitate to deny +the truth, hoping that I might avoid being known, and fearing to be +defeated in my object. He however persisted that he knew me, and said he +must insist on my returning with him to Montreal, adding that I must not +leave his boat to land at Quebec. I said but little to him, but intended +to get on shore if possible, at the end of our journey--a thing I had +no doubt I might effect. + +When we reached Quebec, however I found, to my chagrin, that the ladies' +maid carefully locked the cabin-door while I was in, after the ladies +had left it, who were six or eight in number. + +I said little, and made no attempts to resist the restriction put upon +me; but secretly cherished the hope of being able, by watching an +opportunity, to slip on shore at tea-time, and lose myself among the +streets of the city. Although a total stranger to Quebec, I longed to be +at liberty there, as I thought I could soon place myself among persons +who would secure me from the Catholics, each of whom I now looked upon +as an enemy. + +But I soon found that my last hopes were blighted: the maid, having +received, as I presumed, strict orders from the captain, kept me closely +confined, so that escape was impossible. I was distressed, it is true, +to find myself in this condition; but I had already become accustomed to +disappointments, and therefore perhaps sunk less under this new one, +than I might otherwise have done. When the hour for departure arrived, I +was therefore still confined in the steamboat, and it was not until we +had left the shore that I was allowed to leave the cabin. The captain +and others treated me with kindness in every respect, except that of +permitting me to do what I most desired. I have sometimes suspected, +that he had received notice of my escape from some of the priests, with +a request to stop my flight, if I should go on board his boat. His wife +is a Catholic, and this is the only way in which I can account for his +conduct: still I have not sufficient knowledge of his motives and +intentions to speak with entire confidence on the subject. + +My time passed heavily on board of the steamboat, particularly on my +passage up the river towards Montreal. My mind was too much agitated to +allow me to sleep, for I was continually meditating on the scenes I had +witnessed in the Convent, and anticipating with dread such as I had +reason to think I might soon be called to pass through. I bought for a +trifle while on board, I hardly know why, a small medallion with a head +upon it, and the name of Robertson, which I hung on my neck. As I sat by +day with nothing to do, I occasionally sunk into a doze for a few +minutes, when I usually waked with a start from some frightful dream. +Sometimes I thought I was running away from the priests, and closely +pursued, and sometimes had no hope of escape. But the most distressing +of my feelings were those I suffered in the course of the night. We +stopped some time at Berthier, where a number of prisoners were taken on +board, to be carried up the river; and this caused much confusion, and +added to my painful reflections. + +My mind became much agitated, worse than it had been before; and what +between waking fears, and sleeping visions, I spent a most wretched +night. Sometimes I thought the priests and nuns had me shut up in a +dungeon; sometimes they were about to make away with me in a most cruel +manner. Once I dreamed that I was in some house, and a coach came up to +the door, into which I was to be put by force; and the man who seized +me, and was putting me in, had no head. + +When we reached Montreal on Saturday morning, it was not daylight; and +the captain, landing, set off as I understood, to give my mother +information that I was in his boat. He was gone a long time, which led +me to conjecture that he might have found difficulty in speaking with +her; but the delay proved very favourable to me, for perceiving that I +was neither locked up nor watched, I hastened on shore, and pursued my +way into the city. I felt happy at my escape: but what was I then to do? +Whither could I go? Not to my mother: I was certain I could not remain +long with her, without being known to the priests. + +My friendlessness and utter helplessness, with the dread of being +murdered in the Convent, added to thoughts of the shame which must await +me if I lived a few months, made me take a desperate resolution, and I +hurried to put it into effect. + +My object was to reach the head of the Lachine Canal, which is near the +St. Lawrence, beyond the extremity of the southern suburbs. I walked +hastily along St. Paul's street, and found all the houses still shut; +then turning to the old Recollet Church, I reached Notre-Dame street, +which I followed in the direction I wished to go. + +The morning was chilly, as the season was somewhat advanced: but that +was of no importance to me. Day had appeared, and I desired to +accomplish the object on which I was now bent, before the light should +much increase. I walked on, therefore, but the morning had broken bright +before I arrived at the Canal; and then I found to my disappointment +that two Canadians were at work on the hank, getting water, or doing +something else. + +I was by the great basin where the boats start, and near the large canal +storehouse. I have not said what was my design; it was to drown myself. + +Fearing the men would rescue me, I hesitated for some time, hoping they +would retire: but finding that they did not, I grew impatient. I stood +looking on the water; it was nearly on a level with the banks, which +shelved away, as I could perceive, for some distance, there being no +wind to disturb the surface. There was nothing in the sight which seemed +frightful or even forbidding to me; I looked upon it as the means of the +easiest death, and longed to be buried below. At length finding that the +men were not likely to leave the place, I sprung from the bank, and was +in an instant in the cold water. The shock was very severe. I felt a +sharp freezing sensation run through me, which almost immediately +rendered me insensible; and the last thing I can recollect was, that I +was sinking in the midst of water almost as cold as ice, which wet my +clothes, and covered me all over. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a vagrant-- +Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it to Mrs. +McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New York-- +Arrangements for going. + + +How long I remained in the canal I knew not; but in about three minutes, +as I conjectured, I felt a severe blow on my right side; and opening my +eyes I saw myself surrounded by men, who talked a great deal, and +expressed much anxiety and curiosity about me. They enquired of me my +name, where I lived, and why I had thrown myself into the water: but I +would not answer a word. The blow which I had felt, and which was +probably the cause of bringing me for a few moments to my senses, I +presume was caused by my falling, after I was rescued, upon the stones, +which lay thickly scattered near the water. I remember that the persons +around me continued to press me with questions, and that I still +remained silent. Some of them having observed the little medallion on my +neck, and being able to read, declared I was probably the daughter of +Dr. Robertson, as it bore the name; but to this, I also gave no answer, +and sunk again into a state of unconsciousness. + +When my senses once more returned, I found myself lying in a bed covered +up warm, in a house, and heard several persons talking of the mass, from +which they had just returned. I could not imagine where I was, for my +thoughts were not easily collected, and every thing seemed strange +around me. Some of them, on account of the name on the little medallion, +had sent to Dr. Robertson, to inform him that a young woman had been +prevented from drowning herself in the basin, who had a portrait on her +neck, with his family name stamped upon it; and he had sent word, that +although she could be no relation of his, they had better bring her to +his house, as he possibly might be able to learn who she was. +Preparations were therefore made to conduct me thither; and I was soon +in his house. This was about midday, or a little later. + +The doctor endeavored to draw from me some confession of my family: but +I refused; my feelings would not permit me to give him any satisfaction. +He offered to send me to my home if I would tell him where I lived; but +at length, thinking me unreasonable and obstinate, began to threaten to +send me to jail. + +In a short time I found that the latter measure was determined on, and I +was soon put into the hands of the jailer, Captain Holland, and placed +in a private room in his house. + +I had formerly been acquainted with his children, but had such strong +reasons for remaining unknown, that I hoped they would not recognise me; +and, as we had not met for several years I flattered myself that such +would be the case. It was, at first, as I had hoped; they saw me in the +evening, but did not appear to suspect who I was. The next morning, +however, one of them asked me if I were not sister of my brother, +mentioning his name; and though I denied it, they all insisted that I +must be, for the likeness, they said, was surprisingly strong. I still +would not admit the truth; but requested they would send for the Rev. +Mr. Esson, a Presbyterian clergyman in Montreal, saying I had something +to say to him. He soon made his appearance and I gave him some account +of myself and requested him to procure my release from confinement, as I +thought there was no reason why I should be deprived of my liberty. + +Contrary to my wishes, however, he went and informed my mother. An +unhappy difference had existed between us for many years concerning +which I would not speak, were it not necessary to allude to it to render +some things intelligible which are important to my narrative. I am +willing to bear much of the blame: for my drawing part of her pension +had justly irritated her. I shall not attempt to justify or explain my +own feelings with respect to my mother, whom I still regard at least in +some degree as I ought. I will merely say, that I thought she indulged +in partialities and antipathies in her family during my childhood; and +that I attribute my entrance into the nunnery, and the misfortunes I +have suffered, to my early estrangement from home, and my separation +from the family. I had neither, seen her nor heard from her in several +years; and I knew not whether she had even known of my entrance into the +Convent, although I now learnt, that she still resided where she +formerly did. + +It was therefore with regret that I heard that my mother had been +informed of my condition; and that I saw an Irishwoman, an acquaintance +of hers, come to take me to the house. I had no doubt that she would +think I had disgraced her, by being imprisoned, as well as by my attempt +to drown myself; and what would be her feelings towards me, I could only +conjecture. + +I accompanied the woman to my mother's, and found nearly such a +reception as I had expected. Notwithstanding our mutual feelings were +much as they had been, she wished me to stay with her, and kept me in +one of her rooms for several weeks, and with the utmost privacy, fearing +that my appearance would lead to questions, and that my imprisonment +would become known. I soon satisfied myself that she knew little of what +I had passed through, within the few past years; and did not think it +prudent to inform her, for that would greatly have increased the risk of +my being discovered by the priests. We were surrounded by those who went +frequently to confession, and would have thought me a monster of +wickedness, guilty of breaking the most solemn vows, and a fugitive from +a retreat which is generally regarded there as a place of great +sanctity, and almost like a gate to heaven. I well knew the ignorance +and prejudices of the poor Canadians, and understood how such a person +as myself must appear in their eyes. They felt as I formerly had, and +would think it a service to religion, and to God, to betray the place of +my concealment if by chance they should find, or even suspect it. As I +had become in the eyes of Catholics, "a spouse of Jesus Christ," by +taking the veil, my leaving the Convent must appear to them a forsaking +of the Saviour. + +As things were, however, I remained for some time undisturbed. My +brother, though he lived in the house, did not know of my being there +for a fortnight. + +When he learnt it, and came to see me, he expressed much kindness +towards me: but I had not seen him for several years, and had seen so +much evil, that I knew not what secret motives he might have, and +thought it prudent to be reserved. I, therefore, communicated to him +nothing of my history or intentions, and rather repulsed his advances. +The truth is, I had been so long among nuns and priests, that I thought +there was no sincerity or virtue on earth. + +What were my mother's wishes or intentions towards me, I was not +informed: but I found afterwards, that she must have made arrangements +to have me removed from her house, for one day a woman came to the door +with a cariole, and on being admitted to see me, expressed herself in a +friendly manner, spoke of the necessity of air and exercise for my +health, and invited me to take a ride. I consented, supposing we should +soon return: but when we reached St. Antoine suburbs, she drove up to a +house which I had formerly heard to be some kind of refuge, stopped, and +requested me to alight. My first thought was, that I should be exposed +to certain detection, by some of the priests whom I presumed officiated +there; as they had all known me in the nunnery. I could not avoid +entering; but I resolved to feign sickness, hoping thus to be placed out +of sight of the priests. + +The result was according to my wishes: for I was taken to an upper room, +which was used as an infirmary, and there permitted to remain. There +were a large number of women in the house; and a Mrs. M'Donald, who has +the management of it, had her daughters in the Ursuline Nunnery at +Quebec, and her son in the college. The nature of the establishment I +could not fully understand: but it seemed to me designed to become a +nunnery at some future time. + +I felt pretty safe in the house; so long as I was certain of remaining +in the infirmary; for there was nobody there who had ever seen me +before. But I resolved to avoid, if possible, ever making my appearance +below, for I felt that I could not do it without hazard of discovery. + +Among other appendages of a Convent which I observed in that place, was +a confessional within the building, and I soon learnt, to my dismay, +that Father Bonin, one of the murderers of Saint Francis, was in the +habit of constant attendance as priest and confessor. The recollections +which I often indulged in of scenes in the Hotel Dieu, gave me +uneasiness and distress: but not knowing where to go to seek greater +seclusion, I remained in the infirmary week after week, still affecting +illness in the best manner I could. At length I found that I was +suspected of playing off a deception with regard to the state of my +health; and at the close of a few weeks, I became satisfied that I could +not remain longer without making my appearance below stairs. I at length +complied with the wishes I heard expressed, that I would go into the +community-room, where those in health were accustomed to assemble to +work, and then some of the women began to talk of my going to +confession. I merely expressed unwillingness at first; but when they +pressed the point, and began to insist, my fear of detection overcame +every other feeling, and I plainly declared that I would not go. This +led to an altercation, when the mistress of the house pronounced me +incorrigible, and said she would not keep me for a hundred pounds a +year. She, in fact, became so weary of having me there, that she sent to +my mother to take me away. + +My mother, in consequence, sent a cariole for me, and took me again into +her house; but I became so unhappy in a place where I was secluded and +destitute of all agreeable society, that I earnestly requested her to +allow me to leave Canada. I believe she felt ready to have me removed to +a distance, that she might not be in danger of having my attempt at +self-destruction, and my confinement in prison made public. + +There was a fact which I had not disclosed, and of which all were +ignorant: viz., that which had so much influence in exciting me to leave +the Convent, and to reject every idea of returning to it. + +When conversing with my mother about leaving Canada, I proposed to go to +New York. She inquired why I wished to go there. I made no answer to +that question: for, though I had never been there, and knew scarcely +anything about the place, I presumed that I should find protection from +my enemies, as I knew it was in a Protestant country. I had not thought +of going to the United States before, because I had no one to go with +me, nor money enough to pay my expenses; but then a plan presented +itself to my mind, by which I thought I might proceed to New York in +safety. + +There was a man who I presumed would wish to have me leave Canada, on +his own account; and that was the man I had so precipitately married +while residing at St. Denis. He must have had motives, as I thought, for +wishing me at a distance. I proposed therefore that he should be +informed that I was in Montreal, and anxious to go to the States; and +such a message was sent to him by a woman whom my mother knew. +[Footnote: Mrs. Tarbert, or M'Gan. See her affidavit. What house she +refers to I cannot conjecture.] She had a little stand for the sale of +some articles, and had a husband who carried on some similar kind of +business at the Scotch mountain. Through her husband, as I suppose, she +had my message conveyed, and soon informed me that arrangements were +made for my commencing my journey, under the care of the person to whom +it had been sent. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal boat-- +Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat. + + +It is remarkable that I was able to stay so long in the midst of +Catholics without discovery, and at last obtain the aid of some of them +in effecting my flight. There is probably not a person in Montreal, who +would sooner have betrayed me into the power of priests than that woman, +if she had known my history. + +She was a frequent visitor at the Convent and the Seminary, and had a +ticket which entitled her every Monday to the gift of a loaf of bread +from the former. She had an unbounded respect for the Superior and the +priests, and seized every opportunity to please them. Now the fact that +she was willing to take measures to facilitate my departure from +Montreal, afforded sufficient evidence to me of her entire ignorance of +myself, in all respects in which I could wish her to be ignorant; and I +confided in her, because I perceived that she felt no stronger motive, +than a disposition to oblige my mother. + +Should any thing occur to let her into the secret of my being a fugitive +from the Black Nunnery, I knew that I could not trust to her kindness +for an instant. The discovery of that fact would transform her into a +bitter and deadly enemy. She would at once regard me as guilty of mortal +sin, an apostate, and a proper object of persecution. And this was a +reflection I had often reason to make, when thinking of the numerous +Catholics around me. How important, then, the keeping of my secret, and +my escape before the truth should become known, even to a single person +near me. + +I could realize, from the dangers through which I was brought by the +hand of God, how difficult it must be, in most cases, for a fugitive +from a nunnery to obtain her final freedom from the power of her +enemies. Even if escaped from a Convent, so long as she remains among +Catholics, she is in constant exposure to be informed against; +especially if the news of her escape is made public, which fortunately +was not the fact in my case. + +If a Catholic comes to the knowledge of any fact calculated to expose +such a person, he will think it his duty to disclose it at confession; +and then the whole fraternity will be in motion to seize her. + +How happy for me that not a suspicion was entertained concerning me, and +that not a whisper against me was breathed into the ear of a single +priest at confession! + +Notwithstanding my frequent appearance in the street, my removals from +place to place, and the various exposures I had to discovery, contrary +to my fears, which haunted me even in my dreams, I was preserved; and as +I have often thought, for the purpose of making the disclosures which I +have made in this volume. No power but that of God, as I have frequently +thought, could ever have led me in safety through so many dangers. + +I would not have my readers imagine, however, that I had at that period +any thought of making known my history to the world. I wished to plunge +into the deepest possible obscurity; and next to the fear of falling +again into the hands of the priests and Superior, I shrunk most from the +idea of having others acquainted with the scenes I had passed through. +Such a thought as publishing never entered my mind till months after +that time. My desire was, that I might meet a speedy death in obscurity, +and that my name and my shame might perish on earth together. As for my +future doom, I still looked forward to it with gloomy apprehensions: for +I considered myself as almost, if not quite, removed beyond the reach of +mercy. During all the time which had elapsed since I left the Convent, I +had received no religious instruction, nor even read a word in the +scriptures; and, therefore, it is not wonderful that I should still have +remained under the delusions in which I had been educated. + +The plan arranged for the commencement of my journey was this: I was to +cross the St. Lawrence to Longueil, to meet the man who was to accompany +me. The woman who had sent my message into the country, went with me to +the ferry, and crossed the river, where, according to the appointment, +we found my companion. He willingly undertook to accompany me to the +place of my destination, and at his own expense; but declared, that he +was apprehensive we should be pursued. To avoid the priests, who he +supposed would follow us, he took an indirect route, and during about +twelve days, or nearly that, which we spent on the way, passed over a +much greater distance than was necessary. It would be needless, if it +were possible, to mention all the places we visited. We crossed +Carpenter's ferry, and were at Scotch-mountain and St. Alban's; arrived +at Champlain by land, and there took the steamboat, leaving it again at +Burlington. + +As we were riding towards Charlotte, my companion entertained fears, +which, to me, appeared ridiculous; but it was impossible for me to +reason him out of them, or to hasten our journey. Circumstances which +appeared to me of no moment whatever, would influence, and sometimes +would make him change his whole plan and direction. As we were one day +approaching Charlotte, for instance, on inquiring of a person on the +way, whether there were any Canadians there, and being informed there +were not a few, and that there was a Roman Catholic priest residing +there, he immediately determined to avoid the place, and turned back, +although we were then only nine miles distant from it. + +During several of the first nights after leaving Montreal, he suffered +greatly from fear; and on meeting me in the morning, repeatedly said: +"Well, thank God, we are safe so far!" When we arrived at Whitehall, he +had an idea we should run a risk of meeting priests, who he thought, +were in search of us, if we went immediately on; and insisted that we +had better stay there a little time, until they should have passed. In +spite of my anxiety to proceed, we accordingly remained there about a +week; when we entered a canal-boat to proceed to Troy. + +An unfortunate accident happened to me while on our way. I was in the +cabin, when a gun, which had been placed near me, was started from its +place by the motion of the boat, caused by another boat running against +it, and striking me on my left side, threw me some distance. The shock +was violent, and I thought myself injured, but hoped the effects would +soon pass off. I was afterwards taken with vomiting blood; and this +alarming symptom several times returned; but I was able to keep up. + +We came without any unnecessary delay from Troy to New York, where we +arrived in the morning, either on Thursday or Friday, as I believe: but +my companion there disappeared without informing me where he was going, +and I saw him no more. Being now, as I presumed, beyond the reach of my +enemies, I felt relief from the fear of being carried back to the +nunnery, and sentenced to death or the cells: but I was in a large city +where I had not a friend. Feeling overwhelmed with my miserable +condition, I longed for death; and yet I felt no desire to make another +attempt to destroy myself. + +On the contrary, I determined to seek some solitary retreat, and await +God's time to remove me from a world in which I had found so much +trouble, hoping and believing that it would not be long. + +Not knowing which way to go to find solitude, I spoke to a little boy, +whom I saw on the wharf, and told, him I would give him some money if he +would lead me into the "_bush_". (This is the common word by which, +in Canada, we speak of the woods or forests.) When he understood what I +meant, he told me that there was no _bush_ about New York; but +consented to lead me to the most lonely place he knew of. He accordingly +set off, and I followed him, on a long walk to the upper part of the +city, and beyond, until we reached the outskirts of it. Turning off from +the road, we gained a little hollow, where were a few trees and bushes, +a considerable distance from any house; and there, he told me, was the +loneliest place with which he was acquainted. I paid him for his trouble +out of the small stock of money I had in my possession, and let him go +home, desiring him to come the next day, and bring me something to eat, +with a few pennies which I gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to rain-- +Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the Bellevue +Almshouse. + + +There I found myself once more alone, and truly it was a great relief to +sit down and feel that I was out of the reach of priests and nuns, and +in a spot where I could patiently wait for death, when God might please +to send it, instead of being abused and tormented according to the +caprices and passions of my persecutors. + +But then again returned most bitter anticipations of the future. Life +had no attractions for me, for it must be connected with shame; but +death under any circumstances, could not be divested of horrors, so long +as I believed in the doctrines relating to it which had been inculcated +upon me. + +The place where I had taken up, as I supposed, my last earthly abode, +was pleasant in clear and mild weather; and I spent most of my time in +as much peace as the state of my mind would permit. I saw houses, but no +human beings, except on the side of a little hill near by, where were +some men at work, making sounds like those made in hammering stone. The +shade around me was so thick that I felt assured of being sufficiently +protected from observation if I kept still; and a cluster of bushes +offered me shelter for the night. As evening approached, I was somewhat +alarmed by the sound of voices near me, and I found that a number of +labourers were passing that way from their work. I went in a fright to +the thickest of the bushes, and lay down, until all again was still, and +then ventured out to take my seat again on the turf. + +Darkness now came gradually on; and with it fears of another +description. The thought struck me that there might be wild beasts in +that neighborhood, ignorant as I then was of the country; and the more I +thought of it, the more I became alarmed. I heard no alarming sound, it +is true; but I knew not how soon some prowling and ferocious beast might +come upon me in my defenceless condition, and tear me in pieces. I +retired to my bushes, and stretched myself under them upon the ground: +but I found it impossible to sleep; and my mind was almost continually +agitated by thoughts on the future or the past. + +In the morning the little boy made his appearance again, and brought me +a few cakes which he had purchased for me. He showed much interest in +me, inquired why I did not live in a house; and it was with difficulty +that I could satisfy him to let me remain in my solitary and exposed +condition. Understanding that I wished to continue unknown, he assured +me that he had not told even his mother about me; and I had reason to +believe that he faithfully kept my secret to the last. Though he lived a +considerable distance from my hiding-place, and, as I supposed, far down +in the city, he visited me almost every day, even when I had not desired +him to bring me any thing. Several times I received from him some small +supplies of food for the money I had given him. I once gave him a half- +dollar to get changed; and he brought me back every penny of it, at his +next visit. + +As I had got my drink from a brook or pool, which was at no great +distance, he brought me a little cup one day to drink out of; but this I +was not allowed to keep long, for he soon after told me that his mother +wanted it, and he must return it. He several times arrived quite out of +breath, and when I inquired the reason, calling him as I usually did, +"Little Tommy" he said it was necessary for him to run, and to stay but +a short time, that he might be at school in good season. Thus he +continued to serve me, and keep my secret, at great inconvenience to +himself, up to the last day of my stay in that retreat; and I believe he +would have done so for three months if I had remained there. I should +like to see him again and hear his broken English. + +I had now abundance of time to reflect on my lost condition; and many a +bitter thought passed through my mind, as I sat on the ground, or +strolled about by day, and lay under the bushes at night. + +Sometimes I reflected on the doctrines I had heard at the nunnery, +concerning sins and penances, Purgatory and Hell; and sometimes on my +late companions, and the crimes I had witnessed in the Convent. + +Sometimes I would sit and seriously consider how I might best destroy my +life; and sometimes would sing a few of the hymns with which I was +familiar; but I never felt willing or disposed to pray, as I supposed +there was no hope of mercy for me. + +One of the first nights I spent in that houseless condition was stormy; +and though I crept under the thickest of the bushes, and had more +protection against the rain than one might have expected, I was almost +entirely wet before morning; and, it may be supposed, passed a more +uncomfortable night than usual. The next day I was happy to find the +weather clear, and was able to dry my garments by taking off one at a +time, and spreading them on the bushes. A night or two after, however, I +was again exposed to a heavy rain, and had the same process afterward to +go through with: but what is remarkable, I took no cold on either +occasion; nor did I suffer any lasting injury from all the exposures I +underwent in that place. The inconveniences I had to encounter, also, +appeared to me of little importance, not being sufficient to draw off my +mind from its own troubles; and I had no intention of seeking a more +comfortable abode, still looking forward only to dying as soon as God +would permit, alone and in that spot. + +One day, however, when I had been there about ten days, I was alarmed at +seeing four men approaching me. All of them had guns, as if out on a +shooting excursion. They expressed much surprise and pity on finding me +there, and pressed me with questions. I would not give them any +satisfactory account of myself, my wants, or intentions, being only +anxious that they might withdraw. I found them, however, too much +interested to render me some service to be easily sent away; and after +some time, thinking there would be no other way, I pretended to go away +not to return. After going some distance, and remaining some time, +thinking they had probably left the place, I returned; but to my +mortification found they had concealed themselves to see whether I would +come back. They now, more urgently than before, insisted on my removing +to some other place, where I might he comfortable. They continued to +question me; but I became distressed in a degree I cannot describe, +hardly knowing what I did. At last I called the oldest gentleman aside, +and told him something of my history. He expressed great interest for +me, offered to take me anywhere I would tell him, and at last insisted +that I should go with him to his own house. All these offers I refused; +on which one proposed to take me to the Almshouse, and even to carry me +by force if I would not go willingly. + +To this I at length consented; but some delay took place, and I became +unwilling, so that with reluctance I was taken to that institution, +which was about half a mile distant. [Footnote: See the affidavit of Mr. +Hilliker, in Appendix. The letter to which he refers I had forgotten to +mention. It contains a short account of the crimes I had witnessed in +the nunnery, and was written on paper which "little Tommy" had bought +for me.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible. + +I was now at once made comfortable, and attended with kindness and care. +It is not to be expected in such a place, where so many poor and +suffering people are collected and duties of a difficult nature are to +be daily performed by those engaged in the care of the institution, that +petty vexations should not occur to individuals of all descriptions. + +But in spite of all, I received kindness and sympathy from several +persons around me, to whom I feel thankful. + +I was standing one day at the window of the room number twenty-six, +which is at the end of the hospital building, when I saw a spot I once +visited in a little walk I took from my hiding-place. My feelings were +different now in some respects, from what they had been; for, though I +suffered much from my fears of future punishment, for the sin of +breaking my Convent vows, I had given up the intention of destroying my +life. + +After I had been some time in the Institution, I found it was reported +by some about me, that I was a fugitive nun; and it was not long after, +that an Irish woman, belonging to the Institution, brought me a secret +message, which caused me some agitation. + +I was sitting in the room of Mrs. Johnson, the matron, engaged in +sewing, when that Irish woman, employed in the Institution, came in and +told me that Mr. Conroy was below, and had sent to see me. I was +informed that he was a Roman priest, who often visited the house, and he +had a particular wish to see me at that time; having come, as I believe, +expressly for that purpose, I showed unwillingness to comply with such +an invitation, and did not go. The woman told me further, that he sent +me word that I need not think to avoid him, for it would be impossible +for me to do so. I might conceal myself as well as I could, but I should +be found and taken. No matter where I went, or what hiding-place I might +choose, I should be known; and I had better come at once. He knew who I +was; and he was authorized to take me to the Sisters of Charity, if I +should prefer to join them. He would promise that I might stay with them +if I chose, and be permitted to remain in New York. He sent me word +farther, that he had received full power and authority over me from the +Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery of Montreal, and was able to do all +that she could do; as her right to dispose of me at her will had been +imparted to him by a regular writing received from Canada. This was +alarming information for me, in the weakness in which I was at that +time. The woman added, that the same authority had been given to all the +priests; so that, go where I might, I should meet men informed about me +and my escape, and fully empowered to seize me wherever they could, and +convey me back to the Convent, from which I had escaped. + +Under these circumstances, it seemed to me that the offer to place me +among the Sisters of Charity, with permission to remain in New York, was +mild and favourable. However, I had resolution enough to refuse to see +the priest Conroy. + +Not long afterward, I was informed by the same messenger, that the +priest was again in the building, and repeated his request. I desired +one of the gentlemen connected with the Institution, that a stop might +be put to such messages, as I wished to receive no more of them. A short +time after, however, the woman told me that Mr. Conroy wished to inquire +of me whether my name was not St. Eustace while a nun, and if I had not +confessed to Priest Kelly in Montreal. I answered, that it was all true; +for I had confessed to him a short time while in the nunnery. I was then +told again that the priest wanted to see me, and I sent back word that I +would see him in the presence of Mr. Tappan, or Mr. Stevens; which, +however, was not agreed to; and I was afterwards informed, that Mr. +Conroy, the Roman priest, spent an hour in a room and a passage where I +had frequently been; but through the mercy of God; I was employed in +another place at that time, and had no occasion to go where I should +have met him. I afterwards repeatedly heard, that Mr. Conroy continued +to visit the house, and to ask for me; but I never saw him. I once had +determined to leave the Institution, and go to the Sisters of Charity; +but circumstances occurred which gave me time for further reflection; +and I _was saved from the destruction to which I should have been +exposed_. + +As the period of my accouchment approached, I sometimes thought that I +should not survive it; and then the recollection of the dreadful crimes +I had witnessed in the nunnery would come upon me very powerfully, and I +would think it a solemn duty to disclose them before I died. To have a +knowledge of those things, and leave the world without making them +known, appeared to me like a great sin: whenever I could divest myself +of the impression made upon me, by the declarations and arguments of the +Superior, nuns, and priests, of the duty of submitting to every thing, +and the necessary holiness of whatever the latter did or required. + +The evening but one before the period which I anticipated with so much +anxiety, I was sitting alone, and began to indulge in reflections of +this kind. It seemed to me that I must be near the close of my life, and +I determined to make a disclosure at once. I spoke to Mrs. Ford, a woman +whose character I respected, a nurse in the hospital, in number twenty- +three. I informed her that I had no expectation of living long, and had +some things on my mind which I wished to communicate before it should be +too late. I added, that I should prefer to tell them to Mr. Tappan, the +chaplain, of which she approved, as she considered it a duty to do so +under those circumstances. I had no opportunity, however, to converse +with Mr. T. at that time, and probably my purpose, of disclosing the +facts already given in this book, would never have been executed but for +what subsequently took place. It was alarm which had led me to form +such a determination; and when the period of trial had been safely +passed, and I had a prospect of recovery, anything appeared to me more +likely than that I should make this exposure. + +I was then a Roman Catholic, at least a great part of my time; and my +conduct, in a great measure, was according to the faith and motives of a +Roman Catholic. Notwithstanding what I knew of the conduct of so many of +the priests and nuns, I thought that it had no effect on the sanctity of +the Church, or the authority or effects of the acts performed by the +former at the mass, confession, &c. I had such a regard for my vows as a +nun, that I considered my hand as well as my heart irrevocably given to +Jesus Christ, and could never have allowed any person to take it. +Indeed, to this day, I feel an instinctive aversion to offering my hand, +or taking the hand of another person, even as an expression of +friendship. I also thought that I might soon return to the Catholics, +although fear and disgust held me back. I had now that infant to think +for, whose life I had happily saved by my timely escape from the +nunnery; and what its fate might be, in case it should ever fall into +the power of the priests I could not tell. + +I had, however, reason for alarm. Would a child destined to destruction, +like the infants I had seen baptized and smothered, be allowed to go +through the world unmolested, a living memorial of the truth of crimes +long practised in security, because never exposed? What pledges could I +get to satisfy me, that I, on whom her dependence must be, would be +spared by those who I had reason to think were then wishing to sacrifice +me? How could I trust the helpless infant in hands which had hastened +the baptism of many such, in order to hurry them to the secret pit in +the cellar? Could I suppose that _Father Phelan, Priest of the Parish +Church of Montreal_, would see _his own child_ growing up in the +world, and feel willing to run the rink of having the truth exposed? +What could I expect, especially from him, but the utmost rancor, and the +most determined enmity against the innocent child and its abased and +defenceless mother? + +Yet, my mind would sometimes still incline in the opposite direction, +and indulge the thought, that perhaps the only way to secure heaven to +as both, was to throw ourselves back into the hands of the Church, to be +treated as she pleased. When, therefore, the fear of immediate death was +removed, I renounced all thoughts of communicating the substance of the +facts in this volume. It happened, however, that my danger was not +passed. I was soon seized with very alarming symptoms; then my desire to +disclose my story revived. + +I had before had an opportunity to speak in private with the chaplain; +but, as it was at a time when I supposed myself out of danger, I had +deferred for three days my proposed communication, thinking that I might +yet avoid it altogether. When my symptoms, however, became more +alarming, I was anxious for Saturday to arrive, the day which I had +appointed; and when I had not the opportunity on that day, which I +desired, I thought it might be too late. I did not see him till Monday, +when my prospects of surviving were very gloomy; and I then informed him +that I wished to communicate to him a few secrets, which were likely +otherwise to die with me. I then told him, that while a nun, in the +convent of Montreal, I had witnessed the murder of a nun, called Saint +Francis, and of at least one of the infants which I have spoken of in +this book. I added some few circumstances, and I believe disclosed, in +general terms, some of the other crimes I knew of in that nunnery. + +My anticipations of death proved to be unfounded; for my health +afterward improved, and had I not made the confessions on that occasion, +it is very possible I never might have made them. I, however, afterward, +felt more willing to listen to instruction, and experienced friendly +attentions from some of the benevolent persons around me, who, taking an +interest in me on account of my darkened understanding, furnished me +with the Bible, and were ever ready to counsel me when I desired it. + +I soon began to believe that God might have intended that his creatures +should learn his will by reading his word, and taking upon them the free +exercise of their reason, and acting under responsibility to him. + +It is difficult for one who has never given way to such arguments and +influences as those to which I had been exposed, to realize how hard it +is to think aright after thinking wrong. The Scriptures always affect me +powerfully when I read them; but I feel that I have but just begun to +learn the great truths, in which I ought to have been early and +thoroughly instructed. I realize, in some degree, how it is, that the +Scriptures render the people of the United States so strongly opposed to +such doctrines as are taught in the Black and the Congregational +Nunneries of Montreal. The priests and nuns used often to declare, that +of all heretics, the children from the United States were the most +difficult to be converted; and it was thought a great triumph when one +of them was brought over to "the true faith." The first passage of +Scripture that made any serious impression upon my mind, was the text on +which the chaplain preached on the Sabbath after my introduction into +the house--"Search the Scriptures." + +I made some hasty notes of the thoughts to which it gave rise in my +mind, and often recurred to the subject. Yet I sometimes questioned the +justice of the views I began to entertain, and was ready to condemn +myself for giving my mind any liberty to seek for information concerning +the foundations of my former faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the priests-- +Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, Burlington, St. +Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at Montreal--Reflections +on passing the Nunnery, &c. + + +About a fortnight after I had made the disclosures mentioned in the last +chapter, Mr. Hoyt called at the Hospital to make inquiries about me. I +was introduced to him by Mr. Tappan. After some conversation, he asked +me if I would consent to visit Montreal, and give my evidence against +the priests and nuns before a court. I immediately expressed my +willingness to do so, on condition that I should be protected. It +immediately occurred to me, that I might enter the nunnery at night, and +bring out the nuns in the cells, and possibly Jane Ray, and that they +would confirm my testimony. In a short time, arrangements were made for +our journey, I was furnished with clothes; and although my strength was +but partially restored, I set off in pretty good spirits. + +Our journey was delayed for a little while, by Mr. Hoyt's waiting to get +a companion. He had engaged a clergyman to accompany us, as I +understood, who was prevented from going by unexpected business. We went +to Troy in a steamboat; and, while there, I had several interviews with +some gentlemen who were informed of my history, and wished to see me. +They appeared to be deeply impressed with the importance of my +testimony; and on their recommendation it was determined that we should +go to St. Alban's, on our way to Montreal, to get a gentleman to +accompany us, whose advice and assistance, as an experienced lawyer, +were thought to be desirable to us in prosecuting the plan we had in +view: viz. the exposure of the crimes with which I was acquainted. + +We travelled from Troy to Whitehall in a canal packet, because the easy +motion was best adapted to my state of health. We met on board the Rev. +Mr. Sprague of New York, with whom Mr. Hoyt was acquainted, and whom he +tried to persuade to accompany us to Montreal. From Whitehall to +Burlington we proceeded in a steamboat; and there I was so much +indisposed, that is was necessary to call a physician. After a little +rest, we set off in the stage for St. Alban's; and on arriving, found +that Judge Turner was out of town. We had to remain a day or two before +he returned; and then he said it would be impossible for him to +accompany us. After some deliberation, it was decided that Mr. Hunt +should go to Montreal with us, and that Judge Turner should follow and +join us there as soon as his health and business would permit. +[Footnote: Mr. Hunt was recommended as a highly respectable lawyer; to +whose kindness, as well as that of Judge Turner, I feel myself under +obligations.] + +We therefore crossed the lake by the ferry to Plattsburgh, where, after +some delay, we embarked in a steamboat, which took us to St. John's. Mr. +Hunt, who had not reached the ferry early enough to cross with us, had +proceeded on to ----, and there got on board the steamboat in the +night. We went on to Laprairie with little delay, but finding that no +boat was to cross the St. Lawrence at that place during the day, we had +to take another private carriage to Longeuil, whence we rowed across to +Montreal by three men, in a small boat. + +I had felt quite bold and resolute when I first consented to go to +Montreal, and also during my journey: but when I stepped on shore in the +city, I thought of the different scenes I had witnessed there, and of +the risks I might run before I should leave it. We got into a caleche, +and rode along towards the hotel where we were to stop. We passed up St. +Paul's street; and, although it was dusk, I recognised every thing I had +known. We came at length to the nunnery; and then many recollections +crowded upon me. First, I saw a window from which I had sometimes looked +at some of the distant houses in that street; and I wondered whether +some of my old acquaintances were employed as formerly. But I thought if +I were once within those walls, I should be in the cells for the +remainder of my life, or perhaps be condemned to something still more +severe. I remembered the murder of St. Francis, and the whole scene +returned to me as if it had just taken place; the appearance, language, +and conduct of the persons most active in her destruction. Those persons +were now all near me, and would use all exertions they safely might, to +get me again into their power. + +And certainly they had greater reason to be exasperated against me, than +against that poor helpless nun, who had only expressed a wish to escape. +[Footnote: My gloomy feelings however did not always prevail. I had hope +of obtaining evidence to prove my charges. I proposed to my companions +to be allowed to proceed that evening to execute the plan I had formed +when a journey to Montreal had first been mentioned. This was to follow +the physician into the nunnery, conceal myself under the red calico sofa +in the sitting-room, find my way into the cellar after all was still, +release the nuns from their cells, and bring them out to confirm my +testimony. I was aware that there were hazards of my not succeeding, and +that I must forfeit my life if detected--but I was desperate; and +feeling as if I could not long live in Montreal, thought I might as well +die one way as another, and that I had better die in the performance of +a good deed. I thought of attempting to bring out Jane Ray--but that +seemed quite out of the question, as an old nun is commonly engaged in +cleaning a community-room, through which I should have to pass; and how +could I hope to get into, and out of the sleeping-room unobserved? I +could not even determine that the imprisoned nuns would follow me out-- +for they might be afraid to trust me. However, I determined to try, and +presuming my companions had all along understood and approved my plan, +told them I was ready to go at once. I was chagrined and mortified more +than I can express, when they objected, and almost refused to permit me. +I insisted and urged the importance of the step--but they represented +its extreme rashness. This conduct of theirs, for a time diminished my +confidence to them, although everybody else has approved of it.] + +When I found myself safely in Goodenough's hotel, in a retired room, and +began to think alone, the most gloomy apprehensions filled my mind. I +could not eat, I had no appetite, and I did not sleep all night. Every +painful scene that I ever passed through seemed to return to my mind; +and such was my agitation, I could fix my thoughts upon nothing in +particular. I had left New York when the state of my health was far from +being established; and my strength, as may be presumed, was now much +reduced by the fatigue of travelling. I shall be able to give but a +faint idea of the feelings with which I passed that night, but must +leave it to the imagination of my readers. Now once more in the +neighborhood of the Convent, and surrounded by the nuns and priests, of +whose conduct I had made the first disclosures ever made, surrounded by +thousands of persons devoted to them, and ready to proceed to any +outrage, as I feared, whenever their interference might be desired, +there was abundant reason for my uneasiness. + +I now began to realize that I had some attachment to life remaining. +When I consented to visit the city, and furnish the evidence necessary +to lay open the iniquity of the Convent, I had felt, in a measure, +indifferent to life; but now, when torture and death seemed at hand, I +shrunk from it. For myself, life could not be said to be of much value. +How could I be happy with such things to reflect upon as I had passed +through? and how could I enter society with gratification? But my infant +I could not abandon, for who would care for it if its mother died. + +I was left alone in the morning by the gentlemen who had accompanied me, +as they went to take immediate measures to open the intended +investigation. Being alone I thought of my own position in every point +of view, until I became more agitated than ever. I tried to think what +persons I might safely apply to as friends; and though still undecided +what to do, I arose, thinking it might be unsafe to remain any longer +exposed, as I imagined myself, to be known and seized by my enemies. + +I went from the hotel, [Footnote: It occurred to me, that I might have +been seen by some person on landing, who might recognise me if I +appeared in the streets in the same dress; and I requested one of the +female servants to lend me some of hers. I obtained a hat and shawl from +her with which I left the house. When I found myself in Notre Dame +street, the utmost indecision what to do, and the thought of my +friendless condition almost overpowered me.] hurried along, feeling as +if I were on my way to some asylum, and thinking I would first go to the +house where I had several times previously found a temporary refuge. I +did not stop to reflect that the woman was a devoted Catholic and a +friend to the Superior; but thought only of her kindness to me on former +occasions, and hastened along Notre Dame street. But I was approaching +the Seminary; and a resolution was suddenly formed to go and ask the +pardon and intercession of the Superior. Then the character of Bishop +Lartigue seemed to present an impassable obstacle; and the disagreeable +aspect and harsh voice of the man as I recalled him, struck me with +horror. I recollected him as I had known him when engaged in scenes +concealed from the eye of the world. The thought of him made me decide +not to enter the Seminary. I hurried, therefore, by the door; and the +great church being at hand, my next thought was to enter there. I +reached the steps, walked in, dipped my finger into the holy water, +crossed myself, turned to the first image I saw, which was that of Saint +Magdalen, threw myself upon my knees, and began to repeat prayers with +the utmost fervour. I am certain that I never felt a greater desire to +find relief from any of the Saints; but my agitation hardly seemed to +subside during my exercise, which continued, perhaps, a quarter of an +hour or more. I then rose from my knees, and placed myself under the +protection of St. Magdalen and St. Peter by these words: "_Je me mets +sous votre protection_"--(I place myself under your protection;) and +added, "_Sainte Marie, mere du bon pasteur, prie pour moi_"--(Holy +Mary, mother of the good shepherd, pray for me.) + +I then resolved to call once more at the house where I had found a +retreat after, my escape from the nunnery, and proceeded along the +streets in that direction. On my way, I had to pass a shop kept by a +woman [Footnote: This was Mrs. Tarbert.] I formerly had an acquaintance +with. She happened to see me passing, and immediately said, "Maria is +that you? Come in." + +I entered, and she soon proposed to me to let her go and tell my mother +that I had returned to the city. To this I objected. I went with her, +however, to the house of one of her acquaintances near by where I +remained some time, during which she went to my mother's and came with a +request from her, that I would have an interview with her, proposing to +come up and see me, saying that she had something very particular to say +to me. What this was, I could not with any certainty conjecture. I had +my suspicions that it might be something from the priests, designed to +get me back into their power, or, at least, to suppress my testimony. + +I felt an extreme repugnance to seeing my mother, and in the distressing +state of apprehension and uncertainty in which I was, could determine on +nothing, except to avoid her. I therefore soon left the house, and +walked on without any particular object. The weather was then very +unpleasant, and it was raining incessantly. To this I was very +indifferent, and walked on till I had got to the suburbs, and found +myself beyond the windmills. Then I returned, and passed back through +the city, still not recognised by anybody. + +I once saw one of my brothers, unless I was much mistaken, and thought +he knew me. If it was he, I am confident he avoided me, and that was my +belief at the time, as he went into a yard with the appearance of much +agitation. I continued to walk up and down most of the day, fearful of +stopping anywhere, lest I should be recognised by my enemies, or +betrayed into their power. I felt all the distress of a feeble, +terrified woman, in need of protection, and, as I thought, without a +friend in whom I could safely confide. It distressed me extremely to +think of my poor babe; and I had now been so long absent from it, as +necessarily to suffer much inconvenience. + +I recollected to have been told, in the New York Hospital, that laudanum +would relieve distress both bodily and mental, by a woman who had urged +me to make a trial of it. In my despair, I resolved to make an +experiment with it, and entering an apothecary's shop asked for some. +The apothecary refused to give me any; but an old man who was there, +told me to come in, and inquired where I had been, and what was the +matter with me, seeing that I was quite wet through. I let him know that +I had an infant, and on his urging me to tell more, I told him where my +mother lived. He went out, and soon after returned accompanied by my +mother, who told me she had my child at home, and pressed me to go to +her house and see it, saying she would not insist on my entering, but +would bring it out to me. + +I consented to accompany her; but on reaching the door, she began to +urge me to go in, saying I should not be known to the rest of the +family, but might stay there in perfect privacy. I was resolved not to +comply with this request, and resisted all her entreaties, though she +continued to urge me for a long time, perhaps half an hour. At length +she went in, and I walked away, in a state no less desperate than +before. Indeed, night was now approaching, the rain continued, and I had +no prospect of food, rest, or even shelter. I went on till I reached the +parade-ground, unnoticed, I believe, by anybody, except one man, who +asked where I was going, but to whom I gave no answer. I had told my +mother, before she had left me, that she might find me in the parade- +ground. There I stopped in a part of the open ground where there was no +probability of my being observed, and stood thinking of the many +distressing things which harassed me; suffering, indeed, from exposure +to wet and cold, but indifferent to them as evils of mere trifling +importance, and expecting that death would soon ease me of my present +sufferings. I had hoped that my mother would bring my babe to me there; +but as it was growing late, I gave up all expectation of seeing her. + +At length she came, accompanied by Mr. Hoyt, who, as I afterward learnt, +had called on her after my leaving the hotel, and, at her request, had +intrusted my child to her care. Calling again after I had left her +house, she had informed him that she now knew where I was, and consented +to lead him to the spot. I was hardly able to speak or to walk, in +consequence of the hardships I had undergone; but being taken to a small +inn, and put under the care of several women, I was made comfortable +with a change of clothes and a warm bed. [Footnote: I afterward learnt, +that the two gentlemen who accompanied me from the States, had been +seeking me with great anxiety all day. I persisted in not going to my +mother's, and that was the reason why we applied to strangers for a +lodging. For some time it appeared doubtful whether I should find any +refuge for the night, as several small inns in the neighbourhood proved +to be full. At length, however, lodgings were obtained for me in one, +and I experienced kindness from the females of the house, who put me +into a warm bed, and by careful treatment soon rendered me more +comfortable. I thought I heard the voice of a woman, in the course of +the evening, whom I had seen about the nunnery, and ascertained that I +was not mistaken. I forgot to mention, that, while preparing to leave +this house the next day, Mrs. Tarbert came in and spoke with me. She +said, that she had just come from the government-house, and asked, "What +are all those men at your mother's for? what is going on there?" I told +her I could not tell. She said, "Your mother wants to speak with you +very much." I told her I would not go to her house, for I feared there +was some plan to get me into the hands of the priests. The inn in which +I was, is one near the government-house, in a block owned by the +Baroness de Montenac, or the Baroness de Longeuil, her daughter. I think +it must be a respectable house, in spite of what Mrs. Tarbert says in +her affidavit. Mrs. Tarbert is the woman spoken of several times in the +"Sequel," without being named; as I did not know how to spell her name +till her affidavit came out.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his church-- +Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him. + + +In the morning I received an invitation to go to the house of a +respectable Protestant, an old inhabitant of the city, who had been +informed of my situation; and although I felt hardly able to move, I +proceeded thither in a cariole, and was received with a degree of +kindness, and treated with such care, that I must ever retain a lively +gratitude towards the family. + +On Saturday I had a visit from Dr. Robertson, to whose house I had been +taken soon after my rescue from drowning. He put a few questions to me, +and soon withdrew. + +On Monday, after the close of mass, a Canadian man came in, and entered +into conversation with the master of the house in an adjoining room. He +was, as I understood, a journeyman carpenter, and a Catholic, and having +heard that a fugitive nun was somewhere in the city, began to speak on +the subject in French. I was soon informed that Father Phelan had just +addressed his congregation with much apparent excitement about myself; +and thus the carpenter had received his information. Father Phelan's +words, according to what I heard said by numerous witnesses at different +times, must have been much like the following:-- + +"There is a certain nun now in this city, who has left our faith, and +joined the Protestants. She has a child, of which she is ready to swear +I am the father. She would be glad in this way to take away my gown from +me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I mention +this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. The devil +has such a hold upon people now-a-days, that there is danger that some +might believe her story." + +Before he concluded his speech, as was declared, he burst into tears, +and appeared to be quite overcome. When the congregation had been +dismissed, a number of them came round him, and he told some of them, +that I was Antichrist; I was not a human being, as he was convinced, but +an evil spirit, who had got among the Catholics, and been admitted into +the nunnery, where I had learnt the rules so that I could repeat them. +My appearance, he declared, was a fulfilment of prophecy, as Antichrist +is foretold to be coming, in order to break down, if possible, the +Catholic religion. + +The journeyman carpenter had entered the house where I lodged under +these impressions, and had conversed some time on the subject, without +any suspicion that I was near. After he had railed against me with much +violence, as I afterwards learned, the master of the house informed him +that he knew something of the nun, and mentioned that she charged the +priests of the Seminary with crimes of an awful character; in reply to +which the carpenter expressed the greatest disbelief. + +"You can satisfy yourself," said the master of the house, "if you will +take the trouble to step up stairs: for she lives in my family." + +"I see her!" he exclaimed--"No, I would not see the wretched creature +for any thing. I wonder you are not afraid to have her in your house-- +she will bewitch you all--the evil spirit!" + +After some persuasion, however, he came into the room where I was +sitting, but looked at me with every appearance of dread and curiosity; +and his exclamations, and subsequent conversation, in Canadian French, +were very ludicrous. + +"Eh bien," he began on first seeing me, "c'est ici la malheureuse?" +[Well, is this the poor creature?] But he stood at a distance, and +looked at me with curiosity and evident fear. I asked him to sit down, +and tried to make him feel at his ease, by speaking in a mild and +pleasant tone. He soon became so far master of himself, as to enter into +conversation. "I understood," said he, "that she has said very hard +things against the priests. How can that be true?" "I can easily +convince you," said I, "that they do what they ought not, and commit +crimes of the kind I complain of. You are married, I suppose?" He +assented. "You confessed, I presume, on the morning of your wedding +day?" He acknowledged that he did. "Then did not the priest tell you at +confession, that he had had intercourse with your intended bride, but +that it was for her sanctification, and that you must never reproach her +with it?" + +This question instantly excited him, but he did not hesitate a moment to +answer it. "Yes," replied he; "and that looks black enough." I had put +the question to him, because I knew the practice to which I alluded had +prevailed at St. Denis while I was there, and believed it to be +universal, or at least very common in all the Catholic parishes of +Canada. I thought I had reason to presume, that every Catholic, married +in Canada, had had such experience, and that an allusion to the conduct +of the priest in this particular, must compel any of them to admit that +my declarations were far from being incredible. This was the effect on +the mind of the simple mechanic; and from that moment he made no more +serious questions concerning my truth and sincerity, during that +interview. + +Further conversation ensued, in the course of which I expressed the +willingness which I have often declared, to go into the Convent and +point out things which would confirm, to any doubting person, the truth +of my heaviest accusations against the priests and nuns. At length he +withdrew, and afterwards entered, saying that he had been to the Convent +to make inquiries concerning me. He assured me that he had been told +that although I had once belonged to the nunnery, I was called St. +Jacques, and not St. Eustace; and that now they would not own or +recognize me. Then he began to curse me, but yet sat down, as if +disposed for further conversation. It seemed, as if he was affected by +the most contrary feelings, and in rapid succession. One of the things +he said, was to persuade me to leave Montreal. "I advise you," said he, +"to go away to-morrow." I replied that I was in no haste, and might stay +a month longer. + +Then he fell to cursing me once more: but the next moment broke out +against the priests, calling them all the names he could think of. His +passion became so high against them, that he soon began to rub himself, +as the low Canadians, who are apt to be very passionate, sometimes do, +to calm their feelings, when they are excited to a painful degree. After +this explosion he again became quite tranquil, and turning to me in a +frank and friendly manner, said: "I will help you in your measures +against the priests: but tell me, first--you are going to print a book, +are you not?" "No," said I, "I have no thoughts of that." + +Then he left the house again, and soon returned, saying he had been in +the Seminary, and seen a person who had known me in the nunnery, and +said I had been only a novice, and that he would not acknowledge me now. +I sent back word by him, that I would show one spot in the nunnery that +would prove I spoke the truth. Thus he continued to go and return +several times, saying something of the kind every time, until I became +tired of him. He was so much enraged once or twice during some of the +interviews, that I felt somewhat alarmed; and some of the family heard +him swearing as he went down stairs: "Ah, sacre--that is too black!" + +He came at last, dressed up like a gentleman, and told me he was ready +to wait on me to the nunnery. I expressed my surprise that he should +expect me to go with him alone, and told him I had never thought of +going without some protector, still assuring, that with any person to +secure my return, I would cheerfully go all over the nunnery, and show +sufficient evidence of the truth of what I alleged. + +My feelings continued to vary: I was sometimes fearful, and sometimes so +courageous as to think seriously of going into the Recollet church during +mass, with my child in my arms, and calling upon the priest to own it. +And this I am confident I should have done, but for the persuasions used +to prevent me. [Footnote: I did not make up my mind (so far as I +remember), publicly to proclaim who was the father of my child, unless +required to do so, until I learnt that Father Phelan had denied it.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit taken--Legal +objection to it when taken. + + +Another person who expressed a strong wish to see me, was an Irish +milkman. He had heard, what seemed to have been pretty generally +reported, that I blamed none but the Irish priests. He put the question, +whether it was a fact that I accused nobody but Father Phelan. I told +him that it was not so; and this pleased him so well, that he told me if +I would stay in Montreal, I should have milk for myself and my child as +long as I lived. It is well known that strong antipathies have long +existed between the French and Irish Catholics in the city. + +The next day the poor Irishman returned, but in a very different state +of mind. He was present at church in the morning, he said, when Father +Phelan told the congregation that the nun of whom he had spoken before, +had gone to court and accused him; and that he, by the power he +possessed, had struck her powerless as she stood before the judge, so +that she sunk helpless on the floor. He expressed, by the motion of his +hands, the unresisting manner in which she had sunk under the mysterious +influence, and declared that she would have died on the spot, but that +he had chosen to keep her alive that she might retract her false +accusion. This, he said, she did, most humbly, before the court; +acknowledging that she had been paid a hundred pounds as a bribe. + +The first words of the poor milkman, on revisiting me, therefore, were +like these: "That's to show you what power the priest has! Didn't he +give it to you in the court? It is to be hoped you will leave the city +now." He then stated what he had heard Father Phelan say, and expressed +his entire conviction of its truth, and the extreme joy he felt on +discovering, as he supposed he had, that his own priest was innocent, +and had gained such a triumph over me. + +A talkative Irish woman also made her appearance, among those who called +at the house, and urged for permission to see me. Said she, "I have +heard dreadful things are told by a nun you have here, against the +priests; and I have to convince myself of the truth. I want to see the +nun you have got in your house." When informed that I was unwell, and +not inclined at present to see any more strangers, she still showed much +disposition to obtain an interview. "Well, ain't it too bad," she asked, +"that there should be any reason for people to say such things against +the priests?" At length she obtained admittance to the room where I was, +entered with eagerness, and approached me. + +"Arrah," she exclaimed, "God bless you--is this you? Now sit down, and +let me see the child. And is it Father Phelan's, God bless you? But they +say you tell about murders; and I want to know if they are all committed +by the Irish priests." "Oh no," replied I, "by no means." "Then God +bless you," said she. "If you will live in Montreal, you shall never +want. I will see that neither you nor your child ever want, for putting +part of the blame upon the French priests. I am going to Father Phelan, +and I shall tell him about it. But they say you are an evil spirit. I +want to know whether it is so or not." "Come here," said I, "feel me, +and satisfy yourself. Besides, did you ever hear of an evil spirit +having a child?" + +I heard from those about me, that there was great difficulty in finding +a magistrate willing to take my affidavit I am perfectly satisfied that +this was owing to the influence of the priests to prevent my accusations +against them from been made public. One evening a lawyer, who had been +employed for the purpose, accompanied me to a French justice with an +affidavit ready prepared in English, for his signature, and informed him +that he wished him to administer to me the oath. Without any apparent +suspicion of me, the justice said, "Have you heard of the nun who ran +away from the Convent, and has come back to the city, to bear witness +against the priests?" "No matter about that now," replied the lawyer +hastily; "I have no time to talk with you--you will take this person's +oath now or not?" He could not read a word of the document, because it +was not in his own language, and soon placed his signature to the +bottom. It proved, however, that we had gained nothing by this step, for +the lawyer afterward informed us, that the laws required the affidavit +of a nun or minor to be taken before a superior magistrate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections. + + +Those who had advised to the course to be pursued, had agreed to lay the +subject before the highest authorities. They soon came to the conviction +that it would be in vain to look for any favour from the Governor, and +resolved to lay it before the Attorney General as soon as he should +return from Quebec. After waiting for some time, he returned; and I was +informed, in a few days, that he had appointed an interview on the +following morning. I went at the time with a gentleman of the city, to +the house of Mr. Grant, a distinguished lawyer. In a short time a +servant invited us to walk up stairs, and we went; but after I had +entered a small room at the end of the parlour, the door was shut behind +me by Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General. A chair was given me, which was +placed with the back towards a bookcase, at which a man was standing, +apparently looking at the books; and besides the two persons I have +mentioned, there was but one more in the room, [Footnote: Unless another +was concealed--as I suspected.] Mr. Grant, the master of the house. Of +the first part of the interview I shall not particularly speak. + +The two legal gentlemen at length began a mock examination of me, in +which they seemed to me to be actuated more by a curiosity no way +commendable, than a sincere desire to discover the truth, writing down a +few of my answers. In this, however, the person behind me took no active +part. One of the questions put to me was, "What are the colours of the +carpet in the Superior's room?" + +I told what they were, when they turned to him, and inquired whether I +had told the truth. He answered only by a short grunt of assent, as if +afraid to speak, or even to utter a natural tone; and at the same time, +by his hastiness, showed that he was displeased that my answer was +correct. I was asked to describe a particular man I had seen in the +nunnery, and did so. My examiner partly turned round with some remark or +question which was answered in a similar spirit. I turned and looked at +the stranger, who was evidently skulking to avoid my seeing him, and yet +listening to every word that was said. I saw enough in his appearance to +become pretty well satisfied that I had seen him before; and something +in his form or attitude reminded me strongly of the person, whose name +had been mentioned. I was then requested to repeat some of the prayers +used in the nunnery, and repeated part of the office of the Virgin, and +some others. + +At length, after I had been in the little room, as I should judge, +nearly an hour, I was informed that the examination had been +satisfactory, and that I might go. + +I then returned home; but no further step was taken by the Attorney +General, and he refused, as I understood, to return my affidavit, which +had been left in his hands to act upon. + +Besides the persons I have mentioned, I had interviews with numbers of +others. I learnt from some, that Father Phelan addressed his +congregation a second time concerning me, and expressly forbade them to +speak to me if they should have an opportunity, on pain of +excommunication. It was also said, that he prayed for the family I lived +with, that they might be converted. + +I repeated to several different persons my willingness to go into the +nunnery, and point out visible evidences of the truth of my statements; +and when I was told, by one man, who said he had been to the priests, +that I had better leave the city, or I would be clapped into prison, I +made up my mind that I should like to be imprisoned a little while, +because then, I thought I could not be refused a public examination. + +Some Canadians were present one day, when the mistress of the house +repeated, in my presence, that I was ready to go into the nunnery if +protected, and, if I did not convince others of the truth of my +assertions, that I would consent to be burned. + +"O yes, I dare say," replied one of the men--"the devil would take her +off--she knows he would. He would take care of her--we should never be +able to get her--the evil spirit!" + +A woman present said--"I could light the fire to burn you, myself." + +A woman of Montreal, who has a niece in the nunnery, on hearing of what +I declared about it, said that if it was true she would help tear it +down. + +Among those who came to see me, numbers were at first as violent as any +I have mentioned, but after a little conversation, became mild and calm. +I have heard persons declare, that it would be no harm to kill me, as I +had an evil spirit. + +One woman told me, that she had seen Father Phelan in the street, +talking with a man, to whom he said, that the people were coming to tear +down the house in which I stayed, intending afterward to set fire to it +in the cellar. This story gave me no serious alarm, for I thought I +could see through it evidence of an intention to frighten me, and make +me leave the city. [Footnote: I felt very confident, from some +circumstances, that this woman had been sent to bring such a story by +Father Phelan; and such evidence of his timidity rather emboldened me. I +was in another room when she came, and heard her talking on and abusing +me; then coming out, I said, "How dare you say I do not speak the +truth?" "God bless you," said she, "sit down and tell me all."] I was +under great apprehensions, however, one day, in consequence of an +accidental discovery of a plan laid to take me off by force. I had +stepped into the cellar to get an iron-holder, when I heard the voices +of persons in the street above, and recognised those of my mother and +the Irish woman her friend. There was another woman with them. + +"You go in and lay hold of her," said one voice. + +"No, you are her mother--you go in and bring her out--we will help you." + +I was almost overcome with dread of falling into their hands, believing +that they would deliver me up to the Superior. Hastening into a room, I +got behind a bed, told the lady of the house the cause of my fear, and +calling to a little girl to bring me my child, I stood in a state of +violent agitation. Expecting them in the house every instant, and +fearing my infant might cry, and so lead them to the place of my +concealment, I put my hand upon its mouth to keep it quiet. + +It was thought desirable to get the testimony of the mistress of the +house where I spent the night after my escape from the nunnery, as one +means of substantiating my story. I had been there the day before my +visit to the house of Mr. Grant, accompanied by a friend, and on my +first inquiring of her about my nunnery dress, she said she had carried +it to the Superior; speaking with haste, as if she apprehended I had +some object very different from what I actually had. It now being +thought best to summon her as a witness before a magistrate, and not +knowing her whole name, we set off again towards her house to make +inquiry. + +On our way we had to pass behind the parade. I suddenly heard an outcry +from a little gallery in the rear of a house which fronts another way, +which drew my attention. "There's the nun!" exclaimed a female, after +twice clapping her hands smartly together, "There's the nun, there's the +nun!" + +I looked up, and whom should I see but the Irishwoman, who had taken so +active a part, on several occasions in my affairs, on account of her +friendship for my mother--the same who had accompanied me to Longeuil in +a boat, when I set out for New York, after making arrangements for my +journey. She now behaved as if exasperated against me to the utmost; +having, as I had no doubt, learnt the object of my journey to Montreal +since I had last spoken with her, and having all her Catholic prejudices +excited. She screamed out: "There's the nun that's come to swear +against our dear Father Phelan. Arrah, lay hold, lay hold upon her! +Catch her, kill her, pull her to pieces." + +And so saying she hurried down to the street, while a number of women, +children, and some men, came running out, and pursued after me. I +immediately took to flight, for I did not know what they might do; and +she, with the rest, pursued us, until we reached two soldiers, whom we +called upon to protect us. They showed a readiness to do so; and when +they learnt that we were merely going to a house beyond, and intended to +return peaceably, consented to accompany us. The crowd, which might +rather be called a mob, thought proper not to offer us any violence in +the presence of the soldiers, and after following us a little distance, +began to drop off, until all had disappeared. One of the soldiers, +however, soon after remarked, that he observed a man following us, whom +he had seen in the crowd, and proposed that instead of both of them +going before us, one should walk behind, to guard against any design he +might have. This was done; and we proceeded to a house near the one +where I had found a refuge, and after obtaining the information we +sought, returned, still guarded by the soldiers. + +All our labour, in this, however, proved unavailing; for we were unable +to get the woman to appear in court. + +At length it was found impossible to induce the magistrates to do any +thing in the case; and arrangements were made for my return to New York. +While in the ferry-boat, crossing from Montreal to Laprairie, I happened +to be standing near two little girls, when I overheard, the following +conversation. + +"Why do you leave Montreal so soon?" + +"I had gone to spend a week or two; but I heard that Antichrist was in +the city, and was afraid to be there. So I am going right home. I would +not be in Montreal while Antichrist is there. He has come to destroy the +Catholic religion." I felt quite happy when I found myself once more +safe in New York; and it has only been since my return from Montreal, +and the conviction I had there formed, that it was in vain for me to +attempt to get a fair investigation into the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, that I +seriously thought of publishing a book. Under some disadvantages this +volume has been prepared, and unfortunately its publication has been +delayed to a season when it will be difficult to transmit it promptly to +all parts of the country. I am sure, however, that in spite of all, no +material errors will be found in it uncorrected, though many, very many, +facts and circumstances might have been added which would have proved +interesting. Indeed I am persuaded, from the experience I have already +had, that past scenes, before forgotten, will continue to return to my +memory, the longer I dwell upon my convent life, and that many of these +will tend to confirm, explain, or illustrate some of the statements now +before the public. + +But before I close this volume, I must he indulged in saying a word of +myself. The narrative through which the reader has now passed, he must +not close and lay aside as if it were a fiction; neither would I wish +him to forget the subject of it as one worthy only to excite surprise +and wonder for a moment. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +It is desired that the author of this volume may be regarded, not as a +voluntary participator in the very guilty transactions which are +described; but receive sympathy for the trials which she has endured, +and the peculiar situation in which her past experience, and escape from +the power of the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, and +the snares of the Roman priests in Canada, have left her. + +My feelings are frequently distressed, and agitated, by the recollection +of what I have passed through; and by night, and by day, I have little +peace of mind, and few periods of calm and pleasant reflection. Futurity +also appears uncertain. I know not what reception this little work may +meet with; and what will be the effect of its publication here, or in +Canada, among strangers, friends, or enemies. I have given the world the +truth, so far as I have gone, on subjects of which I am told they are +generally ignorant; and I feel perfect confidence, that any facts which +may yet be discovered, will confirm my words, whenever they can be +obtained. Whoever shall explore the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, +will find unquestionable evidence that the descriptions of the interior +of that edifice, given in this book, were furnished by one familiar with +them; for whatever alterations may be attempted, there are changes which +no mason or carpenter can make and effectually conceal; and therefore, +there must be plentiful evidence in that institution of the truth of my +description. + +There are living witnesses, also, who ought to be made to speak, without +fear of penances, tortures, and death; and possibly their testimony, at +some future time, may be added to confirm my statements. There are +witnesses I should greatly rejoice to see at liberty; or rather there +_were_. Are they living now? or will they be permitted to live +after the Priests and Superior have seen this book? Perhaps the wretched +nuns in the cells have already suffered for my sake--perhaps Jane Ray +has been silenced for ever, or will be murdered, before she has an +opportunity to add her most important testimony to mine. + +But speedy death, in respect only to this world, can be no great +calamity to those who lead the life of a nun. The mere recollection of +it always makes me miserable. It would distress the reader, should I +repeat the dreams with which I am often terrified at night; for I +sometimes fancy myself pursued by my worst enemies; frequently I seem as +if shut up again in the Convent; often I imagine myself present at the +repetition of the worst scenes that I have hinted at or described. +Sometimes I stand by the secret place of interment in the cellar; +sometimes I think I can hear the shrieks of helpless females in the +hands of atrocious men; and sometimes almost seem actually to look again +upon the calm and placid countenance of Saint Francis, as she appeared +when surrounded by her murderers. + +I cannot banish the scenes and characters of this book from my memory. +To me it can never appear like an amusing fable, or lose its interest +and importance, the story is one which is continually before me, and +must return fresh to my mind, with painful emotions, as long as I live. +With time, and Christian instruction, and the sympathy and example of +the wise and good, I hope to learn submissively to bear whatever trials +are appointed for me, and to improve under them all. + +Impressed as I continually am with the frightful reality of the painful +communications that I have made in this volume, I can only offer to all +persons who may doubt or disbelieve my statements, these two things:-- + +Permit me to go through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, with some +impartial ladies and gentlemen, that they may compare my account with +the interior parts of that building, into which no persons but the Roman +Bishop and the priests, [Footnote: I should have added, and such persons +as they introduce.] are ever admitted; and if they do not find my +description true, then discard me as an impostor. Bring me before a +court of justice--there I am willing to meet _Lartigue, Dufresne, +Phelan, Bonin_, and _Richards_, and their wicked companions, +with the Superior, and any of the nuns, before ten thousand men. + +MARIA MONK. + +_New York, 11th January, 1836._ + + + + +THE TRUTH + +of the + +"AWFUL DISCLOSURES BY MARIA MONK" + +DEMONSTRATED. + +1. _Early means used to discredit the took. Different of +objectors_.--It was anticipated that persons who know little or +nothing of the changeless spirit and uniform practices of the Papal +ecclesiastics, would doubt or deny the statements which Maria Monk has +given of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. The delineations, if true, +are so loathsome and revolting, that they exhibit the principles of the +Roman priesthood, and the corruption of the monastic system, as +combining a social curse, which must be extinguished for the welfare of +mankind. + +From the period when the intimations were first published in the +Protestant Vindicator, that a Nun had escaped from one of the Convents +in Canada, and that a narrative of the secrets of that prison-house for +females was preparing for the press; attempts have occasionally been +made to prejudice the public judgment, by fulsome eulogies of the Roman +Priests and Nuns, as paragons of immaculate perfection; and also by +infuriated denunciations and calumnies of all persons, who seriously +believe that every human institution which directly violates the +constitution of nature, and the express commands of God, must +necessarily be immoral. + +The system of seclusion and celibacy adopted in Convents is altogether +unnatural, and subverts all the appointments of Jehovah in reference to +the duties and usefulness of man; while the impenetrable secrecy, which +is the cement of the gloomy superstructure, not only extirpates every +incentive to active virtue, but unavoidably opens the flood-gates of +wickedness, without restraint or remorse, because it secures entire +impunity. + +Since the publication of the "Awful Disclosures," much solicitude has +been felt for the result of the exhibitions which they present us: but +it is most remarkable, that the incredulity is confined almost +exclusively to Protestants, or at least, to those who pretend not to be +Papists. The Roman Priests are too crafty to engage directly in any +controversy respecting the credibility of Maria Monk's narrative. As +long as they can induce the Roman Catholics privately to deny the +statements, and to vilify Christians as the inventors of falsehoods +concerning "the Holy Church and the Holy Priests!" so long will they +laugh at the censures of the Protestants; and as long as they can +influence the Editors of political papers vociferously to deny +evangelical truth, and to decry every attempt to discover the secrets of +the Romish priestcraft as false and uncharitable, so long will the +Jesuits ridicule and despise that incredulity which is at once so +blinding, deceitful, and dangerous. + +The volume entitled "Awful Disclosures by Maria Monk," has been assailed +by two classes of Objectors. Some persons affirm that they cannot, and +that they will not believe her narrative, because it is so improbable. +Who is to judge of the standard of improbabilities? Assuredly not they +who are ignorant of the whole subject to which those improbabilities +advert. Now it is certain, that persons who are acquainted with Popery, +are generally convinced, and readily agree, that Maria Monk's narrative, +is very much assimilated to the abstract view which a sound judgment, +enlightened by the Holy Scriptures, would form of that antichristian +system, as predicted by the prophet Daniel, and the apostles, Peter, +Paul, and John. + +2. _The question of Probability_.--But the question of +probabilities may be tested by another fact; and that is the full, +unshaken conviction, and the serious declaration of many persons who +have lived in Canada, that Maria Monk's allegations against the Roman +Priests and Nuns in that province, are precisely the counterpart of +their ordinary character, spirit, and practice. There are many persons +now residing in the city of New York, who long dwelt in Montreal and +Quebec; and who are thoroughly acquainted with the situation of affairs +among the Canadian Papists--and such of them as are known, with scarcely +a dissenting voice, proclaim the same facts which every traveller, who +has any discernment or curiosity, learns when he makes the northern +summer tour. It is also indubitable, that intelligent persons in Canada +generally, especially residents in Montreal and Quebec, who have no +inducement either to falsify or to conceal the truth, uniformly testify, +that the nunneries in those cities are notorious places of resort for +the Roman Priests for habitual and unrestrained licentiousness; that, +upon the payment of the stipulated price to the Chaplain, other persons, +in the disguise of Priests, are regularly admitted within the Convents +for the same infamous purpose; and that many Infants and Nuns, in +proportion to the aggregate amount of the whole body of females, are +annually murdered and buried within their precincts. All this turpitude +is as assuredly believed by the vast majority of the enlightened +Protestants, as well as by multitudes of even the Papists in Montreal +and Quebec, as their own existence; and judging from their declarations, +they have no more doubt of the fact, than they have of the summer's +sunshine, and the winter's frost and snow. Of what value, therefore, is +the cavil of ignorance respecting improbabilities? + +But it is also objected, that the British government would not tolerate +such a system of enormous wickedness. To which it is replied, that the +inordinate licentiousness of the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +demonstrated to be of long standing by the archives of that Province, as +may be seen in Smith's History of Canada; year 1733, Chapter 5, p. 194. + +The author of that work is Secretary of the Province; and his narrative +was compiled immediately from the public documents, which are under his +official guardianship and control. He thus writes:--"The irregularities +and improper conduct of the Nuns of the General Hospital had been the +subject of much regret and anxiety. Contrary to every principle of +their institution, they frequently accepted of invitations to dinners +and suppers, and mixed in society, without considering the vows which +restricted them to their Convent. The king of France directed a letter, +Maurepas' letter of April 9, 1733, to be written to the Coadjutor of +Quebec, by the minister having the department of the Marine; importing +that the king was much displeased with the Nuns--that regularity and +order might be restored by reducing the nuns to the number of twelve, +according to their original establishment--and that, as the management +and superintendence of the community had been granted to the Governor, +Prelate, and Intendant, the Coadjutor should take the necessary measures +to prevent them from repeating conduct so indecent and improper." + +The entire affair seems to have been this; that the Nuns of Quebec at +that period preferred the gallant military officers, and their +bewitching festivities, to the coarser and less diversified indulgences +of the Jesuits; upon which the latter murmured, and resolved to hinder +the soldiers from intruding into their fold, and among the cloistered +females, to visit whom they claimed as their own peculiar privilege, +inseparably attached to their priestly character and ecclesiastical +functions. It is infallibly certain that after a lapse of 100 years, +neither the Jesuits nor the Nuns in Canada, are in the smallest particle +reformed. + +The British government, by the treaty made upon the surrender of that +province to them, guarantied to the Papal Ecclesiastics, both male and +female, their prior exemptions and special immunities. Many of the +officers of the Government in Canada, who have long resided there, are +anxious to see the nunneries and their adjuncts totally extirpated; and +it may be safely asserted that they know the character given of those +institutions by Maria Monk is a graphical picture of their continuous +doings. + +The British government, for the purpose of retaining their supremacy +over the province, have not only connived at those irregularities, but +have always enjoined that the public sanction should be given to their +puerile shows, and their pageant, pompous processions by the attendance +of the civil and military officers upon them, and by desecrating the +Lord's day with martial music, &c. In this particular affair, the +executive officers of the Provincial Government are fully apprised of +all the substantial facts in the case; for an affidavit of the principal +circumstances was presented to Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General of +Canada, and to Mr. Grant, another of the King's counsellors: and +afterward Maria Monk did undergo an examination by those gentlemen, in +the house of Mr. Grant, at Montreal, in the presence of Mr. Comte, one +of the superior order of priests of that city; and of another Priest, +believed to be either Phelan or Dufresne, who was concealed behind the +sofa. + +It is also incontrovertible, that the nominal Papists in Canada, who, in +reality, are often infidels, notwithstanding their jocose sneers, and +affected contempt, do generally believe every title of Maria Monk's +narrative. This is the style in which they talk of it. They first, +according to custom, loudly curse the authors; for to find a Papist +infidel who does not break the third commandment, is as difficult as to +point out a moral Roman Priest or a chaste Nun. They first swear at the +author, and then, with a hearty laugh, add the following illustration:-- +"Everybody knows that the Priests are a jolly set of fellows, who live +well, and must have license, or they would be contrary to nature. They +have the privilege of going into the nunneries, and they would be great +fools if they did not use and enjoy it!" Such is the exact language +which is adopted among the Canadians; and such are the precise words +which have been used by Canadian gentlemen in New York, when criticising +Maria Monk's volume. It affords stronger proof than a direct +attestation. + +The other class of persons who verily believe the "Awful Disclosures," +are the religious community in Canada. We think that scarcely a well- +informed person can be discovered in Montreal or Quebec, who does not +feel assured, that the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery is most +faithfully depicted by Maria Monk. Many persons are now inhabitants of +New York who formerly resided in Montreal, some of whom have been upon +terms of familiar intimacy for years with those Roman Priests, who are +specified as the principal actors in the scenes depicted in that book; +and they most solemnly declare, that they have no doubt of the truth of +Maria Monk's narrative. + +Mr. _Samuel B. Smith_, who has been not only a Roman Priest, but +has had several _cages of nuns_ under his sole management, +questioned Maria Monk expressly respecting those affairs, customs and +ceremonies, which appertain only to nunneries, because they cannot be +practiced by any other females but those who are shut up in those +dungeons; and, after having minutely examined her, he plainly averred +that it was manifest she could not have known the things which she +communicated to him unless she had been a nun; not merely a scholar, or +a temporary resident, or even a novice, but a nun, who had taken the +veil, in the strictest sense of the appellative. This testimony is of +the more value, because the conclusion does not depend upon any +conflicting statements, of partial or prejudicial witnesses, but upon a +fact which is essential to the system of monachism; that no persons can +know all the secrets of nunneries, but the Chaplain, the Abbess, and +their accomplices in that "mystery of iniquity." Mr. Smith's declaration +in one other respect is absolutely decisive. He has declared not only +that Maria Monk has been a nun, but also that the descriptions which she +gives are most minutely accurate. + +Mr. Smith also testifies that the account which Maria Monk gives of the +proceedings of the priests, the obscene questions which they ask young +females, and their lewd practices with them at auricular confession, are +constantly exemplified by the Roman Priests; and he also confirms her +statements, by the testimony of his own individual experience, and +actual personal acquaintance with the Canadian nunneries, as well as +with those in the United States, and especially of that at Monroe, +Michigan, which was dissolved by Mr. Fenwick, on account of scandalous +impurity, several years ago. + +Mrs. ----, a widow lady now in New York, who formerly was a Papist in +Montreal, and was recently converted to Christianity, solemnly avers, +that the Priest Richards himself, conducted her from the Seminary +through the subterraneous passage to the nunnery, and describes the +whole exactly in accordance with the statement of Maria Monk. + +_Mr. Lloyd_, who was in business a number of years adjacent to the +nunnery, and who is intimately acquainted with those priests, their +characters, principles, and habits, avows his unqualified conviction of +the truth of the "Awful Disclosures." + +_Mr. Hogan_, who was eighteen months in the Jesuit Seminary at +Montreal, and in constant intercourse and attendance upon Lartigue and +his accomplices, unequivocally affirms, that Maria Monk's complex +description of those Priests are most minutely and accurately true. + +One hundred other persons probably can be adduced, who, during their +residence in Canada, or on their tours to that province, by inquiries +ascertained that things in accordance with Maria Monk's delineations are +the undoubted belief of each class of persons, and of every variety of +condition, and in all places which they visited in Lower Canada. + +_Mr. Greenfield_, the father of the gentleman who owns the two +steamboats on the river St. Lawrence, called the Lady of the Lake, and +the Canadian Eagle, who is a citizen of New York, avows his unqualified +assent to all Maria Monk's statements, and most emphatically adds-- +_"Maria Monk has not disclosed one tenth part of the truth respecting +the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada."_ + +Fifty other persons from that province, now residing in New York, +likewise attest the truth of the "Disclosures." + +At Sorel, Berthier, and Three Rivers, the usual stopping-places for the +steamboats on the River St. Lawrence, the Priests, if they have any +cause to be at the wharf, may be seen accompanied by one or more +children, their _"Nephews,"_ as the Priests _facetiously_ +denominate their offspring; and if any person on the steamboat should be +heard expatiating upon the piety, the temperance, the honesty, or the +purity of Roman Priests and Nuns, he would be laughed at outright, +either as a _natural_ or an ironical jester; while the priest +himself would join in the merriment, as being a "capital joke." + +We are assured by the most indisputable authority in Montreal, that the +strictly religious people in that city do generally credit Maria Monk's +statements without hesitation; and the decisive impression of her +veracity can never be removed. If it were possible at once to reform the +nunneries, and to transform them from castles of ignorance, uncleanness, +and murder, where all their arts are concealed in impervious secrecy, +into abodes of wisdom, chastity, and benevolence to every recess of +which all persons, at every hour, might have unrestricted admission-- +that would not change the past; it would leave them indelibly branded +with the emphatical title applied to the nunnery at Charlestown, +"FILTHY, MURDEROUS DENS." + +3. _Who are those who deny the truth of the book? Case of Father +Conroy. Father Conroy's deception._ + +In addition to the objections from improbability, another series of +opposition consists of flat, broad denials of the truth of Maria Monk's +"Awful Disclosures." This mode of vanquishing direct charges is even +more invalid than the former futile cavilling. It is also remarkable, +when we remember who are the persons that deny the statements made by +Maria Monk. Are they the Roman Priests implicated? Not at all. They are +too crafty. The only persons who attempt to hint even a suspicion of the +truth of the secrets divulged in the "Awful Disclosures," are editors of +Newspapers: some of whom are ever found on the side of infidelity and +vice; men always reproaching religion; and directly calumniating, or +scornfully ridiculing the best Christians in the land; and profoundly +ignorant of Popery and Jesuitism, and the monastic system. + +It is true that Priest Conroy of New York, has contradicted in general +terms the truth of the statement respecting himself, and his attempt to +abduct Maria Monk from the Almshouse. But what does he deny? He is +plainly charged, in the "Awful Disclosures," with a protracted endeavor, +_by fraud or by force to remove Maria Monk from that institution_. +Now that charge involves a flagrant misdemeanor, or it is a wicked and +gross libel. Let him answer the following questions: + +Did he not frequently visit the house, and lurk about at various times, +for longer and shorter periods, expressly to have an interview with +Maria Monk? + +Did he not state that he was acquainted with her by the name she bore in +the nunnery, _Sainte Eustace_. + +Did he not declare that he was commissioned by Lartigue, Phelan, +Dufresne, Kelly, and the Abbess of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, +to obtain a possession of her, that she might be sent back to the abode +of the Furies? + +Did he not offer her any thing she pleased to demand, provided she would +reside with the Ursulines of this city? + +Did he not also declare that he would have her at all risks, and that +she could not escape him? + +Did he not persevere in this course of action, until he was positively +assured that she would not see him, and that the Priest Conroy should +not have access to Maria Monk? + +Was not the priest Kelly, from Canada, in New York at that period, +prompting Conroy; and did not that same Kelly come on here expressly to +obtain possession of Maria Monk, that he might carry her back to the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, there to murder her, as his accomplices have +smothered, poisoned, and bled to death other victims of their beastly +licentiousness? + +All these questions are implied in Maria Monk's statement, and they +involve the highest degree of crime against the liberty, rights, and +life of Maria Monk, and the laws of New York, and the charge is either +true or false. Why does not the Priest Conroy try it? Why does he not +demonstrate that he is calumniated, by confronting the Authoress and +Publishers of the book before an impartial jury. We are assured that the +Executive committee of the New York Protestant Association will give ten +dollars to any Lawyer, whom Mr. Conroy will authorize to institute a +civil suit for libel, payable at the termination of the process. Will he +subject the question to that scrutiny? _Never_. He would rather +follow the example of his fellow priests, and depart from New York. Many +of the Maynooth Jesuits, after having fled from Ireland for their +crimes, to this country, to avoid the punishments due to them for the +repetition of them in the United States, and to elude discovery, have +assumed false names and gone to France; or in disguise have joined their +dissolute companions in Canada. + +It is also a fact, that the Priest, named Quarter, with one of his +minions, did visit the house where Maria Monk resides, on the 13th day +of February, 1836; and did endeavor to see her alone, under the false +pretext of delivering to her a packet from her brother in Montreal; and +as an argument for having an interview with her without company, one of +the two impostors did protest that he had a parcel from John Monk; which +"he had sworn not to deliver except into the hands of his sister in +person." Now what object had Mr. Quarter in view; and what was his +design in going to her residence between nine and ten o'clock at night, +under a lying pretence? Mr. Quarter comes from Canada. He knows all the +Priests of Montreal. For what purpose did he assume a fictitious +character, and utter base and wilful falsehoods, that, he might have +access to her, with another man, when Maria Monk, as they hoped, would +be without a protector? For what ignoble design did he put an old Truth +Teller into a parcel, and make his priest-ridden minion declare that it +was a very valuable packet of letters from John Monk? That strange +contrivance requires explanation. Did Priest Quarter believe that Maria +Monk was in Montreal? Did he doubt her personal identity? Does not that +fact alone verity that all the Roman Priests are confederated? Does it +not prove that her delineations are correct? Does it not evince that the +Papal Ecclesiastics dread the disclosures? + +4. _The great ultimate test which the nature of this case demands. +Challenge of the New York Protestant Association_.--It is readily +admitted, that the heinous charges which are made by Maria Monk against +the Roman priests cannot easily be rebutted in the usual form of +disproving criminal allegations. The denial of those Priests is good for +nothing, and they cannot show an alibi. But there is one mode of +destroying Maria Monk's testimony, equally _prompt_ and +_decisive_, and no other way is either feasible, just, or can be +efficient. That method is the plan proposed by the New York Protestant +Association. + +The Hotel Dieu Nunnery is in Montreal. Here is Maria Monk's description +of its interior apartments and passages. She offers to go to Montreal +under the protection of a committee of four members of the New York +Protestant Association, and in company with four gentlemen of Montreal, +to explore the Nunnery; and she also voluntarily proposes that if her +descriptions of the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery are not found to +be true, she will surrender herself to Lartigue and his confederates to +torture her in what way they may please, or will bear the punishment of +the civil laws as a base and wilful slanderer of the Canadian Jesuit +Ecclesiastics. + +When Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, Phelan, Richards, and their fellows, +accede to this proposition, we shall hesitate respecting Maria Monk's +veracity; until then, by all impartial and intelligent judges, and by +enlightened Protestants and Christians, the "Awful Disclosures" will be +pronounced undeniable facts. The scrutiny, however, respecting Maria +Monk's credibility comprises two general questions, to which we shall +succinctly reply. + +1. _Was Maria Monk a Nun in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal?_-- +In ordinary cases, to dispute respecting a circumstance of that kind +would be deemed a most strange absurdity; and almost similar to an +inquiry into a man's personal identity when his living form is before +your eyes. Maria Monk says she was a nun, presents you a book +descriptive of the Convent in which she resided, and leaves the fact of +her abode there to be verified by the minute accuracy of her +delineations of arcana, with which only the visiting Roman Priests and +the imprisoned nuns are acquainted. That test, neither Lartigue nor the +Priests will permit to be applied; and therefore, so far, Maria Monk's +testimony cannot directly be corroborated. It is however not a little +remarkable, that no one of all the persons so boldly impeached by her of +the most atrocious crimes, has, even whispered a hint that she was not a +nun; while the priest Conroy has confirmed that fact far more certainly +than if he had openly asserted its truth. + +5. _The Testimony of Mrs. Monk considered._--The only evidence +against that fact is her mother. Now it is undeniable, that her mother +is a totally incompetent witness. She is known in Montreal to be a woman +of but little principle; and her oath in her daughter's favour would be +injurious to her; for she is so habitually intemperate, that it is +questionable whether she is ever truly competent to explain any matters +which come under her notice. Truth requires this declaration, although +Maria, with commendable filial feelings, did not hint at the fact. +Besides, during a number of years past, she has exhibited a most +unnatural aversion, or rather animosity, to her daughter; so that to her +barbarous usage of Maria when a child, may be imputed the subsequent +scenes through which she has passed. When appealed to respecting her +daughter, her uniform language was such as this--"I do not care what +becomes of her, or who takes her, or where she goes, or what is done to +her, provided she keeps away from me." It is also testified by the most +unexceptionable witnesses in Montreal, that when Maria Monk went to that +city in August, 1835, and first made known her case, that Mrs. Monk +repeatedly declared, that her daughter had been a Nun; and that she had +been in the Nunneries at Montreal a large portion of her life. She also +avowed, that the offer of bribery that had been made unto her, had been +made, not by Protestants, to testify that her daughter Maria had been an +inmate of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery; but by the Roman Priests, who had +promised her one hundred dollars, if she would make an affidavit that +Maria had not been in that nunnery at all; and would also swear to any +other matters which they dictated. Now there is little room for doubt, +that the affidavit to the truth of which she finally swore was thus +obtained; for she has not capacity to compose such a narrative, nor has +she been in a state of mind, for a number of years past, to understand +the details which have thus craftily been imposed upon the public in her +name. When she had no known inducement to falsify the fact in August, +1835, before the Priests became alarmed, then she constantly affirmed +that her daughter had been a Nun; but after Lartigue and his companions +were assured that her daughter's narrative would appear, then the mother +was probably bribed, formally to swear to a wilful falsehood; for it is +most probable, that she either did not see, or from intoxication could +not comprehend, the contents of the paper to which her signature is +affixed. Her habitual intemperance, her coarse impiety, her long- +indulged hatred and cruelty towards her daughter, and her flat self- +contradictions, with her repeated and public declarations, that she had +been offered a large sum of money by the Montreal Priests, thus to +depreciate her daughter's allegations, and to attest upon oath precisely +the contrary to that which she had previously declared, to persons whose +sole object was to ascertain the truth--all those things demonstrate +that Mrs. Monk's evidence is of no worth; and yet that is all the +opposite evidence which can be adduced. + +6. _Testimony in favour of the book_.--Mr. Miller the son of Adam +Miller, a well known teacher at St. John's, who has known Maria Monk +from her childhood, and who is now a resident of New York, solemnly +attests, that in the month of August, 1833, he made inquiries of Mrs. +Monk respecting her daughter Maria, and that Mrs. Monk informed him that +Maria was then a _Nun!_ that she had taken the veil previous to +that conversation, and that she had been in the nunnery for a number of +years. Mr. Miller voluntarily attests to that fact. He was totally +ignorant of Maria Monk's being out of the Nunnery at Montreal, until he +saw her book, and finally by searching out her place of abode, renewed +the acquaintance with her which had existed between them from the period +when she attended his father's school in her childhood. See the +affidavit of William Miller. + +When Maria Monk made her escape, as she states, from the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, she took refuge in the house of a woman named Lavalliere in +Elizabeth street, Montreal, the second or third door from the corner of +what is commonly called "the Bishop's Church." Madame Lavalliere +afterward admitted, that Maria Monk did arrive at her house at the time +specified, in the usual habiliments of a Nun, and made herself known as +an eloped Nun; that she provided her with other clothing; and that she +afterward carried the Nun's garments to the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +After her escape, Maria Monk narrates that she went on board a steamboat +for Quebec, intending thereby to avoid being seized and again +transferred to the Nunnery, that she was recognised by the Captain, was +kept under close watch during the whole period of the stay of that boat +at Quebec, and merely by accident escaped the hands of the Priests, by +watching for an unexpected opportunity to gain the shore during the +absence of the Captain, and the momentary negligence of the female +attendant in the cabin. The woman was called Margaret ----, the other +name is forgotten. The name of the Master of the steamboat is probably +known and he has never pretended to deny that statement, that he did +thus detain Maria Monk, would not permit her to go on shore at Quebec, +and that he also conducted her back to Montreal; having suspected or +ascertained that she was a Nun who had clandestinely escaped from a +Convent. + +7. _Corroborative evidence unintentionally furnished by the opponents +of the book_.--After her flight from the steamboat, she was found +early in the morning, in a very perilous situation, either on the banks, +or partly in Lachine Canal, and was committed to the public prison by +Dr. Robertson, whence she was speedily released through the intervention +of Mr. Esson, one of the Presbyterian ministers of Montreal. Upon this +topic, her statement coincides exactly with that of Dr. Robertson. + +But he also states--"Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria +Monk's story, I thought it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry +concerning it, and have ascertained where she has been residing a great +part of the time she states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During +the summer of 1832, she was at service at William Henry; the winters of +1832-3, she passed in this neighborhood at St. Ours and St. Denis." + +That is most remarkable testimony, because, although Papists may justly +be admitted to know nothing of times and dates, unless by their +Carnivals, their Festivals, their Lent, or their Penance--yet Protestant +Magistrates might be more precise. Especially, as it is a certain fact, +that no person at Sorel can be discovered, who is at all acquainted with +such a young woman in service in the summer of 1832. It is true, she did +reside at St. Denis or St. Ours, as the _Roman Priests can +testify_; but not at the period specified by Dr. Robertson. + +For the testimony of a decisive witness in favour of Maria Monk, see the +statement of an old schoolmate in Appendix. + +8. _Summary view of the evidence_.--Let us sum up this +contradictory evidence respecting the simple fact, whether Maria Monk +was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery or not? + +Her mother says--"I denied that my daughter had ever been in a Nunnery." +Dr. Robertson informed us--"I have ascertained where she has been +residing a great part of the time she states having been an inmate of +the Nunnery." That is all which can be adduced to contradict Maria +Monk's statement. + +This is a most extraordinary affair, that a young woman's place of abode +cannot be accurately discovered during several years, when all the +controversy depends upon the fact of that residence. Why did not Dr. +Robertson specify minutely with whom Maria Monk lived at service at +William Henry, in the summer of 1832?--Why did not Dr. Robertson exactly +designate where, and with whom, she resided at St. Denis and St. Ours, +in the winters of 1832 and 1833? The only answer to these questions is +this--_Dr. Robertson cannot_. He obtained his contradictory +information most probably from her mother, or from the Priest Kelly, and +then embodied it in his affidavit to regain that favour and popularity +with the Montreal Papists which he has so long lost. We are convinced +that neither the evidence of Mrs. Monk, nor Dr. Robertson, would be of a +feather's weight in a court of justice against the other witnesses, Mrs. +----, and Mr. William Miller. + +Maria Monk asserts, that she was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery +during the period designated by Dr. Robertson, which is familiarly +denominated the Cholera summer. In her narrative she develops a variety +of minute and characteristic details of proceedings in that Institution, +connected with things which all persons in Montreal know to have +actually occurred, and of events which it is equally certain did happen, +and which did not transpire anywhere else; and which is impossible could +have taken place at Sorel or William Henry; because there is no Nunnery +there; and consequently her descriptions would be purely fabricated and +fictitious. + +But the things asserted are not inventions of imagination. No person +could thus delineate scenes which he had not beheld; and therefore Maria +Monk witnessed them; consequently, she was a member of that family +community; for the circumstances which she narrates nowhere else +occurred. At all events, it seems more reasonable to suppose that an +individual can more certainly tell what had been his own course of life, +than persons who, by their own admission, know nothing of the subject; +and especially when her statements are confirmed by such unexceptionable +witnesses. There are, however, two collateral points of evidence which +strongly confirm Maria Monk's direct statements. One is derived from the +very character of the acknowledgments which she made, and the period +when they were first disclosed. "A death-bed," says the Poet, "is a +detector of the heart." Now it is certain, that the appalling facts +which she states, were not primarily made in a season of hilarity, or +with any design to "make money" by them, or with any expectation that +they would be known to any other person than Mr. Hilliker, Mr. Tappan, +and a few others at Bellevue; but when there was no anticipation that +her life would be prolonged, and when agonized with the most dreadful +retrospection and prospects. + +It is not possible to believe, that any woman would confess those facts +which are divulged by Maria Monk, unless from dread of death and the +judgment to come, or from the effect of profound Christian penitence. +Feminine repugnance would be invincible. Thus, the alarm of eternity, +her entrance upon which appeared to be so immediate, was the only cause +of those communications; which incontestably prove, that Nunneries are +the very nurseries of the most nefarious crimes, and the most abandoned +transgressors. + +The other consideration is this--that admitting the statements to be +true, Maria Monk could not be unconscious of the malignity of Roman +Priests, and of her own danger; and if her statements were fictitious, +she was doubly involving herself in irreparable disgrace and ruin. In +either case, as long as she was in New York she was personally safe; and +as her disclosures had been restricted to very few persons, she might +have withdrawn from the public institution, and in privacy have passed +away her life, "alike unknowing and unknown." Lunacy itself could only +have instigated a woman situated as she was, to visit Montreal, and +there defy the power, and malice, and fury of the Roman Priests, and +their myrmidons; by accumulating upon them charges of rape, infanticide, +the affliction of the tortures of the Inquisition, and murders of cold- +blooded ferocity in the highest degree, with all the atrocious +concomitant iniquities which those prolific sins include. + +Now it is certain, that she was not deranged; and she was not forced. +She went deliberately, and of her own accord, to meet the Popish Priests +upon the spot where their crimes are perpetrated, and the stronghold of +their power. Whether that measure was the most prudent and politic for +herself, and the most wise and efficient for the acquisition of the +avowed object, may be disputed; but the exemplary openness and the +magnanimous daring of that act cannot be controverted. + +The narrative, pages 116 to l27, respecting the cholera and the election +riots at Montreal, both which scenes happened at the period when Dr. +Robertson says Maria Monk was at William Henry, or St. Denis, or St. +Ours; could not have been described, at least that part of it respecting +the wax candles, and the preparation for defence, except by a resident +of the Nunnery. + +It is a public, notorious fact, that "blessed candles" were made, and +sold by the Nuns, and used at Montreal under the pretext to preserve the +houses from the Cholera, and to drive it away; that those candles were +directed so to be kept burning by the pretended injunction of the Pope; +and that large quantities of the Nunnery candles were dispersed about +Montreal and its vicinity, which were fixed at a high price; and whoever +suffered by the Cholera, the Nuns and their Masters, the Priests, could +truly say--"By this craft we have our wealth." Acts 19:25. It is +obvious, that a young Papist woman at service at William Henry, could +know no more of those matters, than if she had been at Labrador; for the +incidental remark with which that part of the narrative commences, is +one of those apparently superfluous intimations, which it is evident a +person who was writing a fiction would not introduce; and yet it is so +profoundly characteristic of a Canadian Convent, that its very simple +artlessness at once obliterates Dr. Robertson's affidavit. "There were a +few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing that was +happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not extend out +of the city." We cannot be infallibly certain of Maria Monk's +description of the interior of the Nunnery; but that unpremeditated +remark, so minutely descriptive of the predominating ignorance among the +Nuns of all terrestrial concerns exterior of the Convent, is +satisfactory proof that the narrator was not sketching from fancy, but +depicting from actual life. + +From those testimonies, direct and unintentional, it is fully evident, +that Maria Monk was a long resident, and is profoundly acquainted with +the doings in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal. + +II. What collateral evidence can be adduced of the truth of the "Awful +Disclosures" by Maria Monk? + +1. One corroborative testimony is derived from the _silence of the +Roman Priests and their avowed partisans_. Months have passed away +since the first statements of those matters were made, and also the +defence of the Priests, with the affidavits and other connected +circumstances, were presented to the public in the Protestant +Vindicator. One of the persons in Montreal, who was in favour of the +Jesuits, Mr. Doucet, stated that "the Priests never take up such things; +they allow their character to defend itself." There was a time when that +contemptuous course would have sufficed, or rather, when to have spoken +the truth of the Roman Priests would have cost a man his life, and +overwhelmed his family in penury, disgrace, and anguish. The Canadian +Jesuits may be assured that time has passed away, never more to return. +They must take up this thing; for their characters cannot defend +themselves; and every enlightened man in Canada knows, that in a moral +aspect, they cannot be defended. + +Argument, denial, affidavits, if they could reach from Montreal to New +York, and the oaths of every Papist and Infidel in Canada,--from Joseph +Signay, the Popish Prelate of Quebec and Jean Jacques Lartigue, the +Suffragan of Montreal, down to the most profligate of the half-pay +military officers, among whom are to be found some of the dregs of the +British army, all of them will avail nothing. They are not worth a puff +of wind against the internal evidence of Maria Monk's book, in connexion +with the rejection of the proposal of the New York Protestant +Association, that the Nunnery shall undergo a strict and impartial +examination. It is one of the remarkable evidences of the extraordinary +delusion which blinds, or the infatuation which enchains the public +mind, that men will not credit the corruptions and barbarities of +Romanism. To account for this stupefaction among persons who are wide +awake to every other system of deadly evil, is almost impossible. Popery +necessarily extirpates the rights of man. It ever has destroyed the +well-being of society. By it, all municipal law and domestic obligations +are abrogated: It always subverts national prosperity and stability; and +it is the invincible extinguisher of all true morality and genuine +religion. Notwithstanding, men will give credence neither to its own +avowed principles, character, and spirit; nor to the unavoidable effects +which constantly have flowed from its operations and predominance. + +In any other case but one exposing the abominations of Popery, such a +volume as Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" would have been received +without cavil; and immediate judicial measures would have been adopted, +to ascertain the certainty of the alleged facts, and the extent and +aggravation of their criminality. But now persons are calling for more +evidence, when, if they reflected but for a moment, they would perceive, +that the only additional evidence possible, is under the entire control +of the very persons who are criminated; and to whom the admission of +further testimony would be the accumulation of indelible ignominy. + +The pretence, that it is contrary to their rules to allow strangers to +explore the interior of a nunnery, only adds insult to crime. Why should +a Convent be exempt from search, more than any other edifice? Why should +Roman Priests be at liberty to perpetrate every deed of darkness in +impenetrable recesses called nunneries? Why should one body of females, +shut up in a certain species of mansion, to whom only one class of men +have unrestricted access, be excluded from all public and legal +supervision, more than any other habitation of lewd women, into which +all men may enter? As citizens of the United States, we do not pretend +to have any authoritative claim to explore a convent within the dominion +of a foreign potentate. The Roman Priests of Canada, exercise a vast +influence, and are completely intertwined with the Jesuits, in this +republic. Therefore, when they remember the extinction of the nunneries +at Monroe, Michigan, Charlestown, and Pittsburg; and when they +recollect, that the delineations of Maria Monk, if they produce no +effect in Canada, will assuredly render female convents in the United +States very suspicious and insecure; if they have any solicitude for +their confederates, they will intrepidly defy research, and dauntlessly +accept the offer of the New York Protestant Association: that a joint +committee of disinterested, enlightened and honorable judges, should +fully investigate, and equitably decide upon the truth or falsehood of +Maria Monk's averments. Their ominous silence, their affected contempt, +and their audacious refusal, are calculated only to convince every +impartial person, of even the smallest discernment, of the real state of +things in that edifice; that the chambers of pollution are above, and +that the dungeon of torture and death are below; and that they dread the +exposure of the theatre on which their horrible tragedies are performed. + +It is also a fact publicly avowed by certain Montreal Papists +themselves, and extensively told in taunt and triumph, that they have +been employed as masons and carpenters by the Roman Priests, since Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal in August, 1835, expressly to alter various +parts of the Hotel Dieu Convent, and to close up some of the +subterraneous passages and cells in that nunnery. This circumstance is +not pretended even to be disputed or doubted; for when the dungeons +under ground are spoken of before the Papists, their remark is this: "Eh +bien! mais vous ne les trouverez pas, a present; on les a cache hors de +vue. Very well, you will not find them there now; they are closed up, +and out of sight." Why was the manoeuvre completed? Manifestly, that in +urgent extremity, a casual explorer might be deceived, by the apparent +proof that the avenues, and places of imprisonment and torture which +Maria Monk describes are not discoverable. Now that circumstance might +not even been suspected, if the Papist workmen themselves had not openly +boasted of the chicanery by which the Priests, who employed them, +expected to blind and deceive the Protestants. For in reference to the +Romanists, a Popish Priest well knows that nothing more is necessary +than for him to assert any absurdity, however gross or impossible, and +attest it by the five crosses on his vestments, and his own +superstitious vassal believes it with more assurance than his own +personal identity. But the filling up and the concealment of the old +apertures in the nunnery, by the order of the Roman Priests are scarcely +less powerful corroborative proof of Maria Monk's delineations, than +ocular and palpable demonstration. + +2. Some of the circumstances attending Maria Monk's visit to Montreal, +in August, 1835, add great weight in favour of the truth, which no +cavils, skepticism, scorn, nor menaces, can counterbalance. + +We will however state one very recent occurrence, because it seems to +us, that it alone is almost decisive of the controversy. A counsellor of +Quebec--his name is omitted merely from delicacy and prudential +considerations--has been in New York since the publication of the "Awful +Disclosures" His mind was so much influenced by the perusal of that +volume, that he sought out the Authoress, and most closely searched into +the credibility of her statements. Before the termination of the +interview, that gentleman became so convinced of the truth of the +picture which Maria Monk drew of the interior of the Canadian Nunneries, +that he expressed himself to the following effect:--"My daughter, about +15 years of age, is in the Ursuline Convent at Quebec. I will return +home immediately; and if I cannot remove her any other way, I will drag +her out by the hair of her head, and raise a noise about their ears that +shall not soon be quieted." + +That gentleman did so return to Quebec, since which he has again visited +New York; and he stated, that upon his arrival in Quebec, he went to the +Convent, and instantly removed his daughter from the Ursuline Nunnery; +from whom he ascertained, as far as she had been initiated into the +mysteries, that Maria Monk's descriptions of Canadian Nunneries, are +most minutely and undeniably accurate. + +We have already remarked, that Mrs. ----, Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Hogan, and Mr. +Smith, who was a Papist Priest, with scores of other persons who +formerly resided in Montreal, all express their unqualified belief of +the statements made by Maria Monk. Mr. Ogden's acquaintance with the +facts, as Attorney General, and that of other officers of the Provincial +Government, have also been noticed. The ensuing additional circumstances +are of primary importance to a correct estimate of the value which +should be attached to the crafty silence of the Roman Priests and the +impudent denials of infidel profligates. + +Mr. Bouthillier, one of the Montreal Magistrates, called at Mr. +Johnson's house where Maria Monk stayed, in the month of August, 1835, +when visiting Montreal. + +He addressed her and said:--"There is some mystery about Novices--What +is it? and asked how long a woman must be a novice before she can take +the veil?" Having been answered, Mr. Bouthillier then desired Maria Monk +to describe the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. As soon as it was +done, he became enraged, and said--"Vous dites un mensonge, vous en +savez. You lie, you know you do?"--Mr. Bouthillier next inquired--"Was +Mr. Tabeau in the Holy Retreat when you left the Convent?" She answered +"Yes." To which he replied in French--"Anybody might have answered that +question." Something having been said about the Hotel Dieu Nuns being +confined to their convent, Mr. Bouthillier declared, that they were +allowed to go about the streets. He was told that could not be the case, +for it was a direct violation of the rules for Nuns to depart from the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery. He replied--"Ce n'est pas vrai. That is not true," +Mr. Bonthillier then became very angry, and applied to Maria Monk some +very abusive epithets, for which a gentleman in the room reproved him. +It was evident, that he lost his temper because he had lost his +argument, and his hopes of controverting her statements. + +On the Lord's day after Maria Monk's arrival in Montreal, and when the +matter had become well known and much talked about, Phelan, the Priest, +at the end of mass, addressed the Papists, who were assembled to hear +mass, to this effect: "There is a certain nun in this city who has left +our faith, and joined the Protestants. She has a child of which she is +ready to swear I am the father. She wishes in this way to take my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The Devil now has such hold upon people that there is danger lest some +might believe her story." He then pretended to weep, and appeared to be +overcome with feeling. A number of the people gathered around him, and +he said: "That nun is Antichrist. She is not a human being, but an evil +spirit, who got among the Catholics, and _was admitted into the +nunnery_, where she learned the rules." He also stated, that "in that +nun, the prophecy respecting the coming of Antichrist is fulfilled, to +break down the Catholic religion." Such was Phelan's address to the +people. He declared that Maria Monk had been a nun. Now he knew her, for +he saw her in Montreal, where she could not know him. It would have +saved all further inquiry and research, if, instead of denouncing her +after mass, he had merely assented to Maria Monk's proposition, to be +confronted with those Roman Priests and nuns before impartial witnesses +in the Hotel Dieu Convent. + +One of the most impressively characteristic circumstances which occurred +during Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in Aug. 1835, was an interview at +Mr. Johnson's house with a carpenter who had heard Phelan's denunciation +of Maria Monk after mass. + +The heinous destruction of all domestic confidence and of all female +purity, is known to be the constant and general practice, not only in +Canada, but in all other Popish countries, and among Papists in every +part of the world. For in truth it is only fulfilling the authentic +dogmas of their own system. The following authoritative principles are +divulged in the Corpus Juris Canonici, which contains the Decretals, +Canons, &c. of the Popes and Councils; and other participants of the +pretended Papal infallibility. "If the Pope fall into homicide or +adultery, he cannot be accused, but is excused by the murders of Samson, +and the adultery of David." Hugo, Glossa, distinc. 40 Chapter, Non vos. +--"Likewise if any Priest is found embracing a woman, it must be +presupposed and expounded that he doth it to bless her!"--Glossa, Caus. +12. Quest. 3. Chapter Absis. According to the Pope's bull he who does +not believe those doctrines is accursed. + +As that carpenter was completely overcome by the recollection of the +Priest's information and caution about his marriage, he desisted from +any further questions; but upon Maria Monk's declaration, that she was +desirous to go into the convent, and prove all her accusations against +the Priests and Nuns, he withdrew. Soon after he returned, and stated, +that he had been to the Convent, to inquire respecting her; and that he +had been informed, that she had once belonged to the Nunnery; but that +they would not any longer own or recognise her. Afterwards he exhibited +the most contradictory emotions, and first cursed Maria Monk; then +reviled the Priests, applying to them all the loathsome epithets in the +Canadian vocabulary. Subsequently, he went to make inquiries at the +Seminary; and after his return to Mr. Johnson's house he declared, that +the persons there had informed him, that Maria Monk had lived in the +Nunnery, but not as a Nun; then he offered to assist her in her +endeavours to expose the Priests; and finally disappeared, swearing +aloud as he was retiring from the house; and apparently thinking over +the conduct of the Priest to his wife before their marriage. "Oh, +sacre!"--he repeated to himself--"c'est trop mechant!" + +Similar facts to the above occurred frequently during the time of Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal--in which strangers who called upon her, cursed +and reviled her; then believed her statements and assented to them--and +displayed all the natural excitement which was necessarily comprised in +the working of their own belief and convictions of the iniquity of the +Priests, and the dread resulting from their own superstitious vassalage, +and the certainty of a heavy penance. + +But in connexion with the preceding collateral evidence is another +remarkable circumstance, which is this: the extensive knowledge which +Maria Monk has obtained of the Canadian Jesuits. Those with whom she has +been acquainted, she affirms that she could instantly identify. For that +object, she has given a catalogue of those Priests whose names and +persons are in some degree familiarly known to her. As the Priests are +often changing their abodes, and many of them residents in Montreal +until a vacancy occurs for them in the country parishes, in those +particulars there may be a trifling mistake; but Maria Monk solemnly +avers, that the Priests, whether dead or living, who are enumerated in +the subsequent catalogue, either have dwelt or do yet reside in the +places specified. When unexpectedly and closely examined in reference to +the Priests of the same name, she particularly distinguished them, and +pointed out the difference between them in their persons, gait, &c.; +thus precluding all objection from the fact of there being more than one +Priest with a similar appellative. This circumstance particularly is +illustrated by the Priests named Marcoux, of whom she says there are +three brothers or first cousins--two called Dufresne, &c.: each of whom +she graphically depicts. It is also certain, because she has done it in +a great variety of instances, and in the presence of many different +persons, all of whom are well acquainted with them, that she describes +Lartigue; Dufresne; Richard; Phelan; Bonin; Comte; Bourget; McMahon; +Kelly; Demers; Roux; Roque; Sauvage; Tabeau; Marcoux; Morin; Durocher; +and all the Roman Priests around Montreal, with the utmost minuteness of +accuracy; while the Chaplain of the Ursuline Nunnery at Quebec, Father +Daule, is as exactly depicted by her, as if her whole life had been +passed under his _surveillance_. Some of the appellatives in the +ensuing catalogue may not be correctly spelt. Scarcely any thing is more +difficult than to acquire proper names in a foreign language; and +especially where the pronunciation itself is provincial, as is the case +with Canadian French; and when also those titles have to be transcribed +from the mouth of a person who knows no more of orthoepy and orthography +than a Canadian Nun. However, Maria Monk attests, that the Priests to +whom she refers did reside at those places which she has designated, and +that she has seen them all in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery--some of them very +often, and others on a variety of occasions. + +Nothing is more improbable, if not impossible, than that any Papist girl +should have such an extensive acquaintance among Roman Priests. In +Canada especially, where the large majority of females have little more +correct knowledge of that which occurs out of their own district than of +Herschel's astronomical discoveries, young women cannot be personally +familiar with any Priests, in ordinary cases, except those who may have +been "Cures" of the parish in which they reside, or of the immediate +vicinity, or an occasional visitor during the absence, or sickness, or +death of the resident Curate or Missionary. Notwithstanding, Maria Monk +delineates to the life, the prominent features, the exact figure, and +the obvious characteristic exterior habits and personal appearance of +more than one hundred and fifty of those Priests, scattered about in all +parts of Canada; Among others she particularly specifies the following +men: but some of whom she notes as dead. Others she has named, but as +her recollections of them are less distinct, they are not enumerated. +Jean Jacques Lartigue, Bishop of Telmese, Montreal. The Irish Priest +McMahon, who has resided both in Montreal and Quebec. M. Dufrense, St. +Nicholas. L. Cadieux, Vicar General, Three Rivers. F. F. Marcoux, +Maskinonge. S. N. Dumoulin, Yamachiche. A. Leclerc, Yomaska. V. +Fournier, Baie du Febre. J. Demers, St. Gregoire. C. B. Courtain, +Gentilly. T. Pepin, St. Jean. Ignace Bourget, Montreal. The Priest Moor, +Missionary. J. C. Prince, Montreal. J. M. Sauvage, Montreal. J. Comte, +Montreal. J. H. A. Roux, Vicar General, Montreal. J. Roque, Montreal. A. +Malard, Montreal. A. L. Hubart, Montreal. A. Satin, Montreal. J. B. +Roupe, Montreal. Nic. Dufresne, Montreal. J. Richard, Montreal. C. Fay, +Montreal. J. B. St. Pierre, Montreal. F. Bonin, P. Phelan, Montreal. T. +B. M'Mahon, Perce. J. Marcoux, Caghuawaga. C. De Bellefeuille, Lake of +two Mountains. Claude Leonard, Montreal. F. Durocher, Lake of two +Mountains. G. Belmont, St. Francis. F. Demers, Vicar General, St. Denis. +J. O. Giroux, St. Benoit. J. B. St. Germain, St. Laurent. J. D. Delisle, +St. Cesaire. J. M. Lefebvre, St. Genevieve. F. Pigeon, St. Philippe. A. +Duransau, Lachine. O. Chevrefils, St. Constant. Joseph Quiblier, +Montreal. Francis Humbert, Montreal. J. Arraud, Montreal. O. +Archambault, Montreal. J. Larkin, Montreal. F. Sery, Montreal. R. Larre, +Montreal. A. Macdonald, Montreal. F. Larkin, Montreal. J. Beauregard, +Montreal. R. Robert, Montreal. J. Fitz Patrick, Montreal. J. Toupin, +Montreal. W. Baun, Montreal. T. Filiatreault. Montreal. J. Brady, +Montreal. P. Trudel, St. Hyacinth. John Grant, St. Hyacinth. J. Delaire, +Chambly. J. Desautels, Chambly. P. D. Ricard, St. Joachim. Jan. +Leclaire, Isle Jesus. F. M. Turcot, St. Rose. C. Larocque, Berthier, T. +Brassard, St. Elizabeth. J. B. Keller, St. Elizabeth. J. Ravienne, +Lanorate. J. T. Gagno, Valtrie. Gasford Guingner, St. Melanie. L. +Nicholas Jacques, St. Sulpice. J. Renucalde, St. Jaques. T. Can, St. +Esprit. C. J. Ducharme, St. Therese. J. Valliee, St. Scholastique. J. J. +Vinet, Arganteuil. M. Power, Beauharnois. J. B. Labelle, Chateauguay. E. +Bietz, St. Constant. P. Bedard, St. Remi. C. Aubry, St. Athanase. L. +Vinet, Noyon. J. Roque, Noyon. J. Zeph, Carren. F. Berauld, St. +Valentia. A. Maresseau, Longueuil. P. Brunet, ----. J. Odelin, +Rounilli. J. B. Dupuis, ----. L. Nau, Rouville. A. O. Giroux, St. Marc. +G. Marchesseau, ----. J. B. Belanger, St. Ours. H. Marcotte, Isle du +Pads. E. Crevier, Yamaska. G. Arsonault, ----. Eusebe Durocher, ----. +D. Denis, St. Rosalie. F. X. Brunet, St. Damase. J.A. Boisond, St. Pie. +M. Quintal, St. Damase. L. Aubry, Points Calire. P. Tetro, Beauharnois. +B. Ricard, St. Constant. M. Morin, Maskonche. J. Crevier, Blairfindie. +P. Grenier, Charteaguay. A. Darocher, Pointe aux Trembles. P. Murcure, +La Presentation. R. Gaulin, Dorchester. H. L. Girouard, St. Hyacinthe. +J. Paquin, Blairfinde. E. Brassard, St. Polycarpe. J. Boissonnault, +Riviere des Prairies. F. N. Blanchet, Soulanges. E. Lavoie, Blairfindie. +J. B. Kelly, Sorel. E. Morriset, St. Cyprian. H. Hudon, Argenteuil. M. +Brudet, St. Martin. P. P. Archambault, Vaudreuil. J. B. Boucher, La +Prairie. J. Quevillion, St. Ours. A. Chaboillez, Longueuil. P. J. +Delamothe, St. Scholastique. T. Lagard, St. Vincent. J. Durocher, St. +Benoit. Antoine Tabeau, Vicar General, Montreal. J. F. Hebard, St. Ours. +F. A. Trudeau, Montreal. M. J. Felix, St. Benoit. L. Lamothe, Bethier. +J. Moirier, St. Anne. F. J. Deguise, Vicar General, Varennes. J. B. +Bedard, St. Denis. R. O. Brunsau, Vercheres. F. Portier, Terrebonne. P. +D. Ricard, Berthier. L. Gague, Lachenaie. Joseph Belanger, Chambly. M. +Blanchet, St. Charles. P. M. Mignault, Chambly. F. Labelle, +L'Assumption. F. Marcoux, St. Barthelemi. N. L. Amiot, Repentigny. J. B. +Boucher, Chambly. P. Lafranc, St. Jean Baptiste. P. Robitaille, Monnie. +F. De Bellefeullie, St. Vincent. M. Brassard, St. Elizabeth. P. +Cousigny, St. Mathias. J. D. Daule, Quebec. + +It is readily admitted, that any person could take one of the +Ecclesiastical Registers of Lower Canada, and at his option mark any +number of the Roman Priests in the catalogue, and impute to them any +crime which he pleased. But if the accuser were closely examined, and +among such a multitude of Priests, who in all their clothing are dressed +alike, were called upon minutely to delineate them, it is morally +impossible, that he could depict more than a hundred Priests dispersed +from the borders of Upper Canada to Quebec, in as many different +parishes, with the most perfect accuracy, unless he was personally and +well acquainted with them. + +Maria Monk, however, does most accurately describe all the Priests in +the preceding catalogue, and repeats them at the expiration of weeks and +months; and the question is this: how is it possible that she could have +become acquainted with so many of that body, and by what means can she +so precisely depict their external appearance?--The startling, but the +only plausible answer which can be given to that question is this:-- +that she has seen them in the Nunnery, whither, as she maintains, most +of them constantly resorted for licentious intercourse with the Nuns. + +One other connected fact may here be introduced. Maria Monk well knows +the Lady Superior of the Charlestown Nunnery. That acquaintance could +not have been made in the United States, because Saint Mary St. George +as she called herself, or Sarah Burroughs, daughter of the notorious +Stephen Burroughs, as is her real name, removed to Canada at the latter +end of May, 1835; nor could it have been prior to the establishment of +the Charlestown Nunnery, for at that period Maria Monk was a child, and +was not in any Convent except merely as a scholar; and Mary St. George +was at Quebec. How then did she become so familiar with that far-famed +lady as to be able to describe her so exactly? The only answer is, that +she derived her knowledge of the Charlestown Convent and of its +Superior, from the intimations given, and from intercourse with that Nun +in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +Young females often have been sent to the Nunneries in Canada under the +fallacious hope of obtaining for them, a superior education; and very +frequently, they are suddenly removed after being there but a short +period; because the persons to whose partial guardianship they are +committed perceive that they are in danger of being ensnared by the +Chaplain and his female Syrens. + +But there are two other particulars in American Nunneries, the +toleration of which almost surpasses credibility. + +In reference to girls, they are permitted to visit their friends, even +when they reside in the vicinity of the Convent, only for an hour or two +monthly--if their relatives are at a distance, they see them only during +the annual vacation, and often remain in the Nunnery during that term. +No correspondence is permitted between the mother, the guardian, the +sister, or the friends of the young female in the Nunnery School, on +either side, without the inspection of the argus-eyed agent of the +Institution. Parental advice, filial complaints, and confidential +communications are equally arrested; and only furnish to the Superiors +of the establishment, artifices to thwart the Seniors, to entangle the +Juniors, and effectually to cajole both parties. Consequently, it +generally happens, that from one term to another, little or no +intercourse exists between the youth and her relatives; and it is +indubitable, that where any letters do nominally pass between them, they +are forgeries; the real letters being surreptitiously detained. Those +felonious regulations furnish ample scope for the initiation of girls +just entering upon womanhood, into all the wickedness of the Nunnery; +while the girls themselves are unconscious of the design, and the Nuns, +those nefarious artificers of the iniquity, in subserviency to the +Priests, in case of necessity, can exculpate themselves apparently from +all participation in the treachery and crimes. + +In the nunneries and conventual schools in the United States there is a +sort of fairy land, talked about by the nuns to the elder girls. It is +called the "Nuns' Island." That country is always described as an +earthly paradise; and to girls who are manifestly fascinated by the +witcheries of the nuns, and in whom moral sensibility has become blunted +by the unmeaning superstitions which they witness, and which they +mechanically perform, a visit to the "Nuns' Island," is always proposed +as the greatest privilege, and the most costly reward, which can be +given for constant obsequiousness to the nuns, and unreserved compliance +with their requirements. The term "Nuns' Island," is thus used to +express the nunneries in Canada, and probably some similar institutions +in the United States, where they are not too difficult of access. At all +events, girls just entering upon the character of women, after proper +training, are finally gratified with a visit to the "Nuns' Island." They +are taken to Montreal, and in the nunneries there are at once taught +"the mystery of iniquity;" in all the living reality which Maria Monk +describes. Those girls from the United States, who are represented as +novices; in Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," were young ladies from the +United States, who had been decoyed to visit the "Nuns' Island," and +who, not being Papists, often were found very intractable; but posterior +circumstances enforce the belief, that having found resistance vain, +they had not returned to their school where they were duly qualified to +continue the course into which they had been coerced, so as fully to +elude all possibility of discovery and exposure. That mother who +intrusts her daughter to a nunnery school, is chargeable with the high +crime of openly conducting her into the chambers of pollution, and the +path to irreligion, and the bottomless pit. + +These combined circumstances satisfactorily prove that, the narrative of +Maria Monk should be believed by all impartial persons; at least, until +other evidence can be adduced, and the offer of exploring the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, by the New York Protestant Association, has been accepted and +decided. + +3. Additional evidence of the truth of Maria Monk's narrative is deduced +from _the exact conformity of the facts which she states concerning +the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, when compared with the authoritative principles +of the Jesuit Priesthood as recorded in their own duly sanctioned +volumes_. It is essential to remark, that of those books she knows +nothing; that she has never seen one of them, and if she could grasp +them, that they would impart no illumination to her mind, being in +Latin; and yet in many momentous particulars, neither Lartigue nor any +one of the Jesuit Priests now in Montreal, who was educated in France, +could more minutely and accurately furnish an exposition or practical +illustration of the atrocious themes, than Maria Monk has unconsciously +done. + +Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," are reducible to three classes: +intolerable sensuality; diversified murder; and most scandalous +mendacity: comprehending flagrant, and obdurate, and unceasing +violations of the sixth, seventh, and ninth commandments. + +_The ninth commandment:_ FALSEHOOD. Of this baseness, five +specimens only shall suffice. + +_Sanchez_, a very renowned author, in his work on "Morality and the +Precepts of the Decalogue," part 2, book 3, chap. 6, no. 13, thus +decides: "A person may take an oath that he has not done any certain +thing, though in fact he has. This is extremely convenient, and is also +_very just_, when necessary to your health, honour, and +prosperity!" _Charli_, in his Propositions, no. 6, affirms that, +"He who is not bound to state the truth before swearing, is not bound by +his oath." _Taberna_ in his vol. 2, part 2, tract 2, chap. 31, p. +288, asks: "Is a witness bound to declare the truth before a lawful +judge?" To which he replies: "No, if his deposition will injure himself +or his posterity." _Laymann_, in his works, book 4, tract 2, chap. +2, p. 73, proclaims: "It is not sufficient for an oath, that we use the +formal words, if we had not the intention and will to swear, and do not +_sincerely_ invoke God as a witness." All those principles are +sanctioned by _Suarez_ in his "Precepts of Law," book 3, chap. 9, +assertion 2, p. 473, where he says, "If any one has promised or +contracted without intention to promise, and is called upon oath to +answer, may simply answer, NO; and may swear to that denial." + +The idea of obtaining truth, therefore, from a thorough-going Papist, +upon any subject in which his "_honour_" is concerned--and every +Papist's honour is indissolubly conjoined with "the Church"--is an +absurdity so great, that it cannot be listened to with patience, while +the above decisions are the authorised dogmas which the Roman Priests +inculcate among their followers. How well the nuns of Montreal have +imbibed those Jesuitical instructions, Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" +amply reveal. + +_The Sixth Commandment:_ MURDER. The following miscellaneous +decisions are extracted from the works of the regularly sanctioned Roman +authors, of the very highest character and rank in that community. + +In his famous volume called "Aphorisms," p. 178, _Emmanuel Sa_ +writes--"You may kill any person who may be able to put you to death-- +judge and witnesses--because it is self-defence." + +_Henriquez_, in his "Sum of Moral Theology," vol. 1, book 14, chap. +10, p. 859, decides that "a Priest is not criminal, if he kill the +husband of a woman with whom he is caught in adultery." + +_Airault_ published a number of propositions. One of them says, +that "a person may secretly kill another who attempts to destroy his +reputation, although the facts are true which he published." The +following must be cited in Latin. "An lieitium sit mulieri procurare +abortum? Posset ilium excutere, ne honorem suum amittat, qui illi multo +pretiosior est ipsa vita." "An liceat mulieri conjugata sumere pharmacum +sterilitatis? Ita satius est ut hoc faciat, quam ut marito debitium +conjugale recuset." Censures 319, 322, 327. + +In his Moral Theology, vol. 4, book 32, sec. 2, problem 5, +_Escobar_ determines, that "it is lawful to kill an accuser whose +testimony may jeopard your life and honour." + +_Guimenius_ promulged his seventh Proposition in these words: "You +may charge your opponent with false crimes to destroy his credit; and +you may also kill him." + +_Marin_ wrote a book called "Speculative and Moral Theology." In +vol. 3, tract 23, disputation 8, sec. 5, no. 63, p. 448, are found the +following sentences: "Licet procurare abortum, ne puella infametur." +That doctrine is admitted, "to evade personal disgrace, and _to +conceal the infamy of Monks and Nuns_." no. 67, p. 429. In no. 75, p. +430, of the same work, _Marin_ writes: "Navarrus, Arragon, Bannez, +Henriquez,, Sa, Sanchez, Palao, and others, all say, that a woman may +use not only missione sanguinis, sed aliis medicamentis, etsi inde +pereat foetus." With that doctrine also agrees _Egidius_, in his +"Explication of the Decalogue," vol. 5, book 5, chap. 1, doubt 4; and +_Diana_ in his work upon Morality, part 6, tract 8, resolution 27, +fully ratifies his sanction. + +_Gobatus_ published a work which he entitled, "Morality," and in +vol. 2, part 2, tract 5, chap. 9, sec. 8, p. 318, is the following +_edifying_ specimen of Popish morals: "Persons may innocently +desire to be drunk, if any great good will arise from it. A son who +inherits wealth by his father's death, may rejoice that when he is +intoxicated, he murdered his father." According to which combined +propositions, a man may make himself drunk expressly to kill his parent, +and yet be guiltless. + +_Busenbaum_ wrote a work denominated "Moral Theology." which was +enlarged and explained by _Lacroix_. In vol. 1, p. 295, is the +following position: "In all the cases where a man has a right to kill +any person, another may do it for him." But we have already heard by +_Escobar_ that any "Roman Priest has a right to kill Maria Monk; +and therefore any Papist may murder her for them." + +_Alagona_, in his "Compend of the Sum of Theology," by Thomas +Aquinas, question 94, p. 230, "Sums" up all the Romish system in this +comprehensively blasphemous oracular adage. "_By the command of God, +it is lawful to murder the innocent, to rob, and to commit lewdness; and +thus to fulfil his mandate, is our duty_." + +_The seventh commandment._--In his Aphorisms, p. 80, and p. 259, +_Sa_ thus decides--"Copulari ante benedictionem, aut nullam aut +leve peceatum est; quin etiam expedit, si multum isla differatur."-- +"Potest et femina quaeque et mas, pro turpi corporis usu, pretium, +accipere et petere." + +_Hurtado_ issued a volume of "Disputations and Difficulties." At p. +476 is the following genuine Popish rule of life--"Carnal intercourse +before marriage is not unlawful." So teaches that Jesuit oracle. + +_Dicastillo_, in his work upon "Righteousness and other cardinal +Virtues," p. 87, thus asks--"An puella, quae per vin opprimitur teneatur +clamare et opem implorare ne violetur?" The answer is this--"Non videtur +teneri impedire peccatum alterius--sed mere passive se habere." + +_Escobar_, in his "Moral Theology," p. 326, 327, 328, of vol. 4, +determines that "a man who abducts a woman from affection expressly to +marry her, is guilty of mortal sin, but a Priest who forcibly violates +her through lust, incurs no censure." + +_Tamburin_ unfolds the character of Romanism in his "Moral +Theology," p. 186, in a lengthened discussion of the following +characteristic inquiry--"Quantum pro usu corporis sui juste exigat +mulier?"--The reply is, "de meretrice et de femina honesta sive +conjugata, ant non." + +_Fegeli_ wrote a book of "Practical Questions;" and on p. 397, is +the following--"Under what obligation is he who defiles a virgin?"--The +answer is this--"Besides the obligation of penance, he incurs none; quia +puella habet jus usum sui corporis concedendi." + +_Trachala_ published a volume which he facetiously entitled the +"Laver of Conscience;" and at p. 96, he presents us with this astounding +recipe to purify the conscience--"An Concubinarius sit absolvendus +antequam concubinam dimittat?" To which he replies--"Si ilia concubina +sit valde bona et utilis economa, et sic nullam aliam possit habere, +esset absolvendus." + +From the prior decisions, combined with numberless others which might be +extracted from the works of the Romish authors, it is obvious, that the +violations of the seventh commandment, are scarcely enumerated by the +Papal priesthood among venial sins. Especially if we consider the +definition of a prostitute by the highest Popish authority: for in the +Decretals, Distinction 34, in the Gloss, is found this savory adage-- +"Meretrix est quae, admiserit plures quam viginti tria hominum millia!" +That is the infallible attestation to the truth of Maria Monk's "Awful +Disclosures." + +4. The antecedent narrative of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, is confirmed by +the universal and constant practice of Roman Priests in all Convents. +Among the works of William Huntington, is a correspondence between +himself and a young lady who was converted by his ministry. The seventh +letter from Miss M. contains the following passage:-- + +_"It is a shame for women to approach those confessionals._ If they +were never wise in scenes of iniquity before, the priest will instruct +them, by asking the most filthy questions. I was confined to my bed +three days from my first confession; and thought I would never go again, +being so abashed by the abominations he had put in my head. I would just +as soon recommend scalding water to cure Anthony's-fire, or a wet bed in +an ice-house to cure an ague, as recommend a sinner to those accursed +lies, Roman penance, and Auricular Confession."--The mental purity of +Nuns consists in a life totally "contrary to the laws of God, of +modesty, of decency. They are constantly exposed to the obscene +interrogations, and the lewd actions of the Priests. Notwithstanding God +has fixed a bar on every female mind, it is broken through by the +Priests putting questions to them upon those subjects, as the scripture +declares, which ought not to be named? The uncommon attractions of the +young women in Convents generally indicate the greatest unchastity among +them. I have known girls, sent for education to the Convent where I was, +who regularly stripped themselves of every thing they could obtain from +their friends; which, by the artful insinuations of the Nuns, was given +to them and the Priests. The Roman priesthood may well be called a +sorceress, and their doctrine 'the wine of fornication,' for nothing but +the powers of darkness could work up the young female mind to receive +it; unless by the subtlety of the devil, and the vile artifices of the +Nuns. I shudder at the idea of young ladies going into a Convent; and +also at parents who send their children to be educated in a Nunnery; +where their daughters are entrapped by the Nuns into the snare of the +Priests, with whom they are accomplices, and for whom the most subtle of +them are decoys, whose feigned sanctity is only a cover for the satanic +arts of which they are complete mistresses, and by which, through the +delusions of the mother of harlots, being buried alive within the walls +of a Convent, they 'drink of the wine of her fornication,' until their +souls pass into the pit of destruction."--The above extract is from the +seventh letter of "Correspondence between Miss M. and Mr. H." in +Huntington's Works; and exposes the Nunneries in France. + +George D. Emeline, who had been a Popish Priest, in his "Eight Letters," +giving an account of his "Journey into Italy," thus details the nature +of the intimacy which then existed between the Priests and Nuns on the +European Continent. "A young Monk at Milan, Preacher to the Benedictine +Nuns, when he addressed them, added to almost every sentence in his +discourse, 'my most dear and lovely sisters, whom I love from the +deepest bottom of my heart.' When a monk becomes Preacher or Chaplain to +a Nunnery, his days are passed in constant voluptuousness; for the Nuns +will gratify their Confessor in every thing, that he may be equally +indulgent to them." Emeline's Letters, p. 313. + +"A regular Abbot of a Monastery in Italy, talking with me said--'Melius +est habere nullam quam aliquem--It is better to have none than any +woman.' I asked him what he meant; he replied, 'Because, when a person +is not tied to one, he may make use of many;' and his practice was +conformable to his doctrine; for he slept in the same bed with three +young women every night. He was a most insatiable Exactor and Oppressor +of the people who rented the lands of the Abbey, in consequence of which +the Farmers complained of him to the Archbishop of the District. The +Archbishop sent the Provost, the Farmers, and sixty of the serjeants at +night, to seize him and his female companions. They took the Abbot in +bed, and having put on him a morning-gown; and having tied his three +concubines and himself back to back, placed them in a cart, and +conducted them to the Archbishop's residence, in Bonnonia: who then +refused to judge him; but sent him and his females to the Monastery of +_Saint_ Michael; into which, with some difficulty, he was admitted +after midnight, in consequence of the Provost assuring the Friars, that +if they would not receive the Abbot, they would procure his prelatical +dress, and escort him and the young women in procession through the +city, and back to his own Monastery the same day at noon. The females +were ordered away, and the Abbot was appointed to remain in his +monastery for fifteen days for penance, until the story had ceased to +circulate. I was an eyewitness of that myself, when I was in the +Monastery of St. Michael in the wood."--Emeline's Letters, pp. 387, 388, +389. + +That the Nunneries in Portugal, as well as among those people in India +who are subject to the Romish priesthood, are of the same character +precisely, as Maria Monk describes the Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +proved by Victorin de Faria, who had been a Brahman in India; and who +afterward resided as a regular Roman Priest in the Paulist Monastery at +Lisbon. + +"The regular Priests in India," says Faria, "have become what the bonzes +where in Japan. The Nuns were the disciples of Diana, and the nunneries +seraglios for the monks; as I have proved to be the case in Lisbon, by +facts concerning those nuns who were more often in the family way than +common women. The Jesuits in the Indies made themselves Brahmans in +order to enjoy the privileges of that caste, whose idolatrous rites and +superstitious practices they also externally adopted."--Among other +privileges which they possessed, Faria enumerates the following, as +detailed from his own prior experience as a Brahman. "Never to be put to +death for any crime whatever; and to enjoy the favours of every woman +who pleased them, for a Priest sanctifies the woman upon whom he bestows +his attentions." That is the true Papist doctrine, as shown by Maria +Monk's "Awful Disclosures;" confirmed by the Canadian carpenter in Mr. +Johnson's house at Montreal; and ratified by Pope Gregory XIII. in the +Decretals and Canons, in the Corpus Juris Canonici. Secrets of Nunneries +disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. p. 217. + +The Nunneries in Italy during the present generation are of the same +description. Maria Catharine Barni, Maria Magdalen Sicini, and Victoire +Benedetti, of the Nunnery called Santa Croce: all acknowledged, that +they had been seduced at confession, and that they had habitually +maintained criminal intercourse with a Priest called Pacchiani, who +absolved his guilty companions after the commission of their crimes. +Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 60, 61. + +Six Nuns of the Convent of Catharine at Pistoia declared that the +Priests who visited the Convent committed a "thousand indecorous acts. +They utter the worst expressions, saying that we should look upon it as +a great happiness, that we have the power of satisfying our appetites +without the annoyance of children; and that we should not hesitate to +take our pleasures. Men, who have contrived to get the keys, come into +the Convent during the night, which they have spent in the most +dissipated manner." That is the precise delineation of the Canadian +Nunneries; into which other men besides Priests are admitted, if the +parties are willing to pay the entrance bribe to the Chaplain.--Secrets +of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 80, 81. + +Flavia Perraccini, Prioress of the Nunnery of Catharine of Pistoia, +revealed what she knew of that and other Nunneries. All the Priests "are +of the same character. They all have the same maxims and the same +conduct. They are on more intimate terms with the nuns than if they were +married to them. It is the same at Lucia, at Pisa, at Prato, and at +Perugia. The Superiors do not know even the smallest part of the +enormous wickedness that goes on between the Monks and the Nuns."-- +Secrets of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. p. 93. That statement is so +exactly conformed to Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," that were it not +a fact that she had never seen Scipio de Ricci's work it might almost be +supposed that some part of her narrative had been transcribed from it. + +Foggini of Rome, also wrote to Scipio de Ricci and informed him--"I know +a monastery in which a Jesuit used to make the Nuns lift up their +clothes, assuring them that they thereby performed an act of virtue, +because they overcame a natural repugnance."--Secrets of Nunneries, p. +101. That is a very extraordinary illustration of the turpitude of the +Roman Priesthood; because that doctrine is a principle which they +constantly inculcate; and such is the invariable practice in the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, that the Nuns were obliged to fulfil, for the beastly +gratification of the Roman Priests who visited that house, which is "the +way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:27. + +It is superfluous to multiply similar extracts. Scipio de Ricci was a +Popish prelate, regularly commissioned by the Grand Duke of Tuscany to +explore the Nunneries; and in consequence of his authentic developments, +the Jesuits and Dominicans, and the dignified Papal ecclesiastics, with +the two Popes, Pius VI. and Pius VII. all opposed, reviled, condemned +and worried him almost to death. + +One quotation more shall close this survey. Pope Paul III. maintained at +Rome, forty-five thousand courtesans. Pope Sixtus IV. ordered a number +of edifices to be erected expressly for the accommodation of the semi- +Nuns of Rome, from whose impurity he derived a large annual revenue, +under the form of a license; besides which, the prices of absolution for +the different violations of the seventh commandment are as regularly +fixed as the value of beads, soul-masses, blessed water, and every other +article of Popish manufacture. Paolo, Hist. Council de Trent. Book I. +Anno 1637. + +The preceding observations, it is believed, will remove the doubts from +the mind of every impartial inquirer, respecting the credibility of +Maria Monk's narrative: nevertheless, a few additional remarks may not +be irrelevant: especially as there is a marvellous skepticism in +reference to the admission of valid testimony concerning the Roman +priesthood, their system and practice. We are deafened with clamour for +proof to substantiate Maria Monk's history: but that demand is +tantamount to the declaration--"I will not believe." + +In anticipation of speedy death, and an immediate appearance at the +dread tribunal of Jehovah, Maria Monk communicated to Mr. Tappan, the +Chaplain at Bellevue, one of the benevolent institutions belonging to +the city of New York, the principal facts in her "Awful Disclosures." +After her unexpected recovery, she personally appeared at Montreal, +expressly and openly, to promulge her allegations of atrocious crimes +against the chief Roman Ecclesiastics in that city, who were armed with +power, and having nearly all the population her infuriated enemies. +There she remained almost four weeks, constantly daring the Roman +Priests and Nuns in vain. It is true, Dr. Robertson in his affidavit +says, that he was willing "to take the necessary steps for a full +investigation, if a direct charge were made against any particular +individual of a criminal nature." Now if Maria Monk's charges are not +direct, OF A CRIMINAL NATURE, and against PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS--what +charges can be so characterized? The fact is this:--Dr. Robertson would +no more dare to issue a warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, or any +of the inferior Roman Priests in Montreal, than he would dare publicly +to strike the Commander of the Garrison, or the Governor of Canada upon +military parade. If any Papist had stated to him the same facts +concerning a Protestant, or Protestant Minister, and offered to confirm +them by his worthless oath, he would have issued his process at once; +but Dr. Robertson knows, that in the present state of Canadian society, +Roman Priests can do what they please; and no man dares to reprove, much +less to "take any necessary steps for a full investigation" for their +crimes. If the Jesuits and Nuns at Montreal are anxious for a full and +impartial scrutiny of the Hotel Dieu Convent, Maria Monk is ready to +oblige them with some facilities for that object; provided she may carry +them out to all their extent and application. Mr. Ogden has one +affidavit, and knows the whole matter; as can incontestably be proved by +Mr. A. P. Hart, an Attorney of Montreal; and we recommend Dr. Robertson +to issue his warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, +and Richards, they are enough to begin with; and if Mr. Ogden will carry +the facts with which he is acquainted to the Grand Jury, one witness in +New York is ready to appear; and Dr. Robertson will find his hands full +of employment, if he will only "take the necessary steps" to procure two +or three persons who shall be pointed out to him in the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery. Therefore, until Dr. Robertson commences some incipient +measures as a Magistrate towards "the necessary steps for a full +investigation," as he says, we shall be forced to believe, that the +printer made a mistake in his affidavit, and put willing for +_unwilling_. + +The cavilling call, however, for additional evidence to be adduced by +Maria Monk, is manifestly futile. That testimony is within the +jurisdiction of the Priests alone who are criminated. Maria Monk +reiterates her charge against the Romish Ecclesiastics of Canada and +their Nuns; and she has solemnly sworn that they are true. What more can +she do? Nothing, but to _search the premises_, to see whether the +statements which she has made are correct. A Committee of the New York +Protestant Association are willing to accompany her to Montreal; to walk +through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in company with any Gentlemen of +Montreal, and investigate the truth without favour or partiality, Maria +Monk is willing to submit the whole affair to that short, and easy, and +sensible test; in which there is no possibility of deception. It does +not depend upon credibility of witnesses, conflicting evidence, personal +friendship, or religions prejudices; it is reduced at once to that +unerring criterion; _the sight and the touch!_ + +But, it is retorted, that will not be granted; then we repeat another +proposal: let the Priest Conroy come forth girded in all the panoply of +the Roman court, and appear as the champion of the Canadian Jesuits; let +him institute an action, civil or criminal, or both, against the +publishers of such atrocious crimes, which, as they pretend, are falsely +alleged against the Roman Priests. If Lartigue and his Montreal inferior +priests are implicated in the most nefarious felonies, Maria Monk has +published him as a virtuous accomplice. Why does he not put her truth to +the test, by subjecting her to a criminal process? Why does he not +commence a suit against the Booksellers who published her "Awful +Disclosures?"--Ah! if Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, with +their brethren, Conroy, Phelan, Kelly and Quarter, were coerced to keep +Lent, and live only upon _soup-maigre_, until that day arrives, +they would not much longer portray in their exterior, that they live +upon the fat of the land; but they would vociferously whine out--"Mea +culpa! O mea grandis culpa! O mea grandissima culpa! Peccava! Peccavi! +Peccavi!" + + + + +APPENDIX. + +RECEPTION OF THE FIRST EDITIONS. + + +I have now reached the close of what appeared in my first editions. Some +of my readers may feel a wish to know what has been said of me and my +book, by those whose characters or connexions it exposes. Different +persons have expressed to me their fears that I should be kidnapped, +stabbed or poisoned; but of this I have had but little apprehension. +Others may suppose that the priests of Montreal, and some of those in +New York, against whom I have made different charges, may have appeared +against me in ways of which they are ignorant, and have published facts, +or used arguments of serious import, if not of decided force. For the +information of my readers, I have determined, though at some +inconvenience, to lay before them a fair view of what they have done. + +I was well convinced before the publication of my first book, that the +priests would do or say very little against me or my work; and several +persons can testify, that I made declarations of this kind, with +distinctness, in their presence. The reasons I gave for this opinion +were these,--that they feared an investigation, and that they feared +further disclosures. They must desire to keep the public mind calm, and +diverted with other matters; and to avoid increasing my will. + +There were individuals, I was well aware, both in and _out_ of the +nunnery, and Seminary, who, from the first notice of the appearance of +my book, would be extremely disquieted, until they had ascertained the +extent to which my developments reached. When they had read for +themselves, I well knew, they would enjoy a temporary relief, finding +that my "Disclosures" were not the most "awful" which they had reason to +expect. + +I also felt, that they would apprehend something further from me; and +that a dread of this would probably keep them quiet, or confine them to +general denials of my story. And this has been the case, even to so +great a degree, that the remark has been often repeated--how feeble is +their defence! Why did they not rather remain silent than do so little-- +that which is for them worse than nothing? The causes of this I could +assign. The world does not understand them all. + +Three principal grounds of opposition have been taken against me by my +enemies--1st, That I had never been in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery: 2d, That +my character entitled me to no confidence; 3d, That my book was copied, +"word for word, and letter for letter," from an old European work, +called "The Gates of Hell opened." Besides these grounds, several others +have been attempted, but less seriously supported--such as that I was +deranged, or subject to occasional alienation of mind; and that I was +not Maria Monk, but a counterfeit of a person by that name, still in +Canada, and, as some said, in the Black Nunnery. + +With regard to the first of these grounds, I will here simply say, that +it has been, beyond controversy, the principal one, but has recently +been abandoned. The great object of the six affidavits, published in +Montreal in November, 1835, and republished here soon after the +publication of my book, was to prove that I had never been a nun--not +even a novice. The reader may judge for himself, for those affidavits +are published in full in this volume, and they are the only ones which +have been published against me. The reader will also see in an extract +from the New York Catholic Diary of March last that that fact is +admitted; and by a later extract from it, that a Canadian priest who +takes the trouble to write from Sherbrooke, has no new testimony to +refer to. + +As to my character, I never claimed the confidence of the American +people, (as the Roman priests do,) on a pretence of a peculiar holiness +of life. That would have been unreasonable in a stranger, and especially +one who had been in a nunnery. My first editions, as well as the +present, bear witness that I appealed to the evidence of facts which no +one could controvert if once produced--an examination of the interior of +my late prison. Not a lisp has yet been heard of assent to my +proposition. The Protestant Association have published a challenge, for +several weeks, which is on another page among the extracts--but no one +has accepted it, and I will venture to say, no one will. + +My publishers, on seeing the assertion made by the editor of the Boston +(Roman Catholic) Pilot, that my book was a mere copy from an old +European work, called "The Gates of Hell opened," published an offer of +$100 for any book so resembling it--without success. If there be any +volume on earth which contains the developments of any fugitive nun, +whose case resembled my own, I should expect to merit such a title as +the above; and I should know how to excuse the author for using so +strong an expression, after struggling, as I have had to do, in giving +my own narrative, with those feelings which are so apt to arise in my +heart at the recollection of scenes I have passed through. The opening +of the Gates of Hell, whether in a European or a Canadian Convent, may +probably disclose scenes very like to each other; but if there be any +resemblance between my book and any other in the world, I solemnly +declare that it can be owing only to a resemblance between the things +described in both, as not a sentence has been copied from any book +whatever, and I defy the editor of the Boston Pilot--(not to perjure +himself, as he gratuitously proposed--but to do what would be at once +much more difficult and satisfactory)--produce his book, or a single +page of it. + +I have been charged with occasional alienation of mind--a very strong +evidence, I should think, of my being a nun; for what eloped nun ever +escaped that charge? Like converted Roman Catholics, run-away nuns are +commonly pronounced to be out of their wits, or under the influence of +evil spirits, of course, on the ground that it is proved by the fact +itself. + +As to my being the real Maria Monk or not, I presume the testimony of +some of my old school-mates, now in New York, will pass. To these, +however, it cannot he necessary to resort, otherwise the Montreal +affidavits will be good for nothing. + +I will now proceed to give _the whole_ of the testimony which has +been brought out against me. A few remarks, necessary to acquaint the +reader with the progress of things, will be given in their place. Next +to these will appear the testimony of several persons, who have +voluntarily presented themselves, since the publication of my first +edition, claimed acquaintance with me, and volunteered their testimony. +I need not say how gratifying I have found such spontaneous marks of +kindness, from friends, whose reedy and unsolicited appearance is a real +favour to me, although chiefly due, as they declare, to their love of +truth and justice. + +Almost immediately after the appearance of my "Awful Disclosures," the +following anonymous handbill was distributed through the city of New +York. It was also published in the Catholic Diary, and other papers, +with violent denunciations. + +"_Maria Monk! Villany Exposed._ + +"_L'Amidu Peuple_, a Montreal paper, gives us the _denouement_ +of the tale of scandal which the _Protestant Vindicator_, Christian +Herald, _et id genus omne_, put forward a few months since, and +which the Protestant Editors of three political journals in Montreal, at +once indignantly repelled without knowing its origin. Instead of an +eloped Nun, recounting the horrors of the Convent, the heroine of the +tale is a Protestant young girl, who has been for four years past under +protection of a Mr. Hoyte, once styled a Reverend Methodist Preacher, +and connected with Canadian Sunday Schools. The paper quoted above, +gives, at full length, the affidavits of the mother of the girl, who is +also a Protestant, and of several other individuals, who had no motive +to favour Catholic Institutions. The disconsolate mother testifies on +oath that she had been solicited by the seducer of her child to swear +that she was a Nun, and that the father of the infant was a Catholic +Clergyman--that a promise had been made her of a comfortable provision +for herself, and for her unfortunate child and offspring--if she would +only do that. The poor woman had virtue enough to reject the base +proposal; and thus, the Rev. Mr. Hoyte, who had returned from New York +for this purpose, accompanied, it is stated, by the Rev. Mr. Brewster +and Judge Turner, failed in the object of his visit. + +"A Methodist Preacher of the place immediately disclaimed all connection +of the society with Mr. Hoyte, and in a letter, published in the papers, +expressed his regret that any credit had been given to a foul charge, +emanating from a source so polluted."--_Catholic Herald_. + +The affidavits will be published as soon as they shall be received from +Canada. Maria Monk's Book, far from injuring the Catholic religion, will +promote it; for the publication is a real _disclosure_ of the +wickedness and hypocrisy of its enemies, who dare to go as far as to +conceal their own crimes, by calumniating those who never did any thing +against them, and have never interfered with them. Probably the author +of this _pious book_ is a minister; and, what is more remarkable, +not a single one of the ministers has opposed it, or cautioned the +people against it, as it is their duty to do, the calumniators being of +their own congregation. However, by holding a prayer-meeting, making +_a few faces_, and giving a few affecting _turns_ to their +voices, they certainly have already washed out the awful crime of these +calumnies, because faith alone will save them, and they certainly have +the true faith, which shows itself by these true fruits of charity. They +are the elect, and consequently, they are not like the Catholic Priests, +who are all wicked. The reader may recollect the parable of the pharisee +and the publican. + + * * * * * + +"Granting the truth of Maria Monk's story, will it not reveal the +weakness of Protestant origin? Where would Protestantism be, were it not +engendered and nursed by profligate Monks and Nuns? Yes, gentlemen, +profligate Monks and Nuns have been your nursing Fathers and Mothers! +The chaste spouse of the Redeemer could hold no fellowship with such +characters. She has flung them over the fences of the 'fold,' happy to +have a sink into which to throw her filth." + +As soon as my first edition appeared, several of the newspapers of New +York referred to the publication in terms of unqualified condemnation. +Not content with giving my motives in producing it, without having seen +me, they hesitated not to pronounce it utterly false, with as much +boldness as if they had really known something more of the matter than +the public at large. A poor and injured female had disclosed to their +countrymen facts of deep interest to all; and they, without examination, +perhaps without leaving their offices to make a single inquiry, did +their utmost to decry me, and used terms which they cannot but regret +sooner or later. + +Requests were immediately made to some of them to listen to evidence, +which were not accepted. The editors of the Courier and Enquirer were +requested, in a note from the publishers, to mention in their paper what +parts of my book they intended to pronounce false, and what was their +evidence. But they took no notice of it, although desired to publish the +note. Many other editors were invited to publish communications or +extracts, but most of them refused from the first, and all the papers +were soon closed against my cause. + +In the country, the newspapers generally, I believe, followed the +example set in this city, though in Albany, Boston, and one or two other +places, a solitary one or two appeared disposed to examine the subject. + +At length appeared the long-threatened Montreal affidavits, which are +here inserted. They were published in several Roman Catholic, and one or +two Protestant papers in New York, with this introduction-- + +_"Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' Villany exposed!!_ + +"Of all the curious pranks and fanatical schemes which the foes of +Catholicity have been playing for some years past, there is not one that +fills the mind with greater disgust than the scandalous tale given to +the public by Maria Monk and her wicked associate. + +"By the evidence which covers the following pages, the reader will see +the man himself clearly convinced of being a base calumniator, and arch- +hypocrite. He, and his associate prostitute, will be seen, with brazen +impudence, attempting to fix on the virtuous Catholic Ladies and +Catholic Priests of Montreal, the shameless character which belongs only +to themselves." + +_From the Montreal Courier,_ Nov. 16, 1835. + +"The _New York Protestant Vindicator_ of the 4th November, +reiterates its calumnies concerning the Roman Catholic Clergy and Nuns +of this city. We cherished the hope that, after the simultaneous and +unanimous expressions of disbelief and reprehension with which its +extravagant assertions had been met by the Canadian press, both +Protestant and Catholic, the conductors of that journal would have been +slow to repeat, without better evidence of their truth, the same +disgraceful charges. We have been deceived in our calculation. The +fanatical print demands _counter evidence_ before it will withdraw, +or acknowledge the falsehood of its previous statements. We believe that +_counter_ evidence has already been adduced, of a nature far +surpassing, in weight, the claims to credibility which the accusations +themselves could offer. The impure fabrication trumped up by a woman of +immoral character and insane mind, in conjunction with a man of equally +depraved habits, can never be weighed in the balance with the testimony +of Protestants, living in the same community as the accused, and, +therefore, possessing the means of judging of the truth or falsehood of +what was advanced. By any persons of less interested credulity, and of +more discriminating and moral honesty, than what the conductors of the +_Protestant Vindicator_ appear to possess, counter evidence of the +above nature would have been deemed sufficient. + +"There are two reasons which have mainly weighed with us, to revert to +the subject of the _Protestant Vindicator's_ charges, and to +publish the subjoined lengthy documents. We consider, in the first +place, our endeavours to expose falsehood as a solemn duty we owe to the +defamed; and, in the second, we should regard ourselves to be degraded +in the eyes of the world, did we live in a community where such +abominations, as are alleged, existed, and not dare, openly and loudly, +to denounce the perpetrators. + +"Under these impressions, we proceed, at a considerable sacrifice of the +space of our journal, to lay before our readers the following +affidavits, which will sufficiently disclose the nature of the +_Protestant Vindicator's_ calumnies, their origin, and the degree +of credit which can be attached to them." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF DR. ROBERTSON.) + +"William Robertson, of Montreal, Doctor in Medicine, being duly sworn on +the Holy Evangelists, deposeth and saith as follows:--On the 9th of +November, 1834, three men came up to my house, having a young female in +company with them, who, they said, was observed that forenoon, on the +bank of the Canal, near the extremity of the St. Joseph Suburbs, acting +in a manner which induced some people who saw her to think that she +intended to drown herself. They took her into a house in the +neighbourhood, where, after being there some hours, and interrogated as +to who she was, &c., she said she was the daughter of Dr. Robertson. On +receiving this information, they brought her to my house. Being from +home when they came to the door, and learning from Mrs. Robertson that +she had denied them, they conveyed her to the watch-house. Upon hearing +this story, in company with G. Auldjo, Esq., of this city. I went to the +watch-house to inquire into the affair. We found the young female, whom +I have since ascertained to be Maria Monk, daughter of W. Monk, of this +city, in custody. She said, that although she was not my daughter, she +was the child of respectable parents, in or very near Montreal, who from +some light conduct of hers, (arising from temporary insanity, to which +she was at times subject from her infancy.) had kept her confined and +chained in a cellar for the last four years. Upon examination, no mark +or appearance indicated the wearing of manacles, or any other mode of +restraint. She said, on my observing this, that her mother always took +care to cover the irons with soft cloths to prevent them injuring the +skin. From the appearance of her hands, [Footnote: Compare this with the +last sentence but one in the affidavit. Why does Dr. R. not give names +of persons and their affidavits? It has not yet been done--April, 1836.] +she evidently had not been used to work. To remove her from the watch- +house, where she was confined with some of the most profligate women of +the town, taken up for inebriety and disorderly conduct in the streets, +as she could not give a satisfactory account of herself, I as a Justice +of the Peace, sent her to jail as a vagrant. The following morning, I +went to the jail for the purpose of ascertaining, if possible, who she +was. After considerable persuasion, she promised to divulge her story to +the Rev. H. Esson, one of the clergymen of the Church of Scotland, to +whose congregation she said her parents belonged. That gentleman did +call at the jail, and ascertained who she was. In the course of a few +days she was released, and I did not see her again until the month of +August last, when Mr. Johnston, of Griffintown, Joiner, and Mr. Cooley, +of the St. Ann Suburbs, Merchant, called upon me, about ten o'clock at +night, and, after some prefatory remarks, mentioned that the object of +their visit was, to ask me, as a magistrate, to institute an inquiry +into some very serious charges which had been made against some of the +Roman Catholic Priests of that place, and the Nuns of the General +Hospital, by a female, who had been a Nun in that Institution for four +years, and who had divulged the horrible secrets of that establishment, +such as the illicit and criminal intercourse between the Nuns and the +Priests, stating particulars of such depravacy of conduct, on the part +of these people, in this respect, and their murdering the offspring of +these criminal connexions, as soon as they were born, to the number of +from thirty to forty every year. I instantly stated, that I did not +believe a word of what they told me, and that they must have been +imposed upon by some evil-disposed and designing person. Upon inquiry +who this Nun, their informant, was, I discovered that she answered +exactly the description of Maria Monk, whom I had so much trouble about +last year, and mentioned to these individuals my suspicion, and what I +knew of that unfortunate girl. Mr. Cooley said to Mr. Johnston, let us +go home, we are hoaxed. They told me that she was then at Mr. Johnston's +house, and requested me to call there, and hear her own story. The next +day, or the day following, I did call, and saw Maria Monk, at Mr. +Johnston's house. She repeated in my presence the substance of what was +mentioned to me before, relating to her having been in the Nunnery for +four years; having taken the black veil; the crimes committed there; and +a variety of other circumstances concerning the Priests and Nuns. A Mr. +Hoyte was introduced to me, and was present during the whole of the time +that I was in the house. He was represented as one of the persons who +had come from New York with this young woman, for the purpose of +investigating into this mysterious affair. I was asked to take her +deposition, on her oath, as to the truth of what she had stated. I +declined doing so, giving as reason, that, from my knowledge of her +character, I considered her assertions upon oath were not entitled to +more credit than her bare assertion, and that I did not believe either: +intimating, at the same time, my willingness to take the necessary steps +for a full investigation, if they could get any other person to +corroborate any part of her solemn testimony, or if a direct charge were +to be made against any particular individual of a criminal nature. +During the first interview with Messrs. Johnston and Cooley, they +mentioned, that Maria Monk had been found in New York in a very +destitute situation by some charitable individuals, who administered to +her necessities, being very sick. She expressed a wish to see a +clergyman, as she had a dreadful secret which she wished to divulge +before she died; a clergyman visiting her, she related to him the +alleged crimes of the Priests and Nuns of the General Hospital at +Montreal. After her recovery, she was visited and examined by the Mayor +and some lawyers at New York, afterward at Troy, in the State of New +York, on the subject; and I understood them to say, that Mr. Hoyte and +two other gentlemen, one of them a lawyer, were sent to Montreal, for +the purpose of examining into the truth of the accusations thus made. +Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria Monk's story, I thought it +incumbent upon me to make some inquiry concerning it, and have +ascertained where she had been residing a great part of the time she +states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During the summer of 1832 +she was at service in William Henry's; the winters of 1823-3, she passed +in this neighborhood, at St. Ours and St. Denis. The accounts given of +her conduct that season corroborate the opinions I had before +entertained of her character. + +"W. ROBERTSON. + +"Sworn before me, Montreal, this 14th day of November, 1835. + +"BENJ. HOLMES, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MY MOTHER.) + +"On this day, the twenty-fourth day of October, one thousand eight +hundred and thirty-five, before me, William Robertson, one of his +Majesty's Justices of the Peace for the district of Montreal, came and +appeared Isabella Mills, [Footnote: My mother's maiden name was Mills] +of the city of Montreal, widow of the late William Monk, who declared, +that wishing to guard the public against the deception which has lately +been practised in Montreal by designing men, who have taken advantage of +the occasional derangement of her daughter, to make scandalous +accusations against the Priests and the Nuns in Montreal, and afterward +to make her pass herself for a nun, who had left the Convent. And after +having made oath on the holy evangelists, (to say the truth) the said +Isabella Mills declares and says, a man decently dressed (whom afterward +I knew to be W. R. Hoyte. stating himself to be a minister of New York,) +came to my house on or about the middle of August last, and inquired for +one Mr. Mills; that Mr. Esson, a minister here, had told him I could +give him some information about that man; I replied that I knew no one +of that name in Montreal, but that I had a brother of that name five +miles out of town. He then told me that he had lately come to Montreal, +with a young woman and child of five weeks old; that the woman had +absconded from him at Goodenough's tavern, where they were lodging, and +left him with the child; he gave me a description of the woman: I +unfortunately discovered that the description answered my daughter, and +the reflection that this stranger had called upon Mr. Esson, our pastor, +and inquiring for my brother, I suspected that this was planned: I asked +for the child, and said that I would place it in a nunnery: to that Mr. +Hoyte started every objection, in abusive language against the nuns. At +last he consented to give me the child, provided I would give my writing +that it should be presented when demanded. We left the house together, +Mr. Hoyte requested me to walk at a distance from him, as he was a +gentleman. I followed him to Mr. Goodenough's Hotel, and he directed me +to room No. 17, and to demand the child; a servant maid gave it to me; +Mr. Hoyte came up, and gave me the clothing. I came home with the child, +and sent Mrs. Tarbert, an old acquaintance, in search of my daughter; +her disposition will be seen. The next day, Mr. Hoyte came in with an +elderly man, Dr. Judge Turner, decently dressed, whom he introduced to +me as a Mr. Turner, of St. Alban's. They demanded to see the child, +which I produced. Mr. Hoyte demanded if I had discovered the mother; I +said not. She must be found, said he; she has taken away a shawl and a +bonnet belonging to a servant girl at Goodenough's; he would not pay for +them; she had cost him too much already; that, his things were kept at +the hotel on that account. Being afraid that this might more deeply +involve my daughter, I offered my own shawl to replace the one taken; +Mr. Hoyte first took it but afterward returned it to me on my promise +that I would pay for the shawl and bonnet. In the course of the day, +Mrs. Tarbert found my daughter, but she would not come to my house; she +sent the bonnet and shawl, which were returned to their owner, who had +lent them to my daughter, to assist her in procuring her escape from Mr. +Hoyte at the hotel. Early on the afternoon of the same day, Mr. Hoyte +came to my house with the same old man, wishing me to make all my +efforts to find the girl, in the meantime speaking very bitterly against +the Catholics, the Priests, and the Nuns; mentioning that my daughter +had been in the nunnery, where she had been ill treated. I denied that +my daughter had ever been in a nunnery; that when she was about eight +years of age, she went to a day-school. At that time came in two other +persons, whom Mr. Hoyte introduced; one was Rev. Mr. Brewster, I do not +recollect the other reverence's name. They all requested me, in the most +pressing terms, to try to make it out; my daughter had been in the +nunnery; and that she had some connection with the Priests of the +seminary, of which nunneries and Priests she spoke in the most +outrageous terms; said, that should I make that out, myself, my +daughter, and child, would be protected for life. I expected to get rid +of their importunities, in relating the melancholy circumstances by +which my daughter was frequently deranged in her head, and told them, +that when at the age of about seven years, she broke a slate pencil in +her head; that since that time her mental faculties were deranged, and +by times much more than at other times, but that she was far from being +an idiot; that she could make the most ridiculous, but most plausible +stories; and that as to the history that she had been in a nunnery, it +was a fabrication, for she never was in a nunnery; that at one time I +wished to obtain a place in a nunnery for her; that I had employed the +influence of Mrs. De Montenach, of Dr. Nelson, and of our pastor, the +Rev. Mr. Esson, but without success. I told them notwithstanding I was a +Protestant and did not like the Catholic religion--like all other +respectable Protestants, I held the priests of the seminary and the nuns +of Montreal in veneration, as the most pious and charitable persons I +ever knew. After many more solicitations to the same effect, three of +them retired, but Mr. Hoyte remained, adding to the other solicitations; +he was stopped, a person having rapped at the door; it was then +candlelight. I opened the door, and found Doctor McDonald, who told me +that my daughter Maria was at his house, in the most distressing +situation; that she wished him to come and make her peace with me; I +went with the Doctor to his house in M'Gill-street; she came with me to +near my house, but would not come in, notwithstanding I assured her that +she would be kindly treated, and that I would give her her child; she +crossed the parade ground, and I went into the house, and returned for +her.--Mr. Hoyte followed me. She was leaning on the west railing of the +parade; we went to her: Mr. Hoyte told her, my dear Mary, I am sorry you +have treated yourself and me in this manner; I hope you have not exposed +what has passed between us, nevertheless; I will treat you the same as +ever, and spoke to her in the most affectionate terms; took her in his +arms; she at first spoke to him very cross, and refused to go with him, +but at last consented and went with him, absolutely refusing to come to +my house. Soon after, Mr. Hoyte came and demanded the child; I gave it +to him. Next morning Mr. Hoyte returned, and was more pressing than in +his former solicitation, and requested me to say that my daughter had +been in the nunnery: that should I say so, it would be better than one +hundred pounds to me; that I would be protected for life, and that I +should leave Montreal, and that I would be better provided for +elsewhere; I answered, that thousands of pounds would not induce me to +perjure myself; then he got saucy and abusive to the utmost; he said he +came to Montreal to detect the infamy of the Priests and the Nuns; that +he could not leave my daughter destitute in the wide world as I had +done: afterward said, No! she is not your daughter, she is too sensible +for that, and went away--He was gone but a few minutes, when Mr. Doucet, +an ancient Magistrate in Montreal, entered. That gentleman told me that +Mr. Goodenough had just now called upon him, and requested him to let me +know that I had a daughter in Montreal; that she had come in with a Mr. +Hoyte and a child, and that she had left Mr. Hoyte and the child, but +that she was still in Montreal, so as to enable me to look for her, and +that I might prevent some mischief that was going on. Then I related to +him partly what I have above said. When he was going, two other +gentlemen came. I refused to give them any information at first, +expecting that they were of the party that had so much agitated me for a +few days; but being informed by Mr. Doucet, that he knew one of them, +particularly Mr. Perkins, for a respectable citizen for a long time in +Montreal, and the other Mr. Curry, two ministers from the United States, +that if they came to obtain some information about the distressing +events she related to have occurred in her family, he thought it would +do no harm, and I related it to them: they appeared to be afflicted with +such a circumstance; I have not seen them any more. I asked Mr. Doucet +if the man Hoyte could not be put in jail; he replied that he thought +not, for what he knew of the business. Then I asked if the Priests were +informed of what was going on; he replied, yes, but they never take up +these things; they allow their character to defend itself. A few days +after, I heard that my daughter was at one Mr. Johnson's, a joiner, at +Griffintown, with Mr. Hoyte; that he passed her for a nun that had +escaped from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. I went there two days successively +with Mrs. Tarbert; the first day, Mrs. Johnson denied her, and said that +she was gone to New York with Mr. Hoyte. As I was returning, I met Mr. +Hoyte on the wharf, and I reproached him for his conduct. I told him +that my daughter had been denied me at Johnson's, but that I would have +a search-warrant to have her; when I returned, he had really gone with +my unfortunate daughter; and I received from Mr. Johnson, his wife and a +number of persons in their house, the grossest abuse, mixed with texts +of the Gospel, Mr. Johnson bringing a Bible for me to swear on. I +retired more deeply afflicted than ever, and further sayeth not. + +"Sworn before me, this 24th of October, 1835." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF NANCY M'GAN.) + +"_Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, came and appeared Nancy M'Gan, of +Montreal, wife of James Tarbert, who has requested me to receive this +affidavit, and declared that she had been intimately acquainted with +Mrs. (widow) Monk, of Montreal, a Protestant woman. I know the said +Maria Monk; last spring she told me that the father of the child she +then was carrying, was burned in Mr. Owsten's house. She often went away +in the country, and at the request of her mother I accompanied her +across the river. Last summer she came back to my lodgings, and told me +that she had made out the father of the child; and that very night left +me and went away. The next morning I found that she was in a house of +bad fame, where I went for her, and told the woman keeping that house, +that she ought not to allow that girl to remain there, for she was a +girl of good and honest family. Maria Monk then told me that she would +not go to him (alluding, as I understood, to the father of the child), +for that he wanted her to swear an oath that would lose her soul for +ever, but jestingly said, should make her a lady for ever. I then told +her (Maria), do not lose your soul for money. She told me she had +swapped her silk gown in the house where I had found her, for a calico +one, and got some money to boot; having previously told me if she had +some money she would go away, and would not go near him any more. Soon +after, Mr. Hoyte and another gentleman came. Mr. Hoyte asked me where +she had slept the night previous, and that he would go for the silk +gown; the woman showed the gown, and told him that if he would pay three +dollars he should have the gown; he went away, and came back with Maria +Monk, paid the three dollars and got the gown; I was then present. + +"Being at Mrs. Monk's, I saw a child which she mentioned to be her +daughter Maria's child. Some time after, Mrs. Monk requested me to +accompany her to Griffintown, to look for her daughter. We went, to Mr. +Johnson's house, a joiner in that suburb: we met Mr. Hoyte and he spoke +to Mrs. Monk; when at Mr. Johnson's, Mrs. Manly asked for her daughter; +Mrs. Johnson said she was not there. I saw Mr. Hoyte at Mrs. Monk's; he +was in company with three other persons, apparently Americans, earnestly +engaged in conversation, but so much confused I could not make out what +was said; and farther sayeth not." + +"Her + +"NANCY + M'GAN. + +"mark. + +"Sworn before me, on this 24th October, 1835. + +"W. ROBERTSON, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF ASA GOODENOUGH.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of his Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, appeared Asa Goodenough, of +Montreal, holder of the Exchange Coffee House, who, after having made +oath upon the Holy Evangelists, declareth and sayeth, that on or about +the nineteenth of August last, two gentlemen and a young female with a +child, put up at the Exchange Coffee House, of which I am the owner; +they were entered in the book, one under the name of Judge Turner, the +other as Mr. Hoyte, a Methodist preacher, and agent or superintendent +for the establishment of Sunday-schools, &c. + +"Being informed by Catherine Conners, a confidential servant, that +something mysterious was passing amongst the above-named, which led me +to call on them for an explanation, they answered in a very +unsatisfactory manner. I afterward learned that the name of the young +woman was Maria Monk, that her mother lived in town, that she was not +married to Mr. Hoyte, and they came to Montreal with the view, as Mr. +Hoyte said, to disclose the infamy of the Priests, whilst she was at the +Nunnery. I thought it prudent to give information of this to a +magistrate. Seeing Mr. Doucet's name on the list, I went to him, and +requested him to give information to the mother of the young woman, of +the circumstances in which her daughter was. He did so, and the +disclosure of the design of Mr. Hoyte was the consequence. + +"Montreal. + +"ASA GOODENOUGH." + + * * * * * + +"The following affidavits have been translated from the _L'Ami du +Peuple,_ Montreal, Nov. 7, 1835." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF CATHARINE CONNERS.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace for +the District of Montreal, appeared Catherine Conners of Montreal, a +servant in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, in the city of Montreal; she +having made oath on the Holy Evangelists, to say the truth and nothing +but the truth, declared and said what follows: + +"Towards the 19th of August last, two men and a woman came to the +_Exchange Coffee House_; their names were written in the book, one +by the name of Judge Turner, and the other as Mr. Hoyte; the name of the +woman was not written in the book, in which the names of travellers are +written, because I was informed that they were taking a single room with +two beds. Some time after another room was given to them for their +accommodation; the woman passed for the wife of Mr. Hoyte. + +"The day following, when I was making the bed, I found the woman in +tears; having made the remark to her that her child was a very young +traveller, she replied that she had not the power to dispense with the +journey, for they travelled on business of importance; she also said +that she had never had a day of happiness since she had left Montreal, +which was four years, with Mr. Hoyte; she expressed a wish to go and see +her father. She entreated me to try and procure secretly clothes for +her, for Mr. Hoyte wished to dine with her in his own room, in which he +was then taking care of the child. I gave her my shawl and bonnet, and +conducted her secretly out by the street St Pierre; she never returned, +and left the child in the hands of Mr. Hoyte. She said that her +_husband_ was a Methodist preacher, and agent of the Sunday School +for Montreal, in which he had resided four months last winter; but she +had not then been with him. When I returned to the room, Mr. Hoyte was +still taking care of the child; be asked me if I had seen _his +lady_; I said no. Upon this question he told me that the father of +_his lady_ was dead, that her mother yet lived in the suburbs of +Quebec, and he asked me for all the clothes which I had given to wash +for him, _his lady_ and child; clothes the _lady_ had taken +from the only portmanteau which they had. Beyond that, I perceived +nothing remarkable, except that Mr. Hoyte wished to conceal this woman, +and to prevent her from going out. I heard the judge say to him, 'now +she is yours.' Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + +Mary McCaffrey, also a chambermaid in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, +corroborates the preceding deposition. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF HENRY M'DONALD.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace, +for the District of Montreal, appeared Henry M'Donald, physician, who, +after taking an oath on the Holy Evangelists to say the truth, declared, +that in the month of August last, at seven o'clock in the evening, a +young woman called at his house with all the symptoms of an +extraordinary agitation, and in great distress. She asked his +professional advice, complaining of great pains in the breast. On +questioning her, he learned that she had a young child, which she said +was at Mr. Goodenough's, and that this child was taken away from her. +She said that the father of the child was a Methodist Minister, and +general agent of the Sunday-Schools. She told me his name, but I cannot +recollect it. She told me that now and then her intellectual faculties +were weakened in such a manner that she could not support herself. She +told me that she would be under great obligation to me, if I would go to +her mother's house, and get her child, and procure lodgings for her; +that she was without means, and did not know where to go. She could not +remain with her mother, because she felt that her conduct had disgraced +her family. I went in quest of Mrs. Monk, her mother; she had just come +in quest of her daughter, and they went away together from my house. + +(Signed) "HENRY M'DONALD." + +"Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MATTHEW RICHEY.) + +_To the Editor of the Montreal Morning Courier._ + +Sir,--Among the affidavits published in your paper of to-day, relating +to Mr. Hoyte and Maria Monk, I observe a deposition by Mr. Goodenough, +that when Mr. Hoyte, in the month of August last, put up at the Exchange +Coffee-house, he was entered on the book as a _Methodist Preacher, and +Agent or Superintendant of Sunday Schools_, &c. It has, however, been +ascertained, from an examination of the book referred too, that no +official designation is appended in it to Mr. Hoyte's name. This +discrepancy, Mr. Goodenough states, took place entirely through mistake, +and he did not know that Mr. Hoyte was thus characterized in his +affidavit till he saw it in print. But as a similar mistake has found +its way into several of the depositions which have been elicited by this +unhappy affair, I deem it incumbent upon me, as a regularly appointed +Methodist Minister of this city, to declare that Mr. Hoyte has never had +any connexion with the Methodist Society, either as a preacher or as an +agent for Sunday Schools; and I would, at the same time, express my +surprise and regret, that the _New York Protestant Vindicator_ +should have taken up, and industriously circulated, charges of so grave +a nature against the Priests and Nuns of this city, derived from so +polluted a source. From such a species of _vindication_, no cause +can receive either honour or credit. By giving this publicity, you will +confer a favour on yours, respectfully, + +"MATTHEW RICHEY, _Wesleyan Minister_." + +"Montreal, Nov. 16, 1835. + + * * * * * + +"Although we could produce several other affidavits, of an equally +unimpeachable character as the above, yet we deem the evidence advanced +more than enough to show the entire, falsehood and extravagance of the +fabrications in the _Protestant Vindicator_." + + * * * * * + +Here closes all the testimony that has been published or brought against +me. It requires the suppression of my feelings to repeat to the world +charges against myself and my companions, so unfounded, and painful to +every virtuous reader. But I [illegible] to the truth to substantiate my +narrative, and prefer that everything should be fairly laid before the +world. That my opponents had nothing further to produce against me at +that time, is proved by the following remark by the Editor of the New +York Catholic Diary, to be found in very paper in which he published the +preceding affidavits:-- + +_"Here, then, is the whole!"_ + +In a N. Y. Catholic Diary of March last, is a letter from Father +McMahon, a Missionary, dated at Sherbrooke, in Canada, in which, as will +be seen by the extracts given beyond, he does not even allude to any +other testimony than this. Of course my readers will allow that I have +reason to say--"Here, then, is the whole!" + +The following extracts are given for several reasons. 1st. To prove, by +the admission of my adversaries themselves, that no new testimony has +been produced since the publication of the Montreal affidavits. 2d. That +no disposition is shown to bring the truth to the only fair test--the +opening of the Nunnery. 3d. That they are inconsistent in several +respects, as, while they pretend to leave the characters of the priests +and nuns to defend themselves, they labour with great zeal and acrimony +to quiet public suspicion, and to discredit my testimony. 4th. Another +object in giving these extracts is, to show a specimen of the style of +most of the Roman Catholic writers against me. In respect to argument, +temper, and scarcity of facts, Father McMahon is on a level with the +editors of the Diary and Green Banner, judging from such of their papers +as I have seen. + + * * * * * + +_From Father McMahon's Letter to the editor of the N. Y. Catholic +Diary of March, 1836._ + +"The silence by which you indulge the latent springs of a mal-propense, +so far from being an argument for culpability, is based upon the +charitableness of a conscious innocence, and is, therefore, highly +commendable. I say it is highly commendable, inasmuch as these worthy +and respectable characters do not deign to answer falsehood, or turn +their attention from their sacred avocations by effectually repelling +allegations which all men, women, and children, able to articulate a +syllable, in the city of Montreal, have repeatedly pronounced to be +utterly false, detestably false, and abominably scandalous. + + * * * * * + +"May I now call upon you, honest Americans, who, though you may differ +from me in doctrinal points of religion, have, I trust, the due regard +for truth and charity towards all mankind; and into whose hand that +instrument of Satan's emissaries may fall, before you believe one +syllable [illegible] attentively to peruse the following +_facts_, which are [illegible] men of learning, of every +persuasion, and in every country, and which you will find, by mature +investigation, to serve as a sufficient key to discover the wicked +falsehoods, circulated by the enemies of truth, in the work called, 'The +Disclosures of Maria Monk,' but which, in consequence of the total +absence of truth from the things therein contained, I have termed (and I +think justly on that account), the devil's prayer-book. I beseech you to +give my statements a fair, but impartial trial, weigh correctly the +arguments opposed to them, according to your judgment--do not allow +yourselves to be gulled by the empty or unmeaning phraseology of some of +your bloated, though temperate, preachers. All I ask for the test of the +following statement, is simply and solely the exercise of your common +sense, without equivocation. 1st. I distinctly and unequivocally state, +that the impugners of the Catholic religion and its doctrines, never +dared to meet us in the fair field of argument. Never yet have they +entered the lists in an eristical encounter, but to their cost. Why so? +because we have reason, religion, and the impenetrable shield of true +syllogistic argumentation in our favour. Witness, in support of the +assertion, the stupid and besotted crew (pardon me for this expression, +and find a proper term yourselves, for the politico-Theological +Charlatans of England), who, not daring to encounter the Catholic +Hierarchy of Ireland, in an honorable religious disputation, are forced +to drag to their assistance those very apostates from Catholicity who +were considered by their superiors unworthy of the situation they +attempted to hold in that Church; for the purpose of propping up the +staggering and debauched harlot, whose grave they are now preparing. +Only remark how they are obliged to have recourse to the exploded +scholastic opinion of Peter Dens, by way of showing the intolerance of +the Catholics, who repudiate the doctrine of religious intolerance. +Maryland, Bavaria, and the Cantons of Switzerland, prove the contrary by +their universal religious toleration. Now I could mention, if I thought +I had space enough on this sheet, numbers of Protestant divines, who, in +their writings, have strongly inculcated the absurd doctrines of ruling +our consciences by the authority of the Civil Magistrates. See then, how +strange it is that they seek to condemn us for doctrines which we abhor, +and which they practice, even to this day. Mark that for an argument +against our doctrines. + +"2dly. I assert, that notwithstanding all the persecutions, all the +falsehood and defamation daily exercised against the Catholics and their +religion, they are at this moment the only people on the face of the +earth, who maintain amongst them the unity of the true faith, and the +regular succession in the Ministry, from Christ and his Apostles. + +"3dly. I assert, that the late scandalous production against the Catholic +Clergy of Montreal and the Catholic institutions there, is a tissue of +false, foul, designing, and scandalous misrepresentation. 1st. Because +upon strict examination into all its bearings, it has been so proved +upon the solemn oaths of a magistrate and others concerned. 2dly. +Because it is no way consonant to reason or common sense to say that +those living at a considerable distance, and avowedly hostile to the +Catholics and their religion, should feel so interested in the matter? +as the Catholics themselves, who are vitally concerned, and who had +every facility of discovering any impropriety; who are zealous of the +purity of their religion and its Ministers. 3dly. Because the loud cry +of all the inhabitants of every denomination, from the well-known +integrity, the extraordinary piety, the singular charity and devotedness +of the Catholic Clergy, came in peals of just wrath and well-merited +indignation on the heads of the degenerate monsters who basely, but +ineffectually, attempted to murder the unsullied fame of those whom they +deservedly held, and will hold, in the highest estimation. + +"T. B. McMahon, _Missionary_." + +Now this letter alludes to testimony legally given, as substantiating +the charges against me. What testimony is intended? Any new testimony? +If so, where, and what is it? I never heard of any, of any description, +except what I have inserted on the preceding pages, unless I except the +violent, unsupported, and inconsistent assertion in newspapers, before +alluded to. Has any testimony, legally given, been produced, which +neither the Catholic Diary, nor any other Catholic paper, has either +inserted or alluded to? No. The Missionary, McMahon, must refer to the +Montreal affidavits; and since he has expressed his opinion in relation +to their credibility and weight, I request my readers to form their own +opinions, as I have put the means in their power. + +It may, perhaps, appear to some, an act displaying uncommon +"_concern_" in my affairs, or those of the Convent, for Father +McMahon to take the pains to write on the subject from Canada. I know +more of him and his concerns than the public do; and I am glad that my +book has reached him. Happy would it have been for him, if he could +prove that he did not leave Sherbrooke from the day when I took the +Black veil, until the day when I cast it off. There are many able to +bear witness against him in that institution (if they have not been +removed), and one out of it, who could easily silence him, by +disclosures that he has too much reason to apprehend. + +But to return--I assure my readers, then, that this book contains all +the testimony that has been brought against me, so far as I can +ascertain. + +The extensive publication of the Montreal affidavits (for they appeared +in the Roman Catholic papers, and were circulated, it is believed, very +generally through New York), for a time, almost entirely closed the +newspapers against me. My publishers addressed the following letter to +the, editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary, and waited on him with a third +person, to request its publication in his next paper, but he declined. +He expressed doubts of my being in the city, and intimated a wish to see +me; but when they acceded, he refused to meet me anywhere but _at his +own residence!_ + +The same letter was then offered to other editors in New York, and even +sent to Philadelphia for publication, but refused. It appeared on the +29th of February, in the Brooklyn Star, thus introduced:-- + +_Extracts from the Long Island Star of Feb. 29th._ + +"Since the publication of our last paper, we have received a +communication from Messrs. Howe and Bates, of New York, the publishers +of Miss Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' It appears that some influences have +been at work in that city, adverse to the free examination of the case +between her and the priests of Canada; for thus far the news papers have +been almost entirely closed against every thing in her defence, while +most of them have published false charges against the book, some of a +preposterous nature, the contradiction of which is plain and palpable. + +"Returning to New York, she then first resolved to publish her story, +which she has recently done, after several intelligent and disinterested +persons had satisfied themselves by much examination that it was +_true_. + +"When it became known in Canada that this was her intention, six +affidavits were published in some of the newspapers, intended to destroy +confidence in her character; but these were found very contradictory in +several important points, and others to afford undersigned confirmation +of statements before made by her. + +"On the publication of her book, the New York Catholic Diary, the Truth +Teller, the Green Banner, and other papers, made virulent attacks upon +it, and one of them proposed that the publishers should be 'Lynched.' An +anonymous handbill was also circulated in New York, declaring the work a +malignant libel, got up by Protestant clergymen, and promising an ample +refutation of it in a few days. This was re-published in the Catholic +Diary, &c. with the old Montreal affidavits which latter were also +distributed through New York and Brooklyn; and on the authority of +these, several Protestant newspapers denounced the work as false and +malicious. + +"Another charge, quite inconsistent with the rest, was also made, not +only by the leading Roman Catholic papers, but by several others at +second hand--viz. that it was a mere copy of an old European work. This +has been promptly denied by the publishers, with the offer of $100 +reward for any book at all resembling it. + +"Yet, such is the resolution of some and the unbelief of others, that it +is impossible for the publishers to obtain insertion for their replies +in the New York papers generally, and they have been unsuccessful in an +attempt in Philadelphia. + +"This is the ground on which the following article has been offered to +us for publication in the Star. It was offered to Mr. Schneller, a Roman +priest, and editor of the Catholic Diary, for insertion in his paper of +Saturday before last, but refused, although written expressly as an +answer to the affidavits and charges his previous number had contained. +This article has also been refused insertion in a Philadelphia daily +paper, after it had been satisfactorily ascertained that there was no +hope of gaining admission for it into any of the New York papers. + +"It should be stated, in addition, that the authoress of the book, Maria +Monk, is in New York, and stands ready to answer any questions, and +submit to any inquiries, put in a proper manner, and desires nothing so +strongly as an opportunity to prove before a court the truth of her +story. She has already found several persons of respectability who have +confirmed some of the facts, important and likely to be attested by +concurrent evidence; and much testimony in her favour may be soon +expected by the public. + +"With these facts before them, intelligent readers will judge for +themselves. She asks for investigation, while her opponents deny her +every opportunity to meet the charges made against her. Mr. Schneller, +after expressing a wish to see her, to the publishers, refused to +meet her anywhere, _unless in his own house;_ while Mr. Quarter, +another Roman Catholic priest, called to see her, at ten o'clock, one +night, accompanied by another man, without giving their names, and under +the false pretence of being bearers of a letter from her brother in +Montreal." + + * * * * * + +_Reply to the Montreal Affidavits, refused publication by the Catholic +Diary &c._ + +"To the Editor of the Catholic Diary. + +"SIR--In your paper of last Saturday, you published six affidavits from +Montreal, which are calculated, so far as they are believed, to +discredit the truth of the 'Awful Disclosures' of Maria Monk, a book of +which we are the publishers. We address the following remarks to you, +with a request that you will publish them in the Catholic Diary, that +your readers may have the means of judging for themselves. If the case +be so plain a one as you seem to suppose, they will doubtless perceive +more plainly the bearing and force of the evidence you present, when +they see it brought into collision with that which it is designed to +overthrow. + +"First, We have to remark, that the affidavits which you publish might +have been furnished you in this city, without the trouble or delay of +sending to Montreal. They have been here two or three months, and were +carefully examined about that period by persons who are acquainted with +Maria Monk's story, and were desirous of ascertaining the truth. After +obtaining further evidence from Canada these affidavits were decided to +contain strong confirmation of various points in her story, then already +written down, only part of which has yet been published. + +"Second. It is remarkable that of these six affidavits, the first is +that of Dr. Robinson, and all the rest are signed by him as Justice of +the Peace; and a Justice, too, who had previously refused to take the +affidavit of Maria Monk. Yet, unknown to himself, this same Dr. R., by +incidents of his own stating, corroborates some very important parts of +Miss Monk's statements. He says, indeed, that he has ascertained where +she was part of the time when she professed to have been in the Nunnery. +But his _evidence_ on this point is merely hearsay, and he does not +even favour us with that. + +"Third, One of the affidavits is that of Miss Monk's mother, who claims +to be a Protestant, and yet declares, that she proposed to send her +infant grandchild to a Nunnery! She says her daughter has long been +subject to fits of insanity, (of which, however, we can say no traces +are discoverable in New York,) and has never been in a Nunnery since she +was at school in one, while quite a child. She however does not mention +where her daughter has spent any part of the most important years of her +life. A large part of her affidavit, as well as several others, is taken +up with matter relating to one of the persons who accompanied Miss M. to +Montreal last summer, and has no claim to be regarded as direct evidence +for or against the authenticity of her book. + +"Fourth, The affidavit of Nancy McGan is signed with a cross, as by one +ignorant of writing; and she states that she visited a house of ill +fame, (to all appearance alone,) although, as she asserts, to bring away +Miss M. Her testimony, therefore, does not present the strongest claims +to our confidence. Besides, it is known that she has shown great +hostility, to Miss Monk, in the streets of Montreal: and she would not, +it is believed, have had much influence on an intelligent court or jury, +against Miss M., in that city, if the latter had been fortunate enough +to obtain the legal investigation into her charges, which as Dr. R. +mentions, she declared to be the express object of her visit to that +city, in the last summer, and in which she failed, after nearly a +month's exertion. + +"Fifth, The affidavit of Mr. Goodenough is contradicted in one point by +the letter of Mr. Richey, a Wesleyan minister, which you insert, and +contains little else of any importance to this or any other case. * * * * + +"Sixth, You copied in a conspicuous manner, from a Catholic paper in +Boston, a charge against the book, the groundlessness of which has been +exposed in some of the New York papers, viz. that large parts of it +were, 'word for word and letter for letter.' (names only altered,) +copied from a book published some years ago in Europe, under the title +of 'The Gates of Hell opened.' We have not seen in your paper any +correction of this aspersion, although the assertion of it has placed +you in a dilemma; for, if such were the fact, as you asserted, the +Montreal affidavits would have little application to the case. Besides, +that book, having proceeded from Catholics, and relating, as was +intimated, to scenes in European Convents, divulged by witnesses not +chargeable with prejudices against them, is to be taken for true with +other names; and therefore the charge of extravagance or improbability, +which is so much urged against our book, is entirely nullified, without +appealing to other sources of information which cannot be objected to. + +"But before closing, allow us to remark, that you, who claim so strongly +the confidence of your readers in the testimony of witnesses in +Montreal, who speak only of things collateral to the main subject in +question, must be prepared to lay extraordinary weight on evidence of a +higher nature, and must realize something of the anxiety with which we, +and the American public generally, we believe, stand ready to receive +the evidence to be displayed to the eye and to the touch, either for or +against the solemn declaration of Miss Monk, whenever the great test +shall be applied to which she appeals, viz. the opening of the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. Then, sir, and not till then, will the great +question be settled,--Is our book true or false? Affidavits may possibly +be multiplied, although you say, 'Here, then, is the whole!' Dr. +Robertson may be called again to testify, or receive testimony as +Justice of the Peace,--but the question is _not_, what do people +believe or think _outside_ of the _Convent?_ but, _'what has +been done in it?'_ + +"By the issue of this investigation, Miss Monk declares she is ready to +stand or fall. + +"You speak, sir, of the 'backwardness' of persons to appear in defence +of Miss Monk's book. We promise to appear as often on the subject as you +are willing to publish our communications. In one of the paragraphs you +publish, our book is spoken of as one of the evils arising from a +'_free_ press.' We think, sir, that 'a free press' is exposed to +less condemnation through the 'Awful Disclosures,' than the 'close +Nunneries' which it is designed to expose. + +"Respectfully, &c + +"New York, Feb. 22d, 1836." + + * * * * * + +The above was afterward copied in other papers. The following +certificate appeared in the Protestant Vindicator, and other papers, in +March, 1836, introducing the two first witnesses. + +"_The truth of Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures' amply certified._ + +"We the subscribers, having an acquaintance with Miss Maria Monk, and +having considered the evidence of different kinds which has been +collected in relation to her case, have no hesitation in declaring our +belief in the truth of the statements she makes in her book recently +published in New York, entitled 'Awful Disclosures,' &c. We at that +same time declare that the assertion, originally made in the Roman +Catholic newspapers of Boston, that the book was copied from a work +entitled 'The Gates of Hell opened,' is wholly destitute of foundation; +it being entirely new, and not copied from any thing whatsoever. + +"And we further declare, that _no evidence has yet been produced which +discredits the statements of Miss Monk; while, on the contrary, her +story has received, and continues to receive, confirmation from various +sources._ + +"During the last week, two important witnesses spontaneously appeared, +and offered to give public testimony in her favour. From them the +following declarations have been received. The first is an affidavit +given by Mr. William Miller, now a resident of this city. The second is +a statement received from a young married woman, who, with her husband, +also resides here. In the clear and repeated statements made by these +two witnesses, we place entire reliance; who are ready to furnish +satisfaction to any persons making reasonable inquiries on the subject. + +"W. C. BROWNLEE. + +"JOHN J. SLOCUM. + +"ANDREW BRUCE. + +"D. FANSHAW. + +"AMOS BELDEN. + +"DAVID WESSON. + +"THOMAS HOGAN." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF WILLIAM MILLER.) + +"_City and County of New York, ss._ + +"William Miller being duly sworn, doth say--I knew Maria Monk when she +was quite a child, and was acquainted with all her father's family. My +father, Mr. Adam Miller, kept the government school at St. John's, Lower +Canada, for some years. Captain Wm. Monk, Maria's father, lived in the +garrison, a short distance from the village, and she attended the school +with me for some months, probably as much as a year. Her four brothers +also attended with us. Our families were on terms of intimacy, as my +father had a high regard for Captain Monk; but the temper of his wife +was such, even at that time, as to cause much trouble. Captain Monk died +very suddenly, as was reported, in consequence of being poisoned. Mrs. +Monk was then keeper of the Government House in Montreal, and received a +pension, which privilege she has since enjoyed. In the summer of 1832, I +left Canada, and came to this city. In about a year afterward I visited +Montreal, and on the day when the Governor reviewed the troops, I +believe about the end of August, I called at the Government House, where +I saw Mrs. Monk and several of the family. I inquired where Maria was, +and she told me that she was in the nunnery. This fact I well remember, +because the information gave me great pain, as I had unfavorable +opinions of the nunneries. On reading the 'Awful Disclosures,' I at once +knew she was the eloped nun, but was unable to find her until a few days +since, when we recognized each other immediately. I give with pleasure +my testimony in her favour, as she is among strangers, and exertions +have been made against her. I declare my personal knowledge of many +facts stated in her book, and my full belief in the truth of her story, +which, shocking as it is, cannot appear incredible to those persons +acquainted with Canada. + +"WILLIAM MILLER. + +"Sworn before me, this 3d day of March, 1836. + +"BENJAMIN D. K. CRAIG, + +"Commissioner of Deeds, &c." + + * * * * * + +_From the Protestant Vindicator of March 9._ + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above- +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +(TESTIMONY OF ANOTHER OLD SCHOOLMATE.) + +"I was born at Montreal, and resided there until within a few months, +and where my friends still remain. I was educated among the Catholics, +and have never separated myself from them. + +"I knew Maria Monk when quite a child. We went to school together for +about a year, as near as I can remember, to Mr. Workman, Sacrament- +street, in Montreal. She is about one month younger than myself. We left +that school at the same time, and entered the Congregational Nunnery +nearly together. I could mention many things which I witnessed there, +calculated to confirm some of her accounts. + +"I knew of the elopement of a priest named Leclerc, who was a confessor, +with a nun sent from the Congregational Nunnery to teach in a village. +They were brought back, after which she gave birth to an infant, and was +again employed as a teacher. + +"Children were often punished in the Congregational Nunnery, by being +made to stand with arms extended, to imitate Christ's posture on the +cross; and when we found vermin in our soup, as was often the case, we +were exhorted to overcome our repugnance to it, because Christ died for +us. I have seen such belts as are mentioned in the 'Awful Disclosures,' +as well as gags; but never saw them applied. + +"Maria Monk left the Congregational Nunnery before I did, and became a +Novice in the Hotel Dieu. I remember her entrance into the latter very +well, for we had a 'jour de conge,' holiday, on that occasion. + +"Some short time subsequently, after school hours one afternoon, while +in the school-room in the second story of the Congregational Nunnery, +several of the girls standing near a window exclaimed, 'There is Maria +Monk.' I sprang to the window to look, and saw her with several other +novices, in the yard of the Hotel Dieu, among the plants which grew +there. She did not appear to notice us, but I perfectly recognised her. + +"I have frequently visited the public hospital of the Hotel Dieu. It is +the custom there for some of the nuns and novices to enter at three +o'clock, P.M., in procession with food and delicacies for the sick. I +recollect some of my visits there by circumstances attending them. For +instance, I was much struck, on several occasions, by the beauty of a +young novice, whose slender, graceful form, and interesting appearance, +distinguished her from the rest. On inquiry, I learnt that her name was +Dubois, or something like it, and the daughter of an old man who had +removed from the country, and lived near the Place d'Armes. She was so +generally admired for her beauty, that she was called 'la belle St. +Francois'--St. Francis being the saint's name she had assumed in the +Convent. + +"I frequently went to the hospital to see two of my particular friends +who were novices: and subsequently to visit one who had a sore throat, +and was sick for some weeks. I saw Maria Monk there many times, in the +dress of a novice, employed in different ways but we were never allowed +to speak to each other. + +"Towards the close of the winter of 1833-4, I visited the hospital of +the Hotel Dieu very frequently, to see Miss Bourke, a friend of mine, +although I was not permitted to speak with her. While there one day, at +the hour of _'conge'_ or _'collation'_ which, as I before +stated, was at three P.M., a procession of nuns and novices entered, and +among the former I saw Maria Monk, with a black veil, &c. She perceived +and recognized me; but put her finger on her lips in token of silence; +and knowing how rigidly the rules were enforced, I did not speak. + +"A short time afterward, I saw her again in the same place, and under +similar circumstances. + +"I can fix the year when this occurred, because I recollect that the +nuns in the hospital stared at a red dress I wore that season; and I am +certain about that time of year, because I left my galoshes at the +door before I went in. + +"The improper conduct of a priest was the cause of my leaving the +Congregational Nunnery: for my brother saw him kissing a [illegible] +one day while he was on a visit to me, and exclaimed--'O mon Dieu! +what a place you are in!--If father does not take you out of it I +will, if I have to tear you away.' + +"After the last sight I had of Maria Monk in the hospital, I never saw +nor heard of her, until after I had been for some time an inhabitant of +New York. I then saw an extract from 'Awful Disclosures,' published in a +newspaper, when I was perfectly satisfied that she was the authoress, +and again at liberty. I was unable for several weeks to find her +residence, but at length visited the house when she was absent. Seeing +an infant among a number of persons who were strangers to me, as those +present will testify, I declared that it must be the child mentioned in +her book, from the striking resemblance it bears to Father Phelan, whom +I well know. This declaration has also been made by others. + +"When Maria Monk entered, she passed across the room, without turning +towards me; but I recognised her by her gait, and when she saw me she +knew me at once. I have since spent many hours with her, and am entirely +convinced of the truth of her story, especially as I knew many things +before which tend to confirm the statements which she makes." + +["It is superfluous to add any thing to the above testimony. Let the +Roman priests of Montreal open the Hotel Dieu Nunnery for our +inspection, and thus confute Maria Monk: or, Mr. Conroy is again +challenged to institute a criminal process against her, or a civil suit +against the publishers of her volume--They dare not place the eloped nun +or her booksellers in that 'Inquisition;' because they know that it +would only be 'putting themselves to the torture!'"--_Ed. Prot. +Vind._] + + * * * * * + +_From The Protestant Vindicator of March 16th._ + +"We recommend the following communications to all persons who doubt the +wickedness of Nunneries. The young gentleman who sent us the letter is +now in this city, and we have heard the same statements from other +witnesses. That subterraneous passages from the Seminary to the +Nunneries, we ourselves have seen, and close by the spot designated by +our correspondent:-- + +(STATEMENT OF J. M.) + +_"Underground passage from the Jesuit Seminary to the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, Montreal._ + +"I have been informed that you are endeavoring to obtain facts and other +incidental circumstances relative to the Black Nunnery, in Montreal, and +the disclosures concerning it, made by Maria Monk, in which are many +hard things, but hard as they are, they are not indigestible by us +Canadians; we believe that she has told but a small part of what she +must know, if she was but half the time there which she says she was. +Maria Monk has mentioned in her book something about the underground +passage which leads from the Black Nunnery to other places in Montreal. +That fact I know by ocular demonstration, and which nine tenths of the +Canadians also will not deny, for it has been opened several times by +the labourers, who have been digging for the purpose of laying pipes to +conduct gas and water. While preparing a place for the latter I saw one +of those passages; the earth being removed by the labourers, they struck +upon the top of the passage, and curiosity led them to see what was +beneath, for it sounded as though there was a hollow. They accordingly +removed the large flat stones which formed the top of the passage. Many +persons were looking on at the time, and several of them went down into +it; when they returned after a few minutes, they stated that they went +but a short distance, before they came to an intersection of passages, +and were afraid to proceed further. Shortly after, several priests were +on the spot, and prevented the people from further examining it; and had +the place shut up immediately, while they stood by and guarded it until +it was all done. The appearance of that part of the passage was the same +as I saw while they were laying the water pipes. The floor of it in both +[illegible] where I saw it was clean to appearance, with the exception of +a little dirt that fell in on opening them, and of stone flagging. I +have heard much about these underground passages in Montreal, in which +place I have spent the most of my days. I give you my name and +residence: and if you should be called upon from any quarter for the +truth of this statement. I am ready to attest it upon oath; and there +are others in this city who have witnessed the same things. The places +where those openings were made in the underground passages were in St. +Joseph street for the water pipes; and for the gas pipes in Notre-Dame +street, near Sacrament street, at a short distance from the Seminary. + +"W. M." + + * * * * * + +About the close of February last, a note was sent me from a person +signing himself the man who took me to the Almshouse. Soon after I had +an interview with Mr. Hilliker, whom I recognised as my first protector +in New York, and to whom I owe much--indeed, as I think, my life. He +kindly offered to give me his testimony, which follows:-- + +_From the New York Journal of Commerce_. + +(AFFIDAVIT OF JOHN HILLIKER,) + +_"City and County of New York, ss._ + +"John Hilliker, being duly sworn, doth depose and say--that one day +early in the month of May, 1835, while shooting near the Third Avenue, +opposite the three milestone, in company with three friends, I saw a +woman sitting in a field at a short distance, who attracted our +attention. On reaching her, we found her sitting with her head down, and +could not make her return any answer to our questions. On raising her +hat, we saw that she was weeping. She was dressed in an old calico +frock, (I think of a greenish colour,) with a checked apron, and an old +black bonnet. After much delay and weeping, she began to answer my +questions, but not until I had got my companions to leave us, and +assured her that I was a married man, and disposed to befriend her. + +"She then told me that her name was Maria, that she had been a nun in a +nunnery in Montreal, from which she had made her escape, on account of +the treatment she had received from priests in that institution, whose +licentious conduct she strongly intimated to me. She mentioned some +particulars concerning the Convent and her escape. She spoke +particularly of a small room where she used to attend, until the +physician entered to see the sick, when she accompanied him to write +down his prescriptions; and said that she escaped through a door which +he sometimes entered. She added, that she exchanged her dress after +leaving the nunnery, and that she came to New York in company with a +man, who left her as soon as the steamboat arrived. She farther stated, +that she expected soon to give birth to a child, having become pregnant +in the Convent; that she had no friend, and knew not where to find one; +that she thought of destroying her life; and wished me to leave her-- +saying, that if I should hear of a woman being found drowned in the East +River, she earnestly desired me never to speak of her. + +"I asked her if she had had any food that day, to which she answered, +no; and I gave her money to get some at the grocery of Mr. Cox, in the +neighbourhood. She left me, but I afterwards saw her in the fields, +going towards the river; and after much urgency, prevailed upon her to +go to a house where I thought she might be accommodated, offering to pay +her expenses. Failing in this attempt, I persuaded her, with much +difficulty, to go the Almshouse; and there we got her received, after I +had promised to call and see her, as she said she had something of great +consequence which she wished to communicate to me, and wished me to +write a letter to Montreal. + +"She had every appearance of telling the truth; so much so, that I have +never for a moment doubted the truth of her story, but told it to many +persons of my acquaintance, with entire confidence in its truth. She +seemed overwhelmed with grief, and in a very desperate state of mind. I +saw her weep for two hours or more without ceasing; and appeared very +feeble when attempting to walk, so that two of us supported her by the +arms. We observed also, that she always folded her hands under her apron +when she walked, as she has described the nuns as doing in her 'Awful +Disclosures.' + +"I called at the Almshouse gate several times and inquired for her; but +having forgotten half her name, I could not make it understood whom I +wished to see, and did not see her until the last week. When I saw some +of the first extracts from her book in a newspaper, I was confident that +they were parts of her story, and when I read the conclusion of the +work, I had not a doubt of it. Indeed, many things in the course of the +book I was prepared for from what she had told me. + +"When I saw her, I recognised her immediately, although she did not know +me at first, being in a very different dress. As soon as she was +informed where she had seen me, she recognised me. I have not found in +the book any thing inconsistent with what she had stated to me when I +first saw her. + +"When I first found her in May, 1835, she had evidently sought +concealment. She had a letter in her hand, which she refused to let me +see; and when she found I was determined to remove her, she tore it in +small pieces, and threw them down. Several days after I visited the spot +again and picked them up, to learn something of the contents but could +find nothing intelligible, except the first part of the Signature, +'Maria.' + +"Of the truth of her story I have not the slightest doubt, and I think I +never can until the Nunnery is opened and examined. + +"JOHN HILLIKER. + +"Sworn before me, this 14th of March, 1835. + +"PETER JENKINS, + +"Commissioner of Deeds." + +The following challenge was published in the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator +for six or seven weeks, in March and April, without a reply. + +"CHALLENGE--The Roman Prelate and Priests of Montreal--Messrs. Conroy, +Quarter, and Schneller, of New York--Messrs. Fenwick and Byrne of +Boston--Mr. Hughes of Philadelphia--the Arch-Prelate of Baltimore, and +his subordinate Priests--and Cardinal England of Charleston, with all +other Roman Priests, and every Nun from Baffin's bay to the Gulf of +Mexico, are hereby challenged to meet an investigation of the truth of +Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures,' before an impartial assembly, over +which shall preside _seven_ gentlemen; three to be selected by the +Roman Priests, three by the Executive Committee of the New York +Protestant Association, and the Seventh as Chairman, to be chosen by the +six. + +"An eligible place in New York shall be appointed and the regulations +for the decorum and order of the meetings, with all the other +arrangements, shall be made by the above gentlemen. + +"All communications upon this subject from any of the Roman Priests or +Nuns, either individually, or as delegates for their superiors, +addressed to the _Corresponding Secretary of the New York Protestant +Association_, No. 142 Nassau-street, New York, will be promptly +answered." + + * * * * * + +_From the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator of April 6, 1836._ + +"THE CHALLENGE.--We have been waiting with no small degree of impatience +to hear from some of the Roman priests. But neither they, nor their +sisters, the nuns, nor one of their nephews or _nieces_, have yet +ventured to come out. Our longings meet only with disappointment. Did +ever any person hear of similar conduct on the part of men accused of +the highest crimes, in their deepest dye? Here is a number of Roman +priests, as actors, or accessories, openly denounced before the world as +guilty, of the most outrageous sins against the sixth and seventh +commandments. They are charged before the world with adultery, +fornication, and murder! The allegations are distinctly made, the place +is mentioned, the parties are named, and the time is designated; for it +is lasting as the annual revolutions of the seasons. And what is most +extraordinary,--_the highest official authorities in Canada know that +all those statements are true, and they sanction and connive at the +iniquity!_--The priests and nuns have been offered, for several +months past, the most easy and certain mode to disprove the felonies +imputed to them, and they are still as the dungeons of the Inquisition, +silent as the death-like quietude of the convent cell; and as retired as +if they were in the subterraneous passages between the Nunnery and +Lartigue's habitation. Now, we contend, that scarcely a similar instance +of disregard for the opinions of mankind, can be found since the +Reformation, at least, in a Protestant country. Whatever disregard for +the judgment of others, the Romish priests may have felt, where the +Inquisition at their command, and the civil power was their Jackal and +their Hyena: they have been obliged to pay some little regard to the +opinion of protestants, and to the dread of exposure. We therefore +repeat the solemn indubitable truth--that the facts which are stated by +Maria Monk, respecting the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, are true as +the existence of the priests and nuns,--that the character, principles, +and practices of the Jesuits and Nuns in Canada are most accurately +delineated--that popish priests, and sisters of charity in the United +States, are their faithful and exact counterparts--that many female +schools in the United States, kept by the papist teachers, are nothing +more than places of decoy through which young women, at the most +delicate age, are ensnared into the power of the Roman priests--and that +the toleration of the monastic system in the United States and Britain, +the only two countries in the world, in which that unnatural abomination +is now extending its withering influence, is high treason against God +and mankind. If American citizens and British Christians, after the +appalling developments which have been made, permit the continuance of +that prodigious wickedness which is inseparable from nunneries and the +celibacy of popish priests, they will ere long experience that divine +castigation which is justly due to transgressors, who wilfully trample +upon all the appointments of God, and who subvert the foundation of +national concord, and extinguish the comforts of domestic society. +Listen to the challenge again! _All the papers with which the +Protestant Vindicator exchanges, are requested to give the challenge one +or two insertions_." (Here it was repeated.) + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of a friend in the hospital_ + +_Statement_ made by a respectable woman, who had the charge of me +during a part of my stay in the Bellevue Hospital, in New York. She is +ready to substantiate it. It is now first published. + +"I was employed as an occasional assistant in the Bellevue Hospital, in +New York, in the spring of the year 1835. My department was in the +Middle House and the pantry. I was present one day in the room of Mrs. +Johnston, the Matron, when a man came in with a young woman, and gave a +note to Mrs. J., (which I understood was from Col. Fish.) the +Superintendent, Mr. Stevens, being out. The female was dressed in a +light blue calico frock, a salmon-coloured shawl, and a black bonnet, +under which was a plain cap, something like a night-cap, which I +afterward understood was a nun's cap. Being occupied at that time, I +paid no attention to the conversation which took place between her and +the Matron; but I soon heard that she was a nun who had escaped from a +convent in Canada, who had been found in a destitute condition, by some +persons shooting in the fields, and that she was in such a situation as +to demand comforts and careful treatment. + +"She was placed in room No. 33, where most of the inmates were aged +American women; but as she appeared depressed and melancholy, the next +day Mr. Stevens brought her into No. 26, and put her under my particular +charge, as he said the women in that room were younger. They were, +however, almost all Roman Catholics as there are many in the institution +generally. + +"I told her she might confide in me, as I felt for her friendless and +unhappy situation; and finding her ignorant of the Bible, and entertaining +some superstitious views, I gave her one, and advised her to read the +scriptures, and judge for herself. We had very little opportunity to +converse in private; and although she several times said she wished she +could tell me something, no opportunity offered, as I was with her only +now and then, when I could step into the room for a few minutes. I +discouraged her from talking, because those around appeared to be +constantly listening, and some told her not to mind 'that heretic.' + +"Seeing her unhappy state of mind, it was several times proposed to her +to see Mr. Tappan; and, after a week or two, as I should judge, he +visited her, advised her to read the Bible, and judge for herself of her +duty. + +"One Sabbath I invited her to attend service, and we went to hear Mr. +Tappan preach; but after her return, some of the Irish women told her to +go no more, but mind her own religion. This produced an impression upon +her, for she seemed like a child of tender feeling, gentle, and disposed +to yield. She bound herself round my heart a good deal, she was of so +affectionate a turn. The rudeness with which she was treated by several +of the women, when they dared, would sometimes overcome her. A large and +rather old woman, named Welsh, one of the inmates, entered the room one +day, very abruptly, saying, 'I want to see this virtuous nun;' and +abused her with most shameful language, so that I had to return to her, +and complain of her to the Superintendent, who was shocked at such +impudence in a foreign pauper, so that she was put into another room. +Maria was washing her hands at the time Mrs. Welsh came in, and was so +much agitated, that she did not raise her head, and almost fainted, so +that I had to lift her upon a bed. + +"Before this occurrence, the women would often speak to Maria while I +was away and, as I had every reason to believe, endeavoured to persuade +her to go to the priests. I told them that they ought rather to protect +her, as she had come to the same country where they had sought +protection. + +"Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest, used to be regularly at the institution two +or three times a week, from about 10 till 1 o'clock, both before and +after Maria Monk became an inmate of it. No. 10 was his confession-room. +He baptised children in the square-ward, and sometimes visited the sick +Catholics in other rooms. Sometimes he went up in the afternoon also. + +"I heard it said, that Mr. Conroy had asked to speak with Maria: and +that an offer was made to him that he might see her before others, but +not otherwise, to which Mr. Conroy did not consent. + +"Sometimes Maria was much disturbed in her sleep, starting suddenly, +with every appearance of terror. Some nights she did not sleep at all, +and often told me, what I had no doubt was the fact, that she was too +much agitated by the recollection of what she had seen in the Nunnery. +She would sometimes say in the morning, 'O, if I could tell you! You +think you have had trouble, but I have had more than ever you did.' + +"Her distressing state of mind, with the trials caused by those around +her, kept me constantly thinking of Maria, so that when employed at a +distance from her, I would often run to her room, to see how she was for +a moment, and back again. Fortunately, the women around held me somewhat +in fear, because they found my reports of the interference of some were +attended to; and this kept them more at a distance; yet they would take +advantage of my absence sometimes. One day, on coming to No. 23. I found +Maria all in a tremour, and she told me that Mrs. ----, one of the +Roman Catholic nurses, had informed her that Mr. Conroy was in the +institution, and wished to see her. 'And what shall I do?' she inquired +of me, in great distress. + +"I told her not to be afraid, and that she should be protected, as she +was among friends, and endeavoured to quiet her fears all I could; but +it was very difficult to do so. One of the women in the house, I know, +told Maria, in my presence, one day, that Mr. Conroy was waiting in the +passage to see her. The present Superintendent (another Mr. Stevens) +succeeded the former while Maria and I were in the Hospital. Abby Welsh +(not the Mrs. Welsh mentioned before) got very angry with me one day, +because, as usual on the days when Mr. Conroy came, I was watchful to +prevent his having an interview with Maria. Another person, for a time, +used to employ her in sewing in her room on those days, for she also +protected her, as well in this way, as by reproving those who troubled +her. Abby Welsh, finding me closely watching Maria on the day I was +speaking of, told me, in a passion, that I might watch her as closely as +I pleased--Mr. Conroy _would have her_. Not long after this, I saw +Abby Welsh talking earnestly with Mr. Conroy, in the yard, under one of +the windows of the Middle House, and heard her say, 'the nun,' and +afterward, 'she's hid.' + +"A Roman Catholic woman, who supposed that Maria had been seen in St. +Mary's Church, expressed a wish that she could have caught her there; +and said, she would never again have made her appearance. I inquired +whether there was any place where she could have been confined. She +replied, in a reserved, but significant manner, 'There is at least one +cell there for her.' + +"New York, March 23d, 1836." + +It would be a natural question, if my readers should ask, "What said the +Roman Catholics to such testimonials? They laid great stress on +affidavits sent for to Montreal; what do they think of affidavits +spontaneously given in New York?" + +So far as I know, they have republished but one, and that is Mr. +Miller's! + +The New York Catholic Diary of March 19th, said-- + +"We take the following _overwhelming_ testimony from the +_Brooklyn American Citizen_ of the 11th instant: + +"The following affidavits, &c., are copied from the last No. of the +'Protestant Vindicator,' and prove, it seems to us, taken with other +corroborating circumstances, the falsehood and irrelevancy of the +testimony against Miss Monk, and therefore establish the truth of her +narrative:" + +(Here it inserted Mr. Miller's affidavit, and then added:) + +"What is the weight of the affidavit? Of ponderous import? I inquired +where Maria was, and she told me she was in the Nunnery? Therefore she +is an eloped Nun. Marvellous logical affidavit! We may say, that when an +inquiry is made after the editor of this paper, and the answer is, that +he was in Protestant Church, therefore he is a Protestant minister." + +The Rev. Mr. Schneller, (for a Catholic priest is the editor of that +paper,) thus tries to slide over the important testimony of Mr. Miller, +and in doing it, admits that I was in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in the +summer of 1832. Of course, _he admits then, that Dr. Robertson's +testimony to the contrary it false, and gives up the great point which +the Montreal affidavits were intended to settle,_ viz. that I had not +been in any Nunnery--at least, not since I was a child. + +But another thing is worthy of remark. The Diary says, "We take the +following overwhelming testimony from the Brooklyn American Citizen," +yet he really leaves out the greater part of the testimony which that +paper contained, viz. the certificate beginning on page 251. Let any one +turn to that, and ask whether the editor had not some reason to wish to +keep it from his readers? Did he not get rid of it very ingeniously, +when he inserted the following remarks instead of it? + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +"Excellent! 'delicacy to a lady's feelings!!' we are absorbed in an +exclamation of wonder; the _delicate_ name, in a matter of such +vast importance, as that which affects the _truth_ of the +slanderous tale, cannot be mentioned! + +"Therefore, 'we, the subscribers,' 'Brownlee, Slocum, Brace, Fanshaw, +Belden, Wesson, and Hogan,' rest the weight of their authority upon the +'delicacy' of a nameless 'lady's feelings.'" + +Now here Mr. Shellner pretends that the witness was not accessible, and +leaves it in doubt, whether the subscribers, (men of known character and +unimpeachable veracity.) knew any thing of her. Yet it was expressly +stated by them that she was known, and that any reasonable inquiries +would be readily answered. (See p. 249.) + +I have no intention of attempting to enforce the evidence presented in +the testimonials just given. I shall leave every reader to form his own +conclusions independently and dispassionately. I could easily say things +likely to excite the feelings of every one who peruses these pages--but +I prefer to persist in the course I have thus far pursued, and abstain +from all exciting expressions. The things I declare are sober realities, +and nothing is necessary to have them so received, but that the evidence +be calmly laid before the public. + +I will make one or two suggestions here, for the purpose of directing +attention to points of importance, though one or two of them have been +already touched upon. + +1st. One of the six affidavits was given by Dr. Robertson, and the +remaining five were sworn to before him. + +2d. The witnesses speak of interviews with me, on two of the most +distressing days of my life. Now let the reader refer to those +affidavits and then say, whether any expressions which they may have +misunderstood, or any which may have been fabricated for me, (as I +strongly suspect must have been the fact with some,) ought to destroy my +character for credibility; especially when I appeal to evidence so +incontestible as an inspection of the nunnery, and my opponents shrink +from it. Let the reader observe also, that in the interviews spoken of +in the affidavits, no third person is commonly spoken of as present; +while those who are named are most of them inimical to me. + +3d. All the testimony in the affidavits is aimed to destroy my +character, and to prevent me from receiving any credit as a witness. Not +a bit of it meets the charges I make against the priests and nuns. If +they had proved that I never was in the nunnery, that, indeed would set +aside my testimony: but failing to do [illegible], the attempt goes +far to set their own aside. + +Having now fairly shown my readers what reception my first edition met +with, both from enemies and friends, I proceed to the "Sequel" of my +narrative. + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + +This file should be named 7adis10.txt or 7adis10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 7adis11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 7adis10a.txt + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Awful Disclosures + Containing, Also, Many Incidents Never before Published + +Author: Maria Monk + +Release Date: May, 2005 [EBook #8095] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 14, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-Latin-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + + + + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + +[Note from the etext editor: The original page scans used to create this +text were illegible in places; the notation [illegible] has been used in +the text to indicate these places. Additionally, Chapter XIV was missing +from both the table of contents and the book; presumably this is a +printing error as opposed to an actual missing chapter.] + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES, + +By + +MARIA MONK, + +Of the + +HOTEL DIEU NUNNERY OF MONTREAL. + +Containing, also, Many Incidents Never Before Published. + + + + +PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +This volume embraces not only my "Awful Disclosures," but a continuation +of my Narrative, giving an account of events after my escape from the +Nunnery, and of my return to Montreal to procure a legal investigation +of my charges. It also [illegible] all the testimony that has been +published against me, or every description, as well as that which has +been given in confirmation of my story. At the close, will be found a +Review of the whole Subject, furnished by a gentleman well qualified for +the purpose; and finally, a copious Appendix, giving further particulars +interesting to the public. + +I present this volume to the reader, with feelings which, I trust, will +be in some degree appreciated when it has been read and reflected upon. +A hasty perusal, and an imperfect apprehension of its contents, can +never produce such impressions as it has been my design to make by the +statements I have laid before the world. I know that misapprehensions +exist in the minds of some virtuous people. I am not disposed to condemn +their motives, for it does not seem wonderful that in a pure state of +society, and in the midst of Christian families, there should be persons +who regard the crimes I have mentioned as too monstrous to believed. It +certainly is creditable to American manners and character, that the +people are inclined, at the first sight, to turn from my story with +horror. + +There is also an excuse for those who, having received only a general +impression concerning the nature of my Disclosures, question the +propriety of publishing such immorality to the world. They fear that the +minds of the young, at least, may be polluted. To such I have to say, +that this objection was examined and set aside, long before they had an +opportunity to make it. I solemnly believe it is necessary to inform +parents, at least, that the ruin from which I have barely escaped, lies +in the way of their children, even if delicacy must be in some degree +wounded by revealing the fact. I understand the case, alas! from too +bitter experience. Many an innocent girl may this year be exposed to the +dangers of which I was ignorant. I am resolved, that so far as depends +on me, not one more victim shall fall into the hands of those enemies in +whose power I so lately have been. I know what it is to be under the +dominion of Nuns and Priests; and I maintain, that it is a far greater +offence against virtue and decency to conceal than to proclaim their +crimes. Ah! had a single warning voice even whispered to me a word of +caution--had even a gentle note of alarm been sounded to me, it might +have turned back my foot from the Convent when it was upon the +threshold! If, therefore, there is any one now bending a step that way, +whom I have, not yet alarmed, I will cry _beware!_ + +But the virtuous reader need not fear, in the following pages, to meet +with vice presented in any dress but her own deformity. No one can +accuse me of giving a single attraction to crime. On the contrary, I +intend my book shall be a warning to those who may hereafter be tempted +by vice; and with the confidence that such it will prove to be, I +commend it to the careful examination of virtuous parents, and am +willing to abide by their unbiased opinion, with regard both to my +truth, my motives, and the interest which the public have in the +developments it contains. + +I would now appeal to the world, and ask, whether I have not done all +that could have been expected of me, and all that lay in my power, to +bring to an investigation the charges I have brought against the priests +and nuns of Canada. Although it was necessary to the cause of truth, +that I should, in some degree, implicate myself, I have not hesitated to +appear as a voluntary self-accuser before the world. While there was a +hope that the authorities in Canada might be prevailed upon to bring the +subject to a legal investigation, I travelled to Montreal in a feeble +state of health, and with an infant in my arms only three weeks old. In +the face of many threats and dangers, I spent nearly a month in that +city, in vain attempts to bring my cause to a trial. When all prospect +of success in this undertaking had disappeared, and not till then, I +determined to make my accusations through the press; and although +misrepresentations and scandals, flattery and threats, have been +resorted to, to nullify or to suppress my testimony, I have persevered, +although, as many of my friends have thought, at the risk of abduction +or death. + +I have, I think, afforded every opportunity that could be reasonably +expected, to judge of my credibility. I have appealed to the existence +of things in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, as the great criterion of the truth +of my story. I have described the apartments, and now, in this volume, +have added many further particulars, with such a description of them as +my memory has enabled me to make. I have offered, in case I should be +proved an impostor, to submit to any punishment which may be proposed-- +even to a re-delivery into the hands of my bitterest enemies, to suffer +what they may please to inflict. + +Now, in these circumstances, I would ask the people of the United +States, whether my duty has not been discharged? Have I not done what I +ought--to inform and to alarm them? I would also solemnly appeal to the +Government of Great Britain, under whose guardianship is the province +oppressed by the gloomy institution from which I have escaped, and ask +whether such atrocities ought to be tolerated, and even protected by an +enlightened and Christian power? I trust the hour is near, when the dens +of the Hotel Dieu will be laid open--when the tyrants who have polluted +it will be brought out, with the wretched victims of their oppression +and crimes. + + + +CONTENTS + + * * * * * + +CHAPTER I. + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First School--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the Nunneries +in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black Nunnery--The Grey +Nunnery--Public Respect for these Institutions--Instruction Received-- +The Catechism--The Bible + +CHAPTER II. + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery + +CHAPTER III. + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black Nunnery--Entrance-- +Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which they had Access-- +First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the Superior--Her Reliques +--The Holy Good Shepherd, or nameless Nun--Confession of Novices + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. Denis--Reliques-- +Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made by some Novices-- +Ideas of the Bible + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosures--Resolution to Submit + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st Floor--2d +Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of Novices-- +Religious Lies--Criminality of concealing Sins at Confession + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the Cellar-- +Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's Instructions-- +Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the Nunnery--Opinions +expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of the Scriptures + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the Convent-- +Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her House--The +Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane Ray-- +Vaccillation of feelings + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports made +to friends of St. Francis + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in it-- +Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted +Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of her Tricks--Feigned Humility-- +Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made by stratagem + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives--Jane Ray's +Hymns--The Superior's best Trick + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy Retreat-- +Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract Conscience--Ingenious +Arguments + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in Sleep--Amusements +--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased Nuns--Sudden +disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new one-- +Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with other +Nuns + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupations in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of War Candles--The Election Riots-- +Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders in +the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for it--Plan--Deliberation-- +Attempt--Success + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the night-- +Disappointment--My first day out of the Convent--Solitude-- +Recollections, fears, and plans + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to land +--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before day-- +Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a vagrant-- +Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it to Mrs. +McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New York-- +Arrangements for going + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal boat-- +Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to rain-- +Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the Bellevue +Almshouse. + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the priests-- +Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, Burlington, St. +Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at Montreal--Reflections +on passing the Nunnery. + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his church-- +Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit taken--Legal +objection to it when taken + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections The truth of the +work demonstrated + +APPENDIX--Reception of the work--Affidavits--Criticisms of the press, +&c. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +Here is the reprint of one of the most formidable books against +Nunneries ever published. It has produced powerful impressions abroad, +as well as in the United States, and appears destined to have still +greater results. It is the simple narrative of an uneducated and +unprotected female, who escaped from the old Black Nunnery of Montreal, +or Hotel Dieu, and told her tale of sufferings and horrors, without +exaggeration or embellishment. Though assailed by all the powers of the +Romish priesthood, whom she accused, and by the united influence of the +North American press, which, with very small exceptions, was then +unenlightened by the discoveries of the present day, the book remains +unimpeached, and still challenges the test of fair and open examination. + +Many an American female, no doubt, is now living, who might justly +acknowledge that she was saved from exposure to the suffering, or even +the ruin, often the consequences of a Convent education, by the +disinterested warning given in this book; while its author, disheartened +at length by the powerful combination of Protestants and Papists against +her, led to distrust even the few who remained her friends, destitute of +the means of living, and alternately persecuted and tempted by her ever +watchful and insidious enemies, died some years since, under +condemnation (whether just or unjust) for one of the slightest of the +crimes which she had charged against them--thus falling at last their +victim. + +American parents have here a book written for the salvation of their +daughters; American patriots, one designed to secure society against one +of the most destructive but insidious institutions of popery; American +females, an appeal to them of the most solemn kind, to beware of +Convents, and all who attempt to inveigle our unsuspecting daughters +into them, by the secret apparatus of Jesuit schools. The author of this +book was a small, slender, uneducated, and persecuted young woman, who +sought refuge in our country without a protector; but she showed the +resolution and boldness of a heroine, in confronting her powerful +enemies in their strong hold, and proved, by the simple force of truth, +victorious in the violent conflicts which were waged against her by the +Romish hierarchy of America and the popular press of the United States. + +The publishers have thought the present an opportune period to place +this work again in the hands of American readers, with such information, +in a preface, as is necessary to acquaint readers of the present day +with the leading circumstances attending and succeeding its original +publication. They have examined most of the evidence supporting the +truth of the narrative, of which the public can judge as well as +themselves. The details would be voluminous, even of those portions +which have been collected since the heat of the controversy which the +book long ago excited. Suffice it to say, that undesigned and collateral +evidence in corroboration of it has been increasing to the present day; +and that the following brief review of some of the early events will +afford a fair specimen of the whole. + +In the year 1835, Maria Monk was found alone, and in a wretched and +feeble condition, on the outskirts of New York city, by a humane man, +who got her admitted into the hospital at Bellevue. She then first told +the story in outline, which she afterwards and uniformly repeated in +detail, and which was carefully written down and published in the +following form:--she said she was a fugitive nun from the Hotel Dieu of +Montreal, whence she had effected her escape, in consequence of cruelty +which she had suffered, and crimes which were there committed by the +Romish priests, who had the control of the institution, and to which +they had access, by private as well as public entrances. Having +expressed a willingness to go to that city, make public accusations, and +point out evidences of their truth in the convent itself, she was taken +thither by a resolute man, who afterwards suffered for an act of great +merit; but she was unable to obtain a fair hearing, apparently through +the secret opposition of the priests. She returned to New York, where +her story was thought worthy of publication; and it was proposed to have +it carefully written down from her lips, and published in a small +pamphlet. Everything she communicated was, therefore, accurately written +down, and, when copied out, read to her for correction. But the amount +of important material in her possession, proved to be far greater than +had been supposed, and many pages of notes were accumulated on numerous +topics brought up to her attention in the course of conversation and +inquiry. All those were submitted to persons fully competent to decide +as to the reliability of the evidence, and the strictest and most +conscientious care was taken to ascertain the truth. + +There were but very few Protestants in the United States acquainted with +the condition or history of convents in different countries, the +characters of those who control and direct them, the motives they have +for keeping them secret, the occupations often pursued within their +walls, in short, the shameful practices and atrocious crimes of which +they have been proved to be the theatres, in modern and ancient times, +by Romish ecclesiastics and even popes themselves. The public were, +therefore, quite unprepared to believe such accusations against men +professing sanctity of life, and a divine commission to the world, +although Miss Harrison and Miss Reed of Boston had published startling +reports respecting the character of the priests and nuns in that +vicinity. + +The following were some of the considerations which were kept in view by +those who proposed the publication of the narrative:-- + +"If the story is false, it must have been forged by the narrator or some +other party. There must have been a motive in either case; and that may +be either to obtain notoriety or money, to injure the reputation of the +priests accused, or ultimately to remove the unfavorable impressions +thrown upon them by their former accusers, by first making charges of +atrocious crimes, and then disproving them. On the other hand, the story +may perhaps be true; and if so, the world ought to know it. In the +meantime, here is an unprotected, and evidently unfortunate young woman, +of an interesting appearance, who asks to be allowed to make her +complaint, voluntarily consenting to submit to punishment if she does +not speak the truth. _She must be allowed a hearing._" + +It is but justice to say that the investigation was undertaken with +strong suspicions of imposture somewhere, and with a fixed resolution to +expose it if discovered. As the investigation proceeded, opinions at +first fluctuated, sometimes from day to day; but it became evident, ere +long, that if the story had been fabricated, it was not the work of the +narrator, as she had not the capacity to invent one so complex and +consistent with itself and with many historical facts entirely beyond +the limited scope of her knowledge. It was also soon perceived that she +could never have been taught it by others, as no part of it was +systematically arranged in her mind, and she communicated it in the +incidental manner common to uneducated persons, who recount past scenes +in successive conversations. + +As she declared from the first that she had been trained to habits of +deception in the Convent, and accustomed to witness deceit and +criminality, no confidence could be claimed for her mere unsupported +declarations; and therefore a course of thorough cross-questioning was +pursued, every effort being made to lead her to contradict herself, but +without success. She told the same things over and over again in a +natural and consistent manner, when brought back to the same point after +intervals of weeks or months. In several instances it was thought that +contradictions had been traced, but when called on to reconcile her +statements, she cleared up all doubt by easy and satisfactory +explanations. The course pursued by the priests of Canada and their +advocates, was such as greatly to confirm the opinion that she spoke the +truth, and that they were exceedingly afraid of it. The following were +some of the contradictory grounds which they at different times assumed +in their bitter attacks upon her, her friends, and her books: + +That she had never been in the nunnery. + +That she had been expelled from it. + +That she had fabricated everything that she published. + +That several pages from her book, published in the New York "Sun," were +copied verbatim et literatim from a work published in Portugal above a +hundred years before, entitled "The Gates of Hell Opened." + +That there never was a subterranean passage from the seminary to the +nunnery. + +That there was such a passage in that direction, but that it led to the +River St. Lawrence. + +That the drawings and descriptions of the nunnery, and especially of the +veiled department, were wholly unlike the reality, but applied to the +Magdalen Asylum of Montreal. + +That several objects described by her were in the nunnery, but not in +those parts of it where she had placed them. (This was said by a person +who admitted that he had been lost amidst the numerous and extensive +apartments when he made his observations.) + +That the book was fabricated by certain persons in New York who were +named, they being gentlemen of the highest character. + +That the book was her own production, but written under the instigation +of the devil. + +That the author was a layman, and ought to be hung on the first lamp- +post. + +That the nunnery was a sacred place, and ought not to be profaned by the +admission of enemies of the church. + +After a committee had been appointed to examine the nunnery and report, +and their demand for admission had been published a year or more, the +editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, a Montreal newspaper, devoted to the +priests' cause, offered to admit persons informally, and did admit +several Americans, who had been strong partisans against the +"Disclosures." Their letters on the subject, though very indefinite, +contained several important, though undesigned admissions, strongly +corroborating the book. + +One of the most common charges against the book was, that it had been +written merely for the purpose of obtaining money. Of the falseness of +this there is decisive evidence. It was intended to secure to the poor +and persecuted young female, any profits which might arise from the +publication; but most of the labor and time devoted to the work were +gratuitously bestowed. Besides this they devoted much time to efforts +necessary to guard against the numerous and insidious attempts made by +friends of the priests, who by various arts endeavored to produce +dissention and delay, as well as to pervert public opinion. + +The book was published, and had an almost unprecedented sale, impressing +deep convictions, wherever it went, by its simple and consistent +statements. In Canada, especially, it was extensively received as true; +but as the American newspapers were soon enlisted against it, the +country was filled with misrepresentations, which it was impossible +through those channels to follow with refutations. Her noble sacrifices +for the good of others were misunderstood, she withdrew from her few +remaining friends, and at length died in poverty and prison, a victim of +the priests of Rome. Various evidences in favor of its truth afterwards +appeared, with which the public have never been generally made +acquainted. Some of these were afforded during an interview held in New +York, August 17th, 1836, with Messrs. Jones and Le Clerc, who had came +from Montreal with a work in reply to "Awful Disclosures," which was +afterwards published. They had offered to confront Maria Monk, and prove +her an impostor, and make her confess it in the presence of her friends. +She promptly appeared; and the first exclamation of Mr. Jones proved +that she was not the person he had supposed her to be: _"This is not +Fawny Johnson!"_ said he; and he afterwards said, "There must be two +Maria Monks!" Indeed, several persons were at different times +represented to bear that name; and much confusion was caused in the +testimony by that artifice. The interview continued about two hours, +during which the Canadians made a very sorry figure, entirely failing to +gain any advantage, and exposing their own weakness. At the close, an +Episcopal clergyman from Canada, one of the company, said: "Miss Monk, +if I had had any doubts of your truth before this interview, they would +now have been entirely removed." + +The book of Mr. Jones was published, and consisted of affidavits, &c., +obtained in Canada, including those which had previously been published, +and which are contained in the Appendix to this volume. Many of them +were signed by names unknown, or those of low persons of no credit, or +devoted to the service of the priests. Evidence was afterwards obtained +that Mr. Jones was paid by the Canadian ecclesiastics, of which there +had been strong indications. What rendered his defeat highly important +was, that he was the editor of _L'Ami du Peuple_, the priests' +newspaper, in Montreal, and he was "the author of everything which had +been written there against Maria Monk," and had collected all "the +affidavits and testimony." These were his own declarations. An accurate +report of the interview was published, and had its proper effect, +especially his exclamation--"This is not Fanny Johnson!" + +The exciting controversy has long passed, but the authentic records of +it are imperishable, and will ever be regarded as an instructive study. +The corruptions and crimes of nunneries, and the hypocrisy and chicanery +of those who control them, with the varied and powerful means at their +command, are there displayed to an attentive reader, in colors as dark +and appalling as other features of the popish system are among us, by +the recent exposures of the impudent arrogance of the murderer Bedini, +and the ambitious and miserly spirit of his particular friend, the +Romish Archbishop of New York. + +Among the recent corroborates of the "Awful Disclosures," may be +particularly mentioned the two narratives entitled "Coralla," and +"Confessions of a Sister of Charity," contained in the work issued this +season by the publishers of the present volume, viz.: "_The Escaped +Nun_; or, Disclosures of Convent Life," &c. Of the authenticity of +those two narratives we can give the public the strongest assurance. + +After the city of Rome had been taken by siege by the French army, in +1849, the priests claimed possession of a female orphan-asylum, which +had something of the nature of a nunnery. The republican government had +given liberty to all recluses, and opened all _secret institutions_. +(When will Americans do the same?) + +Subsequently, when the papists attempted to reinstate the old system, +the females remonstrated, barred the doors, and armed themselves with +knives and spits from the kitchen, but the French soldiers succeeded in +reducing them by force. During the contest the cry of the women was, "We +will not be the _wives_ of the priests!" + +In one of the convents in that city, opened by the republicans, were +found evidences of some of the worst crimes mentioned by Maria Monk; and +in another were multitudes of bones, including those of children. + +A strong effort will probably be made again, by the parties exposed by +this book, to avoid the condemnation which it throws upon convents--the +strongholds of superstition, corruption, and _foreign influence_, +in the United States. The Romish publications, although greatly reduced +in number within a few years, will probably pour out much of their +unexhausted virulence, as it is their vocation to misrepresent, deny, +and vilify. They will be ready to pronounce a general anathema on all +who dare to reprint, or even to read or believe, such strong accusations +against the "holy retreats" of those whom they pretend are "devoted to +lives of piety." But we will challenge them to do it again, by placing +some of their iron bishops and even popes in the forefront. + +In the year 1489, in the reign of Henry VII, Pope Innocent VIII +published a bull for the Reformation of Monasteries, entitled, in Latin, +"_De Reformatione Monasceriorum_," in which he says that, "members +of monasteries and other religious places, both Clemian, Cistercian, and +Praemonstratensian, and various other orders in the Kingdom of England" +--"lead a lascivious and truly dissolute life." And that the papist +reader may receive this declaration with due reverence, we copy the +preceding words in Latin, as written by an infallible pope, the man +whose worshippers address him as "Vicegerent of God on earth." Of course +his words must convince them, if ours do not: "Vitam lascivam ducunt, et +nimium dissolutam." "Swine Priory," in 1303, had a Prioress named +Josiana, whose conduct made the name of her house quite appropriate. In +France, in the Council of Troyes, A. D. 999, the Archbishop said, "In +convents of monks, canons, and nuns, we have lay abbots residing with +their wives, sons, daughters, soldiers and dogs;" and he charges the +whole clergy with being in a deprived and sinful state. But the +particulars now before us, of such shameful things in Germany, Italy, +&c., for ages, would fill a larger volume than this. + +Now, let the defenders of nunneries repeat, if they dare, their +hackneyed denunciations of those who deny their sanctity. Here stand +some of their own bishops and popes before us; and the anathemas must +fall first upon mitres and tiaras! Americans will know how much +confidence to place in the pretended purity of institutions, whose +iniquity and shame have been thus proclaimed, age after age, in a far +more extensive manner than by this book. But we can at any time shut +their mouths by the mere mention of "_Den's Theology_," which they +must not provoke us to refer to. + + + +AWFUL DISCLOSURES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS. + + +Early Life--Religious Education neglected--First Schools--Entrance into +the School of the Congregational Nunnery--Brief Account of the Nunneries +in Montreal--The Congregational Nunnery--The Black Nunnery--The Grey +Nunnery--Public Respect for these Institutions--Instruction Received-- +The Catechism--The Bible. + +My parents were both from Scotland, but had been resident in Lower +Canada some time before their marriage, which took place in Montreal; +and in that city I spent most of my life. I was born at St. John's, +where they lived for a short time. My father was an officer under the +British Government, and my mother has enjoyed a pension on that account +ever since his death. [Footnote: See the affidavit of William Miller, in +the Appendix.] + +According to my earliest recollections, he was attentive to his family; +and a particular passage from the Bible, which often occurred to my mind +in after life, I may very probably have been taught by him, as after his +death I do not recollect to have received any religious instruction at +home; and was not even brought up to read the scriptures: my mother, +although nominally a Protestant, not being accustomed to pay attention +to her children in this respect. She was rather inclined to think well +of the Catholics, and often attended their churches. To my want of +religious instruction at home, and the ignorance of my Creator, and my +duty, which was its natural effect. I think I can trace my introduction +to Convents, and the scenes which I am to describe in this narrative. + +When about six or seven years of age, I went to school to a Mr. Workman, +a Protestant, who taught in Sacrament street, and remained several +months. There I learned to read and write, and arithmetic as far as +division. All the progress I ever made in those branches was gained in +that school, as I have never improved in any of them since. + +A number of girls of my acquaintance went to school to the nuns of the +Congregational Nunnery, or Sisters of Charity, as they are sometimes +called. The schools taught by them are perhaps more numerous than some +of my readers may imagine. Nuns are sent out from that Convent to many +of the towns and villages of Canada to teach small schools; and some of +them are established as instructresses in different parts of the United +States. When I was about ten years old, my mother asked me one day if I +should not like to learn to read and write French; and I then began to +think seriously of attending the school in the Congregational Nunnery. I +had already some acquaintance with that language, sufficient to speak it +a little, as I heard it every day, and my mother knew something of it. + +I have a distinct recollection of my first entrance into the Nunnery; +and the day was an important one in my life, as on it commenced my +acquaintance with a Convent. I was conducted by some of my young friends +along Notre Dame street till we reached the gate. Entering that, we +walked some distance along the side of a building towards the chapel, +until we reached a door, stopped, and rung a bell. This was soon opened, +and entering, we proceeded through a long covered passage till we took a +short turn to the left, soon after which we reached the door of the +school-room. On my entrance, the Superior met me, and told me first of +all that I must always dip my fingers into the holy water at her door, +cross myself, and say a short prayer; and this she told me was always +required of Protestant as well as Catholic children. + +There were about fifty girls in the school, and the nuns professed to +teach something of reading, writing, arithmetic, and geography. The +methods, however, were very imperfect, and little attention was devoted +to them, the time being in a great degree engrossed with lessons in +needle-work, which was performed with much skill. The nuns had no very +regular parts assigned them in the management of the schools. They were +rather rough and unpolished in their manners, often exclaiming, "c'est +un menti" (that's a lie), and "mon Dieu" (my God), on the most trivial +occasions. Their writing was quite poor, and it was not uncommon for +them to put a capital letter in the middle of a word. The only book on +geography which we studied, was a catechism of geography, from which we +learnt by heart a few questions and answers. We were sometimes referred +to a map, but it was only to point out Montreal or Quebec, or some other +prominent name, while we had no instruction beyond. + +It may be necessary for the information of some of my readers, to +mention that there are three distinct Convents in Montreal, all of +different kinds; that is, founded on different plans, and governed by +different rules. Their names are as follows:-- + +1st. The Congregational Nunnery. + +2d. The Black Nunnery, or Convent of Sister Bourgeoise. + +3d The Grey Nunnery. + +The first of these professes to be devoted entirely to the education of +girls. It would require however only a proper examination to prove that, +with the exception of needle-work, hardly anything is taught excepting +prayers and the catechism; the instruction in reading, writing, &c., in +fact, amounting to very little, and often to nothing. This Convent is +adjacent to that next to be spoken of, being separated from it only by a +wall. The second professes to be a charitable institution for the care +of the sick, and the supply of bread and medicines for the poor; and +something is done in these departments of charity, although but an +insignificant amount, compared with the size of the buildings, and the +number of the inmates. + +The Grey Nunnery, which is situated in a distant part of the city, is +also a large edifice, containing departments for the care of insane +persons and foundlings. With this, however, I have less personal +acquaintance than with either of the others. I have often seen two of +the Grey nuns, and know that their rules, as well as those of the +Congregational Nunnery, do not confine them always within their walls, +like those of the Black Nunnery. These two Convents have their common +names (Black and Grey) from the colours of the dresses worn by their +inmates. + +In all these three Convents, there are certain apartments into which +strangers can gain admittance, but others from which they are always +excluded. In all, large quantities of various ornaments are made by the +nuns, which are exposed for sale in the _Ornament_ Rooms, and +afford large pecuniary receipts every year, which contribute much to +their incomes. In these rooms visitors often purchase such things as +please them from some of the old [Footnote: The term "old nun," does not +always indicate superior age.] and confidential nuns who have the charge +of them. + +From all that appears to the public eye, the nuns of these Convents are +devoted to the charitable objects appropriate to each, the labour of +making different articles, known to be manufactured by them, and the +religious observances, which occupy a large portion of their time. They +are regarded with much respect by the people at large; and now and then +when a novice takes the veil, she is supposed to retire from the +temptations and troubles of this world into a state of holy seclusion, +where, by prayer, self-mortification, and good deeds, she prepares +herself for heaven. Sometimes the Superior of a Convent obtains the +character of working miracles; and when such a one dies, it is published +through the country, and crowds throng the Convent, who think +indulgences are to be derived from bits of her clothes or other things +she has possessed; and many have sent articles to be touched to her bed +or chair, in which a degree of virtue is thought to remain. I used to +participate in such ideas and feelings, and began by degrees to look +upon a nun as the happiest of women, and a Convent as the most peaceful, +holy, and delightful place of abode. It is true, some pains were taken +to impress such views upon me. Some of the priests of the Seminary often +visited the Congregation Nunnery, and both catechised and talked with us +on religion. The Superior of the Black Nunnery adjoining, also, +occasionally came into the School, enlarged on the advantages we enjoyed +in having such teachers, and dropped something now and then relating to +her own Convent, calculated to make us entertain the highest ideas of +it, and to make us sometimes think of the possibility of getting into +it. + +Among the instructions given us by the priests, some of the most pointed +were those directed against the Protestant Bible. They often enlarged +upon the evil tendency of that book, and told us that but for it many a +soul now condemned to hell, and suffering eternal punishment, might have +been in happiness. They could not say any thing in its favour: for that +would be speaking against religion and against God. They warned us +against it, and represented it as a thing very dangerous to our souls. +In confirmation of this, they would repeat some of the answers taught us +at catechism, a few of which I will here give. We had little catechisms +("Le Petit Catechism") put into our hands to study; but the priests soon +began to teach us a new set of answers, which were not to be found in +our books, and from some of which I received new ideas, and got, as I +thought, important light on religious subjects, which confirmed me more +and more in my belief in the Roman Catholic doctrines. These questions +and answers I can still recall with tolerable accuracy, and some of them +I will add here. I never have read them, as we were taught them only by +word of mouth. + +_Question_. "Pourquoi le bon Dieu n'a pas fait tous les +commandemens?" + +_Réponse_. "Parce que l'homme n'est pas si fort qu'il peut garder +tous ses commandemens." + +_Q_. "Why did not God make all the commandments?" + +_A_. "Because man is not strong enough to keep them." + +And another. _Q_. "Pourquoi l'homme ne lit pas l'Evangile?" + +_R_. "Parce que l'esprit de l'homme est trop borné et trop faîble +pour comprendre qu'est ce que Dieu a écrit." + +_Q_. "Why are men not to read the New Testament?" + +_A_. "Because the mind of man is too limited and weak to understand +what God has written." + +These questions and answers are not to be found in the common catechisms +in use in Montreal and other places where I have been, but all the +children in the Congregational Nunnery were taught them, and many more +not found in these books. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CONGREGATIONAL NUNNERY. + + +Story told by a fellow Pupil against a Priest--Other Stories--Pretty +Mary--Confess to Father Richards--My subsequent Confessions--Left the +Congregational Nunnery. + +There was a girl thirteen years old whom I knew in the School, who +resided in the neighborhood of my mother, and with whom I had been +familiar. She told me one day at school of the conduct of a priest with +her at confession, at which I was astonished. It was of so criminal and +shameful a nature, I could hardly believe it, and yet I had so much +confidence that she spoke the truth, that I could not discredit it. + +She was partly persuaded by the priest to believe that he could not sin, +because he was a priest, and that anything he did to her would sanctify +her; and yet she seemed doubtful how she should act. A priest, she had +been told by him, is a holy man, and appointed to a holy office, and +therefore what would be wicked in other men, could not be so in him. She +told me that she had informed her mother of it, who expressed no anger +nor disapprobation, but only enjoined it upon her not to speak of it; +and remarked to her, that as priests were not like other men, but holy, +and sent to instruct and save us, whatever they did was right. + +I afterward confessed to the priest that I had heard the story, and had +a penance to perform for indulging a sinful curiosity in making +inquiries; and the girl had another for communicating it. I afterward +learned that other children had been treated in the same manner, and +also of similar proceedings in other places. + +Indeed, it was not long before such language was used to me, and I well +remember how my views of right and wrong were shaken by it. Another girl +at the School, from a place above Montreal, called the Lac, told me the +following story of what had occurred recently in that vicinity. A young +squaw, called la Belle Marie,(pretty Mary,) had been seen going to +confession at the house of the priest, who lived a little out of the +village. La Belle Marie was afterwards missed, and her murdered body was +found in the river. A knife was also found covered with blood, bearing +the priest's name. Great indignation was excited among the Indians, and +the priest immediately absconded, and was never heard from again. A note +was found on his table addressed to him, telling him to fly if he was +guilty. + +It was supposed that the priest was fearful that his conduct might be +betrayed by this young female; and he undertook to clear himself by +killing her. + +These stories struck me with surprise at first, but I gradually began to +feel differently, even supposing them true, and to look upon the priests +as men incapable of sin; besides, when I first went to confession, which +I did to Father Richards, in the old French church (since taken down), I +heard nothing improper; and it was not until I had been several times, +that the priests became more and more bold, and were at length indecent +in their questions and even in their conduct when I confessed to them in +the Sacristie. This subject I believe is not understood nor suspected +among Protestants; and it is not my intention to speak of it very +particularly, because it is impossible to do so without saying things +both shameful and demoralizing. + +I will only say here, that when quite a child, I had from the mouths of +the priests at confession what I cannot repeat, with treatment +corresponding; and several females in Canada have recently assured me, +that they have repeatedly, and indeed regularly, been required to answer +the same and other like questions, many of which present to the mind +deeds which the most iniquitous and corrupt heart could hardly invent. + +There was a frequent change of teachers in the School of the Nunnery; +and no regular system was pursued in our instruction. There were many +nuns who came and went while I was there, being frequently called in and +out without any perceptible reason. They supply school teachers to many +of the country towns, usually two for each of the towns with which I was +acquainted, besides sending Sisters of Charity to different parts of the +United States. Among those whom I saw most, was Saint Patrick, an old +woman for a nun (that is, about forty), very ignorant, and gross in her +manners, with quite a beard on her face, and very cross and +disagreeable. She was sometimes our teacher in sewing, and was appointed +to keep order among us. We were allowed to enter only a few of the rooms +in the Congregational Nunnery, although it was not considered one of the +secluded Convents. + +In the Black Nunnery, which is very near the Congregational, is an +hospital for sick people from the city; and sometimes some of our +boarders, such as are indisposed, were sent there to be cured. I was +once taken ill myself and sent there, where I remained a few days. + +There were beds enough for a considerable number more. A physician +attended it daily; and there are a number of the veiled nuns of that +Convent who spend most of their time there. + +These would also sometimes read lectures and repeat prayers to us. + +After I had been in the Congregational Nunnery about two years, I left +it,[Footnote: See the 2d affidavit.] and attended several different +schools for a short time; but I soon became dissatisfied, having many +and severe trials to endure at home, which my feelings will not allow me +to describe; and as my Catholic acquaintances had often spoken to me in +favour of their faith, I was inclined to believe it true, although, as I +before said, I knew little of any religion. While out of the nunnery, I +saw nothing of religion. If I had, I believe I should never have thought +of becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +BLACK NUNNERY. + + +Preparations to become a Novice in the Black Nunnery--Entrance-- +Occupations of the Novices--The Apartments to which they had Access-- +First Interview with Jane Ray--Reverence for the Superior--Her Reliques +--The Holy Good Shepherd or nameless Nun--Confession of Novices. + +At length I determined to become a Black nun, and called upon one of the +oldest priests in the Seminary, to whom I made known my intention. + +The old priest to whom I applied was Father Rocque. He is still alive. +He was at that time the oldest priest in the Seminary, and carried the +Bon Dieu, (Good God,) as the sacramental wafer is called. When going to +administer it in any country place, he used to ride with a man before +him, who rang a bell as a signal. When the Canadians heard it, whose +habitations he passed, they would come and prostrate themselves to the +earth, worshipping it as God. He was a man of great age, and wore large +curls, so that he somewhat resembled his predecessor, Father Roue. He +was at that time at the head of the Seminary. This institution is a +large edifice, situated near the Congregational and Black Nunneries, +being on the east side of Notre Dame street. It is the general +rendezvous and centre of all the priests in the District of Montreal, +and, I have been told, supplies all the country with priests as far down +as Three Rivers, which place, I believe, is under the charge of the +Seminary of Quebec. About one hundred and fifty priests are connected +with that of Montreal, as every small place has one priest, and a number +of larger ones have two. + +Father Rocque promised to converse with the Superior of the Convent, and +proposed my calling again, at the end of two weeks, at which time I +visited the Seminary again, and was introduced by him to the Superior of +the Black Nunnery. She told me she must make some inquiries, before she +could give me a decided answer; and proposed to me to take up my abode a +few days at the house of a French family in St. Lawrence suburbs, a +distant part of the city. Here I remained about a fortnight; during +which time I formed some acquaintance with the family, particularly with +the mistress of the house, who was a devoted Papist, and had a high +respect for the Superior, with whom she stood on good terms. + +At length, on Saturday morning about ten o'clock, I called and was +admitted into the Black Nunnery, as a novice, much to my satisfaction, +for I had a high idea of a life in a Convent, secluded, as I supposed +the inmates to be, from the world and all its evil influences, and +assured of everlasting happiness in heaven. The Superior received me, +and conducted me into a large room, where the novices, (who are called +in French Postulantes,) were assembled, and engaged in their customary +occupation of sewing. + +Here were about forty of them, and they were collected in groups in +different parts of the room, chiefly near the windows; but in each group +was found one of the veiled nuns of the Convent, whose abode was in the +interior apartments, to which no novice was to be admitted. As we +entered, the Superior informed the assembly that a new novice had come, +and she desired any present who might have known me in the world to +signify it. + +Two Miss Fougnées, and a Miss Howard, from Vermont, who had been my +fellow-pupils in the Congregational Nunnery, immediately recognised me. +I was then placed in one of the groups, at a distance from them, and +furnished by a nun called Sainte Clotilde, with materials to make a kind +of purse, such as the priests use to carry the consecrated wafer in, +when they go to administer the sacrament to the sick. I well remember my +feelings at that time, sitting among a number of strangers, and +expecting with painful anxiety the arrival of the dinner hour. Then, as +I knew, ceremonies were to be performed, for which I was but ill +prepared, as I had not yet heard the rules by which I was to be +governed, and knew nothing of the forms to be repeated in the daily +exercises, except the creed in Latin, and that imperfectly. This was +during the time of recreation, as it is called. The only recreation +there allowed, however, is that of the mind, and of this there is but +little. We were kept at work, and permitted to speak with each other +only on such subjects as related to the Convent, and all in the hearing +of the old nuns who sat by us. We proceeded to dinner in couples, and +ate in silence while a lecture was read. + +The novices had access to only eight of the apartments of the Convent; +and whatever else we wished to know, we could only conjecture. The +sleeping room was in the second story, at the end of the western wing. +The beds were placed in rows, without curtains or anything else to +obstruct the view; and in one corner was a small room partitioned off, +in which was the bed of the night-watch, that is, the old nun that was +appointed to oversee us for the night. In each side of the partition +were two holes, through which she could look out upon us whenever she +pleased. Her bed was a little raised above the level of the others. +There was a lamp hung in the middle of our chamber which showed every +thing to her distinctly; and as she had no light in her little room, we +never could perceive whether she was awake or asleep. As we knew that +the slightest deviation from the rules would expose us to her +observation, as well as to that of our companions, in whom it was a +virtue to betray one another's faults, as well as to confess our own, I +felt myself under a continual exposure to suffer what I disliked, and +had my mind occupied in thinking of what I was to do next, and what I +must avoid. + +I soon learned the rules and ceremonies we had to regard, which were +many; and we had to be very particular in their observance. We were +employed in different kinds of work while I was a novice. The most +beautiful specimen of the nuns' manufacture which I saw was a rich +carpet made of fine worsted, which had been begun before my acquaintance +with the Convent, and was finished while I was there. This was sent as a +present to the King of England, as an expression of gratitude for the +money annually received from the government. It was about forty yards in +length, and very handsome. We were ignorant of the amount of money thus +received. The Convent of Grey Nuns has also received funds from the +government, though on some account or other, had not for several years. + +I was sitting by a window at one time, with a girl named Jane M'Coy, +when one of the old nuns cams up and spoke to us in a tone of liveliness +and kindness which seemed strange, in a place where everything seemed so +cold and reserved. Some remark which she made was evidently intended to +cheer and encourage me, and made me think that she felt some interest in +me. I do not recollect what she said, but I remember it gave me +pleasure. I also remember that her manner struck me singularly. She was +rather old for a nun, that is, probably thirty; her figure large, her +face wrinkled, and her dress careless. She seemed also to be under less +restraint than the others, and this, I afterward found, was the case. +She sometimes even set the rules at defiance. She would speak aloud when +silence was required, and sometimes walk about when she ought to have +kept her place: she would even say and do things on purpose to make us +laugh; and although often blamed for her conduct, had her offences +frequently passed over, when others would have been punished with +penances. + +I learnt that this woman had always been singular. She never would +consent to take a saint's name on receiving the veil, and had always +been known by her own, which was Jane Ray. Her irregularities were found +to be numerous, and penances were of so little use in governing her, +that she was pitied by some, who thought her partially insane. She was, +therefore, commonly spoken of as mad Jane Ray; and when she committed a +fault, it was often apologized for by the Superior or other nuns, on the +ground that she did not know what she did. + +The occupations of a novice in the Black Nunnery are not such as some of +my readers may suppose. They are not employed in studying the higher +branches of education; they are not offered any advantages for storing +their mind, or polishing their manners; they are not taught even +reading, writing, or arithmetic; much less any of the more advanced +branches of knowledge. My time was chiefly employed, at first, in work +and prayers. It is true, during the last year I studied a great deal, +and was required to work but very little; but it was the study of +prayers in French and Latin, which I had merely to commit to memory, to +prepare for the easy repetition of them on my reception, and after I +should be admitted as a nun. + +Among the wonderful events which had happened in the Convent, that of +the sudden conversion of a gay young lady of the city into a nun, +appeared to me one of the most remarkable. The story which I first +heard, while a novice, made a deep impression upon my mind. It was +nearly as follows: + +The daughter of a wealthy citizen of Montreal was passing the church of +Bon Secours, one evening, on her way to a ball, when she was suddenly +thrown down upon the steps or near the door, and received a severe +shock. She was taken up, and removed first, I think, into the church, +but soon into the Black Nunnery, which she soon determined to join as a +nun; instead, however, of being required to pass through a long +novitiate (which usually occupies about two years and a-half, and is +abridged only where the character is peculiarly exemplary and devout), +she was permitted to take the veil without delay; being declared by God +to a priest to be in a state of sanctity. The meaning of this expression +is, that she was a real saint, and already in a great measure raised +above the world and its influences, and incapable of sinning, possessing +the power of intercession, and being a proper object to be addressed in +prayer. This remarkable individual, I was further informed, was still in +the Convent, though I never was allowed to see her; she did not mingle +with the other nuns, either at work, worship, or meals; for she had no +need of food, and not only her soul, but her body, was in heaven a great +part of her time. What added, if possible, to the reverence and +mysterious awe with which I thought of her, was the fact I learned, that +she had no name. The titles used in speaking of her were, the holy +saint, reverend mother, or saint bon pasteur (the holy good shepherd). + +It is wonderful that we could have carried our reverence for the +Superior as far as we did, although it was the direct tendency of many +instructions and regulations, indeed of the whole system, to permit, +even to foster a superstitious regard for her. + +One of us was occasionally called into her room, to cut her nails or +dress her hair; and we would often collect the clippings, and distribute +them to each other, or preserve them with the utmost care. I once picked +up all the stray hairs I could find, after combing her head, bound them +together, and kept them for some time, until she told me I was not +worthy to possess things so sacred. Jane McCoy and I were once sent to +alter a dress for the Superior. I gathered up all the bits of thread, +made a little bag, and put them into it for safe preservation. This I +wore a long time around my neck, so long, indeed, that I wore out a +number of strings, which, I remember, I replace with new ones. I +believed it to possess the power of removing pain, and often prayed to +it to cure the tooth-ache, &c. Jane Ray sometimes professed to outgo us +all in devotion to the Superior, and would pick up the feathers after +making her bed. These she would distributed among us, saying, "When the +Superior dies, reliques will begin to grow scarce, and you had better +supply yourselves in season." Then she would treat the whole matter in +some way to turn it into ridicule. Equally contradictory would she +appear, when occasionally she would obtain leave from the Superior to +tell her dreams. With a serious face, which sometimes imposed upon all +of us, and made us half believe she was in a perfect state of sanctity, +she would narrate in French some unaccountable vision which she said she +had enjoyed. Then turning round, would say, "There are some who do not +understand me; you all ought to be informed." And then she would say +something totally different in English, which put us to the greatest +agony for fear of laughing. Sometimes she would say that she expected to +be Superior herself, one of these days, and other things which I have +not room to repeat. + +While I was in the Congregational Nunnery, I had gone to the parish +church whenever I was to confess; for although the nuns had a private +confession-room in the building, the boarders were taken in parties +through the streets on different days by some of the nuns, to confess in +the church; but in the Black Nunnery, as we had a chapel and priests +attending in the confessionals, we never left the building. + +Our confessions there as novices, were always performed in one way, so +that it may be sufficient to describe a single case. Those of us who +were to confess at a particular time, took our places on our knees near +the confessional-box, and after having repeated a number of prayers, +&c., prescribed in our books, came up one at a time and kneeled beside a +fine wooden lattice-work, which entirely separated the confessor from +us, yet permitted us to place our faces almost to his ear, and nearly +concealed his countenance from view, even when so near. I recollect how +the priests used to recline their heads on one side, and often covered +their faces with their handkerchiefs, while they heard me confess my +sins, and put questions to me, which were often of the most improper and +even revolting nature, naming crimes both unthought of and inhuman. +Still, strange as it may seem, I was persuaded to believe that all this +was their duty, or at least that it was done without sin. + +Veiled nuns would often appear in the chapel at confession; though, as I +understood, they generally confessed in private. Of the plan of their +confession-rooms I had no information; but I supposed the ceremony to be +conducted much on the same plan as in the chapel and in the church, viz. +with a lattice interposed between the confessor and the confessing. + +Punishments were sometimes resorted to, while I was a novice, though but +seldom. The first time I ever saw a gag, was one day when a young novice +had done something to offend the Superior. This girl I always had +compassion for; because she was very young, and an orphan. The Superior +sent for a gag, and expressed her regret at being compelled, by the bad +conduct of the child, to proceed to such a punishment; after which she +put it into her mouth, so far as to keep it open, and then let it remain +some time before she took it out. There was a leathern strap fastened to +each end, and buckled to the back part of the head. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Displeased with the Convent--Left it--Residence at St. Denis--Reliques-- +Marriage--Return to the Black Nunnery--Objections made by some Novices-- +Ideas of the Bible. + + +After I had been in the nunneries four or five years, from the time I +commenced school at the Congregational Convent, one day I was treated by +one of the nuns in a manner which displeased me, and because I expressed +some resentment, was required to beg her pardon. Not being satisfied +with this, although I complied with the command, nor with the coolness +with which the Superior treated me, I determined to quit the Convent at +once, which I did without asking leave. There would have been no +obstacle to my departure, I presume, novice as I then was, if I had +asked permission; but I was too much displeased to wait for that, and +went home without speaking to any one on the subject. + +I soon after visited the town of St. Denis, where I saw two young ladies +with whom I had formerly been acquainted in Montreal, and one of them a +former schoolmate at Mr. Workman's school. After some conversation with +me, and learning that I had known a lady who kept school in the place, +they advised me to apply to her to be employed as her assistant teacher; +for she was then instructing the government school in that place. I +visited her, and found her willing, and I engaged at once as her +assistant. + +The government society paid her 20_l_: a-year: she was obliged to +teach ten children gratuitously; might receive fifteen pence a month +(about a quarter of a dollar), for each of ten scholars more; and then +she was at liberty, according to the regulations, to demand as much as +she pleased for the other pupils. The course of instruction, as required +by the society, embraced only reading, writing, and what was called +ciphering, though I think improperly. The only books used were a +spelling-book, l'Instruction de la Jeunesse, the Catholic New Testament, +and l'Histoire de Canada. When these had been read through, in regular +succession, the children were dismissed as having completed their +education. No difficulty is found in making the common French Canadians +content with such an amount of instruction as this; on the contrary, it +is often very hard indeed to prevail upon them to send their children at +all, for they say it takes too much of the love of God from them to sent +them to school. The teacher strictly complied with the requisitions of +the society in whose employment she was, and the Roman Catholic +catechism was regularly taught in the school, as much from choice as +from submission to authority, as she was a strict Catholic. I had +brought with me the little bag I have before mentioned, in which I had +so long kept the clippings of the thread left after making a dress for +the Superior. Such was my regard for it, that I continued to wear it +constantly round my neck, and to feel the same reverence for its +supposed virtues as before. I occasionally had the toothache during my +stay at St. Denis, and then always relied on the influence of my little +bag. On such occasions I would say-- + +"By the virtue of this bag, may I be delivered from the toothache;" and +I supposed that when it ceased, it was owing to that cause. + +While engaged in this manner, I became acquainted with a man who soon +proposed marriage; and young and ignorant of the world as I was, I heard +his offers with favour. On consulting with my friend, she expressed an +interest for me, advised me against taking such a step, and especially +as I knew little about the man, except that a report was circulated +unfavorable to his character. Unfortunately, I was not wise enough to +listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I had +occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the report proved true--a +report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our separation. +After I had been in St. Denis about three months, finding myself thus +situated, and not knowing what else to do, I determined to return to the +Convent, and pursue my former intention of becoming a Black nun, could I +gain admittance. Knowing the many inquiries that the Superior would make +relative to me, during my absence before leaving St. Denis, I agreed +with the lady with whom I had been associated as a teacher (when she +went to Montreal, which she did very frequently), to say to the Lady +Superior that I had been under her protection during my absence, which +would satisfy her, and stop further inquiry; as I was sensible, that, +should they know I had been married, I should not gain admittance. + +I soon returned to Montreal, and on reaching the city, I visited the +Seminary, and in another interview with the Superior of it, communicated +my wish, and desired him to procure my re-admission as a novice. Little +delay occurred. + +After leaving me for a short time, he returned, and told me that the +Superior of the Convent had consented, and I was soon introduced into +her presence. She blamed me for my conduct in leaving the nunnery, but +told me that I ought to be ever grateful to my guardian angel for taking +care of me, and bringing me in safety back to that retreat. I requested +that I might be secured against the reproaches and ridicule of all the +novices and nuns, which I thought some might be disposed to cast upon me +unless prohibited by the Superior; and this she promised me. The money +usually required for the admission of novices had not been expected from +me. I had been admitted the first time without any such requisition; but +now I chose to pay it for my re-admission. I knew that she was able to +dispense with such a demand as well in this as the former case, and she +knew that I was not in possession of any thing like the sum required. + +But I was bent on paying to the Nunnery, and accustomed to receive the +doctrine often repeated to me before that time, that when the advantage +of the church was consulted, the steps taken were justifiable, let them +be what they would, I therefore resolved to obtain money on false +pretences, confident that if all were known, I should be far from +displeasing the Superior. I went to the brigade major, and asked him to +give me the money payable to my mother from her pension, which amounted +to about thirty dollars, and without questioning my authority to receive +it in her name, he gave it me. + +From several of her friends I obtained small sums under the name of +loans, so that altogether I had soon raised a number of pounds, with +which I hastened to the nunnery, and deposited a part in the hands of +the Superior. She received the money with evident satisfaction, though +she must have known that I could not have obtained it honestly; and I +was at once re-admitted as a novice. + +Much to my gratification, not a word fell from the lips of any of my old +associates in relation to my unceremonious departure, nor my voluntary +return. The Superior's orders, I had not a doubt, had been explicitly +laid down, and they certainly were carefully obeyed, for I never heard +an allusion made to that subject during my subsequent stay in the +Convent, except that, when alone, the Superior would herself sometimes +say a little about it. + +There were numbers of young ladies who entered awhile as novices, and +became weary or disgusted with some things they observed, and remained +but a short time. One of my cousins, who lived at Lachine, named Reed, +spent about a fortnight in the Convent with me. She, however, conceived +such an antipathy against the priests, that she used expressions which +offended the Superior. + +The first day she attended mass, while at dinner with us in full +community, she said before us all: "What a rascal that priest was, to +preach against his best friend!" + +All stared at such an unusual exclamation, and some one inquired what +she meant. + +"I say," she continued, "he has been preaching against him who gives him +his bread. Do you suppose that if there were no devil, there would be +any priests?" + +This bold young novice was immediately dismissed: and in the afternoon +we had a long sermon from the Superior on the subject. + +It happened that I one day got a leaf of an English Bible, which had +been brought into the Convent, wrapped round some sewing silk, purchased +at a store in the city. For some reason or other, I determined to commit +to memory a chapter it contained, which I soon did. It is the only +chapter I ever learnt in the Bible, and I can now repeat it. It is the +second of St. Matthew's gospel, "Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of +Judea," &c. + +It happened that I was observed reading the paper, and when the nature +of it was discovered, I was condemned to do penance for my offence. + +Great dislike to the Bible was shown by those who conversed with me +about it, and several have remarked to me, at different times, that if +it were not for that book, Catholics would never be led to renounce +their own faith. + +I heard passages read from the Evangile, relating to the death of +Christ; the conversion of Paul; a few chapters from St. Matthew, and +perhaps a few others. The priest would also sometimes take a verse or +two, and preach from it. I read St. Peter's Life, but only in the book +called the "Lives of the Saints." He, I understand, has the keys of +heaven and hell, and has founded our church. As for St. Paul, I +remember, as I was taught to understand it, that he was once a great +persecutor of the Roman _Catholics_, until he became convicted, and +confessed to one of the _father confessors_, I don't know which. +For who can expect to be forgiven who does not become a Catholic, and +confess? + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +Received Confirmation--Painful Feelings--Specimen of Instruction +received on the Subject. + + +The day on which I received confirmation was a distressing one to me. I +believed the doctrine of the Roman Catholics, and according to them I +was guilty of three mortal sins; concealing something at confession, +sacrilege, in putting the body of Christ in the sacrament under my feet, +and receiving it while not in a state of grace; and now, I had been led +into all those sins in consequence of my marriage, which I never had +acknowledged, as it would cut me off from being admitted as a nun. + +On the day, therefore, when I went to the church to be confirmed, with a +number of others, I suffered extremely from the reproaches of my +conscience. I knew, at least I believed, as I had been told, that a +person who had been anointed with the holy oil of confirmation on the +forehead, and dying in the state in which I was, would go down to hell, +and in the place where the oil had been rubbed, the names of my sins +would blaze out on my forehead; these would be a sign by which the +devils would know me; and they would torment me the worse for them. I +was thinking of all this, while I sat in the pew, waiting to receive the +oil. I felt, however, some consolation, as I often did afterward when my +sins came to mind; and this consolation I derived from another doctrine +of the same church: viz. that a bishop could absolve me from all these +sins any minute before my death; and I intended to confess them all to a +bishop before leaving the world. At length, the moment for administering +the "sacrament" arrived, and a bell was rung. Those who had come to be +confirmed had brought tickets from their confessors, and these were +thrown into a hat, carried around by a priest who in turn handed each to +the bishop, by which he learnt the name of each of us, and applied a +little of the oil to our foreheads. This was immediately rubbed off by a +priest with a bit of cloth, quite roughly. + +I went home with some qualms of conscience, and often thought with dread +of the following tale, which I have heard told to illustrate the +sinfulness of conduct like mine. + +A priest was once travelling, when, just as he was passing by a house, +his horse fell on his knees, and would not rise. His rider dismounted, +and went in to learn the cause of so extraordinary an occurrence. He +found there a woman near death, to whom a priest was trying to +administer the sacrament, but without success; for every, time she +attempted to swallow it, it was thrown back out of her mouth into the +chalice. He perceived it was owing to unconfessed sin, and took away the +holy wafer from her: on which his horse rose from his knees, and he +pursued his journey. + +I often remembered also that I had been told, that we shall have as many +devils biting us, if we go to hell, as we have unconfessed sins on our +consciences. + +I was required to devote myself for about a year, to the study of the +prayers and the practice of the ceremonies necessary on the reception of +a nun. This I found a very tedious duty; but as I was released in a +great degree from the daily labors usually demanded of novices, I felt +little disposition to complain. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Taking the Veil--Interview afterward with the Superior--Surprise and +horror at her Disclosure--Resolution to Submit. + + +I was introduced into the Superior's room on the evening preceding the +day on which I was to take the veil, to have an interview with the +Bishop. The Superior was present, and the interview lasted about half an +hour. The Bishop on this as on other occasions appeared to me habitually +rough in his manners. His address was by no means prepossessing. + +Before I took the veil, I was ornamented for the ceremony, and was +clothed in a rich dress belonging to the Convent, which was used on such +occasions; and placed not far from the altar in the chapel, in the view +of a number of spectators who had assembled, perhaps about forty. Taking +the veil is an affair which occurs so frequently in Montreal, that it +has long ceased to be regarded as a novelty; and, although notice had +been given in the French parish church as usual, only a small audience +had assembled, as I have mentioned. + +Being well prepared with a long training, and frequent rehearsals, for +what I was to perform, I stood waiting in my large flowing dress for the +appearance of the Bishop. He soon presented himself, entering by the +door behind the altar; I then threw myself at his feet, and asked him to +confer upon me the veil. He expressed his consent, and threw it over my +head, saying, "Receive the veil, O thou spouse of Jesus Christ;" and +then turning to the Superior, I threw myself prostrate at her feet, +according to my instructions, repeating what I had before done at +rehearsals, and made a movement as if to kiss her feet. This she +prevented, or appeared to prevent, catching me by a sudden motion of her +hand, and granted my request. I then kneeled before the Holy Sacrament, +that is, a very large round wafer held by the Bishop between his fore- +finger and thumb, and made my vows. + +This wafer I had been taught to regard with the utmost veneration, as +the real body of Jesus Christ, the presence of which made the vows +uttered before it binding in the most solemn manner. + +After taking the vows, I proceeded to a small apartment behind the +altar, accompanied by four nuns, where was a coffin prepared with my nun +name engraven upon it: + +"SAINT EUSTACE." + +My companions lifted it by four handles attached to it, while I threw +off my dress, and put on that of a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise; and then we +all returned to the chapel. I proceeded first, and was followed by the +four nuns; the Bishop naming a number of worldly pleasures in rapid +succession, in reply to which I as rapidly repeated--"Je renonce, je +renonce, je renonce"--[I renounce, I renounce, I renounce.] + +The coffin was then placed in front of the altar, and I advanced to lay +myself in it. This coffin was to be deposited, after the ceremony, in an +outhouse, to be preserved until my death, when it was to receive my +corpse. There were reflections which I naturally made at the time, but I +stepped in, extended myself, and lay still. A pillow had been placed at +the head of the coffin, to support my head in a comfortable position. A +large, thick black cloth was then spread over me, and the chanting of +Latin hymns immediately commenced. My thoughts were not the most +pleasing during the time I lay in that situation. The pall, or Drap +Mortel, as the cloth is called, had a strong smell of incense, which was +always disagreeable to me, and then proved almost suffocating. I +recollected also a story I had heard of a novice, who, in taking the +veil, lay down in her coffin like me, and was covered in the same +manner, but on the removal of the covering was found dead. + +When I was uncovered, I rose, stepped out of my coffin, and kneeled. The +Bishop then addressed these words to the Superior, "Take care and keep +pure and spotless this young virgin, whom Christ has consecrated to +himself this day." After which the music commenced, and here the whole +was finished. I then proceeded from the chapel, and returned to the +Superior's room, followed by the other nuns, who walked two by two, in +their customary manner, with their hands folded on their breasts, and +their eyes cast down upon the floor. The nun who was to be my companion +in future, then walked at the end of the procession. On reaching the +Superior's door, they all left me, and I entered alone, and found her +with the Bishop and two priests. + +The Superior now informed me, that having taken the black veil, it only +remained that I should swear the three oaths customary on becoming a +nun; and that some explanations would be necessary from her. I was now, +she told me, to have access to every part of the edifice, even to the +cellar, where two of the sisters were imprisoned for causes which she +did not mention. I must be informed, that one of my great duties was, to +obey the priests in all things; and this I soon learnt, to my utter +astonishment and horror, was to live in the practice of criminal +intercourse with them. I expressed some of the feelings which this +announcement excited in me, which came upon me like a flash of +lightning, but the only effect was to set her arguing with me, in favor +of the crime, representing it as a virtue acceptable to God, and +honorable to me. The priests, she said, were not situated like other +men, being forbidden to marry; while they lived secluded, laborious, and +self-denying lives for our salvation. They might, indeed, be considered +our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain the pardon +of sin, and must go to hell. Now, it was our solemn duty, on withdrawing +from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to practice every +species of self-denial. We could not become too humble, nor mortify our +feelings too far; this was to be done by opposing them, and acting +contrary to them; and what she proposed was, therefore, pleasing in the +sight of God. I now felt how foolish I had been to place myself in the +power of such persons as were around me. + +From what she said I could draw no other conclusion, but that I was +required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my +future associates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and +detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and +horror, she told me that such feelings were very common at first, and +that many other nuns had expressed themselves as I did, who had long +since changed their minds. She even said, that on her entrance into the +nunnery, she had felt like me. + +Doubts, she declared, were among our greatest enemies. They would lead +us to question every point of duty, and induce us to waver at every +step. They arose only from remaining imperfection, and were always +evidence of sin. Our only way was to dismiss them immediately, repent, +and confess them. They were deadly sins, and would condemn us to hell, +if we should die without confessing them. Priests, she insisted, could +not sin. It was a thing impossible. Everything that they did, and +wished, was of course right. She hoped I would see the reasonableness +and duty of the oaths I was to take, and be faithful to them. + +She gave me another piece of information which excited other feelings in +me, scarcely less dreadful. Infants were sometimes born in the convent; +but they were always baptized and immediately strangled! This secured +their everlasting happiness; for the baptism purified them from all +sinfulness, and being sent out of the world before they had time to do +anything wrong, they were at once admitted into heaven. How happy, she +exclaimed, are those who secure immortal happiness to such little +beings! Their little souls would thank those who kill their bodies, if +they had it in their power! + +Into what a place, and among what society, had I been admitted! How +differently did a Convent now appear from what I had supposed it to be! +The holy women I had always fancied the nuns to be, the venerable Lady +Superior, what were they? And the priests of the seminary adjoining, +some of whom indeed I had had reason to think were base and profligate +men, what were they all? I now learnt they were often admitted into the +nunnery, and allowed to indulge in the greatest crimes, which they and +others called virtues. + +After having listened for some time to the Superior alone, a number of +the nuns were admitted, and took a free part in the conversation. They +concurred in everything which she had told me, and repeated, without any +signs of shame or compunction, things which criminated themselves. I +must acknowledge the truth, and declare that all this had an effect upon +my mind. I questioned whether I might not be in the wrong, and felt as +if their reasoning might have some just foundation. I had been several +years under the tuition of Catholics, and was ignorant of the +Scriptures, and unaccustomed to the society, example, and conversation +of Protestants; had not heard any appeal to the Bible as authority, but +had been taught, both by precept and example, to receive as truth +everything said by the priests. I had not heard their authority +questioned, nor anything said of any other standard of faith but their +declarations. I had long been familiar with the corrupt and licentious +expressions which some of them use at confessions, and believed that +other women were also. I had no standard of duty to refer to, and no +judgment of my own which I knew how to use, or thought of using. + +All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and +sinfulness; that they knew by experience they would soon give place to +true knowledge, and an advance in religion; and I felt something like +indecision. + +Still, there was so much that disgusted me in the discovery I had now +made, of the debased characters around me, that I would most gladly have +escaped from the nunnery, and never returned. But that was a thing not +to be thought of. I was in their power, and this I deeply felt, while I +thought there was not one among the whole number of nuns to whom I could +look for kindness. There was one, however, who began to speak to me at +length in a tone that gained something of my confidence,--the nun whom I +have mentioned before as distinguished by her oddity, Jane Ray, who made +us so much amusement when I was a novice. Although, as I have remarked, +there was nothing in her face, form, or manners, to give me any +pleasure, she addressed me with apparent friendliness; and while she +seemed to concur in some things spoken by them, took an opportunity to +whisper a few words in my ear, unheard by them, intimating that I had +better comply with everything the Superior desired, if I would save my +life. I was somewhat alarmed before, but I now became much more so, and +determined to make no further resistance. The Superior then made me +repeat the three oaths; and when I had sworn them, I was shown into one +of the community rooms, and remained some time with the nuns, who were +released from their usual employments, and enjoying a recreation day, on +account of the admission of a new sister. My feelings during the +remainder of that day, I shall not attempt to describe; but pass on to +mention the ceremonies which took place at dinner. This description may +give an idea of the manner in which we always took our meals, although +there were some points in which the breakfast and supper were different. + +At 11 o'clock the bell rung for dinner, and the nuns all took their +places in a double row, in the same order as that in which they left the +chapel in the morning, except that my companion and myself were +stationed at the end of the line. Standing thus for a moment, with our +hands placed one on the other over the breast, and hidden in our large +cuffs, with our heads bent forward, and eyes fixed on the floor; an old +nun who stood at the door, clapped her hands as a signal for us to +proceed, and the procession moved on, while we all commenced the +repetition of litanies. We walked on in this order, repeating all the +way, until we reached the door of the dining-room, where we were divided +into two lines; those on the right passing down one side of the long +table, and those on the left the other, till all were in, and each +stopped in her place. The plates were all ranged, each with a knife, +fork, and spoon, rolled up in a napkin, and tied round with a linen band +marked with the owner's name. My own plate, knife, fork, &c., were +prepared like the rest, and on the band around them I found my new name +written:--"SAINT EUSTACE." + +There we stood till all had concluded the litany; when the old nun who +had taken her place at the head of the table next the door, said the +prayer before meat, beginning "Benedicite," and we sat down. I do not +remember of what our dinner consisted, but we usually had soup and some +plain dish of meat, the remains of which were occasionally served up at +supper as a fricassee. One of the nuns who had been appointed to read +that day, rose and began to lecture from a book put into her hands by +the Superior, while the rest of us ate in perfect silence. The nun who +reads during dinner stays afterward to dine. As fast as we finished our +meals, each rolled up her knife, fork, and spoon in her napkin, and +bound them together with the band, and set with hands folded. The old +nun then said a short prayer, rose, stepped a little aside, clapped her +hands, and we marched towards the door, bowing as we passed before a +little chapel or glass box, containing a wax image of the infant Jesus. + +Nothing important occurred until late in the afternoon, when, as I was +sitting in the community-room, Father Dufrèsne called me out, saying he +wished to speak with me. I feared what was his intention; but I dared +not disobey. In a private apartment, he treated me in a brutal manner; +and from two other priests I afterward received similar usage that +evening. Father Dufrèsne afterward appeared again; and I was compelled +to remain in company with him until morning. + +I am assured that the conduct of the priests in our Convent has never +been exposed, and is not imagined by the people of the United States. +This induces me to say what I do, notwithstanding the strong reasons I +have to let it remain unknown. Still, I cannot force myself to speak on +such subjects except in the most brief manner. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +Daily Ceremonies--Jane Ray among the Nuns. + + +On Thursday morning, the bell rung at half-past six to awaken us. The +old nun who was acting as night-watch immediately spoke aloud: + +"Voici le Seigneur qui vient." (Behold the Lord cometh.) The nuns all +responded: + +"Allons-y devant lui." (Let us go and meet him.) + +We then rose immediately, and dressed as expeditiously as possible, +stepping into the passage-way at the foot of our beds as soon as we were +ready, and taking places each beside her opposite companion. Thus we +were soon drawn up in a double row the whole length of the room, with +our hands folded across our breasts, and concealed in the broad cuffs of +our sleeves. Not a word was uttered. When the signal was given, we all +proceeded to the community-room, which is spacious, and took our places +in rows facing the entranced, near which the Superior was seated in a +vergiere, or large chair. + +We first repeated, "Au nom du Père, du Fils, et du Saint Esprit--Ainsi +soit il." (In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost-- +Amen.) + +We then kneeled and kissed the floor; then, still on our knees, we said +a very long prayer, beginning: Divin Jesus, Sauveur de mon âme, (Divine +Jesus, Saviour of my soul). Then came the Lord's prayer, three Hail +Marys, four creeds, and five confessions (confesse à Dieu). + +Next we repeated the ten commandments. Then we repeated the Acts of +Faith, and a prayer to the Virgin in Latin, (which, like every thing +else in Latin, I never understood a word of.) Next we said the litanies +of the holy name of Jesus, in Latin, which was afterward to be repeated +several times in the course of the day. Then came the prayer for the +beginning of the day; then bending down, we commenced the Orison Mental +(or Mental Orison), which lasted about an hour and a half. + +This exercise was considered peculiarly solemn. We were told in the +nunnery that a certain saint was saved by the use of it, as he never +omitted it. It consists of several parts: First, the Superior read to us +a chapter from a book, which occupied five minutes. Then profound +silence prevailed for fifteen minutes, during which we were meditating +upon it. Then she read another chapter of equal length, on a different +subject and we meditated upon that another quarter of an hour; and after +a third reading and meditation, we finished the exercise with a prayer, +called an act of contrition, in which we asked forgiveness for the sins +committed during the Orison. + +During this hour and a half I became very weary, having before been +kneeling for some time, and having then to sit in another position more +uncomfortable, with my feet under me, my hands clasped, and my body bent +humbly forward, with my head bowed down. + +When the Orison was over, we all rose to the upright kneeling posture, +and repeated several prayers, and the litanies of the providences, +"providence de Dieu," &c.; then followed a number of Latin prayers, +which we repeated on the way to mass, for in the nunnery we had mass +daily. + +When mass was over we proceeded in our usual order to the eating-room to +breakfast, practising the same forms which I have described at dinner. +Having made our meal in silence, we repeated the litanies of the "holy +name of Jesus" as we proceeded to the community-room; and such as had +not finished them on their arrival, threw themselves upon their knees, +and remained there until they had gone through with them, and then +kissing the floor, rose again. + +At nine o'clock commenced the lecture, which was read by a nun appointed +to perform that duty that day; all the rest of us in the room being +engaged in work. + +The nuns were at this time distributed in different community-rooms, at +different kinds of work, and in each were listening to a lecture. This +exercise continued until ten o'clock, when the recreation-bell rang. We +still continued our work, but the nuns began to converse with each +other, on subjects permitted by the rules in the hearing of the old +nuns, one of whom was seated in each of the groups. + +At half-past ten the silence bell rang, and then conversation instantly +ceased, and the recitation of some Latin prayers commenced, which +continued half an hour. + +At eleven o'clock the dinner-bell rang, and then we proceeded to the +dining-room, and went through the forms and ceremonies of the preceding +day. We proceeded two by two. The old nun who had the command of us, +clapped her hands as the first couple reached the door, when we stopped. +The first two dipped their fingers into the font, touched the holy water +to the breast, forehead, and each side, thus forming a cross, said, "In +the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen," and then walked on +to the dining-room, repeating the litanies. The rest followed their +example. On reaching the door the couples divided, and the two rows of +nuns marching up, stopped and faced the table against their plates. +There we stood, repeating the close of the litany aloud. The old nun +then pronounced + +"BENEDICITE," + +and we sat down. One of our number began to read a lecture, which +continued during the whole meal: she stays to eat after the rest have +retired. When we had dined, each of us folded up her napkin, and again +folded her hands. The old nun then repeated a short prayer in French, +and stepping aside from the head of the table, let us pass out as we +came in. Each of us bowed in passing the little chapel near the door, +which is a glass case, containing a waxen figure of the infant Jesus. +When we reached the community-room we took our places in rows, and +kneeled upon the floor, while a nun read aloud, "Douleurs de notre +Sainte Marie" (the sorrows of our holy Mary.) At the end of each verse +we responded "Ave Maria." We then repeated again the litanies of the +Providences, and the + +"BENIS," &c. + +Then we kissed the floor, and rising, took our work, with leave to +converse on permitted subjects; that is what is called _recreation_ +till one o'clock. We then began to repeat litanies, one at a time in +succession, still engaged at sewing, for an hour. + +At two o'clock commenced the afternoon lectures, which lasted till near +three. At that hour one of the nuns stood up in the middle of the room, +and asked each of us a question out of the catechism; and such as were +unable to answer correctly, were obliged to kneel down, until that +exercise was concluded, upon as many dry peas as there were verses in +the chapter out of which they were questioned. This seems like a penance +of no great importance; but I have sometimes kneeled on peas until I +suffered great inconvenience, and even pain. It soon makes one feel as +if needles were running through the skin: whoever thinks it a trifle, +had better try it. + +At four o'clock recreation commenced, when we were allowed, as usual, to +speak to each other, while at work. + +At half-past four we began to repeat prayers in Latin, while we worked, +and concluded about five o'clock, when we commenced repeating the +"prayers for the examination of conscience," the "prayer after +confession," the "prayer before sacrament," and the "prayer after +sacrament." Thus we continued our work until dark, when we laid it +aside, and began to go over the same prayers which we had repeated in +the morning, with the exception of the orison mental; instead of that +long exercise, we examined our consciences, to determine whether we had +performed the resolution we had made in the morning; and such as had +kept it, repeated an "acte de joie," or expression of gratitude; while +such as had not, said an "acte de contrition." + +When the prayers were concluded, any nun who had been disobedient in the +day, knelt and asked pardon of the Superior and her companions "for the +scandal she had caused them;" and then requested the Superior to give +her a penance to perform. When all the penances, had been imposed, we +all proceeded to the eating-room to supper, repeating litanies on the +way. + +At supper the ceremonies were the same as at dinner, except that there +was no lecture read. We ate in silence, and went out bowing to the +chapelle, and repeating litanies. Returning to the community-room which +we had left, we had more prayers to repeat, which are called La +couronne, (crown,) which consists of the following parts: + + 1st, Four Paters, + 2d, Four Ave Marias, + 3d, Four Gloria Patris, + 4th, Benis, &c. + +At the close of these we kissed the floor; after which we had recreation +till half-past eight o'clock, being allowed to converse on permitted +subjects, but closely watched, and not allowed to sit in corners. + +At half-past eight a bell was rung, and a chapter was read to us, in a +book of meditations, to employ our minds upon during our waking hours at +night. + +Standing near the door, we dipped our fingers in the holy water, crossed +and blessed ourselves, and proceeded up to the sleeping-room, in the +usual order, two by two. When we had got into bed, we repeated a prayer +beginning with + + "Mon Dieu, je vous donne mon coeur," + "God, I give you my heart;" + +and then an old nun, bringing some holy water, sprinkled it on our beds +to drive away the devil, while we took some and crossed ourselves again. + +At nine o'clock the bell rung, and all who were awake repeated a prayer, +called the offrande; those who were asleep were considered as excused. + +After my admission among the nuns, I had more opportunity than before, +to observe the conduct of mad Jane Ray. She behaved quite differently +from the rest, and with a degree of levity irreconcilable with the +rules. She was, as I have described her, a large woman, with nothing +beautiful or attractive in her face, form, or manners; careless in her +dress, and of a restless disposition, which prevented her from steadily +applying herself to any thing for any length of time, and kept her +roving about, and almost perpetually talking to somebody or other. It +would be very difficult to give an accurate description of this singular +woman; dressed in the plain garments of the nuns, bound by the same +vows, and accustomed to the same life, resembling them in nothing else, +and frequently interrupting all their employments. She was apparently +almost always studying or pursuing some odd fancy; now rising from +sewing, to walk up and down, or straying in from another apartment, +looking about, addressing some of us, and passing out again, or saying +something to make us laugh, in periods of the most profound silence. But +what showed that she was no novelty, was the little attention paid to +her, and the levity with which she was treated by the old nuns; even the +Superior every day passed over irregularities in this singular person, +which she would have punished with penances, or at least have met with +reprimands, in any other. From what I saw of her, I soon perceived that +she betrayed two distinct traits of character; a kind disposition +towards such as she chose to prefer, and a pleasure in teasing those she +disliked, or such as had offended her. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Description of Apartments in the Black Nunnery, in order.--1st Floor--2d +Floor--The Founder--Superior's Management with the Friends of Novices +--Religious Lies--Criminality of Concealing Sins at Confession. + + +I will now give from memory, a general description of the interior of the +Convent of Black nuns, except the few apartments which I never saw. I +may be inaccurate in some things, as the apartments and passages of that +spacious building are numerous and various; but I am willing to risk my +credit for truth and sincerity on the general correspondence between my +description and things as they are. And this would, perhaps be as good a +case as any by which to test the truth of my statements, were it +possible to obtain access to the interior. It is well known, that none +but veiled nuns, the bishop, and priests, are ever admitted; and, of +course, that I cannot have seen what I profess to describe, if I have +not been a Black nun. [Footnote: I ought to have made an exception here, +which I may enlarge upon in future Certain other persons are sometimes +admitted.] The priests who read this book, will acknowledge to +themselves the truth of my description; but will, of course deny it to +the world, and probably exert themselves to destroy or discredit, I +offer to every reader the following description, knowing that time may +possibly throw open those secret recesses, and allow the entrance of +those who can satisfy themselves, with their own eyes, of its truth. +Some of my declarations may be thought deficient in evidence; and this +they must of necessity be in the present state of things. But here is a +kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how unquestionable and +satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be obtained. + +If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever it shall be examined, is +materially different from the following description, then I can claim no +confidence of my readers. If it resembles it, they will, I presume, +place confidence in some of those declarations, on which I may never be +corroborated by true and living witnesses. + +I am sensible that great changes may be made in the furniture of +apartments; that new walls may be constructed, or old ones removed; and +I have been credibly informed, that masons have been employed in the +nunnery since I left it. I well know, however, that entire changes +cannot be made; and that enough must remain as it was to substantiate my +description, whenever the truth shall be known. + +_The First Story_. + +Beginning at the extremity of the right wing of the Convent, towards +Notre Dame-street, on the first story, there is-- + +1st. The nuns' private chapel, adjoining which is a passage to a small +projection of the building, extending from the upper story to the +ground, with very small windows. Into the passage we were sometimes +required to bring wood from the yard and pile it up for use. + +2d. A large community-room, with plain benches fixed against the wall to +sit, and lower ones in front to place our feet upon. There is a fountain +in the passage near the chimney at the farther end, for washing the +hands and face, with a green curtain sliding on a rod before it. This +passage leads to the old nuns' sleeping-room on the right, and the +Superior's sleeping-room, just beyond it, as well as to a staircase +which conducts to the nuns' sleeping-room, or dortoir, above. At the end +of the passage is a door opening into-- + +3d. The dining-room; this is larger than the community-room, and has +three long tables for eating, and a chapelle, or collection of little +pictures, a crucifix, and a small image of the infant Saviour in a glass +case. This apartment has four doors, by the first of which we are +supposed to have entered, while one opens to a pantry, and the third and +fourth to the two next apartments. + +4th. A large community-room, with tables for sewing, and a staircase on +the opposite left-hand corner. + +5th. A community-room for prayer, used by both nuns and novices. In the +farther right-hand corner is a small room partitioned off, called the +room for the examination of conscience, which I had visited while a +novice by permission of the Superior, and where nuns and novices +occasionally resorted to reflect on their character, usually in +preparation for the sacrament, or when they had transgressed some of the +rules. This little room was hardly large enough to contain half a dozen +persons at a time. + +6th. Next beyond is a large community-room for Sundays. A door leads to +the yard, and thence to a gate in the wall on the cross street. + +7th. Adjoining this is a sitting-room, fronting on the cross street, +with two windows, and a store-room on the side opposite them. There is +but little furniture, and that very plain. + +8th. From this room a door leads into what I may call the wax-room, as +it contains many figures in wax, not intended for sale. There we +sometimes used to pray, or meditate on the Saviour's passion. This room +projects from the main building; leaving it, you enter a long passage, +with cupboards on the right, in which are stored crockery-ware, knives +and forks, and other articles of table furniture, to replace those worn +out or broken--all of the plainest description; also, shovels, tongs, +&c. This passage leads to-- + +9th. A corner room, with a few benches, &c., and a door leading to a +gate on the street. Here some of the medicines were kept, and persons +were often admitted on business, or to obtain medicines with tickets +from the priests; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be +sent for. Beyond this room we were never allowed to go; and I cannot +speak from personal knowledge of what came next. + +_The Second Story_. + +Beginning, as before, at the western extremity of the same wing, but on +the second story, the farthest apartment in that direction which I ever +entered was-- + +1st. The nuns' sleeping-room, or dormitory, which I have already +described. Here is an access to the projection mentioned in speaking of +the first story. The stairs by which we came up to bed are at the +farther end of the room; and near them a crucifix and font of holy +water. A door at the end of the room opens into a passage, with two +small rooms, and closets between them, containing bedclothes. Next you +enter-- + +2d. A small community-room, beyond which is a passage with a narrow +staircase, seldom used, which leads into the fourth community-room, in +the first story. Following the passage just mentioned, you enter by a +door-- + +3d. A little sitting-room, furnished in the following manner: with +chairs, a sofa, on the north side, covered with a red-figured cover and +fringe, a table in the middle, commonly bearing one or two books, an +inkstand, pens, &c. At one corner is a little projection into the room, +caused by a staircase leading from above to the floor below, without any +communication with the second story. This room has a door opening upon a +staircase leading down to the yard, on the opposite side of which is a +gate opening into the cross street. By this way the physician is +admitted, except when he comes later than usual. When he comes in, he +usually sits a little while, until a nun goes into the adjoining nuns' +sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to admit him. After +prescribing for the patients he goes no farther, but returns by the way +he enters; and these two are the only rooms into which he is ever +admitted, except the public hospital. + +4th. The nuns' sick-room adjoins the little sitting-room on the east, +and has, I think, four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in +two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the opposite +extremity. The door from the sitting-room swings to the left, and behind +it is a table, while a glass case, to the right, contains a wax figure +of the infant Saviour, with several sheep. Near the northeastern corner +of this room are two doors, one of which opens into a long and narrow +passage leading to the head of the great staircase that conducts to the +cross street. By this passage the physician sometimes finds his way to +the sick-room, when he comes later than usual. He rings the bell at the +gate, which I was told had a concealed pull, known only to him and the +priests, proceeds up-stairs and through the passage, rapping three times +at the door of the sick-room, which is opened by a nun in attendance, +after she has given one rap in reply. When he has visited his patients, +and prescribed for them, he returns by the same way. + +5th. Next beyond this sick-room, is a large unoccupied apartment, half +divided by two partial partitions, which leave an open space in the +middle. Here some of the old nuns commonly sit in the day-time. + +6th. A door from this apartment opens into another not appropriated to +any particular use, but containing a table, where medicines are +sometimes prepared by an old nun, who is usually found there. Passing +through this room, you enter a passage with doors on its four sides: +that on the left, which is kept fastened on the inside, leads to the +staircase and gate; that in front, to private sick-rooms soon to be +described. + +7th. That on the right leads to another, appropriated to nuns suffering +with the most loathsome disease. There were usually a number of straw +mattresses, in that room, as I well knew, having helped to carry them in +after the yard-man had filled them. A door beyond enters into a store- +room, which extends also beyond this apartment. On the right, another +door opens into another passage; crossing which, you enter by a door-- + +8th. A room with a bed and screen in one corner, on which nuns were laid +to be examined before their introduction into the sick-room last +mentioned. Another door, opposite the former, opens into a passage, in +which is a staircase leading down. + +9th. Beyond this is a spare-room, sometimes used to store apples, boxes +of different things, &c. + +10th. Returning now to the passage which opens on one side upon the +stairs to the gate, we enter the only remaining door, which leads into +an apartment usually occupied by some of the old nuns, and frequently by +the Superior. + +11th, and 12th. Beyond this are two more sick-rooms, in one of which +those nuns stay who are waiting their accouchment, and in the other, +those who have passed it. + +13th. The next is a small sitting-room, where a priest waits to baptize +the infants previous to their murder. A passage leads from this room, on +the left, by the doors of two succeeding apartments, neither of which +have I ever entered. + +14th. The first of them is the "holy retreat," or room occupied by the +priests, while suffering the penalty of their licentiousness. + +15th. The other is a sitting-room, to which they have access. Beyond +these the passage leads to two rooms, containing closets for the storage +of various articles, and two others where persons are received who come +on business. + +The public hospitals succeed, and extend a considerable distance, I +believe, to the extremity of the building. By a public entrance in that +part, priests often come into the nunnery; and I have often seen some of +them thereabouts, who must have entered by that way. Indeed, priests +often get into the "holy retreat" without exposing themselves to the +view of persons in other parts of the Convent, and have been first known +to be there, by the yard-man being sent to the Seminary for their +clothes. + +The Congregational Nunnery was founded by a nun called Sister +Bourgeoise. She taught a school in Montreal, and left property for the +foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept, +under the nunnery, in an iron chest, which has been shown to me, with +the assurance that it continues in perfect preservation, although she +has been dead more than one hundred and fifty years. In the chapel is +the following inscription: "Soeur Bourgeoise, Fondatrice du Couvent"-- +Sister Bourgeoise, Founder of the Convent. + +Nothing was more common than for the Superior to step hastily into our +community-rooms, while numbers of us were assembled there, and hastily +communicate her wishes in words like these:-- + +"Here are the parents of such a novice: come with me, and bear me out in +this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of +falsehoods, she had just invented, that we might be prepared to +fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else might favor the +deception. This was justified, and indeed most highly commended, by the +system of faith in which we were instructed. + +It was a common remark made at the initiation of a new nun into the +Black nun department, that is, to receive the black veil, that the +introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, caused +the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on +account of the singular disappearance of some of the older nuns at the +entrance of new ones! + +To witness the scenes which often occurred between us and strangers, +would have struck a person very powerfully, if he had known how truth +was set at naught. The Superior, with a serious and dignified air, and a +pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most +favorable to the character of the absent novice, and representing her as +equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The +tale told by the Superior, whatever it was, however unheard before, +might have been any of her statements, was then attested by us, who, in +every way we could think of, endeavored to confirm her declarations, +beyond the reach of doubt. + +Sometimes the Superior would intrust the management of such a case to +some of the nuns, whether to habituate us to the practice in which she +was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have +been a serious burden to most other persons, or to ascertain whether she +could depend upon us, or all together, I cannot tell. Often, however, +have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried manner, "Who +can tell the best story?" + +One point, on which we received frequent and particular, instructions +was, the nature of falsehoods. On this subject I have heard many a +speech, I had almost said many a sermon; and I was led to believe that +it was one of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well +informed, as well as to act. "What!" exclaimed a priest one day--"what, +a nun of your age, and not know the difference between a wicked and a +religious lie!" + +He then went on, as had been done many times previously in my hearing, +to show the essential difference between the two different kinds of +falsehoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own +interest alone, or for no object at all, he painted as a sin worthy of +penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or Convent, was +meritorious, and of course the telling of it a duty. And of this class +of lies there were many varieties and shades. This doctrine has been +inculcated on me and my companions in the nunnery, more times than I can +enumerate: and to say that it was generally received, would be to tell a +part of the truth. We often saw the practice of it, and were frequently +made to take part in it. Whenever anything which the Superior thought +important, could be most conveniently accomplished by falsehood, she +resorted to it without scruple. + +There was a class of cases in which she more frequently relied on +deception than any other. + +The friends of the novices frequently applied at the Convent to see +them, or at least to inquire after their welfare. It was common for them +to be politely refused an interview, on some account or other, generally +a mere pretext; and then the Superior usually sought to make as +favorable an impression as possible on the visitors. Sometimes she would +make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers; requiring some of +us to confirm it, in the most convincing way we could. + +At other times she would prefer to make over to us the task of +deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and +success. + +Some nun usually showed her submission, by immediately stepping forward. +She would then add, perhaps, that the parents of such a novice, whom she +named, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they should be told +such, and such, and such things. To perform so difficult a task well, was +considered a difficult duty, and it was one of the most certain ways to +gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever volunteered to make a story on +the spot, was sent immediately to tell it, and the other nuns present +were hurried off with her under strict injunctions to uphold her in +every thing she might state. The Superior, as there was every reason to +believe, on all such occasions, when she did not herself appear, +hastened to the apartment adjoining that in which the nuns were going, +there to listen through the thin partition, to hear whether all +performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon for her to go rather +further, when she wanted time to give such explanations as she could +have desired. She would then enter abruptly, ask, "Who can tell a good +story this morning?" and hurry us off without a moment's delay, to do +our best at a venture, without waiting for instructions. It would be +curious, could a stranger from "the wicked world" outside the Convent +witness such a scene. One of the nuns, who felt in a favourable humour +to undertake the proposed task, would step promptly forward, and signify +her readiness in the usual way: by a knowing wink of one eye, and slight +toss of the head. + +"Well go and do the best you can," the superior would say; "and all the +rest of you must mind and swear to it." The latter part of the order, at +least, was always performed; for in every such case, all the nuns +present appeared as unanimous witnesses of everything that was uttered +by the spokesman of the day. + +We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look +upon ourselves as our own; but must remember, that we were solemnly and +irrevocably devoted to God. Whatever was required of us, we were called +upon to yield under the most solemn considerations. I cannot speak on +every particular with equal freedom: but I wish my readers clearly +to understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used +to reduce us to what we had to submit to. Not only were we required to +perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers, and +penances, under the idea that we were performing solemn duties to our +Maker, but every thing else which was required of us, we were constantly +told, was something indispensable in his sight. The priests, we admitted +were the servants of God, specially appointed by his authority, to teach +us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and to lead us to heaven. Without +their assistance, we had allowed we could never enjoy the favour of God; +unless they administered the sacraments to us, we could not enjoy +everlasting happiness. Having consented to acknowledge all this, we had +no other objection to urge against admitting any other demand that might +be made for or by them. If we thought an act ever so criminal, the +Superior would tell us that the priests acted under the direct sanction +of God, and _could not sin_. Of course, then, it could not be wrong +to comply with any of their requests, because they could not demand any +thing but what was right. On the contrary, to refuse to do any thing +they asked, would necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines admitted, and +such practices performed, it will not seem wonderful when I mention that +we often felt something of their preposterous character. + +Sometimes we took a pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes +of our teachers; and I recollect one subject particularly, which at one +period afforded us repeated merriment. It may seem irreverent in me to +give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature were +sometimes treated in the Convent, by women bearing the title of saints. +A Canadian Novice, who spoke very broken English, one day remarked that +she was performing some duty "for the God." This peculiar expression had +something ridiculous to the ears of some of us; and it was soon repeated +again and again, in application to various ceremonies which we had to +perform. Mad Jane Ray seized upon it with avidity, and with her aid it +soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so that we were +constantly reminding each other, that we were doing this and that thing, +how trifling and unmeaning soever, "for the God." Nor did we stop here: +when the superior called upon us to bear witness to one of her religious +lies, or to fabricate the most spurious one the time would admit; to +save her the trouble, we were sure to be reminded, on our way to the +strangers' room, that we were doing it "for the God." And so it was when +other things were mentioned--every thing which belonged to our +condition, was spoken of in similar terms. + +I have hardly detained the reader long enough on the subject, to give +him a just impression of the stress laid on confession. It is one of the +great points to which our attention was constantly directed. We were +directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts; to have +continually before our minds the rules of the Convent, to compare the +one with the other, remember every devotion, and tell all, even the +smallest, at confession, either to the Superior or to the priest. My +mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity, which proved very +wearisome; and it required the constant exertion of our teachers, to +keep us up to the practice they inculcated. + +Another tale recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us to +make us feel the importance of unreserved confession. A nun of our +Convent, who had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and +without any one to confess her. Her sisters assembled to pray for the +peace of her soul, when she appeared, and informed them, that it would +be of no use, but rather troublesome to her, as her pardon was +impossible. [Footnote: Since the first edition, I have found this tale +related in a Romish book, as one of very ancient date. It was told to us +as having taken place in our Convent.] The doctrine is, that prayers +made for souls guilty of unconfessed sin, do but sink them deeper in +hell; and this is the reason I have heard given for not praying for +Protestants. + +The authority of the priests in everything, and the enormity of every +act which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds, in various +ways, by our teachers. A "Father" told us the following story one day at +catechism. + +A man once died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had +asked of him; he was condemned to be burnt in purgatory until he should +pay it but had permission to come back to this world, and take a human +body to work in. He made his appearance therefore again on earth, and +hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day with the +fire burning in him, unseen by other people; but while he was in bed +that night, a girl in an adjoining room, perceiving the smell of +brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with +flames. She informed his master, who questioned him the next morning, +and found that his hired man was secretly suffering the pains of +purgatory, for neglecting to pay a certain sum of money to the priest. +He, therefore furnished him the amount due; it was paid, and the servant +went off immediately to heaven. The priest cannot forgive any debt due +unto him, because it is the Lord's estate. + +While at confession, I was urged to hide nothing from the priest, and +have been told by them, that they already knew what was in my heart, but +would not tell, because it was necessary for me to confess it. I really +believed that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts; and often +stood in great awe of them. They often told me they had power to strike +me dead at any moment. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the Cellar-- +Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's Instructions-- +Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the Nunnery--Opinions +expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of the Scriptures. + + +I found that I had several namesakes among the nuns, for there were two +others who already bore my new name, Saint Eustace. This was not a +solitary case, for there were five Saint Marys, and three Saint Monros, +besides two novices of that name. Of my namesakes I have little to say, +for they resembled most of the nuns; being so much cut off from +intercourse with me and the other sisters, that I never saw anything in +them, nor learnt any thing about them, worth mentioning. + +Several of my new companions were squaws, who had taken the veil at +different times. They were from some of the Indian settlements in the +country, but were not distinguishable by any striking habits of +character from other nuns, and were generally not very different in +their appearance when in their usual dress, and engaged in their +customary occupations. It was evident, that they were treated with much +kindness and lenity by the Superior and the old nuns; and this I +discovered was done in order to render them as well contented and happy +in their situation as possible. I should have attributed the motives for +this partiality to their wishing that they might not influence others to +keep away, had I not known they were, like ourselves, unable to exert +such an influence. And therefore, I could not satisfy my own mind why +this difference was made. Many of the Indians were remarkably devoted to +the priests, believing every thing they were taught; and as it is +represented to be not only a high honor, but a real advantage to a +family, to have one of its members become a nun, Indian parents will +often pay large sums of money for the admission of their daughters into +a convent. The father of one of the squaws, I was told, paid to the +Superior nearly her weight in silver on her reception, although he was +obliged to sell nearly all his property to raise the money. This he did +voluntarily, because he thought himself overpaid by having the advantage +of her prayers, self-sacrifices, &c. for himself and the remainder of +his family. The squaws sometimes served to amuse us; for when we were +partially dispirited or gloomy, the Superior would occasionally send +them to dress themselves in their Indian garments, which usually excited +us to merriment. + +Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly remember, was one of the Sainte +Hypolites, not the one who figured in a dreadful scene, described in +another part of this narrative, but a woman of a far more mild and +humane character. + +Three or four days after my reception, the Superior sent me into the +cellar for coal; and after she had given me directions, I proceeded down +a staircase, with a lamp in my hand. I soon found myself upon the bare +earth, in a spacious place, so dark, that I could not at once +distinguish its form, or size, but I observed that it had very solid +stone walls, and was arched overhead, at no great elevation. Following +my directions, I proceeded onward from the foot of the stairs, where +appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen paces, +I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large iron bolts +on the outside, pushed into posts of stone-work, and each having a small +opening above, covered with a fine grating, secured by a smaller bolt. +On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these, and placed +opposite them. + +Beyond these, the space became broader; the doors evidently closed small +compartments, projecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I soon +stepped upon a wooden floor, on which were heaps of wool, coarse linen, +and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional use. I +soon crossed the floor, and found the bare earth again under my feet. + +A little farther on, I found the cellar again contracted in size, by a +row of closets, or smaller compartments projecting on each side. These +were closed by doors of a different description from the first, having a +simple fastening, and no opening through them. Just beyond, on the left +side, I passed a staircase leading up, and then three doors, much +resembling those first described, standing opposite three more, on the +other side of the cellar. Having passed these, I found the cellar +enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some +whitish substance, which attracted my attention. + +As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface looked +almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a hole dug +so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I stopped to +observe it.--It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet across; in +the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of curb, so that +one might easily have walked into it, in the dark. + +The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the +surface around it; and lay in such quantities on all sides, that it +seemed as if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It +immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that +this must be the place where the infants were buried, after being +murdered, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that lime is often +used by Roman Catholics in burying-places; and in this way I accounted +for its being scattered about the spot in such quantities. + +This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it affected +me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things in the +Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from feeling as I +should formerly have done in similar circumstances. + +I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true, +about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place, +but with recollections also of the declarations which I had heard, about +the favor done their souls by sending them straight to heaven, and the +necessary virtue accompanying all the actions of the priests. + +Whether I noticed them or not, at the time, there is a window or two on +each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown articles +brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent. Through the +windows on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the cross +street, lime is received from carts; and I then saw a large heap of it +near the place. + +Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on each +side, with three cells like those I first described.--Beyond them, in +another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetables, and other +things, on the right; and on the left I found the charcoal I was in +search of. This was placed in a heap against the wall, as I might then +have observed, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is +thrown in. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated. + +The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at different +heights, for the earth on the bottom is uneven, and in some places +several feet higher than in others. + +Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent, +especially after the discovery I had made, I hastened to fill my basket +with coal, and to return. + +Here then I was, in a place which I had considered as the nearest +imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds +were constantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most criminal, +and I had now found the place in which harmless infants were unfeelingly +thrown out of sight, after being murdered. + +And yet, such is the power of instruction and example, although not +satisfied, as many around me seemed to be, that all was righteous and +proper, I sometimes was half inclined to believe it, for the priests +could do no sin, and this was done by priests. + +Among the first instructions I received from the Superior, were such as +prepared me to admit priests into the nunnery from the street at +irregular hours. It is no secret, that priests enter and go out; but if +they were to be watched by any person in St. Paul's street all day long, +no irregularity might he suspected; and they might be supposed to visit +the Convent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely. + +But if a person was near the gate at midnight, he might sometimes form a +different opinion; for when a stray priest is shut out of the Seminary, +or is otherwise put to the need of seeking a lodging, he is always sure +of being admitted to the black nunnery. Nobody but a priest or the +physician can ring the bell at the sick-room door; much less can any +others gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed, +somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have been told. + +He makes himself known as a priest by a peculiar kind of hissing sound, +made by the tongue against the teeth, while they are kept closed, and +the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until +informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognizes the +signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often used +instead of yes, with the mouth closed. + +The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite +important, and taught me the signals. I had often occasion to use them; +I have been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching +in a sick room, and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I have +mentioned; then, according to my standing orders, unfastened the door, +admitted the priest, who was at liberty to go where he pleased. I will +name Mr. Bierze, from St. Denis. + +The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them, +were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are used +by the daily readers, while we were at work, and meals. These were all +furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never had +access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then +exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select. + +Le Miroir du Chrétien (Christian Mirror), History of Rome, History of +the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent), in +two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur (the Guardian Angel), L'Ange Chrétien +(the Christian Angel), Les Vies des Saints (Lives of Saints), in several +volumes, Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations between a +Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on the +articles of faith, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the former +was confuted. One large book, the name of which I have forgotten, +occupied us nine or ten months at our lectures, night and morning. +L'Instruction de la Jeunesse (the Instruction of Youth), containing much +about Convents, and the education of persons in the world, with a great +deal on confessions, &c. Examen de la Conscience, (Examination of +Conscience), is a book frequently used. + +I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day +I entered as a novice, until that on which I effected my escape. The +Catholic New Testament, commonly called the Evangile, was read to us +about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the reader what +passage to select; but we never had it in our hands to read when we +pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of in bitter terms, +as a most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands +of common people. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Manufacture of Bread and Wax Candles carried on in the Convent-- +Superstitions--Scapularies--Virgin Mary's pincushion--Her House--The +Bishop's power over fire--My Instructions to Novices--Jane Ray-- +Vacillation of feelings. + + +Large quantities of bread are made in the Black Nunnery every week, for +besides what is necessary to feed the nuns, many of the poor are +supplied. When a priest wishes to give a loaf of bread to a poor person, +he gives him an order, which is presented at the Convent. The making of +bread is therefore one of the most laborious employments in the +Institution. + +The manufacture of wax candles was another important branch of business +in the nunnery. It was carried on in a small room, on the first floor, +thence called the Ciergerie, or wax-room; _cierge_ being the French +word for a _wax candle_. I was sometimes sent to read the daily +lecture and catechism to the nuns employed there, but found it a very +unpleasant task, as the smell rising from the melted wax gave me a +sickness at the stomach. The employment was considered rather unhealthy, +and those were assigned to it who had the strongest constitutions. The +nuns who were more commonly employed in that room, were Sainte Marie, +Sainte Catharine, Sainte Charlotte, Sainte Francis, Sainte Hyacinthe, +Sainte Hypolite, and others. But with these, as with other persons in +the Convent, I was never allowed to speak, except under circumstances +before mentioned. I was sent to read, and was not allowed even to answer +the most trivial question, if one were asked me. Should a nun say, "what +o'clock is it?" I never should have dared to reply, but was required to +report her to the Superior. + +Much stress was laid on the _sainte scapulaire_, or, holy +scapulary. This is a small band of cloth or silk, formed and wrought in +a peculiar manner, to be tied around the neck by two strings, fastened +to the ends. I have made many of them, having been sometimes set to make +them in the Convent. On one side is worked a kind of double cross, +(thus, XX) and on the other I. II. S., the meaning of which I do not +exactly know. Such a band is called a scapulary, and many miracles are +attributed to its power. Children on first receiving the communion are +often presented with scapularies, which they are taught to regard with +great reverence. We were told of the wonders effected by their means, in +the addresses made to us, by priests at catechism or lectures. I will +repeat one or two of the stories which occur to me. + +A Roman Catholic servant woman, who had concealed some of her sins at +confession, acted so hypocritical a part as to make her mistress believe +her a _décote_, or a strict observer of her duty. She even imposed +upon her confessor, to such a degree, that he gave her a scapulary. +After he had given it, however, one of the saints in heaven informed him +in a vision, that the holy scapulary must not remain on the neck of so +great a sinner; and that it must be restored to the church. She lay down +that night with the scapulary round her throat, but in the morning was +found dead, with her head cut off, and the scapulary was discovered in +the church. The belief was, that the devil could not endure to have so +holy a thing on one of his servants, and had pulled so hard to get it +off, as to draw the silken thread with which it was tied, through her +neck; after which, by some divine power it was restored to the church. + +Another story was as follows. A poor Roman Catholic was once taken +prisoner by the heretics. He had a _sainte scapulaire_ on his neck, +when God seeing him in the midst of his foes, took it from his neck by a +miracle, and held it up in the air above the throng of heretics; more +than one hundred of whom were converted, by seeing it thus +supernaturally suspended. + +I had been informed by the Superior, on my first admission as a nun, +that there was a subterraneous passage, leading from the cellar of our +Convent into that of the Congregational Nunnery; but, though I had so +often visited the cellar, I had never seen it. One day, after I had been +received three or four months, I was sent to walk through it upon my +knees with another nun, as a penance. This, and other penances, were +sometimes put upon us by the priests, without any reason assigned. The +common way, indeed, was to tell us of the sin for which a penance was +imposed, but we were left many times to conjecture. Now and then the +priests would inform us at a subsequent confession, when he happened to +recollect something about it, as I thought, and not because he +reflected, or cared much about the subject. + +The nun who was with me led me through the cellar, passing to the right +of the secret burying place, and showed me the door of the subterraneous +passage, which was at the extremity towards the Congregational Nunnery. +The reasons why I had not noticed it before, I presume, were that it was +made to shut close and even with the wall, and all that part of the +cellar was whitewashed. The door, which is of wood, and square, opens +with a latch into a passage, about four feet and a half high. We +immediately got upon our knees, commenced saying the prayers required, +and began to move slowly along the dark and narrow passage. It may be +fifty or sixty feet in length; when we reached the end, we opened a +door, and found ourselves in the cellar of the Congregational Nunnery, +at some distance from the outer wall; for the covered way is carried in +towards the middle of the cellar by two low partitions covered at the +top. By the side of the door, was placed a list of names of the Black +nuns, with a slide, that might be drawn over any of them. We covered our +names in this manner, as evidence of having performed the duty assigned +us; and then returned backwards on our knees, by the way we had come. +This penance I repeatedly performed afterwards; and by this way, as I +have occasion elsewhere to mention, nuns from the Congregational +Nunnery, sometimes entered our Convent for worse purposes. + +We were frequently assured, that miracles are still performed; and pains +were taken to impress us deeply on this subject. The Superior often +spoke to us of the Virgin Mary's pincushion, the remains of which it is +pretended are preserved in the Convent, though it has crumbled quite to +dust. We regarded this relic with such veneration, that we were afraid +even to look at it, and we often heard the following story related, when +the subject was introduced. + +A priest in Jerusalem once had a vision, in which he was informed that +the house in which the Virgin had lived, should be removed from its +foundations, and transported to a distance. He did not think the +communication was from God, and therefore disregarded it; but the house +was soon after missed, which convinced him that the vision was true, and +he told where the house might be found. A picture of the house is +preserved in the Nunnery, and was sometimes shown us. There are also wax +figures of Joseph sawing wood, and Jesus as a child, picking up the +chips. We were taught to sing a little song relating to this, the chorus +of which I remember. + + "Saint Joseph charpentier, + Petit Jesus ramassait les copeaux + Pour fair bouillir la marmite." + +St. Joseph was a carpenter, little Jesus collected chips to make the pot +boil. + +I began to speak of miracles, and I recollect a story of one, about a +family in Italy saved from shipwreck by a priest, who were in +consequence converted and had two sons honoured with the priest's +office. + +I had heard before I entered the Convent, about a great fire which +destroyed a number of houses in the Quebec suburbs, and which some said +the Bishop extinguished with holy water. I once heard a Catholic and a +Protestant disputing on this subject, and when I went to the +Congregational Nunnery, I sometimes heard the children, alluding to the +same story, say at an alarm of fire, "Is it a Catholic fire? Then why +does not the Bishop run?" + +Among the topics on which the bishop addressed the nuns in the Convent +this was one. He told us the story one day, and said he could have +sooner interfered and stopped the flames, but that at last, finding they +were about to destroy too many Catholic houses, he threw holy water on +the fire, and extinguished it. I believed this, and also thought that he +was able to put out any fire, but that he never did it, except when +inspired. + +The holy water which the Bishop had consecrated, was considered much +more efficacious, than any blessed by a common priest; and this it was +which was used in the Convent in sprinkling our beds. It had virtue in +it, to keep off any evil spirits. + +Now that I was a nun, I was occasionally sent to read lectures to the +novices, as other nuns had been while I was a novice. There were but few +of us, who were thought capable of reading English well enough, and +therefore, I was more frequently sent than I might otherwise have been. +The Superior often said to me, as I was going among the novices: + +"Try to convert them--save their souls--you know you will have a higher +place in heaven for every one you convert." + +For whatever reason, Mad Jane Ray seemed to take great delight in +crossing and provoking the Superior and old nuns; and often she would +cause an interruption when it was most inconvenient and displeasing to +them. The preservation of silence was insisted upon most rigidly, and +penances of such a nature were imposed for breaking it, that it was a +constant source of uneasiness with me, to know that I might infringe the +rules in so many ways, and that inattention might at any moment subject +me to something very unpleasant. During the periods of meditation, +therefore, and those of lecture, work, and repose, I kept a strict guard +upon myself, to escape penances, as well as to avoid sin; and the +silence of the other nuns, convinced me that they were equally watchful, +and from the same motives. + +My feelings, however, varied at different times, and so did those of +many, if not all my companions, excepting the older ones, who took their +turns in watching us. We sometimes felt disposed for gaiety, and threw +off all ideas that talking was sinful, even when forbidden by the rules +of the Convent. And even when I felt that I might perhaps be doing +wrong, I reflected that confession, and certainly penance, would soon +wipe off the guilt. + +I may remark here, that I ere long found out several things, important +to be known, to a person living under such rules. One of these was, that +it was much better to confess to a priest, a sin committed against the +rules, because he would not require one of the penances I most disliked, +viz.: those which exposed of me to the observation of the nuns, or which +demanded self-debasement before them, like begging their pardon, kissing +the floor, or the Superior's feet, &c., and, besides, he as a confessor +was said to be bound to secrecy, and could not inform the Superior +against me. My conscience being as effectually unburthened by my +confession to the priest, as I had been taught to believe, I therefore +preferred not to tell my sins to any one else; and this course I found +was preferred by others for the same good reasons. + +To Jane Ray, however, it sometimes appeared to be a matter of perfect +indifference, who knew her violations of rule, or to what penances she +exposed herself. + +Often and often, while perfect silence prevailed among the nuns, at +meditation, or while nothing was to be heard except the voice of the +reader appointed for the day, no matter whose life or writings were +presented for our contemplations, Jane would break forth with some +remark or question, that would attract general attention, and often +cause a long and total interruption. Sometimes she would make some +harmless remark or inquiry aloud, as if through mere inadvertency, and +then her well-known voice, so strongly associated with every thing +singular and ridiculous, would arrest the attention of us all, and +generally incline us to smile, and even force us to laugh. The Superior +would then usually utter some hasty remonstrance, and many a time have I +heard her pronounce some penance upon her; but Jane had ever some +apology ready, or some reply calculated to irritate still farther, or to +prove to every one, that no punishment would be effectual on her. +Sometimes this singular woman would appear to be actuated by opposite +feelings and motives; for although she usually delighted in drawing +others into difficulty, and has thrown many a severe penance even upon +her greatest favourites; on other occasions she appeared totally +regardless of consequences herself, and preferred to take all the blame, +anxious only to shield others. + +I have repeatedly known her to break silence in the community, as if she +had no object, or none beyond that of causing disturbance, or exciting a +smile, and as soon as it was noticed, exclaim: "Say it's me, say it's +me!" + +Sometimes she would even expose herself to punishments in place of +another who was guilty; and thus I found it difficult fully to +understand her. In some cases she seemed decidedly out of her wits, as +the Superior and priests commonly preferred to represent her; but +generally I saw in her what prevented me from accounting her insane. + +Among her most common tricks were such as these: She gave me the name of +the "Devout English Reader," because I was often appointed to make the +lecture to the English girls; and sometimes, after taking a seat near +me, under pretence of deafness, would whisper it in my hearing, because +she knew my want of self-command when excited to laughter. Thus she +often exposed me to penances for a breach of decorum, and set me to +biting my lips, to avoid laughing outright in the midst of a solemn +lecture. "Oh! you devout English Reader!" would sometimes come upon me +suddenly from her lips, with something in it so ludicrous that I had to +exert myself to the utmost to avoid observation. + +This came so often at one time, that I grew uneasy, and told her I must +confess it, to unburden my conscience; I had not done so before, because +she would complain of me, for giving way to temptation. + +Sometimes she would pass behind us as we stood at dinner ready to sit +down, and softly moving back our chairs, leave us to fall down upon the +floor. This she repeatedly has done; and While we were laughing +together, she would spring forward, kneel to the Superior, and beg her +pardon and a penance. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Alarming Order from the Superior--Proceed to execute it--Scene in an +upper Room--Sentence of Death, and Murder--My own distress--Reports made +to friends of St. Francis. + + +But I must now come to one deed, in which I had some part, and which I +look back upon with greater horror and pain, than any occurrences in the +Convent, in which I was not the principal sufferer. It is not necessary +for me to attempt to excuse myself in this or any other case. Those who +have any disposition to judge fairly, will exercise their own judgment +in making allowances for me, under the fear and force, the commands and +examples, around me. I, therefore, shall confine myself, as usual, to +the simple narrative of facts. The time was about five months after I +took the veil; the weather was cool, perhaps in September or October. +One day, the Superior sent for me and several other nuns, to receive her +commands at a particular room. We found the Bishop and some priests with +her; and speaking in an unusual tone of fierceness and authority, she +said, "Go to the room for the Examination of Conscience, and drag Saint +Francis up-stairs." Nothing more was necessary than this unusual +command, with the tone and manner which, accompanied it, to excite in me +most gloomy anticipation. It did not strike me as strange, that St. +Francis should be in the room to which the Superior directed us. It was +an apartment to which we were often sent to prepare for the communion, +and to which we voluntarily went, whenever we felt the compunctions +which our ignorance of duty, and the misinstructions we received, +inclined us to seek relief from self-reproach. Indeed, I had seen her +there a little before. What terrified me was, first, the Superior's +angry manner, second, the expression she used, being a French term, +whose [illegible] we had learnt in the Convent, and whose meaning is rather +softened when translated into _drag_; third, the place to which we +were directed to take the interesting young nun, and the persons +assembled there as I supposed to condemn her. My fears were such, +concerning the fate that awaited her, and my horror at the idea that she +was in some way to be sacrificed, that I would have given any thing to +be allowed to stay where I was. But I feared the consequence of +disobeying the Superior, and proceeded with the rest towards the room +for the examination of conscience. + +The room to which we were to proceed from that, was in the second story, +and the place of many a scene of a shameful nature. It is sufficient for +me to say, after what I have said in other parts of this book, that +things had there occurred which made me regard the place with the +greatest disgust Saint Francis had appeared melancholy for some time. I +well knew that she had cause, for she had been repeatedly subject to +trials which I need not name--our common lot. When we reached the room +where we had been bidden to seek her, I entered the door, my companions +standing behind me, as the place was so small as hardly to hold five +persons at a time. The young nun was standing alone near the middle of +the room; she was probably about twenty, with light hair, blue eyes, and +a very fair complexion. I spoke to her in a compassionate voice, but at +the same time with such a decided manner, that she comprehended my full +meaning-- + +"Saint Francis, we are sent for you." + +Several others spoke kindly to her, but two addressed her very harshly. +The poor creature turned round with a look of meekness, and without +expressing any unwillingness or fear, without even speaking a word, +resigned herself to our hands. The tears came into my eyes. I had not a +moment's doubt that she considered her fate as sealed, and was already +beyond the fear of death. She was conducted, or rather hurried to the +staircase, which was near by, and then seized by her limbs and clothes, +and in fact almost dragged up-stairs, in the sense the Superior had +intended. I laid my own hands upon her--I took hold of her too,--more +gentle indeed than some of the rest; yet I encouraged and assisted them +in carrying her. I could not avoid it. My refusal would not have saved +her, nor prevented her being carried up; it would only have exposed me +to some severe punishment, as I believed some of my companions, would +have seized the first opportunity to complain of me. + +All the way up the staircase, Saint Francis spoke not a word, nor made +the slightest resistance. When we entered with her the room to which she +was ordered, my heart sank within me. The Bishop, the Lady Superior, and +five priests, viz. Bonin, Richards, Savage, and two others, I now +ascertained, were assembled for her trial, on some charge of great +importance. + +When we had brought our prisoner before them, Father Richards began to +question her, and she made ready but calm replies. I cannot pretend to +give a connected account of what ensued: my feelings were wrought up to +such a pitch, that I knew not what I did, nor what to do. I was under a +terrible apprehension that, if I betrayed my feelings which almost +overcame me, I should fall under the displeasure of the cold-blooded +persecutors of my poor innocent sister; and this fear on the one hand, +with the distress I felt for her on the other, rendered me almost +frantic. As soon as I entered the room, I had stepped into a corner, on +the left of the entrance, where I might partially support myself, by +leaning against the wall, between the door and window. This support was +all that prevented me from falling to the floor, for the confusion of my +thoughts was so great, that only a few of the words I heard spoken on +either side made any lasting impression upon me. I felt as if struck +with some insupportable blow; and death would not have been more +frightful to me. I am inclined to the belief, that Father Richards +wished to shield the poor prisoner from the severity of her fate, by +drawing from her expressions that might bear a favorable construction. +He asked her, among other things, if she was not sorry for what she had +been overheard to say, (for she had been betrayed by one of the nuns,) +and if she would not prefer confinement in the cells, to the punishment +which was threatened her. But the Bishop soon interrupted him, and it +was easy to perceive, that he considered her fate as sealed, and was +determined she should not escape. In reply to some of the questions put +to her, she was silent; to others I heard her voice reply that she did +not repent of words she had uttered, though they had been reported by +some of the nuns who had heard them; that she still wished to escape +from the Convent; and that she had firmly resolved to resist every +attempt to compel her to the commission of crimes which she detested. +She added, that she would rather die than cause the murder of harmless +babes. + +"That is enough, finish her!" said the Bishop. + +Two nuns instantly fell upon the young woman, and in obedience to +directions, given by the Superior, prepared to execute her sentence. + +She still maintained all the calmness and submission of a lamb. Some of +those who took part in this transaction, I believe, were as unwilling as +myself; but of others I can safely say, that I believe they delighted in +it. Their conduct certainly exhibited a most blood-thirsty spirit. But, +above all others present, and above all human fiends I ever saw, I think +Sainte Hypolite was the most diabolical. She engaged in the horrid task +with all alacrity, and assumed from choice the most revolting parts to +be performed. She seized a gag, forced it into the mouth of the poor +nun, and when it was fixed between her extended jaws, so as to keep them +open at their greatest possible distance, took hold of the straps +fastened at each end of the stick, crossed them behind the helpless head +of the victim, and drew them tight through the loop prepared, as a +fastening. + +The bed which had always stood in one part of the room, still remained +there; though the screen, which had usually been placed before it, and +was made of thick muslin, with only a crevice through which a person +behind might look out, had been folded up on its hinges in the form of a +W, and placed in a corner. On the bed the prisoner was laid with her +face upward, and then bound with cords, so that she could not move. In +an instant another bed was thrown upon her. One of the priests, named +Bonin, sprung like a fury first upon it, and stamped upon it, with all +his force. He was speedily followed by the nuns, until there were as +many upon the bed as could find room, and all did what they could, not +only to smother, but to bruise her. Some stood up and jumped upon the +poor girl with their feet, some with their knees, and others in +different ways seemed to seek how they might best beat the breath out of +her body, and mangle it, without coming in direct contact with it, or +seeing the effects of their violence. During this time, my feelings were +almost too strong to be endured. I felt stupefied, and was scarcely +conscious of what I did. Still, fear for myself remained in a sufficient +degree to induce me to some exertion, and I attempted to talk to those +who stood next, partly that I might have an excuse for turning away from +the dreadful scene. + +After the lapse of fifteen or twenty minutes, and when it was presumed +that the sufferer had been smothered, and crushed to death, Father Bonin +and the nuns ceased to trample upon her, and stepped from the bed. All +was motionless and silent beneath it. + +They then began to laugh at such inhuman thoughts as occurred to some of +them, rallying each other in the most unfeeling manner, and ridiculing +me for the feelings which I in vain endeavoured to conceal. They alluded +to the resignation of our murdered companion, and one of them tauntingly +said, "She would have made a good Catholic martyr." After spending some +moments in such conversation, one of them asked if the corpse should be +removed. The Superior said it had better remain a little while. After +waiting a short time longer, the feather-bed was taken off, the cords +unloosed, and the body taken by the nuns and dragged down stairs. I was +informed that it was taken into the cellar, and thrown unceremoniously +into the hole which I have already described, covered with a great +quantity of lime, and afterwards sprinkled with a liquid, of the +properties and name of which I am ignorant. This liquid I have seen +poured into the hole from large bottles, after the necks were broken +off, and have heard that it is used in France to prevent the effluvia +rising from cemeteries. + +I did not soon recover from the shock caused by this scene; indeed it +still recurs to me, with most gloomy impressions. The next day there was +a melancholy aspect over everything, and recreation time passed in the +dullest manner; scarcely anything was said above a whisper. + +I never heard much said afterward about Saint Francis. + +I spoke with one of the nuns, a few words, one day, but we were all +cautioned not to expose ourselves very far, and could not place much +reliance in each other. The murdered nun had been brought to her +shocking end through the treachery of one of our number, in whom she +confided. + +I never knew with certainty who had reported her remarks to the +Superior, but suspicion fastened on one, and I never could regard her +but with detestation. + +I was more inclined to blame her than some of those employed in the +execution; for there could have been no necessity for the betrayal of +her feelings. We all knew how to avoid exposing each other. + +I was often sent by the Superior to overhear what was said by novices +and nuns: when they seemed to shun her, she would say, "Go and listen, +they are speaking English;" and though I obeyed her, I never informed +her against them. If I wished to clear my conscience, I would go to a +priest, and confess, knowing that he dared not communicate what I said +to any person, and that he would not impose as heavy penances as the +Superior. + +We were always at liberty to choose another confessor when we had any +sin to confess, which we were unwilling to tell one to whom we should +otherwise have gone. + +Not long after the murder just related, a young woman came to the +nunnery, and asked for permission to see Saint Francis. It was my former +friend, with whom I had been an assistant teacher, Miss Louise Bousquet, +of St. Denis. From this, I supposed the murdered nun might have come +from that town, or its vicinity. The only answer returned to the inquiry +was, that Saint Francis was dead. + +Some time afterward, some of St. Francis' friends called to inquire +after her, and they were told that she had died a glorious death; and +further told, that she made some heavenly expressions, which were +repeated in order to satisfy her friends. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +Description of the Room of the Three States, and the pictures in it-- +Jane Ray ridiculing Priests--Their criminal Treatment of us at +Confession--Jane Ray's Tricks with the Nuns' Aprons, Handkerchiefs, and +Nightgowns--Apples. + + +The pictures in the room of the Three States were large, and painted by +some artist who understood how to make horrible ones. They appeared to +be stuck to the walls. The light is admitted from small and high +windows, which are curtained, and is rather faint, so as to make every +thing look gloomy. The story told us was, that they were painted by an +artist to whom God had given power to represent things exactly they are +in heaven, hell, and purgatory. + +In heaven, the picture of which hangs on one side of the apartment, +multitudes of nuns and priests are put in the highest places, with the +Virgin Mary at the head, St. Peter and other saints far above the great +numbers of good Catholics of other classes, who were crowded in below. + +In purgatory are multitudes of people; and in one part, called "_The +place of lambs_," are infants who died unbaptized. "_The place of +darkness_," is that part of purgatory in which adults are collected; +and there they are surrounded with flames, waiting to be delivered by +the prayers of the living. + +In hell, the picture of which, and that of purgatory, were on the wall +opposite that of heaven, the human faces were the most horrible that can +be imagined. Persons of different descriptions were represented, with +the most distorted features, ghastly complexions, and every variety of +dreadful expression; some with wild beasts gnawing at their heads, +others furiously biting the iron bars which kept them in, with looks +which could not fail to make a spectator shudder. + +I could hardly persuade myself that the figures were not living, and the +impression they made on my feelings was powerful. I was often shown the +place where nuns go who break their vows, as a warning. It is the +hottest place in hell, and worse, in every point of view, even than that +to which Protestants are assigned; because they are not so much to be +blamed, as we were sometimes assured, as their ministers and the Bible, +by which they are perverted. + +Whenever I was shut in that room, as I was several times, I prayed for +"les âmes des fidèles trépassés:" the souls of those faithful ones who +have long been in purgatory, and have no relations living to pray for +them. + +My feelings were often of the most painful description, while I remained +alone with those frightful pictures. + +Jane Ray was once put in, and uttered the most dreadful shrieks. Some of +the old nuns proposed to the Superior to have her gagged: "No" she +replied; "go and let out that devil, she makes me sin more +than all the rest." + +Jane could not endure the place; and she afterward gave names to many of +the worst figures in the pictures. On catechism-days she would take a +seat behind a cupboard-door, where the priest could not see her, while +she faced the nuns, and would make us laugh. "You are not so attentive +to your lesson as you used to be," he would begin to say, while we were +endeavouring to suppress our laughter. + +Jane would then hold up the first letter of some priest's name, whom she +had before compared with one of the faces in "hell," and look so that we +could hardly preserve our gravity. I remember she named the wretch who +was biting at the bars of hell, with a serpent gnawing his head, with +chains and padlocks on, Father Dufresne; and she would say--"Does not he +look like him, when he comes in to Catechism with his long solemn face, +and begins his speeches with, 'My children, my hope is, you have lived +very devout lives?'" + +The first time I went to confession after taking the veil, I found +abundant evidence that the priests did not treat even that ceremony, +which is called a solemn sacrament, with respect enough to lay aside the +detestable and shameless character they so often showed on other +occasions. The confessor sometimes sat in the room of examination of +conscience, and sometimes in the Superior's room, and always alone, +except the nun who was confessing. He had a common chair placed in the +middle of the floor, and instead of being placed behind a grate, or +lattice, as in the chapel, had nothing before or around him. There were +no spectators to observe him, and of course any such thing would have +been unnecessary. + +A number of nuns usually confessed on the same day, but only one could +be admitted into the room at the time. They took their places just +without the door, on their knees, and went through the preparation +prescribed by the rules of confession; repeating certain prayers, which +always occupy a considerable time. When one was ready, she rose from her +knees, entered, and closed the door behind her; and no other one even +dared touch the latch until she came out. + +I shall not tell what was transacted at such times, under the pretence +of confessing, and receiving absolution from sin: far more guilt was +often incurred than pardoned; and crimes of a deep die were committed, +while trifling irregularities, in childish ceremonies, were treated as +serious offences. I cannot persuade myself to speak plainly on such a +subject, as I must offend the virtuous ear. I can only say, that +suspicion cannot do any injustice to the priests, because their sins +cannot be exaggerated. + +Some idea may be formed of the manner in which even such women as many +of my sister nuns were regarded the confessors, when I state, that there +was often a contest among us, to avoid entering the apartment as long as +we could, endeavouring to make each other go first, as that was what +most of us dreaded. + +During the long and tedious days, which filled up the time between the +occurrences I have mentioned, nothing, or little took place to keep up +our spirits. We were fatigued in body with labour, or with sitting, +debilitated by the long continuance of our religious exercises, and +depressed in feelings by our miserable and hopeless condition. Nothing +but the humors of mad Jane Ray, could rouse us for a moment from our +languor and melancholy. + +To mention all her devices, would require more room than is here +allowed, and a memory of almost all her words and actions for years. I +had early become a favourite with her, and had opportunity to learn more +of her character than most of the other nuns. As this may be best learnt +from hearing what she did, I will here recount a few of her tricks, just +as they happen to present themselves to my memory, without regard to the +order of time. + +She one day, in an unaccountable humour, sprinkled the floor plentifully +with holy water, which brought upon her a severe lecture from the +Superior, as might have been expected. The Superior said it was a +heinous offence; she had wasted holy water enough to save many souls +from purgatory; and what would they not give for it! She then ordered +Jane to sit in the middle of the floor, and when the priest came, he was +informed of her offence. Instead, however, of imposing one of those +penances to which she had often been subjected, but with so little +effect, he said to her, "Go to your place, Jane; we forgive you for this +time." + +I was once set to iron aprons with Jane; aprons and pocket-handkerchiefs +are the only articles of dress which are ever ironed in the Convent. As +soon as we were alone, she remarked, "Well, we are free from the rules, +while we are at this work;" and although she knew she had no reason for +saying so, she began to sing, and I soon joined her, and thus we spent +the time, while we were at work, to the neglect of the prayers we ought +to have said. + +We had no idea that we were in danger of being overheard, but it +happened that the Superior was overhead all the time, with several nuns, +who were preparing for confession: she came down and said, "How is +this?" Jane Ray coolly replied, that we had employed our time in singing +hymns, and referred to me. I was afraid to confirm so direct a +falsehood, in order to deceive the Superior, though I had often told +more injurious ones of her fabrication, or at her orders, and said very +little in reply to Jane's request. + +The Superior plainly saw the trick that was attempted, and ordered us +both to the room for the examination of conscience, where we remained +till night, without a mouthful to eat. The time was not, however, +unoccupied; I received such a lecture from Jane, as I have very seldom +heard, and she was so angry with me that we did not speak to each other +for two weeks. + +At length she found something to complain of against me, had me +subjected to a penance, which led to our begging each other's pardon, +and we became perfectly satisfied, reconciled, and as good friends as +ever. + +One of the most disgusting penances we ever had to submit to, was that +of drinking the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Nobody +could ever laugh at this penance except Jane Ray. She would pretend to +comfort us, by saying, she was sure it was better than mere plain, clear +water. + +Some of the tricks which I remember, were played by Jane with nuns' +clothes. It was a rule that the oldest aprons in use should go to the +youngest received, and the old nuns were to wear all the new ones. On +four different occasions, Jane stole into the sleeping-room at night, +and unobserved by the watch, changed a great part of the aprons, placing +them by the beds of nuns to whom they did not belong. The consequence +was, that in the morning they dressed themselves in such haste, as never +to discover the mistakes they made, until they were all ranged at +prayers; and then the ridiculous appearance which many of them cut, +disturbed the long devotions. I laugh so easily, that on such occasions, +I usually incurred a full share of penances, I generally, however, got a +new apron, when Jane played this trick; for it was part of her object, +to give the best aprons to her favourites, and put off the ragged ones +on some of the old nuns whom she most hated. + +Jane once lost her pocket-handkerchief. The penance for such an offence +is, to go without any for five weeks. For this she had no relish, and +requested me to pick one from some of the nuns on the way up-stairs. I +succeeded in getting two: this Jane said was one too many; and she +thought it dangerous for either of us to keep it, lest a search should +be made. Very soon the two nuns were complaining that they had lost +their handkerchiefs, and wondering what could have become of them, as +they were sure that they had been careful. Jane seized an opportunity, +and slipped one into a straw bed, where it remained until the bed was +emptied to be filled with new straw. + +As the winter was coming on, one year, she complained to me that we were +not as well supplied with warm night-clothes as two of the nuns she +named, whom she said she "abominated." She soon after found means to get +possession of their fine warm flannel nightgowns, one of which she gave +to me, while the other she put on at bed time. She presumed the owners +would have a secret search for them; and in the morning hid them in the +stove, after the fire had gone out, which was kindled a little before +the hour of rising, and then suffered to burn down. + +This she did every morning, taking them out at night, through the +winter. The poor nuns who owned the garments were afraid to complain of +their loss, lest they should have some penance laid on them, and nothing +was ever said about them. When the weather began to grow warm in the +spring Jane returned the nightgowns to the beds of the nuns, from whom +she had borrowed them, and they were probably as much surprised to find +them again, as they had before been at losing them. + +Jane once found an opportunity to fill her apron with a quantity of fine +apples, called _fameuses_, which came in her way, and, hastening up +to the sleeping-room, hid them under my bed. Then, coming down, she +informed me, and we agreed to apply for leave to make our elevens, as it +is called. The meaning of this is, to repeat a certain round of prayers, +for nine days in succession, to some saint we choose to address for +assistance, in becoming more charitable, affectionate or something else. +We easily obtained permission, and hastened up-stairs to begin our nine +days' feast on the apples; when, much to our surprise, they had all been +taken away, and there was no way to avoid the disagreeable fate we had +brought upon ourselves. Jane therefore began to search the beds of the +other nuns; but not finding any trace of the apples, she became doubly +vexed and stuck pins in those which belonged to her enemies. + +When bedtime came, they were much scratched in getting in bed, which +made them break silence, and that subjected them to penances. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Jane Ray's Tricks continued--The Broomstick Ghost--Sleep-walking--Salted +Cider--Changing Beds--Objects of some of her Tricks--Feigned Humility-- +Alarm--Treatment of a new Nun--A nun made by stratagem. + + +One night, Jane, who had been sweeping the sleeping-room, for a penance, +dressed up the broom-stick, when she had completed her work, with a +white cloth on the end, so tied as to resemble an old woman dressed in +white, with long arms sticking out. This she stuck through a broken pane +of glass, and placed it so that it appeared to be looking in at the +window, by the font of holy water. There it remained until the nuns came +up to bed. The first who stopped at the font, to dip her finger in, +caught a glimpse of the singular object, and started with terror. The +next was equally terrified, as she approached, and the next and the +next. + +We all believed in ghosts; and it was not wonderful that such an object +should cause alarm, especially as it was but a short time after the +death of one of the nuns. Thus they went on, each getting a fright in +turn, yet all afraid to speak. At length, one more alarmed, or with less +presence of mind than the rest, exclaimed, "Oh, mon Dieu! Je ne me +coucherais pas!" When the night-watch called out, "Who's that?" she +confessed she had broken silence, but pointed at the cause; and then, +all the nuns assembling at a distance from the window, Jane offered to +advance boldly, and ascertain the nature of the apparition, which they +thought a most resolute intention. We all stood looking on, when she +stepped to the window, drew in the broomstick, and showed us the +ridiculous puppet, which had alarmed so many superstitious fears. + +Some of her greatest feats she performed as a sleep walker. Whether she +ever walked in her sleep or not, I am unable with certainty, to say. She +however often imposed upon the Superior and old nuns, by making them +think so, when I knew she did not; and yet, I cannot positively say that +she always did. I have remarked, that one of the old nuns was always +placed in our sleeping-room at night, to watch us. Sometimes she would +be inattentive, and sometimes fall into a doze. Jane Ray often seized +such times to rise from her bed, and walk about, occasionally seizing +one of the nuns in bed, in order to frighten her. This she generally +affected; and many times we have all been awakened, by screams of +terror. In our alarm, some of us frequently broke silence, and gave +occasion to the Superior to lay us under penances. Many tunes, however, +we escaped with a mere reprimand, while Jane usually received +expressions of compassion:--"Poor creature! she would not do so if she +were in perfect possession of her reason." And Jane displayed her +customary artfulness, in keeping up the false impression. As soon as she +perceived that the old nun was likely to observe her, she would throw +her arms about, or appear unconscious of what she was doing, falling +upon a bed, or standing stock-still, until exertions had been made to +rouse her from her supposed lethargy. + +We were once allowed to drink cider at dinner, which was quite an +extraordinary favour. Jane, however, on account of her negligence of all +work, was denied the privilege, which she much resented. The next day +when dinner arrived, we began to taste our new drink, but it was so salt +we could not swallow it. Those of us who at first discovered it, were, +as usual, afraid to speak; but we set down our cups, and looked round, +till the others made the same discovery, which they all soon did, and +most of them in the same manner. Some, however, at length, taken by +surprise, uttered some ludicrous exclamation, on tasting the salted +cider, and then an old nun, looking cross, would cry out:-- + +"Ah! tu casses la silence!" (Ah! you've broken silence.) + +And thus we soon got a-laughing, beyond our power of suppressing it. At +recreation, that day, the first question asked by many of us, was, "How +did you like your cider?" + +Jane Ray never had a fixed place to sleep in. When the weather began to +grow warm in the spring, she usually pushed some bed out of its place, +near a window, and put her own beside it; and when the winter +approached, she would choose a spot near the stove, and occupy it with +her bed, in spite of all remonstrance. We were all convinced that it was +generally best to yield to her. + +She was often set to work, in different ways; but, whenever she was +dissatisfied with doing any thing, would devise some trick that would +make the Superior, or old nuns, drive her off; and whenever any +suspicion was expressed, of her being in her right mind, she would say, +that she did not know what she was doing; that all the difficulty arose +from her repeating prayers too much, which wearied and distracted her +mind. + +I was once directed to assist Jane Ray, in shifting the beds of the +nuns. When we came to those of some of the sisters, whom she most +disliked, she said, now we will pay them for some of the penances we +have suffered on their account; and taking some thistles, she mixed them +with the straw. At night, the first of them who got into bed, felt the +thistles, and cried out. The night-watch exclaimed, as usual, "You are +breaking silence there." And then another screamed, as she was scratched +by the thistles and another. The old nun then called on all who had +broken silence to rise, and ordered them to sleep under their beds, as a +penance, which they silently complied with. Jane and I afterward +confessed, when it was all over, and took some trifling penance which +the priest imposed. + +Those nuns who fell most under the displeasure of mad Jane Ray, as I +have intimated before, were those who had the reputation of being most +ready to inform of the trifling faults of others and especially those +who acted without any regard to honour, by disclosing what they had +pretended to listen to in confidence. Several of the worst tempered +"saints" she held in abhorrence; and I have heard her say, that such and +such, she abominated. Many a trick did she play upon these, some of +which were painful to them in their consequences, and a good number of +them have never been traced to this day. Of all the nuns, however, none +other was regarded by her with so much detestation as Saint Hypolite; +for she was always believed to have betrayed Saint Francis, and to have +caused her murder. She was looked upon by us as the voluntary cause of +her death, and of the crime which those of us committed, who, +unwillingly, took part in her execution. We, on the contrary, being +under the worst of fears for ourselves, in case of refusing to obey our +masters and mistress, thought ourselves chargeable with less guilt, as +unwilling assistants in a scene, which it was impossible for us to +prevent or delay. Jane has often spoken to me of the suspected informer, +and always in terms of the greatest bitterness. + +The Superior sometimes expressed commiseration for mad Jane Ray, but I +never could tell whether she really believed her insane or not. I was +always inclined to think that she was willing to put up with some of her +tricks, because they served to divert our minds from the painful and +depressing circumstances in which we were placed. I knew the Superior's +powers and habits of deception also, and that she would deceive us as +willingly as any one else. + +Sometimes she proposed to send Jane to St. Anne's, a place near Quebec, +celebrated for the pilgrimages made to it by persons differently +afflicted. It is supposed that some peculiar virtue exists there, which +will restore health to the sick; and I have heard stories told in +corroboration of the common belief. Many lame and blind persons, with +others, visit St. Anne's every year, some of whom may be seen travelling +on foot, and begging their food. The Superior would sometimes say that +it was a pity that a woman like Jane Ray, capable of being so useful, +should be unable to do her duties in consequence of a malady which she +thought might be cured by a visit to St Anne's. + +Yet to St. Anne's Jane never was sent, and her wild and various tricks +continued as before. The rules of silence, which the others were so +scrupulous in observing, she set at naught every hour; and as for other +rules, she regarded them with as little respect when they stood in her +way. She would now and then step out and stop the clock by which our +exercises were regulated, and sometimes, in this manner, lengthened out +our recreations till near twelve. At last the old nuns began to watch +against such a trick, and would occasionally go out to see if the clock +was going. + +She once made a request that she might not eat with the other nuns, +which was granted, as it seemed to proceed from a spirit of genuine +humility, which made her regard herself as unworthy of our society. + +It being most convenient, she was sent to the Superior's table to make +her meals after her; and it did not at first occur to the Superior, that +Jane, in this manner, profited by the change, by getting much better +food than the rest of us. Thus there seemed to be always something +deeper than anybody at first suspected, at the bottom of everything she +did. + +She was once directed to sweep a community-room, under the sleeping- +chamber. This office had before been assigned to the other nuns, as a +penance; but the Superior, considering that Jane Ray did little or +nothing, determined thus to furnish her with some employment. + +She declared to us that she would not sweep it long, as we might soon be +assured. It happened that the stove by which that community-room was +warmed in the winter, had its pipe carried through the floor of our +sleeping-chamber, and thence across it, in a direction opposite that in +which the pipe of our stove was carried. It being then warm weather, the +first-mentioned pipe had been taken down, and the hole left unstopped. +After we had all retired to our beds, and while engaged in our silent +prayers, we were suddenly alarmed by a bright blaze of fire, which burst +from the hole in the floor, and threw sparks all around us. We thought +the building was burning, and uttered cries of terror regardless of the +penances, the fear of which generally kept us silent. + +The utmost confusion prevailed; for although we had solemnly vowed never +to flee from the Convent even if it was on fire, we were extremely +alarmed, and could not repress our feelings. We soon learnt the cause, +for the flames ceased in a moment or two, and it was found that mad Jane +Ray, after sweeping a little in the room beneath, had stuck a quantity +of wet powder on the end of her broom, thrust it up through the hole in +the ceiling into our apartment, and with a lighted paper set it on fire. + +The date of this alarm I must refer to a time soon after that of the +election riots, for I recollect that she found means to get possession +of some of the powder which was prepared at that time, for an emergency +to which some thought the Convent was exposed. + +She once asked for pen and paper, and when the Superior told her that if +she wrote to her friends she must see it, she replied, that it was for +no such purpose; she wanted to write her confession, and thus make it +once for all. She wrote it, handed it to the priest, and he gave it to +the Superior, who read it to us. It was full of offences which she had +never committed, evidently written to throw ridicule on confessions, and +one of the most ludicrous productions I ever saw. + +Our bedsteads were made with narrow boards laid across them, on which +the beds were laid. One day, while we were in the bedchamber together, +she proposed that we should misplace these boards. This was done, so +that at night nearly a dozen nuns fell down upon the floor on getting +into bed. A good deal of confusion naturally ensued, but the authors +were not discovered. I was so conscience-stricken, however, that a week +afterward, while we examined our consciences together, I told her I must +confess the sin the next day. She replied, "Do as you like, but you will +be sorry for it." + +The next day, when we came before the Superior, I was just going to +kneel and confess, when Jane, almost without giving me time to shut the +door, threw herself at the Superior's feet, and confessed the trick, and +a penance was immediately laid on me for the sin I had concealed. + +There was an old nun, who was a famous talker, whom used to call La +Mère, (Mother). One night, Jane Ray got up, and secretly changed the +caps of several of the nuns, and hers among the rest. In the morning +there was great confusion, and such a scene as seldom occurred. She was +severely blamed by La Mère, having been informed against by some of the +nuns; and at last became so much enraged, that she attacked the old +woman, and even took her by the throat. La Mère called on all present to +come to her assistance, and several nuns interfered. Jane seized the +opportunity afforded in the confusion to beat some of her worst enemies +quite severely, and afterwards said, that she had intended to kill some +of the rascally informers. + +For a time Jane made us laugh so much at prayers, that the Superior +forbade her going down with us to morning prayers, and she took the +opportunity to sleep in the morning. When this was found out, she was +forbidden to get into her bed again after leaving it, and then she would +creep under it and take a nap on the floor. This she told us of one day, +but threatened us if we ever betrayed her. At length, she was missed at +breakfast, as she would sometimes oversleep herself, and the Superior +began to be more strict, and always inquired, in the morning whether +Jane Ray was in her place. When the question was general, none of us +answered; but when it was addressed to some nun near her by name, as, +"Saint Eustace, is Jane Ray in her place?" then we had to reply. + +Of all the scenes that occurred during my stay in the Convent, there was +none which excited the delight of Jane more than one which took place in +the chapel one day at mass, though I never had any particular reason to +suppose that she had brought it about. + +Some person, unknown to me to this day, had put some substance or other, +of a most nauseous smell, into the hat of a little boy, who attended at +the altar, and he, without observing the trick, put it upon his head. In +the midst of the ceremonies he approached some of the nuns, who were +almost suffocated with the odour; and as he occasionally moved from +place to place some of them began to beckon to him to stand further off, +and to hold their noses, with looks of disgust. The boy was quite +unconscious of the cause of the difficulty, and paid them no attention; +but the confusion soon became so great, through the distress of some, +and the laughing of others, that the Superior noticed the circumstance, +and beckoned to the boy to withdraw. All attempts, however, to engage us +in any work, prayer, or meditation, were found ineffectual. Whenever the +circumstances in the chapel came to mind, we would laugh out. We had got +into such a state, that we could not easily restrain ourselves. The +Superior, yielding to necessity, allowed us recreation for the whole +day. + +The Superior used sometimes to send Jane to instruct the novices in +their English prayers. She would proceed to her task with all +seriousness; but sometimes chose the most ridiculous, as well as +irreverent passages, from songs, and other things, which she had before +somewhere learnt, which would set us, who understood her, laughing. One +of her rhymes, I recollect, began with: + + "The Lord of love, look from above, + Upon this turkey hen." + +Jane for a time slept opposite me, and often in the night would rise, +unobserved, and slip into my bed, to talk with me, which she did in a +low whisper, and return again with equal caution. + +She would tell me of the tricks she had played, and such as she +meditated, and sometimes make me laugh so loud, that I had much to do in +the morning with begging pardons, and doing penances. + +One winter's day, she was sent to light a fire; but after she had done +so, remarked privately to some of us: "My fingers were too cold--you'll +see if I do it again." The next day, there was a great stir in the +house, because it was said that mad Jane Ray had been seized with a fit +while making a fire, and she was taken up apparently insensible, and +conveyed to her bed. She complained to me, who visited her in the course +of the day, that she was likely to starve, as food was denied her; and I +was persuaded to pin a stocking under my dress, and secretly put food +into it from the table. This I afterward carried to her and relieved her +wants. + +One of the things which I blamed Jane most for, was a disposition to +quarrel with any nun who seemed to be winning the favour of the +Superior. She would never rest until she had brought such a one into +some difficulty. + +We were allowed but little soap; and Jane, when she found her supply +nearly gone, would take the first piece she could find. One day there +was a general search made for a large piece that was missed; when, soon +after I had been searched, Jane Ray passed me and slipped it into my +pocket; she was soon after searched herself and then secretly came for +it again. + +While I recall these particulars of our nunnery, and refer so often to +the conduct and language of one of the nuns, I cannot speak of some +things which I believed or suspected, on account of my want of +sufficient knowledge. But it is a pity you have not Jane Ray for a +witness; she knows many things of which I am ignorant. She must he in +possession of facts that should be known. Her long residence in the +Convent, her habits of roaming about it, and of observing every thing, +must have made her acquainted with things which would be heard with +interest. I always felt as if she knew everything. She would often go +and listen, or look through the cracks into the Superior's room, while +any of the priests were closeted with her, and sometimes would come and +tell me what she witnessed. I felt myself bound to confess in such +cases, and always did so. + +She knew, however, that I only told it to the priest or to the Superior, +and without mentioning the name of my informant, which I was at liberty +to withhold, so that she was not found out. I often said to her, "Don't +tell me, Jane, for I must confess it." She would reply: + +"It is better for you to confess it than for me." I thus became, even +against my will, informed of scenes, supposed by the actors of them to +be secret. + +Jane Ray once persuaded me to accompany her into the Superior's room, to +hide with her under the sofa, and await the appearance of a visitor whom +she expected, that we might overhear what passed between them. We had +been long concealed, when the Superior came in alone and sat for some +time, when fearing she might detect us in the stillness which prevailed, +we began to repent of our temerity. At length however, she suddenly +withdrew, and thus afforded us a welcome opportunity to escape. + +I was passing one day through a part of the cellar, where I had not +often occasion to go, when the toe of my shoe hit something. I tripped +and fell down. I rose again, and holding my lamp to see what had caused +my fall, I found an iron ring, fastened to a small square trapdoor. +This I had the curiosity to raise, and saw four or five steps leading +down, but there was not light enough to see more, and I feared to be +noticed by somebody and reported to the Superior; so closing the door +again, I left the spot. At first, I could not imagine the use for such a +passage; but it afterward occurred to me, that this might open to the +subterranean passage to the Seminary, for I never before could account +for the appearance of many of the priests, who often appeared and +disappeared among us, particularly at night, when I knew the gates were +closed. They could, as I now saw, come up to the door of the Superior's +room at any hour, then up the stairs into our sleeping-room, or where +they chose. And often they were in our beds before us. + +I afterward ascertained that my conjectures were correct, and that a +secret communication was kept up, in this manner, between the two +institutions, at the end towards Notre Dame-street, at a considerable +depth under ground. I often afterward, met priests in the cellar, when +sent there for coal and other articles, as they had to pass up and down +the common cellar stairs on their way. + +My wearisome daily prayers and labours, my pain of body, and depression +of mind which were so much increased by penances I had suffered, and +those which I constantly feared, and the feelings of shame, remorse, and +horror, which sometimes arose, brought me into a state which I cannot +describe. + +In the first place, my frame was enfeebled by the uneasy postures I was +required to keep for so long a time during prayers. This alone I thought +was sufficient to undermine my health and destroy my life. An hour and a +half every morning I had to sit on the floor of the community-room, with +my feet under me, my body bent forward, and my head hanging on one side +--in a posture expressive of great humility, it is true, but very +fatiguing to keep for such an unreasonable length of time. Often I found +it impossible to avoid falling asleep in this posture, which I could do +without detection, by bending a little lower than usually. The signal to +rise, or the noise made by the rising of the other nuns, then woke me, +and I got up with the rest unobserved. + +Before we took the posture just described, we had to kneel for a long +time without bending the body, keeping quite erect, with the exception +of the knees only, with the hands together before the breast. This I +found the most distressing attitude for me, and never assumed it without +feeling a sharp pain in my chest, which I often thought would soon lead +me to my grave--that is, to the great common receptacle for the dead, +under the chapel. And this upright kneeling posture we were obliged to +resume as soon as we rose from the half-sitting posture first mentioned; +so that I usually felt myself exhausted and near to fainting before the +conclusion of morning services. + +I found the meditations extremely tedious, and often did I sink into +sleep while we were all seated in silence on the floor. When required to +tell my meditations, as it was thought to be of no great importance what +we said, I sometimes found I had nothing to tell but a dream, and told +that, which passed off very well. + +Jane Ray appeared to be troubled still more than myself with wandering +thoughts; and when blamed for them, would reply, "I begin very well; but +directly I begin to think of some old friend of mine, and my thoughts go +a-wandering from one country to another." + +Sometimes I confessed my falling asleep; and often the priests have +talked to me about the sin of sleeping in time of meditation. At last, +one of them proposed to me to prick myself with a pin, which I have +often done, and so roused myself for a time. + +My close confinement in the Convent, and the want of opportunities to +breathe the open air, might have proved more injurious to me than they +did, had I not employed a part of my time in more active labours than +those of sewing, &c., to which I was chiefly confined. I took part +occasionally in some of the heavy work, as washing, &c. + +The events which I am now to relate, occurred about five months after my +admission into the Convent as a nun; but I cannot fix the time with +precision, as I know not of any thing which took place in the world +about the same period. The circumstance I clearly remember; but, as I +have elsewhere remarked, we were not accustomed to keep any account of +time. + +Information was given to us one day, that another novice was to be +admitted among us; and we were required to remember and mention her +often in our prayers, that she might have faithfulness in the service of +her holy spouse. No information was given us concerning her beyond this +fact: not a word about her age, name, or nation. On all similar +occasions the same course was pursued, and all that the nuns ever learnt +concerning one another was what they might discover by being together, +and which usually amounted to little or nothing. + +When the day of her admission arrived, though I did not witness the +ceremony in the chapel, it was a gratification to us all on one account, +because we were all released from labour, and enjoyed a great +recreation-day. + +Our new sister, when she was introduced to the "holy" society of us +"saints," proved to be young, of about the middle size, and very good- +looking for a Canadian; for I soon ascertained that she was one of my +own countrywomen. The Canadian females are generally not handsome. I +never learnt her name, nor any thing of her history. She had chosen +Saint Martin for her nun name. She was admitted in the morning, and +appeared melancholy all day. This I observed was always the case; and +the remarks made by others, led me to believe that they, and all they +had seen, had felt sad and miserable for a longer or shorter time. Even +the Superior, as it may be recollected, confessed to me that she had +experienced the same feelings when she was received. When bedtime +arrived, she proceeded to the chamber with the rest of us, and was +assigned a bed on the side of the room opposite my own, and a little +beyond. The nuns were all soon in bed, the usual silence ensued, and I +was making my customary mental prayer and composing myself to sleep, +when I heard the most piercing and heart-rending shrieks proceed from +our new comrade. Every nun seemed to rise as if by one impulse, for no +one could hear such sounds, especially in such total silence, without +being greatly excited. A general noise succeeded, for many voices spoke +together, uttering cries of surprise, compassion, or fear. It was in +vain for the night-watch to expect silence: for once we forgot rules and +penances, and gave vent to our feelings, and she could do nothing but +call for the Superior. Strange as it may seem, mad Jane Ray, who found +an opportunity to make herself heard for an instant, uttered an +exclamation in English, which so far from expressing any sympathy for +the sufferer, seemed to betray feelings hardened to the last degree +against conscience and shame. This caused a laugh among some of those +who understood her, and had become hardened to their own trials, and of +course in a great measure to those of others. + +I heard a man's voice mingled with the cries and shrieks of the nun. +Father Quiblier, of the Seminary, I had felt confident, was in the +Superior's room at the time when we retired; and several of the nuns +afterward assured me that it was he. The Superior soon made her +appearance, and in a harsh manner commanded silence. I heard her +threaten gagging her, and then say, "You are no better than anybody +else, and if you do not obey, you shall be sent to the cells." + +One young girl was taken into the Convent during my abode there, under +peculiar circumstances. I was acquainted with the whole affair, as I was +employed to act a part in it. + +Among the novices, was a young lady of about seventeen, the daughter of +an old rich Canadian. She had been remarkable for nothing that I know of +except the liveliness of her disposition. The Superior once expressed to +us a wish to have her take the veil, though the girl herself had never +had any such intention, that I knew of. Why the Superior wished to +receive her, I could only conjecture. One reason might have been, that +she expected to receive a considerable sum from her father. She was, +however, strongly desirous of having the girl in our community, and one +day said: "Let us take her in by a trick, and tell the old man she felt +too humble to take the veil in public." + +Our plans then being laid, the unsuspecting girl was induced by us, in +sport, as we told her, and made her believe, to put on such a splendid +robe as I had worn on my admission, and to pass through some of the +ceremonies of taking the veil. After this, she was seriously informed, +that she was considered as having entered the Convent in earnest, and +must henceforth bury herself to the world, as she would never be allowed +to leave it. We put on her a nun's dress, though she wept, and refused, +and expressed the greatest repugnance. The Superior threatened, and +promised, and flattered, by turns, until the poor girl had to submit; +but her appearance long showed that she was a nun only by compulsion. + +In obedience to the directions of the Superior, we exerted ourselves to +make her contented, especially when she was first received, when we got +round her, and told her we had felt so for a time, but having since +become acquainted with the happiness of a nun's life, were perfectly +content and would never be willing to leave the Convent. An exception +seemed to be made in her favor, in one respect: for I believe no +criminal attempt was made upon her, until she had been some time an +inmate of the nunnery. + +Soon after her reception, or rather her forcible entry into the Convent, +her father called to make inquiry about his daughter. The Superior first +spoke with him herself, and then called us to repeat her plausible +story, which I did with accuracy. If I had wished to say any thing else, +I never should have dared. + +We told the foolish old man, that his daughter, whom we all loved, had +long desired to become a Nun, but had been too humble to wish to appear +before spectators, and had, at her own desire, been favored with a +private admission into the community. + +The benefit conferred upon himself and his family, by this act of self- +consecration I reminded him, must be truly great and valuable; as every +family which furnishes a priest, or a nun, is justly looked upon as +receiving the peculiar favor of heaven on that account. The old Canadian +firmly believed every word I was forced to tell him, took the event as a +great blessing, and expressed the greatest readiness to pay more than +the customary fee to the Convent. After the interview, he withdrew, +promising soon to return and pay a handsome sum to the convent, which he +performed with all despatch, and the greatest cheerfulness. The poor +girl never heard that her father had taken the trouble to call to see +her, much less did she know any thing of the imposition passed upon him. +She remained in the Convent when I left it. + +The youngest girl who ever took the veil of our sisterhood, was only +fourteen years of age, and considered very pious. She lived but a short +time. I was told that she was ill-treated by the priests, and believe +her death was in consequence. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Influencing Novices--Difficulty of convincing persons from the United +States--Tale of the Bishop in the City--The Bishop in the Convent--The +Prisoners in the Cells--Practice in Singing--Narratives, Jane Ray's +Hymns, The Superior's best Trick. + + +It was considered a great duty to exert ourselves to influence novices +in favor of the Roman Catholic religion; and different nuns, were, at +different times, charged to do what they could, by conversation, to make +favourable impressions on the minds of some, who were particularly +indicated to us by the Superior. I often heard it remarked, that those +who were influenced with the greatest difficulty, were young ladies from +the United States; and on some of those, great exertions were made. + +Cases in which citizens of the States were said to have been converted +to the Roman Catholic faith, were sometimes spoken of, and always as if +they were considered highly important. + +The Bishop, as we were told, was on the public square, on the day of an +execution, when, as he said, a stranger looked at him in some peculiar +manner, which made him confidently believe God intended to have him +converted by his means. When he went home, he wrote a letter for him, +and the next day found him again in the same place, and gave him the +letter, which led to his becoming a Roman Catholic. This man, it was +added, proved to be a citizen of the States. + +The Bishop, as I have remarked, was not very dignified on all occasions, +and sometimes acted in such a manner as would not have appeared well in +public. + +One day I saw him preparing for mass; and because he had difficulty in +getting on his robe, showed evident signs of anger. One of the nuns +remarked: "The Bishop is going to perform a passionate mass." Some of +the others exclaimed: "Are you not ashamed to speak so of my lord!" And +she was rewarded with a penance. + +But it might be hoped that the Bishop would be free from the crimes of +which I have declared so many priests to have been guilty. I am far from +entertaining such charitable opinions of him; and I had good reasons, +after a time. + +I was often required to sleep on a sofa, in the room of the present +Superior, as I may have already mentioned. + +One night, not long after I was first introduced there, for that +purpose, and within the first twelve months of my wearing the veil, +having retired as usual, at about half-past nine, not long after we had +got into bed, the alarm-bell from without, which hangs over the +Superior's bed, was rung. She told me to see who was there; and going +down, I heard the signal given, which I have before mentioned, a +peculiar kind of hissing sound made through the teeth. I answered with a +low, "Hum-hum;" and then opened the door. It was Bishop Lartigue, the +present Bishop of Montreal. He said to me, "Are you a Novice or a +Received?" meaning a Received nun. I answered a "Received." + +He then requested me to conduct him to the Superior's room, which I did. +He went to the bed, drew the curtains behind him, and I lay down again +upon the sofa, until morning, when the Superior called me, at an early +hour, about daylight, and directed me to show him the door, to which I +conducted him, and he took his departure. + +I continued to visit the cellar frequently, to carry up coal for the +fires, without anything more than a general impression that there were +two nuns, somewhere imprisoned in it. One day while there on my usual +errand, I saw a nun standing on the right of the cellar, in front of one +of the cell doors I had before observed; she was apparently engaged with +something within. This attracted my attention. The door appeared to +close in a small recess, and was fastened with a stout iron bolt on the +outside, the end of which was secured by being let into a hole in the +stone-work which formed the posts. The door, which was of wood, was sank +a few inches beyond the stone-work, rose and formed an arch overhead. +Above the bolt was a window supplied with a fine grating, which swung +open, a small bolt having been removed from it, on the outside. The nun +I had observed seemed to be whispering with some person within, through +the little window: but I hastened to get my coal, and left the cellar, +presuming that was the prison. When I visited the place again, being +alone, I ventured to the spot, determined to learn the truth, presuming +that the imprisoned nuns, of whom the Superior had told me on my +admission, were confined there. I spoke at the window where I had seen +the nun standing, and heard a voice reply in a whisper. The aperture was +so small, and the place so dark, that I could see nobody; but I learnt +that a poor wretch was confined there a prisoner. I feared that I might +be discovered, and after a few words, which I thought could do no harm, +I withdrew. + +My curiosity was now alive, to learn every thing I could about so +mysterious a subject. I made a few inquiries of Saint Xavier, who only +informed me that they were punished for refusing to obey the Superior, +Bishop, and Priests. I afterward found that the other nuns were +acquainted with the fact I had just discovered. All I could learn, +however, was, that the prisoner in the cell whom I had spoken with, and +another in the cell just beyond, had been confined there several years +without having been taken out; but their names, connexions, offences, +and everything else relating to them, I could never learn, and am still +as ignorant of as ever. Some conjectured that they had refused to comply +with some of the rules of the Convent or requisitions of the Superior; +others, that they were heiresses whose property was desired for the +convent, and who would not consent to sign deeds of it. Some of the nuns +informed me, that the severest of their sufferings arose from fear of +supernatural beings. + +I often spoke with one of them in passing near their cells, when on +errands in the cellar, but never ventured to stop long, or to press my +inquiries very far. Besides, I found her reserved, and little disposed +to converse freely, a thing I could not wonder at when I considered her +situation, and the characters of persons around her. She spoke like a +woman in feeble health, and of broken spirits. I occasionally saw other +nuns speaking to them, particularly at mealtimes, when they were +regularly furnished with food, which was such as we ourselves ate. + +Their cells were occasionally cleaned and then the doors were opened. I +never looked into them, but was informed that the ground was their only +floor. I presumed that they were furnished with straw to lie upon, as I +always saw a quantity of old straw scattered about that part of the +cellar, after the cells had been cleansed. I once inquired of one of +them, whether they could converse together, and she replied that they +could, through a small opening between their cells, which I could not +see. + +I once inquired of the one I spoke with in passing, whether she wanted +anything, and she replied, "Tell Jane Ray I want to see her a moment if +she can slip away." When I went up I took an opportunity to deliver my +message to Jane, who concerted with me a signal to be used in future, in +case a similar request should be made through me. This was a sly wink at +her with one eye, accompanied with a slight toss of my head. She then +sought an opportunity to visit the cellar, and was soon able to hold an +interview with the poor prisoners, without being noticed by any one but +myself. I afterward learnt that mad Jane Ray was not so mad, but she +could feel for those miserable beings, and carry through measures for +their comfort. She would often visit them with sympathizing words, and, +when necessary, conceal part of her food while at table, and secretly +convey it into their dungeons. Sometimes we would combine for such an +object; and I have repeatedly aided her in thus obtaining a larger +supply of food than they had been able to obtain from others. + +I frequently thought of the two nuns confined in the cells, and +occasionally heard something said about them, but very little. Whenever +I visited the cellar and thought it safe, I went up to the first of them +and spoke a word or two, and usually got some brief reply, without +ascertaining that any particular change took place with either of them. +The one with whom I ever conversed, spoke English perfectly well, and +French I thought as well. I supposed she must have been well educated, +for I could not tell which was her native language. I remember that she +frequently used these words when I wished to say more to her, and which +alone showed that she was constantly afraid of punishment: "Oh, there's +somebody coming--do go away!" I have been told that the other prisoner +also spoke English. + +It was impossible for me to form any certain opinion about the size or +appearance of those two miserable creatures, for their cells were +perfectly dark, and I never caught the slightest glimpse even of their +faces. It is probable they were women not above the middle size, and my +reason for this presumption is the following: I was sometimes appointed +to lay out the clean clothes for all the nuns in the Convent on Saturday +evening, and was always directed to lay by two suits for the prisoners. +Particular orders were given to select the largest sized garments for +several tall nuns; but nothing of the kind was ever said in relation to +the clothes for those in the cells. + +I had not been long a veiled nun, before I requested of the Superior +permission to confess to the "Saint Bon Pasteur," (Holy Good Shepherd,) +that is, the mysterious and nameless nun whom I had heard of while a +novice. I knew of several others who had confessed to her at different +times, and of some who had sent their clothes to be touched by her when +they were sick; and I felt a desire to unburden my heart of certain +things, which I was loath to acknowledge to the Superior, or any of the +priests. + +The Superior made me wait a little, until she could ascertain whether +the "Saint Bon Pasteur" was ready to admit me; and after a time +returned, and told me to enter the old nuns' room. That apartment has +twelve beds, arranged like the berths of a ship by threes; and as each +is broad enough to receive two persons, twenty-four may be lodged there, +which was about the number of old nuns in the Convent during the most of +my stay in it. Near an opposite corner of the apartment was a large +glass case, with no appearance of a door, or other opening, in any part +of it: and in that case stood the venerable nun, in the dress of the +community, with her thick veil spread over her face, so as to conceal it +entirely. She was standing, for the place did not allow room for +sitting, and moved a little, which was the only sign of life, as she did +not speak. I fell upon my knees before her, and began to confess some of +my imperfections, which lay heavy upon my mind, imploring her aid and +intercession, that I might be delivered from them. She appeared to +listen to me with patience, but still never returned a word in reply. I +became much affected as I went on, and at length began to weep bitterly; +and when I withdrew, was in tears. It seemed to me that my heart was +remarkably relieved after this exercise, and all the requests I had +made, I found, as I believed, strictly fulfilled. I often, afterward, +visited the old nuns' room for the same purpose, and with similar +results, so that my belief in the sanctity of the nameless nun, and my +regard for her intercession were unbounded. + +What is remarkable, though I repeatedly was sent into that A room to +dust it, or to put it in order, I remarked that the glass case was +vacant, and no signs were to be found either of the nun or of the way by +which she had left it; so that a solemn conclusion rested upon my mind, +that she had gone on one of her frequent visits to heaven. + +A priest would sometimes come in the daytime to teach us to sing, and +this was done with some parade or stir, as if it were considered, or +meant to be considered as a thing of importance. + +The instructions, however, were entirely repetitions of the words and +tunes, nothing being taught even of the first principles of the science. +It appeared to me, that although hymns alone were sung, the exercise was +chiefly designed for our amusement, to raise our spirits a little, which +were apt to become depressed. Mad Jane Ray certainly usually treated the +whole thing as a matter of sport, and often excited those of us who +understood English to a great degree of mirth. She had a very fine +voice, which was so powerful as generally to be heard above the rest. +Sometimes she would be silent when the other nuns began; I and the +Superior would often call out, "Jane Ray, you don't sing." She always +had some trifling excuse ready, and commonly appeared unwilling to join +the rest. After being urged or commanded by the Superior, she would then +strike up some English song, or profane parody, which was rendered ten +times more ridiculous by the ignorance of the Lady Superior and the +majority of the nuns. I cannot help laughing now when I remember how she +used to stand with perfect composure and sing, + + "I wish I was married and nothing to rue, + With plenty of money and nothing to do." + +"Jane Ray, you don't sing right," the Superior would exclaim. "Oh," she +would reply, with perfect coolness, "that is the English for, + + 'Seigneur Dieu de clemence, + Reçois ce grand pécheur;'" + +and, as sung by her, a person ignorant of the language would naturally +be imposed upon. It was extremely difficult for me to conceal my +laughter. I have always had greater exertion to make in repressing it +than most other persons; and mad Jane Ray often took advantage of this. + +Saturday evening usually brought with it much unpleasant work for some +of us. We received the Sacrament every Sunday; and in preparation for +it, on Saturday evening we asked pardon of the Superior and of each +other "for the scandal we had caused since we last received the +Sacrament," and then asked the Superior's permission to receive it on +the following day. She inquired of each nun who necessarily asked her +permission, whether she, naming her as Saint somebody, had concealed any +sin that should hinder her from receiving it; and if the answer was in +the negative, she granted her permission. + +On Saturdays we were catechised by a priest, being assembled in a +community-room. He sat on the right of the door in a chair. He often +told us stories, and frequently enlarged on the duty enticing novices +into the nunnery. "Do you not feel" he would say, "now that you are +safely out of the world, sure of heaven? But remember how many poor +people are yet in the world. Every novice you influence to the black +veil, will add to your honour in heaven. Tell them how happy you are." + +The Superior played one trick while I was in the Convent, which always +passed for one of the most admirable she ever carried into execution. We +were pretty good judges in a case of this kind, for, as may be presumed, +we were rendered familiar with the arts of deception under so +accomplished a teacher. + +There was an ornament on hand in the nunnery, of an extraordinary kind, +which was prized at ten pounds; but it had been made and exposed to view +so long, that it became damaged and quite unsaleable. We were one day +visited by an old priest from the country, who was evidently somewhat +intoxicated; and as he withdrew to go to his lodgings, in the Seminary, +where the country priests often stay, the Superior conceived a plan for +disposing of the old ornament. "Come," said she, "we will send it to the +old priest, and swear he has bought it!" + +We all approved of the ingenious device, for it evidently might be +classed among the pious frauds we had so often had recommended to us +both by precept and example; and the ornament was sent to him the next +morning, as his property when paid for. He soon came to the Convent, and +expressed the greatest surprise that he had been charged with purchasing +such a thing, for which he had no need and no desire. + +The Superior heard this declaration with patience, but politely insisted +that it was a fair bargain; and we then surrounded the old priest, with +the strongest assertions that such was the fact, and that nobody would +ever have thought of his purchasing it unless he had expressly engaged +to take it. The poor old man was entirely put down. He was certain of +the truth: but what could he do: resist or disprove a direct falsehood +pronounced by the Superior of a Convent, and sworn to by all her holy +nuns? He finally expressed his conviction that we were right: he was +compelled to pay his money. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Frequency of the Priests' Visits to the Nunnery--Their Freedom and +Crimes--Difficulty of learning their Names--Their Holy Retreat-- +Objections in our minds--Means used to counteract Conscience--Ingenious +Arguments. + + +Some of the priests from the Seminary were in the nunnery every day and +night, and often several at a time. I have seen nearly all of them at +different times, though there are about one hundred and fifty in the +district of Montreal. There was a difference in their conduct; though I +believe every one of them was guilty of licentiousness; while not one +did I ever see who maintained a character any way becoming the +profession of a priest. Some were gross and degraded in a degree which +few of my readers can ever have imagined; and I should be unwilling to +offend the eye, and corrupt the heart of any one, by an account of their +words and actions. Few imaginations can conceive deeds so abominable as +they practised, and often required of some of the poor women, under the +fear of severe punishments, and even of death. I do not hesitate to say +with the strongest confidence, that although some of the nuns became +lost to every sentiment of virtue and honour, especially one from the +Congregational Nunnery whom I have before mentioned, Saint Patrick, the +greater part of them loathed the practices to which they were compelled +to submit by the Superior and priests, who kept them under so dreadful a +bondage. + +Some of the priests whom I saw I never knew by name, and the names of +others I did not learn for a time, and at last only by accident. + +They were always called "Mon père," my father; but sometimes, when they +had purchased something in the ornament-room, they would give their real +names, with directions where it should be sent. Many names, thus learnt, +and in other ways, were whispered about from nun to nun, and became +pretty generally known. Several of the priests, some of us had seen +before we entered the Convent. + +Many things of which I speak, from the nature of the case, must +necessarily rest chiefly upon my own word, until further evidence can be +obtained: but there are some facts for which I can appeal to the +knowledge of others. It is commonly known in Montreal that some of the +priests occasionally withdraw from their customary employments, and are +not to be seen for some time, it being understood that they have retired +for religious study, meditation and devotion, for the improvement of +their hearts. Sometimes they are thus withdrawn from the world for +weeks: but there is no fixed period. + +This was a fact I knew before I took the veil; for it is a frequent +subject of remark, that such or such a Father is on a "holy retreat." +This is a term which conveys the idea of a religious seclusion from the +world for sacred purposes. On the re-appearance of the priest after such +a period, in the church or the streets, it is natural to feel a peculiar +impression of his devout character--an impression very different from +that conveyed to the mind of one who knows matters as they really are. +Suspicions have been indulged by some in Canada on this subject, and +facts are known by at least a few. I am able to speak from personal +knowledge: for I have been a nun of Soeur Bourgeoise. + +The priests are liable, by their dissolute habits, to occasional attacks +of disease, which render it necessary, or at least prudent, to submit to +medical treatment. + +In the Black Nunnery they find private accommodations, for they are free +to enter one of the private hospitals whenever they please; which is a +room set apart on purpose for the accommodation of the priests, and is +called a retreat-room. But an excuse is necessary to blind the public, +and this they find is the pretence that they make of being in a "Holy +Retreat." Many such cases I have known; and I can mention the names of +priests who have been confined in this Holy Retreat. They are very +carefully attended by the Superior and old nuns, and their diet mostly +consists of vegetable soups, &c., with but little meat, and that fresh. +I have seen an instrument of surgery laying upon the table in that holy +room, which is used only for particular purposes. + +Father Tabeau, a Roman priest, was on one of his holy retreats about the +time when I left the nunnery. There are sometimes a number confined +there at the same time. The victims of these priests frequently share +the same fate. + +I have often reflected how grievously I had been deceived in my opinion +of a nun's condition! All the holiness of their lives, I now saw, was +merely pretended. The appearance of sanctity and heavenly mindedness +which they had shown among us novices, I found was only a disguise to +conceal such practices as would not be tolerated in any decent society +in the world; and as for peace and joy like that of heaven, which I had +expected to find among them, I learnt too well that they did not exist +there. + +The only way in which such thoughts were counteracted, was by the +constant instructions given us by the Superior and priests, to regard +every doubt as a mortal sin. Other faults we might have, as we were told +over and over again, which, though worthy of penances, were far less +sinful than these. For a nun to doubt that she was doing her duty in +fulfilling her vows and oaths, was a heinous offence, and we were +exhorted always to suppress our doubts, to confess them without reserve, +and cheerfully to submit to severe penances on account of them, as the +only means of mortifying our evil dispositions, and resisting the +temptations of the devil. Thus we learnt in a good degree to resist our +minds and consciences, when we felt the first rising of a question about +the duty of doing any thing required of us. + +To enforce this upon us, they employed various means. Some of the most +striking stories told us at catechism by the priests, were designed for +this end. One of these, I will repeat. One day, as a priest assured us +who was hearing us say the catechism on Saturday afternoon, as one +Monsieur ----, a well-known citizen of Montreal, was walking near the +cathedral, he saw Satan giving orders to numerous evil spirits who had +assembled around him. Being afraid of being seen, and yet wishing to +observe what was done, he hid himself where he could observe all that +passed. Satan despatched his devils to different parts of the city, with +directions to do their best for him; and they returned in a short time, +bringing in reports of their success in leading persons of different +classes to the commission of various sins, which they thought would be +agreeable to their master. Satan, however, expressed his +dissatisfaction, and ordered them out again; but just then a spirit from +the Black Nunnery came, who had not been seen before, and stated that he +had been trying for seven years to persuade one of the nuns to doubt, +and had just succeeded. Satan received the intelligence with the highest +pleasure; and turning to the spirits around him, said: "You have not +half done your work--he has done much more than all of you." + +In spite, however, of our instructions and warnings, our fears and +penances, such doubts would intrude; and I have often indulged them for +a time, and at length, yielding to the belief that I was wrong in giving +place to them, would confess them, and undergo with cheerfulness such +new penances as I was loaded with. Others too would occasionally +entertain and privately express such doubts; though we all had been most +solemnly warned by the cruel murder of Saint Francis. Occasionally some +of the nuns would go further, and resist the restraints or punishments +imposed upon them; and it was not uncommon to hear screams, sometimes of +a most piercing and terrific kind, from nuns suffering under discipline. + +Some of my readers may feel disposed to exclaim against me, for +believing things, which will strike them as so monstrous and abominable. +To such, I would say, without pretending to justify myself--You know +little of the position in which I was placed: in the first place, +ignorant of any other religions doctrines; and in the second, met at +every moment by some ingenious argument, and the example of a large +community, who received all the instructions of the priests as of +undoubted truth, and practised upon them. Of the variety and +speciousness of the arguments used, you cannot have any correct idea. +They were often so ready with replies, examples, anecdotes and +authorities, to enforce their doctrines, that it seemed to me they could +never have learnt it all from books, but must have been taught by wicked +spirits. Indeed, when I reflect upon their conversations, I am +astonished at their art and address, and find it difficult to account +for their subtlety and success in influencing my mind, and persuading me +to anything they pleased. It seems to me, that hardly anybody would be +safe in their hands. If you were to go to confession twice, I believe +you would feel very differently from what you do now. They have such a +way of avoiding one thing, and speaking of another, of affirming this, +and doubting or disputing that, of quoting authorities, and speaking of +wonders and miracles recently performed, in confirmation of what they +teach, as familiarly known to persons whom they call by name, and whom +they pretend to offer as witnesses, though they never give you an +opportunity to speak with them--these, and many other means, they use in +such away, that they always blinded my mind, and I should think, would +blind the minds of others. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Treatment of young Infants in the Convent--Talking in Sleep--Amusements +--Ceremonies at the public interment of deceased Nuns--Sudden +disappearance of the Old Superior--Introduction of the new one-- +Superstition--Alarm of a Nun--Difficulty of Communication with other +Nuns. + + +It will be recollected, that I was informed immediately after receiving +the veil, that infants were occasionally murdered in the Convent. I was +one day in the nuns' private sick room, when I had an opportunity, +unsought for, of witnessing deeds of such a nature. It was, perhaps, a +month after the death of Saint Francis. Two little twin babes, the +children of Sainte Catharine, were brought to a priest, who was in the +room, for baptism. I was present while the ceremony was performed, with +the Superior and several of the old nuns, whose names I never knew, they +being called Ma tante, Aunt. + +The priests took turns in attending to confession and catechism in the +Convent, usually three months at a time, though sometimes longer +periods. The priest then on duty was Father Larkin. He is a good-looking +European, and has a brother who is a professor in the college. He +baptized, and then put oil upon the heads of the infants, as is the +custom after baptism. They were then taken, one after another, by one of +the old nuns, in the presence of us all. She pressed her hand upon the +mouth and nose of the first, so tight that it could not breathe, and in +a few minutes, when the hand was removed, it was dead. She then took the +other, and treated it in the same way. No sound was heard, and both the +children were corpses. The greatest indifference was shown by all +present during this operation; for all, as I well knew, were long +accustomed to such scenes. The little bodies were then taken into the +cellar, thrown into the pit I have mentioned, and covered with a +quantity of lime. + +I afterward saw another new-born infant treated in the same manner, in +the same place; but the actors in the scene I choose not to name, nor +the circumstances, as everything connected with it is of a peculiarly +trying and painful nature to my own feelings. + +These were the only instances of infanticide I witnessed; and it seemed +to be merely owing to accident that I was then present. So far as I +know, there were no pains taken to preserve secrecy on this subject; +that is, I saw no attempt made to keep any of the inmates of the Convent +in ignorance of the murder of children. On the contrary, others were +told, as well as myself, on their first admission as veiled nuns, that +all infants born in the place were baptized and killed, without loss of +time; and I had been called to witness the murder of the three just +mentioned, only because I happened to be in the room at the time. + +That others were killed in the same manner during my stay in the +nunnery, I am well assured. + +How many there were I cannot tell, and having taken no account of those +I heard of, I cannot speak with precision; I believe, however, that I +learnt through nuns, that at least eighteen or twenty infants were +smothered, and secretly buried in the cellar, while I was a nun. + +One of the effects of the weariness of our bodies and minds, was our +proneness to talk in our sleep. It was both ludicrous and painful to +hear the nuns repeat their prayers in the course of the night, as they +frequently did in their dreams. Required to keep our minds continually +on the stretch, both in watching our conduct, in remembering the rules +and our prayers, under the fear of the consequences of any neglect, when +we closed our eyes in sleep, we often went over again the scenes of the +day; and it was no uncommon thing for me to hear a nun repeat one or two +of our long exercises in the dead of night. Sometimes, by the time she +had finished, another, in a different part of the room, would happen to +take a similar turn, and commence a similar recitation; and I have known +cases in which several such unconscious exercises were performed, all +within an hour or two. + +We had now and then a recreation day, when we were relieved from our +customary labor, and from all prayers except those for morning and +evening. The greater part of our time was then occupied with different +games, particularly backgammon and drafts, and in such conversation as +did not relate to our past lives, and the outside of the Convent. +Sometimes, however, our sports would be interrupted on such days by the +entrance of one of the priests, who would come in and propose that his +fete, the birth-day of his patron saint, should be kept by "the saints." +We saints! + +Several nuns died at different times while I was in the Convent; how +many I cannot say, but there was a considerable number: I might rather +say, many in proportion to the number in the nunnery. The proportion of +deaths I am sure was very large. There were always some in the nuns' +sick-rooms, and several interments took place in the chapel. When a +Black nun is dead, the corpse is dressed as if living, and placed in the +chapel in a sitting posture, within the railing round the altar, with a +book in the hand, as if reading. Persons are then freely admitted from +the street, and some of them kneel and pray before it. No particular +notoriety is given, I believe, to this exhibition out of the Convent; +but such a case usually excites some attention. + +The living nuns are required to say prayers for the delivery of their +deceased sister from purgatory, being informed, as in all other such +cases, that if she is not there, and has no need of our intercession, +our prayers are in no danger of being thrown away, as they will be set +down to the account of some of our departed friends, or at least to that +of the souls which have no acquaintances to pray for them. + +It was customary for us occasionally to kneel before a dead nun thus +seated in the chapel, and I have often performed that task. It was +always painful, for the ghastly countenance being seen whenever I raised +my eyes, and the feeling that the position and dress were entirely +opposed to every idea of propriety in such a case, always made me +melancholy. + +The Superior sometimes left the Convent, and was absent for an hour, or +several hours, at a time, but we never knew of it until she had +returned, and were not informed where she had been. I one day had reason +to presume that she had recently paid a visit to the priests' farm, +though I had no direct evidence that such was the fact. The priests' +farm is a fine tract of land belonging to the Seminary, a little +distance from the city, near the Lachine road, with a large old- +fashioned edifice upon it. I happened to be in the Superior's room on +the day alluded to, when she made some remark on the plainness and +poverty of her furniture. I replied, that she was not proud, and could +not be dissatisfied on that account; she answered-- + +"No; but if I was, how much superior is the furniture at the priests' +farm! the poorest room there is furnished better than the best of mine." + +I was one day mending the fire in the Superior's room, when a priest was +conversing with her on the scarcity of money; and I heard him say, that +very little money was received by the priests for prayers, but that the +principal part came with penances and absolutions. + +One of the most remarkable and unaccountable things that happened in the +Convent, was the disappearance of the old Superior. She had performed +her customary part during the day, and had acted and appeared just as +usual. She had shown no symptoms of ill health, met with no particular +difficulty in conducting business, and no agitation, anxiety or gloom, +had been noticed in her conduct. We had no reason to suppose that during +that day she had expected anything particular to occur, any more than +the rest of us. After the close of our customary labours, and evening +lecture, she dismissed us to retire to bed, exactly in her usual manner. +The next morning the bell rung we sprang from our bed, hurried on our +clothes as usual, and proceeded to the community-room in double line, to +commence the morning exercises. There, to our surprise, we found Bishop +Lartigue; but the Superior was nowhere to be seen. The Bishop soon +addressed us, instead of her, and informed us, that a lady near him, +whom he presented to us, was now the Superior of the Convent, and +enjoined upon us the same respect and obedience which we had paid to her +predecessor. + +The lady he introduced to us was one of our oldest nuns, Saint Du ----, +a very large, fleshy woman, with swelled limbs, which rendered her very +slow in walking, and often gave her great distress. Not a word was +dropped from which we could conjecture the cause of this change, nor of +the fate of the old Superior. I took the first opportunity to inquire of +one of the nuns, whom I dared talk to, what had become of her; but I +found them as ignorant as myself, though suspicious that she had been +murdered by the orders of the Bishop. Never did I obtain any light on +her mysterious disappearance. I am confident, however, that if the +Bishop wished to get rid of her privately and by foul means, he had +ample opportunities and power at his command. Jane Ray, as usual, could +not allow such an occurrence to pass by without intimating her own +suspicions more plainly than any other of the nuns would have dared to +do. She spoke out one day, in the community-room, and said, "I'm going +to have a hunt in the cellar for my old Superior." + +"Hush, Jane Ray!" exclaimed some of the nuns, "you'll be punished." + +"My mother used to tell me," replied Jane, "never to be afraid of the +face of a man." + +It cannot be thought strange that we were superstitious. Some were more +easily terrified than others, by unaccountable sights and sounds; but +all of us believed in the power and occasional appearance of spirits, +and were ready to look for them at almost any time. I have seen several +instances of alarm caused by such superstition, and have experienced it +myself more than once. I was one day sitting mending aprons, beside one +of the old nuns, in a community-room, while the litanies were repeating; +as I was very easy to laugh, Saint Ignace or Agnes, came in, walked up +to her with much agitation, and began to whisper in her ear. She usually +talked but little, and that made me more curious to know what was the +matter with her. I overheard her say to the old nun, in much alarm, that +in the cellar from which she had just returned, she had heard the most +dreadful groans that ever came from any being. This was enough to give +me uneasiness. I could not account for the appearance of an evil spirit +in any part of the Convent, for I had been assured that the only one +ever known there, was that of the nun who had died with an unconfessed +sin, and that others were kept at a distance by the holy water that was +rather profusely used in different parts of the nunnery. Still, I +presumed that the sounds heard by Saint Ignace must have proceeded from +some devil, and I felt great dread at the thought of visiting the cellar +again. I determined to seek further information of the terrified nun; +but when I addressed her on the subject, at recreation-time, the first +opportunity I could find, she replied, that I was always trying to make +her break silence, and walked off to another group in the room, so that +I could obtain no satisfaction. + +It is remarkable that in our nunnery, we were almost entirely cut off +from the means of knowing anything, even of each other. There were many +nuns whom I know nothing of to this day, after having been in the same +rooms with them every day and night for many months. There was a nun, +whom I supposed to be in the Convent, and whom I was anxious to learn +something about from the time of my entrance as a novice; but I never +was able to learn anything concerning her, not even whether she was in +the nunnery or not, whether alive or dead. She was the daughter of a +rich family, residing at Point aux Trembles, of whom I had heard my +mother speak before I entered the Convent. The name of her family I +think was Lafayette, and she was thought to be from Europe. She was +known to have taken the black veil; but as I was not acquainted with the +name of the Saint she had assumed, and I could not describe her in "the +world," all my inquiries and observations proved entirely in vain. I had +heard before my entrance into the Convent, that one of the nuns had made +her escape from it during the last war, and, once inquired about her of +the Superior. She admitted that such was the fact; but I was never able +to learn any particulars concerning her name, origin, or manner of +escape. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Disappearance of Nuns--St. Pierre--Gags--My temporary Confinement in a +Cell--The Cholera Season--How to avoid it--Occupation in the Convent +during the Pestilence--Manufacture of Wax Candles--The Election Riots-- +Alarm among the Nuns--Preparations for defence--Penances. + + +I am unable to say how many nuns disappeared while I was in the Convent. +There were several. One was a young lady called St. Pierre, I think, but +am not certain of her name. There were two nuns by this name. I had +known her as a novice with me. She had been a novice about two years and +a half before I became one. She was rather large without being tall and +had rather dark hair and eyes. She disappeared unaccountably, and +nothing was said of her except what I heard in whispers from a few of +the nuns, as we found moments when we could speak unobserved. + +Some told me they thought she must have left the Convent; and I might +have supposed so, had I not some time afterward found some of her things +lying about, which she would, in such a case, doubtless have taken with +her. I never had known any thing more of her than what I could observe +or conjecture. I had always, however, the idea that her parents or +friends were wealthy, for she sometimes received clothes and other +things, which were very rich. + +Another nun, named Saint Paul, died suddenly; but as in other cases, we +knew so little, or rather were so entirely ignorant of the cause and +circumstances that we could only conjecture; and being forbidden to +converse freely on that or any other subject, thought but little about +it. I have mentioned that a number of veiled nuns thus mysteriously +disappeared during my residence among them. I cannot, perhaps, recall +them all, but I am confident there were as many as five, and I think +more. All that we knew in such cases was, that one of our number who had +appeared as usual when last observed, was nowhere to be seen, and never +was again. Mad Jane Ray, on several such occasions, would indulge in her +bold, and, as we thought, dangerous remarks. She had intimated that some +of those, who had been for a time in the Convent, were by some means +removed to make way for new ones; and it was generally the fact, that +the disappearance of one and the introduction of another into our +community, were nearly at the same time. I have repeatedly heard Jane +Ray say, with one of her significant looks, "When you appear, somebody +else disappears!" + +It is unpleasant enough to distress or torture one's self; but there is +something worse in being tormented by others, especially where they +resort to force, and show a pleasure in compelling you, and leave you no +hope of escape, or opportunity to resist. I had seen the gags repeatedly +in use, and sometimes applied with a roughness which seemed rather +inhuman; but it is one thing to see and another thing to feel. There +were some of the old nuns who seemed to take pleasure in oppressing +those who fell under their displeasure. They were ready to recommend or +resort to compulsory measures, and ever ready to run for the gags. These +were kept in one of the community-rooms, in a drawer between two +closets; and there a stock of about fifty of them was always in +deposite. Sometimes a number of nuns would prove refractory at a time; +and I have seen battles commenced in which several appeared on both +sides. The disobedient were, however, soon overpowered: and to prevent +their screams from being heard beyond the walls, gagging commenced +immediately. I have seen half a dozen lying, gagged and bound at once. + +I have been subjected to the same state of involuntary silence more than +once; for sometimes I became excited to a state of desperation by the +measures used against me, and then conducted in a manner perhaps not +less violent than some others. My hands had been tied behind me, and a +gag put into my mouth, sometimes with such force and rudeness as to +lacerate my lips and cause the blood to flow freely. + +Treatment of this kind is apt to teach submission, and many times I have +acquiesced under orders received, or wishes expressed, with a fear of a +recurrence to some severe measures. + +One day I had incurred the anger of the Superior in a greater degree +than usual, and it was ordered that I should be taken to one of the +cells. I was taken by some of the nuns, bound and gagged, carried down +the stairs in the cellar, and laid upon the floor. Not long afterward I +induced one of the nuns to request the Superior to come down and see me; +and on making some acknowledgment I was released. I will, however, +relate this story rather more in detail. + +On that day I had been engaged with Jane Ray, in carrying into effect a +plan of revenge upon another person, when I fell under the vindictive +spirit of some of the old nuns, and suffered severely. The Superior +ordered me to the cells, and a scene of violence commenced which I will +not attempt to describe, nor the precise circumstances which led to it. +Suffice it to say, that after exhausting my strength, by resisting as +long as I could against several nuns, I had my hands drawn behind my +back, a leathern band passed first round my thumbs, then round my hands, +and then round my waist, and fastened. This was drawn so tight that it +cut through the flesh of my thumbs, making wounds, the scars of which +still remain. A gag was then forced into my mouth, not indeed so +violently as it sometimes was, but roughly enough; after which I was +taken by main force, and carried down into the cellar, across it almost +to the opposite extremity, and brought to the last of the second range +of cells on the left hand. The door was opened, and I was thrown in with +violence, and left alone, the door being immediately closed and bolted +on the outside. The bare ground was under me, cold and hard as if it had +been beaten down even. I lay still, in the position in which I had +fallen, as it would have been difficult for me to move, confined as I +was, and exhausted by my exertions; and the shock of my fall, and my +wretched state of desperation and fear, disinclined me from any further +attempt. I was in almost total darkness, there being nothing perceptible +except a slight glimmer of light which came in through the little window +far above me. + +How long I remained in that condition I can only conjecture. It seemed +to me a long time, and must have been two or three hours. I did not +move, expecting to die there, and in a state of distress which I cannot +describe, from the tight bandage about my hands, and the gag holding my +jaws apart at their greatest extension. I am confident I must have died +before morning, if, as I then expected, I had been left there all night. +By-and-by, however, the bolt was drawn, the door opened, and Jane Ray +spoke to me in a tone of kindness. She had taken an opportunity to slip +into the cellar unnoticed on purpose to see me. She unbound the gag, and +took it out of my mouth, and told me she would do any thing to get me +out of my dungeon. If she had had the bringing of me down, she would not +have thrust me so brutally, and she would be revenged on those who had. +She offered to throw herself upon her knees before the Superior and beg +her forgiveness. To this I would not consent; but told her to ask the +Superior to come to me, as I wished to speak to her. This I had no idea +she would condescend to do; but Jane had not been gone long before the +Superior came, and asked if I had repented in the sight of God for what +I had done. I replied in the affirmative; and after a lecture of some +length on the pain I had given the Virgin Mary by my conduct, she asked +whether I was willing to ask pardon of all the nuns for the scandal I +had caused them by my behaviour. To this I made no objection; and I was +then released from my prison and my bonds, went up to the community- +room, and kneeling before all the sisters in succession begged the +forgiveness and prayers of each. + +Among the marks which I still bear of the wounds received from penances +and violence, are the scars left by the belt with which I repeatedly +tortured myself, for the mortification of my spirit. These are most +distinct on my side; for although the band, which was four or five +inches in breadth, and extended round the waist, was stuck full of sharp +iron points in all parts, it was sometimes crowded most against my side, +by rocking in my chair, and the wounds were usually deeper there than +anywhere else. + +My thumbs were several times cut severely by the tight drawing of the +band used to confine my arms, and the scars are still visible upon them. + +The rough gagging which I several times endured wounded my lips very +much; for it was common, in that operation, to thrust the gag hard +against the teeth, and catch one or both the lips, which were sometimes +cut. The object was to stop the screams made by the offender as soon as +possible; and some of the old nuns delighted in tormenting us. A gag was +once forced into my mouth which had a large splinter upon it, and this +cut through my under lip, in front, leaving to this day a scar about +half an inch long. The same lip was several times wounded, as well as +the other; but one day worse than ever, when a narrow piece was cut off +from the left side of it, by being pinched between the gag and the under +fore-teeth; and this has left an inequality in it which is still very +observable. + +One of the most shocking stories I heard of events that had occurred in +the nunnery before my acquaintance with it, was the following, which was +told me by Jane. What is uncommon, I can fix the date when I heard it. +It was on New-Year's day, 1834. The ceremonies, customary in the early +part of that day, had been performed; after mass, in the morning, the +Superior had shaken hands with all the nuns, and given us her blessing, +for she was said to have received power from heaven to do so only once a +year, and then on the first day of the year. Besides this, cakes, +raisins, &c. are distributed to the nuns on that day. + +While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the +cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation +with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our +practice often was, to take places there beside one of the old nuns, +awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while and leave us +partially screened from the observation of others. On that occasion, +Jane and I were left for a time alone; when after some discourse on +suicide, she remarked, that three nuns once killed themselves in the +Convent. This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I +knew, therefore, that it was several years before, for she had been +received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young +ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same +time, I am not certain which. I know they have four robes in the +Convent, to be worn during the ceremony of taking the veil; but I have +never seen more than one of them used at a time. + +Two of the new nuns were sisters, and the other their cousin. They had +been received but a few days, when information was given one morning +that they had been found dead in their beds, amid a profusion of blood. +Jane Ray said, she saw their corpses, and that they appeared to have +killed themselves, by opening veins in their arms with a knife they had +obtained, and all had bled to death together. What was extraordinary, +Jane Ray added, that she had heard no noise, and that she believed +nobody had suspected that any thing was wrong during the night. Saint +Hypolite, however, had stated, that she found them in the morning, after +the other nuns had gone to prayers, lying lifeless in their beds. + +For some reason or other, their death was not made public; but their +bodies, instead of being exhibited in full dress in the chapel, and +afterward interred with solemnity beneath it, were taken unceremoniously +into the cellar, and thrown into the hole I have so often mentioned. + +There were a few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing +that was happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not +extend out of the city. I can recall but three occasions of this kind. +Two of them were when the cholera prevailed in Montreal; and the other +was the election riots. The appearance of the cholera, in both seasons +of its ravages, gave us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more +borne down by hard labor at those times, than ever before or afterward +during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax +candles would afford protection from the disease, because so long as any +person continued to burn one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for him. +No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance in +Montreal, than a long wax candle was lighted in the Convent for each of +the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially +illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were kept +constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured by +the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been +promulgated in the Grey Nunnery, the Congregational Nunnery, and to +Catholics at large, through the pulpits, an extraordinary demand was +created for wax candles, to supply which we were principally depended +upon. All who could be employed in making them were therefore set at +work, and I among the rest, assisted in different departments, and +witnessed all. + +Numbers of the nuns had been long familiar with the business; for a very +considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the +Convent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in +a great degree laid aside. Large quantities of wax were received in the +building, which was said to have been imported from England; kettles +were placed in some of the working-rooms, in which it was clarified by +heat over coal fires, and when prepared, the process of dipping +commenced. The wicks which were quite long, were placed hanging upon a +reel, taken up and dipped in succession, until, after many slow +revolutions of the reel, the candles were of the proper size. They were +then taken to a part of the room where tables were prepared for rolling +them smooth. This is done by passing a roller over them, until they +became even and polished, after which they are laid by for sale. These +processes caused a constant bustle in several of the rooms; and the +melancholy reports from without, of the ravages of the cholera, with the +uncertainty of what might be the result with us, notwithstanding the +promised intercession of the Virgin, and the brilliant lights constantly +burning in such numbers around us, impressed the scenes I used to +witness very deeply on my mind. I had very little doubt myself of the +strict truth of the story we had heard of the security conferred upon +those who burnt candles, and yet I sometimes had serious fears arise in +my mind. These thoughts, however, I did my utmost to regard as great +sins, and evidences of my own want of faith. + +It was during that period that I formed a partial acquaintance with +several Grey nuns, who used to come frequently for supplies of candles +for their Convent. I had no opportunity to converse with them, except so +far as the purchase and sale of the articles they required. I became +familiar with their countenances and appearances, but was unable to +judge of their characters or feelings. Concerning the rules and habits +prevailing in the Grey Nunnery; I therefore remained as ignorant as if I +had been a thousand miles off; and they had no better opportunity to +learn anything of us beyond what they could see around them in the room +where the candles were sold. + +We supplied the Congregational Nunnery also with wax candles, as I +before remarked; and in both those institutions, it was understood a +constant illumination was kept up. Citizens were also frequently running +in to buy candles, in great and small quantities, so that the business +of storekeeping was far more laborious than common. + +We were confirmed in our faith in the intercession of the Virgin, when +we found that we remained safe from the cholera; and it is a remarkable +fact, that not one case of that disease existed in the nunnery, during +either of the seasons in which it proved so fatal in the city. + +When the election riots prevailed in Montreal, the city was thrown into +general alarm; we heard some reports, from day to day, which made us +anxious for ourselves. Nothing, however, gave me any serious thoughts +until I saw uncommon movements in some parts of the nunnery, and +ascertained, to my own satisfaction, that there was a large quantity of +gunpowder stored in some secret place within the walls, and that some of +it was removed, or prepared for use, under the direction of the +Superior. + +I have mentioned several penances, in different parts of this narrative, +which we sometimes had to perform. There is a great variety of them; +and, while some, though trifling in appearance, became very painful, by +long endurance, or frequent repetition; others are severe in their +nature, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of something +worse, or a real belief in efficacy to remove guilt. I will mention here +such as I recollect, which can be named without offending a virtuous +ear; for some there were, which, although I have been compelled to +submit to, either by misled conscience, or the fear of severe +punishments, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, and at +liberty to act, I would not mention or describe. + +Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the +feet of the other nuns, is another: as are kneeling on hard peas, and +walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees +through the subterranean passage, leading to the Congregational Nunnery; +and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. Sometimes we +were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic was given to +me on this account, because I had a strong antipathy against it. Eels +were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt an unconquerable +repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard of their feeding +on dead carcasses, in the river St. Lawrence. It was no uncommon thing +for us to be required to drink the water in which the Superior had +washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand ourselves with a +hot iron, so as to leave scars; at other times to whip our naked flesh +with several small rods, before a private altar, until we drew blood. I +can assert, with the perfect knowledge of the fact, that many of the +nuns bear the scars of these wounds. + +One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms +extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The _Chemin de la +Croix_, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it +consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repetition of many +prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform +frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in +succession, at each time commemorating some particular act or +circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to the place of his +crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the +winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet; and sometimes to chew a +piece of window-glass to a fine powder, in the presence of the Superior. + +We had sometimes to wear leathern belts stuck full of sharp metallic +points round our waists, and the upper part of our arms, bound on so +tight that they penetrated the flesh, and drew blood. + +Some of the penances was so severe, that they seemed too much to be +endured; and when they were imposed, the nuns who were to suffer them, +sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would often resist, +and still oftener express their opposition by exclamations and screams. + +Never, however, was any noise heard from them, for a long time for there +was a remedy always ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The gag +which was put into the month of the unfortunate Saint Francis, had been +brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of +different shapes and sizes. These I have seen in their depository, which +is a drawer between two closets, in one of the community-rooms. Whenever +any loud noise was made, one of these instruments was demanded, and +gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many instances, and +sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes they would become +so much excited before they could be bound and gagged, that considerable +force was necessary to be exerted; and I have seen the blood flowing +from months into which the gag had been thrust with violence. + +Indeed I ought to know something on this department of nunnery +discipline: I have had it tried upon myself, and I can bear witness that +it is not only most humiliating and oppressive, but often extremely +painful. The month is kept forced open, and the straining of the jaws at +their utmost stretch, for a considerable time, is very distressing. + +One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with a +cap; and yet some of the old nuns were permitted to inflict it at their +pleasure. I have repeatedly known them to go for a cap, when one of our +number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very +unimportant one. These caps were kept in a cupboard in the old nuns' +room, whence they were brought when wanted. + +They were small, made of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to +the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the +common practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her before the cap +was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by any +for one moment, without throwing them into severe sufferings. If +permitted, they would scream in a most shocking manner; and they always +writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can speak from +personal knowledge of this punishment, as I have endured it more than +once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined +one of the caps, nor saw the inside, for they are always brought and +taken away quickly; but although the first sensation was that of +coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and +indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more +insupportable; and this continued until it was removed. It would produce +such an acute pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think no human +being could endure it for an hour. After this punishment we felt its +effects through the system for many days. Having once known what it was +by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was condemned to +suffer the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to avoid it. But +when tied and gagged, with the cap on my head again, I could only sink +upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was taken off. + +This was usually done in about ten minutes, sometimes less, but the pain +always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it might +take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I had not +been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I have felt +the effects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were applied to +my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine my head, I +cannot say more. + +This punishment was occasionally resorted to for very trifling offences, +such as washing the hands without permission; and it was generally +applied on the spot, and before the other nuns in the community-room. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black +Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to +commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The +timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some +account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging. + + +I have mentioned before, that the country, as far down as Three Rivers, +is furnished with priests by the Seminary of Montreal; and that these +hundred and fifty men are liable to be occasionally transferred from one +station to another. Numbers of them are often to be seen in the streets +of Montreal, as they may find a home in the Seminary. + +They are considered as haying an equal right to enter the Black Nunnery +whenever they please; and then, according to our oaths, they have +complete control over the nuns. To name all the works of shame of which +they are guilty in that retreat, would require much time and space, +neither would it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which +is, the publication of but some of their criminality to the world, and +the development, in general terms, of scenes thus far carried on in +secret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate. + +Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an +eyewitness would ever escape to tell of their crimes, and declare some +of their names before the world; but the time has come, and some of +their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the +nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country +places, admitted for shameful and criminal purposes: from St. Charles, +St. Denis, St. Mark's St. Antoine, Chambly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c. + +How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I make! Shut up in a +place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, and +that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in +perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their +criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly than +even the brutes. These debauchees would come in without ceremony, +concealing their names, both by night and by day, where the cries and +pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the +world, for relief or redress for their wrongs; without remorse or shame, +they would glory in torturing, in the most barbarous manner, the +feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that +this mortifying of the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God. + +We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary sufferings in a +variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A +priest would sometimes say to us-- + +"Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin +through your cheeks?" + +Some of us would signify our readiness, and immediately thrust one +through up to the head. Sometimes he would propose that we should repeat +the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a number of +nuns would be bloody. + +There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I +cannot name in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to +perform; many of them things not only useless, and unheard of, but +loathsome and indecent in the highest possible degree. How they could +ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse +than the entire exposure of the person, though this was occasionally +required of several at once, in the presence of priests. + +The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that he +had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who +possessed the greatest devotion and faith, should be requested to +perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our +presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to +speak. I cannot repeat what would injure any ear, not debased to the +lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to +confess, that deluded women were found among us, who would comply with +those requests. + +There was a great difference between the characters of our old and new +Superior, which soon became obvious. The former used to say she liked to +walk, because it would prevent her from becoming corpulent. She was, +therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the +nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employments. I never +saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, bold +and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, cruel and cold- +blooded, in scenes calculated to overcome any common person. Such a +character she had exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis. + +The new Superior, on the other hand, was so heavy and lame, that she +walked with much difficulty, and consequently exercised a less vigilant +oversight of the nuns. She was also of a timid disposition, or else had +been overcome by some great fright in her past life; for she was apt to +become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark. +She had long performed the part of an old nun, which is that of a spy +upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, under +the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the station of +Superior, she appointed me to sleep in her apartment, and assigned me a +sofa to lie upon. One night while, I was asleep, she suddenly threw +herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alarm, "Oh! mon Dieu! mon Dieu! +Qu'est que ça?" Oh, my God! my God! What is that? I jumped up and looked +about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured to convince her that +there was nothing extraordinary there. But she insisted that a ghost had +come and held her bed-curtain, so that she could not draw it. I examined +it, and found that the curtain had been caught by a pin in the valance, +which had held it back; but it was impossible to tranquillize her for +some time. She insisted on my sleeping with her the rest of the night, +and I stretched myself across the foot of her bed, and slept there till +morning. + +During the last part of my stay in the Convent, I was often employed in +attending in the hospitals. There are, as I have before mentioned, +several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a physician of +Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be +supposed, however, that he knows anything concerning the private +hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly understood, +and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any circumstances, +admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he sees nothing more +than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care of those patients +who are admitted from the city into the public hospital, and one of the +nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every day. Sick poor are received +for charity by the institution, attended by some of the nuns, and often +go away with the highest ideas of their charitable characters and holy +lives. The physician himself might perhaps in some cases share in the +delusion. + +I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the +direction of the Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and +wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different +patients. These were afterwards prepared and administered by the +attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first +appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed +in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course, I had +opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated +there; and in what I am to say on the subject, I appeal with perfect +confidence to any true and competent witness to confirm, my words, +whenever such a witness may appear. + +It would be vain for any body who has merely visited the Convent from +curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations. +Such a person must necessarily be ignorant of even the existence of the +private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms however, +there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there during +the hours I was employed in them, as I have stated. + +One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare, +who, in going down-stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a sick-room +adjoining an hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her head a part +of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her reason most +of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was delirious; but I +considered her as speaking the truth, though I felt reluctant to repeat +what I heard her say, and excused myself from mentioning it even at +confession, on the ground that the Superior thought her deranged. + +What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation, +was a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out +of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at +the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the +dark, for she could not bear it. "I have witnessed so many horrid +scenes," said she, "in this Convent, that I want somebody near me +constantly, and must always have a light burning in my room. I cannot +tell you," she added, "what things I remember, for they would frighten +you too much. What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder have +I witnessed; many a nice young creature has been killed in this nunnery. +I advise you to be very cautions--keep everything to yourself--there are +many here ready to betray you." + +What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me I +could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her own +crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I took of +her. She had been one of the night-watches, and never before showed me +any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail concerning +the transactions to which she alluded, but told me that some nuns had +been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being gagged, and +left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt off their bones +with red-hot irons. + +It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit +renders us insensible to the sufferings of others, and careless about +our own sins. I had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult +to rid myself of many of my former false principles and views of right +and wrong. + +I was one day set to wash some of the empty bottles from the cellar, +which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there. +A number of these had been brought from the corner where so many of them +were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar stairs, and +there we were required to take them and wash them out. We poured in +water and rinsed them; a few drops, which got upon our clothes, soon +made holes in them. I think the liquid was called vitriol, or some such +name; and I heard some persons say, that it would soon destroy the +flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another time, we were +furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed with a quantity +of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was wanted at +funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by being +dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed with fresh +water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a bright red. + +The bottles of which I spoke were made of very thick, dark-coloured +glass, large at the bottom, and, from recollection, I should say held +something less than a gallon. + +I was once much shocked, on entering the room for the examination of +conscience, at seeing a nun hanging by a cord from a ring in the +ceiling, with her head downward. Her clothes had been tied round with a +leathern strap, to keep them in their place, and then she had been +fastened in that situation, with her head at some distance from the +floor. Her face had a very unpleasant appearance, being dark-coloured +and swollen by the rushing in of the blood; her hands were tied and her +mouth stopped with a large gag. This nun proved to be no other than Jane +Ray, who for some fault had been condemned to this punishment. + +This was not, however, a solitary case; I heard of numbers who were +"hung," as it was called, at different times; and I saw Saint Hypolite +and Saint Luke undergoing it. This was considered a most distressing +punishment; and it was the only one which Jane Ray could not endure, of +all she had tried. + +Some of the nuns would allude to it in her presence, but it usually made +her angry. It was probably practised in the same place while I was a +novice; but I never heard or thought of such a thing in those days. +Whenever we wished to enter the room for examination of conscience, we +had to ask leave; and after some delay were permitted to go, but always +under a strict charge to bend the head forward, and keep the eyes fixed +upon the floor. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +More visits to the imprisoned Nuns--Their fears--Others temporarily put +into the Cells--Reliques--The Agnus Dei--The Priests' private Hospital, +or Holy Retreat--Secret Rooms in the Eastern Wing--Reports of Murders in +the Convent--The Superior's private Records--Number of Nuns in the +Convent--Desire of Escape--Urgent reason for it--Plan--Deliberation-- +Attempt--Success. + + +I often seized an opportunity, when I safely could, to speak a cheering +or friendly word to one of the poor prisoners, in passing their cells, +on my errands in the cellars. For a time I supposed them to be sisters; +but I afterward discovered that this was not the case. I found that they +were always under the fear of suffering some punishment, in case they +should be found talking with a person not commissioned to attend them. +They would often ask, "Is not somebody coming?" + +I could easily believe what I heard affirmed by others, that fear was +the severest of their sufferings. Confined in the dark, in so gloomy a +place, with the long and spacious arched cellar stretching off this way +and that, visited now and then by a solitary nun, with whom they were +afraid to speak their feelings, and with only the miserable society of +each other; how gloomy thus to spend day after day, months, and even +years, without any prospect of liberation, and liable every moment to +any other fate to which the Bishop or Superior might condemn them! But +these poor creatures must have known something of the horrors +perpetrated in other parts of the building, and could not have been +ignorant of the hole in the cellar, which was not far from their cells, +and the use to which it was devoted. One of them told me, in confidence, +she wished they could get out. They must also have been often disturbed +in their sleep, if they ever did sleep, by the numerous priests who +passed through the trapdoor at no great distance. To be subject to such +trials for a single day would be dreadful; but these nuns had them to +endure for years. + +I often felt much compassion for them, and wished to see them released; +but at other times, yielding to the doctrine perpetually taught us in +the Convent, that our future happiness would be proportioned to the +sufferings we had to undergo in this world, I would rest satisfied that +their imprisonment was a real blessing to them. Others, I presume, +participated with me in such feelings. One Sunday afternoon, after we +had performed all our ceremonies, and were engaged as usual, at that +time, with backgammon and other amusements, one of the young nuns +exclaimed, "Oh, how headstrong are those wretches in the cells--they are +as bad as the day they were first put in!" + +This exclamation was made, as I supposed, in consequence of some recent +conversation with them, as I knew her to be particularly acquainted with +the older one. + +Some of the vacant cells were occasionally used for temporary +imprisonment. Three nuns were confined in them, to my knowledge, for +disobedience to the Superior, as she called it. They did not join the +rest in singing in the evening, being exhausted by the various exertions +of the day. The Superior ordered them to sing, and as they did not +comply, after her command had been twice repeated, she ordered them away +to the cells. + +They were immediately taken down into the cellar, placed in separate +dungeons, and the doors shut and barred upon them. There they remained +through that night, the following day, and second night, but were +released in time to attend mass on the second morning. + +The Superior used occasionally to show something in a glass box, which +we were required to regard with the highest degree of reverence. It was +made of wax, and called an Agnus Dei. She used to exhibit it to us when +we were in a state of grace; that is, after confession and before +sacrament. She said it had been blessed _in the very dish in which our +Saviour had eaten_. It was brought from Rome. Every time we kissed +it, or even looked at it, we were told it gave a hundred days release +from purgatory to ourselves, or if we did not need it, to our next of +kin in purgatory, if not a Protestant. If we had no such kinsman, the +benefit was to go to the souls in purgatory not prayed for. + +Jane Ray would sometimes say to me, "Let's kiss it--some of our friends +will thank us for it." + +I have been repeatedly employed in carrying dainties of different kinds +to the little private room I have mentioned, next beyond the Superior's +sitting-room, in the second story, which the priests made their "_Holy +Retreat_." That room I never was allowed to enter. I could only go to +the door with a waiter of refreshments, set it down upon a little stand +near it, give three raps on the door, and then retire to a distance to +await orders. When any thing was to be taken away, it was placed on the +stand by the Superior, who then gave three raps for me, and closed the +door. + +The Bishop I saw at least once when he appeared worse for wine, or +something of the kind. After partaking of some refreshments in the +Convent, he sent for all the nuns, and, on our appearance, gave us his +blessing, and put a piece of poundcake on the shoulder of each of us, in +a manner which appeared singular and foolish. + +There are three rooms in the Black Nunnery which I never entered. I had +enjoyed much liberty, and had seen, as I supposed, all parts of the +building, when one day I observed an old nun go to a corner of an +apartment near the northern end of the western wing, push the end of her +scissors into a crack in the panelled wall, and pull out a door. I was +much surprised, because I had never conjectured that any door was there; +and it appeared when I afterward examined the place, that no indication +of it could be discovered on the closest scrutiny. I stepped forward to +see what was within, and saw three rooms opening into each other; but +the nun refused to admit me within the door, which she said led to rooms +kept as depositories. + +She herself entered and closed the door, so that I could not satisfy my +curiosity; and no occasion presented itself. I always had a strong +desire to know the use of these apartments: for I am sure they must have +been designed for some purpose of which I was intentionally kept +ignorant, otherwise they would never have remained unknown to me so +long. Besides, the old nun evidently had some strong reasons for denying +me admission, though she endeavoured to quiet my curiosity. + +The Superior, after my admission into the Convent, had told me that I +had access to every room in the building; and I had seen places which +bore witness to the cruelties and the crimes committed under her +commands or sanction; but here was a succession of rooms which had been +concealed from me, and so constructed as if designed to be unknown to +all but a few. I am sure that any person, who might be able to examine +the wall in that place, would pronounce that secret door a surprising +piece of work. I never saw any thing of the kind which appeared to me so +ingenious and skilfully made. I told Jane Ray what I had seen, and she +said, at once, "We will get in and see what is in there." But I suppose +she never found an opportunity. + +I naturally felt a good deal of curiosity to learn whether such scenes, +as I had witnessed in the death of Saint Francis, were common or rare, +and took an opportunity to inquire of Jane Ray. Her reply was-- + +"Oh, yes; and there were many murdered while you was a novice, whom you +heard nothing about." + +This was all I ever learnt on the subject; but although I was told +nothing of the manner in which they were killed, I supposed it to be the +same which I had seen practised, viz. by smothering. + +I went into the Superior's parlour one day for something, and found Jane +Ray there alone, looking into a book with an appearance of interest. I +asked her what it was, but she made some trifling answer, and laid it +by, as if unwilling to let me take it. There are two bookcases in the +room; one on the right as you enter the door, and the other opposite, +near the window and sofa. The former contains the lecture-books and +other printed volumes, the latter seemed to be filled with note and +account books. I have often seen the keys in the bookcases while I have +been dusting the furniture, and sometimes observed letters stuck up in +the room; although I never looked into one, or thought of doing so, as +we were under strict orders not to touch any of them, and the idea of +sins and penances was always present with me. + +Some time after the occasion mentioned, I was sent into the Superior's +room, with Jane, to arrange it; and as the same book was lying out of +the case, she said "Come, let us look into it." I immediately consented, +and we opened it, and turned over several leaves. It was about a foot +and a half long, as nearly as I can remember, a foot wide, and about two +inches thick, though I cannot speak with particular precision, as Jane +frightened me almost as soon as I touched it, by exclaiming, "There you +have looked into it, and if you tell of me, I will of you." + +The thought of being subjected to a severe penance, which I had reason +to apprehend, fluttered me very much; and although I tried to overcome +my fears, I did not succeed very well. I reflected, however, that the +sin was already committed, and that it would not be increased if I +examined the book. I, therefore, looked a little at several pages, +though I still felt a good deal of agitation. I saw, at once, that the +volume was the record of the entrance of nuns and novices into the +Convent, and of the births that had taken place in the Convent. Entries +of the last description were made in a brief manner, on the following +plan: I do not give the names or dates as real, but only to show the +form of entering them. + + Saint Mary delivered of a son, March 16,1834. + Saint Clarice "daughter, April 2," + Saint Matilda "daughter, April, 80," + +No mention was made in the book of the death of the children, though I +well knew not one of them could be living at that time. Now I presume +that the period the book embraced, was about two years, as several names +near the beginning I knew; but I can form only a rough conjecture of the +number of infants born, and murdered of course, records of which it +contained. I suppose the book contained at least one hundred pages, that +one fourth were written upon, and that each page contained fifteen +distinct records. Several pages were devoted to the list of births. On +this supposition there must have been a large number, which I can easily +believe to have been born there in the course of two years. + +What were the contents of the other books belonging to the same case +with that which I looked into, I have no idea, having never dared to +touch one of them; I believe, however, that Jane Ray was well acquainted +with them, knowing, as I do, her intelligence and prying disposition. If +she could be brought to give her testimony, she would doubtless unfold +many curious particulars now unknown. + +I am able, in consequence of a circumstance which appeared accidental, +to state with confidence the exact number of persons in the Convent one +day of the week in which I left it. This may be a point of some +interest, as several secret deaths had occurred since my taking the +veil, and many burials had been openly made in the chapel. + +I was appointed, at the time mentioned, to lay out the covers for all +the inmates of the Convent, including the nuns in the cells. These +covers, as I have said before, were linen bands, to be bound around the +knives, forks, spoons, and napkins, for eating. These were for all the +nuns and novices, and amounted to two hundred and ten. As the number of +novices was then about thirty, I know that there must have been at that +time about one hundred and eighty veiled nuns. + +I was occasionally troubled with a desire of escaping from the nunnery, +and was much distressed whenever I felt so evil an imagination rise in +my mind. I believed that it was a sin, and did not fail to confess at +every opportunity, that I felt discontent. My confessors informed me +that I was beset by an evil spirit, and urged me to pray against it. +Still, however, every now and then, I would think, "Oh, if I could get +out!" + +At length one of the priests, to whom I had confessed this sin, informed +me, for my comfort, that he had begun to pray to Saint Anthony, and +hoped his intercession would, by-and-by, drive away the evil spirit. My +desire of escape was partly excited by the fear of bringing an infant to +the murderous hands of my companions, or of taking a potion whose +violent effects I too well knew. + +One evening, however, I found myself more filled with the desire of +escape than ever; and what exertions I made to dismiss the thought, +proved entirely unavailing. During evening prayers, I became quite +occupied with it; and when the time for meditation arrived, instead of +falling into a doze as I often did, although I was a good deal fatigued, +I found no difficulty in keeping awake. When this exercise was over, and +the other nuns were about to retire to the sleeping-room, my station +being in the private sickroom for the night, I withdrew to my post, +which was the little sitting-room adjoining it. + +Here, then, I threw myself upon the sofa, and, being alone, reflected a +few moments on the manner of escaping which had occurred to me. The +physician had arrived a little before, at half-past eight; and I had now +to accompany him, as usual, from bed to bed, with pen, ink, and paper, +to write down his prescriptions for the direction of the old nun, who +was to see them administered. What I wrote that evening, I cannot now +recollect, as my mind was uncommonly agitated; but my customary way was +to note down briefly his orders in this manner: + + 1 d salts, St. Matilde. + 1 blister, St. Geneviere, &c. &c. + +I remember that I wrote three such orders that evening, and then, having +finished the rounds, I returned for a few minutes to the sitting-room. + +There were two ways of access to the street from those rooms: first, the +more direct, from the passage adjoining the sick-room, down stairs, +through a door, into the nunnery-yard, and through a wicket-gate; that +is the way by which the physician usually enters at night, and he is +provided with a key for that purpose. + +It would have been unsafe, however, for me to pass out that way, because +a man is kept continually in the yard, near the gate, who sleeps at +night in a small hut near the door, to escape whose observation would be +impossible. My only hope, therefore, was, that I might gain my passage +through the other way, to do which I must pass through the sick-room, +then through a passage, or small room, usually occupied by an old nun; +another passage and staircase leading down to the yard, and a large gate +opening into the cross street. I had no liberty ever to go beyond the +sick-room, and knew that several of the doors might be fastened. Still, +I determined to try; although I have often since been astonished at my +boldness in undertaking what would expose me to so many hazards of +failure, and to severe punishment if found out. + +It seemed as if I acted under some extraordinary impulse, which +encouraged me to do what I should hardly at any other moment have +thought of undertaking. I had sat but a short time upon the sofa, +however, before I rose, with a desperate determination to make the +experiment. I therefore walked hastily across the sick-room, passed into +the nun's room, walked by her in a great hurry, and almost without +giving her time to speak or think, said--"A message!" and in an instant +was through the door and in the next passage. I think there was another +nun with her at the moment; and it is probable that my hurried manner, +and prompt intimation that I was sent on a pressing mission, to the +Superior, prevented them from entertaining any suspicion of my +intention. Besides, I had the written orders of the physician in my +hand, which may have tended to mislead them; and it was well known to +some of the nuns, that I had twice left the Convent and returned from +choice; so that I was probably more likely to be trusted to remain than +many of the others. + +The passage which I had now reached had several doors, with all which I +was acquainted; that on the opposite side opened into a community-room, +where I should probably have found some of the old inns at that hour, +and they would certainly have stopped me. On the left, however, was a +large door, both locked and barred; but I gave the door a sudden swing, +that it might creak as little as possible, being of iron. Down the +stairs I hurried, and making my way through the door into the yard, +stepped across it unbarred the great gate, and was at liberty! + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +At liberty--Doubtful what to do--Found refuge for the night-- +Disappointment--My first day opt of the Convent--Solitude-- +Recollections, fears, and plans. + + +I have but a confused idea of the manner in which I got through some of +the doors; several of them, I am confident, were fastened, and one or +two I fastened behind me. [Footnote: Before leaving the nunnery grounds, +I ran round the end of the building, stood a moment in hesitation +whether I had not better return, then hastening back to the other side, +ran to the gate, opened it, and went out.] But I was now in the street, +and what was to be done next? I had got my liberty; but where should I +go? It was dark, I was in great danger, go which way I would: and for a +moment, I thought I had been unwise to leave the Convent. If I could +return unobserved, would it not be better? But summoning resolution, I +turned to the left, and ran some distance up the street; then reflecting +that I had better take the opposite direction, I returned under the same +Convent walls, and ran as fast down to St. Paul's street, and turning up +towards the north, exerted all my strength, and fled for my life. It was +a cold evening, but I stopped for nothing, having recollected the house +where I had been put to board for a short time, by the priest Roque, +when prepared to enter the Convent as a novice, and resolved to seek a +lodging there for the night. Thither I went. It seemed as if I flew +rather than ran. It was by that time so dark, that I was able to see +distinctly through the low windows by the light within; and had the +pleasure to find that she was alone with her children. I therefore went +boldly to the door, was received with readiness, and entered to take up +my lodging there once more. + +Here I changed my nun's dress for one less likely to excite observation; +and having received a few dollars in addition to make up the difference, +I retired to rest, determined to rise early and take the morning +steamboat for Quebec. I knew that my hostess was a friend of the +Superior, as I have mentioned before, and presumed that it would not be +long before she would give information against me. I knew, however, that +she could not gain admittance to the Convent very early, and felt safe +in remaining in the house through the night. + +But after I had retired I found it impossible to sleep, and the night +appeared very long. In the morning early, I requested that a son of the +woman might accompany me to the steamboat, but learnt to my regret that +it would not go before night. Fearing that I might fall into the hands +of the priests, and be carried back to the nunnery, and not knowing +where to go, I turned away, and determined to seek some retired spot +immediately. I walked through a part of the city, and some distance on +the Lachine road, when finding a solitary place, I seated myself in much +distress of mind, fearful and anxious, beyond my power, of description. +I could not think myself safe anywhere in the neighbourhood of Montreal; +for the priests were numerous, and almost all the people were entirely +devoted to them. They would be very desirous of finding me, and, as I +believed, would make great exertions to get me again in their hands. + +It was a pleasant spot where I now found myself; and as the weather was +not uncomfortable in the daytime, I had nothing to trouble me except my +recollections and fears. As for the want of food, that gave me not the +slightest uneasiness, as I felt no inclination whatever to eat. The +uncertainty and doubts I continually felt, kept me in a state of +irresolution the whole day. What should I do? Where should I go? I had +not a friend in the world to whom I could go with confidence; while my +enemies were numerous, and, it seemed to me, all around me, and ready to +seize me. I thought of my uncle, who lived at the distance of five +miles; and sometimes I almost determined to set off immediately for his +house. I had visited it often when a child, and had been received with +the utmost kindness. I remembered that I had been a great favourite of +his; but some considerations would arise which discouraged me from +looking for safety in that direction. The steamboat was to depart in a +few hours. I could venture to pass through the city once more by +twilight; and if once arrived at Quebec, I should be at a great distance +from the nunnery, in a large city, and among a larger proportion of +Protestant inhabitants. Among them I might find friends, or, at least, +some sort of protection; and I had no doubt that I could support myself +by labor. + +Then I thought again of the place I had left; the kindness and sympathy, +small though they were, which I had found in some of my late companions +in the Convent; the awful mortal sin I had committed in breaking my +vows; and the terrible punishment I should receive if taken as a +fugitive and carried back. If I should return voluntarily, and ask to be +admitted again: what would the Superior say, how would she treat me? +Should I be condemned to any very severe penance? Might I not, at least, +escape death? But then there was one consideration that would now and +then occur to me, which excited the strongest determination never to +return. I was to become a mother, and the thought of witnessing the +murder of my own child was more than I could bear. + +Purgatory was doubtless my portion; and perhaps hell for ever--such a +purgatory and hell as are painted in the Convent: but there was one hope +for me yet. + +I might confess all my deadly sins sometime before I died, and a Bishop +could pardon the worst of them. + +This was good Catholic doctrine, and I rested upon it with so much hope, +that I was not quite driven to despair. + +In reflections like these, I spent the whole day, afraid to stray from +the secluded spot to which I had retreated, though at different times +forming momentary plans to leave it, and go in various directions. I ate +not a morsel of food, and yet felt no hunger. Had I been well provided, +I could have tasted nothing in such a state of mind. The afternoon +wasted away, the sun set, and darkness began to come on: I rose and set +off again for the city. I passed along the streets unmolested by any +one; and reached it a short time before the boat was ready to start. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Start for Quebec--Recognised--Disappointed again--Not permitted to land +--Return to Montreal--Landed and passed through the city before day-- +Lachine Canal--Intended close of my life. + + +Soon after we left the shore, the captain, whom I had previously seen, +appeared to recognise me. + +He came up and inquired if I was not the daughter of my mother, +mentioning her name. I had long been taught and accustomed to deceive; +and it may be supposed that in such a case I did not hesitate to deny +the truth, hoping that I might avoid being known, and fearing to be +defeated in my object. He however persisted that he knew me, and said he +must insist on my returning with him to Montreal, adding that I must not +leave his boat to land at Quebec. I said but little to him, but intended +to get on shore if possible, at the end of our journey--a thing I had +no doubt I might effect. + +When we reached Quebec, however I found, to my chagrin, that the ladies' +maid carefully locked the cabin-door while I was in, after the ladies +had left it, who were six or eight in number. + +I said little, and made no attempts to resist the restriction put upon +me; but secretly cherished the hope of being able, by watching an +opportunity, to slip on shore at tea-time, and lose myself among the +streets of the city. Although a total stranger to Quebec, I longed to be +at liberty there, as I thought I could soon place myself among persons +who would secure me from the Catholics, each of whom I now looked upon +as an enemy. + +But I soon found that my last hopes were blighted: the maid, having +received, as I presumed, strict orders from the captain, kept me closely +confined, so that escape was impossible. I was distressed, it is true, +to find myself in this condition; but I had already become accustomed to +disappointments, and therefore perhaps sunk less under this new one, +than I might otherwise have done. When the hour for departure arrived, I +was therefore still confined in the steamboat, and it was not until we +had left the shore that I was allowed to leave the cabin. The captain +and others treated me with kindness in every respect, except that of +permitting me to do what I most desired. I have sometimes suspected, +that he had received notice of my escape from some of the priests, with +a request to stop my flight, if I should go on board his boat. His wife +is a Catholic, and this is the only way in which I can account for his +conduct: still I have not sufficient knowledge of his motives and +intentions to speak with entire confidence on the subject. + +My time passed heavily on board of the steamboat, particularly on my +passage up the river towards Montreal. My mind was too much agitated to +allow me to sleep, for I was continually meditating on the scenes I had +witnessed in the Convent, and anticipating with dread such as I had +reason to think I might soon be called to pass through. I bought for a +trifle while on board, I hardly know why, a small medallion with a head +upon it, and the name of Robertson, which I hung on my neck. As I sat by +day with nothing to do, I occasionally sunk into a doze for a few +minutes, when I usually waked with a start from some frightful dream. +Sometimes I thought I was running away from the priests, and closely +pursued, and sometimes had no hope of escape. But the most distressing +of my feelings were those I suffered in the course of the night. We +stopped some time at Berthier, where a number of prisoners were taken on +board, to be carried up the river; and this caused much confusion, and +added to my painful reflections. + +My mind became much agitated, worse than it had been before; and what +between waking fears, and sleeping visions, I spent a most wretched +night. Sometimes I thought the priests and nuns had me shut up in a +dungeon; sometimes they were about to make away with me in a most cruel +manner. Once I dreamed that I was in some house, and a coach came up to +the door, into which I was to be put by force; and the man who seized +me, and was putting me in, had no head. + +When we reached Montreal on Saturday morning, it was not daylight; and +the captain, landing, set off as I understood, to give my mother +information that I was in his boat. He was gone a long time, which led +me to conjecture that he might have found difficulty in speaking with +her; but the delay proved very favourable to me, for perceiving that I +was neither locked up nor watched, I hastened on shore, and pursued my +way into the city. I felt happy at my escape: but what was I then to do? +Whither could I go? Not to my mother: I was certain I could not remain +long with her, without being known to the priests. + +My friendlessness and utter helplessness, with the dread of being +murdered in the Convent, added to thoughts of the shame which must await +me if I lived a few months, made me take a desperate resolution, and I +hurried to put it into effect. + +My object was to reach the head of the Lachine Canal, which is near the +St. Lawrence, beyond the extremity of the southern suburbs. I walked +hastily along St. Paul's street, and found all the houses still shut; +then turning to the old Recollet Church, I reached Notre-Dame street, +which I followed in the direction I wished to go. + +The morning was chilly, as the season was somewhat advanced: but that +was of no importance to me. Day had appeared, and I desired to +accomplish the object on which I was now bent, before the light should +much increase. I walked on, therefore, but the morning had broken bright +before I arrived at the Canal; and then I found to my disappointment +that two Canadians were at work on the hank, getting water, or doing +something else. + +I was by the great basin where the boats start, and near the large canal +storehouse. I have not said what was my design; it was to drown myself. + +Fearing the men would rescue me, I hesitated for some time, hoping they +would retire: but finding that they did not, I grew impatient. I stood +looking on the water; it was nearly on a level with the banks, which +shelved away, as I could perceive, for some distance, there being no +wind to disturb the surface. There was nothing in the sight which seemed +frightful or even forbidding to me; I looked upon it as the means of the +easiest death, and longed to be buried below. At length finding that the +men were not likely to leave the place, I sprung from the bank, and was +in an instant in the cold water. The shock was very severe. I felt a +sharp freezing sensation run through me, which almost immediately +rendered me insensible; and the last thing I can recollect was, that I +was sinking in the midst of water almost as cold as ice, which wet my +clothes, and covered me all over. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Awake among strangers--Dr. Robertson--Imprisoned as a vagrant-- +Introduction to my mother--Stay in her house--Removal from it to Mrs. +McDonald's--Return to my mother's--Desire to get to New York-- +Arrangements for going. + + +How long I remained in the canal I knew not; but in about three minutes, +as I conjectured, I felt a severe blow on my right side; and opening my +eyes I saw myself surrounded by men, who talked a great deal, and +expressed much anxiety and curiosity about me. They enquired of me my +name, where I lived, and why I had thrown myself into the water: but I +would not answer a word. The blow which I had felt, and which was +probably the cause of bringing me for a few moments to my senses, I +presume was caused by my falling, after I was rescued, upon the stones, +which lay thickly scattered near the water. I remember that the persons +around me continued to press me with questions, and that I still +remained silent. Some of them having observed the little medallion on my +neck, and being able to read, declared I was probably the daughter of +Dr. Robertson, as it bore the name; but to this, I also gave no answer, +and sunk again into a state of unconsciousness. + +When my senses once more returned, I found myself lying in a bed covered +up warm, in a house, and heard several persons talking of the mass, from +which they had just returned. I could not imagine where I was, for my +thoughts were not easily collected, and every thing seemed strange +around me. Some of them, on account of the name on the little medallion, +had sent to Dr. Robertson, to inform him that a young woman had been +prevented from drowning herself in the basin, who had a portrait on her +neck, with his family name stamped upon it; and he had sent word, that +although she could be no relation of his, they had better bring her to +his house, as he possibly might be able to learn who she was. +Preparations were therefore made to conduct me thither; and I was soon +in his house. This was about midday, or a little later. + +The doctor endeavored to draw from me some confession of my family: but +I refused; my feelings would not permit me to give him any satisfaction. +He offered to send me to my home if I would tell him where I lived; but +at length, thinking me unreasonable and obstinate, began to threaten to +send me to jail. + +In a short time I found that the latter measure was determined on, and I +was soon put into the hands of the jailer, Captain Holland, and placed +in a private room in his house. + +I had formerly been acquainted with his children, but had such strong +reasons for remaining unknown, that I hoped they would not recognise me; +and, as we had not met for several years I flattered myself that such +would be the case. It was, at first, as I had hoped; they saw me in the +evening, but did not appear to suspect who I was. The next morning, +however, one of them asked me if I were not sister of my brother, +mentioning his name; and though I denied it, they all insisted that I +must be, for the likeness, they said, was surprisingly strong. I still +would not admit the truth; but requested they would send for the Rev. +Mr. Esson, a Presbyterian clergyman in Montreal, saying I had something +to say to him. He soon made his appearance and I gave him some account +of myself and requested him to procure my release from confinement, as I +thought there was no reason why I should be deprived of my liberty. + +Contrary to my wishes, however, he went and informed my mother. An +unhappy difference had existed between us for many years concerning +which I would not speak, were it not necessary to allude to it to render +some things intelligible which are important to my narrative. I am +willing to bear much of the blame: for my drawing part of her pension +had justly irritated her. I shall not attempt to justify or explain my +own feelings with respect to my mother, whom I still regard at least in +some degree as I ought. I will merely say, that I thought she indulged +in partialities and antipathies in her family during my childhood; and +that I attribute my entrance into the nunnery, and the misfortunes I +have suffered, to my early estrangement from home, and my separation +from the family. I had neither, seen her nor heard from her in several +years; and I knew not whether she had even known of my entrance into the +Convent, although I now learnt, that she still resided where she +formerly did. + +It was therefore with regret that I heard that my mother had been +informed of my condition; and that I saw an Irishwoman, an acquaintance +of hers, come to take me to the house. I had no doubt that she would +think I had disgraced her, by being imprisoned, as well as by my attempt +to drown myself; and what would be her feelings towards me, I could only +conjecture. + +I accompanied the woman to my mother's, and found nearly such a +reception as I had expected. Notwithstanding our mutual feelings were +much as they had been, she wished me to stay with her, and kept me in +one of her rooms for several weeks, and with the utmost privacy, fearing +that my appearance would lead to questions, and that my imprisonment +would become known. I soon satisfied myself that she knew little of what +I had passed through, within the few past years; and did not think it +prudent to inform her, for that would greatly have increased the risk of +my being discovered by the priests. We were surrounded by those who went +frequently to confession, and would have thought me a monster of +wickedness, guilty of breaking the most solemn vows, and a fugitive from +a retreat which is generally regarded there as a place of great +sanctity, and almost like a gate to heaven. I well knew the ignorance +and prejudices of the poor Canadians, and understood how such a person +as myself must appear in their eyes. They felt as I formerly had, and +would think it a service to religion, and to God, to betray the place of +my concealment if by chance they should find, or even suspect it. As I +had become in the eyes of Catholics, "a spouse of Jesus Christ," by +taking the veil, my leaving the Convent must appear to them a forsaking +of the Saviour. + +As things were, however, I remained for some time undisturbed. My +brother, though he lived in the house, did not know of my being there +for a fortnight. + +When he learnt it, and came to see me, he expressed much kindness +towards me: but I had not seen him for several years, and had seen so +much evil, that I knew not what secret motives he might have, and +thought it prudent to be reserved. I, therefore, communicated to him +nothing of my history or intentions, and rather repulsed his advances. +The truth is, I had been so long among nuns and priests, that I thought +there was no sincerity or virtue on earth. + +What were my mother's wishes or intentions towards me, I was not +informed: but I found afterwards, that she must have made arrangements +to have me removed from her house, for one day a woman came to the door +with a cariole, and on being admitted to see me, expressed herself in a +friendly manner, spoke of the necessity of air and exercise for my +health, and invited me to take a ride. I consented, supposing we should +soon return: but when we reached St. Antoine suburbs, she drove up to a +house which I had formerly heard to be some kind of refuge, stopped, and +requested me to alight. My first thought was, that I should be exposed +to certain detection, by some of the priests whom I presumed officiated +there; as they had all known me in the nunnery. I could not avoid +entering; but I resolved to feign sickness, hoping thus to be placed out +of sight of the priests. + +The result was according to my wishes: for I was taken to an upper room, +which was used as an infirmary, and there permitted to remain. There +were a large number of women in the house; and a Mrs. M'Donald, who has +the management of it, had her daughters in the Ursuline Nunnery at +Quebec, and her son in the college. The nature of the establishment I +could not fully understand: but it seemed to me designed to become a +nunnery at some future time. + +I felt pretty safe in the house; so long as I was certain of remaining +in the infirmary; for there was nobody there who had ever seen me +before. But I resolved to avoid, if possible, ever making my appearance +below, for I felt that I could not do it without hazard of discovery. + +Among other appendages of a Convent which I observed in that place, was +a confessional within the building, and I soon learnt, to my dismay, +that Father Bonin, one of the murderers of Saint Francis, was in the +habit of constant attendance as priest and confessor. The recollections +which I often indulged in of scenes in the Hotel Dieu, gave me +uneasiness and distress: but not knowing where to go to seek greater +seclusion, I remained in the infirmary week after week, still affecting +illness in the best manner I could. At length I found that I was +suspected of playing off a deception with regard to the state of my +health; and at the close of a few weeks, I became satisfied that I could +not remain longer without making my appearance below stairs. I at length +complied with the wishes I heard expressed, that I would go into the +community-room, where those in health were accustomed to assemble to +work, and then some of the women began to talk of my going to +confession. I merely expressed unwillingness at first; but when they +pressed the point, and began to insist, my fear of detection overcame +every other feeling, and I plainly declared that I would not go. This +led to an altercation, when the mistress of the house pronounced me +incorrigible, and said she would not keep me for a hundred pounds a +year. She, in fact, became so weary of having me there, that she sent to +my mother to take me away. + +My mother, in consequence, sent a cariole for me, and took me again into +her house; but I became so unhappy in a place where I was secluded and +destitute of all agreeable society, that I earnestly requested her to +allow me to leave Canada. I believe she felt ready to have me removed to +a distance, that she might not be in danger of having my attempt at +self-destruction, and my confinement in prison made public. + +There was a fact which I had not disclosed, and of which all were +ignorant: viz., that which had so much influence in exciting me to leave +the Convent, and to reject every idea of returning to it. + +When conversing with my mother about leaving Canada, I proposed to go to +New York. She inquired why I wished to go there. I made no answer to +that question: for, though I had never been there, and knew scarcely +anything about the place, I presumed that I should find protection from +my enemies, as I knew it was in a Protestant country. I had not thought +of going to the United States before, because I had no one to go with +me, nor money enough to pay my expenses; but then a plan presented +itself to my mind, by which I thought I might proceed to New York in +safety. + +There was a man who I presumed would wish to have me leave Canada, on +his own account; and that was the man I had so precipitately married +while residing at St. Denis. He must have had motives, as I thought, for +wishing me at a distance. I proposed therefore that he should be +informed that I was in Montreal, and anxious to go to the States; and +such a message was sent to him by a woman whom my mother knew. +[Footnote: Mrs. Tarbert, or M'Gan. See her affidavit. What house she +refers to I cannot conjecture.] She had a little stand for the sale of +some articles, and had a husband who carried on some similar kind of +business at the Scotch mountain. Through her husband, as I suppose, she +had my message conveyed, and soon informed me that arrangements were +made for my commencing my journey, under the care of the person to whom +it had been sent. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Singular concurrence of circumstances, which enabled me to get to the +United States--Intentions in going there--Commence my journey--Fears of +my companion--Stop at Whitehall--Injury received in a canal boat-- +Arrival at New York--A solitary retreat. + + +It is remarkable that I was able to stay so long in the midst of +Catholics without discovery, and at last obtain the aid of some of them +in effecting my flight. There is probably not a person in Montreal, who +would sooner have betrayed me into the power of priests than that woman, +if she had known my history. + +She was a frequent visitor at the Convent and the Seminary, and had a +ticket which entitled her every Monday to the gift of a loaf of bread +from the former. She had an unbounded respect for the Superior and the +priests, and seized every opportunity to please them. Now the fact that +she was willing to take measures to facilitate my departure from +Montreal, afforded sufficient evidence to me of her entire ignorance of +myself, in all respects in which I could wish her to be ignorant; and I +confided in her, because I perceived that she felt no stronger motive, +than a disposition to oblige my mother. + +Should any thing occur to let her into the secret of my being a fugitive +from the Black Nunnery, I knew that I could not trust to her kindness +for an instant. The discovery of that fact would transform her into a +bitter and deadly enemy. She would at once regard me as guilty of mortal +sin, an apostate, and a proper object of persecution. And this was a +reflection I had often reason to make, when thinking of the numerous +Catholics around me. How important, then, the keeping of my secret, and +my escape before the truth should become known, even to a single person +near me. + +I could realize, from the dangers through which I was brought by the +hand of God, how difficult it must be, in most cases, for a fugitive +from a nunnery to obtain her final freedom from the power of her +enemies. Even if escaped from a Convent, so long as she remains among +Catholics, she is in constant exposure to be informed against; +especially if the news of her escape is made public, which fortunately +was not the fact in my case. + +If a Catholic comes to the knowledge of any fact calculated to expose +such a person, he will think it his duty to disclose it at confession; +and then the whole fraternity will be in motion to seize her. + +How happy for me that not a suspicion was entertained concerning me, and +that not a whisper against me was breathed into the ear of a single +priest at confession! + +Notwithstanding my frequent appearance in the street, my removals from +place to place, and the various exposures I had to discovery, contrary +to my fears, which haunted me even in my dreams, I was preserved; and as +I have often thought, for the purpose of making the disclosures which I +have made in this volume. No power but that of God, as I have frequently +thought, could ever have led me in safety through so many dangers. + +I would not have my readers imagine, however, that I had at that period +any thought of making known my history to the world. I wished to plunge +into the deepest possible obscurity; and next to the fear of falling +again into the hands of the priests and Superior, I shrunk most from the +idea of having others acquainted with the scenes I had passed through. +Such a thought as publishing never entered my mind till months after +that time. My desire was, that I might meet a speedy death in obscurity, +and that my name and my shame might perish on earth together. As for my +future doom, I still looked forward to it with gloomy apprehensions: for +I considered myself as almost, if not quite, removed beyond the reach of +mercy. During all the time which had elapsed since I left the Convent, I +had received no religious instruction, nor even read a word in the +scriptures; and, therefore, it is not wonderful that I should still have +remained under the delusions in which I had been educated. + +The plan arranged for the commencement of my journey was this: I was to +cross the St. Lawrence to Longueil, to meet the man who was to accompany +me. The woman who had sent my message into the country, went with me to +the ferry, and crossed the river, where, according to the appointment, +we found my companion. He willingly undertook to accompany me to the +place of my destination, and at his own expense; but declared, that he +was apprehensive we should be pursued. To avoid the priests, who he +supposed would follow us, he took an indirect route, and during about +twelve days, or nearly that, which we spent on the way, passed over a +much greater distance than was necessary. It would be needless, if it +were possible, to mention all the places we visited. We crossed +Carpenter's ferry, and were at Scotch-mountain and St. Alban's; arrived +at Champlain by land, and there took the steamboat, leaving it again at +Burlington. + +As we were riding towards Charlotte, my companion entertained fears, +which, to me, appeared ridiculous; but it was impossible for me to +reason him out of them, or to hasten our journey. Circumstances which +appeared to me of no moment whatever, would influence, and sometimes +would make him change his whole plan and direction. As we were one day +approaching Charlotte, for instance, on inquiring of a person on the +way, whether there were any Canadians there, and being informed there +were not a few, and that there was a Roman Catholic priest residing +there, he immediately determined to avoid the place, and turned back, +although we were then only nine miles distant from it. + +During several of the first nights after leaving Montreal, he suffered +greatly from fear; and on meeting me in the morning, repeatedly said: +"Well, thank God, we are safe so far!" When we arrived at Whitehall, he +had an idea we should run a risk of meeting priests, who he thought, +were in search of us, if we went immediately on; and insisted that we +had better stay there a little time, until they should have passed. In +spite of my anxiety to proceed, we accordingly remained there about a +week; when we entered a canal-boat to proceed to Troy. + +An unfortunate accident happened to me while on our way. I was in the +cabin, when a gun, which had been placed near me, was started from its +place by the motion of the boat, caused by another boat running against +it, and striking me on my left side, threw me some distance. The shock +was violent, and I thought myself injured, but hoped the effects would +soon pass off. I was afterwards taken with vomiting blood; and this +alarming symptom several times returned; but I was able to keep up. + +We came without any unnecessary delay from Troy to New York, where we +arrived in the morning, either on Thursday or Friday, as I believe: but +my companion there disappeared without informing me where he was going, +and I saw him no more. Being now, as I presumed, beyond the reach of my +enemies, I felt relief from the fear of being carried back to the +nunnery, and sentenced to death or the cells: but I was in a large city +where I had not a friend. Feeling overwhelmed with my miserable +condition, I longed for death; and yet I felt no desire to make another +attempt to destroy myself. + +On the contrary, I determined to seek some solitary retreat, and await +God's time to remove me from a world in which I had found so much +trouble, hoping and believing that it would not be long. + +Not knowing which way to go to find solitude, I spoke to a little boy, +whom I saw on the wharf, and told, him I would give him some money if he +would lead me into the "_bush_". (This is the common word by which, +in Canada, we speak of the woods or forests.) When he understood what I +meant, he told me that there was no _bush_ about New York; but +consented to lead me to the most lonely place he knew of. He accordingly +set off, and I followed him, on a long walk to the upper part of the +city, and beyond, until we reached the outskirts of it. Turning off from +the road, we gained a little hollow, where were a few trees and bushes, +a considerable distance from any house; and there, he told me, was the +loneliest place with which he was acquainted. I paid him for his trouble +out of the small stock of money I had in my possession, and let him go +home, desiring him to come the next day, and bring me something to eat, +with a few pennies which I gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Reflections and sorrow in solitude--Night--Fears--Exposure to rain-- +Discovered by strangers--Their unwelcome kindness--Taken to the Bellevue +Almshouse. + + +There I found myself once more alone, and truly it was a great relief to +sit down and feel that I was out of the reach of priests and nuns, and +in a spot where I could patiently wait for death, when God might please +to send it, instead of being abused and tormented according to the +caprices and passions of my persecutors. + +But then again returned most bitter anticipations of the future. Life +had no attractions for me, for it must be connected with shame; but +death under any circumstances, could not be divested of horrors, so long +as I believed in the doctrines relating to it which had been inculcated +upon me. + +The place where I had taken up, as I supposed, my last earthly abode, +was pleasant in clear and mild weather; and I spent most of my time in +as much peace as the state of my mind would permit. I saw houses, but no +human beings, except on the side of a little hill near by, where were +some men at work, making sounds like those made in hammering stone. The +shade around me was so thick that I felt assured of being sufficiently +protected from observation if I kept still; and a cluster of bushes +offered me shelter for the night. As evening approached, I was somewhat +alarmed by the sound of voices near me, and I found that a number of +labourers were passing that way from their work. I went in a fright to +the thickest of the bushes, and lay down, until all again was still, and +then ventured out to take my seat again on the turf. + +Darkness now came gradually on; and with it fears of another +description. The thought struck me that there might be wild beasts in +that neighborhood, ignorant as I then was of the country; and the more I +thought of it, the more I became alarmed. I heard no alarming sound, it +is true; but I knew not how soon some prowling and ferocious beast might +come upon me in my defenceless condition, and tear me in pieces. I +retired to my bushes, and stretched myself under them upon the ground: +but I found it impossible to sleep; and my mind was almost continually +agitated by thoughts on the future or the past. + +In the morning the little boy made his appearance again, and brought me +a few cakes which he had purchased for me. He showed much interest in +me, inquired why I did not live in a house; and it was with difficulty +that I could satisfy him to let me remain in my solitary and exposed +condition. Understanding that I wished to continue unknown, he assured +me that he had not told even his mother about me; and I had reason to +believe that he faithfully kept my secret to the last. Though he lived a +considerable distance from my hiding-place, and, as I supposed, far down +in the city, he visited me almost every day, even when I had not desired +him to bring me any thing. Several times I received from him some small +supplies of food for the money I had given him. I once gave him a half- +dollar to get changed; and he brought me back every penny of it, at his +next visit. + +As I had got my drink from a brook or pool, which was at no great +distance, he brought me a little cup one day to drink out of; but this I +was not allowed to keep long, for he soon after told me that his mother +wanted it, and he must return it. He several times arrived quite out of +breath, and when I inquired the reason, calling him as I usually did, +"Little Tommy" he said it was necessary for him to run, and to stay but +a short time, that he might be at school in good season. Thus he +continued to serve me, and keep my secret, at great inconvenience to +himself, up to the last day of my stay in that retreat; and I believe he +would have done so for three months if I had remained there. I should +like to see him again and hear his broken English. + +I had now abundance of time to reflect on my lost condition; and many a +bitter thought passed through my mind, as I sat on the ground, or +strolled about by day, and lay under the bushes at night. + +Sometimes I reflected on the doctrines I had heard at the nunnery, +concerning sins and penances, Purgatory and Hell; and sometimes on my +late companions, and the crimes I had witnessed in the Convent. + +Sometimes I would sit and seriously consider how I might best destroy my +life; and sometimes would sing a few of the hymns with which I was +familiar; but I never felt willing or disposed to pray, as I supposed +there was no hope of mercy for me. + +One of the first nights I spent in that houseless condition was stormy; +and though I crept under the thickest of the bushes, and had more +protection against the rain than one might have expected, I was almost +entirely wet before morning; and, it may be supposed, passed a more +uncomfortable night than usual. The next day I was happy to find the +weather clear, and was able to dry my garments by taking off one at a +time, and spreading them on the bushes. A night or two after, however, I +was again exposed to a heavy rain, and had the same process afterward to +go through with: but what is remarkable, I took no cold on either +occasion; nor did I suffer any lasting injury from all the exposures I +underwent in that place. The inconveniences I had to encounter, also, +appeared to me of little importance, not being sufficient to draw off my +mind from its own troubles; and I had no intention of seeking a more +comfortable abode, still looking forward only to dying as soon as God +would permit, alone and in that spot. + +One day, however, when I had been there about ten days, I was alarmed at +seeing four men approaching me. All of them had guns, as if out on a +shooting excursion. They expressed much surprise and pity on finding me +there, and pressed me with questions. I would not give them any +satisfactory account of myself, my wants, or intentions, being only +anxious that they might withdraw. I found them, however, too much +interested to render me some service to be easily sent away; and after +some time, thinking there would be no other way, I pretended to go away +not to return. After going some distance, and remaining some time, +thinking they had probably left the place, I returned; but to my +mortification found they had concealed themselves to see whether I would +come back. They now, more urgently than before, insisted on my removing +to some other place, where I might he comfortable. They continued to +question me; but I became distressed in a degree I cannot describe, +hardly knowing what I did. At last I called the oldest gentleman aside, +and told him something of my history. He expressed great interest for +me, offered to take me anywhere I would tell him, and at last insisted +that I should go with him to his own house. All these offers I refused; +on which one proposed to take me to the Almshouse, and even to carry me +by force if I would not go willingly. + +To this I at length consented; but some delay took place, and I became +unwilling, so that with reluctance I was taken to that institution, +which was about half a mile distant. [Footnote: See the affidavit of Mr. +Hilliker, in Appendix. The letter to which he refers I had forgotten to +mention. It contains a short account of the crimes I had witnessed in +the nunnery, and was written on paper which "little Tommy" had bought +for me.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +Reception at the Almshouse--Message from Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest in +New York--His invitations to a private interview--His claims, +propositions, and threats--Mr. Kelly's message--Effects of reading the +Bible. + +I was now at once made comfortable, and attended with kindness and care. +It is not to be expected in such a place, where so many poor and +suffering people are collected and duties of a difficult nature are to +be daily performed by those engaged in the care of the institution, that +petty vexations should not occur to individuals of all descriptions. + +But in spite of all, I received kindness and sympathy from several +persons around me, to whom I feel thankful. + +I was standing one day at the window of the room number twenty-six, +which is at the end of the hospital building, when I saw a spot I once +visited in a little walk I took from my hiding-place. My feelings were +different now in some respects, from what they had been; for, though I +suffered much from my fears of future punishment, for the sin of +breaking my Convent vows, I had given up the intention of destroying my +life. + +After I had been some time in the Institution, I found it was reported +by some about me, that I was a fugitive nun; and it was not long after, +that an Irish woman, belonging to the Institution, brought me a secret +message, which caused me some agitation. + +I was sitting in the room of Mrs. Johnson, the matron, engaged in +sewing, when that Irish woman, employed in the Institution, came in and +told me that Mr. Conroy was below, and had sent to see me. I was +informed that he was a Roman priest, who often visited the house, and he +had a particular wish to see me at that time; having come, as I believe, +expressly for that purpose, I showed unwillingness to comply with such +an invitation, and did not go. The woman told me further, that he sent +me word that I need not think to avoid him, for it would be impossible +for me to do so. I might conceal myself as well as I could, but I should +be found and taken. No matter where I went, or what hiding-place I might +choose, I should be known; and I had better come at once. He knew who I +was; and he was authorized to take me to the Sisters of Charity, if I +should prefer to join them. He would promise that I might stay with them +if I chose, and be permitted to remain in New York. He sent me word +farther, that he had received full power and authority over me from the +Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery of Montreal, and was able to do all +that she could do; as her right to dispose of me at her will had been +imparted to him by a regular writing received from Canada. This was +alarming information for me, in the weakness in which I was at that +time. The woman added, that the same authority had been given to all the +priests; so that, go where I might, I should meet men informed about me +and my escape, and fully empowered to seize me wherever they could, and +convey me back to the Convent, from which I had escaped. + +Under these circumstances, it seemed to me that the offer to place me +among the Sisters of Charity, with permission to remain in New York, was +mild and favourable. However, I had resolution enough to refuse to see +the priest Conroy. + +Not long afterward, I was informed by the same messenger, that the +priest was again in the building, and repeated his request. I desired +one of the gentlemen connected with the Institution, that a stop might +be put to such messages, as I wished to receive no more of them. A short +time after, however, the woman told me that Mr. Conroy wished to inquire +of me whether my name was not St. Eustace while a nun, and if I had not +confessed to Priest Kelly in Montreal. I answered, that it was all true; +for I had confessed to him a short time while in the nunnery. I was then +told again that the priest wanted to see me, and I sent back word that I +would see him in the presence of Mr. Tappan, or Mr. Stevens; which, +however, was not agreed to; and I was afterwards informed, that Mr. +Conroy, the Roman priest, spent an hour in a room and a passage where I +had frequently been; but through the mercy of God; I was employed in +another place at that time, and had no occasion to go where I should +have met him. I afterwards repeatedly heard, that Mr. Conroy continued +to visit the house, and to ask for me; but I never saw him. I once had +determined to leave the Institution, and go to the Sisters of Charity; +but circumstances occurred which gave me time for further reflection; +and I _was saved from the destruction to which I should have been +exposed_. + +As the period of my accouchment approached, I sometimes thought that I +should not survive it; and then the recollection of the dreadful crimes +I had witnessed in the nunnery would come upon me very powerfully, and I +would think it a solemn duty to disclose them before I died. To have a +knowledge of those things, and leave the world without making them +known, appeared to me like a great sin: whenever I could divest myself +of the impression made upon me, by the declarations and arguments of the +Superior, nuns, and priests, of the duty of submitting to every thing, +and the necessary holiness of whatever the latter did or required. + +The evening but one before the period which I anticipated with so much +anxiety, I was sitting alone, and began to indulge in reflections of +this kind. It seemed to me that I must be near the close of my life, and +I determined to make a disclosure at once. I spoke to Mrs. Ford, a woman +whose character I respected, a nurse in the hospital, in number twenty- +three. I informed her that I had no expectation of living long, and had +some things on my mind which I wished to communicate before it should be +too late. I added, that I should prefer to tell them to Mr. Tappan, the +chaplain, of which she approved, as she considered it a duty to do so +under those circumstances. I had no opportunity, however, to converse +with Mr. T. at that time, and probably my purpose, of disclosing the +facts already given in this book, would never have been executed but for +what subsequently took place. It was alarm which had led me to form +such a determination; and when the period of trial had been safely +passed, and I had a prospect of recovery, anything appeared to me more +likely than that I should make this exposure. + +I was then a Roman Catholic, at least a great part of my time; and my +conduct, in a great measure, was according to the faith and motives of a +Roman Catholic. Notwithstanding what I knew of the conduct of so many of +the priests and nuns, I thought that it had no effect on the sanctity of +the Church, or the authority or effects of the acts performed by the +former at the mass, confession, &c. I had such a regard for my vows as a +nun, that I considered my hand as well as my heart irrevocably given to +Jesus Christ, and could never have allowed any person to take it. +Indeed, to this day, I feel an instinctive aversion to offering my hand, +or taking the hand of another person, even as an expression of +friendship. I also thought that I might soon return to the Catholics, +although fear and disgust held me back. I had now that infant to think +for, whose life I had happily saved by my timely escape from the +nunnery; and what its fate might be, in case it should ever fall into +the power of the priests I could not tell. + +I had, however, reason for alarm. Would a child destined to destruction, +like the infants I had seen baptized and smothered, be allowed to go +through the world unmolested, a living memorial of the truth of crimes +long practised in security, because never exposed? What pledges could I +get to satisfy me, that I, on whom her dependence must be, would be +spared by those who I had reason to think were then wishing to sacrifice +me? How could I trust the helpless infant in hands which had hastened +the baptism of many such, in order to hurry them to the secret pit in +the cellar? Could I suppose that _Father Phelan, Priest of the Parish +Church of Montreal_, would see _his own child_ growing up in the +world, and feel willing to run the rink of having the truth exposed? +What could I expect, especially from him, but the utmost rancor, and the +most determined enmity against the innocent child and its abased and +defenceless mother? + +Yet, my mind would sometimes still incline in the opposite direction, +and indulge the thought, that perhaps the only way to secure heaven to +as both, was to throw ourselves back into the hands of the Church, to be +treated as she pleased. When, therefore, the fear of immediate death was +removed, I renounced all thoughts of communicating the substance of the +facts in this volume. It happened, however, that my danger was not +passed. I was soon seized with very alarming symptoms; then my desire to +disclose my story revived. + +I had before had an opportunity to speak in private with the chaplain; +but, as it was at a time when I supposed myself out of danger, I had +deferred for three days my proposed communication, thinking that I might +yet avoid it altogether. When my symptoms, however, became more +alarming, I was anxious for Saturday to arrive, the day which I had +appointed; and when I had not the opportunity on that day, which I +desired, I thought it might be too late. I did not see him till Monday, +when my prospects of surviving were very gloomy; and I then informed him +that I wished to communicate to him a few secrets, which were likely +otherwise to die with me. I then told him, that while a nun, in the +convent of Montreal, I had witnessed the murder of a nun, called Saint +Francis, and of at least one of the infants which I have spoken of in +this book. I added some few circumstances, and I believe disclosed, in +general terms, some of the other crimes I knew of in that nunnery. + +My anticipations of death proved to be unfounded; for my health +afterward improved, and had I not made the confessions on that occasion, +it is very possible I never might have made them. I, however, afterward, +felt more willing to listen to instruction, and experienced friendly +attentions from some of the benevolent persons around me, who, taking an +interest in me on account of my darkened understanding, furnished me +with the Bible, and were ever ready to counsel me when I desired it. + +I soon began to believe that God might have intended that his creatures +should learn his will by reading his word, and taking upon them the free +exercise of their reason, and acting under responsibility to him. + +It is difficult for one who has never given way to such arguments and +influences as those to which I had been exposed, to realize how hard it +is to think aright after thinking wrong. The Scriptures always affect me +powerfully when I read them; but I feel that I have but just begun to +learn the great truths, in which I ought to have been early and +thoroughly instructed. I realize, in some degree, how it is, that the +Scriptures render the people of the United States so strongly opposed to +such doctrines as are taught in the Black and the Congregational +Nunneries of Montreal. The priests and nuns used often to declare, that +of all heretics, the children from the United States were the most +difficult to be converted; and it was thought a great triumph when one +of them was brought over to "the true faith." The first passage of +Scripture that made any serious impression upon my mind, was the text on +which the chaplain preached on the Sabbath after my introduction into +the house--"Search the Scriptures." + +I made some hasty notes of the thoughts to which it gave rise in my +mind, and often recurred to the subject. Yet I sometimes questioned the +justice of the views I began to entertain, and was ready to condemn +myself for giving my mind any liberty to seek for information concerning +the foundations of my former faith. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Proposition to go to Montreal and testify against the priests-- +Commencement of my journey--Stop at Troy, Whitehall, Burlington, St. +Alban's, Plattsburgh, and St. John's--Arrival at Montreal--Reflections +on passing the Nunnery, &c. + + +About a fortnight after I had made the disclosures mentioned in the last +chapter, Mr. Hoyt called at the Hospital to make inquiries about me. I +was introduced to him by Mr. Tappan. After some conversation, he asked +me if I would consent to visit Montreal, and give my evidence against +the priests and nuns before a court. I immediately expressed my +willingness to do so, on condition that I should be protected. It +immediately occurred to me, that I might enter the nunnery at night, and +bring out the nuns in the cells, and possibly Jane Ray, and that they +would confirm my testimony. In a short time, arrangements were made for +our journey, I was furnished with clothes; and although my strength was +but partially restored, I set off in pretty good spirits. + +Our journey was delayed for a little while, by Mr. Hoyt's waiting to get +a companion. He had engaged a clergyman to accompany us, as I +understood, who was prevented from going by unexpected business. We went +to Troy in a steamboat; and, while there, I had several interviews with +some gentlemen who were informed of my history, and wished to see me. +They appeared to be deeply impressed with the importance of my +testimony; and on their recommendation it was determined that we should +go to St. Alban's, on our way to Montreal, to get a gentleman to +accompany us, whose advice and assistance, as an experienced lawyer, +were thought to be desirable to us in prosecuting the plan we had in +view: viz. the exposure of the crimes with which I was acquainted. + +We travelled from Troy to Whitehall in a canal packet, because the easy +motion was best adapted to my state of health. We met on board the Rev. +Mr. Sprague of New York, with whom Mr. Hoyt was acquainted, and whom he +tried to persuade to accompany us to Montreal. From Whitehall to +Burlington we proceeded in a steamboat; and there I was so much +indisposed, that is was necessary to call a physician. After a little +rest, we set off in the stage for St. Alban's; and on arriving, found +that Judge Turner was out of town. We had to remain a day or two before +he returned; and then he said it would be impossible for him to +accompany us. After some deliberation, it was decided that Mr. Hunt +should go to Montreal with us, and that Judge Turner should follow and +join us there as soon as his health and business would permit. +[Footnote: Mr. Hunt was recommended as a highly respectable lawyer; to +whose kindness, as well as that of Judge Turner, I feel myself under +obligations.] + +We therefore crossed the lake by the ferry to Plattsburgh, where, after +some delay, we embarked in a steamboat, which took us to St. John's. Mr. +Hunt, who had not reached the ferry early enough to cross with us, had +proceeded on to ----, and there got on board the steamboat in the +night. We went on to Laprairie with little delay, but finding that no +boat was to cross the St. Lawrence at that place during the day, we had +to take another private carriage to Longeuil, whence we rowed across to +Montreal by three men, in a small boat. + +I had felt quite bold and resolute when I first consented to go to +Montreal, and also during my journey: but when I stepped on shore in the +city, I thought of the different scenes I had witnessed there, and of +the risks I might run before I should leave it. We got into a caleche, +and rode along towards the hotel where we were to stop. We passed up St. +Paul's street; and, although it was dusk, I recognised every thing I had +known. We came at length to the nunnery; and then many recollections +crowded upon me. First, I saw a window from which I had sometimes looked +at some of the distant houses in that street; and I wondered whether +some of my old acquaintances were employed as formerly. But I thought if +I were once within those walls, I should be in the cells for the +remainder of my life, or perhaps be condemned to something still more +severe. I remembered the murder of St. Francis, and the whole scene +returned to me as if it had just taken place; the appearance, language, +and conduct of the persons most active in her destruction. Those persons +were now all near me, and would use all exertions they safely might, to +get me again into their power. + +And certainly they had greater reason to be exasperated against me, than +against that poor helpless nun, who had only expressed a wish to escape. +[Footnote: My gloomy feelings however did not always prevail. I had hope +of obtaining evidence to prove my charges. I proposed to my companions +to be allowed to proceed that evening to execute the plan I had formed +when a journey to Montreal had first been mentioned. This was to follow +the physician into the nunnery, conceal myself under the red calico sofa +in the sitting-room, find my way into the cellar after all was still, +release the nuns from their cells, and bring them out to confirm my +testimony. I was aware that there were hazards of my not succeeding, and +that I must forfeit my life if detected--but I was desperate; and +feeling as if I could not long live in Montreal, thought I might as well +die one way as another, and that I had better die in the performance of +a good deed. I thought of attempting to bring out Jane Ray--but that +seemed quite out of the question, as an old nun is commonly engaged in +cleaning a community-room, through which I should have to pass; and how +could I hope to get into, and out of the sleeping-room unobserved? I +could not even determine that the imprisoned nuns would follow me out-- +for they might be afraid to trust me. However, I determined to try, and +presuming my companions had all along understood and approved my plan, +told them I was ready to go at once. I was chagrined and mortified more +than I can express, when they objected, and almost refused to permit me. +I insisted and urged the importance of the step--but they represented +its extreme rashness. This conduct of theirs, for a time diminished my +confidence to them, although everybody else has approved of it.] + +When I found myself safely in Goodenough's hotel, in a retired room, and +began to think alone, the most gloomy apprehensions filled my mind. I +could not eat, I had no appetite, and I did not sleep all night. Every +painful scene that I ever passed through seemed to return to my mind; +and such was my agitation, I could fix my thoughts upon nothing in +particular. I had left New York when the state of my health was far from +being established; and my strength, as may be presumed, was now much +reduced by the fatigue of travelling. I shall be able to give but a +faint idea of the feelings with which I passed that night, but must +leave it to the imagination of my readers. Now once more in the +neighborhood of the Convent, and surrounded by the nuns and priests, of +whose conduct I had made the first disclosures ever made, surrounded by +thousands of persons devoted to them, and ready to proceed to any +outrage, as I feared, whenever their interference might be desired, +there was abundant reason for my uneasiness. + +I now began to realize that I had some attachment to life remaining. +When I consented to visit the city, and furnish the evidence necessary +to lay open the iniquity of the Convent, I had felt, in a measure, +indifferent to life; but now, when torture and death seemed at hand, I +shrunk from it. For myself, life could not be said to be of much value. +How could I be happy with such things to reflect upon as I had passed +through? and how could I enter society with gratification? But my infant +I could not abandon, for who would care for it if its mother died. + +I was left alone in the morning by the gentlemen who had accompanied me, +as they went to take immediate measures to open the intended +investigation. Being alone I thought of my own position in every point +of view, until I became more agitated than ever. I tried to think what +persons I might safely apply to as friends; and though still undecided +what to do, I arose, thinking it might be unsafe to remain any longer +exposed, as I imagined myself, to be known and seized by my enemies. + +I went from the hotel, [Footnote: It occurred to me, that I might have +been seen by some person on landing, who might recognise me if I +appeared in the streets in the same dress; and I requested one of the +female servants to lend me some of hers. I obtained a hat and shawl from +her with which I left the house. When I found myself in Notre Dame +street, the utmost indecision what to do, and the thought of my +friendless condition almost overpowered me.] hurried along, feeling as +if I were on my way to some asylum, and thinking I would first go to the +house where I had several times previously found a temporary refuge. I +did not stop to reflect that the woman was a devoted Catholic and a +friend to the Superior; but thought only of her kindness to me on former +occasions, and hastened along Notre Dame street. But I was approaching +the Seminary; and a resolution was suddenly formed to go and ask the +pardon and intercession of the Superior. Then the character of Bishop +Lartigue seemed to present an impassable obstacle; and the disagreeable +aspect and harsh voice of the man as I recalled him, struck me with +horror. I recollected him as I had known him when engaged in scenes +concealed from the eye of the world. The thought of him made me decide +not to enter the Seminary. I hurried, therefore, by the door; and the +great church being at hand, my next thought was to enter there. I +reached the steps, walked in, dipped my finger into the holy water, +crossed myself, turned to the first image I saw, which was that of Saint +Magdalen, threw myself upon my knees, and began to repeat prayers with +the utmost fervour. I am certain that I never felt a greater desire to +find relief from any of the Saints; but my agitation hardly seemed to +subside during my exercise, which continued, perhaps, a quarter of an +hour or more. I then rose from my knees, and placed myself under the +protection of St. Magdalen and St. Peter by these words: "_Je me mets +sous vôtre protection_"--(I place myself under your protection;) and +added, "_Sainte Marie, mère du bon pasteur, prie pour moi_"--(Holy +Mary, mother of the good shepherd, pray for me.) + +I then resolved to call once more at the house where I had found a +retreat after, my escape from the nunnery, and proceeded along the +streets in that direction. On my way, I had to pass a shop kept by a +woman [Footnote: This was Mrs. Tarbert.] I formerly had an acquaintance +with. She happened to see me passing, and immediately said, "Maria is +that you? Come in." + +I entered, and she soon proposed to me to let her go and tell my mother +that I had returned to the city. To this I objected. I went with her, +however, to the house of one of her acquaintances near by where I +remained some time, during which she went to my mother's and came with a +request from her, that I would have an interview with her, proposing to +come up and see me, saying that she had something very particular to say +to me. What this was, I could not with any certainty conjecture. I had +my suspicions that it might be something from the priests, designed to +get me back into their power, or, at least, to suppress my testimony. + +I felt an extreme repugnance to seeing my mother, and in the distressing +state of apprehension and uncertainty in which I was, could determine on +nothing, except to avoid her. I therefore soon left the house, and +walked on without any particular object. The weather was then very +unpleasant, and it was raining incessantly. To this I was very +indifferent, and walked on till I had got to the suburbs, and found +myself beyond the windmills. Then I returned, and passed back through +the city, still not recognised by anybody. + +I once saw one of my brothers, unless I was much mistaken, and thought +he knew me. If it was he, I am confident he avoided me, and that was my +belief at the time, as he went into a yard with the appearance of much +agitation. I continued to walk up and down most of the day, fearful of +stopping anywhere, lest I should be recognised by my enemies, or +betrayed into their power. I felt all the distress of a feeble, +terrified woman, in need of protection, and, as I thought, without a +friend in whom I could safely confide. It distressed me extremely to +think of my poor babe; and I had now been so long absent from it, as +necessarily to suffer much inconvenience. + +I recollected to have been told, in the New York Hospital, that laudanum +would relieve distress both bodily and mental, by a woman who had urged +me to make a trial of it. In my despair, I resolved to make an +experiment with it, and entering an apothecary's shop asked for some. +The apothecary refused to give me any; but an old man who was there, +told me to come in, and inquired where I had been, and what was the +matter with me, seeing that I was quite wet through. I let him know that +I had an infant, and on his urging me to tell more, I told him where my +mother lived. He went out, and soon after returned accompanied by my +mother, who told me she had my child at home, and pressed me to go to +her house and see it, saying she would not insist on my entering, but +would bring it out to me. + +I consented to accompany her; but on reaching the door, she began to +urge me to go in, saying I should not be known to the rest of the +family, but might stay there in perfect privacy. I was resolved not to +comply with this request, and resisted all her entreaties, though she +continued to urge me for a long time, perhaps half an hour. At length +she went in, and I walked away, in a state no less desperate than +before. Indeed, night was now approaching, the rain continued, and I had +no prospect of food, rest, or even shelter. I went on till I reached the +parade-ground, unnoticed, I believe, by anybody, except one man, who +asked where I was going, but to whom I gave no answer. I had told my +mother, before she had left me, that she might find me in the parade- +ground. There I stopped in a part of the open ground where there was no +probability of my being observed, and stood thinking of the many +distressing things which harassed me; suffering, indeed, from exposure +to wet and cold, but indifferent to them as evils of mere trifling +importance, and expecting that death would soon ease me of my present +sufferings. I had hoped that my mother would bring my babe to me there; +but as it was growing late, I gave up all expectation of seeing her. + +At length she came, accompanied by Mr. Hoyt, who, as I afterward learnt, +had called on her after my leaving the hotel, and, at her request, had +intrusted my child to her care. Calling again after I had left her +house, she had informed him that she now knew where I was, and consented +to lead him to the spot. I was hardly able to speak or to walk, in +consequence of the hardships I had undergone; but being taken to a small +inn, and put under the care of several women, I was made comfortable +with a change of clothes and a warm bed. [Footnote: I afterward learnt, +that the two gentlemen who accompanied me from the States, had been +seeking me with great anxiety all day. I persisted in not going to my +mother's, and that was the reason why we applied to strangers for a +lodging. For some time it appeared doubtful whether I should find any +refuge for the night, as several small inns in the neighbourhood proved +to be full. At length, however, lodgings were obtained for me in one, +and I experienced kindness from the females of the house, who put me +into a warm bed, and by careful treatment soon rendered me more +comfortable. I thought I heard the voice of a woman, in the course of +the evening, whom I had seen about the nunnery, and ascertained that I +was not mistaken. I forgot to mention, that, while preparing to leave +this house the next day, Mrs. Tarbert came in and spoke with me. She +said, that she had just come from the government-house, and asked, "What +are all those men at your mother's for? what is going on there?" I told +her I could not tell. She said, "Your mother wants to speak with you +very much." I told her I would not go to her house, for I feared there +was some plan to get me into the hands of the priests. The inn in which +I was, is one near the government-house, in a block owned by the +Baroness de Montenac, or the Baroness de Longeuil, her daughter. I think +it must be a respectable house, in spite of what Mrs. Tarbert says in +her affidavit. Mrs. Tarbert is the woman spoken of several times in the +"Sequel," without being named; as I did not know how to spell her name +till her affidavit came out.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +Received into a hospitable family--Fluctuating feelings--Visits from +several persons--Father Phelan's declarations against me in his church-- +Interviews with a Journeyman Carpenter--Arguments with him. + + +In the morning I received an invitation to go to the house of a +respectable Protestant, an old inhabitant of the city, who had been +informed of my situation; and although I felt hardly able to move, I +proceeded thither in a cariole, and was received with a degree of +kindness, and treated with such care, that I must ever retain a lively +gratitude towards the family. + +On Saturday I had a visit from Dr. Robertson, to whose house I had been +taken soon after my rescue from drowning. He put a few questions to me, +and soon withdrew. + +On Monday, after the close of mass, a Canadian man came in, and entered +into conversation with the master of the house in an adjoining room. He +was, as I understood, a journeyman carpenter, and a Catholic, and having +heard that a fugitive nun was somewhere in the city, began to speak on +the subject in French. I was soon informed that Father Phelan had just +addressed his congregation with much apparent excitement about myself; +and thus the carpenter had received his information. Father Phelan's +words, according to what I heard said by numerous witnesses at different +times, must have been much like the following:-- + +"There is a certain nun now in this city, who has left our faith, and +joined the Protestants. She has a child, of which she is ready to swear +I am the father. She would be glad in this way to take away my gown from +me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I mention +this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. The devil +has such a hold upon people now-a-days, that there is danger that some +might believe her story." + +Before he concluded his speech, as was declared, he burst into tears, +and appeared to be quite overcome. When the congregation had been +dismissed, a number of them came round him, and he told some of them, +that I was Antichrist; I was not a human being, as he was convinced, but +an evil spirit, who had got among the Catholics, and been admitted into +the nunnery, where I had learnt the rules so that I could repeat them. +My appearance, he declared, was a fulfilment of prophecy, as Antichrist +is foretold to be coming, in order to break down, if possible, the +Catholic religion. + +The journeyman carpenter had entered the house where I lodged under +these impressions, and had conversed some time on the subject, without +any suspicion that I was near. After he had railed against me with much +violence, as I afterwards learned, the master of the house informed him +that he knew something of the nun, and mentioned that she charged the +priests of the Seminary with crimes of an awful character; in reply to +which the carpenter expressed the greatest disbelief. + +"You can satisfy yourself," said the master of the house, "if you will +take the trouble to step up stairs: for she lives in my family." + +"I see her!" he exclaimed--"No, I would not see the wretched creature +for any thing. I wonder you are not afraid to have her in your house-- +she will bewitch you all--the evil spirit!" + +After some persuasion, however, he came into the room where I was +sitting, but looked at me with every appearance of dread and curiosity; +and his exclamations, and subsequent conversation, in Canadian French, +were very ludicrous. + +"Eh bien," he began on first seeing me, "c'est ici la malheureuse?" +[Well, is this the poor creature?] But he stood at a distance, and +looked at me with curiosity and evident fear. I asked him to sit down, +and tried to make him feel at his ease, by speaking in a mild and +pleasant tone. He soon became so far master of himself, as to enter into +conversation. "I understood," said he, "that she has said very hard +things against the priests. How can that be true?" "I can easily +convince you," said I, "that they do what they ought not, and commit +crimes of the kind I complain of. You are married, I suppose?" He +assented. "You confessed, I presume, on the morning of your wedding +day?" He acknowledged that he did. "Then did not the priest tell you at +confession, that he had had intercourse with your intended bride, but +that it was for her sanctification, and that you must never reproach her +with it?" + +This question instantly excited him, but he did not hesitate a moment to +answer it. "Yes," replied he; "and that looks black enough." I had put +the question to him, because I knew the practice to which I alluded had +prevailed at St. Denis while I was there, and believed it to be +universal, or at least very common in all the Catholic parishes of +Canada. I thought I had reason to presume, that every Catholic, married +in Canada, had had such experience, and that an allusion to the conduct +of the priest in this particular, must compel any of them to admit that +my declarations were far from being incredible. This was the effect on +the mind of the simple mechanic; and from that moment he made no more +serious questions concerning my truth and sincerity, during that +interview. + +Further conversation ensued, in the course of which I expressed the +willingness which I have often declared, to go into the Convent and +point out things which would confirm, to any doubting person, the truth +of my heaviest accusations against the priests and nuns. At length he +withdrew, and afterwards entered, saying that he had been to the Convent +to make inquiries concerning me. He assured me that he had been told +that although I had once belonged to the nunnery, I was called St. +Jacques, and not St. Eustace; and that now they would not own or +recognize me. Then he began to curse me, but yet sat down, as if +disposed for further conversation. It seemed, as if he was affected by +the most contrary feelings, and in rapid succession. One of the things +he said, was to persuade me to leave Montreal. "I advise you," said he, +"to go away to-morrow." I replied that I was in no haste, and might stay +a month longer. + +Then he fell to cursing me once more: but the next moment broke out +against the priests, calling them all the names he could think of. His +passion became so high against them, that he soon began to rub himself, +as the low Canadians, who are apt to be very passionate, sometimes do, +to calm their feelings, when they are excited to a painful degree. After +this explosion he again became quite tranquil, and turning to me in a +frank and friendly manner, said: "I will help you in your measures +against the priests: but tell me, first--you are going to print a book, +are you not?" "No," said I, "I have no thoughts of that." + +Then he left the house again, and soon returned, saying he had been in +the Seminary, and seen a person who had known me in the nunnery, and +said I had been only a novice, and that he would not acknowledge me now. +I sent back word by him, that I would show one spot in the nunnery that +would prove I spoke the truth. Thus he continued to go and return +several times, saying something of the kind every time, until I became +tired of him. He was so much enraged once or twice during some of the +interviews, that I felt somewhat alarmed; and some of the family heard +him swearing as he went down stairs: "Ah, sacre--that is too black!" + +He came at last, dressed up like a gentleman, and told me he was ready +to wait on me to the nunnery. I expressed my surprise that he should +expect me to go with him alone, and told him I had never thought of +going without some protector, still assuring, that with any person to +secure my return, I would cheerfully go all over the nunnery, and show +sufficient evidence of the truth of what I alleged. + +My feelings continued to vary: I was sometimes fearful, and sometimes so +courageous as to think seriously of going into the Recollet church during +mass, with my child in my arms, and calling upon the priest to own it. +And this I am confident I should have done, but for the persuasions used +to prevent me. [Footnote: I did not make up my mind (so far as I +remember), publicly to proclaim who was the father of my child, unless +required to do so, until I learnt that Father Phelan had denied it.] + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +A Milkman--An Irishwoman--Difficulty in having my Affidavit taken--Legal +objection to it when taken. + + +Another person who expressed a strong wish to see me, was an Irish +milkman. He had heard, what seemed to have been pretty generally +reported, that I blamed none but the Irish priests. He put the question, +whether it was a fact that I accused nobody but Father Phelan. I told +him that it was not so; and this pleased him so well, that he told me if +I would stay in Montreal, I should have milk for myself and my child as +long as I lived. It is well known that strong antipathies have long +existed between the French and Irish Catholics in the city. + +The next day the poor Irishman returned, but in a very different state +of mind. He was present at church in the morning, he said, when Father +Phelan told the congregation that the nun of whom he had spoken before, +had gone to court and accused him; and that he, by the power he +possessed, had struck her powerless as she stood before the judge, so +that she sunk helpless on the floor. He expressed, by the motion of his +hands, the unresisting manner in which she had sunk under the mysterious +influence, and declared that she would have died on the spot, but that +he had chosen to keep her alive that she might retract her false +accusion. This, he said, she did, most humbly, before the court; +acknowledging that she had been paid a hundred pounds as a bribe. + +The first words of the poor milkman, on revisiting me, therefore, were +like these: "That's to show you what power the priest has! Didn't he +give it to you in the court? It is to be hoped you will leave the city +now." He then stated what he had heard Father Phelan say, and expressed +his entire conviction of its truth, and the extreme joy he felt on +discovering, as he supposed he had, that his own priest was innocent, +and had gained such a triumph over me. + +A talkative Irish woman also made her appearance, among those who called +at the house, and urged for permission to see me. Said she, "I have +heard dreadful things are told by a nun you have here, against the +priests; and I have to convince myself of the truth. I want to see the +nun you have got in your house." When informed that I was unwell, and +not inclined at present to see any more strangers, she still showed much +disposition to obtain an interview. "Well, ain't it too bad," she asked, +"that there should be any reason for people to say such things against +the priests?" At length she obtained admittance to the room where I was, +entered with eagerness, and approached me. + +"Arrah," she exclaimed, "God bless you--is this you? Now sit down, and +let me see the child. And is it Father Phelan's, God bless you? But they +say you tell about murders; and I want to know if they are all committed +by the Irish priests." "Oh no," replied I, "by no means." "Then God +bless you," said she. "If you will live in Montreal, you shall never +want. I will see that neither you nor your child ever want, for putting +part of the blame upon the French priests. I am going to Father Phelan, +and I shall tell him about it. But they say you are an evil spirit. I +want to know whether it is so or not." "Come here," said I, "feel me, +and satisfy yourself. Besides, did you ever hear of an evil spirit +having a child?" + +I heard from those about me, that there was great difficulty in finding +a magistrate willing to take my affidavit I am perfectly satisfied that +this was owing to the influence of the priests to prevent my accusations +against them from been made public. One evening a lawyer, who had been +employed for the purpose, accompanied me to a French justice with an +affidavit ready prepared in English, for his signature, and informed him +that he wished him to administer to me the oath. Without any apparent +suspicion of me, the justice said, "Have you heard of the nun who ran +away from the Convent, and has come back to the city, to bear witness +against the priests?" "No matter about that now," replied the lawyer +hastily; "I have no time to talk with you--you will take this person's +oath now or not?" He could not read a word of the document, because it +was not in his own language, and soon placed his signature to the +bottom. It proved, however, that we had gained nothing by this step, for +the lawyer afterward informed us, that the laws required the affidavit +of a nun or minor to be taken before a superior magistrate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +Interview with the Attorney General of the Province--Attempt to abduct +me--More interviews--A mob excited against me--Protected by two +soldiers--Convinced that an investigation of my charges could not be +obtained--Departure from Montreal--Closing reflections. + + +Those who had advised to the course to be pursued, had agreed to lay the +subject before the highest authorities. They soon came to the conviction +that it would be in vain to look for any favour from the Governor, and +resolved to lay it before the Attorney General as soon as he should +return from Quebec. After waiting for some time, he returned; and I was +informed, in a few days, that he had appointed an interview on the +following morning. I went at the time with a gentleman of the city, to +the house of Mr. Grant, a distinguished lawyer. In a short time a +servant invited us to walk up stairs, and we went; but after I had +entered a small room at the end of the parlour, the door was shut behind +me by Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General. A chair was given me, which was +placed with the back towards a bookcase, at which a man was standing, +apparently looking at the books; and besides the two persons I have +mentioned, there was but one more in the room, [Footnote: Unless another +was concealed--as I suspected.] Mr. Grant, the master of the house. Of +the first part of the interview I shall not particularly speak. + +The two legal gentlemen at length began a mock examination of me, in +which they seemed to me to be actuated more by a curiosity no way +commendable, than a sincere desire to discover the truth, writing down a +few of my answers. In this, however, the person behind me took no active +part. One of the questions put to me was, "What are the colours of the +carpet in the Superior's room?" + +I told what they were, when they turned to him, and inquired whether I +had told the truth. He answered only by a short grunt of assent, as if +afraid to speak, or even to utter a natural tone; and at the same time, +by his hastiness, showed that he was displeased that my answer was +correct. I was asked to describe a particular man I had seen in the +nunnery, and did so. My examiner partly turned round with some remark or +question which was answered in a similar spirit. I turned and looked at +the stranger, who was evidently skulking to avoid my seeing him, and yet +listening to every word that was said. I saw enough in his appearance to +become pretty well satisfied that I had seen him before; and something +in his form or attitude reminded me strongly of the person, whose name +had been mentioned. I was then requested to repeat some of the prayers +used in the nunnery, and repeated part of the office of the Virgin, and +some others. + +At length, after I had been in the little room, as I should judge, +nearly an hour, I was informed that the examination had been +satisfactory, and that I might go. + +I then returned home; but no further step was taken by the Attorney +General, and he refused, as I understood, to return my affidavit, which +had been left in his hands to act upon. + +Besides the persons I have mentioned, I had interviews with numbers of +others. I learnt from some, that Father Phelan addressed his +congregation a second time concerning me, and expressly forbade them to +speak to me if they should have an opportunity, on pain of +excommunication. It was also said, that he prayed for the family I lived +with, that they might be converted. + +I repeated to several different persons my willingness to go into the +nunnery, and point out visible evidences of the truth of my statements; +and when I was told, by one man, who said he had been to the priests, +that I had better leave the city, or I would be clapped into prison, I +made up my mind that I should like to be imprisoned a little while, +because then, I thought I could not be refused a public examination. + +Some Canadians were present one day, when the mistress of the house +repeated, in my presence, that I was ready to go into the nunnery if +protected, and, if I did not convince others of the truth of my +assertions, that I would consent to be burned. + +"O yes, I dare say," replied one of the men--"the devil would take her +off--she knows he would. He would take care of her--we should never be +able to get her--the evil spirit!" + +A woman present said--"I could light the fire to burn you, myself." + +A woman of Montreal, who has a niece in the nunnery, on hearing of what +I declared about it, said that if it was true she would help tear it +down. + +Among those who came to see me, numbers were at first as violent as any +I have mentioned, but after a little conversation, became mild and calm. +I have heard persons declare, that it would be no harm to kill me, as I +had an evil spirit. + +One woman told me, that she had seen Father Phelan in the street, +talking with a man, to whom he said, that the people were coming to tear +down the house in which I stayed, intending afterward to set fire to it +in the cellar. This story gave me no serious alarm, for I thought I +could see through it evidence of an intention to frighten me, and make +me leave the city. [Footnote: I felt very confident, from some +circumstances, that this woman had been sent to bring such a story by +Father Phelan; and such evidence of his timidity rather emboldened me. I +was in another room when she came, and heard her talking on and abusing +me; then coming out, I said, "How dare you say I do not speak the +truth?" "God bless you," said she, "sit down and tell me all."] I was +under great apprehensions, however, one day, in consequence of an +accidental discovery of a plan laid to take me off by force. I had +stepped into the cellar to get an iron-holder, when I heard the voices +of persons in the street above, and recognised those of my mother and +the Irish woman her friend. There was another woman with them. + +"You go in and lay hold of her," said one voice. + +"No, you are her mother--you go in and bring her out--we will help you." + +I was almost overcome with dread of falling into their hands, believing +that they would deliver me up to the Superior. Hastening into a room, I +got behind a bed, told the lady of the house the cause of my fear, and +calling to a little girl to bring me my child, I stood in a state of +violent agitation. Expecting them in the house every instant, and +fearing my infant might cry, and so lead them to the place of my +concealment, I put my hand upon its mouth to keep it quiet. + +It was thought desirable to get the testimony of the mistress of the +house where I spent the night after my escape from the nunnery, as one +means of substantiating my story. I had been there the day before my +visit to the house of Mr. Grant, accompanied by a friend, and on my +first inquiring of her about my nunnery dress, she said she had carried +it to the Superior; speaking with haste, as if she apprehended I had +some object very different from what I actually had. It now being +thought best to summon her as a witness before a magistrate, and not +knowing her whole name, we set off again towards her house to make +inquiry. + +On our way we had to pass behind the parade. I suddenly heard an outcry +from a little gallery in the rear of a house which fronts another way, +which drew my attention. "There's the nun!" exclaimed a female, after +twice clapping her hands smartly together, "There's the nun, there's the +nun!" + +I looked up, and whom should I see but the Irishwoman, who had taken so +active a part, on several occasions in my affairs, on account of her +friendship for my mother--the same who had accompanied me to Longeuil in +a boat, when I set out for New York, after making arrangements for my +journey. She now behaved as if exasperated against me to the utmost; +having, as I had no doubt, learnt the object of my journey to Montreal +since I had last spoken with her, and having all her Catholic prejudices +excited. She screamed out: "There's the nun that's come to swear +against our dear Father Phelan. Arrah, lay hold, lay hold upon her! +Catch her, kill her, pull her to pieces." + +And so saying she hurried down to the street, while a number of women, +children, and some men, came running out, and pursued after me. I +immediately took to flight, for I did not know what they might do; and +she, with the rest, pursued us, until we reached two soldiers, whom we +called upon to protect us. They showed a readiness to do so; and when +they learnt that we were merely going to a house beyond, and intended to +return peaceably, consented to accompany us. The crowd, which might +rather be called a mob, thought proper not to offer us any violence in +the presence of the soldiers, and after following us a little distance, +began to drop off, until all had disappeared. One of the soldiers, +however, soon after remarked, that he observed a man following us, whom +he had seen in the crowd, and proposed that instead of both of them +going before us, one should walk behind, to guard against any design he +might have. This was done; and we proceeded to a house near the one +where I had found a refuge, and after obtaining the information we +sought, returned, still guarded by the soldiers. + +All our labour, in this, however, proved unavailing; for we were unable +to get the woman to appear in court. + +At length it was found impossible to induce the magistrates to do any +thing in the case; and arrangements were made for my return to New York. +While in the ferry-boat, crossing from Montreal to Laprairie, I happened +to be standing near two little girls, when I overheard, the following +conversation. + +"Why do you leave Montreal so soon?" + +"I had gone to spend a week or two; but I heard that Antichrist was in +the city, and was afraid to be there. So I am going right home. I would +not be in Montreal while Antichrist is there. He has come to destroy the +Catholic religion." I felt quite happy when I found myself once more +safe in New York; and it has only been since my return from Montreal, +and the conviction I had there formed, that it was in vain for me to +attempt to get a fair investigation into the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, that I +seriously thought of publishing a book. Under some disadvantages this +volume has been prepared, and unfortunately its publication has been +delayed to a season when it will be difficult to transmit it promptly to +all parts of the country. I am sure, however, that in spite of all, no +material errors will be found in it uncorrected, though many, very many, +facts and circumstances might have been added which would have proved +interesting. Indeed I am persuaded, from the experience I have already +had, that past scenes, before forgotten, will continue to return to my +memory, the longer I dwell upon my convent life, and that many of these +will tend to confirm, explain, or illustrate some of the statements now +before the public. + +But before I close this volume, I must he indulged in saying a word of +myself. The narrative through which the reader has now passed, he must +not close and lay aside as if it were a fiction; neither would I wish +him to forget the subject of it as one worthy only to excite surprise +and wonder for a moment. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +It is desired that the author of this volume may be regarded, not as a +voluntary participator in the very guilty transactions which are +described; but receive sympathy for the trials which she has endured, +and the peculiar situation in which her past experience, and escape from +the power of the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, and +the snares of the Roman priests in Canada, have left her. + +My feelings are frequently distressed, and agitated, by the recollection +of what I have passed through; and by night, and by day, I have little +peace of mind, and few periods of calm and pleasant reflection. Futurity +also appears uncertain. I know not what reception this little work may +meet with; and what will be the effect of its publication here, or in +Canada, among strangers, friends, or enemies. I have given the world the +truth, so far as I have gone, on subjects of which I am told they are +generally ignorant; and I feel perfect confidence, that any facts which +may yet be discovered, will confirm my words, whenever they can be +obtained. Whoever shall explore the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, +will find unquestionable evidence that the descriptions of the interior +of that edifice, given in this book, were furnished by one familiar with +them; for whatever alterations may be attempted, there are changes which +no mason or carpenter can make and effectually conceal; and therefore, +there must be plentiful evidence in that institution of the truth of my +description. + +There are living witnesses, also, who ought to be made to speak, without +fear of penances, tortures, and death; and possibly their testimony, at +some future time, may be added to confirm my statements. There are +witnesses I should greatly rejoice to see at liberty; or rather there +_were_. Are they living now? or will they be permitted to live +after the Priests and Superior have seen this book? Perhaps the wretched +nuns in the cells have already suffered for my sake--perhaps Jane Ray +has been silenced for ever, or will be murdered, before she has an +opportunity to add her most important testimony to mine. + +But speedy death, in respect only to this world, can be no great +calamity to those who lead the life of a nun. The mere recollection of +it always makes me miserable. It would distress the reader, should I +repeat the dreams with which I am often terrified at night; for I +sometimes fancy myself pursued by my worst enemies; frequently I seem as +if shut up again in the Convent; often I imagine myself present at the +repetition of the worst scenes that I have hinted at or described. +Sometimes I stand by the secret place of interment in the cellar; +sometimes I think I can hear the shrieks of helpless females in the +hands of atrocious men; and sometimes almost seem actually to look again +upon the calm and placid countenance of Saint Francis, as she appeared +when surrounded by her murderers. + +I cannot banish the scenes and characters of this book from my memory. +To me it can never appear like an amusing fable, or lose its interest +and importance, the story is one which is continually before me, and +must return fresh to my mind, with painful emotions, as long as I live. +With time, and Christian instruction, and the sympathy and example of +the wise and good, I hope to learn submissively to bear whatever trials +are appointed for me, and to improve under them all. + +Impressed as I continually am with the frightful reality of the painful +communications that I have made in this volume, I can only offer to all +persons who may doubt or disbelieve my statements, these two things:-- + +Permit me to go through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, with some +impartial ladies and gentlemen, that they may compare my account with +the interior parts of that building, into which no persons but the Roman +Bishop and the priests, [Footnote: I should have added, and such persons +as they introduce.] are ever admitted; and if they do not find my +description true, then discard me as an impostor. Bring me before a +court of justice--there I am willing to meet _Lartigue, Dufresne, +Phelan, Bonin_, and _Richards_, and their wicked companions, +with the Superior, and any of the nuns, before ten thousand men. + +MARIA MONK. + +_New York, 11th January, 1836._ + + + + +THE TRUTH + +of the + +"AWFUL DISCLOSURES BY MARIA MONK" + +DEMONSTRATED. + +1. _Early means used to discredit the took. Different of +objectors_.--It was anticipated that persons who know little or +nothing of the changeless spirit and uniform practices of the Papal +ecclesiastics, would doubt or deny the statements which Maria Monk has +given of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. The delineations, if true, +are so loathsome and revolting, that they exhibit the principles of the +Roman priesthood, and the corruption of the monastic system, as +combining a social curse, which must be extinguished for the welfare of +mankind. + +From the period when the intimations were first published in the +Protestant Vindicator, that a Nun had escaped from one of the Convents +in Canada, and that a narrative of the secrets of that prison-house for +females was preparing for the press; attempts have occasionally been +made to prejudice the public judgment, by fulsome eulogies of the Roman +Priests and Nuns, as paragons of immaculate perfection; and also by +infuriated denunciations and calumnies of all persons, who seriously +believe that every human institution which directly violates the +constitution of nature, and the express commands of God, must +necessarily be immoral. + +The system of seclusion and celibacy adopted in Convents is altogether +unnatural, and subverts all the appointments of Jehovah in reference to +the duties and usefulness of man; while the impenetrable secrecy, which +is the cement of the gloomy superstructure, not only extirpates every +incentive to active virtue, but unavoidably opens the flood-gates of +wickedness, without restraint or remorse, because it secures entire +impunity. + +Since the publication of the "Awful Disclosures," much solicitude has +been felt for the result of the exhibitions which they present us: but +it is most remarkable, that the incredulity is confined almost +exclusively to Protestants, or at least, to those who pretend not to be +Papists. The Roman Priests are too crafty to engage directly in any +controversy respecting the credibility of Maria Monk's narrative. As +long as they can induce the Roman Catholics privately to deny the +statements, and to vilify Christians as the inventors of falsehoods +concerning "the Holy Church and the Holy Priests!" so long will they +laugh at the censures of the Protestants; and as long as they can +influence the Editors of political papers vociferously to deny +evangelical truth, and to decry every attempt to discover the secrets of +the Romish priestcraft as false and uncharitable, so long will the +Jesuits ridicule and despise that incredulity which is at once so +blinding, deceitful, and dangerous. + +The volume entitled "Awful Disclosures by Maria Monk," has been assailed +by two classes of Objectors. Some persons affirm that they cannot, and +that they will not believe her narrative, because it is so improbable. +Who is to judge of the standard of improbabilities? Assuredly not they +who are ignorant of the whole subject to which those improbabilities +advert. Now it is certain, that persons who are acquainted with Popery, +are generally convinced, and readily agree, that Maria Monk's narrative, +is very much assimilated to the abstract view which a sound judgment, +enlightened by the Holy Scriptures, would form of that antichristian +system, as predicted by the prophet Daniel, and the apostles, Peter, +Paul, and John. + +2. _The question of Probability_.--But the question of +probabilities may be tested by another fact; and that is the full, +unshaken conviction, and the serious declaration of many persons who +have lived in Canada, that Maria Monk's allegations against the Roman +Priests and Nuns in that province, are precisely the counterpart of +their ordinary character, spirit, and practice. There are many persons +now residing in the city of New York, who long dwelt in Montreal and +Quebec; and who are thoroughly acquainted with the situation of affairs +among the Canadian Papists--and such of them as are known, with scarcely +a dissenting voice, proclaim the same facts which every traveller, who +has any discernment or curiosity, learns when he makes the northern +summer tour. It is also indubitable, that intelligent persons in Canada +generally, especially residents in Montreal and Quebec, who have no +inducement either to falsify or to conceal the truth, uniformly testify, +that the nunneries in those cities are notorious places of resort for +the Roman Priests for habitual and unrestrained licentiousness; that, +upon the payment of the stipulated price to the Chaplain, other persons, +in the disguise of Priests, are regularly admitted within the Convents +for the same infamous purpose; and that many Infants and Nuns, in +proportion to the aggregate amount of the whole body of females, are +annually murdered and buried within their precincts. All this turpitude +is as assuredly believed by the vast majority of the enlightened +Protestants, as well as by multitudes of even the Papists in Montreal +and Quebec, as their own existence; and judging from their declarations, +they have no more doubt of the fact, than they have of the summer's +sunshine, and the winter's frost and snow. Of what value, therefore, is +the cavil of ignorance respecting improbabilities? + +But it is also objected, that the British government would not tolerate +such a system of enormous wickedness. To which it is replied, that the +inordinate licentiousness of the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +demonstrated to be of long standing by the archives of that Province, as +may be seen in Smith's History of Canada; year 1733, Chapter 5, p. 194. + +The author of that work is Secretary of the Province; and his narrative +was compiled immediately from the public documents, which are under his +official guardianship and control. He thus writes:--"The irregularities +and improper conduct of the Nuns of the General Hospital had been the +subject of much regret and anxiety. Contrary to every principle of +their institution, they frequently accepted of invitations to dinners +and suppers, and mixed in society, without considering the vows which +restricted them to their Convent. The king of France directed a letter, +Maurepas' letter of April 9, 1733, to be written to the Coadjutor of +Quebec, by the minister having the department of the Marine; importing +that the king was much displeased with the Nuns--that regularity and +order might be restored by reducing the nuns to the number of twelve, +according to their original establishment--and that, as the management +and superintendence of the community had been granted to the Governor, +Prelate, and Intendant, the Coadjutor should take the necessary measures +to prevent them from repeating conduct so indecent and improper." + +The entire affair seems to have been this; that the Nuns of Quebec at +that period preferred the gallant military officers, and their +bewitching festivities, to the coarser and less diversified indulgences +of the Jesuits; upon which the latter murmured, and resolved to hinder +the soldiers from intruding into their fold, and among the cloistered +females, to visit whom they claimed as their own peculiar privilege, +inseparably attached to their priestly character and ecclesiastical +functions. It is infallibly certain that after a lapse of 100 years, +neither the Jesuits nor the Nuns in Canada, are in the smallest particle +reformed. + +The British government, by the treaty made upon the surrender of that +province to them, guarantied to the Papal Ecclesiastics, both male and +female, their prior exemptions and special immunities. Many of the +officers of the Government in Canada, who have long resided there, are +anxious to see the nunneries and their adjuncts totally extirpated; and +it may be safely asserted that they know the character given of those +institutions by Maria Monk is a graphical picture of their continuous +doings. + +The British government, for the purpose of retaining their supremacy +over the province, have not only connived at those irregularities, but +have always enjoined that the public sanction should be given to their +puerile shows, and their pageant, pompous processions by the attendance +of the civil and military officers upon them, and by desecrating the +Lord's day with martial music, &c. In this particular affair, the +executive officers of the Provincial Government are fully apprised of +all the substantial facts in the case; for an affidavit of the principal +circumstances was presented to Mr. Ogden, the Attorney General of +Canada, and to Mr. Grant, another of the King's counsellors: and +afterward Maria Monk did undergo an examination by those gentlemen, in +the house of Mr. Grant, at Montreal, in the presence of Mr. Comte, one +of the superior order of priests of that city; and of another Priest, +believed to be either Phelan or Dufresne, who was concealed behind the +sofa. + +It is also incontrovertible, that the nominal Papists in Canada, who, in +reality, are often infidels, notwithstanding their jocose sneers, and +affected contempt, do generally believe every title of Maria Monk's +narrative. This is the style in which they talk of it. They first, +according to custom, loudly curse the authors; for to find a Papist +infidel who does not break the third commandment, is as difficult as to +point out a moral Roman Priest or a chaste Nun. They first swear at the +author, and then, with a hearty laugh, add the following illustration:-- +"Everybody knows that the Priests are a jolly set of fellows, who live +well, and must have license, or they would be contrary to nature. They +have the privilege of going into the nunneries, and they would be great +fools if they did not use and enjoy it!" Such is the exact language +which is adopted among the Canadians; and such are the precise words +which have been used by Canadian gentlemen in New York, when criticising +Maria Monk's volume. It affords stronger proof than a direct +attestation. + +The other class of persons who verily believe the "Awful Disclosures," +are the religious community in Canada. We think that scarcely a well- +informed person can be discovered in Montreal or Quebec, who does not +feel assured, that the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery is most +faithfully depicted by Maria Monk. Many persons are now inhabitants of +New York who formerly resided in Montreal, some of whom have been upon +terms of familiar intimacy for years with those Roman Priests, who are +specified as the principal actors in the scenes depicted in that book; +and they most solemnly declare, that they have no doubt of the truth of +Maria Monk's narrative. + +Mr. _Samuel B. Smith_, who has been not only a Roman Priest, but +has had several _cages of nuns_ under his sole management, +questioned Maria Monk expressly respecting those affairs, customs and +ceremonies, which appertain only to nunneries, because they cannot be +practiced by any other females but those who are shut up in those +dungeons; and, after having minutely examined her, he plainly averred +that it was manifest she could not have known the things which she +communicated to him unless she had been a nun; not merely a scholar, or +a temporary resident, or even a novice, but a nun, who had taken the +veil, in the strictest sense of the appellative. This testimony is of +the more value, because the conclusion does not depend upon any +conflicting statements, of partial or prejudicial witnesses, but upon a +fact which is essential to the system of monachism; that no persons can +know all the secrets of nunneries, but the Chaplain, the Abbess, and +their accomplices in that "mystery of iniquity." Mr. Smith's declaration +in one other respect is absolutely decisive. He has declared not only +that Maria Monk has been a nun, but also that the descriptions which she +gives are most minutely accurate. + +Mr. Smith also testifies that the account which Maria Monk gives of the +proceedings of the priests, the obscene questions which they ask young +females, and their lewd practices with them at auricular confession, are +constantly exemplified by the Roman Priests; and he also confirms her +statements, by the testimony of his own individual experience, and +actual personal acquaintance with the Canadian nunneries, as well as +with those in the United States, and especially of that at Monroe, +Michigan, which was dissolved by Mr. Fenwick, on account of scandalous +impurity, several years ago. + +Mrs. ----, a widow lady now in New York, who formerly was a Papist in +Montreal, and was recently converted to Christianity, solemnly avers, +that the Priest Richards himself, conducted her from the Seminary +through the subterraneous passage to the nunnery, and describes the +whole exactly in accordance with the statement of Maria Monk. + +_Mr. Lloyd_, who was in business a number of years adjacent to the +nunnery, and who is intimately acquainted with those priests, their +characters, principles, and habits, avows his unqualified conviction of +the truth of the "Awful Disclosures." + +_Mr. Hogan_, who was eighteen months in the Jesuit Seminary at +Montreal, and in constant intercourse and attendance upon Lartigue and +his accomplices, unequivocally affirms, that Maria Monk's complex +description of those Priests are most minutely and accurately true. + +One hundred other persons probably can be adduced, who, during their +residence in Canada, or on their tours to that province, by inquiries +ascertained that things in accordance with Maria Monk's delineations are +the undoubted belief of each class of persons, and of every variety of +condition, and in all places which they visited in Lower Canada. + +_Mr. Greenfield_, the father of the gentleman who owns the two +steamboats on the river St. Lawrence, called the Lady of the Lake, and +the Canadian Eagle, who is a citizen of New York, avows his unqualified +assent to all Maria Monk's statements, and most emphatically adds-- +_"Maria Monk has not disclosed one tenth part of the truth respecting +the Roman Priests and Nuns in Canada."_ + +Fifty other persons from that province, now residing in New York, +likewise attest the truth of the "Disclosures." + +At Sorel, Berthier, and Three Rivers, the usual stopping-places for the +steamboats on the River St. Lawrence, the Priests, if they have any +cause to be at the wharf, may be seen accompanied by one or more +children, their _"Nephews,"_ as the Priests _facetiously_ +denominate their offspring; and if any person on the steamboat should be +heard expatiating upon the piety, the temperance, the honesty, or the +purity of Roman Priests and Nuns, he would be laughed at outright, +either as a _natural_ or an ironical jester; while the priest +himself would join in the merriment, as being a "capital joke." + +We are assured by the most indisputable authority in Montreal, that the +strictly religious people in that city do generally credit Maria Monk's +statements without hesitation; and the decisive impression of her +veracity can never be removed. If it were possible at once to reform the +nunneries, and to transform them from castles of ignorance, uncleanness, +and murder, where all their arts are concealed in impervious secrecy, +into abodes of wisdom, chastity, and benevolence to every recess of +which all persons, at every hour, might have unrestricted admission-- +that would not change the past; it would leave them indelibly branded +with the emphatical title applied to the nunnery at Charlestown, +"FILTHY, MURDEROUS DENS." + +3. _Who are those who deny the truth of the book? Case of Father +Conroy. Father Conroy's deception._ + +In addition to the objections from improbability, another series of +opposition consists of flat, broad denials of the truth of Maria Monk's +"Awful Disclosures." This mode of vanquishing direct charges is even +more invalid than the former futile cavilling. It is also remarkable, +when we remember who are the persons that deny the statements made by +Maria Monk. Are they the Roman Priests implicated? Not at all. They are +too crafty. The only persons who attempt to hint even a suspicion of the +truth of the secrets divulged in the "Awful Disclosures," are editors of +Newspapers: some of whom are ever found on the side of infidelity and +vice; men always reproaching religion; and directly calumniating, or +scornfully ridiculing the best Christians in the land; and profoundly +ignorant of Popery and Jesuitism, and the monastic system. + +It is true that Priest Conroy of New York, has contradicted in general +terms the truth of the statement respecting himself, and his attempt to +abduct Maria Monk from the Almshouse. But what does he deny? He is +plainly charged, in the "Awful Disclosures," with a protracted endeavor, +_by fraud or by force to remove Maria Monk from that institution_. +Now that charge involves a flagrant misdemeanor, or it is a wicked and +gross libel. Let him answer the following questions: + +Did he not frequently visit the house, and lurk about at various times, +for longer and shorter periods, expressly to have an interview with +Maria Monk? + +Did he not state that he was acquainted with her by the name she bore in +the nunnery, _Sainte Eustace_. + +Did he not declare that he was commissioned by Lartigue, Phelan, +Dufresne, Kelly, and the Abbess of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, +to obtain a possession of her, that she might be sent back to the abode +of the Furies? + +Did he not offer her any thing she pleased to demand, provided she would +reside with the Ursulines of this city? + +Did he not also declare that he would have her at all risks, and that +she could not escape him? + +Did he not persevere in this course of action, until he was positively +assured that she would not see him, and that the Priest Conroy should +not have access to Maria Monk? + +Was not the priest Kelly, from Canada, in New York at that period, +prompting Conroy; and did not that same Kelly come on here expressly to +obtain possession of Maria Monk, that he might carry her back to the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery, there to murder her, as his accomplices have +smothered, poisoned, and bled to death other victims of their beastly +licentiousness? + +All these questions are implied in Maria Monk's statement, and they +involve the highest degree of crime against the liberty, rights, and +life of Maria Monk, and the laws of New York, and the charge is either +true or false. Why does not the Priest Conroy try it? Why does he not +demonstrate that he is calumniated, by confronting the Authoress and +Publishers of the book before an impartial jury. We are assured that the +Executive committee of the New York Protestant Association will give ten +dollars to any Lawyer, whom Mr. Conroy will authorize to institute a +civil suit for libel, payable at the termination of the process. Will he +subject the question to that scrutiny? _Never_. He would rather +follow the example of his fellow priests, and depart from New York. Many +of the Maynooth Jesuits, after having fled from Ireland for their +crimes, to this country, to avoid the punishments due to them for the +repetition of them in the United States, and to elude discovery, have +assumed false names and gone to France; or in disguise have joined their +dissolute companions in Canada. + +It is also a fact, that the Priest, named Quarter, with one of his +minions, did visit the house where Maria Monk resides, on the 13th day +of February, 1836; and did endeavor to see her alone, under the false +pretext of delivering to her a packet from her brother in Montreal; and +as an argument for having an interview with her without company, one of +the two impostors did protest that he had a parcel from John Monk; which +"he had sworn not to deliver except into the hands of his sister in +person." Now what object had Mr. Quarter in view; and what was his +design in going to her residence between nine and ten o'clock at night, +under a lying pretence? Mr. Quarter comes from Canada. He knows all the +Priests of Montreal. For what purpose did he assume a fictitious +character, and utter base and wilful falsehoods, that, he might have +access to her, with another man, when Maria Monk, as they hoped, would +be without a protector? For what ignoble design did he put an old Truth +Teller into a parcel, and make his priest-ridden minion declare that it +was a very valuable packet of letters from John Monk? That strange +contrivance requires explanation. Did Priest Quarter believe that Maria +Monk was in Montreal? Did he doubt her personal identity? Does not that +fact alone verity that all the Roman Priests are confederated? Does it +not prove that her delineations are correct? Does it not evince that the +Papal Ecclesiastics dread the disclosures? + +4. _The great ultimate test which the nature of this case demands. +Challenge of the New York Protestant Association_.--It is readily +admitted, that the heinous charges which are made by Maria Monk against +the Roman priests cannot easily be rebutted in the usual form of +disproving criminal allegations. The denial of those Priests is good for +nothing, and they cannot show an alibi. But there is one mode of +destroying Maria Monk's testimony, equally _prompt_ and +_decisive_, and no other way is either feasible, just, or can be +efficient. That method is the plan proposed by the New York Protestant +Association. + +The Hotel Dieu Nunnery is in Montreal. Here is Maria Monk's description +of its interior apartments and passages. She offers to go to Montreal +under the protection of a committee of four members of the New York +Protestant Association, and in company with four gentlemen of Montreal, +to explore the Nunnery; and she also voluntarily proposes that if her +descriptions of the interior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery are not found to +be true, she will surrender herself to Lartigue and his confederates to +torture her in what way they may please, or will bear the punishment of +the civil laws as a base and wilful slanderer of the Canadian Jesuit +Ecclesiastics. + +When Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, Phelan, Richards, and their fellows, +accede to this proposition, we shall hesitate respecting Maria Monk's +veracity; until then, by all impartial and intelligent judges, and by +enlightened Protestants and Christians, the "Awful Disclosures" will be +pronounced undeniable facts. The scrutiny, however, respecting Maria +Monk's credibility comprises two general questions, to which we shall +succinctly reply. + +1. _Was Maria Monk a Nun in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal?_-- +In ordinary cases, to dispute respecting a circumstance of that kind +would be deemed a most strange absurdity; and almost similar to an +inquiry into a man's personal identity when his living form is before +your eyes. Maria Monk says she was a nun, presents you a book +descriptive of the Convent in which she resided, and leaves the fact of +her abode there to be verified by the minute accuracy of her +delineations of arcana, with which only the visiting Roman Priests and +the imprisoned nuns are acquainted. That test, neither Lartigue nor the +Priests will permit to be applied; and therefore, so far, Maria Monk's +testimony cannot directly be corroborated. It is however not a little +remarkable, that no one of all the persons so boldly impeached by her of +the most atrocious crimes, has, even whispered a hint that she was not a +nun; while the priest Conroy has confirmed that fact far more certainly +than if he had openly asserted its truth. + +5. _The Testimony of Mrs. Monk considered._--The only evidence +against that fact is her mother. Now it is undeniable, that her mother +is a totally incompetent witness. She is known in Montreal to be a woman +of but little principle; and her oath in her daughter's favour would be +injurious to her; for she is so habitually intemperate, that it is +questionable whether she is ever truly competent to explain any matters +which come under her notice. Truth requires this declaration, although +Maria, with commendable filial feelings, did not hint at the fact. +Besides, during a number of years past, she has exhibited a most +unnatural aversion, or rather animosity, to her daughter; so that to her +barbarous usage of Maria when a child, may be imputed the subsequent +scenes through which she has passed. When appealed to respecting her +daughter, her uniform language was such as this--"I do not care what +becomes of her, or who takes her, or where she goes, or what is done to +her, provided she keeps away from me." It is also testified by the most +unexceptionable witnesses in Montreal, that when Maria Monk went to that +city in August, 1835, and first made known her case, that Mrs. Monk +repeatedly declared, that her daughter had been a Nun; and that she had +been in the Nunneries at Montreal a large portion of her life. She also +avowed, that the offer of bribery that had been made unto her, had been +made, not by Protestants, to testify that her daughter Maria had been an +inmate of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery; but by the Roman Priests, who had +promised her one hundred dollars, if she would make an affidavit that +Maria had not been in that nunnery at all; and would also swear to any +other matters which they dictated. Now there is little room for doubt, +that the affidavit to the truth of which she finally swore was thus +obtained; for she has not capacity to compose such a narrative, nor has +she been in a state of mind, for a number of years past, to understand +the details which have thus craftily been imposed upon the public in her +name. When she had no known inducement to falsify the fact in August, +1835, before the Priests became alarmed, then she constantly affirmed +that her daughter had been a Nun; but after Lartigue and his companions +were assured that her daughter's narrative would appear, then the mother +was probably bribed, formally to swear to a wilful falsehood; for it is +most probable, that she either did not see, or from intoxication could +not comprehend, the contents of the paper to which her signature is +affixed. Her habitual intemperance, her coarse impiety, her long- +indulged hatred and cruelty towards her daughter, and her flat self- +contradictions, with her repeated and public declarations, that she had +been offered a large sum of money by the Montreal Priests, thus to +depreciate her daughter's allegations, and to attest upon oath precisely +the contrary to that which she had previously declared, to persons whose +sole object was to ascertain the truth--all those things demonstrate +that Mrs. Monk's evidence is of no worth; and yet that is all the +opposite evidence which can be adduced. + +6. _Testimony in favour of the book_.--Mr. Miller the son of Adam +Miller, a well known teacher at St. John's, who has known Maria Monk +from her childhood, and who is now a resident of New York, solemnly +attests, that in the month of August, 1833, he made inquiries of Mrs. +Monk respecting her daughter Maria, and that Mrs. Monk informed him that +Maria was then a _Nun!_ that she had taken the veil previous to +that conversation, and that she had been in the nunnery for a number of +years. Mr. Miller voluntarily attests to that fact. He was totally +ignorant of Maria Monk's being out of the Nunnery at Montreal, until he +saw her book, and finally by searching out her place of abode, renewed +the acquaintance with her which had existed between them from the period +when she attended his father's school in her childhood. See the +affidavit of William Miller. + +When Maria Monk made her escape, as she states, from the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, she took refuge in the house of a woman named Lavalliere in +Elizabeth street, Montreal, the second or third door from the corner of +what is commonly called "the Bishop's Church." Madame Lavalliere +afterward admitted, that Maria Monk did arrive at her house at the time +specified, in the usual habiliments of a Nun, and made herself known as +an eloped Nun; that she provided her with other clothing; and that she +afterward carried the Nun's garments to the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +After her escape, Maria Monk narrates that she went on board a steamboat +for Quebec, intending thereby to avoid being seized and again +transferred to the Nunnery, that she was recognised by the Captain, was +kept under close watch during the whole period of the stay of that boat +at Quebec, and merely by accident escaped the hands of the Priests, by +watching for an unexpected opportunity to gain the shore during the +absence of the Captain, and the momentary negligence of the female +attendant in the cabin. The woman was called Margaret ----, the other +name is forgotten. The name of the Master of the steamboat is probably +known and he has never pretended to deny that statement, that he did +thus detain Maria Monk, would not permit her to go on shore at Quebec, +and that he also conducted her back to Montreal; having suspected or +ascertained that she was a Nun who had clandestinely escaped from a +Convent. + +7. _Corroborative evidence unintentionally furnished by the opponents +of the book_.--After her flight from the steamboat, she was found +early in the morning, in a very perilous situation, either on the banks, +or partly in Lachine Canal, and was committed to the public prison by +Dr. Robertson, whence she was speedily released through the intervention +of Mr. Esson, one of the Presbyterian ministers of Montreal. Upon this +topic, her statement coincides exactly with that of Dr. Robertson. + +But he also states--"Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria +Monk's story, I thought it incumbent upon me to make some inquiry +concerning it, and have ascertained where she has been residing a great +part of the time she states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During +the summer of 1832, she was at service at William Henry; the winters of +1832-3, she passed in this neighborhood at St. Ours and St. Denis." + +That is most remarkable testimony, because, although Papists may justly +be admitted to know nothing of times and dates, unless by their +Carnivals, their Festivals, their Lent, or their Penance--yet Protestant +Magistrates might be more precise. Especially, as it is a certain fact, +that no person at Sorel can be discovered, who is at all acquainted with +such a young woman in service in the summer of 1832. It is true, she did +reside at St. Denis or St. Ours, as the _Roman Priests can +testify_; but not at the period specified by Dr. Robertson. + +For the testimony of a decisive witness in favour of Maria Monk, see the +statement of an old schoolmate in Appendix. + +8. _Summary view of the evidence_.--Let us sum up this +contradictory evidence respecting the simple fact, whether Maria Monk +was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery or not? + +Her mother says--"I denied that my daughter had ever been in a Nunnery." +Dr. Robertson informed us--"I have ascertained where she has been +residing a great part of the time she states having been an inmate of +the Nunnery." That is all which can be adduced to contradict Maria +Monk's statement. + +This is a most extraordinary affair, that a young woman's place of abode +cannot be accurately discovered during several years, when all the +controversy depends upon the fact of that residence. Why did not Dr. +Robertson specify minutely with whom Maria Monk lived at service at +William Henry, in the summer of 1832?--Why did not Dr. Robertson exactly +designate where, and with whom, she resided at St. Denis and St. Ours, +in the winters of 1832 and 1833? The only answer to these questions is +this--_Dr. Robertson cannot_. He obtained his contradictory +information most probably from her mother, or from the Priest Kelly, and +then embodied it in his affidavit to regain that favour and popularity +with the Montreal Papists which he has so long lost. We are convinced +that neither the evidence of Mrs. Monk, nor Dr. Robertson, would be of a +feather's weight in a court of justice against the other witnesses, Mrs. +----, and Mr. William Miller. + +Maria Monk asserts, that she was a resident of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery +during the period designated by Dr. Robertson, which is familiarly +denominated the Cholera summer. In her narrative she develops a variety +of minute and characteristic details of proceedings in that Institution, +connected with things which all persons in Montreal know to have +actually occurred, and of events which it is equally certain did happen, +and which did not transpire anywhere else; and which is impossible could +have taken place at Sorel or William Henry; because there is no Nunnery +there; and consequently her descriptions would be purely fabricated and +fictitious. + +But the things asserted are not inventions of imagination. No person +could thus delineate scenes which he had not beheld; and therefore Maria +Monk witnessed them; consequently, she was a member of that family +community; for the circumstances which she narrates nowhere else +occurred. At all events, it seems more reasonable to suppose that an +individual can more certainly tell what had been his own course of life, +than persons who, by their own admission, know nothing of the subject; +and especially when her statements are confirmed by such unexceptionable +witnesses. There are, however, two collateral points of evidence which +strongly confirm Maria Monk's direct statements. One is derived from the +very character of the acknowledgments which she made, and the period +when they were first disclosed. "A death-bed," says the Poet, "is a +detector of the heart." Now it is certain, that the appalling facts +which she states, were not primarily made in a season of hilarity, or +with any design to "make money" by them, or with any expectation that +they would be known to any other person than Mr. Hilliker, Mr. Tappan, +and a few others at Bellevue; but when there was no anticipation that +her life would be prolonged, and when agonized with the most dreadful +retrospection and prospects. + +It is not possible to believe, that any woman would confess those facts +which are divulged by Maria Monk, unless from dread of death and the +judgment to come, or from the effect of profound Christian penitence. +Feminine repugnance would be invincible. Thus, the alarm of eternity, +her entrance upon which appeared to be so immediate, was the only cause +of those communications; which incontestably prove, that Nunneries are +the very nurseries of the most nefarious crimes, and the most abandoned +transgressors. + +The other consideration is this--that admitting the statements to be +true, Maria Monk could not be unconscious of the malignity of Roman +Priests, and of her own danger; and if her statements were fictitious, +she was doubly involving herself in irreparable disgrace and ruin. In +either case, as long as she was in New York she was personally safe; and +as her disclosures had been restricted to very few persons, she might +have withdrawn from the public institution, and in privacy have passed +away her life, "alike unknowing and unknown." Lunacy itself could only +have instigated a woman situated as she was, to visit Montreal, and +there defy the power, and malice, and fury of the Roman Priests, and +their myrmidons; by accumulating upon them charges of rape, infanticide, +the affliction of the tortures of the Inquisition, and murders of cold- +blooded ferocity in the highest degree, with all the atrocious +concomitant iniquities which those prolific sins include. + +Now it is certain, that she was not deranged; and she was not forced. +She went deliberately, and of her own accord, to meet the Popish Priests +upon the spot where their crimes are perpetrated, and the stronghold of +their power. Whether that measure was the most prudent and politic for +herself, and the most wise and efficient for the acquisition of the +avowed object, may be disputed; but the exemplary openness and the +magnanimous daring of that act cannot be controverted. + +The narrative, pages 116 to l27, respecting the cholera and the election +riots at Montreal, both which scenes happened at the period when Dr. +Robertson says Maria Monk was at William Henry, or St. Denis, or St. +Ours; could not have been described, at least that part of it respecting +the wax candles, and the preparation for defence, except by a resident +of the Nunnery. + +It is a public, notorious fact, that "blessed candles" were made, and +sold by the Nuns, and used at Montreal under the pretext to preserve the +houses from the Cholera, and to drive it away; that those candles were +directed so to be kept burning by the pretended injunction of the Pope; +and that large quantities of the Nunnery candles were dispersed about +Montreal and its vicinity, which were fixed at a high price; and whoever +suffered by the Cholera, the Nuns and their Masters, the Priests, could +truly say--"By this craft we have our wealth." Acts 19:25. It is +obvious, that a young Papist woman at service at William Henry, could +know no more of those matters, than if she had been at Labrador; for the +incidental remark with which that part of the narrative commences, is +one of those apparently superfluous intimations, which it is evident a +person who was writing a fiction would not introduce; and yet it is so +profoundly characteristic of a Canadian Convent, that its very simple +artlessness at once obliterates Dr. Robertson's affidavit. "There were a +few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing that was +happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not extend out +of the city." We cannot be infallibly certain of Maria Monk's +description of the interior of the Nunnery; but that unpremeditated +remark, so minutely descriptive of the predominating ignorance among the +Nuns of all terrestrial concerns exterior of the Convent, is +satisfactory proof that the narrator was not sketching from fancy, but +depicting from actual life. + +From those testimonies, direct and unintentional, it is fully evident, +that Maria Monk was a long resident, and is profoundly acquainted with +the doings in the Hotel Dieu Convent at Montreal. + +II. What collateral evidence can be adduced of the truth of the "Awful +Disclosures" by Maria Monk? + +1. One corroborative testimony is derived from the _silence of the +Roman Priests and their avowed partisans_. Months have passed away +since the first statements of those matters were made, and also the +defence of the Priests, with the affidavits and other connected +circumstances, were presented to the public in the Protestant +Vindicator. One of the persons in Montreal, who was in favour of the +Jesuits, Mr. Doucet, stated that "the Priests never take up such things; +they allow their character to defend itself." There was a time when that +contemptuous course would have sufficed, or rather, when to have spoken +the truth of the Roman Priests would have cost a man his life, and +overwhelmed his family in penury, disgrace, and anguish. The Canadian +Jesuits may be assured that time has passed away, never more to return. +They must take up this thing; for their characters cannot defend +themselves; and every enlightened man in Canada knows, that in a moral +aspect, they cannot be defended. + +Argument, denial, affidavits, if they could reach from Montreal to New +York, and the oaths of every Papist and Infidel in Canada,--from Joseph +Signay, the Popish Prelate of Quebec and Jean Jacques Lartigue, the +Suffragan of Montreal, down to the most profligate of the half-pay +military officers, among whom are to be found some of the dregs of the +British army, all of them will avail nothing. They are not worth a puff +of wind against the internal evidence of Maria Monk's book, in connexion +with the rejection of the proposal of the New York Protestant +Association, that the Nunnery shall undergo a strict and impartial +examination. It is one of the remarkable evidences of the extraordinary +delusion which blinds, or the infatuation which enchains the public +mind, that men will not credit the corruptions and barbarities of +Romanism. To account for this stupefaction among persons who are wide +awake to every other system of deadly evil, is almost impossible. Popery +necessarily extirpates the rights of man. It ever has destroyed the +well-being of society. By it, all municipal law and domestic obligations +are abrogated: It always subverts national prosperity and stability; and +it is the invincible extinguisher of all true morality and genuine +religion. Notwithstanding, men will give credence neither to its own +avowed principles, character, and spirit; nor to the unavoidable effects +which constantly have flowed from its operations and predominance. + +In any other case but one exposing the abominations of Popery, such a +volume as Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" would have been received +without cavil; and immediate judicial measures would have been adopted, +to ascertain the certainty of the alleged facts, and the extent and +aggravation of their criminality. But now persons are calling for more +evidence, when, if they reflected but for a moment, they would perceive, +that the only additional evidence possible, is under the entire control +of the very persons who are criminated; and to whom the admission of +further testimony would be the accumulation of indelible ignominy. + +The pretence, that it is contrary to their rules to allow strangers to +explore the interior of a nunnery, only adds insult to crime. Why should +a Convent be exempt from search, more than any other edifice? Why should +Roman Priests be at liberty to perpetrate every deed of darkness in +impenetrable recesses called nunneries? Why should one body of females, +shut up in a certain species of mansion, to whom only one class of men +have unrestricted access, be excluded from all public and legal +supervision, more than any other habitation of lewd women, into which +all men may enter? As citizens of the United States, we do not pretend +to have any authoritative claim to explore a convent within the dominion +of a foreign potentate. The Roman Priests of Canada, exercise a vast +influence, and are completely intertwined with the Jesuits, in this +republic. Therefore, when they remember the extinction of the nunneries +at Monroe, Michigan, Charlestown, and Pittsburg; and when they +recollect, that the delineations of Maria Monk, if they produce no +effect in Canada, will assuredly render female convents in the United +States very suspicious and insecure; if they have any solicitude for +their confederates, they will intrepidly defy research, and dauntlessly +accept the offer of the New York Protestant Association: that a joint +committee of disinterested, enlightened and honorable judges, should +fully investigate, and equitably decide upon the truth or falsehood of +Maria Monk's averments. Their ominous silence, their affected contempt, +and their audacious refusal, are calculated only to convince every +impartial person, of even the smallest discernment, of the real state of +things in that edifice; that the chambers of pollution are above, and +that the dungeon of torture and death are below; and that they dread the +exposure of the theatre on which their horrible tragedies are performed. + +It is also a fact publicly avowed by certain Montreal Papists +themselves, and extensively told in taunt and triumph, that they have +been employed as masons and carpenters by the Roman Priests, since Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal in August, 1835, expressly to alter various +parts of the Hotel Dieu Convent, and to close up some of the +subterraneous passages and cells in that nunnery. This circumstance is +not pretended even to be disputed or doubted; for when the dungeons +under ground are spoken of before the Papists, their remark is this: "Eh +bien! mais vous ne les trouverez pas, à present; on les a caché hors de +vue. Very well, you will not find them there now; they are closed up, +and out of sight." Why was the manoeuvre completed? Manifestly, that in +urgent extremity, a casual explorer might be deceived, by the apparent +proof that the avenues, and places of imprisonment and torture which +Maria Monk describes are not discoverable. Now that circumstance might +not even been suspected, if the Papist workmen themselves had not openly +boasted of the chicanery by which the Priests, who employed them, +expected to blind and deceive the Protestants. For in reference to the +Romanists, a Popish Priest well knows that nothing more is necessary +than for him to assert any absurdity, however gross or impossible, and +attest it by the five crosses on his vestments, and his own +superstitious vassal believes it with more assurance than his own +personal identity. But the filling up and the concealment of the old +apertures in the nunnery, by the order of the Roman Priests are scarcely +less powerful corroborative proof of Maria Monk's delineations, than +ocular and palpable demonstration. + +2. Some of the circumstances attending Maria Monk's visit to Montreal, +in August, 1835, add great weight in favour of the truth, which no +cavils, skepticism, scorn, nor menaces, can counterbalance. + +We will however state one very recent occurrence, because it seems to +us, that it alone is almost decisive of the controversy. A counsellor of +Quebec--his name is omitted merely from delicacy and prudential +considerations--has been in New York since the publication of the "Awful +Disclosures" His mind was so much influenced by the perusal of that +volume, that he sought out the Authoress, and most closely searched into +the credibility of her statements. Before the termination of the +interview, that gentleman became so convinced of the truth of the +picture which Maria Monk drew of the interior of the Canadian Nunneries, +that he expressed himself to the following effect:--"My daughter, about +15 years of age, is in the Ursuline Convent at Quebec. I will return +home immediately; and if I cannot remove her any other way, I will drag +her out by the hair of her head, and raise a noise about their ears that +shall not soon be quieted." + +That gentleman did so return to Quebec, since which he has again visited +New York; and he stated, that upon his arrival in Quebec, he went to the +Convent, and instantly removed his daughter from the Ursuline Nunnery; +from whom he ascertained, as far as she had been initiated into the +mysteries, that Maria Monk's descriptions of Canadian Nunneries, are +most minutely and undeniably accurate. + +We have already remarked, that Mrs. ----, Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Hogan, and Mr. +Smith, who was a Papist Priest, with scores of other persons who +formerly resided in Montreal, all express their unqualified belief of +the statements made by Maria Monk. Mr. Ogden's acquaintance with the +facts, as Attorney General, and that of other officers of the Provincial +Government, have also been noticed. The ensuing additional circumstances +are of primary importance to a correct estimate of the value which +should be attached to the crafty silence of the Roman Priests and the +impudent denials of infidel profligates. + +Mr. Bouthillier, one of the Montreal Magistrates, called at Mr. +Johnson's house where Maria Monk stayed, in the month of August, 1835, +when visiting Montreal. + +He addressed her and said:--"There is some mystery about Novices--What +is it? and asked how long a woman must be a novice before she can take +the veil?" Having been answered, Mr. Bouthillier then desired Maria Monk +to describe the Superior of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. As soon as it was +done, he became enraged, and said--"Vous dites un mensonge, vous en +savez. You lie, you know you do?"--Mr. Bouthillier next inquired--"Was +Mr. Tabeau in the Holy Retreat when you left the Convent?" She answered +"Yes." To which he replied in French--"Anybody might have answered that +question." Something having been said about the Hotel Dieu Nuns being +confined to their convent, Mr. Bouthillier declared, that they were +allowed to go about the streets. He was told that could not be the case, +for it was a direct violation of the rules for Nuns to depart from the +Hotel Dieu Nunnery. He replied--"Ce n'est pas vrai. That is not true," +Mr. Bonthillier then became very angry, and applied to Maria Monk some +very abusive epithets, for which a gentleman in the room reproved him. +It was evident, that he lost his temper because he had lost his +argument, and his hopes of controverting her statements. + +On the Lord's day after Maria Monk's arrival in Montreal, and when the +matter had become well known and much talked about, Phelan, the Priest, +at the end of mass, addressed the Papists, who were assembled to hear +mass, to this effect: "There is a certain nun in this city who has left +our faith, and joined the Protestants. She has a child of which she is +ready to swear I am the father. She wishes in this way to take my gown +from me. If I knew where to find her, I would put her in prison. I +mention this to guard you against being deceived by what she may say. +The Devil now has such hold upon people that there is danger lest some +might believe her story." He then pretended to weep, and appeared to be +overcome with feeling. A number of the people gathered around him, and +he said: "That nun is Antichrist. She is not a human being, but an evil +spirit, who got among the Catholics, and _was admitted into the +nunnery_, where she learned the rules." He also stated, that "in that +nun, the prophecy respecting the coming of Antichrist is fulfilled, to +break down the Catholic religion." Such was Phelan's address to the +people. He declared that Maria Monk had been a nun. Now he knew her, for +he saw her in Montreal, where she could not know him. It would have +saved all further inquiry and research, if, instead of denouncing her +after mass, he had merely assented to Maria Monk's proposition, to be +confronted with those Roman Priests and nuns before impartial witnesses +in the Hotel Dieu Convent. + +One of the most impressively characteristic circumstances which occurred +during Maria Monk's visit to Montreal in Aug. 1835, was an interview at +Mr. Johnson's house with a carpenter who had heard Phelan's denunciation +of Maria Monk after mass. + +The heinous destruction of all domestic confidence and of all female +purity, is known to be the constant and general practice, not only in +Canada, but in all other Popish countries, and among Papists in every +part of the world. For in truth it is only fulfilling the authentic +dogmas of their own system. The following authoritative principles are +divulged in the Corpus Juris Canonici, which contains the Decretals, +Canons, &c. of the Popes and Councils; and other participants of the +pretended Papal infallibility. "If the Pope fall into homicide or +adultery, he cannot be accused, but is excused by the murders of Samson, +and the adultery of David." Hugo, Glossa, distinc. 40 Chapter, Non vos. +--"Likewise if any Priest is found embracing a woman, it must be +presupposed and expounded that he doth it to bless her!"--Glossa, Caus. +12. Quest. 3. Chapter Absis. According to the Pope's bull he who does +not believe those doctrines is accursed. + +As that carpenter was completely overcome by the recollection of the +Priest's information and caution about his marriage, he desisted from +any further questions; but upon Maria Monk's declaration, that she was +desirous to go into the convent, and prove all her accusations against +the Priests and Nuns, he withdrew. Soon after he returned, and stated, +that he had been to the Convent, to inquire respecting her; and that he +had been informed, that she had once belonged to the Nunnery; but that +they would not any longer own or recognise her. Afterwards he exhibited +the most contradictory emotions, and first cursed Maria Monk; then +reviled the Priests, applying to them all the loathsome epithets in the +Canadian vocabulary. Subsequently, he went to make inquiries at the +Seminary; and after his return to Mr. Johnson's house he declared, that +the persons there had informed him, that Maria Monk had lived in the +Nunnery, but not as a Nun; then he offered to assist her in her +endeavours to expose the Priests; and finally disappeared, swearing +aloud as he was retiring from the house; and apparently thinking over +the conduct of the Priest to his wife before their marriage. "Oh, +sacre!"--he repeated to himself--"c'est trop mechant!" + +Similar facts to the above occurred frequently during the time of Maria +Monk's visit to Montreal--in which strangers who called upon her, cursed +and reviled her; then believed her statements and assented to them--and +displayed all the natural excitement which was necessarily comprised in +the working of their own belief and convictions of the iniquity of the +Priests, and the dread resulting from their own superstitious vassalage, +and the certainty of a heavy penance. + +But in connexion with the preceding collateral evidence is another +remarkable circumstance, which is this: the extensive knowledge which +Maria Monk has obtained of the Canadian Jesuits. Those with whom she has +been acquainted, she affirms that she could instantly identify. For that +object, she has given a catalogue of those Priests whose names and +persons are in some degree familiarly known to her. As the Priests are +often changing their abodes, and many of them residents in Montreal +until a vacancy occurs for them in the country parishes, in those +particulars there may be a trifling mistake; but Maria Monk solemnly +avers, that the Priests, whether dead or living, who are enumerated in +the subsequent catalogue, either have dwelt or do yet reside in the +places specified. When unexpectedly and closely examined in reference to +the Priests of the same name, she particularly distinguished them, and +pointed out the difference between them in their persons, gait, &c.; +thus precluding all objection from the fact of there being more than one +Priest with a similar appellative. This circumstance particularly is +illustrated by the Priests named Marcoux, of whom she says there are +three brothers or first cousins--two called Dufresne, &c.: each of whom +she graphically depicts. It is also certain, because she has done it in +a great variety of instances, and in the presence of many different +persons, all of whom are well acquainted with them, that she describes +Lartigue; Dufresne; Richard; Phelan; Bonin; Comte; Bourget; McMahon; +Kelly; Demers; Roux; Roque; Sauvage; Tabeau; Marcoux; Morin; Durocher; +and all the Roman Priests around Montreal, with the utmost minuteness of +accuracy; while the Chaplain of the Ursuline Nunnery at Quebec, Father +Daulè, is as exactly depicted by her, as if her whole life had been +passed under his _surveillance_. Some of the appellatives in the +ensuing catalogue may not be correctly spelt. Scarcely any thing is more +difficult than to acquire proper names in a foreign language; and +especially where the pronunciation itself is provincial, as is the case +with Canadian French; and when also those titles have to be transcribed +from the mouth of a person who knows no more of orthoepy and orthography +than a Canadian Nun. However, Maria Monk attests, that the Priests to +whom she refers did reside at those places which she has designated, and +that she has seen them all in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery--some of them very +often, and others on a variety of occasions. + +Nothing is more improbable, if not impossible, than that any Papist girl +should have such an extensive acquaintance among Roman Priests. In +Canada especially, where the large majority of females have little more +correct knowledge of that which occurs out of their own district than of +Herschel's astronomical discoveries, young women cannot be personally +familiar with any Priests, in ordinary cases, except those who may have +been "Curés" of the parish in which they reside, or of the immediate +vicinity, or an occasional visitor during the absence, or sickness, or +death of the resident Curate or Missionary. Notwithstanding, Maria Monk +delineates to the life, the prominent features, the exact figure, and +the obvious characteristic exterior habits and personal appearance of +more than one hundred and fifty of those Priests, scattered about in all +parts of Canada; Among others she particularly specifies the following +men: but some of whom she notes as dead. Others she has named, but as +her recollections of them are less distinct, they are not enumerated. +Jean Jacques Lartigue, Bishop of Telmese, Montreal. The Irish Priest +McMahon, who has resided both in Montreal and Quebec. M. Dufrense, St. +Nicholas. L. Cadieux, Vicar General, Three Rivers. F. F. Marcoux, +Maskinonge. S. N. Dumoulin, Yamachiche. A. Leclerc, Yomaska. V. +Fournier, Baie du Febre. J. Demers, St. Gregoire. C. B. Courtain, +Gentilly. T. Pepin, St. Jean. Ignace Bourget, Montreal. The Priest Moor, +Missionary. J. C. Prince, Montreal. J. M. Sauvage, Montreal. J. Comte, +Montreal. J. H. A. Roux, Vicar General, Montreal. J. Roque, Montreal. A. +Malard, Montreal. A. L. Hubart, Montreal. A. Satin, Montreal. J. B. +Roupe, Montreal. Nic. Dufresne, Montreal. J. Richard, Montreal. C. Fay, +Montreal. J. B. St. Pierre, Montreal. F. Bonin, P. Phelan, Montreal. T. +B. M'Mahon, Perce. J. Marcoux, Caghuawaga. C. De Bellefeuille, Lake of +two Mountains. Claude Leonard, Montreal. F. Durocher, Lake of two +Mountains. G. Belmont, St. Francis. F. Demers, Vicar General, St. Denis. +J. O. Giroux, St. Benoit. J. B. St. Germain, St. Laurent. J. D. Delisle, +St. Cesaire. J. M. Lefebvre, St. Genevieve. F. Pigeon, St. Philippe. A. +Duransau, Lachine. O. Chevrefils, St. Constant. Joseph Quiblier, +Montreal. Francis Humbert, Montreal. J. Arraud, Montreal. O. +Archambault, Montreal. J. Larkin, Montreal. F. Sery, Montreal. R. Larre, +Montreal. A. Macdonald, Montreal. F. Larkin, Montreal. J. Beauregard, +Montreal. R. Robert, Montreal. J. Fitz Patrick, Montreal. J. Toupin, +Montreal. W. Baun, Montreal. T. Filiatreault. Montreal. J. Brady, +Montreal. P. Trudel, St. Hyacinth. John Grant, St. Hyacinth. J. Delaire, +Chambly. J. Desautels, Chambly. P. D. Ricard, St. Joachim. Jan. +Leclaire, Isle Jesus. F. M. Turcot, St. Rose. C. Larocque, Berthier, T. +Brassard, St. Elizabeth. J. B. Keller, St. Elizabeth. J. Ravienne, +Lanorate. J. T. Gagno, Valtrie. Gasford Guingner, St. Melanie. L. +Nicholas Jacques, St. Sulpice. J. Renucalde, St. Jaques. T. Can, St. +Esprit. C. J. Ducharme, St. Therese. J. Valliée, St. Scholastique. J. J. +Vinet, Arganteuil. M. Power, Beauharnois. J. B. Labelle, Chateauguay. E. +Bietz, St. Constant. P. Bedard, St. Remi. C. Aubry, St. Athanase. L. +Vinet, Noyon. J. Roque, Noyon. J. Zeph, Carren. F. Berauld, St. +Valentia. A. Maresseau, Longueuil. P. Brunet, ----. J. Odelin, +Rounilli. J. B. Dupuis, ----. L. Nau, Rouville. A. O. Giroux, St. Marc. +G. Marchesseau, ----. J. B. Belanger, St. Ours. H. Marcotte, Isle du +Pads. E. Crevier, Yamaska. G. Arsonault, ----. Eusebe Durocher, ----. +D. Denis, St. Rosalie. F. X. Brunet, St. Damase. J.A. Boisond, St. Pie. +M. Quintal, St. Damase. L. Aubry, Points Calire. P. Tetro, Beauharnois. +B. Ricard, St. Constant. M. Morin, Maskonche. J. Crevier, Blairfindie. +P. Grenier, Charteaguay. A. Darocher, Pointe aux Trembles. P. Murcure, +La Presentation. R. Gaulin, Dorchester. H. L. Girouard, St. Hyacinthe. +J. Paquin, Blairfinde. E. Brassard, St. Polycarpe. J. Boissonnault, +Riviere des Prairies. F. N. Blanchet, Soulanges. E. Lavoie, Blairfindie. +J. B. Kelly, Sorel. E. Morriset, St. Cyprian. H. Hudon, Argenteuil. M. +Brudet, St. Martin. P. P. Archambault, Vaudreuil. J. B. Boucher, La +Prairie. J. Quevillion, St. Ours. A. Chaboillez, Longueuil. P. J. +Delamothe, St. Scholastique. T. Lagard, St. Vincent. J. Durocher, St. +Benoit. Antoine Tabeau, Vicar General, Montreal. J. F. Hebard, St. Ours. +F. A. Trudeau, Montreal. M. J. Felix, St. Benoit. L. Lamothe, Bethier. +J. Moirier, St. Anne. F. J. Deguise, Vicar General, Varennes. J. B. +Bedard, St. Denis. R. O. Brunsau, Vercheres. F. Portier, Terrebonne. P. +D. Ricard, Berthier. L. Gague, Lachenaie. Joseph Belanger, Chambly. M. +Blanchet, St. Charles. P. M. Mignault, Chambly. F. Labelle, +L'Assumption. F. Marcoux, St. Barthelemi. N. L. Amiot, Repentigny. J. B. +Boucher, Chambly. P. Lafranc, St. Jean Baptiste. P. Robitaille, Monnie. +F. De Bellefeullie, St. Vincent. M. Brassard, St. Elizabeth. P. +Cousigny, St. Mathias. J. D. Daule, Quebec. + +It is readily admitted, that any person could take one of the +Ecclesiastical Registers of Lower Canada, and at his option mark any +number of the Roman Priests in the catalogue, and impute to them any +crime which he pleased. But if the accuser were closely examined, and +among such a multitude of Priests, who in all their clothing are dressed +alike, were called upon minutely to delineate them, it is morally +impossible, that he could depict more than a hundred Priests dispersed +from the borders of Upper Canada to Quebec, in as many different +parishes, with the most perfect accuracy, unless he was personally and +well acquainted with them. + +Maria Monk, however, does most accurately describe all the Priests in +the preceding catalogue, and repeats them at the expiration of weeks and +months; and the question is this: how is it possible that she could have +become acquainted with so many of that body, and by what means can she +so precisely depict their external appearance?--The startling, but the +only plausible answer which can be given to that question is this:-- +that she has seen them in the Nunnery, whither, as she maintains, most +of them constantly resorted for licentious intercourse with the Nuns. + +One other connected fact may here be introduced. Maria Monk well knows +the Lady Superior of the Charlestown Nunnery. That acquaintance could +not have been made in the United States, because Saint Mary St. George +as she called herself, or Sarah Burroughs, daughter of the notorious +Stephen Burroughs, as is her real name, removed to Canada at the latter +end of May, 1835; nor could it have been prior to the establishment of +the Charlestown Nunnery, for at that period Maria Monk was a child, and +was not in any Convent except merely as a scholar; and Mary St. George +was at Quebec. How then did she become so familiar with that far-famed +lady as to be able to describe her so exactly? The only answer is, that +she derived her knowledge of the Charlestown Convent and of its +Superior, from the intimations given, and from intercourse with that Nun +in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. + +Young females often have been sent to the Nunneries in Canada under the +fallacious hope of obtaining for them, a superior education; and very +frequently, they are suddenly removed after being there but a short +period; because the persons to whose partial guardianship they are +committed perceive that they are in danger of being ensnared by the +Chaplain and his female Syrens. + +But there are two other particulars in American Nunneries, the +toleration of which almost surpasses credibility. + +In reference to girls, they are permitted to visit their friends, even +when they reside in the vicinity of the Convent, only for an hour or two +monthly--if their relatives are at a distance, they see them only during +the annual vacation, and often remain in the Nunnery during that term. +No correspondence is permitted between the mother, the guardian, the +sister, or the friends of the young female in the Nunnery School, on +either side, without the inspection of the argus-eyed agent of the +Institution. Parental advice, filial complaints, and confidential +communications are equally arrested; and only furnish to the Superiors +of the establishment, artifices to thwart the Seniors, to entangle the +Juniors, and effectually to cajole both parties. Consequently, it +generally happens, that from one term to another, little or no +intercourse exists between the youth and her relatives; and it is +indubitable, that where any letters do nominally pass between them, they +are forgeries; the real letters being surreptitiously detained. Those +felonious regulations furnish ample scope for the initiation of girls +just entering upon womanhood, into all the wickedness of the Nunnery; +while the girls themselves are unconscious of the design, and the Nuns, +those nefarious artificers of the iniquity, in subserviency to the +Priests, in case of necessity, can exculpate themselves apparently from +all participation in the treachery and crimes. + +In the nunneries and conventual schools in the United States there is a +sort of fairy land, talked about by the nuns to the elder girls. It is +called the "Nuns' Island." That country is always described as an +earthly paradise; and to girls who are manifestly fascinated by the +witcheries of the nuns, and in whom moral sensibility has become blunted +by the unmeaning superstitions which they witness, and which they +mechanically perform, a visit to the "Nuns' Island," is always proposed +as the greatest privilege, and the most costly reward, which can be +given for constant obsequiousness to the nuns, and unreserved compliance +with their requirements. The term "Nuns' Island," is thus used to +express the nunneries in Canada, and probably some similar institutions +in the United States, where they are not too difficult of access. At all +events, girls just entering upon the character of women, after proper +training, are finally gratified with a visit to the "Nuns' Island." They +are taken to Montreal, and in the nunneries there are at once taught +"the mystery of iniquity;" in all the living reality which Maria Monk +describes. Those girls from the United States, who are represented as +novices; in Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," were young ladies from the +United States, who had been decoyed to visit the "Nuns' Island," and +who, not being Papists, often were found very intractable; but posterior +circumstances enforce the belief, that having found resistance vain, +they had not returned to their school where they were duly qualified to +continue the course into which they had been coerced, so as fully to +elude all possibility of discovery and exposure. That mother who +intrusts her daughter to a nunnery school, is chargeable with the high +crime of openly conducting her into the chambers of pollution, and the +path to irreligion, and the bottomless pit. + +These combined circumstances satisfactorily prove that, the narrative of +Maria Monk should be believed by all impartial persons; at least, until +other evidence can be adduced, and the offer of exploring the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, by the New York Protestant Association, has been accepted and +decided. + +3. Additional evidence of the truth of Maria Monk's narrative is deduced +from _the exact conformity of the facts which she states concerning +the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, when compared with the authoritative principles +of the Jesuit Priesthood as recorded in their own duly sanctioned +volumes_. It is essential to remark, that of those books she knows +nothing; that she has never seen one of them, and if she could grasp +them, that they would impart no illumination to her mind, being in +Latin; and yet in many momentous particulars, neither Lartigue nor any +one of the Jesuit Priests now in Montreal, who was educated in France, +could more minutely and accurately furnish an exposition or practical +illustration of the atrocious themes, than Maria Monk has unconsciously +done. + +Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," are reducible to three classes: +intolerable sensuality; diversified murder; and most scandalous +mendacity: comprehending flagrant, and obdurate, and unceasing +violations of the sixth, seventh, and ninth commandments. + +_The ninth commandment:_ FALSEHOOD. Of this baseness, five +specimens only shall suffice. + +_Sanchez_, a very renowned author, in his work on "Morality and the +Precepts of the Decalogue," part 2, book 3, chap. 6, no. 13, thus +decides: "A person may take an oath that he has not done any certain +thing, though in fact he has. This is extremely convenient, and is also +_very just_, when necessary to your health, honour, and +prosperity!" _Charli_, in his Propositions, no. 6, affirms that, +"He who is not bound to state the truth before swearing, is not bound by +his oath." _Taberna_ in his vol. 2, part 2, tract 2, chap. 31, p. +288, asks: "Is a witness bound to declare the truth before a lawful +judge?" To which he replies: "No, if his deposition will injure himself +or his posterity." _Laymann_, in his works, book 4, tract 2, chap. +2, p. 73, proclaims: "It is not sufficient for an oath, that we use the +formal words, if we had not the intention and will to swear, and do not +_sincerely_ invoke God as a witness." All those principles are +sanctioned by _Suarez_ in his "Precepts of Law," book 3, chap. 9, +assertion 2, p. 473, where he says, "If any one has promised or +contracted without intention to promise, and is called upon oath to +answer, may simply answer, NO; and may swear to that denial." + +The idea of obtaining truth, therefore, from a thorough-going Papist, +upon any subject in which his "_honour_" is concerned--and every +Papist's honour is indissolubly conjoined with "the Church"--is an +absurdity so great, that it cannot be listened to with patience, while +the above decisions are the authorised dogmas which the Roman Priests +inculcate among their followers. How well the nuns of Montreal have +imbibed those Jesuitical instructions, Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures" +amply reveal. + +_The Sixth Commandment:_ MURDER. The following miscellaneous +decisions are extracted from the works of the regularly sanctioned Roman +authors, of the very highest character and rank in that community. + +In his famous volume called "Aphorisms," p. 178, _Emmanuel Sa_ +writes--"You may kill any person who may be able to put you to death-- +judge and witnesses--because it is self-defence." + +_Henriquez_, in his "Sum of Moral Theology," vol. 1, book 14, chap. +10, p. 859, decides that "a Priest is not criminal, if he kill the +husband of a woman with whom he is caught in adultery." + +_Airault_ published a number of propositions. One of them says, +that "a person may secretly kill another who attempts to destroy his +reputation, although the facts are true which he published." The +following must be cited in Latin. "An lieitium sit mulieri procurare +abortum? Posset ilium excutere, ne honorem suum amittat, qui illi multo +pretiosior est ipsa vita." "An liceat mulieri conjugatæ sumere pharmacum +sterilitatis? Ita satius est ut hoc faciat, quam ut marito debitium +conjugale recuset." Censures 319, 322, 327. + +In his Moral Theology, vol. 4, book 32, sec. 2, problem 5, +_Escobar_ determines, that "it is lawful to kill an accuser whose +testimony may jeopard your life and honour." + +_Guimenius_ promulged his seventh Proposition in these words: "You +may charge your opponent with false crimes to destroy his credit; and +you may also kill him." + +_Marin_ wrote a book called "Speculative and Moral Theology." In +vol. 3, tract 23, disputation 8, sec. 5, no. 63, p. 448, are found the +following sentences: "Licet procurare abortum, ne puella infametur." +That doctrine is admitted, "to evade personal disgrace, and _to +conceal the infamy of Monks and Nuns_." no. 67, p. 429. In no. 75, p. +430, of the same work, _Marin_ writes: "Navarrus, Arragon, Bannez, +Henriquez,, Sa, Sanchez, Palao, and others, all say, that a woman may +use not only missione sanguinis, sed aliis medicamentis, etsi inde +pereat foetus." With that doctrine also agrees _Egidius_, in his +"Explication of the Decalogue," vol. 5, book 5, chap. 1, doubt 4; and +_Diana_ in his work upon Morality, part 6, tract 8, resolution 27, +fully ratifies his sanction. + +_Gobatus_ published a work which he entitled, "Morality," and in +vol. 2, part 2, tract 5, chap. 9, sec. 8, p. 318, is the following +_edifying_ specimen of Popish morals: "Persons may innocently +desire to be drunk, if any great good will arise from it. A son who +inherits wealth by his father's death, may rejoice that when he is +intoxicated, he murdered his father." According to which combined +propositions, a man may make himself drunk expressly to kill his parent, +and yet be guiltless. + +_Busenbaum_ wrote a work denominated "Moral Theology." which was +enlarged and explained by _Lacroix_. In vol. 1, p. 295, is the +following position: "In all the cases where a man has a right to kill +any person, another may do it for him." But we have already heard by +_Escobar_ that any "Roman Priest has a right to kill Maria Monk; +and therefore any Papist may murder her for them." + +_Alagona_, in his "Compend of the Sum of Theology," by Thomas +Aquinas, question 94, p. 230, "Sums" up all the Romish system in this +comprehensively blasphemous oracular adage. "_By the command of God, +it is lawful to murder the innocent, to rob, and to commit lewdness; and +thus to fulfil his mandate, is our duty_." + +_The seventh commandment._--In his Aphorisms, p. 80, and p. 259, +_Sa_ thus decides--"Copulari ante benedictionem, aut nullam aut +leve peceatum est; quin etiam expedit, si multum isla differatur."-- +"Potest et femina quaeque et mas, pro turpi corporis usu, pretium, +accipere et petere." + +_Hurtado_ issued a volume of "Disputations and Difficulties." At p. +476 is the following genuine Popish rule of life--"Carnal intercourse +before marriage is not unlawful." So teaches that Jesuit oracle. + +_Dicastillo_, in his work upon "Righteousness and other cardinal +Virtues," p. 87, thus asks--"An puella, quae per vin opprimitur teneatur +clamare et opem implorare ne violetur?" The answer is this--"Non videtur +teneri impedire peccatum alterius--sed mere passive se habere." + +_Escobar_, in his "Moral Theology," p. 326, 327, 328, of vol. 4, +determines that "a man who abducts a woman from affection expressly to +marry her, is guilty of mortal sin, but a Priest who forcibly violates +her through lust, incurs no censure." + +_Tamburin_ unfolds the character of Romanism in his "Moral +Theology," p. 186, in a lengthened discussion of the following +characteristic inquiry--"Quantum pro usu corporis sui juste exigat +mulier?"--The reply is, "de meretrice et de femina honesta sive +conjugata, ant non." + +_Fegeli_ wrote a book of "Practical Questions;" and on p. 397, is +the following--"Under what obligation is he who defiles a virgin?"--The +answer is this--"Besides the obligation of penance, he incurs none; quia +puella habet jus usum sui corporis concedendi." + +_Trachala_ published a volume which he facetiously entitled the +"Laver of Conscience;" and at p. 96, he presents us with this astounding +recipe to purify the conscience--"An Concubinarius sit absolvendus +antequam concubinam dimittat?" To which he replies--"Si ilia concubina +sit valde bona et utilis economa, et sic nullam aliam possit habere, +esset absolvendus." + +From the prior decisions, combined with numberless others which might be +extracted from the works of the Romish authors, it is obvious, that the +violations of the seventh commandment, are scarcely enumerated by the +Papal priesthood among venial sins. Especially if we consider the +definition of a prostitute by the highest Popish authority: for in the +Decretals, Distinction 34, in the Gloss, is found this savory adage-- +"Meretrix est quae, admiserit plures quam viginti tria hominum millia!" +That is the infallible attestation to the truth of Maria Monk's "Awful +Disclosures." + +4. The antecedent narrative of the Hotel Dieu Nunnery, is confirmed by +the universal and constant practice of Roman Priests in all Convents. +Among the works of William Huntington, is a correspondence between +himself and a young lady who was converted by his ministry. The seventh +letter from Miss M. contains the following passage:-- + +_"It is a shame for women to approach those confessionals._ If they +were never wise in scenes of iniquity before, the priest will instruct +them, by asking the most filthy questions. I was confined to my bed +three days from my first confession; and thought I would never go again, +being so abashed by the abominations he had put in my head. I would just +as soon recommend scalding water to cure Anthony's-fire, or a wet bed in +an ice-house to cure an ague, as recommend a sinner to those accursed +lies, Roman penance, and Auricular Confession."--The mental purity of +Nuns consists in a life totally "contrary to the laws of God, of +modesty, of decency. They are constantly exposed to the obscene +interrogations, and the lewd actions of the Priests. Notwithstanding God +has fixed a bar on every female mind, it is broken through by the +Priests putting questions to them upon those subjects, as the scripture +declares, which ought not to be named? The uncommon attractions of the +young women in Convents generally indicate the greatest unchastity among +them. I have known girls, sent for education to the Convent where I was, +who regularly stripped themselves of every thing they could obtain from +their friends; which, by the artful insinuations of the Nuns, was given +to them and the Priests. The Roman priesthood may well be called a +sorceress, and their doctrine 'the wine of fornication,' for nothing but +the powers of darkness could work up the young female mind to receive +it; unless by the subtlety of the devil, and the vile artifices of the +Nuns. I shudder at the idea of young ladies going into a Convent; and +also at parents who send their children to be educated in a Nunnery; +where their daughters are entrapped by the Nuns into the snare of the +Priests, with whom they are accomplices, and for whom the most subtle of +them are decoys, whose feigned sanctity is only a cover for the satanic +arts of which they are complete mistresses, and by which, through the +delusions of the mother of harlots, being buried alive within the walls +of a Convent, they 'drink of the wine of her fornication,' until their +souls pass into the pit of destruction."--The above extract is from the +seventh letter of "Correspondence between Miss M. and Mr. H." in +Huntington's Works; and exposes the Nunneries in France. + +George D. Emeline, who had been a Popish Priest, in his "Eight Letters," +giving an account of his "Journey into Italy," thus details the nature +of the intimacy which then existed between the Priests and Nuns on the +European Continent. "A young Monk at Milan, Preacher to the Benedictine +Nuns, when he addressed them, added to almost every sentence in his +discourse, 'my most dear and lovely sisters, whom I love from the +deepest bottom of my heart.' When a monk becomes Preacher or Chaplain to +a Nunnery, his days are passed in constant voluptuousness; for the Nuns +will gratify their Confessor in every thing, that he may be equally +indulgent to them." Emeline's Letters, p. 313. + +"A regular Abbot of a Monastery in Italy, talking with me said--'Melius +est habere nullam quam aliquem--It is better to have none than any +woman.' I asked him what he meant; he replied, 'Because, when a person +is not tied to one, he may make use of many;' and his practice was +conformable to his doctrine; for he slept in the same bed with three +young women every night. He was a most insatiable Exactor and Oppressor +of the people who rented the lands of the Abbey, in consequence of which +the Farmers complained of him to the Archbishop of the District. The +Archbishop sent the Provost, the Farmers, and sixty of the serjeants at +night, to seize him and his female companions. They took the Abbot in +bed, and having put on him a morning-gown; and having tied his three +concubines and himself back to back, placed them in a cart, and +conducted them to the Archbishop's residence, in Bonnonia: who then +refused to judge him; but sent him and his females to the Monastery of +_Saint_ Michael; into which, with some difficulty, he was admitted +after midnight, in consequence of the Provost assuring the Friars, that +if they would not receive the Abbot, they would procure his prelatical +dress, and escort him and the young women in procession through the +city, and back to his own Monastery the same day at noon. The females +were ordered away, and the Abbot was appointed to remain in his +monastery for fifteen days for penance, until the story had ceased to +circulate. I was an eyewitness of that myself, when I was in the +Monastery of St. Michael in the wood."--Emeline's Letters, pp. 387, 388, +389. + +That the Nunneries in Portugal, as well as among those people in India +who are subject to the Romish priesthood, are of the same character +precisely, as Maria Monk describes the Priests and Nuns in Canada, is +proved by Victorin de Faria, who had been a Brahman in India; and who +afterward resided as a regular Roman Priest in the Paulist Monastery at +Lisbon. + +"The regular Priests in India," says Faria, "have become what the bonzes +where in Japan. The Nuns were the disciples of Diana, and the nunneries +seraglios for the monks; as I have proved to be the case in Lisbon, by +facts concerning those nuns who were more often in the family way than +common women. The Jesuits in the Indies made themselves Brahmans in +order to enjoy the privileges of that caste, whose idolatrous rites and +superstitious practices they also externally adopted."--Among other +privileges which they possessed, Faria enumerates the following, as +detailed from his own prior experience as a Brahman. "Never to be put to +death for any crime whatever; and to enjoy the favours of every woman +who pleased them, for a Priest sanctifies the woman upon whom he bestows +his attentions." That is the true Papist doctrine, as shown by Maria +Monk's "Awful Disclosures;" confirmed by the Canadian carpenter in Mr. +Johnson's house at Montreal; and ratified by Pope Gregory XIII. in the +Decretals and Canons, in the Corpus Juris Canonici. Secrets of Nunneries +disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. p. 217. + +The Nunneries in Italy during the present generation are of the same +description. Maria Catharine Barni, Maria Magdalen Sicini, and Victoire +Benedetti, of the Nunnery called Santa Croce: all acknowledged, that +they had been seduced at confession, and that they had habitually +maintained criminal intercourse with a Priest called Pacchiani, who +absolved his guilty companions after the commission of their crimes. +Secrets of Nunneries disclosed by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 60, 61. + +Six Nuns of the Convent of Catharine at Pistoia declared that the +Priests who visited the Convent committed a "thousand indecorous acts. +They utter the worst expressions, saying that we should look upon it as +a great happiness, that we have the power of satisfying our appetites +without the annoyance of children; and that we should not hesitate to +take our pleasures. Men, who have contrived to get the keys, come into +the Convent during the night, which they have spent in the most +dissipated manner." That is the precise delineation of the Canadian +Nunneries; into which other men besides Priests are admitted, if the +parties are willing to pay the entrance bribe to the Chaplain.--Secrets +of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. pp. 80, 81. + +Flavia Perraccini, Prioress of the Nunnery of Catharine of Pistoia, +revealed what she knew of that and other Nunneries. All the Priests "are +of the same character. They all have the same maxims and the same +conduct. They are on more intimate terms with the nuns than if they were +married to them. It is the same at Lucia, at Pisa, at Prato, and at +Perugia. The Superiors do not know even the smallest part of the +enormous wickedness that goes on between the Monks and the Nuns."-- +Secrets of Nunneries, by Scipio de Ricci. p. 93. That statement is so +exactly conformed to Maria Monk's "Awful Disclosures," that were it not +a fact that she had never seen Scipio de Ricci's work it might almost be +supposed that some part of her narrative had been transcribed from it. + +Foggini of Rome, also wrote to Scipio de Ricci and informed him--"I know +a monastery in which a Jesuit used to make the Nuns lift up their +clothes, assuring them that they thereby performed an act of virtue, +because they overcame a natural repugnance."--Secrets of Nunneries, p. +101. That is a very extraordinary illustration of the turpitude of the +Roman Priesthood; because that doctrine is a principle which they +constantly inculcate; and such is the invariable practice in the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery, that the Nuns were obliged to fulfil, for the beastly +gratification of the Roman Priests who visited that house, which is "the +way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:27. + +It is superfluous to multiply similar extracts. Scipio de Ricci was a +Popish prelate, regularly commissioned by the Grand Duke of Tuscany to +explore the Nunneries; and in consequence of his authentic developments, +the Jesuits and Dominicans, and the dignified Papal ecclesiastics, with +the two Popes, Pius VI. and Pius VII. all opposed, reviled, condemned +and worried him almost to death. + +One quotation more shall close this survey. Pope Paul III. maintained at +Rome, forty-five thousand courtesans. Pope Sixtus IV. ordered a number +of edifices to be erected expressly for the accommodation of the semi- +Nuns of Rome, from whose impurity he derived a large annual revenue, +under the form of a license; besides which, the prices of absolution for +the different violations of the seventh commandment are as regularly +fixed as the value of beads, soul-masses, blessed water, and every other +article of Popish manufacture. Paolo, Hist. Council de Trent. Book I. +Anno 1637. + +The preceding observations, it is believed, will remove the doubts from +the mind of every impartial inquirer, respecting the credibility of +Maria Monk's narrative: nevertheless, a few additional remarks may not +be irrelevant: especially as there is a marvellous skepticism in +reference to the admission of valid testimony concerning the Roman +priesthood, their system and practice. We are deafened with clamour for +proof to substantiate Maria Monk's history: but that demand is +tantamount to the declaration--"I will not believe." + +In anticipation of speedy death, and an immediate appearance at the +dread tribunal of Jehovah, Maria Monk communicated to Mr. Tappan, the +Chaplain at Bellevue, one of the benevolent institutions belonging to +the city of New York, the principal facts in her "Awful Disclosures." +After her unexpected recovery, she personally appeared at Montreal, +expressly and openly, to promulge her allegations of atrocious crimes +against the chief Roman Ecclesiastics in that city, who were armed with +power, and having nearly all the population her infuriated enemies. +There she remained almost four weeks, constantly daring the Roman +Priests and Nuns in vain. It is true, Dr. Robertson in his affidavit +says, that he was willing "to take the necessary steps for a full +investigation, if a direct charge were made against any particular +individual of a criminal nature." Now if Maria Monk's charges are not +direct, OF A CRIMINAL NATURE, and against PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS--what +charges can be so characterized? The fact is this:--Dr. Robertson would +no more dare to issue a warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, or any +of the inferior Roman Priests in Montreal, than he would dare publicly +to strike the Commander of the Garrison, or the Governor of Canada upon +military parade. If any Papist had stated to him the same facts +concerning a Protestant, or Protestant Minister, and offered to confirm +them by his worthless oath, he would have issued his process at once; +but Dr. Robertson knows, that in the present state of Canadian society, +Roman Priests can do what they please; and no man dares to reprove, much +less to "take any necessary steps for a full investigation" for their +crimes. If the Jesuits and Nuns at Montreal are anxious for a full and +impartial scrutiny of the Hotel Dieu Convent, Maria Monk is ready to +oblige them with some facilities for that object; provided she may carry +them out to all their extent and application. Mr. Ogden has one +affidavit, and knows the whole matter; as can incontestably be proved by +Mr. A. P. Hart, an Attorney of Montreal; and we recommend Dr. Robertson +to issue his warrant for the apprehension of Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, +and Richards, they are enough to begin with; and if Mr. Ogden will carry +the facts with which he is acquainted to the Grand Jury, one witness in +New York is ready to appear; and Dr. Robertson will find his hands full +of employment, if he will only "take the necessary steps" to procure two +or three persons who shall be pointed out to him in the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery. Therefore, until Dr. Robertson commences some incipient +measures as a Magistrate towards "the necessary steps for a full +investigation," as he says, we shall be forced to believe, that the +printer made a mistake in his affidavit, and put willing for +_unwilling_. + +The cavilling call, however, for additional evidence to be adduced by +Maria Monk, is manifestly futile. That testimony is within the +jurisdiction of the Priests alone who are criminated. Maria Monk +reiterates her charge against the Romish Ecclesiastics of Canada and +their Nuns; and she has solemnly sworn that they are true. What more can +she do? Nothing, but to _search the premises_, to see whether the +statements which she has made are correct. A Committee of the New York +Protestant Association are willing to accompany her to Montreal; to walk +through the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in company with any Gentlemen of +Montreal, and investigate the truth without favour or partiality, Maria +Monk is willing to submit the whole affair to that short, and easy, and +sensible test; in which there is no possibility of deception. It does +not depend upon credibility of witnesses, conflicting evidence, personal +friendship, or religions prejudices; it is reduced at once to that +unerring criterion; _the sight and the touch!_ + +But, it is retorted, that will not be granted; then we repeat another +proposal: let the Priest Conroy come forth girded in all the panoply of +the Roman court, and appear as the champion of the Canadian Jesuits; let +him institute an action, civil or criminal, or both, against the +publishers of such atrocious crimes, which, as they pretend, are falsely +alleged against the Roman Priests. If Lartigue and his Montreal inferior +priests are implicated in the most nefarious felonies, Maria Monk has +published him as a virtuous accomplice. Why does he not put her truth to +the test, by subjecting her to a criminal process? Why does he not +commence a suit against the Booksellers who published her "Awful +Disclosures?"--Ah! if Lartigue, Bonin, Dufresne, and Richards, with +their brethren, Conroy, Phelan, Kelly and Quarter, were coerced to keep +Lent, and live only upon _soup-maigre_, until that day arrives, +they would not much longer portray in their exterior, that they live +upon the fat of the land; but they would vociferously whine out--"Mea +culpa! O mea grandis culpa! O mea grandissima culpa! Peccava! Peccavi! +Peccavi!" + + + + +APPENDIX. + +RECEPTION OF THE FIRST EDITIONS. + + +I have now reached the close of what appeared in my first editions. Some +of my readers may feel a wish to know what has been said of me and my +book, by those whose characters or connexions it exposes. Different +persons have expressed to me their fears that I should be kidnapped, +stabbed or poisoned; but of this I have had but little apprehension. +Others may suppose that the priests of Montreal, and some of those in +New York, against whom I have made different charges, may have appeared +against me in ways of which they are ignorant, and have published facts, +or used arguments of serious import, if not of decided force. For the +information of my readers, I have determined, though at some +inconvenience, to lay before them a fair view of what they have done. + +I was well convinced before the publication of my first book, that the +priests would do or say very little against me or my work; and several +persons can testify, that I made declarations of this kind, with +distinctness, in their presence. The reasons I gave for this opinion +were these,--that they feared an investigation, and that they feared +further disclosures. They must desire to keep the public mind calm, and +diverted with other matters; and to avoid increasing my will. + +There were individuals, I was well aware, both in and _out_ of the +nunnery, and Seminary, who, from the first notice of the appearance of +my book, would be extremely disquieted, until they had ascertained the +extent to which my developments reached. When they had read for +themselves, I well knew, they would enjoy a temporary relief, finding +that my "Disclosures" were not the most "awful" which they had reason to +expect. + +I also felt, that they would apprehend something further from me; and +that a dread of this would probably keep them quiet, or confine them to +general denials of my story. And this has been the case, even to so +great a degree, that the remark has been often repeated--how feeble is +their defence! Why did they not rather remain silent than do so little-- +that which is for them worse than nothing? The causes of this I could +assign. The world does not understand them all. + +Three principal grounds of opposition have been taken against me by my +enemies--1st, That I had never been in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery: 2d, That +my character entitled me to no confidence; 3d, That my book was copied, +"word for word, and letter for letter," from an old European work, +called "The Gates of Hell opened." Besides these grounds, several others +have been attempted, but less seriously supported--such as that I was +deranged, or subject to occasional alienation of mind; and that I was +not Maria Monk, but a counterfeit of a person by that name, still in +Canada, and, as some said, in the Black Nunnery. + +With regard to the first of these grounds, I will here simply say, that +it has been, beyond controversy, the principal one, but has recently +been abandoned. The great object of the six affidavits, published in +Montreal in November, 1835, and republished here soon after the +publication of my book, was to prove that I had never been a nun--not +even a novice. The reader may judge for himself, for those affidavits +are published in full in this volume, and they are the only ones which +have been published against me. The reader will also see in an extract +from the New York Catholic Diary of March last that that fact is +admitted; and by a later extract from it, that a Canadian priest who +takes the trouble to write from Sherbrooke, has no new testimony to +refer to. + +As to my character, I never claimed the confidence of the American +people, (as the Roman priests do,) on a pretence of a peculiar holiness +of life. That would have been unreasonable in a stranger, and especially +one who had been in a nunnery. My first editions, as well as the +present, bear witness that I appealed to the evidence of facts which no +one could controvert if once produced--an examination of the interior of +my late prison. Not a lisp has yet been heard of assent to my +proposition. The Protestant Association have published a challenge, for +several weeks, which is on another page among the extracts--but no one +has accepted it, and I will venture to say, no one will. + +My publishers, on seeing the assertion made by the editor of the Boston +(Roman Catholic) Pilot, that my book was a mere copy from an old +European work, called "The Gates of Hell opened," published an offer of +$100 for any book so resembling it--without success. If there be any +volume on earth which contains the developments of any fugitive nun, +whose case resembled my own, I should expect to merit such a title as +the above; and I should know how to excuse the author for using so +strong an expression, after struggling, as I have had to do, in giving +my own narrative, with those feelings which are so apt to arise in my +heart at the recollection of scenes I have passed through. The opening +of the Gates of Hell, whether in a European or a Canadian Convent, may +probably disclose scenes very like to each other; but if there be any +resemblance between my book and any other in the world, I solemnly +declare that it can be owing only to a resemblance between the things +described in both, as not a sentence has been copied from any book +whatever, and I defy the editor of the Boston Pilot--(not to perjure +himself, as he gratuitously proposed--but to do what would be at once +much more difficult and satisfactory)--produce his book, or a single +page of it. + +I have been charged with occasional alienation of mind--a very strong +evidence, I should think, of my being a nun; for what eloped nun ever +escaped that charge? Like converted Roman Catholics, run-away nuns are +commonly pronounced to be out of their wits, or under the influence of +evil spirits, of course, on the ground that it is proved by the fact +itself. + +As to my being the real Maria Monk or not, I presume the testimony of +some of my old school-mates, now in New York, will pass. To these, +however, it cannot he necessary to resort, otherwise the Montreal +affidavits will be good for nothing. + +I will now proceed to give _the whole_ of the testimony which has +been brought out against me. A few remarks, necessary to acquaint the +reader with the progress of things, will be given in their place. Next +to these will appear the testimony of several persons, who have +voluntarily presented themselves, since the publication of my first +edition, claimed acquaintance with me, and volunteered their testimony. +I need not say how gratifying I have found such spontaneous marks of +kindness, from friends, whose reedy and unsolicited appearance is a real +favour to me, although chiefly due, as they declare, to their love of +truth and justice. + +Almost immediately after the appearance of my "Awful Disclosures," the +following anonymous handbill was distributed through the city of New +York. It was also published in the Catholic Diary, and other papers, +with violent denunciations. + +"_Maria Monk! Villany Exposed._ + +"_L'Amidu Peuple_, a Montreal paper, gives us the _denouement_ +of the tale of scandal which the _Protestant Vindicator_, Christian +Herald, _et id genus omne_, put forward a few months since, and +which the Protestant Editors of three political journals in Montreal, at +once indignantly repelled without knowing its origin. Instead of an +eloped Nun, recounting the horrors of the Convent, the heroine of the +tale is a Protestant young girl, who has been for four years past under +protection of a Mr. Hoyte, once styled a Reverend Methodist Preacher, +and connected with Canadian Sunday Schools. The paper quoted above, +gives, at full length, the affidavits of the mother of the girl, who is +also a Protestant, and of several other individuals, who had no motive +to favour Catholic Institutions. The disconsolate mother testifies on +oath that she had been solicited by the seducer of her child to swear +that she was a Nun, and that the father of the infant was a Catholic +Clergyman--that a promise had been made her of a comfortable provision +for herself, and for her unfortunate child and offspring--if she would +only do that. The poor woman had virtue enough to reject the base +proposal; and thus, the Rev. Mr. Hoyte, who had returned from New York +for this purpose, accompanied, it is stated, by the Rev. Mr. Brewster +and Judge Turner, failed in the object of his visit. + +"A Methodist Preacher of the place immediately disclaimed all connection +of the society with Mr. Hoyte, and in a letter, published in the papers, +expressed his regret that any credit had been given to a foul charge, +emanating from a source so polluted."--_Catholic Herald_. + +The affidavits will be published as soon as they shall be received from +Canada. Maria Monk's Book, far from injuring the Catholic religion, will +promote it; for the publication is a real _disclosure_ of the +wickedness and hypocrisy of its enemies, who dare to go as far as to +conceal their own crimes, by calumniating those who never did any thing +against them, and have never interfered with them. Probably the author +of this _pious book_ is a minister; and, what is more remarkable, +not a single one of the ministers has opposed it, or cautioned the +people against it, as it is their duty to do, the calumniators being of +their own congregation. However, by holding a prayer-meeting, making +_a few faces_, and giving a few affecting _turns_ to their +voices, they certainly have already washed out the awful crime of these +calumnies, because faith alone will save them, and they certainly have +the true faith, which shows itself by these true fruits of charity. They +are the elect, and consequently, they are not like the Catholic Priests, +who are all wicked. The reader may recollect the parable of the pharisee +and the publican. + + * * * * * + +"Granting the truth of Maria Monk's story, will it not reveal the +weakness of Protestant origin? Where would Protestantism be, were it not +engendered and nursed by profligate Monks and Nuns? Yes, gentlemen, +profligate Monks and Nuns have been your nursing Fathers and Mothers! +The chaste spouse of the Redeemer could hold no fellowship with such +characters. She has flung them over the fences of the 'fold,' happy to +have a sink into which to throw her filth." + +As soon as my first edition appeared, several of the newspapers of New +York referred to the publication in terms of unqualified condemnation. +Not content with giving my motives in producing it, without having seen +me, they hesitated not to pronounce it utterly false, with as much +boldness as if they had really known something more of the matter than +the public at large. A poor and injured female had disclosed to their +countrymen facts of deep interest to all; and they, without examination, +perhaps without leaving their offices to make a single inquiry, did +their utmost to decry me, and used terms which they cannot but regret +sooner or later. + +Requests were immediately made to some of them to listen to evidence, +which were not accepted. The editors of the Courier and Enquirer were +requested, in a note from the publishers, to mention in their paper what +parts of my book they intended to pronounce false, and what was their +evidence. But they took no notice of it, although desired to publish the +note. Many other editors were invited to publish communications or +extracts, but most of them refused from the first, and all the papers +were soon closed against my cause. + +In the country, the newspapers generally, I believe, followed the +example set in this city, though in Albany, Boston, and one or two other +places, a solitary one or two appeared disposed to examine the subject. + +At length appeared the long-threatened Montreal affidavits, which are +here inserted. They were published in several Roman Catholic, and one or +two Protestant papers in New York, with this introduction-- + +_"Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' Villany exposed!!_ + +"Of all the curious pranks and fanatical schemes which the foes of +Catholicity have been playing for some years past, there is not one that +fills the mind with greater disgust than the scandalous tale given to +the public by Maria Monk and her wicked associate. + +"By the evidence which covers the following pages, the reader will see +the man himself clearly convinced of being a base calumniator, and arch- +hypocrite. He, and his associate prostitute, will be seen, with brazen +impudence, attempting to fix on the virtuous Catholic Ladies and +Catholic Priests of Montreal, the shameless character which belongs only +to themselves." + +_From the Montreal Courier,_ Nov. 16, 1835. + +"The _New York Protestant Vindicator_ of the 4th November, +reiterates its calumnies concerning the Roman Catholic Clergy and Nuns +of this city. We cherished the hope that, after the simultaneous and +unanimous expressions of disbelief and reprehension with which its +extravagant assertions had been met by the Canadian press, both +Protestant and Catholic, the conductors of that journal would have been +slow to repeat, without better evidence of their truth, the same +disgraceful charges. We have been deceived in our calculation. The +fanatical print demands _counter evidence_ before it will withdraw, +or acknowledge the falsehood of its previous statements. We believe that +_counter_ evidence has already been adduced, of a nature far +surpassing, in weight, the claims to credibility which the accusations +themselves could offer. The impure fabrication trumped up by a woman of +immoral character and insane mind, in conjunction with a man of equally +depraved habits, can never be weighed in the balance with the testimony +of Protestants, living in the same community as the accused, and, +therefore, possessing the means of judging of the truth or falsehood of +what was advanced. By any persons of less interested credulity, and of +more discriminating and moral honesty, than what the conductors of the +_Protestant Vindicator_ appear to possess, counter evidence of the +above nature would have been deemed sufficient. + +"There are two reasons which have mainly weighed with us, to revert to +the subject of the _Protestant Vindicator's_ charges, and to +publish the subjoined lengthy documents. We consider, in the first +place, our endeavours to expose falsehood as a solemn duty we owe to the +defamed; and, in the second, we should regard ourselves to be degraded +in the eyes of the world, did we live in a community where such +abominations, as are alleged, existed, and not dare, openly and loudly, +to denounce the perpetrators. + +"Under these impressions, we proceed, at a considerable sacrifice of the +space of our journal, to lay before our readers the following +affidavits, which will sufficiently disclose the nature of the +_Protestant Vindicator's_ calumnies, their origin, and the degree +of credit which can be attached to them." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF DR. ROBERTSON.) + +"William Robertson, of Montreal, Doctor in Medicine, being duly sworn on +the Holy Evangelists, deposeth and saith as follows:--On the 9th of +November, 1834, three men came up to my house, having a young female in +company with them, who, they said, was observed that forenoon, on the +bank of the Canal, near the extremity of the St. Joseph Suburbs, acting +in a manner which induced some people who saw her to think that she +intended to drown herself. They took her into a house in the +neighbourhood, where, after being there some hours, and interrogated as +to who she was, &c., she said she was the daughter of Dr. Robertson. On +receiving this information, they brought her to my house. Being from +home when they came to the door, and learning from Mrs. Robertson that +she had denied them, they conveyed her to the watch-house. Upon hearing +this story, in company with G. Auldjo, Esq., of this city. I went to the +watch-house to inquire into the affair. We found the young female, whom +I have since ascertained to be Maria Monk, daughter of W. Monk, of this +city, in custody. She said, that although she was not my daughter, she +was the child of respectable parents, in or very near Montreal, who from +some light conduct of hers, (arising from temporary insanity, to which +she was at times subject from her infancy.) had kept her confined and +chained in a cellar for the last four years. Upon examination, no mark +or appearance indicated the wearing of manacles, or any other mode of +restraint. She said, on my observing this, that her mother always took +care to cover the irons with soft cloths to prevent them injuring the +skin. From the appearance of her hands, [Footnote: Compare this with the +last sentence but one in the affidavit. Why does Dr. R. not give names +of persons and their affidavits? It has not yet been done--April, 1836.] +she evidently had not been used to work. To remove her from the watch- +house, where she was confined with some of the most profligate women of +the town, taken up for inebriety and disorderly conduct in the streets, +as she could not give a satisfactory account of herself, I as a Justice +of the Peace, sent her to jail as a vagrant. The following morning, I +went to the jail for the purpose of ascertaining, if possible, who she +was. After considerable persuasion, she promised to divulge her story to +the Rev. H. Esson, one of the clergymen of the Church of Scotland, to +whose congregation she said her parents belonged. That gentleman did +call at the jail, and ascertained who she was. In the course of a few +days she was released, and I did not see her again until the month of +August last, when Mr. Johnston, of Griffintown, Joiner, and Mr. Cooley, +of the St. Ann Suburbs, Merchant, called upon me, about ten o'clock at +night, and, after some prefatory remarks, mentioned that the object of +their visit was, to ask me, as a magistrate, to institute an inquiry +into some very serious charges which had been made against some of the +Roman Catholic Priests of that place, and the Nuns of the General +Hospital, by a female, who had been a Nun in that Institution for four +years, and who had divulged the horrible secrets of that establishment, +such as the illicit and criminal intercourse between the Nuns and the +Priests, stating particulars of such depravacy of conduct, on the part +of these people, in this respect, and their murdering the offspring of +these criminal connexions, as soon as they were born, to the number of +from thirty to forty every year. I instantly stated, that I did not +believe a word of what they told me, and that they must have been +imposed upon by some evil-disposed and designing person. Upon inquiry +who this Nun, their informant, was, I discovered that she answered +exactly the description of Maria Monk, whom I had so much trouble about +last year, and mentioned to these individuals my suspicion, and what I +knew of that unfortunate girl. Mr. Cooley said to Mr. Johnston, let us +go home, we are hoaxed. They told me that she was then at Mr. Johnston's +house, and requested me to call there, and hear her own story. The next +day, or the day following, I did call, and saw Maria Monk, at Mr. +Johnston's house. She repeated in my presence the substance of what was +mentioned to me before, relating to her having been in the Nunnery for +four years; having taken the black veil; the crimes committed there; and +a variety of other circumstances concerning the Priests and Nuns. A Mr. +Hoyte was introduced to me, and was present during the whole of the time +that I was in the house. He was represented as one of the persons who +had come from New York with this young woman, for the purpose of +investigating into this mysterious affair. I was asked to take her +deposition, on her oath, as to the truth of what she had stated. I +declined doing so, giving as reason, that, from my knowledge of her +character, I considered her assertions upon oath were not entitled to +more credit than her bare assertion, and that I did not believe either: +intimating, at the same time, my willingness to take the necessary steps +for a full investigation, if they could get any other person to +corroborate any part of her solemn testimony, or if a direct charge were +to be made against any particular individual of a criminal nature. +During the first interview with Messrs. Johnston and Cooley, they +mentioned, that Maria Monk had been found in New York in a very +destitute situation by some charitable individuals, who administered to +her necessities, being very sick. She expressed a wish to see a +clergyman, as she had a dreadful secret which she wished to divulge +before she died; a clergyman visiting her, she related to him the +alleged crimes of the Priests and Nuns of the General Hospital at +Montreal. After her recovery, she was visited and examined by the Mayor +and some lawyers at New York, afterward at Troy, in the State of New +York, on the subject; and I understood them to say, that Mr. Hoyte and +two other gentlemen, one of them a lawyer, were sent to Montreal, for +the purpose of examining into the truth of the accusations thus made. +Although incredulous as to the truth of Maria Monk's story, I thought it +incumbent upon me to make some inquiry concerning it, and have +ascertained where she had been residing a great part of the time she +states having been an inmate of the Nunnery. During the summer of 1832 +she was at service in William Henry's; the winters of 1823-3, she passed +in this neighborhood, at St. Ours and St. Denis. The accounts given of +her conduct that season corroborate the opinions I had before +entertained of her character. + +"W. ROBERTSON. + +"Sworn before me, Montreal, this 14th day of November, 1835. + +"BENJ. HOLMES, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MY MOTHER.) + +"On this day, the twenty-fourth day of October, one thousand eight +hundred and thirty-five, before me, William Robertson, one of his +Majesty's Justices of the Peace for the district of Montreal, came and +appeared Isabella Mills, [Footnote: My mother's maiden name was Mills] +of the city of Montreal, widow of the late William Monk, who declared, +that wishing to guard the public against the deception which has lately +been practised in Montreal by designing men, who have taken advantage of +the occasional derangement of her daughter, to make scandalous +accusations against the Priests and the Nuns in Montreal, and afterward +to make her pass herself for a nun, who had left the Convent. And after +having made oath on the holy evangelists, (to say the truth) the said +Isabella Mills declares and says, a man decently dressed (whom afterward +I knew to be W. R. Hoyte. stating himself to be a minister of New York,) +came to my house on or about the middle of August last, and inquired for +one Mr. Mills; that Mr. Esson, a minister here, had told him I could +give him some information about that man; I replied that I knew no one +of that name in Montreal, but that I had a brother of that name five +miles out of town. He then told me that he had lately come to Montreal, +with a young woman and child of five weeks old; that the woman had +absconded from him at Goodenough's tavern, where they were lodging, and +left him with the child; he gave me a description of the woman: I +unfortunately discovered that the description answered my daughter, and +the reflection that this stranger had called upon Mr. Esson, our pastor, +and inquiring for my brother, I suspected that this was planned: I asked +for the child, and said that I would place it in a nunnery: to that Mr. +Hoyte started every objection, in abusive language against the nuns. At +last he consented to give me the child, provided I would give my writing +that it should be presented when demanded. We left the house together, +Mr. Hoyte requested me to walk at a distance from him, as he was a +gentleman. I followed him to Mr. Goodenough's Hotel, and he directed me +to room No. 17, and to demand the child; a servant maid gave it to me; +Mr. Hoyte came up, and gave me the clothing. I came home with the child, +and sent Mrs. Tarbert, an old acquaintance, in search of my daughter; +her disposition will be seen. The next day, Mr. Hoyte came in with an +elderly man, Dr. Judge Turner, decently dressed, whom he introduced to +me as a Mr. Turner, of St. Alban's. They demanded to see the child, +which I produced. Mr. Hoyte demanded if I had discovered the mother; I +said not. She must be found, said he; she has taken away a shawl and a +bonnet belonging to a servant girl at Goodenough's; he would not pay for +them; she had cost him too much already; that, his things were kept at +the hotel on that account. Being afraid that this might more deeply +involve my daughter, I offered my own shawl to replace the one taken; +Mr. Hoyte first took it but afterward returned it to me on my promise +that I would pay for the shawl and bonnet. In the course of the day, +Mrs. Tarbert found my daughter, but she would not come to my house; she +sent the bonnet and shawl, which were returned to their owner, who had +lent them to my daughter, to assist her in procuring her escape from Mr. +Hoyte at the hotel. Early on the afternoon of the same day, Mr. Hoyte +came to my house with the same old man, wishing me to make all my +efforts to find the girl, in the meantime speaking very bitterly against +the Catholics, the Priests, and the Nuns; mentioning that my daughter +had been in the nunnery, where she had been ill treated. I denied that +my daughter had ever been in a nunnery; that when she was about eight +years of age, she went to a day-school. At that time came in two other +persons, whom Mr. Hoyte introduced; one was Rev. Mr. Brewster, I do not +recollect the other reverence's name. They all requested me, in the most +pressing terms, to try to make it out; my daughter had been in the +nunnery; and that she had some connection with the Priests of the +seminary, of which nunneries and Priests she spoke in the most +outrageous terms; said, that should I make that out, myself, my +daughter, and child, would be protected for life. I expected to get rid +of their importunities, in relating the melancholy circumstances by +which my daughter was frequently deranged in her head, and told them, +that when at the age of about seven years, she broke a slate pencil in +her head; that since that time her mental faculties were deranged, and +by times much more than at other times, but that she was far from being +an idiot; that she could make the most ridiculous, but most plausible +stories; and that as to the history that she had been in a nunnery, it +was a fabrication, for she never was in a nunnery; that at one time I +wished to obtain a place in a nunnery for her; that I had employed the +influence of Mrs. De Montenach, of Dr. Nelson, and of our pastor, the +Rev. Mr. Esson, but without success. I told them notwithstanding I was a +Protestant and did not like the Catholic religion--like all other +respectable Protestants, I held the priests of the seminary and the nuns +of Montreal in veneration, as the most pious and charitable persons I +ever knew. After many more solicitations to the same effect, three of +them retired, but Mr. Hoyte remained, adding to the other solicitations; +he was stopped, a person having rapped at the door; it was then +candlelight. I opened the door, and found Doctor McDonald, who told me +that my daughter Maria was at his house, in the most distressing +situation; that she wished him to come and make her peace with me; I +went with the Doctor to his house in M'Gill-street; she came with me to +near my house, but would not come in, notwithstanding I assured her that +she would be kindly treated, and that I would give her her child; she +crossed the parade ground, and I went into the house, and returned for +her.--Mr. Hoyte followed me. She was leaning on the west railing of the +parade; we went to her: Mr. Hoyte told her, my dear Mary, I am sorry you +have treated yourself and me in this manner; I hope you have not exposed +what has passed between us, nevertheless; I will treat you the same as +ever, and spoke to her in the most affectionate terms; took her in his +arms; she at first spoke to him very cross, and refused to go with him, +but at last consented and went with him, absolutely refusing to come to +my house. Soon after, Mr. Hoyte came and demanded the child; I gave it +to him. Next morning Mr. Hoyte returned, and was more pressing than in +his former solicitation, and requested me to say that my daughter had +been in the nunnery: that should I say so, it would be better than one +hundred pounds to me; that I would be protected for life, and that I +should leave Montreal, and that I would be better provided for +elsewhere; I answered, that thousands of pounds would not induce me to +perjure myself; then he got saucy and abusive to the utmost; he said he +came to Montreal to detect the infamy of the Priests and the Nuns; that +he could not leave my daughter destitute in the wide world as I had +done: afterward said, No! she is not your daughter, she is too sensible +for that, and went away--He was gone but a few minutes, when Mr. Doucet, +an ancient Magistrate in Montreal, entered. That gentleman told me that +Mr. Goodenough had just now called upon him, and requested him to let me +know that I had a daughter in Montreal; that she had come in with a Mr. +Hoyte and a child, and that she had left Mr. Hoyte and the child, but +that she was still in Montreal, so as to enable me to look for her, and +that I might prevent some mischief that was going on. Then I related to +him partly what I have above said. When he was going, two other +gentlemen came. I refused to give them any information at first, +expecting that they were of the party that had so much agitated me for a +few days; but being informed by Mr. Doucet, that he knew one of them, +particularly Mr. Perkins, for a respectable citizen for a long time in +Montreal, and the other Mr. Curry, two ministers from the United States, +that if they came to obtain some information about the distressing +events she related to have occurred in her family, he thought it would +do no harm, and I related it to them: they appeared to be afflicted with +such a circumstance; I have not seen them any more. I asked Mr. Doucet +if the man Hoyte could not be put in jail; he replied that he thought +not, for what he knew of the business. Then I asked if the Priests were +informed of what was going on; he replied, yes, but they never take up +these things; they allow their character to defend itself. A few days +after, I heard that my daughter was at one Mr. Johnson's, a joiner, at +Griffintown, with Mr. Hoyte; that he passed her for a nun that had +escaped from the Hotel Dieu Nunnery. I went there two days successively +with Mrs. Tarbert; the first day, Mrs. Johnson denied her, and said that +she was gone to New York with Mr. Hoyte. As I was returning, I met Mr. +Hoyte on the wharf, and I reproached him for his conduct. I told him +that my daughter had been denied me at Johnson's, but that I would have +a search-warrant to have her; when I returned, he had really gone with +my unfortunate daughter; and I received from Mr. Johnson, his wife and a +number of persons in their house, the grossest abuse, mixed with texts +of the Gospel, Mr. Johnson bringing a Bible for me to swear on. I +retired more deeply afflicted than ever, and further sayeth not. + +"Sworn before me, this 24th of October, 1835." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF NANCY M'GAN.) + +"_Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, came and appeared Nancy M'Gan, of +Montreal, wife of James Tarbert, who has requested me to receive this +affidavit, and declared that she had been intimately acquainted with +Mrs. (widow) Monk, of Montreal, a Protestant woman. I know the said +Maria Monk; last spring she told me that the father of the child she +then was carrying, was burned in Mr. Owsten's house. She often went away +in the country, and at the request of her mother I accompanied her +across the river. Last summer she came back to my lodgings, and told me +that she had made out the father of the child; and that very night left +me and went away. The next morning I found that she was in a house of +bad fame, where I went for her, and told the woman keeping that house, +that she ought not to allow that girl to remain there, for she was a +girl of good and honest family. Maria Monk then told me that she would +not go to him (alluding, as I understood, to the father of the child), +for that he wanted her to swear an oath that would lose her soul for +ever, but jestingly said, should make her a lady for ever. I then told +her (Maria), do not lose your soul for money. She told me she had +swapped her silk gown in the house where I had found her, for a calico +one, and got some money to boot; having previously told me if she had +some money she would go away, and would not go near him any more. Soon +after, Mr. Hoyte and another gentleman came. Mr. Hoyte asked me where +she had slept the night previous, and that he would go for the silk +gown; the woman showed the gown, and told him that if he would pay three +dollars he should have the gown; he went away, and came back with Maria +Monk, paid the three dollars and got the gown; I was then present. + +"Being at Mrs. Monk's, I saw a child which she mentioned to be her +daughter Maria's child. Some time after, Mrs. Monk requested me to +accompany her to Griffintown, to look for her daughter. We went, to Mr. +Johnson's house, a joiner in that suburb: we met Mr. Hoyte and he spoke +to Mrs. Monk; when at Mr. Johnson's, Mrs. Manly asked for her daughter; +Mrs. Johnson said she was not there. I saw Mr. Hoyte at Mrs. Monk's; he +was in company with three other persons, apparently Americans, earnestly +engaged in conversation, but so much confused I could not make out what +was said; and farther sayeth not." + +"Her + +"NANCY + M'GAN. + +"mark. + +"Sworn before me, on this 24th October, 1835. + +"W. ROBERTSON, J. P." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF ASA GOODENOUGH.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, William Robertson, one of his Majesty's Justices of the +Peace, for the District of Montreal, appeared Asa Goodenough, of +Montreal, holder of the Exchange Coffee House, who, after having made +oath upon the Holy Evangelists, declareth and sayeth, that on or about +the nineteenth of August last, two gentlemen and a young female with a +child, put up at the Exchange Coffee House, of which I am the owner; +they were entered in the book, one under the name of Judge Turner, the +other as Mr. Hoyte, a Methodist preacher, and agent or superintendent +for the establishment of Sunday-schools, &c. + +"Being informed by Catherine Conners, a confidential servant, that +something mysterious was passing amongst the above-named, which led me +to call on them for an explanation, they answered in a very +unsatisfactory manner. I afterward learned that the name of the young +woman was Maria Monk, that her mother lived in town, that she was not +married to Mr. Hoyte, and they came to Montreal with the view, as Mr. +Hoyte said, to disclose the infamy of the Priests, whilst she was at the +Nunnery. I thought it prudent to give information of this to a +magistrate. Seeing Mr. Doucet's name on the list, I went to him, and +requested him to give information to the mother of the young woman, of +the circumstances in which her daughter was. He did so, and the +disclosure of the design of Mr. Hoyte was the consequence. + +"Montreal. + +"ASA GOODENOUGH." + + * * * * * + +"The following affidavits have been translated from the _L'Ami du +Peuple,_ Montreal, Nov. 7, 1835." + +(AFFIDAVIT OF CATHARINE CONNERS.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace for +the District of Montreal, appeared Catherine Conners of Montreal, a +servant in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, in the city of Montreal; she +having made oath on the Holy Evangelists, to say the truth and nothing +but the truth, declared and said what follows: + +"Towards the 19th of August last, two men and a woman came to the +_Exchange Coffee House_; their names were written in the book, one +by the name of Judge Turner, and the other as Mr. Hoyte; the name of the +woman was not written in the book, in which the names of travellers are +written, because I was informed that they were taking a single room with +two beds. Some time after another room was given to them for their +accommodation; the woman passed for the wife of Mr. Hoyte. + +"The day following, when I was making the bed, I found the woman in +tears; having made the remark to her that her child was a very young +traveller, she replied that she had not the power to dispense with the +journey, for they travelled on business of importance; she also said +that she had never had a day of happiness since she had left Montreal, +which was four years, with Mr. Hoyte; she expressed a wish to go and see +her father. She entreated me to try and procure secretly clothes for +her, for Mr. Hoyte wished to dine with her in his own room, in which he +was then taking care of the child. I gave her my shawl and bonnet, and +conducted her secretly out by the street St Pierre; she never returned, +and left the child in the hands of Mr. Hoyte. She said that her +_husband_ was a Methodist preacher, and agent of the Sunday School +for Montreal, in which he had resided four months last winter; but she +had not then been with him. When I returned to the room, Mr. Hoyte was +still taking care of the child; be asked me if I had seen _his +lady_; I said no. Upon this question he told me that the father of +_his lady_ was dead, that her mother yet lived in the suburbs of +Quebec, and he asked me for all the clothes which I had given to wash +for him, _his lady_ and child; clothes the _lady_ had taken +from the only portmanteau which they had. Beyond that, I perceived +nothing remarkable, except that Mr. Hoyte wished to conceal this woman, +and to prevent her from going out. I heard the judge say to him, 'now +she is yours.' Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + +Mary McCaffrey, also a chambermaid in the hotel of Mr. Goodenough, +corroborates the preceding deposition. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF HENRY M'DONALD.) + +_"Province of Lower Canada, District of Montreal._ + +"Before me, W. Robertson, one of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace, +for the District of Montreal, appeared Henry M'Donald, physician, who, +after taking an oath on the Holy Evangelists to say the truth, declared, +that in the month of August last, at seven o'clock in the evening, a +young woman called at his house with all the symptoms of an +extraordinary agitation, and in great distress. She asked his +professional advice, complaining of great pains in the breast. On +questioning her, he learned that she had a young child, which she said +was at Mr. Goodenough's, and that this child was taken away from her. +She said that the father of the child was a Methodist Minister, and +general agent of the Sunday-Schools. She told me his name, but I cannot +recollect it. She told me that now and then her intellectual faculties +were weakened in such a manner that she could not support herself. She +told me that she would be under great obligation to me, if I would go to +her mother's house, and get her child, and procure lodgings for her; +that she was without means, and did not know where to go. She could not +remain with her mother, because she felt that her conduct had disgraced +her family. I went in quest of Mrs. Monk, her mother; she had just come +in quest of her daughter, and they went away together from my house. + +(Signed) "HENRY M'DONALD." + +"Sworn before me the 2d November, 1835. + +(Signed) "W. ROBERTSON." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF MATTHEW RICHEY.) + +_To the Editor of the Montreal Morning Courier._ + +Sir,--Among the affidavits published in your paper of to-day, relating +to Mr. Hoyte and Maria Monk, I observe a deposition by Mr. Goodenough, +that when Mr. Hoyte, in the month of August last, put up at the Exchange +Coffee-house, he was entered on the book as a _Methodist Preacher, and +Agent or Superintendant of Sunday Schools_, &c. It has, however, been +ascertained, from an examination of the book referred too, that no +official designation is appended in it to Mr. Hoyte's name. This +discrepancy, Mr. Goodenough states, took place entirely through mistake, +and he did not know that Mr. Hoyte was thus characterized in his +affidavit till he saw it in print. But as a similar mistake has found +its way into several of the depositions which have been elicited by this +unhappy affair, I deem it incumbent upon me, as a regularly appointed +Methodist Minister of this city, to declare that Mr. Hoyte has never had +any connexion with the Methodist Society, either as a preacher or as an +agent for Sunday Schools; and I would, at the same time, express my +surprise and regret, that the _New York Protestant Vindicator_ +should have taken up, and industriously circulated, charges of so grave +a nature against the Priests and Nuns of this city, derived from so +polluted a source. From such a species of _vindication_, no cause +can receive either honour or credit. By giving this publicity, you will +confer a favour on yours, respectfully, + +"MATTHEW RICHEY, _Wesleyan Minister_." + +"Montreal, Nov. 16, 1835. + + * * * * * + +"Although we could produce several other affidavits, of an equally +unimpeachable character as the above, yet we deem the evidence advanced +more than enough to show the entire, falsehood and extravagance of the +fabrications in the _Protestant Vindicator_." + + * * * * * + +Here closes all the testimony that has been published or brought against +me. It requires the suppression of my feelings to repeat to the world +charges against myself and my companions, so unfounded, and painful to +every virtuous reader. But I [illegible] to the truth to substantiate my +narrative, and prefer that everything should be fairly laid before the +world. That my opponents had nothing further to produce against me at +that time, is proved by the following remark by the Editor of the New +York Catholic Diary, to be found in very paper in which he published the +preceding affidavits:-- + +_"Here, then, is the whole!"_ + +In a N. Y. Catholic Diary of March last, is a letter from Father +McMahon, a Missionary, dated at Sherbrooke, in Canada, in which, as will +be seen by the extracts given beyond, he does not even allude to any +other testimony than this. Of course my readers will allow that I have +reason to say--"Here, then, is the whole!" + +The following extracts are given for several reasons. 1st. To prove, by +the admission of my adversaries themselves, that no new testimony has +been produced since the publication of the Montreal affidavits. 2d. That +no disposition is shown to bring the truth to the only fair test--the +opening of the Nunnery. 3d. That they are inconsistent in several +respects, as, while they pretend to leave the characters of the priests +and nuns to defend themselves, they labour with great zeal and acrimony +to quiet public suspicion, and to discredit my testimony. 4th. Another +object in giving these extracts is, to show a specimen of the style of +most of the Roman Catholic writers against me. In respect to argument, +temper, and scarcity of facts, Father McMahon is on a level with the +editors of the Diary and Green Banner, judging from such of their papers +as I have seen. + + * * * * * + +_From Father McMahon's Letter to the editor of the N. Y. Catholic +Diary of March, 1836._ + +"The silence by which you indulge the latent springs of a mal-propense, +so far from being an argument for culpability, is based upon the +charitableness of a conscious innocence, and is, therefore, highly +commendable. I say it is highly commendable, inasmuch as these worthy +and respectable characters do not deign to answer falsehood, or turn +their attention from their sacred avocations by effectually repelling +allegations which all men, women, and children, able to articulate a +syllable, in the city of Montreal, have repeatedly pronounced to be +utterly false, detestably false, and abominably scandalous. + + * * * * * + +"May I now call upon you, honest Americans, who, though you may differ +from me in doctrinal points of religion, have, I trust, the due regard +for truth and charity towards all mankind; and into whose hand that +instrument of Satan's emissaries may fall, before you believe one +syllable [illegible] attentively to peruse the following +_facts_, which are [illegible] men of learning, of every +persuasion, and in every country, and which you will find, by mature +investigation, to serve as a sufficient key to discover the wicked +falsehoods, circulated by the enemies of truth, in the work called, 'The +Disclosures of Maria Monk,' but which, in consequence of the total +absence of truth from the things therein contained, I have termed (and I +think justly on that account), the devil's prayer-book. I beseech you to +give my statements a fair, but impartial trial, weigh correctly the +arguments opposed to them, according to your judgment--do not allow +yourselves to be gulled by the empty or unmeaning phraseology of some of +your bloated, though temperate, preachers. All I ask for the test of the +following statement, is simply and solely the exercise of your common +sense, without equivocation. 1st. I distinctly and unequivocally state, +that the impugners of the Catholic religion and its doctrines, never +dared to meet us in the fair field of argument. Never yet have they +entered the lists in an eristical encounter, but to their cost. Why so? +because we have reason, religion, and the impenetrable shield of true +syllogistic argumentation in our favour. Witness, in support of the +assertion, the stupid and besotted crew (pardon me for this expression, +and find a proper term yourselves, for the politico-Theological +Charlatans of England), who, not daring to encounter the Catholic +Hierarchy of Ireland, in an honorable religious disputation, are forced +to drag to their assistance those very apostates from Catholicity who +were considered by their superiors unworthy of the situation they +attempted to hold in that Church; for the purpose of propping up the +staggering and debauched harlot, whose grave they are now preparing. +Only remark how they are obliged to have recourse to the exploded +scholastic opinion of Peter Dens, by way of showing the intolerance of +the Catholics, who repudiate the doctrine of religious intolerance. +Maryland, Bavaria, and the Cantons of Switzerland, prove the contrary by +their universal religious toleration. Now I could mention, if I thought +I had space enough on this sheet, numbers of Protestant divines, who, in +their writings, have strongly inculcated the absurd doctrines of ruling +our consciences by the authority of the Civil Magistrates. See then, how +strange it is that they seek to condemn us for doctrines which we abhor, +and which they practice, even to this day. Mark that for an argument +against our doctrines. + +"2dly. I assert, that notwithstanding all the persecutions, all the +falsehood and defamation daily exercised against the Catholics and their +religion, they are at this moment the only people on the face of the +earth, who maintain amongst them the unity of the true faith, and the +regular succession in the Ministry, from Christ and his Apostles. + +"3dly. I assert, that the late scandalous production against the Catholic +Clergy of Montreal and the Catholic institutions there, is a tissue of +false, foul, designing, and scandalous misrepresentation. 1st. Because +upon strict examination into all its bearings, it has been so proved +upon the solemn oaths of a magistrate and others concerned. 2dly. +Because it is no way consonant to reason or common sense to say that +those living at a considerable distance, and avowedly hostile to the +Catholics and their religion, should feel so interested in the matter? +as the Catholics themselves, who are vitally concerned, and who had +every facility of discovering any impropriety; who are zealous of the +purity of their religion and its Ministers. 3dly. Because the loud cry +of all the inhabitants of every denomination, from the well-known +integrity, the extraordinary piety, the singular charity and devotedness +of the Catholic Clergy, came in peals of just wrath and well-merited +indignation on the heads of the degenerate monsters who basely, but +ineffectually, attempted to murder the unsullied fame of those whom they +deservedly held, and will hold, in the highest estimation. + +"T. B. McMahon, _Missionary_." + +Now this letter alludes to testimony legally given, as substantiating +the charges against me. What testimony is intended? Any new testimony? +If so, where, and what is it? I never heard of any, of any description, +except what I have inserted on the preceding pages, unless I except the +violent, unsupported, and inconsistent assertion in newspapers, before +alluded to. Has any testimony, legally given, been produced, which +neither the Catholic Diary, nor any other Catholic paper, has either +inserted or alluded to? No. The Missionary, McMahon, must refer to the +Montreal affidavits; and since he has expressed his opinion in relation +to their credibility and weight, I request my readers to form their own +opinions, as I have put the means in their power. + +It may, perhaps, appear to some, an act displaying uncommon +"_concern_" in my affairs, or those of the Convent, for Father +McMahon to take the pains to write on the subject from Canada. I know +more of him and his concerns than the public do; and I am glad that my +book has reached him. Happy would it have been for him, if he could +prove that he did not leave Sherbrooke from the day when I took the +Black veil, until the day when I cast it off. There are many able to +bear witness against him in that institution (if they have not been +removed), and one out of it, who could easily silence him, by +disclosures that he has too much reason to apprehend. + +But to return--I assure my readers, then, that this book contains all +the testimony that has been brought against me, so far as I can +ascertain. + +The extensive publication of the Montreal affidavits (for they appeared +in the Roman Catholic papers, and were circulated, it is believed, very +generally through New York), for a time, almost entirely closed the +newspapers against me. My publishers addressed the following letter to +the, editor of the N. Y. Catholic Diary, and waited on him with a third +person, to request its publication in his next paper, but he declined. +He expressed doubts of my being in the city, and intimated a wish to see +me; but when they acceded, he refused to meet me anywhere but _at his +own residence!_ + +The same letter was then offered to other editors in New York, and even +sent to Philadelphia for publication, but refused. It appeared on the +29th of February, in the Brooklyn Star, thus introduced:-- + +_Extracts from the Long Island Star of Feb. 29th._ + +"Since the publication of our last paper, we have received a +communication from Messrs. Howe and Bates, of New York, the publishers +of Miss Monk's 'Awful Disclosures.' It appears that some influences have +been at work in that city, adverse to the free examination of the case +between her and the priests of Canada; for thus far the news papers have +been almost entirely closed against every thing in her defence, while +most of them have published false charges against the book, some of a +preposterous nature, the contradiction of which is plain and palpable. + +"Returning to New York, she then first resolved to publish her story, +which she has recently done, after several intelligent and disinterested +persons had satisfied themselves by much examination that it was +_true_. + +"When it became known in Canada that this was her intention, six +affidavits were published in some of the newspapers, intended to destroy +confidence in her character; but these were found very contradictory in +several important points, and others to afford undersigned confirmation +of statements before made by her. + +"On the publication of her book, the New York Catholic Diary, the Truth +Teller, the Green Banner, and other papers, made virulent attacks upon +it, and one of them proposed that the publishers should be 'Lynched.' An +anonymous handbill was also circulated in New York, declaring the work a +malignant libel, got up by Protestant clergymen, and promising an ample +refutation of it in a few days. This was re-published in the Catholic +Diary, &c. with the old Montreal affidavits which latter were also +distributed through New York and Brooklyn; and on the authority of +these, several Protestant newspapers denounced the work as false and +malicious. + +"Another charge, quite inconsistent with the rest, was also made, not +only by the leading Roman Catholic papers, but by several others at +second hand--viz. that it was a mere copy of an old European work. This +has been promptly denied by the publishers, with the offer of $100 +reward for any book at all resembling it. + +"Yet, such is the resolution of some and the unbelief of others, that it +is impossible for the publishers to obtain insertion for their replies +in the New York papers generally, and they have been unsuccessful in an +attempt in Philadelphia. + +"This is the ground on which the following article has been offered to +us for publication in the Star. It was offered to Mr. Schneller, a Roman +priest, and editor of the Catholic Diary, for insertion in his paper of +Saturday before last, but refused, although written expressly as an +answer to the affidavits and charges his previous number had contained. +This article has also been refused insertion in a Philadelphia daily +paper, after it had been satisfactorily ascertained that there was no +hope of gaining admission for it into any of the New York papers. + +"It should be stated, in addition, that the authoress of the book, Maria +Monk, is in New York, and stands ready to answer any questions, and +submit to any inquiries, put in a proper manner, and desires nothing so +strongly as an opportunity to prove before a court the truth of her +story. She has already found several persons of respectability who have +confirmed some of the facts, important and likely to be attested by +concurrent evidence; and much testimony in her favour may be soon +expected by the public. + +"With these facts before them, intelligent readers will judge for +themselves. She asks for investigation, while her opponents deny her +every opportunity to meet the charges made against her. Mr. Schneller, +after expressing a wish to see her, to the publishers, refused to +meet her anywhere, _unless in his own house;_ while Mr. Quarter, +another Roman Catholic priest, called to see her, at ten o'clock, one +night, accompanied by another man, without giving their names, and under +the false pretence of being bearers of a letter from her brother in +Montreal." + + * * * * * + +_Reply to the Montreal Affidavits, refused publication by the Catholic +Diary &c._ + +"To the Editor of the Catholic Diary. + +"SIR--In your paper of last Saturday, you published six affidavits from +Montreal, which are calculated, so far as they are believed, to +discredit the truth of the 'Awful Disclosures' of Maria Monk, a book of +which we are the publishers. We address the following remarks to you, +with a request that you will publish them in the Catholic Diary, that +your readers may have the means of judging for themselves. If the case +be so plain a one as you seem to suppose, they will doubtless perceive +more plainly the bearing and force of the evidence you present, when +they see it brought into collision with that which it is designed to +overthrow. + +"First, We have to remark, that the affidavits which you publish might +have been furnished you in this city, without the trouble or delay of +sending to Montreal. They have been here two or three months, and were +carefully examined about that period by persons who are acquainted with +Maria Monk's story, and were desirous of ascertaining the truth. After +obtaining further evidence from Canada these affidavits were decided to +contain strong confirmation of various points in her story, then already +written down, only part of which has yet been published. + +"Second. It is remarkable that of these six affidavits, the first is +that of Dr. Robinson, and all the rest are signed by him as Justice of +the Peace; and a Justice, too, who had previously refused to take the +affidavit of Maria Monk. Yet, unknown to himself, this same Dr. R., by +incidents of his own stating, corroborates some very important parts of +Miss Monk's statements. He says, indeed, that he has ascertained where +she was part of the time when she professed to have been in the Nunnery. +But his _evidence_ on this point is merely hearsay, and he does not +even favour us with that. + +"Third, One of the affidavits is that of Miss Monk's mother, who claims +to be a Protestant, and yet declares, that she proposed to send her +infant grandchild to a Nunnery! She says her daughter has long been +subject to fits of insanity, (of which, however, we can say no traces +are discoverable in New York,) and has never been in a Nunnery since she +was at school in one, while quite a child. She however does not mention +where her daughter has spent any part of the most important years of her +life. A large part of her affidavit, as well as several others, is taken +up with matter relating to one of the persons who accompanied Miss M. to +Montreal last summer, and has no claim to be regarded as direct evidence +for or against the authenticity of her book. + +"Fourth, The affidavit of Nancy McGan is signed with a cross, as by one +ignorant of writing; and she states that she visited a house of ill +fame, (to all appearance alone,) although, as she asserts, to bring away +Miss M. Her testimony, therefore, does not present the strongest claims +to our confidence. Besides, it is known that she has shown great +hostility, to Miss Monk, in the streets of Montreal: and she would not, +it is believed, have had much influence on an intelligent court or jury, +against Miss M., in that city, if the latter had been fortunate enough +to obtain the legal investigation into her charges, which as Dr. R. +mentions, she declared to be the express object of her visit to that +city, in the last summer, and in which she failed, after nearly a +month's exertion. + +"Fifth, The affidavit of Mr. Goodenough is contradicted in one point by +the letter of Mr. Richey, a Wesleyan minister, which you insert, and +contains little else of any importance to this or any other case. * * * * + +"Sixth, You copied in a conspicuous manner, from a Catholic paper in +Boston, a charge against the book, the groundlessness of which has been +exposed in some of the New York papers, viz. that large parts of it +were, 'word for word and letter for letter.' (names only altered,) +copied from a book published some years ago in Europe, under the title +of 'The Gates of Hell opened.' We have not seen in your paper any +correction of this aspersion, although the assertion of it has placed +you in a dilemma; for, if such were the fact, as you asserted, the +Montreal affidavits would have little application to the case. Besides, +that book, having proceeded from Catholics, and relating, as was +intimated, to scenes in European Convents, divulged by witnesses not +chargeable with prejudices against them, is to be taken for true with +other names; and therefore the charge of extravagance or improbability, +which is so much urged against our book, is entirely nullified, without +appealing to other sources of information which cannot be objected to. + +"But before closing, allow us to remark, that you, who claim so strongly +the confidence of your readers in the testimony of witnesses in +Montreal, who speak only of things collateral to the main subject in +question, must be prepared to lay extraordinary weight on evidence of a +higher nature, and must realize something of the anxiety with which we, +and the American public generally, we believe, stand ready to receive +the evidence to be displayed to the eye and to the touch, either for or +against the solemn declaration of Miss Monk, whenever the great test +shall be applied to which she appeals, viz. the opening of the Hotel +Dieu Nunnery at Montreal. Then, sir, and not till then, will the great +question be settled,--Is our book true or false? Affidavits may possibly +be multiplied, although you say, 'Here, then, is the whole!' Dr. +Robertson may be called again to testify, or receive testimony as +Justice of the Peace,--but the question is _not_, what do people +believe or think _outside_ of the _Convent?_ but, _'what has +been done in it?'_ + +"By the issue of this investigation, Miss Monk declares she is ready to +stand or fall. + +"You speak, sir, of the 'backwardness' of persons to appear in defence +of Miss Monk's book. We promise to appear as often on the subject as you +are willing to publish our communications. In one of the paragraphs you +publish, our book is spoken of as one of the evils arising from a +'_free_ press.' We think, sir, that 'a free press' is exposed to +less condemnation through the 'Awful Disclosures,' than the 'close +Nunneries' which it is designed to expose. + +"Respectfully, &c + +"New York, Feb. 22d, 1836." + + * * * * * + +The above was afterward copied in other papers. The following +certificate appeared in the Protestant Vindicator, and other papers, in +March, 1836, introducing the two first witnesses. + +"_The truth of Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures' amply certified._ + +"We the subscribers, having an acquaintance with Miss Maria Monk, and +having considered the evidence of different kinds which has been +collected in relation to her case, have no hesitation in declaring our +belief in the truth of the statements she makes in her book recently +published in New York, entitled 'Awful Disclosures,' &c. We at that +same time declare that the assertion, originally made in the Roman +Catholic newspapers of Boston, that the book was copied from a work +entitled 'The Gates of Hell opened,' is wholly destitute of foundation; +it being entirely new, and not copied from any thing whatsoever. + +"And we further declare, that _no evidence has yet been produced which +discredits the statements of Miss Monk; while, on the contrary, her +story has received, and continues to receive, confirmation from various +sources._ + +"During the last week, two important witnesses spontaneously appeared, +and offered to give public testimony in her favour. From them the +following declarations have been received. The first is an affidavit +given by Mr. William Miller, now a resident of this city. The second is +a statement received from a young married woman, who, with her husband, +also resides here. In the clear and repeated statements made by these +two witnesses, we place entire reliance; who are ready to furnish +satisfaction to any persons making reasonable inquiries on the subject. + +"W. C. BROWNLEE. + +"JOHN J. SLOCUM. + +"ANDREW BRUCE. + +"D. FANSHAW. + +"AMOS BELDEN. + +"DAVID WESSON. + +"THOMAS HOGAN." + + * * * * * + +(AFFIDAVIT OF WILLIAM MILLER.) + +"_City and County of New York, ss._ + +"William Miller being duly sworn, doth say--I knew Maria Monk when she +was quite a child, and was acquainted with all her father's family. My +father, Mr. Adam Miller, kept the government school at St. John's, Lower +Canada, for some years. Captain Wm. Monk, Maria's father, lived in the +garrison, a short distance from the village, and she attended the school +with me for some months, probably as much as a year. Her four brothers +also attended with us. Our families were on terms of intimacy, as my +father had a high regard for Captain Monk; but the temper of his wife +was such, even at that time, as to cause much trouble. Captain Monk died +very suddenly, as was reported, in consequence of being poisoned. Mrs. +Monk was then keeper of the Government House in Montreal, and received a +pension, which privilege she has since enjoyed. In the summer of 1832, I +left Canada, and came to this city. In about a year afterward I visited +Montreal, and on the day when the Governor reviewed the troops, I +believe about the end of August, I called at the Government House, where +I saw Mrs. Monk and several of the family. I inquired where Maria was, +and she told me that she was in the nunnery. This fact I well remember, +because the information gave me great pain, as I had unfavorable +opinions of the nunneries. On reading the 'Awful Disclosures,' I at once +knew she was the eloped nun, but was unable to find her until a few days +since, when we recognized each other immediately. I give with pleasure +my testimony in her favour, as she is among strangers, and exertions +have been made against her. I declare my personal knowledge of many +facts stated in her book, and my full belief in the truth of her story, +which, shocking as it is, cannot appear incredible to those persons +acquainted with Canada. + +"WILLIAM MILLER. + +"Sworn before me, this 3d day of March, 1836. + +"BENJAMIN D. K. CRAIG, + +"Commissioner of Deeds, &c." + + * * * * * + +_From the Protestant Vindicator of March 9._ + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above- +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +(TESTIMONY OF ANOTHER OLD SCHOOLMATE.) + +"I was born at Montreal, and resided there until within a few months, +and where my friends still remain. I was educated among the Catholics, +and have never separated myself from them. + +"I knew Maria Monk when quite a child. We went to school together for +about a year, as near as I can remember, to Mr. Workman, Sacrament- +street, in Montreal. She is about one month younger than myself. We left +that school at the same time, and entered the Congregational Nunnery +nearly together. I could mention many things which I witnessed there, +calculated to confirm some of her accounts. + +"I knew of the elopement of a priest named Leclerc, who was a confessor, +with a nun sent from the Congregational Nunnery to teach in a village. +They were brought back, after which she gave birth to an infant, and was +again employed as a teacher. + +"Children were often punished in the Congregational Nunnery, by being +made to stand with arms extended, to imitate Christ's posture on the +cross; and when we found vermin in our soup, as was often the case, we +were exhorted to overcome our repugnance to it, because Christ died for +us. I have seen such belts as are mentioned in the 'Awful Disclosures,' +as well as gags; but never saw them applied. + +"Maria Monk left the Congregational Nunnery before I did, and became a +Novice in the Hotel Dieu. I remember her entrance into the latter very +well, for we had a 'jour de congé,' holiday, on that occasion. + +"Some short time subsequently, after school hours one afternoon, while +in the school-room in the second story of the Congregational Nunnery, +several of the girls standing near a window exclaimed, 'There is Maria +Monk.' I sprang to the window to look, and saw her with several other +novices, in the yard of the Hotel Dieu, among the plants which grew +there. She did not appear to notice us, but I perfectly recognised her. + +"I have frequently visited the public hospital of the Hotel Dieu. It is +the custom there for some of the nuns and novices to enter at three +o'clock, P.M., in procession with food and delicacies for the sick. I +recollect some of my visits there by circumstances attending them. For +instance, I was much struck, on several occasions, by the beauty of a +young novice, whose slender, graceful form, and interesting appearance, +distinguished her from the rest. On inquiry, I learnt that her name was +Dubois, or something like it, and the daughter of an old man who had +removed from the country, and lived near the Place d'Armes. She was so +generally admired for her beauty, that she was called 'la belle St. +François'--St. Francis being the saint's name she had assumed in the +Convent. + +"I frequently went to the hospital to see two of my particular friends +who were novices: and subsequently to visit one who had a sore throat, +and was sick for some weeks. I saw Maria Monk there many times, in the +dress of a novice, employed in different ways but we were never allowed +to speak to each other. + +"Towards the close of the winter of 1833-4, I visited the hospital of +the Hotel Dieu very frequently, to see Miss Bourke, a friend of mine, +although I was not permitted to speak with her. While there one day, at +the hour of _'congé'_ or _'collation'_ which, as I before +stated, was at three P.M., a procession of nuns and novices entered, and +among the former I saw Maria Monk, with a black veil, &c. She perceived +and recognized me; but put her finger on her lips in token of silence; +and knowing how rigidly the rules were enforced, I did not speak. + +"A short time afterward, I saw her again in the same place, and under +similar circumstances. + +"I can fix the year when this occurred, because I recollect that the +nuns in the hospital stared at a red dress I wore that season; and I am +certain about that time of year, because I left my galoshes at the +door before I went in. + +"The improper conduct of a priest was the cause of my leaving the +Congregational Nunnery: for my brother saw him kissing a [illegible] +one day while he was on a visit to me, and exclaimed--'O mon Dieu! +what a place you are in!--If father does not take you out of it I +will, if I have to tear you away.' + +"After the last sight I had of Maria Monk in the hospital, I never saw +nor heard of her, until after I had been for some time an inhabitant of +New York. I then saw an extract from 'Awful Disclosures,' published in a +newspaper, when I was perfectly satisfied that she was the authoress, +and again at liberty. I was unable for several weeks to find her +residence, but at length visited the house when she was absent. Seeing +an infant among a number of persons who were strangers to me, as those +present will testify, I declared that it must be the child mentioned in +her book, from the striking resemblance it bears to Father Phelan, whom +I well know. This declaration has also been made by others. + +"When Maria Monk entered, she passed across the room, without turning +towards me; but I recognised her by her gait, and when she saw me she +knew me at once. I have since spent many hours with her, and am entirely +convinced of the truth of her story, especially as I knew many things +before which tend to confirm the statements which she makes." + +["It is superfluous to add any thing to the above testimony. Let the +Roman priests of Montreal open the Hotel Dieu Nunnery for our +inspection, and thus confute Maria Monk: or, Mr. Conroy is again +challenged to institute a criminal process against her, or a civil suit +against the publishers of her volume--They dare not place the eloped nun +or her booksellers in that 'Inquisition;' because they know that it +would only be 'putting themselves to the torture!'"--_Ed. Prot. +Vind._] + + * * * * * + +_From The Protestant Vindicator of March 16th._ + +"We recommend the following communications to all persons who doubt the +wickedness of Nunneries. The young gentleman who sent us the letter is +now in this city, and we have heard the same statements from other +witnesses. That subterraneous passages from the Seminary to the +Nunneries, we ourselves have seen, and close by the spot designated by +our correspondent:-- + +(STATEMENT OF J. M.) + +_"Underground passage from the Jesuit Seminary to the Hotel Dieu +Nunnery, Montreal._ + +"I have been informed that you are endeavoring to obtain facts and other +incidental circumstances relative to the Black Nunnery, in Montreal, and +the disclosures concerning it, made by Maria Monk, in which are many +hard things, but hard as they are, they are not indigestible by us +Canadians; we believe that she has told but a small part of what she +must know, if she was but half the time there which she says she was. +Maria Monk has mentioned in her book something about the underground +passage which leads from the Black Nunnery to other places in Montreal. +That fact I know by ocular demonstration, and which nine tenths of the +Canadians also will not deny, for it has been opened several times by +the labourers, who have been digging for the purpose of laying pipes to +conduct gas and water. While preparing a place for the latter I saw one +of those passages; the earth being removed by the labourers, they struck +upon the top of the passage, and curiosity led them to see what was +beneath, for it sounded as though there was a hollow. They accordingly +removed the large flat stones which formed the top of the passage. Many +persons were looking on at the time, and several of them went down into +it; when they returned after a few minutes, they stated that they went +but a short distance, before they came to an intersection of passages, +and were afraid to proceed further. Shortly after, several priests were +on the spot, and prevented the people from further examining it; and had +the place shut up immediately, while they stood by and guarded it until +it was all done. The appearance of that part of the passage was the same +as I saw while they were laying the water pipes. The floor of it in both +[illegible] where I saw it was clean to appearance, with the exception of +a little dirt that fell in on opening them, and of stone flagging. I +have heard much about these underground passages in Montreal, in which +place I have spent the most of my days. I give you my name and +residence: and if you should be called upon from any quarter for the +truth of this statement. I am ready to attest it upon oath; and there +are others in this city who have witnessed the same things. The places +where those openings were made in the underground passages were in St. +Joseph street for the water pipes; and for the gas pipes in Notre-Dame +street, near Sacrament street, at a short distance from the Seminary. + +"W. M." + + * * * * * + +About the close of February last, a note was sent me from a person +signing himself the man who took me to the Almshouse. Soon after I had +an interview with Mr. Hilliker, whom I recognised as my first protector +in New York, and to whom I owe much--indeed, as I think, my life. He +kindly offered to give me his testimony, which follows:-- + +_From the New York Journal of Commerce_. + +(AFFIDAVIT OF JOHN HILLIKER,) + +_"City and County of New York, ss._ + +"John Hilliker, being duly sworn, doth depose and say--that one day +early in the month of May, 1835, while shooting near the Third Avenue, +opposite the three milestone, in company with three friends, I saw a +woman sitting in a field at a short distance, who attracted our +attention. On reaching her, we found her sitting with her head down, and +could not make her return any answer to our questions. On raising her +hat, we saw that she was weeping. She was dressed in an old calico +frock, (I think of a greenish colour,) with a checked apron, and an old +black bonnet. After much delay and weeping, she began to answer my +questions, but not until I had got my companions to leave us, and +assured her that I was a married man, and disposed to befriend her. + +"She then told me that her name was Maria, that she had been a nun in a +nunnery in Montreal, from which she had made her escape, on account of +the treatment she had received from priests in that institution, whose +licentious conduct she strongly intimated to me. She mentioned some +particulars concerning the Convent and her escape. She spoke +particularly of a small room where she used to attend, until the +physician entered to see the sick, when she accompanied him to write +down his prescriptions; and said that she escaped through a door which +he sometimes entered. She added, that she exchanged her dress after +leaving the nunnery, and that she came to New York in company with a +man, who left her as soon as the steamboat arrived. She farther stated, +that she expected soon to give birth to a child, having become pregnant +in the Convent; that she had no friend, and knew not where to find one; +that she thought of destroying her life; and wished me to leave her-- +saying, that if I should hear of a woman being found drowned in the East +River, she earnestly desired me never to speak of her. + +"I asked her if she had had any food that day, to which she answered, +no; and I gave her money to get some at the grocery of Mr. Cox, in the +neighbourhood. She left me, but I afterwards saw her in the fields, +going towards the river; and after much urgency, prevailed upon her to +go to a house where I thought she might be accommodated, offering to pay +her expenses. Failing in this attempt, I persuaded her, with much +difficulty, to go the Almshouse; and there we got her received, after I +had promised to call and see her, as she said she had something of great +consequence which she wished to communicate to me, and wished me to +write a letter to Montreal. + +"She had every appearance of telling the truth; so much so, that I have +never for a moment doubted the truth of her story, but told it to many +persons of my acquaintance, with entire confidence in its truth. She +seemed overwhelmed with grief, and in a very desperate state of mind. I +saw her weep for two hours or more without ceasing; and appeared very +feeble when attempting to walk, so that two of us supported her by the +arms. We observed also, that she always folded her hands under her apron +when she walked, as she has described the nuns as doing in her 'Awful +Disclosures.' + +"I called at the Almshouse gate several times and inquired for her; but +having forgotten half her name, I could not make it understood whom I +wished to see, and did not see her until the last week. When I saw some +of the first extracts from her book in a newspaper, I was confident that +they were parts of her story, and when I read the conclusion of the +work, I had not a doubt of it. Indeed, many things in the course of the +book I was prepared for from what she had told me. + +"When I saw her, I recognised her immediately, although she did not know +me at first, being in a very different dress. As soon as she was +informed where she had seen me, she recognised me. I have not found in +the book any thing inconsistent with what she had stated to me when I +first saw her. + +"When I first found her in May, 1835, she had evidently sought +concealment. She had a letter in her hand, which she refused to let me +see; and when she found I was determined to remove her, she tore it in +small pieces, and threw them down. Several days after I visited the spot +again and picked them up, to learn something of the contents but could +find nothing intelligible, except the first part of the Signature, +'Maria.' + +"Of the truth of her story I have not the slightest doubt, and I think I +never can until the Nunnery is opened and examined. + +"JOHN HILLIKER. + +"Sworn before me, this 14th of March, 1835. + +"PETER JENKINS, + +"Commissioner of Deeds." + +The following challenge was published in the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator +for six or seven weeks, in March and April, without a reply. + +"CHALLENGE--The Roman Prelate and Priests of Montreal--Messrs. Conroy, +Quarter, and Schneller, of New York--Messrs. Fenwick and Byrne of +Boston--Mr. Hughes of Philadelphia--the Arch-Prelate of Baltimore, and +his subordinate Priests--and Cardinal England of Charleston, with all +other Roman Priests, and every Nun from Baffin's bay to the Gulf of +Mexico, are hereby challenged to meet an investigation of the truth of +Maria Monk's 'Awful Disclosures,' before an impartial assembly, over +which shall preside _seven_ gentlemen; three to be selected by the +Roman Priests, three by the Executive Committee of the New York +Protestant Association, and the Seventh as Chairman, to be chosen by the +six. + +"An eligible place in New York shall be appointed and the regulations +for the decorum and order of the meetings, with all the other +arrangements, shall be made by the above gentlemen. + +"All communications upon this subject from any of the Roman Priests or +Nuns, either individually, or as delegates for their superiors, +addressed to the _Corresponding Secretary of the New York Protestant +Association_, No. 142 Nassau-street, New York, will be promptly +answered." + + * * * * * + +_From the N. Y. Protestant Vindicator of April 6, 1836._ + +"THE CHALLENGE.--We have been waiting with no small degree of impatience +to hear from some of the Roman priests. But neither they, nor their +sisters, the nuns, nor one of their nephews or _nieces_, have yet +ventured to come out. Our longings meet only with disappointment. Did +ever any person hear of similar conduct on the part of men accused of +the highest crimes, in their deepest dye? Here is a number of Roman +priests, as actors, or accessories, openly denounced before the world as +guilty, of the most outrageous sins against the sixth and seventh +commandments. They are charged before the world with adultery, +fornication, and murder! The allegations are distinctly made, the place +is mentioned, the parties are named, and the time is designated; for it +is lasting as the annual revolutions of the seasons. And what is most +extraordinary,--_the highest official authorities in Canada know that +all those statements are true, and they sanction and connive at the +iniquity!_--The priests and nuns have been offered, for several +months past, the most easy and certain mode to disprove the felonies +imputed to them, and they are still as the dungeons of the Inquisition, +silent as the death-like quietude of the convent cell; and as retired as +if they were in the subterraneous passages between the Nunnery and +Lartigue's habitation. Now, we contend, that scarcely a similar instance +of disregard for the opinions of mankind, can be found since the +Reformation, at least, in a Protestant country. Whatever disregard for +the judgment of others, the Romish priests may have felt, where the +Inquisition at their command, and the civil power was their Jackal and +their Hyena: they have been obliged to pay some little regard to the +opinion of protestants, and to the dread of exposure. We therefore +repeat the solemn indubitable truth--that the facts which are stated by +Maria Monk, respecting the Hotel Dieu Nunnery at Montreal, are true as +the existence of the priests and nuns,--that the character, principles, +and practices of the Jesuits and Nuns in Canada are most accurately +delineated--that popish priests, and sisters of charity in the United +States, are their faithful and exact counterparts--that many female +schools in the United States, kept by the papist teachers, are nothing +more than places of decoy through which young women, at the most +delicate age, are ensnared into the power of the Roman priests--and that +the toleration of the monastic system in the United States and Britain, +the only two countries in the world, in which that unnatural abomination +is now extending its withering influence, is high treason against God +and mankind. If American citizens and British Christians, after the +appalling developments which have been made, permit the continuance of +that prodigious wickedness which is inseparable from nunneries and the +celibacy of popish priests, they will ere long experience that divine +castigation which is justly due to transgressors, who wilfully trample +upon all the appointments of God, and who subvert the foundation of +national concord, and extinguish the comforts of domestic society. +Listen to the challenge again! _All the papers with which the +Protestant Vindicator exchanges, are requested to give the challenge one +or two insertions_." (Here it was repeated.) + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of a friend in the hospital_ + +_Statement_ made by a respectable woman, who had the charge of me +during a part of my stay in the Bellevue Hospital, in New York. She is +ready to substantiate it. It is now first published. + +"I was employed as an occasional assistant in the Bellevue Hospital, in +New York, in the spring of the year 1835. My department was in the +Middle House and the pantry. I was present one day in the room of Mrs. +Johnston, the Matron, when a man came in with a young woman, and gave a +note to Mrs. J., (which I understood was from Col. Fish.) the +Superintendent, Mr. Stevens, being out. The female was dressed in a +light blue calico frock, a salmon-coloured shawl, and a black bonnet, +under which was a plain cap, something like a night-cap, which I +afterward understood was a nun's cap. Being occupied at that time, I +paid no attention to the conversation which took place between her and +the Matron; but I soon heard that she was a nun who had escaped from a +convent in Canada, who had been found in a destitute condition, by some +persons shooting in the fields, and that she was in such a situation as +to demand comforts and careful treatment. + +"She was placed in room No. 33, where most of the inmates were aged +American women; but as she appeared depressed and melancholy, the next +day Mr. Stevens brought her into No. 26, and put her under my particular +charge, as he said the women in that room were younger. They were, +however, almost all Roman Catholics as there are many in the institution +generally. + +"I told her she might confide in me, as I felt for her friendless and +unhappy situation; and finding her ignorant of the Bible, and entertaining +some superstitious views, I gave her one, and advised her to read the +scriptures, and judge for herself. We had very little opportunity to +converse in private; and although she several times said she wished she +could tell me something, no opportunity offered, as I was with her only +now and then, when I could step into the room for a few minutes. I +discouraged her from talking, because those around appeared to be +constantly listening, and some told her not to mind 'that heretic.' + +"Seeing her unhappy state of mind, it was several times proposed to her +to see Mr. Tappan; and, after a week or two, as I should judge, he +visited her, advised her to read the Bible, and judge for herself of her +duty. + +"One Sabbath I invited her to attend service, and we went to hear Mr. +Tappan preach; but after her return, some of the Irish women told her to +go no more, but mind her own religion. This produced an impression upon +her, for she seemed like a child of tender feeling, gentle, and disposed +to yield. She bound herself round my heart a good deal, she was of so +affectionate a turn. The rudeness with which she was treated by several +of the women, when they dared, would sometimes overcome her. A large and +rather old woman, named Welsh, one of the inmates, entered the room one +day, very abruptly, saying, 'I want to see this virtuous nun;' and +abused her with most shameful language, so that I had to return to her, +and complain of her to the Superintendent, who was shocked at such +impudence in a foreign pauper, so that she was put into another room. +Maria was washing her hands at the time Mrs. Welsh came in, and was so +much agitated, that she did not raise her head, and almost fainted, so +that I had to lift her upon a bed. + +"Before this occurrence, the women would often speak to Maria while I +was away and, as I had every reason to believe, endeavoured to persuade +her to go to the priests. I told them that they ought rather to protect +her, as she had come to the same country where they had sought +protection. + +"Mr. Conroy, a Roman priest, used to be regularly at the institution two +or three times a week, from about 10 till 1 o'clock, both before and +after Maria Monk became an inmate of it. No. 10 was his confession-room. +He baptised children in the square-ward, and sometimes visited the sick +Catholics in other rooms. Sometimes he went up in the afternoon also. + +"I heard it said, that Mr. Conroy had asked to speak with Maria: and +that an offer was made to him that he might see her before others, but +not otherwise, to which Mr. Conroy did not consent. + +"Sometimes Maria was much disturbed in her sleep, starting suddenly, +with every appearance of terror. Some nights she did not sleep at all, +and often told me, what I had no doubt was the fact, that she was too +much agitated by the recollection of what she had seen in the Nunnery. +She would sometimes say in the morning, 'O, if I could tell you! You +think you have had trouble, but I have had more than ever you did.' + +"Her distressing state of mind, with the trials caused by those around +her, kept me constantly thinking of Maria, so that when employed at a +distance from her, I would often run to her room, to see how she was for +a moment, and back again. Fortunately, the women around held me somewhat +in fear, because they found my reports of the interference of some were +attended to; and this kept them more at a distance; yet they would take +advantage of my absence sometimes. One day, on coming to No. 23. I found +Maria all in a tremour, and she told me that Mrs. ----, one of the +Roman Catholic nurses, had informed her that Mr. Conroy was in the +institution, and wished to see her. 'And what shall I do?' she inquired +of me, in great distress. + +"I told her not to be afraid, and that she should be protected, as she +was among friends, and endeavoured to quiet her fears all I could; but +it was very difficult to do so. One of the women in the house, I know, +told Maria, in my presence, one day, that Mr. Conroy was waiting in the +passage to see her. The present Superintendent (another Mr. Stevens) +succeeded the former while Maria and I were in the Hospital. Abby Welsh +(not the Mrs. Welsh mentioned before) got very angry with me one day, +because, as usual on the days when Mr. Conroy came, I was watchful to +prevent his having an interview with Maria. Another person, for a time, +used to employ her in sewing in her room on those days, for she also +protected her, as well in this way, as by reproving those who troubled +her. Abby Welsh, finding me closely watching Maria on the day I was +speaking of, told me, in a passion, that I might watch her as closely as +I pleased--Mr. Conroy _would have her_. Not long after this, I saw +Abby Welsh talking earnestly with Mr. Conroy, in the yard, under one of +the windows of the Middle House, and heard her say, 'the nun,' and +afterward, 'she's hid.' + +"A Roman Catholic woman, who supposed that Maria had been seen in St. +Mary's Church, expressed a wish that she could have caught her there; +and said, she would never again have made her appearance. I inquired +whether there was any place where she could have been confined. She +replied, in a reserved, but significant manner, 'There is at least one +cell there for her.' + +"New York, March 23d, 1836." + +It would be a natural question, if my readers should ask, "What said the +Roman Catholics to such testimonials? They laid great stress on +affidavits sent for to Montreal; what do they think of affidavits +spontaneously given in New York?" + +So far as I know, they have republished but one, and that is Mr. +Miller's! + +The New York Catholic Diary of March 19th, said-- + +"We take the following _overwhelming_ testimony from the +_Brooklyn American Citizen_ of the 11th instant: + +"The following affidavits, &c., are copied from the last No. of the +'Protestant Vindicator,' and prove, it seems to us, taken with other +corroborating circumstances, the falsehood and irrelevancy of the +testimony against Miss Monk, and therefore establish the truth of her +narrative:" + +(Here it inserted Mr. Miller's affidavit, and then added:) + +"What is the weight of the affidavit? Of ponderous import? I inquired +where Maria was, and she told me she was in the Nunnery? Therefore she +is an eloped Nun. Marvellous logical affidavit! We may say, that when an +inquiry is made after the editor of this paper, and the answer is, that +he was in Protestant Church, therefore he is a Protestant minister." + +The Rev. Mr. Schneller, (for a Catholic priest is the editor of that +paper,) thus tries to slide over the important testimony of Mr. Miller, +and in doing it, admits that I was in the Hotel Dieu Nunnery in the +summer of 1832. Of course, _he admits then, that Dr. Robertson's +testimony to the contrary it false, and gives up the great point which +the Montreal affidavits were intended to settle,_ viz. that I had not +been in any Nunnery--at least, not since I was a child. + +But another thing is worthy of remark. The Diary says, "We take the +following overwhelming testimony from the Brooklyn American Citizen," +yet he really leaves out the greater part of the testimony which that +paper contained, viz. the certificate beginning on page 251. Let any one +turn to that, and ask whether the editor had not some reason to wish to +keep it from his readers? Did he not get rid of it very ingeniously, +when he inserted the following remarks instead of it? + +"The following statement has been furnished by the female witness above +mentioned; the name being reserved only from delicacy to a lady's +feelings." + +"Excellent! 'delicacy to a lady's feelings!!' we are absorbed in an +exclamation of wonder; the _delicate_ name, in a matter of such +vast importance, as that which affects the _truth_ of the +slanderous tale, cannot be mentioned! + +"Therefore, 'we, the subscribers,' 'Brownlee, Slocum, Brace, Fanshaw, +Belden, Wesson, and Hogan,' rest the weight of their authority upon the +'delicacy' of a nameless 'lady's feelings.'" + +Now here Mr. Shellner pretends that the witness was not accessible, and +leaves it in doubt, whether the subscribers, (men of known character and +unimpeachable veracity.) knew any thing of her. Yet it was expressly +stated by them that she was known, and that any reasonable inquiries +would be readily answered. (See p. 249.) + +I have no intention of attempting to enforce the evidence presented in +the testimonials just given. I shall leave every reader to form his own +conclusions independently and dispassionately. I could easily say things +likely to excite the feelings of every one who peruses these pages--but +I prefer to persist in the course I have thus far pursued, and abstain +from all exciting expressions. The things I declare are sober realities, +and nothing is necessary to have them so received, but that the evidence +be calmly laid before the public. + +I will make one or two suggestions here, for the purpose of directing +attention to points of importance, though one or two of them have been +already touched upon. + +1st. One of the six affidavits was given by Dr. Robertson, and the +remaining five were sworn to before him. + +2d. The witnesses speak of interviews with me, on two of the most +distressing days of my life. Now let the reader refer to those +affidavits and then say, whether any expressions which they may have +misunderstood, or any which may have been fabricated for me, (as I +strongly suspect must have been the fact with some,) ought to destroy my +character for credibility; especially when I appeal to evidence so +incontestible as an inspection of the nunnery, and my opponents shrink +from it. Let the reader observe also, that in the interviews spoken of +in the affidavits, no third person is commonly spoken of as present; +while those who are named are most of them inimical to me. + +3d. All the testimony in the affidavits is aimed to destroy my +character, and to prevent me from receiving any credit as a witness. Not +a bit of it meets the charges I make against the priests and nuns. If +they had proved that I never was in the nunnery, that, indeed would set +aside my testimony: but failing to do [illegible], the attempt goes +far to set their own aside. + +Having now fairly shown my readers what reception my first edition met +with, both from enemies and friends, I proceed to the "Sequel" of my +narrative. + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Awful Disclosures, by Maria Monk + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AWFUL DISCLOSURES *** + +This file should be named 8adis10.txt or 8adis10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 8adis11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 8adis10a.txt + +Produced by David Moynhan, Lee Dawei, Marvin A. Hodges, +Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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