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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/77870-0.txt b/77870-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6612981 --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,156 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77870 *** + + + TALKIES + + By Eddie Cantor + + Star of “Whoopee” + and author of “Caught Short” + + Illustrated by L. T. Holton + + +Silence has left the city. I remember in the old days when I’d be +wearied by the noises of the street, I’d go into a quiet telephone +booth, drop a nickel, rest my ear on the receiver and take a nap for a +half-hour. The trouble now is that after three minutes they say your +time is up. + +There were many restful places in the city then. I used to get into the +subway, stretch out on the train seat and sleep until the conductor +nudged me at the last stop, saying, “Change beds!” Little by little, +quiet left the city, but there was always the movies. There a man could +retreat from a debating wife and twelve vocal children for a few hours +of silence. But now even the screen shoots and shouts at you. We knew +all along that walls have ears, but what mouths they’ve developed! Who +ever suspected that a phonograph record attached to a roll of film +would destroy the last temple of silence and create a new market for +ear-muffs! + +But we’re living in an age of sound and talk. It all started with +the telephone when Bell invented a way of calling a man names from +a safe distance. After that came the phonograph, the dictaphone, +cuckoo-clocks, peanut-roasters, whistling radiators, until now we have +automatic talking salesmen, talking pictures and musical automobile +horns. Everybody everywhere has something to say, and if not, can at +least make a sound. Today talk is a commodity like salmon, and can be +caught, canned and sold. At one time wives were the only talking +pictures; now they sit mute with astonishment before the vitaphone. + +It took the men to turn hot air into cold cash. Somebody says, +“Boogey-boogey!” and right away a thousand microphones, a million +amplifiers and a billion electric waves spread the priceless utterance +throughout the world to countless eager ears. Then somebody writes a +theme-song about it and calls it, “Boogey-boogey, You Frighten Me with +Love!” + +Sound rules the waves--Britannia is out of luck. The time is at hand +when the wizards of gab will branch out into other fields besides the +speaking screen. We’ll soon have harmonizing hammocks on the front +porch, orthophonic washtubs in the laundry, yodeling door-knobs and +talking beds. + +[Illustration: Even the lion refused to return until two supervising +directors promised him the skunks would be out of the picture.] + +I can see the day when you will be ushered into a home and the host +will remark, “I’ll only be gone a minute to mix the cocktails, but in +the meantime you can sit in the parlor and have a chat with my +floor-lamp.” + +If you’ll try to boast about your new maid because she talks French, +your host will eye you pityingly. “That’s nothing,” he’ll sneer. “We +have a bureau in the boudoir that speaks six languages fluently, and +you should hear our new Persian rug make wise-cracks!” + +Of course, there is still room for improvement in the speaking film. +When you hear some of the voices on the screen, you feel like calling +out: “For heaven’s sake! Change the needle!” Many a soulful kiss sounds +as if the lovers are drinking hot soup, and I’ve been told that in his +first talkie trial, Rin-Tin-Tin barked like a canary. One famous silent +star, however, made a hit in her first talkie. She managed to register +deep emotion with her heavy breathing. But it wasn’t passion. She’d +been suffering from asthma for years. + +Many Hollywood customs have changed. Formerly, in going on location, an +actress would powder her nose; now she sprays it. A handsome leading +man made his first sound test and was fired. His tonsils showed in the +close-ups. A big he-man of the open spaces went back to the river-front +when they discovered his voice was soprano. Another old-time star sang +a solo accompanied by a violin, but when the picture was shown, a loud +drum was heard from the screen that drowned out the fiddle. Everybody +began to look for the mysterious drummer until the artist himself +finally found that the taps were due to the click of his lower plate +rising and falling with his notes. + +[Illustration: Think of what smell could do in the future if such a +picture as “Noah’s Ark” is remade.] + +In my own talkie experience I learned that if I patted a woman’s arm it +recorded as if I were hitting a gong, and my sweetheart’s footsteps +sounded like horse’s hoofs. My greatest problem was to talk toward the +microphone, which is concealed in various parts of the scene, outside +the range of the camera eye and usually in the opposite direction from +the person I was talking to. In one scene with my mother the microphone +was hidden under the sofa, so that I first had to bend down and address +the sofa, saying, “Mother, please forgive me!” Then I rose and embraced +her. After that, the mother bent down and said to the sofa: “My son, I +hope you have learned your lesson.” To avoid so much bending, we both +finally got under the sofa and only came up for air. + +In another picture the sound didn’t synchronize with the action. In +fact, nothing synchronized. The rain came a minute too soon and caught +me indoors. I was playing the son of an old-fashioned farmer who was +driving my wayward sister from the old homestead. The words got ahead +of the action, and at the crucial moment, when the father had to say, +“Go from my house!” the words came from the mouth of the cow. To this +the pig replied: “Oh, Father, have mercy on me!” The father raised a +threatening hand, and when I rushed between him and the girl, I cried +dramatically, “Moooo!” while my sister shrank away squealing, +“Wee-wee!” At this the rooster flapped his wings and said, “Don’t drive +my sister from me!” and I threw my arms around the old man’s neck and +began to crow. + +On the next lot they were shooting a costume talkie that was no better. +There I heard a member of Romanian royalty with a Tenth Avenue accent +speak to a French ambassador who had a strong Irish brogue. They +suspected the British King’s lovely daughter of a secret romance, but +when she was challenged to admit it, the English princess said: “Vell, +I’ll tell you, mine friends, I vouldn’t say if yes or if not.” + +Still, the speaking films are tending toward efficiency. Recently one +big star had three doubles for him in a single picture. One talked for +him; another sang for him; and a third played the piano. After a while +he’ll have so many doubles he’ll just have to telephone in his part of +the work, and they’ll send him his salary. + +After the talkies get perfected, I would like the inventors to start on +an idea I have long cherished--a smellophone, so you will be able to +smell your favorite star by his or her special perfume. What realistic +touches we could have! + +[Illustration: The microphone was hidden under the sofa, so that I had +to bend down and address the sofa, saying “Mother, please forgive me!”] + +Think of what smell could do for animal pictures. Certain animals, of +course, would have to be excluded. I understand that in the production +of a recent classic, suggested by the success of “Noah’s Ark,” a +trifling error cost the producers a fortune. The property man was told +to get two animals of each kind, so he brought in two skunks with the +rest. Giraffes stumbled and broke their necks, bears fainted, hippos +drowned and the other beasts scattered to different lots and studios +and couldn’t be corralled for a week. Even the lion refused to return +until two supervising directors promised him personally that the skunks +would be out of the picture. + +Still, with all the possibilities of the new talkie era, I don’t think +the speaking film will ever replace the stage. For no matter how +beautiful the girls are, how sweetly they may sing or tap their feet, +and how good they may look in tights on the screen, you can never wait +for them at the stage door. + + +[Transcriber’s note: This story appeared in the February, 1930 issue +of _Redbook_ magazine.] +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77870 *** diff --git a/77870-h/77870-h.htm b/77870-h/77870-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a03581b --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/77870-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,181 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> +<meta charset="UTF-8"> +<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1"> +<title>Talkies</title> +<style> + body { margin-left: 11%; margin-right: 11%; line-height: 1.25; } + h1 { margin-bottom: 0; font-weight: normal; text-align: center; + font-size: 1.4em; margin-top: 1em;} + p { text-indent: 1.15em; margin-top: 0.1em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; + text-align: justify; } + .tn { text-indent:0; margin-top: 2em; font-size: 0.9em; + border:none; border-top: 1px solid silver; } + img + p, .titlepage + p { text-indent: 0; } + div.titlepage { margin-top: 2em; margin-bottom: 1em; } + .tac { text-align: center; } + .mt07 { margin-top: 0.7em; } + .mb20 { margin-bottom: 2.0em; } + .mt05 { margin-top: 0.5em; } + .fs11 { font-size: 1.1em; } + .fs09 { font-size: 0.9em; } +</style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77870 ***</div> +<div class='titlepage'> +<h1>TALKIES</h1> +<div class='tac fs11 mt05'>By Eddie Cantor</div> +<div class='tac fs09'>Star of “Whoopee” and author of “Caught Short”</div> +<div class='tac mt07 fs09 mb20'>Illustrated by L. T. Holton</div> +</div> +<img src='images/illus-cantor.jpg' +style='float: left; width: 35%; max-width: 100%; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px;' +alt='Eddie Cantor sitting at desk'> +<p>Silence has left the city. I remember in the old days when I’d be +wearied by the noises of the street, I’d go into a quiet telephone +booth, drop a nickel, rest my ear on the receiver and take a nap for a +half-hour. The trouble now is that after three minutes they say your +time is up.</p> +<p>There were many restful places in the city then. I used to get into the +subway, stretch out on the train seat and sleep until the conductor +nudged me at the last stop, saying, “Change beds!” Little by little, +quiet left the city, but there was always the movies. There a man could +retreat from a debating wife and twelve vocal children for a few hours +of silence. But now even the screen shoots and shouts at you. We knew +all along that walls have ears, but what mouths they’ve developed! Who +ever suspected that a phonograph record attached to a roll of film +would destroy the last temple of silence and create a new market for +ear-muffs!</p> +<p>But we’re living in an age of sound and talk. It all started with +the telephone when Bell invented a way of calling a man names from +a safe distance. After that came the phonograph, the dictaphone, +cuckoo-clocks, peanut-roasters, whistling radiators, until now we have +automatic talking salesmen, talking pictures and musical automobile +horns. Everybody everywhere has something to say, and if not, can at +least make a sound. Today talk is a commodity like salmon, and can be +caught, canned and sold. At one time wives were the only talking +pictures; now they sit mute with astonishment before the vitaphone.</p> +<p>It took the men to turn hot air into cold cash. Somebody says, +“Boogey-boogey!” and right away a thousand microphones, a million +amplifiers and a billion electric waves spread the priceless utterance +throughout the world to countless eager ears. Then somebody writes a +theme-song about it and calls it, “Boogey-boogey, You Frighten Me with +Love!”</p> +<p>Sound rules the waves—Britannia is out of luck. The time is at hand +when the wizards of gab will branch out into other fields besides the +speaking screen. We’ll soon have harmonizing hammocks on the front +porch, orthophonic washtubs in the laundry, yodeling door-knobs and +talking beds.</p> +<div style="float: right; width: 50%; max-width: 100%; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"> + <img src="images/illus-lion.jpg" alt="two directors coaxing a lion" + style="display: block; max-width: 100%;"> + <p style="text-align: center; margin-top: 0.5em; + font-style: italic; font-size: 0.9em;"> +Even the lion refused to return until two supervising +directors promised him the skunks would be out of the picture. + </p> +</div> +<p>I can see the day when you will be ushered into a home and the host +will remark, “I’ll only be gone a minute to mix the cocktails, but in +the meantime you can sit in the parlor and have a chat with my +floor-lamp.”</p> +<p>If you’ll try to boast about your new maid because she talks French, +your host will eye you pityingly. “That’s nothing,” he’ll sneer. “We +have a bureau in the boudoir that speaks six languages fluently, and +you should hear our new Persian rug make wise-cracks!”</p> +<p>Of course, there is still room for improvement in the speaking film. +When you hear some of the voices on the screen, you feel like calling +out: “For heaven’s sake! Change the needle!” Many a soulful kiss sounds +as if the lovers are drinking hot soup, and I’ve been told that in his +first talkie trial, Rin-Tin-Tin barked like a canary. One famous silent +star, however, made a hit in her first talkie. She managed to register +deep emotion with her heavy breathing. But it wasn’t passion. She’d +been suffering from asthma for years.</p> +<p>Many Hollywood customs have changed. Formerly, in going on location, an +actress would powder her nose; now she sprays it. A handsome leading +man made his first sound test and was fired. His tonsils showed in the +close-ups. A big he-man of the open spaces went back to the river-front +when they discovered his voice was soprano. Another old-time star sang +a solo accompanied by a violin, but when the picture was shown, a loud +drum was heard from the screen that drowned out the fiddle. Everybody +began to look for the mysterious drummer until the artist himself +finally found that the taps were due to the click of his lower plate +rising and falling with his notes.</p> +<div style="float: left; width: 50%; max-width: 100%; margin-right: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"> + <img src="images/illus-ark.jpg" alt="Noah’s Ark" + style="display: block; max-width: 100%;"> + <p style="text-align: center; margin-top: 0.5em; + font-style: italic; font-size: 0.9em;"> +Think of what smell could do in the future if such a +picture as “Noah’s Ark” is remade. + </p> +</div> +<p>In my own talkie experience I learned that if I patted a woman’s arm it +recorded as if I were hitting a gong, and my sweetheart’s footsteps +sounded like horse’s hoofs. My greatest problem was to talk toward the +microphone, which is concealed in various parts of the scene, outside +the range of the camera eye and usually in the opposite direction from +the person I was talking to. In one scene with my mother the microphone +was hidden under the sofa, so that I first had to bend down and address +the sofa, saying, “Mother, please forgive me!” Then I rose and embraced +her. After that, the mother bent down and said to the sofa: “My son, I +hope you have learned your lesson.” To avoid so much bending, we both +finally got under the sofa and only came up for air.</p> +<p>In another picture the sound didn’t synchronize with the action. In +fact, nothing synchronized. The rain came a minute too soon and caught +me indoors. I was playing the son of an old-fashioned farmer who was +driving my wayward sister from the old homestead. The words got ahead +of the action, and at the crucial moment, when the father had to say, +“Go from my house!” the words came from the mouth of the cow. To this +the pig replied: “Oh, Father, have mercy on me!” The father raised a +threatening hand, and when I rushed between him and the girl, I cried +dramatically, “Moooo!” while my sister shrank away squealing, +“Wee-wee!” At this the rooster flapped his wings and said, “Don’t drive +my sister from me!” and I threw my arms around the old man’s neck and +began to crow.</p> +<p>On the next lot they were shooting a costume talkie that was no better. +There I heard a member of Romanian royalty with a Tenth Avenue accent +speak to a French ambassador who had a strong Irish brogue. They +suspected the British King’s lovely daughter of a secret romance, but +when she was challenged to admit it, the English princess said: “Vell, +I’ll tell you, mine friends, I vouldn’t say if yes or if not.”</p> +<p>Still, the speaking films are tending toward efficiency. Recently one +big star had three doubles for him in a single picture. One talked for +him; another sang for him; and a third played the piano. After a while +he’ll have so many doubles he’ll just have to telephone in his part of +the work, and they’ll send him his salary.</p> +<p>After the talkies get perfected, I would like the inventors to start on +an idea I have long cherished—a smellophone, so you will be able to +smell your favorite star by his or her special perfume. What realistic +touches we could have!</p> +<div style="float: right; width: 50%; max-width: 100%; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"> + <img src="images/illus-sofa.jpg" alt="actor speaking to a sofa" + style="display: block; max-width: 100%;"> + <p style="text-align: center; margin-top: 0.5em; + font-style: italic; font-size: 0.9em;"> +The microphone was hidden under the sofa, so that I had +to bend down and address the sofa, saying “Mother, please forgive me!” + </p> +</div> +<p>Think of what smell could do for animal pictures. Certain animals, of +course, would have to be excluded. I understand that in the production +of a recent classic, suggested by the success of “Noah’s Ark,” a +trifling error cost the producers a fortune. The property man was told +to get two animals of each kind, so he brought in two skunks with the +rest. Giraffes stumbled and broke their necks, bears fainted, hippos +drowned and the other beasts scattered to different lots and studios +and couldn’t be corralled for a week. Even the lion refused to return +until two supervising directors promised him personally that the skunks +would be out of the picture.</p> +<p>Still, with all the possibilities of the new talkie era, I don’t think +the speaking film will ever replace the stage. For no matter how +beautiful the girls are, how sweetly they may sing or tap their feet, +and how good they may look in tights on the screen, you can never wait +for them at the stage door.</p> +<div class="tn">Transcriber’s note: This story appeared in the +February, 1930 issue of <i>Redbook</i> magazine.</div> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77870 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/77870-h/images/cover.jpg b/77870-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f1fe681 --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/77870-h/images/illus-ark.jpg b/77870-h/images/illus-ark.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9decdf --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/images/illus-ark.jpg diff --git a/77870-h/images/illus-cantor.jpg b/77870-h/images/illus-cantor.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b929303 --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/images/illus-cantor.jpg diff --git a/77870-h/images/illus-lion.jpg b/77870-h/images/illus-lion.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1c85278 --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/images/illus-lion.jpg diff --git a/77870-h/images/illus-sofa.jpg b/77870-h/images/illus-sofa.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1194709 --- /dev/null +++ b/77870-h/images/illus-sofa.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c72794 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This book, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..881f0e4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for eBook #77870 +(https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/77870) |
