summaryrefslogtreecommitdiff
diff options
context:
space:
mode:
authorRoger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>2025-10-15 05:29:56 -0700
committerRoger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>2025-10-15 05:29:56 -0700
commit03d4d73ed71e9c2567b43bc408f9f31ac55f1430 (patch)
tree95bfd0263722042538f720eefee37d1e7df89ac8
initial commit of ebook 7587HEADmain
-rw-r--r--.gitattributes3
-rw-r--r--7587.txt1403
-rw-r--r--7587.zipbin0 -> 33235 bytes
-rw-r--r--LICENSE.txt11
-rw-r--r--README.md2
5 files changed, 1419 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6833f05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitattributes
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+* text=auto
+*.txt text
+*.md text
diff --git a/7587.txt b/7587.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f645918
--- /dev/null
+++ b/7587.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1403 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook The Caxtons, by Bulwer-Lytton, Part 2
+#16 in our series by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
+
+Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
+copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
+this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.
+
+This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
+Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the
+header without written permission.
+
+Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
+eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is
+important information about your specific rights and restrictions in
+how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a
+donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.
+
+
+**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
+
+**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**
+
+*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers*****
+
+
+Title: The Caxtons, Part 2
+
+Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton
+
+Release Date: February 2005 [EBook #7587]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on January 1, 2003]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+
+
+
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CAXTONS, BY LYTTON, PART 2 ***
+
+
+
+This eBook was produced by Pat Castevens
+and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+When I had reached the age of twelve, I had got to the head of the
+preparatory school to which I had been sent. And having thus exhausted
+all the oxygen of learning in that little receiver, my parents looked
+out for a wider range for my inspirations. During the last two years in
+which I had been at school, my love for study had returned; but it was a
+vigorous, wakeful, undreamy love, stimulated by competition, and
+animated by the practical desire to excel.
+
+My father no longer sought to curb my intellectual aspirings. He had
+too great a reverence for scholarship not to wish me to become a scholar
+if possible; though he more than once said to me somewhat sadly, "Master
+books, but do not let them master you. Read to live, not live to read.
+One slave of the lamp is enough for a household; my servitude must not
+be a hereditary bondage."
+
+My father looked round for a suitable academy; and the fame of Dr.
+Herman's "Philhellenic Institute" came to his ears.
+
+Now, this Dr. Herman was the son of a German music-master who had
+settled in England. He had completed his own education at the
+University of Bonn; but finding learning too common a drug in that
+market to bring the high price at which he valued his own, and having
+some theories as to political freedom which attached him to England, he
+resolved upon setting up a school, which he designed as an "Era in the
+History of the Human Mind." Dr. Herman was one of the earliest of those
+new-fashioned authorities in education who have, more lately, spread
+pretty numerously amongst us, and would have given, perhaps, a dangerous
+shake to the foundations of our great classical seminaries, if those
+last had not very wisely, though very cautiously, borrowed some of the
+more sensible principles which lay mixed and adulterated amongst the
+crotchets and chimeras of their innovating rivals and assailants.
+
+Dr. Herman had written a great many learned works against every pre-
+existing method of instruction; that which had made the greatest noise
+was upon the infamous fiction of Spelling-Books: "A more lying,
+roundabout, puzzle-headed delusion than that by which we Confuse the
+clear instincts of truth in our accursed systems of spelling, was never
+concocted by the father of falsehood." Such was the exordium of this
+famous treatise. "For instance, take the monosyllable Cat. What a
+brazen forehead you must have when you say to an infant, c, a, t,--spell
+Cat: that is, three sounds, forming a totally opposite compound,--
+opposite in every detail, opposite in the whole,--compose a poor little
+monosyllable which, if you would but say the simple truth, the child
+will learn to spell merely by looking at it! How can three sounds,
+which run thus to the ear, see-eh-tee, compose the sound cat? Don't
+they rather compose the sound see-eh-te, or ceaty? How can a system of
+education flourish that begins by so monstrous a falsehood, which the
+sense of hearing suffices to contradict? No wonder that the horn-book
+is the despair of mothers! "From this instance the reader will perceive
+that Dr. Herman, in his theory of education, began at the beginning,--he
+took the bull fairly by the horns. As for the rest, upon a broad
+principle of eclecticism, he had combined together every new patent
+invention for youthful idea-shooting. He had taken his trigger from
+Hofwyl; he had bought his wadding from Hamilton; he had got his copper-
+caps from Bell and Lancaster. The youthful idea,--he had rammed it
+tight! he had rammed it loose! he had rammed it with pictorial
+illustrations! he had rammed it with the monitorial system! he had
+rammed it in every conceivable way, and with every imaginable ramrod!
+but I have mournful doubts whether he shot the youthful idea an inch
+farther than it did under the old mechanism of flint and steel!
+Nevertheless, as Dr. Herman really did teach a great many things too
+much neglected at schools; as, besides Latin and Greek, he taught a vast
+variety in that vague infinite nowadays called "useful knowledge;" as he
+engaged lecturers on chemistry, engineering, and natural history; as
+arithmetic and the elements of physical science were enforced with zeal
+and care; as all sorts of gymnastics were intermingled with the sports
+of the playground,--so the youthful idea, if it did not go farther,
+spread its shots in a wider direction, and a boy could not stay there
+five years without learning something: which is more than can be said of
+all schools! He learned at least to use his eyes and his ears and his
+limbs; order, cleanliness, exercise, grew into habits; and the school
+pleased the ladies and satisfied the gentlemen,--in a word, it thrived;
+and Dr. Herman, at the time I speak of, numbered more than one hundred
+pupils. Now, when the worthy man first commenced the task of tuition,
+he had proclaimed the humanest abhorrence to the barbarous system of
+corporal punishment. But alas! as his school increased in numbers, he
+had proportionately recanted these honorable and anti-birchen ideas. He
+had--reluctantly, perhaps, honestly, no doubt; but with full
+determination--come to the conclusion that there are secret springs
+which can only be detected by the twigs of the divining-rod; and having
+discovered with what comparative ease the whole mechanism of his little
+government could be carried on by the admission of the birch-regulator,
+so, as he grew richer and lazier and fatter, the Philhellenic Institute
+spun along as glibly as a top kept in vivacious movement by the
+perpetual application of the lash.
+
+I believe that the school did not suffer in reputation from this sad
+apostasy on the part of the head-master; on the contrary, it seemed more
+natural and English,--less outlandish and heretical. And it was at the
+zenith of its renown when, one bright morning, with all my clothes
+nicely mended, and a large plum-cake in my box, I was deposited at its
+hospitable gates.
+
+Amongst Dr. Herman's various whimsicalities there was one to which he
+had adhered with more fidelity than to the anti-corporal punishment
+articles of his creed; and, in fact, it was upon this that he had caused
+those imposing words, "Philhellenic Institute," to blaze in gilt
+capitals in front of his academy. He belonged to that illustrious class
+of scholars who are now waging war on our popular mythologies, and
+upsetting all the associations which the Etonians and Harrovians connect
+with the household names of ancient history. In a word, he sought to
+restore to scholastic purity the mutilated orthography of Greek
+appellatives. He was extremely indignant that little boys should be
+brought up to confound Zeus with Jupiter, Ares with Mars, Artemis with
+Diana,--the Greek deities with the Roman; and so rigidly did he
+inculcate the doctrine that these two sets of personages were to be kept
+constantly contradistinguished from each other, that his cross-
+examinations kept us in eternal confusion.
+
+"Vat," he would exclaim to some new boy fresh from some grammar-school
+on the Etonian system--"Vat do you mean by dranslating Zeus Jupiter? Is
+dat amatory, irascible, cloud-compelling god of Olympus, vid his eagle
+and his aegis, in the smallest degree resembling de grave, formal, moral
+Jupiter Optimus Maximus of the Roman Capitol?--a god, Master Simpkins,
+who would have been perfectly shocked at the idea of running after
+innocent Fraulein dressed up as a swan or a bull! I put dat question to
+you vonce for all, Master Simpkins." Master Simpkins took care to agree
+with the Doctor. "And how could you," resumed Dr. Herman majestically,
+turning to some other criminal alumnus,--"how could you presume to
+dranslate de Ares of Homer, sir, by the audacious vulgarism Mars?---
+Ares, Master Jones, who roared as loud as ten thousand men when he was
+hurt; or as you vill roar if I catch you calling him Mars again?---Ares,
+who covered seven plectra of ground? Confound Ares, the manslayer, with
+the Mars or Mavors whom de Romans stole from de Sabines!--Mars, de
+solemn and calm protector of Rome! Master Jones, Master Jones, you
+ought to be ashamed of yourself!" And then waxing enthusiastic, and
+warming more and more into German gutturals and pronunciation, the good
+Doctor would lift up his hands, with two great rings on his thumbs, and
+exclaim: "Und Du! and dou, Aphrodite,--dou, whose bert de seasons vel-
+coined! dou, who didst put Atonis into a coffer, and den tid durn him
+into an anemone! dou to be called Venus by dat snivel-nosed little
+Master Budderfield!--Venus, who presided over Baumgartens and funerals
+and nasty tinking sewers!---Venus Cloacina, O mein Gott! Come here,
+Master Budderfield: I must flog you for dat; I must indeed, liddle boy!"
+As our Philhellenic preceptor carried his archaeological purism into all
+Greek proper names, it was not likely that my unhappy baptismal would
+escape. The first time I signed my exercise I wrote "Pisistratus
+Caxton" in my best round-hand. "And dey call your baba a scholar!" said
+the Doctor, contemptuously. "Your name, sir, is Greek; and, as Greek,
+you vill be dood enough to write it, vith vat you call an e and an o,--
+P,e,i,s,i,s,t,r,a,t,o,s. Vat can you expect for to come to, Master
+Caxton, if you don't pay de care dat is proper to your own dood name,--
+de e, and de o? Ach? let me see no more of your vile corruptions! Mein
+Gott! Pi! ven de name is Pei!"
+
+The next time I wrote home to my father, modestly implying that I was
+short of cash, that a trap-bat would be acceptable, and that the
+favorite goddess amongst the boys (whether Greek or Roman was very
+immaterial) was Diva Moneta, I felt a glow of classical pride in signing
+myself "your affectionate Peisistratos." The next post brought a sad
+damper to my scholastic exultation. The letter ran thus:--
+
+ My Dear Son,--I prefer my old acquaintances Thucydides and
+ Pisistratus to Thoukudides and Peisistratos. Horace is familiar to
+ me, but Horatius is only known to me as Cocles. Pisistratus can
+ play at trap-ball; but I find no authority in pure Greek to allow
+ me to suppose that that game was known to Peisistratos. I should
+ be too happy to send you a drachma or so, but I have no coins in my
+ possession current at Athens at the time when Pisistratus was spelt
+ Peisistratos.--Your affectionate father,
+ A. CAXTON.
+
+Verily, here indeed was the first practical embarrassment produced by
+that melancholy anachronism which my father had so prophetically
+deplored. However, nothing like experience to prove the value of
+compromise in this world. Peisistratos continued to write exercises,
+and a second letter from Pisistratus was followed by the trap-bat.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+I was somewhere about sixteen when, on going home for the holidays, I
+found my mother's brother settled among the household Lares. Uncle
+Jack, as he was familiarly called, was a light-hearted, plausible,
+enthusiastic, talkative fellow, who had spent three small fortunes in
+trying to make a large one.
+
+Uncle Jack was a great speculator; but in all his speculations he never
+affected to think of himself,--it was always the good of his fellow-
+creatures that he had at heart, and in this ungrateful world fellow-
+creatures are not to be relied upon! On coining of age, he inherited
+L6,000, from his maternal grandfather. It seemed to him then that his
+fellow-creatures were sadly imposed upon by their tailors. Those ninth
+parts of humanity notoriously eked out their fractional existence by
+asking nine times too much for the clothing which civilization, and
+perhaps a change of climate, render more necessary to us than to our
+predecessors, the Picts. Out of pure philanthropy, Uncle Jack started
+a "Grand National Benevolent Clothing Company," which undertook to
+supply the public with inexpressibles of the best Saxon cloth at 7s. 6d.
+a pair; coats, superfine, L1 18s.; and waistcoats at so much per dozen,
+--they were all to be worked off by steam. Thus the rascally tailors
+were to be put down, humanity clad, and the philanthropists rewarded
+(but that was a secondary consideration) with a clear return of thirty
+per cent. In spite of the evident charitableness of this Christian
+design, and the irrefragable calculations upon which it was based, this
+company died a victim to the ignorance and unthankfulness of our fellow-
+creatures; and all that remained of Jack's L6,000, was a fifty-fourth
+share in a small steam-engine, a large assortment of ready-made
+pantaloons, and the liabilities of the directors.
+
+Uncle Jack disappeared, and went on his travels. The same spirit of
+philanthropy which characterized the speculations of his purse attended
+the risks of his person. Uncle Jack had a natural leaning towards all
+distressed communities: if any tribe, race, or nation was down in the
+world, Uncle Jack threw himself plump into the scale to redress the
+balance. Poles, Greeks (the last were then fighting the Turks),
+Mexicans, Spaniards,--Uncle Jack thrust his nose into all their
+squabbles! Heaven forbid I should mock thee, poor Uncle Jack! for those
+generous predilections towards the unfortunate; only, whenever a nation
+is in a misfortune, there is always a job going on! The Polish cause,
+the Greek cause, the Alexican cause, and the Spanish cause are
+necessarily mixed up with loans and subscriptions. These Continental
+patriots, when they take up the sword with one hand, generally contrive
+to thrust their other hand deep into their neighbor's breeches' pockets.
+Uncle Jack went to Greece, thence he went to Spain, thence to Mexico.
+No doubt he was of great service to those afflicted populations, for he
+came back with unanswerable proof of their gratitude in the shape of
+L3,000. Shortly after this appeared a prospectus of the "New, Grand,
+National, Benevolent Insurance Company, for the Industrial Classes."
+This invaluable document, after setting forth the immense benefits to
+society arising from habits of providence and the introduction of
+insurance companies,--proving the infamous rate of premiums exacted by
+the existent offices, and their inapplicability to the wants of the
+honest artisan, and declaring that nothing but the purest intentions of
+benefiting their fellow-creatures, and raising the moral tone of
+society, had led the directors to institute a new society, founded on
+the noblest principles and the most moderate calculations,--proceeded to
+demonstrate that twenty-four and a half per cent was the smallest
+possible return the shareholders could anticipate. The company began
+under the fairest auspices; an archbishop was caught as president, on
+the condition always that he should give nothing but his name to the
+society. Uncle Jack--more euphoniously designated as "the celebrated
+philanthropist, John Jones Tibbets, Esquire"--was honorary secretary,
+and the capital stated at two millions. But such was the obtuseness of
+the industrial classes, so little did they perceive the benefits of
+subscribing one-and-ninepence a-week from the age of twenty-one to
+fifty, in order to secure at the latter age the annuity of L18, that the
+company dissolved into thin air, and with it dissolved also Uncle Jack's
+L3,000. Nothing more was then seen or heard of him for three years. So
+obscure was his existence that on the death of an aunt, who left him a
+small farm in Cornwall, it was necessary to advertise that "If John
+Jones Tibbets, Esq., would apply to Messrs. Blunt & Tin, Lothbury,
+between the hours of ten and four, he would hear of something to his
+advantage." But even as a conjurer declares that he will call the ace
+of spades, and the ace of spades, that you thought you had safely under
+your foot, turns up on the table,--so with this advertisement suddenly
+turned up Uncle Jack. With inconceivable satisfaction did the new
+landowner settle himself in his comfortable homestead. The farm, which
+was about two hundred acres, was in the best possible condition, and
+saving one or two chemical preparations, which cost Uncle Jack, upon the
+most scientific principles, thirty acres of buckwheat, the ears of which
+came up, poor things, all spotted and speckled as if they had been
+inoculated with the small-pox, Uncle Jack for the first two years was a
+thriving man. Unluckily, however, one day Uncle Jack discovered a coal-
+mine in a beautiful field of Swedish turnips; in another week the house
+was full of engineers and naturalists, and in another month appeared; in
+my uncle's best style, much improved by practice, a prospectus of the
+"Grand National Anti-Monopoly Coal Company, instituted on behalf of the
+poor householders of London, and against the Monster Monopoly of the
+London Coal Wharves.
+
+"A vein of the finest coal has been discovered on the estates of the
+celebrated philanthropist, John Jones Tibbets, Esq. This new mine, the
+Molly Wheel, having been satisfactorily tested by that eminent engineer,
+Giles Compass, Esq., promises an inexhaustible field to the energies of
+the benevolent and the wealth of the capitalist. It is calculated that
+the best coals may be delivered, screened, at the mouth of the Thames
+for 18s. per load, yielding a profit of not less than forty-eight per
+cent to the shareholders. Shares L50, to be paid in five instalments.
+Capital to be subscribed, one million. For shares, early application
+must be made to Messrs. Blunt & Tin, solicitors, Lothbury."
+
+Here, then, was something tangible for fellow-creatures to go on: there
+was land, there was a mine, there was coal, and there actually came
+shareholders and capital. Uncle Jack was so persuaded that his fortune
+was now to be made, and had, moreover, so great a desire to share the
+glory of ruining the monster monopoly of the London wharves, that he
+refused a very large offer to dispose of the property altogether,
+remained chief shareholder, and removed to London, where he set up his
+carriage and gave dinners to his fellow-directors. For no less than
+three years did this company flourish, having submitted the entire
+direction and working of the mines to that eminent engineer, Giles
+Compass. Twenty per cent was paid regularly by that gentleman to the
+shareholders, and the shares were at more than cent per cent, when one
+bright morning Giles Compass, Esq., unexpectedly removed himself to that
+wider field for genius like his, the United States; and it was
+discovered that the mine had for more than a year run itself into a
+great pit of water, and that Mr. Compass had been paying the
+shareholders out of their own capital. My uncle had the satisfaction
+this time of being ruined in very good company; three doctors of
+divinity, two county members, a Scotch lord, and an East India director
+were all in the same boat,--that boat which went down with the coal-mine
+into the great water-pit!
+
+It was just after this event that Uncle Jack, sanguine and light-hearted
+as ever, suddenly recollected his sister, Mrs. Caxton, and not knowing
+where else to dine, thought he would repose his limbs under my father's
+trabes citrea, which the ingenious W. S. Landor opines should be
+translated "mahogany." You never saw a more charming man than Uncle
+Jack.
+
+All plump people are more popular than thin people. There is something
+jovial and pleasant in the sight of a round face! What conspiracy could
+succeed when its head was a lean and hungry-looking fellow, like
+Cassius? If the Roman patriots had had Uncle Jack amongst them, perhaps
+they would never have furnished a tragedy to Shakspeare. Uncle Jack was
+as plump as a partridge,--not unwieldy, not corpulent, not obese, not
+vastus, which Cicero objects to in an orator, but every crevice
+comfortably filled up. Like the ocean, "time wrote no wrinkles on his
+glassy [or brassy] brow." His natural lines were all upward curves, his
+smile most ingratiating, his eye so frank, even his trick of rubbing his
+clean, well-feel, English-looking hands, had something about it coaxing
+and debonnaire, something that actually decoyed you into trusting your
+money into hands so prepossessing. Indeed, to him might be fully
+applied the expression--Sedem animce in extremis digitis habet,--"He had
+his soul's seat in his finger-ends." The critics observe that few men
+have ever united in equal perfection the imaginative with the scientific
+faculties. "Happy he," exclaims Schiller, "who combines the
+enthusiast's warmth with the worldly man's light:" light and warmth,
+Uncle Jack had them both. He was a perfect symphony of bewitching
+enthusiasm and convincing calculation. Dicaeopolis in the
+"Aeharnenses," in presenting a gentleman called Nicharchus to the
+audience, observes: "He is small, I confess, but, there is nothing lost
+in him: all is knave that is not fool." Parodying the equivocal
+compliment, I may say that though Uncle Jack was no giant, there was
+nothing lost in him. Whatever was not philanthropy was arithmetic, and
+whatever was not arithmetic was philanthropy. He would have been
+equally dear to Howard and to Cocker. Uncle Jack was comely too,--
+clear-skinned and florid, had a little mouth, with good teeth, wore no
+whiskers, shaved his beard as close as if it were one of his grand
+national companies; his hair, once somewhat sandy, was now rather
+grayish, which increased the respectability of his appearance; and he
+wore it flat at the sides and raised in a peak at the top; his organs of
+constructiveness and ideality were pronounced by Mr. Squills to be
+prodigious, and those freely developed bumps gave great breadth to his
+forehead. Well-shaped, too, was Uncle Jack, about five feet eight,--the
+proper height for an active man of business. He wore a black coat; but
+to make the nap look the fresher, he had given it the relief of gilt
+buttons, on--which were wrought a small crown and anchor; at a distance
+this button looked like the king's button, and gave him the air of one
+who has a place about Court. He always wore a white neckcloth without
+starch, a frill, and a diamond pin, which last furnished him with
+observations upon certain mines of Mexico, which he had a great, but
+hitherto unsatisfied, desire of seeing worked by a grand National United
+Britons Company. His waistcoat of a morning was pale buff--of an
+evening, embroidered velvet; wherewith were connected sundry schemes of
+an "association for the improvement of native manufactures." His
+trousers, matutinally, were of the color vulgarly called "blotting-
+paper;" and he never wore boots,--which, he said, unfitted a man for
+exercise,--but short drab gaiters and square-toed shoes. His watch-
+chain was garnished with a vast number of seals; each seal, indeed,
+represented the device of some defunct company, and they might be said
+to resemble the scalps of the slain worn by the aboriginal Iroquois,--
+concerning whom, indeed, he had once entertained philanthropic designs,
+compounded of conversion to Christianity on the principles of the
+English Episcopal Church, and of an advantageous exchange of beaver-
+skins for Bibles, brandy, and gunpowder.
+
+That Uncle Jack should win my heart was no wonder; my mother's he had
+always won, from her earliest recollection of his having persuaded her
+to let her great doll (a present from her godmother) be put up to a
+raffle for the benefit of the chimney-sweepers. "So like him,--so
+good!" she would often say pensively. "They paid sixpence apiece for
+the raffle,--twenty tickets,--and the doll cost L2. Nobody was taken
+in, and the doll, poor thing (it had such blue eyes!) went for a quarter
+of its value. But Jack said nobody could guess what good the ten
+shillings did to the chimney-sweepers." Naturally enough, I say, my
+mother liked Uncle Jack; but my father liked him quite as well,--and
+that was a strong proof of my uncle's powers of captivation. However,
+it is noticeable that when some retired scholar is once interested in an
+active man of the world, he is more inclined to admire him than others
+are. Sympathy with such a companion gratifies at once his curiosity and
+his indolence; he can travel with him, scheme with him, fight with him,
+go with him through all the adventures of which his own books speak so
+eloquently, and all the time never stir from his easy-chair. My father
+said "that it was like listening to Ulysses to hear Uncle Jack!" Uncle
+Jack, too, had been in Greece and Asia Minor, gone over the site of the
+siege of Troy, eaten figs at Marathon, shot hares in the Peloponnesus,
+and drunk three pints of brown stout at the top of the Great Pyramid.
+
+Therefore, Uncle Jack was like a book of reference to my father. Verily
+at times he looked on him as a book, and took him down after dinner as
+he would a volume of Dodwell or Pausanias. In fact, I believe that
+scholars who never move from their cells are not the less an eminently
+curious, bustling, active race, rightly understood. Even as old Burton
+saith of himself--"Though I live a collegiate student, and lead a
+monastic life, sequestered from those tumults and troubles of the world,
+I hear and see what is done abroad, how others run, ride, turmoil, and
+macerate themselves in town and country,"--which citation sufficeth to
+show that scholars are naturally the most active men of the world; only
+that while their heads plot with Augustus, fight with Julius, sail with
+Columbus, and change the face of the globe with Alexander, Attila, or
+Mahomet, there is a certain mysterious attraction, which our improved
+knowledge of mesmerism will doubtless soon explain to the satisfaction
+of science, between that extremer and antipodal part of the human frame,
+called in the vulgate "the seat of honor," and the stuffed leather of an
+armed chair. Learning somehow or other sinks down to that part into
+which it was first driven, and produces therein a leaden heaviness and
+weight, which counteract those lively emotions of the brain that might
+otherwise render students too mercurial and agile for the safety of
+established order. I leave this conjecture to the consideration of
+experimentalists in the physics.
+
+I was still more delighted than my father with Uncle Jack. He was full
+of amusing tricks, could conjure wonderfully, make a bunch of keys dance
+a hornpipe, and if ever you gave him half-a-crown, he was sure to turn
+it into a halfpenny.
+
+He was only unsuccessful in turning my halfpennies into half-crowns.
+
+We took long walks together, and in the midst of his most diverting
+conversation my uncle was always an observer. He would stop to examine
+the nature of the soil, fill my pockets (not his own) with great lumps
+of clay, stones, and rubbish, to analyze when he got home, by the help
+of some chemical apparatus he had borrowed from Mr. Squills. He would
+stand an hour at a cottage door, admiring the little girls who were
+straw-platting, and then walk into the nearest farmhouses, to suggest
+the feasibility of "a national straw-plat association." All this
+fertility of intellect was, alas! wasted in that ingrata terra into
+which Uncle Jack had fallen. No squire could be persuaded into the
+belief that his mother-stone was pregnant with minerals; no farmer
+talked into weaving straw-plat into a proprietary association. So, even
+as an ogre, having devastated the surrounding country, begins to cast a
+hungry eye on his own little ones, Uncle Jack's mouth, long defrauded of
+juicier and more legitimate morsels, began to water for a bite of my
+innocent father.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+At this time we were living in what may be called a very respectable
+style for people who made no pretence to ostentation. On the skirts of
+a large village stood a square red-brick house, about the date of Queen
+Anne. Upon the top of the house was a balustrade,--why, Heaven knows,
+for nobody, except our great tom-cat, Ralph, ever walked upon the leads;
+but so it was, and so it often is in houses from the time of Elizabeth,
+yea, even to that of Victoria. This balustrade was divided by low
+piers, on each of which was placed a round ball. The centre of the
+house was distinguishable by an architrave in the shape of a triangle,
+under which was a niche,--probably meant for a figure; but the figure
+was not forthcoming. Below this was the window (encased with carved
+pilasters) of my dear mother's little sitting-room; and lower still,
+raised on a flight of six steps, was a very handsome-looking door, with
+a projecting porch. All the windows, with smallish panes and largish
+frames, were relieved with stone copings; so that the house had an air
+of solidity and well-to-do-ness about it,--nothing tricky on the one
+hand, nothing decayed on the other. The house stood a little back from
+the garden gates, which were large, and set between two piers surmounted
+with vases. Many might object that in wet weather you had to walk some
+way to your carriage; but we obviated that objection by not keeping a
+carriage. To the right of the house the enclosure contained a little
+lawn, a laurel hermitage, a square pond, a modest greenhouse, and half-
+a-dozen plots of mignonette, heliotrope, roses, pinks, sweet-William,
+etc. To the left spread the kitchen-garden, lying screened by espaliers
+yielding the finest apples in the neighborhood, and divided by three
+winding gravel-walks, of which the extremest was backed by a wall,
+whereon, as it lay full south, peaches, pears, and nectarines sunned
+themselves early into well-remembered flavor. This walk was
+appropriated to my father. Book in hand, he would, on fine days, pace
+to and fro, often stopping, dear man, to jot down a pencil-note,
+gesticulate, or soliloquize. And there, when not in his study, my
+mother would be sure to find him. In these deambulations, as he called
+them, he had generally a companion so extraordinary that I expect to be
+met with a hillalu of incredulous contempt when I specify it.
+Nevertheless I vow and protest that it is strictly true, and no
+invention of an exaggerating romancer. It happened one day that my
+mother had coaxed Mr. Caxton to walk with her to market. By the way
+they passed a sward of green, on which sundry little boys were engaged
+upon the lapidation of a lame duck. It seemed that the duck was to have
+been taken to market, when it was discovered not only to be lame, but
+dyspeptic,--perhaps some weed had disagreed with its ganglionic
+apparatus, poor thing. However that be, the good-wife had declared that
+the duck was good for nothing; and upon the petition of her children, it
+had been consigned to them for a little innocent amusement, and to keep
+them out of harm's way. My mother declared that she never before saw
+her lord and master roused to such animation. He dispersed the urchins,
+released the duck, carried it home, kept it in a basket by the fire, fed
+it and physicked it till it recovered; and then it was consigned to the
+square pond. But lo! the duck knew its benefactor; and whenever my
+father appeared outside his door, it would catch sight of him, flap from
+the pond, gain the lawn, and hobble after him (for it never quite
+recovered the use of its left leg) till it reached the walk by the
+peaches; and there sometimes it would sit, gravely watching its master's
+deambulations, sometimes stroll by his side, and, at all events, never
+leave him till, at his return home, he fed it with his own hands; and,
+quacking her peaceful adieus, the nymph then retired to her natural
+element.
+
+With the exception of my mother's favorite morning-room, the principal
+sitting-rooms--that is, the study, the diningroom, and what was
+emphatically called "the best drawing-room," which was only occupied on
+great occasions--looked south. Tall beeches, firs, poplars, and a few
+oaks backed the house, and indeed surrounded it on all sides but the
+south; so that it was well sheltered from the winter cold and the summer
+heat. Our principal domestic, in dignity and station, was Mrs.
+Primmins, who was waiting gentlewoman, housekeeper, and tyrannical
+dictatrix of the whole establishment. Two other maids, a gardener, and
+a footman, composed the rest of the serving household. Save a few
+pasture-fields, which he let, my father was not troubled with land. His
+income was derived from the interest of about L15,000, partly in the
+Three per Cents, partly on mortgage; and what with my mother and Mrs.
+Primmins, this income always yielded enough to satisfy my father's
+single hobby for books, pay for my education, and entertain our
+neighbors, rarely indeed at dinner, but very often at tea. My dear
+mother boasted that our society was very select. It consisted chiefly
+of the clergyman and his family; two old maids who gave themselves great
+airs; a gentleman who had been in the East India service, and who lived
+in a large white house at the top of the hill; some half-a-dozen squires
+and their wives and children; Mr. Squills, still a bachelor; and once a
+year cards were exchanged--and dinners too--with certain aristocrats who
+inspired my mother with a great deal of unnecessary awe, since she
+declared they were the most good-natured, easy people in the world, and
+always stuck their cards in the most conspicuous part of the looking-
+glass frame over the chimney-piece of the best drawing-room. Thus you
+perceive that our natural position was one highly creditable to us,
+proving the soundness of our finances and the gentility of our
+pedigree,--of which last more hereafter. At present I content myself
+with saying on that head that even the proudest of the neighboring
+squirearchs always spoke of us as a very ancient family. But all my
+father ever said, to evince pride of ancestry, was in honor of William
+Caxton, citizen and printer in the reign of Edward IV.,--Clarum et
+venerabile nomen! an ancestor a man of letters might be justly vain of.
+
+"Heus," said my father, stopping short, and lifting his eyes from the
+Colloquies of Erasmus, "salve multum, jucundissime."
+
+Uncle Jack was not much of a scholar, but he knew enough Latin to
+answer, "Salve tantundem, mi frater."
+
+My father smiled approvingly. "I see you comprehend true urbanity, or
+politeness, as we phrase it. There is an elegance in addressing the
+husband of your sister as brother. Erasmus commends it in his opening
+chapter, under the head of Salutandi formuloe. And indeed," added my
+father, thoughtfully, "there is no great difference between politeness
+and affection. My author here observes that it is polite to express
+salutation in certain minor distresses of nature. One should salute a
+gentleman in yawning, salute him in hiccuping, salute him in sneezing,
+salute him in coughing,--and that evidently because of your interest in
+his health; for he may dislocate his jaw in yawning, and the hiccup is
+often a symptom of grave disorder, and sneezing is perilous to the small
+blood-vessels of the head, and coughing is either a tracheal, bronchial,
+pulmonary, or ganglionic affection."
+
+"Very true. The Turks always salute in sneezing, and they are a
+remarkably polite people," said Uncle Jack. "But, my dear brother, I
+was just looking with admiration at these apple-trees of yours. I never
+saw finer. I am a great judge of apples. I find, in talking with my
+sister, that you make very little profit by them. That's a pity. One
+might establish a cider orchard in this county. You can take your own
+fields in hand; you can hire more, so as to make the whole, say a
+hundred acres. You can plant a very extensive apple-orchard on a grand
+scale. I have just run through the calculations; they are quite
+startling. Take 40 trees per acre--that's the proper average--at 1s.
+6d. per tree; 4,000 trees for 100 acres, L300; labor of digging,
+trenching, say L10 an acre,--total for 100 acres, L1,000. Pave the
+bottoms of the holes to prevent the tap-root striking down into the bad
+soil,--oh! I am very close and careful you see, in all minutiae; always
+was,--pave 'em with rubbish and stones, 6d. a hole; that for 4,000
+trees the 100 acres is L100. Add the rent of the land, at 30s. an
+acre,--L150. And how stands the total?" Here Uncle Jack proceeded
+rapidly ticking off the items with his fingers:--
+
+ "Trees ........... 300
+ Labor ........... 1,000
+ Paving holes .... 100
+ Rent ............ 150
+ ____
+ Total ....... L1,550
+
+"That's your expense. Mark! Now to the profit. Orchards in Kent realize
+L100 an acre, some even L150; but let's be moderate, say only L50 an
+acre, and your gross profit per year, from a capital of L1,550, will be
+L5,000,--L5,000 a-year. Think of that, brother Caxton! Deduct 10 per
+cent, or L500 a-year, for gardeners' wages, manure, etc., and the net
+product is L4,500. Your fortune's made, man,--it is made; I wish you
+joy!" And Uncle Jack rubbed his hands.
+
+"Bless me, father," said eagerly the young Pisistratus, who had
+swallowed with ravished ears every syllable and figure of this inviting
+calculation, "why, we should be as rich as Squire Rollick; and then, you
+know, sir, you could keep a pack of fox-hounds."
+
+"And buy a large library," added Uncle Jack, with more subtle knowledge
+of human nature as to its appropriate temptations. "There's my friend
+the archbishop's collection to be sold."
+
+Slowly recovering his breath, my father gently turned his eyes from one
+to the other; and then, laying his left hand on my head, while with the
+right he held up Erasmus rebukingly to Uncle Jack, said,--
+
+"See how easily you can sow covetousness and avidity in the youthful
+mind. Ah, brother!"
+
+"You are too severe, sir. See how the dear boy hangs his head! Fie!
+natural enthusiasm of his years,--'gay hope by fancy fed,' as the poet
+says. Why, for that fine boy's sake you ought not to lose so certain an
+occasion of wealth, I may say, untold. For observe, you will form a
+nursery of crabs; each year you go on grafting and enlarging your
+plantation, renting,--nay, why not buying, more land? Gad, sir! in
+twenty years you might cover half the county; but say you stop short at
+2,000 acres, why the net profit is L90,000 a-year. A duke's income,--a
+duke's; and going a-begging, as I may say."
+
+"But stop," said I, modestly; "the trees don't grow in a year. I know
+when our last apple-tree was planted--it is five years ago--it was then
+three years old, and it only bore one half-bushel last autumn."
+
+"What an intelligent lad it is! Good head there. Oh, he'll do credit
+to his great fortune, brother," said Uncle Jack, approvingly. "True, my
+boy. But in the mean while we could fill the ground, as they do in
+Kent, with gooseberries and currants, or onions and cabbages.
+Nevertheless, considering we are not great capitalists, I am afraid we
+must give up a share of our profits to diminish our outlay. So harkye,
+Pisistratus--look at him, brother, simple as he stands there, I think he
+is born with a silver spoon in his mouth--harkye, now to the mysteries
+of speculation. Your father shall quietly buy the land, and then,
+presto! we will issue a prospectus and start a company. Associations
+can wait five years for a return. Every year, meanwhile, increases the
+value of the shares. Your father takes, we say, fifty shares at L50
+each, paying only an instalment of L2 a share. He sells 35 shares at
+cent per cent. He keeps the remaining 15, and his fortune's made all
+the same; only it is not quite so large as if he had kept the whole
+concern in his own hands. What say you now, brother Caxton? Visne
+edere pomum? as we used to say at school."
+
+"I don't want a shilling more than I have got," said my father,
+resolutely. "My wife would not love me better; my food would not
+nourish me more; my boy would not, in all probability, be half so hardy,
+or a tenth part so industrious; and--"
+
+"But," interrupted Uncle Jack, pertinaciously, and reserving his grand
+argument for the last, "the good you would confer on the community; the
+progress given to the natural productions of your country; the wholesome
+beverage of cider brought within cheap reach of the laboring classes.
+If it was only for your sake, should I have urged this question? Should
+I now? Is it in my character? But for the sake of the public! mankind!
+of our fellow-creatures! Why, sir, England could not get on if
+gentlemen like you had not a little philanthropy and speculation."
+
+"Papoe!" exclaimed my father; "to think that England can't get on
+without turning Austin Caxton into an apple-merchant! My dear Jack,
+listen. You remind me of a colloquy in this book,--wait a bit, here it
+is, 'Pamphagus and Cocles.' Cocles recognizes his friend, who had been
+absent for many years, by his eminent and remarkable nose. Pamphagus
+says, rather irritably, that he is not ashamed of his nose. 'Ashamed of
+it! no, indeed,' says Cocles; 'I never saw a nose that could be put to
+so many uses!' 'Ha!' says Pamphagus (whose curiosity is aroused),
+'uses! what uses?' Whereon (lepidissime frater!) Cocles, with eloquence
+as rapid as yours, runs on with a countless list of the uses to which so
+vast a development of the organ can be applied. 'If the cellar was
+deep, it could sniff up the wine like an elephant's trunk; if the
+bellows were missing, it could blow the fire; if the lamp was too
+glaring, it could suffice for a shade; it would serve as a speaking-
+trumpet to a herald; it could sound a signal of battle in the field; it
+would do for a wedge in wood-cutting, a spade for digging, a scythe for
+mowing, an anchor in sailing,'--till Painphagus cries out, 'Lucky dog
+that I am! and I never knew before what a useful piece of furniture I
+carried about with me.'" My father paused and strove to whistle; but
+that effort of harmony failed him, and he added, smiling, "So much for
+my apple-trees, brother John. Leave them to their natural destination
+of filling tarts and dumplings."
+
+Uncle Jack looked a little discomposed for a moment; but he then laughed
+with his usual heartiness, and saw that he had not yet got to my
+father's blind side. I confess that my revered parent rose in my
+estimation after that conference; and I began to see that a man may not
+be quite without common sense, though he is a scholar. Indeed, whether
+it was that Uncle Jack's visit acted as a gentle stimulant to his
+relaxed faculties, or that I, now grown older and wiser, began to see
+his character more clearly, I date from those summer holidays the
+commencement of that familiar and endearing intimacy which ever after
+existed between my father and myself. Often I deserted the more
+extensive rambles of Uncle Jack, or the greater allurements of a
+cricket-match in the village, or a day's fishing in Squire Rollick's
+preserves, for a quiet stroll with my father by the old peach wall,--
+sometimes silent, indeed, and already musing over the future, while he
+was busy with the past, but amply rewarded when, suspending his lecture,
+he would pour forth hoards of varied learning, rendered amusing by his
+quaint comments, and that Socratic satire which only fell short of wit
+because it never passed into malice. At some moments, indeed, the vein
+ran into eloquence; and with some fine heroic sentiment in his old
+books, his stooping form rose erect, his eye flashed, and you saw that
+he had not been originally formed and wholly meant for the obscure
+seclusion in which his harmless days now wore contentedly away.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+"Egad, sir, the county is going to the dogs! Our sentiments are not
+represented in parliament or out of it. The 'County Mercury' has
+ratted, and be hanged to it! and now we have not one newspaper in the
+whole shire to express the sentiments of the respectable part of the
+community!"
+
+This speech was made on the occasion of one of the rare dinners given by
+Mr. and Mrs. Caxton to the grandees of the neighborhood, and uttered by
+no less a person than Squire Rollick, of Rollick Hall, chairman of the
+quarter-sessions.
+
+I confess that I (for I was permitted on that first occasion not only to
+dine with the guests, but to outstay the ladies, in virtue of my growing
+years and my promise to abstain from the decanters),--I confess, I say,
+that I, poor innocent, was puzzled to conjecture what sudden interest in
+the county newspaper could cause Uncle Jack to prick up his ears like a
+warhorse at the sound of the drum and rush so incontinently across the
+interval between Squire Rollick and himself. But the mind of that deep
+and truly knowing man was not to be plumbed by a chit of my age. You
+could not fish for the shy salmon in that pool with a crooked pin and a
+bobbin, as you would for minnows; or, to indulge in a more worthy
+illustration, you could not say of him, as Saint Gregory saith of the
+streams of Jordan, "A lamb could wade easily through that ford."
+
+"Not a county newspaper to advocate the rights of--" here my uncle
+stopped, as if at a loss, and whispered in my ear; "What are his
+politics?" "Don't know," answered I. Uncle Jack intuitively took down
+from his memory the phrase most readily at hand, and added, with a nasal
+intonation, "the rights of our distressed fellow-creatures!"
+
+My father scratched his eyebrow with his fore-finger, as he was apt to
+do when doubtful; the rest of the company--a silent set-looked up.
+
+"Fellow-creatures!" said Mr. Rollick,--"fellow-fiddlesticks!"
+
+Uncle Jack was clearly in the wrong box. He drew out of it cautiously,
+--"I mean," said he, "our respectable fellow-creatures;" and then
+suddenly it occurred to him that a "County Mercury" would naturally
+represent the agricultural interest, and that if Mr. Rollick said that
+the "'County Mercury' ought to be hanged," he was one of those
+politicians who had already begun to call the agricultural interest "a
+Vampire." Flushed with that fancied discovery, Uncle Jack rushed on,
+intending to bear along with the stream, thus fortunately directed, all
+the "rubbish" (1) subsequently shot into Covent Garden and Hall of
+Commerce.
+
+"Yes, respectable fellow-creatures, men of capital and enterprise! For
+what are these country squires compared to our wealthy merchants? What
+is this agricultural interest that professes to be the prop of the
+land?"
+
+"Professes!" cried Squire Rollick,--"it is the prop of the land; and as
+for those manufacturing fellows who have bought up the 'Mercury'--"
+
+"Bought up the 'Mercury,' have they, the villains?" cried Uncle Jack,
+interrupting the Squire, and now bursting into full scent. "Depend upon
+it, sir, it is a part of a diabolical system of buying up,--which must
+be exposed manfully. Yes, as I was saying, what is that agricultural
+interest which they desire to ruin; which they declare to be so bloated;
+which they call 'a Vampire!'--they the true blood-suckers, the venomous
+millocrats? Fellow-creatures, Sir! I may well call distressed fellow-
+creatures the members of that much-suffering class of which you yourself
+are an ornament. What can be more deserving of our best efforts for
+relief than a country gentleman like yourself, we'll say,--of a nominal
+L5,000 a-year,--compelled to keep up an establishment, pay for his fox-
+hounds, support the whole population by contributions to the poor-rates,
+support the whole church by tithes; all justice, jails, and prosecutions
+of the county-rates; all thoroughfares by the highway-rates; ground down
+by mortgages, Jews, or jointures; having to provide for younger
+children; enormous expenses for cutting his woods, manuring his model
+farm, and fattening huge oxen till every pound of flesh costs him five
+pounds sterling in oil-cake; and then the lawsuits necessary to protect
+his rights,--plundered on all hands by poachers, sheep-stealers, dog-
+stealers, churchwardens, overseers, gardeners, gamekeepers, and that
+necessary rascal, his steward. If ever there was a distressed fellow-
+creature in the world, it is a country gentleman with a great estate."
+
+My father evidently thought this an exquisite piece of banter, for by
+the corner of his mouth I saw that he chuckled inly.
+
+Squire Rollick, who had interrupted the speech by sundry approving
+exclamations, particularly at the mention of poor-rates, tithes, county-
+rates, mortgages, and poachers, here pushed the bottle to Uncle Jack,
+and said, civilly: "There's a great deal of truth in what you say, Mr.
+Tibbets. The agricultural interest is going to ruin; and when it does,
+I would not give that for Old England!" and Mr. Rollick snapped his
+finger and thumb. "But what is to be done,--done for the county?
+There's the rub."
+
+"I was just coming to that," quoth Uncle Jack. "You say that you have
+not a county paper that upholds your cause and denounces your enemies."
+
+"Not since the Whigs bought the '--shire Mercury.'"
+
+"Why, good heavens! Mr. Rollick, how can you suppose that you will have
+justice done you if at this time of day you neglect the Press? The
+Press, sir--there it is--air we breathe! What you want is a great
+national--no, not a national--A Provincial proprietary weekly journal,
+supported liberally and steadily by that mighty party whose very
+existence is at stake. Without such a paper you are gone, you are
+dead,--extinct, defunct, buried alive; with such a paper,--well
+conducted, well edited by a man of the world, of education, of practical
+experience in agriculture and human nature, mines, corn, manure,
+insurances, Acts of Parliament, cattle-shows, the state of parties, and
+the best interests of society,--with such a man and such a paper, you
+will carry all before you. But it must be done by subscription, by
+association, by co-operation,--by a Grand Provincial Benevolent
+Agricultural Anti-innovating Society."
+
+"Egad, sir, you are right!" said Mr. Rollick, slapping his thigh; "and
+I'll ride over to our Lord-Lieutenant to-morrow. His eldest son ought
+to carry the county."
+
+"And he will, if you encourage the Press and set up a journal," said
+Uncle Jack, rubbing his hands, and then gently stretching them out and
+drawing them gradually together, as if he were already enclosing in that
+airy circle the unsuspecting guineas of the unborn association.
+
+All happiness dwells more in the hope than the possession; and at that
+moment I dare be sworn that Uncle Jack felt a livelier rapture circum
+proecordia, warming his entrails, and diffusing throughout his whole
+frame of five feet eight the prophetic glow of the Magna Diva Moneta,
+than if he had enjoyed for ten years the actual possession of King
+Croesus's privy purse.
+
+"I thought Uncle Jack was not a Tory," said I to my father the next day.
+
+My father, who cared nothing for politics, opened his eyes. "Are you a
+Tory or a Whig, papa?"
+
+"Um!" said my father, "there's a great deal to be said on both sides of
+the question. You see, my boy, that Mrs. Primmins has a great many
+moulds for our butter-pats: sometimes they come up with a crown on them,
+sometimes with the more popular impress of a cow. It is all very well
+for those who dish up the butter to print it according to their taste or
+in proof of their abilities; it is enough for us to butter our bread,
+say grace, and pay for the dairy. Do you understand?"
+
+"Not a bit, sir."
+
+"Your namesake Pisistratus was wiser than you, then," said my father.
+"And now let us feed the duck. Where's your uncle?"
+
+"He has borrowed Mr. Squills's mare, sir, and gone with Squire Rollick
+to the great lord they were talking of."
+
+"Oho!" said my father; "brother Jack is going to print his butter!"
+
+And indeed Uncle Jack played his cards so well on this occasion, and set
+before the Lord-Lieutenant, with whom he had a personal interview, so
+fine a prospectus and so nice a calculation that before my holidays were
+over, he was installed in a very handsome office in the county town,
+with private apartments over it, and a salary of L500 a-year, for
+advocating the cause of his distressed fellow-creatures, including
+noblemen, squires, yeomanry, farmers, and all yearly subscribers in the
+New Proprietary Agricultural Anti-Innovating-Shire Weekly Gazette. At
+the head of his newspaper Uncle Jack caused to be engraved a crown,
+supported by a flail and a crook, with the motto, "Pro rege et grege."
+And that was the way in which Uncle Jack printed his pats of butter.
+
+(1) "We talked sad rubbish when we first began," says Mr. Cobden, in
+one of his speeches.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+I seemed to myself to have made a leap in life when I returned to
+school. I no longer felt as a boy. Uncle Jack, out of his own purse,
+had presented me with my first pair of Wellington boots; my mother had
+been coaxed into allowing me a small tail to jackets hitherto tail-less;
+my collars, which had been wont, spaniel-like, to flap and fall about my
+neck, now, terrier-wise, stood erect and rampant, encompassed with a
+circumvallation of whalebone, buckram, and black silk. I was, in truth,
+nearly seventeen, and I gave myself the airs of a man. Now, be it
+observed that that crisis in adolescent existence wherein we first pass
+from Master Sisty into Mr. Pisistratus, or Pisistratus Caxton, Esq.;
+wherein we arrogate, and with tacit concession from our elders, the
+long-envied title of young man,--always seems a sudden and imprompt
+upshooting and elevation. We do not mark the gradual preparations
+thereto; we remember only one distinct period, in which all the signs
+and symptoms burst and effloresced together,--Wellington boots, coat-
+tail, cravat, down on the upper lip, thoughts on razors, reveries on
+young ladies, and a new kind of sense of poetry.
+
+I began now to read steadily, to understand what I did read, and to cast
+some anxious looks towards the future, with vague notions that I had a
+place to win in the world, and that nothing is to be won without
+perseverance and labor; and so I went on till I was seventeen and at the
+head of the school, when I received the two letters I subjoin.
+
+1.--FROM AUGUSTINE CAXTON, Esq.
+
+ My Dear Son,--I have informed Dr. Herman that you will not return
+ to him after the approaching holidays. You are old enough now to
+ look forward to the embraces of our beloved Alma Mater, and I think
+ studious enough to hope for the honors she bestows on her worthier
+ sons. You are already entered at Trinity,--and in fancy I see my
+ youth return to me in your image. I see you wandering where the
+ Cam steals its way through those noble gardens; and, confusing you
+ with myself, I recall the old dreams that haunted me when the
+ chiming bells swung over the placid waters. Verum secretumque
+ Mouseion, quam multa dictatis, quam multa invenitis! There at that
+ illustrious college, unless the race has indeed degenerated, you
+ will measure yourself with young giants. You will see those who,
+ in the Law, the Church, the State, or the still cloisters of
+ Learning, are destined to become the eminent leaders of your age.
+ To rank amongst them you are not forbidden to aspire; he who in
+ youth "can scorn delights, and love laborious days," should pitch
+ high his ambition.
+
+ Your Uncle Jack says he has done wonders with his newspaper; though
+ Mr. Rollick grumbles, and declares that it is full of theories, and
+ that it puzzles the farmers. Uncle Jack, in reply, contends that
+ he creates an audience, not addresses one, and sighs that his
+ genius is thrown away in a provincial town. In fact, he really is
+ a very clever man, and might do much in London, I dare say. He
+ often comes over to dine and sleep, returning the next morning.
+ His energy is wonderful--and contagious. Can you imagine that he
+ has actually stirred up the flame of my vanity, by constantly
+ poking at the bars? Metaphor apart, I find myself collecting all
+ my notes and commonplaces, and wondering to see how easily they
+ fall into method, and take shape in chapters and books. I cannot
+ help smiling when I add, that I fancy I am going to become an
+ author; and smiling more when I think that your Uncle Jack should
+ have provoked me into so egregious an ambition. However, I have
+ read some passages of my book to your mother, and she says, "it is
+ vastly fine," which is encouraging. Your mother has great good
+ sense, though I don't mean to say that she has much learning,--
+ which is a wonder, considering that Pic de la Mirandola was nothing
+ to her father. Yet he died, dear great man, and never printed a
+ line; while I--positively I blush to think of my temerity! Adieu,
+ my son; make the best of the time that remains with you at the
+ Philhellenic. A full mind is the true Pantheism, plena Jovis. It
+ is only in some corner of the brain which we leave empty that Vice
+ can obtain a lodging. When she knocks at your door, my son, be
+ able to say, "No room for your ladyship; pass on." Your
+ affectionate father,
+ A. CAXTON.
+
+2.--FROM Mrs. CAXTON.
+
+ My Dearest Sisty,--You are coming home! My heart is so full of
+ that thought that it seems to me as if I could not write anything
+ else. Dear child, you are coming home; you have done with school,
+ you have done with strangers,--you are our own, all our own son
+ again! You are mine again, as you were in the cradle, the nursery,
+ and the garden, Sisty, when we used to throw daisies at each other!
+ You will laugh at me so when I tell you that as soon as I heard you
+ were coming home for good, I crept away from the room, and went to
+ my drawer where I keep, you know, all my treasures. There was your
+ little cap that I worked myself, and your poor little nankeen
+ jacket that you were so proud to throw off--oh! and many other
+ relies of you when you were little Sisty, and I was not the cold,
+ formal "Mother" you call me now, but dear "Mamma." I kissed them,
+ Sisty, and said, "My little child is coming back to me again!" So
+ foolish was I, I forgot all the long years that have passed, and
+ fancied I could carry you again in my arms, and that I should again
+ coax you to say "God bless papa." Well, well! I write now between
+ laughing and crying. You cannot be what you were, but you are
+ still my own dear son,--your father's son; dearer to me than all
+ the world,--except that father.
+
+ I am so glad, too, that you will come so soon,--come while your
+ father is really warm with his book, and while you can encourage
+ and keep him to it. For why should be not be great and famous?
+ Why should not all admire him as we do? You know how proud of him
+ I always was; but I do so long to let the world know why I was so
+ proud. And yet, after all, it is not only because he is so wise
+ and learned, but because he is so good, and has such a large, noble
+ heart. But the heart must appear in the book too, as well as the
+ learning. For though it is full of things I don't understand,
+ every now and then there is something I do understand,--that seems
+ as if that heart spoke out to all the world.
+
+ Your uncle has undertaken to get it published, and your father is
+ going up to town with him about it, as soon as the first volume is
+ finished.
+
+ All are quite well except poor Mrs. Jones, who has the ague very
+ bad indeed; Primmins has made her wear a charm for it, and Mrs.
+ Jones actually declares she is already much better. One can't deny
+ that there may be a great deal in such things, though it seems
+ quite against the reason. Indeed your father says, "Why not? A
+ charm must be accompanied by a strong wish on the part of the
+ charmer that it may succeed,--and what is magnetism but a wish?" I
+ don't quite comprehend this; but, like all your father says, it has
+ more than meets the eye, I am quite sure.
+
+ Only three weeks to the holidays, and then no more school, Sisty,--
+ no more school! I shall have your room all done, freshly, and made
+ so pretty; they are coming about it to-morrow.
+
+ The duck is quite well, and I really don't think it is quite as
+ lame as it was.
+
+ God bless you, dear, dear child. Your affectionate happy mother.
+ K.C.
+
+The interval between these letters and the morning on which I was to
+return home seemed to me like one of those long, restless, yet half-
+dreamy days which in some infant malady I had passed in a sick-bed. I
+went through my task-work mechanically, composed a Greek ode in farewell
+to the Philhellenic, which Dr. Herman pronounced a chef d'oeuvre, and my
+father, to whom I sent it in triumph, returned a letter of false English
+with it, that parodied all my Hellenic barbarisms by imitating them in
+my mother-tongue. However, I swallowed the leek, and consoled myself
+with the pleasing recollection that, after spending six years in
+learning to write bad Greek, I should never have any further occasion to
+avail myself of so precious an accomplishment.
+
+And so came the last day. Then alone, and in a kind of delighted
+melancholy, I revisited each of the old haunts,--the robbers' cave we
+had dug one winter, and maintained, six of us, against all the police of
+the little kingdom; the place near the pales where I had fought my first
+battle; the old beech-stump on which I sat to read letters from home!
+With my knife, rich in six blades (besides a cork-screw, a pen-picker,
+and a button-hook), I carved my name in large capitals over my desk.
+Then night came, and the bell rang, and we went to our rooms. And I
+opened the window and looked out. I saw all the stars, and wondered
+which was mine,--which should light to fame and fortune the manhood
+about to commence. Hope and Ambition were high within me; and yet,
+behind them stood Melancholy. Ah! who amongst you, readers, can now
+summon back all those thoughts, sweet and sad,--all that untold, half-
+conscious regret for the past,--all those vague longings for the future,
+which made a poet of the dullest on the last night before leaving
+boyhood and school forever?
+
+
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CAXTONS, BY LYTTON, PART 2 ***
+
+********* This file should be named 7587.txt or 7587.zip **********
+
+This eBook was produced by Pat Castevens
+and David Widger
+
+Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US
+unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance
+of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing.
+Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections,
+even years after the official publication date.
+
+Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til
+midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
+The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at
+Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A
+preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
+and editing by those who wish to do so.
+
+Most people start at our Web sites at:
+https://gutenberg.org or
+http://promo.net/pg
+
+These Web sites include award-winning information about Project
+Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new
+eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!).
+
+
+Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement
+can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is
+also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the
+indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an
+announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter.
+
+http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or
+ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03
+
+Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90
+
+Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want,
+as it appears in our Newsletters.
+
+
+Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)
+
+We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The
+time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours
+to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
+searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our
+projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value
+per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
+million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text
+files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+
+We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002
+If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total
+will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end.
+
+The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks!
+This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
+which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users.
+
+Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated):
+
+eBooks Year Month
+
+ 1 1971 July
+ 10 1991 January
+ 100 1994 January
+ 1000 1997 August
+ 1500 1998 October
+ 2000 1999 December
+ 2500 2000 December
+ 3000 2001 November
+ 4000 2001 October/November
+ 6000 2002 December*
+ 9000 2003 November*
+10000 2004 January*
+
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created
+to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium.
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people
+and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut,
+Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois,
+Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts,
+Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New
+Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio,
+Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South
+Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West
+Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
+
+We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones
+that have responded.
+
+As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list
+will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states.
+Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state.
+
+In answer to various questions we have received on this:
+
+We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally
+request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and
+you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have,
+just ask.
+
+While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are
+not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting
+donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to
+donate.
+
+International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about
+how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made
+deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are
+ways.
+
+Donations by check or money order may be sent to:
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+PMB 113
+1739 University Ave.
+Oxford, MS 38655-4109
+
+Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment
+method other than by check or money order.
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by
+the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN
+[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are
+tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising
+requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be
+made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states.
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+You can get up to date donation information online at:
+
+https://www.gutenberg.org/donation.html
+
+
+***
+
+If you can't reach Project Gutenberg,
+you can always email directly to:
+
+Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com>
+
+Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message.
+
+We would prefer to send you information by email.
+
+
+**The Legal Small Print**
+
+
+(Three Pages)
+
+***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START***
+Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers.
+They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
+your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from
+someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
+fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
+disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how
+you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to.
+
+*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK
+By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
+eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
+this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive
+a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by
+sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
+you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical
+medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.
+
+ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS
+This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks,
+is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart
+through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project").
+Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
+on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
+distribute it in the United States without permission and
+without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth
+below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook
+under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.
+
+Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market
+any commercial products without permission.
+
+To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable
+efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
+works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any
+medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other
+things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
+intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
+disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer
+codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.
+
+LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
+But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
+[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may
+receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims
+all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
+legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
+UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
+INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
+OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
+POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
+
+If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of
+receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
+you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
+time to the person you received it from. If you received it
+on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
+such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
+copy. If you received it electronically, such person may
+choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
+receive it electronically.
+
+THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
+TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
+LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
+PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
+
+Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
+the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
+above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
+may have other legal rights.
+
+INDEMNITY
+You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation,
+and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated
+with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
+texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including
+legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the
+following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook,
+[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook,
+or [3] any Defect.
+
+DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
+You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by
+disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
+"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
+or:
+
+[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this
+ requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
+ eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however,
+ if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable
+ binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
+ including any form resulting from conversion by word
+ processing or hypertext software, but only so long as
+ *EITHER*:
+
+ [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
+ does *not* contain characters other than those
+ intended by the author of the work, although tilde
+ (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
+ be used to convey punctuation intended by the
+ author, and additional characters may be used to
+ indicate hypertext links; OR
+
+ [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at
+ no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
+ form by the program that displays the eBook (as is
+ the case, for instance, with most word processors);
+ OR
+
+ [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
+ no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
+ eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
+ or other equivalent proprietary form).
+
+[2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this
+ "Small Print!" statement.
+
+[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the
+ gross profits you derive calculated using the method you
+ already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you
+ don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are
+ payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation"
+ the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were
+ legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent
+ periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to
+ let us know your plans and to work out the details.
+
+WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
+Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of
+public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed
+in machine readable form.
+
+The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time,
+public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses.
+Money should be paid to the:
+"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or
+software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at:
+hart@pobox.com
+
+[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only
+when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by
+Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be
+used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be
+they hardware or software or any other related product without
+express permission.]
+
+*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END*
diff --git a/7587.zip b/7587.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a39cb10
--- /dev/null
+++ b/7587.zip
Binary files differ
diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6312041
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..547ca5c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #7587 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/7587)