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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/7556-h.zip b/7556-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4b1b472 --- /dev/null +++ b/7556-h.zip diff --git a/7556-h/7556-h.htm b/7556-h/7556-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1803896 --- /dev/null +++ b/7556-h/7556-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1147 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + QUOTES AND IMAGES FROM MARK TWAIN + </title> +<link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 2em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + pre { font-family: Times; font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h2> + QUOTES AND IMAGES FROM MARK TWAIN + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Quotes and Images From The Works of Mark +Twain, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), Edited and Arranged by David Widger + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Quotes and Images From The Works of Mark Twain + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Editor: David Widger + +Release Date: August 30, 2004 [EBook #7556] +Last Updated: October 26, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <div class="mynote"> + <i><a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/7556/old/orig7556-h/main.htm"> + LINK TO THE ORIGINAL HTML FILE: This Ebook Has Been Reformatted For Better + Appearance In Mobile Viewers Such As Kindles And Others. The Original + Format, Which The Editor Believes Has A More Attractive Appearance For + Laptops And Other Computers, May Be Viewed By Clicking On This Box.</a></i> + </div> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + QUOTATIONS FROM MARK TWAIN + </h1> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain1.jpg (21K)" src="images/twain1.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-birth.jpg (52K)" src="images/twain-birth.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <h3> + Birthplace + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + SOME OF THE EDITOR'S FAVORITES + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-smoking.jpg (16K)" src="images/twain-smoking.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-white.jpg (18K)" src="images/twain-white.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-england.jpg (29K)" src="images/twain-england.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-1880.jpg (16K)" src="images/twain-1880.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-bed.jpg (30K)" src="images/twain-bed.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-oxford.jpg (19K)" src="images/twain-oxford.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Aim and object of the law and lawyers +was to defeat justice + +All life seems to be sacred except +human life + +Always trying to build a house by +beginning at the top + +Believed it; because she desired to +believe it + +Best intentions and the frailest +resolution + +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody +good + +But there are liars everywhere this +year + +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory +of Want + +Children were clothed in nothing but +sunshine + +Contempt of Court on the part of a +horse + +Fertile in invention and elastic in +conscience + +Fun—but of a mild type + +Grief that is too deep to find help in +moan or groan or outcry + +Haughty humility + +I was not scared, but I was +considerably agitated + +I had a delicacy about going home and +getting thrashed + +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we +say he is a crank + +Imagination to help his memory + +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage +in his statements + +It used to be a good hotel, but that +proves nothing + +It is easier to stay out than get out + +It had cost something to upholster +these women + +Keg of these nails—of the true cross + +Let me take your grief and help you +carry it + +Life a vanity and a burden, and the +future but a way to death + +Man is the only animal that blushes—or +needs to + +Man was not a liar he only missed it by +the skin of his teeth + +Money is most difficult to get when +people need it most + +Native canoe is an irresponsible +looking contrivance + +No people who are quite so vulgar as +the over-refined ones + +No nation occupies a foot of land that +was not stolen + +Nothing that glitters is gold + +Notion that he is less savage than the +other savages + +Nursed his woe and exalted it + +Ostentatious of his modesty + +Otherwise they would have thought I was +afraid, which I was + +People talk so glibly of "feeling," +"expression," "tone," + +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the +dead + +Predominance of the imagination over +the judgment + +Profound respect for chastity—in other +people + +Prosperity is the best protector of +principle + +Received with a large silence that +suggested doubt + +Road, which did not seem to know its +own mind exactly + +Room to turn around in, but not to +swing a cat + +Scenery in California requires distance + +Seventy is old enough—after that, +there is too much risk + +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and +ends all sorrows + +Slept, if one might call such a +condition by so strong a name + +Smell about them which is peculiar but +not entertaining + +Takes your enemy and your friend, +working together, to hurt you + +The man with a new idea is a Crank +until the idea succeeds + +To a delicate stomach even imaginary +smoke can convey damage + +Tourists showing how things ought to be +managed + +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry +and narrow-mindedness + +Uncomplaining impoliteness + +Very pleasant man if you were not in +his way + +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity + +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and +now I owe two millions + +We ought never to do wrong when people +are looking + +We must create, a public opinion, said +Senator Dilworthy + +Well provided with cigars and other +necessaries of life + +What's a fair wind for us is a head +wind to them + +Whichever one they get is the one they +want + +Worth while to get tired out, because +one so enjoys resting + +Wrinkles should merely indicate where +smiles have been + +Your absence when you are present +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="twain-elmira.jpg (56K)" src="images/twain-elmira.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + A FEW SELECTED BOOKS + </h1> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkequator" id="equator"></a>FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Against nature to take an interest in familiar things +Age after age, the barren and meaningless process +All life seems to be sacred except human life +But there are liars everywhere this year +Capacity must be shown (in other work); in the law, concealment of it will do +Christmas brings harassment and dread to many excellent people +Climate which nothing can stand except rocks +Creature which was everything in general and nothing in particular +Custom supersedes all other forms of law +Death in life; death without its privileges +Every one is a moon, and has a dark side +Exercise, for such as like that kind of work +Explain the inexplicable +Faith is believing what you know ain't so +Forbids betting on a sure thing +Forgotten fact is news when it comes again +Get your formalities right—never mind about the moralities +Give thanks that Christmas comes but once a year +Good protections against temptations; but the surest is cowardice +Goody-goody puerilities and dreary moralities +Habit of assimilating incredibilities +Human pride is not worth while +Hunger is the handmaid of genius +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank +Inherited prejudices in favor of hoary ignorances +It is easier to stay out than get out +Man is the only animal that blushes—or needs to +Meddling philanthropists +Melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy +Moral sense, and there is an Immoral Sense +Most satisfactory pet—never coming when he is called +Natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs +Neglected her habits, and hadn't any +Never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt +No nation occupies a foot of land that was not stolen +No people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones +Notion that he is less savage than the other savages +Only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want +Ostentatious of his modesty +Otherwise they would have thought I was afraid, which I was +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the dead +Prosperity is the best protector of principle +Received with a large silence that suggested doubt +Seventy is old enough—after that, there is too much risk +Silent lie and a spoken one +Sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw over +Takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you +Thankfulness is not so general +The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds +This is a poor old ship, and ought to be insured and sunk +To a delicate stomach even imaginary smoke can convey damage +Tourists showing how things ought to be managed +Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkinnocents" id="innocents"></a>THE INNOCENTS ABROAD + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Ancient painters never succeeded in denationalizing themselves +Apocryphal New Testament +Astonishing talent for seeing things that had already passed +Bade our party a kind good-bye, and proceeded to count spoons +Base flattery to call them immoral +Bones of St Denis +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good +Buy the man out, goodwill and all +By dividing this statement up among eight +Carry soap with them +Chapel of the Invention of the Cross +Christopher Colombo +Clustered thick with stony, mutilated saints +Commend me to Fennimore Cooper to find beauty in the Indians +Conceived a sort of unwarrantable unfriendliness +Confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on some other firm +Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo! +Cringing spirit of those great men +Diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair +Expression +Felt that it was not right to steal grapes +Fenimore Cooper Indians +Filed away among the archives of Russia—in the stove +For dismal scenery, I think Palestine must be the prince +Free from self-consciousness—which is at breakfast +Fumigation is cheaper than soap +Fun—but of a mild type +Getting rich very deliberately—very deliberately indeed +Guides +Have a prodigious quantity of mind +He never bored but he struck water +He ought to be dammed—or leveed +Holy Family always lived in grottoes +How tame a sight his country's flag is at home +I am going to try to worry along without it +I carried the sash along with me—I did not need the sash +I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed +I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated +Is, ah—is he dead? +It is a hopeless, dreary, heart-broken land +It is inferior—for coffee—but it is pretty fair tea +It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing +It was warm. It was the warmest place I ever was in +Joshua +Journals so voluminously begun +Keg of these nails—of the true cross +Lean and mean old age +Man peculiarly and insufferably self-conceited: not seasick +Marks the exact centre of the earth +Nauseous adulation of princely patrons +Never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language +Never left any chance for newspaper controversies +Never uses a one-syllable word when he can think of a longer one +No satisfaction in being a Pope in those days +Not afraid of a million Bedouins +Not bring ourselves to think St John had two sets of ashes +Old Travelers +One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare +Only solitary thing one does not smell in Turkey +Oriental splendor! +Original first shoddy contract mentioned in history +Overflowing his banks +People talk so glibly of "feeling," "expression," "tone," +Perdition catch all the guides +Picture which one ought to see once—not oftener +Polite hotel waiter who isn't an idiot +Relic matter a little overdone? +Room to turn around in, but not to swing a cat +Saviour, who seems to be of little importance any where in Rome +Self-satisfied monarch, the railroad conductor of America +Sentimental praises of the Arab's idolatry of his horse +She assumes a crushing dignity +Shepherd's Hotel, which is the worst on earth +Smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining +Some people can not stand prosperity +Somewhat singular taste in the matter of relics +St Charles Borromeo, Bishop of Milan +St Helena, the mother of Constantine +Starving to death +Stirring times here for a while if the last trump should blow +Tahoe means grasshoppers. It means grasshopper soup +The information the ancients didn't have was very voluminous +The Last Supper +There was a good deal of sameness about it +They were like nearly all the Frenchwomen I ever saw—homely +They were seasick. And I was glad of it +Those delightful parrots who have "been here before" +To give birth to an idea +Toll the signal for the St Bartholomew's Massacre +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness +Uncomplaining impoliteness +Under the charitable moon +Used fine tooth combs—successfully +Venitian visiting young ladies +Wandering Jew +Wasn't enough of it to make a pie +We all like to see people seasick when we are not, ourselves +Well provided with cigars and other necessaries of life +What's a fair wind for us is a head wind to them +Whichever one they get is the one they want +Who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months +Worth while to get tired out, because one so enjoys resting +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkroughing" id="roughing"></a>ROUGHING IT + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice +American saddle +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want +Children were clothed in nothing but sunshine +Contempt of Court on the part of a horse +Feared a great deal more than the almighty +Fertile in invention and elastic in conscience +Give one's watch a good long undisturbed spell +He was nearly lightnin' on superintending +He was one of the deadest men that ever lived +Hotel clerk who was crusty and disobliging +I had never seen lightning go like that horse +Juries composed of fools and rascals +List of things which we had seen and some other people had not +Man was not a liar he only missed it by the skin of his teeth +Most impossible reminiscences sound plausible +Native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance +Never knew there was a hell! +Nothing that glitters is gold +Profound respect for chastity—in other people +Scenery in California requires distance +Slept, if one might call such a condition by so strong a name +Useful information and entertaining nonsense +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkgilded" id="gilded"></a>THE GILDED AGE + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Accidental murder resulting from justifiable insanity +Always trying to build a house by beginning at the top +Appropriation +Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society +Believed it; because she desired to believe it +Best intentions and the frailest resolution +Big babies with beards +Cheap sentiment and high and mighty dialogue +Conscious superiority +Does your doctor know any thing +Enjoy icebergs—as scenery but not as company +Erie RR: causeway of cracked rails and cows, to the West +Fever of speculation +Final resort of the disappointed of her sex, the lecture platform +Geographical habits +Get away and find a place where he could despise himself +Gossips were soon at work +Grand old benevolent National Asylum for the Helpless +Grief that is too deep to find help in moan or groan or outcry +Haughty humility +Having no factitious weight of dignity to carry +Imagination to help his memory +Invariably advised to settle—no matter how, but settle +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage in his statements +Is this your first visit? +It had cost something to upholster these women +Large amount of money necessary to make a small hole +Later years brought their disenchanting wisdom +Let me take your grief and help you carry it +Life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death +Mail train which has never run over a cow +Meant no harm they only wanted to know +Money is most difficult to get when people need it most +Never sewed when she could avoid it. Bless her! +Nursed his woe and exalted it +Predominance of the imagination over the judgment +Question was asked and answered—in their eyes +Riches enough to be able to gratify reasonable desires +Road, which did not seem to know its own mind exactly +Sarcasms of fate +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and ends all sorrows +Small gossip stood a very poor chance +Sun bothers along over the Atlantic +Think a Congress of ours could convict the devil of anything +Titles never die in America +Too much grace and too little wine +Understood the virtues of "addition, division and silence" +Unlimited reliance upon human promises +Very pleasant man if you were not in his way +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions +"We must create, a public opinion," said Senator Dilworthy +We'll make you think you never was at home before +We've all got to come to it at last, anyway! +Widened, and deepened, and straightened—(Public river Project) +Wished that she could see his sufferings now +Your absence when you are present +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkspeeches" id="speeches"></a>MARK TWAIN'S SPEECHES + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +A little pride always goes along with a teaspoonful of brains +Ain't any real difference between triplets and an insurrection +Chastity, you can carry it too far +Classic: everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read +Don't know anything and can't do anything +Dwell on the particulars with senile rapture +Future great historian is lying—and doubtless will continue to +Head is full of history, and some of it is true, too +Humor enlivens and enlightens his morality +I shall never be as dead again as I was then +If can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road: don't go +Kill a lot of poets for writing about "Beautiful Spring" +Live upon the property of their heirs so long +Morality is all the better for his humor +Morals: rather teach them than practice them any day +Never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why +Never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake +Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel +Please state what figure you hold him at—and return the basket +Principles is another name for prejudices +She bears our children—ours as a general thing +Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress +The Essex band done the best it could +Time-expired man, to use Kipling's military phrase +To exaggerate is the only way I can approximate to the truth +Two kinds of Christian morals, one private and the other public +What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? +When in doubt, tell the truth +Women always want to know what is going on +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linksketches" id="sketches"></a>SKETCHES NEW AND OLD + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +A wood-fire is not a permanent thing +Accessory before the fact to his own murder +Aggregate to positive unhappiness +Always brought in 'not guilty' +Apocryphal was no slouch of a word, emanating from the source +Assertion is not proof +Early to bed and early to rise +I am useless and a nuisance, a cumberer of the earth +I never was so scared before and survived it +If I had sprung a leak now I had been lost +Just about cats enough for three apiece all around +Looked a look of vicious happiness +Lucid and unintoxicated intervals +No matter how absurd and unreasonable their demands +No public can withstand magnanimity +Not because I was afraid, but because I wanted to (go out the window) +Permanent reliable enemy +Science only needed a spoonful of supposition to build a mountain +State of mind bordering on impatience +Walking five miles to fish +Was a good deal annoyed when it appeared he was going to die +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkletters1" id="letters1"></a>TWAIN'S LETTERS V1 1835-1866 + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +A mighty national menace to sham +All talk and no cider +Condition my room is always in when you are not around +Deprived of the soothing consolation of swearing +Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it +Genius defies the laws of perspective +Hope deferred maketh the heart sick +I never greatly envied anybody but the dead +In the long analysis of the ages it is the truth that counts +Just about enough cats to go round +Moral bulwark reared against hypocrisy and superstition +The coveted estate of silence, time's only absolute gift +We went outside to keep from getting wet +What a pleasure there is in revenge! +When in doubt, tell the truth +When it is my turn, I don't +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="linkletters4" id="letters4"></a>TWAIN'S LETTERS V4 1886-1900 + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55 +Argument against suicide +Conversationally being yelled at +Dead people who go through the motions of life +Die in the promptest kind of a way and no fooling around +Heroic endurance that resembles contentment +Honest men must be pretty scarce +I wonder how they can lie so. It comes of practice, no doubt +If this is going to be too much trouble to you +One should be gentle with the ignorant +Sunday is the only day that brings unbearable leisure +Symbol of the human race ought to be an ax +What a pity it is that one's adventures never happen! +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + If you wish to read the entire context of any of these quotations, select + a short segment and copy it into your clipboard memory—then open the + following eBook and paste the phrase into your computer's find or search + operation. + </p> + <h3> + <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/0/3200/3200.txt">The Complete + Project Gutenberg Works of Mark Twain in Plain Text</a> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> Or:<br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/28803/28803-h/28803-h.htm">The + Complete Project Gutenberg Works of Mark Twain in Illustrated HTML</a> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + These quotations were collected from the works of Mark Twain by <a + href="mailto:cdwidger@gmail.com">David Widger</a> while preparing etexts + for Project Gutenberg. Comments and suggestions will be most welcome. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Quotes and Images From The Works of +Mark Twain, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + +***** This file should be named 7556-h.htm or 7556-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/7/5/5/7556/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Quotes and Images From The Works of Mark Twain + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + Edited and Arranged by David Widger + +Release Date: August 30, 2004 [EBook #7556] +[Last updated on February 19, 2007] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +QUOTES AND IMAGES FROM MARK TWAIN + + + + +QUOTATIONS FROM MARK TWAIN + + + + + +SOME OF THE EDITOR'S FAVORITES + + +Aim and object of the law and lawyers +was to defeat justice + +All life seems to be sacred except +human life + +Always trying to build a house by +beginning at the top + +Believed it; because she desired to +believe it + +Best intentions and the frailest +resolution + +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody +good + +But there are liars everywhere this +year + +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory +of Want + +Children were clothed in nothing but +sunshine + +Contempt of Court on the part of a +horse + +Fertile in invention and elastic in +conscience + +Fun--but of a mild type + +Grief that is too deep to find help in +moan or groan or outcry + +Haughty humility + +I was not scared, but I was +considerably agitated + +I had a delicacy about going home and +getting thrashed + +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we +say he is a crank + +Imagination to help his memory + +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage +in his statements + +It used to be a good hotel, but that +proves nothing + +It is easier to stay out than get out + +It had cost something to upholster +these women + +Keg of these nails--of the true cross + +Let me take your grief and help you +carry it + +Life a vanity and a burden, and the +future but a way to death + +Man is the only animal that blushes--or +needs to + +Man was not a liar he only missed it by +the skin of his teeth + +Money is most difficult to get when +people need it most + +Native canoe is an irresponsible +looking contrivance + +No people who are quite so vulgar as +the over-refined ones + +No nation occupies a foot of land that +was not stolen + +Nothing that glitters is gold + +Notion that he is less savage than the +other savages + +Nursed his woe and exalted it + +Ostentatious of his modesty + +Otherwise they would have thought I was +afraid, which I was + +People talk so glibly of "feeling," +"expression," "tone," + +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the +dead + +Predominance of the imagination over +the judgment + +Profound respect for chastity--in other +people + +Prosperity is the best protector of +principle + +Received with a large silence that +suggested doubt + +Road, which did not seem to know its +own mind exactly + +Room to turn around in, but not to +swing a cat + +Scenery in California requires distance + +Seventy is old enough--after that, +there is too much risk + +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and +ends all sorrows + +Slept, if one might call such a +condition by so strong a name + +Smell about them which is peculiar but +not entertaining + +Takes your enemy and your friend, +working together, to hurt you + +The man with a new idea is a Crank +until the idea succeeds + +To a delicate stomach even imaginary +smoke can convey damage + +Tourists showing how things ought to be +managed + +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry +and narrow-mindedness + +Uncomplaining impoliteness + +Very pleasant man if you were not in +his way + +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity + +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and +now I owe two millions + +We ought never to do wrong when people +are looking + +We must create, a public opinion, said +Senator Dilworthy + +Well provided with cigars and other +necessaries of life + +What's a fair wind for us is a head +wind to them + +Whichever one they get is the one they +want + +Worth while to get tired out, because +one so enjoys resting + +Wrinkles should merely indicate where +smiles have been + +Your absence when you are present + + + + + +A FEW SELECTED BOOKS + + +FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR + +Against nature to take an interest in familiar things +Age after age, the barren and meaningless process +All life seems to be sacred except human life +But there are liars everywhere this year +Capacity must be shown (in other work); in the law, + concealment of it will do +Christmas brings harassment and dread to many excellent people +Climate which nothing can stand except rocks +Creature which was everything in general and nothing in particular +Custom supersedes all other forms of law +Death in life; death without its privileges +Every one is a moon, and has a dark side +Exercise, for such as like that kind of work +Explain the inexplicable +Faith is believing what you know ain't so +Forbids betting on a sure thing +Forgotten fact is news when it comes again +Get your formalities right--never mind about the moralities +Give thanks that Christmas comes but once a year +Good protections against temptations; but the surest is cowardice +Goody-goody puerilities and dreary moralities +Habit of assimilating incredibilities +Human pride is not worth while +Hunger is the handmaid of genius +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank +Inherited prejudices in favor of hoary ignorances +It is easier to stay out than get out +Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to +Meddling philanthropists +Melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy +Moral sense, and there is an Immoral Sense +Most satisfactory pet--never coming when he is called +Natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs +Neglected her habits, and hadn't any +Never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt +No nation occupies a foot of land that was not stolen +No people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones +Notion that he is less savage than the other savages +Only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want +Ostentatious of his modesty +Otherwise they would have thought I was afraid, which I was +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the dead +Prosperity is the best protector of principle +Received with a large silence that suggested doubt +Seventy is old enough--after that, there is too much risk +Silent lie and a spoken one +Sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw over +Takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you +Thankfulness is not so general +The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds +This is a poor old ship, and ought to be insured and sunk +To a delicate stomach even imaginary smoke can convey damage +Tourists showing how things ought to be managed +Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been + + + + +THE INNOCENTS ABROAD + +Ancient painters never succeeded in denationalizing themselves +Apocryphal New Testament +Astonishing talent for seeing things that had already passed +Bade our party a kind good-bye, and proceeded to count spoons +Base flattery to call them immoral +Bones of St Denis +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good +Buy the man out, goodwill and all +By dividing this statement up among eight +Carry soap with them +Chapel of the Invention of the Cross +Christopher Colombo +Clustered thick with stony, mutilated saints +Commend me to Fennimore Cooper to find beauty in the Indians +Conceived a sort of unwarrantable unfriendliness +Confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on some other firm +Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo! +Cringing spirit of those great men +Diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair +Expression +Felt that it was not right to steal grapes +Fenimore Cooper Indians +Filed away among the archives of Russia--in the stove +For dismal scenery, I think Palestine must be the prince +Free from self-consciousness--which is at breakfast +Fumigation is cheaper than soap +Fun--but of a mild type +Getting rich very deliberately--very deliberately indeed +Guides +Have a prodigious quantity of mind +He never bored but he struck water +He ought to be dammed--or leveed +Holy Family always lived in grottoes +How tame a sight his country's flag is at home +I am going to try to worry along without it +I carried the sash along with me--I did not need the sash +I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed +I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated +Is, ah--is he dead? +It is a hopeless, dreary, heart-broken land +It is inferior--for coffee--but it is pretty fair tea +It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing +It was warm. It was the warmest place I ever was in +Joshua +Journals so voluminously begun +Keg of these nails--of the true cross +Lean and mean old age +Man peculiarly and insufferably self-conceited: not seasick +Marks the exact centre of the earth +Nauseous adulation of princely patrons +Never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language +Never left any chance for newspaper controversies +Never uses a one-syllable word when he can think of a longer one +No satisfaction in being a Pope in those days +Not afraid of a million Bedouins +Not bring ourselves to think St John had two sets of ashes +Old Travelers +One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare +Only solitary thing one does not smell in Turkey +Oriental splendor! +Original first shoddy contract mentioned in history +Overflowing his banks +People talk so glibly of "feeling," "expression," "tone," +Perdition catch all the guides +Picture which one ought to see once--not oftener +Polite hotel waiter who isn't an idiot +Relic matter a little overdone? +Room to turn around in, but not to swing a cat +Saviour, who seems to be of little importance any where in Rome +Self-satisfied monarch, the railroad conductor of America +Sentimental praises of the Arab's idolatry of his horse +She assumes a crushing dignity +Shepherd's Hotel, which is the worst on earth +Smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining +Some people can not stand prosperity +Somewhat singular taste in the matter of relics +St Charles Borromeo, Bishop of Milan +St Helena, the mother of Constantine +Starving to death +Stirring times here for a while if the last trump should blow +Tahoe means grasshoppers. It means grasshopper soup +The information the ancients didn't have was very voluminous +The Last Supper +There was a good deal of sameness about it +They were like nearly all the Frenchwomen I ever saw--homely +They were seasick. And I was glad of it +Those delightful parrots who have "been here before" +To give birth to an idea +Toll the signal for the St Bartholomew's Massacre +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness +Uncomplaining impoliteness +Under the charitable moon +Used fine tooth combs--successfully +Venitian visiting young ladies +Wandering Jew +Wasn't enough of it to make a pie +We all like to see people seasick when we are not, ourselves +Well provided with cigars and other necessaries of life +What's a fair wind for us is a head wind to them +Whichever one they get is the one they want +Who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months +Worth while to get tired out, because one so enjoys resting + + + + +ROUGHING IT + +Aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice +American saddle +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want +Children were clothed in nothing but sunshine +Contempt of Court on the part of a horse +Feared a great deal more than the almighty +Fertile in invention and elastic in conscience +Give one's watch a good long undisturbed spell +He was nearly lightnin' on superintending +He was one of the deadest men that ever lived +Hotel clerk who was crusty and disobliging +I had never seen lightning go like that horse +Juries composed of fools and rascals +List of things which we had seen and some other people had not +Man was not a liar he only missed it by the skin of his teeth +Most impossible reminiscences sound plausible +Native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance +Never knew there was a hell! +Nothing that glitters is gold +Profound respect for chastity--in other people +Scenery in California requires distance +Slept, if one might call such a condition by so strong a name +Useful information and entertaining nonsense +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity + + + + +THE GILDED AGE + +Accidental murder resulting from justifiable insanity +Always trying to build a house by beginning at the top +Appropriation +Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society +Believed it; because she desired to believe it +Best intentions and the frailest resolution +Big babies with beards +Cheap sentiment and high and mighty dialogue +Conscious superiority +Does your doctor know any thing +Enjoy icebergs--as scenery but not as company +Erie RR: causeway of cracked rails and cows, to the West +Fever of speculation +Final resort of the disappointed of her sex, the lecture platform +Geographical habits +Get away and find a place where he could despise himself +Gossips were soon at work +Grand old benevolent National Asylum for the Helpless +Grief that is too deep to find help in moan or groan or outcry +Haughty humility +Having no factitious weight of dignity to carry +Imagination to help his memory +Invariably advised to settle--no matter how, but settle +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage in his statements +Is this your first visit? +It had cost something to upholster these women +Large amount of money necessary to make a small hole +Later years brought their disenchanting wisdom +Let me take your grief and help you carry it +Life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death +Mail train which has never run over a cow +Meant no harm they only wanted to know +Money is most difficult to get when people need it most +Never sewed when she could avoid it. Bless her! +Nursed his woe and exalted it +Predominance of the imagination over the judgment +Question was asked and answered--in their eyes +Riches enough to be able to gratify reasonable desires +Road, which did not seem to know its own mind exactly +Sarcasms of fate +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and ends all sorrows +Small gossip stood a very poor chance +Sun bothers along over the Atlantic +Think a Congress of ours could convict the devil of anything +Titles never die in America +Too much grace and too little wine +Understood the virtues of "addition, division and silence" +Unlimited reliance upon human promises +Very pleasant man if you were not in his way +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions +"We must create, a public opinion," said Senator Dilworthy +We'll make you think you never was at home before +We've all got to come to it at last, anyway! +Widened, and deepened, and straightened--(Public river Project) +Wished that she could see his sufferings now +Your absence when you are present + + + + +MARK TWAIN'S SPEECHES + +A little pride always goes along with a teaspoonful of brains +Ain't any real difference between triplets and an insurrection +Chastity, you can carry it too far +Classic: everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read +Don't know anything and can't do anything +Dwell on the particulars with senile rapture +Future great historian is lying--and doubtless will continue to +Head is full of history, and some of it is true, too +Humor enlivens and enlightens his morality +I shall never be as dead again as I was then +If can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road: don't go +Kill a lot of poets for writing about "Beautiful Spring" +Live upon the property of their heirs so long +Morality is all the better for his humor +Morals: rather teach them than practice them any day +Never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why +Never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake +Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel +Please state what figure you hold him at--and return the basket +Principles is another name for prejudices +She bears our children--ours as a general thing +Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress +The Essex band done the best it could +Time-expired man, to use Kipling's military phrase +To exaggerate is the only way I can approximate to the truth +Two kinds of Christian morals, one private and the other public +What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? +When in doubt, tell the truth +Women always want to know what is going on + + + + +SKETCHES NEW AND OLD + +A wood-fire is not a permanent thing +Accessory before the fact to his own murder +Aggregate to positive unhappiness +Always brought in 'not guilty' +Apocryphal was no slouch of a word, emanating from the source +Assertion is not proof +Early to bed and early to rise +I am useless and a nuisance, a cumberer of the earth +I never was so scared before and survived it +If I had sprung a leak now I had been lost +Just about cats enough for three apiece all around +Looked a look of vicious happiness +Lucid and unintoxicated intervals +No matter how absurd and unreasonable their demands +No public can withstand magnanimity +Not because I was afraid, but because I wanted to (go out the window) +Permanent reliable enemy +Science only needed a spoonful of supposition to build a mountain +State of mind bordering on impatience +Walking five miles to fish +Was a good deal annoyed when it appeared he was going to die + + + + +TWAIN'S LETTERS V1 1835-1866 + +A mighty national menace to sham +All talk and no cider +Condition my room is always in when you are not around +Deprived of the soothing consolation of swearing +Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it +Genius defies the laws of perspective +Hope deferred maketh the heart sick +I never greatly envied anybody but the dead +In the long analysis of the ages it is the truth that counts +Just about enough cats to go round +Moral bulwark reared against hypocrisy and superstition +The coveted estate of silence, time's only absolute gift +We went outside to keep from getting wet +What a pleasure there is in revenge! +When in doubt, tell the truth +When it is my turn, I don't + + + + +TWAIN'S LETTERS V4 1886-1900 + +And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55 +Argument against suicide +Conversationally being yelled at +Dead people who go through the motions of life +Die in the promptest kind of a way and no fooling around +Heroic endurance that resembles contentment +Honest men must be pretty scarce +I wonder how they can lie so. It comes of practice, no doubt +If this is going to be too much trouble to you +One should be gentle with the ignorant +Sunday is the only day that brings unbearable leisure +Symbol of the human race ought to be an ax +What a pity it is that one's adventures never happen! + + + + +If you wish to read the entire context of any of these quotations, +select a short segment and copy it into your clipboard memory--then open +the following eBook and paste the phrase into your computer's find or +search operation. + +The Complete Project Gutenberg Works of Mark Twain +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext02/mtent13.txt + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Quotes and Images From The Works of +Mark Twain, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + +***** This file should be named 7556.txt or 7556.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/7/5/5/7556/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: Quotes and Images From The Works of Mark Twain + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + Edited and Arranged by David Widger + +Release Date: August 30, 2004 [EBook #7556] +[Last updated on February 19, 2007] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + +<br> +<hr> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + + + +<center><h1>QUOTATIONS FROM MARK TWAIN</h1></center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<center><img alt="twain1.jpg (21K)" src="images/twain1.jpg" height="649" width="500"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<center><img alt="twain-birth.jpg (52K)" src="images/twain-birth.jpg" height="418" width="650"> +</center> +<center><h3>Birthplace</h3></center> + +<a href="images/twain-birth.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2>SOME OF THE EDITOR'S FAVORITES</h2></center> +<br><br> + + +<center> +<table summary="Twain"> +<tr> +<td> +<img alt="twain-smoking.jpg (16K)" src="images/twain-smoking.jpg" height="518" width="400"> +<br><br> + + +<img alt="twain-white.jpg (18K)" src="images/twain-white.jpg" height="573" width="400"> +<br><br> + +<img alt="twain-england.jpg (29K)" src="images/twain-england.jpg" height="369" width="400"> +<br><br> + +<img alt="twain-1880.jpg (16K)" src="images/twain-1880.jpg" height="584" width="400"> +<br><br> + +<img alt="twain-bed.jpg (30K)" src="images/twain-bed.jpg" height="432" width="400"> +<br><br> + +<img alt="twain-oxford.jpg (19K)" src="images/twain-oxford.jpg" height="508" width="400"> + +<td> + + +<td> +<pre> +Aim and object of the law and lawyers +was to defeat justice + +All life seems to be sacred except +human life + +Always trying to build a house by +beginning at the top + +Believed it; because she desired to +believe it + +Best intentions and the frailest +resolution + +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody +good + +But there are liars everywhere this +year + +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory +of Want + +Children were clothed in nothing but +sunshine + +Contempt of Court on the part of a +horse + +Fertile in invention and elastic in +conscience + +Fun—but of a mild type + +Grief that is too deep to find help in +moan or groan or outcry + +Haughty humility + +I was not scared, but I was +considerably agitated + +I had a delicacy about going home and +getting thrashed + +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we +say he is a crank + +Imagination to help his memory + +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage +in his statements + +It used to be a good hotel, but that +proves nothing + +It is easier to stay out than get out + +It had cost something to upholster +these women + +Keg of these nails—of the true cross + +Let me take your grief and help you +carry it + +Life a vanity and a burden, and the +future but a way to death + +Man is the only animal that blushes—or +needs to + +Man was not a liar he only missed it by +the skin of his teeth + +Money is most difficult to get when +people need it most + +Native canoe is an irresponsible +looking contrivance + +No people who are quite so vulgar as +the over-refined ones + +No nation occupies a foot of land that +was not stolen + +Nothing that glitters is gold + +Notion that he is less savage than the +other savages + +Nursed his woe and exalted it + +Ostentatious of his modesty + +Otherwise they would have thought I was +afraid, which I was + +People talk so glibly of "feeling," +"expression," "tone," + +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the +dead + +Predominance of the imagination over +the judgment + +Profound respect for chastity—in other +people + +Prosperity is the best protector of +principle + +Received with a large silence that +suggested doubt + +Road, which did not seem to know its +own mind exactly + +Room to turn around in, but not to +swing a cat + +Scenery in California requires distance + +Seventy is old enough—after that, +there is too much risk + +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and +ends all sorrows + +Slept, if one might call such a +condition by so strong a name + +Smell about them which is peculiar but +not entertaining + +Takes your enemy and your friend, +working together, to hurt you + +The man with a new idea is a Crank +until the idea succeeds + +To a delicate stomach even imaginary +smoke can convey damage + +Tourists showing how things ought to be +managed + +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry +and narrow-mindedness + +Uncomplaining impoliteness + +Very pleasant man if you were not in +his way + +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity + +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and +now I owe two millions + +We ought never to do wrong when people +are looking + +We must create, a public opinion, said +Senator Dilworthy + +Well provided with cigars and other +necessaries of life + +What's a fair wind for us is a head +wind to them + +Whichever one they get is the one they +want + +Worth while to get tired out, because +one so enjoys resting + +Wrinkles should merely indicate where +smiles have been + +Your absence when you are present +</pre> +</td> +</tr> +</table> +</center> + + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><img alt="twain-elmira.jpg (56K)" src="images/twain-elmira.jpg" height="733" width="547"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h1>A FEW SELECTED BOOKS</h1></center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<blockquote> + +<h2><a name="equator"></a>FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR</h2> + +<pre> + +Against nature to take an interest in familiar things +Age after age, the barren and meaningless process +All life seems to be sacred except human life +But there are liars everywhere this year +Capacity must be shown (in other work); in the law, concealment of it will do +Christmas brings harassment and dread to many excellent people +Climate which nothing can stand except rocks +Creature which was everything in general and nothing in particular +Custom supersedes all other forms of law +Death in life; death without its privileges +Every one is a moon, and has a dark side +Exercise, for such as like that kind of work +Explain the inexplicable +Faith is believing what you know ain't so +Forbids betting on a sure thing +Forgotten fact is news when it comes again +Get your formalities right—never mind about the moralities +Give thanks that Christmas comes but once a year +Good protections against temptations; but the surest is cowardice +Goody-goody puerilities and dreary moralities +Habit of assimilating incredibilities +Human pride is not worth while +Hunger is the handmaid of genius +If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank +Inherited prejudices in favor of hoary ignorances +It is easier to stay out than get out +Man is the only animal that blushes—or needs to +Meddling philanthropists +Melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy +Moral sense, and there is an Immoral Sense +Most satisfactory pet—never coming when he is called +Natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs +Neglected her habits, and hadn't any +Never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt +No nation occupies a foot of land that was not stolen +No people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones +Notion that he is less savage than the other savages +Only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want +Ostentatious of his modesty +Otherwise they would have thought I was afraid, which I was +Pity is for the living, Envy is for the dead +Prosperity is the best protector of principle +Received with a large silence that suggested doubt +Seventy is old enough—after that, there is too much risk +Silent lie and a spoken one +Sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw over +Takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you +Thankfulness is not so general +The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds +This is a poor old ship, and ought to be insured and sunk +To a delicate stomach even imaginary smoke can convey damage +Tourists showing how things ought to be managed +Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been +</pre> +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="innocents"></a>THE INNOCENTS ABROAD</h2> + +<pre> + +Ancient painters never succeeded in denationalizing themselves +Apocryphal New Testament +Astonishing talent for seeing things that had already passed +Bade our party a kind good-bye, and proceeded to count spoons +Base flattery to call them immoral +Bones of St Denis +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good +Buy the man out, goodwill and all +By dividing this statement up among eight +Carry soap with them +Chapel of the Invention of the Cross +Christopher Colombo +Clustered thick with stony, mutilated saints +Commend me to Fennimore Cooper to find beauty in the Indians +Conceived a sort of unwarrantable unfriendliness +Confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on some other firm +Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo! +Cringing spirit of those great men +Diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair +Expression +Felt that it was not right to steal grapes +Fenimore Cooper Indians +Filed away among the archives of Russia—in the stove +For dismal scenery, I think Palestine must be the prince +Free from self-consciousness—which is at breakfast +Fumigation is cheaper than soap +Fun—but of a mild type +Getting rich very deliberately—very deliberately indeed +Guides +Have a prodigious quantity of mind +He never bored but he struck water +He ought to be dammed—or leveed +Holy Family always lived in grottoes +How tame a sight his country's flag is at home +I am going to try to worry along without it +I carried the sash along with me—I did not need the sash +I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed +I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated +Is, ah—is he dead? +It is a hopeless, dreary, heart-broken land +It is inferior—for coffee—but it is pretty fair tea +It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing +It was warm. It was the warmest place I ever was in +Joshua +Journals so voluminously begun +Keg of these nails—of the true cross +Lean and mean old age +Man peculiarly and insufferably self-conceited: not seasick +Marks the exact centre of the earth +Nauseous adulation of princely patrons +Never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language +Never left any chance for newspaper controversies +Never uses a one-syllable word when he can think of a longer one +No satisfaction in being a Pope in those days +Not afraid of a million Bedouins +Not bring ourselves to think St John had two sets of ashes +Old Travelers +One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare +Only solitary thing one does not smell in Turkey +Oriental splendor! +Original first shoddy contract mentioned in history +Overflowing his banks +People talk so glibly of "feeling," "expression," "tone," +Perdition catch all the guides +Picture which one ought to see once—not oftener +Polite hotel waiter who isn't an idiot +Relic matter a little overdone? +Room to turn around in, but not to swing a cat +Saviour, who seems to be of little importance any where in Rome +Self-satisfied monarch, the railroad conductor of America +Sentimental praises of the Arab's idolatry of his horse +She assumes a crushing dignity +Shepherd's Hotel, which is the worst on earth +Smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining +Some people can not stand prosperity +Somewhat singular taste in the matter of relics +St Charles Borromeo, Bishop of Milan +St Helena, the mother of Constantine +Starving to death +Stirring times here for a while if the last trump should blow +Tahoe means grasshoppers. It means grasshopper soup +The information the ancients didn't have was very voluminous +The Last Supper +There was a good deal of sameness about it +They were like nearly all the Frenchwomen I ever saw—homely +They were seasick. And I was glad of it +Those delightful parrots who have "been here before" +To give birth to an idea +Toll the signal for the St Bartholomew's Massacre +Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness +Uncomplaining impoliteness +Under the charitable moon +Used fine tooth combs—successfully +Venitian visiting young ladies +Wandering Jew +Wasn't enough of it to make a pie +We all like to see people seasick when we are not, ourselves +Well provided with cigars and other necessaries of life +What's a fair wind for us is a head wind to them +Whichever one they get is the one they want +Who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months +Worth while to get tired out, because one so enjoys resting +</pre> +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="roughing"></a>ROUGHING IT</h2> + +<pre> + +Aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice +American saddle +Cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want +Children were clothed in nothing but sunshine +Contempt of Court on the part of a horse +Feared a great deal more than the almighty +Fertile in invention and elastic in conscience +Give one's watch a good long undisturbed spell +He was nearly lightnin' on superintending +He was one of the deadest men that ever lived +Hotel clerk who was crusty and disobliging +I had never seen lightning go like that horse +Juries composed of fools and rascals +List of things which we had seen and some other people had not +Man was not a liar he only missed it by the skin of his teeth +Most impossible reminiscences sound plausible +Native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance +Never knew there was a hell! +Nothing that glitters is gold +Profound respect for chastity—in other people +Scenery in California requires distance +Slept, if one might call such a condition by so strong a name +Useful information and entertaining nonsense +Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity +</pre> +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="gilded"></a>THE GILDED AGE</h2> + +<pre> + +Accidental murder resulting from justifiable insanity +Always trying to build a house by beginning at the top +Appropriation +Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society +Believed it; because she desired to believe it +Best intentions and the frailest resolution +Big babies with beards +Cheap sentiment and high and mighty dialogue +Conscious superiority +Does your doctor know any thing +Enjoy icebergs—as scenery but not as company +Erie RR: causeway of cracked rails and cows, to the West +Fever of speculation +Final resort of the disappointed of her sex, the lecture platform +Geographical habits +Get away and find a place where he could despise himself +Gossips were soon at work +Grand old benevolent National Asylum for the Helpless +Grief that is too deep to find help in moan or groan or outcry +Haughty humility +Having no factitious weight of dignity to carry +Imagination to help his memory +Invariably advised to settle—no matter how, but settle +Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage in his statements +Is this your first visit? +It had cost something to upholster these women +Large amount of money necessary to make a small hole +Later years brought their disenchanting wisdom +Let me take your grief and help you carry it +Life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death +Mail train which has never run over a cow +Meant no harm they only wanted to know +Money is most difficult to get when people need it most +Never sewed when she could avoid it. Bless her! +Nursed his woe and exalted it +Predominance of the imagination over the judgment +Question was asked and answered—in their eyes +Riches enough to be able to gratify reasonable desires +Road, which did not seem to know its own mind exactly +Sarcasms of fate +Sleep that heals all heart-aches and ends all sorrows +Small gossip stood a very poor chance +Sun bothers along over the Atlantic +Think a Congress of ours could convict the devil of anything +Titles never die in America +Too much grace and too little wine +Understood the virtues of "addition, division and silence" +Unlimited reliance upon human promises +Very pleasant man if you were not in his way +Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions +"We must create, a public opinion," said Senator Dilworthy +We'll make you think you never was at home before +We've all got to come to it at last, anyway! +Widened, and deepened, and straightened—(Public river Project) +Wished that she could see his sufferings now +Your absence when you are present +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="speeches"></a>MARK TWAIN'S SPEECHES</h2> + +<pre> + +A little pride always goes along with a teaspoonful of brains +Ain't any real difference between triplets and an insurrection +Chastity, you can carry it too far +Classic: everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read +Don't know anything and can't do anything +Dwell on the particulars with senile rapture +Future great historian is lying—and doubtless will continue to +Head is full of history, and some of it is true, too +Humor enlivens and enlightens his morality +I shall never be as dead again as I was then +If can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road: don't go +Kill a lot of poets for writing about "Beautiful Spring" +Live upon the property of their heirs so long +Morality is all the better for his humor +Morals: rather teach them than practice them any day +Never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why +Never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake +Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel +Please state what figure you hold him at—and return the basket +Principles is another name for prejudices +She bears our children—ours as a general thing +Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress +The Essex band done the best it could +Time-expired man, to use Kipling's military phrase +To exaggerate is the only way I can approximate to the truth +Two kinds of Christian morals, one private and the other public +What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? +When in doubt, tell the truth +Women always want to know what is going on +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="sketches"></a>SKETCHES NEW AND OLD</h2> + +<pre> + +A wood-fire is not a permanent thing +Accessory before the fact to his own murder +Aggregate to positive unhappiness +Always brought in 'not guilty' +Apocryphal was no slouch of a word, emanating from the source +Assertion is not proof +Early to bed and early to rise +I am useless and a nuisance, a cumberer of the earth +I never was so scared before and survived it +If I had sprung a leak now I had been lost +Just about cats enough for three apiece all around +Looked a look of vicious happiness +Lucid and unintoxicated intervals +No matter how absurd and unreasonable their demands +No public can withstand magnanimity +Not because I was afraid, but because I wanted to (go out the window) +Permanent reliable enemy +Science only needed a spoonful of supposition to build a mountain +State of mind bordering on impatience +Walking five miles to fish +Was a good deal annoyed when it appeared he was going to die +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="letters1"></a>TWAIN'S LETTERS V1 1835-1866</h2> + +<pre> + +A mighty national menace to sham +All talk and no cider +Condition my room is always in when you are not around +Deprived of the soothing consolation of swearing +Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it +Genius defies the laws of perspective +Hope deferred maketh the heart sick +I never greatly envied anybody but the dead +In the long analysis of the ages it is the truth that counts +Just about enough cats to go round +Moral bulwark reared against hypocrisy and superstition +The coveted estate of silence, time's only absolute gift +We went outside to keep from getting wet +What a pleasure there is in revenge! +When in doubt, tell the truth +When it is my turn, I don't +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="letters4"></a>TWAIN'S LETTERS V4 1886-1900</h2> + +<pre> + +And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55 +Argument against suicide +Conversationally being yelled at +Dead people who go through the motions of life +Die in the promptest kind of a way and no fooling around +Heroic endurance that resembles contentment +Honest men must be pretty scarce +I wonder how they can lie so. It comes of practice, no doubt +If this is going to be too much trouble to you +One should be gentle with the ignorant +Sunday is the only day that brings unbearable leisure +Symbol of the human race ought to be an ax +What a pity it is that one's adventures never happen! +</pre> +<br><br> +</blockquote> + + + + +<br><br> +<p>If you wish to read the entire context of any of these quotations, select a short segment and +copy it into your clipboard memory—then open the following eBook and paste the phrase +into your computer's find or search operation.</p> + +<h3> +<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/0/3200/3200.txt">The Complete Project Gutenberg Works of Mark Twain</a> +</h3> + +<br> +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> + +<p>These quotations were collected from the works of Mark Twain by +<a href="mailto:widger@cecomet.net">David Widger</a> while preparing etexts +for Project Gutenberg. Comments and suggestions will be most welcome.</p> + + +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> + + + + +<br> +<br> +<hr> +<br><br> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Quotes and Images From The Works of +Mark Twain, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN *** + +***** This file should be named 7556-h.htm or 7556-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.net/7/5/5/7556/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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