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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/75231-0.txt b/75231-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..981d7f9 --- /dev/null +++ b/75231-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6878 @@ + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75231 *** + +Transcriber's note: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed. + +[Illustration: Gentian. + _A Girl and Her Ways_ _Frontispiece_] + + + + A GIRL AND HER + WAYS + + BY + AMY LE FEUVRE + + + + WARD, LOCK & CO., LIMITED + LONDON AND MELBOURNE + + + + MADE IN ENGLAND + Printed In Great Britain by Butler & Tanner Ltd., Frome and London + + + + CONTENTS + +CHAP. + + I AN INVASION + + II THE YOUNG GUEST + + III THE HOUSE THAT WAS WAITING + + IV JIM PAGET + + V AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE + + VI A FRESH PROPOSITION + + VII A PRIVATE CHAUFFEUR + + VIII THE DAY IN THE NEW FOREST + + IX DARK CLOUDS + + X LEFT ALONE + + XI A VISIT TO CORNWALL + + XII THOROLD'S SECRET + + XIII A NEW FRIEND + + XIV "I WANT YOU" + + XV THEIR GOLDEN TIME + + + + A GIRL AND HER WAYS + +CHAPTER I + +AN INVASION + +HE sat back in his easy chair, pipe in mouth, and newspaper on his +knee. The lashing wind and rain outside added to his sense of comfort. +He was unassailable, he knew, from all unpleasant elements. A bright +wood fire burned on the open hearth. His room was lined with books, +for he was a book lover. Everything around him was for use and not for +ornament. Some oil portraits hung on the walls, members of the Holt +family; but there was no china, no flowers, and no signs of a woman's +hand and taste in his room. + +Thorold Holt was now nearer forty than thirty. He had a lean, sinewy +frame, his close-cropped dark head was already streaked with grey, and +at times there was a weary look about his grey eyes which belied his +habitual cheeriness. People who knew him best said that his sense of +humour was natural, but his cheeriness a manufactured article. He had +had a hard life, and found it difficult to believe that at last his +hard times were over. + +An interruption came now to his solitude. + +The door opened, and his one manservant appeared. + +"Two ladies to see you, sir. I have shown them into the drawing-room." + +"Oh these females!" muttered Thorold with real annoyance. "Even rain +doesn't keep them indoors. A begging appeal, I suppose." + +He knocked the ashes out of his pipe, and rose discontentedly from +his seat. He went out into a square hall, tiled in black and white +stone underfoot, and crossed it, entering into a very stiff and +stately-looking drawing-room, with early Victorian relics, besides some +really good bits of antique furniture. Two women sat awaiting him. One +he recognized as his rector's wife. He wondered she had not given her +name, but he had only met her once before. She addressed him promptly. + +"I must apologize for troubling you, but I think you will have to see +this good woman, Miss Ward by name. She arrived yesterday evening from +London, and as she came to the Rectory for advice, we gave her a bed, +and after hearing her story and sifting it well, my husband and I think +it only right to bring her straight to you." + +Thorold stared at the two women in complete bewilderment. + +"But who in the world is it?" he asked. "It isn't a long lost wife, for +I have never married, and I am morally certain that I have never set +eyes on Miss Ward before!" + +"Miss Ward was not aware of your late cousin's death, or that you were +in possession of his property," said Mrs. Gould, the rector's wife. + +"Oh, then her business was with him?" queried Thorold. + +Miss Ward for the first time looked up and spoke. She was a +plain-featured woman dressed in black, and spoke with a slight American +accent. + +"The death of Mr. Charles Holt has floored me," she said; "I was +counting on his help. God knows, it's badly needed." + +"Well, if it is his private affair, I would rather discuss it with you +privately. Come this way. Thank you, Mrs. Gould, for bringing her up. +We will not keep you." + +He knew he was treating his rector's wife badly; but he had already +suffered from her insatiable thirst for managing every person she came +across. And he did not intend that she should point out to him now +wherein his duty lay. + +Mrs. Gould rose from her seat with great annoyance. + +"I shall be glad to know in good time if you are going to put her up +here to-night; and perhaps you will be able to send down to the Rectory +for her luggage. We only took her in out of kindness last night. The +village inn is not a desirable place for a single woman." + +"It is all such a mystery to me that I can make no promises or plans at +present," said Thorold. + +And then he marched the stranger into his comfortable smoking-room, and +drew up a chair to the fire for her. + +"Now," he said, "tell me in as few words as you can, who you are, and +what your business is." + +"I was a maid of Mrs. Brendon's about eleven years ago, and then I +became her companion and nursed her when she died, and I loved her. +She was my best friend on earth, and I promised her to stick to her +child, and so I have, but all along since I came across the letter, Mr. +Charles Holt has been my goal and mainstay. And it has fairly knocked +me over to know he is dead and buried!" + +"Will you tell me, please, who Mrs. Brendon was and what connection she +was of my cousin?" + +"I reckon she was a cousin like yourself; and a little more too, +judging from this letter, which I'd best show you." + +She produced a letter from her pocket which she handed to Thorold, and +he stood leaning his back against the mantelpiece, whilst he read it. + + "MY DEAR LENA,— + + "I have heard that you and your little one have made your home in +Capri. Well, I am glad to think of you in that sweet setting and +perhaps after the stormy turbulence of your young life, you may find +your widowhood a period of peace and rest. I should not think you were +troubled with superfluous cash, so will you let me defray the cost of +my god-daughter's education? I should like to see her one day. I am a +lonely man with few kith or kin, as you know, and I want to make her +acquaintance. Send her over to me if you ever want to get rid of her. +If she is anything like the wild slip of girl her mother was, she will +enliven my solitude, and at my death she will benefit. + + "Your never-forgetting cousin, + + "CHARLES HOLT." + +Thorold read this through more than once. Then he looked up. + +"Did Mrs. Brendon answer this letter?" + +"No, she told me she was not going to part with her child; and if she +responded to Mr. Holt's advances, he would expect her to marry him, and +that she could never do." + +"Then, having made her choice, and keeping her child, why do you come +to me and produce this letter? Mr. Holt left his money elsewhere. The +child has lost her chance." + +The woman looked at him miserably. + +"What can I do?" she asked. "I haven't the money to keep her. She's +too young to keep herself. She's just a child. And I came to see Mr. +Charles Holt. I did not know he was dead." + +"Surely Mrs. Brendon left some money?" + +"She had a pension only, which stopped at her death. Colonel Brendon +saved nothing. Mrs. Brendon and I used to help out with fine sewing. +The nuns at the convent used to give us some to do." + +Thorold shrugged his shoulders. + +"I am not a rich man. I can't spare a separate income for this young +girl. Why should I? She is no relation of mine." + +"A cousin's cousin," the stranger murmured. "If she had come over in +Mr. Holt's lifetime, she would have been his heiress." + +"Where is she now?" asked Thorold abruptly. + +"Goodness only knows," was the unexpected answer. "Most likely rowing +down the Thames, or going over to Paris in an airship, or wandering +round Stonehenge in the dark—anywhere but where I left her, and where +she ought to be—in quiet lodgings in the Euston Road. She's out to see +England, she says, and she means to do it, though she's penniless." + +"Then the sooner you get back to her the better. Don't look so +desperate. I'll think things over, and run up to town in a few days, +and see you. Give me your address. If the girl is old enough to earn +her own living, we may perhaps find a job for her. Girls find it easier +to work now, than in the old days." + +"Thank you. If you don't help us, I don't know who will. I think I'll +be getting back to the Rectory, and leave by the first train in the +morning." + +He let her go, but his peace of mind was gone. He paced his room +restlessly, and sleep forsook him that night. The next morning he rode +over to a country house about ten miles away, and walked in unannounced. + +But two ladies had seen his approach from a window, and discussed him +pretty freely before he arrived. + +"Who is this riding up the drive, Lallie?" + +"I don't know. Yes I do! It is Thorold Holt. What on earth does he +want so early in the morning! You remember the Holts? Charles died six +months ago. We were boys and girls together. Thorold was a great chum +of mine when I was small. He used to stay over at the Manor a good +deal. His father was a judge and widower. He married again, and was +killed with his second wife in a railway smash in Italy. She was an +extravagant girl, and left three small boys. There were so many debts +that the children were in a bad way. + +"Thorold was a trump. He took charge of his small stepbrothers from +the time he left school. Gave up the Army as a calling on which he +had set his heart, and got a post in the city in some business firm +where he toiled early and late to make money for the boys' schooling. +They were young scamps, and the scrapes he pulled them out of, would +make your hair stand on end! He put one in the Navy, the other in the +Army, and the third went out to a tea plantation in India. He only got +the last of them off his hands a year ago, and they cost him a pretty +penny between them I can tell you! Couldn't marry because of them—so he +always says, and now he's given up the idea. I believe he was smitten +once by a girl who waited two years and then married some one else. +Thorold has never had a life of his own. He was three years at the +War and got badly wounded, but is nearly well now. He's a cheerful +philosopher, and does me good when I'm in the blues. Don't go. I want +you to know him." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe, the mistress of the house, a bright, smiling young +woman, turned to greet Thorold as he entered the room. + +"Vera, this is Mr. Thorold Holt. He's at the Manor now, over at +Crowhurst. You haven't met Vera before, Thorold. She's an old school +friend of mine, and is taking pity on my loneliness while Frank is +away." + +Thorold made his greetings, then took up his position on the hearthrug, +and looked at Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a whimsical smile. + +"Whenever disaster comes my way I always say to myself, 'It is not good +that man should be alone,' and haste away to you." + +"What is it now? One of those boys again?" + +Vera Harrington had discreetly slipped out of the room. + +"A strange female was brought to me yesterday afternoon by Mrs. Gould. +She's got a child—a girl who's a connection of Charles. You remember +Lena Foster? a cousin on his mother's side whom he was wildly in love +with all his life. It's her daughter. Lena is dead, and this good woman +considers the girl should be enjoying the Manor, with its income, +instead of me." + +"How preposterous and absurd! Lena treated Charles shamefully. She +spoilt his life. And I was glad when her husband treated her as she had +treated others." + +"Oh, how hard you women are!" + +He proceeded to give her further details. Told her of the contents of +the letter, and then with raised eyebrows, said: + +"And now having fitted out three young men for life, am I to begin over +again, and take in hand a young woman?" + +"It's ridiculous! She has no possible claim upon you, of course." + +"Not legally." + +"But morally, I suppose you are going to say! Thorold, I should like +to shake you. Your conscience is swelled out like a big balloon! It's +too big for your body altogether. Why will you take such delight in +sacrificing yourself! Wasn't it last week you were telling me you +hardly know how to live at the Manor? You've put down half the staff +and economized in every way. How can you afford to adopt a penniless +girl? Besides it wouldn't be proper. What's her age?" + +"Haven't an idea—something between fifteen and twenty, I suppose. She +would have to go to school." + +"Not if she's over twenty. What a Don Quixote you are! Hadn't her +father any relations?" + +"This female says she's penniless and friendless." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at him perplexedly and he laughed. + +"We are sent into the world to help each other, aren't we?" he said. +"I'm going to inspect her to-morrow. Shall run up to town for a couple +of days. But I'm scared of young women. Wouldn't you like to come with +me?" + +"Now, Thorold, what on earth can you do with her? You go straight home +and smoke your pipe. I will go up, and inspect her and report to you." + +He shook his head. + +"Can't trust you. I assure you I won't fall in love with her, or marry +her." + +"But don't you see that you can't provide for her? That sort of thing +isn't done. She's either a designing minx or an innocent babe. Either +way, she's dangerous to a simple—" + +"Fool," put in Thorold. + +"Well, I think you are a bit of one sometimes." + +"We'll go up together by the ten express," said Thorold firmly, "and if +she's old enough and strong enough to earn her own living, we'll find +something for her." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe laughed at him. + +"You sound so wise; but it's not so easy, my dear Thorold, to find work +for young women nowadays. Remember the thousands of unemployed men. And +I hold with giving them the first chance." + +"Will you meet me at the station to-morrow?" + +"I suppose I shall. You mustn't go up to town alone." + + +And so it came to pass that the following day found them both in the +Paddington express. They reached the dingy lodging-house in the Euston +Road, and were told by a good-natured, stout landlady, that Miss Ward +was out, and the young lady in. + +They were shown upstairs into a shabby sitting-room with folding doors. +Nobody was there, but upon the round table was an exquisite bunch of +white narcissus and pink hyacinths, the fragrance of which scented the +room. A moment later, and the folding doors opened. + +A young girl stood gravely regarding them, one hand resting on the door +handle, the other half extended to greet them. Mrs. Wharnecliffe caught +her breath as she looked at her. She understood at once Miss Ward's +anxiety concerning her. A slender slip of a girl she was, dressed +in a rich blue woollen gown, which matched her eyes in intensity of +colour. A string of turquoise beads hung round her neck nearly reaching +her waist. She had a pale oval face with rather a pointed chin, and +delicate features. Soft, reddish-brown hair fell softly over her broad +low brow, and was gathered in a loose knot behind. Her blue eyes were +fringed with very dark curling lashes, her mouth had sad curves at +the corners. She was a picture of pathetic appealing youth, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe whispered under her breath: + +"What a darling child!" + +For an instant no one spoke, then the girl broke the silence. + +"How kind of you to come. I guess you are relations of Mr. Holt's. Miss +Ward has told me of her fruitless journey to his house. Please sit +down." + +Nothing could have exceeded the gravity of her manner. She seated +herself lightly on the arm of an old horsehair couch opposite them, and +slightly swung one slender foot to and fro. Mrs. Wharnecliffe began to +feel less at ease than the girl herself. + +"I have come up to talk things over with you," said Thorold, clearing +his throat. + +"What kind of things?" asked the girl softly. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked sharply across at her. + +The grave intense blue eyes were now quivering with mirth. The woman of +the world intervened quickly. She was not going to sit silent, and see +her quixotic friend baited for a girl's amusement. + +"Mr. Holt has very kindly come up to see if he can help you in any way +to make plans for the future. We hear you are very badly off, and your +friend was bitterly disappointed to find that the one she relied upon +to help you is dead. Both Mr. Holt and I knew your mother long ago, and +we want to befriend her daughter." + +A faint rose colour came to the pale cheeks of the girl. She drew up +her small head in a very haughty fashion, and all mirth died away. + +"Miss Ward brought the disappointment upon herself alone. It was +against my wish she went to beg. I am making my own plans for the +future and require no help from strangers, however kind." + +Thorold was about to speak, when Mrs. Wharnecliffe forestalled him. + +"That is good from your point of view. I wonder what you intend to do?" + +The girl did not appear to resent this question; she stopped swinging +her foot, and clasping her hands lightly in front of her looked +dreamily out of the window opposite her, across the chimney tops into +the grey murky sky. + +"It is a choice between two investments," she said in her still +grave tone. "I should prefer to live my life above the world. But an +aeroplane might not be so paying as a car. And I know less about it. I +have driven a car in Italy. Yesterday I had a lesson in driving through +the city, but my instructor practically told me that I had little to +learn. You see, my nerves are strong and steady, and I have no fear in +me. I never had. I should think a livelihood could be got easily in any +big town by motoring passengers to and from stations, and taking them +on any tour round. Miss Ward does not want me to sink all the capital I +have in a venture. But I am perfectly certain in my own mind as to the +success of it." + +"It's a ridiculous, preposterous idea!" spluttered out Thorold +impulsively. "No wonder Miss Ward does not approve of it." + +The sparkle came back to the girl's eyes, and her lips smiled. + +"I was told I would find English men and women working shoulder to +shoulder and doing the same jobs everywhere. Is it not so? Are there +still some of the old-fashioned sort left? Are you one of them? Why is +it so preposterous and ridiculous?" + +And then Thorold gave one of his hearty laughs, and for an instant the +girl looked at him with quickened interest. + +"Because you know nothing of life, my dear child, and very little of +men and women, I should say. How old are you? You do not look more than +sixteen." + +"I am two-and-twenty, and Italy is not a cannibal island. I have met +English people out there by scores, as well as Americans and every +nationality under the sun. I left school nearly five years ago. In five +years one grows fast and learns much." + +"Have you any friends in England?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"Ask Miss Ward. Here she is to speak for herself." + +The door opened and Miss Ward appeared. + +Thorold rose to his feet and introduced her to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +said at once: + +"We came up to town to see if we could befriend Miss Brendon; but she +will have none of us!" + +"Oh Gentian!" + +"Oh Waddy!" mimicked the girl pulling down her lips, and bringing a +piteous look into her blue eyes. "Now sit down and declare on whose +side you are! Mine, or theirs." + +Miss Ward seated herself irresolutely upon the edge of the old couch. + +"I am afraid we have come on a fruitless errand," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe. "It seems that your young charge here has mapped out her +future to her own satisfaction, and wants no interference." + +"Her future!" exclaimed Miss Ward miserably. "It will be the workhouse." + +"Oh no," retorted Gentian quickly; "there is unemployment pay, you +know; but that will be unnecessary as long as my hands and feet and +nerve are sound." + +"Oh, I beseech you," said Miss Ward, turning suddenly to Thorold, who +was sitting back looking on with amused eyes, "don't forsake us. If you +will be a friend to us, I will be everlastingly grateful." + +"Well, how can I serve you best?" he asked gravely and earnestly. + +"By having a long talk with me," she said promptly. + +And then Gentian rose to her feet, and put one slim hand on Mrs. +Wharnecliffe's arm. + +"Let us leave them," she said; "will you come this way?" + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE YOUNG GUEST + +SHE led her into the back room which, to Mrs. Wharnecliffe's surprise, +was as dainty and pretty a room as the other was dingy. The bed in +the corner was covered with a striped silk rug, and great blue satin +cushions were piled upon it. A piano was in a corner of the room, and +open music was on it. Pretty watercolour sketches were pinned upon the +walls, a Persian rug was underfoot, and flowers seemed to be everywhere. + +"Yes, this is my room, where I live," said Gentian. + +Her tones were soft now; she placed Mrs. Wharnecliffe in an easy chair; +then took a stool near her, and looked up at her with a pathetic smile. + +"Now I can talk. That grim-faced man with his critical eyes is away. +You are a stranger, but you have a heart. I see it in your eyes. What +is it you want me to do? I cannot and will not accept charity from +strangers. Anything but that I will do my best to comply with. You see, +do you not, that I must earn money, and earn it quickly before we come +to starvation?" + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe's eyes strayed to the piano. + +"You love music?" she asked. + +Gentian's blue eyes almost flashed fire. + +"I adore it! I have wept cauldrons because I cannot sing; but at the +convent school I played the big organ in the chapel, and was at peace." + +"And what else can you do?" + +"Drive cars." + +Mischief lurked in the blue eyes again. + +"Yes, dear, but that would be a perilous and uncertain occupation, +whereas music has many delightful possibilities. Will you play to me?" + +"Oh, I don't know that I'm in the mood for music now." + +But she moved across to the piano, for a moment gazing into space, then +dropping her fingers upon the keys, began playing. Her music was so +soft, so weird, so unutterably sad, that after listening for nearly ten +minutes, Mrs. Wharnecliffe begged her to stop. + +"You will make me so depressed that you will soon reduce me to tears. +What a strange child you are." + +Gentian twisted herself round on the music-stool, and faced her visitor +with grave, earnest eyes. + +"Well, I ought to be sad," she said; "I am alone in a strange country +without a relation in the world—and my only friend goes to beg from +strangers for me, and they come to try to darken the only gleam of +light in my horizon. Not a cheerful outlook is it?" + +"But what is your gleam of light?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe, puzzled at +this girl's quick change of mood. + +"Raking in pound notes by the score from driving my taxi!" replied +Gentian with a laugh so sunny and infectious that Mrs. Wharnecliffe +smiled. + +"You have a wonderful gift for music," she said; "you show it in your +touch." + +"But music is too sacred a subject with me to be bartered for sordid +money," said Gentian growing grave once more. "Oh, I know I must have +money to live. Waddy has saved, and can keep herself. I must learn +to do the same. There was £500 in the bank after mother left me—her +savings—the only thing she could leave me. I am getting through the +first hundred now. You see, it is necessary for me to start working at +once." + +"And where do you mean to live?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe, humouring her. + +"Not in London; I want to live away from houses and people—and yet I +must be in touch with them. And I want to see and know England from end +to end, as I know Italy." + +"Will you come and stay with me till your plans are settled? I live +in the country—in such a pretty part, and we are only an hour from +town—very little more." + +Gentian did not answer for a moment, then she said, "Do you live with +Mr. Holt? Are you a relation of his?" + +"Oh dear no, we are like brother and sister, we have known each other +all our lives; but I live with my husband, who is a busy Member of +Parliament. And we are hardly ever in town; we both prefer the country." + +"Thank you very much. I will talk to Waddy about it. I think I should +like to stay with you, if you will promise not to try to manage me—I +think we had better go back to the others. I do not know what plots +they may be hatching." + +She stepped lightly across the room and opened the door. Mrs. +Wharnecliffe followed her, wondering at the impulse that had made her +offer this strange girl a temporary home. + +Miss Ward and Thorold were still talking. The latter got up from his +chair with rather a satisfied smile upon his face. Mrs. Wharnecliffe at +once repeated her invitation, including Miss Ward, but that good lady +shook her head. + +"I should like to see a married sister of mine in Wiltshire. If you +could have Gentian for a week or so, I should be very glad." + +Gentian laughed gleefully, and her laughter was that of a happy +irresponsible child. + +"And that means, Waddy, that you hope a week or so in a grave, +well-ordered, conventional English house, with some kind and sound +common-sense drilled into me every day, will send me back to you in +an amenable frame of mind. But you are very rash in resigning your +precious charge into the hands of utter strangers. Why do you believe +in them more than you believe in me?" + +"I suppose," said Thorold dryly, "it is our grey hairs. I have a good +many. It's an extraordinary thing, but when you get a few years older, +you will actually place more reliance in the wisdom of the experienced +than in the very young." + +Gentian looked at him for the first time with interest. + +"I should like to have a talk with you," she said; "I have had one with +your friend, and Waddy has had her innings with you. It is my turn now." + +Thorold turned to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"Don't you think we might go out to lunch somewhere? then we could +become further acquainted with Miss Brendon." + +There was some discussion. Finally Miss Ward elected to remain at home +and Gentian accompanied her new friends to a quiet and comfortable +little restaurant not very far away. She slipped into a fur coat, with +a smart little blue velvet toque, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe again assured +herself that she was dangerously attractive. + +"I am a kind of cousin," said Thorold as he walked by her side. "I +think it would be better and easier for us all if you were to consider +me as such." + +"And what do cousins do?" she asked mischievously. "I suppose they call +each other by their Christian names. You can call me Gentian, what +shall I call you?" + +"Cousin Thorold," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe quietly. + +Gentian's blue eyes turned to her. + +"You are afraid that Thorold will be too familiar? I must put the +cousin before it to show my respect and veneration." + +"Oh, that is all immaterial," said Thorold, a slight impatience in his +tone. "But being cousins, I am a relation, and so bound to look after +you a little. And as I understand from Miss Ward the peculiarity of +your circumstances, I shall do as she wants me to do, and regard you as +a trust handed on by your godfather with all his other earthly goods +and chattels." + +Gentian's blue eyes opened their widest. + +"So I'm a chattel, like his tables and chairs and books? Oh, thank you +so very much. I should like to know what you intend to do with me." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe left Gentian's other side, to administer a quiet +pinch to Thorold. As they were crossing a wide thoroughfare it was not +noticed, though Thorold rubbed his arm a little ruefully. He understood +the signal, and knew he was not to proceed quite so quickly. + +"Oh," he responded carelessly, "I mean to take a fatherly interest in +you. I can spread out certain plans for your future, for your refusal +or acceptance. And you can use me as a buffer when occasion requires. A +cousin in the background of a certain standing and respectability, is +an important asset sometimes." + +Gentian was silent, then as they came to the restaurant, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe led the way, she turned back towards Thorold. + +"I might use you," she said slowly and thoughtfully, "till Mr. +Paget—comes to England." + +"And who is he?" + +"The man who wants to marry me." + +Then she followed Mrs. Wharnecliffe in without another word. + +And Thorold did not know whether he felt relieved by her announcement +or not. Relieved, he decided after a few minutes' reflection, for his +guardianship might prove to be of very short duration. + +Gentian now turned her attention to other things. She was full of +interest in her surroundings; commented on the people around her, +and asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe a hundred questions about London and its +pleasures. + +"I am tired of people and cities myself," she said; "but if you have to +earn your livelihood as I mean to earn mine, you are dependent on them +to support you. If I come to stay with you for a week or two, may I +bring my car down? Have you one of your own?" + +"We have, but you do not mean to say that you have bought one already?" + +She nodded. + +"I did it yesterday. At least I made up my mind which one I would have, +and I am taking a few trial trips with it. They send an experienced man +with you, so there is no fear. It is not a Ford, but one of these new +American ones. The Americans are more up-to-date and less expensive +than the British. I want Waddy to come with me to-morrow. I am going to +run down to Richmond and back. I have never seen Richmond Park." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at Thorold in a helpless fashion. + +"Has Miss Ward seen this purchase of yours?" he asked. + +"No. She's not much good in choosing cars." + +"And may we ask the cost of it?" Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked. + +"It will clear me out," she replied frankly; "but then, you see, it's +like purchasing a business. I shall make the price of it over and over +again. It's an investment. I know a lot about investments. I have heard +men talk and I've made them explain it to me. I reckon this will return +me 10 per cent. for my money. That's all right, isn't it?" + +She looked so childish as she talked, that Mrs. Wharnecliffe could only +smile at her. But Thorold seemed bent on asserting his authority. + +"I should like to have a look at it," he said. "I know something about +cars. Shall we go and see it now after lunch? We shall have time." + +For a moment a frown settled over Gentian's bright face. Then she said +with dignity: + +"You may come and see it, if you say nothing. I don't want you to be +countermanding my order, but you would not be so discourteous as that." + +So after lunch, they took a taxi to the city, and when Thorold saw the +contemplated purchase, he found to his surprise that he could find no +fault with it. He had a talk with the head of the firm, and then they +all returned to the Gower Street lodgings. But on the way there, he +said gravely to Gentian: + +"This is a very risky venture of yours. We don't want to throw water +on your hopes, or prevent you from earning your livelihood, but will +you let the final decision about it be postponed for a month from +this date? Come down into the country and see what English country is +like—Mrs. Wharnecliffe has invited you to be her guest." + +"If my car doesn't come with me, I don't come," said Gentian with great +determination. + +"Then have it on trial. It may not prove a good one." + +"I might do that." + +And so a compromise was made, and an hour later Mrs. Wharnecliffe and +Thorold were in the train for home, almost too bewildered by Gentian's +personality to discuss her. + +They felt that they and any others would be only ciphers in her life. + +And Thorold said with a little laugh when he parted from Mrs. +Wharnecliffe: + +"She seems to have come into our life like a whirlwind and taken root +at once. You know that neither of us need have anything to do with her." + +"I foresee trouble ahead for you," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile +and a little sigh; "because you will make other people's business your +own. You always have." + +"The prospective husband will come along." + +"Oh, I don't believe in him—Miss Ward would have mentioned him had +there been anything in it." + +"Miss Ward is kept in the dark a good deal." + +"Yes—well—the girl is coming to me next week, and I'll see what I can +do with her. I'm really enjoying the prospect. She's so ridiculously +young and fresh, and so world-old in her own opinion." + +Gentian arrived at Oakberry Hall towards the end of a bright April +afternoon. The gardens in front of the house were a blaze of colour. +Daffodils, hyacinths, narcissus, and tulips were all in their prime. +Mrs. Wharnecliffe had had a wire in the middle of the day to say that +Gentian was coming down by road. And about five o'clock, a light, +fawn-coloured car rolled up the drive. Gentian was driving it, and +was absolutely alone. Two neat suitcases and a hat-box were in the +tonneau behind. She wore a close-fitting little brown-leather cap, +and a leather coat, which she shed in the hall, and she stepped into +the drawing-room looking as fresh and dainty as if she had only just +dressed for her journey. + +"She's a little beauty. We've had no hitch, and I only went a couple of +miles out of my way. You've very good roads from town. I've christened +her 'Mousie.' I chose that colour because she doesn't show the dust. +Have you a chauffeur? Will he look after her?" + +"Yes, he will do all that's necessary. Come and have some tea. I'm +alone to-day. My husband will be very late home from town. So we'll +have a tête-à-tête dinner." + +"And Cousin Thorold—I don't forget the 'cousin' you see—will not be +here. I'm so glad. He's a little too interfering—means well, I dare +say. I passed Winderball coming here, your nearest town, isn't it? +I liked the look of it. It's quite big. I wonder if I could find an +opening there. I should not mind settling near you, if you would leave +me alone—I like you—no one could help liking you—you're so—so motherly." + +She was sitting on a low chair close to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and just for +a moment she laid a slender hand on that lady's arm. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe's eyes grew misty. She thought of two small graves +in the country churchyard close by. She had only had five years of +motherliness, and then boy and girl had both left her in a virulent +attack of scarlet fever. + +Gentian went on talking: + +"Waddy has gone off to her sister. Isn't it strange how perfectly +she trusts you? Before we came home, I had five or six different +invitations in Italy, and she would let me accept none of them. There +was the old Contessa De Nienti, she wanted me to stay with her, but +Waddy said her only friends were men of doubtful reputation, and her +house was not a fit one for a young girl. And one or two of my men +friends wanted me to go and stay with their people, and there was a +Mother Superior in the convent near. She wanted me as a guest, but +Waddy would have none of them. I suppose it is because you're so +English, and your home is an English one, like the story-books! Oh, it +is sweet to-day! I think I shall be very happy here." + +She paused, then added with twinkling eyes: + +"I and Mousie—we shall enjoy ourselves. But you will not spoil me. I +mean to be a working woman, a hard-working woman, and I must train +for it. Out in all weathers—they say you have torrents of rain +perpetually—and up early and many hours without food. I have thought it +all out." + +"You are not fit to rough it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, glancing at +the slim, delicate-looking girl with perplexed eyes. "If you had an +accident to your car, on a lonely road, what could you do?" + +"A good deal. If it was a burst tyre, I could replace it; if the engine +was too hot, I would cool it. If there were any strain or breakage of +any part of the engine or valves, I would make for the nearest garage. +I understand the making of the car. And I'm wiry and strong as iron—ask +Waddy. I love machinery. If I had been a boy, I should have been a +civil engineer." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe let her talk on all about herself. She wanted to get +at the girl's mind. Every now and then she astonished her. + +After tea she went out to the garage to speak to the chauffeur about +her car, then she was taken to her room by her hostess, and she stayed +there enjoying the dainty comfort of her surroundings till the dinner +gong sounded. + +There was no lack of conversation during the meal. Gentian talked +amusingly about her first arrival in England and Mrs. Wharnecliffe +proved herself a sympathetic listener. When it was over they went back +to the drawing-room and at her hostess' request the girl went to the +piano and began playing so softly and sweetly in the dusky twilight, +that Mrs. Wharnecliffe was charmed. + +"Oh," she said, "you ought to do something with your music. I should +like you to come over one day to a blind friend of mine. He is a great +musician and has an organ in his hall which he plays himself. I should +like you to know him. Anyone can drive a car, but it is not every one +who can play as you do." + +"The Mother Superior wanted me to be their organist. They had such a +lovely organ in their chapel, but though I went to a convent school, I +never became a Roman Catholic. It does not appeal to me. Waddy says I +have too modern a mind. I don't like anybody between me and God." + +She spoke in a hushed voice. + +"My little mother was not religious," she went on in that low voice; +"not till she grew ill, and then she became frightened, and thought she +had better turn, and have a priest. But I said 'No,' there was comfort +and direction to be got out of the Bible, Waddy had always told me +so, so I got it, and hunted about, and found out the most beautiful +passages! They made me long to be on my sick-bed getting near the Gates +of Paradise. And I read and read, and then I went to church to pray +for her, and then I came back and found I could pray in her room, and +we read and prayed, and prayed and read, till she was quite happy. She +asked me to put over her grave: + + "'Unto Him Who loved us and washed us from our sins in His Own Blood.' + +"That was how she went to Paradise with those words upon her lips. I +think no Roman Catholic could have died more happily." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at her with soft sympathetic eyes. + +"You'll be a happy girl, if you have a happy religion. I believe +Christianity is meant to be so." + +Then Gentian gave her soft little laugh. + +"Waddy says it is not good to be always happy; there is a side of us +which remains uncultivated—a waste bit of ground, but when one loses +one's mother, one goes through enough anguish to last a lifetime. I +think if I may, I will go to bed now. I am rather tired." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe accompanied her upstairs, saw that she had every +comfort for the night, then came down and sat in deep thought before +the blazing fire awaiting her husband's return. + +He rallied her a little upon her extreme quietness. + +"Your new charge's responsibility has a depressing effect perhaps?" he +queried after he had come in and told her all his news. + +"No—not depressing," was the quick reply; "but I'm wondering if trouble +has been to my advantage or otherwise. I've lived very carelessly, +Frank. Gentian has a deeper nature than I imagined. I'm intensely +interested in her." + +Then she relapsed into her usual gay tone, and did not mention Gentian +again that night. + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE HOUSE THAT WAS WAITING + +GENTIAN came to the breakfast table the next morning looking the +embodiment of spring. She showed her enjoyment of her surroundings in a +very fresh and unconventional fashion. + +"English people are so sociable," she said; "my mother often told me +so. They do not eat their breakfast alone in their rooms, and think +over their mistakes, and sins of yesterday, but they come together and +plan their day out as we are doing now. Oh, it is all delicious. This +is how I should like to live, but it takes money to do it, does it not? +These lovely flowers and the garden of flowers up to the windows, and +the glass and the silver, and the well-laid table. Waddy and I could +never have this, never, never!" + +"I thought you were going to make your fortune," said Mr. Wharnecliffe +with a good-natured smile. + +"Yes, I hope I am. Will you let me drive you to the station this +morning in my car? You will see then that I am an experienced driver. +And I want you to test my car, and tell me if you think it is a +comfortable one." + +For an instant husband's and wife's eyes met across the table, then +Mrs. Wharnecliffe said: + +"Let her do it, Frank. We'll tell Munn he will not be needed." + +Gentian was delighted. She drove her host to the station an hour later, +and he found no fault with her driving, or with her car. Yet he, as +well as his wife, expressed disapproval of her taking it up as a +profession. + +"I would not let a daughter of my own do it on any consideration," he +told her. + +"But if you and your wife were taken to the other world, and your +daughter left alone with no money and no home, would not that alter the +case?" + +"No, I should never rest in my grave if I knew that a young girl was +being exposed to such a difficult and dangerous life." + +Gentian was silent. She did not come straight home after she had left +the station. She picked up two old women trudging along the dusty +road with heavy baskets of eggs which they were carrying to market in +Winderball, and she drove them to their destination; then she explored +the country on the farther side of the town, and coming back, bought a +motor map of the county. + +When she arrived at the Hall, she found Mrs. Wharnecliffe in the garden +giving directions to her gardener. They walked through the garden +together, Gentian giving an account of her drive. + +"I am going to take you to have tea with Thorold this afternoon," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe presently. "He has invited us." + +Gentian looked at her with laughing eyes but with screwed-up lips. + +"He must leave me alone whilst I am your guest," she said; "I feel he +will try to manage me, if I get to know him well. I suppose men can't +help that assertive manner in dealing with women." + +"Thorold is a dear," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe quickly; "you must not +abuse him to me. He is one of the most unselfish men on the face of the +earth, and it is only lately that he has had any leisure or comfort. He +has toiled early and late to support three young stepbrothers, and he +was very badly off before his cousin died." + +"Then if he has known poverty, he ought to sympathize with me." + +"Does he not?" + +Gentian turned aside to pick up a fallen rose, for Mrs. Wharnecliffe +was gathering some roses as she talked. + +"He looks a good man," the girl said after a short silence. "I won't +discuss him any more." + +She was full of interest when they motored over to Crowhurst Manor, +comparing the English country with Italy and telling Mrs. Wharnecliffe +many of her experiences there. + +When they drove up the chestnut avenue that led to the Manor, and +stopped before the old grey house with its ancient tiled roof and +mullioned windows, Gentian expressed her admiration. She looked +curiously about her as they entered the old square hall, and were +ushered into the smoking-room and library where Thorold usually sat. +Tea was spread on an oval table by the fire, which was an open one, and +the blazing logs shed a bright glow on the silver tea service. Thorold +came forward to greet them. + +"And this was my cousin's home," were Gentian's first words. Her face +was grave as she spoke. Thorold looked at her. + +"Are you sorry you did not come here in his life time?" he asked her. + +"Certainly not. He was a stranger to me. Why should I leave my mother +to go to a stranger?" + +"Now, Gentian," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe lightly: "we are here to enjoy +ourselves, so we won't rake up the past. Shall I pour out tea for you, +Thorold? I generally do, don't I?" + +She sat down to the table and made light conversation; for she did not +want any sparring matches just now. Gentian relapsed into rather a +pensive mood, but after tea she wandered up to the bookshelves. + +"Would you like to borrow a book?" asked Thorold. "I have all sorts and +conditions as you see. Some of them are the best friends I have." + +Gentian's eyes glistened as she took one and another out of their +shelves to look at. With a little nod of approval she said: + +"Ah yes, when I am very miserable, very lonely; when I have made Waddy +weep, and feel it's an empty world I live in, I creep inside a book, +and stay there till I'm happy again. I would like this life of a hunter +in the Himalayas; may I take it?" + +"Yes, do, only don't wait till you are miserable to read it. And now +I want to show you my garden, and then I'm going to take you into the +small church close by. It's a little gem of the fifteenth century and +has a most wonderful screen." + +They wandered out into an old-fashioned sunk garden laid out in rather +the Dutch style. Gentian did not like it, and frankly said so. + +"Poor little bulbs, what freedom and individuality have they? All in +rows and circles, the red together and then the yellows and then the +blues! How sick they must get of each other! How they must long to get +away alone and grow their own lives as they like. When I get rich—and +I mean to one day—I shall have a garden where each flower will feel +it is an individual personality. I won't have masses of the same sort +all together—so monotonous and tame it must be for them! Ah! This is +better." + +She was standing in the rock garden, and in every cleft of the rocks +different plants were blooming. + +"You're a rebel by nature," said Thorold pleasantly; "that's the way +with a good many nowadays. Every one wants to grow as he likes." + +"No, no. But we can have a corner to ourselves and not have every idea +quenched." + +They walked across the old lawn under some ancient cedars, and then +went down a path in a shrubbery until they reached the road by a +private gate. Only a few steps down the road brought them to the little +church. It lay in the midst of trees, the churchyard was beautifully +kept and borders of spring flowers were on each side of the path, which +led up to the church door. The door was not locked, and they went in +quietly. + +Gentian caught her breath as she looked about her, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe saw her blue eyes get soft and dreamy. All her quick +independent bearing seemed to forsake her; and she listened to +Thorold's account of the old carved screen, and the beautiful mellow +coloured windows, with quiet, pensive face. + +"Would you like to try the organ?" he asked her. "I will blow for you." + +For a moment she hesitated. + +"It's a very beautiful one, though small," he said; "your cousin +Charles had a great affection for this little church; he spent a good +bit of money on it. Everything is of the best in it, as you see." + +She moved towards the organ without another word. Mrs. Wharnecliffe sat +down just inside the porch and waited. She knew she was going to have +a treat, and when once Gentian's hands were upon the keys, she was not +in a hurry to take them off. Her music absorbed her; she played without +notes, and Thorold heard in wonder; he did not know she was such a +musician. She played from memory; a medley; bits of Mozart, Chopin, and +Bach. Then very softly and sweetly she began to improvise, and time and +surroundings faded right away from her. She started when at last Mrs. +Wharnecliffe touched her elbow. + +"Your blower will be getting tired. You have been playing for over half +an hour." + +"Oh, it has been heavenly." + +Her cheeks were flushed and eyes bright, but she slipped off the organ +stool at once, and thanked Thorold very prettily when he joined them +again. + +"It's a good instrument," he said. + +"Yes, almost as good as the convent one." + +"And now I want you to come along the road a little farther," Thorold +said. + +He and Mrs. Wharnecliffe walked out of the church together, but Gentian +lingered behind, and when he turned he saw her kneeling in the aisle, +her head buried in her hands. + +She caught them up a few minutes later. Her face was perfectly radiant. + +"I like your organ and your church better than your house and your +books," she said. + +He smiled at her. + +"It's safer," he said. + +She hardly heard him. + +"What a darling sweet little house," she said, stopping suddenly before +a small green wooden gate, and looking up a tiled path edged by box +borders, to a quaint low grey stone house with broad windows, red +japonica and yellow jasmine climbing up its walls. + +"This used to be the Vicarage," he said, "and was in your cousin's +gift; but since his death, Crowhurst has been joined to the next parish +where our rector lives, and I let this furnished. We lost our tenants a +couple of months ago. Would you like to come inside? I have the key." + +"I think it's one of the cosiest houses I've ever seen," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe enthusiastically; "and it has an oak staircase nearly two +hundred years old, Gentian. Come along in. I always envy the inmates of +this house." + +They walked up the path, and Gentian was like a child in her ecstatic +admiration over the low, quaint, old-fashioned room, with roomy +cupboards in the thick walls, and oak beams across the ceilings. There +were two sitting-rooms and a large kitchen downstairs and four sunny +bedrooms above with a long attic in the roof. + +The furniture was in keeping with the house, the walls were all +coloured a pale apple green, the doors and wainscotting dark oak. + +Gentian stood at one window overlooking a small garden and an apple +orchard at the back. + +"There are English cottages and houses left like one reads of in +books," she said; "how pretty I could make this!" + +"Would you like to try?" Thorold asked. He was sitting on the edge of +an oak table, and looking at Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and not at Gentian as +he spoke. + +"What do you mean?" the girl asked quickly. + +"Well, it seems waiting for some one, and Miss Ward thought it might +suit you and her for a short time, until your plans were settled, or +for longer if it suited you!" + +"And what may be the rent?" demanded Gentian, looking at him with +surprise, pleasure, but also with a little defiance in her gaze. + +"We are in need of an organist," Thorold said slowly; "the present +one has to ride over here every Sunday from the next parish, and he's +an old man and he wants to give it up. If we could get hold of an +organist, who would take the house in lieu of a salary, it would suit +us down to the ground." + +"I hope you'll get one," was Gentian's cheerful response; "Waddy and I +would not care to take a house and make it pretty, only to be turned +out for some one else shortly." + +"But why shouldn't you be the organist?" said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +had been keeping silent with some difficulty up to now. + +Gentian turned to her with laughing eyes. + +"And this is the plot which Cousin Thorold began to hatch with Waddy in +London, and which put her in such a good temper. Do tell me the whole +of it. Of course I was brought to see my gilded cage to-day. It really +is a darling little cage, but I'm afraid it's too out of the way for my +car. And it's—it's too near my thoughtful cousin." + +"Oh, don't think about me," said Thorold dryly, "I like to live my +life alone I should not expect you to be running in and out. You might +borrow a book occasionally, perhaps." + +"How kind!" said Gentian. "But you see I must earn money to buy clothes +and food. This house won't provide that—and who would want to employ +my car out here? I might drive into Winderball every day, certainly. I +must think about it and let you know." + +A shadow of sadness came into her eyes. + +"It's strange how kindness brings one a sense of loneliness. I have to +settle my life apart from you two, for your one idea is to give, and I +am a bad taker; Waddy tells me I am. I will not take from you, Cousin +Thorold." + +"But this is not a gift. It is an exchange for your services. And +remember it belonged to your cousin Charles, and do you know I am a +little afraid of ghosts?" + +"Are you? How interesting! I think I'm rather fond of them. At least I +should be if I saw any. It would be so uplifting and mystical. Whose +ghost do you fear?" + +"Your cousin Charles. He might be very angry if I did not act towards +you as he would have done." + +"Oh, he's an unknown person to me." + +Gentian was standing in the doorway as she talked. + +"Hush!" she said suddenly, putting her finger on her lip. + +A pert little robin hopping about the tiled path flew past her into the +house. He perched himself on an oak chest in the tiny hall and lifting +up his voice burst into ecstatic song. + +Gentian's pathetic face was instantly illumined with sunshine. + +"The darling! That settles it. I'll be your organist, Cousin Thorold, +and come here to-morrow, if you like. Waddy will have to find the money +to live here. I shan't want much in the way of food if I have music and +robins and flowers to feed me, and I shall try to earn money at once. I +shall have my car, and I'll take it to the station at Winderball every +morning on the chance of picking up passengers." + +"That's settled then. St. Anselm's Vicarage is to be your new home." + +There was relief in Thorold's tone, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled. + +"You will be near enough, dear, for me to see you very often," she said +affectionately. + +"And I shall be still nearer Cousin Thorold," said Gentian with a +doubtful look at him, "but he has assured me he never wants to see me." + +"I shall be close at hand if you get into difficulties," said Thorold +quickly. + +They were out in the garden now. Gentian was on her knees in a moment, +picking some daffodils from a bed under the window, and sticking them +in her belt. + +"It's a darling little sunny home," she said. + +And then she relapsed into silence until they had walked up the road +and reached the Manor. Here Mrs. Wharnecliffe's car was waiting for +them. + +"Well," said Thorold, smiling at Gentian, "you must write to Miss Ward +and tell her that you like the idea of living in the Vicarage. And you +can settle in as soon as you like." + +"Yes," said Gentian, putting a hand on his coat sleeve and speaking +very earnestly, "Waddy and I will be very happy here, if you will +promise to leave us alone. It sounds rude, but I dread being managed by +a man, and being pestered by his ideas of propriety and convention. I +must live my life apart from your protection and care. I thank you with +all my heart for giving Waddy and me this home. But your kindness and +generosity must stop here. Let me feel that I am free in that house. Do +not make it into a cage. Good-bye." + +She stepped lightly into the car with a wave of the hand. Thorold went +into his house shaking his head. + +"All very well, my young lady. But you have dropped into my life like +a thunderbolt, and I believe you have come to stay. Boys are a serious +charge, but a girl is a stupendous one!" + +Driving home, Gentian chattered away to Mrs. Wharnecliffe as gaily as a +bird. + +"I like the little house, and the organ almost next door will make life +a perfect joy. But I shall have to earn my living, and the question +is, will this county produce enough customers—fares—for me? I imagine +most people who have big houses like you, have their own cars, and +the country people in their sweet little cottages have no money to +hire cars—they walk along the roads carrying their baskets like those +dear old dames I took up in my car the other day. The class I want are +city men going to town, and sightseers—Americans, who want to see the +English country. I have a thought! Thomas Cook, who runs cars in town +himself, might help me. I will tell him I am only forty minutes from +town, and will take parties to do the English country." + +"My dear child," interrupted Mrs. Wharnecliffe, "you are not running a +char-à-banc! Your car only holds four besides the driver." + +"Five. No, I will only take private parties." + +She relapsed into silence, looking very pensive, for a few minutes, +then her face cleared, and seemed flooded with sunshine. + +"I will just live day by day, and I am going to fill myself with joy +and peace, getting into that anchorage of bliss, that darling nest of a +vicarage. May I give it another name, do you think?" + +"No, I should not alter it, for the country round know it by that name. +St. Anselm's Vicarage, Crowhurst, is a pretty address, I think." + + +When they arrived home, Gentian found a packet of letters awaiting her. +She went off to her room with them, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not see +her till dinner time. + +She was rather silent through the meal. Afterwards, when Mr. +Wharnecliffe had retired to his smoking-room for a perusal of +the evening papers, she said to her hostess as they sat over the +drawing-room fire: + +"I heard from Mr. Paget to-day." + +"Is he your English friend?" + +"Yes, the only Englishman I have ever liked. Many of them came out to +Italy with arrogant voices, and found fault with everything, and others +seemed to be always busy making or losing money at the Casino. Jim +Paget loved Italy, he does not like his country. He is in London now." + +"But you are not really engaged to him, Gentian, are you?" + +She gazed into the fire dreamily without speaking for a few minutes; +then her blue eyes looked at Mrs. Wharnecliffe very quietly and +directly. + +"I am still thinking about it." + +"Tell me a little more about him, dear. Describe him to me." + +"He is tall and fair, but his eyes are quick and restless, not like +Cousin Thorold's. His are still and steadfast, but they break up +sometimes into pools of laughter. I like him then, even when I know he +is quietly laughing at me—Jim would never laugh at me, never! But he +is magnetic and he pulls me after him sometimes against my will. He +is very quick and enthusiastic, and lives his life breathlessly, and +he would drag me after him anywhere and everywhere if I married him; +and mind and body are so strong, I cannot keep pace with him! I should +never have repose, and though I love doing and seeing everything, I +like when I have done it all to sit down and rest and think about it. +Jim never rests; he can think as he's rushing on. But oh, he is so full +of life, that he keeps me full too!" + +"Has he any parents living?" + +"Yes, in Northumberland. That is the far north of England, is it not?" + +A grave look came into her eyes, then she shook her head in a pretty +careless way. + +"We have discussed him enough. He is in England, so you may meet him +and see what he is like. Now tell me, shall we go over to-morrow to the +Vicarage and open its cupboards, and get out all the curtains, and see +how pretty we can make it?" + +"Yes, I think we can; we will go in the morning. In the afternoon I +want to take you to see my blind friend, Sir Gilbert Winnington." + +"I am going to have a charming time here," said Gentian, smiling up at +her hostess like a pleased child. "I feel it was a happy day when we +made each other's acquaintance." + +"Indeed it was," responded Mrs. Wharnecliffe warmly. + +And when Gentian had gone to bed, she said to her husband: "I feel +increasing responsibility over this child. She is the last sort of girl +to be out in the world alone, and I don't think Miss Ward is strong +enough in character to deal with her. I wish she would give up this +motor business." + +"Perhaps it will give her up," responded her husband cheerfully. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe shook her head doubtfully. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +JIM PAGET + +THE next morning Mrs. Wharnecliffe took Gentian over to St. Anselm's +Vicarage. Thorold's old housekeeper was already there. They spent a +very happy two hours in the house, for Mrs. Wharnecliffe was never +happier than when arranging and beautifying rooms; and Gentian was like +a joyous child, dancing in and out, and singing gay little Italian +songs under her breath. + +By the time they were obliged to return home, chintz curtains were +hanging in the windows, pretty rugs were underfoot upon the stained +floors, and the whole house wore a habitable aspect. + +As they were walking away from the door, Thorold passed down the road. +Mrs. Wharnecliffe called to him. + +"I hope everything is all right?" he asked. + +"Yes," responded Gentian, turning towards him her glowing radiant face. +"It's the dearest little house in the world, and I've discovered that +there are swallows building under the eaves. Does not that bring us +luck? I am longing for Waddy to see it." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe turned to speak to her chauffeur, and Gentian's eyes +suddenly became soft and grave. + +"I want to speak to you alone," she said to Thorold. + +"We will walk down the road," he said. "I hope you have no fresh +difficulties about the house?" + +She shook her head. + +"No, no. It is this. I have taken advantage of your kindness. I have +claimed cousinship with you in a letter to a friend, and I thought I +had better tell you." + +"That is what I hoped you would do," said Thorold. + +She clasped and reclasped her hands rather nervously. "It is Mr. Paget +who has made it necessary. He is too rapid, too dictatorial, he sweeps +me off my feet, and he wrote to me as if I were quite alone and forlorn +in the world, and he said he wanted me to meet his parents, that they +were very anxious to make my acquaintance, that they were staying in +London and he was much disappointed that I had left town so soon. He +expected me to come up at once and see him—to-morrow—and then he hoped +I would come and stay with them in the North, but though he did not say +it, I felt his parents would not invite me on a visit, unless they saw +me and liked me; and I am not accustomed to that sort of thing. It is +not for me to go to them for inspection, I prefer they come to me, and +I do not want to be bothered with his parents at present. I am very +happy here, and I shall be too busy earning my living soon to be paying +visits in the North. So I wrote and said I might not be visiting London +again for a long while; that I had a cousin down here, and that I was +making my home here for the time. Do you mind? I hope not. I shall be +using you as a buffer when occasion requires." + +Thorold smiled. + +"Ah, yes! I told you that, did I not? Very wise of you. I think I had +better make acquaintance with this young fellow, and let him see that +you must be treated with respect." + +"Oh," said Gentian airily; "that is not necessary. I can keep him in +his place. I would be friends with no one who did not show me respect." + +Her little head rose a good inch higher as she spoke. + +"Mrs. Wharnecliffe must invite him down," Thorold said in his quiet +determined manner. "I forget whether you are formally engaged to him or +not?" + +"You cannot forget, for you have never been told," flashed forth +Gentian; and then she made him a little graceful foreign bow, and +turned back to the car. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe saw from Thorold's amused eyes and the girl's +heightened colour, that there had been a few words between them, and +Gentian soon enlightened her. + +"My cousin Thorold is a little too inquisitive," she said presently. +"He thinks he has a right to know all my friends. And I see no reason +for it. But I would like you to know Jim Paget, he is an Englishman and +has a home I think something like yours. And he wants to see me, but it +is not comme il faut for me to fly to him. He must fly to me. Would it +be presuming on your kindness to ask you to receive him one day? And I +could fetch him from the station in my car." + +"No, I would not like that. Certainly, dear, we will ask him down, but +I will send our car for him. I was going to suggest having him here if +you want to see him." + +"Thank you very much. I will write to him at once." + + +In the afternoon Mrs. Wharnecliffe drove her over to see her old blind +friend, Sir Gilbert Winnington. + +Gentian looked with interest at the old Tudor house as they approached +it. The green leaves and shrubberies surrounding it with the spring +flowers again evoked her admiration. + +"You have not the colour we have in Italy, but you are cool and green +and shady and your trees are so big and old, that they look as if +they've been here for hundreds of years." + +"And so they have," replied Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "And this house is five +hundred years old." + +"Has your friend always been blind?" + +"No, only about seven years. He lives quite alone with a secretary who +is devoted to him. But he often has nieces staying with him, and he is +the most cheery contented being in the world." + +They were shown into a long low room which struck Gentian as one of the +most comfortable she had seen in England. Books and pictures abounded; +the easy chairs and couches were, all covered with soft blue leather, +blue velvet curtains hung from the tall narrow windows, and thick +Persian rugs were under foot. + +At a table near an open window sat Sir Gilbert and his young secretary. +Gentian was introduced to them both, and then Mr. George Damers slipped +away, and Sir Gilbert made his visitors comfortable beside him. + +"I am so glad you have brought your young friend to see me," Sir +Gilbert said in a cheerful tone; "I always do like to have young people +round me." + +"How do you know I am young?" asked Gentian. + +"By your voice," was the quick reply. "And you are quicksilvery by +nature, and a little impatient." + +"You are a wizard! Waddy is always telling me the same." + +Then Gentian criticized her host. He was a tall, good-looking man, +with a short grey beard, and rather delicately cut features. But there +was a wonderfully peaceful look upon his face; he reminded Gentian +of some of the saints in the pictures she had seen abroad. He and +Mrs. Wharnecliffe talked together for some time and then he turned to +Gentian. + +"I hear you play the organ. Come and see mine. It is in the hall." + +He led the way without a falter in his step, and it was not difficult +to persuade him to play. Gentian sat back in an old carved chair in a +dark corner of the hall, and as she listened, her whole soul was moved +within her. + +Sir Gilbert played as she had heard few play before. The sweetness of +the notes thrilled her through and through. Mrs. Wharnecliffe listened +for some time, and then slipped away. She wanted to speak to Mr. +Damers, and also wanted to leave Gentian alone with Sir Gilbert. + +When he at last ceased playing Gentian was at his elbow, and tears were +in her voice. + +"Oh, it is beautiful! How can you play so! You touch my heart. It is +like the angels must play in Paradise. Some people move to laughter and +gaiety with their music, and some awe one, and some move to tears, but +you draw one up and away to God himself. How do you do it?" + +He turned round on the organ stool and smiled at her. + +"Ah!" he said. "You respond to music, you love it. And do you love God, +little one?" + +"When I am in church I do, and when I listen to music; and sometimes +when I make it myself." + +"And never when you are quiet and still? Or do you never give yourself +time to be quiet?" + +"Oh, I am quiet when I see a beautiful sky, or the moonlight over a +lake, or the afterglow of the sunset on the snow mountains." + +He placed his hand on her shoulder. + +"Thank God every day of your life that you can see these things. He has +given you much. What have you given Him? When we love we give." + +Gentian looked up at him with a wistful gleam in her blue eyes. + +"Oh, I don't love like that. I give a little money in church sometimes." + +Sir Gilbert smiled. + +"It isn't your pocket God wants, but your soul, the little soul that is +still fresh and young and full of life and energy." + +Gentian was silent. She laid her hand on his sleeve and after a minute +she said: + +"I like people to talk to me like that. No one ever has. And I want to +get near Heaven. How can I give God my soul when I am alive? I hope He +will take it when I die. When I think of Our Lord on the Cross I love +Him, but I do not think often enough. I forget! There is so very much +to interest me in the world. I want to see all I can, and know all I +can, and do all I can. It does not give me time for thinking much." + +"Will you spare half an hour every evening before you go to sleep, to +think about these things?" + +"I will try," was Gentian's sober reply. + +"If you live your life in touch with God, you will make a success of +it. If not, you are one of this world's failures." + +"I do not like being a failure, but I love to be happy. I could not go +into a convent and stay there as so many good women do." + +"God forbid. He wants you to enjoy life abundantly, but to enjoy it +with Him, and in His service." + +"Play again to me, it helps me to think." + +So the blind man turned to his organ, and soon Handel's beautiful +"Comfort ye my people" was pealing through the silent hall. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe slipped back to listen to it. + +When it was over Gentian's eyes were full of tears. But when they moved +into another room to have tea, she exerted herself to talk. George +Damers came back; he was a tall grave-looking youth, with something of +Sir Gilbert's sweet expression about his face. He was very attentive to +Sir Gilbert's wants, but when the meal was over Sir Gilbert asked him +to show Gentian the conservatory. The brilliancy and variety of flowers +there delighted her. + +"What a pity Sir Gilbert can't see his flowers. Why does he have them?" + +"He can smell them. He loves flowers. His life has not narrowed since +he became blind. I think, on the contrary, it has widened." + +"You are very fond of him, are you not?" + +"He is a man in a thousand," was the quick reply. "I have reason to +be grateful to him, for I was at my wits' end—I was one of those +discharged soldiers after the war—incapable of continuing in the army, +and I could do nothing else. He heard of me by chance, and took me in +straight away. And every day the post is the medium of bringing relief +to hundreds of others like myself, and every one he helps, he takes +into his life. His purpose in it all is a great one, but he never talks +about it." + +"I think," said Gentian slowly, "that he makes every one he knows +better, doesn't he? He makes them good, like himself." + +"He tries to, at all events," the young secretary said. + +Gentian rejoined Sir Gilbert in a thoughtful frame of mind. He talked +with her about her music, made her a present of a volume of short organ +voluntaries, and wanted her to try his organ, but this she declined to +do. + +"I could not play this afternoon," she said. "I have been listening to +you, and your music and your talk is filling all my thoughts." + +On their way home she told Mrs. Wharnecliffe that she was sure that Sir +Gilbert would not live very long. + +"He is too good to live," she asserted. "I have seen women who are +good, but not men. Men leave religion to women—unless they are monks or +clergymen. Sir Gilbert spends his days in pleasing God. People in the +world don't do that unless they are going to die." + +"Oh, my dear child," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, smiling; "sometimes I +wonder if you are six or sixty. Sir Gilbert is a very ordinary English +gentleman. People call him a philanthropist, for he is very interested +in all things that help and benefit young people. And he has a +wonderful personal influence over them. There are many good men in the +world, I'm glad to say, though you may not have met them. Goodness is +not confined to dying men." + +Gentian was silent. She was very quiet for the rest of that day, but +the next morning seemed quite to have recovered her usual high spirits. + + +Two days afterwards, Jim arrived. Mrs. Wharnecliffe liked the look of +him. She was amused at the determination on his part to be a big unit +in Gentian's life, and at her proud aloofness and determination that he +should keep his distance, and only have what she chose to give him. + +He swept away at once all idea of Gentian assuming the profession of +chauffeur. + +"It is ridiculous, and impossible, and out of the question. You must +come and stay with us, and my mother will show you why it is the last +calling in the world for you." + +"But I do not know your mother," said Gentian slowly, "and her views +and mine might be very far apart." + +Jim was a tall, muscular young fellow. Be towered over Gentian now, +like some great Saxon giant. + +"You alone in a car driving strange men about! Do you think your +mother would have allowed it! I've seen three women chauffeurs. Thank +goodness, they're of a different sort and make to you! And if you get +hung up, with a burst tyre or a puncture or get run into by one of +these char-à-bancs, where are you then? It's preposterous, absurd, not +to be thought of! If you have a craze for motoring, you must come to +us, and I'll tour you round for a bit. We'll take a run over the border +into Scotland. You want to see everything and you must see that. When +will you come? My people will be in town for the next fortnight, but +they'll be home the end of the month. Can you come to us the first week +in June?" + +"I think not," said Gentian. "I am going to move into my new house with +Waddy that week. I am very much occupied just now. In England we do not +live the life of Italy. There the sun and the flowers help to keep you +lazy. It is just a life of pleasure, of taking your ease. Here every +one who is not rich works, do they not, Mrs. Wharnecliffe? Girls as +well as men. We have to earn our daily bread. My car and my music and +my house will take up all my time. My cousin has placed this house at +my disposal, he lives near—" + +"But do you mean that you will not pay us a visit?" Jim Paget's face +showed great discomposure. "Your cousin, you say—you did not know +he existed a few months ago. What has he to say to it? We are old +friends—we are more than old friends—we—" + +He glanced at Mrs. Wharnecliffe impatiently, wishing her out of the +room, but she did not take the hint. + +Gentian was perfectly serene and composed. + +"I am very glad to see you, Jim. We are old friends, as you say, and +perhaps some time later in the summer I may like to come and see your +mother. But not just now. Have you a rock garden in your home? Mrs. +Wharnecliffe has a beautiful one; would you like to come and see it?" + +Jim Paget got up with a sigh of relief, and Wharnecliffe wisely let the +two young people wander out into the garden by themselves. They were +there a long time. Sitting in her drawing-room by the open window, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe was at last aware by the sound of their voices that they +were returning to the house. + +Jim's voice was raised in indignant protest. "Are you going to keep me +hanging about till you see some one you may like better?" + +"No, dear Jim. I will not do that, take your dismissal at once. I mean +it. I will not be bullied. Every one thinks he can browbeat and manage +a girl that is alone. And I have a soul and mind as well as my body, +and it is my soul you do not understand. It will not lie down to be +trampled upon. If I married you, it would not be my own at all; you +would have it in your hands, refusing to let it breathe and slowly +squeezing it to death." + +"Oh, Gentian, don't be so ridiculous!" + +Jim's face was hot, and his tone not too gentle. + +And then Gentian came with flying steps into the drawing-room through +the open French windows. She stopped short for an instant when she saw +Mrs. Wharnecliffe, then she slipped into an easy chair with a little +sigh. + +"It is very warm in the garden. We have seen your rock garden, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, and I believe Jim has gone to his room to pack up his +things." + +"But he is staying with us another night, is he not?" + +"I don't think he will. Urgent business will summon him to town." + +There was a hint of laughter in Gentian's wonderful blue eyes. Mrs. +Wharnecliffe wondered if she were heartless. + +But Jim was not easily crushed. He came down to dinner that night and +talked politics hard with Mr. Wharnecliffe, showing himself a keen +student of his country's constitution. He almost ignored Gentian, +who was very quiet and pensive, and after dinner went off to the +smoking-room with his host. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not press for Gentian's confidence and the girl +retired early to bed. Jim said nothing about leaving, but came into the +drawing-room just as Mrs. Wharnecliffe was about to leave it. + +"May I speak to you?" he said very earnestly. + +"Come along and sit down," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe cheerfully; "Gentian +has gone to bed. She was tired." + +"Oh, I would not have troubled her with my company to-night," he said a +little bitterly. + +"I am afraid you young people have been rubbing each other up," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "Can I help towards smoothing matters out? First of +all, I should like to know how things are between you." + +"We are virtually engaged," said Jim quickly. "At least, I thought we +were. Gentian has never been practical about it, she always says we +don't know each other well enough to be sure whether we shall suit each +other. And I—I'm desperately in love with her. I've been so for five +years. You don't know her as I do. She's the sweetest-natured girl in +the world, but elusive, and she lives in a dream world of her own, +and thinks every one a saint, and her moods are as many as the stars +in the heavens. She's angry with me now, but in the morning she'll be +sorry—she always is. I cannot stand her taking up this car business. Is +she fit for it? Do you consider she is?" + +"Most certainly not, but though I don't know her as well as you, I know +she must be persuaded and not driven, and I am going slowly. I don't +think it will come to anything." + +"Oh, I don't know. She has such a daring adventurous streak in her. I +want you to be my friend, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I can afford to marry. +I am in business in the city, and it's doing well. I can give her a +comfortable home, and at my father's death, I come into the family +property. I'm the only son. Gentian has no need to earn her living. I +am ready and waiting to give her a happy home. Do talk to her, and let +something definite come of this visit of mine. I'm so glad to find her +amongst people of her own. You're a kind of cousin, aren't you? Do, for +her sake, if not mine, persuade her to be properly engaged to me, and +then we'll get married as soon as possible." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe was touched by the young man's impetuosity. + +"Do you think you would be really able to make her happy?" she said +slowly. "You see, I place Gentian first. She is almost like a daughter +to me already, and I am certain that if Gentian married where she did +not really love, a very unhappy future would be in store for herself +and her husband. She is a very wilful little person. I think you are +the same. Would you expect her to give way to you always?" + +Jim looked slightly uncomfortable. + +"Oh, if she belonged to me, I would make her happy," he said; "it's the +uncertainty that irritates me at times." + +"Do you want me to talk to Gentian and plead your cause?" + +"If you will. She's missed her mother so, and old Waddy is no good at +all. You're a woman of the world, and you can make her see that we +can't go on in this indefinite way any longer. It's good for neither of +us." + +"And you'll take your dismissal courageously and quietly, if she wishes +it?" + +Jim's face fell. + +"Oh, she can't dismiss me after all these years. I won't think it +possible." + +They talked together for some little time, and finally Mrs. +Wharnecliffe promised to speak to Gentian the next morning. + + + +CHAPTER V + +AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE + +THE young people met at breakfast as if nothing had happened between +them. Gentian was her bright happy self again; she wanted to drive Jim +to the town in her car, but he made the excuse that he was going to +write business letters in the library and would prefer not to go out +till the afternoon. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe was just going to speak to Gentian when Thorold +arrived over. He had come to ask Gentian if she could possibly take the +organ the following Sunday. + +"Could I do it?" she questioned half-diffidently, half-eagerly. + +"If you come to the practice to-night at six o'clock, our organist +would be there, and would put you in the way of it; but he has to +go away to see a sick relation to-morrow, and will not be back till +Monday." + +"I'll come. Mr. Paget is here; would you like to see him?" + +"I shall be very glad to make his acquaintance. Does he know of the +buffer's existence?" + +"I've dragged you into every other sentence. I think he thinks you and +Mrs. Wharnecliffe are brother and sister, and you mustn't undeceive +him." + +Then she looked at him sternly. + +"I remember now, you told me you wished to see my friend, and the organ +is just an excuse. You came on purpose to see him." + +"Perhaps I did," said Thorold dryly. + +"He is in the library, writing letters. I don't think he wishes to be +disturbed." + +"Oh, I will fetch him," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who had no qualms about +interrupting her visitor's occupation. + +She was not surprised to find him smoking a cigarette and moodily +sitting by the window doing nothing. + +"I want you to make acquaintance with Gentian's cousin, Mr. Holt," she +said cheerfully. "May I bring him in here?" + +"This is your house," the young fellow said, rising hastily from his +seat in some confusion; "of course I shall be very glad to see him." + +So Thorold was brought in and introduced; and then Mrs. Wharnecliffe +went back to Gentian, who did not look very pleased. "Cousin Thorold is +very obstinate in doing his own will," she said; "why does he come over +to see Jim Paget? Does he want to see if he is a fit friend for me? +If he was a gorilla, I should stick up for him if I wanted to. Cousin +Thorold couldn't well prevent me." + +"Now, Gentian, my dear child, I want you to be frank with me. This +Mr. Paget considers you are virtually engaged to him. Is this so? He +evidently wants matters to be settled. Is it that you cannot make up +your mind? Do you really like him? I want to help you if I can. He +says he has known and loved you for five years. You cannot keep a man +waiting too long, though I own you are full young yet to marry. He +seems to me a nice straightforward man with means of his own and he is +very fond of you." + +"He has been getting hold of you. I told you the other day what I feel +about him. He is too strong-willed for me. I don't know which is worst, +he or Cousin Thorold. Of course Cousin Thorold is more reliable, and a +little kinder. I saw him pick up a village child and kiss it the other +day when it had fallen and hurt itself. Jim would never do that, he +would push it out of his way. Jim is going through the world elbowing +people right and left—clearing his way, and knocking down everybody +and everything that stops his progress. Cousin Thorold looks out for +those he can help, but he likes to manage those he helps, and that's +where they are alike. Jim likes to manage too. No, it's no good, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, if Jim wants his answer now, I'll give it to him, but +I shall be awfully sorry if he goes away in a huff and never sees me +again; because I shall have no friend left then; and he has always been +as good as a brother to me." + +"It is only fair to him that it should be one thing or the other," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe; "if you don't want to marry him, you must not keep +him hanging round you." + +Gentian was silent. Then she said in an animated tone: "Now I wonder +what those two are talking about? May I go and see?" + +"I think you had better wait. They will come to us when they want us." + +And in a very few minutes Thorold came in. He addressed himself to +Gentian. + +"The interview has been very satisfactory. I like your friend." + +"How kind of you!" + +Gentian's tone was non-committal. It might have been sarcasm, or an +expression of pleasure. + +"But I have told him that you are settling down here for the present, +and he must not worry you to go away, if you want to stay here." + +"No one will worry me to do anything that I do not want to do," said +Gentian calmly. + +"Then why the little creases on your brow at present?" + +Gentian looked up at him and laughed. + +"You make the creases; I always feel my bristles rising when you come +near. You think you've got to take care of me and guide my steps, and +you want to lock me up in a glass case and keep me there." + +"As a precious ornament," said Thorold; "you ought to be flattered. It +is only treasures that require guarding." + +Then he altered his tone. + +"I don't want to make any more creases. They do not suit you, so I'll +leave you. If Mr. Paget would like to see the Vicarage this afternoon, +my housekeeper will have the keys. I shall be out." + +"Thank you. I daresay we may stroll down there." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe walked down the drive with Thorold. + +"I really don't understand her one bit," she confided to him; "I am +pretty certain she is not in love with this boy, but what she intends +to do is past my comprehension. He wants to be definitely engaged to +her. I have told her it must be one thing or the other. They have been +going on like this for nearly five years. It's my belief she clings to +him as to an old friend, and does not want to lose his friendship. She +said as much to me." + +"He means to settle it to-day," said Thorold. "If she sends him away, +we shall have the responsibility of her altogether. I was wishing +the other day that she were my daughter. Now I don't know. Girls are +difficult to manage." + +"Miss Ward will have the charge of her very soon," said Thorold easily; +"and I dare say she and this young fellow will settle it up together. +He's very fond of her." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave a little sigh. + +After lunch Jim Paget and Gentian set off for the Vicarage. They were +gone nearly three hours, and then Jim returned alone with a very rueful +face. + +"Where is Gentian?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe when she saw him. + +"Oh, she's staying on for the organ practice. Mr. Holt's housekeeper is +giving her tea. I've been dismissed for good and all, and I think I'll +go back to town to-night, if you'll excuse my doing so. There's the +7.30 express." + +"I am sorry," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and her heart ached for the young +fellow, whose face looked haggard and drawn. + +"I didn't look for it, and that's a fact!" he said. "After all these +years too! I don't believe she knows what she's doing. She's enamoured +with her new surroundings here. I wish—if I may say so—that you had +never discovered her. If she and Waddy had been alone in London +lodgings, she would have turned to me with joy. But she's crazed about +this car of hers, and the little house and the organ. She'll find me +wanting soon. I shan't give up hope. I shall be utterly silent to her, +and perhaps after a time, she'll want to hear of me. I never shall +marry anyone else, I know that." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe tried to comfort him. She ordered the car to take him +to the station, and felt a little vexed with Gentian; but at the same +time her instinct told her that the girl was right, for her heart was +not Jim's. It still remained untouched. + +When Gentian came in, it was to find that Jim had gone. She looked +rather blank when Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave her the news. + +"What an awful hurry he was in! I quite meant to wish him good-bye +properly and to part friends. But perhaps it is best as it is." + +"How did the practice go off?" + +"Oh, it was lovely! The organ is a gem, and I found it quite easy to +play, and the small boys were such dears, and there's quite an old man +who comes with them and sings the deepest bass, and keeps saying: 'We +b'aint in 'armony!'" + +She gave an animated account of her doings, and seemed to forget +Jim. But she was very quiet and pensive at dinner, and went to the +piano afterwards, and played such dreary dirges, that at last Mrs. +Wharnecliffe begged her to stop. + +"It's to mark the burial of my friendship with Jim, and all his hopes +and mine. I really feel as if he has died. It is like it to me. He says +he will never see me again unless I send for him, and I shall never do +that." + +"I hope you do not regret having sent him away." + +"Of course I do!" she said passionately. "You can't give up a friend +without feeling it. You have made me do it. You and he together. I +could not marry him, but lots of girls have men friends, and I call him +selfish to leave me for ever like this." + +"I think you are selfish to accept his love and attentions when you +know you do not mean to make him happy." + +"I am very, very selfish," said Gentian in a humble tone; "I always +have been. But if he was unselfish, he would not wish to force me +against my liking to marry him. Shut up with Jim all my life! Oh, I +couldn't live! I should die. It would be dreadful!" + +Then she slipped her arm through Mrs. Wharnecliffe's with a wistful +smile up at her. + +"Oh, do love me and be kind to me I have forsaken Jim, for you and +Cousin Thorold. Perhaps you would rather I had married him, so as to +get rid of me. I feel sure that Cousin Thorold wanted me to do it. But +I won't burden you with the care of me. When I get Waddy again, I shall +be quite independent, and so busy that I shall have no time to come and +see you." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe kissed her. + +"My dear Gentian," she said, "I am very glad we are not going to +lose you. And I mean to see a great deal of you in the future. I am +old-fashioned enough to believe in love matches, and if you don't love +a man, don't marry him. That is my advice. I have seen disaster again +and again come upon young people, because they married in haste for +expediency." + +So Jim Paget departed out of Gentian's life, and at the end of a few +days, she seemed as if she had forgotten all about him. She was getting +quite absorbed in her small house, and when the day came for her to +move into it, and Miss Ward was expected to arrive, she was as excited +as a child. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe felt a blank in the house when she left her. Gentian +made her presence and personality felt wherever she went. + + +About a week after she moved in, Thorold, taking a morning walk past +the house, was confronted by a large white notice board in its front +garden facing the road. + +"Car for hire. Apply within." + +He was standing looking up at it with disapproval stamped upon his +face, when Gentian's voice over the hedge surprised him. + +"Well, and what do you think of it? I am afraid we are too out of the +way for people to see it." + +"I don't like it at all," said Thorold gravely. + +"What a pity! I am proud of it. I have had two fares already. Every +morning I drive into Winderball and go slowly up and down the high +street with my notice 'for hire' staring every one in the face. They +won't let me stand in the station yard, so that is all I can do, but I +took a gentleman to the station yesterday, and the day before I drove +a young couple to see an empty house about eight miles out. That was a +good stroke of business. I shall get on in spite of your disapproval. +I could not stay here if I did not. Don't you want to go and see Mrs. +Wharnecliffe and ask her opinion about my notice board? I will run you +out this afternoon if you like. The journey there and back will be +twenty-two shillings. I cannot take tips, as it is my own car." + +"I am afraid you do not tempt me," said Thorold, smiling in spite of +himself. "Having a motor-bike and a horse, I am independent of cars." + +"Oh, of course, you are what they call complete in yourself. Now, dear +Cousin Thorold—" + +She changed her tone and began to coax: + +"Don't fight me about this board. It means a livelihood for me, and I +do not like cross faces and expostulations. All yesterday Miss Ward was +telling me you would not like it. And I said to her: + +"'Cousin Thorold is a sensible broad-minded man, and very kind at +heart!' + +"Are you not? We'll say no more about it. Now can you tell me if this +is the time to plant roses? I want some badly, and there is a woman +called Mrs. Guddings in the village who has a moss rose, and tells me +she will give me a root of it." + +Thorold succumbed, and the talk veered to roses. The board remained up, +and only two days afterwards it brought Gentian business. + +She was gardening very busily, and Miss Ward was having her afternoon +siesta, when a middle-aged lady appeared at her gate. She seemed in +some haste and agitation. + +"We've had a breakdown at the bottom of the road, and I want to get to +town urgently to see a sister who is ill. We heard from a cottage that +there was a car for hire here. Can you lend it to us? I conclude there +is a driver." + +"I drive my car myself," Gentian said with her greatest dignity. "I +will come with you at once." + +The lady looked at her in a surprised fashion. + +"Can you take a small amount of luggage? I have a niece with me, but we +shall be obliged to send our chauffeur back to the town with the car. +You look very young. I know girls do drive cars in these days, but have +you had much experience?" + +"I have done the journey from town here with perfect ease, and know the +road well. Would you like to see the car?" + +Without waiting for an answer, Gentian led the way to her garage. + +The lady looked at the car critically, but appeared satisfied. She +asked if Gentian could start at once. + +"In five minutes," said Gentian. + +"Then I will go back and relieve my niece's mind. It is her mother who +is ill, and we have missed the train to town." + +Gentian slipped quietly up to her room and got into her motor kit, +being careful not to disturb Miss Ward, for she was doubtful as to what +that lady would say to this expedition, as it was already late in the +afternoon. She left a message with the servant for her, and then drove +her car rapidly down the road. + +She found the two ladies anxiously awaiting her. Their car was in the +ditch, and their chauffeur hard at work trying to get it back into the +road. + +It was only the work of a few minutes to get her passengers and luggage +arranged for the journey, and then Gentian with glowing eyes and +cheeks, and a proud consciousness of her own powers, drove steadily +along the London road. + +The run was made very successfully. Gentian was offered some +refreshment at the London house, but she declined, as she was anxious +to get back. It was a very sultry evening, and there was every +appearance of a storm brewing. She had got well out of London, and +was in a very lonely part of the country when the storm burst full +upon her. Vivid lightning and peals of thunder rather shook her nerve. +It was with a sense of relief that she came to a wayside inn which +possessed a garage, and very soon she and her car were taking advantage +of the shelter. + +The storm was a heavy one, and lasted nearly an hour. Gentian had a +dish of eggs and bacon and a cup of tea in the inn parlour, but there +were some rough-looking farmers who tramped in and out, and she felt +uncomfortable when they persisted in talking to her. One of them asked +her to give him a lift. She refused, as she saw he had been drinking +freely, and she was very glad when she was able to start again, and get +away from them all. + +It seemed as if misfortune dogged her steps. She had got a little more +than half-way, when suddenly one of her tyres burst. It was now just +dark. She was on a road bordered by thick pine woods on each side, and +there was not a house within sight. She got out and with the light of +her lamp commenced to remedy matters. She had a spare tyre and had +been taught how to put one on, but a man had helped her, and she did +not seem to have the strength to screw the jack up, to get the tyre +off the ground. She exerted all her strength, but the wheel refused to +lift. Time went by. She was perilously near tears, and the feeling of +helplessness and inability to remedy matters, made her furious with +herself. + +At last she determined that she must leave her car where it was, and +walk on till she could get help from some one. It was at this juncture +that she saw a light approaching her. The noise told her that it was a +motor-cycle, and she plucked up courage to shout for help. Her surprise +was intense to find, the next moment, that the cycle rider was Thorold. + +"Oh," she cried. "I am glad to see you!" + +He got off his cycle at once, asked what was the matter, and very soon +had the burst tyre removed and the new one in its place. + +"I thought something must have happened, as you did not turn up, so I +came to meet you," he said simply. + +There was no word of reproach or "I told you so," and Gentian felt +subdued and very grateful. She started her car again, and he drove by +her side, till she reached the Vicarage, then he helped her to put her +car by, wished her good night, and disappeared, but Gentian felt that +she had not heard the last of this late run to town. + +Miss Ward with an anxious troubled face met her at the door. Her +reproaches and remonstrances continued during Gentian's late supper. +She got impatient at last. + +"I am tired, Waddy. You should never kick a person when she's down. +Good night." + +And abruptly she left her and went to bed. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +A FRESH PROPOSITION + +IT was a very quiet Gentian who came into the small drawing-room the +next afternoon, when she was told by Miss Ward that Thorold had called +and wished to see her. She shook hands with him in silence, and seated +herself on the low cushioned window seat. + +"I really meant to have asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe to speak to you about +this," said Thorold coming to the point at once; "but I rather believe +in doing disagreeable things oneself. I suppose you see for yourself +how impossible it is for you to be a public chauffeur." + +"I am sure," said Gentian pathetically, "I have had enough +expostulation and scolding and threatening from Miss Ward, but I am +ready to have it over again. Please get it over as quickly as you can." + +"Supposing I had not been able to meet you, what would you have done?" +asked Thorold rather brusquely. + +"I should have waited till some one came by." + +"And who would that have been? Just after we started do you remember a +cart of drunken men who almost overtook us?" + +"Yes," said Gentian unguardedly; "I had already seen them at the inn." + +"Would you have liked their help?" + +"I should not have asked for it." + +"But they would have offered it, of course." + +"Well, I can look after myself. Girls have to do so nowadays." + +"They never will if I have anything to do with them." Thorold spoke +sharply, and very determinedly. "Yesterday you were mercifully +kept from harm, but did not your experience show you that you were +absolutely unfitted to run a car as a man could?" + +"No," flashed forth Gentian; "it didn't. Difficulties make me long to +overcome them. I won't be crushed by them. I think the jack must have +been rusty. I shall practice using it till I can do it quite easily." + +"It must be stopped, Gentian. We will find something else for you to +do. You cannot run a car for the benefit of the public." + +Gentian looked out of the window. When she turned round tears were +trembling on the tips of her eyelashes. + +"You have no right to dictate to me," she said, trying to maintain her +dignity. + +"Cheer up," Thorold said. "I don't want to take your car from you. But +you must promise me that you'll never take any long journey so late in +the day. And I'll see if we can't find something better for you to do." + +"If your car is for hire, you can't dictate to people the time you go." + +"Well, we'll trust you won't be asked to go off to London so late in +the day again. And if it did happen that you were asked to take a night +journey, you must absolutely refuse." + +Gentian said nothing. + +"I'm in dead earnest," Thorold said, looking at her. + +"Oh," said Gentian passionately, "I haven't a friend in the world +except Waddy. Jim has left me, and you're determined to refuse me my +liberty and shut me up here, and take away from me the only hope of +earning my living and being independent." + +"Oh no. I will help you to be independent if I can. We won't quarrel. +It's only because I want you to be shielded from unpleasantness and +harm that I object to this car business. Forgive me, and let us part +friends." + +He smiled upon her, and when Thorold smiled he was irresistible. + +Gentian put her hand into his. + +"Interfering with the object of doing others good, is your besetting +sin, I think, Cousin Thorold. Good-bye. I was very glad to see you last +night. Those woods on each side of me frightened me. I promise you I +won't do night journeys again. I don't like them." + +She had recovered her spirits, but the next morning when she found that +Thorold had quietly removed her notice board she was ruffled again. + +"Was there ever a more arbitrary, meddlesome, managing man than Cousin +Thorold!" she said to Miss Ward. + +"I think he is one of the kindest, truest friends that any girl could +wish to have," was Miss Ward's fervent response. + +And Gentian, seeing she would get no sympathy from her, said no more. + +She took her car into Winderball nearly every day, and it was +astonishing how many fares she got. + +About a week later, she went out as usual one morning and did not +return till six o'clock. + +Miss Ward asked her where she had been. + +"Out into the country a long way, and they made me take them a long +round. They were looking at houses. Most of my good fares are people +house-hunting." + +"Did you have any lunch?" + +"Yes, we stopped at an inn." + +She said no more, but all the evening was strangely silent and +preoccupied. The next morning she did not take her car out, but told +Miss Ward she was going to practise in the church. She had found a lame +boy who was always ready to blow for her, when her usual blower was at +school. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe appeared about twelve o'clock, and hearing the sound +of the organ as she passed the church, stopped her car and went in. + +She could tell at once from Gentian's playing that all was not well +with her. But she did not interrupt her, she took a back seat in the +little church and waited. + +The music ceased at last. Gentian dismissed the lame boy; she had no +idea that anyone was in the church but herself, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe +felt a little uncomfortable when she saw her leave her organ stool and, +slipping into one of the front seats, kneel down and bury her face in +her hands. + +When Gentian rose at last, the church was empty; but she found Mrs. +Wharnecliffe walking up and down the churchyard. + +They greeted each other affectionately; then Gentian turned rather +eagerly to her. + +"Dear Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I think I'm going to make you happy. Certainly +Cousin Thorold will be, but my future is very dark. I'm giving up my +car. I shall never use it for the public, and I shan't be able to +afford the oil for it, so I suppose I shall have to sell it." + +"Since when have you decided this, dear?" Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked +gently. + +"Oh, I've lost all zest for it, for some days. And yesterday I said +to myself 'never again.' I was driving four very common men about the +country. And I didn't like them at all. And it isn't pleasant to be a +girl sometimes, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. And I'd rather be a road-mender on +the road, than everybody's and anybody's chauffeur." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe was much astonished, but could not hide her approval, +and Gentian's eyes were keen and far-seeing. + +"Ah!" she said, throwing out her hands in her foreign gesture of +despair. "I shall have no sympathy from anyone. I must learn to go my +way through life without it. You are pleased when I am sad—you are sad +when I am pleased." + +"My dear child, I cannot help feeling pleased when you show such +wisdom. I wish you would tell me a little more. I am afraid you have +experienced some unpleasantness. It was what we feared would happen. +But I am sorry, very sorry for you." + +"It is past." + +Gentian drew herself up to her full height. There was pride and a +little aloofness in her voice. + +"I will not talk about it, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. But I am hardly happy +to-day. I cannot be—I wish—" + +Here her tone became impassioned and vicious. + +"I wish I was an old hag with a bald head and hairs about my chin, and +a nutcracker mouth, and a hump on my back, and then I would drive my +car anywhere, everywhere, by day, and by night, and enjoy myself!" + +"Oh Gentian, what a child you are!" + +Gentian joined Mrs. Wharnecliffe in her laughter. + +"I feel better now. Come and see Waddy. I have been as cross as two +sticks to her all the morning. And I'll leave you to tell her of my +decision, and she and you will sing a song of thanksgiving together, +while I go for a solitary walk." + +"No, no, wait! I think I have some good news for you. I came along to +tell it to you. It has come at the right time." + +Gentian smiled. + +"I'm sure it's another job you have found me. Let me guess. Is it to +teach in the infants' school?" + +"No. Yesterday I was visiting some old friends of mine who live about +five miles away. They are sisters, two elderly women. One is very +strong—has never been ill in her life she says, and she still rides and +hunts. The other is delicate, and lives too much indoors. Her doctor +wants her to have air, and has suggested her having some motor-drives. +She used to have a carriage, but was upset one day by a drunken +coachman, and has never taken a drive since. She sold the carriage and +horses and dismissed her coachman. I got her to drive with me the other +day in my car, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. I suggested your taking +her for regular drives every day, and she is delighted at the thought +of it. She may eventually buy a car of her own, but at present she +would like to consider yours at her disposal whenever she wants it. And +she will give you anything you like to ask. She understands that if you +keep your car for her, you will be unable to use it for anyone else." + +Gentian's face was a study. The brilliant colour came back to her +cheeks and the light to her eyes. She seemed as if she could not speak +for a few minutes; then her eyes grew misty and tears trembled on the +edges of her eyelashes. + +"And so while I was praying," she said in a whisper, "the answer was +coming along the road to meet me. Mrs. Wharnecliffe, if only you +weren't an English woman I would throw my arms round your neck and +hug you! Do consider it done, will you. How lucky I am to have such a +friend! Am I to start to-morrow? Will she want me in the morning or the +afternoon, or both?" + +"Not quite so fast. They would like to see you and talk it over. So I +said I would bring you to-morrow, or rather that you would bring me in +your car, so that they could see it." + +"Oh, do go and tell Waddy. She will be so glad!" + +But Gentian did not go in with Mrs. Wharnecliffe. She sped up the road +to a certain small pine wood which she had discovered, and which served +her as a delightful retreat when she wanted to be alone and think. + +She did not come away from it for a full hour. And then on the way home +she met Thorold. + +"Well," he said; "have you had a good day at your trade?" + +"Have you not met Mrs. Wharnecliffe?" + +"No, I have been over the hill to one of my tenant farmers. Has she +been in these parts to-day?" + +"Oh yes, indeed she has." + +Gentian leant against a gate in the hedge, and looked up at Thorold +with a reflective light in her blue eyes. + +"I'm considering," she said, with a mischievous curl to her lips, +"whether I shall keep back part of the truth from you. I think I will. +You are not my Father Confessor. I am thinking of being a kind of +private chauffeur to an invalid lady, a friend of Mrs. Wharnecliffe." + +"Capital!" + +"If she makes it worth my while, it will be less fatiguing than +ordinary hire work." + +Thorold's face, like Mrs. Wharnecliffe's, showed relief and +satisfaction. + +Gentian frowned. + +"So now when you pass me in the road, you needn't screw up your eyes +to see whom I'm driving, and you needn't have your motor-cycle at hand +ready to dash out and meet me if I am rather late in getting home. In +fact you will be able to dismiss me entirely from your thoughts and +observation. And forget that I exist." + +"I wonder if I shall," said Thorold in rather a drawling voice. + +"I shall be too busy to give you a thought," said Gentian with a little +snap in her tone. + +And then Thorold laughed. + +"I was just going to ask you to come to a tea-party at my house the day +after to-morrow. I have some farmers' wives coming—six of them—we're +going to talk over the dairy stall at the flower-show in Winderball +next month, and I want some one to pour out tea for them. I thought +perhaps Miss Ward would come too—" + +In a moment Gentian's face cleared. + +"I shall love to come," she said enthusiastically; "I adore pouring out +tea! And farmers' wives are great fun, I'm sure!" + +"They will be very serious, for it's a committee meeting, and if you've +had no experience of them, you will be astonished at the gravity of the +situation." + +"Oh, I won't let them be grave. I can always make people laugh if I +want to. It's a pity you're so grave, Cousin Thorold. Perhaps when +you realize that the burden and cares of my livelihood are no more +necessary, you will take a brighter view of things." + +"It's a wonderful thing—the different point of view that people take. +Now Mrs. Wharnecliffe always complains that I am frivolous!" + +"Oh, I know what she means. You never seem in earnest, or care about +anything very much. That's why you annoy me so. You always seem +laughing at me up your sleeve!" + +"Then I do know how to laugh sometimes?" + +Gentian made an impatient movement, as if she were about to walk on, +then she turned towards him again. + +"You're a solid bit of rock, and I'm just a bubble! That's what I feel +when I talk to you. And I feel more bubbly than ever now that I have a +fresh start in front of me. Ah! I forgot! I can make no engagement for +the day after to-morrow. My old lady may want me—" + +"She'll be enjoying tea under her mulberry tree at the time I want you—" + +"Well, don't be surprised if I fail to turn up. She may be going to +a tea-party. Perhaps she may come to yours. But she isn't a farmer's +wife." + +"I have one lady coming to me. She is a Miss Horatia Buchan." + +"Then she can pour out tea if I don't turn up. Good-bye." + +She nodded to him and walked on. + +Thorold went on his way, but he muttered to himself: + +"Now I wonder what has upset the child and caused this revolution. Wild +horses would not have dragged her to this old lady a week ago!" + +Gentian went straight to her garage and pulled out her car. For half an +hour she cleaned and oiled it, then she walked into the house and had +her lunch. + +Miss Ward was of course beaming. + +"It seems the very thing for you, dear. How kind Mrs. Wharnecliffe is! +I feel I shall not be anxious now about you, for I shall know that you +are in good company." + +"I'm going to run over and see Sir Gilbert after lunch," said Gentian; +"would you like to come? It's a pretty drive—" + +"No thank you. I'm not fond of motoring, as you know." + + +It was not the first time Gentian had been to see the blind man. She +and he had struck up a great friendship. And he was pretty certain to +see her if she was in any difficulty or trouble. But to-day she arrived +over in the best of spirits. It was a very warm afternoon and she found +him on the lawn under an old cedar. + +His secretary was reading to him, but he closed the book when he saw +Gentian and slipped away, for he knew the two liked to be together for +a tête-à-tête talk. + +"Sir Gilbert, it is true, quite true what you told me the other day. +I put it to the test. You said if we took a right step, we should +not suffer for it, that God always gave better than we could give +ourselves. I decided this morning early that I would be a public +chauffeur no longer. I think I have been driven to it. But it cost me +a lot to give it up, only I knew it was the right step, and I was in +such trouble about it that I went into church to comfort myself with +the organ. And you know, for you play yourself, how the organ makes you +think of Paradise, and of God, so I left the organ and got down on my +knees and prayed that God would give me something better than what I +was giving up. And the answer came directly. Mrs. Wharnecliffe came up +and told me an old lady wanted the monopoly of my car, and I was to be +her chauffeur. Isn't it splendid! I'm going to see her to-morrow." + +Sir Gilbert smiled. + +"It's good news for all your friends," he said; "none of us have liked +your occupation." + +"No—and it shows how wicked I am at heart, for the thought of Cousin +Thorold's satisfaction, and of Mrs. Wharnecliffe's relief, and Waddy's +thankfulness, makes me just long to go back to it. They've all proved +so annoyingly right in their fears and surmises." + +"You feel that the young ought to prove more wise in their judgments +than the old? Well, we all have done that in our time, and as we grow +older our heads are bowed lower down. Age teaches humility." + +"I feel humbled to the dust, but I'm very grateful for my answered +prayer. And it makes me want more than ever to be good, really good +like you. Do you think I shall ever be so? Don't say you aren't good." + +"None of us are really good, my child. But you will learn to love more, +and then your service will be easier." + +Gentian's face was very sweet and grave. She clasped her hands round +her old friend's arm and looked up into his face very earnestly. + +"I have felt uncomfortable for weeks. I knew that I was doing every day +what you all disapproved of! Now to-morrow I am making a fresh start. +And I will learn to love more, and trust more. Now will you play to me?" + +Sir Gilbert gladly acquiesced; he went to his organ and Gentian settled +herself in a comfortable chair to listen. + +Sir Gilbert had said to Mrs. Wharnecliffe: + +"Your little friend has a dual nature: she is by turns a wayward, gay +little soul, and a very sweet and earnest aspirant after holy things." + +And certainly now, Gentian, with her wistful eyes and rapt grave face, +was very different from the mischievous laughing girl which most +outsiders knew and admired. + +When the music ceased Gentian rose to go. + +"One day I shall compose," she said slowly and thoughtfully; "and my +first composition will be a soul's flight to Paradise. We often get to +the gates before we die. We go up like the skylark and then we drop as +swiftly as he does to earth again. I get so close to the gates when you +play to me! And when you stop, I drop like a stone to the ground." + +"Then my music is of no use to you," Sir Gilbert said a little sadly. + +"But yes, it is," she said, seizing his hand and keeping it between +both of hers. "We can't live above the earth always; but it makes me +long and long for the Unseen Land. And I am praying and trying to live +as I should, till I reach it." + +"May God bless you, my child," was the blind man's quick response. + +And then Gentian bent her head and pressed her lips to his wrinkled +hand. + +"I have come to you in my bad moments," she said; "and to-day I thought +I must give you my good news. Au revoir." + +She left him and arrived home with a happy, smiling face. + +"Waddy, you did a good thing when you came down here on my account. I +think we're going to have a rattling good time, don't you?" + +Miss Ward smiled. + +"Well, yes, my dear, we have certainly fallen on our feet. There are +very few men so generous and kind as your cousin has been to us." + +"Oh, Cousin Thorold. I wasn't thinking of him. He's a very good buffer, +as he said, and he's useful at times, but there are other friends round +about us, and I hope I shall make fresh friends to-morrow. I'm longing +to see my new employer." + + + +CHAPTER VII + +A PRIVATE CHAUFFEUR + +"MRS. WHARNECLIFFE and Miss Brendon," announced an elderly maidservant, +opening the door of the big drawing-room at the Mount. + +The two occupants of the room looked at Gentian rather critically as +she approached them. She wore her close-fitting motor-cap, and a long +white linen coat fell down to her slim ankles. She might have been a +stripling of a boy, so neat, and taut, and severe was her attire. + +The eldest Miss Buchan spoke to her first, and Gentian's expressive +face kindled under her friendly look. Miss Anne Buchan was a handsome +old woman with dark eyes and white hair, and an extreme air of +fragility. She looked like some hothouse flower that had never been +exposed to any fresh breezes or pure air. She was slight in build and +rather tall, and stooped as she walked. Miss Horatia was younger, with +a rugged tanned face and big blue eyes, and a humorous mouth. She was +standing in the window mending a hunting crop and whistling as she did +so. Whilst Miss Anne was clothed in rich satin gown with priceless +lace about her neck, Miss Horatia was in a white shirt and rough tweed +skirt, with two big pockets, which held contents that schoolboys would +have envied. + +"And so this is my lady chauffeur," said Miss Anne pleasantly, as she +shook hands with Gentian. "You seem very young for the post, but youth +is to the fore now. It is we old people who are needed no longer." + +"Not to give us advice, and remind us of the good old days which have +gone for ever?" said Gentian with her mischievous smile. + +"Ah, I wonder if you will take advice from anyone!" Miss Anne responded. + +Miss Horatia looked sharply up from her employment. + +"How d'ye do?" she said brusquely. "What's your name?" + +"Gentian Brendon." + +"Oh, these new-fangled names; who chose that for you?" + +"Do you mean Gentian? My mother. When I was a baby. I had eyes that +reminded her of the flower." + +"And they're the same now," said gentle Miss Anne. "Sit down, child. +Now, Lallie, how are you?" + +For the next few minutes Gentian sat and listened to the conversation +which followed, and in which she felt she had no part. Miss Horatia +said very little; occasionally she put in a word. Presently she turned +to Gentian and said suddenly: + +"Do you realize that you and I are representatives of two centuries?" + +"But you are not very old?" + +"I am old in my habits, in my love for God's creatures instead of +men's. Don't expect me to set foot in your snorting bit of machinery. +When my horse and I part company, my life will be done. And when I'm +too old to sit in a saddle, I shall go straight to bed and stop there—" + +"I should like to ride," said Gentian a little wistfully; "but cars are +cheaper than horses, and swifter." + +Miss Horatia said no more. Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not make a long stay. +Miss Anne discussed everything with Gentian. She told her she would +like her to come every afternoon and take her out, Sundays excepted, +and the salary she mentioned more than satisfied Gentian. She came away +in the highest spirits and thanked Mrs. Wharnecliffe very warmly for +having obtained the post for her. + +"I shall be enjoying myself hugely every afternoon, and earning my +living, and be doing quite the proper thing. Nobody, not even Cousin +Thorold, can say it is not nice for me to be driving an old lady out +every day! Why!—Now I come to think of it, Cousin Thorold said he +expected a Miss Horatia Buchan to a tea-party at his house to-morrow. +Can it be the same? She's very sporting looking; not at all his style." + +"Horatia and Thorold have been friends for a long time," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe. "Once upon a time I hoped they would marry." + +"Oh, but they'd never suit each other," said Gentian in a startled +tone. "They're both so managing and masterful, and she must be years +older than he is." + +"They're just the same age, I believe—" + +"Miss Horatia looks as if she could be a great-grandmother—" + +"When you come to her age, you won't feel so ancient as that." + +Gentian laughed, and said no more. + +She drove Miss Anne out the next afternoon from two to four, but came +home to Miss Ward with a very doleful face. + +"She won't let me go faster than a horse. Says she likes quiet motion, +so that she can enjoy the air without being blown about. Isn't it a +humiliation and degradation for my dear Mousie! We got no distance, and +when I left her, I scorched along the road for all I was worth. Mousie +and I were panting to do it. It's too horrible for words! I shall never +have the patience to keep the job. Aren't you sorry for me, Waddy? Say +you are!" + +"No, I won't, but you can put on speed now, and change your dress, +for we are going to Mr. Holt's to tea. I can't think why the present +generation want such rapid motion. It's very bad for their brains!" + + +Thorold's tea-party and meeting were a great success. Miss Horatia was +there, and looked on at Gentian tea-making with an amused eye. + +"What do you think of that child?" she asked Thorold bluntly. "Does she +think our old world, revolves on its axis entirely and wholly for her?" + +"She's very young," said Thorold apologetically. "But life will teach +her what it has taught us." + +"We don't all learn the same lessons. Some can't be taught, and some +won't be. I don't think I'm at all an apt learner. But when I was her +age, I was more malleable, I fancy—" + +Thorold shook his head at her. + +"Never!" he said, and then he went off to talk to some one else. + +Gentian chattered away to all the farmers' wives as if she had known +them all her life. When the meeting was over, and they were dispersing, +one of them, a Mrs. Homer, said to Gentian pleasantly: + +"Come along one afternoon, miss, and have a cup of tea with me. I've +always held up for you, though there be many which say you be too +light-fingered on the organ for 'em on Sundays. There be almost a +merriment in your pieces afore and after church; they say it be not +seemly in church—" + +"Don't you feel happy on Sundays? I always do," returned Gentian. "Why +shouldn't we be bright and cheerful in church?" + +"Mrs. Crake—but I'll allow she's had a chapel bringin' up—she's only +conformed to church of late—she said las' Sunday her girl Ada passed +the remark that 'twould be easy to dance to your pieces." + +"What a dreadful thing to say!" said Gentian with sparkling eyes. "I'll +give you the creeps next Sunday if I can—a proper solemn dirge. Thank +you for asking me to tea. I shall love to come." + +Miss Horatia, was the last one to leave, and then Thorold walked home +with Miss Ward and Gentian. + +"I haven't had time to hear how you like this last venture of yours," +he said. + +Gentian laughed. + +"Oh, I shan't give myself away. I have only had one day. It is +oppressively slow, but when I think of how many people I have pleased +by taking the job, I feel I shan't live in vain! Miss Anne is an old +dear. I love old ladies. I am so tired—so disgusted—so out of friends +with men." + +"Are we such a bad lot?" asked Thorold quietly. + +Gentian looked at him with a pretty shake of her head. + +"I don't know about you. I'm in and out of friends with you so often! +Waddy is always singing your praises, so of course I do the opposite. +If you took me more seriously, I would like you better. Sir Gilbert is +the only man about here who speaks naturally and earnestly to me—" + +"My dear Gentian, your tongue runs away with you—" Miss Ward's tone was +shocked. + +"Oh Waddy, I never choose my words with Cousin Thorold. And I'm only +speaking the truth." + +They had reached the Cottage. Miss Ward went indoors, but Gentian +lingered at the gate with Thorold. + +"I'm sorry I don't take you seriously," Thorold said; "we'll have some +grave talks whenever you like." + +"Then we'll have one now," said Gentian impetuously; "come to the +bottom of the garden and sit on the seat with me, where I watch the sun +setting." + +Thorold followed her without a word. He sat down on one end of the +seat, she took the other. + +She was looking distractingly pretty, in a white embroidered linen +gown, and a shady white hat with a wreath of periwinkles round it which +matched the colour of her eyes. Now she leant forward, elbow on knees, +and her chin in the palm of her hand. + +"I want to do something with my life," she said with earnest solemnity. +"I am doing absolutely nothing now. I have been stuck down in this +dear little corner of England, and all of you are drawing fences round +me to keep me in. They are getting nearer and nearer, and my space is +getting smaller and smaller. Waddy and you and Mrs. Wharnecliffe think +I ought to be quite happy in my little cottage, watering the garden, +and helping Waddy to housekeep and then driving out an old lady at a +snail's pace every day. You say,— + +"'Now she's protected—now she's safe!' + +"And then you ask me out to tea to keep me from feeling dull, and Waddy +says what a pleasant thing it is to have my organ and choir practice +as a recreation. And you quite expect me to go on living like this for +years! It's just stagnation of soul and body, that's what it is. And +God in heaven looks down, and wonders when I'm going to begin to live!" + +Thorold was not shocked at this outburst. He was surprised, but he +concealed that, and said in his slow voice: + +"And what is your idea of life? You have mentioned God Almighty's name, +and I know you have not used it in mockery. Is it your idea to carry +out His will or your own?" + +"Oh, I don't know, but He has made me, I do believe, for something +better than this. What a big world it is! And how much there is to +do. Sir Gilbert talks to me about Heaven's purposes, and the earth's +failures. I have brains, and strength, and leisure, and I can't sit +about in armchairs and just be comfortable—I'm too young for it. And I +have an uncomfortable feeling that I'm living on Waddy's savings. She +always tells me there's plenty of money for our needs. But where does +it come from? I don't earn enough to keep the house going. Miss Anne is +very generous, and I shall be able to support myself on what she gives +me, but I shan't be able to save much. And my life is too easy, and +empty, and narrow. There now! That's the gist of the matter! I shall +break away soon—I must. It's the Bubble's efforts to soar, before it +bursts!" + +"But you have had one effort to break away, haven't you? And it wasn't +altogether a success." + +"I knew that would come. I have failed. I own it. It is your nasty +English people that have made me fail. But there are other vocations +besides driving motors." + +"I fear you are tired of it by now." + +Laughter came into her eyes. + +"Oh, I'm an awful creature, I know I am. Two days ago I was enchanted +with this fresh job. I am cross to-day because I must make my car's +speed match a horse's. But, all the same, deep down, I know my soul is +meant to do something bigger. And I want to find out the biggest and +best thing to do, and then DO it!" + +"There are different estimates of size, I fancy," said Thorold. "We +are like the children who think an orange in their hand much bigger +than the brightest planet in the heavens. Our big things are so +infinitesimal in God's eyes, and His big things are paltry and small in +our estimation." + +"That doesn't comfort or guide me in the least," said Gentian, looking +at him thoughtfully. + +"If you want to fulfil God's purpose for you, it will be shown you. +Pray, and the answer will come." + +Gentian drew in a long breath. + +"I never thought that you were quite so good, Cousin Thorold," she +said in a light and airy voice. "Thank you so much for having taken me +seriously for once. I've had enough—" + +He smiled at her. + +"I'll say no more then—" + +He got up from the seat. Gentian accompanied him as far as the gate. + +"I have one of my young brothers coming home on leave," Thorold said +as he wished her good-bye. "He's in the navy; he comes to me next +Thursday. I think you'll like him. Godwin is a sunny-hearted youngster." + +Gentian rounded her lips into a small ball. + +"Boys are so boring," she said; "they always think such a lot of +themselves." + +"I have known girls who do the same," said Thorold, and with this +parting shot, he left her. + +Gentian went indoors to Miss Ward. + +"Do you know I was within an ace of liking Cousin Thorold," she said; +"and then he lapsed into his annoying way of talking, and I feel as if +I never want to see him again!" + +"My dear Gentian, you are never of the same mind about anything or +anybody for two minutes together. I often wonder why you put up with me +as you do." + +"Waddy dear, you knew and loved my little mother. I have no one in the +wide world left to love me but you, and I think you do just a little—" + +Miss Ward looked at her affectionately, but she was not a demonstrative +woman, and it wasn't till Gentian stole up softly to her and put her +arms round her neck, looking into her eyes with such wistful longing, +that she gave her the warm kiss she was expecting. + +"Plenty of people will come along and love you, child, if you let them. +I am getting an old woman, and my life will soon be over, but yours is +all in front of you—and you'll never have to complain of being unloved, +I am sure!" + +"Do I think a lot of myself, Waddy?" + +"Yes, I think you do." + +Gentian hugged her. + +"You are a dear old truth-teller. You see, I really have no one to +think about but myself. And it is astonishing how fond all people are +of themselves. I believe you are, but you don't show it. Of course I +have to think about myself, because my future is in my own hands, I +suppose. I can make or mar it, can't I? And I want to get the best out +of life. I must—I will. And it's my will that must be kept up to the +mark— + + "'The souls of women are so small + That some believe they've none at all. + Or if they have, like cripples still, + They've but one faculty, the WILL!' + +"Some nasty man wrote that. Oh, Waddy dear, you're quite right. I'm one +thing one day, and another the next. My small soul is like a bag of +scraps, crammed full of rubbish, bits of good material mixed with the +bad, and never properly sorted out. Now I'm going to water the garden. +Good-bye." + +She flashed out of the room and into the garden. + +Miss Ward heard her breaking into song as she wielded her watering-pot, +and she sighed heavily. + +"I wish I did not love her so much," she murmured; "she needs a firmer +hand, and some one to teach her discipline and self-control." + + +It was not very long before Gentian met young Godwin Holt. He arrived +like a fresh sea-breeze, and made friends at once with Miss Ward and +Gentian. He was a fair, curly-haired young lieutenant, with fresh +complexion and mischievous blue eyes. He was very susceptible to all +women's influences, and fell headlong in love with Gentian at first +sight. + +She treated him as if he were a schoolboy on holiday. Thorold watched +their intimacy with quiet amusement. + +One morning Godwin arrived at the Cottage at breakfast time. + +"Look here," he said breathlessly; "can you 'phone to your old lady, +Miss Brendon, to spare you to-day? We'll take a car—not yours—because +it's my affair, and go down to the New Forest. You've never been there? +Thought not. We'll lunch at one of the inns in the Forest. I'm going to +drag Thor away from his books and writing. Miss Ward, you'll come too. +Must have an even number. It's a shame to let this topping weather go +by without doing something. I see so little green at sea that I revel +in forests. And you ought to know what England produces in that way!" + +"I can't spring it on Miss Buchan so late in the day," said Gentian, +her eyes sparkling at the thought of such an outing. "Won't to-morrow +do? I'm rather afraid she won't like it." + +"You can easily get a substitute to take your place. I'll find one for +you in an hour—" + +"I'll try," said Gentian, "but we've no 'phone—" + +"Thor has. Come on over." + +He dragged her off with him. + + +The 'phone was in Thorold's study. + +Gentian looked at him pleadingly. + +"Don't tell me I'm a shirker. I've driven her for ten days now at a +snail's pace. And she might give me one day off." + +"You'd better ask for Miss Horatia. The old lady will never use the +'phone." + +So Miss Horatia was called up. + +She received Gentian's suggestion with great coldness. + +"My sister does not like to be deprived of her afternoon drive, and +I know she won't hear of a substitute. That is out of the question. +She is far too nervous of cars at present to have a strange driver. +Besides, she has arranged to go and see an old friend of hers this +afternoon." + +"Could I have to-morrow off then?" + +"I will see—" + +"Oh, chuck them," cried Godwin. "You aren't a slavey." + +"I'm earning my daily bread," said Gentian in a dignified tone; "and +I'm in her employ." + +They waited rather impatiently. Miss Horatia returned in about ten +minutes' time. + +"My sister has agreed to forgo her drive to-morrow." + +"A thousand thanks. I will be round at the usual time this afternoon." + +"Won't to-morrow do as well?" asked Thorold, looking at his young +brother's disappointed face. + +"Oh, I hate to-morrows—always have—" + +"So have I," said Gentian, "but we'll make the best of it. I shall love +to see the New Forest. But do let us take my car, and let me drive. +That will be half the fun." + +"Do you want me to hire you?" asked Godwin. "For I mean to stand the +treat." + +"You can pay for the oil we use, if you like, nothing more." + +Godwin frowned. + +"I hate the independence of girls nowadays. You ought not to know how +to drive!" + +Gentian laughed. + +"That is the style of the old-fashioned English gentlemen. Of course +you take after your brother!" + +"No man, if he's a decent sort, likes to see girls roughing it." + +"You would like me in a white muslin gown lying back amongst the +cushions of the car sighing plaintively: 'Please not quite so fast, +driver, the wind is too strong upon my face, the motion shakes me—' +That's what my old lady says to me, and I long to scorch for all I'm +worth." + +"What time shall we start?" said Godwin, wisely turning the subject. "I +vote for eight o'clock. It will be a long run." + +"I think," said Thorold slowly, looking at Gentian as he spoke, "that +we'll have our own car, Godwin. It will give Gentian a rest. She shall +lie back on comfortable cushions for once in her life, and then we +shan't see those tired lines about her eyes that so often come there." + +"You are very rude, Cousin Thorold." + +"Miss Brendon couldn't look fitter than she does, but all the same, +I'm with you, Thor. It will be my treat and my car, and I'll choose a +capable driver." + +Gentian laughed. Her laughter had such an infectious and delightful +ripple in it, that both brothers smiled at her. + +"As I'm to be your guest," she said, "I have nothing to say but a +very grateful 'thank you.' And, if we rumbled along in a donkey-cart, +I should enjoy myself. I love a jaunt of any sort, it reminds me of +Italy. Waddy and I are too poor to take many in England." + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE DAY IN THE NEW FOREST + +THE day for the New Forest dawned very brightly. Gentian was radiantly +happy, and she and Godwin were like two children in their whole-hearted +enjoyment of every hour. There was no lack of conversation during the +run. She and Godwin chattered away together, Thorold occasionally +joining in. Miss Ward for the most part took her pleasure in silence. + +It was a perfect day for seeing the Forest. A gentle breeze kept the +air cool. The green glades under the magnificent old oaks and beeches +seemed like an enchanted country to Gentian. They had lunch at a +picturesque old inn, and then she and Godwin wandered off to find the +tree under which William Rufus was killed. + +"I wish I was a gipsy," sighed Gentian; "I am sure a nomad wandering +life would suit me. Women ought not to have such a dull time as they +do. Look at you, now! You go over the seas and round the world and see +a little of everything; and I am told I ought to be content to stay in +my small corner for life." + +"You'd long to find a corner to stick in if you were a sailor. I'm +looking forward to a snug little home of my own one day." + +"With a wife shut up in it all the year round," said Gentian, mischief +in her eyes. "I know what a sailor's wife is. I knew two in Italy. One +had come out there by doctor's orders. She said the loneliness of her +home when her husband was at sea was more than she could stand." + +"Oh," said Godwin, "I would have my wife meet me at different ports. +I'd keep her lively. You bet I would. Don't disparage sailors, Miss +Brendon. You'll send me into the blues if you do—" + +They were sitting down in the bracken at the foot of an old oak. +Gentian leant her back against the gnarled trunk and looked up dreamily +into the green foliage above. + +"A bird must be so happy," she observed. "It has command of the earth +and air, and no one can prevent it soaring away from disagreeables when +it chooses." + +"You ought to have no disagreeables in your life," said Godwin. "You +want a husband to shoulder all difficulties, and keep you safe and +happy." + +"I don't think men are fond of shouldering women's burdens," said +Gentian reflectively; "when I go about in the village, and see how all +the strain and work falls on the poor wife, who is on her feet from +early morning to late at night, mending and making and cooking for her +lord and master, as well as her children, it makes me feel that the +man's lot in life is the comfortable one." + +"Yes, but in our class things are slightly different. Do you think I +would let my wife slave for me? Never—" + +Then he put his hand softly over hers. + +"I would always joyfully shoulder your burdens for you. Don't you know +that?" + +"But I haven't any," said Gentian, laughing as she quietly slipped +her hand away. "Oh, look, isn't that a squirrel above us? The little +darling! He has an acorn, I believe, in his paws." + +"I expect he has a nest up there. I'll just see." + +The squirrel had disappeared under a big branch. Godwin felt that the +moment had not come for him, so he was willing to change the subject. +In an instant he had thrown off his coat and sprung up on a low-lying +branch. The old tree would have been easy for a child to climb, but he +was quite unprepared to have Gentian following him. She was as agile as +he, and when they failed to trace the squirrel's home, they sat astride +a big branch and laughed at each other. + +"I haven't climbed trees for years," she said; "what fun it is. And how +shocked Waddy would be if she were to see me!" + +"She's deep in 'The Times.' Thor has ungallantly left her—he's mooning +round on his own—collecting beetles, I expect. He was always great on +natural history." + +"Isn't it delicious to be off the ground? It's the nearest approach to +a bird, sitting up here out of sight." + +A sudden gale of wind sprang up. Gentian's hat was off her head. In +reaching out to catch it, she overbalanced herself and fell with a +heavy thud upon the grass below. Godwin was down from the tree in a +moment. + +"Are you hurt? Darling Gentian, speak!" + +"You needn't call me darling," murmured Gentian; "I am not dead yet." + +She sat up. No bones were broken, but she had a cut one side of her +forehead, against a projecting bit of root in the ground, and it was +bleeding profusely. Godwin was in an awful state of mind. He took out +his handkerchief, and was in the act of binding it up when Thorold +suddenly appeared. + +"I heard a crash," he said; "and thought there must be an accident." + +Gentian turned impatiently from Godwin towards him. + +"You do it," she said, "I would rather you did." + +Godwin looked hurt, but taking a flask out of his pocket, Thorold bade +him fetch some water from a stream near. In a few minutes the bleeding +was staunched, and her head neatly bound up, but Gentian felt dizzy and +faint. She persisted in walking back to the car, and Thorold's arm was +taken, not Godwin's. Miss Ward, who was sitting in it under the shade +of a chestnut tree, made her comfortable at once, and then they decided +to go to the nearest town, and get a doctor to look at it. + +"It shan't spoil our day," said Gentian. "I'm feeling all right again." + +"What were you doing, dear?" + +"Trying to imagine myself a bird, Waddy. Pride must have a fall." + +"You might have been killed," said Godwin. + +He looked white and shaken. His brother glanced at him curiously, but +made no remark. + +At the very entrance to the next village they were fortunate enough to +come to a doctor's house. The brass plate on the gate told its tale. +They were still more fortunate to find the doctor at home, and he very +soon plastered up the cut, and reassured Miss Ward about it. + +"It's only a surface wound," he said; "and her head is a little +bruised. She is lucky to have escaped so easily." + +"My accident mustn't shorten our day out," said Gentian, when they were +in the car again. "I'm quite well. Do please let us do more of the +Forest." + +So they turned once again into the Forest, and drove through it to the +place they had arranged to have tea. But Godwin's spirits had visibly +declined; his eyes never left Gentian's face, and she noticed and +resented the change in him. + +"Why do you make such big eyes at me!" she exclaimed at last. "You +needn't be glum and cross, because I made a fool of myself." + +They had just left the car when she made this remark. Thorold and Miss +Ward had gone into the hotel to order tea. + +"Oh," he cried, "you don't realize what it meant to me—seeing you fall +like that—you might have been killed on the spot! And I'm afraid even +now that you are more hurt than you make out. You must be! I expect +you'll feel it to-morrow." + +"Thank you for your cheerful comfort! You sound like an old lady +talking!" + +A red flush mounted in Godwin's fair cheeks. + +"No man would dare to say that to me," he said quickly. + +Gentian gave one of her rippling laughs. + +"That's how I like to see you. I wanted to get a rise out of you. It's +very nice of you to be so interested in me, but I'd much rather you +forgot all about me and told me some more of your sea yarns." + +"Interested in you!" Godwin exclaimed. "I—I love you, Gentian—I +wouldn't have any hurt happen to your little finger if I could help it. +I feel I could die for you, and yet you wouldn't let me touch you when +you were so hurt! You turned to Thor instead!" + +They were standing on a balcony outside the hotel. In the distance +the golden sun slanted across the old forest trees. It was only five +o'clock, but there seemed already that preliminary hush before evening, +when the active birds retire, wearied, to their beds, in the thick +leafy trees, and the butterflies and bees creep to their respective +lairs, giving place to the countless midges and mosquitos which haunt +the evening air. + +"I always turn to Cousin Thorold when I'm in trouble," Gentian said in +a quiet dignified tone. The pink colour was coming into her cheeks. + +Godwin pressed closer to her, and took possession of her hands. + +"I don't want you to turn to any one except me when I am by your side," +he said in a low passionate tone. "Gentian, tell me you care for me a +little. I can't expect you to love ice as I love you. There's nothing +in me to attract you, I daresay. You're an enchanting, adorable angel. +But I've an honest heart to offer you. And your happiness will be +always my first thought." + +"Oh, please stop—" + +Gentian's voice was troubled now. + +"I like you very much as a friend, but nothing more. No, you could +never be anything more. You're too young. I feel I know as much as +you do. I've lived as long as you have, you know. We're just about +the same age, aren't we? We won't talk any more about it. And if you +only knew the real me, you'd find me a restless, discontented, selfish +creature. And Waddy says I'm hopeless about housekeeping. I burnt a +cake yesterday which she had made. I shouldn't be an enchanting wife. +Anybody who married me would be bitterly, bitterly disappointed in me. +Don't look so miserable." + +Poor Godwin tried to smile. The softness of Gentian's voice, the +kindness in her eyes, and the pretty little shake of her head as +she mentioned her disabilities as a wife, only aggravated his +disappointment. She had hurt him in his tenderest part, when she had +alluded to his youth. But he choked back his feelings and tried to +speak manfully. In his effort, he adopted rather a truculent tone. + +"As far as my youth goes, that will mend itself. I will wait. I will +come back from my next voyage, and then you may listen to me more +patiently. A man who has seen the world as I have, and who has seen +women and beautiful women, too, of all nationalities, is not to be +easily moved, when once he has made his choice. You won't prevent my +continuing to love you. And sometimes pertinacity conquers! Oh, blow +them! Why can't they keep away!" + +This last spluttering ejaculation was made as Thorold and Miss Ward +appeared. And then Gentian added insult to injury by laughing outright. +She checked herself at once and turned to Miss Ward. + +"Is tea ready? We've been admiring the view—at least, I have. How many +trees do you think are in the Forest? A million?" + +She was the one who talked now. Through tea her tongue never faltered. + +Thorold laughed and teased her as was his wont; Godwin was the only one +who sat silent. + +The drive home was not quite such a success. Gentian was rather +relieved than otherwise when the Cottage was reached. + +She slipped her hand into Godwin's with a little comforting pressure. + +"Cheer up," she whispered to him. "I really am not worth what you think +I am, and it is ungrateful of me to have spoiled the delicious day you +have given us. I shall dream of those old Forest glades. Ever so many +thanks." + +"I am going to cheer up," said Godwin, setting his lips determinedly. +"You are too young to know your own mind. You are still a child—" + +This was a Roland for her Oliver. + +Gentian looked at him with laughing tender eyes. + +"I'm going to keep you as a friend," she said; and then she turned to +Thorold. "Be very nice to your brother to-night, because we've had a +difference of opinion." + +Then she followed Miss Ward into the Cottage, and her smile disappeared. + +"Oh, Waddy dear, I feel as if I've been beaten all over, and my head +aches so I'll go straight to bed. I don't want any supper." + +Miss Ward was full of anxiety and tenderness at once. She hovered over +her till she was safely in bed. As she stooped over to give her a good +night kiss, Gentian put her arms round her neck and hugged her. + +"You're the only real friend I have, Waddy! The others are only friends +for a time. Directly I won't marry them, they cut up rusty." + +And though Miss Ward was told no more, she knew that Godwin had +received his congé. She sighed as she stroked the curly head on the +pillow. + +"I hope the right man will come one day, dear. Now go to sleep, and +that poor head of yours will be better in the morning." + + +Meanwhile Thorold and his young brother reached home, Godwin being +unusually silent and subdued. + +Later on, when they sat over the smoking-room fire, and smoked their +pipes, Godwin gave his brother his confidence. + +"I did think she might listen to me; she almost laughed it off. And +having such a short time here is awfully rotten! But I'm in downright +earnest and she'll find it out. I wish you'd sound her a bit, Thor—she +might listen to you. She dismissed me too lightly. I don't believe she +knows her own mind. I've never seen any one like her. It isn't mere +beauty—it's the light and sparkling fire which seem to be covered over +and hidden most of the time. Oh, she's adorable—bewitching—don't laugh +at me—Don't you think she may relent? I'd give my life for her!" + +Thorold did not smile. There was a tender, almost pitying look in his +eyes, as he looked at the earnest boy beside him. + +"I have known others, Godwin, who were going to make you desperate by +not listening to you." + +"Oh, calf love!" said Godwin hastily. "Don't remind me of those +schoolgirls." + +"One was a young widow—" + +"You're very unpleasant!" + +"Forgive me, my boy—I'm only wondering if Gentian Brendon would hold +your heart for a lifetime. You sailors come and go, and you're apt to +be extra susceptible on shore. She's a girl, I fancy, who will demand +a good deal. You're as restless and emotional as she is. Will you +suit each other? I'm only looking the thing fair and square in the +face. I could wish for a different type of wife for your happiness. +Two impatient, aspiring, eager young souls do not always go happily +together in harness!" + +"That's just clap-trap! I don't put her in the scales and weigh every +mood and attribute that she possesses—I'm in love with her. I'll never +marry anyone else! Never!" + +A silence fell between them, which Thorold broke. + +"She is not unaccustomed to having young fellows in love with her. I +gather from Miss Ward that she has had several proposals already, and I +interviewed one lover who was badly hit. I am only telling you this to +prepare you for the worst. She's a very determined young lady, and will +not easily change her mind." + +"She's a child—a baby—she has no mind to change." + +But Godwin's heart sank within him. He said no more, and retired early +to bed, though not to sleep. + + +Thorold, looking across the breakfast table at him the next morning, +felt very sympathetic towards him. + +"I'll have a talk with Gentian, my boy—and tell you the result." + +"If she won't have anything to do with me, I'll go up to town. I can't +stay on here. The Cliffords want me to stay with them." + +Godwin spoke quietly, but he looked quite miserable. + + +About twelve o'clock, Thorold went off down the road. He heard the +sound of the organ in the little church, and slipped inside to listen. +He was very fond of music, and Gentian was playing so exquisitely that +he sat down just inside the door and lost himself in a dream. When she +had finished, he waited for her in the churchyard. She came down the +path talking to an old man who had been blowing for her. When she saw +Thorold, she smiled and waved her hand to him. + +"Have you come to make tender inquiries after my poor head?" + +"I hope you are none the worse for the accident?" Thorold said gravely. + +"Just a little," replied Gentian. "I'm in a nervy, irritable state of +mind to-day. Waddy annoyed me at breakfast and I was rude to her, so I +came into church to get good again." + +"I want to have a little talk with you," said Thorold. + +"Waddy has gone into the town to shop. Come along in." + +She led the way to the Vicarage. The little room was full of fragrant +roses in china bowls. The low windows were wide open, and the scent of +mignonette and heliotrope came in from the beds outside. + +Gentian took up her position with her back to the fireplace. She +motioned to Thorold to take a seat, but he declined. + +"Not while you stand." + +"Oh, how old-fashioned you are! I never get a chance of looking down +upon you. If I did, it would help me enormously." + +She sat down on the couch, and Thorold took a seat opposite her. Then +he cleared his throat and began: + +"It's a rather delicate subject, but I have really come to you on +Godwin's behalf. He is very unhappy, and is buoyed up with the hope +that possibly you will reconsider your decision." + +Gentian's blue eyes began to sparkle. + +"Well now, honestly, Cousin Thorold, do you advise me to marry such a +boy?" + +There was a little silence. + +"Godwin is a frank, straightforward, good-living lad," said Thorold +slowly and a little heavily. "I don't think he is from a worldly point +of view a good match. But he'll have some money at my death, and—" + +A low ripple of laughter came from Gentian's lips. + +"Please excuse me," she said checking herself. "Do you think my +marriage with your brother will relieve you of a rather tiresome +neighbour? It might for a time, but if you are really interested +in your brother, I wouldn't advise you to urge it. I am positively +certain I should run away from him before I had been married to him a +twelvemonth. And I'm sure you wouldn't like that. It would worry you a +lot." + +"Do not think for a moment that I want to get rid of you." + +Thorold's tone was earnest. + +"Frankly, I have told Godwin that I consider you both too young for +marriage. Not in years, perhaps, but in temperament. Still, I promised +to speak to you. He is under the impression that you may alter your +mind." + +"Now, Cousin Thorold, look me straight in the face and tell me if you +really and truly from the bottom of your heart think that I should make +your brother a good wife? You know I shouldn't. Waddy says I think a +lot of myself. But I know my limitations. It would take much more of +a man than Godwin to have the patience necessary to bear with me. I +think I'm only half-fledged. I'm not sufficiently developed to be a +satisfactory wife for any one. And he hasn't the character to attract +or inspire me. You've done your best, but you're too truthful by nature +to be a good advocate in this case. Tell him you found me a veritable +block of marble, and that nothing in this world would make me ever +think of him in the light of a husband. I'm awfully sorry for you both. +I don't think I'm a marrying sort. I'm sure I shall go on living here +and get old and grey. You won't get rid of me in a hurry." + +Then a dawning look came into her eyes. She clasped her hands round her +knees and gazed out of the window. + +"If I were to marry, the man must be like a rock for steadiness and +reliability; he must never fail me, never deceive me, never disappoint +me. And his soul must be the strongest part of him just as it is the +weakest part of me. It would be rather a one-sided bargain, wouldn't +it?" + +She jumped up from her seat suddenly. + +"And now we have done with the subject, haven't we? Do come out and eat +a few strawberries with me. We have such stunning ones just now." + +But Thorold shook his head, and went thoughtfully back to his young +brother. + +Why was he so devoutly thankful that Gentian did not want to be his +sister-in-law? + +Godwin listened to his brother's account of the interview with a moody +face. + +"I still believe she doesn't know her own mind, but I'm not one to be +begging for snubs on my knees. I'll go up to town to-morrow and—and +forget her if I can." + +"I think that's the best thing you can do," said Thorold gravely. + +So Godwin disappeared, and Gentian seemed perfectly indifferent as to +his existence. She never asked for him, or mentioned his visit. + +And Miss Ward wisely respected her silence, and kept clear of any +reference to that day in the New Forest. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +DARK CLOUDS + +GENTIAN did not see Thorold for some time after this. He went away into +Cornwall to visit an old friend, and though he only meant his visit to +last a week or ten days, it prolonged itself into a month. She missed +him more than she had thought it possible she could. Miss Ward looked +at her in an amused fashion when one day she said rather impatiently +that he ought to be back. + +"Surely you like to be free from any kind of surveillance or influence, +my dear? You are always telling me that Mr. Holt presumes upon his +assumed cousinship." + +"So he does, Waddy, but I do enjoy a scrap sometimes. It's so dull when +no one opposes me. You are much too gentle, you know. It isn't much fun +to fight a feather!" + +"Is that what I am?" + +"Oh, don't look hurt! You're an angel." + +"I don't fancy," Miss Ward said slowly, "that Mr. Holt will always stay +here. He has said several times to me lately that he is feeling lazy +and self-indulgent, and that he is not old enough to live the life he +is doing." + +"Why, what other life could he live?" Gentian looked startled. "He's on +ever so many philanthropic councils and committees, and always busy. +How could he go away from his house? It's his own, and every one says +he deserves the rest he is having. He has earned it they say." + +"I suppose he does seem old to you—but he doesn't to me. I rather agree +with him. He is a man of exceptional ability, and there is very little +real work to occupy him here." + +"Oh, Waddy, what stuff you are talking! People don't want work when +they have money." + +"You are very young, my child. Money supplies the needs of the body, +not of the mind and soul." + +"I'm not going to argue the point," said Gentian laughing; "you do +love to put me in my place, Waddy, just under your feet, where if I do +attempt a rise, you give me a firm pat down again. I know this much, +that you and I could do with more money. My mind needs books, and +intellectual entertainment, and a more crowded atmosphere to make it +work properly. I think Cousin Thorold is the only one who stimulates +me to think, and if he went away, I believe I should march after him! +Don't look so horrified! I disliked him intensely when we first came +here, but he has a way of impressing himself—his individuality you +would say—upon you, which makes his absence quite a blank. Don't let us +talk any more about him. I'm pretty certain he doesn't want to uproot +himself from here—" + +Gentian had perplexed and puzzled Miss Ward all her life, but perhaps +never more than now. She seemed to have fits of preoccupation and +moodiness, alternated with reckless gaiety and irresponsibility. + + +Miss Ward was more relieved than otherwise when Gentian came home one +day and announced with glee that she was going to take the Miss Buchans +up to Scotland in the car. + +"We shall be gone three weeks or a month; they'll pay all my expenses. +Isn't it too enchanting! We've been looking out a tour—up the +Caledonian Canal. I've seen pictures of it—a perfect dream, through +Braemar, and we shall end in the Trossachs—taking Edinburgh and Perth +by the way. Oh, Waddy, if ever I shall have a good time, it will be +now!" + +"I wonder they trust themselves to you—I hope you'll do it by easy +stages. It will be too much for you otherwise. I don't know that I +altogether approve. But I suppose they will look after you." + +Gentian laughed and scoffed at this last idea. + +"I am going to look after them. It is a triumph for me. Miss Horatia +said when I first went to them that she would never go in a car as long +as she had a horse, but she's actually coming with us. Can't trust me +with Miss Anne; she pretends she's making herself into a martyr, but +I believe she'll enjoy it as much as I shall. The Scotch all seem to +think their country is the most wonderful in the world, and they want +to go and see the part to which they belong. Miss Anne is quite keen +to go. She's always talking about the Scotch air in the Highlands. I +laugh when I think that Miss Anne was so nervous when I began, that +she wouldn't let me drive through the high street on market day! How +delighted you will be to get rid of me, Waddy! It will be a peaceful +holiday for you." + +Miss Ward shook her head. + +"I shall be anxious till I get you back again under my wing. I never +have confidence in these cars." But she made no more objection, saw +that Gentian had plenty of warm clothes for the tour, and packed all +her belongings with her own hands. + + +The house was certainly very quiet when she had gone. Her letters were +Miss Ward's greatest comfort. She wrote in the highest spirits, and +beyond one or two slight mishaps, the tour seemed a great success. + +Thorold was back before Gentian was, but he seemed strangely absorbed +when Miss Ward met him, and did not come to the house as often as was +his custom. + +The days were closing in before Gentian returned. She sent a wire the +day she expected to arrive, and turned up at the Cottage about seven +o'clock one evening. Miss Ward was relieved to see her looking fit +and well, though she thought her thinner—and Gentian took it as a +compliment when she said so. + +"I do dislike to be plump," she said; "and I can assure you I've kept +them on the go the whole time. But they've thoroughly enjoyed it, and +so have I. Only they say they've had enough of the car for the present, +and have given me a fortnight's holiday. What shall we do, Waddy? Is +Cousin Thor home? Wasn't it queer? We ran up against a daughter of +the man he is staying with! She had just arrived in Edinburgh when we +were leaving. Her father is a rector down in Cornwall. Such a handsome +girl! But we didn't cotton to each other. She talked of Cousin Thor in +a patronizing, appropriative kind of way. Said he was a thorough good +sort, and that she and he had a lot in common, and it was nice to think +of having him as a possible neighbour soon. Now what did she mean by +that? I didn't let her see I was curious, but I am most dreadfully and +painfully so. Are you in his confidence? Before I went away you spoke +as if he might be leaving us." + +"It was only conjecture, my dear. I know nothing, and have hardly seen +him to speak to since he came back." + +"Oh, well, I'll ask him straight out. He'll tell me. Men can never keep +a secret." + +And the very next afternoon Thorold appeared and found Gentian +comfortably settled by the fire with a book. Miss Ward was out in the +village doing a little shopping at the general shop there. + +"Well," he said; "you're back again. Had a good time?" + +"A heavenly one! And you?" + +Thorold drew up a chair to the fire, and rubbed his hands together, +looking reflectively into the glowing coals. + +"I'm very glad I went down, very. I've come to rather a momentous +decision. We've sometimes had talks together about work in life, +haven't we? You rubbed it in one day when you talked of wanting to do +something with your life." + +"Yes," said Gentian, twinkling her eyes as she looked at him, "but you +discouraged me. I must always be content to stay where I am and do what +I'm bid—I am too young to strike out a new line for myself." + +He smiled. "I think you are at present. But it's a different case +with me. Dick Muir, my friend in Cornwall, opened a door to me. You +know I'm a bit of a Socialist. I believe in sharing good things with +those who are without them, and the people all round him are in an +awfully bad way. No work—no money—no hope for better times. As their +parson, he feels it—and he can do so little to help. The long and +short is—I'm going to open up a mine there to provide work. I have the +money to do it, for an investment I made some time ago has proved very +remunerative. What's the good of living in idleness and luxury when +others are starving? It isn't the life anyone but the helpless and aged +ought to live. And I've strength and brain for a long time yet, I'm +hoping." + +Gentian's blue eyes were big with interest and concern. + +"I don't know anything about mines," she said, "except that they're +down in the earth. Will you be a miner? You don't live in idleness, +Cousin Thorold. Mr. Wharnecliffe says you're taking the first rest +you've had in your life!" + +"Oh, I've had my rest right enough. The mines have been closed down—the +owners found them a losing concern, but they got into difficulties +through want of capital." + +"Then you may lose, too, if you put your money in it, and then what +would you do?" + +"It wouldn't hurt me if I did. I have no one dependent on me now. But +I don't think I shall lose. Anyway, I'm going to take the risk. I've +been talking to an expert down there. The mines were not developed far +enough. They stopped short when they ought to have gone on. It would +give work to hundreds. That's worth thinking about in these days." + +"Well, they'll only want your money, not yourself," said Gentian +serenely. "You'll go on living here, won't you?" + +Thorold shook his head. + +"No, I want to be part and parcel of the concern; my own manager by and +by. I shall sell up here and live in quite a small way down there at +first. But I want to start it personally and get in touch with those I +employ." + +Gentian was silent. + +Thorold looked at her with his kind, thoughtful eyes. + +"It won't make any difference to you and Miss Ward," he said; "you'll +go on living here just the same. I shan't sell the Vicarage. And you +will be freed from my unwarranted interference in your doings!" + +He smiled as he spoke, but Gentian did not smile. + +"You've made such a substantial background to our life here, that I +don't know what we shall feel like without you." + +"A background can very easily be dispensed with," he said lightly. + +"I am afraid I am very rude to call you a background," said Gentian, +looking at him contritely. "And I don't think it quite describes you. +You are too aggressive for that!" + +"I'm generally considered a very mild-mannered man." + +Gentian laughed, and her face cleared. + +"I like you better than I did," she said; "and if I get very dull here +having no one to contradict me, I shall drag Waddy off to Cornwall +and take some lodgings just over your mines, and watch you trying to +turn yourself into a miner or mine-owner. Do you know I have been to +Scotland; and in Edinburgh I met a Miss Frances Muir, a great friend of +yours?" + +"Did you meet her? How strange! She's a nice girl. I'm her godfather." + +Miss Ward came back at this moment, and she had to be told the news. +She took it quietly, but she had a strange sinking of heart when she +realized that she would no longer be able to appeal to Thorold for +advice. She had certainly leant upon him more than she had ever done +upon anyone before. + +Thorold's news soon spread. Mrs. Wharnecliffe had known all about it +from the beginning, and she highly disapproved of the step. + +"He will lose his money, and his health, and die in the workhouse," she +told her husband. "Why is it that some people will never take their +rest in this world? I almost wish he had not come into money. I might +have known it would never do him any lasting good!" + +"I think it's a fine thing of him to do," said her husband. "I wish a +few more moneyed folk would open up some Cornish mines. I've been told +the land is rich with untold wealth below the surface, and anyone who +gives employment, to our honest poor in these days is a benefactor." + + +Before the winter came, Thorold's house was for sale, and he was saying +good-bye to his friends. + +"You can't have got your mines ready yet to work," said Gentian, when +he paid his farewell visit to her. + +"No, but I want to know my manager and the people round, and every +detail of the work if I can." + +"You'll work yourself to death." She looked up at him with troubled +eyes. + +Thorold would not meet those blue eyes. He seemed nervous and ill at +ease. + +"If anything goes wrong here," he said, suddenly turning to Miss Ward, +"be sure to let me know." + +"What could go wrong?" said Gentian, giving a funny little laugh. "I +shall only drive my car, and play my organ, and worry Waddy to death! +Life is very monotonous. I shall try hard and make it hum if I can, but +I'm getting rather tired of this part of the world. If only I could +make a little more money, we might go back to Italy." + +"That is out of the question," Miss Ward said sharply. + +"We won't consider this a long farewell," said Thorold in a cheerful +tone. + +He took Gentian's hand in his. + +She gave him a quick little grip, then pulled her hand away and whisked +round to the window. + +"It's raining," she said. "Even the sky is weeping at the thought of +losing you." + +But when Thorold went out at the hall door, there was a moist drop on +his hand which had not fallen from the skies. And his lips compressed +themselves together as he strode out into the wet. + +"She hasn't had her chance yet. I'm an old fool—much, much too dull +and old, to think of such a thing. But I'm glad the child likes me a +little. I never thought she would." + +He had not been in Cornwall many days before he got a letter from +Gentian. + + "My DEAR COUSIN THOROLD,— + + "Cousins can write to each other, can't they? And I want some safety +valve—else I shall have spontaneous combustion. You told us to let +you know if anything is wrong, and something is very wrong with me. I +really don't think I can go on living here. Mrs. Wharnecliffe has shut +up her house and gone to London. Sir Gilbert has gone off to Cannes. +Miss Horatia is hunting and thinks and talks of nothing else. I wander +up and down the road and look at your empty house. We hear some one has +bought it—a single woman, they say, but she hasn't yet appeared. Your +English winters are loathsome. Rain and mud, mud and rain—black skies, +dead trees and hedges, and cold as the North Pole. How can you expect +us to thrive without any sun? Miss Anne is in for the winter—at least, +she is in unless we get a mild, sunny day. Instead of driving her out, +I go over and read to her. That's the only nice time in my day. She +gets books down from Mudie's and I live in them from three to four +every afternoon. Do write and say what you're doing and where you are +living, and if Miss Frances Muir has taken possession of you. And do, +do find out a big piece of work—real work for me to do, with a very +big W. + + "Women can do anything nowadays—but there seems nothing that just suits +me. I'm getting almost tired of my car, and I want to do something +big—and worth living for. I'm praying for something to be sent to me. I +know you believe in prayer. I wish I could lead a Crusade, or something +of that sort. I want to do something that will call out all my powers +of soul as well as of my body. You see how the poor Bubble wants to +soar! And Waddy is trying to fasten me down with string to the earth. +String composed of Convention and Caution and Contentment, three C's +that I snap and break in fury. + + "Write me a long letter and cheer me up. + + "YOUR POOR DISTRACTED BUBBLE." + +But before Thorold could reply to this, Gentian's prayers were answered +in a way that she little expected. + +It was a cold grey afternoon in December. Gentian was returning in her +car from the Mount where she had been reading to Miss Anne. As she +neared the Vicarage she saw a car with lights standing outside the gate. + +Jumping out of her own car, she met the doctor who lived near coming +down the path. + +"Dr. Wild, what is the matter?" she cried out. + +He looked at her gravely as he pulled on his gloves. + +"It's your friend—Miss Ward. I fortunately happened to be passing when +your small maid called me in. I'll come back into the house with you. I +think you'll have to have a nurse." + +"Oh," cried Gentian, "tell me quickly. Is it an accident?" + +"No—it's a seizure, and a bad one. Your maid found her unconscious, and +she's unconscious still. Was she quite well when you saw her last?" + +But Gentian had dashed upstairs. She could hardly believe it to be +true, and flung herself on the bed by Miss Ward's unconscious figure. + +"Waddy, dearest Waddy, speak to me, speak! Oh, what can have happened +to you!" + +She was so unused to illness, and the shock was so sudden, that she was +almost beside herself. + +Dr. Wild got her out of the room and talked to her quietly downstairs, +and in a short time she had regained her self-control. + +"She was quite well when I left her this afternoon. She had been +complaining of her head these last few days, but I thought it was only +one of her ordinary headaches. We can't afford a nurse. I'll nurse her +myself. She's all the world to me!" + +So Gentian talked, but the doctor meant to have his way about a nurse. + +"Have her for a week, and we shall then see how things are going. Has +she ever had an attack like this before?" + +"Never, that I know of. It's awful! What shall we do?" + +"You'll get through all right," he said reassuringly. "I must go now +as I've other patients to see, but I'll look in again this evening and +bring back a nurse with me." + +It seemed like some black dream to poor Gentian. She had never realized +how dependent she was on Miss Ward till now, nor how deep was her +affection for her. + +Dr. Wild was able to bring back a nice capable nurse, and Gentian was +persuaded to go to bed leaving her in charge. But she did not sleep. + +Life, which had seemed so easy before, now presented horrible +possibilities. She felt her own inexperience and irresponsibility. +What would she do without her faithful friend beside her? She had no +experience of housekeeping or money matters. Miss Ward had kept the +house going economically, but comfortably. She would appear the first +thing every morning at Gentian's bedside with a cup of tea and some +daintily cut bread and butter. She tidied her room and drawers, she +cooked, or supervised their village maid, she dusted the rooms and kept +flowers fresh and clean, and mended Gentian's clothes; even darned her +stockings. + +All this the girl had taken as a matter of course. It had been done +during her mother's lifetime. Miss Ward had been nurse, and maid, and +companion, and friend, and chaperon, in turn to her. Now she was lying +unconscious, stricken down in one moment, and the doctor seemed to +think seriously of the case. + + "O God," Gentian prayed, "have pity on me. I can't live without her! +Make her well again, I beseech Thee to do it. I am quite helpless +without her. I have been a selfish pig. I promise Thee I'll try to do +better, and think more of her and less of myself if Thou sparest her!" + +She tossed to and fro on her bed, and rose the next morning unrefreshed +by her night's rest. Kate, the little maid, brought her a cup of tea +with scared eyes. + +"She ain't no better, miss. I've seen nurse. She be just the same, +breathing so loud and hard, it fair frightens me!" + +"Send nurse to me—" + +And so the nurse came, but could give her little comfort. Gentian +dressed and came downstairs, then set to work to keep things going as +usual in the small household. She sent a note to Miss Buchan telling +her what had happened. And then she waited patiently for the doctor's +visit, hoping vainly that he would give her better news. + + + +CHAPTER X + +LEFT ALONE + +IT was a sunny morning towards the end of February. The garden was gay +with spring bulbs, and Gentian stood looking out of the window upon the +bright scene in front of her with wistful lips and sad eyes. Her bright +colour had faded, her face was white and rather strained. She seemed +to be years older, and yet it was barely two months since Miss Ward +had been first taken ill. For those two months Gentian and a nurse had +hardly left the invalid's room. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe had been in and out, and wanted Gentian to come and +stay with her for a little rest, but she firmly refused to leave the +house even for one evening, and every one was surprised to see the +merry, volatile girl, turn into the thoughtful, patient nurse. Gentian +made many mistakes at first, and was rather rebellious and impatient +when she found her earnest prayers for her dear Waddy were not going to +be answered in the way she wished. + +For a few weeks it seemed that Miss Ward would recover; then she had +another seizure, and gradually became unconscious again. + +It was a terrible time for poor Gentian when she was told by the +doctor that there was no longer any hope of recovery. But she remained +steadfastly at her post, tried not to think of the future, and gave up +her whole heart and strength to minister to her friend's needs. + +Just before Miss Ward passed away, she seemed to have a phase of +consciousness. Gentian bent over her lovingly. + +"Waddy, darling, I'm here." + +The sick woman smiled, pointed upwards, and said, with a little effort, +"Home!" Then her eyes closed, and a few moments after, her spirit had +left her tired body and had reached its "Home." + +Gentian was at first like one stunned. Mrs. Wharnecliffe swept down +upon her again, but she would not leave the little house till her +friend was laid to rest in the peaceful churchyard close by, and she +insisted upon presiding at the organ and playing the "Dead March" when +all was over. + +Then Mrs. Wharnecliffe was allowed to have her way, and Gentian +accompanied her home and stayed there for a few days. But she seemed as +if she could not rest. + +"I would rather go home," she told her hostess; "there is a good deal I +must do." + +"My dear child, you cannot continue to live there alone. I wish Thorold +was here; it is most unfortunate that he should be abroad. I have +written to him, and I know he will come as soon as his young brother is +quite convalescent. He always has been the slave of those boys." + +"Godwin has been very ill," said Gentian rebukingly; "when his ship +left him at the hospital in Gibraltar, they did not think he would +live." + +"You know all about it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile. + +"Of course I do. Cousin Thor and I write to each other continually." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at the girl, but said nothing. She was puzzled +herself as to what had better be done with Gentian, now that her +natural protector had left her. + +"If you really want to live on in your present home," she said +presently, "it will be quite easy to find you some nice person as +companion—or somebody of that class to live with you." + +"Thank you," said Gentian, with a little fire in her eye—"I shall not +need anyone to supplant dear Waddy." + +She had refused to discuss the subject further. She seemed to Mrs. +Wharnecliffe to have suddenly developed into a very remote and +self-reliant young woman. But then Mrs. Wharnecliffe had not seen her +last letter to Thorold, a letter that was causing him to wrinkle his +brows with much perplexity of soul. + + "Oh, Cousin Thor, do you know what has happened? The skies have fallen +on me, my world has gone to pieces, and I am crushed to atoms. My +darling Waddy has left me. I hoped, as you know, that she was going to +get well. But she had another seizure, and she left me without a word, +excepting that she pointed upwards and murmured 'Home.' What does a +girl do when her comforter, and mentor, and prop, and refuge is taken +from her? Waddy filled my mother's place, she was my safety valve, she +circled me with attentions and ministrations and love. I thought I was +independent and self-reliant. Just as much as a limpet is independent +of its rock! And I am rebellious, and desolate, and absolutely at the +end of everything. What am I to do? How am I to live? I don't promise +to do a single thing you say, but you must write to me at once—sheets, +please! And inspire me with a desire to live, and imbue me with some +fraction of courage—and tell me what I ought to be thinking, and +saying, and doing. I am so frightfully unprepared for this awful blow. +You are never unprepared for anything. But all the same I don't believe +you can say anything that will bring me the least ray of light or +comfort. + + "I'm trying to be self-controlled. I say to myself—'I'll eat my +breakfast, I'll take a walk—I'll order dinner and eat it. I'll darn my +stockings and mend the household linen, and do all the things I most +dislike, until tea comes, and then I'll take another walk, and then +I'll eat my supper; and then I'll go to bed, and I'll go round and +round this treadmill till I die, but never shall I feel happy and gay +and young again.' + + "There's one thing I can't do. I can't go into church and play my +beloved organ. I did it for her funeral, but I shudder at the thought +of touching it again. And I think my nerves have gone to pieces. I feel +if I took 'Mousie' out, I would drive myself into eternity. I daren't +trust myself at her wheel. I daren't go over to the Miss Buchans yet. I +daren't start driving Miss Anne out. So all my favourite pursuits are +gone. + + "This is all about myself, but now I have nobody in the world to love, +or who loves me, so that I shall grow more selfish and egotistical than +ever. Who wouldn't? I'm glad your brother is on the way to recovery. + + "I may say that my religion has all gone to pieces as well as +everything else. God seems nowhere. He hasn't listened to me. I feel He +hasn't cared. He wanted Waddy and He took her, and He doesn't take the +slightest notice of me, or cares for me at all—I have agonized my soul +in prayer to no purpose at all. This is all I have to say. + + "The Bubble at last has burst— + + "YOUR POOR BURST BUBBLE. + + "Are you going to turn me out of the little Vicarage now that Waddy +has gone?" + +It was rather a relief than otherwise to Mrs. Wharnecliffe when +Gentian had left her and returned to the Vicarage. She was concerned +about the girl, but could not comfort her. She marvelled at her still +icy composure, but she was a woman of experience and guessed that +underneath was a depth of grief which she could hardly fathom. + +She had been touched by the faithful love and adoration shown by Miss +Ward to her charge, but she had not realized how much it was returned +by the merry light-hearted girl. + +And now Gentian was home again in the empty house, and was gazing out +upon her flower-beds, wishing that winter would return and be more in +unison with her feelings. + +Kate the little maid had gone to the village on an errand. When the +latch of the gate was lifted, Gentian thought it might be her returning. + +Then a short quick rap on the door made her start, and flush with +sudden excitement. Surely no one but Thorold Holt knocked like that! + +In a moment she was out in the hall and at the door. + +"Oh, Cousin Thor!" was her only exclamation, but seizing him by both +hands she dragged him into the sitting-room. + +He smiled at her as he relieved himself of his light overcoat, then he +seated himself in the big arm-chair by the fire. + +"I wonder if I can do you any good by coming," he said. "I am on my way +back to Cornwall. I arrived last night. The Wharnecliffes are putting +me up." + +Gentian was struggling now for self-control. To her horror, tears were +rising to her eyes. + +In her impulsive fashion she exclaimed: + +"If I cry, take no notice—I feel I would like to lie down on the +hearthrug and sob myself to death." + +Then she drew her hand lightly across her eyes. + +"It is only the sight of you, just the same as ever, sitting there +looking at me—that breaks me down. There! I'm better. It's waste of +time crying whilst you're here. I suppose you have a flying half-hour +to spend with me?" + +"No—I am in no hurry. Can you give me lunch?" + +Gentian flew out of the room. She returned after a short consultation +with Kate in the kitchen. A ray of brightness was in her face. + +Then she sobered down. For some minutes she talked of Miss Ward's last +hours. + +"I wrote to you, but there's nothing like talking," she said, with a +long-drawn breath, when she had told him all. + +"That's what I thought," said Thorold dryly. "I resolved to answer your +letter in person. Shall I begin?" + +"Oh, do—what am I to do? Is there any hope? It all seems so dark." + +"It is a pity you did not live in the Early Christian times," said +Thorold slowly. "What is such a misery to you was such a joy to them! +Have you never, in your life abroad, visited the Catacombs in Rome?" + +"Yes, I did once, but I thought it gruesome." + +"Did you not notice the triumphant joy that was the keynote to all the +inscriptions there?" + +"I noticed nothing. I came out of it as soon as I could. What have the +Catacombs to do with me?" + +"Only that those early Christians took the right course as regards +death. It was a joyful event to all of them, and so ought it to be to +us, and if we love persons very much, we should rejoice in their joy +and not think about ourselves." + +"Ah, now you're coming down from heaven to earth. I knew you would call +me selfish, my letter was a wail of self-misery, but it's just how I +felt! Of course, I hope darling Waddy is happy, but that doesn't alter +my misery—I thought I could live alone, but I find I can't." + +"I quite agree with you." + +"Oh, don't be fixing up some starched old woman to live with me who +will look upon me as an unpleasant duty. After darling Waddy, who +really loved me, anyone, however suitable in your sight, would be a +torture to me." + +There was silence. Then Gentian said appealingly: + +"I know I'm pig-headed and unreasonable. Forgive me, I don't know what +I'm saying, or what I want. I really would like—" + +She paused, and a little bright mischief came into her eye. + +"I would like to come down to Cornwall and keep house for you. You've +made yourself into a kind of guardian of mine. Can't a ward live +with her guardian? That reminds me, I am exceedingly annoyed about +something and I had better have it out with you at once. I have been +looking into our business affairs—my business affairs, I shall have to +say now, and I find that in the banking account which is held jointly +in Waddy's name and mine, there is a certain big quarterly sum which +seems to come from you. What is the meaning of it? I just left all +money matters to Waddy and the dear thing has left a written paper in +which she bequeaths all her hard-earned savings to me. Have you been +supplementing our income ever since we came to live here?" + +"It was an arrangement I made with Miss Ward," said Thorold, fidgeting +in his seat, and looking rather uncomfortable, "we talked it over. I +considered that some of your cousin's money rightfully belonged to you, +and I hope you will let the arrangement stand as it is." + +"I shall do nothing of the sort. I am not going to receive charity from +you." + +Gentian's eyes flashed as she spoke. She looked really angry, then with +her quick silvery moods, she dissolved into a tearful smile. + +"Oh, forgive me! It's more than generous and good of you, but don't +you see my pride or self-respect won't let me take it from you? +Unless—unless—you would let me be your housekeeper in a business +capacity and give me a salary. I really have become quite good at +cooking and keeping house." + +"My dear child," said Thorold hastily, "I don't yet possess a house +in Cornwall. I am living at the Rectory, and I have no housekeeper at +present." + +"But you won't be always at the Rectory? + +"No. I am thinking of taking a small house a couple of miles out of the +village, but I may not do that. It is all uncertain. I am waiting to +see how the mine develops." + +"Well, what is to become of me?" said Gentian, the gloom returning +to her face again. "I think I shall go back to Italy and try to earn +a living there. Nobody wants me, or cares for me in this grey old +England, and I have sunshine in Italy. I expect you'll say I must leave +this little Vicarage, where I have been so happy. I shall have to earn +my living in some way." + +"Have you seen or heard anything of the Miss Buchans?" + +"They wrote their sympathy and asked me to come over and see them. Miss +Horatia called one day, but I was crying my eyes out and I wouldn't +see her. I'm not ready to see people yet. I'm not controlled enough; +at least, it's a strain to be so. I was at Mrs. Wharnecliffe's for a +few days, and was quite glad to get back here again, where I can cry in +peace, and go without my meals if I choose!" + +"Well, I must tell you that Miss Anne Buchan told Mrs. Wharnecliffe +yesterday that she would very much like you to go to her altogether as +a companion as well as a chauffeur. She is one person who is fond of +you. You like her, do you not? You would have a comfortable home with +them." + +Gentian looked at him with grave eyes. + +"So dull, so commonplace," she murmured. "I know you will fix up some +dreary groove for me. And I warn you I shall not stay in it—I suppose I +ought not to care. I ought to be grateful for a roof over my head, and +food to eat, and fires to warm me. I know what your winters are like, +and of course it is good to be sheltered; I suppose it won't matter +where I am or what I do, for I shall be too miserable to care. And I've +lost my faith in God, that's the worst of all." + +"That would be the worst fate of all, if you had," said Thorold +gravely. "But you're in a fog at present and don't realize that the sun +is the other side and will soon shine through." + +"Now, let us leave my fate, and future alone for a bit, and you talk +to me about my soul," said Gentian, crossing her hands in her lap like +a little child, and looking up at him with wistful expectancy. "I know +you're a good man from things you've said to me, but you bottle it all +up inside and won't let yourself go. Be like Sir Gilbert. He talks to +me like an angel. He is not like a stiff, reserved Englishman." + +"Is that what you find me?" + +"No, not when you find fault with me, you're quick enough and sharp +enough then, but you don't let me know what you feel about Paradise, +and God, and the Heavenly Things." + +There was a little silence, then Thorold said suddenly: + +"When I went down to Cornwall I got a new waterproof coat. I was not +sure whether it was as genuine as the shopkeeper stated, I wanted a +storm-proof garment, not a shower-proof one, and I told him so. There +are wild storms round the Cornish coast, and I was soon out in one. +My coat kept me dry, but it needed the storm for me to test it. It +wouldn't have been any good to me if it had only kept the showers off." + +"Now, what on earth are you driving at?" + +"Don't you see that the storms in life ought not to shake our faith in +God? They are test times and sent to us for the purpose. Your religion +is a very flimsy fabric if it will not stand you when trouble comes. +A man learns to know the value of his fireproof safe if a fire takes +place, in a way that he would never know otherwise. What do you think +has happened to your Heavenly Father? Is not He above, ordering all +things still? If He thinks fit to send you trouble and loneliness and +the loss of your friend, ought you not to accept it at His hand? Think +of Job in the first overwhelming moments of his trouble: + + "'What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not +receive evil?' + +"Surely your faith is robust enough, and your love sincere enough, +to trust in the One Who has you in His keeping! I heard some one say +once—'A knife does not only cut to wound but to beautify.' He was +speaking of the gardener's ruthless pruning at times, but go into any +Cathedral and see the effect of the knife and the chisel on the walls +and roofs, making it a building of delight and joy to all who are in +it. You have been touched by the knife now. Is it not going to beautify +your character? Teach you patience and submission, and courage to +endure?" + +"Oh, you are severe! You make me feel so wicked! But I do believe I am, +and it is myself that is all wrong, and God Who is all right!" + +Gentian gazed before her with dreamy thoughtful eyes. Then she got up +from her seat. + +"I don't like long sermons, though I asked you to give me one, but I've +had more than enough. Enough to think over and act up to, and perhaps +one day thank you for! Isn't it like you, not to give me one little +word of pity or of kindness, only stringent, pungent words bracing me +to endure?" + +Thorold had risen from his seat at the same time she had, now he turned +abruptly to the window. His heart was hammering against his side, +his whole soul was longing to take the girl into his arms and keep +her there. He did not know when or how she had stolen her way to his +heart, but she was enshrined there now, and he, in his old-fashioned, +self-sacrificing way was daily trying to persuade himself that he was +too old and dull a personage to mate with such a fresh young flower of +youth. + +When he could gain command of his feelings, he turned back and faced +Gentian, who was regarding him with wistful, puzzled eyes. + +"I do feel for you very much," he said, but his words fell coldly on +the ears of the warmhearted girl. "I hurried off to you as soon as I +could leave my young brother. I am only so sorry that I could not have +been with you sooner." + +"Are you going back to him?" + +"No; he is coming down to me, as soon as he leaves hospital." + +"To the Rectory?" + +"No, I have taken rooms near. He asked to be remembered to you." + +"Thank you." + +"I was to tell you how he sympathizes with you, and that his mind and +heart is as it was. He has not changed." + +Gentian smiled, then impulsively she laid her hand on Thorold's coat +sleeve. + +"Do be nice and ask me down to Cornwall before he comes. I want to +see your mine, and the Rectory, and—and Miss Frances Muir, your +goddaughter, and the house you think of living in." + +"I should like you to see it all," said Thorold heartily; "and as Mrs. +Wharnecliffe wants to do so too, I'll ask her to bring you with her. If +I take the house, I want her advice about the interior decorations. It +has been owned by an old man who let it go to pieces, and it needs a +lot of repairs." + +Kate, the little maid, here interrupted them by saying that lunch was +ready, and Gentian was soon presiding over some mutton chops and apple +tart. She could eat little herself, but she seemed brighter and more +like her old self, and Thorold tried to interest her in Gibraltar, and +told her about the friends Godwin had there. He did not stay long. When +the meal was over, he got up to go and asked her as he was leaving if +she would not go to the Miss Buchans for a time. + +"It is not only for your benefit, but for theirs; you could make Miss +Anne's life much happier and brighter by being with her. There is +nothing like interest in others for easing heart-ache." + +"Oh, I'll go. I suppose I must. And is this dear little house to be +empty again?" + +"Shut it up! Consider it still yours, and leave all your belongings in +it. Come to it when you want to rummage about." + +"Thank you for that small mercy. And the quarterly cheque to the bank +must stop. I only go to Miss Anne on that condition." + +"Very well." + +Then, as he held out his hand to her in farewell greeting, he said: + +"Do you remember saying to me in a letter that you wanted to do +something that would call out all the powers of your soul as well as of +your body? Don't you think the illness and loss of your friend has done +this?" + +"Ah no, indeed! It hasn't. I have failed, entirely failed." + +Tears came to her eyes with a rush. She let them brim over. + +"But I'll try. I'll remember all you've said. The Catacombs, and +the knife, and the waterproof. I'll go over and over them till I've +impressed my subconscious self with them, and they remain with me for +ever. Good-bye, Cousin Thor, and I'm coming down to Cornwall very +soon. Tell Mrs. Wharnecliffe to let me know when she goes. And think +of me sorting out Miss Anne's wools, and getting her footstools and +reading out very goody and improving books; and in the evening, playing +backgammon and card games, and hiding my yawns and my weariness behind +a very smiling countenance." + +"I shall think of you at the piano transporting a weary woman to +the realms of light and beauty—and driving her out, with the spring +awaking all around you. There is much happiness still in store for +you—good-bye." + +He was gone, and Gentian turned back into the empty house with a +feeling of warmth and comfort in her heart that she had not experienced +since Miss Ward had left her. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +A VISIT TO CORNWALL + +LIFE at the moment with the Miss Buchans was at first rather irksome, +but Gentian's nature had its compensation. If she suffered intensely, +she enjoyed intensely, and the little things of life laid hold of her +with an absorbing interest. Miss Horatia's horses and a couple of young +terriers were a perpetual joy to her. One morning Miss Horatia saw +Gentian mounted on one of her hunters which the groom was exercising. +The audacity of it amused her, but when she came to breakfast she took +the girl to task for her rashness. + +"If you want to learn to ride, practise on old Sophy, the grey mare. I +don't want you to break your neck. Rufus is not fit for a novice." + +"I only walked him up and down the avenue. I was out playing with the +dogs, and I couldn't resist mounting when he came by with an empty +saddle on him. Green says I've a born seat on horseback. Do you mind? I +ought to have asked your permission." + +"I won't have you ride my hunters," said Miss Horatia good-naturedly; +"but you can ride out on Sophy if you like." + +Gentian flushed with pleasure. Every morning before breakfast she +accompanied the groom when he exercised the horses. There was a burst +of warm weather, and the hunting had stopped. After breakfast she went +up to Miss Anne's room and read and worked with her, writing some of +her letters, and occasionally going to the town to pay her bills, or to +shop for her. In the afternoon the car was taken out. + +And after tea Gentian was allowed a couple of hours to herself. They +dined at half-past seven, and music and games were the order of most +evenings. Gentian would fly over and pay Mrs. Wharnecliffe a visit +sometimes, and when Sir Gilbert was home again, she went over to him. +Once a week she had her organ practices, for she resumed her organist's +duties on Sundays at the little church, and always put fresh flowers on +the new grave in the little churchyard. + +Very slowly peace was returning to her heart. A long talk with Sir +Gilbert had completed what Thorold had commenced. Gentian could look +up now and take courage. A sharp attack of gout, which laid Mr. +Wharnecliffe up, prevented his wife from going to Cornwall as soon +as she had intended. Gentian was disappointed, but she had learnt to +control her feelings. + +The Miss Buchans were kind, and treated her quite as one of the family, +but their surprised faces when Gentian at first burst into one of her +tirades, showed her that she must put a curb upon her tongue. It was +discipline to which she was not accustomed. She relieved her feelings +by writing long letters to Thorold. + + "I don't care whether you answer me or not, and I give you leave to +tear my letters up directly you have read them, but I have no Waddy +now, and I simply must pour out my heart to some one. You would not +know me. So meek, so quiet, so gentle of tongue am I, so serene and +unaware of all vexations and annoyances! That is the outside me. But +the inside! Ah! It is a boiling cauldron, and a mass of contradictions, +whims and whamsies. + + "I am learning to ride; it is kind of Miss Horatia to let me. I work +off a good many tempers and moods when I am jogging along the roads +with Green, the groom. But when we get to a bit of grass we have a good +canter, and away fly all my black shadows and rebellious feelings! I +come back to the house ready for anything!" + +And then one morning Mrs. Wharnecliffe arrived at the Mount asking the +Miss Buchans if they would allow Gentian to come with her the next day +to Cornwall. + +"We shall only be away the week-end. I am going to put up at the small +inn at Perrancombe. And I shall go down in the car; the trains are so +tedious." + +Miss Anne said she would be willing to spare Gentian, and so it was +settled and the girl went about the house with such a radiant face that +Miss Horatia chaffed her about it. + +"I thought you and Thorold Holt were always sparring with one another. +You have told me that you did not like his interference. Is it a case +of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?" + +"It isn't altogether him," said Gentian confusedly; "it's the sea, and +the mines, and the Cornish people I want to see. Besides, it's a trip +to an unknown place, and I always love that!" + +Then she added with her natural truthfulness: + +"I feel differently about Cousin Thor now; he's a link with the +past—the only link I have; every one has been swept away from me. He's +always a kind of buffer to me, and I miss him. And he has been very +kind to me, hasn't he? I came to England a stranger. Now dear Waddy has +gone, I feel stranger than ever. There isn't a person in the whole wide +world who really belongs to me. How would you feel if you were I?" + +"You'll be able to remedy that one day," said Miss Horatia. + +Miss Anne looked horrified at the insinuation, and Gentian laughed her +merry laugh. + +"I'm not in a hurry to belong to a stranger," she said. + + +The next day came, and proved ideal for motoring. A bright blue sky, +and very little wind. Mrs. Wharnecliffe called for Gentian at ten +o'clock. They sped swiftly along and were both rather silent at first. +Then Gentian began to talk. + +"Do you think it would be impossible for me to live with Cousin Thor +and keep his house for him? He would look after me so very well. You +don't seem to like the idea of my living alone, and I do want a home. +I've always had one. It's all very well being with the Miss Buchans for +a time, but I shan't be able to keep on doing it for ever. I cry over +it when I'm in bed at night. I never felt lonely when Waddy was alive. +I knew she would never leave me, but I'm desperately lonely now." + +"My poor child!" said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, laying her hand softly on the +girl's arm. "I was hoping you were settling down happily. You have your +riding to interest you, and it is a busy, useful life for you." + +"Tell me, if Cousin Thor takes this house, couldn't I live with him in +it? I should love to look after him; he never looks after himself." + +"No; I don't think that plan would work at all," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe +decidedly. "He has never expressed a wish to have you, has he?" + +"Oh, no. I would go like a shot if he did." + +Gentian gave a sigh, then brightened up. + +"Shall I sound him on the subject, or will you?" + +"Thorold has been too long a bachelor to like a woman in his house. She +would embarrass him and be in his way. I tried for a long time to get +him a lady housekeeper, but he would not have it." + +"I dare say," said Gentian gloomily, "that this Miss Muir will marry +him. I don't think he is a bit too old to be married. And a wife would +soon get him out of his old-fashioned bachelor ways." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe could not help laughing. Gentian still talked at +times like a child. She turned the conversation to other subjects, and +Thorold was not mentioned again. + +They arrived at Launceston about two o'clock, and had lunch at an +hotel there. It was between four and five when they reached their +destination. Gentian was charmed with the village in a wooded valley +that ran down to the sea. They heard the thunder and roar of the surf +breaking over the rocks before they came in sight of it. The church +was perched on a hill, and they turned, up a steep lane to get to the +Rectory which was close to it. Just as they came up to a big iron gate +set in the middle of two granite walls, Thorold himself appeared. + +"I've been looking for you for the last hour," he said: "have you had +lunch?" + +"Yes, at Launceston. We've seen no sign of the inn, so came on to ask +you where it was." + +"It isn't in the village, which is good, for you will be quieter away +from the fisher-folk. It is five minutes' drive from here on the high +road which leads across the moor." + +"Come in, and we'll drive on together." + +Thorold slipped into the front seat by the chauffeur, then he looked +back at Gentian and smiled at her. + +"How do you like Cornwall?" + +"It's rather bare and wind-swept," said Gentian, "but the sun on the +sea reminds me of Italy." + +"If we follow this line along, we shall come to the house I want you to +look at, but we'll find the inn first." + +It was a very small place when they reached it—but it looked clean, +and there were flowers in the small garden behind it, which delighted +Gentian's heart. + +They put up the car, then sat down and had tea together. Thorold +told them that his friend the Rector had hoped to give them tea—but +Mrs. Wharnecliffe was tired and wanted a rest. Motoring was not the +exhilarating experience to her that it was to Gentian. + +But in an hour's time she declared she was ready for a walk, and they +sauntered through a sheltered lane which twisted and turned continually +till Gentian said it made her quite giddy. Thorold was able to give +them a good deal of information about his mine. Work was beginning, and +he was very hopeful of the result. + +"Is it tin or copper?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"Tin," said Thorold. + +"No radium about it?" + +He laughed. + +"No, that is only obtainable in the china clay. I am not going to make +my fortune over this, Lallie." + +"If you did, you would only give it away twenty-four hours after you +had got it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +Gentian was rather silent, listening to the talk but not joining in it. +Presently they came in sight of a clump of pines, then a white gate was +seen, and Thorold told them that this was the little house he wished +them to see. They glided down a drive bordered by high tamarisk hedges, +then came to a fair-sized shrubbery of rhododendrons and azaleas, with +a background of trees, and then swept round to the front of the house. + +"What a little darling!" exclaimed Gentian. + +It was a solid granite house with a slate roof, but it was covered from +end to end with creepers. Jasmine and rose, and the sweet-smelling +stentonia, and a big magnolia hid the grey walls from view. There was a +neglected lawn in front of it, with an old sundial in the middle, but +when Gentian jumped out of the car and stood on the doorstep, she gave +an exclamation of surprise and delight. + +The lawn sloped down to green cornfields, and at the bottom of them +lay the blue, shining sea. No trees hid the ocean from their eyes. The +Cornish coast-line stretched away on the right. To the left against the +sky-line was Rame Head, and nearer Tregantle Fort could be dimly seen. + +The house was small and very old. There were casement windows, and the +square stone hall was dark. An old staircase, with solid oak stairs, +went up in the middle of it. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked about her, then opened a door at the back of +the hall and found it led out into a square paved court. + +"Oh," she said, "you must have glass panels in this door to let the +light in, Thorold, and turn this little courtyard into a conservatory. +What is the aspect?" + +"East," said Thorold. "Frances Muir suggested a Dutch garden here." + +"Oh," said Gentian quickly; "then she's been over the house with you?" + +"She's known this house all her life," Thorold responded. + +Gentian said no more, but her quick eyes were taking everything in. She +liked the old-fashioned kitchen and dairies; there were two rooms on +each side of the front door, and a third sitting-room in a side wing. +Upstairs there were five good-sized bedrooms and some attics. Gentian +danced in and out of the empty rooms in her light-hearted fashion; +she loved the oak panelling in the dining-room, and the deep window +recesses. Mrs. Wharnecliffe signified her approval of the house as a +whole. + +"A man won't find it lonely," she said, "but if you were bringing a +wife here, I shouldn't be so content, for I think she would get the +blues. Have you no neighbours?" + +"Oh yes, within driving distance. Do you think it gloomy?" + +He turned to Gentian. + +"Now it is empty it is, but it won't be when it is furnished," said +Gentian, looking about her with dreamy eyes. "I can see it with wood +fires and thick curtains, and music, and books, and flowers." + +Then she laughed. + +"And you in it, Cousin Thor, moving about in your serene, cheerful way, +never ruffled if the soot fell down the chimney and the water-pipes +leaked and the fires smoked. Are you going to keep a car?" + +"No, I'm thinking of a horse." + +"And a man and his wife to look after you," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. +"Thorold, I am afraid you will be buried alive here." + +He smiled and shook his head. + +"I have too many people to consider and to help." + +"Now let us come to your repairs," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "Of course, +you must cut down your creepers, and one or two trees that are too +close to the house, and the shrubberies want cutting back. I should +put a south window in the biggest sitting-room which faces west, then +you'll get plenty of sunshine." + +She went through the rooms again, discussing many possible +improvements. Gentian left them and wandered round the neglected +garden. She followed a little path through the shrubbery which led her +to a rising knoll on which was a seat looking seawards. She sat down +and lapsed into day dreams. + +"I must be getting very old," she mused; "I feel as if I want to settle +down somewhere and stay there. I don't want to career about the world +any more. How peaceful it is here!" + +A thrush was singing in the bushes close to her; there was a sweet +scent of syringa which was not far away; and as she raised her head she +heard a lark singing in the cornfields. A moment after steps approached +her. It was Thorold. + +"I have tracked you at last," he said. "Mrs. Wharnecliffe is on her way +back to the inn; I told her we would follow. What do you think of the +view from here?" + +"I think it is heavenly." + +He sat down on the seat beside her. + +"To-morrow you must come and see the mine. I am in two minds about +taking this house. Dick Muir and his daughter advised me against it. +They want me to remain on with them indefinitely, or else build on a +site which Dick can let me have, but I don't care about doing that. I +would rather take rooms in the village where Godwin was. I don't feel +like starting another house just yet. The mine is a speculation. I may +lose all my money over it." + +"And then you would be a pauper like me," said Gentian cheerfully; "I +wonder how you would like that." + +"I have gone through poverty, child." + +"Yes, I forgot. Forgive me. And I hope with all my heart that your mine +will succeed. I think I would take the house, Cousin Thor, and then you +could invite Mrs. Wharnecliffe and me down to visit you. I would like +to come alone best, but Mrs. Wharnecliffe won't let me hint at such a +thing! I can't fancy you in lodgings; you've always had a nice home. I +only wish I could get the chance of having one." + +Then she stole a look at him through her long eyelashes. + +"I heard from Jim Paget the other day. He's been over the Rocky +Mountains and now is on his way home. He would give me a home, any day. +I might do worse than have him, but I'm afraid we should fight like +cat and dog. Still, I would have a house of my own, and I should love +furnishing it and arranging rooms." + +"Don't marry for a home," said Thorold gravely. "The man must come +first. You would have a miserable life if you did not care for your +husband." + +"Do you think so? It's a funny world. Things happen so contrary. He +likes me, and I don't like him, and yet I may meet somebody else whom +I shall like and he won't like me. I somehow feel as if I shall never +have just what I want. And I think I'm getting dull and old, and I +shan't be at all likeable when my teeth and hair fall out." + +Thorold threw his head back with his quick laugh, as he did when she +amused him. + +"Cheer up, you are not so very ancient yet." + +"Tell me truthfully, do you think I shall make any man a bad wife?" + +Thorold turned to her. Something in his eyes made Gentian catch her +breath. He was about to speak, when round the corner of the shrubbery +path appeared Miss Frances Muir. + +She greeted them delightedly. + +"Here you are! I've been scouring the village for you, for I heard Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, your friend, had returned to the inn. How do you do, Miss +Brendon? We met in Edinburgh, didn't we? How are your old ladies? I +thought them so quaint, especially the horsey one." + +"They are quite well, thank you." + +Gentian's tone was stiff; she resented the Miss Buchans being +criticized. + +"Now, Mr. Holt, you must come home at once. Your manager is at our +house waiting to see you. It's something about the mine, some of the +machinery has gone wrong." + +"Ah!" said Thorold, with a concerned face. "Then my fears are realized. +Gentian, I'm afraid I must leave you. Explain it to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. +I hope to take you over the mine to-morrow, but I must go off with +Dormer at once." + +"I'll take Miss Brendon to the church," said Frances Muir, "that is, +if she is not in a hurry to return to her friend. What do you think of +this little house?" + +"I like it," said Gentian. "I'm in no hurry at all, and should like to +see the church. Has it a nice organ?" + +Thorold smiled. + +"It has a wheezy old harmonium, that is all," he said. + +"It is awful, isn't it?" said Miss Muir. "But I'm not musical, I don't +know one note from another. Our little schoolmistress plays it." + +They were walking along the lane at a good brisk pace, then Thorold +turned up one road and they took another. Gentian was quiet and grave, +as she usually was when she did not feel sure of a person. + +Miss Muir did most of the talking. + +"Dad is so delighted to have Mr. Holt down here. It's making him quite +young again, but we don't approve of that house for him. It's too +desolate and lonely. I'm not going to let him take it if I can help it. +And he would be better the other side of the village near his mine." + +"If I had a mine, I wouldn't want it just outside my windows," said +Gentian, "and Cousin Thor is accustomed to a nice house and has always +lived alone. There aren't any other empty houses about are there?" + +"Oh, he could build. I love planning houses; I always think I should +have made a good architect. He and I spend our evenings in drawing out +plans. I have a lovely one just completed, that would suit all his +requirements." + +"I hate new houses," said Gentian shortly, "they have no tradition or +atmosphere." + +"But you won't be asked to live in it," said Miss Muir laughing. + +Gentian spoke with real temper now: + +"Can't one like or dislike things for one's friends without being +involved in them personally? I don't think I'll go to the church now, +thank you. I'll wait till Cousin Thor can take me. Here's the inn, +good-bye." + +She flashed away from Miss Muir like a bright meteor, and burst in upon +Mrs. Wharnecliffe in impetuous fashion. + +"I dislike Miss Muir very much; I think I hate her," she announced, +flinging her gloves down on the table, and facing her friend with hard, +defiant eyes. + +"What is the matter?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile. + +"Oh, she's what people call 'catty.' She gives herself airs, and thinks +she's going to frame Cousin Thor to her liking." + +"Perhaps she will," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe slowly; "perhaps Thorold has +met his fate in this little Cornish village." + +"I wish him a better fate than that conceited girl," snapped out +Gentian. "I don't believe he likes her a bit. I shall ask him. Fancy! +She doesn't know one note of music from another and doesn't care! +Boasts of it! A person without any love for music is a person without a +soul!" + +"My dear Gentian, don't get so hot over her." + +"But, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, why should she take possession of him as she's +doing? He never knew her before he came here, she's not going to let +him take that house, she says. She wants to build him one of her own +planning." + +"Thorold is not a weak boy, my dear Gentian. He will please himself. +He is a man who has decided opinions of his own, and is not easily +influenced by others, as I have found to my cost." + +"No," said Gentian, suddenly becoming quiet and rather despondent, +"he's like a granite wall, and if you beat your head against him, +you'll only break it, and not hurt him. Sometimes I think Cousin Thor +has no feeling at all! Just once—now and then—very seldom, his eyes +betray him!" + +She stopped herself and relapsed into silence. What did that look +of his mean? And what was he going to say when Miss Muir had so +inopportunely interrupted them? + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe glanced at her anxiously. She never could understand +the girl, but she was fond of her. Her contradictions moods and +irrelevant talk bewildered her. What a creature of impulse she was! +Even her late sorrow had not steadied her, and yet how nobly she had +stood by her sick friend in her last illness! How wonderfully patient +and capable she had become! + +"I think, my dear, you had better go and change your dress. Dinner is +at the early hour of seven here. Thorold was to dine with us. Where has +he gone?" + +"Off to his old mine. There's something gone wrong." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe sighed. "I always feel he will ruin himself over this +project. It is such a risk!" + +Gentian left the room, murmuring to herself: "If she hadn't interrupted +us! Oh, if she only hadn't!" + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THOROLD'S SECRET + +THOROLD appeared just in time for dinner, which was served in a quaint +coffee-room overlooking the garden. + +Gentian, in a filmy black gown which accentuated the fairness of her +neck and arms, began the meal in a quiet, pensive mood. She let Mrs. +Wharnecliffe and Thorold do most of the conversation, and listened to +Thorold's account of some of the difficulties which now beset him. + +"I think we shall get over the present difficulty," he said. "We have +been trying to adapt some of the old machinery; it means a good bit of +extra expense to have new, but we must do so. I have been wondering +whether I have brought you down on a fool's errand, for I doubt if it +will be wise for me at present to take that house. I must go slowly." + +"You must live somewhere," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"A single man doesn't need so much accommodation." + +"Miss Muir doesn't want you to go there," struck in Gentian with rather +a sharp tone in her voice; "she wants you to build one close to the +Rectory and the mine." + +"Yes," said Thorold, with a smile; "Frances thinks I should be too far +away from my work." + +"As if you're going to work in the mine!" said Gentian a little +scornfully. Then the dimples came into her cheeks and she gave a little +laugh. + +"You are becoming like me, Cousin Thor. You're a wobbler. You actually +can't make up your mind. I never knew you had it in you to hesitate or +to change." + +"Oh, I hesitate about lots of things," Thorold replied promptly; "it's +only when we're very young that we're very sure." + +"Well, that isn't a hit at me, for I'm never sure of anything, except +what I want to do at the moment. But I'd like to know what kind of +things you wobble about." + +Thorold looked at her with his whimsical smile. + +"I have considerable hesitation about you and your welfare very often," +he said. + +Gentian looked dumbfounded. + +"Do you think about me very much, Cousin Thor?" she asked demurely. + +"Really, Gentian," expostulated Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "We've wandered away +from our subject of the house. Suppose we get back to that. Where do +you propose living, Thorold? I hope you won't build." + +"No, a new house is perfectly hateful," said Gentian; "I told Miss Muir +so. I should be sorry to live in a house of her planning. She has no +sense of beauty." + +"She's a very clever girl," said Thorold. "Aren't you judging her +rather hastily? About the house: I have the first refusal of it, and I +think in two or three months' time, I shall know how the mine is going +and be better able to judge what I can afford. I shall take rooms in +the village." + +"Yes," said Gentian quickly; "if you stay on at the Rectory you'll +lose all independence. Miss Muir will manage you and all your affairs +completely." + +Thorold shook his head. + +"A good many people have tried to manage me in my life. We'll except +the present company! But it is an experience to which I am well +accustomed, and it doesn't trouble me in the least." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe laughed. + +"We need not have an uneasy thought about him, Gentian. As I told you +he is well able to look after himself. Now don't you think we could +have a walk as it is such a lovely evening? Is the tide in or out? Let +us go down to the sea." + +"It is out, I think," said Thorold. + +"Run and put a warm wrap on, Gentian," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "I have +a much thicker gown than you. We will wait for you in the verandah." + +As the girl disappeared, Mrs. Wharnecliffe took hold of Thorold by the +arm. + +"Now come along, I want to talk to you. I am anxious about this child. +Your Rector wants the little Vicarage house for a new-married curate +who is going to be in charge of the church. I haven't told Gentian, for +I know the outcry she will make. She cannot live there alone, and you +must let the Rector have it. It will be a way out of the difficulty. +I have some empty attics where she can store her boxes and things. It +is very difficult to know what to do with her. I don't believe she'll +go on living with the Miss Buchans year in and year out, she'll be too +dull there. And she's not the sort of girl to be knocking about the +world on her own." + +"It will be a blow to her," said Thorold, looking grave. "She tells me +that young fellow Jim Paget is on her track again. Coming back, isn't +he? He may induce her to listen to him this time." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe shook her head. + +"I wish I could think so, but I'm sure she won't have him. She ought to +marry. I think she might develop into a good little wife." + +There was silence between them for a moment or two. Then Mrs. +Wharnecliffe said slowly: + +"Thorold, have you ever thought that she may be caring for you?" + +Thorold was just lighting his pipe. He let it slip through his fingers, +and fall with a clatter on the ground. + +"Caring for me," he said, stooping down to pick up his pipe; "what +nonsense! I think she may like me better than she did, but she looks +upon me as her elderly guardian—offered to come and keep house for me!" + +His face was a dull red as he raised himself, but Mrs. Wharnecliffe's +quick eyes noted his confusion. + +"There's not much disparity in your ages. You are not elderly, Thorold. +You are in the prime of life. I may be wrong. She is childishly jealous +of Frances Muir, but, of course, that may be because she likes to come +first with you." + +"It would be wicked," muttered Thorold, "to tie her up to an old fogy +like me." + +"Gentian would not do anything she did not want to do." + +"But she's in a dangerous state now. She wants a home. She might do +anything to get one. I would not take advantage of a child like that +for all the world." + +"Thorold!" + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe pressed his arm. "You love her!" + +"I adore her!" he said, with a quick-caught breath, and then he tried +to relight his pipe with nervous, trembling fingers. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe drew a long sigh. + +"Well, it has come to you at last," she said; "now don't spoil your +life and hers by stupid bashfulness and false modesty. You have a great +deal to offer her. A clear, upright, honourable record, a comfortable +home, and a love—well, I won't say more on that point, but any girl +would be lucky with you for a husband, Thorold. I don't say she is good +enough for you, but she's a fascinating little soul, and where she +loves, she'll love to distraction. You won't have a dull moment with +her, I know that, and I believe she'll develop into something grand and +good, by and by." + +"You've forced my confidence," Thorold said; "respect it and say no +more. I'm not in a position to offer anyone a home until I see how the +mine is going. And I can't believe, and I don't believe, that she would +listen to me for a moment." + +"Who won't listen to you?" asked a gay voice behind them. + +It was Gentian, of course. She did not wait for an answer but slipped +her arm into Mrs. Wharnecliffe's. + +"Now let us sally forth," she said, "to see the wonders of the ocean +shore." + +There was no lack of conversation between the three of them, though +Thorold was the one who spoke least. Mrs. Wharnecliffe talked eagerly, +almost feverishly, and Gentian was her own gay chattering little self. +It was a good walk from the inn to the fishing village, which was most +picturesque. Like many of the Cornish fishing villages, the houses were +placed at all angles, one above the other, with quaint cobbled paths +twisting and turning in every direction, and rough stone steps up and +down to the beach and cliffs. They came down to a stone bridge across +the river, and here in the middle they turned their backs to the sea +and looked along the wooded valley with the shining river winding its +way at the bottom. + +The sun was getting low, and sending its golden rays across the water. +Gentian leant her arms on the stone wall and gazed dreamily in front of +her. + +"This is sweet," she murmured. "I don't think England's beauty spots +are distributed fairly. River and woods are enough without the sea." + +They turned round and walked on, past a row of old-fashioned shops +facing the river, and then eventually found themselves on the sea +front. Fishermen lounged about smoking their pipes, or tinkering at +their boats. The tide was out. Across the short strip of sand in front +of them and the grey rocks that stretched away to the cliff the golden +sunshine was sending its long slanting rays. Away on the horizon were +the fishing smacks starting for their night's fishing. Gentian looked +at it all with interest and delight. + +Then she slipped her hand into Thorold's arm. + +"Let's walk down to the sea," she said, "it's too far off from us here." + +"I think I shall sit down here," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, sinking on +one of the wooden seats near her; "don't be too long, for when the sun +sets, it will be chilly." + +Thorold and Gentian walked across the sand until they came to the +ocean. Only rippling waves disturbed the silence. + +"I like this," Gentian said contentedly. "I should like to live by the +sea. It always brings peace to me. It reminds me of the sea in Italy. +How far is the mine from here?" + +"Quite five miles. It is inland. The Rectory is a good mile and a half +from us here." + +"And do your miners live in these dear little houses?" + +"Oh, no. This is entirely a fisher population. There is a small hamlet +near the mine where they will congregate; but a good many come by the +train along the light railway from other villages. Every day I have +applicants from all parts. It's extraordinary how news flies. I hope I +shall be able to give them all work." + +"I wish you could give me work," said Gentian, turning a face that +was a mixture of wistfulness and mischief up to his. "I shall soon +be unemployed again, I feel it in my bones. And I am not a very +satisfactory companion to an indoors lady. Fancy! The other day I was +saying how much I should love to hunt next winter, and Miss Horatia +laughed and didn't seem against the idea, when Miss Anne drew herself +up as if I had quite shocked her,— + +"'That is hardly one of the duties of a lady's companion,' she said. + +"So I was angry, of course, and I said quickly: 'I am only a temporary +companion. I may end it any day,' + +"And then Miss Anne said very sweetly: 'I think it would be your loss, +if you did so.' + +"Now do you think that quite nice of her? She tries to keep me in my +place; but somehow bubble up away from it—and any day may bring a +crisis." + +"I agree with Miss Anne," said Thorold gravely; "that it will be your +loss if you lose such a comfortable home." + +"Now, Cousin Thor, do you think it is a home to me? How can it be? I +have lost my home, and I have lost the love and care that went with +it. I am hedged about with convention and duties and restrictions. I +must be punctual and tidy and meek, and always must be at the beck +and call of a very kind mistress certainly, but a very old-fashioned, +punctilious lady." + +"Do you want to go through life only pleasing yourself, and satisfying +your own desires?" + +"Now you're getting into the stern old martinet you were when I first +knew you! You have been much kinder lately. I don't always want to +please myself. There are some people that I would like to do anything +for—I think I might be willing to die for them!" + +Thorold's eyes twinkled as he looked at her. + +"We'll hope that won't be necessary at your time of life," he said. + +She was standing very close to him as she spoke; now she moved away +with a dignified air. + +"You like to laugh at me," she said. "You never take me in earnest, you +treat me like a child, and now Waddy has left me I feel a hundred years +old, as if my whole future life is my own responsibility, and I get +frightened. I have no money at my back, and very few friends. I don't +think you or Mrs. Wharnecliffe would let me starve, but then if I went +away from you, you might not know. I sometimes wonder if I could earn +my living in London by my music. I'll talk to Jim Paget about it when +he comes over. He knows a lot of people in London." + +Thorold's brows grew rather threatening. + +"No," he said quickly; "don't do that. When you feel you must have a +change of employment, tell me. I promise I will help you." + +"I don't feel very sure of you down here," said Gentian, looking at +him with earnest eyes. "I'm so afraid you will marry Miss Frances +Muir! There! I know I ought not to say so, but somehow with you I +must unburden myself. And if you marry her, you won't care about me +any more. You'll forget all about me—and she—Miss Muir—will keep you +from having anything to do with me—I know her kind. I don't like +her and she doesn't like me. We are natural—what is the word? Not +enemies—antagonists. Why are you laughing?" + +"I can't help being amused at your matchmaking propensities. Am I so +very susceptible to female charm? Haven't you always considered me a +thorough old bachelor? We are talking nonsense, let us come back to +Mrs. Wharnecliffe." + +He turned; then, as Gentian seemed reduced to silence, he put his hand +on her shoulder. + +"Your future is not in your hands, child. A loving God is caring for +you. Leave it to Him, He makes no mistakes. That is one of the facts +that strengthen with years." + +She did not speak. Her eyes filled with tears. She was very silent for +the rest of the evening. Thorold left them as soon as he had taken them +back to the hotel, promising to be with them again at ten o'clock the +next morning, when Mrs. Wharnecliffe's car would take them to the mine. + + +And the next day dawned brilliantly. Blue sky, and no wind, the sea lay +calm and still as a mill pond. They caught the glimpses of it as they +sped up and down hill through the Cornish lanes. + +Gentian was her bright self again, and keenly interested in all the +working of the mine. She was very disappointed that she was not allowed +to go down into it. She talked to the manager, and to every miner that +she came across, and bewildered them by her questions and inquiries. + +Later on, Thorold took them to see a row of cottages which were just +being built. Gentian did not think much of the hamlet, but loved its +quaint name, which was Menabockle. She spoke to a woman who stood at a +cottage door. + +"Aren't you very happy to have the mine working again?" + +"'Twill give work to many," said the woman with a smile. + +"Yes, and you're lucky to have Mr. Holt owning it. If you're in +trouble, he'll get you out of it by hook or crook. He was born to do +that, I believe." + +She nodded and smiled and passed on. Only the woman caught her +words. Thorold was busy talking to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. He was bent on +reassuring her about his venture. + +"It is a risk, of course, but all here know that tin is to be found; +and the mine stopped working through want of capital to carry it on. Be +patient, and you'll see that I have not wasted my money." + +"Why need you be on the spot always?" asked Gentian. "When it's once +started, can't your manager carry it on?" + +"If the owners had lived on the spot before, it would have been better +for their mines. Managers are not infallible. Besides, I want to know +the people. I am going to start a small institute or club for the young +men and boys. I am full of ideas from which I want practical results." + +"And what about the house?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"Just for the present, we'll leave it. As I said before, I have the +first refusal of it. But I'm thankful for your suggestions and advice." + +He returned to the inn with them and they had lunch together. They had +hardly finished the meal before Thorold's friend, the Rector of the +parish, and his daughter appeared. + +Mr. Muir was a tall, stalwart man, with a cheerful face and breezy +manner. He was very disappointed to hear that Mrs. Wharnecliffe was +returning home immediately. + +"We quite hoped you would dine with us to-night, or at least, come up +and have a 'dish o' tay,' as our Cornish folk say. Do you approve of +this Cornish benefactor?" He laid his hand on Thorold's shoulder as he +spoke. + +"It's a doubtful experiment," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe gravely; "but +Thorold knows his own business best, and if his heart is in it, I +can but wish him good luck. I hope he will succeed where others have +failed." + +"It's going to be a huge success," said Frances enthusiastically. "Mr. +Holt always succeeds in everything he puts his hand to, now does he +not?" + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled. + +"He gets his own way with people as a rule." + +Thorold looked across at Gentian with his humorous smile. + +"Do you endorse that?" he asked. + +She nodded. + +"Yes, because you are so doggedly determined and persevering," she said. + +"Well," said Frances, "we all want him to have his own way down here. +There's no opposition from anyone. How could there be? We are most +keenly interested in what he is doing. And as for the people round, +they're wild with delight that the mines are going to be restarted." + +"The only thing that I don't like about them," said Gentian, "is the +mess they make of the country. They spoil the landscape, and foul the +air with blacks and dust." + +Frances' smile had a twinge of pity in it. + +"That is rather a narrow outlook," she said; "when you put against a +few acres of waste ground the employment and prosperity of hundreds of +living souls." + +Gentian was silent. She was glad when the car was announced, but vexed +that she and Mrs. Wharnecliffe should drive off leaving Thorold by the +side of the girl to whom she had taken such a hearty dislike. + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +A NEW FRIEND + +IT was not long after Gentian's return to the Miss Buchans that the +blow fell upon her about St. Anselm's Vicarage. Thorold wrote to her +himself about it, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe had her over for the day to +discuss plans. To her astonishment, Gentian took it very quietly. + +"I am not surprised. I have no right to a house. I have no money to +live there. I am alone in this grey old England. Cousin Thor gave it +more to Waddy than to me, and now she is gone I have no right to expect +that Cousin Thor should provide me with a house to keep my possessions +in. He did tell me that I could have it for a time, but now this curate +with his family wants it, and they will take possession of the darling +organ. It has all gone from me. I shall only have memories of it now." + +"You must look upon my house as your pied-à-terre, I won't say home, +for you have become such an independent young lady that you resent the +thought of any one taking care of you. But you know, dear, that you +will be always welcome, and that I am ready to help you in every way +possible." + +"You are very kind," said Gentian, looking at her with a deep gravity +in her blue starry eyes; "but I am learning to stand alone. I shall +have to do it, and the sooner I begin the better. I shall be very +grateful if you will store a few boxes for me. I haven't very many +worldly goods, have I? Only just some mementoes from my darling Italy, +and a few of my mother's treasures. I will write this evening and tell +Cousin Thor that I will clear out my things to-morrow." + +Thorold got her letter, and for some hours after receiving it, felt +distracted and disturbed. + + "DEAR CORNISH BENEFACTOR,— + + "You have broken your news very softly. But I am ready to quit, as +the Americans would say, and shall march out with my head up, and my +tears locked down into a pool at the bottom of my heart. You have a +right to let your own house to anyone. I was only a charity pauper +whilst there. This isn't bitterness but fact, and never was a poor +orphan more kindly housed than I was. I knew when I turned the key in +the door and went off to the Miss Buchans that I should never go back +again. I felt it in my bones. Mrs. Wharnecliffe impressed upon me that +I could not live there alone. I knew that I had not enough money of my +own to feed myself and a chaperone, to say nothing of paying her to +dance attendance on me. So there we are. I feel I am growing wise and +old. That sunny chapter of my life is over. The clouds began to appear +when you took your departure, and when Waddy left me for good, the sun +disappeared altogether. + + "But, and this is a big But. I will print it in large letters, BUT, +I have I believe got my storm-proof and mackintosh on, and I'm assuring +myself over and over, that this fresh storm may beat about my feelings +and passions and hopes and desires, but can't reach my soul. I don't +forget your little sermon, you see. I've discovered one of the Bible's +secrets, that blessedness—that's happiness, is it not?—comes to those +who believe when they can't see. And then after I have thought over +that a good while, I give myself a pat on the shoulder and say, 'Your +future is not in your hands, child.' Only I can't give it quite the +nice kind of pat that you did. + + "Anyhow, I want you to be assured that I accept my fate with placidity, +and am still pursuing my daily rounds of duty combined with some small +bits of pleasure. I am getting quite a good rider. Now I know and share +Miss Horatia's feelings about cars. They're good to get to places, but +for enjoying the country they're not in it with a horse. She has taken +me for several long rides through lanes and woods where cars cannot go, +and if ever I become a rich woman, I will buy a horse and keep it till +I die. + + "I suppose Jim Paget would give me a horse if I married him. He has +written to-day to say he wants to see me, but I've put him off. I can't +see him here. It would be awkward, and Miss Anne told me to-day that +she's expecting a nephew of theirs from abroad to come and stay with +them. He is arriving to-morrow. Do you know him? His name is Vernon +Buchan. He is a great violinist and gives recitals in London. I am +anxious and excited to meet him. I do love anyone who loves music, don +t you? Miss Horatia rather sniffs when his name is mentioned. I don't +think she approves of him. She said straight out yesterday when Miss +Anne said how long it was since they had seen him: + + "'He is in want of something, my dear Anne, or he would not ask us to +have him.' + + "Miss Anne shook her head and looked at me. I pretended, of course, to +be engrossed in Miss Anne's knitting. + + "This evening Miss Anne asked me if I would like a few days' holiday. +I don't think she wants me to meet her nephew. Why? I have seen too many +men and musicians abroad to be unduly impressed by them. But of course +I said I could go to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I think she will have me. I did +not know about it this afternoon when I was over there. And I can't +go to her to-morrow, so I shall have a glimpse of the nephew before I +disappear. + + "Oh, Cousin Thor, I am scribbling away like this to take my thoughts +off my unfortunate existence. Does anyone in the whole wide world +really want me, I wonder? I don't mean foolish creatures like Jim and +your Godwin who like the outside of me, and have no more ideas of my +real self than a cat has of a polar bear. Miss Anne, you see, can +dispense with my services very easily when she likes. + + "How is that darling little fishing village? I should like to own a +boat and turn myself into a fisher girl and sail away into the sunset +sky every evening, drawing my fishing net through the rippling water, +and watch the stars come out one by one and twinkle in a thousand +lights on the moonlit waves! I would be quite happy in one of those +queer little whitewashed houses with my chimney touching my neighbour's +doorstep above. + + "Good-bye, Guardian, Mentor, and Granite Tor. + + "Your lonely, bewildered, but not utterly beaten— + + "BUBBLE." + +The Miss Buchans were at tea in the big drawing-room when their nephew +arrived. + +Gentian was with them. She wore a simple white gown. The only colour +about her was that of the arresting blue of her eyes. But as Vernon +Buchan came swiftly forward to greet his aunts, his eyes only took in +one picture, that of the slim white girlish figure with the piquant +oval face, the sunny cloud of hair and the wonderful eyes. + +She was introduced to him, and for a moment he wondered how she came +there. Miss Anne quietly enlightened him. + +"Miss Brendon looks after me, and drives me out in the afternoon. In +these days we have lady chauffeurs. It was some time before I became +accustomed to the idea." + +Gentian said to herself with mutinous lips: "And now I am put in my +place and must stay there." + +But Vernon was so talkative, and his conversation was so interesting, +that she could not stay mute for long, and when she heard that he had +only just arrived from Italy and had been to Capri three days before +leaving, she clasped her hands in eager delight. + +"Oh, tell me! It was my home for so many years. Tell me how it looks. +Where did you stay? I know every one. And is Luigi still the first to +come and offer to take you and your luggage to the Engleesh-speaking +hotel?" + +He laughed gaily. Miss Anne could as soon stop the current of a river +towards the sea as the animated talk which followed between the two +young people. + +Before dinner time came, Vernon was well acquainted with Gentian's +history, but he did not devote himself entirely to her; he only took +good care to include her in conversation with his two aunts. + +It was a lovely summer evening. In the big drawing-room later on, +Gentian went to the piano. It was her custom to play to Miss Anne for +half an hour every night. Vernon sat by the open window, and listened +with his heart in his eyes. + +"But your music is divine!" he exclaimed. "You have the soul of a true +artist. I have my violin. I never go anywhere without it. Will you +accompany me?" + +"I don't know that I can," said Gentian simply, "but I will try." + +Horatia smiled grimly when she saw them settle themselves at the piano +for the rest of the evening. + +Gentian was quick at reading at sight. Her touch and her execution +entranced Vernon. + +At last Miss Anne intervened. + +"Please let us enjoy your society, Vernon. I think you had better +practise in the mornings. Too much music makes my head ache. Oh, don't +apologize, but it is nearly ten o'clock and I want to hear a great deal +from you. How is your sister, and where is she?" + +"Oh, she has a flat in town." + +Vernon put by his violin with reluctance. + +"I'm staying with her. I had to hurry back, for I have one or two +recitals coming off before the season closes." + +"Is her husband with her?" + +"My dear aunt, is he ever with her? He's hunting big game in Ceylon +at present. Emmie and I are always happy together. But just now I'm a +harassed wretch. I felt I must have a couple of nights with you, and +I've really come down here to look up a certain Miss Lascelles who is +in your neighbourhood. My accompanist is ill, he's had to go off to +Davos—lung trouble—and Miss Lascelles took his place once before. She +lives in Winderball. Isn't that your nearest town?" + +"Yes," said Miss Horatia. "I know whom you mean. Miss Lascelles is the +daughter of a doctor there. She makes a living by her music, does she +not, but some one told me only last week that she had gone abroad—to +Austria, I think. She has obtained some musical post over there." + +Vernon ran his hand nervously up and down through his hair. + +"Disaster stares me in the face! I shall have to pelt back to town +to-morrow to arrange something." + +But when the next day came he did not go. Instead, he kept Gentian at +the piano every moment of her spare time, and at five o'clock tea he +sprang his bomb. + +"I have been directed down here," he said solemnly; "by my good fairy. +I have found my accompanist. Aunt Anne, will you spare Miss Brendon for +a week or two? Emmie will gladly put her up. With her, my success in +town will be assured. She's a born accompanist." + +Miss Anne was simply speechless. Nothing more had been said about +Gentian's proposed holiday. Miss Horatia had told her sister gruffly +that it was too late in the day to save the situation. + +"He is bowled over, as I knew he would be, by her pretty grace and her +music. But it will be one of his passing emotions. Vernon is too fond +of his own ease and comfort to mean anything serious." + +Now Miss Horatia, if feeling startled, did not show it. She smiled at +her nephew a little provokingly. + +"Anything more?" she asked. "Would you like our good cook, and my +hunter? Not that I class Miss Brendon with them, but she is here for a +purpose and cannot be spared." + +He waved his hand airily. + +"She must be spared. You have got on without her for a good many years, +and a month at the outside will see me through my recitals. Town will +be getting empty very soon. This is my chance, and I am not going to +lose it. It would be a sin and shame to keep her down here, whilst I am +rushing all over the country and tearing my hair to find somebody who +will do for me." + +"There are hundreds of people in town who will jump at the job," said +Miss Horatia, "and any Concert Directoire would find one for you." + +Vernon got up from his seat. + +"I mean to have Miss Brendon," he said emphatically. "I shall run away +with her, abduct her. It's so easy in these days with a car. She may be +going on an errand to the village, a car slows down, a shawl is flung +over her head, and it's done. She's dropped in the bottom of the car a +helpless heap, and away we go—in London before she is even missed!" + +"Don't be so ridiculous, Vernon!" + +"And improper," murmured Miss Anne. + +Gentian began to laugh. Her happy infectious laugh made every one join +in it. + +"I am the person to be consulted," she said, "and I could not possibly +leave my present situation, sir." Here she gave a little bow to Vernon. + +"Oh, indeed you can. Aunt Anne and Aunt Horatia can come up to town +with you if they like, if they won't trust Emmie to look after you. I +mean you to come—and I'm a bit of a hypnotist; you'll find yourself +doing it before you can say 'Jack Robinson.'" + +"I am going upstairs to have a rest in my room before dinner," +announced Miss Anne quietly. "Gentian, come with me, please." + +Gentian offered her her arm at once and they left the room together. + +Vernon settled down in his chair again. He meant to have it out with +his Aunt Horatia. + +A determined man can get the better of two women if they happen to +be fond of him. Miss Anne and Miss Horatia did not approve of their +nephew's ways. He was too Bohemian, too unconventional, and too +improvident to please them. But they loved him, and had given him a +home when his parents were abroad and he was a small schoolboy. + +Before another day had elapsed, Gentian found herself ready to agree to +his proposal. Secretly she was elated at the thought of it. She went +over to Mrs. Wharnecliffe and coaxed her round to give her permission, +but to Thorold she did not write till everything was settled and she +was in the train with Vernon for Town. + + +The ensuing weeks seemed unreal to her. She was by turn delighted and +wearied with the wild rush of life that was now her lot. Mrs. St. +Lucas, Vernon's sister, was a bright happy-go-lucky little lady, who +was as eager in her protestations of friendship for Gentian, as she was +in getting rid of all responsibility concerning her. + +The practices for the Recitals kept Gentian busy, but she was not at +the piano the whole day, and Vernon was only too ready to take her out +to lunch and dinner and then to the theatre afterwards. Mrs. St. Lucas +was generally with them, but not always—and as time went on, Vernon +began to assume airs of proprietorship which Gentian opposed with quiet +dignity. She would laugh and talk with him about a hundred different +things, but let personality be brought into prominence, then she +stiffened immediately. + +The first Recital was a great success—Gentian wrote a full account of +it to Thorold. + + "You see," she concluded, "that I am now being shown that the talent +which has been given to me must be used. You have no idea of the +flattering things that have been said to me. The Managing Director told +me that if I stayed in London, he could give me continual work, and the +pay he would offer me staggers me. It would be foolish, dear Cousin +Thor, would it not, to go back to the Miss Buchans and wind wool and +read magazine articles and drive a car when I could earn double here, +and have such a lovely time? It is so exquisite, feeling I have a right +and a duty to spend hours at the piano. I have always dreamt of playing +to an audience, and they seem to think that I could manage a solo or +two of my own later on. Mr. Buchan amuses me so much—he thinks he has a +right to choose the dress I am to wear when I play for him. I have to +buy new gowns up here. Mrs. St. Lucas has taken me to her dressmaker, +and it seems to me that my first earnings will be swallowed up with +frocks. He insisted upon my wearing a kind of moonlight blue when I +made my first appearance in public. And then he wanted me to be in +white and gold. But I stuck at that. It was not retiring enough for an +accompanist. + + "Oh, Cousin Thor, how he plays! He pours his whole soul out! I think +his violin comes first in the world with him. He makes me thrill and +quiver when he plays, and I could weep from sheer ecstasy. + + "I must tell you, that the other day I met Jim in Bond Street. +Mr. Buchan and I were going to the Academy. It was a surprise. Jim came +with us, but it was uncomfortable being three, and they glared at each +other like angry dogs over a bone. I needn't tell you I was the bone. +And the poor bone wished herself miles away from them both. + + "Then Jim came to see me yesterday, and Mrs. St. Lucas welcomed him +sweetly, but when we were alone, he trotted out the old story, and +I thought hard, of the home he would give me, and the fun, and the +affection. And the managing. But he told me in the midst of it all, +that the musical world was a rotten environment for any girl, and that +he would never let any one he knew play in public! I thanked him and +dismissed him, and cried when he had gone. + + "Why do you all try to manage me? Mr. Buchan does—but I am in his +pay, so he is my master. I think you are better than you used to be. +Perhaps it is that you are rather tired of me and do not feel it worth +while. I thought you might be angry when you heard I was here, but your +letters say so little. They're as mild as toast and water. I don't want +you to object to what I am doing, for I mean to go on doing it, and +I am writing to the Miss Buchans to-day to break with them. Mrs. St. +Lucas wants me to go to Vienna with her next month. What do you think +of that! I mean to study music there, and next autumn I am assured of +plenty of work. + + "Sometimes I shut my eyes and see the little valley running down to the +sea. Tell me how the mine is going, and if Miss Muir is still planning +a house for you. And are you living in lodgings or still at the Rectory? + + "This is from the Bubble who is beginning to soar once more." + + +Thorold's answer was as follows: + + "MY DEAR LITTLE FLEDGED MUSICIAN,— + + "Why should I try to cut your wings? And stamp upon your talent which +is now seeing the light of London Town? I don't like the life for you, +and rather agree with poor unfortunate Jim. It is too hard work for one +of your calibre. The late hours, the strain, and rush, and artificial +atmosphere will all tell on your nervous system, but this, I am sure, +you will have to find out for yourself. The week or two you are +experiencing now will be very different from the perpetual grind of a +professional accompanist. And if you should develop into a professional +soloist, it will be harder work still. + + "I have nothing to say, except that if you get tired or disillusioned, +send for me. I am at the end of a wire. And we'll fix up something +else. Never be afraid of owning up to mistakes. Such a lot of trouble +comes from false pride. What can I tell you about myself? I am in +diggings at a farm near the mine, and I eat a lot of Cornish cream, +and enjoy Cornish pasties and Saffron buns. We're very pleased with +the mine—we've opened up a vein of tin, and now the work is going +fast! I feel sorry that your time at the Mount is over. What will Miss +Anne do without you? Vienna is not an attractive town to me. I knew +it in my young days before my father died. To spend one of summer's +best months there is pitiful. But the music, of course, is enchanting. +Only—only—child—don't let the musical world swamp and drown your soul. + + "Yours when you want me, + + "THOROLD." + +Gentian tucked this letter inside her frock after kissing the signature. + +"Yours when you want me," she murmured to herself; "how I wish I could +make that into a proposal! Oh, Cousin Thor, I'll send for you, I know I +shall, but not yet! Things are going too well, and I'm enjoying myself. +And my musical soul is being fed and satisfied." + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +"I WANT YOU" + +TO say that both Mrs. Wharnecliffe and Thorold were very uneasy about +their young protégé would be to state it very mildly. + +If Mrs. Wharnecliffe had not had her husband in bed with one of his +bad attacks of gout, she would have gone up to town herself and taken +Gentian under her motherly wing. She knew Mrs. St. Lucas, and was well +aware of her happy-go-lucky Bohemian propensities. + +As to Thorold, he thought about Gentian night and day; he longed to +cast prudence and diffidence to the winds, and go up to London and +fetch her down to Cornwall, where she could once more be under his +protecting care. But when he had written to her, he waited patiently, +dreading, yet sometimes almost longing, to receive a summons from her. + +And then about the middle of July it came. + +A telegram was handed to him as he was starting to meet his manager at +the mine, one morning about ten o'clock. + +It was very brief. + + "I want you—Gentian." + +He flung a few things into his suit-case, borrowed Mr. Muir's car and +caught the morning express from Liskeard to town. She had wired to him +from a country inn just outside Maidenhead. He did not get there till +about six o'clock. The landlady came to the door at once. + +"You'll be the young lady's cousin or guardian, so she tells me. She +ought to be in bed, but she's on the couch in the best parlour. Come +this way, please." + +"Is she ill—an accident—what is the matter? + +"The doctor says 'tis a marvel: she's escaped with bruises and a +sprained wrist. She was pitched right out of the car, and found +underneath it." + +"Who was with her?" + +"Nobody, she drove herself down from town, and turning a corner ran +into some felled trees. I always do say that for a reckless driver, +give me a young lady!" + +Thorold said nothing. He followed her to a small dingy parlour at the +back of the house, and there, covered with an old plaid shawl, upon a +horsehair couch, lay Gentian. An ugly bruise and plastered cut on her +forehead and a bandaged wrist were the only evidences of her accident, +but she looked white and shaken, and could only faintly smile as she +looked up at him. + +"I knew you would come. I told the landlady so." + +He stood looking down upon her with his kind eyes. + +"Do your friends know where you are?" + +"No. I have run away from them." + +It was so like Gentian, that Thorold could have smiled, had he been +less concerned about her. + +And then she held out her unhurt hand to him, and when she had got hold +of his hand, clutched it as if she could never let it go, and burst +into a flood of tears. + +He stood silent beside her, for he knew that her tears would relieve +her, and then he said gently: + +"Don't bother to talk. I'll wait to be told things till you're feeling +better, but I must let Mrs. St. Lucas know where you are, and I would +like to see the doctor." + +"Don't tell Mrs. St. Lucas, don't! He will come down and make a fuss. +We were going up to Chester and York—a kind of tour—and I won't go, and +he'll be angry." + +She was struggling to get the better of her tears. + +"I must wire to relieve their anxiety, but I won't say where you are. +I will say you are returning home with me. I will write later when you +can give me details." + +He left the room. He was always prompt and practical. When he returned, +he had seen the doctor, wired to Mrs. St. Lucas, and ordered a nice +little dinner to be sent into the parlour for himself and Gentian. He +had also got a room for himself at an hotel in Maidenhead. + +He found Gentian looking much better and brighter. + +"It's all right now you are here," she said, "I'm ready to explain all." + +"Not yet. We will have some food first. What a fortunate thing you were +so near this inn!" + +"Yes; one of the ostlers heard the crash and ran out. It was only just +round the corner. Such a corner! They ought to have put up warning +lights, but I suppose I was reckless—I felt so." + +She could not eat much, she said her head was bad, but she drank a cup +of tea, and she looked up at him pathetically when he helped her back +to the couch. + +"If only I was feeling well, how much we could enjoy ourselves!" she +said. + +A little later the meal was carried away, and then he drew up a chair +to her side, and with her hand lightly clasping his she told her story. + +"Do you know Mr. Buchan? He is very amusing, and alive to his +finger-tips, and he's a passionate, magnificent violinist. He loves +his violin like nothing in the world, and he amuses himself with +everybody else. He liked me, and he was awfully nice, and respectful +and courteous, and all he ought to be, until we had finished our London +recitals. Then he was tired and his nerves were on edge, and he would +take me about to places I did not like, and he began to take liberties, +called me by my Christian name, and was always taking hold of me, and +talking in a silly inane fashion. He thought I liked it, until one day +I made myself very angry and showed him that I did not intend to be +treated so. Then he did it to tease me. + +"The night before last, Mrs. St. Lucas had a dinner engagement +somewhere, and I was feeling tired. I had not been in bed before two +or three in the morning for a whole week. He came in about dinner time +and wanted me to go to the Ritz with him. I refused, and then he said +he should stay at home with me. I am quite sure he took too much whisky +at dinner, for when he came into the drawing-room afterwards, he reeked +of it, and he began to be most objectionable, calling me his 'darling +girl' and trying to kiss me. I walked straight away from him and locked +myself up in my bedroom. + +"Mrs. St. Lucas came home very late, so I determined to tell her about +it in the morning. I did not know quite what to do, for she had made +all arrangements to go to Vienna, and of course Mr. Buchan was going +too, and I suddenly felt sick and disgusted with it all. I hardly +slept—worrying through things and not seeing how I could back out of +it, or get away from them. Then in the morning I heard from Mrs. St. +Lucas' maid when she called me that Mrs. St. Lucas had gone down to +Richmond with a party of friends for the day. It was just like her. She +left a message saying she would be back early in the evening. I asked +the maid if Mr. Buchan were out or in, and she gave me a note from him." + +Gentian paused, then with her head held very proudly, she went on: + +"If he had apologized for his behaviour, I would very likely have +forgiven him on condition he never offended in that way again, but his +note was sentimental drivel, just flattering me, and saying that the +earth could do better without the sun than he could without me, and he +ended by saying he wanted to take me down the river for the day. Would +I be kind and come? I sent a message by the maid to say that I was not +well and was going to have a quiet day in my room. And then after I had +heard him leave the flat, and angrily tell the maid he would not be in +till late, it suddenly struck me what I could do! + +"In a few minutes I was out of bed and dressed, and had got to the +nearest garage. I hired a car without thinking of where I was going. +I only knew I must get away from it all. I remembered as I was going +through the streets, that Waddy had a married sister in Wiltshire. She +came to her funeral, and I thought for the sake of Waddy that she might +take me in. And then, just as I came here, I ran into some trees half +across the road. I'm not smashed up myself, perhaps it would be better +for you and others if I were, but the car is an utter wreck, and I +shall have to pay an awful sum at the garage, I suppose. I didn't know +what to do, and then I thought of you. And if you can square it up with +them now, I'll pay you back by instalments. If it takes a lifetime to +do it, I will!" + +She glanced up at him feverishly. + +Thorold responded at once. + +"I'll write to them to-night, they must know, of course. Now what do +you want to do?" + +There was silence. Gentian leant back against a very hard cushion and +looked up at him gravely. + +"What do you advise me to do?" she said. + +"I think the best thing for you to do is to go to bed and have a good +night's rest. You look as if you badly need it. I'll come round after +breakfast, and if you feel fit, I'll take you to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +is really anxious about you. She told me you had left off writing to +her." + +"Oh, I haven't written to anyone—except perhaps you—and you haven't +heard very often, have you?" + +"We'll talk over things to-morrow. I do not know whether you want to +break entirely with these new friends of yours. But don't worry your +head over them. Now I am going. Good night. The landlady says she has a +comfortable bedroom for you." + +"Oh, what does it matter where I sleep! I'm only a plague and bother +to all my friends. Good night. You're like one of your Cornish Tors—I +wish—I wish I could be so immovably serene!" + +Thorold left her—and acting upon his advice, Gentian went up to her +bedroom and got into an old-fashioned fourpost bed with a feather +mattress. As she put down her head upon her pillow, she said to herself +determinedly: + +"I shan't think of Vernon or his sister. I shall wipe them off my mind. +I shall only dream and think of that peaceful Cornish valley by the +sea, and of Cousin Thor moving about in it trying to shoulder all the +people's burdens. He is shouldering mine, and I will leave him to do +it. He never fails me." + +Sleep came to her very soon in spite of aching wrist and limbs. She met +Thorold at the breakfast table the next morning looking much more like +herself. And she had recovered her spirits. Meeting his intent gaze she +asked him lightly: + +"Am I looking an awful guy? I feel as if I have been in a football +scrimmage." + +"You are very thin," said Thorold gravely. "I suppose it is the result +of the life you have been leading—late hours and excitement." + +"I have only had six weeks of it, barely that." + +"It's long enough to have brought lines to your face which were not +there before." + +"You're not complimentary. You never are to me. But I have got nervy +and cross in London. I always hated towns. I told you so when you came +and took Waddy and me away from it. The air is used up, and people get +in one's way, and are nasty, and then that rouses nastiness in me." + +"Well, now we must talk matters over. You have been too hasty and +impetuous in running away like this! Do you want to end all this +musical life? Will you be content to settle down quietly away from it +all?" + +"I never want to get away from music. I could not be happy without a +piano or organ, but I never want to see Mr. Buchan again, never. He +thinks of nobody but himself, and thinks he can treat me anyhow!" + +Gentian's cheeks grew hot and red as she thought of her last interview +with Vernon, and of his letter following it. + +"I don't know where I am to live," she went on with a plaintive tone in +her voice. "I could never go back to the Miss Buchans. Now I see that I +treated them badly, for they have been very kind to me. But Mr. Buchan +made me write to them and definitely refuse to go back to them. And I +can't stay very long with Mrs. Wharnecliffe." + +"We'll talk over plans with her," said Thorold hastily. "I think you +had better write yourself to both Mr. Buchan and his sister. They have +been kind to you. Don't shirk it. You are not a child, and must be able +to have the courage of your convictions." + +Gentian looked at him with laughter in her eyes. + +"You are just the same as ever. Very kind when I am in trouble, but so +quick to dictate to me and correct my faults. When I sweep people out +of my life, I do it with one good swish of the broom, and never give my +reasons. Why should I?" + +"I think it would be more courteous and more straightforward if you +were to do so." + +"What! To tell Mrs. St. Lucas that her brother is detestable to me!" + +"No, that is not necessary." + +Gentian jumped up from the breakfast table. "I'll write with the +greatest pleasure. No one can say that I am afraid of them." + +She seized hold of her writing-case, sat down and scribbled off two +hasty notes which she handed to Thorold to read before she placed them +in their envelopes. + + "DEAR MRS. ST. LUCAS,— + + "I hope you were not anxious about me. I would have explained had you +been home. I have had enough of town life. Your brother and I have had +words—I don't feel I care about being with him any more. I have played +for him at his two big Recitals, and that is all I came up for. I shall +never change my mind, but I thank you for your kind hospitality and +hope you will enjoy Vienna. Please send my luggage to Mrs. Wharnecliffe +and forgive my hasty departure. + + "Yours gratefully, + + "GENTIAN BRENDON." + + + "DEAR MR. BUCHAN,— + + "I feel you will have given your sister an explanation of my +disappearance. Please do not think that all girls are alike, and that I +understand such talk and behaviour as yours. Your letter is offensive +to me. What have I done to make you write in such a style? I hope we +shall never meet again. I should have been happier if I had never known +you. + + "I can't describe myself anything but a disgusted and disillusioned +acquaintance, + + "GENTIAN BRENDON." + +Thorold handed them back to her with a very grave face. + +"Well, you don't approve of them?" + +"I think you might write to him differently. With a little more +dignity. After all, he may have only expressed what he felt for you—you +are too severe." + +"Oh, men always side with men." + +"I am trying to be just and fair," said Thorold. "Give his note back to +me." + +Gentian tore it to pieces, then dashed off another epistle. + + "DEAR MR. BUCHAN,— + + "I am sorry that I felt obliged to come away from town. Your attitude +lately has stopped our friendly intercourse, and I think it wiser to +end my visit to your sister. + + "Thanking you for all your past kindness, + + "Yours sincerely, + + "GENTIAN BRENDON." + +"That is better," was Thorold's comment. "Now we'll post these at once, +and get them off our mind. There's a train we can catch in an hour's +time. The doctor wants to see you once more. I see him coming along the +road now." + +"Oh, I don't want doctors," said Gentian impatiently. + +But she was persuaded to see him, and he was able to bandage her wrist +afresh. + +"You want a good rest. Your nerves are overstrained," he told her. "Why +will you young people burn the candle at both ends! Then if illness or +accident comes, you have no resisting force to overcome them." + +"I consider I've weathered through my accident in splendid fashion," +she said. + +He shook his head. + +"Your pulse does not tell me so. Take it quietly. You will feel your +bruises for some days, but you have had a wonderful escape." + +In an hour's time Gentian was sitting opposite Thorold in a railway +carriage. + +He talked to her a great deal about Cornwall; of its traditions and +folklore and history. He persistently refused to discuss any future +plans with her and she was content, for the time being, to live in the +present. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe received Gentian with her usual warmth of welcome. + +"The very bad penny has returned to you," said Gentian softly and +contritely. + +"I almost felt it would be so," was Mrs. Wharnecliffe's response. "Your +heart was so set on going, that I felt it would be wise to let you go; +but I had a presentiment that it would be a failure." + +They had had luncheon in the train. Sitting out under the big acacia +tree on the lawn, Gentian poured out her story. Mrs. Wharnecliffe +smiled at times at her childishness, yet was surprised with her quick +comprehension and discernment. She saw that Vernon Buchan had wearied +her long before the actual break with him, and she was thankful for it. + +Thorold left them alone for a considerable time; then, when he joined +them, Mrs. Wharnecliffe said she must finish writing some letters. + +"We will have tea out here," she said. "I shall not be long." + +Thorold took a garden chair and pulled out his pipe, but he did not +light it. He looked at Gentian in a funny, diffident kind of way. + +"Now shall we talk plans?" he said. + +"Yes," said Gentian with a sigh; "but you'll be very clever if you can +find a home for me anywhere, I must work; but what to do, and how to +earn money, I do not know. I suppose I must try and give music lessons, +but I am not very patient." + +Thorold cleared his throat. + +"I should like to offer you a home," he said; "but I doubt if you +would—" + +"Oh, where? Not in Cornwall with you? As your housekeeper?" + +He shook his head. + +"Oh, no." + +Gentian's face fell. + +Then he put his pipe in his pocket, and took her slim little hand in +his. + +"Am I too old and stodgy for you, Gentian? Too dull and commonplace to +make you happy? Would you care to come down to Cornwall and make me one +of the happiest men there?" + +"Are you asking me to marry you?" whispered Gentian, her blue eyes +glowing as she looked up into his rather agitated face. + +"I am asking you to be my wife," he said very solemnly. + +Her face broke up into ripples of laughter. Then a tender softness came +over it. + +"Cousin Thor, you're a darling! Do you really mean it?" + +"Would I joke on such a subject?" + +"I never, never thought you'd care enough for me. Why, I like you +better than anyone else in the world! You're not asking me out of pity?" + +Thorold had drawn her into his arms. + +"There's no pity in my heart," he said softly, "only immense love. And +it has been there for a long, long time, only I thought I was too old +for you." + +"You're not a bit old, you're everything that I want. Did you know how +I felt about you?" + +"Tell me." + +But Gentian had suddenly become shy. "I will one day, but not yet." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe, looking out of her morning-room, suddenly rang her +bell, and gave orders that tea was to be delayed half an hour. At the +end of that time, she walked out to the acacia tree, and received the +news with great equanimity. + +"And now do you think all your troubles are at an end, Gentian?" she +asked, smiling. + +"Troubles?" repeated the girl with shining eyes. "Oh, indeed they are! +The whole world is changed to me. Now, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, I shall have +a right to go off to Cornwall as often as I like, and a right to have +my say in his house, and everything that concerns him. I have a right +to look after him in every way. How I've longed to do it! I can hardly +believe it is true! Just think. An hour ago I had no hope—no certainty +or knowledge of what was to become of me—I was lonely and miserable. I +had made a mess of my affairs in town—I had offended the Misses Buchan, +I felt you and Cousin Thor did not know what to do with me, and looked +upon me as an incubus—an obstacle to your peace of mind! I felt he was +going back to his mine, and Miss Muir meant to marry him. And here in +this peaceful garden I was at the end of everything. When Cousin Thor +said he wanted to talk plans, I thought I should be placed in some +awful family, or have a stiff, starched chaperon. I haven't had time to +think things out yet. I hardly know if I stand on my head or my heels. +Do you think he really and truly means what he says? He's the sort that +might sacrifice his whole life from compassion or pity on somebody. And +that somebody would be me! You know him very well." + +But Thorold interrupted: + +"Do you doubt my word?" he asked her softly. + +And Gentian gazed at him with tender smiling eyes. + +"No, you couldn't tell a lie. You've done for yourself, Cousin Thor, +for good or evil you have got me now. Mrs. Wharnecliffe, are you in +your heart of hearts the least bit sorry for him?" + +"I should be, if I did not know you both very intimately. I know he +will satisfy all your requirements, Gentian, and it is in your power to +satisfy his." + +"Here we are, taking all the romance and beauty out of it, and +deliberately discussing it in cold blood," said Gentian. "I shall be +as bold as brass, and say it out loud: I love him, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, +and he loves me. Nothing else matters, nothing. If his mine burst up +to-morrow, and we had to live in two rooms on bread and cheese, I would +be singing for joy in my heart." + +"And now we will have tea," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, laughing, "and for +the present, Gentian, bread and cheese is not your portion. May I say +this, that you are a very fortunate girl. I don't think you know what I +think of your Cousin Thorold." + +"Yes I do—he's a tower of strength. I told him once my ideal of a +husband, and he's the only man that has fulfilled it. I want some +one like a rock for steadiness and reliability, he must never fail +me, never deceive me, never disappoint me. And his soul must be the +strongest part of him; for mine is the weakest. And you know his side +of the bargain. A scatter-brained, changeable, impetuous, well-meaning, +but altogether selfish bubble—just a frothy bubble. But—" here sudden +fire leaped to her eyes—"I'll do better, and I'll spend my life in +making him happy. He never thinks of himself, he has always thought +first of others. I will think first of him." + +"You embarrass me," said Thorold. + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave a turn to the conversation. + +"Personalities will now be avoided," she said playfully. "What is more +to the purpose is—how long will you be able to stay here, Thorold?" + +"I must get back to-morrow night." + +They began to discuss plans. But Gentian's glowing animation died down. +She sat with clasped hands round her knees, gazing dreamily across the +sunny lawn. + +She felt that this was the golden hour in her life, and as her eyes +wandered up to the deep blue sky above her, she wondered if her +faithful friend would be allowed to know the great happiness that had +come to her. + + + +CHAPTER XV + +THEIR GOLDEN TIME + +THOROLD did not leave till late the next afternoon. He took Gentian off +for a walk in the morning. And they found a lot to say to each other, +though perhaps he was the more silent of the two. + +She was rather shy at times. + +"You see," she explained to him, "I am not yet accustomed to my new +position. And if it seems to turn my head at first, you must make +allowances. It's rather a case of King Cophetua and the beggar-maid. +Yes, I'm next door to a beggar-maid, and to know that for the rest of +my life I shall have no money anxieties is entrancing. Do you think now +if the mine goes on well, that you and I could get a couple of good +horses and ride about together in Cornwall? You see, I'm at my old +trade, begging from the king already!" + +Her laughter rang out so merrily that Thorold could not help joining +her. + +"Yes, we will ride together," he said. "I would rather ride any day +than use a car." + +"And you'll take that little grey stone house, and let me make it cosy +and pretty? What a lot of things there are to be done! Oh, I wonder if +I shall make you a good wife? You like the old-fashioned sort, don't +you? A wife who'll always stay at home, and take care of the house, and +welcome her husband back with smiles of peace and looks of love. I'm +afraid I shall find it very difficult, but I mean to do everything you +want. Oh, Cousin Thor, you don't know how I worship you!" + +"We'll drop the 'cousin,' shall we?" + +"Yes, of course. But I've a lot of secret pet names for you. Would you +like to hear them? Thorold is so grave and stiff. I called you the +Buffer first, because you always came between me and difficulties, and +then I thought of you as 'Mr. Ready to help,' and then the 'Limpet's +Rock'—I was the limpet, of course—and you were also 'the Universal +Improver.'" + +"Oh, spare me," said Thorold with a little laugh; "I know I have been +very down on you for many things, but you have taken my scoldings like +an angel, and I don't feel like scolding any more." + +Then in a graver tone, he began to talk to her about the life they +would have together, of the responsibilities that would come to them, +and of the opportunities they would have of helping those around them. + +Gentian listened with eager delight. + +"I shall, of course, do all I can. I do think seriously, you know, and +I'm full now of noble resolves and desires. You will have to lift me up +away from earth when you are soaring heavenwards yourself. And when I +drop down with a thud into the mire, you will have to pick me up again, +and start me afresh." + +Their talk veered from grave to gay, but when they returned to the +house, Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked them if they had settled the day for +their marriage. + +"You have nothing to wait for," she said; "I am sure you know each +other through and through. I mean to keep Gentian with me until her +trousseau will be ready, and you will have to get your house in order, +Thorold. Don't think I want to hurry you, but I'm going to take Phil to +the Riviera in November, and should love to see you settled comfortably +for the winter, before we go." + +"I have touched upon that crucial point," said Thorold. + +"Yes," said Gentian, a little shyly; "and I'm going to leave it to +him—I want just a little time to take it all in, and to think over it, +but when he wants me, I'll be ready." + +"Then why not fix a day towards the end of October? That will leave a +good three months," suggested Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +And both Thorold and Gentian signified their assent. + +The hours of that day passed too quickly for Gentian. She clung to +Thorold when his time of departure came. + +"You are quite sure you haven't made a mistake?" she said, laying her +head on his shoulder with a little happy sigh; "you won't let Miss Muir +make you think I am too young and giddy to make you a good wife? I +shall do awful things sometimes, I always do, but I shan't do them on +purpose. And I have some pride, and I'll show Miss Muir that I can keep +house, and dispense hospitality, and be as good a hostess as she is +herself." + +"I am not afraid that my future wife will lack either dignity or +grace," said Thorold. "My darling, I have made many mistakes in my +life, but I am quite certain that I am not making one now." + +"And we'll write and write and write to each other, till we meet +again," said Gentian; "and if you're very long away, I shall get into +my car and come tearing down to see you—I can always do that." + +She parted from him with smiles and misty eyes, and when he had gone, +came to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. + +"Oh, I'm the happiest girl in the world! Did you know he liked me? Did +you know I liked him? I'm thanking God with all my heart for bringing +such joy into my life. I shall love Him so much more, and shall +serve Him so much better now. I always think that Cousin Thor is an +uncalendared saint; and living with him will, of course, make me a much +better character. We won't keep our engagement a secret. There's one +person I should like to tell soon, and that is Sir Gilbert. He is one +of my greatest friends next to you." + +"We'll drive over and see him to-morrow," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "I +have had a pretty good idea, for some time past, that your feelings +towards Thorold were undergoing a change. You did not care for him at +first, did you?" + +"Well, no," admitted Gentian; "for he was too masterful. Isn't it +funny? I don't mind that a bit now. I like it in him—I don't want my +own way, I want his." + +"Ah," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, "that is the right kind of love, that +gives more than it takes. I hope you'll always feel like that, my dear +child." + +"I have really grown older," said Gentian thoughtfully, "in many ways. +Dear Waddy's illness taught me a good deal. I remember I felt when she +left me, that I would never smile again, my heart was quite cold and +dead. Cousin Thor did me good, when he came over to see me. And I see +now how right he was. Trouble does work for good if we take it in the +right way. I was very rebellious and impatient at first, and I have +been most awfully depressed lately—not seeing my future one little bit. +Somehow I never dreamt that Cousin Thor would or could care for me. I +felt very inclined to marry Jim, or anyone, and make the best of a bad +job. Fancy if I had! It doesn't bear thinking about." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe let her talk on. She was a very sympathetic listener, +and was too pleased with the match to be over-critical; otherwise she +might have checked the girl's egotistical talk. + +In a few days the news became known. + +Sir Gilbert received it with his serene smile. + +"I think," he said, "I must congratulate you most. There are few men +nowadays so quietly helpful and so selfless as Thorold Holt." + +"Yes," said Gentian; "everybody loves him. I suppose you think I am not +half good enough for him. He ought to have a sweet, dignified, queenly +woman, serene and calm, and instead, he has me." + +"He has a little person who is learning fast to control her likes and +dislikes, to think nothing of herself, and everything of those she +loves." + +"I am trying to arrive at that, but am not there yet," said Gentian +humbly. + +Miss Horatia arrived over one afternoon to offer her congratulations. + +"I felt you would not come and see us," she said in her blunt downright +fashion; "so I came to see you. We are not annoyed with you, though I +am sure you think we are. Anne and I know our nephew's way so well. +That was why we did not want you to meet him. He takes violent fancies +to girls, and then slips away from them, before he definitely commits +himself." + +"He didn't treat me like that," said Gentian, with great dignity. "It +was I who ran away from him. But I was too hasty and impulsive, Miss +Horatia. I was beside myself with excitement in London, and when I was +told I could make quite a nice sum by accompanying people, I thought I +should like to take it up as a profession." + +"And then what happened?" inquired Miss Horatia. + +"Well," said Gentian hesitating, "Mr. Vernon would not leave me alone. +He wearied me. I had to do everything with him, and go everywhere with +him, and I got sick of it, and of the people I had to meet. I am not +made for towns. I always think some of us are made for the country and +some for towns, don't you think so? And then I simply fled, and I never +want to see London again. It all tired me to death, and made my nerves +all come to the top of my skin. Do you know the feeling?" + +"I could have told you what it would be like, but you would not have +believed me." + +"I am ashamed of myself. How is Miss Anne? Would she see me if I came +over and asked her forgiveness for leaving her so suddenly, after all +her kindness to me?" + +"She'll like to see you any day. And so you're really engaged to +Thorold Holt? I thought you considered him an antiquated prig and +meddler." + +"I thought he was everything that was horrid when I first knew him," +said Gentian laughing; "but everybody who really gets to know him, and +watches his life, must adore him, Miss Horatia!" + +Miss Horatia laughed. + +"Then that is your role now! Well—you can pin your faith and love on +Thorold and never be disillusioned. I'll say that, and I've known him +for a good many years. You're a lucky young woman, and I congratulate +you with all my heart." + +"Thank you. Every one tells me that. And they nearly say 'you're not +half enough good for him,' their eyes and corners of their mouths say +it, if their tongues don't! But it's quite true. I'm not good enough, +or clever enough, or steady enough. But somebody said once that people +who live together get like each other, so I'm hoping to get like him in +time." + +"You would do well to be shaken into a bag together," said Miss +Horatia. "I dare say you'll tone down, and he'll brisk up. Now what I +want to ask you is this: Are you going to get a chance of continuing +your riding after you're married?" + +"Oh, I hope so. Cousin Thor says he will have horses. How is my dear +Sophy?" + +"She's eating her head off in the stable. Are you staying here? If so, +come over and exercise her. I think I may give my old hunter to you as +a wedding present." + +"Oh, Miss Horatia! After the way I have behaved! Why, you're a perfect +angel!" + +Impulsive Gentian seized hold of Miss Horatia's hands, and in her +pretty foreign fashion which had not altogether left her, lifted them +to her lips and kissed them. + +Miss Horatia drew her hands away with a little laugh. + +"You didn't offend me. Young people must go their own way nowadays. +I couldn't, when I was a girl—more's the pity. And you have gone up +several pegs in my estimation by your appreciation of Thorold." + +"Appreciation!" gasped Gentian. "Why I would die for him! Nobody +realizes what I feel for him!" + + +The next day she went over to see Miss Anne, who received her kindly, +but a little stiffly. + +But when Gentian told her contritely how sorry and ashamed she was for +having left them in such haste, she was graciously forgiven. + +"My sister and I have talked it over. We knew you were under our +nephew's influence, for he wrote to us about you and told us plainly +that he would not let you come back to us. You made a great mistake +in going up to town in the first instance, but that you would do. +However, all's well that ends well, and I think that Mrs. Wharnecliffe +and anyone who cares about you, must feel very thankful for your +engagement." + +"Yes," murmured Gentian; "I'm sure you think it is more than I deserve. +But it means a fresh start, and a new life, and a glorious future for +me. And I'm going to try and turn into a dowdy, virtuous, old-fashioned +wife, so that every one will say: 'How her marriage has improved her! +I never should have dreamt that that undisciplined, wilful, giddy girl +could have altered so!' I hope you'll say so, dear Miss Anne—oh, do +give me your blessing." + +Miss Anne could no more resist Gentian when she adopted her winning, +persuasive tone than anyone else. She promised she would come to her +wedding if she were able, and would be glad to see her at any time. + + +And then for the next month Mrs. Wharnecliffe kept her very busy over +her trousseau. She wanted to take Gentian for a few weeks to town to +shop there, but the girl shrank from it, and said she would much rather +get her clothes made locally. + +"You don't like a place that has made you unhappy. London was not a +friend to me. I think she is one of the cities in the world which is +pleasant for the workers and business people and the gay idlers, but +I'm a betwixt and a between, I'm not exactly a drone, and I'm not a +busy bee. I'm just a lover of sunshine and peace and quiet country. +Don't smile like that, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I'm altering a lot as I grow +older. I shall love the quietness of that grey Cornish house, and you +can't say I don't love the country here. And I'm not going to be a +smart, fashionable woman. Thorold loves me in blue, he says he wants me +to dress in nothing else, so that's easy. And we're not going to have a +smart wedding." + +"But I shall insist upon a white wedding dress," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe +firmly, "and you must have one or two nice evening frocks and some of +them not blue." + +Gentian was smiling happily, with her thoughts far away. Thorold had +told her that the picture of her standing in the doorway of that dingy +lodging-house in London had never left his memory. + +"You were dressed in a rich blue gown with turquoise beads, and somehow +you reminded me with your sad, sweet little face and big blue eyes of a +young madonna. You might have stepped out of some old Italian picture." + +"And then you discovered I was only an imp," Gentian had said to him. + +She was thinking of this now and of how Thorold had drawn her into his +arms and murmured: + +"My little blue Gentian—I want you always dressed in blue." + +Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled as she noted her abstraction of mind. She +remembered her own courting days, and made due allowance for Gentian's +moods. + + +Time slipped along rapidly; and then they went for another day or two +down to Cornwall. + +This time Frances Muir was away, and Gentian was relieved to hear it. + +The house was in the decorators' hands, and work being pushed along as +rapidly as it could be in one of the leisurable counties of England. + +Thorold and Gentian wandered over the house by themselves. + +"How I longed to furnish it when I was here before. And now we are +doing it," laughed Gentian. "Now you must promise not to laugh at me if +I ask you for one thing. There is a little empty room at the end of the +passage. It looks out west. I want a bit of the house all to myself, +and I want this room. I shall watch the sunsets from it, and in the +winter I shall see the daylight die away later than in any other room." + +"You shall have the room most certainly. It can be your boudoir." + +"No, no, it is going to be my Sanctuary. When I was in Italy, I knew +somebody—she was only a girl—one of my own friends—but she had in her +beautiful home one little room where she used to go to tell her beads +and pray before a silver crucifix. I am not a Roman Catholic. I don't +want a crucifix or beads, but I shall have a prie-dieu chair just +before the window, and I shall have my Bible on a blue cushion upon +the wide window-ledge, and when I'm in one of my passions—or when I +feel worried or depressed—I shall run away there and be quiet, and then +shall come out with peace in my heart. Sir Gilbert and you have taught +me to take all my troubles to God. I do it as a habit now. But I love +to have a little quiet closet as the Bible says, and be shut in there +alone." + +"My darling," said Thorold, bending over her and kissing rather a +wistful little face, "you shall indeed have your Sanctuary. I only wish +it were big enough for a small organ, for I think you would like one +there. But I must tell you, I am going to present the little church +here with one. I don't think you and I could stand that harmonium every +Sunday. I have talked with Dick about it, and he is very pleased. You +will be able to run into church whenever you like, and if you would +sometimes play for the Sunday services, I expect everyone would be +delighted." + +Gentian's face became radiant. + +"An organ! Oh, how lovely. It is the one thing I have felt unhappy +about, leaving dear St. Anselm's and my dear, dear organ! Why, Thorold, +there's everything we want now in this little village." + +And Thorold made response in his dry and whimsical way: + +"I am easily contented. Organs and rooms, and all such common things +only form a background to my centre. And my centre is to be kept well +and happy, so I am now going to lock this house up before she gets +overtired and take her off to the Rectory to lunch." + + * * * * * + +Many people gathered together to see Gentian married in St. Anselm's +Church. And yet it was a very quiet wedding. Neither of Thorold's young +brothers was present. Gentian was much relieved to hear of Godwin's +engagement to his Admiral's daughter, before her own engagement to his +brother was broken to him. + +It was a bright, frosty October morning. Sir Gilbert gave the bride +away, and afterwards played the wedding march himself as she and her +bridegroom came down the aisle. Through the whole of the service +Gentian seemed very composed and quiet, but her head drooped and she +never raised her eyes. + +Thorold had felt her hand tremble as he put the ring upon her finger. + +She never once looked at him till they were in the car driving from the +church to Oakberry Hall, and then when Thorold put his arm round her, +she glanced up at him through a mist of tears. + +"It's just joy," she whispered to him, "and relief that I did not take +Jim in a hurry and lose you! And it's a little bit frightening, isn't +it, getting married? We've neither of us done it before, and if you +ever were to be disgusted and ashamed of me, what should I do? Now, +don't stop me! I feel that everybody thinks me too young and foolish to +be your wife, but time will put that right, won't it?" + +Thorold's protests made her smile. + +"And now," she said, "just call me Mrs. Holt, so that I may hear how it +sounds." + + +Afterwards, at Mrs. Wharnecliffe's reception, her quiet grace and +dignity were noted by all. + +The rector's wife was much impressed by it. + +"She has improved," she said to her husband; "since Miss Ward's death +she has been much steadier. I could have wished that Mr. Holt had +done better, but of course, in the circumstances, one does not wonder +that he has married her. He considered that he had cut her out of her +relation's money." + +But it was not pity that shone in Thorold's grey eyes. He had had a +grey life, and the golden sunshine that now flooded his heart almost +dazed him. Gentian had long ago stolen into his heart; he knew that she +would be enshrined there for the rest of his life. They went off to +Italy for a fortnight and then came straight home to Cornwall. + +It had been an ideal honeymoon. Thorold looked years younger, and +Gentian had developed in many ways. She was changing from a pretty girl +into a beautiful woman. Sometimes her grave dignity with strangers made +her husband wonder. Her explanation was very simple: + +"I am not going to be that contemptible thing, a child-wife! People +shan't curl their lips, and go away and pity you. When we're quite +alone, I'll have my fun, but not in public!" + +They came to their grey manor house as dusk was falling, but there +were lights and fire to welcome them, and Frances Muir had found them +a delightful Cornish couple of the name of Tiddy. Mr. Tiddy opened +the door and made smart salute. He had been a sailor, and thought the +British Navy the most important creation on the face of the earth. +Mrs. Tiddy was clean and rosy and very small, but she moved about at +lightning pace and never wasted time in talk. Her spouse was the one +with the tongue, as she told Gentian when talking about him. + +"I knew afore us were wedded what a clacker 'e be, an' sez I, two +tongues wull soon raise the wind, one agen t'uther, zo zilent be I from +this time forth, an' so I be. But I'll say this for Jerry, 'e du wark +so well as talk." + +Most of Thorold's furniture had been brought to the house. The square +hall, with its thick rugs underfoot, and thick curtains to the doors +and windows, and blazing log fire, looked a very different place from +when Gentian had first seen it. Whilst Thorold was giving directions +about their luggage, she ran upstairs, peeped into her big, bright +bedroom, where flowered chintzes and another bright fire awaited her, +and then down the passage she went to her Sanctuary. There was no fire +here, but she turned on the electric light, which had been installed +all over the house, and looked around her, well pleased with the result +of her furnishing. + +The walls were white, the woodwork dark oak. A rich blue carpet was +on the floor, and blue velvet curtains were drawn across the windows. +The prie-dieu chair, with its blue cushion, was before the window; +there were a writing-table, an easy chair and a small book-case filled +with devotional books. Two pictures only were hung upon the walls. One +depicted Christ walking with his two disciples to Emmaus, the other +Daniel kneeling before his open window. + +Gentian drew aside the curtains. In the distance she saw a line of +silver sea. A young moon was already shining in the sky. She gazed for +a moment up into the infinite blue above her, then turned and, kneeling +upon her chair, bowed her head. + + "O God," she murmured, "I thank Thee for my husband and home. Bless us +in it. Make me a good wife, and help me to be a better Christian, for +Jesus Christ's sake—Amen." + + +A moment later and she was hanging upon her husband's arm, listening +with laughing eyes to Tiddy's talk. + +"Missus an' me will do 'ee praper, esfay us will. A've bin to sea wi' +the highest in the land, an' they be most alway single gents, and +vrom puttin' in they dashed little studs in dinner starched shirts to +cleanin' patent boots wi' a shine on they vit to see wan's face tu, +a've waited on 'em, an' got nought but praise. An' missus an' me can +well attend tu the wants of a couple like 'ee, for a du lay that man +an' maid, be they king or tinker folk, when they virst be wed, be so +ower taken up wi' each on 'em, that they be main easy to be pleased." + +Thorold laughed and drew Gentian into the smoking-room. + +"He won't find us such fools as he hopes. We dream our dreams, but I +for one can be very practical, and I think my wife can be so too." + +"I want to be everything that I ought to be," said Gentian earnestly, +then she laughingly laid her head on her husband's shoulder. + +"But there is one thing I can't and won't be, and that is a long-faced, +melancholy Christian. They ought to be exterminated, for they make +others hate religion." + +"I hope I'm not one of that sort," said Thorold smiling. + +"You? Never. You're grave sometimes, but the twinkle in your eyes +always saves you. Oh, Thorold, do you think we shall always be as happy +as we are now?" + +And Thorold, looking at the radiant young face turned towards him, +had no misgivings that life should rob her of her joyousness. He only +softly repeated some lines which he had read: + + "The heart that trusts for ever sings, + And feels as light as it had wings; + A well of peace within it springs, + Come good or ill, + Whate'er to-day, to-morrow brings. + It is His Will." + + + + FINIS + + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75231 *** diff --git a/75231-h/75231-h.htm b/75231-h/75231-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3b0fc49 --- /dev/null +++ b/75231-h/75231-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,7159 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + A Girl and Her Ways │ Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/image001.jpg" type="image/cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + font-size:12.0pt; + font-family:"Verdana"; +} + +p {text-indent: 2em;} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: 33.5%; + margin-right: 33.5%; + clear: both; +} + +/* Images */ + +img { + max-width: 100%; + height: auto; +} + +.w100 { + width: auto + } + +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; + page-break-inside: avoid; + max-width: 100%; +} + +p.t1 {text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 125%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t2 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 150%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3b { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + font-weight: bold; + text-align: center + } + +p.t4 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 80%; + text-align: center + } + +p.letter {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +p.poem { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + padding: 20px 0; + text-align: left; + width: 555px; + } + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75231 ***</div> + +<p>Transcriber's note: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image001" style="max-width: 33.8125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image001.jpg" alt="image001"> +</figure> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image002" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image002.jpg" alt="image002"> +</figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>Gentian.</b><br> +<b><em>A Girl and Her Ways</em> + <em>Frontispiece</em></b><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h1>A GIRL AND HER<br> +WAYS</h1> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +BY<br> +</p> + +<p class="t1"> +AMY LE FEUVRE<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +WARD, LOCK & CO., LIMITED<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +LONDON AND MELBOURNE<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +MADE IN ENGLAND<br> +<br> +Printed In Great Britain by Butler & Tanner Ltd., Frome and London<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3b"> +CONTENTS<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>CHAP.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_1">I AN INVASION</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_2">II THE YOUNG GUEST</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_3">III THE HOUSE THAT WAS WAITING</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_4">IV JIM PAGET</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_5">V AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_6">VI A FRESH PROPOSITION</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_7">VII A PRIVATE CHAUFFEUR</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_8">VIII THE DAY IN THE NEW FOREST</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_9">IX DARK CLOUDS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_10">X LEFT ALONE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_11">XI A VISIT TO CORNWALL</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_12">XII THOROLD'S SECRET</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_13">XIII A NEW FRIEND</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_14">XIV "I WANT YOU"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_15">XV THEIR GOLDEN TIME</a></p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t2"> +<b>A GIRL AND HER WAYS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_1">CHAPTER I</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>AN INVASION</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HE sat back in his easy chair, pipe in mouth, and newspaper on his +knee. The lashing wind and rain outside added to his sense of comfort. +He was unassailable, he knew, from all unpleasant elements. A bright +wood fire burned on the open hearth. His room was lined with books, +for he was a book lover. Everything around him was for use and not for +ornament. Some oil portraits hung on the walls, members of the Holt +family; but there was no china, no flowers, and no signs of a woman's +hand and taste in his room.</p> + +<p>Thorold Holt was now nearer forty than thirty. He had a lean, sinewy +frame, his close-cropped dark head was already streaked with grey, and +at times there was a weary look about his grey eyes which belied his +habitual cheeriness. People who knew him best said that his sense of +humour was natural, but his cheeriness a manufactured article. He had +had a hard life, and found it difficult to believe that at last his +hard times were over.</p> + +<p>An interruption came now to his solitude.</p> + +<p>The door opened, and his one manservant appeared.</p> + +<p>"Two ladies to see you, sir. I have shown them into the drawing-room."</p> + +<p>"Oh these females!" muttered Thorold with real annoyance. "Even rain +doesn't keep them indoors. A begging appeal, I suppose."</p> + +<p>He knocked the ashes out of his pipe, and rose discontentedly from +his seat. He went out into a square hall, tiled in black and white +stone underfoot, and crossed it, entering into a very stiff and +stately-looking drawing-room, with early Victorian relics, besides some +really good bits of antique furniture. Two women sat awaiting him. One +he recognized as his rector's wife. He wondered she had not given her +name, but he had only met her once before. She addressed him promptly.</p> + +<p>"I must apologize for troubling you, but I think you will have to see +this good woman, Miss Ward by name. She arrived yesterday evening from +London, and as she came to the Rectory for advice, we gave her a bed, +and after hearing her story and sifting it well, my husband and I think +it only right to bring her straight to you."</p> + +<p>Thorold stared at the two women in complete bewilderment.</p> + +<p>"But who in the world is it?" he asked. "It isn't a long lost wife, for +I have never married, and I am morally certain that I have never set +eyes on Miss Ward before!"</p> + +<p>"Miss Ward was not aware of your late cousin's death, or that you were +in possession of his property," said Mrs. Gould, the rector's wife.</p> + +<p>"Oh, then her business was with him?" queried Thorold.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward for the first time looked up and spoke. She was a +plain-featured woman dressed in black, and spoke with a slight American +accent.</p> + +<p>"The death of Mr. Charles Holt has floored me," she said; "I was +counting on his help. God knows, it's badly needed."</p> + +<p>"Well, if it is his private affair, I would rather discuss it with you +privately. Come this way. Thank you, Mrs. Gould, for bringing her up. +We will not keep you."</p> + +<p>He knew he was treating his rector's wife badly; but he had already +suffered from her insatiable thirst for managing every person she came +across. And he did not intend that she should point out to him now +wherein his duty lay.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Gould rose from her seat with great annoyance.</p> + +<p>"I shall be glad to know in good time if you are going to put her up +here to-night; and perhaps you will be able to send down to the Rectory +for her luggage. We only took her in out of kindness last night. The +village inn is not a desirable place for a single woman."</p> + +<p>"It is all such a mystery to me that I can make no promises or plans at +present," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>And then he marched the stranger into his comfortable smoking-room, and +drew up a chair to the fire for her.</p> + +<p>"Now," he said, "tell me in as few words as you can, who you are, and +what your business is."</p> + +<p>"I was a maid of Mrs. Brendon's about eleven years ago, and then I +became her companion and nursed her when she died, and I loved her. +She was my best friend on earth, and I promised her to stick to her +child, and so I have, but all along since I came across the letter, Mr. +Charles Holt has been my goal and mainstay. And it has fairly knocked +me over to know he is dead and buried!"</p> + +<p>"Will you tell me, please, who Mrs. Brendon was and what connection she +was of my cousin?"</p> + +<p>"I reckon she was a cousin like yourself; and a little more too, +judging from this letter, which I'd best show you."</p> + +<p>She produced a letter from her pocket which she handed to Thorold, and +he stood leaning his back against the mantelpiece, whilst he read it.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAR LENA,—<br> +<br> + "I have heard that you and your little one have made your home in +Capri. Well, I am glad to think of you in that sweet setting and +perhaps after the stormy turbulence of your young life, you may find +your widowhood a period of peace and rest. I should not think you were +troubled with superfluous cash, so will you let me defray the cost of +my god-daughter's education? I should like to see her one day. I am a +lonely man with few kith or kin, as you know, and I want to make her +acquaintance. Send her over to me if you ever want to get rid of her. +If she is anything like the wild slip of girl her mother was, she will +enliven my solitude, and at my death she will benefit.<br> +<br> + "Your never-forgetting cousin,<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"CHARLES HOLT."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Thorold read this through more than once. Then he looked up.</p> + +<p>"Did Mrs. Brendon answer this letter?"</p> + +<p>"No, she told me she was not going to part with her child; and if she +responded to Mr. Holt's advances, he would expect her to marry him, and +that she could never do."</p> + +<p>"Then, having made her choice, and keeping her child, why do you come +to me and produce this letter? Mr. Holt left his money elsewhere. The +child has lost her chance."</p> + +<p>The woman looked at him miserably.</p> + +<p>"What can I do?" she asked. "I haven't the money to keep her. She's +too young to keep herself. She's just a child. And I came to see Mr. +Charles Holt. I did not know he was dead."</p> + +<p>"Surely Mrs. Brendon left some money?"</p> + +<p>"She had a pension only, which stopped at her death. Colonel Brendon +saved nothing. Mrs. Brendon and I used to help out with fine sewing. +The nuns at the convent used to give us some to do."</p> + +<p>Thorold shrugged his shoulders.</p> + +<p>"I am not a rich man. I can't spare a separate income for this young +girl. Why should I? She is no relation of mine."</p> + +<p>"A cousin's cousin," the stranger murmured. "If she had come over in +Mr. Holt's lifetime, she would have been his heiress."</p> + +<p>"Where is she now?" asked Thorold abruptly.</p> + +<p>"Goodness only knows," was the unexpected answer. "Most likely rowing +down the Thames, or going over to Paris in an airship, or wandering +round Stonehenge in the dark—anywhere but where I left her, and where +she ought to be—in quiet lodgings in the Euston Road. She's out to see +England, she says, and she means to do it, though she's penniless."</p> + +<p>"Then the sooner you get back to her the better. Don't look so +desperate. I'll think things over, and run up to town in a few days, +and see you. Give me your address. If the girl is old enough to earn +her own living, we may perhaps find a job for her. Girls find it easier +to work now, than in the old days."</p> + +<p>"Thank you. If you don't help us, I don't know who will. I think I'll +be getting back to the Rectory, and leave by the first train in the +morning."</p> + +<p>He let her go, but his peace of mind was gone. He paced his room +restlessly, and sleep forsook him that night. The next morning he rode +over to a country house about ten miles away, and walked in unannounced.</p> + +<p>But two ladies had seen his approach from a window, and discussed him +pretty freely before he arrived.</p> + +<p>"Who is this riding up the drive, Lallie?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know. Yes I do! It is Thorold Holt. What on earth does he +want so early in the morning! You remember the Holts? Charles died six +months ago. We were boys and girls together. Thorold was a great chum +of mine when I was small. He used to stay over at the Manor a good +deal. His father was a judge and widower. He married again, and was +killed with his second wife in a railway smash in Italy. She was an +extravagant girl, and left three small boys. There were so many debts +that the children were in a bad way.</p> + +<p>"Thorold was a trump. He took charge of his small stepbrothers from +the time he left school. Gave up the Army as a calling on which he +had set his heart, and got a post in the city in some business firm +where he toiled early and late to make money for the boys' schooling. +They were young scamps, and the scrapes he pulled them out of, would +make your hair stand on end! He put one in the Navy, the other in the +Army, and the third went out to a tea plantation in India. He only got +the last of them off his hands a year ago, and they cost him a pretty +penny between them I can tell you! Couldn't marry because of them—so he +always says, and now he's given up the idea. I believe he was smitten +once by a girl who waited two years and then married some one else. +Thorold has never had a life of his own. He was three years at the +War and got badly wounded, but is nearly well now. He's a cheerful +philosopher, and does me good when I'm in the blues. Don't go. I want +you to know him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe, the mistress of the house, a bright, smiling young +woman, turned to greet Thorold as he entered the room.</p> + +<p>"Vera, this is Mr. Thorold Holt. He's at the Manor now, over at +Crowhurst. You haven't met Vera before, Thorold. She's an old school +friend of mine, and is taking pity on my loneliness while Frank is +away."</p> + +<p>Thorold made his greetings, then took up his position on the hearthrug, +and looked at Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a whimsical smile.</p> + +<p>"Whenever disaster comes my way I always say to myself, 'It is not good +that man should be alone,' and haste away to you."</p> + +<p>"What is it now? One of those boys again?"</p> + +<p>Vera Harrington had discreetly slipped out of the room.</p> + +<p>"A strange female was brought to me yesterday afternoon by Mrs. Gould. +She's got a child—a girl who's a connection of Charles. You remember +Lena Foster? a cousin on his mother's side whom he was wildly in love +with all his life. It's her daughter. Lena is dead, and this good woman +considers the girl should be enjoying the Manor, with its income, +instead of me."</p> + +<p>"How preposterous and absurd! Lena treated Charles shamefully. She +spoilt his life. And I was glad when her husband treated her as she had +treated others."</p> + +<p>"Oh, how hard you women are!"</p> + +<p>He proceeded to give her further details. Told her of the contents of +the letter, and then with raised eyebrows, said:</p> + +<p>"And now having fitted out three young men for life, am I to begin over +again, and take in hand a young woman?"</p> + +<p>"It's ridiculous! She has no possible claim upon you, of course."</p> + +<p>"Not legally."</p> + +<p>"But morally, I suppose you are going to say! Thorold, I should like +to shake you. Your conscience is swelled out like a big balloon! It's +too big for your body altogether. Why will you take such delight in +sacrificing yourself! Wasn't it last week you were telling me you +hardly know how to live at the Manor? You've put down half the staff +and economized in every way. How can you afford to adopt a penniless +girl? Besides it wouldn't be proper. What's her age?"</p> + +<p>"Haven't an idea—something between fifteen and twenty, I suppose. She +would have to go to school."</p> + +<p>"Not if she's over twenty. What a Don Quixote you are! Hadn't her +father any relations?"</p> + +<p>"This female says she's penniless and friendless."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at him perplexedly and he laughed.</p> + +<p>"We are sent into the world to help each other, aren't we?" he said. +"I'm going to inspect her to-morrow. Shall run up to town for a couple +of days. But I'm scared of young women. Wouldn't you like to come with +me?"</p> + +<p>"Now, Thorold, what on earth can you do with her? You go straight home +and smoke your pipe. I will go up, and inspect her and report to you."</p> + +<p>He shook his head.</p> + +<p>"Can't trust you. I assure you I won't fall in love with her, or marry +her."</p> + +<p>"But don't you see that you can't provide for her? That sort of thing +isn't done. She's either a designing minx or an innocent babe. Either +way, she's dangerous to a simple—"</p> + +<p>"Fool," put in Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Well, I think you are a bit of one sometimes."</p> + +<p>"We'll go up together by the ten express," said Thorold firmly, "and if +she's old enough and strong enough to earn her own living, we'll find +something for her."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe laughed at him.</p> + +<p>"You sound so wise; but it's not so easy, my dear Thorold, to find work +for young women nowadays. Remember the thousands of unemployed men. And +I hold with giving them the first chance."</p> + +<p>"Will you meet me at the station to-morrow?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose I shall. You mustn't go up to town alone."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And so it came to pass that the following day found them both in the +Paddington express. They reached the dingy lodging-house in the Euston +Road, and were told by a good-natured, stout landlady, that Miss Ward +was out, and the young lady in.</p> + +<p>They were shown upstairs into a shabby sitting-room with folding doors. +Nobody was there, but upon the round table was an exquisite bunch of +white narcissus and pink hyacinths, the fragrance of which scented the +room. A moment later, and the folding doors opened.</p> + +<p>A young girl stood gravely regarding them, one hand resting on the door +handle, the other half extended to greet them. Mrs. Wharnecliffe caught +her breath as she looked at her. She understood at once Miss Ward's +anxiety concerning her. A slender slip of a girl she was, dressed +in a rich blue woollen gown, which matched her eyes in intensity of +colour. A string of turquoise beads hung round her neck nearly reaching +her waist. She had a pale oval face with rather a pointed chin, and +delicate features. Soft, reddish-brown hair fell softly over her broad +low brow, and was gathered in a loose knot behind. Her blue eyes were +fringed with very dark curling lashes, her mouth had sad curves at +the corners. She was a picture of pathetic appealing youth, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe whispered under her breath:</p> + +<p>"What a darling child!"</p> + +<p>For an instant no one spoke, then the girl broke the silence.</p> + +<p>"How kind of you to come. I guess you are relations of Mr. Holt's. Miss +Ward has told me of her fruitless journey to his house. Please sit +down."</p> + +<p>Nothing could have exceeded the gravity of her manner. She seated +herself lightly on the arm of an old horsehair couch opposite them, and +slightly swung one slender foot to and fro. Mrs. Wharnecliffe began to +feel less at ease than the girl herself.</p> + +<p>"I have come up to talk things over with you," said Thorold, clearing +his throat.</p> + +<p>"What kind of things?" asked the girl softly.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked sharply across at her.</p> + +<p>The grave intense blue eyes were now quivering with mirth. The woman of +the world intervened quickly. She was not going to sit silent, and see +her quixotic friend baited for a girl's amusement.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Holt has very kindly come up to see if he can help you in any way +to make plans for the future. We hear you are very badly off, and your +friend was bitterly disappointed to find that the one she relied upon +to help you is dead. Both Mr. Holt and I knew your mother long ago, and +we want to befriend her daughter."</p> + +<p>A faint rose colour came to the pale cheeks of the girl. She drew up +her small head in a very haughty fashion, and all mirth died away.</p> + +<p>"Miss Ward brought the disappointment upon herself alone. It was +against my wish she went to beg. I am making my own plans for the +future and require no help from strangers, however kind."</p> + +<p>Thorold was about to speak, when Mrs. Wharnecliffe forestalled him.</p> + +<p>"That is good from your point of view. I wonder what you intend to do?"</p> + +<p>The girl did not appear to resent this question; she stopped swinging +her foot, and clasping her hands lightly in front of her looked +dreamily out of the window opposite her, across the chimney tops into +the grey murky sky.</p> + +<p>"It is a choice between two investments," she said in her still +grave tone. "I should prefer to live my life above the world. But an +aeroplane might not be so paying as a car. And I know less about it. I +have driven a car in Italy. Yesterday I had a lesson in driving through +the city, but my instructor practically told me that I had little to +learn. You see, my nerves are strong and steady, and I have no fear in +me. I never had. I should think a livelihood could be got easily in any +big town by motoring passengers to and from stations, and taking them +on any tour round. Miss Ward does not want me to sink all the capital I +have in a venture. But I am perfectly certain in my own mind as to the +success of it."</p> + +<p>"It's a ridiculous, preposterous idea!" spluttered out Thorold +impulsively. "No wonder Miss Ward does not approve of it."</p> + +<p>The sparkle came back to the girl's eyes, and her lips smiled.</p> + +<p>"I was told I would find English men and women working shoulder to +shoulder and doing the same jobs everywhere. Is it not so? Are there +still some of the old-fashioned sort left? Are you one of them? Why is +it so preposterous and ridiculous?"</p> + +<p>And then Thorold gave one of his hearty laughs, and for an instant the +girl looked at him with quickened interest.</p> + +<p>"Because you know nothing of life, my dear child, and very little of +men and women, I should say. How old are you? You do not look more than +sixteen."</p> + +<p>"I am two-and-twenty, and Italy is not a cannibal island. I have met +English people out there by scores, as well as Americans and every +nationality under the sun. I left school nearly five years ago. In five +years one grows fast and learns much."</p> + +<p>"Have you any friends in England?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"Ask Miss Ward. Here she is to speak for herself."</p> + +<p>The door opened and Miss Ward appeared.</p> + +<p>Thorold rose to his feet and introduced her to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +said at once:</p> + +<p>"We came up to town to see if we could befriend Miss Brendon; but she +will have none of us!"</p> + +<p>"Oh Gentian!"</p> + +<p>"Oh Waddy!" mimicked the girl pulling down her lips, and bringing a +piteous look into her blue eyes. "Now sit down and declare on whose +side you are! Mine, or theirs."</p> + +<p>Miss Ward seated herself irresolutely upon the edge of the old couch.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid we have come on a fruitless errand," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe. "It seems that your young charge here has mapped out her +future to her own satisfaction, and wants no interference."</p> + +<p>"Her future!" exclaimed Miss Ward miserably. "It will be the workhouse."</p> + +<p>"Oh no," retorted Gentian quickly; "there is unemployment pay, you +know; but that will be unnecessary as long as my hands and feet and +nerve are sound."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I beseech you," said Miss Ward, turning suddenly to Thorold, who +was sitting back looking on with amused eyes, "don't forsake us. If you +will be a friend to us, I will be everlastingly grateful."</p> + +<p>"Well, how can I serve you best?" he asked gravely and earnestly.</p> + +<p>"By having a long talk with me," she said promptly.</p> + +<p>And then Gentian rose to her feet, and put one slim hand on Mrs. +Wharnecliffe's arm.</p> + +<p>"Let us leave them," she said; "will you come this way?"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_2">CHAPTER II</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE YOUNG GUEST</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>SHE led her into the back room which, to Mrs. Wharnecliffe's surprise, +was as dainty and pretty a room as the other was dingy. The bed in +the corner was covered with a striped silk rug, and great blue satin +cushions were piled upon it. A piano was in a corner of the room, and +open music was on it. Pretty watercolour sketches were pinned upon the +walls, a Persian rug was underfoot, and flowers seemed to be everywhere.</p> + +<p>"Yes, this is my room, where I live," said Gentian.</p> + +<p>Her tones were soft now; she placed Mrs. Wharnecliffe in an easy chair; +then took a stool near her, and looked up at her with a pathetic smile.</p> + +<p>"Now I can talk. That grim-faced man with his critical eyes is away. +You are a stranger, but you have a heart. I see it in your eyes. What +is it you want me to do? I cannot and will not accept charity from +strangers. Anything but that I will do my best to comply with. You see, +do you not, that I must earn money, and earn it quickly before we come +to starvation?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe's eyes strayed to the piano.</p> + +<p>"You love music?" she asked.</p> + +<p>Gentian's blue eyes almost flashed fire.</p> + +<p>"I adore it! I have wept cauldrons because I cannot sing; but at the +convent school I played the big organ in the chapel, and was at peace."</p> + +<p>"And what else can you do?"</p> + +<p>"Drive cars."</p> + +<p>Mischief lurked in the blue eyes again.</p> + +<p>"Yes, dear, but that would be a perilous and uncertain occupation, +whereas music has many delightful possibilities. Will you play to me?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know that I'm in the mood for music now."</p> + +<p>But she moved across to the piano, for a moment gazing into space, then +dropping her fingers upon the keys, began playing. Her music was so +soft, so weird, so unutterably sad, that after listening for nearly ten +minutes, Mrs. Wharnecliffe begged her to stop.</p> + +<p>"You will make me so depressed that you will soon reduce me to tears. +What a strange child you are."</p> + +<p>Gentian twisted herself round on the music-stool, and faced her visitor +with grave, earnest eyes.</p> + +<p>"Well, I ought to be sad," she said; "I am alone in a strange country +without a relation in the world—and my only friend goes to beg from +strangers for me, and they come to try to darken the only gleam of +light in my horizon. Not a cheerful outlook is it?"</p> + +<p>"But what is your gleam of light?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe, puzzled at +this girl's quick change of mood.</p> + +<p>"Raking in pound notes by the score from driving my taxi!" replied +Gentian with a laugh so sunny and infectious that Mrs. Wharnecliffe +smiled.</p> + +<p>"You have a wonderful gift for music," she said; "you show it in your +touch."</p> + +<p>"But music is too sacred a subject with me to be bartered for sordid +money," said Gentian growing grave once more. "Oh, I know I must have +money to live. Waddy has saved, and can keep herself. I must learn +to do the same. There was £500 in the bank after mother left me—her +savings—the only thing she could leave me. I am getting through the +first hundred now. You see, it is necessary for me to start working at +once."</p> + +<p>"And where do you mean to live?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe, humouring her.</p> + +<p>"Not in London; I want to live away from houses and people—and yet I +must be in touch with them. And I want to see and know England from end +to end, as I know Italy."</p> + +<p>"Will you come and stay with me till your plans are settled? I live +in the country—in such a pretty part, and we are only an hour from +town—very little more."</p> + +<p>Gentian did not answer for a moment, then she said, "Do you live with +Mr. Holt? Are you a relation of his?"</p> + +<p>"Oh dear no, we are like brother and sister, we have known each other +all our lives; but I live with my husband, who is a busy Member of +Parliament. And we are hardly ever in town; we both prefer the country."</p> + +<p>"Thank you very much. I will talk to Waddy about it. I think I should +like to stay with you, if you will promise not to try to manage me—I +think we had better go back to the others. I do not know what plots +they may be hatching."</p> + +<p>She stepped lightly across the room and opened the door. Mrs. +Wharnecliffe followed her, wondering at the impulse that had made her +offer this strange girl a temporary home.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward and Thorold were still talking. The latter got up from his +chair with rather a satisfied smile upon his face. Mrs. Wharnecliffe at +once repeated her invitation, including Miss Ward, but that good lady +shook her head.</p> + +<p>"I should like to see a married sister of mine in Wiltshire. If you +could have Gentian for a week or so, I should be very glad."</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed gleefully, and her laughter was that of a happy +irresponsible child.</p> + +<p>"And that means, Waddy, that you hope a week or so in a grave, +well-ordered, conventional English house, with some kind and sound +common-sense drilled into me every day, will send me back to you in +an amenable frame of mind. But you are very rash in resigning your +precious charge into the hands of utter strangers. Why do you believe +in them more than you believe in me?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose," said Thorold dryly, "it is our grey hairs. I have a good +many. It's an extraordinary thing, but when you get a few years older, +you will actually place more reliance in the wisdom of the experienced +than in the very young."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him for the first time with interest.</p> + +<p>"I should like to have a talk with you," she said; "I have had one with +your friend, and Waddy has had her innings with you. It is my turn now."</p> + +<p>Thorold turned to Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"Don't you think we might go out to lunch somewhere? then we could +become further acquainted with Miss Brendon."</p> + +<p>There was some discussion. Finally Miss Ward elected to remain at home +and Gentian accompanied her new friends to a quiet and comfortable +little restaurant not very far away. She slipped into a fur coat, with +a smart little blue velvet toque, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe again assured +herself that she was dangerously attractive.</p> + +<p>"I am a kind of cousin," said Thorold as he walked by her side. "I +think it would be better and easier for us all if you were to consider +me as such."</p> + +<p>"And what do cousins do?" she asked mischievously. "I suppose they call +each other by their Christian names. You can call me Gentian, what +shall I call you?"</p> + +<p>"Cousin Thorold," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe quietly.</p> + +<p>Gentian's blue eyes turned to her.</p> + +<p>"You are afraid that Thorold will be too familiar? I must put the +cousin before it to show my respect and veneration."</p> + +<p>"Oh, that is all immaterial," said Thorold, a slight impatience in his +tone. "But being cousins, I am a relation, and so bound to look after +you a little. And as I understand from Miss Ward the peculiarity of +your circumstances, I shall do as she wants me to do, and regard you as +a trust handed on by your godfather with all his other earthly goods +and chattels."</p> + +<p>Gentian's blue eyes opened their widest.</p> + +<p>"So I'm a chattel, like his tables and chairs and books? Oh, thank you +so very much. I should like to know what you intend to do with me."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe left Gentian's other side, to administer a quiet +pinch to Thorold. As they were crossing a wide thoroughfare it was not +noticed, though Thorold rubbed his arm a little ruefully. He understood +the signal, and knew he was not to proceed quite so quickly.</p> + +<p>"Oh," he responded carelessly, "I mean to take a fatherly interest in +you. I can spread out certain plans for your future, for your refusal +or acceptance. And you can use me as a buffer when occasion requires. A +cousin in the background of a certain standing and respectability, is +an important asset sometimes."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent, then as they came to the restaurant, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe led the way, she turned back towards Thorold.</p> + +<p>"I might use you," she said slowly and thoughtfully, "till Mr. +Paget—comes to England."</p> + +<p>"And who is he?"</p> + +<p>"The man who wants to marry me."</p> + +<p>Then she followed Mrs. Wharnecliffe in without another word.</p> + +<p>And Thorold did not know whether he felt relieved by her announcement +or not. Relieved, he decided after a few minutes' reflection, for his +guardianship might prove to be of very short duration.</p> + +<p>Gentian now turned her attention to other things. She was full of +interest in her surroundings; commented on the people around her, +and asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe a hundred questions about London and its +pleasures.</p> + +<p>"I am tired of people and cities myself," she said; "but if you have to +earn your livelihood as I mean to earn mine, you are dependent on them +to support you. If I come to stay with you for a week or two, may I +bring my car down? Have you one of your own?"</p> + +<p>"We have, but you do not mean to say that you have bought one already?"</p> + +<p>She nodded.</p> + +<p>"I did it yesterday. At least I made up my mind which one I would have, +and I am taking a few trial trips with it. They send an experienced man +with you, so there is no fear. It is not a Ford, but one of these new +American ones. The Americans are more up-to-date and less expensive +than the British. I want Waddy to come with me to-morrow. I am going to +run down to Richmond and back. I have never seen Richmond Park."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at Thorold in a helpless fashion.</p> + +<p>"Has Miss Ward seen this purchase of yours?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"No. She's not much good in choosing cars."</p> + +<p>"And may we ask the cost of it?" Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked.</p> + +<p>"It will clear me out," she replied frankly; "but then, you see, it's +like purchasing a business. I shall make the price of it over and over +again. It's an investment. I know a lot about investments. I have heard +men talk and I've made them explain it to me. I reckon this will return +me 10 per cent. for my money. That's all right, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>She looked so childish as she talked, that Mrs. Wharnecliffe could only +smile at her. But Thorold seemed bent on asserting his authority.</p> + +<p>"I should like to have a look at it," he said. "I know something about +cars. Shall we go and see it now after lunch? We shall have time."</p> + +<p>For a moment a frown settled over Gentian's bright face. Then she said +with dignity:</p> + +<p>"You may come and see it, if you say nothing. I don't want you to be +countermanding my order, but you would not be so discourteous as that."</p> + +<p>So after lunch, they took a taxi to the city, and when Thorold saw the +contemplated purchase, he found to his surprise that he could find no +fault with it. He had a talk with the head of the firm, and then they +all returned to the Gower Street lodgings. But on the way there, he +said gravely to Gentian:</p> + +<p>"This is a very risky venture of yours. We don't want to throw water +on your hopes, or prevent you from earning your livelihood, but will +you let the final decision about it be postponed for a month from +this date? Come down into the country and see what English country is +like—Mrs. Wharnecliffe has invited you to be her guest."</p> + +<p>"If my car doesn't come with me, I don't come," said Gentian with great +determination.</p> + +<p>"Then have it on trial. It may not prove a good one."</p> + +<p>"I might do that."</p> + +<p>And so a compromise was made, and an hour later Mrs. Wharnecliffe and +Thorold were in the train for home, almost too bewildered by Gentian's +personality to discuss her.</p> + +<p>They felt that they and any others would be only ciphers in her life.</p> + +<p>And Thorold said with a little laugh when he parted from Mrs. +Wharnecliffe:</p> + +<p>"She seems to have come into our life like a whirlwind and taken root +at once. You know that neither of us need have anything to do with her."</p> + +<p>"I foresee trouble ahead for you," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile +and a little sigh; "because you will make other people's business your +own. You always have."</p> + +<p>"The prospective husband will come along."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't believe in him—Miss Ward would have mentioned him had +there been anything in it."</p> + +<p>"Miss Ward is kept in the dark a good deal."</p> + +<p>"Yes—well—the girl is coming to me next week, and I'll see what I can +do with her. I'm really enjoying the prospect. She's so ridiculously +young and fresh, and so world-old in her own opinion."</p> + +<p>Gentian arrived at Oakberry Hall towards the end of a bright April +afternoon. The gardens in front of the house were a blaze of colour. +Daffodils, hyacinths, narcissus, and tulips were all in their prime. +Mrs. Wharnecliffe had had a wire in the middle of the day to say that +Gentian was coming down by road. And about five o'clock, a light, +fawn-coloured car rolled up the drive. Gentian was driving it, and +was absolutely alone. Two neat suitcases and a hat-box were in the +tonneau behind. She wore a close-fitting little brown-leather cap, +and a leather coat, which she shed in the hall, and she stepped into +the drawing-room looking as fresh and dainty as if she had only just +dressed for her journey.</p> + +<p>"She's a little beauty. We've had no hitch, and I only went a couple of +miles out of my way. You've very good roads from town. I've christened +her 'Mousie.' I chose that colour because she doesn't show the dust. +Have you a chauffeur? Will he look after her?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, he will do all that's necessary. Come and have some tea. I'm +alone to-day. My husband will be very late home from town. So we'll +have a tête-à-tête dinner."</p> + +<p>"And Cousin Thorold—I don't forget the 'cousin' you see—will not be +here. I'm so glad. He's a little too interfering—means well, I dare +say. I passed Winderball coming here, your nearest town, isn't it? +I liked the look of it. It's quite big. I wonder if I could find an +opening there. I should not mind settling near you, if you would leave +me alone—I like you—no one could help liking you—you're so—so motherly."</p> + +<p>She was sitting on a low chair close to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and just for +a moment she laid a slender hand on that lady's arm.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe's eyes grew misty. She thought of two small graves +in the country churchyard close by. She had only had five years of +motherliness, and then boy and girl had both left her in a virulent +attack of scarlet fever.</p> + +<p>Gentian went on talking:</p> + +<p>"Waddy has gone off to her sister. Isn't it strange how perfectly +she trusts you? Before we came home, I had five or six different +invitations in Italy, and she would let me accept none of them. There +was the old Contessa De Nienti, she wanted me to stay with her, but +Waddy said her only friends were men of doubtful reputation, and her +house was not a fit one for a young girl. And one or two of my men +friends wanted me to go and stay with their people, and there was a +Mother Superior in the convent near. She wanted me as a guest, but +Waddy would have none of them. I suppose it is because you're so +English, and your home is an English one, like the story-books! Oh, it +is sweet to-day! I think I shall be very happy here."</p> + +<p>She paused, then added with twinkling eyes:</p> + +<p>"I and Mousie—we shall enjoy ourselves. But you will not spoil me. I +mean to be a working woman, a hard-working woman, and I must train +for it. Out in all weathers—they say you have torrents of rain +perpetually—and up early and many hours without food. I have thought it +all out."</p> + +<p>"You are not fit to rough it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, glancing at +the slim, delicate-looking girl with perplexed eyes. "If you had an +accident to your car, on a lonely road, what could you do?"</p> + +<p>"A good deal. If it was a burst tyre, I could replace it; if the engine +was too hot, I would cool it. If there were any strain or breakage of +any part of the engine or valves, I would make for the nearest garage. +I understand the making of the car. And I'm wiry and strong as iron—ask +Waddy. I love machinery. If I had been a boy, I should have been a +civil engineer."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe let her talk on all about herself. She wanted to get +at the girl's mind. Every now and then she astonished her.</p> + +<p>After tea she went out to the garage to speak to the chauffeur about +her car, then she was taken to her room by her hostess, and she stayed +there enjoying the dainty comfort of her surroundings till the dinner +gong sounded.</p> + +<p>There was no lack of conversation during the meal. Gentian talked +amusingly about her first arrival in England and Mrs. Wharnecliffe +proved herself a sympathetic listener. When it was over they went back +to the drawing-room and at her hostess' request the girl went to the +piano and began playing so softly and sweetly in the dusky twilight, +that Mrs. Wharnecliffe was charmed.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, "you ought to do something with your music. I should +like you to come over one day to a blind friend of mine. He is a great +musician and has an organ in his hall which he plays himself. I should +like you to know him. Anyone can drive a car, but it is not every one +who can play as you do."</p> + +<p>"The Mother Superior wanted me to be their organist. They had such a +lovely organ in their chapel, but though I went to a convent school, I +never became a Roman Catholic. It does not appeal to me. Waddy says I +have too modern a mind. I don't like anybody between me and God."</p> + +<p>She spoke in a hushed voice.</p> + +<p>"My little mother was not religious," she went on in that low voice; +"not till she grew ill, and then she became frightened, and thought she +had better turn, and have a priest. But I said 'No,' there was comfort +and direction to be got out of the Bible, Waddy had always told me +so, so I got it, and hunted about, and found out the most beautiful +passages! They made me long to be on my sick-bed getting near the Gates +of Paradise. And I read and read, and then I went to church to pray +for her, and then I came back and found I could pray in her room, and +we read and prayed, and prayed and read, till she was quite happy. She +asked me to put over her grave:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Unto Him Who loved us and washed us from our sins in His Own Blood.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"That was how she went to Paradise with those words upon her lips. I +think no Roman Catholic could have died more happily."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at her with soft sympathetic eyes.</p> + +<p>"You'll be a happy girl, if you have a happy religion. I believe +Christianity is meant to be so."</p> + +<p>Then Gentian gave her soft little laugh.</p> + +<p>"Waddy says it is not good to be always happy; there is a side of us +which remains uncultivated—a waste bit of ground, but when one loses +one's mother, one goes through enough anguish to last a lifetime. I +think if I may, I will go to bed now. I am rather tired."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe accompanied her upstairs, saw that she had every +comfort for the night, then came down and sat in deep thought before +the blazing fire awaiting her husband's return.</p> + +<p>He rallied her a little upon her extreme quietness.</p> + +<p>"Your new charge's responsibility has a depressing effect perhaps?" he +queried after he had come in and told her all his news.</p> + +<p>"No—not depressing," was the quick reply; "but I'm wondering if trouble +has been to my advantage or otherwise. I've lived very carelessly, +Frank. Gentian has a deeper nature than I imagined. I'm intensely +interested in her."</p> + +<p>Then she relapsed into her usual gay tone, and did not mention Gentian +again that night.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_3">CHAPTER III</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE HOUSE THAT WAS WAITING</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>GENTIAN came to the breakfast table the next morning looking the +embodiment of spring. She showed her enjoyment of her surroundings in a +very fresh and unconventional fashion.</p> + +<p>"English people are so sociable," she said; "my mother often told me +so. They do not eat their breakfast alone in their rooms, and think +over their mistakes, and sins of yesterday, but they come together and +plan their day out as we are doing now. Oh, it is all delicious. This +is how I should like to live, but it takes money to do it, does it not? +These lovely flowers and the garden of flowers up to the windows, and +the glass and the silver, and the well-laid table. Waddy and I could +never have this, never, never!"</p> + +<p>"I thought you were going to make your fortune," said Mr. Wharnecliffe +with a good-natured smile.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I hope I am. Will you let me drive you to the station this +morning in my car? You will see then that I am an experienced driver. +And I want you to test my car, and tell me if you think it is a +comfortable one."</p> + +<p>For an instant husband's and wife's eyes met across the table, then +Mrs. Wharnecliffe said:</p> + +<p>"Let her do it, Frank. We'll tell Munn he will not be needed."</p> + +<p>Gentian was delighted. She drove her host to the station an hour later, +and he found no fault with her driving, or with her car. Yet he, as +well as his wife, expressed disapproval of her taking it up as a +profession.</p> + +<p>"I would not let a daughter of my own do it on any consideration," he +told her.</p> + +<p>"But if you and your wife were taken to the other world, and your +daughter left alone with no money and no home, would not that alter the +case?"</p> + +<p>"No, I should never rest in my grave if I knew that a young girl was +being exposed to such a difficult and dangerous life."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent. She did not come straight home after she had left +the station. She picked up two old women trudging along the dusty +road with heavy baskets of eggs which they were carrying to market in +Winderball, and she drove them to their destination; then she explored +the country on the farther side of the town, and coming back, bought a +motor map of the county.</p> + +<p>When she arrived at the Hall, she found Mrs. Wharnecliffe in the garden +giving directions to her gardener. They walked through the garden +together, Gentian giving an account of her drive.</p> + +<p>"I am going to take you to have tea with Thorold this afternoon," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe presently. "He has invited us."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at her with laughing eyes but with screwed-up lips.</p> + +<p>"He must leave me alone whilst I am your guest," she said; "I feel he +will try to manage me, if I get to know him well. I suppose men can't +help that assertive manner in dealing with women."</p> + +<p>"Thorold is a dear," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe quickly; "you must not +abuse him to me. He is one of the most unselfish men on the face of the +earth, and it is only lately that he has had any leisure or comfort. He +has toiled early and late to support three young stepbrothers, and he +was very badly off before his cousin died."</p> + +<p>"Then if he has known poverty, he ought to sympathize with me."</p> + +<p>"Does he not?"</p> + +<p>Gentian turned aside to pick up a fallen rose, for Mrs. Wharnecliffe +was gathering some roses as she talked.</p> + +<p>"He looks a good man," the girl said after a short silence. "I won't +discuss him any more."</p> + +<p>She was full of interest when they motored over to Crowhurst Manor, +comparing the English country with Italy and telling Mrs. Wharnecliffe +many of her experiences there.</p> + +<p>When they drove up the chestnut avenue that led to the Manor, and +stopped before the old grey house with its ancient tiled roof and +mullioned windows, Gentian expressed her admiration. She looked +curiously about her as they entered the old square hall, and were +ushered into the smoking-room and library where Thorold usually sat. +Tea was spread on an oval table by the fire, which was an open one, and +the blazing logs shed a bright glow on the silver tea service. Thorold +came forward to greet them.</p> + +<p>"And this was my cousin's home," were Gentian's first words. Her face +was grave as she spoke. Thorold looked at her.</p> + +<p>"Are you sorry you did not come here in his life time?" he asked her.</p> + +<p>"Certainly not. He was a stranger to me. Why should I leave my mother +to go to a stranger?"</p> + +<p>"Now, Gentian," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe lightly: "we are here to enjoy +ourselves, so we won't rake up the past. Shall I pour out tea for you, +Thorold? I generally do, don't I?"</p> + +<p>She sat down to the table and made light conversation; for she did not +want any sparring matches just now. Gentian relapsed into rather a +pensive mood, but after tea she wandered up to the bookshelves.</p> + +<p>"Would you like to borrow a book?" asked Thorold. "I have all sorts and +conditions as you see. Some of them are the best friends I have."</p> + +<p>Gentian's eyes glistened as she took one and another out of their +shelves to look at. With a little nod of approval she said:</p> + +<p>"Ah yes, when I am very miserable, very lonely; when I have made Waddy +weep, and feel it's an empty world I live in, I creep inside a book, +and stay there till I'm happy again. I would like this life of a hunter +in the Himalayas; may I take it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, do, only don't wait till you are miserable to read it. And now +I want to show you my garden, and then I'm going to take you into the +small church close by. It's a little gem of the fifteenth century and +has a most wonderful screen."</p> + +<p>They wandered out into an old-fashioned sunk garden laid out in rather +the Dutch style. Gentian did not like it, and frankly said so.</p> + +<p>"Poor little bulbs, what freedom and individuality have they? All in +rows and circles, the red together and then the yellows and then the +blues! How sick they must get of each other! How they must long to get +away alone and grow their own lives as they like. When I get rich—and +I mean to one day—I shall have a garden where each flower will feel +it is an individual personality. I won't have masses of the same sort +all together—so monotonous and tame it must be for them! Ah! This is +better."</p> + +<p>She was standing in the rock garden, and in every cleft of the rocks +different plants were blooming.</p> + +<p>"You're a rebel by nature," said Thorold pleasantly; "that's the way +with a good many nowadays. Every one wants to grow as he likes."</p> + +<p>"No, no. But we can have a corner to ourselves and not have every idea +quenched."</p> + +<p>They walked across the old lawn under some ancient cedars, and then +went down a path in a shrubbery until they reached the road by a +private gate. Only a few steps down the road brought them to the little +church. It lay in the midst of trees, the churchyard was beautifully +kept and borders of spring flowers were on each side of the path, which +led up to the church door. The door was not locked, and they went in +quietly.</p> + +<p>Gentian caught her breath as she looked about her, and Mrs. +Wharnecliffe saw her blue eyes get soft and dreamy. All her quick +independent bearing seemed to forsake her; and she listened to +Thorold's account of the old carved screen, and the beautiful mellow +coloured windows, with quiet, pensive face.</p> + +<p>"Would you like to try the organ?" he asked her. "I will blow for you."</p> + +<p>For a moment she hesitated.</p> + +<p>"It's a very beautiful one, though small," he said; "your cousin +Charles had a great affection for this little church; he spent a good +bit of money on it. Everything is of the best in it, as you see."</p> + +<p>She moved towards the organ without another word. Mrs. Wharnecliffe sat +down just inside the porch and waited. She knew she was going to have +a treat, and when once Gentian's hands were upon the keys, she was not +in a hurry to take them off. Her music absorbed her; she played without +notes, and Thorold heard in wonder; he did not know she was such a +musician. She played from memory; a medley; bits of Mozart, Chopin, and +Bach. Then very softly and sweetly she began to improvise, and time and +surroundings faded right away from her. She started when at last Mrs. +Wharnecliffe touched her elbow.</p> + +<p>"Your blower will be getting tired. You have been playing for over half +an hour."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it has been heavenly."</p> + +<p>Her cheeks were flushed and eyes bright, but she slipped off the organ +stool at once, and thanked Thorold very prettily when he joined them +again.</p> + +<p>"It's a good instrument," he said.</p> + +<p>"Yes, almost as good as the convent one."</p> + +<p>"And now I want you to come along the road a little farther," Thorold +said.</p> + +<p>He and Mrs. Wharnecliffe walked out of the church together, but Gentian +lingered behind, and when he turned he saw her kneeling in the aisle, +her head buried in her hands.</p> + +<p>She caught them up a few minutes later. Her face was perfectly radiant.</p> + +<p>"I like your organ and your church better than your house and your +books," she said.</p> + +<p>He smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"It's safer," he said.</p> + +<p>She hardly heard him.</p> + +<p>"What a darling sweet little house," she said, stopping suddenly before +a small green wooden gate, and looking up a tiled path edged by box +borders, to a quaint low grey stone house with broad windows, red +japonica and yellow jasmine climbing up its walls.</p> + +<p>"This used to be the Vicarage," he said, "and was in your cousin's +gift; but since his death, Crowhurst has been joined to the next parish +where our rector lives, and I let this furnished. We lost our tenants a +couple of months ago. Would you like to come inside? I have the key."</p> + +<p>"I think it's one of the cosiest houses I've ever seen," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe enthusiastically; "and it has an oak staircase nearly two +hundred years old, Gentian. Come along in. I always envy the inmates of +this house."</p> + +<p>They walked up the path, and Gentian was like a child in her ecstatic +admiration over the low, quaint, old-fashioned room, with roomy +cupboards in the thick walls, and oak beams across the ceilings. There +were two sitting-rooms and a large kitchen downstairs and four sunny +bedrooms above with a long attic in the roof.</p> + +<p>The furniture was in keeping with the house, the walls were all +coloured a pale apple green, the doors and wainscotting dark oak.</p> + +<p>Gentian stood at one window overlooking a small garden and an apple +orchard at the back.</p> + +<p>"There are English cottages and houses left like one reads of in +books," she said; "how pretty I could make this!"</p> + +<p>"Would you like to try?" Thorold asked. He was sitting on the edge of +an oak table, and looking at Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and not at Gentian as +he spoke.</p> + +<p>"What do you mean?" the girl asked quickly.</p> + +<p>"Well, it seems waiting for some one, and Miss Ward thought it might +suit you and her for a short time, until your plans were settled, or +for longer if it suited you!"</p> + +<p>"And what may be the rent?" demanded Gentian, looking at him with +surprise, pleasure, but also with a little defiance in her gaze.</p> + +<p>"We are in need of an organist," Thorold said slowly; "the present +one has to ride over here every Sunday from the next parish, and he's +an old man and he wants to give it up. If we could get hold of an +organist, who would take the house in lieu of a salary, it would suit +us down to the ground."</p> + +<p>"I hope you'll get one," was Gentian's cheerful response; "Waddy and I +would not care to take a house and make it pretty, only to be turned +out for some one else shortly."</p> + +<p>"But why shouldn't you be the organist?" said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +had been keeping silent with some difficulty up to now.</p> + +<p>Gentian turned to her with laughing eyes.</p> + +<p>"And this is the plot which Cousin Thorold began to hatch with Waddy in +London, and which put her in such a good temper. Do tell me the whole +of it. Of course I was brought to see my gilded cage to-day. It really +is a darling little cage, but I'm afraid it's too out of the way for my +car. And it's—it's too near my thoughtful cousin."</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't think about me," said Thorold dryly, "I like to live my +life alone I should not expect you to be running in and out. You might +borrow a book occasionally, perhaps."</p> + +<p>"How kind!" said Gentian. "But you see I must earn money to buy clothes +and food. This house won't provide that—and who would want to employ +my car out here? I might drive into Winderball every day, certainly. I +must think about it and let you know."</p> + +<p>A shadow of sadness came into her eyes.</p> + +<p>"It's strange how kindness brings one a sense of loneliness. I have to +settle my life apart from you two, for your one idea is to give, and I +am a bad taker; Waddy tells me I am. I will not take from you, Cousin +Thorold."</p> + +<p>"But this is not a gift. It is an exchange for your services. And +remember it belonged to your cousin Charles, and do you know I am a +little afraid of ghosts?"</p> + +<p>"Are you? How interesting! I think I'm rather fond of them. At least I +should be if I saw any. It would be so uplifting and mystical. Whose +ghost do you fear?"</p> + +<p>"Your cousin Charles. He might be very angry if I did not act towards +you as he would have done."</p> + +<p>"Oh, he's an unknown person to me."</p> + +<p>Gentian was standing in the doorway as she talked.</p> + +<p>"Hush!" she said suddenly, putting her finger on her lip.</p> + +<p>A pert little robin hopping about the tiled path flew past her into the +house. He perched himself on an oak chest in the tiny hall and lifting +up his voice burst into ecstatic song.</p> + +<p>Gentian's pathetic face was instantly illumined with sunshine.</p> + +<p>"The darling! That settles it. I'll be your organist, Cousin Thorold, +and come here to-morrow, if you like. Waddy will have to find the money +to live here. I shan't want much in the way of food if I have music and +robins and flowers to feed me, and I shall try to earn money at once. I +shall have my car, and I'll take it to the station at Winderball every +morning on the chance of picking up passengers."</p> + +<p>"That's settled then. St. Anselm's Vicarage is to be your new home."</p> + +<p>There was relief in Thorold's tone, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled.</p> + +<p>"You will be near enough, dear, for me to see you very often," she said +affectionately.</p> + +<p>"And I shall be still nearer Cousin Thorold," said Gentian with a +doubtful look at him, "but he has assured me he never wants to see me."</p> + +<p>"I shall be close at hand if you get into difficulties," said Thorold +quickly.</p> + +<p>They were out in the garden now. Gentian was on her knees in a moment, +picking some daffodils from a bed under the window, and sticking them +in her belt.</p> + +<p>"It's a darling little sunny home," she said.</p> + +<p>And then she relapsed into silence until they had walked up the road +and reached the Manor. Here Mrs. Wharnecliffe's car was waiting for +them.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Thorold, smiling at Gentian, "you must write to Miss Ward +and tell her that you like the idea of living in the Vicarage. And you +can settle in as soon as you like."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian, putting a hand on his coat sleeve and speaking +very earnestly, "Waddy and I will be very happy here, if you will +promise to leave us alone. It sounds rude, but I dread being managed by +a man, and being pestered by his ideas of propriety and convention. I +must live my life apart from your protection and care. I thank you with +all my heart for giving Waddy and me this home. But your kindness and +generosity must stop here. Let me feel that I am free in that house. Do +not make it into a cage. Good-bye."</p> + +<p>She stepped lightly into the car with a wave of the hand. Thorold went +into his house shaking his head.</p> + +<p>"All very well, my young lady. But you have dropped into my life like +a thunderbolt, and I believe you have come to stay. Boys are a serious +charge, but a girl is a stupendous one!"</p> + +<p>Driving home, Gentian chattered away to Mrs. Wharnecliffe as gaily as a +bird.</p> + +<p>"I like the little house, and the organ almost next door will make life +a perfect joy. But I shall have to earn my living, and the question +is, will this county produce enough customers—fares—for me? I imagine +most people who have big houses like you, have their own cars, and +the country people in their sweet little cottages have no money to +hire cars—they walk along the roads carrying their baskets like those +dear old dames I took up in my car the other day. The class I want are +city men going to town, and sightseers—Americans, who want to see the +English country. I have a thought! Thomas Cook, who runs cars in town +himself, might help me. I will tell him I am only forty minutes from +town, and will take parties to do the English country."</p> + +<p>"My dear child," interrupted Mrs. Wharnecliffe, "you are not running a +char-à-banc! Your car only holds four besides the driver."</p> + +<p>"Five. No, I will only take private parties."</p> + +<p>She relapsed into silence, looking very pensive, for a few minutes, +then her face cleared, and seemed flooded with sunshine.</p> + +<p>"I will just live day by day, and I am going to fill myself with joy +and peace, getting into that anchorage of bliss, that darling nest of a +vicarage. May I give it another name, do you think?"</p> + +<p>"No, I should not alter it, for the country round know it by that name. +St. Anselm's Vicarage, Crowhurst, is a pretty address, I think."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When they arrived home, Gentian found a packet of letters awaiting her. +She went off to her room with them, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not see +her till dinner time.</p> + +<p>She was rather silent through the meal. Afterwards, when Mr. +Wharnecliffe had retired to his smoking-room for a perusal of +the evening papers, she said to her hostess as they sat over the +drawing-room fire:</p> + +<p>"I heard from Mr. Paget to-day."</p> + +<p>"Is he your English friend?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, the only Englishman I have ever liked. Many of them came out to +Italy with arrogant voices, and found fault with everything, and others +seemed to be always busy making or losing money at the Casino. Jim +Paget loved Italy, he does not like his country. He is in London now."</p> + +<p>"But you are not really engaged to him, Gentian, are you?"</p> + +<p>She gazed into the fire dreamily without speaking for a few minutes; +then her blue eyes looked at Mrs. Wharnecliffe very quietly and +directly.</p> + +<p>"I am still thinking about it."</p> + +<p>"Tell me a little more about him, dear. Describe him to me."</p> + +<p>"He is tall and fair, but his eyes are quick and restless, not like +Cousin Thorold's. His are still and steadfast, but they break up +sometimes into pools of laughter. I like him then, even when I know he +is quietly laughing at me—Jim would never laugh at me, never! But he +is magnetic and he pulls me after him sometimes against my will. He +is very quick and enthusiastic, and lives his life breathlessly, and +he would drag me after him anywhere and everywhere if I married him; +and mind and body are so strong, I cannot keep pace with him! I should +never have repose, and though I love doing and seeing everything, I +like when I have done it all to sit down and rest and think about it. +Jim never rests; he can think as he's rushing on. But oh, he is so full +of life, that he keeps me full too!"</p> + +<p>"Has he any parents living?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, in Northumberland. That is the far north of England, is it not?"</p> + +<p>A grave look came into her eyes, then she shook her head in a pretty +careless way.</p> + +<p>"We have discussed him enough. He is in England, so you may meet him +and see what he is like. Now tell me, shall we go over to-morrow to the +Vicarage and open its cupboards, and get out all the curtains, and see +how pretty we can make it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I think we can; we will go in the morning. In the afternoon I +want to take you to see my blind friend, Sir Gilbert Winnington."</p> + +<p>"I am going to have a charming time here," said Gentian, smiling up at +her hostess like a pleased child. "I feel it was a happy day when we +made each other's acquaintance."</p> + +<p>"Indeed it was," responded Mrs. Wharnecliffe warmly.</p> + +<p>And when Gentian had gone to bed, she said to her husband: "I feel +increasing responsibility over this child. She is the last sort of girl +to be out in the world alone, and I don't think Miss Ward is strong +enough in character to deal with her. I wish she would give up this +motor business."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps it will give her up," responded her husband cheerfully.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe shook her head doubtfully.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_4">CHAPTER IV</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>JIM PAGET</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE next morning Mrs. Wharnecliffe took Gentian over to St. Anselm's +Vicarage. Thorold's old housekeeper was already there. They spent a +very happy two hours in the house, for Mrs. Wharnecliffe was never +happier than when arranging and beautifying rooms; and Gentian was like +a joyous child, dancing in and out, and singing gay little Italian +songs under her breath.</p> + +<p>By the time they were obliged to return home, chintz curtains were +hanging in the windows, pretty rugs were underfoot upon the stained +floors, and the whole house wore a habitable aspect.</p> + +<p>As they were walking away from the door, Thorold passed down the road. +Mrs. Wharnecliffe called to him.</p> + +<p>"I hope everything is all right?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes," responded Gentian, turning towards him her glowing radiant face. +"It's the dearest little house in the world, and I've discovered that +there are swallows building under the eaves. Does not that bring us +luck? I am longing for Waddy to see it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe turned to speak to her chauffeur, and Gentian's eyes +suddenly became soft and grave.</p> + +<p>"I want to speak to you alone," she said to Thorold.</p> + +<p>"We will walk down the road," he said. "I hope you have no fresh +difficulties about the house?"</p> + +<p>She shook her head.</p> + +<p>"No, no. It is this. I have taken advantage of your kindness. I have +claimed cousinship with you in a letter to a friend, and I thought I +had better tell you."</p> + +<p>"That is what I hoped you would do," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>She clasped and reclasped her hands rather nervously. "It is Mr. Paget +who has made it necessary. He is too rapid, too dictatorial, he sweeps +me off my feet, and he wrote to me as if I were quite alone and forlorn +in the world, and he said he wanted me to meet his parents, that they +were very anxious to make my acquaintance, that they were staying in +London and he was much disappointed that I had left town so soon. He +expected me to come up at once and see him—to-morrow—and then he hoped +I would come and stay with them in the North, but though he did not say +it, I felt his parents would not invite me on a visit, unless they saw +me and liked me; and I am not accustomed to that sort of thing. It is +not for me to go to them for inspection, I prefer they come to me, and +I do not want to be bothered with his parents at present. I am very +happy here, and I shall be too busy earning my living soon to be paying +visits in the North. So I wrote and said I might not be visiting London +again for a long while; that I had a cousin down here, and that I was +making my home here for the time. Do you mind? I hope not. I shall be +using you as a buffer when occasion requires."</p> + +<p>Thorold smiled.</p> + +<p>"Ah, yes! I told you that, did I not? Very wise of you. I think I had +better make acquaintance with this young fellow, and let him see that +you must be treated with respect."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Gentian airily; "that is not necessary. I can keep him in +his place. I would be friends with no one who did not show me respect."</p> + +<p>Her little head rose a good inch higher as she spoke.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Wharnecliffe must invite him down," Thorold said in his quiet +determined manner. "I forget whether you are formally engaged to him or +not?"</p> + +<p>"You cannot forget, for you have never been told," flashed forth +Gentian; and then she made him a little graceful foreign bow, and +turned back to the car.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe saw from Thorold's amused eyes and the girl's +heightened colour, that there had been a few words between them, and +Gentian soon enlightened her.</p> + +<p>"My cousin Thorold is a little too inquisitive," she said presently. +"He thinks he has a right to know all my friends. And I see no reason +for it. But I would like you to know Jim Paget, he is an Englishman and +has a home I think something like yours. And he wants to see me, but it +is not comme il faut for me to fly to him. He must fly to me. Would it +be presuming on your kindness to ask you to receive him one day? And I +could fetch him from the station in my car."</p> + +<p>"No, I would not like that. Certainly, dear, we will ask him down, but +I will send our car for him. I was going to suggest having him here if +you want to see him."</p> + +<p>"Thank you very much. I will write to him at once."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In the afternoon Mrs. Wharnecliffe drove her over to see her old blind +friend, Sir Gilbert Winnington.</p> + +<p>Gentian looked with interest at the old Tudor house as they approached +it. The green leaves and shrubberies surrounding it with the spring +flowers again evoked her admiration.</p> + +<p>"You have not the colour we have in Italy, but you are cool and green +and shady and your trees are so big and old, that they look as if +they've been here for hundreds of years."</p> + +<p>"And so they have," replied Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "And this house is five +hundred years old."</p> + +<p>"Has your friend always been blind?"</p> + +<p>"No, only about seven years. He lives quite alone with a secretary who +is devoted to him. But he often has nieces staying with him, and he is +the most cheery contented being in the world."</p> + +<p>They were shown into a long low room which struck Gentian as one of the +most comfortable she had seen in England. Books and pictures abounded; +the easy chairs and couches were, all covered with soft blue leather, +blue velvet curtains hung from the tall narrow windows, and thick +Persian rugs were under foot.</p> + +<p>At a table near an open window sat Sir Gilbert and his young secretary. +Gentian was introduced to them both, and then Mr. George Damers slipped +away, and Sir Gilbert made his visitors comfortable beside him.</p> + +<p>"I am so glad you have brought your young friend to see me," Sir +Gilbert said in a cheerful tone; "I always do like to have young people +round me."</p> + +<p>"How do you know I am young?" asked Gentian.</p> + +<p>"By your voice," was the quick reply. "And you are quicksilvery by +nature, and a little impatient."</p> + +<p>"You are a wizard! Waddy is always telling me the same."</p> + +<p>Then Gentian criticized her host. He was a tall, good-looking man, +with a short grey beard, and rather delicately cut features. But there +was a wonderfully peaceful look upon his face; he reminded Gentian +of some of the saints in the pictures she had seen abroad. He and +Mrs. Wharnecliffe talked together for some time and then he turned to +Gentian.</p> + +<p>"I hear you play the organ. Come and see mine. It is in the hall."</p> + +<p>He led the way without a falter in his step, and it was not difficult +to persuade him to play. Gentian sat back in an old carved chair in a +dark corner of the hall, and as she listened, her whole soul was moved +within her.</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert played as she had heard few play before. The sweetness of +the notes thrilled her through and through. Mrs. Wharnecliffe listened +for some time, and then slipped away. She wanted to speak to Mr. +Damers, and also wanted to leave Gentian alone with Sir Gilbert.</p> + +<p>When he at last ceased playing Gentian was at his elbow, and tears were +in her voice.</p> + +<p>"Oh, it is beautiful! How can you play so! You touch my heart. It is +like the angels must play in Paradise. Some people move to laughter and +gaiety with their music, and some awe one, and some move to tears, but +you draw one up and away to God himself. How do you do it?"</p> + +<p>He turned round on the organ stool and smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he said. "You respond to music, you love it. And do you love God, +little one?"</p> + +<p>"When I am in church I do, and when I listen to music; and sometimes +when I make it myself."</p> + +<p>"And never when you are quiet and still? Or do you never give yourself +time to be quiet?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I am quiet when I see a beautiful sky, or the moonlight over a +lake, or the afterglow of the sunset on the snow mountains."</p> + +<p>He placed his hand on her shoulder.</p> + +<p>"Thank God every day of your life that you can see these things. He has +given you much. What have you given Him? When we love we give."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked up at him with a wistful gleam in her blue eyes.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't love like that. I give a little money in church sometimes."</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert smiled.</p> + +<p>"It isn't your pocket God wants, but your soul, the little soul that is +still fresh and young and full of life and energy."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent. She laid her hand on his sleeve and after a minute +she said:</p> + +<p>"I like people to talk to me like that. No one ever has. And I want to +get near Heaven. How can I give God my soul when I am alive? I hope He +will take it when I die. When I think of Our Lord on the Cross I love +Him, but I do not think often enough. I forget! There is so very much +to interest me in the world. I want to see all I can, and know all I +can, and do all I can. It does not give me time for thinking much."</p> + +<p>"Will you spare half an hour every evening before you go to sleep, to +think about these things?"</p> + +<p>"I will try," was Gentian's sober reply.</p> + +<p>"If you live your life in touch with God, you will make a success of +it. If not, you are one of this world's failures."</p> + +<p>"I do not like being a failure, but I love to be happy. I could not go +into a convent and stay there as so many good women do."</p> + +<p>"God forbid. He wants you to enjoy life abundantly, but to enjoy it +with Him, and in His service."</p> + +<p>"Play again to me, it helps me to think."</p> + +<p>So the blind man turned to his organ, and soon Handel's beautiful +"Comfort ye my people" was pealing through the silent hall.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe slipped back to listen to it.</p> + +<p>When it was over Gentian's eyes were full of tears. But when they moved +into another room to have tea, she exerted herself to talk. George +Damers came back; he was a tall grave-looking youth, with something of +Sir Gilbert's sweet expression about his face. He was very attentive to +Sir Gilbert's wants, but when the meal was over Sir Gilbert asked him +to show Gentian the conservatory. The brilliancy and variety of flowers +there delighted her.</p> + +<p>"What a pity Sir Gilbert can't see his flowers. Why does he have them?"</p> + +<p>"He can smell them. He loves flowers. His life has not narrowed since +he became blind. I think, on the contrary, it has widened."</p> + +<p>"You are very fond of him, are you not?"</p> + +<p>"He is a man in a thousand," was the quick reply. "I have reason to +be grateful to him, for I was at my wits' end—I was one of those +discharged soldiers after the war—incapable of continuing in the army, +and I could do nothing else. He heard of me by chance, and took me in +straight away. And every day the post is the medium of bringing relief +to hundreds of others like myself, and every one he helps, he takes +into his life. His purpose in it all is a great one, but he never talks +about it."</p> + +<p>"I think," said Gentian slowly, "that he makes every one he knows +better, doesn't he? He makes them good, like himself."</p> + +<p>"He tries to, at all events," the young secretary said.</p> + +<p>Gentian rejoined Sir Gilbert in a thoughtful frame of mind. He talked +with her about her music, made her a present of a volume of short organ +voluntaries, and wanted her to try his organ, but this she declined to +do.</p> + +<p>"I could not play this afternoon," she said. "I have been listening to +you, and your music and your talk is filling all my thoughts."</p> + +<p>On their way home she told Mrs. Wharnecliffe that she was sure that Sir +Gilbert would not live very long.</p> + +<p>"He is too good to live," she asserted. "I have seen women who are +good, but not men. Men leave religion to women—unless they are monks or +clergymen. Sir Gilbert spends his days in pleasing God. People in the +world don't do that unless they are going to die."</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear child," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, smiling; "sometimes I +wonder if you are six or sixty. Sir Gilbert is a very ordinary English +gentleman. People call him a philanthropist, for he is very interested +in all things that help and benefit young people. And he has a +wonderful personal influence over them. There are many good men in the +world, I'm glad to say, though you may not have met them. Goodness is +not confined to dying men."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent. She was very quiet for the rest of that day, but +the next morning seemed quite to have recovered her usual high spirits.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Two days afterwards, Jim arrived. Mrs. Wharnecliffe liked the look of +him. She was amused at the determination on his part to be a big unit +in Gentian's life, and at her proud aloofness and determination that he +should keep his distance, and only have what she chose to give him.</p> + +<p>He swept away at once all idea of Gentian assuming the profession of +chauffeur.</p> + +<p>"It is ridiculous, and impossible, and out of the question. You must +come and stay with us, and my mother will show you why it is the last +calling in the world for you."</p> + +<p>"But I do not know your mother," said Gentian slowly, "and her views +and mine might be very far apart."</p> + +<p>Jim was a tall, muscular young fellow. Be towered over Gentian now, +like some great Saxon giant.</p> + +<p>"You alone in a car driving strange men about! Do you think your +mother would have allowed it! I've seen three women chauffeurs. Thank +goodness, they're of a different sort and make to you! And if you get +hung up, with a burst tyre or a puncture or get run into by one of +these char-à-bancs, where are you then? It's preposterous, absurd, not +to be thought of! If you have a craze for motoring, you must come to +us, and I'll tour you round for a bit. We'll take a run over the border +into Scotland. You want to see everything and you must see that. When +will you come? My people will be in town for the next fortnight, but +they'll be home the end of the month. Can you come to us the first week +in June?"</p> + +<p>"I think not," said Gentian. "I am going to move into my new house with +Waddy that week. I am very much occupied just now. In England we do not +live the life of Italy. There the sun and the flowers help to keep you +lazy. It is just a life of pleasure, of taking your ease. Here every +one who is not rich works, do they not, Mrs. Wharnecliffe? Girls as +well as men. We have to earn our daily bread. My car and my music and +my house will take up all my time. My cousin has placed this house at +my disposal, he lives near—"</p> + +<p>"But do you mean that you will not pay us a visit?" Jim Paget's face +showed great discomposure. "Your cousin, you say—you did not know +he existed a few months ago. What has he to say to it? We are old +friends—we are more than old friends—we—"</p> + +<p>He glanced at Mrs. Wharnecliffe impatiently, wishing her out of the +room, but she did not take the hint.</p> + +<p>Gentian was perfectly serene and composed.</p> + +<p>"I am very glad to see you, Jim. We are old friends, as you say, and +perhaps some time later in the summer I may like to come and see your +mother. But not just now. Have you a rock garden in your home? Mrs. +Wharnecliffe has a beautiful one; would you like to come and see it?"</p> + +<p>Jim Paget got up with a sigh of relief, and Wharnecliffe wisely let the +two young people wander out into the garden by themselves. They were +there a long time. Sitting in her drawing-room by the open window, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe was at last aware by the sound of their voices that they +were returning to the house.</p> + +<p>Jim's voice was raised in indignant protest. "Are you going to keep me +hanging about till you see some one you may like better?"</p> + +<p>"No, dear Jim. I will not do that, take your dismissal at once. I mean +it. I will not be bullied. Every one thinks he can browbeat and manage +a girl that is alone. And I have a soul and mind as well as my body, +and it is my soul you do not understand. It will not lie down to be +trampled upon. If I married you, it would not be my own at all; you +would have it in your hands, refusing to let it breathe and slowly +squeezing it to death."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Gentian, don't be so ridiculous!"</p> + +<p>Jim's face was hot, and his tone not too gentle.</p> + +<p>And then Gentian came with flying steps into the drawing-room through +the open French windows. She stopped short for an instant when she saw +Mrs. Wharnecliffe, then she slipped into an easy chair with a little +sigh.</p> + +<p>"It is very warm in the garden. We have seen your rock garden, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, and I believe Jim has gone to his room to pack up his +things."</p> + +<p>"But he is staying with us another night, is he not?"</p> + +<p>"I don't think he will. Urgent business will summon him to town."</p> + +<p>There was a hint of laughter in Gentian's wonderful blue eyes. Mrs. +Wharnecliffe wondered if she were heartless.</p> + +<p>But Jim was not easily crushed. He came down to dinner that night and +talked politics hard with Mr. Wharnecliffe, showing himself a keen +student of his country's constitution. He almost ignored Gentian, +who was very quiet and pensive, and after dinner went off to the +smoking-room with his host.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not press for Gentian's confidence and the girl +retired early to bed. Jim said nothing about leaving, but came into the +drawing-room just as Mrs. Wharnecliffe was about to leave it.</p> + +<p>"May I speak to you?" he said very earnestly.</p> + +<p>"Come along and sit down," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe cheerfully; "Gentian +has gone to bed. She was tired."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I would not have troubled her with my company to-night," he said a +little bitterly.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid you young people have been rubbing each other up," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "Can I help towards smoothing matters out? First of +all, I should like to know how things are between you."</p> + +<p>"We are virtually engaged," said Jim quickly. "At least, I thought we +were. Gentian has never been practical about it, she always says we +don't know each other well enough to be sure whether we shall suit each +other. And I—I'm desperately in love with her. I've been so for five +years. You don't know her as I do. She's the sweetest-natured girl in +the world, but elusive, and she lives in a dream world of her own, +and thinks every one a saint, and her moods are as many as the stars +in the heavens. She's angry with me now, but in the morning she'll be +sorry—she always is. I cannot stand her taking up this car business. Is +she fit for it? Do you consider she is?"</p> + +<p>"Most certainly not, but though I don't know her as well as you, I know +she must be persuaded and not driven, and I am going slowly. I don't +think it will come to anything."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know. She has such a daring adventurous streak in her. I +want you to be my friend, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I can afford to marry. +I am in business in the city, and it's doing well. I can give her a +comfortable home, and at my father's death, I come into the family +property. I'm the only son. Gentian has no need to earn her living. I +am ready and waiting to give her a happy home. Do talk to her, and let +something definite come of this visit of mine. I'm so glad to find her +amongst people of her own. You're a kind of cousin, aren't you? Do, for +her sake, if not mine, persuade her to be properly engaged to me, and +then we'll get married as soon as possible."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe was touched by the young man's impetuosity.</p> + +<p>"Do you think you would be really able to make her happy?" she said +slowly. "You see, I place Gentian first. She is almost like a daughter +to me already, and I am certain that if Gentian married where she did +not really love, a very unhappy future would be in store for herself +and her husband. She is a very wilful little person. I think you are +the same. Would you expect her to give way to you always?"</p> + +<p>Jim looked slightly uncomfortable.</p> + +<p>"Oh, if she belonged to me, I would make her happy," he said; "it's the +uncertainty that irritates me at times."</p> + +<p>"Do you want me to talk to Gentian and plead your cause?"</p> + +<p>"If you will. She's missed her mother so, and old Waddy is no good at +all. You're a woman of the world, and you can make her see that we +can't go on in this indefinite way any longer. It's good for neither of +us."</p> + +<p>"And you'll take your dismissal courageously and quietly, if she wishes +it?"</p> + +<p>Jim's face fell.</p> + +<p>"Oh, she can't dismiss me after all these years. I won't think it +possible."</p> + +<p>They talked together for some little time, and finally Mrs. +Wharnecliffe promised to speak to Gentian the next morning.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_5">CHAPTER V</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE young people met at breakfast as if nothing had happened between +them. Gentian was her bright happy self again; she wanted to drive Jim +to the town in her car, but he made the excuse that he was going to +write business letters in the library and would prefer not to go out +till the afternoon.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe was just going to speak to Gentian when Thorold +arrived over. He had come to ask Gentian if she could possibly take the +organ the following Sunday.</p> + +<p>"Could I do it?" she questioned half-diffidently, half-eagerly.</p> + +<p>"If you come to the practice to-night at six o'clock, our organist +would be there, and would put you in the way of it; but he has to +go away to see a sick relation to-morrow, and will not be back till +Monday."</p> + +<p>"I'll come. Mr. Paget is here; would you like to see him?"</p> + +<p>"I shall be very glad to make his acquaintance. Does he know of the +buffer's existence?"</p> + +<p>"I've dragged you into every other sentence. I think he thinks you and +Mrs. Wharnecliffe are brother and sister, and you mustn't undeceive +him."</p> + +<p>Then she looked at him sternly.</p> + +<p>"I remember now, you told me you wished to see my friend, and the organ +is just an excuse. You came on purpose to see him."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I did," said Thorold dryly.</p> + +<p>"He is in the library, writing letters. I don't think he wishes to be +disturbed."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I will fetch him," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who had no qualms about +interrupting her visitor's occupation.</p> + +<p>She was not surprised to find him smoking a cigarette and moodily +sitting by the window doing nothing.</p> + +<p>"I want you to make acquaintance with Gentian's cousin, Mr. Holt," she +said cheerfully. "May I bring him in here?"</p> + +<p>"This is your house," the young fellow said, rising hastily from his +seat in some confusion; "of course I shall be very glad to see him."</p> + +<p>So Thorold was brought in and introduced; and then Mrs. Wharnecliffe +went back to Gentian, who did not look very pleased. "Cousin Thorold is +very obstinate in doing his own will," she said; "why does he come over +to see Jim Paget? Does he want to see if he is a fit friend for me? +If he was a gorilla, I should stick up for him if I wanted to. Cousin +Thorold couldn't well prevent me."</p> + +<p>"Now, Gentian, my dear child, I want you to be frank with me. This +Mr. Paget considers you are virtually engaged to him. Is this so? He +evidently wants matters to be settled. Is it that you cannot make up +your mind? Do you really like him? I want to help you if I can. He +says he has known and loved you for five years. You cannot keep a man +waiting too long, though I own you are full young yet to marry. He +seems to me a nice straightforward man with means of his own and he is +very fond of you."</p> + +<p>"He has been getting hold of you. I told you the other day what I feel +about him. He is too strong-willed for me. I don't know which is worst, +he or Cousin Thorold. Of course Cousin Thorold is more reliable, and a +little kinder. I saw him pick up a village child and kiss it the other +day when it had fallen and hurt itself. Jim would never do that, he +would push it out of his way. Jim is going through the world elbowing +people right and left—clearing his way, and knocking down everybody +and everything that stops his progress. Cousin Thorold looks out for +those he can help, but he likes to manage those he helps, and that's +where they are alike. Jim likes to manage too. No, it's no good, Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, if Jim wants his answer now, I'll give it to him, but +I shall be awfully sorry if he goes away in a huff and never sees me +again; because I shall have no friend left then; and he has always been +as good as a brother to me."</p> + +<p>"It is only fair to him that it should be one thing or the other," said +Mrs. Wharnecliffe; "if you don't want to marry him, you must not keep +him hanging round you."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent. Then she said in an animated tone: "Now I wonder +what those two are talking about? May I go and see?"</p> + +<p>"I think you had better wait. They will come to us when they want us."</p> + +<p>And in a very few minutes Thorold came in. He addressed himself to +Gentian.</p> + +<p>"The interview has been very satisfactory. I like your friend."</p> + +<p>"How kind of you!"</p> + +<p>Gentian's tone was non-committal. It might have been sarcasm, or an +expression of pleasure.</p> + +<p>"But I have told him that you are settling down here for the present, +and he must not worry you to go away, if you want to stay here."</p> + +<p>"No one will worry me to do anything that I do not want to do," said +Gentian calmly.</p> + +<p>"Then why the little creases on your brow at present?"</p> + +<p>Gentian looked up at him and laughed.</p> + +<p>"You make the creases; I always feel my bristles rising when you come +near. You think you've got to take care of me and guide my steps, and +you want to lock me up in a glass case and keep me there."</p> + +<p>"As a precious ornament," said Thorold; "you ought to be flattered. It +is only treasures that require guarding."</p> + +<p>Then he altered his tone.</p> + +<p>"I don't want to make any more creases. They do not suit you, so I'll +leave you. If Mr. Paget would like to see the Vicarage this afternoon, +my housekeeper will have the keys. I shall be out."</p> + +<p>"Thank you. I daresay we may stroll down there."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe walked down the drive with Thorold.</p> + +<p>"I really don't understand her one bit," she confided to him; "I am +pretty certain she is not in love with this boy, but what she intends +to do is past my comprehension. He wants to be definitely engaged to +her. I have told her it must be one thing or the other. They have been +going on like this for nearly five years. It's my belief she clings to +him as to an old friend, and does not want to lose his friendship. She +said as much to me."</p> + +<p>"He means to settle it to-day," said Thorold. "If she sends him away, +we shall have the responsibility of her altogether. I was wishing +the other day that she were my daughter. Now I don't know. Girls are +difficult to manage."</p> + +<p>"Miss Ward will have the charge of her very soon," said Thorold easily; +"and I dare say she and this young fellow will settle it up together. +He's very fond of her."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave a little sigh.</p> + +<p>After lunch Jim Paget and Gentian set off for the Vicarage. They were +gone nearly three hours, and then Jim returned alone with a very rueful +face.</p> + +<p>"Where is Gentian?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe when she saw him.</p> + +<p>"Oh, she's staying on for the organ practice. Mr. Holt's housekeeper is +giving her tea. I've been dismissed for good and all, and I think I'll +go back to town to-night, if you'll excuse my doing so. There's the +7.30 express."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, and her heart ached for the young +fellow, whose face looked haggard and drawn.</p> + +<p>"I didn't look for it, and that's a fact!" he said. "After all these +years too! I don't believe she knows what she's doing. She's enamoured +with her new surroundings here. I wish—if I may say so—that you had +never discovered her. If she and Waddy had been alone in London +lodgings, she would have turned to me with joy. But she's crazed about +this car of hers, and the little house and the organ. She'll find me +wanting soon. I shan't give up hope. I shall be utterly silent to her, +and perhaps after a time, she'll want to hear of me. I never shall +marry anyone else, I know that."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe tried to comfort him. She ordered the car to take him +to the station, and felt a little vexed with Gentian; but at the same +time her instinct told her that the girl was right, for her heart was +not Jim's. It still remained untouched.</p> + +<p>When Gentian came in, it was to find that Jim had gone. She looked +rather blank when Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave her the news.</p> + +<p>"What an awful hurry he was in! I quite meant to wish him good-bye +properly and to part friends. But perhaps it is best as it is."</p> + +<p>"How did the practice go off?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, it was lovely! The organ is a gem, and I found it quite easy to +play, and the small boys were such dears, and there's quite an old man +who comes with them and sings the deepest bass, and keeps saying: 'We +b'aint in 'armony!'"</p> + +<p>She gave an animated account of her doings, and seemed to forget +Jim. But she was very quiet and pensive at dinner, and went to the +piano afterwards, and played such dreary dirges, that at last Mrs. +Wharnecliffe begged her to stop.</p> + +<p>"It's to mark the burial of my friendship with Jim, and all his hopes +and mine. I really feel as if he has died. It is like it to me. He says +he will never see me again unless I send for him, and I shall never do +that."</p> + +<p>"I hope you do not regret having sent him away."</p> + +<p>"Of course I do!" she said passionately. "You can't give up a friend +without feeling it. You have made me do it. You and he together. I +could not marry him, but lots of girls have men friends, and I call him +selfish to leave me for ever like this."</p> + +<p>"I think you are selfish to accept his love and attentions when you +know you do not mean to make him happy."</p> + +<p>"I am very, very selfish," said Gentian in a humble tone; "I always +have been. But if he was unselfish, he would not wish to force me +against my liking to marry him. Shut up with Jim all my life! Oh, I +couldn't live! I should die. It would be dreadful!"</p> + +<p>Then she slipped her arm through Mrs. Wharnecliffe's with a wistful +smile up at her.</p> + +<p>"Oh, do love me and be kind to me I have forsaken Jim, for you and +Cousin Thorold. Perhaps you would rather I had married him, so as to +get rid of me. I feel sure that Cousin Thorold wanted me to do it. But +I won't burden you with the care of me. When I get Waddy again, I shall +be quite independent, and so busy that I shall have no time to come and +see you."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe kissed her.</p> + +<p>"My dear Gentian," she said, "I am very glad we are not going to +lose you. And I mean to see a great deal of you in the future. I am +old-fashioned enough to believe in love matches, and if you don't love +a man, don't marry him. That is my advice. I have seen disaster again +and again come upon young people, because they married in haste for +expediency."</p> + +<p>So Jim Paget departed out of Gentian's life, and at the end of a few +days, she seemed as if she had forgotten all about him. She was getting +quite absorbed in her small house, and when the day came for her to +move into it, and Miss Ward was expected to arrive, she was as excited +as a child.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe felt a blank in the house when she left her. Gentian +made her presence and personality felt wherever she went.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>About a week after she moved in, Thorold, taking a morning walk past +the house, was confronted by a large white notice board in its front +garden facing the road.</p> + +<p>"Car for hire. Apply within."</p> + +<p>He was standing looking up at it with disapproval stamped upon his +face, when Gentian's voice over the hedge surprised him.</p> + +<p>"Well, and what do you think of it? I am afraid we are too out of the +way for people to see it."</p> + +<p>"I don't like it at all," said Thorold gravely.</p> + +<p>"What a pity! I am proud of it. I have had two fares already. Every +morning I drive into Winderball and go slowly up and down the high +street with my notice 'for hire' staring every one in the face. They +won't let me stand in the station yard, so that is all I can do, but I +took a gentleman to the station yesterday, and the day before I drove +a young couple to see an empty house about eight miles out. That was a +good stroke of business. I shall get on in spite of your disapproval. +I could not stay here if I did not. Don't you want to go and see Mrs. +Wharnecliffe and ask her opinion about my notice board? I will run you +out this afternoon if you like. The journey there and back will be +twenty-two shillings. I cannot take tips, as it is my own car."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid you do not tempt me," said Thorold, smiling in spite of +himself. "Having a motor-bike and a horse, I am independent of cars."</p> + +<p>"Oh, of course, you are what they call complete in yourself. Now, dear +Cousin Thorold—"</p> + +<p>She changed her tone and began to coax:</p> + +<p>"Don't fight me about this board. It means a livelihood for me, and I +do not like cross faces and expostulations. All yesterday Miss Ward was +telling me you would not like it. And I said to her:</p> + +<p>"'Cousin Thorold is a sensible broad-minded man, and very kind at +heart!'</p> + +<p>"Are you not? We'll say no more about it. Now can you tell me if this +is the time to plant roses? I want some badly, and there is a woman +called Mrs. Guddings in the village who has a moss rose, and tells me +she will give me a root of it."</p> + +<p>Thorold succumbed, and the talk veered to roses. The board remained up, +and only two days afterwards it brought Gentian business.</p> + +<p>She was gardening very busily, and Miss Ward was having her afternoon +siesta, when a middle-aged lady appeared at her gate. She seemed in +some haste and agitation.</p> + +<p>"We've had a breakdown at the bottom of the road, and I want to get to +town urgently to see a sister who is ill. We heard from a cottage that +there was a car for hire here. Can you lend it to us? I conclude there +is a driver."</p> + +<p>"I drive my car myself," Gentian said with her greatest dignity. "I +will come with you at once."</p> + +<p>The lady looked at her in a surprised fashion.</p> + +<p>"Can you take a small amount of luggage? I have a niece with me, but we +shall be obliged to send our chauffeur back to the town with the car. +You look very young. I know girls do drive cars in these days, but have +you had much experience?"</p> + +<p>"I have done the journey from town here with perfect ease, and know the +road well. Would you like to see the car?"</p> + +<p>Without waiting for an answer, Gentian led the way to her garage.</p> + +<p>The lady looked at the car critically, but appeared satisfied. She +asked if Gentian could start at once.</p> + +<p>"In five minutes," said Gentian.</p> + +<p>"Then I will go back and relieve my niece's mind. It is her mother who +is ill, and we have missed the train to town."</p> + +<p>Gentian slipped quietly up to her room and got into her motor kit, +being careful not to disturb Miss Ward, for she was doubtful as to what +that lady would say to this expedition, as it was already late in the +afternoon. She left a message with the servant for her, and then drove +her car rapidly down the road.</p> + +<p>She found the two ladies anxiously awaiting her. Their car was in the +ditch, and their chauffeur hard at work trying to get it back into the +road.</p> + +<p>It was only the work of a few minutes to get her passengers and luggage +arranged for the journey, and then Gentian with glowing eyes and +cheeks, and a proud consciousness of her own powers, drove steadily +along the London road.</p> + +<p>The run was made very successfully. Gentian was offered some +refreshment at the London house, but she declined, as she was anxious +to get back. It was a very sultry evening, and there was every +appearance of a storm brewing. She had got well out of London, and +was in a very lonely part of the country when the storm burst full +upon her. Vivid lightning and peals of thunder rather shook her nerve. +It was with a sense of relief that she came to a wayside inn which +possessed a garage, and very soon she and her car were taking advantage +of the shelter.</p> + +<p>The storm was a heavy one, and lasted nearly an hour. Gentian had a +dish of eggs and bacon and a cup of tea in the inn parlour, but there +were some rough-looking farmers who tramped in and out, and she felt +uncomfortable when they persisted in talking to her. One of them asked +her to give him a lift. She refused, as she saw he had been drinking +freely, and she was very glad when she was able to start again, and get +away from them all.</p> + +<p>It seemed as if misfortune dogged her steps. She had got a little more +than half-way, when suddenly one of her tyres burst. It was now just +dark. She was on a road bordered by thick pine woods on each side, and +there was not a house within sight. She got out and with the light of +her lamp commenced to remedy matters. She had a spare tyre and had +been taught how to put one on, but a man had helped her, and she did +not seem to have the strength to screw the jack up, to get the tyre +off the ground. She exerted all her strength, but the wheel refused to +lift. Time went by. She was perilously near tears, and the feeling of +helplessness and inability to remedy matters, made her furious with +herself.</p> + +<p>At last she determined that she must leave her car where it was, and +walk on till she could get help from some one. It was at this juncture +that she saw a light approaching her. The noise told her that it was a +motor-cycle, and she plucked up courage to shout for help. Her surprise +was intense to find, the next moment, that the cycle rider was Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she cried. "I am glad to see you!"</p> + +<p>He got off his cycle at once, asked what was the matter, and very soon +had the burst tyre removed and the new one in its place.</p> + +<p>"I thought something must have happened, as you did not turn up, so I +came to meet you," he said simply.</p> + +<p>There was no word of reproach or "I told you so," and Gentian felt +subdued and very grateful. She started her car again, and he drove by +her side, till she reached the Vicarage, then he helped her to put her +car by, wished her good night, and disappeared, but Gentian felt that +she had not heard the last of this late run to town.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward with an anxious troubled face met her at the door. Her +reproaches and remonstrances continued during Gentian's late supper. +She got impatient at last.</p> + +<p>"I am tired, Waddy. You should never kick a person when she's down. +Good night."</p> + +<p>And abruptly she left her and went to bed.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_6">CHAPTER VI</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A FRESH PROPOSITION</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was a very quiet Gentian who came into the small drawing-room the +next afternoon, when she was told by Miss Ward that Thorold had called +and wished to see her. She shook hands with him in silence, and seated +herself on the low cushioned window seat.</p> + +<p>"I really meant to have asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe to speak to you about +this," said Thorold coming to the point at once; "but I rather believe +in doing disagreeable things oneself. I suppose you see for yourself +how impossible it is for you to be a public chauffeur."</p> + +<p>"I am sure," said Gentian pathetically, "I have had enough +expostulation and scolding and threatening from Miss Ward, but I am +ready to have it over again. Please get it over as quickly as you can."</p> + +<p>"Supposing I had not been able to meet you, what would you have done?" +asked Thorold rather brusquely.</p> + +<p>"I should have waited till some one came by."</p> + +<p>"And who would that have been? Just after we started do you remember a +cart of drunken men who almost overtook us?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian unguardedly; "I had already seen them at the inn."</p> + +<p>"Would you have liked their help?"</p> + +<p>"I should not have asked for it."</p> + +<p>"But they would have offered it, of course."</p> + +<p>"Well, I can look after myself. Girls have to do so nowadays."</p> + +<p>"They never will if I have anything to do with them." Thorold spoke +sharply, and very determinedly. "Yesterday you were mercifully +kept from harm, but did not your experience show you that you were +absolutely unfitted to run a car as a man could?"</p> + +<p>"No," flashed forth Gentian; "it didn't. Difficulties make me long to +overcome them. I won't be crushed by them. I think the jack must have +been rusty. I shall practice using it till I can do it quite easily."</p> + +<p>"It must be stopped, Gentian. We will find something else for you to +do. You cannot run a car for the benefit of the public."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked out of the window. When she turned round tears were +trembling on the tips of her eyelashes.</p> + +<p>"You have no right to dictate to me," she said, trying to maintain her +dignity.</p> + +<p>"Cheer up," Thorold said. "I don't want to take your car from you. But +you must promise me that you'll never take any long journey so late in +the day. And I'll see if we can't find something better for you to do."</p> + +<p>"If your car is for hire, you can't dictate to people the time you go."</p> + +<p>"Well, we'll trust you won't be asked to go off to London so late in +the day again. And if it did happen that you were asked to take a night +journey, you must absolutely refuse."</p> + +<p>Gentian said nothing.</p> + +<p>"I'm in dead earnest," Thorold said, looking at her.</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Gentian passionately, "I haven't a friend in the world +except Waddy. Jim has left me, and you're determined to refuse me my +liberty and shut me up here, and take away from me the only hope of +earning my living and being independent."</p> + +<p>"Oh no. I will help you to be independent if I can. We won't quarrel. +It's only because I want you to be shielded from unpleasantness and +harm that I object to this car business. Forgive me, and let us part +friends."</p> + +<p>He smiled upon her, and when Thorold smiled he was irresistible.</p> + +<p>Gentian put her hand into his.</p> + +<p>"Interfering with the object of doing others good, is your besetting +sin, I think, Cousin Thorold. Good-bye. I was very glad to see you last +night. Those woods on each side of me frightened me. I promise you I +won't do night journeys again. I don't like them."</p> + +<p>She had recovered her spirits, but the next morning when she found that +Thorold had quietly removed her notice board she was ruffled again.</p> + +<p>"Was there ever a more arbitrary, meddlesome, managing man than Cousin +Thorold!" she said to Miss Ward.</p> + +<p>"I think he is one of the kindest, truest friends that any girl could +wish to have," was Miss Ward's fervent response.</p> + +<p>And Gentian, seeing she would get no sympathy from her, said no more.</p> + +<p>She took her car into Winderball nearly every day, and it was +astonishing how many fares she got.</p> + +<p>About a week later, she went out as usual one morning and did not +return till six o'clock.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward asked her where she had been.</p> + +<p>"Out into the country a long way, and they made me take them a long +round. They were looking at houses. Most of my good fares are people +house-hunting."</p> + +<p>"Did you have any lunch?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, we stopped at an inn."</p> + +<p>She said no more, but all the evening was strangely silent and +preoccupied. The next morning she did not take her car out, but told +Miss Ward she was going to practise in the church. She had found a lame +boy who was always ready to blow for her, when her usual blower was at +school.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe appeared about twelve o'clock, and hearing the sound +of the organ as she passed the church, stopped her car and went in.</p> + +<p>She could tell at once from Gentian's playing that all was not well +with her. But she did not interrupt her, she took a back seat in the +little church and waited.</p> + +<p>The music ceased at last. Gentian dismissed the lame boy; she had no +idea that anyone was in the church but herself, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe +felt a little uncomfortable when she saw her leave her organ stool and, +slipping into one of the front seats, kneel down and bury her face in +her hands.</p> + +<p>When Gentian rose at last, the church was empty; but she found Mrs. +Wharnecliffe walking up and down the churchyard.</p> + +<p>They greeted each other affectionately; then Gentian turned rather +eagerly to her.</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I think I'm going to make you happy. Certainly +Cousin Thorold will be, but my future is very dark. I'm giving up my +car. I shall never use it for the public, and I shan't be able to +afford the oil for it, so I suppose I shall have to sell it."</p> + +<p>"Since when have you decided this, dear?" Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked +gently.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I've lost all zest for it, for some days. And yesterday I said +to myself 'never again.' I was driving four very common men about the +country. And I didn't like them at all. And it isn't pleasant to be a +girl sometimes, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. And I'd rather be a road-mender on +the road, than everybody's and anybody's chauffeur."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe was much astonished, but could not hide her approval, +and Gentian's eyes were keen and far-seeing.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" she said, throwing out her hands in her foreign gesture of +despair. "I shall have no sympathy from anyone. I must learn to go my +way through life without it. You are pleased when I am sad—you are sad +when I am pleased."</p> + +<p>"My dear child, I cannot help feeling pleased when you show such +wisdom. I wish you would tell me a little more. I am afraid you have +experienced some unpleasantness. It was what we feared would happen. +But I am sorry, very sorry for you."</p> + +<p>"It is past."</p> + +<p>Gentian drew herself up to her full height. There was pride and a +little aloofness in her voice.</p> + +<p>"I will not talk about it, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. But I am hardly happy +to-day. I cannot be—I wish—"</p> + +<p>Here her tone became impassioned and vicious.</p> + +<p>"I wish I was an old hag with a bald head and hairs about my chin, and +a nutcracker mouth, and a hump on my back, and then I would drive my +car anywhere, everywhere, by day, and by night, and enjoy myself!"</p> + +<p>"Oh Gentian, what a child you are!"</p> + +<p>Gentian joined Mrs. Wharnecliffe in her laughter.</p> + +<p>"I feel better now. Come and see Waddy. I have been as cross as two +sticks to her all the morning. And I'll leave you to tell her of my +decision, and she and you will sing a song of thanksgiving together, +while I go for a solitary walk."</p> + +<p>"No, no, wait! I think I have some good news for you. I came along to +tell it to you. It has come at the right time."</p> + +<p>Gentian smiled.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure it's another job you have found me. Let me guess. Is it to +teach in the infants' school?"</p> + +<p>"No. Yesterday I was visiting some old friends of mine who live about +five miles away. They are sisters, two elderly women. One is very +strong—has never been ill in her life she says, and she still rides and +hunts. The other is delicate, and lives too much indoors. Her doctor +wants her to have air, and has suggested her having some motor-drives. +She used to have a carriage, but was upset one day by a drunken +coachman, and has never taken a drive since. She sold the carriage and +horses and dismissed her coachman. I got her to drive with me the other +day in my car, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. I suggested your taking +her for regular drives every day, and she is delighted at the thought +of it. She may eventually buy a car of her own, but at present she +would like to consider yours at her disposal whenever she wants it. And +she will give you anything you like to ask. She understands that if you +keep your car for her, you will be unable to use it for anyone else."</p> + +<p>Gentian's face was a study. The brilliant colour came back to her +cheeks and the light to her eyes. She seemed as if she could not speak +for a few minutes; then her eyes grew misty and tears trembled on the +edges of her eyelashes.</p> + +<p>"And so while I was praying," she said in a whisper, "the answer was +coming along the road to meet me. Mrs. Wharnecliffe, if only you +weren't an English woman I would throw my arms round your neck and +hug you! Do consider it done, will you. How lucky I am to have such a +friend! Am I to start to-morrow? Will she want me in the morning or the +afternoon, or both?"</p> + +<p>"Not quite so fast. They would like to see you and talk it over. So I +said I would bring you to-morrow, or rather that you would bring me in +your car, so that they could see it."</p> + +<p>"Oh, do go and tell Waddy. She will be so glad!"</p> + +<p>But Gentian did not go in with Mrs. Wharnecliffe. She sped up the road +to a certain small pine wood which she had discovered, and which served +her as a delightful retreat when she wanted to be alone and think.</p> + +<p>She did not come away from it for a full hour. And then on the way home +she met Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said; "have you had a good day at your trade?"</p> + +<p>"Have you not met Mrs. Wharnecliffe?"</p> + +<p>"No, I have been over the hill to one of my tenant farmers. Has she +been in these parts to-day?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, indeed she has."</p> + +<p>Gentian leant against a gate in the hedge, and looked up at Thorold +with a reflective light in her blue eyes.</p> + +<p>"I'm considering," she said, with a mischievous curl to her lips, +"whether I shall keep back part of the truth from you. I think I will. +You are not my Father Confessor. I am thinking of being a kind of +private chauffeur to an invalid lady, a friend of Mrs. Wharnecliffe."</p> + +<p>"Capital!"</p> + +<p>"If she makes it worth my while, it will be less fatiguing than +ordinary hire work."</p> + +<p>Thorold's face, like Mrs. Wharnecliffe's, showed relief and +satisfaction.</p> + +<p>Gentian frowned.</p> + +<p>"So now when you pass me in the road, you needn't screw up your eyes +to see whom I'm driving, and you needn't have your motor-cycle at hand +ready to dash out and meet me if I am rather late in getting home. In +fact you will be able to dismiss me entirely from your thoughts and +observation. And forget that I exist."</p> + +<p>"I wonder if I shall," said Thorold in rather a drawling voice.</p> + +<p>"I shall be too busy to give you a thought," said Gentian with a little +snap in her tone.</p> + +<p>And then Thorold laughed.</p> + +<p>"I was just going to ask you to come to a tea-party at my house the day +after to-morrow. I have some farmers' wives coming—six of them—we're +going to talk over the dairy stall at the flower-show in Winderball +next month, and I want some one to pour out tea for them. I thought +perhaps Miss Ward would come too—"</p> + +<p>In a moment Gentian's face cleared.</p> + +<p>"I shall love to come," she said enthusiastically; "I adore pouring out +tea! And farmers' wives are great fun, I'm sure!"</p> + +<p>"They will be very serious, for it's a committee meeting, and if you've +had no experience of them, you will be astonished at the gravity of the +situation."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I won't let them be grave. I can always make people laugh if I +want to. It's a pity you're so grave, Cousin Thorold. Perhaps when +you realize that the burden and cares of my livelihood are no more +necessary, you will take a brighter view of things."</p> + +<p>"It's a wonderful thing—the different point of view that people take. +Now Mrs. Wharnecliffe always complains that I am frivolous!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I know what she means. You never seem in earnest, or care about +anything very much. That's why you annoy me so. You always seem +laughing at me up your sleeve!"</p> + +<p>"Then I do know how to laugh sometimes?"</p> + +<p>Gentian made an impatient movement, as if she were about to walk on, +then she turned towards him again.</p> + +<p>"You're a solid bit of rock, and I'm just a bubble! That's what I feel +when I talk to you. And I feel more bubbly than ever now that I have a +fresh start in front of me. Ah! I forgot! I can make no engagement for +the day after to-morrow. My old lady may want me—"</p> + +<p>"She'll be enjoying tea under her mulberry tree at the time I want you—"</p> + +<p>"Well, don't be surprised if I fail to turn up. She may be going to +a tea-party. Perhaps she may come to yours. But she isn't a farmer's +wife."</p> + +<p>"I have one lady coming to me. She is a Miss Horatia Buchan."</p> + +<p>"Then she can pour out tea if I don't turn up. Good-bye."</p> + +<p>She nodded to him and walked on.</p> + +<p>Thorold went on his way, but he muttered to himself:</p> + +<p>"Now I wonder what has upset the child and caused this revolution. Wild +horses would not have dragged her to this old lady a week ago!"</p> + +<p>Gentian went straight to her garage and pulled out her car. For half an +hour she cleaned and oiled it, then she walked into the house and had +her lunch.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward was of course beaming.</p> + +<p>"It seems the very thing for you, dear. How kind Mrs. Wharnecliffe is! +I feel I shall not be anxious now about you, for I shall know that you +are in good company."</p> + +<p>"I'm going to run over and see Sir Gilbert after lunch," said Gentian; +"would you like to come? It's a pretty drive—"</p> + +<p>"No thank you. I'm not fond of motoring, as you know."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was not the first time Gentian had been to see the blind man. She +and he had struck up a great friendship. And he was pretty certain to +see her if she was in any difficulty or trouble. But to-day she arrived +over in the best of spirits. It was a very warm afternoon and she found +him on the lawn under an old cedar.</p> + +<p>His secretary was reading to him, but he closed the book when he saw +Gentian and slipped away, for he knew the two liked to be together for +a tête-à-tête talk.</p> + +<p>"Sir Gilbert, it is true, quite true what you told me the other day. +I put it to the test. You said if we took a right step, we should +not suffer for it, that God always gave better than we could give +ourselves. I decided this morning early that I would be a public +chauffeur no longer. I think I have been driven to it. But it cost me +a lot to give it up, only I knew it was the right step, and I was in +such trouble about it that I went into church to comfort myself with +the organ. And you know, for you play yourself, how the organ makes you +think of Paradise, and of God, so I left the organ and got down on my +knees and prayed that God would give me something better than what I +was giving up. And the answer came directly. Mrs. Wharnecliffe came up +and told me an old lady wanted the monopoly of my car, and I was to be +her chauffeur. Isn't it splendid! I'm going to see her to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert smiled.</p> + +<p>"It's good news for all your friends," he said; "none of us have liked +your occupation."</p> + +<p>"No—and it shows how wicked I am at heart, for the thought of Cousin +Thorold's satisfaction, and of Mrs. Wharnecliffe's relief, and Waddy's +thankfulness, makes me just long to go back to it. They've all proved +so annoyingly right in their fears and surmises."</p> + +<p>"You feel that the young ought to prove more wise in their judgments +than the old? Well, we all have done that in our time, and as we grow +older our heads are bowed lower down. Age teaches humility."</p> + +<p>"I feel humbled to the dust, but I'm very grateful for my answered +prayer. And it makes me want more than ever to be good, really good +like you. Do you think I shall ever be so? Don't say you aren't good."</p> + +<p>"None of us are really good, my child. But you will learn to love more, +and then your service will be easier."</p> + +<p>Gentian's face was very sweet and grave. She clasped her hands round +her old friend's arm and looked up into his face very earnestly.</p> + +<p>"I have felt uncomfortable for weeks. I knew that I was doing every day +what you all disapproved of! Now to-morrow I am making a fresh start. +And I will learn to love more, and trust more. Now will you play to me?"</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert gladly acquiesced; he went to his organ and Gentian settled +herself in a comfortable chair to listen.</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert had said to Mrs. Wharnecliffe:</p> + +<p>"Your little friend has a dual nature: she is by turns a wayward, gay +little soul, and a very sweet and earnest aspirant after holy things."</p> + +<p>And certainly now, Gentian, with her wistful eyes and rapt grave face, +was very different from the mischievous laughing girl which most +outsiders knew and admired.</p> + +<p>When the music ceased Gentian rose to go.</p> + +<p>"One day I shall compose," she said slowly and thoughtfully; "and my +first composition will be a soul's flight to Paradise. We often get to +the gates before we die. We go up like the skylark and then we drop as +swiftly as he does to earth again. I get so close to the gates when you +play to me! And when you stop, I drop like a stone to the ground."</p> + +<p>"Then my music is of no use to you," Sir Gilbert said a little sadly.</p> + +<p>"But yes, it is," she said, seizing his hand and keeping it between +both of hers. "We can't live above the earth always; but it makes me +long and long for the Unseen Land. And I am praying and trying to live +as I should, till I reach it."</p> + +<p>"May God bless you, my child," was the blind man's quick response.</p> + +<p>And then Gentian bent her head and pressed her lips to his wrinkled +hand.</p> + +<p>"I have come to you in my bad moments," she said; "and to-day I thought +I must give you my good news. Au revoir."</p> + +<p>She left him and arrived home with a happy, smiling face.</p> + +<p>"Waddy, you did a good thing when you came down here on my account. I +think we're going to have a rattling good time, don't you?"</p> + +<p>Miss Ward smiled.</p> + +<p>"Well, yes, my dear, we have certainly fallen on our feet. There are +very few men so generous and kind as your cousin has been to us."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Cousin Thorold. I wasn't thinking of him. He's a very good buffer, +as he said, and he's useful at times, but there are other friends round +about us, and I hope I shall make fresh friends to-morrow. I'm longing +to see my new employer."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_7">CHAPTER VII</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A PRIVATE CHAUFFEUR</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"MRS. WHARNECLIFFE and Miss Brendon," announced an elderly maidservant, +opening the door of the big drawing-room at the Mount.</p> + +<p>The two occupants of the room looked at Gentian rather critically as +she approached them. She wore her close-fitting motor-cap, and a long +white linen coat fell down to her slim ankles. She might have been a +stripling of a boy, so neat, and taut, and severe was her attire.</p> + +<p>The eldest Miss Buchan spoke to her first, and Gentian's expressive +face kindled under her friendly look. Miss Anne Buchan was a handsome +old woman with dark eyes and white hair, and an extreme air of +fragility. She looked like some hothouse flower that had never been +exposed to any fresh breezes or pure air. She was slight in build and +rather tall, and stooped as she walked. Miss Horatia was younger, with +a rugged tanned face and big blue eyes, and a humorous mouth. She was +standing in the window mending a hunting crop and whistling as she did +so. Whilst Miss Anne was clothed in rich satin gown with priceless +lace about her neck, Miss Horatia was in a white shirt and rough tweed +skirt, with two big pockets, which held contents that schoolboys would +have envied.</p> + +<p>"And so this is my lady chauffeur," said Miss Anne pleasantly, as she +shook hands with Gentian. "You seem very young for the post, but youth +is to the fore now. It is we old people who are needed no longer."</p> + +<p>"Not to give us advice, and remind us of the good old days which have +gone for ever?" said Gentian with her mischievous smile.</p> + +<p>"Ah, I wonder if you will take advice from anyone!" Miss Anne responded.</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia looked sharply up from her employment.</p> + +<p>"How d'ye do?" she said brusquely. "What's your name?"</p> + +<p>"Gentian Brendon."</p> + +<p>"Oh, these new-fangled names; who chose that for you?"</p> + +<p>"Do you mean Gentian? My mother. When I was a baby. I had eyes that +reminded her of the flower."</p> + +<p>"And they're the same now," said gentle Miss Anne. "Sit down, child. +Now, Lallie, how are you?"</p> + +<p>For the next few minutes Gentian sat and listened to the conversation +which followed, and in which she felt she had no part. Miss Horatia +said very little; occasionally she put in a word. Presently she turned +to Gentian and said suddenly:</p> + +<p>"Do you realize that you and I are representatives of two centuries?"</p> + +<p>"But you are not very old?"</p> + +<p>"I am old in my habits, in my love for God's creatures instead of +men's. Don't expect me to set foot in your snorting bit of machinery. +When my horse and I part company, my life will be done. And when I'm +too old to sit in a saddle, I shall go straight to bed and stop there—"</p> + +<p>"I should like to ride," said Gentian a little wistfully; "but cars are +cheaper than horses, and swifter."</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia said no more. Mrs. Wharnecliffe did not make a long stay. +Miss Anne discussed everything with Gentian. She told her she would +like her to come every afternoon and take her out, Sundays excepted, +and the salary she mentioned more than satisfied Gentian. She came away +in the highest spirits and thanked Mrs. Wharnecliffe very warmly for +having obtained the post for her.</p> + +<p>"I shall be enjoying myself hugely every afternoon, and earning my +living, and be doing quite the proper thing. Nobody, not even Cousin +Thorold, can say it is not nice for me to be driving an old lady out +every day! Why!—Now I come to think of it, Cousin Thorold said he +expected a Miss Horatia Buchan to a tea-party at his house to-morrow. +Can it be the same? She's very sporting looking; not at all his style."</p> + +<p>"Horatia and Thorold have been friends for a long time," said Mrs. +Wharnecliffe. "Once upon a time I hoped they would marry."</p> + +<p>"Oh, but they'd never suit each other," said Gentian in a startled +tone. "They're both so managing and masterful, and she must be years +older than he is."</p> + +<p>"They're just the same age, I believe—"</p> + +<p>"Miss Horatia looks as if she could be a great-grandmother—"</p> + +<p>"When you come to her age, you won't feel so ancient as that."</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed, and said no more.</p> + +<p>She drove Miss Anne out the next afternoon from two to four, but came +home to Miss Ward with a very doleful face.</p> + +<p>"She won't let me go faster than a horse. Says she likes quiet motion, +so that she can enjoy the air without being blown about. Isn't it a +humiliation and degradation for my dear Mousie! We got no distance, and +when I left her, I scorched along the road for all I was worth. Mousie +and I were panting to do it. It's too horrible for words! I shall never +have the patience to keep the job. Aren't you sorry for me, Waddy? Say +you are!"</p> + +<p>"No, I won't, but you can put on speed now, and change your dress, +for we are going to Mr. Holt's to tea. I can't think why the present +generation want such rapid motion. It's very bad for their brains!"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Thorold's tea-party and meeting were a great success. Miss Horatia was +there, and looked on at Gentian tea-making with an amused eye.</p> + +<p>"What do you think of that child?" she asked Thorold bluntly. "Does she +think our old world, revolves on its axis entirely and wholly for her?"</p> + +<p>"She's very young," said Thorold apologetically. "But life will teach +her what it has taught us."</p> + +<p>"We don't all learn the same lessons. Some can't be taught, and some +won't be. I don't think I'm at all an apt learner. But when I was her +age, I was more malleable, I fancy—"</p> + +<p>Thorold shook his head at her.</p> + +<p>"Never!" he said, and then he went off to talk to some one else.</p> + +<p>Gentian chattered away to all the farmers' wives as if she had known +them all her life. When the meeting was over, and they were dispersing, +one of them, a Mrs. Homer, said to Gentian pleasantly:</p> + +<p>"Come along one afternoon, miss, and have a cup of tea with me. I've +always held up for you, though there be many which say you be too +light-fingered on the organ for 'em on Sundays. There be almost a +merriment in your pieces afore and after church; they say it be not +seemly in church—"</p> + +<p>"Don't you feel happy on Sundays? I always do," returned Gentian. "Why +shouldn't we be bright and cheerful in church?"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Crake—but I'll allow she's had a chapel bringin' up—she's only +conformed to church of late—she said las' Sunday her girl Ada passed +the remark that 'twould be easy to dance to your pieces."</p> + +<p>"What a dreadful thing to say!" said Gentian with sparkling eyes. "I'll +give you the creeps next Sunday if I can—a proper solemn dirge. Thank +you for asking me to tea. I shall love to come."</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia, was the last one to leave, and then Thorold walked home +with Miss Ward and Gentian.</p> + +<p>"I haven't had time to hear how you like this last venture of yours," +he said.</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I shan't give myself away. I have only had one day. It is +oppressively slow, but when I think of how many people I have pleased +by taking the job, I feel I shan't live in vain! Miss Anne is an old +dear. I love old ladies. I am so tired—so disgusted—so out of friends +with men."</p> + +<p>"Are we such a bad lot?" asked Thorold quietly.</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him with a pretty shake of her head.</p> + +<p>"I don't know about you. I'm in and out of friends with you so often! +Waddy is always singing your praises, so of course I do the opposite. +If you took me more seriously, I would like you better. Sir Gilbert is +the only man about here who speaks naturally and earnestly to me—"</p> + +<p>"My dear Gentian, your tongue runs away with you—" Miss Ward's tone was +shocked.</p> + +<p>"Oh Waddy, I never choose my words with Cousin Thorold. And I'm only +speaking the truth."</p> + +<p>They had reached the Cottage. Miss Ward went indoors, but Gentian +lingered at the gate with Thorold.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry I don't take you seriously," Thorold said; "we'll have some +grave talks whenever you like."</p> + +<p>"Then we'll have one now," said Gentian impetuously; "come to the +bottom of the garden and sit on the seat with me, where I watch the sun +setting."</p> + +<p>Thorold followed her without a word. He sat down on one end of the +seat, she took the other.</p> + +<p>She was looking distractingly pretty, in a white embroidered linen +gown, and a shady white hat with a wreath of periwinkles round it which +matched the colour of her eyes. Now she leant forward, elbow on knees, +and her chin in the palm of her hand.</p> + +<p>"I want to do something with my life," she said with earnest solemnity. +"I am doing absolutely nothing now. I have been stuck down in this +dear little corner of England, and all of you are drawing fences round +me to keep me in. They are getting nearer and nearer, and my space is +getting smaller and smaller. Waddy and you and Mrs. Wharnecliffe think +I ought to be quite happy in my little cottage, watering the garden, +and helping Waddy to housekeep and then driving out an old lady at a +snail's pace every day. You say,—</p> + +<p>"'Now she's protected—now she's safe!'</p> + +<p>"And then you ask me out to tea to keep me from feeling dull, and Waddy +says what a pleasant thing it is to have my organ and choir practice +as a recreation. And you quite expect me to go on living like this for +years! It's just stagnation of soul and body, that's what it is. And +God in heaven looks down, and wonders when I'm going to begin to live!"</p> + +<p>Thorold was not shocked at this outburst. He was surprised, but he +concealed that, and said in his slow voice:</p> + +<p>"And what is your idea of life? You have mentioned God Almighty's name, +and I know you have not used it in mockery. Is it your idea to carry +out His will or your own?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know, but He has made me, I do believe, for something +better than this. What a big world it is! And how much there is to +do. Sir Gilbert talks to me about Heaven's purposes, and the earth's +failures. I have brains, and strength, and leisure, and I can't sit +about in armchairs and just be comfortable—I'm too young for it. And I +have an uncomfortable feeling that I'm living on Waddy's savings. She +always tells me there's plenty of money for our needs. But where does +it come from? I don't earn enough to keep the house going. Miss Anne is +very generous, and I shall be able to support myself on what she gives +me, but I shan't be able to save much. And my life is too easy, and +empty, and narrow. There now! That's the gist of the matter! I shall +break away soon—I must. It's the Bubble's efforts to soar, before it +bursts!"</p> + +<p>"But you have had one effort to break away, haven't you? And it wasn't +altogether a success."</p> + +<p>"I knew that would come. I have failed. I own it. It is your nasty +English people that have made me fail. But there are other vocations +besides driving motors."</p> + +<p>"I fear you are tired of it by now."</p> + +<p>Laughter came into her eyes.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm an awful creature, I know I am. Two days ago I was enchanted +with this fresh job. I am cross to-day because I must make my car's +speed match a horse's. But, all the same, deep down, I know my soul is +meant to do something bigger. And I want to find out the biggest and +best thing to do, and then DO it!"</p> + +<p>"There are different estimates of size, I fancy," said Thorold. "We +are like the children who think an orange in their hand much bigger +than the brightest planet in the heavens. Our big things are so +infinitesimal in God's eyes, and His big things are paltry and small in +our estimation."</p> + +<p>"That doesn't comfort or guide me in the least," said Gentian, looking +at him thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"If you want to fulfil God's purpose for you, it will be shown you. +Pray, and the answer will come."</p> + +<p>Gentian drew in a long breath.</p> + +<p>"I never thought that you were quite so good, Cousin Thorold," she +said in a light and airy voice. "Thank you so much for having taken me +seriously for once. I've had enough—"</p> + +<p>He smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"I'll say no more then—"</p> + +<p>He got up from the seat. Gentian accompanied him as far as the gate.</p> + +<p>"I have one of my young brothers coming home on leave," Thorold said +as he wished her good-bye. "He's in the navy; he comes to me next +Thursday. I think you'll like him. Godwin is a sunny-hearted youngster."</p> + +<p>Gentian rounded her lips into a small ball.</p> + +<p>"Boys are so boring," she said; "they always think such a lot of +themselves."</p> + +<p>"I have known girls who do the same," said Thorold, and with this +parting shot, he left her.</p> + +<p>Gentian went indoors to Miss Ward.</p> + +<p>"Do you know I was within an ace of liking Cousin Thorold," she said; +"and then he lapsed into his annoying way of talking, and I feel as if +I never want to see him again!"</p> + +<p>"My dear Gentian, you are never of the same mind about anything or +anybody for two minutes together. I often wonder why you put up with me +as you do."</p> + +<p>"Waddy dear, you knew and loved my little mother. I have no one in the +wide world left to love me but you, and I think you do just a little—"</p> + +<p>Miss Ward looked at her affectionately, but she was not a demonstrative +woman, and it wasn't till Gentian stole up softly to her and put her +arms round her neck, looking into her eyes with such wistful longing, +that she gave her the warm kiss she was expecting.</p> + +<p>"Plenty of people will come along and love you, child, if you let them. +I am getting an old woman, and my life will soon be over, but yours is +all in front of you—and you'll never have to complain of being unloved, +I am sure!"</p> + +<p>"Do I think a lot of myself, Waddy?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I think you do."</p> + +<p>Gentian hugged her.</p> + +<p>"You are a dear old truth-teller. You see, I really have no one to +think about but myself. And it is astonishing how fond all people are +of themselves. I believe you are, but you don't show it. Of course I +have to think about myself, because my future is in my own hands, I +suppose. I can make or mar it, can't I? And I want to get the best out +of life. I must—I will. And it's my will that must be kept up to the +mark—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'The souls of women are so small<br> + That some believe they've none at all.<br> + Or if they have, like cripples still,<br> + They've but one faculty, the WILL!'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Some nasty man wrote that. Oh, Waddy dear, you're quite right. I'm one +thing one day, and another the next. My small soul is like a bag of +scraps, crammed full of rubbish, bits of good material mixed with the +bad, and never properly sorted out. Now I'm going to water the garden. +Good-bye."</p> + +<p>She flashed out of the room and into the garden.</p> + +<p>Miss Ward heard her breaking into song as she wielded her watering-pot, +and she sighed heavily.</p> + +<p>"I wish I did not love her so much," she murmured; "she needs a firmer +hand, and some one to teach her discipline and self-control."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was not very long before Gentian met young Godwin Holt. He arrived +like a fresh sea-breeze, and made friends at once with Miss Ward and +Gentian. He was a fair, curly-haired young lieutenant, with fresh +complexion and mischievous blue eyes. He was very susceptible to all +women's influences, and fell headlong in love with Gentian at first +sight.</p> + +<p>She treated him as if he were a schoolboy on holiday. Thorold watched +their intimacy with quiet amusement.</p> + +<p>One morning Godwin arrived at the Cottage at breakfast time.</p> + +<p>"Look here," he said breathlessly; "can you 'phone to your old lady, +Miss Brendon, to spare you to-day? We'll take a car—not yours—because +it's my affair, and go down to the New Forest. You've never been there? +Thought not. We'll lunch at one of the inns in the Forest. I'm going to +drag Thor away from his books and writing. Miss Ward, you'll come too. +Must have an even number. It's a shame to let this topping weather go +by without doing something. I see so little green at sea that I revel +in forests. And you ought to know what England produces in that way!"</p> + +<p>"I can't spring it on Miss Buchan so late in the day," said Gentian, +her eyes sparkling at the thought of such an outing. "Won't to-morrow +do? I'm rather afraid she won't like it."</p> + +<p>"You can easily get a substitute to take your place. I'll find one for +you in an hour—"</p> + +<p>"I'll try," said Gentian, "but we've no 'phone—"</p> + +<p>"Thor has. Come on over."</p> + +<p>He dragged her off with him.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The 'phone was in Thorold's study.</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him pleadingly.</p> + +<p>"Don't tell me I'm a shirker. I've driven her for ten days now at a +snail's pace. And she might give me one day off."</p> + +<p>"You'd better ask for Miss Horatia. The old lady will never use the +'phone."</p> + +<p>So Miss Horatia was called up.</p> + +<p>She received Gentian's suggestion with great coldness.</p> + +<p>"My sister does not like to be deprived of her afternoon drive, and +I know she won't hear of a substitute. That is out of the question. +She is far too nervous of cars at present to have a strange driver. +Besides, she has arranged to go and see an old friend of hers this +afternoon."</p> + +<p>"Could I have to-morrow off then?"</p> + +<p>"I will see—"</p> + +<p>"Oh, chuck them," cried Godwin. "You aren't a slavey."</p> + +<p>"I'm earning my daily bread," said Gentian in a dignified tone; "and +I'm in her employ."</p> + +<p>They waited rather impatiently. Miss Horatia returned in about ten +minutes' time.</p> + +<p>"My sister has agreed to forgo her drive to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"A thousand thanks. I will be round at the usual time this afternoon."</p> + +<p>"Won't to-morrow do as well?" asked Thorold, looking at his young +brother's disappointed face.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I hate to-morrows—always have—"</p> + +<p>"So have I," said Gentian, "but we'll make the best of it. I shall love +to see the New Forest. But do let us take my car, and let me drive. +That will be half the fun."</p> + +<p>"Do you want me to hire you?" asked Godwin. "For I mean to stand the +treat."</p> + +<p>"You can pay for the oil we use, if you like, nothing more."</p> + +<p>Godwin frowned.</p> + +<p>"I hate the independence of girls nowadays. You ought not to know how +to drive!"</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed.</p> + +<p>"That is the style of the old-fashioned English gentlemen. Of course +you take after your brother!"</p> + +<p>"No man, if he's a decent sort, likes to see girls roughing it."</p> + +<p>"You would like me in a white muslin gown lying back amongst the +cushions of the car sighing plaintively: 'Please not quite so fast, +driver, the wind is too strong upon my face, the motion shakes me—' +That's what my old lady says to me, and I long to scorch for all I'm +worth."</p> + +<p>"What time shall we start?" said Godwin, wisely turning the subject. "I +vote for eight o'clock. It will be a long run."</p> + +<p>"I think," said Thorold slowly, looking at Gentian as he spoke, "that +we'll have our own car, Godwin. It will give Gentian a rest. She shall +lie back on comfortable cushions for once in her life, and then we +shan't see those tired lines about her eyes that so often come there."</p> + +<p>"You are very rude, Cousin Thorold."</p> + +<p>"Miss Brendon couldn't look fitter than she does, but all the same, +I'm with you, Thor. It will be my treat and my car, and I'll choose a +capable driver."</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed. Her laughter had such an infectious and delightful +ripple in it, that both brothers smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"As I'm to be your guest," she said, "I have nothing to say but a +very grateful 'thank you.' And, if we rumbled along in a donkey-cart, +I should enjoy myself. I love a jaunt of any sort, it reminds me of +Italy. Waddy and I are too poor to take many in England."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_8">CHAPTER VIII</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE DAY IN THE NEW FOREST</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE day for the New Forest dawned very brightly. Gentian was radiantly +happy, and she and Godwin were like two children in their whole-hearted +enjoyment of every hour. There was no lack of conversation during the +run. She and Godwin chattered away together, Thorold occasionally +joining in. Miss Ward for the most part took her pleasure in silence.</p> + +<p>It was a perfect day for seeing the Forest. A gentle breeze kept the +air cool. The green glades under the magnificent old oaks and beeches +seemed like an enchanted country to Gentian. They had lunch at a +picturesque old inn, and then she and Godwin wandered off to find the +tree under which William Rufus was killed.</p> + +<p>"I wish I was a gipsy," sighed Gentian; "I am sure a nomad wandering +life would suit me. Women ought not to have such a dull time as they +do. Look at you, now! You go over the seas and round the world and see +a little of everything; and I am told I ought to be content to stay in +my small corner for life."</p> + +<p>"You'd long to find a corner to stick in if you were a sailor. I'm +looking forward to a snug little home of my own one day."</p> + +<p>"With a wife shut up in it all the year round," said Gentian, mischief +in her eyes. "I know what a sailor's wife is. I knew two in Italy. One +had come out there by doctor's orders. She said the loneliness of her +home when her husband was at sea was more than she could stand."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Godwin, "I would have my wife meet me at different ports. +I'd keep her lively. You bet I would. Don't disparage sailors, Miss +Brendon. You'll send me into the blues if you do—"</p> + +<p>They were sitting down in the bracken at the foot of an old oak. +Gentian leant her back against the gnarled trunk and looked up dreamily +into the green foliage above.</p> + +<p>"A bird must be so happy," she observed. "It has command of the earth +and air, and no one can prevent it soaring away from disagreeables when +it chooses."</p> + +<p>"You ought to have no disagreeables in your life," said Godwin. "You +want a husband to shoulder all difficulties, and keep you safe and +happy."</p> + +<p>"I don't think men are fond of shouldering women's burdens," said +Gentian reflectively; "when I go about in the village, and see how all +the strain and work falls on the poor wife, who is on her feet from +early morning to late at night, mending and making and cooking for her +lord and master, as well as her children, it makes me feel that the +man's lot in life is the comfortable one."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but in our class things are slightly different. Do you think I +would let my wife slave for me? Never—"</p> + +<p>Then he put his hand softly over hers.</p> + +<p>"I would always joyfully shoulder your burdens for you. Don't you know +that?"</p> + +<p>"But I haven't any," said Gentian, laughing as she quietly slipped +her hand away. "Oh, look, isn't that a squirrel above us? The little +darling! He has an acorn, I believe, in his paws."</p> + +<p>"I expect he has a nest up there. I'll just see."</p> + +<p>The squirrel had disappeared under a big branch. Godwin felt that the +moment had not come for him, so he was willing to change the subject. +In an instant he had thrown off his coat and sprung up on a low-lying +branch. The old tree would have been easy for a child to climb, but he +was quite unprepared to have Gentian following him. She was as agile as +he, and when they failed to trace the squirrel's home, they sat astride +a big branch and laughed at each other.</p> + +<p>"I haven't climbed trees for years," she said; "what fun it is. And how +shocked Waddy would be if she were to see me!"</p> + +<p>"She's deep in 'The Times.' Thor has ungallantly left her—he's mooning +round on his own—collecting beetles, I expect. He was always great on +natural history."</p> + +<p>"Isn't it delicious to be off the ground? It's the nearest approach to +a bird, sitting up here out of sight."</p> + +<p>A sudden gale of wind sprang up. Gentian's hat was off her head. In +reaching out to catch it, she overbalanced herself and fell with a +heavy thud upon the grass below. Godwin was down from the tree in a +moment.</p> + +<p>"Are you hurt? Darling Gentian, speak!"</p> + +<p>"You needn't call me darling," murmured Gentian; "I am not dead yet."</p> + +<p>She sat up. No bones were broken, but she had a cut one side of her +forehead, against a projecting bit of root in the ground, and it was +bleeding profusely. Godwin was in an awful state of mind. He took out +his handkerchief, and was in the act of binding it up when Thorold +suddenly appeared.</p> + +<p>"I heard a crash," he said; "and thought there must be an accident."</p> + +<p>Gentian turned impatiently from Godwin towards him.</p> + +<p>"You do it," she said, "I would rather you did."</p> + +<p>Godwin looked hurt, but taking a flask out of his pocket, Thorold bade +him fetch some water from a stream near. In a few minutes the bleeding +was staunched, and her head neatly bound up, but Gentian felt dizzy and +faint. She persisted in walking back to the car, and Thorold's arm was +taken, not Godwin's. Miss Ward, who was sitting in it under the shade +of a chestnut tree, made her comfortable at once, and then they decided +to go to the nearest town, and get a doctor to look at it.</p> + +<p>"It shan't spoil our day," said Gentian. "I'm feeling all right again."</p> + +<p>"What were you doing, dear?"</p> + +<p>"Trying to imagine myself a bird, Waddy. Pride must have a fall."</p> + +<p>"You might have been killed," said Godwin.</p> + +<p>He looked white and shaken. His brother glanced at him curiously, but +made no remark.</p> + +<p>At the very entrance to the next village they were fortunate enough to +come to a doctor's house. The brass plate on the gate told its tale. +They were still more fortunate to find the doctor at home, and he very +soon plastered up the cut, and reassured Miss Ward about it.</p> + +<p>"It's only a surface wound," he said; "and her head is a little +bruised. She is lucky to have escaped so easily."</p> + +<p>"My accident mustn't shorten our day out," said Gentian, when they were +in the car again. "I'm quite well. Do please let us do more of the +Forest."</p> + +<p>So they turned once again into the Forest, and drove through it to the +place they had arranged to have tea. But Godwin's spirits had visibly +declined; his eyes never left Gentian's face, and she noticed and +resented the change in him.</p> + +<p>"Why do you make such big eyes at me!" she exclaimed at last. "You +needn't be glum and cross, because I made a fool of myself."</p> + +<p>They had just left the car when she made this remark. Thorold and Miss +Ward had gone into the hotel to order tea.</p> + +<p>"Oh," he cried, "you don't realize what it meant to me—seeing you fall +like that—you might have been killed on the spot! And I'm afraid even +now that you are more hurt than you make out. You must be! I expect +you'll feel it to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Thank you for your cheerful comfort! You sound like an old lady +talking!"</p> + +<p>A red flush mounted in Godwin's fair cheeks.</p> + +<p>"No man would dare to say that to me," he said quickly.</p> + +<p>Gentian gave one of her rippling laughs.</p> + +<p>"That's how I like to see you. I wanted to get a rise out of you. It's +very nice of you to be so interested in me, but I'd much rather you +forgot all about me and told me some more of your sea yarns."</p> + +<p>"Interested in you!" Godwin exclaimed. "I—I love you, Gentian—I +wouldn't have any hurt happen to your little finger if I could help it. +I feel I could die for you, and yet you wouldn't let me touch you when +you were so hurt! You turned to Thor instead!"</p> + +<p>They were standing on a balcony outside the hotel. In the distance +the golden sun slanted across the old forest trees. It was only five +o'clock, but there seemed already that preliminary hush before evening, +when the active birds retire, wearied, to their beds, in the thick +leafy trees, and the butterflies and bees creep to their respective +lairs, giving place to the countless midges and mosquitos which haunt +the evening air.</p> + +<p>"I always turn to Cousin Thorold when I'm in trouble," Gentian said in +a quiet dignified tone. The pink colour was coming into her cheeks.</p> + +<p>Godwin pressed closer to her, and took possession of her hands.</p> + +<p>"I don't want you to turn to any one except me when I am by your side," +he said in a low passionate tone. "Gentian, tell me you care for me a +little. I can't expect you to love ice as I love you. There's nothing +in me to attract you, I daresay. You're an enchanting, adorable angel. +But I've an honest heart to offer you. And your happiness will be +always my first thought."</p> + +<p>"Oh, please stop—"</p> + +<p>Gentian's voice was troubled now.</p> + +<p>"I like you very much as a friend, but nothing more. No, you could +never be anything more. You're too young. I feel I know as much as +you do. I've lived as long as you have, you know. We're just about +the same age, aren't we? We won't talk any more about it. And if you +only knew the real me, you'd find me a restless, discontented, selfish +creature. And Waddy says I'm hopeless about housekeeping. I burnt a +cake yesterday which she had made. I shouldn't be an enchanting wife. +Anybody who married me would be bitterly, bitterly disappointed in me. +Don't look so miserable."</p> + +<p>Poor Godwin tried to smile. The softness of Gentian's voice, the +kindness in her eyes, and the pretty little shake of her head as +she mentioned her disabilities as a wife, only aggravated his +disappointment. She had hurt him in his tenderest part, when she had +alluded to his youth. But he choked back his feelings and tried to +speak manfully. In his effort, he adopted rather a truculent tone.</p> + +<p>"As far as my youth goes, that will mend itself. I will wait. I will +come back from my next voyage, and then you may listen to me more +patiently. A man who has seen the world as I have, and who has seen +women and beautiful women, too, of all nationalities, is not to be +easily moved, when once he has made his choice. You won't prevent my +continuing to love you. And sometimes pertinacity conquers! Oh, blow +them! Why can't they keep away!"</p> + +<p>This last spluttering ejaculation was made as Thorold and Miss Ward +appeared. And then Gentian added insult to injury by laughing outright. +She checked herself at once and turned to Miss Ward.</p> + +<p>"Is tea ready? We've been admiring the view—at least, I have. How many +trees do you think are in the Forest? A million?"</p> + +<p>She was the one who talked now. Through tea her tongue never faltered.</p> + +<p>Thorold laughed and teased her as was his wont; Godwin was the only one +who sat silent.</p> + +<p>The drive home was not quite such a success. Gentian was rather +relieved than otherwise when the Cottage was reached.</p> + +<p>She slipped her hand into Godwin's with a little comforting pressure.</p> + +<p>"Cheer up," she whispered to him. "I really am not worth what you think +I am, and it is ungrateful of me to have spoiled the delicious day you +have given us. I shall dream of those old Forest glades. Ever so many +thanks."</p> + +<p>"I am going to cheer up," said Godwin, setting his lips determinedly. +"You are too young to know your own mind. You are still a child—"</p> + +<p>This was a Roland for her Oliver.</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him with laughing tender eyes.</p> + +<p>"I'm going to keep you as a friend," she said; and then she turned to +Thorold. "Be very nice to your brother to-night, because we've had a +difference of opinion."</p> + +<p>Then she followed Miss Ward into the Cottage, and her smile disappeared.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Waddy dear, I feel as if I've been beaten all over, and my head +aches so I'll go straight to bed. I don't want any supper."</p> + +<p>Miss Ward was full of anxiety and tenderness at once. She hovered over +her till she was safely in bed. As she stooped over to give her a good +night kiss, Gentian put her arms round her neck and hugged her.</p> + +<p>"You're the only real friend I have, Waddy! The others are only friends +for a time. Directly I won't marry them, they cut up rusty."</p> + +<p>And though Miss Ward was told no more, she knew that Godwin had +received his congé. She sighed as she stroked the curly head on the +pillow.</p> + +<p>"I hope the right man will come one day, dear. Now go to sleep, and +that poor head of yours will be better in the morning."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Meanwhile Thorold and his young brother reached home, Godwin being +unusually silent and subdued.</p> + +<p>Later on, when they sat over the smoking-room fire, and smoked their +pipes, Godwin gave his brother his confidence.</p> + +<p>"I did think she might listen to me; she almost laughed it off. And +having such a short time here is awfully rotten! But I'm in downright +earnest and she'll find it out. I wish you'd sound her a bit, Thor—she +might listen to you. She dismissed me too lightly. I don't believe she +knows her own mind. I've never seen any one like her. It isn't mere +beauty—it's the light and sparkling fire which seem to be covered over +and hidden most of the time. Oh, she's adorable—bewitching—don't laugh +at me—Don't you think she may relent? I'd give my life for her!"</p> + +<p>Thorold did not smile. There was a tender, almost pitying look in his +eyes, as he looked at the earnest boy beside him.</p> + +<p>"I have known others, Godwin, who were going to make you desperate by +not listening to you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, calf love!" said Godwin hastily. "Don't remind me of those +schoolgirls."</p> + +<p>"One was a young widow—"</p> + +<p>"You're very unpleasant!"</p> + +<p>"Forgive me, my boy—I'm only wondering if Gentian Brendon would hold +your heart for a lifetime. You sailors come and go, and you're apt to +be extra susceptible on shore. She's a girl, I fancy, who will demand +a good deal. You're as restless and emotional as she is. Will you +suit each other? I'm only looking the thing fair and square in the +face. I could wish for a different type of wife for your happiness. +Two impatient, aspiring, eager young souls do not always go happily +together in harness!"</p> + +<p>"That's just clap-trap! I don't put her in the scales and weigh every +mood and attribute that she possesses—I'm in love with her. I'll never +marry anyone else! Never!"</p> + +<p>A silence fell between them, which Thorold broke.</p> + +<p>"She is not unaccustomed to having young fellows in love with her. I +gather from Miss Ward that she has had several proposals already, and I +interviewed one lover who was badly hit. I am only telling you this to +prepare you for the worst. She's a very determined young lady, and will +not easily change her mind."</p> + +<p>"She's a child—a baby—she has no mind to change."</p> + +<p>But Godwin's heart sank within him. He said no more, and retired early +to bed, though not to sleep.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Thorold, looking across the breakfast table at him the next morning, +felt very sympathetic towards him.</p> + +<p>"I'll have a talk with Gentian, my boy—and tell you the result."</p> + +<p>"If she won't have anything to do with me, I'll go up to town. I can't +stay on here. The Cliffords want me to stay with them."</p> + +<p>Godwin spoke quietly, but he looked quite miserable.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>About twelve o'clock, Thorold went off down the road. He heard the +sound of the organ in the little church, and slipped inside to listen. +He was very fond of music, and Gentian was playing so exquisitely that +he sat down just inside the door and lost himself in a dream. When she +had finished, he waited for her in the churchyard. She came down the +path talking to an old man who had been blowing for her. When she saw +Thorold, she smiled and waved her hand to him.</p> + +<p>"Have you come to make tender inquiries after my poor head?"</p> + +<p>"I hope you are none the worse for the accident?" Thorold said gravely.</p> + +<p>"Just a little," replied Gentian. "I'm in a nervy, irritable state of +mind to-day. Waddy annoyed me at breakfast and I was rude to her, so I +came into church to get good again."</p> + +<p>"I want to have a little talk with you," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Waddy has gone into the town to shop. Come along in."</p> + +<p>She led the way to the Vicarage. The little room was full of fragrant +roses in china bowls. The low windows were wide open, and the scent of +mignonette and heliotrope came in from the beds outside.</p> + +<p>Gentian took up her position with her back to the fireplace. She +motioned to Thorold to take a seat, but he declined.</p> + +<p>"Not while you stand."</p> + +<p>"Oh, how old-fashioned you are! I never get a chance of looking down +upon you. If I did, it would help me enormously."</p> + +<p>She sat down on the couch, and Thorold took a seat opposite her. Then +he cleared his throat and began:</p> + +<p>"It's a rather delicate subject, but I have really come to you on +Godwin's behalf. He is very unhappy, and is buoyed up with the hope +that possibly you will reconsider your decision."</p> + +<p>Gentian's blue eyes began to sparkle.</p> + +<p>"Well now, honestly, Cousin Thorold, do you advise me to marry such a +boy?"</p> + +<p>There was a little silence.</p> + +<p>"Godwin is a frank, straightforward, good-living lad," said Thorold +slowly and a little heavily. "I don't think he is from a worldly point +of view a good match. But he'll have some money at my death, and—"</p> + +<p>A low ripple of laughter came from Gentian's lips.</p> + +<p>"Please excuse me," she said checking herself. "Do you think my +marriage with your brother will relieve you of a rather tiresome +neighbour? It might for a time, but if you are really interested +in your brother, I wouldn't advise you to urge it. I am positively +certain I should run away from him before I had been married to him a +twelvemonth. And I'm sure you wouldn't like that. It would worry you a +lot."</p> + +<p>"Do not think for a moment that I want to get rid of you."</p> + +<p>Thorold's tone was earnest.</p> + +<p>"Frankly, I have told Godwin that I consider you both too young for +marriage. Not in years, perhaps, but in temperament. Still, I promised +to speak to you. He is under the impression that you may alter your +mind."</p> + +<p>"Now, Cousin Thorold, look me straight in the face and tell me if you +really and truly from the bottom of your heart think that I should make +your brother a good wife? You know I shouldn't. Waddy says I think a +lot of myself. But I know my limitations. It would take much more of +a man than Godwin to have the patience necessary to bear with me. I +think I'm only half-fledged. I'm not sufficiently developed to be a +satisfactory wife for any one. And he hasn't the character to attract +or inspire me. You've done your best, but you're too truthful by nature +to be a good advocate in this case. Tell him you found me a veritable +block of marble, and that nothing in this world would make me ever +think of him in the light of a husband. I'm awfully sorry for you both. +I don't think I'm a marrying sort. I'm sure I shall go on living here +and get old and grey. You won't get rid of me in a hurry."</p> + +<p>Then a dawning look came into her eyes. She clasped her hands round her +knees and gazed out of the window.</p> + +<p>"If I were to marry, the man must be like a rock for steadiness and +reliability; he must never fail me, never deceive me, never disappoint +me. And his soul must be the strongest part of him just as it is the +weakest part of me. It would be rather a one-sided bargain, wouldn't +it?"</p> + +<p>She jumped up from her seat suddenly.</p> + +<p>"And now we have done with the subject, haven't we? Do come out and eat +a few strawberries with me. We have such stunning ones just now."</p> + +<p>But Thorold shook his head, and went thoughtfully back to his young +brother.</p> + +<p>Why was he so devoutly thankful that Gentian did not want to be his +sister-in-law?</p> + +<p>Godwin listened to his brother's account of the interview with a moody +face.</p> + +<p>"I still believe she doesn't know her own mind, but I'm not one to be +begging for snubs on my knees. I'll go up to town to-morrow and—and +forget her if I can."</p> + +<p>"I think that's the best thing you can do," said Thorold gravely.</p> + +<p>So Godwin disappeared, and Gentian seemed perfectly indifferent as to +his existence. She never asked for him, or mentioned his visit.</p> + +<p>And Miss Ward wisely respected her silence, and kept clear of any +reference to that day in the New Forest.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_9">CHAPTER IX</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>DARK CLOUDS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>GENTIAN did not see Thorold for some time after this. He went away into +Cornwall to visit an old friend, and though he only meant his visit to +last a week or ten days, it prolonged itself into a month. She missed +him more than she had thought it possible she could. Miss Ward looked +at her in an amused fashion when one day she said rather impatiently +that he ought to be back.</p> + +<p>"Surely you like to be free from any kind of surveillance or influence, +my dear? You are always telling me that Mr. Holt presumes upon his +assumed cousinship."</p> + +<p>"So he does, Waddy, but I do enjoy a scrap sometimes. It's so dull when +no one opposes me. You are much too gentle, you know. It isn't much fun +to fight a feather!"</p> + +<p>"Is that what I am?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't look hurt! You're an angel."</p> + +<p>"I don't fancy," Miss Ward said slowly, "that Mr. Holt will always stay +here. He has said several times to me lately that he is feeling lazy +and self-indulgent, and that he is not old enough to live the life he +is doing."</p> + +<p>"Why, what other life could he live?" Gentian looked startled. "He's on +ever so many philanthropic councils and committees, and always busy. +How could he go away from his house? It's his own, and every one says +he deserves the rest he is having. He has earned it they say."</p> + +<p>"I suppose he does seem old to you—but he doesn't to me. I rather agree +with him. He is a man of exceptional ability, and there is very little +real work to occupy him here."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Waddy, what stuff you are talking! People don't want work when +they have money."</p> + +<p>"You are very young, my child. Money supplies the needs of the body, +not of the mind and soul."</p> + +<p>"I'm not going to argue the point," said Gentian laughing; "you do +love to put me in my place, Waddy, just under your feet, where if I do +attempt a rise, you give me a firm pat down again. I know this much, +that you and I could do with more money. My mind needs books, and +intellectual entertainment, and a more crowded atmosphere to make it +work properly. I think Cousin Thorold is the only one who stimulates +me to think, and if he went away, I believe I should march after him! +Don't look so horrified! I disliked him intensely when we first came +here, but he has a way of impressing himself—his individuality you +would say—upon you, which makes his absence quite a blank. Don't let us +talk any more about him. I'm pretty certain he doesn't want to uproot +himself from here—"</p> + +<p>Gentian had perplexed and puzzled Miss Ward all her life, but perhaps +never more than now. She seemed to have fits of preoccupation and +moodiness, alternated with reckless gaiety and irresponsibility.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Miss Ward was more relieved than otherwise when Gentian came home one +day and announced with glee that she was going to take the Miss Buchans +up to Scotland in the car.</p> + +<p>"We shall be gone three weeks or a month; they'll pay all my expenses. +Isn't it too enchanting! We've been looking out a tour—up the +Caledonian Canal. I've seen pictures of it—a perfect dream, through +Braemar, and we shall end in the Trossachs—taking Edinburgh and Perth +by the way. Oh, Waddy, if ever I shall have a good time, it will be +now!"</p> + +<p>"I wonder they trust themselves to you—I hope you'll do it by easy +stages. It will be too much for you otherwise. I don't know that I +altogether approve. But I suppose they will look after you."</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed and scoffed at this last idea.</p> + +<p>"I am going to look after them. It is a triumph for me. Miss Horatia +said when I first went to them that she would never go in a car as long +as she had a horse, but she's actually coming with us. Can't trust me +with Miss Anne; she pretends she's making herself into a martyr, but +I believe she'll enjoy it as much as I shall. The Scotch all seem to +think their country is the most wonderful in the world, and they want +to go and see the part to which they belong. Miss Anne is quite keen +to go. She's always talking about the Scotch air in the Highlands. I +laugh when I think that Miss Anne was so nervous when I began, that +she wouldn't let me drive through the high street on market day! How +delighted you will be to get rid of me, Waddy! It will be a peaceful +holiday for you."</p> + +<p>Miss Ward shook her head.</p> + +<p>"I shall be anxious till I get you back again under my wing. I never +have confidence in these cars." But she made no more objection, saw +that Gentian had plenty of warm clothes for the tour, and packed all +her belongings with her own hands.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The house was certainly very quiet when she had gone. Her letters were +Miss Ward's greatest comfort. She wrote in the highest spirits, and +beyond one or two slight mishaps, the tour seemed a great success.</p> + +<p>Thorold was back before Gentian was, but he seemed strangely absorbed +when Miss Ward met him, and did not come to the house as often as was +his custom.</p> + +<p>The days were closing in before Gentian returned. She sent a wire the +day she expected to arrive, and turned up at the Cottage about seven +o'clock one evening. Miss Ward was relieved to see her looking fit +and well, though she thought her thinner—and Gentian took it as a +compliment when she said so.</p> + +<p>"I do dislike to be plump," she said; "and I can assure you I've kept +them on the go the whole time. But they've thoroughly enjoyed it, and +so have I. Only they say they've had enough of the car for the present, +and have given me a fortnight's holiday. What shall we do, Waddy? Is +Cousin Thor home? Wasn't it queer? We ran up against a daughter of +the man he is staying with! She had just arrived in Edinburgh when we +were leaving. Her father is a rector down in Cornwall. Such a handsome +girl! But we didn't cotton to each other. She talked of Cousin Thor in +a patronizing, appropriative kind of way. Said he was a thorough good +sort, and that she and he had a lot in common, and it was nice to think +of having him as a possible neighbour soon. Now what did she mean by +that? I didn't let her see I was curious, but I am most dreadfully and +painfully so. Are you in his confidence? Before I went away you spoke +as if he might be leaving us."</p> + +<p>"It was only conjecture, my dear. I know nothing, and have hardly seen +him to speak to since he came back."</p> + +<p>"Oh, well, I'll ask him straight out. He'll tell me. Men can never keep +a secret."</p> + +<p>And the very next afternoon Thorold appeared and found Gentian +comfortably settled by the fire with a book. Miss Ward was out in the +village doing a little shopping at the general shop there.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said; "you're back again. Had a good time?"</p> + +<p>"A heavenly one! And you?"</p> + +<p>Thorold drew up a chair to the fire, and rubbed his hands together, +looking reflectively into the glowing coals.</p> + +<p>"I'm very glad I went down, very. I've come to rather a momentous +decision. We've sometimes had talks together about work in life, +haven't we? You rubbed it in one day when you talked of wanting to do +something with your life."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian, twinkling her eyes as she looked at him, "but you +discouraged me. I must always be content to stay where I am and do what +I'm bid—I am too young to strike out a new line for myself."</p> + +<p>He smiled. "I think you are at present. But it's a different case +with me. Dick Muir, my friend in Cornwall, opened a door to me. You +know I'm a bit of a Socialist. I believe in sharing good things with +those who are without them, and the people all round him are in an +awfully bad way. No work—no money—no hope for better times. As their +parson, he feels it—and he can do so little to help. The long and +short is—I'm going to open up a mine there to provide work. I have the +money to do it, for an investment I made some time ago has proved very +remunerative. What's the good of living in idleness and luxury when +others are starving? It isn't the life anyone but the helpless and aged +ought to live. And I've strength and brain for a long time yet, I'm +hoping."</p> + +<p>Gentian's blue eyes were big with interest and concern.</p> + +<p>"I don't know anything about mines," she said, "except that they're +down in the earth. Will you be a miner? You don't live in idleness, +Cousin Thorold. Mr. Wharnecliffe says you're taking the first rest +you've had in your life!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I've had my rest right enough. The mines have been closed down—the +owners found them a losing concern, but they got into difficulties +through want of capital."</p> + +<p>"Then you may lose, too, if you put your money in it, and then what +would you do?"</p> + +<p>"It wouldn't hurt me if I did. I have no one dependent on me now. But +I don't think I shall lose. Anyway, I'm going to take the risk. I've +been talking to an expert down there. The mines were not developed far +enough. They stopped short when they ought to have gone on. It would +give work to hundreds. That's worth thinking about in these days."</p> + +<p>"Well, they'll only want your money, not yourself," said Gentian +serenely. "You'll go on living here, won't you?"</p> + +<p>Thorold shook his head.</p> + +<p>"No, I want to be part and parcel of the concern; my own manager by and +by. I shall sell up here and live in quite a small way down there at +first. But I want to start it personally and get in touch with those I +employ."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent.</p> + +<p>Thorold looked at her with his kind, thoughtful eyes.</p> + +<p>"It won't make any difference to you and Miss Ward," he said; "you'll +go on living here just the same. I shan't sell the Vicarage. And you +will be freed from my unwarranted interference in your doings!"</p> + +<p>He smiled as he spoke, but Gentian did not smile.</p> + +<p>"You've made such a substantial background to our life here, that I +don't know what we shall feel like without you."</p> + +<p>"A background can very easily be dispensed with," he said lightly.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I am very rude to call you a background," said Gentian, +looking at him contritely. "And I don't think it quite describes you. +You are too aggressive for that!"</p> + +<p>"I'm generally considered a very mild-mannered man."</p> + +<p>Gentian laughed, and her face cleared.</p> + +<p>"I like you better than I did," she said; "and if I get very dull here +having no one to contradict me, I shall drag Waddy off to Cornwall +and take some lodgings just over your mines, and watch you trying to +turn yourself into a miner or mine-owner. Do you know I have been to +Scotland; and in Edinburgh I met a Miss Frances Muir, a great friend of +yours?"</p> + +<p>"Did you meet her? How strange! She's a nice girl. I'm her godfather."</p> + +<p>Miss Ward came back at this moment, and she had to be told the news. +She took it quietly, but she had a strange sinking of heart when she +realized that she would no longer be able to appeal to Thorold for +advice. She had certainly leant upon him more than she had ever done +upon anyone before.</p> + +<p>Thorold's news soon spread. Mrs. Wharnecliffe had known all about it +from the beginning, and she highly disapproved of the step.</p> + +<p>"He will lose his money, and his health, and die in the workhouse," she +told her husband. "Why is it that some people will never take their +rest in this world? I almost wish he had not come into money. I might +have known it would never do him any lasting good!"</p> + +<p>"I think it's a fine thing of him to do," said her husband. "I wish a +few more moneyed folk would open up some Cornish mines. I've been told +the land is rich with untold wealth below the surface, and anyone who +gives employment, to our honest poor in these days is a benefactor."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Before the winter came, Thorold's house was for sale, and he was saying +good-bye to his friends.</p> + +<p>"You can't have got your mines ready yet to work," said Gentian, when +he paid his farewell visit to her.</p> + +<p>"No, but I want to know my manager and the people round, and every +detail of the work if I can."</p> + +<p>"You'll work yourself to death." She looked up at him with troubled +eyes.</p> + +<p>Thorold would not meet those blue eyes. He seemed nervous and ill at +ease.</p> + +<p>"If anything goes wrong here," he said, suddenly turning to Miss Ward, +"be sure to let me know."</p> + +<p>"What could go wrong?" said Gentian, giving a funny little laugh. "I +shall only drive my car, and play my organ, and worry Waddy to death! +Life is very monotonous. I shall try hard and make it hum if I can, but +I'm getting rather tired of this part of the world. If only I could +make a little more money, we might go back to Italy."</p> + +<p>"That is out of the question," Miss Ward said sharply.</p> + +<p>"We won't consider this a long farewell," said Thorold in a cheerful +tone.</p> + +<p>He took Gentian's hand in his.</p> + +<p>She gave him a quick little grip, then pulled her hand away and whisked +round to the window.</p> + +<p>"It's raining," she said. "Even the sky is weeping at the thought of +losing you."</p> + +<p>But when Thorold went out at the hall door, there was a moist drop on +his hand which had not fallen from the skies. And his lips compressed +themselves together as he strode out into the wet.</p> + +<p>"She hasn't had her chance yet. I'm an old fool—much, much too dull +and old, to think of such a thing. But I'm glad the child likes me a +little. I never thought she would."</p> + +<p>He had not been in Cornwall many days before he got a letter from +Gentian.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "My DEAR COUSIN THOROLD,—<br> +<br> + "Cousins can write to each other, can't they? And I want some safety +valve—else I shall have spontaneous combustion. You told us to let +you know if anything is wrong, and something is very wrong with me. I +really don't think I can go on living here. Mrs. Wharnecliffe has shut +up her house and gone to London. Sir Gilbert has gone off to Cannes. +Miss Horatia is hunting and thinks and talks of nothing else. I wander +up and down the road and look at your empty house. We hear some one has +bought it—a single woman, they say, but she hasn't yet appeared. Your +English winters are loathsome. Rain and mud, mud and rain—black skies, +dead trees and hedges, and cold as the North Pole. How can you expect +us to thrive without any sun? Miss Anne is in for the winter—at least, +she is in unless we get a mild, sunny day. Instead of driving her out, +I go over and read to her. That's the only nice time in my day. She +gets books down from Mudie's and I live in them from three to four +every afternoon. Do write and say what you're doing and where you are +living, and if Miss Frances Muir has taken possession of you. And do, +do find out a big piece of work—real work for me to do, with a very +big W.<br> +<br> + "Women can do anything nowadays—but there seems nothing that just suits +me. I'm getting almost tired of my car, and I want to do something +big—and worth living for. I'm praying for something to be sent to me. I +know you believe in prayer. I wish I could lead a Crusade, or something +of that sort. I want to do something that will call out all my powers +of soul as well as of my body. You see how the poor Bubble wants to +soar! And Waddy is trying to fasten me down with string to the earth. +String composed of Convention and Caution and Contentment, three C's +that I snap and break in fury.<br> +<br> + "Write me a long letter and cheer me up.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">"YOUR POOR DISTRACTED BUBBLE."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>But before Thorold could reply to this, Gentian's prayers were answered +in a way that she little expected.</p> + +<p>It was a cold grey afternoon in December. Gentian was returning in her +car from the Mount where she had been reading to Miss Anne. As she +neared the Vicarage she saw a car with lights standing outside the gate.</p> + +<p>Jumping out of her own car, she met the doctor who lived near coming +down the path.</p> + +<p>"Dr. Wild, what is the matter?" she cried out.</p> + +<p>He looked at her gravely as he pulled on his gloves.</p> + +<p>"It's your friend—Miss Ward. I fortunately happened to be passing when +your small maid called me in. I'll come back into the house with you. I +think you'll have to have a nurse."</p> + +<p>"Oh," cried Gentian, "tell me quickly. Is it an accident?"</p> + +<p>"No—it's a seizure, and a bad one. Your maid found her unconscious, and +she's unconscious still. Was she quite well when you saw her last?"</p> + +<p>But Gentian had dashed upstairs. She could hardly believe it to be +true, and flung herself on the bed by Miss Ward's unconscious figure.</p> + +<p>"Waddy, dearest Waddy, speak to me, speak! Oh, what can have happened +to you!"</p> + +<p>She was so unused to illness, and the shock was so sudden, that she was +almost beside herself.</p> + +<p>Dr. Wild got her out of the room and talked to her quietly downstairs, +and in a short time she had regained her self-control.</p> + +<p>"She was quite well when I left her this afternoon. She had been +complaining of her head these last few days, but I thought it was only +one of her ordinary headaches. We can't afford a nurse. I'll nurse her +myself. She's all the world to me!"</p> + +<p>So Gentian talked, but the doctor meant to have his way about a nurse.</p> + +<p>"Have her for a week, and we shall then see how things are going. Has +she ever had an attack like this before?"</p> + +<p>"Never, that I know of. It's awful! What shall we do?"</p> + +<p>"You'll get through all right," he said reassuringly. "I must go now +as I've other patients to see, but I'll look in again this evening and +bring back a nurse with me."</p> + +<p>It seemed like some black dream to poor Gentian. She had never realized +how dependent she was on Miss Ward till now, nor how deep was her +affection for her.</p> + +<p>Dr. Wild was able to bring back a nice capable nurse, and Gentian was +persuaded to go to bed leaving her in charge. But she did not sleep.</p> + +<p>Life, which had seemed so easy before, now presented horrible +possibilities. She felt her own inexperience and irresponsibility. +What would she do without her faithful friend beside her? She had no +experience of housekeeping or money matters. Miss Ward had kept the +house going economically, but comfortably. She would appear the first +thing every morning at Gentian's bedside with a cup of tea and some +daintily cut bread and butter. She tidied her room and drawers, she +cooked, or supervised their village maid, she dusted the rooms and kept +flowers fresh and clean, and mended Gentian's clothes; even darned her +stockings.</p> + +<p>All this the girl had taken as a matter of course. It had been done +during her mother's lifetime. Miss Ward had been nurse, and maid, and +companion, and friend, and chaperon, in turn to her. Now she was lying +unconscious, stricken down in one moment, and the doctor seemed to +think seriously of the case.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "O God," Gentian prayed, "have pity on me. I can't live without her! +Make her well again, I beseech Thee to do it. I am quite helpless +without her. I have been a selfish pig. I promise Thee I'll try to do +better, and think more of her and less of myself if Thou sparest her!"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>She tossed to and fro on her bed, and rose the next morning unrefreshed +by her night's rest. Kate, the little maid, brought her a cup of tea +with scared eyes.</p> + +<p>"She ain't no better, miss. I've seen nurse. She be just the same, +breathing so loud and hard, it fair frightens me!"</p> + +<p>"Send nurse to me—"</p> + +<p>And so the nurse came, but could give her little comfort. Gentian +dressed and came downstairs, then set to work to keep things going as +usual in the small household. She sent a note to Miss Buchan telling +her what had happened. And then she waited patiently for the doctor's +visit, hoping vainly that he would give her better news.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_10">CHAPTER X</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>LEFT ALONE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was a sunny morning towards the end of February. The garden was gay +with spring bulbs, and Gentian stood looking out of the window upon the +bright scene in front of her with wistful lips and sad eyes. Her bright +colour had faded, her face was white and rather strained. She seemed +to be years older, and yet it was barely two months since Miss Ward +had been first taken ill. For those two months Gentian and a nurse had +hardly left the invalid's room.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe had been in and out, and wanted Gentian to come and +stay with her for a little rest, but she firmly refused to leave the +house even for one evening, and every one was surprised to see the +merry, volatile girl, turn into the thoughtful, patient nurse. Gentian +made many mistakes at first, and was rather rebellious and impatient +when she found her earnest prayers for her dear Waddy were not going to +be answered in the way she wished.</p> + +<p>For a few weeks it seemed that Miss Ward would recover; then she had +another seizure, and gradually became unconscious again.</p> + +<p>It was a terrible time for poor Gentian when she was told by the +doctor that there was no longer any hope of recovery. But she remained +steadfastly at her post, tried not to think of the future, and gave up +her whole heart and strength to minister to her friend's needs.</p> + +<p>Just before Miss Ward passed away, she seemed to have a phase of +consciousness. Gentian bent over her lovingly.</p> + +<p>"Waddy, darling, I'm here."</p> + +<p>The sick woman smiled, pointed upwards, and said, with a little effort, +"Home!" Then her eyes closed, and a few moments after, her spirit had +left her tired body and had reached its "Home."</p> + +<p>Gentian was at first like one stunned. Mrs. Wharnecliffe swept down +upon her again, but she would not leave the little house till her +friend was laid to rest in the peaceful churchyard close by, and she +insisted upon presiding at the organ and playing the "Dead March" when +all was over.</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Wharnecliffe was allowed to have her way, and Gentian +accompanied her home and stayed there for a few days. But she seemed as +if she could not rest.</p> + +<p>"I would rather go home," she told her hostess; "there is a good deal I +must do."</p> + +<p>"My dear child, you cannot continue to live there alone. I wish Thorold +was here; it is most unfortunate that he should be abroad. I have +written to him, and I know he will come as soon as his young brother is +quite convalescent. He always has been the slave of those boys."</p> + +<p>"Godwin has been very ill," said Gentian rebukingly; "when his ship +left him at the hospital in Gibraltar, they did not think he would +live."</p> + +<p>"You know all about it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile.</p> + +<p>"Of course I do. Cousin Thor and I write to each other continually."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked at the girl, but said nothing. She was puzzled +herself as to what had better be done with Gentian, now that her +natural protector had left her.</p> + +<p>"If you really want to live on in your present home," she said +presently, "it will be quite easy to find you some nice person as +companion—or somebody of that class to live with you."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Gentian, with a little fire in her eye—"I shall not +need anyone to supplant dear Waddy."</p> + +<p>She had refused to discuss the subject further. She seemed to Mrs. +Wharnecliffe to have suddenly developed into a very remote and +self-reliant young woman. But then Mrs. Wharnecliffe had not seen her +last letter to Thorold, a letter that was causing him to wrinkle his +brows with much perplexity of soul.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Oh, Cousin Thor, do you know what has happened? The skies have fallen +on me, my world has gone to pieces, and I am crushed to atoms. My +darling Waddy has left me. I hoped, as you know, that she was going to +get well. But she had another seizure, and she left me without a word, +excepting that she pointed upwards and murmured 'Home.' What does a +girl do when her comforter, and mentor, and prop, and refuge is taken +from her? Waddy filled my mother's place, she was my safety valve, she +circled me with attentions and ministrations and love. I thought I was +independent and self-reliant. Just as much as a limpet is independent +of its rock! And I am rebellious, and desolate, and absolutely at the +end of everything. What am I to do? How am I to live? I don't promise +to do a single thing you say, but you must write to me at once—sheets, +please! And inspire me with a desire to live, and imbue me with some +fraction of courage—and tell me what I ought to be thinking, and +saying, and doing. I am so frightfully unprepared for this awful blow. +You are never unprepared for anything. But all the same I don't believe +you can say anything that will bring me the least ray of light or +comfort.<br> +<br> + "I'm trying to be self-controlled. I say to myself—'I'll eat my +breakfast, I'll take a walk—I'll order dinner and eat it. I'll darn my +stockings and mend the household linen, and do all the things I most +dislike, until tea comes, and then I'll take another walk, and then +I'll eat my supper; and then I'll go to bed, and I'll go round and +round this treadmill till I die, but never shall I feel happy and gay +and young again.'<br> +<br> + "There's one thing I can't do. I can't go into church and play my +beloved organ. I did it for her funeral, but I shudder at the thought +of touching it again. And I think my nerves have gone to pieces. I feel +if I took 'Mousie' out, I would drive myself into eternity. I daren't +trust myself at her wheel. I daren't go over to the Miss Buchans yet. I +daren't start driving Miss Anne out. So all my favourite pursuits are +gone.<br> +<br> + "This is all about myself, but now I have nobody in the world to love, +or who loves me, so that I shall grow more selfish and egotistical than +ever. Who wouldn't? I'm glad your brother is on the way to recovery.<br> +<br> + "I may say that my religion has all gone to pieces as well as +everything else. God seems nowhere. He hasn't listened to me. I feel He +hasn't cared. He wanted Waddy and He took her, and He doesn't take the +slightest notice of me, or cares for me at all—I have agonized my soul +in prayer to no purpose at all. This is all I have to say.<br> +<br> + "The Bubble at last has burst—<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 7.5em;">"YOUR POOR BURST BUBBLE.</span><br> +<br> + "Are you going to turn me out of the little Vicarage now that Waddy +has gone?"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>It was rather a relief than otherwise to Mrs. Wharnecliffe when +Gentian had left her and returned to the Vicarage. She was concerned +about the girl, but could not comfort her. She marvelled at her still +icy composure, but she was a woman of experience and guessed that +underneath was a depth of grief which she could hardly fathom.</p> + +<p>She had been touched by the faithful love and adoration shown by Miss +Ward to her charge, but she had not realized how much it was returned +by the merry light-hearted girl.</p> + +<p>And now Gentian was home again in the empty house, and was gazing out +upon her flower-beds, wishing that winter would return and be more in +unison with her feelings.</p> + +<p>Kate the little maid had gone to the village on an errand. When the +latch of the gate was lifted, Gentian thought it might be her returning.</p> + +<p>Then a short quick rap on the door made her start, and flush with +sudden excitement. Surely no one but Thorold Holt knocked like that!</p> + +<p>In a moment she was out in the hall and at the door.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Cousin Thor!" was her only exclamation, but seizing him by both +hands she dragged him into the sitting-room.</p> + +<p>He smiled at her as he relieved himself of his light overcoat, then he +seated himself in the big arm-chair by the fire.</p> + +<p>"I wonder if I can do you any good by coming," he said. "I am on my way +back to Cornwall. I arrived last night. The Wharnecliffes are putting +me up."</p> + +<p>Gentian was struggling now for self-control. To her horror, tears were +rising to her eyes.</p> + +<p>In her impulsive fashion she exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"If I cry, take no notice—I feel I would like to lie down on the +hearthrug and sob myself to death."</p> + +<p>Then she drew her hand lightly across her eyes.</p> + +<p>"It is only the sight of you, just the same as ever, sitting there +looking at me—that breaks me down. There! I'm better. It's waste of +time crying whilst you're here. I suppose you have a flying half-hour +to spend with me?"</p> + +<p>"No—I am in no hurry. Can you give me lunch?"</p> + +<p>Gentian flew out of the room. She returned after a short consultation +with Kate in the kitchen. A ray of brightness was in her face.</p> + +<p>Then she sobered down. For some minutes she talked of Miss Ward's last +hours.</p> + +<p>"I wrote to you, but there's nothing like talking," she said, with a +long-drawn breath, when she had told him all.</p> + +<p>"That's what I thought," said Thorold dryly. "I resolved to answer your +letter in person. Shall I begin?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, do—what am I to do? Is there any hope? It all seems so dark."</p> + +<p>"It is a pity you did not live in the Early Christian times," said +Thorold slowly. "What is such a misery to you was such a joy to them! +Have you never, in your life abroad, visited the Catacombs in Rome?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I did once, but I thought it gruesome."</p> + +<p>"Did you not notice the triumphant joy that was the keynote to all the +inscriptions there?"</p> + +<p>"I noticed nothing. I came out of it as soon as I could. What have the +Catacombs to do with me?"</p> + +<p>"Only that those early Christians took the right course as regards +death. It was a joyful event to all of them, and so ought it to be to +us, and if we love persons very much, we should rejoice in their joy +and not think about ourselves."</p> + +<p>"Ah, now you're coming down from heaven to earth. I knew you would call +me selfish, my letter was a wail of self-misery, but it's just how I +felt! Of course, I hope darling Waddy is happy, but that doesn't alter +my misery—I thought I could live alone, but I find I can't."</p> + +<p>"I quite agree with you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't be fixing up some starched old woman to live with me who +will look upon me as an unpleasant duty. After darling Waddy, who +really loved me, anyone, however suitable in your sight, would be a +torture to me."</p> + +<p>There was silence. Then Gentian said appealingly:</p> + +<p>"I know I'm pig-headed and unreasonable. Forgive me, I don't know what +I'm saying, or what I want. I really would like—"</p> + +<p>She paused, and a little bright mischief came into her eye.</p> + +<p>"I would like to come down to Cornwall and keep house for you. You've +made yourself into a kind of guardian of mine. Can't a ward live +with her guardian? That reminds me, I am exceedingly annoyed about +something and I had better have it out with you at once. I have been +looking into our business affairs—my business affairs, I shall have to +say now, and I find that in the banking account which is held jointly +in Waddy's name and mine, there is a certain big quarterly sum which +seems to come from you. What is the meaning of it? I just left all +money matters to Waddy and the dear thing has left a written paper in +which she bequeaths all her hard-earned savings to me. Have you been +supplementing our income ever since we came to live here?"</p> + +<p>"It was an arrangement I made with Miss Ward," said Thorold, fidgeting +in his seat, and looking rather uncomfortable, "we talked it over. I +considered that some of your cousin's money rightfully belonged to you, +and I hope you will let the arrangement stand as it is."</p> + +<p>"I shall do nothing of the sort. I am not going to receive charity from +you."</p> + +<p>Gentian's eyes flashed as she spoke. She looked really angry, then with +her quick silvery moods, she dissolved into a tearful smile.</p> + +<p>"Oh, forgive me! It's more than generous and good of you, but don't +you see my pride or self-respect won't let me take it from you? +Unless—unless—you would let me be your housekeeper in a business +capacity and give me a salary. I really have become quite good at +cooking and keeping house."</p> + +<p>"My dear child," said Thorold hastily, "I don't yet possess a house +in Cornwall. I am living at the Rectory, and I have no housekeeper at +present."</p> + +<p>"But you won't be always at the Rectory?</p> + +<p>"No. I am thinking of taking a small house a couple of miles out of the +village, but I may not do that. It is all uncertain. I am waiting to +see how the mine develops."</p> + +<p>"Well, what is to become of me?" said Gentian, the gloom returning +to her face again. "I think I shall go back to Italy and try to earn +a living there. Nobody wants me, or cares for me in this grey old +England, and I have sunshine in Italy. I expect you'll say I must leave +this little Vicarage, where I have been so happy. I shall have to earn +my living in some way."</p> + +<p>"Have you seen or heard anything of the Miss Buchans?"</p> + +<p>"They wrote their sympathy and asked me to come over and see them. Miss +Horatia called one day, but I was crying my eyes out and I wouldn't +see her. I'm not ready to see people yet. I'm not controlled enough; +at least, it's a strain to be so. I was at Mrs. Wharnecliffe's for a +few days, and was quite glad to get back here again, where I can cry in +peace, and go without my meals if I choose!"</p> + +<p>"Well, I must tell you that Miss Anne Buchan told Mrs. Wharnecliffe +yesterday that she would very much like you to go to her altogether as +a companion as well as a chauffeur. She is one person who is fond of +you. You like her, do you not? You would have a comfortable home with +them."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him with grave eyes.</p> + +<p>"So dull, so commonplace," she murmured. "I know you will fix up some +dreary groove for me. And I warn you I shall not stay in it—I suppose I +ought not to care. I ought to be grateful for a roof over my head, and +food to eat, and fires to warm me. I know what your winters are like, +and of course it is good to be sheltered; I suppose it won't matter +where I am or what I do, for I shall be too miserable to care. And I've +lost my faith in God, that's the worst of all."</p> + +<p>"That would be the worst fate of all, if you had," said Thorold +gravely. "But you're in a fog at present and don't realize that the sun +is the other side and will soon shine through."</p> + +<p>"Now, let us leave my fate, and future alone for a bit, and you talk +to me about my soul," said Gentian, crossing her hands in her lap like +a little child, and looking up at him with wistful expectancy. "I know +you're a good man from things you've said to me, but you bottle it all +up inside and won't let yourself go. Be like Sir Gilbert. He talks to +me like an angel. He is not like a stiff, reserved Englishman."</p> + +<p>"Is that what you find me?"</p> + +<p>"No, not when you find fault with me, you're quick enough and sharp +enough then, but you don't let me know what you feel about Paradise, +and God, and the Heavenly Things."</p> + +<p>There was a little silence, then Thorold said suddenly:</p> + +<p>"When I went down to Cornwall I got a new waterproof coat. I was not +sure whether it was as genuine as the shopkeeper stated, I wanted a +storm-proof garment, not a shower-proof one, and I told him so. There +are wild storms round the Cornish coast, and I was soon out in one. +My coat kept me dry, but it needed the storm for me to test it. It +wouldn't have been any good to me if it had only kept the showers off."</p> + +<p>"Now, what on earth are you driving at?"</p> + +<p>"Don't you see that the storms in life ought not to shake our faith in +God? They are test times and sent to us for the purpose. Your religion +is a very flimsy fabric if it will not stand you when trouble comes. +A man learns to know the value of his fireproof safe if a fire takes +place, in a way that he would never know otherwise. What do you think +has happened to your Heavenly Father? Is not He above, ordering all +things still? If He thinks fit to send you trouble and loneliness and +the loss of your friend, ought you not to accept it at His hand? Think +of Job in the first overwhelming moments of his trouble:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not +receive evil?'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Surely your faith is robust enough, and your love sincere enough, +to trust in the One Who has you in His keeping! I heard some one say +once—'A knife does not only cut to wound but to beautify.' He was +speaking of the gardener's ruthless pruning at times, but go into any +Cathedral and see the effect of the knife and the chisel on the walls +and roofs, making it a building of delight and joy to all who are in +it. You have been touched by the knife now. Is it not going to beautify +your character? Teach you patience and submission, and courage to +endure?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, you are severe! You make me feel so wicked! But I do believe I am, +and it is myself that is all wrong, and God Who is all right!"</p> + +<p>Gentian gazed before her with dreamy thoughtful eyes. Then she got up +from her seat.</p> + +<p>"I don't like long sermons, though I asked you to give me one, but I've +had more than enough. Enough to think over and act up to, and perhaps +one day thank you for! Isn't it like you, not to give me one little +word of pity or of kindness, only stringent, pungent words bracing me +to endure?"</p> + +<p>Thorold had risen from his seat at the same time she had, now he turned +abruptly to the window. His heart was hammering against his side, +his whole soul was longing to take the girl into his arms and keep +her there. He did not know when or how she had stolen her way to his +heart, but she was enshrined there now, and he, in his old-fashioned, +self-sacrificing way was daily trying to persuade himself that he was +too old and dull a personage to mate with such a fresh young flower of +youth.</p> + +<p>When he could gain command of his feelings, he turned back and faced +Gentian, who was regarding him with wistful, puzzled eyes.</p> + +<p>"I do feel for you very much," he said, but his words fell coldly on +the ears of the warmhearted girl. "I hurried off to you as soon as I +could leave my young brother. I am only so sorry that I could not have +been with you sooner."</p> + +<p>"Are you going back to him?"</p> + +<p>"No; he is coming down to me, as soon as he leaves hospital."</p> + +<p>"To the Rectory?"</p> + +<p>"No, I have taken rooms near. He asked to be remembered to you."</p> + +<p>"Thank you."</p> + +<p>"I was to tell you how he sympathizes with you, and that his mind and +heart is as it was. He has not changed."</p> + +<p>Gentian smiled, then impulsively she laid her hand on Thorold's coat +sleeve.</p> + +<p>"Do be nice and ask me down to Cornwall before he comes. I want to +see your mine, and the Rectory, and—and Miss Frances Muir, your +goddaughter, and the house you think of living in."</p> + +<p>"I should like you to see it all," said Thorold heartily; "and as Mrs. +Wharnecliffe wants to do so too, I'll ask her to bring you with her. If +I take the house, I want her advice about the interior decorations. It +has been owned by an old man who let it go to pieces, and it needs a +lot of repairs."</p> + +<p>Kate, the little maid, here interrupted them by saying that lunch was +ready, and Gentian was soon presiding over some mutton chops and apple +tart. She could eat little herself, but she seemed brighter and more +like her old self, and Thorold tried to interest her in Gibraltar, and +told her about the friends Godwin had there. He did not stay long. When +the meal was over, he got up to go and asked her as he was leaving if +she would not go to the Miss Buchans for a time.</p> + +<p>"It is not only for your benefit, but for theirs; you could make Miss +Anne's life much happier and brighter by being with her. There is +nothing like interest in others for easing heart-ache."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'll go. I suppose I must. And is this dear little house to be +empty again?"</p> + +<p>"Shut it up! Consider it still yours, and leave all your belongings in +it. Come to it when you want to rummage about."</p> + +<p>"Thank you for that small mercy. And the quarterly cheque to the bank +must stop. I only go to Miss Anne on that condition."</p> + +<p>"Very well."</p> + +<p>Then, as he held out his hand to her in farewell greeting, he said:</p> + +<p>"Do you remember saying to me in a letter that you wanted to do +something that would call out all the powers of your soul as well as of +your body? Don't you think the illness and loss of your friend has done +this?"</p> + +<p>"Ah no, indeed! It hasn't. I have failed, entirely failed."</p> + +<p>Tears came to her eyes with a rush. She let them brim over.</p> + +<p>"But I'll try. I'll remember all you've said. The Catacombs, and +the knife, and the waterproof. I'll go over and over them till I've +impressed my subconscious self with them, and they remain with me for +ever. Good-bye, Cousin Thor, and I'm coming down to Cornwall very +soon. Tell Mrs. Wharnecliffe to let me know when she goes. And think +of me sorting out Miss Anne's wools, and getting her footstools and +reading out very goody and improving books; and in the evening, playing +backgammon and card games, and hiding my yawns and my weariness behind +a very smiling countenance."</p> + +<p>"I shall think of you at the piano transporting a weary woman to +the realms of light and beauty—and driving her out, with the spring +awaking all around you. There is much happiness still in store for +you—good-bye."</p> + +<p>He was gone, and Gentian turned back into the empty house with a +feeling of warmth and comfort in her heart that she had not experienced +since Miss Ward had left her.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_11">CHAPTER XI</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A VISIT TO CORNWALL</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>LIFE at the moment with the Miss Buchans was at first rather irksome, +but Gentian's nature had its compensation. If she suffered intensely, +she enjoyed intensely, and the little things of life laid hold of her +with an absorbing interest. Miss Horatia's horses and a couple of young +terriers were a perpetual joy to her. One morning Miss Horatia saw +Gentian mounted on one of her hunters which the groom was exercising. +The audacity of it amused her, but when she came to breakfast she took +the girl to task for her rashness.</p> + +<p>"If you want to learn to ride, practise on old Sophy, the grey mare. I +don't want you to break your neck. Rufus is not fit for a novice."</p> + +<p>"I only walked him up and down the avenue. I was out playing with the +dogs, and I couldn't resist mounting when he came by with an empty +saddle on him. Green says I've a born seat on horseback. Do you mind? I +ought to have asked your permission."</p> + +<p>"I won't have you ride my hunters," said Miss Horatia good-naturedly; +"but you can ride out on Sophy if you like."</p> + +<p>Gentian flushed with pleasure. Every morning before breakfast she +accompanied the groom when he exercised the horses. There was a burst +of warm weather, and the hunting had stopped. After breakfast she went +up to Miss Anne's room and read and worked with her, writing some of +her letters, and occasionally going to the town to pay her bills, or to +shop for her. In the afternoon the car was taken out.</p> + +<p>And after tea Gentian was allowed a couple of hours to herself. They +dined at half-past seven, and music and games were the order of most +evenings. Gentian would fly over and pay Mrs. Wharnecliffe a visit +sometimes, and when Sir Gilbert was home again, she went over to him. +Once a week she had her organ practices, for she resumed her organist's +duties on Sundays at the little church, and always put fresh flowers on +the new grave in the little churchyard.</p> + +<p>Very slowly peace was returning to her heart. A long talk with Sir +Gilbert had completed what Thorold had commenced. Gentian could look +up now and take courage. A sharp attack of gout, which laid Mr. +Wharnecliffe up, prevented his wife from going to Cornwall as soon +as she had intended. Gentian was disappointed, but she had learnt to +control her feelings.</p> + +<p>The Miss Buchans were kind, and treated her quite as one of the family, +but their surprised faces when Gentian at first burst into one of her +tirades, showed her that she must put a curb upon her tongue. It was +discipline to which she was not accustomed. She relieved her feelings +by writing long letters to Thorold.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "I don't care whether you answer me or not, and I give you leave to +tear my letters up directly you have read them, but I have no Waddy +now, and I simply must pour out my heart to some one. You would not +know me. So meek, so quiet, so gentle of tongue am I, so serene and +unaware of all vexations and annoyances! That is the outside me. But +the inside! Ah! It is a boiling cauldron, and a mass of contradictions, +whims and whamsies.<br> +<br> + "I am learning to ride; it is kind of Miss Horatia to let me. I work +off a good many tempers and moods when I am jogging along the roads +with Green, the groom. But when we get to a bit of grass we have a good +canter, and away fly all my black shadows and rebellious feelings! I +come back to the house ready for anything!"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And then one morning Mrs. Wharnecliffe arrived at the Mount asking the +Miss Buchans if they would allow Gentian to come with her the next day +to Cornwall.</p> + +<p>"We shall only be away the week-end. I am going to put up at the small +inn at Perrancombe. And I shall go down in the car; the trains are so +tedious."</p> + +<p>Miss Anne said she would be willing to spare Gentian, and so it was +settled and the girl went about the house with such a radiant face that +Miss Horatia chaffed her about it.</p> + +<p>"I thought you and Thorold Holt were always sparring with one another. +You have told me that you did not like his interference. Is it a case +of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?"</p> + +<p>"It isn't altogether him," said Gentian confusedly; "it's the sea, and +the mines, and the Cornish people I want to see. Besides, it's a trip +to an unknown place, and I always love that!"</p> + +<p>Then she added with her natural truthfulness:</p> + +<p>"I feel differently about Cousin Thor now; he's a link with the +past—the only link I have; every one has been swept away from me. He's +always a kind of buffer to me, and I miss him. And he has been very +kind to me, hasn't he? I came to England a stranger. Now dear Waddy has +gone, I feel stranger than ever. There isn't a person in the whole wide +world who really belongs to me. How would you feel if you were I?"</p> + +<p>"You'll be able to remedy that one day," said Miss Horatia.</p> + +<p>Miss Anne looked horrified at the insinuation, and Gentian laughed her +merry laugh.</p> + +<p>"I'm not in a hurry to belong to a stranger," she said.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day came, and proved ideal for motoring. A bright blue sky, +and very little wind. Mrs. Wharnecliffe called for Gentian at ten +o'clock. They sped swiftly along and were both rather silent at first. +Then Gentian began to talk.</p> + +<p>"Do you think it would be impossible for me to live with Cousin Thor +and keep his house for him? He would look after me so very well. You +don't seem to like the idea of my living alone, and I do want a home. +I've always had one. It's all very well being with the Miss Buchans for +a time, but I shan't be able to keep on doing it for ever. I cry over +it when I'm in bed at night. I never felt lonely when Waddy was alive. +I knew she would never leave me, but I'm desperately lonely now."</p> + +<p>"My poor child!" said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, laying her hand softly on the +girl's arm. "I was hoping you were settling down happily. You have your +riding to interest you, and it is a busy, useful life for you."</p> + +<p>"Tell me, if Cousin Thor takes this house, couldn't I live with him in +it? I should love to look after him; he never looks after himself."</p> + +<p>"No; I don't think that plan would work at all," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe +decidedly. "He has never expressed a wish to have you, has he?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no. I would go like a shot if he did."</p> + +<p>Gentian gave a sigh, then brightened up.</p> + +<p>"Shall I sound him on the subject, or will you?"</p> + +<p>"Thorold has been too long a bachelor to like a woman in his house. She +would embarrass him and be in his way. I tried for a long time to get +him a lady housekeeper, but he would not have it."</p> + +<p>"I dare say," said Gentian gloomily, "that this Miss Muir will marry +him. I don't think he is a bit too old to be married. And a wife would +soon get him out of his old-fashioned bachelor ways."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe could not help laughing. Gentian still talked at +times like a child. She turned the conversation to other subjects, and +Thorold was not mentioned again.</p> + +<p>They arrived at Launceston about two o'clock, and had lunch at an +hotel there. It was between four and five when they reached their +destination. Gentian was charmed with the village in a wooded valley +that ran down to the sea. They heard the thunder and roar of the surf +breaking over the rocks before they came in sight of it. The church +was perched on a hill, and they turned, up a steep lane to get to the +Rectory which was close to it. Just as they came up to a big iron gate +set in the middle of two granite walls, Thorold himself appeared.</p> + +<p>"I've been looking for you for the last hour," he said: "have you had +lunch?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, at Launceston. We've seen no sign of the inn, so came on to ask +you where it was."</p> + +<p>"It isn't in the village, which is good, for you will be quieter away +from the fisher-folk. It is five minutes' drive from here on the high +road which leads across the moor."</p> + +<p>"Come in, and we'll drive on together."</p> + +<p>Thorold slipped into the front seat by the chauffeur, then he looked +back at Gentian and smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"How do you like Cornwall?"</p> + +<p>"It's rather bare and wind-swept," said Gentian, "but the sun on the +sea reminds me of Italy."</p> + +<p>"If we follow this line along, we shall come to the house I want you to +look at, but we'll find the inn first."</p> + +<p>It was a very small place when they reached it—but it looked clean, +and there were flowers in the small garden behind it, which delighted +Gentian's heart.</p> + +<p>They put up the car, then sat down and had tea together. Thorold +told them that his friend the Rector had hoped to give them tea—but +Mrs. Wharnecliffe was tired and wanted a rest. Motoring was not the +exhilarating experience to her that it was to Gentian.</p> + +<p>But in an hour's time she declared she was ready for a walk, and they +sauntered through a sheltered lane which twisted and turned continually +till Gentian said it made her quite giddy. Thorold was able to give +them a good deal of information about his mine. Work was beginning, and +he was very hopeful of the result.</p> + +<p>"Is it tin or copper?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"Tin," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>"No radium about it?"</p> + +<p>He laughed.</p> + +<p>"No, that is only obtainable in the china clay. I am not going to make +my fortune over this, Lallie."</p> + +<p>"If you did, you would only give it away twenty-four hours after you +had got it," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>Gentian was rather silent, listening to the talk but not joining in it. +Presently they came in sight of a clump of pines, then a white gate was +seen, and Thorold told them that this was the little house he wished +them to see. They glided down a drive bordered by high tamarisk hedges, +then came to a fair-sized shrubbery of rhododendrons and azaleas, with +a background of trees, and then swept round to the front of the house.</p> + +<p>"What a little darling!" exclaimed Gentian.</p> + +<p>It was a solid granite house with a slate roof, but it was covered from +end to end with creepers. Jasmine and rose, and the sweet-smelling +stentonia, and a big magnolia hid the grey walls from view. There was a +neglected lawn in front of it, with an old sundial in the middle, but +when Gentian jumped out of the car and stood on the doorstep, she gave +an exclamation of surprise and delight.</p> + +<p>The lawn sloped down to green cornfields, and at the bottom of them +lay the blue, shining sea. No trees hid the ocean from their eyes. The +Cornish coast-line stretched away on the right. To the left against the +sky-line was Rame Head, and nearer Tregantle Fort could be dimly seen.</p> + +<p>The house was small and very old. There were casement windows, and the +square stone hall was dark. An old staircase, with solid oak stairs, +went up in the middle of it.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe looked about her, then opened a door at the back of +the hall and found it led out into a square paved court.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, "you must have glass panels in this door to let the +light in, Thorold, and turn this little courtyard into a conservatory. +What is the aspect?"</p> + +<p>"East," said Thorold. "Frances Muir suggested a Dutch garden here."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Gentian quickly; "then she's been over the house with you?"</p> + +<p>"She's known this house all her life," Thorold responded.</p> + +<p>Gentian said no more, but her quick eyes were taking everything in. She +liked the old-fashioned kitchen and dairies; there were two rooms on +each side of the front door, and a third sitting-room in a side wing. +Upstairs there were five good-sized bedrooms and some attics. Gentian +danced in and out of the empty rooms in her light-hearted fashion; +she loved the oak panelling in the dining-room, and the deep window +recesses. Mrs. Wharnecliffe signified her approval of the house as a +whole.</p> + +<p>"A man won't find it lonely," she said, "but if you were bringing a +wife here, I shouldn't be so content, for I think she would get the +blues. Have you no neighbours?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, within driving distance. Do you think it gloomy?"</p> + +<p>He turned to Gentian.</p> + +<p>"Now it is empty it is, but it won't be when it is furnished," said +Gentian, looking about her with dreamy eyes. "I can see it with wood +fires and thick curtains, and music, and books, and flowers."</p> + +<p>Then she laughed.</p> + +<p>"And you in it, Cousin Thor, moving about in your serene, cheerful way, +never ruffled if the soot fell down the chimney and the water-pipes +leaked and the fires smoked. Are you going to keep a car?"</p> + +<p>"No, I'm thinking of a horse."</p> + +<p>"And a man and his wife to look after you," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. +"Thorold, I am afraid you will be buried alive here."</p> + +<p>He smiled and shook his head.</p> + +<p>"I have too many people to consider and to help."</p> + +<p>"Now let us come to your repairs," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "Of course, +you must cut down your creepers, and one or two trees that are too +close to the house, and the shrubberies want cutting back. I should +put a south window in the biggest sitting-room which faces west, then +you'll get plenty of sunshine."</p> + +<p>She went through the rooms again, discussing many possible +improvements. Gentian left them and wandered round the neglected +garden. She followed a little path through the shrubbery which led her +to a rising knoll on which was a seat looking seawards. She sat down +and lapsed into day dreams.</p> + +<p>"I must be getting very old," she mused; "I feel as if I want to settle +down somewhere and stay there. I don't want to career about the world +any more. How peaceful it is here!"</p> + +<p>A thrush was singing in the bushes close to her; there was a sweet +scent of syringa which was not far away; and as she raised her head she +heard a lark singing in the cornfields. A moment after steps approached +her. It was Thorold.</p> + +<p>"I have tracked you at last," he said. "Mrs. Wharnecliffe is on her way +back to the inn; I told her we would follow. What do you think of the +view from here?"</p> + +<p>"I think it is heavenly."</p> + +<p>He sat down on the seat beside her.</p> + +<p>"To-morrow you must come and see the mine. I am in two minds about +taking this house. Dick Muir and his daughter advised me against it. +They want me to remain on with them indefinitely, or else build on a +site which Dick can let me have, but I don't care about doing that. I +would rather take rooms in the village where Godwin was. I don't feel +like starting another house just yet. The mine is a speculation. I may +lose all my money over it."</p> + +<p>"And then you would be a pauper like me," said Gentian cheerfully; "I +wonder how you would like that."</p> + +<p>"I have gone through poverty, child."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I forgot. Forgive me. And I hope with all my heart that your mine +will succeed. I think I would take the house, Cousin Thor, and then you +could invite Mrs. Wharnecliffe and me down to visit you. I would like +to come alone best, but Mrs. Wharnecliffe won't let me hint at such a +thing! I can't fancy you in lodgings; you've always had a nice home. I +only wish I could get the chance of having one."</p> + +<p>Then she stole a look at him through her long eyelashes.</p> + +<p>"I heard from Jim Paget the other day. He's been over the Rocky +Mountains and now is on his way home. He would give me a home, any day. +I might do worse than have him, but I'm afraid we should fight like +cat and dog. Still, I would have a house of my own, and I should love +furnishing it and arranging rooms."</p> + +<p>"Don't marry for a home," said Thorold gravely. "The man must come +first. You would have a miserable life if you did not care for your +husband."</p> + +<p>"Do you think so? It's a funny world. Things happen so contrary. He +likes me, and I don't like him, and yet I may meet somebody else whom +I shall like and he won't like me. I somehow feel as if I shall never +have just what I want. And I think I'm getting dull and old, and I +shan't be at all likeable when my teeth and hair fall out."</p> + +<p>Thorold threw his head back with his quick laugh, as he did when she +amused him.</p> + +<p>"Cheer up, you are not so very ancient yet."</p> + +<p>"Tell me truthfully, do you think I shall make any man a bad wife?"</p> + +<p>Thorold turned to her. Something in his eyes made Gentian catch her +breath. He was about to speak, when round the corner of the shrubbery +path appeared Miss Frances Muir.</p> + +<p>She greeted them delightedly.</p> + +<p>"Here you are! I've been scouring the village for you, for I heard Mrs. +Wharnecliffe, your friend, had returned to the inn. How do you do, Miss +Brendon? We met in Edinburgh, didn't we? How are your old ladies? I +thought them so quaint, especially the horsey one."</p> + +<p>"They are quite well, thank you."</p> + +<p>Gentian's tone was stiff; she resented the Miss Buchans being +criticized.</p> + +<p>"Now, Mr. Holt, you must come home at once. Your manager is at our +house waiting to see you. It's something about the mine, some of the +machinery has gone wrong."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Thorold, with a concerned face. "Then my fears are realized. +Gentian, I'm afraid I must leave you. Explain it to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. +I hope to take you over the mine to-morrow, but I must go off with +Dormer at once."</p> + +<p>"I'll take Miss Brendon to the church," said Frances Muir, "that is, +if she is not in a hurry to return to her friend. What do you think of +this little house?"</p> + +<p>"I like it," said Gentian. "I'm in no hurry at all, and should like to +see the church. Has it a nice organ?"</p> + +<p>Thorold smiled.</p> + +<p>"It has a wheezy old harmonium, that is all," he said.</p> + +<p>"It is awful, isn't it?" said Miss Muir. "But I'm not musical, I don't +know one note from another. Our little schoolmistress plays it."</p> + +<p>They were walking along the lane at a good brisk pace, then Thorold +turned up one road and they took another. Gentian was quiet and grave, +as she usually was when she did not feel sure of a person.</p> + +<p>Miss Muir did most of the talking.</p> + +<p>"Dad is so delighted to have Mr. Holt down here. It's making him quite +young again, but we don't approve of that house for him. It's too +desolate and lonely. I'm not going to let him take it if I can help it. +And he would be better the other side of the village near his mine."</p> + +<p>"If I had a mine, I wouldn't want it just outside my windows," said +Gentian, "and Cousin Thor is accustomed to a nice house and has always +lived alone. There aren't any other empty houses about are there?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, he could build. I love planning houses; I always think I should +have made a good architect. He and I spend our evenings in drawing out +plans. I have a lovely one just completed, that would suit all his +requirements."</p> + +<p>"I hate new houses," said Gentian shortly, "they have no tradition or +atmosphere."</p> + +<p>"But you won't be asked to live in it," said Miss Muir laughing.</p> + +<p>Gentian spoke with real temper now:</p> + +<p>"Can't one like or dislike things for one's friends without being +involved in them personally? I don't think I'll go to the church now, +thank you. I'll wait till Cousin Thor can take me. Here's the inn, +good-bye."</p> + +<p>She flashed away from Miss Muir like a bright meteor, and burst in upon +Mrs. Wharnecliffe in impetuous fashion.</p> + +<p>"I dislike Miss Muir very much; I think I hate her," she announced, +flinging her gloves down on the table, and facing her friend with hard, +defiant eyes.</p> + +<p>"What is the matter?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe with a smile.</p> + +<p>"Oh, she's what people call 'catty.' She gives herself airs, and thinks +she's going to frame Cousin Thor to her liking."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps she will," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe slowly; "perhaps Thorold has +met his fate in this little Cornish village."</p> + +<p>"I wish him a better fate than that conceited girl," snapped out +Gentian. "I don't believe he likes her a bit. I shall ask him. Fancy! +She doesn't know one note of music from another and doesn't care! +Boasts of it! A person without any love for music is a person without a +soul!"</p> + +<p>"My dear Gentian, don't get so hot over her."</p> + +<p>"But, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, why should she take possession of him as she's +doing? He never knew her before he came here, she's not going to let +him take that house, she says. She wants to build him one of her own +planning."</p> + +<p>"Thorold is not a weak boy, my dear Gentian. He will please himself. +He is a man who has decided opinions of his own, and is not easily +influenced by others, as I have found to my cost."</p> + +<p>"No," said Gentian, suddenly becoming quiet and rather despondent, +"he's like a granite wall, and if you beat your head against him, +you'll only break it, and not hurt him. Sometimes I think Cousin Thor +has no feeling at all! Just once—now and then—very seldom, his eyes +betray him!"</p> + +<p>She stopped herself and relapsed into silence. What did that look +of his mean? And what was he going to say when Miss Muir had so +inopportunely interrupted them?</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe glanced at her anxiously. She never could understand +the girl, but she was fond of her. Her contradictions moods and +irrelevant talk bewildered her. What a creature of impulse she was! +Even her late sorrow had not steadied her, and yet how nobly she had +stood by her sick friend in her last illness! How wonderfully patient +and capable she had become!</p> + +<p>"I think, my dear, you had better go and change your dress. Dinner is +at the early hour of seven here. Thorold was to dine with us. Where has +he gone?"</p> + +<p>"Off to his old mine. There's something gone wrong."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe sighed. "I always feel he will ruin himself over this +project. It is such a risk!"</p> + +<p>Gentian left the room, murmuring to herself: "If she hadn't interrupted +us! Oh, if she only hadn't!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_12">CHAPTER XII</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THOROLD'S SECRET</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THOROLD appeared just in time for dinner, which was served in a quaint +coffee-room overlooking the garden.</p> + +<p>Gentian, in a filmy black gown which accentuated the fairness of her +neck and arms, began the meal in a quiet, pensive mood. She let Mrs. +Wharnecliffe and Thorold do most of the conversation, and listened to +Thorold's account of some of the difficulties which now beset him.</p> + +<p>"I think we shall get over the present difficulty," he said. "We have +been trying to adapt some of the old machinery; it means a good bit of +extra expense to have new, but we must do so. I have been wondering +whether I have brought you down on a fool's errand, for I doubt if it +will be wise for me at present to take that house. I must go slowly."</p> + +<p>"You must live somewhere," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"A single man doesn't need so much accommodation."</p> + +<p>"Miss Muir doesn't want you to go there," struck in Gentian with rather +a sharp tone in her voice; "she wants you to build one close to the +Rectory and the mine."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Thorold, with a smile; "Frances thinks I should be too far +away from my work."</p> + +<p>"As if you're going to work in the mine!" said Gentian a little +scornfully. Then the dimples came into her cheeks and she gave a little +laugh.</p> + +<p>"You are becoming like me, Cousin Thor. You're a wobbler. You actually +can't make up your mind. I never knew you had it in you to hesitate or +to change."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I hesitate about lots of things," Thorold replied promptly; "it's +only when we're very young that we're very sure."</p> + +<p>"Well, that isn't a hit at me, for I'm never sure of anything, except +what I want to do at the moment. But I'd like to know what kind of +things you wobble about."</p> + +<p>Thorold looked at her with his whimsical smile.</p> + +<p>"I have considerable hesitation about you and your welfare very often," +he said.</p> + +<p>Gentian looked dumbfounded.</p> + +<p>"Do you think about me very much, Cousin Thor?" she asked demurely.</p> + +<p>"Really, Gentian," expostulated Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "We've wandered away +from our subject of the house. Suppose we get back to that. Where do +you propose living, Thorold? I hope you won't build."</p> + +<p>"No, a new house is perfectly hateful," said Gentian; "I told Miss Muir +so. I should be sorry to live in a house of her planning. She has no +sense of beauty."</p> + +<p>"She's a very clever girl," said Thorold. "Aren't you judging her +rather hastily? About the house: I have the first refusal of it, and I +think in two or three months' time, I shall know how the mine is going +and be better able to judge what I can afford. I shall take rooms in +the village."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian quickly; "if you stay on at the Rectory you'll +lose all independence. Miss Muir will manage you and all your affairs +completely."</p> + +<p>Thorold shook his head.</p> + +<p>"A good many people have tried to manage me in my life. We'll except +the present company! But it is an experience to which I am well +accustomed, and it doesn't trouble me in the least."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe laughed.</p> + +<p>"We need not have an uneasy thought about him, Gentian. As I told you +he is well able to look after himself. Now don't you think we could +have a walk as it is such a lovely evening? Is the tide in or out? Let +us go down to the sea."</p> + +<p>"It is out, I think," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Run and put a warm wrap on, Gentian," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "I have +a much thicker gown than you. We will wait for you in the verandah."</p> + +<p>As the girl disappeared, Mrs. Wharnecliffe took hold of Thorold by the +arm.</p> + +<p>"Now come along, I want to talk to you. I am anxious about this child. +Your Rector wants the little Vicarage house for a new-married curate +who is going to be in charge of the church. I haven't told Gentian, for +I know the outcry she will make. She cannot live there alone, and you +must let the Rector have it. It will be a way out of the difficulty. +I have some empty attics where she can store her boxes and things. It +is very difficult to know what to do with her. I don't believe she'll +go on living with the Miss Buchans year in and year out, she'll be too +dull there. And she's not the sort of girl to be knocking about the +world on her own."</p> + +<p>"It will be a blow to her," said Thorold, looking grave. "She tells me +that young fellow Jim Paget is on her track again. Coming back, isn't +he? He may induce her to listen to him this time."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe shook her head.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could think so, but I'm sure she won't have him. She ought to +marry. I think she might develop into a good little wife."</p> + +<p>There was silence between them for a moment or two. Then Mrs. +Wharnecliffe said slowly:</p> + +<p>"Thorold, have you ever thought that she may be caring for you?"</p> + +<p>Thorold was just lighting his pipe. He let it slip through his fingers, +and fall with a clatter on the ground.</p> + +<p>"Caring for me," he said, stooping down to pick up his pipe; "what +nonsense! I think she may like me better than she did, but she looks +upon me as her elderly guardian—offered to come and keep house for me!"</p> + +<p>His face was a dull red as he raised himself, but Mrs. Wharnecliffe's +quick eyes noted his confusion.</p> + +<p>"There's not much disparity in your ages. You are not elderly, Thorold. +You are in the prime of life. I may be wrong. She is childishly jealous +of Frances Muir, but, of course, that may be because she likes to come +first with you."</p> + +<p>"It would be wicked," muttered Thorold, "to tie her up to an old fogy +like me."</p> + +<p>"Gentian would not do anything she did not want to do."</p> + +<p>"But she's in a dangerous state now. She wants a home. She might do +anything to get one. I would not take advantage of a child like that +for all the world."</p> + +<p>"Thorold!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe pressed his arm. "You love her!"</p> + +<p>"I adore her!" he said, with a quick-caught breath, and then he tried +to relight his pipe with nervous, trembling fingers.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe drew a long sigh.</p> + +<p>"Well, it has come to you at last," she said; "now don't spoil your +life and hers by stupid bashfulness and false modesty. You have a great +deal to offer her. A clear, upright, honourable record, a comfortable +home, and a love—well, I won't say more on that point, but any girl +would be lucky with you for a husband, Thorold. I don't say she is good +enough for you, but she's a fascinating little soul, and where she +loves, she'll love to distraction. You won't have a dull moment with +her, I know that, and I believe she'll develop into something grand and +good, by and by."</p> + +<p>"You've forced my confidence," Thorold said; "respect it and say no +more. I'm not in a position to offer anyone a home until I see how the +mine is going. And I can't believe, and I don't believe, that she would +listen to me for a moment."</p> + +<p>"Who won't listen to you?" asked a gay voice behind them.</p> + +<p>It was Gentian, of course. She did not wait for an answer but slipped +her arm into Mrs. Wharnecliffe's.</p> + +<p>"Now let us sally forth," she said, "to see the wonders of the ocean +shore."</p> + +<p>There was no lack of conversation between the three of them, though +Thorold was the one who spoke least. Mrs. Wharnecliffe talked eagerly, +almost feverishly, and Gentian was her own gay chattering little self. +It was a good walk from the inn to the fishing village, which was most +picturesque. Like many of the Cornish fishing villages, the houses were +placed at all angles, one above the other, with quaint cobbled paths +twisting and turning in every direction, and rough stone steps up and +down to the beach and cliffs. They came down to a stone bridge across +the river, and here in the middle they turned their backs to the sea +and looked along the wooded valley with the shining river winding its +way at the bottom.</p> + +<p>The sun was getting low, and sending its golden rays across the water. +Gentian leant her arms on the stone wall and gazed dreamily in front of +her.</p> + +<p>"This is sweet," she murmured. "I don't think England's beauty spots +are distributed fairly. River and woods are enough without the sea."</p> + +<p>They turned round and walked on, past a row of old-fashioned shops +facing the river, and then eventually found themselves on the sea +front. Fishermen lounged about smoking their pipes, or tinkering at +their boats. The tide was out. Across the short strip of sand in front +of them and the grey rocks that stretched away to the cliff the golden +sunshine was sending its long slanting rays. Away on the horizon were +the fishing smacks starting for their night's fishing. Gentian looked +at it all with interest and delight.</p> + +<p>Then she slipped her hand into Thorold's arm.</p> + +<p>"Let's walk down to the sea," she said, "it's too far off from us here."</p> + +<p>"I think I shall sit down here," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, sinking on +one of the wooden seats near her; "don't be too long, for when the sun +sets, it will be chilly."</p> + +<p>Thorold and Gentian walked across the sand until they came to the +ocean. Only rippling waves disturbed the silence.</p> + +<p>"I like this," Gentian said contentedly. "I should like to live by the +sea. It always brings peace to me. It reminds me of the sea in Italy. +How far is the mine from here?"</p> + +<p>"Quite five miles. It is inland. The Rectory is a good mile and a half +from us here."</p> + +<p>"And do your miners live in these dear little houses?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no. This is entirely a fisher population. There is a small hamlet +near the mine where they will congregate; but a good many come by the +train along the light railway from other villages. Every day I have +applicants from all parts. It's extraordinary how news flies. I hope I +shall be able to give them all work."</p> + +<p>"I wish you could give me work," said Gentian, turning a face that +was a mixture of wistfulness and mischief up to his. "I shall soon +be unemployed again, I feel it in my bones. And I am not a very +satisfactory companion to an indoors lady. Fancy! The other day I was +saying how much I should love to hunt next winter, and Miss Horatia +laughed and didn't seem against the idea, when Miss Anne drew herself +up as if I had quite shocked her,—</p> + +<p>"'That is hardly one of the duties of a lady's companion,' she said.</p> + +<p>"So I was angry, of course, and I said quickly: 'I am only a temporary +companion. I may end it any day,'</p> + +<p>"And then Miss Anne said very sweetly: 'I think it would be your loss, +if you did so.'</p> + +<p>"Now do you think that quite nice of her? She tries to keep me in my +place; but somehow bubble up away from it—and any day may bring a +crisis."</p> + +<p>"I agree with Miss Anne," said Thorold gravely; "that it will be your +loss if you lose such a comfortable home."</p> + +<p>"Now, Cousin Thor, do you think it is a home to me? How can it be? I +have lost my home, and I have lost the love and care that went with +it. I am hedged about with convention and duties and restrictions. I +must be punctual and tidy and meek, and always must be at the beck +and call of a very kind mistress certainly, but a very old-fashioned, +punctilious lady."</p> + +<p>"Do you want to go through life only pleasing yourself, and satisfying +your own desires?"</p> + +<p>"Now you're getting into the stern old martinet you were when I first +knew you! You have been much kinder lately. I don't always want to +please myself. There are some people that I would like to do anything +for—I think I might be willing to die for them!"</p> + +<p>Thorold's eyes twinkled as he looked at her.</p> + +<p>"We'll hope that won't be necessary at your time of life," he said.</p> + +<p>She was standing very close to him as she spoke; now she moved away +with a dignified air.</p> + +<p>"You like to laugh at me," she said. "You never take me in earnest, you +treat me like a child, and now Waddy has left me I feel a hundred years +old, as if my whole future life is my own responsibility, and I get +frightened. I have no money at my back, and very few friends. I don't +think you or Mrs. Wharnecliffe would let me starve, but then if I went +away from you, you might not know. I sometimes wonder if I could earn +my living in London by my music. I'll talk to Jim Paget about it when +he comes over. He knows a lot of people in London."</p> + +<p>Thorold's brows grew rather threatening.</p> + +<p>"No," he said quickly; "don't do that. When you feel you must have a +change of employment, tell me. I promise I will help you."</p> + +<p>"I don't feel very sure of you down here," said Gentian, looking at +him with earnest eyes. "I'm so afraid you will marry Miss Frances +Muir! There! I know I ought not to say so, but somehow with you I +must unburden myself. And if you marry her, you won't care about me +any more. You'll forget all about me—and she—Miss Muir—will keep you +from having anything to do with me—I know her kind. I don't like +her and she doesn't like me. We are natural—what is the word? Not +enemies—antagonists. Why are you laughing?"</p> + +<p>"I can't help being amused at your matchmaking propensities. Am I so +very susceptible to female charm? Haven't you always considered me a +thorough old bachelor? We are talking nonsense, let us come back to +Mrs. Wharnecliffe."</p> + +<p>He turned; then, as Gentian seemed reduced to silence, he put his hand +on her shoulder.</p> + +<p>"Your future is not in your hands, child. A loving God is caring for +you. Leave it to Him, He makes no mistakes. That is one of the facts +that strengthen with years."</p> + +<p>She did not speak. Her eyes filled with tears. She was very silent for +the rest of the evening. Thorold left them as soon as he had taken them +back to the hotel, promising to be with them again at ten o'clock the +next morning, when Mrs. Wharnecliffe's car would take them to the mine.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And the next day dawned brilliantly. Blue sky, and no wind, the sea lay +calm and still as a mill pond. They caught the glimpses of it as they +sped up and down hill through the Cornish lanes.</p> + +<p>Gentian was her bright self again, and keenly interested in all the +working of the mine. She was very disappointed that she was not allowed +to go down into it. She talked to the manager, and to every miner that +she came across, and bewildered them by her questions and inquiries.</p> + +<p>Later on, Thorold took them to see a row of cottages which were just +being built. Gentian did not think much of the hamlet, but loved its +quaint name, which was Menabockle. She spoke to a woman who stood at a +cottage door.</p> + +<p>"Aren't you very happy to have the mine working again?"</p> + +<p>"'Twill give work to many," said the woman with a smile.</p> + +<p>"Yes, and you're lucky to have Mr. Holt owning it. If you're in +trouble, he'll get you out of it by hook or crook. He was born to do +that, I believe."</p> + +<p>She nodded and smiled and passed on. Only the woman caught her +words. Thorold was busy talking to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. He was bent on +reassuring her about his venture.</p> + +<p>"It is a risk, of course, but all here know that tin is to be found; +and the mine stopped working through want of capital to carry it on. Be +patient, and you'll see that I have not wasted my money."</p> + +<p>"Why need you be on the spot always?" asked Gentian. "When it's once +started, can't your manager carry it on?"</p> + +<p>"If the owners had lived on the spot before, it would have been better +for their mines. Managers are not infallible. Besides, I want to know +the people. I am going to start a small institute or club for the young +men and boys. I am full of ideas from which I want practical results."</p> + +<p>"And what about the house?" asked Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"Just for the present, we'll leave it. As I said before, I have the +first refusal of it. But I'm thankful for your suggestions and advice."</p> + +<p>He returned to the inn with them and they had lunch together. They had +hardly finished the meal before Thorold's friend, the Rector of the +parish, and his daughter appeared.</p> + +<p>Mr. Muir was a tall, stalwart man, with a cheerful face and breezy +manner. He was very disappointed to hear that Mrs. Wharnecliffe was +returning home immediately.</p> + +<p>"We quite hoped you would dine with us to-night, or at least, come up +and have a 'dish o' tay,' as our Cornish folk say. Do you approve of +this Cornish benefactor?" He laid his hand on Thorold's shoulder as he +spoke.</p> + +<p>"It's a doubtful experiment," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe gravely; "but +Thorold knows his own business best, and if his heart is in it, I +can but wish him good luck. I hope he will succeed where others have +failed."</p> + +<p>"It's going to be a huge success," said Frances enthusiastically. "Mr. +Holt always succeeds in everything he puts his hand to, now does he +not?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled.</p> + +<p>"He gets his own way with people as a rule."</p> + +<p>Thorold looked across at Gentian with his humorous smile.</p> + +<p>"Do you endorse that?" he asked.</p> + +<p>She nodded.</p> + +<p>"Yes, because you are so doggedly determined and persevering," she said.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Frances, "we all want him to have his own way down here. +There's no opposition from anyone. How could there be? We are most +keenly interested in what he is doing. And as for the people round, +they're wild with delight that the mines are going to be restarted."</p> + +<p>"The only thing that I don't like about them," said Gentian, "is the +mess they make of the country. They spoil the landscape, and foul the +air with blacks and dust."</p> + +<p>Frances' smile had a twinge of pity in it.</p> + +<p>"That is rather a narrow outlook," she said; "when you put against a +few acres of waste ground the employment and prosperity of hundreds of +living souls."</p> + +<p>Gentian was silent. She was glad when the car was announced, but vexed +that she and Mrs. Wharnecliffe should drive off leaving Thorold by the +side of the girl to whom she had taken such a hearty dislike.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_13">CHAPTER XIII</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A NEW FRIEND</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was not long after Gentian's return to the Miss Buchans that the +blow fell upon her about St. Anselm's Vicarage. Thorold wrote to her +himself about it, and Mrs. Wharnecliffe had her over for the day to +discuss plans. To her astonishment, Gentian took it very quietly.</p> + +<p>"I am not surprised. I have no right to a house. I have no money to +live there. I am alone in this grey old England. Cousin Thor gave it +more to Waddy than to me, and now she is gone I have no right to expect +that Cousin Thor should provide me with a house to keep my possessions +in. He did tell me that I could have it for a time, but now this curate +with his family wants it, and they will take possession of the darling +organ. It has all gone from me. I shall only have memories of it now."</p> + +<p>"You must look upon my house as your pied-à-terre, I won't say home, +for you have become such an independent young lady that you resent the +thought of any one taking care of you. But you know, dear, that you +will be always welcome, and that I am ready to help you in every way +possible."</p> + +<p>"You are very kind," said Gentian, looking at her with a deep gravity +in her blue starry eyes; "but I am learning to stand alone. I shall +have to do it, and the sooner I begin the better. I shall be very +grateful if you will store a few boxes for me. I haven't very many +worldly goods, have I? Only just some mementoes from my darling Italy, +and a few of my mother's treasures. I will write this evening and tell +Cousin Thor that I will clear out my things to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Thorold got her letter, and for some hours after receiving it, felt +distracted and disturbed.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR CORNISH BENEFACTOR,—<br> +<br> + "You have broken your news very softly. But I am ready to quit, as +the Americans would say, and shall march out with my head up, and my +tears locked down into a pool at the bottom of my heart. You have a +right to let your own house to anyone. I was only a charity pauper +whilst there. This isn't bitterness but fact, and never was a poor +orphan more kindly housed than I was. I knew when I turned the key in +the door and went off to the Miss Buchans that I should never go back +again. I felt it in my bones. Mrs. Wharnecliffe impressed upon me that +I could not live there alone. I knew that I had not enough money of my +own to feed myself and a chaperone, to say nothing of paying her to +dance attendance on me. So there we are. I feel I am growing wise and +old. That sunny chapter of my life is over. The clouds began to appear +when you took your departure, and when Waddy left me for good, the sun +disappeared altogether.<br> +<br> + "But, and this is a big But. I will print it in large letters, BUT, +I have I believe got my storm-proof and mackintosh on, and I'm assuring +myself over and over, that this fresh storm may beat about my feelings +and passions and hopes and desires, but can't reach my soul. I don't +forget your little sermon, you see. I've discovered one of the Bible's +secrets, that blessedness—that's happiness, is it not?—comes to those +who believe when they can't see. And then after I have thought over +that a good while, I give myself a pat on the shoulder and say, 'Your +future is not in your hands, child.' Only I can't give it quite the +nice kind of pat that you did.<br> +<br> + "Anyhow, I want you to be assured that I accept my fate with placidity, +and am still pursuing my daily rounds of duty combined with some small +bits of pleasure. I am getting quite a good rider. Now I know and share +Miss Horatia's feelings about cars. They're good to get to places, but +for enjoying the country they're not in it with a horse. She has taken +me for several long rides through lanes and woods where cars cannot go, +and if ever I become a rich woman, I will buy a horse and keep it till +I die.<br> +<br> + "I suppose Jim Paget would give me a horse if I married him. He has +written to-day to say he wants to see me, but I've put him off. I can't +see him here. It would be awkward, and Miss Anne told me to-day that +she's expecting a nephew of theirs from abroad to come and stay with +them. He is arriving to-morrow. Do you know him? His name is Vernon +Buchan. He is a great violinist and gives recitals in London. I am +anxious and excited to meet him. I do love anyone who loves music, don +t you? Miss Horatia rather sniffs when his name is mentioned. I don't +think she approves of him. She said straight out yesterday when Miss +Anne said how long it was since they had seen him:<br> +<br> + "'He is in want of something, my dear Anne, or he would not ask us to +have him.'<br> +<br> + "Miss Anne shook her head and looked at me. I pretended, of course, to +be engrossed in Miss Anne's knitting.<br> +<br> + "This evening Miss Anne asked me if I would like a few days' holiday. +I don't think she wants me to meet her nephew. Why? I have seen too many +men and musicians abroad to be unduly impressed by them. But of course +I said I could go to Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I think she will have me. I did +not know about it this afternoon when I was over there. And I can't +go to her to-morrow, so I shall have a glimpse of the nephew before I +disappear.<br> +<br> + "Oh, Cousin Thor, I am scribbling away like this to take my thoughts +off my unfortunate existence. Does anyone in the whole wide world +really want me, I wonder? I don't mean foolish creatures like Jim and +your Godwin who like the outside of me, and have no more ideas of my +real self than a cat has of a polar bear. Miss Anne, you see, can +dispense with my services very easily when she likes.<br> +<br> + "How is that darling little fishing village? I should like to own a +boat and turn myself into a fisher girl and sail away into the sunset +sky every evening, drawing my fishing net through the rippling water, +and watch the stars come out one by one and twinkle in a thousand +lights on the moonlit waves! I would be quite happy in one of those +queer little whitewashed houses with my chimney touching my neighbour's +doorstep above.<br> +<br> + "Good-bye, Guardian, Mentor, and Granite Tor.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">"Your lonely, bewildered, but not utterly beaten—</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 25em;">"BUBBLE."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>The Miss Buchans were at tea in the big drawing-room when their nephew +arrived.</p> + +<p>Gentian was with them. She wore a simple white gown. The only colour +about her was that of the arresting blue of her eyes. But as Vernon +Buchan came swiftly forward to greet his aunts, his eyes only took in +one picture, that of the slim white girlish figure with the piquant +oval face, the sunny cloud of hair and the wonderful eyes.</p> + +<p>She was introduced to him, and for a moment he wondered how she came +there. Miss Anne quietly enlightened him.</p> + +<p>"Miss Brendon looks after me, and drives me out in the afternoon. In +these days we have lady chauffeurs. It was some time before I became +accustomed to the idea."</p> + +<p>Gentian said to herself with mutinous lips: "And now I am put in my +place and must stay there."</p> + +<p>But Vernon was so talkative, and his conversation was so interesting, +that she could not stay mute for long, and when she heard that he had +only just arrived from Italy and had been to Capri three days before +leaving, she clasped her hands in eager delight.</p> + +<p>"Oh, tell me! It was my home for so many years. Tell me how it looks. +Where did you stay? I know every one. And is Luigi still the first to +come and offer to take you and your luggage to the Engleesh-speaking +hotel?"</p> + +<p>He laughed gaily. Miss Anne could as soon stop the current of a river +towards the sea as the animated talk which followed between the two +young people.</p> + +<p>Before dinner time came, Vernon was well acquainted with Gentian's +history, but he did not devote himself entirely to her; he only took +good care to include her in conversation with his two aunts.</p> + +<p>It was a lovely summer evening. In the big drawing-room later on, +Gentian went to the piano. It was her custom to play to Miss Anne for +half an hour every night. Vernon sat by the open window, and listened +with his heart in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"But your music is divine!" he exclaimed. "You have the soul of a true +artist. I have my violin. I never go anywhere without it. Will you +accompany me?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I can," said Gentian simply, "but I will try."</p> + +<p>Horatia smiled grimly when she saw them settle themselves at the piano +for the rest of the evening.</p> + +<p>Gentian was quick at reading at sight. Her touch and her execution +entranced Vernon.</p> + +<p>At last Miss Anne intervened.</p> + +<p>"Please let us enjoy your society, Vernon. I think you had better +practise in the mornings. Too much music makes my head ache. Oh, don't +apologize, but it is nearly ten o'clock and I want to hear a great deal +from you. How is your sister, and where is she?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, she has a flat in town."</p> + +<p>Vernon put by his violin with reluctance.</p> + +<p>"I'm staying with her. I had to hurry back, for I have one or two +recitals coming off before the season closes."</p> + +<p>"Is her husband with her?"</p> + +<p>"My dear aunt, is he ever with her? He's hunting big game in Ceylon +at present. Emmie and I are always happy together. But just now I'm a +harassed wretch. I felt I must have a couple of nights with you, and +I've really come down here to look up a certain Miss Lascelles who is +in your neighbourhood. My accompanist is ill, he's had to go off to +Davos—lung trouble—and Miss Lascelles took his place once before. She +lives in Winderball. Isn't that your nearest town?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Miss Horatia. "I know whom you mean. Miss Lascelles is the +daughter of a doctor there. She makes a living by her music, does she +not, but some one told me only last week that she had gone abroad—to +Austria, I think. She has obtained some musical post over there."</p> + +<p>Vernon ran his hand nervously up and down through his hair.</p> + +<p>"Disaster stares me in the face! I shall have to pelt back to town +to-morrow to arrange something."</p> + +<p>But when the next day came he did not go. Instead, he kept Gentian at +the piano every moment of her spare time, and at five o'clock tea he +sprang his bomb.</p> + +<p>"I have been directed down here," he said solemnly; "by my good fairy. +I have found my accompanist. Aunt Anne, will you spare Miss Brendon for +a week or two? Emmie will gladly put her up. With her, my success in +town will be assured. She's a born accompanist."</p> + +<p>Miss Anne was simply speechless. Nothing more had been said about +Gentian's proposed holiday. Miss Horatia had told her sister gruffly +that it was too late in the day to save the situation.</p> + +<p>"He is bowled over, as I knew he would be, by her pretty grace and her +music. But it will be one of his passing emotions. Vernon is too fond +of his own ease and comfort to mean anything serious."</p> + +<p>Now Miss Horatia, if feeling startled, did not show it. She smiled at +her nephew a little provokingly.</p> + +<p>"Anything more?" she asked. "Would you like our good cook, and my +hunter? Not that I class Miss Brendon with them, but she is here for a +purpose and cannot be spared."</p> + +<p>He waved his hand airily.</p> + +<p>"She must be spared. You have got on without her for a good many years, +and a month at the outside will see me through my recitals. Town will +be getting empty very soon. This is my chance, and I am not going to +lose it. It would be a sin and shame to keep her down here, whilst I am +rushing all over the country and tearing my hair to find somebody who +will do for me."</p> + +<p>"There are hundreds of people in town who will jump at the job," said +Miss Horatia, "and any Concert Directoire would find one for you."</p> + +<p>Vernon got up from his seat.</p> + +<p>"I mean to have Miss Brendon," he said emphatically. "I shall run away +with her, abduct her. It's so easy in these days with a car. She may be +going on an errand to the village, a car slows down, a shawl is flung +over her head, and it's done. She's dropped in the bottom of the car a +helpless heap, and away we go—in London before she is even missed!"</p> + +<p>"Don't be so ridiculous, Vernon!"</p> + +<p>"And improper," murmured Miss Anne.</p> + +<p>Gentian began to laugh. Her happy infectious laugh made every one join +in it.</p> + +<p>"I am the person to be consulted," she said, "and I could not possibly +leave my present situation, sir." Here she gave a little bow to Vernon.</p> + +<p>"Oh, indeed you can. Aunt Anne and Aunt Horatia can come up to town +with you if they like, if they won't trust Emmie to look after you. I +mean you to come—and I'm a bit of a hypnotist; you'll find yourself +doing it before you can say 'Jack Robinson.'"</p> + +<p>"I am going upstairs to have a rest in my room before dinner," +announced Miss Anne quietly. "Gentian, come with me, please."</p> + +<p>Gentian offered her her arm at once and they left the room together.</p> + +<p>Vernon settled down in his chair again. He meant to have it out with +his Aunt Horatia.</p> + +<p>A determined man can get the better of two women if they happen to +be fond of him. Miss Anne and Miss Horatia did not approve of their +nephew's ways. He was too Bohemian, too unconventional, and too +improvident to please them. But they loved him, and had given him a +home when his parents were abroad and he was a small schoolboy.</p> + +<p>Before another day had elapsed, Gentian found herself ready to agree to +his proposal. Secretly she was elated at the thought of it. She went +over to Mrs. Wharnecliffe and coaxed her round to give her permission, +but to Thorold she did not write till everything was settled and she +was in the train with Vernon for Town.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The ensuing weeks seemed unreal to her. She was by turn delighted and +wearied with the wild rush of life that was now her lot. Mrs. St. +Lucas, Vernon's sister, was a bright happy-go-lucky little lady, who +was as eager in her protestations of friendship for Gentian, as she was +in getting rid of all responsibility concerning her.</p> + +<p>The practices for the Recitals kept Gentian busy, but she was not at +the piano the whole day, and Vernon was only too ready to take her out +to lunch and dinner and then to the theatre afterwards. Mrs. St. Lucas +was generally with them, but not always—and as time went on, Vernon +began to assume airs of proprietorship which Gentian opposed with quiet +dignity. She would laugh and talk with him about a hundred different +things, but let personality be brought into prominence, then she +stiffened immediately.</p> + +<p>The first Recital was a great success—Gentian wrote a full account of +it to Thorold.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "You see," she concluded, "that I am now being shown that the talent +which has been given to me must be used. You have no idea of the +flattering things that have been said to me. The Managing Director told +me that if I stayed in London, he could give me continual work, and the +pay he would offer me staggers me. It would be foolish, dear Cousin +Thor, would it not, to go back to the Miss Buchans and wind wool and +read magazine articles and drive a car when I could earn double here, +and have such a lovely time? It is so exquisite, feeling I have a right +and a duty to spend hours at the piano. I have always dreamt of playing +to an audience, and they seem to think that I could manage a solo or +two of my own later on. Mr. Buchan amuses me so much—he thinks he has a +right to choose the dress I am to wear when I play for him. I have to +buy new gowns up here. Mrs. St. Lucas has taken me to her dressmaker, +and it seems to me that my first earnings will be swallowed up with +frocks. He insisted upon my wearing a kind of moonlight blue when I +made my first appearance in public. And then he wanted me to be in +white and gold. But I stuck at that. It was not retiring enough for an +accompanist.<br> +<br> + "Oh, Cousin Thor, how he plays! He pours his whole soul out! I think +his violin comes first in the world with him. He makes me thrill and +quiver when he plays, and I could weep from sheer ecstasy.<br> +<br> + "I must tell you, that the other day I met Jim in Bond Street. +Mr. Buchan and I were going to the Academy. It was a surprise. Jim came +with us, but it was uncomfortable being three, and they glared at each +other like angry dogs over a bone. I needn't tell you I was the bone. +And the poor bone wished herself miles away from them both.<br> +<br> + "Then Jim came to see me yesterday, and Mrs. St. Lucas welcomed him +sweetly, but when we were alone, he trotted out the old story, and +I thought hard, of the home he would give me, and the fun, and the +affection. And the managing. But he told me in the midst of it all, +that the musical world was a rotten environment for any girl, and that +he would never let any one he knew play in public! I thanked him and +dismissed him, and cried when he had gone.<br> +<br> + "Why do you all try to manage me? Mr. Buchan does—but I am in his +pay, so he is my master. I think you are better than you used to be. +Perhaps it is that you are rather tired of me and do not feel it worth +while. I thought you might be angry when you heard I was here, but your +letters say so little. They're as mild as toast and water. I don't want +you to object to what I am doing, for I mean to go on doing it, and +I am writing to the Miss Buchans to-day to break with them. Mrs. St. +Lucas wants me to go to Vienna with her next month. What do you think +of that! I mean to study music there, and next autumn I am assured of +plenty of work.<br> +<br> + "Sometimes I shut my eyes and see the little valley running down to the +sea. Tell me how the mine is going, and if Miss Muir is still planning +a house for you. And are you living in lodgings or still at the Rectory?<br> +<br> + "This is from the Bubble who is beginning to soar once more."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Thorold's answer was as follows:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAR LITTLE FLEDGED MUSICIAN,—<br> +<br> + "Why should I try to cut your wings? And stamp upon your talent which +is now seeing the light of London Town? I don't like the life for you, +and rather agree with poor unfortunate Jim. It is too hard work for one +of your calibre. The late hours, the strain, and rush, and artificial +atmosphere will all tell on your nervous system, but this, I am sure, +you will have to find out for yourself. The week or two you are +experiencing now will be very different from the perpetual grind of a +professional accompanist. And if you should develop into a professional +soloist, it will be harder work still.<br> +<br> + "I have nothing to say, except that if you get tired or disillusioned, +send for me. I am at the end of a wire. And we'll fix up something +else. Never be afraid of owning up to mistakes. Such a lot of trouble +comes from false pride. What can I tell you about myself? I am in +diggings at a farm near the mine, and I eat a lot of Cornish cream, +and enjoy Cornish pasties and Saffron buns. We're very pleased with +the mine—we've opened up a vein of tin, and now the work is going +fast! I feel sorry that your time at the Mount is over. What will Miss +Anne do without you? Vienna is not an attractive town to me. I knew +it in my young days before my father died. To spend one of summer's +best months there is pitiful. But the music, of course, is enchanting. +Only—only—child—don't let the musical world swamp and drown your soul.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 8.5em;">"Yours when you want me,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 16.5em;">"THOROLD."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Gentian tucked this letter inside her frock after kissing the signature.</p> + +<p>"Yours when you want me," she murmured to herself; "how I wish I could +make that into a proposal! Oh, Cousin Thor, I'll send for you, I know I +shall, but not yet! Things are going too well, and I'm enjoying myself. +And my musical soul is being fed and satisfied."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_14">CHAPTER XIV</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>"I WANT YOU"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>TO say that both Mrs. Wharnecliffe and Thorold were very uneasy about +their young protégé would be to state it very mildly.</p> + +<p>If Mrs. Wharnecliffe had not had her husband in bed with one of his +bad attacks of gout, she would have gone up to town herself and taken +Gentian under her motherly wing. She knew Mrs. St. Lucas, and was well +aware of her happy-go-lucky Bohemian propensities.</p> + +<p>As to Thorold, he thought about Gentian night and day; he longed to +cast prudence and diffidence to the winds, and go up to London and +fetch her down to Cornwall, where she could once more be under his +protecting care. But when he had written to her, he waited patiently, +dreading, yet sometimes almost longing, to receive a summons from her.</p> + +<p>And then about the middle of July it came.</p> + +<p>A telegram was handed to him as he was starting to meet his manager at +the mine, one morning about ten o'clock.</p> + +<p>It was very brief.</p> + +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">"I want you—Gentian."</span><br> + +<p>He flung a few things into his suit-case, borrowed Mr. Muir's car and +caught the morning express from Liskeard to town. She had wired to him +from a country inn just outside Maidenhead. He did not get there till +about six o'clock. The landlady came to the door at once.</p> + +<p>"You'll be the young lady's cousin or guardian, so she tells me. She +ought to be in bed, but she's on the couch in the best parlour. Come +this way, please."</p> + +<p>"Is she ill—an accident—what is the matter?</p> + +<p>"The doctor says 'tis a marvel: she's escaped with bruises and a +sprained wrist. She was pitched right out of the car, and found +underneath it."</p> + +<p>"Who was with her?"</p> + +<p>"Nobody, she drove herself down from town, and turning a corner ran +into some felled trees. I always do say that for a reckless driver, +give me a young lady!"</p> + +<p>Thorold said nothing. He followed her to a small dingy parlour at the +back of the house, and there, covered with an old plaid shawl, upon a +horsehair couch, lay Gentian. An ugly bruise and plastered cut on her +forehead and a bandaged wrist were the only evidences of her accident, +but she looked white and shaken, and could only faintly smile as she +looked up at him.</p> + +<p>"I knew you would come. I told the landlady so."</p> + +<p>He stood looking down upon her with his kind eyes.</p> + +<p>"Do your friends know where you are?"</p> + +<p>"No. I have run away from them."</p> + +<p>It was so like Gentian, that Thorold could have smiled, had he been +less concerned about her.</p> + +<p>And then she held out her unhurt hand to him, and when she had got hold +of his hand, clutched it as if she could never let it go, and burst +into a flood of tears.</p> + +<p>He stood silent beside her, for he knew that her tears would relieve +her, and then he said gently:</p> + +<p>"Don't bother to talk. I'll wait to be told things till you're feeling +better, but I must let Mrs. St. Lucas know where you are, and I would +like to see the doctor."</p> + +<p>"Don't tell Mrs. St. Lucas, don't! He will come down and make a fuss. +We were going up to Chester and York—a kind of tour—and I won't go, and +he'll be angry."</p> + +<p>She was struggling to get the better of her tears.</p> + +<p>"I must wire to relieve their anxiety, but I won't say where you are. +I will say you are returning home with me. I will write later when you +can give me details."</p> + +<p>He left the room. He was always prompt and practical. When he returned, +he had seen the doctor, wired to Mrs. St. Lucas, and ordered a nice +little dinner to be sent into the parlour for himself and Gentian. He +had also got a room for himself at an hotel in Maidenhead.</p> + +<p>He found Gentian looking much better and brighter.</p> + +<p>"It's all right now you are here," she said, "I'm ready to explain all."</p> + +<p>"Not yet. We will have some food first. What a fortunate thing you were +so near this inn!"</p> + +<p>"Yes; one of the ostlers heard the crash and ran out. It was only just +round the corner. Such a corner! They ought to have put up warning +lights, but I suppose I was reckless—I felt so."</p> + +<p>She could not eat much, she said her head was bad, but she drank a cup +of tea, and she looked up at him pathetically when he helped her back +to the couch.</p> + +<p>"If only I was feeling well, how much we could enjoy ourselves!" she +said.</p> + +<p>A little later the meal was carried away, and then he drew up a chair +to her side, and with her hand lightly clasping his she told her story.</p> + +<p>"Do you know Mr. Buchan? He is very amusing, and alive to his +finger-tips, and he's a passionate, magnificent violinist. He loves +his violin like nothing in the world, and he amuses himself with +everybody else. He liked me, and he was awfully nice, and respectful +and courteous, and all he ought to be, until we had finished our London +recitals. Then he was tired and his nerves were on edge, and he would +take me about to places I did not like, and he began to take liberties, +called me by my Christian name, and was always taking hold of me, and +talking in a silly inane fashion. He thought I liked it, until one day +I made myself very angry and showed him that I did not intend to be +treated so. Then he did it to tease me.</p> + +<p>"The night before last, Mrs. St. Lucas had a dinner engagement +somewhere, and I was feeling tired. I had not been in bed before two +or three in the morning for a whole week. He came in about dinner time +and wanted me to go to the Ritz with him. I refused, and then he said +he should stay at home with me. I am quite sure he took too much whisky +at dinner, for when he came into the drawing-room afterwards, he reeked +of it, and he began to be most objectionable, calling me his 'darling +girl' and trying to kiss me. I walked straight away from him and locked +myself up in my bedroom.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. St. Lucas came home very late, so I determined to tell her about +it in the morning. I did not know quite what to do, for she had made +all arrangements to go to Vienna, and of course Mr. Buchan was going +too, and I suddenly felt sick and disgusted with it all. I hardly +slept—worrying through things and not seeing how I could back out of +it, or get away from them. Then in the morning I heard from Mrs. St. +Lucas' maid when she called me that Mrs. St. Lucas had gone down to +Richmond with a party of friends for the day. It was just like her. She +left a message saying she would be back early in the evening. I asked +the maid if Mr. Buchan were out or in, and she gave me a note from him."</p> + +<p>Gentian paused, then with her head held very proudly, she went on:</p> + +<p>"If he had apologized for his behaviour, I would very likely have +forgiven him on condition he never offended in that way again, but his +note was sentimental drivel, just flattering me, and saying that the +earth could do better without the sun than he could without me, and he +ended by saying he wanted to take me down the river for the day. Would +I be kind and come? I sent a message by the maid to say that I was not +well and was going to have a quiet day in my room. And then after I had +heard him leave the flat, and angrily tell the maid he would not be in +till late, it suddenly struck me what I could do!</p> + +<p>"In a few minutes I was out of bed and dressed, and had got to the +nearest garage. I hired a car without thinking of where I was going. +I only knew I must get away from it all. I remembered as I was going +through the streets, that Waddy had a married sister in Wiltshire. She +came to her funeral, and I thought for the sake of Waddy that she might +take me in. And then, just as I came here, I ran into some trees half +across the road. I'm not smashed up myself, perhaps it would be better +for you and others if I were, but the car is an utter wreck, and I +shall have to pay an awful sum at the garage, I suppose. I didn't know +what to do, and then I thought of you. And if you can square it up with +them now, I'll pay you back by instalments. If it takes a lifetime to +do it, I will!"</p> + +<p>She glanced up at him feverishly.</p> + +<p>Thorold responded at once.</p> + +<p>"I'll write to them to-night, they must know, of course. Now what do +you want to do?"</p> + +<p>There was silence. Gentian leant back against a very hard cushion and +looked up at him gravely.</p> + +<p>"What do you advise me to do?" she said.</p> + +<p>"I think the best thing for you to do is to go to bed and have a good +night's rest. You look as if you badly need it. I'll come round after +breakfast, and if you feel fit, I'll take you to Mrs. Wharnecliffe, who +is really anxious about you. She told me you had left off writing to +her."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I haven't written to anyone—except perhaps you—and you haven't +heard very often, have you?"</p> + +<p>"We'll talk over things to-morrow. I do not know whether you want to +break entirely with these new friends of yours. But don't worry your +head over them. Now I am going. Good night. The landlady says she has a +comfortable bedroom for you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, what does it matter where I sleep! I'm only a plague and bother +to all my friends. Good night. You're like one of your Cornish Tors—I +wish—I wish I could be so immovably serene!"</p> + +<p>Thorold left her—and acting upon his advice, Gentian went up to her +bedroom and got into an old-fashioned fourpost bed with a feather +mattress. As she put down her head upon her pillow, she said to herself +determinedly:</p> + +<p>"I shan't think of Vernon or his sister. I shall wipe them off my mind. +I shall only dream and think of that peaceful Cornish valley by the +sea, and of Cousin Thor moving about in it trying to shoulder all the +people's burdens. He is shouldering mine, and I will leave him to do +it. He never fails me."</p> + +<p>Sleep came to her very soon in spite of aching wrist and limbs. She met +Thorold at the breakfast table the next morning looking much more like +herself. And she had recovered her spirits. Meeting his intent gaze she +asked him lightly:</p> + +<p>"Am I looking an awful guy? I feel as if I have been in a football +scrimmage."</p> + +<p>"You are very thin," said Thorold gravely. "I suppose it is the result +of the life you have been leading—late hours and excitement."</p> + +<p>"I have only had six weeks of it, barely that."</p> + +<p>"It's long enough to have brought lines to your face which were not +there before."</p> + +<p>"You're not complimentary. You never are to me. But I have got nervy +and cross in London. I always hated towns. I told you so when you came +and took Waddy and me away from it. The air is used up, and people get +in one's way, and are nasty, and then that rouses nastiness in me."</p> + +<p>"Well, now we must talk matters over. You have been too hasty and +impetuous in running away like this! Do you want to end all this +musical life? Will you be content to settle down quietly away from it +all?"</p> + +<p>"I never want to get away from music. I could not be happy without a +piano or organ, but I never want to see Mr. Buchan again, never. He +thinks of nobody but himself, and thinks he can treat me anyhow!"</p> + +<p>Gentian's cheeks grew hot and red as she thought of her last interview +with Vernon, and of his letter following it.</p> + +<p>"I don't know where I am to live," she went on with a plaintive tone in +her voice. "I could never go back to the Miss Buchans. Now I see that I +treated them badly, for they have been very kind to me. But Mr. Buchan +made me write to them and definitely refuse to go back to them. And I +can't stay very long with Mrs. Wharnecliffe."</p> + +<p>"We'll talk over plans with her," said Thorold hastily. "I think you +had better write yourself to both Mr. Buchan and his sister. They have +been kind to you. Don't shirk it. You are not a child, and must be able +to have the courage of your convictions."</p> + +<p>Gentian looked at him with laughter in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"You are just the same as ever. Very kind when I am in trouble, but so +quick to dictate to me and correct my faults. When I sweep people out +of my life, I do it with one good swish of the broom, and never give my +reasons. Why should I?"</p> + +<p>"I think it would be more courteous and more straightforward if you +were to do so."</p> + +<p>"What! To tell Mrs. St. Lucas that her brother is detestable to me!"</p> + +<p>"No, that is not necessary."</p> + +<p>Gentian jumped up from the breakfast table. "I'll write with the +greatest pleasure. No one can say that I am afraid of them."</p> + +<p>She seized hold of her writing-case, sat down and scribbled off two +hasty notes which she handed to Thorold to read before she placed them +in their envelopes.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR MRS. ST. LUCAS,—<br> +<br> + "I hope you were not anxious about me. I would have explained had you +been home. I have had enough of town life. Your brother and I have had +words—I don't feel I care about being with him any more. I have played +for him at his two big Recitals, and that is all I came up for. I shall +never change my mind, but I thank you for your kind hospitality and +hope you will enjoy Vienna. Please send my luggage to Mrs. Wharnecliffe +and forgive my hasty departure.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 6.5em;">"Yours gratefully,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 8.5em;">"GENTIAN BRENDON."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR MR. BUCHAN,—<br> +<br> + "I feel you will have given your sister an explanation of my +disappearance. Please do not think that all girls are alike, and that I +understand such talk and behaviour as yours. Your letter is offensive +to me. What have I done to make you write in such a style? I hope we +shall never meet again. I should have been happier if I had never known +you.<br> +<br> + "I can't describe myself anything but a disgusted and disillusioned +acquaintance,<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">"GENTIAN BRENDON."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Thorold handed them back to her with a very grave face.</p> + +<p>"Well, you don't approve of them?"</p> + +<p>"I think you might write to him differently. With a little more +dignity. After all, he may have only expressed what he felt for you—you +are too severe."</p> + +<p>"Oh, men always side with men."</p> + +<p>"I am trying to be just and fair," said Thorold. "Give his note back to +me."</p> + +<p>Gentian tore it to pieces, then dashed off another epistle.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR MR. BUCHAN,—<br> +<br> + "I am sorry that I felt obliged to come away from town. Your attitude +lately has stopped our friendly intercourse, and I think it wiser to +end my visit to your sister.<br> +<br> + "Thanking you for all your past kindness,<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 7em;">"Yours sincerely,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11em;">"GENTIAN BRENDON."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"That is better," was Thorold's comment. "Now we'll post these at once, +and get them off our mind. There's a train we can catch in an hour's +time. The doctor wants to see you once more. I see him coming along the +road now."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't want doctors," said Gentian impatiently.</p> + +<p>But she was persuaded to see him, and he was able to bandage her wrist +afresh.</p> + +<p>"You want a good rest. Your nerves are overstrained," he told her. "Why +will you young people burn the candle at both ends! Then if illness or +accident comes, you have no resisting force to overcome them."</p> + +<p>"I consider I've weathered through my accident in splendid fashion," +she said.</p> + +<p>He shook his head.</p> + +<p>"Your pulse does not tell me so. Take it quietly. You will feel your +bruises for some days, but you have had a wonderful escape."</p> + +<p>In an hour's time Gentian was sitting opposite Thorold in a railway +carriage.</p> + +<p>He talked to her a great deal about Cornwall; of its traditions and +folklore and history. He persistently refused to discuss any future +plans with her and she was content, for the time being, to live in the +present.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe received Gentian with her usual warmth of welcome.</p> + +<p>"The very bad penny has returned to you," said Gentian softly and +contritely.</p> + +<p>"I almost felt it would be so," was Mrs. Wharnecliffe's response. "Your +heart was so set on going, that I felt it would be wise to let you go; +but I had a presentiment that it would be a failure."</p> + +<p>They had had luncheon in the train. Sitting out under the big acacia +tree on the lawn, Gentian poured out her story. Mrs. Wharnecliffe +smiled at times at her childishness, yet was surprised with her quick +comprehension and discernment. She saw that Vernon Buchan had wearied +her long before the actual break with him, and she was thankful for it.</p> + +<p>Thorold left them alone for a considerable time; then, when he joined +them, Mrs. Wharnecliffe said she must finish writing some letters.</p> + +<p>"We will have tea out here," she said. "I shall not be long."</p> + +<p>Thorold took a garden chair and pulled out his pipe, but he did not +light it. He looked at Gentian in a funny, diffident kind of way.</p> + +<p>"Now shall we talk plans?" he said.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian with a sigh; "but you'll be very clever if you can +find a home for me anywhere, I must work; but what to do, and how to +earn money, I do not know. I suppose I must try and give music lessons, +but I am not very patient."</p> + +<p>Thorold cleared his throat.</p> + +<p>"I should like to offer you a home," he said; "but I doubt if you +would—"</p> + +<p>"Oh, where? Not in Cornwall with you? As your housekeeper?"</p> + +<p>He shook his head.</p> + +<p>"Oh, no."</p> + +<p>Gentian's face fell.</p> + +<p>Then he put his pipe in his pocket, and took her slim little hand in +his.</p> + +<p>"Am I too old and stodgy for you, Gentian? Too dull and commonplace to +make you happy? Would you care to come down to Cornwall and make me one +of the happiest men there?"</p> + +<p>"Are you asking me to marry you?" whispered Gentian, her blue eyes +glowing as she looked up into his rather agitated face.</p> + +<p>"I am asking you to be my wife," he said very solemnly.</p> + +<p>Her face broke up into ripples of laughter. Then a tender softness came +over it.</p> + +<p>"Cousin Thor, you're a darling! Do you really mean it?"</p> + +<p>"Would I joke on such a subject?"</p> + +<p>"I never, never thought you'd care enough for me. Why, I like you +better than anyone else in the world! You're not asking me out of pity?"</p> + +<p>Thorold had drawn her into his arms.</p> + +<p>"There's no pity in my heart," he said softly, "only immense love. And +it has been there for a long, long time, only I thought I was too old +for you."</p> + +<p>"You're not a bit old, you're everything that I want. Did you know how +I felt about you?"</p> + +<p>"Tell me."</p> + +<p>But Gentian had suddenly become shy. "I will one day, but not yet."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe, looking out of her morning-room, suddenly rang her +bell, and gave orders that tea was to be delayed half an hour. At the +end of that time, she walked out to the acacia tree, and received the +news with great equanimity.</p> + +<p>"And now do you think all your troubles are at an end, Gentian?" she +asked, smiling.</p> + +<p>"Troubles?" repeated the girl with shining eyes. "Oh, indeed they are! +The whole world is changed to me. Now, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, I shall have +a right to go off to Cornwall as often as I like, and a right to have +my say in his house, and everything that concerns him. I have a right +to look after him in every way. How I've longed to do it! I can hardly +believe it is true! Just think. An hour ago I had no hope—no certainty +or knowledge of what was to become of me—I was lonely and miserable. I +had made a mess of my affairs in town—I had offended the Misses Buchan, +I felt you and Cousin Thor did not know what to do with me, and looked +upon me as an incubus—an obstacle to your peace of mind! I felt he was +going back to his mine, and Miss Muir meant to marry him. And here in +this peaceful garden I was at the end of everything. When Cousin Thor +said he wanted to talk plans, I thought I should be placed in some +awful family, or have a stiff, starched chaperon. I haven't had time to +think things out yet. I hardly know if I stand on my head or my heels. +Do you think he really and truly means what he says? He's the sort that +might sacrifice his whole life from compassion or pity on somebody. And +that somebody would be me! You know him very well."</p> + +<p>But Thorold interrupted:</p> + +<p>"Do you doubt my word?" he asked her softly.</p> + +<p>And Gentian gazed at him with tender smiling eyes.</p> + +<p>"No, you couldn't tell a lie. You've done for yourself, Cousin Thor, +for good or evil you have got me now. Mrs. Wharnecliffe, are you in +your heart of hearts the least bit sorry for him?"</p> + +<p>"I should be, if I did not know you both very intimately. I know he +will satisfy all your requirements, Gentian, and it is in your power to +satisfy his."</p> + +<p>"Here we are, taking all the romance and beauty out of it, and +deliberately discussing it in cold blood," said Gentian. "I shall be +as bold as brass, and say it out loud: I love him, Mrs. Wharnecliffe, +and he loves me. Nothing else matters, nothing. If his mine burst up +to-morrow, and we had to live in two rooms on bread and cheese, I would +be singing for joy in my heart."</p> + +<p>"And now we will have tea," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, laughing, "and for +the present, Gentian, bread and cheese is not your portion. May I say +this, that you are a very fortunate girl. I don't think you know what I +think of your Cousin Thorold."</p> + +<p>"Yes I do—he's a tower of strength. I told him once my ideal of a +husband, and he's the only man that has fulfilled it. I want some +one like a rock for steadiness and reliability, he must never fail +me, never deceive me, never disappoint me. And his soul must be the +strongest part of him; for mine is the weakest. And you know his side +of the bargain. A scatter-brained, changeable, impetuous, well-meaning, +but altogether selfish bubble—just a frothy bubble. But—" here sudden +fire leaped to her eyes—"I'll do better, and I'll spend my life in +making him happy. He never thinks of himself, he has always thought +first of others. I will think first of him."</p> + +<p>"You embarrass me," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe gave a turn to the conversation.</p> + +<p>"Personalities will now be avoided," she said playfully. "What is more +to the purpose is—how long will you be able to stay here, Thorold?"</p> + +<p>"I must get back to-morrow night."</p> + +<p>They began to discuss plans. But Gentian's glowing animation died down. +She sat with clasped hands round her knees, gazing dreamily across the +sunny lawn.</p> + +<p>She felt that this was the golden hour in her life, and as her eyes +wandered up to the deep blue sky above her, she wondered if her +faithful friend would be allowed to know the great happiness that had +come to her.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h3><a id="Chapter_15">CHAPTER XV</a></h3> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THEIR GOLDEN TIME</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THOROLD did not leave till late the next afternoon. He took Gentian off +for a walk in the morning. And they found a lot to say to each other, +though perhaps he was the more silent of the two.</p> + +<p>She was rather shy at times.</p> + +<p>"You see," she explained to him, "I am not yet accustomed to my new +position. And if it seems to turn my head at first, you must make +allowances. It's rather a case of King Cophetua and the beggar-maid. +Yes, I'm next door to a beggar-maid, and to know that for the rest of +my life I shall have no money anxieties is entrancing. Do you think now +if the mine goes on well, that you and I could get a couple of good +horses and ride about together in Cornwall? You see, I'm at my old +trade, begging from the king already!"</p> + +<p>Her laughter rang out so merrily that Thorold could not help joining +her.</p> + +<p>"Yes, we will ride together," he said. "I would rather ride any day +than use a car."</p> + +<p>"And you'll take that little grey stone house, and let me make it cosy +and pretty? What a lot of things there are to be done! Oh, I wonder if +I shall make you a good wife? You like the old-fashioned sort, don't +you? A wife who'll always stay at home, and take care of the house, and +welcome her husband back with smiles of peace and looks of love. I'm +afraid I shall find it very difficult, but I mean to do everything you +want. Oh, Cousin Thor, you don't know how I worship you!"</p> + +<p>"We'll drop the 'cousin,' shall we?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, of course. But I've a lot of secret pet names for you. Would you +like to hear them? Thorold is so grave and stiff. I called you the +Buffer first, because you always came between me and difficulties, and +then I thought of you as 'Mr. Ready to help,' and then the 'Limpet's +Rock'—I was the limpet, of course—and you were also 'the Universal +Improver.'"</p> + +<p>"Oh, spare me," said Thorold with a little laugh; "I know I have been +very down on you for many things, but you have taken my scoldings like +an angel, and I don't feel like scolding any more."</p> + +<p>Then in a graver tone, he began to talk to her about the life they +would have together, of the responsibilities that would come to them, +and of the opportunities they would have of helping those around them.</p> + +<p>Gentian listened with eager delight.</p> + +<p>"I shall, of course, do all I can. I do think seriously, you know, and +I'm full now of noble resolves and desires. You will have to lift me up +away from earth when you are soaring heavenwards yourself. And when I +drop down with a thud into the mire, you will have to pick me up again, +and start me afresh."</p> + +<p>Their talk veered from grave to gay, but when they returned to the +house, Mrs. Wharnecliffe asked them if they had settled the day for +their marriage.</p> + +<p>"You have nothing to wait for," she said; "I am sure you know each +other through and through. I mean to keep Gentian with me until her +trousseau will be ready, and you will have to get your house in order, +Thorold. Don't think I want to hurry you, but I'm going to take Phil to +the Riviera in November, and should love to see you settled comfortably +for the winter, before we go."</p> + +<p>"I have touched upon that crucial point," said Thorold.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian, a little shyly; "and I'm going to leave it to +him—I want just a little time to take it all in, and to think over it, +but when he wants me, I'll be ready."</p> + +<p>"Then why not fix a day towards the end of October? That will leave a +good three months," suggested Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>And both Thorold and Gentian signified their assent.</p> + +<p>The hours of that day passed too quickly for Gentian. She clung to +Thorold when his time of departure came.</p> + +<p>"You are quite sure you haven't made a mistake?" she said, laying her +head on his shoulder with a little happy sigh; "you won't let Miss Muir +make you think I am too young and giddy to make you a good wife? I +shall do awful things sometimes, I always do, but I shan't do them on +purpose. And I have some pride, and I'll show Miss Muir that I can keep +house, and dispense hospitality, and be as good a hostess as she is +herself."</p> + +<p>"I am not afraid that my future wife will lack either dignity or +grace," said Thorold. "My darling, I have made many mistakes in my +life, but I am quite certain that I am not making one now."</p> + +<p>"And we'll write and write and write to each other, till we meet +again," said Gentian; "and if you're very long away, I shall get into +my car and come tearing down to see you—I can always do that."</p> + +<p>She parted from him with smiles and misty eyes, and when he had gone, +came to Mrs. Wharnecliffe.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm the happiest girl in the world! Did you know he liked me? Did +you know I liked him? I'm thanking God with all my heart for bringing +such joy into my life. I shall love Him so much more, and shall +serve Him so much better now. I always think that Cousin Thor is an +uncalendared saint; and living with him will, of course, make me a much +better character. We won't keep our engagement a secret. There's one +person I should like to tell soon, and that is Sir Gilbert. He is one +of my greatest friends next to you."</p> + +<p>"We'll drive over and see him to-morrow," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe. "I +have had a pretty good idea, for some time past, that your feelings +towards Thorold were undergoing a change. You did not care for him at +first, did you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, no," admitted Gentian; "for he was too masterful. Isn't it +funny? I don't mind that a bit now. I like it in him—I don't want my +own way, I want his."</p> + +<p>"Ah," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe, "that is the right kind of love, that +gives more than it takes. I hope you'll always feel like that, my dear +child."</p> + +<p>"I have really grown older," said Gentian thoughtfully, "in many ways. +Dear Waddy's illness taught me a good deal. I remember I felt when she +left me, that I would never smile again, my heart was quite cold and +dead. Cousin Thor did me good, when he came over to see me. And I see +now how right he was. Trouble does work for good if we take it in the +right way. I was very rebellious and impatient at first, and I have +been most awfully depressed lately—not seeing my future one little bit. +Somehow I never dreamt that Cousin Thor would or could care for me. I +felt very inclined to marry Jim, or anyone, and make the best of a bad +job. Fancy if I had! It doesn't bear thinking about."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe let her talk on. She was a very sympathetic listener, +and was too pleased with the match to be over-critical; otherwise she +might have checked the girl's egotistical talk.</p> + +<p>In a few days the news became known.</p> + +<p>Sir Gilbert received it with his serene smile.</p> + +<p>"I think," he said, "I must congratulate you most. There are few men +nowadays so quietly helpful and so selfless as Thorold Holt."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Gentian; "everybody loves him. I suppose you think I am not +half good enough for him. He ought to have a sweet, dignified, queenly +woman, serene and calm, and instead, he has me."</p> + +<p>"He has a little person who is learning fast to control her likes and +dislikes, to think nothing of herself, and everything of those she +loves."</p> + +<p>"I am trying to arrive at that, but am not there yet," said Gentian +humbly.</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia arrived over one afternoon to offer her congratulations.</p> + +<p>"I felt you would not come and see us," she said in her blunt downright +fashion; "so I came to see you. We are not annoyed with you, though I +am sure you think we are. Anne and I know our nephew's way so well. +That was why we did not want you to meet him. He takes violent fancies +to girls, and then slips away from them, before he definitely commits +himself."</p> + +<p>"He didn't treat me like that," said Gentian, with great dignity. "It +was I who ran away from him. But I was too hasty and impulsive, Miss +Horatia. I was beside myself with excitement in London, and when I was +told I could make quite a nice sum by accompanying people, I thought I +should like to take it up as a profession."</p> + +<p>"And then what happened?" inquired Miss Horatia.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Gentian hesitating, "Mr. Vernon would not leave me alone. +He wearied me. I had to do everything with him, and go everywhere with +him, and I got sick of it, and of the people I had to meet. I am not +made for towns. I always think some of us are made for the country and +some for towns, don't you think so? And then I simply fled, and I never +want to see London again. It all tired me to death, and made my nerves +all come to the top of my skin. Do you know the feeling?"</p> + +<p>"I could have told you what it would be like, but you would not have +believed me."</p> + +<p>"I am ashamed of myself. How is Miss Anne? Would she see me if I came +over and asked her forgiveness for leaving her so suddenly, after all +her kindness to me?"</p> + +<p>"She'll like to see you any day. And so you're really engaged to +Thorold Holt? I thought you considered him an antiquated prig and +meddler."</p> + +<p>"I thought he was everything that was horrid when I first knew him," +said Gentian laughing; "but everybody who really gets to know him, and +watches his life, must adore him, Miss Horatia!"</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia laughed.</p> + +<p>"Then that is your role now! Well—you can pin your faith and love on +Thorold and never be disillusioned. I'll say that, and I've known him +for a good many years. You're a lucky young woman, and I congratulate +you with all my heart."</p> + +<p>"Thank you. Every one tells me that. And they nearly say 'you're not +half enough good for him,' their eyes and corners of their mouths say +it, if their tongues don't! But it's quite true. I'm not good enough, +or clever enough, or steady enough. But somebody said once that people +who live together get like each other, so I'm hoping to get like him in +time."</p> + +<p>"You would do well to be shaken into a bag together," said Miss +Horatia. "I dare say you'll tone down, and he'll brisk up. Now what I +want to ask you is this: Are you going to get a chance of continuing +your riding after you're married?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I hope so. Cousin Thor says he will have horses. How is my dear +Sophy?"</p> + +<p>"She's eating her head off in the stable. Are you staying here? If so, +come over and exercise her. I think I may give my old hunter to you as +a wedding present."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Miss Horatia! After the way I have behaved! Why, you're a perfect +angel!"</p> + +<p>Impulsive Gentian seized hold of Miss Horatia's hands, and in her +pretty foreign fashion which had not altogether left her, lifted them +to her lips and kissed them.</p> + +<p>Miss Horatia drew her hands away with a little laugh.</p> + +<p>"You didn't offend me. Young people must go their own way nowadays. +I couldn't, when I was a girl—more's the pity. And you have gone up +several pegs in my estimation by your appreciation of Thorold."</p> + +<p>"Appreciation!" gasped Gentian. "Why I would die for him! Nobody +realizes what I feel for him!"</p> + + +<p>The next day she went over to see Miss Anne, who received her kindly, +but a little stiffly.</p> + +<p>But when Gentian told her contritely how sorry and ashamed she was for +having left them in such haste, she was graciously forgiven.</p> + +<p>"My sister and I have talked it over. We knew you were under our +nephew's influence, for he wrote to us about you and told us plainly +that he would not let you come back to us. You made a great mistake +in going up to town in the first instance, but that you would do. +However, all's well that ends well, and I think that Mrs. Wharnecliffe +and anyone who cares about you, must feel very thankful for your +engagement."</p> + +<p>"Yes," murmured Gentian; "I'm sure you think it is more than I deserve. +But it means a fresh start, and a new life, and a glorious future for +me. And I'm going to try and turn into a dowdy, virtuous, old-fashioned +wife, so that every one will say: 'How her marriage has improved her! +I never should have dreamt that that undisciplined, wilful, giddy girl +could have altered so!' I hope you'll say so, dear Miss Anne—oh, do +give me your blessing."</p> + +<p>Miss Anne could no more resist Gentian when she adopted her winning, +persuasive tone than anyone else. She promised she would come to her +wedding if she were able, and would be glad to see her at any time.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And then for the next month Mrs. Wharnecliffe kept her very busy over +her trousseau. She wanted to take Gentian for a few weeks to town to +shop there, but the girl shrank from it, and said she would much rather +get her clothes made locally.</p> + +<p>"You don't like a place that has made you unhappy. London was not a +friend to me. I think she is one of the cities in the world which is +pleasant for the workers and business people and the gay idlers, but +I'm a betwixt and a between, I'm not exactly a drone, and I'm not a +busy bee. I'm just a lover of sunshine and peace and quiet country. +Don't smile like that, Mrs. Wharnecliffe. I'm altering a lot as I grow +older. I shall love the quietness of that grey Cornish house, and you +can't say I don't love the country here. And I'm not going to be a +smart, fashionable woman. Thorold loves me in blue, he says he wants me +to dress in nothing else, so that's easy. And we're not going to have a +smart wedding."</p> + +<p>"But I shall insist upon a white wedding dress," said Mrs. Wharnecliffe +firmly, "and you must have one or two nice evening frocks and some of +them not blue."</p> + +<p>Gentian was smiling happily, with her thoughts far away. Thorold had +told her that the picture of her standing in the doorway of that dingy +lodging-house in London had never left his memory.</p> + +<p>"You were dressed in a rich blue gown with turquoise beads, and somehow +you reminded me with your sad, sweet little face and big blue eyes of a +young madonna. You might have stepped out of some old Italian picture."</p> + +<p>"And then you discovered I was only an imp," Gentian had said to him.</p> + +<p>She was thinking of this now and of how Thorold had drawn her into his +arms and murmured:</p> + +<p>"My little blue Gentian—I want you always dressed in blue."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Wharnecliffe smiled as she noted her abstraction of mind. She +remembered her own courting days, and made due allowance for Gentian's +moods.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Time slipped along rapidly; and then they went for another day or two +down to Cornwall.</p> + +<p>This time Frances Muir was away, and Gentian was relieved to hear it.</p> + +<p>The house was in the decorators' hands, and work being pushed along as +rapidly as it could be in one of the leisurable counties of England.</p> + +<p>Thorold and Gentian wandered over the house by themselves.</p> + +<p>"How I longed to furnish it when I was here before. And now we are +doing it," laughed Gentian. "Now you must promise not to laugh at me if +I ask you for one thing. There is a little empty room at the end of the +passage. It looks out west. I want a bit of the house all to myself, +and I want this room. I shall watch the sunsets from it, and in the +winter I shall see the daylight die away later than in any other room."</p> + +<p>"You shall have the room most certainly. It can be your boudoir."</p> + +<p>"No, no, it is going to be my Sanctuary. When I was in Italy, I knew +somebody—she was only a girl—one of my own friends—but she had in her +beautiful home one little room where she used to go to tell her beads +and pray before a silver crucifix. I am not a Roman Catholic. I don't +want a crucifix or beads, but I shall have a prie-dieu chair just +before the window, and I shall have my Bible on a blue cushion upon +the wide window-ledge, and when I'm in one of my passions—or when I +feel worried or depressed—I shall run away there and be quiet, and then +shall come out with peace in my heart. Sir Gilbert and you have taught +me to take all my troubles to God. I do it as a habit now. But I love +to have a little quiet closet as the Bible says, and be shut in there +alone."</p> + +<p>"My darling," said Thorold, bending over her and kissing rather a +wistful little face, "you shall indeed have your Sanctuary. I only wish +it were big enough for a small organ, for I think you would like one +there. But I must tell you, I am going to present the little church +here with one. I don't think you and I could stand that harmonium every +Sunday. I have talked with Dick about it, and he is very pleased. You +will be able to run into church whenever you like, and if you would +sometimes play for the Sunday services, I expect everyone would be +delighted."</p> + +<p>Gentian's face became radiant.</p> + +<p>"An organ! Oh, how lovely. It is the one thing I have felt unhappy +about, leaving dear St. Anselm's and my dear, dear organ! Why, Thorold, +there's everything we want now in this little village."</p> + +<p>And Thorold made response in his dry and whimsical way:</p> + +<p>"I am easily contented. Organs and rooms, and all such common things +only form a background to my centre. And my centre is to be kept well +and happy, so I am now going to lock this house up before she gets +overtired and take her off to the Rectory to lunch."</p> + +<p> * * + * * + *</p> + +<p>Many people gathered together to see Gentian married in St. Anselm's +Church. And yet it was a very quiet wedding. Neither of Thorold's young +brothers was present. Gentian was much relieved to hear of Godwin's +engagement to his Admiral's daughter, before her own engagement to his +brother was broken to him.</p> + +<p>It was a bright, frosty October morning. Sir Gilbert gave the bride +away, and afterwards played the wedding march himself as she and her +bridegroom came down the aisle. Through the whole of the service +Gentian seemed very composed and quiet, but her head drooped and she +never raised her eyes.</p> + +<p>Thorold had felt her hand tremble as he put the ring upon her finger.</p> + +<p>She never once looked at him till they were in the car driving from the +church to Oakberry Hall, and then when Thorold put his arm round her, +she glanced up at him through a mist of tears.</p> + +<p>"It's just joy," she whispered to him, "and relief that I did not take +Jim in a hurry and lose you! And it's a little bit frightening, isn't +it, getting married? We've neither of us done it before, and if you +ever were to be disgusted and ashamed of me, what should I do? Now, +don't stop me! I feel that everybody thinks me too young and foolish to +be your wife, but time will put that right, won't it?"</p> + +<p>Thorold's protests made her smile.</p> + +<p>"And now," she said, "just call me Mrs. Holt, so that I may hear how it +sounds."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Afterwards, at Mrs. Wharnecliffe's reception, her quiet grace and +dignity were noted by all.</p> + +<p>The rector's wife was much impressed by it.</p> + +<p>"She has improved," she said to her husband; "since Miss Ward's death +she has been much steadier. I could have wished that Mr. Holt had +done better, but of course, in the circumstances, one does not wonder +that he has married her. He considered that he had cut her out of her +relation's money."</p> + +<p>But it was not pity that shone in Thorold's grey eyes. He had had a +grey life, and the golden sunshine that now flooded his heart almost +dazed him. Gentian had long ago stolen into his heart; he knew that she +would be enshrined there for the rest of his life. They went off to +Italy for a fortnight and then came straight home to Cornwall.</p> + +<p>It had been an ideal honeymoon. Thorold looked years younger, and +Gentian had developed in many ways. She was changing from a pretty girl +into a beautiful woman. Sometimes her grave dignity with strangers made +her husband wonder. Her explanation was very simple:</p> + +<p>"I am not going to be that contemptible thing, a child-wife! People +shan't curl their lips, and go away and pity you. When we're quite +alone, I'll have my fun, but not in public!"</p> + +<p>They came to their grey manor house as dusk was falling, but there +were lights and fire to welcome them, and Frances Muir had found them +a delightful Cornish couple of the name of Tiddy. Mr. Tiddy opened +the door and made smart salute. He had been a sailor, and thought the +British Navy the most important creation on the face of the earth. +Mrs. Tiddy was clean and rosy and very small, but she moved about at +lightning pace and never wasted time in talk. Her spouse was the one +with the tongue, as she told Gentian when talking about him.</p> + +<p>"I knew afore us were wedded what a clacker 'e be, an' sez I, two +tongues wull soon raise the wind, one agen t'uther, zo zilent be I from +this time forth, an' so I be. But I'll say this for Jerry, 'e du wark +so well as talk."</p> + +<p>Most of Thorold's furniture had been brought to the house. The square +hall, with its thick rugs underfoot, and thick curtains to the doors +and windows, and blazing log fire, looked a very different place from +when Gentian had first seen it. Whilst Thorold was giving directions +about their luggage, she ran upstairs, peeped into her big, bright +bedroom, where flowered chintzes and another bright fire awaited her, +and then down the passage she went to her Sanctuary. There was no fire +here, but she turned on the electric light, which had been installed +all over the house, and looked around her, well pleased with the result +of her furnishing.</p> + +<p>The walls were white, the woodwork dark oak. A rich blue carpet was +on the floor, and blue velvet curtains were drawn across the windows. +The prie-dieu chair, with its blue cushion, was before the window; +there were a writing-table, an easy chair and a small book-case filled +with devotional books. Two pictures only were hung upon the walls. One +depicted Christ walking with his two disciples to Emmaus, the other +Daniel kneeling before his open window.</p> + +<p>Gentian drew aside the curtains. In the distance she saw a line of +silver sea. A young moon was already shining in the sky. She gazed for +a moment up into the infinite blue above her, then turned and, kneeling +upon her chair, bowed her head.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "O God," she murmured, "I thank Thee for my husband and home. Bless us +in it. Make me a good wife, and help me to be a better Christian, for +Jesus Christ's sake—Amen."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>A moment later and she was hanging upon her husband's arm, listening +with laughing eyes to Tiddy's talk.</p> + +<p>"Missus an' me will do 'ee praper, esfay us will. A've bin to sea wi' +the highest in the land, an' they be most alway single gents, and +vrom puttin' in they dashed little studs in dinner starched shirts to +cleanin' patent boots wi' a shine on they vit to see wan's face tu, +a've waited on 'em, an' got nought but praise. An' missus an' me can +well attend tu the wants of a couple like 'ee, for a du lay that man +an' maid, be they king or tinker folk, when they virst be wed, be so +ower taken up wi' each on 'em, that they be main easy to be pleased."</p> + +<p>Thorold laughed and drew Gentian into the smoking-room.</p> + +<p>"He won't find us such fools as he hopes. We dream our dreams, but I +for one can be very practical, and I think my wife can be so too."</p> + +<p>"I want to be everything that I ought to be," said Gentian earnestly, +then she laughingly laid her head on her husband's shoulder.</p> + +<p>"But there is one thing I can't and won't be, and that is a long-faced, +melancholy Christian. They ought to be exterminated, for they make +others hate religion."</p> + +<p>"I hope I'm not one of that sort," said Thorold smiling.</p> + +<p>"You? Never. You're grave sometimes, but the twinkle in your eyes +always saves you. Oh, Thorold, do you think we shall always be as happy +as we are now?"</p> + +<p>And Thorold, looking at the radiant young face turned towards him, +had no misgivings that life should rob her of her joyousness. He only +softly repeated some lines which he had read:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"The heart that trusts for ever sings,<br> + And feels as light as it had wings;<br> + A well of peace within it springs,<br> + Come good or ill,<br> + Whate'er to-day, to-morrow brings.<br> + It is His Will."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +FINIS<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75231 ***</div> +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/75231-h/images/image001.jpg b/75231-h/images/image001.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2cffefc --- /dev/null +++ b/75231-h/images/image001.jpg diff --git a/75231-h/images/image002.jpg b/75231-h/images/image002.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..171b1db --- /dev/null +++ b/75231-h/images/image002.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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