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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #68590 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68590)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Christmas Bishop, by Winifred
-Kirkland
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Christmas Bishop
-
-Author: Winifred Kirkland
-
-Illustrator: Louise G. Morrison
-
-Release Date: July 22, 2022 [eBook #68590]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
- images generously made available by The Internet
- Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP ***
-
-
-
-
-
- THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP
-
- [Illustration:
-
- Sometimes, against the dark faces of the housefronts, window shades
- were rolled up, like eyelids opening, on home-pictures that reminded
- the Bishop it was Christmas night
-
- _See page 140_]
-
-
-
-
- The Christmas Bishop
-
- BY
-
- WINIFRED KIRKLAND
-
- _Author of “Introducing Corinna,” “The
- Home-Comers,” etc._
-
- ILLUSTRATED BY
-
- LOUISE G. MORRISON
-
- [Illustration]
-
- BOSTON
-
- SMALL, MAYNARD AND COMPANY
-
- PUBLISHERS
-
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1913
-
- By SMALL, MAYNARD AND COMPANY
-
- (Incorporated)
-
-
- THE VAIL-BALLOU CO.,
- BINGHAMTON, N. Y.
-
-
-
-
-THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP
-
-
-
-
-PART I
-
-
-Christmas morning, blue-black, pricked with stars against the Bishop’s
-window panes. Westbury lay asleep beside its curving river, the great
-old houses with gardens that ran terraced to the bank, the churches,
-the college, even the new teeming tenements at the bending of the
-water, all lay asleep in the Christmas dawning. The Bishop alone was
-awake, and against the darkness before his eyes pictures raced. He had
-been a poet once, so long ago that when sometimes they sang his hymns
-in church he had forgotten they were his, but he still kept the poet’s
-trick of thinking in pictures during those strangely alert moments
-between sleep and full awakening. The pictures fell into the march of a
-poem.
-
-It was a storied city built upon two hills cleft by a valley.
-On the twin crests towered great palaces and a temple. Where the
-hills sank toward the north, there were terraced streets and narrow
-climbing byways. There were markets and booths and all the signs of
-multitudinous life, but throughout all the place one heard no sound,
-saw nothing that moved, yet one knew that the whole city throbbed with
-the pulse-beats of innumerable homes. A gray pall hung low, as if the
-abrupt Oriental dawn had been arrested; the gray dimmed the marble of
-the palaces, and dulled the temple gold. In the silent gloom one waited.
-
-One did not know whence he had come, the Child who was suddenly there,
-in the streets of that city without stars, a sacred city once; but
-wherever he knocked upon the portal, quickly all within woke to life,
-and became a teeming, bustling household; again, when he withdrew, all
-was once more silence and darkness.
-
-He was a tiny child, barefoot and pale, some little lost waif from the
-mountains who had come seeking his kinsfolk among the homes. So fast
-he pattered over the pavement that his pale hair and his white tunic
-streamed upon the wind. His little yearning hands stretched out showed
-fair as a baby’s in that wintry twilight. Ever and again he knocked and
-entered, and always, entering, his face flamed with hope, and always,
-coming forth, he was sobbing, for he found no welcome.
-
-On and on he went, while each black street along which he hurried was
-stabbed ever and again by the opening and shutting of a ruddy door.
-In the silence one heard it plain, the heavy sound of a door that
-closed because it did not know him. At length he had passed the city
-portals and was mounting the hill-slope that is Golgotha, a form all
-pale upon the dark, blown hair and robe and pattering feet. There the
-Child turned, for it seemed he was the little Prince of that city,
-and all the folk his kin. Rising a-tiptoe he stretched out his hands,
-cross-wise, to them in love, and suddenly the sun, withheld, leaped
-kingly above the hills beyond Jordan, and the silent air was full of
-wings and of voices, the chant of the Christmas angels singing home the
-Homeless One, and in that flood of light and song all that city knew
-the Child they had lost their own, forever.
-
-Slowly, before the Bishop’s eyes, that gold radiance dimmed into the
-bleak gray twilight that was stealing over his room. Sharp as life
-shall strike at visions came a sound from below that struck the dreamy
-smile from his lips, leaving a twitching pain; certain sounds had that
-power of intolerable renewal. A homely enough sound, merely the thud
-of a lid dropped upon a flour bin, but it seemed now to be a flour bin
-in a doll-house pantry in their first Rectory, his and Annie’s. He
-would seek her there before going out to his parish calls. She would be
-standing with her back to him, hands deep in dough, and would turn to
-him her cheek, olive that always went rose beneath his kiss. He could
-still hear the catch of her breath as she whispered good-by, for Annie,
-deeply joyous, had yet always treated joy a little apprehensively,
-as if knowing it would not last so very long. Looking back over many
-years, the Bishop thought how young Annie had been when she died, and
-Nan had been younger still. Nan! There it was again! That flash of hot
-pain through his head, followed by a numbing dullness, even stranger
-to bear. He had felt this several times of late. The Bishop ran a hand
-over his forehead. He seemed to be floating far, without thought, yet
-this was not sleep. Slowly, slowly, he drew back, but his thoughts
-were heavy, not clear. He seemed to lie there waiting, waiting for
-something. Surely thus he had always waited on Christmas morning. He
-listened. It would come in a moment. There! A scurry along the hall,
-the clatter of the door-handle, a rush, a jump, curls, lips, bubbling
-chuckles, little cold toes to be warmed in his hand! Hear the shouts
-and the singing of her, feel the pummelling of her little hands!
-
-“Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!” shrilling straight up to the angels!
-Was she not Christmas joy turned mad, his little girl!
-
-He was full awake now. His lips formed a word. We are very weary of old
-pain repeated when we whisper out to God like that.
-
-The Bishop wondered why people say that one grows used to loss, and
-that old age grows dull in feeling. Still he had got used to it, of
-course. This was Christmas, too; it was quite natural that he should
-feel it more on Christmas. He must be a little patient then with
-himself about it, perhaps, on Christmas. Yet when had there been a day
-when he had not missed them, his own!
-
-The Bishop turned toward the eastward window, and on his gray and
-beautiful face fell the gray and beautiful morning, for the Bishop was
-one who had made God a habit, so that he turned to Him instinctively
-without thinking about it at all. And since also he was a man of quick
-visual imagination he thought of God quite simply: he saw Him standing
-there, between the bed and the brightening window, in the form of a
-young Jewish rabbi. He always stood there, to greet the Bishop’s day.
-Together they always went about, step matching step, so that the Bishop
-was never a lonely man. To himself he always thought of the Nazarene as
-the Friend, because, so he thought, it was by loneliness that Jesus had
-learned how to love. Since the Bishop always thought in words and in
-pictures, it seemed to him that the Friend said to him now, “Rise. Let
-us go forth into the morning. It is Christmas. It is the day of giving.”
-
-While he dressed, the Bishop still knew God standing there, but felt
-rather than seen, being lost sometimes in mist and dizziness. The
-spaces in the room were strange; it was a very long journey to the
-washstand, and the white window squares seemed to advance and then
-recede. The Bishop could see his brush plainly enough on the bureau
-scarf, but it was a long time before he could make his hand reach it.
-He had to smile quaintly at himself at last, for he was sitting on
-the bed mechanically counting the flower baskets in the worn Brussels
-carpet, flower baskets that ran diagonally to the chair holding his
-coat. Groping a little, the Bishop achieved the coat, then stood
-trembling. Undoubtedly he was ill that morning, but Mrs. Graham should
-not know it! For he must go out, he must go to church, there was no
-service in all the year so dear to him as the Christmas communion at
-St. John’s. He would force his blurring head to go through with it,
-and Mrs. Graham should not keep him in! Keep him in! A frown twitched
-on his forehead, an old man’s helplessness at the thought of coddling.
-Why should a woman he had known but three years be so solicitous over
-his health, dictating about his rubbers and his socks--he was not ill,
-nor was he so very old! At that his brow cleared in a sunny flash of
-amusement, for of course, he was very old, eighty-one, and besides
-Mrs. Graham was very good to him. Still to-day she must not keep him
-at home, for to stand once more within the rail offering the chalice
-to his people had become a deep and blind desire, overmastering all
-sense of weakness. Besides, there were other matters and grave ones to
-be seen to, to-day. Somehow--he looked toward the eastward window--the
-strength would come for the day, as it always came.
-
-Slowly, while he stood looking out into the morning grown rosy now with
-the coming sun, his head cleared more and more, as he thought about his
-Westbury as it brightened beneath the Christmas sunrise. Few towns, the
-Bishop thought, had changed so little in sixty years. He looked out on
-the same Westbury he had first seen when he had come to St. John’s
-college as a boy. Stately old River Street with its twin rows of elms
-still curved to the curve of the river. Each quiet old house had in the
-rear a terraced wintry garden sloping to the wide and sparkling water.
-The Bishop knew each of these houses, even as far as Lucy Hollister’s,
-which was beyond his sight. Lucy still kept the house of her girlhood
-where the Bishop had first known her, known Lucy and her cousin, Annie.
-Far beyond Lucy’s house, River Street changed to towering tenements and
-grimed factories, the place of the strangers, where the Bishop often
-walked, but wistful and puzzled, for it was this part of Westbury alone
-that had changed since his boyhood, although even then it had been the
-place of work-people, for whom St. John’s Southside Mission had been
-founded. The Bishop stood thinking of the mission.
-
-Well in sight, breaking the row of houses set among their wintry trees,
-sprang the spire of St. John’s, and beyond its Rectory lay the brown,
-cube-like buildings of the college above the sweeping river, a small
-college of mighty men. It was there that the Bishop and his roommate,
-Barty Judd, had learned to dream dreams. It was the glory of Westbury,
-the kindly old city, remote, unworldly, that it had set so many young
-men dreaming. The Bishop smiled to think how proudly Westbury still
-pointed to its seven bishops, for the spirit of Westbury had not
-changed in all the sixty years since the founding of the mission.
-Westbury had given the Bishop, he thought, the most beautiful thing in
-his life; it was this that brought the light to his face as he thought
-of the gift he wished to give Westbury in return, to-day, if--if he
-could! At that “if” his eyes deepened with a sharp and subtle change,
-then cleared as the passing thought of the day before him yielded
-to memories, and he saw the afternoon of the laying of the mission
-corner-stone. As they had walked home together, the Bishop, after long
-silence, had broken into boyish fire of words, seeing all his life
-before him. Lucy had listened and answered, but Annie had been silent.
-
-Dreamer as the boy had been, he had never dreamed of coming back one
-day, long afterwards, and living to be an old, old man in the bishop’s
-house in Westbury.
-
-The sun was climbing to a golden blaze now, filling with hope the
-day before the Bishop. He was always a good deal of a child in his
-Christmas feeling. There was work before him on this Christmas day, in
-his own house and out of it. Quite simply he closed his eyes a moment,
-with bowed head, thinking of the Westbury he loved and of three within
-it, whom he should see that day.
-
-The Bishop’s tall figure swayed a little as he grasped the stair
-rail, and for an instant his gaze was vague upon the dusky hall, upon
-the gloomy wall-paper, the threadbare carpet. It was a gray and worn
-old house in which the Bishop’s soul was harbored. A succession of
-housekeepers, under the oversight of Mrs. Hollister, kept it in order,
-but it needs the authority of kinship to change a wall-paper or a
-carpet. Thus it was that the Bishop’s long hallway was hardly more his
-own than the pavement outside, or his own dining-room door before which
-he paused, hardly more his own than the doors along his familiar River
-Street. His hand lingered on the knob, for, thinking of Mrs. Graham
-within, and of the testing now of his three years’ hope, he had grown
-apprehensive and wistful. Then his face flashed firm in a smile, as he
-looked toward Someone beside him there in the dim hall. That little way
-of looking toward the Friend with a quick upward smile was one of the
-Bishop’s habits engendered by solitude. He never meant to betray his
-thought publicly, yet sometimes wayfarers in the train, on the street,
-were startled at the sudden passing of strange light across the gray
-face, making it, as now in the opening doorway, the face of a little
-child. The Bishop bent toward the black-clad little woman before him
-the bow that belonged to the days of his youth. Age had stooped his
-shoulders, but never stiffened their grace, nor that of the sweep of
-his extended hand. His face--lean, clear-chiselled, blue-eyed, and
-heavily thatched with white--was ashine with Christmas greeting.
-
-“I wish you a beautiful Christmas!” he said.
-
-Mrs. Graham’s glance met the Bishop’s furtively. She had restless brown
-eyes beneath a tranquil parting of brown hair, curling and lightly
-silvered. Her mouth looked as if locked upon discontent. She was a
-stout, rosy little woman who moved in a heavy, bustling manner. She put
-her hand into the Bishop’s awkwardly, never having become accustomed to
-one who shook hands as a morning greeting.
-
-“Merry Christmas,” she murmured perfunctorily, as, in the holiday
-absence of a maid, she turned toward the business of the Bishop’s
-breakfast. The raised slide of the dumb-waiter made a gap in the
-solid paneling of dark cupboards occupying one wall. Like other
-dining-rooms on River Street, the room had two long windows looking
-toward the water. There was a wide piazza beyond them, hung with the
-gnarly ropes of leafless Virginia creeper. It was a dark-wainscoted
-room, but now the level eastern sun flooded it, and there was a great
-crimson spot of roses at the Bishop’s plate. The table was set for
-one, he noticed; when Maria was away, Mrs. Graham insisted on serving
-him with her own hands, instead of settling comfortably into her usual
-seat. In the silent room, only the sound of the dumb waiter that
-creaked and rattled, but the Bishop was waiting to speak, after the
-long patience of three years. When his breakfast had been set forth to
-her satisfaction, Mrs. Graham sank upon the edge of a chair near the
-window, keeping an alert eye on the Bishop’s needs, but having also an
-air of absence.
-
-“Well,” she burst out at last, “so it’s Christmas again!”
-
-“Yes,” the Bishop smiled, “‘again.’ It comes around pretty often,
-doesn’t it? This is your third Christmas in Westbury.”
-
-“I wonder how many more I’ll have, in Westbury.”
-
-“Is it such a bad place to spend Christmas in then, Westbury?”
-
-“Bad for me, yes! After Fair Orchard!”
-
-“But I had hoped you had begun to feel at home in Westbury.”
-
-“Me! At home! In Westbury! No, I’ve no place here and never can have.
-I see that plain enough,--just a housekeeper, anyway! I’ve no place
-in the place, I mean, like at home! Oh, there’s no harm in Westbury!
-It’s not as bad as some towns. There’s show here, but it’s not showy;
-there’s money, but there’s manners, too! Only there’s no _heart_ in the
-place! How could there be, with Dr. Newbold running the church and Mrs.
-Hollister running society?”
-
-“They both have hearts, I am sure, Mrs. Graham.”
-
-“Maybe. Not for plain people, or poor people, though. Maybe for you.
-Although Dr. Newbold--” she broke off sharply, teeth on lip, while her
-eyes, too full and bright with meaning, changed before the Bishop’s
-gaze, and she altered her unspoken sentence, concluding, “Dr. Newbold
-suits the place all right. He don’t suit me, that’s all. It’s kind of
-spoiled church for me, going to St. John’s, and church in Fair Orchard
-was such a lot to me. It’s queer when you always hear about Westbury
-being such a strong church place that it should have spoiled church
-for me. It’s all right when you preach, of course, Bishop, but it’s
-something else I’m talking about. It was different at home--oh,” her
-rosy face darkened savagely, “sometimes it seems as if my church was
-just another of the things she’s taken from me along with my home and
-my boy!”
-
-The Bishop closed his eyes an instant, seeking counsel.
-
-“It’s Christmas that upsets me so! Christmas that brings it all back on
-me so. And then to-day she sent, Florence herself, she sent the baby’s
-picture on a post-card. It’s signed ‘From Florence.’ You’d think after
-all that’s happened, she’d have let Dan send it, the first word I’ve
-had from either of them for three years!”
-
-She rose and filled the coffee cup abruptly. “Well,” she jerked the
-words out, “Christmas and other days, I’ve got to grin and bear it,
-being turned out by my son’s wife. But it’s been worse since there was
-a baby.”
-
-“It’s the baby’s first Christmas,” mused the Bishop.
-
-“Yes, he’s seven months and sixteen days old.”
-
-The Bishop smiled up at her, “May I see him? Where is the picture?”
-
-She laid it before him. The Bishop adjusted his glasses, then removed
-them to look from the picture to a keen scrutiny of the grandmother’s
-face.
-
-“Yes,” she answered his look. “You see it then? The baby looks like us,
-like Dan and me. And I can see Dan’s father in him, too. There’s not a
-hair of him that looks like the Reynoldses,--that lot!”
-
-The Bishop was examining the photograph minutely. Mrs. Graham looked
-over his shoulder, but at his next word she moved away again. “That’s
-his mother’s hand holding him, isn’t it, that shadow under his arm?”
-
-“Yes! His mother’s hand! He looks like us, but he don’t belong to us!
-He’s hers!”
-
-The Bishop glanced up, “And I suppose he’s also the other
-grandmother’s.”
-
-“No! Florence has no mother. I’m all the grandmother that baby’s got!”
-
-“I think you never told me that before,” he paused thoughtfully, then
-looking over to her standing by the window, he said, feeling slowly for
-words, “So the baby’s mother, that girl out at Fair-Orchard, has had no
-mother--to go with her--on that way--a woman goes, to bring home, a
-little child?”
-
-The Bishop’s voice was soft with the awe of many years ago. The
-grandmother flushed, muttering, “She would not have wanted _me_. She
-had Dan.”
-
-The Bishop’s eyelids had fallen, quivering, over his eyes. He was far
-away; again he watched with Annie, with Nan, as he said, “But men
-cannot understand. God does not mean them to. Such things are a secret
-between God and women, like the coming of Mary’s little child. Each
-mother needs a mother then. It was not--it was not till then that I
-understood how much my Nan had lost when she lost her mother.”
-
-“It did not live, did it, at all, your daughter’s child?” whispered
-Mrs. Graham.
-
-The Bishop shook his head, not speaking, thinking of the little waxen
-loveliness they had laid to sleep with Nan in the hollow of her
-arm. His lips showed their rare palsied trembling, murmuring, “Both
-together, Nan and the little one. She had been so well! I was not
-prepared--” the eyelids of his quiet gray face trembled, then opened
-on the blue eyes, as he said, “Of course, we know they do not die.
-They are alive, somewhere where the dreams come true that we dream
-for our children.” He smiled into her eyes, “For we are great old
-dreamers, aren’t we, we grandparents?” He raised his hand from the
-chair-arm, as if it would have pleaded, “But I think each mother needs
-the grandmother to help her dream. I think she is wanting you now, that
-Florence out there.”
-
-She faced sharp about, “Florence! Want me!” She looked at him in grim
-pity at his simplicity. “No, Bishop, Florence don’t want me! No more
-than I want her! We’re misfits, Florence and me,--worse luck for Dan,
-and for me, and for the baby, too, now!”
-
-The blue eyes a-twinkle, “And worse luck for Florence, too,” he
-persisted. “She sent you the picture. Wasn’t it perhaps to say that she
-wants to show you the baby himself?”
-
-“It’s like you to think that, Bishop, but it’s not like Florence to
-mean that. I understand Florence! I can still see her face plain, that
-last morning!”
-
-“You have not seen her face since there was a baby. Perhaps she
-understands you, too, now. Perhaps she understands, now, what it costs,
-to give up an only child to anyone.”
-
-“That’s it, of course, that’s what finished me up, her getting Dan, the
-way she has. I guess I seem pretty mean to you, but Dan was all I had.”
-
-“I think I understand,” the Bishop said quietly.
-
-Arrested by his tone she turned, “Was he good, your daughter’s husband?
-Did you get on with him?”
-
-“No one is good enough for an only child. Yes, he was good. He--he has
-been remarried for a long time, you know.” He spoke with long pauses,
-remembering, “Yes, I got on with him. I should have lost my daughter if
-I hadn’t. We had one happy year, together. Getting on is hard. But not
-getting on is harder.”
-
-She did not speak, turned from him again toward the window, intent,
-musing.
-
-“Isn’t it,” he pleaded, “harder?”
-
-“You didn’t have to,” she spoke chokily, “get on with Florence! Maybe
-you could, though, you, Bishop. But I couldn’t! You couldn’t maybe
-understand how I can’t forgive her for all that she’s taken from me,--a
-man couldn’t maybe understand, even you. It’s the mother working in
-me. They used to laugh at me over home, and say I mothered all the
-village. Yet now I can’t get at Dan, nor at the baby. I haven’t anyone
-to mother, and it seems as if it makes me sort of,” she struck away a
-tear with an awkward gesture, “sort of smothery!”
-
-His eyes bent on her in sharp intentness, “There is someone for you to
-mother!” he said.
-
-“Who?”
-
-“Florence!”
-
-“Florence!” her voice hissed.
-
-“Yes!”
-
-Her trembling lips turned hard, “I guess I’d have to forgive her first!”
-
-“Couldn’t you?” he questioned, while the blue eyes grew softly a-shine.
-“Couldn’t you, to-day? Couldn’t you, for instance, go out to them to
-spend Christmas, to-day?” His plan, long suppressed, came hurrying
-forth. “It’s so near, and so easy! Only thirty miles to that baby!
-The train leaves at ten, you have time. There’s another train back at
-seven-two. And you needn’t mind about me. I shall be out all day, first
-a visit I must make, then the service, and afterward I dine with Mrs.
-Hollister. You are quite free, you see, to go!”
-
-“I’m free enough, yes,” she admitted, “but I haven’t the will to go,
-that’s all.”
-
-“To the baby?”
-
-“To Florence! It would mean making up with Florence!”
-
-Lips and eyes showed a quick pleading smile as he said, “Isn’t that
-perhaps what Christmas and babies are for, for making up?”
-
-She was silent, her breast in its tightly hooked black rose and
-fell. “But people!” she broke forth at length. “Everybody knowing!
-The village knows I was turned out, and that there’s not been a word
-between us for three years. I can’t go crawling back now, just because
-there’s a baby come,--everybody looking on, everybody knowing!”
-
-“It isn’t everybody’s baby. It’s yours, and hers,” then gravely, “I
-was not thinking of other people. I was just thinking how much she
-needs her mother, that girl!”
-
-“Florence!” she said, and there were many thoughts in her tone, slow,
-incredulous.
-
-The Bishop’s eyes grew remote and bright, seeing Florence. He spoke
-a little dreamily, “She needs you now, and she knows she needs you!
-She may have been hard once, being young and without a mother. She
-may have been cruel. It is different now. She does not feel so secure
-now. They are so afraid for their babies, don’t you remember, always,
-these little new mothers. There are so many dangers lying in wait for
-the little men before they’ve got their armor on. There must be advice
-to give, and care to give--oh, Florence knows how much he needs his
-grandmother! Go and see. Can’t you? Couldn’t you? I--I’m in such a
-hurry to have you go!”
-
-“If I could only hold him once, Dan’s baby!”
-
-“Florence’s baby, too,” he corrected gently.
-
-The brief light swept from her face. Her plump comfortable hands were
-knotted, and her round face drawn into dignity by pain. Her words were
-grave and final, “The way to that baby is only through Florence, so I
-can never go. I can never have him.”
-
-Involuntarily the Bishop’s hand went to his temple in a gesture of
-pain, then instantly was forced down. He hesitated, then at length,
-“‘Never’ is such a long word,” he said. “Sometimes God says it for us,
-but don’t--don’t let us ever say it for ourselves! You know,” a passing
-tremor ran along his lips, “He didn’t let me have the grandchild
-I hoped for, but don’t--don’t lose having yours. It seems as if I
-couldn’t let you go on losing,--that. I am in such a hurry somehow
-to-day. Can’t you go out there to-day, now? Take the baby the Christmas
-present his mother most wants for him, take him his grandmother!”
-
-She turned on him, intense, “Bishop, do you know what it’s like to make
-up with a person who’s done you wrong? Do you know what it feels like
-to forgive? A person who’d hurt you? Where you care most?”
-
-A moment he groped in past experience for the answer, then in a rush of
-realization it came upon him. He rose a little unsteadily, that he,
-too, might stand to face her, as she stood by the curtained recess of
-the window, where the searchlight of the Christmas sun fell relentless
-on the drawn intensity of her plump face. The Bishop’s lean, corded
-hands rested on the two ebony knobs of the chair back. He did not
-notice, nor did she, that he swayed slightly with a passing dizziness.
-
-“Yes,” he answered slowly, thinking of one he soon must see to-day, “I
-know how it feels. Yes, I have had to learn, how to forgive--where I
-cared most!”
-
-“How did you make yourself do it? How?”
-
-He would have evaded if he could. “I only know the old way,” he said
-humbly, for the Bishop was shy in speaking of some things, as one is
-shy in speaking about any friend in his presence.
-
-“Tell me how!”
-
-“I only know one way,” he repeated simply. “We all get at the truth
-from different angles, so there may be many ways to learn to forgive,
-but I can only tell you about the way that I have tried.” The Bishop
-was so old that often, as now, his eyes showed the reflection of the
-harbor-lights in view. As always in his sermons, he had now lost, in
-his very consciousness of their needs, the presence of his audience in
-the overwhelming Presence of which he forced himself to speak, “The
-way I have found is to try always to see through His eyes. I think He
-is always very near us, trying always to lift us to the level of His
-eyes, so that we can look forth from that point of view. I think He is
-always trying and trying to say things to us to excuse--the people who
-have hurt us. If only we could clear our ears to hear Him! If only we
-could stand at the level of His outlook into souls! Then we should see
-so much that’s pitiable and excusable, so many handicaps and mistakes,
-so much to make us sorry for them that we couldn’t help forgiving. He
-always saw enough in every soul to make Him patient, and if we don’t
-see enough to make us patient, too, we have to trust His vision and
-insight, and forgive because He does.
-
-“Yet it is hardest,” the Bishop’s face showed a passing shadow, as he
-looked inward upon past struggles and forward to that next interview
-of his Christmas Day, “to forgive those who hurt _Him_, His work. Yet
-he forgave even that, upon His cross. When we remember that, I do
-not know how I--how we--_dare_ not to forgive.” He paused, while his
-fingers on the black knobs tightened, then the shadow of his face was
-struck away by the quick sunshine of reassurance. He looked toward
-Mrs. Graham, “You see,” he said, “it seems to me that if God in all
-His eternity has no time to be stern, then perhaps we--who have such
-a little while! have no time for anything but loving. Don’t you,” he
-pleaded, “don’t you think so, too?”
-
-The ruddiness had paled from her cheeks. She was looking at him with
-wide, intense eyes.
-
-“That’s your way, Bishop. But it’s what I couldn’t--ever climb up
-to,--I guess.” She had to fight to speak, against her choking breath,
-“I’m one of those you’ll have to forgive, I’m afraid, for not doing
-what you want. I wish I could, on your account. But it don’t seem as if
-I could make up with Florence. But I can’t bear that you should look
-like that, Bishop,--disappointed! Don’t, please don’t, mind! It’s just
-that I’m a mother who’s lost her boy, and wants him back and can’t get
-him, him and his baby!”
-
-“And yet,” he answered, “they are all there, all ready for you,
-waiting, wanting you, all there! It is, it is, too bad!”
-
-“Florence!” she whispered.
-
-“Needing and wanting you most of all. Seeing, by the way her little one
-needs her, how much she needs a mother. Perhaps mothering is your way
-of forgiving. Couldn’t you try it? Florence has never had a chance, has
-she, to learn many things, if she has been a motherless girl? Perhaps
-she did hate you once. I don’t believe she hates anyone now. It’s very
-hard to hate when there’s a baby in the house. She sent the picture.
-She needs you. She knows she needs you, for she knows now what a child
-can miss who has no mother. Let us think of all she has missed, and not
-be too hard on her, you and I, any more.”
-
-She was silent, one hand tense upon the curtain cord.
-
-“It’s such a good day to go,” he urged, “such a good day to do the
-unexpected, Christmas! Everyone expects the unexpected, on Christmas.”
-
-A comical smile worked on her set face, “You do, anyway, Bishop!” she
-said with a catch in the throat.
-
-“I think I did allow myself to expect this,” he answered, “this
-making-up. Perhaps I expected it because I wanted it so, for I’ve been
-in such a hurry somehow, about that baby. Why, he’ll be growing up,
-while we’re still talking. You have three-quarters of an hour,” he
-glanced at the clock in quick remembrance of the visit to Dr. Newbold
-before church-time, “and you’ll go?”
-
-He waited.
-
-She was silent still, until she burst out, “I can’t! I’d say ‘yes’ if
-I could, when you beg me so. But I can’t say it, and I’ve got to be
-honest with you. I can’t say it!”
-
-Her face, working with sobs she forced down, was too painful to look
-at, yet it gave no hope.
-
-“I am very sorry,” he said quietly and turning went into the great
-study adjoining, which faced, like the dining-room, on the veranda and
-river. Suddenly very tired, he sank into his desk chair, pressing the
-tips of his fingers to his temples, which had such a painful way of
-throbbing every little while this morning.
-
-“I did want it very much,” he acknowledged to himself, “very much.” He
-sat thinking, for some moments, then remembering, rose and went into
-the hall to put on his overcoat, whispering, “But it happened to Him
-like this always--always!”
-
-About to go out into the street, he turned back. The dining-room door
-was shut. He opened it. Mrs. Graham was still standing in the window
-recess, her forehead pressed to the cooling pane. There was no one
-to see her face. Common-place, coarse, ugly with tears, lights were
-trembling across it. “If she needs me,” she was whispering, “if she
-needs me,--” for a holy thing was being born.
-
-In the doorway, wearing his old cape overcoat, his face like a wistful
-child’s beneath his silver hair, the Bishop waited.
-
-“You will go?”
-
-She did not hear, nor know. She did not move until she started at a
-sound, the heavy closing of the outer door.
-
-
-
-
-PART II
-
-
-The river was a splendor of Christmas sunshine. A flurry of snow had
-lightly powdered the brown sod beneath the double rows of elms. Few
-people were abroad. Sometimes a little group of children, eyes and feet
-a-dance, and cheeks nipped red, went tripping past the Bishop. Older
-folk passed with hearty, careless greeting, for the stooping figure
-in the cape overcoat was as familiar and unnoted as the river itself
-with all its mystery of light. The Bishop had known Westbury so long
-and so well that he felt that the homes by which he was passing, all
-bright with holly, were his homes, that he might have stopped anywhere
-to share the Christmasing. His slowly pacing feet, however, were bent
-on the old way toward St. John’s Rectory. In the old days the Bishop
-had always called at the Rectory to greet Barty Judd and his household
-before church-time, and he still kept to the habit, even though it was
-so different now at the Rectory.
-
-A flock of sparrows came swooping down through the wintry silence
-with much chatter, and at the same time there came scudding across
-the street a little Italian newsboy as shrill and brown as the birds.
-The Bishop bought a paper, and made the youngster’s smile flash as he
-paused for a few words in his own tongue. Presently, as he went on, the
-newspaper dropped from the Bishop’s fingers, as he fell to thinking of
-that alien colony down below there, where the river curved, Westbury’s
-strangers. They had come so recently, the factories had sprung up so
-quickly, that the workers were still the strangers. It is true that the
-Bishop was well known to those teeming streets as the old man who spoke
-Italian and who loved babies, but he felt that he had done nothing for
-these others, really. Eighty years! How barren of accomplishment they
-looked beneath the searchlight of Christmas! But perhaps there was
-still time! His step quickened.
-
-As the Bishop passed beneath the shadow of St. John’s church, the
-chimes clanged forth the ten o’clock hour. He glanced toward the door,
-thinking how calm and gentle and familiar everything was within. After
-all, his headache had melted away and nothing was to prevent his
-presence by the altar on this morning. The quiet of the chancel was
-restful to his fancy, lying beyond the visit immediately before him.
-
-As he turned up the Rectory steps, tugging slightly on the handrail,
-the door was flung open, and a tall boy came hurrying out. His thin,
-fine face was set and black, but a smile played across its frown when
-he saw the Bishop.
-
-“Good morning, Harry,” said the visitor, “and good Christmas.”
-
-“There’ll be no good Christmas here,” answered the low taut voice,
-“unless you’ve brought it, Bishop!”
-
-“No trouble here to-day, I hope?”
-
-“Trouble every day, now!” Then remembering dignity, Harry shut his
-lips, adding more calmly, “Father is not well this morning, Bishop. I
-am just going out to tell Mr. Edgerton that he does not feel able to be
-at church.”
-
-“I am very sorry.”
-
-“I’m sorry, too,--sorry for mother and Lois! I am glad you’ve come. It
-will do them good to see you.”
-
-“And may I see your father, too?”
-
-“I think so, if you wish it. I shouldn’t wish it!” Harry murmured
-darkly, as he turned about to unlock the door he had slammed, calling
-in a low note of warning to his mother, and then leaving the Bishop
-with her in the drawing-room. The shades had been pulled down, the
-holly wreaths looked dull. A little mouse of a girl came out of a
-shadowy corner, and the mother’s arm went about the child’s shoulders
-as the two greeted the Bishop. They both had thin dark faces and
-intense brown eyes. The girl’s hair was dusky and the mother’s silver,
-above a forehead worn but unwrinkled. The girl’s dress was white and
-the mother’s clinging gray, and both wore sprays of blood-red holly.
-
-“Christmas joy to you both,” smiled the Bishop.
-
-“And happy Christmas to you, too, Bishop,” said the mother, while Lois
-took his hat and cane. He tugged helplessly at his overcoat so that
-they each sprang to pull at a sleeve.
-
-“Thank you. There! Don’t let yourself be eighty, Lois. It’s a sad thing
-to be older than your overcoat.” Then, seating himself, he continued,
-“Harry tells me his father is not well to-day. I am very sorry. I have
-been worried lately about him.”
-
-“We have all been worried. It is hard to understand. I suppose,” Mrs.
-Newbold smiled wanly, “it is just another case of ministerial nerves,
-but he suffers very much at times. I wish I could shield him from all
-worry, but I cannot always anticipate what is going to disturb him. We
-try, the children and I, but I fear we are very stupid. This morning,
-for instance--” she broke off, “this morning he felt quite unequal to
-the Christmas service, yet he is worried at not being there.”
-
-“Edgerton and I will manage the service. Dr. Newbold may be quite at
-ease about that. I hope--”
-
-A summoning bell from above rang sharply.
-
-Mrs. Newbold started, “Oh, Katie is at church,” she exclaimed. “Run,
-Lois! No, I’ll go myself!” With fingers upon the portière, however, she
-paused.
-
-The Bishop rose, an odd little flicker in his eyes. “Suppose I go,” he
-said, moving toward the hall.
-
-The wife looked at him, fighting for a tremulous smile. “There is
-nothing the matter really, of course. I shouldn’t let you go up. I know
-I ought to go. But--” she drew quick breath, concluding, “he’s in the
-study, Bishop.”
-
-Once again as earlier in the day, the Bishop paused before a closed
-door. An instant he stood there, hesitant, with bowed head, deeply
-thoughtful, then he knocked with firm hand.
-
-“Come in, of course,” a voice thundered. “Why else should I ring except
-for you to come in!”
-
-The Bishop was standing quietly in the doorway. At sight of him, the
-bulky form flung upon the couch sprang up.
-
-“I--I--beg your pardon. I thought it was the maid, or my wife.”
-
-“It is merely your bishop.”
-
-The Bishop’s quiet length sank into a deep chair. His long slim hands
-rested calmly upon the leather arms.
-
-Dr. Newbold sat bolt upright upon the couch, darting furtive glances at
-the Bishop from eyes too blue for his reddened face. His right hand,
-strong and square, clutched a cushion tensely. The nervous twitching of
-his lips redeemed from heaviness a face clean-shaven but always bearing
-the blue-black shadow of a heavy growth of beard. There was a pleasant
-sweep of brow beneath jet hair.
-
-“I am sorry you find me so upset this morning, Bishop. They perhaps
-told you downstairs--” then he paused, remembering what they might well
-have told the Bishop downstairs!
-
-“Harry told me you were ill. I met him going out.”
-
-“I judged that he had gone out. Harry’s sole comment on his father’s
-headaches is slamming the front door!”
-
-“The youngsters know so little about headaches,” answered the Bishop;
-“that is the trouble, then, this morning, headache?”
-
-“The headache is constant, back here, incessant. But this morning the
-trouble is,--a case of everything, as the doctor says.”
-
-“What does the doctor say? We must find some way of setting straight
-this case of everything.”
-
-“What they all say--nerves, rest, less work, less worry, fewer diocesan
-committees, fewer dinner parties--in Westbury where dining is a cult,
-and as venerable and as sacred as the church steeple! I might as well
-toss over one as the other! Suppose I did turn heretic, and refuse
-Mrs. Hollister’s invitation for Thursday! Could I preach beneath her
-withering glances next Sunday?
-
-“Or suppose I gave up my bridge with my Senior Warden. The Church needs
-more card-playing clergy, he says quite frankly. And I’m inclined to
-think, Bishop, that it does. A little more humoring of men of our good
-warden’s type, and perhaps Dr. Judd’s experiences would be less often
-repeated. Doctors and dinners be what they will--” mockery and worry
-both played about the heavy flexible lips, “I have the unfortunate
-close of that rectorate ever before me.”
-
-“You forget!” said the Bishop’s voice, low and keen. There was a tiny
-fleck of red upon his cheek bones. Dr. Judd’s forced resignation had
-been a matter of disagreement between the congregation of St. John’s
-and the Bishop. There was perhaps no connection between the action
-of the vestry and the fact that Dr. Newbold, immediately called to
-the parish, had been for years a friend of the Senior Warden, and a
-prominent co-worker with him in diocesan affairs; the wires of diocesan
-politics sometimes presented a strange network for feet like the
-Bishop’s.
-
-The Bishop was silent a moment, for the Rector’s hand, lying square
-upon the cushion, had recalled to him the days when he had sometimes
-involuntarily closed his eyes against the sight of his young
-secretary’s finger nails. It was an exquisitely kept hand nowadays, yet
-one that looked unhealthily inactive rather than sleek.
-
-“Well,” mused the Bishop, at last, “if one can’t cut out any of these
-social obligations, how about the committees?”
-
-Pity for the quick start and the flush of hurt pride, made him add
-instantly, “Not that the committees can spare _you_. The church needs
-you, and we should only be sparing you for a little while to save you
-for bigger service afterwards.”
-
-“I should regret,” replied Dr. Newbold firmly, while glancing down in
-some embarrassment, “withdrawing from any service to the diocese,--just
-now.”
-
-“Why just now?”
-
-The Rector lifted his lids for a quick glance, then dropped his eyes
-again to his uneasy foot, “The affairs of the diocese, as well as those
-of the church at large, are passing through a critical period.”
-
-“Sufficient to justify the loss of your health?”
-
-“I feel that the diocese needs me, Bishop.”
-
-“It needs us all.”
-
-“Particularly now,” repeated the Rector.
-
-A curious subtlety crossed the cameo clearness of the Bishop’s face,
-“But do you not feel that perhaps the need for your activity might be
-even greater later on?”
-
-“You mean--,” Newbold faltered, for simple folk like the Bishop were
-hard to fathom sometimes, even after twenty years of study.
-
-The Bishop’s smile showed, disarming, “I mean simply, lad--if I may
-call you that sometimes, on Christmas, say,--that the diocese can’t
-afford to have you break down. It needs, and will need you, too much
-for that. Therefore,--let the diocese take care of itself a little
-while.”
-
-“It’s been doing that too long,” the other broke forth, with the
-brutality of overwrought nerves.
-
-A shadow passed over the Bishop’s clear, gray face. Quick words caught
-with odd puckering upon his lips. He leaned his silver head against the
-high, dark chairback, long silent.
-
-“Is it really so bad as that, Newbold?” he asked at last. “What is it
-that is wrong?”
-
-“Our finances, for one thing. The treasurer’s last report--”
-
-“There must be finances, I suppose.”
-
-The other smiled his cynical, twitching smile, “If there’s to be a
-church at all there must be finances.” He spoke with the irritation
-belonging to many a former discussion.
-
-The Bishop’s inscrutable gaze rested long upon the Rector. “You are
-thinking, and rightly, that I am saved much because I have good
-laborers in the field to count the sheaves and the shekels? Believe me,
-Newbold, I know the value of your work to the diocese and I am sorry
-for the weariness of it.”
-
-The other’s face cleared in still uneasy relief. “I do not feel that
-I can withdraw from any office in the diocese, in the church, however
-small my service.”
-
-“It is not small. You are the most prominent man in the diocese. The
-most active. The most influential.”
-
-The other flushed with pleasure, yet regarded his guest enigmatically.
-“Those are cheering words, Bishop, for a day like this, of
-discouragement and--of pain.” His hand went to the throbbing disc at
-the back of his neck, as he added abruptly, “If what you say is true,
-Bishop, I am perhaps paying the price.”
-
-“I am afraid,” answered the Bishop gently, “that you are.”
-
-“One doesn’t expect the strings to snap at forty-five!” Newbold said
-querulously. “I could have swung a sledge once! I could still! Yet--it
-makes me wonder--I have wondered lately--what is the secret of your
-vitality, Bishop.”
-
-The flicker of a smile on the Bishop’s lips, “Yet I had thought,
-Newbold, that you did not think so highly of my vitality--that you
-thought it an ebbing flood, a year or two ago.”
-
-The other flushed to the brow.
-
-“It was for your own sake, Bishop, to save you the wear and tear of
-constant travel, constant work, that I urged upon the convention the
-election of a coadjutor.”
-
-“I wish you had done it not merely for my sake, but for the sake of the
-diocese and of the church.”
-
-“It was for that, too,” Newbold murmured.
-
-“It was at any rate not for my own sake that I refused to have an
-assistant,” the Bishop went on. “If I could have trusted the choice of
-my clergy! It is easy and natural, to choose the most popular, the most
-prominent. A bishop’s diocese is dearer than perhaps any one of his
-clergy can understand. It is my little piece of God’s world, it is my
-Westbury in large.
-
-“And my ways are the old ways. My assistant’s might have been the new.”
-He paused a moment chin on hand, then looked up quickly, “What are the
-new ways?” he asked. “For I suppose my successor will introduce them.”
-
-Newbold warmed instantly, moistening his twitching lips, “The ways
-first of all of economical administration. The church must show itself
-a good business if we want business men to respect it.”
-
-“Do we?”
-
-“Do we _not_?” Nervous lightnings leaped to Newbold’s eyes. “These are
-not days of sentimental idealism, of faiths that float in air. To-day a
-man wants to see his money’s worth in the church as well as out of it.
-The church,” he brought a tense fist down upon the cushion, “has become
-a business proposition!”
-
-The Bishop’s face was intent on Newbold, yet inward and remote. Then
-the blue eyes smiled, “Oh, but not in Westbury!” he pleaded. “We are
-not money-mad in Westbury!”
-
-“Because you have so much money! Have always had! Yet the purse-strings
-are the heart-strings in Westbury as elsewhere. Instance my vestry and
-the Southside Mission. Closed, three weeks ago. Westbury is wealthy but
-not wasteful. The mission was unsuccessful, therefore to be eliminated
-from the items of our expenditure. The need of St. John’s, economical
-organization, is merely an example of the needs of the diocese, and of
-the church at large.”
-
-“I think I was not, was I, officially told of the action of the church,
-in closing the mission?”
-
-The Rector stirred uneasily, then looked up with boyish directness, “I
-was remiss, Bishop, and I acknowledge it. But I knew the matter would
-need full explanation for you, and to be frank, I’ve postponed a good
-many things of late, simply because I felt paralysed before them. I’m
-all out of sorts, not myself at all. I can’t tell what’s the matter
-with me.”
-
-The Bishop, noting the sudden hysterical flabbiness of the whole face,
-recalled the man to firm thought.
-
-“The mission is permanently closed, then? That seems to me sad news for
-Christmas morning.”
-
-“Believe me, Bishop, I understand your feeling about it. I, too, regret
-the closing of the mission. I’ve positively enjoyed my work down there.”
-
-“I should think that you might have found the mission work almost
-restful after the other sort.”
-
-“It was restful. Strangely! They speak out down there, act out, too.
-The Southside caused me no night-long guessing, like my neighbors here.
-Yet I had no time for the mission, and lately no money either, for the
-work has become unpopular, quite naturally.”
-
-“Naturally?”
-
-“I mean the factories and the foreigners have obscured the native
-population for whom the mission was organized. Social conditions were
-different a few years ago. It was perfectly possible then for prominent
-members of St. John’s to work at the mission and yet preserve all the
-decencies of class distinction. The church would hardly expect a man
-of my Senior Warden’s type to organize clubs and classes for his own
-factory hands!”
-
-“Yet might not Christianity expect it?”
-
-“In these days, Bishop, I fear, Christianity and the church are two
-totally different propositions!”
-
-“You have not lost your power of frankness, Newbold!”
-
-A sudden shadow dropped over Newbold’s face. “Have I not?” he
-questioned himself darkly, then louder, “With you, Bishop, it is always
-curiously hard not to say what one thinks. Yet I don’t wish you to
-misunderstand me. I seem to want to be understood this morning. And
-you’re the only person in the universe, I believe, who’d take the
-trouble. It’s not, then, that I don’t myself believe the principles of
-the Christian religion.”
-
-A smile, infinitely sad and subtle, passed over the Bishop’s lips.
-“Since you are a minister of the Gospel,” he said gently, “one might
-hope that you believe it.”
-
-“I have come to believe a good bit of it.”
-
-“To believe enough, lad?”
-
-The Christmas bells had begun again. The voices of the churchgoers
-sounded on the clear air, but the Christmas visitor sat unheeding.
-
-The Rector’s voice was rasped with the tension of self-defense.
-“Unfortunately for his health and happiness, a minister of the Gospel
-has much more to think about than what he believes. He has to think
-what his own congregation is going to allow him to say and to do; he
-has to think what the church at large is going to allow him to say and
-to do. He has to think of the success of his own parish, and of the
-church, and of himself. All three must please the public or fail. Now
-my policy--”
-
-“Yes,” the Bishop commented quietly, “your policy? A man of growing
-influence, like yours, would naturally have outlined for himself his
-creed and his conduct.”
-
-“My conduct, assuredly, yes. It has been my endeavor ever since I
-entered the priesthood, and will always be my aim, to establish respect
-for the church, and its clergy, in the community, and in the world at
-large.”
-
-“And by what methods?”
-
-“The same that prevail in other organizations, sound business system,
-and the establishment of social dignity. We can’t expect our young men
-to be attracted to the ministry unless we can show them something in
-it worth getting,--they naturally want to get out of it reputation,
-success, social recognition, as in other professions.”
-
-“You have found those things yourself,” the Bishop’s tone was half
-comment, half question.
-
-“Yes,” answered Newbold, straightening, “I believe I can say that I
-have found those things. I started at least without them, as you must
-well remember--I was a raw enough youngster when I first came to you in
-Westbury--it is humorous to recall--” he laughed a sharp nervous laugh,
-then grew instantly grave, “I didn’t have much in those days, but I did
-have health.”
-
-“Yes,” the Bishop answered, “you did have,” he paused oddly--“health!”
-
-“I suppose, if the term had not been so much abused that I might
-truthfully call myself a self-made man. The church has done much for
-me. I am grateful,--with reservations! That is why I feel that in spite
-of these diabolic nerves of mine I must go on, must serve the church,
-the diocese, in its need.”
-
-“Yet you feel,” asked the Bishop wistfully, “that you cannot serve the
-Southside Mission?”
-
-Sharp sagacity instantly controlled Newbold’s garrulous nerves, “That
-was a principle of simple common sense, such as might well be applied
-to other die-away mission chapels in many a parish.”
-
-Very low the other voice, and far away, “Yet the poor are to have the
-Gospel preached to them.”
-
-“The parent church is open to them,” Newbold answered almost with
-petulance, “here as elsewhere.”
-
-“You mean,” the tone was strange, “that it would be your policy to
-close other missions, in other churches, throughout the diocese?”
-
-“It would be my policy,” replied Newbold, setting his heavy jaw, “to
-cut off all waste until we get our diocesan treasury out of debt. The
-church’s one foundation,” he added with that daring cynicism that
-delighted St. John’s in his sermons, “is at present sound finance.”
-
-It was a buffet across the Bishop’s face, making Newbold instantly
-protest, “It is not the mere money. It is the deep unpopularity of such
-missions as the Southside with such congregations as St. John’s. Am I
-to go against my vestry and retain my position? Am I to be a Dr. Judd?”
-
-“You are afraid?”
-
-“Afraid! Impossible! For a man of my make-up,” he smiled in honest
-amusement, wetting his lips, “I merely have the sense not to become
-voluntarily unpopular. What can a man do in the face of unpopularity?
-His hands are tied. He is helpless.”
-
-The room and the man before him sank like a picture curtained from
-the Bishop’s sight. With wide strange eyes he saw another picture. He
-was unconscious of his words, “_His_ hands were tied, in the face of
-unpopularity! Yet He preached the Gospel to the poor,--and to the rich,
-to the poor rich!”
-
-There was a long uncomfortable silence, during which the Bishop rested
-his head against the chair-back, waxen eyelids closed. Newbold studied
-the silent, sculptured face so long that at last for pure uneasiness he
-faltered, “I own, Bishop, that I’m no idealist.”
-
-The Bishop opened far, clear eyes, “What are you?”
-
-There was a long pause, then still in that far, clear voice, speaking
-quite to himself the Bishop said, “Yet you will be--”
-
-The room, embrowned, closed against the Christmas sun, dusky with many
-books, held the two men, who faced each other as once in a lifetime men
-may.
-
-The Bishop completed his own sentence, “You will be--my successor!”
-
-It was quite silent now, for the bells had ceased and the chat of
-church-goers. The chancel of St. John’s was only a stone’s throw from
-the chair where the Bishop sat, yet it was far from him, the chancel
-with its peace. But he could still get to church, although late, in
-time for the communion. One more Christmas sacrament was before him, if
-only he could hold his brain clear and his body taut, through one short
-hour more, against the sudden blurring pain in his head.
-
-The silence of the study still quivered with the Bishop’s last words,
-“My successor!”
-
-Newbold sat facing the fact never before so clearly stated by anyone,
-not even by himself, but clear to him now as the goal of his clumsy,
-forceful youth, of his anxious, successful ministry, a goal almost
-near enough now to touch, perhaps. He could not take his eyes from
-the Bishop’s face, transparent as porcelain, now turned into a mask,
-impenetrable.
-
-“I would not be your choice, Bishop?”
-
-The straight line of the Bishop’s lips formed a quiet, “No!”
-
-“And likely enough, I may be nobody else’s choice either--in spite
-of--services rendered!” Then querulous before that intent, gray face
-that gave no sign, “It’s small odds what happens, with this head of
-mine! Yet I have served and would gladly serve--”
-
-“God?” the Bishop lifted level eyes.
-
-Newbold’s thick lips formed for a quick reply, worked oddly, then were
-oddly dumb a moment before they twisted into a cynic curve from the
-large teeth. “Harry spoke to me with some frankness this morning. He
-had just left me when you came, Bishop, a different visitor, it seemed
-to me. A curious Christmas, verily, if you, too, like all the rest,
-think strange things of me!”
-
-“Strange things! Are they not true?”
-
-A rush of anger had swept the color to the Bishop’s cheeks and shot
-lightnings to his eyes. The years had fallen from his face like a
-veil snatched aside. Yet with a torrent of words upon his tongue, the
-Bishop, looking at Newbold, turned silent. There are some men to whom
-the sight of one who cringes before a blow deserved is humiliating
-to their own inmost manhood. The sight of Newbold seated there, from
-his bowed, brute head, with its too-blue, watching eyes, to his big
-foot that never ceased to tap the rug raspingly, had caused the
-Bishop a recoil for which he hated himself. Yet his anger was just,
-just! The Christ Himself had cried out against the hypocrite, against
-commercialism in spiritual places. The Bishop, of fine frail fiber as
-he was himself, remembered the charm for him of the youthful Newbold’s
-provincial crudity and heartiness,--but now, the Bishop thought
-bitterly, if one wished to make a minister of the gospel, one had
-better take a gentleman to start with!
-
-He had trusted Newbold at the first, as he might have trusted a son;
-he had forced himself to trust him afterwards, until this very day.
-Yet the Bishop now acknowledged that he had known well enough whose
-influence was at work in the diocese against his own, why certain
-motions he had desired were tabled in the convention, or if passed,
-only half-heartedly carried out. How hard the Bishop had fought not to
-be aware of a growing evil undercurrent in the spirit of diocesan work!
-He was far too sensitive not to have felt, as he talked with some of
-his prominent clergy and laity, his own great simple enthusiasm fall
-like a baffled flood against a politely concealed embarrassment he
-refused to understand! But he had understood! He knew now that he had.
-
-Oh, there were powers of evil militant against the faith, the work, to
-which he had given his life! He had tried not to see them, to believe
-each man good, especially this man. Yet in this moment it seemed to
-him that this Newbold, seated there, was the very cause of it all, of
-this dark Judas spirit that everywhere throughout the diocese mocked
-the loveliness of Christ within His very church! Again denunciation
-trembled like a lash, then again was restrained because of a certain
-dignity in the soul gazing so grimly from the bright-blue eyes, testing
-the Bishop. It was a face the Bishop had loved and it was haggard as a
-face in a fever picture.
-
-With all the power of vision innate in him the Bishop saw the facts of
-his failure. This was the man with whom, more than with any other, he
-had sought to share his service and his soul. They wore both of them
-the badge of God’s ministry, they were both of them the stewards of
-Christ’s mysteries; they sat now, after twenty years of friendship,
-two men girt in by four brief walls, yet far apart as two who do not
-speak each other’s tongue.
-
-The Bishop’s brow grew tense at the hard thought that it must have
-been all his own fault! He had walked, as he had thought, beside the
-Christ, the Friend, yet a man close to him as Newbold had perceived in
-the Bishop himself no reflection of that Beauty! Oh, it could not be!
-Newbold must understand! For the very loneliness of it, the Bishop’s
-face grew all wistfulness, as if a child, lost on a city street, should
-lift its face to a stranger, hungry for kinship. But for all his
-seeking the Bishop could not find the lad Newbold in the face before
-him, grown steel-tense with scrutiny.
-
-There was worse than this, too, as the Bishop looked, clear-eyed, on
-his failure. He must one day leave to this man his Westbury, if not, as
-chance and choice might direct, his diocese. It had been the Bishop’s
-comfort to believe, sensitive as he had been to the great currents
-of unrest and indifference in the world at large, that Westbury
-had remained exquisitely old-fashioned. Yet it was by the will of
-the congregation of St. John’s that the Southside Mission had been
-closed, the mission the Bishop had seen their fathers found, with free
-outpouring of themselves and their purses. Had the Westbury of to-day
-grown Judas-jealous of squandering both self and money? The Bishop must
-one day go forth from Westbury leaving it--nothing! And whose could be
-the fault but his own?
-
-And his failure with Newbold, his failure with Westbury, they were
-but typical of the failure of his work at large. Of all the gifts of
-mystery that God gives to man, surely the greatest is the mystery of
-failure! Wisdom inscrutable that commands work, yet enjoins failure!
-Mystery of mysteries, that a burning love for that Love Incarnate born
-at Bethlehem, could not break through the flesh to solace a world
-a-thirst! The Bishop had loved, yet he had failed to serve. He did not
-even know how to give peace, as from a chalice, to this harried soul
-before him.
-
-The worn gray face, intent, gave small clue to the thoughts within.
-Always Newbold watched, watched, waiting for a word. Which way would
-it swing, that word? His soul also was poised, waiting.
-
-The Bishop bowed his head upon his hand. He had never felt so utterly
-alone. Involuntarily, from sheer force of habit belonging to all his
-moments of unbearable solitude, the Bishop’s thought turned to the
-Friend. He had always understood, would He understand now, despair at
-failure to God’s trust?
-
-Suddenly the Bishop’s eyes opened wide and strange. He saw a
-storm-scourged hill, a mob. Understand failure? What man had ever
-loved like the Nazarene? What man had ever failed in such transcendent
-loneliness?
-
-The room fell quiet as a sanctuary. Awed with understanding, the Bishop
-closed his eyes, to be alone. His thought said, “All other things He
-has shared with me. He shares also this.”
-
-Quiet, long quiet, that at last grew a-throb with pulses. So many the
-mountains of Transfiguration, and at the bottom always the tumult and
-the faithlessness. The mental habit of many years steadied the Bishop
-as he drew slowly back to the actual: when some sorrow of his own grew
-too poignant to be borne, he always forced himself to go forth to the
-person nearest at hand, compelling his mind to the other’s affairs.
-Such effort, although at first it might be so perfunctory that he was
-ashamed, ended in full sincerity. Too tired to speak now, he smiled
-over to Newbold his old sunny smile, meaning that all was well between
-them.
-
-The tension of Newbold’s watching snapped like a spent cord. There was
-a change upon his face, a change in his voice, “Bishop, why did you
-come to me this morning? They must have told you downstairs that I did
-not wish to see anyone. Yet you came.”
-
-“I had a gift to bring.”
-
-“For me?”
-
-“Not now, I am afraid. Still I have no one else, lad, to leave it with.
-It is for Westbury.”
-
-“What gift?”
-
-“One I have been thinking of for a long time. You see Christmas always
-sets me dreaming, and in these last weeks I’ve been much shut in, so
-that I’ve had a good deal of time to look out of my window and to
-send my thoughts up and down the streets. I suppose it is because I
-have been about so little of late that I failed to hear of the closing
-of the mission, although I knew you were worried about the funds. So
-I’ve been happy with my plan. You’ve listened to my dreams before,”
-the Bishop smiled his little quick, appealing smile, “even though you
-haven’t always--” he broke off, a wistful twinkle of remembrance in
-his eyes. “I’m still an incorrigible visionary, you think, lad?” The
-twinkle died. “Perhaps I am!”
-
-“No!” cried Newbold, “No! I--I would have helped to carry out all
-your dreams, Bishop, if I could, if they’d been practical. Why,
-Bishop,” Newbold smiled the first real smile of the morning, “you’re
-irresistible as my Lois when you want things. Even Mrs. Hollister has
-to do what you want!”
-
-“Even Mrs. Hollister!” repeated the Bishop wonderingly. “But, of
-course, for she is my friend.”
-
-“You understand Mrs. Hollister better than I do, Bishop,” Newbold
-murmured darkly, then could have bitten his lip, for he saw on the
-Bishop’s face the fine, controlled recoil that told Newbold he had once
-again said something no real Westburian would have said. Clumsy again,
-when he was watching himself all the time! Oh, if there was one thing
-Newbold envied the Bishop, it was his inalienable social grace!
-
-The Bishop’s smile was strangely wrought of sun and sadness. “To go
-back to my dream,” he suggested, “so far from being prepared for the
-closing of the mission, I had actually been planning its enlargement.”
-He grew a little hesitant and shy, “You see I have a small private
-fortune, not very much, some sixty thousand. I have, as you know, no
-near relatives. I’m not much of a business man, as you are well aware,
-and I have also perhaps a foolish reluctance to leaving anything in
-the shape of a memorial, anything bearing my name,--yet it was here
-in Westbury, in St. John’s, and at the founding of the mission in the
-Southside sixty years ago, that there first came to me--the meaning of
-the Christian ministry.” A moment his eyes grew dream-bright, as he
-continued, “I’m so in the habit of trusting all money matters to you
-that I have simply had my will made out to you, without any stipulation
-as to the object--”
-
-“To me?”
-
-“In trust,” said the Bishop, “for Westbury.”
-
-“To me!”
-
-“I _must_ trust you, lad!”
-
-Newbold’s eyes, round with amazement, dropped before the pure flame of
-the Bishop’s.
-
-“I had thought,” the clear voice went on, “that you would be glad to
-have the management of this money for Westbury, because it was here in
-Westbury, and in St. John’s, and in work for the Southside, that you,
-too, twenty years ago, came to your first thoughts of the Christian
-ministry.”
-
-“Yes,” muttered Newbold, “twenty years ago!” His foot ceased to tap
-the floor. He sat straight, motionless, “What, Bishop, was your idea,
-exactly, for the use of this sixty thousand?”
-
-“My idea--I--I suppose it’s impractical now--was what I called it in my
-mind, the House of Friendship. Not, of course, that I want it called
-that in reality. That’s, of course,” he said in quick deprecation,
-“sentimental in sound, but that’s what I mean.”
-
-“Exactly what?” probed Newbold.
-
-“You know,” the other appealed whimsically, “I left all the details
-to you even in my plans. I thought I’d just explain the spirit of it.
-A House of Friendship, that is a settlement house, in connection with
-the chapel in the Southside, a house open to everybody, to the mothers
-and fathers and the babies and the little girls and the newsboys, and
-open--still more open--to the members of St. John’s over here, on River
-Street, so that the mission and the church might learn, from each
-other, to be friends. I haven’t gone into the details, although I want
-to, one of these days, when my head gets a little clearer. The main
-thing was that you should understand.”
-
-“And I am to understand that your will is made out to me, with no
-instructions as to the use of the money?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Does anyone know of your desire for the settlement house?”
-
-“No one. You were the only one who needed to know.”
-
-Newbold looked straight at his visitor. “Has it occurred to you,
-Bishop, that you are taking a great risk?”
-
-“What do you mean, lad?” asked the Bishop wonderingly.
-
-Newbold laughed, a laugh that rang true with honest amusement. “Well,
-hardly, as we both know, that I should make way with the money for my
-own ends, or that one cent of it shall be spent except for the object
-of your desire, but,--” his face grew grave and dark, “you imply, I
-think, something more. It is not merely the money that you leave in my
-charge, Bishop, but the work itself?”
-
-“I had always hoped, lad, to leave my work in your charge. In spirit,
-if not in actuality.”
-
-“Do you hope so this morning?”
-
-“May I hope so, Murray?” Once before, on the night of his ordination,
-the Bishop had called Newbold by his first name.
-
-Newbold’s answer was as direct to the soul as the Bishop’s question, “I
-don’t know!” Then sharp and querulous, “How could I? How can I?”
-
-The kindled hope on the Bishop’s face died like a quenched flame. In
-its stead slowly there grew in his eyes their great and brooding pity.
-“Lad, you’re tired to the depths this morning, and I am fretting you
-with the thought of new responsibilities. Forgive me. I hope that in
-eighty-one years I’ve learned to listen. Suppose you do the talking
-now. What are some of the bothers back of this headache?”
-
-“My head is the chief bother, back of all bothers! It won’t let me go
-on and I can’t stop!” Newbold sprang up and then reseated himself at
-his desk, sweeping a fret of papers aside so that some fell on the
-floor, then taking up a flexible paper cutter that he kept snapping in
-his hands while he swung the revolving chair slowly from side to side.
-“The truth is, I’ve been going down hill ever since I came here eight
-years ago. The air of Westbury is knocking me to pieces.”
-
-“Yet it agreed with you during your other stay here, twenty odd years
-ago.”
-
-“I was a boy then; I had a different body.”
-
-“And perhaps,” mused the Bishop, “a different soul.”
-
-“Oh, that!” cried Newbold with a shrug, then, “Do you suppose if I’d
-had my health, I’d ever have let the vestry bully me into giving up the
-Southside Mission!”
-
-“Yet I used to think sometimes that opposition was the breath of life
-to you. I wonder,” a flicker of whimsical humor in the blue eyes, “if
-perhaps it would still be the breath of life to you,--if you tried it!”
-
-“Can I fight a spirit in the air? Can I fight, of all things, mere
-amusement at enthusiasm? Can I fight the impenetrable self-satisfaction
-of Westbury?”
-
-“Yet I thought you were one who loved Westbury!”
-
-“I love it, yes! And I hate it!”
-
-“Yet Westbury has loved you and taken you in, as it once took me, also
-a stranger.”
-
-“It has never taken me in! Has Mrs. Hollister ever taken me in?”
-
-“Newbold, may I ask,” the Bishop sought to be patient with a resentful
-child, “whether Mrs. Hollister has ever shown you the slightest
-incivility?”
-
-“Never!” Newbold pressed his lips together in a curious grim smile. He
-studied the paper-knife in his hands intently, “Oh, no, I should not
-find fault with Westbury. It has given me what I wanted when I came
-here as a boy, to be rector of St. John’s. I did not perceive then the
-price a man pays to be rector of--a St. John’s.”
-
-“What price?”
-
-“The price of his freedom! There’s no way to please the congregation of
-St. John’s, except to _please_ them! I’ve learned the trick of that!
-Ah, commend me to the clergy as latter-day courtiers!” It was sentences
-such as these, applied in the chancel to his congregation, not to
-himself, that his people so enjoyed in his sermons, feeling him at one
-with them in a comfortable, workaday cynicism. Newbold’s words were
-pressed through closed teeth as he concluded, “But I despise my people!”
-
-“Your people of the Southside, too?”
-
-“They! Oh, no! Poor wretches! They are honest! I understand them! But
-it is the strain of trying to understand St. John’s that is killing
-me!” his hand went impatiently to his head.
-
-Serene and low the Bishop’s words, “Then why not go to your people of
-the Southside?”
-
-“And _leave St. John’s_?”
-
-“If you do not understand the people of St. John’s. If it is killing
-you.”
-
-“They would think me a madman!”
-
-“Does it matter, what they think?”
-
-“It has mattered,” Newbold replied grimly, “a good bit, for eight
-years!”
-
-“And where has that road brought us, lad?”
-
-Silence.
-
-Low, incisive against the stillness, the Bishop’s voice, “Verily you
-have _had_ your reward.”
-
-Newbold’s hands dropped to the desk motionless.
-
-“Yet even so, amid the praise of men, there was one man whose praise
-you never had.”
-
-Newbold lifted his eyes in interrogation.
-
-“Yourself!” the Bishop concluded.
-
-Suddenly Newbold’s face, set as marble, puckered unbearably. “There’s
-someone else, too!” Forcing the words out, he quoted, “‘I don’t care if
-you are a minister. I’m your son, and I know you’re a hypocrite!’ How’s
-that,” he was furious at the catch in his throat, “how’s that--for a
-speech--from an only son--on Christmas morning!”
-
-“It is not true, Murray!”
-
-“You are perhaps the only man who believes in me, Bishop.”
-
-“It is because I have known you longest.”
-
-“I am afraid the truth is that your namesake, my son, has the sharper
-eyes, as well as the sharper tongue. A son’s estimate of his father
-is doubtless the correct one. Yet it’s an ugly word--hypocrite! I
-confess it drew blood, and knocked me out for the day.” He looked oddly
-sheepish, boyish, in his confession, in spite of all the signs of
-torturing nerves upon a body too vigorous to take ill-health with any
-poise or patience. “You see I got up this morning feeling rather out
-of sorts. I hadn’t slept since twelve. I’ve been dreading the services
-more and more lately. I’m haunted by the idea of collapsing suddenly
-before the eyes of my congregation--those eyes!
-
-“Then breakfast was late. If only, only, only,” his heavy fist came
-down lightly but tensely upon the blotter, “the women would not look as
-if they expected a scene under such circumstances. I had meant to hold
-my tongue. But I didn’t. Nobody said anything, so I fancy I continued
-to fill in the pauses. Harry sat with a face that made me want to knock
-him down. It was afterwards that he spoke, a full hour afterwards, when
-I had managed to pull myself together and was on my way to church. He
-stopped me in the hall with ‘Going to the communion, father? After
-making mother and Lois feel like that?’ Then he added that little
-remark about hypocrisy, I came back upstairs, here. Presently you came.
-A highly successful Christmas! A merry family group, do you not think
-so, Bishop?”
-
-The Bishop had closed his eyes. This was the kind of thing that hurt
-his head, and he must keep his head clear, must! “Christmas is not half
-over,” he said, starting at the thought of the morning slipping by, and
-the church, so near, calling to him, “There is half of Christmas left!”
-
-“Half a day in which to teach my son to respect me!”
-
-“But this son is Harry. So it will not take so long.”
-
-“Harry is hard!”
-
-“He is generous!”
-
-“He never forgives!”
-
-“Have you ever asked him to forgive?”
-
-“My boy! No! I know him! He knows me!”
-
-“I think perhaps,” the Bishop said slowly, “you will never know Harry,
-nor he you, until you have asked of him forgiveness. It’s one of the
-test things, forgiveness. The boy will meet it. He has nobility, Harry,
-by inheritance.”
-
-“From his mother, yes.”
-
-“From his father, no less.”
-
-“They are their mother’s children, both of them,” Newbold murmured
-wearily.
-
-The Bishop’s face flashed radiant. His right hand lifted in a quick
-gesture. “Can any man say anything more beautiful than that?”
-
-“You mean,” stammered Newbold, “what?”
-
-“I think I only meant,” hesitated the Bishop, “that I felt just that
-way about my child, and her mother. They belonged to each other, not to
-me. I was only fit to try to take care of them.”
-
-“I have not taken,” said Newbold heavily, “much care of mine!”
-
-“Oh, lad, lad,” said the Bishop, “don’t waste that privilege. It
-never--it never has grown easy--for me to live without it.”
-
-Newbold’s words came in a whisper, to himself, “She does not expect it
-now. Perhaps she does not even wish it!”
-
-The Bishop leaned slightly forward in his chair. “Newbold,” he said
-firmly, “between you and Harry there must be words, as between men.
-But, for Lois and the mother, downstairs, have you anything to do but
-to stretch out your hand? It is one of their mysteries, that women
-always understand better without words.”
-
-Newbold dropped his forehead on interlaced fingers that concealed
-his face. He was long silent. His hands dropped at last from a face
-haggard, but a-shine with boyishness.
-
-“Bishop,” he said, “you’ve made me feel a whole lot better!”
-
-“I am glad!” For the first time in their talk the Bishop’s lip showed
-its slight palsied trembling.
-
-“You always did make me feel better. It is your secret.” Then a shadow
-fell, “But how? Why?” the shadow darkened. “I don’t deserve it!”
-
-The Bishop studied the darkened face with a sad keenness. “You have not
-told me all the worries this morning, have you? What else?”
-
-Newbold stirred uneasily, then brightened a little with reminiscence,
-“Odd, how little things take one back sometimes. The mere way we are
-sitting at this moment,--you, Bishop, in that deep chair with your
-hands on the arms, and I here at the desk,--it makes me feel as if you
-might take up the dictating and I my shorthand at any instant.”
-
-“It does not seem to me so very long ago.”
-
-“It strikes me now, that you were pretty patient. I was a raw enough
-youth when I first came to Westbury.”
-
-“A bit truculent in argument sometimes,” admitted the other, smiling.
-“You bowled over some of our best doctors in theology. There wasn’t
-much you were afraid of.”
-
-“On the contrary, I was afraid of everything. It was the first time I
-had ever been afraid, too. Westbury frightened me.”
-
-“Yet I knew then that you would live to make Westbury proud of you. I
-believe I never had such hopes for any young man as I had for you.”
-
-“And now?”
-
-“And now?” The Bishop turned the question back upon the man.
-
-“And now,” said Newbold bitterly, “where are the hopes?”
-
-“Exactly where they were before. Don’t you know, lad, that we old men
-are incorrigible in hopes?”
-
-“I know that you are, Bishop, incorrigible in hope,--and in patience.”
-
-The Bishop’s eyes narrowed to fine scrutiny, “Have I then, do you feel,
-something to be patient about?”
-
-Newbold shot a sharp glance, searching the Bishop’s meaning. They both
-waited. At last Newbold, leaning back in his chair lifted steady eyes.
-“Since we’re talking this morning, Bishop, about the things on my mind,
-there are, as you seem to guess, more things. I’d be glad to get them
-all clear with you this morning. It’s a relief to talk, no matter where
-we come out. I’m afraid, that perhaps you haven’t always understood,
-Bishop, my apparent opposition to your wishes on some occasions that
-perhaps we both remember.”
-
-“We both remember, yes!”
-
-At the tone Newbold started, grew more vehement, “Oh, if you could
-but understand, Bishop! Why, sometimes, as I have stood between your
-desires on the one hand and what I knew to be those of the majority of
-the clergy and laity on the other, what I knew to be necessary to the
-prosperity of the diocese and the church, I have verily felt myself
-between two fires.”
-
-“Or between two masters?”
-
-Nervous irritation fretted Newbold’s forehead. “Yes, I suppose, that,
-too, in a way, from your point of view, Bishop. The point of view
-of--well--of the apostles, perhaps!” He hesitated, but then grew
-defensive, “In practical application, Bishop, it is impossible that the
-policies of primitive Christianity should prevail in their pristine
-simplicity in the church to-day!”
-
-The Bishop was long silent, the white profile of his far-away face
-clear before Newbold’s watching eyes. Newbold spoke at last in anxious
-apology. “You understand, therefore, I hope, Bishop, my policy, as I
-understand yours? I wanted you to understand.”
-
-“Why do you want me to understand?”
-
-There was something very strange in those far, far blue eyes, so old,
-so ageless. Newbold gazed into them, curiously compelled. “Perhaps you
-know best the answer to that, Bishop.”
-
-A wistful smile touched the Bishop’s lips, “Perhaps I do, lad. For it
-has been a long while that we have been friends.”
-
-“You know, Bishop, surely,” the man cried out, “how I feel toward
-you,--in spite of--mere policies?”
-
-The Bishop nodded slightly, “Yes, yes,” then looked at the other with a
-larger thought. “But, Newbold, I have no policy, I have found only one
-reading to the riddle of life, and I preach it. There is no policy in
-that, I think, is there?”
-
-“I think,” said Newbold, quietly, “that you are the only man I have
-ever seen solve that riddle.”
-
-“I have not solved it, Murray, if I have not given you the clew.”
-
-At that unbearable sadness Murray Newbold cried out, “No, Bishop, no!
-If I have failed, it is not your failure! Faith such as yours, life
-such as yours,--it is impossible to men like me. It is not for us.”
-
-“I always thought it was for all.” There was a long pause. “And it is.
-I have not known how to show you, that is all.” The Bishop bowed his
-head in silence, murmuring, “But I wanted you,” again a long pause, “as
-you would want peace for your boy!”
-
-The next words were not to Newbold, but Newbold knew to Whom they
-were spoken, “Yet I ask so much! We can never share with Him, we who
-ask fulfillment!” Then the Bishop started sharply from revery, “The
-service! I must go. It is too late, perhaps, already for the communion.”
-
-“There is just time. But, Bishop, will you go? There is so much still
-to say. Stay a little while!”
-
-“What I have failed to say in twenty years, can I say now? In a little
-while?”
-
-“Say it!” pleaded Newbold, “say it!”
-
-Like a physical need, like hunger, the Bishop felt the blind desire to
-feel the chancel quiet about him, to offer once more to his people the
-cup of Christ. Yet before him here and now, in this silent room, a soul
-a-thirst.
-
-“What is it, lad, that you want from me?”
-
-“You believe it, Bishop?” Newbold burst forth.
-
-“What?”
-
-“What we preach. I never knew any man to believe it as you do. How?”
-
-“How otherwise?”
-
-“I never knew any other man who had found peace. _How?_”
-
-“It is hard,” hesitated the Bishop, “for me to talk about these
-things--with you. It is hard for me to understand,” his tired eyes
-widened with the effort to understand. “You mean with the Story ever
-before you, that yet you cannot see--Him?”
-
-“I see nothing. I’ve come to a pretty dark place in my career,
-successful, I suppose it would be called.”
-
-“Since I’ve come to be old, I find I don’t always call things by their
-right names. Success and failure, I don’t always know how to name them.”
-
-“But you have success!”
-
-“No--no, you have showed me clearly to-day that I have failure.”
-
-“_I_ have shown you?”
-
-“Don’t you remember that I came here with a hope?”
-
-“Which I have destroyed? But, Bishop, the work you describe is
-impossible to me. You know, no one better, what I am. The amazing
-thing is that knowing, you still chose me. Why, such a work requires a
-courage, a conviction, a vision such as--”
-
-“You have not courage?”
-
-“Not, not courage of your sort, now.”
-
-“I believe it is courage of your sort, not my sort, that Westbury
-needs, now.”
-
-“It would mean a complete facing about. That would surprise,” he
-smiled grimly, “a few people! I don’t know that I should really mind
-surprising them.” Then his face again clouded. “The Southside would
-find me out, Bishop. I have not the vision. I don’t know that I
-thought it necessary, originally. It’s been, however, of late years,
-a bit persistent, the advantage, say, of believing what one says one
-believes.” The caustic tone changed to intensity, “If I were capable,
-Bishop, of your faith!”
-
-The Bishop studied him wistfully, “And yet,” he mused, “it seems to me
-so simple, faith, so unavoidable, like sunshine. No man could have
-made the sun. Just so, it seems as if no man could have invented--that
-Beauty!”
-
-“Unfortunately most people don’t see things quite so readily. As for
-me, I believe I’m incapable of religious vision.”
-
-The Bishop hesitated, thoughtful, then quick words came, “But not
-incapable of action. I’ve always believed that there is need perhaps
-for soldiers as well as seers. There’s the fighter somewhere within
-you, isn’t there?”
-
-“I sometimes feel,” Newbold admitted, “as if there were as much fight
-left in me as there is in Harry to-day. One sees,” he mused, “some
-pretty queer things when one looks inside.” Then once more he caught up
-the paper cutter in restless fingers, “But that won’t last. I seem to
-see a thing or two while you’re here, seem to be more up to--several
-things. It will all come back fast enough when I’m alone. You’ll carry
-this quiet away with you, Bishop.”
-
-“I wish I could leave it with you! Couldn’t I, somehow?”
-
-“You couldn’t, could you, put me back twenty years, and give me
-another try at it all? No, no, I don’t see the way to that!”
-
-“Do it! Don’t wait to see it! Vision!” the Bishop paused. “It is
-perhaps true that it is not given to all to see, to feel, to know. Yet
-those who do not see can act! Perhaps--perhaps--it is more beautiful
-and more brave to work without the vision! We are the stewards, we call
-ourselves that, you and I--God puts a cup into our hands. He doesn’t
-say, ‘Believe,’ or ‘See.’ He only says, ‘Give’!”
-
-“But it is as _you_ give, Bishop!”
-
-Their eyes met long. Then the tense pause slackened. Murray Newbold
-knew best his feeling for the Bishop when he felt the child gazing from
-the faded eyes and speaking in his pleading voice.
-
-“Murray, will you build, then, the House of Friendship, for Westbury?”
-
-Silence. Newbold had bowed his forehead upon his interlaced fingers.
-His face was concealed except the strong jaw, and the lips, motionless,
-curiously refined by their tight pressure. Moments went by. Within
-closed eyelids Newbold saw his future. He saw the past as if the issues
-between himself and the Bishop had been always mounting to this final
-issue. He saw himself, objective, detached as a painting. So taut were
-all his senses on this morning that it seemed to him that he should
-always see the Bishop’s face looking upon him just as he had closed his
-eyes against it, there across the desk. It was a moment of such intense
-seeing as makes promises impossible. The minutes went, one after one.
-He could not have spoken a word.
-
-A touch brushed Newbold’s shoulder, “I am going now, lad,” the Bishop
-said. Sudden and clamorous, the noon-day chimes, at the close of the
-service, rang out, as the study door closed.
-
-
-
-
-PART III
-
-
-The air of the blue Christmas noon was sparkling clear, yet the
-Bishop’s steps were groping. His blue eyes were vague as he smiled in
-response to motor cars that flashed by, or carriages that passed with
-a brisk jingle of harness. Groups, lightly laughing in the Christmas
-sun, brushed by the old familiar figure in the cape overcoat, but they
-seemed strangers. In the sharp daylight after that dusky study, the
-Bishop trod an unknown street, as wistful and alone as a lost child.
-Was this his Westbury, where none of this gay Christmas throng gave
-thought to those swarming tenements at the bending of the river? An old
-man’s life, what was it, against this hard and happy current? A smile,
-briefly bitter, darkened the Bishop’s face; he was old and would pass,
-having given his Westbury nothing!
-
-Yet all the time his feet, making for reassurance and relief, were
-bearing him toward Lucy Hollister’s welcome, with the homing instinct
-of a child that knows one door its own. Across the Bishop’s weariness
-flashed the thought that in the afternoon Lucy would let him lie down
-for a while.
-
-Lucy’s door opened wide to the Bishop. He felt once again, as the
-closed latch shut him in from that vague and puzzling street, the spell
-of the wide hall that cleft the house, and of grave old walls showing
-at the opposite end a picture of the river through broad glass. The
-Bishop handed his coat and hat to the brown old footman, his friend of
-many years, then his head cleared happily at the sound of a soft rustle
-and the tapping of light decisive slippers. Lucy’s hand was in his.
-
-“Good Christmas, Henry,” she said crisply, and led him in to the
-drawing-room fire.
-
-“I was worried,” she went on. “You were not at church, nor at the house
-when I drove there afterward.”
-
-“The service?” he inquired anxiously.
-
-“It was not Christmas without your sermon. Otherwise it was--well, a
-service. For we missed our rector, too!”
-
-“He is ill.”
-
-“Is he?” inquired Lucy with musing emphasis. “And of what sickness? Too
-much Westbury?”
-
-But at the Bishop’s troubled glance her tone changed instantly, “But
-you yourself, Henry, have you been, are you, ill?”
-
-“Not now, not here. It is really Christmas here.”
-
-“I am glad,” she answered; then, with an unperceived catch of her
-breath, “if it is really Christmas--here!”
-
-“How many Christmas dinners is it, Lucy?”
-
-“I do not count them,” to herself she added, looking at him, “those
-that are over!”
-
-They fell to talking of the Christmases that were over. The Bishop did
-not know that from time to time he leaned his head back, closing his
-lids, and was silent while minutes ticked slowly and Lucy watched him
-intently. It was comforting when he opened his eyes still to see her
-sitting there, so alert, so alive.
-
-“So many Christmases!” he murmured.
-
-“I neither own to them,” she answered, “nor yet, not own!”
-
-Despite her many Christmases, it was with only a slight stiffening of
-the sinuous grace of her girlhood that Lucy moved at the Bishop’s side,
-to the dining-room, to the mid-afternoon holiday dinner of Westbury
-habit. Lucy kept every custom Westbury had had in her youth, and she
-made other people keep such custom, too; slight, elusive, dominant,
-as she was, in her great house by Westbury’s river. They passed from
-stately course to course exactly as they had done on that Christmas
-when Henry Collinton and his wife had dined with Lucy when Annie was
-a bride, and still earlier, the Bishop could remember dining at that
-table, when he was a college lad and the two cousins, girls, Annie the
-dark one, and Lucy, elfin and amber-tinted. The room was the same, the
-china and the silver the same. Beyond the two long windows ran the gray
-loop of the river. Many a time long ago, they had floated all three
-in a boat on that spangled river. The wall paper was the same, put on
-by French hands many a year ago. Round and round it raced a French
-sporting scene, trim-waisted gentlemen that rode to the hunt by wood
-and stream, and ladies that joined them for the huntsman’s repast, gay
-picnickers all, still vivid in color.
-
-It was all the same, for in Westbury things did continue blessedly
-unchanged. Lucy was unchanged, for all the long wearing of her widow’s
-black. The yellow still showed in the snowy gloss of her carefully
-arranged hair. Age had slightly rimmed her eyes with red, but the
-will-o’-the-wisp still danced in them. Her mouth, netted by wrinkles,
-was hardly more finely whimsical than in girlhood. As of old, when
-in earnest talk, she dropped her chin, still clearly chiseled, to a
-delicate white claw of a hand, flashing from a fall of black chiffon.
-Lucy treated age as she did people: like them, age could not tell
-whether it had penetrated her delicate aloofness.
-
-To the Bishop, room and river and woman were still the same. Spent
-to the uttermost as he knew himself to be to-day, Lucy’s indomitable
-vitality quickened him with sharp hope; perhaps, after all, there was
-much he could still leave to Lucy! But not yet for him the outpouring,
-as ever, into Lucy’s ear. That would come, but not yet! How happy,
-now, shut in by that race round and round the walls of those merry
-picnickers, to pluck, as it were a Christmas gift from a tree, one hour
-in which they should still be boy and girl together.
-
-As they talked, two faces looked over their shoulders; over the
-Bishop’s a boy’s with brown hair flung back, with eager listening
-eyes, and a mouth that spoke poetry and as instantly laughed out in
-merry mockery of it, a face that, clear as water, was all the play of
-a mobile brain; and close by Lucy’s head, another in a white bonnet,
-green-ribboned and green-leaved, from which, framed in red-gold curls,
-looked out a tinted cameo face, with green-blue eyes, mocking and
-mysterious. To-day, Lucy’s body was still fragile and unbroken, as in
-girlhood, and for all she had married and borne four children, her
-soul still went unfettered as when she was a girl. But age had charred
-the Bishop’s face to fine white ashes, in which the blue eyes burned,
-luminous and inward.
-
-“Henry,” mused Lucy, “the poetry never came back to you, did it? Do you
-ever write nowadays, ever snare a little wild, singing poem now?”
-
-“The verses come to me sometimes still, but not near enough to catch,
-or to _wish_ to catch, perhaps. I do sometimes see the pictures still,
-this very morning, for instance, and I hear rhythms; but, no, I have
-never written since--since Nan went.”
-
-He was silent a moment, lips tightening, then lights began to gleam on
-his face, with the familiar pleasure of thinking aloud to Lucy. “But
-perhaps I do not write because I can no longer distinguish between
-poetry and prose, in life. That is boy’s work, really, to see the
-sharp outlines of things that afterwards, for us, seem to overlap, to
-interweave. Poetry and prose, which is which? Just so the distinction
-between the sacred and the secular, easy enough at twenty, not at
-eighty: then the two were clear to me as bars of sun and shadow on a
-pavement; now the sun-bars would seem all softened with shadow, and the
-shadow all shot through with sun. Just so the distinction between the
-divine and the human, God and man, where shall one separate the two?
-Can anyone say. Just so far,--” here the Bishop, all eager explanation,
-drew the figure of a cross upon the leather armchair, keeping an ivory
-finger tip upon the spot, “just so far shall God stoop to man, just so
-far man rise to God! Oh! no, no!” He erased the imaginary cross with
-a quick brushing of his long hand, “life is not like that, not sharp
-distinctions, it is all interwoven, interwoven!
-
-“So with poetry and prose. How can I possibly write,” he laughed, “if
-I can’t tell them apart? Why, nowadays I seem to get meshed in my own
-metres. No, I’m no true poet,” he shook his head ruefully, “if I can’t
-tell whether a poem is inside of me or outside of me, whether I am
-it, or it is I! No, old age is the time for seeing, not for singing.”
-He paused, thinking, “But I verily believe I like the seeing better
-than the singing.” He looked over to her in the old, quick boyish way,
-“Don’t you?”
-
-Lucy gave her little humorous shrug, inimitably slight, “O Henry,
-forgive me, I believe old age for me is all plain prose.”
-
-He laughed his silvery old laugh, in pure amusement, “And that from
-you, who know nothing whatever about old age!”
-
-“I! I know everything about old age!”
-
-“Prove it!” he rallied, “prove it! Prove that you know one thing more
-about old age to-day than you did when you were twenty!”
-
-Her face, still beautiful despite its subtlety of lines, grew strange,
-and her humorous lips delicately mocking, “No, I don’t believe I
-could--prove--that I know anything more about old age to-day--than I
-did when I was twenty!”
-
-“There,” he cried gaily, “you admit it?”
-
-“Admit what, my friend?”
-
-“That you are still a girl!”
-
-“Yet, a grandmother?”
-
-“One can never somehow remember that,” his gaze upon her changed to
-puzzled thought.
-
-“Yet I am a grandmother, a model mother and grandmother, I’d have you
-remember!”
-
-“It is very strange,” he mused, “mine, who are gone, seem almost nearer
-than yours, who are here. I sometimes have wondered why you never
-choose to go to them at Christmas-time. Although it is a happy thing
-for me that you do not.”
-
-“I prefer my Christmas to myself!”
-
-“But isn’t it lonely?”
-
-“Lonely, when you have never failed me, Henry!” she laughed. “You know
-I’m a stickler for old customs. I can’t change old friends for new
-grandchildren.”
-
-“Grandchildren!” he shook his head. “No, it is impossible to believe
-in them! You seem to me still Lucy Dwight of the long ago,” a twinkle
-danced in his eyes, “and aren’t you?”
-
-“Who can answer that question but Henry Collinton, of the long ago? Who
-else remembers?”
-
-They both remembered, and fell silent, joining thoughts.
-
-At length the Bishop, shining-eyed, exclaimed, “Those were great days,
-when I came here to college!”
-
-“Great days, yes, when I--when we--taught you the town. You thought
-everything so wonderful that you almost made me believe Westbury
-wonderful, too.”
-
-“And didn’t you, don’t you, believe it wonderful?”
-
-She looked at him quietly, “But Westbury is my own,” she answered.
-
-“And isn’t it,” he pleaded, “my own, too, by this time?”
-
-“Yours?” she looked at him with far, intent eyes, then before his wide
-child-gaze, troubled, her smile flashed reassurance, “Yours, surely,
-Henry!” again she fell thoughtful, “yet it depends a little on what you
-mean!”
-
-“Westbury _has_ been mine,” he maintained, and then, not confident,
-“and Westbury has not changed, has it, Lucy?”
-
-She was silent.
-
-“It has not changed, Lucy?”
-
-“Oh, no, no, Henry,” she comforted him, “How? Where? Look about and
-see!”
-
-“Once it sent more men forth into the church than any other place in
-all the country. Will it, do you believe, continue to do that?”
-
-“Westbury is still churchly! Look at us! Westbury still goes to church.
-I myself set the example.”
-
-“Westbury always has followed your example,” the Bishop answered; again
-he felt a start of hope, but still postponed in this pleasant lighter
-hour the full revelation of his morning’s anxiety.
-
-“Westbury will always follow my example, Henry, just so long as I
-give it its head. It is a triumph, is it not,” her lips puckered
-whimsically, “for an old lady to lead a town by a string? If I cared
-for the triumph! Not to let Westbury get away from me, that has been
-at least an absorbing pastime. I have spent my life trying to keep
-Westbury the Westbury of my youth!” Quizzical, darting gleams showed in
-her eyes.
-
-“There was no more beautiful way to spend your life,” the Bishop
-answered.
-
-Lucy’s face changed, old age dropped over it like a veil, from which
-her eyes looked forth, strange.
-
-“I, too,” the Bishop answered, “have wished to spend my life in keeping
-Westbury the Westbury of my youth. It seemed so beautiful to me! People
-were already beginning to be in a hurry in other places, but they still
-had time to be kind, here. They were already locking themselves into
-classes in other places, but they still had time to be friends, rich
-with poor, rich with rich, here. You remember the mission, Lucy?”
-
-She started, glancing at him with quick, culprit look, which he, lost
-in dreams, did not observe, continuing, “Westbury was a place of
-beautiful friendship, a place to make a young man dream dreams.”
-
-Very low she whispered, “Your dreams, Henry, not Westbury’s!”
-
-“It has not changed, has it, Lucy?”
-
-She did not answer at first, then a smile, elusive, sweet, brushed her
-lips and was gone, “No, Henry!”
-
-“For how could it,” he burst out joyously, “how could it, when you have
-not changed, and you are Westbury!”
-
-“I am Westbury?”
-
-“Yes!” he answered, “yes!”
-
-“Have you always thought that, Henry?”
-
-“I believe so, yes.”
-
-But beneath his clear, smiling gaze, the witch lights gleamed in her
-eyes, “I wonder if you will always think so, Henry!” But his words
-seemed to have made her inattentive, restless, so that it was at length
-almost abruptly that she rose. She turned an instant toward the picture
-framed by the window.
-
-“How you love this town, Henry!”
-
-“It is my piece of God’s world,” he answered with that simple reverence
-that could startle, then he stopped before turning away from the table,
-“May I?” he asked permission, as he picked up a sprig of holly. “We’ve
-had none at the house, and you remember how Annie loved holly.”
-
-“Yes,” Lucy answered, “I remember--Annie’s holly.”
-
-The Bishop still kept the spray of crimson berries in his hand when
-they had crossed the hall into the library, where the fire sprang
-high and where beyond the twin windows that matched those of the
-dining-room, the river had turned to slaty gray below the dulling
-eastern sky. The light in the room was quite clear, but yet the
-Bishop, in the dizziness that followed his rising and walking from the
-dining-room, groped for a chair, and sank into it awkwardly, leaning
-back a moment with shut eyes. For the instant his clear old face looked
-withered, and his hands upon the chair-arms hung lax.
-
-Lucy was still standing against the fire glow, slight, vivid, imperious.
-
-“Henry!”
-
-The Bishop opened vague eyes.
-
-“I can’t let you look like that, Henry, to-day!”
-
-The Bishop smiled, “I’m a bit tired. I’ve just remembered it. You had
-made me forget it, as usual, made me forget both the tiredness and
-some other things. They come back upon me now. I’ve had a rather rough
-morning of it, to tell the truth.”
-
-“Tell me about it,” she said, sitting down.
-
-“I’ve been hearing things I didn’t want to hear, and believing things
-I didn’t want to believe, and trying to do things I couldn’t do, all
-morning. It seems a pretty long time since to-day began. Oh, I was
-going to do great things to-day when I got up!”
-
-“But the day is not over.”
-
-“That is just it,” he answered. “My day _is_ over!”
-
-“No, no, it must never be over! You must never speak like that! Why
-even I--” she broke off, “but you, Henry! Who were always such a boy
-for hoping! You mustn’t stop; I’ll never let you!”
-
-He looked at her with a grave, far gaze, “It would be a Christmas gift
-that I need, Lucy, if to-day you gave me hope. You are the only person
-who can!”
-
-“What has gone wrong, Henry?”
-
-“It was only that I wanted to give Westbury a Christmas present, and
-Westbury would not have it.”
-
-“Who, pray, had the right to say so?”
-
-“Newbold.”
-
-“Newbold! He! What rights has he in Westbury, may I ask?”
-
-The Bishop’s glance was startled and penetrating, “Has he none, Lucy?”
-
-She caught back her words sharply, saying merely, “No right to hurt
-you, Henry, that is all. But tell me about the Christmas present to
-Westbury. It is some new philanthropic scheme of yours, I suppose.
-Tell me about it, for you know you might offer your Christmas present
-to me. Try whether I’ll take it, if I am Westbury.”
-
-[Illustration: As before, he knocked, all eager, and again opening
-doors flashed ruddy on the night
-
- _See page 146_]
-
-His face broke aflame, “You will?” he cried, “I believe that you can!”
-
-“Tell me!” she repeated, dropping her chin upon her white bodkin
-fingers, and fixing her eyes upon the beauty of his face.
-
-The two clear, pale old faces looked forth at each other across a
-space, while slowly there drew in about them the mystery of the dusk.
-Athwart the gathering twilight, the Bishop’s voice fell musical and
-clear.
-
-“The day didn’t go very well, not till I got here to you. I got up
-feeling a bit shaky. I’m going to treat myself to that couch over there
-presently. Perhaps if my head had been clearer I might have seen better
-how to do what I tried to do to-day. But I’m afraid the real trouble
-goes deeper, and dates farther back. Christmas day sometimes throws a
-light back over the other days and years. I haven’t done what might
-have been done with all the years that have been granted me. I see
-that to-day. And now it is too late, isn’t it?”
-
-“What has happened to-day?”
-
-“Nothing has happened but knowledge, perhaps, knowledge to which I have
-forced myself to be blind. But in the light of Christmas I had to see,
-that’s all. And so I suppose I’m a little discouraged, and need to be
-bolstered up, as you can. It’s a good thing for me that you’ve never
-had time to grow old, Lucy. For it’s no fun,” his smile flashed, then
-fell as suddenly, “this being old.”
-
-She fought against his growing seriousness, “I’ve had to stay young,
-Henry, to keep you from growing old. So don’t go and be old all of a
-sudden to-day,”--she forced her tone to evenness, “not to-day of all
-days! I will have to-day!”
-
-“I wanted to-day, too,” he answered, “but I’ve had to give up what I
-wanted, so far, twice.”
-
-“Who, exactly, is the trouble, Henry?”
-
-“Newbold.”
-
-He paused so long that Lucy asked with the faintest frown of
-weariness, “Well, and what has that young man done to-day?”
-
-“Young, he is that, certainly! I half forgot it, young and
-therefore,--” again he stopped, but his eyes were kindled.
-
-“No, not ‘therefore,’” Lucy answered keenly, “if you mean by that that
-he is still young enough to improve.”
-
-“Not with help?”
-
-“Whose?”
-
-The Bishop hesitated, eyes intent, searching hers, then answered,
-“Westbury’s, for Westbury has hurt him.”
-
-“Will he profit by Westbury’s help if he has not profited by yours?”
-
-The Bishop mused, frankly anxious, puzzled, “I had been thinking that
-if Westbury had hurt him, just for that reason perhaps, Westbury--could
-also help him, and would.”
-
-“Oh, Henry, Henry,” she shook her head with pursed, humorous lips, “you
-talk in abstract terms. But Westbury is no abstraction. ‘Westbury could
-help him.’ Exactly what do you mean? For who, pray, is Westbury?”
-
-The Bishop’s gaze met hers; there was humor in his eyes as in hers, but
-also something deeper, something watchful, strange.
-
-“Oh,” she laughed, “I remember. I am Westbury! Do you mean, Henry
-Collinton, that I am to help this Newbold of yours? That I am to make a
-gentleman of him, if you couldn’t?”
-
-But at her words the Bishop’s face grew stern, “No, I have utterly
-failed to make him anything that I wished. But it is arrogant, perhaps,
-this hoping to make anybody anything. Yet how could I help hoping? He
-was a splendid boy, and I had no son.”
-
-In that stern, brooding silence, Lucy said at length, “Don’t mind too
-much, Henry. Remember you idealize--persons and--towns. He was always
-out of place here, that is all. He could never belong here.”
-
-The Bishop turned his head in the old quick boyish way, “But could he
-not have a place in Westbury, if Westbury would make a place for him?”
-
-“Incorrigible one!” she smiled. “How?”
-
-Stern age in judgment on his failure left the Bishop’s face,--the
-little sunny child stole back to it. “I have a little hope,” he
-admitted, “but so very small! It depends on you, all of it.”
-
-His eyes were all aflame, but his tone was grave. “You know so well
-how to help a man in his work, how to cheer him on through doubt and
-failure. Have you ever failed me?”
-
-“I know how to let a man talk to me, perhaps,” she murmured.
-
-“Yes, how you have let me talk to you, always,--ever since the mission
-was founded! Ever since that day we have talked, ever since that day I
-have brought my work to you!”
-
-“And I have listened!”
-
-“And have helped! Lucy, as you have helped,” she felt the sharp intake
-of his breath, “as you have helped me, could you not also help him who
-shall come after me?”
-
-“Come after you? What, whom, do you mean, Henry! You cannot surely mean
-that he, your Newbold, shall come after _you_?”
-
-“You know the diocese, Lucy, as I know it--can you doubt that--Dr.
-Newbold--will come after me?”
-
-“Henry, would you, could you, choose that he should? After _you_?”
-
-“What choice have I? I--I am passing on. The sadness is that I would
-have desired him to follow me, once.”
-
-“Now?”
-
-“Will you help him, Lucy?”
-
-“How?”
-
-“Be his friend. He does not believe you his friend. It is the only
-hope.”
-
-“Hope of what, Henry?”
-
-“It seems to me at this moment, the only hope of all that I have
-desired.”
-
-Leaning back in infinite weariness, he gazed into the fire, silently.
-In the dusky room the fire glow was rosy warm about them, as they sat
-in twin chairs before the hearth. Silently the old footman had entered,
-and across the room had lighted and turned low a green-shaded lamp.
-Lucy sat motionless. A coal slipped down, with a whisper, glowed, and
-dimmed to ashes.
-
-“What have you desired, Henry?”
-
-The Bishop turned, “You have had all my dreams,” he answered, “so
-you know.” A strange mysticism showed upon his face, “I have desired
-to-day, to give all that I had to the poor, and to the rich, to the
-rich! And I could not!” At her look of puzzled curiosity, he explained
-quickly, with a passing smile, “But that is a Christmas secret, between
-Dr. Newbold and me. And besides, it is all over, now,--that little
-Christmas dream.” Again a long gaze into the fire where one can watch
-one’s wishes glowing, dying. “And I have desired most of all, to leave
-my work to someone who would understand and carry it on!”
-
-“Who could understand, Henry,” she whispered, “your work?”
-
-He turned his head toward her, quick and sunny. “You alone, perhaps,
-and therefore you will help him to understand.”
-
-“How?”
-
-“By giving him courage, as you have given it to me.”
-
-“I never gave you courage.”
-
-“Yes! And so, let me believe, you will give it to him!”
-
-“Courage for what? Be explicit, dreamer!”
-
-“Courage to reopen the Southside Mission, and to keep it open,--and
-every mission throughout the diocese! Let him know that Westbury stands
-by him there!”
-
-“But if--” she spoke low, “if it doesn’t?”
-
-There was a stab of pain on the Bishop’s face, and then bright hope,
-“Let him know you do! That will be enough! And besides,” he smiled,
-“can you not make Westbury do whatever you wish?”
-
-“I never tried,” she answered musingly, “to make Westbury do anything
-it did _not_ wish.”
-
-“I cannot believe,” he cried, “that it wishes the closing of the
-mission. There has been somehow a mistake. It cannot be. It would mean
-the going out of a lamp which you and I saw kindled,--it does not seem
-to me so very long ago.”
-
-“It is a lifetime.”
-
-The light died from the Bishop’s face, leaving on it all the cruelty
-of age. “Yes, a lifetime that is over,” for a moment his lips showed
-their palsied working, for a moment spoke an old man’s querulousness,
-“they could not have closed the mission without my knowing it, if they
-had not thought me, already, laid upon the shelf!”
-
-“Henry,” she pleaded, “not that, please!”
-
-“No, not that!” he cried, instantly himself and contrite, “we pass, but
-the work goes on! I am an old man who has somehow made a failure of it.
-But I’ll try not to think of that any more, clouding our Christmasing.
-I’ll try just to remember I am leaving Murray Newbold and Westbury, the
-two I have loved, to you.”
-
-“Leaving! But, Henry, you speak as if I were not also old! What time
-have I left, for Newbold, for Westbury, more than you?”
-
-“You will have time,” he answered, while the mysticism again touched
-his face, “my head is not clear to-day, but that is one of the things I
-seem to know, that you will have time, more than I. Time enough to help
-Newbold to learn his own strength. He has never tried it. Time enough
-to teach him to fight. A soldier, he’ll not desert,--afterwards. And
-time enough to help Westbury rekindle the mission, whose death would
-mean--you and I know,” his voice fell and he groped a little for words,
-a little confused, “the light must not die, you will have time to keep
-the light, to keep Westbury--alive. Your Westbury and mine! I seem to
-know to-day,” his low voice, in the twilight, was very clear, “that you
-will have time to help the man and the town I have failed to help.”
-
-“If time were all that is needed, Henry, to help them!”
-
-Looking into the fire, he did not turn, answering happily, “Whatever
-else is needed you possess, and have given to me for sixty years.”
-
-With the snapping of a lifetime’s tension her voice rang, “Henry, stop
-looking into the fire! For sixty years you have looked into dreams.
-Now, once, look at me!”
-
-The Bishop turned.
-
-Her elfin laugh tinkled, “The fairies were good to you, Henry, they
-gave you eyes that do not see.”
-
-While she spoke, slowly the Bishop saw, but at first he saw only a
-girl’s witch-face in the fire glow.
-
-“I will make you see this once, Henry Collinton--_me_! You look
-strange, Henry! As if you couldn’t guess what’s coming. Neither, I
-assure you, can I. You called me Lucy Dwight of the long ago,--and
-you’ll have to take the consequences! I like you to look strange, for
-then you don’t look old! Look young, Henry, and look at me! You are
-looking, I believe, at last, with open eyes,--looking at a woman, not
-a diocese. Henry, I might say in passing that I did not think once, on
-one afternoon we both recall,--but differently!--when we talked about
-a mission, that we should still be talking about that mission after
-sixty years. You will excuse my changing the subject from your work
-for a few moments, then, after sixty years! I’ve been a pretty good
-listener--take your turn!”
-
-She looked no longer at the Bishop, who watched her as if she were
-some Christmas sprite risen out of the red hearth. Her white old face,
-white-crowned, was touched to rose and gold by the fire flame.
-
-“Shall I draw you a portrait, Henry, of someone you have never seen?
-Yet it is a portrait on constant exhibition. It is shown to every
-guest in Westbury,--a private exhibition is called High Tea at Mrs.
-Hollister’s. People watch the guest when he sees the portrait; by its
-effect he is judged. People point out that the portrait is valuable
-historically, since it combines inseparably the style of sixty years
-ago with the style of to-day. That is because the picture has been
-retouched so carefully from year to year to fit the taste of the times.
-So the painting is seen to represent the sixty-year history of a town,
-even to costume,” she flashed a white hand from throat to skirt of her
-clinging black which looked at first sight so fresh from a fashion
-plate and was so carefully studied to fit no decade, and no person, but
-her own.
-
-“Who would ever have thought Lucy Dwight could have stepped into a
-picture and stayed there all her life? She did not expect to, once, but
-she made up her mind to it, later, when one day she looked in the glass
-and took stock of what was left to her. She was twenty then.
-
-“I am proud of the portrait, frankly. I have enjoyed making it. I
-haven’t had anything else to do, except, of course,” a ripple of
-laughter ran through her tone, “to listen! The portrait needed a frame,
-so I’ve made that, too. Your figure of speech was inaccurate, a while
-ago. I am not Westbury. Westbury is the frame; I am the portrait, the
-portrait of an interesting old woman, interesting to everybody but
-herself!”
-
-Lucy was an artist, she knew the value of the pause, she knew the
-value of a shrug, the most delicate perceptible lifting of brows and
-shoulders, she knew the value of hands, that, out of periods of quiet,
-flickered now and then, spirit-white against the black shadows of her
-gown. An artist, she forgot the Bishop while she talked and did not
-look upon the change that grew upon his face.
-
-“It is very easy to be interesting. It only needs that you always guess
-what people are going to say next and never let them guess what you are
-going to say next. It needs a gift for words and a gift for silence.
-It was the process by which I brought up my children. My children have
-always known they did not know their mother, a course of training
-easier than spanking and more efficacious.” She stopped a moment. Her
-clasped hands tightened, “Yet in ultimate effect, at seventy-seven, a
-little lonely. We prefer our Christmases apart, my children and I.”
-Her words fell clear against a long silence following, “My husband, of
-course, spoiled the children. I was perfectly willing that he should;
-they were his children.”
-
-After a pause, the Bishop, bringing the words forth from far away
-murmured, musing, “Fathers do spoil children, perhaps.”
-
-Her tone turned tense, “I would have spoiled Nan!” then, resuming her
-gaze into the fire, upon her portrait, she continued her retrospective
-analysis, “And I have managed the town as I have managed my family.
-What Mrs. Hollister says, what Mrs. Hollister does not say, about
-ministers and missions, about dinners and diners, Westbury waits
-to know, and I have never let it be quite, quite sure! So Westbury
-watches, watches me--but oh, not as I watch Westbury! For it would be
-a little curious and disquieting--if I should cease to be popular! I
-don’t think that unpopularity would exactly suit--my physique! I am old
-and accustomed to sovereignty, even if it is, well, a bit monotonous!
-We were young and lively once, Westbury and I, but now we grow old and
-wish to be complacent and comfortable, so we don’t poke at each other’s
-consciences. And, indeed, why should we? For are we not pretty good,
-when one stops to look at us!” Patriotism deepened her voice, “Where is
-there another Westbury! We have kept the heritage of our fathers! We
-have not grown cheap in Westbury!” Then a lighter tone, “And how could
-we be very bad when we always have had you to idealize us! Ever since
-you were a boy! You came to us a stranger and we took you in, at once.
-We sometimes do take in the stranger at once, and sometimes never.
-Nowadays he must be presented to the portrait, and must pass that
-examination. Young Murray Newbold has never passed his, and he knows
-it. I believe I rather like to see him squirm, for it is not petty, it
-is a giant’s squirming, and I enjoy it because I fancy it has ceased to
-be perceptible to any eye but mine. It is interesting to observe the
-effect of the air of Westbury on some constitutions. Your young Newbold
-would have been worth bringing up once, but he has never learned not
-to be afraid, and that brings it about that he has parted with every
-good quality he possesses except his brain. That is still with us,
-fortunately, for, quite between us, in spite of patriotism, I must say
-there are not many brains in active employment in Westbury in these
-days (I’m not, of course, so impolitic as to say ‘in these days’ to
-anyone but you, Henry!). We have about half-a-dozen brains in Westbury
-capable of conversation,--yours and young Newbold’s and mine, I forget
-the other three!” Her laugh died into a thoughtful pause.
-
-“And yet a brain for a woman is a big stupidity. But perhaps I ought
-not to quarrel with mine, for,” she drew a quick breath of intensity,
-“it has given me all I’ve ever had! Oh, you and I have had some great
-old talks, haven’t we, here by my old red fire! Brains make--at
-least--good comradeship!” Her voice fell low, “I sometimes wonder if
-there is anything better for--men and women--than good comradeship.
-What--what do you think, Henry?” But still she looked into the fire and
-not at him, and the Bishop did not answer. For a moment his deep gaze
-upon her wavered, went to the blackening window,--below there in the
-wintry garden long bleak stems broke aflame with wee yellow blossoms,
-beneath them little brown Annie walked among the roses.
-
-“How curiously that holly glistens, Henry!” Lucy’s eyes were upon the
-long lean hands transparent to the fire glow, then suddenly in a voice
-lingering and judicial, “I really do not know whether it is so very
-interesting after all to be an interesting old woman!”
-
-Lucy’s hands unclasped, fluttered an instant on the chair arms, then
-lay still, “Oh, I am bored! And I have been bored for so long! It would
-astonish this town of mine to know how it bores me! There is nothing
-new for me anywhere! I know what everybody is going to say and do. If
-it were not for you, I should even know what I myself am going to say
-and do! Oh, dull, dull, dull,--this being old! I wish I had something
-to do! I don’t even yet feel old enough to do nothing, yet when have I
-ever done anything else?”
-
-The fire snapped in the stillness of the room, embers leaping up, the
-sooner to die to blackened ashes. Lucy’s voice grew low and vibrant.
-
-“You wonder why I speak these things to-day? It is your own fault,
-Henry, my friend! Why do I keep my hearth fire bright except that you
-should drop in beside it and talk to me? It is quite the only thing
-left that is entertaining. And to-day you yourself threaten that!” Her
-voice fell low, “Christmas has always been my day, why this time do
-you bring with you these terrible thoughts, this talk of--death! Why
-talk of it, the thinking of it is bad enough! Did anyone ever hear me
-talk of dying? Except, of course, my lawyer. No, when death takes me,
-he must catch me first! I shall never go forth to meet him with plans
-and preparations for the things that shall come after,--and why should
-you? Why must you talk of your going, speaking as if I could have an
-interest in your work without you! Oh, Henry, why did you yourself
-bring the spectre to our Christmas fire, where I wanted to be snug and
-warm! You are not afraid, but I--I regret to confess it, I am!” Then
-her tone grew less intense, determinedly casual, “Yet it is curious
-that I should care or really take the trouble to be afraid! I who am
-bored to the uttermost! The other will be at least a new thing! But I
-have never been fond of games of chance! A picture in a frame is dead
-enough, but a coffin is--ugh!--slightly worse! It is so ugly, this
-dying! Nobody can ever say I yielded to it before I had to--I have
-yielded so far, I flatter myself, to nothing! Yet when I must, I shall
-step into my carriage and drive off with my head up and my lips shut,
-like a lady! As I have lived!”
-
-She paused, momentarily conscious of his expression, so that to the
-strange intentness of his watching face she went on, “I never have
-yielded to the need of a confessional before; if I do so once in a
-lifetime, you really must excuse me, Henry!
-
-“Of course, for you it is different, you are not afraid; you are a man,
-and then you have your religion. But a woman is rarely religious, at
-least a woman who has not had what she wanted! As a thinking person, I
-quite envy you your religion. It is a valuable possession, at this end
-of life. Not that I am unorthodox--who is, in our good old churchly
-Westbury? I am a good churchwoman,--that does not enable me to see
-through a stone wall. Oh, Henry, Henry, here you come to-day, looking
-so pale that I can’t bear it, and talking of going, passing on, leaving
-your work! You have made me feel how near we are, you and I, to that
-stone wall. I am sitting here shivering at the strange things on the
-other side!”
-
-No light but the ebbing fire and the clear green lamp, and somewhere
-outside in the darkness stars above the swift rush of the river.
-
-“It is this that makes me talk. The time is so short, here, and over
-there--who knows about over there? One speaks out at last, I find,
-after being good for sixty years. For I have been good, have I not,
-Henry, for sixty years,--listened and listened, helped, as you believe,
-your work? It has been a great thing to be jealous of so great a work!
-Did you really think my mind was in it, that I really cared,--I!--for
-missions, for making men over, for turning a town right about face!
-
-“I never expected to speak out; pictures in frames do not expect to
-speak out. Yet I might have known, for sooner or later everyone does
-speak out to you. I’ve been rather proud of being the one exception.
-But is it not my turn? And yours to listen, to me, just once, at last?
-You are surprised, I suppose. I am afraid I do not care that you are. I
-had to open your eyes. You speak as if I existed only to carry on your
-work--it has always been like that. So I’ve drawn you a portrait. Do
-you still think, looking at it, that I am the one to give you hope, I!
-What do you think, Henry Collinton, of the portrait of Lucy Dwight?”
-
-Her strangely gleaming eyes at last met the Bishop’s deep gaze,
-profound, unfaltering. There was stillness, then the Bishop spoke, in
-quiet judgment on himself, “My work? Yet I had hoped that it seemed
-God’s. And for sixty years I have thought that you loved it!”
-
-“I have loved you!”
-
-There was no old age for them now, no past, no future. Beyond the room
-that briefly held them were night and the river and death. She was Lucy
-Dwight of the flickering fire flame, who laid bare at the last her
-deathless desire. The man she loved was God’s, was all men’s. After a
-lifetime of delicate sanity, she cried out to him to be for one hour
-hers. Then she waited.
-
-The singular clarity of the Bishop’s brain had annulled for him every
-other emotion. He no longer felt any shock of revelation. The lucidity
-of his thinking was like a physical sensation of actual daylight in the
-room and beyond the windows. He saw the past as if it had been written
-in a foreign tongue and with a new meaning, but he saw it as plainly as
-black print on white paper. The woman before him was one whom he had
-never known, but he read her soul, too, clear as a printed page. So
-strangely clear his head, it seemed to him he could have laid his hand
-on that wall of death Lucy had talked of, that it would have crumbled
-at his touch, leaving him standing on the other side, in this same new
-daylight, serene and unsurprised. So crystal his thoughts that words
-seemed to him a remote and frivolous medium, like a grown man’s being
-forced to rediscover his baby-lisp in order to make himself understood.
-His personal pain had become merely a matter for reflection and limpid
-analysis. Carried far on thought that ran deep and wide, the Bishop
-spoke, hardly conscious of his words, “But love _loves_! It does not
-hurt! You knew me and my faith in you and my hope through you. If you
-had loved me, would you have destroyed for me that faith and hope?
-Would you not have taken from my hand my boy and my town, to take care
-of and to help, if you had loved me?”
-
-They seemed to sit there as if looking on these words, in a silence
-that grew palpitant. Then her cry broke, “Henry, I can be all that you
-have believed, I can promise to try to do all that you desire. If you
-ask me to do it for you! Do you?”
-
-All in that strange daylight within his brain, the Bishop saw the
-future, saw his work die with him. In the same white light he saw the
-woman before him whom he had never known.
-
-Lucy waited. God’s or hers? Yet why had she loved him except because
-he had never been hers? The Bishop’s gaze rested upon her in a far
-tranquillity of insight.
-
-“No.”
-
-He sat there, quiet as a portrait before her gaze, and all alone. She
-had desired to rouse him from bodily weakness, and there was about
-him now no taint of feebleness. He sat erect, his long hands tranquil
-but not flaccid. A smile touched his lips, so fine and firm, a man’s
-smile, not a child’s; a smile of thought in retrospect, neither bright
-nor bitter. He had believed his lonely life cheered by a beautiful
-friendship, so sacred that he had supposed it hallowed the shrines of
-his God, of his wife, even as he did. This friendship had not been what
-he thought it. Truth was well. He had no friend. There remained God.
-
-“Henry!”
-
-He looked over to her with a far, alien pity.
-
-“Have I lost you, Henry? I was never mad before. To keep you I have
-been for a lifetime so frightfully wise! Have I lost you now?”
-
-Involuntarily he shut his eyes, the faintest line was pencilled between
-his brows. Pain struck home again through all that serenity of light.
-If there was one thing Henry Collinton, the man, loved, it was reserve,
-the delicate stateliness of their mutual sympathy. Yet here was the
-nakedness of a woman’s soul! Words seemed to him too far away to find
-or utter.
-
-“Henry, sometimes you seem to me to see only God!”
-
-Still he sat before her, silent and motionless as a portrait statue, as
-austere and beautiful. His face was in profile to her. The firelight
-fell on his silver-white hair and filled the eyes that did not turn or
-see her. Still she seemed to him changed into a stranger. But her words
-sounded in his head, “Sometimes you seem to see only God!” The Bishop
-put up his right hand to his brow, suddenly veiling his face from her.
-Against the strange recoil from her his quick prayer throbbed. So long
-Lucy gazed at that corded old hand that shut him from her that there
-grew at last on her face also, a marble sternness that matched his own.
-She was no longer beautiful beneath that blighting cynicism. Behind
-his lifted hand, the Bishop did not guess his testing, alone with God
-as he sat there, praying against this quivering repulsion of his soul.
-At last Lucy’s eyes turned from him to the fire. The smile of a faint
-scorn caught on her lips! Scorn for herself? Scorn for him? Sixty years
-of loving? Was this its issue?
-
-Silence, except for the whispering fire.
-
-The Bishop dropped his hand, leaning back a moment in uttermost relief.
-From head to foot, he felt, all quietly, some stern tension relaxed,
-and with it there passed away also something of that intensely clear
-vision he had just experienced. Looking now toward that other chair by
-the fire, he knew it was no stranger but the old familiar Lucy seated
-there, his friend, and how tired she looked and white and lonely! He
-must try to understand. It was very strange to realize it all, but
-step by step he must try to understand, even though he felt again now
-suddenly, and far more certainly, the shutting in upon him of the
-vagueness and dullness of the morning hours. He cried out to the Friend
-to hold it at bay a little while that he might talk to Lucy. He smiled
-over to her sunnily.
-
-As she looked into his eyes that blighting scorn was transformed into
-a tremulous new beauty, her brooding face suddenly puckered with the
-painful tears of age.
-
-“Henry, tell me how to live without you! Give it to me this Christmas
-Day, that gift of hope!”
-
-“I would,” he answered slowly, “if I could! But I haven’t been so
-very successful in my gift-giving to-day. So I don’t feel very sure
-of myself. You’ll be patient, won’t you, while I try to understand?”
-Slowly and humbly he felt his way, with wistful pauses. “There is so
-much that is new to me, to understand.” Deep in thought he gazed into
-the past. “You have been very patient with me. I see now how often I
-have been self-absorbed and selfish, bringing it all to you, every
-worry. I have taken,--I see it now--much sympathy and given very
-little. It’s a little late, isn’t it, after sixty years, to ask you to
-excuse it?” He shook his head with a strange, sad little smile. “How I
-have talked to you! Always! It must indeed have seemed to you a long,
-long listening! I am sorry!”
-
-“But I am not sorry, Henry!”
-
-“No!” his face brightened. “For if I have been self-absorbed, you at
-least can remember that you have been very good to me. That helps, does
-it not?” he pleaded quickly. “That thought helps a little toward cheer?
-For as I try to understand, I do not seem able to look back and read
-my life without you. You have always strengthened me. You have never
-failed me.”
-
-“Until to-day?”
-
-Her whisper sent a shiver of hurt along his lips, but in a moment he
-achieved steadiness, holding self at bay. “That!” his breath caught,
-then low words that grew calm, “But as you said, it is perhaps my turn
-now, to listen to you. It is only fair, as you said, that I should
-listen and see, at last.”
-
-“I never meant you to see. I always knew what would happen if you did.”
-Her voice throbbed through the dusky room, with strange finality, “And
-now it _has_ happened!”
-
-His eyes met hers, crystal clear, “Nothing has happened,” he said
-simply; “I think nothing ever happens, does it, to friends?”
-
-There was a strange wondering relief upon her keen white face, as she
-listened for his words, seeing the old boyish mysticism brighten in
-his eyes. “But let me keep on trying to understand. They cannot be
-very easy to bear, the things you have been telling me about, all that
-I have been so dull and slow to guess. It will never do for either of
-us to let Christmas day go out in the blues. The air seemed full of
-good cheer this morning; we mustn’t lose that, you and I, just because
-we are being drawn into the evening. You have been cheer itself to me
-through all these years; if only I knew the word to say to you now! My
-thoughts don’t feel very clear or manageable, but you know I want to
-find the right word! You who have always known what to say to me.” He
-fell thoughtful and silent, then looked up quickly, “You see it was
-for that reason that I couldn’t help asking you to look after Murray,
-because I knew what you had done for me. I have had every hope for
-him, and you know how hard it is for me to give up a thing I have
-hoped for,--that is why I caught at your friendship for him as the one
-security now. I thought perhaps there would be for you the pleasure
-in his brain, in his strength, that I have felt. But no, now I see it
-cannot be. It would all be too hard on you. I know, of course,” he
-sighed, “Murray’s faults. I’ve cared too much for him not to know them;
-that was another reason, my love for him, that made me want to feel
-that I was leaving him to you, to help him through--what lies before
-him. But now I see it would be painful and difficult for you--one man
-who has always brought you all the worry of his work has been enough!
-And even to-day I have been bringing it all to you still, troubling you
-with my work and worry and Murray and Westbury! Lucy, believe me, I
-never meant to be selfish with it! I see at last that I have been.
-
-“And Westbury,--shall we leave that subject quiet, too, as being
-troublesome to-day? And the Southside Mission and all the other
-missions, and the spirit that enkindles them, and must be kept alive
-here and everywhere--one tries to keep the fire alight, but one must
-go some day, trusting, hoping, not _knowing_, for that is too much to
-ask! I will try not to trouble you with all that, any more, to-day. It
-was a good deal, wasn’t it, to ask you to keep a whole town--alive!
-One of my dreams! Such incorrigible dreams they must seem to you, I’m
-afraid. I am always looking into dreams, you said. And perhaps my
-Westbury is all a dream, for it has always seemed to me one of the holy
-places. It does not seem, when you talk, to be that to you. You see,
-I thought we were one in our love for it,--that is why I talked of
-leaving it to you--it all sounds now, doesn’t it, a little fantastic?
-Have I always lived in fantasy then? Are you showing me truth at the
-last, Lucy?”
-
-His voice ceased, weary. His face looked forth from the shadow depths,
-worn to silver-white by all the years, then, even as he paused, hope
-ran across it a bright transforming hand.
-
-“It cannot be true! It need not be true! Need it, Lucy? I seem to
-see--forgive me one more dream,--Murray with you to help him, still
-keeping Westbury the Westbury of our youth. Of our youth! The old
-customs, the way of graceful living, you have kept! And now to keep
-the spirit, the spirit of the place, its simple godliness, its simple
-friendliness! It has seemed to me God’s ground, where He let me walk a
-little while and serve and then pass on, hoping! Hoping, Lucy?
-
-“For you, there is so much left!” he spoke a bit wistfully. “Such
-vigor still and life left in you! It does not matter if the years left
-are few and late, if they can be so strong and beautiful! While, as
-for me--” he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders, smiling, “oh,
-these poor old bodies that we wear, how they fetter and confine! Yet
-we mustn’t scorn them too much either, poor things, when they’ve done
-their best for us for eighty years!”
-
-Something in her listening face recalled him, “Dear me, I am at it
-again! Troubling you again with the things that shall come after. It
-was only that I saw before you for a moment--so much! I seem to see
-so much everywhere, to-day. And yet much of it is sadly jumbled. Your
-brain never seems to play these sorry tricks on you. You’re feeling
-patient still, aren’t you,” he smiled, “while I try still to remember
-and understand?”
-
-Slowly keenness grew in his gaze upon her face, mute before him and
-subtle. His words were a little hesitant, “I do not believe it is quite
-true, that figure of a portrait. It hurts us both to think about that
-portrait, because it is not true. Truly, I think my idea was better
-than that, that you are the spirit of the place. Yes, I prefer my
-figure of speech to yours, and so I shall keep it and forget yours. We
-have known each other too long to believe in that portrait,--it’s such
-a lonesome notion, somehow! Perhaps you feel like a portrait yourself
-sometimes when you’re sitting alone by the fire and feeling a little
-down, as we all do sometimes, I’m afraid, but you surely couldn’t
-expect me to believe you a picture in a frame when for a lifetime
-you’ve seemed life and energy to me! So remember,” an instant his voice
-grew lower, “always remember--” the old twinkle showed, “that I don’t
-believe a word of it!”
-
-He knew that her eyes, at full gaze on him, frankly showed all secrets,
-but they were secrets he was not sure he read. Still he was trying to
-understand, while he paused for help.
-
-“You did not quite mean, did you, that the dullness, the boredom, is
-all the time present with you? Only sometimes? It is very puzzling
-to believe ennui of you who seem so alert. You are very brave at
-concealing it,--you must know the remedy better than I do, for it is
-one of the things that have not been chosen for me to bear, for I still
-get up in the morning expecting new things to happen. I did this very
-day.”
-
-Involuntary mocking pulled at her lips. “New things _are_ happening to
-us both to-day!”
-
-“Yes!” he murmured, while his face was shadowed, then reverting, “To be
-dull every day! It seems to me almost the saddest thing you have said
-to me! I wish it were not so! I wish I had the right word to say for
-that!”
-
-He sat silent, hesitant and doubtful.
-
-“Henry, say out to me all that you have in mind to say. I need it.
-There are no veils left!”
-
-His face grew clear with light.
-
-“You are looking into dreams again!” she cried, “but now tell me what
-you see!”
-
-“What I see for you?”
-
-“Yes, that belongs to me now.”
-
-“I think I see for you what might be,” he began hesitant.
-“Mysteriously, there is in you still the power of effort together with
-the power of wisdom. It seems to me that it is like a cup in your hand,
-your influence. And if it should be all in vain,--I know to-day that
-much we desire to do must be in vain. We understand that together, you
-and I. I feel, you know, as if the soul of a man and the soul of a town
-were in your keeping for a little while,--if you should take them,
-might it not be that new thing you want? Might it not bring you joy and
-forgetting? My work has meant that to me. And I know it is very lonely
-if one never forgets. And even if it were all in vain, might it not be
-life and hope to you, Lucy? I do not want to preach any preachments,
-you know that, surely. I can only tell you what I have lived. Perhaps
-I have never lived in reality--I half guess it this evening, looking
-back, and looking forward, seeing all that I have not done. It isn’t
-very easy to grow old, not easy for anyone to feel the body breaking
-beyond mending, and to see all that is unfinished, but I believe, Lucy,
-an enthusiasm is the one thing to keep us warm, us old ones. I’ve done
-a plentiful amount of failing, but I wish I could succeed in one thing
-now,--I wish God would let me give you the word of joy to-night!”
-
-It was so quiet in the old room, that low-lighted space, four-square,
-swung out upon the night. The Bishop’s long fingers passed slowly
-across his brow, trying to smooth away that darkness which seemed
-shutting in upon his brain.
-
-“And might not effort new and different help you to forget, Lucy, that
-wall of death? Perhaps you might be so busy, so joyously busy, that you
-would come quite to the wall without seeing, and the gate would open
-so quickly that you would step through without waiting to be afraid. I
-wish God might let it be that way with you. Perhaps He will. Strange
-that for me death has always seemed easier than life, so that I’ve
-tried not to look at the thought of it too much, not because of fear,
-because of beauty. It is only lately that I have felt that God will not
-mind if I look toward the gate. I think perhaps he’ll excuse me now,
-for wanting to get home. They’ve been waiting for me pretty long, too,
-Annie and Nan and the baby. He must be a man now. I often wonder by
-what ways they grow up over there.
-
-“Lucy, I wish you need not be afraid of going home.”
-
-Again the Bishop passed his hand over his forehead. He felt himself
-growing vague, tried blindly to remember what he was trying to say,
-turned to her at length, appealing, with a strange little smile of
-apology.
-
-“There is something I am trying to say, but somehow I keep losing it.
-Can you possibly excuse me if you try quite hard? For I know you’ve
-told me something this afternoon that I ought never to have forgotten,
-and somehow, Lucy, it’s gone, it fades, it escapes me! Only it was
-something that troubled you and that I was trying to understand. But
-I can’t, I can’t remember! But I wanted to say something to help a
-little, I remember that part of it. Lucy, for you and me, is that
-enough, even if I can’t remember what it was all about?
-
-“There is just one thing I can find the words for, before they slip
-away,--you and I have had to walk through life alone, and yet we have
-walked together. It was because God walked with us that we have walked
-together. Lucy, you will remember, whatever happens, that He is always
-there? And so, that way, you see, we can never be so very far apart!”
-
-They are piteous, the tears of age. Lucy pressed them back with ivory
-finger-tips on each eyelid, her hands masking all her face. Behind them
-stretched the long past, the brief future. The key to the future was
-in her broken whisper, “After all, God was just; Annie was fit to love
-you!”
-
-But the Bishop had risen suddenly, and crossed the room blindly,
-stumbling but once. The crashing pain in his head left only one
-instinct--air, the street, his own house! Instantly he must get there!
-Then sharp through his own pain came admonishment. He steadied himself
-with one hand upon the mahogany table where the green lamp stood. It
-was the close of his Christmas, he remembered; would it go with no
-reassurance?
-
-The white panelled doorway behind him, he stood there by the low green
-lamp. His face was all longing, like a little child’s.
-
-“Lucy, I tried; have I given you--hope?”
-
-The Bishop’s voice was low, lower than he knew, and it is sometimes
-impossible to hear or to speak. It was a long time before Lucy’s hands
-dropped from a face a-quiver. She looked about, startled to know
-herself alone when she felt only him, everywhere.
-
-But quietly the outer door had closed.
-
-
-
-
-PART IV
-
-
-Stars thridded the bare elm-boughs overhead. Always against the
-blackness of the next corner loomed a blurred ball of light, which,
-on approach, turned into a familiar street lamp. The broad avenue was
-almost deserted. From blurred light to light ran a space of pavement
-blessedly firm to hurrying, uncertain feet, yet lights and pavement
-seemed to multiply and stretch away indefinitely. But if one hurried,
-hurried on, there was someone waiting at the end.
-
-Sometimes, against the dark faces of the housefronts, window-shades
-were rolled up, like eyelids opening, on home-pictures that reminded
-the Bishop it was Christmas night. The morning of the day gleamed
-through mist like one of the street lamps he was passing. Faces kept
-forming close against his eyes and then melted again into gray, into
-black, Mrs. Graham’s and Murray’s and Lucy’s, suffering, lonely faces
-that had been locked against his pleading. Now there only remained to
-get home.
-
-A street of black housefronts, closed upon good cheer within, the
-Bishop’s own street, any door of which would have opened readily to
-his need, had anyone guessed it! But illness had left in his brain
-only a great homing instinct. He knew he must not stop along the way,
-because like all other men in all the world on Christmas-night, he,
-too, had his own, and there, at home, his own were waiting for him.
-For at last he knew why he was hurrying so, it was because Annie was
-there, at home. He might not find her below in the hall, but she would
-be upstairs, listening for him and waiting. He knew that when his key
-turned, he should hear her voice, liquid and sweet with welcome, come
-floating down the shadowy stair, “Up here! I’m up here, Hal!”
-
-Yet when at length the Bishop did press his key into the lock, the
-house was silent and the hallway unlighted and chilly. Still Annie’s
-presence seemed all-pervasive, catching him back to older days,
-and making him, as he groped for a match and lighted the gas-jet,
-forget to wonder why Mrs. Graham had not returned or to surmise the
-train missed for the baby’s sake. As he hung overcoat and hat on a
-peg of the towering black-walnut rack, his face being reflected to
-unseeing eyes in the glimmering mirror, the familiarity of the action
-and the security of his own hallway and open study door steadied
-and strengthened him. He had got home safe and sound after all, and
-now before climbing up to bed and undertaking all the weariness of
-undressing, he would put on his old black velvet dressing gown, and
-would sit down in the dark, in the sagging old leather armchair, and
-rest a little, and look out on the stars in the band of night-sky
-stretching below the rim of the piazza roof.
-
-The door into the hall, slightly ajar, allowed a little light to enter
-the room, showing the seated figure facing the long eastward window,
-the black velvet gown sweeping from throat to foot, and the long pale
-hands stretching out on the chair arms from the wide black cuffs. Hair
-and profiled face gleamed silver-white in the gloom. From to time the
-Bishop’s right hand moved to pull the folds more closely over his
-knees, unconsciously, for he did not know that he was cold. Down below,
-under the rear piazza, at the grated iron door of the basement kitchen,
-the man who tended the furnace had set the whirring bell sounding again
-and again, but all unheeded. The two maids, returning, rang and knocked
-at all the doors, only to go away, baffled. The Bishop heard no sounds
-from without.
-
-Near the Bishop’s left hand, the corner by the window where the Friend
-was standing always harbored Annie’s work basket. It stood on three
-bamboo legs, an ample, covered basket, in which the old darning cotton
-was still, as long ago, a little tangled. Looking toward that little
-workstand the Bishop remembered that it was Annie he was sitting up to
-wait for. She was coming in very soon. Or was it Nan he was awaiting?
-Or someone else?
-
-The flowing lines of the Nazarene’s talith melted into the folds of
-the long curtain close to which He was standing. He was looking forth,
-together with the Bishop, on the Bishop’s town, where he had failed.
-Too tired to think about that any more, the Bishop only knew that the
-Friend understood failure. The little quick upward smile showed like a
-spent child’s, too tired to do anything but trust.
-
-Yet the Bishop’s thought, in retrospect upon his Christmas Day, was
-strangely clear, as he looked out on that familiar picture, white stars
-above in the night-blue and, below, the blackness gemmed by ruddier
-earth-lights. So dark now, yet so bright with sun and hope in the
-Christmas morning! His thought went out to the unseen houses, each
-holding a little group of his friends, following them to the bend of
-the river until his fancy walked once more among the tenements where he
-knew the brown babies with their great black eyes, his friends, too.
-
-Of late he had so often looked out on his little city wrapped in night,
-but not as now. Before, he had been thinking of his Christmas gift,
-the House of Friendship, which should, in the terms of some strange
-symbolism, give back to Westbury the beauty it had once given him. But
-this was not to be. He was quite clear about it all, and quiet. It was
-night now, and he had not done any of the things he had meant to do
-in the morning. He had not even gone to church. God’s chalice! He had
-not been able on this Christmas Day to offer it to one soul in all his
-Westbury!
-
-All day long his hands had been baffled of their gift-giving. That
-was sometimes God’s way, the Bishop knew, as he leaned back in this
-strange, expectant peace. Suddenly, sharp as paintings torch-lit
-against a gloom, there passed before him again, as on the black street,
-those three faces out of his Christmas Day: Mrs. Graham’s, black hate
-scarcely lighted by love for that little Christmas baby; Newbold’s,
-storm-tossed upon a struggle that gave no presage of victory; and
-Lucy’s, seamed with the subtleties of a loneliness that could not see
-the only help for lonely living. These three faces were, God in his
-mystery had showed him to-day, only the symbols of his larger failure,
-in his town, in his diocese. His little garden space hedged in for him
-out of all the world, he had tended it with much love but with little
-wisdom. So God would have to take care of it now.
-
-Sharp again, just as the three faces had flashed forth out of darkness
-and passed close against the Bishop’s eyes, came other visions and
-pictures, those of his Christ-child poem of the morning. Only now it
-was no sacred city of the Orient, but the dumb and sleeping streets of
-Westbury where the Child went wandering. As before, he knocked, all
-eager, and again opening doors flashed ruddy on the night, to close
-again with a low dull sound. On and on he fled, a glimmering baby-form
-blown on the winter wind, until the Bishop’s eyes closed wearily from
-following. He opened them with a twitch of pain, and there without,
-close against the dark sash the Child was standing, not sad at all, but
-sweet and smiling. Then instantly this picture, like the others, faded,
-and again the Bishop knew himself with the familiarity of unnumbered
-silent nights like this one, seated alone in his study, quiet with
-the peace of the Friend. Through all the solitary hours of all the
-solitary years, the Friend had always stood there, clear-figured, by
-the eastward window.
-
-The night was wearing on as the Bishop sat, waiting. Very soon they
-would be there. He remembered that he had been looking for them all
-the day. It would be very cosy to have them coming in on Christmas
-night--his own!
-
-But at the chiming of those two words through his brain, thought
-sharply asserted itself, keen and crystalline in retrospect. As a man
-brings all his life to God at the end, the Bishop looked into the
-Nazarene’s eyes from the picture of the little city that belonged to
-them both, whispering, “But those out there have been my own.”
-
-Presently the silvered head sank back in the sudden drowsiness that
-falls upon the very old, but even as he yielded to it, the Bishop’s
-eyelids flickered an instant. He looked again toward the Friend,
-forever clear against the curtained window. He lifted his right hand a
-little, like a child, not knowing how confident it was. Too tired and
-sleepy to be conscious of anything at all but that Presence that filled
-all the room, the Bishop murmured happily, “And I have not been lonely!”
-
-The Bishop did not actually doze off, however, but sat resting quietly
-in the peaceful borderland of sleep. The threadbare house that
-harbored him was very silent. From time to time, across his dim worn
-face, fancies flickered, bright as a caged bird’s dreaming. Out of the
-engulfing vagueness of his brain, Annie came to him, the child-woman of
-long ago. His boat was rocking at the little pier waiting, as she came
-tripping down the terraces. He saw the upward sweep of the round young
-arms as she opened the high wrought-iron gate. She wore a white muslin
-sprigged with yellow, wide-skirted and flounced. The live brown of her
-hair was swept back into a net. Her face was soft olive and rose, her
-lips parted, and the eyes grave and steady, a child’s. On either side
-about the high black portals of the gate pulsed and flamed wee yellow
-roses. Slim, sturdy boy that he was, something had shaken him in that
-moment like a tossed leaf. Even now, old and dim in his chair, it was
-not the sense of her lips beneath his sudden ones that he remembered;
-it was that there in that instant he saw her eyes change forever to a
-woman’s. And the boy, all a-quiver with strong youth as he was, he,
-too, in that moment had changed into a man, a man forever reverent
-before the mystery he had wakened. The Bishop’s hand tightened on the
-chair arm, for he remembered that at last, at last, Annie was coming
-back to him. He was waiting for her to come in.
-
-Again thought shifted many a year; and he sat expectant of a knock,
-light, imperative, merry, Nan’s evening knock. The door swung in and
-she entered, that tall, slim girl of his. She wore a white dress girt
-about in the absurd panniers of the eighties. Her dark hair was looped
-low at her neck. She had her mother’s brooding brown eyes lightened by
-her father’s twinkle. She sank on a hassock at his knee, folding her
-long figure up in a trick of grace she had.
-
-“Ready to hear a secret, father?”
-
-As on so many, many evenings, he was ready to hear a secret, the
-secrets a motherless girl may tell to her father. The Bishop remembered
-still one secret she had told him which had seemed to be a fine silk
-thread cutting his heart in two, for the father, listening, knew that
-the man Nan loved was not worthy of her. Then a tiny smile touched the
-worn old lips, a smile of pride, half-jealous, at the memory that it
-was her father, not her husband, that Nan had first told about her
-little baby. The father’s blood, even now, beat faster at the thought
-of that remembered hope. Then again he saw the wee waxen form on Nan’s
-arm. But instantly mysterious glad expectancy swept that sight from
-him as he recalled that even now he was listening for Nan’s tap-tap at
-his study door, Nan, once more coming to tell him a secret, a secret
-blithe, unguessed.
-
-The house had ceased to be silent; there were movings, stirrings,
-voices, through it. They seemed to be without, on the stairs, and
-above, in the upper rooms. There were people on the stairs, mounting up
-and up on jocund feet. The Bishop heard it perfectly clear now, Annie’s
-voice from his bedroom overhead, “Up here, I’m up here, Hal!”
-
-But listen! There on the hallstair, that was surely a child he heard
-now! It was little Nan, chuckling and chattering as she climbed. It was
-her old merry challenge to her father to be out and after her as up she
-scampered. Yet no, that was not Nan, that merry call was a boy’s, a
-baby’s,--it was Nan’s baby-boy, who had just learned to go upstairs.
-The Bishop heard the small ecstatic feet, the slap of exultant little
-palms on each step achieved. And, like little Nan, the brave wee
-grandson meant the Bishop to follow him, as on he scurried, up and up,
-where the stairs were multiplied, were mounting, ever higher, higher.
-
-Again the sounds on the stair changed to other footfalls, lighter,
-firmer, surer, but like the others, very glad; fleet and pattering,
-pattering, spirit-light, the steps of the little Christ-Child, going
-home.
-
-A slight tremor ran through the length of the form seated there, silver
-and black. Suddenly all mist was wiped from the Bishop’s brain, leaving
-it clear. The Nazarene laid his hand on the window-sash, as if opening
-a door. “Rise!” He said, “Let us go forth into the morning.”
-
-Beyond the silent house, Westbury slept on, the star-lit, throbbing
-city, not knowing. The deep sleep of the earliest dawn held those three
-faces of the Bishop’s failure, sleep of victors, spent with struggle.
-In the morning they would awaken, the three the Bishop had loved, to
-know! In the morning all Westbury would awaken, to know,--that there
-was only one way to love him now!
-
-In the house of each heart that must perforce hold his memory like a
-shrine, there could never be any chamber for hate. Through the gift of
-his three years’ presence should the grandmother hold to her breast her
-baby’s baby, until love, overflowing, should enfold that black-mooded
-woman, her son’s wife, and both, being mothers, should learn the way of
-peace by guiding there the little feet of a little child. This, himself
-all unwitting, should be the Bishop’s immortal gift.
-
-Even so, by divine largess of life given to life, should Murray Newbold
-become the Bishop’s spiritual son. Henceforth, always--instant,
-insistent--should the Bishop’s presence seem near him at every
-turning-point, compelling, as in the darkened study on that last day of
-all their days together.
-
-And the woman who had loved the boy, Henry Collinton, she, too,
-through his gift of a beauty steadfast to the end, should in the last
-brief years find ease of her lifelong hunger. In unspoken kinship of
-loneliness must they draw near now, the man and the woman who had
-walked closest to him, to rear together his last wish. Deathless as
-dream should rise the House of Friendship, for, passing, the Bishop
-had found the way to give himself. It is only a little city where he
-offered the chalice of his spirit, and only a little space his whole
-bishopric, yet all the world is richer for the gift of his Christmas
-soul.
-
-Westbury shall know now,--shining old face beneath the shabby hat,
-stooping old shoulders beneath the worn cape overcoat, spent old feet
-that walked these careless streets--Westbury shall know now, their
-Bishop, passed from them, their own forever.
-
-Yet these things the Bishop did not know, for God was showing him more
-beautiful things, even as all his life He had been showing him the
-things that are more beautiful than fulfilment. All happily he sat
-there in his old study chair, looking toward the eastward window.
-
-His face had changed to a beauty of light. Gently on the chair arms
-rested the lean old hands, as very softly the gray room brightened at
-the coming of the dawn.
-
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s Notes
-
-Page 93: “that I did when” changed to “than I did when”
-
-Page 115: “Murry Newbold” changed to “Murray Newbold”
-
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- The Christmas Bishop, by Winifred Kirkland—A Project Gutenberg eBook
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-<body>
-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Christmas Bishop, by Winifred Kirkland</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Christmas Bishop</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Winifred Kirkland</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Illustrator: Louise G. Morrison</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 22, 2022 [eBook #68590]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP ***</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-<h1>THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP</h1>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img001">
- <img src="images/001.jpg" class="w50" alt="Sometimes, against the dark faces of the housefronts, window shades
-were rolled up, like eyelids opening, on home-pictures that reminded
-the Bishop it was Christmas night" />
-</span></p>
-<p class="center caption">Sometimes, against the dark faces of the housefronts, window shades
-were rolled up, like eyelids opening, on home-pictures that reminded
-the Bishop it was Christmas night<br /><i>See <a href="#Page_140">page 140</a></i></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p class="center">
-<span class="vbig">The Christmas Bishop</span></p>
-<p class="center p2">
-<span class="small">BY</span><br />
-<br />
-<span class="big">WINIFRED KIRKLAND</span><br />
-<br />
-<i>Author of “Introducing Corinna,” “The Home-Comers,” etc.</i><br />
-</p><p class="center p2">
-<span class="small">ILLUSTRATED BY</span><br />
-<br />
-<span class="big">LOUISE G. MORRISON</span></p>
-<p class="center p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002">
- <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Publisher mark" />
-</span></p>
-<p class="center p4">BOSTON<br />
-<span class="big">SMALL, MAYNARD AND COMPANY</span><br />
-PUBLISHERS<br />
-</p>
-
-</div>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-
-<p class="center p2 small">
-Copyright, 1913<br />
-By SMALL, MAYNARD AND COMPANY<br />
-(Incorporated)</p>
-<p class="center p4">
-THE VAIL-BALLOU <abbr title="company">CO.</abbr>,<br />
-<span class="smcap small">Binghamton, <abbr title="New York">N. Y.</abbr></span><br />
-</p></div>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak vbig" id="THE_CHRISTMAS_BISHOP">THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP</h2>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_I">PART I</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>Christmas morning, blue-black, pricked with stars against the Bishop’s
-window panes. Westbury lay asleep beside its curving river, the great
-old houses with gardens that ran terraced to the bank, the churches,
-the college, even the new teeming tenements at the bending of the
-water, all lay asleep in the Christmas dawning. The Bishop alone was
-awake, and against the darkness before his eyes pictures raced. He had
-been a poet once, so long ago that when sometimes they sang his hymns
-in church he had forgotten they were his, but he still kept the poet’s
-trick of thinking in pictures during those strangely alert moments
-between sleep and full awakening. The pictures fell into the march of a
-poem.</p>
-
-<p>It was a storied city built upon two hills cleft<span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span> by a valley.
-On the twin crests towered great palaces and a temple. Where the
-hills sank toward the north, there were terraced streets and narrow
-climbing byways. There were markets and booths and all the signs of
-multitudinous life, but throughout all the place one heard no sound,
-saw nothing that moved, yet one knew that the whole city throbbed with
-the pulse-beats of innumerable homes. A gray pall hung low, as if the
-abrupt Oriental dawn had been arrested; the gray dimmed the marble of
-the palaces, and dulled the temple gold. In the silent gloom one waited.</p>
-
-<p>One did not know whence he had come, the Child who was suddenly there,
-in the streets of that city without stars, a sacred city once; but
-wherever he knocked upon the portal, quickly all within woke to life,
-and became a teeming, bustling household; again, when he withdrew, all
-was once more silence and darkness.</p>
-
-<p>He was a tiny child, barefoot and pale, some little lost waif from the
-mountains who had come seeking his kinsfolk among the homes. So fast
-he pattered over the pavement that his pale hair<span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span> and his white tunic
-streamed upon the wind. His little yearning hands stretched out showed
-fair as a baby’s in that wintry twilight. Ever and again he knocked and
-entered, and always, entering, his face flamed with hope, and always,
-coming forth, he was sobbing, for he found no welcome.</p>
-
-<p>On and on he went, while each black street along which he hurried was
-stabbed ever and again by the opening and shutting of a ruddy door.
-In the silence one heard it plain, the heavy sound of a door that
-closed because it did not know him. At length he had passed the city
-portals and was mounting the hill-slope that is Golgotha, a form all
-pale upon the dark, blown hair and robe and pattering feet. There the
-Child turned, for it seemed he was the little Prince of that city,
-and all the folk his kin. Rising a-tiptoe he stretched out his hands,
-cross-wise, to them in love, and suddenly the sun, withheld, leaped
-kingly above the hills beyond Jordan, and the silent air was full of
-wings and of voices, the chant of the Christmas angels singing home the
-Homeless One, and in that flood of light and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span> song all that city knew
-the Child they had lost their own, forever.</p>
-
-<p>Slowly, before the Bishop’s eyes, that gold radiance dimmed into the
-bleak gray twilight that was stealing over his room. Sharp as life
-shall strike at visions came a sound from below that struck the dreamy
-smile from his lips, leaving a twitching pain; certain sounds had that
-power of intolerable renewal. A homely enough sound, merely the thud
-of a lid dropped upon a flour bin, but it seemed now to be a flour bin
-in a doll-house pantry in their first Rectory, his and Annie’s. He
-would seek her there before going out to his parish calls. She would be
-standing with her back to him, hands deep in dough, and would turn to
-him her cheek, olive that always went rose beneath his kiss. He could
-still hear the catch of her breath as she whispered good-by, for Annie,
-deeply joyous, had yet always treated joy a little apprehensively,
-as if knowing it would not last so very long. Looking back over many
-years, the Bishop thought how young Annie had been when she died, and
-Nan had been younger still. Nan! There it was again! That flash<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span> of hot
-pain through his head, followed by a numbing dullness, even stranger
-to bear. He had felt this several times of late. The Bishop ran a hand
-over his forehead. He seemed to be floating far, without thought, yet
-this was not sleep. Slowly, slowly, he drew back, but his thoughts
-were heavy, not clear. He seemed to lie there waiting, waiting for
-something. Surely thus he had always waited on Christmas morning. He
-listened. It would come in a moment. There! A scurry along the hall,
-the clatter of the door-handle, a rush, a jump, curls, lips, bubbling
-chuckles, little cold toes to be warmed in his hand! Hear the shouts
-and the singing of her, feel the pummelling of her little hands!</p>
-
-<p>“Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!” shrilling straight up to the angels!
-Was she not Christmas joy turned mad, his little girl!</p>
-
-<p>He was full awake now. His lips formed a word. We are very weary of old
-pain repeated when we whisper out to God like that.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop wondered why people say that one grows used to loss, and
-that old age grows dull in feeling. Still he had got used to it, of
-course.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span> This was Christmas, too; it was quite natural that he should
-feel it more on Christmas. He must be a little patient then with
-himself about it, perhaps, on Christmas. Yet when had there been a day
-when he had not missed them, his own!</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop turned toward the eastward window, and on his gray and
-beautiful face fell the gray and beautiful morning, for the Bishop was
-one who had made God a habit, so that he turned to Him instinctively
-without thinking about it at all. And since also he was a man of quick
-visual imagination he thought of God quite simply: he saw Him standing
-there, between the bed and the brightening window, in the form of a
-young Jewish rabbi. He always stood there, to greet the Bishop’s day.
-Together they always went about, step matching step, so that the Bishop
-was never a lonely man. To himself he always thought of the Nazarene as
-the Friend, because, so he thought, it was by loneliness that Jesus had
-learned how to love. Since the Bishop always thought in words and in
-pictures, it seemed to him that the Friend said<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span> to him now, “Rise. Let
-us go forth into the morning. It is Christmas. It is the day of giving.”</p>
-
-<p>While he dressed, the Bishop still knew God standing there, but felt
-rather than seen, being lost sometimes in mist and dizziness. The
-spaces in the room were strange; it was a very long journey to the
-washstand, and the white window squares seemed to advance and then
-recede. The Bishop could see his brush plainly enough on the bureau
-scarf, but it was a long time before he could make his hand reach it.
-He had to smile quaintly at himself at last, for he was sitting on
-the bed mechanically counting the flower baskets in the worn Brussels
-carpet, flower baskets that ran diagonally to the chair holding his
-coat. Groping a little, the Bishop achieved the coat, then stood
-trembling. Undoubtedly he was ill that morning, but Mrs. Graham should
-not know it! For he must go out, he must go to church, there was no
-service in all the year so dear to him as the Christmas communion at
-<abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s. He would force his blurring head to go through with it,
-and Mrs. Graham should not keep him<span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span> in! Keep him in! A frown twitched
-on his forehead, an old man’s helplessness at the thought of coddling.
-Why should a woman he had known but three years be so solicitous over
-his health, dictating about his rubbers and his socks—he was not ill,
-nor was he so very old! At that his brow cleared in a sunny flash of
-amusement, for of course, he was very old, eighty-one, and besides
-Mrs. Graham was very good to him. Still to-day she must not keep him
-at home, for to stand once more within the rail offering the chalice
-to his people had become a deep and blind desire, overmastering all
-sense of weakness. Besides, there were other matters and grave ones to
-be seen to, to-day. Somehow—he looked toward the eastward window—the
-strength would come for the day, as it always came.</p>
-
-<p>Slowly, while he stood looking out into the morning grown rosy now with
-the coming sun, his head cleared more and more, as he thought about his
-Westbury as it brightened beneath the Christmas sunrise. Few towns, the
-Bishop thought, had changed so little in sixty years. He looked out on
-the same Westbury he had first<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span> seen when he had come to <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s
-college as a boy. Stately old River Street with its twin rows of elms
-still curved to the curve of the river. Each quiet old house had in the
-rear a terraced wintry garden sloping to the wide and sparkling water.
-The Bishop knew each of these houses, even as far as Lucy Hollister’s,
-which was beyond his sight. Lucy still kept the house of her girlhood
-where the Bishop had first known her, known Lucy and her cousin, Annie.
-Far beyond Lucy’s house, River Street changed to towering tenements and
-grimed factories, the place of the strangers, where the Bishop often
-walked, but wistful and puzzled, for it was this part of Westbury alone
-that had changed since his boyhood, although even then it had been the
-place of work-people, for whom <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s Southside Mission had been
-founded. The Bishop stood thinking of the mission.</p>
-
-<p>Well in sight, breaking the row of houses set among their wintry trees,
-sprang the spire of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, and beyond its Rectory lay the brown,
-cube-like buildings of the college above the sweeping river, a small
-college of mighty men. It was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span> there that the Bishop and his roommate,
-Barty Judd, had learned to dream dreams. It was the glory of Westbury,
-the kindly old city, remote, unworldly, that it had set so many young
-men dreaming. The Bishop smiled to think how proudly Westbury still
-pointed to its seven bishops, for the spirit of Westbury had not
-changed in all the sixty years since the founding of the mission.
-Westbury had given the Bishop, he thought, the most beautiful thing in
-his life; it was this that brought the light to his face as he thought
-of the gift he wished to give Westbury in return, to-day, if—if he
-could! At that “if” his eyes deepened with a sharp and subtle change,
-then cleared as the passing thought of the day before him yielded
-to memories, and he saw the afternoon of the laying of the mission
-corner-stone. As they had walked home together, the Bishop, after long
-silence, had broken into boyish fire of words, seeing all his life
-before him. Lucy had listened and answered, but Annie had been silent.</p>
-
-<p>Dreamer as the boy had been, he had never dreamed of coming back one
-day, long afterwards,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span> and living to be an old, old man in the bishop’s
-house in Westbury.</p>
-
-<p>The sun was climbing to a golden blaze now, filling with hope the
-day before the Bishop. He was always a good deal of a child in his
-Christmas feeling. There was work before him on this Christmas day, in
-his own house and out of it. Quite simply he closed his eyes a moment,
-with bowed head, thinking of the Westbury he loved and of three within
-it, whom he should see that day.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s tall figure swayed a little as he grasped the stair
-rail, and for an instant his gaze was vague upon the dusky hall, upon
-the gloomy wall-paper, the threadbare carpet. It was a gray and worn
-old house in which the Bishop’s soul was harbored. A succession of
-housekeepers, under the oversight of Mrs. Hollister, kept it in order,
-but it needs the authority of kinship to change a wall-paper or a
-carpet. Thus it was that the Bishop’s long hallway was hardly more his
-own than the pavement outside, or his own dining-room door before which
-he paused, hardly more his own than the doors along his familiar<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span> River
-Street. His hand lingered on the knob, for, thinking of Mrs. Graham
-within, and of the testing now of his three years’ hope, he had grown
-apprehensive and wistful. Then his face flashed firm in a smile, as he
-looked toward Someone beside him there in the dim hall. That little way
-of looking toward the Friend with a quick upward smile was one of the
-Bishop’s habits engendered by solitude. He never meant to betray his
-thought publicly, yet sometimes wayfarers in the train, on the street,
-were startled at the sudden passing of strange light across the gray
-face, making it, as now in the opening doorway, the face of a little
-child. The Bishop bent toward the black-clad little woman before him
-the bow that belonged to the days of his youth. Age had stooped his
-shoulders, but never stiffened their grace, nor that of the sweep of
-his extended hand. His face—lean, clear-chiselled, blue-eyed, and
-heavily thatched with white—was ashine with Christmas greeting.</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you a beautiful Christmas!” he said.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Graham’s glance met the Bishop’s furtively. She had restless brown
-eyes beneath a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span> tranquil parting of brown hair, curling and lightly
-silvered. Her mouth looked as if locked upon discontent. She was a
-stout, rosy little woman who moved in a heavy, bustling manner. She put
-her hand into the Bishop’s awkwardly, never having become accustomed to
-one who shook hands as a morning greeting.</p>
-
-<p>“Merry Christmas,” she murmured perfunctorily, as, in the holiday
-absence of a maid, she turned toward the business of the Bishop’s
-breakfast. The raised slide of the dumb-waiter made a gap in the
-solid paneling of dark cupboards occupying one wall. Like other
-dining-rooms on River Street, the room had two long windows looking
-toward the water. There was a wide piazza beyond them, hung with the
-gnarly ropes of leafless Virginia creeper. It was a dark-wainscoted
-room, but now the level eastern sun flooded it, and there was a great
-crimson spot of roses at the Bishop’s plate. The table was set for
-one, he noticed; when Maria was away, Mrs. Graham insisted on serving
-him with her own hands, instead of settling comfortably into her usual
-seat. In the silent room, only the sound<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span> of the dumb waiter that
-creaked and rattled, but the Bishop was waiting to speak, after the
-long patience of three years. When his breakfast had been set forth to
-her satisfaction, Mrs. Graham sank upon the edge of a chair near the
-window, keeping an alert eye on the Bishop’s needs, but having also an
-air of absence.</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” she burst out at last, “so it’s Christmas again!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” the Bishop smiled, “‘again.’ It comes around pretty often,
-doesn’t it? This is your third Christmas in Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder how many more I’ll have, in Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it such a bad place to spend Christmas in then, Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p>“Bad for me, yes! After Fair Orchard!”</p>
-
-<p>“But I had hoped you had begun to feel at home in Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“Me! At home! In Westbury! No, I’ve no place here and never can have.
-I see that plain enough,—just a housekeeper, anyway! I’ve no place
-in the place, I mean, like at home! Oh, there’s no harm in Westbury!
-It’s not as<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span> bad as some towns. There’s show here, but it’s not showy;
-there’s money, but there’s manners, too! Only there’s no <em>heart</em>
-in the place! How could there be, with Dr. Newbold running the church
-and Mrs. Hollister running society?”</p>
-
-<p>“They both have hearts, I am sure, Mrs. Graham.”</p>
-
-<p>“Maybe. Not for plain people, or poor people, though. Maybe for you.
-Although Dr. Newbold—” she broke off sharply, teeth on lip, while her
-eyes, too full and bright with meaning, changed before the Bishop’s
-gaze, and she altered her unspoken sentence, concluding, “Dr. Newbold
-suits the place all right. He don’t suit me, that’s all. It’s kind of
-spoiled church for me, going to <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, and church in Fair Orchard
-was such a lot to me. It’s queer when you always hear about Westbury
-being such a strong church place that it should have spoiled church
-for me. It’s all right when you preach, of course, Bishop, but it’s
-something else I’m talking about. It was different at home—oh,” her
-rosy face darkened savagely, “sometimes it seems as if<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span> my church was
-just another of the things she’s taken from me along with my home and
-my boy!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop closed his eyes an instant, seeking counsel.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s Christmas that upsets me so! Christmas that brings it all back on
-me so. And then to-day she sent, Florence herself, she sent the baby’s
-picture on a post-card. It’s signed ‘From Florence.’ You’d think after
-all that’s happened, she’d have let Dan send it, the first word I’ve
-had from either of them for three years!”</p>
-
-<p>She rose and filled the coffee cup abruptly. “Well,” she jerked the
-words out, “Christmas and other days, I’ve got to grin and bear it,
-being turned out by my son’s wife. But it’s been worse since there was
-a baby.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s the baby’s first Christmas,” mused the Bishop.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he’s seven months and sixteen days old.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop smiled up at her, “May I see him? Where is the picture?”</p>
-
-<p>She laid it before him. The Bishop adjusted<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span> his glasses, then removed
-them to look from the picture to a keen scrutiny of the grandmother’s
-face.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” she answered his look. “You see it then? The baby looks like us,
-like Dan and me. And I can see Dan’s father in him, too. There’s not a
-hair of him that looks like the Reynoldses,—that lot!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop was examining the photograph minutely. Mrs. Graham looked
-over his shoulder, but at his next word she moved away again. “That’s
-his mother’s hand holding him, isn’t it, that shadow under his arm?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes! His mother’s hand! He looks like us, but he don’t belong to us!
-He’s hers!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop glanced up, “And I suppose he’s also the other
-grandmother’s.”</p>
-
-<p>“No! Florence has no mother. I’m all the grandmother that baby’s got!”</p>
-
-<p>“I think you never told me that before,” he paused thoughtfully, then
-looking over to her standing by the window, he said, feeling slowly for
-words, “So the baby’s mother, that girl out at Fair-Orchard, has had no
-mother—to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span> go with her—on that way—a woman goes, to bring home, a
-little child?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s voice was soft with the awe of many years ago. The
-grandmother flushed, muttering, “She would not have wanted <em>me</em>.
-She had Dan.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s eyelids had fallen, quivering, over his eyes. He was far
-away; again he watched with Annie, with Nan, as he said, “But men
-cannot understand. God does not mean them to. Such things are a secret
-between God and women, like the coming of Mary’s little child. Each
-mother needs a mother then. It was not—it was not till then that I
-understood how much my Nan had lost when she lost her mother.”</p>
-
-<p>“It did not live, did it, at all, your daughter’s child?” whispered
-Mrs. Graham.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop shook his head, not speaking, thinking of the little waxen
-loveliness they had laid to sleep with Nan in the hollow of her
-arm. His lips showed their rare palsied trembling, murmuring, “Both
-together, Nan and the little one. She had been so well! I was not
-prepared—” the eyelids of his quiet gray face trembled, then<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span> opened
-on the blue eyes, as he said, “Of course, we know they do not die.
-They are alive, somewhere where the dreams come true that we dream
-for our children.” He smiled into her eyes, “For we are great old
-dreamers, aren’t we, we grandparents?” He raised his hand from the
-chair-arm, as if it would have pleaded, “But I think each mother needs
-the grandmother to help her dream. I think she is wanting you now, that
-Florence out there.”</p>
-
-<p>She faced sharp about, “Florence! Want me!” She looked at him in grim
-pity at his simplicity. “No, Bishop, Florence don’t want me! No more
-than I want her! We’re misfits, Florence and me,—worse luck for Dan,
-and for me, and for the baby, too, now!”</p>
-
-<p>The blue eyes a-twinkle, “And worse luck for Florence, too,” he
-persisted. “She sent you the picture. Wasn’t it perhaps to say that she
-wants to show you the baby himself?”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s like you to think that, Bishop, but it’s not like Florence to
-mean that. I understand Florence! I can still see her face plain, that
-last morning!”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You have not seen her face since there was a baby. Perhaps she
-understands you, too, now. Perhaps she understands, now, what it costs,
-to give up an only child to anyone.”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s it, of course, that’s what finished me up, her getting Dan, the
-way she has. I guess I seem pretty mean to you, but Dan was all I had.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think I understand,” the Bishop said quietly.</p>
-
-<p>Arrested by his tone she turned, “Was he good, your daughter’s husband?
-Did you get on with him?”</p>
-
-<p>“No one is good enough for an only child. Yes, he was good. He—he has
-been remarried for a long time, you know.” He spoke with long pauses,
-remembering, “Yes, I got on with him. I should have lost my daughter if
-I hadn’t. We had one happy year, together. Getting on is hard. But not
-getting on is harder.”</p>
-
-<p>She did not speak, turned from him again toward the window, intent,
-musing.</p>
-
-<p>“Isn’t it,” he pleaded, “harder?”</p>
-
-<p>“You didn’t have to,” she spoke chokily, “get<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span> on with Florence! Maybe
-you could, though, you, Bishop. But I couldn’t! You couldn’t maybe
-understand how I can’t forgive her for all that she’s taken from me,—a
-man couldn’t maybe understand, even you. It’s the mother working in
-me. They used to laugh at me over home, and say I mothered all the
-village. Yet now I can’t get at Dan, nor at the baby. I haven’t anyone
-to mother, and it seems as if it makes me sort of,” she struck away a
-tear with an awkward gesture, “sort of smothery!”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes bent on her in sharp intentness, “There is someone for you to
-mother!” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Who?”</p>
-
-<p>“Florence!”</p>
-
-<p>“Florence!” her voice hissed.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes!”</p>
-
-<p>Her trembling lips turned hard, “I guess I’d have to forgive her first!”</p>
-
-<p>“Couldn’t you?” he questioned, while the blue eyes grew softly a-shine.
-“Couldn’t you, to-day? Couldn’t you, for instance, go out to them to
-spend Christmas, to-day?” His plan, long suppressed, came hurrying
-forth. “It’s so near,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span> and so easy! Only thirty miles to that baby!
-The train leaves at ten, you have time. There’s another train back at
-seven-two. And you needn’t mind about me. I shall be out all day, first
-a visit I must make, then the service, and afterward I dine with Mrs.
-Hollister. You are quite free, you see, to go!”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m free enough, yes,” she admitted, “but I haven’t the will to go,
-that’s all.”</p>
-
-<p>“To the baby?”</p>
-
-<p>“To Florence! It would mean making up with Florence!”</p>
-
-<p>Lips and eyes showed a quick pleading smile as he said, “Isn’t that
-perhaps what Christmas and babies are for, for making up?”</p>
-
-<p>She was silent, her breast in its tightly hooked black rose and
-fell. “But people!” she broke forth at length. “Everybody knowing!
-The village knows I was turned out, and that there’s not been a word
-between us for three years. I can’t go crawling back now, just because
-there’s a baby come,—everybody looking on, everybody knowing!”</p>
-
-<p>“It isn’t everybody’s baby. It’s yours, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span> hers,” then gravely, “I
-was not thinking of other people. I was just thinking how much she
-needs her mother, that girl!”</p>
-
-<p>“Florence!” she said, and there were many thoughts in her tone, slow,
-incredulous.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s eyes grew remote and bright, seeing Florence. He spoke
-a little dreamily, “She needs you now, and she knows she needs you!
-She may have been hard once, being young and without a mother. She
-may have been cruel. It is different now. She does not feel so secure
-now. They are so afraid for their babies, don’t you remember, always,
-these little new mothers. There are so many dangers lying in wait for
-the little men before they’ve got their armor on. There must be advice
-to give, and care to give—oh, Florence knows how much he needs his
-grandmother! Go and see. Can’t you? Couldn’t you? I—I’m in such a
-hurry to have you go!”</p>
-
-<p>“If I could only hold him once, Dan’s baby!”</p>
-
-<p>“Florence’s baby, too,” he corrected gently.</p>
-
-<p>The brief light swept from her face. Her plump comfortable hands were
-knotted, and her round face drawn into dignity by pain. Her<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span> words were
-grave and final, “The way to that baby is only through Florence, so I
-can never go. I can never have him.”</p>
-
-<p>Involuntarily the Bishop’s hand went to his temple in a gesture of
-pain, then instantly was forced down. He hesitated, then at length,
-“‘Never’ is such a long word,” he said. “Sometimes God says it for us,
-but don’t—don’t let us ever say it for ourselves! You know,” a passing
-tremor ran along his lips, “He didn’t let me have the grandchild
-I hoped for, but don’t—don’t lose having yours. It seems as if I
-couldn’t let you go on losing,—that. I am in such a hurry somehow
-to-day. Can’t you go out there to-day, now? Take the baby the Christmas
-present his mother most wants for him, take him his grandmother!”</p>
-
-<p>She turned on him, intense, “Bishop, do you know what it’s like to make
-up with a person who’s done you wrong? Do you know what it feels like
-to forgive? A person who’d hurt you? Where you care most?”</p>
-
-<p>A moment he groped in past experience for the answer, then in a rush of
-realization it came<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span> upon him. He rose a little unsteadily, that he,
-too, might stand to face her, as she stood by the curtained recess of
-the window, where the searchlight of the Christmas sun fell relentless
-on the drawn intensity of her plump face. The Bishop’s lean, corded
-hands rested on the two ebony knobs of the chair back. He did not
-notice, nor did she, that he swayed slightly with a passing dizziness.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he answered slowly, thinking of one he soon must see to-day, “I
-know how it feels. Yes, I have had to learn, how to forgive—where I
-cared most!”</p>
-
-<p>“How did you make yourself do it? How?”</p>
-
-<p>He would have evaded if he could. “I only know the old way,” he said
-humbly, for the Bishop was shy in speaking of some things, as one is
-shy in speaking about any friend in his presence.</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me how!”</p>
-
-<p>“I only know one way,” he repeated simply. “We all get at the truth
-from different angles, so there may be many ways to learn to forgive,
-but I can only tell you about the way that I have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span> tried.” The Bishop
-was so old that often, as now, his eyes showed the reflection of the
-harbor-lights in view. As always in his sermons, he had now lost, in
-his very consciousness of their needs, the presence of his audience in
-the overwhelming Presence of which he forced himself to speak, “The
-way I have found is to try always to see through His eyes. I think He
-is always very near us, trying always to lift us to the level of His
-eyes, so that we can look forth from that point of view. I think He is
-always trying and trying to say things to us to excuse—the people who
-have hurt us. If only we could clear our ears to hear Him! If only we
-could stand at the level of His outlook into souls! Then we should see
-so much that’s pitiable and excusable, so many handicaps and mistakes,
-so much to make us sorry for them that we couldn’t help forgiving. He
-always saw enough in every soul to make Him patient, and if we don’t
-see enough to make us patient, too, we have to trust His vision and
-insight, and forgive because He does.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet it is hardest,” the Bishop’s face showed a passing shadow, as he
-looked inward upon past<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span> struggles and forward to that next interview
-of his Christmas Day, “to forgive those who hurt <em>Him</em>, His work.
-Yet he forgave even that, upon His cross. When we remember that, I do
-not know how I—how we—<em>dare</em> not to forgive.” He paused, while
-his fingers on the black knobs tightened, then the shadow of his face
-was struck away by the quick sunshine of reassurance. He looked toward
-Mrs. Graham, “You see,” he said, “it seems to me that if God in all
-His eternity has no time to be stern, then perhaps we—who have such
-a little while! have no time for anything but loving. Don’t you,” he
-pleaded, “don’t you think so, too?”</p>
-
-<p>The ruddiness had paled from her cheeks. She was looking at him with
-wide, intense eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s your way, Bishop. But it’s what I couldn’t—ever climb up
-to,—I guess.” She had to fight to speak, against her choking breath,
-“I’m one of those you’ll have to forgive, I’m afraid, for not doing
-what you want. I wish I could, on your account. But it don’t seem as if
-I could make up with Florence. But I can’t bear that you should look
-like that, Bishop,—disappointed!<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span> Don’t, please don’t, mind! It’s just
-that I’m a mother who’s lost her boy, and wants him back and can’t get
-him, him and his baby!”</p>
-
-<p>“And yet,” he answered, “they are all there, all ready for you,
-waiting, wanting you, all there! It is, it is, too bad!”</p>
-
-<p>“Florence!” she whispered.</p>
-
-<p>“Needing and wanting you most of all. Seeing, by the way her little one
-needs her, how much she needs a mother. Perhaps mothering is your way
-of forgiving. Couldn’t you try it? Florence has never had a chance, has
-she, to learn many things, if she has been a motherless girl? Perhaps
-she did hate you once. I don’t believe she hates anyone now. It’s very
-hard to hate when there’s a baby in the house. She sent the picture.
-She needs you. She knows she needs you, for she knows now what a child
-can miss who has no mother. Let us think of all she has missed, and not
-be too hard on her, you and I, any more.”</p>
-
-<p>She was silent, one hand tense upon the curtain cord.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s such a good day to go,” he urged, “such<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span> a good day to do the
-unexpected, Christmas! Everyone expects the unexpected, on Christmas.”</p>
-
-<p>A comical smile worked on her set face, “You do, anyway, Bishop!” she
-said with a catch in the throat.</p>
-
-<p>“I think I did allow myself to expect this,” he answered, “this
-making-up. Perhaps I expected it because I wanted it so, for I’ve been
-in such a hurry somehow, about that baby. Why, he’ll be growing up,
-while we’re still talking. You have three-quarters of an hour,” he
-glanced at the clock in quick remembrance of the visit to Dr. Newbold
-before church-time, “and you’ll go?”</p>
-
-<p>He waited.</p>
-
-<p>She was silent still, until she burst out, “I can’t! I’d say ‘yes’ if
-I could, when you beg me so. But I can’t say it, and I’ve got to be
-honest with you. I can’t say it!”</p>
-
-<p>Her face, working with sobs she forced down, was too painful to look
-at, yet it gave no hope.</p>
-
-<p>“I am very sorry,” he said quietly and turning went into the great
-study adjoining, which faced, like the dining-room, on the veranda and
-river. Suddenly very tired, he sank into his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span> desk chair, pressing the
-tips of his fingers to his temples, which had such a painful way of
-throbbing every little while this morning.</p>
-
-<p>“I did want it very much,” he acknowledged to himself, “very much.” He
-sat thinking, for some moments, then remembering, rose and went into
-the hall to put on his overcoat, whispering, “But it happened to Him
-like this always—always!”</p>
-
-<p>About to go out into the street, he turned back. The dining-room door
-was shut. He opened it. Mrs. Graham was still standing in the window
-recess, her forehead pressed to the cooling pane. There was no one
-to see her face. Common-place, coarse, ugly with tears, lights were
-trembling across it. “If she needs me,” she was whispering, “if she
-needs me,—” for a holy thing was being born.</p>
-
-<p>In the doorway, wearing his old cape overcoat, his face like a wistful
-child’s beneath his silver hair, the Bishop waited.</p>
-
-<p>“You will go?”</p>
-
-<p>She did not hear, nor know. She did not move until she started at a
-sound, the heavy closing of the outer door.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_II">PART II</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>The river was a splendor of Christmas sunshine. A flurry of snow had
-lightly powdered the brown sod beneath the double rows of elms. Few
-people were abroad. Sometimes a little group of children, eyes and feet
-a-dance, and cheeks nipped red, went tripping past the Bishop. Older
-folk passed with hearty, careless greeting, for the stooping figure
-in the cape overcoat was as familiar and unnoted as the river itself
-with all its mystery of light. The Bishop had known Westbury so long
-and so well that he felt that the homes by which he was passing, all
-bright with holly, were his homes, that he might have stopped anywhere
-to share the Christmasing. His slowly pacing feet, however, were bent
-on the old way toward <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s Rectory. In the old days the Bishop
-had always called at the Rectory to greet Barty Judd and his household
-before church-time, and he still kept to the habit,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span> even though it was
-so different now at the Rectory.</p>
-
-<p>A flock of sparrows came swooping down through the wintry silence
-with much chatter, and at the same time there came scudding across
-the street a little Italian newsboy as shrill and brown as the birds.
-The Bishop bought a paper, and made the youngster’s smile flash as he
-paused for a few words in his own tongue. Presently, as he went on, the
-newspaper dropped from the Bishop’s fingers, as he fell to thinking of
-that alien colony down below there, where the river curved, Westbury’s
-strangers. They had come so recently, the factories had sprung up so
-quickly, that the workers were still the strangers. It is true that the
-Bishop was well known to those teeming streets as the old man who spoke
-Italian and who loved babies, but he felt that he had done nothing for
-these others, really. Eighty years! How barren of accomplishment they
-looked beneath the searchlight of Christmas! But perhaps there was
-still time! His step quickened.</p>
-
-<p>As the Bishop passed beneath the shadow of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span> <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s church, the
-chimes clanged forth the ten o’clock hour. He glanced toward the door,
-thinking how calm and gentle and familiar everything was within. After
-all, his headache had melted away and nothing was to prevent his
-presence by the altar on this morning. The quiet of the chancel was
-restful to his fancy, lying beyond the visit immediately before him.</p>
-
-<p>As he turned up the Rectory steps, tugging slightly on the handrail,
-the door was flung open, and a tall boy came hurrying out. His thin,
-fine face was set and black, but a smile played across its frown when
-he saw the Bishop.</p>
-
-<p>“Good morning, Harry,” said the visitor, “and good Christmas.”</p>
-
-<p>“There’ll be no good Christmas here,” answered the low taut voice,
-“unless you’ve brought it, Bishop!”</p>
-
-<p>“No trouble here to-day, I hope?”</p>
-
-<p>“Trouble every day, now!” Then remembering dignity, Harry shut his
-lips, adding more calmly, “Father is not well this morning, Bishop. I
-am just going out to tell <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> Edgerton that he does not feel able to be
-at church.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I am very sorry.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m sorry, too,—sorry for mother and Lois! I am glad you’ve come. It
-will do them good to see you.”</p>
-
-<p>“And may I see your father, too?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think so, if you wish it. I shouldn’t wish it!” Harry murmured
-darkly, as he turned about to unlock the door he had slammed, calling
-in a low note of warning to his mother, and then leaving the Bishop
-with her in the drawing-room. The shades had been pulled down, the
-holly wreaths looked dull. A little mouse of a girl came out of a
-shadowy corner, and the mother’s arm went about the child’s shoulders
-as the two greeted the Bishop. They both had thin dark faces and
-intense brown eyes. The girl’s hair was dusky and the mother’s silver,
-above a forehead worn but unwrinkled. The girl’s dress was white and
-the mother’s clinging gray, and both wore sprays of blood-red holly.</p>
-
-<p>“Christmas joy to you both,” smiled the Bishop.</p>
-
-<p>“And happy Christmas to you, too, Bishop,” said the mother, while Lois
-took his hat and cane.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span> He tugged helplessly at his overcoat so that
-they each sprang to pull at a sleeve.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you. There! Don’t let yourself be eighty, Lois. It’s a sad thing
-to be older than your overcoat.” Then, seating himself, he continued,
-“Harry tells me his father is not well to-day. I am very sorry. I have
-been worried lately about him.”</p>
-
-<p>“We have all been worried. It is hard to understand. I suppose,” Mrs.
-Newbold smiled wanly, “it is just another case of ministerial nerves,
-but he suffers very much at times. I wish I could shield him from all
-worry, but I cannot always anticipate what is going to disturb him. We
-try, the children and I, but I fear we are very stupid. This morning,
-for instance—” she broke off, “this morning he felt quite unequal to
-the Christmas service, yet he is worried at not being there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Edgerton and I will manage the service. <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Newbold may be quite at
-ease about that. I hope—”</p>
-
-<p>A summoning bell from above rang sharply.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Newbold started, “Oh, Katie is at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span> church,” she exclaimed. “Run,
-Lois! No, I’ll go myself!” With fingers upon the portière, however, she
-paused.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop rose, an odd little flicker in his eyes. “Suppose I go,” he
-said, moving toward the hall.</p>
-
-<p>The wife looked at him, fighting for a tremulous smile. “There is
-nothing the matter really, of course. I shouldn’t let you go up. I know
-I ought to go. But—” she drew quick breath, concluding, “he’s in the
-study, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p>Once again as earlier in the day, the Bishop paused before a closed
-door. An instant he stood there, hesitant, with bowed head, deeply
-thoughtful, then he knocked with firm hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Come in, of course,” a voice thundered. “Why else should I ring except
-for you to come in!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop was standing quietly in the doorway. At sight of him, the
-bulky form flung upon the couch sprang up.</p>
-
-<p>“I—I—beg your pardon. I thought it was the maid, or my wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is merely your bishop.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s quiet length sank into a deep chair. His long slim hands
-rested calmly upon the leather arms.</p>
-
-<p><abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Newbold sat bolt upright upon the couch, darting furtive glances at
-the Bishop from eyes too blue for his reddened face. His right hand,
-strong and square, clutched a cushion tensely. The nervous twitching of
-his lips redeemed from heaviness a face clean-shaven but always bearing
-the blue-black shadow of a heavy growth of beard. There was a pleasant
-sweep of brow beneath jet hair.</p>
-
-<p>“I am sorry you find me so upset this morning, Bishop. They perhaps
-told you downstairs—” then he paused, remembering what they might well
-have told the Bishop downstairs!</p>
-
-<p>“Harry told me you were ill. I met him going out.”</p>
-
-<p>“I judged that he had gone out. Harry’s sole comment on his father’s
-headaches is slamming the front door!”</p>
-
-<p>“The youngsters know so little about headaches,” answered the Bishop;
-“that is the trouble, then, this morning, headache?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p>
-
-<p>“The headache is constant, back here, incessant. But this morning the
-trouble is,—a case of everything, as the doctor says.”</p>
-
-<p>“What does the doctor say? We must find some way of setting straight
-this case of everything.”</p>
-
-<p>“What they all say—nerves, rest, less work, less worry, fewer diocesan
-committees, fewer dinner parties—in Westbury where dining is a cult,
-and as venerable and as sacred as the church steeple! I might as well
-toss over one as the other! Suppose I did turn heretic, and refuse
-Mrs. Hollister’s invitation for Thursday! Could I preach beneath her
-withering glances next Sunday?</p>
-
-<p>“Or suppose I gave up my bridge with my Senior Warden. The Church needs
-more card-playing clergy, he says quite frankly. And I’m inclined to
-think, Bishop, that it does. A little more humoring of men of our good
-warden’s type, and perhaps <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Judd’s experiences would be less often
-repeated. Doctors and dinners be what they will—” mockery and worry
-both played about the heavy flexible lips, “I have the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span> unfortunate
-close of that rectorate ever before me.”</p>
-
-<p>“You forget!” said the Bishop’s voice, low and keen. There was a tiny
-fleck of red upon his cheek bones. <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Judd’s forced resignation had
-been a matter of disagreement between the congregation of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s
-and the Bishop. There was perhaps no connection between the action
-of the vestry and the fact that <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Newbold, immediately called to
-the parish, had been for years a friend of the Senior Warden, and a
-prominent co-worker with him in diocesan affairs; the wires of diocesan
-politics sometimes presented a strange network for feet like the
-Bishop’s.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop was silent a moment, for the Rector’s hand, lying square
-upon the cushion, had recalled to him the days when he had sometimes
-involuntarily closed his eyes against the sight of his young
-secretary’s finger nails. It was an exquisitely kept hand nowadays, yet
-one that looked unhealthily inactive rather than sleek.</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” mused the Bishop, at last, “if one can’t cut out any of these
-social obligations, how about the committees?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p>
-
-<p>Pity for the quick start and the flush of hurt pride, made him add
-instantly, “Not that the committees can spare <em>you</em>. The church
-needs you, and we should only be sparing you for a little while to save
-you for bigger service afterwards.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should regret,” replied <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Newbold firmly, while glancing down in
-some embarrassment, “withdrawing from any service to the diocese,—just
-now.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why just now?”</p>
-
-<p>The Rector lifted his lids for a quick glance, then dropped his eyes
-again to his uneasy foot, “The affairs of the diocese, as well as those
-of the church at large, are passing through a critical period.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sufficient to justify the loss of your health?”</p>
-
-<p>“I feel that the diocese needs me, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p>“It needs us all.”</p>
-
-<p>“Particularly now,” repeated the Rector.</p>
-
-<p>A curious subtlety crossed the cameo clearness of the Bishop’s face,
-“But do you not feel that perhaps the need for your activity might be
-even greater later on?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You mean—,” Newbold faltered, for simple folk like the Bishop were
-hard to fathom sometimes, even after twenty years of study.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s smile showed, disarming, “I mean simply, lad—if I may
-call you that sometimes, on Christmas, say,—that the diocese can’t
-afford to have you break down. It needs, and will need you, too much
-for that. Therefore,—let the diocese take care of itself a little
-while.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s been doing that too long,” the other broke forth, with the
-brutality of overwrought nerves.</p>
-
-<p>A shadow passed over the Bishop’s clear, gray face. Quick words caught
-with odd puckering upon his lips. He leaned his silver head against the
-high, dark chairback, long silent.</p>
-
-<p>“Is it really so bad as that, Newbold?” he asked at last. “What is it
-that is wrong?”</p>
-
-<p>“Our finances, for one thing. The treasurer’s last report—”</p>
-
-<p>“There must be finances, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p>The other smiled his cynical, twitching smile, “If there’s to be a
-church at all there must be finances.” He spoke with the irritation
-belonging to many a former discussion.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s inscrutable gaze rested long upon the Rector. “You are
-thinking, and rightly, that I am saved much because I have good
-laborers in the field to count the sheaves and the shekels? Believe me,
-Newbold, I know the value of your work to the diocese and I am sorry
-for the weariness of it.”</p>
-
-<p>The other’s face cleared in still uneasy relief. “I do not feel that
-I can withdraw from any office in the diocese, in the church, however
-small my service.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is not small. You are the most prominent man in the diocese. The
-most active. The most influential.”</p>
-
-<p>The other flushed with pleasure, yet regarded his guest enigmatically.
-“Those are cheering words, Bishop, for a day like this, of
-discouragement and—of pain.” His hand went to the throbbing disc at
-the back of his neck, as he added abruptly, “If what you say is true,
-Bishop, I am perhaps paying the price.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am afraid,” answered the Bishop gently, “that you are.”</p>
-
-<p>“One doesn’t expect the strings to snap at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span> forty-five!” Newbold said
-querulously. “I could have swung a sledge once! I could still! Yet—it
-makes me wonder—I have wondered lately—what is the secret of your
-vitality, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p>The flicker of a smile on the Bishop’s lips, “Yet I had thought,
-Newbold, that you did not think so highly of my vitality—that you
-thought it an ebbing flood, a year or two ago.”</p>
-
-<p>The other flushed to the brow.</p>
-
-<p>“It was for your own sake, Bishop, to save you the wear and tear of
-constant travel, constant work, that I urged upon the convention the
-election of a coadjutor.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you had done it not merely for my sake, but for the sake of the
-diocese and of the church.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was for that, too,” Newbold murmured.</p>
-
-<p>“It was at any rate not for my own sake that I refused to have an
-assistant,” the Bishop went on. “If I could have trusted the choice of
-my clergy! It is easy and natural, to choose the most popular, the most
-prominent. A bishop’s diocese is dearer than perhaps any one of his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span>
-clergy can understand. It is my little piece of God’s world, it is my
-Westbury in large.</p>
-
-<p>“And my ways are the old ways. My assistant’s might have been the new.”
-He paused a moment chin on hand, then looked up quickly, “What are the
-new ways?” he asked. “For I suppose my successor will introduce them.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold warmed instantly, moistening his twitching lips, “The ways
-first of all of economical administration. The church must show itself
-a good business if we want business men to respect it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do we?”</p>
-
-<p>“Do we <em>not</em>?” Nervous lightnings leaped to Newbold’s eyes. “These
-are not days of sentimental idealism, of faiths that float in air.
-To-day a man wants to see his money’s worth in the church as well as
-out of it. The church,” he brought a tense fist down upon the cushion,
-“has become a business proposition!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s face was intent on Newbold, yet inward and remote. Then
-the blue eyes smiled,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span> “Oh, but not in Westbury!” he pleaded. “We are
-not money-mad in Westbury!”</p>
-
-<p>“Because you have so much money! Have always had! Yet the purse-strings
-are the heart-strings in Westbury as elsewhere. Instance my vestry and
-the Southside Mission. Closed, three weeks ago. Westbury is wealthy but
-not wasteful. The mission was unsuccessful, therefore to be eliminated
-from the items of our expenditure. The need of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, economical
-organization, is merely an example of the needs of the diocese, and of
-the church at large.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think I was not, was I, officially told of the action of the church,
-in closing the mission?”</p>
-
-<p>The Rector stirred uneasily, then looked up with boyish directness, “I
-was remiss, Bishop, and I acknowledge it. But I knew the matter would
-need full explanation for you, and to be frank, I’ve postponed a good
-many things of late, simply because I felt paralysed before them. I’m
-all out of sorts, not myself at all. I can’t tell what’s the matter
-with me.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop, noting the sudden hysterical flabbiness<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span> of the whole face,
-recalled the man to firm thought.</p>
-
-<p>“The mission is permanently closed, then? That seems to me sad news for
-Christmas morning.”</p>
-
-<p>“Believe me, Bishop, I understand your feeling about it. I, too, regret
-the closing of the mission. I’ve positively enjoyed my work down there.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should think that you might have found the mission work almost
-restful after the other sort.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was restful. Strangely! They speak out down there, act out, too.
-The Southside caused me no night-long guessing, like my neighbors here.
-Yet I had no time for the mission, and lately no money either, for the
-work has become unpopular, quite naturally.”</p>
-
-<p>“Naturally?”</p>
-
-<p>“I mean the factories and the foreigners have obscured the native
-population for whom the mission was organized. Social conditions were
-different a few years ago. It was perfectly possible then for prominent
-members of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s to work at the mission and yet preserve all the
-decencies<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span> of class distinction. The church would hardly expect a man
-of my Senior Warden’s type to organize clubs and classes for his own
-factory hands!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet might not Christianity expect it?”</p>
-
-<p>“In these days, Bishop, I fear, Christianity and the church are two
-totally different propositions!”</p>
-
-<p>“You have not lost your power of frankness, Newbold!”</p>
-
-<p>A sudden shadow dropped over Newbold’s face. “Have I not?” he
-questioned himself darkly, then louder, “With you, Bishop, it is always
-curiously hard not to say what one thinks. Yet I don’t wish you to
-misunderstand me. I seem to want to be understood this morning. And
-you’re the only person in the universe, I believe, who’d take the
-trouble. It’s not, then, that I don’t myself believe the principles of
-the Christian religion.”</p>
-
-<p>A smile, infinitely sad and subtle, passed over the Bishop’s lips.
-“Since you are a minister of the Gospel,” he said gently, “one might
-hope that you believe it.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I have come to believe a good bit of it.”</p>
-
-<p>“To believe enough, lad?”</p>
-
-<p>The Christmas bells had begun again. The voices of the churchgoers
-sounded on the clear air, but the Christmas visitor sat unheeding.</p>
-
-<p>The Rector’s voice was rasped with the tension of self-defense.
-“Unfortunately for his health and happiness, a minister of the Gospel
-has much more to think about than what he believes. He has to think
-what his own congregation is going to allow him to say and to do; he
-has to think what the church at large is going to allow him to say and
-to do. He has to think of the success of his own parish, and of the
-church, and of himself. All three must please the public or fail. Now
-my policy—”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” the Bishop commented quietly, “your policy? A man of growing
-influence, like yours, would naturally have outlined for himself his
-creed and his conduct.”</p>
-
-<p>“My conduct, assuredly, yes. It has been my endeavor ever since I
-entered the priesthood, and will always be my aim, to establish respect
-for the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span> church, and its clergy, in the community, and in the world at
-large.”</p>
-
-<p>“And by what methods?”</p>
-
-<p>“The same that prevail in other organizations, sound business system,
-and the establishment of social dignity. We can’t expect our young men
-to be attracted to the ministry unless we can show them something in
-it worth getting,—they naturally want to get out of it reputation,
-success, social recognition, as in other professions.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have found those things yourself,” the Bishop’s tone was half
-comment, half question.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” answered Newbold, straightening, “I believe I can say that I
-have found those things. I started at least without them, as you must
-well remember—I was a raw enough youngster when I first came to you in
-Westbury—it is humorous to recall—” he laughed a sharp nervous laugh,
-then grew instantly grave, “I didn’t have much in those days, but I did
-have health.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” the Bishop answered, “you did have,” he paused oddly—“health!”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose, if the term had not been so much<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span> abused that I might
-truthfully call myself a self-made man. The church has done much for
-me. I am grateful,—with reservations! That is why I feel that in spite
-of these diabolic nerves of mine I must go on, must serve the church,
-the diocese, in its need.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet you feel,” asked the Bishop wistfully, “that you cannot serve the
-Southside Mission?”</p>
-
-<p>Sharp sagacity instantly controlled Newbold’s garrulous nerves, “That
-was a principle of simple common sense, such as might well be applied
-to other die-away mission chapels in many a parish.”</p>
-
-<p>Very low the other voice, and far away, “Yet the poor are to have the
-Gospel preached to them.”</p>
-
-<p>“The parent church is open to them,” Newbold answered almost with
-petulance, “here as elsewhere.”</p>
-
-<p>“You mean,” the tone was strange, “that it would be your policy to
-close other missions, in other churches, throughout the diocese?”</p>
-
-<p>“It would be my policy,” replied Newbold,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span> setting his heavy jaw, “to
-cut off all waste until we get our diocesan treasury out of debt. The
-church’s one foundation,” he added with that daring cynicism that
-delighted <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s in his sermons, “is at present sound finance.”</p>
-
-<p>It was a buffet across the Bishop’s face, making Newbold instantly
-protest, “It is not the mere money. It is the deep unpopularity of such
-missions as the Southside with such congregations as <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s. Am I
-to go against my vestry and retain my position? Am I to be a <abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Judd?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are afraid?”</p>
-
-<p>“Afraid! Impossible! For a man of my make-up,” he smiled in honest
-amusement, wetting his lips, “I merely have the sense not to become
-voluntarily unpopular. What can a man do in the face of unpopularity?
-His hands are tied. He is helpless.”</p>
-
-<p>The room and the man before him sank like a picture curtained from the
-Bishop’s sight. With wide strange eyes he saw another picture. He was
-unconscious of his words, “<em>His</em> hands were<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span> tied, in the face of
-unpopularity! Yet He preached the Gospel to the poor,—and to the rich,
-to the poor rich!”</p>
-
-<p>There was a long uncomfortable silence, during which the Bishop rested
-his head against the chair-back, waxen eyelids closed. Newbold studied
-the silent, sculptured face so long that at last for pure uneasiness he
-faltered, “I own, Bishop, that I’m no idealist.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop opened far, clear eyes, “What are you?”</p>
-
-<p>There was a long pause, then still in that far, clear voice, speaking
-quite to himself the Bishop said, “Yet you will be—”</p>
-
-<p>The room, embrowned, closed against the Christmas sun, dusky with many
-books, held the two men, who faced each other as once in a lifetime men
-may.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop completed his own sentence, “You will be—my successor!”</p>
-
-<p>It was quite silent now, for the bells had ceased and the chat of
-church-goers. The chancel of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s was only a stone’s throw from
-the chair where the Bishop sat, yet it was far<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span> from him, the chancel
-with its peace. But he could still get to church, although late, in
-time for the communion. One more Christmas sacrament was before him, if
-only he could hold his brain clear and his body taut, through one short
-hour more, against the sudden blurring pain in his head.</p>
-
-<p>The silence of the study still quivered with the Bishop’s last words,
-“My successor!”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold sat facing the fact never before so clearly stated by anyone,
-not even by himself, but clear to him now as the goal of his clumsy,
-forceful youth, of his anxious, successful ministry, a goal almost
-near enough now to touch, perhaps. He could not take his eyes from
-the Bishop’s face, transparent as porcelain, now turned into a mask,
-impenetrable.</p>
-
-<p>“I would not be your choice, Bishop?”</p>
-
-<p>The straight line of the Bishop’s lips formed a quiet, “No!”</p>
-
-<p>“And likely enough, I may be nobody else’s choice either—in spite
-of—services rendered!” Then querulous before that intent, gray face
-that gave no sign, “It’s small odds what happens,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span> with this head of
-mine! Yet I have served and would gladly serve—”</p>
-
-<p>“God?” the Bishop lifted level eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Newbold’s thick lips formed for a quick reply, worked oddly, then were
-oddly dumb a moment before they twisted into a cynic curve from the
-large teeth. “Harry spoke to me with some frankness this morning. He
-had just left me when you came, Bishop, a different visitor, it seemed
-to me. A curious Christmas, verily, if you, too, like all the rest,
-think strange things of me!”</p>
-
-<p>“Strange things! Are they not true?”</p>
-
-<p>A rush of anger had swept the color to the Bishop’s cheeks and shot
-lightnings to his eyes. The years had fallen from his face like a
-veil snatched aside. Yet with a torrent of words upon his tongue, the
-Bishop, looking at Newbold, turned silent. There are some men to whom
-the sight of one who cringes before a blow deserved is humiliating
-to their own inmost manhood. The sight of Newbold seated there, from
-his bowed, brute head, with its too-blue, watching eyes, to his big
-foot that never ceased to tap the rug raspingly, had caused the
-Bishop a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span> recoil for which he hated himself. Yet his anger was just,
-just! The Christ Himself had cried out against the hypocrite, against
-commercialism in spiritual places. The Bishop, of fine frail fiber as
-he was himself, remembered the charm for him of the youthful Newbold’s
-provincial crudity and heartiness,—but now, the Bishop thought
-bitterly, if one wished to make a minister of the gospel, one had
-better take a gentleman to start with!</p>
-
-<p>He had trusted Newbold at the first, as he might have trusted a son;
-he had forced himself to trust him afterwards, until this very day.
-Yet the Bishop now acknowledged that he had known well enough whose
-influence was at work in the diocese against his own, why certain
-motions he had desired were tabled in the convention, or if passed,
-only half-heartedly carried out. How hard the Bishop had fought not to
-be aware of a growing evil undercurrent in the spirit of diocesan work!
-He was far too sensitive not to have felt, as he talked with some of
-his prominent clergy and laity, his own great simple enthusiasm fall
-like a baffled flood against a politely<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span> concealed embarrassment he
-refused to understand! But he had understood! He knew now that he had.</p>
-
-<p>Oh, there were powers of evil militant against the faith, the work, to
-which he had given his life! He had tried not to see them, to believe
-each man good, especially this man. Yet in this moment it seemed to
-him that this Newbold, seated there, was the very cause of it all, of
-this dark Judas spirit that everywhere throughout the diocese mocked
-the loveliness of Christ within His very church! Again denunciation
-trembled like a lash, then again was restrained because of a certain
-dignity in the soul gazing so grimly from the bright-blue eyes, testing
-the Bishop. It was a face the Bishop had loved and it was haggard as a
-face in a fever picture.</p>
-
-<p>With all the power of vision innate in him the Bishop saw the facts of
-his failure. This was the man with whom, more than with any other, he
-had sought to share his service and his soul. They wore both of them
-the badge of God’s ministry, they were both of them the stewards of
-Christ’s mysteries; they sat now, after twenty<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span> years of friendship,
-two men girt in by four brief walls, yet far apart as two who do not
-speak each other’s tongue.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s brow grew tense at the hard thought that it must have
-been all his own fault! He had walked, as he had thought, beside the
-Christ, the Friend, yet a man close to him as Newbold had perceived in
-the Bishop himself no reflection of that Beauty! Oh, it could not be!
-Newbold must understand! For the very loneliness of it, the Bishop’s
-face grew all wistfulness, as if a child, lost on a city street, should
-lift its face to a stranger, hungry for kinship. But for all his
-seeking the Bishop could not find the lad Newbold in the face before
-him, grown steel-tense with scrutiny.</p>
-
-<p>There was worse than this, too, as the Bishop looked, clear-eyed, on
-his failure. He must one day leave to this man his Westbury, if not, as
-chance and choice might direct, his diocese. It had been the Bishop’s
-comfort to believe, sensitive as he had been to the great currents
-of unrest and indifference in the world at large, that Westbury
-had remained exquisitely old-fashioned.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span> Yet it was by the will of
-the congregation of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s that the Southside Mission had been
-closed, the mission the Bishop had seen their fathers found, with free
-outpouring of themselves and their purses. Had the Westbury of to-day
-grown Judas-jealous of squandering both self and money? The Bishop must
-one day go forth from Westbury leaving it—nothing! And whose could be
-the fault but his own?</p>
-
-<p>And his failure with Newbold, his failure with Westbury, they were
-but typical of the failure of his work at large. Of all the gifts of
-mystery that God gives to man, surely the greatest is the mystery of
-failure! Wisdom inscrutable that commands work, yet enjoins failure!
-Mystery of mysteries, that a burning love for that Love Incarnate born
-at Bethlehem, could not break through the flesh to solace a world
-a-thirst! The Bishop had loved, yet he had failed to serve. He did not
-even know how to give peace, as from a chalice, to this harried soul
-before him.</p>
-
-<p>The worn gray face, intent, gave small clue to the thoughts within.
-Always Newbold<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span> watched, watched, waiting for a word. Which way would
-it swing, that word? His soul also was poised, waiting.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop bowed his head upon his hand. He had never felt so utterly
-alone. Involuntarily, from sheer force of habit belonging to all his
-moments of unbearable solitude, the Bishop’s thought turned to the
-Friend. He had always understood, would He understand now, despair at
-failure to God’s trust?</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly the Bishop’s eyes opened wide and strange. He saw a
-storm-scourged hill, a mob. Understand failure? What man had ever
-loved like the Nazarene? What man had ever failed in such transcendent
-loneliness?</p>
-
-<p>The room fell quiet as a sanctuary. Awed with understanding, the Bishop
-closed his eyes, to be alone. His thought said, “All other things He
-has shared with me. He shares also this.”</p>
-
-<p>Quiet, long quiet, that at last grew a-throb with pulses. So many the
-mountains of Transfiguration, and at the bottom always the tumult and
-the faithlessness. The mental habit of many years steadied the Bishop
-as he drew slowly back<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span> to the actual: when some sorrow of his own grew
-too poignant to be borne, he always forced himself to go forth to the
-person nearest at hand, compelling his mind to the other’s affairs.
-Such effort, although at first it might be so perfunctory that he was
-ashamed, ended in full sincerity. Too tired to speak now, he smiled
-over to Newbold his old sunny smile, meaning that all was well between
-them.</p>
-
-<p>The tension of Newbold’s watching snapped like a spent cord. There was
-a change upon his face, a change in his voice, “Bishop, why did you
-come to me this morning? They must have told you downstairs that I did
-not wish to see anyone. Yet you came.”</p>
-
-<p>“I had a gift to bring.”</p>
-
-<p>“For me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not now, I am afraid. Still I have no one else, lad, to leave it with.
-It is for Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“What gift?”</p>
-
-<p>“One I have been thinking of for a long time. You see Christmas always
-sets me dreaming, and in these last weeks I’ve been much shut in, so
-that I’ve had a good deal of time to look out of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span> my window and to
-send my thoughts up and down the streets. I suppose it is because I
-have been about so little of late that I failed to hear of the closing
-of the mission, although I knew you were worried about the funds. So
-I’ve been happy with my plan. You’ve listened to my dreams before,”
-the Bishop smiled his little quick, appealing smile, “even though you
-haven’t always—” he broke off, a wistful twinkle of remembrance in
-his eyes. “I’m still an incorrigible visionary, you think, lad?” The
-twinkle died. “Perhaps I am!”</p>
-
-<p>“No!” cried Newbold, “No! I—I would have helped to carry out all
-your dreams, Bishop, if I could, if they’d been practical. Why,
-Bishop,” Newbold smiled the first real smile of the morning, “you’re
-irresistible as my Lois when you want things. Even Mrs. Hollister has
-to do what you want!”</p>
-
-<p>“Even Mrs. Hollister!” repeated the Bishop wonderingly. “But, of
-course, for she is my friend.”</p>
-
-<p>“You understand Mrs. Hollister better than I do, Bishop,” Newbold
-murmured darkly, then<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span> could have bitten his lip, for he saw on the
-Bishop’s face the fine, controlled recoil that told Newbold he had once
-again said something no real Westburian would have said. Clumsy again,
-when he was watching himself all the time! Oh, if there was one thing
-Newbold envied the Bishop, it was his inalienable social grace!</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s smile was strangely wrought of sun and sadness. “To go
-back to my dream,” he suggested, “so far from being prepared for the
-closing of the mission, I had actually been planning its enlargement.”
-He grew a little hesitant and shy, “You see I have a small private
-fortune, not very much, some sixty thousand. I have, as you know, no
-near relatives. I’m not much of a business man, as you are well aware,
-and I have also perhaps a foolish reluctance to leaving anything in
-the shape of a memorial, anything bearing my name,—yet it was here
-in Westbury, in <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, and at the founding of the mission in the
-Southside sixty years ago, that there first came to me—the meaning of
-the Christian ministry.” A moment his eyes grew<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span> dream-bright, as he
-continued, “I’m so in the habit of trusting all money matters to you
-that I have simply had my will made out to you, without any stipulation
-as to the object—”</p>
-
-<p>“To me?”</p>
-
-<p>“In trust,” said the Bishop, “for Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“To me!”</p>
-
-<p>“I <em>must</em> trust you, lad!”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold’s eyes, round with amazement, dropped before the pure flame of
-the Bishop’s.</p>
-
-<p>“I had thought,” the clear voice went on, “that you would be glad to
-have the management of this money for Westbury, because it was here in
-Westbury, and in <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, and in work for the Southside, that you,
-too, twenty years ago, came to your first thoughts of the Christian
-ministry.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” muttered Newbold, “twenty years ago!” His foot ceased to tap
-the floor. He sat straight, motionless, “What, Bishop, was your idea,
-exactly, for the use of this sixty thousand?”</p>
-
-<p>“My idea—I—I suppose it’s impractical now—was what I called it in my
-mind, the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span> House of Friendship. Not, of course, that I want it called
-that in reality. That’s, of course,” he said in quick deprecation,
-“sentimental in sound, but that’s what I mean.”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly what?” probed Newbold.</p>
-
-<p>“You know,” the other appealed whimsically, “I left all the details
-to you even in my plans. I thought I’d just explain the spirit of it.
-A House of Friendship, that is a settlement house, in connection with
-the chapel in the Southside, a house open to everybody, to the mothers
-and fathers and the babies and the little girls and the newsboys, and
-open—still more open—to the members of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s over here, on River
-Street, so that the mission and the church might learn, from each
-other, to be friends. I haven’t gone into the details, although I want
-to, one of these days, when my head gets a little clearer. The main
-thing was that you should understand.”</p>
-
-<p>“And I am to understand that your will is made out to me, with no
-instructions as to the use of the money?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Does anyone know of your desire for the settlement house?”</p>
-
-<p>“No one. You were the only one who needed to know.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold looked straight at his visitor. “Has it occurred to you,
-Bishop, that you are taking a great risk?”</p>
-
-<p>“What do you mean, lad?” asked the Bishop wonderingly.</p>
-
-<p>Newbold laughed, a laugh that rang true with honest amusement. “Well,
-hardly, as we both know, that I should make way with the money for my
-own ends, or that one cent of it shall be spent except for the object
-of your desire, but,—” his face grew grave and dark, “you imply, I
-think, something more. It is not merely the money that you leave in my
-charge, Bishop, but the work itself?”</p>
-
-<p>“I had always hoped, lad, to leave my work in your charge. In spirit,
-if not in actuality.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you hope so this morning?”</p>
-
-<p>“May I hope so, Murray?” Once before, on the night of his ordination,
-the Bishop had called Newbold by his first name.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span></p>
-
-<p>Newbold’s answer was as direct to the soul as the Bishop’s question, “I
-don’t know!” Then sharp and querulous, “How could I? How can I?”</p>
-
-<p>The kindled hope on the Bishop’s face died like a quenched flame. In
-its stead slowly there grew in his eyes their great and brooding pity.
-“Lad, you’re tired to the depths this morning, and I am fretting you
-with the thought of new responsibilities. Forgive me. I hope that in
-eighty-one years I’ve learned to listen. Suppose you do the talking
-now. What are some of the bothers back of this headache?”</p>
-
-<p>“My head is the chief bother, back of all bothers! It won’t let me go
-on and I can’t stop!” Newbold sprang up and then reseated himself at
-his desk, sweeping a fret of papers aside so that some fell on the
-floor, then taking up a flexible paper cutter that he kept snapping in
-his hands while he swung the revolving chair slowly from side to side.
-“The truth is, I’ve been going down hill ever since I came here eight
-years ago. The air of Westbury is knocking me to pieces.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Yet it agreed with you during your other stay here, twenty odd years
-ago.”</p>
-
-<p>“I was a boy then; I had a different body.”</p>
-
-<p>“And perhaps,” mused the Bishop, “a different soul.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, that!” cried Newbold with a shrug, then, “Do you suppose if I’d
-had my health, I’d ever have let the vestry bully me into giving up the
-Southside Mission!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet I used to think sometimes that opposition was the breath of life
-to you. I wonder,” a flicker of whimsical humor in the blue eyes, “if
-perhaps it would still be the breath of life to you,—if you tried it!”</p>
-
-<p>“Can I fight a spirit in the air? Can I fight, of all things, mere
-amusement at enthusiasm? Can I fight the impenetrable self-satisfaction
-of Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet I thought you were one who loved Westbury!”</p>
-
-<p>“I love it, yes! And I hate it!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet Westbury has loved you and taken you in, as it once took me, also
-a stranger.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p>
-
-<p>“It has never taken me in! Has Mrs. Hollister ever taken me in?”</p>
-
-<p>“Newbold, may I ask,” the Bishop sought to be patient with a resentful
-child, “whether Mrs. Hollister has ever shown you the slightest
-incivility?”</p>
-
-<p>“Never!” Newbold pressed his lips together in a curious grim smile. He
-studied the paper-knife in his hands intently, “Oh, no, I should not
-find fault with Westbury. It has given me what I wanted when I came
-here as a boy, to be rector of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s. I did not perceive then the
-price a man pays to be rector of—a <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s.”</p>
-
-<p>“What price?”</p>
-
-<p>“The price of his freedom! There’s no way to please the congregation
-of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s, except to <em>please</em> them! I’ve learned the trick of
-that! Ah, commend me to the clergy as latter-day courtiers!” It was
-sentences such as these, applied in the chancel to his congregation,
-not to himself, that his people so enjoyed in his sermons, feeling him
-at one with them in a comfortable, workaday cynicism. Newbold’s words
-were<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span> pressed through closed teeth as he concluded, “But I despise my
-people!”</p>
-
-<p>“Your people of the Southside, too?”</p>
-
-<p>“They! Oh, no! Poor wretches! They are honest! I understand them! But
-it is the strain of trying to understand <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s that is killing
-me!” his hand went impatiently to his head.</p>
-
-<p>Serene and low the Bishop’s words, “Then why not go to your people of
-the Southside?”</p>
-
-<p>“And <em>leave <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s</em>?”</p>
-
-<p>“If you do not understand the people of <abbr title="saint">St.</abbr> John’s. If it is killing
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“They would think me a madman!”</p>
-
-<p>“Does it matter, what they think?”</p>
-
-<p>“It has mattered,” Newbold replied grimly, “a good bit, for eight
-years!”</p>
-
-<p>“And where has that road brought us, lad?”</p>
-
-<p>Silence.</p>
-
-<p>Low, incisive against the stillness, the Bishop’s voice, “Verily you
-have <em>had</em> your reward.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold’s hands dropped to the desk motionless.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Yet even so, amid the praise of men, there was one man whose praise
-you never had.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold lifted his eyes in interrogation.</p>
-
-<p>“Yourself!” the Bishop concluded.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly Newbold’s face, set as marble, puckered unbearably. “There’s
-someone else, too!” Forcing the words out, he quoted, “‘I don’t care if
-you are a minister. I’m your son, and I know you’re a hypocrite!’ How’s
-that,” he was furious at the catch in his throat, “how’s that—for a
-speech—from an only son—on Christmas morning!”</p>
-
-<p>“It is not true, Murray!”</p>
-
-<p>“You are perhaps the only man who believes in me, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is because I have known you longest.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am afraid the truth is that your namesake, my son, has the sharper
-eyes, as well as the sharper tongue. A son’s estimate of his father
-is doubtless the correct one. Yet it’s an ugly word—hypocrite! I
-confess it drew blood, and knocked me out for the day.” He looked oddly
-sheepish, boyish, in his confession, in spite of all the signs of
-torturing nerves upon a body too vigorous<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span> to take ill-health with any
-poise or patience. “You see I got up this morning feeling rather out
-of sorts. I hadn’t slept since twelve. I’ve been dreading the services
-more and more lately. I’m haunted by the idea of collapsing suddenly
-before the eyes of my congregation—those eyes!</p>
-
-<p>“Then breakfast was late. If only, only, only,” his heavy fist came
-down lightly but tensely upon the blotter, “the women would not look as
-if they expected a scene under such circumstances. I had meant to hold
-my tongue. But I didn’t. Nobody said anything, so I fancy I continued
-to fill in the pauses. Harry sat with a face that made me want to knock
-him down. It was afterwards that he spoke, a full hour afterwards, when
-I had managed to pull myself together and was on my way to church. He
-stopped me in the hall with ‘Going to the communion, father? After
-making mother and Lois feel like that?’ Then he added that little
-remark about hypocrisy, I came back upstairs, here. Presently you came.
-A highly successful Christmas! A merry family group, do you not think
-so, Bishop?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop had closed his eyes. This was the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span> kind of thing that hurt
-his head, and he must keep his head clear, must! “Christmas is not half
-over,” he said, starting at the thought of the morning slipping by, and
-the church, so near, calling to him, “There is half of Christmas left!”</p>
-
-<p>“Half a day in which to teach my son to respect me!”</p>
-
-<p>“But this son is Harry. So it will not take so long.”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry is hard!”</p>
-
-<p>“He is generous!”</p>
-
-<p>“He never forgives!”</p>
-
-<p>“Have you ever asked him to forgive?”</p>
-
-<p>“My boy! No! I know him! He knows me!”</p>
-
-<p>“I think perhaps,” the Bishop said slowly, “you will never know Harry,
-nor he you, until you have asked of him forgiveness. It’s one of the
-test things, forgiveness. The boy will meet it. He has nobility, Harry,
-by inheritance.”</p>
-
-<p>“From his mother, yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“From his father, no less.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span></p>
-
-<p>“They are their mother’s children, both of them,” Newbold murmured
-wearily.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s face flashed radiant. His right hand lifted in a quick
-gesture. “Can any man say anything more beautiful than that?”</p>
-
-<p>“You mean,” stammered Newbold, “what?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think I only meant,” hesitated the Bishop, “that I felt just that
-way about my child, and her mother. They belonged to each other, not to
-me. I was only fit to try to take care of them.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have not taken,” said Newbold heavily, “much care of mine!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, lad, lad,” said the Bishop, “don’t waste that privilege. It
-never—it never has grown easy—for me to live without it.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold’s words came in a whisper, to himself, “She does not expect it
-now. Perhaps she does not even wish it!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop leaned slightly forward in his chair. “Newbold,” he said
-firmly, “between you and Harry there must be words, as between men.
-But, for Lois and the mother, downstairs, have you anything to do but
-to stretch out your hand?<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span> It is one of their mysteries, that women
-always understand better without words.”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold dropped his forehead on interlaced fingers that concealed
-his face. He was long silent. His hands dropped at last from a face
-haggard, but a-shine with boyishness.</p>
-
-<p>“Bishop,” he said, “you’ve made me feel a whole lot better!”</p>
-
-<p>“I am glad!” For the first time in their talk the Bishop’s lip showed
-its slight palsied trembling.</p>
-
-<p>“You always did make me feel better. It is your secret.” Then a shadow
-fell, “But how? Why?” the shadow darkened. “I don’t deserve it!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop studied the darkened face with a sad keenness. “You have not
-told me all the worries this morning, have you? What else?”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold stirred uneasily, then brightened a little with reminiscence,
-“Odd, how little things take one back sometimes. The mere way we are
-sitting at this moment,—you, Bishop, in that deep chair with your
-hands on the arms, and I here at the desk,—it makes me feel as if you
-might<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span> take up the dictating and I my shorthand at any instant.”</p>
-
-<p>“It does not seem to me so very long ago.”</p>
-
-<p>“It strikes me now, that you were pretty patient. I was a raw enough
-youth when I first came to Westbury.”</p>
-
-<p>“A bit truculent in argument sometimes,” admitted the other, smiling.
-“You bowled over some of our best doctors in theology. There wasn’t
-much you were afraid of.”</p>
-
-<p>“On the contrary, I was afraid of everything. It was the first time I
-had ever been afraid, too. Westbury frightened me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet I knew then that you would live to make Westbury proud of you. I
-believe I never had such hopes for any young man as I had for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“And now?”</p>
-
-<p>“And now?” The Bishop turned the question back upon the man.</p>
-
-<p>“And now,” said Newbold bitterly, “where are the hopes?”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly where they were before. Don’t you know, lad, that we old men
-are incorrigible in hopes?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I know that you are, Bishop, incorrigible in hope,—and in patience.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s eyes narrowed to fine scrutiny, “Have I then, do you feel,
-something to be patient about?”</p>
-
-<p>Newbold shot a sharp glance, searching the Bishop’s meaning. They both
-waited. At last Newbold, leaning back in his chair lifted steady eyes.
-“Since we’re talking this morning, Bishop, about the things on my mind,
-there are, as you seem to guess, more things. I’d be glad to get them
-all clear with you this morning. It’s a relief to talk, no matter where
-we come out. I’m afraid, that perhaps you haven’t always understood,
-Bishop, my apparent opposition to your wishes on some occasions that
-perhaps we both remember.”</p>
-
-<p>“We both remember, yes!”</p>
-
-<p>At the tone Newbold started, grew more vehement, “Oh, if you could
-but understand, Bishop! Why, sometimes, as I have stood between your
-desires on the one hand and what I knew to be those of the majority of
-the clergy and laity on<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span> the other, what I knew to be necessary to the
-prosperity of the diocese and the church, I have verily felt myself
-between two fires.”</p>
-
-<p>“Or between two masters?”</p>
-
-<p>Nervous irritation fretted Newbold’s forehead. “Yes, I suppose, that,
-too, in a way, from your point of view, Bishop. The point of view
-of—well—of the apostles, perhaps!” He hesitated, but then grew
-defensive, “In practical application, Bishop, it is impossible that the
-policies of primitive Christianity should prevail in their pristine
-simplicity in the church to-day!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop was long silent, the white profile of his far-away face
-clear before Newbold’s watching eyes. Newbold spoke at last in anxious
-apology. “You understand, therefore, I hope, Bishop, my policy, as I
-understand yours? I wanted you to understand.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you want me to understand?”</p>
-
-<p>There was something very strange in those far, far blue eyes, so old,
-so ageless. Newbold gazed into them, curiously compelled. “Perhaps you
-know best the answer to that, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p>
-
-<p>A wistful smile touched the Bishop’s lips, “Perhaps I do, lad. For it
-has been a long while that we have been friends.”</p>
-
-<p>“You know, Bishop, surely,” the man cried out, “how I feel toward
-you,—in spite of—mere policies?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop nodded slightly, “Yes, yes,” then looked at the other with a
-larger thought. “But, Newbold, I have no policy, I have found only one
-reading to the riddle of life, and I preach it. There is no policy in
-that, I think, is there?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think,” said Newbold, quietly, “that you are the only man I have
-ever seen solve that riddle.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have not solved it, Murray, if I have not given you the clew.”</p>
-
-<p>At that unbearable sadness Murray Newbold cried out, “No, Bishop, no!
-If I have failed, it is not your failure! Faith such as yours, life
-such as yours,—it is impossible to men like me. It is not for us.”</p>
-
-<p>“I always thought it was for all.” There was a long pause. “And it is.
-I have not known how to show you, that is all.” The Bishop bowed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span> his
-head in silence, murmuring, “But I wanted you,” again a long pause, “as
-you would want peace for your boy!”</p>
-
-<p>The next words were not to Newbold, but Newbold knew to Whom they
-were spoken, “Yet I ask so much! We can never share with Him, we who
-ask fulfillment!” Then the Bishop started sharply from revery, “The
-service! I must go. It is too late, perhaps, already for the communion.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is just time. But, Bishop, will you go? There is so much still
-to say. Stay a little while!”</p>
-
-<p>“What I have failed to say in twenty years, can I say now? In a little
-while?”</p>
-
-<p>“Say it!” pleaded Newbold, “say it!”</p>
-
-<p>Like a physical need, like hunger, the Bishop felt the blind desire to
-feel the chancel quiet about him, to offer once more to his people the
-cup of Christ. Yet before him here and now, in this silent room, a soul
-a-thirst.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it, lad, that you want from me?”</p>
-
-<p>“You believe it, Bishop?” Newbold burst forth.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span></p>
-
-<p>“What?”</p>
-
-<p>“What we preach. I never knew any man to believe it as you do. How?”</p>
-
-<p>“How otherwise?”</p>
-
-<p>“I never knew any other man who had found peace. <em>How?</em>”</p>
-
-<p>“It is hard,” hesitated the Bishop, “for me to talk about these
-things—with you. It is hard for me to understand,” his tired eyes
-widened with the effort to understand. “You mean with the Story ever
-before you, that yet you cannot see—Him?”</p>
-
-<p>“I see nothing. I’ve come to a pretty dark place in my career,
-successful, I suppose it would be called.”</p>
-
-<p>“Since I’ve come to be old, I find I don’t always call things by their
-right names. Success and failure, I don’t always know how to name them.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you have success!”</p>
-
-<p>“No—no, you have showed me clearly to-day that I have failure.”</p>
-
-<p>“<em>I</em> have shown you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you remember that I came here with a hope?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Which I have destroyed? But, Bishop, the work you describe is
-impossible to me. You know, no one better, what I am. The amazing
-thing is that knowing, you still chose me. Why, such a work requires a
-courage, a conviction, a vision such as—”</p>
-
-<p>“You have not courage?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not, not courage of your sort, now.”</p>
-
-<p>“I believe it is courage of your sort, not my sort, that Westbury
-needs, now.”</p>
-
-<p>“It would mean a complete facing about. That would surprise,” he
-smiled grimly, “a few people! I don’t know that I should really mind
-surprising them.” Then his face again clouded. “The Southside would
-find me out, Bishop. I have not the vision. I don’t know that I
-thought it necessary, originally. It’s been, however, of late years,
-a bit persistent, the advantage, say, of believing what one says one
-believes.” The caustic tone changed to intensity, “If I were capable,
-Bishop, of your faith!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop studied him wistfully, “And yet,” he mused, “it seems to me
-so simple, faith, so unavoidable, like sunshine. No man could have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span>
-made the sun. Just so, it seems as if no man could have invented—that
-Beauty!”</p>
-
-<p>“Unfortunately most people don’t see things quite so readily. As for
-me, I believe I’m incapable of religious vision.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop hesitated, thoughtful, then quick words came, “But not
-incapable of action. I’ve always believed that there is need perhaps
-for soldiers as well as seers. There’s the fighter somewhere within
-you, isn’t there?”</p>
-
-<p>“I sometimes feel,” Newbold admitted, “as if there were as much fight
-left in me as there is in Harry to-day. One sees,” he mused, “some
-pretty queer things when one looks inside.” Then once more he caught up
-the paper cutter in restless fingers, “But that won’t last. I seem to
-see a thing or two while you’re here, seem to be more up to—several
-things. It will all come back fast enough when I’m alone. You’ll carry
-this quiet away with you, Bishop.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish I could leave it with you! Couldn’t I, somehow?”</p>
-
-<p>“You couldn’t, could you, put me back twenty<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span> years, and give me
-another try at it all? No, no, I don’t see the way to that!”</p>
-
-<p>“Do it! Don’t wait to see it! Vision!” the Bishop paused. “It is
-perhaps true that it is not given to all to see, to feel, to know. Yet
-those who do not see can act! Perhaps—perhaps—it is more beautiful
-and more brave to work without the vision! We are the stewards, we call
-ourselves that, you and I—God puts a cup into our hands. He doesn’t
-say, ‘Believe,’ or ‘See.’ He only says, ‘Give’!”</p>
-
-<p>“But it is as <em>you</em> give, Bishop!”</p>
-
-<p>Their eyes met long. Then the tense pause slackened. Murray Newbold
-knew best his feeling for the Bishop when he felt the child gazing from
-the faded eyes and speaking in his pleading voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Murray, will you build, then, the House of Friendship, for Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p>Silence. Newbold had bowed his forehead upon his interlaced fingers.
-His face was concealed except the strong jaw, and the lips, motionless,
-curiously refined by their tight pressure.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span> Moments went by. Within
-closed eyelids Newbold saw his future. He saw the past as if the issues
-between himself and the Bishop had been always mounting to this final
-issue. He saw himself, objective, detached as a painting. So taut were
-all his senses on this morning that it seemed to him that he should
-always see the Bishop’s face looking upon him just as he had closed his
-eyes against it, there across the desk. It was a moment of such intense
-seeing as makes promises impossible. The minutes went, one after one.
-He could not have spoken a word.</p>
-
-<p>A touch brushed Newbold’s shoulder, “I am going now, lad,” the Bishop
-said. Sudden and clamorous, the noon-day chimes, at the close of the
-service, rang out, as the study door closed.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_III">PART III</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>The air of the blue Christmas noon was sparkling clear, yet the
-Bishop’s steps were groping. His blue eyes were vague as he smiled in
-response to motor cars that flashed by, or carriages that passed with
-a brisk jingle of harness. Groups, lightly laughing in the Christmas
-sun, brushed by the old familiar figure in the cape overcoat, but they
-seemed strangers. In the sharp daylight after that dusky study, the
-Bishop trod an unknown street, as wistful and alone as a lost child.
-Was this his Westbury, where none of this gay Christmas throng gave
-thought to those swarming tenements at the bending of the river? An old
-man’s life, what was it, against this hard and happy current? A smile,
-briefly bitter, darkened the Bishop’s face; he was old and would pass,
-having given his Westbury nothing!</p>
-
-<p>Yet all the time his feet, making for reassurance<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span> and relief, were
-bearing him toward Lucy Hollister’s welcome, with the homing instinct
-of a child that knows one door its own. Across the Bishop’s weariness
-flashed the thought that in the afternoon Lucy would let him lie down
-for a while.</p>
-
-<p>Lucy’s door opened wide to the Bishop. He felt once again, as the
-closed latch shut him in from that vague and puzzling street, the spell
-of the wide hall that cleft the house, and of grave old walls showing
-at the opposite end a picture of the river through broad glass. The
-Bishop handed his coat and hat to the brown old footman, his friend of
-many years, then his head cleared happily at the sound of a soft rustle
-and the tapping of light decisive slippers. Lucy’s hand was in his.</p>
-
-<p>“Good Christmas, Henry,” she said crisply, and led him in to the
-drawing-room fire.</p>
-
-<p>“I was worried,” she went on. “You were not at church, nor at the house
-when I drove there afterward.”</p>
-
-<p>“The service?” he inquired anxiously.</p>
-
-<p>“It was not Christmas without your sermon.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span> Otherwise it was—well, a
-service. For we missed our rector, too!”</p>
-
-<p>“He is ill.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is he?” inquired Lucy with musing emphasis. “And of what sickness? Too
-much Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p>But at the Bishop’s troubled glance her tone changed instantly, “But
-you yourself, Henry, have you been, are you, ill?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not now, not here. It is really Christmas here.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am glad,” she answered; then, with an unperceived catch of her
-breath, “if it is really Christmas—here!”</p>
-
-<p>“How many Christmas dinners is it, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>“I do not count them,” to herself she added, looking at him, “those
-that are over!”</p>
-
-<p>They fell to talking of the Christmases that were over. The Bishop did
-not know that from time to time he leaned his head back, closing his
-lids, and was silent while minutes ticked slowly and Lucy watched him
-intently. It was comforting when he opened his eyes still to see her
-sitting there, so alert, so alive.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span></p>
-
-<p>“So many Christmases!” he murmured.</p>
-
-<p>“I neither own to them,” she answered, “nor yet, not own!”</p>
-
-<p>Despite her many Christmases, it was with only a slight stiffening of
-the sinuous grace of her girlhood that Lucy moved at the Bishop’s side,
-to the dining-room, to the mid-afternoon holiday dinner of Westbury
-habit. Lucy kept every custom Westbury had had in her youth, and she
-made other people keep such custom, too; slight, elusive, dominant,
-as she was, in her great house by Westbury’s river. They passed from
-stately course to course exactly as they had done on that Christmas
-when Henry Collinton and his wife had dined with Lucy when Annie was
-a bride, and still earlier, the Bishop could remember dining at that
-table, when he was a college lad and the two cousins, girls, Annie the
-dark one, and Lucy, elfin and amber-tinted. The room was the same, the
-china and the silver the same. Beyond the two long windows ran the gray
-loop of the river. Many a time long ago, they had floated all three
-in a boat on that spangled river. The wall paper was the same, put on
-by French hands many a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span> year ago. Round and round it raced a French
-sporting scene, trim-waisted gentlemen that rode to the hunt by wood
-and stream, and ladies that joined them for the huntsman’s repast, gay
-picnickers all, still vivid in color.</p>
-
-<p>It was all the same, for in Westbury things did continue blessedly
-unchanged. Lucy was unchanged, for all the long wearing of her widow’s
-black. The yellow still showed in the snowy gloss of her carefully
-arranged hair. Age had slightly rimmed her eyes with red, but the
-will-o’-the-wisp still danced in them. Her mouth, netted by wrinkles,
-was hardly more finely whimsical than in girlhood. As of old, when
-in earnest talk, she dropped her chin, still clearly chiseled, to a
-delicate white claw of a hand, flashing from a fall of black chiffon.
-Lucy treated age as she did people: like them, age could not tell
-whether it had penetrated her delicate aloofness.</p>
-
-<p>To the Bishop, room and river and woman were still the same. Spent
-to the uttermost as he knew himself to be to-day, Lucy’s indomitable
-vitality quickened him with sharp hope; perhaps, after all, there was
-much he could still leave to Lucy!<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span> But not yet for him the outpouring,
-as ever, into Lucy’s ear. That would come, but not yet! How happy,
-now, shut in by that race round and round the walls of those merry
-picnickers, to pluck, as it were a Christmas gift from a tree, one hour
-in which they should still be boy and girl together.</p>
-
-<p>As they talked, two faces looked over their shoulders; over the
-Bishop’s a boy’s with brown hair flung back, with eager listening
-eyes, and a mouth that spoke poetry and as instantly laughed out in
-merry mockery of it, a face that, clear as water, was all the play of
-a mobile brain; and close by Lucy’s head, another in a white bonnet,
-green-ribboned and green-leaved, from which, framed in red-gold curls,
-looked out a tinted cameo face, with green-blue eyes, mocking and
-mysterious. To-day, Lucy’s body was still fragile and unbroken, as in
-girlhood, and for all she had married and borne four children, her
-soul still went unfettered as when she was a girl. But age had charred
-the Bishop’s face to fine white ashes, in which the blue eyes burned,
-luminous and inward.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Henry,” mused Lucy, “the poetry never came back to you, did it? Do you
-ever write nowadays, ever snare a little wild, singing poem now?”</p>
-
-<p>“The verses come to me sometimes still, but not near enough to catch,
-or to <em>wish</em> to catch, perhaps. I do sometimes see the pictures
-still, this very morning, for instance, and I hear rhythms; but, no, I
-have never written since—since Nan went.”</p>
-
-<p>He was silent a moment, lips tightening, then lights began to gleam on
-his face, with the familiar pleasure of thinking aloud to Lucy. “But
-perhaps I do not write because I can no longer distinguish between
-poetry and prose, in life. That is boy’s work, really, to see the
-sharp outlines of things that afterwards, for us, seem to overlap, to
-interweave. Poetry and prose, which is which? Just so the distinction
-between the sacred and the secular, easy enough at twenty, not at
-eighty: then the two were clear to me as bars of sun and shadow on a
-pavement; now the sun-bars would seem all softened with shadow, and the
-shadow all shot through with sun. Just so the distinction between the
-divine<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span> and the human, God and man, where shall one separate the two?
-Can anyone say. Just so far,—” here the Bishop, all eager explanation,
-drew the figure of a cross upon the leather armchair, keeping an ivory
-finger tip upon the spot, “just so far shall God stoop to man, just so
-far man rise to God! Oh! no, no!” He erased the imaginary cross with
-a quick brushing of his long hand, “life is not like that, not sharp
-distinctions, it is all interwoven, interwoven!</p>
-
-<p>“So with poetry and prose. How can I possibly write,” he laughed, “if
-I can’t tell them apart? Why, nowadays I seem to get meshed in my own
-metres. No, I’m no true poet,” he shook his head ruefully, “if I can’t
-tell whether a poem is inside of me or outside of me, whether I am
-it, or it is I! No, old age is the time for seeing, not for singing.”
-He paused, thinking, “But I verily believe I like the seeing better
-than the singing.” He looked over to her in the old, quick boyish way,
-“Don’t you?”</p>
-
-<p>Lucy gave her little humorous shrug, inimitably slight, “O Henry,
-forgive me, I believe old age for me is all plain prose.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p>
-
-<p>He laughed his silvery old laugh, in pure amusement, “And that from
-you, who know nothing whatever about old age!”</p>
-
-<p>“I! I know everything about old age!”</p>
-
-<p>“Prove it!” he rallied, “prove it! Prove that you know one thing more
-about old age to-day than you did when you were twenty!”</p>
-
-<p>Her face, still beautiful despite its subtlety of lines, grew strange,
-and her humorous lips delicately mocking, “No, I don’t believe I
-could—prove—that I know anything more about old age to-day—than I
-did when I was twenty!”</p>
-
-<p>“There,” he cried gaily, “you admit it?”</p>
-
-<p>“Admit what, my friend?”</p>
-
-<p>“That you are still a girl!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yet, a grandmother?”</p>
-
-<p>“One can never somehow remember that,” his gaze upon her changed to
-puzzled thought.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet I am a grandmother, a model mother and grandmother, I’d have you
-remember!”</p>
-
-<p>“It is very strange,” he mused, “mine, who are gone, seem almost nearer
-than yours, who are here. I sometimes have wondered why you never
-choose to go to them at Christmas-time.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span> Although it is a happy thing
-for me that you do not.”</p>
-
-<p>“I prefer my Christmas to myself!”</p>
-
-<p>“But isn’t it lonely?”</p>
-
-<p>“Lonely, when you have never failed me, Henry!” she laughed. “You know
-I’m a stickler for old customs. I can’t change old friends for new
-grandchildren.”</p>
-
-<p>“Grandchildren!” he shook his head. “No, it is impossible to believe
-in them! You seem to me still Lucy Dwight of the long ago,” a twinkle
-danced in his eyes, “and aren’t you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Who can answer that question but Henry Collinton, of the long ago? Who
-else remembers?”</p>
-
-<p>They both remembered, and fell silent, joining thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>At length the Bishop, shining-eyed, exclaimed, “Those were great days,
-when I came here to college!”</p>
-
-<p>“Great days, yes, when I—when we—taught you the town. You thought
-everything so wonderful that you almost made me believe Westbury
-wonderful, too.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p>
-
-<p>“And didn’t you, don’t you, believe it wonderful?”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him quietly, “But Westbury is my own,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p>“And isn’t it,” he pleaded, “my own, too, by this time?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yours?” she looked at him with far, intent eyes, then before his wide
-child-gaze, troubled, her smile flashed reassurance, “Yours, surely,
-Henry!” again she fell thoughtful, “yet it depends a little on what you
-mean!”</p>
-
-<p>“Westbury <em>has</em> been mine,” he maintained, and then, not
-confident, “and Westbury has not changed, has it, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>She was silent.</p>
-
-<p>“It has not changed, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, no, Henry,” she comforted him, “How? Where? Look about and
-see!”</p>
-
-<p>“Once it sent more men forth into the church than any other place in
-all the country. Will it, do you believe, continue to do that?”</p>
-
-<p>“Westbury is still churchly! Look at us! Westbury still goes to church.
-I myself set the example.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Westbury always has followed your example,” the Bishop answered; again
-he felt a start of hope, but still postponed in this pleasant lighter
-hour the full revelation of his morning’s anxiety.</p>
-
-<p>“Westbury will always follow my example, Henry, just so long as I
-give it its head. It is a triumph, is it not,” her lips puckered
-whimsically, “for an old lady to lead a town by a string? If I cared
-for the triumph! Not to let Westbury get away from me, that has been
-at least an absorbing pastime. I have spent my life trying to keep
-Westbury the Westbury of my youth!” Quizzical, darting gleams showed in
-her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“There was no more beautiful way to spend your life,” the Bishop
-answered.</p>
-
-<p>Lucy’s face changed, old age dropped over it like a veil, from which
-her eyes looked forth, strange.</p>
-
-<p>“I, too,” the Bishop answered, “have wished to spend my life in keeping
-Westbury the Westbury of my youth. It seemed so beautiful to me! People
-were already beginning to be in a hurry in other places, but they still
-had time to be kind,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span> here. They were already locking themselves into
-classes in other places, but they still had time to be friends, rich
-with poor, rich with rich, here. You remember the mission, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>She started, glancing at him with quick, culprit look, which he, lost
-in dreams, did not observe, continuing, “Westbury was a place of
-beautiful friendship, a place to make a young man dream dreams.”</p>
-
-<p>Very low she whispered, “Your dreams, Henry, not Westbury’s!”</p>
-
-<p>“It has not changed, has it, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>She did not answer at first, then a smile, elusive, sweet, brushed her
-lips and was gone, “No, Henry!”</p>
-
-<p>“For how could it,” he burst out joyously, “how could it, when you have
-not changed, and you are Westbury!”</p>
-
-<p>“I am Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes!” he answered, “yes!”</p>
-
-<p>“Have you always thought that, Henry?”</p>
-
-<p>“I believe so, yes.”</p>
-
-<p>But beneath his clear, smiling gaze, the witch lights gleamed in her
-eyes, “I wonder if you will<span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span> always think so, Henry!” But his words
-seemed to have made her inattentive, restless, so that it was at length
-almost abruptly that she rose. She turned an instant toward the picture
-framed by the window.</p>
-
-<p>“How you love this town, Henry!”</p>
-
-<p>“It is my piece of God’s world,” he answered with that simple reverence
-that could startle, then he stopped before turning away from the table,
-“May I?” he asked permission, as he picked up a sprig of holly. “We’ve
-had none at the house, and you remember how Annie loved holly.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” Lucy answered, “I remember—Annie’s holly.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop still kept the spray of crimson berries in his hand when
-they had crossed the hall into the library, where the fire sprang
-high and where beyond the twin windows that matched those of the
-dining-room, the river had turned to slaty gray below the dulling
-eastern sky. The light in the room was quite clear, but yet the
-Bishop, in the dizziness that followed his rising and walking from the
-dining-room, groped<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span> for a chair, and sank into it awkwardly, leaning
-back a moment with shut eyes. For the instant his clear old face looked
-withered, and his hands upon the chair-arms hung lax.</p>
-
-<p>Lucy was still standing against the fire glow, slight, vivid, imperious.</p>
-
-<p>“Henry!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop opened vague eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t let you look like that, Henry, to-day!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop smiled, “I’m a bit tired. I’ve just remembered it. You had
-made me forget it, as usual, made me forget both the tiredness and
-some other things. They come back upon me now. I’ve had a rather rough
-morning of it, to tell the truth.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me about it,” she said, sitting down.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve been hearing things I didn’t want to hear, and believing things
-I didn’t want to believe, and trying to do things I couldn’t do, all
-morning. It seems a pretty long time since to-day began. Oh, I was
-going to do great things to-day when I got up!”</p>
-
-<p>“But the day is not over.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span></p>
-
-<p>“That is just it,” he answered. “My day <em>is</em> over!”</p>
-
-<p>“No, no, it must never be over! You must never speak like that! Why
-even I—” she broke off, “but you, Henry! Who were always such a boy
-for hoping! You mustn’t stop; I’ll never let you!”</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her with a grave, far gaze, “It would be a Christmas gift
-that I need, Lucy, if to-day you gave me hope. You are the only person
-who can!”</p>
-
-<p>“What has gone wrong, Henry?”</p>
-
-<p>“It was only that I wanted to give Westbury a Christmas present, and
-Westbury would not have it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who, pray, had the right to say so?”</p>
-
-<p>“Newbold.”</p>
-
-<p>“Newbold! He! What rights has he in Westbury, may I ask?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s glance was startled and penetrating, “Has he none, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>She caught back her words sharply, saying merely, “No right to hurt
-you, Henry, that is all. But tell me about the Christmas present to
-Westbury.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span> It is some new philanthropic scheme of yours, I suppose.
-Tell me about it, for you know you might offer your Christmas present
-to me. Try whether I’ll take it, if I am Westbury.”</p>
-
-
-<p class="center p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img003">
- <img src="images/003.jpg" class="w50" alt="As before, he knocked, all eager, and again opening
-doors flashed ruddy on the night" />
-</span></p>
-<p class="center caption">As before, he knocked, all eager, and again opening
-doors flashed ruddy on the night<br /><i>See <a href="#Page_146">page 146</a></i></p>
-
-<p>His face broke aflame, “You will?” he cried, “I believe that you can!”</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me!” she repeated, dropping her chin upon her white bodkin
-fingers, and fixing her eyes upon the beauty of his face.</p>
-
-<p>The two clear, pale old faces looked forth at each other across a
-space, while slowly there drew in about them the mystery of the dusk.
-Athwart the gathering twilight, the Bishop’s voice fell musical and
-clear.</p>
-
-<p>“The day didn’t go very well, not till I got here to you. I got up
-feeling a bit shaky. I’m going to treat myself to that couch over there
-presently. Perhaps if my head had been clearer I might have seen better
-how to do what I tried to do to-day. But I’m afraid the real trouble
-goes deeper, and dates farther back. Christmas day sometimes throws a
-light back over the other days and years. I haven’t done what might
-have been done with all the years that have been<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span> granted me. I see
-that to-day. And now it is too late, isn’t it?”</p>
-
-<p>“What has happened to-day?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing has happened but knowledge, perhaps, knowledge to which I have
-forced myself to be blind. But in the light of Christmas I had to see,
-that’s all. And so I suppose I’m a little discouraged, and need to be
-bolstered up, as you can. It’s a good thing for me that you’ve never
-had time to grow old, Lucy. For it’s no fun,” his smile flashed, then
-fell as suddenly, “this being old.”</p>
-
-<p>She fought against his growing seriousness, “I’ve had to stay young,
-Henry, to keep you from growing old. So don’t go and be old all of a
-sudden to-day,”—she forced her tone to evenness, “not to-day of all
-days! I will have to-day!”</p>
-
-<p>“I wanted to-day, too,” he answered, “but I’ve had to give up what I
-wanted, so far, twice.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who, exactly, is the trouble, Henry?”</p>
-
-<p>“Newbold.”</p>
-
-<p>He paused so long that Lucy asked with the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span> faintest frown of
-weariness, “Well, and what has that young man done to-day?”</p>
-
-<p>“Young, he is that, certainly! I half forgot it, young and
-therefore,—” again he stopped, but his eyes were kindled.</p>
-
-<p>“No, not ‘therefore,’” Lucy answered keenly, “if you mean by that that
-he is still young enough to improve.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not with help?”</p>
-
-<p>“Whose?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop hesitated, eyes intent, searching hers, then answered,
-“Westbury’s, for Westbury has hurt him.”</p>
-
-<p>“Will he profit by Westbury’s help if he has not profited by yours?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop mused, frankly anxious, puzzled, “I had been thinking that
-if Westbury had hurt him, just for that reason perhaps, Westbury—could
-also help him, and would.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Henry, Henry,” she shook her head with pursed, humorous lips, “you
-talk in abstract terms. But Westbury is no abstraction. ‘Westbury could
-help him.’ Exactly what do you mean? For who, pray, is Westbury?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s gaze met hers; there was humor in his eyes as in hers, but
-also something deeper, something watchful, strange.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh,” she laughed, “I remember. I am Westbury! Do you mean, Henry
-Collinton, that I am to help this Newbold of yours? That I am to make a
-gentleman of him, if you couldn’t?”</p>
-
-<p>But at her words the Bishop’s face grew stern, “No, I have utterly
-failed to make him anything that I wished. But it is arrogant, perhaps,
-this hoping to make anybody anything. Yet how could I help hoping? He
-was a splendid boy, and I had no son.”</p>
-
-<p>In that stern, brooding silence, Lucy said at length, “Don’t mind too
-much, Henry. Remember you idealize—persons and—towns. He was always
-out of place here, that is all. He could never belong here.”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop turned his head in the old quick boyish way, “But could he
-not have a place in Westbury, if Westbury would make a place for him?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Incorrigible one!” she smiled. “How?”</p>
-
-<p>Stern age in judgment on his failure left the Bishop’s face,—the
-little sunny child stole back to it. “I have a little hope,” he
-admitted, “but so very small! It depends on you, all of it.”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes were all aflame, but his tone was grave. “You know so well
-how to help a man in his work, how to cheer him on through doubt and
-failure. Have you ever failed me?”</p>
-
-<p>“I know how to let a man talk to me, perhaps,” she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, how you have let me talk to you, always,—ever since the mission
-was founded! Ever since that day we have talked, ever since that day I
-have brought my work to you!”</p>
-
-<p>“And I have listened!”</p>
-
-<p>“And have helped! Lucy, as you have helped,” she felt the sharp intake
-of his breath, “as you have helped me, could you not also help him who
-shall come after me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Come after you? What, whom, do you mean, Henry! You cannot surely mean
-that he, your Newbold, shall come after <em>you</em>?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You know the diocese, Lucy, as I know it—can you doubt that—<abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr>
-Newbold—will come after me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Henry, would you, could you, choose that he should? After <em>you</em>?”</p>
-
-<p>“What choice have I? I—I am passing on. The sadness is that I would
-have desired him to follow me, once.”</p>
-
-<p>“Now?”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you help him, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>“How?”</p>
-
-<p>“Be his friend. He does not believe you his friend. It is the only
-hope.”</p>
-
-<p>“Hope of what, Henry?”</p>
-
-<p>“It seems to me at this moment, the only hope of all that I have
-desired.”</p>
-
-<p>Leaning back in infinite weariness, he gazed into the fire, silently.
-In the dusky room the fire glow was rosy warm about them, as they sat
-in twin chairs before the hearth. Silently the old footman had entered,
-and across the room had lighted and turned low a green-shaded lamp.
-Lucy sat motionless. A coal slipped down, with a whisper, glowed, and
-dimmed to ashes.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span></p>
-
-<p>“What have you desired, Henry?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop turned, “You have had all my dreams,” he answered, “so
-you know.” A strange mysticism showed upon his face, “I have desired
-to-day, to give all that I had to the poor, and to the rich, to the
-rich! And I could not!” At her look of puzzled curiosity, he explained
-quickly, with a passing smile, “But that is a Christmas secret, between
-<abbr title="doctor">Dr.</abbr> Newbold and me. And besides, it is all over, now,—that little
-Christmas dream.” Again a long gaze into the fire where one can watch
-one’s wishes glowing, dying. “And I have desired most of all, to leave
-my work to someone who would understand and carry it on!”</p>
-
-<p>“Who could understand, Henry,” she whispered, “your work?”</p>
-
-<p>He turned his head toward her, quick and sunny. “You alone, perhaps,
-and therefore you will help him to understand.”</p>
-
-<p>“How?”</p>
-
-<p>“By giving him courage, as you have given it to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never gave you courage.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Yes! And so, let me believe, you will give it to him!”</p>
-
-<p>“Courage for what? Be explicit, dreamer!”</p>
-
-<p>“Courage to reopen the Southside Mission, and to keep it open,—and
-every mission throughout the diocese! Let him know that Westbury stands
-by him there!”</p>
-
-<p>“But if—” she spoke low, “if it doesn’t?”</p>
-
-<p>There was a stab of pain on the Bishop’s face, and then bright hope,
-“Let him know you do! That will be enough! And besides,” he smiled,
-“can you not make Westbury do whatever you wish?”</p>
-
-<p>“I never tried,” she answered musingly, “to make Westbury do anything
-it did <em>not</em> wish.”</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot believe,” he cried, “that it wishes the closing of the
-mission. There has been somehow a mistake. It cannot be. It would mean
-the going out of a lamp which you and I saw kindled,—it does not seem
-to me so very long ago.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is a lifetime.”</p>
-
-<p>The light died from the Bishop’s face, leaving on it all the cruelty
-of age. “Yes, a lifetime<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span> that is over,” for a moment his lips showed
-their palsied working, for a moment spoke an old man’s querulousness,
-“they could not have closed the mission without my knowing it, if they
-had not thought me, already, laid upon the shelf!”</p>
-
-<p>“Henry,” she pleaded, “not that, please!”</p>
-
-<p>“No, not that!” he cried, instantly himself and contrite, “we pass, but
-the work goes on! I am an old man who has somehow made a failure of it.
-But I’ll try not to think of that any more, clouding our Christmasing.
-I’ll try just to remember I am leaving Murray Newbold and Westbury, the
-two I have loved, to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Leaving! But, Henry, you speak as if I were not also old! What time
-have I left, for Newbold, for Westbury, more than you?”</p>
-
-<p>“You will have time,” he answered, while the mysticism again touched
-his face, “my head is not clear to-day, but that is one of the things I
-seem to know, that you will have time, more than I. Time enough to help
-Newbold to learn his own strength. He has never tried it. Time enough
-to teach him to fight. A soldier, he’ll not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span> desert,—afterwards. And
-time enough to help Westbury rekindle the mission, whose death would
-mean—you and I know,” his voice fell and he groped a little for words,
-a little confused, “the light must not die, you will have time to keep
-the light, to keep Westbury—alive. Your Westbury and mine! I seem to
-know to-day,” his low voice, in the twilight, was very clear, “that you
-will have time to help the man and the town I have failed to help.”</p>
-
-<p>“If time were all that is needed, Henry, to help them!”</p>
-
-<p>Looking into the fire, he did not turn, answering happily, “Whatever
-else is needed you possess, and have given to me for sixty years.”</p>
-
-<p>With the snapping of a lifetime’s tension her voice rang, “Henry, stop
-looking into the fire! For sixty years you have looked into dreams.
-Now, once, look at me!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop turned.</p>
-
-<p>Her elfin laugh tinkled, “The fairies were good to you, Henry, they
-gave you eyes that do not see.”</p>
-
-<p>While she spoke, slowly the Bishop saw, but<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span> at first he saw only a
-girl’s witch-face in the fire glow.</p>
-
-<p>“I will make you see this once, Henry Collinton—<em>me</em>! You look
-strange, Henry! As if you couldn’t guess what’s coming. Neither, I
-assure you, can I. You called me Lucy Dwight of the long ago,—and
-you’ll have to take the consequences! I like you to look strange, for
-then you don’t look old! Look young, Henry, and look at me! You are
-looking, I believe, at last, with open eyes,—looking at a woman, not
-a diocese. Henry, I might say in passing that I did not think once, on
-one afternoon we both recall,—but differently!—when we talked about
-a mission, that we should still be talking about that mission after
-sixty years. You will excuse my changing the subject from your work
-for a few moments, then, after sixty years! I’ve been a pretty good
-listener—take your turn!”</p>
-
-<p>She looked no longer at the Bishop, who watched her as if she were
-some Christmas sprite risen out of the red hearth. Her white old face,
-white-crowned, was touched to rose and gold by the fire flame.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Shall I draw you a portrait, Henry, of someone you have never seen?
-Yet it is a portrait on constant exhibition. It is shown to every
-guest in Westbury,—a private exhibition is called High Tea at Mrs.
-Hollister’s. People watch the guest when he sees the portrait; by its
-effect he is judged. People point out that the portrait is valuable
-historically, since it combines inseparably the style of sixty years
-ago with the style of to-day. That is because the picture has been
-retouched so carefully from year to year to fit the taste of the times.
-So the painting is seen to represent the sixty-year history of a town,
-even to costume,” she flashed a white hand from throat to skirt of her
-clinging black which looked at first sight so fresh from a fashion
-plate and was so carefully studied to fit no decade, and no person, but
-her own.</p>
-
-<p>“Who would ever have thought Lucy Dwight could have stepped into a
-picture and stayed there all her life? She did not expect to, once, but
-she made up her mind to it, later, when one day she looked in the glass
-and took stock of what was left to her. She was twenty then.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I am proud of the portrait, frankly. I have enjoyed making it. I
-haven’t had anything else to do, except, of course,” a ripple of
-laughter ran through her tone, “to listen! The portrait needed a frame,
-so I’ve made that, too. Your figure of speech was inaccurate, a while
-ago. I am not Westbury. Westbury is the frame; I am the portrait, the
-portrait of an interesting old woman, interesting to everybody but
-herself!”</p>
-
-<p>Lucy was an artist, she knew the value of the pause, she knew the
-value of a shrug, the most delicate perceptible lifting of brows and
-shoulders, she knew the value of hands, that, out of periods of quiet,
-flickered now and then, spirit-white against the black shadows of her
-gown. An artist, she forgot the Bishop while she talked and did not
-look upon the change that grew upon his face.</p>
-
-<p>“It is very easy to be interesting. It only needs that you always guess
-what people are going to say next and never let them guess what you are
-going to say next. It needs a gift for words and a gift for silence.
-It was the process by which I brought up my children. My children have
-always<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span> known they did not know their mother, a course of training
-easier than spanking and more efficacious.” She stopped a moment. Her
-clasped hands tightened, “Yet in ultimate effect, at seventy-seven, a
-little lonely. We prefer our Christmases apart, my children and I.”
-Her words fell clear against a long silence following, “My husband, of
-course, spoiled the children. I was perfectly willing that he should;
-they were his children.”</p>
-
-<p>After a pause, the Bishop, bringing the words forth from far away
-murmured, musing, “Fathers do spoil children, perhaps.”</p>
-
-<p>Her tone turned tense, “I would have spoiled Nan!” then, resuming her
-gaze into the fire, upon her portrait, she continued her retrospective
-analysis, “And I have managed the town as I have managed my family.
-What Mrs. Hollister says, what Mrs. Hollister does not say, about
-ministers and missions, about dinners and diners, Westbury waits
-to know, and I have never let it be quite, quite sure! So Westbury
-watches, watches me—but oh, not as I watch Westbury! For it would be
-a little curious and disquieting—if<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span> I should cease to be popular! I
-don’t think that unpopularity would exactly suit—my physique! I am old
-and accustomed to sovereignty, even if it is, well, a bit monotonous!
-We were young and lively once, Westbury and I, but now we grow old and
-wish to be complacent and comfortable, so we don’t poke at each other’s
-consciences. And, indeed, why should we? For are we not pretty good,
-when one stops to look at us!” Patriotism deepened her voice, “Where is
-there another Westbury! We have kept the heritage of our fathers! We
-have not grown cheap in Westbury!” Then a lighter tone, “And how could
-we be very bad when we always have had you to idealize us! Ever since
-you were a boy! You came to us a stranger and we took you in, at once.
-We sometimes do take in the stranger at once, and sometimes never.
-Nowadays he must be presented to the portrait, and must pass that
-examination. Young Murray Newbold has never passed his, and he knows
-it. I believe I rather like to see him squirm, for it is not petty, it
-is a giant’s squirming, and I enjoy it because I fancy it has ceased to
-be perceptible to any eye but mine.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span> It is interesting to observe the
-effect of the air of Westbury on some constitutions. Your young Newbold
-would have been worth bringing up once, but he has never learned not
-to be afraid, and that brings it about that he has parted with every
-good quality he possesses except his brain. That is still with us,
-fortunately, for, quite between us, in spite of patriotism, I must say
-there are not many brains in active employment in Westbury in these
-days (I’m not, of course, so impolitic as to say ‘in these days’ to
-anyone but you, Henry!). We have about half-a-dozen brains in Westbury
-capable of conversation,—yours and young Newbold’s and mine, I forget
-the other three!” Her laugh died into a thoughtful pause.</p>
-
-<p>“And yet a brain for a woman is a big stupidity. But perhaps I ought
-not to quarrel with mine, for,” she drew a quick breath of intensity,
-“it has given me all I’ve ever had! Oh, you and I have had some great
-old talks, haven’t we, here by my old red fire! Brains make—at
-least—good comradeship!” Her voice fell low, “I sometimes wonder if
-there is anything better for—men<span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span> and women—than good comradeship.
-What—what do you think, Henry?” But still she looked into the fire and
-not at him, and the Bishop did not answer. For a moment his deep gaze
-upon her wavered, went to the blackening window,—below there in the
-wintry garden long bleak stems broke aflame with wee yellow blossoms,
-beneath them little brown Annie walked among the roses.</p>
-
-<p>“How curiously that holly glistens, Henry!” Lucy’s eyes were upon the
-long lean hands transparent to the fire glow, then suddenly in a voice
-lingering and judicial, “I really do not know whether it is so very
-interesting after all to be an interesting old woman!”</p>
-
-<p>Lucy’s hands unclasped, fluttered an instant on the chair arms, then
-lay still, “Oh, I am bored! And I have been bored for so long! It would
-astonish this town of mine to know how it bores me! There is nothing
-new for me anywhere! I know what everybody is going to say and do. If
-it were not for you, I should even know what I myself am going to say
-and do! Oh, dull, dull, dull,—this being old! I wish I had something
-to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span> do! I don’t even yet feel old enough to do nothing, yet when have I
-ever done anything else?”</p>
-
-<p>The fire snapped in the stillness of the room, embers leaping up, the
-sooner to die to blackened ashes. Lucy’s voice grew low and vibrant.</p>
-
-<p>“You wonder why I speak these things to-day? It is your own fault,
-Henry, my friend! Why do I keep my hearth fire bright except that you
-should drop in beside it and talk to me? It is quite the only thing
-left that is entertaining. And to-day you yourself threaten that!” Her
-voice fell low, “Christmas has always been my day, why this time do
-you bring with you these terrible thoughts, this talk of—death! Why
-talk of it, the thinking of it is bad enough! Did anyone ever hear me
-talk of dying? Except, of course, my lawyer. No, when death takes me,
-he must catch me first! I shall never go forth to meet him with plans
-and preparations for the things that shall come after,—and why should
-you? Why must you talk of your going, speaking as if I could have an
-interest in your work without you! Oh, Henry, why did you yourself
-bring the spectre to our Christmas fire, where I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span> wanted to be snug and
-warm! You are not afraid, but I—I regret to confess it, I am!” Then
-her tone grew less intense, determinedly casual, “Yet it is curious
-that I should care or really take the trouble to be afraid! I who am
-bored to the uttermost! The other will be at least a new thing! But I
-have never been fond of games of chance! A picture in a frame is dead
-enough, but a coffin is—ugh!—slightly worse! It is so ugly, this
-dying! Nobody can ever say I yielded to it before I had to—I have
-yielded so far, I flatter myself, to nothing! Yet when I must, I shall
-step into my carriage and drive off with my head up and my lips shut,
-like a lady! As I have lived!”</p>
-
-<p>She paused, momentarily conscious of his expression, so that to the
-strange intentness of his watching face she went on, “I never have
-yielded to the need of a confessional before; if I do so once in a
-lifetime, you really must excuse me, Henry!</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, for you it is different, you are not afraid; you are a man,
-and then you have your religion. But a woman is rarely religious, at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span>
-least a woman who has not had what she wanted! As a thinking person, I
-quite envy you your religion. It is a valuable possession, at this end
-of life. Not that I am unorthodox—who is, in our good old churchly
-Westbury? I am a good churchwoman,—that does not enable me to see
-through a stone wall. Oh, Henry, Henry, here you come to-day, looking
-so pale that I can’t bear it, and talking of going, passing on, leaving
-your work! You have made me feel how near we are, you and I, to that
-stone wall. I am sitting here shivering at the strange things on the
-other side!”</p>
-
-<p>No light but the ebbing fire and the clear green lamp, and somewhere
-outside in the darkness stars above the swift rush of the river.</p>
-
-<p>“It is this that makes me talk. The time is so short, here, and over
-there—who knows about over there? One speaks out at last, I find,
-after being good for sixty years. For I have been good, have I not,
-Henry, for sixty years,—listened and listened, helped, as you believe,
-your work? It has been a great thing to be jealous of so great a work!
-Did you really think my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span> mind was in it, that I really cared,—I!—for
-missions, for making men over, for turning a town right about face!</p>
-
-<p>“I never expected to speak out; pictures in frames do not expect to
-speak out. Yet I might have known, for sooner or later everyone does
-speak out to you. I’ve been rather proud of being the one exception.
-But is it not my turn? And yours to listen, to me, just once, at last?
-You are surprised, I suppose. I am afraid I do not care that you are. I
-had to open your eyes. You speak as if I existed only to carry on your
-work—it has always been like that. So I’ve drawn you a portrait. Do
-you still think, looking at it, that I am the one to give you hope, I!
-What do you think, Henry Collinton, of the portrait of Lucy Dwight?”</p>
-
-<p>Her strangely gleaming eyes at last met the Bishop’s deep gaze,
-profound, unfaltering. There was stillness, then the Bishop spoke, in
-quiet judgment on himself, “My work? Yet I had hoped that it seemed
-God’s. And for sixty years I have thought that you loved it!”</p>
-
-<p>“I have loved you!”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p>
-
-<p>There was no old age for them now, no past, no future. Beyond the room
-that briefly held them were night and the river and death. She was Lucy
-Dwight of the flickering fire flame, who laid bare at the last her
-deathless desire. The man she loved was God’s, was all men’s. After a
-lifetime of delicate sanity, she cried out to him to be for one hour
-hers. Then she waited.</p>
-
-<p>The singular clarity of the Bishop’s brain had annulled for him every
-other emotion. He no longer felt any shock of revelation. The lucidity
-of his thinking was like a physical sensation of actual daylight in the
-room and beyond the windows. He saw the past as if it had been written
-in a foreign tongue and with a new meaning, but he saw it as plainly as
-black print on white paper. The woman before him was one whom he had
-never known, but he read her soul, too, clear as a printed page. So
-strangely clear his head, it seemed to him he could have laid his hand
-on that wall of death Lucy had talked of, that it would have crumbled
-at his touch, leaving him standing on the other side, in this same new
-daylight, serene and unsurprised. So crystal his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span> thoughts that words
-seemed to him a remote and frivolous medium, like a grown man’s being
-forced to rediscover his baby-lisp in order to make himself understood.
-His personal pain had become merely a matter for reflection and limpid
-analysis. Carried far on thought that ran deep and wide, the Bishop
-spoke, hardly conscious of his words, “But love <em>loves</em>! It does
-not hurt! You knew me and my faith in you and my hope through you. If
-you had loved me, would you have destroyed for me that faith and hope?
-Would you not have taken from my hand my boy and my town, to take care
-of and to help, if you had loved me?”</p>
-
-<p>They seemed to sit there as if looking on these words, in a silence
-that grew palpitant. Then her cry broke, “Henry, I can be all that you
-have believed, I can promise to try to do all that you desire. If you
-ask me to do it for you! Do you?”</p>
-
-<p>All in that strange daylight within his brain, the Bishop saw the
-future, saw his work die with him. In the same white light he saw the
-woman before him whom he had never known.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p>
-
-<p>Lucy waited. God’s or hers? Yet why had she loved him except because
-he had never been hers? The Bishop’s gaze rested upon her in a far
-tranquillity of insight.</p>
-
-<p>“No.”</p>
-
-<p>He sat there, quiet as a portrait before her gaze, and all alone. She
-had desired to rouse him from bodily weakness, and there was about
-him now no taint of feebleness. He sat erect, his long hands tranquil
-but not flaccid. A smile touched his lips, so fine and firm, a man’s
-smile, not a child’s; a smile of thought in retrospect, neither bright
-nor bitter. He had believed his lonely life cheered by a beautiful
-friendship, so sacred that he had supposed it hallowed the shrines of
-his God, of his wife, even as he did. This friendship had not been what
-he thought it. Truth was well. He had no friend. There remained God.</p>
-
-<p>“Henry!”</p>
-
-<p>He looked over to her with a far, alien pity.</p>
-
-<p>“Have I lost you, Henry? I was never mad before. To keep you I have
-been for a lifetime so frightfully wise! Have I lost you now?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p>
-
-<p>Involuntarily he shut his eyes, the faintest line was pencilled between
-his brows. Pain struck home again through all that serenity of light.
-If there was one thing Henry Collinton, the man, loved, it was reserve,
-the delicate stateliness of their mutual sympathy. Yet here was the
-nakedness of a woman’s soul! Words seemed to him too far away to find
-or utter.</p>
-
-<p>“Henry, sometimes you seem to me to see only God!”</p>
-
-<p>Still he sat before her, silent and motionless as a portrait statue, as
-austere and beautiful. His face was in profile to her. The firelight
-fell on his silver-white hair and filled the eyes that did not turn or
-see her. Still she seemed to him changed into a stranger. But her words
-sounded in his head, “Sometimes you seem to see only God!” The Bishop
-put up his right hand to his brow, suddenly veiling his face from her.
-Against the strange recoil from her his quick prayer throbbed. So long
-Lucy gazed at that corded old hand that shut him from her that there
-grew at last on her face also, a marble sternness that matched his own.
-She was no longer beautiful<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span> beneath that blighting cynicism. Behind
-his lifted hand, the Bishop did not guess his testing, alone with God
-as he sat there, praying against this quivering repulsion of his soul.
-At last Lucy’s eyes turned from him to the fire. The smile of a faint
-scorn caught on her lips! Scorn for herself? Scorn for him? Sixty years
-of loving? Was this its issue?</p>
-
-<p>Silence, except for the whispering fire.</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop dropped his hand, leaning back a moment in uttermost relief.
-From head to foot, he felt, all quietly, some stern tension relaxed,
-and with it there passed away also something of that intensely clear
-vision he had just experienced. Looking now toward that other chair by
-the fire, he knew it was no stranger but the old familiar Lucy seated
-there, his friend, and how tired she looked and white and lonely! He
-must try to understand. It was very strange to realize it all, but
-step by step he must try to understand, even though he felt again now
-suddenly, and far more certainly, the shutting in upon him of the
-vagueness and dullness of the morning hours. He cried out to the Friend
-to hold it at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span> bay a little while that he might talk to Lucy. He smiled
-over to her sunnily.</p>
-
-<p>As she looked into his eyes that blighting scorn was transformed into
-a tremulous new beauty, her brooding face suddenly puckered with the
-painful tears of age.</p>
-
-<p>“Henry, tell me how to live without you! Give it to me this Christmas
-Day, that gift of hope!”</p>
-
-<p>“I would,” he answered slowly, “if I could! But I haven’t been so
-very successful in my gift-giving to-day. So I don’t feel very sure
-of myself. You’ll be patient, won’t you, while I try to understand?”
-Slowly and humbly he felt his way, with wistful pauses. “There is so
-much that is new to me, to understand.” Deep in thought he gazed into
-the past. “You have been very patient with me. I see now how often I
-have been self-absorbed and selfish, bringing it all to you, every
-worry. I have taken,—I see it now—much sympathy and given very
-little. It’s a little late, isn’t it, after sixty years, to ask you to
-excuse it?” He shook his head with a strange, sad little smile. “How I
-have talked<span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span> to you! Always! It must indeed have seemed to you a long,
-long listening! I am sorry!”</p>
-
-<p>“But I am not sorry, Henry!”</p>
-
-<p>“No!” his face brightened. “For if I have been self-absorbed, you at
-least can remember that you have been very good to me. That helps, does
-it not?” he pleaded quickly. “That thought helps a little toward cheer?
-For as I try to understand, I do not seem able to look back and read
-my life without you. You have always strengthened me. You have never
-failed me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Until to-day?”</p>
-
-<p>Her whisper sent a shiver of hurt along his lips, but in a moment he
-achieved steadiness, holding self at bay. “That!” his breath caught,
-then low words that grew calm, “But as you said, it is perhaps my turn
-now, to listen to you. It is only fair, as you said, that I should
-listen and see, at last.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never meant you to see. I always knew what would happen if you did.”
-Her voice throbbed through the dusky room, with strange finality, “And
-now it <em>has</em> happened!”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes met hers, crystal clear, “Nothing has<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span> happened,” he said
-simply; “I think nothing ever happens, does it, to friends?”</p>
-
-<p>There was a strange wondering relief upon her keen white face, as she
-listened for his words, seeing the old boyish mysticism brighten in
-his eyes. “But let me keep on trying to understand. They cannot be
-very easy to bear, the things you have been telling me about, all that
-I have been so dull and slow to guess. It will never do for either of
-us to let Christmas day go out in the blues. The air seemed full of
-good cheer this morning; we mustn’t lose that, you and I, just because
-we are being drawn into the evening. You have been cheer itself to me
-through all these years; if only I knew the word to say to you now! My
-thoughts don’t feel very clear or manageable, but you know I want to
-find the right word! You who have always known what to say to me.” He
-fell thoughtful and silent, then looked up quickly, “You see it was
-for that reason that I couldn’t help asking you to look after Murray,
-because I knew what you had done for me. I have had every hope for
-him, and you know how hard it is for me to give up a thing I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span> have
-hoped for,—that is why I caught at your friendship for him as the one
-security now. I thought perhaps there would be for you the pleasure
-in his brain, in his strength, that I have felt. But no, now I see it
-cannot be. It would all be too hard on you. I know, of course,” he
-sighed, “Murray’s faults. I’ve cared too much for him not to know them;
-that was another reason, my love for him, that made me want to feel
-that I was leaving him to you, to help him through—what lies before
-him. But now I see it would be painful and difficult for you—one man
-who has always brought you all the worry of his work has been enough!
-And even to-day I have been bringing it all to you still, troubling you
-with my work and worry and Murray and Westbury! Lucy, believe me, I
-never meant to be selfish with it! I see at last that I have been.</p>
-
-<p>“And Westbury,—shall we leave that subject quiet, too, as being
-troublesome to-day? And the Southside Mission and all the other
-missions, and the spirit that enkindles them, and must be kept alive
-here and everywhere—one tries to keep the fire alight, but one must go
-some day,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span> trusting, hoping, not <em>knowing</em>, for that is too much
-to ask! I will try not to trouble you with all that, any more, to-day.
-It was a good deal, wasn’t it, to ask you to keep a whole town—alive!
-One of my dreams! Such incorrigible dreams they must seem to you, I’m
-afraid. I am always looking into dreams, you said. And perhaps my
-Westbury is all a dream, for it has always seemed to me one of the holy
-places. It does not seem, when you talk, to be that to you. You see,
-I thought we were one in our love for it,—that is why I talked of
-leaving it to you—it all sounds now, doesn’t it, a little fantastic?
-Have I always lived in fantasy then? Are you showing me truth at the
-last, Lucy?”</p>
-
-<p>His voice ceased, weary. His face looked forth from the shadow depths,
-worn to silver-white by all the years, then, even as he paused, hope
-ran across it a bright transforming hand.</p>
-
-<p>“It cannot be true! It need not be true! Need it, Lucy? I seem to
-see—forgive me one more dream,—Murray with you to help him, still
-keeping Westbury the Westbury of our youth. Of our youth! The old
-customs, the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span> way of graceful living, you have kept! And now to keep
-the spirit, the spirit of the place, its simple godliness, its simple
-friendliness! It has seemed to me God’s ground, where He let me walk a
-little while and serve and then pass on, hoping! Hoping, Lucy?</p>
-
-<p>“For you, there is so much left!” he spoke a bit wistfully. “Such
-vigor still and life left in you! It does not matter if the years left
-are few and late, if they can be so strong and beautiful! While, as
-for me—” he shook his head, shrugging his shoulders, smiling, “oh,
-these poor old bodies that we wear, how they fetter and confine! Yet
-we mustn’t scorn them too much either, poor things, when they’ve done
-their best for us for eighty years!”</p>
-
-<p>Something in her listening face recalled him, “Dear me, I am at it
-again! Troubling you again with the things that shall come after. It
-was only that I saw before you for a moment—so much! I seem to see
-so much everywhere, to-day. And yet much of it is sadly jumbled. Your
-brain never seems to play these sorry tricks on you. You’re feeling
-patient still, aren’t you,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span> he smiled, “while I try still to remember
-and understand?”</p>
-
-<p>Slowly keenness grew in his gaze upon her face, mute before him and
-subtle. His words were a little hesitant, “I do not believe it is quite
-true, that figure of a portrait. It hurts us both to think about that
-portrait, because it is not true. Truly, I think my idea was better
-than that, that you are the spirit of the place. Yes, I prefer my
-figure of speech to yours, and so I shall keep it and forget yours. We
-have known each other too long to believe in that portrait,—it’s such
-a lonesome notion, somehow! Perhaps you feel like a portrait yourself
-sometimes when you’re sitting alone by the fire and feeling a little
-down, as we all do sometimes, I’m afraid, but you surely couldn’t
-expect me to believe you a picture in a frame when for a lifetime
-you’ve seemed life and energy to me! So remember,” an instant his voice
-grew lower, “always remember—” the old twinkle showed, “that I don’t
-believe a word of it!”</p>
-
-<p>He knew that her eyes, at full gaze on him, frankly showed all secrets,
-but they were secrets<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span> he was not sure he read. Still he was trying to
-understand, while he paused for help.</p>
-
-<p>“You did not quite mean, did you, that the dullness, the boredom, is
-all the time present with you? Only sometimes? It is very puzzling
-to believe ennui of you who seem so alert. You are very brave at
-concealing it,—you must know the remedy better than I do, for it is
-one of the things that have not been chosen for me to bear, for I still
-get up in the morning expecting new things to happen. I did this very
-day.”</p>
-
-<p>Involuntary mocking pulled at her lips. “New things <em>are</em>
-happening to us both to-day!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes!” he murmured, while his face was shadowed, then reverting, “To be
-dull every day! It seems to me almost the saddest thing you have said
-to me! I wish it were not so! I wish I had the right word to say for
-that!”</p>
-
-<p>He sat silent, hesitant and doubtful.</p>
-
-<p>“Henry, say out to me all that you have in mind to say. I need it.
-There are no veils left!”</p>
-
-<p>His face grew clear with light.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You are looking into dreams again!” she cried, “but now tell me what
-you see!”</p>
-
-<p>“What I see for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, that belongs to me now.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think I see for you what might be,” he began hesitant.
-“Mysteriously, there is in you still the power of effort together with
-the power of wisdom. It seems to me that it is like a cup in your hand,
-your influence. And if it should be all in vain,—I know to-day that
-much we desire to do must be in vain. We understand that together, you
-and I. I feel, you know, as if the soul of a man and the soul of a town
-were in your keeping for a little while,—if you should take them,
-might it not be that new thing you want? Might it not bring you joy and
-forgetting? My work has meant that to me. And I know it is very lonely
-if one never forgets. And even if it were all in vain, might it not be
-life and hope to you, Lucy? I do not want to preach any preachments,
-you know that, surely. I can only tell you what I have lived. Perhaps
-I have never lived in reality—I half guess it this evening,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span> looking
-back, and looking forward, seeing all that I have not done. It isn’t
-very easy to grow old, not easy for anyone to feel the body breaking
-beyond mending, and to see all that is unfinished, but I believe, Lucy,
-an enthusiasm is the one thing to keep us warm, us old ones. I’ve done
-a plentiful amount of failing, but I wish I could succeed in one thing
-now,—I wish God would let me give you the word of joy to-night!”</p>
-
-<p>It was so quiet in the old room, that low-lighted space, four-square,
-swung out upon the night. The Bishop’s long fingers passed slowly
-across his brow, trying to smooth away that darkness which seemed
-shutting in upon his brain.</p>
-
-<p>“And might not effort new and different help you to forget, Lucy, that
-wall of death? Perhaps you might be so busy, so joyously busy, that you
-would come quite to the wall without seeing, and the gate would open
-so quickly that you would step through without waiting to be afraid. I
-wish God might let it be that way with you. Perhaps He will. Strange
-that for me death has always seemed easier than life, so that I’ve
-tried not to look at the thought of it too much,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span> not because of fear,
-because of beauty. It is only lately that I have felt that God will not
-mind if I look toward the gate. I think perhaps he’ll excuse me now,
-for wanting to get home. They’ve been waiting for me pretty long, too,
-Annie and Nan and the baby. He must be a man now. I often wonder by
-what ways they grow up over there.</p>
-
-<p>“Lucy, I wish you need not be afraid of going home.”</p>
-
-<p>Again the Bishop passed his hand over his forehead. He felt himself
-growing vague, tried blindly to remember what he was trying to say,
-turned to her at length, appealing, with a strange little smile of
-apology.</p>
-
-<p>“There is something I am trying to say, but somehow I keep losing it.
-Can you possibly excuse me if you try quite hard? For I know you’ve
-told me something this afternoon that I ought never to have forgotten,
-and somehow, Lucy, it’s gone, it fades, it escapes me! Only it was
-something that troubled you and that I was trying to understand. But
-I can’t, I can’t remember! But I wanted to say something to help<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span> a
-little, I remember that part of it. Lucy, for you and me, is that
-enough, even if I can’t remember what it was all about?</p>
-
-<p>“There is just one thing I can find the words for, before they slip
-away,—you and I have had to walk through life alone, and yet we have
-walked together. It was because God walked with us that we have walked
-together. Lucy, you will remember, whatever happens, that He is always
-there? And so, that way, you see, we can never be so very far apart!”</p>
-
-<p>They are piteous, the tears of age. Lucy pressed them back with ivory
-finger-tips on each eyelid, her hands masking all her face. Behind them
-stretched the long past, the brief future. The key to the future was
-in her broken whisper, “After all, God was just; Annie was fit to love
-you!”</p>
-
-<p>But the Bishop had risen suddenly, and crossed the room blindly,
-stumbling but once. The crashing pain in his head left only one
-instinct—air, the street, his own house! Instantly he must get there!
-Then sharp through his own pain came admonishment. He steadied himself
-with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span> one hand upon the mahogany table where the green lamp stood. It
-was the close of his Christmas, he remembered; would it go with no
-reassurance?</p>
-
-<p>The white panelled doorway behind him, he stood there by the low green
-lamp. His face was all longing, like a little child’s.</p>
-
-<p>“Lucy, I tried; have I given you—hope?”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop’s voice was low, lower than he knew, and it is sometimes
-impossible to hear or to speak. It was a long time before Lucy’s hands
-dropped from a face a-quiver. She looked about, startled to know
-herself alone when she felt only him, everywhere.</p>
-
-<p>But quietly the outer door had closed.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_IV">PART IV</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>Stars thridded the bare elm-boughs overhead. Always against the
-blackness of the next corner loomed a blurred ball of light, which,
-on approach, turned into a familiar street lamp. The broad avenue was
-almost deserted. From blurred light to light ran a space of pavement
-blessedly firm to hurrying, uncertain feet, yet lights and pavement
-seemed to multiply and stretch away indefinitely. But if one hurried,
-hurried on, there was someone waiting at the end.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes, against the dark faces of the housefronts, window-shades
-were rolled up, like eyelids opening, on home-pictures that reminded
-the Bishop it was Christmas night. The morning of the day gleamed
-through mist like one of the street lamps he was passing. Faces kept
-forming close against his eyes and then melted again into gray, into
-black, Mrs. Graham’s and Murray’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span> and Lucy’s, suffering, lonely faces
-that had been locked against his pleading. Now there only remained to
-get home.</p>
-
-<p>A street of black housefronts, closed upon good cheer within, the
-Bishop’s own street, any door of which would have opened readily to
-his need, had anyone guessed it! But illness had left in his brain
-only a great homing instinct. He knew he must not stop along the way,
-because like all other men in all the world on Christmas-night, he,
-too, had his own, and there, at home, his own were waiting for him.
-For at last he knew why he was hurrying so, it was because Annie was
-there, at home. He might not find her below in the hall, but she would
-be upstairs, listening for him and waiting. He knew that when his key
-turned, he should hear her voice, liquid and sweet with welcome, come
-floating down the shadowy stair, “Up here! I’m up here, Hal!”</p>
-
-<p>Yet when at length the Bishop did press his key into the lock, the
-house was silent and the hallway unlighted and chilly. Still Annie’s
-presence seemed all-pervasive, catching him back to older days,
-and making him, as he groped for a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span> match and lighted the gas-jet,
-forget to wonder why Mrs. Graham had not returned or to surmise the
-train missed for the baby’s sake. As he hung overcoat and hat on a
-peg of the towering black-walnut rack, his face being reflected to
-unseeing eyes in the glimmering mirror, the familiarity of the action
-and the security of his own hallway and open study door steadied
-and strengthened him. He had got home safe and sound after all, and
-now before climbing up to bed and undertaking all the weariness of
-undressing, he would put on his old black velvet dressing gown, and
-would sit down in the dark, in the sagging old leather armchair, and
-rest a little, and look out on the stars in the band of night-sky
-stretching below the rim of the piazza roof.</p>
-
-<p>The door into the hall, slightly ajar, allowed a little light to enter
-the room, showing the seated figure facing the long eastward window,
-the black velvet gown sweeping from throat to foot, and the long pale
-hands stretching out on the chair arms from the wide black cuffs. Hair
-and profiled face gleamed silver-white in the gloom. From to time the
-Bishop’s right hand moved to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span> pull the folds more closely over his
-knees, unconsciously, for he did not know that he was cold. Down below,
-under the rear piazza, at the grated iron door of the basement kitchen,
-the man who tended the furnace had set the whirring bell sounding again
-and again, but all unheeded. The two maids, returning, rang and knocked
-at all the doors, only to go away, baffled. The Bishop heard no sounds
-from without.</p>
-
-<p>Near the Bishop’s left hand, the corner by the window where the Friend
-was standing always harbored Annie’s work basket. It stood on three
-bamboo legs, an ample, covered basket, in which the old darning cotton
-was still, as long ago, a little tangled. Looking toward that little
-workstand the Bishop remembered that it was Annie he was sitting up to
-wait for. She was coming in very soon. Or was it Nan he was awaiting?
-Or someone else?</p>
-
-<p>The flowing lines of the Nazarene’s talith melted into the folds of
-the long curtain close to which He was standing. He was looking forth,
-together with the Bishop, on the Bishop’s town, where he had failed.
-Too tired to think about<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span> that any more, the Bishop only knew that the
-Friend understood failure. The little quick upward smile showed like a
-spent child’s, too tired to do anything but trust.</p>
-
-<p>Yet the Bishop’s thought, in retrospect upon his Christmas Day, was
-strangely clear, as he looked out on that familiar picture, white stars
-above in the night-blue and, below, the blackness gemmed by ruddier
-earth-lights. So dark now, yet so bright with sun and hope in the
-Christmas morning! His thought went out to the unseen houses, each
-holding a little group of his friends, following them to the bend of
-the river until his fancy walked once more among the tenements where he
-knew the brown babies with their great black eyes, his friends, too.</p>
-
-<p>Of late he had so often looked out on his little city wrapped in night,
-but not as now. Before, he had been thinking of his Christmas gift,
-the House of Friendship, which should, in the terms of some strange
-symbolism, give back to Westbury the beauty it had once given him. But
-this was not to be. He was quite clear about it all, and quiet. It was
-night now, and he had not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span> done any of the things he had meant to do
-in the morning. He had not even gone to church. God’s chalice! He had
-not been able on this Christmas Day to offer it to one soul in all his
-Westbury!</p>
-
-<p>All day long his hands had been baffled of their gift-giving. That
-was sometimes God’s way, the Bishop knew, as he leaned back in this
-strange, expectant peace. Suddenly, sharp as paintings torch-lit
-against a gloom, there passed before him again, as on the black street,
-those three faces out of his Christmas Day: Mrs. Graham’s, black hate
-scarcely lighted by love for that little Christmas baby; Newbold’s,
-storm-tossed upon a struggle that gave no presage of victory; and
-Lucy’s, seamed with the subtleties of a loneliness that could not see
-the only help for lonely living. These three faces were, God in his
-mystery had showed him to-day, only the symbols of his larger failure,
-in his town, in his diocese. His little garden space hedged in for him
-out of all the world, he had tended it with much love but with little
-wisdom. So God would have to take care of it now.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span></p>
-
-<p>Sharp again, just as the three faces had flashed forth out of darkness
-and passed close against the Bishop’s eyes, came other visions and
-pictures, those of his Christ-child poem of the morning. Only now it
-was no sacred city of the Orient, but the dumb and sleeping streets of
-Westbury where the Child went wandering. As before, he knocked, all
-eager, and again opening doors flashed ruddy on the night, to close
-again with a low dull sound. On and on he fled, a glimmering baby-form
-blown on the winter wind, until the Bishop’s eyes closed wearily from
-following. He opened them with a twitch of pain, and there without,
-close against the dark sash the Child was standing, not sad at all, but
-sweet and smiling. Then instantly this picture, like the others, faded,
-and again the Bishop knew himself with the familiarity of unnumbered
-silent nights like this one, seated alone in his study, quiet with
-the peace of the Friend. Through all the solitary hours of all the
-solitary years, the Friend had always stood there, clear-figured, by
-the eastward window.</p>
-
-<p>The night was wearing on as the Bishop sat,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span> waiting. Very soon they
-would be there. He remembered that he had been looking for them all
-the day. It would be very cosy to have them coming in on Christmas
-night—his own!</p>
-
-<p>But at the chiming of those two words through his brain, thought
-sharply asserted itself, keen and crystalline in retrospect. As a man
-brings all his life to God at the end, the Bishop looked into the
-Nazarene’s eyes from the picture of the little city that belonged to
-them both, whispering, “But those out there have been my own.”</p>
-
-<p>Presently the silvered head sank back in the sudden drowsiness that
-falls upon the very old, but even as he yielded to it, the Bishop’s
-eyelids flickered an instant. He looked again toward the Friend,
-forever clear against the curtained window. He lifted his right hand a
-little, like a child, not knowing how confident it was. Too tired and
-sleepy to be conscious of anything at all but that Presence that filled
-all the room, the Bishop murmured happily, “And I have not been lonely!”</p>
-
-<p>The Bishop did not actually doze off, however, but sat resting quietly
-in the peaceful borderland<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</span> of sleep. The threadbare house that
-harbored him was very silent. From time to time, across his dim worn
-face, fancies flickered, bright as a caged bird’s dreaming. Out of the
-engulfing vagueness of his brain, Annie came to him, the child-woman of
-long ago. His boat was rocking at the little pier waiting, as she came
-tripping down the terraces. He saw the upward sweep of the round young
-arms as she opened the high wrought-iron gate. She wore a white muslin
-sprigged with yellow, wide-skirted and flounced. The live brown of her
-hair was swept back into a net. Her face was soft olive and rose, her
-lips parted, and the eyes grave and steady, a child’s. On either side
-about the high black portals of the gate pulsed and flamed wee yellow
-roses. Slim, sturdy boy that he was, something had shaken him in that
-moment like a tossed leaf. Even now, old and dim in his chair, it was
-not the sense of her lips beneath his sudden ones that he remembered;
-it was that there in that instant he saw her eyes change forever to a
-woman’s. And the boy, all a-quiver with strong youth as he was, he,
-too, in that moment had changed into a man,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span> a man forever reverent
-before the mystery he had wakened. The Bishop’s hand tightened on the
-chair arm, for he remembered that at last, at last, Annie was coming
-back to him. He was waiting for her to come in.</p>
-
-<p>Again thought shifted many a year; and he sat expectant of a knock,
-light, imperative, merry, Nan’s evening knock. The door swung in and
-she entered, that tall, slim girl of his. She wore a white dress girt
-about in the absurd panniers of the eighties. Her dark hair was looped
-low at her neck. She had her mother’s brooding brown eyes lightened by
-her father’s twinkle. She sank on a hassock at his knee, folding her
-long figure up in a trick of grace she had.</p>
-
-<p>“Ready to hear a secret, father?”</p>
-
-<p>As on so many, many evenings, he was ready to hear a secret, the
-secrets a motherless girl may tell to her father. The Bishop remembered
-still one secret she had told him which had seemed to be a fine silk
-thread cutting his heart in two, for the father, listening, knew that
-the man Nan loved was not worthy of her. Then a tiny smile touched the
-worn old lips, a smile of pride, half-jealous,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span> at the memory that it
-was her father, not her husband, that Nan had first told about her
-little baby. The father’s blood, even now, beat faster at the thought
-of that remembered hope. Then again he saw the wee waxen form on Nan’s
-arm. But instantly mysterious glad expectancy swept that sight from
-him as he recalled that even now he was listening for Nan’s tap-tap at
-his study door, Nan, once more coming to tell him a secret, a secret
-blithe, unguessed.</p>
-
-<p>The house had ceased to be silent; there were movings, stirrings,
-voices, through it. They seemed to be without, on the stairs, and
-above, in the upper rooms. There were people on the stairs, mounting up
-and up on jocund feet. The Bishop heard it perfectly clear now, Annie’s
-voice from his bedroom overhead, “Up here, I’m up here, Hal!”</p>
-
-<p>But listen! There on the hallstair, that was surely a child he heard
-now! It was little Nan, chuckling and chattering as she climbed. It was
-her old merry challenge to her father to be out and after her as up she
-scampered. Yet no, that was not Nan, that merry call was a boy’s, a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</span>
-baby’s,—it was Nan’s baby-boy, who had just learned to go upstairs.
-The Bishop heard the small ecstatic feet, the slap of exultant little
-palms on each step achieved. And, like little Nan, the brave wee
-grandson meant the Bishop to follow him, as on he scurried, up and up,
-where the stairs were multiplied, were mounting, ever higher, higher.</p>
-
-<p>Again the sounds on the stair changed to other footfalls, lighter,
-firmer, surer, but like the others, very glad; fleet and pattering,
-pattering, spirit-light, the steps of the little Christ-Child, going
-home.</p>
-
-<p>A slight tremor ran through the length of the form seated there, silver
-and black. Suddenly all mist was wiped from the Bishop’s brain, leaving
-it clear. The Nazarene laid his hand on the window-sash, as if opening
-a door. “Rise!” He said, “Let us go forth into the morning.”</p>
-
-<p>Beyond the silent house, Westbury slept on, the star-lit, throbbing
-city, not knowing. The deep sleep of the earliest dawn held those three
-faces of the Bishop’s failure, sleep of victors, spent with struggle.
-In the morning they would<span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span> awaken, the three the Bishop had loved, to
-know! In the morning all Westbury would awaken, to know,—that there
-was only one way to love him now!</p>
-
-<p>In the house of each heart that must perforce hold his memory like a
-shrine, there could never be any chamber for hate. Through the gift of
-his three years’ presence should the grandmother hold to her breast her
-baby’s baby, until love, overflowing, should enfold that black-mooded
-woman, her son’s wife, and both, being mothers, should learn the way of
-peace by guiding there the little feet of a little child. This, himself
-all unwitting, should be the Bishop’s immortal gift.</p>
-
-<p>Even so, by divine largess of life given to life, should Murray Newbold
-become the Bishop’s spiritual son. Henceforth, always—instant,
-insistent—should the Bishop’s presence seem near him at every
-turning-point, compelling, as in the darkened study on that last day of
-all their days together.</p>
-
-<p>And the woman who had loved the boy, Henry Collinton, she, too,
-through his gift of a beauty<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span> steadfast to the end, should in the last
-brief years find ease of her lifelong hunger. In unspoken kinship of
-loneliness must they draw near now, the man and the woman who had
-walked closest to him, to rear together his last wish. Deathless as
-dream should rise the House of Friendship, for, passing, the Bishop
-had found the way to give himself. It is only a little city where he
-offered the chalice of his spirit, and only a little space his whole
-bishopric, yet all the world is richer for the gift of his Christmas
-soul.</p>
-
-<p>Westbury shall know now,—shining old face beneath the shabby hat,
-stooping old shoulders beneath the worn cape overcoat, spent old feet
-that walked these careless streets—Westbury shall know now, their
-Bishop, passed from them, their own forever.</p>
-
-<p>Yet these things the Bishop did not know, for God was showing him more
-beautiful things, even as all his life He had been showing him the
-things that are more beautiful than fulfilment. All happily he sat
-there in his old study chair, looking toward the eastward window.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</span></p>
-
-<p>His face had changed to a beauty of light. Gently on the chair arms
-rested the lean old hands, as very softly the gray room brightened at
-the coming of the dawn.</p>
-
-
-<p class="center p2">THE END</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter transnote">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_Notes">Transcriber’s Notes</h2>
-
-
-<p>Page <a href="#Page_93">93</a>: “that I did when” changed to “than I did when”</p>
-
-<p>Page <a href="#Page_115">115</a>: “Murry Newbold” changed to “Murray Newbold”</p>
-
-<p>Page <a href="#Page_126">126</a>: “vagueness and dulness” changed to “vagueness and dullness”</p>
-</div>
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CHRISTMAS BISHOP ***</div>
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