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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..331aea6 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #67498 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67498) diff --git a/old/67498-0.txt b/old/67498-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 36f289f..0000000 --- a/old/67498-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,664 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Round-Up Time, by Chester Cohen - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Round-Up Time - -Author: Chester Cohen - -Release Date: February 25, 2022 [eBook #67498] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND-UP TIME *** - - - - - - Round-Up Time - - By CHESTER COHEN - - Illustrated by GIUNTA - - _There was madness in Manhattan - when Queerpants came to town!_ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Infinity Science Fiction, June 1956. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -My wife don't believe me. That's why she made me come here, and I -don't think you're gonna believe me, either, but it's the God's honest -truth--and the money's mine. - -Hell, I wouldn't never steal. I know there's a lotta fellas in my fix -that do, but not me. I always been honest, and always got along okay. - -Excuse me, but are you takin' this down just the way I'm tellin' it? -Cuz I can't talk so good, ain't had much schoolin', and I want this -took down just like I'm tellin' it, cuz it's gonna he hard enough to -believe. - -Okay, thanks. - -The whole thing started yesterday mornin'. I went out early cuz my wife -was sick and I wanted to try and get as much as I could by myself, in -case there gonna be doctor bills. And it's a lot tougher goin' it -alone, counta my wife plays the banjo, and that's a big help. - -Well, the subway take on the way up from Brooklyn was pretty poor, so -I got off at Columbus Circle and headed for the Park. I figgered, it -bein' the Fourth of July holiday, there'd be pretty good pickin's there. - -But hell, I never figgered it was gonna be _that_ good! - -I had a little trouble gettin' acrost Fifty-ninth Street--you know, -where they been doin' all that diggin'?--and I took a bad spill there. -My crutches slipped on that damn gravel they got spread all over the -place. I don't usu'ly have trouble navigatin' that way, but this -mornin' I was still kinda sleepy and wasn't watchin' myself enough. - -Yeah, I went right on my ear--that's how I got this cut here. As if I -ain't had enough trouble there. - -This real nice guy come runnin' over and helps me up. He talked real -funny, sorta with his teeth, like. I couldn't make out a thing he said. -A furriner, I figgered. - -Then when we get to the curb, he takes off like a bat outta hell into -the park. That's when I noticed he was dressed kinda funny, too. Like -the creases on his pants was on the _sides_, and his jacket was on -backwards, and he didn't have no shoes on. Just some kinda floppy red -socks, it looked like, with a lotta yella tassels on 'em. - -Must be a character from the Village, I figgered. I seen a lotta queer -ducks down there in my time. - -Then I forgot about him, cuz I spotted a coupla young kids sittin' on -the stone bench near the gate, and they looked like a good touch. So I -dusts off my hat and gives 'em a try. - -But they was still lookin' pop-eyed towards the park where the funny -character went, and didn't give me a tumble atall. So I moved along -into the park, and to hell with 'em. - -There was only a coupla bums sleepin' on the benches near the gate, and -I went on up the grade and around the bend. It was slow goin' uphill, -and my leg was hurtin', but when I fin'ly got there, all the benches on -both sides of the walk was empty. - -I thought, Hell, I'm _too_ early. But I kept on goin', even though my -shoulders was startin' to hurt now. I didn't wanna grab a rest till I -took in a coupla bucks, at least. - -The ground levels off there, and it was easier goin', so I tried to get -up a little speed, rememberin' there was a place up ahead where people -always sit on the grass and get the sun. - -And all the way, the benches was empty and not a soul in sight -nowheres. I was thinkin' maybe there was some kinda celebratin' goin' -on and I oughta been goin' up towards the Mall. But I knew it was too -early for anythin' like that, so I kept on goin'. - -And a damn good thing I did. Cuz when I reached that big field--you -know, where the road cuts off?--there was a fair-sized crowd standin' -around there. - -They was all lookin' off towards the middle of the field. But I -couldn't make out from where I was what was goin' on, and I didn't care -much, anyways, cuz I don't care nothin' 'bout them parades and stuff. -So I just started makin' my rounds. - - * * * * * - -Well, it was the damndest thing I ever seen! All them people started -shellin' out soon as I came up to 'em--without even lookin' at me! I -thought I was gonna pass out right there, seein' all them green-backs -floppin' into my hat. - -One guy threw in wallet and all! - -Lookin' at these crazy people, I seen they was all talkin'. And they -looked like they was talkin' to theirselves, cuz nobody turned a head, -just kept starin', all glassy-eyed, like they was doped up. - -The old guy that threw in his whole wallet was sayin' somethin' -like: "This is the finest performance of scar-laddy I've ever heard. -Positively brilliant!" There was a skinny kid standin' next to the old -gent, and his lips was movin' fast. "Jeepers!" he was sayin', "real -dixieland." And his buddy was standin' there, tappin' his feet and -yellin', "_Hear_ that boogie beat! Man! That's Albert Ammons and Pete -Johnson at their best!" - -A little ways in, a fat guy, standin' on somebody's panama hat, says, -"Show-pan! I just _love_ show-pan." His big, flabby lips was slappin' -together hard. The big, chesty old lady with him had one o' them little -wrinkled-up mouths, and I could hardly make out what she was sayin', -cuz her lips didn't hardly move at all when she talked, but it was -somethin' like, "Chambah music, my deah. _So_ lovely." - -Ev'rybody's mouth was goin'--ev'rybody I looked at was sayin' somethin' -about music. And they all looked like they was havin' the time of their -life. - -And they kept right on shellin' out as I moved along through 'em! - -Then I gets to the edge of the crowd, and I spot what they're all -starin' at--it's nobody but my old friend, Queerpants, the nice guy -that helped me on Fifty-ninth Street when I took that spill! - -He's standin' out there in the middle o' the field with his back to -the crowd, wavin' his arms around like crazy. Looked just like he was -leadin' a band. Queerest thing I ever seen--cuz there ain't nothin' in -front o' him, exceptin' trees and grass. - -A coupla minutes later, he throws his hands down, like he's stoppin' -somethin', and then he turns around towards the crowd and bends over -real low. - -And the crowd goes nuts. Their mouths are wide open, screamin' and -yellin', and they're clappin' their hands like they was at a circus or -somethin'. - -Queerpants bends over a couple times more, then he swings around again, -sorta taps the air in front o' him, stretches his arms up over his head -for a second, and then starts slingin' 'em around again. - -Right away, everybody shuts their traps and goes to starin' again. -They all look like they been cryin'--but happy like. - -I'm standin' there, tryin' to figger how maybe it's some kinda gag, and -there's maybe a band hidin' back in the trees or somethin' like that, -when outta the corner o' my eye I spots this cop comin' towards me. - -I ducks back into the crowd real fast and starts stuffin' all the dough -into my pockets. Soon's the hat's empty, I takes a peek back through -the crowd, and there's the blue-coat, rockin' back on his heels with a -big grin spread on his fat face. - -This, I hadda see, so I moves over, real quiet like, and his mouth is -goin' like sixty. "It's the old Killarney," he's sayin', "Bejasus! -Oi've niver heard the like. Me poor old mither should be here now. God -_bless_ the man!" - -And all the time, the crowd's gettin' bigger and bigger. Cars stop -along the road, a couple people ride over on horses, two women with -baby carriages pushes in, and a big guy with glasses, carryin' about -ten books, drops them on the grass and starts clenchin' his fists. - -Now I see Queerpants is takin' a bow again, and ev'rybody's beatin' -their hands. - -All of a sudden, Queerpants jumps around and takes off towards the -woods, hoppin' across the grass like a rabbit, and wavin' his arms -around again as he goes. - -Lucky I'm on the outside, or I woulda been trampled. It was like -somebody yelled "Fire!" in a movie. The whole mob beats it across the -grass, knockin' into each other, ev'rybody tryin' to get ahead. - - * * * * * - -I let 'em go and went back to the sidewalk. I know where that woods -lets out; it leads right back to Central Park West, and it's the long -way around. I can easy beat 'em by goin' up the sidewalk. - -And I do. I'm already waitin' outside when Queerpants comes hoppin' out -with the whole mob runnin' after him. Looks like they picked up lots -more people on the way, cuz now there's hundreds followin' him. - -I damn near chokes when Queerpants jumps the red light. But traffic -just stops dead for him, brakes jammin' up and down the street for -about a mile. - -He's headin' straight crosstown towards the river, it looks like, and -I'm thinkin', damn, this I gotta see. But I can't figger no way to -catch up with 'em. - -Then I see the traffic on the other side of the street is startin' to -turn right in after the tail-end o' the mob. And the same thing starts -on my side, ev'rybody tryin' to go down that side street at the same -time. And ev'rybody punchin' their horns like crazy. - -About four cars down from where I'm standin', there's a taxi in the -line. So, neat as you please, I goes down, opens his door and climbs in. - -The cabby don't even see me. In his mirror, I can see his face is red -as a beet, and he's yellin' and cussin' and beatin' on his hornbutton. - -Well, I pulls the door shut and make myself comfy. Then, all of a -sudden, we start movin'. As we cut around the corner, I see how we got -our break--there's two cars locked bumpers in the other lane, holdin' -up the whole line. - -Now we're goin' straight crosstown at a pretty good clip. At Amsterdam, -we swing uptown, up a big hill, and when we get to the top, I can see -the crowd still racing along like mad. - -Way uptown, somewhere near a Hundred and Twenty-fifth, we turn west, -run down under the Express Highway, and end up in front of a beat-up -old dock. - -There's hundreds of cars parked all over the place with their doors -open and their engines runnin', and ev'rybody's racin' toward the river. - -My driver was out before the cab hardly stopped. It took me a little -while to get out. Then I had to be real careful navigatin' that old -wharf. It was full of holes and big cracks and piles of junk lyin' -around. - -Slow goin'. I was pretty beat by the time I reached the mob near the -end o' the wharf. - -They was two long lines of 'em, movin' along slow. Up ahead, they was -all goin' up a big red ramp that went up into the air off the dock and -into a great big thing that was hangin' in the air over the river. The -thing looked like a big banana made outta glass. - -When I got nearer, I could see right into the thing. - -Inside it, there was a lotta little stalls, and people was all crowdin' -into 'em, about four or five to a stall. As soon as they got in, a -kinda door dropped down and I couldn't see no way that they could get -out. - -But it didn't look like anybody was _tryin'_ to get out. - -There was a big round table in each stall, with a lotta food on 'em, -and the people was standin' around just eatin' like pigs in a sty. - -All the time I was watchin', people kept pilin' into the thing, lookin' -like they was singin' their heads off. Some was clappin' their hands -and throwin' their arms around, like they was doin' some kinda dance. - -For about an hour, people kept marchin' up that ramp, until fin'ly the -end of the line came, and they all got in--exceptin' the last one. A -real skinny old man with a cane. - -Just as he got up to the top of the ramp, the hole in the side of the -banana closed up, quick as a wink. - -All of a sudden, the thing starts to go straight up into the air, -leavin' the old man standin' there at the edge of the ramp, wavin' his -cane. - -Next thing the old man goes over the edge and drops into the river. - -The banana-lookin' thing keeps goin' up into the air, goin' faster and -faster, and shinin' like a mirror. Smaller and smaller it gets, and -then--bop--it's gone. - -Goin' back to the street, I was feelin' sick. It was like ev'rybody in -the world was crazy except me. I felt _lonesome_. - -And all those cars, parked ev'ry which-way, with their doors open and -their motors runnin'--it was real scary. - -Well, I got outta there as fast as I could go and took the subway home. -And my wife wouldn't believe me when she seen all that dough. - -But it's the truth, and I figger the only reason they didn't get me, -whoever they was, is because I'm stone-deaf and couldn't hear that -guy's funny music. - -Do I get to keep the money, Yer Honor? - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND-UP TIME *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Round-Up Time</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Chester Cohen</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 25, 2022 [eBook #67498]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND-UP TIME ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>Round-Up Time</h1> - -<h2>By CHESTER COHEN</h2> - -<p>Illustrated by GIUNTA</p> - -<p><i>There was madness in Manhattan<br /> -when Queerpants came to town!</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Infinity Science Fiction, June 1956.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>My wife don't believe me. That's why she made me come here, and I -don't think you're gonna believe me, either, but it's the God's honest -truth—and the money's mine.</p> - -<p>Hell, I wouldn't never steal. I know there's a lotta fellas in my fix -that do, but not me. I always been honest, and always got along okay.</p> - -<p>Excuse me, but are you takin' this down just the way I'm tellin' it? -Cuz I can't talk so good, ain't had much schoolin', and I want this -took down just like I'm tellin' it, cuz it's gonna he hard enough to -believe.</p> - -<p>Okay, thanks.</p> - -<p>The whole thing started yesterday mornin'. I went out early cuz my wife -was sick and I wanted to try and get as much as I could by myself, in -case there gonna be doctor bills. And it's a lot tougher goin' it -alone, counta my wife plays the banjo, and that's a big help.</p> - -<p>Well, the subway take on the way up from Brooklyn was pretty poor, so -I got off at Columbus Circle and headed for the Park. I figgered, it -bein' the Fourth of July holiday, there'd be pretty good pickin's there.</p> - -<p>But hell, I never figgered it was gonna be <i>that</i> good!</p> - -<p>I had a little trouble gettin' acrost Fifty-ninth Street—you know, -where they been doin' all that diggin'?—and I took a bad spill there. -My crutches slipped on that damn gravel they got spread all over the -place. I don't usu'ly have trouble navigatin' that way, but this -mornin' I was still kinda sleepy and wasn't watchin' myself enough.</p> - -<p>Yeah, I went right on my ear—that's how I got this cut here. As if I -ain't had enough trouble there.</p> - -<p>This real nice guy come runnin' over and helps me up. He talked real -funny, sorta with his teeth, like. I couldn't make out a thing he said. -A furriner, I figgered.</p> - -<p>Then when we get to the curb, he takes off like a bat outta hell into -the park. That's when I noticed he was dressed kinda funny, too. Like -the creases on his pants was on the <i>sides</i>, and his jacket was on -backwards, and he didn't have no shoes on. Just some kinda floppy red -socks, it looked like, with a lotta yella tassels on 'em.</p> - -<p>Must be a character from the Village, I figgered. I seen a lotta queer -ducks down there in my time.</p> - -<p>Then I forgot about him, cuz I spotted a coupla young kids sittin' on -the stone bench near the gate, and they looked like a good touch. So I -dusts off my hat and gives 'em a try.</p> - -<p>But they was still lookin' pop-eyed towards the park where the funny -character went, and didn't give me a tumble atall. So I moved along -into the park, and to hell with 'em.</p> - -<p>There was only a coupla bums sleepin' on the benches near the gate, and -I went on up the grade and around the bend. It was slow goin' uphill, -and my leg was hurtin', but when I fin'ly got there, all the benches on -both sides of the walk was empty.</p> - -<p>I thought, Hell, I'm <i>too</i> early. But I kept on goin', even though my -shoulders was startin' to hurt now. I didn't wanna grab a rest till I -took in a coupla bucks, at least.</p> - -<p>The ground levels off there, and it was easier goin', so I tried to get -up a little speed, rememberin' there was a place up ahead where people -always sit on the grass and get the sun.</p> - -<p>And all the way, the benches was empty and not a soul in sight -nowheres. I was thinkin' maybe there was some kinda celebratin' goin' -on and I oughta been goin' up towards the Mall. But I knew it was too -early for anythin' like that, so I kept on goin'.</p> - -<p>And a damn good thing I did. Cuz when I reached that big field—you -know, where the road cuts off?—there was a fair-sized crowd standin' -around there.</p> - -<p>They was all lookin' off towards the middle of the field. But I -couldn't make out from where I was what was goin' on, and I didn't care -much, anyways, cuz I don't care nothin' 'bout them parades and stuff. -So I just started makin' my rounds.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Well, it was the damndest thing I ever seen! All them people started -shellin' out soon as I came up to 'em—without even lookin' at me! I -thought I was gonna pass out right there, seein' all them green-backs -floppin' into my hat.</p> - -<p>One guy threw in wallet and all!</p> - -<p>Lookin' at these crazy people, I seen they was all talkin'. And they -looked like they was talkin' to theirselves, cuz nobody turned a head, -just kept starin', all glassy-eyed, like they was doped up.</p> - -<p>The old guy that threw in his whole wallet was sayin' somethin' -like: "This is the finest performance of scar-laddy I've ever heard. -Positively brilliant!" There was a skinny kid standin' next to the old -gent, and his lips was movin' fast. "Jeepers!" he was sayin', "real -dixieland." And his buddy was standin' there, tappin' his feet and -yellin', "<i>Hear</i> that boogie beat! Man! That's Albert Ammons and Pete -Johnson at their best!"</p> - -<p>A little ways in, a fat guy, standin' on somebody's panama hat, says, -"Show-pan! I just <i>love</i> show-pan." His big, flabby lips was slappin' -together hard. The big, chesty old lady with him had one o' them little -wrinkled-up mouths, and I could hardly make out what she was sayin', -cuz her lips didn't hardly move at all when she talked, but it was -somethin' like, "Chambah music, my deah. <i>So</i> lovely."</p> - -<p>Ev'rybody's mouth was goin'—ev'rybody I looked at was sayin' somethin' -about music. And they all looked like they was havin' the time of their -life.</p> - -<p>And they kept right on shellin' out as I moved along through 'em!</p> - -<p>Then I gets to the edge of the crowd, and I spot what they're all -starin' at—it's nobody but my old friend, Queerpants, the nice guy -that helped me on Fifty-ninth Street when I took that spill!</p> - -<p>He's standin' out there in the middle o' the field with his back to -the crowd, wavin' his arms around like crazy. Looked just like he was -leadin' a band. Queerest thing I ever seen—cuz there ain't nothin' in -front o' him, exceptin' trees and grass.</p> - -<p>A coupla minutes later, he throws his hands down, like he's stoppin' -somethin', and then he turns around towards the crowd and bends over -real low.</p> - -<p>And the crowd goes nuts. Their mouths are wide open, screamin' and -yellin', and they're clappin' their hands like they was at a circus or -somethin'.</p> - -<p>Queerpants bends over a couple times more, then he swings around again, -sorta taps the air in front o' him, stretches his arms up over his head -for a second, and then starts slingin' 'em around again.</p> - -<p>Right away, everybody shuts their traps and goes to starin' again. -They all look like they been cryin'—but happy like.</p> - -<p>I'm standin' there, tryin' to figger how maybe it's some kinda gag, and -there's maybe a band hidin' back in the trees or somethin' like that, -when outta the corner o' my eye I spots this cop comin' towards me.</p> - -<p>I ducks back into the crowd real fast and starts stuffin' all the dough -into my pockets. Soon's the hat's empty, I takes a peek back through -the crowd, and there's the blue-coat, rockin' back on his heels with a -big grin spread on his fat face.</p> - -<p>This, I hadda see, so I moves over, real quiet like, and his mouth is -goin' like sixty. "It's the old Killarney," he's sayin', "Bejasus! -Oi've niver heard the like. Me poor old mither should be here now. God -<i>bless</i> the man!"</p> - -<p>And all the time, the crowd's gettin' bigger and bigger. Cars stop -along the road, a couple people ride over on horses, two women with -baby carriages pushes in, and a big guy with glasses, carryin' about -ten books, drops them on the grass and starts clenchin' his fists.</p> - -<p>Now I see Queerpants is takin' a bow again, and ev'rybody's beatin' -their hands.</p> - -<p>All of a sudden, Queerpants jumps around and takes off towards the -woods, hoppin' across the grass like a rabbit, and wavin' his arms -around again as he goes.</p> - -<p>Lucky I'm on the outside, or I woulda been trampled. It was like -somebody yelled "Fire!" in a movie. The whole mob beats it across the -grass, knockin' into each other, ev'rybody tryin' to get ahead.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I let 'em go and went back to the sidewalk. I know where that woods -lets out; it leads right back to Central Park West, and it's the long -way around. I can easy beat 'em by goin' up the sidewalk.</p> - -<p>And I do. I'm already waitin' outside when Queerpants comes hoppin' out -with the whole mob runnin' after him. Looks like they picked up lots -more people on the way, cuz now there's hundreds followin' him.</p> - -<p>I damn near chokes when Queerpants jumps the red light. But traffic -just stops dead for him, brakes jammin' up and down the street for -about a mile.</p> - -<p>He's headin' straight crosstown towards the river, it looks like, and -I'm thinkin', damn, this I gotta see. But I can't figger no way to -catch up with 'em.</p> - -<p>Then I see the traffic on the other side of the street is startin' to -turn right in after the tail-end o' the mob. And the same thing starts -on my side, ev'rybody tryin' to go down that side street at the same -time. And ev'rybody punchin' their horns like crazy.</p> - -<p>About four cars down from where I'm standin', there's a taxi in the -line. So, neat as you please, I goes down, opens his door and climbs in.</p> - -<p>The cabby don't even see me. In his mirror, I can see his face is red -as a beet, and he's yellin' and cussin' and beatin' on his hornbutton.</p> - -<p>Well, I pulls the door shut and make myself comfy. Then, all of a -sudden, we start movin'. As we cut around the corner, I see how we got -our break—there's two cars locked bumpers in the other lane, holdin' -up the whole line.</p> - -<p>Now we're goin' straight crosstown at a pretty good clip. At Amsterdam, -we swing uptown, up a big hill, and when we get to the top, I can see -the crowd still racing along like mad.</p> - -<p>Way uptown, somewhere near a Hundred and Twenty-fifth, we turn west, -run down under the Express Highway, and end up in front of a beat-up -old dock.</p> - -<p>There's hundreds of cars parked all over the place with their doors -open and their engines runnin', and ev'rybody's racin' toward the river.</p> - -<p>My driver was out before the cab hardly stopped. It took me a little -while to get out. Then I had to be real careful navigatin' that old -wharf. It was full of holes and big cracks and piles of junk lyin' -around.</p> - -<p>Slow goin'. I was pretty beat by the time I reached the mob near the -end o' the wharf.</p> - -<p>They was two long lines of 'em, movin' along slow. Up ahead, they was -all goin' up a big red ramp that went up into the air off the dock and -into a great big thing that was hangin' in the air over the river. The -thing looked like a big banana made outta glass.</p> - -<p>When I got nearer, I could see right into the thing.</p> - -<p>Inside it, there was a lotta little stalls, and people was all crowdin' -into 'em, about four or five to a stall. As soon as they got in, a -kinda door dropped down and I couldn't see no way that they could get -out.</p> - -<p>But it didn't look like anybody was <i>tryin'</i> to get out.</p> - -<p>There was a big round table in each stall, with a lotta food on 'em, -and the people was standin' around just eatin' like pigs in a sty.</p> - -<p>All the time I was watchin', people kept pilin' into the thing, lookin' -like they was singin' their heads off. Some was clappin' their hands -and throwin' their arms around, like they was doin' some kinda dance.</p> - -<p>For about an hour, people kept marchin' up that ramp, until fin'ly the -end of the line came, and they all got in—exceptin' the last one. A -real skinny old man with a cane.</p> - -<p>Just as he got up to the top of the ramp, the hole in the side of the -banana closed up, quick as a wink.</p> - -<p>All of a sudden, the thing starts to go straight up into the air, -leavin' the old man standin' there at the edge of the ramp, wavin' his -cane.</p> - -<p>Next thing the old man goes over the edge and drops into the river.</p> - -<p>The banana-lookin' thing keeps goin' up into the air, goin' faster and -faster, and shinin' like a mirror. Smaller and smaller it gets, and -then—bop—it's gone.</p> - -<p>Goin' back to the street, I was feelin' sick. It was like ev'rybody in -the world was crazy except me. I felt <i>lonesome</i>.</p> - -<p>And all those cars, parked ev'ry which-way, with their doors open and -their motors runnin'—it was real scary.</p> - -<p>Well, I got outta there as fast as I could go and took the subway home. -And my wife wouldn't believe me when she seen all that dough.</p> - -<p>But it's the truth, and I figger the only reason they didn't get me, -whoever they was, is because I'm stone-deaf and couldn't hear that -guy's funny music.</p> - -<p>Do I get to keep the money, Yer Honor?</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUND-UP TIME ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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