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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #67364 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67364)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Likely Story, by Damon Knight
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: A Likely Story
-
-Author: Damon Knight
-
-Release Date: February 9, 2022 [eBook #67364]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A LIKELY STORY ***
-
-
-
-
-
- _If you discovered a fantastic power
- like this, you'd use it benevolently,
- for the good of the entire human
- race--wouldn't you?_ Sure _you would_!
-
- a likely story
-
- By DAMON KNIGHT
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Infinity Science Fiction, February 1956.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-That was the damnedest December I ever saw in New York. Whatever the
-weather is, Manhattan _always_ gets the worst of it--frying hot in
-summer, snow or slush up to your ankles in winter--and all along the
-seaboard, it was a mean season. Coming in from Pennsylvania the day
-before, we'd been held up twice while the tracks were cleared. But when
-I stepped out of the hotel that night, the Saturday after Christmas,
-it was like a mild October; the air was just cool, with a fresh hint
-of snow in it. There was a little slush in the gutters, not much; the
-pavements were dry.
-
-I was late, or I would have gone back and ditched the rubbers; I
-hate the foolish things to begin with, one reason I moved to the
-country--out there, I wear house slippers half the year, galoshes the
-rest; there's no in-between. I took off my gloves, opened my scarf,
-and breathed deep lungfuls while I walked to the corner for a cab. I
-began to wonder if it had been smart to move 90 miles out of town just
-because I didn't like rubbers.
-
-The streets didn't seem overcrowded. I got a cab without any trouble.
-Nobody was hurrying; it was as if the whole population was sitting
-peacefully at home or in some bar, in no rush to be anywhere else.
-
-"Listen," I said to the cabbie, "this is still New York, isn't it?"
-
-He jerked his chin at me. "Hah?"
-
-"Where's the crowds?" I said. "Where's the rotten weather? What
-happened?"
-
-He nodded. "I know whatcha mean. Sure is funny. Crazy weather."
-
-"Well, when did this happen?"
-
-"Hah?"
-
-"I said, how long has this been going on?"
-
-"Cleared up about three o'clock. I looked out the winda, and the sun
-was shinin'. Jeez! You know what I think?"
-
-"You think it's them atom bombs," I told him.
-
-"That's right. You know what I think, I think it's them _atom_ bombs."
-He pulled up opposite a canopy and folded down his flag.
-
-In the lobby, I found an arrow-shaped sign that said, "MEDUSA CLUB."
-
-The Medusa Club is, loosely speaking, an association for professional
-science fiction writers. No two of them will agree on what science
-fiction is--or on anything else--but they all write it, or have
-written it, or pretend they can write it, or something. They have three
-kinds of meetings, or two and a half. One is for club politics, one is
-for drinking, and the third is also for drinking, only more so. As a
-rule, they meet in people's apartments, usually Preacher Flatt's or Ray
-Alvarez', but every year at this time they rent a hotel ballroom and
-throw a whingding. I'm a member in bad standing; the last time I paid
-my dues was in 1950.
-
-Rod Pfehl (the P is silent, as in Psmith) was standing in the doorway,
-drunk, with a wad of dollar bills in his hand. "I'm the treasurer," he
-said happily. "Gimme." Either he was the treasurer, or he had conned
-a lot of people into thinking so. I paid him and started zigzagging
-slowly across the floor, trading hellos, looking for liquor.
-
-Tom Q. Jones went by in a hurry, carrying a big camera. That was
-unusual; Tom Q. is head components designer for a leading radio-TV
-manufacturer, and has sold, I guess, about two million words of science
-fiction, but this was the first time I had ever seen him in motion,
-or with anything but a highball in his hand. I spotted Punchy Carrol,
-nut-brown in a red dress; and Duchamp biting his pipe; and Leigh
-MacKean with her pale protoNordic face, as wistful and fey as the
-White Knight's; and there was a fan named Harry Somebody, nervously
-adjusting his hornrims as he peered across the room; and, this being
-the Christmas Party, there were a lot of the strangest faces on earth.
-
-Most of them were probably friends of friends, but you never knew;
-one time there had been a quiet banker-type man at a Medusa meeting,
-sitting in a corner and not saying much, who turned out to be Dorrance
-Canning, an old idol of mine; he wrote the "Woman Who Slept" series
-and other gorgeous stuff before I was out of knee pants.
-
-There were two blue-jacketed bartenders, and the drinks were
-eighty-five cents. Another reason I moved to the country is that the
-amusements are cheaper. Nursing my collins, I steered around two broad
-rumps in flounced satin and ran into Tom Q. He snapped a flashbulb in
-my face, chortled something, and went away while I was still dazzled.
-Somebody else with a lemon-colored spot for a head shook my left hand
-and muttered at me, but I wasn't listening; I had just figured out that
-what Tom had said, was, "There's no _film_ in it!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Somebody fell down on the waxed floor; there was a little flurry of
-screams and laughter. I found myself being joggled, and managed to
-put away an inch of the collins to save it. Then I thought I saw Art
-Greymbergen, my favorite publisher, but before I could get anywhere
-near him Carrol's clear Sunday-school voice began calling, "The program
-is about to begin--please take your seats!" and a moment later people
-were moving sluggishly through the bar archway.
-
-I looked at my watch, then hauled out my copy of the little
-mimeographed sheet, full of earnest jocularity, that the club sent out
-every year to announce the Party. It said that the program would begin
-somewhere around 10, and it was that now.
-
-This was impossible. The program always pivoted on Bill Plass, and Bill
-never got there, or anywhere, until the party was due to break up.
-
-But I looked when I got down near the bandstand, and by God there he
-was, half as large as life, gesturing, flashing his Charlie Chaplin
-grin, teetering like a nervous firewalker. He saw me and waved hello,
-and then went on talking to Asa Akimisov, Ph.D. (A-K-I-M-I-S-O-V,
-please, and never mind the Akimesian, or Akimsiov.)
-
-Maybe it _was_ them atom bombs, I found a vacant folding chair with
-a good view of the platform, and a better one of a striking brunette
-in blue. Akimisov got up on the platform, with his neck sticking out
-of his collar like a potted palm (he had lost forty pounds, again)
-and began telling jokes. Ace is the second funniest man in Medusa,
-the first being Plass; the peculiar thing is that Plass writes humor
-professionally, and delivers his annual set-pieces the same way--the
-rest of the time he is merely a perfectly fascinating morbid wit--but
-Akimisov, who writes nothing but the most heavily thoughtful fiction
-in the business, bubbles with humor all the time, a poor man's Sam
-Levenson. I was going to write an article once proving that a writer's
-personality on paper was his real one turned inside out, but I fell
-afoul of some exceptions. Like Tom Q., who was still flashing his bulbs
-over at the side of the platform, and being noisily suppressed--you
-could paper him all over with his published stories, and never know the
-difference.
-
-The program was good, even for Medusa. Ned Burgeon, wearing a sky-blue
-dinner jacket and a pepper-and-salt goatee, played his famous
-twenty-one-string guitar; a dark-haired girl, a new one to me, sang in
-a sweet, strong contralto; there was a skit involving Punchy Carrol as
-a dream-beast, L. Vague Duchamp as a bewildered spaceman, and B. U.
-Jadrys, the All-Lithuanian Boy, as a ticket agent for the Long Island
-Railroad. Then came Plass's annual monologue, and there is just nothing
-like those. I'm not exaggerating out of parochial pride (once a year
-is enough Medusa for me): the simple truth is that Plass is a comic
-genius.
-
-He had his audience laid out flat, gasping and clutching its sides. Why
-should a man like that waste his time writing fiction?
-
-Toward the end he paused, looked up from his notes, and ad-libbed a
-biting but not very funny wisecrack about--well, I'd better not say
-about what. A certain member in the audience stiffened and half got
-up, and there was a little embarrassed murmur under the laughter, but
-it was over in a minute. Bill looked flustered. He went back to his
-prepared speech, finished, and got a roar of applause.
-
-I did my share, but I was worried. Bill can charm the rattles off
-a snake; if he wanted to go in for quack-doctoring, nut cultism or
-Canadian mining stock, let alone night-club comedy, he could be a
-millionaire. That _gaffe_ simply hadn't been like him, at all. Still,
-it was Bill's Dostoevskian soul that made him the funny man he was, and
-God only knew what had been happening to him in the year since I'd been
-in town....
-
-Akimisov, as m.c., delivered the final words. He bowed, straightened,
-and his pants fell down.
-
-In the dressing room, when I got back there, Bill was busy apologizing
-to the member on whose toes he had trodden--that apology would have
-soothed a tiger with a toothache--and Akimisov, with a bewildered
-expression, was holding up his pants. That was what I was curious
-about; it was another false note--I didn't think Ace would stoop that
-low for a laugh. The pants were too big for him, of course, but Ace had
-always struck me as the kind of guy who wears a belt _and_ suspenders.
-
-He did; but the tongue had come out of the belt-buckle, and all the
-suspenders buttons had popped, all at once. Scouts were being sent out
-to look for a belt that would fit.
-
-I wandered out into the hall again. I was beginning to get a peculiar
-feeling on one drink. Too many fresh vegetables; I can't take it like
-I used to. So I went to the bar and got another.
-
-When I came out, the brunette in the blue evening gown was standing
-near the doorway listening to Larry Bagsby. Next thing I knew, she let
-out a whoop, grabbed her bosom, and fetched Larry a good one on the
-ear. This was unfair. I was a witness, and Larry hadn't done a thing
-except look; her overworked shoulder straps had simply given way, like
-Akimisov's suspenders.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Curiouser and curiouser.... The noises around me were picking up in
-volume and tempo, for all the world like a dancehall scene in a Western
-movie, just before somebody throws the first table. There was a thud
-and a screech off to my right; I gathered that somebody else had fallen
-down. Then a tinkle of bursting glass, and another little chorus of
-shouts, and then another thud. It went on like that. The crowd was on
-the move, in no particular direction; everybody was asking everybody
-else what was going on.
-
-I felt the same way, so I went looking for Ray Alvarez; you can always
-count on him to tell you the answer, or make one up.
-
-Tom Q. went by, flashing that camera, and it wasn't till the mob had
-swallowed him that I realized he wasn't replacing the bulb between
-shots--the same one was blazing over and over.
-
-Well, a few years ago it was silly putty; the year before that,
-Diarrhetics. This year, everlasting flash bulbs--and no film in the
-camera.
-
-Ned Burgeon passed me, his grin tilting his whiskers dangerously near
-the lighted stub in his cigarette holder; he was carrying the guitar
-case as if he were wading ashore with it. I saw Duchamp off to one
-side, talking to somebody, gesturing emphatically with his pipe.
-
-It isn't so, but occasionally you get the impression that science
-fiction writers are either very tall or very short. I watched H. Drene
-Pfeiffer stilt by, Ray Bolgerish in an astonishing skin-tight suit of
-horseblanket plaid, followed by Will Kubatius and the _heldentenor_
-bulk of Don W. Gamble, Jr. I lowered my sights. Sandwiched between the
-giants there ought to have been half a dozen people I'd have been glad
-to see--if not Alvarez, then Bill Plass or his brother Horty; or Jerry
-Thaw; Bagsby; Preacher Flatt, who looks too much like a marmoset to
-be true.... But no: down on those lower levels there was nobody but an
-eleven-year-old boy who had got in by mistake, and the ubiquitous fan,
-Harry _You_-Know, the one with the glasses and all that hair. I tacked,
-veering slightly, and beat across the room the other way.
-
-There was another crash of glass, a _big_ one, and a louder chorus of
-yells. It wasn't all automatic female shrieks, this time; I caught a
-couple of male voices, raised in unmistakable anger.
-
-The crowd was thinning out a little; droves of friends of friends
-appeared to be heading for the coat room. Across one of the clear
-spaces came a pretty blonde, looking apprehensive. In a minute I
-saw why. Her skirt billowed out around her suddenly and she yelled,
-crouched, holding the cloth down with both hands, then sunfished away
-into the crowd. A moment later the same thing happened to a tall
-brown-haired girl over to my left.
-
-That was too much. Glancing up, I happened to see the big cut-glass
-chandelier begin swaying gently from side to side, jingling faintly,
-working up momentum. I moved faster, buttonholing everyone I knew:
-"Have you seen Ray? Have you seen Ray?"
-
-I heard my name, and there he was, standing like stout Cortez atop the
-piano, where he could see the whole room like an anthill. I climbed up
-beside him. Alvarez, to quote Duchamp's description, is a small rumpled
-man with an air of sleepy good-nature. This is apt until you get close
-to him, when you discover he is about as sleepy as a hungry catamount.
-"Hi," he said, with a sidewise glance.
-
-"Hi. What do you think's doing it?"
-
-"It could be," said Ray, speaking firmly and rapidly, "a local
-discontinuity in the four-dimensional plenum that we're passing
-through. Or it could be poltergeists--that's perfectly possible, you
-know." He gave me a look, daring me to deny it.
-
-"You think so?"
-
-"It _could_ be."
-
-"By golly, I believe you're right," I said. This is the only way to
-handle Alvarez when he talks nonsense. If you give him the slightest
-degree of resistance, he will argue along the same line till doomsday,
-just to prove he can.
-
-"Mmm," he said thoughtfully, screwing up his face. "No, I
-don't--think--so."
-
-"No?"
-
-"No," he said positively. "You notice how the thing seems to travel
-around the room?" He nodded to a fist fight that was breaking out a
-few yards from us, and then to a goosed girl leaping over by the bar
-entrance. "There's a kind of irregular rhythm to it." He moved his
-hand, illustrating. "One thing happens--then another thing--now here it
-comes around this way again--"
-
-A fat friend of a friend and her husband backed up against the platform
-just below us, quivering. There was something wrong with my fingers;
-they felt warm. The collins glass was turning warm. Warm, _hell_--I
-yelped and dropped it, sucking my fingers. The glass looped and fell
-neatly on the flowered hat of the friend of a friend, and liquid
-splattered. The woman hooted like a peanut whistle. She whirled,
-slipped in the puddle and lurched off into the arms of a hairy authors'
-agent. Her husband dithered after her a couple of steps, then came back
-with blood in his eye. He got up as far as the piano stool when, as far
-as I could make out, his pants split up the back and he climbed down
-again, glaring and clutching himself.
-
-"Now it's over in the middle," said Ray imperturbably. "It _might_
-be poltergeists, I won't say it isn't. But I've got a hunch there's
-another answer, actually."
-
-I said something dubious. A hotel-manager-looking kind of a man had
-just come in and was looking wildly around. Punchy Carrol went up to
-him, staring him respectfully right in the eye, talking a quiet six to
-his dozen. After a moment he gave up and listened. I've known Punchy
-ever since she was a puppy-eyed greenhorn from Philadelphia, and I
-don't underestimate her any more. I knew the manager-type would go away
-and not call any cops--at least for a while.
-
-I glanced down at the floor, and then looked again. There were little
-flat chips of ice scattered in the wetness. That could have been from
-the ice cubes; but there was _frost_ on some of the pieces of glass.
-
-_Hot on the bottom, cold on top!_
-
-"Ray," I said, "something's buzzing around in my mind. Maxwell's
-demon." I pointed to the frosted bits of glass. "That might--No, I'm
-wrong, that couldn't account for all these--"
-
-He took it all in in one look. "Yes, it could!" he snapped. His
-cat-eyes gleamed at me. "Maxwell had the theory of the perfect heat
-pump--it would work if you could only find a so-called demon, about the
-size of a molecule, that would bat all the hot molecules one way, and
-all the cold ones the other."
-
-"I know," I said, "But--"
-
-"Okay, I'm just explaining it to you."
-
-What he told me was what I was thinking: Our unidentified friend had
-some way of changing probability levels. I mean, all the molecules of
-air under a woman's skirt _could_ suddenly decide to move in the same
-direction--or all the molecules in a patch of flooring _could_ lose
-their surface friction--it just wasn't likely. If you could _make_ it
-likely--there wasn't any limit. You could make honest dice turn up a
-thousand sevens in a row. You could run a car without an engine; make
-rain or fair weather; reduce the crime index to zero; keep a demagogue
-from getting re-elected....
-
-Well, if all that was true, I wanted in. And I didn't have the ghost
-of a chance--I was out of touch; I didn't know anybody. Ray knew
-everybody.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"Spread out, folks!" said a bullhorn voice. It was Samwitz, of course,
-standing on a bench at the far wall. Kosmo Samwitz, the Flushing
-Nightingale; not one of the Medusa crowd, usually--a nice enough guy,
-and a hard-working committeeman, but the ordinary Manhattan meeting
-hall isn't big enough to hold his voice. "Spread out--make an equal
-distance between you. That way we can't get into any fights." People
-started following his orders, partly because they made sense, partly
-because, otherwise, he'd go on bellowing.
-
-"That's good--that's good," said Samwitz. "All right, this meeting is
-hereby called to order. The chair will entertain suggestions about what
-the nature of these here phenomenon are...."
-
-Ray showed signs of wanting to get down and join the caucus; he loves
-parliamentary procedure better than life itself; so I said hastily,
-"Let's get down with the crowd, Ray. We can't see much better up here,
-anyway."
-
-He stiffened. "You go if you want to," he said quietly. "I'm staying
-here, where I can keep an eye on things."
-
-The chandelier was now describing stately circles, causing a good
-deal of ducking and confusion, but the meeting was getting on with its
-business, namely, arguing about whether to confirm Kosmo by acclamation
-or nominate and elect a chairman in the usual way. That subject, I
-figured, was good for at least twenty minutes. I said, "Ray, will you
-tell me the truth if I ask you something?"
-
-"Maybe." He grinned.
-
-"Are you doing this?"
-
-He threw his head back and chuckled, "No-o, I'm not doing it." He
-looked at me shrewdly, still grinning. "Is that why you were looking
-for me?"
-
-I admitted it humbly. "It was just a foolish idea," I said. "Nobody we
-know could possibly--"
-
-"_I_ don't know about that," he said, squinting thoughtfully.
-
-"Ah, come on, Ray."
-
-He was affronted. "Why not? We've got some pretty good scientific
-brains in Medusa, you know. There's Gamble--he's an atomic physicist.
-There's Don Bierce; there's Duchamp; there's--"
-
-"I know," I said, "I know, but where would any of them have got hold of
-a thing like _this_?"
-
-"They could have invented it," he said stoutly.
-
-"You mean like Balmer and Phog Relapse running the Michelson experiment
-in their cellar, and making it come out that there _is_ an ether drift,
-only it's _down_?"
-
-He bristled. "No, I certainly don't--"
-
-"Or like Lobbard discovering Scatiology?"
-
-"Ptah! No! Like Watt, like Edison, Galileo--" He thumbed down three
-fingers emphatically. "--Goodyear, Morse, Whitney--"
-
-Down below, the meeting had taken less than five minutes to confirm
-Samwitz as chairman. I think the chandelier helped; they ought to
-install one of those in every parliamentary chamber.
-
-The chair recognized Punchy, who said sweetly that the first order
-of business ought to be to get opinions from the people who knew
-something, beginning with Werner Kley.
-
-Werner accordingly made a very charming speech, full of Teutonic
-rumbles, the essence of which was that he didn't know any more about
-this than a rabbit. He suggested, however, that pictures should be
-taken. There was a chorus of "Tom!" and Jones staggered forward with
-his war-cry: "There isn't any _film_ in it!"
-
-Somebody was dispatched to get film; somebody else trotted out to
-telephone for reporters and cameramen, and three or four other people
-headed in a businesslike way for the men's room.
-
-Ray was simultaneously trying to get the chair's attention and
-explaining to me, in staccato asides, how many epochal inventions had
-been made by amateurs in attic workshops. I said--and this was really
-bothering me--"But look: do you see anybody with any kind of a gadget?
-How's he going to hide it? How's he going to focus it, or whatever?"
-
-Ray snorted. "It might be hidden in almost anything. Burgeon's
-guitar--Gamble's briefcase--Mr. Chairman!"
-
-Duchamp was talking, but I could feel it in my bones that Samwitz was
-going to get around to Ray next. I leaned closer. "Ray, listen--a thing
-like this--they wouldn't keep it to themselves, would they?"
-
-"Why not? Wouldn't you--for a while, anyway?" He gave me his bobcat
-grin. "I can think of quite--a--few things I could do, if I had it."
-
-So could I; that was the whole point. I said, "Yeah. I was hoping
-we could spot him, before the crowd does." I sighed. "Fat chance, I
-suppose."
-
-He gave me another side-long look. "That shouldn't be so hard," he
-drawled.
-
-"You _know_ who it is?"
-
-He put on his most infuriating grin, peering to see how I took it.
-"I've, got, a few, ideas."
-
-"Who?"
-
-Wrong question. He shook his head with a that-would-be-telling look.
-
-Somebody across the room went down with a crash; then somebody else.
-"Sit on the floor!" Ray shouted, and they all did it, squatting
-cautiously like old ladies at a picnic. The meeting gathered speed
-again.
-
-I looked apprehensively at the narrow piano top we were standing on,
-and sat down with my legs hanging over. Ray stayed where he was,
-defying the elements to do their worst.
-
-"You know, all right," I said, looking up at him, "but you're keeping
-it to yourself." I shrugged. "Well, why shouldn't you?"
-
-"O-kay," he said good-naturedly. "Let's figure it out. Where were you
-when it started?"
-
-"In the bar."
-
-"Who else was there? Try to remember exact-ly."
-
-I thought. "Art Greymbergen. Fred Balester. Gamble was there--"
-
-"Okay, that eliminates him--and you, incidentally--because it started
-in here. Right, so far?"
-
-"Right!"
-
-"Hmmm. Something happened _to_ Akimisov."
-
-"And Plass--that booboo he made?"
-
-Ray dismissed Plass with a gesture. He was looking a little restive;
-another debate was under way down below, with Punchy and Leigh MacKean
-vociferously presenting the case for psychokinesis, and being expertly
-heckled by owlish little M. C. (Hotfoot) Burncloth's echo-chamber
-voice. "It's too much," I said quickly. "There's too many of them left.
-We'll never--"
-
-"It's perfectly simple!" Ray said incisively. He counted on his fingers
-again. "Burgeon--Kley--Duchamp--Bierce--Burncloth--MacKean--Jibless.
-Eight people."
-
-"One of the visitors?" I objected.
-
-He shook his head. "I know who all these people are, generally," he
-said. "It's got to be one of those eight. I'll take Kley, Bierce,
-Jibless and MacKean--you watch the other four. Sooner or later they'll
-give themselves away."
-
-I had _been_ watching. I did it some more.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A wave of neck-clutching passed over the crowd. Cold breezes, I expect.
-Or hot ones, in some cases. Tom Jones leaped up with a cry and sat down
-again abruptly.
-
-"Did you see anything?" Ray asked.
-
-I shook my head. Where, I wondered, was the good old science fiction
-cameraderie? If I'd been the lucky one, I would have let the crowd
-in--well, a few of them, anyway--given them jobs and palaces and
-things. Not that they would have been grateful, probably, the
-treacherous, undependable, neurotic bums....
-
-They were looking nervous now. There had been that little burst of
-activity after a long pause (even the chandelier seemed to be swinging
-slowly to rest), and now the--call it the stillness--was more than they
-could stand. I felt it, too: that building up of tension. Whoever it
-was, was getting tired of little things.
-
-A horrible jangling welled out of Burgeon's guitar case; it sounded
-like a bull banjo with the heaves. Ned jumped, dropped his cigarette
-holder, got the case open and I guess put his hand on the strings; the
-noise stopped. That eliminated him ... or did it?
-
-Take it another way. What would the guy have to be like who would waste
-a marvel like this on schoolboy pranks at a Medusa Christmas party? Not
-Jibless, I thought--he abominates practical jokers. Bierce didn't seem
-to be the type, either, although you could never tell; the damnedest
-wry stories get hatched occasionally in that lean ecclesiastic skull.
-Duchamp was too staid (but was I sure?); MacKean was an enigma. Gamble?
-Just maybe. Burgeon? Jones? It could be either, I thought, but I
-wasn't satisfied.
-
-I glanced at Ray again, and mentally crossed him off for the second or
-third time. Ray's an honorable man, within his own complicated set of
-rules; he might mislead me, with pleasure, but he wouldn't give me the
-lie direct.
-
-But I had the feeling that the answer was square in front of me, and I
-was blind to it.
-
-The meeting was just now getting around to the idea that somebody
-present was responsible for all the nonsense. This shows you the
-trouble with committees.
-
-A shocking idea hit me abruptly; I grabbed Ray by the coatsleeve. "Ray,
-this cockeyed weather--I just remembered. _Suppose it's local._"
-
-His eyes widened; he nodded reluctantly. Then he stiffened and snapped
-his fingers at somebody squatting just below us--the invisible fan,
-Harry Somebody. I hadn't even noticed him there, but it's Ray's
-business to know everything and keep track of everybody--that's why
-he's up on his hill.
-
-The fan came over. Ray handed him something. "Here is some change,
-Harry--run out and call up the weather bureau. Find out whether this
-freak weather is local or not, and if it is, just where the boundaries
-are. Got that?"
-
-Harry nodded and went out. He was back only a couple of minutes
-later. "I got the Weather Bureau all right. They say it's local--just
-Manhattan and Queens!"
-
-Something snapped. I did a fast jig on the piano top, slipped and
-came crashing down over the keys, but I hardly noticed it. I got a
-death-grip on Ray's trouser leg. "Listen! If he can do that--he doesn't
-have to be in the same room. Doesn't Gamble live out in--"
-
-There were cries of alarm over by the open courtyard window. The room
-was suddenly full of cats--brindle ones, black ones, tabbies, white
-ones with pink ribbons around their necks, lunatic Siamese.
-
-After them came dogs: one indistinguishable wave of liquid leaping
-torsos, flying ears, gullets. In half a second the room was an incident
-written by Dante for the Mutascope.
-
-I caught a glimpse of a terrier bounding after two cats who were
-climbing Samwitz' back; I saw Duchamp asprawl, pipe still in his mouth,
-partially submerged under a tidal eddy of black and white. I saw
-Tom Q. rise up like a lighthouse, only to be bowled over by a
-frantically scrambling Leigh MacKean.
-
-Ray touched my arm and pointed. Over by the far wall, his back against
-it, Gamble stood like a slightly potbound Viking. He was swinging that
-massive briefcase of his, knocking a flying cat or dog aside at every
-swipe. Two women had crawled into his lee for shelter; he seemed to be
-enjoying himself.
-
-Then the briefcase burst. It didn't just come open; it flew apart like
-a comedy suitcase, scattering a whirlwind of manuscript paper, shirts,
-socks--and nothing else.
-
-The tide rushed toward the window again: the last screech and the last
-howl funneled out. In the ringing silence, somebody giggled. I couldn't
-place it, and neither could Ray, I think--then. Stunned, I counted
-scratched noses.
-
-Samwitz was nowhere in sight; the crowd had thinned a good deal, but
-all of the eight, thank heaven, were still there--MacKean sitting
-groggily on a stranger's lap, Werner Kley nursing a bloody nose,
-Tom Q., camera still dangling from his neck, crawling carefully on
-hands and knees toward the door....
-
-He reached it and disappeared. An instant later, we heard a full chorus
-of feminine screams from the lobby, and then the sound of an enormous
-J. Arthur Rank-type gong.
-
-Ray and I looked at each other with a wild surmise. "_Tom_ lives in
-Queens!" he said.
-
-I scrambled down off the piano and the platform, but Ray was quicker.
-He darted into the crowd, using his elbows in short, efficient jabs. By
-the time I got to the door he was nowhere in sight.
-
-The lobby was full of large powdery women in flowered dresses, one of
-them still shrieking. They slowed me down, and so did tripping over one
-of those big cylindrical jardinieres full of sand and snipes. I reached
-the street just in time to see Ray closing the door of a cab.
-
-I hadn't the wind to shout. I saw his cheerful face and Tom's in the
-small yellow glow of the cab light; I saw Tom Q. raise the camera, and
-Ray put out his hand to it. Then the cab pulled away into traffic, and
-I watched its beady red tail lights down the avenue until they winked
-out of sight.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Some time later, walking down the cold morning street, I discovered
-there was somebody with me, keeping step, not saying anything. It was
-Harry Er-Ah.
-
-He saw I had noticed him. "Some party," he remarked.
-
-I said yeah.
-
-"That was pretty funny, what happened in the lobby."
-
-"I didn't see it."
-
-"He came tearing through there on all fours. Right into the middle of
-all those women. They probably thought he was a mad dog or something."
-
-I took two more steps, and stopped, and looked at him. "That was _all_
-he did?" I said.
-
-"Sure."
-
-"Well, then," I said with mounting exasperation, "in the name of--Oh.
-Wait a minute. You're wrong," I told him, calming down again. "There
-was the gong. He made that gong noise."
-
-"Did he?" said Harry. One nervous hand went up and adjusted the
-hornrims.
-
-I felt a little tugging at my shirt front, and looked down to see my
-necktie slithering out. I swatted at it instinctively, but it ducked
-away and hovered, swaying like a cobra.
-
-Then it dropped. He showed me his open hand, and there was a wire
-running up out of his sleeve, with a clip on the end of it. For the
-first time, I noticed two rings of metal wired behind the lens frames
-of his eyeglasses.
-
-He pulled his other hand out of his pocket, and there was a little
-haywire rig in its batteries and a couple of tubes and three tuning
-knobs.
-
-Fans, I was thinking frozenly--sixteen or eighteen, maybe, with pimples
-and dandruff and black fingernails, and that wonderful, terrible
-eagerness boiling up inside them ... slaving away at backyard rocketry
-experiments, wiring up crazy gadgets that never worked, printing bad
-fiction and worse poetry in mimeographed magazines.... How could I have
-forgotten?
-
-"I wasn't going to tell anybody," he said. "No matter what happened. If
-they'd _looked_ at me, just once, they would have seen. But as long as
-you're worrying so much about it--" He blinked, and said humbly, "It
-scares me. What do you think I ought to do?"
-
-My fingers twitched. I said, "Well, this will take some thinking about,
-Harry. Uh, can I--"
-
-He backed off absent-mindedly as I stepped toward him. "I've been
-thinking about it," he said. "As a matter of fact, I haven't been to
-bed since yesterday morning. I worked on it straight through from four
-o'clock yesterday. Twenty hours. I took caffeine tablets. But go ahead,
-tell me. What would you do if you--" he said it apologetically--"were
-me?"
-
-I swallowed. "I'd go at it slowly," I said. "You can make a lot of
-mistakes by--"
-
-He interrupted me, with a sudden fiendish glint in his eye. "The man
-that has this is pretty important, don't you think?" And he grinned.
-"How would you like to see my face on all the stamps?"
-
-I shuddered in spite of myself. "Well--"
-
-"I wouldn't _bother_," he said. "I've got something better to do
-first--"
-
-"Harry," I said, leaning, "if I've said anything...."
-
-"You didn't say anything." He gave me such a look as I hope I never get
-from a human again. "Big shot!"
-
-I grabbed for him, but he was too quick. He leaped back, jamming the
-gadget into his pocket, fumbling at the spectacles with his other hand.
-I saw his feet lift clear of the pavement. He was hanging there like a
-mirage, drifting backward and upward just a little faster than I could
-run.
-
-His voice came down, thin and clear: "I'll send you a postcard from...."
-
-I lost the last part; anyhow, it couldn't have been what it sounded
-like.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Just over a month later came Palomar's reports of unaccountable lights
-observed on the dark limb of Mars. Every science fiction reader in the
-world, I suppose, had the same thought--of a wanderer's footprints
-fresh in the ancient dust, his handprints on controls not shaped for
-hands, the old wild light wakened. But only a few of us pictured
-hornrims gleaming there in the Martian night....
-
-I drove over to Milford and had a look through Ham Jibless' homemade
-telescope. I couldn't see the lights, of course, but I could see that
-damned infuriating planet, shining away ruddy there across 36,000,000
-miles of space, with its eternal _Yah, yah, you can't catch me!_
-
- * * * * *
-
-Medusa meetings have been badly attended since then, I'm told; for some
-reason, it gives the members the green heaves to look at each other.
-
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Likely Story, by Damon Knight</p>
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-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
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-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
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-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: A Likely Story</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Damon Knight</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 9, 2022 [eBook #67364]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A LIKELY STORY ***</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus1.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<p><i>If you discovered a fantastic power<br />
-like this, you'd use it benevolently, for<br />
-the good of the entire human race&mdash;wouldn't<br />
-you?</i> Sure <i>you would</i>!</p>
-
-<h1>a likely story</h1>
-
-<h2>By DAMON KNIGHT</h2>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Infinity Science Fiction, February 1956.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>That was the damnedest December I ever saw in New York. Whatever the
-weather is, Manhattan <i>always</i> gets the worst of it&mdash;frying hot in
-summer, snow or slush up to your ankles in winter&mdash;and all along the
-seaboard, it was a mean season. Coming in from Pennsylvania the day
-before, we'd been held up twice while the tracks were cleared. But when
-I stepped out of the hotel that night, the Saturday after Christmas,
-it was like a mild October; the air was just cool, with a fresh hint
-of snow in it. There was a little slush in the gutters, not much; the
-pavements were dry.</p>
-
-<p>I was late, or I would have gone back and ditched the rubbers; I
-hate the foolish things to begin with, one reason I moved to the
-country&mdash;out there, I wear house slippers half the year, galoshes the
-rest; there's no in-between. I took off my gloves, opened my scarf,
-and breathed deep lungfuls while I walked to the corner for a cab. I
-began to wonder if it had been smart to move 90 miles out of town just
-because I didn't like rubbers.</p>
-
-<p>The streets didn't seem overcrowded. I got a cab without any trouble.
-Nobody was hurrying; it was as if the whole population was sitting
-peacefully at home or in some bar, in no rush to be anywhere else.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen," I said to the cabbie, "this is still New York, isn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>He jerked his chin at me. "Hah?"</p>
-
-<p>"Where's the crowds?" I said. "Where's the rotten weather? What
-happened?"</p>
-
-<p>He nodded. "I know whatcha mean. Sure is funny. Crazy weather."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, when did this happen?"</p>
-
-<p>"Hah?"</p>
-
-<p>"I said, how long has this been going on?"</p>
-
-<p>"Cleared up about three o'clock. I looked out the winda, and the sun
-was shinin'. Jeez! You know what I think?"</p>
-
-<p>"You think it's them atom bombs," I told him.</p>
-
-<p>"That's right. You know what I think, I think it's them <i>atom</i> bombs."
-He pulled up opposite a canopy and folded down his flag.</p>
-
-<p>In the lobby, I found an arrow-shaped sign that said, "MEDUSA CLUB."</p>
-
-<p>The Medusa Club is, loosely speaking, an association for professional
-science fiction writers. No two of them will agree on what science
-fiction is&mdash;or on anything else&mdash;but they all write it, or have
-written it, or pretend they can write it, or something. They have three
-kinds of meetings, or two and a half. One is for club politics, one is
-for drinking, and the third is also for drinking, only more so. As a
-rule, they meet in people's apartments, usually Preacher Flatt's or Ray
-Alvarez', but every year at this time they rent a hotel ballroom and
-throw a whingding. I'm a member in bad standing; the last time I paid
-my dues was in 1950.</p>
-
-<p>Rod Pfehl (the P is silent, as in Psmith) was standing in the doorway,
-drunk, with a wad of dollar bills in his hand. "I'm the treasurer," he
-said happily. "Gimme." Either he was the treasurer, or he had conned
-a lot of people into thinking so. I paid him and started zigzagging
-slowly across the floor, trading hellos, looking for liquor.</p>
-
-<p>Tom Q. Jones went by in a hurry, carrying a big camera. That was
-unusual; Tom Q. is head components designer for a leading radio-TV
-manufacturer, and has sold, I guess, about two million words of science
-fiction, but this was the first time I had ever seen him in motion,
-or with anything but a highball in his hand. I spotted Punchy Carrol,
-nut-brown in a red dress; and Duchamp biting his pipe; and Leigh
-MacKean with her pale protoNordic face, as wistful and fey as the
-White Knight's; and there was a fan named Harry Somebody, nervously
-adjusting his hornrims as he peered across the room; and, this being
-the Christmas Party, there were a lot of the strangest faces on earth.</p>
-
-<p>Most of them were probably friends of friends, but you never knew;
-one time there had been a quiet banker-type man at a Medusa meeting,
-sitting in a corner and not saying much, who turned out to be Dorrance
-Canning, an old idol of mine; he wrote the "Woman Who Slept" series
-and other gorgeous stuff before I was out of knee pants.</p>
-
-<p>There were two blue-jacketed bartenders, and the drinks were
-eighty-five cents. Another reason I moved to the country is that the
-amusements are cheaper. Nursing my collins, I steered around two broad
-rumps in flounced satin and ran into Tom Q. He snapped a flashbulb in
-my face, chortled something, and went away while I was still dazzled.
-Somebody else with a lemon-colored spot for a head shook my left hand
-and muttered at me, but I wasn't listening; I had just figured out that
-what Tom had said, was, "There's no <i>film</i> in it!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Somebody fell down on the waxed floor; there was a little flurry of
-screams and laughter. I found myself being joggled, and managed to
-put away an inch of the collins to save it. Then I thought I saw Art
-Greymbergen, my favorite publisher, but before I could get anywhere
-near him Carrol's clear Sunday-school voice began calling, "The program
-is about to begin&mdash;please take your seats!" and a moment later people
-were moving sluggishly through the bar archway.</p>
-
-<p>I looked at my watch, then hauled out my copy of the little
-mimeographed sheet, full of earnest jocularity, that the club sent out
-every year to announce the Party. It said that the program would begin
-somewhere around 10, and it was that now.</p>
-
-<p>This was impossible. The program always pivoted on Bill Plass, and Bill
-never got there, or anywhere, until the party was due to break up.</p>
-
-<p>But I looked when I got down near the bandstand, and by God there he
-was, half as large as life, gesturing, flashing his Charlie Chaplin
-grin, teetering like a nervous firewalker. He saw me and waved hello,
-and then went on talking to Asa Akimisov, Ph.D. (A-K-I-M-I-S-O-V,
-please, and never mind the Akimesian, or Akimsiov.)</p>
-
-<p>Maybe it <i>was</i> them atom bombs, I found a vacant folding chair with
-a good view of the platform, and a better one of a striking brunette
-in blue. Akimisov got up on the platform, with his neck sticking out
-of his collar like a potted palm (he had lost forty pounds, again)
-and began telling jokes. Ace is the second funniest man in Medusa,
-the first being Plass; the peculiar thing is that Plass writes humor
-professionally, and delivers his annual set-pieces the same way&mdash;the
-rest of the time he is merely a perfectly fascinating morbid wit&mdash;but
-Akimisov, who writes nothing but the most heavily thoughtful fiction
-in the business, bubbles with humor all the time, a poor man's Sam
-Levenson. I was going to write an article once proving that a writer's
-personality on paper was his real one turned inside out, but I fell
-afoul of some exceptions. Like Tom Q., who was still flashing his bulbs
-over at the side of the platform, and being noisily suppressed&mdash;you
-could paper him all over with his published stories, and never know the
-difference.</p>
-
-<p>The program was good, even for Medusa. Ned Burgeon, wearing a sky-blue
-dinner jacket and a pepper-and-salt goatee, played his famous
-twenty-one-string guitar; a dark-haired girl, a new one to me, sang in
-a sweet, strong contralto; there was a skit involving Punchy Carrol as
-a dream-beast, L. Vague Duchamp as a bewildered spaceman, and B. U.
-Jadrys, the All-Lithuanian Boy, as a ticket agent for the Long Island
-Railroad. Then came Plass's annual monologue, and there is just nothing
-like those. I'm not exaggerating out of parochial pride (once a year
-is enough Medusa for me): the simple truth is that Plass is a comic
-genius.</p>
-
-<p>He had his audience laid out flat, gasping and clutching its sides. Why
-should a man like that waste his time writing fiction?</p>
-
-<p>Toward the end he paused, looked up from his notes, and ad-libbed a
-biting but not very funny wisecrack about&mdash;well, I'd better not say
-about what. A certain member in the audience stiffened and half got
-up, and there was a little embarrassed murmur under the laughter, but
-it was over in a minute. Bill looked flustered. He went back to his
-prepared speech, finished, and got a roar of applause.</p>
-
-<p>I did my share, but I was worried. Bill can charm the rattles off
-a snake; if he wanted to go in for quack-doctoring, nut cultism or
-Canadian mining stock, let alone night-club comedy, he could be a
-millionaire. That <i>gaffe</i> simply hadn't been like him, at all. Still,
-it was Bill's Dostoevskian soul that made him the funny man he was, and
-God only knew what had been happening to him in the year since I'd been
-in town....</p>
-
-<p>Akimisov, as m.c., delivered the final words. He bowed, straightened,
-and his pants fell down.</p>
-
-<p>In the dressing room, when I got back there, Bill was busy apologizing
-to the member on whose toes he had trodden&mdash;that apology would have
-soothed a tiger with a toothache&mdash;and Akimisov, with a bewildered
-expression, was holding up his pants. That was what I was curious
-about; it was another false note&mdash;I didn't think Ace would stoop that
-low for a laugh. The pants were too big for him, of course, but Ace had
-always struck me as the kind of guy who wears a belt <i>and</i> suspenders.</p>
-
-<p>He did; but the tongue had come out of the belt-buckle, and all the
-suspenders buttons had popped, all at once. Scouts were being sent out
-to look for a belt that would fit.</p>
-
-<p>I wandered out into the hall again. I was beginning to get a peculiar
-feeling on one drink. Too many fresh vegetables; I can't take it like
-I used to. So I went to the bar and got another.</p>
-
-<p>When I came out, the brunette in the blue evening gown was standing
-near the doorway listening to Larry Bagsby. Next thing I knew, she let
-out a whoop, grabbed her bosom, and fetched Larry a good one on the
-ear. This was unfair. I was a witness, and Larry hadn't done a thing
-except look; her overworked shoulder straps had simply given way, like
-Akimisov's suspenders.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Curiouser and curiouser.... The noises around me were picking up in
-volume and tempo, for all the world like a dancehall scene in a Western
-movie, just before somebody throws the first table. There was a thud
-and a screech off to my right; I gathered that somebody else had fallen
-down. Then a tinkle of bursting glass, and another little chorus of
-shouts, and then another thud. It went on like that. The crowd was on
-the move, in no particular direction; everybody was asking everybody
-else what was going on.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus2.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>I felt the same way, so I went looking for Ray Alvarez; you can always
-count on him to tell you the answer, or make one up.</p>
-
-<p>Tom Q. went by, flashing that camera, and it wasn't till the mob had
-swallowed him that I realized he wasn't replacing the bulb between
-shots&mdash;the same one was blazing over and over.</p>
-
-<p>Well, a few years ago it was silly putty; the year before that,
-Diarrhetics. This year, everlasting flash bulbs&mdash;and no film in the
-camera.</p>
-
-<p>Ned Burgeon passed me, his grin tilting his whiskers dangerously near
-the lighted stub in his cigarette holder; he was carrying the guitar
-case as if he were wading ashore with it. I saw Duchamp off to one
-side, talking to somebody, gesturing emphatically with his pipe.</p>
-
-<p>It isn't so, but occasionally you get the impression that science
-fiction writers are either very tall or very short. I watched H. Drene
-Pfeiffer stilt by, Ray Bolgerish in an astonishing skin-tight suit of
-horseblanket plaid, followed by Will Kubatius and the <i>heldentenor</i>
-bulk of Don W. Gamble, Jr. I lowered my sights. Sandwiched between the
-giants there ought to have been half a dozen people I'd have been glad
-to see&mdash;if not Alvarez, then Bill Plass or his brother Horty; or Jerry
-Thaw; Bagsby; Preacher Flatt, who looks too much like a marmoset to
-be true.... But no: down on those lower levels there was nobody but an
-eleven-year-old boy who had got in by mistake, and the ubiquitous fan,
-Harry <i>You</i>-Know, the one with the glasses and all that hair. I tacked,
-veering slightly, and beat across the room the other way.</p>
-
-<p>There was another crash of glass, a <i>big</i> one, and a louder chorus of
-yells. It wasn't all automatic female shrieks, this time; I caught a
-couple of male voices, raised in unmistakable anger.</p>
-
-<p>The crowd was thinning out a little; droves of friends of friends
-appeared to be heading for the coat room. Across one of the clear
-spaces came a pretty blonde, looking apprehensive. In a minute I
-saw why. Her skirt billowed out around her suddenly and she yelled,
-crouched, holding the cloth down with both hands, then sunfished away
-into the crowd. A moment later the same thing happened to a tall
-brown-haired girl over to my left.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus3.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>That was too much. Glancing up, I happened to see the big cut-glass
-chandelier begin swaying gently from side to side, jingling faintly,
-working up momentum. I moved faster, buttonholing everyone I knew:
-"Have you seen Ray? Have you seen Ray?"</p>
-
-<p>I heard my name, and there he was, standing like stout Cortez atop the
-piano, where he could see the whole room like an anthill. I climbed up
-beside him. Alvarez, to quote Duchamp's description, is a small rumpled
-man with an air of sleepy good-nature. This is apt until you get close
-to him, when you discover he is about as sleepy as a hungry catamount.
-"Hi," he said, with a sidewise glance.</p>
-
-<p>"Hi. What do you think's doing it?"</p>
-
-<p>"It could be," said Ray, speaking firmly and rapidly, "a local
-discontinuity in the four-dimensional plenum that we're passing
-through. Or it could be poltergeists&mdash;that's perfectly possible, you
-know." He gave me a look, daring me to deny it.</p>
-
-<p>"You think so?"</p>
-
-<p>"It <i>could</i> be."</p>
-
-<p>"By golly, I believe you're right," I said. This is the only way to
-handle Alvarez when he talks nonsense. If you give him the slightest
-degree of resistance, he will argue along the same line till doomsday,
-just to prove he can.</p>
-
-<p>"Mmm," he said thoughtfully, screwing up his face. "No, I
-don't&mdash;think&mdash;so."</p>
-
-<p>"No?"</p>
-
-<p>"No," he said positively. "You notice how the thing seems to travel
-around the room?" He nodded to a fist fight that was breaking out a
-few yards from us, and then to a goosed girl leaping over by the bar
-entrance. "There's a kind of irregular rhythm to it." He moved his
-hand, illustrating. "One thing happens&mdash;then another thing&mdash;now here it
-comes around this way again&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>A fat friend of a friend and her husband backed up against the platform
-just below us, quivering. There was something wrong with my fingers;
-they felt warm. The collins glass was turning warm. Warm, <i>hell</i>&mdash;I
-yelped and dropped it, sucking my fingers. The glass looped and fell
-neatly on the flowered hat of the friend of a friend, and liquid
-splattered. The woman hooted like a peanut whistle. She whirled,
-slipped in the puddle and lurched off into the arms of a hairy authors'
-agent. Her husband dithered after her a couple of steps, then came back
-with blood in his eye. He got up as far as the piano stool when, as far
-as I could make out, his pants split up the back and he climbed down
-again, glaring and clutching himself.</p>
-
-<p>"Now it's over in the middle," said Ray imperturbably. "It <i>might</i>
-be poltergeists, I won't say it isn't. But I've got a hunch there's
-another answer, actually."</p>
-
-<p>I said something dubious. A hotel-manager-looking kind of a man had
-just come in and was looking wildly around. Punchy Carrol went up to
-him, staring him respectfully right in the eye, talking a quiet six to
-his dozen. After a moment he gave up and listened. I've known Punchy
-ever since she was a puppy-eyed greenhorn from Philadelphia, and I
-don't underestimate her any more. I knew the manager-type would go away
-and not call any cops&mdash;at least for a while.</p>
-
-<p>I glanced down at the floor, and then looked again. There were little
-flat chips of ice scattered in the wetness. That could have been from
-the ice cubes; but there was <i>frost</i> on some of the pieces of glass.</p>
-
-<p><i>Hot on the bottom, cold on top!</i></p>
-
-<p>"Ray," I said, "something's buzzing around in my mind. Maxwell's
-demon." I pointed to the frosted bits of glass. "That might&mdash;No, I'm
-wrong, that couldn't account for all these&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He took it all in in one look. "Yes, it could!" he snapped. His
-cat-eyes gleamed at me. "Maxwell had the theory of the perfect heat
-pump&mdash;it would work if you could only find a so-called demon, about the
-size of a molecule, that would bat all the hot molecules one way, and
-all the cold ones the other."</p>
-
-<p>"I know," I said, "But&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, I'm just explaining it to you."</p>
-
-<p>What he told me was what I was thinking: Our unidentified friend had
-some way of changing probability levels. I mean, all the molecules of
-air under a woman's skirt <i>could</i> suddenly decide to move in the same
-direction&mdash;or all the molecules in a patch of flooring <i>could</i> lose
-their surface friction&mdash;it just wasn't likely. If you could <i>make</i> it
-likely&mdash;there wasn't any limit. You could make honest dice turn up a
-thousand sevens in a row. You could run a car without an engine; make
-rain or fair weather; reduce the crime index to zero; keep a demagogue
-from getting re-elected....</p>
-
-<p>Well, if all that was true, I wanted in. And I didn't have the ghost
-of a chance&mdash;I was out of touch; I didn't know anybody. Ray knew
-everybody.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Spread out, folks!" said a bullhorn voice. It was Samwitz, of course,
-standing on a bench at the far wall. Kosmo Samwitz, the Flushing
-Nightingale; not one of the Medusa crowd, usually&mdash;a nice enough guy,
-and a hard-working committeeman, but the ordinary Manhattan meeting
-hall isn't big enough to hold his voice. "Spread out&mdash;make an equal
-distance between you. That way we can't get into any fights." People
-started following his orders, partly because they made sense, partly
-because, otherwise, he'd go on bellowing.</p>
-
-<p>"That's good&mdash;that's good," said Samwitz. "All right, this meeting is
-hereby called to order. The chair will entertain suggestions about what
-the nature of these here phenomenon are...."</p>
-
-<p>Ray showed signs of wanting to get down and join the caucus; he loves
-parliamentary procedure better than life itself; so I said hastily,
-"Let's get down with the crowd, Ray. We can't see much better up here,
-anyway."</p>
-
-<p>He stiffened. "You go if you want to," he said quietly. "I'm staying
-here, where I can keep an eye on things."</p>
-
-<p>The chandelier was now describing stately circles, causing a good
-deal of ducking and confusion, but the meeting was getting on with its
-business, namely, arguing about whether to confirm Kosmo by acclamation
-or nominate and elect a chairman in the usual way. That subject, I
-figured, was good for at least twenty minutes. I said, "Ray, will you
-tell me the truth if I ask you something?"</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe." He grinned.</p>
-
-<p>"Are you doing this?"</p>
-
-<p>He threw his head back and chuckled, "No-o, I'm not doing it." He
-looked at me shrewdly, still grinning. "Is that why you were looking
-for me?"</p>
-
-<p>I admitted it humbly. "It was just a foolish idea," I said. "Nobody we
-know could possibly&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"<i>I</i> don't know about that," he said, squinting thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, come on, Ray."</p>
-
-<p>He was affronted. "Why not? We've got some pretty good scientific
-brains in Medusa, you know. There's Gamble&mdash;he's an atomic physicist.
-There's Don Bierce; there's Duchamp; there's&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I know," I said, "I know, but where would any of them have got hold of
-a thing like <i>this</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"They could have invented it," he said stoutly.</p>
-
-<p>"You mean like Balmer and Phog Relapse running the Michelson experiment
-in their cellar, and making it come out that there <i>is</i> an ether drift,
-only it's <i>down</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>He bristled. "No, I certainly don't&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Or like Lobbard discovering Scatiology?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ptah! No! Like Watt, like Edison, Galileo&mdash;" He thumbed down three
-fingers emphatically. "&mdash;Goodyear, Morse, Whitney&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Down below, the meeting had taken less than five minutes to confirm
-Samwitz as chairman. I think the chandelier helped; they ought to
-install one of those in every parliamentary chamber.</p>
-
-<p>The chair recognized Punchy, who said sweetly that the first order
-of business ought to be to get opinions from the people who knew
-something, beginning with Werner Kley.</p>
-
-<p>Werner accordingly made a very charming speech, full of Teutonic
-rumbles, the essence of which was that he didn't know any more about
-this than a rabbit. He suggested, however, that pictures should be
-taken. There was a chorus of "Tom!" and Jones staggered forward with
-his war-cry: "There isn't any <i>film</i> in it!"</p>
-
-<p>Somebody was dispatched to get film; somebody else trotted out to
-telephone for reporters and cameramen, and three or four other people
-headed in a businesslike way for the men's room.</p>
-
-<p>Ray was simultaneously trying to get the chair's attention and
-explaining to me, in staccato asides, how many epochal inventions had
-been made by amateurs in attic workshops. I said&mdash;and this was really
-bothering me&mdash;"But look: do you see anybody with any kind of a gadget?
-How's he going to hide it? How's he going to focus it, or whatever?"</p>
-
-<p>Ray snorted. "It might be hidden in almost anything. Burgeon's
-guitar&mdash;Gamble's briefcase&mdash;Mr. Chairman!"</p>
-
-<p>Duchamp was talking, but I could feel it in my bones that Samwitz was
-going to get around to Ray next. I leaned closer. "Ray, listen&mdash;a thing
-like this&mdash;they wouldn't keep it to themselves, would they?"</p>
-
-<p>"Why not? Wouldn't you&mdash;for a while, anyway?" He gave me his bobcat
-grin. "I can think of quite&mdash;a&mdash;few things I could do, if I had it."</p>
-
-<p>So could I; that was the whole point. I said, "Yeah. I was hoping
-we could spot him, before the crowd does." I sighed. "Fat chance, I
-suppose."</p>
-
-<p>He gave me another side-long look. "That shouldn't be so hard," he
-drawled.</p>
-
-<p>"You <i>know</i> who it is?"</p>
-
-<p>He put on his most infuriating grin, peering to see how I took it.
-"I've, got, a few, ideas."</p>
-
-<p>"Who?"</p>
-
-<p>Wrong question. He shook his head with a that-would-be-telling look.</p>
-
-<p>Somebody across the room went down with a crash; then somebody else.
-"Sit on the floor!" Ray shouted, and they all did it, squatting
-cautiously like old ladies at a picnic. The meeting gathered speed
-again.</p>
-
-<p>I looked apprehensively at the narrow piano top we were standing on,
-and sat down with my legs hanging over. Ray stayed where he was,
-defying the elements to do their worst.</p>
-
-<p>"You know, all right," I said, looking up at him, "but you're keeping
-it to yourself." I shrugged. "Well, why shouldn't you?"</p>
-
-<p>"O-kay," he said good-naturedly. "Let's figure it out. Where were you
-when it started?"</p>
-
-<p>"In the bar."</p>
-
-<p>"Who else was there? Try to remember exact-ly."</p>
-
-<p>I thought. "Art Greymbergen. Fred Balester. Gamble was there&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, that eliminates him&mdash;and you, incidentally&mdash;because it started
-in here. Right, so far?"</p>
-
-<p>"Right!"</p>
-
-<p>"Hmmm. Something happened <i>to</i> Akimisov."</p>
-
-<p>"And Plass&mdash;that booboo he made?"</p>
-
-<p>Ray dismissed Plass with a gesture. He was looking a little restive;
-another debate was under way down below, with Punchy and Leigh MacKean
-vociferously presenting the case for psychokinesis, and being expertly
-heckled by owlish little M. C. (Hotfoot) Burncloth's echo-chamber
-voice. "It's too much," I said quickly. "There's too many of them left.
-We'll never&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"It's perfectly simple!" Ray said incisively. He counted on his fingers
-again. "Burgeon&mdash;Kley&mdash;Duchamp&mdash;Bierce&mdash;Burncloth&mdash;MacKean&mdash;Jibless.
-Eight people."</p>
-
-<p>"One of the visitors?" I objected.</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head. "I know who all these people are, generally," he
-said. "It's got to be one of those eight. I'll take Kley, Bierce,
-Jibless and MacKean&mdash;you watch the other four. Sooner or later they'll
-give themselves away."</p>
-
-<p>I had <i>been</i> watching. I did it some more.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A wave of neck-clutching passed over the crowd. Cold breezes, I expect.
-Or hot ones, in some cases. Tom Jones leaped up with a cry and sat down
-again abruptly.</p>
-
-<p>"Did you see anything?" Ray asked.</p>
-
-<p>I shook my head. Where, I wondered, was the good old science fiction
-cameraderie? If I'd been the lucky one, I would have let the crowd
-in&mdash;well, a few of them, anyway&mdash;given them jobs and palaces and
-things. Not that they would have been grateful, probably, the
-treacherous, undependable, neurotic bums....</p>
-
-<p>They were looking nervous now. There had been that little burst of
-activity after a long pause (even the chandelier seemed to be swinging
-slowly to rest), and now the&mdash;call it the stillness&mdash;was more than they
-could stand. I felt it, too: that building up of tension. Whoever it
-was, was getting tired of little things.</p>
-
-<p>A horrible jangling welled out of Burgeon's guitar case; it sounded
-like a bull banjo with the heaves. Ned jumped, dropped his cigarette
-holder, got the case open and I guess put his hand on the strings; the
-noise stopped. That eliminated him ... or did it?</p>
-
-<p>Take it another way. What would the guy have to be like who would waste
-a marvel like this on schoolboy pranks at a Medusa Christmas party? Not
-Jibless, I thought&mdash;he abominates practical jokers. Bierce didn't seem
-to be the type, either, although you could never tell; the damnedest
-wry stories get hatched occasionally in that lean ecclesiastic skull.
-Duchamp was too staid (but was I sure?); MacKean was an enigma. Gamble?
-Just maybe. Burgeon? Jones? It could be either, I thought, but I
-wasn't satisfied.</p>
-
-<p>I glanced at Ray again, and mentally crossed him off for the second or
-third time. Ray's an honorable man, within his own complicated set of
-rules; he might mislead me, with pleasure, but he wouldn't give me the
-lie direct.</p>
-
-<p>But I had the feeling that the answer was square in front of me, and I
-was blind to it.</p>
-
-<p>The meeting was just now getting around to the idea that somebody
-present was responsible for all the nonsense. This shows you the
-trouble with committees.</p>
-
-<p>A shocking idea hit me abruptly; I grabbed Ray by the coatsleeve. "Ray,
-this cockeyed weather&mdash;I just remembered. <i>Suppose it's local.</i>"</p>
-
-<p>His eyes widened; he nodded reluctantly. Then he stiffened and snapped
-his fingers at somebody squatting just below us&mdash;the invisible fan,
-Harry Somebody. I hadn't even noticed him there, but it's Ray's
-business to know everything and keep track of everybody&mdash;that's why
-he's up on his hill.</p>
-
-<p>The fan came over. Ray handed him something. "Here is some change,
-Harry&mdash;run out and call up the weather bureau. Find out whether this
-freak weather is local or not, and if it is, just where the boundaries
-are. Got that?"</p>
-
-<p>Harry nodded and went out. He was back only a couple of minutes
-later. "I got the Weather Bureau all right. They say it's local&mdash;just
-Manhattan and Queens!"</p>
-
-<p>Something snapped. I did a fast jig on the piano top, slipped and
-came crashing down over the keys, but I hardly noticed it. I got a
-death-grip on Ray's trouser leg. "Listen! If he can do that&mdash;he doesn't
-have to be in the same room. Doesn't Gamble live out in&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>There were cries of alarm over by the open courtyard window. The room
-was suddenly full of cats&mdash;brindle ones, black ones, tabbies, white
-ones with pink ribbons around their necks, lunatic Siamese.</p>
-
-<p>After them came dogs: one indistinguishable wave of liquid leaping
-torsos, flying ears, gullets. In half a second the room was an incident
-written by Dante for the Mutascope.</p>
-
-<p>I caught a glimpse of a terrier bounding after two cats who were
-climbing Samwitz' back; I saw Duchamp asprawl, pipe still in his mouth,
-partially submerged under a tidal eddy of black and white. I saw
-Tom Q. rise up like a lighthouse, only to be bowled over by a
-frantically scrambling Leigh MacKean.</p>
-
-<p>Ray touched my arm and pointed. Over by the far wall, his back against
-it, Gamble stood like a slightly potbound Viking. He was swinging that
-massive briefcase of his, knocking a flying cat or dog aside at every
-swipe. Two women had crawled into his lee for shelter; he seemed to be
-enjoying himself.</p>
-
-<p>Then the briefcase burst. It didn't just come open; it flew apart like
-a comedy suitcase, scattering a whirlwind of manuscript paper, shirts,
-socks&mdash;and nothing else.</p>
-
-<p>The tide rushed toward the window again: the last screech and the last
-howl funneled out. In the ringing silence, somebody giggled. I couldn't
-place it, and neither could Ray, I think&mdash;then. Stunned, I counted
-scratched noses.</p>
-
-<p>Samwitz was nowhere in sight; the crowd had thinned a good deal, but
-all of the eight, thank heaven, were still there&mdash;MacKean sitting
-groggily on a stranger's lap, Werner Kley nursing a bloody nose,
-Tom Q., camera still dangling from his neck, crawling carefully on
-hands and knees toward the door....</p>
-
-<p>He reached it and disappeared. An instant later, we heard a full chorus
-of feminine screams from the lobby, and then the sound of an enormous
-J. Arthur Rank-type gong.</p>
-
-<p>Ray and I looked at each other with a wild surmise. "<i>Tom</i> lives in
-Queens!" he said.</p>
-
-<p>I scrambled down off the piano and the platform, but Ray was quicker.
-He darted into the crowd, using his elbows in short, efficient jabs. By
-the time I got to the door he was nowhere in sight.</p>
-
-<p>The lobby was full of large powdery women in flowered dresses, one of
-them still shrieking. They slowed me down, and so did tripping over one
-of those big cylindrical jardinieres full of sand and snipes. I reached
-the street just in time to see Ray closing the door of a cab.</p>
-
-<p>I hadn't the wind to shout. I saw his cheerful face and Tom's in the
-small yellow glow of the cab light; I saw Tom Q. raise the camera, and
-Ray put out his hand to it. Then the cab pulled away into traffic, and
-I watched its beady red tail lights down the avenue until they winked
-out of sight.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Some time later, walking down the cold morning street, I discovered
-there was somebody with me, keeping step, not saying anything. It was
-Harry Er-Ah.</p>
-
-<p>He saw I had noticed him. "Some party," he remarked.</p>
-
-<p>I said yeah.</p>
-
-<p>"That was pretty funny, what happened in the lobby."</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't see it."</p>
-
-<p>"He came tearing through there on all fours. Right into the middle of
-all those women. They probably thought he was a mad dog or something."</p>
-
-<p>I took two more steps, and stopped, and looked at him. "That was <i>all</i>
-he did?" I said.</p>
-
-<p>"Sure."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, then," I said with mounting exasperation, "in the name of&mdash;Oh.
-Wait a minute. You're wrong," I told him, calming down again. "There
-was the gong. He made that gong noise."</p>
-
-<p>"Did he?" said Harry. One nervous hand went up and adjusted the
-hornrims.</p>
-
-<p>I felt a little tugging at my shirt front, and looked down to see my
-necktie slithering out. I swatted at it instinctively, but it ducked
-away and hovered, swaying like a cobra.</p>
-
-<p>Then it dropped. He showed me his open hand, and there was a wire
-running up out of his sleeve, with a clip on the end of it. For the
-first time, I noticed two rings of metal wired behind the lens frames
-of his eyeglasses.</p>
-
-<p>He pulled his other hand out of his pocket, and there was a little
-haywire rig in its batteries and a couple of tubes and three tuning
-knobs.</p>
-
-<p>Fans, I was thinking frozenly&mdash;sixteen or eighteen, maybe, with pimples
-and dandruff and black fingernails, and that wonderful, terrible
-eagerness boiling up inside them ... slaving away at backyard rocketry
-experiments, wiring up crazy gadgets that never worked, printing bad
-fiction and worse poetry in mimeographed magazines.... How could I have
-forgotten?</p>
-
-<p>"I wasn't going to tell anybody," he said. "No matter what happened. If
-they'd <i>looked</i> at me, just once, they would have seen. But as long as
-you're worrying so much about it&mdash;" He blinked, and said humbly, "It
-scares me. What do you think I ought to do?"</p>
-
-<p>My fingers twitched. I said, "Well, this will take some thinking about,
-Harry. Uh, can I&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He backed off absent-mindedly as I stepped toward him. "I've been
-thinking about it," he said. "As a matter of fact, I haven't been to
-bed since yesterday morning. I worked on it straight through from four
-o'clock yesterday. Twenty hours. I took caffeine tablets. But go ahead,
-tell me. What would you do if you&mdash;" he said it apologetically&mdash;"were
-me?"</p>
-
-<p>I swallowed. "I'd go at it slowly," I said. "You can make a lot of
-mistakes by&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He interrupted me, with a sudden fiendish glint in his eye. "The man
-that has this is pretty important, don't you think?" And he grinned.
-"How would you like to see my face on all the stamps?"</p>
-
-<p>I shuddered in spite of myself. "Well&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I wouldn't <i>bother</i>," he said. "I've got something better to do
-first&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Harry," I said, leaning, "if I've said anything...."</p>
-
-<p>"You didn't say anything." He gave me such a look as I hope I never get
-from a human again. "Big shot!"</p>
-
-<p>I grabbed for him, but he was too quick. He leaped back, jamming the
-gadget into his pocket, fumbling at the spectacles with his other hand.
-I saw his feet lift clear of the pavement. He was hanging there like a
-mirage, drifting backward and upward just a little faster than I could
-run.</p>
-
-<p>His voice came down, thin and clear: "I'll send you a postcard from...."</p>
-
-<p>I lost the last part; anyhow, it couldn't have been what it sounded
-like.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Just over a month later came Palomar's reports of unaccountable lights
-observed on the dark limb of Mars. Every science fiction reader in the
-world, I suppose, had the same thought&mdash;of a wanderer's footprints
-fresh in the ancient dust, his handprints on controls not shaped for
-hands, the old wild light wakened. But only a few of us pictured
-hornrims gleaming there in the Martian night....</p>
-
-<p>I drove over to Milford and had a look through Ham Jibless' homemade
-telescope. I couldn't see the lights, of course, but I could see that
-damned infuriating planet, shining away ruddy there across 36,000,000
-miles of space, with its eternal <i>Yah, yah, you can't catch me!</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Medusa meetings have been badly attended since then, I'm told; for some
-reason, it gives the members the green heaves to look at each other.</p>
-
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