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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #66990 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66990)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Narrative of a Private Soldier in His
-Majesty's 92d Regiment of Foot, by George Billany
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Narrative of a Private Soldier in His Majesty's 92d Regiment of
- Foot
-
-Author: George Billany
-
-Commentator: Ralph Wardlaw
-
-Release Date: December 21, 2021 [eBook #66990]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: David King and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
- https://www.pgdp.net. (This file was produced from images
- generously made available by The Internet Archive.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NARRATIVE OF A PRIVATE
-SOLDIER IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92D REGIMENT OF FOOT ***
-
-
- Narrative of a Private Soldier in His Majesty's 92d Regiment of Foot
-
-
-
-
- NARRATIVE OF A PRIVATE SOLDIER IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92D REGIMENT OF FOOT.
-
- WRITTEN BY GEORGE BILLANY.
-
- DETAILING
-
- MANY CIRCUMSTANCES RELATIVE TO THE INSURRECTION IN
- IRELAND IN 1798; THE EXPEDITION TO HOLLAND IN
- 1799; AND THE EXPEDITION TO EGYPT IN 1801;
- AND GIVING A PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF
- HIS RELIGIOUS HISTORY AND EXPERIENCE.
-
- WITH A PREFACE
-
- BY THE REV. RALPH WARDLAW, D. D.
-
- _First American edition._
-
- PHILADELPHIA:
-
- PUBLISHED FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE UNITED FOREIGN
- MISSIONARY SOCIETY.
-
- 1822.
-
-
-
-
- PREFACE.
-
-
-Long prefaces to Narratives have seldom, I believe, the honour of being
-read through. If the Narrative possess interest, a tedious
-recommendation only detains the reader from his enjoyment; and if it
-possess none, it aggravates his disappointment.--I shall, therefore, be
-very brief.
-
-The subject of the following Memoir has been connected with the church
-under my pastoral care, nearly since its formation, in the year
-1803:--and, from this, as well as from a circumstance in his religious
-history, which the reader will discover towards the close of the
-narrative, it may perhaps be thought, that my recommendations are, in
-some degree, dictated by feelings of partiality. I hope I shall never be
-so dead to Christian sensibility, as to feel nothing of the peculiar
-interest which the circumstance alluded to, is fitted to produce. Yet I
-may say with truth, that the very consciousness of this interest has
-made me the more jealous and scrupulous in giving the advice to publish;
-an advice which I never should have given, unless from a sincere
-conviction, that the Narrative is fitted both to please and to profit;
-to gratify curiosity, and, through the blessing of God, to impart
-instruction and spiritual benefit.
-
-The remarks of a private in the ranks, when he is a man of any
-shrewdness and observation, on the incidents that come within his
-notice, in the campaigns in which he is engaged, have in them a
-particular interest.--Whilst we are pleased with the degree of
-intelligence which they discover, we at the same time feel a satisfying
-confidence, that they contain 'a plain unvarnished tale;' unaffected by
-any temptation, either 'in aught to extenuate,' or 'to set down aught in
-malice.'
-
-The _religious experience_ of the writer, I consider as especially
-instructive.--It sets before us, I believe, in honest simplicity, the
-workings of a sensible and thoughtful mind, and of a conscience, which
-had never entirely lost its early impressions;--the convictions, and
-distresses, and reasonings,--the self-righteous and self confident
-resolutions, and the necessary failures and inconsistencies, of an
-awakened but unrenewed state;--the natural reluctance of man to part
-with _self_, to plead guilty, and to depend on grace; and yet the entire
-inefficacy of every thing but this grace either to impart satisfactory
-and steadfast peace to the conscience, or to produce in the heart a
-principle of vigorous and cheerful, consistent and persevering
-obedience.
-
-Of this grace, although, like every other good thing, it has been too
-often perverted and abused by the self-deceiver and the hypocrite, the
-native tendency is, to "teach" all who receive it, to "deny ungodliness,
-and worldly desires, and to live soberly, righteously, and godly, in
-this present world,"--I feel the delicacy of saying any thing in praise
-of one, whose living eye the commendation is to meet, and who is still,
-like all others, the subject of remaining corruption, and in danger of
-injury from its evil propensities; yet, as it is not _himself_ I
-commend, but the _grace_ that has made him what he is, and to which he
-owns himself an entire and humble debtor, I feel at liberty to say, that
-the subject of the following Narrative, since he was led to embrace the
-doctrine of the cross, has been enabled,--amidst imperfections and
-failures no doubt, of which he himself has been much more sensible than
-others have been observant,--to "walk in newness of life," and to show,
-that "the gospel of the grace of God" has been "the power of God unto
-salvation," when every thing else had failed, and had led only to
-despair.
-
-With the exception of occasional corrections in the use of words and in
-the structure of sentences, unavoidable in revising for the press the
-manuscript of one unaccustomed to composition, the _style_ is the
-writer's own; the work, throughout, having been printed from his
-autograph, without transcription:--and I pledge my word to the reader,
-that a single additional _sentiment_ has not been introduced.
-
-I commend the little volume to the candour of the reader, and to the
-blessing of God;--not without a pleasing hope, that while it may
-benefit, in a temporal view, the family of one, whose wound received in
-the service of his country, confined him again, even very recently, from
-his daily occupation, for nearly four months; it may, at the same time,
-produce higher and more valuable effects, in the instruction,
-admonition, and salvation, of those who peruse it.
-
-RALPH WARDLAW.
-
-_GLASGOW, June 14th, 1819._
-
-
-
-
- ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION.
-
-
-The very kind reception which the public have given to the first
-edition, has encouraged the Author to improve and enlarge the second.
-The additions chiefly consist of a more detailed and combined account of
-the Insurrection in Ireland, and the Expeditions to Holland and Egypt.
-These additions, he hopes, will make the reading of the Narrative more
-pleasant, particularly to young persons. He has divided it into
-chapters, and inserted the number of the regiment he served in; but his
-name can be of no consequence to the reader.
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS.
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-Cause and design of writing the Narrative. Author attends the Sabbath
-School of Dr. Balfour in Glasgow, in 1790. Enlists into the 92d foot, in
-1796, and joins the regiment in Gibraltar in 1797. Behaviour while
-there. Returns to England in 1798.
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-Regiment lands at Dublin, in June, 1798. State of that city during the
-insurrection. Conveyed in coaches to Arklow. Surprises the insurgents on
-the White Heaps, 5th July. Particulars of the pursuit and arrival at
-Gorey. Instances of the ferocity of civil war. Kind behaviour of the
-regiment to the inhabitants. Deserted state of Gorey, where the Author
-is much in want of provisions. Distressing state of the surrounding
-country. March to Blessington, and join the brigade of Sir John Moore,
-and encamp in the glen of Eimal. Orders against swearing. State of the
-insurgents in the Wicklow Mountains. March to oppose the French who had
-landed at Killala. Lie in Athlone during the winter. The Author's
-religious experience while there. March to Cork, and embark for England,
-June, 1799.
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-Join the expedition under Sir R. Abercrombie, and sail for Holland, 6th
-August. Land near the Helder on the 27th. Action among the sand-hills,
-and capture of Helder. Surrender of the Dutch fleet. Advance to the long
-dyke; with a description of it, and the surrounding country. Dutch
-method of churning butter. Action on the long dyke, 10th Sept. Repulse
-of the Duke of York and the Russians on the 19th. Action on the 2d
-October, near Egmont. Lord Huntly wounded. Sir J. Moore wounded.
-Singular action of cavalry. Spectacle of the dead, and severe loss of
-the regiment. Singular death of a Highlander and Frenchman. March to
-Alkmaar. Action of the 6th. Author escorts prisoners on the 7th. Army
-retreats to the long dyke on the 8th. Armistice and convention for
-leaving Holland. Author takes the ague. Regiment arrives in England, and
-goes into Chelmsford Barracks. Religious experience of the Author while
-there.
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-Regiment embarks at Cowes on board the Diadem, 64, and Inconstant
-frigate, 27th May, 1800; and sails for the coast of France. Anchors at
-the Isle of Houet, 2d June. Singular occurrence on the 4th. Intended
-attack on Belleisle. Religious seamen on board the Terrible, 74. Sails
-for the Mediterranean. Arrival at Minorca on the 21st July. Regiment
-leaves Minorca on board the Stately, 64. Intended attack upon Cadiz, 6th
-October.--Dangerous storm in Tetuan bay. Touches at Minorca and Malta.
-The fleet anchors in Marmorice Bay, preparatory to landing in Egypt.
-Some account of that bay and the surrounding country. Author's state of
-mind during the passage. He is seized with an infectious fever. His
-religious experience during his sickness, and after his recovery. Sails
-for Egypt. Objection against the truth of the Scriptures.
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-Account of the landing in Egypt, 8th March, 1801. Author seized with
-night-blindness. Action of the 13th. Scarcity of water. Account of the
-position of the army and Pompey's Pillar and Cleopatra's Needles. Battle
-of the 21st, at which the Author is wounded and sent on board an
-hospital ship. Condition and behaviour of the wounded. Author removed to
-an hospital at Aboukir. Lord Hutchison goes with a part of the army to
-Cairo. Author's wound gets worse. Troublesomeness of flies and vermin.
-Sirocco, or hot wind, and rapid increase of the plague. Account of
-several interesting cases. Behaviour of the wounded in Aboukir hospital,
-and the Author's religious experience.
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-Author embarks for Rosetta. Dangerous passage of the bar at the mouth of
-the Nile. Rosetta hospital. Author dangerously ill. Death of his
-comrade, &c. Inundation of the Nile. Skin bottles. Surrender of
-Alexandria. Dress of the Sepoys and Egyptian peasants. Manner of eating
-their meals. Mahomedan mosques. Gun fired at mid-day in Cairo by the
-rays of the sun. Explosion of a powder chest kills several of the 13th
-foot. Remarks on the state of mind in which many died. Produce and
-manner of cultivating the Delta. Immense heaps of grain. Wretchedness of
-the peasantry. Extracts from Sir R. Wilson and Dr. Clarke, on the
-diseases and plagues of Egypt. The unavoidable evils of War. Author
-leaves Rosetta, and sails for England.
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-Arrival at Cork. Marches to Kilkenny. Proceeds to London and admitted an
-out-pensioner of Chelsea. Arrives in Glasgow. Retrospect of his military
-life. Distressing state of mind. Obtains peace of conscience by hearing
-the gospel in Albion-street Chapel, and joins the church under the care
-of Dr. Wardlaw.
-
-
-POSTSCRIPT.
-
-Consists of an Address to readers in general, and to those in the army
-in particular, of what the Author wishes them to learn from the
-Narrative.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
-
-
-DEAR PASTOR,
-
-I shall now, according to the best of my ability, attempt to gratify the
-wish you several years since expressed, that I would arrange into one
-connected narrative, the various particulars I then communicated to you,
-of my previous life, and the exercises of my mind; its various workings,
-and conflicts, until the period when I was brought to the knowledge of
-Jesus, as the only and all-sufficient Saviour.
-
-In drawing up this account of myself, my motive is, to record the
-loving-kindness of the Lord to me a sinner; and if you deem it proper to
-be brought before the public in any shape, the only object I would have
-in view, is the good of my fellow sinners, particularly such as have
-been, or are, in situations of life, similar to those I have been in, or
-have experienced similar exercises of mind.
-
-Into the minutia of my early life, I do not intend to enter; and I would
-make this general remark in the outset, that my chief object is, to give
-a history of the workings of my mind, during the past part of my life,
-rather than the particulars of my life itself; but I shall narrate as
-much of these particulars as is necessary to account for, and
-illustrate, the history of my mind. I will also notice, briefly, such
-other things as may serve to entertain or inform the reader.
-
-I was born in Glasgow, in the year 1779.--When I was very young, the
-belief of the omniscience of God, was frequently strongly impressed upon
-my mind, and the thought of his all-seeing eye, often checked my
-conscience and restrained me during early life, from gratifying my own
-inclinations, to the extent I otherwise would have done. I pretty early
-learned to read; and as I grew older I became increasingly fond of it,
-even indeed to excess. I read whatever came in my way; but the Psalms of
-David in metre, in use by the church of Scotland, and the Bible, being
-the first books in which I learned to read, and having the benefit of
-godly instruction and example at home, religious knowledge was that with
-which I was most acquainted. When I was about eleven years of age, I
-went to the Sabbath school, belonging to the Outer High Church parish,
-Glasgow, then taught by Mr. Begg, (now minister of New Monkland parish,)
-and superintended by the parish minister, the late Rev. Dr. Balfour. The
-chief exercises of the school were, reading the Scriptures, and
-repeating the Assembly's Shorter Catechism. Dr. Balfour frequently
-visited the school, after the afternoon's service was over, and staid
-sometimes an hour, and sometimes even to the conclusion at six o'clock.
-When the Catechism was repeated, he interrogated us on the meaning of
-the questions, and instructed us in their import. He questioned us upon
-the sermons we had been hearing, and gave us doctrines to prove from
-scripture, by collecting all the passages, that we thought contained
-these doctrines. The doctrines were the fundamental articles of the
-Christian religion; and as we read the passages, he would tell us when
-they were in point, and when not. I was an adept at repeating the
-Catechism; but as I had no margin Bible to point out the references, I
-had to range through the whole scriptures, and exercise my judgment,
-which of course was sometimes right, and sometimes wrong. When I was
-shown that I had brought forward a passage that did not apply, it made
-me think better next time; the passages I found out I remembered where
-to find again; and those that were brought forward by others, I added to
-my own stock. This was an exercise that did me more good, than all the
-other exercises of the school: for, in after life, when I had forgotten
-the Catechism, and the other things I had committed to memory, I did not
-forget how to find in the Bible, those passages I had formerly known;
-and if I happened to be reading the Bible, and came to any of those
-passages that had been read in the school, it awakened in my mind the
-remembrance of what had taken place there. I would then recollect
-something of the impressions that had been made at the time on my mind,
-and endeavoured to remember what was said by the minister on these
-occasions; but I shall notice this again; in a future part of the
-narrative. There were rewards sometimes given to any who repeated
-chapters, psalms, or hymns. The most remarkable instance of this kind
-that took place while I was in the school, was a present by a gentleman,
-of Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, and Sermons to
-Young Persons,[1] to be given as a reward to the boy (it was a school
-for boys only) who repeated best, from memory, Dr. Watts' Divine Songs
-for Children. We received copies of the hymns, and a time was fixed for
-the trial. I was very eager to obtain the prize, and even made it a
-matter of prayer. I wished to have the book, because I had conceived to
-myself, that it would teach me how to get to heaven. When the day of
-trial came, the minister was not present, but we were heard by one of
-the elders. The greater part of the children were very young, and most
-of them had learned only a few of the hymns. There were only four that
-could go any length in them, and only three that could go completely
-through them; and their merit was so equal, that it could not be said
-which was best. I was one of those three; but as it could not be
-determined who merited the book, it was deferred until next Sabbath
-evening, when it was expected that the minister would be present. He
-came, and we repeated the hymns to him with such equal accuracy, that he
-declared he could not give the prize to one more than another; and to
-make us equal, he procured other two copies of Doddridge's Rise and
-Progress; but, as he could not find copies of his Sermons to Young
-Persons, he bound in Boston's Fourfold State in their place, and I was
-put in possession of one of them.
-
-I continued in the school about two years.
-
-In 1796, being about the age of seventeen, I enlisted as a soldier in
-the 100th regiment of foot, or Gordon Highlanders, commanded by the
-Marquis of Huntly,[2] then lying in the island of Corsica. When that
-island was evacuated by the British, the regiment came to Gibraltar, and
-I, along with the rest of the recruits, left Scotland and went to
-Chatham, where we joined other parties of recruits belonging to
-regiments lying in Gibraltar, for which place we embarked at Gravesend,
-in Nov. 1796. But the convoy with which we sailed, was forced, by stormy
-weather, to take shelter in Falmouth for six weeks; after which we
-proceeded to Lisbon, where we lay ten weeks, because the Spanish fleet
-was at sea, and ours inferior in number, was watching it. The battle of
-Cape St. Vincent, was fought while we lay there, in which the Spanish
-fleet was defeated, and four sail of the line taken, which were sent
-into Lisbon. The British fleet soon followed, except a squadron left to
-watch the Spanish fleet in Cadiz. As soon as the fleet had repaired its
-damages, it set sail for Cadiz, and we went along with it for
-protection. We left them when we came off Cadiz, and were escorted by
-some frigates, through the straits to Gibraltar, where we landed in the
-beginning of April, 1797, and joined the regiment.
-
-The general character of the army, for the profanation of God's holy
-name, is well known: and the temptations a young man has to encounter,
-from the very general practice of this vice, are very great. The
-religious instructions I had received, and the knowledge I had of the
-Scriptures, deterred me from acquiring a habit of swearing: I frequently
-reproved my comrades for it; and having done so, pride of heart also
-operated to prevent me from swearing myself, lest my comrades should, in
-ridicule, retort my reproofs upon me; and this they did not fail to do,
-if at any time I was guilty of an oath, or any thing approaching to it.
-
-During the time I had been a recruit, and the time I was in Gibraltar, I
-neglected the reading of the scriptures. In the regiment, I met with a
-variety of characters; amongst others with Deists, who attempted to
-shake my belief of the truth of the scriptures. I was greatly disturbed
-and perplexed in my mind by their arguments; but I was not drawn into
-their opinions. Yet I still neglected my Bible, and continued gradually
-losing the knowledge of it I formerly had. There was an argument, which
-had a powerful effect upon my conscience, and with which I met all the
-pleas and excuses for swearing;--I argued, that if there was no God, it
-was an absurd thing to swear by the name of a being who had no
-existence: and if there were a God, he certainly would punish the
-dishonour done to him, by the profanation of his name.
-
-There was a society of Methodists in Gibraltar, chiefly composed of men
-belonging to the different regiments in the garrison. They had a small
-place, where they had stated meetings for prayer and exhortation; there
-were a few of these Methodists in our regiment. Shortly after I joined
-it, the commanding officer gave out an order for none of the regiment to
-attend any of their meetings. What effect this order had in deterring
-any from attending at the time it was issued, I know not: it had not at
-least a permanent effect, for I know that several did attend afterwards,
-and no notice was taken of it. I went to this meeting place only once
-all the time I was in Gibraltar, and I was nearly a twelvemonth in the
-place. This shows what a careless state of mind I was in; for I may say
-it was the only religious exercise I was at, all that time. There were
-indeed prayers read to the garrison, every Sunday morning on the grand
-parade, when the weather was dry; but the chaplain was always at such a
-distance, that I never heard a word he said. There was a chapel at the
-governor's residence, where service was performed through the day, but I
-never was in it.
-
-I began to fall into company which led me frequently to get intoxicated;
-I did not indeed fall into a habit, nor acquire an inclination for
-intoxicating liquors for their own sake; but had the same circumstances
-continued, I have great reason to fear, that an appetite for them would
-have been formed, and that I might have turned out a habitual drunkard.
-Gibraltar has, indeed, peculiar temptations to produce a habit of
-drunkenness. The wine is cheap; the place is warm; and in time of war
-with Spain, there is very little fresh provisions, and what is fresh, is
-very indifferent. There is a great deal of hard labour for the soldiers,
-for part of which they get extra pay: by the evening, many of them are
-fatigued, and actually need a refreshment beyond their ordinary
-provisions; but those who need the refreshment, are not content to go
-and get what they require for themselves; they often take one or two of
-their comrades with them, and having once sat down in the wine-house,
-they generally sit until either their money is exhausted, or their time;
-(for the moment the gun fires for the men to be in their barracks, the
-wine-houses must be emptied and shut, until after the new guards are
-marched away to relieve the old ones next morning, that no soldier may
-have it in his power to get drunk before guard mounting.) Those who are
-treated one night, treat in their turn those who treated them, when they
-get pay for work.
-
-Many of the barrack-rooms are uncomfortable on account of their size,
-containing sixty or more men. This greatly destroys social comfort: for
-one or two individuals can molest all the rest; so that select retired
-conversation can not be enjoyed. Any thing of that kind is always ready
-to be interrupted by the vicious and ignorant, who do not fail to scoff
-and gibe at what they do not understand or relish themselves. Among so
-many men too, there will always be found some who take a malicious
-pleasure in making their neighbours unhappy. This renders the
-barrack-room quite uncomfortable during the evening; which, as the
-greater part are employed at work, or otherwise occupied during the day,
-is the principal time when they can be together. This, along with other
-things, induces those who have a little money, to spend the evening in
-the wine-house with their more select companions. Different sorts of
-vermin are very plenty in the barracks; and it is a common excuse for
-drinking, that they can not get a sound sleep, unless they be half
-drunk. It was customary at that time to settle the men's accounts once
-in two months; and, as very little pay was given to the soldiers over
-their rations during the intervals, the greater part had a considerable
-sum to receive: and then drinking was so very common, that to prevent a
-multiplicity of punishments, it was found necessary to have no parade,
-excepting those for guard, in order that the money might be the sooner
-done; and the different regiments in the garrison, had to take different
-days to settle their men's accounts, that the garrison might not be
-involved in one general state of intoxication at the same time. But I
-hear that matters are differently managed now; the men are oftener
-settled with, and get a larger proportion of their pay weekly, which
-prevents them from having so much money to receive at once. The most
-comfortable time I had, was when I was upon guard. There are many very
-retired guard stations; some of them in elevated situations, on the very
-summit of the rock, 1300 feet above the level of the sea, from which the
-view is truly grand, and where a fine opportunity is afforded for
-meditation. I sometimes took my Bible to guard with me, but I never made
-much use of it.
-
-We left Gibraltar, and embarked for England in the beginning of March,
-and landed at Portsmouth, 18th May, 1798, and went into Hilsea barracks.
-During the voyage I read something more in my Bible, but much more still
-in any other book I could find; sometimes it was a novel, sometimes a
-history or play: sometimes it was a book of a religious cast; but this
-was rare: I read any thing I could get, to the neglect of the Bible.
-
-Footnote 1:
-
- I have learned since the publication of the first edition, that these
- Books were the gift of Mr. Auchincloss, a gentleman who took a very
- lively interest in the Sabbath schools. He was constantly employed in
- visiting them, and in giving rewards of various kinds to those who
- behaved well, and repeated, from memory, psalms or chapters.
-
-Footnote 2:
-
- The number of the regiment was afterwards changed to the 92d, which is
- the number of it at present.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II.
-
-
-We embarked in the beginning of June for Ireland, on board of the Europa
-of 60, and the Van Tromp of 54 guns. We had a narrow escape from running
-ashore amongst the rocks, in a fog, upon the Irish coast: the fog,
-however, cleared away just in time for us to see our danger. A new scene
-began to open to us: Ireland was in a state of insurrection; and we were
-but ill informed of the nature and extent of it. We were told by a
-pilot, that we got upon the coast to conduct us into Dublin, that the
-insurgents had taken Wexford. The prospect of being engaged in a civil
-war, made me thoughtful, and agitated me not a little. On the 18th June
-we anchored in Dublin bay, and landed at the Pigeon-house in the
-evening. We were here met by Lord Huntly, our Colonel, who had been made
-a Brigadier General on the Irish staff. We remained on the mole near the
-Pigeon-house, which is about three miles from Dublin, until day-break
-next morning, and then marched into the city with drums beating and
-colours flying, announcing to the sleeping inhabitants, at the early
-hour of three o'clock, the arrival of fresh troops for the support of
-the government.
-
-As we now entered into a scene of civil war, I will take the liberty of
-stating a few of the particulars of the Irish insurrection.
-
-The city of Dublin was under strict police: patrols of cavalry paraded
-the streets during the day to prevent crowds from assembling. Numerous
-and strong guards were posted through the city and suburbs, and upon all
-the roads leading to the country. These guards were reinforced at night
-with additional garrison troops, and large parties of volunteer
-yeomanry, both horse and foot. Many citizens of the first
-respectability, and not a few of the nobility, were in the ranks of the
-yeomanry; and it was not an uncommon thing for a poor Highlander to have
-a wealthy citizen, or noble lord, posted along with him on sentry. All
-the inhabitants were ordered to be in their own houses by a set time at
-night. Strong patrols then scoured the streets and made prisoners of all
-they found upon them, and entered every house where they heard any
-disturbance. Every house had a written list of the inmates upon the
-door, and was liable to be visited during the night; and if any one was
-amissing, the owner might be taken up; or if any were in the house whose
-names were not on the door, or if any one was found in his neighbour's
-house, he was taken up and fined before being set at liberty. Every
-precaution was used, to prevent plots from being formed, and all means
-was used to find them out. In such a state of society, opportunity is
-afforded to private malice and ill-will, to injure the objects of their
-enmity. When I was upon the Grand Barrack guard, two respectable old
-citizens were brought in prisoners. They were men who were unfit, and
-very unlikely to have any active hand in conspiracy against the state.
-They were confined in the guard-room all that day and night; whether
-they were liberated next day after I was relieved, or removed to some
-other place, I know not. While they were in the guard-room, they were
-exposed to the interrogatories of the ignorant and unthinking, who took
-every such prisoner to be an insurgent. They were protected, however, by
-the interposition of the more intelligent and humane. I had a little
-conversation with them, and they told me it was their belief, that it
-was an apprentice of theirs with whom they had a difference on account
-of bad behaviour, who had, out of revenge, given false accusation
-against them; such as, that they were holding correspondence with the
-insurgents in the country, &c. They told me that such cases were
-frequent. Every person accused was taken up, and kept until the case
-should be examined: and as this, from the great number daily
-apprehended, could not be instantly done, individuals often suffered
-seriously, before they obtained their release.
-
-The conduct of persons, whose political sentiments or behaviour, were in
-any measure suspicious, was closely watched. And when they were found
-transgressing any of the police rules, their cases were strictly
-examined. I saw an instance of this, in the case of a respectable
-gentleman, who was confined in the same guard-room upon another day. He
-had been found out of his own house after the appointed time at night.
-He pled that he was only a short time in a neighbour's house: and that
-the person in whose house he was, was himself a very loyal man, and a
-yeoman. He said he had always been a very loyal man himself. He
-acknowledged, that at a certain public meeting, (which had taken place
-some time previous to this) where a certain political question had been
-discussed, he had spoken warmly, _too warmly_; but that that was the
-only thing in the course of his life, that could have any tendency to
-create any suspicion of his loyalty. He remained in the common
-guard-room during the day, and was removed to another place at night. He
-was liberated next morning when I saw him, and he told me, that nothing
-farther than his being out of his own house at night was brought against
-him; and that he had gotten his liberty on condition of paying ten
-pounds to the fund for the relief of the widows and children of soldiers
-who had fallen in the insurrection. He said that he happened to have as
-much money upon him, and that he paid it cheerfully; for those that were
-to get it well deserved it. I mention these cases as certain evils
-arising out of a state of civil war.
-
-During the time we lay in Dublin, the insurrection was raging in various
-parts of the country, and much blood was shedding. Dublin itself was
-kept in a state of tranquillity, by the vigilance of the police, and the
-power of the military. Our stay in it was short. On the 1st of July, the
-volunteer cavalry were employed in going through the city, pressing all
-the coaches, gigs, and other vehicles, and collecting them in one of the
-squares. At six o'clock at night we paraded, and went into them, and set
-off for Arklow. We travelled all night. We were all accommodated at the
-outset, but fell into considerable confusion on the way, by some of the
-coachmen getting drunk, and striving to get past one another; which
-caused several of the carriages to break down, and others, by running
-into ditches, to upset. It was conjectured that some of the coachmen did
-this wilfully, from aversion to the service they were upon. Numbers had
-thus to walk in the rain, which was heavy; and several had their muskets
-damaged, by the breaking down or upsetting of the carriages. One man had
-his firelock completely bent; and when he was asked by the people of the
-villages through which we passed, what kind of a gun _that_ was, he told
-them it was one of a new construction, for the purpose of shooting round
-corners.
-
-As we advanced into the country, we began to see the effects of the
-insurrection. Burnt houses began to make their appearance in the
-villages, and their number increased as we proceeded. The coaches
-carried us to about three miles from Arklow, and then returned to
-Dublin. We entered Arklow in the evening. The place had been attacked by
-a large body of insurgents a few days before, who had been repulsed with
-great slaughter. They had some pieces of artillery, with which they had
-dismounted one of the guns of the military, and damaged some of the
-houses. They had also burnt that part of the town that lay next the
-sea-side, which was composed of low thatched houses, and was inhabited
-by fishermen. It was a very pitiable sight to see this scene of
-destruction; and those of my comrades who went to the ground where the
-insurgents had stood during the action, said it was disgusting. Numbers
-of dead bodies were still unburied; some of them lying in ditches, and
-the swine feeding on them. There was a number of prisoners in the place,
-who had been taken, whom they were trying by court-martial, and hanging;
-but I was not an eye-witness to any executions in this place. A part of
-the regiment was stationed in the church, which was not a large one.
-This was a new kind of quarters, but every part was occupied, pulpit and
-all; and the grave stones were the place where we cleaned our arms.
-
-The insurgents were still in a body upon one of the hills in the
-vicinity, and kept the place in alarm; and we had frequently to stand to
-our arms during the night. On the fourth of July, we paraded in the
-street at 12 o'clock at night, in great haste. The right wing of the
-regiment got three days bread served out, when we marched away in a
-great hurry, without giving the left wing any. I was in the left wing,
-and had only a few crumbs left of that day's rations. We marched very
-quickly through by-roads; and when day began to break, we made a short
-pause, and loaded our muskets,--the first time I had done so in the
-expectation of fighting. There was a high hill before us, (called White
-Heaps) whose top was covered with mist, and that side which was next to
-us was very steep. The insurgents were said to be on the top of it.
-Their number, we afterwards learned, was 5000; of whom 1500 had
-firelocks, the rest pikes. There were about six troops of cavalry along
-with us: but our whole number did not amount to 1200, without artillery.
-We ascended the hill with difficulty, without being perceived by those
-on the top, the mist concealing us from each other. When we had nearly
-reached the summit, and had entered into the mist that covered it, our
-front was challenged by the insurgent sentinels, who demanded the
-countersign, to which the Lieutenant Colonel replied, "You shall have it
-in a minute." We moved a little further and formed our line. The fog
-cleared up a little for a minute, when we found that our left was near
-the enemy, who were collecting themselves into three bodies. The ground
-betwixt us and them was a wet bog; and the commander of the cavalry told
-our commanding officer, that if he advanced, the cavalry would not be
-able to act in such marshy ground as that before us. The fog again
-covered us, so that we could not see them, and a gust of wind, with a
-shower of rain, induced us to stand still. The insurgents then gave a
-loud cheer, and then a second, and they began a third; but it died away,
-and was not so full or loud as the others. We expected to be instantly
-attacked, as this was their signal of attack. They, however, had
-imagined that we were much stronger than what we were; and being
-terrified by the suddenness of our appearance, in place of coming
-forward to attack, they fled in great haste down the opposite side of
-the hill. We stood in uncertainty for some time, as we could see
-nothing; then hearing the fire of two guns, we moved in that direction,
-and got out of the fog, and descended the hill on the side opposite to
-that which we had ascended. We then learned that the insurgents had gone
-down the hill; and, having fallen in with another division of the army,
-had come upon them before they could get fully formed, and had come
-close to the guns, when they were fired upon and repulsed. It had been
-arranged, that different bodies of troops should have mounted the hill
-on opposite sides at the same time; but we had been sooner than the
-others, which disarranged the plan. The insurgents continued to fly, the
-cavalry went forward in pursuit, and we followed with all possible
-haste. When we reached the foot of the hill, I saw four of the
-insurgents lying dead. We continued to march with great haste, and
-frequently changed our route. We heard firing at no great distance; but
-the parties were always gone before we came up. The road was strewed
-with old clothes, oatmeal, oat bread, and dough, thrown away by the
-insurgents in their flight. The dragoons killed a great number of them
-in the fields. The insurgents, in their flight, fell in with some
-baggage belonging to some of the other divisions; attacked the guard,
-and killed and wounded several, before the rest of the army could come
-to their assistance; the insurgents were then totally dispersed, and a
-great many killed and wounded; but our regiment never could arrive in
-time to take share in any of the actions. Several women were among the
-dead, who were shot in the ranks of the insurgents. We had a most
-fatiguing march, of upwards of thirty Irish miles. In the evening we
-arrived at the town of Gorey, as did also two other divisions of the
-army.
-
-One thing I would particularly notice here, is the _ferocity_ of civil
-war; it has barbarities not now practised in the national wars of
-Europe. In one spot, where seven had fled to a house, in which they were
-killed, their bodies had been brought out to the road side, where they
-lay, shamefully uncovered, and some of them mangled in a manner too
-indelicate to mention. At another place, I saw an insurgent, who had
-been taken and dragged by the hair of his head, which was long, for some
-distance along the road, and then shot through the heart. It was said,
-he was unwilling to inform upon the rest of the insurgents. Numerous and
-shocking barbarities were committed on both sides, sometimes originating
-in animosity, sometimes in wanton cruelty, and at other times in
-retaliation.
-
-I was witness to a scene of the latter kind a few days after, in the
-town of Gorey. A man was brought to the back of the camp, to be hanged
-upon a tree on the road side, by a party of an English fencible
-regiment. The man was scarcely suspended, when the officer of the party
-fired the contents of two pistols into the body, and then drew his sword
-and ran it into it. I then turned from the sight with disgust; but those
-of my comrades who stayed, told me that the body was lowered down from
-the tree upon the road; that the soldiers of the party perforated it
-with their bayonets, cut off the head, cut it in pieces, and threw them
-about, tossing them in the air, calling out, "Who will have this?" They
-then dug a hole on the opposite side of the road, and buried the body
-and the mangled pieces of the head, in the presence of a few of the
-unhappy man's friends. I was informed that he had been a judge in the
-insurgent army for trying their prisoners: that a brother of the officer
-of the party had been taken prisoner by the insurgents, and had been
-sentenced by this man to be piked to death: and that this was the reason
-why he had been so used.
-
-Piking to death was what the insurgents practised upon those of the
-king's troops that fell into their hands, particularly if they remained
-firm in their allegiance. The common method was for "two to stand
-behind, and two before the victim, and thrust their pikes into his body
-at once, and raise it from the ground, holding it suspended, writhing
-with pain, while any signs of life appeared. At other times, two men,
-with pikes, would come before the victim, and begin to stab him in the
-feet, and then the legs, and thighs, and belly, until they reached the
-heart. At other times they literally perforated the body all over, with
-pike wounds." Such barbarities could not fail to produce desire of
-revenge. But, as our regiment had not been in the country during the
-out-breaking of the insurrection, we had received no injury to provoke
-our resentment. And as we had not been employed in the execution of any
-of the rigorous measures resorted to by the government to prevent the
-insurrection, no one had any ill will against us. We were called into
-the service of suppressing this unhappy and calamitous insurrection,
-after it had begun to decline, and we were rather witnesses of its
-ruinous and distressing effects, than active hands in suppressing it by
-force. For it so happened, that although we several times pursued
-considerable bodies of the insurgents through the mountains, and were at
-times pretty close upon them, yet no one of us fired a musket, with the
-exception of one or two, who did it without orders, on the morning of
-the 5th July, on the White Heaps: neither was a musket fired at us; and
-the only loss the regiment sustained during this service, occurred one
-morning when we were pursuing a body of insurgents among the mountains.
-One of our men having fallen behind through weakness, was met by two or
-three insurgents in women's clothes, carrying pails of milk on their
-heads, as if returning from milking. They offered him drink; and, while
-he was drinking, one of them seized his musket, and after threatening to
-kill him, they allowed him to proceed to the regiment, with the loss of
-his musket and ammunition.
-
-The sight of so many houses and villages, and parts of towns, burned and
-destroyed, and the great number of women and children, who were in a
-destitute state, because their husbands and fathers were either gone
-with the insurgents, or were fled for safety, touched most powerfully
-the sensibilities of our hearts, and diffused a feeling of generous
-sympathy through the regiment. It so happened at that time, that we had
-newly received a more than ordinary balance of arrears of pay, so that
-every man was in possession of money, less or more; and although we were
-very fond of milk, because we had been long living upon salt provisions,
-before our arrival in Ireland, yet there were none who would accept of a
-draught of milk for nothing, but would pay its price. And if the people
-of the house would not take payment, they would give the value of what
-milk they received to the children.
-
-As this conduct in soldiers is more rare than even conspicuous courage
-in the field, the truth of what is here asserted, may be the more ready
-to be questioned. I shall, therefore, take the liberty of inserting a
-quotation from Gordon's History of the Irish Rebellion. The author of
-that work is a clergyman, whose residence appears to have been in the
-vicinity of Gorey, and who had a personal knowledge of what took place
-there at that time. That author complains of the losses sustained by the
-inhabitants from the insurgents and the soldiery: he says, "on the
-arrival of the Marquis of Huntly, however, with his regiment of Scottish
-Highlanders, in Gorey, the scene was totally altered. To the immortal
-honour of this regiment, its behaviour was such, as, if it were
-universal among soldiers, would render a military government amiable. To
-the astonishment of the (until then miserably harassed) peasantry, not
-the smallest trifle, even a drink of butter milk, would any of these
-Highlanders accept, without the payment of at least the full
-value."--Gordon's History of the Irish Rebellion, 2d edit Lond. p. 240.
-
-When we entered the town of Gorey, it was, in great part, deserted by
-the inhabitants. Nothing was to be procured for money. After the very
-fatiguing march we had on the day we entered it, we received one biscuit
-and one glass of whiskey. On the next day we marched to a considerable
-distance, in quest of the insurgents, and returned back; we got a
-draught of milk, and one day's allowance of boiled beef, which had
-arrived from Arklow; but no bread.--The day was very warm, and I was
-considerably exhausted. That day passed over, and the next day, until
-the evening, without any word of any more provisions. The dread of
-having to pass another night in our present hungry state, determined
-other two and myself, to go in quest of something that we could eat. We
-saw some who had purchased some old potatoes at the mill of the place.
-We made all haste to the mill; but the potatoes were all sold. We felt
-disappointed; but, observing that the mill was at work, we entered it to
-see what was grinding. We found a man attending the mill, who said he
-was not the miller, but had just set the mill to work to grind some
-barley. There were but a few handfuls ground; and we resolved, rather
-than want, that we would wait until some greater quantity was done, when
-we would endeavour to get it cleaned, so as to be capable of being
-turned into food. After stopping a few seconds in the mill, I began to
-look about, when I perceived a number of sacks that were, less or more,
-filled with something: I said to my comrades, "Perhaps there may be
-something in some of these sacks that will serve us: we had better
-examine them and see." We were indeed loath to touch any thing; but we
-were in absolute want of food, and were willing to pay for it. Observing
-a sack about half full, standing beneath another that was full, and was
-bent over it, we thought we would see what was in the broken sack first.
-We instantly removed the full sack, and, to our great joy, we found the
-other was about half full of excellent oatmeal, ready for use. The
-miller's wife came in, in great agitation, and said, that she durst not
-sell it, for it belonged to a gentleman in the neighbourhood, who was a
-Captain of the Yeomen. I replied, that we were in absolute need, and
-must have it; but that we would pay a fair market price for it, which
-she could give to the gentleman who owned the meal; that he would likely
-be able to procure a supply to himself elsewhere; that he perhaps was
-not in the immediate want of it, but that we were, and did not know any
-where else to find it; and that she might state this to the owner, and
-that would remove all blame from her. She assented to the justice of
-this; and said, that one shilling and six-pence was a fair price for the
-stone weight. The weights were quickly erected; we weighed a stone, paid
-the price, and set out to get it cooked, leaving a number more of our
-comrades, who had come to the mill, to be supplied in the same way as we
-had been. While passing along the street, looking for an inhabited
-house, where we might get our meal cooked, we met other three of our
-comrades, who had gone to the country in quest of provisions, but could
-get nothing but milk, of which they had their canteens full. We agreed
-that we would give them a share of our meal for a share of their milk.
-We then went into a house, in which was a woman with one child. She said
-her husband was a blacksmith, and that the insurgents had forced him to
-go with them, to forge their pikes.[3] We told her that we wanted her to
-make us some porridge, and that she should get a share of it for her
-trouble. She instantly cleaned her pot, (which was but a small one,) and
-got it on the fire. We procured some wood for fuel; and, the first pot
-full being soon made, and poured into a dish to cool, we desired her to
-make haste and get the second ready, for we were very hungry, and what
-was in the dish would do little to fill us: we then sat down, all six,
-to satisfy our hunger. What was in the dish would have been a very
-scanty meal for three; yet, after we had eagerly swallowed a few
-spoonfuls, we began to slacken our speed, and (although the milk and
-porridge were exceedingly good) to swallow them slowly, and with
-difficulty; and we were all reluctantly compelled to leave off before
-our little mess was nearly finished, and the poor woman got the remains,
-and the second pot full for her trouble. We told her, that we would call
-back next day after parade, to get another meal. On returning to our
-quarters, we found that our provisions had arrived in our absence; but
-as we could not know that they were to arrive that night, we felt
-satisfied with what we had done. We did call back at our cook's next
-day; and, after taking a little more porridge, desired her to make use
-of the rest of that meal as she needed it, for that we had now got
-plenty of other provision, and were not likely to require it.
-
-The town and adjacent country were in a most distressing state. Numbers
-of the cattle were going through the corn-fields, and destroying more
-than they were eating. The milk-cows were lowing most piteously for want
-of being milked. And as the town had been more than once in the hands of
-the insurgents, the alternate movements of the army and the insurgents
-created always fresh alarm to the peaceable and helpless, who were
-liable to suffer by every change. The insurgents harassed those who did
-not join with them; and when the insurgents had to fly, the soldiers
-harassed those whom they found at home, on pretence that they were
-friends or favourers of the insurgents: so that it was next to
-impossible, for even those who were unable to take any part on either
-side, to escape being involved in the distresses attendant on the
-quarrel.
-
-The following circumstance will in part show this. Three of our men went
-from Gorey, to the country, in quest of provisions; (I think it was the
-same three that gave us milk formerly.) They went to a farm house, into
-which they entered, but could find no one within. They went through all
-the apartments, but could discover no one. They saw that the fire was
-unextinguished; the milk, and every thing about the house, showed that
-the inhabitants could not be far away. When they had waited a good
-while, in the hope that some of them might make their appearance, a
-young child came into the house. This convinced them that the mother
-could not be far off. They spoke kindly to the child, and gave it a
-penny. It then left them, and in a short time reappeared with its mother
-and the rest of the women and children belonging to the house. The
-soldiers told them that they wanted to buy some milk; to which they
-replied, that they might take whatever they wanted, and welcome. The
-soldiers said, they did not want any thing for nothing, but would pay
-for what they got; but the women insisted that they should take freely
-what they wanted, and said, that was not the way they had been used by
-the soldiers that had visited them before, for they took what they
-wanted without asking their liberty, and sometimes ill used themselves;
-adding, "We saw you coming, and we were afraid, and went and hid
-ourselves; but when the child came into our hiding-place, and showed us
-a penny it had got from you, this encouraged us to make our appearance;
-and God bless you, take what you want freely." The soldiers got their
-canteens filled with milk, but the inhabitants had no other provisions
-that they could spare. They then left them, (after giving the children
-as many pence as they thought the milk was worth,) highly pleased with
-their visit.
-
-We stayed in the town of Gorey a fortnight, during which time public
-confidence was greatly restored. The bulk of the inhabitants had
-returned, and the grocers' shops began to be replenished. There was no
-whiskey, or drink of any kind, to be had when we entered it; but whiskey
-was distilled and sold some days previous to our departure, which
-consumed the soldiers' money much faster than the buying of milk did,
-although the milk was by far the preferable article, had they been so
-wise as to have contented themselves with it. We left Gorey, and had two
-days march to Blessington, twelve miles from Dublin. Our route led us
-through a part of the country that had suffered severely. Almost every
-change of landscape presented to our view the roofless walls of cabins
-and of gentlemen's country seats, many of which were spacious and
-elegant. The populous village of Carnew, where we halted for a night,
-had been almost totally burnt. The inhabitants had sheltered themselves
-within the walls of their cabins the best way they could; but, in wet
-weather, their condition was pitiful. A great part of the town of
-Blessington had also been destroyed. We pitched our tents in the rear of
-the Marquis of Downshire's fine house, which had also been burnt. A
-large body of military was encamped in the pleasure grounds, and great
-openings were made in the walls and hedges to admit of a ready
-communication between the different parts of the camp, and every thing
-was in a ruinous state. We were here put under the orders of Sir John
-Moore, then a Major General, and in a few days he marched with our
-regiment, and the Hompesch dragoons, and two pieces of artillery, and
-encamped in the glen of Eimal, among the mountains of Wicklow; where
-several detached bodies of insurgents were still in arms. When we
-entered the glen, which was a fruitful valley of considerable extent,
-the inhabitants kept their houses, because some of the military, who had
-been there before us, had spread a report that we were uncommonly
-ferocious. But this impression was of short duration; we were soon great
-favourites with them, and our camp became a place of public resort,
-particularly upon Sundays. The young men and women were entertained with
-whiskey, music, and dancing; to which exercise they were encouraged by
-the attendance and approbation of a neighbouring Catholic priest, who
-excited the young women to dance with the military, even with very
-profane language. This drew forth the remarks of the soldiers; and even
-the most openly profane among them condemned their own sins when
-committed by a priest.--A circumstance of a different kind took place
-here, which was remarked as uncommon among us. Two of the soldiers
-quarrelled, and had a long vociferous wrangle, consisting chiefly in
-profane oaths and curses. They were not far from the Major's tent; (the
-Major was a Catholic;) he was so disgusted at the horrid profanity of
-their language, that he ordered them extra drill, as a punishment, and
-complained to Lord Huntly, who gave out an order prohibiting the
-practice, and threatening to put the Articles of War in force, and to
-fine every man in a shilling for every oath. This was a temporary check
-to the very public commission of it, but it was only of short duration;
-for the practice was too general among all ranks, and the order was soon
-as if it had never been.
-
-While we lay in this camp, Sir John Moore marched twice with us into the
-interior of the mountains, where the insurgents still kept in small
-bodies. They made a show of resistance, but fled when we got near them.
-We pursued them slowly; Sir John did not allow any to fire at them,
-though it might, at times, have been done. It appeared to be his
-intention to intimidate them from remaining in arms, and by showing them
-forbearance, to induce them to return to their allegiance. This wise
-conduct of the general, along with the conciliatory behaviour of the
-soldiers, had a happy effect. For, during the time that we were encamped
-here, the greater part of them came in and delivered up their arms. The
-whole would have submitted in the course of a day or two, if the French
-had not landed at Killala. It was said, that the only remaining leaders
-were in the camp, and had left it to fetch in their followers the next
-day; but that the report of the French having landed[4] reaching them in
-the evening, revived their hopes of a revolution: and, our marching
-suddenly away next morning to oppose the French, confirmed them in the
-belief that they were in great force. In consequence of this, they
-remained in arms during the autumn and winter, committing petty
-depredations, and skulking among the mountains. It was lamentable to see
-the ignorance of the people who had been in arms. They were indeed no
-judges of political questions. Petty local animosity, and an aversion to
-Protestants, was all that operated with the great body of them; and
-beyond these, they could not be made to look by those who saw farther.
-
-Their bigotry to the Romish religion was so strong, that although their
-oaths, as united Irishmen, bound them to "persevere in endeavouring to
-form a brotherhood of affection among Irishmen of _every_ religious
-persuasion," they were no sooner up in arms, than they began to show
-that Protestants would not be tolerated. They put many Protestants to
-death, in the most cruel manner, some of whom were fighting in their own
-ranks. And had they succeeded in overturning the government, they would
-not have spared even those Protestant gentlemen that were their chief
-leaders, nor yet those of their own communion that were favourers of
-toleration. Their secular leaders, whether Protestant or Catholic, were
-soon convinced, that because they did not approve of intolerance, their
-lives would fall a sacrifice to their own party if it was successful.
-They preferred surrendering themselves to the clemency of the
-government, as soon as it was in their power, to staying among the
-insurgents; for, although they had forfeited their lives by their
-insurrection, they had a greater chance of being spared by the clemency
-of the government, than of escaping the bigotry of those whom they
-themselves had stirred up to rise in arms against it. One Garret Byrne,
-a Roman Catholic gentleman, of landed property, surrendered after the
-affair of the White Heaps, and was sent to our camp, and was employed by
-Sir John Moore to guide us through the mountains, when we went in
-pursuit of the insurgents.
-
-Disaffection had spread among the Protestants of the north, as well as
-among the Papists of the south; but, as soon as the Protestants in the
-north heard that the insurrection had taken a religious turn in the
-south, they were glad to be quiet, for they instantly saw that their
-safety (they being by far the fewer number) lay in the preservation of
-the government. This freed the government from the resistance of the
-Protestant insurgents of the north; who, from the superiority of their
-intelligence, were more to be dreaded than the Catholics of the south.
-Want of subordination in the insurgent armies, also, contributed
-materially to render the insurrection abortive. Their notions of
-liberty, for which they ignorantly pretended to be fighting, were of
-such a nature as to render every attempt to train them to arms utterly
-vain. They said, we are the sovereign people--we are free--we will not
-be drilled like those slaves of government, the red coats. To be drilled
-like a soldier was a degree of subordination which they had never been
-subject to; and, when they had been persuaded by those who stirred them
-up to insurrection, that they were slaves, and that they would obtain
-freedom by rising in arms, they could not see the consistency of this,
-with submitting to the slavery of being drilled like soldiers. Indeed,
-their actions showed that the liberty for which _they were fighting_,
-was a liberty to violate the laws of God and man, and indulge in
-licentiousness, riot, and dissipation, and the cruelties of
-superstition.
-
-We had a long fatiguing march to the opposite coast of Ireland. We never
-came in contact with the French, but we were extremely glad when we
-heard of their surrender, as we were weary with hard marching. We
-escorted them as prisoners one day's march; their number was then, of
-all ranks, somewhat about 800. When they landed, they were 1100,
-(Gordon's History of the Irish Rebellion, p. 294.) There were several
-amongst them who had been prisoners in Corsica when our regiment was
-there, and they recognised some of our men as having been guards over
-them there.
-
-They had brought a large quantity of arms, accoutrements, and clothing
-from France, to equip the Irish insurgents, many of whom had joined them
-after they had taken the town of Castlebar; but the major part left
-them, and went away with the arms, accoutrements, and clothing they had
-received, as soon as the French began to drill them. Muskets had been
-given to five thousand five hundred in Castlebar, but there were only
-about fifteen hundred that accompanied the French on their march from
-that place to Ballinamuck, where the French surrendered, when 500 of
-them were killed, and the rest dispersed. They were also dangerous as
-well as useless allies to the French; for they were not disposed to give
-quarter to prisoners. I heard of an instance of an insurgent who killed
-a soldier that had been taken prisoner: one of the French cavalry
-instantly cut the insurgent down with his sword. This restraint did not
-suit the sanguinary temper of the insurgents; but the French well knew
-that if their allies did not give quarter, no quarter would be given to
-them. The alliance was also very incongruous; for the insurgents were
-all bigotted Catholics, and the French enthusiastic infidels, who openly
-boasted that they had lately driven Mr. Pope out of Italy, and had not
-expected to find him so suddenly in Ireland. They smiled at the
-simplicity of the Irish, when they heard them declare that they came to
-take arms for France and the blessed Virgin. The priests were treated
-with the utmost contempt by the French general, although it was his
-interest to have acted otherwise. There can be no doubt that, although
-the French had succeeded in revolutionizing Ireland, their religious
-difference would have produced a new war between them and the Irish.
-
-We did not return to the Wicklow mountains; but encamped during the
-autumn at Moat, twelve miles from Athlone, which is near the centre of
-Ireland; and, when winter set in, we went into Athlone for winter
-quarters. The number of the regiment was changed at this time from the
-100th to the 92d.
-
-We lay there from the end of October, 1798, to June, 1799. In this place
-it pleased God to lead my mind to serious and deep reflection, and to
-begin a work of sharp conviction, such as I had never before
-experienced. There was a Catholic Chapel, an English Church, and a
-Wesleyan Methodist Meeting-house in the town. In the Methodist
-Meeting-house, there were always public prayers evening and morning, and
-sermon on the Lord's day, and often twice a week in the evenings. I
-attended the Meeting-house pretty closely, and began to read my Bible
-with more than common attention. I reviewed my past life, and found that
-I was an exceeding great sinner in the sight of God: and God's goodness
-as my Creator, and merciful Preserver, appeared to my view in a much
-stronger light than ever it had done before. I read several religious
-books, amongst which were Baxter's Call to the Unconverted, and Young's
-Night Thoughts. The subject of life, death, and immortality, occupied my
-thoughts very much; the conviction of my ingratitude, in sinning against
-God, often made me weep in secret; and the fear of falling into the
-hands of a justly offended God, frequently made me shudder. The words of
-Scripture, "Repent and turn to the Lord," were strongly impressed upon
-my mind. I saw there was no salvation without pardon, and no pardon
-without repentance. I wept for my sins, and earnestly besought God to
-forgive them. I read the Scriptures, and found, as I imagined, pardon
-promised to the penitent. I followed, as far as circumstances permitted,
-in point of form, Baxter's directions. I devoted myself to God, and
-vowed to forsake sin, and to live a godly life for the future. I made
-this resolution in sincerity of heart, my understanding being convinced
-that it was my duty to hate sin, because God hated it; and that if I
-regarded sin in my heart, God would not hear my prayers, nor pardon my
-transgressions. I then began to attempt the performance of what I saw
-was my duty. I began to hunger and thirst after personal holiness; but
-of the nature of justification, by faith in the imputed righteousness of
-Christ, I had no conception; and of the nature and design of his
-sufferings, my ideas were very confused and erroneous. It was a sense of
-sin that pained my conscience, and I sought for relief in personal
-reformation, and founded my hope of pardon for the past, and of eternal
-life, in the success of the reformation, I had now commenced. Being
-convinced that I was liable to many and strong temptations, and that the
-conquest of sin would be no easy work, I conceived that it was my
-wisdom, as well as duty, to have recourse to every thing that could
-strengthen me against temptation, and assist me in the arduous task of
-working out what I conceived to be my salvation.
-
-When under this temper of mind, I happened, with a number of other
-soldiers of the regiment, to be at the meeting-house one evening; and
-after the ordinary service of praise and prayer was over, the preacher
-desired the soldiers to remain, intimating that he had something to say
-to us. He then addressed us, on the propriety of joining in a class
-meeting, informing us how many soldiers had joined in a class meeting,
-in a neighbouring town, in his circuit. He said that some of us might
-scruple, because he was not of the same religious principles as those we
-had been brought up in. This might be true; but he remarked that we had
-no opportunity of joining with those, who were of the principles in
-which we might have been educated, there being none in the place; that,
-if we chose to form a class meeting, he did not require that we should
-be of the same principles with him in every thing; but that if we were
-concerned for the salvation of our souls, it would be for our benefit,
-while we were absent from home, to be united together, for the purpose
-of social worship and instruction.--I thought the proposal candid and
-reasonable, and put down my name, as one willing to join in a class
-meeting. I thought it would be a means of helping me in the work of
-personal reformation. For a short time I went on pretty well in my own
-estimation, abstaining from any thing that was open and flagrant; but
-secret sins overcame me, although I had set myself to resist them with
-all my might; and this broke my peace of mind. It happened, that there
-were a number of the regiment, and amongst them some of my own comrades,
-taken ill with dysentery; and several died of the disorder. This alarmed
-me much. I began more seriously than ever, to contemplate the
-uncertainty of life. I read seriously, and with great attention, those
-portions of Young's Night Thoughts that treat on that subject. I entered
-fully into the spirit of the poet, and applied to my conscience his
-reflections. My security of life was completely broken. Every night I
-lay down to sleep, I was afraid I might never awake, and every morning I
-arose, I was afraid I might die before night. I would say to myself in
-the morning, "Some of my fellow creatures, who are living at this
-moment, will be dead before night; and how can I tell but I may be one
-of them!" This subject never made so strong an impression on my mind as
-at this time. I never was so much afraid of death, except on occasions
-of evident danger. I could no longer place death at a distance. I saw
-myself in danger of being snatched away every moment in numberless ways,
-and put the question to myself, "Were I to die this moment, what hope
-have I of escaping hell and getting to heaven?" and I concluded, that I
-had no hope of heaven whatever, but every reason to fear that hell
-should be my portion.
-
-I then began to look around me; and compare myself with the bulk of my
-comrades. I thought I was not so bad as they were. I began to reason
-with myself, that if God was to send _me_ to hell for _my sins_, surely
-those that were worse than I was, would also be condemned; and, if that
-was the case, how few would there be that would escape! I would fondly
-have indulged the idea, that surely God would not be so severe, as to
-condemn so many, and would fain have cherished the hope, that because I
-was not so bad as the major part of those I knew, I should have a chance
-to escape. But when I reviewed my past life in the light of the word of
-God, I found nothing but condemnation; for I perceived that that word
-took cognisance of the quality of sin, as well as the quantity, and
-condemned both sins secret and sins open: I began to remember the means
-that I had enjoyed above others, of religious instruction and
-information; and the declaration of our Lord, "To whom much is given, of
-them shall much be required," rang in my ears. I remembered the
-impressions made upon my mind by early religious instructions; I
-recollected the resolutions I had made to forsake sin, and the
-convictions which had produced these resolutions; I thought of my
-breaches of these resolutions, and my former forgetfulness and
-indifference: and more particularly, my failing in keeping my last most
-solemn vow. I began to meditate and consider of God's dealings with me
-as an individual: and of the account he would require of me _as an
-individual sinner_. I no longer durst compare myself with other men. I
-knew not the extent, in number and heinousness, of any other man's sins.
-I knew not their secret sins and evil purposes of heart; and as God
-would bring all manner of sin into judgment, I durst no longer think in
-my heart that I was a whit better than the most wicked and profane
-person I knew; for I knew more evil of myself than I had known, or could
-know of another. This led me to look more strictly into my own heart,
-and to examine what was done in it, as I found that the word of God
-discerned the thoughts of the heart. This led me to investigate the
-_motives_ of my actions, and then I found that I did nothing that was
-pure. I called to mind the past goodness of God, the many mercies and
-deliverances he had given me; I reflected on my ungrateful behaviour,
-and was filled with wonder and astonishment that a God of such awful
-majesty, should have spared such an ungrateful and vile wretch so long;
-I was led afresh to consider, "What shall I do to escape the just
-vengeance of Almighty God?" and my resolution was to repent afresh of my
-sins, and devote my future life, with greater resolution to his glory. I
-durst not delay my repentance to a more convenient time, because the
-fear of death stared me in the face; and I was convinced, that as death
-left me, judgment would find me. I trembled at the thought of being
-called, by death, before the awful tribunal of God. I had nothing to
-look to on the one hand, but a broken law; and a holy, sin-avenging God
-on the other. This made me earnestly wish for the pardon of my sins, and
-I resolved that I would do any thing whatever that would procure it.
-
-I read the Scriptures, but chiefly in the Old Testament, often in
-Isaiah. To the clearer light of the New Testament, I did not so much
-attend. Its clear evangelical language did not strike my mind with that
-force as to fix my attention upon it. From those parts of the Scripture
-that caught my attention, I formed the following opinions:--that God
-promised mercy to the penitent returning sinner: this gave me a gleam of
-hope, which I believe prevented me from sinking into absolute despair;
-but I did not understand the nature of evangelical repentance, or the
-way by which the penitent should come to God, in order to be accepted.
-The state of my mind at that time was this; I thought that if I
-sincerely repented of my past sins, and did not commit sin for the
-future, God would pardon my sins. I also promised myself, that if I
-truly, and seriously, resolved to serve God for the future period of my
-life, God would on this account, give me strength to resist every kind
-of temptation, and to overcome every desire to sin. I promised myself,
-that, by constant endeavours, and unremitting exertions, I should
-overcome all obstacles, and finally merit eternal life. I saw that God
-required of the penitent sinner, future obedience: I was convinced that
-this was just: I thought that God did not require any thing but what he
-had given us power to perform, if we were but willing to do so. I
-resolved to be willing, and to try my strength to the utmost. I thought
-that if I did meet with any thing that was too hard for my present
-strength, God would give me additional strength; but that the only way
-to honour God was to use the power that he had already given me. I
-thought it would be affronting God to ask more, until I had first proved
-the insufficiency of what I now possessed: and that it would be
-insulting to divine goodness, to be seeking that which was already
-bestowed upon me. Under this frame of mind, I set about the performance
-of religious duties. I prayed more frequently and fervently; I read the
-Scriptures with greater diligence and attention; I abstained from every
-thing that was in my opinion sinful. But my past sins were still painful
-to me, because I was not yet assured that they were or should be
-pardoned. I was, however, certain that if I continued to commit sin, I
-should get no pardon, but if I forsook sin, I _might_ obtain pardon. The
-spirit of my prayers was, entreating God to pardon my sins, and
-promising to lead a holy life in future.
-
-While in this state of mind, I went one evening to the meeting-house,
-and as I was returning to the barracks, pondering in my mind my guilt,
-as a sinner, and the goodness and sparing mercy of God, the powers of my
-mind having been buoyed up by the fervour of the exhortations and
-prayers I had heard, a sudden emotion started all at once into my mind,
-that my sins were pardoned by God, that God had promised pardon to such
-as me; and that all that was required was, that I should believe that
-God had pardoned my sins; that God was faithful to his promise, and it
-would be to me, even according to my faith. This emotion had a powerful
-influence upon me. It gave peace to my mind, for I took it to be one of
-those manifestations of the Spirit, spoken of by those who preached,
-exhorted, and prayed, at the meeting-house. Under the impressions
-produced by it, I went on very smoothly, abstaining from sins, to which
-I had formerly been a slave. I now thought myself happy, and promised to
-myself, that I would now be able to live such a life, as should be
-pleasing to God, and should procure and retain his favour.
-
-But I must here add, that this impression that my sins were actually
-pardoned, was not accompanied with any increase of light to my
-understanding of the way in which God forgives sin. I was as blind to
-the nature of the great doctrines of the justifying righteousness and
-atoning blood of Christ, as I had been before. The views which at this
-time I entertained of Christ's death, were, that he had died to procure
-the pardon of such sins as were committed by sinners, while in a state
-of ignorance and impenitence. I believed that had Christ not died, there
-would have been no pardon for sin, but that his death had opened the
-door of mercy to penitent sinners of all descriptions. I thought all the
-design of God, was to bring men to a sense of their moral duty, and to
-put them once more in a fair way of discharging their moral obligations
-to him, as their Creator and Preserver; and that he had promised those
-who repented, his assistance in all things that were difficult, and his
-protection from outward danger; and that Christ's death justified God,
-in granting pardon to penitent sinners, on account of their penitence. I
-had some faint recollection of what I had read in Boston's Fourfold
-State, and the instructions I had received in the Sabbath school, and
-from others, and could discern that there was a difference between them
-and the instructions I was now hearing, particularly on the doctrine of
-election, and remaining corruption in believers; but I had no fixed
-ideas on these topics, only just as much as prevented me from thinking
-that the Methodists were right, in denying, that the doctrines of
-election, and of remaining depravity in all believers, were taught in
-the Bible. I thought they were, but they were not any part of my own
-fixed belief. I read Wesley on Christian perfection, and, although I did
-not think he gave a sound view of some Scripture texts, perfection was
-the thing I was striving to obtain; a perfect obedience to the divine
-law was what I had set out to accomplish; and the following lines of one
-of Mr. Wesley's hymns, were, for a time, very frequent in my mouth, and
-repeated in secret prayer to God;
-
- O grant that nothing in my heart
- May dwell, but thy pure love alone;
-
-and I resolved that my life should be one scene of devotion and of
-gratitude to God. I continued to go on pretty smoothly for about six
-weeks, and I thought I had got the better of sinful inclinations; but
-when I fancied I was strong, I soon had reason to be convinced that I
-was weak, had I only been willing to learn; for I again fell into some
-sins, which I had flattered myself I should never more be guilty of; and
-this broke my peace of mind, and blasted all my hopes. I however found
-means to heal the sore again, after having undergone considerable pain
-of mind. I again set out by repenting, and trusting in the mercy of God,
-and resolving on future obedience; but my conduct was not regular, and
-secret sins, which lay at times very heavy upon my conscience, would
-overcome me, although I strove against them with all my might.
-
-I continued to attend the various meetings, public and private, amongst
-the Methodists, while we lay in Athlone. My attendance among them was
-certainly of great benefit to me, in leading to a train of experience,
-that materially contributed to make me acquainted with the deep
-deceitfulness of my own heart. I was indeed slow to learn; but what took
-place with me at that time, afforded matter for reflection afterwards. I
-think upon it still, and see great reason for humility on account of my
-blindness, in not seeing while I was there, that I was without strength
-and without righteousness, without Christ, and without hope, I can not
-tell how far the gospel was set before me by the Methodists; but I am
-pretty certain, from some expressions that I have still a faint
-recollection of, that Christ was set before me in a much clearer light
-than I at that time apprehended him; I had, all the time I was there,
-continued in a course of sinning and repenting, making resolutions and
-breaking them; and, although I suffered great pain of conscience, I
-succeeded in quieting it by the hope of better success the next time.
-When we came to leave the place, I felt that I should not have the same
-privilege, of the means of instruction and social worship, at least for
-a while to come; and this gave me less hope of myself, and filled me
-with a greater degree of fear, that I should be more liable to be
-overcome by temptation, when I should not have the help of the means of
-grace.
-
-I may here mention a simple incident that occurred while I was in
-Athlone. One night I was placed sentinel over a prisoner, in the room in
-which he slept. He was asleep, and I did not disturb him; a book lay
-near me; I took it up and passed the two hours with it; it was a book of
-sermons on Contentment, written by an old divine, (if I mistake not, a
-Mr. Taylor of London,) but it matters not who the author was. He handled
-it in a variety of lights, and applied the principle of contentment to
-the good works of Christians. I forgot all that I read but the following
-expressions; he said, that the genuine disciple of Christ was one, who
-was willing to do every thing for the sake of Christ, and, at the same
-time, was content to deny all he had done for Christ's sake. The author
-pursued his subject in a spiritual sense, and I was taken with the book,
-although I did not understand it. It was, however, written in such a
-strain of piety, that I was struck with it; my memory kept hold of the
-words, "do all for Christ, and deny all for Christ;" and I would at
-times reflect upon them, as strange and mysterious. I could never
-understand them, but I could not help being struck with them; and when
-the Lord opened my eyes several years afterwards, I remembered I had
-read them, and wondered how it was I did not understand them sooner; but
-I was then carnal; and the things of the Spirit were foolishness to me,
-for I had not spiritual discernment.
-
-We left Athlone, and marched to Cork, in June, 1799, to embark for
-England, and join the army that was forming to invade Holland. After
-leaving Athlone, I began to fall off in my attention to serious things.
-I carried Gray's Sermons in my knapsack, to oblige a comrade who was a
-Methodist, but who had not room for it in his. I carried it to the place
-of our embarkation, and returned it to him, without having read any part
-of it. I had read little or nothing of my Bible either, during the
-march. I found out the Methodist meeting at Cashil, where we stopt a
-day, and was at worship twice or thrice.
-
-We lay several weeks encamped at a place called Monkton, near Cork,
-waiting for vessels to carry us to England. I was twice or thrice at a
-prayer meeting during that time; but although the prospect of danger was
-increasing, I was increasingly remiss in attending to religious duties;
-and this was the case with the most part of those who had been joined
-with the Methodists. There was only one man in the regiment who was
-uniformly steady and consistent in these things.
-
-Footnote 3:
-
- They impressed into their service all the blacksmiths they could find.
-
-Footnote 4:
-
- Reports varied as to the number landed: some reports made them 15,000,
- others, as high as 30,000.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III.
-
-
-I continued in a very careless and listless state of mind during the
-passage to England. We landed at Dover, and marched to Barham downs,
-where we were encamped. About ten thousand troops were assembled at this
-place in a few days, and Sir Ralph Abercrombie was appointed to command
-them. Our regiment was put into a brigade under the command of Sir John
-Moore. Lord Huntly went upon the expedition as Colonel of the regiment,
-for he was not yet a General upon the English staff. We marched to
-Ramsgate, and embarked on board of transports, on the 5th of August, and
-sailed next day for Holland, under convoy of a fleet of war ships,
-commanded by Admiral Mitchell. A short time after we sailed, the wind
-became contrary and stormy, and continued so for about three weeks,
-which was an uncommon circumstance at this season of the year; so that,
-although the distance was short, the voyage was tedious. This delay
-allowed time for reflection, but I did not improve it, for whatever were
-the passing thoughts of my mind, I was not seriously impressed until a
-few days before we landed. The wind becoming favourable and moderate, we
-stood in for the coast of Holland, and anchored on the evening of the
-24th, near the entrance to the Helder, and began to prepare to land. The
-Dutch fleet, of eight sail of the line and three frigates, lay in our
-sight in the outer road of the Helder; and the fleet of Admiral Duncan,
-of about an equal number, lay at anchor a few miles from them. The fleet
-under Admiral Mitchell had an imposing appearance; for it consisted of
-fifteen sail of the line, and about fifty frigates, sloops of war,
-cutters, and gun vessels, with about 130 transports. The wind, however,
-became stormy again on the 25th, and the fleet, under Admiral Mitchell,
-put to sea; but it moderated during the night, and we returned and
-anchored nearer the shore than before, on the 26th, and prepared to land
-next morning. The ships of war hoisted the English and Dutch flags
-together, because the object of our intended invasion was to expel the
-French and restore the former government. The troops on board of the
-ships nearest the shore (of which the ship I was in was one) were
-ordered to land first. Our danger was now more imminent than ever it had
-been before; the probability of being suddenly called from time to
-eternity, was more than ever apparent; and I began again to pray and to
-meditate. We cooked three days' provisions, to carry with us, and were
-served out with ammunition on the evening previous to our landing; we
-did not go to rest that night, but kept on our accoutrements, to be
-ready to go into the boats when a signal should be made. Such a period
-is one of great agitation and anxiety. The prospect of landing in the
-twilight of the morning, on an enemy's coast, ignorant of the nature and
-extent of the danger, where one can not tell whether we may reach the
-shore, or be driven back as soon as we land, or suddenly overpowered
-before we can get assistance. These, and the like, are serious
-considerations at a time like this. During the night I was often praying
-in my mind for mercy, that the Lord would spare me: and I put on fresh
-resolutions, that if I was spared, I would serve God with fidelity and
-diligence. All my prayers were for the preservation of life: I durst not
-resign myself to death, because I was conscious I was not prepared for
-judgment. All my hopes for eternity, were founded in reformation of
-character, and that I had yet to begin; for had I been cut off, at that
-time, I had no hope of heaven.
-
-The province of North Holland is a peninsula, formed by the German ocean
-on the west, and the Zuyder-sea on the east. The town of Helder stands
-at the northern extremity, where the Zuyder-sea communicates with the
-German ocean, between the Helder point and the Texel island, distant
-about six miles. The city of Amsterdam stands on the south side of the
-Zuyder-sea, the common passage to which is by the Helder. A range of
-sand-hills runs along the coast of the German ocean, close to the beach,
-and the country between them and the Zuyder-sea is nearly a perfect
-flat. Large dykes, or mounds of earth, run along the shores of the
-Zuyder-sea to protect the tide from overflowing the country, which is
-below the level of high water. The sand-hills serve for an embankment on
-the side of the German ocean. The principal arsenal for equipping and
-repairing the Dutch fleet is near the town of Helder, the greater part
-of which rendezvouses there; but they are built at Amsterdam and other
-places in the interior, and floated down the Zuyder-sea, on account of
-the shallowness of its water, and are fitted out for sea at Helder.
-
-We embarked in the boats early in the morning, and collected at the
-stern of a gun vessel that lay nearest the shore, where we waited until
-daylight began to make the coast visible; I continued at intervals
-offering up ejaculatory prayers to God, for preservation and
-deliverance. As soon as the coast was discernible, the gun vessel began
-to fire her guns upon the shore, and the boats rowed off, giving three
-loud cheers. The fire of the different vessels of war that lay along the
-shore was dreadful: but as the shot and shells were all thrown at
-random, the enemy not being visible, it did little damage; but it
-probably prevented the enemy from appearing on the open beach, by which
-means we got safely landed. The enemy's troops were posted among the
-sand-hills at the different points opposite to our extended anchorage,
-that were most favourable for landing. These points were chiefly at some
-distance to the right of the place we landed at, where the beach, not
-being so favourable, was not so strongly guarded. A part of his force
-was also to our left, near the Fort at the entrance to the Helder, where
-they had a camp. We formed on the beach as we landed, and began to
-advance into the sand-hills. Our regiment was near the left of the line;
-there were only a few of the enemy's picquets that appeared in _our_
-front, who retired as we advanced: but the troops on the right had not
-proceeded far before they fell in with a division of the enemy, when a
-smart action began. The enemy were quickly driven farther to the right,
-but fresh columns soon arriving, the action became increasingly warm,
-but our troops continued to press upon the enemy, and took up a position
-across the sand-hills, to cover the right of the debarkation. Sir John
-Moore's brigade, in which our regiment was, penetrated also across them
-as soon as possible, and took up a position to cover the left.
-
-The sand-hills at this place are not of great breadth; the road from
-Helder to the interior runs along the interior side of them, the
-peninsula at this place is narrow, and the ground between the sand-hills
-and the Zuyder-sea is a flat, in many parts swampy. As soon as the first
-party of our regiment had reached the further side of the sand-hills,
-they descried that part of the enemy's force that had been posted on our
-left, passing along the Helder road to join their forces that were
-engaged with our right. They were composed of horse artillery, cavalry,
-and infantry. As soon as they observed our advance picquets, they left
-the road, and made a circuit through the flat ground to their left: and
-when they were out of the reach of musketry they made a pause, and fired
-two field pieces at us, which did us no hurt, and then passed on and
-joined their own troops. The fire of the ships of war that were anchored
-to the right and left of the point of debarkation, prevented the enemy
-from attempting to march along the beach to disturb the landing. They
-also protected the right flank of the troops that were engaged with the
-enemy, but he attacked their front with his infantry, and their left
-flank with his artillery; which he kept upon the flat ground, on the
-inside of the sand-hills, protected by his cavalry. Indeed infantry were
-the only troops that were capable of fighting among the sand-hills.
-Fresh columns continuing to arrive during the course of the day, to the
-support of the enemy, he maintained the contest and renewed his efforts
-to dislodge our troops, but as they also were reinforced by those that
-continued to land, they repulsed all his attacks and gained ground; but,
-as we had neither artillery nor cavalry, we dared not to attack his that
-were posted in the plain, nor was it expedient to advance far until the
-army should all be landed. The enemy continued his efforts from five
-o'clock in the morning till four o'clock in the afternoon, when the army
-was nearly all landed, and some pieces of artillery were brought to bear
-upon the enemy's cavalry and artillery. The troops then charged his
-infantry, and drove them beyond Challantes Ogg, a place where an
-inundation of water from the Zuyder-sea contracts the peninsula nearly
-to the breadth of the sand-hills. The enemy then retreated into the
-interior, and left us in possession of our position, which separated him
-from the Helder. Another fleet of transports, with five thousand
-additional troops from England, appeared at sea in the afternoon, and
-anchored in the evening. Our regiment was not engaged through this day;
-but Sir John Moore's brigade was destined to attack the batteries and
-town of Helder next morning, if the enemy's garrison still remained in
-them. The loss of the army during this day's conflict was about a
-thousand men killed and wounded. Our regiment lost sixteen men, who were
-drowned in the act of landing, the boat having struck on a bank at some
-distance from the shore; the men got out of the boat, but got into deep
-water before they reached the beach, and the swell having increased at
-the time they were landing, they, along with several seamen belonging to
-the boat, were drowned. I knew most of them; one of them was a
-particular acquaintance, whose death made a strong impression on my
-mind.
-
-As soon as it was fully dark our brigade marched away for the Helder.
-There is something impressive in a march under the cloud of night, in a
-strange land, where we can not tell the danger we are in, and have to
-move forward in solemn silence. It was ordered, that no man was to speak
-above his breath during the march; and all orders to halt, or move
-forward, were given the same way. We had frequent stops, which made us,
-who were not in the front, often wonder what was the matter. Such a
-march is a service in which the mind undergoes much harassing anxiety,
-and the body much fatigue. Having come near to the Helder, we halted,
-and lay under arms, in a state of great anxiety, until daylight; several
-of their ships of war were then seen at anchor near the town, but they
-got quickly under weigh, and their whole fleet anchored in the
-Zuyder-sea, about 12 miles from the Helder; which was the farthest
-distance they could go to on account of the shallowness of the water.
-After waiting some time we obtained information that the enemy had
-evacuated the various forts and batteries about the place. We sent out
-small detachments, who found that it was so, and we then entered the
-place, and put guards in the different works. When I reflected on the
-dangers we had escaped, I was filled with wonder; but I soon forgot them
-all; and during the few days that we lay in the town of Helder, my
-conduct, in place of being better, was worse than ordinary.
-
-The transports, and a number of our frigates, came into the Helder next
-day, and the artillery, cavalry, and stores, were landed in the harbour.
-The day following the ships of the line came in, and admiral Mitchel
-went forward to the Dutch fleet, with a squadron of nine sail of the
-line, and five frigates. The Dutch fleet then surrendered without firing
-a shot, and hoisted the orange flag. Their crews were in a state of
-mutiny at the time, partly out of disaffection to the new republican
-government, but more particularly for want of pay. When they were
-ordered to prepare for action they refused to fight, and threw the balls
-and cartridges into the sea. It would, indeed, have been a useless waste
-of blood for them to have resisted, for if the squadron that went to
-them had not been sufficient to have reduced them, there were more than
-enough of war ships, of all descriptions, at hand to have completely
-overwhelmed them; for after the batteries of the Helder were in our
-possession, they had no way of saving their ships to their country but
-by taking out their guns and masts to lighten them, and towing them
-through the shallow water to some of the ports in the interior, out of
-our reach. And why they did not do so is not easily accounted for.
-Besides this fleet of eight sail of the line, three frigates, and a
-sloop, there were two sail of the line, eleven frigates and smaller
-vessels of war, and three East India ships lying in the harbour, in
-various conditions. A large quantity of ammunition and stores, and a
-great number of cannon for the equipment of ships, were found in the
-arsenal, exclusive of the guns and mortars that were on the batteries,
-many of which were brass.
-
-The army lay among the sand-hills, where it had fought on the day of
-landing, until the 1st September, when the artillery and cavalry being
-landed, it moved forward into the interior of the country. Our regiment
-left the Helder, another occupying it, and joined the army, which took
-up a position in the afternoon, upon one of those huge dykes that are in
-Holland, which extended from the German Ocean, where we posted our
-right, to the Zuyder-sea, where we posted our left, a distance of about
-eight miles. We occupied it, at all the parts that were passable, and
-threw up works upon it, particularly at the extremities. It formed a
-most excellent position of defence in such a flat country, on account of
-its thickness and height. The top of it was so broad that any carriages
-had full liberty to pass, and was one of the best roads in the country;
-and it was not made in a straight line, but bent in curves, like the
-bastions of a garrison line wall. A large ditch runs the whole length in
-front of it, with large reservoirs of water in the curves. The use of
-this dyke was to prevent the rain that falls in the winter, on the south
-side of it, from flooding the country on the north side, where the level
-is lower. The reservoirs in the curves of the dyke receive the water,
-and there are sluices that are opened to allow it to pass by degrees,
-under the dyke, into a large canal, a little in the rear of it, from
-whence it is let out into the sea, when the tide is low. We had no
-tents, but were lodged in the farm houses, which, in Holland, are large,
-and of a peculiar construction, having the byre, stable, hayloft, and
-barn, under one large oblong square roof, made of thatch. A great number
-of these houses were ranged at such regular distances, along the banks
-of the canals, in the rear of the dyke, that they formed convenient
-cantonments; and each house contained from one to two hundred, who slept
-in a loft among the hay, without any other covering than their great
-coats and the hay. The fields are all divided by broad and deep ditches,
-in place of hedges, which are only to be seen upon parts of the road
-sides, and round the orchards at the farm houses and gentlemen's seats.
-All the ditches have communications with the large canals that
-communicate with the sea. A great number of wind-mills are employed in
-forcing the water up into the canals, which are above the level of the
-ground in the winter time, and in forcing the water into the ditches
-whose elevation is highest, from whence it flows over locks into the
-lower ditches in the summer season, so that the ditches are always full.
-The apparatus of the wind-mills is simple: a number of long broad
-paddles are fixed in an axle, the lower ends of which dip into a box of
-little more than their own breadth, into which the water of the lower
-level flows, and the rapidity with which the paddles are driven makes
-them throw the water off their flat sides, to all the height that is
-needed. The country being below the level of the sea, there are no
-spring-wells of fresh water in it. The rain that falls on the roofs of
-their houses is conveyed into a cistern, built of brick, sunk in the
-ground at the side of the door, or under one of the corners of the
-house, and some of them have an opening into the cistern both within and
-on the outside of the house. The Dutch are proverbial for their
-cleanliness and ingenious industry. I admired, among other things, their
-way of churning their butter. A large wheel, with a broad rim, the
-spokes of which were fastened to the one side of the rim, was fixed upon
-a nave in the wall, at one of the corners of the house, with the spokes
-next to the wall; small pieces of wood were nailed across the inside of
-the rim; a belt that was upon the rim turned a crank that was above it;
-the churn stood on the floor under the crank which lifted the churn
-staff up and down; there was a close lid upon the churn, with a slit in
-the centre, in which the churn staff moved, so much of which was flat as
-allowed it to move in the slit. The wheel was turned round by a dog, who
-was put into the inside of the rim upon the open side; he catched the
-small cross pieces of wood, that were on the inside of the fore part of
-the rim, at some height, with his feet, and the weight of his body
-turned the wheel. The poor dog was tied by a cord round his neck at such
-a height, to an upright post at the side of the fore part of the wheel,
-that if he did not work he would be hanged. There were generally two
-dogs employed, the one relieving the other.
-
-The Dutchmen wear large small-clothes and cocked hats; the women wear
-stays and hoops in their petticoats, and low crowned broad brimmed straw
-hats; but I did not see any that were gaudy, or ragged, in any part of
-the country I was in.
-
-On the 10th of September, 1799, the enemy, having received accessions to
-their number, attacked us in our position. It was known to them, that we
-were shortly to receive large reinforcements; and they determined to
-attack us before these arrived. A strong party attacked the position
-entrusted to our regiment, which was the first time that we were in
-actual action with an enemy. The dyke sheltered us from their shot; for
-when they drew near, we stood on the top of it and fired a volley or
-two, which drove them back, and then we sheltered ourselves from the
-fire of their artillery by sitting down on the near side of it. The shot
-whistled over our heads, and fell, when its strength was spent, on the
-ground in our rear. The enemy was repulsed at all points with loss. Our
-regiment's loss was small; one man killed, and the captain of the
-grenadiers, and three men wounded. General Moore was also slightly
-wounded. When the main body of the enemy retreated, a number of their
-riflemen remained behind them, under the cover of a house that was near
-the dyke; one of them came from under the cover, and ran to join the
-main body; he was instantly fired at I dare say by twenty; yet he got
-clear off, without any appearance of being hurt. The risk that he ran
-deterred the remainder from following him, and they surrendered
-themselves prisoners of war, in number about one hundred.
-
-Shortly after the action of the 10th, a number of troops arrived from
-England, along with the Duke of York, who took the chief command of the
-army. A large body of Russian troops also joined us, which increased our
-number to about thirty-five thousand. And on the 19th September the
-whole moved forward to attack the enemy. Sir Ralph Abercrombie, with
-about eight or ten thousand men, of which our brigade was a part,
-marched the preceding night past the right flank of the enemy, and took
-the town of Hoorn by surprise. We were now a good way in the rear of the
-enemy's right, and it was intended that the Duke of York, with the main
-body of the army, should dislodge the enemy from his positions, and that
-we should then attack them on their flank and rear, and cut off their
-retreat.
-
-The Duke was successful at the outset of the action, but the Russians
-under his command falling into disorder, the enemy rallied upon them,
-repulsed them, and took a great number of them prisoners, which
-compelled the Duke to retreat. We heard the firing of the cannon while
-we lay on our arms, waiting for orders to move, but, when word was
-brought that the Duke of York had been driven back, we retired the same
-way that we came, and were not engaged in this action. We began now to
-say that we were a lucky regiment; various expressions were used by the
-soldiers, when speaking of our good luck, (as it was called) some of
-them very foolish, which I do not mention. Some said, that there were
-too many old women in Scotland, praying for their children and friends,
-to allow us to be exposed to great danger. I began to reflect seriously
-upon our past preservation, and the bad improvement that we were making
-of it; and the thought made me tremble: I thought, "It _may be_, that
-God has been more favourable to us than to others, on account of the
-prayers of godly relatives at home; but his kindness has a claim upon
-_our gratitude_, and if it does not produce gratitude from _us to him_,
-he may be provoked to punish us severely, and make his punishment in
-proportion to his past kindness; and the longer that he bears with us,
-the stroke may be the heavier when it comes; and although we have as yet
-escaped more than other regiments, in the next battle it may be, that
-for hardening ourselves in sin, and flattering ourselves with security,
-on account of the prayers of godly relatives, we may suffer more
-severely than any others:"--and my fears were not groundless.
-
-The sand-hills which run along the sea coast from Helder, terminated a
-little in the rear of Patten, where our right was posted, and commenced
-again about three miles farther south, in our front. An embankment of
-sand fills up this breach, and prevents the sea from flowing over the
-flat country. Tufts of strong straw are set in the sand in regular rows,
-like plants in a garden, the whole breadth and length of the embankment.
-The tops of the tufts rise upwards of a foot above the surface of the
-sand, and the sand that is washed up by the tide or blown by the wind,
-lodges about their roots, and as the tufts are regularly renewed, they
-not only preserve this bank of light sand from diminishing, but also
-increase its size and solidity. The left of the enemy's army was posted
-at the commencement of the sand-hills. It was determined that Sir Ralph
-Abercrombie, with a division of British troops, should attack the enemy
-posted there, while the Duke of York, with the other division of the
-army, should attack their positions in the flat country. We left our
-cantonments before one o'clock of the morning of the 2d October, and
-assembled before day-break on the beach in front of the enemy's lines.
-At day-break we began to drive in their outposts; and continued to
-advance along the sea-side, while another part of the army advanced
-along the inland side of the sand-hills, with a line of communication
-across them. The breadth of the beach along which we advanced was
-various: (the attack had been several days delayed, on account of stormy
-weather, which drove the sea so far upon the beach, as to leave no
-passage betwixt the sand-hills and the water:) it admitted sometimes of
-two or three companies to march abreast, and sometimes scarcely of one.
-We had four pieces of cannon in front, which fired upon the enemy, who
-retired along the beach as we advanced. I passed close by a man who had
-been struck with a cannon ball upon the knee joint; the ball had carried
-away the joint, and left a ligament of skin on each side of it, which
-held the leg suspended to the thigh. A little farther, I passed near a
-man who lay stretched upon his back, dead;--his eyes and countenance had
-something in them peculiarly dreadful; yet he appeared to be only shot
-through the thigh with a musket ball:--but it was the centre of it, and
-it had proved instantly mortal. I was so struck with this man's ghastly
-appearance, that I thought with myself, "Were I a poet, I would choose,
-as my subject, the horrors of war, that I might persuade mankind not to
-engage in it."--As we continued to advance, the sand-hills increased in
-breadth, which required additional troops to fill up the line of
-communication across them; we who remained upon the beach, saw nothing
-that was doing in the interior of the sand-hills; and as the firing
-there was only musketry, the roar of the sea upon the beach prevented us
-from hearing it, except when it was close to us. We had frequent and
-long pauses, waiting for the movement of others. There was a great deal
-of bloodshed in the interior of the sand-hills, by the continued
-skirmishing, and detached attacks upon particular points.--These
-sand-hills were admirably adapted for this mode of warfare; the enemy
-would have been much more easily driven out of trenches;--for the
-sand-hills were the same as a succession of trenches, so that when the
-enemy saw our troops advancing, they continued to fire upon us until
-they saw that we were just near enough to allow them time safely to
-retire to the next range of hills. The sand-hills are not much unlike
-snow blown into wreaths, by a strong wind: they are various in their
-heights and shapes; some being conical and steep, and others running in
-winding ridges; and the sand is so light, as to be carried about with
-the wind. It is extremely difficult to walk amongst it, being like dry
-snow, a little hard on the surface, which when once broken, is almost
-impassable: here and there, there are chasms, and hollow flats of
-various extents among them.
-
-Towards the afternoon we drew near a place called Egmont, a small
-fishing town among the sand-hills, near to where the battle of
-Camperdown was fought. Here the enemy had drawn a number of fishing
-sloops and schuyts upon the beach, in two lines, leaving intervals
-between them, for their troops to pass. These formed a cover to their
-columns from our shot, and concealed their cavalry from our view. During
-the action they had received a reinforcement, which they pushed along
-the sand-hills close to the beach. The line across these, owing to their
-increased breadth, now occupied all the regiments of our division but
-ourselves. The enemy began to press hard upon the troops that were near
-us, and so posted themselves as to annoy us who were standing upon the
-beach; we were a considerable time exposed to this, and had a number
-both of officers and men wounded, amongst which was Lord Huntly, our
-Colonel, and a son of Sir Ralph Abercrombie, who was at that time an
-ensign in the regiment. A situation of this kind is the most irksome for
-a soldier to be in; for when actively engaged, the fury and bustle of
-action, to a considerable degree, banishes the dread of danger from the
-mind.
-
-During the march along the beach, and the frequent pauses we made, my
-mind had time for serious reflection; I was alive to a sense of present
-danger; and having no well grounded hope for eternity should death be
-the issue, was led to pray earnestly to God for mercy. While standing
-exposed to the fire of the enemy, and the balls whistling over us and
-amongst us, my former sins came into my mind, with all my broken vows
-and resolutions; my past ingratitude stared me in the face, and made me
-tremble, but a sense of present danger made me pray earnestly for mercy
-to pardon my sins, and to preserve my life; I confessed that I did not
-deserve what I sought, but I cast myself on the mercy of God, and with
-increasing fortitude, as I thought, resolved once more to forsake every
-sin, and live only to him.--The enemy having increased in numbers, the
-troops in the sand-hills next to the beach began to give way. Four
-companies detached from our regiment, with Sir John Moore at their head,
-went to reinforce them; but they were also soon overpowered; and Sir
-John was wounded in three parts of the body, and with difficulty escaped
-being taken prisoner; the remaining six companies were then ordered to
-form in three divisions, and march forward along the beach, and then to
-wheel to our left, and charge the enemy. I was in the front division. We
-marched forward, and passed a number of the enemy's troops, and came to
-a place where there was a more than ordinary opening, and the sand rose
-pretty high, in the form of a semicircle; into this opening we wheeled,
-and were instantly exposed to a fire upon both our flanks and front.
-This staggered us, and we began to fire upon the enemy, in place of
-pushing instantly forward to that part of the height that was on our
-right, driving the enemy from it, and taking up a position there, from
-which we could have done them more harm, and not have been so much
-exposed ourselves. We continued to stand still and fire for a few
-seconds, and then began to move forward, firing as we advanced; the
-other two divisions had wheeled into various openings in the sand-hills
-in our rear, at the same time that we did. They were strongly opposed by
-the enemy, who were very superior in number; but hearing the firing of
-our division in their rear, the enemy who opposed them began to retreat
-into the interior of the sand-hills; those who opposed us did the same,
-and we continued to pursue them; but the action soon became on both
-sides quite irregular; for the sand-hills separated us into parties, so
-that the one party frequently did not see what the other was doing, and,
-in some instances, parties of our troops came suddenly upon parties of
-the enemy. In one instance, one of our parties having climbed to the top
-of a sand ridge, found that a party of the enemy was just beneath, and
-instantly rushed down the ridge upon them; but the side of the ridge was
-so steep and soft, that the effort to keep themselves from falling
-prevented them from making regular use of their arms. They were
-involuntarily precipitated amongst the enemy, and the bottom of the
-ridge was so narrow, and the footing on all sides so soft, that neither
-party were able, for want of room, to make use of the bayonet; but they
-struck at each other with the butts of their firelocks, and some
-individuals were fighting with their fists.--For three quarters of an
-hour we maintained a furious action, and drove the enemy to a
-considerable distance; but so many had been killed, and wounded, and
-scattered, that the officers could no longer collect any great number
-into one body. We then began to retreat: the enemy turned upon us, and
-we lost a number of men by their fire during the retreat. Our previous
-advance had exhausted our bodily strength, and we were much in want of
-water. I was very thirsty, and began to grow very weak. In the course of
-the retreat we came to a pretty steep rise of sand. I felt myself unable
-to go over it in a straight line, so had to make a circuit, to get over
-it where it was lower; although it was almost a matter of life and death
-with me, for a party of the enemy was close behind us. As I was making
-this circuit, a party, I think in number about six or seven, fired at me
-all at once; (I was their only object;) and I distinctly observed
-several balls strike the sand ridge, both before and behind me, about
-breast high. I really believe that had I been a span-breadth farther
-forward or backwards from the spot where I at the moment was, there
-would have been several balls through my body. Before any more fired at
-me, I got over the ridge, which then secured me; and I joined the
-regiment, which was near, and had taken up a position in the interior of
-the sand-hills; and some fresh troops arriving, the enemy was repulsed.
-
-I no doubt had many hair-breadth escapes during the action, of which I
-was insensible; but the one I have mentioned, appeared to me as a
-wonderful mercy of Providence, and I looked upon it as laying me under
-an additional obligation to devote my whole life to the service of God.
-If I was bound to serve him, because he was my Creator, I was now doubly
-bound to serve him, for my wonderful preservation; and I thought that
-the ties by which I was now bound, would undoubtedly have this effect. I
-thought I should never indulge in any thing that was sinful; but I was
-still blind to my own weakness; I had thought the same thing, and had
-promised accordingly, in prayer to God, at the outset of the action; yet
-the action was scarcely begun, before I joined my comrades in furious,
-opprobrious, and profane language against the enemy. Many sins were thus
-unobserved by me, and did not affect my conscience at the time.
-
-During the time that we were engaged in the interior of the sand-hills,
-the enemy, seeing no infantry on the beach to protect our guns, sent out
-his cavalry, from their covert at Egmont, to seize them. Our cavalry had
-gone into the chasms of the sand-hills, that were next the beach, a
-little in the rear, to shelter themselves from the fire of the enemy's
-cannon. They formed upon the beach, and sprang forward to meet the
-enemy, who had, by this time, reached the guns. They charged the enemy
-briskly, and drove them back with considerable loss, and pursued them
-close to Egmont. But, what is something singular, the infantry parties
-of French and British, that were on the sand-hills next the beach,
-suspended, as it were by mutual consent, their firing, to become
-spectators of the cavalry, and did not commence again until the contest
-of the cavalry was decided.
-
-The firing ceased sometime before sunset; I was much in want of water,
-and went along with another to search for it. We found it at last, in
-the hollow of the opening of the sand-hills, into which we had wheeled
-when we left the beach and engaged the enemy. There had been a good deal
-of rain some days before: and the trampling of our feet upon the surface
-of the sand had brought water to it, which being observed by some who
-came to the place afterwards, they dug a small hole in the sand, and put
-into it the sides of an empty broken ammunition box, which served for
-cradling; and the hole was soon filled with good water. A number more of
-such kind of wells were presently made, and plenty of water got, which
-supplied both horse and foot. We filled our canteens; and then went to
-look among the dead and wounded, for a comrade, of whom we could get no
-certain account. The spectacle of the dead, the dying, and the wounded,
-greatly affected me. The dead were lying stiff on the ground, in various
-postures; but death had so altered their countenances, that of all that
-I saw, belonging to the regiment, with many of whom I had been familiar,
-I knew only two; and it was by peculiar marks, such as death could not
-alter, that we distinguished even them. The groaning of the wounded was
-very afflicting; for they were mostly bad cases, all that were able to
-walk or crawl having removed farther to the rear; and all the assistance
-that could be given to those who were unable to move, was to carry them
-from the spot where they were lying, to a place of greater shelter. This
-had been in part already done, and the wounded were lying in groupes, in
-the best sheltered hollows adjacent to the beach. The universal cry of
-these poor men was for water. I supplied them as far as I was able, both
-enemies and friends, and amongst the rest one of our own officers, who
-was most severely wounded. I had to hold him up and put the canteen to
-his mouth, for he was unable to help himself; he died during the night.
-We did not find the object of our search; but we got afterwards certain
-account of his having been wounded, and probable accounts of his death;
-and we never heard more of him.
-
-I returned to join the regiment, ruminating on the affecting sight I had
-seen, and grieved for the loss of comrades and acquaintances. When the
-regiment was mustered in the evening, about one half were amissing; but
-about thirty joined in a day or two after, who had lost the regiment. We
-were upwards of 600 strong; and our loss in killed, wounded and
-prisoners (of whom there were 40), was 288. The company to which I
-belonged, entered the field with 59 rank and file, and three serjeants,
-out of which 5 were killed on the field, and 24 were wounded, 5 of whom
-died in a few days, and three shortly after. Of the rest, few recovered,
-so as to be fit for service. The regiment had suffered this severe loss
-in about three quarters of an hour. There was a universal gloom upon
-every countenance, when we looked to the smallness of our number, when
-we were mustered; and there was no one, but what had lost comrades and
-associates, and some had lost relatives. After it was dark, we planted
-our picquets, and the remainder of us lay down among the sand. I
-reflected upon my own escape--upon the great number who had already been
-launched into eternity, and others whom I had seen groaning under the
-pain of wounds, which would soon prove mortal to many of them. I thanked
-God for his kindness to me, and promised to keep his commandments in
-future.
-
-We lay three days among the sand hills: the weather was cold; the nights
-stormy and wet.--We were waiting for the movements of the other
-divisions of the army, in the interior of the country. The day after the
-battle, we buried such of our dead as were adjacent to us. One man
-belonging to the company I was in, was found dead, without any mark of
-violence on his body. He was lying on the ascent of a sand-ridge, and
-had fallen on the retreat. We conjectured, that fatigue and want of
-water had occasioned his death. I was informed of another singular case:
-A Frenchman and a Highlander had charged upon each other; the Frenchman
-had parried the thrust of the Highlander, and run him through the body;
-the Highlander had then let go his hold of the butt end of his piece
-with his right hand, and seized, with a death-grasp, the throat of the
-Frenchman; who, to extricate himself, had also let go the hold which he
-had of his firelock with his right hand, and seized the wrist of the
-Highlander, to pull it away from his throat; but he had been
-unable:--the Frenchman had then staggered backwards, and had fallen on
-his back; and the Highlander above him, still retaining hold of his
-throat; and, in the struggle that had then taken place, the head of the
-Highlander had projected so far over the head of the Frenchman, as to
-bring that part of the body of the former in which the bayonet was, over
-the mouth of the latter; and in this posture both had expired. Those who
-saw it, said, the sight was truly shocking. The Frenchman was fairly
-strangled; his eyes were out of their sockets; his tongue was greatly
-swelled, and thrust far out of his mouth, into which the blood from the
-wound of the Highlander was running. Each still held a firm hold of his
-firelock with his left hand; and when the Highlander was removed from
-the Frenchman, and laid along-side of him, he still kept such a firm
-grasp of his throat, that he raised the body of the Frenchman from the
-ground, and it was with difficulty it was extricated from the hold.
-
-The result of the battle of the 2d October compelled the enemy to
-abandon his positions, and evacuate the town of Alkmaar, which was his
-head quarters, and fall back nearer to Amsterdam.--Alkmaar was occupied
-by our troops on the 3d, and as our brigade had been much reduced in
-number, we were ordered to go there to form a part of its intended
-garrison. The peninsula is here of considerable breadth, and the country
-much superior to that on the north side of the long dyke, but it is
-still intersected with deep broad ditches and canals, which greatly
-impede military operations. The rain that had lately fallen had filled
-the canals and ditches so full of water, that the edges and lower parts
-of the roads were beginning to be covered, as we passed from Egmont to
-Alkmaar; and as the roads, for want of stone, were made of earth, or a
-slight layer of sand upon earth or clay, they were beginning to be deep.
-There are narrow foot-paths laid with brick, between some of the towns.
-Alkmaar is a town of considerable size, surrounded with a high mound of
-earth and a canal; all the entrances to it are over drawbridges and
-through gates, the principal of which have cannon mounted on them. The
-streets are paved with whinstone in the centre, and on the sides with
-brick or flags, and a number of large canals run through the centre of
-the principal of them.
-
-We entered the town on the 5th, and next day, which was Sunday, the
-garrison was taken to the church, to attend divine service. The Dutch
-congregation had been dismissed; but their minister, and a number of
-others, remained, to be a witness of our service. The church was large,
-and of Gothic structure, and had the largest and most highly ornamented
-organ I ever saw. The enemy had received reinforcements the day before,
-and he commenced an attack upon the positions of the army, at the time
-we were in the church. The prayers of the liturgy had been read, and the
-minister had begun his sermon, when we began to hear the noise of cannon
-at a distance; by the time the sermon was ended, the firing of cannon
-had approached nearer the town and was beginning to be heavy, and the
-musketry was heard to mingle in the roar; and the large organ played
-Malbrouk as we left the church, to repair to our alarm posts. The action
-continued to be warmly contested, until after it was dark; but the enemy
-was repulsed, and fell back to his position, and one hundred and
-eighty-eight prisoners were taken, and brought into Alkmaar on the
-morning of the 7th.
-
-About two o'clock in the afternoon the prisoners were assembled, and a
-captain and forty men, of whom I was one, were appointed to escort them
-to our former head-quarters, on the north side of the long dyke. Only
-thirty of the prisoners were French; the others were Dutchmen, and had
-put up the orange cockade after they were made prisoners. Numbers of
-them had money, with which they procured gin before we left the town;
-and they drank and sung songs (which we believed were in praise of their
-former government), as we went along the road. The Frenchmen, who were
-enthusiastic republicans, scorned the Dutch for putting up the orange
-cockade, and kept by themselves, on the front of the party. We kept them
-all in good humour, and until the fatigue of travelling had exhausted
-our strength, the march of the prisoners resembled more the merry air of
-a wedding procession, than of that gloom which the thought of their
-being under an escort of their enemies, and on the way to a prison in a
-foreign land, might naturally be expected to produce. It continued to
-rain upon us the greater part of the way, this, with the deepness of the
-roads and the length of the journey, fatigued us exceedingly, and
-scattered us into parties; yet, notwithstanding of this, and although a
-great part of the journey was performed after it was dark, and although
-the prisoners were in their own country, none of them attempted to
-escape. When we had delivered them over to another guard, to watch them
-through the night, we retired to rest in the expectation of returning to
-Alkmaar next day, but we were surprised to hear in the morning, that the
-army was retreating; and in a few hours, the various divisions arrived
-and resumed the positions they had occupied previous to the battle of
-the 2d.
-
-The reasons of this retrograde movement were the badness of the roads
-from Helder to the interior. The army received its bread from the fleet,
-and all the ammunition and military stores; the roads were becoming
-impassable, and the farther we advanced, the difficulties of fetching
-our supplies from the Helder were increasing. The French armies in
-Switzerland, and on the Rhine, had gained decisive victories, which
-enabled them to detach large bodies of troops, which were on their way,
-to reinforce their army in Holland, which would then become so strong as
-to be able to overpower us. It had, therefore, been determined to
-retreat while the roads were passable, lest our retreat might be cut
-off. The army retired from all its positions early in the morning, and
-the rear guard left Alkmaar early in the day.--The enemy, after being
-repulsed on the 6th, was apprehensive that we might attack him, and was
-prepared, in that case, to retire to Haarlem; our retreating was not
-expected by him, and it was about 10 o'clock in the forenoon before his
-advanced cavalry picquets discerned that Alkmaar was evacuated, when
-they entered and found a few drunken women and soldiers, whose
-intoxication prevented them from knowing that the army had retreated. In
-a few days after the retreat of the army, an armistice was agreed upon,
-the conditions of which were, that we should evacuate Holland by the end
-of November, and release eight thousand prisoners without exchange, as a
-boon for our being allowed quietly to re-embark. This agreement put an
-end to hostilities, and preparations were made to send home the troops
-with all possible expedition; but, before we left the country, I caught
-the ague, and after we had arrived in England, in the beginning of
-November, 1799, I was put into the hospital in Chelmsford, twenty-six
-miles from London. I was greatly reduced in body before I recovered,
-which was not until the beginning of the next year, 1800.--God's mercy
-in granting me a recovery from the ague, impressed my mind with the
-additional obligations I was now laid under to serve him:--but, as
-formerly, my resolutions of mind were soon broken; conscience soon found
-matter of accusation against me; I was at times careless and listless,
-and at other times thoughtful and pensive. The barracks in which we lay,
-were about a mile from the town of Chelmsford. There was a tabernacle in
-the town, where there was a sermon once a fortnight in the evening. I
-went several times to it; and the sermons served to awaken my religious
-impressions. One evening, the preacher described a case of conscience;
-which I thought not unlike my own; and among other directions, he
-exhorted the person who might be in such a case, to lay it before God in
-prayer. After the service was over, I shunned my companions; returned to
-the barracks alone, and prayed to God for light and direction as I went
-along the road; and I set about reforming my conduct once more. But I
-soon fell through it, and was thrown as far back as ever.--There were no
-religious meetings in the regiment, from the time we left Ireland until
-a good while after this.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-We left Chelmsford on the 14th of April, and marched to the Isle of
-Wight, where we lay until the 27th May. I was once in the Methodist
-meeting house while we lay in the town of Newport. On the 27th May,
-1800, we embarked on board the Diadem, 64 guns, and the Inconstant
-frigate, both armed _en flute_ (_i. e._ partially armed), and fitted for
-the reception of troops. We left all our women and heavy baggage in the
-Isle of Wight; and as we were not informed where we were going, this
-circumstance led us to conjecture, that we were destined for some
-desperate and secret enterprise. We were joined by some more ships with
-troops, and sailed down the English channel, until we fell in with the
-Channel fleet, under the command of Sir John Jarvis. Sir Edward Pellew,
-(now Lord Exmouth,) was sent along with us, with a squadron of eight
-ships of war. It was a magnificent sight to see the Channel fleet in
-regular order. They were in number forty-four ships of the line, (a
-large proportion of them three-deckers) and a number of frigates. We
-sailed along the cost of France until we came to the bay of Quiberon,
-where we came to an anchor on the 2d June, near a small island called
-Houet, lying betwixt the isle of Belleisle and the main land, about four
-or five miles from the latter, and six or seven from Belleisle.
-
-On the 4th, which was the anniversary of his Majesty's birth, a singular
-occurrence took place. A sloop of war, and a number of boats armed with
-carronades, having detachments of troops in them, were despatched in the
-morning, to attack a battery situated on a projecting point of the main
-land, where it approaches nearest to Belleisle, and from which ships
-coming to our present anchorage, were liable to be fired upon. It lay
-about eight or ten miles from us: but as the wind was light, the sloop
-of war and the boats did not get near the battery, until it was past
-twelve o'clock. The battery then opened a fire from two 24 pounders,
-which played briskly upon them. The day was fine and clear, which
-permitted us to see the smoke of every gun that was fired, and where the
-shot struck the water. We looked on with eager anxiety, and observed all
-the movements of the sloop of war and the boats. It was near one o'clock
-before she was in a position to return the fire of the battery, which
-she did briskly. The armed boats then pulled towards the shore, under
-cover of her fire. At one o'clock they were close to the battery, and
-commenced a smart fire upon it from their carronades, and the contest
-was at the hottest, just at the instant that the ships we were in, were
-firing the salute in honour of his Majesty's birth day. The enemy
-precipitately retired from the battery, and the troops and seamen
-landed, dismounted the guns, broke the carriages, and did what other
-damage they could, and then returned to the fleet. We all remarked the
-singularity of the circumstance, that while we were saluting with blank
-shot, they were saluting with round, double headed, and grape shot, in
-real earnest, by which several lives were lost, and some were wounded,
-besides other damages.
-
-We landed on the island of Houet on the 6th June. It was a small place,
-almost destitute of cultivation, and only a little fishing village on
-it. Some more ships arrived from England with troops, and preparations
-were made for attacking Belleisle. On the 15th June, we were embarked on
-board the ships of the line, in order to go near the island, and make
-our debarkation from them, under the cover of their guns. Our regiment
-was wholly on board of the Terrible, 74. We were five days in this ship;
-and here there were a number of the sailors, who were serious, and
-united together few prayer and praise; some of them were known to
-several of our men; the seamen were all very kind, and uncommonly
-obliging to us; every thing was orderly and quiet; religion appeared to
-have so far prevailed in this ship, as to give a general tone to the
-manners and conversation of the seamen; so that they were not like the
-same kind of men that we met with in other ships of war. Those men, who
-were not religious, did not make a mock at religion; and those who were
-serious, were in the habit of having what might be called public prayers
-between decks, at stated periods. This was intimated through the ship,
-by two or more individuals going round and informing the sailors that
-there were to be prayers at such a gun, say, No. 9 or 10, on the
-starboard or larboard side. At these public meetings, I understood, that
-one or other of them addressed their fellow seamen.--In these practices
-they appeared to be protected by their officers; and they held a meeting
-for prayer and praise, on the forecastle, evening and morning: I had
-some conversation with some of them who were natives of Scotland; but I
-was never actually present at any of the meetings. We were so crowded,
-that it was with difficulty we could move from one part of the ship to
-another; and we durst never be any time absent from the place where our
-arms were, lest we should lose them, and not find them readily, as we
-were under orders to be ready at a moment's notice to go into the boats.
-Our coming to this ship, was one of the steps of divine Providence for
-my good; for seeing and hearing something of religion in it, awakened
-once more in my heart, a concern for my soul; and, although it wore off,
-as before, it was a means of preventing me from becoming confirmed in a
-state of careless indifference.
-
-On the 18th June, the Captain 74, while under sail, happened to approach
-the shore, and went within reach of shot. When she put about, to stand
-out from the shore, she was fired upon from several points nearly in the
-same instant, and received some damage before she got out of reach. The
-batteries which fired upon her were concealed from view; and we were
-informed, that the shore was defended by batteries, at all the points
-where it was convenient to land. We were waiting for the arrival of some
-more troops from England, which were hourly expected, but did not
-arrive.--On the 20th, the enterprise was given up. It was said, that
-during the hazy weather, which had prevented us from seeing to any
-distance, re-enforcements had been sent into Belleisle. We returned to
-the isle of Houet, and to our tents, which had been left standing. Our
-number was said to be about 5000. On the next day, orders arrived for us
-to embark, which was done; and we sailed on the day following under
-sealed orders, and left the ships of war that belonged to the Channel
-fleet.
-
-We had a pleasant and quick passage to the Straits of Gibraltar, where
-our Commodore informed us, that we were destined for the island of
-Minorca, to join an expedition that was forming under Sir Ralph
-Abercrombie, to assist the Austrians in Italy. We passed through the
-Straits, but did not touch at Gibraltar. We arrived at Minorca on the
-21st July. We then learned, that Sir Ralph Abercrombie had already been
-at Leghorn; but that the Austrians having sustained a severe defeat from
-the French, under Buonaparte, had made an agreement, which did not allow
-of British troops being landed, and that Sir Ralph had brought back what
-troops he had to Minorca. We landed for refreshment and exercise on the
-7th of August, and the whole regiment embarked again, on the 30th, on
-board of the Stately, 64. We sailed on the 31st for Gibraltar, where we
-arrived on the 14th September. We were there joined by another
-expedition, under the command of Sir James Pulteney. They had sailed
-from England in the beginning of July, and had made a descent on the
-coast of Spain at Ferrol, but had not effected any thing, except
-alarming the country. There was now a large body of troops on board this
-fleet; their number being about 25000. There were in all, upwards of 100
-sail of large ships; two-thirds of which were war vessels of one
-description or other. We were in want of water, to get which, we went to
-Tetuan bay, which is on the Barbary shore, to the south-east of
-Gibraltar, belonging to Morocco. Here the whole fleet completed their
-stores of provisions and water. We set sail on the 27th, with an
-intention to pass the straits of Gibraltar; but the wind changed, and
-after beating about, we put back to Tetuan on the 29th. On the 1st
-October, the wind having become fair, we set sail, passed through the
-Straits, and anchored next day near to Cadiz in Spain. On the 3d of
-October we got orders to be in readiness to land. A flag of truce came
-from the shore to the Admiral on the 4th, and returned back the same
-day. On the 6th, the day being fine, we weighed anchor and stood across
-the bay of Cadiz, with the intention of landing near the town of St.
-Mary's. The dispositions having been made for landing, the ships of war,
-intended to cover the debarkation, were moving towards the shore, and a
-cutter had gone so near as to be fired upon. The first division of
-troops were in the boats, and had rowed off for the shore: we were all
-in readiness, and were receiving our ammunition; I had just got mine in
-six parcels, of ten cartridges each, when a flag of truce, which we had
-seen coming from the harbour, reached the Admiral's ship; and before I
-had got the half of the cartridges into my pouch, a signal was made by
-the Admiral, for the boats to return, and put the troops on board their
-respective ships, the design of landing being relinquished.--We were
-struck with the suddenness of the change. The flag of truce returned to
-the shore; and a report was spread, that the place had been ransomed by
-money; but whether there was any truth in this, or whether any political
-concession had been made, can not be known. There was one thing,
-however, and possibly it might be the only thing that prevented our
-landing; the plague was raging in Cadiz at the time.
-
-I have been somewhat minute in detailing this circumstance; but it has
-always appeared to me, a very striking occurrence in Providence; for, in
-a very few minutes, the war vessels would have opened their broadsides
-upon the troops and batteries on shore; the troops in the boats would
-soon have been under the enemy's fire, and probably have effected a
-landing; and, if hostilities had once commenced, it is difficult to
-tell, but the enterprise might have been pushed, until Cadiz had been
-taken, and their fleet of war-ships captured or destroyed, unless the
-Spanish force had been too strong for us.
-
-This event once more awakened me, by a sense of apparent danger. The
-prospect of having to contend with what troops might be in the field,
-and of having to attack fortified places, and the likelihood, that
-desperate efforts would be made to gain our purpose, before the
-Spaniards should have time to collect a large force in the field, made
-me apprehend that the undertaking was one of no ordinary danger. My
-conduct on this occasion was similar to what it had been on former
-occasions. I prayed for mercy and preservation. I still had no hope for
-eternity, but what was to arise out of future reformation of character,
-a reformation which was yet to begin. As formerly, I now again resolved
-to set about it:--but we left the bay of Cadiz on the 7th, and returned
-to Tetuan bay on the 12th, and part of the fleet put into Gibraltar: and
-the danger I had dreaded being thus past, the resolution it had excited
-was soon departed from.
-
-But another danger of a different kind was at hand. On the 15th, the
-north-east wind had risen to a great height, so that our boats, which
-had gone with empty casks to get water, were obliged to return to the
-ship and leave their casks on shore; and the storm kept increasing as
-the evening drew on. At 8 o'clock at night the splice of our cable
-slipped, and we began to drift. As we had only one other anchor on
-board, which was not sufficient to ride the storm with, we endeavoured
-to put to sea. It was at a great risk that we effected this. We were in
-the midst of a large fleet, and were every moment in danger of running
-foul of one or other of the ships. With difficulty we got the fore-sail,
-and some of the stay-sails set, and, although the night was very dark,
-by the goodness of God, we got clear out from the fleet, and steered for
-Gibraltar. When we came there, as we passed by the stern of the
-Admiral's ship, we were ordered to pass through the Straits, and anchor
-on the west side of Barbary. We accordingly put about, and passed
-through the Straits before the wind, going at the rate of seven miles an
-hour, under our bare poles. We had a large flat bottomed boat at our
-stern, which the stormy weather did not permit us to hoist on board; and
-by day-light in the morning, there was nothing of it remaining but the
-keel with the ring-bolt, by which it was towed. Before day-break we had
-cleared the Straits of Gibraltar. We then set some sail, and stood off
-and on the Barbary coast, until the 17th, when, the weather moderating,
-we cast anchor. On the 18th, the weather cleared up, and we perceived a
-number of the fleet at anchor to windward of us, nearer the shore, at
-about 20 miles distance. We weighed anchor and beat to windward to join
-them; but the weather again got squally, and about one o'clock a squall
-overtook us, which carried away our main-top, and top gallant, and mizen
-top-gallant masts. We shortly after came to anchor near the fleet, and
-the weather becoming moderate, in the course of next day, we got our
-damages pretty well repaired, and received an additional anchor from the
-Ajax man of war. On the 23d we set sail; passed once more through the
-Straits of Gibraltar; anchored in Tetuan bay for the third time on the
-26th; and after having completed our water, and received some more
-provisions, we sailed on the 8th Nov. for Minorca, to get our provisions
-and other ship stores completed.
-
-We now began to hear that we were bound for Egypt. At this we were all
-very sorry, not knowing when we might return, or who might have the
-happiness of seeing their native country again. I had often read and
-heard of the dangerous nature of the climate of Egypt and of the
-disasters of the French army there by the plague. The prospect now
-before us made a strong impression on my mind. I became more serious;
-religion began to be more attended to by several, and a party for prayer
-and conversation was formed; but I was not one of the number, being too
-proud to associate with them.
-
-We made the island of Minorca on the 16th; but the wind being strong and
-contrary, we did not get into the harbour until the 21st; and having
-obtained what we wanted, we set sail again on the 27th for Malta, where
-we arrived on the 6th December. The day we made the island was very
-fine, and as Malta was a place of note on various accounts, and amongst
-others, as being the place where the apostle Paul suffered shipwreck, I
-staid upon deck from the time we came in sight of it, which was in the
-morning, until we were anchored in the harbour. As we sailed along the
-island, I anxiously looked for the "_place where two seas met_." As we
-passed by the small island of Comena, the _creek_ where the apostle says
-they thrust in the ship, was easily discerned. It bears now the name of
-St. Paul's bay, and the channels between Comena, Goza, and Malta, meet
-at it, which marks it as the place which Paul describes.
-
-We left Malta on the 21st, and sailed for Marmorice bay in Asia. In our
-voyage, we coasted along the whole length of the south side of the
-island of Candia, which is ancient Crete, after which we came to the
-isle of Rhodes, which is only about 20 miles distant from the coast of
-Asia. I felt a more than usual interest in looking at those places, from
-what I had read of them in history, particularly from what is said of
-them in the Scriptures. Little did I think, in reading of them when a
-boy, that I should one day see them, or that I should do the duty of a
-soldier in the land of Egypt.
-
-From Rhodes we steered direct for the opposite coast of Asia, and,
-entering into a passage of some length, between two high hills, we
-wondered where we were going, for we did not see any place in this
-opening fit for ships to lie in, and the land on both sides was rocky
-hills, covered with wood, (except where the rocks were completely bare
-of soil,) and appeared to be the habitations of wild beasts. When we
-arrived very near the head of the inlet, we were surprised to see a ship
-that was a little ahead of us, get out of our sight almost in an
-instant; but when we had got a little farther, we found a passage which
-turned to the right, round a very perpendicular hill, as suddenly as if
-it had been the corner of a street. Into this passage we sailed. It was
-but short, and in a few minutes we entered into one of the largest and
-finest bays, it is said, in the world. Here we cast anchor on the 29th
-December, 1800, and lay until the 23d February, 1801, making
-arrangements for our attacking the French in Egypt; procuring horses for
-the use of the artillery and cavalry: and cutting wood for fuel, and for
-making fascines and pallisades in case they should be needed after we
-landed. The bay is nearly surrounded with high hills, which, except in
-and about the small town of Marmorice, are covered with wood, in general
-very thick. There are great numbers of wild beasts in the woods, which
-make so much noise in the night time as to be heard over the whole bay.
-There was a small plain on one side of the bay, where we pitched tents
-for those that were sick; but there was a necessity to have a guard, to
-keep on fires in the rear of the tents, during the night; and some
-nights the noise of the wild beasts indicated their being so near the
-tents, that the sentinels fired to keep them at a distance. Some seamen
-belonging to one of the war ships, who were cutting wood at one place,
-ventured to stay all night on the shore; they were killed by the wild
-beasts before morning.
-
-We were not long in this place until a market was erected on shore, and
-vessels from the adjacent coast soon found their way to it, with all
-kinds of fruit, and sheep and goats, and other useful articles; so that
-that part of the shore assumed the appearance of one of our country
-fairs. The soil around the bay is to all appearance fertile; but
-cultivation has been on the decline for a long time past, which has
-allowed the wood to extend, in several places, to the very shores. At
-some distant period the shores seem to have been better peopled, and the
-wood to have been farther back. I found the ruins of a house upon the
-top of a small eminence, pretty far back in the woods. The walls were
-partly standing; trees were growing out of the floor; a plot of ground,
-which had been levelled for a garden, still retained its shape, and had
-a fine spring of water running through it. Land turtle is in plenty in
-the woods.
-
-I shall now return, to state what were the exercises of my mind during
-the passage up the Mediterranean, and while we lay in this bay.--A book
-upon the first principles of astronomy fell in my way. This gave me a
-new view of creation: and at the same time a treatise on Philology came
-into my hands, in which was a descant on the glory of God in the works
-of nature. I had undergone some very sharp convictions of sin, my mind
-had been strongly impressed with eternal things, and I had persuaded two
-of my comrades to join with me in prayer; which we did on several
-occasions, but fell off from it. After reading the above-mentioned
-books, and several volumes of the Spectator, my mind fell into a strange
-speculative frame, on the duty of the creature to glorify its Creator,
-let the Creator do what he will to the creature. I reasoned thus with
-myself:--That every thing that God did was wise and just, therefore it
-was our duty to glorify God for all that he did to us, whether it was in
-judgment or in mercy: did he deal with us in mercy--gratitude ought to
-lead us to glorify him: did he deal with us in judgment--it was our own
-sins that provoked him to do it: he did no more than what was just; and
-we were as really bound to glorify him for his justice, as for his
-mercy; and if we did not do so, we augmented our guilt. By reasoning in
-this way, I came at last to a fallacious and very dangerous conclusion,
-under the guise of wisdom. I concluded, that if I could not lessen what
-guilt was already contracted, neither altogether avoid contracting more,
-it would be wise to contract as little additional guilt as possible; and
-that, should God deal with me in justice, I must not complain and
-murmur; he is holy, just, and wise; he will not punish me above what I
-deserve; whatever he does with me, his creature, it becomes me to
-glorify his name, by a cheerful acquiescence in his divine procedure;
-yea, to glorify Him, should I be for ever damned. By doing this, I may
-possibly make hell more tolerable than otherwise it would be: if I can
-not escape his justice, by his not granting me mercy, let me behave in
-such a manner as may make the consequences of his wrath sit the lighter
-upon me.--I shudder to think on this part of my experience at this day;
-on the pain of mind with which it was accompanied, and the fallacious
-and dangerous opiate which the conclusion contained to lull my
-conscience asleep; for I did in consequence fall into a careless and
-listless state of mind. But, by the goodness of God, I was not allowed
-to remain long under it. It happened one day shortly after, that, from
-eating salt provisions, and from the extreme scantiness of water, I
-became exceedingly thirsty, and with great difficulty procured a little
-to drink. A thought then shot across my mind:--if I am so impatient
-under a temporary thirst, and so eager to procure relief, how shall I
-preserve my patience in hell?--if I am so unhappy under the pressure of
-so trivial a circumstance, how much more unhappy shall I be, if I be
-cast into everlasting burnings, where I shall not have one drop of water
-to cool my tongue! This broke the delusion, but it did not eradicate it.
-
-An infectious fever broke out among us. It was at first slow in its
-progress, but after a short time it began to infect numbers. Our
-condition on board the Stately contributed towards it; for we had no
-hammocks, nor beds, but only our camp blankets to sleep in; we lay upon
-the under deck, and, when the weather was stormy, so much water leaked
-in by the edges of the ports, as made the lee side of the ship very wet.
-When she tacked, the water that was lying in the lee side would then run
-across the whole deck; and although we dried it the best way we could,
-yet we were so crowded that we were often under the necessity of lying
-down upon the damp deck. This was hurtful to us, causing us to feel
-stiff, and our bones sore; and although it did not _produce_ the fever,
-(for it was introduced by some recruits who came on board at Malta,) it
-was, in my opinion, one cause of its spreading so rapidly at last.
-
-I caught this fever at the time it began to spread, and it was pretty
-severe upon me. I got better, and relapsed, and the second turn of it
-was worse than the first.[5] While under it I had time to consider
-myself more fully. My present condition was so painful, that I would
-have done all in my power, and given all I could possess, to be free
-from it; and yet with my most sanguine hopes, I could not expect hell to
-be one half so tolerable. What, thought I, is the glory of God to me as
-a creature? If that same glory only renders me miserable, will the
-misery of my condition if I am sent to hell, be in any measure
-alleviated, by the consideration, that the justice of God is glorified
-by my condemnation? It is true, I shall not cease to exist; but what
-pleasure can I have in my existence, unless I reap some benefit by it,
-by having some portion of happiness in it? If I am made completely
-miserable, and have no prospect of any portion of happiness for the
-future, my existence must prove my greatest misery. He who knows all
-things has said, "Good were it for that man, if he had never been born."
-If the justice of God dooms me to suffer for my sins, woe is me! I now
-exist, and I can not annihilate myself; nor can I fly from God's
-justice. I am a sinner, and if I receive not mercy, I must be for ever
-miserable! How awful is his justice! How great is his power! How daring
-and delusive the thought of hoping to find any portion of happiness in
-that place, where he has declared all is perfect misery; where nothing
-dwells but the terrors of the Almighty; where the subjects of his
-justice are a terror to themselves, and to each other; where there is
-nothing but weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!
-
-As I began to recover, I turned my thoughts more closely than before, to
-those places of Scripture which describe hell, the place of torment. I
-examined what the Scripture has said of its awful nature; that it is "a
-fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God;"--for "who
-knoweth the power of his anger?" and "our God is a consuming fire." I
-found, also, that the Scripture evidence of its being endless in its
-duration, was as conclusive as that of the endless duration of the
-happiness of heaven. He who said that the one was eternal, said the same
-of the other. But, when contemplating this awful subject, I was at times
-tempted to think, "It may be, that although God has said so, he may not
-intend to execute his dreadful threatening to the full extent: there may
-be a future period, in which he will extend mercy to his creatures, but
-which he has kept hid from them, for wise purposes, that they might not
-presume on his mercy, and spend their present lives in sin, and not
-repent in this world, because there would be an opportunity to repent in
-the next."--But this reasoning did not long deceive me; for I continued
-to ponder the subject, and I saw that such a notion did not consist with
-the veracity of God. He could not say one thing, while he intended
-another; if I admitted that he said one thing and intended another, with
-respect to the duration of punishment in hell, it would, with equal
-consistency, apply to what he said of the endless happiness of heaven,
-and so render uncertain any hope that might be built upon the promise of
-it; and if the principle were in one case admitted, it would throw loose
-all his promises and threatenings, respecting both this world and the
-next; for we should still have room to think, God has said so, but he
-does not mean so.--I also reflected, if God has said, that the
-punishment of hell shall be eternal, and has a secret purpose of mercy
-at some distant period, if this is a secret of his own, how can any one
-know it? If he has not told it, how is it possible for any one to find
-out that which God intends should be secret? Reflection upon this idea,
-put an end to the speculation, as being a gross absurdity. I also
-reflected on the nature of sin;--I said to myself, "Supposing I were
-cast into hell for the sins of my present life, would I cease to commit
-sin when there? and if I did what was in itself sinful in hell, would
-the torments of the place excuse it? would the justice of God take no
-cognisance of what I did there?" This was a piercing exercise to my
-mind: but it was salutary; and I believe I was indebted to what I had
-read in Boston's Fourfold State for it, although I was not aware of it
-at the time. I answered the above queries in this way: If, when I am in
-a state of partial sufferings here, I am not able to suffer without
-being at least impatient and fretful, if I do not actually complain and
-murmur--how can I expect to behave any better in hell? My present
-sufferings do not excuse the sins I commit under them; I shall then, as
-well as now, be a subject of the justice of God; and when I shall be
-suffering for past sins, that will be no excuse for the commission of
-new ones; if I am to make the debt of sin less by suffering for it, I
-must not contract more debt at the time I am paying the old; for if I
-do, I shall continue to be a debtor; and as long as I continue to commit
-sin, I must continue to suffer for it, for the claims of Divine justice
-are indispensable. Following out these reflections put a complete end to
-all speculation, of the probability, or possibility, of ever finding any
-portion of happiness, if I did not obtain the pardon of my sins, and
-deliverance from sin itself, before I left this world, and appeared in
-the presence of God.--These speculations show that my mind was ready to
-catch at any thing, that appeared to furnish the least hope, however
-delusive it might be; for when I looked forward to eternity, not having
-the confidence that arises from faith in the Lord Jesus, as an
-all-sufficient Saviour, and not discerning the doctrine of his complete
-atonement and justifying righteousness, I was glad to lay hold of any
-thing that appeared to afford the smallest glimpse of hope, rather than
-be without hope altogether.
-
-Having, by the goodness of God, recovered from the fever, the effect of
-it was to make me resolve once more to devote myself to his service.
-Gratitude for his mercy in my recovery induced me to do this; and I
-hoped for better success in my endeavours than heretofore: but alas! it
-was not long before my conscience found matter of accusation against me;
-and this threw me as far back as ever. I searched for a reason why I
-failed in my attempts to serve God; but I did not find the true one. I
-began to lay the blame on the example and conversation of my comrades;
-and would fain have palliated the evil of my conduct on this ground, and
-flattered myself that God would therefore be the less strict with me.
-But then I reflected, that it would be a pernicious and fatal delusion
-for me, to flatter myself with any thing that would not stand the test
-of his judgment seat. I found no toleration for sin, in any situation,
-in the word of God; and my conscience charged me, not only with wilful
-sins, for which I could devise no excuse, but also with loving sin
-itself, which God hateth. Yet, as experience had taught me that one
-thing led to another, I determined to keep myself as much as possible
-out of the company of the profligate, and profane, and loose talkers,
-and to keep my mind as constantly fixed as possible on serious subjects.
-I set heaven with all its charms before my mind, as the object to be
-gained, and hell with all its terrors, as the object to be escaped. I
-contrasted time with eternity, and said to myself, Surely eternity is of
-such vast importance, as to be worth all the sufferings that can be
-endured, and all the exertions that can be made, in the narrow bounds of
-human life. I again set out in a new course of obedience, resolved to
-watch all the avenues to temptation; and, under the influence of this
-resolution, I avoided, as much as I could, in my present situation,
-those whose conversation I wished to shun; but it was impossible to be
-always out of the hearing of it;--all I could do, was not to mingle in
-converse with them; and I have frequently stopped my ears with my
-fingers, that I might not hear licentious and profane talk, when I knew
-it was going on: but I could not do this on every occasion, and when I
-did get it done, it gave me a proof of the deceitfulness of my own
-heart; for evil thoughts and sinful desires would spring up in it even
-at the time when I was stopping my ears, that I might not hear the
-wicked conversation of others. To this, however, I was not sufficiently
-attentive, but laid the blame, in some shape or other, on the
-temptations with which I was surrounded, as being, either directly or
-indirectly, the cause why I was not able to keep my own heart. This led
-me to despair of my ever being able to serve God aright, and obtain his
-favour by keeping his commandments while I remained in the army. I
-therefore began to wish I were free of it, and placed in a situation
-where I should have it in my power to enjoy solitude, and keep out of
-the way of temptation. I thought that of a hermit a very favourable one;
-not that I wished to be a hermit altogether, but I fancied if I were
-only in a situation in which I could keep myself, in a great measure,
-secluded from the world, and give myself to reading, meditation, and
-devotion, I should then serve God in a perfect manner. Here again I
-began to reflect--What if God cuts me off for my sins while I am in the
-army? What shall become of me? Have I any hope if I should die, or be
-slain, while in the army? To this perplexing question I could give no
-answer; all I could do, was to pray to God to spare my life, to deliver
-me from the army, and to bring me into a situation in which I should
-have it in my power to serve him. But my mind soon misgave me, and led
-me to suspect that this was not right; and on examining it, I became
-convinced that I was equally bound to serve God in my present situation
-as in any other. Our Lord's answer to Paul's prayer, "My grace is
-sufficient for thee," and many other promises of God to his people came
-into my mind; and, although I did not understand them aright, yet they
-convinced me that my situation would not be an excuse for my sins; they
-convinced me, that if I was one of God's children, his grace would be
-sufficient to enable me to serve him acceptably, whatever situation his
-providence might allot me. But knowing, at the same time, that bad
-company had a great effect in confirming evil habits, I still thought,
-that were I but free of the army, I should have a great deal less to
-struggle with. Before I was free of the army, however, experience
-convinced me that solitude was no antidote to a deceitful heart; for in
-the solitary hours of night, while watching and on guard, and during the
-sleepless nights passed in the hospital, I found abundance of sinful
-thoughts and desires arise in my heart.
-
-I next went to the opposite extreme, and imagined a state of unremitting
-activity was the best. I thought that were I discharged and at home, I
-should then enjoy the means of grace on the Sabbath; that my work would
-occupy my mind the greater part of my time through the week; and that I
-should then have it in my power so to regulate my conduct, as to take up
-my whole attention between lawful and serious things, and thus leave no
-vacant room in my mind for evil thoughts, or what might lead me to the
-commission of sin.
-
-Under these exercises of mind I continued until the time when we left
-Marmorice Bay, which was on the 23d February, 1801, when the fleet
-weighed anchor, and were all safely collected upon the coast, outside of
-the bay, before sun-set, and then steered their course for Egypt. A
-Turkish Admiral, with two or three frigates, had joined the fleet. A
-number of Greek vessels also were with us, which had been hired to
-transport the horses that had been procured at Marmorice, for the use of
-the artillery, cavalry, and field officers. The wind was brisk, but the
-evening was fine, and as our fleet consisted of near two hundred sail,
-many of which were large and elegant ships, it had a grand and
-interesting appearance. This interest was heightened by the
-consideration of the sea, and the coast, that we were sailing on, for
-the celebrated island of Rhodes was on our right, and the coast of Asia
-Minor on our left. The various nations on board of this fleet, as seamen
-and soldiers, was novel and striking, for there were Turks, Greeks, and
-English, with Corsicans, and a brigade of soldiers in our service,
-composed of men from various parts of Germany, but the part that the
-soldier was destined to act in the enterprise before us, was to him the
-most interesting contemplation, for his personal safety was the most
-deeply involved in the undertaking. The wind continued to freshen, and
-"the fleet had not stood long on its course before one of the Greek
-vessels, laden with mules, foundered, and one man alone was saved." The
-Turkish frigates and Greek vessels left us, and took shelter in the
-nearest ports. The weather was not what we considered bad, but they were
-not good navigators: their departure, however, was a serious loss to the
-army, for the want of the horses on board of them. The weather became
-moderate, and on the 28th we fell in with our squadron that was
-blockading Alexandria, and on the 1st March discovered land somewhat to
-the westward of that place. The wind had been light through the day, but
-freshened during the night, and there were heavy showers of rain. This
-made the soldiers remark, that if there was no rain in Egypt, there was
-rain very near it; some who were of a deistical turn began to insinuate
-that the Bible had not given a correct account of Egypt; and the
-apparent contradiction made some of us rather at a loss to reconcile it.
-During the course of conversation on this subject, I heard one observe,
-that the Bible did not say directly that there never was any rain in
-Egypt, but that when it spoke of there being no rain there, it referred
-to the agriculture of Egypt, not depending, like that of other
-countries, upon rain, but upon the annual inundations of the Nile.[6]
-This is the fact; but it is also true, that although during the winter
-season there are thunder storms and rain on the sea-coast, yet these
-seldom go far into the country, and at Grand Cairo rain is a great
-rarity. After the regiment had been at that city and returned, and after
-we left Egypt, having staid in it six months, I never heard any one urge
-the objection any more. All agreed that the scripture account of Egypt
-was as true as general expressions could describe it; so that this, like
-many other infidel objections, was founded on an apparent, not a real
-contradiction. The universal remark upon the country was, that they
-believed a remnant of the plagues of Moses still existed in it.
-
-Footnote 5:
-
- There were few of the regiment that escaped it; all relapsed after the
- first recovery, and those who were longest of catching the infection
- were worst.
-
-Footnote 6:
-
- Zech. xiv. 18. Deut. xi. 10, and connexion.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V.
-
-
-On the forenoon of the 2d March, we cast anchor in Aboukir Bay, the
-place where the battle of the Nile was fought. Here we lay until the
-8th, before the weather would permit us to land; a period of great
-anxiety, for every hour was giving the enemy time to collect his forces,
-and prepare the means of defence. This made the prospect increasingly
-awful. Our regiment was intended to have been one of those which should
-land first; but the fever having increased so much, that about one half
-of our number were at this time sick, we were unfit to perform a
-regiment's part, and another of equal strength was put in our place. The
-bay was shallow, and the ships which contained the troops being in
-general of a large size, had to anchor at a considerable distance from
-the shore. On the 7th, a number of smaller vessels which had been loaded
-with provisions, but whose cargoes were now nearly expended, were moved
-to about three miles from the shore; and several regiments were put on
-board of them, that support might be quickly given to those who landed
-first. All of our regiment fit for duty were ordered into one of these
-vessels in the evening. The weather was now favourable, and every thing
-indicated that the landing would be attempted next morning. I slept
-little or none during the night; but frequently employed myself in short
-prayers to God to be merciful to me, and to spare me and protect me from
-danger.--I was surprised this night with a want of my ordinary sight,
-and heard numbers of my comrades say that they did not see so well as
-usual, and yet they had no pain in their eyes.
-
-About two o'clock in the morning the signal was made for the first
-division of the troops to get into the boats, and at three o'clock they
-were ordered to row for their rendezvous in the rear of one of the light
-war-vessels that was anchored about a gun-shot from the shore. This was
-a very fatiguing service to the seamen; because the fleet was so widely
-anchored, and many of the large ships so far from the shore, that it was
-nine o'clock before they were all collected and arranged. The enemy
-could see all our movements; and the unavoidable delays that took place,
-gave them a fair opportunity to provide for their defence, for they now
-knew the only point at which we could land. I contemplated the scene
-with an anxious aching heart. The number of troops in the boats was
-about 5500, and the whole army about 15,000, of which there were about
-1000 sick at the time of landing, and of these about 400 belonged to our
-own regiment.--There were two bomb ketches and three sloops of war,
-anchored with their broadsides to the shore; on the right flank of the
-boats there were a cutter, two Turkish gun-boats, and two armed
-launches; and on the left flank, a cutter, a schooner, one gun-boat, and
-two launches. These light vessels were to go as near the shore as the
-water would admit, to annoy the enemy and protect the boats.
-
-At nine o'clock the signal was made for the boats to advance; and the
-whole line advanced at the same instant, giving three loud cheers. "The
-French, to the number of two thousand, were posted on the top of
-sand-hills, forming the concave arc of a circle on the front of about a
-mile, in the centre of which elevated itself, a nearly perpendicular
-height of sixty yards, apparently inaccessible."[7] The left of this
-rising ground was a continuation of sand-hills close to the shore,
-gradually diminishing in their height until they ended in a long flat
-tongue forming the entrance of Lake Maadie. The ground to the right of
-the centre height on the shore was flat, but there were clusters of
-thick bushes, (such as form the date or palm tree), which were
-favourable for concealing the enemy; and on the extremity of the right
-stood the castle of Aboukir, in which were several 10 inch mortars, and
-a large Martello tower, having two brass 32 pounders on its top, and
-which, from its position and height, commanded nearly the whole shore.
-As soon as the boats set off for the beach, the two bomb ketches, and
-the three sloops of war, began to throw their shot and shells upon the
-shore; and the light vessels, stationed to protect the flanks of the
-boats, moved along with them and began to fire. The bulk of the enemy's
-field artillery was in the flat ground, to the right of the height
-before mentioned, the rest was among the smaller sand-hills on the left
-of it. As soon as the boats were within the reach of their shot, they
-opened their fire on them; and it appeared to be their design, to make
-their shot cross the boats in the centre. The heavy guns on the top of
-the tower in Aboukir castle, and the mortars, commenced, at the same
-time, their fire on the right flank of the boats. The scene now became
-dreadful; the war vessels pouring whole broadsides; the bomb ketches
-throwing shells, which, exploding in the air, formed numerous little
-clouds; and the gun-boats and cutters on the flanks of the boats,
-exerting themselves to the utmost. As none of these, however, could
-approach the shore, so near as to be within the reach of grape-shot, or
-even to have a certain aim, their exertions were of little benefit to
-the boats; which pursued their progress towards the shore, whilst the
-enemy's artillery, (12 pieces, exclusive of the large guns in Aboukir
-castle), continued to play upon them with unremitting activity. All eyes
-were directed towards the boats; every flash of the enemy's artillery
-was noticed; and every eye on the stretch, to discern where the shot
-might strike the water, to observe if it lighted among the boats, and if
-any of them were damaged or sunk; and we too often had occasion to
-picture to our minds, when we saw the shot strike in the middle of them,
-and produce disorder, how many it might have killed, or wounded, or
-drowned; for my own part, although I felt thankful that I was not myself
-in the boats, yet my feelings for those that were, were nearly, if not
-altogether, as painful, as if I had been in them; and I believe that
-this was the case with the most of the spectators. But while we were
-thus feeling for them, we became increasingly astonished to behold how
-the boats pressed forwards towards the shore, although the wind, of
-which there was a smart breeze, was against them; how well they
-preserved their order under the terrible fire of the enemy's artillery;
-and how quickly any disorder produced by the shot that fell amongst them
-was remedied. The painful feelings of anxious apprehension and suspense
-experienced by those in the boats, must have been greatly heightened by
-the circumstance, that most of the shells and shot fired by our war
-vessels were necessarily fired over their heads, they being between the
-vessels and the enemy: so that an ill-directed shot from their own
-ships, was as dangerous to them as one from the shore; and when buzzing
-through the air over them, must have been apprehended as one from the
-enemy, about to strike destruction amongst them.
-
-As the boats approached the shore, the enemy moved their artillery that
-was on their right, and drew it nearer to their centre. It appeared to
-be a part of their object, to keep the extreme right of the boats
-betwixt their artillery and the war vessels, and thus prevent the war
-vessels from having a clear opening to direct their fire: and indeed all
-our fire, from all descriptions of vessels, did not seem to interrupt
-for a moment that of the enemy, or to silence a single gun all the time
-the troops were rowing to the beach. When they approached near to it,
-the enemy having drawn their artillery from the right, planted it on the
-top of the centre height, which now appeared to look directly down upon
-the boats: and now came the most trying moment. From this elevated
-position they poured down such a continued fire of shot, shell, and
-grape, as made us, who were looking on, apprehend that few would reach
-the shore. Some disorder too appearing among the boats increased our
-fears; but at this instant we heard them begin to cheer, and saw them
-press forward with redoubled vigour. We soon observed the right flank of
-the boats reach the shore under the centre height,[8] and the men form
-immediately on the beach; while the enemy from the top of the height
-poured down grape shot, as well as the fire of musketry from a line of
-infantry which was ranged along it. In a few seconds the 40th flank
-companies, and the 23d regiment, were in line; and, without firing a
-shot, ascended the height in the face of the enemy. This movement was
-clearly seen by the whole fleet, and attracted all eyes.--The spectators
-began to tremble, lest the enemy should drive them down again; but we
-were astonished to see with what rapidity and order they mounted the
-steep face of the height. They were soon close to the enemy, and charged
-them with loud cheers, when the enemy fled, and in an instant both
-parties were out of sight. The 42d regiment, which had landed and
-formed, was now seen ascending the left of the height, and charging the
-enemy opposed to them, who also fled and disappeared. We now turned our
-attention more to the left, where part of the troops were forming on the
-beach; but the left of the boats had not yet reached the shore. The
-enemy, who had been posted among the smaller sand-hills, as soon as the
-boats came near the shore, rushed down into the water, fired into them,
-and endeavoured to prevent their landing. A party of cavalry also
-charged those who were in the act of landing, which produced a temporary
-confusion; but they were soon wholly repulsed. All the troops were
-landed, and the beach, and the heights that lined it, cleared of the
-enemy, I believe, in less than a quarter of an hour, and nothing to be
-seen by the spectators, but the empty boats, hoisting their sails, and
-proceeding with all possible speed to receive the second division. Some
-of them soon reached the ship I was in, and with all haste we got into
-them and rowed for the shore. On the way I saw some boats swamped, which
-had been struck with large shot; but the men who were in them had been
-picked up by the small boats, which followed those that had troops in
-them, for this express purpose. The number of boats, that were seriously
-damaged, was small, compared with what might have been expected; but
-they were in general less or more perforated with grape shot and
-musketry. The boat in which I was had an oar broken, and was otherwise
-damaged; but none of the men were killed or seriously wounded in her.
-
-We soon reached the shore, at a place where it was deeper than common:
-and with a leap I landed dry shod. The first thing I saw, as I passed
-along the beach, was some Frenchmen lying dead within the edge of the
-water. The beach was strewed with dead and wounded men, with horses, and
-artillery taken from the enemy: but the action was over. We formed in a
-hollow on the left of the centre height, where the 42d had repulsed a
-charge of cavalry; some of the 42d, and also of the cavalry, with their
-horses, were stretched dead upon the sand:--we were soon ready, and
-advanced through the first range of sand-hills, and found the first
-division formed with their artillery, which had landed along with them,
-and was drawn by seamen. This circumstance had materially contributed to
-the success of the landing; for the enemy were astonished to find that
-our artillery was landed as soon as the troops, and began to fire upon
-them as soon as the musketry of the infantry. Eight pieces of cannon
-were taken from the enemy; but the army lost in this affair, one hundred
-and two killed, five hundred and fifteen wounded, and thirty-five
-missing; the loss of the navy was twenty-two killed, seventy-two
-wounded, and three missing, making a total of seven hundred and
-forty-nine, the greater part of which were killed or wounded in the
-boats, previous to landing.
-
-During the course of the day the troops were all landed; we did not
-however advance far that day, but took up a position at no great
-distance from the shore. Our first concern was to learn whether water
-could be got in this sandy desert; and we were glad to find that it
-could be obtained in the hollows, by digging a little way in the sand.
-When night came on we stationed our guards, and lay upon the sand,
-covering ourselves with our blankets. This night I was surprised to find
-that I could see nothing, and I continued to be in this state every
-night, until the night of the 20d: in the day time I saw as well as ever
-I did, and had no pain in my eyes.
-
-On the morning of the 9th our regiment, along with a party of Corsican
-riflemen, advanced along the peninsula about three miles from where we
-landed, to a place where it was contracted into less than half a mile in
-breadth. Here was a redoubt and a flag-staff, for communicating signals
-betwixt Aboukir castle and Alexandria: but the enemy had left it, and
-thrown a large gun, intended to be mounted on it, into the ditch. In the
-course of the day, the 42d regiment and others, came and occupied this
-position, and we returned to our former one, where we remained until the
-morning of the 12th, waiting for the landing of some horses, ammunition,
-and provisions, from the fleet. We made booths of the branches of the
-date (or palm tree), to shelter ourselves from the dew, which fell very
-copiously, and we had sometimes heavy showers of rain and hail, which
-made it pretty cold. The thermometer was frequently below 50.
-
-On the morning of the 12th, having filled our canteens with water, and
-furnished ourselves with three days provisions, the whole army advanced.
-Having proceeded a little beyond the narrow neck of the peninsula, the
-enemy's cavalry began to skirmish; our march was slow and often
-interrupted; the surface of the ground being very uneven, the sand very
-deep, and the day very warm, parties were frequently sent to assist the
-seamen with the guns, and even those guns which had horses to draw them,
-were unable to get forward, for the horses had never been used to the
-draught, and were often unmanageable.--Before evening we came within
-sight of the enemy's army posted on a height. Their strength was about
-6000 men, of which 600 were cavalry, with 20 to 30 pieces of cannon. As
-it was too late to engage them that night, we halted, and began to dig
-for water; for we had made use of all that we had, and were now very
-thirsty. The place where we began to dig, was a deep soil of black
-earth, and below it a clayish mixture. About four or five feet from the
-surface, water began to appear in small quantities; each company dug a
-well; but before the one to which I belonged had found water, the
-regiment was ordered upon picquet. There was no help for it. We were
-posted along the front of the army, only those who were blind were not
-put on sentry, but left in groupes, a little in the rear. There were
-nearly twenty of a company in this condition. We felt very unhappy; for
-we had to remain in the spot where we were, until, when it was necessary
-to shift our position, some one who had sight came to conduct us to
-another place: we then took hold of one another, and were led in a
-string; and, had a party of the enemy made a dash at the place where we
-were, we were unable either to have resisted or fled.
-
-On the morning of the 13th we were ordered to advance in front of the
-army, to form, along with the 90th regiment, the advanced guard. We had
-no time to procure water, but got a little rum, and began our march,
-leaving our knapsacks with a guard. We had not advanced far, before our
-light company, which was in front, came upon the enemy's picquets, and a
-skirmishing began, which increased as we advanced. The light company was
-reinforced several times, the enemy's picquets getting stronger as they
-retreated, being joined by those who were in their rear. The ground
-through which we marched was interspersed with thick bushes; but we
-approached a rising ground, on which the main body of the enemy's army
-was drawn up in order of battle. The ascent to this height was entirely
-bare, and also the ground to the left of it, which projected to Lake
-Maadie.--Our regiment kept to the side of the lake; the 90th was on our
-right; and the army followed us in two lines. Our parties in front
-pressed eagerly upon the enemy's picquets, which caused the regiment to
-march pretty quickly, in order to be near them for their support; and
-this led us to get a considerable way in advance of the army, which
-could not follow with the same speed.--There was one nine pounder
-field-piece, and one four and a half inch howitzer, along with us; but
-very little ammunition with them. Armed launches too had kept pace with
-the left of the army upon the lake; but it was now so shallow that they
-could not follow us farther.--As soon as the 90th regiment had cleared
-the broken ground, and began to ascend the height on which the enemy's
-army was posted, a heavy column of cavalry was observed coming forward
-to charge them. The front section of the 90th halted, and the regiment
-formed line with all expedition. The front section of the enemy's
-cavalry wheeled, as soon as it came opposite the right of the 90th, and
-began to form line. The two parties formed opposite and very near each
-other, but the cavalry line was formed first. The rear sections of the
-90th had not time to reach the extent of the line, and closed upon the
-rear of the left, making it six or eight deep, but they had a clear view
-of the horsemen who were on higher ground. The cavalry advanced upon
-them with their swords raised; the 90th stood firm, until the cavalry
-were so near the right of their line, that they were going to strike at
-them with their swords; they then began to fire, and it ran from right
-to left like a rattling peal of thunder. It was one of the most terrible
-discharges of musketry I ever saw; and, from the nearness of the enemy,
-it was dreadfully destructive. The cavalry instantly retreated, and many
-horses ran away with empty saddles. During the time of this transaction,
-which was over in a few seconds, our regiment made a momentary pause. On
-the retreat of the cavalry we again advanced. The enemy then began to
-open their artillery upon us from the heights. We still pressed on; but
-as they saw all our movements, and perceived that we were considerably
-advanced before the army, they formed the resolution to attack us with
-all their force; and accordingly marched to their right down the height,
-and, when on the plain, formed line, and came forward. When we perceived
-their movement, we halted, formed five companies in line; posted the
-other five in the rear of scattered bushes on the left towards the lake,
-and awaited their approach. We cannonaded them with our two pieces, but
-our ammunition being soon expended, the guns were drawn into the rear.
-
-During the time that we were advancing, I had frequently and earnestly
-prayed to God, to spare and protect me. Our present situation was one of
-imminent danger; part of the enemy's artillery were playing upon us from
-the rising ground towards the right; and in front, the enemy, with the
-rest of his artillery, was advancing in great force, in a line formed
-like the blade of a scythe, the curved point to our left on the shore of
-the lake, and that part of it appeared to be composed of cavalry.[9] It
-seemed to be the enemy's intention to come round our left, and get into
-our rear with that part of their line, while the rest of it attacked us
-in front, and out-flanked us on the right, by which they would have
-completely surrounded us, and either destroyed or carried us prisoners,
-before the main body of the army could arrive to assist us. This was
-their only object. They were too weak to attack the army on level ground
-with any hope of success; but they were more than competent to take or
-destroy our party, which did not amount to 500 men. I was near the left
-of the line, and beheld the advance of the enemy with an anxious mind;
-but as we were standing in a fixed position, I had some leisure for
-reflection; and as death was once more staring me in the face, I began
-to inquire "what hope have I for eternity, if I am cut off at this
-time?" I confessed my sins in the words of the 51st Psalm; and besought
-God to pardon them, and give me a new heart; I then thought, "If we are
-mostly cut down at this time, and have to appear before God, will he
-make no difference between me and those around me, many of whom, in
-place of calling upon him, profane his name?" I then endeavoured to lay
-hold on the mercies promised to the penitent and contrite in heart. I
-thought I was sorry for my sins, and confessed them without guile, and
-on this account I endeavoured to hope for mercy, thus resting partly on
-the difference that I conceived to be between my own character and that
-of others, and partly on my contrition and repentance before God. But my
-mind was still dissatisfied; I still feared the worst; I knew not the
-merits of a Saviour's righteousness; my hope was not built upon him but
-on myself, and could not be satisfactory. I therefore cried to God to
-spare me once more, and promised that my future life should be devoted
-to his service. The Lord was pleased to hear my cry, and to protect me
-during the awful scene that was just about to commence. The enemy's line
-had advanced within about 300 yards, and brought two-field pieces in
-front of the company I was in, and fired them at us. One of the balls
-came skimming along the surface of the ground. I caught a view of it at
-some distance, and thought it was coming directly to me. It grazed a
-small hillock of rubbish a few yards in our front, and laid down the
-second file on my right. It struck the left leg of the front rank man in
-the centre, passing through it, and leaving a part of the skin on each
-side. It grazed the calf of the rear rank man's left leg, tearing it,
-and carrying part of it away. The small stones which it drove from the
-rubbish-hillock hurt our faces, and a quantity of them entered into the
-lacerated limbs of the wounded like hail. The one whose leg was broken
-died some time after he had undergone amputation; the other also died
-some months after in Rosetta. I thought that the hillock of rubbish had
-perhaps altered the direction of the ball, else it might have struck me;
-and while I felt for my comrades, I thanked God that I had escaped.
-
-We were now anxious for orders to commence firing, as the enemy were
-still marching forwards; the ground in front was somewhat undulated,
-rising a little, for about 200 yards in our front, and then gently
-falling. Our commanding officer allowed them to advance, as far as to
-the highest part in our front; and whenever we saw their feet
-distinctly, gave orders to fire. This was eagerly done; and the moment
-we began firing, the enemy's line, in place of rushing forward, and
-destroying us in an instant, made a halt from right to left, and opened
-their fire upon us. As we were most afraid of the two pieces of
-artillery in front playing upon us with grape-shot, those around me
-directed their fire chiefly at them, which I believe caused them to be
-removed to one of the flanks. We then levelled at those directly in our
-front; but the smoke soon covered them so much, that a particular object
-was not visible. We then took aim at where we judged their line was; but
-we were not so much afraid of those directly in our front, as of a body
-which appeared to be cavalry, and which threatened to come round our
-left into our rear.--In order to keep them back; those near me directed
-nearly the one half of their fire against them; for we feared that those
-who were posted in the rear of the bushes to our left, would not be able
-to prevent them from advancing, the bushes being widely scattered, so
-that they might have been easily passed. These men, however, did their
-duty most admirably. The enemy opened a fire of grape-shot, from several
-pieces of artillery, to dislodge them; but they bravely maintained their
-post. Our ranks were now getting thinner; our commanding officer,
-Lieutenant Colonel Erskine, was severely wounded with grape shot in
-several parts of the body.[10] The officer commanding the company I was
-in, was also wounded, and many more.--After we had fired about 12
-rounds, whilst I was in the act of loading, I was struck by a musket
-ball in the left side, near the pit of the stomach, close to the ribs,
-and was whirled round on my heels by the force of the stroke. I was
-stunned and felt great pain; and, concluding that I was wounded, I stept
-into the rear and grasped the place with my hand. I found the skin was
-entire; and on shaking myself, the ball dropped at my feet. I then
-resumed my place in the ranks, and continued to fire until I had
-expended 22 rounds; when to our great joy, a party of marines, doing
-duty on shore, arrived on our right, and Dillon's regiment on our left.
-At the first fire of these troops, the enemy retreated with great
-precipitation. We pursued them to some distance; and Dillon's regiment
-coming up with a party of them, charged, and took two pieces of
-cannon.--The enemy was so closely pressed that he divided his forces,
-and part of them retreated to the left, through a shallow place of the
-Lake Maadie, the other part retired direct upon Alexandria. Had we had a
-proper proportion of cavalry, we might have captured all the enemy's
-artillery, and even have taken Alexandria itself; for we could have
-reached it before that part of the enemy's force which retreated to the
-left, as we were nearer it than they.
-
-The army formed in line on the heights which the enemy had occupied in
-the morning: they cannonaded us, and kept up a fire of sharp-shooters,
-by which we lost a number of men. A division of the army was detached to
-the left, to a height near to that of Alexandria; the reserve advanced
-on the right, and another division in the centre. Our regiment was part
-of the division sent to the left. The day was warm, and we suffered much
-from want of water. I have seen a Spanish dollar offered for a draught,
-and in many instances refused. The gunpowder which unavoidably got into
-our mouths by biting the ends of our cartridges while loading, tended
-greatly to augment our thirst.
-
-The enemy had now concentrated his forces on the heights of Alexandria.
-When he saw our division advancing to the left, he sent a party with two
-guns to cannonade us, and as we advanced nearer, he opened upon us a
-heavy fire of shot and shell. Our order of march was in divisions of
-companies; and, as we drew near the height, a cannon bail struck the
-ground, close to the right of the division of the company I was in. The
-ground happened to be soft mould; the ball lodged itself in the mould,
-and we were covered with the dust and small fragments of stones which it
-raised. It was a great mercy that the ground was not hard in that spot,
-as it was in the greatest part of the adjacent ground; for the ball
-would in that case have rebounded, and in all probability have laid down
-the front rank of the division. I felt thankful for deliverance, and
-continued to pray in my heart to God to spare and protect me.--We formed
-in close columns upon the height. The bed of a canal, over which was a
-bridge, lay in the bottom of the hollow that was betwixt us and the
-enemy's position: the bridge was defended by a party of cavalry and
-infantry, with two guns. The 44th regiment, being sent in front, charged
-the enemy with the bayonet, and captured the bridge; and the party which
-defended it retired into their own lines. During this operation the
-columns advanced, and began to descend into the hollow. Our regiment was
-in the front, the enemy played upon us with his artillery, to which we
-were now dreadfully exposed; but, after we had descended some way down
-the height, we were ordered to retire; and, as we retreated undercover
-of the height, we were partly screened from his fire. After we had
-remained in this position some time, our regiment was allowed to retire
-to the rear of the right of the centre division of the army. This
-division had been formed in line on the plain, and being wholly
-unprotected from the enemy's shot, had suffered very severely. They were
-still in this state; but they had now laid down their arms, and either
-sat or lay on the ground, by which means they were not so much exposed.
-We took up our position, and several men from each company were allowed
-to go in quest of water. I was one of them; and, as no one knew where to
-find it, we took different routes. After travelling some distance to the
-rear, I got information where water was to be had; and having made all
-haste to the spot, I found it, and instantly began to drink; but I
-thought I should never be satisfied. Never was any thing so precious to
-me in all my life as this water. After having drank a considerable
-quantity, I began to fill the canteens (of which I had ten) which I had
-brought to fetch it to those who remained; but many a drink I took
-before I had filled them. I then began to feel a little hungry, having
-eaten nothing from the preceding morning, lest it should increase my
-thirst. I sat down and took a piece of biscuit and a bit of pork, and
-began to eat; but still every mouthful required a little of the water;
-and I wished to be fully satisfied, before leaving the place, that I
-might not be under the necessity of drinking any of what I was carrying
-away. The water was white and muddy, but not thick; it was in a part of
-what had been the bed of a canal, or had been hollowed out by torrents
-coming from the heights in the winter season, across the mouth of which
-a bank had been thrown, which prevented the water from running into the
-lake, to which it was near. Having satisfied my thirst, I returned with
-a load of water to my comrades, to whom it was as acceptable as it had
-been to myself. We remained until near sun-set in the same position; and
-as the whole army was within reach of the enemy's shot, he continued
-less or more to cannonade us. When our regiment got on their feet and
-began to move, they fired at us from two of their heaviest guns. One of
-the balls rebounded from the ground, nearly killed our Major, and passed
-through the ranks: those opposite to it saw it, and were so fortunate as
-to make an opening, through which it passed without touching any one.
-
-By sun-set the army took up its position on the heights from which the
-enemy had been driven on the morning, with our right to the sea, and our
-left to the canal that separated Lake Maadie from the bed of Lake
-Marcotis.--As soon as our position was adjusted, and we had liberty to
-pile our arms, the cry was for more water; and as I had been sent for it
-before, and knew where it was to be found, I was sent along with others.
-It was dusk before we reached the spot, which now presented a confused
-but interesting scene. The cavalry and artillery horses, which had been
-all day without water, were now there, and had gone into it with their
-feet, where they were greedily drinking. This had stirred up the mud,
-and made the water a perfect puddle; near the edge it was as thick as
-paste. We had therefore to wade in among the horses to where it was
-deeper; so that here were men and horses, standing promiscuously, knee
-deep in the water, trying as it were which could drink fastest. By the
-time I got my canteens filled, it was pretty dark; and, owing to the
-confusion, as I could not see, I had great difficulty in finding the
-regiment.
-
-I now lay down on the ground to take some rest. I reflected seriously on
-the events of the past day, and thanked God for having heard my prayers,
-and for having spared and protected me. I remembered the promises I had
-made, and my conscience accused me of having broken them almost as soon
-as made. Even during the time of the action, when many were falling
-around me, and my danger was greatest, I had made use of improper
-expressions: expressions which I was not guilty of using at other times,
-and which, on such an occasion, above all others, I ought to have
-avoided. This threw me into dejection of spirits, and into a train of
-very serious reflections for several days; reflections which were
-deepened by my being led to see more minutely the danger I had escaped.
-Having occasion to shift my clothes, I observed that the ball which had
-struck me on the side, had passed through my coat and cut my waistcoat
-between the second and third button from the bottom; it had then grazed
-my side, and had been obstructed in its passage outwards by a small
-volume of poems, containing Pope's Essay on Man, Blair's Grave, and
-Gray's Elegy, which I had in my side pocket. The corner of the binding
-next to my side was shattered, and the greater part of the leaves much
-bruised. I now discerned, that it had been the force with which the ball
-struck the book that had wheeled me round. I was impressed with the
-conviction, that if I had been standing square to my front, the ball
-would have lodged in my left side; and that even in the oblique position
-in which I stood, had it been one inch nearer the right, it would have
-lodged in the body and proved mortal. There were few of my comrades that
-had not their clothes cut in several places; and many had received
-contusions that would have proved mortal wounds, if the French had
-properly loaded their pieces. It was said that they did not use the
-ramrod in loading, which enabled them to fire with greater rapidity; but
-the charge being loose in their pieces, the shot did not fly so true to
-its direction, and was in many cases weak; making only a contusion, in
-place of perforating the body. This partly accounts for such a long
-continued and tremendously superior fire, not being so destructive as
-might have been apprehended. The regiment lost 125 killed and wounded;
-but our wonder was how so many had escaped.
-
-The loss sustained by the army, was 156 killed, 1082 wounded; and of
-seamen and marines there were 29 killed and 55 wounded, making a total
-of 1322. Four pieces of cannon and some ammunition were taken from the
-enemy.
-
-A great part of the grape-shot and cannon balls, that were fired by the
-French, were made of a composition of brass. They had taken the
-copper-sheeting and bells of a number of the ships in the harbour, and
-the unserviceable brass guns in their possession, and had melted them
-into balls, to prevent their ammunition from being exhausted; because
-the blockade of Egypt by our ships of war, prevented them from receiving
-regular supplies from France. But the grape-shot of this description
-that lodged in the bodies of the wounded, had the tendency of making the
-wounds foul.
-
-I continued to ponder over what had taken place; and my mind became
-increasingly uneasy. Conviction of sin, and a sense of ingratitude to
-God for his mercies, drove me almost to despair. I had my Bible with me,
-but made no use of it: our duty and fatigues left almost no leisure to
-do so, even had I been so inclined; and the dangerous nature of our
-present situation agitated the mind, and prevented the composure needful
-for the investigation of truth. One who previously knew the spiritual
-import of the Scriptures, might have made some profitable use of a
-Bible; but our circumstances were quite unfavourable for one like me. I
-was left to ruminate upon what occurred to my memory. I recollected what
-Manoah's wife said to her husband, when he was afraid that he should die
-because he had seen God. "If the Lord were pleased to kill us, he would
-not have received a burnt-offering and a meat-offering at our hands;"
-(Judges xiii. 23.) and was led to conclude, that I ought not to give
-myself over to despair, seeing God had yet spared my life. I had also a
-general recollection of the following passage of Young's Night Thoughts:
-
- ---- Time destroyed
- Is Suicide, where more than blood is spilt.
- Time flies, death urges, knells call, heav'n invites,
- Hell threatens; all exerts: in effort, all;
- More than creation labours!--Labours more?
- And is there in creation, what, amidst
- This tumult universal, wing'd despatch,
- And ardent energy, supinely yawns?--
- _Man_ sleeps; and _Man_ alone; and _Man_ whose fate,
- Fate irreversible, entire, extreme,
- Endless, hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf
- A moment trembles; drops! and _Man_ for whom
- All else is in alarm! _Man_, the sole cause
- Of this surrounding storm! and yet he sleeps,
- As the storm rock'd to rest,--Throw _Years_ away?
- Throw _Empires_, and be blameless. Moments seize,--
- Heaven's on their wing: a moment we may wish
- When worlds want wealth to buy. Bid _Day_ stand still,
- Bid him drive back his car, and re-import
- The period past; regive the given hour:
- Lorenzo, _more_ than miracles we want:
- Lorenzo--O for yesterdays to come!
-
- Such is the language of the man _awake_;
- His ardour such, for what _oppresses_ thee:
- And is his ardour vain, Lorenzo?--No;
- That _more_ than miracle the gods indulge;
- _To-day_ is _yesterday_ return'd; return'd
- Full-power'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn,
- And reinstate us on the Rock of peace.
- Let it not share its predecessor's fate;
- Nor, like its elder sisters, die a fool.
- Shall it evaporate in fume? fly off
- Fuliginous, and stain us deeper still?
- Shall we be poorer for the plenty pour'd?
- More wretched for the clemencies of heav'n?
-
- NIGHT SECOND.
-
-While I had a general recollection of this passage on my mind, there
-were a number of its particular expressions very frequently in my
-memory. When I thought on the past dangers I had come through, and
-looked at our present hazardous situation, the words
-
- ----"hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf
- A moment trembles,"----
-
-strongly impressed my mind with a sense of the critical nature of human
-life in general, and of such a situation as I was now in, in particular;
-and the words,
-
- ----"and yet he sleeps,
- As the storm rock'd to rest"----
-
-with the folly of being careless and unconcerned, in such a situation;
-and when I thought on the misimprovement of past time, the words,
-
- ----"O for yesterdays to come!"
-
-spoke the feelings of my heart:--but the words,
-
- "Today is yesterday return'd; return'd
- Full-power'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn,
- And reinstate us on the Rock of peace,"
-
-were often in my mind, and contributed, with the words of Manoah's wife,
-to give me a partial ease; they led me to form a new resolution, of
-setting out once more in attempting to lead a godly life, and keep the
-divine commandments. Having formed this resolution, I set about the
-performance of it with all due care, and my mind enjoyed a temporary
-peace. I was frequent in prayer, as I hoped that by this means I should
-prevent my mind from wandering. I had taken my present resolution so
-strongly, that I thought if I did not keep it this time, I could never
-hope to keep any resolution afterwards.
-
-We now got our tents on shore, and were busily employed in landing the
-heavy artillery, and in raising breast-works and redoubts. The fatigues
-of the army were very great; and as nearly the one half were now
-affected with the night blindness, they were ordered to take their turn
-of night duties. A blind and a seeing man were put to work together, to
-carry two-handed baskets filled with earth to raise the breast-works,
-the seeing one leading the blind; and as the sentries on the out-posts
-were double, a blind and a seeing man were also put together: the blind
-man was company to the other; for, although he could not see, he could
-hear; and more depended upon that than upon seeing for the best sight
-could not see an object at night at any distance. When upon sentry at
-night, I discovered that when I looked a good while to the ground, I
-could discern upon _it_ the shadows of persons that were approaching me;
-but if I lifted up my head I could not see the persons themselves,
-though they came close to my face. I continued, when out at night, to
-look constantly to the ground, and my sight gradually got better, and
-was quite recovered by the night of the 20d.
-
-During the march of the army from Aboukir, I had seen great quantities
-of ruins; and while employed in working among them, and in building
-breast-works and redoubts with the stones of ancient palaces, and the
-earth that formed the banks of their far-famed canals, I could not but
-reflect on the ancient glory of Egypt, of which there were so many
-evidences, even in the barren peninsula of Aboukir. I saw in these ruins
-the fulfilments of Jehovah's threatenings, and an evidence of the truth
-of the Scriptures;--and from the description given of "populous No,"
-(Nahum. iii. 8, 9, 10. Ezekiel xxx. 14, 15, 16, which I had frequently
-read during the passage up the Mediterranean,) I conceived that
-somewhere in this vicinity, such a city must have stood. These
-reflections gave an unusual degree of interest to our operations. We
-were now upon Scripture ground: we had come from a distant island of the
-sea, to the land of the proud Pharaohs, to carry on our military
-operations where Nebuchadnezzar, and Alexander the Great, had carried on
-theirs. The event was singular and striking: and our situation novel and
-interesting. Our camp stretched from the sea to the lake; and on the
-lake were numerous boats, bringing provisions, ammunition, and military
-stores from the fleet; while parties of seamen and soldiers were
-carrying or dragging through the deep sand, the various articles from
-the landing place, distant about two miles from the position of the
-army. And within four miles of our front, were the heights of
-Alexandria, upon which the enemy's troops were posted, with the various
-forts which they had constructed for their defence. On the right of
-their position stood the beautiful and majestic column, known by the
-name of "Pompey's Pillar;" and towards their left stood the stately
-obelisk called "Cleopatra's Needle."[11] The old walls of Alexandria
-were behind them, over which the masts of near 200 sail of ships were
-visible, which had conveyed the army of Bonaparte from France, and had
-been blockaded by the English since that time. And in the more distant
-view to the sea, was the Isle of Pharos, at the entrance of the harbour,
-on which once stood a light-house, mentioned by Rollin in his Ancient
-History as one of the seven wonders of the world, but which was now
-strongly fortified by the French, for the protection of the harbour,
-before which a squadron of our fleet was kept constantly cruising.
-
-The Arabs began to bring us sheep and young onions for sale. The men of
-the tent I was in, bought a sheep for a Spanish dollar, from an Arab,
-whose only covering was a plaid thrown round his naked body, resembling
-those worn by Highland shepherds. But our greatest difficulty was to
-find wood to cook it with. The bark of the date tree was the only part
-of it that would burn: its withered leaves, with the roots of a creeping
-kind of brier, which we pulled out of the sandy soil, and with
-difficulty got to burn, were the only fuel we could find. For a few days
-we had far to travel for water; but every regiment dug wells in the flat
-ground, on the left of the position, where a sufficient supply, although
-somewhat brackish, was obtained.
-
-My mind continued pretty easy for three or four days; but I found that I
-was not fulfilling the task that I had undertaken; that I was failing in
-the performance of duty, and was not keeping God and eternity in view,
-in the manner I had resolved to do. This began to make me again uneasy;
-and, as my hopes rested on my own performances, when I found that these
-performances were not what I had promised and resolved they should be,
-these hopes were shaken. I had not, indeed, been guilty of any open and
-notorious sins; but I had not done that which I had resolved to do, and
-on the doing of which I had hoped for the forgiveness of past sins, the
-favour of God, and eternal life; and this threw me back where I was
-before.
-
-The regiment received orders on the 20d, to march early next morning to
-Aboukir, to do the hospital duty, because we were too weak to do the
-duty of a regiment in the line. We were accordingly under arms and
-marched off an hour before daylight, and left our tents standing for a
-regiment that was to come from the second line to occupy our place. But
-we had not proceeded above a mile and a half, when we heard a discharge
-of several muskets on the left; which caused us to halt and look to the
-place where the firing had been. In a few seconds we saw a number more
-muskets fired, (for the darkness made the flash of even the pan of every
-musket distinctly visible,) and after that a field-piece, and then a
-general discharge of about 300 muskets; when it ceased. We knew that
-there was a guard of about 300 men, and a field-piece, with a working
-party of as many more, on the spot; and as the firing had ceased, we
-thought it might be a false attack to disturb the working party and
-alarm the army.--After standing a little, and all continuing quiet, we
-began with hesitation to proceed on our journey: but we had not moved
-many steps, when we heard the discharge of a musket on the right of the
-army: this produced a voluntary halt; and in a few seconds we heard the
-discharge of two or three more. We were then ordered to return, and had
-not proceeded far, before a number more discharges were heard in the
-same direction. This quickened our march, and we made all expedition
-towards the tent of the commander-in-chief, which was in the rear of the
-right of the army. Before we got there the firing on the right was
-beginning to be pretty thick. We were now ordered to resume the position
-we had left. It was yet dark; but the firing of musketry began to be
-heavy, and the artillery commenced playing, with the help of lighted
-lanterns to let them see to load. By the time we got to our position,
-the action was close and warm on the right, and the firing of musketry
-and artillery very heavy, which the darkness of the morning made
-peculiarly awful. There was now no doubt of a powerful and determined
-attack from the enemy. When we arrived at our position in the line, the
-day had begun faintly to dawn. The regiment which was to have taken our
-place, had not done it; a column of the enemy having ascended the brow
-of the hill in our front, were making towards the opening in the line
-where we should have been. The regiment on the right was extending its
-left, and the one on the left its right, and had filled up the one half
-of the space when we arrived. On our arrival a part of us filled up the
-opening, and began to fire on the enemy's column, which then retreated
-under the brow of the hill, out of our sight and below the range of
-shot. They left, however, a number of sharp-shooters on the edge of the
-hill, who kept up a straggling fire upon our line. The regiments on the
-right and left now closed their files, and we got all into line, and in
-good order; when the enemy's column, having adjusted itself under the
-brow of the hill, showed itself anew, and came forward to the attack. We
-again opened our fire upon them, which they returned; but after the
-second or third round, they again retreated as before, leaving a still
-greater number of sharp-shooters, who ranged themselves along the edge
-of the descent of the hill, which in part concealed them from us, but
-allowed them to have a fair view of our line, upon which they kept up a
-destructive fire. We returned a straggling fire upon them from the line,
-having no sharp-shooters in front to engage them.
-
-When on the way back to the army, previously to entering upon this
-action, the state of my mind was rather different from what it had been
-before. I prayed earnestly for protection: but having so often failed in
-the promises I had made, I was afraid to make any more. I began to be
-diffident of myself. I did not plead with God on the promise of future
-amendment, but prayed for mercy. I used indeed the name of Christ; but
-had no right understanding, either of the true nature of the atonement
-for the guilt of sin, by his blood, or of his righteousness to justify
-the ungodly. My confidence was not placed in them for acceptance with
-God; but should death be the issue, I cast myself, with trembling
-hesitation, on his general mercy, and that with more resignation than
-formerly. I confessed my past failures, and prayed that if God was not
-pleased to preserve me unhurt, but if I was to be wounded, it might be
-in a merciful way; and that, if death was to be the issue, my sins might
-be pardoned. This was my prayer on entering the action, and as we had
-intervals of firing, I repeated it. But great as my fear of death was, I
-never thought of attempting to avoid it, by flinching from my duty as a
-soldier in such times of danger. I looked upon such conduct as sinful,
-and dared not seek present safety by an increase of guilt. I was also
-convinced, that cowardice was attended with the greatest danger, and
-that our greatest safety lay in every one doing his duty with steady
-courage. I had fired about twelve rounds, when the sun was beginning to
-appear in the horizon, and was in the act of ramming another cartridge,
-when a shot from one of the sharp-shooters, struck upon the inner ancle
-bone of my left foot; it turned round the back of the leg, passing
-between the sinew of the heel and the leg bone, and lodged just under
-the skin, a little above the bone of the outer ancle. It was there that
-I felt the pain. I was stunned with the stroke; but from the part in
-which I felt the pain, I did not think it was a ball, but that a large
-shot or shell, having struck some of the stones that were lying in the
-rear, a splinter from them had hit me in the back of the leg: I loaded
-my piece, and then, on lifting up my leg to see what was the matter, saw
-a musket-shot hole in the half-gaiter, and some appearance of blood. I
-shouldered my piece, but the sharp-shooters directly in front of me had
-disappeared. I stood a few seconds unresolved what to do; but feeling
-the pain increase, and seeing the blood beginning to appear more on the
-gaiter, and the officer commanding the company having come to the rear,
-and observing that I was wounded, he called to me to fall out, and I was
-induced to leave the ranks, but felt very reluctant to quit my comrades
-before the battle was decided: not that I loved to stay in a place of
-danger; but I did not like to leave them in the time of it; and had
-there been firing at the time, I should have continued to fire while I
-was able. As matters stood, however, I conceived it to be my duty,
-seeing I was disabled from keeping my place in the ranks, to make the
-best of my way, as long as I was able, to a place where I might be out
-of the reach of shot, and get my wound dressed, that it might not
-receive injury by delay. I got as quickly as I could to the rear,
-keeping my arms, accoutrements, and knapsack which I had on when
-wounded. The battle at this time was raging upon the right with terrible
-fury; and the brigade of guards immediately on the right of ours, were
-closely engaged. The roar of the artillery was dreadful. Daylight had
-now made both parties visible to each other; but the smoke of the firing
-obscured the distant view; so that, although the scene of contest was
-but a short way off from me, I could neither see our own line nor that
-of the enemy, all being covered with a thick cloud, through which
-nothing was visible, but the dark red glare of the flashes of the
-artillery. As I began to descend the height in the rear of the army, I
-was in imminent danger. The position of the brigade of guards, (which
-was on the right of ours,) and of the right of our own brigade, receded
-considerably from the spot on which our regiment stood, owing to the
-direction of the rising ground on which we were posted. In consequence
-of this, and of the positions of the enemy's columns and artillery, a
-large proportion of his shot, that had been fired at too high an
-elevation, fell in the rear of our regiment's tents. As I did not at the
-time observe this circumstance, I took the direct road from our own
-rear, to the landing place on Lake Maadie, distant about two miles. I
-was led by this route to cross the range of the falling shot. The musket
-and grape shot was coming down in showers, and further on, the large
-shot was striking and rebounding off the ground in rapid succession. I
-used all possible exertion to get through this danger; and, by the
-goodness of God, received no further hurt; while others, who, like
-myself, were wounded and retiring to the rear, did not escape. The
-exertion I had made, with the blood I was losing, which marked my steps
-in the sand, began to exhaust me; but I had the happiness of having my
-canteen full of water at the commencement of my retreat, which refreshed
-me. My arms, at length, however, becoming too heavy for me, I left my
-firelock in an erect posture, by running the bayonet into the ground,
-after taking the powder out of the pan, to prevent accidents to those
-that might find it.
-
-When I had got near to the landing place, I found several surgeons, on
-the outside of an hospital tent that had been lately pitched for the
-sick, busily engaged in dressing some of the wounded that had arrived
-before me. I sat down to wait my turn to be dressed, which was not long,
-for the number before me was not great. When I took the gaiter off my
-leg, I pulled a piece of it out of the wound, and as the ball appeared
-prominent under the skin, it was easily extracted, and another piece of
-the gaiter was taken out, which was wrapped round it. The ball was
-flattened, and a part of it turned over by the resistance of the ancle
-bone; yet the bone was not broken. After I was dressed, I lay down at
-the side of a bush, until I might learn what was to be done with the
-wounded. By this time the firing of musketry had ceased on the field of
-battle; a cannonade alone was heard; and we were all anxiety respecting
-the success of the day, for if the army was compelled to retreat, the
-situation of the wounded would be distressing and dangerous. Great
-numbers of wounded were now arriving to be dressed, who brought
-different reports, some of them saying, they did not think that the army
-would be able to keep its ground. This made us look with anxiety to the
-heights, to observe if any retrograde motion was made; but the cannonade
-ceased; and we were informed that the enemy had been completely
-repulsed, and had retreated back to Alexandria. The action terminated
-about ten o'clock, A. M.
-
-This action, though short, was severe and bloody, and was sustained on
-our part chiefly by the right wing of the army, the left having been
-only partially engaged. The object of the enemy was to dislodge the
-troops on the right, from the rising ground on which they were posted,
-and then to drive the army into Lake Maadie. He expected to possess
-himself of the rising ground before day-break; and being perfectly
-acquainted with the place, and with the way in which we were posted, he
-was at no loss to make his attack in the dark: but as it was our
-practice to stand under arms from three o'clock in the morning till an
-hour after day-break, we were not taken by surprise. The enemy's force
-consisted of nine thousand seven hundred men, of which fifteen hundred
-were cavalry; with forty-six pieces of cannon. Our army, by its losses
-in the former actions, by parties absent at Aboukir on duty, and by
-sickness, had been reduced to somewhat less than ten thousand, including
-four hundred cavalry; with thirty-six pieces of cannon. When the enemy
-retreated, he left seventeen hundred men dead and wounded on the field,
-of whom a thousand and forty were buried the first two days: he lost
-also four hundred horses. How many wounded retired, or had been removed,
-could not be known; but military judges calculate the whole at about
-four thousand men, which was more than a third of their whole number. We
-had two hundred and forty-three killed, one thousand one hundred and
-ninety-three wounded, and thirty-two missing, and four seamen killed,
-and twenty wounded, making a total of 1493.--Our worthy
-commander-in-chief, Sir Ralph Abercrombie, died on the 28th, of a wound
-he received in the thigh, and was deeply regretted by the whole army.
-General Moore also was again wounded, but recovered in a short time and
-returned to his duty. The loss of our regiment was forty men.
-
-Having lain at the bush until about two o'clock, I then observed a
-number of the wounded going on board of boats to be taken to the fleet.
-I got up and went to the landing place, and having got on board one of
-them, arrived at the fleet in the evening; where I was put on board a
-two-decked ship, appropriated for the reception of the wounded, and got
-into a berth with two more of the same regiment. Upwards of two hundred
-wounded men were collected on board of this ship; and the wounds of many
-of them being severe, numbers died during the first ten days. If any one
-wishes to know what were the topics of conversation among so many men in
-such circumstances, it pains me to state, that our conversation was
-about any thing but that one thing which most concerned us, and which
-ought to have engrossed our whole attention. About that world to which
-so many of us were daily departing, and about that God before whom so
-many were so soon to make their appearance, there was not a word to be
-heard, except it was in taking his name in vain. The groans of the dying
-were to be heard in various quarters of the ship, but no one either
-asking or telling how a sinner could be saved. Nor was I better than
-others. I did not improve my mercies. I had been wounded in a
-comparatively merciful manner, but I forgot the God to whom I had made
-my supplication, and neglected my Bible. I conversed with one of my
-comrades, who was a Scottish Episcopalian, upon church government, and
-he took some pains to inform me of the claims of Episcopacy, of which I
-was ignorant. But what did such topics avail to dying men, whose
-conversation ought to have been about the salvation of their souls? He
-was badly wounded in the thigh, and did not live many weeks. The part of
-my wound where the ball entered healed in about sixteen days; but the
-part where it was extracted became inflamed, and the foot and ancle
-swelled considerably. I was suspicious that the dirty water with which
-it was sometimes washed was the occasion of the inflammation. An
-erroneous opinion was entertained, that salt water would smart the
-wounds: and as fresh water was not in plenty on board the ship, only a
-small quantity of it was allowed for washing them. A great number were
-washed with one basin-full, and, as many of the wounds were foul, this
-was calculated to infect those that were clean. Had salt water been
-used, a basin of clean water might have been taken to every one. I was
-washed with salt water when in the hospital at Aboukir, and felt no
-difference between it and fresh. By the end of three weeks my wound
-began to mortify. I was then put into a boat to be taken to the hospital
-at Aboukir, along with a number more whose cases were considered bad.
-Two were so weak that they were unable to sit, and were laid upon
-gratings in the bottom of the boat: one of them died before we reached
-the shore, and the other died upon the beach. These cases made little
-impression upon my mind; death was becoming familiar to me, and I looked
-at it with a careless indifference. When the boat reached the shore I
-was carried to the Hutts hospital; which was a building upon a height,
-erected by the French to serve as barracks to their troops stationed at
-Aboukir.
-
-It was formed of the trunks of date trees split down the middle; the
-ends were sunk into the ground; the flat side of one tree was turned
-outwards, and the flat side of the next inwards, and so alternately, the
-round edges being made to overlap each other, and the crevices filled
-with plaster lime. It was roofed in the same manner. A great many bats
-had formed their nests in the holes, where the roof rested upon the
-upright posts.--Here I was well taken care of; so that by the mercy of
-God, the inflammation subsided, and in sixteen days the putrid flesh was
-wholly cleaned away, leaving a pretty large orifice. A part of the
-tendon of the heel seemed to have been eaten away by the inflammation,
-but the damage did not appear to be very serious, and it began to heal
-rapidly.
-
-While in this place, a small scorpion had got into my haversack, and as
-I put my hand into it to get some bread it stung me in the point of my
-thumb. This sensation resembled that which is produced by the sting of a
-bee, but the pain was more violent, and lasted for twenty-four hours
-before it subsided, but was attended by no other bad consequence.
-
-The regiment to which I belonged, being at this time encamped at
-Aboukir, made an offer to accommodate their own wounded men, as the
-general hospital was crowded. This offer was accepted, and those that
-were in a condition to be moved were sent to the regimental hospital. I
-remained a day or two there; but, being healthy, and my wound likely to
-heal soon, I was removed to the convalescent tents, which, on account of
-some cases of fever in the regimental hospital, were at some distance.
-There I was left to dress my wound myself, which continued to mend, but
-not so rapidly as before. That dreadful calamity, the plague, made its
-first appearance at the Hutts hospital about the time that I left it;
-and, a few days afterwards, a corporal went with a party and buried a
-surgeon and two women in one hole, and seven others in another, that had
-already fallen victims to it.
-
-The strength that the enemy brought to the field on the 21st March,
-showed that they were far more numerous in Egypt than we had been led to
-believe. The greatest number that had been calculated to be there was
-15,000; but they had 27,000. As soon as the action of the 21st was over,
-the army made trenches along the whole position, and completed and
-increased the batteries and redoubts with all possible haste. The left
-was the weakest part of the position. The bed of Lake Mareotis was in
-front of it, but it was nearly dry, and passable in many parts both for
-horse and foot. Lake Maadie[12] was in the rear of the left, being only
-separated from the bed of Lake Mareotis by the banks of the canal[13] of
-Alexandria; and its waters were considerably above the level of Lake
-Mareotis and the surrounding country. On the 13th April a large opening
-was made in the banks of the canal; the water rushed into Lake Mareotis
-with a fall of six feet, and it continued to rush in for a month, when
-it nearly found its level; but there continued always a fall of about a
-foot, owing to the sand absorbing the water. By this measure a large
-extent of country was inundated; the front of the position was
-contracted, and the left protected from assault; and Lord Hutchison, who
-had succeeded Sir Ralph Abercrombie, was enabled to proceed with a part
-of the army to Rosetta, which had been previously taken by a detachment,
-assisted by 4,000 Turks; General Coote being left with the remainder to
-blockade Alexandria. The force assembling at Rosetta was destined to
-march against Grand Cairo. The Grand Vizier was advancing with an army
-from Syria to co-operate in the same object. Our regiment was ordered to
-join the troops at Rosetta. Most of the men belonging to it, who had
-been left on board ship sick of the fever, at the time we landed, had by
-this time recovered, so that it was now pretty strong. I continued in
-the convalescent tents about a fortnight. To enable me, when necessary,
-to go abroad, I procured a rough piece of wood, upon which I got the
-head of a tent mallet fastened, to serve for a crutch. By the help of
-this, and a stick in the other hand, I made a shift to go out of the
-tent; but, not being very expert at the use of the crutch, as I was
-going out one day, the tent cords catched the lower end of it, and I
-fell down, with the wounded leg undermost. This was to me a serious
-accident; for my wound immediately began to get worse, and in a few days
-it was greatly inflamed, and discharging black matter. I was then
-removed to the hospital tents, to be near the surgeon. Orders came for
-the regimental hospital to be moved to Rosetta, and such cases as were
-not fit to be moved were sent to the general hospital, which was now an
-extensive establishment; for the sick and wounded that were on board the
-fleet were sent on shore, and lodged in large sheds. Into one of these I
-was taken, along with another, who had been in the same convalescent
-tent with me. He had been slightly wounded: a musket ball having grazed
-the front of his leg; he was able to walk about with little
-inconvenience, and was desired by the surgeon not to confine himself
-close to the tent, but to take the air, and some little exercise. We
-were not, however, aware of the extreme danger of having the skin broken
-in Egypt, let the hurt be ever so slight. His wound had got much worse;
-it was not to appearance so serious as mine, yet, after he was a few
-days in the general hospital, it was found necessary to amputate his
-leg, an operation which he did not survive long; for the stump
-mortified, and he died after lingering about five weeks. His case
-alarmed me not a little; and as my wound continued for some time to get
-worse, the inflammation spreading, the lower part of the leg swelling
-greatly, and the pain being excessive, I was the more apprehensive, and
-prayed earnestly for mercy. God was pleased to hear my cry, and to spare
-me once more. The inflammation by and by subsided; the pain became
-moderate, my appetite, which was lost, returned; and the wound began to
-clean and heal.
-
-The weather was now very warm. The shed in which I was, was so
-constructed, as to combine the advantages of shade and air. The roof was
-formed of boards, (brought I suppose from Marmorice,) and was supported
-upon posts, made of the trunks of date trees, which were sunk into the
-ground at certain distances; boards were nailed to these posts, and
-about an inch left open betwixt each board, to the height of about four
-feet, and then there was an opening of about two feet to the edge of the
-roof. This shed was of great length, and was crossed by one or two
-similar ones. In them all there were three rows of beds, two rows with
-the ends of the beds to the sides of the shed, and one row set
-length-ways in the centre. Although these structures were so open in the
-sides we were sufficiently warm during the night. We were, however, much
-troubled with fleas, of which the sandy floor was full, so that it was
-impossible to get rid of them. Indeed the whole of the desert was full
-of these vermin. There were also some crickets of a very large size,
-which interrupted our sleep by the strong and constant sound of their
-music; not unmelodious in itself, had it not been unseasonable. The
-flies too gave us a vast deal of annoyance through the day. It was with
-difficulty that we could keep them out of our eyes; and they were most
-pernicious to those who had large putrid sores; for, as it was
-impossible to keep them out of the wound while it was dressing, this
-occasioned not only present trouble, but the breeding of maggots, which
-increased the torture of many who were sinking to the grave. Even those
-who were well, of all classes, found it needful to carry a small bunch
-of rushes tied upon a handle, to be used like a fan, to drive them away.
-
-On the 23d of May, the hot wind came on. The air was darkened with mist,
-which was so thick that it rendered breathing difficult. We were glad to
-cover ourselves over the head with our blankets: for although the heat
-was intense, and the blankets disagreeably warm and heavy, yet we found
-our breathing more tolerable under them than when uncovered. The orderly
-men, who had to go out of the shed for water, and on other necessary
-business, complained of the heat of the wind, saying that it blew the
-sand in their faces as hot as fire.[14] Towards evening the wind blew
-from the sea; the air became clear; and the night was about its usual
-coolness. But the consequences of this wind were dreadful to the
-hospital. The plague now raged with redoubled fury, and made fearful
-havoc among the nurses and orderly men, and those who had slight wounds.
-The three nurses who attended the division of the shed I was in, were
-infected one after the other, and were sent to the post hospital; where,
-as I afterwards heard, they died. One set of nurses and orderly men
-followed another in rapid succession for some weeks. It was observed,
-that none of those who had large sores were infected by it; but such
-sores after this period were more mortal, for mortifications now became
-rapid in their progress, and baffled the power of medicine to arrest
-them. Amputations were multiplied, but were mostly unavailing; and even
-sores comparatively slight, mortified and proved fatal. Some of the
-cases struck me forcibly.--A sailor who had a slight wound in one of his
-legs, and who could move about, and be serviceable to those that were
-bed-fast, went one night to the shore, which was not far off, to get
-some drink; his leg immediately got worse; in a few days the entire calf
-of it was one putrid ulcer, with numbers of maggots; poultices, spirits
-of wine, and other strong liquors, and tinctures were profusely used,
-but in vain--he died in about a week. Another, whose wound was cured,
-and who was ordered to join his regiment, absented himself on the night
-previous to the day appointed for his departure, and that of some
-others. In a day or two after the party was gone, he appeared in his
-place with a sore leg. It was believed that he had purposely scratched
-his shin with a stone; but whatever way he had taken to make it sore,
-the surgeon, who had not noticed his conduct, saw that it required
-dressing, which was done without any particular inquiry; and as none
-that knew his conduct liked spontaneously to inform upon him, he was not
-called in question. It was manifest, however, that cowardice was the
-cause of his injuring his leg, that he might remain in the hospital
-until danger was over. But the very means he took to avoid danger, to
-which he might never have, been exposed, proved his destruction. In
-three or four days his leg became so much inflamed, that amputation was
-rendered necessary. This was performed above the knee, but the
-inflammation had reached the thigh. As he lay nearly opposite to me, I
-saw the face of the stump when it was dressed. The skin never united; at
-the second or third dressing the flesh of the thigh was detached from
-the bone; so much so, that there was a large cavity underneath the bone,
-which made it visible almost to the joint. He died before next day,
-being about ten or twelve days from the time, he appeared with his leg
-sore. At my left hand lay a young man, a sailor belonging to the
-Northumberland 74, with a large ulcer in the under side of his right
-arm, a little below the arm pit. I formed an attachment to this young
-man; took a note of his own and his mother's name, and place of
-residence, and of the time when his wages became due; and promised, if I
-got safe to England, to inform them of these particulars, and of the
-time and circumstances of his death, for he was sensible that death was
-near. But there is one thing that gives me no small pain, when I reflect
-upon it, to this day; that, although I saw he was dying, I was not able,
-with all the religion I thought I had, to point my dying comrade to the
-Saviour. Not having found a Saviour to my own soul, whatever I might say
-about religion or religious subjects, a Saviour, properly so called, was
-no part of my system. I who never beheld Jesus, as the Lamb of God which
-taketh away the sin of the world, could not point him out, in that
-soul-reviving character, to others; neither did there appear to be in
-this house of death, any one that could point his dying comrades to a
-Saviour, nor any among the dying throng, that were asking after a
-Saviour. Whatever emotions might be passing through the minds of any,
-the question as to what became of the soul after death, the hope of
-heaven, or the fear of hell, the way to attain the one and escape the
-other, never became a subject of conversation; and yet if ever
-circumstances, (short of those of criminals condemned to die, without
-any hope of mercy, upon a particular day,) could have forced such
-conversation upon a company of sinful mortals, it must have been the
-circumstances we were in. But every one seemed to indulge the hope of
-life, until the cold hand of death was already on his heart, and left
-him little time to think of that world to which he was going, and less
-ability to communicate his thoughts to others, or to ask, or to receive
-information. And this was the case, not in this hospital only, but in
-all the hospitals I was in, both before and afterwards. I did indeed say
-a few words to my dying comrade, about praying for mercy to his soul,
-and made use of the name of Jesus in a formal way; and he continued for
-several days before his death, to pray very earnestly to God for mercy,
-and made use of that name: but whether he understood the character of
-Jesus as a Saviour, and was led to place his dependence upon his merits,
-is more than I can tell. It may be, that the Spirit of Christ, in his
-sovereign grace, gave him a saving knowledge of that name that was used
-at first in ignorance, and led him to trust in him for salvation; but if
-this was the case, it was known only to himself; he was unable to make
-it known to others; and, although he had been able to tell me if I
-asked, I was unable to discern it; for he that has not been enlightened
-by the Spirit of Christ himself, and brought out of darkness into
-marvellous light, is ill qualified to discern when that change takes
-place upon others.[15]
-
-Footnote 7:
-
- I quote these words from Sir R. Wilson's history, which contains a
- degree of knowledge that I could not pretend to. The statements which
- I give of the strength of the enemy, the number of cannon they had on
- the field on the different days, and what we took from them, I also
- state upon his authority. The account of the losses of the army I take
- from the statements in the gazettes, which I believe to be pretty
- correct, for I have found that they gave a true account of the loss of
- my own regiment, and I have heard soldiers of other regiments say the
- same of the gazette accounts of the loss of theirs.
-
-Footnote 8:
-
- The boats had gradually verged to the left during their progress, so
- that this height, which before appeared to be opposite their centre,
- was now opposite their right.
-
-Footnote 9:
-
- It was afterwards said that it was the dromedary corps.
-
-Footnote 10:
-
- He was taken on board one of the ships in the fleet, and had one of
- his legs amputated, but he died in a few days, and was buried on
- shore, at Aboukir.
-
-Footnote 11:
-
- For the information of such readers as have not access to large works,
- I will take the liberty of inserting an account of the dimensions of
- these celebrated and ancient monuments, from Sir R. Wilson's history.
-
- "Pompey's Pillar is of the Corinthian order, and eighty-eight feet six
- inches in height; the shaft formed of a single block of granite,
- retaining the finest polish, except where the wind on the north-east
- front has chafed the surface a little; it is sixty-four feet in
- height, and eight feet four inches in diameter.
-
- "About thirty yards in the rear of the French intrenchments, stands
- Cleopatra's Needle, and one of equal magnitude is lying close by,
- horizontally. The form of these obelisks is of considerable elegance,
- and their magnitude is enormous, considering that each is only one
- piece of granite; their height is sixty-eight feet three inches, and
- their base seven feet seven inches by seven feet square; their sides
- are covered with hieroglyphics, which, on the eastern front of the one
- that is upright, are much effaced by the wind.
-
- "Tradition affirms that they ornamented the gate of Cleopatra's
- palace. From the quantity of marble, &c. &c. found near the spot,
- probably the residence of the sovereigns of Egypt was placed
- there."--_History of the Expedition_, 2d vol. pp. 156, 158, 159.
-
- Dr. E. D. Clark, the traveller, who has paid great attention to the
- study of the age and design of ancient monuments, thinks that the
- _shaft_ of Pompey's Pillar "is of much earlier antiquity than either
- the _capital_ or the _pedestal_." He gives probable reasons to believe
- that the _shaft_ was made in the time of _Alexander the Great_, the
- founder of _Alexandria_, and who was buried there, to be a sepulchral
- pillar to the memory of that monarch; but that _Julius Caesar_ had set
- it upon a _pedestal_, and had put a _capital_ upon it in honour of
- Pompey, whose head he caused to be burnt with funeral honours, and the
- ashes put into an _urn_, and placed on the top of the _pillar_: but
- that the _pillar_ had likely fallen afterwards, and had been restored
- by the emperor _Hadrian_.--_Clarke's Travels, 4th Edit._ 8vo. vol. v.
- ch. vii. p. 361, &c.
-
-Footnote 12:
-
- Or Sed; "sometimes called the Lake of Aboukir. The passage into it at
- Aboukir, is about two hundred yards wide, and was made about the year
- 1782, by the sea breaking down the dyke, which had been built ages
- back, to recover from the ocean that part of the country which now is
- Lake Maadie." _History of the Expedition to Egypt_, p. 27.
-
-Footnote 13:
-
- This canal commences at Rhamanieh, on the banks of the Nile, and
- passes over fifteen or sixteen leagues of country. The bed of it is
- above the level of Egypt; the banks are formed of earth raised wholly
- above the surface. There is no water in it, but at the time of the
- inundation of the Nile. The beds of the canals in Egypt are all above
- the level of the country, that, when cut, the water may run out of
- them. They are properly canals of irrigation.
-
-Footnote 14:
-
- This wind was still more dreadful in the interior of the country; and
- at the place where the army was on its march to Cairo; as appears by
- the following extract from Sir R. Wilson's History of the Expedition
- to Egypt, vol. 1. p. 177.
-
- _ALGUM, 23d May._
-
- "This day will ever be remarkable to the Egyptian army; a sirocco wind
- darkened with a burning mist the atmosphere; the thermometer was at
- 120 in the shade; the ground was heated like the floor of a furnace;
- every thing that was metallic, such as arms, buttons; knives, &c.
- became burning hot; the poultry, exposed to the air, and several
- horses and camels died; respiration was difficult, and the lungs were
- parched with fiery particles. Had the heat continued forty-eight
- hours, the effect would have been dreadful: but happily as night drew
- on, the wind cooled, and at last changed to the north west.
-
- "At Balbeis, the thermometer was at 130; on the western side of the
- Nile 120; at Alexandria 105."
-
- _Extract from a Journal written by one of my comrades._
-
- "We had one day's hot wind from the south; it began to blow about 9
- o'clock; and wo be to him that is far from shelter, as neither man nor
- beast can survive it three days! It came from the desert as hot as the
- opening of an oven door, bringing small sand like mist along with it.
- All the sentinels were called in, and the cattle crept close to the
- ground and groaned for fear. The buffaloes took to the river, covering
- themselves, all but the nose, in the water; and no man was able to
- stir out of his tent until the evening."
-
-Footnote 15:
-
- The promise that I made of informing his relatives of the time and
- circumstances of his death, I fulfilled when I came to Ireland, for
- which I received a letter of thanks from his brother.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-Preparations having been made for erecting a general hospital in the
-town of Rosetta, all that were capable of being removed from Aboukir
-were sent there. I left Aboukir, and was taken on board of a Germ on the
-23d June; which sailed in the afternoon; and at day-break next morning,
-we were near the entrance of the Rosetta branch of the Nile. The surf on
-the bar, at the mouth of the river, was high; but the Arabs, who
-navigated the vessel, risked the passage. The hazard on such occasions
-is considerable, owing to the surf, and the shallowness of the water on
-the bar: for the vessel is in danger of striking on the bottom between
-the surges; and, when this takes place, the next wave that comes is apt
-either to break over her and fill her with water, or to overset
-her.--When we came opposite that part of the bar, which the Arabs
-thought deepest, they pointed the bow of the vessel to it, and clued up
-the sails that she might have little pitch, and might float as level as
-possible; they then got out hand poles; and, as soon as she began to
-lose head-way, they set the poles to the bottom, and pushed her forward
-with all their power, making a great noise, until we got over the bar
-into smooth water. There were several masts of vessels visible near
-where we passed, that had recently been swamped in this dangerous
-passage. Many British seamen lost their lives here, for they were
-ignorant of its real danger, and would hardly be convinced of it,
-because it had not at a distance a very dangerous appearance. It was not
-until they had actually got upon the bar, that the extent and nature of
-the danger were perceivable; and then, to attempt to return against the
-wind and surge is vain; they must push through or perish. At the first I
-wondered why the Arabs were making so much noise; but when we came upon
-the bar my surprise ceased. I had never seen any thing like it; yet the
-wind was not stormy, and if such was the state of this place with a
-moderate wind, how terrible must it be in a storm.--As soon as we were
-in smooth water, the large sails were again spread out to the wind, we
-passed rapidly up the Nile, and in a short time were at Rosetta.
-
-I was soon taken into a large square building, having a square court in
-the centre, and piazzas round about from the bottom to the top; the
-ground flat, which was high in the roof, was occupied as cellars,
-store-houses, &c. There were two flats above, the various apartments of
-which communicated with piazza'd passages, round the centre square. This
-building, from the largeness of its size, and the number of its
-apartments, accommodated a great many patients, consisting of men of all
-the different regiments, promiscuously lodged together.
-
-In coming into a place of this kind, among so many strange faces, and
-various and opposite characters, it is a matter of some consequence to
-meet with some one previously known, to whom you can talk, in whom you
-can place confidence, and who will act the part of a comrade. In this
-respect I was fortunate; falling in with a man of my own company, whose
-bed was next to mine: a young man of agreeable dispositions. He was the
-rear rank man of the second file from my right, in the battle of the
-13th March, who got the calf of his leg grazed by the cannon ball, as
-formerly related. His leg was now in a hopeful way; and being able to
-move about with the help of a stick, he was serviceable to me who was
-confined to bed. In this building we were more cool than on the sands of
-Aboukir; the flies were not so excessively troublesome through the day;
-and as the floor, which was upon arches, was paved with flat stones, or
-large bricks, the fleas were not so numerous. But a new enemy attacked
-us during the night, which we had not met with before--the mosquitoes.
-They were very troublesome; and there was no way of securing ourselves
-from their bite, which was very sharp, and for a while had an
-inflammatory effect; so much so, that every one for some time after his
-arrival, resembled a person in the height of the measles. Our
-accommodation and attendance were much better here in many respects. We
-were provided with sheets for our beds, which was very agreeable; for a
-sheet was as much as one could bear for a covering during the night; nor
-was even that needed so much for heat, as to be a partial defence
-against the musquitoes. Our woollen blankets, which would have been
-quite uncomfortable from their heat, were very useful now to put under
-us; for our beds being made of branches of the date tree, put across
-each other, with a slender matt, made of a particular kind of rushes,
-laid over them to cover the holes, the cross spars soon became
-prominent, and were very uneasy to lie upon. My knapsack was my pillow,
-and my blanket, folded _four-ply_, I put under me. Without it indeed, it
-would not have been possible to lie in the beds; and even with it, they
-were very uncomfortable, especially for those who were long and close
-confined to them.
-
-I had not been in Rosetta above a fortnight, when my wound again
-inflamed and mortified in a most alarming degree; the leg swelled
-excessively, and the wound became large and jet black, with a most
-offensive smell. I was very much alarmed; I beheld many dying, whose
-wounds were in a similar state, and some of them apparently not so bad;
-the severity of pain deprived me of appetite: nor could I so much as
-drink the wine that was allowed me. The pain continued to increase; the
-discharge from the wound was great; I was reduced to a skeleton, and my
-strength was failing fast; I was at the gates of death; and, with
-eternity before me, I was destitute of that discernment of the merits
-and grace of the Great Redeemer, which alone can form a sure ground of
-confidence, and a true source of consolation to a poor sinner, ready to
-perish. I again reflected on my past life, and accused myself of want of
-firmness in my resolutions. I thought God had now afflicted me in order
-to make me hate sin, and love righteousness; and that were I again
-restored to health, and free from pain, nothing in this world would be
-able to make me leave my duty: and I flattered myself that what I had
-now suffered had destroyed the love of sin in my heart. Under this
-persuasion, being in agony through the severity of pain, I exclaimed,
-"Lord, let it suffice thee, for it is enough; take but thine hand from
-me this once!" Although this was not a prayer becoming a sinner ready to
-perish, which ought to have been a supplication for mercy for the sake
-of Christ; yet God was pleased in his compassion to grant me the thing I
-sought. He did remove his hand, and spare my life; the mortification,
-after having raged about three weeks, subsided; the putrid flesh began
-to fall away; the burning pain left the wound; and in about ten days it
-was clean; but the mortification had detached, and wholly destroyed, the
-greater part of the tendon of the heel. I now looked upon myself as one
-that had been rescued from the grave, and the occurrences that took
-place immediately, tended still more strongly to impress this upon my
-mind. The wound of my comrade, who had been serviceable to me when I was
-so ill, as I began to mend, grew worse, inflamed, and in a few days,
-nearly the whole of the calf of his leg was one putrid mass. A
-blood-vessel burst in it during the night; but he was in such pain, that
-he was not sensible of the bleeding, which continued until day break;
-when the floor under and around his bed was covered with blood. The
-surgeon was sent for, to whom he said, "I believe Sir, I have been
-bleeding to death in the night time, and was not sensible of it." The
-bleeding had now ceased, but he was so weak that he was unable to speak;
-and he died in a few hours, and was carried out and buried. The
-Saviour's words, "One shall be taken and the other left," struck me
-forcibly in these circumstances: when my comrade, who was so shortly
-before in a fairer way of recovery than I was, was thus cut off, and I
-was left as a monument of God's sparing mercy.
-
-His bed was not long empty. In a few days an Irish grenadier was brought
-to it, whose case was truly hopeless. He had had a boil on the lower
-part of the breast, which had mortified; the mortification had spread
-over the breast, and had eaten a hole larger than a dollar into the
-chest, so that when the dressing was off, the inside of the chest was
-visible. He lived in great agony for about six days, and died; by which
-time the hole into the chest was much larger.--In a few days after, the
-same bed was filled by an artilleryman, a townsman of my own, who had
-got the calf of one of his legs accidentally bruised. The leg inflamed;
-amputation was resorted to; but, with all the attention the surgeons
-paid to him, he also died in a very short time. My wound continued to
-mend; and as soon as I was able to move, I got a crutch and a staff, and
-a strap to support my leg, and got out of bed for a part of the day,
-after having been confined to it nearly six months.
-
-This was about the middle of September, before the Nile had attained the
-height of its inundation. I passed a part of the day, sitting in one of
-the front windows which looked to the Nile, and remarked its daily
-progress. As I grew stronger, I got upon the roof of the building, which
-was flat, and had a view of the town and the surrounding country. In the
-country, on the opposite side of the Nile, nothing was to be seen, as
-far as the eye could reach, but water, with the trees standing in it. I
-travelled about too, visiting my acquaintances in the hospital who
-belonged to the same regiment with myself.
-
-Some of the Arab watermen were employed to supply the hospital with
-water. They brought it from the Nile[16] upon their backs, in the skins
-of goats slung across their shoulders. The skin had been sewed up after
-being taken off the animal, and was in its natural shape; the neck part
-being left open for filling and emptying. (This was simply twisted and
-held together with the hand, when the skin was to be immediately
-emptied; but it might be tied, when it was to be kept full, or carried
-to a distance.) All kinds of liquids, even wine and honey are kept in
-these skins.--This illustrates the parable of the new wine and old
-bottles, Luke v. 37, 38. The bottles were _skins_: and, as wine is a
-fermented liquor, the skin bottles, once used, would be so much
-impregnated with the wine that had been in them, that if new wine were
-put into them, it would cause it to ferment anew; and this would burst
-them. The original inmates of the hospital were now greatly reduced; a
-number having recovered, and a great many having died: but it was not
-allowed in any part to remain empty. Grand Cairo having surrendered to
-the British and Turkish forces on the 24th June, the sick of our own
-army were sent down the Nile; and they filled up all the vacancies.
-Cases of dysentery, and sore eyes, were so numerous, that a number of
-buildings were fitted up in Rosetta for their reception. Many died of
-the dysentery; but those afflicted with sore eyes were most numerous,
-and much to be pitied.--Their torment was excessive: the pain in their
-eyes was as if they had been filled with burning sand, they had no
-respite from acute sufferings; and many lost their sight in spite of all
-the power of medicine. About the end of August, my own eyes became
-dreadfully inflamed in one night. The surgeon applied a very large
-blister in the morning, and by next day the inflammation was greatly
-subsided, but I did not get wholly free of it until I left Egypt, and
-was several days at sea on the way to Malta. The Egyptian _ophthalmia_
-was one of the most dreadful calamities that ever befel the British
-army.
-
-The French that were in Cairo, amounting to 13000, were embarked and
-sent to France in the month of August.
-
-As my leg continued to mend, I felt grateful to God for his great mercy
-to me; but it was not long, until I had to accuse myself of having
-failed in duty, and come short of my promise; and this threw me into
-dejection of mind; which however wore gradually off. As I had much
-leisure time, I read more of my Bible than formerly; but the historical
-parts attracted my attention more than the doctrinal. Happening to read
-through the beginning of Exodus, I was struck when I found, that I had
-made use of the same words that Pharaoh used to Moses, chap. ix. ver.
-28, and which he afterwards repeated, chap. x. ver. 17. This made me
-fear, lest I should prove like Pharaoh; and in place of being softened
-by mercies, and bound by gratitude, become hardened by them and perish
-in the end. I then recollected, that I had heard Dr. Balfour preach,
-from Hebrews iii. 12, 13, I remembered the words, "_lest any of you be
-hardened through the deceitfulness of sin_," and I turned to the passage
-and read it. It led me to ponder on the deceitful nature, and dangerous
-tendency of sin; which increased my fear that I might become hardened,
-and made my mind very uneasy. I would sometimes think on the
-instructions I had got, and the tasks I had learned at the Sabbath
-school; which I had now almost forgotten: I remembered some little of
-the seventeenth chapter of John, for the learning of which, myself and
-others had received a penny. This led me to read it, and the fifty-third
-of Isaiah, which also I had learned; but I did not understand its
-import, although familiar with the words. I then turned over all the
-parallel passages, that I had read, in proof of doctrines in the school;
-and although I did not understand those that treated of the way of a
-sinner's acceptance with God, by faith in the righteousness and
-atonement of the great Redeemer, yet it helped to keep the words of
-Scripture relative to these doctrines on my memory, which was of use to
-me afterwards. But the doctrines of heaven, and hell, the resurrection,
-and eternal judgment, are more readily apprehended: and these made
-increasingly strong impressions on my mind.
-
-I was now pretty certain that I was unfit for military service; and from
-Egypt, the land of bondage, I cast a longing eye to my native home, and
-wished myself there, that I might enjoy the benefits of a Sabbath, the
-instructions of religious teachers, and freedom from the society of the
-wicked. All my hopes now centered in this, and had I despaired of it, I
-would have given myself over for lost.
-
-After the French were embarked who had surrendered at Cairo, our troops
-which had been there, rejoined the army that was blockading Alexandria.
-Several regiments had lately come from England, so that it was now
-pretty strong. Alexandria was immediately besieged in form, and the
-operations pushed so vigorously, that the garrison was compelled to
-surrender on the 1st September, on condition of retaining their private
-property and being sent to France. Their number was about eleven
-thousand, of all descriptions. This event terminated hostilities in
-Egypt, and our troops prepared to leave it as soon as possible. Rosetta
-was occupied during the siege by a division of British, and Sepoys,
-natives of India, under the command of Sir David Baird, who had come
-from the East Indies to our assistance, with about seven thousand men.
-They had sailed up the Red sea, and marched through the desert, and
-arrived at Cairo shortly after it had surrendered. The Sepoys, when off
-duty, laid aside their uniforms, and walked about in the burning sun
-with nothing on the body but a pair of very short white drawers.
-
-The dress of men and women of the common people of Egypt, consists of a
-blue cotton gown resembling a woman's shift: some have an upper and
-under garment. The men wear a sash or girdle round the middle; a turban
-and slippers; but no stockings. The women have no girdle round the
-middle; they wear vails; of which those that I saw were of coarse
-net-work, resembling the texture of a serjeant's sash, and shaped like
-the little bag nets used for catching trout in small rivers. The mouth
-of them is put under the chin and over the forehead, and is fastened
-behind: there are two holes opposite to the eyes, and the tapering end
-hangs down the breast. They appear to think, that modesty lies in
-concealing from public view the lower part of the face, whilst they are
-very negligent in other respects, which are more essential to that
-virtue. To Europeans the appearance of their faces, and particularly the
-part that is usually concealed, is no way interesting.--Their complexion
-is dark; their eyes, in general, are inflamed; and their cheeks and
-chins are marked with the figures of half moons, stars, &c. in the way
-that our sailors mark themselves.
-
-In some of the towns, girls, 14 years old, were seen going to the river
-for water, in a state of complete nudity; and males of all ages were
-seen mixed together in groupes, in the same state, without any sense of
-shame. They anoint their bodies with olive oil, which prevents the sun
-from blistering the skin. There are no stools or chairs for sitting upon
-in Egypt; their common way of sitting is upon the hams of their legs, in
-which posture they will remain for hours, apparently as much at their
-ease as a European upon a chair; they eat their meals in a reclining
-posture, but make no use of knives, forks or spoons; when they sup they
-literally "dip their hand in the dish,"[17] and feed themselves with
-their fingers in place of spoons. The above customs were practised in
-the time of Christ, and still exists through the east.
-
-There are numbers of mosques, or Mahomedan churches, in the towns. They
-have, in general, a particular kind of spires, called minarets, some of
-which are very lofty: they are in shape at the top like an onion, but
-have no weathercocks, nor clocks, nor bells; of which latter, the
-Mahomedan religion prohibits the use. The minarets have all one or more
-balustrades round them, into which a man ascends at the end of every
-watch, and walks round, calling the people to prayers with as loud a
-voice as he possibly can. In Egypt it is commonly a blind man who
-performs this office.
-
-The uninterrupted sunshine at Cairo, afforded the French the means of
-partly supplying the want of clocks and bells, by ascertaining exactly
-when it was twelve o'clock. They mounted one of the guns in the citadel
-upon a peculiar construction, and put some fine brass work at the
-breech, in which was a burning glass just over the touch hole; by which
-the rays of the sun, the instant he reached the meridian, kindled the
-powder and fired the gun. This is a proof that clouds and rain are
-seldom seen at Cairo; otherwise the firing of the gun could not have
-been depended on. When the French left the citadel, the Turks got
-possession of it; and some of them broke and stole the brass work of
-this gun, supposing the polished metal to be gold.
-
-The heat of the country was very oppressive; and the army that went to
-Cairo suffered much from it during their march. The perspiration came
-through their clothes, and wetted their buff belts opposite the back,
-just as if they had been soaked in water.
-
-About this time a very melancholy accident happened to some men of the
-13th regiment of foot. Their regimental store house was in a building a
-few yards from the hospital; some of them were employed sorting
-cartridges in a room on the first floor, when one of them came in
-smoking tobacco, and thoughtlessly held his head over an open chest into
-which they were packing the cartridges; a spark fell from the pipe, and
-the powder exploded and gave a violent shock to the hospital and
-adjacent buildings; several men, and a serjeant's wife, were killed in
-the house, and I think nine or ten more were much bruised and dreadfully
-burned, and were brought into the hospital; their condition was more
-pitiful than that of those who were severely wounded, because so much of
-the skin of the face and body had been burned, that they had not sound
-skin left to lie upon; five or six of them lingered about a week in
-great agony, and died. I think that twelve or sixteen were killed or
-severely injured by this accident. Some who were sitting in the bottom
-of an open window, with their legs over the wall, were blown down into
-the street, but were not much hurt.
-
-Towards the end of September, my wound was nearly whole, but my leg was
-very much contracted. I was ordered to prepare to join my regiment at
-Alexandria to go home with it. But before taking a final leave of the
-hospitals, I would make a few further remarks upon the manner in which I
-saw my fellow creatures depart this life. And it must be confessed, that
-to all appearance many of them died _hardy_; they might groan through
-extremity of bodily pain, but did not exhibit any anguish of mind at the
-fear of death or judgment; but I could not discern any rational ground
-for this apparent want of anxiety about futurity. To make a merit of
-meeting death bravely, when it can not be avoided, is but a poor reason
-for a rational, immortal, and accountable creature, to act upon. If man
-is a sinner, and must render an account to his Maker when he dies,
-surely to manifest no concern about the issue of death, is not to act
-the part worthy of a rational creature. To shut out all concern about
-eternity, in order to act the _hero_ at the last, is liker the conduct
-of a blind madman than a true _hero_; for true courage in the hour of
-death can only be founded on the knowledge of our being happier
-hereafter; and this persuasion is only to be attained, by the reception
-of the good news of salvation by Jesus Christ, revealed in the
-Scriptures. Infidelity has said much against the superstition of the
-Bible; but while it does this, it gives an accountable creature nothing
-in the room of it upon which to found a reasonable hope for eternity.
-Infidels have often said that the fears of hell which make men afraid to
-die, are the produce of superstition. Were there none of those whom I
-saw die, who had freed themselves of the fears produced by the Bible
-account of a future state? It is likely that some of them had; for their
-previous habits and behaviour were as opposite to the Scriptures, as if
-they had never heard of such a book; and it was as little talked of, as
-if it had never existed. If infidelity be _true_, the death of its
-disciples ought to be more dignified and composed than that of any
-others: their future prospects ought to be the most certain,
-intelligent, and cheering to the immortal soul, when it is about to take
-its flight into the world of spirits and return to God who gave it. A
-dying infidel, if his system be _truth_, should be one that should
-rejoice in death, that he had freed himself from the fears produced by
-the Bible; he ought to be able to direct those around his dying bed to
-the truth that supports his mind, and show, at the same time, that he
-has a proper discernment of his own condition as an accountable
-creature, and suitable conceptions of the moral character of his Maker
-and Judge. But of all that I ever saw die, I never heard any rejoicing
-in the assertions of infidelity: I saw many die apparently _hardy_; but
-their deaths resembled more that of the beasts that perish, than of
-accountable immortal creatures. I have since seen Christians die, but
-the manner of their death was very different: their conceptions of the
-majesty and holy purity of God were exalted; their sense of the evil of
-their own sins, and the moral responsibility of their conduct, was deep;
-but with all this full in their view, they had good hope through
-trusting in Christ; and I never yet saw or heard of a dying Christian
-who regretted that he had trusted too much to Christ, or thought too
-highly of him; but the contrary. I have often heard them regret deeply
-that they had thought too lowly of him, and of what he had done to save
-sinners, and had trusted too little to him, and depended too little on
-the promises of the Bible; and I have heard them pray earnestly for
-forgiveness for this, as being the most heinous of all their
-sins.--Reader, if ever your mind has been stumbled by the arguments of
-infidelity, try it by this test,--what provision does it make for
-eternity, to a sinful and accountable creature; and you will find that
-in this most important of all other concerns it makes no provision
-whatever: it is revelation alone that either does or can make any
-provision for a certain ground of hope for futurity. God alone can tell
-how he will forgive sin: he has done this in the Scriptures, and there
-alone. O be sure you examine what is revealed in them upon this subject,
-and build your hope for eternity only upon what God has revealed to a
-sinner to trust in, that you may not die in despair, nor be deluded by a
-false hope, and finally be disappointed: and for this purpose, I
-earnestly entreat your serious consideration of what is said towards the
-conclusion of this narrative.
-
-Before leaving the hospital, I feel bound in gratitude to acknowledge
-the care and attention that was paid to the sick and wounded: all things
-considered, every thing was done for them that could be done, and much
-expense was incurred for medicines, attendance, and accommodation, and
-every exertion made to procure suitable provisions. When I think upon it
-to this day, I feel grateful for the care that was taken of the
-helpless, and those who were rendered unfit to serve their country any
-longer: by this means many were preserved to their families and their
-friends, who otherwise would never have returned.
-
-On the 29th September, I embarked in a Germ on the Nile, which dropped
-down the river, and lay near the entrance, to be ready to pass the bar
-early in the morning, that being the most favourable time; for the wind
-rises at sun rise, and blows from the sea up the river during the day,
-with a steady, and sometimes strong breeze, and dies away in the
-evening. Vessels going up the Nile carry a press of sail, and go at a
-great rate during the day, and stop at night: vessels going down the
-river lower their sails and yards, lay their broadside to the stream,
-and drift along with it. On the morning of the 30th, the wind and surf
-were so high, that it was unsafe to attempt passing the bar; so that we
-returned to Rosetta and lay it the quay three days, waiting for moderate
-weather. The Nile was still considerably above its banks: the extensive
-fields of rice, and corn, particularly on the east side, excited my
-admiration. The seed had been sown previously to the inundation, and had
-taken root and grown up with the rise of the water; which made it to
-have a compact and level surface, resembling that of a bowling-green,
-for many miles. This crop would be ripe, by the time the inundation
-would fall within the banks of the river; and another crop of wheat or
-barley, and one of clover or vegetables, would be produced before the
-return of the inundation next year.--Water is raised by buffaloes and
-oxen from the river, into the canals;[18] the beds of which are above
-the level of the country. It is let out into the fields during the
-growth of the other two crops; and when the last one is reaped, this
-labour is suspended. Then the heat of the sun soon dries the ground, and
-rends it into numerous and deep fissures; some of them are from ten to
-twenty feet deep. The army experienced considerable difficulty from this
-cause, on its march back from Cairo; particularly at night, when both
-men and horses were in danger of having their legs broke by falling into
-them.
-
-While I lay at the quay, I was astonished at the great number of boats
-discharging cargoes of grain, which was piled in huge heaps in the open
-air, not far from the brink of the river;[19] a sight which reminded one
-of the words of Jacob, "I have heard that there is _corn_ in Egypt."
-But, with all this plenty, it is a miserable place. The common people
-enjoy little of its abundance; their condition is the most wretched I
-ever saw or heard of among civilized nations. The houses of the
-peasantry are mere hovels, little if any thing better than the Kraals of
-the wild Hottentots.[20] The inhabitants of the land of Egypt, which was
-the house of bondage to the children of Israel, now suffer bondage in
-their own land, little, if at all, interior to that which their
-ancestors made the Israelites suffer. The government has for a long time
-been in the hands of Turks or Mamelukes, who are always foreigners, and
-who rule with rigour; and the inhabitants never take any interest in the
-affairs of the government, but are entirely passive to every change that
-takes place. The country abounds with Arabs. The Copts, its original
-inhabitants, are the fewest in number; they profess Christianity, and
-are the more liable, on that account, to be oppressed by their Mahomedan
-masters. The prediction is now fully verified, that Egypt, once the
-_first_ of nations, should become the _basest_ of kingdoms: Ezek. xxix.
-15, 16. It is sunk so low in ignorance and wretchedness, that, if it
-were not for the many elegant and stupendous remains of antiquity
-existing in the country, the voice of history, strong as it is, could
-scarcely be credited, that it was once the _first_ of nations, and the
-seat of the arts and sciences. It is a land of pestilence and disease.
-"In Cairo, last year, forty thousand were supposed to be infected with
-the plague: and many of the French garrison died in that city, although
-the disease was treated in their hospitals with the greatest ability. In
-Upper Egypt sixty thousand perished during the same season,"[21] besides
-those who died of it in other parts of the country. Among the British,
-the plague was confined to the "hospital and troops stationary at
-Aboukir, where it broke out on the 12th April, and terminated on the
-26th August. Three hundred and eighty, in the course of that time, were
-affected with it; one hundred and seventy-three died, and two hundred
-and seven recovered. The deaths chiefly fell on the orderlies, nurses,
-and other servants of the hospitals."[22] "The plague raged again at
-Rosetta towards the fall of the year and numbers of the Sepoys died of
-it."[23] When a person is infected with the pestilence, after the manner
-of Egypt, (Amos iv. 10,) the disease is indicated by two boils which are
-commonly in the groin. In addition to the plague, "Leprosy of the worst
-species, and Elephantiasis, which swells the legs larger than a common
-bolster," and a number of other diseases are very general. "The number
-of blind is prodigious, nearly every fifth inhabitant has lost one eye,
-and many both. All the children have sore eyes, and Europeans do not
-escape better. The French at first had more than two thirds of their
-army affected with this malady; and the English, during their short
-stay, had one hundred and sixty totally blind, and two hundred that lost
-one eye irrecoverably."[24] How many more were affected with this
-dreadful malady among the troops that remained in the country until the
-following year, when it was wholly evacuated, I can not tell; but have
-reason to believe the number was considerable. Children must suffer much
-during their infancy from the flies, because they are unable to drive
-them from their eyes. I saw a woman going to the Nile for water, which
-she carried in a pitcher upon her head: a naked child sat across her
-shoulders; its little hands were employed in holding by the head of its
-mother, to prevent itself from falling; its eye-lashes were literally
-black with flies that were sucking at its eyes, as they would do at
-sugar. They work themselves into the inner coating of the eyelids of
-infants, which no doubt causes some of them to lose their sight in their
-tender years. In addition to flies, gnats and mosquitoes, all other
-kinds of vermin are incredibly numerous and troublesome; so much so,
-that, although there were nothing else but them, they would make Egypt
-an uncomfortable country to live in. Although the French used all the
-freedom of conquerors, they were perfectly sick of it. When we landed,
-they supposed, that, after we had expelled them, we intended to retain
-possession of it; and they sincerely pitied the lot of their supposed
-successors. They fought, indeed, bravely; but it was not out of love to
-the country, but in subordination to military discipline, and for the
-honour of their arms; but when compelled to surrender on condition of
-being sent home to France, they rejoiced in the event as a happy
-deliverance. And indeed it was no wonder; for, in addition to the
-disagreeable nature of the climate, many of the military posts where
-they did duty, being in lonely sandy deserts, were so ill accommodated,
-and in all respects so uncomfortable, that to do service at them was
-fitter for being a punishment to men banished for their crimes, than for
-those who deserved well of their country.
-
-Dr. Clarke sailed up the Nile on the 10th of August, 1801, when the
-river was beginning to overflow the country. The following extract
-corroborates all that I had heard related by my comrades, after they had
-returned from Cairo, and is so interesting, that it will gratify such
-readers as have not access to his work. After passing Rachmanie, he
-says, "Villages in an almost uninterrupted succession, denoted a much
-greater population than we had imagined this country to contain. Upon
-each side of the river, as far as the eye could reach, we saw fields of
-corn and rice, with such beautiful groves, seeming to rise out of the
-watery plains, and to shade innumerable settlements in the _Delta_,
-amidst never-ending plantations of melons, and all kinds of garden
-vegetables, that, from the abundance of its harvests, Egypt might be
-deemed the richest country in the world. Such is the picture exhibited
-to the native inhabitants, who are seasoned to withstand the disorders
-of the country, and can bear with indifference the attacks of myriads of
-all sorts of noxious animals; to whom mud and mosquitoes, or dust and
-vermin, are alike indifferent; who, having never experienced one
-comfortable feeling in the midst of their highest enjoyments, nor a
-single antidote to sorrow in the depths of their wretchedness, vegetate,
-like the _bananas_ and _sycamores_ around them. But strangers, and
-especially the inhabitants of _Northern_ countries, where wholesome air
-and cleanliness are among the necessaries of life, must consider Egypt
-as the most detestable region upon earth. Upon the retiring of the Nile,
-the country is one vast swamp. The atmosphere is impregnated with every
-putrid and offensive exhalation, then stagnates, like the filthy pools
-over which it broods. Then, too, the plague regularly begins; nor
-ceases, until the waters return again.[25] Throughout the spring,
-intermitting fevers universally prevail. About the beginning of May,
-certain winds cover even the sands of the desert with the most
-disgusting vermin.[26] The latest descendants of Pharaoh are not yet
-delivered from the evils which fell upon the land, when it was smitten
-by the hands of Moses and Aaron; the 'plague of frogs,' the 'plague of
-lice,' the 'plague of flies,' the 'murrain, boils, and blains,' prevail
-so, that the whole country is 'corrupted,' and '_the dust of the earth
-becomes lice, upon man and upon beast, throughout the land of Egypt_.'
-This application of the words of sacred Scripture affords a literal
-statement of existing evils, such an one as the statistics of the
-country do now warrant. In its justification, an appeal may be made to
-the testimony of all those who have resided in the country during the
-very opposite seasons of its prosperity and privation; during the
-inundation, and when the flood has retired, or before it takes place, in
-the beginning of the year. At the period of the overflow, persons who
-drink the water become subject to a disorder called '_prickly heat_:'
-this often terminates in those dreadful wounds alluded to in the sacred
-writings, by the words '_boils and blains_.' During the months of
-_June_, _July_, and _August_, many individuals are deprived of sight,
-owing to a disorder of the eyes peculiar to this country. _Europeans_,
-having no other name for it, have called it _ophthalmia_, from the
-organs it affects. There was hardly an individual who did not suffer,
-more or less, the consequences of this painful malady. At this season,
-also, the dysentery begins to number its victims; and although some be
-fortunate enough to escape the worst effects of this disorder, it proves
-fatal in many instances."[27]
-
-Dr. Clarke's account of what he experienced at Cairo, in the middle of
-August, is also interesting: "The mercury in Fahrenheit's thermometer
-seemed at this time fixed. It remained at 90 degrees for several days,
-without the smallest perceptible change. Almost every European suffered
-from inflammation of the eyes. Many were troubled with cutaneous
-disorders. The prickly heat was very common. This was attributed to
-drinking the muddy water of the Nile, the inhabitants having no other.
-Their mode of purifying it, in a certain degree, is by rubbing the
-inside of the water vessel with bruised almonds: this precipitates a
-portion of the mud, but it is never quite clear. Many persons were
-afflicted with sores upon the skin, which were called '_biles of the
-Nile_;' and dysenterical complaints were universal. A singular species
-of _lizard_ made its appearance in every chamber, having circular
-membranes at the extremity of its feet, which gave it such tenacity,
-that it walked upon window-panes of glass, or upon the surfaces of
-pendent mirrors.[28] This revolting sight was common to every apartment,
-whether in the houses of the rich or of the poor. At the same time, such
-a plague of flies covered all things with their swarms, that it was
-impossible to eat without hiring persons to stand by every table with
-feathers, or flappers, to drive them away. Liquor could not be poured
-into a glass; the mode of drinking was by keeping the mouth of every
-bottle covered until the moment it was applied to the lips: and
-instantly covering it with the palm of the hand, when removing it to
-offer to any one else. The utmost attention to cleanliness, by a
-frequent change of every article of wearing apparel, could not repel the
-attacks of vermin which seemed to infest even the air of the place. A
-gentleman made his appearance before a party he had invited to dinner,
-with lice swarming upon his clothes. The only explanation he could give
-as to the cause, was, that he had sat for a short time in one of the
-boats upon the canal. Perhaps objection may be made to a statement even
-of facts, which refers to no pleasing theme; but the author does not
-conceive it possible to give _Englishmen_ a correct notion of the trials
-to which they will be exposed in visiting this country, without calling
-some things by their proper names."[29]
-
-Before losing sight of the contest that was in Egypt, it may not be
-amiss to glance at the unavoidable evils of _war_. With the inhabitants
-we had no quarrel: our sole object was to expel the French. But this
-could not be done, without the peaceful inhabitants receiving, in many
-cases, serious injury. The roads from town to town did not suit the
-march of the army to and from Cairo; the troops generally took the
-direct road through the corn-fields, and their encampments were
-sometimes in fields of corn, tobacco, poppies, sego, melons, indigo, &c.
-the produce of which, however valuable, was destroyed. Fuel was scarce;
-and the soldiers were necessitated to use whatever would burn. Stalks of
-tobacco, bean straw, and such like substances, were used to boil the
-kettles;[30] and in places where dry straw was difficult to be had, it
-was necessary to place guards at the entrances to the neighbouring
-villages or towns, to prevent the soldiers from unroofing the houses for
-wood to make fuel: and with all the attention of the officers, such was
-the necessity of the case, that injury could not always be prevented.
-
-The discipline of the army was strict, and the general behaviour of the
-troops good; but many instances of petty depredations and pilfering took
-place, that were not known, and could not be prevented. Many instances
-occurred of inhabitants, particularly Arabs, who sold bread, fruit,
-eggs, &c. having their articles taken from them by "fellows of the baser
-sort," without any payment, and sometimes with abuse into the bargain.
-The Arabs when so used would throw dust upon their heads, and call upon
-God, and the Prophet, and the Sultan. But as this usage was not general,
-and as the army spent a considerable sum of good money among them,[31]
-they were not deterred from following it with whatever they had to sell,
-and I believe many of them made more money at that time, than ever they
-had an opportunity of doing before or since. On the afternoon of the 2d
-October, we again left Rosetta, and lay for the night near the mouth of
-the river. The wind was moderate next morning; we passed the bar safely:
-had a pleasant voyage across the bay of Aboukir, and through Like
-Maadie; passed through the cut in the banks of the canal of Alexandria
-into Lake Mareotis,[32] and landed not far from the place where the
-battle of the 21st of March was fought, of which I had thus another
-view, and which I never can forget. I joined the regiment on the heights
-of Alexandria; we embarked next day at Aboukir, on board of two
-frigates; sailed on the morning of the 7th October; and lost sight of
-the celebrated land of Egypt by 12 o'clock. None regretted this. We
-indeed regretted our countrymen and comrades, who had found a grave
-there; but the country itself had no charms to make us regret leaving
-it. All our thoughts were now fixed upon home; and we rejoiced to think,
-that every day was bringing us nearer it.
-
-Footnote 16:
-
- During the time of the inundation, the water in the river is very
- thick but as much pure water as served us for drinking, was procured
- from some private wells in the town, which I suppose had a
- communication with the river, which had the effect of filtering the
- water.
-
-Footnote 17:
-
- Matthew xxvi. 23.
-
-Footnote 18:
-
- I saw the buffaloes at this employment, when I sailed up the river, on
- the 24th June, when coming to Rosetta. The buffalo is much larger than
- the ox; his bones are uncommonly large, even in comparison to the size
- of his body, which is very lean; his strength must be much greater
- than that of the ox. When he walks, he carries his head like the
- camel, his nose being nearly as high as his horns, and is on the whole
- a very dull looking animal; but, notwithstanding, he is capable of
- being trained to this work, as well, if not better, than the ox, for I
- saw them keeping a slow but steady pace at their work, without the
- immediate presence of a driver. The water is raised by a wheel, upon
- which buckets or earthen pitchers are fastened.
-
- Since the publication of the first edition, I have seen the 5th vol.
- of Dr. Clarke's Travels in Egypt; and as his knowledge is more
- extensive than mine, I take the liberty of inserting an extract, upon
- the produce and manner of cultivating the Delta. Speaking of the
- method of watering the ground, he says, "The land thus watered,
- produces three crops in each year; the first of clover, the second of
- corn, and the third of rice. The rice grounds are inundated, from the
- time of sowing nearly to harvest. The seed is commonly cast upon the
- water, a practice twice alluded to in sacred Scripture. _Balaam_
- prophesied of _Israel_, Numb. xxiv. 7, that 'his seed should be in
- many waters.' In the directions given for charity, by the son of
- _David_, it is written, Eccles. xi. 1. 'Cast thy bread (_i. e._ bread
- corn) upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.' When
- the rice plants are about two feet high they are transplanted."--Vol.
- v. pp. 47, 48.
-
-Footnote 19:
-
- The grain was measured by an Arab into baskets, which were carried to
- the heap by others, upon their shoulders. The measurer accompanied his
- work with a song indicative of the quantity he put into each basket.
- The owner stood upon the quay and received a bean or pea from the
- carriers as they passed by him to the heap; and this was the method by
- which he kept an account of the quantity landed.
-
-Footnote 20:
-
- I saw the exterior of some of these houses on the banks of the Nile,
- but never had an opportunity of seeing their interior. Sir R. Wilson
- says, in vol. i. pp. 156, 157, "All language is insufficient to give a
- just idea of the misery of an Egyptian village; but those who have
- been in Ireland, may best suppose the degree, when an Irish hut is
- described as a palace, in comparison to an Arab's stye; for it can be
- called by no other name. Each habitation is built of mud, even the
- roof, and resembles in shape an oven: within is only one apartment,
- generally of about ten feet square. The door does not admit of a man's
- entering upright; but, as the bottom is dug out about two feet, when
- in the room an erect posture is possible. A mat, some large vessels to
- hold water, which is the constant occupation of the women to fetch; a
- pitcher made of fine porous clay, found best in Upper Egypt, near
- Cunei, and in which the water is kept very cool; a rice pan and coffee
- pot, are all the ornaments and utensils. Here, then, a whole family
- eat and sleep without any consideration of decency or cleanliness;
- being, in regard to the latter, worse even than the beasts of the
- field, which naturally respect their own tenements."
-
-Footnote 21:
-
- Sir R. Wilson's History, vol. ii. p. 116.
-
-Footnote 22:
-
- Ibid. pp. 115, 132.
-
-Footnote 23:
-
- Ibid. p. 119.
-
-Footnote 24:
-
- Ibid. p. 121.
-
-Footnote 25:
-
- "General _Le Grange_ assured us, when on board the _Braakel_, that the
- ravages in the French army, caused by the plague, during the month of
- April, at one time, amounted to an hundred men in a single day."
-
-Footnote 26:
-
- "Sir Sidney Smith informed the author (Dr. Clarke) that one night,
- preferring a bed upon the sand of the desert to a night's lodging in
- the village of Etko, as thinking he should be more secure from vermin,
- he found himself, in the morning, entirely covered by them. Lice and
- _scorpions_ abound in all the sandy desert near Alexandria." One of my
- comrades informed me, that when some of the _date_ trees were split at
- _Aboukir_, for making the hospital, there were so many lice in the
- hearts of them that they might have been gathered in handfuls. The
- frogs also were so abundant at some of the places where the army
- halted between Rosetta and Cairo, that it was not possible to get at
- the water in the river without treading upon them; and at one place
- the camp ground was literally covered with black beetles, to the no
- small annoyance of the soldiers in the tents, and the bed frames and
- mats that we got new in the hospital in Rosetta in the end of June,
- were so full of bugs by the end of September, that they were fit only
- to be burnt.
-
-Footnote 27:
-
- Clarke's Travels, vol. v. pp. 56, 59.
-
-Footnote 28:
-
- "A similar membrane terminates each foot of a common fly: beneath
- which a vacuum takes place, and the animal maintains a footing upon
- ceilings, owing to the pressure of the external air upon this
- membrane."
-
-Footnote 29:
-
- Clarke's Travels, vol. v. pp. 78, 80.
-
-Footnote 30:
-
- When their rations happened to be salt pork, they used to put a piece
- of it under the kettle to burn with the straw.
-
-Footnote 31:
-
- With the exception of gold, which was in the hands of a few, the coin
- circulating in Egypt was made of base metal, watered over with silver;
- and was of little or no intrinsic value. There were large pieces of
- this kind, some of them larger than a crown, which were of different
- values: but a small coin, called a para, about the breadth of a
- farthing, and no thicker than the scale of a fish, was the most
- common; of which 120, and in some places 160, were given for a Spanish
- dollar. The money expended by the army was gold and Spanish dollars.
-
-Footnote 32:
-
- The inundation in this lake extended farther than the eye could reach.
- The banks of the canal formed a road for communicating with the
- interior of the country; a bridge of boats united the banks, one of
- the boats being moveable, for the purpose of allowing vessels to pass
- in and out of Lake Mareotis. Before the army wholly left the country,
- the boats forming the bridge were sunk in the cut, and served for a
- foundation upon which the banks were rebuilt. When the British took
- Alexandria, in March, 1807, a detachment was sent to take Rosetta; but
- they were repulsed by those Turks who had accompanied the army on its
- march to and from Cairo, and who had acquired a considerable portion
- of British discipline. The rays of the sun had by this time so far
- dried up the salt water in Lake Mareotis as to render it passable; but
- the British again cut the banks of the canal, and admitted the sea
- into it, to protect Alexandria from being attacked by the Turks.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-After a pleasant passage, having light winds and fine weather, we
-arrived at Malta on the 23d October. Here our joy was wonderfully
-heightened by the news of peace. The news had come from France, but they
-were credit worthy. The only cause of regret was, that such an important
-and strongly fortified place as Malta, where we now lay, was to be given
-up. We did not leave Malta until the 26th November, at which delay the
-soldiers were vexed; but the naval officers were no way anxious to get
-home, because they knew that the ship would be paid off, and they would
-then lose their situations. Our own officers were apprehensive that the
-regiment might be reduced, which would put them on half pay; but the men
-rejoiced in the prospect.[33] We had a tedious passage down the
-Mediterranean, and did not arrive at Gibraltar until the 20d December.
-We left it on the 1st January, 1802, and arrived at the Cove of Cork on
-the 23d, having had rough weather all the way, which on two occasions
-increased to a tempest, and did the ship I was in considerable damage.
-We had to ride quarantine until the 9th February. My leg had stretched
-considerably during the passage, and I walked about the deck with the
-help of a stick. The regiment landed, and marched into Cork on the 12th,
-the wounded and baggage being conveyed by water. And here I found that,
-although I could safely walk about with a stick on the level deck of a
-ship, my leg was not sufficiently strong to travel the necessary
-distances on land. My wound here broke out again; and when the regiment
-left Cork for Kilkenny, although I rode upon the baggage, yet the
-travelling from the places where the baggage halted to my billet, which
-was sometimes more than a mile, was injurious to me. We came to Kilkenny
-on the 21st, and lay in it about six weeks. The regiment was inspected
-by the General and Surgeon of the district, and a great number ordered
-to be discharged, of which I was one.
-
-My conduct in Kilkenny was not what it ought to have been; not that I
-fell into open gross sin, but I did not improve my mercies as I ought,
-and was guilty of what I disallowed in my own conscience, and felt my
-weakness and inability to overcome the inward workings of corruption. I
-here bought Young's Night Thoughts, that by reading it, I might fortify
-my mind against temptation. I placed great confidence in the power of
-the poet's language; but it had not the effect I wished and expected. I
-was one evening at the Methodist chapel; but I did not pay that
-attention to the Sabbath which I might have done. The regiment left
-Kilkenny, and marched for Belfast; and when we came to Dublin, the
-discharged men that were recommended to the benefit of Chelsea Hospital,
-embarked for Liverpool, from which we proceeded to London; where I was
-examined and admitted an out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital, on the 27th
-May, 1802. I left London on the 29th, and took a passage in one of the
-Carron Company's brigs; landed at Queensferry on the 12th of June, and
-arrived in Glasgow next day, happy to find myself restored to my
-friends.--My wound was still open; I might have gone into York Hospital
-in London, and been cured, previously to being discharged; and had I
-been wise, I should have done this: but I was so anxious to be home,
-that I did not do it, for fear it might delay me some time.
-
-My military life being now terminated, I desire to bless God, with a
-grateful heart, for his goodness and care over me while in the army, in
-a particular not before referred to. For during the six years that I was
-a soldier, I was never confuted for any fault. My conduct was, in
-general, good, in a military point of view; but there were times that I
-was guilty of faults, for which I might have been punished, and which I
-have reason to thank God for escaping. And what is a little singular, I
-was never concerned in any court martial case, nor so much as a witness
-against any man; on the whole, I passed comparatively easy and quietly
-through the army, and without doubt, the remaining restraints of early
-and religious instruction was one particular mean of preserving me from
-many evils and dangers; and in this respect proved an invaluable
-blessing to me, while I was a soldier. I mention this particular to show
-what good early religious instruction may do, although it may not have
-the effect of converting the soul.
-
-I had now attained my wishes, by being safely settled at home. God had
-given me the desire of my heart. If I did not now find ability to keep
-the commandments of God, in the way that I proposed to myself, and upon
-which I founded my hope of meriting and enjoying his favour, I could not
-expect to find any situation more favourable. I called to mind all the
-promises I had made, and reflected on all the deliverances God had
-graciously given me, and the gratitude that was due to him for them.
-Circumstances led me to attend Mr. Ewing's ministry at the Tabernacle;
-but, although I attended divine ordinances, and read religious books, I
-was not a whit the better. I had also considerable opportunity of being
-alone; but where I thought I would be strongest, there I found I was
-weakest; and, when removed from outward temptation, inward corruption
-increased, and baffled my utmost efforts. The more I strove to keep my
-own heart and life from sin, the more sin triumphed over me. I found, in
-my experience, that I was a slave to sin; for what I set myself to
-overcome, overcame me. At the same time, the spirituality of God's law
-increasingly opened on my mind; I daily saw more of the extent of the
-work I had assigned to myself to perform, in order to obtain the favour
-of God; and found that my practice, in place of getting nearer, was
-getting farther from it. When I looked back on the mercies I had
-received, and the promises and resolutions I had made, I saw that I had
-all along been mocking God, having never fulfilled any of them. This
-broke my peace of mind; I became more subject to the terrors of the law
-than I had ever been; my conscience accused me of the blackest
-ingratitude; I had no refuge to fly to; my sins became too heavy for me;
-the justice of God stared me in the face; and now I saw that I was a
-condemned criminal. I gave over all hope of obtaining the favour of God
-by my own doings; I resolved to mock him with no more promises of
-amendment of life; I confessed that hell was what I deserved; that the
-law which condemned me was just: and, when I did this, the importance of
-being delivered from such a dreadful situation was increasingly
-impressed upon my mind: but how to obtain that deliverance I could not
-tell. I saw by the Scriptures, that "unless a man be born again, he can
-not enter into the kingdom of God," and that no unholy being shall enter
-heaven. I prayed earnestly for the new heart and the right spirit, but
-did not correctly understand in what this change consisted. I passed a
-considerable time subject to sharp conflicts in my mind, during which,
-the stings of conscience and the terrors of the law were beyond
-description: but all was kept within my own breast, without being
-discerned by any one. My leg continued bad until the beginning of 1803,
-when I confined myself to bed for some weeks, and had the pleasure once
-more of seeing it heal. I felt thankful to God for this new mercy; but
-it added fresh torment to my mind, for it furnished my conscience with
-new matter of accusation. In perusing Boston's "Fourfold State," I was
-startled at reading how the branches are taken out of the natural stock.
-I saw my own case pretty fully described; but as I did not understand
-what it was to be "apprehended of Christ," and united to the vine, it
-only increased my uneasiness. I also heard a man in conversation in my
-company declare, that, before a sinner can be brought to God, the same
-power behooved to be exerted that converted the apostle Paul. I did not
-assent to what he said, because I did not believe it; but I marked the
-saying. I became increasingly uneasy; I had no peace in my mind;
-eternity was before me; I was without hope, and knew not how to obtain
-it. "_What_," said I, "_shall become of me_!" I was agitated almost to
-despair; all that prevented me from falling into it was the
-consideration that I was yet in life, and that God had not forbidden me
-to cry for mercy: and for mercy I did cry, if peradventure I might find
-it.
-
-My leg now threatened to break out again.--This alarmed me more, and it
-prevented me from going, as I had done, to the Tabernacle. The forenoon
-of the second Sabbath after Albion-street chapel was opened, I passed
-solitary at home; but I was in a most painful state of mind, of which
-the agitations can not be described. My convictions of sin were so sharp
-as to drive me into a state, which, if it was not absolute despair,
-could hardly be distinguished from it. I could not bear my own presence,
-and became afraid to be alone. "_What shall become of me!_" was the
-unremitting thought of my agitated soul. It at length drove me to my
-knees; where, with tears, I confessed my sins to God without reserve or
-palliation; fully acknowledged the righteousness and justice of his law;
-disclaimed all merit of my own; confessed that I never had any, nor any
-ability to obtain it; that I was totally unable to do any thing to
-procure his favour, or to recompense him for it, should he bestow it;
-and that if I was saved from endless wo, it would be, because he would
-have mercy on me, out of his own sovereign pleasure, and not on account
-of any merit of mine. I cast myself upon his pure mercy, and confessed
-that if there was not pure mercy for sinners, I could have no
-hope.--When I arose from my knees, it was near the time of the
-afternoon's service. I felt quite uneasy at home. I thought I would
-venture as far as to Albion street chapel, because it was at no great
-distance, and because I had heard my father speaking favourably of you
-as a preacher. I was the more disposed too to go there, because I knew
-you were in connexion with Mr. Ewing, of whom I had formed a favourable
-opinion. When I got to the chapel, I was all attention. When you prayed,
-I endeavoured to pray also. But nothing particularly affected me, until
-you gave out your text, 1 Cor. ii. 2. "For I determined not to know any
-thing among you, save Jesus Christ and him crucified."--I was struck
-with the text, and became anxiously attentive, to see if I could catch
-any thing from the discourse which was to follow, that could give ease
-to my troubled mind. You had preached from it the preceding sabbath, and
-having recapitulated what you had gone over, you proceeded to the
-remainder of the subject; the tenor of which was, _the nature of the
-work that Christ had accomplished in the room of sinners, for their
-salvation._ As you proceeded, I thought I began to discern something I
-had not seen before.--But when you proved from the Scriptures, that the
-work which Christ had finished on mount Calvary, was of itself
-sufficient to save sinners, and that God had accepted his work as
-satisfactory to him; that, therefore, the work of Christ being perfect,
-nothing could be added to it; that it was impious to attempt to add any
-thing to it, and that sinners ought to rest satisfied with that which
-God had declared was satisfactory to him, seeing he knew best what was
-necessary to satisfy his justice, and to secure his own honour in
-pardoning sinners; that no good works were required of the sinner by
-God, as _the ground of his acceptance with him_, either in whole or in
-part, but that it was the merit of the work of Christ alone, that
-justified sinners in the sight of a holy God, and that all the praise of
-their salvation belonged to Christ, and to the grace of God in him; and
-that sinners should believe this doctrine as good news, and put their
-trust in it for the salvation they needed.--You I think spoke also of
-the effect which the faith of this doctrine had on all them that
-believed it, in leading them to love God, and to keep his commandments.
-I was greatly enlightened by the whole discourse; but my mind
-particularly catched the words, that the work of Christ was of itself
-perfect; that nothing could be taken from it, or added to it; and that
-it was impious to attempt to add any thing to it.--This doctrine
-appeared new to me. I thought I had never heard it before. I left the
-chapel when the service was over, repeating to myself the words, "_The
-work of Christ is perfect, sufficient of itself to save a sinner_;" and,
-as I repeated it, I said, "This is good news if it be true." Another
-thought now started into my mind:--"If it be true that nothing can be
-added to it, and that it is impious to attempt it, how guilty have I
-been!"--My whole train of repentances, promises, resolutions, and
-attempted reformations, has not only been sinful in the sight of God, on
-account of their failures, but have been impious acts of rebellion; not
-on account of my endeavouring to forsake sin, and to cultivate holiness,
-but on account of the motive that produced them, which was a desire to
-work out a righteousness of my own, to the rejecting of the
-righteousness of Christ; placing my works on a level with his, nay,
-above his; seeking to merit God's favour by my own doings; and when
-doubting of their complete sufficiency, having recourse to the merits of
-Christ, merely to make up the deficiency of mine; and even this, not
-from voluntary choice, but from a feeling of necessity. This was a new
-source of guilt to my conscience, which had never burdened it before. I
-began to apprehend I had been guilty of the sin of unbelief, so often
-spoken of in the Scriptures, and so strongly condemned. But while my
-conscience accused me of this, a gleam of hope dawned on my soul, by
-ruminating on the sufficiency of the work of Christ; and the more I
-pondered on the subject, my hope increased, and the more my hope
-increased, the stronger my sense of the sin of unbelief grew. These two
-things kept pace with one another: and while hope cheered my heart, this
-new sense of guilt made me humble. I did not think less of the guilt of
-my other sins; but this sin seemed to outweigh them all, so that I
-became increasingly vile in my own sight.
-
-I read the Scriptures, with prayer to God for light and direction, that
-I might truly judge the doctrine I had been hearing, and not be led
-astray by that which was not his own truth. I compared scripture with
-scripture; and I now found the very great benefit of being acquainted
-with the letter of the Bible, and of having much of it on my memory. My
-meditations were greatly assisted by what was stored in it; for when
-employed at my work, I often recollected passages, and compared them
-together. All the drift of my thoughts, was to find if there was
-evidence of the sufficiency of the work of Christ, for a sinner's
-salvation; and in many of these passages I found such evidence: they
-appeared to me in a new light; and the sense was so obvious, that I
-wondered how I had not seen it before. This new discernment gradually
-increased; and, as my wound did not break out, I continued to attend Mr.
-Ewing's ministry, and was growing in knowledge by means of his sermons.
-One of them was particularly blessed to me. It was an evening sermon
-from Matth. iii. 17. "And lo, a voice from heaven, which said, This is
-my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." The moment the text was
-read, I catched the words, "_in whom I am well pleased_." I saw them, as
-containing a proof of God's satisfaction in the work of his Son on the
-behalf of sinners; I followed the preacher through the discourse, and
-was at no loss to comprehend his meaning; the doctrine was plain and
-evident to me. I had still, however, some perplexity in my mind, about
-the nature of the good works to be performed after believing. But this
-was removed by a sermon from Mr. Greig[34] from Heb. iii. 14. "For we
-are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence
-steadfast unto the end." My mind now became decided; I saw that if a
-sinner had Christ, he had all. I was sweetly constrained to give myself
-wholly up to him; to be content to be saved by his merits, to the entire
-and eternal exclusion of my own; to place my hope of acceptance with
-God, both now and hereafter, solely upon _his_ perfect righteousness,
-and complete atonement; and to commit my polluted soul to the gracious
-influence of his Spirit, that he might so apply the blood of Christ, as
-to "purge it from dead works, to serve the living God." I now saw that
-deliverance from sin itself, was a part of the salvation of Christ: and
-I was led to trust in him for sanctification, as well as for
-righteousness and redemption. I now understood clearly what had puzzled
-me, when I read the book on Contentment, in Athlone. I was no longer at
-a loss to understand what it was to be willing to do all things for
-Christ, and to be willing to _deny_ all things for Christ. I saw that
-Christ is his people's strength; that the power which enables them to
-perform duty, to resist temptation, and to overcome their spiritual
-enemies, is wholly derived from him; that therefore when they conquer
-their enemies, and bring forth the fruits of righteousness, the glory of
-the conquest belongs to him through whose strength they have been
-performed. I therefore esteem it my high privilege as well as duty, to
-"count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ
-Jesus my Lord;" for whom I trust I have, in a measure, been made willing
-to "suffer the loss of all things, and to count them but dung, that I
-may win Christ, and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness
-which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the
-righteousness which is of God by faith." Phil. iii. 9, 10.
-
-My next concern was, about the question,--What is the proper form of
-church government?--I had been made a little acquainted with the claims
-of Episcopacy, and they perplexed me a good deal. Upon the general
-question, my stock of information was small. This much I knew, that all
-parties referred a good deal to the Acts of the Apostles, for proofs of
-their respective opinions; and, as Mr. Ewing had commenced a course of
-lectures upon that book, I hoped to obtain such information, as should
-enable me to come to a determination in my own mind. I continued to hear
-him with a good deal of interest, until he had gone through the
-fifteenth chapter. I then embraced his opinions on that subject; and,
-feeling the want of Christian fellowship, I determined to make present
-conviction the rule of present duty; and seeing that it was the will of
-Christ that his people should be united together in fellowship, I
-resolved to apply to Mr. Ewing, for admission to the church under his
-care. Being at a loss from my ignorance of the mode of application, and
-entire want of acquaintance with any of the members of his church, I
-wrote him a letter. This introduced me to a conversation, with which he
-was satisfied, and my case was to be mentioned to the church at their
-next meeting. I had no sooner returned home, however, than the words of
-Jesus, John iv. 36. "And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth
-fruit unto life eternal; that both he that soweth and he that reapeth
-may rejoice together," occurred to my mind.--This led me to remember
-you, my dear Sir, through whom I had received the knowledge of the
-truth, and to consider whether there was not a propriety, if not a duty,
-rather to apply to the church under your care, for admission, than to
-Mr. Ewing's. I determined to consider this point, and wrote to Mr.
-Ewing, requesting him to delay mentioning my case to his church, as
-something had occurred to my mind, which it appeared to be my duty
-previously to consider, but as soon as I should come to a determination
-I should let him know. I then attended your preaching, to see whether it
-would be as beneficial to me as Mr. Ewing's. You were then lecturing in
-the forenoons through the 1st Epistle of John. As I was but a babe in
-Christ, doctrinal subjects were what I stood most in need of. I found
-myself edified by your discourses, and I felt an increasing attachment
-to you as my spiritual father; and, as we were of one mind on matters of
-church order, it appeared clearly to be my duty to seek for admission
-into your church. Every tie of spiritual affection seemed to require it.
-You had, through the blessing of the great Head of the church, sowed to
-me the words of eternal life: I, through his blessing, had reaped them;
-and, as there was no obstacle betwixt us, love said it was most proper,
-that he that sowed and he that reaped should rejoice together; for where
-should a convert to the truth seek to be, but under the care of the
-instrument that converted him? There must be a peculiarity of affection,
-betwixt a spiritual father and his children, beyond that of others
-placed under his care and instruction. This peculiar affection had now
-begun to operate in my mind; for at first I had been so much taken up
-with the discovery of the truth itself, that I had paid little attention
-to the instruments who preached it; but I now found leisure to give them
-a place, in their various degrees, in my affections, without losing any
-regard for the truth, or for its great Author and object, Jesus Christ,
-the Chief Shepherd of the sheep. In order therefore to strengthen your
-hands in the work of an under shepherd, as well as for my own benefit, I
-drew up a summary narrative of my life and experience, and of the way in
-which it had pleased the Lord to lead me to a knowledge of his precious
-truth, and sent it to Mr. Ewing, with the reasons why I thought it my
-duty to apply for admission to your church. These reasons Mr. Ewing
-approved of; he gave you that narrative to introduce me to you; and I
-was soon favoured with being admitted under your pastoral care. The
-narrative is now greatly enlarged; but before bringing it to a close I
-wish to make a few general remarks.
-
-I would begin with stating, that the belief of that doctrine which gave
-peace to my troubled conscience, gave also a degree of stability to my
-conduct, such as I had never before been able, with my utmost efforts,
-to attain. Not but that I have still to lament, that sin dwells in me;
-but, by the grace of God, it does not reign over me, as formerly; and
-the less I think of myself, and the lower I estimate my own strength,
-and the more I trust to the gracious promise of imparted strength, from
-the compassionate and all powerful Redeemer, the stronger I am. Whilst I
-rejoice in the possession of the new man, I have still to mourn the
-existence of the old; I find in my experience increasing evidence of the
-deceitfulness and desperate wickedness of the heart, and see increasing
-reason to be vile in my own eyes, and to pray continually "God be
-merciful to me a sinner," but I trust in his grace, that he will "fulfil
-in me all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with
-power," and "preserve me by his power, through faith unto salvation,"
-enabling me to maintain the war of the spirit against the flesh, until I
-get a complete and eternal victory.
-
-And here I must express my gratitude to God, for the benefit of
-Christian fellowship, and of pastoral care and instructions. It is now
-about sixteen years since I first heard you preach, and became a member
-of the church under your ministry. We have had our trials, to exercise
-our forbearance and patience; but we have also had our comforts. I still
-love the brethren, and while I say, "Grace be to all them who love our
-Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity," I wish for no other fellowship; and
-while I love all who preach Christ crucified, as the only ground of a
-sinner's acceptance with a holy God, yet I desire no other teacher than
-he who first turned my wandering feet into the way that leadeth to life.
-Your instructions and warnings have, I trust, enabled me to keep in that
-way with my face Zionward. May the Lord grant, that we may continue to
-walk together, and be, in our respective stations, comforts to each
-other on the road, until we arrive at the heavenly Jerusalem;--and there
-may I be one of those, who shall be to you, "a crown of joy and
-rejoicing in the presence of the Lord!" There may we rejoice together,
-in the rich mercy of the great Redeemer, and give him all the praise,
-for converting and preserving grace, both in the convert and in him who
-was the instrument of his conversion; and may you have many more in whom
-to rejoice, besides the subject of this narrative! I thank God for the
-success with which he has been pleased to bless your labours. There are
-not a few, who now sit under your ministry, who have received the
-knowledge of the truth by means of your preaching; and others, I
-believe, have joined the church above. May the Lord grant you increasing
-success in turning sinners to God, and in edifying saints; may he bless
-the labours of all his servants and people; and may his own word have
-free course and be glorified, by the overturning of the kingdom of sin
-and of Satan in the world; and may the "kingdoms of this world soon
-become the kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ." Amen.
-
- I remain, Dear Pastor,
- Your Affectionate Son
- In the Faith of the Gospel,
- G. B.
-
- _GLASGOW, January, 1819._
- To the Rev. RALPH WARDLAW.
-
-Footnote 33:
-
- The short duration of the peace, however, prevented the fulfilment of
- it.
-
-Footnote 34:
-
- Then assistant to Mr. Ewing; now minister of the congregation in Crown
- Court, London.
-
-
-
-
- POSTSCRIPT.
-
-
-Having now finished my narrative, may I take the liberty of adding a few
-reflections, with a view to direct the minds of those who may read it,
-to the lessons I should wish them to learn from it.
-
-There are two things which are conspicuous in it; the first is, a
-sinner's _weakness_; the second is, a sinner's _blindness_.--It shows
-how long and how often I attempted to cleanse my own heart. I made the
-effort under all the variety of circumstances I have mentioned, but all
-in vain. I acted under all the motives I could collect from a sense of
-the glory, goodness, justice, and general mercy of God, as displayed in
-the works of creation and providence; and also from what I had learned
-from the Bible of the requirements of the moral law, which was often
-like a fire in my conscience; and from a fear of hell and eternal
-judgment, and a desire of heaven and eternal life; and from a sense of
-mercy to myself in being so often protected when in imminent danger,
-delivered out of trouble, and brought back from the very jaws of death
-in answer to my prayers for mercy:--yet all these put together were
-insufficient to keep me from breaking the commandments of God, and being
-guilty of what I condemned in my own conscience.--And thus it will be
-with every sinner, that sets himself to perform the same task. I do not
-refer to my experience, as an exclusive proof of this; but I refer to it
-as an instance of the truth of God's word, which declares that sinners
-are "_without strength._" Rom. v. 6. Let any sinner undertake the same
-task, and I can assure him from the word of God, that he will come no
-better speed. He may attempt it again and again; but every new attempt
-will only show his weakness and blindness; and, as he proceeds, he will
-find that he was not aware of the ten thousandth part of the extent and
-difficulty of the task. If he persevere in it, he will find it
-necessary, after endeavouring to reform his outward conduct, to look
-_within_, and there he will discover work he was not at first aware of.
-He will find it absolutely indispensable to watch over his _heart_ if he
-means to reform external conduct: for it is the heart that first yields
-to temptation. And, let his resolutions be ever so strong, and his
-intentions ever so sincere, he will find that the slightest temptations
-are sufficient to overcome him. Nor will he be in danger from outward
-temptations only; for although he were in the retirement of a hermit,
-and totally secluded from the world, he would find temptations to sin
-rising spontaneously out of _that very heart_ which had formed the
-resolution not to commit it; he would find himself led like a captive to
-the commission of it, and that in the face of the clear light of duty,
-and in spite of the strongest remonstrances of conscience; thus giving
-him the most convincing evidence, if he had eyes to see it, that "the
-heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;" (Jer.
-xvii. 9.) that "he that committeth sin is the servant (or slave) of
-sin;" (John viii. 34,) and that "he that trusteth in his own heart is a
-fool." (Prov. xxviii. 26.) So long, however, as a sinner has any
-confidence in his own strength, he will not renounce it, in order to
-depend upon strength to be imparted from another. So long as he fancies
-any merit in his own works, he will trust to them to procure his Maker's
-favour. But in this he only shows his blindness. O that I could convince
-any into whose hands this narrative may fall, to renounce, as entirely
-hopeless, all such efforts; and also as entirely worthless, all such
-attempted reformations; and to flee to the all-mighty and
-all-meritorious Redeemer! You need his perfect righteousness to justify
-you, and his blood to atone for your sins; you need the gracious
-influences of his Spirit to purify your hearts, and to give you strength
-to walk in the ways of God; for the motive to obedience that alone can
-enable you to walk with steadfastness and consistency, arises out of the
-belief of the love of Christ, in giving himself a ransom for the guilty.
-The belief of this will inspire you with love to him in return; and
-this, and this alone, will set your souls at liberty from the slavery of
-sin. It is to those who believe the love that he manifested in freely
-giving himself a sacrifice for them, that he imparts strength to resist
-temptation; and he warns all his disciples, that "without him they can
-do nothing." He has promised his grace as sufficient for them that trust
-in him in the most trying situations, and to perfect his strength in
-their weakness:--nor is this an empty promise; for he, to whom it was
-more immediately addressed, declared, that "he could do all things
-through Christ who strengthened him;" and the way in which he obtained
-the power was, by being conscious of his own weakness, and trusting
-entirely to the promised strength of the Saviour; "for," says he, "_when
-I am weak then am I strong._" 2 Cor. xii. 7-10, with Phil. iv. 13--Go
-you and do as he did; and you will find that Christ will be the same to
-you that he was to him, for the Saviour is unchangeable; "the same
-yesterday, and to day, and for ever." Heb. xiii. 8.
-
-I have been minute in detailing the exercises of my mind, much more so
-than some may think there is need for. I have been induced to this in
-order to show how long and how strenuously a sinner may go on in that
-course, although his efforts are constantly failing; and fail they must,
-so long as his hopes terminate on himself, and so long as he refuses to
-put his entire confidence in the Saviour. He may give over the task in
-despair, and sink into carelessness and indifference; but if, whilst he
-finds his hopes of himself fruitless, he is still convinced of the
-importance and necessity of the salvation of his soul, and feels that he
-is one ready to perish; then the news of a Saviour will be glad tidings
-to him indeed; and with the death of his legal hopes a life of
-evangelical obedience will commence. I have been induced to be minute,
-from a desire to show to others the folly of continuing to labour in the
-fire, as I did, for very vanity; and that they may see the necessity of
-fleeing directly to the Saviour. If you are saved at all you _must_ do
-this at the last; and why not to-day as well as to-morrow, or any future
-period? Jesus says, "To-day if ye will hear my voice, harden not your
-hearts:" he says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,
-and I will give you rest." And why will ye not hear his voice, and
-accept of his invitation to-day? If you reject him to-day, you may not
-live till to-morrow. All the offers of the gospel are _present_ offers;
-there is no promise respecting to-morrow. Jesus is as able to-day as
-to-morrow. He offers himself to-day. His salvation is a present
-salvation. "Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of
-salvation."
-
-If any read this narrative who are putting off the concerns of their
-immortal souls to a death-bed, and are deluding themselves with the
-notion, that the distress of a sick-bed and the fear of death will break
-the power of sin in their hearts, and that they will then repent and
-believe; while you think this, you show that you do not know what
-repentance and faith are; for, did you know what they are, you would
-already have repented and believed. You can not know them until you are
-in actual possession of them. Your conduct is, therefore, ignorant and
-presumptuous. Faith and repentance are present duties; and if you will
-not repent of your sins _now_, and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ for
-salvation, what security have you that you will do so hereafter? you may
-be brought to a sick-bed; and there the approach of death, and the fear
-of hell, and remorse of conscience, arising out of convictions of sin,
-may greatly alarm you; but this will not change your heart, nor save
-your soul. Such a state of mind is neither repentance nor conversion.
-How often was I in danger, and imagined I repented; and, when I was at
-the point of death, I thought I had repented in truth. But my conduct
-after I had recovered showed that I had deceived myself; and had I died
-in the state I then was in, I must have perished. When you are laid on a
-sick-bed, you may find that you have no hope of heaven if you die at
-present; you may wish to recover, that you may change your conduct; you
-may cry to God to spare you; but he may not hear you; and when you see
-that death is actually approaching, you may be driven to despair, and
-die without hope: or, in order to calm a troubled conscience, you may
-persuade yourselves, that you have repented, and that, as you are not
-allowed to live, God will accept of the sincerity of your repentance;
-and you may thus "go down to the grave with a lie in your right hand."
-But if you despise the offer of a Saviour now, and put off these things
-to a death-bed, which many never see, but are called suddenly out of the
-world, the probability is, that when you are actually laid upon it,
-however old you may be, and however evident the approach of your latter
-end may be to all who see you, you will not think you are going to die
-_yet_, but will still indulge the hope of longer life;--until death lays
-his cold hand on your heart, and closes your eyes for ever on a present
-world.
-
-Should this narrative fall into the hands of any who are in the army, I
-would earnestly entreat them to lay the contents of it seriously to
-heart, and to beware of the delusive idea that it is not needful to be
-religious in the army. Although you are soldiers, you are still surely
-under the government of your Creator. Your being in the army will not
-excuse the sins you commit in it. There is no article of war that
-commands you to swear, or to get drunk, or to be guilty of uncleanness,
-or any other sin. There is no order that prohibits you from repenting of
-your sins, and believing on the Lord Jesus Christ for the salvation of
-your invaluable souls, and living a life of faith upon the Son of God;
-so that you are without excuse. Your being in the army does not give you
-a greater security of long life to be an excuse for delay. On the
-contrary, _you_, above all men, ought to secure the salvation of your
-immortal souls. And blessed be God, that salvation is offered as freely
-to you as to others. Jesus, the King of kings, offers you his free and
-unmerited favour, in the same way that he does to others; and makes you
-as welcome. Your souls are as precious to him, as those of any of the
-human race: so that you are without excuse. Beware of another
-delusion;--that the army is a place in which it is impossible to live a
-godly life. This is not true. However hard it is, yet it _is_ possible,
-and has been done. If indeed you attempt to live a godly life in your
-own strength, as I did, you will fail; but remember, so would you in any
-situation in which you could be placed. But if you believe in the Lord
-Jesus, and take him for "righteousness and _strength_," he will fulfil
-to you his promise, that "as your day is, so shall your strength be."
-Remember that the way that leadeth to eternal life is a narrow way to
-all; and that the same grace which enables others to travel that narrow
-way is sufficient to enable you to travel it also; and that the same
-power which brings others safely through, is able to carry you also in
-safety to the end of the journey. Remember that it is the power of God
-and not of man that enables _any_ to persevere unto the end; and will
-you say that it is not in the power of the Almighty to enable a soldier
-to serve him in the army, and to lead a Christian life in it? The idea
-is blasphemous; it is a delusion of Satan; and it is an unjust charge
-upon the army, bad as it is, and one of the greatest obstacles, if not
-the very greatest, to its moral improvement; for it goes to prevent the
-very attempt at improvement, as utterly hopeless, and consequently to
-leave the individuals who compose it to be confirmed in all their evil
-habits. If any soldier read this, let me beseech him to lay seriously to
-heart the immense value of his soul, and to believe in the grace and
-power of a Redeemer, and, although there should not be one godly person
-in his regiment, let him not be afraid to believe in Jesus, and to
-regulate his conduct by his word. Do not be afraid of the mocking of
-your comrades: it is indeed not easy to bear; but if you really trust in
-Christ, he will enable you to live down their reproaches by a consistent
-and steady course of life. _Their_ reproaches are not to be put in
-comparison with _his_ smiles; and if the King of kings smiles upon you,
-what need you care who frowns? It will become you rather to pity, than
-to be offended at them. Seek, by constant prayer, for that prudence and
-wisdom which will enable you so to act as to put to silence their
-foolish scoffings; and, if you persevere, you will extort from them so
-much commendation as will repay you for all the reproaches you have
-borne, or may still be subject to. But let your faith be constant and
-your practice persevering. Do not take up religion by fits and starts.
-Those who do so show that they have not yet understood what it is.
-Unless your repentance be that of the Bible, and your faith in Jesus
-genuine, arising from a scriptural understanding of your own character
-as a guilty and helpless sinner in the sight of God, and a scriptural
-discernment of the rich grace and almighty power of Christ, you will not
-be able to stand: for the army is not a place for hypocrites,
-formalists, and self-righteous professors, to prosper in. The
-professions of such will generally vanish like smoke. The genuine
-believer in Jesus alone is able to abide the trial; and he stands,
-because he is upheld by the power of God through faith unto salvation.
-Therefore, let no soldier neglect his salvation, through fear that the
-temptations of the army will be too much for him. Great as they are, if
-he trusts in Christ, he shall be made "more than a conqueror through him
-that loved him;" and the more he can get his comrades to attend to the
-same things, the temptations will diminish. And the more the religion of
-Jesus prevails in the army, and the greater the number of genuine
-disciples are in it, the greater improvement will be made in its
-character, efficiency, and comfort.
-
-I rejoice that the army is beginning to be more attended to of late, in
-a religious point of view. I rejoice to see Bible Societies in operation
-for the benefit of the army and navy; and wish them an increasing
-measure of success. The attention of the religious world has not yet
-been sufficiently drawn to the importance of the object. I hope that the
-stimulus that has been put in motion will continue to increase, and that
-a succession of prudent measures will be adopted for the promotion of
-the fear of God in the army and navy. The same means that are effectual
-for the attainment of this great object amongst the other classes of
-mankind will be effectual here. And what a blessing would it be to the
-army and navy, were the fear of God their prevailing character! How
-would it promote subordination, peace, sobriety, and chastity, and, in
-so doing, prevent the frequency and necessity of punishments and
-rigorous regulations, and the prevalence of those diseases which break
-the constitutions of such numbers, renders them non-effectives, and
-sends so many of them to an early grave!--And how much benefit would
-instantly accrue to society, in the reduction of the contamination of
-profanity, intemperance, and lewdness! How many female characters would
-be preserved, and the consequent grief of parents prevented! How much of
-the evil of prostitution would it reduce, which is so dangerous to youth
-in sea-port towns, and large cities! If my feeble voice could be heard,
-I would add it to that of those who have already appeared as advocates
-of this cause, in supplicating British Christians to prosecute this
-object with prudent but vigorous perseverance. I rejoice to see a
-floating chapel provided upon the Thames for the instruction of seamen.
-This, I hope, will be followed by similar measures wherever they are
-necessary. The wisdom that devised this, is competent to devise all that
-is wanting for the prosecution of this great cause, throughout the army
-and navy. And the same motives are sufficient to carry those embarked in
-it forward with zeal until the fear of God finally triumph. And its
-triumph in the army and navy will remove one of the obstacles to its
-prevalence in the world. And who knows but that genuine piety may not
-only prevail but even shine most conspicuously in the army and navy, and
-that the _last_ may become _first_.
-
-G. B.
-
-THE END.
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber's Notes:
-
-Archaic and colloquial spelling and punctuation was retained.
-
-Missing or obscured punctuation was corrected.
-
-Footnotes have been collected at the end of the text, and are linked for
-ease of reference. Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores
-(_italics_).
-
-Footnotes have been moved to follow the chapters in which they are
-referenced.
-
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Narrative of a Private Soldier in His Majesty's 92d Regiment of Foot, by George Billany</p>
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Narrative of a Private Soldier in His Majesty's 92d Regiment of Foot</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: George Billany</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Commentator: Ralph Wardlaw</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: December 21, 2021 [eBook #66990]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: David King and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net. (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive.)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NARRATIVE OF A PRIVATE SOLDIER IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92D REGIMENT OF FOOT ***</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/cover.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c000' />
-</div>
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'>Narrative of a Private Soldier in His Majesty's 92d Regiment of Foot</h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='xxlarge'><b>NARRATIVE OF A PRIVATE SOLDIER IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92D REGIMENT OF FOOT.</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xxlarge'><b>WRITTEN BY GEORGE BILLANY.</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='large'><b>DETAILING</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='large'><b>MANY CIRCUMSTANCES RELATIVE TO THE INSURRECTION IN</b></span></div>
- <div><span class='large'><b>IRELAND IN 1798; THE EXPEDITION TO HOLLAND IN</b></span></div>
- <div><span class='large'><b>1799; AND THE EXPEDITION TO EGYPT IN 1801;</b></span></div>
- <div><span class='large'><b>AND GIVING A PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF</b></span></div>
- <div><span class='large'><b>HIS RELIGIOUS HISTORY AND EXPERIENCE.</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='large'><b>WITH A PREFACE</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'><b>BY THE REV. RALPH WARDLAW, D. D.</b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='large'><b><i>First American edition.</i></b></span></div>
- <div class='c000'>PHILADELPHIA:</div>
- <div class='c000'>PUBLISHED FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE UNITED FOREIGN</div>
- <div>MISSIONARY SOCIETY.</div>
- <div class='c000'>1822.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c003'>PREFACE.</h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>Long prefaces to Narratives have seldom, I believe,
-the honour of being read through. If the
-Narrative possess interest, a tedious recommendation
-only detains the reader from his enjoyment;
-and if it possess none, it aggravates his disappointment.&mdash;I
-shall, therefore, be very brief.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The subject of the following Memoir has been
-connected with the church under my pastoral care,
-nearly since its formation, in the year 1803:&mdash;and,
-from this, as well as from a circumstance in
-his religious history, which the reader will discover
-towards the close of the narrative, it may
-perhaps be thought, that my recommendations are,
-in some degree, dictated by feelings of partiality.
-I hope I shall never be so dead to Christian sensibility,
-as to feel nothing of the peculiar interest
-which the circumstance alluded to, is fitted to produce.
-Yet I may say with truth, that the very consciousness
-of this interest has made me the more
-jealous and scrupulous in giving the advice to
-publish; an advice which I never should have
-given, unless from a sincere conviction, that the
-Narrative is fitted both to please and to profit; to
-gratify curiosity, and, through the blessing of God,
-to impart instruction and spiritual benefit.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The remarks of a private in the ranks, when he
-is a man of any shrewdness and observation, on
-the incidents that come within his notice, in the
-campaigns in which he is engaged, have in them a
-particular interest.&mdash;Whilst we are pleased with
-the degree of intelligence which they discover, we
-at the same time feel a satisfying confidence, that
-they contain 'a plain unvarnished tale;' unaffected
-by any temptation, either 'in aught to extenuate,'
-or 'to set down aught in malice.'</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The <i>religious experience</i> of the writer, I consider
-as especially instructive.&mdash;It sets before us, I
-believe, in honest simplicity, the workings of a
-sensible and thoughtful mind, and of a conscience,
-which had never entirely lost its early impressions;&mdash;the
-convictions, and distresses, and reasonings,&mdash;the
-self-righteous and self confident resolutions,
-and the necessary failures and inconsistencies,
-of an awakened but unrenewed state;&mdash;the
-natural reluctance of man to part with <i>self</i>, to plead
-guilty, and to depend on grace; and yet the entire
-inefficacy of every thing but this grace either to
-impart satisfactory and steadfast peace to the conscience,
-or to produce in the heart a principle of
-vigorous and cheerful, consistent and persevering
-obedience.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Of this grace, although, like every other good
-thing, it has been too often perverted and abused
-by the self-deceiver and the hypocrite, the native
-tendency is, to "teach" all who receive it, to
-"deny ungodliness, and worldly desires, and to
-live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present
-world,"&mdash;I feel the delicacy of saying any
-thing in praise of one, whose living eye the commendation
-is to meet, and who is still, like all
-others, the subject of remaining corruption, and in
-danger of injury from its evil propensities; yet, as
-it is not <i>himself</i> I commend, but the <i>grace</i> that has
-made him what he is, and to which he owns himself
-an entire and humble debtor, I feel at liberty
-to say, that the subject of the following Narrative,
-since he was led to embrace the doctrine of the
-cross, has been enabled,&mdash;amidst imperfections
-and failures no doubt, of which he himself has
-been much more sensible than others have been
-observant,&mdash;to "walk in newness of life," and to
-show, that "the gospel of the grace of God" has
-been "the power of God unto salvation," when
-every thing else had failed, and had led only to
-despair.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>With the exception of occasional corrections in
-the use of words and in the structure of sentences,
-unavoidable in revising for the press the manuscript
-of one unaccustomed to composition, the <i>style</i> is
-the writer's own; the work, throughout, having
-been printed from his autograph, without transcription:&mdash;and
-I pledge my word to the reader,
-that a single additional <i>sentiment</i> has not been introduced.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I commend the little volume to the candour of
-the reader, and to the blessing of God;&mdash;not without
-a pleasing hope, that while it may benefit, in a
-temporal view, the family of one, whose wound received
-in the service of his country, confined him
-again, even very recently, from his daily occupation,
-for nearly four months; it may, at the same
-time, produce higher and more valuable effects, in
-the instruction, admonition, and salvation, of those
-who peruse it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>RALPH WARDLAW.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'><i>GLASGOW, June <abbr title='fourteenth'>14th</abbr>, 1819.</i></p>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c003'>ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION.</h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>The very kind reception which the public have
-given to the first edition, has encouraged the Author
-to improve and enlarge the second. The
-additions chiefly consist of a more detailed and
-combined account of the Insurrection in Ireland,
-and the Expeditions to Holland and Egypt. These
-additions, he hopes, will make the reading of the
-Narrative more pleasant, particularly to young persons.
-He has divided it into chapters, and inserted
-the number of the regiment he served in; but his
-name can be of no consequence to the reader.</p>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c003'>CONTENTS.</h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap1'>CHAPTER <abbr title='one'>I.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Cause and design of writing the Narrative. Author attends
-the Sabbath School of Dr. Balfour in Glasgow, in
-1790. Enlists into the <abbr title='ninety-second'>92d</abbr> foot, in 1796, and joins the
-regiment in Gibraltar in 1797. Behaviour while there.
-Returns to England in 1798.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap2'>CHAPTER <abbr title='two'>II.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Regiment lands at Dublin, in June, 1798. State of that city
-during the insurrection. Conveyed in coaches to Arklow.
-Surprises the insurgents on the White Heaps, <abbr title='fifth'>5th</abbr>
-July. Particulars of the pursuit and arrival at Gorey.
-Instances of the ferocity of civil war. Kind behaviour of
-the regiment to the inhabitants. Deserted state of Gorey,
-where the Author is much in want of provisions.
-Distressing state of the surrounding country. March to
-Blessington, and join the brigade of Sir John Moore, and
-encamp in the glen of Eimal. Orders against swearing.
-State of the insurgents in the Wicklow Mountains.
-March to oppose the French who had landed at Killala.
-Lie in Athlone during the winter. The Author's religious
-experience while there. March to Cork, and
-embark for England, June, 1799.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap3'>CHAPTER <abbr title='three'>III.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Join the expedition under Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Abercrombie, and sail
-for Holland, <abbr title='sixth'>6th</abbr> August. Land near the Helder on the
-<abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr>. Action among the sand-hills, and capture of Helder.
-Surrender of the Dutch fleet. Advance to the
-long dyke; with a description of it, and the surrounding
-country. Dutch method of churning butter. Action on
-the long dyke, <abbr title='tenth'>10th</abbr> Sept. Repulse of the Duke of
-York and the Russians on the <abbr title='nineteenth'>19th</abbr>. Action on the <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr>
-October, near Egmont. Lord Huntly wounded. Sir <abbr class='spell'>J.</abbr>
-Moore wounded. Singular action of cavalry. Spectacle
-of the dead, and severe loss of the regiment. Singular
-death of a Highlander and Frenchman. March
-to Alkmaar. Action of the <abbr title='sixth'>6th</abbr>. Author escorts prisoners
-on the <abbr title='seventh'>7th</abbr>. Army retreats to the long dyke on
-the <abbr title='eighth'>8th</abbr>. Armistice and convention for leaving Holland.
-Author takes the ague. Regiment arrives in England,
-and goes into Chelmsford Barracks. Religious experience
-of the Author while there.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap4'>CHAPTER <abbr title='fourth'>IV.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Regiment embarks at Cowes on board the Diadem, 64, and
-Inconstant frigate, <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr> May, 1800; and sails for the
-coast of France. Anchors at the Isle of Houet, <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> June.
-Singular occurrence on the <abbr title='fourth'>4th</abbr>. Intended attack on Belleisle.
-Religious seamen on board the Terrible, 74.
-Sails for the Mediterranean. Arrival at Minorca on the
-<abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr> July. Regiment leaves Minorca on board the Stately,
-64. Intended attack upon Cadiz, 6th October.&mdash;Dangerous
-storm in Tetuan bay. Touches at Minorca
-and Malta. The fleet anchors in Marmorice Bay, preparatory
-to landing in Egypt. Some account of that
-bay and the surrounding country. Author's state of
-mind during the passage. He is seized with an infectious
-fever. His religious experience during his sickness,
-and after his recovery. Sails for Egypt. Objection
-against the truth of the Scriptures.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap5'>CHAPTER <abbr title='fifth'>V.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Account of the landing in Egypt, <abbr title='eighth'>8th</abbr> March, 1801. Author
-seized with night-blindness. Action of the <abbr title='thirteenth'>13th</abbr>.
-Scarcity of water. Account of the position of the army
-and Pompey's Pillar and Cleopatra's Needles. Battle
-of the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr>, at which the Author is wounded and sent on
-board an hospital ship. Condition and behaviour of the
-wounded. Author removed to an hospital at Aboukir.
-Lord Hutchison goes with a part of the army to Cairo.
-Author's wound gets worse. Troublesomeness of flies
-and vermin. Sirocco, or hot wind, and rapid increase
-of the plague. Account of several interesting cases.
-Behaviour of the wounded in Aboukir hospital, and the
-Author's religious experience.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap6'>CHAPTER <abbr title='six'>VI.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Author embarks for Rosetta. Dangerous passage of the
-bar at the mouth of the Nile. Rosetta hospital. Author
-dangerously ill. Death of his comrade, &amp;c. Inundation
-of the Nile. Skin bottles. Surrender of Alexandria.
-Dress of the Sepoys and Egyptian peasants.
-Manner of eating their meals. Mahomedan mosques.
-Gun fired at mid-day in Cairo by the rays of the sun.
-Explosion of a powder chest kills several of the 13th
-foot. Remarks on the state of mind in which many died.
-Produce and manner of cultivating the Delta. Immense
-heaps of grain. Wretchedness of the peasantry. Extracts
-from Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson and Dr. Clarke, on the diseases
-and plagues of Egypt. The unavoidable evils of War.
-Author leaves Rosetta, and sails for England.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#chap7'>CHAPTER <abbr title='seven'>VII.</abbr></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Arrival at Cork. Marches to Kilkenny. Proceeds to London
-and admitted an out-pensioner of Chelsea. Arrives
-in Glasgow. Retrospect of his military life. Distressing
-state of mind. Obtains peace of conscience by
-hearing the gospel in Albion-street Chapel, and joins
-the church under the care of Dr. Wardlaw.</p>
-<p class='c004'><a href='#postscript'>POSTSCRIPT.</a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Consists of an Address to readers in general, and to those
-in the army in particular, of what the Author wishes
-them to learn from the Narrative.</p>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap1' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='one'>I.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'><span class='sc'>Dear Pastor</span>,</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I shall now, according to the best of my
-ability, attempt to gratify the wish you several
-years since expressed, that I would arrange into one
-connected narrative, the various particulars I then
-communicated to you, of my previous life, and the
-exercises of my mind; its various workings, and
-conflicts, until the period when I was brought to
-the knowledge of Jesus, as the only and all-sufficient
-Saviour.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>In drawing up this account of myself, my motive
-is, to record the loving-kindness of the Lord
-to me a sinner; and if you deem it proper to be
-brought before the public in any shape, the only
-object I would have in view, is the good of my fellow
-sinners, particularly such as have been, or are,
-in situations of life, similar to those I have been
-in, or have experienced similar exercises of mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Into the minutia of my early life, I do not intend
-to enter; and I would make this general remark
-in the outset, that my chief object is, to give
-a history of the workings of my mind, during the
-past part of my life, rather than the particulars of
-my life itself; but I shall narrate as much of these
-particulars as is necessary to account for, and illustrate,
-the history of my mind. I will also notice,
-briefly, such other things as may serve to
-entertain or inform the reader.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I was born in Glasgow, in the year 1779.&mdash;When
-I was very young, the belief of the omniscience
-of God, was frequently strongly impressed
-upon my mind, and the thought of his all-seeing
-eye, often checked my conscience and restrained
-me during early life, from gratifying my own inclinations,
-to the extent I otherwise would have
-done. I pretty early learned to read; and as I
-grew older I became increasingly fond of it, even
-indeed to excess. I read whatever came in my
-way; but the Psalms of David in metre, in use by
-the church of Scotland, and the Bible, being the
-first books in which I learned to read, and having
-the benefit of godly instruction and example at
-home, religious knowledge was that with which I
-was most acquainted. When I was about eleven
-years of age, I went to the Sabbath school, belonging
-to the Outer High Church parish, Glasgow,
-then taught by Mr. Begg, (now minister of New
-Monkland parish,) and superintended by the parish
-minister, the late <abbr title='reverend'>Rev.</abbr> Dr. Balfour. The chief
-exercises of the school were, reading the Scriptures,
-and repeating the Assembly's Shorter Catechism.
-Dr. Balfour frequently visited the school,
-after the afternoon's service was over, and staid
-sometimes an hour, and sometimes even to the
-conclusion at six o'clock. When the Catechism
-was repeated, he interrogated us on the meaning of
-the questions, and instructed us in their import.
-He questioned us upon the sermons we had been
-hearing, and gave us doctrines to prove from scripture,
-by collecting all the passages, that we thought
-contained these doctrines. The doctrines were
-the fundamental articles of the Christian religion;
-and as we read the passages, he would tell us
-when they were in point, and when not. I was
-an adept at repeating the Catechism; but as I had
-no margin Bible to point out the references, I had
-to range through the whole scriptures, and exercise
-my judgment, which of course was sometimes
-right, and sometimes wrong. When I was shown
-that I had brought forward a passage that did not
-apply, it made me think better next time; the passages
-I found out I remembered where to find
-again; and those that were brought forward by
-others, I added to my own stock. This was an
-exercise that did me more good, than all the other
-exercises of the school: for, in after life, when I
-had forgotten the Catechism, and the other things
-I had committed to memory, I did not forget how
-to find in the Bible, those passages I had formerly
-known; and if I happened to be reading the Bible,
-and came to any of those passages that had been
-read in the school, it awakened in my mind the
-remembrance of what had taken place there. I
-would then recollect something of the impressions
-that had been made at the time on my mind, and
-endeavoured to remember what was said by the
-minister on these occasions; but I shall notice this
-again; in a future part of the narrative. There
-were rewards sometimes given to any who repeated
-chapters, psalms, or hymns. The most remarkable
-instance of this kind that took place
-while I was in the school, was a present by a gentleman,
-of Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion
-in the Soul, and Sermons to Young Persons,<a id='r1' /><a href='#f1' class='c006'><sup>[1]</sup></a>
-to be given as a reward to the boy (it was a school
-for boys only) who repeated best, from memory,
-Dr. Watts' Divine Songs for Children. We received
-copies of the hymns, and a time was fixed
-for the trial. I was very eager to obtain the prize,
-and even made it a matter of prayer. I wished
-to have the book, because I had conceived to myself,
-that it would teach me how to get to heaven.
-When the day of trial came, the minister was not
-present, but we were heard by one of the elders.
-The greater part of the children were very young,
-and most of them had learned only a few of the
-hymns. There were only four that could go any
-length in them, and only three that could go completely
-through them; and their merit was so equal,
-that it could not be said which was best. I was
-one of those three; but as it could not be determined
-who merited the book, it was deferred until
-next Sabbath evening, when it was expected that
-the minister would be present. He came, and we
-repeated the hymns to him with such equal accuracy,
-that he declared he could not give the prize
-to one more than another; and to make us equal,
-he procured other two copies of Doddridge's Rise
-and Progress; but, as he could not find copies of
-his Sermons to Young Persons, he bound in Boston's
-Fourfold State in their place, and I was put
-in possession of one of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I continued in the school about two years.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>In 1796, being about the age of seventeen, I
-enlisted as a soldier in the <abbr title='hundredth'>100th</abbr> regiment of foot,
-or Gordon Highlanders, commanded by the Marquis
-of Huntly,<a id='r2' /><a href='#f2' class='c006'><sup>[2]</sup></a> then lying in the island of Corsica.
-When that island was evacuated by the
-British, the regiment came to Gibraltar, and I,
-along with the rest of the recruits, left Scotland
-and went to Chatham, where we joined other parties
-of recruits belonging to regiments lying in Gibraltar,
-for which place we embarked at Gravesend,
-in <abbr title='November'>Nov.</abbr> 1796. But the convoy with which we
-sailed, was forced, by stormy weather, to take
-shelter in Falmouth for six weeks; after which
-we proceeded to Lisbon, where we lay ten weeks,
-because the Spanish fleet was at sea, and ours
-inferior in number, was watching it. The battle
-of Cape <abbr title='saint'>St.</abbr> Vincent, was fought while we lay there,
-in which the Spanish fleet was defeated, and four
-sail of the line taken, which were sent into Lisbon.
-The British fleet soon followed, except a squadron
-left to watch the Spanish fleet in Cadiz. As soon
-as the fleet had repaired its damages, it set sail
-for Cadiz, and we went along with it for protection.
-We left them when we came off Cadiz, and
-were escorted by some frigates, through the straits
-to Gibraltar, where we landed in the beginning of
-April, 1797, and joined the regiment.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The general character of the army, for the profanation
-of God's holy name, is well known: and
-the temptations a young man has to encounter,
-from the very general practice of this vice, are
-very great. The religious instructions I had received,
-and the knowledge I had of the Scriptures,
-deterred me from acquiring a habit of swearing:
-I frequently reproved my comrades for it; and
-having done so, pride of heart also operated to prevent
-me from swearing myself, lest my comrades
-should, in ridicule, retort my reproofs upon me;
-and this they did not fail to do, if at any time I
-was guilty of an oath, or any thing approaching to
-it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the time I had been a recruit, and the
-time I was in Gibraltar, I neglected the reading of
-the scriptures. In the regiment, I met with a variety
-of characters; amongst others with Deists,
-who attempted to shake my belief of the truth of
-the scriptures. I was greatly disturbed and perplexed
-in my mind by their arguments; but I was
-not drawn into their opinions. Yet I still neglected
-my Bible, and continued gradually losing the
-knowledge of it I formerly had. There was an
-argument, which had a powerful effect upon my
-conscience, and with which I met all the pleas and
-excuses for swearing;&mdash;I argued, that if there was
-no God, it was an absurd thing to swear by the
-name of a being who had no existence: and if
-there were a God, he certainly would punish the
-dishonour done to him, by the profanation of his
-name.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>There was a society of Methodists in Gibraltar,
-chiefly composed of men belonging to the different
-regiments in the garrison. They had a small place,
-where they had stated meetings for prayer and exhortation;
-there were a few of these Methodists in
-our regiment. Shortly after I joined it, the commanding
-officer gave out an order for none of the
-regiment to attend any of their meetings. What
-effect this order had in deterring any from attending
-at the time it was issued, I know not: it had
-not at least a permanent effect, for I know that several
-did attend afterwards, and no notice was
-taken of it. I went to this meeting place only
-once all the time I was in Gibraltar, and I was
-nearly a twelvemonth in the place. This shows
-what a careless state of mind I was in; for I may
-say it was the only religious exercise I was at, all
-that time. There were indeed prayers read to the
-garrison, every Sunday morning on the grand parade,
-when the weather was dry; but the chaplain
-was always at such a distance, that I never heard
-a word he said. There was a chapel at the governor's
-residence, where service was performed
-through the day, but I never was in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I began to fall into company which led me frequently
-to get intoxicated; I did not indeed fall
-into a habit, nor acquire an inclination for intoxicating
-liquors for their own sake; but had the same
-circumstances continued, I have great reason to
-fear, that an appetite for them would have been
-formed, and that I might have turned out a habitual
-drunkard. Gibraltar has, indeed, peculiar
-temptations to produce a habit of drunkenness.
-The wine is cheap; the place is warm; and in
-time of war with Spain, there is very little fresh
-provisions, and what is fresh, is very indifferent.
-There is a great deal of hard labour for the soldiers,
-for part of which they get extra pay: by the
-evening, many of them are fatigued, and actually
-need a refreshment beyond their ordinary provisions;
-but those who need the refreshment, are not
-content to go and get what they require for themselves;
-they often take one or two of their comrades
-with them, and having once sat down in the
-wine-house, they generally sit until either their
-money is exhausted, or their time; (for the moment
-the gun fires for the men to be in their barracks,
-the wine-houses must be emptied and shut,
-until after the new guards are marched away to
-relieve the old ones next morning, that no soldier
-may have it in his power to get drunk before guard
-mounting.) Those who are treated one night,
-treat in their turn those who treated them, when
-they get pay for work.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Many of the barrack-rooms are uncomfortable
-on account of their size, containing sixty or more
-men. This greatly destroys social comfort: for
-one or two individuals can molest all the rest; so
-that select retired conversation can not be enjoyed.
-Any thing of that kind is always ready to be interrupted
-by the vicious and ignorant, who do not
-fail to scoff and gibe at what they do not understand
-or relish themselves. Among so many men
-too, there will always be found some who take a
-malicious pleasure in making their neighbours unhappy.
-This renders the barrack-room quite uncomfortable
-during the evening; which, as the
-greater part are employed at work, or otherwise
-occupied during the day, is the principal time
-when they can be together. This, along with
-other things, induces those who have a little money,
-to spend the evening in the wine-house with
-their more select companions. Different sorts of
-vermin are very plenty in the barracks; and it is
-a common excuse for drinking, that they can not
-get a sound sleep, unless they be half drunk. It
-was customary at that time to settle the men's accounts
-once in two months; and, as very little pay
-was given to the soldiers over their rations during
-the intervals, the greater part had a considerable
-sum to receive: and then drinking was so very
-common, that to prevent a multiplicity of punishments,
-it was found necessary to have no parade,
-excepting those for guard, in order that the money
-might be the sooner done; and the different regiments
-in the garrison, had to take different days to
-settle their men's accounts, that the garrison might
-not be involved in one general state of intoxication
-at the same time. But I hear that matters are
-differently managed now; the men are oftener settled
-with, and get a larger proportion of their pay
-weekly, which prevents them from having so much
-money to receive at once. The most comfortable
-time I had, was when I was upon guard. There
-are many very retired guard stations; some of them
-in elevated situations, on the very summit of the
-rock, 1300 feet above the level of the sea, from
-which the view is truly grand, and where a fine
-opportunity is afforded for meditation. I sometimes
-took my Bible to guard with me, but I never
-made much use of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We left Gibraltar, and embarked for England
-in the beginning of March, and landed at Portsmouth,
-<abbr title='eighteenth'>18th</abbr> May, 1798, and went into Hilsea
-barracks. During the voyage I read something
-more in my Bible, but much more still in any
-other book I could find; sometimes it was a novel,
-sometimes a history or play: sometimes it was a
-book of a religious cast; but this was rare: I read
-any thing I could get, to the neglect of the Bible.</p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f1'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r1'>1</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>I have learned since the publication of the first edition,
-that these Books were the gift of Mr. Auchincloss, a gentleman
-who took a very lively interest in the Sabbath
-schools. He was constantly employed in visiting them, and
-in giving rewards of various kinds to those who behaved
-well, and repeated, from memory, psalms or chapters.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f2'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r2'>2</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The number of the regiment was afterwards changed
-to the <abbr title='ninety-second'>92d</abbr>, which is the number of it at present.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap2' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='two'>II.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>We embarked in the beginning of June for Ireland,
-on board of the Europa of 60, and the Van
-Tromp of 54 guns. We had a narrow escape
-from running ashore amongst the rocks, in a fog,
-upon the Irish coast: the fog, however, cleared
-away just in time for us to see our danger. A new
-scene began to open to us: Ireland was in a state
-of insurrection; and we were but ill informed of the
-nature and extent of it. We were told by a pilot,
-that we got upon the coast to conduct us into Dublin,
-that the insurgents had taken Wexford. The
-prospect of being engaged in a civil war, made me
-thoughtful, and agitated me not a little. On the
-<abbr title='eighteenth'>18th</abbr> June we anchored in Dublin bay, and landed
-at the Pigeon-house in the evening. We were
-here met by Lord Huntly, our Colonel, who had
-been made a Brigadier General on the Irish staff.
-We remained on the mole near the Pigeon-house,
-which is about three miles from Dublin, until day-break
-next morning, and then marched into the
-city with drums beating and colours flying, announcing
-to the sleeping inhabitants, at the early
-hour of three o'clock, the arrival of fresh troops
-for the support of the government.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As we now entered into a scene of civil war, I
-will take the liberty of stating a few of the particulars
-of the Irish insurrection.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The city of Dublin was under strict police:
-patrols of cavalry paraded the streets during the
-day to prevent crowds from assembling. Numerous
-and strong guards were posted through the city
-and suburbs, and upon all the roads leading to the
-country. These guards were reinforced at night
-with additional garrison troops, and large parties
-of volunteer yeomanry, both horse and foot. Many
-citizens of the first respectability, and not a few of
-the nobility, were in the ranks of the yeomanry;
-and it was not an uncommon thing for a poor
-Highlander to have a wealthy citizen, or noble
-lord, posted along with him on sentry. All the
-inhabitants were ordered to be in their own houses
-by a set time at night. Strong patrols then scoured
-the streets and made prisoners of all they found
-upon them, and entered every house where they
-heard any disturbance. Every house had a written
-list of the inmates upon the door, and was
-liable to be visited during the night; and if any
-one was amissing, the owner might be taken up;
-or if any were in the house whose names were not
-on the door, or if any one was found in his neighbour's
-house, he was taken up and fined before
-being set at liberty. Every precaution was used,
-to prevent plots from being formed, and all means
-was used to find them out. In such a state of society,
-opportunity is afforded to private malice and
-ill-will, to injure the objects of their enmity.
-When I was upon the Grand Barrack guard, two
-respectable old citizens were brought in prisoners.
-They were men who were unfit, and very unlikely
-to have any active hand in conspiracy against
-the state. They were confined in the guard-room
-all that day and night; whether they were liberated
-next day after I was relieved, or removed to
-some other place, I know not. While they were
-in the guard-room, they were exposed to the interrogatories
-of the ignorant and unthinking, who
-took every such prisoner to be an insurgent. They
-were protected, however, by the interposition of
-the more intelligent and humane. I had a little
-conversation with them, and they told me it was
-their belief, that it was an apprentice of theirs with
-whom they had a difference on account of bad behaviour,
-who had, out of revenge, given false accusation
-against them; such as, that they were
-holding correspondence with the insurgents in the
-country, &amp;c. They told me that such cases were
-frequent. Every person accused was taken up,
-and kept until the case should be examined: and
-as this, from the great number daily apprehended,
-could not be instantly done, individuals often suffered
-seriously, before they obtained their release.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The conduct of persons, whose political sentiments
-or behaviour, were in any measure suspicious,
-was closely watched. And when they were
-found transgressing any of the police rules, their
-cases were strictly examined. I saw an instance
-of this, in the case of a respectable gentleman,
-who was confined in the same guard-room upon
-another day. He had been found out of his own
-house after the appointed time at night. He pled
-that he was only a short time in a neighbour's
-house: and that the person in whose house he was,
-was himself a very loyal man, and a yeoman. He
-said he had always been a very loyal man himself.
-He acknowledged, that at a certain public meeting,
-(which had taken place some time previous to
-this) where a certain political question had been
-discussed, he had spoken warmly, <i>too warmly</i>;
-but that that was the only thing in the course of
-his life, that could have any tendency to create
-any suspicion of his loyalty. He remained in the
-common guard-room during the day, and was removed
-to another place at night. He was liberated
-next morning when I saw him, and he told me,
-that nothing farther than his being out of his own
-house at night was brought against him; and that
-he had gotten his liberty on condition of paying ten
-pounds to the fund for the relief of the widows and
-children of soldiers who had fallen in the insurrection.
-He said that he happened to have as much
-money upon him, and that he paid it cheerfully; for
-those that were to get it well deserved it. I mention
-these cases as certain evils arising out of a state
-of civil war.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the time we lay in Dublin, the insurrection
-was raging in various parts of the country, and
-much blood was shedding. Dublin itself was kept in
-a state of tranquillity, by the vigilance of the police,
-and the power of the military. Our stay in it was
-short. On the 1st of July, the volunteer cavalry were
-employed in going through the city, pressing all
-the coaches, gigs, and other vehicles, and collecting
-them in one of the squares. At six o'clock at
-night we paraded, and went into them, and set off
-for Arklow. We travelled all night. We were all
-accommodated at the outset, but fell into considerable
-confusion on the way, by some of the coachmen
-getting drunk, and striving to get past one
-another; which caused several of the carriages to
-break down, and others, by running into ditches,
-to upset. It was conjectured that some of the
-coachmen did this wilfully, from aversion to the
-service they were upon. Numbers had thus to
-walk in the rain, which was heavy; and several
-had their muskets damaged, by the breaking down
-or upsetting of the carriages. One man had his
-firelock completely bent; and when he was asked
-by the people of the villages through which we
-passed, what kind of a gun <i>that</i> was, he told them
-it was one of a new construction, for the purpose of
-shooting round corners.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As we advanced into the country, we began to
-see the effects of the insurrection. Burnt houses began
-to make their appearance in the villages, and
-their number increased as we proceeded. The
-coaches carried us to about three miles from Arklow,
-and then returned to Dublin. We entered
-Arklow in the evening. The place had been attacked
-by a large body of insurgents a few days
-before, who had been repulsed with great slaughter.
-They had some pieces of artillery, with which
-they had dismounted one of the guns of the military,
-and damaged some of the houses. They had
-also burnt that part of the town that lay next the
-sea-side, which was composed of low thatched
-houses, and was inhabited by fishermen. It was
-a very pitiable sight to see this scene of destruction;
-and those of my comrades who went to the
-ground where the insurgents had stood during the
-action, said it was disgusting. Numbers of dead
-bodies were still unburied; some of them lying in
-ditches, and the swine feeding on them. There
-was a number of prisoners in the place, who had
-been taken, whom they were trying by court-martial,
-and hanging; but I was not an eye-witness to
-any executions in this place. A part of the regiment
-was stationed in the church, which was not
-a large one. This was a new kind of quarters, but
-every part was occupied, pulpit and all; and the
-grave stones were the place where we cleaned our
-arms.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The insurgents were still in a body upon one of
-the hills in the vicinity, and kept the place in
-alarm; and we had frequently to stand to our arms
-during the night. On the fourth of July, we paraded
-in the street at 12 o'clock at night, in great
-haste. The right wing of the regiment got three
-days bread served out, when we marched away in
-a great hurry, without giving the left wing any. I
-was in the left wing, and had only a few crumbs
-left of that day's rations. We marched very
-quickly through by-roads; and when day began to
-break, we made a short pause, and loaded our
-muskets,&mdash;the first time I had done so in the expectation
-of fighting. There was a high hill before
-us, (called White Heaps) whose top was covered
-with mist, and that side which was next to us was
-very steep. The insurgents were said to be on the
-top of it. Their number, we afterwards learned,
-was 5000; of whom 1500 had firelocks, the rest
-pikes. There were about six troops of cavalry
-along with us: but our whole number did not
-amount to 1200, without artillery. We ascended
-the hill with difficulty, without being perceived
-by those on the top, the mist concealing us from
-each other. When we had nearly reached the
-summit, and had entered into the mist that covered
-it, our front was challenged by the insurgent
-sentinels, who demanded the countersign, to which
-the Lieutenant Colonel replied, "You shall have
-it in a minute." We moved a little further and
-formed our line. The fog cleared up a little for a
-minute, when we found that our left was near the
-enemy, who were collecting themselves into three
-bodies. The ground betwixt us and them was a
-wet bog; and the commander of the cavalry told
-our commanding officer, that if he advanced, the
-cavalry would not be able to act in such marshy
-ground as that before us. The fog again covered
-us, so that we could not see them, and a gust of
-wind, with a shower of rain, induced us to stand
-still. The insurgents then gave a loud cheer, and
-then a second, and they began a third; but it died
-away, and was not so full or loud as the others.
-We expected to be instantly attacked, as this was
-their signal of attack. They, however, had imagined
-that we were much stronger than what we
-were; and being terrified by the suddenness of our
-appearance, in place of coming forward to attack,
-they fled in great haste down the opposite side of
-the hill. We stood in uncertainty for some time,
-as we could see nothing; then hearing the fire of
-two guns, we moved in that direction, and got out of
-the fog, and descended the hill on the side opposite
-to that which we had ascended. We then learned
-that the insurgents had gone down the hill; and,
-having fallen in with another division of the army,
-had come upon them before they could get fully
-formed, and had come close to the guns, when they
-were fired upon and repulsed. It had been arranged,
-that different bodies of troops should have
-mounted the hill on opposite sides at the same
-time; but we had been sooner than the others,
-which disarranged the plan. The insurgents continued
-to fly, the cavalry went forward in pursuit,
-and we followed with all possible haste. When
-we reached the foot of the hill, I saw four of the
-insurgents lying dead. We continued to march
-with great haste, and frequently changed our route.
-We heard firing at no great distance; but the parties
-were always gone before we came up. The
-road was strewed with old clothes, oatmeal, oat
-bread, and dough, thrown away by the insurgents
-in their flight. The dragoons killed a great number
-of them in the fields. The insurgents, in their
-flight, fell in with some baggage belonging to some
-of the other divisions; attacked the guard, and
-killed and wounded several, before the rest of the
-army could come to their assistance; the insurgents
-were then totally dispersed, and a great
-many killed and wounded; but our regiment never
-could arrive in time to take share in any of the
-actions. Several women were among the dead,
-who were shot in the ranks of the insurgents. We
-had a most fatiguing march, of upwards of thirty
-Irish miles. In the evening we arrived at the
-town of Gorey, as did also two other divisions of
-the army.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>One thing I would particularly notice here, is
-the <i>ferocity</i> of civil war; it has barbarities not now
-practised in the national wars of Europe. In one
-spot, where seven had fled to a house, in which
-they were killed, their bodies had been brought out
-to the road side, where they lay, shamefully uncovered,
-and some of them mangled in a manner
-too indelicate to mention. At another place, I saw
-an insurgent, who had been taken and dragged by
-the hair of his head, which was long, for some
-distance along the road, and then shot through
-the heart. It was said, he was unwilling to inform
-upon the rest of the insurgents. Numerous
-and shocking barbarities were committed on both
-sides, sometimes originating in animosity, sometimes
-in wanton cruelty, and at other times in retaliation.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I was witness to a scene of the latter kind a
-few days after, in the town of Gorey. A man
-was brought to the back of the camp, to be hanged
-upon a tree on the road side, by a party of an
-English fencible regiment. The man was scarcely
-suspended, when the officer of the party fired the
-contents of two pistols into the body, and then
-drew his sword and ran it into it. I then turned
-from the sight with disgust; but those of my comrades
-who stayed, told me that the body was lowered
-down from the tree upon the road; that the
-soldiers of the party perforated it with their bayonets,
-cut off the head, cut it in pieces, and threw
-them about, tossing them in the air, calling out,
-"Who will have this?" They then dug a hole on
-the opposite side of the road, and buried the body
-and the mangled pieces of the head, in the presence
-of a few of the unhappy man's friends. I
-was informed that he had been a judge in the insurgent
-army for trying their prisoners: that a brother
-of the officer of the party had been taken
-prisoner by the insurgents, and had been sentenced
-by this man to be piked to death: and that this
-was the reason why he had been so used.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Piking to death was what the insurgents practised
-upon those of the king's troops that fell into
-their hands, particularly if they remained firm in
-their allegiance. The common method was for
-"two to stand behind, and two before the victim,
-and thrust their pikes into his body at once, and
-raise it from the ground, holding it suspended,
-writhing with pain, while any signs of life appeared.
-At other times, two men, with pikes, would
-come before the victim, and begin to stab him in
-the feet, and then the legs, and thighs, and belly,
-until they reached the heart. At other times they
-literally perforated the body all over, with pike
-wounds." Such barbarities could not fail to produce
-desire of revenge. But, as our regiment had
-not been in the country during the out-breaking of
-the insurrection, we had received no injury to provoke
-our resentment. And as we had not been
-employed in the execution of any of the rigorous
-measures resorted to by the government to prevent
-the insurrection, no one had any ill will against
-us. We were called into the service of suppressing
-this unhappy and calamitous insurrection, after it
-had begun to decline, and we were rather witnesses
-of its ruinous and distressing effects, than
-active hands in suppressing it by force. For it so
-happened, that although we several times pursued
-considerable bodies of the insurgents through the
-mountains, and were at times pretty close upon
-them, yet no one of us fired a musket, with the
-exception of one or two, who did it without orders,
-on the morning of the 5th July, on the White
-Heaps: neither was a musket fired at us; and the
-only loss the regiment sustained during this service,
-occurred one morning when we were pursuing
-a body of insurgents among the mountains.
-One of our men having fallen behind through
-weakness, was met by two or three insurgents in
-women's clothes, carrying pails of milk on their
-heads, as if returning from milking. They offered
-him drink; and, while he was drinking, one of
-them seized his musket, and after threatening to
-kill him, they allowed him to proceed to the regiment,
-with the loss of his musket and ammunition.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The sight of so many houses and villages, and
-parts of towns, burned and destroyed, and the
-great number of women and children, who were
-in a destitute state, because their husbands and
-fathers were either gone with the insurgents, or
-were fled for safety, touched most powerfully the
-sensibilities of our hearts, and diffused a feeling
-of generous sympathy through the regiment. It so
-happened at that time, that we had newly received
-a more than ordinary balance of arrears of pay, so
-that every man was in possession of money, less
-or more; and although we were very fond of milk,
-because we had been long living upon salt provisions,
-before our arrival in Ireland, yet there were
-none who would accept of a draught of milk for
-nothing, but would pay its price. And if the people
-of the house would not take payment, they
-would give the value of what milk they received
-to the children.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As this conduct in soldiers is more rare than
-even conspicuous courage in the field, the truth of
-what is here asserted, may be the more ready to
-be questioned. I shall, therefore, take the liberty
-of inserting a quotation from Gordon's History of
-the Irish Rebellion. The author of that work is a
-clergyman, whose residence appears to have been
-in the vicinity of Gorey, and who had a personal
-knowledge of what took place there at that time.
-That author complains of the losses sustained by
-the inhabitants from the insurgents and the soldiery:
-he says, "on the arrival of the Marquis of
-Huntly, however, with his regiment of Scottish
-Highlanders, in Gorey, the scene was totally altered.
-To the immortal honour of this regiment, its
-behaviour was such, as, if it were universal among
-soldiers, would render a military government
-amiable. To the astonishment of the (until then
-miserably harassed) peasantry, not the smallest
-trifle, even a drink of butter milk, would any of
-these Highlanders accept, without the payment of
-at least the full value."&mdash;Gordon's History of the
-Irish Rebellion, <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> edit <abbr title='London'>Lond.</abbr> <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr> 240.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>When we entered the town of Gorey, it was, in
-great part, deserted by the inhabitants. Nothing
-was to be procured for money. After the very
-fatiguing march we had on the day we entered it,
-we received one biscuit and one glass of whiskey.
-On the next day we marched to a considerable distance,
-in quest of the insurgents, and returned
-back; we got a draught of milk, and one day's
-allowance of boiled beef, which had arrived from
-Arklow; but no bread.&mdash;The day was very warm,
-and I was considerably exhausted. That day
-passed over, and the next day, until the evening,
-without any word of any more provisions. The
-dread of having to pass another night in our present
-hungry state, determined other two and myself,
-to go in quest of something that we could eat.
-We saw some who had purchased some old potatoes
-at the mill of the place. We made all haste
-to the mill; but the potatoes were all sold. We
-felt disappointed; but, observing that the mill was
-at work, we entered it to see what was grinding.
-We found a man attending the mill, who said he
-was not the miller, but had just set the mill to
-work to grind some barley. There were but a few
-handfuls ground; and we resolved, rather than
-want, that we would wait until some greater quantity
-was done, when we would endeavour to get it
-cleaned, so as to be capable of being turned into
-food. After stopping a few seconds in the mill, I
-began to look about, when I perceived a number
-of sacks that were, less or more, filled with something:
-I said to my comrades, "Perhaps there may
-be something in some of these sacks that will
-serve us: we had better examine them and see."
-We were indeed loath to touch any thing; but we
-were in absolute want of food, and were willing to
-pay for it. Observing a sack about half full, standing
-beneath another that was full, and was bent
-over it, we thought we would see what was in the
-broken sack first. We instantly removed the full
-sack, and, to our great joy, we found the other was
-about half full of excellent oatmeal, ready for use.
-The miller's wife came in, in great agitation, and
-said, that she durst not sell it, for it belonged to a
-gentleman in the neighbourhood, who was a Captain
-of the Yeomen. I replied, that we were in
-absolute need, and must have it; but that we would
-pay a fair market price for it, which she could
-give to the gentleman who owned the meal; that
-he would likely be able to procure a supply to
-himself elsewhere; that he perhaps was not in the
-immediate want of it, but that we were, and did
-not know any where else to find it; and that she
-might state this to the owner, and that would remove
-all blame from her. She assented to the
-justice of this; and said, that one shilling and six-pence
-was a fair price for the stone weight. The
-weights were quickly erected; we weighed a stone,
-paid the price, and set out to get it cooked, leaving
-a number more of our comrades, who had come
-to the mill, to be supplied in the same way as we
-had been. While passing along the street, looking
-for an inhabited house, where we might get our
-meal cooked, we met other three of our comrades,
-who had gone to the country in quest of provisions,
-but could get nothing but milk, of which they had
-their canteens full. We agreed that we would
-give them a share of our meal for a share of their
-milk. We then went into a house, in which was
-a woman with one child. She said her husband
-was a blacksmith, and that the insurgents had
-forced him to go with them, to forge their pikes.<a id='r3' /><a href='#f3' class='c006'><sup>[3]</sup></a>
-We told her that we wanted her to make us some
-porridge, and that she should get a share of it
-for her trouble. She instantly cleaned her pot,
-(which was but a small one,) and got it on the
-fire. We procured some wood for fuel; and, the
-first pot full being soon made, and poured into a dish
-to cool, we desired her to make haste and get the
-second ready, for we were very hungry, and what
-was in the dish would do little to fill us: we then
-sat down, all six, to satisfy our hunger. What was
-in the dish would have been a very scanty meal
-for three; yet, after we had eagerly swallowed a
-few spoonfuls, we began to slacken our speed, and
-(although the milk and porridge were exceedingly
-good) to swallow them slowly, and with difficulty;
-and we were all reluctantly compelled to
-leave off before our little mess was nearly finished,
-and the poor woman got the remains, and the
-second pot full for her trouble. We told her, that
-we would call back next day after parade, to get
-another meal. On returning to our quarters, we
-found that our provisions had arrived in our absence;
-but as we could not know that they were
-to arrive that night, we felt satisfied with what we
-had done. We did call back at our cook's next
-day; and, after taking a little more porridge, desired
-her to make use of the rest of that meal as
-she needed it, for that we had now got plenty of
-other provision, and were not likely to require it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The town and adjacent country were in a most
-distressing state. Numbers of the cattle were
-going through the corn-fields, and destroying
-more than they were eating. The milk-cows
-were lowing most piteously for want of being
-milked. And as the town had been more than
-once in the hands of the insurgents, the alternate
-movements of the army and the insurgents created
-always fresh alarm to the peaceable and helpless,
-who were liable to suffer by every change. The
-insurgents harassed those who did not join with
-them; and when the insurgents had to fly, the
-soldiers harassed those whom they found at home,
-on pretence that they were friends or favourers of
-the insurgents: so that it was next to impossible,
-for even those who were unable to take any part
-on either side, to escape being involved in the distresses
-attendant on the quarrel.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The following circumstance will in part show
-this. Three of our men went from Gorey, to the
-country, in quest of provisions; (I think it was the
-same three that gave us milk formerly.) They
-went to a farm house, into which they entered,
-but could find no one within. They went through
-all the apartments, but could discover no one.
-They saw that the fire was unextinguished; the
-milk, and every thing about the house, showed
-that the inhabitants could not be far away. When
-they had waited a good while, in the hope that
-some of them might make their appearance, a
-young child came into the house. This convinced
-them that the mother could not be far off. They
-spoke kindly to the child, and gave it a penny. It
-then left them, and in a short time reappeared
-with its mother and the rest of the women and
-children belonging to the house. The soldiers told
-them that they wanted to buy some milk; to which
-they replied, that they might take whatever they
-wanted, and welcome. The soldiers said, they did
-not want any thing for nothing, but would pay for
-what they got; but the women insisted that they
-should take freely what they wanted, and said,
-that was not the way they had been used by the
-soldiers that had visited them before, for they took
-what they wanted without asking their liberty,
-and sometimes ill used themselves; adding, "We
-saw you coming, and we were afraid, and went
-and hid ourselves; but when the child came into
-our hiding-place, and showed us a penny it had
-got from you, this encouraged us to make our appearance;
-and God bless you, take what you want
-freely." The soldiers got their canteens filled
-with milk, but the inhabitants had no other provisions
-that they could spare. They then left them,
-(after giving the children as many pence as they
-thought the milk was worth,) highly pleased with
-their visit.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We stayed in the town of Gorey a fortnight,
-during which time public confidence was greatly
-restored. The bulk of the inhabitants had returned,
-and the grocers' shops began to be replenished.
-There was no whiskey, or drink of any kind, to
-be had when we entered it; but whiskey was distilled
-and sold some days previous to our departure,
-which consumed the soldiers' money much
-faster than the buying of milk did, although the
-milk was by far the preferable article, had they
-been so wise as to have contented themselves with
-it. We left Gorey, and had two days march to
-Blessington, twelve miles from Dublin. Our route
-led us through a part of the country that had suffered
-severely. Almost every change of landscape
-presented to our view the roofless walls of cabins
-and of gentlemen's country seats, many of which
-were spacious and elegant. The populous village
-of Carnew, where we halted for a night, had been
-almost totally burnt. The inhabitants had sheltered
-themselves within the walls of their cabins
-the best way they could; but, in wet weather, their
-condition was pitiful. A great part of the town of
-Blessington had also been destroyed. We pitched
-our tents in the rear of the Marquis of Downshire's
-fine house, which had also been burnt. A large
-body of military was encamped in the pleasure
-grounds, and great openings were made in the
-walls and hedges to admit of a ready communication
-between the different parts of the camp, and
-every thing was in a ruinous state. We were here
-put under the orders of Sir John Moore, then a
-Major General, and in a few days he marched
-with our regiment, and the Hompesch dragoons,
-and two pieces of artillery, and encamped in the
-glen of Eimal, among the mountains of Wicklow;
-where several detached bodies of insurgents were
-still in arms. When we entered the glen, which
-was a fruitful valley of considerable extent, the
-inhabitants kept their houses, because some of the
-military, who had been there before us, had spread
-a report that we were uncommonly ferocious. But
-this impression was of short duration; we were
-soon great favourites with them, and our camp
-became a place of public resort, particularly upon
-Sundays. The young men and women were entertained
-with whiskey, music, and dancing; to
-which exercise they were encouraged by the attendance
-and approbation of a neighbouring Catholic
-priest, who excited the young women to dance
-with the military, even with very profane language.
-This drew forth the remarks of the soldiers;
-and even the most openly profane among
-them condemned their own sins when committed
-by a priest.&mdash;A circumstance of a different kind
-took place here, which was remarked as uncommon
-among us. Two of the soldiers quarrelled,
-and had a long vociferous wrangle, consisting
-chiefly in profane oaths and curses. They were
-not far from the Major's tent; (the Major was a
-Catholic;) he was so disgusted at the horrid profanity
-of their language, that he ordered them extra
-drill, as a punishment, and complained to Lord
-Huntly, who gave out an order prohibiting the
-practice, and threatening to put the Articles of
-War in force, and to fine every man in a shilling
-for every oath. This was a temporary check to
-the very public commission of it, but it was only
-of short duration; for the practice was too general
-among all ranks, and the order was soon as if it
-had never been.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>While we lay in this camp, Sir John Moore
-marched twice with us into the interior of the
-mountains, where the insurgents still kept in small
-bodies. They made a show of resistance, but fled
-when we got near them. We pursued them slowly;
-Sir John did not allow any to fire at them, though
-it might, at times, have been done. It appeared
-to be his intention to intimidate them from remaining
-in arms, and by showing them forbearance, to
-induce them to return to their allegiance. This
-wise conduct of the general, along with the conciliatory
-behaviour of the soldiers, had a happy
-effect. For, during the time that we were encamped
-here, the greater part of them came in and
-delivered up their arms. The whole would have
-submitted in the course of a day or two, if the
-French had not landed at Killala. It was said,
-that the only remaining leaders were in the camp,
-and had left it to fetch in their followers the next
-day; but that the report of the French having
-landed<a id='r4' /><a href='#f4' class='c006'><sup>[4]</sup></a> reaching them in the evening, revived
-their hopes of a revolution: and, our marching
-suddenly away next morning to oppose the French,
-confirmed them in the belief that they were in
-great force. In consequence of this, they remained
-in arms during the autumn and winter, committing
-petty depredations, and skulking among
-the mountains. It was lamentable to see the ignorance
-of the people who had been in arms. They
-were indeed no judges of political questions. Petty
-local animosity, and an aversion to Protestants,
-was all that operated with the great body of them;
-and beyond these, they could not be made to look
-by those who saw farther.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Their bigotry to the Romish religion was so
-strong, that although their oaths, as united Irishmen,
-bound them to "persevere in endeavouring
-to form a brotherhood of affection among Irishmen
-of <i>every</i> religious persuasion," they were no sooner
-up in arms, than they began to show that Protestants
-would not be tolerated. They put many
-Protestants to death, in the most cruel manner,
-some of whom were fighting in their own ranks. And
-had they succeeded in overturning the government,
-they would not have spared even those Protestant
-gentlemen that were their chief leaders, nor yet
-those of their own communion that were favourers
-of toleration. Their secular leaders, whether
-Protestant or Catholic, were soon convinced, that
-because they did not approve of intolerance, their
-lives would fall a sacrifice to their own party if it
-was successful. They preferred surrendering themselves
-to the clemency of the government, as soon
-as it was in their power, to staying among the insurgents;
-for, although they had forfeited their
-lives by their insurrection, they had a greater
-chance of being spared by the clemency of the
-government, than of escaping the bigotry of those
-whom they themselves had stirred up to rise in
-arms against it. One Garret Byrne, a Roman
-Catholic gentleman, of landed property, surrendered
-after the affair of the White Heaps, and was
-sent to our camp, and was employed by Sir John
-Moore to guide us through the mountains, when we
-went in pursuit of the insurgents.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Disaffection had spread among the Protestants
-of the north, as well as among the Papists of the
-south; but, as soon as the Protestants in the north
-heard that the insurrection had taken a religious
-turn in the south, they were glad to be quiet, for
-they instantly saw that their safety (they being by
-far the fewer number) lay in the preservation of
-the government. This freed the government from
-the resistance of the Protestant insurgents of the
-north; who, from the superiority of their intelligence,
-were more to be dreaded than the Catholics
-of the south. Want of subordination in the
-insurgent armies, also, contributed materially to
-render the insurrection abortive. Their notions
-of liberty, for which they ignorantly pretended to
-be fighting, were of such a nature as to render
-every attempt to train them to arms utterly vain.
-They said, we are the sovereign people&mdash;we are
-free&mdash;we will not be drilled like those slaves of
-government, the red coats. To be drilled like a
-soldier was a degree of subordination which they
-had never been subject to; and, when they had
-been persuaded by those who stirred them up to
-insurrection, that they were slaves, and that they
-would obtain freedom by rising in arms, they could
-not see the consistency of this, with submitting to
-the slavery of being drilled like soldiers. Indeed,
-their actions showed that the liberty for which <i>they
-were fighting</i>, was a liberty to violate the laws of
-God and man, and indulge in licentiousness, riot,
-and dissipation, and the cruelties of superstition.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We had a long fatiguing march to the opposite
-coast of Ireland. We never came in contact with
-the French, but we were extremely glad when we
-heard of their surrender, as we were weary with
-hard marching. We escorted them as prisoners
-one day's march; their number was then, of all
-ranks, somewhat about 800. When they landed,
-they were 1100, (Gordon's History of the Irish
-Rebellion, <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr> 294.) There were several amongst
-them who had been prisoners in Corsica when our
-regiment was there, and they recognised some of
-our men as having been guards over them there.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>They had brought a large quantity of arms,
-accoutrements, and clothing from France, to equip
-the Irish insurgents, many of whom had joined
-them after they had taken the town of Castlebar;
-but the major part left them, and went away with
-the arms, accoutrements, and clothing they had
-received, as soon as the French began to drill
-them. Muskets had been given to five thousand
-five hundred in Castlebar, but there were only
-about fifteen hundred that accompanied the French
-on their march from that place to Ballinamuck,
-where the French surrendered, when 500 of them
-were killed, and the rest dispersed. They were
-also dangerous as well as useless allies to the
-French; for they were not disposed to give quarter
-to prisoners. I heard of an instance of an insurgent
-who killed a soldier that had been taken prisoner:
-one of the French cavalry instantly cut the
-insurgent down with his sword. This restraint did
-not suit the sanguinary temper of the insurgents;
-but the French well knew that if their allies did
-not give quarter, no quarter would be given to
-them. The alliance was also very incongruous;
-for the insurgents were all bigotted Catholics, and
-the French enthusiastic infidels, who openly boasted
-that they had lately driven Mr. Pope out of Italy,
-and had not expected to find him so suddenly in
-Ireland. They smiled at the simplicity of the
-Irish, when they heard them declare that they
-came to take arms for France and the blessed
-Virgin. The priests were treated with the utmost
-contempt by the French general, although it was
-his interest to have acted otherwise. There can
-be no doubt that, although the French had succeeded
-in revolutionizing Ireland, their religious
-difference would have produced a new war between
-them and the Irish.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We did not return to the Wicklow mountains;
-but encamped during the autumn at Moat, twelve
-miles from Athlone, which is near the centre of
-Ireland; and, when winter set in, we went into
-Athlone for winter quarters. The number of the
-regiment was changed at this time from the <abbr title='hundredth'>100th</abbr>
-to the <abbr title='ninety-second'>92d</abbr>.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We lay there from the end of October, 1798,
-to June, 1799. In this place it pleased God to
-lead my mind to serious and deep reflection, and
-to begin a work of sharp conviction, such as I had
-never before experienced. There was a Catholic
-Chapel, an English Church, and a Wesleyan Methodist
-Meeting-house in the town. In the Methodist
-Meeting-house, there were always public
-prayers evening and morning, and sermon on the
-Lord's day, and often twice a week in the evenings.
-I attended the Meeting-house pretty closely,
-and began to read my Bible with more than common
-attention. I reviewed my past life, and found
-that I was an exceeding great sinner in the sight
-of God: and God's goodness as my Creator, and
-merciful Preserver, appeared to my view in a
-much stronger light than ever it had done before.
-I read several religious books, amongst which were
-Baxter's Call to the Unconverted, and Young's
-Night Thoughts. The subject of life, death, and
-immortality, occupied my thoughts very much; the
-conviction of my ingratitude, in sinning against
-God, often made me weep in secret; and the fear
-of falling into the hands of a justly offended God,
-frequently made me shudder. The words of Scripture,
-"Repent and turn to the Lord," were
-strongly impressed upon my mind. I saw there
-was no salvation without pardon, and no pardon
-without repentance. I wept for my sins, and
-earnestly besought God to forgive them. I read the
-Scriptures, and found, as I imagined, pardon promised
-to the penitent. I followed, as far as circumstances
-permitted, in point of form, Baxter's
-directions. I devoted myself to God, and vowed
-to forsake sin, and to live a godly life for the future.
-I made this resolution in sincerity of heart,
-my understanding being convinced that it was my
-duty to hate sin, because God hated it; and that if
-I regarded sin in my heart, God would not hear
-my prayers, nor pardon my transgressions. I then
-began to attempt the performance of what I saw
-was my duty. I began to hunger and thirst after
-personal holiness; but of the nature of justification,
-by faith in the imputed righteousness of Christ, I
-had no conception; and of the nature and design
-of his sufferings, my ideas were very confused and
-erroneous. It was a sense of sin that pained my
-conscience, and I sought for relief in personal reformation,
-and founded my hope of pardon for the
-past, and of eternal life, in the success of the reformation,
-I had now commenced. Being convinced
-that I was liable to many and strong temptations,
-and that the conquest of sin would be no
-easy work, I conceived that it was my wisdom, as
-well as duty, to have recourse to every thing that
-could strengthen me against temptation, and assist
-me in the arduous task of working out what I conceived
-to be my salvation.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>When under this temper of mind, I happened,
-with a number of other soldiers of the regiment, to
-be at the meeting-house one evening; and after
-the ordinary service of praise and prayer was over,
-the preacher desired the soldiers to remain, intimating
-that he had something to say to us. He
-then addressed us, on the propriety of joining in a
-class meeting, informing us how many soldiers had
-joined in a class meeting, in a neighbouring town,
-in his circuit. He said that some of us might
-scruple, because he was not of the same religious
-principles as those we had been brought up in.
-This might be true; but he remarked that we had
-no opportunity of joining with those, who were of
-the principles in which we might have been educated,
-there being none in the place; that, if we
-chose to form a class meeting, he did not require
-that we should be of the same principles with him
-in every thing; but that if we were concerned for
-the salvation of our souls, it would be for our benefit,
-while we were absent from home, to be united
-together, for the purpose of social worship and
-instruction.&mdash;I thought the proposal candid and
-reasonable, and put down my name, as one willing
-to join in a class meeting. I thought it would
-be a means of helping me in the work of personal
-reformation. For a short time I went on pretty
-well in my own estimation, abstaining from any
-thing that was open and flagrant; but secret sins
-overcame me, although I had set myself to resist
-them with all my might; and this broke my peace
-of mind. It happened, that there were a number
-of the regiment, and amongst them some of my
-own comrades, taken ill with dysentery; and several
-died of the disorder. This alarmed me
-much. I began more seriously than ever, to contemplate
-the uncertainty of life. I read seriously,
-and with great attention, those portions of Young's
-Night Thoughts that treat on that subject. I entered
-fully into the spirit of the poet, and applied
-to my conscience his reflections. My security of
-life was completely broken. Every night I lay
-down to sleep, I was afraid I might never awake,
-and every morning I arose, I was afraid I might
-die before night. I would say to myself in the
-morning, "Some of my fellow creatures, who are
-living at this moment, will be dead before night;
-and how can I tell but I may be one of them!"
-This subject never made so strong an impression
-on my mind as at this time. I never was so much
-afraid of death, except on occasions of evident danger.
-I could no longer place death at a distance.
-I saw myself in danger of being snatched away
-every moment in numberless ways, and put the
-question to myself, "Were I to die this moment,
-what hope have I of escaping hell and getting to
-heaven?" and I concluded, that I had no hope of
-heaven whatever, but every reason to fear that
-hell should be my portion.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I then began to look around me; and compare
-myself with the bulk of my comrades. I thought
-I was not so bad as they were. I began to reason
-with myself, that if God was to send <i>me</i> to hell for
-<i>my sins</i>, surely those that were worse than I was,
-would also be condemned; and, if that was the
-case, how few would there be that would escape!
-I would fondly have indulged the idea, that surely
-God would not be so severe, as to condemn so
-many, and would fain have cherished the hope, that
-because I was not so bad as the major part of those
-I knew, I should have a chance to escape. But
-when I reviewed my past life in the light of the
-word of God, I found nothing but condemnation;
-for I perceived that that word took cognisance of
-the quality of sin, as well as the quantity, and condemned
-both sins secret and sins open: I began to
-remember the means that I had enjoyed above
-others, of religious instruction and information;
-and the declaration of our Lord, "To whom much
-is given, of them shall much be required," rang
-in my ears. I remembered the impressions made
-upon my mind by early religious instructions; I
-recollected the resolutions I had made to forsake
-sin, and the convictions which had produced these
-resolutions; I thought of my breaches of these resolutions,
-and my former forgetfulness and indifference:
-and more particularly, my failing in
-keeping my last most solemn vow. I began to
-meditate and consider of God's dealings with me
-as an individual: and of the account he would require
-of me <i>as an individual sinner</i>. I no longer
-durst compare myself with other men. I knew
-not the extent, in number and heinousness, of any
-other man's sins. I knew not their secret sins and
-evil purposes of heart; and as God would bring all
-manner of sin into judgment, I durst no longer
-think in my heart that I was a whit better than
-the most wicked and profane person I knew; for I
-knew more evil of myself than I had known, or
-could know of another. This led me to look
-more strictly into my own heart, and to examine
-what was done in it, as I found that the word of
-God discerned the thoughts of the heart. This
-led me to investigate the <i>motives</i> of my actions,
-and then I found that I did nothing that was pure.
-I called to mind the past goodness of God, the
-many mercies and deliverances he had given me;
-I reflected on my ungrateful behaviour, and was
-filled with wonder and astonishment that a God of
-such awful majesty, should have spared such an
-ungrateful and vile wretch so long; I was led afresh
-to consider, "What shall I do to escape the just
-vengeance of Almighty God?" and my resolution
-was to repent afresh of my sins, and devote my
-future life, with greater resolution to his glory. I
-durst not delay my repentance to a more convenient
-time, because the fear of death stared me in
-the face; and I was convinced, that as death left
-me, judgment would find me. I trembled at the
-thought of being called, by death, before the awful
-tribunal of God. I had nothing to look to on the
-one hand, but a broken law; and a holy, sin-avenging
-God on the other. This made me earnestly
-wish for the pardon of my sins, and I resolved
-that I would do any thing whatever that would
-procure it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I read the Scriptures, but chiefly in the Old
-Testament, often in Isaiah. To the clearer light
-of the New Testament, I did not so much attend.
-Its clear evangelical language did not strike my
-mind with that force as to fix my attention upon
-it. From those parts of the Scripture that
-caught my attention, I formed the following
-opinions:&mdash;that God promised mercy to the penitent
-returning sinner: this gave me a gleam of
-hope, which I believe prevented me from sinking
-into absolute despair; but I did not understand the
-nature of evangelical repentance, or the way by
-which the penitent should come to God, in order
-to be accepted. The state of my mind at that
-time was this; I thought that if I sincerely repented
-of my past sins, and did not commit sin for the
-future, God would pardon my sins. I also promised
-myself, that if I truly, and seriously, resolved
-to serve God for the future period of my life,
-God would on this account, give me strength to resist
-every kind of temptation, and to overcome
-every desire to sin. I promised myself, that, by
-constant endeavours, and unremitting exertions, I
-should overcome all obstacles, and finally merit
-eternal life. I saw that God required of the penitent
-sinner, future obedience: I was convinced that
-this was just: I thought that God did not require
-any thing but what he had given us power to perform,
-if we were but willing to do so. I resolved
-to be willing, and to try my strength to the utmost.
-I thought that if I did meet with any thing that
-was too hard for my present strength, God would
-give me additional strength; but that the only way
-to honour God was to use the power that he had already
-given me. I thought it would be affronting
-God to ask more, until I had first proved the insufficiency
-of what I now possessed: and that it
-would be insulting to divine goodness, to be seeking
-that which was already bestowed upon me.
-Under this frame of mind, I set about the performance
-of religious duties. I prayed more frequently
-and fervently; I read the Scriptures with greater
-diligence and attention; I abstained from every
-thing that was in my opinion sinful. But my past
-sins were still painful to me, because I was not
-yet assured that they were or should be pardoned.
-I was, however, certain that if I continued to commit
-sin, I should get no pardon, but if I forsook
-sin, I <i>might</i> obtain pardon. The spirit of my
-prayers was, entreating God to pardon my sins,
-and promising to lead a holy life in future.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>While in this state of mind, I went one evening
-to the meeting-house, and as I was returning to
-the barracks, pondering in my mind my guilt, as a
-sinner, and the goodness and sparing mercy of
-God, the powers of my mind having been buoyed
-up by the fervour of the exhortations and prayers I
-had heard, a sudden emotion started all at once
-into my mind, that my sins were pardoned by God,
-that God had promised pardon to such as me; and
-that all that was required was, that I should believe
-that God had pardoned my sins; that God
-was faithful to his promise, and it would be to me,
-even according to my faith. This emotion had a
-powerful influence upon me. It gave peace to my
-mind, for I took it to be one of those manifestations
-of the Spirit, spoken of by those who preached,
-exhorted, and prayed, at the meeting-house.
-Under the impressions produced by it, I went on
-very smoothly, abstaining from sins, to which I had
-formerly been a slave. I now thought myself
-happy, and promised to myself, that I would now
-be able to live such a life, as should be pleasing to
-God, and should procure and retain his favour.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>But I must here add, that this impression that
-my sins were actually pardoned, was not accompanied
-with any increase of light to my understanding
-of the way in which God forgives sin. I was as
-blind to the nature of the great doctrines of the
-justifying righteousness and atoning blood of Christ,
-as I had been before. The views which at this
-time I entertained of Christ's death, were, that he
-had died to procure the pardon of such sins as
-were committed by sinners, while in a state of ignorance
-and impenitence. I believed that had
-Christ not died, there would have been no pardon
-for sin, but that his death had opened the door of
-mercy to penitent sinners of all descriptions. I
-thought all the design of God, was to bring men to
-a sense of their moral duty, and to put them once
-more in a fair way of discharging their moral obligations
-to him, as their Creator and Preserver; and
-that he had promised those who repented, his assistance
-in all things that were difficult, and his
-protection from outward danger; and that Christ's
-death justified God, in granting pardon to penitent
-sinners, on account of their penitence. I had some
-faint recollection of what I had read in Boston's
-Fourfold State, and the instructions I had received
-in the Sabbath school, and from others, and could
-discern that there was a difference between them
-and the instructions I was now hearing, particularly
-on the doctrine of election, and remaining
-corruption in believers; but I had no fixed ideas
-on these topics, only just as much as prevented me
-from thinking that the Methodists were right, in
-denying, that the doctrines of election, and of remaining
-depravity in all believers, were taught in
-the Bible. I thought they were, but they were
-not any part of my own fixed belief. I read Wesley
-on Christian perfection, and, although I did
-not think he gave a sound view of some Scripture
-texts, perfection was the thing I was striving
-to obtain; a perfect obedience to the divine law
-was what I had set out to accomplish; and the
-following lines of one of Mr. Wesley's hymns,
-were, for a time, very frequent in my mouth, and
-repeated in secret prayer to God;</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>O grant that nothing in my heart</div>
- <div class='line'>May dwell, but thy pure love alone;</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>and I resolved that my life should be one scene of
-devotion and of gratitude to God. I continued to
-go on pretty smoothly for about six weeks, and I
-thought I had got the better of sinful inclinations;
-but when I fancied I was strong, I soon had reason
-to be convinced that I was weak, had I only been
-willing to learn; for I again fell into some sins,
-which I had flattered myself I should never more
-be guilty of; and this broke my peace of mind, and
-blasted all my hopes. I however found means to
-heal the sore again, after having undergone considerable
-pain of mind. I again set out by repenting,
-and trusting in the mercy of God, and resolving
-on future obedience; but my conduct was not
-regular, and secret sins, which lay at times very
-heavy upon my conscience, would overcome me,
-although I strove against them with all my might.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I continued to attend the various meetings, public
-and private, amongst the Methodists, while we
-lay in Athlone. My attendance among them was
-certainly of great benefit to me, in leading to a train
-of experience, that materially contributed to make
-me acquainted with the deep deceitfulness of my
-own heart. I was indeed slow to learn; but what
-took place with me at that time, afforded matter
-for reflection afterwards. I think upon it still, and
-see great reason for humility on account of my
-blindness, in not seeing while I was there, that I
-was without strength and without righteousness,
-without Christ, and without hope, I can not tell
-how far the gospel was set before me by the Methodists;
-but I am pretty certain, from some expressions
-that I have still a faint recollection of,
-that Christ was set before me in a much clearer
-light than I at that time apprehended him; I had,
-all the time I was there, continued in a course of
-sinning and repenting, making resolutions and
-breaking them; and, although I suffered great pain
-of conscience, I succeeded in quieting it by the
-hope of better success the next time. When we
-came to leave the place, I felt that I should not
-have the same privilege, of the means of instruction
-and social worship, at least for a while to come;
-and this gave me less hope of myself, and filled
-me with a greater degree of fear, that I should be
-more liable to be overcome by temptation, when I
-should not have the help of the means of grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I may here mention a simple incident that occurred
-while I was in Athlone. One night I was placed
-sentinel over a prisoner, in the room in which he
-slept. He was asleep, and I did not disturb him;
-a book lay near me; I took it up and passed the
-two hours with it; it was a book of sermons on
-Contentment, written by an old divine, (if I mistake
-not, a Mr. Taylor of London,) but it matters
-not who the author was. He handled it in a variety
-of lights, and applied the principle of contentment
-to the good works of Christians. I forgot
-all that I read but the following expressions; he
-said, that the genuine disciple of Christ was one,
-who was willing to do every thing for the sake of
-Christ, and, at the same time, was content to deny
-all he had done for Christ's sake. The author
-pursued his subject in a spiritual sense, and I was
-taken with the book, although I did not understand
-it. It was, however, written in such a strain of
-piety, that I was struck with it; my memory kept
-hold of the words, "do all for Christ, and deny all
-for Christ;" and I would at times reflect upon them,
-as strange and mysterious. I could never understand
-them, but I could not help being struck with
-them; and when the Lord opened my eyes several
-years afterwards, I remembered I had read them,
-and wondered how it was I did not understand
-them sooner; but I was then carnal; and the things
-of the Spirit were foolishness to me, for I had not
-spiritual discernment.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We left Athlone, and marched to Cork, in June,
-1799, to embark for England, and join the army
-that was forming to invade Holland. After leaving
-Athlone, I began to fall off in my attention to
-serious things. I carried Gray's Sermons in my
-knapsack, to oblige a comrade who was a Methodist,
-but who had not room for it in his. I carried
-it to the place of our embarkation, and returned it
-to him, without having read any part of it. I had
-read little or nothing of my Bible either, during the
-march. I found out the Methodist meeting at
-Cashil, where we stopt a day, and was at worship
-twice or thrice.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We lay several weeks encamped at a place called
-Monkton, near Cork, waiting for vessels to
-carry us to England. I was twice or thrice at a
-prayer meeting during that time; but although the
-prospect of danger was increasing, I was increasingly
-remiss in attending to religious duties; and
-this was the case with the most part of those who
-had been joined with the Methodists. There was
-only one man in the regiment who was uniformly
-steady and consistent in these things.</p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f3'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r3'>3</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>They impressed into their service all the blacksmiths
-they could find.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f4'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r4'>4</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Reports varied as to the number landed: some reports
-made them 15,000, others, as high as 30,000.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap3' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='three'>III.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>I continued in a very careless and listless state
-of mind during the passage to England. We landed
-at Dover, and marched to Barham downs,
-where we were encamped. About ten thousand
-troops were assembled at this place in a few days,
-and Sir Ralph Abercrombie was appointed to command
-them. Our regiment was put into a brigade
-under the command of Sir John Moore. Lord
-Huntly went upon the expedition as Colonel of the
-regiment, for he was not yet a General upon the
-English staff. We marched to Ramsgate, and
-embarked on board of transports, on the <abbr title='fifth'>5th</abbr> of
-August, and sailed next day for Holland, under
-convoy of a fleet of war ships, commanded by Admiral
-Mitchell. A short time after we sailed, the
-wind became contrary and stormy, and continued
-so for about three weeks, which was an uncommon
-circumstance at this season of the year; so
-that, although the distance was short, the voyage
-was tedious. This delay allowed time for reflection,
-but I did not improve it, for whatever were
-the passing thoughts of my mind, I was not seriously
-impressed until a few days before we landed.
-The wind becoming favourable and moderate, we
-stood in for the coast of Holland, and anchored on
-the evening of the <abbr title='twenty-fourth'>24th</abbr>, near the entrance to the
-Helder, and began to prepare to land. The Dutch
-fleet, of eight sail of the line and three frigates, lay
-in our sight in the outer road of the Helder; and
-the fleet of Admiral Duncan, of about an equal
-number, lay at anchor a few miles from them.
-The fleet under Admiral Mitchell had an imposing
-appearance; for it consisted of fifteen sail of the
-line, and about fifty frigates, sloops of war, cutters,
-and gun vessels, with about 130 transports. The
-wind, however, became stormy again on the <abbr title='twenty-fifth'>25th</abbr>,
-and the fleet, under Admiral Mitchell, put to sea;
-but it moderated during the night, and we returned
-and anchored nearer the shore than before, on
-the <abbr title='twenty-sixth'>26th</abbr>, and prepared to land next morning. The
-ships of war hoisted the English and Dutch flags
-together, because the object of our intended invasion
-was to expel the French and restore the former
-government. The troops on board of the ships
-nearest the shore (of which the ship I was in was
-one) were ordered to land first. Our danger was
-now more imminent than ever it had been before;
-the probability of being suddenly called from time
-to eternity, was more than ever apparent; and I
-began again to pray and to meditate. We cooked
-three days' provisions, to carry with us, and were
-served out with ammunition on the evening previous
-to our landing; we did not go to rest that
-night, but kept on our accoutrements, to be ready
-to go into the boats when a signal should be made.
-Such a period is one of great agitation and anxiety.
-The prospect of landing in the twilight of the
-morning, on an enemy's coast, ignorant of the nature
-and extent of the danger, where one can not
-tell whether we may reach the shore, or be driven
-back as soon as we land, or suddenly overpowered
-before we can get assistance. These, and the
-like, are serious considerations at a time like this.
-During the night I was often praying in my mind
-for mercy, that the Lord would spare me: and I
-put on fresh resolutions, that if I was spared, I
-would serve God with fidelity and diligence. All
-my prayers were for the preservation of life: I
-durst not resign myself to death, because I was
-conscious I was not prepared for judgment. All
-my hopes for eternity, were founded in reformation
-of character, and that I had yet to begin; for
-had I been cut off, at that time, I had no hope of
-heaven.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The province of North Holland is a peninsula,
-formed by the German ocean on the west, and the
-Zuyder-sea on the east. The town of Helder
-stands at the northern extremity, where the Zuyder-sea
-communicates with the German ocean,
-between the Helder point and the Texel island,
-distant about six miles. The city of Amsterdam
-stands on the south side of the Zuyder-sea, the
-common passage to which is by the Helder. A
-range of sand-hills runs along the coast of the German
-ocean, close to the beach, and the country
-between them and the Zuyder-sea is nearly a perfect
-flat. Large dykes, or mounds of earth, run
-along the shores of the Zuyder-sea to protect the
-tide from overflowing the country, which is below
-the level of high water. The sand-hills serve for
-an embankment on the side of the German ocean.
-The principal arsenal for equipping and repairing
-the Dutch fleet is near the town of Helder, the
-greater part of which rendezvouses there; but they
-are built at Amsterdam and other places in the interior,
-and floated down the Zuyder-sea, on account
-of the shallowness of its water, and are fitted
-out for sea at Helder.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We embarked in the boats early in the morning,
-and collected at the stern of a gun vessel that
-lay nearest the shore, where we waited until daylight
-began to make the coast visible; I continued
-at intervals offering up ejaculatory prayers to God,
-for preservation and deliverance. As soon as the
-coast was discernible, the gun vessel began to fire
-her guns upon the shore, and the boats rowed off,
-giving three loud cheers. The fire of the different
-vessels of war that lay along the shore was dreadful:
-but as the shot and shells were all thrown at
-random, the enemy not being visible, it did little
-damage; but it probably prevented the enemy from
-appearing on the open beach, by which means we
-got safely landed. The enemy's troops were posted
-among the sand-hills at the different points opposite
-to our extended anchorage, that were most
-favourable for landing. These points were chiefly
-at some distance to the right of the place we landed
-at, where the beach, not being so favourable,
-was not so strongly guarded. A part of his force
-was also to our left, near the Fort at the entrance
-to the Helder, where they had a camp. We
-formed on the beach as we landed, and began to
-advance into the sand-hills. Our regiment was
-near the left of the line; there were only a few of
-the enemy's picquets that appeared in <i>our</i> front,
-who retired as we advanced: but the troops on the
-right had not proceeded far before they fell in with
-a division of the enemy, when a smart action began.
-The enemy were quickly driven farther to
-the right, but fresh columns soon arriving, the action
-became increasingly warm, but our troops
-continued to press upon the enemy, and took up a
-position across the sand-hills, to cover the right of
-the debarkation. Sir John Moore's brigade, in
-which our regiment was, penetrated also across
-them as soon as possible, and took up a position to
-cover the left.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The sand-hills at this place are not of great
-breadth; the road from Helder to the interior runs
-along the interior side of them, the peninsula at
-this place is narrow, and the ground between the
-sand-hills and the Zuyder-sea is a flat, in many
-parts swampy. As soon as the first party of our
-regiment had reached the further side of the sand-hills,
-they descried that part of the enemy's
-force that had been posted on our left, passing
-along the Helder road to join their forces that were
-engaged with our right. They were composed of
-horse artillery, cavalry, and infantry. As soon as
-they observed our advance picquets, they left the
-road, and made a circuit through the flat ground to
-their left: and when they were out of the reach of
-musketry they made a pause, and fired two field
-pieces at us, which did us no hurt, and then passed
-on and joined their own troops. The fire of
-the ships of war that were anchored to the right
-and left of the point of debarkation, prevented the
-enemy from attempting to march along the beach
-to disturb the landing. They also protected the
-right flank of the troops that were engaged with the
-enemy, but he attacked their front with his infantry,
-and their left flank with his artillery; which
-he kept upon the flat ground, on the inside of the
-sand-hills, protected by his cavalry. Indeed infantry
-were the only troops that were capable of
-fighting among the sand-hills. Fresh columns
-continuing to arrive during the course of the day,
-to the support of the enemy, he maintained the
-contest and renewed his efforts to dislodge our
-troops, but as they also were reinforced by those
-that continued to land, they repulsed all his attacks
-and gained ground; but, as we had neither artillery
-nor cavalry, we dared not to attack his that
-were posted in the plain, nor was it expedient to
-advance far until the army should all be landed.
-The enemy continued his efforts from five o'clock
-in the morning till four o'clock in the afternoon,
-when the army was nearly all landed, and some
-pieces of artillery were brought to bear upon the
-enemy's cavalry and artillery. The troops then
-charged his infantry, and drove them beyond
-Challantes Ogg, a place where an inundation of
-water from the Zuyder-sea contracts the peninsula
-nearly to the breadth of the sand-hills. The enemy
-then retreated into the interior, and left us in
-possession of our position, which separated him
-from the Helder. Another fleet of transports, with
-five thousand additional troops from England, appeared
-at sea in the afternoon, and anchored in
-the evening. Our regiment was not engaged
-through this day; but Sir John Moore's brigade
-was destined to attack the batteries and town of
-Helder next morning, if the enemy's garrison still
-remained in them. The loss of the army during
-this day's conflict was about a thousand men killed
-and wounded. Our regiment lost sixteen men,
-who were drowned in the act of landing, the boat
-having struck on a bank at some distance from the
-shore; the men got out of the boat, but got into
-deep water before they reached the beach, and
-the swell having increased at the time they were
-landing, they, along with several seamen belonging
-to the boat, were drowned. I knew most of
-them; one of them was a particular acquaintance,
-whose death made a strong impression on my
-mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As soon as it was fully dark our brigade marched
-away for the Helder. There is something impressive
-in a march under the cloud of night, in a
-strange land, where we can not tell the danger we
-are in, and have to move forward in solemn
-silence. It was ordered, that no man was to speak
-above his breath during the march; and all orders
-to halt, or move forward, were given the same
-way. We had frequent stops, which made us,
-who were not in the front, often wonder what was
-the matter. Such a march is a service in which
-the mind undergoes much harassing anxiety, and
-the body much fatigue. Having come near to the
-Helder, we halted, and lay under arms, in a state
-of great anxiety, until daylight; several of their
-ships of war were then seen at anchor near the
-town, but they got quickly under weigh, and their
-whole fleet anchored in the Zuyder-sea, about 12
-miles from the Helder; which was the farthest
-distance they could go to on account of the shallowness
-of the water. After waiting some time
-we obtained information that the enemy had evacuated
-the various forts and batteries about the
-place. We sent out small detachments, who found
-that it was so, and we then entered the place, and
-put guards in the different works. When I reflected
-on the dangers we had escaped, I was filled
-with wonder; but I soon forgot them all; and
-during the few days that we lay in the town of
-Helder, my conduct, in place of being better, was
-worse than ordinary.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The transports, and a number of our frigates,
-came into the Helder next day, and the artillery,
-cavalry, and stores, were landed in the harbour.
-The day following the ships of the line came in,
-and admiral Mitchel went forward to the Dutch
-fleet, with a squadron of nine sail of the line, and
-five frigates. The Dutch fleet then surrendered
-without firing a shot, and hoisted the orange flag.
-Their crews were in a state of mutiny at the time,
-partly out of disaffection to the new republican
-government, but more particularly for want of pay.
-When they were ordered to prepare for action
-they refused to fight, and threw the balls and cartridges
-into the sea. It would, indeed, have been
-a useless waste of blood for them to have resisted,
-for if the squadron that went to them had not
-been sufficient to have reduced them, there were
-more than enough of war ships, of all descriptions,
-at hand to have completely overwhelmed them;
-for after the batteries of the Helder were in our
-possession, they had no way of saving their ships
-to their country but by taking out their guns and
-masts to lighten them, and towing them through
-the shallow water to some of the ports in the interior,
-out of our reach. And why they did not
-do so is not easily accounted for. Besides this
-fleet of eight sail of the line, three frigates, and a
-sloop, there were two sail of the line, eleven
-frigates and smaller vessels of war, and three East
-India ships lying in the harbour, in various conditions.
-A large quantity of ammunition and
-stores, and a great number of cannon for the
-equipment of ships, were found in the arsenal, exclusive
-of the guns and mortars that were on the
-batteries, many of which were brass.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The army lay among the sand-hills, where it
-had fought on the day of landing, until the 1st
-September, when the artillery and cavalry being
-landed, it moved forward into the interior of the
-country. Our regiment left the Helder, another
-occupying it, and joined the army, which took up
-a position in the afternoon, upon one of those huge
-dykes that are in Holland, which extended from
-the German Ocean, where we posted our right, to
-the Zuyder-sea, where we posted our left, a distance
-of about eight miles. We occupied it, at
-all the parts that were passable, and threw up
-works upon it, particularly at the extremities. It
-formed a most excellent position of defence in
-such a flat country, on account of its thickness
-and height. The top of it was so broad that any
-carriages had full liberty to pass, and was one of
-the best roads in the country; and it was not
-made in a straight line, but bent in curves, like
-the bastions of a garrison line wall. A large ditch
-runs the whole length in front of it, with large reservoirs
-of water in the curves. The use of this
-dyke was to prevent the rain that falls in the winter,
-on the south side of it, from flooding the country
-on the north side, where the level is lower.
-The reservoirs in the curves of the dyke receive
-the water, and there are sluices that are opened to
-allow it to pass by degrees, under the dyke, into a
-large canal, a little in the rear of it, from whence
-it is let out into the sea, when the tide is low.
-We had no tents, but were lodged in the farm
-houses, which, in Holland, are large, and of a
-peculiar construction, having the byre, stable, hayloft,
-and barn, under one large oblong square roof,
-made of thatch. A great number of these houses
-were ranged at such regular distances, along the
-banks of the canals, in the rear of the dyke, that
-they formed convenient cantonments; and each
-house contained from one to two hundred, who
-slept in a loft among the hay, without any other
-covering than their great coats and the hay. The
-fields are all divided by broad and deep ditches, in
-place of hedges, which are only to be seen upon
-parts of the road sides, and round the orchards at
-the farm houses and gentlemen's seats. All the
-ditches have communications with the large canals
-that communicate with the sea. A great number
-of wind-mills are employed in forcing the water
-up into the canals, which are above the level of
-the ground in the winter time, and in forcing the
-water into the ditches whose elevation is highest,
-from whence it flows over locks into the lower
-ditches in the summer season, so that the ditches
-are always full. The apparatus of the wind-mills
-is simple: a number of long broad paddles are
-fixed in an axle, the lower ends of which dip into a
-box of little more than their own breadth, into
-which the water of the lower level flows, and the
-rapidity with which the paddles are driven makes
-them throw the water off their flat sides, to all the
-height that is needed. The country being below
-the level of the sea, there are no spring-wells of
-fresh water in it. The rain that falls on the roofs
-of their houses is conveyed into a cistern, built of
-brick, sunk in the ground at the side of the door,
-or under one of the corners of the house, and some
-of them have an opening into the cistern both within
-and on the outside of the house. The Dutch are
-proverbial for their cleanliness and ingenious industry.
-I admired, among other things, their way
-of churning their butter. A large wheel, with a
-broad rim, the spokes of which were fastened to
-the one side of the rim, was fixed upon a nave in
-the wall, at one of the corners of the house, with
-the spokes next to the wall; small pieces of wood
-were nailed across the inside of the rim; a belt
-that was upon the rim turned a crank that was
-above it; the churn stood on the floor under the
-crank which lifted the churn staff up and down;
-there was a close lid upon the churn, with a slit
-in the centre, in which the churn staff moved, so
-much of which was flat as allowed it to move in
-the slit. The wheel was turned round by a dog,
-who was put into the inside of the rim upon the
-open side; he catched the small cross pieces of
-wood, that were on the inside of the fore part of
-the rim, at some height, with his feet, and the
-weight of his body turned the wheel. The poor
-dog was tied by a cord round his neck at such a
-height, to an upright post at the side of the fore
-part of the wheel, that if he did not work he would
-be hanged. There were generally two dogs employed,
-the one relieving the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The Dutchmen wear large small-clothes and
-cocked hats; the women wear stays and hoops in
-their petticoats, and low crowned broad brimmed
-straw hats; but I did not see any that were gaudy,
-or ragged, in any part of the country I was in.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the <abbr title='tenth'>10th</abbr> of September, 1799, the enemy,
-having received accessions to their number, attacked
-us in our position. It was known to them,
-that we were shortly to receive large reinforcements;
-and they determined to attack us before
-these arrived. A strong party attacked the position
-entrusted to our regiment, which was the first
-time that we were in actual action with an enemy.
-The dyke sheltered us from their shot; for when
-they drew near, we stood on the top of it and fired
-a volley or two, which drove them back, and then
-we sheltered ourselves from the fire of their artillery
-by sitting down on the near side of it. The
-shot whistled over our heads, and fell, when its
-strength was spent, on the ground in our rear.
-The enemy was repulsed at all points with loss.
-Our regiment's loss was small; one man killed,
-and the captain of the grenadiers, and three men
-wounded. General Moore was also slightly wounded.
-When the main body of the enemy retreated,
-a number of their riflemen remained behind them,
-under the cover of a house that was near the dyke;
-one of them came from under the cover, and ran
-to join the main body; he was instantly fired at I
-dare say by twenty; yet he got clear off, without
-any appearance of being hurt. The risk that he
-ran deterred the remainder from following him,
-and they surrendered themselves prisoners of war,
-in number about one hundred.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Shortly after the action of the <abbr title='tenth'>10th</abbr>, a number
-of troops arrived from England, along with the
-Duke of York, who took the chief command of
-the army. A large body of Russian troops also
-joined us, which increased our number to about
-thirty-five thousand. And on the <abbr title='nineteenth'>19th</abbr> September
-the whole moved forward to attack the enemy.
-Sir Ralph Abercrombie, with about eight or ten
-thousand men, of which our brigade was a part,
-marched the preceding night past the right flank
-of the enemy, and took the town of Hoorn by surprise.
-We were now a good way in the rear of
-the enemy's right, and it was intended that the
-Duke of York, with the main body of the army,
-should dislodge the enemy from his positions, and
-that we should then attack them on their flank and
-rear, and cut off their retreat.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The Duke was successful at the outset of the
-action, but the Russians under his command falling
-into disorder, the enemy rallied upon them,
-repulsed them, and took a great number of them
-prisoners, which compelled the Duke to retreat.
-We heard the firing of the cannon while we lay
-on our arms, waiting for orders to move, but, when
-word was brought that the Duke of York had been
-driven back, we retired the same way that we
-came, and were not engaged in this action. We
-began now to say that we were a lucky regiment;
-various expressions were used by the soldiers,
-when speaking of our good luck, (as it was called)
-some of them very foolish, which I do not mention.
-Some said, that there were too many old women
-in Scotland, praying for their children and friends,
-to allow us to be exposed to great danger. I began
-to reflect seriously upon our past preservation, and
-the bad improvement that we were making of it;
-and the thought made me tremble: I thought, "It
-<i>may be</i>, that God has been more favourable to us
-than to others, on account of the prayers of godly
-relatives at home; but his kindness has a claim
-upon <i>our gratitude</i>, and if it does not produce gratitude
-from <i>us to him</i>, he may be provoked to punish
-us severely, and make his punishment in proportion
-to his past kindness; and the longer that he
-bears with us, the stroke may be the heavier when
-it comes; and although we have as yet escaped
-more than other regiments, in the next battle it
-may be, that for hardening ourselves in sin, and
-flattering ourselves with security, on account of
-the prayers of godly relatives, we may suffer more
-severely than any others:"&mdash;and my fears were
-not groundless.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The sand-hills which run along the sea coast
-from Helder, terminated a little in the rear of
-Patten, where our right was posted, and commenced
-again about three miles farther south, in
-our front. An embankment of sand fills up this
-breach, and prevents the sea from flowing over
-the flat country. Tufts of strong straw are set in
-the sand in regular rows, like plants in a garden,
-the whole breadth and length of the embankment.
-The tops of the tufts rise upwards of a foot above
-the surface of the sand, and the sand that is washed
-up by the tide or blown by the wind, lodges
-about their roots, and as the tufts are regularly renewed,
-they not only preserve this bank of light
-sand from diminishing, but also increase its size
-and solidity. The left of the enemy's army was
-posted at the commencement of the sand-hills. It
-was determined that Sir Ralph Abercrombie, with
-a division of British troops, should attack the enemy
-posted there, while the Duke of York, with
-the other division of the army, should attack
-their positions in the flat country. We left our
-cantonments before one o'clock of the morning
-of the <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> October, and assembled before day-break
-on the beach in front of the enemy's
-lines. At day-break we began to drive in their
-outposts; and continued to advance along the sea-side,
-while another part of the army advanced
-along the inland side of the sand-hills, with a line
-of communication across them. The breadth of
-the beach along which we advanced was various:
-(the attack had been several days delayed, on account
-of stormy weather, which drove the sea so
-far upon the beach, as to leave no passage betwixt
-the sand-hills and the water:) it admitted sometimes
-of two or three companies to march abreast,
-and sometimes scarcely of one. We had four
-pieces of cannon in front, which fired upon the
-enemy, who retired along the beach as we advanced.
-I passed close by a man who had been
-struck with a cannon ball upon the knee joint; the
-ball had carried away the joint, and left a ligament
-of skin on each side of it, which held the
-leg suspended to the thigh. A little farther, I
-passed near a man who lay stretched upon his
-back, dead;&mdash;his eyes and countenance had something
-in them peculiarly dreadful; yet he appeared
-to be only shot through the thigh with a musket
-ball:&mdash;but it was the centre of it, and it had
-proved instantly mortal. I was so struck with this
-man's ghastly appearance, that I thought with myself,
-"Were I a poet, I would choose, as my subject,
-the horrors of war, that I might persuade
-mankind not to engage in it."&mdash;As we continued
-to advance, the sand-hills increased in breadth,
-which required additional troops to fill up the line
-of communication across them; we who remained
-upon the beach, saw nothing that was doing in
-the interior of the sand-hills; and as the firing
-there was only musketry, the roar of the sea upon
-the beach prevented us from hearing it, except
-when it was close to us. We had frequent and
-long pauses, waiting for the movement of others.
-There was a great deal of bloodshed in the interior
-of the sand-hills, by the continued skirmishing,
-and detached attacks upon particular points.&mdash;These
-sand-hills were admirably adapted for this
-mode of warfare; the enemy would have been
-much more easily driven out of trenches;&mdash;for the
-sand-hills were the same as a succession of trenches,
-so that when the enemy saw our troops advancing,
-they continued to fire upon us until they
-saw that we were just near enough to allow them
-time safely to retire to the next range of hills. The
-sand-hills are not much unlike snow blown into
-wreaths, by a strong wind: they are various in
-their heights and shapes; some being conical and
-steep, and others running in winding ridges; and
-the sand is so light, as to be carried about with the
-wind. It is extremely difficult to walk amongst it,
-being like dry snow, a little hard on the surface,
-which when once broken, is almost impassable:
-here and there, there are chasms, and hollow flats
-of various extents among them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Towards the afternoon we drew near a place
-called Egmont, a small fishing town among the
-sand-hills, near to where the battle of Camperdown
-was fought. Here the enemy had drawn a
-number of fishing sloops and schuyts upon the
-beach, in two lines, leaving intervals between
-them, for their troops to pass. These formed a
-cover to their columns from our shot, and concealed
-their cavalry from our view. During the action
-they had received a reinforcement, which they
-pushed along the sand-hills close to the beach.
-The line across these, owing to their increased
-breadth, now occupied all the regiments of our
-division but ourselves. The enemy began to press
-hard upon the troops that were near us, and so
-posted themselves as to annoy us who were standing
-upon the beach; we were a considerable time
-exposed to this, and had a number both of officers
-and men wounded, amongst which was Lord
-Huntly, our Colonel, and a son of Sir Ralph
-Abercrombie, who was at that time an ensign in
-the regiment. A situation of this kind is the most
-irksome for a soldier to be in; for when actively
-engaged, the fury and bustle of action, to a considerable
-degree, banishes the dread of danger from
-the mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the march along the beach, and the frequent
-pauses we made, my mind had time for
-serious reflection; I was alive to a sense of present
-danger; and having no well grounded hope for
-eternity should death be the issue, was led to pray
-earnestly to God for mercy. While standing exposed
-to the fire of the enemy, and the balls whistling
-over us and amongst us, my former sins came
-into my mind, with all my broken vows and resolutions;
-my past ingratitude stared me in the face,
-and made me tremble, but a sense of present danger
-made me pray earnestly for mercy to pardon
-my sins, and to preserve my life; I confessed that
-I did not deserve what I sought, but I cast myself
-on the mercy of God, and with increasing fortitude,
-as I thought, resolved once more to forsake
-every sin, and live only to him.&mdash;The enemy
-having increased in numbers, the troops in the
-sand-hills next to the beach began to give way.
-Four companies detached from our regiment, with
-Sir John Moore at their head, went to reinforce
-them; but they were also soon overpowered; and
-Sir John was wounded in three parts of the body,
-and with difficulty escaped being taken prisoner;
-the remaining six companies were then ordered to
-form in three divisions, and march forward along
-the beach, and then to wheel to our left, and
-charge the enemy. I was in the front division.
-We marched forward, and passed a number of the
-enemy's troops, and came to a place where there
-was a more than ordinary opening, and the sand
-rose pretty high, in the form of a semicircle; into
-this opening we wheeled, and were instantly exposed
-to a fire upon both our flanks and front.
-This staggered us, and we began to fire upon the
-enemy, in place of pushing instantly forward to
-that part of the height that was on our right,
-driving the enemy from it, and taking up a position
-there, from which we could have done them
-more harm, and not have been so much exposed
-ourselves. We continued to stand still and fire for
-a few seconds, and then began to move forward,
-firing as we advanced; the other two divisions had
-wheeled into various openings in the sand-hills in
-our rear, at the same time that we did. They
-were strongly opposed by the enemy, who were
-very superior in number; but hearing the firing of
-our division in their rear, the enemy who opposed
-them began to retreat into the interior of the sand-hills;
-those who opposed us did the same, and we
-continued to pursue them; but the action soon became
-on both sides quite irregular; for the sand-hills
-separated us into parties, so that the one party
-frequently did not see what the other was doing,
-and, in some instances, parties of our troops came
-suddenly upon parties of the enemy. In one instance,
-one of our parties having climbed to the top
-of a sand ridge, found that a party of the enemy
-was just beneath, and instantly rushed down the
-ridge upon them; but the side of the ridge was so
-steep and soft, that the effort to keep themselves
-from falling prevented them from making regular
-use of their arms. They were involuntarily precipitated
-amongst the enemy, and the bottom of
-the ridge was so narrow, and the footing on all
-sides so soft, that neither party were able, for want
-of room, to make use of the bayonet; but they
-struck at each other with the butts of their firelocks,
-and some individuals were fighting with
-their fists.&mdash;For three quarters of an hour we
-maintained a furious action, and drove the enemy
-to a considerable distance; but so many had been
-killed, and wounded, and scattered, that the officers
-could no longer collect any great number into
-one body. We then began to retreat: the enemy
-turned upon us, and we lost a number of men by
-their fire during the retreat. Our previous advance
-had exhausted our bodily strength, and we
-were much in want of water. I was very thirsty,
-and began to grow very weak. In the course
-of the retreat we came to a pretty steep rise of
-sand. I felt myself unable to go over it in a straight
-line, so had to make a circuit, to get over it where
-it was lower; although it was almost a matter of
-life and death with me, for a party of the enemy
-was close behind us. As I was making this circuit,
-a party, I think in number about six or seven,
-fired at me all at once; (I was their only object;)
-and I distinctly observed several balls strike the
-sand ridge, both before and behind me, about
-breast high. I really believe that had I been a
-span-breadth farther forward or backwards from
-the spot where I at the moment was, there would
-have been several balls through my body. Before
-any more fired at me, I got over the ridge, which
-then secured me; and I joined the regiment, which
-was near, and had taken up a position in the interior
-of the sand-hills; and some fresh troops
-arriving, the enemy was repulsed.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I no doubt had many hair-breadth escapes
-during the action, of which I was insensible; but
-the one I have mentioned, appeared to me as a
-wonderful mercy of Providence, and I looked upon
-it as laying me under an additional obligation to devote
-my whole life to the service of God. If I was
-bound to serve him, because he was my Creator,
-I was now doubly bound to serve him, for my
-wonderful preservation; and I thought that the ties
-by which I was now bound, would undoubtedly
-have this effect. I thought I should never indulge
-in any thing that was sinful; but I was still blind
-to my own weakness; I had thought the same
-thing, and had promised accordingly, in prayer to
-God, at the outset of the action; yet the action
-was scarcely begun, before I joined my comrades
-in furious, opprobrious, and profane language
-against the enemy. Many sins were thus unobserved
-by me, and did not affect my conscience at
-the time.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the time that we were engaged in the
-interior of the sand-hills, the enemy, seeing no infantry
-on the beach to protect our guns, sent out
-his cavalry, from their covert at Egmont, to seize
-them. Our cavalry had gone into the chasms of
-the sand-hills, that were next the beach, a little in
-the rear, to shelter themselves from the fire of the
-enemy's cannon. They formed upon the beach,
-and sprang forward to meet the enemy, who had,
-by this time, reached the guns. They charged
-the enemy briskly, and drove them back with considerable
-loss, and pursued them close to Egmont.
-But, what is something singular, the infantry parties
-of French and British, that were on the sand-hills
-next the beach, suspended, as it were by
-mutual consent, their firing, to become spectators
-of the cavalry, and did not commence again until
-the contest of the cavalry was decided.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The firing ceased sometime before sunset; I was
-much in want of water, and went along with
-another to search for it. We found it at last, in
-the hollow of the opening of the sand-hills, into
-which we had wheeled when we left the beach
-and engaged the enemy. There had been a good
-deal of rain some days before: and the trampling
-of our feet upon the surface of the sand had brought
-water to it, which being observed by some who
-came to the place afterwards, they dug a small
-hole in the sand, and put into it the sides of an
-empty broken ammunition box, which served for
-cradling; and the hole was soon filled with good
-water. A number more of such kind of wells were
-presently made, and plenty of water got, which
-supplied both horse and foot. We filled our canteens;
-and then went to look among the dead and
-wounded, for a comrade, of whom we could get
-no certain account. The spectacle of the dead,
-the dying, and the wounded, greatly affected me.
-The dead were lying stiff on the ground, in various
-postures; but death had so altered their countenances,
-that of all that I saw, belonging to the
-regiment, with many of whom I had been familiar,
-I knew only two; and it was by peculiar marks,
-such as death could not alter, that we distinguished
-even them. The groaning of the wounded was
-very afflicting; for they were mostly bad cases, all
-that were able to walk or crawl having removed
-farther to the rear; and all the assistance that
-could be given to those who were unable to move,
-was to carry them from the spot where they were
-lying, to a place of greater shelter. This had been
-in part already done, and the wounded were lying
-in groupes, in the best sheltered hollows adjacent
-to the beach. The universal cry of these poor men
-was for water. I supplied them as far as I was
-able, both enemies and friends, and amongst the
-rest one of our own officers, who was most severely
-wounded. I had to hold him up and put
-the canteen to his mouth, for he was unable to
-help himself; he died during the night. We did
-not find the object of our search; but we got afterwards
-certain account of his having been wounded,
-and probable accounts of his death; and we never
-heard more of him.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I returned to join the regiment, ruminating on
-the affecting sight I had seen, and grieved for the
-loss of comrades and acquaintances. When the
-regiment was mustered in the evening, about one
-half were amissing; but about thirty joined in a
-day or two after, who had lost the regiment. We
-were upwards of 600 strong; and our loss in killed,
-wounded and prisoners (of whom there were
-40), was 288. The company to which I belonged,
-entered the field with 59 rank and file, and
-three serjeants, out of which 5 were killed on the
-field, and 24 were wounded, 5 of whom died in a
-few days, and three shortly after. Of the rest,
-few recovered, so as to be fit for service. The
-regiment had suffered this severe loss in about three
-quarters of an hour. There was a universal gloom
-upon every countenance, when we looked to the
-smallness of our number, when we were mustered;
-and there was no one, but what had lost comrades
-and associates, and some had lost relatives. After
-it was dark, we planted our picquets, and the
-remainder of us lay down among the sand. I reflected
-upon my own escape&mdash;upon the great number
-who had already been launched into eternity,
-and others whom I had seen groaning under the
-pain of wounds, which would soon prove mortal to
-many of them. I thanked God for his kindness
-to me, and promised to keep his commandments
-in future.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We lay three days among the sand hills: the
-weather was cold; the nights stormy and wet.&mdash;We
-were waiting for the movements of the other
-divisions of the army, in the interior of the country.
-The day after the battle, we buried such of our
-dead as were adjacent to us. One man belonging
-to the company I was in, was found dead, without
-any mark of violence on his body. He was lying
-on the ascent of a sand-ridge, and had fallen on
-the retreat. We conjectured, that fatigue and
-want of water had occasioned his death. I was
-informed of another singular case: A Frenchman
-and a Highlander had charged upon each other;
-the Frenchman had parried the thrust of the Highlander,
-and run him through the body; the Highlander
-had then let go his hold of the butt end of
-his piece with his right hand, and seized, with a
-death-grasp, the throat of the Frenchman; who,
-to extricate himself, had also let go the hold which
-he had of his firelock with his right hand, and
-seized the wrist of the Highlander, to pull it away
-from his throat; but he had been unable:&mdash;the
-Frenchman had then staggered backwards, and
-had fallen on his back; and the Highlander above
-him, still retaining hold of his throat; and, in the
-struggle that had then taken place, the head of the
-Highlander had projected so far over the head of
-the Frenchman, as to bring that part of the body
-of the former in which the bayonet was, over the
-mouth of the latter; and in this posture both had
-expired. Those who saw it, said, the sight was
-truly shocking. The Frenchman was fairly strangled;
-his eyes were out of their sockets; his tongue
-was greatly swelled, and thrust far out of his
-mouth, into which the blood from the wound of
-the Highlander was running. Each still held a
-firm hold of his firelock with his left hand; and
-when the Highlander was removed from the
-Frenchman, and laid along-side of him, he still
-kept such a firm grasp of his throat, that he raised
-the body of the Frenchman from the ground, and
-it was with difficulty it was extricated from the
-hold.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The result of the battle of the <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> October compelled
-the enemy to abandon his positions, and
-evacuate the town of Alkmaar, which was his head
-quarters, and fall back nearer to Amsterdam.&mdash;Alkmaar
-was occupied by our troops on the <abbr title='third'>3d</abbr>,
-and as our brigade had been much reduced in number,
-we were ordered to go there to form a part of
-its intended garrison. The peninsula is here of
-considerable breadth, and the country much superior
-to that on the north side of the long dyke, but
-it is still intersected with deep broad ditches and
-canals, which greatly impede military operations.
-The rain that had lately fallen had filled the canals
-and ditches so full of water, that the edges
-and lower parts of the roads were beginning to be
-covered, as we passed from Egmont to Alkmaar;
-and as the roads, for want of stone, were made of
-earth, or a slight layer of sand upon earth or clay,
-they were beginning to be deep. There are narrow
-foot-paths laid with brick, between some of
-the towns. Alkmaar is a town of considerable
-size, surrounded with a high mound of earth and
-a canal; all the entrances to it are over drawbridges
-and through gates, the principal of which
-have cannon mounted on them. The streets are
-paved with whinstone in the centre, and on the
-sides with brick or flags, and a number of large
-canals run through the centre of the principal of
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We entered the town on the <abbr title='fifth'>5th</abbr>, and next day,
-which was Sunday, the garrison was taken to the
-church, to attend divine service. The Dutch congregation
-had been dismissed; but their minister,
-and a number of others, remained, to be a witness
-of our service. The church was large, and of
-Gothic structure, and had the largest and most
-highly ornamented organ I ever saw. The enemy
-had received reinforcements the day before, and
-he commenced an attack upon the positions of the
-army, at the time we were in the church. The
-prayers of the liturgy had been read, and the minister
-had begun his sermon, when we began to
-hear the noise of cannon at a distance; by the time
-the sermon was ended, the firing of cannon had
-approached nearer the town and was beginning to
-be heavy, and the musketry was heard to mingle
-in the roar; and the large organ played Malbrouk
-as we left the church, to repair to our alarm posts.
-The action continued to be warmly contested, until
-after it was dark; but the enemy was repulsed,
-and fell back to his position, and one hundred and
-eighty-eight prisoners were taken, and brought
-into Alkmaar on the morning of the <abbr title='seventh'>7th</abbr>.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>About two o'clock in the afternoon the prisoners
-were assembled, and a captain and forty men, of
-whom I was one, were appointed to escort them to
-our former head-quarters, on the north side of the
-long dyke. Only thirty of the prisoners were
-French; the others were Dutchmen, and had put
-up the orange cockade after they were made prisoners.
-Numbers of them had money, with which
-they procured gin before we left the town; and
-they drank and sung songs (which we believed
-were in praise of their former government), as we
-went along the road. The Frenchmen, who were
-enthusiastic republicans, scorned the Dutch for
-putting up the orange cockade, and kept by themselves,
-on the front of the party. We kept them
-all in good humour, and until the fatigue of travelling
-had exhausted our strength, the march of
-the prisoners resembled more the merry air of a
-wedding procession, than of that gloom which the
-thought of their being under an escort of their enemies,
-and on the way to a prison in a foreign land,
-might naturally be expected to produce. It continued
-to rain upon us the greater part of the way,
-this, with the deepness of the roads and the length
-of the journey, fatigued us exceedingly, and scattered
-us into parties; yet, notwithstanding of this,
-and although a great part of the journey was performed
-after it was dark, and although the prisoners
-were in their own country, none of them attempted
-to escape. When we had delivered them
-over to another guard, to watch them through the
-night, we retired to rest in the expectation of returning
-to Alkmaar next day, but we were surprised
-to hear in the morning, that the army was
-retreating; and in a few hours, the various divisions
-arrived and resumed the positions they had
-occupied previous to the battle of the <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr>.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The reasons of this retrograde movement were
-the badness of the roads from Helder to the interior.
-The army received its bread from the fleet,
-and all the ammunition and military stores; the
-roads were becoming impassable, and the farther
-we advanced, the difficulties of fetching our supplies
-from the Helder were increasing. The
-French armies in Switzerland, and on the Rhine,
-had gained decisive victories, which enabled them
-to detach large bodies of troops, which were on
-their way, to reinforce their army in Holland,
-which would then become so strong as to be able
-to overpower us. It had, therefore, been determined
-to retreat while the roads were passable,
-lest our retreat might be cut off. The army retired
-from all its positions early in the morning,
-and the rear guard left Alkmaar early in the day.&mdash;The
-enemy, after being repulsed on the <abbr title='sixth'>6th</abbr>, was
-apprehensive that we might attack him, and was
-prepared, in that case, to retire to Haarlem; our
-retreating was not expected by him, and it was
-about 10 o'clock in the forenoon before his advanced
-cavalry picquets discerned that Alkmaar
-was evacuated, when they entered and found a
-few drunken women and soldiers, whose intoxication
-prevented them from knowing that the army
-had retreated. In a few days after the retreat of
-the army, an armistice was agreed upon, the conditions
-of which were, that we should evacuate
-Holland by the end of November, and release eight
-thousand prisoners without exchange, as a boon
-for our being allowed quietly to re-embark. This
-agreement put an end to hostilities, and preparations
-were made to send home the troops with all
-possible expedition; but, before we left the country,
-I caught the ague, and after we had arrived in England,
-in the beginning of November, 1799, I was
-put into the hospital in Chelmsford, twenty-six
-miles from London. I was greatly reduced in
-body before I recovered, which was not until the
-beginning of the next year, 1800.&mdash;God's mercy
-in granting me a recovery from the ague, impressed
-my mind with the additional obligations I was now
-laid under to serve him:&mdash;but, as formerly, my
-resolutions of mind were soon broken; conscience
-soon found matter of accusation against me; I was
-at times careless and listless, and at other times
-thoughtful and pensive. The barracks in which
-we lay, were about a mile from the town of Chelmsford.
-There was a tabernacle in the town, where
-there was a sermon once a fortnight in the evening.
-I went several times to it; and the sermons served
-to awaken my religious impressions. One
-evening, the preacher described a case of conscience;
-which I thought not unlike my own; and
-among other directions, he exhorted the person
-who might be in such a case, to lay it before God
-in prayer. After the service was over, I shunned
-my companions; returned to the barracks alone,
-and prayed to God for light and direction as I
-went along the road; and I set about reforming my
-conduct once more. But I soon fell through it,
-and was thrown as far back as ever.&mdash;There were
-no religious meetings in the regiment, from the
-time we left Ireland until a good while after this.</p>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap4' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='four'>IV.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>We left Chelmsford on the <abbr title='fourteenth'>14th</abbr> of April, and
-marched to the Isle of Wight, where we lay until
-the <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr> May. I was once in the Methodist
-meeting house while we lay in the town of Newport.
-On the <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr> May, 1800, we embarked on
-board the Diadem, 64 guns, and the Inconstant
-frigate, both armed <i>en flute</i> (<i>i. e.</i> partially armed),
-and fitted for the reception of troops. We left all
-our women and heavy baggage in the Isle of Wight;
-and as we were not informed where we were going,
-this circumstance led us to conjecture, that
-we were destined for some desperate and secret
-enterprise. We were joined by some more ships
-with troops, and sailed down the English channel,
-until we fell in with the Channel fleet, under the
-command of Sir John Jarvis. Sir Edward Pellew,
-(now Lord Exmouth,) was sent along with
-us, with a squadron of eight ships of war. It was
-a magnificent sight to see the Channel fleet in regular
-order. They were in number forty-four ships
-of the line, (a large proportion of them three-deckers)
-and a number of frigates. We sailed
-along the cost of France until we came to the bay
-of Quiberon, where we came to an anchor on the
-<abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> June, near a small island called Houet, lying
-betwixt the isle of Belleisle and the main land,
-about four or five miles from the latter, and six or
-seven from Belleisle.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the <abbr title='fourth'>4th</abbr>, which was the anniversary of his
-Majesty's birth, a singular occurrence took place.
-A sloop of war, and a number of boats armed with
-carronades, having detachments of troops in them,
-were despatched in the morning, to attack a battery
-situated on a projecting point of the main
-land, where it approaches nearest to Belleisle, and
-from which ships coming to our present anchorage,
-were liable to be fired upon. It lay about eight
-or ten miles from us: but as the wind was light,
-the sloop of war and the boats did not get near the
-battery, until it was past twelve o'clock. The
-battery then opened a fire from two 24 pounders,
-which played briskly upon them. The day was
-fine and clear, which permitted us to see the smoke
-of every gun that was fired, and where the shot
-struck the water. We looked on with eager anxiety,
-and observed all the movements of the sloop
-of war and the boats. It was near one o'clock
-before she was in a position to return the fire of
-the battery, which she did briskly. The armed
-boats then pulled towards the shore, under cover of
-her fire. At one o'clock they were close to the
-battery, and commenced a smart fire upon it from
-their carronades, and the contest was at the hottest,
-just at the instant that the ships we were in,
-were firing the salute in honour of his Majesty's
-birth day. The enemy precipitately retired from
-the battery, and the troops and seamen landed, dismounted
-the guns, broke the carriages, and did
-what other damage they could, and then returned
-to the fleet. We all remarked the singularity of
-the circumstance, that while we were saluting with
-blank shot, they were saluting with round, double
-headed, and grape shot, in real earnest, by which
-several lives were lost, and some were wounded,
-besides other damages.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We landed on the island of Houet on the <abbr title='sixth'>6th</abbr> June.
-It was a small place, almost destitute of cultivation,
-and only a little fishing village on it. Some
-more ships arrived from England with troops, and
-preparations were made for attacking Belleisle.
-On the <abbr title='fifteenth'>15th</abbr> June, we were embarked on board
-the ships of the line, in order to go near the island,
-and make our debarkation from them, under the
-cover of their guns. Our regiment was wholly on
-board of the Terrible, 74. We were five days in
-this ship; and here there were a number of the
-sailors, who were serious, and united together few
-prayer and praise; some of them were known to
-several of our men; the seamen were all very kind,
-and uncommonly obliging to us; every thing was
-orderly and quiet; religion appeared to have so far
-prevailed in this ship, as to give a general tone to
-the manners and conversation of the seamen; so
-that they were not like the same kind of men that
-we met with in other ships of war. Those men,
-who were not religious, did not make a mock at
-religion; and those who were serious, were in the
-habit of having what might be called public prayers
-between decks, at stated periods. This was intimated
-through the ship, by two or more individuals
-going round and informing the sailors that
-there were to be prayers at such a gun, say, <abbr title='number'>No.</abbr> 9
-or 10, on the starboard or larboard side. At
-these public meetings, I understood, that one or
-other of them addressed their fellow seamen.&mdash;In
-these practices they appeared to be protected
-by their officers; and they held a meeting
-for prayer and praise, on the forecastle,
-evening and morning: I had some conversation
-with some of them who were natives of
-Scotland; but I was never actually present at any
-of the meetings. We were so crowded, that it
-was with difficulty we could move from one part
-of the ship to another; and we durst never be any
-time absent from the place where our arms were,
-lest we should lose them, and not find them readily,
-as we were under orders to be ready at a moment's
-notice to go into the boats. Our coming to this
-ship, was one of the steps of divine Providence for
-my good; for seeing and hearing something of religion
-in it, awakened once more in my heart, a
-concern for my soul; and, although it wore off, as
-before, it was a means of preventing me from becoming
-confirmed in a state of careless indifference.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the <abbr title='eighteenth'>18th</abbr> June, the Captain 74, while under
-sail, happened to approach the shore, and went
-within reach of shot. When she put about, to
-stand out from the shore, she was fired upon from
-several points nearly in the same instant, and received
-some damage before she got out of reach.
-The batteries which fired upon her were concealed
-from view; and we were informed, that the
-shore was defended by batteries, at all the points
-where it was convenient to land. We were waiting
-for the arrival of some more troops from England,
-which were hourly expected, but did not
-arrive.&mdash;On the <abbr title='twentieth'>20th</abbr>, the enterprise was given up.
-It was said, that during the hazy weather, which
-had prevented us from seeing to any distance, re-enforcements
-had been sent into Belleisle. We
-returned to the isle of Houet, and to our tents,
-which had been left standing. Our number was
-said to be about 5000. On the next day, orders
-arrived for us to embark, which was done; and
-we sailed on the day following under sealed orders,
-and left the ships of war that belonged to the
-Channel fleet.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We had a pleasant and quick passage to the
-Straits of Gibraltar, where our Commodore informed
-us, that we were destined for the island of Minorca,
-to join an expedition that was forming under
-Sir Ralph Abercrombie, to assist the Austrians in
-Italy. We passed through the Straits, but did not
-touch at Gibraltar. We arrived at Minorca on
-the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr> July. We then learned, that Sir Ralph
-Abercrombie had already been at Leghorn; but
-that the Austrians having sustained a severe defeat
-from the French, under Buonaparte, had made
-an agreement, which did not allow of British
-troops being landed, and that Sir Ralph had
-brought back what troops he had to Minorca.
-We landed for refreshment and exercise on the 7th
-of August, and the whole regiment embarked
-again, on the <abbr title='thirtieth'>30th</abbr>, on board of the Stately, 64.
-We sailed on the <abbr title='thirty-first'>31st</abbr> for Gibraltar, where we
-arrived on the <abbr title='fourteenth'>14th</abbr> September. We were there
-joined by another expedition, under the command
-of Sir James Pulteney. They had sailed from
-England in the beginning of July, and had made a
-descent on the coast of Spain at Ferrol, but had
-not effected any thing, except alarming the country.
-There was now a large body of troops on
-board this fleet; their number being about 25000.
-There were in all, upwards of 100 sail of large
-ships; two-thirds of which were war vessels of
-one description or other. We were in want of
-water, to get which, we went to Tetuan bay,
-which is on the Barbary shore, to the south-east
-of Gibraltar, belonging to Morocco. Here the
-whole fleet completed their stores of provisions and
-water. We set sail on the <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr>, with an intention
-to pass the straits of Gibraltar; but the wind
-changed, and after beating about, we put back to
-Tetuan on the <abbr title='twenty-ninth'>29th</abbr>. On the <abbr title='first'>1st</abbr> October, the
-wind having become fair, we set sail, passed
-through the Straits, and anchored next day near
-to Cadiz in Spain. On the <abbr title='third'>3d</abbr> of October we got
-orders to be in readiness to land. A flag of truce
-came from the shore to the Admiral on the 4th,
-and returned back the same day. On the 6th, the
-day being fine, we weighed anchor and stood across
-the bay of Cadiz, with the intention of landing
-near the town of <abbr title='Saint'>St.</abbr> Mary's. The dispositions
-having been made for landing, the ships of war,
-intended to cover the debarkation, were moving
-towards the shore, and a cutter had gone so near
-as to be fired upon. The first division of troops were
-in the boats, and had rowed off for the shore: we
-were all in readiness, and were receiving our ammunition;
-I had just got mine in six parcels, of
-ten cartridges each, when a flag of truce, which
-we had seen coming from the harbour, reached
-the Admiral's ship; and before I had got the half
-of the cartridges into my pouch, a signal was made
-by the Admiral, for the boats to return, and put
-the troops on board their respective ships, the design
-of landing being relinquished.&mdash;We were
-struck with the suddenness of the change. The
-flag of truce returned to the shore; and a report
-was spread, that the place had been ransomed by
-money; but whether there was any truth in this,
-or whether any political concession had been
-made, can not be known. There was one thing,
-however, and possibly it might be the only thing
-that prevented our landing; the plague was raging
-in Cadiz at the time.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I have been somewhat minute in detailing this
-circumstance; but it has always appeared to me,
-a very striking occurrence in Providence; for, in
-a very few minutes, the war vessels would have
-opened their broadsides upon the troops and batteries
-on shore; the troops in the boats would soon
-have been under the enemy's fire, and probably
-have effected a landing; and, if hostilities had
-once commenced, it is difficult to tell, but the enterprise
-might have been pushed, until Cadiz had
-been taken, and their fleet of war-ships captured
-or destroyed, unless the Spanish force had been too
-strong for us.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>This event once more awakened me, by a sense
-of apparent danger. The prospect of having to
-contend with what troops might be in the field,
-and of having to attack fortified places, and the
-likelihood, that desperate efforts would be made to
-gain our purpose, before the Spaniards should have
-time to collect a large force in the field, made me
-apprehend that the undertaking was one of no ordinary
-danger. My conduct on this occasion
-was similar to what it had been on former occasions.
-I prayed for mercy and preservation. I
-still had no hope for eternity, but what was to
-arise out of future reformation of character, a reformation
-which was yet to begin. As formerly,
-I now again resolved to set about it:&mdash;but we left
-the bay of Cadiz on the <abbr title='seventh'>7th</abbr>, and returned to Tetuan
-bay on the <abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr>, and part of the fleet put into
-Gibraltar: and the danger I had dreaded being thus
-past, the resolution it had excited was soon departed
-from.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>But another danger of a different kind was at
-hand. On the <abbr title='fifteenth'>15th</abbr>, the north-east wind had risen
-to a great height, so that our boats, which had
-gone with empty casks to get water, were obliged
-to return to the ship and leave their casks on shore;
-and the storm kept increasing as the evening drew
-on. At 8 o'clock at night the splice of our cable
-slipped, and we began to drift. As we had only
-one other anchor on board, which was not sufficient
-to ride the storm with, we endeavoured to
-put to sea. It was at a great risk that we effected
-this. We were in the midst of a large fleet, and
-were every moment in danger of running foul of
-one or other of the ships. With difficulty we
-got the fore-sail, and some of the stay-sails set, and,
-although the night was very dark, by the goodness
-of God, we got clear out from the fleet, and steered
-for Gibraltar. When we came there, as we
-passed by the stern of the Admiral's ship, we
-were ordered to pass through the Straits, and anchor
-on the west side of Barbary. We accordingly
-put about, and passed through the Straits
-before the wind, going at the rate of seven miles
-an hour, under our bare poles. We had a large
-flat bottomed boat at our stern, which the stormy
-weather did not permit us to hoist on board; and
-by day-light in the morning, there was nothing of
-it remaining but the keel with the ring-bolt, by
-which it was towed. Before day-break we had
-cleared the Straits of Gibraltar. We then set
-some sail, and stood off and on the Barbary coast,
-until the <abbr title='seventeenth'>17th</abbr>, when, the weather moderating, we
-cast anchor. On the <abbr title='eighteenth'>18th</abbr>, the weather cleared
-up, and we perceived a number of the fleet at anchor
-to windward of us, nearer the shore, at about
-20 miles distance. We weighed anchor and beat
-to windward to join them; but the weather again
-got squally, and about one o'clock a squall overtook
-us, which carried away our main-top, and
-top gallant, and mizen top-gallant masts. We
-shortly after came to anchor near the fleet, and
-the weather becoming moderate, in the course of
-next day, we got our damages pretty well repaired,
-and received an additional anchor from the Ajax
-man of war. On the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> we set sail; passed once
-more through the Straits of Gibraltar; anchored
-in Tetuan bay for the third time on the <abbr title='twenty-sixth'>26th</abbr>; and
-after having completed our water, and received
-some more provisions, we sailed on the 8th Nov.
-for Minorca, to get our provisions and other ship
-stores completed.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We now began to hear that we were bound for
-Egypt. At this we were all very sorry, not knowing
-when we might return, or who might have the
-happiness of seeing their native country again. I
-had often read and heard of the dangerous nature of
-the climate of Egypt and of the disasters of the
-French army there by the plague. The prospect
-now before us made a strong impression on my
-mind. I became more serious; religion began to be
-more attended to by several, and a party for prayer
-and conversation was formed; but I was not one of
-the number, being too proud to associate with them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We made the island of Minorca on the <abbr title='sixteenth'>16th</abbr>;
-but the wind being strong and contrary, we did
-not get into the harbour until the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr>; and having
-obtained what we wanted, we set sail again on
-the <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr> for Malta, where we arrived on the <abbr title='sixth'>6th</abbr>
-December. The day we made the island was
-very fine, and as Malta was a place of note on
-various accounts, and amongst others, as being the
-place where the apostle Paul suffered shipwreck,
-I staid upon deck from the time we came in sight
-of it, which was in the morning, until we were
-anchored in the harbour. As we sailed along the
-island, I anxiously looked for the "<i>place where
-two seas met</i>." As we passed by the small island
-of Comena, the <i>creek</i> where the apostle says they
-thrust in the ship, was easily discerned. It bears
-now the name of <abbr title='Saint'>St.</abbr> Paul's bay, and the channels
-between Comena, Goza, and Malta, meet at it,
-which marks it as the place which Paul describes.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We left Malta on the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr>, and sailed for Marmorice
-bay in Asia. In our voyage, we coasted
-along the whole length of the south side of the
-island of Candia, which is ancient Crete, after
-which we came to the isle of Rhodes, which is
-only about 20 miles distant from the coast of Asia.
-I felt a more than usual interest in looking at
-those places, from what I had read of them in
-history, particularly from what is said of them in the
-Scriptures. Little did I think, in reading of them
-when a boy, that I should one day see them, or
-that I should do the duty of a soldier in the land
-of Egypt.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>From Rhodes we steered direct for the opposite
-coast of Asia, and, entering into a passage of some
-length, between two high hills, we wondered
-where we were going, for we did not see any
-place in this opening fit for ships to lie in, and the
-land on both sides was rocky hills, covered with
-wood, (except where the rocks were completely
-bare of soil,) and appeared to be the habitations of
-wild beasts. When we arrived very near the head
-of the inlet, we were surprised to see a ship that
-was a little ahead of us, get out of our sight almost
-in an instant; but when we had got a little farther,
-we found a passage which turned to the right,
-round a very perpendicular hill, as suddenly as if
-it had been the corner of a street. Into this passage
-we sailed. It was but short, and in a few
-minutes we entered into one of the largest and
-finest bays, it is said, in the world. Here we cast
-anchor on the <abbr title='twenty-ninth'>29th</abbr> December, 1800, and lay until
-the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> February, 1801, making arrangements
-for our attacking the French in Egypt; procuring
-horses for the use of the artillery and cavalry: and
-cutting wood for fuel, and for making fascines and
-pallisades in case they should be needed after we
-landed. The bay is nearly surrounded with high
-hills, which, except in and about the small town of
-Marmorice, are covered with wood, in general
-very thick. There are great numbers of wild
-beasts in the woods, which make so much noise
-in the night time as to be heard over the whole
-bay. There was a small plain on one side of the
-bay, where we pitched tents for those that were
-sick; but there was a necessity to have a guard,
-to keep on fires in the rear of the tents, during the
-night; and some nights the noise of the wild beasts
-indicated their being so near the tents, that the
-sentinels fired to keep them at a distance. Some
-seamen belonging to one of the war ships, who
-were cutting wood at one place, ventured to stay
-all night on the shore; they were killed by the
-wild beasts before morning.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We were not long in this place until a market
-was erected on shore, and vessels from the adjacent
-coast soon found their way to it, with all
-kinds of fruit, and sheep and goats, and other useful
-articles; so that that part of the shore assumed
-the appearance of one of our country fairs. The
-soil around the bay is to all appearance fertile;
-but cultivation has been on the decline for a long
-time past, which has allowed the wood to extend,
-in several places, to the very shores. At some
-distant period the shores seem to have been better
-peopled, and the wood to have been farther back.
-I found the ruins of a house upon the top of a
-small eminence, pretty far back in the woods.
-The walls were partly standing; trees were growing
-out of the floor; a plot of ground, which had
-been levelled for a garden, still retained its shape,
-and had a fine spring of water running through it.
-Land turtle is in plenty in the woods.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I shall now return, to state what were the exercises
-of my mind during the passage up the Mediterranean,
-and while we lay in this bay.&mdash;A book
-upon the first principles of astronomy fell in my
-way. This gave me a new view of creation: and
-at the same time a treatise on Philology came into
-my hands, in which was a descant on the glory of
-God in the works of nature. I had undergone
-some very sharp convictions of sin, my mind had
-been strongly impressed with eternal things, and
-I had persuaded two of my comrades to join with
-me in prayer; which we did on several occasions,
-but fell off from it. After reading the above-mentioned
-books, and several volumes of the
-Spectator, my mind fell into a strange speculative
-frame, on the duty of the creature to glorify its
-Creator, let the Creator do what he will to the
-creature. I reasoned thus with myself:&mdash;That
-every thing that God did was wise and just, therefore
-it was our duty to glorify God for all that he
-did to us, whether it was in judgment or in mercy:
-did he deal with us in mercy&mdash;gratitude ought to
-lead us to glorify him: did he deal with us in judgment&mdash;it
-was our own sins that provoked him to
-do it: he did no more than what was just; and we
-were as really bound to glorify him for his justice,
-as for his mercy; and if we did not do so, we augmented
-our guilt. By reasoning in this way, I
-came at last to a fallacious and very dangerous
-conclusion, under the guise of wisdom. I concluded,
-that if I could not lessen what guilt was
-already contracted, neither altogether avoid contracting
-more, it would be wise to contract as
-little additional guilt as possible; and that, should
-God deal with me in justice, I must not complain
-and murmur; he is holy, just, and wise; he will
-not punish me above what I deserve; whatever he
-does with me, his creature, it becomes me to glorify
-his name, by a cheerful acquiescence in his
-divine procedure; yea, to glorify Him, should I be
-for ever damned. By doing this, I may possibly
-make hell more tolerable than otherwise it would
-be: if I can not escape his justice, by his not granting
-me mercy, let me behave in such a manner as
-may make the consequences of his wrath sit the
-lighter upon me.&mdash;I shudder to think on this part
-of my experience at this day; on the pain of mind
-with which it was accompanied, and the fallacious
-and dangerous opiate which the conclusion contained
-to lull my conscience asleep; for I did in
-consequence fall into a careless and listless state
-of mind. But, by the goodness of God, I was not
-allowed to remain long under it. It happened one
-day shortly after, that, from eating salt provisions,
-and from the extreme scantiness of water, I became
-exceedingly thirsty, and with great difficulty procured
-a little to drink. A thought then shot across
-my mind:&mdash;if I am so impatient under a temporary
-thirst, and so eager to procure relief, how
-shall I preserve my patience in hell?&mdash;if I am so
-unhappy under the pressure of so trivial a circumstance,
-how much more unhappy shall I be, if I
-be cast into everlasting burnings, where I shall
-not have one drop of water to cool my tongue!
-This broke the delusion, but it did not eradicate it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>An infectious fever broke out among us. It was
-at first slow in its progress, but after a short time
-it began to infect numbers. Our condition on
-board the Stately contributed towards it; for we
-had no hammocks, nor beds, but only our camp
-blankets to sleep in; we lay upon the under deck,
-and, when the weather was stormy, so much water
-leaked in by the edges of the ports, as made
-the lee side of the ship very wet. When she
-tacked, the water that was lying in the lee side
-would then run across the whole deck; and although
-we dried it the best way we could, yet we
-were so crowded that we were often under the
-necessity of lying down upon the damp deck.
-This was hurtful to us, causing us to feel stiff, and
-our bones sore; and although it did not <i>produce</i>
-the fever, (for it was introduced by some recruits
-who came on board at Malta,) it was, in my
-opinion, one cause of its spreading so rapidly at
-last.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I caught this fever at the time it began to
-spread, and it was pretty severe upon me. I got
-better, and relapsed, and the second turn of it was
-worse than the first.<a id='r5' /><a href='#f5' class='c006'><sup>[5]</sup></a> While under it I had time
-to consider myself more fully. My present condition
-was so painful, that I would have done all
-in my power, and given all I could possess, to be
-free from it; and yet with my most sanguine
-hopes, I could not expect hell to be one half so
-tolerable. What, thought I, is the glory of God
-to me as a creature? If that same glory only
-renders me miserable, will the misery of my condition
-if I am sent to hell, be in any measure
-alleviated, by the consideration, that the justice of
-God is glorified by my condemnation? It is true,
-I shall not cease to exist; but what pleasure can I
-have in my existence, unless I reap some benefit
-by it, by having some portion of happiness in it?
-If I am made completely miserable, and have no
-prospect of any portion of happiness for the future,
-my existence must prove my greatest misery. He
-who knows all things has said, "Good were it for
-that man, if he had never been born." If the
-justice of God dooms me to suffer for my sins,
-woe is me! I now exist, and I can not annihilate
-myself; nor can I fly from God's justice. I am a
-sinner, and if I receive not mercy, I must be for
-ever miserable! How awful is his justice! How
-great is his power! How daring and delusive the
-thought of hoping to find any portion of happiness
-in that place, where he has declared all is perfect
-misery; where nothing dwells but the terrors of
-the Almighty; where the subjects of his justice are
-a terror to themselves, and to each other; where
-there is nothing but weeping, and wailing, and
-gnashing of teeth!</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As I began to recover, I turned my thoughts
-more closely than before, to those places of Scripture
-which describe hell, the place of torment. I
-examined what the Scripture has said of its awful
-nature; that it is "a fearful thing to fall into the
-hands of the living God;"&mdash;for "who knoweth
-the power of his anger?" and "our God is a consuming
-fire." I found, also, that the Scripture
-evidence of its being endless in its duration, was
-as conclusive as that of the endless duration of the
-happiness of heaven. He who said that the one
-was eternal, said the same of the other. But, when
-contemplating this awful subject, I was at times
-tempted to think, "It may be, that although God
-has said so, he may not intend to execute his
-dreadful threatening to the full extent: there may
-be a future period, in which he will extend mercy to
-his creatures, but which he has kept hid from them,
-for wise purposes, that they might not presume
-on his mercy, and spend their present lives in sin,
-and not repent in this world, because there would
-be an opportunity to repent in the next."&mdash;But this
-reasoning did not long deceive me; for I continued
-to ponder the subject, and I saw that such a notion
-did not consist with the veracity of God. He could
-not say one thing, while he intended another; if I
-admitted that he said one thing and intended
-another, with respect to the duration of punishment
-in hell, it would, with equal consistency,
-apply to what he said of the endless happiness of
-heaven, and so render uncertain any hope that
-might be built upon the promise of it; and if the
-principle were in one case admitted, it would
-throw loose all his promises and threatenings, respecting
-both this world and the next; for we should
-still have room to think, God has said so, but he does
-not mean so.&mdash;I also reflected, if God has said,
-that the punishment of hell shall be eternal, and
-has a secret purpose of mercy at some distant
-period, if this is a secret of his own, how can any
-one know it? If he has not told it, how is it possible
-for any one to find out that which God intends
-should be secret? Reflection upon this idea, put
-an end to the speculation, as being a gross absurdity.
-I also reflected on the nature of sin;&mdash;I
-said to myself, "Supposing I were cast into hell
-for the sins of my present life, would I cease to
-commit sin when there? and if I did what was in
-itself sinful in hell, would the torments of the
-place excuse it? would the justice of God take no
-cognisance of what I did there?" This was a
-piercing exercise to my mind: but it was salutary;
-and I believe I was indebted to what I had read
-in Boston's Fourfold State for it, although I was
-not aware of it at the time. I answered the above
-queries in this way: If, when I am in a state of
-partial sufferings here, I am not able to suffer without
-being at least impatient and fretful, if I do not
-actually complain and murmur&mdash;how can I expect
-to behave any better in hell? My present sufferings
-do not excuse the sins I commit under them;
-I shall then, as well as now, be a subject of the
-justice of God; and when I shall be suffering for
-past sins, that will be no excuse for the commission
-of new ones; if I am to make the debt of sin
-less by suffering for it, I must not contract more
-debt at the time I am paying the old; for if I do, I
-shall continue to be a debtor; and as long as I
-continue to commit sin, I must continue to suffer
-for it, for the claims of Divine justice are indispensable.
-Following out these reflections put a
-complete end to all speculation, of the probability,
-or possibility, of ever finding any portion of happiness,
-if I did not obtain the pardon of my sins,
-and deliverance from sin itself, before I left this
-world, and appeared in the presence of God.&mdash;These
-speculations show that my mind was ready
-to catch at any thing, that appeared to furnish the
-least hope, however delusive it might be; for when
-I looked forward to eternity, not having the confidence
-that arises from faith in the Lord Jesus, as
-an all-sufficient Saviour, and not discerning the
-doctrine of his complete atonement and justifying
-righteousness, I was glad to lay hold of any thing
-that appeared to afford the smallest glimpse of
-hope, rather than be without hope altogether.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Having, by the goodness of God, recovered from
-the fever, the effect of it was to make me resolve
-once more to devote myself to his service. Gratitude
-for his mercy in my recovery induced me to
-do this; and I hoped for better success in my endeavours
-than heretofore: but alas! it was not long
-before my conscience found matter of accusation
-against me; and this threw me as far back as ever.
-I searched for a reason why I failed in my attempts
-to serve God; but I did not find the true one. I
-began to lay the blame on the example and conversation
-of my comrades; and would fain have
-palliated the evil of my conduct on this ground,
-and flattered myself that God would therefore be
-the less strict with me. But then I reflected, that
-it would be a pernicious and fatal delusion for me,
-to flatter myself with any thing that would not
-stand the test of his judgment seat. I found no
-toleration for sin, in any situation, in the word of
-God; and my conscience charged me, not only with
-wilful sins, for which I could devise no excuse,
-but also with loving sin itself, which God hateth.
-Yet, as experience had taught me that one thing
-led to another, I determined to keep myself as
-much as possible out of the company of the profligate,
-and profane, and loose talkers, and to keep
-my mind as constantly fixed as possible on serious
-subjects. I set heaven with all its charms before
-my mind, as the object to be gained, and hell with
-all its terrors, as the object to be escaped. I contrasted
-time with eternity, and said to myself,
-Surely eternity is of such vast importance, as to
-be worth all the sufferings that can be endured,
-and all the exertions that can be made, in the narrow
-bounds of human life. I again set out in a
-new course of obedience, resolved to watch all the
-avenues to temptation; and, under the influence of
-this resolution, I avoided, as much as I could, in
-my present situation, those whose conversation I
-wished to shun; but it was impossible to be always
-out of the hearing of it;&mdash;all I could do, was not
-to mingle in converse with them; and I have frequently
-stopped my ears with my fingers, that I
-might not hear licentious and profane talk, when
-I knew it was going on: but I could not do this
-on every occasion, and when I did get it done, it
-gave me a proof of the deceitfulness of my own
-heart; for evil thoughts and sinful desires would
-spring up in it even at the time when I was stopping
-my ears, that I might not hear the wicked
-conversation of others. To this, however, I was
-not sufficiently attentive, but laid the blame, in
-some shape or other, on the temptations with which
-I was surrounded, as being, either directly or indirectly,
-the cause why I was not able to keep my
-own heart. This led me to despair of my ever
-being able to serve God aright, and obtain his
-favour by keeping his commandments while I remained
-in the army. I therefore began to wish I
-were free of it, and placed in a situation where
-I should have it in my power to enjoy solitude,
-and keep out of the way of temptation. I thought
-that of a hermit a very favourable one; not that I
-wished to be a hermit altogether, but I fancied if
-I were only in a situation in which I could keep
-myself, in a great measure, secluded from the
-world, and give myself to reading, meditation, and
-devotion, I should then serve God in a perfect
-manner. Here again I began to reflect&mdash;What if
-God cuts me off for my sins while I am in the
-army? What shall become of me? Have I any
-hope if I should die, or be slain, while in the
-army? To this perplexing question I could give
-no answer; all I could do, was to pray to God to
-spare my life, to deliver me from the army, and to
-bring me into a situation in which I should have
-it in my power to serve him. But my mind soon
-misgave me, and led me to suspect that this was
-not right; and on examining it, I became convinced
-that I was equally bound to serve God in
-my present situation as in any other. Our Lord's
-answer to Paul's prayer, "My grace is sufficient
-for thee," and many other promises of God to his
-people came into my mind; and, although I did not
-understand them aright, yet they convinced me
-that my situation would not be an excuse for my
-sins; they convinced me, that if I was one of
-God's children, his grace would be sufficient to
-enable me to serve him acceptably, whatever situation
-his providence might allot me. But knowing,
-at the same time, that bad company had a great
-effect in confirming evil habits, I still thought, that
-were I but free of the army, I should have a great
-deal less to struggle with. Before I was free of the
-army, however, experience convinced me that
-solitude was no antidote to a deceitful heart; for
-in the solitary hours of night, while watching and
-on guard, and during the sleepless nights passed in
-the hospital, I found abundance of sinful thoughts
-and desires arise in my heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I next went to the opposite extreme, and imagined
-a state of unremitting activity was the best.
-I thought that were I discharged and at home, I
-should then enjoy the means of grace on the Sabbath;
-that my work would occupy my mind the
-greater part of my time through the week; and
-that I should then have it in my power so to regulate
-my conduct, as to take up my whole attention
-between lawful and serious things, and thus leave
-no vacant room in my mind for evil thoughts, or
-what might lead me to the commission of sin.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Under these exercises of mind I continued until
-the time when we left Marmorice Bay, which was
-on the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> February, 1801, when the fleet weighed
-anchor, and were all safely collected upon the
-coast, outside of the bay, before sun-set, and then
-steered their course for Egypt. A Turkish Admiral,
-with two or three frigates, had joined the
-fleet. A number of Greek vessels also were with
-us, which had been hired to transport the horses
-that had been procured at Marmorice, for the use
-of the artillery, cavalry, and field officers. The
-wind was brisk, but the evening was fine, and as
-our fleet consisted of near two hundred sail, many
-of which were large and elegant ships, it had a
-grand and interesting appearance. This interest
-was heightened by the consideration of the sea,
-and the coast, that we were sailing on, for the
-celebrated island of Rhodes was on our right, and
-the coast of Asia Minor on our left. The various
-nations on board of this fleet, as seamen and soldiers,
-was novel and striking, for there were
-Turks, Greeks, and English, with Corsicans, and
-a brigade of soldiers in our service, composed of
-men from various parts of Germany, but the part
-that the soldier was destined to act in the enterprise
-before us, was to him the most interesting
-contemplation, for his personal safety was the most
-deeply involved in the undertaking. The wind
-continued to freshen, and "the fleet had not stood
-long on its course before one of the Greek vessels,
-laden with mules, foundered, and one man alone
-was saved." The Turkish frigates and Greek
-vessels left us, and took shelter in the nearest ports.
-The weather was not what we considered bad,
-but they were not good navigators: their departure,
-however, was a serious loss to the army, for
-the want of the horses on board of them. The
-weather became moderate, and on the <abbr title='twenty-eighth'>28th</abbr> we
-fell in with our squadron that was blockading
-Alexandria, and on the 1st March discovered land
-somewhat to the westward of that place. The
-wind had been light through the day, but freshened
-during the night, and there were heavy
-showers of rain. This made the soldiers remark,
-that if there was no rain in Egypt, there was rain
-very near it; some who were of a deistical turn
-began to insinuate that the Bible had not given a
-correct account of Egypt; and the apparent contradiction
-made some of us rather at a loss to reconcile
-it. During the course of conversation on
-this subject, I heard one observe, that the Bible
-did not say directly that there never was any rain
-in Egypt, but that when it spoke of there being no
-rain there, it referred to the agriculture of Egypt,
-not depending, like that of other countries, upon
-rain, but upon the annual inundations of the Nile.<a id='r6' /><a href='#f6' class='c006'><sup>[6]</sup></a>
-This is the fact; but it is also true, that although
-during the winter season there are thunder storms
-and rain on the sea-coast, yet these seldom go far
-into the country, and at Grand Cairo rain is a
-great rarity. After the regiment had been at that
-city and returned, and after we left Egypt, having
-staid in it six months, I never heard any one urge
-the objection any more. All agreed that the
-scripture account of Egypt was as true as general
-expressions could describe it; so that this, like
-many other infidel objections, was founded on an
-apparent, not a real contradiction. The universal
-remark upon the country was, that they believed
-a remnant of the plagues of Moses still existed
-in it.</p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f5'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r5'>5</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>There were few of the regiment that escaped it; all
-relapsed after the first recovery, and those who were
-longest of catching the infection were worst.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f6'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r6'>6</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><abbr title='Zechariah'>Zech.</abbr> <abbr title='14'>xiv.</abbr> 18. <abbr title='Deuteronomy'>Deut.</abbr> <abbr title='11'>xi.</abbr> 10, and connexion.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap5' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='five'>V.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>On the forenoon of the <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> March, we cast anchor
-in Aboukir Bay, the place where the battle
-of the Nile was fought. Here we lay until the
-<abbr title='eighth'>8th</abbr>, before the weather would permit us to land;
-a period of great anxiety, for every hour was giving
-the enemy time to collect his forces, and prepare
-the means of defence. This made the prospect
-increasingly awful. Our regiment was intended
-to have been one of those which should land first;
-but the fever having increased so much, that about
-one half of our number were at this time sick, we
-were unfit to perform a regiment's part, and
-another of equal strength was put in our place.
-The bay was shallow, and the ships which contained
-the troops being in general of a large size,
-had to anchor at a considerable distance from the
-shore. On the <abbr title='seventh'>7th</abbr>, a number of smaller vessels
-which had been loaded with provisions, but whose
-cargoes were now nearly expended, were moved
-to about three miles from the shore; and several
-regiments were put on board of them, that support
-might be quickly given to those who landed first.
-All of our regiment fit for duty were ordered into
-one of these vessels in the evening. The weather
-was now favourable, and every thing indicated
-that the landing would be attempted next morning.
-I slept little or none during the night; but frequently
-employed myself in short prayers to God
-to be merciful to me, and to spare me and protect
-me from danger.&mdash;I was surprised this night
-with a want of my ordinary sight, and heard numbers
-of my comrades say that they did not see so
-well as usual, and yet they had no pain in their
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>About two o'clock in the morning the signal
-was made for the first division of the troops to get
-into the boats, and at three o'clock they were
-ordered to row for their rendezvous in the rear of
-one of the light war-vessels that was anchored
-about a gun-shot from the shore. This was a
-very fatiguing service to the seamen; because the
-fleet was so widely anchored, and many of the
-large ships so far from the shore, that it was nine
-o'clock before they were all collected and arranged.
-The enemy could see all our movements; and
-the unavoidable delays that took place, gave them
-a fair opportunity to provide for their defence, for
-they now knew the only point at which we could
-land. I contemplated the scene with an anxious
-aching heart. The number of troops in the boats
-was about 5500, and the whole army about 15,000,
-of which there were about 1000 sick at the time
-of landing, and of these about 400 belonged to our
-own regiment.&mdash;There were two bomb ketches
-and three sloops of war, anchored with their
-broadsides to the shore; on the right flank of the
-boats there were a cutter, two Turkish gun-boats,
-and two armed launches; and on the left flank, a
-cutter, a schooner, one gun-boat, and two launches.
-These light vessels were to go as near the shore as
-the water would admit, to annoy the enemy and
-protect the boats.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>At nine o'clock the signal was made for the
-boats to advance; and the whole line advanced at
-the same instant, giving three loud cheers. "The
-French, to the number of two thousand, were
-posted on the top of sand-hills, forming the concave
-arc of a circle on the front of about a mile,
-in the centre of which elevated itself, a nearly
-perpendicular height of sixty yards, apparently inaccessible."<a id='r7' /><a href='#f7' class='c006'><sup>[7]</sup></a>
-The left of this rising ground was
-a continuation of sand-hills close to the shore,
-gradually diminishing in their height until they
-ended in a long flat tongue forming the entrance
-of Lake Maadie. The ground to the right of the
-centre height on the shore was flat, but there were
-clusters of thick bushes, (such as form the date or
-palm tree), which were favourable for concealing
-the enemy; and on the extremity of the right stood
-the castle of Aboukir, in which were several 10
-inch mortars, and a large Martello tower, having
-two brass 32 pounders on its top, and which, from
-its position and height, commanded nearly the
-whole shore. As soon as the boats set off for the
-beach, the two bomb ketches, and the three sloops
-of war, began to throw their shot and shells upon the
-shore; and the light vessels, stationed to protect
-the flanks of the boats, moved along with them
-and began to fire. The bulk of the enemy's field
-artillery was in the flat ground, to the right of the
-height before mentioned, the rest was among the
-smaller sand-hills on the left of it. As soon as the
-boats were within the reach of their shot, they
-opened their fire on them; and it appeared to be
-their design, to make their shot cross the boats in
-the centre. The heavy guns on the top of the
-tower in Aboukir castle, and the mortars, commenced,
-at the same time, their fire on the right
-flank of the boats. The scene now became dreadful;
-the war vessels pouring whole broadsides;
-the bomb ketches throwing shells, which, exploding
-in the air, formed numerous little clouds;
-and the gun-boats and cutters on the flanks of the
-boats, exerting themselves to the utmost. As none
-of these, however, could approach the shore, so
-near as to be within the reach of grape-shot, or
-even to have a certain aim, their exertions were of
-little benefit to the boats; which pursued their progress
-towards the shore, whilst the enemy's artillery,
-(12 pieces, exclusive of the large guns in
-Aboukir castle), continued to play upon them with
-unremitting activity. All eyes were directed towards
-the boats; every flash of the enemy's artillery
-was noticed; and every eye on the stretch, to
-discern where the shot might strike the water, to
-observe if it lighted among the boats, and if any
-of them were damaged or sunk; and we too often
-had occasion to picture to our minds, when we
-saw the shot strike in the middle of them, and
-produce disorder, how many it might have killed,
-or wounded, or drowned; for my own part, although
-I felt thankful that I was not myself in the boats,
-yet my feelings for those that were, were nearly, if
-not altogether, as painful, as if I had been in them;
-and I believe that this was the case with the most
-of the spectators. But while we were thus feeling
-for them, we became increasingly astonished to
-behold how the boats pressed forwards towards the
-shore, although the wind, of which there was a
-smart breeze, was against them; how well they
-preserved their order under the terrible fire of the
-enemy's artillery; and how quickly any disorder
-produced by the shot that fell amongst them was
-remedied. The painful feelings of anxious apprehension
-and suspense experienced by those in
-the boats, must have been greatly heightened by
-the circumstance, that most of the shells and shot
-fired by our war vessels were necessarily fired over
-their heads, they being between the vessels and
-the enemy: so that an ill-directed shot from their
-own ships, was as dangerous to them as one from
-the shore; and when buzzing through the air over
-them, must have been apprehended as one from
-the enemy, about to strike destruction amongst
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As the boats approached the shore, the enemy
-moved their artillery that was on their right, and
-drew it nearer to their centre. It appeared to be
-a part of their object, to keep the extreme right of
-the boats betwixt their artillery and the war vessels,
-and thus prevent the war vessels from having
-a clear opening to direct their fire: and indeed all
-our fire, from all descriptions of vessels, did not
-seem to interrupt for a moment that of the enemy,
-or to silence a single gun all the time the troops
-were rowing to the beach. When they approached
-near to it, the enemy having drawn their artillery
-from the right, planted it on the top of the
-centre height, which now appeared to look directly
-down upon the boats: and now came the most
-trying moment. From this elevated position they
-poured down such a continued fire of shot, shell,
-and grape, as made us, who were looking on, apprehend
-that few would reach the shore. Some
-disorder too appearing among the boats increased
-our fears; but at this instant we heard them begin
-to cheer, and saw them press forward with redoubled
-vigour. We soon observed the right
-flank of the boats reach the shore under the centre
-height,<a id='r8' /><a href='#f8' class='c006'><sup>[8]</sup></a> and the men form immediately on the
-beach; while the enemy from the top of the height
-poured down grape shot, as well as the fire of musketry
-from a line of infantry which was ranged
-along it. In a few seconds the <abbr title='fourtieth'>40th</abbr> flank companies,
-and the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> regiment, were in line; and,
-without firing a shot, ascended the height in the
-face of the enemy. This movement was clearly
-seen by the whole fleet, and attracted all eyes.&mdash;The
-spectators began to tremble, lest the enemy
-should drive them down again; but we were astonished
-to see with what rapidity and order they
-mounted the steep face of the height. They were
-soon close to the enemy, and charged them with
-loud cheers, when the enemy fled, and in an instant
-both parties were out of sight. The <abbr title='forty-second'>42d</abbr> regiment,
-which had landed and formed, was now
-seen ascending the left of the height, and charging
-the enemy opposed to them, who also fled and disappeared.
-We now turned our attention more to
-the left, where part of the troops were forming on
-the beach; but the left of the boats had not yet
-reached the shore. The enemy, who had been
-posted among the smaller sand-hills, as soon as the
-boats came near the shore, rushed down into the
-water, fired into them, and endeavoured to prevent
-their landing. A party of cavalry also charged
-those who were in the act of landing, which
-produced a temporary confusion; but they were
-soon wholly repulsed. All the troops were landed,
-and the beach, and the heights that lined it, cleared
-of the enemy, I believe, in less than a quarter
-of an hour, and nothing to be seen by the spectators,
-but the empty boats, hoisting their sails, and
-proceeding with all possible speed to receive the
-second division. Some of them soon reached the
-ship I was in, and with all haste we got into them
-and rowed for the shore. On the way I saw some
-boats swamped, which had been struck with large
-shot; but the men who were in them had been
-picked up by the small boats, which followed those
-that had troops in them, for this express purpose.
-The number of boats, that were seriously damaged,
-was small, compared with what might have been
-expected; but they were in general less or more
-perforated with grape shot and musketry. The
-boat in which I was had an oar broken, and was
-otherwise damaged; but none of the men were
-killed or seriously wounded in her.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We soon reached the shore, at a place where it
-was deeper than common: and with a leap I landed
-dry shod. The first thing I saw, as I passed
-along the beach, was some Frenchmen lying dead
-within the edge of the water. The beach was
-strewed with dead and wounded men, with horses,
-and artillery taken from the enemy: but the action
-was over. We formed in a hollow on the left of
-the centre height, where the <abbr title='forty-second'>42d</abbr> had repulsed a
-charge of cavalry; some of the <abbr title='forty-second'>42d</abbr>, and also of
-the cavalry, with their horses, were stretched dead
-upon the sand:&mdash;we were soon ready, and advanced
-through the first range of sand-hills, and found
-the first division formed with their artillery, which
-had landed along with them, and was drawn by
-seamen. This circumstance had materially contributed
-to the success of the landing; for the
-enemy were astonished to find that our artillery
-was landed as soon as the troops, and began to fire
-upon them as soon as the musketry of the infantry.
-Eight pieces of cannon were taken from the enemy;
-but the army lost in this affair, one hundred
-and two killed, five hundred and fifteen wounded,
-and thirty-five missing; the loss of the navy was
-twenty-two killed, seventy-two wounded, and
-three missing, making a total of seven hundred
-and forty-nine, the greater part of which were killed
-or wounded in the boats, previous to landing.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the course of the day the troops were all
-landed; we did not however advance far that day,
-but took up a position at no great distance from the
-shore. Our first concern was to learn whether
-water could be got in this sandy desert; and we
-were glad to find that it could be obtained in the
-hollows, by digging a little way in the sand. When
-night came on we stationed our guards, and lay
-upon the sand, covering ourselves with our blankets.
-This night I was surprised to find that I
-could see nothing, and I continued to be in this
-state every night, until the night of the <abbr title='twentieth'>20d</abbr>: in
-the day time I saw as well as ever I did, and had
-no pain in my eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the morning of the <abbr title='ninth'>9th</abbr> our regiment, along
-with a party of Corsican riflemen, advanced along
-the peninsula about three miles from where we
-landed, to a place where it was contracted into
-less than half a mile in breadth. Here was a redoubt
-and a flag-staff, for communicating signals
-betwixt Aboukir castle and Alexandria: but the
-enemy had left it, and thrown a large gun, intended
-to be mounted on it, into the ditch. In the
-course of the day, the <abbr title='forty-second'>42d</abbr> regiment and others,
-came and occupied this position, and we returned
-to our former one, where we remained until the
-morning of the <abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr>, waiting for the landing of
-some horses, ammunition, and provisions, from the
-fleet. We made booths of the branches of the
-date (or palm tree), to shelter ourselves from the
-dew, which fell very copiously, and we had sometimes
-heavy showers of rain and hail, which made
-it pretty cold. The thermometer was frequently
-below 50.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the morning of the <abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr>, having filled our
-canteens with water, and furnished ourselves with
-three days provisions, the whole army advanced.
-Having proceeded a little beyond the narrow neck
-of the peninsula, the enemy's cavalry began to
-skirmish; our march was slow and often interrupted;
-the surface of the ground being very uneven,
-the sand very deep, and the day very warm,
-parties were frequently sent to assist the seamen
-with the guns, and even those guns which had
-horses to draw them, were unable to get forward,
-for the horses had never been used to the draught,
-and were often unmanageable.&mdash;Before evening
-we came within sight of the enemy's army posted
-on a height. Their strength was about 6000 men,
-of which 600 were cavalry, with 20 to 30 pieces
-of cannon. As it was too late to engage them that
-night, we halted, and began to dig for water; for
-we had made use of all that we had, and were
-now very thirsty. The place where we began to
-dig, was a deep soil of black earth, and below it
-a clayish mixture. About four or five feet from the
-surface, water began to appear in small quantities;
-each company dug a well; but before the one to
-which I belonged had found water, the regiment
-was ordered upon picquet. There was no help
-for it. We were posted along the front of the army,
-only those who were blind were not put on
-sentry, but left in groupes, a little in the rear.
-There were nearly twenty of a company in this
-condition. We felt very unhappy; for we had to
-remain in the spot where we were, until, when it
-was necessary to shift our position, some one who
-had sight came to conduct us to another place: we
-then took hold of one another, and were led in a
-string; and, had a party of the enemy made a dash
-at the place where we were, we were unable either
-to have resisted or fled.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the morning of the <abbr title='thirteenth'>13th</abbr> we were ordered to
-advance in front of the army, to form, along with
-the <abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr> regiment, the advanced guard. We had
-no time to procure water, but got a little rum, and
-began our march, leaving our knapsacks with a
-guard. We had not advanced far, before our
-light company, which was in front, came upon the
-enemy's picquets, and a skirmishing began, which
-increased as we advanced. The light company
-was reinforced several times, the enemy's picquets
-getting stronger as they retreated, being joined by
-those who were in their rear. The ground through
-which we marched was interspersed with thick
-bushes; but we approached a rising ground, on
-which the main body of the enemy's army was
-drawn up in order of battle. The ascent to this
-height was entirely bare, and also the ground to
-the left of it, which projected to Lake Maadie.&mdash;Our
-regiment kept to the side of the lake; the
-<abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr> was on our right; and the army followed us
-in two lines. Our parties in front pressed eagerly
-upon the enemy's picquets, which caused the regiment
-to march pretty quickly, in order to be
-near them for their support; and this led us to
-get a considerable way in advance of the army,
-which could not follow with the same speed.&mdash;There
-was one nine pounder field-piece, and one
-four and a half inch howitzer, along with us; but
-very little ammunition with them. Armed launches
-too had kept pace with the left of the army upon
-the lake; but it was now so shallow that they
-could not follow us farther.&mdash;As soon as the <abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr>
-regiment had cleared the broken ground, and began
-to ascend the height on which the enemy's
-army was posted, a heavy column of cavalry was
-observed coming forward to charge them. The
-front section of the <abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr> halted, and the regiment
-formed line with all expedition. The front section
-of the enemy's cavalry wheeled, as soon as it
-came opposite the right of the <abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr>, and began to
-form line. The two parties formed opposite and
-very near each other, but the cavalry line was
-formed first. The rear sections of the <abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr> had
-not time to reach the extent of the line, and closed
-upon the rear of the left, making it six or eight
-deep, but they had a clear view of the horsemen
-who were on higher ground. The cavalry advanced
-upon them with their swords raised; the
-<abbr title='ninetieth'>90th</abbr> stood firm, until the cavalry were so near the
-right of their line, that they were going to strike
-at them with their swords; they then began to fire,
-and it ran from right to left like a rattling peal of
-thunder. It was one of the most terrible discharges
-of musketry I ever saw; and, from the nearness
-of the enemy, it was dreadfully destructive. The
-cavalry instantly retreated, and many horses ran
-away with empty saddles. During the time of
-this transaction, which was over in a few seconds,
-our regiment made a momentary pause. On the
-retreat of the cavalry we again advanced. The
-enemy then began to open their artillery upon us
-from the heights. We still pressed on; but as
-they saw all our movements, and perceived that
-we were considerably advanced before the army,
-they formed the resolution to attack us with all
-their force; and accordingly marched to their right
-down the height, and, when on the plain, formed
-line, and came forward. When we perceived
-their movement, we halted, formed five companies
-in line; posted the other five in the rear of scattered
-bushes on the left towards the lake, and
-awaited their approach. We cannonaded them
-with our two pieces, but our ammunition being
-soon expended, the guns were drawn into the rear.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the time that we were advancing, I had
-frequently and earnestly prayed to God, to spare
-and protect me. Our present situation was one of
-imminent danger; part of the enemy's artillery
-were playing upon us from the rising ground towards
-the right; and in front, the enemy, with
-the rest of his artillery, was advancing in great
-force, in a line formed like the blade of a scythe,
-the curved point to our left on the shore of the lake,
-and that part of it appeared to be composed of cavalry.<a id='r9' /><a href='#f9' class='c006'><sup>[9]</sup></a>
-It seemed to be the enemy's intention to
-come round our left, and get into our rear with
-that part of their line, while the rest of it attacked
-us in front, and out-flanked us on the right, by
-which they would have completely surrounded
-us, and either destroyed or carried us prisoners,
-before the main body of the army could arrive to
-assist us. This was their only object. They
-were too weak to attack the army on level ground
-with any hope of success; but they were more than
-competent to take or destroy our party, which did
-not amount to 500 men. I was near the left of
-the line, and beheld the advance of the enemy with
-an anxious mind; but as we were standing in a
-fixed position, I had some leisure for reflection;
-and as death was once more staring me in the face,
-I began to inquire "what hope have I for eternity,
-if I am cut off at this time?" I confessed my
-sins in the words of the <abbr title='fifty-first'>51st</abbr> Psalm; and besought
-God to pardon them, and give me a new heart; I
-then thought, "If we are mostly cut down at this
-time, and have to appear before God, will he make
-no difference between me and those around me,
-many of whom, in place of calling upon him, profane
-his name?" I then endeavoured to lay hold
-on the mercies promised to the penitent and contrite
-in heart. I thought I was sorry for my sins,
-and confessed them without guile, and on this account
-I endeavoured to hope for mercy, thus resting
-partly on the difference that I conceived to be
-between my own character and that of others, and
-partly on my contrition and repentance before
-God. But my mind was still dissatisfied; I still
-feared the worst; I knew not the merits of a
-Saviour's righteousness; my hope was not built
-upon him but on myself, and could not be satisfactory.
-I therefore cried to God to spare me once
-more, and promised that my future life should be
-devoted to his service. The Lord was pleased to
-hear my cry, and to protect me during the awful
-scene that was just about to commence. The
-enemy's line had advanced within about 300
-yards, and brought two-field pieces in front of the
-company I was in, and fired them at us. One of
-the balls came skimming along the surface of the
-ground. I caught a view of it at some distance,
-and thought it was coming directly to me. It
-grazed a small hillock of rubbish a few yards in
-our front, and laid down the second file on my
-right. It struck the left leg of the front rank man
-in the centre, passing through it, and leaving a
-part of the skin on each side. It grazed the calf
-of the rear rank man's left leg, tearing it, and carrying
-part of it away. The small stones which it
-drove from the rubbish-hillock hurt our faces,
-and a quantity of them entered into the lacerated
-limbs of the wounded like hail. The one whose
-leg was broken died some time after he had undergone
-amputation; the other also died some months
-after in Rosetta. I thought that the hillock of
-rubbish had perhaps altered the direction of the
-ball, else it might have struck me; and while I
-felt for my comrades, I thanked God that I had
-escaped.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We were now anxious for orders to commence
-firing, as the enemy were still marching forwards;
-the ground in front was somewhat undulated, rising
-a little, for about 200 yards in our front, and then
-gently falling. Our commanding officer allowed
-them to advance, as far as to the highest part in
-our front; and whenever we saw their feet distinctly,
-gave orders to fire. This was eagerly done;
-and the moment we began firing, the enemy's line,
-in place of rushing forward, and destroying us in
-an instant, made a halt from right to left, and
-opened their fire upon us. As we were most afraid
-of the two pieces of artillery in front playing upon
-us with grape-shot, those around me directed their
-fire chiefly at them, which I believe caused them
-to be removed to one of the flanks. We then levelled
-at those directly in our front; but the smoke
-soon covered them so much, that a particular object
-was not visible. We then took aim at where
-we judged their line was; but we were not so
-much afraid of those directly in our front, as of a
-body which appeared to be cavalry, and which
-threatened to come round our left into our rear.&mdash;In
-order to keep them back; those near me directed
-nearly the one half of their fire against
-them; for we feared that those who were posted
-in the rear of the bushes to our left, would not be
-able to prevent them from advancing, the bushes
-being widely scattered, so that they might have
-been easily passed. These men, however, did
-their duty most admirably. The enemy opened a
-fire of grape-shot, from several pieces of artillery,
-to dislodge them; but they bravely maintained their
-post. Our ranks were now getting thinner; our
-commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Erskine,
-was severely wounded with grape shot in several
-parts of the body.<a id='r10' /><a href='#f10' class='c006'><sup>[10]</sup></a> The officer commanding the
-company I was in, was also wounded, and many
-more.&mdash;After we had fired about 12 rounds, whilst
-I was in the act of loading, I was struck by a
-musket ball in the left side, near the pit of the
-stomach, close to the ribs, and was whirled round
-on my heels by the force of the stroke. I was
-stunned and felt great pain; and, concluding that
-I was wounded, I stept into the rear and grasped
-the place with my hand. I found the skin was
-entire; and on shaking myself, the ball dropped at
-my feet. I then resumed my place in the ranks,
-and continued to fire until I had expended 22
-rounds; when to our great joy, a party of marines,
-doing duty on shore, arrived on our right, and
-Dillon's regiment on our left. At the first fire of
-these troops, the enemy retreated with great precipitation.
-We pursued them to some distance;
-and Dillon's regiment coming up with a party of
-them, charged, and took two pieces of cannon.&mdash;The
-enemy was so closely pressed that he divided
-his forces, and part of them retreated to the left,
-through a shallow place of the Lake Maadie, the
-other part retired direct upon Alexandria. Had
-we had a proper proportion of cavalry, we might
-have captured all the enemy's artillery, and even
-have taken Alexandria itself; for we could have
-reached it before that part of the enemy's force
-which retreated to the left, as we were nearer it
-than they.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The army formed in line on the heights which
-the enemy had occupied in the morning: they
-cannonaded us, and kept up a fire of sharp-shooters,
-by which we lost a number of men. A
-division of the army was detached to the left, to a
-height near to that of Alexandria; the reserve
-advanced on the right, and another division in the
-centre. Our regiment was part of the division
-sent to the left. The day was warm, and we
-suffered much from want of water. I have seen a
-Spanish dollar offered for a draught, and in many
-instances refused. The gunpowder which unavoidably
-got into our mouths by biting the ends of
-our cartridges while loading, tended greatly to
-augment our thirst.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The enemy had now concentrated his forces on
-the heights of Alexandria. When he saw our division
-advancing to the left, he sent a party with
-two guns to cannonade us, and as we advanced
-nearer, he opened upon us a heavy fire of shot and
-shell. Our order of march was in divisions of
-companies; and, as we drew near the height, a
-cannon bail struck the ground, close to the right
-of the division of the company I was in. The
-ground happened to be soft mould; the ball lodged
-itself in the mould, and we were covered with
-the dust and small fragments of stones which it
-raised. It was a great mercy that the ground was
-not hard in that spot, as it was in the greatest part
-of the adjacent ground; for the ball would in that
-case have rebounded, and in all probability have
-laid down the front rank of the division. I felt
-thankful for deliverance, and continued to pray in
-my heart to God to spare and protect me.&mdash;We
-formed in close columns upon the height. The
-bed of a canal, over which was a bridge, lay in
-the bottom of the hollow that was betwixt us and
-the enemy's position: the bridge was defended by
-a party of cavalry and infantry, with two guns.
-The <abbr title='forty-fourth'>44th</abbr> regiment, being sent in front, charged
-the enemy with the bayonet, and captured the
-bridge; and the party which defended it retired
-into their own lines. During this operation the
-columns advanced, and began to descend into the
-hollow. Our regiment was in the front, the enemy
-played upon us with his artillery, to which we
-were now dreadfully exposed; but, after we had
-descended some way down the height, we were
-ordered to retire; and, as we retreated undercover
-of the height, we were partly screened from his
-fire. After we had remained in this position some
-time, our regiment was allowed to retire to the
-rear of the right of the centre division of the army.
-This division had been formed in line on the
-plain, and being wholly unprotected from the
-enemy's shot, had suffered very severely. They
-were still in this state; but they had now laid
-down their arms, and either sat or lay on the
-ground, by which means they were not so much
-exposed. We took up our position, and several
-men from each company were allowed to go in
-quest of water. I was one of them; and, as no
-one knew where to find it, we took different
-routes. After travelling some distance to the rear,
-I got information where water was to be had; and
-having made all haste to the spot, I found it, and
-instantly began to drink; but I thought I should
-never be satisfied. Never was any thing so precious
-to me in all my life as this water. After
-having drank a considerable quantity, I began to
-fill the canteens (of which I had ten) which I had
-brought to fetch it to those who remained; but
-many a drink I took before I had filled them. I
-then began to feel a little hungry, having eaten
-nothing from the preceding morning, lest it should
-increase my thirst. I sat down and took a piece
-of biscuit and a bit of pork, and began to eat; but
-still every mouthful required a little of the water;
-and I wished to be fully satisfied, before leaving
-the place, that I might not be under the necessity
-of drinking any of what I was carrying away.
-The water was white and muddy, but not thick;
-it was in a part of what had been the bed of a
-canal, or had been hollowed out by torrents coming
-from the heights in the winter season, across the
-mouth of which a bank had been thrown, which
-prevented the water from running into the lake, to
-which it was near. Having satisfied my thirst, I
-returned with a load of water to my comrades, to
-whom it was as acceptable as it had been to myself.
-We remained until near sun-set in the same
-position; and as the whole army was within reach
-of the enemy's shot, he continued less or more to
-cannonade us. When our regiment got on their
-feet and began to move, they fired at us from two
-of their heaviest guns. One of the balls rebounded
-from the ground, nearly killed our Major, and
-passed through the ranks: those opposite to it saw
-it, and were so fortunate as to make an opening,
-through which it passed without touching any one.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>By sun-set the army took up its position on the
-heights from which the enemy had been driven on
-the morning, with our right to the sea, and our
-left to the canal that separated Lake Maadie from
-the bed of Lake Marcotis.&mdash;As soon as our position
-was adjusted, and we had liberty to pile our arms,
-the cry was for more water; and as I had been
-sent for it before, and knew where it was to be
-found, I was sent along with others. It was dusk
-before we reached the spot, which now presented
-a confused but interesting scene. The cavalry and
-artillery horses, which had been all day without
-water, were now there, and had gone into it with
-their feet, where they were greedily drinking.
-This had stirred up the mud, and made the water
-a perfect puddle; near the edge it was as thick as
-paste. We had therefore to wade in among the
-horses to where it was deeper; so that here were
-men and horses, standing promiscuously, knee
-deep in the water, trying as it were which could
-drink fastest. By the time I got my canteens filled,
-it was pretty dark; and, owing to the confusion,
-as I could not see, I had great difficulty in finding
-the regiment.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I now lay down on the ground to take some
-rest. I reflected seriously on the events of the
-past day, and thanked God for having heard my
-prayers, and for having spared and protected me.
-I remembered the promises I had made, and my
-conscience accused me of having broken them
-almost as soon as made. Even during the time of
-the action, when many were falling around me,
-and my danger was greatest, I had made use of improper
-expressions: expressions which I was not
-guilty of using at other times, and which, on such
-an occasion, above all others, I ought to have
-avoided. This threw me into dejection of spirits,
-and into a train of very serious reflections for
-several days; reflections which were deepened by
-my being led to see more minutely the danger I
-had escaped. Having occasion to shift my clothes,
-I observed that the ball which had struck me on
-the side, had passed through my coat and cut my
-waistcoat between the second and third button
-from the bottom; it had then grazed my side, and
-had been obstructed in its passage outwards by a
-small volume of poems, containing Pope's Essay
-on Man, Blair's Grave, and Gray's Elegy, which
-I had in my side pocket. The corner of the binding
-next to my side was shattered, and the greater
-part of the leaves much bruised. I now discerned,
-that it had been the force with which the ball
-struck the book that had wheeled me round. I
-was impressed with the conviction, that if I had
-been standing square to my front, the ball would
-have lodged in my left side; and that even in the
-oblique position in which I stood, had it been one
-inch nearer the right, it would have lodged in the
-body and proved mortal. There were few of my
-comrades that had not their clothes cut in several
-places; and many had received contusions that
-would have proved mortal wounds, if the French had
-properly loaded their pieces. It was said that they
-did not use the ramrod in loading, which enabled
-them to fire with greater rapidity; but the charge
-being loose in their pieces, the shot did not fly so
-true to its direction, and was in many cases weak;
-making only a contusion, in place of perforating
-the body. This partly accounts for such a long
-continued and tremendously superior fire, not
-being so destructive as might have been apprehended.
-The regiment lost 125 killed and wounded;
-but our wonder was how so many had escaped.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The loss sustained by the army, was 156 killed,
-1082 wounded; and of seamen and marines there
-were 29 killed and 55 wounded, making a total
-of 1322. Four pieces of cannon and some ammunition
-were taken from the enemy.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>A great part of the grape-shot and cannon balls,
-that were fired by the French, were made of a
-composition of brass. They had taken the copper-sheeting
-and bells of a number of the ships in
-the harbour, and the unserviceable brass guns in
-their possession, and had melted them into balls,
-to prevent their ammunition from being exhausted;
-because the blockade of Egypt by our ships of
-war, prevented them from receiving regular supplies
-from France. But the grape-shot of this
-description that lodged in the bodies of the wounded,
-had the tendency of making the wounds foul.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I continued to ponder over what had taken
-place; and my mind became increasingly uneasy.
-Conviction of sin, and a sense of ingratitude to
-God for his mercies, drove me almost to despair.
-I had my Bible with me, but made no use of it:
-our duty and fatigues left almost no leisure to do
-so, even had I been so inclined; and the dangerous
-nature of our present situation agitated the mind,
-and prevented the composure needful for the investigation
-of truth. One who previously knew
-the spiritual import of the Scriptures, might have
-made some profitable use of a Bible; but our circumstances
-were quite unfavourable for one like
-me. I was left to ruminate upon what occurred to
-my memory. I recollected what Manoah's wife said
-to her husband, when he was afraid that he should
-die because he had seen God. "If the Lord were
-pleased to kill us, he would not have received a
-burnt-offering and a meat-offering at our hands;"
-(Judges <abbr title='13'>xiii.</abbr> 23.) and was led to conclude, that I
-ought not to give myself over to despair, seeing
-God had yet spared my life. I had also a general
-recollection of the following passage of Young's
-Night Thoughts:</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>&mdash;&mdash; Time destroyed</div>
- <div class='line'>Is Suicide, where more than blood is spilt.</div>
- <div class='line'>Time flies, death urges, knells call, heav'n invites,</div>
- <div class='line'>Hell threatens; all exerts: in effort, all;</div>
- <div class='line'>More than creation labours!&mdash;Labours more?</div>
- <div class='line'>And is there in creation, what, amidst</div>
- <div class='line'>This tumult universal, wing'd despatch,</div>
- <div class='line'>And ardent energy, supinely yawns?&mdash;</div>
- <div class='line'><i>Man</i> sleeps; and <i>Man</i> alone; and <i>Man</i> whose fate,</div>
- <div class='line'>Fate irreversible, entire, extreme,</div>
- <div class='line'>Endless, hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf</div>
- <div class='line'>A moment trembles; drops! and <i>Man</i> for whom</div>
- <div class='line'>All else is in alarm! <i>Man</i>, the sole cause</div>
- <div class='line'>Of this surrounding storm! and yet he sleeps,</div>
- <div class='line'>As the storm rock'd to rest,&mdash;Throw <i>Years</i> away?</div>
- <div class='line'>Throw <i>Empires</i>, and be blameless. Moments seize,&mdash;</div>
- <div class='line'>Heaven's on their wing: a moment we may wish</div>
- <div class='line'>When worlds want wealth to buy. Bid <i>Day</i> stand still,</div>
- <div class='line'>Bid him drive back his car, and re-import</div>
- <div class='line'>The period past; regive the given hour:</div>
- <div class='line'>Lorenzo, <i>more</i> than miracles we want:</div>
- <div class='line'>Lorenzo&mdash;O for yesterdays to come!</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in2'>Such is the language of the man <i>awake</i>;</div>
- <div class='line'>His ardour such, for what <i>oppresses</i> thee:</div>
- <div class='line'>And is his ardour vain, Lorenzo?&mdash;No;</div>
- <div class='line'>That <i>more</i> than miracle the gods indulge;</div>
- <div class='line'><i>To-day</i> is <i>yesterday</i> return'd; return'd</div>
- <div class='line'>Full-power'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn,</div>
- <div class='line'>And reinstate us on the Rock of peace.</div>
- <div class='line'>Let it not share its predecessor's fate;</div>
- <div class='line'>Nor, like its elder sisters, die a fool.</div>
- <div class='line'>Shall it evaporate in fume? fly off</div>
- <div class='line'>Fuliginous, and stain us deeper still?</div>
- <div class='line'>Shall we be poorer for the plenty pour'd?</div>
- <div class='line'>More wretched for the clemencies of heav'n?</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Night Second.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>While I had a general recollection of this passage
-on my mind, there were a number of its particular
-expressions very frequently in my memory.
-When I thought on the past dangers I had come
-through, and looked at our present hazardous
-situation, the words</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>&mdash;&mdash;"hair-hung, breeze-shaken, o'er the gulf</div>
- <div class='line'>A moment trembles,"&mdash;&mdash;</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>strongly impressed my mind with a sense of the
-critical nature of human life in general, and of
-such a situation as I was now in, in particular;
-and the words,</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>&mdash;&mdash;"and yet he sleeps,</div>
- <div class='line'>As the storm rock'd to rest"&mdash;&mdash;</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>with the folly of being careless and unconcerned,
-in such a situation; and when I thought on the
-misimprovement of past time, the words,</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>&mdash;&mdash;"O for yesterdays to come!"</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>spoke the feelings of my heart:&mdash;but the words,</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>"Today is yesterday return'd; return'd</div>
- <div class='line'>Full-power'd to cancel, expiate, raise, adorn,</div>
- <div class='line'>And reinstate us on the Rock of peace,"</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c008'>were often in my mind, and contributed, with the
-words of Manoah's wife, to give me a partial ease;
-they led me to form a new resolution, of setting
-out once more in attempting to lead a godly life,
-and keep the divine commandments. Having
-formed this resolution, I set about the performance
-of it with all due care, and my mind enjoyed a
-temporary peace. I was frequent in prayer, as I
-hoped that by this means I should prevent my
-mind from wandering. I had taken my present
-resolution so strongly, that I thought if I did not
-keep it this time, I could never hope to keep any
-resolution afterwards.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>We now got our tents on shore, and were busily
-employed in landing the heavy artillery, and in
-raising breast-works and redoubts. The fatigues
-of the army were very great; and as nearly the
-one half were now affected with the night blindness,
-they were ordered to take their turn of night
-duties. A blind and a seeing man were put to
-work together, to carry two-handed baskets filled
-with earth to raise the breast-works, the seeing
-one leading the blind; and as the sentries on the
-out-posts were double, a blind and a seeing man
-were also put together: the blind man was company
-to the other; for, although he could not see,
-he could hear; and more depended upon that than
-upon seeing for the best sight could not see an
-object at night at any distance. When upon sentry
-at night, I discovered that when I looked a good
-while to the ground, I could discern upon <i>it</i> the
-shadows of persons that were approaching me; but
-if I lifted up my head I could not see the persons
-themselves, though they came close to my face. I
-continued, when out at night, to look constantly
-to the ground, and my sight gradually got better,
-and was quite recovered by the night of the <abbr title='twentieth'>20d</abbr>.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>During the march of the army from Aboukir, I
-had seen great quantities of ruins; and while employed
-in working among them, and in building
-breast-works and redoubts with the stones of ancient
-palaces, and the earth that formed the banks
-of their far-famed canals, I could not but reflect
-on the ancient glory of Egypt, of which there were
-so many evidences, even in the barren peninsula
-of Aboukir. I saw in these ruins the fulfilments
-of Jehovah's threatenings, and an evidence of the
-truth of the Scriptures;&mdash;and from the description
-given of "populous No," (Nahum. <abbr title='3'>iii.</abbr> 8, 9, 10.
-Ezekiel <abbr title='30'>xxx.</abbr> 14, 15, 16, which I had frequently
-read during the passage up the Mediterranean,) I
-conceived that somewhere in this vicinity, such a
-city must have stood. These reflections gave an
-unusual degree of interest to our operations. We
-were now upon Scripture ground: we had come
-from a distant island of the sea, to the land of the
-proud Pharaohs, to carry on our military operations
-where Nebuchadnezzar, and Alexander the
-Great, had carried on theirs. The event was
-singular and striking: and our situation novel and
-interesting. Our camp stretched from the sea to
-the lake; and on the lake were numerous boats,
-bringing provisions, ammunition, and military
-stores from the fleet; while parties of seamen and
-soldiers were carrying or dragging through the
-deep sand, the various articles from the landing
-place, distant about two miles from the position of
-the army. And within four miles of our front,
-were the heights of Alexandria, upon which the
-enemy's troops were posted, with the various forts
-which they had constructed for their defence. On
-the right of their position stood the beautiful and
-majestic column, known by the name of "Pompey's
-Pillar;" and towards their left stood the
-stately obelisk called "Cleopatra's Needle."<a id='r11' /><a href='#f11' class='c006'><sup>[11]</sup></a> The
-old walls of Alexandria were behind them, over
-which the masts of near 200 sail of ships were
-visible, which had conveyed the army of Bonaparte
-from France, and had been blockaded by
-the English since that time. And in the more
-distant view to the sea, was the Isle of Pharos, at
-the entrance of the harbour, on which once stood
-a light-house, mentioned by Rollin in his Ancient
-History as one of the seven wonders of the world,
-but which was now strongly fortified by the
-French, for the protection of the harbour, before
-which a squadron of our fleet was kept constantly
-cruising.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The Arabs began to bring us sheep and young
-onions for sale. The men of the tent I was in,
-bought a sheep for a Spanish dollar, from an Arab,
-whose only covering was a plaid thrown round
-his naked body, resembling those worn by Highland
-shepherds. But our greatest difficulty was
-to find wood to cook it with. The bark of the
-date tree was the only part of it that would burn:
-its withered leaves, with the roots of a creeping
-kind of brier, which we pulled out of the sandy
-soil, and with difficulty got to burn, were the only
-fuel we could find. For a few days we had far to
-travel for water; but every regiment dug wells in
-the flat ground, on the left of the position, where
-a sufficient supply, although somewhat brackish,
-was obtained.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>My mind continued pretty easy for three or four
-days; but I found that I was not fulfilling the task
-that I had undertaken; that I was failing in the
-performance of duty, and was not keeping God
-and eternity in view, in the manner I had resolved
-to do. This began to make me again uneasy; and,
-as my hopes rested on my own performances,
-when I found that these performances were not
-what I had promised and resolved they should be,
-these hopes were shaken. I had not, indeed, been
-guilty of any open and notorious sins; but I had
-not done that which I had resolved to do, and on
-the doing of which I had hoped for the forgiveness
-of past sins, the favour of God, and eternal life;
-and this threw me back where I was before.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The regiment received orders on the <abbr title='twentieth'>20d</abbr>, to
-march early next morning to Aboukir, to do the
-hospital duty, because we were too weak to do
-the duty of a regiment in the line. We were accordingly
-under arms and marched off an hour before
-daylight, and left our tents standing for a
-regiment that was to come from the second line
-to occupy our place. But we had not proceeded
-above a mile and a half, when we heard a discharge
-of several muskets on the left; which
-caused us to halt and look to the place where the
-firing had been. In a few seconds we saw a
-number more muskets fired, (for the darkness
-made the flash of even the pan of every musket
-distinctly visible,) and after that a field-piece, and
-then a general discharge of about 300 muskets;
-when it ceased. We knew that there was a guard
-of about 300 men, and a field-piece, with a working
-party of as many more, on the spot; and as the
-firing had ceased, we thought it might be a false
-attack to disturb the working party and alarm the
-army.&mdash;After standing a little, and all continuing
-quiet, we began with hesitation to proceed on our
-journey: but we had not moved many steps, when
-we heard the discharge of a musket on the right
-of the army: this produced a voluntary halt; and
-in a few seconds we heard the discharge of two
-or three more. We were then ordered to return,
-and had not proceeded far, before a number more
-discharges were heard in the same direction. This
-quickened our march, and we made all expedition
-towards the tent of the commander-in-chief, which
-was in the rear of the right of the army. Before
-we got there the firing on the right was beginning
-to be pretty thick. We were now ordered to resume
-the position we had left. It was yet dark;
-but the firing of musketry began to be heavy, and
-the artillery commenced playing, with the help of
-lighted lanterns to let them see to load. By the
-time we got to our position, the action was close
-and warm on the right, and the firing of musketry
-and artillery very heavy, which the darkness of
-the morning made peculiarly awful. There was
-now no doubt of a powerful and determined attack
-from the enemy. When we arrived at our position
-in the line, the day had begun faintly to dawn.
-The regiment which was to have taken our place,
-had not done it; a column of the enemy having
-ascended the brow of the hill in our front, were
-making towards the opening in the line where we
-should have been. The regiment on the right
-was extending its left, and the one on the left its
-right, and had filled up the one half of the space
-when we arrived. On our arrival a part of us
-filled up the opening, and began to fire on the
-enemy's column, which then retreated under the
-brow of the hill, out of our sight and below the
-range of shot. They left, however, a number
-of sharp-shooters on the edge of the hill, who
-kept up a straggling fire upon our line. The
-regiments on the right and left now closed their
-files, and we got all into line, and in good order;
-when the enemy's column, having adjusted itself
-under the brow of the hill, showed itself anew,
-and came forward to the attack. We again opened
-our fire upon them, which they returned; but
-after the second or third round, they again retreated
-as before, leaving a still greater number of
-sharp-shooters, who ranged themselves along the
-edge of the descent of the hill, which in part concealed
-them from us, but allowed them to have a
-fair view of our line, upon which they kept up a
-destructive fire. We returned a straggling fire
-upon them from the line, having no sharp-shooters
-in front to engage them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>When on the way back to the army, previously
-to entering upon this action, the state of my mind
-was rather different from what it had been before.
-I prayed earnestly for protection: but having so
-often failed in the promises I had made, I was
-afraid to make any more. I began to be diffident
-of myself. I did not plead with God on the promise
-of future amendment, but prayed for mercy.
-I used indeed the name of Christ; but had no right
-understanding, either of the true nature of the
-atonement for the guilt of sin, by his blood, or of
-his righteousness to justify the ungodly. My confidence
-was not placed in them for acceptance
-with God; but should death be the issue, I cast
-myself, with trembling hesitation, on his general
-mercy, and that with more resignation than formerly.
-I confessed my past failures, and prayed that
-if God was not pleased to preserve me unhurt, but
-if I was to be wounded, it might be in a merciful
-way; and that, if death was to be the issue, my
-sins might be pardoned. This was my prayer on
-entering the action, and as we had intervals of
-firing, I repeated it. But great as my fear of
-death was, I never thought of attempting to avoid
-it, by flinching from my duty as a soldier in such
-times of danger. I looked upon such conduct as
-sinful, and dared not seek present safety by an increase
-of guilt. I was also convinced, that cowardice
-was attended with the greatest danger, and
-that our greatest safety lay in every one doing his
-duty with steady courage. I had fired about twelve
-rounds, when the sun was beginning to appear in
-the horizon, and was in the act of ramming another
-cartridge, when a shot from one of the sharp-shooters,
-struck upon the inner ancle bone of my left
-foot; it turned round the back of the leg, passing
-between the sinew of the heel and the leg bone,
-and lodged just under the skin, a little above the
-bone of the outer ancle. It was there that I felt
-the pain. I was stunned with the stroke; but from
-the part in which I felt the pain, I did not think it
-was a ball, but that a large shot or shell, having
-struck some of the stones that were lying in the
-rear, a splinter from them had hit me in the back
-of the leg: I loaded my piece, and then, on lifting
-up my leg to see what was the matter, saw a
-musket-shot hole in the half-gaiter, and some appearance
-of blood. I shouldered my piece, but
-the sharp-shooters directly in front of me had disappeared.
-I stood a few seconds unresolved what
-to do; but feeling the pain increase, and seeing
-the blood beginning to appear more on the gaiter,
-and the officer commanding the company having
-come to the rear, and observing that I was
-wounded, he called to me to fall out, and I was
-induced to leave the ranks, but felt very reluctant
-to quit my comrades before the battle was decided:
-not that I loved to stay in a place of danger; but
-I did not like to leave them in the time of it; and
-had there been firing at the time, I should have
-continued to fire while I was able. As matters
-stood, however, I conceived it to be my duty, seeing
-I was disabled from keeping my place in the
-ranks, to make the best of my way, as long as I
-was able, to a place where I might be out of the
-reach of shot, and get my wound dressed, that it
-might not receive injury by delay. I got as quickly
-as I could to the rear, keeping my arms, accoutrements,
-and knapsack which I had on when wounded.
-The battle at this time was raging upon the
-right with terrible fury; and the brigade of guards
-immediately on the right of ours, were closely engaged.
-The roar of the artillery was dreadful.
-Daylight had now made both parties visible to
-each other; but the smoke of the firing obscured
-the distant view; so that, although the scene of
-contest was but a short way off from me, I could
-neither see our own line nor that of the enemy,
-all being covered with a thick cloud, through
-which nothing was visible, but the dark red glare
-of the flashes of the artillery. As I began to descend
-the height in the rear of the army, I was in
-imminent danger. The position of the brigade of
-guards, (which was on the right of ours,) and of
-the right of our own brigade, receded considerably
-from the spot on which our regiment stood, owing
-to the direction of the rising ground on which we
-were posted. In consequence of this, and of the
-positions of the enemy's columns and artillery, a
-large proportion of his shot, that had been fired at
-too high an elevation, fell in the rear of our regiment's
-tents. As I did not at the time observe
-this circumstance, I took the direct road from our
-own rear, to the landing place on Lake Maadie,
-distant about two miles. I was led by this route
-to cross the range of the falling shot. The musket
-and grape shot was coming down in showers, and
-further on, the large shot was striking and rebounding
-off the ground in rapid succession. I used
-all possible exertion to get through this danger;
-and, by the goodness of God, received no further
-hurt; while others, who, like myself, were wounded
-and retiring to the rear, did not escape. The
-exertion I had made, with the blood I was losing,
-which marked my steps in the sand, began to
-exhaust me; but I had the happiness of having
-my canteen full of water at the commencement
-of my retreat, which refreshed me. My arms, at
-length, however, becoming too heavy for me, I
-left my firelock in an erect posture, by running
-the bayonet into the ground, after taking the powder
-out of the pan, to prevent accidents to those
-that might find it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>When I had got near to the landing place, I
-found several surgeons, on the outside of an hospital
-tent that had been lately pitched for the sick,
-busily engaged in dressing some of the wounded
-that had arrived before me. I sat down to wait
-my turn to be dressed, which was not long, for the
-number before me was not great. When I took
-the gaiter off my leg, I pulled a piece of it out of
-the wound, and as the ball appeared prominent
-under the skin, it was easily extracted, and another
-piece of the gaiter was taken out, which was wrapped
-round it. The ball was flattened, and a part
-of it turned over by the resistance of the ancle
-bone; yet the bone was not broken. After I was
-dressed, I lay down at the side of a bush, until I
-might learn what was to be done with the wounded.
-By this time the firing of musketry had ceased
-on the field of battle; a cannonade alone was
-heard; and we were all anxiety respecting the
-success of the day, for if the army was compelled
-to retreat, the situation of the wounded would be
-distressing and dangerous. Great numbers of
-wounded were now arriving to be dressed, who
-brought different reports, some of them saying,
-they did not think that the army would be able to
-keep its ground. This made us look with anxiety
-to the heights, to observe if any retrograde motion
-was made; but the cannonade ceased; and we
-were informed that the enemy had been completely
-repulsed, and had retreated back to Alexandria.
-The action terminated about ten o'clock,
-<abbr class='spell'>A. M.</abbr></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>This action, though short, was severe and bloody,
-and was sustained on our part chiefly by the right
-wing of the army, the left having been only partially
-engaged. The object of the enemy was to
-dislodge the troops on the right, from the rising
-ground on which they were posted, and then to
-drive the army into Lake Maadie. He expected
-to possess himself of the rising ground before day-break;
-and being perfectly acquainted with the
-place, and with the way in which we were posted,
-he was at no loss to make his attack in the dark:
-but as it was our practice to stand under arms from
-three o'clock in the morning till an hour after day-break,
-we were not taken by surprise. The enemy's
-force consisted of nine thousand seven hundred
-men, of which fifteen hundred were cavalry;
-with forty-six pieces of cannon. Our army, by its
-losses in the former actions, by parties absent at
-Aboukir on duty, and by sickness, had been reduced
-to somewhat less than ten thousand, including
-four hundred cavalry; with thirty-six pieces
-of cannon. When the enemy retreated, he left
-seventeen hundred men dead and wounded on the
-field, of whom a thousand and forty were buried
-the first two days: he lost also four hundred horses.
-How many wounded retired, or had been removed,
-could not be known; but military judges calculate
-the whole at about four thousand men, which was
-more than a third of their whole number. We
-had two hundred and forty-three killed, one thousand
-one hundred and ninety-three wounded, and
-thirty-two missing, and four seamen killed, and
-twenty wounded, making a total of 1493.&mdash;Our
-worthy commander-in-chief, Sir Ralph Abercrombie,
-died on the <abbr title='twenty-eighth'>28th</abbr>, of a wound he received in
-the thigh, and was deeply regretted by the whole
-army. General Moore also was again wounded,
-but recovered in a short time and returned to his
-duty. The loss of our regiment was forty men.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Having lain at the bush until about two o'clock,
-I then observed a number of the wounded going
-on board of boats to be taken to the fleet. I got
-up and went to the landing place, and having got
-on board one of them, arrived at the fleet in the
-evening; where I was put on board a two-decked
-ship, appropriated for the reception of the wounded,
-and got into a berth with two more of the same
-regiment. Upwards of two hundred wounded men
-were collected on board of this ship; and the
-wounds of many of them being severe, numbers
-died during the first ten days. If any one wishes
-to know what were the topics of conversation
-among so many men in such circumstances, it
-pains me to state, that our conversation was about
-any thing but that one thing which most concerned
-us, and which ought to have engrossed our
-whole attention. About that world to which so
-many of us were daily departing, and about that
-God before whom so many were so soon to make
-their appearance, there was not a word to be
-heard, except it was in taking his name in vain.
-The groans of the dying were to be heard in
-various quarters of the ship, but no one either
-asking or telling how a sinner could be saved.
-Nor was I better than others. I did not improve
-my mercies. I had been wounded in a comparatively
-merciful manner, but I forgot the God to
-whom I had made my supplication, and neglected
-my Bible. I conversed with one of my comrades,
-who was a Scottish Episcopalian, upon church
-government, and he took some pains to inform me
-of the claims of Episcopacy, of which I was ignorant.
-But what did such topics avail to dying
-men, whose conversation ought to have been about
-the salvation of their souls? He was badly wounded
-in the thigh, and did not live many weeks. The
-part of my wound where the ball entered healed
-in about sixteen days; but the part where it was
-extracted became inflamed, and the foot and ancle
-swelled considerably. I was suspicious that the
-dirty water with which it was sometimes washed
-was the occasion of the inflammation. An erroneous
-opinion was entertained, that salt water
-would smart the wounds: and as fresh water was
-not in plenty on board the ship, only a small quantity
-of it was allowed for washing them. A great
-number were washed with one basin-full, and, as
-many of the wounds were foul, this was calculated
-to infect those that were clean. Had salt water
-been used, a basin of clean water might have been
-taken to every one. I was washed with salt water
-when in the hospital at Aboukir, and felt no difference
-between it and fresh. By the end of three
-weeks my wound began to mortify. I was then
-put into a boat to be taken to the hospital at
-Aboukir, along with a number more whose cases
-were considered bad. Two were so weak that
-they were unable to sit, and were laid upon
-gratings in the bottom of the boat: one of them
-died before we reached the shore, and the other
-died upon the beach. These cases made little impression
-upon my mind; death was becoming
-familiar to me, and I looked at it with a careless
-indifference. When the boat reached the shore I
-was carried to the Hutts hospital; which was a
-building upon a height, erected by the French to
-serve as barracks to their troops stationed at
-Aboukir.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>It was formed of the trunks of date trees split
-down the middle; the ends were sunk into the
-ground; the flat side of one tree was turned outwards,
-and the flat side of the next inwards, and
-so alternately, the round edges being made to
-overlap each other, and the crevices filled with
-plaster lime. It was roofed in the same manner.
-A great many bats had formed their nests in the
-holes, where the roof rested upon the upright
-posts.&mdash;Here I was well taken care of; so that by
-the mercy of God, the inflammation subsided, and
-in sixteen days the putrid flesh was wholly cleaned
-away, leaving a pretty large orifice. A part of the
-tendon of the heel seemed to have been eaten
-away by the inflammation, but the damage did not
-appear to be very serious, and it began to heal
-rapidly.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>While in this place, a small scorpion had got
-into my haversack, and as I put my hand into it
-to get some bread it stung me in the point of my
-thumb. This sensation resembled that which is
-produced by the sting of a bee, but the pain was
-more violent, and lasted for twenty-four hours before
-it subsided, but was attended by no other bad
-consequence.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The regiment to which I belonged, being at this
-time encamped at Aboukir, made an offer to
-accommodate their own wounded men, as the
-general hospital was crowded. This offer was
-accepted, and those that were in a condition to be
-moved were sent to the regimental hospital. I
-remained a day or two there; but, being healthy,
-and my wound likely to heal soon, I was removed
-to the convalescent tents, which, on account of
-some cases of fever in the regimental hospital,
-were at some distance. There I was left to dress
-my wound myself, which continued to mend, but
-not so rapidly as before. That dreadful calamity,
-the plague, made its first appearance at the Hutts
-hospital about the time that I left it; and, a few
-days afterwards, a corporal went with a party and
-buried a surgeon and two women in one hole, and
-seven others in another, that had already fallen
-victims to it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The strength that the enemy brought to the
-field on the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr> March, showed that they were
-far more numerous in Egypt than we had been
-led to believe. The greatest number that had been
-calculated to be there was 15,000; but they had
-27,000. As soon as the action of the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr> was
-over, the army made trenches along the whole position,
-and completed and increased the batteries
-and redoubts with all possible haste. The left
-was the weakest part of the position. The bed
-of Lake Mareotis was in front of it, but it was
-nearly dry, and passable in many parts both for
-horse and foot. Lake Maadie<a id='r12' /><a href='#f12' class='c006'><sup>[12]</sup></a> was in the rear
-of the left, being only separated from the bed of
-Lake Mareotis by the banks of the canal<a id='r13' /><a href='#f13' class='c006'><sup>[13]</sup></a> of
-Alexandria; and its waters were considerably
-above the level of Lake Mareotis and the surrounding
-country. On the <abbr title='thirteenth'>13th</abbr> April a large
-opening was made in the banks of the canal; the
-water rushed into Lake Mareotis with a fall of
-six feet, and it continued to rush in for a month,
-when it nearly found its level; but there continued
-always a fall of about a foot, owing to the sand
-absorbing the water. By this measure a large
-extent of country was inundated; the front of the
-position was contracted, and the left protected
-from assault; and Lord Hutchison, who had succeeded
-Sir Ralph Abercrombie, was enabled to
-proceed with a part of the army to Rosetta, which
-had been previously taken by a detachment, assisted
-by 4,000 Turks; General Coote being left
-with the remainder to blockade Alexandria. The
-force assembling at Rosetta was destined to march
-against Grand Cairo. The Grand Vizier was
-advancing with an army from Syria to co-operate
-in the same object. Our regiment was ordered to
-join the troops at Rosetta. Most of the men belonging
-to it, who had been left on board ship
-sick of the fever, at the time we landed, had by
-this time recovered, so that it was now pretty
-strong. I continued in the convalescent tents
-about a fortnight. To enable me, when necessary,
-to go abroad, I procured a rough piece of wood,
-upon which I got the head of a tent mallet fastened,
-to serve for a crutch. By the help of this,
-and a stick in the other hand, I made a shift to
-go out of the tent; but, not being very expert at
-the use of the crutch, as I was going out one day,
-the tent cords catched the lower end of it, and I
-fell down, with the wounded leg undermost. This
-was to me a serious accident; for my wound immediately
-began to get worse, and in a few days
-it was greatly inflamed, and discharging black
-matter. I was then removed to the hospital tents,
-to be near the surgeon. Orders came for the regimental
-hospital to be moved to Rosetta, and such
-cases as were not fit to be moved were sent to the
-general hospital, which was now an extensive
-establishment; for the sick and wounded that
-were on board the fleet were sent on shore, and
-lodged in large sheds. Into one of these I was
-taken, along with another, who had been in the
-same convalescent tent with me. He had been
-slightly wounded: a musket ball having grazed
-the front of his leg; he was able to walk about
-with little inconvenience, and was desired by the
-surgeon not to confine himself close to the tent, but
-to take the air, and some little exercise. We were
-not, however, aware of the extreme danger of
-having the skin broken in Egypt, let the hurt be
-ever so slight. His wound had got much worse;
-it was not to appearance so serious as mine, yet,
-after he was a few days in the general hospital, it
-was found necessary to amputate his leg, an operation
-which he did not survive long; for the
-stump mortified, and he died after lingering about
-five weeks. His case alarmed me not a little; and
-as my wound continued for some time to get worse,
-the inflammation spreading, the lower part of the
-leg swelling greatly, and the pain being excessive,
-I was the more apprehensive, and prayed earnestly
-for mercy. God was pleased to hear my cry, and
-to spare me once more. The inflammation by and
-by subsided; the pain became moderate, my appetite,
-which was lost, returned; and the wound
-began to clean and heal.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The weather was now very warm. The shed
-in which I was, was so constructed, as to combine
-the advantages of shade and air. The roof
-was formed of boards, (brought I suppose from
-Marmorice,) and was supported upon posts, made
-of the trunks of date trees, which were sunk into
-the ground at certain distances; boards were nailed
-to these posts, and about an inch left open betwixt
-each board, to the height of about four feet,
-and then there was an opening of about two feet
-to the edge of the roof. This shed was of great
-length, and was crossed by one or two similar
-ones. In them all there were three rows of beds,
-two rows with the ends of the beds to the sides of
-the shed, and one row set length-ways in the
-centre. Although these structures were so open
-in the sides we were sufficiently warm during the
-night. We were, however, much troubled with
-fleas, of which the sandy floor was full, so that it
-was impossible to get rid of them. Indeed the
-whole of the desert was full of these vermin.
-There were also some crickets of a very large
-size, which interrupted our sleep by the strong
-and constant sound of their music; not unmelodious
-in itself, had it not been unseasonable. The
-flies too gave us a vast deal of annoyance through
-the day. It was with difficulty that we could
-keep them out of our eyes; and they were most
-pernicious to those who had large putrid sores;
-for, as it was impossible to keep them out of the
-wound while it was dressing, this occasioned not
-only present trouble, but the breeding of maggots,
-which increased the torture of many who were
-sinking to the grave. Even those who were well,
-of all classes, found it needful to carry a small
-bunch of rushes tied upon a handle, to be used
-like a fan, to drive them away.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> of May, the hot wind came on.
-The air was darkened with mist, which was so
-thick that it rendered breathing difficult. We
-were glad to cover ourselves over the head with
-our blankets: for although the heat was intense,
-and the blankets disagreeably warm and heavy,
-yet we found our breathing more tolerable under
-them than when uncovered. The orderly men,
-who had to go out of the shed for water, and on
-other necessary business, complained of the heat
-of the wind, saying that it blew the sand in their
-faces as hot as fire.<a id='r14' /><a href='#f14' class='c006'><sup>[14]</sup></a> Towards evening the wind
-blew from the sea; the air became clear; and the
-night was about its usual coolness. But the consequences
-of this wind were dreadful to the hospital.
-The plague now raged with redoubled fury,
-and made fearful havoc among the nurses and
-orderly men, and those who had slight wounds.
-The three nurses who attended the division of the
-shed I was in, were infected one after the other,
-and were sent to the post hospital; where, as I
-afterwards heard, they died. One set of nurses
-and orderly men followed another in rapid succession
-for some weeks. It was observed, that
-none of those who had large sores were infected
-by it; but such sores after this period were more
-mortal, for mortifications now became rapid in
-their progress, and baffled the power of medicine
-to arrest them. Amputations were multiplied, but
-were mostly unavailing; and even sores comparatively
-slight, mortified and proved fatal. Some of
-the cases struck me forcibly.&mdash;A sailor who had
-a slight wound in one of his legs, and who could
-move about, and be serviceable to those that were
-bed-fast, went one night to the shore, which was
-not far off, to get some drink; his leg immediately
-got worse; in a few days the entire calf of it was
-one putrid ulcer, with numbers of maggots; poultices,
-spirits of wine, and other strong liquors, and
-tinctures were profusely used, but in vain&mdash;he
-died in about a week. Another, whose wound was
-cured, and who was ordered to join his regiment,
-absented himself on the night previous to the day
-appointed for his departure, and that of some
-others. In a day or two after the party was gone,
-he appeared in his place with a sore leg. It was
-believed that he had purposely scratched his shin
-with a stone; but whatever way he had taken to
-make it sore, the surgeon, who had not noticed
-his conduct, saw that it required dressing, which
-was done without any particular inquiry; and as
-none that knew his conduct liked spontaneously to
-inform upon him, he was not called in question.
-It was manifest, however, that cowardice was the
-cause of his injuring his leg, that he might remain
-in the hospital until danger was over. But the
-very means he took to avoid danger, to which he
-might never have, been exposed, proved his destruction.
-In three or four days his leg became so
-much inflamed, that amputation was rendered
-necessary. This was performed above the knee,
-but the inflammation had reached the thigh. As
-he lay nearly opposite to me, I saw the face of the
-stump when it was dressed. The skin never
-united; at the second or third dressing the flesh
-of the thigh was detached from the bone; so much
-so, that there was a large cavity underneath the
-bone, which made it visible almost to the joint.
-He died before next day, being about ten or twelve
-days from the time, he appeared with his leg sore.
-At my left hand lay a young man, a sailor belonging
-to the Northumberland 74, with a large ulcer
-in the under side of his right arm, a little below
-the arm pit. I formed an attachment to this young
-man; took a note of his own and his mother's
-name, and place of residence, and of the time
-when his wages became due; and promised, if I
-got safe to England, to inform them of these particulars,
-and of the time and circumstances of his
-death, for he was sensible that death was near.
-But there is one thing that gives me no small
-pain, when I reflect upon it, to this day; that, although
-I saw he was dying, I was not able, with
-all the religion I thought I had, to point my dying
-comrade to the Saviour. Not having found a
-Saviour to my own soul, whatever I might say
-about religion or religious subjects, a Saviour, properly
-so called, was no part of my system. I who
-never beheld Jesus, as the Lamb of God which
-taketh away the sin of the world, could not point
-him out, in that soul-reviving character, to others;
-neither did there appear to be in this house of death,
-any one that could point his dying comrades to a
-Saviour, nor any among the dying throng, that
-were asking after a Saviour. Whatever emotions
-might be passing through the minds of any, the
-question as to what became of the soul after death,
-the hope of heaven, or the fear of hell, the way
-to attain the one and escape the other, never became
-a subject of conversation; and yet if ever
-circumstances, (short of those of criminals condemned
-to die, without any hope of mercy, upon
-a particular day,) could have forced such conversation
-upon a company of sinful mortals, it must
-have been the circumstances we were in. But
-every one seemed to indulge the hope of life, until
-the cold hand of death was already on his heart,
-and left him little time to think of that world to
-which he was going, and less ability to communicate
-his thoughts to others, or to ask, or to receive
-information. And this was the case, not in this
-hospital only, but in all the hospitals I was in,
-both before and afterwards. I did indeed say a
-few words to my dying comrade, about praying
-for mercy to his soul, and made use of the name
-of Jesus in a formal way; and he continued for
-several days before his death, to pray very earnestly
-to God for mercy, and made use of that name:
-but whether he understood the character of Jesus
-as a Saviour, and was led to place his dependence
-upon his merits, is more than I can tell. It may
-be, that the Spirit of Christ, in his sovereign
-grace, gave him a saving knowledge of that name
-that was used at first in ignorance, and led him to
-trust in him for salvation; but if this was the case,
-it was known only to himself; he was unable to
-make it known to others; and, although he had
-been able to tell me if I asked, I was unable to
-discern it; for he that has not been enlightened
-by the Spirit of Christ himself, and brought out of
-darkness into marvellous light, is ill qualified to
-discern when that change takes place upon others.<a id='r15' /><a href='#f15' class='c006'><sup>[15]</sup></a></p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f7'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r7'>7</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>I quote these words from Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson's history, which
-contains a degree of knowledge that I could not pretend
-to. The statements which I give of the strength of the
-enemy, the number of cannon they had on the field on
-the different days, and what we took from them, I also
-state upon his authority. The account of the losses of the
-army I take from the statements in the gazettes, which I
-believe to be pretty correct, for I have found that they
-gave a true account of the loss of my own regiment, and I
-have heard soldiers of other regiments say the same of the
-gazette accounts of the loss of theirs.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f8'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r8'>8</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The boats had gradually verged to the left during their
-progress, so that this height, which before appeared to be
-opposite their centre, was now opposite their right.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f9'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r9'>9</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>It was afterwards said that it was the dromedary corps.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f10'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r10'>10</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>He was taken on board one of the ships in the fleet,
-and had one of his legs amputated, but he died in a few
-days, and was buried on shore, at Aboukir.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f11'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r11'>11</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>For the information of such readers as have not access
-to large works, I will take the liberty of inserting an account
-of the dimensions of these celebrated and ancient
-monuments, from Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson's history.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"Pompey's Pillar is of the Corinthian order, and eighty-eight
-feet six inches in height; the shaft formed of a single
-block of granite, retaining the finest polish, except where
-the wind on the north-east front has chafed the surface a
-little; it is sixty-four feet in height, and eight feet four
-inches in diameter.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"About thirty yards in the rear of the French intrenchments,
-stands Cleopatra's Needle, and one of equal magnitude
-is lying close by, horizontally. The form of these
-obelisks is of considerable elegance, and their magnitude
-is enormous, considering that each is only one piece of
-granite; their height is sixty-eight feet three inches, and
-their base seven feet seven inches by seven feet square;
-their sides are covered with hieroglyphics, which, on the
-eastern front of the one that is upright, are much effaced
-by the wind.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"Tradition affirms that they ornamented the gate of Cleopatra's
-palace. From the quantity of marble, &amp;c. &amp;c. found
-near the spot, probably the residence of the sovereigns of
-Egypt was placed there."&mdash;<i>History of the Expedition</i>, <abbr title='second'>2d</abbr> <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr>
-<abbr title='pages'>pp.</abbr> 156, 158, 159.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Dr. <abbr class='spell'>E. D.</abbr> Clark, the traveller, who has paid great attention
-to the study of the age and design of ancient monuments,
-thinks that the <i>shaft</i> of Pompey's Pillar "is of much
-earlier antiquity than either the <i>capital</i> or the <i>pedestal</i>."
-He gives probable reasons to believe that the <i>shaft</i> was
-made in the time of <i>Alexander the Great</i>, the founder of
-<i>Alexandria</i>, and who was buried there, to be a sepulchral
-pillar to the memory of that monarch; but that <i>Julius Caesar</i>
-had set it upon a <i>pedestal</i>, and had put a <i>capital</i> upon it in
-honour of Pompey, whose head he caused to be burnt with
-funeral honours, and the ashes put into an <i>urn</i>, and placed
-on the top of the <i>pillar</i>: but that the <i>pillar</i> had likely fallen
-afterwards, and had been restored by the emperor <i>Hadrian</i>.&mdash;<i>Clarke's
-Travels, <abbr title='fourth'>4th</abbr> Edit.</i> <abbr title='octavo'>8vo.</abbr> <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> <abbr title='5'>v.</abbr> <abbr title='chapter'>ch.</abbr> <abbr title='5'>vii.</abbr> <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr>
-361, &amp;c.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f12'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r12'>12</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Or Sed; "sometimes called the Lake of Aboukir. The
-passage into it at Aboukir, is about two hundred yards
-wide, and was made about the year 1782, by the sea
-breaking down the dyke, which had been built ages back,
-to recover from the ocean that part of the country which
-now is Lake Maadie." <i>History of the Expedition to Egypt</i>,
-p. 27.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f13'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r13'>13</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>This canal commences at Rhamanieh, on the banks of
-the Nile, and passes over fifteen or sixteen leagues of
-country. The bed of it is above the level of Egypt; the
-banks are formed of earth raised wholly above the surface.
-There is no water in it, but at the time of the inundation
-of the Nile. The beds of the canals in Egypt are all above
-the level of the country, that, when cut, the water may
-run out of them. They are properly canals of irrigation.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f14'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r14'>14</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>This wind was still more dreadful in the interior of
-the country; and at the place where the army was on its
-march to Cairo; as appears by the following extract from
-Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson's History of the Expedition to Egypt, <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> 1.
-p. 177.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'><i>ALGUM, <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> May.</i></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"This day will ever be remarkable to the Egyptian
-army; a sirocco wind darkened with a burning mist the
-atmosphere; the thermometer was at 120 in the shade; the
-ground was heated like the floor of a furnace; every thing
-that was metallic, such as arms, buttons; knives, &amp;c. became
-burning hot; the poultry, exposed to the air, and
-several horses and camels died; respiration was difficult,
-and the lungs were parched with fiery particles. Had the
-heat continued forty-eight hours, the effect would have
-been dreadful: but happily as night drew on, the wind
-cooled, and at last changed to the north west.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"At Balbeis, the thermometer was at 130; on the western
-side of the Nile 120; at Alexandria 105."</p>
-
-<p class='c005'><i>Extract from a Journal written by one of my comrades.</i></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>"We had one day's hot wind from the south; it began
-to blow about 9 o'clock; and wo be to him that is far from
-shelter, as neither man nor beast can survive it three days!
-It came from the desert as hot as the opening of an oven
-door, bringing small sand like mist along with it. All the
-sentinels were called in, and the cattle crept close to the
-ground and groaned for fear. The buffaloes took to the
-river, covering themselves, all but the nose, in the water;
-and no man was able to stir out of his tent until the evening."</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f15'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r15'>15</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The promise that I made of informing his relatives of
-the time and circumstances of his death, I fulfilled when I
-came to Ireland, for which I received a letter of thanks
-from his brother.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap6' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='six'>VI.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>Preparations having been made for erecting
-a general hospital in the town of Rosetta, all that
-were capable of being removed from Aboukir were
-sent there. I left Aboukir, and was taken on
-board of a Germ on the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> June; which sailed
-in the afternoon; and at day-break next morning,
-we were near the entrance of the Rosetta branch of
-the Nile. The surf on the bar, at the mouth of the
-river, was high; but the Arabs, who navigated the
-vessel, risked the passage. The hazard on such occasions
-is considerable, owing to the surf, and the
-shallowness of the water on the bar: for the vessel
-is in danger of striking on the bottom between the
-surges; and, when this takes place, the next wave
-that comes is apt either to break over her and fill
-her with water, or to overset her.&mdash;When we came
-opposite that part of the bar, which the Arabs
-thought deepest, they pointed the bow of the vessel
-to it, and clued up the sails that she might
-have little pitch, and might float as level as possible;
-they then got out hand poles; and, as soon as
-she began to lose head-way, they set the poles to
-the bottom, and pushed her forward with all their
-power, making a great noise, until we got over
-the bar into smooth water. There were several
-masts of vessels visible near where we passed, that
-had recently been swamped in this dangerous passage.
-Many British seamen lost their lives here,
-for they were ignorant of its real danger, and
-would hardly be convinced of it, because it had
-not at a distance a very dangerous appearance. It
-was not until they had actually got upon the bar,
-that the extent and nature of the danger were perceivable;
-and then, to attempt to return against
-the wind and surge is vain; they must push
-through or perish. At the first I wondered why
-the Arabs were making so much noise; but when
-we came upon the bar my surprise ceased. I had
-never seen any thing like it; yet the wind was not
-stormy, and if such was the state of this place
-with a moderate wind, how terrible must it be in
-a storm.&mdash;As soon as we were in smooth water,
-the large sails were again spread out to the wind,
-we passed rapidly up the Nile, and in a short time
-were at Rosetta.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I was soon taken into a large square building,
-having a square court in the centre, and piazzas
-round about from the bottom to the top; the ground
-flat, which was high in the roof, was occupied as
-cellars, store-houses, &amp;c. There were two flats
-above, the various apartments of which communicated
-with piazza'd passages, round the centre
-square. This building, from the largeness of its
-size, and the number of its apartments, accommodated
-a great many patients, consisting of men
-of all the different regiments, promiscuously lodged
-together.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>In coming into a place of this kind, among so
-many strange faces, and various and opposite characters,
-it is a matter of some consequence to meet
-with some one previously known, to whom you
-can talk, in whom you can place confidence, and
-who will act the part of a comrade. In this respect
-I was fortunate; falling in with a man of my own
-company, whose bed was next to mine: a young
-man of agreeable dispositions. He was the rear
-rank man of the second file from my right, in the
-battle of the <abbr title='thirteenth'>13th</abbr> March, who got the calf of his
-leg grazed by the cannon ball, as formerly related.
-His leg was now in a hopeful way; and being able
-to move about with the help of a stick, he was
-serviceable to me who was confined to bed. In
-this building we were more cool than on the
-sands of Aboukir; the flies were not so excessively
-troublesome through the day; and as the floor,
-which was upon arches, was paved with flat stones,
-or large bricks, the fleas were not so numerous.
-But a new enemy attacked us during the night,
-which we had not met with before&mdash;the mosquitoes.
-They were very troublesome; and there
-was no way of securing ourselves from their bite,
-which was very sharp, and for a while had an inflammatory
-effect; so much so, that every one for
-some time after his arrival, resembled a person in
-the height of the measles. Our accommodation
-and attendance were much better here in many
-respects. We were provided with sheets for our
-beds, which was very agreeable; for a sheet was
-as much as one could bear for a covering during
-the night; nor was even that needed so much for
-heat, as to be a partial defence against the musquitoes.
-Our woollen blankets, which would have
-been quite uncomfortable from their heat, were
-very useful now to put under us; for our beds
-being made of branches of the date tree, put across
-each other, with a slender matt, made of a particular
-kind of rushes, laid over them to cover the
-holes, the cross spars soon became prominent, and
-were very uneasy to lie upon. My knapsack was
-my pillow, and my blanket, folded <i>four-ply</i>, I put
-under me. Without it indeed, it would not have
-been possible to lie in the beds; and even with it,
-they were very uncomfortable, especially for those
-who were long and close confined to them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I had not been in Rosetta above a fortnight,
-when my wound again inflamed and mortified in
-a most alarming degree; the leg swelled excessively,
-and the wound became large and jet black,
-with a most offensive smell. I was very much
-alarmed; I beheld many dying, whose wounds
-were in a similar state, and some of them
-apparently not so bad; the severity of pain deprived
-me of appetite: nor could I so much as
-drink the wine that was allowed me. The pain
-continued to increase; the discharge from the
-wound was great; I was reduced to a skeleton, and
-my strength was failing fast; I was at the gates of
-death; and, with eternity before me, I was destitute
-of that discernment of the merits and grace of
-the Great Redeemer, which alone can form a sure
-ground of confidence, and a true source of consolation
-to a poor sinner, ready to perish. I again reflected
-on my past life, and accused myself of want
-of firmness in my resolutions. I thought God had
-now afflicted me in order to make me hate sin,
-and love righteousness; and that were I again restored
-to health, and free from pain, nothing in this
-world would be able to make me leave my duty:
-and I flattered myself that what I had now suffered
-had destroyed the love of sin in my heart. Under
-this persuasion, being in agony through the severity
-of pain, I exclaimed, "Lord, let it suffice thee,
-for it is enough; take but thine hand from me
-this once!" Although this was not a prayer becoming
-a sinner ready to perish, which ought to
-have been a supplication for mercy for the sake of
-Christ; yet God was pleased in his compassion to
-grant me the thing I sought. He did remove his
-hand, and spare my life; the mortification, after
-having raged about three weeks, subsided; the
-putrid flesh began to fall away; the burning pain
-left the wound; and in about ten days it was clean;
-but the mortification had detached, and wholly
-destroyed, the greater part of the tendon of the
-heel. I now looked upon myself as one that had
-been rescued from the grave, and the occurrences
-that took place immediately, tended still more
-strongly to impress this upon my mind. The
-wound of my comrade, who had been serviceable
-to me when I was so ill, as I began to mend, grew
-worse, inflamed, and in a few days, nearly the
-whole of the calf of his leg was one putrid mass.
-A blood-vessel burst in it during the night; but he
-was in such pain, that he was not sensible of the
-bleeding, which continued until day break; when
-the floor under and around his bed was covered
-with blood. The surgeon was sent for, to whom
-he said, "I believe Sir, I have been bleeding to
-death in the night time, and was not sensible of
-it." The bleeding had now ceased, but he was
-so weak that he was unable to speak; and he died
-in a few hours, and was carried out and buried.
-The Saviour's words, "One shall be taken and
-the other left," struck me forcibly in these circumstances:
-when my comrade, who was so
-shortly before in a fairer way of recovery than I
-was, was thus cut off, and I was left as a monument
-of God's sparing mercy.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>His bed was not long empty. In a few days
-an Irish grenadier was brought to it, whose case
-was truly hopeless. He had had a boil on the
-lower part of the breast, which had mortified; the
-mortification had spread over the breast, and had
-eaten a hole larger than a dollar into the chest, so that
-when the dressing was off, the inside of the chest
-was visible. He lived in great agony for about six
-days, and died; by which time the hole into the
-chest was much larger.&mdash;In a few days after, the
-same bed was filled by an artilleryman, a townsman
-of my own, who had got the calf of one of his
-legs accidentally bruised. The leg inflamed; amputation
-was resorted to; but, with all the attention
-the surgeons paid to him, he also died in a very
-short time. My wound continued to mend; and
-as soon as I was able to move, I got a crutch and
-a staff, and a strap to support my leg, and got out
-of bed for a part of the day, after having been confined
-to it nearly six months.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>This was about the middle of September, before
-the Nile had attained the height of its inundation.
-I passed a part of the day, sitting in one
-of the front windows which looked to the Nile,
-and remarked its daily progress. As I grew
-stronger, I got upon the roof of the building, which
-was flat, and had a view of the town and the surrounding
-country. In the country, on the opposite
-side of the Nile, nothing was to be seen, as
-far as the eye could reach, but water, with the
-trees standing in it. I travelled about too, visiting
-my acquaintances in the hospital who belonged to
-the same regiment with myself.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Some of the Arab watermen were employed to
-supply the hospital with water. They brought it
-from the Nile<a id='r16' /><a href='#f16' class='c006'><sup>[16]</sup></a> upon their backs, in the skins of
-goats slung across their shoulders. The skin had
-been sewed up after being taken off the animal,
-and was in its natural shape; the neck part being
-left open for filling and emptying. (This was
-simply twisted and held together with the hand,
-when the skin was to be immediately emptied;
-but it might be tied, when it was to be kept full,
-or carried to a distance.) All kinds of liquids,
-even wine and honey are kept in these skins.&mdash;This
-illustrates the parable of the new wine and
-old bottles, Luke <abbr title='5'>v.</abbr> 37, 38. The bottles were
-<i>skins</i>: and, as wine is a fermented liquor, the skin
-bottles, once used, would be so much impregnated
-with the wine that had been in them, that if new
-wine were put into them, it would cause it to ferment
-anew; and this would burst them. The
-original inmates of the hospital were now greatly
-reduced; a number having recovered, and a great
-many having died: but it was not allowed in any
-part to remain empty. Grand Cairo having surrendered
-to the British and Turkish forces on the
-<abbr title='twenty-fourth'>24th</abbr> June, the sick of our own army were sent
-down the Nile; and they filled up all the vacancies.
-Cases of dysentery, and sore eyes, were so
-numerous, that a number of buildings were fitted
-up in Rosetta for their reception. Many died of
-the dysentery; but those afflicted with sore eyes
-were most numerous, and much to be pitied.&mdash;Their
-torment was excessive: the pain in their
-eyes was as if they had been filled with burning
-sand, they had no respite from acute sufferings;
-and many lost their sight in spite of all the
-power of medicine. About the end of August, my
-own eyes became dreadfully inflamed in one night.
-The surgeon applied a very large blister in the
-morning, and by next day the inflammation was
-greatly subsided, but I did not get wholly free of
-it until I left Egypt, and was several days at sea
-on the way to Malta. The Egyptian <i>ophthalmia</i>
-was one of the most dreadful calamities that ever
-befel the British army.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The French that were in Cairo, amounting to
-13000, were embarked and sent to France in the
-month of August.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>As my leg continued to mend, I felt grateful to
-God for his great mercy to me; but it was not long,
-until I had to accuse myself of having failed in duty,
-and come short of my promise; and this threw
-me into dejection of mind; which however wore
-gradually off. As I had much leisure time, I read
-more of my Bible than formerly; but the historical
-parts attracted my attention more than the doctrinal.
-Happening to read through the beginning
-of Exodus, I was struck when I found, that I had
-made use of the same words that Pharaoh used to
-Moses, <abbr title='chapter'>chap.</abbr> <abbr title='nine'>ix.</abbr> <abbr title='verse'>ver.</abbr> 28, and which he afterwards
-repeated, <abbr title='chapter'>chap.</abbr> <abbr title='ten'>x.</abbr> <abbr title='verse'>ver.</abbr> 17. This made me fear,
-lest I should prove like Pharaoh; and in place of
-being softened by mercies, and bound by gratitude,
-become hardened by them and perish in the end.
-I then recollected, that I had heard Dr. Balfour
-preach, from Hebrews <abbr title='three'>iii.</abbr> 12, 13, I remembered
-the words, "<i>lest any of you be hardened through
-the deceitfulness of sin</i>," and I turned to the passage
-and read it. It led me to ponder on the deceitful
-nature, and dangerous tendency of sin;
-which increased my fear that I might become
-hardened, and made my mind very uneasy. I
-would sometimes think on the instructions I had
-got, and the tasks I had learned at the Sabbath
-school; which I had now almost forgotten: I remembered
-some little of the seventeenth chapter of
-John, for the learning of which, myself and others
-had received a penny. This led me to read it, and
-the fifty-third of Isaiah, which also I had learned;
-but I did not understand its import, although familiar
-with the words. I then turned over all the
-parallel passages, that I had read, in proof of doctrines
-in the school; and although I did not understand
-those that treated of the way of a sinner's
-acceptance with God, by faith in the righteousness
-and atonement of the great Redeemer, yet it helped
-to keep the words of Scripture relative to these
-doctrines on my memory, which was of use to me
-afterwards. But the doctrines of heaven, and hell,
-the resurrection, and eternal judgment, are more
-readily apprehended: and these made increasingly
-strong impressions on my mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I was now pretty certain that I was unfit for military
-service; and from Egypt, the land of bondage,
-I cast a longing eye to my native home, and
-wished myself there, that I might enjoy the benefits
-of a Sabbath, the instructions of religious
-teachers, and freedom from the society of the
-wicked. All my hopes now centered in this, and
-had I despaired of it, I would have given myself
-over for lost.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>After the French were embarked who had surrendered
-at Cairo, our troops which had been
-there, rejoined the army that was blockading Alexandria.
-Several regiments had lately come from
-England, so that it was now pretty strong. Alexandria
-was immediately besieged in form, and the
-operations pushed so vigorously, that the garrison
-was compelled to surrender on the 1st September,
-on condition of retaining their private property and
-being sent to France. Their number was about
-eleven thousand, of all descriptions. This event
-terminated hostilities in Egypt, and our troops prepared
-to leave it as soon as possible. Rosetta was
-occupied during the siege by a division of British,
-and Sepoys, natives of India, under the command
-of Sir David Baird, who had come from the East
-Indies to our assistance, with about seven thousand
-men. They had sailed up the Red sea, and
-marched through the desert, and arrived at Cairo
-shortly after it had surrendered. The Sepoys,
-when off duty, laid aside their uniforms, and
-walked about in the burning sun with nothing on
-the body but a pair of very short white drawers.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The dress of men and women of the common
-people of Egypt, consists of a blue cotton gown
-resembling a woman's shift: some have an upper
-and under garment. The men wear a sash or
-girdle round the middle; a turban and slippers;
-but no stockings. The women have no girdle
-round the middle; they wear vails; of which those
-that I saw were of coarse net-work, resembling
-the texture of a serjeant's sash, and shaped like the
-little bag nets used for catching trout in small
-rivers. The mouth of them is put under the chin
-and over the forehead, and is fastened behind:
-there are two holes opposite to the eyes, and the
-tapering end hangs down the breast. They appear
-to think, that modesty lies in concealing from
-public view the lower part of the face, whilst they
-are very negligent in other respects, which are
-more essential to that virtue. To Europeans the
-appearance of their faces, and particularly the part
-that is usually concealed, is no way interesting.&mdash;Their
-complexion is dark; their eyes, in general,
-are inflamed; and their cheeks and chins are
-marked with the figures of half moons, stars, &amp;c.
-in the way that our sailors mark themselves.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>In some of the towns, girls, 14 years old, were
-seen going to the river for water, in a state of
-complete nudity; and males of all ages were seen
-mixed together in groupes, in the same state,
-without any sense of shame. They anoint their
-bodies with olive oil, which prevents the sun from
-blistering the skin. There are no stools or chairs
-for sitting upon in Egypt; their common way of
-sitting is upon the hams of their legs, in which
-posture they will remain for hours, apparently as
-much at their ease as a European upon a chair;
-they eat their meals in a reclining posture, but
-make no use of knives, forks or spoons; when they
-sup they literally "dip their hand in the dish,"<a id='r17' /><a href='#f17' class='c006'><sup>[17]</sup></a>
-and feed themselves with their fingers in place of
-spoons. The above customs were practised in
-the time of Christ, and still exists through the east.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>There are numbers of mosques, or Mahomedan
-churches, in the towns. They have, in general, a
-particular kind of spires, called minarets, some of
-which are very lofty: they are in shape at the top
-like an onion, but have no weathercocks, nor clocks,
-nor bells; of which latter, the Mahomedan religion
-prohibits the use. The minarets have all one or
-more balustrades round them, into which a man
-ascends at the end of every watch, and walks
-round, calling the people to prayers with as loud a
-voice as he possibly can. In Egypt it is commonly
-a blind man who performs this office.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The uninterrupted sunshine at Cairo, afforded
-the French the means of partly supplying the want
-of clocks and bells, by ascertaining exactly when
-it was twelve o'clock. They mounted one of the
-guns in the citadel upon a peculiar construction,
-and put some fine brass work at the breech, in
-which was a burning glass just over the touch
-hole; by which the rays of the sun, the instant he
-reached the meridian, kindled the powder and fired
-the gun. This is a proof that clouds and rain
-are seldom seen at Cairo; otherwise the firing of
-the gun could not have been depended on. When
-the French left the citadel, the Turks got possession
-of it; and some of them broke and stole the
-brass work of this gun, supposing the polished metal
-to be gold.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The heat of the country was very oppressive;
-and the army that went to Cairo suffered much
-from it during their march. The perspiration
-came through their clothes, and wetted their buff
-belts opposite the back, just as if they had been
-soaked in water.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>About this time a very melancholy accident
-happened to some men of the <abbr title='thirteenth'>13th</abbr> regiment of
-foot. Their regimental store house was in a building
-a few yards from the hospital; some of them
-were employed sorting cartridges in a room on the
-first floor, when one of them came in smoking tobacco,
-and thoughtlessly held his head over an
-open chest into which they were packing the cartridges;
-a spark fell from the pipe, and the powder
-exploded and gave a violent shock to the hospital
-and adjacent buildings; several men, and a
-serjeant's wife, were killed in the house, and I
-think nine or ten more were much bruised and
-dreadfully burned, and were brought into the hospital;
-their condition was more pitiful than that
-of those who were severely wounded, because so
-much of the skin of the face and body had been
-burned, that they had not sound skin left to lie
-upon; five or six of them lingered about a week in
-great agony, and died. I think that twelve or
-sixteen were killed or severely injured by this accident.
-Some who were sitting in the bottom of
-an open window, with their legs over the wall,
-were blown down into the street, but were not
-much hurt.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Towards the end of September, my wound was
-nearly whole, but my leg was very much contracted.
-I was ordered to prepare to join my regiment
-at Alexandria to go home with it. But before
-taking a final leave of the hospitals, I would
-make a few further remarks upon the manner in
-which I saw my fellow creatures depart this life.
-And it must be confessed, that to all appearance
-many of them died <i>hardy</i>; they might groan through
-extremity of bodily pain, but did not exhibit any
-anguish of mind at the fear of death or judgment;
-but I could not discern any rational ground for this
-apparent want of anxiety about futurity. To
-make a merit of meeting death bravely, when it
-can not be avoided, is but a poor reason for a rational,
-immortal, and accountable creature, to act
-upon. If man is a sinner, and must render an
-account to his Maker when he dies, surely to manifest
-no concern about the issue of death, is not to
-act the part worthy of a rational creature. To
-shut out all concern about eternity, in order to act
-the <i>hero</i> at the last, is liker the conduct of a blind
-madman than a true <i>hero</i>; for true courage in the
-hour of death can only be founded on the knowledge
-of our being happier hereafter; and this persuasion
-is only to be attained, by the reception of
-the good news of salvation by Jesus Christ, revealed
-in the Scriptures. Infidelity has said much
-against the superstition of the Bible; but while it
-does this, it gives an accountable creature nothing
-in the room of it upon which to found a reasonable
-hope for eternity. Infidels have often said that
-the fears of hell which make men afraid to die,
-are the produce of superstition. Were there none
-of those whom I saw die, who had freed themselves
-of the fears produced by the Bible account of a future
-state? It is likely that some of them had; for
-their previous habits and behaviour were as opposite
-to the Scriptures, as if they had never heard
-of such a book; and it was as little talked of, as
-if it had never existed. If infidelity be <i>true</i>, the
-death of its disciples ought to be more dignified
-and composed than that of any others: their future
-prospects ought to be the most certain, intelligent,
-and cheering to the immortal soul, when it is about
-to take its flight into the world of spirits and return
-to God who gave it. A dying infidel, if his
-system be <i>truth</i>, should be one that should rejoice
-in death, that he had freed himself from the fears
-produced by the Bible; he ought to be able to direct
-those around his dying bed to the truth that
-supports his mind, and show, at the same time,
-that he has a proper discernment of his own condition
-as an accountable creature, and suitable
-conceptions of the moral character of his Maker
-and Judge. But of all that I ever saw die, I never
-heard any rejoicing in the assertions of infidelity:
-I saw many die apparently <i>hardy</i>; but their
-deaths resembled more that of the beasts that perish,
-than of accountable immortal creatures. I
-have since seen Christians die, but the manner of
-their death was very different: their conceptions of
-the majesty and holy purity of God were exalted;
-their sense of the evil of their own sins, and the
-moral responsibility of their conduct, was deep;
-but with all this full in their view, they had good
-hope through trusting in Christ; and I never yet
-saw or heard of a dying Christian who regretted
-that he had trusted too much to Christ, or thought
-too highly of him; but the contrary. I have often
-heard them regret deeply that they had thought too
-lowly of him, and of what he had done to save
-sinners, and had trusted too little to him, and depended
-too little on the promises of the Bible; and
-I have heard them pray earnestly for forgiveness for
-this, as being the most heinous of all their sins.&mdash;Reader,
-if ever your mind has been stumbled by
-the arguments of infidelity, try it by this test,&mdash;what
-provision does it make for eternity, to a sinful
-and accountable creature; and you will find
-that in this most important of all other concerns it
-makes no provision whatever: it is revelation
-alone that either does or can make any provision
-for a certain ground of hope for futurity. God
-alone can tell how he will forgive sin: he has
-done this in the Scriptures, and there alone. O
-be sure you examine what is revealed in them upon
-this subject, and build your hope for eternity
-only upon what God has revealed to a sinner to
-trust in, that you may not die in despair, nor be
-deluded by a false hope, and finally be disappointed:
-and for this purpose, I earnestly entreat
-your serious consideration of what is said towards
-the conclusion of this narrative.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Before leaving the hospital, I feel bound in gratitude
-to acknowledge the care and attention that
-was paid to the sick and wounded: all things considered,
-every thing was done for them that could
-be done, and much expense was incurred for
-medicines, attendance, and accommodation, and
-every exertion made to procure suitable provisions.
-When I think upon it to this day, I feel grateful
-for the care that was taken of the helpless, and
-those who were rendered unfit to serve their country
-any longer: by this means many were preserved
-to their families and their friends, who
-otherwise would never have returned.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>On the <abbr title='twenty-ninth'>29th</abbr> September, I embarked in a Germ
-on the Nile, which dropped down the river, and
-lay near the entrance, to be ready to pass the bar
-early in the morning, that being the most favourable
-time; for the wind rises at sun rise, and
-blows from the sea up the river during the day,
-with a steady, and sometimes strong breeze, and
-dies away in the evening. Vessels going up the
-Nile carry a press of sail, and go at a great rate
-during the day, and stop at night: vessels going
-down the river lower their sails and yards, lay
-their broadside to the stream, and drift along with
-it. On the morning of the <abbr title='thirtieth'>30th</abbr>, the wind and
-surf were so high, that it was unsafe to attempt
-passing the bar; so that we returned to Rosetta
-and lay it the quay three days, waiting for moderate
-weather. The Nile was still considerably
-above its banks: the extensive fields of rice, and
-corn, particularly on the east side, excited my admiration.
-The seed had been sown previously
-to the inundation, and had taken root and grown
-up with the rise of the water; which made it to
-have a compact and level surface, resembling that
-of a bowling-green, for many miles. This crop
-would be ripe, by the time the inundation would
-fall within the banks of the river; and another crop
-of wheat or barley, and one of clover or vegetables,
-would be produced before the return of the inundation
-next year.&mdash;Water is raised by buffaloes and
-oxen from the river, into the canals;<a id='r18' /><a href='#f18' class='c006'><sup>[18]</sup></a> the beds of
-which are above the level of the country. It is
-let out into the fields during the growth of the
-other two crops; and when the last one is reaped,
-this labour is suspended. Then the heat of the
-sun soon dries the ground, and rends it into numerous
-and deep fissures; some of them are from
-ten to twenty feet deep. The army experienced
-considerable difficulty from this cause, on its
-march back from Cairo; particularly at night,
-when both men and horses were in danger of having
-their legs broke by falling into them.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>While I lay at the quay, I was astonished at the
-great number of boats discharging cargoes of grain,
-which was piled in huge heaps in the open air,
-not far from the brink of the river;<a id='r19' /><a href='#f19' class='c006'><sup>[19]</sup></a> a sight which
-reminded one of the words of Jacob, "I have
-heard that there is <i>corn</i> in Egypt." But, with all
-this plenty, it is a miserable place. The common
-people enjoy little of its abundance; their condition
-is the most wretched I ever saw or heard of among
-civilized nations. The houses of the peasantry
-are mere hovels, little if any thing better than the
-Kraals of the wild Hottentots.<a id='r20' /><a href='#f20' class='c006'><sup>[20]</sup></a> The inhabitants
-of the land of Egypt, which was the house of
-bondage to the children of Israel, now suffer
-bondage in their own land, little, if at all, interior
-to that which their ancestors made the Israelites
-suffer. The government has for a long time been
-in the hands of Turks or Mamelukes, who are
-always foreigners, and who rule with rigour; and
-the inhabitants never take any interest in the
-affairs of the government, but are entirely passive
-to every change that takes place. The country
-abounds with Arabs. The Copts, its original inhabitants,
-are the fewest in number; they profess
-Christianity, and are the more liable, on that account,
-to be oppressed by their Mahomedan masters.
-The prediction is now fully verified, that
-Egypt, once the <i>first</i> of nations, should become the
-<i>basest</i> of kingdoms: <abbr title='Ezekiel'>Ezek.</abbr> <abbr title='29'>xxix.</abbr> 15, 16. It is
-sunk so low in ignorance and wretchedness, that,
-if it were not for the many elegant and stupendous
-remains of antiquity existing in the country, the
-voice of history, strong as it is, could scarcely be
-credited, that it was once the <i>first</i> of nations, and
-the seat of the arts and sciences. It is a land of
-pestilence and disease. "In Cairo, last year, forty
-thousand were supposed to be infected with the
-plague: and many of the French garrison died
-in that city, although the disease was treated in
-their hospitals with the greatest ability. In
-Upper Egypt sixty thousand perished during the
-same season,"<a id='r21' /><a href='#f21' class='c006'><sup>[21]</sup></a> besides those who died of it in
-other parts of the country. Among the British, the
-plague was confined to the "hospital and troops
-stationary at Aboukir, where it broke out on the
-<abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr> April, and terminated on the <abbr title='twenty-sixth'>26th</abbr> August.
-Three hundred and eighty, in the course of that
-time, were affected with it; one hundred and
-seventy-three died, and two hundred and seven
-recovered. The deaths chiefly fell on the orderlies,
-nurses, and other servants of the hospitals."<a id='r22' /><a href='#f22' class='c006'><sup>[22]</sup></a>
-"The plague raged again at Rosetta towards the
-fall of the year and numbers of the Sepoys died
-of it."<a id='r23' /><a href='#f23' class='c006'><sup>[23]</sup></a> When a person is infected with the
-pestilence, after the manner of Egypt, (Amos <abbr title='4'>iv.</abbr>
-10,) the disease is indicated by two boils which
-are commonly in the groin. In addition to the
-plague, "Leprosy of the worst species, and Elephantiasis,
-which swells the legs larger than a
-common bolster," and a number of other diseases
-are very general. "The number of blind is
-prodigious, nearly every fifth inhabitant has lost
-one eye, and many both. All the children have
-sore eyes, and Europeans do not escape better.
-The French at first had more than two thirds of
-their army affected with this malady; and the
-English, during their short stay, had one hundred
-and sixty totally blind, and two hundred that
-lost one eye irrecoverably."<a id='r24' /><a href='#f24' class='c006'><sup>[24]</sup></a> How many more
-were affected with this dreadful malady among
-the troops that remained in the country until the
-following year, when it was wholly evacuated, I
-can not tell; but have reason to believe the number
-was considerable. Children must suffer much
-during their infancy from the flies, because they
-are unable to drive them from their eyes. I saw
-a woman going to the Nile for water, which she
-carried in a pitcher upon her head: a naked child
-sat across her shoulders; its little hands were employed
-in holding by the head of its mother, to
-prevent itself from falling; its eye-lashes were
-literally black with flies that were sucking at its
-eyes, as they would do at sugar. They work
-themselves into the inner coating of the eyelids of
-infants, which no doubt causes some of them to
-lose their sight in their tender years. In addition
-to flies, gnats and mosquitoes, all other kinds of
-vermin are incredibly numerous and troublesome;
-so much so, that, although there were nothing else
-but them, they would make Egypt an uncomfortable
-country to live in. Although the French used
-all the freedom of conquerors, they were perfectly
-sick of it. When we landed, they supposed, that,
-after we had expelled them, we intended to retain
-possession of it; and they sincerely pitied the lot
-of their supposed successors. They fought, indeed,
-bravely; but it was not out of love to the country,
-but in subordination to military discipline, and for
-the honour of their arms; but when compelled to
-surrender on condition of being sent home to
-France, they rejoiced in the event as a happy deliverance.
-And indeed it was no wonder; for, in
-addition to the disagreeable nature of the climate,
-many of the military posts where they did duty,
-being in lonely sandy deserts, were so ill accommodated,
-and in all respects so uncomfortable, that
-to do service at them was fitter for being a punishment
-to men banished for their crimes, than for
-those who deserved well of their country.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Dr. Clarke sailed up the Nile on the 10th of
-August, 1801, when the river was beginning to
-overflow the country. The following extract corroborates
-all that I had heard related by my comrades,
-after they had returned from Cairo, and is
-so interesting, that it will gratify such readers as
-have not access to his work. After passing Rachmanie,
-he says, "Villages in an almost uninterrupted
-succession, denoted a much greater population
-than we had imagined this country to
-contain. Upon each side of the river, as far as
-the eye could reach, we saw fields of corn and
-rice, with such beautiful groves, seeming to rise
-out of the watery plains, and to shade innumerable
-settlements in the <i>Delta</i>, amidst never-ending
-plantations of melons, and all kinds of
-garden vegetables, that, from the abundance of
-its harvests, Egypt might be deemed the richest
-country in the world. Such is the picture exhibited
-to the native inhabitants, who are seasoned
-to withstand the disorders of the country,
-and can bear with indifference the attacks of
-myriads of all sorts of noxious animals; to whom
-mud and mosquitoes, or dust and vermin, are
-alike indifferent; who, having never experienced
-one comfortable feeling in the midst of their
-highest enjoyments, nor a single antidote to sorrow
-in the depths of their wretchedness, vegetate,
-like the <i>bananas</i> and <i>sycamores</i> around
-them. But strangers, and especially the inhabitants
-of <i>Northern</i> countries, where wholesome
-air and cleanliness are among the necessaries
-of life, must consider Egypt as the most
-detestable region upon earth. Upon the retiring
-of the Nile, the country is one vast swamp.
-The atmosphere is impregnated with every
-putrid and offensive exhalation, then stagnates,
-like the filthy pools over which it broods. Then,
-too, the plague regularly begins; nor ceases, until
-the waters return again.<a id='r25' /><a href='#f25' class='c006'><sup>[25]</sup></a> Throughout the
-spring, intermitting fevers universally prevail.
-About the beginning of May, certain winds cover
-even the sands of the desert with the most disgusting
-vermin.<a id='r26' /><a href='#f26' class='c006'><sup>[26]</sup></a> The latest descendants of
-Pharaoh are not yet delivered from the evils
-which fell upon the land, when it was smitten
-by the hands of Moses and Aaron; the 'plague
-of frogs,' the 'plague of lice,' the 'plague of
-flies,' the 'murrain, boils, and blains,' prevail
-so, that the whole country is 'corrupted,' and
-'<i>the dust of the earth becomes lice, upon man and
-upon beast, throughout the land of Egypt</i>.' This
-application of the words of sacred Scripture
-affords a literal statement of existing evils, such
-an one as the statistics of the country do now
-warrant. In its justification, an appeal may be
-made to the testimony of all those who have resided
-in the country during the very opposite
-seasons of its prosperity and privation; during
-the inundation, and when the flood has retired,
-or before it takes place, in the beginning of the
-year. At the period of the overflow, persons
-who drink the water become subject to a disorder
-called '<i>prickly heat</i>:' this often terminates
-in those dreadful wounds alluded to in the sacred
-writings, by the words '<i>boils and blains</i>.' During
-the months of <i>June</i>, <i>July</i>, and <i>August</i>, many individuals
-are deprived of sight, owing to a disorder
-of the eyes peculiar to this country. <i>Europeans</i>,
-having no other name for it, have called
-it <i>ophthalmia</i>, from the organs it affects. There
-was hardly an individual who did not suffer,
-more or less, the consequences of this painful
-malady. At this season, also, the dysentery begins
-to number its victims; and although some
-be fortunate enough to escape the worst effects
-of this disorder, it proves fatal in many instances."<a id='r27' /><a href='#f27' class='c006'><sup>[27]</sup></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Dr. Clarke's account of what he experienced at
-Cairo, in the middle of August, is also interesting:
-"The mercury in Fahrenheit's thermometer seemed
-at this time fixed. It remained at 90 degrees for
-several days, without the smallest perceptible
-change. Almost every European suffered from
-inflammation of the eyes. Many were troubled
-with cutaneous disorders. The prickly heat
-was very common. This was attributed to
-drinking the muddy water of the Nile, the inhabitants
-having no other. Their mode of
-purifying it, in a certain degree, is by rubbing
-the inside of the water vessel with bruised
-almonds: this precipitates a portion of the mud,
-but it is never quite clear. Many persons were
-afflicted with sores upon the skin, which were
-called '<i>biles of the Nile</i>;' and dysenterical complaints
-were universal. A singular species of
-<i>lizard</i> made its appearance in every chamber,
-having circular membranes at the extremity of
-its feet, which gave it such tenacity, that it
-walked upon window-panes of glass, or upon
-the surfaces of pendent mirrors.<a id='r28' /><a href='#f28' class='c006'><sup>[28]</sup></a> This revolting
-sight was common to every apartment, whether
-in the houses of the rich or of the poor. At the
-same time, such a plague of flies covered all
-things with their swarms, that it was impossible
-to eat without hiring persons to stand by every
-table with feathers, or flappers, to drive them
-away. Liquor could not be poured into a glass;
-the mode of drinking was by keeping the mouth
-of every bottle covered until the moment it was
-applied to the lips: and instantly covering it
-with the palm of the hand, when removing it to
-offer to any one else. The utmost attention to
-cleanliness, by a frequent change of every article
-of wearing apparel, could not repel the attacks
-of vermin which seemed to infest even
-the air of the place. A gentleman made his
-appearance before a party he had invited to
-dinner, with lice swarming upon his clothes.
-The only explanation he could give as to the
-cause, was, that he had sat for a short time in
-one of the boats upon the canal. Perhaps objection
-may be made to a statement even of
-facts, which refers to no pleasing theme; but
-the author does not conceive it possible to give
-<i>Englishmen</i> a correct notion of the trials to
-which they will be exposed in visiting this country,
-without calling some things by their proper
-names."<a id='r29' /><a href='#f29' class='c006'><sup>[29]</sup></a></p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Before losing sight of the contest that was in
-Egypt, it may not be amiss to glance at the unavoidable
-evils of <i>war</i>. With the inhabitants we
-had no quarrel: our sole object was to expel the
-French. But this could not be done, without the
-peaceful inhabitants receiving, in many cases,
-serious injury. The roads from town to town did
-not suit the march of the army to and from Cairo;
-the troops generally took the direct road through
-the corn-fields, and their encampments were sometimes
-in fields of corn, tobacco, poppies, sego,
-melons, indigo, &amp;c. the produce of which, however
-valuable, was destroyed. Fuel was scarce;
-and the soldiers were necessitated to use whatever
-would burn. Stalks of tobacco, bean straw,
-and such like substances, were used to boil the
-kettles;<a id='r30' /><a href='#f30' class='c006'><sup>[30]</sup></a> and in places where dry straw was difficult
-to be had, it was necessary to place guards at
-the entrances to the neighbouring villages or towns,
-to prevent the soldiers from unroofing the houses
-for wood to make fuel: and with all the attention
-of the officers, such was the necessity of the case,
-that injury could not always be prevented.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>The discipline of the army was strict, and the
-general behaviour of the troops good; but many
-instances of petty depredations and pilfering took
-place, that were not known, and could not be prevented.
-Many instances occurred of inhabitants,
-particularly Arabs, who sold bread, fruit, eggs, &amp;c.
-having their articles taken from them by "fellows
-of the baser sort," without any payment, and
-sometimes with abuse into the bargain. The
-Arabs when so used would throw dust upon their
-heads, and call upon God, and the Prophet, and
-the Sultan. But as this usage was not general,
-and as the army spent a considerable sum of good
-money among them,<a id='r31' /><a href='#f31' class='c006'><sup>[31]</sup></a> they were not deterred from
-following it with whatever they had to sell, and I
-believe many of them made more money at that
-time, than ever they had an opportunity of doing
-before or since. On the afternoon of the 2d October,
-we again left Rosetta, and lay for the night
-near the mouth of the river. The wind was
-moderate next morning; we passed the bar safely:
-had a pleasant voyage across the bay of Aboukir,
-and through Like Maadie; passed through the cut
-in the banks of the canal of Alexandria into Lake
-Mareotis,<a id='r32' /><a href='#f32' class='c006'><sup>[32]</sup></a> and landed not far from the place
-where the battle of the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr> of March was fought,
-of which I had thus another view, and which I
-never can forget. I joined the regiment on the
-heights of Alexandria; we embarked next day at
-Aboukir, on board of two frigates; sailed on the
-morning of the <abbr title='seventh'>7th</abbr> October; and lost sight of the
-celebrated land of Egypt by 12 o'clock. None
-regretted this. We indeed regretted our countrymen
-and comrades, who had found a grave there;
-but the country itself had no charms to make us
-regret leaving it. All our thoughts were now fixed
-upon home; and we rejoiced to think, that every
-day was bringing us nearer it.</p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f16'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r16'>16</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>During the time of the inundation, the water in the
-river is very thick but as much pure water as served us
-for drinking, was procured from some private wells in the
-town, which I suppose had a communication with the river,
-which had the effect of filtering the water.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f17'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r17'>17</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Matthew <abbr title='26'>xxvi.</abbr> 23.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f18'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r18'>18</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>I saw the buffaloes at this employment, when I sailed
-up the river, on the <abbr title='twenty-fourth'>24th</abbr> June, when coming to Rosetta.
-The buffalo is much larger than the ox; his bones are uncommonly
-large, even in comparison to the size of his body,
-which is very lean; his strength must be much greater than
-that of the ox. When he walks, he carries his head like
-the camel, his nose being nearly as high as his horns, and
-is on the whole a very dull looking animal; but, notwithstanding,
-he is capable of being trained to this work, as
-well, if not better, than the ox, for I saw them keeping a
-slow but steady pace at their work, without the immediate
-presence of a driver. The water is raised by a wheel,
-upon which buckets or earthen pitchers are fastened.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Since the publication of the first edition, I have seen the
-<abbr title='fifth'>5th</abbr> <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> of Dr. Clarke's Travels in Egypt; and as his knowledge
-is more extensive than mine, I take the liberty of
-inserting an extract, upon the produce and manner of cultivating
-the Delta. Speaking of the method of watering
-the ground, he says, "The land thus watered, produces
-three crops in each year; the first of clover, the second of
-corn, and the third of rice. The rice grounds are inundated,
-from the time of sowing nearly to harvest. The
-seed is commonly cast upon the water, a practice twice
-alluded to in sacred Scripture. <i>Balaam</i> prophesied of
-<i>Israel</i>, <abbr title='numbers'>Numb.</abbr> <abbr title='24'>xxiv.</abbr> 7, that 'his seed should be in many
-waters.' In the directions given for charity, by the son of
-<i>David</i>, it is written, <abbr title='Ecclesiasticus'>Eccles.</abbr> <abbr title='eleven'>xi.</abbr> 1. 'Cast thy bread (<i>i. e.</i>
-bread corn) upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after
-many days.' When the rice plants are about two feet
-high they are transplanted."&mdash;<abbr title='volume'>Vol.</abbr> <abbr title='five'>v.</abbr> <abbr title='pages'>pp.</abbr> 47, 48.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f19'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r19'>19</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The grain was measured by an Arab into baskets,
-which were carried to the heap by others, upon their
-shoulders. The measurer accompanied his work with a
-song indicative of the quantity he put into each basket.
-The owner stood upon the quay and received a bean or
-pea from the carriers as they passed by him to the heap;
-and this was the method by which he kept an account of
-the quantity landed.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f20'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r20'>20</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>I saw the exterior of some of these houses on the banks
-of the Nile, but never had an opportunity of seeing their
-interior. Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson says, in <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> <abbr title='one'>i.</abbr> <abbr title='pages'>pp.</abbr> 156, 157, "All
-language is insufficient to give a just idea of the misery of
-an Egyptian village; but those who have been in Ireland,
-may best suppose the degree, when an Irish hut is described
-as a palace, in comparison to an Arab's stye; for it
-can be called by no other name. Each habitation is built of
-mud, even the roof, and resembles in shape an oven: within
-is only one apartment, generally of about ten feet square.
-The door does not admit of a man's entering upright; but,
-as the bottom is dug out about two feet, when in the room
-an erect posture is possible. A mat, some large vessels to
-hold water, which is the constant occupation of the women
-to fetch; a pitcher made of fine porous clay, found best in
-Upper Egypt, near Cunei, and in which the water is kept
-very cool; a rice pan and coffee pot, are all the ornaments
-and utensils. Here, then, a whole family eat and sleep
-without any consideration of decency or cleanliness; being,
-in regard to the latter, worse even than the beasts of the
-field, which naturally respect their own tenements."</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f21'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r21'>21</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Sir <abbr class='spell'>R.</abbr> Wilson's History, <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> <abbr title='two'>ii.</abbr> <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr> 116.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f22'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r22'>22</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Ibid. <abbr title='pages'>pp.</abbr> 115, 132.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f23'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r23'>23</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Ibid. <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr> 119.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f24'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r24'>24</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Ibid. <abbr title='page'>p.</abbr> 121.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f25'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r25'>25</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>"General <i>Le Grange</i> assured us, when on board the
-<i>Braakel</i>, that the ravages in the French army, caused by
-the plague, during the month of April, at one time,
-amounted to an hundred men in a single day."</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f26'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r26'>26</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>"Sir Sidney Smith informed the author (Dr. Clarke)
-that one night, preferring a bed upon the sand of the
-desert to a night's lodging in the village of Etko, as
-thinking he should be more secure from vermin, he
-found himself, in the morning, entirely covered by them.
-Lice and <i>scorpions</i> abound in all the sandy desert near
-Alexandria." One of my comrades informed me, that
-when some of the <i>date</i> trees were split at <i>Aboukir</i>, for
-making the hospital, there were so many lice in the hearts
-of them that they might have been gathered in handfuls.
-The frogs also were so abundant at some of the places
-where the army halted between Rosetta and Cairo, that it
-was not possible to get at the water in the river without
-treading upon them; and at one place the camp ground
-was literally covered with black beetles, to the no small
-annoyance of the soldiers in the tents, and the bed frames
-and mats that we got new in the hospital in Rosetta in
-the end of June, were so full of bugs by the end of September,
-that they were fit only to be burnt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f27'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r27'>27</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Clarke's Travels, <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> <abbr title='five'>v.</abbr> <abbr title='pages'>pp.</abbr> 56, 59.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f28'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r28'>28</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>"A similar membrane terminates each foot of a common
-fly: beneath which a vacuum takes place, and the
-animal maintains a footing upon ceilings, owing to the
-pressure of the external air upon this membrane."</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f29'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r29'>29</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Clarke's Travels, <abbr title='volume'>vol.</abbr> <abbr title='five'>v.</abbr> pp. 78, 80.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f30'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r30'>30</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>When their rations happened to be salt pork, they
-used to put a piece of it under the kettle to burn with the
-straw.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f31'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r31'>31</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>With the exception of gold, which was in the hands
-of a few, the coin circulating in Egypt was made of base
-metal, watered over with silver; and was of little or no intrinsic
-value. There were large pieces of this kind, some
-of them larger than a crown, which were of different
-values: but a small coin, called a para, about the breadth
-of a farthing, and no thicker than the scale of a fish, was
-the most common; of which 120, and in some places 160,
-were given for a Spanish dollar. The money expended
-by the army was gold and Spanish dollars.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f32'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r32'>32</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The inundation in this lake extended farther than the
-eye could reach. The banks of the canal formed a road
-for communicating with the interior of the country; a
-bridge of boats united the banks, one of the boats being
-moveable, for the purpose of allowing vessels to pass in
-and out of Lake Mareotis. Before the army wholly left
-the country, the boats forming the bridge were sunk in
-the cut, and served for a foundation upon which the banks
-were rebuilt. When the British took Alexandria, in March,
-1807, a detachment was sent to take Rosetta; but they
-were repulsed by those Turks who had accompanied the
-army on its march to and from Cairo, and who had acquired
-a considerable portion of British discipline. The rays
-of the sun had by this time so far dried up the salt water
-in Lake Mareotis as to render it passable; but the British
-again cut the banks of the canal, and admitted the sea into
-it, to protect Alexandria from being attacked by the
-Turks.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='chap7' class='c003'>CHAPTER <abbr title='seven'>VII.</abbr></h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>After a pleasant passage, having light winds and
-fine weather, we arrived at Malta on the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr> October.
-Here our joy was wonderfully heightened
-by the news of peace. The news had come from
-France, but they were credit worthy. The only
-cause of regret was, that such an important and
-strongly fortified place as Malta, where we now
-lay, was to be given up. We did not leave Malta
-until the <abbr title='twenty-sixth'>26th</abbr> November, at which delay the soldiers
-were vexed; but the naval officers were no
-way anxious to get home, because they knew that
-the ship would be paid off, and they would then
-lose their situations. Our own officers were apprehensive
-that the regiment might be reduced,
-which would put them on half pay; but the men
-rejoiced in the prospect.<a id='r33' /><a href='#f33' class='c006'><sup>[33]</sup></a> We had a tedious passage
-down the Mediterranean, and did not arrive
-at Gibraltar until the <abbr title='twentieth'>20d</abbr> December. We left
-it on the <abbr title='first'>1st</abbr> January, 1802, and arrived at the
-Cove of Cork on the <abbr title='twenty-third'>23d</abbr>, having had rough
-weather all the way, which on two occasions increased
-to a tempest, and did the ship I was in
-considerable damage. We had to ride quarantine
-until the <abbr title='ninth'>9th</abbr> February. My leg had stretched
-considerably during the passage, and I walked
-about the deck with the help of a stick. The
-regiment landed, and marched into Cork on the
-<abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr>, the wounded and baggage being conveyed
-by water. And here I found that, although I could
-safely walk about with a stick on the level deck
-of a ship, my leg was not sufficiently strong to
-travel the necessary distances on land. My wound
-here broke out again; and when the regiment left
-Cork for Kilkenny, although I rode upon the baggage,
-yet the travelling from the places where the
-baggage halted to my billet, which was sometimes
-more than a mile, was injurious to me. We came
-to Kilkenny on the <abbr title='twenty-first'>21st</abbr>, and lay in it about six
-weeks. The regiment was inspected by the
-General and Surgeon of the district, and a great
-number ordered to be discharged, of which I was
-one.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>My conduct in Kilkenny was not what it ought
-to have been; not that I fell into open gross sin,
-but I did not improve my mercies as I ought, and
-was guilty of what I disallowed in my own conscience,
-and felt my weakness and inability to
-overcome the inward workings of corruption. I
-here bought Young's Night Thoughts, that by
-reading it, I might fortify my mind against temptation.
-I placed great confidence in the power of
-the poet's language; but it had not the effect I
-wished and expected. I was one evening at the
-Methodist chapel; but I did not pay that attention
-to the Sabbath which I might have done. The
-regiment left Kilkenny, and marched for Belfast;
-and when we came to Dublin, the discharged men
-that were recommended to the benefit of Chelsea
-Hospital, embarked for Liverpool, from which we
-proceeded to London; where I was examined and
-admitted an out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital, on
-the <abbr title='twenty-seventh'>27th</abbr> May, 1802. I left London on the <abbr title='twenty-ninth'>29th</abbr>,
-and took a passage in one of the Carron Company's
-brigs; landed at Queensferry on the <abbr title='twelfth'>12th</abbr>
-of June, and arrived in Glasgow next day, happy
-to find myself restored to my friends.&mdash;My wound
-was still open; I might have gone into York Hospital
-in London, and been cured, previously to
-being discharged; and had I been wise, I should
-have done this: but I was so anxious to be home,
-that I did not do it, for fear it might delay me
-some time.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>My military life being now terminated, I desire
-to bless God, with a grateful heart, for his goodness
-and care over me while in the army, in a
-particular not before referred to. For during the
-six years that I was a soldier, I was never confuted
-for any fault. My conduct was, in general, good,
-in a military point of view; but there were times
-that I was guilty of faults, for which I might have
-been punished, and which I have reason to thank
-God for escaping. And what is a little singular,
-I was never concerned in any court martial case,
-nor so much as a witness against any man; on the
-whole, I passed comparatively easy and quietly
-through the army, and without doubt, the remaining
-restraints of early and religious instruction was
-one particular mean of preserving me from many
-evils and dangers; and in this respect proved an
-invaluable blessing to me, while I was a soldier.
-I mention this particular to show what good early
-religious instruction may do, although it may not
-have the effect of converting the soul.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I had now attained my wishes, by being safely
-settled at home. God had given me the desire of
-my heart. If I did not now find ability to keep
-the commandments of God, in the way that I proposed
-to myself, and upon which I founded my
-hope of meriting and enjoying his favour, I could
-not expect to find any situation more favourable.
-I called to mind all the promises I had made, and
-reflected on all the deliverances God had graciously
-given me, and the gratitude that was due to him
-for them. Circumstances led me to attend Mr.
-Ewing's ministry at the Tabernacle; but, although
-I attended divine ordinances, and read religious
-books, I was not a whit the better. I had also
-considerable opportunity of being alone; but where
-I thought I would be strongest, there I found I
-was weakest; and, when removed from outward
-temptation, inward corruption increased, and baffled
-my utmost efforts. The more I strove to keep
-my own heart and life from sin, the more sin
-triumphed over me. I found, in my experience,
-that I was a slave to sin; for what I set myself to
-overcome, overcame me. At the same time, the
-spirituality of God's law increasingly opened on
-my mind; I daily saw more of the extent of the
-work I had assigned to myself to perform, in order
-to obtain the favour of God; and found that my
-practice, in place of getting nearer, was getting
-farther from it. When I looked back on the mercies
-I had received, and the promises and resolutions
-I had made, I saw that I had all along been
-mocking God, having never fulfilled any of them.
-This broke my peace of mind; I became more
-subject to the terrors of the law than I had ever
-been; my conscience accused me of the blackest
-ingratitude; I had no refuge to fly to; my sins became
-too heavy for me; the justice of God stared
-me in the face; and now I saw that I was a condemned
-criminal. I gave over all hope of obtaining
-the favour of God by my own doings; I
-resolved to mock him with no more promises of
-amendment of life; I confessed that hell was what
-I deserved; that the law which condemned me
-was just: and, when I did this, the importance of
-being delivered from such a dreadful situation was
-increasingly impressed upon my mind: but how to
-obtain that deliverance I could not tell. I saw by
-the Scriptures, that "unless a man be born again,
-he can not enter into the kingdom of God," and
-that no unholy being shall enter heaven. I prayed
-earnestly for the new heart and the right spirit, but
-did not correctly understand in what this change
-consisted. I passed a considerable time subject to
-sharp conflicts in my mind, during which, the
-stings of conscience and the terrors of the law
-were beyond description: but all was kept within
-my own breast, without being discerned by any
-one. My leg continued bad until the beginning
-of 1803, when I confined myself to bed for some
-weeks, and had the pleasure once more of seeing
-it heal. I felt thankful to God for this new mercy;
-but it added fresh torment to my mind, for it furnished
-my conscience with new matter of accusation.
-In perusing Boston's "Fourfold State," I
-was startled at reading how the branches are
-taken out of the natural stock. I saw my own
-case pretty fully described; but as I did not understand
-what it was to be "apprehended of Christ,"
-and united to the vine, it only increased my uneasiness.
-I also heard a man in conversation in
-my company declare, that, before a sinner can be
-brought to God, the same power behooved to be
-exerted that converted the apostle Paul. I did not
-assent to what he said, because I did not believe
-it; but I marked the saying. I became increasingly
-uneasy; I had no peace in my mind; eternity
-was before me; I was without hope, and knew not
-how to obtain it. "<i>What</i>," said I, "<i>shall become
-of me</i>!" I was agitated almost to despair; all that
-prevented me from falling into it was the consideration
-that I was yet in life, and that God had
-not forbidden me to cry for mercy: and for mercy
-I did cry, if peradventure I might find it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>My leg now threatened to break out again.&mdash;This
-alarmed me more, and it prevented me from
-going, as I had done, to the Tabernacle. The
-forenoon of the second Sabbath after Albion-street
-chapel was opened, I passed solitary at home; but
-I was in a most painful state of mind, of which
-the agitations can not be described. My convictions
-of sin were so sharp as to drive me into a
-state, which, if it was not absolute despair, could
-hardly be distinguished from it. I could not bear
-my own presence, and became afraid to be alone.
-"<i>What shall become of me!</i>" was the unremitting
-thought of my agitated soul. It at length drove
-me to my knees; where, with tears, I confessed my
-sins to God without reserve or palliation; fully
-acknowledged the righteousness and justice of his
-law; disclaimed all merit of my own; confessed
-that I never had any, nor any ability to obtain it;
-that I was totally unable to do any thing to procure
-his favour, or to recompense him for it, should
-he bestow it; and that if I was saved from endless
-wo, it would be, because he would have
-mercy on me, out of his own sovereign pleasure,
-and not on account of any merit of mine. I cast
-myself upon his pure mercy, and confessed that if
-there was not pure mercy for sinners, I could have
-no hope.&mdash;When I arose from my knees, it was
-near the time of the afternoon's service. I felt
-quite uneasy at home. I thought I would venture
-as far as to Albion street chapel, because it was at
-no great distance, and because I had heard my
-father speaking favourably of you as a preacher. I
-was the more disposed too to go there, because I
-knew you were in connexion with Mr. Ewing, of
-whom I had formed a favourable opinion. When I
-got to the chapel, I was all attention. When you
-prayed, I endeavoured to pray also. But nothing
-particularly affected me, until you gave out your
-text, 1 <abbr title='Corinthians'>Cor.</abbr> <abbr title='two'>ii.</abbr> 2. "For I determined not to know
-any thing among you, save Jesus Christ and him
-crucified."&mdash;I was struck with the text, and became
-anxiously attentive, to see if I could catch
-any thing from the discourse which was to follow,
-that could give ease to my troubled mind. You
-had preached from it the preceding sabbath, and
-having recapitulated what you had gone over, you
-proceeded to the remainder of the subject; the
-tenor of which was, <i>the nature of the work that
-Christ had accomplished in the room of sinners, for
-their salvation.</i> As you proceeded, I thought I began
-to discern something I had not seen before.&mdash;But
-when you proved from the Scriptures, that the
-work which Christ had finished on mount Calvary,
-was of itself sufficient to save sinners, and that God
-had accepted his work as satisfactory to him; that,
-therefore, the work of Christ being perfect, nothing
-could be added to it; that it was impious to
-attempt to add any thing to it, and that sinners
-ought to rest satisfied with that which God had
-declared was satisfactory to him, seeing he knew
-best what was necessary to satisfy his justice, and
-to secure his own honour in pardoning sinners; that
-no good works were required of the sinner by God,
-as <i>the ground of his acceptance with him</i>, either in
-whole or in part, but that it was the merit of the
-work of Christ alone, that justified sinners in the
-sight of a holy God, and that all the praise of their
-salvation belonged to Christ, and to the grace of
-God in him; and that sinners should believe this
-doctrine as good news, and put their trust in it for
-the salvation they needed.&mdash;You I think spoke also
-of the effect which the faith of this doctrine had
-on all them that believed it, in leading them to
-love God, and to keep his commandments. I was
-greatly enlightened by the whole discourse; but
-my mind particularly catched the words, that the
-work of Christ was of itself perfect; that nothing
-could be taken from it, or added to it; and that it
-was impious to attempt to add any thing to it.&mdash;This
-doctrine appeared new to me. I thought I
-had never heard it before. I left the chapel when
-the service was over, repeating to myself the
-words, "<i>The work of Christ is perfect, sufficient of
-itself to save a sinner</i>;" and, as I repeated it, I said,
-"This is good news if it be true." Another
-thought now started into my mind:&mdash;"If it be true
-that nothing can be added to it, and that it is impious
-to attempt it, how guilty have I been!"&mdash;My
-whole train of repentances, promises, resolutions,
-and attempted reformations, has not only been sinful
-in the sight of God, on account of their failures,
-but have been impious acts of rebellion; not on
-account of my endeavouring to forsake sin, and to
-cultivate holiness, but on account of the motive
-that produced them, which was a desire to work
-out a righteousness of my own, to the rejecting of
-the righteousness of Christ; placing my works on
-a level with his, nay, above his; seeking to merit
-God's favour by my own doings; and when doubting
-of their complete sufficiency, having recourse
-to the merits of Christ, merely to make up the deficiency
-of mine; and even this, not from voluntary
-choice, but from a feeling of necessity. This
-was a new source of guilt to my conscience, which
-had never burdened it before. I began to apprehend
-I had been guilty of the sin of unbelief,
-so often spoken of in the Scriptures, and so strongly
-condemned. But while my conscience accused
-me of this, a gleam of hope dawned on my soul,
-by ruminating on the sufficiency of the work of
-Christ; and the more I pondered on the subject,
-my hope increased, and the more my hope increased,
-the stronger my sense of the sin of unbelief
-grew. These two things kept pace with one another:
-and while hope cheered my heart, this new
-sense of guilt made me humble. I did not think
-less of the guilt of my other sins; but this sin seemed
-to outweigh them all, so that I became increasingly
-vile in my own sight.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I read the Scriptures, with prayer to God for
-light and direction, that I might truly judge the
-doctrine I had been hearing, and not be led astray
-by that which was not his own truth. I compared
-scripture with scripture; and I now found
-the very great benefit of being acquainted with the
-letter of the Bible, and of having much of it on my
-memory. My meditations were greatly assisted
-by what was stored in it; for when employed at
-my work, I often recollected passages, and compared
-them together. All the drift of my thoughts,
-was to find if there was evidence of the sufficiency
-of the work of Christ, for a sinner's salvation; and
-in many of these passages I found such evidence:
-they appeared to me in a new light; and the sense
-was so obvious, that I wondered how I had not
-seen it before. This new discernment gradually
-increased; and, as my wound did not break out, I
-continued to attend Mr. Ewing's ministry, and
-was growing in knowledge by means of his sermons.
-One of them was particularly blessed to
-me. It was an evening sermon from Matth. iii.
-17. "And lo, a voice from heaven, which said,
-This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."
-The moment the text was read, I catched the
-words, "<i>in whom I am well pleased</i>." I saw them,
-as containing a proof of God's satisfaction in the
-work of his Son on the behalf of sinners; I followed
-the preacher through the discourse, and
-was at no loss to comprehend his meaning; the
-doctrine was plain and evident to me. I had still,
-however, some perplexity in my mind, about the
-nature of the good works to be performed after
-believing. But this was removed by a sermon
-from Mr. Greig<a id='r34' /><a href='#f34' class='c006'><sup>[34]</sup></a> from <abbr title='Hebrews'>Heb.</abbr> <abbr title='three'>iii.</abbr> 14. "For we are
-made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning
-of our confidence steadfast unto the end." My
-mind now became decided; I saw that if a sinner
-had Christ, he had all. I was sweetly constrained
-to give myself wholly up to him; to be content
-to be saved by his merits, to the entire and eternal
-exclusion of my own; to place my hope of acceptance
-with God, both now and hereafter, solely
-upon <i>his</i> perfect righteousness, and complete
-atonement; and to commit my polluted soul to the
-gracious influence of his Spirit, that he might so
-apply the blood of Christ, as to "purge it from
-dead works, to serve the living God." I now saw
-that deliverance from sin itself, was a part of the
-salvation of Christ: and I was led to trust in him
-for sanctification, as well as for righteousness and
-redemption. I now understood clearly what had
-puzzled me, when I read the book on Contentment,
-in Athlone. I was no longer at a loss to
-understand what it was to be willing to do all
-things for Christ, and to be willing to <i>deny</i> all
-things for Christ. I saw that Christ is his people's
-strength; that the power which enables them to
-perform duty, to resist temptation, and to overcome
-their spiritual enemies, is wholly derived
-from him; that therefore when they conquer their
-enemies, and bring forth the fruits of righteousness,
-the glory of the conquest belongs to him through
-whose strength they have been performed. I
-therefore esteem it my high privilege as well as
-duty, to "count all things but loss for the excellency
-of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord;"
-for whom I trust I have, in a measure, been
-made willing to "suffer the loss of all things, and
-to count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
-and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness
-which is of the law, but that which is
-through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which
-is of God by faith." <abbr title='Philippians'>Phil.</abbr> <abbr title='three'>iii.</abbr> 9, 10.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>My next concern was, about the question,&mdash;What
-is the proper form of church government?&mdash;I
-had been made a little acquainted with the claims of
-Episcopacy, and they perplexed me a good deal.
-Upon the general question, my stock of information
-was small. This much I knew, that all parties referred
-a good deal to the Acts of the Apostles, for proofs
-of their respective opinions; and, as Mr. Ewing had
-commenced a course of lectures upon that book, I
-hoped to obtain such information, as should enable
-me to come to a determination in my own mind.
-I continued to hear him with a good deal of interest,
-until he had gone through the fifteenth chapter.
-I then embraced his opinions on that subject; and,
-feeling the want of Christian fellowship, I determined
-to make present conviction the rule of present
-duty; and seeing that it was the will of
-Christ that his people should be united together in
-fellowship, I resolved to apply to Mr. Ewing, for
-admission to the church under his care. Being at
-a loss from my ignorance of the mode of application,
-and entire want of acquaintance with any of
-the members of his church, I wrote him a letter.
-This introduced me to a conversation, with which
-he was satisfied, and my case was to be mentioned
-to the church at their next meeting. I had no
-sooner returned home, however, than the words of
-Jesus, John <abbr title='four'>iv.</abbr> 36. "And he that reapeth receiveth
-wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal;
-that both he that soweth and he that reapeth
-may rejoice together," occurred to my mind.&mdash;This
-led me to remember you, my dear Sir, through
-whom I had received the knowledge of the truth,
-and to consider whether there was not a propriety,
-if not a duty, rather to apply to the church under
-your care, for admission, than to Mr. Ewing's. I
-determined to consider this point, and wrote to
-Mr. Ewing, requesting him to delay mentioning my
-case to his church, as something had occurred to
-my mind, which it appeared to be my duty previously
-to consider, but as soon as I should come to
-a determination I should let him know. I then
-attended your preaching, to see whether it would
-be as beneficial to me as Mr. Ewing's. You were
-then lecturing in the forenoons through the 1st
-Epistle of John. As I was but a babe in Christ,
-doctrinal subjects were what I stood most in need
-of. I found myself edified by your discourses, and
-I felt an increasing attachment to you as my spiritual
-father; and, as we were of one mind on matters
-of church order, it appeared clearly to be my
-duty to seek for admission into your church. Every
-tie of spiritual affection seemed to require it. You
-had, through the blessing of the great Head of the
-church, sowed to me the words of eternal life: I,
-through his blessing, had reaped them; and, as
-there was no obstacle betwixt us, love said it was
-most proper, that he that sowed and he that reaped
-should rejoice together; for where should a
-convert to the truth seek to be, but under the care
-of the instrument that converted him? There must
-be a peculiarity of affection, betwixt a spiritual
-father and his children, beyond that of others
-placed under his care and instruction. This peculiar
-affection had now begun to operate in my
-mind; for at first I had been so much taken up
-with the discovery of the truth itself, that I had
-paid little attention to the instruments who preached
-it; but I now found leisure to give them a place,
-in their various degrees, in my affections, without
-losing any regard for the truth, or for its great
-Author and object, Jesus Christ, the Chief Shepherd
-of the sheep. In order therefore to strengthen
-your hands in the work of an under shepherd, as
-well as for my own benefit, I drew up a summary
-narrative of my life and experience, and of the way
-in which it had pleased the Lord to lead me to a
-knowledge of his precious truth, and sent it to Mr.
-Ewing, with the reasons why I thought it my duty
-to apply for admission to your church. These
-reasons Mr. Ewing approved of; he gave you
-that narrative to introduce me to you; and I was
-soon favoured with being admitted under your
-pastoral care. The narrative is now greatly enlarged;
-but before bringing it to a close I wish to
-make a few general remarks.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I would begin with stating, that the belief of
-that doctrine which gave peace to my troubled conscience,
-gave also a degree of stability to my
-conduct, such as I had never before been able,
-with my utmost efforts, to attain. Not but that I
-have still to lament, that sin dwells in me; but,
-by the grace of God, it does not reign over me, as
-formerly; and the less I think of myself, and the
-lower I estimate my own strength, and the more
-I trust to the gracious promise of imparted strength,
-from the compassionate and all powerful Redeemer,
-the stronger I am. Whilst I rejoice in the possession
-of the new man, I have still to mourn the
-existence of the old; I find in my experience increasing
-evidence of the deceitfulness and desperate
-wickedness of the heart, and see increasing reason
-to be vile in my own eyes, and to pray continually
-"God be merciful to me a sinner," but I trust in
-his grace, that he will "fulfil in me all the good
-pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith
-with power," and "preserve me by his power,
-through faith unto salvation," enabling me to
-maintain the war of the spirit against the flesh,
-until I get a complete and eternal victory.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>And here I must express my gratitude to God,
-for the benefit of Christian fellowship, and of pastoral
-care and instructions. It is now about sixteen
-years since I first heard you preach, and
-became a member of the church under your ministry.
-We have had our trials, to exercise our
-forbearance and patience; but we have also had
-our comforts. I still love the brethren, and while
-I say, "Grace be to all them who love our Lord
-Jesus Christ in sincerity," I wish for no other fellowship;
-and while I love all who preach Christ
-crucified, as the only ground of a sinner's acceptance
-with a holy God, yet I desire no other teacher
-than he who first turned my wandering feet into
-the way that leadeth to life. Your instructions
-and warnings have, I trust, enabled me to keep in
-that way with my face Zionward. May the Lord
-grant, that we may continue to walk together, and
-be, in our respective stations, comforts to each
-other on the road, until we arrive at the heavenly
-Jerusalem;&mdash;and there may I be one of those,
-who shall be to you, "a crown of joy and rejoicing
-in the presence of the Lord!" There may we
-rejoice together, in the rich mercy of the great
-Redeemer, and give him all the praise, for converting
-and preserving grace, both in the convert and
-in him who was the instrument of his conversion;
-and may you have many more in whom to rejoice,
-besides the subject of this narrative! I thank God
-for the success with which he has been pleased to
-bless your labours. There are not a few, who
-now sit under your ministry, who have received
-the knowledge of the truth by means of your
-preaching; and others, I believe, have joined the
-church above. May the Lord grant you increasing
-success in turning sinners to God, and in edifying
-saints; may he bless the labours of all his
-servants and people; and may his own word have
-free course and be glorified, by the overturning of
-the kingdom of sin and of Satan in the world; and
-may the "kingdoms of this world soon become the
-kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ." Amen.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c007'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I remain, Dear Pastor,</div>
- <div class='line'>Your Affectionate Son</div>
- <div class='line'>In the Faith of the Gospel,</div>
- <div class='line'>G. B.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><i>GLASGOW, January, 1819.</i></div>
- <div class='line'>To the Rev. <span class='sc'>Ralph Wardlaw</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='footnote c000' id='f33'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r33'>33</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>The short duration of the peace, however, prevented
-the fulfilment of it.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='footnote' id='f34'>
-<p class='c005'><span class='label'><a href='#r34'>34</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>Then assistant to Mr. Ewing; now minister of the congregation
-in Crown Court, London.</p>
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 id='postscript' class='c003'>POSTSCRIPT.</h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c004'>Having now finished my narrative, may I take
-the liberty of adding a few reflections, with a view
-to direct the minds of those who may read it, to
-the lessons I should wish them to learn from it.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>There are two things which are conspicuous in
-it; the first is, a sinner's <i>weakness</i>; the second is,
-a sinner's <i>blindness</i>.&mdash;It shows how long and how
-often I attempted to cleanse my own heart. I made
-the effort under all the variety of circumstances I
-have mentioned, but all in vain. I acted under
-all the motives I could collect from a sense of the
-glory, goodness, justice, and general mercy of God,
-as displayed in the works of creation and providence;
-and also from what I had learned from the
-Bible of the requirements of the moral law, which
-was often like a fire in my conscience; and from
-a fear of hell and eternal judgment, and a desire
-of heaven and eternal life; and from a sense of
-mercy to myself in being so often protected when
-in imminent danger, delivered out of trouble, and
-brought back from the very jaws of death in answer
-to my prayers for mercy:&mdash;yet all these put
-together were insufficient to keep me from breaking
-the commandments of God, and being guilty
-of what I condemned in my own conscience.&mdash;And
-thus it will be with every sinner, that sets
-himself to perform the same task. I do not refer
-to my experience, as an exclusive proof of this;
-but I refer to it as an instance of the truth of God's
-word, which declares that sinners are "<i>without
-strength.</i>" <abbr title='Romans'>Rom.</abbr> <abbr title='five'>v.</abbr> 6. Let any sinner undertake
-the same task, and I can assure him from the word
-of God, that he will come no better speed. He
-may attempt it again and again; but every new
-attempt will only show his weakness and blindness;
-and, as he proceeds, he will find that he was
-not aware of the ten thousandth part of the extent
-and difficulty of the task. If he persevere in it,
-he will find it necessary, after endeavouring to reform
-his outward conduct, to look <i>within</i>, and there
-he will discover work he was not at first aware of.
-He will find it absolutely indispensable to watch
-over his <i>heart</i> if he means to reform external conduct:
-for it is the heart that first yields to temptation.
-And, let his resolutions be ever so strong,
-and his intentions ever so sincere, he will find that
-the slightest temptations are sufficient to overcome
-him. Nor will he be in danger from outward
-temptations only; for although he were in the retirement
-of a hermit, and totally secluded from the
-world, he would find temptations to sin rising spontaneously
-out of <i>that very heart</i> which had formed
-the resolution not to commit it; he would find
-himself led like a captive to the commission of it,
-and that in the face of the clear light of duty, and
-in spite of the strongest remonstrances of conscience;
-thus giving him the most convincing
-evidence, if he had eyes to see it, that "the
-heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately
-wicked;" (<abbr title='Jeremiah'>Jer.</abbr> <abbr title='17'>xvii.</abbr> 9.) that "he that committeth
-sin is the servant (or slave) of sin;" (John <abbr title='8'>viii.</abbr>
-34,) and that "he that trusteth in his own heart is
-a fool." (<abbr title='Proverbs'>Prov.</abbr> <abbr title='28'>xxviii.</abbr> 26.) So long, however, as
-a sinner has any confidence in his own strength, he
-will not renounce it, in order to depend upon
-strength to be imparted from another. So long as he
-fancies any merit in his own works, he will trust to
-them to procure his Maker's favour. But in this he
-only shows his blindness. O that I could convince
-any into whose hands this narrative may fall, to renounce,
-as entirely hopeless, all such efforts; and also
-as entirely worthless, all such attempted reformations;
-and to flee to the all-mighty and all-meritorious
-Redeemer! You need his perfect righteousness
-to justify you, and his blood to atone for your sins;
-you need the gracious influences of his Spirit to
-purify your hearts, and to give you strength to
-walk in the ways of God; for the motive to obedience
-that alone can enable you to walk with
-steadfastness and consistency, arises out of the belief
-of the love of Christ, in giving himself a ransom
-for the guilty. The belief of this will inspire
-you with love to him in return; and this, and this
-alone, will set your souls at liberty from the slavery
-of sin. It is to those who believe the love that
-he manifested in freely giving himself a sacrifice
-for them, that he imparts strength to resist temptation;
-and he warns all his disciples, that "without
-him they can do nothing." He has promised his
-grace as sufficient for them that trust in him in the
-most trying situations, and to perfect his strength
-in their weakness:&mdash;nor is this an empty promise;
-for he, to whom it was more immediately addressed,
-declared, that "he could do all things through
-Christ who strengthened him;" and the way in
-which he obtained the power was, by being conscious
-of his own weakness, and trusting entirely
-to the promised strength of the Saviour; "for,"
-says he, "<i>when I am weak then am I strong.</i>" 2
-<abbr title='Corinthians'>Cor.</abbr> <abbr title='twelve'>xii.</abbr> 7-10, with <abbr title='Philipians'>Phil.</abbr> <abbr title='four'>iv.</abbr> 13&mdash;Go you and
-do as he did; and you will find that Christ will
-be the same to you that he was to him, for the
-Saviour is unchangeable; "the same yesterday,
-and to day, and for ever." <abbr title='Hebrews'>Heb.</abbr> <abbr title='thirteen'>xiii.</abbr> 8.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I have been minute in detailing the exercises of
-my mind, much more so than some may think
-there is need for. I have been induced to this in
-order to show how long and how strenuously a
-sinner may go on in that course, although his efforts
-are constantly failing; and fail they must, so long
-as his hopes terminate on himself, and so long as
-he refuses to put his entire confidence in the Saviour.
-He may give over the task in despair, and
-sink into carelessness and indifference; but if,
-whilst he finds his hopes of himself fruitless, he is
-still convinced of the importance and necessity of
-the salvation of his soul, and feels that he is one
-ready to perish; then the news of a Saviour will
-be glad tidings to him indeed; and with the death
-of his legal hopes a life of evangelical obedience
-will commence. I have been induced to be minute,
-from a desire to show to others the folly of continuing
-to labour in the fire, as I did, for very
-vanity; and that they may see the necessity of
-fleeing directly to the Saviour. If you are saved
-at all you <i>must</i> do this at the last; and why not
-to-day as well as to-morrow, or any future period?
-Jesus says, "To-day if ye will hear my voice,
-harden not your hearts:" he says, "Come unto
-me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I
-will give you rest." And why will ye not hear
-his voice, and accept of his invitation to-day? If
-you reject him to-day, you may not live till to-morrow.
-All the offers of the gospel are <i>present</i>
-offers; there is no promise respecting to-morrow.
-Jesus is as able to-day as to-morrow. He offers
-himself to-day. His salvation is a present salvation.
-"Behold, now is the accepted time; behold,
-now is the day of salvation."</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>If any read this narrative who are putting off the
-concerns of their immortal souls to a death-bed,
-and are deluding themselves with the notion, that
-the distress of a sick-bed and the fear of death
-will break the power of sin in their hearts, and that
-they will then repent and believe; while you think
-this, you show that you do not know what repentance
-and faith are; for, did you know what they
-are, you would already have repented and believed.
-You can not know them until you are in actual
-possession of them. Your conduct is, therefore,
-ignorant and presumptuous. Faith and repentance
-are present duties; and if you will not repent of
-your sins <i>now</i>, and believe in the Lord Jesus
-Christ for salvation, what security have you that you
-will do so hereafter? you may be brought to a sick-bed;
-and there the approach of death, and the fear
-of hell, and remorse of conscience, arising out of
-convictions of sin, may greatly alarm you; but this
-will not change your heart, nor save your soul.
-Such a state of mind is neither repentance nor
-conversion. How often was I in danger, and
-imagined I repented; and, when I was at the point
-of death, I thought I had repented in truth. But
-my conduct after I had recovered showed that I
-had deceived myself; and had I died in the state
-I then was in, I must have perished. When you
-are laid on a sick-bed, you may find that you have
-no hope of heaven if you die at present; you may
-wish to recover, that you may change your conduct;
-you may cry to God to spare you; but he
-may not hear you; and when you see that death is
-actually approaching, you may be driven to despair,
-and die without hope: or, in order to calm
-a troubled conscience, you may persuade yourselves,
-that you have repented, and that, as you
-are not allowed to live, God will accept of the
-sincerity of your repentance; and you may thus
-"go down to the grave with a lie in your right
-hand." But if you despise the offer of a Saviour
-now, and put off these things to a death-bed,
-which many never see, but are called suddenly
-out of the world, the probability is, that when you
-are actually laid upon it, however old you may be,
-and however evident the approach of your latter
-end may be to all who see you, you will not think
-you are going to die <i>yet</i>, but will still indulge the
-hope of longer life;&mdash;until death lays his cold
-hand on your heart, and closes your eyes for ever
-on a present world.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Should this narrative fall into the hands of any
-who are in the army, I would earnestly entreat
-them to lay the contents of it seriously to heart,
-and to beware of the delusive idea that it is not
-needful to be religious in the army. Although you
-are soldiers, you are still surely under the government
-of your Creator. Your being in the army
-will not excuse the sins you commit in it. There
-is no article of war that commands you to swear,
-or to get drunk, or to be guilty of uncleanness, or
-any other sin. There is no order that prohibits
-you from repenting of your sins, and believing on
-the Lord Jesus Christ for the salvation of your invaluable
-souls, and living a life of faith upon the
-Son of God; so that you are without excuse. Your
-being in the army does not give you a greater
-security of long life to be an excuse for delay. On
-the contrary, <i>you</i>, above all men, ought to secure
-the salvation of your immortal souls. And blessed
-be God, that salvation is offered as freely to you
-as to others. Jesus, the King of kings, offers you
-his free and unmerited favour, in the same way
-that he does to others; and makes you as welcome.
-Your souls are as precious to him, as those of any
-of the human race: so that you are without excuse.
-Beware of another delusion;&mdash;that the army is a
-place in which it is impossible to live a godly life.
-This is not true. However hard it is, yet it <i>is</i>
-possible, and has been done. If indeed you attempt
-to live a godly life in your own strength, as
-I did, you will fail; but remember, so would you
-in any situation in which you could be placed.
-But if you believe in the Lord Jesus, and take
-him for "righteousness and <i>strength</i>," he will fulfil
-to you his promise, that "as your day is, so shall
-your strength be." Remember that the way that
-leadeth to eternal life is a narrow way to all; and
-that the same grace which enables others to travel
-that narrow way is sufficient to enable you to
-travel it also; and that the same power which
-brings others safely through, is able to carry you
-also in safety to the end of the journey. Remember
-that it is the power of God and not of man
-that enables <i>any</i> to persevere unto the end; and
-will you say that it is not in the power of the
-Almighty to enable a soldier to serve him in the
-army, and to lead a Christian life in it? The idea
-is blasphemous; it is a delusion of Satan; and it
-is an unjust charge upon the army, bad as it is,
-and one of the greatest obstacles, if not the very
-greatest, to its moral improvement; for it goes to
-prevent the very attempt at improvement, as utterly
-hopeless, and consequently to leave the individuals
-who compose it to be confirmed in all their evil
-habits. If any soldier read this, let me beseech
-him to lay seriously to heart the immense value of
-his soul, and to believe in the grace and power of
-a Redeemer, and, although there should not be
-one godly person in his regiment, let him not be
-afraid to believe in Jesus, and to regulate his conduct
-by his word. Do not be afraid of the mocking
-of your comrades: it is indeed not easy to
-bear; but if you really trust in Christ, he will
-enable you to live down their reproaches by a
-consistent and steady course of life. <i>Their</i> reproaches
-are not to be put in comparison with <i>his</i>
-smiles; and if the King of kings smiles upon you,
-what need you care who frowns? It will become
-you rather to pity, than to be offended at them.
-Seek, by constant prayer, for that prudence and
-wisdom which will enable you so to act as to put
-to silence their foolish scoffings; and, if you persevere,
-you will extort from them so much commendation
-as will repay you for all the reproaches
-you have borne, or may still be subject to. But
-let your faith be constant and your practice persevering.
-Do not take up religion by fits and
-starts. Those who do so show that they have not
-yet understood what it is. Unless your repentance
-be that of the Bible, and your faith in Jesus
-genuine, arising from a scriptural understanding
-of your own character as a guilty and helpless
-sinner in the sight of God, and a scriptural discernment
-of the rich grace and almighty power of
-Christ, you will not be able to stand: for the army
-is not a place for hypocrites, formalists, and self-righteous
-professors, to prosper in. The professions
-of such will generally vanish like smoke.
-The genuine believer in Jesus alone is able to
-abide the trial; and he stands, because he is
-upheld by the power of God through faith unto
-salvation. Therefore, let no soldier neglect his
-salvation, through fear that the temptations of the
-army will be too much for him. Great as they
-are, if he trusts in Christ, he shall be made "more
-than a conqueror through him that loved him;"
-and the more he can get his comrades to attend
-to the same things, the temptations will diminish.
-And the more the religion of Jesus prevails in the
-army, and the greater the number of genuine disciples
-are in it, the greater improvement will be
-made in its character, efficiency, and comfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>I rejoice that the army is beginning to be more
-attended to of late, in a religious point of view. I
-rejoice to see Bible Societies in operation for the
-benefit of the army and navy; and wish them an
-increasing measure of success. The attention of
-the religious world has not yet been sufficiently
-drawn to the importance of the object. I hope
-that the stimulus that has been put in motion will
-continue to increase, and that a succession of prudent
-measures will be adopted for the promotion
-of the fear of God in the army and navy. The
-same means that are effectual for the attainment
-of this great object amongst the other classes of
-mankind will be effectual here. And what a
-blessing would it be to the army and navy, were
-the fear of God their prevailing character! How
-would it promote subordination, peace, sobriety,
-and chastity, and, in so doing, prevent the frequency
-and necessity of punishments and rigorous
-regulations, and the prevalence of those diseases
-which break the constitutions of such numbers,
-renders them non-effectives, and sends so many of
-them to an early grave!&mdash;And how much benefit
-would instantly accrue to society, in the reduction
-of the contamination of profanity, intemperance,
-and lewdness! How many female characters
-would be preserved, and the consequent grief of
-parents prevented! How much of the evil of prostitution
-would it reduce, which is so dangerous to
-youth in sea-port towns, and large cities! If my
-feeble voice could be heard, I would add it to that
-of those who have already appeared as advocates of
-this cause, in supplicating British Christians to
-prosecute this object with prudent but vigorous
-perseverance. I rejoice to see a floating chapel
-provided upon the Thames for the instruction of
-seamen. This, I hope, will be followed by similar
-measures wherever they are necessary. The wisdom
-that devised this, is competent to devise all
-that is wanting for the prosecution of this great
-cause, throughout the army and navy. And the
-same motives are sufficient to carry those embarked
-in it forward with zeal until the fear of God
-finally triumph. And its triumph in the army and
-navy will remove one of the obstacles to its prevalence
-in the world. And who knows but that
-genuine piety may not only prevail but even shine
-most conspicuously in the army and navy, and that
-the <i>last</i> may become <i>first</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>G. B.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>THE END.</p>
-<div class='tnotes'>
-
-<p class='c009'>Transcriber's Notes:</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Archaic and colloquial spelling and punctuation was retained.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Missing or obscured punctuation was corrected.</p>
-
-<p class='c005'>Footnotes have been collected at the end of the text, and are linked for ease of reference.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NARRATIVE OF A PRIVATE SOLDIER IN HIS MAJESTY'S 92D REGIMENT OF FOOT ***</div>
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