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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bb8fe7b --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #66825 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66825) diff --git a/old/66825-0.txt b/old/66825-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 11e2ab2..0000000 --- a/old/66825-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3212 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Forever We Die!, by C. H. Thames - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Forever We Die! - -Author: C. H. Thames - -Release Date: November 26, 2021 [eBook #66825] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOREVER WE DIE! *** - - - - - Rhodes faced the agonies of alien torture - because he knew the secret which held an entire - world in bondage. It was a secret proclaiming-- - - Forever We Die! - - By C. H. Thames - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - August 1956 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -The guard spat in Phil Rhodes' food bowl, closed the grate, and trudged -away down the stone-walled corridor. - -Darkness returned to the narrow, coffin-shaped cell. Rhodes reached -for the bowl of gruel. It was tepid, not hot. The cell was very cold. -In the square of light admitted briefly when the grate had been -opened, Rhodes had seen the big, unkempt guard's breath, a puff of -smoke on the cold air. He had also seen the guard hack spittle into the -bowl of gruel. - -It was no whim on the guard's part. Rhodes grinned wryly, and realized -he was doing so, and encouraged his facial muscles in the act. Nothing -around here was a whim. Absolutely nothing. It was all part of a plan, -and the purpose of the plan was to break Rhodes. - -Given: one Earthman. - -Problem: to degrade him by subtle psychological torture. - -Purpose: a big, fat question mark which, by itself, was almost enough -to drive Rhodes crazy. - -He ate the gruel. He held his breath and got it down somehow, got it -down because he had to. - -It had been some time since the last question period, and Rhodes -expected to be summoned momentarily. Why me? he thought for the -hundredth time. That was part of it, too. Why Rhodes? He was only a -student at the Earth University at Deneb III, here on Kedak now--that -was Deneb IV--to do field work in extra-terrestrial anthropology. And -the Kedaki had come for him one night, how long ago? Rhodes had no -idea how long it was, and that was part of the plan too. His sleep was -irregular, usually disturbed by one or another of the guards as part -of the overall pattern of psychological torture. - -Rhodes began to shiver. It was growing suddenly cold. Naturally, that -was no accident. The cell was very small and so shaped that Rhodes -could neither recline fully nor stand up without jack-knifing his -spine. Obviously, he couldn't engage in much physical activity to keep -warm. The Kedaki knew this: it was part of the maddening plan. - -Rhodes shook with cold, felt the skin of his face going numb, heard his -teeth chattering. The abrupt cold now was his entire universe. He made -an effort of will--you're warm, he told himself, you're warm. His lips -took on that peculiar numb puckering sensation which meant, he knew, -that they were blue with cold. He felt a welcome lethargy, then, as -if the terrible cold were a bed of repose, the most comfortable, most -wonderful bed he'd ever had. He wanted to sink back in it, surrender to -it. - -If he did, if he surrendered to the blood-freezing cold, he would die. - -No, he told himself. That was wrong. They wanted him to think he would -die. But it was out of the question. If they'd wanted to kill him, -there were easier ways. What they wanted was a state of mind. They -wanted terror, a simple animal fear of death. - -You're not going to die, Rhodes told himself. They need you--for -something. They're very good at making you think so, but you're not -going to die. - -A sudden blast of hot air belched into the freezing cell. - -It was Turkish-bath hot, and it dissipated the cold at once. It was -stifling. Rhodes, who was sitting awkwardly because the cell was -constructed for minimum comfort, opened his mouth and gulped in the -hot, wet air. His lungs needed more oxygen; his head was giddy with the -need; his pulses throbbed. - -He sank into a troubled sleep, shoulders propped against rough stone. -He slept for half an hour while the unseen vents in the cell poured -heat on him. - -There was a grating sound, and footsteps. Something hard prodded -Rhodes' back. He opened his eyes. The heavy boot struck again, thudding -against his kidney. He rolled away from it. - -"Crawl out of there," the guard said in Kedaki. - -Rhodes, who was a student of the Kedaki civilization, understood the -language perfectly. But even if he had not, the tone of voice was -unmistakable. Rhodes crawled toward the grating on his hands and -knees. The roof of the cell was so low, he could barely crawl. It was -more a slithering motion. Part of the treatment, Rhodes told himself, -able to bear it better because he understood. Part of the process of -degradation. Turn a man into an animal, and he'll do whatever you wish. - -"More questions?" Rhodes asked in Kedaki when he stood up outside the -cell, stretching the cramped muscles of his back, shoulders and legs. - -"What do you think?" the guard replied, and prodded him forward down -the brightly lit corridor. - - * * * * * - -The room was very clean. It was spotless, possibly antiseptically -clean. That, too, was part of the plan. For Rhodes' cell was filthy. -Rhodes' clothing was stiff with his own foul sweat. Rhodes' skin itched -with encrusted dirt. - -"Sit down," the Kedaki said politely. - -Rhodes sighed. This was the polite one. He had two interrogators, one -cruel, brutal, harsh, the other as polite and suave as the rustle of -silk. To keep Rhodes guessing.... - -He sat down across a metal desk from the interrogator. The man was, -Rhodes judged, in his thirties. He had the faintly purple skin of the -Kedaki--not really purple, but as purple as the skin of an American -Indian is red. He was slightly built, smooth-skinned, almost beardless. -His eyes were very friendly but somehow very deadly. - -"You have been here three months," he said conversationally. - -"Three months! Yesterday, they told me...." - -"Yesterday? Indeed? And how do you know it was yesterday?" - -"Well, I thought...." - -"You see, you have no way of knowing." - -"But three months! You haven't even told me why I'm a prisoner. If I -could just make a call," Rhodes said, his voice rising to an almost -hysterical whine although he attempted to keep it level. "Just one call -to the Earth Consul...." - -"Mr. Rhodes," the interrogator said softly. "You are a student, merely -a student. I do not say this deprecatingly, but merely to point out -that you are not a servant of your government and as such shouldn't -undergo torture because you consider it the, ah, patriotic thing to do. -How old are you, Rhodes?" - -"I'm twenty-one," Rhodes said. - -"A very young man, but stubborn." - -"Listen!" Rhodes cried, his voice rising out of control again. "I don't -even know what you want to know! Every day you change your questions! -And every day you change how you react to my answers. I don't know what -you want! I think you're crazy, all of you!" - -"Do you really think so?" - -"No," Rhodes admitted in a subdued voice. - -"I will tell you something, Rhodes. We Kedaki are experts at -psychological torture. You know that, don't you, as a student of our -culture? Yes?--good. Eventually, we get what we want. Since no Kedaki -fears death because he knows he will be reincarnated--" - -"You _say_." - -"No Kedaki doubts this fact. Other creatures are not reincarnated, but -the Kedaki are. As a consequence, the Kedaki are fearless. The fear -of death does not exist for us and therefore, the fear of pain and -violence is also minimized. The Kedaki, as you know, make wonderful -soldiers. I tell you all this only to prove that we are the galaxy's -most adept practitioners of psychological torture, as a necessity. I -tell you all this only to save you further trouble." - -"But I still don't know what you want." - -"Nor will you, ever. Even when we are finished with you. I'll tell you, -Rhodes. We want the answer to one question. We are asking you hundreds. -When we break you completely, when you answer every question the way we -want it to be answered, you will answer the one important question. Are -you ready?" - -"No," said Rhodes. - -"What do you mean, no?" - -"Because I can never tell in advance whether you want the truth or -lies. Because either way I give myself a hard time. Look: just ask me -the one question. Maybe I won't mind answering it." - -"You'll mind. Besides, when we're all finished here, we don't want you -to know. What kind of work do you do, Rhodes?" - -"You know what kind. I already told you, fifty times." - -"What kind of work do you do, Rhodes?" - -"I'm a student of extra-terrestrial anthropology at Deneb University, -doing field work here on Kedak...." - -"Good." - -Good, thought Rhodes. They're accepting the truth today, not rejecting -it. He settled back in his chair and answered the unimportant initial -questions almost automatically. His family back on Earth. Mother, -father, younger sister. What he thought of Deneb III and the university -there. Why he wanted to be an extra-terrestrial anthropologist. Exactly -what kind of field work he was doing on Kedak. - -"Reincarnation," Rhodes said. "At least, a planet-wide belief in -reincarnation. It's unique in the galaxy, as far as we know, and it -sets the pattern for Kedaki civilization." - -"You are making a planet-wide study?" - -Rhodes shook his head. He'd been asked these questions many times -before, but it was the subject he loved and he felt himself warming to -it. "Not a planet-wide study," he said. "Just this city. Just Junction -City. But if you can learn how a sweeping social institution controls -one center of population, then...." - -"I'm sure," the interrogator said dryly. - -"Besides, there are the ruins outside the city." - -"Indeed, there are the ruins." - -"Because an anthropologist is interested in the history of his subject -as well as its merely ephemeral present. And there are those who -believe that the Balata 'kai ruins hold the origin of your belief in -metempsychosis...." - -"Do you, Rhodes?" - -"Yes. Yes, I do." - -"Have you found anything to fortify this belief?" - -"I have." - -"What have you found?" - -"The Balata 'kai _Book of the Dead_. Oh, it isn't a book, really. It's -some tablets--five thousand years old." - -"You have seen these tablets?" - -"Yes," said Rhodes. - -"Where?" - -"The Temple of the Golden Dome, Balata 'kai." - -"They are there now?" - -"No," said Rhodes. "I took them." - -"You took them where?" - -"Well, I hid them." - -"Where?" - -Rhodes grinned. "I'm not going to answer that," he said. He was -thinking. Prolong the interview, Phil old boy. Because it's clean here, -and neither too warm nor too cold, and you can sit comfortably or stand -if you want to. - -"Why aren't you going to answer it?" - -Rhodes grinned again. "I realize this isn't very important to you...." - -"Everything is important to me while I do my job." - -"But it's very important to me, I was going to say. Because _The Book -of the Dead_ is an anthropological find, that's why. Because I intend -to have an exclusive on it until I've finished my work here." - -"What makes you think _The Book of the Dead_ isn't very important to -us?" - -"Don't tell me," Rhodes said incredulously, "that I'm in jail and being -tortured because I won't tell you where I've hid an anthropological -curiosity which may not even be genuine!" - -"No, I won't tell you. Now, as to the genuineness of _The Book of the -Dead_...." - - * * * * * - -Rhodes felt suddenly sleepy. He'd been awakened to come here. He was -always awakened to come here, sometimes after what he thought was a -full night's sleep and sometimes after what seemed only a few moments. -He listened sleepily as the interrogator went on, surprisingly doing -most of the talking. He hardly heard the words, had all he could do -to keep his head from slumping down on the desk. It just wasn't very -important. It was preliminary to what really mattered, to the questions -about Earth history, sociology, engineering, economy, which always -followed. - -But why me? Rhodes thought. My subject is extra-terrestrial -anthropology.... - -"... therefore, Rhodes," the interrogator was saying, "_The Book of -the Dead_ is not only the oldest known written document on Kedak, but -also, clearly, genuine. Do you agree?" - -Rhodes stood up and paced back and forth. The interrogator permitted -this, even encouraged it. There was neither room to stand nor to pace -in Rhodes' cell, a fact which made it difficult for Rhodes to do -anything but cooperate completely with his interrogator. Well, why -shouldn't I cooperate? he thought. If I cooperate, they'll let me out -of here. Let me out of here? No, how can they do that? They're holding -an extra-Kedakian illegally, and they know it, and I know it, and they -know I know it. My God, Rhodes thought suddenly, are they going to kill -me when they're finished with me? It seemed the only logical outcome of -all this. - -"... population growth of the Earth colony on the planet Mars?" - -Rhodes supplied the answer, knowing it was one you could find in any -textbook on the Martian colony back in the solar system. All this, he -thought, for what? Because Kedak is resisting its incorporation into -the Galactic League? Because the Kedaki rulers want to be left alone, -fearing that their doctrine of reincarnation will be discredited by -intercourse with other worlds? - -But the one maddening question remained: why Rhodes? - -"... titanium deposits on the moons of Jupiter?" - -"Sorry," Rhodes said, "I don't know the answer to that one." - -At that moment, the room shook. - -Trained since his imprisonment to expect the unexpected, Rhodes thought -it was part of the treatment. But the interrogator seemed surprised. - -There was a deep rumbling which seemed to rise up from the very -bowels of the planet. The room shook again. Rhodes felt himself flung -violently across it, colliding with the far wall. The interrogator's -head slammed against the metal desk, then the interrogator stood up, -blood on his face. - -"Guard!" he cried. "Take this man back to his cell at once!" - -The room shook a third time, plaster sifted down from the ceiling, and -a big crack appeared over Rhodes' head. Through it he saw daylight--the -first daylight he'd seen in three months, if he could believe the -interrogator. - -"Guard!" screamed the interrogator, his composure gone. - -Kedak was, Rhodes knew, an earthquake-prone planet. All young worlds -were, and Kedak was a young world. Was this, then, an earthquake? - -The room swayed, tilted. Rhodes staggered uphill back to the desk, -clutching its edge for support. Underfoot, there was a rolling, booming -sound. You could not merely hear it, you could feel it. It rolled on -from a long way off, coming closer every second, like the distant boom -of a thousand cannon fired at split-second intervals. - -The door opened, and the guard stood there. The interrogator pointed -at Rhodes, shouting something which was swallowed completely by the -rolling, booming sound. The guard shouted something back, unheard in -the noise, then walked toward Rhodes. - -He never reached the Earthman. - -The room rocked. The floor came up suddenly, jarringly, and the ceiling -came down. - -The guard stood there, a look of horror on his face. Not fear of death, -Rhodes found himself thinking in the final few seconds. The Kedaki, -believing in metempsychosis, did not fear death. But the choking, -blinding fear of any man a split-second before personal catastrophe. - -Then, literally, the ceiling fell. - -The guard pivoted slowly, as if he had all the time in the world to -return to the door. He took one small step and the ceiling hit him. -It came down not in one sheet but sectionally, Rhodes found himself -thinking with amazing objectivity, because--see?--the guard is being -struck now, but I haven't been touched.... - -The guard fell, and the ceiling crumpled on top of him. Rhodes saw the -guard's head, very close to the floor, bent at right angles to his -body, which was stretched out and hidden by the shards of plaster and -stone. There was a worm of blood trickling from the guard's nose. His -eyes were opened wide, but the eyeballs had rolled up in the sockets. - -The interrogator screamed, and Rhodes heard the sound faintly above the -thunderous booming before the tons of plaster and stone came down on -both of them. - - - - - CHAPTER II - - -He stood up. - -I'm dead, he thought. How can I be standing, if I'm dead? - -It was dim, but not completely dark. He breathed deeply, and gagged on -plaster dust. He heard a siren distantly, and the brisk, businesslike -sound of flames crackling nearby. - -A pile of masonry covered the broken, battered desk. Automatically, he -groped behind it. There was someone there. They had been talking, he -remembered. - -He found the man, a Kedaki. Am I a Kedaki? he thought. He did not -know. He remembered nothing about himself. - -Shock, he thought reasonably enough. You've been through hell, so just -calm down and it will all come back to you. The man behind the desk was -dead, his skull flattened on top and pulpy. The man nearer to the door -was also dead, his neck broken. He went around the corpse and to the -door, which opened into the room. He opened it, was driven back by a -wall of flame. - -He slammed the door, but not before his eyebrows were seared. He went -quickly to the center of the room and smelled something like feathers -burning before he felt the pain. Then, instinctively, he beat his -hands against his head. His hair had caught fire. He shouted with pain -and looked up and saw the smoke and the fluctuating brightness of the -flame and by the time he got it out he knew all his hair was gone. -He felt his scalp gingerly. It smarted, but there didn't seem to be -any blisters. Third degree burn--he was lucky. Only for the moment, -he realized. Because the fire was still out there and while the door -seemed flame resistant, it wouldn't resist forever. - -He had to find some other way out of here if he didn't want to perish -in the flames. - -He made a swift circuit of the room. There was no other door. There -were no windows. He was engulfed momentarily by panic, but could still -think objectively. See? he told himself. You're afraid. Afraid to die. -So you know at least this much: you're not a Kedaki, whatever else you -are. For the Kedaki wouldn't fear death, that was sure. - -Returning to the door, he opened it a crack. The flames were dazzling, -roaring, dancing things. He shut the door and felt its surface. It was -uncomfortably hot to the touch. He waited a few moments, listening to -the sounds of the flame and the still-wailing siren. Then he touched -the door again. Unmistakably, it had grown hotter. He stood at the -door and shouted for help, then laughed. Nobody would hear him. And -certainly, nobody could come through the fire to rescue him. - -He made a prowling circuit of the room once more. Nothing. - -Then something stirred overhead. He looked up, and the laughter bubbled -in his throat, almost hysterically. - -Beams and masonry and sky. - -The ceiling had come down. Or, most of it had. There was a way out -and he'd not looked for it, not found it at first, because he hadn't -expected to find it over his head. - -He jumped, came down again. What's the matter with me? he thought. It's -way over my head. I'm acting crazy. - -He looked at the door. It was glowing a dull red now. There was a dry -burning sound. A flame licked through the door tentatively. Got to -hurry, he thought. - -The pile of masonry covering the desk seemed tall enough. He climbed -it, stood there, reached up with his hands. Short, by several feet. -He looked at the door: hungry flames were devouring it. He crouched, -tensing his muscles, then jumped. But the loose-piled masonry offered -no purchase and was dislodged by his feet. The result was that his -groping fingers did not even come close to the beams overhead. - -A second time he tried it, and this time the rubble underfoot shifted -and he was flung to the floor. This won't do, he told himself. This -won't do at all. If you don't get out of here, and get out of here -fast, you're going to be roasted. - -Now the distant siren's wail had come closer. Something rumbled -outside, and the next moment he was deluged with water. By this time -the flames were eating their way along the wall on either side of -the door. They leaped to the rubble on the floor, found something -combustible there, and burned. He began to choke on the smoke and the -steam as water hissed and boiled on the masonry. - -They'd put the fire out, all right, he thought. Eventually, they'd get -it under control. But if I'm not broiled by the flames I'm going to be -boiled in their fire-fighting water, so what difference does it make? - -He tried the desk again, but could not jump high enough. He stood -there, panting with the effort to get enough oxygen into his lungs. The -flames danced playfully around him. The fact that there was so much in -the room that could burn surprised him. - -Once more he jumped. He hardly had the strength to clear the floor with -his feet. His left ankle was numb and when he came down he knew he -would not be able to jump again. - -That was it. He'd burn. - - * * * * * - -A crafty look suddenly came into his eyes. You're hysterical, he -thought, and was right. But it didn't matter. He got down on hands and -knees, then on his belly. Cooler near the floor, he told himself, still -smiling craftily. You're outfoxing the fire, old boy. You crafty devil. -Close to the floor, he could breathe. But it was hot, and the flames -circled him, expectantly, it seemed, as if they had burned through the -entire prison just for a chance to get at him. - -Tentatively, a tongue of flame licked at his arm. He brushed it away -as you would brush an insect away. It came back, playfully. It hardly -seemed to hurt but he screamed anyway. - -When the fire was finally brought under control, they found him. His -skin was red and blistered where it was not black and crisp. His prison -uniform had been consumed completely by the flames, as had all his -body hair. Miraculously, he was still alive. It was a slow, irregular -heartbeat and they did not expect it to last long, but dutifully they -took him to the aid station. - -He was lucky there. - -Among the doctors on duty to treat the thousands of victims of the -Junction City earthquake was an Arcturan named Quotis. Now Quotis, -unlike the Kedaki, had a high regard for human life. For Quotis did -not believe in reincarnation since Quotis was not a Kedaki. The other -doctors looked at the burned thing which had been a man and shook their -heads and one of them said, "It doesn't matter, my friend," patting -Quotis on the back and winking at the others. But Quotis, shrugging, -replied, "The man is still alive and if he is alive it's my job to keep -him alive." The Kedaki physician pointed out that there were bones to -set elsewhere, and states of shock to be treated, and lacerations to -mend, but Quotis would not hear of it. - -The case intrigued him. The man should have been dead, but was still -living. Besides, he was a Kedaki, wasn't he? And the Kedakis held death -in very little regard. Therefore, Dr. Quotis told himself happily, -he would be able to practice his new theories of skin rebirth on -the injured Kedaki. But he had to hurry because a loss of half the -epidermis was usually fatal, and this Kedaki had lost all of it to -either first or second degree burns. Why, you couldn't even see the -faintly purple tint of the skin anywhere.... - -If he died in the treatment? Quotis shrugged. No approved of treatment -could save him. Still, on most civilized planets the answer would have -been no. But on Kedaki? On Kedaki it was different. Smiling and eager, -Quotis gave the order that took the dying man to a hospital near the -aid station. Of native Kedaki hospitals, of course, there were none. -Firm believers in metempsychosis, the Kedaki did not waste time and -effort keeping moribund people alive. The injured, yes: but the injured -could be treated, as the situation demanded, at aid stations like the -one set up after the Junction City earthquake. - -The hospital which Dr. Quotis took his patient to was the Arcturan -hospital in Junction City, an institution made necessary by the fact -that many Arcturan nationals lived on Kedak, particularly in Junction -City, which was not only a native but an interplanetary trading center. - -While the patient was made ready, Quotis thought: You cannot graft skin -on a man with no skin left. For the only effective graft is that of a -man's own epidermis--or that of his identical twin, should one exist. - -Then why couldn't you supply brand new skin tissue? thought the -Arcturan happily, utterly involved in his scientific detachment. -Impermanent, of course. But that didn't matter. It would keep the -patient alive and would stimulate the growth of new skin before it -sloughed off. Say, a month. One Kedakin month. The new skin would be -identical with the artificial skin and not with the patient's former -epidermis, but that didn't matter. Too bad I don't even have a picture -to go by, though, he Arcturan thought. Perhaps there is a mole or -some other blemish which, foolishly, he would want reproduced. Well, -no matter. At least the faint purple pigmentation of the Kedaki is -easy to make, yes, very easy. Now an Arcturan with his vivid orange -skin would be something else again, Quotis admitted, or an Earthman -with the subtle gradations of pale tan. But those could come later. It -would be enough, for now, to save this one life with the revolutionary -development in skin regrowth. - -"Patient is ready, doctor," the orange Arcturan nurse said. - -"Still alive?" - -"For the moment, yes." - -"You give him...." - -"Only a few minutes, I'm afraid." - -"Then we must hurry," said Quotis, and rushed into the operating room. - - - - - CHAPTER III - - -"How do you feel?" Quotis asked. - -"Still stiff," said the patient. - -"But otherwise?" - -"Otherwise fine. They told me how you saved my life, doctor," the -patient said in Arcturan. - -"I'm still surprised how well you speak my language." - -"I seem to have a gift for tongues. I can speak Earthian, Arcturan, -Sirian, Fomalhaution, and naturally, my own Kedaki. All of them with -just about no accent, all of them equally well." - -"We'll be taking the bandages off today. You still don't have any -hair, but that ought to grow back later. You're alive, and that's what -counts. Can you believe that every square inch of your skin surface was -gone when they found you last month?" - -"That's what the nurses keep telling me. Do you think that after the -bandages are removed, doctor, they might find out about me?" - -"We were hoping your memory would come back of its own accord. -Otherwise," Quotis shrugged, "there are other ways. As you can -imagine, thousands of your fellow Kedaki are still missing, after the -quake. Most of them probably will never be found, so there ought to -be thousands of people through here to look at you--when you're well -enough. Never fear, one of them will know you." - -"But the prison office? Doesn't it mean something that I was found in -the prison office?" - -"It might, but the prison authorities report that all their men are -accounted for, safe, killed, injured--none missing. Why, do you -remember working in the prison?" - -"No," said Rhodes, "I don't remember anything." - -"Relax! Please, relax. Someone will know you. Someone will be able to -trigger that memory of yours. Relax, if you will...." - -"There were no marks of identification on me?" - -"No, none. Your clothing was burned off. You were naked as well -as completely skinned," said Quotis, beaming. "Remarkable cure. -Remarkable. On Arcturus, when I return, I will astound the medical -profession. Here on Kedaki, unfortunately, there is no such organized -profession. Well, now, about your new skin...." - -"What about fingerprints?" Rhodes persisted. "My identity may not be -important to you, doctor. But it's important to me." - -"I understand, I understand. I didn't mean to be so callous. But -consider. You have no fingerprints. It will be a while before the -whorls re-establish themselves on your new skin. Immediately after the -operation, before you were bandaged, we took your retinal pattern, but -there was no record of it in the Junction City Identity Center or with -the local police. There is absolutely no way you can be identified, -except through your own memory or the efforts of your Kedaki friends -and relatives to find you. In time, I'm sure everything will -straighten out. Meanwhile," said Quotis, smiling, "if you're ready, -we can remove the bandages from your face. Tomorrow, from the rest of -your body. If there are any imperfections, don't worry. Eventually, the -artificial skin we have given you shall become your old skin again. -I mean that literally. For example, if we have left out--through -ignorance--a birthmark or a mole, it will reappear again after six -or seven months have passed. Your fingerprints will also, as I have -indicated, re-establish themselves. If we have made your pigmentation -too light or too dark, your true color will also appear after some -months.... Well, then, are you ready? Ready for that first look at -yourself? It might help, you know. It might trigger something!" cried -Quotis enthusiastically. - -Even while he was speaking, he had begun to remove the bandages from -Rhodes' face. "The room will be dark," he said. "Gradually, we will -increase the light. Your eyes have been in darkness for a long time." - -"My eyes...." said Rhodes in sudden fear. - -"You are worrying about them? You needn't. They were examined when the -retinal pattern was taken. Miraculously, as miraculously as the fact -that you are alive, your eyes are all right. Now, then, here we are! -See--ummmm, no you cannot see yet. It is dark. There, a little more -light. A little more. The eyes, they are all right?" - -"It seems awfully bright." - -"Any light would, at first. There, a little more. But you are young! -Hardly more than a boy, I should judge. The purple of your skin--yes, -the purple looks fine.... Not a mark, not a trace. My boy, you will not -even be scarred." - -His face still felt stiff, but very cool. The contact with air was very -welcome and the soft stirring of the currents of air as the doctor's -hands did some final adjustments on the bandages which still covered -him from the neck down, tucking them back into place. - -The first thing he saw was the doctor, a small bespectacled man with -the vividly orange skin of a full-blooded Arcturan. The doctor was all -smiles, and understandably. Then he saw a mirror. It was held before -his face and he was aware of the doctor's slight intake of breath as he -waited for a reaction, hoping some forgotten memory might be triggered. - -He looked in the mirror. "I--I'm purple!" he gawked. - -The doctor frowned. "Of course, purple. The Kedaki color." - -"I'm sorry. I don't know why it startled me." - -"Well, I can tell you. I am an Arcturan. This is an Arcturan hospital, -and we have been speaking Arcturan. Even if you had been unable to see -until today, you associated everything about this place with Arcturus. -Probably," and Dr. Quotis laughed, "you were expecting orange skin." - -"Probably," said Rhodes, and laughed with him. - -"Well, enough excitement for one day. If you are strong enough, -tomorrow we can have the first of your visitors, people trying to -identify you. I warn you, there will be hundreds, thousands." - -"Any time you say," Rhodes replied eagerly. But behind the eagerness -was a certain vague confusion. Why had the purple tints of his new skin -stirred him so strangely? Purple. Kedaki skin color. What else did he -expect? - - * * * * * - -The Director of the Five Bureau, the Kedaki Secret Police, said, "Stop -acting like a fool, please." - -"But sir," wailed the prison warden. "I tell you, the Earthman's body -was not uncovered in what remained of the prison." - -"What does that mean?" the Director demanded scornfully. "I have here -the final earthquake casualty report for Junction City--shall I read -it to you? There are over six thousand people still missing, my dear -warden. Six thousand." - -"Yes, I know," persisted the prison official. "But doesn't it seem -strange that of all the inmates and guards at the prison, the Earth -archaeologist alone is missing?" - -"Nevertheless, we can assume that virtually all of those missing are -dead, buried forever under the debris of the municipal disaster." - -"Still, you know how important this Earthman is, what trouble he can -cause...." - -"_I_ know," snapped the Director arrogantly, "But do you?" - -"Well, I have been told...." - -"Told! Told what you had to know, told to furnish the Earthman with a -maximum security cell, and so forth. You know nothing!" - -"I still...." - -With a wave of his hand, the Director dismissed the warden. -Then, sitting alone at his desk, he lit a cigarette. It was an -Earth-cigarette, and a good one. These things, the Director mused, we -accept from the outworlders. Their little luxuries. But their way of -life, he told himself, never. Whatever threatens our way of life, we -seek out and destroy. He leaned on a corner of the desk's surface and -in a moment a serving girl came obsequiously into the room with a tray. -Patting her rump playfully, as you might stroke the head of a dog, the -Director selected the bottle he wanted from the tray, indicating that -she should make him a drink. He waited, watching her graceful movements -as she set down the tray and poured the liquid into a delicate glass -of Regan crystal. The drink, heady and delicious, was Aldeberanean -fire wine. He savored it slowly, then with a gesture indicated that -the girl, who wore nothing but a kirtle to cover the nakedness of her -loins, should depart. He leaned back and thought: This too--not the -wine, but the woman. - -Because the woman would be impossible if the Kedaki way of life were -changed. A system, he went on thinking, founded on bedrock as strong as -the pull between the planets. - -Metempsychosis.... - -Do you believe in reincarnation? he asked himself. He chuckled, the -sound deep in his throat. He was no fool and did not hold a fool's -belief. But the others? The servant classes, the slaves? Yes, they -believed. All their lives, they were indoctrinated to believe. -Reincarnation was the stuff of which their dreams were fashioned, and -so it was that they accepted the hard lot of lifelong servitude with -the hope that in their next birth, had they led a good, loyal life, -they would be born to a higher station. - -Change that? thought the Director. He shook his head slowly, grimly. -But the Earthman Rhodes had been a problem, for in the age-old ruins -of Balata 'kai he'd stumbled on the manuscript of _The Book of the -Dead_, a five thousand year old document which had first propounded -the beliefs of metempsychosis. _The Book of the Dead_ was a dangerous -document, a document which could ignite Kedak in revolutionary -conflagration, for it showed clearly that the so-called gods of the -earliest Kedaki civilization were not gods at all and their so-called -revelation of metempsychosis not a revelation at all but a clever -trick calculated to win them a life of ease at the expense of gullible -subjects. - -What am I thinking? the Director asked himself. The Earthman Rhodes -is dead, of course. He couldn't possibly be alive. I'm as bad as the -warden, but the warden is a fool who knows nothing.... Still, even if -the warden is a fool and Rhodes is dead, _The Book of the Dead_ is -still missing. And if there is one chance in a million that Rhodes -lives, then every stone on this planet must be turned to find him.... - - - - - CHAPTER IV - - -"Tired, my young friend?" Dr. Quotis asked. - -"Disappointed, I guess," Rhodes admitted. - -"I know how you feel. For three days people have been coming here to -see you with the hope that you might be a missing relative. But--" - -"But none of them knew me," Rhodes finished bleakly. "And yesterday -they were only a trickle." - -"All it will take is one." - -"Doctor, I don't have to tell you I owe my life to you, but--well, I'm -restless." - -"You're young," Quotis said with a smile. - -"I've got to get out and find the lost threads of my life. I'm well -enough, you said so yesterday." - -"But a man in your condition--" - -"Amnesia? So what? I'm perfectly able to take care of myself. It isn't -as if I'm on an alien world or something. Kedak is my home. Kedak is--" - -"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Quotis asked abruptly. - -For a while Rhodes did not answer. And, when finally he did, it was -with a question of his own. "Why do you ask that?" - -"Because it might answer at least one question for you: whether you are -of high or low birth. If of low, then...." - -Rhodes said with a smile, "Since I haven't jumped on your back and -started gouging out your eyes, I guess I wasn't Kedaki baseborn." - -"You highborn Kedaki certainly make no attempt to hide your -irreverency!" - -"Well, why should they?" said Rhodes. "After all, the system is clearly -one which...." - -"They? Did you say they?" - -"I guess I did." - -"Doesn't that strike you as rather odd?" - -Rhodes shrugged, then said, "Look, I'm all confused. I just want to get -out of here and find my life and pick it up where I left off." - -"But you know nothing of your past. Where will you go?" - -"I might as well start at the prison. That's where they found me, isn't -it?" - -Quotis shook his head firmly, and his usually mild voice took on -surprising strength. "Don't be a fool, man!" he cried. "We've already -checked with the prison. None of their personnel is missing. However, -I don't know if they'd checked the inmates at that time. Don't you see?" - -"You mean, if I belong at the prison at all, it's as a prisoner?" - -"Exactly." - -"Still, if I'm to find out anything about myself ... maybe some -discreet inquiries--" - -"Which should never be made by you, my young friend, at least not in -person. If you remain on here and allow me to look into the matter for -you, I'd consider it part of the treatment." - -Rhodes shook his head, saying, "I appreciate that, doctor. I appreciate -all you've done for me. But from now on, I start paying my own way." - -Quotis squinted at him. "Paying your own way? That's an idiom, isn't -it? Surely not Arcturan, as it translates so poorly into the Arcturan -language. Kedaki?" - -"I don't know," Rhodes admitted. - -"Well, I doubt if it is Kedaki. The Kedaki language is not the -galaxy's most imaginary. It has fewer idiomatic phrases than any. Could -I have ... no! No, forget it." - -"What were you going to say?" - -"There's no sense confusing you further when Lord knows you're confused -enough." - -"But you've got to tell me if it's something which might help me learn -my identity. Don't you see that, doctor?" - -"I was thinking ... well, is it possible--just barely possible mind -you--that you are not a Kedaki?" - -"Not a Kedaki? But my skin! My skin is purple!" - -"Because I made it purple. That's no answer. If you're determined to -leave here, you ought to at least know that much. You know absolutely -nothing about yourself. You could be mistaken in everything you think. -For example, you probably are a Kedaki--but you consider yourself a -highborn Kedaki when you might well be lowborn. It makes sense, doesn't -it? All your life, as a lowborn Kedaki, you've been waiting for death -and rebirth, hoping you'd get your chance at a higher station in -life. Now, after near-death, your subconscious mind is unwilling to -accept a return to your lowborn status, so you no longer believe in -reincarnation and hence trick yourself into thinking you're highborn. -It could explain the amnesia, too." - -Rhodes shook his head. "That's a neat theory, except, if true, I -wouldn't understand a word you're saying. In the first place, I -probably wouldn't know any extra-Kedakian language. In the second, -I wouldn't hear such irreverent talk without going berserk. In the -third, I wouldn't understand terms like subconscious mind and even -metempsychosis." Rhodes grinned. "But anyhow, you've given me an idea." - -"What's that?" - -"I'll need a name for myself. In a way I died and was born again, as -happens to all good Kedaki. So, how about Matlin?" - -"Matlin? That means The Reborn, doesn't it?" - -"The Reborn," Rhodes said, nodding. "Well, doc, The Reborn is going to -get dressed and out of here. And thanks for everything." - -"Will I be able to contact you anywhere, if I learn something?" - -"I'll contact you, after I get settled." - -An hour later, Rhodes signed the Arcturan hospital release form. He -signed the form with his new name, Matlin. - - * * * * * - -The Dean of the Department of Archaeology of the Junction City branch -of Kedaki College entered the hospital twenty minutes after Matlin had -walked out into the dazzling Denebian sunshine. The Dean, whose name -was Gawroi, hardly seemed the academic type. For Gawroi was a strapping -baseborn Kedaki who had done the near impossible: Gawroi had risen in -life to a position of some importance among his people. He was a big -fellow with enormous shoulders and an appetite for life second only -to his appetite for eating. But Gawroi, for all his hedonism, was not -soft. He was a hard, capable man--who passionately believed in the -Kedaki doctrine of reincarnation. - -That Five Bureau Director, he thought with admiration. Smart. He was -smart, all right. He's finally got a lead on this Earthman, Rhodes. -But he doesn't send a Five Bureau Operative. Why should he? An -extra-Kedakian like the plastic surgeon Quotis of Arcturus would be -suspicious of a Five Bureau Operative, wouldn't he? The Kedaki Secret -Police--of course he would be suspicious. But of a fellow scientist, an -archaeologist? Never! - -Gawroi grinned in admiration, then waited until the grin vanished, -waited until his big, earnest face assumed its most earnest look, and -entered Quotis' office. Quotis, he observed, was a small bespectacled -Arcturan with vivid orange skin. Quotis rushed around his desk, -beaming, to pump Gawroi's right hand in the Earth gesture which had -swept the galaxy. - -"Gawroi!" he exclaimed. "I've heard of you. This is a pleasure, a real -pleasure." - -Gawroi sat down, settling down and trying to mask his impatience while -Quotis talked of various discoveries in Kedaki archaeology. Quotis was -a garrulous fellow, he thought. Perhaps all Arcturans were garrulous; -he did not know much about Arcturans: he hardly had had any desire to -study the extra-Kedaki people, any of them. - -"But, to your business," Quotis finally said. "I apologize, my friend. -You should have stopped me. I'm sure you didn't come here to hear an -old man talk." - -Gawroi assured him it had been a great pleasure listening, then said, -"There was an Earthman co-worker of mine at the College, a bright young -fellow named Rhodes--you've heard of him?" - -"No. Should I have?" - -"Mr. Rhodes has been missing since the earthquake, Dr. Quotis. He had -been assigned to the College by his home office in order to make a -study of extra-terrestrial penal conditions, in this case, the penal -conditions here on Kedak, in Junction City. He was at the prison at -the time of the quake, and since every other person there has been -accounted for, living or dead, and Rhodes has not...." - -"Why come to me?" - -"Because the Five Bureau tells us that a badly burned man was brought -here, was treated by you. Tell me, doctor, was he an Earthman? Did he -survive? Is he here now?" - -"If he survived," said Quotis slowly, "wouldn't he have got in touch -with you?" - -Gawroi said, "We thought an injury, a blow on the head...." - -"The man I treated was a Kedaki." - -"Yes?" - -"Yes." - -"You speak in the past tense," Gawroi said. The words came -automatically. He was thinking: you fool, Gawroi. That was a mistake. -A bad mistake. Naturally, if Rhodes was your friend Rhodes would have -contacted you after his accident. How can you think it was amnesia, -when total amnesia is such a rare thing? See? See the Arcturan doctor? -He's suspicious now. Does that mean the man _was_ an Earthman? - -"I treated him," Quotis said. "He's gone now." - -"Treatment successful, doctor? But that is wonderful. I heard the man -was severely burned. Do you have his picture?" - -"No," said Quotis promptly. - -"Could you have been mistaken?" - -"About what?" - -"About this man's planetality? Tell me, doctor, could he have been an -Earthman?" - -"His skin was burned completely. His memory was gone. He might have -been anything," Quotis admitted reluctantly. - - * * * * * - -Gawroi thought: that was a break. The man actually did have amnesia. -He said, "There, you see? It was as I thought. But tell me, doctor: he -suffered from amnesia, and you let him go?" - -"He was an adult. It was his decision to make. I didn't approve of it." - -"You have a clinical description of the man?" - -"Of course." - -"Can you forward it to my office?" - -"I'll do that. If it's possible for you to tell me why this Earthman is -so important to you...?" - -"Why? Why is Philip Rhodes important?" boomed Gawroi. "Because he was -my friend, Dr. Quotis! I want to find my friend! Is that strange?" - -"No," Quotis admitted. - -"Well, did Rhodes leave a forwarding address?" - -"He did not. He may contact me. I rather think he will." - -"Splendid, doctor. Splendid. When he does, assuming there is some -possibility that this is the same man, will you tell him to contact -me at once. With my help he will be able to take up the thread -of his former existence," Gawroi finished enthusiastically. But -he was thinking: in a Five Bureau torture cell, where he belongs, -this extra-Kedaki, this alien who has dared to counterfeit his own -criminally inaccurate version of the _Book of the Dead_. - -"I'll let you know," Quotis said. "If you happen to have a picture of -this Earthman Rhodes, I may be able to offer an opinion now." - -Gawroi nodded. "I can oblige you with that." He rummaged in a pocket of -his tunic with big, capable hands. He handed a small glossy photograph -to Dr. Quotis. It was of a young, smiling Earthman, in color, showing -the faintly tan, almost white Earth complexion starkly against a -background of green vegetation. - -Studying the picture, Quotis mused aloud, "It's possible. It certainly -is possible. The features seem the same, Gawroi. But how can I be sure? -Matlin--" - -"Matlin? He called himself The Reborn? He dared to!" - -"It was symbolic to him, I guess." - -"Symbolic? But he dared...." - -"See here, Gawroi. You're a scientist. You ought to keep a check on -your emotions. And you oughtn't be so opinionated. Don't the highborn -Kedaki look with suspicion on the doctrine of metempsychosis?" - -"You extra-Kedaki like to think so," Gawroi said, keeping his voice -down with an effort. "I--I'm sorry for the outburst, doctor." But more -than ever, he was convinced that the man who called himself Matlin was -the Earthman Rhodes, an outsider who wanted to smash five thousand -years of Kedaki tradition with an alleged seeking after the truth. - -"Matlin, as I was saying," Quotis went on finally, "was utterly bald. -His hair won't grow in, you see, until the follicles have had a chance -to adjust to the new skin. Without hair, a face assumes different -proportions. The nose seems larger, the brow more noble. Then, of -course, Matlin's skin is purple, and that also makes a difference. -Still, I'll admit it: it could be the same man." - -"I thought so!" Gawroi said triumphantly. "Doctor, I sincerely want to -find my friend. You'll help?" - -"If Matlin contacts me, yes. Otherwise, I can do nothing." - -"He had complete amnesia?" - -"Total amnesia, yes." - -"Even if there was something very important to him--something he was -working on and believed in very strongly, for example--he couldn't -remember that?" - -"No, but if he runs across it, it might serve to trigger his memory." - -Gawroi stood up, shook his hands once more, chatted amicably for -a few moments with the Arcturan physician, then went outside. -It was a dazzlingly bright day, and hot. Much of Junction City -was still in ruins, great piles of rubble lining the streets, -broken buildings--their walls shattered, their insides exposed -nakedly--condemned but not yet torn down, aid stations only now being -cleared away. But Gawroi was not thinking of this. He was thinking of -_The Book of the Dead_, and of the Earthman Rhodes. - -Somewhere, Rhodes had hidden _The Book_--or, his version of _The Book_. -Rhodes had done an admittedly magnificent job of forgery, or so the -Five Bureau had said. Rhodes' _Book_ looked like the real thing and, -since the masses were ignorant, might serve to sway them. Naturally, -Gawroi knew, this could not be accomplished overnight, but the seeds -for discord and strife could be sowed by a clever extra-Kedaki like -Rhodes in the night of ignorance and discontent. Then, Rhodes had to be -found, had to be stopped, had to be killed if necessary. - -But first Rhodes had to lead them to his _Book of the Dead_. Gawroi's -enormous hands clutched. He personally, would see that this was done. - - - - - CHAPTER V - - -The man newly named Matlin, which meant The Reborn, stood at the bar -in the Hotel Deneb. Matlin wore an inexpensive tunic supplied him by -the Arcturan hospital, and still had a few silver denebs in his pocket, -also courtesy of the Arcturan hospital. Matlin was not drunk, but -wished that he was. - -He should not have come here. He knew that now. It had been wrong to -surrender to drink like this, before he had time to think, to prowl -the damaged streets and seek out the familiar in a world which seemed -totally alien because his mind was lost somewhere in the shattered -prison building. Had he been a drunkard in his earlier life? or at -least a not very forceful man who readily lost himself in some form of -lethe or another when his problems weighed heavily on his shoulders? -Had this, indeed, been the weak character he'd been trying to resurrect? - -Lethe. He thought: lethe. But what is lethe? It is not a Kedaki word, -but in your thoughts you use it. Isn't it said that a man tends to -think at least some of his thoughts in his native tongue, no matter -where he lives or how long he has been away from home? - -Lethe. It meant: forgetfulness. The waters of ... no, the river of -forgetting. Lethe. It meant that all right. But in what language? This -Matlin did not know. - -The bar of the Hotel Deneb, since the hotel was Junction City's best, -catered to extra-Kedaki and to highborn natives. You could always tell -the highborn by the rich-looking tunics they wore, tell their ladies -by the way you could see breast and loins through the transparent, -clinging garments, and tell both sexes among the highborn by their -arrogance toward lower born Kedaki and toward all extra-planetary -peoples. You could, all right, Matlin thought desperately, but why do -I think this? A lowborn Kedaki would not: he would hope for rebirth, -someday, as a highborn. And a highborn? But a highborn would never -admit it, not even to himself. - -Matlin ordered another glass of Sirian whisky with a soda chaser. -Sirian? Why Sirian? He seemed to like the fiery brew, but Sirius was -five hundred and some years across intergalactic space. Was he a -Sirian? That didn't seem likely, for the Sirians were chauvinistic, -rarely leaving their homeworld.... - -Chauvinistic. Another word, like lethe. Not a Kedaki word. A word from -somewhere else, but Matlin could not recall where. As it turned out, he -did not have time to pursue the matter, for a voice at his elbow said: - -"I'll say it again. You were eyeing my woman with lust." - -This jolted Matlin, until he realized he was not being addressed. The -words were spoken by an expensively-dressed highborn Kedaki on his -left, but the man's face was averted. He was talking, Matlin realized, -to a baseborn Kedaki further down the bar who, from the looks of his -tunic, probably had no business here. - -Between them, an amused look on her face, stood a Kedaki woman. She -was incredibly beautiful with the extremely arrogant beauty found -among the highborn Kedaki ladies who, it was said, might have each -toenail painted by a different lowborn slave if they so desired. Her -face was pampered but insolent, and her body, its beauty of line and -curve and hue enhanced rather than hidden by the diaphanous folds of -her veil-like garment, was magnificent. She said, in a deep, throaty, -contralto voice, "Now really, Felg. Don't you think that's enough?" - - * * * * * - -The man named Felg was a big fellow, tall as Matlin but heavier, with -a dueling scar on each cheek. Duels, Matlin knew, were common on Kedak -as copter zoning tickets were on other worlds, for you had nothing -to lose in a duel but your life, and what did this matter against -the possible loss of honor if your death would immediately usher -a--possibly better--rebirth? - -"I don't think it's enough," said Felg. "This lowborn was gawking at -you and while you are beautiful, he should not gawk at another's woman." - -"I am neither your woman nor anyone else's," the beautiful creature -said coldly. - -This angered Felg. If there had been the chance of preventing a duel, -that chance was gone now, trampled in the dust of what might have been -by the woman's insolent words. "Well, then," Felg said slowly, "you are -my woman at least as long as I am your escort. You, there!" he roared, -turning again to the lowborn Kedak who stood waiting quietly, patiently -and almost indifferently. "Are you armed?" - -"I am armed, master," said the lowborn. He was a small, thin Kedaki -with a piping but unfrightened voice. Instinctively, Matlin sympathized -with him. Smaller, weaker, with less to remember and less to look -forward to, victimized by a system hardly above slavery, he was forced -by tradition to wait on the highborn Felg's pleasure, even if that -pleasure were to mean death in an uneven duel with the spike-studded -Kedaki maces. - -Felg laughed harshly. "No dagger, you fool. I mean a mace." - -"I carry no mace," the lowborn admitted. - -"Barkeep!" roared Felg, but the barkeep, highborn as Felg himself, -shook his head slowly, saying: - -"We serve extra-Kedaki here, see? The place is full of them. There will -be no duel here tonight, or any night." - -"But it's lawful," said Felg stubbornly. - -"Lawful or not--" began the barkeep. Then the beautiful woman smiled at -Felg, a smile not for him but at him, a baring of the teeth in amused -contempt. And she hissed: - -"Felg, I swear, you are a barbarian." - -Felg slammed his hand down on the surface of the bar. "It is lawful. I -demand my rights! Bring maces!" - -"I await you, lord," said the lowborn. - -"Not here," the barkeep said softly, not wanting to create a -disturbance. Then he looked at Felg's eyes. Felg's eyes told him that -Felg had been made a fool of before the woman, but they did not tell -him what Felg did not know: Felg had been made a fool of by himself. -The eyes did say, however, that if Felg did not have satisfaction -from the lowborn, he would have it from the barkeep himself. And the -voice, a roaring, thundering bellow, confirmed this. "I'll duel with -him here!" cried Felg. "Here and now I will!" He added softly, almost -purring: "Or I'll duel with you outside, friend. Do you believe in -metempsychosis, friend?" - -Matlin knew what the barkeep's unspoken answer was by the ashen look -which came over the man's face. He most assuredly did not believe. -He was afraid to die. He did not want to duel with Felg, a bully and -probably an expert with the mace. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. -He looked at the lowborn and shook his head. He said, "I'll get the -maces." - -"Room!" someone bellowed, excitement in his voice. "Give them room!" - -Kedaki and extra-planetaries moved away from the bar, forming a rough -square a dozen paces across. The barkeep ducked through a doorway and -Matlin heard a lady tourist from Polaris say, almost squealing the -words, "This is so exciting." The tone of her voice disgusted him. -The extra-Kedaki, he thought. Perhaps they were guilty too. At least, -if they enjoyed the fantastic mores of Kedak, if in any way they -encouraged them, then they shared guilt with the Kedaki highborn. - -But not equal guilt. No, not that. For clearly, the man named Felg was -chiefly to blame here. Big, powerful-looking Felg--a murderer. Because, -Matlin told himself grimly, it would be murder. The smaller Kedaki, the -lowborn, didn't have a chance. Looking at his face, Matlin knew that -the man was aware of this. And Felg? Felg was aware of it too. In the -case of the lowborn awareness did not bring terror, for virtually all -lowborn Kedaki believed in reincarnation. Thus, facing death, Felg's -victim was almost sure he would be reborn in a higher station in life. -But Felg did not believe. Felg was a trained maceman: the scars on his -cheeks--white scar tissue over crushed cheekbones--proved this. Felg -would kill the lowborn and it would be cold-blooded murder morally if -not in the eyes of the Kedaki law. - - * * * * * - -A buzz of eagerness stirred the crowd as the barkeep returned with -the traditional _melgast_, the metal bar from which the two dueling -maces hung on hooks. The maces were a yard long, their stems extremely -light-weight and thick enough around at the base for a man to hold -comfortably, their heads round and heavy and black and studded with -a score or so of half-inch long spikes. As the barkeep brought the -_melgast_ forward, the maces swung back and forth on their hooks. - -The Polarian woman who had been excited gasped. Whispers ran through -the crowd. "Let me see them," Felg demanded coldly, and examined the -maces as the barkeep lifted the _melgast_ over the surface of the bar -with both hands. - -"You can still change your mind," the barkeep suggested. - -Felg raked him with a glance. "Would _you_ want me to?" - -The barkeep could not stare at him long. "No," he said. "Not if you -don't want to." - -"I am ready, master," the lowborn said. - -Felg bowed to him, mocking him. "Select your weapon, then, and tell me -your name so I may have it for the report I must file after our duel." - -The beautiful woman looked at him coldly. "You already have this man -dead and cremated, don't you, Felg?" she asked contemptuously. - -"He'll live on!" cried Felg, in mock reverence. "Don't we all. We live -forever--as we die forever! On with the cycle! Hooray for life! Hooray -for death! Are you ready, lowborn? Ready for your passage to a higher -station?" - -The woman whispered fiercely, "You don't believe a word of that, do -you?" - -Instead of answering her, Felg hefted his mace and waited for the -lowborn's reply. "Ranmut is my name," came the other's piping voice. -And again he said, "I am ready, master." He held the mace uncertainly, -awkwardly. It was obvious to everyone present that he barely knew how -to use it and would not have a chance against the experienced Felg. But -still, he had courage.... - -No, Matlin thought, his courage is based upon a lie! _The Book of the -Dead_--a tissue of lies fabricated thousands of years ago and still -keeping the lowborn Kedaki in fearful bondage to the highborn. But--but -how, Matlin wondered wildly, do I know this? How.... - -He was very adept with the Kedaki mace. He knew that suddenly too, -and at first the knowledge surprised him. Then the memory came. It -was the first clear memory of the time before the Earthquake that -he had experienced. It was a single memory-picture, devoid of all -connections, devoid of any real meaning. He was in a room. The walls -were padded and the floor was padded. He had come there for exercise. -It was--it was a gymnasium. You fought with Kedaki maces in this -gymnasium, but see? see? they were not real maces. They were padded -instead of spiked and if you swung with all your might you could -possibly knock your antagonist senseless as you would in Earth-style -boxing, but nothing else. And, in the memory, Matlin usually won. - -Also in the memory, Matlin's skin was the tan-white of Earthmen! - -"Wait!" he blurted, and silence fell like a shroud on the large room. - -Felg and the lowborn named Ranmut were squaring off with the maces. -Felg snapped, "Well, what is it?" - -Again the shroud of silence. Padded maces, thought Matlin. It was a -memory, a vague, troubled, unclear memory. Perhaps I was very good with -padded maces, but in their padding they did not hold death, the kind of -death this man Felg had delivered with spiked maces and would deliver -again.... - -"Well, come on, man, come on!" shouted the overwrought Felg -impatiently. Ranmut merely looked at Matlin, neither glad nor sorry -for the temporary reprieve, awaiting the end which a five thousand year -old fabrication told him was merely the beginning. - -_Forever we die!_--these were the first words of the _Book of the -Dead_. But--to live again? The writers of the book had lied, for they -hadn't known. No one had known, thought Matlin. - - * * * * * - -The Sirian whisky roared through his veins. His vision clouded, then -cleared. "I am Matlin," he said. - -A Kedaki nearby gasped and Felg cried: "The Reborn! You dare to call -yourself that?" - -"That is no name," Ranmut whispered, his voice strange. - -"I am Matlin, for the record you must keep," Matlin told Felg, his -words dropping like peals of thunder on the silence in the great room. -"I am bigger than this man Ranmut and I can use the mace. I challenge -you, Felg." - -Felg appraised him, then said, "Later, if you have a grievance. But I -don't know you, Matlin." - -"No! Now. I wish to take Ranmut's place." Don't think, he told himself. -Don't think that in the memory your skin was white as an Earthman's. -And don't think that you fought with padded maces only. - -A voice called: "It would be far fairer." - -Other voices took it up, and Felg's beautiful woman companion turned -and looked coolly, then with quickening interest, at Matlin. She smiled -at him and it was a smile like consuming flames. She said, with a -laugh, "Oh, Felg! Poor Felg, you're in for a fight now." - -Ranmut stared at Matlin. Someone pushed Ranmut forward and Matlin took -the mace from his hand. He patted the little man's shoulder because -Ranmut still looked dubious, and then someone cried a warning. Matlin -barely had time to realize it was the woman, and then--from the corner -of his eye he saw Felg charging! - -Felg came so swiftly that Matlin barely had time to whirl and face him. -Felg came like a rocket, his big brutal face contorted with hatred. -Felg came with a wild bellow meant to stop Matlin dead in his tracks. -Felg came with a rush and the rush spelled death. Then Felg swung his -mace. - -All this happened in a split-second. Matlin threw himself to the floor, -lacking time to bring his own mace around to parry the unexpected -attack. The mace blurred by inches over his head as he went down and -he realized that it would have split his skull like a ripe melon had -he still been standing. Spike-studded, it crashed into the side of the -bar, splintering the richly-grained hardwood as if it had been a flimsy -sheet of wickerwork. - -The spikes caught and held in the wood, but with a wrench of his hand -Felg got them loose before Matlin could climb to his feet. Felg swung -again, putting his whole body behind the blow. He swung downward and -the deadly head of the mace splintered the floor as it had splintered -the hardwood bar. It had been so close that some of the spikes caught -in Matlin's tunic. When he scrambled upright, he was half naked and -there was a welt from his armpit to the bottom of his ribcage. - -He swung his own mace, but Felg caught it expertly with the haft of his -weapon, twisting suddenly and almost tearing the mace from Matlin's -grasp. Then Felg advanced with a lightning-swift series of short, -jolting blows from his weapon. Matlin took them all on the haft of his -own, but his hands ached with the shock and his arms grew numb. Across -the room he reeled before the powerful onslaught. Sparks leaped between -the maces as they struck; the sounds were of a smithy in hell. - -Felg was big, powerful. Matlin knew he must summon memory to survive -the attack, for already his arms dragged so wearily he barely could -hold the mace crosswise in front of him with both hands to take the -rain of blows. Something he must remember ... had to remember ... must -bring forth to save his life.... - -He fell abruptly to one knee, and the Polarian tourist woman gave a -little scream of terror and enjoyment. Leering, sweat streaming from -his face, Felg brought his mace up for the _coup_. And Matlin dropped -his other knee to the floor. - -Felg's face spoke mutely of Felg's knowledge of the move, but the heavy -mace already swung down and could not be checked. It blurred across -Matlin's shoulder, the spiked head splintering the hardwood floor -behind him. For an instant, Felg leaned over him, wrenching at the mace -helplessly and exposing his middle. - - * * * * * - -Slowly, aware he had all the time in the world, Matlin brought his own -mace up. I'm going to kill this man, he thought. I can kill this man -now. I merely have to drive the head of the mace against his abdomen, -ripping through the wall of muscle to the quivering viscera beneath. -He will scream, the blood will flow, the mace will fall from his -nerveless fingers, and they will hail me here as hero. But I have saved -the man Ranmut's life, so why should I kill this one? The thought -astonished him: it was no Kedaki thought.... - -Symbolic of his triumph, he placed the head of his mace against Felg's -belly and pushed. The big Kedaki stumbled back, the wind driven from -him. He collapsed on the floor and his mace, still spikefast in the -hardwood, quivered there. Matlin walked to it, braced both feet, -strained his back, and drew it clear. Then he took both maces and -returned them to the _melgast_. - -"No! No!" screamed Felg, his breath returning. "Kill me! Kill me, you -fool!" - -Ranmut said, but quietly, "Kill him, lord. He would have killed me. He -expects to be killed. Otherwise, his honor dies. Kill him, lord." - -Matlin looked at the barkeep, who shrugged and held his silence. The -faces of the crowd told him nothing. And Felg's woman? She had no love -for Felg: she was Felg's companion for the night, no more. She wore the -look of a Sphinx on her beautiful face and when she saw Matlin watching -her the smile she turned on him was a smiling of the mouth only. Her -eyes were cold and distant, but beautiful. - -Matlin took one of the maces from the _melgast_. The spikes held blood, -and bits of scraped skin and flesh adhered to them. So this was the -mace Felg had used, for blood had been drawn from Matlin's ribs. With -this mace, Matlin walked to the man he had conquered. Felg had not -risen from the floor. He sat there and he looked up at Matlin, who made -no move to use the mace, and he said, his voice a tight whisper now, -barely audible, "Will you kill me? I can't stand the waiting." - -"I read somewhere," Matlin heard himself saying, "that at the moment -before death life is so precious that a man will crave it even if it -is a life of torment on torment, a life of torture, a life of terrible -pain. But life, any life, rather than the black sleep of death. Life as -a slave, and toil without end, and streaming sweat mixed with blood, -but life! This I read, but of course it was not on Kedak, for here on -Kedak death means nothing. Well, does it?" - -"Kill me now," said Felg, uncertainly. - -Matlin lifted the mace slowly. "Here on Kedak, how can death hold such -terrors? Death is not the unknown. Death is not a sleep of forever, a -sleep without waking, or the unproven expectation of sharing a dream of -immortality with the god. Death here on Kedak is merely a way station -in the passage of life, many lives. So why should we fear death? You -believe this, do you not? Believe the transcripts from the _Book of the -Dead_ as our religious teachers read them?" - -"I believe," said Felg quickly, without passion, without conviction. - -The mace was high over Matlin's head now. The crowd came close, -watching. Someone touched the single mace remaining on its hook, and -the mace swung slowly. The swinging motion caught Felg's eye and he -watched, fascinated. But the mace was out of reach and he must have -known it. Everything but death was now out of reach, forever out of -reach. - -"That death is not a cold sleep from which there is no awakening?" - -"Yes, yes!" - -"That reincarnation will come to you?" Why am I doing this, Matlin -wondered. It was to prove a point: but he knew not what point he wished -to prove. - -"Yes, yes...." - -"That the loss of life is to be suffered before the loss of honor?" - -"Yes. By the holy pages of _The Book of the Dead_, kill me!" - -"All this you believe?" - -Light caught the spikes of the mace. They flashed. Someone had to carry -the Polarian tourist to a chair and settle her there. Sweat made her -clothing cling to her body, revealing a figure like a sow's. Sweat -beaded her face, but her ugly little eyes gazed on Matlin as if he'd -made love to her. - -"State your belief," said Matlin. - -"Kill me." A barely audible whisper. - -"State your belief, Felg." - -Felg's eyes riveted on the mace. His face was gray. His eyes pleaded -with the mace, as if cold metal, death-dealing metal, might heed the -message Matlin would not. Silence was a wall between this room and the -rest of the world. - -And Felg screamed, "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" - -His eyes blinked. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he rolled over -to fall on his knees before Matlin. "If you had killed me at once," -he sobbed bitterly. "If you would have killed me. Damn you, I don't -believe, I don't believe...." - -"Then live," said Matlin indifferently, all at once not caring if Felg -lived or died. - -A roar went up from the crowd of extra-Kedaki, but the Kedaki -themselves were sullen. Highborn like Felg, they also did not believe -in reincarnation. They saw themselves on the floor, craven before what -seemed to be a lowborn member of their race, lives spared and honor -destroyed. - -The beautiful woman who had been with Felg took Matlin's elbow. -"They're ugly now," she said. "You'd better get out of here." - -"What difference does it make to you?" - -"Difference? No difference. Felg is a fool and you gave me pleasure." - -"Come with me," Matlin said on impulse. - -It was very hot outside and for the first time when they reached the -street Matlin knew that he had been close to death. - - - - - CHAPTER VI - - -"Listen," said Matlin. "You don't have to come with me." - -"You told me to." - -"That was before." - -They had walked a long time through the hot damp stillness of the -Kedaki night. They had not spoken. Matlin's thoughts drifted aimlessly; -the woman was content to share his silence. - -"Listen," he said again as they passed the bright glowing lights of -the Junction City bus depot, where the big gas-turbine-driven busses -snarled as they turned out of the streams of traffic. "I'm going -somewhere." - -"You're walking, yes." - -"I don't mean that. Somewhere. And I don't even know your name." - -"It's Haazahri. Where are you going?" - -Matlin said, "Balata 'kai." - -"The ruins of the First City? Why in the world...." - -"I don't know why. It doesn't matter why. Something in me says go there -to open the tombs of memory." - -"You don't have memory?" - -"The Earthquake," said Matlin. "I remember nothing before it." - -"Well, you can't go to Balata 'kai." - -"You don't have to come with me." - -"I didn't mean that. It's against the law." - -"Since when?" demanded Matlin. - -"Since the quake. Until they are rebuilt, the ruins are no place for -tourists. Until they are rebuilt, the ruins are a fine place for -thieves. Since the records of the birth of our civilization are among -those ruins, the police have orders to kill any trespassers. That's why -you can't go. Is it terribly important to you?" - -"I feel that it is. I don't know why. As if--as if something's waiting -there for me." - -"You shouldn't tell me. I'm supposed to report you. I--" - -"Will you?" Matlin asked indifferently. - -"I will not," said Haazahri promptly. "I'll go with you." - -Matlin shook his head, bemused. He couldn't believe his ears. His -troubles were his troubles. Why should the beautiful Haazahri accompany -him? Why should she want to? - -He asked, "Why?" - -"Because you gave me pleasure." - -Matlin felt disappointed. "You enjoyed the beating Felg got? You -enjoyed his shaming?" - -"No, I don't mean that. It's your name and how ... how you live up to -its suggestion of heresy. Religion is a good thing on other worlds, -Matlin. I have spoken with people. On the planets of Antares, where the -folk accept with choice a pantheism of total godhood, that is good; on -Earth, where several religions freely proclaim the worship of a single -great deity under different names, that is good. But don't you see, -here on Kedak--but of course, you see. The point I make is, you say -what you believe. If another...." - -"But I don't believe. I'm an iconoclast." - -"If another feels as you do, but says nothing...." - -"You, Haazahri?" - -"I. And so you give me pleasure. You're a strange man, Matlin, but a -brave one. If you lost your memory, is Matlin a new name you have given -yourself?" - -"Yes." - -"I wonder," Haazahri mused, looking at him and smiling. She was a tall -woman, her face almost on a level with his own. She stared frankly into -his eyes, boldly, still smiling. "I wonder if you have any family, if -you are married...." - -"I'm a long way from home," Matlin said abruptly. - -"Now, what does that mean? What is your mind trying to tell you?" - -Matlin shook his head in wonder. "The words--just came!" - -Haazahri was still smiling. "No, you wouldn't be married." - -"Why not?" - -"Because," said Haazahri, "until this day you hadn't met me." - -"Haazahri, listen...." he began. - -"Don't start that again. I'm coming with you to Balata 'kai." - -"Haazahri...." - -But she swung to him abruptly, clutching his tunic and drawing herself -close to him. "Matlin," she breathed tremulously. "Matlin, love...." -They were in the pleasure district of Junction City, the lights a mad -whirl-and-flash, the crowds noisy, drunken, unconcerned. - -They stood together, as stone. But the blood boiled in their veins, and -their hearts were not stone. - -"Haazahri," he said. Then he kissed her. - - - - - CHAPTER VII - - -Gawroi's office at Kedaki College was furnished home-style with low -benches and a central mat rather than chairs and a desk. The home-style -furnishings, in their simple beauty, were not popular here on Kedak. -Typical, thought Gawroi angrily. For five thousand years home-style is -good enough for the Kedaki. For five thousand years no muddle-brained -agitators question the value of home-style, its beauty or its function. -Then a wave of false galactic brotherhood sweeps Kedak and the big, -ungainly desks and chairs clutter more offices every day, so a man -finds it difficult to move about without striking his body against some -sharp edge or other. - -And emotionally? Emotionally it is the same. The Kedaki religion -is--the Kedaki religion. The cornerstone on which the world-spanning -structure that is the edifice of Kedaki culture rests. The womb of -knowledge and the sum of knowledge. But--questioned now. Doubted -secretly by some among the highborn, as if they get a masochistic -satisfaction from believing their gods are false and their -fifty-generation belief in metempsychosis an attempt of their own class -to keep the lowborn in servitude. Why, it was ridiculous! - -"Come in, come in, my dear fellow!" Gawroi boomed, motioning his -visitor to one of the low benches. "So you are Felg." - -"I came as soon as I saw your announcement," Felg said, seating himself -uncomfortably on the low bench. - -"Tell me about it, Felg. What you said by phone, it could be very -important." - -Felg licked his lips nervously. "You realize I'm not usually an -informer, but when I saw that the Chairman of the Department of -Archaeology at the College and the police were both seeking this -Matlin...." - -"The police were not my idea," Gawroi growled. And they weren't, but -not for the reason he would have this Felg think. If the Five Bureau -decided to ring in the police, he supposed that was the Five Bureau's -business. But the police might make Matlin--the Earthman Rhodes, he -was sure--wary. "Now, then. You say you know the whereabouts of Matlin?" - -"I think so." - -"May I ask, Felg, why you...." Gawroi let his voice trail off, hoping -Felg would interrupt him. And Felg did. - -"Why I inform on this man? Because it is my duty as a loyal Kedaki, as -a servant of my world and the world-idea which governs us, through five -thousand years, from Balata 'kai." - -"Good," said Gawroi. "Now tell me." - -"Last night the man Matlin took a bus to Haatok." - -"The northern outskirt of the city?" - -"Yes, Haatok. This was as close to Balata 'kai as public conveyance -could take him." - -"He's going to Balata 'kai?" - -"The bus was night darkened. I was on the bus. I got off the bus at -Haatok, as he did. He was in the company of a woman named Haazahri." - -"Haazahri," said Gawroi, writing the name down. "Go ahead." - -"On the bus, he and the woman Haazahri spoke softly, but I heard some -of their words. In the morning, that is, today, they were going to -Balata 'kai." - -"Why? Did they say why?" - -"I failed to hear them. Why do you want this Matlin?" - -"Isn't his illegal entry into Balata 'kai enough?" - -"You didn't know that," said Felg, "until I told you." - -"I'll ask you a question, Felg. Why did you want to inform on Matlin?" - -"I already told you...." - -"And I'm asking again. What were your personal reasons?" - -"I have no personal reasons." - -"Well, not that it matters." - -Felg said suddenly, "You want to kill Matlin, don't you?" - -"Eh? What's that?" Gawroi, startled, looked down at the reclining man. -He had an impulse to kick the smirking face. Then he calmed himself -with an effort and said, "But that's ridiculous! I have reason to -believe that the man who calls himself Matlin is actually an Earthman -named Rhodes, a victim of amnesia, suffered in the quake. Rhodes was a -colleague of mine, you see, and...." - -"I hate Matlin!" Felg said in a soft but hate-filled voice. "There's a -brother to my hate in this room, I know there is, and nothing you can -say will hide it. But don't you see, Gawroi? You don't have to tell me -about your hatred. You can keep it secret. The important fact is, you -hate. You want to kill this man. I hate him. I want to destroy him. I -hate that man." - -"Rhodes...." began Gawroi mildly. - -"Rhodes? All right, all right, Rhodes. Maybe Matlin _is_ an Earthman -somehow wearing purple skin. I don't care. It means nothing, nothing. -Together, if we can find Matlin out there, in Balata 'kai...." - - * * * * * - -Gawroi was thinking: perhaps I can use this man's hatred. Because now -that the Five Bureau had seen fit to call in the police, it was very -dangerous. The police could be a problem. The police did not work -secretly. Whatever the police did would be open to public scrutiny. So, -if the police caught Matlin-Rhodes, he might escape with his life--and -even his secret. The secret! The knowledge Matlin-Rhodes carried -around in his head, lost to the world, lost even to himself--that was -important! - -Rhodes had said it was _The Book of the Dead_. The real _Book of the -Dead_. Now, Gawroi and any loyal Kedaki knew better; it was not _The -Book of the Dead_; it was a fantastically clever forgery; and it could -bring the multiple hells of uncertainty to Kedak if Rhodes were given -the chance to find where he had hidden it and the chance to make its -contents public. Rhodes had told him about it. "_The Book of the Dead_, -Gawroi," he had said, before the quake. "I'll tell you about this holy -of holies of yours, Gawroi, and if I'm irreverent, I can't help being -irreverent. Man, look around you! Must the lowborn remain lowborn, -with no chance to better themselves, generation after generation? Do -you really need human footstools to support the soles and heels of -your vanity? They thought so for five thousand years, and they gave -you a legacy. They gave you _The Book of the Dead_, with its lies and -exaggerations and fabrications and deceit. Reincarnation! The writers -of that book didn't know anything more about reincarnation than I do! -But the lowborn swallowed their story for five thousand years. Well, -it's time this stopped...." - -And Gawroi had said, "What's it your business? You, an Earthman?" - -"Sure, I'm an Earthman," Rhodes had answered. "But I'm a scientist -first. I seek the truth, Gawroi, and I've found the truth. It won't be -hidden much longer." - -"Hidden?" Gawroi had asked incredulously. "It's hidden?" - -"Hell, yes, it's hidden. Don't you think I know the score? I'd be -beaten if necessary, for possession of that book." - -Beaten was an understatement. The next day, Rhodes had been imprisoned. -His mistake, Gawroi thought coldly, was confiding in me. I was a fellow -scientist, though, and men like Rhodes make much of the scientific -fraternity. Well, I'm a scientist second, a Kedaki first. - -And now, this. Now Felg. Through Felg and with Felg, he could perhaps -get to Matlin-Rhodes before the police. And make sure that the false -_Book of the Dead_, and its forger, were not allowed to poison the -minds of a whole people. - -He asked Felg, "Why didn't you go to the police?" - -"At first," Felg said, "I thought I would go to the police. There in -Haatok, though, I changed my mind. Listen, Gawroi: I reasoned that if -the police wanted him and you wanted him too, then your reason must be -more than merely academic. And, while this Matlin spent the night in an -Haatokian inn with the woman Haazahri, I told myself: Gawroi's the man -for you. Go to Gawroi because neither your personal reason for hating -Matlin, nor his, need bow before the will of the police. The police, -capable but indifferent, might bungle. But Gawroi and yourself--" - -"That's enough," said Gawroi. "I see what you mean. Felg listen to me. -If we do this thing together, if we join forces, my motives must never -be questioned." - -"Nor mine." - -"Good. Very well, Felg. I hate this Matlin. And you--you want Matlin -killed?" - -"Killed," echoed Felg. - -"One promise. He is not to be killed until he leads me to something." - -"Where? We can't be chasing all over Kedak." - -"In Balata 'kai, probably. That's why he went there." - -"Is he really an Earthman named Rhodes?" - -"I believe so. Does it matter?" - -"It doesn't matter to me. But it might matter to the police." - -"Exactly. You haven't told anyone else?" - -"No." - -"And the woman with Rhodes? Haazahri? What of her?" - -"You leave Haazahri to me," Felg said. - -Gawroi shook his hand, regretting the need for the Earth-style gesture -which had swept the galaxy. He had an instinctive dislike for Felg, -but thought Felg just the man to help him, just the man to join him -at Balata 'kai, just the man to see to it that Matlin-Rhodes never -returned to Junction City alive.... - - - - - CHAPTER VIII - - -Balata 'kai! - -Even the word was like heady wine. - -Balata 'kai! - -Where, five thousand years ago, civilization--and a lie--had been born -on Kedak. Where now the ruins were ghostly in the early dawnlight, -standing like grim sentinels against the still dark sky, silhouetted -there on the limestone crag above the floor of the desert. - -"Would you believe it, Matlin," Haazahri said, "I'm a native of -Junction City, but I've never seen the ruins of Balata 'kai?" - -"Sure. It's like that all over. Only the tourists are interested in -what makes where you live famous," Matlin said, and smiled. He was -happy. He felt happy for the first time since his accident. The woman? -She was part of the reason, but not most of it. Did he love her? He -hardly knew, and wouldn't press it yet, not until he remembered. -Because it wasn't fair either to Haazahri or whatever he was, whoever -he was, in lost memory. - -It was Balata 'kai. He belonged here. Somehow, he could sense that. The -navel of his people, was that the reason? Because any Kedaki would -feel at home where the world-idea that governed his planet had been -born, fifty centuries ago? - -But not Matlin. Matlin was an iconoclast. Matlin did not believe, -Matlin wished to smash idols, Matlin wished.... - -Did he? He didn't know what he wished. He'd come here on an impulse. -Idol-breaker? But why? And what idols? - -"Look," he said, pointing at the limestone crag. There was something at -once ineffably serene and tumultuously exciting about the five thousand -year old slabs and columns perched there. There were stories they could -tell, stories of generations long turned to dust, stories of the past -and how, from the past, the present came, child of history, buffetted -by forces it only half-understood, the helpless, passionate, living -present, the moment for which, whether we admit it or not, we all live, -ephemeral, hardly palpable, thrilling and then gone, dead, history, the -navel for tomorrow which is today.... - -"It is beautiful," Haazahri said slowly. - -A wind stirred, swirling little puffs of sand at their feet, their -clothing, even their faces. The sun was very hot already and would be -much hotter soon. Dazzling white Deneb, far brighter than Sol.... - -Sol! - -But Sol was the day star of the planet Earth, remote on the other edge -of this small filamental arm of the galaxy. So, why Sol? Look at your -skin, Matlin. Matlin, the Reborn! Proud, insolent name! But look at -your skin. Gaze on it. You're Kedaki. Of course you're Kedaki. What -else could you be? - -"Have you ever been here before?" Haazahri asked. - -"Yes, I think so." - -"Probably it's why you wanted to come." - -"I've been here. I know I have, Haazahri. Many times. Straight ahead, -there, see where I'm pointing? There used to be a staircase there, -carved in the living rock. For tourists to climb to the top, to see the -ruins. See the jumble of rocks now? We'll have to climb, but it won't -be like climbing stairs. We'll--" - -"Get down!" Haazahri cried suddenly, and threw herself at him, and bore -them both to the sand, where they lay still. "Where you were pointing," -she whispered. "Look, but don't turn your head. Don't move. Someone's -up there." - -They were a hundred paces from the base of the limestone crag, obscure -in the dimness of its early morning shadow. The crag was perhaps -another hundred paces high and at the top, where the three tallest -columns of Balata 'kai stood, piercing the sky for half the height of -the crag or more, a figure was marching. - -"Police," whispered Haazahri. "Has he seen us?" - -"No," said Matlin. "It's dark down here. We're all right, I think." - -"There is treasure in the ruins," Haazahri told him. "It's what the -tourists come to see mostly. But since the quake, the ruins are -off-limits. Thieves have been out here in the dark of night, defiling -the temples and...." - -"Defiling?" - -"Defiling, if one believes." - -"Do you believe, Haazahri?" - -"You're a strange man, Matlin. We're down on our bellies in the sand, -hiding from the police, and yet you ask a question like that. I--I -don't know if I believe or not. I believe a people need something, some -faith...." - -"Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you believe that every poor craven -lowborn, if he leads a meek, servile life, will be rewarded in a fresh -incarnation by moving up a rung in the social ladder? Do you believe?" - - * * * * * - -Slowly, Haazahri shook her head. "No," she said, confusion in her -eyes. "I never could admit it to myself before, Matlin. But you have a -way ... you put it so simply. No, Matlin. I don't believe that." - -"Good, because otherwise we would have been defilers." - -"I don't understand." - -"I'm not sure I do, either. But we're going up there. We can work our -way up among the rocks, when the guard is out of sight. We can--" - -"It will be dangerous." - -"I have to chance it. You don't." - -"I'll go with you. I already said so, Matlin. But why will we be -defilers?" - -"Because there's something up there. Oh, I don't know what. Something, -though. Waiting for me. My head, Haazahri! My memory! As if I've been -sundered, disembodied, and part of me is up there. I--I had it once, -this thing. I had it, and lost it. No ... wait. _I had it, then hid -it._ It was something--dynamite, Haazahri. Something so explosive that -I didn't know what to do with it but knew I must do something. Like -playing with fire, the memory says." - -"What kind of fire?" - -"Fire for the Kedaki. Cultural fire. Idol-breaking, iconoclastic...." - -"But you don't remember what?" - -"No." - -"And the way you speak of us, The Kedaki. As if you, as if -you're--alien." - -Matlin said nothing. His head ached with the half-thoughts, the -dream-thoughts. The wind had died down and he breathed deeply of the -clear hot morning air. When he looked up and saw the ruins of Balata -'kai silhouetted against the brightening sky, he could see nothing of -the guard. - -"Come," he said, and stood up, helping Haazahri to her feet. She leaned -against him for a moment, the maiden suppleness of her ripe against his -thews and chest. He held her and she breathed against his ear, touching -the lobe of it with her lips. "I love you, Matlin," she said. "Whoever -you are, whatever you are. You know that, don't you?" - -"Haazahri," he said, pushing her away gently. "You may only hurt -yourself. I don't know. I don't know! I can't say anything, can't think -anything of that, until I know. My name is not Matlin. I don't even -know my name." - -A faint, wistful smile played about her lips as she said, "All right, -lead on to what's left of that staircase of yours." - -They took half a dozen strides toward the base of the limestone crag. -Limestone. On the desert, with little water to erode it, how long would -limestone endure? A dozen eternities, thought Matlin, and more. Balata -'kai--forever.... - -Suddenly, he was running. Something had moved in the shadow at the foot -of the cliff. Since it hadn't called out, whatever it was, he hoped -that it would not. He ran silently, swiftly. - -He reached the spot. There was nothing. He gazed around. The shadows -were dark. - -Something just above his head made a sound. A pebble was dislodged, -dropped on his shoulder and to the sand. He did not look up. On his way -he'd seen a ledge there, its flat surface at about the height his hand -could reach. The ledge, narrow, barely wide enough for a man to stand -on, would not be empty now. - -His hand blurred up at it, grasped something which yielded, then -struggled. He tugged and a voice pleaded: "Lord, I'll fall!" - -With a yank, he pulled the man off the ledge. He had hold of the man's -ankle, then let go of it, and leaped on the man when he had fallen to -the sand. There was a brief scuffle, and he had the man by the throat. -He let his hands go loose for a moment and hissed: - -"Who are you?" - -"Please, lord. I mean no harm." - -"Who are you?" - -Just then Haazahri came up. "Why, I know this fellow," she said. "And -so do you, Matlin." - - * * * * * - -He looked again. It was a woe-begotten face, meek, homely, the eyes -terror-filled. Its owner said, "I am Ranmut the lowborn, lord." - -"Ranmut!" Matlin cried. - -"Yesterday you took my place and won, though why you did not kill Felg, -I do not know." He grinned hopefully when Matlin's fingers did not -return to his throat. "Lord, I came seeking you." - -"You followed us all the way out here from Junction City last night?" -Matlin asked, amazed. - -"It was the least I could do. You saved my life, lord, and while the -life means nothing, is but one pathway among many, nevertheless this -lowborn like many has a family and even if I go on to a higher pathway -that wouldn't help my wife and children, who probably would have -starved. Therefore, lord, am I thankful." - -"You followed just to tell me this?" - -"No, lord. Last night Felg was very angry. When you left the bar with -this lovely lady, Felg came after you." - -Matlin looked at Haazahri. She nodded, said, "He would." - -"All the way to Balata 'kai?" Matlin asked. - -"Not this far, lord. The man Felg came as far as Haatok." - -"Don't tell me you were on the same bus with us?" - -"Yes. And Felg also. Then, last night, after reading the newspaper, -Felg rushed back to Junction City. I have saved the newspaper, lord," -Ranmut said proudly. - -"Saved it?" - -"I took the liberty of following Felg back to the bus station. He -deposited the newspaper in a trash receptacle. He had marked something." - -"Let me see that," Matlin urged as he heard the rustle of paper. Ranmut -spread a crumpled sheet before him on the sand and he saw that a small -part of the first column was circled in red. - -He read, his heart thumping against his ribs: "... professor of -archaeology at Kedak College. Ser Gawroi believes this Matlin to be the -missing Earth scientist, Philip Rhodes. While the police maintain that -Rhodes is harboring some unspecified material deemed not in the best -interests of Kedak, Ser Gawroi would not comment on this. 'Rhodes,' the -archaeologist said, 'was a colleague. If Rhodes is sick and needs help, -we'll have to find him.' - -"No reason was given as to why the alleged Earthman was seen in the -streets of Junction City last night, to all appearances a native of -Kedak. His name, according to Gawroi, is Matlin. If anyone has any -knowledge of...." - -Then Haazahri took the paper and read it. She returned it to Ranmut, -her hand trembling. "Do you know Gawroi?" she asked Matlin. - -"No." - -"An Earthman? Do you think that's what you are--purple skin or not?" - -"Don't look at me like that," Matlin said, smiling. "Earthmen are human -too. Just as human as Kedaki." - -"I know, but--" - -"Yes, I think I'm an Earthman. I think I'm this Philip Rhodes. I--" - -"Oh, Matlin! Then you remember?" - -"No, but there have been other things--no time to go into them now...." -Quotis, he thought. The Arcturan doctor. There had been no mention of -Quotis, but there should have been. It was as if the Kedaki authorities -and this Gawroi wanted to ease Quotis out of the picture, and Matlin -did not like that. Why? Why shouldn't Quotis have been contacted? -Quotis knew more about Matlin than anyone did. Gawroi disturbed him -more than the police. He sensed that he knew the Kedaki archaeologist. -Besides, if Gawroi's purpose for finding Rhodes had not been sinister, -wouldn't he seek Quotis for whatever help the Arcturan could offer? - -"It means something to you, lord?" Ranmut asked, indicating the -newspaper. - -When Matlin answered, his words were addressed to Haazahri. "Tell me, -would your friend Felg go to the police or to this Gawroi?" - -"Felg would avoid the police if he could. Do you trust this Gawroi?" - -"No," said Matlin promptly, not bothering to give his reason. - -"Then you think Felg and the archaeologist are now in league against -you?" - -Matlin nodded, grasped Ranmut's shoulders. "Ranmut," he said, "I don't -have to tell you you've done enough for us already. You came all the -way out here to help, and--" - -"I have done nothing, lord. Last night you saved my life, for my -family." - -"Do you wish to stay at Balata 'kai?" - -"We lowborn are told Balata 'kai is a frightful place," said Ranmut, -shaking his head dolefully. "We lowborn are told it is most dangerous -for us to approach this shrine." - -"And still you came," Matlin marveled. "Will you leave now?" - -Ranmut shuffled his feet in the sand. "I'll stay if the Lord Matlin -wishes." - -But Matlin shook his head. "By all means go back." - -"If the Lord needs me--" - -"No, you can deliver a message for me in Junction City. In the Arcturan -hospital, to a Dr. Quotis. Tell him that his patient Matlin is seeking -his lost memory at Balata 'kai. Show him the newspaper article and say -for certain reasons Matlin does not trust the archaeologist Gawroi. -And tell him Matlin has not gone to the police because first he must -find something which the police don't want him to find. Ask Quotis to -contact the Earth authorities in Junction City, if he thinks that best. -You'll do this?" - -"Of course, lord," Ranmut said simply, and bowed. - -"And don't do that. Don't bow. You're a man, Ranmut. You're as good a -man as I am, or Felg, or anyone." - -"Yes, lord," said Ranmut doubtfully. He smiled shyly at Haazahri, then -Matlin offered his hand and Ranmut shook it solemnly and trudged back -across the sands on his long walk to Haatok. - - * * * * * - -Ranmut was in luck, for a bus was just arriving that would soon take -him back to Junction City. He jingled the few remaining denebs in his -pocket thinking, proudly, that he had not asked Matlin for money. He -owed the strange-talking highborn Kedaki this much: he would defend the -message to the alien Quotis with his life if necessary, and it seemed -ridiculous to ask money for it, even for the bus fare to Junction City. - -He stood in the dusty throngs on the raised sidewalk alongside the bus -while its passengers stepped onto the ramp, stretched themselves and -claimed their baggage. Suddenly, he froze. Two men came through the -wide bus doors together. The very large man he did not know, but the -reasonably large one he did. The reasonably large one was Felg and -Ranmut turned away quickly, trying to push his way through the crowd. -But Ranmut was a small, slender man, and arms, legs and bodies could -easily detain him. It was very hot there, and he began to sweat. He -felt the sweat streaming from his face, dampening his armpits, coursing -down his sides and flanks. He pushed and struggled in the pressing -crowd, and the ranks of the indifferent, as if in league with his -enemies, closed in. - -"Careful, lowborn!" an indignant Kedaki woman chirped, and Ranmut -offered her an obsequious smile, then helplessly felt the surging -crowd, pushing forward now to find seats on the bus, turning him so -that he faced Felg and the man who must be Gawroi. - -The two highborn Kedaki were just alighting from the bus, their feet -touching down on the section of the ramp which had been roped off for -disembarking passengers. Gawroi said something, and Felg answered. -They were very close. They were far closer than Ranmut had realized. -Then Felg pointed and his finger, unwavering, speared air in Ranmut's -direction. Ranmut tried to make himself very small. Sweat beaded his -brow, stung his eyes. He wanted to disappear into his mean clothing. -Felg pointed again and walked quickly with Gawroi to the rear of the -crowd, where Ranmut lost them. - -Several minutes later, the crowd had swept him to the doors of the -bus. He held his three denebs overhead in one wet hand, waiting for -the conductor to exchange them for a ticket to Junction City. Heads -taller than his were everywhere. He could not see the conductor. Then -something plucked the three denebs from his hand and a smile of relief -lit his woe-begotten features momentarily. He expected to feel the bus -ticket thrust between his fingers, where he would clutch it almost -lovingly. It did not matter that the bus was already crowded and he -would have standing room all the way back to Junction City. It mattered -only that Felg had not pointed in his direction, that by now Felg and -the archaeologist Gawroi were gone from the depot, and.... - -A hand closed on his elbow. A voice hissed in his ear: "This way, -Ranmut." He knew the voice, and despaired. It was Felg. - -They took him quickly from the bus station and thence across the hot -dusty streets of Haatok to a small hotel where a sleepy-eyed desk -clerk admitted them, gave them a big brass key and went back to doing -absolutely nothing and wishing he could do less without even seeing -their faces. Ranmut wanted to scream out for help, but the hotel clerk -would be no help at all. Ranmut allowed them, Felg and the man Gawroi, -to lead him upstairs to a small, dingy room with scabbing walls and a -dirty floor and a faintly foul smell. Gawroi, who had held his elbow -all the way from the bus station, flung him across the room as Felg -shut the door. He fell on the bed and he did not weigh much, but the -bed collapsed under him. At another time, it would have been very funny. - -"What are you doing in Haatok?" Felg snapped. - -He got up. Felg pushed him and he fell on the mattress and remained -there. - -"What are you doing in Haatok?" - -He was not glib. He had never been glib. He could think of absolutely -no answer, no fiction to substitute for the truth. He remained silent. -Something rustled as he leaned uncomfortably on his left side. It was -the newspaper with the circled article. If Felg found that, Felg would -know. So, Felg must not find it. He shifted his weight to that side, -trying to cover the telltale edge of paper protruding from his pocket. - -"What are you doing?" Felg said. - -He rolled over. The paper rustled. He wanted to scream. - -Felg took hold of his arm and dragged him to his feet. The other man, -Gawroi, merely stood and watched. Felg was going to get the newspaper, -Ranmut knew. He broke away and ran toward the door. Felg stuck his foot -out and Ranmut fell over it headlong, skidding across the dirty floor -to the door, where he lay in a heap. Directly in front of his face was -Gawroi's large shoe, the toe under his chin. But Gawroi's shoe did not -move. - - * * * * * - -Felg reached down and got the newspaper. His face became dark with -blood when he saw it. He pulled Ranmut to his feet and shook the paper -before his face and bellowed, "Where did you get this?" - -"In the bus depot, lord." - -Felg thrust Ranmut back toward the broken bed and showed the newspaper -to Gawroi. "I marked it. It's my paper," he admitted. - -"That was clumsy of you, wasn't it?" Gawroi said. He had a powerful -voice, but there seemed to be very little concern in it, as if whatever -happened hardly mattered to him at all. "So now Rhodes knows you're -after him." - -"You think this slave told Rhodes?" - -"Look at him. Dust-covered. Can't you see he's been on the desert, -Felg? Can't you see anything?" - -"Yes," Felg grumbled. "Then what can we do?" - -Instead of answering, Gawroi said to Ranmut: "You realize we can do -with you as we wish. No one knows we brought you here. The hotel clerk -saw nothing. What sort of errand are you running for Rhodes?" - -"Who," said Ranmut, "is Rhodes?" - -"For Matlin." - -Ranmut said nothing. - -Felg growled, "We can break the bones in your body one at a time, you -fool!" - -"Yes, lord," said Ranmut meekly, speaking to gain courage from the -sound of his own voice. - -"But we won't do anything of the sort," Gawroi said. "Why should we? -Listen." - -A rumbling sound could be heard in the street. It became a growl and -then a loud smooth purr of power. "The bus to Junction City," Gawroi -said. "The only bus. What can this fellow do here in Haatok." - -"He can go to the police." - -"Who are seeking Matlin? Don't be ridiculous." - -"Well, I don't trust him." - -"Did I say I trusted him? But it doesn't matter, if he's quite -helpless." - -"Alive, he isn't helpless." - -Gawroi said, "Violence satisfies a certain need in you, doesn't it? Do -you want to hurt this little fellow? Is that what you wish? I have no -interest in the matter, but I am ready to go to Balata 'kai." - -"Alive, he isn't helpless," Felg repeated. - -Ranmut did not let the relief show on his face. Words now, just words. -They were going to let him go. And somehow, for the first time in his -life, he wanted to live. It was very important that he lived. He had no -wish to die. Because he did not believe? In truth, he could not tell -himself that. Because he had always been a good man, if a lowborn, and -had no desire for reincarnation if the highborn were men such as Felg -and Gawroi? Something of that passed through his mind, but it was not -altogether clear. I'm going to live, he thought. After all, I'm going -to live. And he allowed himself the luxury of a slow smile. The smile -dropped from his face when Gawroi said: - -"All right, Felg. Do as you wish. I won't interfere with your pleasure. -But I'm going downstairs. I'm renting a sand-car to take us to Balata -'kai. I'll meet you outside." - -"Alive, he--" - -"Don't try to rationalize it for my benefit. Do as you wish. I have -utterly no interest in the matter." Gawroi gave Ranmut one final, -utterly indifferent look, and left the room. That look told Ranmut his -doom was sealed. - -He was small and weak and Felg was a strapping, strong highborn. Felg -said, when the door shut, "You had an extra day of life, for you should -have died by my mace." - -Ranmut said nothing. - -Felg said, "Are you happy? You probably led a life exemplary for its -lack of significance, as a lowborn should. You ought to be happy--your -next incarnation will be a higher one." - -"Please kill me if you are going to, lord," said Ranmut. - -"Don't you believe? Aren't you glad for the chance to die? What have -you to live for?" Beads of sweat stood out on Felg's forehead, and -Ranmut did not understand. - -"Kill me, lord. I won't resist, I won't prolong it." - -"Then you do believe?" demanded Felg softly, passionately, his fingers -closing on Ranmut's frail throat without applying pressure. - -"No, lord," said Ranmut. "I do not believe." - -"You've got to believe in reincarnation!" Felg screamed. - -"I no longer believe." - -"You must! Don't you see, you must?" - -"I only know that my belief fades like the leaves in autumn in deep -southern climes." - -"Believe!" screamed Felg. - -This was all madness to Ranmut. He waited for the fingers to tighten on -his throat, to constrict there. But they did not. - -"Believe!" The hands uncoiled, made weak fists and beat without -strength against Ranmut's chest, beat beseechingly. "I need your -belief!" Felg screamed, and, when next he spoke, he was sobbing with -bitterness and fear. "I need your belief, please oh please, I need it -to make my own belief strong. I need it, I need you, Ranmut, please, -you've got to believe, because you're a lowborn and you have nothing -to live for and if you don't believe then surely I, I can't believe -either and that leaves nothing.... Ranmut, Ranmut, I don't want to die, -Ranmut...." - -Despite everything, Ranmut felt himself engulfed by waves of pity. He -said, softly, "But you're not going to die, lord." - -Felg hit him and his eyes and nose stung, the hot blood trickling -from his nostrils. Then Felg sobbed and did not look at Ranmut again. -Sitting on the broken bed, Ranmut watched the big man lumber, sobbing, -from the room. - -Outside, a horn blew. Gawroi was waiting and Ranmut sensed that if Felg -were weak, Gawroi was strong. Together they were going to Balata 'kai -after Matlin and there was nothing that he, Ranmut, could do to warn -his friend that danger and possibly death was approaching across the -sun-scorched sands. - - - - - CHAPTER IX - - -The walls glowed. - -They had come a long way, Matlin and Haazahri, through tunnels carved -in the soft, limey rock under the Balata 'kai ruins. The last signs -for tourists had long-since vanished behind them and the way would -have been totally dark but for the strangely glowing walls. Matlin -went confidently at a dog-trot. Occasionally he stopped while Haazahri -rested, and she saw the look on his face and never questioned him. - -He knew where he was going, without knowing how he knew. But he had -been this way before--seeking ... no, hiding. He had found something in -the ruins, in an airtight box which had preserved it as if it had been -left there yesterday and not five thousand years ago, and he had come -this way to hide it, because it needed safe-keeping until he was ready -for it.... - -If he could only find it! - -For he knew that it held the key to his memory. A blow on the head, the -Arcturan physician Quotis had told him once, was not enough to destroy -memory. The blow was merely a trigger. Unconsciously, the victim of -amnesia wanted his memory destroyed, to forget something intolerable, -to hide something.... - -To hide something. Prison. Dark, wet walls. Torture. Subtle -psychological torture. He held out, but couldn't hold out much -longer. The fire, the beams falling, the horrible burning. And -gladly surrendering memory because, miraculously, he had not died. -Surrendering memory to hide--what lay before him in these caverns! One -look, he thought as he ran, leaving Haazahri momentarily behind, and it -will all come surging back like the sea at ebb tide. One look and I'll -know not merely what it was I hid here, but the secrets of myself as -well. - -"Haazahri," he said. - -Abruptly he stopped. He was here and the walls glowed and he could see -but needed no vision for this. - -"Haazahri," he said again, and she came up to him. "We're here, -Haazahri," he said. - -The passage looked like all the others. He'd led the way to it -instinctively and knew that if he lost whatever instinct had guided his -feet, they would be lost in this labyrinth forever. But it did not seem -very important now. What was important had been hidden here, in this -cavern. - -"Where?" Haazahri asked. "Where is it, whatever you seek?" - -He touched the wall near her head and she heard a shifting, a grinding -of heavy stones. Part of the wall swung slowly to one side, revealing -a dark recess, a niche with walls that did not glow. Matlin thrust his -hands within the niche and took out a large, heavy book with a black, -unmarked cover. When he got it clear of the niche, he looked at it a -moment in the glowing cavern light and his eyes grew big and round and -the book dropped from his hands to the floor of the cavern. He stood -there, clutching his head with his hands and Haazahri cried: - -"What is it? What happened, Matlin?" - -The pain of returning memory thrust at him like a sharp knife, but was -not intolerable. He remembered! He remembered! - -"Rhodes," he said in a dream. "My name is Rhodes. Phil Rhodes, and -I'm an Earthman. They took me and they tortured me and I was going to -break. I must have known it, subconsciously. So I welcomed amnesia, as -the one way I could not reveal where I had hidden this. I had revealed -once the fact that I'd found it, to Gawroi, before I told the Earth -authorities. The Earth authorities still don't know, but when they do -know, when they see what has been found...." - -"But what is it?" Haazahri asked him. - - * * * * * - -He stooped, picking up the book. "Earth doesn't want to dictate to your -people, understand that. You are a sovereign people. But if in your -sovereignty a small percentage of you have used lies and fabrications -to enslave fifty generations of your people, and if Earth decides to do -something about that...." - -"But what is it?" - -With both hands, Rhodes held the big book over his head. His face shone -with triumph and he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, "_The Book -of the Dead_, Haazahri." - -She looked at it, and at him. Then abruptly she fell to her knees and -touched the floor with her face. "_The Book_," she said. "_The Book?_ -You mean that?" - -"Haazahri, listen. You're important. You're very important. I knew it -would be dangerous coming here. Maybe, instinctively, that's why I let -you come with me. Because you're so important. You're a Kedaki, don't -you see? With a Kedaki's reactions. I know about this _Book_. It's -sacred. It's had five thousand years in hiding to become sacred. Even -your rulers today probably didn't know where it was. Excerpts only, -key passages out of context, remained from the days the book had been -hidden, remained to keep most of the Kedaki enslaved, chained to the -lies of metempsychosis. - -"I know, Haazahri. I know what it must be like. This book is the center -of everything you believe. Your loves and dreams and hopes. Right now -you must be telling yourself you ought to remain there, forever, your -face in the dust before it. _The Book of the Dead_, Haazahri! Well, the -_Book_ is lies, do you understand? Lies! And I can prove it, the Earth -scientists here on Kedak can prove it to all your people. Listen to -me, Haazahri. This book doesn't explain the wonders of reincarnation, -as you thought it might. No, Haazahri! Although, out of context, what -material your leaders had might indicate that it did. - -"This book is a book of instructions for the ruling classes of Kedak, -through the unborn generations. The lies are explained, codified, -systematized. There is no doubt, nothing left to interpretation. Keep -them base, the book says. Keep them base and promise them a better -life in their next incarnation, and they'll obey you. That's the -cynical message of _The Book of the Dead_, Haazahri! Don't you see -the difference between this and the true religions, in their many -forms, of the other worlds? Yes, good behavior is rewarded, and -should be rewarded. But what is good behavior for the Kedaki lowborn? -Good behavior is merely servitude, slavery. And the reward which the -slave-masters hold out is one which, in the beginning, in this book, -they did not even believe themselves. It's a fiction, Haazahri! And -they say so. They say so here. Do you believe me?" - -For a long time Haazahri did not answer. When she did, her voice was -choked with sobs. "You ... you're an Earthman. You brought me out here -to ... test me with _The Book_ and see ... not because you wanted -me ... not because you love me. Matlin, Matlin...." - -Rhodes said, "Stand up, Haazahri, and show me your face. Stand up, -Haazahri, and let me kiss your tears. And don't cry, Haazahri. There -isn't any reason to cry. Yes, I'm an Earthman. But I love you, -Haazahri; I love you--" - -She stood quickly and somehow he could sense that five thousand -years of dogma and superstition were slipping away as, in time, with -the passing of a generation perhaps, and with the understanding and -patience of the rest of the galaxy, they would slip away for all of -Kedak's peoples. She stood up boldly in the face of _The Book_, but -seemed shy. She said, "Then Matlin is no more?" - -"I am Matlin and more than Matlin. Matlin was only a part of me. But -you can call me Matlin, if you wish. All our lives." - -"Do _you_ wish?" - -"It is not my name." - -"Philrhodes?" - -"It is customary," he said, smiling, "to use one half or the other." - -"Phil? Phil?" she breathed tremulously, and came into his arms. Then, -after a while, he tucked _The Book of the Dead_ under one arm and her -hand under the other and started on the long trek back toward the -sunshine. - - * * * * * - -Daylight was very bright, dazzling them. - -"There they are!" a voice shouted, and Haazahri screamed: - -"It's Felg!" - -Rhodes said, "Watch the _Book_," and flung it to one side. They had -come out into the daylight on the high limestone crag which jutted -above the desert floor and Rhodes as yet could see no more than shadows -against the fierce sun. The shadows came apart and one went toward -Haazahri and the Book, and the other toward Rhodes. Tears sprang from -Rhodes' eyes in the effort to see. Neither man was armed. It seemed -right, somehow, that they battle for the _Book_ which had been born -with the birth of a civilization, with their bare hands. - -Then he was closing with Felg and heard Haazahri scream and knew the -noise of their fighting would summon the guards, who would take the -_Book_ from him. - -"My life!" screamed Felg hysterically. "You destroyed my life!" - -The words meant much to Felg, but meant nothing to Rhodes. Felg was -mad--and strong with the strength of madness. - -He forced Rhodes slowly back, and back meant toward the edge of the -precipice and Rhodes got a quick vision of it as he was spun around, -the world down there, far down, the tiny sand-car gleaming in the -sun and the long stretches of sand and far away the huddle of stone -structures that was Haatok gleaming in the sun. And then, still being -forced back, he saw Haazahri, sprawled on the sand before one of the -three great columns of the ruins of Balata 'kai. Blood trickled from -her mouth and she was not moving. Of _The Book of the Dead_ and Gawroi -he saw nothing. - -Then his own madness matched and surpassed Felg's own. Haazahri, he -thought, Haazahri. His hands found Felg's throat and held there a -moment, but not long. He shifted them and got Felg's weight up and Felg -screamed a thin sound in the high air and then he sent Felg's body -hurtling down, the scream fading, over the precipice. - -He did not wait to see it land, but ran to Haazahri. He touched her -breast and she was warm, warm! her heart beating.... - -"Haazahri," he murmured. - -Her eyelids fluttered. "Go after him! Quickly, for he has _The Book_. -I'll follow." - -He whirled and sprinted for the broken, ruined staircase on the side of -the cliff. Down it he went, tumbling, falling, sliding from rock-ledge -to rock-ledge. The staircase, what was left of it, turned and twisted, -and he could not see Gawroi below him. - -When finally he hit the hot sands of the desert he saw Gawroi's figure -ahead of him. Gawroi, running swiftly, and _The Book_! Heading for the -sand-car, swift, swift-- - -And if Gawroi won the race, a people would remain in bondage. How long? -Another five thousand years? - -Gawroi looked over his shoulder once, redoubled his efforts. The sand -was hot and the wind whipped it at Rhodes' face, but he was closing -the gap rapidly on the ponderous Gawroi. Still, there was no time. -The distance was too great.... Gawroi stumbled, rolled over, lost _The -Book_, clutched it and began running again. Rhodes was closer, closer-- - -And Gawroi flung himself into the sand-car. - -The engine growled, caught. The wheels spun in the sand, tractionless -at first. But soon their big treads gained traction, and the car leaped -forward with a surge of power. - -Defeat.... - -But the car spun around, bore down on Rhodes. At the last moment he -realized what Gawroi was attempting. He knew too much and Gawroi wanted -to kill him. - -Gawroi was going to run him down. - -The car came screaming across the sand at him, whine of tires and whine -of over-heated motor and Gawroi's grim face, growing, growing.... - -Rhodes flung himself aside, then leaped. His hands caught the side of -the open car, clung there even though it felt as if his arms would be -wrenched from their sockets. He had a quick glimpse of a dot which was -Haazahri working her way down the staircase on the side of the cliff -and another--a guard--pursuing her. Then he pulled himself up into the -sand-car and was grappling with Gawroi. - - * * * * * - -They fought, and the wheel was forgotten, the car lurching from side -to side across the sand. The cliff blurred ahead of them. How fast -were they going? Seventy miles an hour? Eighty? If they struck at that -speed.... - -Gawroi was a man possessed. He didn't care. If the crash would destroy -_The Book of the Dead_, destroy Rhodes, who knew of _The Book_, it was -enough. - -Rhodes pushed flank against flank in the narrow front seat of the open -sand car. Gawroi's hands tore at his face, ripping skin and flesh. All -Gawroi needed was a few seconds, and it would all be over. Gawroi, who -was fighting for an idea, fighting to preserve a five thousand year -lie. And Rhodes, who was fighting that a people might live, after five -thousand years.... - -Abruptly Gawroi tumbled from the car, clawing at air and screaming -before he hit the sand at terrible speed, rolling and tumbling and -coming to rest with his head at an impossible angle. - -Then Rhodes was battling the car, and for a time which seemed extended -over a yawning gap of infinity, he did not know if he would be able to -bring it under control in time. The base of the cliff loomed. He could -not see above it. He stamped on the brake and still the cliff blurred -at him. He felt himself flung forward.... - -And gazed at the wall of rock, two feet in front of the now motionless -car. - -In a daze, he watched Haazahri climb in beside him. Close by a guard -was shouting something; in the car, Haazahri was saying something about -his cut and bleeding face. - -The guard would find Felg, his body broken from the fall; would find -Gawroi, his neck broken. The guard would summon help. - -But by that time, Rhodes knew, _The Book of the Dead_ would be in safe -hands. Ever since the earthquake, thieves had been looting Balata 'kai. -They were thieves in the eyes of the guard, only that. There was no -reason for special pursuit and, in Gawroi's sand-car, they would reach -Junction City. - -And the pages of _The Book of the Dead_ would be flung open for all the -worlds to see. A generation might pass before the Kedaki could assume -their rightful place in the civilized community of worlds, a generation -in which the kind of thinking that had put Rhodes in a prison cell must -be stamped out. - -But in the end, the Kedaki would know freedom, and a mingling with the -peoples of the other worlds. - -He started the sand-car. Haazahri smiled at him, and kissed his -bleeding face. And the love between him and this girl of the Kedaki was -a symbol.... - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOREVER WE DIE! *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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H. Thames</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Forever We Die!</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: C. H. Thames</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: November 26, 2021 [eBook #66825]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOREVER WE DIE! ***</div> - -<div class="figcenter x-ebookmaker-drop"> - <img src="images/illusc.jpg" alt=""/> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<p>Rhodes faced the agonies of alien torture<br /> -because he knew the secret which held an entire<br /> -world in bondage. It was a secret proclaiming—</p> - -<h1>Forever We Die!</h1> - -<p>By C. H. Thames</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -August 1956<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>The guard spat in Phil Rhodes' food bowl, closed the grate, and trudged -away down the stone-walled corridor.</p> - -<p>Darkness returned to the narrow, coffin-shaped cell. Rhodes reached -for the bowl of gruel. It was tepid, not hot. The cell was very cold. -In the square of light admitted briefly when the grate had been -opened, Rhodes had seen the big, unkempt guard's breath, a puff of -smoke on the cold air. He had also seen the guard hack spittle into the -bowl of gruel.</p> - -<p>It was no whim on the guard's part. Rhodes grinned wryly, and realized -he was doing so, and encouraged his facial muscles in the act. Nothing -around here was a whim. Absolutely nothing. It was all part of a plan, -and the purpose of the plan was to break Rhodes.</p> - -<p>Given: one Earthman.</p> - -<p>Problem: to degrade him by subtle psychological torture.</p> - -<p>Purpose: a big, fat question mark which, by itself, was almost enough -to drive Rhodes crazy.</p> - -<p>He ate the gruel. He held his breath and got it down somehow, got it -down because he had to.</p> - -<p>It had been some time since the last question period, and Rhodes -expected to be summoned momentarily. Why me? he thought for the -hundredth time. That was part of it, too. Why Rhodes? He was only a -student at the Earth University at Deneb III, here on Kedak now—that -was Deneb IV—to do field work in extra-terrestrial anthropology. And -the Kedaki had come for him one night, how long ago? Rhodes had no -idea how long it was, and that was part of the plan too. His sleep was -irregular, usually disturbed by one or another of the guards as part -of the overall pattern of psychological torture.</p> - -<p>Rhodes began to shiver. It was growing suddenly cold. Naturally, that -was no accident. The cell was very small and so shaped that Rhodes -could neither recline fully nor stand up without jack-knifing his -spine. Obviously, he couldn't engage in much physical activity to keep -warm. The Kedaki knew this: it was part of the maddening plan.</p> - -<p>Rhodes shook with cold, felt the skin of his face going numb, heard his -teeth chattering. The abrupt cold now was his entire universe. He made -an effort of will—you're warm, he told himself, you're warm. His lips -took on that peculiar numb puckering sensation which meant, he knew, -that they were blue with cold. He felt a welcome lethargy, then, as -if the terrible cold were a bed of repose, the most comfortable, most -wonderful bed he'd ever had. He wanted to sink back in it, surrender to -it.</p> - -<p>If he did, if he surrendered to the blood-freezing cold, he would die.</p> - -<p>No, he told himself. That was wrong. They wanted him to think he would -die. But it was out of the question. If they'd wanted to kill him, -there were easier ways. What they wanted was a state of mind. They -wanted terror, a simple animal fear of death.</p> - -<p>You're not going to die, Rhodes told himself. They need you—for -something. They're very good at making you think so, but you're not -going to die.</p> - -<p>A sudden blast of hot air belched into the freezing cell.</p> - -<p>It was Turkish-bath hot, and it dissipated the cold at once. It was -stifling. Rhodes, who was sitting awkwardly because the cell was -constructed for minimum comfort, opened his mouth and gulped in the -hot, wet air. His lungs needed more oxygen; his head was giddy with the -need; his pulses throbbed.</p> - -<p>He sank into a troubled sleep, shoulders propped against rough stone. -He slept for half an hour while the unseen vents in the cell poured -heat on him.</p> - -<p>There was a grating sound, and footsteps. Something hard prodded -Rhodes' back. He opened his eyes. The heavy boot struck again, thudding -against his kidney. He rolled away from it.</p> - -<p>"Crawl out of there," the guard said in Kedaki.</p> - -<p>Rhodes, who was a student of the Kedaki civilization, understood the -language perfectly. But even if he had not, the tone of voice was -unmistakable. Rhodes crawled toward the grating on his hands and -knees. The roof of the cell was so low, he could barely crawl. It was -more a slithering motion. Part of the treatment, Rhodes told himself, -able to bear it better because he understood. Part of the process of -degradation. Turn a man into an animal, and he'll do whatever you wish.</p> - -<p>"More questions?" Rhodes asked in Kedaki when he stood up outside the -cell, stretching the cramped muscles of his back, shoulders and legs.</p> - -<p>"What do you think?" the guard replied, and prodded him forward down -the brightly lit corridor.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The room was very clean. It was spotless, possibly antiseptically -clean. That, too, was part of the plan. For Rhodes' cell was filthy. -Rhodes' clothing was stiff with his own foul sweat. Rhodes' skin itched -with encrusted dirt.</p> - -<p>"Sit down," the Kedaki said politely.</p> - -<p>Rhodes sighed. This was the polite one. He had two interrogators, one -cruel, brutal, harsh, the other as polite and suave as the rustle of -silk. To keep Rhodes guessing....</p> - -<p>He sat down across a metal desk from the interrogator. The man was, -Rhodes judged, in his thirties. He had the faintly purple skin of the -Kedaki—not really purple, but as purple as the skin of an American -Indian is red. He was slightly built, smooth-skinned, almost beardless. -His eyes were very friendly but somehow very deadly.</p> - -<p>"You have been here three months," he said conversationally.</p> - -<p>"Three months! Yesterday, they told me...."</p> - -<p>"Yesterday? Indeed? And how do you know it was yesterday?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I thought...."</p> - -<p>"You see, you have no way of knowing."</p> - -<p>"But three months! You haven't even told me why I'm a prisoner. If I -could just make a call," Rhodes said, his voice rising to an almost -hysterical whine although he attempted to keep it level. "Just one call -to the Earth Consul...."</p> - -<p>"Mr. Rhodes," the interrogator said softly. "You are a student, merely -a student. I do not say this deprecatingly, but merely to point out -that you are not a servant of your government and as such shouldn't -undergo torture because you consider it the, ah, patriotic thing to do. -How old are you, Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"I'm twenty-one," Rhodes said.</p> - -<p>"A very young man, but stubborn."</p> - -<p>"Listen!" Rhodes cried, his voice rising out of control again. "I don't -even know what you want to know! Every day you change your questions! -And every day you change how you react to my answers. I don't know what -you want! I think you're crazy, all of you!"</p> - -<p>"Do you really think so?"</p> - -<p>"No," Rhodes admitted in a subdued voice.</p> - -<p>"I will tell you something, Rhodes. We Kedaki are experts at -psychological torture. You know that, don't you, as a student of our -culture? Yes?—good. Eventually, we get what we want. Since no Kedaki -fears death because he knows he will be reincarnated—"</p> - -<p>"You <i>say</i>."</p> - -<p>"No Kedaki doubts this fact. Other creatures are not reincarnated, but -the Kedaki are. As a consequence, the Kedaki are fearless. The fear -of death does not exist for us and therefore, the fear of pain and -violence is also minimized. The Kedaki, as you know, make wonderful -soldiers. I tell you all this only to prove that we are the galaxy's -most adept practitioners of psychological torture, as a necessity. I -tell you all this only to save you further trouble."</p> - -<p>"But I still don't know what you want."</p> - -<p>"Nor will you, ever. Even when we are finished with you. I'll tell you, -Rhodes. We want the answer to one question. We are asking you hundreds. -When we break you completely, when you answer every question the way we -want it to be answered, you will answer the one important question. Are -you ready?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Rhodes.</p> - -<p>"What do you mean, no?"</p> - -<p>"Because I can never tell in advance whether you want the truth or -lies. Because either way I give myself a hard time. Look: just ask me -the one question. Maybe I won't mind answering it."</p> - -<p>"You'll mind. Besides, when we're all finished here, we don't want you -to know. What kind of work do you do, Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"You know what kind. I already told you, fifty times."</p> - -<p>"What kind of work do you do, Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"I'm a student of extra-terrestrial anthropology at Deneb University, -doing field work here on Kedak...."</p> - -<p>"Good."</p> - -<p>Good, thought Rhodes. They're accepting the truth today, not rejecting -it. He settled back in his chair and answered the unimportant initial -questions almost automatically. His family back on Earth. Mother, -father, younger sister. What he thought of Deneb III and the university -there. Why he wanted to be an extra-terrestrial anthropologist. Exactly -what kind of field work he was doing on Kedak.</p> - -<p>"Reincarnation," Rhodes said. "At least, a planet-wide belief in -reincarnation. It's unique in the galaxy, as far as we know, and it -sets the pattern for Kedaki civilization."</p> - -<p>"You are making a planet-wide study?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes shook his head. He'd been asked these questions many times -before, but it was the subject he loved and he felt himself warming to -it. "Not a planet-wide study," he said. "Just this city. Just Junction -City. But if you can learn how a sweeping social institution controls -one center of population, then...."</p> - -<p>"I'm sure," the interrogator said dryly.</p> - -<p>"Besides, there are the ruins outside the city."</p> - -<p>"Indeed, there are the ruins."</p> - -<p>"Because an anthropologist is interested in the history of his subject -as well as its merely ephemeral present. And there are those who -believe that the Balata 'kai ruins hold the origin of your belief in -metempsychosis...."</p> - -<p>"Do you, Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. Yes, I do."</p> - -<p>"Have you found anything to fortify this belief?"</p> - -<p>"I have."</p> - -<p>"What have you found?"</p> - -<p>"The Balata 'kai <i>Book of the Dead</i>. Oh, it isn't a book, really. It's -some tablets—five thousand years old."</p> - -<p>"You have seen these tablets?"</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Rhodes.</p> - -<p>"Where?"</p> - -<p>"The Temple of the Golden Dome, Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"They are there now?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Rhodes. "I took them."</p> - -<p>"You took them where?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I hid them."</p> - -<p>"Where?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes grinned. "I'm not going to answer that," he said. He was -thinking. Prolong the interview, Phil old boy. Because it's clean here, -and neither too warm nor too cold, and you can sit comfortably or stand -if you want to.</p> - -<p>"Why aren't you going to answer it?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes grinned again. "I realize this isn't very important to you...."</p> - -<p>"Everything is important to me while I do my job."</p> - -<p>"But it's very important to me, I was going to say. Because <i>The Book -of the Dead</i> is an anthropological find, that's why. Because I intend -to have an exclusive on it until I've finished my work here."</p> - -<p>"What makes you think <i>The Book of the Dead</i> isn't very important to -us?"</p> - -<p>"Don't tell me," Rhodes said incredulously, "that I'm in jail and being -tortured because I won't tell you where I've hid an anthropological -curiosity which may not even be genuine!"</p> - -<p>"No, I won't tell you. Now, as to the genuineness of <i>The Book of the -Dead</i>...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Rhodes felt suddenly sleepy. He'd been awakened to come here. He was -always awakened to come here, sometimes after what he thought was a -full night's sleep and sometimes after what seemed only a few moments. -He listened sleepily as the interrogator went on, surprisingly doing -most of the talking. He hardly heard the words, had all he could do -to keep his head from slumping down on the desk. It just wasn't very -important. It was preliminary to what really mattered, to the questions -about Earth history, sociology, engineering, economy, which always -followed.</p> - -<p>But why me? Rhodes thought. My subject is extra-terrestrial -anthropology....</p> - -<p>"... therefore, Rhodes," the interrogator was saying, "<i>The Book of -the Dead</i> is not only the oldest known written document on Kedak, but -also, clearly, genuine. Do you agree?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes stood up and paced back and forth. The interrogator permitted -this, even encouraged it. There was neither room to stand nor to pace -in Rhodes' cell, a fact which made it difficult for Rhodes to do -anything but cooperate completely with his interrogator. Well, why -shouldn't I cooperate? he thought. If I cooperate, they'll let me out -of here. Let me out of here? No, how can they do that? They're holding -an extra-Kedakian illegally, and they know it, and I know it, and they -know I know it. My God, Rhodes thought suddenly, are they going to kill -me when they're finished with me? It seemed the only logical outcome of -all this.</p> - -<p>"... population growth of the Earth colony on the planet Mars?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes supplied the answer, knowing it was one you could find in any -textbook on the Martian colony back in the solar system. All this, he -thought, for what? Because Kedak is resisting its incorporation into -the Galactic League? Because the Kedaki rulers want to be left alone, -fearing that their doctrine of reincarnation will be discredited by -intercourse with other worlds?</p> - -<p>But the one maddening question remained: why Rhodes?</p> - -<p>"... titanium deposits on the moons of Jupiter?"</p> - -<p>"Sorry," Rhodes said, "I don't know the answer to that one."</p> - -<p>At that moment, the room shook.</p> - -<p>Trained since his imprisonment to expect the unexpected, Rhodes thought -it was part of the treatment. But the interrogator seemed surprised.</p> - -<p>There was a deep rumbling which seemed to rise up from the very -bowels of the planet. The room shook again. Rhodes felt himself flung -violently across it, colliding with the far wall. The interrogator's -head slammed against the metal desk, then the interrogator stood up, -blood on his face.</p> - -<p>"Guard!" he cried. "Take this man back to his cell at once!"</p> - -<p>The room shook a third time, plaster sifted down from the ceiling, and -a big crack appeared over Rhodes' head. Through it he saw daylight—the -first daylight he'd seen in three months, if he could believe the -interrogator.</p> - -<p>"Guard!" screamed the interrogator, his composure gone.</p> - -<p>Kedak was, Rhodes knew, an earthquake-prone planet. All young worlds -were, and Kedak was a young world. Was this, then, an earthquake?</p> - -<p>The room swayed, tilted. Rhodes staggered uphill back to the desk, -clutching its edge for support. Underfoot, there was a rolling, booming -sound. You could not merely hear it, you could feel it. It rolled on -from a long way off, coming closer every second, like the distant boom -of a thousand cannon fired at split-second intervals.</p> - -<p>The door opened, and the guard stood there. The interrogator pointed -at Rhodes, shouting something which was swallowed completely by the -rolling, booming sound. The guard shouted something back, unheard in -the noise, then walked toward Rhodes.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>He never reached the Earthman.</p> - -<p>The room rocked. The floor came up suddenly, jarringly, and the ceiling -came down.</p> - -<p>The guard stood there, a look of horror on his face. Not fear of death, -Rhodes found himself thinking in the final few seconds. The Kedaki, -believing in metempsychosis, did not fear death. But the choking, -blinding fear of any man a split-second before personal catastrophe.</p> - -<p>Then, literally, the ceiling fell.</p> - -<p>The guard pivoted slowly, as if he had all the time in the world to -return to the door. He took one small step and the ceiling hit him. -It came down not in one sheet but sectionally, Rhodes found himself -thinking with amazing objectivity, because—see?—the guard is being -struck now, but I haven't been touched....</p> - -<p>The guard fell, and the ceiling crumpled on top of him. Rhodes saw the -guard's head, very close to the floor, bent at right angles to his -body, which was stretched out and hidden by the shards of plaster and -stone. There was a worm of blood trickling from the guard's nose. His -eyes were opened wide, but the eyeballs had rolled up in the sockets.</p> - -<p>The interrogator screamed, and Rhodes heard the sound faintly above the -thunderous booming before the tons of plaster and stone came down on -both of them.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER II</p> - - -<p>He stood up.</p> - -<p>I'm dead, he thought. How can I be standing, if I'm dead?</p> - -<p>It was dim, but not completely dark. He breathed deeply, and gagged on -plaster dust. He heard a siren distantly, and the brisk, businesslike -sound of flames crackling nearby.</p> - -<p>A pile of masonry covered the broken, battered desk. Automatically, he -groped behind it. There was someone there. They had been talking, he -remembered.</p> - -<p>He found the man, a Kedaki. Am I a Kedaki? he thought. He did not -know. He remembered nothing about himself.</p> - -<p>Shock, he thought reasonably enough. You've been through hell, so just -calm down and it will all come back to you. The man behind the desk was -dead, his skull flattened on top and pulpy. The man nearer to the door -was also dead, his neck broken. He went around the corpse and to the -door, which opened into the room. He opened it, was driven back by a -wall of flame.</p> - -<p>He slammed the door, but not before his eyebrows were seared. He went -quickly to the center of the room and smelled something like feathers -burning before he felt the pain. Then, instinctively, he beat his -hands against his head. His hair had caught fire. He shouted with pain -and looked up and saw the smoke and the fluctuating brightness of the -flame and by the time he got it out he knew all his hair was gone. -He felt his scalp gingerly. It smarted, but there didn't seem to be -any blisters. Third degree burn—he was lucky. Only for the moment, -he realized. Because the fire was still out there and while the door -seemed flame resistant, it wouldn't resist forever.</p> - -<p>He had to find some other way out of here if he didn't want to perish -in the flames.</p> - -<p>He made a swift circuit of the room. There was no other door. There -were no windows. He was engulfed momentarily by panic, but could still -think objectively. See? he told himself. You're afraid. Afraid to die. -So you know at least this much: you're not a Kedaki, whatever else you -are. For the Kedaki wouldn't fear death, that was sure.</p> - -<p>Returning to the door, he opened it a crack. The flames were dazzling, -roaring, dancing things. He shut the door and felt its surface. It was -uncomfortably hot to the touch. He waited a few moments, listening to -the sounds of the flame and the still-wailing siren. Then he touched -the door again. Unmistakably, it had grown hotter. He stood at the -door and shouted for help, then laughed. Nobody would hear him. And -certainly, nobody could come through the fire to rescue him.</p> - -<p>He made a prowling circuit of the room once more. Nothing.</p> - -<p>Then something stirred overhead. He looked up, and the laughter bubbled -in his throat, almost hysterically.</p> - -<p>Beams and masonry and sky.</p> - -<p>The ceiling had come down. Or, most of it had. There was a way out -and he'd not looked for it, not found it at first, because he hadn't -expected to find it over his head.</p> - -<p>He jumped, came down again. What's the matter with me? he thought. It's -way over my head. I'm acting crazy.</p> - -<p>He looked at the door. It was glowing a dull red now. There was a dry -burning sound. A flame licked through the door tentatively. Got to -hurry, he thought.</p> - -<p>The pile of masonry covering the desk seemed tall enough. He climbed -it, stood there, reached up with his hands. Short, by several feet. -He looked at the door: hungry flames were devouring it. He crouched, -tensing his muscles, then jumped. But the loose-piled masonry offered -no purchase and was dislodged by his feet. The result was that his -groping fingers did not even come close to the beams overhead.</p> - -<p>A second time he tried it, and this time the rubble underfoot shifted -and he was flung to the floor. This won't do, he told himself. This -won't do at all. If you don't get out of here, and get out of here -fast, you're going to be roasted.</p> - -<p>Now the distant siren's wail had come closer. Something rumbled -outside, and the next moment he was deluged with water. By this time -the flames were eating their way along the wall on either side of -the door. They leaped to the rubble on the floor, found something -combustible there, and burned. He began to choke on the smoke and the -steam as water hissed and boiled on the masonry.</p> - -<p>They'd put the fire out, all right, he thought. Eventually, they'd get -it under control. But if I'm not broiled by the flames I'm going to be -boiled in their fire-fighting water, so what difference does it make?</p> - -<p>He tried the desk again, but could not jump high enough. He stood -there, panting with the effort to get enough oxygen into his lungs. The -flames danced playfully around him. The fact that there was so much in -the room that could burn surprised him.</p> - -<p>Once more he jumped. He hardly had the strength to clear the floor with -his feet. His left ankle was numb and when he came down he knew he -would not be able to jump again.</p> - -<p>That was it. He'd burn.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A crafty look suddenly came into his eyes. You're hysterical, he -thought, and was right. But it didn't matter. He got down on hands and -knees, then on his belly. Cooler near the floor, he told himself, still -smiling craftily. You're outfoxing the fire, old boy. You crafty devil. -Close to the floor, he could breathe. But it was hot, and the flames -circled him, expectantly, it seemed, as if they had burned through the -entire prison just for a chance to get at him.</p> - -<p>Tentatively, a tongue of flame licked at his arm. He brushed it away -as you would brush an insect away. It came back, playfully. It hardly -seemed to hurt but he screamed anyway.</p> - -<p>When the fire was finally brought under control, they found him. His -skin was red and blistered where it was not black and crisp. His prison -uniform had been consumed completely by the flames, as had all his -body hair. Miraculously, he was still alive. It was a slow, irregular -heartbeat and they did not expect it to last long, but dutifully they -took him to the aid station.</p> - -<p>He was lucky there.</p> - -<p>Among the doctors on duty to treat the thousands of victims of the -Junction City earthquake was an Arcturan named Quotis. Now Quotis, -unlike the Kedaki, had a high regard for human life. For Quotis did -not believe in reincarnation since Quotis was not a Kedaki. The other -doctors looked at the burned thing which had been a man and shook their -heads and one of them said, "It doesn't matter, my friend," patting -Quotis on the back and winking at the others. But Quotis, shrugging, -replied, "The man is still alive and if he is alive it's my job to keep -him alive." The Kedaki physician pointed out that there were bones to -set elsewhere, and states of shock to be treated, and lacerations to -mend, but Quotis would not hear of it.</p> - -<p>The case intrigued him. The man should have been dead, but was still -living. Besides, he was a Kedaki, wasn't he? And the Kedakis held death -in very little regard. Therefore, Dr. Quotis told himself happily, -he would be able to practice his new theories of skin rebirth on -the injured Kedaki. But he had to hurry because a loss of half the -epidermis was usually fatal, and this Kedaki had lost all of it to -either first or second degree burns. Why, you couldn't even see the -faintly purple tint of the skin anywhere....</p> - -<p>If he died in the treatment? Quotis shrugged. No approved of treatment -could save him. Still, on most civilized planets the answer would have -been no. But on Kedaki? On Kedaki it was different. Smiling and eager, -Quotis gave the order that took the dying man to a hospital near the -aid station. Of native Kedaki hospitals, of course, there were none. -Firm believers in metempsychosis, the Kedaki did not waste time and -effort keeping moribund people alive. The injured, yes: but the injured -could be treated, as the situation demanded, at aid stations like the -one set up after the Junction City earthquake.</p> - -<p>The hospital which Dr. Quotis took his patient to was the Arcturan -hospital in Junction City, an institution made necessary by the fact -that many Arcturan nationals lived on Kedak, particularly in Junction -City, which was not only a native but an interplanetary trading center.</p> - -<p>While the patient was made ready, Quotis thought: You cannot graft skin -on a man with no skin left. For the only effective graft is that of a -man's own epidermis—or that of his identical twin, should one exist.</p> - -<p>Then why couldn't you supply brand new skin tissue? thought the -Arcturan happily, utterly involved in his scientific detachment. -Impermanent, of course. But that didn't matter. It would keep the -patient alive and would stimulate the growth of new skin before it -sloughed off. Say, a month. One Kedakin month. The new skin would be -identical with the artificial skin and not with the patient's former -epidermis, but that didn't matter. Too bad I don't even have a picture -to go by, though, he Arcturan thought. Perhaps there is a mole or -some other blemish which, foolishly, he would want reproduced. Well, -no matter. At least the faint purple pigmentation of the Kedaki is -easy to make, yes, very easy. Now an Arcturan with his vivid orange -skin would be something else again, Quotis admitted, or an Earthman -with the subtle gradations of pale tan. But those could come later. It -would be enough, for now, to save this one life with the revolutionary -development in skin regrowth.</p> - -<p>"Patient is ready, doctor," the orange Arcturan nurse said.</p> - -<p>"Still alive?"</p> - -<p>"For the moment, yes."</p> - -<p>"You give him...."</p> - -<p>"Only a few minutes, I'm afraid."</p> - -<p>"Then we must hurry," said Quotis, and rushed into the operating room.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER III</p> - - -<p>"How do you feel?" Quotis asked.</p> - -<p>"Still stiff," said the patient.</p> - -<p>"But otherwise?"</p> - -<p>"Otherwise fine. They told me how you saved my life, doctor," the -patient said in Arcturan.</p> - -<p>"I'm still surprised how well you speak my language."</p> - -<p>"I seem to have a gift for tongues. I can speak Earthian, Arcturan, -Sirian, Fomalhaution, and naturally, my own Kedaki. All of them with -just about no accent, all of them equally well."</p> - -<p>"We'll be taking the bandages off today. You still don't have any -hair, but that ought to grow back later. You're alive, and that's what -counts. Can you believe that every square inch of your skin surface was -gone when they found you last month?"</p> - -<p>"That's what the nurses keep telling me. Do you think that after the -bandages are removed, doctor, they might find out about me?"</p> - -<p>"We were hoping your memory would come back of its own accord. -Otherwise," Quotis shrugged, "there are other ways. As you can -imagine, thousands of your fellow Kedaki are still missing, after the -quake. Most of them probably will never be found, so there ought to -be thousands of people through here to look at you—when you're well -enough. Never fear, one of them will know you."</p> - -<p>"But the prison office? Doesn't it mean something that I was found in -the prison office?"</p> - -<p>"It might, but the prison authorities report that all their men are -accounted for, safe, killed, injured—none missing. Why, do you -remember working in the prison?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Rhodes, "I don't remember anything."</p> - -<p>"Relax! Please, relax. Someone will know you. Someone will be able to -trigger that memory of yours. Relax, if you will...."</p> - -<p>"There were no marks of identification on me?"</p> - -<p>"No, none. Your clothing was burned off. You were naked as well -as completely skinned," said Quotis, beaming. "Remarkable cure. -Remarkable. On Arcturus, when I return, I will astound the medical -profession. Here on Kedaki, unfortunately, there is no such organized -profession. Well, now, about your new skin...."</p> - -<p>"What about fingerprints?" Rhodes persisted. "My identity may not be -important to you, doctor. But it's important to me."</p> - -<p>"I understand, I understand. I didn't mean to be so callous. But -consider. You have no fingerprints. It will be a while before the -whorls re-establish themselves on your new skin. Immediately after the -operation, before you were bandaged, we took your retinal pattern, but -there was no record of it in the Junction City Identity Center or with -the local police. There is absolutely no way you can be identified, -except through your own memory or the efforts of your Kedaki friends -and relatives to find you. In time, I'm sure everything will -straighten out. Meanwhile," said Quotis, smiling, "if you're ready, -we can remove the bandages from your face. Tomorrow, from the rest of -your body. If there are any imperfections, don't worry. Eventually, the -artificial skin we have given you shall become your old skin again. -I mean that literally. For example, if we have left out—through -ignorance—a birthmark or a mole, it will reappear again after six -or seven months have passed. Your fingerprints will also, as I have -indicated, re-establish themselves. If we have made your pigmentation -too light or too dark, your true color will also appear after some -months.... Well, then, are you ready? Ready for that first look at -yourself? It might help, you know. It might trigger something!" cried -Quotis enthusiastically.</p> - -<p>Even while he was speaking, he had begun to remove the bandages from -Rhodes' face. "The room will be dark," he said. "Gradually, we will -increase the light. Your eyes have been in darkness for a long time."</p> - -<p>"My eyes...." said Rhodes in sudden fear.</p> - -<p>"You are worrying about them? You needn't. They were examined when the -retinal pattern was taken. Miraculously, as miraculously as the fact -that you are alive, your eyes are all right. Now, then, here we are! -See—ummmm, no you cannot see yet. It is dark. There, a little more -light. A little more. The eyes, they are all right?"</p> - -<p>"It seems awfully bright."</p> - -<p>"Any light would, at first. There, a little more. But you are young! -Hardly more than a boy, I should judge. The purple of your skin—yes, -the purple looks fine.... Not a mark, not a trace. My boy, you will not -even be scarred."</p> - -<p>His face still felt stiff, but very cool. The contact with air was very -welcome and the soft stirring of the currents of air as the doctor's -hands did some final adjustments on the bandages which still covered -him from the neck down, tucking them back into place.</p> - -<p>The first thing he saw was the doctor, a small bespectacled man with -the vividly orange skin of a full-blooded Arcturan. The doctor was all -smiles, and understandably. Then he saw a mirror. It was held before -his face and he was aware of the doctor's slight intake of breath as he -waited for a reaction, hoping some forgotten memory might be triggered.</p> - -<p>He looked in the mirror. "I—I'm purple!" he gawked.</p> - -<p>The doctor frowned. "Of course, purple. The Kedaki color."</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry. I don't know why it startled me."</p> - -<p>"Well, I can tell you. I am an Arcturan. This is an Arcturan hospital, -and we have been speaking Arcturan. Even if you had been unable to see -until today, you associated everything about this place with Arcturus. -Probably," and Dr. Quotis laughed, "you were expecting orange skin."</p> - -<p>"Probably," said Rhodes, and laughed with him.</p> - -<p>"Well, enough excitement for one day. If you are strong enough, -tomorrow we can have the first of your visitors, people trying to -identify you. I warn you, there will be hundreds, thousands."</p> - -<p>"Any time you say," Rhodes replied eagerly. But behind the eagerness -was a certain vague confusion. Why had the purple tints of his new skin -stirred him so strangely? Purple. Kedaki skin color. What else did he -expect?</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Director of the Five Bureau, the Kedaki Secret Police, said, "Stop -acting like a fool, please."</p> - -<p>"But sir," wailed the prison warden. "I tell you, the Earthman's body -was not uncovered in what remained of the prison."</p> - -<p>"What does that mean?" the Director demanded scornfully. "I have here -the final earthquake casualty report for Junction City—shall I read -it to you? There are over six thousand people still missing, my dear -warden. Six thousand."</p> - -<p>"Yes, I know," persisted the prison official. "But doesn't it seem -strange that of all the inmates and guards at the prison, the Earth -archaeologist alone is missing?"</p> - -<p>"Nevertheless, we can assume that virtually all of those missing are -dead, buried forever under the debris of the municipal disaster."</p> - -<p>"Still, you know how important this Earthman is, what trouble he can -cause...."</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> know," snapped the Director arrogantly, "But do you?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I have been told...."</p> - -<p>"Told! Told what you had to know, told to furnish the Earthman with a -maximum security cell, and so forth. You know nothing!"</p> - -<p>"I still...."</p> - -<p>With a wave of his hand, the Director dismissed the warden. -Then, sitting alone at his desk, he lit a cigarette. It was an -Earth-cigarette, and a good one. These things, the Director mused, we -accept from the outworlders. Their little luxuries. But their way of -life, he told himself, never. Whatever threatens our way of life, we -seek out and destroy. He leaned on a corner of the desk's surface and -in a moment a serving girl came obsequiously into the room with a tray. -Patting her rump playfully, as you might stroke the head of a dog, the -Director selected the bottle he wanted from the tray, indicating that -she should make him a drink. He waited, watching her graceful movements -as she set down the tray and poured the liquid into a delicate glass -of Regan crystal. The drink, heady and delicious, was Aldeberanean -fire wine. He savored it slowly, then with a gesture indicated that -the girl, who wore nothing but a kirtle to cover the nakedness of her -loins, should depart. He leaned back and thought: This too—not the -wine, but the woman.</p> - -<p>Because the woman would be impossible if the Kedaki way of life were -changed. A system, he went on thinking, founded on bedrock as strong as -the pull between the planets.</p> - -<p>Metempsychosis....</p> - -<p>Do you believe in reincarnation? he asked himself. He chuckled, the -sound deep in his throat. He was no fool and did not hold a fool's -belief. But the others? The servant classes, the slaves? Yes, they -believed. All their lives, they were indoctrinated to believe. -Reincarnation was the stuff of which their dreams were fashioned, and -so it was that they accepted the hard lot of lifelong servitude with -the hope that in their next birth, had they led a good, loyal life, -they would be born to a higher station.</p> - -<p>Change that? thought the Director. He shook his head slowly, grimly. -But the Earthman Rhodes had been a problem, for in the age-old ruins -of Balata 'kai he'd stumbled on the manuscript of <i>The Book of the -Dead</i>, a five thousand year old document which had first propounded -the beliefs of metempsychosis. <i>The Book of the Dead</i> was a dangerous -document, a document which could ignite Kedak in revolutionary -conflagration, for it showed clearly that the so-called gods of the -earliest Kedaki civilization were not gods at all and their so-called -revelation of metempsychosis not a revelation at all but a clever -trick calculated to win them a life of ease at the expense of gullible -subjects.</p> - -<p>What am I thinking? the Director asked himself. The Earthman Rhodes -is dead, of course. He couldn't possibly be alive. I'm as bad as the -warden, but the warden is a fool who knows nothing.... Still, even if -the warden is a fool and Rhodes is dead, <i>The Book of the Dead</i> is -still missing. And if there is one chance in a million that Rhodes -lives, then every stone on this planet must be turned to find him....</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER IV</p> - - -<p>"Tired, my young friend?" Dr. Quotis asked.</p> - -<p>"Disappointed, I guess," Rhodes admitted.</p> - -<p>"I know how you feel. For three days people have been coming here to -see you with the hope that you might be a missing relative. But—"</p> - -<p>"But none of them knew me," Rhodes finished bleakly. "And yesterday -they were only a trickle."</p> - -<p>"All it will take is one."</p> - -<p>"Doctor, I don't have to tell you I owe my life to you, but—well, I'm -restless."</p> - -<p>"You're young," Quotis said with a smile.</p> - -<p>"I've got to get out and find the lost threads of my life. I'm well -enough, you said so yesterday."</p> - -<p>"But a man in your condition—"</p> - -<p>"Amnesia? So what? I'm perfectly able to take care of myself. It isn't -as if I'm on an alien world or something. Kedak is my home. Kedak is—"</p> - -<p>"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Quotis asked abruptly.</p> - -<p>For a while Rhodes did not answer. And, when finally he did, it was -with a question of his own. "Why do you ask that?"</p> - -<p>"Because it might answer at least one question for you: whether you are -of high or low birth. If of low, then...."</p> - -<p>Rhodes said with a smile, "Since I haven't jumped on your back and -started gouging out your eyes, I guess I wasn't Kedaki baseborn."</p> - -<p>"You highborn Kedaki certainly make no attempt to hide your -irreverency!"</p> - -<p>"Well, why should they?" said Rhodes. "After all, the system is clearly -one which...."</p> - -<p>"They? Did you say they?"</p> - -<p>"I guess I did."</p> - -<p>"Doesn't that strike you as rather odd?"</p> - -<p>Rhodes shrugged, then said, "Look, I'm all confused. I just want to get -out of here and find my life and pick it up where I left off."</p> - -<p>"But you know nothing of your past. Where will you go?"</p> - -<p>"I might as well start at the prison. That's where they found me, isn't -it?"</p> - -<p>Quotis shook his head firmly, and his usually mild voice took on -surprising strength. "Don't be a fool, man!" he cried. "We've already -checked with the prison. None of their personnel is missing. However, -I don't know if they'd checked the inmates at that time. Don't you see?"</p> - -<p>"You mean, if I belong at the prison at all, it's as a prisoner?"</p> - -<p>"Exactly."</p> - -<p>"Still, if I'm to find out anything about myself ... maybe some -discreet inquiries—"</p> - -<p>"Which should never be made by you, my young friend, at least not in -person. If you remain on here and allow me to look into the matter for -you, I'd consider it part of the treatment."</p> - -<p>Rhodes shook his head, saying, "I appreciate that, doctor. I appreciate -all you've done for me. But from now on, I start paying my own way."</p> - -<p>Quotis squinted at him. "Paying your own way? That's an idiom, isn't -it? Surely not Arcturan, as it translates so poorly into the Arcturan -language. Kedaki?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know," Rhodes admitted.</p> - -<p>"Well, I doubt if it is Kedaki. The Kedaki language is not the -galaxy's most imaginary. It has fewer idiomatic phrases than any. Could -I have ... no! No, forget it."</p> - -<p>"What were you going to say?"</p> - -<p>"There's no sense confusing you further when Lord knows you're confused -enough."</p> - -<p>"But you've got to tell me if it's something which might help me learn -my identity. Don't you see that, doctor?"</p> - -<p>"I was thinking ... well, is it possible—just barely possible mind -you—that you are not a Kedaki?"</p> - -<p>"Not a Kedaki? But my skin! My skin is purple!"</p> - -<p>"Because I made it purple. That's no answer. If you're determined to -leave here, you ought to at least know that much. You know absolutely -nothing about yourself. You could be mistaken in everything you think. -For example, you probably are a Kedaki—but you consider yourself a -highborn Kedaki when you might well be lowborn. It makes sense, doesn't -it? All your life, as a lowborn Kedaki, you've been waiting for death -and rebirth, hoping you'd get your chance at a higher station in -life. Now, after near-death, your subconscious mind is unwilling to -accept a return to your lowborn status, so you no longer believe in -reincarnation and hence trick yourself into thinking you're highborn. -It could explain the amnesia, too."</p> - -<p>Rhodes shook his head. "That's a neat theory, except, if true, I -wouldn't understand a word you're saying. In the first place, I -probably wouldn't know any extra-Kedakian language. In the second, -I wouldn't hear such irreverent talk without going berserk. In the -third, I wouldn't understand terms like subconscious mind and even -metempsychosis." Rhodes grinned. "But anyhow, you've given me an idea."</p> - -<p>"What's that?"</p> - -<p>"I'll need a name for myself. In a way I died and was born again, as -happens to all good Kedaki. So, how about Matlin?"</p> - -<p>"Matlin? That means The Reborn, doesn't it?"</p> - -<p>"The Reborn," Rhodes said, nodding. "Well, doc, The Reborn is going to -get dressed and out of here. And thanks for everything."</p> - -<p>"Will I be able to contact you anywhere, if I learn something?"</p> - -<p>"I'll contact you, after I get settled."</p> - -<p>An hour later, Rhodes signed the Arcturan hospital release form. He -signed the form with his new name, Matlin.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Dean of the Department of Archaeology of the Junction City branch -of Kedaki College entered the hospital twenty minutes after Matlin had -walked out into the dazzling Denebian sunshine. The Dean, whose name -was Gawroi, hardly seemed the academic type. For Gawroi was a strapping -baseborn Kedaki who had done the near impossible: Gawroi had risen in -life to a position of some importance among his people. He was a big -fellow with enormous shoulders and an appetite for life second only -to his appetite for eating. But Gawroi, for all his hedonism, was not -soft. He was a hard, capable man—who passionately believed in the -Kedaki doctrine of reincarnation.</p> - -<p>That Five Bureau Director, he thought with admiration. Smart. He was -smart, all right. He's finally got a lead on this Earthman, Rhodes. -But he doesn't send a Five Bureau Operative. Why should he? An -extra-Kedakian like the plastic surgeon Quotis of Arcturus would be -suspicious of a Five Bureau Operative, wouldn't he? The Kedaki Secret -Police—of course he would be suspicious. But of a fellow scientist, an -archaeologist? Never!</p> - -<p>Gawroi grinned in admiration, then waited until the grin vanished, -waited until his big, earnest face assumed its most earnest look, and -entered Quotis' office. Quotis, he observed, was a small bespectacled -Arcturan with vivid orange skin. Quotis rushed around his desk, -beaming, to pump Gawroi's right hand in the Earth gesture which had -swept the galaxy.</p> - -<p>"Gawroi!" he exclaimed. "I've heard of you. This is a pleasure, a real -pleasure."</p> - -<p>Gawroi sat down, settling down and trying to mask his impatience while -Quotis talked of various discoveries in Kedaki archaeology. Quotis was -a garrulous fellow, he thought. Perhaps all Arcturans were garrulous; -he did not know much about Arcturans: he hardly had had any desire to -study the extra-Kedaki people, any of them.</p> - -<p>"But, to your business," Quotis finally said. "I apologize, my friend. -You should have stopped me. I'm sure you didn't come here to hear an -old man talk."</p> - -<p>Gawroi assured him it had been a great pleasure listening, then said, -"There was an Earthman co-worker of mine at the College, a bright young -fellow named Rhodes—you've heard of him?"</p> - -<p>"No. Should I have?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Rhodes has been missing since the earthquake, Dr. Quotis. He had -been assigned to the College by his home office in order to make a -study of extra-terrestrial penal conditions, in this case, the penal -conditions here on Kedak, in Junction City. He was at the prison at -the time of the quake, and since every other person there has been -accounted for, living or dead, and Rhodes has not...."</p> - -<p>"Why come to me?"</p> - -<p>"Because the Five Bureau tells us that a badly burned man was brought -here, was treated by you. Tell me, doctor, was he an Earthman? Did he -survive? Is he here now?"</p> - -<p>"If he survived," said Quotis slowly, "wouldn't he have got in touch -with you?"</p> - -<p>Gawroi said, "We thought an injury, a blow on the head...."</p> - -<p>"The man I treated was a Kedaki."</p> - -<p>"Yes?"</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"You speak in the past tense," Gawroi said. The words came -automatically. He was thinking: you fool, Gawroi. That was a mistake. -A bad mistake. Naturally, if Rhodes was your friend Rhodes would have -contacted you after his accident. How can you think it was amnesia, -when total amnesia is such a rare thing? See? See the Arcturan doctor? -He's suspicious now. Does that mean the man <i>was</i> an Earthman?</p> - -<p>"I treated him," Quotis said. "He's gone now."</p> - -<p>"Treatment successful, doctor? But that is wonderful. I heard the man -was severely burned. Do you have his picture?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Quotis promptly.</p> - -<p>"Could you have been mistaken?"</p> - -<p>"About what?"</p> - -<p>"About this man's planetality? Tell me, doctor, could he have been an -Earthman?"</p> - -<p>"His skin was burned completely. His memory was gone. He might have -been anything," Quotis admitted reluctantly.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Gawroi thought: that was a break. The man actually did have amnesia. -He said, "There, you see? It was as I thought. But tell me, doctor: he -suffered from amnesia, and you let him go?"</p> - -<p>"He was an adult. It was his decision to make. I didn't approve of it."</p> - -<p>"You have a clinical description of the man?"</p> - -<p>"Of course."</p> - -<p>"Can you forward it to my office?"</p> - -<p>"I'll do that. If it's possible for you to tell me why this Earthman is -so important to you...?"</p> - -<p>"Why? Why is Philip Rhodes important?" boomed Gawroi. "Because he was -my friend, Dr. Quotis! I want to find my friend! Is that strange?"</p> - -<p>"No," Quotis admitted.</p> - -<p>"Well, did Rhodes leave a forwarding address?"</p> - -<p>"He did not. He may contact me. I rather think he will."</p> - -<p>"Splendid, doctor. Splendid. When he does, assuming there is some -possibility that this is the same man, will you tell him to contact -me at once. With my help he will be able to take up the thread -of his former existence," Gawroi finished enthusiastically. But -he was thinking: in a Five Bureau torture cell, where he belongs, -this extra-Kedaki, this alien who has dared to counterfeit his own -criminally inaccurate version of the <i>Book of the Dead</i>.</p> - -<p>"I'll let you know," Quotis said. "If you happen to have a picture of -this Earthman Rhodes, I may be able to offer an opinion now."</p> - -<p>Gawroi nodded. "I can oblige you with that." He rummaged in a pocket of -his tunic with big, capable hands. He handed a small glossy photograph -to Dr. Quotis. It was of a young, smiling Earthman, in color, showing -the faintly tan, almost white Earth complexion starkly against a -background of green vegetation.</p> - -<p>Studying the picture, Quotis mused aloud, "It's possible. It certainly -is possible. The features seem the same, Gawroi. But how can I be sure? -Matlin—"</p> - -<p>"Matlin? He called himself The Reborn? He dared to!"</p> - -<p>"It was symbolic to him, I guess."</p> - -<p>"Symbolic? But he dared...."</p> - -<p>"See here, Gawroi. You're a scientist. You ought to keep a check on -your emotions. And you oughtn't be so opinionated. Don't the highborn -Kedaki look with suspicion on the doctrine of metempsychosis?"</p> - -<p>"You extra-Kedaki like to think so," Gawroi said, keeping his voice -down with an effort. "I—I'm sorry for the outburst, doctor." But more -than ever, he was convinced that the man who called himself Matlin was -the Earthman Rhodes, an outsider who wanted to smash five thousand -years of Kedaki tradition with an alleged seeking after the truth.</p> - -<p>"Matlin, as I was saying," Quotis went on finally, "was utterly bald. -His hair won't grow in, you see, until the follicles have had a chance -to adjust to the new skin. Without hair, a face assumes different -proportions. The nose seems larger, the brow more noble. Then, of -course, Matlin's skin is purple, and that also makes a difference. -Still, I'll admit it: it could be the same man."</p> - -<p>"I thought so!" Gawroi said triumphantly. "Doctor, I sincerely want to -find my friend. You'll help?"</p> - -<p>"If Matlin contacts me, yes. Otherwise, I can do nothing."</p> - -<p>"He had complete amnesia?"</p> - -<p>"Total amnesia, yes."</p> - -<p>"Even if there was something very important to him—something he was -working on and believed in very strongly, for example—he couldn't -remember that?"</p> - -<p>"No, but if he runs across it, it might serve to trigger his memory."</p> - -<p>Gawroi stood up, shook his hands once more, chatted amicably for -a few moments with the Arcturan physician, then went outside. -It was a dazzlingly bright day, and hot. Much of Junction City -was still in ruins, great piles of rubble lining the streets, -broken buildings—their walls shattered, their insides exposed -nakedly—condemned but not yet torn down, aid stations only now being -cleared away. But Gawroi was not thinking of this. He was thinking of -<i>The Book of the Dead</i>, and of the Earthman Rhodes.</p> - -<p>Somewhere, Rhodes had hidden <i>The Book</i>—or, his version of <i>The Book</i>. -Rhodes had done an admittedly magnificent job of forgery, or so the -Five Bureau had said. Rhodes' <i>Book</i> looked like the real thing and, -since the masses were ignorant, might serve to sway them. Naturally, -Gawroi knew, this could not be accomplished overnight, but the seeds -for discord and strife could be sowed by a clever extra-Kedaki like -Rhodes in the night of ignorance and discontent. Then, Rhodes had to be -found, had to be stopped, had to be killed if necessary.</p> - -<p>But first Rhodes had to lead them to his <i>Book of the Dead</i>. Gawroi's -enormous hands clutched. He personally, would see that this was done.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER V</p> - - -<p>The man newly named Matlin, which meant The Reborn, stood at the bar -in the Hotel Deneb. Matlin wore an inexpensive tunic supplied him by -the Arcturan hospital, and still had a few silver denebs in his pocket, -also courtesy of the Arcturan hospital. Matlin was not drunk, but -wished that he was.</p> - -<p>He should not have come here. He knew that now. It had been wrong to -surrender to drink like this, before he had time to think, to prowl -the damaged streets and seek out the familiar in a world which seemed -totally alien because his mind was lost somewhere in the shattered -prison building. Had he been a drunkard in his earlier life? or at -least a not very forceful man who readily lost himself in some form of -lethe or another when his problems weighed heavily on his shoulders? -Had this, indeed, been the weak character he'd been trying to resurrect?</p> - -<p>Lethe. He thought: lethe. But what is lethe? It is not a Kedaki word, -but in your thoughts you use it. Isn't it said that a man tends to -think at least some of his thoughts in his native tongue, no matter -where he lives or how long he has been away from home?</p> - -<p>Lethe. It meant: forgetfulness. The waters of ... no, the river of -forgetting. Lethe. It meant that all right. But in what language? This -Matlin did not know.</p> - -<p>The bar of the Hotel Deneb, since the hotel was Junction City's best, -catered to extra-Kedaki and to highborn natives. You could always tell -the highborn by the rich-looking tunics they wore, tell their ladies -by the way you could see breast and loins through the transparent, -clinging garments, and tell both sexes among the highborn by their -arrogance toward lower born Kedaki and toward all extra-planetary -peoples. You could, all right, Matlin thought desperately, but why do -I think this? A lowborn Kedaki would not: he would hope for rebirth, -someday, as a highborn. And a highborn? But a highborn would never -admit it, not even to himself.</p> - -<p>Matlin ordered another glass of Sirian whisky with a soda chaser. -Sirian? Why Sirian? He seemed to like the fiery brew, but Sirius was -five hundred and some years across intergalactic space. Was he a -Sirian? That didn't seem likely, for the Sirians were chauvinistic, -rarely leaving their homeworld....</p> - -<p>Chauvinistic. Another word, like lethe. Not a Kedaki word. A word from -somewhere else, but Matlin could not recall where. As it turned out, he -did not have time to pursue the matter, for a voice at his elbow said:</p> - -<p>"I'll say it again. You were eyeing my woman with lust."</p> - -<p>This jolted Matlin, until he realized he was not being addressed. The -words were spoken by an expensively-dressed highborn Kedaki on his -left, but the man's face was averted. He was talking, Matlin realized, -to a baseborn Kedaki further down the bar who, from the looks of his -tunic, probably had no business here.</p> - -<p>Between them, an amused look on her face, stood a Kedaki woman. She -was incredibly beautiful with the extremely arrogant beauty found -among the highborn Kedaki ladies who, it was said, might have each -toenail painted by a different lowborn slave if they so desired. Her -face was pampered but insolent, and her body, its beauty of line and -curve and hue enhanced rather than hidden by the diaphanous folds of -her veil-like garment, was magnificent. She said, in a deep, throaty, -contralto voice, "Now really, Felg. Don't you think that's enough?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The man named Felg was a big fellow, tall as Matlin but heavier, with -a dueling scar on each cheek. Duels, Matlin knew, were common on Kedak -as copter zoning tickets were on other worlds, for you had nothing -to lose in a duel but your life, and what did this matter against -the possible loss of honor if your death would immediately usher -a—possibly better—rebirth?</p> - -<p>"I don't think it's enough," said Felg. "This lowborn was gawking at -you and while you are beautiful, he should not gawk at another's woman."</p> - -<p>"I am neither your woman nor anyone else's," the beautiful creature -said coldly.</p> - -<p>This angered Felg. If there had been the chance of preventing a duel, -that chance was gone now, trampled in the dust of what might have been -by the woman's insolent words. "Well, then," Felg said slowly, "you are -my woman at least as long as I am your escort. You, there!" he roared, -turning again to the lowborn Kedak who stood waiting quietly, patiently -and almost indifferently. "Are you armed?"</p> - -<p>"I am armed, master," said the lowborn. He was a small, thin Kedaki -with a piping but unfrightened voice. Instinctively, Matlin sympathized -with him. Smaller, weaker, with less to remember and less to look -forward to, victimized by a system hardly above slavery, he was forced -by tradition to wait on the highborn Felg's pleasure, even if that -pleasure were to mean death in an uneven duel with the spike-studded -Kedaki maces.</p> - -<p>Felg laughed harshly. "No dagger, you fool. I mean a mace."</p> - -<p>"I carry no mace," the lowborn admitted.</p> - -<p>"Barkeep!" roared Felg, but the barkeep, highborn as Felg himself, -shook his head slowly, saying:</p> - -<p>"We serve extra-Kedaki here, see? The place is full of them. There will -be no duel here tonight, or any night."</p> - -<p>"But it's lawful," said Felg stubbornly.</p> - -<p>"Lawful or not—" began the barkeep. Then the beautiful woman smiled at -Felg, a smile not for him but at him, a baring of the teeth in amused -contempt. And she hissed:</p> - -<p>"Felg, I swear, you are a barbarian."</p> - -<p>Felg slammed his hand down on the surface of the bar. "It is lawful. I -demand my rights! Bring maces!"</p> - -<p>"I await you, lord," said the lowborn.</p> - -<p>"Not here," the barkeep said softly, not wanting to create a -disturbance. Then he looked at Felg's eyes. Felg's eyes told him that -Felg had been made a fool of before the woman, but they did not tell -him what Felg did not know: Felg had been made a fool of by himself. -The eyes did say, however, that if Felg did not have satisfaction -from the lowborn, he would have it from the barkeep himself. And the -voice, a roaring, thundering bellow, confirmed this. "I'll duel with -him here!" cried Felg. "Here and now I will!" He added softly, almost -purring: "Or I'll duel with you outside, friend. Do you believe in -metempsychosis, friend?"</p> - -<p>Matlin knew what the barkeep's unspoken answer was by the ashen look -which came over the man's face. He most assuredly did not believe. -He was afraid to die. He did not want to duel with Felg, a bully and -probably an expert with the mace. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. -He looked at the lowborn and shook his head. He said, "I'll get the -maces."</p> - -<p>"Room!" someone bellowed, excitement in his voice. "Give them room!"</p> - -<p>Kedaki and extra-planetaries moved away from the bar, forming a rough -square a dozen paces across. The barkeep ducked through a doorway and -Matlin heard a lady tourist from Polaris say, almost squealing the -words, "This is so exciting." The tone of her voice disgusted him. -The extra-Kedaki, he thought. Perhaps they were guilty too. At least, -if they enjoyed the fantastic mores of Kedak, if in any way they -encouraged them, then they shared guilt with the Kedaki highborn.</p> - -<p>But not equal guilt. No, not that. For clearly, the man named Felg was -chiefly to blame here. Big, powerful-looking Felg—a murderer. Because, -Matlin told himself grimly, it would be murder. The smaller Kedaki, the -lowborn, didn't have a chance. Looking at his face, Matlin knew that -the man was aware of this. And Felg? Felg was aware of it too. In the -case of the lowborn awareness did not bring terror, for virtually all -lowborn Kedaki believed in reincarnation. Thus, facing death, Felg's -victim was almost sure he would be reborn in a higher station in life. -But Felg did not believe. Felg was a trained maceman: the scars on his -cheeks—white scar tissue over crushed cheekbones—proved this. Felg -would kill the lowborn and it would be cold-blooded murder morally if -not in the eyes of the Kedaki law.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A buzz of eagerness stirred the crowd as the barkeep returned with -the traditional <i>melgast</i>, the metal bar from which the two dueling -maces hung on hooks. The maces were a yard long, their stems extremely -light-weight and thick enough around at the base for a man to hold -comfortably, their heads round and heavy and black and studded with -a score or so of half-inch long spikes. As the barkeep brought the -<i>melgast</i> forward, the maces swung back and forth on their hooks.</p> - -<p>The Polarian woman who had been excited gasped. Whispers ran through -the crowd. "Let me see them," Felg demanded coldly, and examined the -maces as the barkeep lifted the <i>melgast</i> over the surface of the bar -with both hands.</p> - -<p>"You can still change your mind," the barkeep suggested.</p> - -<p>Felg raked him with a glance. "Would <i>you</i> want me to?"</p> - -<p>The barkeep could not stare at him long. "No," he said. "Not if you -don't want to."</p> - -<p>"I am ready, master," the lowborn said.</p> - -<p>Felg bowed to him, mocking him. "Select your weapon, then, and tell me -your name so I may have it for the report I must file after our duel."</p> - -<p>The beautiful woman looked at him coldly. "You already have this man -dead and cremated, don't you, Felg?" she asked contemptuously.</p> - -<p>"He'll live on!" cried Felg, in mock reverence. "Don't we all. We live -forever—as we die forever! On with the cycle! Hooray for life! Hooray -for death! Are you ready, lowborn? Ready for your passage to a higher -station?"</p> - -<p>The woman whispered fiercely, "You don't believe a word of that, do -you?"</p> - -<p>Instead of answering her, Felg hefted his mace and waited for the -lowborn's reply. "Ranmut is my name," came the other's piping voice. -And again he said, "I am ready, master." He held the mace uncertainly, -awkwardly. It was obvious to everyone present that he barely knew how -to use it and would not have a chance against the experienced Felg. But -still, he had courage....</p> - -<p>No, Matlin thought, his courage is based upon a lie! <i>The Book of the -Dead</i>—a tissue of lies fabricated thousands of years ago and still -keeping the lowborn Kedaki in fearful bondage to the highborn. But—but -how, Matlin wondered wildly, do I know this? How....</p> - -<p>He was very adept with the Kedaki mace. He knew that suddenly too, -and at first the knowledge surprised him. Then the memory came. It -was the first clear memory of the time before the Earthquake that -he had experienced. It was a single memory-picture, devoid of all -connections, devoid of any real meaning. He was in a room. The walls -were padded and the floor was padded. He had come there for exercise. -It was—it was a gymnasium. You fought with Kedaki maces in this -gymnasium, but see? see? they were not real maces. They were padded -instead of spiked and if you swung with all your might you could -possibly knock your antagonist senseless as you would in Earth-style -boxing, but nothing else. And, in the memory, Matlin usually won.</p> - -<p>Also in the memory, Matlin's skin was the tan-white of Earthmen!</p> - -<p>"Wait!" he blurted, and silence fell like a shroud on the large room.</p> - -<p>Felg and the lowborn named Ranmut were squaring off with the maces. -Felg snapped, "Well, what is it?"</p> - -<p>Again the shroud of silence. Padded maces, thought Matlin. It was a -memory, a vague, troubled, unclear memory. Perhaps I was very good with -padded maces, but in their padding they did not hold death, the kind of -death this man Felg had delivered with spiked maces and would deliver -again....</p> - -<p>"Well, come on, man, come on!" shouted the overwrought Felg -impatiently. Ranmut merely looked at Matlin, neither glad nor sorry -for the temporary reprieve, awaiting the end which a five thousand year -old fabrication told him was merely the beginning.</p> - -<p><i>Forever we die!</i>—these were the first words of the <i>Book of the -Dead</i>. But—to live again? The writers of the book had lied, for they -hadn't known. No one had known, thought Matlin.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Sirian whisky roared through his veins. His vision clouded, then -cleared. "I am Matlin," he said.</p> - -<p>A Kedaki nearby gasped and Felg cried: "The Reborn! You dare to call -yourself that?"</p> - -<p>"That is no name," Ranmut whispered, his voice strange.</p> - -<p>"I am Matlin, for the record you must keep," Matlin told Felg, his -words dropping like peals of thunder on the silence in the great room. -"I am bigger than this man Ranmut and I can use the mace. I challenge -you, Felg."</p> - -<p>Felg appraised him, then said, "Later, if you have a grievance. But I -don't know you, Matlin."</p> - -<p>"No! Now. I wish to take Ranmut's place." Don't think, he told himself. -Don't think that in the memory your skin was white as an Earthman's. -And don't think that you fought with padded maces only.</p> - -<p>A voice called: "It would be far fairer."</p> - -<p>Other voices took it up, and Felg's beautiful woman companion turned -and looked coolly, then with quickening interest, at Matlin. She smiled -at him and it was a smile like consuming flames. She said, with a -laugh, "Oh, Felg! Poor Felg, you're in for a fight now."</p> - -<p>Ranmut stared at Matlin. Someone pushed Ranmut forward and Matlin took -the mace from his hand. He patted the little man's shoulder because -Ranmut still looked dubious, and then someone cried a warning. Matlin -barely had time to realize it was the woman, and then—from the corner -of his eye he saw Felg charging!</p> - -<p>Felg came so swiftly that Matlin barely had time to whirl and face him. -Felg came like a rocket, his big brutal face contorted with hatred. -Felg came with a wild bellow meant to stop Matlin dead in his tracks. -Felg came with a rush and the rush spelled death. Then Felg swung his -mace.</p> - -<p>All this happened in a split-second. Matlin threw himself to the floor, -lacking time to bring his own mace around to parry the unexpected -attack. The mace blurred by inches over his head as he went down and -he realized that it would have split his skull like a ripe melon had -he still been standing. Spike-studded, it crashed into the side of the -bar, splintering the richly-grained hardwood as if it had been a flimsy -sheet of wickerwork.</p> - -<p>The spikes caught and held in the wood, but with a wrench of his hand -Felg got them loose before Matlin could climb to his feet. Felg swung -again, putting his whole body behind the blow. He swung downward and -the deadly head of the mace splintered the floor as it had splintered -the hardwood bar. It had been so close that some of the spikes caught -in Matlin's tunic. When he scrambled upright, he was half naked and -there was a welt from his armpit to the bottom of his ribcage.</p> - -<p>He swung his own mace, but Felg caught it expertly with the haft of his -weapon, twisting suddenly and almost tearing the mace from Matlin's -grasp. Then Felg advanced with a lightning-swift series of short, -jolting blows from his weapon. Matlin took them all on the haft of his -own, but his hands ached with the shock and his arms grew numb. Across -the room he reeled before the powerful onslaught. Sparks leaped between -the maces as they struck; the sounds were of a smithy in hell.</p> - -<p>Felg was big, powerful. Matlin knew he must summon memory to survive -the attack, for already his arms dragged so wearily he barely could -hold the mace crosswise in front of him with both hands to take the -rain of blows. Something he must remember ... had to remember ... must -bring forth to save his life....</p> - -<p>He fell abruptly to one knee, and the Polarian tourist woman gave a -little scream of terror and enjoyment. Leering, sweat streaming from -his face, Felg brought his mace up for the <i>coup</i>. And Matlin dropped -his other knee to the floor.</p> - -<p>Felg's face spoke mutely of Felg's knowledge of the move, but the heavy -mace already swung down and could not be checked. It blurred across -Matlin's shoulder, the spiked head splintering the hardwood floor -behind him. For an instant, Felg leaned over him, wrenching at the mace -helplessly and exposing his middle.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Slowly, aware he had all the time in the world, Matlin brought his own -mace up. I'm going to kill this man, he thought. I can kill this man -now. I merely have to drive the head of the mace against his abdomen, -ripping through the wall of muscle to the quivering viscera beneath. -He will scream, the blood will flow, the mace will fall from his -nerveless fingers, and they will hail me here as hero. But I have saved -the man Ranmut's life, so why should I kill this one? The thought -astonished him: it was no Kedaki thought....</p> - -<p>Symbolic of his triumph, he placed the head of his mace against Felg's -belly and pushed. The big Kedaki stumbled back, the wind driven from -him. He collapsed on the floor and his mace, still spikefast in the -hardwood, quivered there. Matlin walked to it, braced both feet, -strained his back, and drew it clear. Then he took both maces and -returned them to the <i>melgast</i>.</p> - -<p>"No! No!" screamed Felg, his breath returning. "Kill me! Kill me, you -fool!"</p> - -<p>Ranmut said, but quietly, "Kill him, lord. He would have killed me. He -expects to be killed. Otherwise, his honor dies. Kill him, lord."</p> - -<p>Matlin looked at the barkeep, who shrugged and held his silence. The -faces of the crowd told him nothing. And Felg's woman? She had no love -for Felg: she was Felg's companion for the night, no more. She wore the -look of a Sphinx on her beautiful face and when she saw Matlin watching -her the smile she turned on him was a smiling of the mouth only. Her -eyes were cold and distant, but beautiful.</p> - -<p>Matlin took one of the maces from the <i>melgast</i>. The spikes held blood, -and bits of scraped skin and flesh adhered to them. So this was the -mace Felg had used, for blood had been drawn from Matlin's ribs. With -this mace, Matlin walked to the man he had conquered. Felg had not -risen from the floor. He sat there and he looked up at Matlin, who made -no move to use the mace, and he said, his voice a tight whisper now, -barely audible, "Will you kill me? I can't stand the waiting."</p> - -<p>"I read somewhere," Matlin heard himself saying, "that at the moment -before death life is so precious that a man will crave it even if it -is a life of torment on torment, a life of torture, a life of terrible -pain. But life, any life, rather than the black sleep of death. Life as -a slave, and toil without end, and streaming sweat mixed with blood, -but life! This I read, but of course it was not on Kedak, for here on -Kedak death means nothing. Well, does it?"</p> - -<p>"Kill me now," said Felg, uncertainly.</p> - -<p>Matlin lifted the mace slowly. "Here on Kedak, how can death hold such -terrors? Death is not the unknown. Death is not a sleep of forever, a -sleep without waking, or the unproven expectation of sharing a dream of -immortality with the god. Death here on Kedak is merely a way station -in the passage of life, many lives. So why should we fear death? You -believe this, do you not? Believe the transcripts from the <i>Book of the -Dead</i> as our religious teachers read them?"</p> - -<p>"I believe," said Felg quickly, without passion, without conviction.</p> - -<p>The mace was high over Matlin's head now. The crowd came close, -watching. Someone touched the single mace remaining on its hook, and -the mace swung slowly. The swinging motion caught Felg's eye and he -watched, fascinated. But the mace was out of reach and he must have -known it. Everything but death was now out of reach, forever out of -reach.</p> - -<p>"That death is not a cold sleep from which there is no awakening?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes!"</p> - -<p>"That reincarnation will come to you?" Why am I doing this, Matlin -wondered. It was to prove a point: but he knew not what point he wished -to prove.</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes...."</p> - -<p>"That the loss of life is to be suffered before the loss of honor?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. By the holy pages of <i>The Book of the Dead</i>, kill me!"</p> - -<p>"All this you believe?"</p> - -<p>Light caught the spikes of the mace. They flashed. Someone had to carry -the Polarian tourist to a chair and settle her there. Sweat made her -clothing cling to her body, revealing a figure like a sow's. Sweat -beaded her face, but her ugly little eyes gazed on Matlin as if he'd -made love to her.</p> - -<p>"State your belief," said Matlin.</p> - -<p>"Kill me." A barely audible whisper.</p> - -<p>"State your belief, Felg."</p> - -<p>Felg's eyes riveted on the mace. His face was gray. His eyes pleaded -with the mace, as if cold metal, death-dealing metal, might heed the -message Matlin would not. Silence was a wall between this room and the -rest of the world.</p> - -<p>And Felg screamed, "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"</p> - -<p>His eyes blinked. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he rolled over -to fall on his knees before Matlin. "If you had killed me at once," -he sobbed bitterly. "If you would have killed me. Damn you, I don't -believe, I don't believe...."</p> - -<p>"Then live," said Matlin indifferently, all at once not caring if Felg -lived or died.</p> - -<p>A roar went up from the crowd of extra-Kedaki, but the Kedaki -themselves were sullen. Highborn like Felg, they also did not believe -in reincarnation. They saw themselves on the floor, craven before what -seemed to be a lowborn member of their race, lives spared and honor -destroyed.</p> - -<p>The beautiful woman who had been with Felg took Matlin's elbow. -"They're ugly now," she said. "You'd better get out of here."</p> - -<p>"What difference does it make to you?"</p> - -<p>"Difference? No difference. Felg is a fool and you gave me pleasure."</p> - -<p>"Come with me," Matlin said on impulse.</p> - -<p>It was very hot outside and for the first time when they reached the -street Matlin knew that he had been close to death.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER VI</p> - - -<p>"Listen," said Matlin. "You don't have to come with me."</p> - -<p>"You told me to."</p> - -<p>"That was before."</p> - -<p>They had walked a long time through the hot damp stillness of the -Kedaki night. They had not spoken. Matlin's thoughts drifted aimlessly; -the woman was content to share his silence.</p> - -<p>"Listen," he said again as they passed the bright glowing lights of -the Junction City bus depot, where the big gas-turbine-driven busses -snarled as they turned out of the streams of traffic. "I'm going -somewhere."</p> - -<p>"You're walking, yes."</p> - -<p>"I don't mean that. Somewhere. And I don't even know your name."</p> - -<p>"It's Haazahri. Where are you going?"</p> - -<p>Matlin said, "Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"The ruins of the First City? Why in the world...."</p> - -<p>"I don't know why. It doesn't matter why. Something in me says go there -to open the tombs of memory."</p> - -<p>"You don't have memory?"</p> - -<p>"The Earthquake," said Matlin. "I remember nothing before it."</p> - -<p>"Well, you can't go to Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"You don't have to come with me."</p> - -<p>"I didn't mean that. It's against the law."</p> - -<p>"Since when?" demanded Matlin.</p> - -<p>"Since the quake. Until they are rebuilt, the ruins are no place for -tourists. Until they are rebuilt, the ruins are a fine place for -thieves. Since the records of the birth of our civilization are among -those ruins, the police have orders to kill any trespassers. That's why -you can't go. Is it terribly important to you?"</p> - -<p>"I feel that it is. I don't know why. As if—as if something's waiting -there for me."</p> - -<p>"You shouldn't tell me. I'm supposed to report you. I—"</p> - -<p>"Will you?" Matlin asked indifferently.</p> - -<p>"I will not," said Haazahri promptly. "I'll go with you."</p> - -<p>Matlin shook his head, bemused. He couldn't believe his ears. His -troubles were his troubles. Why should the beautiful Haazahri accompany -him? Why should she want to?</p> - -<p>He asked, "Why?"</p> - -<p>"Because you gave me pleasure."</p> - -<p>Matlin felt disappointed. "You enjoyed the beating Felg got? You -enjoyed his shaming?"</p> - -<p>"No, I don't mean that. It's your name and how ... how you live up to -its suggestion of heresy. Religion is a good thing on other worlds, -Matlin. I have spoken with people. On the planets of Antares, where the -folk accept with choice a pantheism of total godhood, that is good; on -Earth, where several religions freely proclaim the worship of a single -great deity under different names, that is good. But don't you see, -here on Kedak—but of course, you see. The point I make is, you say -what you believe. If another...."</p> - -<p>"But I don't believe. I'm an iconoclast."</p> - -<p>"If another feels as you do, but says nothing...."</p> - -<p>"You, Haazahri?"</p> - -<p>"I. And so you give me pleasure. You're a strange man, Matlin, but a -brave one. If you lost your memory, is Matlin a new name you have given -yourself?"</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"I wonder," Haazahri mused, looking at him and smiling. She was a tall -woman, her face almost on a level with his own. She stared frankly into -his eyes, boldly, still smiling. "I wonder if you have any family, if -you are married...."</p> - -<p>"I'm a long way from home," Matlin said abruptly.</p> - -<p>"Now, what does that mean? What is your mind trying to tell you?"</p> - -<p>Matlin shook his head in wonder. "The words—just came!"</p> - -<p>Haazahri was still smiling. "No, you wouldn't be married."</p> - -<p>"Why not?"</p> - -<p>"Because," said Haazahri, "until this day you hadn't met me."</p> - -<p>"Haazahri, listen...." he began.</p> - -<p>"Don't start that again. I'm coming with you to Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"Haazahri...."</p> - -<p>But she swung to him abruptly, clutching his tunic and drawing herself -close to him. "Matlin," she breathed tremulously. "Matlin, love...." -They were in the pleasure district of Junction City, the lights a mad -whirl-and-flash, the crowds noisy, drunken, unconcerned.</p> - -<p>They stood together, as stone. But the blood boiled in their veins, and -their hearts were not stone.</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," he said. Then he kissed her.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER VII</p> - - -<p>Gawroi's office at Kedaki College was furnished home-style with low -benches and a central mat rather than chairs and a desk. The home-style -furnishings, in their simple beauty, were not popular here on Kedak. -Typical, thought Gawroi angrily. For five thousand years home-style is -good enough for the Kedaki. For five thousand years no muddle-brained -agitators question the value of home-style, its beauty or its function. -Then a wave of false galactic brotherhood sweeps Kedak and the big, -ungainly desks and chairs clutter more offices every day, so a man -finds it difficult to move about without striking his body against some -sharp edge or other.</p> - -<p>And emotionally? Emotionally it is the same. The Kedaki religion -is—the Kedaki religion. The cornerstone on which the world-spanning -structure that is the edifice of Kedaki culture rests. The womb of -knowledge and the sum of knowledge. But—questioned now. Doubted -secretly by some among the highborn, as if they get a masochistic -satisfaction from believing their gods are false and their -fifty-generation belief in metempsychosis an attempt of their own class -to keep the lowborn in servitude. Why, it was ridiculous!</p> - -<p>"Come in, come in, my dear fellow!" Gawroi boomed, motioning his -visitor to one of the low benches. "So you are Felg."</p> - -<p>"I came as soon as I saw your announcement," Felg said, seating himself -uncomfortably on the low bench.</p> - -<p>"Tell me about it, Felg. What you said by phone, it could be very -important."</p> - -<p>Felg licked his lips nervously. "You realize I'm not usually an -informer, but when I saw that the Chairman of the Department of -Archaeology at the College and the police were both seeking this -Matlin...."</p> - -<p>"The police were not my idea," Gawroi growled. And they weren't, but -not for the reason he would have this Felg think. If the Five Bureau -decided to ring in the police, he supposed that was the Five Bureau's -business. But the police might make Matlin—the Earthman Rhodes, he -was sure—wary. "Now, then. You say you know the whereabouts of Matlin?"</p> - -<p>"I think so."</p> - -<p>"May I ask, Felg, why you...." Gawroi let his voice trail off, hoping -Felg would interrupt him. And Felg did.</p> - -<p>"Why I inform on this man? Because it is my duty as a loyal Kedaki, as -a servant of my world and the world-idea which governs us, through five -thousand years, from Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"Good," said Gawroi. "Now tell me."</p> - -<p>"Last night the man Matlin took a bus to Haatok."</p> - -<p>"The northern outskirt of the city?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Haatok. This was as close to Balata 'kai as public conveyance -could take him."</p> - -<p>"He's going to Balata 'kai?"</p> - -<p>"The bus was night darkened. I was on the bus. I got off the bus at -Haatok, as he did. He was in the company of a woman named Haazahri."</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," said Gawroi, writing the name down. "Go ahead."</p> - -<p>"On the bus, he and the woman Haazahri spoke softly, but I heard some -of their words. In the morning, that is, today, they were going to -Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"Why? Did they say why?"</p> - -<p>"I failed to hear them. Why do you want this Matlin?"</p> - -<p>"Isn't his illegal entry into Balata 'kai enough?"</p> - -<p>"You didn't know that," said Felg, "until I told you."</p> - -<p>"I'll ask you a question, Felg. Why did you want to inform on Matlin?"</p> - -<p>"I already told you...."</p> - -<p>"And I'm asking again. What were your personal reasons?"</p> - -<p>"I have no personal reasons."</p> - -<p>"Well, not that it matters."</p> - -<p>Felg said suddenly, "You want to kill Matlin, don't you?"</p> - -<p>"Eh? What's that?" Gawroi, startled, looked down at the reclining man. -He had an impulse to kick the smirking face. Then he calmed himself -with an effort and said, "But that's ridiculous! I have reason to -believe that the man who calls himself Matlin is actually an Earthman -named Rhodes, a victim of amnesia, suffered in the quake. Rhodes was a -colleague of mine, you see, and...."</p> - -<p>"I hate Matlin!" Felg said in a soft but hate-filled voice. "There's a -brother to my hate in this room, I know there is, and nothing you can -say will hide it. But don't you see, Gawroi? You don't have to tell me -about your hatred. You can keep it secret. The important fact is, you -hate. You want to kill this man. I hate him. I want to destroy him. I -hate that man."</p> - -<p>"Rhodes...." began Gawroi mildly.</p> - -<p>"Rhodes? All right, all right, Rhodes. Maybe Matlin <i>is</i> an Earthman -somehow wearing purple skin. I don't care. It means nothing, nothing. -Together, if we can find Matlin out there, in Balata 'kai...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Gawroi was thinking: perhaps I can use this man's hatred. Because now -that the Five Bureau had seen fit to call in the police, it was very -dangerous. The police could be a problem. The police did not work -secretly. Whatever the police did would be open to public scrutiny. So, -if the police caught Matlin-Rhodes, he might escape with his life—and -even his secret. The secret! The knowledge Matlin-Rhodes carried -around in his head, lost to the world, lost even to himself—that was -important!</p> - -<p>Rhodes had said it was <i>The Book of the Dead</i>. The real <i>Book of the -Dead</i>. Now, Gawroi and any loyal Kedaki knew better; it was not <i>The -Book of the Dead</i>; it was a fantastically clever forgery; and it could -bring the multiple hells of uncertainty to Kedak if Rhodes were given -the chance to find where he had hidden it and the chance to make its -contents public. Rhodes had told him about it. "<i>The Book of the Dead</i>, -Gawroi," he had said, before the quake. "I'll tell you about this holy -of holies of yours, Gawroi, and if I'm irreverent, I can't help being -irreverent. Man, look around you! Must the lowborn remain lowborn, -with no chance to better themselves, generation after generation? Do -you really need human footstools to support the soles and heels of -your vanity? They thought so for five thousand years, and they gave -you a legacy. They gave you <i>The Book of the Dead</i>, with its lies and -exaggerations and fabrications and deceit. Reincarnation! The writers -of that book didn't know anything more about reincarnation than I do! -But the lowborn swallowed their story for five thousand years. Well, -it's time this stopped...."</p> - -<p>And Gawroi had said, "What's it your business? You, an Earthman?"</p> - -<p>"Sure, I'm an Earthman," Rhodes had answered. "But I'm a scientist -first. I seek the truth, Gawroi, and I've found the truth. It won't be -hidden much longer."</p> - -<p>"Hidden?" Gawroi had asked incredulously. "It's hidden?"</p> - -<p>"Hell, yes, it's hidden. Don't you think I know the score? I'd be -beaten if necessary, for possession of that book."</p> - -<p>Beaten was an understatement. The next day, Rhodes had been imprisoned. -His mistake, Gawroi thought coldly, was confiding in me. I was a fellow -scientist, though, and men like Rhodes make much of the scientific -fraternity. Well, I'm a scientist second, a Kedaki first.</p> - -<p>And now, this. Now Felg. Through Felg and with Felg, he could perhaps -get to Matlin-Rhodes before the police. And make sure that the false -<i>Book of the Dead</i>, and its forger, were not allowed to poison the -minds of a whole people.</p> - -<p>He asked Felg, "Why didn't you go to the police?"</p> - -<p>"At first," Felg said, "I thought I would go to the police. There in -Haatok, though, I changed my mind. Listen, Gawroi: I reasoned that if -the police wanted him and you wanted him too, then your reason must be -more than merely academic. And, while this Matlin spent the night in an -Haatokian inn with the woman Haazahri, I told myself: Gawroi's the man -for you. Go to Gawroi because neither your personal reason for hating -Matlin, nor his, need bow before the will of the police. The police, -capable but indifferent, might bungle. But Gawroi and yourself—"</p> - -<p>"That's enough," said Gawroi. "I see what you mean. Felg listen to me. -If we do this thing together, if we join forces, my motives must never -be questioned."</p> - -<p>"Nor mine."</p> - -<p>"Good. Very well, Felg. I hate this Matlin. And you—you want Matlin -killed?"</p> - -<p>"Killed," echoed Felg.</p> - -<p>"One promise. He is not to be killed until he leads me to something."</p> - -<p>"Where? We can't be chasing all over Kedak."</p> - -<p>"In Balata 'kai, probably. That's why he went there."</p> - -<p>"Is he really an Earthman named Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"I believe so. Does it matter?"</p> - -<p>"It doesn't matter to me. But it might matter to the police."</p> - -<p>"Exactly. You haven't told anyone else?"</p> - -<p>"No."</p> - -<p>"And the woman with Rhodes? Haazahri? What of her?"</p> - -<p>"You leave Haazahri to me," Felg said.</p> - -<p>Gawroi shook his hand, regretting the need for the Earth-style gesture -which had swept the galaxy. He had an instinctive dislike for Felg, -but thought Felg just the man to help him, just the man to join him -at Balata 'kai, just the man to see to it that Matlin-Rhodes never -returned to Junction City alive....</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER VIII</p> - - -<p>Balata 'kai!</p> - -<p>Even the word was like heady wine.</p> - -<p>Balata 'kai!</p> - -<p>Where, five thousand years ago, civilization—and a lie—had been born -on Kedak. Where now the ruins were ghostly in the early dawnlight, -standing like grim sentinels against the still dark sky, silhouetted -there on the limestone crag above the floor of the desert.</p> - -<p>"Would you believe it, Matlin," Haazahri said, "I'm a native of -Junction City, but I've never seen the ruins of Balata 'kai?"</p> - -<p>"Sure. It's like that all over. Only the tourists are interested in -what makes where you live famous," Matlin said, and smiled. He was -happy. He felt happy for the first time since his accident. The woman? -She was part of the reason, but not most of it. Did he love her? He -hardly knew, and wouldn't press it yet, not until he remembered. -Because it wasn't fair either to Haazahri or whatever he was, whoever -he was, in lost memory.</p> - -<p>It was Balata 'kai. He belonged here. Somehow, he could sense that. The -navel of his people, was that the reason? Because any Kedaki would -feel at home where the world-idea that governed his planet had been -born, fifty centuries ago?</p> - -<p>But not Matlin. Matlin was an iconoclast. Matlin did not believe, -Matlin wished to smash idols, Matlin wished....</p> - -<p>Did he? He didn't know what he wished. He'd come here on an impulse. -Idol-breaker? But why? And what idols?</p> - -<p>"Look," he said, pointing at the limestone crag. There was something at -once ineffably serene and tumultuously exciting about the five thousand -year old slabs and columns perched there. There were stories they could -tell, stories of generations long turned to dust, stories of the past -and how, from the past, the present came, child of history, buffetted -by forces it only half-understood, the helpless, passionate, living -present, the moment for which, whether we admit it or not, we all live, -ephemeral, hardly palpable, thrilling and then gone, dead, history, the -navel for tomorrow which is today....</p> - -<p>"It is beautiful," Haazahri said slowly.</p> - -<p>A wind stirred, swirling little puffs of sand at their feet, their -clothing, even their faces. The sun was very hot already and would be -much hotter soon. Dazzling white Deneb, far brighter than Sol....</p> - -<p>Sol!</p> - -<p>But Sol was the day star of the planet Earth, remote on the other edge -of this small filamental arm of the galaxy. So, why Sol? Look at your -skin, Matlin. Matlin, the Reborn! Proud, insolent name! But look at -your skin. Gaze on it. You're Kedaki. Of course you're Kedaki. What -else could you be?</p> - -<p>"Have you ever been here before?" Haazahri asked.</p> - -<p>"Yes, I think so."</p> - -<p>"Probably it's why you wanted to come."</p> - -<p>"I've been here. I know I have, Haazahri. Many times. Straight ahead, -there, see where I'm pointing? There used to be a staircase there, -carved in the living rock. For tourists to climb to the top, to see the -ruins. See the jumble of rocks now? We'll have to climb, but it won't -be like climbing stairs. We'll—"</p> - -<p>"Get down!" Haazahri cried suddenly, and threw herself at him, and bore -them both to the sand, where they lay still. "Where you were pointing," -she whispered. "Look, but don't turn your head. Don't move. Someone's -up there."</p> - -<p>They were a hundred paces from the base of the limestone crag, obscure -in the dimness of its early morning shadow. The crag was perhaps -another hundred paces high and at the top, where the three tallest -columns of Balata 'kai stood, piercing the sky for half the height of -the crag or more, a figure was marching.</p> - -<p>"Police," whispered Haazahri. "Has he seen us?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Matlin. "It's dark down here. We're all right, I think."</p> - -<p>"There is treasure in the ruins," Haazahri told him. "It's what the -tourists come to see mostly. But since the quake, the ruins are -off-limits. Thieves have been out here in the dark of night, defiling -the temples and...."</p> - -<p>"Defiling?"</p> - -<p>"Defiling, if one believes."</p> - -<p>"Do you believe, Haazahri?"</p> - -<p>"You're a strange man, Matlin. We're down on our bellies in the sand, -hiding from the police, and yet you ask a question like that. I—I -don't know if I believe or not. I believe a people need something, some -faith...."</p> - -<p>"Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you believe that every poor craven -lowborn, if he leads a meek, servile life, will be rewarded in a fresh -incarnation by moving up a rung in the social ladder? Do you believe?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Slowly, Haazahri shook her head. "No," she said, confusion in her -eyes. "I never could admit it to myself before, Matlin. But you have a -way ... you put it so simply. No, Matlin. I don't believe that."</p> - -<p>"Good, because otherwise we would have been defilers."</p> - -<p>"I don't understand."</p> - -<p>"I'm not sure I do, either. But we're going up there. We can work our -way up among the rocks, when the guard is out of sight. We can—"</p> - -<p>"It will be dangerous."</p> - -<p>"I have to chance it. You don't."</p> - -<p>"I'll go with you. I already said so, Matlin. But why will we be -defilers?"</p> - -<p>"Because there's something up there. Oh, I don't know what. Something, -though. Waiting for me. My head, Haazahri! My memory! As if I've been -sundered, disembodied, and part of me is up there. I—I had it once, -this thing. I had it, and lost it. No ... wait. <i>I had it, then hid -it.</i> It was something—dynamite, Haazahri. Something so explosive that -I didn't know what to do with it but knew I must do something. Like -playing with fire, the memory says."</p> - -<p>"What kind of fire?"</p> - -<p>"Fire for the Kedaki. Cultural fire. Idol-breaking, iconoclastic...."</p> - -<p>"But you don't remember what?"</p> - -<p>"No."</p> - -<p>"And the way you speak of us, The Kedaki. As if you, as if -you're—alien."</p> - -<p>Matlin said nothing. His head ached with the half-thoughts, the -dream-thoughts. The wind had died down and he breathed deeply of the -clear hot morning air. When he looked up and saw the ruins of Balata -'kai silhouetted against the brightening sky, he could see nothing of -the guard.</p> - -<p>"Come," he said, and stood up, helping Haazahri to her feet. She leaned -against him for a moment, the maiden suppleness of her ripe against his -thews and chest. He held her and she breathed against his ear, touching -the lobe of it with her lips. "I love you, Matlin," she said. "Whoever -you are, whatever you are. You know that, don't you?"</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," he said, pushing her away gently. "You may only hurt -yourself. I don't know. I don't know! I can't say anything, can't think -anything of that, until I know. My name is not Matlin. I don't even -know my name."</p> - -<p>A faint, wistful smile played about her lips as she said, "All right, -lead on to what's left of that staircase of yours."</p> - -<p>They took half a dozen strides toward the base of the limestone crag. -Limestone. On the desert, with little water to erode it, how long would -limestone endure? A dozen eternities, thought Matlin, and more. Balata -'kai—forever....</p> - -<p>Suddenly, he was running. Something had moved in the shadow at the foot -of the cliff. Since it hadn't called out, whatever it was, he hoped -that it would not. He ran silently, swiftly.</p> - -<p>He reached the spot. There was nothing. He gazed around. The shadows -were dark.</p> - -<p>Something just above his head made a sound. A pebble was dislodged, -dropped on his shoulder and to the sand. He did not look up. On his way -he'd seen a ledge there, its flat surface at about the height his hand -could reach. The ledge, narrow, barely wide enough for a man to stand -on, would not be empty now.</p> - -<p>His hand blurred up at it, grasped something which yielded, then -struggled. He tugged and a voice pleaded: "Lord, I'll fall!"</p> - -<p>With a yank, he pulled the man off the ledge. He had hold of the man's -ankle, then let go of it, and leaped on the man when he had fallen to -the sand. There was a brief scuffle, and he had the man by the throat. -He let his hands go loose for a moment and hissed:</p> - -<p>"Who are you?"</p> - -<p>"Please, lord. I mean no harm."</p> - -<p>"Who are you?"</p> - -<p>Just then Haazahri came up. "Why, I know this fellow," she said. "And -so do you, Matlin."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He looked again. It was a woe-begotten face, meek, homely, the eyes -terror-filled. Its owner said, "I am Ranmut the lowborn, lord."</p> - -<p>"Ranmut!" Matlin cried.</p> - -<p>"Yesterday you took my place and won, though why you did not kill Felg, -I do not know." He grinned hopefully when Matlin's fingers did not -return to his throat. "Lord, I came seeking you."</p> - -<p>"You followed us all the way out here from Junction City last night?" -Matlin asked, amazed.</p> - -<p>"It was the least I could do. You saved my life, lord, and while the -life means nothing, is but one pathway among many, nevertheless this -lowborn like many has a family and even if I go on to a higher pathway -that wouldn't help my wife and children, who probably would have -starved. Therefore, lord, am I thankful."</p> - -<p>"You followed just to tell me this?"</p> - -<p>"No, lord. Last night Felg was very angry. When you left the bar with -this lovely lady, Felg came after you."</p> - -<p>Matlin looked at Haazahri. She nodded, said, "He would."</p> - -<p>"All the way to Balata 'kai?" Matlin asked.</p> - -<p>"Not this far, lord. The man Felg came as far as Haatok."</p> - -<p>"Don't tell me you were on the same bus with us?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. And Felg also. Then, last night, after reading the newspaper, -Felg rushed back to Junction City. I have saved the newspaper, lord," -Ranmut said proudly.</p> - -<p>"Saved it?"</p> - -<p>"I took the liberty of following Felg back to the bus station. He -deposited the newspaper in a trash receptacle. He had marked something."</p> - -<p>"Let me see that," Matlin urged as he heard the rustle of paper. Ranmut -spread a crumpled sheet before him on the sand and he saw that a small -part of the first column was circled in red.</p> - -<p>He read, his heart thumping against his ribs: "... professor of -archaeology at Kedak College. Ser Gawroi believes this Matlin to be the -missing Earth scientist, Philip Rhodes. While the police maintain that -Rhodes is harboring some unspecified material deemed not in the best -interests of Kedak, Ser Gawroi would not comment on this. 'Rhodes,' the -archaeologist said, 'was a colleague. If Rhodes is sick and needs help, -we'll have to find him.'</p> - -<p>"No reason was given as to why the alleged Earthman was seen in the -streets of Junction City last night, to all appearances a native of -Kedak. His name, according to Gawroi, is Matlin. If anyone has any -knowledge of...."</p> - -<p>Then Haazahri took the paper and read it. She returned it to Ranmut, -her hand trembling. "Do you know Gawroi?" she asked Matlin.</p> - -<p>"No."</p> - -<p>"An Earthman? Do you think that's what you are—purple skin or not?"</p> - -<p>"Don't look at me like that," Matlin said, smiling. "Earthmen are human -too. Just as human as Kedaki."</p> - -<p>"I know, but—"</p> - -<p>"Yes, I think I'm an Earthman. I think I'm this Philip Rhodes. I—"</p> - -<p>"Oh, Matlin! Then you remember?"</p> - -<p>"No, but there have been other things—no time to go into them now...." -Quotis, he thought. The Arcturan doctor. There had been no mention of -Quotis, but there should have been. It was as if the Kedaki authorities -and this Gawroi wanted to ease Quotis out of the picture, and Matlin -did not like that. Why? Why shouldn't Quotis have been contacted? -Quotis knew more about Matlin than anyone did. Gawroi disturbed him -more than the police. He sensed that he knew the Kedaki archaeologist. -Besides, if Gawroi's purpose for finding Rhodes had not been sinister, -wouldn't he seek Quotis for whatever help the Arcturan could offer?</p> - -<p>"It means something to you, lord?" Ranmut asked, indicating the -newspaper.</p> - -<p>When Matlin answered, his words were addressed to Haazahri. "Tell me, -would your friend Felg go to the police or to this Gawroi?"</p> - -<p>"Felg would avoid the police if he could. Do you trust this Gawroi?"</p> - -<p>"No," said Matlin promptly, not bothering to give his reason.</p> - -<p>"Then you think Felg and the archaeologist are now in league against -you?"</p> - -<p>Matlin nodded, grasped Ranmut's shoulders. "Ranmut," he said, "I don't -have to tell you you've done enough for us already. You came all the -way out here to help, and—"</p> - -<p>"I have done nothing, lord. Last night you saved my life, for my -family."</p> - -<p>"Do you wish to stay at Balata 'kai?"</p> - -<p>"We lowborn are told Balata 'kai is a frightful place," said Ranmut, -shaking his head dolefully. "We lowborn are told it is most dangerous -for us to approach this shrine."</p> - -<p>"And still you came," Matlin marveled. "Will you leave now?"</p> - -<p>Ranmut shuffled his feet in the sand. "I'll stay if the Lord Matlin -wishes."</p> - -<p>But Matlin shook his head. "By all means go back."</p> - -<p>"If the Lord needs me—"</p> - -<p>"No, you can deliver a message for me in Junction City. In the Arcturan -hospital, to a Dr. Quotis. Tell him that his patient Matlin is seeking -his lost memory at Balata 'kai. Show him the newspaper article and say -for certain reasons Matlin does not trust the archaeologist Gawroi. -And tell him Matlin has not gone to the police because first he must -find something which the police don't want him to find. Ask Quotis to -contact the Earth authorities in Junction City, if he thinks that best. -You'll do this?"</p> - -<p>"Of course, lord," Ranmut said simply, and bowed.</p> - -<p>"And don't do that. Don't bow. You're a man, Ranmut. You're as good a -man as I am, or Felg, or anyone."</p> - -<p>"Yes, lord," said Ranmut doubtfully. He smiled shyly at Haazahri, then -Matlin offered his hand and Ranmut shook it solemnly and trudged back -across the sands on his long walk to Haatok.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Ranmut was in luck, for a bus was just arriving that would soon take -him back to Junction City. He jingled the few remaining denebs in his -pocket thinking, proudly, that he had not asked Matlin for money. He -owed the strange-talking highborn Kedaki this much: he would defend the -message to the alien Quotis with his life if necessary, and it seemed -ridiculous to ask money for it, even for the bus fare to Junction City.</p> - -<p>He stood in the dusty throngs on the raised sidewalk alongside the bus -while its passengers stepped onto the ramp, stretched themselves and -claimed their baggage. Suddenly, he froze. Two men came through the -wide bus doors together. The very large man he did not know, but the -reasonably large one he did. The reasonably large one was Felg and -Ranmut turned away quickly, trying to push his way through the crowd. -But Ranmut was a small, slender man, and arms, legs and bodies could -easily detain him. It was very hot there, and he began to sweat. He -felt the sweat streaming from his face, dampening his armpits, coursing -down his sides and flanks. He pushed and struggled in the pressing -crowd, and the ranks of the indifferent, as if in league with his -enemies, closed in.</p> - -<p>"Careful, lowborn!" an indignant Kedaki woman chirped, and Ranmut -offered her an obsequious smile, then helplessly felt the surging -crowd, pushing forward now to find seats on the bus, turning him so -that he faced Felg and the man who must be Gawroi.</p> - -<p>The two highborn Kedaki were just alighting from the bus, their feet -touching down on the section of the ramp which had been roped off for -disembarking passengers. Gawroi said something, and Felg answered. -They were very close. They were far closer than Ranmut had realized. -Then Felg pointed and his finger, unwavering, speared air in Ranmut's -direction. Ranmut tried to make himself very small. Sweat beaded his -brow, stung his eyes. He wanted to disappear into his mean clothing. -Felg pointed again and walked quickly with Gawroi to the rear of the -crowd, where Ranmut lost them.</p> - -<p>Several minutes later, the crowd had swept him to the doors of the -bus. He held his three denebs overhead in one wet hand, waiting for -the conductor to exchange them for a ticket to Junction City. Heads -taller than his were everywhere. He could not see the conductor. Then -something plucked the three denebs from his hand and a smile of relief -lit his woe-begotten features momentarily. He expected to feel the bus -ticket thrust between his fingers, where he would clutch it almost -lovingly. It did not matter that the bus was already crowded and he -would have standing room all the way back to Junction City. It mattered -only that Felg had not pointed in his direction, that by now Felg and -the archaeologist Gawroi were gone from the depot, and....</p> - -<p>A hand closed on his elbow. A voice hissed in his ear: "This way, -Ranmut." He knew the voice, and despaired. It was Felg.</p> - -<p>They took him quickly from the bus station and thence across the hot -dusty streets of Haatok to a small hotel where a sleepy-eyed desk -clerk admitted them, gave them a big brass key and went back to doing -absolutely nothing and wishing he could do less without even seeing -their faces. Ranmut wanted to scream out for help, but the hotel clerk -would be no help at all. Ranmut allowed them, Felg and the man Gawroi, -to lead him upstairs to a small, dingy room with scabbing walls and a -dirty floor and a faintly foul smell. Gawroi, who had held his elbow -all the way from the bus station, flung him across the room as Felg -shut the door. He fell on the bed and he did not weigh much, but the -bed collapsed under him. At another time, it would have been very funny.</p> - -<p>"What are you doing in Haatok?" Felg snapped.</p> - -<p>He got up. Felg pushed him and he fell on the mattress and remained -there.</p> - -<p>"What are you doing in Haatok?"</p> - -<p>He was not glib. He had never been glib. He could think of absolutely -no answer, no fiction to substitute for the truth. He remained silent. -Something rustled as he leaned uncomfortably on his left side. It was -the newspaper with the circled article. If Felg found that, Felg would -know. So, Felg must not find it. He shifted his weight to that side, -trying to cover the telltale edge of paper protruding from his pocket.</p> - -<p>"What are you doing?" Felg said.</p> - -<p>He rolled over. The paper rustled. He wanted to scream.</p> - -<p>Felg took hold of his arm and dragged him to his feet. The other man, -Gawroi, merely stood and watched. Felg was going to get the newspaper, -Ranmut knew. He broke away and ran toward the door. Felg stuck his foot -out and Ranmut fell over it headlong, skidding across the dirty floor -to the door, where he lay in a heap. Directly in front of his face was -Gawroi's large shoe, the toe under his chin. But Gawroi's shoe did not -move.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Felg reached down and got the newspaper. His face became dark with -blood when he saw it. He pulled Ranmut to his feet and shook the paper -before his face and bellowed, "Where did you get this?"</p> - -<p>"In the bus depot, lord."</p> - -<p>Felg thrust Ranmut back toward the broken bed and showed the newspaper -to Gawroi. "I marked it. It's my paper," he admitted.</p> - -<p>"That was clumsy of you, wasn't it?" Gawroi said. He had a powerful -voice, but there seemed to be very little concern in it, as if whatever -happened hardly mattered to him at all. "So now Rhodes knows you're -after him."</p> - -<p>"You think this slave told Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"Look at him. Dust-covered. Can't you see he's been on the desert, -Felg? Can't you see anything?"</p> - -<p>"Yes," Felg grumbled. "Then what can we do?"</p> - -<p>Instead of answering, Gawroi said to Ranmut: "You realize we can do -with you as we wish. No one knows we brought you here. The hotel clerk -saw nothing. What sort of errand are you running for Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"Who," said Ranmut, "is Rhodes?"</p> - -<p>"For Matlin."</p> - -<p>Ranmut said nothing.</p> - -<p>Felg growled, "We can break the bones in your body one at a time, you -fool!"</p> - -<p>"Yes, lord," said Ranmut meekly, speaking to gain courage from the -sound of his own voice.</p> - -<p>"But we won't do anything of the sort," Gawroi said. "Why should we? -Listen."</p> - -<p>A rumbling sound could be heard in the street. It became a growl and -then a loud smooth purr of power. "The bus to Junction City," Gawroi -said. "The only bus. What can this fellow do here in Haatok."</p> - -<p>"He can go to the police."</p> - -<p>"Who are seeking Matlin? Don't be ridiculous."</p> - -<p>"Well, I don't trust him."</p> - -<p>"Did I say I trusted him? But it doesn't matter, if he's quite -helpless."</p> - -<p>"Alive, he isn't helpless."</p> - -<p>Gawroi said, "Violence satisfies a certain need in you, doesn't it? Do -you want to hurt this little fellow? Is that what you wish? I have no -interest in the matter, but I am ready to go to Balata 'kai."</p> - -<p>"Alive, he isn't helpless," Felg repeated.</p> - -<p>Ranmut did not let the relief show on his face. Words now, just words. -They were going to let him go. And somehow, for the first time in his -life, he wanted to live. It was very important that he lived. He had no -wish to die. Because he did not believe? In truth, he could not tell -himself that. Because he had always been a good man, if a lowborn, and -had no desire for reincarnation if the highborn were men such as Felg -and Gawroi? Something of that passed through his mind, but it was not -altogether clear. I'm going to live, he thought. After all, I'm going -to live. And he allowed himself the luxury of a slow smile. The smile -dropped from his face when Gawroi said:</p> - -<p>"All right, Felg. Do as you wish. I won't interfere with your pleasure. -But I'm going downstairs. I'm renting a sand-car to take us to Balata -'kai. I'll meet you outside."</p> - -<p>"Alive, he—"</p> - -<p>"Don't try to rationalize it for my benefit. Do as you wish. I have -utterly no interest in the matter." Gawroi gave Ranmut one final, -utterly indifferent look, and left the room. That look told Ranmut his -doom was sealed.</p> - -<p>He was small and weak and Felg was a strapping, strong highborn. Felg -said, when the door shut, "You had an extra day of life, for you should -have died by my mace."</p> - -<p>Ranmut said nothing.</p> - -<p>Felg said, "Are you happy? You probably led a life exemplary for its -lack of significance, as a lowborn should. You ought to be happy—your -next incarnation will be a higher one."</p> - -<p>"Please kill me if you are going to, lord," said Ranmut.</p> - -<p>"Don't you believe? Aren't you glad for the chance to die? What have -you to live for?" Beads of sweat stood out on Felg's forehead, and -Ranmut did not understand.</p> - -<p>"Kill me, lord. I won't resist, I won't prolong it."</p> - -<p>"Then you do believe?" demanded Felg softly, passionately, his fingers -closing on Ranmut's frail throat without applying pressure.</p> - -<p>"No, lord," said Ranmut. "I do not believe."</p> - -<p>"You've got to believe in reincarnation!" Felg screamed.</p> - -<p>"I no longer believe."</p> - -<p>"You must! Don't you see, you must?"</p> - -<p>"I only know that my belief fades like the leaves in autumn in deep -southern climes."</p> - -<p>"Believe!" screamed Felg.</p> - -<p>This was all madness to Ranmut. He waited for the fingers to tighten on -his throat, to constrict there. But they did not.</p> - -<p>"Believe!" The hands uncoiled, made weak fists and beat without -strength against Ranmut's chest, beat beseechingly. "I need your -belief!" Felg screamed, and, when next he spoke, he was sobbing with -bitterness and fear. "I need your belief, please oh please, I need it -to make my own belief strong. I need it, I need you, Ranmut, please, -you've got to believe, because you're a lowborn and you have nothing -to live for and if you don't believe then surely I, I can't believe -either and that leaves nothing.... Ranmut, Ranmut, I don't want to die, -Ranmut...."</p> - -<p>Despite everything, Ranmut felt himself engulfed by waves of pity. He -said, softly, "But you're not going to die, lord."</p> - -<p>Felg hit him and his eyes and nose stung, the hot blood trickling -from his nostrils. Then Felg sobbed and did not look at Ranmut again. -Sitting on the broken bed, Ranmut watched the big man lumber, sobbing, -from the room.</p> - -<p>Outside, a horn blew. Gawroi was waiting and Ranmut sensed that if Felg -were weak, Gawroi was strong. Together they were going to Balata 'kai -after Matlin and there was nothing that he, Ranmut, could do to warn -his friend that danger and possibly death was approaching across the -sun-scorched sands.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p class="ph1">CHAPTER IX</p> - - -<p>The walls glowed.</p> - -<p>They had come a long way, Matlin and Haazahri, through tunnels carved -in the soft, limey rock under the Balata 'kai ruins. The last signs -for tourists had long-since vanished behind them and the way would -have been totally dark but for the strangely glowing walls. Matlin -went confidently at a dog-trot. Occasionally he stopped while Haazahri -rested, and she saw the look on his face and never questioned him.</p> - -<p>He knew where he was going, without knowing how he knew. But he had -been this way before—seeking ... no, hiding. He had found something in -the ruins, in an airtight box which had preserved it as if it had been -left there yesterday and not five thousand years ago, and he had come -this way to hide it, because it needed safe-keeping until he was ready -for it....</p> - -<p>If he could only find it!</p> - -<p>For he knew that it held the key to his memory. A blow on the head, the -Arcturan physician Quotis had told him once, was not enough to destroy -memory. The blow was merely a trigger. Unconsciously, the victim of -amnesia wanted his memory destroyed, to forget something intolerable, -to hide something....</p> - -<p>To hide something. Prison. Dark, wet walls. Torture. Subtle -psychological torture. He held out, but couldn't hold out much -longer. The fire, the beams falling, the horrible burning. And -gladly surrendering memory because, miraculously, he had not died. -Surrendering memory to hide—what lay before him in these caverns! One -look, he thought as he ran, leaving Haazahri momentarily behind, and it -will all come surging back like the sea at ebb tide. One look and I'll -know not merely what it was I hid here, but the secrets of myself as -well.</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," he said.</p> - -<p>Abruptly he stopped. He was here and the walls glowed and he could see -but needed no vision for this.</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," he said again, and she came up to him. "We're here, -Haazahri," he said.</p> - -<p>The passage looked like all the others. He'd led the way to it -instinctively and knew that if he lost whatever instinct had guided his -feet, they would be lost in this labyrinth forever. But it did not seem -very important now. What was important had been hidden here, in this -cavern.</p> - -<p>"Where?" Haazahri asked. "Where is it, whatever you seek?"</p> - -<p>He touched the wall near her head and she heard a shifting, a grinding -of heavy stones. Part of the wall swung slowly to one side, revealing -a dark recess, a niche with walls that did not glow. Matlin thrust his -hands within the niche and took out a large, heavy book with a black, -unmarked cover. When he got it clear of the niche, he looked at it a -moment in the glowing cavern light and his eyes grew big and round and -the book dropped from his hands to the floor of the cavern. He stood -there, clutching his head with his hands and Haazahri cried:</p> - -<p>"What is it? What happened, Matlin?"</p> - -<p>The pain of returning memory thrust at him like a sharp knife, but was -not intolerable. He remembered! He remembered!</p> - -<p>"Rhodes," he said in a dream. "My name is Rhodes. Phil Rhodes, and -I'm an Earthman. They took me and they tortured me and I was going to -break. I must have known it, subconsciously. So I welcomed amnesia, as -the one way I could not reveal where I had hidden this. I had revealed -once the fact that I'd found it, to Gawroi, before I told the Earth -authorities. The Earth authorities still don't know, but when they do -know, when they see what has been found...."</p> - -<p>"But what is it?" Haazahri asked him.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He stooped, picking up the book. "Earth doesn't want to dictate to your -people, understand that. You are a sovereign people. But if in your -sovereignty a small percentage of you have used lies and fabrications -to enslave fifty generations of your people, and if Earth decides to do -something about that...."</p> - -<p>"But what is it?"</p> - -<p>With both hands, Rhodes held the big book over his head. His face shone -with triumph and he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, "<i>The Book -of the Dead</i>, Haazahri."</p> - -<p>She looked at it, and at him. Then abruptly she fell to her knees and -touched the floor with her face. "<i>The Book</i>," she said. "<i>The Book?</i> -You mean that?"</p> - -<p>"Haazahri, listen. You're important. You're very important. I knew it -would be dangerous coming here. Maybe, instinctively, that's why I let -you come with me. Because you're so important. You're a Kedaki, don't -you see? With a Kedaki's reactions. I know about this <i>Book</i>. It's -sacred. It's had five thousand years in hiding to become sacred. Even -your rulers today probably didn't know where it was. Excerpts only, -key passages out of context, remained from the days the book had been -hidden, remained to keep most of the Kedaki enslaved, chained to the -lies of metempsychosis.</p> - -<p>"I know, Haazahri. I know what it must be like. This book is the center -of everything you believe. Your loves and dreams and hopes. Right now -you must be telling yourself you ought to remain there, forever, your -face in the dust before it. <i>The Book of the Dead</i>, Haazahri! Well, the -<i>Book</i> is lies, do you understand? Lies! And I can prove it, the Earth -scientists here on Kedak can prove it to all your people. Listen to -me, Haazahri. This book doesn't explain the wonders of reincarnation, -as you thought it might. No, Haazahri! Although, out of context, what -material your leaders had might indicate that it did.</p> - -<p>"This book is a book of instructions for the ruling classes of Kedak, -through the unborn generations. The lies are explained, codified, -systematized. There is no doubt, nothing left to interpretation. Keep -them base, the book says. Keep them base and promise them a better -life in their next incarnation, and they'll obey you. That's the -cynical message of <i>The Book of the Dead</i>, Haazahri! Don't you see -the difference between this and the true religions, in their many -forms, of the other worlds? Yes, good behavior is rewarded, and -should be rewarded. But what is good behavior for the Kedaki lowborn? -Good behavior is merely servitude, slavery. And the reward which the -slave-masters hold out is one which, in the beginning, in this book, -they did not even believe themselves. It's a fiction, Haazahri! And -they say so. They say so here. Do you believe me?"</p> - -<p>For a long time Haazahri did not answer. When she did, her voice was -choked with sobs. "You ... you're an Earthman. You brought me out here -to ... test me with <i>The Book</i> and see ... not because you wanted -me ... not because you love me. Matlin, Matlin...."</p> - -<p>Rhodes said, "Stand up, Haazahri, and show me your face. Stand up, -Haazahri, and let me kiss your tears. And don't cry, Haazahri. There -isn't any reason to cry. Yes, I'm an Earthman. But I love you, -Haazahri; I love you—"</p> - -<p>She stood quickly and somehow he could sense that five thousand -years of dogma and superstition were slipping away as, in time, with -the passing of a generation perhaps, and with the understanding and -patience of the rest of the galaxy, they would slip away for all of -Kedak's peoples. She stood up boldly in the face of <i>The Book</i>, but -seemed shy. She said, "Then Matlin is no more?"</p> - -<p>"I am Matlin and more than Matlin. Matlin was only a part of me. But -you can call me Matlin, if you wish. All our lives."</p> - -<p>"Do <i>you</i> wish?"</p> - -<p>"It is not my name."</p> - -<p>"Philrhodes?"</p> - -<p>"It is customary," he said, smiling, "to use one half or the other."</p> - -<p>"Phil? Phil?" she breathed tremulously, and came into his arms. Then, -after a while, he tucked <i>The Book of the Dead</i> under one arm and her -hand under the other and started on the long trek back toward the -sunshine.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Daylight was very bright, dazzling them.</p> - -<p>"There they are!" a voice shouted, and Haazahri screamed:</p> - -<p>"It's Felg!"</p> - -<p>Rhodes said, "Watch the <i>Book</i>," and flung it to one side. They had -come out into the daylight on the high limestone crag which jutted -above the desert floor and Rhodes as yet could see no more than shadows -against the fierce sun. The shadows came apart and one went toward -Haazahri and the Book, and the other toward Rhodes. Tears sprang from -Rhodes' eyes in the effort to see. Neither man was armed. It seemed -right, somehow, that they battle for the <i>Book</i> which had been born -with the birth of a civilization, with their bare hands.</p> - -<p>Then he was closing with Felg and heard Haazahri scream and knew the -noise of their fighting would summon the guards, who would take the -<i>Book</i> from him.</p> - -<p>"My life!" screamed Felg hysterically. "You destroyed my life!"</p> - -<p>The words meant much to Felg, but meant nothing to Rhodes. Felg was -mad—and strong with the strength of madness.</p> - -<p>He forced Rhodes slowly back, and back meant toward the edge of the -precipice and Rhodes got a quick vision of it as he was spun around, -the world down there, far down, the tiny sand-car gleaming in the -sun and the long stretches of sand and far away the huddle of stone -structures that was Haatok gleaming in the sun. And then, still being -forced back, he saw Haazahri, sprawled on the sand before one of the -three great columns of the ruins of Balata 'kai. Blood trickled from -her mouth and she was not moving. Of <i>The Book of the Dead</i> and Gawroi -he saw nothing.</p> - -<p>Then his own madness matched and surpassed Felg's own. Haazahri, he -thought, Haazahri. His hands found Felg's throat and held there a -moment, but not long. He shifted them and got Felg's weight up and Felg -screamed a thin sound in the high air and then he sent Felg's body -hurtling down, the scream fading, over the precipice.</p> - -<p>He did not wait to see it land, but ran to Haazahri. He touched her -breast and she was warm, warm! her heart beating....</p> - -<p>"Haazahri," he murmured.</p> - -<p>Her eyelids fluttered. "Go after him! Quickly, for he has <i>The Book</i>. -I'll follow."</p> - -<p>He whirled and sprinted for the broken, ruined staircase on the side of -the cliff. Down it he went, tumbling, falling, sliding from rock-ledge -to rock-ledge. The staircase, what was left of it, turned and twisted, -and he could not see Gawroi below him.</p> - -<p>When finally he hit the hot sands of the desert he saw Gawroi's figure -ahead of him. Gawroi, running swiftly, and <i>The Book</i>! Heading for the -sand-car, swift, swift—</p> - -<p>And if Gawroi won the race, a people would remain in bondage. How long? -Another five thousand years?</p> - -<p>Gawroi looked over his shoulder once, redoubled his efforts. The sand -was hot and the wind whipped it at Rhodes' face, but he was closing -the gap rapidly on the ponderous Gawroi. Still, there was no time. -The distance was too great.... Gawroi stumbled, rolled over, lost <i>The -Book</i>, clutched it and began running again. Rhodes was closer, closer—</p> - -<p>And Gawroi flung himself into the sand-car.</p> - -<p>The engine growled, caught. The wheels spun in the sand, tractionless -at first. But soon their big treads gained traction, and the car leaped -forward with a surge of power.</p> - -<p>Defeat....</p> - -<p>But the car spun around, bore down on Rhodes. At the last moment he -realized what Gawroi was attempting. He knew too much and Gawroi wanted -to kill him.</p> - -<p>Gawroi was going to run him down.</p> - -<p>The car came screaming across the sand at him, whine of tires and whine -of over-heated motor and Gawroi's grim face, growing, growing....</p> - -<p>Rhodes flung himself aside, then leaped. His hands caught the side of -the open car, clung there even though it felt as if his arms would be -wrenched from their sockets. He had a quick glimpse of a dot which was -Haazahri working her way down the staircase on the side of the cliff -and another—a guard—pursuing her. Then he pulled himself up into the -sand-car and was grappling with Gawroi.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>They fought, and the wheel was forgotten, the car lurching from side -to side across the sand. The cliff blurred ahead of them. How fast -were they going? Seventy miles an hour? Eighty? If they struck at that -speed....</p> - -<p>Gawroi was a man possessed. He didn't care. If the crash would destroy -<i>The Book of the Dead</i>, destroy Rhodes, who knew of <i>The Book</i>, it was -enough.</p> - -<p>Rhodes pushed flank against flank in the narrow front seat of the open -sand car. Gawroi's hands tore at his face, ripping skin and flesh. All -Gawroi needed was a few seconds, and it would all be over. Gawroi, who -was fighting for an idea, fighting to preserve a five thousand year -lie. And Rhodes, who was fighting that a people might live, after five -thousand years....</p> - -<p>Abruptly Gawroi tumbled from the car, clawing at air and screaming -before he hit the sand at terrible speed, rolling and tumbling and -coming to rest with his head at an impossible angle.</p> - -<p>Then Rhodes was battling the car, and for a time which seemed extended -over a yawning gap of infinity, he did not know if he would be able to -bring it under control in time. The base of the cliff loomed. He could -not see above it. He stamped on the brake and still the cliff blurred -at him. He felt himself flung forward....</p> - -<p>And gazed at the wall of rock, two feet in front of the now motionless -car.</p> - -<p>In a daze, he watched Haazahri climb in beside him. Close by a guard -was shouting something; in the car, Haazahri was saying something about -his cut and bleeding face.</p> - -<p>The guard would find Felg, his body broken from the fall; would find -Gawroi, his neck broken. The guard would summon help.</p> - -<p>But by that time, Rhodes knew, <i>The Book of the Dead</i> would be in safe -hands. Ever since the earthquake, thieves had been looting Balata 'kai. -They were thieves in the eyes of the guard, only that. There was no -reason for special pursuit and, in Gawroi's sand-car, they would reach -Junction City.</p> - -<p>And the pages of <i>The Book of the Dead</i> would be flung open for all the -worlds to see. A generation might pass before the Kedaki could assume -their rightful place in the civilized community of worlds, a generation -in which the kind of thinking that had put Rhodes in a prison cell must -be stamped out.</p> - -<p>But in the end, the Kedaki would know freedom, and a mingling with the -peoples of the other worlds.</p> - -<p>He started the sand-car. Haazahri smiled at him, and kissed his -bleeding face. And the love between him and this girl of the Kedaki was -a symbol....</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOREVER WE DIE! ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ -concept and trademark. 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