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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Sganarelle
+       or The Self-Deceived Husband
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Posting Date: April 18, 2013 [EBook #6681]
+Release Date: October, 2004
+First Posted: January 12, 2003
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE
+
+COMÉDIE EN UN ACTE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND.
+
+A COMEDY IN ONE ACT.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+28TH MAY, 1660.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+Six months after the brilliant success of the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_, Molière brought out at the Théâtre du Petit-Bourbon a new
+comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have
+translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has
+been said that Molière owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian
+farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as
+it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time
+whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to
+many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Molière has also been inspired
+by such old authors as Noël Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze
+joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and
+perhaps others.
+
+The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle
+becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof
+both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and
+the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst
+his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is
+extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to
+show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in
+those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the
+view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of
+humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the
+play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept
+the court from Paris.
+
+The style is totally different from that employed in the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style
+gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Molière lived. He has often been
+blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Molière did not want to
+make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose
+with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which
+provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition.
+
+Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the
+farce, or rather sketch, of the _Médecin volant_, where in reality
+nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in
+Sganarelle Molière has created a character that is his own just as much
+as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or
+Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the
+father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker,
+a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an
+antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened
+character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting,
+mean, morose, odd qualities. Molière was, at the time he wrote
+_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore
+no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant
+of the _Blunderer_.
+
+This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so
+smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he
+knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a
+running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to
+a friend in which he extols its beauties. Molière got, in 1663, his name
+inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilége du
+roi_.
+
+Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of
+M. de Molière, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme
+[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme,
+mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created
+a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector
+outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:--
+
+MADAM,
+
+Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high
+Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste
+for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliére's_
+Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be,
+I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along
+with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal.
+
+Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps,
+the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one
+Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person,
+Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the
+Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of
+Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me
+to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is
+lovely.
+
+My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am
+obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this
+Presumption in,
+
+MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_
+
+H. B.
+
+Enfield,
+
+Jan. 1st 1731-2.
+
+
+This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate
+it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be
+Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain.
+According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular
+entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance.
+The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the
+time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several
+offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who
+had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is
+performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliére's
+_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make
+the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the
+title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious
+opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth
+act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Cæsar and Cleopatra, has
+a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by
+itself."
+
+With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate
+and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of
+Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit,
+when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his
+entertainments of music and perspective in scenes.
+
+The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the
+Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677.
+London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in
+the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677."
+This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to
+the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two
+French comedies---viz., Molière's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas
+Corneille's _Don César d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be
+quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This
+play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very
+coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a
+credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at
+times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is,
+of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of
+Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she
+tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of
+the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the
+stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading
+the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a
+"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman,
+servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio.
+Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd,
+and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille.
+
+In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs. Essence speaks
+the following lines:
+
+  "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see,
+  Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie
+  In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear,
+  Most of you have more cause to be severe.
+  We yield you are the truest Character."
+
+
+Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Molière's
+_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced.
+
+_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at
+the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians,
+acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London,
+Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at
+the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third
+imitation of Molière's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two
+gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy,
+who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common
+Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success,
+and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author
+states in the prologue:--
+
+  "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage,
+  Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage,
+  Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms,
+  By you protected, shall display their Charms...
+  No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms,
+  That impious way of being dull he scorns;
+  No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind,
+  And poison what for Pleasure was designed."
+
+
+Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in
+the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act,
+are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to
+subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only
+remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of
+Molière's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The
+scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and
+lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of
+making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many
+others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The
+Blunderer_, of Gros-René from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the
+servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering
+uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir
+Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able
+to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio
+disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his
+love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the
+mistress. Molière's farce has been lengthened by those means into a
+five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is
+more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be
+called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the
+reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_.
+
+_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by
+Js. Miller, is founded on Molière, and is the fourth imitation of
+_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free
+translation of Molière's, interspersed with some songs set to music by
+Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common
+councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-René, John
+Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by
+Mr. Havard, ends thus:
+
+  "...To-night we serve
+  A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve;
+  A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made
+  As mad, as by the common Course of Trade:
+  And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance,
+  He's carbonado'd a la mode de France;
+  Cook'd by Molière, great Master of his Trade,
+  From whose Receipt this Harrico was made.
+  But if that poignant Taste we fail to take,
+  That something, that a mere Receipt can't make;
+  Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all,
+  And want the Spirit of th' Original."
+
+
+The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_,
+a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761,
+at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several
+of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are
+well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue,
+written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows:
+
+  "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit,
+  Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse  for Wit;
+
+[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the
+summer months.]
+
+  The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers;
+  Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers!
+  We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe
+  To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe.
+  Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn,
+  For we promise to mangle no works but our own.
+  And moreover on this you may firmly rely,
+  If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry.
+  For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls,
+  Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls.
+  Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk,
+  He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk.
+  No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone,
+  Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun.
+    If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill,
+  There should be but one female inclined to sit still;
+  If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall,
+  A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall;
+  If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick,
+  The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick;
+  If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June,
+  Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune;
+  I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury;
+  We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you;
+  Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares;
+  English cloths, Irish linnen, and  French petenlairs!
+    If for want of good custom, or losses in trade,
+  The poetical partners should bankrupts be made;
+  If from dealings too large, we  plunge deeply in debt,
+  And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette;
+  We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call;
+  Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all."
+
+
+Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed
+at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Molière; namely: one
+scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for
+Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_.
+
+The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162,
+about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation
+between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_.
+
+Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Molière's _Sganarelle_, which was
+performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not
+been printed.
+
+There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733,
+called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of
+_Sganarelle_.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
+
+
+GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_.
+
+LELIO, _in love with Celia_.
+
+SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_.
+
+[Footnote: Molière acted this part himself. In the inventory of his
+dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulié in his
+_Recherches sur Molière_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the
+_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak,
+collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."]
+
+VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valère_.
+
+GROS-RENÉ, _servant to Lelio_.
+
+A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_.
+
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND,
+
+(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.)
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never
+expect my heart to consent to that.
+
+GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose
+you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you?
+And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish
+arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of
+us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is
+advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may
+feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still
+possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept
+without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say,
+"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about
+it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large
+fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else?
+Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be
+beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he
+will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman!
+
+CEL. Alas!
+
+GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that?
+A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a
+passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This
+comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head
+is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God
+much less than of Clélie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous
+books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people;
+instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of
+Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu,
+
+[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished
+diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which
+the _Cinquante quatrains contenant préceptes et enseignements utiles
+pour la vie de l'homme, composes à l'imitation de Phocylides,
+Epicharmus, et autres poétes grecs_, and which number he afterwards
+increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of
+four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several
+Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in
+1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.]
+
+[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet
+wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort,
+quatrains de la Vanité du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral
+quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published
+separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name
+_Tablettes_.]
+
+a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart;
+the Guide for Sinners
+
+[Footnote: _La guide des pécheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a
+translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de
+pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.]
+
+is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to
+spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such
+moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands.
+
+CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable
+affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand
+against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him.
+
+GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his
+appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty
+fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money,
+that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it
+everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of
+Valère, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as
+a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally
+supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I
+am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command.
+A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of
+your foolish complaints. This evening Valère intends to visit you, and
+if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall...
+but I will say no more on this subject.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would
+accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for
+marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear!
+Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much
+entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once,
+believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's
+tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he
+said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings
+closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it."
+Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have
+found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive
+my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes
+sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant
+times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth
+of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets
+appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In
+short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night
+by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God
+bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze.
+
+CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take
+up with this ill-shaped fellow?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time
+he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in
+his affection.
+
+GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me
+by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face;
+they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly
+believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here
+limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged.
+
+MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are
+right to regard tenderly.
+
+CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me.
+                          (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.)
+
+MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make
+haste! help! help!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. What is the matter? I am here.
+
+MAID. My lady is dying.
+
+SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was
+at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not
+say one word.
+
+MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her
+so long.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all
+over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer
+and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I
+perceive still some signs of life.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My
+husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me
+most certainly; I should be glad to catch him.
+
+SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the
+wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a
+body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_.
+
+
+He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my
+curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little
+I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he
+returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch
+reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their
+pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent
+to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very
+much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness,
+and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the
+law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That
+would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would
+please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let
+fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel
+of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was
+nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I
+see my wife.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a
+miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this
+she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A
+very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more
+beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the
+gold! Oh, how sweet it smells!
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized!
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a
+charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he
+should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why
+have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby,
+my clod-hopper...?
+
+SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I
+caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling
+husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well
+considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name
+(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for?
+Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this
+air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for
+which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own
+delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy
+your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though
+you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means...
+
+SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact
+is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I
+complain of.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me
+more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep
+this pretty thing; consider...
+
+SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck.
+I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much
+as I have the copy.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Why?
+
+SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong
+to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received.
+(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling,
+the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the
+merry blade with whom...
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on.
+
+SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation.
+
+[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French
+word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified
+formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something
+like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3:
+  "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy;
+  Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."]
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this?
+
+SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any
+longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor
+Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I
+shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus?
+
+SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean.
+
+SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head
+is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite
+her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the
+effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before
+known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the
+quarrel.
+
+SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of
+this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses,
+tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture,
+and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and
+runs away_).
+
+SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in
+spite of you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENÉ.
+
+
+GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should
+like you to tell me one thing.
+
+LEL. Well, speak.
+
+GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink
+under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding
+long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on
+confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my
+part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a
+worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention.
+And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well
+and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel.
+
+LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the
+report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before
+everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour.
+
+GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to
+discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would
+become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge
+by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets
+hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul
+can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it.
+Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify
+you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow
+from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine.
+
+[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the
+Forgery_. The Parasite of Phæaedromus, who gave his name to the
+piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is
+bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with
+my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram
+down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are
+the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized
+cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."]
+
+LEL. I cannot eat.
+
+GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true
+may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be
+ready presently.
+
+LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you.
+
+GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order!
+
+LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy.
+
+GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish
+love-affair engrosses all your thoughts.
+
+[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_
+(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following:
+  _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
+  _Val_. I have dined.
+  _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can
+  feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would
+  fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.]
+
+LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and
+without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like.
+
+GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has
+promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love
+that I need not despair.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_).
+I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the
+rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what
+then must I believe?
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is
+doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio
+observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_).
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair
+hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding
+up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they
+will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has
+printed upon my forehead.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade!
+
+[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the
+masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it
+is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."]
+
+were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The
+wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a
+monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow...
+
+LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_).
+I am not mistaken; it is my very picture.
+
+SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very
+inquisitive.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised.
+
+SGAN. What would he be at?
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I...
+(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with
+you.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to
+tell me now?
+
+LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your
+hands?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking...
+(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my
+word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his
+surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man.
+
+LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by...
+
+SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which
+causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the
+hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which
+have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell
+whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this
+piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an
+intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy
+bonds of wedlock...
+
+LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge...
+
+SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband.
+
+LEL. Her husband?
+
+SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry;
+you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform
+her relatives about this affair.
+
+[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband
+very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays
+and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words,
+_mari_ and _marri_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was
+the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn
+me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have
+felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured
+me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the
+fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent
+effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good
+lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away.
+
+LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly.
+
+SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until
+you are better.
+
+LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a
+little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does
+not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever
+be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved.
+
+SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it.
+
+REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this
+picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man?
+Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I
+shall be one of the first to punish her offence.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed
+cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the
+perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not
+at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me
+endeavour then by care...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of
+her house, with_ LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can
+be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the
+very man, in _propria persona_.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly,
+you may perhaps have a return of your illness.
+
+LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have
+rendered me.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him.
+(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me
+with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my
+sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success
+that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too
+happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary
+speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head.
+(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have
+not acted at all like an honourable man.
+
+CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio.
+Why does he conceal his return from me?
+
+SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having
+so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a
+disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too
+clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion.
+Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with
+my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have
+knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to
+satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry,
+"Stop, thief of my honour!"
+
+CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this
+gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you?
+
+SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife.
+
+CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind?
+
+SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me
+to breathe plenty of sighs.
+
+CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief?
+
+SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not
+to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the
+model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him;
+but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my
+reputation also.
+
+CEL. How do they do that?
+
+SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your
+presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a
+private interview between him and my wife.
+
+CEL. What? He who just now...
+
+SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with
+my wife, and my wife is in love with him.
+
+CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only
+concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad
+foreboding of what would happen.
+
+SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is
+not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my
+sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me.
+
+CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment
+be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live,
+after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible?
+
+SGAN. It is but too true.
+
+CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch!
+
+SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature!
+
+CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently
+for your guilt!
+
+SGAN. How well she talks!
+
+CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness!
+
+SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah!
+
+CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being
+treated with such insult and contempt.
+
+SGAN. That's true.
+
+CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the
+thought of it without feeling on the rack.
+
+SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very
+soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune.
+
+CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit
+down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order
+to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish
+to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act.
+Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a
+fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted
+me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour.
+
+[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist
+La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired
+captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate
+with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to
+fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock
+in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then
+coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order
+to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his
+hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.]
+
+I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold
+people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four
+steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks
+as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping
+one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow.
+
+[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be
+rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos
+comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags'
+antlers."]
+
+I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly
+prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten;
+a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour
+tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage
+as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who
+listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an
+ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when
+the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my
+honour, shall you be the better of it.
+
+[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_.
+v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.]
+
+The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who
+are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that
+it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is
+there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape?
+The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a
+delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle
+woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own
+crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are
+blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue
+with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our
+backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a
+villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice.
+Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like
+them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness
+sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must
+stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no
+foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above
+sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she
+likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am
+not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little.
+Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about
+it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but
+a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I
+should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting
+his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up
+here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the
+better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too!
+I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the
+passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning,
+I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can
+freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage
+contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my
+duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you
+order me.
+
+GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am
+so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people
+not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me
+embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter
+whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the
+satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. This change surprises me.
+
+CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it.
+
+MAID. Perhaps so.
+
+CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous
+behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without...
+
+MAID. Here he comes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell
+you that...
+
+CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again?
+
+LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should
+not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and
+laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you
+have reason to be proud.
+
+CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the
+thought of my happiness may disturb you.
+
+LEL. Why this outbreak of passion?
+
+CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pié_, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my
+honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and
+then you will require no further answer.
+
+LEL. Ah! I see.
+
+CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you.
+
+LEL. It ought rather to make you blush.
+
+SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage
+is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have
+sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him
+I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching
+Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust...
+
+LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge?
+
+SGAN. Against no one.
+
+LEL. Why are you thus in armour?
+
+SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah!
+what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up
+courage to do it.
+
+LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey?
+
+SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping
+himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice!
+Chicken-hearted poltroon!
+
+CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to
+offend you.
+
+LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness
+that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can
+be found.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage?
+
+CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel:
+courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one
+noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned.
+
+LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle,
+who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and
+retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show
+my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the
+lovely choice you have made.
+
+CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed.
+
+LEL. You do well to defend it.
+
+SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have
+done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain;
+were I less discreet, much blood would be shed.
+
+LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this...
+
+SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches
+me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that
+my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not
+acting like a good Christian.
+
+LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples
+on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being
+in love with...
+
+CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble!
+
+LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his
+mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action?
+
+CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you.
+
+SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can,
+and have treated the matter in the right way.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that
+I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on.
+There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better
+employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone.
+
+CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough.
+
+[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words,
+but they are clearly Celia's.]
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and
+scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing
+your gallant.
+
+CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards
+Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad
+of it.
+
+LEL. What can be the meaning of this?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be
+unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but
+the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere
+at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one
+after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse
+this lady of?
+
+LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I
+heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an
+irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but
+discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married.
+
+MAID. Married! To whom?
+
+LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him.
+
+MAID. How! to him?
+
+LEL. Yes, to him.
+
+MAID. Who told you so?
+
+LEL. Himself, this very day.
+
+MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true?
+
+SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife.
+
+LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved.
+
+SGAN. True, here it is.
+
+LEL. (_To Sganarelle_). You also told me that she, from whose hands
+you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds
+of wedlock.
+
+SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from
+her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found
+this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without
+telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to
+Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then
+discover that he was the original of the picture.
+
+CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when
+swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into
+the house.
+
+MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and
+that you had some need of hellebore.
+
+[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or
+_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.]
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much
+frightened for my brow.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable
+credulity may be, I am both to be deceived.
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to
+be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours;
+accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be
+so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger!
+Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment
+complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself
+to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made
+a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him
+coming.
+
+LEL. He shall keep his word with me.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE,
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same
+ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love.
+
+GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same
+ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's
+very humble servant.
+
+LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations?
+
+GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too.
+
+CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him.
+
+GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now
+you were very kindly disposed towards Valère, but you change quickly...
+I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the
+marriage.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE,
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin?
+
+VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and
+which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with
+you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived
+everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise.
+Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible
+for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you....
+
+GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valère has married some one else without
+your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago,
+promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that
+his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her.
+
+VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much.
+
+LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss.
+
+GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding.
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think
+himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest
+probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember,
+never to believe anything even if you should see everything.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Sganarelle
+       or The Self-Deceived Husband
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Posting Date: April 18, 2013 [EBook #6681]
+Release Date: October, 2004
+First Posted: January 12, 2003
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE
+
+COMEDIE EN UN ACTE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND.
+
+A COMEDY IN ONE ACT.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+28TH MAY, 1660.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+Six months after the brilliant success of the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_, Moliere brought out at the Theatre du Petit-Bourbon a new
+comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have
+translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has
+been said that Moliere owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian
+farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as
+it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time
+whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to
+many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Moliere has also been inspired
+by such old authors as Noel Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze
+joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and
+perhaps others.
+
+The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle
+becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof
+both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and
+the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst
+his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is
+extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to
+show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in
+those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the
+view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of
+humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the
+play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept
+the court from Paris.
+
+The style is totally different from that employed in the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style
+gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Moliere lived. He has often been
+blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Moliere did not want to
+make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose
+with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which
+provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition.
+
+Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the
+farce, or rather sketch, of the _Medecin volant_, where in reality
+nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in
+Sganarelle Moliere has created a character that is his own just as much
+as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or
+Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the
+father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker,
+a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an
+antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened
+character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting,
+mean, morose, odd qualities. Moliere was, at the time he wrote
+_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore
+no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant
+of the _Blunderer_.
+
+This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so
+smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he
+knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a
+running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to
+a friend in which he extols its beauties. Moliere got, in 1663, his name
+inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilege du
+roi_.
+
+Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of
+M. de Moliere, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme
+[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme,
+mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created
+a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector
+outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:--
+
+MADAM,
+
+Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high
+Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste
+for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliere's_
+Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be,
+I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along
+with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal.
+
+Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps,
+the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one
+Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person,
+Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the
+Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of
+Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me
+to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is
+lovely.
+
+My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am
+obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this
+Presumption in,
+
+MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_
+
+H. B.
+
+Enfield,
+
+Jan. 1st 1731-2.
+
+
+This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate
+it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be
+Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain.
+According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular
+entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance.
+The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the
+time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several
+offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who
+had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is
+performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliere's
+_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make
+the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the
+title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious
+opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth
+act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Caesar and Cleopatra, has
+a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by
+itself."
+
+With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate
+and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of
+Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit,
+when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his
+entertainments of music and perspective in scenes.
+
+The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the
+Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677.
+London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in
+the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677."
+This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to
+the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two
+French comedies---viz., Moliere's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas
+Corneille's _Don Cesar d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be
+quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This
+play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very
+coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a
+credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at
+times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is,
+of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of
+Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she
+tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of
+the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the
+stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading
+the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a
+"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman,
+servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio.
+Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd,
+and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille.
+
+In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs. Essence speaks
+the following lines:
+
+  "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see,
+  Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie
+  In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear,
+  Most of you have more cause to be severe.
+  We yield you are the truest Character."
+
+
+Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Moliere's
+_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced.
+
+_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at
+the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians,
+acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London,
+Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at
+the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third
+imitation of Moliere's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two
+gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy,
+who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common
+Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success,
+and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author
+states in the prologue:--
+
+  "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage,
+  Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage,
+  Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms,
+  By you protected, shall display their Charms...
+  No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms,
+  That impious way of being dull he scorns;
+  No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind,
+  And poison what for Pleasure was designed."
+
+
+Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in
+the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act,
+are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to
+subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only
+remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of
+Moliere's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The
+scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and
+lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of
+making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many
+others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The
+Blunderer_, of Gros-Rene from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the
+servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering
+uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir
+Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able
+to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio
+disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his
+love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the
+mistress. Moliere's farce has been lengthened by those means into a
+five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is
+more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be
+called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the
+reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_.
+
+_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by
+Js. Miller, is founded on Moliere, and is the fourth imitation of
+_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free
+translation of Moliere's, interspersed with some songs set to music by
+Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common
+councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-Rene, John
+Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by
+Mr. Havard, ends thus:
+
+  "...To-night we serve
+  A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve;
+  A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made
+  As mad, as by the common Course of Trade:
+  And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance,
+  He's carbonado'd a la mode de France;
+  Cook'd by Moliere, great Master of his Trade,
+  From whose Receipt this Harrico was made.
+  But if that poignant Taste we fail to take,
+  That something, that a mere Receipt can't make;
+  Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all,
+  And want the Spirit of th' Original."
+
+
+The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_,
+a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761,
+at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several
+of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are
+well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue,
+written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows:
+
+  "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit,
+  Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse  for Wit;
+
+[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the
+summer months.]
+
+  The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers;
+  Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers!
+  We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe
+  To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe.
+  Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn,
+  For we promise to mangle no works but our own.
+  And moreover on this you may firmly rely,
+  If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry.
+  For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls,
+  Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls.
+  Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk,
+  He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk.
+  No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone,
+  Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun.
+    If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill,
+  There should be but one female inclined to sit still;
+  If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall,
+  A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall;
+  If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick,
+  The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick;
+  If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June,
+  Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune;
+  I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury;
+  We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you;
+  Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares;
+  English cloths, Irish linnen, and  French petenlairs!
+    If for want of good custom, or losses in trade,
+  The poetical partners should bankrupts be made;
+  If from dealings too large, we  plunge deeply in debt,
+  And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette;
+  We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call;
+  Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all."
+
+
+Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed
+at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Moliere; namely: one
+scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for
+Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_.
+
+The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162,
+about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation
+between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_.
+
+Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Moliere's _Sganarelle_, which was
+performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not
+been printed.
+
+There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733,
+called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of
+_Sganarelle_.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE
+
+
+GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_.
+
+LELIO, _in love with Celia_.
+
+SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_.
+
+[Footnote: Moliere acted this part himself. In the inventory of his
+dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulie in his
+_Recherches sur Moliere_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the
+_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak,
+collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."]
+
+VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valere_.
+
+GROS-RENE, _servant to Lelio_.
+
+A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_.
+
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND,
+
+(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.)
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never
+expect my heart to consent to that.
+
+GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose
+you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you?
+And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish
+arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of
+us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is
+advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may
+feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still
+possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept
+without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say,
+"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about
+it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large
+fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else?
+Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be
+beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he
+will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman!
+
+CEL. Alas!
+
+GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that?
+A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a
+passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This
+comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head
+is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God
+much less than of Clelie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous
+books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people;
+instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of
+Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu,
+
+[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished
+diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which
+the _Cinquante quatrains contenant preceptes et enseignements utiles
+pour la vie de l'homme, composes a l'imitation de Phocylides,
+Epicharmus, et autres poetes grecs_, and which number he afterwards
+increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of
+four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several
+Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in
+1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.]
+
+[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet
+wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort,
+quatrains de la Vanite du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral
+quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published
+separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name
+_Tablettes_.]
+
+a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart;
+the Guide for Sinners
+
+[Footnote: _La guide des pecheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a
+translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de
+pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.]
+
+is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to
+spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such
+moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands.
+
+CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable
+affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand
+against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him.
+
+GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his
+appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty
+fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money,
+that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it
+everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of
+Valere, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as
+a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally
+supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I
+am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command.
+A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of
+your foolish complaints. This evening Valere intends to visit you, and
+if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall...
+but I will say no more on this subject.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would
+accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for
+marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear!
+Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much
+entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once,
+believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's
+tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he
+said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings
+closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it."
+Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have
+found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive
+my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes
+sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant
+times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth
+of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets
+appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In
+short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night
+by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God
+bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze.
+
+CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take
+up with this ill-shaped fellow?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time
+he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in
+his affection.
+
+GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me
+by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face;
+they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly
+believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here
+limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged.
+
+MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are
+right to regard tenderly.
+
+CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me.
+                          (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.)
+
+MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make
+haste! help! help!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. What is the matter? I am here.
+
+MAID. My lady is dying.
+
+SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was
+at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not
+say one word.
+
+MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her
+so long.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all
+over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer
+and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I
+perceive still some signs of life.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My
+husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me
+most certainly; I should be glad to catch him.
+
+SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the
+wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a
+body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_.
+
+
+He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my
+curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little
+I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he
+returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch
+reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their
+pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent
+to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very
+much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness,
+and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the
+law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That
+would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would
+please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let
+fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel
+of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was
+nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I
+see my wife.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a
+miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this
+she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A
+very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more
+beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the
+gold! Oh, how sweet it smells!
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized!
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a
+charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he
+should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why
+have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby,
+my clod-hopper...?
+
+SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I
+caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling
+husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well
+considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name
+(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for?
+Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this
+air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for
+which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own
+delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy
+your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though
+you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means...
+
+SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact
+is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I
+complain of.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me
+more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep
+this pretty thing; consider...
+
+SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck.
+I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much
+as I have the copy.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Why?
+
+SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong
+to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received.
+(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling,
+the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the
+merry blade with whom...
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on.
+
+SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation.
+
+[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French
+word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified
+formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something
+like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3:
+  "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy;
+  Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."]
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this?
+
+SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any
+longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor
+Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I
+shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus?
+
+SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean.
+
+SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head
+is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite
+her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the
+effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before
+known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the
+quarrel.
+
+SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of
+this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses,
+tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture,
+and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and
+runs away_).
+
+SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in
+spite of you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENE.
+
+
+GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should
+like you to tell me one thing.
+
+LEL. Well, speak.
+
+GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink
+under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding
+long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on
+confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my
+part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a
+worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention.
+And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well
+and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel.
+
+LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the
+report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before
+everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour.
+
+GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to
+discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would
+become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge
+by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets
+hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul
+can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it.
+Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify
+you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow
+from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine.
+
+[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the
+Forgery_. The Parasite of Phaeaedromus, who gave his name to the
+piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is
+bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with
+my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram
+down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are
+the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized
+cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."]
+
+LEL. I cannot eat.
+
+GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true
+may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be
+ready presently.
+
+LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you.
+
+GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order!
+
+LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy.
+
+GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish
+love-affair engrosses all your thoughts.
+
+[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_
+(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following:
+  _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
+  _Val_. I have dined.
+  _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can
+  feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would
+  fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.]
+
+LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and
+without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like.
+
+GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has
+promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love
+that I need not despair.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_).
+I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the
+rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what
+then must I believe?
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is
+doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio
+observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_).
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair
+hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding
+up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they
+will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has
+printed upon my forehead.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade!
+
+[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the
+masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it
+is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."]
+
+were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The
+wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a
+monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow...
+
+LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_).
+I am not mistaken; it is my very picture.
+
+SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very
+inquisitive.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised.
+
+SGAN. What would he be at?
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I...
+(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with
+you.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to
+tell me now?
+
+LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your
+hands?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking...
+(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my
+word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his
+surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man.
+
+LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by...
+
+SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which
+causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the
+hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which
+have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell
+whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this
+piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an
+intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy
+bonds of wedlock...
+
+LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge...
+
+SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband.
+
+LEL. Her husband?
+
+SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry;
+you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform
+her relatives about this affair.
+
+[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband
+very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays
+and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words,
+_mari_ and _marri_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was
+the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn
+me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have
+felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured
+me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the
+fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent
+effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good
+lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away.
+
+LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly.
+
+SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until
+you are better.
+
+LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a
+little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does
+not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever
+be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved.
+
+SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it.
+
+REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this
+picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man?
+Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I
+shall be one of the first to punish her offence.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed
+cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the
+perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not
+at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me
+endeavour then by care...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of
+her house, with_ LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can
+be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the
+very man, in _propria persona_.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly,
+you may perhaps have a return of your illness.
+
+LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have
+rendered me.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him.
+(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me
+with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my
+sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success
+that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too
+happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary
+speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head.
+(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have
+not acted at all like an honourable man.
+
+CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio.
+Why does he conceal his return from me?
+
+SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having
+so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a
+disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too
+clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion.
+Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with
+my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have
+knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to
+satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry,
+"Stop, thief of my honour!"
+
+CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this
+gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you?
+
+SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife.
+
+CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind?
+
+SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me
+to breathe plenty of sighs.
+
+CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief?
+
+SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not
+to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the
+model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him;
+but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my
+reputation also.
+
+CEL. How do they do that?
+
+SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your
+presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a
+private interview between him and my wife.
+
+CEL. What? He who just now...
+
+SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with
+my wife, and my wife is in love with him.
+
+CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only
+concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad
+foreboding of what would happen.
+
+SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is
+not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my
+sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me.
+
+CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment
+be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live,
+after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible?
+
+SGAN. It is but too true.
+
+CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch!
+
+SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature!
+
+CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently
+for your guilt!
+
+SGAN. How well she talks!
+
+CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness!
+
+SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah!
+
+CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being
+treated with such insult and contempt.
+
+SGAN. That's true.
+
+CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the
+thought of it without feeling on the rack.
+
+SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very
+soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune.
+
+CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit
+down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order
+to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish
+to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act.
+Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a
+fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted
+me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour.
+
+[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist
+La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired
+captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate
+with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to
+fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock
+in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then
+coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order
+to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his
+hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.]
+
+I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold
+people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four
+steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks
+as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping
+one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow.
+
+[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be
+rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos
+comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags'
+antlers."]
+
+I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly
+prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten;
+a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour
+tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage
+as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who
+listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an
+ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when
+the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my
+honour, shall you be the better of it.
+
+[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_.
+v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.]
+
+The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who
+are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that
+it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is
+there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape?
+The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a
+delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle
+woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own
+crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are
+blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue
+with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our
+backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a
+villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice.
+Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like
+them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness
+sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must
+stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no
+foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above
+sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she
+likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am
+not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little.
+Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about
+it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but
+a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I
+should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting
+his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up
+here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the
+better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too!
+I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the
+passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning,
+I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can
+freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage
+contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my
+duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you
+order me.
+
+GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am
+so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people
+not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me
+embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter
+whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the
+satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. This change surprises me.
+
+CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it.
+
+MAID. Perhaps so.
+
+CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous
+behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without...
+
+MAID. Here he comes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell
+you that...
+
+CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again?
+
+LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should
+not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and
+laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you
+have reason to be proud.
+
+CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the
+thought of my happiness may disturb you.
+
+LEL. Why this outbreak of passion?
+
+CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pie_, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my
+honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and
+then you will require no further answer.
+
+LEL. Ah! I see.
+
+CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you.
+
+LEL. It ought rather to make you blush.
+
+SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage
+is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have
+sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him
+I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching
+Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust...
+
+LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge?
+
+SGAN. Against no one.
+
+LEL. Why are you thus in armour?
+
+SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah!
+what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up
+courage to do it.
+
+LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey?
+
+SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping
+himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice!
+Chicken-hearted poltroon!
+
+CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to
+offend you.
+
+LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness
+that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can
+be found.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage?
+
+CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel:
+courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one
+noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned.
+
+LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle,
+who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and
+retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show
+my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the
+lovely choice you have made.
+
+CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed.
+
+LEL. You do well to defend it.
+
+SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have
+done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain;
+were I less discreet, much blood would be shed.
+
+LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this...
+
+SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches
+me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that
+my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not
+acting like a good Christian.
+
+LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples
+on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being
+in love with...
+
+CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble!
+
+LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his
+mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action?
+
+CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you.
+
+SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can,
+and have treated the matter in the right way.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that
+I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on.
+There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better
+employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone.
+
+CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough.
+
+[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words,
+but they are clearly Celia's.]
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and
+scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing
+your gallant.
+
+CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards
+Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad
+of it.
+
+LEL. What can be the meaning of this?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be
+unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but
+the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere
+at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one
+after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse
+this lady of?
+
+LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I
+heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an
+irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but
+discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married.
+
+MAID. Married! To whom?
+
+LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him.
+
+MAID. How! to him?
+
+LEL. Yes, to him.
+
+MAID. Who told you so?
+
+LEL. Himself, this very day.
+
+MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true?
+
+SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife.
+
+LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved.
+
+SGAN. True, here it is.
+
+LEL. (_To Sganarelle_). You also told me that she, from whose hands
+you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds
+of wedlock.
+
+SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from
+her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found
+this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without
+telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to
+Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then
+discover that he was the original of the picture.
+
+CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when
+swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into
+the house.
+
+MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and
+that you had some need of hellebore.
+
+[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or
+_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.]
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much
+frightened for my brow.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable
+credulity may be, I am both to be deceived.
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to
+be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours;
+accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be
+so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger!
+Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment
+complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself
+to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made
+a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him
+coming.
+
+LEL. He shall keep his word with me.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE,
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same
+ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love.
+
+GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same
+ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's
+very humble servant.
+
+LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations?
+
+GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too.
+
+CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him.
+
+GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now
+you were very kindly disposed towards Valere, but you change quickly...
+I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the
+marriage.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE,
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin?
+
+VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and
+which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with
+you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived
+everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise.
+Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible
+for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you....
+
+GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valere has married some one else without
+your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago,
+promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that
+his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her.
+
+VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much.
+
+LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss.
+
+GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding.
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think
+himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest
+probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember,
+never to believe anything even if you should see everything.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+#14 in our series by Moliere
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+
+
+Title: Sganarelle
+       or The Self-Deceived Husband
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6681]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE
+
+COMEDIE EN UN ACTE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND.
+
+A COMEDY IN ONE ACT.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+28TH MAY, 1660.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+Six months after the brilliant success of the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_, Moliere brought out at the Theatre du Petit-Bourbon a new
+comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have
+translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has
+been said that Moliere owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian
+farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as
+it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time
+whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to
+many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Moliere has also been inspired
+by such old authors as Noel Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze
+joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and
+perhaps others.
+
+The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle
+becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof
+both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and
+the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst
+his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is
+extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to
+show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in
+those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the
+view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of
+humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the
+play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept
+the court from Paris.
+
+The style is totally different from that employed in the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style
+gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Moliere lived. He has often been
+blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Precieuses
+Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Moliere did not want to
+make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose
+with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which
+provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition.
+
+Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the
+farce, or rather sketch, of the _Medecin volant_, where in reality
+nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in
+Sganarelle Moliere has created a character that is his own just as much
+as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or
+Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the
+father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker,
+a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an
+antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened
+character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting,
+mean, morose, odd qualities. Moliere was, at the time he wrote
+_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore
+no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant
+of the _Blunderer_.
+
+This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so
+smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he
+knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a
+running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to
+a friend in which he extols its beauties. Moliere got, in 1663, his name
+inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilege du
+roi_.
+
+Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of
+M. de Moliere, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme
+[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme,
+mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created
+a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector
+outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:--
+
+MADAM,
+
+Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high
+Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste
+for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliere's_
+Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be,
+I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along
+with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal.
+
+Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps,
+the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one
+Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person,
+Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the
+Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of
+Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me
+to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is
+lovely.
+
+My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am
+obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this
+Presumption in,
+
+MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_
+
+H. B.
+
+Enfield,
+
+Jan. 1st 1731-2.
+
+
+This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate
+it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be
+Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain.
+According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular
+entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance.
+The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the
+time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several
+offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who
+had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is
+performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliere's
+_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make
+the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the
+title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious
+opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth
+act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Caesar and Cleopatra, has
+a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by
+itself."
+
+With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate
+and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of
+Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit,
+when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his
+entertainments of music and perspective in scenes.
+
+The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the
+Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677.
+London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in
+the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677."
+This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to
+the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two
+French comedies---viz., Moliere's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas
+Corneille's _Don Cesar d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be
+quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This
+play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very
+coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a
+credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at
+times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is,
+of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of
+Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she
+tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of
+the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the
+stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading
+the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a
+"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman,
+servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio.
+Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd,
+and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille.
+
+In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs, Essence speaks
+the following lines:
+
+  "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see,
+  Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie
+  In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear,
+  Most of you have more cause to be severe.
+  We yield you are the truest Character."
+
+
+Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Moliere's
+_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced.
+
+_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at
+the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians,
+acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London,
+Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at
+the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third
+imitation of Moliere's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two
+gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy,
+who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common
+Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success,
+and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author
+states in the prologue:--
+
+  "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage,
+  Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage,
+  Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms,
+  By you protected, shall display their Charms...
+  No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms,
+  That impious way of being dull he scorns;
+  No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind,
+  And poison what for Pleasure was designed."
+
+
+Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in
+the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act,
+are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to
+subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only
+remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of
+Moliere's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The
+scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and
+lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of
+making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many
+others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The
+Blunderer_, of Gros-Rene from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the
+servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering
+uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir
+Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able
+to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio
+disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his
+love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the
+mistress. Moliere's farce has been lengthened by those means into a
+five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is
+more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be
+called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the
+reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_.
+
+_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by
+Js. Miller, is founded on Moliere, and is the fourth imitation of
+_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free
+translation of Moliere's, interspersed with some songs set to music by
+Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common
+councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-Rene, John
+Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by
+Mr. Havard, ends thus:
+
+  "...To-night we serve
+  A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve;
+  A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made
+  As mad, as by the common Course of Trade:
+  And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance,
+  He's carbonado'd a la mode de France;
+  Cook'd by Moliere, great Master of his Trade,
+  From whose Receipt this Harrico was made.
+  But if that poignant Taste we fail to take,
+  That something, that a mere Receipt can't make;
+  Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all,
+  And want the Spirit of th' Original."
+
+
+The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_,
+a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761,
+at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several
+of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are
+well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue,
+written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows:
+
+  "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit,
+  Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse  for Wit;
+
+[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the
+summer months.]
+
+  The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers;
+  Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers!
+  We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe
+  To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe.
+  Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn,
+  For we promise to mangle no works but our own.
+  And moreover on this you may firmly rely,
+  If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry.
+  For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls,
+  Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls.
+  Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk,
+  He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk.
+  No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone,
+  Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun.
+    If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill,
+  There should be but one female inclined to sit still;
+  If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall,
+  A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall;
+  If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick,
+  The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick;
+  If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June,
+  Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune;
+  I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury;
+  We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you;
+  Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares;
+  English cloths, Irish linnen, and  French petenlairs!
+    If for want of good custom, or losses in trade,
+  The poetical partners should bankrupts be made;
+  If from dealings too large, we  plunge deeply in debt,
+  And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette;
+  We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call;
+  Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all."
+
+
+Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed
+at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Moliere; namely: one
+scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for
+Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_.
+
+The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162,
+about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation
+between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_.
+
+Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Moliere's _Sganarelle_, which was
+performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not
+been printed.
+
+There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733,
+called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of
+_Sganarelle_.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE
+
+
+GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_.
+
+LELIO, _in love with Celia_.
+
+SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_.
+
+[Footnote: Moliere acted this part himself. In the inventory of his
+dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulie in his
+_Recherches sur Moliere_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the
+_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak,
+collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."]
+
+VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valere_.
+
+GROS-RENE, _servant to Lelio_.
+
+A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_.
+
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND,
+
+(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.)
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never
+expect my heart to consent to that.
+
+GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose
+you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you?
+And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish
+arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of
+us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is
+advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may
+feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still
+possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept
+without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say,
+"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about
+it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large
+fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else?
+Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be
+beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he
+will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman!
+
+CEL. Alas!
+
+GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that?
+A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a
+passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This
+comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head
+is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God
+much less than of Clelie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous
+books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people;
+instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of
+Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu,
+
+[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished
+diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which
+the _Cinquante quatrains contenant preceptes et enseignements utiles
+pour la vie de l'homme, composes a l'imitation de Phocylides,
+Epicharmus, et autres poetes grecs_, and which number he afterwards
+increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of
+four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several
+Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in
+1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.]
+
+[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet
+wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort,
+quatrains de la Vanite du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral
+quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published
+separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name
+_Tablettes_.]
+
+a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart;
+the Guide for Sinners
+
+[Footnote: _La guide des pecheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a
+translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de
+pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.]
+
+is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to
+spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such
+moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands.
+
+CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable
+affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand
+against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him.
+
+GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his
+appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty
+fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money,
+that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it
+everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of
+Valere, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as
+a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally
+supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I
+am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command.
+A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of
+your foolish complaints. This evening Valere intends to visit you, and
+if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall...
+but I will say no more on this subject.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would
+accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for
+marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear!
+Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much
+entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once,
+believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's
+tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he
+said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings
+closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it."
+Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have
+found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive
+my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes
+sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant
+times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth
+of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets
+appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In
+short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night
+by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God
+bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze.
+
+CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take
+up with this ill-shaped fellow?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time
+he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in
+his affection.
+
+GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me
+by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face;
+they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly
+believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here
+limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged.
+
+MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are
+right to regard tenderly.
+
+CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me.
+                          (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.)
+
+MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make
+haste! help! help!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. What is the matter? I am here.
+
+MAID. My lady is dying.
+
+SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was
+at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not
+say one word.
+
+MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her
+so long.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all
+over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer
+and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I
+perceive still some signs of life.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My
+husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me
+most certainly; I should be glad to catch him.
+
+SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the
+wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a
+body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_.
+
+
+He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my
+curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little
+I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he
+returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch
+reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their
+pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent
+to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very
+much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness,
+and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the
+law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That
+would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would
+please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let
+fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel
+of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was
+nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I
+see my wife.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a
+miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this
+she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A
+very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more
+beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the
+gold! Oh, how sweet it smells!
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized!
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a
+charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he
+should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why
+have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby,
+my clod-hopper...?
+
+SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I
+caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling
+husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well
+considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name
+(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for?
+Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this
+air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for
+which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own
+delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy
+your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though
+you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means...
+
+SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact
+is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I
+complain of.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me
+more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep
+this pretty thing; consider...
+
+SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck.
+I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much
+as I have the copy.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Why?
+
+SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong
+to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received.
+(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling,
+the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the
+merry blade with whom...
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on.
+
+SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation.
+
+[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French
+word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified
+formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something
+like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3:
+  "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy;
+  Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."]
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this?
+
+SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any
+longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor
+Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I
+shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus?
+
+SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean.
+
+SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head
+is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite
+her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the
+effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before
+known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the
+quarrel.
+
+SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of
+this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses,
+tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture,
+and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and
+runs away_).
+
+SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in
+spite of you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENE.
+
+
+GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should
+like you to tell me one thing.
+
+LEL. Well, speak.
+
+GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink
+under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding
+long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on
+confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my
+part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a
+worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention.
+And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well
+and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel.
+
+LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the
+report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before
+everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour.
+
+GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to
+discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would
+become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge
+by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets
+hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul
+can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it.
+Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify
+you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow
+from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine.
+
+[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the
+Forgery_. The Parasite of Phaeaedromus, who gave his name to the
+piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is
+bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with
+my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram
+down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are
+the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized
+cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."]
+
+LEL. I cannot eat.
+
+GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true
+may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be
+ready presently.
+
+LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you.
+
+GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order!
+
+LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy.
+
+GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish
+love-affair engrosses all your thoughts.
+
+[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_
+(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following:
+  _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
+  _Val_. I have dined.
+  _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can
+  feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would
+  fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.]
+
+LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and
+without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like.
+
+GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has
+promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love
+that I need not despair.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_).
+I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the
+rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what
+then must I believe?
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is
+doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio
+observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_).
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair
+hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding
+up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they
+will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has
+printed upon my forehead.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade!
+
+[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the
+masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it
+is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."]
+
+were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The
+wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a
+monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow...
+
+LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_).
+I am not mistaken; it is my very picture.
+
+SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very
+inquisitive.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised.
+
+SGAN. What would he be at?
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I...
+(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with
+you.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to
+tell me now?
+
+LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your
+hands?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking...
+(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my
+word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his
+surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man.
+
+LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by...
+
+SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which
+causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the
+hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which
+have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell
+whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this
+piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an
+intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy
+bonds of wedlock...
+
+LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge...
+
+SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband.
+
+LEL. Her husband?
+
+SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry;
+you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform
+her relatives about this affair.
+
+[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband
+very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays
+and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words,
+_mari_ and _marri_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was
+the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn
+me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have
+felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured
+me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the
+fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent
+effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good
+lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away.
+
+LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly.
+
+SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until
+you are better.
+
+LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a
+little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does
+not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever
+be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved.
+
+SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it.
+
+REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this
+picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man?
+Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I
+shall be one of the first to punish her offence.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed
+cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the
+perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not
+at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me
+endeavour then by care...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of
+her house, with_ LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can
+be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the
+very man, in _propria persona_.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly,
+you may perhaps have a return of your illness.
+
+LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have
+rendered me.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him.
+(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me
+with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my
+sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success
+that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too
+happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary
+speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head.
+(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have
+not acted at all like an honourable man.
+
+CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio.
+Why does he conceal his return from me?
+
+SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having
+so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a
+disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too
+clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion.
+Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with
+my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have
+knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to
+satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry,
+"Stop, thief of my honour!"
+
+CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this
+gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you?
+
+SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife.
+
+CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind?
+
+SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me
+to breathe plenty of sighs.
+
+CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief?
+
+SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not
+to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the
+model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him;
+but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my
+reputation also.
+
+CEL. How do they do that?
+
+SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your
+presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a
+private interview between him and my wife.
+
+CEL. What? He who just now...
+
+SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with
+my wife, and my wife is in love with him.
+
+CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only
+concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad
+foreboding of what would happen.
+
+SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is
+not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my
+sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me.
+
+CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment
+be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live,
+after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible?
+
+SGAN. It is but too true.
+
+CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch!
+
+SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature!
+
+CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently
+for your guilt!
+
+SGAN. How well she talks!
+
+CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness!
+
+SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah!
+
+CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being
+treated with such insult and contempt.
+
+SGAN. That's true.
+
+CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the
+thought of it without feeling on the rack.
+
+SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very
+soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune.
+
+CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit
+down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order
+to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish
+to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act.
+Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a
+fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted
+me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour.
+
+[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist
+La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired
+captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate
+with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to
+fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock
+in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then
+coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order
+to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his
+hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.]
+
+I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold
+people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four
+steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks
+as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping
+one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow.
+
+[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be
+rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos
+comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags'
+antlers."]
+
+I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly
+prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten;
+a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour
+tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage
+as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who
+listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an
+ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when
+the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my
+honour, shall you be the better of it.
+
+[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_.
+v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.]
+
+The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who
+are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that
+it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is
+there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape?
+The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a
+delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle
+woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own
+crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are
+blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue
+with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our
+backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a
+villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice.
+Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like
+them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness
+sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must
+stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no
+foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above
+sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she
+likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am
+not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little.
+Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about
+it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but
+a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I
+should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting
+his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up
+here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the
+better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too!
+I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the
+passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning,
+I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can
+freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage
+contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my
+duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you
+order me.
+
+GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am
+so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people
+not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me
+embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter
+whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the
+satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. This change surprises me.
+
+CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it.
+
+MAID. Perhaps so.
+
+CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous
+behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without...
+
+MAID. Here he comes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell
+you that...
+
+CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again?
+
+LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should
+not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and
+laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you
+have reason to be proud.
+
+CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the
+thought of my happiness may disturb you.
+
+LEL. Why this outbreak of passion?
+
+CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pie_, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my
+honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and
+then you will require no further answer.
+
+LEL. Ah! I see.
+
+CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you.
+
+LEL. It ought rather to make you blush.
+
+SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage
+is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have
+sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him
+I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching
+Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust...
+
+LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge?
+
+SGAN. Against no one.
+
+LEL. Why are you thus in armour?
+
+SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah!
+what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up
+courage to do it.
+
+LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey?
+
+SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping
+himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice!
+Chicken-hearted poltroon!
+
+CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to
+offend you.
+
+LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness
+that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can
+be found.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage?
+
+CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel:
+courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one
+noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned.
+
+LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle,
+who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and
+retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show
+my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the
+lovely choice you have made.
+
+CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed.
+
+LEL. You do well to defend it.
+
+SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have
+done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain;
+were I less discreet, much blood would be shed.
+
+LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this...
+
+SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches
+me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that
+my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not
+acting like a good Christian.
+
+LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples
+on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being
+in love with...
+
+CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble!
+
+LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his
+mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action?
+
+CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you.
+
+SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can,
+and have treated the matter in the right way.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that
+I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on.
+There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better
+employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone.
+
+CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough.
+
+[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words,
+but they are clearly Celia's.]
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and
+scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing
+your gallant.
+
+CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards
+Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad
+of it.
+
+LEL. What can be the meaning of this?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be
+unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but
+the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere
+at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one
+after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse
+this lady of?
+
+LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I
+heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an
+irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but
+discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married.
+
+MAID. Married! To whom?
+
+LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him.
+
+MAID. How! to him?
+
+LEL. Yes, to him.
+
+MAID. Who told you so?
+
+LEL. Himself, this very day.
+
+MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true?
+
+SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife.
+
+LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved.
+
+SGAN. True, here it is.
+
+LEL. (_To Sganarelle). You also told me that she, from whose hands
+you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds
+of wedlock.
+
+SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from
+her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found
+this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without
+telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to
+Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then
+discover that he was the original of the picture.
+
+CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when
+swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into
+the house.
+
+MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and
+that you had some need of hellebore.
+
+[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or
+_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.]
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much
+frightened for my brow.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable
+credulity may be, I am both to be deceived.
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to
+be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours;
+accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be
+so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger!
+Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment
+complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself
+to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made
+a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him
+coming.
+
+LEL. He shall keep his word with me.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE,
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same
+ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love.
+
+GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same
+ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's
+very humble servant.
+
+LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations?
+
+GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too.
+
+CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him.
+
+GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now
+you were very kindly disposed towards Valere, but you change quickly...
+I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the
+marriage.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE,
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin?
+
+VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and
+which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with
+you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived
+everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise.
+Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible
+for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you....
+
+GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valere has married some one else without
+your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago,
+promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that
+his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her.
+
+VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much.
+
+LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss.
+
+GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding.
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think
+himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest
+probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember,
+never to believe anything even if you should see everything.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+#14 in our series by Moliere
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+
+
+Title: Sganarelle
+       or The Self-Deceived Husband
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6681]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE
+
+COMÉDIE EN UN ACTE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND.
+
+A COMEDY IN ONE ACT.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+28TH MAY, 1660.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+Six months after the brilliant success of the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_, Molière brought out at the Théâtre du Petit-Bourbon a new
+comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have
+translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has
+been said that Molière owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian
+farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as
+it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time
+whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to
+many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Molière has also been inspired
+by such old authors as Noël Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze
+joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and
+perhaps others.
+
+The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle
+becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof
+both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and
+the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst
+his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is
+extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to
+show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in
+those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the
+view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of
+humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the
+play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept
+the court from Paris.
+
+The style is totally different from that employed in the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style
+gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Molière lived. He has often been
+blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Précieuses
+Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Molière did not want to
+make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose
+with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which
+provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition.
+
+Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the
+farce, or rather sketch, of the _Médecin volant_, where in reality
+nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in
+Sganarelle Molière has created a character that is his own just as much
+as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or
+Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the
+father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker,
+a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an
+antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened
+character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting,
+mean, morose, odd qualities. Molière was, at the time he wrote
+_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore
+no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant
+of the _Blunderer_.
+
+This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so
+smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he
+knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a
+running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to
+a friend in which he extols its beauties. Molière got, in 1663, his name
+inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilége du
+roi_.
+
+Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of
+M. de Molière, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme
+[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme,
+mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created
+a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector
+outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:--
+
+MADAM,
+
+Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high
+Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste
+for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliére's_
+Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be,
+I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along
+with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal.
+
+Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps,
+the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one
+Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person,
+Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the
+Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of
+Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me
+to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is
+lovely.
+
+My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am
+obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this
+Presumption in,
+
+MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_
+
+H. B.
+
+Enfield,
+
+Jan. 1st 1731-2.
+
+
+This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate
+it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be
+Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain.
+According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular
+entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance.
+The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the
+time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several
+offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who
+had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is
+performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliére's
+_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make
+the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the
+title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious
+opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth
+act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Cæsar and Cleopatra, has
+a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by
+itself."
+
+With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate
+and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of
+Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit,
+when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his
+entertainments of music and perspective in scenes.
+
+The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the
+Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677.
+London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in
+the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677."
+This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to
+the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two
+French comedies---viz., Molière's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas
+Corneille's _Don César d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be
+quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This
+play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very
+coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a
+credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at
+times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is,
+of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of
+Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she
+tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of
+the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the
+stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading
+the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a
+"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman,
+servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio.
+Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd,
+and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille.
+
+In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs, Essence speaks
+the following lines:
+
+  "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see,
+  Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie
+  In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear,
+  Most of you have more cause to be severe.
+  We yield you are the truest Character."
+
+
+Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Molière's
+_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced.
+
+_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at
+the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians,
+acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London,
+Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at
+the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third
+imitation of Molière's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two
+gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy,
+who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common
+Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success,
+and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author
+states in the prologue:--
+
+  "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage,
+  Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage,
+  Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms,
+  By you protected, shall display their Charms...
+  No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms,
+  That impious way of being dull he scorns;
+  No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind,
+  And poison what for Pleasure was designed."
+
+
+Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in
+the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act,
+are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to
+subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only
+remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of
+Molière's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The
+scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and
+lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of
+making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many
+others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The
+Blunderer_, of Gros-René from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the
+servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering
+uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir
+Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able
+to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio
+disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his
+love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the
+mistress. Molière's farce has been lengthened by those means into a
+five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is
+more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be
+called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the
+reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_.
+
+_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by
+Js. Miller, is founded on Molière, and is the fourth imitation of
+_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free
+translation of Molière's, interspersed with some songs set to music by
+Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common
+councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-René, John
+Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by
+Mr. Havard, ends thus:
+
+  "...To-night we serve
+  A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve;
+  A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made
+  As mad, as by the common Course of Trade:
+  And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance,
+  He's carbonado'd a la mode de France;
+  Cook'd by Molière, great Master of his Trade,
+  From whose Receipt this Harrico was made.
+  But if that poignant Taste we fail to take,
+  That something, that a mere Receipt can't make;
+  Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all,
+  And want the Spirit of th' Original."
+
+
+The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_,
+a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761,
+at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several
+of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are
+well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue,
+written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows:
+
+  "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit,
+  Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse  for Wit;
+
+[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the
+summer months.]
+
+  The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers;
+  Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers!
+  We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe
+  To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe.
+  Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn,
+  For we promise to mangle no works but our own.
+  And moreover on this you may firmly rely,
+  If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry.
+  For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls,
+  Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls.
+  Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk,
+  He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk.
+  No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone,
+  Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun.
+    If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill,
+  There should be but one female inclined to sit still;
+  If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall,
+  A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall;
+  If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick,
+  The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick;
+  If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June,
+  Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune;
+  I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury;
+  We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you;
+  Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares;
+  English cloths, Irish linnen, and  French petenlairs!
+    If for want of good custom, or losses in trade,
+  The poetical partners should bankrupts be made;
+  If from dealings too large, we  plunge deeply in debt,
+  And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette;
+  We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call;
+  Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all."
+
+
+Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed
+at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Molière; namely: one
+scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for
+Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_.
+
+The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162,
+about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation
+between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_.
+
+Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Molière's _Sganarelle_, which was
+performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not
+been printed.
+
+There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733,
+called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of
+_Sganarelle_.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
+
+
+GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_.
+
+LELIO, _in love with Celia_.
+
+SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_.
+
+[Footnote: Molière acted this part himself. In the inventory of his
+dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulié in his
+_Recherches sur Molière_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the
+_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak,
+collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."]
+
+VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valère_.
+
+GROS-RENÉ, _servant to Lelio_.
+
+A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_.
+
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND,
+
+(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.)
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never
+expect my heart to consent to that.
+
+GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose
+you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you?
+And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish
+arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of
+us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is
+advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may
+feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still
+possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept
+without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say,
+"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about
+it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large
+fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else?
+Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be
+beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he
+will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman!
+
+CEL. Alas!
+
+GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that?
+A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a
+passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This
+comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head
+is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God
+much less than of Clélie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous
+books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people;
+instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of
+Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu,
+
+[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished
+diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which
+the _Cinquante quatrains contenant préceptes et enseignements utiles
+pour la vie de l'homme, composes à l'imitation de Phocylides,
+Epicharmus, et autres poétes grecs_, and which number he afterwards
+increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of
+four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several
+Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in
+1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.]
+
+[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet
+wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort,
+quatrains de la Vanité du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral
+quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published
+separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name
+_Tablettes_.]
+
+a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart;
+the Guide for Sinners
+
+[Footnote: _La guide des pécheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a
+translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de
+pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.]
+
+is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to
+spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such
+moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands.
+
+CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable
+affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand
+against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him.
+
+GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his
+appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty
+fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money,
+that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it
+everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of
+Valère, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as
+a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally
+supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I
+am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command.
+A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of
+your foolish complaints. This evening Valère intends to visit you, and
+if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall...
+but I will say no more on this subject.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would
+accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for
+marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear!
+Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much
+entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once,
+believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's
+tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he
+said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings
+closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it."
+Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have
+found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive
+my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes
+sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant
+times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth
+of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets
+appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In
+short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night
+by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God
+bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze.
+
+CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take
+up with this ill-shaped fellow?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time
+he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in
+his affection.
+
+GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me
+by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face;
+they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly
+believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here
+limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged.
+
+MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are
+right to regard tenderly.
+
+CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me.
+                          (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.)
+
+MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make
+haste! help! help!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. What is the matter? I am here.
+
+MAID. My lady is dying.
+
+SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was
+at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not
+say one word.
+
+MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her
+so long.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all
+over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer
+and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I
+perceive still some signs of life.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My
+husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me
+most certainly; I should be glad to catch him.
+
+SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the
+wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a
+body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_.
+
+
+He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my
+curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little
+I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he
+returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch
+reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their
+pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent
+to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very
+much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness,
+and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the
+law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That
+would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would
+please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let
+fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel
+of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was
+nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I
+see my wife.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a
+miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this
+she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A
+very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more
+beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the
+gold! Oh, how sweet it smells!
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized!
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a
+charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he
+should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why
+have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby,
+my clod-hopper...?
+
+SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I
+caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling
+husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well
+considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name
+(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for?
+Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this
+air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for
+which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own
+delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy
+your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though
+you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means...
+
+SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact
+is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I
+complain of.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me
+more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep
+this pretty thing; consider...
+
+SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck.
+I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much
+as I have the copy.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Why?
+
+SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong
+to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received.
+(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling,
+the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the
+merry blade with whom...
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on.
+
+SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation.
+
+[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French
+word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified
+formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something
+like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3:
+  "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy;
+  Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."]
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this?
+
+SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any
+longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor
+Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I
+shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus?
+
+SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean.
+
+SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head
+is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite
+her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the
+effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before
+known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the
+quarrel.
+
+SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of
+this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous?
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses,
+tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture,
+and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and
+runs away_).
+
+SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in
+spite of you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENÉ.
+
+
+GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should
+like you to tell me one thing.
+
+LEL. Well, speak.
+
+GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink
+under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding
+long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on
+confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my
+part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a
+worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention.
+And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well
+and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel.
+
+LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the
+report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before
+everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour.
+
+GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to
+discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would
+become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge
+by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets
+hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul
+can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it.
+Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify
+you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow
+from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine.
+
+[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the
+Forgery_. The Parasite of Phæaedromus, who gave his name to the
+piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is
+bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with
+my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram
+down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are
+the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized
+cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."]
+
+LEL. I cannot eat.
+
+GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true
+may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be
+ready presently.
+
+LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you.
+
+GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order!
+
+LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy.
+
+GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish
+love-affair engrosses all your thoughts.
+
+[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_
+(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following:
+  _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
+  _Val_. I have dined.
+  _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can
+  feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would
+  fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.]
+
+LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and
+without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like.
+
+GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has
+promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love
+that I need not despair.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_).
+I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the
+rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what
+then must I believe?
+
+SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is
+doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio
+observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_).
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair
+hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding
+up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they
+will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has
+printed upon my forehead.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade!
+
+[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the
+masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it
+is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."]
+
+were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The
+wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a
+monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow...
+
+LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_).
+I am not mistaken; it is my very picture.
+
+SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very
+inquisitive.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised.
+
+SGAN. What would he be at?
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I...
+(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with
+you.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to
+tell me now?
+
+LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your
+hands?
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking...
+(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my
+word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his
+surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man.
+
+LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by...
+
+SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which
+causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the
+hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which
+have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell
+whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this
+piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an
+intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy
+bonds of wedlock...
+
+LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge...
+
+SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband.
+
+LEL. Her husband?
+
+SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry;
+you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform
+her relatives about this affair.
+
+[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband
+very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays
+and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words,
+_mari_ and _marri_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_.
+
+
+Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was
+the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn
+me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have
+felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured
+me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the
+fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent
+effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good
+lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away.
+
+LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly.
+
+SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until
+you are better.
+
+LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE.
+
+
+REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a
+little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does
+not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever
+be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved.
+
+SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it.
+
+REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this
+picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man?
+Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I
+shall be one of the first to punish her offence.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed
+cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the
+perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not
+at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me
+endeavour then by care...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of
+her house, with_ LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can
+be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the
+very man, in _propria persona_.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly,
+you may perhaps have a return of your illness.
+
+LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have
+rendered me.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him.
+(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO.
+
+
+SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me.
+
+LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me
+with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my
+sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success
+that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too
+happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_.
+
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary
+speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head.
+(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have
+not acted at all like an honourable man.
+
+CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio.
+Why does he conceal his return from me?
+
+SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having
+so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a
+disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too
+clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion.
+Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with
+my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have
+knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to
+satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry,
+"Stop, thief of my honour!"
+
+CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this
+gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you?
+
+SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife.
+
+CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind?
+
+SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me
+to breathe plenty of sighs.
+
+CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief?
+
+SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not
+to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the
+model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him;
+but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my
+reputation also.
+
+CEL. How do they do that?
+
+SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your
+presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a
+private interview between him and my wife.
+
+CEL. What? He who just now...
+
+SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with
+my wife, and my wife is in love with him.
+
+CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only
+concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad
+foreboding of what would happen.
+
+SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is
+not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my
+sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me.
+
+CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment
+be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live,
+after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible?
+
+SGAN. It is but too true.
+
+CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch!
+
+SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature!
+
+CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently
+for your guilt!
+
+SGAN. How well she talks!
+
+CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness!
+
+SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah!
+
+CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being
+treated with such insult and contempt.
+
+SGAN. That's true.
+
+CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the
+thought of it without feeling on the rack.
+
+SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very
+soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune.
+
+CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit
+down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order
+to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
+
+
+May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish
+to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act.
+Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a
+fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted
+me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour.
+
+[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist
+La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired
+captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate
+with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to
+fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock
+in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then
+coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order
+to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his
+hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.]
+
+I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold
+people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four
+steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks
+as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping
+one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow.
+
+[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be
+rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos
+comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags'
+antlers."]
+
+I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly
+prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten;
+a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour
+tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage
+as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who
+listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an
+ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when
+the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my
+honour, shall you be the better of it.
+
+[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_.
+v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.]
+
+The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who
+are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that
+it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is
+there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape?
+The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a
+delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle
+woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own
+crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are
+blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue
+with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our
+backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a
+villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice.
+Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like
+them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness
+sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must
+stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no
+foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above
+sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she
+likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am
+not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little.
+Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about
+it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but
+a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I
+should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting
+his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up
+here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the
+better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too!
+I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the
+passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning,
+I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can
+freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage
+contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my
+duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you
+order me.
+
+GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am
+so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people
+not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me
+embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter
+whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the
+satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+MAID. This change surprises me.
+
+CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it.
+
+MAID. Perhaps so.
+
+CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous
+behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without...
+
+MAID. Here he comes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell
+you that...
+
+CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again?
+
+LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should
+not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and
+laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you
+have reason to be proud.
+
+CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the
+thought of my happiness may disturb you.
+
+LEL. Why this outbreak of passion?
+
+CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pié_, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my
+honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and
+then you will require no further answer.
+
+LEL. Ah! I see.
+
+CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you.
+
+LEL. It ought rather to make you blush.
+
+SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage
+is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have
+sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him
+I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching
+Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust...
+
+LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge?
+
+SGAN. Against no one.
+
+LEL. Why are you thus in armour?
+
+SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah!
+what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up
+courage to do it.
+
+LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey?
+
+SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping
+himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice!
+Chicken-hearted poltroon!
+
+CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to
+offend you.
+
+LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness
+that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can
+be found.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage?
+
+CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner.
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel:
+courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one
+noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned.
+
+LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle,
+who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and
+retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show
+my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the
+lovely choice you have made.
+
+CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed.
+
+LEL. You do well to defend it.
+
+SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have
+done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain;
+were I less discreet, much blood would be shed.
+
+LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this...
+
+SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches
+me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that
+my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not
+acting like a good Christian.
+
+LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples
+on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being
+in love with...
+
+CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble!
+
+LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his
+mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action?
+
+CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you.
+
+SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can,
+and have treated the matter in the right way.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that
+I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on.
+There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better
+employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone.
+
+CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough.
+
+[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words,
+but they are clearly Celia's.]
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and
+scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing
+your gallant.
+
+CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards
+Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad
+of it.
+
+LEL. What can be the meaning of this?
+
+MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be
+unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but
+the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere
+at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one
+after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse
+this lady of?
+
+LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I
+heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an
+irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but
+discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married.
+
+MAID. Married! To whom?
+
+LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him.
+
+MAID. How! to him?
+
+LEL. Yes, to him.
+
+MAID. Who told you so?
+
+LEL. Himself, this very day.
+
+MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true?
+
+SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife.
+
+LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved.
+
+SGAN. True, here it is.
+
+LEL. (_To Sganarelle). You also told me that she, from whose hands
+you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds
+of wedlock.
+
+SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from
+her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found
+this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without
+telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to
+Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then
+discover that he was the original of the picture.
+
+CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when
+swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into
+the house.
+
+MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and
+that you had some need of hellebore.
+
+[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or
+_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.]
+
+SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much
+frightened for my brow.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable
+credulity may be, I am both to be deceived.
+
+SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to
+be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours;
+accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose.
+
+SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything.
+
+CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be
+so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger!
+Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment
+complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself
+to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made
+a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him
+coming.
+
+LEL. He shall keep his word with me.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE,
+CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same
+ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love.
+
+GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same
+ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope
+to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's
+very humble servant.
+
+LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations?
+
+GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too.
+
+CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him.
+
+GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now
+you were very kindly disposed towards Valère, but you change quickly...
+I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the
+marriage.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE,
+SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID.
+
+
+GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin?
+
+VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and
+which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with
+you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived
+everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise.
+Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible
+for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you....
+
+GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valère has married some one else without
+your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago,
+promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that
+his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her.
+
+VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much.
+
+LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss.
+
+GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding.
+
+SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think
+himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest
+probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember,
+never to believe anything even if you should see everything.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere
+
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