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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e408d60 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #66802 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66802) diff --git a/old/66802-0.txt b/old/66802-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 05751ba..0000000 --- a/old/66802-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1396 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Man With the Golden Eyes, by Alexander -Blade - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Man With the Golden Eyes - -Author: Alexander Blade - -Release Date: November 23, 2021 [eBook #66802] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN EYES *** - - - - - Lee Hayden had sent eleven men to their - death in deep space. Now he wanted only to die - himself. It was at this crucial point that he met-- - - The Man With The Golden Eyes - - By Alexander Blade - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - August 1956 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -He lay in the gutter. In his mouth was the taste of whiskey and defeat. -There was mud and filth on his face, on his two-week shirt, on his -rag-tag suit; and as the street and the buildings rippled and wavered -before his eyes, a tape recorder in his mind played over and over: - -_You're through, Hayden--all washed up--this is the bottom--you can't -go any lower--Lee Hayden--boy genius--all washed up--you made the trip -in a hurry, son--right down from the top to the bottom in nothing -flat--why don't you give up, why don't you kite off, you gutless wonder -of the ages--too weak to live--too yellow to die--_ - -On and on the tape played while along the street, came the fastidious -to step daintily around the wreck in the gutter; the callous to grin -and sneer; the timid to hurry by without looking. - -Then a voice: "Can I help you?" - -"Go 'way." - -A hand on his shoulder. The voice brisk, cheerful. "Come now--the -gutter is no place for a man of your caliber." - -Lee grunted and rolled over. Someone who knew him evidently; someone -echoing the myth of his "brilliance". "I said get the hell--" He opened -an eye. If this was an old friend, the man had gone out of memory. -Plump, cheerful, rosy-faced, well-cut clothes. A man with an air of -confidence. - -And something more. - -It was the _something more_ that stopped Lee from swinging at the man's -plump chin after allowing himself to be lifted to his feet. The man -looked critically into Lee's face as the latter swayed. He took a snowy -handkerchief from his pocket. He wiped filth from Lee's face in the -manner of one wiping the face of a child. "I think you need a drink, -young fellow." - -Lee grinned crookedly. "Now you're talkin'." - -The plump man steered Lee down the street, around a corner, under a -glittering marquee. An immaculate doorman glared with frosty eyes. -His look of disgust partially sobered Lee. "Now wait a minute," Lee -mumbled. After all, a man never lost _all_ his pride. - -He was drawing away, instinctively seeking shadows, when the doorman's -eyes shifted to the plump man. They cleared instantly. He saluted, -bowed, said "Good evening, Mr. Clifford." - -"Good evening, John. We need a snifter or two of your excellent scotch." - -"Certainly, sir." The doorman opened the portal as though the Secretary -of State were honoring the Lotus Room with his presence. - -Lee was busy marveling as they crossed the hotel lobby, brushing close -to hastily drawn-back mink coats and formal clothes. It was certainly -time for the bouncer to appear. But the hostess at the door of the -Lotus Room--a blonde dream wearing something that resembled a pink -cloud--gave the plump man a look Lee felt should have been reserved -only for God. - -"Mr. Clifford! What table would you like?" - -Mr. Clifford smiled. "Good evening, my dear." He turned to Lee. "Mr. -Hayden, this is Daphne--Mr. Lee Hayden, my dear." - -Her eyes turned obediently to Lee and he was sober enough to note the -complete absence of revulsion; only pity in her friendly, open gaze. -He thanked her silently and thought: _Even a bum like me still has a -little pride and sensitivity left_. - -But a bum hides it behind grossness. Lee growled, "You got any decent -liquor in this snob-joint?" - -Snob-joint! Not so long ago he felt entirely at home in such places. -Not so long ago? Huh! A thousand years or so. - -Mr. Clifford said, "A quiet place, Daphne. Mr. Hayden and I want to -talk." - -"Hell with that noise. We wanna drink." - -As they crossed the room, a man in formal clothes, obviously the -manager, stepped aside and bowed deferentially to Mr. Clifford. The -latter nodded pleasantly and eased Lee into a chair at a snowy table. -The waiter was there instantly. Lee remained silent while Mr. Clifford -ordered scotch. Then he could hold it in no longer. - -"All right--what the hell is all this?" - -Mr. Clifford smiled easily. "You need a drink. Here we are." - -"But why here--in this plush joint?" - -"Why not. It's open for business. Would you prefer a reeking skid row -dive?" - -From anyone but Mr. Clifford, Lee thought, that would have been an -insult. "I'd be more at home there," he mumbled. - -"The greatest spacial flight theorist who ever lived? I think not." -Clifford's voice was a trifle sharp and the _something_ stood out -again, holding back Lee's retort. At that moment the waiter arrived. He -poured the drinks and Mr. Clifford motioned. The waiter set the bottle -on the table and left. - -Lee knocked off his drink. His belligerence returned. "If you're doing -this for laughs, that's okay. I've got it coming. If you want an -autograph--no soap. I couldn't hold a pencil." - -Mr. Clifford picked up the bottle and poured a second drink for Lee. He -had not touched his own. "So you failed," he said, pensively. - -"Yes, I failed." - -"So have others." - -Lee sneered. "You can pass it off with such beautiful casualness. Do -you realize eleven men were killed on that ship?" - -"I know. And it seems to me they faced their destiny with a lot more -courage than you are facing yours." - -"If I have to take a lecture with your liquor, I'd rather--" - -"Certainly not. Have another." - -Mr. Clifford poured and Lee had the grace to feel ashamed. "Look--I'm -done--washed up--I'm at the bottom. Why should you--?" - -"On the bottom, yes. But sometimes people have to hit the bottom in -order to ascend to the top." - -Lee tossed off the third scotch. "Well I've hit bottom, that's for -sure." - -"You asked me why I brought you here, Mr. Hayden. That's the reason." - -"_What's_ the reason?" - -"To see if you've really hit bottom." - -"You make it sound important," Lee sneered. - -"Believe me, it is." - -"To my enemies?" - -"No, not them alone. To your friends also--to all mankind." - -"What kind of guff you handing me?" - -"It is also important to you." - -"Nothing's important to me." Lee's head began swimming. And he -knew--without seeing it or being able to prove it--that Mr. Clifford -had drugged the last one. He eyed Mr. Clifford's throat and tried to -raise his hands. Impossible.... - -Mr. Clifford, a blurred figure spinning in a whirlpool said, -"Important, Mr. Hayden, because I think you are now ready to see the -man with the golden eyes." - -"The ma-man--wha' silly nonsense--" - -Lee Hayden passed out. - - * * * * * - -He awoke in softness. He opened his eyes and knew he was in bed. He -was also aware of three other things--a horrible taste in his mouth--a -splitting headache--and the fact he was not alone. He blinked and the -form beside the bed sharpened from a blur and turned into a beautiful -girl; a girl he felt he should know. Then he remembered. He had met her -the previous night in the Lotus Room. She had been introduced to him as -Daphne. She was still very beautiful; cool as a summer afternoon in the -woods. - -Though he had on completely adequate pajamas, Lee felt naked and ducked -again behind his belligerence. "What the hell are you doing here?" - -She regarded him with an almost childlike seriousness. "Mr. Clifford -thought you ought not to be alone when you awakened." - -"Very thoughtful of him since he was the guy who put me under. How -long have you been here?" - -"About two hours." - -Filled with contempt for himself, Lee unconsciously used the device of -redirecting it on the first handy person. Daphne was handy. His mouth -twisted knowingly. "Sure you're not here for another reason?" - -"What reason?" - -"Trying to pick up a few bucks, maybe?" - -The question in her eyes was obviously sincere, her look entirely -innocent, and he knew she was not that kind of a girl. - -Her expression changed only in that the question vanished. The -innocence remained. Yet there was something about this last that caught -Lee's attention. He tried to define it. The innocence of knowledge -rather than that of ignorance? He wondered. - -"If you want me to," Daphne said. "But no money would be required." - -Stunned, Lee forgot his headache and slowly swung his feet to the -floor. He studied her, the analytical mind that had made him a great -scientist while still a young man now framing the questions. - -"Why?" - -"I do not need money." - -"I mean why are you willing to--" - -"Because Mr. Clifford asked that I serve you in any way I'm able." - -"Why the rotten--!" - -"Oh, no! Mr. Clifford is one of the Great Ones." There was reverence in -her voice. - -"You must be a fool! Trusting a man who would ask you to do a thing -like that!" - -"You're putting words in my mouth. Mr. Clifford did not mention -sleeping with you. He only asked that I render any service possible." - -"And you don't think that was included?" - -"Possibly it was." - -"And you respect a man who would _let_ it be included?" - -Daphne smiled, brilliantly, quietly. "Perhaps Mr. Clifford knew I would -not be asked to render any such service." - -"How could any man know that?" - -"I told you. Mr. Clifford is one--" - -"I know--I know. One of the Great Ones. What's that? A lodge of some -kind?" - -She pondered for a moment. "In a sense." - -Suddenly Lee's decency took command. "I'm sorry--more sorry than I can -say. Forgive me?" - -She returned his smile. "There is nothing to forgive. Would you like -some coffee?" - -"That's an idea, but mainly I want to talk." - -"About what?" - -"Who brought me here? Who--" he rubbed a hand across his chin. "Who -cleaned me up and shaved me?" - -"Mr. Clifford." - -"Why?" - -"I don't know. I imagine he had a reason." - -"Where is he now?" - -"I don't know. In China perhaps--South America--India." - -Lee smiled wryly. "Okay--okay. Ask a foolish question, you get a -foolish answer." - -"I spoke the truth." - -"What is he? A traveling sales man?" - -Again Daphne considered with deep seriousness. "I suppose you could -call him that?" - -"When will he be back? I want a few more words with him." - -"I doubt," Daphne said, "if you will ever see him again." - -Lee tried to stand. He made a bad job of it. He swayed and sat down -again. She was beside him instantly. "Your head?" - -"My _two_ heads." - -"Perhaps I can help." Her fingers were cool on his skin; live, -soothing, merciful. Lee closed his eyes and was enveloped in a -wonderful sense of well-being. Then he realized what seemed like a -long time had been only a few moments. But his headache was gone. - - * * * * * - -He turned on her sharply. "How did you do that?" - -"It's very simple." Daphne went quickly to the phone and ordered coffee -and orange juice. She put down the receiver, faced Lee, and said, "You -wanted to talk?" - -"Yes. I have one big fat question. Why?" - -"Why?" - -"Don't evade--please. You know what I mean. I was lying drunk in the -gutter. This man picked me up and put me here. Why?" - -"Perhaps you are more important to humanity than you realize." - -"Why do you say that?" - -"Because Mr. Clifford concerns himself with humanity." - -Lee felt a quick exasperation. Daphne seemed perfectly willing -to answer any question he asked, but her answers were about as -enlightening as midnight in a dark closet. He sought a different tack. -"Tell me about these Great Ones." - -"I'm afraid I can't." - -"Why not?" - -"Because I know so little about hem." - -"They don't tell you much, then?" - -"I am unworthy of knowing much. As yet I am hardly an initiate." - -A waiter brought the coffee and departed. Daphne poured from the silver -pot. "Is there anything else I can do?" - -"I think you've done enough. And I'm grateful. I haven't got the least -idea as to reasons--but I'm grateful." - -"I'll be at the Lotus Room if you want me." - -Daphne picked up her coat, smiled at Lee, and started toward the door. -As she extended her hand toward the knob, Lee said, "Just one more -thing." - -She turned. "Yes?" - -"Before I passed out, there was something this Clifford said. Something -about my being ready to meet the man with the golden eyes. What kind of -gibberish was that?" - -Daphne hesitated. For the first time, she seemed at a loss for an -answer. - -Lee asked, "Was it just my imagination?" - -"No." - -"What did he mean?" - -"Just what he said, I'm sure." - -Lee smothered his exasperation. "All right--then who _is_ the man with -the golden eyes?" - -Daphne regarded Lee with a sort of impersonal fondness. "Someone I'm -sure you will meet very, very soon." - -She left before Lee could get in another question. He sat on the edge -of the bed staring moodily at his coffee cup. "She cured my headache," -he muttered, "but I've got a hunch this guy with the golden eyes is -going to bring it right back again...." - - * * * * * - -There was a complete new wardrobe on a chair by the bed, but -Lee--loaded down as he was by unanswered questions--refused to wonder -where it had come from. As he showered, towelled and dressed, his -thoughts were centered upon Mr. Clifford to the exclusion of all else. - -Mr. Clifford. Who was he? Why had he done all this? A devious plot of -International Electronics to get one Lee Hayden back on his feet and -on the job again? Lee thought not. Two points stood against this idea. -First, International had definitely charged him off. Second, granted -they were having a last try, their procedure would in no way resemble -the mad pattern of Mr. Clifford. - -Then what lay behind this? Was it the amused gesture of a dilettante -philanthropist? No. There was something about this Clifford that put -him a cut above that. He was no idle operator. There was purpose -involved. But what purpose? Daphne had told him he would probably never -see Mr. Clifford again. So how could he ever make any sense out of what -had transpired in the last few hours? - -As Lee snatched up his key and headed for the lobby, he told himself, -_She put her hands on my forehead and the headache was gone instantly. -Or did I really have a headache?_ - -The clerk nodded deferentially. Lee faced him behind his old shield of -belligerence. "My name is Lee Hayden." - -"I know, sir." - -"I was in room 1106." - -The clerk nodded. - -"Who rented it for me?" - -"Why, Mr. Clifford, sir. I thought you knew." - -"I just wanted to find out if _you_ knew." Lee tossed down his key. -"I'm going out." - -"Certainly, sir." - -"Well?" - -"Well, what, sir?" - -"The bill. Don't people pay to stay here--or is it a charity -institution?" - -"Oh, no sir. We are not a charity institution. But your bill was paid -for by--" - -"I know--by Mr. Clifford." Lee scowled and strode out into the street. - - * * * * * - -He walked from the hotel straight to the nearest bar. He knocked off -a double bourbon, neat, and let it warm the lining of his stomach. It -felt good. He set down his glass and gestured to the barkeep. Then he -was looking into the refilled glass and making no move to lift it. A -moment later he was out in the street, realizing this was the first -time in eighteen months that he'd walked away from a drink. - -It was no reformation, though; merely a temporary diversion of his mind -from a prime objective; that of drinking himself to death; that of -blotting from his brain the picture of eleven men dying horribly as the -ship he had designed shivered and buckled and collapsed in deep space. - -Not even a temporary respite, because the horrible vision of his own -shortcomings--his own failure--was still there. But how could he have -known? Neither he nor anyone else could possibly have been aware of -the true conditions encountered out there. Theories and abstracts were -fine; almost enough to go on. But not quite. The payoff is always in -the doing. Otherwise, test pilots would not command fabulous salaries -to risk their necks on the first try-out. But eleven men! Snuffed out -because Lee Hayden's word had been taken. Eleven young men. - -And here he was, many hours later--back in his room with the bottle on -the table ready to blot out the dream--the nightmare of their final -agony--that ripped and tore at him everytime he closed his eyes. - -Still half sober, he fell into bed and began living it again, tasting -the horror, feeling his own flesh grind, his own bones break; living -their deaths over just as he had from that first moment when he'd -gotten word of the disaster; the last message they'd sent from space. - -He awoke in a pool of sweat and realized where he was. He snatched at -the bottle, hit it, knocked it off the table. He watched the liquor -slop out onto the carpet. He sobbed. - -Then, wide-awake--with the stench of fresh whiskey in his nostrils--he -saw the man with the golden eyes. - - * * * * * - -Or at least he thought he was awake. And even as it happened, there was -a certainty in his mind. - -_This is no dream._ - -He was standing, apparently unobserved, in a huge cave; a strange, -fabulous place and the wonder of it caught at his breath and made his -heart race. - -The cave was high in the side of a mountain. It was as though a huge -knife had cut horizontally into solid rock and sliced out a chunk nine -feet thick, fifty feet wide, and one hundred feet deep. The walls and -ceiling of the cave were of burnished black stone, the floor laid with -thick, silken carpet. - -Light came soft and shadowless from somewhere, seemingly sourceless, -and from the outer lip of the cave where Lee stood, he could see a -full, yellow moon riding the night-sky. - -The scene--above and below--was one of ecstacy; an overwhelming -sensation swept through Lee, something he had never known before. -At his feet was a sheer drop of ten thousand feet straight down the -face of the mountain to a green valley below. A silver river threaded -delicately through a valley hemmed in by towering snow-covered giants. -The air was like sharp wine and something within Lee said, _I am not -dreaming. I know I am here. I can feel the air in my lungs. I can feel -a new life vibrating through my flesh. I am still drunk but now it's -different. Now I'm drunk from a feeling of complete freedom. I know for -the first time that I have never been really alive._ - -He raised his eyes to the stars above--steel-blue stars in the clear -air. _I know too, that these are the Himalaya mountains--that this is -the roof of the world._ - -He turned and looked into the cave. A man stood nearby. He wore a -white gown, yet his form was not hidden; a magnificent six-foot body -supported a head of majestic proportions. The man's face was a magnet -and Lee would never know whether or not he was handsome. He would -remember that the mouth was firm, the nose straight, the eyes dark and -arresting. They were not golden, yet the light that came from them, -illuminating the face that would forever leave an impression of shining -gold. - -The man with the golden eyes. - -Lee said, "I am a stranger. How did I get here? Why have I come?" - -The man moved forward and stood looking out across the mountains. But -he appeared to be seeing much further--into infinity itself. He said -nothing. - -"Please. Why am I here?" - -The man paid no attention. He finished regarding whatever had -interested him and turned back into the cave. - -"Please." - -At this word, the man stopped and turned. He looked at Lee for a long -moment. Then he said, "Be very careful. A fall from this height would -be fatal." With that he moved back into the cave, and.... - -Lee Hayden was lying in a sweat-soaked bed. - -But his awakening was different from any he had ever known. Later, -trying to analyze this, he concluded he had awakened from not having -been asleep; awakened as it were, from an awakened state. When he tried -to rationalize this contradiction he could not do so. Neither could he -change it. - -But he sprang from the bed with a wordless cry and was on his knees -clawing for the whiskey bottle. There was more than a double shot left. -He gulped it down. He dropped the bottle and sobbed. Then all strength -went out of him and he collapsed into sleep there on the whiskey-soaked -carpet.... - - * * * * * - -Daphne led Lee to a table and asked, "What would you like to drink?" - -"Nothing. Do you have a little time?" - -"Of course." She sat down opposite him. - -"I had a--well, a dream last night." - -"A dream?" - -His eyes narrowed slightly. "You ask that as a question. Don't you -think it was a dream?" - -"I would have no way of knowing." - -"I don't think that's quite true." - -"You feel I would deceive you then?" - -"No, just that we're talking on different planes perhaps. I think you -know far more than you reveal. You knew Mr. Clifford told me I was -ready to see the man with the golden eyes." - -"Yes." - -"I saw him." - -She was regarding him with the abstract warmth he had seen in her eyes -before. "What do you wish of me?" - -"I--I don't know. I came here to--" - -Daphne reached out suddenly and laid her hand on his. "All I can tell -you is this, Lee. Neither I nor Mr. Clifford nor anyone else can help -you anymore. All that can be done for you has been done. From here you -rise or fall by what's inside you." - -"Then you're resigning your job?" Lee spoke lightly, but with a touch -of bitterness underneath. - -"What job?" - -"Mr. Clifford told you to serve me in any way you could." - -"That still goes, Lee. What do you want?" - -"You're a very beautiful girl. What do you suppose I want? You." - -"You mean you're in love with me?" - -"Does it seem so incredible?" - -She smiled at him. "You're just exploring--hunting--aren't you? Still -trying to get answers to questions. You know that as a man and woman we -have nothing for each other?" - -He was trying to look behind her eyes. "Yes, I know it. Where is your -love, Daphne?" - -"The same place yours is. We're looking for the same thing." - -"But can't we hunt for it hand in hand?" - -"No. Each must seek in his own way." - -"But you have a clearer idea of what it is we seek than I?" - -"Perhaps--perhaps not. Who can say?" - -Lee got up and extended his hand. "Thanks. You've been very good to me." - -"You're going now?" - -"Yes." - -"Where?" - -"To find the man with the golden eyes." - -"Where is he?" - -"He's somewhere in the high Himalayas. That wasn't a dream I had. I was -there. I saw him." - -"But this time it will be different. The way is uncharted. There are no -road maps." - -"I can only do my best. I may fail. I may never find him." - -There was tenderness in her eyes. "I think you will. I'm very sure you -will...." - -"Goodbye, Daphne." - -Lee walked the streets until dawn and as he reentered his room it was -to pack a bag and check his cash resources. And it was as if he had -become two men walking in one skin; two minds housed in one brain. One -mind was that of a fanatic; the other, reasonable and cautious. - -The reasonable man said, _You're a fool. They lock up people like you. -Too much whiskey. Too much of a mental beating. You've gone off your -rocker._ - -The fanatic said, _He's in the Himalayas. I'm going to find him. So -that's where I'm going._ - -The reasonable man said, _You're nuts._ - -The fanatic said, _Granted, but this nut's heading for India._ - - * * * * * - -Lee flew east. Seven days later he was in Karachi. He scarcely looked -at the place, his eyes turning northward toward Baluchistan; eastward -toward Lucknow and Delhi. In that direction, the roof of the world was -a faint blue haze on the horizon of his imagination. His face was grim -and cold. Seven days had changed him. The fanatic rode high, now. The -reasonable man was a dim spector lurking uneasily in the background. - -He changed his money into the coin of the realm and took a train for -Delhi. He rode with strange people, scarcely aware of their presence. - -He discovered that traveling from Karachi to Delhi on the railroad of -India was a frustrating and confusing business. He began counting his -money carefully; hoarding it; haggling. When he arrived in Delhi, he -was a lean, bearded stranger with a fever behind his eyes. - -But there was a glory in his heart because of a new and sharpened -sensitivity. He was alone and friendless and almost without funds, yet -he had never before felt so able, so competent. - -While stalking the streets of Delhi looking for a cheap hotel, he heard -a cheerful voice calling his name. He turned. The voice came from a car -at the curb. A brand new Ford convertible. Lee spoke casually. "How are -you, Mr. Clifford?" - -The meeting was as strange and illogical as all the other events and -incidents of Lee's life had been since he had lain in a New York City -gutter. - -Mr. Clifford smiled warmly. "Mr. Hayden--I'm glad to see you." - -"A real surprise," Lee said. - -"How have you been?" - -"Fine--just fine." - -"Taking a little trip, I see." - -"Yes. Getting around a little. Seeing the world." - -A mad conversation in the light of the questions he had for Mr. -Clifford; and the things Mr. Clifford could logically have had to tell -him. - -But a new and exhilarating independence had sprung up in Lee Hayden. He -realized he was not the same man Clifford had rescued and drugged in -New York. - -"You really get around," Lee said. - -"Oh, yes. I have a lot to do." - -Lee turned away. - -"See you again sometime." - -"I hope so--and by the way, there's a man you might like to talk to. I -think you'd feel free to ask him questions. Perhaps he'd feel free to -answer." - -"Good--where can I find him?" - -Mr. Clifford considered for a moment, then said, "I'm going in that -direction. Jump in." - -Lee obeyed, throwing his rucksack in the back seat--the rucksack he'd -acquired, along with cash, for his expensive pigskin two-suiter. - -Mr. Clifford tooled the Ford carefully through the streets and out -onto the dusty, country road leading northeast. No word was spoken for -many miles; until Lee extended a hand toward the horizon. "Beautiful -mountains." - -"The Himalayas. The roof of the world." - -"No mountains on earth quite like them." - -"Rugged, aren't they?--and beautiful." - -"By the way, how is Daphne?" - -"In excellent health, I'm sure. I haven't seen her for a long time." - -Mr. Clifford turned off the road and pulled up beside a parked Cadillac -sedan. Nearby was a small hut and a tiny enclosure. Within the -enclosure, a goat munched on dry, colorless hay. - -In front of the hut a man sat cross-legged. He was very old and thin. -His skin was burned black by the sun and he wore only a white sheet -wound loosely around his body. His head was completely hairless and he -looked as though he had sat there for years without moving a muscle. - -A woman sat on the ground in front of him. The sun was just setting -and its rays played on her magnificent white hair; upon the wealth of -color in her dress--a dress, Lee estimated, that must have cost several -hundred dollars. Yet she sat in the dust before this ancient Indian -and hung upon his every word. - -"We will wait," Mr. Clifford said. - -After a while, the woman got to her feet and approached the Cadillac. -Lee saw her beautiful, calm, unlined face, and he was struck by her -resemblance to Daphne. She looked nothing like Daphne in either face -nor figure, yet they had in common an arresting mystic beauty that -seemed to come from within. - -The woman smiled at Mr. Clifford who smiled back. No word was said. -After she backed the car out and swung into the road, Mr. Clifford -said, "Wait, please," and got out of the car. He approached the -cross-legged man and sat down in the dust. - -They talked for a long time and when Mr. Clifford got up and returned -to the car, it was after dusk, and the heavens over India were filled -with great flaming stars. - -"I'll leave you now," Mr. Clifford said. "The man by the hut is known -only as Abat Krishna. You may approach and talk to him." - -"Thank you." - -Clifford hesitated before getting in behind the wheel. His eyes turned -toward the dark horizon. - -"There is danger ahead for you." - -"I am not afraid." - -"Perhaps you will find what you want. Perhaps you will die." - -"I will find my way. You said I might question this man?" - -"You may ask him anything you like. Goodbye." - -Mr. Clifford started the motor and drove away. The goat sent a bleat of -farewell through the star-lit darkness. - - * * * * * - -Lee went to the hut and sat down in front of Abat Krishna. The Indian -regarded the heavens and remained silent. - -"Who," Lee asked, "are the Great Ones?" - -"There are many names for the group. They have been called the Great -White Brotherhood. They have been referred to as the Chosen Ones. But -that name is misleading in that none are really chosen. The way is open -to all. Nothing is given, all is earned." - -"Is Mr. Clifford a Great One?" - -"Possibly. I do not know." - -"Was it sheer chance that he found me in the gutter and lifted me up?" - -"Nothing is sheer chance, my son. The most casual movement of an -insect's antenna is carefully planned." - -"What do the Great Ones do?" - -"Their duty--which is as simple and ordinary to them as ours is to us." - -"How may they be recognized?" - -"That would be difficult." - -"Where may one find a Great One?" - -"Anywhere. Wherever their duties and their destinies call them." - -"_What_, exactly, is a Great One?" - -"A child of God who, through his own efforts, has prepared himself--or -herself--for greater understanding of God's laws; for deeper awareness. -With this of course, comes greater responsibilities, and greater -achievements." - -"I have heard that there are men in India--" - -"Why necessarily India?" - -"--that there are men on this earth who can walk on water; who can pass -through solid substances. Is there any truth in that?" - -"I do not know. I have never met such a person." - -"Do you believe that such persons exist?" - -"The answer to that is difficult. Do you have complete understanding of -all natural laws? All God's laws?" - -"No. I have very little knowledge of them." - -"Then I might put it this way: A man walking through solid matter -would seem to you to be violating a natural law. But a trick of -elementary sleight-of-hand--the vanishing of a coin--could appear the -same to a child. So perhaps the answer lies in comparatively greater -understanding." - -Lee regarded Abat Krishna. Abat Krishna calmly regarded the heavens. -Lee said, "But the _greatest_ Great One of all is the man with the -golden eyes. Am I correct?" - -"You are correct." - -"I seek him." - -"A worthy endeavor. I have sought him for many years." - -"But I know where he is." - -"You are indeed fortunate." - -"I saw him in what many might consider a dream. But I know it was not a -dream!" - -"I'm sure it was not." - -"I saw him in a cave high in one of the Himalaya Mountains." - -"There are many mountains in the chain." - -"I shall find the right one." - -"I'm sure you shall." - -Lee leaned forward. "You said you seek him too. Then come with me." - -"I cannot. Each man follows his own destiny." - -"And yours--?" - -"To sit and study the heavens until I find myself worthy of lowering my -eyes." - -"A strange destiny." - -"All destinies are strange." - -"I am selfish enough to ask your help." - -"I have none to give." - -"No advice?" - -"One inconsequential bit perhaps. To the east is a settlement called -Almora. Trading caravans leave from there for the higher country--and -across." - -"Thank you." - -"The goat is ready to be milked. Refresh yourself before you go...." - - * * * * * - -Now Almora was far behind. And far behind was the trading caravan and -the men who took his money and left him to die many days later in the -cold foothills. But he had not died. - -And far behind were the more kindly natives of the colder, windier -places who clothed and fed him, treating him as a mad child rather than -a man. He left them and they shrugged and let him go. As though perhaps -they had seen other mad ones go before him. - -And he had gone on--higher and higher--driven by an ever-increasing -fever in an ever thinner and more emaciated body. Until, it seemed, he -could go no further. He lay for days in a small cave with the icy winds -snarling at the entrance while he wrestled with two fevers--one in his -spirit and one flaming through his flesh and his bones. - -He called in his agony to the man with the golden eyes, but there was -no response. An age passed; an age of semiconsciousness; another; then -he slept. - -When he awoke the physical fever was gone and the spiritual fever had -changed to something else; something he had never before known. He lay -for a long time, studying it, analyzing it. - -_Then he knew._ - -He knew and he smiled and got up and walked out of the cave, a pale -wraith of a wasted man; little more than an apparition that appeared -hardly able to stand. Yet he felt stronger and happier than ever -before in his life. His happiness came from the knowledge that his new -strength and understanding had not been given him; that he had earned -it; that he had paid bit by bit with his suffering. - -He told himself, _I was not helped. Only guided. I could have died. No -one protected me._ - -_And now I understand._ - -He left the cave and climbed, sure-footed, to a higher plateau. Here -there was no snow. Only wind-swept rock and meager soil. He walked -until he came to his destination. - -It was another hut; this one of sod and rock to stand against the wind -and the cold. A man sat in the doorway, swathed in furs. His skin was -dark from the weather, but it was impossible to call him either old or -young. - -Lee did not even dwell on these points. He only knew--from his -new perception, from the new mysticism he had earned with his -suffering--that the hut and the man would be there; that no chance had -brought him; that all had been arranged as surely as sunrise. - -He stood before the man and raised his eyes. "The mountains are high." - -"The mountains are always high. No man ever reaches the summit of his -mountain." - -"I know that now." - -"Nor even a cave halfway up the mountain's side." - -"That I know too. I also know--" - -"That the man with the golden eyes--?" - -"Is myself. He was there within me back in my room half a world away, -not in a cave in the Himalayas." - -"The man with the golden eyes, my son, is every man--the symbol of -perfection every man carries in his heart. It is the seeking after this -perfection that is life: The man with the golden eyes is the image of -what every man has the power to be." - -"I know these things now, but tell me. Why was it given to me to see -the image so clearly?" - -"Each man who reaches the depths is given a choice. On one hand is -death; on the other, the long climb back." - -"But there was more in my case. I was given help. I was guided." - -"Your footsteps may have been directed but you had to make the climb -yourself. You could always have given up and died along the way." - -"But why was I guided?" - -"There is a reason for everything, and there are Great Ones aware of -great necessities. You tried to invade outer space and failed. Perhaps -the time now demands that space be conquered, and thus your talents are -precious to the cosmic scheme." - -"There is so much I must learn. So far I must go in so little time. To -conquer space, a man must first conquer himself." - -The furred figure smiled. "Good. Now you are ready to learn. Sit down -my son. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Man With the Golden Eyes</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Alexander Blade</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: November 23, 2021 [eBook #66802]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN EYES ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<p>Lee Hayden had sent eleven men to their<br /> -death in deep space. Now he wanted only to die<br /> -himself. It was at this crucial point that he met—</p> - -<h1>The Man With The Golden Eyes</h1> - -<h2>By Alexander Blade</h2> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -August 1956<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>He lay in the gutter. In his mouth was the taste of whiskey and defeat. -There was mud and filth on his face, on his two-week shirt, on his -rag-tag suit; and as the street and the buildings rippled and wavered -before his eyes, a tape recorder in his mind played over and over:</p> - -<p><i>You're through, Hayden—all washed up—this is the bottom—you can't -go any lower—Lee Hayden—boy genius—all washed up—you made the trip -in a hurry, son—right down from the top to the bottom in nothing -flat—why don't you give up, why don't you kite off, you gutless wonder -of the ages—too weak to live—too yellow to die—</i></p> - -<p>On and on the tape played while along the street, came the fastidious -to step daintily around the wreck in the gutter; the callous to grin -and sneer; the timid to hurry by without looking.</p> - -<p>Then a voice: "Can I help you?"</p> - -<p>"Go 'way."</p> - -<p>A hand on his shoulder. The voice brisk, cheerful. "Come now—the -gutter is no place for a man of your caliber."</p> - -<p>Lee grunted and rolled over. Someone who knew him evidently; someone -echoing the myth of his "brilliance". "I said get the hell—" He opened -an eye. If this was an old friend, the man had gone out of memory. -Plump, cheerful, rosy-faced, well-cut clothes. A man with an air of -confidence.</p> - -<p>And something more.</p> - -<p>It was the <i>something more</i> that stopped Lee from swinging at the man's -plump chin after allowing himself to be lifted to his feet. The man -looked critically into Lee's face as the latter swayed. He took a snowy -handkerchief from his pocket. He wiped filth from Lee's face in the -manner of one wiping the face of a child. "I think you need a drink, -young fellow."</p> - -<p>Lee grinned crookedly. "Now you're talkin'."</p> - -<p>The plump man steered Lee down the street, around a corner, under a -glittering marquee. An immaculate doorman glared with frosty eyes. -His look of disgust partially sobered Lee. "Now wait a minute," Lee -mumbled. After all, a man never lost <i>all</i> his pride.</p> - -<p>He was drawing away, instinctively seeking shadows, when the doorman's -eyes shifted to the plump man. They cleared instantly. He saluted, -bowed, said "Good evening, Mr. Clifford."</p> - -<p>"Good evening, John. We need a snifter or two of your excellent scotch."</p> - -<p>"Certainly, sir." The doorman opened the portal as though the Secretary -of State were honoring the Lotus Room with his presence.</p> - -<p>Lee was busy marveling as they crossed the hotel lobby, brushing close -to hastily drawn-back mink coats and formal clothes. It was certainly -time for the bouncer to appear. But the hostess at the door of the -Lotus Room—a blonde dream wearing something that resembled a pink -cloud—gave the plump man a look Lee felt should have been reserved -only for God.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Clifford! What table would you like?"</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford smiled. "Good evening, my dear." He turned to Lee. "Mr. -Hayden, this is Daphne—Mr. Lee Hayden, my dear."</p> - -<p>Her eyes turned obediently to Lee and he was sober enough to note the -complete absence of revulsion; only pity in her friendly, open gaze. -He thanked her silently and thought: <i>Even a bum like me still has a -little pride and sensitivity left</i>.</p> - -<p>But a bum hides it behind grossness. Lee growled, "You got any decent -liquor in this snob-joint?"</p> - -<p>Snob-joint! Not so long ago he felt entirely at home in such places. -Not so long ago? Huh! A thousand years or so.</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford said, "A quiet place, Daphne. Mr. Hayden and I want to -talk."</p> - -<p>"Hell with that noise. We wanna drink."</p> - -<p>As they crossed the room, a man in formal clothes, obviously the -manager, stepped aside and bowed deferentially to Mr. Clifford. The -latter nodded pleasantly and eased Lee into a chair at a snowy table. -The waiter was there instantly. Lee remained silent while Mr. Clifford -ordered scotch. Then he could hold it in no longer.</p> - -<p>"All right—what the hell is all this?"</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford smiled easily. "You need a drink. Here we are."</p> - -<p>"But why here—in this plush joint?"</p> - -<p>"Why not. It's open for business. Would you prefer a reeking skid row -dive?"</p> - -<p>From anyone but Mr. Clifford, Lee thought, that would have been an -insult. "I'd be more at home there," he mumbled.</p> - -<p>"The greatest spacial flight theorist who ever lived? I think not." -Clifford's voice was a trifle sharp and the <i>something</i> stood out -again, holding back Lee's retort. At that moment the waiter arrived. He -poured the drinks and Mr. Clifford motioned. The waiter set the bottle -on the table and left.</p> - -<p>Lee knocked off his drink. His belligerence returned. "If you're doing -this for laughs, that's okay. I've got it coming. If you want an -autograph—no soap. I couldn't hold a pencil."</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford picked up the bottle and poured a second drink for Lee. He -had not touched his own. "So you failed," he said, pensively.</p> - -<p>"Yes, I failed."</p> - -<p>"So have others."</p> - -<p>Lee sneered. "You can pass it off with such beautiful casualness. Do -you realize eleven men were killed on that ship?"</p> - -<p>"I know. And it seems to me they faced their destiny with a lot more -courage than you are facing yours."</p> - -<p>"If I have to take a lecture with your liquor, I'd rather—"</p> - -<p>"Certainly not. Have another."</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford poured and Lee had the grace to feel ashamed. "Look—I'm -done—washed up—I'm at the bottom. Why should you—?"</p> - -<p>"On the bottom, yes. But sometimes people have to hit the bottom in -order to ascend to the top."</p> - -<p>Lee tossed off the third scotch. "Well I've hit bottom, that's for -sure."</p> - -<p>"You asked me why I brought you here, Mr. Hayden. That's the reason."</p> - -<p>"<i>What's</i> the reason?"</p> - -<p>"To see if you've really hit bottom."</p> - -<p>"You make it sound important," Lee sneered.</p> - -<p>"Believe me, it is."</p> - -<p>"To my enemies?"</p> - -<p>"No, not them alone. To your friends also—to all mankind."</p> - -<p>"What kind of guff you handing me?"</p> - -<p>"It is also important to you."</p> - -<p>"Nothing's important to me." Lee's head began swimming. And he -knew—without seeing it or being able to prove it—that Mr. Clifford -had drugged the last one. He eyed Mr. Clifford's throat and tried to -raise his hands. Impossible....</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford, a blurred figure spinning in a whirlpool said, -"Important, Mr. Hayden, because I think you are now ready to see the -man with the golden eyes."</p> - -<p>"The ma-man—wha' silly nonsense—"</p> - -<p>Lee Hayden passed out.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He awoke in softness. He opened his eyes and knew he was in bed. He -was also aware of three other things—a horrible taste in his mouth—a -splitting headache—and the fact he was not alone. He blinked and the -form beside the bed sharpened from a blur and turned into a beautiful -girl; a girl he felt he should know. Then he remembered. He had met her -the previous night in the Lotus Room. She had been introduced to him as -Daphne. She was still very beautiful; cool as a summer afternoon in the -woods.</p> - -<p>Though he had on completely adequate pajamas, Lee felt naked and ducked -again behind his belligerence. "What the hell are you doing here?"</p> - -<p>She regarded him with an almost childlike seriousness. "Mr. Clifford -thought you ought not to be alone when you awakened."</p> - -<p>"Very thoughtful of him since he was the guy who put me under. How -long have you been here?"</p> - -<p>"About two hours."</p> - -<p>Filled with contempt for himself, Lee unconsciously used the device of -redirecting it on the first handy person. Daphne was handy. His mouth -twisted knowingly. "Sure you're not here for another reason?"</p> - -<p>"What reason?"</p> - -<p>"Trying to pick up a few bucks, maybe?"</p> - -<p>The question in her eyes was obviously sincere, her look entirely -innocent, and he knew she was not that kind of a girl.</p> - -<p>Her expression changed only in that the question vanished. The -innocence remained. Yet there was something about this last that caught -Lee's attention. He tried to define it. The innocence of knowledge -rather than that of ignorance? He wondered.</p> - -<p>"If you want me to," Daphne said. "But no money would be required."</p> - -<p>Stunned, Lee forgot his headache and slowly swung his feet to the -floor. He studied her, the analytical mind that had made him a great -scientist while still a young man now framing the questions.</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"I do not need money."</p> - -<p>"I mean why are you willing to—"</p> - -<p>"Because Mr. Clifford asked that I serve you in any way I'm able."</p> - -<p>"Why the rotten—!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no! Mr. Clifford is one of the Great Ones." There was reverence in -her voice.</p> - -<p>"You must be a fool! Trusting a man who would ask you to do a thing -like that!"</p> - -<p>"You're putting words in my mouth. Mr. Clifford did not mention -sleeping with you. He only asked that I render any service possible."</p> - -<p>"And you don't think that was included?"</p> - -<p>"Possibly it was."</p> - -<p>"And you respect a man who would <i>let</i> it be included?"</p> - -<p>Daphne smiled, brilliantly, quietly. "Perhaps Mr. Clifford knew I would -not be asked to render any such service."</p> - -<p>"How could any man know that?"</p> - -<p>"I told you. Mr. Clifford is one—"</p> - -<p>"I know—I know. One of the Great Ones. What's that? A lodge of some -kind?"</p> - -<p>She pondered for a moment. "In a sense."</p> - -<p>Suddenly Lee's decency took command. "I'm sorry—more sorry than I can -say. Forgive me?"</p> - -<p>She returned his smile. "There is nothing to forgive. Would you like -some coffee?"</p> - -<p>"That's an idea, but mainly I want to talk."</p> - -<p>"About what?"</p> - -<p>"Who brought me here? Who—" he rubbed a hand across his chin. "Who -cleaned me up and shaved me?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Clifford."</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know. I imagine he had a reason."</p> - -<p>"Where is he now?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know. In China perhaps—South America—India."</p> - -<p>Lee smiled wryly. "Okay—okay. Ask a foolish question, you get a -foolish answer."</p> - -<p>"I spoke the truth."</p> - -<p>"What is he? A traveling sales man?"</p> - -<p>Again Daphne considered with deep seriousness. "I suppose you could -call him that?"</p> - -<p>"When will he be back? I want a few more words with him."</p> - -<p>"I doubt," Daphne said, "if you will ever see him again."</p> - -<p>Lee tried to stand. He made a bad job of it. He swayed and sat down -again. She was beside him instantly. "Your head?"</p> - -<p>"My <i>two</i> heads."</p> - -<p>"Perhaps I can help." Her fingers were cool on his skin; live, -soothing, merciful. Lee closed his eyes and was enveloped in a -wonderful sense of well-being. Then he realized what seemed like a -long time had been only a few moments. But his headache was gone.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He turned on her sharply. "How did you do that?"</p> - -<p>"It's very simple." Daphne went quickly to the phone and ordered coffee -and orange juice. She put down the receiver, faced Lee, and said, "You -wanted to talk?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. I have one big fat question. Why?"</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"Don't evade—please. You know what I mean. I was lying drunk in the -gutter. This man picked me up and put me here. Why?"</p> - -<p>"Perhaps you are more important to humanity than you realize."</p> - -<p>"Why do you say that?"</p> - -<p>"Because Mr. Clifford concerns himself with humanity."</p> - -<p>Lee felt a quick exasperation. Daphne seemed perfectly willing -to answer any question he asked, but her answers were about as -enlightening as midnight in a dark closet. He sought a different tack. -"Tell me about these Great Ones."</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid I can't."</p> - -<p>"Why not?"</p> - -<p>"Because I know so little about hem."</p> - -<p>"They don't tell you much, then?"</p> - -<p>"I am unworthy of knowing much. As yet I am hardly an initiate."</p> - -<p>A waiter brought the coffee and departed. Daphne poured from the silver -pot. "Is there anything else I can do?"</p> - -<p>"I think you've done enough. And I'm grateful. I haven't got the least -idea as to reasons—but I'm grateful."</p> - -<p>"I'll be at the Lotus Room if you want me."</p> - -<p>Daphne picked up her coat, smiled at Lee, and started toward the door. -As she extended her hand toward the knob, Lee said, "Just one more -thing."</p> - -<p>She turned. "Yes?"</p> - -<p>"Before I passed out, there was something this Clifford said. Something -about my being ready to meet the man with the golden eyes. What kind of -gibberish was that?"</p> - -<p>Daphne hesitated. For the first time, she seemed at a loss for an -answer.</p> - -<p>Lee asked, "Was it just my imagination?"</p> - -<p>"No."</p> - -<p>"What did he mean?"</p> - -<p>"Just what he said, I'm sure."</p> - -<p>Lee smothered his exasperation. "All right—then who <i>is</i> the man with -the golden eyes?"</p> - -<p>Daphne regarded Lee with a sort of impersonal fondness. "Someone I'm -sure you will meet very, very soon."</p> - -<p>She left before Lee could get in another question. He sat on the edge -of the bed staring moodily at his coffee cup. "She cured my headache," -he muttered, "but I've got a hunch this guy with the golden eyes is -going to bring it right back again...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was a complete new wardrobe on a chair by the bed, but -Lee—loaded down as he was by unanswered questions—refused to wonder -where it had come from. As he showered, towelled and dressed, his -thoughts were centered upon Mr. Clifford to the exclusion of all else.</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford. Who was he? Why had he done all this? A devious plot of -International Electronics to get one Lee Hayden back on his feet and -on the job again? Lee thought not. Two points stood against this idea. -First, International had definitely charged him off. Second, granted -they were having a last try, their procedure would in no way resemble -the mad pattern of Mr. Clifford.</p> - -<p>Then what lay behind this? Was it the amused gesture of a dilettante -philanthropist? No. There was something about this Clifford that put -him a cut above that. He was no idle operator. There was purpose -involved. But what purpose? Daphne had told him he would probably never -see Mr. Clifford again. So how could he ever make any sense out of what -had transpired in the last few hours?</p> - -<p>As Lee snatched up his key and headed for the lobby, he told himself, -<i>She put her hands on my forehead and the headache was gone instantly. -Or did I really have a headache?</i></p> - -<p>The clerk nodded deferentially. Lee faced him behind his old shield of -belligerence. "My name is Lee Hayden."</p> - -<p>"I know, sir."</p> - -<p>"I was in room 1106."</p> - -<p>The clerk nodded.</p> - -<p>"Who rented it for me?"</p> - -<p>"Why, Mr. Clifford, sir. I thought you knew."</p> - -<p>"I just wanted to find out if <i>you</i> knew." Lee tossed down his key. -"I'm going out."</p> - -<p>"Certainly, sir."</p> - -<p>"Well?"</p> - -<p>"Well, what, sir?"</p> - -<p>"The bill. Don't people pay to stay here—or is it a charity -institution?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no sir. We are not a charity institution. But your bill was paid -for by—"</p> - -<p>"I know—by Mr. Clifford." Lee scowled and strode out into the street.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He walked from the hotel straight to the nearest bar. He knocked off -a double bourbon, neat, and let it warm the lining of his stomach. It -felt good. He set down his glass and gestured to the barkeep. Then he -was looking into the refilled glass and making no move to lift it. A -moment later he was out in the street, realizing this was the first -time in eighteen months that he'd walked away from a drink.</p> - -<p>It was no reformation, though; merely a temporary diversion of his mind -from a prime objective; that of drinking himself to death; that of -blotting from his brain the picture of eleven men dying horribly as the -ship he had designed shivered and buckled and collapsed in deep space.</p> - -<p>Not even a temporary respite, because the horrible vision of his own -shortcomings—his own failure—was still there. But how could he have -known? Neither he nor anyone else could possibly have been aware of -the true conditions encountered out there. Theories and abstracts were -fine; almost enough to go on. But not quite. The payoff is always in -the doing. Otherwise, test pilots would not command fabulous salaries -to risk their necks on the first try-out. But eleven men! Snuffed out -because Lee Hayden's word had been taken. Eleven young men.</p> - -<p>And here he was, many hours later—back in his room with the bottle on -the table ready to blot out the dream—the nightmare of their final -agony—that ripped and tore at him everytime he closed his eyes.</p> - -<p>Still half sober, he fell into bed and began living it again, tasting -the horror, feeling his own flesh grind, his own bones break; living -their deaths over just as he had from that first moment when he'd -gotten word of the disaster; the last message they'd sent from space.</p> - -<p>He awoke in a pool of sweat and realized where he was. He snatched at -the bottle, hit it, knocked it off the table. He watched the liquor -slop out onto the carpet. He sobbed.</p> - -<p>Then, wide-awake—with the stench of fresh whiskey in his nostrils—he -saw the man with the golden eyes.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Or at least he thought he was awake. And even as it happened, there was -a certainty in his mind.</p> - -<p><i>This is no dream.</i></p> - -<p>He was standing, apparently unobserved, in a huge cave; a strange, -fabulous place and the wonder of it caught at his breath and made his -heart race.</p> - -<p>The cave was high in the side of a mountain. It was as though a huge -knife had cut horizontally into solid rock and sliced out a chunk nine -feet thick, fifty feet wide, and one hundred feet deep. The walls and -ceiling of the cave were of burnished black stone, the floor laid with -thick, silken carpet.</p> - -<p>Light came soft and shadowless from somewhere, seemingly sourceless, -and from the outer lip of the cave where Lee stood, he could see a -full, yellow moon riding the night-sky.</p> - -<p>The scene—above and below—was one of ecstacy; an overwhelming -sensation swept through Lee, something he had never known before. -At his feet was a sheer drop of ten thousand feet straight down the -face of the mountain to a green valley below. A silver river threaded -delicately through a valley hemmed in by towering snow-covered giants. -The air was like sharp wine and something within Lee said, <i>I am not -dreaming. I know I am here. I can feel the air in my lungs. I can feel -a new life vibrating through my flesh. I am still drunk but now it's -different. Now I'm drunk from a feeling of complete freedom. I know for -the first time that I have never been really alive.</i></p> - -<p>He raised his eyes to the stars above—steel-blue stars in the clear -air. <i>I know too, that these are the Himalaya mountains—that this is -the roof of the world.</i></p> - -<p>He turned and looked into the cave. A man stood nearby. He wore a -white gown, yet his form was not hidden; a magnificent six-foot body -supported a head of majestic proportions. The man's face was a magnet -and Lee would never know whether or not he was handsome. He would -remember that the mouth was firm, the nose straight, the eyes dark and -arresting. They were not golden, yet the light that came from them, -illuminating the face that would forever leave an impression of shining -gold.</p> - -<p>The man with the golden eyes.</p> - -<p>Lee said, "I am a stranger. How did I get here? Why have I come?"</p> - -<p>The man moved forward and stood looking out across the mountains. But -he appeared to be seeing much further—into infinity itself. He said -nothing.</p> - -<p>"Please. Why am I here?"</p> - -<p>The man paid no attention. He finished regarding whatever had -interested him and turned back into the cave.</p> - -<p>"Please."</p> - -<p>At this word, the man stopped and turned. He looked at Lee for a long -moment. Then he said, "Be very careful. A fall from this height would -be fatal." With that he moved back into the cave, and....</p> - -<p>Lee Hayden was lying in a sweat-soaked bed.</p> - -<p>But his awakening was different from any he had ever known. Later, -trying to analyze this, he concluded he had awakened from not having -been asleep; awakened as it were, from an awakened state. When he tried -to rationalize this contradiction he could not do so. Neither could he -change it.</p> - -<p>But he sprang from the bed with a wordless cry and was on his knees -clawing for the whiskey bottle. There was more than a double shot left. -He gulped it down. He dropped the bottle and sobbed. Then all strength -went out of him and he collapsed into sleep there on the whiskey-soaked -carpet....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Daphne led Lee to a table and asked, "What would you like to drink?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing. Do you have a little time?"</p> - -<p>"Of course." She sat down opposite him.</p> - -<p>"I had a—well, a dream last night."</p> - -<p>"A dream?"</p> - -<p>His eyes narrowed slightly. "You ask that as a question. Don't you -think it was a dream?"</p> - -<p>"I would have no way of knowing."</p> - -<p>"I don't think that's quite true."</p> - -<p>"You feel I would deceive you then?"</p> - -<p>"No, just that we're talking on different planes perhaps. I think you -know far more than you reveal. You knew Mr. Clifford told me I was -ready to see the man with the golden eyes."</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"I saw him."</p> - -<p>She was regarding him with the abstract warmth he had seen in her eyes -before. "What do you wish of me?"</p> - -<p>"I—I don't know. I came here to—"</p> - -<p>Daphne reached out suddenly and laid her hand on his. "All I can tell -you is this, Lee. Neither I nor Mr. Clifford nor anyone else can help -you anymore. All that can be done for you has been done. From here you -rise or fall by what's inside you."</p> - -<p>"Then you're resigning your job?" Lee spoke lightly, but with a touch -of bitterness underneath.</p> - -<p>"What job?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Clifford told you to serve me in any way you could."</p> - -<p>"That still goes, Lee. What do you want?"</p> - -<p>"You're a very beautiful girl. What do you suppose I want? You."</p> - -<p>"You mean you're in love with me?"</p> - -<p>"Does it seem so incredible?"</p> - -<p>She smiled at him. "You're just exploring—hunting—aren't you? Still -trying to get answers to questions. You know that as a man and woman we -have nothing for each other?"</p> - -<p>He was trying to look behind her eyes. "Yes, I know it. Where is your -love, Daphne?"</p> - -<p>"The same place yours is. We're looking for the same thing."</p> - -<p>"But can't we hunt for it hand in hand?"</p> - -<p>"No. Each must seek in his own way."</p> - -<p>"But you have a clearer idea of what it is we seek than I?"</p> - -<p>"Perhaps—perhaps not. Who can say?"</p> - -<p>Lee got up and extended his hand. "Thanks. You've been very good to me."</p> - -<p>"You're going now?"</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"Where?"</p> - -<p>"To find the man with the golden eyes."</p> - -<p>"Where is he?"</p> - -<p>"He's somewhere in the high Himalayas. That wasn't a dream I had. I was -there. I saw him."</p> - -<p>"But this time it will be different. The way is uncharted. There are no -road maps."</p> - -<p>"I can only do my best. I may fail. I may never find him."</p> - -<p>There was tenderness in her eyes. "I think you will. I'm very sure you -will...."</p> - -<p>"Goodbye, Daphne."</p> - -<p>Lee walked the streets until dawn and as he reentered his room it was -to pack a bag and check his cash resources. And it was as if he had -become two men walking in one skin; two minds housed in one brain. One -mind was that of a fanatic; the other, reasonable and cautious.</p> - -<p>The reasonable man said, <i>You're a fool. They lock up people like you. -Too much whiskey. Too much of a mental beating. You've gone off your -rocker.</i></p> - -<p>The fanatic said, <i>He's in the Himalayas. I'm going to find him. So -that's where I'm going.</i></p> - -<p>The reasonable man said, <i>You're nuts.</i></p> - -<p>The fanatic said, <i>Granted, but this nut's heading for India.</i></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Lee flew east. Seven days later he was in Karachi. He scarcely looked -at the place, his eyes turning northward toward Baluchistan; eastward -toward Lucknow and Delhi. In that direction, the roof of the world was -a faint blue haze on the horizon of his imagination. His face was grim -and cold. Seven days had changed him. The fanatic rode high, now. The -reasonable man was a dim spector lurking uneasily in the background.</p> - -<p>He changed his money into the coin of the realm and took a train for -Delhi. He rode with strange people, scarcely aware of their presence.</p> - -<p>He discovered that traveling from Karachi to Delhi on the railroad of -India was a frustrating and confusing business. He began counting his -money carefully; hoarding it; haggling. When he arrived in Delhi, he -was a lean, bearded stranger with a fever behind his eyes.</p> - -<p>But there was a glory in his heart because of a new and sharpened -sensitivity. He was alone and friendless and almost without funds, yet -he had never before felt so able, so competent.</p> - -<p>While stalking the streets of Delhi looking for a cheap hotel, he heard -a cheerful voice calling his name. He turned. The voice came from a car -at the curb. A brand new Ford convertible. Lee spoke casually. "How are -you, Mr. Clifford?"</p> - -<p>The meeting was as strange and illogical as all the other events and -incidents of Lee's life had been since he had lain in a New York City -gutter.</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford smiled warmly. "Mr. Hayden—I'm glad to see you."</p> - -<p>"A real surprise," Lee said.</p> - -<p>"How have you been?"</p> - -<p>"Fine—just fine."</p> - -<p>"Taking a little trip, I see."</p> - -<p>"Yes. Getting around a little. Seeing the world."</p> - -<p>A mad conversation in the light of the questions he had for Mr. -Clifford; and the things Mr. Clifford could logically have had to tell -him.</p> - -<p>But a new and exhilarating independence had sprung up in Lee Hayden. He -realized he was not the same man Clifford had rescued and drugged in -New York.</p> - -<p>"You really get around," Lee said.</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes. I have a lot to do."</p> - -<p>Lee turned away.</p> - -<p>"See you again sometime."</p> - -<p>"I hope so—and by the way, there's a man you might like to talk to. I -think you'd feel free to ask him questions. Perhaps he'd feel free to -answer."</p> - -<p>"Good—where can I find him?"</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford considered for a moment, then said, "I'm going in that -direction. Jump in."</p> - -<p>Lee obeyed, throwing his rucksack in the back seat—the rucksack he'd -acquired, along with cash, for his expensive pigskin two-suiter.</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford tooled the Ford carefully through the streets and out -onto the dusty, country road leading northeast. No word was spoken for -many miles; until Lee extended a hand toward the horizon. "Beautiful -mountains."</p> - -<p>"The Himalayas. The roof of the world."</p> - -<p>"No mountains on earth quite like them."</p> - -<p>"Rugged, aren't they?—and beautiful."</p> - -<p>"By the way, how is Daphne?"</p> - -<p>"In excellent health, I'm sure. I haven't seen her for a long time."</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford turned off the road and pulled up beside a parked Cadillac -sedan. Nearby was a small hut and a tiny enclosure. Within the -enclosure, a goat munched on dry, colorless hay.</p> - -<p>In front of the hut a man sat cross-legged. He was very old and thin. -His skin was burned black by the sun and he wore only a white sheet -wound loosely around his body. His head was completely hairless and he -looked as though he had sat there for years without moving a muscle.</p> - -<p>A woman sat on the ground in front of him. The sun was just setting -and its rays played on her magnificent white hair; upon the wealth of -color in her dress—a dress, Lee estimated, that must have cost several -hundred dollars. Yet she sat in the dust before this ancient Indian -and hung upon his every word.</p> - -<p>"We will wait," Mr. Clifford said.</p> - -<p>After a while, the woman got to her feet and approached the Cadillac. -Lee saw her beautiful, calm, unlined face, and he was struck by her -resemblance to Daphne. She looked nothing like Daphne in either face -nor figure, yet they had in common an arresting mystic beauty that -seemed to come from within.</p> - -<p>The woman smiled at Mr. Clifford who smiled back. No word was said. -After she backed the car out and swung into the road, Mr. Clifford -said, "Wait, please," and got out of the car. He approached the -cross-legged man and sat down in the dust.</p> - -<p>They talked for a long time and when Mr. Clifford got up and returned -to the car, it was after dusk, and the heavens over India were filled -with great flaming stars.</p> - -<p>"I'll leave you now," Mr. Clifford said. "The man by the hut is known -only as Abat Krishna. You may approach and talk to him."</p> - -<p>"Thank you."</p> - -<p>Clifford hesitated before getting in behind the wheel. His eyes turned -toward the dark horizon.</p> - -<p>"There is danger ahead for you."</p> - -<p>"I am not afraid."</p> - -<p>"Perhaps you will find what you want. Perhaps you will die."</p> - -<p>"I will find my way. You said I might question this man?"</p> - -<p>"You may ask him anything you like. Goodbye."</p> - -<p>Mr. Clifford started the motor and drove away. The goat sent a bleat of -farewell through the star-lit darkness.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Lee went to the hut and sat down in front of Abat Krishna. The Indian -regarded the heavens and remained silent.</p> - -<p>"Who," Lee asked, "are the Great Ones?"</p> - -<p>"There are many names for the group. They have been called the Great -White Brotherhood. They have been referred to as the Chosen Ones. But -that name is misleading in that none are really chosen. The way is open -to all. Nothing is given, all is earned."</p> - -<p>"Is Mr. Clifford a Great One?"</p> - -<p>"Possibly. I do not know."</p> - -<p>"Was it sheer chance that he found me in the gutter and lifted me up?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing is sheer chance, my son. The most casual movement of an -insect's antenna is carefully planned."</p> - -<p>"What do the Great Ones do?"</p> - -<p>"Their duty—which is as simple and ordinary to them as ours is to us."</p> - -<p>"How may they be recognized?"</p> - -<p>"That would be difficult."</p> - -<p>"Where may one find a Great One?"</p> - -<p>"Anywhere. Wherever their duties and their destinies call them."</p> - -<p>"<i>What</i>, exactly, is a Great One?"</p> - -<p>"A child of God who, through his own efforts, has prepared himself—or -herself—for greater understanding of God's laws; for deeper awareness. -With this of course, comes greater responsibilities, and greater -achievements."</p> - -<p>"I have heard that there are men in India—"</p> - -<p>"Why necessarily India?"</p> - -<p>"—that there are men on this earth who can walk on water; who can pass -through solid substances. Is there any truth in that?"</p> - -<p>"I do not know. I have never met such a person."</p> - -<p>"Do you believe that such persons exist?"</p> - -<p>"The answer to that is difficult. Do you have complete understanding of -all natural laws? All God's laws?"</p> - -<p>"No. I have very little knowledge of them."</p> - -<p>"Then I might put it this way: A man walking through solid matter -would seem to you to be violating a natural law. But a trick of -elementary sleight-of-hand—the vanishing of a coin—could appear the -same to a child. So perhaps the answer lies in comparatively greater -understanding."</p> - -<p>Lee regarded Abat Krishna. Abat Krishna calmly regarded the heavens. -Lee said, "But the <i>greatest</i> Great One of all is the man with the -golden eyes. Am I correct?"</p> - -<p>"You are correct."</p> - -<p>"I seek him."</p> - -<p>"A worthy endeavor. I have sought him for many years."</p> - -<p>"But I know where he is."</p> - -<p>"You are indeed fortunate."</p> - -<p>"I saw him in what many might consider a dream. But I know it was not a -dream!"</p> - -<p>"I'm sure it was not."</p> - -<p>"I saw him in a cave high in one of the Himalaya Mountains."</p> - -<p>"There are many mountains in the chain."</p> - -<p>"I shall find the right one."</p> - -<p>"I'm sure you shall."</p> - -<p>Lee leaned forward. "You said you seek him too. Then come with me."</p> - -<p>"I cannot. Each man follows his own destiny."</p> - -<p>"And yours—?"</p> - -<p>"To sit and study the heavens until I find myself worthy of lowering my -eyes."</p> - -<p>"A strange destiny."</p> - -<p>"All destinies are strange."</p> - -<p>"I am selfish enough to ask your help."</p> - -<p>"I have none to give."</p> - -<p>"No advice?"</p> - -<p>"One inconsequential bit perhaps. To the east is a settlement called -Almora. Trading caravans leave from there for the higher country—and -across."</p> - -<p>"Thank you."</p> - -<p>"The goat is ready to be milked. Refresh yourself before you go...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Now Almora was far behind. And far behind was the trading caravan and -the men who took his money and left him to die many days later in the -cold foothills. But he had not died.</p> - -<p>And far behind were the more kindly natives of the colder, windier -places who clothed and fed him, treating him as a mad child rather than -a man. He left them and they shrugged and let him go. As though perhaps -they had seen other mad ones go before him.</p> - -<p>And he had gone on—higher and higher—driven by an ever-increasing -fever in an ever thinner and more emaciated body. Until, it seemed, he -could go no further. He lay for days in a small cave with the icy winds -snarling at the entrance while he wrestled with two fevers—one in his -spirit and one flaming through his flesh and his bones.</p> - -<p>He called in his agony to the man with the golden eyes, but there was -no response. An age passed; an age of semiconsciousness; another; then -he slept.</p> - -<p>When he awoke the physical fever was gone and the spiritual fever had -changed to something else; something he had never before known. He lay -for a long time, studying it, analyzing it.</p> - -<p><i>Then he knew.</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>He knew and he smiled and got up and walked out of the cave, a pale -wraith of a wasted man; little more than an apparition that appeared -hardly able to stand. Yet he felt stronger and happier than ever -before in his life. His happiness came from the knowledge that his new -strength and understanding had not been given him; that he had earned -it; that he had paid bit by bit with his suffering.</p> - -<p>He told himself, <i>I was not helped. Only guided. I could have died. No -one protected me.</i></p> - -<p><i>And now I understand.</i></p> - -<p>He left the cave and climbed, sure-footed, to a higher plateau. Here -there was no snow. Only wind-swept rock and meager soil. He walked -until he came to his destination.</p> - -<p>It was another hut; this one of sod and rock to stand against the wind -and the cold. A man sat in the doorway, swathed in furs. His skin was -dark from the weather, but it was impossible to call him either old or -young.</p> - -<p>Lee did not even dwell on these points. He only knew—from his -new perception, from the new mysticism he had earned with his -suffering—that the hut and the man would be there; that no chance had -brought him; that all had been arranged as surely as sunrise.</p> - -<p>He stood before the man and raised his eyes. "The mountains are high."</p> - -<p>"The mountains are always high. No man ever reaches the summit of his -mountain."</p> - -<p>"I know that now."</p> - -<p>"Nor even a cave halfway up the mountain's side."</p> - -<p>"That I know too. I also know—"</p> - -<p>"That the man with the golden eyes—?"</p> - -<p>"Is myself. He was there within me back in my room half a world away, -not in a cave in the Himalayas."</p> - -<p>"The man with the golden eyes, my son, is every man—the symbol of -perfection every man carries in his heart. It is the seeking after this -perfection that is life: The man with the golden eyes is the image of -what every man has the power to be."</p> - -<p>"I know these things now, but tell me. Why was it given to me to see -the image so clearly?"</p> - -<p>"Each man who reaches the depths is given a choice. On one hand is -death; on the other, the long climb back."</p> - -<p>"But there was more in my case. I was given help. I was guided."</p> - -<p>"Your footsteps may have been directed but you had to make the climb -yourself. You could always have given up and died along the way."</p> - -<p>"But why was I guided?"</p> - -<p>"There is a reason for everything, and there are Great Ones aware of -great necessities. You tried to invade outer space and failed. Perhaps -the time now demands that space be conquered, and thus your talents are -precious to the cosmic scheme."</p> - -<p>"There is so much I must learn. So far I must go in so little time. To -conquer space, a man must first conquer himself."</p> - -<p>The furred figure smiled. "Good. Now you are ready to learn. Sit down -my son. 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