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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Bores
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Posting Date: April 17, 2013 [EBook #6680]
+Release Date: October, 2004
+First Posted: January 12, 2003
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BORES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+LES FÂCHEUX.
+
+COMÉDIE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BORES.
+
+A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+AUGUST 17TH, 1661.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+_The Bores_ is a character-comedy; but the peculiarities taken as
+the text of the play, instead of being confined to one or two of the
+leading personages, are exhibited in different forms by a succession of
+characters, introduced one after the other in rapid course, and
+disappearing after the brief performance of their rôles. We do not find
+an evolution of natural situations, proceeding from the harmonious
+conduct of two or three individuals, but rather a disjointed series of
+tableaux--little more than a collection of monologues strung together on
+a weak thread of explanatory comments, enunciated by an unwilling
+listener.
+
+The method is less artistic, if not less natural; less productive of
+situations, if capable of greater variety of illustrations. The
+circumstances under which Molière undertook to compose the play explain
+his resort to the weaker manner of analysis. The Superintendent-General
+of finance, [Footnote: In Sir James Stephen's _Lectures on the History
+of France_, vol. ii. page 22, I find: "Still further to centralize
+the fiscal economy of France, Philippe le Bel created a new ministry. At
+the head of it he placed an officer of high rank, entitled the
+Superintendent-General of Finance, and, in subordination to him, he
+appointed other officers designated as Treasurers."] Nicolas Fouquet
+desiring to entertain the King, Queen, and court at his mansion of
+Vaux-le-Vicomte, asked for a comedy at the hands of the Palais-Royal
+company, who had discovered the secret of pleasing the Grand Monarque.
+Molière had but a fortnight's notice; and he was expected, moreover, to
+accommodate his muse to various prescribed styles of entertainment.
+
+Fouquet wanted a cue for a dance by Beauchamp, for a picture by Lebrun,
+for stage devices by Torelli. Molière was equal to the emergency. Never,
+perhaps, was a literary work written to order so worthy of being
+preserved for future generations. Not only were the intermediate ballets
+made sufficiently elastic to give scope for the ingenuity of the poet's
+auxiliaries, but the written scenes themselves were admirably contrived
+to display all the varied talent of his troupe.
+
+The success of the piece on its first representation, which took place
+on the 17th of August, 1661, was unequivocal; and the King summoned the
+author before him in order personally to express his satisfaction. It is
+related that, the Marquis de Soyecourt passing by at the time, the King
+said to Molière, "There is an original character which you have not yet
+copied." The suggestion was enough. The result was that, at the next
+representation, Dorante the hunter, a new bore, took his place in the
+comedy.
+
+Louis XIV. thought he had discovered in Molière a convenient mouthpiece
+for his dislikes. The selfish king was no lover of the nobility, and was
+short-sighted enough not to perceive that the author's attacks on the
+nobles paved the way for doubts on the divine right of kings themselves.
+Hence he protected Molière, and entrusted to him the care of writing
+plays for his entertainments; the public did not, however, see _The
+Bores_ until the 4th of November of the same year; and then it met
+with great success.
+
+The bore is ubiquitous, on the stage as in everyday life. Horace painted
+him in his famous passage commencing _Ibam forte via Sacrâ_, and the
+French satirist, Regnier, has depicted him in his eighth satire.
+
+Molière had no doubt seen the Italian farce, "_Le Case svaliggiate
+ovvera gli Interrompimenti di Pantalone_," which appears to have
+directly provided him with the thread of his comedy. This is the gist of
+it. A girl, courted by Pantaloon, gives him a rendezvous in order to
+escape from his importunities; whilst a cunning knave sends across his
+path a medley of persons to delay his approach, and cause him to break
+his appointment. This delay, however, is about the only point of
+resemblance between the Italian play and the French comedy.
+
+There are some passages in Scarron's _Epîtres chagrines_ addressed
+to the Marshal d'Albret and M. d'Elbène, from which our author must have
+derived a certain amount of inspiration; for in these epistles the
+writer reviews the whole tribe of bores, in coarse but vigorous
+language.
+
+Molière dedicated _The Bores_ to Louis XIV. in the following words:
+
+
+SIRE,
+
+I am adding one scene to the Comedy, and a man who dedicates a book is a
+species of Bore insupportable enough. Your Majesty is better acquainted
+with this than any person in the kingdom: and this is not the first time
+that you have been exposed to the fury of Epistles Dedicatory. But
+though I follow the example of others, and put myself in the rank of
+those I have ridiculed; I dare, however, assure Your Majesty, that what
+I have done in this case is not so much to present You a book, as to
+have the opportunity of returning You thanks for the success of this
+Comedy. I owe, Sire, that success, which exceeded my expectations, not
+only to the glorious approbation with which Your Majesty honoured this
+piece at first, and which attracted so powerfully that of all the world;
+but also to the order, which You gave me, to add a _Bore_, of which
+Yourself had the goodness to give me the idea, and which was proved by
+everyone to be the finest part of the work. [Footnote: See Prefatory
+Memoir, page xxviii. ?] I must confess, Sire, I never did any thing with
+such ease and readiness, as that part, where I had Your Majesty's
+commands to work.
+
+The pleasure I had in obeying them, was to me more than _Apollo_
+and all the _Muses_; and by this I conceive what I should be able
+to execute in a complete Comedy, were I inspired by the same commands.
+Those who are born in an elevated rank, may propose to themselves the
+honour of serving Your Majesty in great Employments; but, for my part,
+all the glory I can aspire to, is to amuse You. [Footnote: In spite of
+all that has been said about Molière's passionate fondness for his
+profession, I imagine he must now and then have felt some slight, or
+suffered from some want of consideration. Hence perhaps the above
+sentence. Compare with this Shakespeare's hundred and eleventh sonnet:
+
+  "Oh! for my sake, do you with Fortune chide
+  The guilty goddess of my harmful deeds,
+  That did not better for my life provide
+  Than public means which public manners breeds.
+  Thence comes it that my name receives a brand;
+  And almost thence my nature is subdu'd
+  To what it works in, like the dyer's hand."]
+
+
+The ambition of my wishes is confined to this; and I think that, to
+contribute any thing to the diversion of her King, is, in some respects,
+not to be useless to France. Should I not succeed in this, it shall
+never be through want of zeal, or study; but only through a hapless
+destiny, which often accompanies the best intentions, and which, to a
+certainty, would be a most sensible affliction to SIRE, _Your_
+MAJESTY'S _most humble, most obedient, and most faithful Servant_,
+
+MOLIÈRE.
+
+
+In the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Molière, London,
+1732," the play of _The Bores_ is dedicated, under the name of
+_The Impertinents_, to the Right Honourable the Lord Carteret,
+[Footnote: John, Lord Carteret, born 22nd April, 1690, twice
+Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, was Secretary of State and head of the
+Ministry from February, 1742, until November 23, 1744, became Earl
+Granville that same year, on the death of his mother; was president of
+the Council in 1751, and died in 1763.] in the following words:
+
+
+MY LORD,
+
+It is by Custom grown into a sort of Privilege for Writers, of
+whatsoever Class, to attack Persons of Rank and Merit by these kind of
+Addresses. We conceive a certain Charm in Great and Favourite Names,
+which sooths our Reader, and prepossesses him in our Favour: We deem
+ourselves of Consequence, according to the Distinction of our Patron;
+and come in for our Share in the Reputation he bears in the World. Hence
+it is, MY LORD, that Persons of the greatest Worth are most expos'd to
+these Insults.
+
+For however usual and convenient this may be to a Writer, it must be
+confess'd, MY LORD, it may be some degree of Persecution to a
+_Patron_; Dedicators, as _Molière_ observes, being a Species
+of _Impertinents_, troublesome enough. Yet the Translator of this
+Piece hopes he may be rank'd among the more tolerable ones, in presuming
+to inscribe to Your LORDSHIP the _Facheux of Molière_ done into
+_English_; assuring himself that Your LORDSHIP will not think any
+thing this Author has writ unworthy of your Patronage; nor discourage
+even a weaker Attempt to make him more generally read and understood.
+
+Your LORDSHIP is well known, as an absolute Master, and generous Patron
+of Polite Letters; of those Works especially which discover a Moral, as
+well as Genius; and by a delicate Raillery laugh men out of their
+Follies and Vices: could the Translator, therefore, of this Piece come
+anything near the Original, it were assured of your Acceptance. He will
+not dare to arrogate any thing to himself on this Head, before so good a
+Judge as Your LORDSHIP: He hopes, however, it will appear that, where
+he seems too superstitious a Follower of his Author, 'twas not because
+he could not have taken more Latitude, and have given more Spirit; but
+to answer what he thinks the most essential part of a Translator, to
+lead the less knowing to the Letter; and after better Acquaintance,
+Genius will bring them to the Spirit.
+
+The Translator knows your LORDSHIP, and Himself too well to attempt Your
+Character, even though he should think this a proper occasion: The
+Scholar--the Genius--the Statesman--the Patriot--the Man of Honour and
+Humanity.--Were a Piece finish'd from these Out-lines, the whole World
+would agree in giving it Your LORDSHIP.
+
+But that requires a Hand--the Person, who presents This, thinks it
+sufficient to be indulg'd the Honour of subscribing himself
+
+_My_ LORD, _Your Lordship's most devoted, most obedient, humble
+servant,_
+
+THE TRANSLATOR.
+
+
+Thomas Shadwell, whom Dryden flagellates in his _Mac-Flecknoe_, and
+in the second part of _Absalom and Achitophel_, and whom Pope
+mentions in his _Dunciad_, wrote _The Sullen Lovers, or the
+Impertinents_, which was first performed in 1668 at the Duke of
+York's Theatre, by their Majesties' Servants.
+
+This play is a working up of _The Bores_ and _The
+Misanthrope_, with two scenes from _The Forced Marriage_, and a
+reminiscence from _The Love-Tiff_. It is dedicated to the "Thrice
+Noble, High and Puissant Prince William, Duke, Marquis, and Earl of
+Newcastle," because all Men, who pretend either to Sword or Pen, ought
+"to shelter themselves under Your Grace's Protection." Another reason
+Shadwell gives for this dedication is in order "to rescue this (play)
+from the bloody Hands of the Criticks, who will not dare to use it
+roughly, when they see Your Grace's Name in the beginning." He also
+states, that "the first Hint I received was from the Report of a Play of
+Molière's of three Acts, called _Les Fascheux_, upon which I wrote
+a great part of this before I read that." He borrowed, after reading it,
+the first scene in the second act, and Molière's story of Piquet, which
+he translated into Backgammon, and says, "that he who makes a common
+practice of stealing other men's wit, would if he could with the same
+safety, steal anything else." Shadwell mentions, however, nothing of
+borrowing from _The Misanthrope_ and _The Forced Marriage_.
+The preface was, besides political difference, the chief cause of the
+quarrel between Shadwell and Dryden; for in it the former defends Ben
+Jonson against the latter, and mentions that--"I have known some of late
+so insolent to say that Ben Jonson wrote his best playes without wit,
+imagining that all the wit playes consisted in bringing two persons upon
+the stage to break jest, and to bob one another, which they call
+repartie." The original edition of _The Sullen Lovers_ is partly in
+blank verse; but, in the first collected edition of Shadwell's works,
+published by his son in 1720, it is printed in prose. Stanford, "a
+morose, melancholy man, tormented beyond measure with the impertinence
+of people, and resolved to leave the world to be quit of them" is a
+combination of Alceste in _The Misanthrope_, and Éraste in _The
+Bores_; Lovel, "an airy young gentleman, friend to Stanford, one that
+is pleased with, and laughs at, the impertinents; and that which is the
+other's torment, is his recreation," is Philinte of _The
+Misanthrope_; Emilia and Carolina appear to be Célimène and Eliante;
+whilst Lady Vaine is an exaggerated Arsinoé of the same play. Sir
+Positive At-all, "a foolish knight that pretends to understand
+everything in the world, and will suffer no man to understand anything
+in his Company, so foolishly positive, that he will never be convinced
+of an error, though never so gross," is a very good character, and an
+epitome of all the Bores into one.
+
+The prologue of _The Sullen Lovers_ begins thus:--
+
+  "How popular are Poets now-a-days!
+  Who can more Men at their first summons raise,
+  Than many a wealthy home-bred Gentleman,
+  By all his Interest in his Country can.
+  They raise their Friends; but in one Day arise
+  'Gainst one poor Poet all these Enemies."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+Never was any Dramatic performance so hurried as this; and it is a
+thing, I believe, quite new, to have a comedy planned, finished, got up,
+and played in a fortnight. I do not say this to boast of an
+_impromptu_, or to pretend to any reputation on that account: but
+only to prevent certain people, who might object that I have not
+introduced here all the species of Bores who are to be found. I know
+that the number of them is great, both at the Court and in the City, and
+that, without episodes, I might have composed a comedy of five acts and
+still have had matter to spare. But in the little time allowed me, it
+was impossible to execute any great design, or to study much the choice
+of my characters, or the disposition of my subject. I therefore confined
+myself to touching only upon a small number of Bores; and I took those
+which first presented themselves to my mind, and which I thought the
+best fitted for amusing the august personages before whom this play was
+to appear; and, to unite all these things together speedily, I made use
+of the first plot I could find. It is not, at present, my intention to
+examine whether the whole might not have been better, and whether all
+those who were diverted with it laughed according to rule. The time may
+come when I may print my remarks upon the pieces I have written: and I
+do not despair letting the world see that, like a grand author, I can
+quote Aristotle and Horace. In expectation of this examination, which
+perhaps may never take place, I leave the decision of this affair to the
+multitude, and I look upon it as equally difficult to oppose a work
+which the public approves, as it is to defend one which it condemns.
+
+There is no one who does not know for what time of rejoicing the piece
+was composed; and that _fete_ made so much noise, that it is not
+necessary to speak of it [Footnote: _The Bores_, according to the
+Preface, planned, finished, got up, and played in a fortnight, was acted
+amidst other festivities, first at Vaux, the seat of Monsieur Fouquet,
+Superintendent of Finances, the 17th of August, 1661, in the presence of
+the King and the whole Court, with the exception of the Queen. Three
+weeks later Fouquet was arrested, and finally condemned to be shut up in
+prison, where he died in 1672. It was not till November, 1661, that
+_The Bores_ was played in Paris.] but it will not be amiss to say a
+word or two of the ornaments which have been mixed with the Comedy.
+
+The design was also to give a ballet; and as there was only a small
+number of first-rate dancers, it was necessary to separate the
+_entrées_ [Footnote: See Prefatory Memoir, page xxx., note 12] of
+this ballet, and to interpolate them with the Acts of the Play, so that
+these intervals might give time to the same dancers to appear in
+different dresses; also to avoid breaking the thread of the piece by
+these interludes, it was deemed advisable to weave the ballet in the
+best manner one could into the subject, and make but one thing of it and
+the play. But as the time was exceedingly short, and the whole was not
+entirely regulated by the same person, there may be found, perhaps, some
+parts of the ballet which do not enter so naturally into the play as
+others do. Be that as it may, this is a medley new upon our stage;
+although one might find some authorities in antiquity: but as every one
+thought it agreeable, it may serve as a specimen for other things which
+may be concerted more at leisure.
+
+Immediately upon the curtain rising, one of the actors, whom you may
+suppose to be myself, appeared on the stage in an ordinary dress, and
+addressing himself to the King, with the look of a man surprised, made
+excuses in great disorder, for being there alone, and wanting both time
+and actors to give his Majesty the diversion he seemed to expect; at the
+same time in the midst of twenty natural cascades, a large shell was
+disclosed, which every one saw: and the agreeable Naiad who appeared in
+it, advanced to the front of the stage, and with an heroic air
+pronounced the following verses which Mr. Pellison had made, and which
+served as a Prologue.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+(_The Theatre represents a garden adorned with Termini and several
+fountains. A Naiad coming out of the water in a shell.)
+
+  Mortals, from Grots profound I visit you,
+  Gallia's great Monarch in these Scenes to view;
+  Shall Earth's wide Circuit, or the wider Seas,
+  Produce some Novel Sight your Prince to please;
+  Speak He, or wish: to him nought can be hard,
+  Whom as a living Miracle you all regard.
+  Fertile in Miracles, his Reign demands
+  Wonders at universal Nature's Hands,
+  Sage, young, victorious, valiant, and august,
+  Mild as severe, and powerful as he's just,
+  His Passions, and his Foes alike to foil,
+  And noblest Pleasures join to noblest Toil;
+  His righteous Projects ne'er to misapply,
+  Hear and see all, and act incessantly:
+  He who can this, can all; he needs but dare,
+  And Heaven in nothing will refuse his Prayer.
+  Let Lewis but command, these Bounds shall move,
+  And trees grow vocal as Dodona's Grove.
+  Ye Nymphs and Demi-Gods, whose Presence fills
+  Their sacred Trunks, come forth; so Lewis wills;
+  To please him be our task; I lead the way,
+  Quit now your ancient Forms but for a Day,
+  With borrow'd Shape cheat the Spectator's Eye,
+  And to Theatric Art yourselves apply.
+
+(_Several Dryads, accompanied by Fawns and Satyrs, come forth out of
+the Trees and Termini_.)
+
+  Hence Royal Cares, hence anxious Application,
+  (His fav'rite Work) to bless a happy Nation:
+  His lofty Mind permit him to unbend,
+  And to a short Diversion condescend;
+  The Morn shall see him with redoubled Force,
+  Resume the Burthen and pursue his Course,
+  Give Force to Laws, his Royal Bounties share,
+  Wisely prevent our Wishes with his Care.
+  Contending Lands to Union firm dispose,
+  And lose his own to fix the World's Repose.
+  But now, let all conspire to ease the Pressure
+  Of Royalty, by elegance of Pleasure.
+  Impertinents, avant; nor come in sight,
+  Unless to give him more supreme Delight.
+
+
+[Footnote: The Naiad was represented by Madeleine Beéjart, even then
+good-looking, though she was more than forty years old. The verses are
+taken from the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Molière in
+French and English, London, 1732," and as fulsome as they well can be.
+The English translation, which is not mine, fairly represents the
+official nonsense of the original.]
+
+(_The Naiad brings with her, for the Play, one part of the Persons she
+has summoned to appear, whilst the rest begin a Dance to the sound of
+Hautboys, accompanied by Violins_.)
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
+
+
+ÉRASTE, _in love with Orphise_.
+
+DAMIS, _guardian to Orphise_.
+
+ALCIDOR, _a bore_.
+
+LISANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCIPPE, _a bore_.
+
+DORANTE, _a bore_.
+
+CARITIDÈS, _a bore_.
+
+ORMIN, _a bore_.
+
+FILINTE, _a bore_.
+
+LA MONTAGNE, _servant to Éraste_.
+
+L'ÉPINE, _servant to Damis_.
+
+LA RIVIERE _and_ TWO COMRADES.
+
+ORPHISE, _in love with Éraste_.
+
+ORANTE, _a female bore_.
+
+CLIMÈNE, _a female bore_.
+
+_Scene_.--PARIS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Footnote: Molière himself played probably the parts of Lisandre the
+dancer, Alcandre the duellist, or Alcippe the gambler, and perhaps all
+three, with some slight changes in the dress. He also acted Caritidès
+the pedant, and Dorante the lover of the chase. In the inventory taken
+after Molière's death we find: "A dress for the Marquis of the
+_Fâcheux_, consisting in a pair of breeches very large, and
+fastened below with ribbands, (_rhingrave_), made of common silk,
+blue and gold-coloured stripes, with plenty of flesh-coloured and yellow
+trimmings, with Colbertine, a doublet of Colbertine cloth trimmed with
+flame-coloured ribbands, silk stockings and garters." The dress of
+Caritidès in the same play, "cloak and breeches of cloth, with picked
+trimmings, and a slashed doublet." Dorante's dress was probably "a
+hunting-coat, sword and belt; the above-mentioned hunting-coat
+ornamented with fine silver lace, also a pair of stag-hunting gloves,
+and a pair of long stockings (_bas a botter_) of yellow cloth." The
+original inventory, given by M. Soulié, has _toile Colbertine_, for
+"Colbertine cloth." I found this word in Webster's Dictionary described
+from _The Fop's Dictionary of 1690_ as "A lace resembling net-work,
+the fabric of Mons. Colbert, superintendent of the French king's
+manufactures." In Congreve's _The Way of the World_, Lady Wishfort,
+quarrelling with her woman Foible (Act v., Scene i), says to her, among
+other insults: "Go, hang out an old Frisoneer gorget, with a yard of
+yellow colberteen again!"]
+
+
+
+
+THE BORES (_LES FÁCHEUX._)
+
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Good Heavens! under what star am I born, to be perpetually worried
+by bores? It seems that fate throws them in my way everywhere; each day
+I discover some new specimen. But there is nothing to equal my bore of
+to-day. I thought I should never get rid of him; a hundred times I
+cursed the harmless desire, which seized me at dinner time, to see the
+play, where, thinking to amuse myself, I unhappily was sorely punished
+for my sins. I must tell you how it happened, for I cannot yet think
+about it coolly. I was on the stage,
+
+[Footnote: It was the custom for young men of fashion to seat themselves
+upon the stage (see Vol. I.. Prefatory Memoir, page 26, note 7). They
+often crowded it to such an extent, that it was difficult for the actors
+to move. This custom was abolished only in 1759, when the Count de
+Lauraguais paid the comedians a considerable sum of money, on the
+condition of not allowing any stranger upon the stage.]
+
+in a mood to listen to the piece which I had heard praised by so many.
+The actors began; everyone kept silence; when with a good deal of noise
+and in a ridiculous manner, a man with large rolls entered abruptly,
+crying out "Hulloa, there, a seat directly!" and, disturbing the
+audience with his uproar, interrupted the play in its finest passage.
+Heavens! will Frenchmen, altho' so often corrected, never behave
+themselves like men of common-sense? Must we, in a public theatre, show
+ourselves with our worst faults, and so confirm, by our foolish
+outbursts what our neighbours everywhere say of us? Thus I spoke; and
+whilst I was shrugging my shoulders, the actors attempted to continue
+their parts. But the man made a fresh disturbance in seating himself,
+and again crossing the stage with long strides, although he might have
+been quite comfortable at the wings, he planted his chair full in front,
+and, defying the audience by his broad back, hid the actors from
+three-fourths of the pit. A murmur arose, at which anyone else would
+have felt ashamed; but he, firm and resolute, took no notice of it, and
+would have remained just as he had placed himself, if, to my misfortune,
+he had not cast his eyes on me. "Ah, Marquis!" he said, taking a seat
+near me, "how dost thou do? Let me embrace thee." Immediately my face
+was covered with blushes that people should see I was acquainted with
+such a giddy fellow. I was but slightly known to him for all that: but
+so it is with these men, who assume an acquaintance on nothing, whose
+embraces we are obliged to endure when we meet them, and who are so
+familiar with us as to thou and thee us. He began by asking me a hundred
+frivolous questions, raising his voice higher than the actors.
+Everyone was cursing him; and in order to check him I said, "I should
+like to listen to the play." "Hast thou not seen it, Marquis? Oh, on my
+soul, I think it very funny, and I am no fool in these matters. I know
+the canons of perfection, and Corneille reads to me all that he writes."
+Thereupon he gave me a summary of the piece, informing me scene after
+scene of what was about to happen; and when we came to any lines which
+he knew by heart, he recited them aloud before the actor could say them.
+It was in vain for me to resist; he continued his recitations, and
+towards the end rose a good while before the rest. For these fashionable
+fellows, in order to behave gallantly, especially avoid listening to the
+conclusion. I thanked Heaven, and naturally thought that, with the
+comedy, my misery was ended. But as though this were too good to be
+expected, my gentleman fastened on me again, recounted his exploits, his
+uncommon virtues, spoke of his horses, of his love-affairs, of his
+influence at court, and heartily offered me his services. I politely
+bowed my thanks, all the time devising some way of escape. But he,
+seeing me eager to depart, said, "Let us leave; everyone is gone." And
+when we were outside, he prevented my going away, by saying, "Marquis,
+let us go to the Cours to show my carriage."
+
+[Footnote: The Cours is that part of the Champs-Elysées called _le
+Cours-la-Reine_; because Maria de Medici, the wife of Henry IV., had
+trees planted there. As the theatre finished about seven o'clock in the
+evening, it was not too late to show a carriage.]
+
+"It is very well built, and more than one Duke and Peer has ordered a
+similar one from my coach-maker." I thanked him, and the better to get
+off, told him that I was about to give a little entertainment. "Ah, on
+my life, I shall join it, as one of your friends, and give the go-by
+to the Marshal, to whom I was engaged." "My banquet," I said, "is too
+slight for gentlemen of your rank." "Nay," he replied, "I am a man of
+no ceremony, and I go simply to have a chat with thee; I vow, I am tired
+of grand entertainments." "But if you are expected, you will give
+offence, if you stay away." "Thou art joking, Marquis! We all know each
+other; I pass my time with thee much more pleasantly." I was chiding
+myself, sad and perplexed at heart at the unlucky result of my
+excuse, and knew not what to do next to get rid of such a mortal
+annoyance, when a splendidly built coach, crowded with footmen before
+and behind, stopped in front of us with a great clatter; from which
+leaped forth a young man gorgeously dressed; and my bore and he,
+hastening to embrace each other, surprised the passers-by with their
+furious encounter. Whilst both were plunged in these fits of civilities,
+I quietly made my exit without a word; not before I had long groaned
+under such a martyrdom, cursing this bore whose obstinate persistence
+kept me from the appointment which had been made with me here.
+
+LA M. These annoyances are mingled with the pleasures of life. All goes
+not, sir, exactly as we wish it. Heaven wills that here below everyone
+should meet bores; without that, men would be too happy.
+
+ER. But of all my bores the greatest is Damis, guardian of her whom I
+adore, who dashes every hope she raises, and has brought it to pass that
+she dares not see me in his presence. I fear I have already passed the
+hour agreed on; it is in this walk that Orphise promised to be.
+
+LA M. The time of an appointment has generally some latitude, and is not
+limited to a second.
+
+ER. True; but I tremble; my great passion makes out of nothing a crime
+against her whom I love.
+
+LA M. If this perfect love, which you manifest so well, makes out of
+nothing a great crime against her whom you love; the pure flame which
+her heart feels for you on the other hand converts all your crimes into
+nothing.
+
+ER. But, in good earnest, do you believe that I am loved by her?
+
+LA M. What! do you still doubt a love that has been tried?
+
+ER. Ah, it is with difficulty that a heart that truly loves has complete
+confidence in such a matter. It fears to flatter itself; and, amidst its
+various cares, what it most wishes is what it least believes. But let us
+endeavour to discover the delightful creature.
+
+LA M. Sir, your necktie is loosened in front.
+
+ER. No matter.
+
+LA M. Let me adjust it, if you please.
+
+ER. Ugh, you are choking me, blockhead; let it be as it is.
+
+LA M. Let me just comb...
+
+ER. Was there ever such stupidity! You have almost taken off my ear with
+a tooth of the comb.
+
+[Footnote: The servants had always a comb about them to arrange the wigs
+of their masters, whilst the latter thought it fashionable to comb and
+arrange their hair in public (see _The Pretentious Young Ladies_).]
+
+LA M. Your rolls...
+
+ER. Leave them; you are too particular.
+
+LA M. They are quite rumpled.
+
+ER. I wish them to be so.
+
+LA M. At least allow me, as a special favour, to brush your hat,
+which is covered with dust.
+
+ER. Brush, then, since it must be so.
+
+LA M. Will you wear it like that?
+
+ER. Good Heavens, make haste!
+
+LA M. It would be a shame.
+
+ER. _(After waiting_). That is enough.
+
+LA M. Have a little patience.
+
+ER. He will be the death of me!
+
+LA M. Where could you get all this dirt?
+
+ER. Do you intend to keep that hat forever?
+
+LA M. It is finished.
+
+ER. Give it me, then.
+
+LA M. (_Letting the hat fall_). Ah!
+
+ER. There it is on the ground. I am not much the better for all your
+brushing! Plague take you!
+
+LA M. Let me give it a couple of rubs to take off...
+
+ER. You shall not. The deuce take every servant who dogs your heels, who
+wearies his master, and does nothing but annoy him by wanting to set
+himself up as indispensable!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ORPHISE, ALCIDOR, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+(_Orphise passes at the foot of the stage; Alcidor holds her hand._)
+
+ER. But do I not see Orphise? Yes, it is she who comes. Whither goeth
+she so fast, and what man is that who holds her hand? (_He bows to her
+as she passes, and she turns her head another way_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. What! She sees me here before her, and she passes by, pretending not
+to know me! What can I think? What do you say? Speak if you will.
+
+LA M. Sir, I say nothing, lest I bore you.
+
+ER. And so indeed you do, if you say nothing to me whilst I suffer such
+a cruel martyrdom. Give me some answer; I am quite dejected. What am I
+to think? Say, what do you think of it? Tell me your opinion.
+
+LA M. Sir, I desire to hold my tongue, and not to set up for being
+indispensable.
+
+ER. Hang the impertinent fellow! Go and follow them; see what becomes of
+them, and do not quit them.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I follow at a distance?
+
+ER. Yes.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Without their seeing me, or letting it appear
+that I was sent after them?
+
+ER. No, you will do much better to let them know that you follow them by
+my express orders.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I find you here?
+
+ER. Plague take you. I declare you are the biggest bore in the world!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Ah, how anxious I feel; how I wish I had missed this fatal appointment!
+I thought I should find everything favourable; and, instead of that, my
+heart is tortured.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--LISANDRE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+LIS. I recognized you under these trees from a distance, dear Marquis;
+and I came to you at once. As one of my friends, I must sing you a
+certain air which I have made for a little Couranto, which pleases all
+the connoisseurs at court, and to which more than a score have already
+written words.
+
+[Footnote: See Vol. I., page 164, note 14.]
+
+I have wealth, birth, a tolerable employment, and am of some consequence
+in France; but I would not have failed, for all I am worth, to compose
+this air which I am going to let you hear. (_He tries his voice_).
+La, la; hum, hum; listen attentively, I beg. (_he sings an air of a
+Couranto_). Is it not fine?
+
+ER. Ah!
+
+LIS. This close is pretty. (_He sings the close over again four or
+five times successively_). How do you like it?
+
+ER. Very fine, indeed.
+
+LIS. The steps which I have arranged are no less pleasing, and the
+figure in particular is wonderfully graceful. (_He sings the words,
+talks, and dances at the same time; and makes Éraste perform the lady's
+steps_). Stay, the gen-man crosses thus; then the lady crosses again:
+together: then they separate, and the lady comes there. Do you observe
+that little touch of a faint? This fleuret? These coupés running after
+the fair one.
+
+[Footnote: A fleuret was an old step in dancing formed of two half
+coupées and two steps on the point of the toes.]
+
+[Footnote: A coupé is a movement in dancing, when one leg is a little
+bent, and raised from the ground, and with the other a motion is made
+forward.]
+
+Back to back: face to face, pressing up close to her. (_After
+finishing_). What do you think of it, Marquis?
+
+ER. All those steps are fine.
+
+LIS. For my part, I would not give a fig for your ballet-masters.
+
+ER. Evidently.
+
+LIS. And the steps then?
+
+ER. Are wonderful in every particular.
+
+LIS. Shall I teach you them, for friendship's sake?
+
+ER. To tell the truth, just now I am somewhat disturbed ....
+
+LIS. Well, then, it shall be when you please. If I had those new words
+about me, we would read them together, and see which were the prettiest.
+
+ER. Another time.
+
+LIS. Farewell. My dearest Baptiste has not seen my Couranto; I am going
+to look for him. We always agree about the tunes; I shall ask him to
+score it.
+
+(_Exit, still singing_.)
+
+[Footnote: Jean Baptiste Lulli had been appointed, in the month of May
+of 1661, the same year that _The Bores_ was first played,
+_Surintendant et Compositeur de la musique de la chambre du Roi_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heavens! must we be compelled daily to endure a hundred fools, because
+they are men of rank, and must we, in our politeness, demean ourselves
+so often to applaud, when they annoy us?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+LA M. Sir, Orphise is alone, and is coming this way.
+
+ER. Ah, I feel myself greatly disturbed! I still love the cruel fair
+one, and my reason bids me hate her.
+
+LA M. Sir, your reason knows not what it would be at, nor yet what power
+a mistress has over a man's heart. Whatever just cause we may have to be
+angry with a fair lady, she can set many things to rights by a single
+word.
+
+ER. Alas, I must confess it; the sight of her inspires me with respect
+instead of with anger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ORPH. Your countenance seems to me anything but cheerful. Can it be my
+presence, Éraste, which annoys you? What is the matter? What is amiss?
+What makes you heave those sighs at my appearance?
+
+ER. Alas! can you ask me, cruel one, what makes me so sad, and what will
+kill me? Is it not malicious to feign ignorance of what you have done to
+me? The gentleman whose conversation made you pass me just now...
+
+ORPH. (_Laughing_). Does that disturb you?
+
+ER. Do, cruel one, anew insult my misfortune. Certainly, it ill becomes
+you to jeer at my grief, and, by outraging my feelings, ungrateful
+woman, to take advantage of my weakness for you.
+
+ORPH. I really must laugh, and declare that you are very silly to
+trouble yourself thus. The man of whom you speak, far from being able to
+please me, is a bore of whom I have succeeded in ridding myself; one of
+those troublesome and officious fools who will not suffer a lady to be
+anywhere alone, but come up at once, with soft speech, offering you a
+hand against which one rebels. I pretended to be going away, in order to
+hide my intention, and he gave me his hand as far as my coach. I soon
+got rid of him in that way, and returned by another gate to come to you.
+
+ER. Orphise, can I believe what you say? And is your heart really true
+to me?
+
+ORPH. You are most kind to speak thus, when I justify myself against
+your frivolous complaints. I am still wonderfully simple, and my foolish
+kindness...
+
+ER. Ah! too severe beauty, do not be angry. Being under your sway, I
+will implicitly believe whatever you are kind enough to tell me. Deceive
+your hapless lover if you will; I shall respect you to the last gasp.
+Abuse my love, refuse me yours, show me another lover triumphant; yes, I
+will endure everything for your divine charms. I shall die, but even
+then I will not complain.
+
+ORPH. As such sentiments rule your heart, I shall know, on my side ...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--ALCANDRE, ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. (_To Orphise_). Marquis, one word. Madame, I pray you to
+pardon me, if I am indiscreet in venturing, before you, to speak with
+him privately. (_Exit Orphise_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--ALCANDRE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. I have a difficulty, Marquis, in making my request; but a fellow
+has just insulted me, and I earnestly wish, not to be behind-hand with
+him, that you would at once go and carry him a challenge from me. You
+know that in a like case I should joyfully repay you in the same coin.
+
+ER. (_After a brief silence_). I have no desire to boast, but I was
+a soldier before I was a courtier. I served fourteen years, and I think
+I may fairly refrain from such a step with propriety, not fearing that
+the refusal of my sword can be imputed to cowardice. A duel puts one in
+an awkward light, and our King is not the mere shadow of a monarch. He
+knows how to make the highest in the state obey him, and I think that he
+acts like a wise Prince. When he needs my service, I have courage enough
+to perform it; but I have none to displease him. His commands are a
+supreme law to me; seek some one else to disobey him. I speak to you,
+Viscount, with entire frankness; in every other matter I am at your
+service. Farewell.
+
+[Footnote: During his long reign, Louis XIV. tried to put a stop to
+duelling; and, though he did not wholly succeed, he prevented the
+seconds from participating in the fight,--a custom very general before
+his rule, and to which Éraste alludes in saying that he does not "fear
+that the refusal of his (my) sword can be imputed to cowardice."]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. To the deuce with these bores, fifty times over! Where, now, has my
+beloved gone to?
+
+LA M. I know not.
+
+ER. Go and search everywhere till you find her. I shall await you in
+this walk.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT I.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Players at Mall, crying out "Ware!" compel Éraste to draw back. After
+the players at Mall have finished, Éraste returns to wait for Orphise.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Inquisitive folk advance, turning round him to see who he is, and cause
+him again to retire for a little while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT II.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Are the bores gone at last? I think they rain here on every side. The
+more I flee from them, the more I light on them; and to add to my
+uneasiness, I cannot find her whom I wish to find. The thunder and rain
+have soon passed over, and have not dispersed the fashionable company.
+Would to Heaven that those gifts which it showered upon us, had driven
+away all the people who weary me! The sun sinks fast; I am surprised
+that my servant has not yet returned.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ALCIPPE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ALC. Good day to you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). How now! Is my passion always to be turned aside?
+
+ALC. Console me, Marquis, in respect of a wonderful game of piquet which
+I lost yesterday to a certain Saint-Bouvain, to whom I could have given
+fifteen points and the deal. It was a desperate blow, which has been too
+much for me since yesterday, and would make me wish all players at the
+deuce; a blow, I assure you, enough to make me hang myself in public.--I
+wanted only two tricks, whilst the other wanted a piquet. I dealt, he
+takes six, and asks for another deal. I, having a little of everything,
+refuse. I had the ace of clubs (fancy my bad luck!) the ace, king,
+knave, ten and eight of hearts, and as I wanted to make the point, threw
+away king and queen of diamonds, ten and queen of spades. I had five
+hearts in hand, and took up the queen, which just made me a high
+sequence of five. But my gentleman, to my extreme surprise, lays down on
+the table a sequence of six low diamonds, together with the ace. I had
+thrown away king and queen of the same colour. But as he wanted a
+piquet, I got the better of my fear, and was confident at least of
+making two tricks. Besides the seven diamonds he had four spades, and
+playing the smallest of them, put me in the predicament of not knowing
+which of my two aces to keep. I threw away, rightly as I thought, the
+ace of hearts; but he had discarded four clubs, and I found myself made
+_Capot_ by a six of hearts, unable, from sheer vexation, to say a
+single word.
+
+[Footnote: In the seventeenth century, piquet was not played with
+thirty-two, but with thirty-six, cards; the sixes, which are now thrown
+away, remained then in the pack. Every player received twelve cards, and
+twelve remained on the table. He who had to play first could throw away
+seven or eight cards, the dealer four or five, and both might take fresh
+ones from those that were on the table. A trick counted only when taken
+with one of the court-cards, or a ten.
+
+Saint-Bouvain, after having taken up his cards, had in hand six small
+diamonds with the ace, which counted 7, a sequence of six diamonds from
+the six to the knave counted 16, thus together 23, before he began to
+play. With his seven diamonds he made seven tricks, but only counted 3,
+for those made by the ace, knave, and ten; this gave him 26. Besides his
+seven diamonds he had four spades, most likely the ace, king, knave, and
+a little one, and a six of hearts; though he made all the tricks he only
+counted 3, which gave him 29. But as Alcippe had not made a single
+trick, he was _capot_, which gave Saint-Bouvain 40; this with the
+29 he made before, brought the total up to 69. As the latter only wanted
+a _piquet_, that is 60,--which is when a player makes thirty in a
+game, to which an additional thirty are then added, Saint-Bouvain won
+the game. Alcippe does not, however, state what other cards he had in
+his hand at the moment the play began besides the ace of clubs and a
+high sequence of five hearts, as well as the eight of the same colour.]
+
+By Heaven, account to me for this frightful piece of luck. Could it be
+credited, without having seen it?
+
+[Footnote: Compare with Molière's description of the game of piquet
+Pope's poetical history of the game of Ombre in the third Canto of
+_The Rape of the Lock._]
+
+ER. It is in play that luck is mostly seen.
+
+ALC. 'Sdeath, you shall judge for yourself if I am wrong, and if it is
+without cause that this accident enrages me. For here are our two hands,
+which I carry about me on purpose. Stay, here is my hand, as I told you;
+and here ...
+
+ER. I understood everything from your description, and admit that you
+have a good cause to be enraged. But I must leave you on certain
+business. Farewell. But take comfort in your misfortune.
+
+ALC. Who; I? I shall always have that luck on my mind; it is worse than
+a thunderbolt to me. I mean to shew it to all the world. (_He retires
+and on the point of returning, says meditatively_) A six of hearts!
+two points.
+
+ER. Where in the world are we? Go where we will, we see nothing but
+fools.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Ha! how long you have been, and how you have made me suffer.
+
+LA M. Sir, I could not make greater haste.
+
+ER. But at length do you bring me some news?
+
+LA M. Doubtless; and by express command, from her you love, I have
+something to tell you.
+
+ER. What? Already my heart yearns for the message. Speak!
+
+LA M. Do you wish to know what it is?
+
+ER. Yes; speak quickly.
+
+LA M. Sir, pray wait. I have almost run myself out of breath.
+
+ER. Do you find any pleasure in keeping me in suspense?
+
+LA M. Since you wish to know at once the orders which I have received
+from this charming person, I will tell you.... Upon my word, without
+boasting of my zeal, I went a great way to find the lady; and if...
+
+ER. Hang your digressions!
+
+LA M. Fie! you should somewhat moderate your passion; and Seneca...
+
+ER. Seneca is a fool in your mouth, since he tells me nothing of all
+that concerns me. Tell me your message at once.
+
+LA M. To satisfy you, Orphise ... An insect has got among your hair.
+
+ER. Let it alone.
+
+LA M. This lovely one sends you word ...
+
+ER. What?
+
+LA M. Guess.
+
+ER. Are you aware that I am in no laughing mood?
+
+LA M. Her message is, that you are to remain in this place, that in a
+short time you shall see her here, when she has got rid of some
+country-ladies, who greatly bore all people at court.
+
+ER. Let us, then stay in the place she has selected. But since this
+message affords me some leisure, let me muse a little. (_Exit La
+Montagne_). I propose to write for her some verses to an air which I
+know she likes.
+
+(_He walks up and down the stage in a reverie_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ORANTE, CLIMÈNE, ÉRASTE (_at the side of the stage, unseen_.)
+
+
+OR. Everyone will be of my opinion.
+
+CL. Do you think you will carry your point by obstinacy?
+
+OR. I think my reasons better than yours.
+
+CL. I wish some one could hear both.
+
+OR. I see a gentleman here who is not ignorant; he will be able to judge
+of our dispute. Marquis, a word, I beg of you. Allow us to ask you to
+decide in a quarrel between us two; we had a discussion arising from our
+different opinions, as to what may distinguish the most perfect lovers.
+
+ER. That is a question difficult to settle; you had best look for a more
+skilful judge.
+
+OR. No: you speak to no purpose. Your wit is much commended; and we know
+you. We know that everyone, with justice, gives you the character of a...
+
+ER. Oh, I beseech you ...
+
+OR. In a word, you shall be our umpire, and you must spare us a couple
+of minutes.
+
+CL. (_To Orante_). Now you are retaining one who must condemn you:
+for, to be brief, if what I venture to hold be true, this gentleman will
+give the victory to my arguments.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Would that I could get hold of any rascal to invent
+something to get me off!
+
+OR. (_To Climène_). For my part, I am too much assured of his sense
+to fear that he will decide against me. (_To Éraste_). Well, this
+great contest which rages between us is to know whether a lover should
+be jealous.
+
+CL. Or, the better to explain my opinion and yours, which ought to
+please most, a jealous man or one that is not so?
+
+OR. For my part, I am clearly for the last.
+
+CL. As for me, I stand up for the first.
+
+OR. I believe that our heart must declare for him who best displays
+his respect.
+
+CL. And I that, if our sentiments are to be shewn, it ought to be for
+him who makes his love most apparent.
+
+OR. Yes; but we perceive the ardour of a lover much better through
+respect than through jealousy.
+
+CL. It is my opinion that he who is attached to us, loves us the more
+that he shows himself jealous?
+
+OR. Fie, Climène, do not call lovers those men whose love is like
+hatred, and who, instead of showing their respect and their ardour, give
+themselves no thought save how to become wearisome; whose minds, being
+ever prompted by some gloomy passion, seek to make a crime out of the
+slightest actions, are too blind to believe them innocent, and demand an
+explanation for a glance; who, if we seem a little sad, at once complain
+that their presence is the cause of it, and when the least joy sparkles
+in our eyes, will have their rivals to be at the bottom of it; who, in
+short, assuming a right because they are greatly in love, never speak to
+us save to pick a quarrel, dare to forbid anyone to approach us, and
+become the tyrants of their very conquerors. As for me, I want lovers to
+be respectful; their submission is a sure proof of our sway.
+
+CL. Fie, do not call those men true lovers who are never violent in
+their passion; those lukewarm gallants, whose tranquil hearts already
+think everything quite sure, have no fear of losing us, and
+overweeningly suffer their love to slumber day by day, are on good terms
+with their rivals, and leave a free field for their perseverance. So
+sedate a love incites my anger; to be without jealousy is to love
+coldly. I would that a lover, in order to prove his flame, should have
+his mind shaken by eternal suspicions, and, by sudden outbursts, show
+clearly the value he sets upon her to whose hand he aspires. Then his
+restlessness is applauded; and, if he sometimes treats us a little
+roughly, the pleasure of seeing him, penitent at our feet, to excuse
+himself for the outbreak of which he has been guilty, his tears, his
+despair at having been capable of displeasing us, are a charm to soothe
+all our anger.
+
+OR. If much violence is necessary to please you, I know who would
+satisfy you; I am acquainted with several men in Paris who love well
+enough to beat their fair ones openly.
+
+CL. If to please you, there must never be jealousy, I know several men
+just suited to you; lovers of such enduring mood that they would see you
+in the arms of thirty people without being concerned about it.
+
+OR. And now you must, by your sentence, declare whose love appears to
+you preferable.
+
+(_Orphise appears at the back of the stage, and sees Éraste between
+Orante and Climène_).
+
+ER. Since I cannot avoid giving judgment, I mean to satisfy you both at
+once; and, in order, not to blame that which is pleasing in your eyes,
+the jealous man loves more, but the other loves wisely.
+
+CL. The judgment is very judicious; but...
+
+ER. It is enough. I have finished. After what I have said permit me to
+leave you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--ORPHISE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ER. (_Seeing Orphise, and going to meet her_). How long you have
+been, Madam, and how I suffer ...
+
+ORPH. Nay, nay, do not leave such a pleasant conversation. You are wrong
+to blame me for having arrived too late. (_Pointing to Orante and
+Climène, who have just left_). You had wherewithal to get on without
+me.
+
+ER. Will you be angry with me without reason, and reproach me with what
+I am made to suffer? Oh, I beseech you, stay ...
+
+ORPH. Leave me, I beg, and hasten to rejoin your company.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heaven! must bores of both sexes conspire this day to frustrate my
+dearest wishes? But let me follow her in spite of her resistance, and
+make my innocence clear in her eyes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DORANTE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+DOR. Ah, Marquis, continually we find tedious people interrupting the
+course of our pleasures! You see me enraged on account of a splendid
+hunt, which a booby ... It is a story I must relate to you.
+
+ER. I am looking for some one, and cannot stay.
+
+DOR. (_Retaining him_). Egad, I shall tell it you as we go along.
+We were a well selected company who met yesterday to hunt a stag; on
+purpose we went to sleep on the ground itself--that is, my dear sir, far
+away in the forest. As the chase is my greatest pleasure, I wished, to
+do the thing well, to go to the wood myself; we decided to concentrate
+our efforts upon a stag which every one said was seven years old.
+
+[Footnote: The original expression is _cerf dix-corps_; this,
+according to the _dictionnaire de chasse_, is a seven years' old
+animal.]
+
+But my own opinion was--though I did not stop to observe the marks--that
+it was only a stag of the second year.
+
+[Footnote: The technical term is: "a knobbler;" in French, _un cerf à
+sa seconde tête.]
+
+We had separated, as was necessary, into different parties, and were
+hastily breakfasting on some new-laid eggs, when a regular
+country-gentleman, with a long sword, proudly mounted on his brood-mare,
+which he honoured with the name of his good mare, came up to pay us an
+awkward compliment, presenting to us at the same time, to increase our
+vexation, a great booby of a son, as stupid as his father. He styled
+himself a great sportsman, and begged that he might have the pleasure of
+accompanying us. Heaven preserve every sensible sportsman, when hunting,
+from a fellow who carries a dog's horn, which sounds when it ought not;
+from those gentry who, followed by ten mangy dogs, call them "my pack,"
+and play the part of wonderful hunters. His request granted, and his
+knowledge commended, we all of us started the deer,
+
+[Footnote: The original has _frapper à nos brisées_; _brisées_
+means "blinks." According to Dr. Ash's Dictionary, 1775, "Blinks are the
+boughs or branches thrown in the way of a deer to stop its course."]
+
+within thrice the length of the leash, tally-ho! the dogs were put on
+the track of the stag. I encouraged them, and blew a loud blast. My stag
+emerged from the wood, and crossed a pretty wide plain, the dogs after
+him, but in such good order that you could have covered them all with
+one cloak. He made for the forest. Then we slipped the old pick upon
+him; I quickly brought out my sorrel-horse. You have seen him?
+
+ER. I think not.
+
+DOR. Not seen him? The animal is as good as he is beautiful; I bought
+him some days ago from Gaveau.
+
+[Footnote: A well-known horse-dealer in Molière's time.]
+
+I leave you to think whether that dealer, who has such a respect for me,
+would deceive me in such a matter; I am satisfied with the horse. He
+never indeed sold a better, or a better-shaped one. The head of a barb,
+with a clear star; the neck of a swan, slender, and very straight; no
+more shoulder than a hare; short-jointed, and full of vivacity in his
+motion. Such feet--by Heaven! such feet!--double-haunched: to tell you
+the truth, it was I alone who found the way to break him in. Gaveau's
+Little John never mounted him without trembling, though he did his best
+to look unconcerned. A back that beats any horse's for breadth; and
+legs! O ye Heavens!
+
+[Footnote: Compare the description of the horse given by the Dauphin in
+Shakespeare's Henry V., Act iii., Scene 6, and also that of the "round
+hoof'd, short jointed" jennet in the _Venus and Adonis_ of the same
+author.]
+
+In short, he is a marvel; believe me, I have refused a hundred pistoles
+for him, with one of the horses destined for the King to boot. I then
+mounted, and was in high spirits to see some of the hounds coursing over
+the plain to get the better of the deer. I pressed on, and found myself
+in a by-thicket at the heels of the dogs, with none else but Drecar.
+
+[Footnote: A famous huntsman in Molière's time.]
+
+There for an hour our stag was at bay. Upon this, I cheered on the dogs,
+and made a terrible row. In short, no hunter was ever more delighted! I
+alone started him again; and all was going on swimmingly, when a young
+stag joined ours. Some of my dogs left the others. Marquis, I saw them,
+as you may suppose, follow with hesitation, and Finaut was at a loss.
+But he suddenly turned, which delighted me very much, and drew the dogs
+the right way, whilst I sounded horn and hallooed, "Finaut! Finaut!" I
+again with pleasure discovered the track of the deer by a mole-hill, and
+blew away at my leisure. A few dogs ran back to me, when, as ill-luck
+would have it, the young stag came over to our country bumpkin. My
+blunderer began blowing like mad, and bellowed aloud, "Tallyho! tallyho!
+tallyho!" All my dogs left me, and made for my booby. I hastened there,
+and found the track again on the highroad. But, my dear fellow, I had
+scarcely cast my eyes on the ground, when I discovered it was the other
+animal, and was very much annoyed at it. It was in vain to point out to
+the country fellow the difference between the print of my stag's hoof
+and his. He still maintained, like an ignorant sportsman, that this was
+the pack's stag; and by this disagreement he gave the dogs time to get a
+great way off. I was in a rage, and, heartily cursing the fellow, I
+spurred my horse up hill and down dale, and brushed through boughs as
+thick as my arm. I brought back my dogs to my first scent, who set off,
+to my great joy, in search of our stag, as though he were in full view.
+They started him again; but, did ever such an accident happen? To tell
+you the truth, Marquis, it floored me. Our stag, newly started, passed
+our bumpkin, who, thinking to show what an admirable sportsman he was,
+shot him just in the forehead with a horse-pistol that he had brought
+with him, and cried out to me from a distance, "Ah! I've brought the
+beast down!" Good Heavens! did any one ever hear of pistols in
+stag-hunting? As for me, when I came to the spot, I found the whole
+affair so odd, that I put spurs to my horse in a rage, and returned home
+at a gallop, without saying a single word to that ignorant fool.
+
+ER. You could not have done better; your prudence was admirable. That is
+how we must get rid of bores. Farewell.
+
+DOR. When you like, we will go somewhere where we need not dread
+country-hunters.
+
+ER. (_Alone_). Very well. I think I shall lose patience in the end.
+Let me make all haste, and try to excuse myself.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT II.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Bowlers stop Éraste to measure a distance about which there is a
+dispute. He gets clear of them with difficulty, and leaves them to dance
+a measure, composed of all the postures usual to that game.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Little boys with slings enter and interrupt them, who are in their turn
+driven out by
+
+_Third Entry_.
+
+Cobblers, men and women, their fathers, and others, who are also driven
+out in their turn.
+
+_Fourth Entry_.
+
+A gardener, who dances alone, and then retires.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT III.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. It is true that on the one hand my efforts have succeeded; the
+object of my love is at length appeased. But on the other hand I am
+wearied, and the cruel stars have persecuted my passion with double
+fury. Yes, Damis, her guardian, the worst of bores, is again hostile to
+my tenderest desires, has forbidden me to see his lovely niece, and
+wishes to provide her to-morrow with another husband. Yet Orphise, in
+spite of his refusal, deigns to grant me this evening a favour; I have
+prevailed upon the fair one to suffer me to see her in her own house, in
+private. Love prefers above all secret favours; it finds a pleasure in
+the obstacle which it masters; the slightest conversation with the
+beloved beauty becomes, when it is forbidden, a supreme favour. I am
+going to the rendezvous; it is almost the hour; since I wish to be there
+rather before than after my time.
+
+LA M. Shall I follow you?
+
+ER. No. I fear least you should make me known to certain suspicious persons.
+
+LA M. But ....
+
+ER. I do not desire it.
+
+LA M. I must obey you. But at least, if at a distance....
+
+ER. For the twentieth time will you hold your tongue? And will you never
+give up this practice of perpetually making yourself a troublesome
+servant?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CARITIDÈS; ÉRASTE.
+
+
+CAR. Sir, it is an unseasonable time to do myself the honour of waiting
+upon you; morning would be more fit for performing such a duty, but it
+is not very easy to meet you, for you are always asleep, or in town. At
+least your servants so assure me. I have chosen this opportunity to see
+you. And yet this is a great happiness with which fortune favours me,
+for a couple of moments later I should have missed you.
+
+ER. Sir, do you desire something of me?
+
+CAR. I acquit myself, sir, of what I owe you; and come to you ... Excuse
+the boldness which inspires me, if...
+
+ER. Without so much ceremony, what have you to say to me?
+
+CAR. As the rank, wit, and generosity which every one extols in you...
+
+ER. Yes, I am very much extolled. Never mind that, sir.
+
+CAR. Sir, it is a vast difficulty when a man has to introduce himself;
+we should always be presented to the great by people who commend us in
+words, whose voice, being listened to, delivers with authority what may
+cause our slender merit to be known. In short, I could have wished that
+some persons well-informed could have told you, sir, what I am...
+
+ER. I see sufficiently, sir, what you are. Your manner of accosting me
+makes that clear.
+
+CAR. Yes, I am a man of learning charmed by your worth; not one of those
+learned men whose name ends simply in _us_. Nothing is so common as
+a name with a Latin termination. Those we dress in Greek have a much
+superior look; and in order to have one ending in _ès_, I call
+myself Mr. Caritidès.
+
+ER. Caritidès be it. What have you to say?
+
+CAR. I wish, sir, to read you a petition, which I venture to beg of you
+to present to the King, as your position enables you to do.
+
+ER. Why, sir, you can present it yourself! ...
+
+CAR. It is true that the King grants that supreme favour; but, from the
+very excess of his rare kindness, so many villainous petitions, sir, are
+presented that they choke the good ones; the hope I entertain is that
+mine should be presented when his Majesty is alone.
+
+ER. Well, you can do it, and choose your own time.
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, the door-keepers are such terrible fellows! They treat men
+of learning like snobbs and butts; I can never get beyond the
+guard-room. The ill-treatment I am compelled to suffer would make me
+withdraw from court for ever, if I had not conceived the certain hope
+that you will be my Mecaeænas with the King. Yes, your influence is to
+me a certain means ...
+
+ER. Well, then, give it me; I will present it.
+
+CAR. Here it is. But at least, hear it read.
+
+ER. No ...
+
+CAR. That you may be acquainted with it, sir, I beg.
+
+"TO THE KING.
+
+"_Sire,--Your most humble, most obedient, most faithful and most
+learned subject and servant, Caritidès, a Frenchman by birth, a
+Greek_
+
+[Footnote: The original has _Grec_, a Greek. Can Caritidès have
+wished to allude to the _græaca fides_? _Grec_ means also a
+cheat at cards, and is said to owe its name to a certain Apoulos, a
+knight of Greek origin, who was caught in the very act of cheating at
+play in the latter days of Louis XIV.'s reign, even in the palace of the
+_grand monarque_.]
+
+_by profession, having considered the great and notable abuses which
+are perpetrated in the inscriptions on the signs of houses, shops,
+taverns, bowling-alleys, and other places in your good city of Paris;
+inasmuch as certain ignorant composers of the said inscriptions subvert,
+by a barbarous, pernicious and hateful spelling, every kind of sense and
+reason, without any regard for etymology, analogy, energy or allegory
+whatsoever, to the great scandal of the republic of letters, and of the
+French nation, which is degraded and dishonoured, by the said abuses and
+gross faults, in the eyes of strangers, and notably of the Germans,
+curious readers and inspectors of the said inscriptions..."
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion either to the reputation of the Germans
+as great drinkers, or as learned decipherers of all kinds of
+inscriptions.]
+
+ER. This petition is very long, and may very likely weary...
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, not a word could be cut out.
+
+ER. Finish quickly.
+
+CAR. (Continuing). "_Humbly petitions your Majesty to constitute, for
+the good of his state and the glory of his realm, an office of
+controller, supervisor, corrector, reviser and restorer in general of
+the said inscriptions; and with this office to honour your suppliant, as
+well in consideration of his rare and eminent erudition, as of the great
+and signal services which he has rendered to the state and to your
+Majesty, by making the anagram of your said Majesty in French, Latin,
+Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldean, Arabic_..."
+
+ER. (_Interrupting him_). Very good. Give it me quickly and retire:
+it shall be seen by the King; the thing is as good as done.
+
+CAR. Alas! sir, to show my petition is everything. If the King but see
+it, I am sure of my point; for as his justice is great in all things, he
+will never be able to refuse my prayer. For the rest, to raise your fame
+to the skies, give me your name and surname in writing, and I will make
+a poem, in which the first letters of your name shall appear at both
+ends of the lines, and in each half measure.
+
+ER. Yes, you shall have it to-morrow, Mr. Caritidès. (_Alone_).
+Upon my word, such learned men are perfect asses. Another time I should
+have heartily laughed at his folly.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ORMIN, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ORM. Though a matter of great consequence brings me here, I wished that
+man to leave before speaking to you.
+
+ER. Very well. But make haste; for I wish to be gone.
+
+ORM. I almost fancy that the man who has just left you has vastly
+annoyed you, sir, by his visit. He is a troublesome old man whose mind
+is not quite right, and for whom I have always some excuse ready to get
+rid of him. On the Mall, in the Luxembourg,
+
+[Footnote: The Mall was a promenade in Paris, shaded by trees, near the
+Arsenal.]
+
+[Footnote: The Luxembourg was in Molière's time the most fashionable
+promenade of Paris.]
+
+and in the Tuileries he wearies people with his fancies; men like you
+should avoid the conversation of all those good-for-nothing pedants.
+For my part I have no fear of troubling you, since I am come, sir, to
+make your fortune.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). This is some alchymist: one of those creatures who
+have nothing, and are always promising you ever so much riches.
+(_Aloud_). Have you discovered that blessed stone, sir, which alone
+can enrich all the kings of the earth?
+
+ORM. Aha! what a funny idea! Heaven forbid, sir, that I should be one of
+those fools. I do not foster idle dreams; I bring you here sound words
+of advice which I would communicate, through you, to the King, and which
+I always carry about me, sealed up. None of those silly plans and vain
+chimeras which are dinned in the ears of our superintendents;
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion to the giver of the feast, Mons. Fouquet,
+_surintendant des finances_. See also page 299, note I.]
+
+none of your beggarly schemes which rise to no more than twenty or
+thirty millions; but one which, at the lowest reckoning, will give the
+King a round four hundred millions yearly, with ease, without risk or
+suspicion, without oppressing the nation in any way. In short, it is a
+scheme for an inconceivable profit, which will be found feasible at the
+first explanation. Yes, if only through you I can be encouraged ...
+
+ER. Well, we will talk of it. I am rather in a hurry.
+
+ORM. If you will promise to keep it secret, I will unfold to you this
+important scheme.
+
+ER. No, no; I do not wish to know your secret.
+
+ORM. Sir, I believe you are too discreet to divulge it, and I wish to
+communicate it to you frankly, in two words. I must see that none can
+hear us. (_After seeing that no one is listening, he approaches
+Eraste's ear_). This marvellous plan, of which I am the inventor, is...
+
+ER. A little farther off, sir, for a certain reason.
+
+ORM. You know, without any need of my telling you, the great profit
+which the King yearly receives from his seaports. Well, the plan of
+which no one has yet thought, and which is an easy matter, is to make
+all the coasts of France into famous ports. This would amount to vast
+sums; and if ...
+
+ER. The scheme is good, and will greatly please the King. Farewell. We
+shall see each other again.
+
+ORM. At all events assist me, for you are the first to whom I have
+spoken of it.
+
+ER. Yes, yes.
+
+ORM. If you would lend me a couple of pistoles, you could repay yourself
+out of the profits of the scheme ....
+
+ER. (_Gives money to Ormin_). Gladly. (_Alone_). Would to
+Heaven, that at such a price I could get rid of all who trouble me! How
+ill-timed their visit is! At last I think I may go. Will any one else
+come to detain me?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--FILINTE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+FIL. Marquis, I have just heard strange tidings.
+
+ER. What?
+
+FIL. That some one has just now quarrelled with you.
+
+ER. With me?
+
+FIL. What is the use of dissimulation? I know on good authority that you
+have been called out; and, as your friend, I come, at all events, to
+offer you my services against all mankind.
+
+ER. I am obliged to you; but believe me you do me....
+
+FIL. You will not admit it; but you are going out without attendants.
+Stay in town, or go into the country, you shall go nowhere without my
+accompanying you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Oh, I shall go mad.
+
+FIL. Where is the use of hiding from me?
+
+ER. I swear to you, Marquis, that you have been deceived.
+
+FIL. It is no use denying it.
+
+ER. May Heaven smite me, if any dispute....
+
+FIL. Do you think I believe you?
+
+ER. Good Heaven, I tell you without concealment that....
+
+FIL. Do not think me such a dupe and simpleton.
+
+ER. Will you oblige me?
+
+FIL. No.
+
+ER. Leave me, I pray.
+
+FIL. Nothing of the sort, Marquis.
+
+ER. An assignation to-night at a certain place....
+
+FIL. I do not quit you. Wherever it be, I mean to follow you.
+
+ER. On my soul, since you mean me to have a quarrel, I agree to it, to
+satisfy your zeal. I shall be with you, who put me in a rage, and of
+whom I cannot get rid by fair means.
+
+FIL. That is a sorry way of receiving the service of a friend. But as I
+do you so ill an office, farewell. Finish what you have on hand without
+me.
+
+ER. You will be my friend when you leave me. (_Alone_). But see
+what misfortunes happen to me! They will have made me miss the hour
+appointed.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--DAMIS, L'ÉPINE, ÉRASTE, LA RIVIÈRE, _and his Companions_.
+
+
+DAM. (_Aside_). What! the rascal hopes to obtain her in spite of
+me! Ah! my just wrath shall know how to prevent him!
+
+ER. (_Aside_). I see some one there at Orphise's door. What! must
+there always be some obstacle to the passion she sanctions!
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). Yes, I have discovered that my niece, in spite
+of my care, is to receive Éraste in her room to-night, alone.
+
+LA R. (_To his companions_). What do I hear those people saying of
+our master? Let us approach safely, without betraying ourselves.
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). But before he has a chance of accomplishing
+his design, we must pierce his treacherous heart with a thousand blows.
+Go and fetch those whom I mentioned just now, and place them in ambush
+where I told you, so that at the name of Éraste they may be ready to
+avenge my honour, which his passion has the presumption to outrage; to
+break off the assignation which brings him here, and quench his guilty
+flame in his blood.
+
+LA R. (_Attacking Damis with his companions_). Before your fury can
+destroy him, wretch! you shall have to deal with us!
+
+ER. Though he would have killed me, honour urges me here to rescue the
+uncle of my mistress. (_To Damis_). I am on your side, Sir. (_He
+draws his sword and attacks La Rivière and his companions, whom he puts
+to flight_.)
+
+DAM. Heavens! By whose aid do I find myself saved from a certain death?
+To whom am I indebted for so rare a service?
+
+ER. (_Returning_). In serving you, I have done but an act of
+justice.
+
+DAM. Heavens. Can I believe my ears! Is this the hand of Éraste?
+
+ER. Yes, yes, Sir, it is I. Too happy that my hand has rescued you: too
+unhappy in having deserved your hatred.
+
+DAM. What! Éraste, whom I was resolved to have assassinated has just
+used his sword to defend me! Oh, this is too much; my heart is compelled
+to yield; whatever your love may have meditated to-night, this
+remarkable display of generosity ought to stifle all animosity. I blush
+for my crime, and blame my prejudice. My hatred has too long done you
+injustice! To show you openly I no longer entertain it, I unite you this
+very night to your love.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ORPHISE, DAMIS, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ORPH. (_Entering with a silver candlestick in her hand_). Sir, what
+has happened that such a terrible disturbance....
+
+DAM. Niece, nothing but what is very agreeable, since, after having
+blamed, for a long time, your love for Éraste, I now give him to you for
+a husband. His arm has warded off the deadly thrust aimed at me; I
+desire that your hand reward him.
+
+ORPH. I owe everything to you; if, therefore, it is to pay him your
+debt. I consent, as he has saved your life.
+
+ER. My heart is so overwhelmed by this great miracle, that amidst this
+ecstasy, I doubt if I am awake.
+
+DAM. Let us celebrate the happy lot that awaits you; and let our violins
+put us in a joyful mood. (_As the violins strike up, there is a knock
+at the door_).
+
+ER. Who knocks so loud?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DAMIS, ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, L'ÉPINE.
+
+
+L'EP. Sir, here are masks, with kits and tabors.
+
+(_The masks enter, filling the stage_).
+
+ER. What! Bores for ever? Hulloa, guards, here. Turn out these rascals
+for me.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT III.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Swiss guards, with halberds, drive out all the troublesome masks, and
+then retire to make room for a dance of
+
+[Footnote: The origin of the introduction of the Swiss Guards
+(mercenaries) in the service of the French and other foreign powers may
+be ascribed to the fact that Switzerland itself, being too poor to
+maintain soldiers in time of peace, allowed them to serve other nations
+on condition of coming back immediately to their own cantons in time of
+war or invasion.
+
+It is particularly with France that Switzerland contracted treaties to
+furnish certain contingents in case of need. The first of these dates
+back as far as 1444 between the Dauphin, afterwards Charles VII., and
+the different cantons. This Act was renewed in 1453, and the number of
+soldiers to be furnished was fixed once for all, the minimum being
+6,000, and the maximum 16,000. The Helvetians, who until 1515 had always
+been faithful to their engagements, turned traitors in that year against
+Francis I., who defeated them at Marignan. But the good feeling was soon
+afterwards re-established, and a new treaty, almost similar to the
+former, restored the harmony between the two nations.
+
+Another document is extant, signed at Baden in 1553, by which the
+cantons bind themselves to furnish Henry II. with as many troops as he
+may want. It is particularly remarkable, inasmuch as it served as a
+basis for all subsequent ones until 1671. These conventions have not
+always been faithfully carried out, for the Swiss contracted engagements
+with other nations, notably with Spain, Naples, and Sardinia, and even
+with Portugal. At the commencement of the campaign of 1697, Louis XIV.
+had, notwithstanding all this, as many as 32,000 Swiss in his service,
+the highest number ever attained. The regulations for the foreign
+colonels and captains in their relations among themselves, and with the
+French Government, were not unlike those in force at present for the
+native soldiery in our Indian possessions. Towards the end of Louis
+XIV.'s reign the number decreased to 14,400, officers included; it rose
+in 1773 to 19,836, and during the wars of 1742-48. to 21,300. The ebb
+and flow of their numbers continued from that time until the Revolution
+of 1830, when they were finally abolished.
+
+They received a much higher pay than the national troops, and had
+besides this many other advantages, one of them being that the officers
+had in the army the next grade higher than that which they occupied in
+their own regiments; for instance, the colonel of a Swiss regiment had
+the rank of a major-general, and retired on the pay of a
+lieutenant-general, &c. They enjoyed the same privileges, with some
+slight modifications, wherever they served elsewhere.]
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Four shepherds and a shepherdess, who, in the opinion of all who saw it,
+concluded the entertainment with much grace.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Bores
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Posting Date: April 17, 2013 [EBook #6680]
+Release Date: October, 2004
+First Posted: January 12, 2003
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BORES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+LES FACHEUX.
+
+COMEDIE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BORES.
+
+A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+AUGUST 17TH, 1661.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+_The Bores_ is a character-comedy; but the peculiarities taken as
+the text of the play, instead of being confined to one or two of the
+leading personages, are exhibited in different forms by a succession of
+characters, introduced one after the other in rapid course, and
+disappearing after the brief performance of their roles. We do not find
+an evolution of natural situations, proceeding from the harmonious
+conduct of two or three individuals, but rather a disjointed series of
+tableaux--little more than a collection of monologues strung together on
+a weak thread of explanatory comments, enunciated by an unwilling
+listener.
+
+The method is less artistic, if not less natural; less productive of
+situations, if capable of greater variety of illustrations. The
+circumstances under which Moliere undertook to compose the play explain
+his resort to the weaker manner of analysis. The Superintendent-General
+of finance, [Footnote: In Sir James Stephen's _Lectures on the History
+of France_, vol. ii. page 22, I find: "Still further to centralize
+the fiscal economy of France, Philippe le Bel created a new ministry. At
+the head of it he placed an officer of high rank, entitled the
+Superintendent-General of Finance, and, in subordination to him, he
+appointed other officers designated as Treasurers."] Nicolas Fouquet
+desiring to entertain the King, Queen, and court at his mansion of
+Vaux-le-Vicomte, asked for a comedy at the hands of the Palais-Royal
+company, who had discovered the secret of pleasing the Grand Monarque.
+Moliere had but a fortnight's notice; and he was expected, moreover, to
+accommodate his muse to various prescribed styles of entertainment.
+
+Fouquet wanted a cue for a dance by Beauchamp, for a picture by Lebrun,
+for stage devices by Torelli. Moliere was equal to the emergency. Never,
+perhaps, was a literary work written to order so worthy of being
+preserved for future generations. Not only were the intermediate ballets
+made sufficiently elastic to give scope for the ingenuity of the poet's
+auxiliaries, but the written scenes themselves were admirably contrived
+to display all the varied talent of his troupe.
+
+The success of the piece on its first representation, which took place
+on the 17th of August, 1661, was unequivocal; and the King summoned the
+author before him in order personally to express his satisfaction. It is
+related that, the Marquis de Soyecourt passing by at the time, the King
+said to Moliere, "There is an original character which you have not yet
+copied." The suggestion was enough. The result was that, at the next
+representation, Dorante the hunter, a new bore, took his place in the
+comedy.
+
+Louis XIV. thought he had discovered in Moliere a convenient mouthpiece
+for his dislikes. The selfish king was no lover of the nobility, and was
+short-sighted enough not to perceive that the author's attacks on the
+nobles paved the way for doubts on the divine right of kings themselves.
+Hence he protected Moliere, and entrusted to him the care of writing
+plays for his entertainments; the public did not, however, see _The
+Bores_ until the 4th of November of the same year; and then it met
+with great success.
+
+The bore is ubiquitous, on the stage as in everyday life. Horace painted
+him in his famous passage commencing _Ibam forte via Sacra_, and the
+French satirist, Regnier, has depicted him in his eighth satire.
+
+Moliere had no doubt seen the Italian farce, "_Le Case svaliggiate
+ovvera gli Interrompimenti di Pantalone_," which appears to have
+directly provided him with the thread of his comedy. This is the gist of
+it. A girl, courted by Pantaloon, gives him a rendezvous in order to
+escape from his importunities; whilst a cunning knave sends across his
+path a medley of persons to delay his approach, and cause him to break
+his appointment. This delay, however, is about the only point of
+resemblance between the Italian play and the French comedy.
+
+There are some passages in Scarron's _Epitres chagrines_ addressed
+to the Marshal d'Albret and M. d'Elbene, from which our author must have
+derived a certain amount of inspiration; for in these epistles the
+writer reviews the whole tribe of bores, in coarse but vigorous
+language.
+
+Moliere dedicated _The Bores_ to Louis XIV. in the following words:
+
+
+SIRE,
+
+I am adding one scene to the Comedy, and a man who dedicates a book is a
+species of Bore insupportable enough. Your Majesty is better acquainted
+with this than any person in the kingdom: and this is not the first time
+that you have been exposed to the fury of Epistles Dedicatory. But
+though I follow the example of others, and put myself in the rank of
+those I have ridiculed; I dare, however, assure Your Majesty, that what
+I have done in this case is not so much to present You a book, as to
+have the opportunity of returning You thanks for the success of this
+Comedy. I owe, Sire, that success, which exceeded my expectations, not
+only to the glorious approbation with which Your Majesty honoured this
+piece at first, and which attracted so powerfully that of all the world;
+but also to the order, which You gave me, to add a _Bore_, of which
+Yourself had the goodness to give me the idea, and which was proved by
+everyone to be the finest part of the work. [Footnote: See Prefatory
+Memoir, page xxviii. ?] I must confess, Sire, I never did any thing with
+such ease and readiness, as that part, where I had Your Majesty's
+commands to work.
+
+The pleasure I had in obeying them, was to me more than _Apollo_
+and all the _Muses_; and by this I conceive what I should be able
+to execute in a complete Comedy, were I inspired by the same commands.
+Those who are born in an elevated rank, may propose to themselves the
+honour of serving Your Majesty in great Employments; but, for my part,
+all the glory I can aspire to, is to amuse You. [Footnote: In spite of
+all that has been said about Moliere's passionate fondness for his
+profession, I imagine he must now and then have felt some slight, or
+suffered from some want of consideration. Hence perhaps the above
+sentence. Compare with this Shakespeare's hundred and eleventh sonnet:
+
+  "Oh! for my sake, do you with Fortune chide
+  The guilty goddess of my harmful deeds,
+  That did not better for my life provide
+  Than public means which public manners breeds.
+  Thence comes it that my name receives a brand;
+  And almost thence my nature is subdu'd
+  To what it works in, like the dyer's hand."]
+
+
+The ambition of my wishes is confined to this; and I think that, to
+contribute any thing to the diversion of her King, is, in some respects,
+not to be useless to France. Should I not succeed in this, it shall
+never be through want of zeal, or study; but only through a hapless
+destiny, which often accompanies the best intentions, and which, to a
+certainty, would be a most sensible affliction to SIRE, _Your_
+MAJESTY'S _most humble, most obedient, and most faithful Servant_,
+
+MOLIERE.
+
+
+In the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Moliere, London,
+1732," the play of _The Bores_ is dedicated, under the name of
+_The Impertinents_, to the Right Honourable the Lord Carteret,
+[Footnote: John, Lord Carteret, born 22nd April, 1690, twice
+Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, was Secretary of State and head of the
+Ministry from February, 1742, until November 23, 1744, became Earl
+Granville that same year, on the death of his mother; was president of
+the Council in 1751, and died in 1763.] in the following words:
+
+
+MY LORD,
+
+It is by Custom grown into a sort of Privilege for Writers, of
+whatsoever Class, to attack Persons of Rank and Merit by these kind of
+Addresses. We conceive a certain Charm in Great and Favourite Names,
+which sooths our Reader, and prepossesses him in our Favour: We deem
+ourselves of Consequence, according to the Distinction of our Patron;
+and come in for our Share in the Reputation he bears in the World. Hence
+it is, MY LORD, that Persons of the greatest Worth are most expos'd to
+these Insults.
+
+For however usual and convenient this may be to a Writer, it must be
+confess'd, MY LORD, it may be some degree of Persecution to a
+_Patron_; Dedicators, as _Moliere_ observes, being a Species
+of _Impertinents_, troublesome enough. Yet the Translator of this
+Piece hopes he may be rank'd among the more tolerable ones, in presuming
+to inscribe to Your LORDSHIP the _Facheux of Moliere_ done into
+_English_; assuring himself that Your LORDSHIP will not think any
+thing this Author has writ unworthy of your Patronage; nor discourage
+even a weaker Attempt to make him more generally read and understood.
+
+Your LORDSHIP is well known, as an absolute Master, and generous Patron
+of Polite Letters; of those Works especially which discover a Moral, as
+well as Genius; and by a delicate Raillery laugh men out of their
+Follies and Vices: could the Translator, therefore, of this Piece come
+anything near the Original, it were assured of your Acceptance. He will
+not dare to arrogate any thing to himself on this Head, before so good a
+Judge as Your LORDSHIP: He hopes, however, it will appear that, where
+he seems too superstitious a Follower of his Author, 'twas not because
+he could not have taken more Latitude, and have given more Spirit; but
+to answer what he thinks the most essential part of a Translator, to
+lead the less knowing to the Letter; and after better Acquaintance,
+Genius will bring them to the Spirit.
+
+The Translator knows your LORDSHIP, and Himself too well to attempt Your
+Character, even though he should think this a proper occasion: The
+Scholar--the Genius--the Statesman--the Patriot--the Man of Honour and
+Humanity.--Were a Piece finish'd from these Out-lines, the whole World
+would agree in giving it Your LORDSHIP.
+
+But that requires a Hand--the Person, who presents This, thinks it
+sufficient to be indulg'd the Honour of subscribing himself
+
+_My_ LORD, _Your Lordship's most devoted, most obedient, humble
+servant,_
+
+THE TRANSLATOR.
+
+
+Thomas Shadwell, whom Dryden flagellates in his _Mac-Flecknoe_, and
+in the second part of _Absalom and Achitophel_, and whom Pope
+mentions in his _Dunciad_, wrote _The Sullen Lovers, or the
+Impertinents_, which was first performed in 1668 at the Duke of
+York's Theatre, by their Majesties' Servants.
+
+This play is a working up of _The Bores_ and _The
+Misanthrope_, with two scenes from _The Forced Marriage_, and a
+reminiscence from _The Love-Tiff_. It is dedicated to the "Thrice
+Noble, High and Puissant Prince William, Duke, Marquis, and Earl of
+Newcastle," because all Men, who pretend either to Sword or Pen, ought
+"to shelter themselves under Your Grace's Protection." Another reason
+Shadwell gives for this dedication is in order "to rescue this (play)
+from the bloody Hands of the Criticks, who will not dare to use it
+roughly, when they see Your Grace's Name in the beginning." He also
+states, that "the first Hint I received was from the Report of a Play of
+Moliere's of three Acts, called _Les Fascheux_, upon which I wrote
+a great part of this before I read that." He borrowed, after reading it,
+the first scene in the second act, and Moliere's story of Piquet, which
+he translated into Backgammon, and says, "that he who makes a common
+practice of stealing other men's wit, would if he could with the same
+safety, steal anything else." Shadwell mentions, however, nothing of
+borrowing from _The Misanthrope_ and _The Forced Marriage_.
+The preface was, besides political difference, the chief cause of the
+quarrel between Shadwell and Dryden; for in it the former defends Ben
+Jonson against the latter, and mentions that--"I have known some of late
+so insolent to say that Ben Jonson wrote his best playes without wit,
+imagining that all the wit playes consisted in bringing two persons upon
+the stage to break jest, and to bob one another, which they call
+repartie." The original edition of _The Sullen Lovers_ is partly in
+blank verse; but, in the first collected edition of Shadwell's works,
+published by his son in 1720, it is printed in prose. Stanford, "a
+morose, melancholy man, tormented beyond measure with the impertinence
+of people, and resolved to leave the world to be quit of them" is a
+combination of Alceste in _The Misanthrope_, and Eraste in _The
+Bores_; Lovel, "an airy young gentleman, friend to Stanford, one that
+is pleased with, and laughs at, the impertinents; and that which is the
+other's torment, is his recreation," is Philinte of _The
+Misanthrope_; Emilia and Carolina appear to be Celimene and Eliante;
+whilst Lady Vaine is an exaggerated Arsinoe of the same play. Sir
+Positive At-all, "a foolish knight that pretends to understand
+everything in the world, and will suffer no man to understand anything
+in his Company, so foolishly positive, that he will never be convinced
+of an error, though never so gross," is a very good character, and an
+epitome of all the Bores into one.
+
+The prologue of _The Sullen Lovers_ begins thus:--
+
+  "How popular are Poets now-a-days!
+  Who can more Men at their first summons raise,
+  Than many a wealthy home-bred Gentleman,
+  By all his Interest in his Country can.
+  They raise their Friends; but in one Day arise
+  'Gainst one poor Poet all these Enemies."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+Never was any Dramatic performance so hurried as this; and it is a
+thing, I believe, quite new, to have a comedy planned, finished, got up,
+and played in a fortnight. I do not say this to boast of an
+_impromptu_, or to pretend to any reputation on that account: but
+only to prevent certain people, who might object that I have not
+introduced here all the species of Bores who are to be found. I know
+that the number of them is great, both at the Court and in the City, and
+that, without episodes, I might have composed a comedy of five acts and
+still have had matter to spare. But in the little time allowed me, it
+was impossible to execute any great design, or to study much the choice
+of my characters, or the disposition of my subject. I therefore confined
+myself to touching only upon a small number of Bores; and I took those
+which first presented themselves to my mind, and which I thought the
+best fitted for amusing the august personages before whom this play was
+to appear; and, to unite all these things together speedily, I made use
+of the first plot I could find. It is not, at present, my intention to
+examine whether the whole might not have been better, and whether all
+those who were diverted with it laughed according to rule. The time may
+come when I may print my remarks upon the pieces I have written: and I
+do not despair letting the world see that, like a grand author, I can
+quote Aristotle and Horace. In expectation of this examination, which
+perhaps may never take place, I leave the decision of this affair to the
+multitude, and I look upon it as equally difficult to oppose a work
+which the public approves, as it is to defend one which it condemns.
+
+There is no one who does not know for what time of rejoicing the piece
+was composed; and that _fete_ made so much noise, that it is not
+necessary to speak of it [Footnote: _The Bores_, according to the
+Preface, planned, finished, got up, and played in a fortnight, was acted
+amidst other festivities, first at Vaux, the seat of Monsieur Fouquet,
+Superintendent of Finances, the 17th of August, 1661, in the presence of
+the King and the whole Court, with the exception of the Queen. Three
+weeks later Fouquet was arrested, and finally condemned to be shut up in
+prison, where he died in 1672. It was not till November, 1661, that
+_The Bores_ was played in Paris.] but it will not be amiss to say a
+word or two of the ornaments which have been mixed with the Comedy.
+
+The design was also to give a ballet; and as there was only a small
+number of first-rate dancers, it was necessary to separate the
+_entrees_ [Footnote: See Prefatory Memoir, page xxx., note 12] of
+this ballet, and to interpolate them with the Acts of the Play, so that
+these intervals might give time to the same dancers to appear in
+different dresses; also to avoid breaking the thread of the piece by
+these interludes, it was deemed advisable to weave the ballet in the
+best manner one could into the subject, and make but one thing of it and
+the play. But as the time was exceedingly short, and the whole was not
+entirely regulated by the same person, there may be found, perhaps, some
+parts of the ballet which do not enter so naturally into the play as
+others do. Be that as it may, this is a medley new upon our stage;
+although one might find some authorities in antiquity: but as every one
+thought it agreeable, it may serve as a specimen for other things which
+may be concerted more at leisure.
+
+Immediately upon the curtain rising, one of the actors, whom you may
+suppose to be myself, appeared on the stage in an ordinary dress, and
+addressing himself to the King, with the look of a man surprised, made
+excuses in great disorder, for being there alone, and wanting both time
+and actors to give his Majesty the diversion he seemed to expect; at the
+same time in the midst of twenty natural cascades, a large shell was
+disclosed, which every one saw: and the agreeable Naiad who appeared in
+it, advanced to the front of the stage, and with an heroic air
+pronounced the following verses which Mr. Pellison had made, and which
+served as a Prologue.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+(_The Theatre represents a garden adorned with Termini and several
+fountains. A Naiad coming out of the water in a shell.)
+
+  Mortals, from Grots profound I visit you,
+  Gallia's great Monarch in these Scenes to view;
+  Shall Earth's wide Circuit, or the wider Seas,
+  Produce some Novel Sight your Prince to please;
+  Speak He, or wish: to him nought can be hard,
+  Whom as a living Miracle you all regard.
+  Fertile in Miracles, his Reign demands
+  Wonders at universal Nature's Hands,
+  Sage, young, victorious, valiant, and august,
+  Mild as severe, and powerful as he's just,
+  His Passions, and his Foes alike to foil,
+  And noblest Pleasures join to noblest Toil;
+  His righteous Projects ne'er to misapply,
+  Hear and see all, and act incessantly:
+  He who can this, can all; he needs but dare,
+  And Heaven in nothing will refuse his Prayer.
+  Let Lewis but command, these Bounds shall move,
+  And trees grow vocal as Dodona's Grove.
+  Ye Nymphs and Demi-Gods, whose Presence fills
+  Their sacred Trunks, come forth; so Lewis wills;
+  To please him be our task; I lead the way,
+  Quit now your ancient Forms but for a Day,
+  With borrow'd Shape cheat the Spectator's Eye,
+  And to Theatric Art yourselves apply.
+
+(_Several Dryads, accompanied by Fawns and Satyrs, come forth out of
+the Trees and Termini_.)
+
+  Hence Royal Cares, hence anxious Application,
+  (His fav'rite Work) to bless a happy Nation:
+  His lofty Mind permit him to unbend,
+  And to a short Diversion condescend;
+  The Morn shall see him with redoubled Force,
+  Resume the Burthen and pursue his Course,
+  Give Force to Laws, his Royal Bounties share,
+  Wisely prevent our Wishes with his Care.
+  Contending Lands to Union firm dispose,
+  And lose his own to fix the World's Repose.
+  But now, let all conspire to ease the Pressure
+  Of Royalty, by elegance of Pleasure.
+  Impertinents, avant; nor come in sight,
+  Unless to give him more supreme Delight.
+
+
+[Footnote: The Naiad was represented by Madeleine Beejart, even then
+good-looking, though she was more than forty years old. The verses are
+taken from the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Moliere in
+French and English, London, 1732," and as fulsome as they well can be.
+The English translation, which is not mine, fairly represents the
+official nonsense of the original.]
+
+(_The Naiad brings with her, for the Play, one part of the Persons she
+has summoned to appear, whilst the rest begin a Dance to the sound of
+Hautboys, accompanied by Violins_.)
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE.
+
+
+ERASTE, _in love with Orphise_.
+
+DAMIS, _guardian to Orphise_.
+
+ALCIDOR, _a bore_.
+
+LISANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCIPPE, _a bore_.
+
+DORANTE, _a bore_.
+
+CARITIDES, _a bore_.
+
+ORMIN, _a bore_.
+
+FILINTE, _a bore_.
+
+LA MONTAGNE, _servant to Eraste_.
+
+L'EPINE, _servant to Damis_.
+
+LA RIVIERE _and_ TWO COMRADES.
+
+ORPHISE, _in love with Eraste_.
+
+ORANTE, _a female bore_.
+
+CLIMENE, _a female bore_.
+
+_Scene_.--PARIS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Footnote: Moliere himself played probably the parts of Lisandre the
+dancer, Alcandre the duellist, or Alcippe the gambler, and perhaps all
+three, with some slight changes in the dress. He also acted Caritides
+the pedant, and Dorante the lover of the chase. In the inventory taken
+after Moliere's death we find: "A dress for the Marquis of the
+_Facheux_, consisting in a pair of breeches very large, and
+fastened below with ribbands, (_rhingrave_), made of common silk,
+blue and gold-coloured stripes, with plenty of flesh-coloured and yellow
+trimmings, with Colbertine, a doublet of Colbertine cloth trimmed with
+flame-coloured ribbands, silk stockings and garters." The dress of
+Caritides in the same play, "cloak and breeches of cloth, with picked
+trimmings, and a slashed doublet." Dorante's dress was probably "a
+hunting-coat, sword and belt; the above-mentioned hunting-coat
+ornamented with fine silver lace, also a pair of stag-hunting gloves,
+and a pair of long stockings (_bas a botter_) of yellow cloth." The
+original inventory, given by M. Soulie, has _toile Colbertine_, for
+"Colbertine cloth." I found this word in Webster's Dictionary described
+from _The Fop's Dictionary of 1690_ as "A lace resembling net-work,
+the fabric of Mons. Colbert, superintendent of the French king's
+manufactures." In Congreve's _The Way of the World_, Lady Wishfort,
+quarrelling with her woman Foible (Act v., Scene i), says to her, among
+other insults: "Go, hang out an old Frisoneer gorget, with a yard of
+yellow colberteen again!"]
+
+
+
+
+THE BORES (_LES FACHEUX._)
+
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Good Heavens! under what star am I born, to be perpetually worried
+by bores? It seems that fate throws them in my way everywhere; each day
+I discover some new specimen. But there is nothing to equal my bore of
+to-day. I thought I should never get rid of him; a hundred times I
+cursed the harmless desire, which seized me at dinner time, to see the
+play, where, thinking to amuse myself, I unhappily was sorely punished
+for my sins. I must tell you how it happened, for I cannot yet think
+about it coolly. I was on the stage,
+
+[Footnote: It was the custom for young men of fashion to seat themselves
+upon the stage (see Vol. I.. Prefatory Memoir, page 26, note 7). They
+often crowded it to such an extent, that it was difficult for the actors
+to move. This custom was abolished only in 1759, when the Count de
+Lauraguais paid the comedians a considerable sum of money, on the
+condition of not allowing any stranger upon the stage.]
+
+in a mood to listen to the piece which I had heard praised by so many.
+The actors began; everyone kept silence; when with a good deal of noise
+and in a ridiculous manner, a man with large rolls entered abruptly,
+crying out "Hulloa, there, a seat directly!" and, disturbing the
+audience with his uproar, interrupted the play in its finest passage.
+Heavens! will Frenchmen, altho' so often corrected, never behave
+themselves like men of common-sense? Must we, in a public theatre, show
+ourselves with our worst faults, and so confirm, by our foolish
+outbursts what our neighbours everywhere say of us? Thus I spoke; and
+whilst I was shrugging my shoulders, the actors attempted to continue
+their parts. But the man made a fresh disturbance in seating himself,
+and again crossing the stage with long strides, although he might have
+been quite comfortable at the wings, he planted his chair full in front,
+and, defying the audience by his broad back, hid the actors from
+three-fourths of the pit. A murmur arose, at which anyone else would
+have felt ashamed; but he, firm and resolute, took no notice of it, and
+would have remained just as he had placed himself, if, to my misfortune,
+he had not cast his eyes on me. "Ah, Marquis!" he said, taking a seat
+near me, "how dost thou do? Let me embrace thee." Immediately my face
+was covered with blushes that people should see I was acquainted with
+such a giddy fellow. I was but slightly known to him for all that: but
+so it is with these men, who assume an acquaintance on nothing, whose
+embraces we are obliged to endure when we meet them, and who are so
+familiar with us as to thou and thee us. He began by asking me a hundred
+frivolous questions, raising his voice higher than the actors.
+Everyone was cursing him; and in order to check him I said, "I should
+like to listen to the play." "Hast thou not seen it, Marquis? Oh, on my
+soul, I think it very funny, and I am no fool in these matters. I know
+the canons of perfection, and Corneille reads to me all that he writes."
+Thereupon he gave me a summary of the piece, informing me scene after
+scene of what was about to happen; and when we came to any lines which
+he knew by heart, he recited them aloud before the actor could say them.
+It was in vain for me to resist; he continued his recitations, and
+towards the end rose a good while before the rest. For these fashionable
+fellows, in order to behave gallantly, especially avoid listening to the
+conclusion. I thanked Heaven, and naturally thought that, with the
+comedy, my misery was ended. But as though this were too good to be
+expected, my gentleman fastened on me again, recounted his exploits, his
+uncommon virtues, spoke of his horses, of his love-affairs, of his
+influence at court, and heartily offered me his services. I politely
+bowed my thanks, all the time devising some way of escape. But he,
+seeing me eager to depart, said, "Let us leave; everyone is gone." And
+when we were outside, he prevented my going away, by saying, "Marquis,
+let us go to the Cours to show my carriage."
+
+[Footnote: The Cours is that part of the Champs-Elysees called _le
+Cours-la-Reine_; because Maria de Medici, the wife of Henry IV., had
+trees planted there. As the theatre finished about seven o'clock in the
+evening, it was not too late to show a carriage.]
+
+"It is very well built, and more than one Duke and Peer has ordered a
+similar one from my coach-maker." I thanked him, and the better to get
+off, told him that I was about to give a little entertainment. "Ah, on
+my life, I shall join it, as one of your friends, and give the go-by
+to the Marshal, to whom I was engaged." "My banquet," I said, "is too
+slight for gentlemen of your rank." "Nay," he replied, "I am a man of
+no ceremony, and I go simply to have a chat with thee; I vow, I am tired
+of grand entertainments." "But if you are expected, you will give
+offence, if you stay away." "Thou art joking, Marquis! We all know each
+other; I pass my time with thee much more pleasantly." I was chiding
+myself, sad and perplexed at heart at the unlucky result of my
+excuse, and knew not what to do next to get rid of such a mortal
+annoyance, when a splendidly built coach, crowded with footmen before
+and behind, stopped in front of us with a great clatter; from which
+leaped forth a young man gorgeously dressed; and my bore and he,
+hastening to embrace each other, surprised the passers-by with their
+furious encounter. Whilst both were plunged in these fits of civilities,
+I quietly made my exit without a word; not before I had long groaned
+under such a martyrdom, cursing this bore whose obstinate persistence
+kept me from the appointment which had been made with me here.
+
+LA M. These annoyances are mingled with the pleasures of life. All goes
+not, sir, exactly as we wish it. Heaven wills that here below everyone
+should meet bores; without that, men would be too happy.
+
+ER. But of all my bores the greatest is Damis, guardian of her whom I
+adore, who dashes every hope she raises, and has brought it to pass that
+she dares not see me in his presence. I fear I have already passed the
+hour agreed on; it is in this walk that Orphise promised to be.
+
+LA M. The time of an appointment has generally some latitude, and is not
+limited to a second.
+
+ER. True; but I tremble; my great passion makes out of nothing a crime
+against her whom I love.
+
+LA M. If this perfect love, which you manifest so well, makes out of
+nothing a great crime against her whom you love; the pure flame which
+her heart feels for you on the other hand converts all your crimes into
+nothing.
+
+ER. But, in good earnest, do you believe that I am loved by her?
+
+LA M. What! do you still doubt a love that has been tried?
+
+ER. Ah, it is with difficulty that a heart that truly loves has complete
+confidence in such a matter. It fears to flatter itself; and, amidst its
+various cares, what it most wishes is what it least believes. But let us
+endeavour to discover the delightful creature.
+
+LA M. Sir, your necktie is loosened in front.
+
+ER. No matter.
+
+LA M. Let me adjust it, if you please.
+
+ER. Ugh, you are choking me, blockhead; let it be as it is.
+
+LA M. Let me just comb...
+
+ER. Was there ever such stupidity! You have almost taken off my ear with
+a tooth of the comb.
+
+[Footnote: The servants had always a comb about them to arrange the wigs
+of their masters, whilst the latter thought it fashionable to comb and
+arrange their hair in public (see _The Pretentious Young Ladies_).]
+
+LA M. Your rolls...
+
+ER. Leave them; you are too particular.
+
+LA M. They are quite rumpled.
+
+ER. I wish them to be so.
+
+LA M. At least allow me, as a special favour, to brush your hat,
+which is covered with dust.
+
+ER. Brush, then, since it must be so.
+
+LA M. Will you wear it like that?
+
+ER. Good Heavens, make haste!
+
+LA M. It would be a shame.
+
+ER. _(After waiting_). That is enough.
+
+LA M. Have a little patience.
+
+ER. He will be the death of me!
+
+LA M. Where could you get all this dirt?
+
+ER. Do you intend to keep that hat forever?
+
+LA M. It is finished.
+
+ER. Give it me, then.
+
+LA M. (_Letting the hat fall_). Ah!
+
+ER. There it is on the ground. I am not much the better for all your
+brushing! Plague take you!
+
+LA M. Let me give it a couple of rubs to take off...
+
+ER. You shall not. The deuce take every servant who dogs your heels, who
+wearies his master, and does nothing but annoy him by wanting to set
+himself up as indispensable!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ORPHISE, ALCIDOR, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+(_Orphise passes at the foot of the stage; Alcidor holds her hand._)
+
+ER. But do I not see Orphise? Yes, it is she who comes. Whither goeth
+she so fast, and what man is that who holds her hand? (_He bows to her
+as she passes, and she turns her head another way_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. What! She sees me here before her, and she passes by, pretending not
+to know me! What can I think? What do you say? Speak if you will.
+
+LA M. Sir, I say nothing, lest I bore you.
+
+ER. And so indeed you do, if you say nothing to me whilst I suffer such
+a cruel martyrdom. Give me some answer; I am quite dejected. What am I
+to think? Say, what do you think of it? Tell me your opinion.
+
+LA M. Sir, I desire to hold my tongue, and not to set up for being
+indispensable.
+
+ER. Hang the impertinent fellow! Go and follow them; see what becomes of
+them, and do not quit them.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I follow at a distance?
+
+ER. Yes.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Without their seeing me, or letting it appear
+that I was sent after them?
+
+ER. No, you will do much better to let them know that you follow them by
+my express orders.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I find you here?
+
+ER. Plague take you. I declare you are the biggest bore in the world!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Ah, how anxious I feel; how I wish I had missed this fatal appointment!
+I thought I should find everything favourable; and, instead of that, my
+heart is tortured.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--LISANDRE, ERASTE.
+
+
+LIS. I recognized you under these trees from a distance, dear Marquis;
+and I came to you at once. As one of my friends, I must sing you a
+certain air which I have made for a little Couranto, which pleases all
+the connoisseurs at court, and to which more than a score have already
+written words.
+
+[Footnote: See Vol. I., page 164, note 14.]
+
+I have wealth, birth, a tolerable employment, and am of some consequence
+in France; but I would not have failed, for all I am worth, to compose
+this air which I am going to let you hear. (_He tries his voice_).
+La, la; hum, hum; listen attentively, I beg. (_he sings an air of a
+Couranto_). Is it not fine?
+
+ER. Ah!
+
+LIS. This close is pretty. (_He sings the close over again four or
+five times successively_). How do you like it?
+
+ER. Very fine, indeed.
+
+LIS. The steps which I have arranged are no less pleasing, and the
+figure in particular is wonderfully graceful. (_He sings the words,
+talks, and dances at the same time; and makes Eraste perform the lady's
+steps_). Stay, the gen-man crosses thus; then the lady crosses again:
+together: then they separate, and the lady comes there. Do you observe
+that little touch of a faint? This fleuret? These coupes running after
+the fair one.
+
+[Footnote: A fleuret was an old step in dancing formed of two half
+coupees and two steps on the point of the toes.]
+
+[Footnote: A coupe is a movement in dancing, when one leg is a little
+bent, and raised from the ground, and with the other a motion is made
+forward.]
+
+Back to back: face to face, pressing up close to her. (_After
+finishing_). What do you think of it, Marquis?
+
+ER. All those steps are fine.
+
+LIS. For my part, I would not give a fig for your ballet-masters.
+
+ER. Evidently.
+
+LIS. And the steps then?
+
+ER. Are wonderful in every particular.
+
+LIS. Shall I teach you them, for friendship's sake?
+
+ER. To tell the truth, just now I am somewhat disturbed ....
+
+LIS. Well, then, it shall be when you please. If I had those new words
+about me, we would read them together, and see which were the prettiest.
+
+ER. Another time.
+
+LIS. Farewell. My dearest Baptiste has not seen my Couranto; I am going
+to look for him. We always agree about the tunes; I shall ask him to
+score it.
+
+(_Exit, still singing_.)
+
+[Footnote: Jean Baptiste Lulli had been appointed, in the month of May
+of 1661, the same year that _The Bores_ was first played,
+_Surintendant et Compositeur de la musique de la chambre du Roi_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heavens! must we be compelled daily to endure a hundred fools, because
+they are men of rank, and must we, in our politeness, demean ourselves
+so often to applaud, when they annoy us?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+LA M. Sir, Orphise is alone, and is coming this way.
+
+ER. Ah, I feel myself greatly disturbed! I still love the cruel fair
+one, and my reason bids me hate her.
+
+LA M. Sir, your reason knows not what it would be at, nor yet what power
+a mistress has over a man's heart. Whatever just cause we may have to be
+angry with a fair lady, she can set many things to rights by a single
+word.
+
+ER. Alas, I must confess it; the sight of her inspires me with respect
+instead of with anger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--ORPHISE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ORPH. Your countenance seems to me anything but cheerful. Can it be my
+presence, Eraste, which annoys you? What is the matter? What is amiss?
+What makes you heave those sighs at my appearance?
+
+ER. Alas! can you ask me, cruel one, what makes me so sad, and what will
+kill me? Is it not malicious to feign ignorance of what you have done to
+me? The gentleman whose conversation made you pass me just now...
+
+ORPH. (_Laughing_). Does that disturb you?
+
+ER. Do, cruel one, anew insult my misfortune. Certainly, it ill becomes
+you to jeer at my grief, and, by outraging my feelings, ungrateful
+woman, to take advantage of my weakness for you.
+
+ORPH. I really must laugh, and declare that you are very silly to
+trouble yourself thus. The man of whom you speak, far from being able to
+please me, is a bore of whom I have succeeded in ridding myself; one of
+those troublesome and officious fools who will not suffer a lady to be
+anywhere alone, but come up at once, with soft speech, offering you a
+hand against which one rebels. I pretended to be going away, in order to
+hide my intention, and he gave me his hand as far as my coach. I soon
+got rid of him in that way, and returned by another gate to come to you.
+
+ER. Orphise, can I believe what you say? And is your heart really true
+to me?
+
+ORPH. You are most kind to speak thus, when I justify myself against
+your frivolous complaints. I am still wonderfully simple, and my foolish
+kindness...
+
+ER. Ah! too severe beauty, do not be angry. Being under your sway, I
+will implicitly believe whatever you are kind enough to tell me. Deceive
+your hapless lover if you will; I shall respect you to the last gasp.
+Abuse my love, refuse me yours, show me another lover triumphant; yes, I
+will endure everything for your divine charms. I shall die, but even
+then I will not complain.
+
+ORPH. As such sentiments rule your heart, I shall know, on my side ...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--ALCANDRE, ORPHISE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. (_To Orphise_). Marquis, one word. Madame, I pray you to
+pardon me, if I am indiscreet in venturing, before you, to speak with
+him privately. (_Exit Orphise_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--ALCANDRE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. I have a difficulty, Marquis, in making my request; but a fellow
+has just insulted me, and I earnestly wish, not to be behind-hand with
+him, that you would at once go and carry him a challenge from me. You
+know that in a like case I should joyfully repay you in the same coin.
+
+ER. (_After a brief silence_). I have no desire to boast, but I was
+a soldier before I was a courtier. I served fourteen years, and I think
+I may fairly refrain from such a step with propriety, not fearing that
+the refusal of my sword can be imputed to cowardice. A duel puts one in
+an awkward light, and our King is not the mere shadow of a monarch. He
+knows how to make the highest in the state obey him, and I think that he
+acts like a wise Prince. When he needs my service, I have courage enough
+to perform it; but I have none to displease him. His commands are a
+supreme law to me; seek some one else to disobey him. I speak to you,
+Viscount, with entire frankness; in every other matter I am at your
+service. Farewell.
+
+[Footnote: During his long reign, Louis XIV. tried to put a stop to
+duelling; and, though he did not wholly succeed, he prevented the
+seconds from participating in the fight,--a custom very general before
+his rule, and to which Eraste alludes in saying that he does not "fear
+that the refusal of his (my) sword can be imputed to cowardice."]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. To the deuce with these bores, fifty times over! Where, now, has my
+beloved gone to?
+
+LA M. I know not.
+
+ER. Go and search everywhere till you find her. I shall await you in
+this walk.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT I.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Players at Mall, crying out "Ware!" compel Eraste to draw back. After
+the players at Mall have finished, Eraste returns to wait for Orphise.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Inquisitive folk advance, turning round him to see who he is, and cause
+him again to retire for a little while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT II.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Are the bores gone at last? I think they rain here on every side. The
+more I flee from them, the more I light on them; and to add to my
+uneasiness, I cannot find her whom I wish to find. The thunder and rain
+have soon passed over, and have not dispersed the fashionable company.
+Would to Heaven that those gifts which it showered upon us, had driven
+away all the people who weary me! The sun sinks fast; I am surprised
+that my servant has not yet returned.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ALCIPPE, ERASTE.
+
+
+ALC. Good day to you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). How now! Is my passion always to be turned aside?
+
+ALC. Console me, Marquis, in respect of a wonderful game of piquet which
+I lost yesterday to a certain Saint-Bouvain, to whom I could have given
+fifteen points and the deal. It was a desperate blow, which has been too
+much for me since yesterday, and would make me wish all players at the
+deuce; a blow, I assure you, enough to make me hang myself in public.--I
+wanted only two tricks, whilst the other wanted a piquet. I dealt, he
+takes six, and asks for another deal. I, having a little of everything,
+refuse. I had the ace of clubs (fancy my bad luck!) the ace, king,
+knave, ten and eight of hearts, and as I wanted to make the point, threw
+away king and queen of diamonds, ten and queen of spades. I had five
+hearts in hand, and took up the queen, which just made me a high
+sequence of five. But my gentleman, to my extreme surprise, lays down on
+the table a sequence of six low diamonds, together with the ace. I had
+thrown away king and queen of the same colour. But as he wanted a
+piquet, I got the better of my fear, and was confident at least of
+making two tricks. Besides the seven diamonds he had four spades, and
+playing the smallest of them, put me in the predicament of not knowing
+which of my two aces to keep. I threw away, rightly as I thought, the
+ace of hearts; but he had discarded four clubs, and I found myself made
+_Capot_ by a six of hearts, unable, from sheer vexation, to say a
+single word.
+
+[Footnote: In the seventeenth century, piquet was not played with
+thirty-two, but with thirty-six, cards; the sixes, which are now thrown
+away, remained then in the pack. Every player received twelve cards, and
+twelve remained on the table. He who had to play first could throw away
+seven or eight cards, the dealer four or five, and both might take fresh
+ones from those that were on the table. A trick counted only when taken
+with one of the court-cards, or a ten.
+
+Saint-Bouvain, after having taken up his cards, had in hand six small
+diamonds with the ace, which counted 7, a sequence of six diamonds from
+the six to the knave counted 16, thus together 23, before he began to
+play. With his seven diamonds he made seven tricks, but only counted 3,
+for those made by the ace, knave, and ten; this gave him 26. Besides his
+seven diamonds he had four spades, most likely the ace, king, knave, and
+a little one, and a six of hearts; though he made all the tricks he only
+counted 3, which gave him 29. But as Alcippe had not made a single
+trick, he was _capot_, which gave Saint-Bouvain 40; this with the
+29 he made before, brought the total up to 69. As the latter only wanted
+a _piquet_, that is 60,--which is when a player makes thirty in a
+game, to which an additional thirty are then added, Saint-Bouvain won
+the game. Alcippe does not, however, state what other cards he had in
+his hand at the moment the play began besides the ace of clubs and a
+high sequence of five hearts, as well as the eight of the same colour.]
+
+By Heaven, account to me for this frightful piece of luck. Could it be
+credited, without having seen it?
+
+[Footnote: Compare with Moliere's description of the game of piquet
+Pope's poetical history of the game of Ombre in the third Canto of
+_The Rape of the Lock._]
+
+ER. It is in play that luck is mostly seen.
+
+ALC. 'Sdeath, you shall judge for yourself if I am wrong, and if it is
+without cause that this accident enrages me. For here are our two hands,
+which I carry about me on purpose. Stay, here is my hand, as I told you;
+and here ...
+
+ER. I understood everything from your description, and admit that you
+have a good cause to be enraged. But I must leave you on certain
+business. Farewell. But take comfort in your misfortune.
+
+ALC. Who; I? I shall always have that luck on my mind; it is worse than
+a thunderbolt to me. I mean to shew it to all the world. (_He retires
+and on the point of returning, says meditatively_) A six of hearts!
+two points.
+
+ER. Where in the world are we? Go where we will, we see nothing but
+fools.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Ha! how long you have been, and how you have made me suffer.
+
+LA M. Sir, I could not make greater haste.
+
+ER. But at length do you bring me some news?
+
+LA M. Doubtless; and by express command, from her you love, I have
+something to tell you.
+
+ER. What? Already my heart yearns for the message. Speak!
+
+LA M. Do you wish to know what it is?
+
+ER. Yes; speak quickly.
+
+LA M. Sir, pray wait. I have almost run myself out of breath.
+
+ER. Do you find any pleasure in keeping me in suspense?
+
+LA M. Since you wish to know at once the orders which I have received
+from this charming person, I will tell you.... Upon my word, without
+boasting of my zeal, I went a great way to find the lady; and if...
+
+ER. Hang your digressions!
+
+LA M. Fie! you should somewhat moderate your passion; and Seneca...
+
+ER. Seneca is a fool in your mouth, since he tells me nothing of all
+that concerns me. Tell me your message at once.
+
+LA M. To satisfy you, Orphise ... An insect has got among your hair.
+
+ER. Let it alone.
+
+LA M. This lovely one sends you word ...
+
+ER. What?
+
+LA M. Guess.
+
+ER. Are you aware that I am in no laughing mood?
+
+LA M. Her message is, that you are to remain in this place, that in a
+short time you shall see her here, when she has got rid of some
+country-ladies, who greatly bore all people at court.
+
+ER. Let us, then stay in the place she has selected. But since this
+message affords me some leisure, let me muse a little. (_Exit La
+Montagne_). I propose to write for her some verses to an air which I
+know she likes.
+
+(_He walks up and down the stage in a reverie_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ORANTE, CLIMENE, ERASTE (_at the side of the stage, unseen_.)
+
+
+OR. Everyone will be of my opinion.
+
+CL. Do you think you will carry your point by obstinacy?
+
+OR. I think my reasons better than yours.
+
+CL. I wish some one could hear both.
+
+OR. I see a gentleman here who is not ignorant; he will be able to judge
+of our dispute. Marquis, a word, I beg of you. Allow us to ask you to
+decide in a quarrel between us two; we had a discussion arising from our
+different opinions, as to what may distinguish the most perfect lovers.
+
+ER. That is a question difficult to settle; you had best look for a more
+skilful judge.
+
+OR. No: you speak to no purpose. Your wit is much commended; and we know
+you. We know that everyone, with justice, gives you the character of a...
+
+ER. Oh, I beseech you ...
+
+OR. In a word, you shall be our umpire, and you must spare us a couple
+of minutes.
+
+CL. (_To Orante_). Now you are retaining one who must condemn you:
+for, to be brief, if what I venture to hold be true, this gentleman will
+give the victory to my arguments.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Would that I could get hold of any rascal to invent
+something to get me off!
+
+OR. (_To Climene_). For my part, I am too much assured of his sense
+to fear that he will decide against me. (_To Eraste_). Well, this
+great contest which rages between us is to know whether a lover should
+be jealous.
+
+CL. Or, the better to explain my opinion and yours, which ought to
+please most, a jealous man or one that is not so?
+
+OR. For my part, I am clearly for the last.
+
+CL. As for me, I stand up for the first.
+
+OR. I believe that our heart must declare for him who best displays
+his respect.
+
+CL. And I that, if our sentiments are to be shewn, it ought to be for
+him who makes his love most apparent.
+
+OR. Yes; but we perceive the ardour of a lover much better through
+respect than through jealousy.
+
+CL. It is my opinion that he who is attached to us, loves us the more
+that he shows himself jealous?
+
+OR. Fie, Climene, do not call lovers those men whose love is like
+hatred, and who, instead of showing their respect and their ardour, give
+themselves no thought save how to become wearisome; whose minds, being
+ever prompted by some gloomy passion, seek to make a crime out of the
+slightest actions, are too blind to believe them innocent, and demand an
+explanation for a glance; who, if we seem a little sad, at once complain
+that their presence is the cause of it, and when the least joy sparkles
+in our eyes, will have their rivals to be at the bottom of it; who, in
+short, assuming a right because they are greatly in love, never speak to
+us save to pick a quarrel, dare to forbid anyone to approach us, and
+become the tyrants of their very conquerors. As for me, I want lovers to
+be respectful; their submission is a sure proof of our sway.
+
+CL. Fie, do not call those men true lovers who are never violent in
+their passion; those lukewarm gallants, whose tranquil hearts already
+think everything quite sure, have no fear of losing us, and
+overweeningly suffer their love to slumber day by day, are on good terms
+with their rivals, and leave a free field for their perseverance. So
+sedate a love incites my anger; to be without jealousy is to love
+coldly. I would that a lover, in order to prove his flame, should have
+his mind shaken by eternal suspicions, and, by sudden outbursts, show
+clearly the value he sets upon her to whose hand he aspires. Then his
+restlessness is applauded; and, if he sometimes treats us a little
+roughly, the pleasure of seeing him, penitent at our feet, to excuse
+himself for the outbreak of which he has been guilty, his tears, his
+despair at having been capable of displeasing us, are a charm to soothe
+all our anger.
+
+OR. If much violence is necessary to please you, I know who would
+satisfy you; I am acquainted with several men in Paris who love well
+enough to beat their fair ones openly.
+
+CL. If to please you, there must never be jealousy, I know several men
+just suited to you; lovers of such enduring mood that they would see you
+in the arms of thirty people without being concerned about it.
+
+OR. And now you must, by your sentence, declare whose love appears to
+you preferable.
+
+(_Orphise appears at the back of the stage, and sees Eraste between
+Orante and Climene_).
+
+ER. Since I cannot avoid giving judgment, I mean to satisfy you both at
+once; and, in order, not to blame that which is pleasing in your eyes,
+the jealous man loves more, but the other loves wisely.
+
+CL. The judgment is very judicious; but...
+
+ER. It is enough. I have finished. After what I have said permit me to
+leave you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--ORPHISE, ERASTE.
+
+
+ER. (_Seeing Orphise, and going to meet her_). How long you have
+been, Madam, and how I suffer ...
+
+ORPH. Nay, nay, do not leave such a pleasant conversation. You are wrong
+to blame me for having arrived too late. (_Pointing to Orante and
+Climene, who have just left_). You had wherewithal to get on without
+me.
+
+ER. Will you be angry with me without reason, and reproach me with what
+I am made to suffer? Oh, I beseech you, stay ...
+
+ORPH. Leave me, I beg, and hasten to rejoin your company.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heaven! must bores of both sexes conspire this day to frustrate my
+dearest wishes? But let me follow her in spite of her resistance, and
+make my innocence clear in her eyes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DORANTE, ERASTE.
+
+
+DOR. Ah, Marquis, continually we find tedious people interrupting the
+course of our pleasures! You see me enraged on account of a splendid
+hunt, which a booby ... It is a story I must relate to you.
+
+ER. I am looking for some one, and cannot stay.
+
+DOR. (_Retaining him_). Egad, I shall tell it you as we go along.
+We were a well selected company who met yesterday to hunt a stag; on
+purpose we went to sleep on the ground itself--that is, my dear sir, far
+away in the forest. As the chase is my greatest pleasure, I wished, to
+do the thing well, to go to the wood myself; we decided to concentrate
+our efforts upon a stag which every one said was seven years old.
+
+[Footnote: The original expression is _cerf dix-corps_; this,
+according to the _dictionnaire de chasse_, is a seven years' old
+animal.]
+
+But my own opinion was--though I did not stop to observe the marks--that
+it was only a stag of the second year.
+
+[Footnote: The technical term is: "a knobbler;" in French, _un cerf a
+sa seconde tete.]
+
+We had separated, as was necessary, into different parties, and were
+hastily breakfasting on some new-laid eggs, when a regular
+country-gentleman, with a long sword, proudly mounted on his brood-mare,
+which he honoured with the name of his good mare, came up to pay us an
+awkward compliment, presenting to us at the same time, to increase our
+vexation, a great booby of a son, as stupid as his father. He styled
+himself a great sportsman, and begged that he might have the pleasure of
+accompanying us. Heaven preserve every sensible sportsman, when hunting,
+from a fellow who carries a dog's horn, which sounds when it ought not;
+from those gentry who, followed by ten mangy dogs, call them "my pack,"
+and play the part of wonderful hunters. His request granted, and his
+knowledge commended, we all of us started the deer,
+
+[Footnote: The original has _frapper a nos brisees_; _brisees_
+means "blinks." According to Dr. Ash's Dictionary, 1775, "Blinks are the
+boughs or branches thrown in the way of a deer to stop its course."]
+
+within thrice the length of the leash, tally-ho! the dogs were put on
+the track of the stag. I encouraged them, and blew a loud blast. My stag
+emerged from the wood, and crossed a pretty wide plain, the dogs after
+him, but in such good order that you could have covered them all with
+one cloak. He made for the forest. Then we slipped the old pick upon
+him; I quickly brought out my sorrel-horse. You have seen him?
+
+ER. I think not.
+
+DOR. Not seen him? The animal is as good as he is beautiful; I bought
+him some days ago from Gaveau.
+
+[Footnote: A well-known horse-dealer in Moliere's time.]
+
+I leave you to think whether that dealer, who has such a respect for me,
+would deceive me in such a matter; I am satisfied with the horse. He
+never indeed sold a better, or a better-shaped one. The head of a barb,
+with a clear star; the neck of a swan, slender, and very straight; no
+more shoulder than a hare; short-jointed, and full of vivacity in his
+motion. Such feet--by Heaven! such feet!--double-haunched: to tell you
+the truth, it was I alone who found the way to break him in. Gaveau's
+Little John never mounted him without trembling, though he did his best
+to look unconcerned. A back that beats any horse's for breadth; and
+legs! O ye Heavens!
+
+[Footnote: Compare the description of the horse given by the Dauphin in
+Shakespeare's Henry V., Act iii., Scene 6, and also that of the "round
+hoof'd, short jointed" jennet in the _Venus and Adonis_ of the same
+author.]
+
+In short, he is a marvel; believe me, I have refused a hundred pistoles
+for him, with one of the horses destined for the King to boot. I then
+mounted, and was in high spirits to see some of the hounds coursing over
+the plain to get the better of the deer. I pressed on, and found myself
+in a by-thicket at the heels of the dogs, with none else but Drecar.
+
+[Footnote: A famous huntsman in Moliere's time.]
+
+There for an hour our stag was at bay. Upon this, I cheered on the dogs,
+and made a terrible row. In short, no hunter was ever more delighted! I
+alone started him again; and all was going on swimmingly, when a young
+stag joined ours. Some of my dogs left the others. Marquis, I saw them,
+as you may suppose, follow with hesitation, and Finaut was at a loss.
+But he suddenly turned, which delighted me very much, and drew the dogs
+the right way, whilst I sounded horn and hallooed, "Finaut! Finaut!" I
+again with pleasure discovered the track of the deer by a mole-hill, and
+blew away at my leisure. A few dogs ran back to me, when, as ill-luck
+would have it, the young stag came over to our country bumpkin. My
+blunderer began blowing like mad, and bellowed aloud, "Tallyho! tallyho!
+tallyho!" All my dogs left me, and made for my booby. I hastened there,
+and found the track again on the highroad. But, my dear fellow, I had
+scarcely cast my eyes on the ground, when I discovered it was the other
+animal, and was very much annoyed at it. It was in vain to point out to
+the country fellow the difference between the print of my stag's hoof
+and his. He still maintained, like an ignorant sportsman, that this was
+the pack's stag; and by this disagreement he gave the dogs time to get a
+great way off. I was in a rage, and, heartily cursing the fellow, I
+spurred my horse up hill and down dale, and brushed through boughs as
+thick as my arm. I brought back my dogs to my first scent, who set off,
+to my great joy, in search of our stag, as though he were in full view.
+They started him again; but, did ever such an accident happen? To tell
+you the truth, Marquis, it floored me. Our stag, newly started, passed
+our bumpkin, who, thinking to show what an admirable sportsman he was,
+shot him just in the forehead with a horse-pistol that he had brought
+with him, and cried out to me from a distance, "Ah! I've brought the
+beast down!" Good Heavens! did any one ever hear of pistols in
+stag-hunting? As for me, when I came to the spot, I found the whole
+affair so odd, that I put spurs to my horse in a rage, and returned home
+at a gallop, without saying a single word to that ignorant fool.
+
+ER. You could not have done better; your prudence was admirable. That is
+how we must get rid of bores. Farewell.
+
+DOR. When you like, we will go somewhere where we need not dread
+country-hunters.
+
+ER. (_Alone_). Very well. I think I shall lose patience in the end.
+Let me make all haste, and try to excuse myself.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT II.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Bowlers stop Eraste to measure a distance about which there is a
+dispute. He gets clear of them with difficulty, and leaves them to dance
+a measure, composed of all the postures usual to that game.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Little boys with slings enter and interrupt them, who are in their turn
+driven out by
+
+_Third Entry_.
+
+Cobblers, men and women, their fathers, and others, who are also driven
+out in their turn.
+
+_Fourth Entry_.
+
+A gardener, who dances alone, and then retires.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT III.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. It is true that on the one hand my efforts have succeeded; the
+object of my love is at length appeased. But on the other hand I am
+wearied, and the cruel stars have persecuted my passion with double
+fury. Yes, Damis, her guardian, the worst of bores, is again hostile to
+my tenderest desires, has forbidden me to see his lovely niece, and
+wishes to provide her to-morrow with another husband. Yet Orphise, in
+spite of his refusal, deigns to grant me this evening a favour; I have
+prevailed upon the fair one to suffer me to see her in her own house, in
+private. Love prefers above all secret favours; it finds a pleasure in
+the obstacle which it masters; the slightest conversation with the
+beloved beauty becomes, when it is forbidden, a supreme favour. I am
+going to the rendezvous; it is almost the hour; since I wish to be there
+rather before than after my time.
+
+LA M. Shall I follow you?
+
+ER. No. I fear least you should make me known to certain suspicious persons.
+
+LA M. But ....
+
+ER. I do not desire it.
+
+LA M. I must obey you. But at least, if at a distance....
+
+ER. For the twentieth time will you hold your tongue? And will you never
+give up this practice of perpetually making yourself a troublesome
+servant?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CARITIDES; ERASTE.
+
+
+CAR. Sir, it is an unseasonable time to do myself the honour of waiting
+upon you; morning would be more fit for performing such a duty, but it
+is not very easy to meet you, for you are always asleep, or in town. At
+least your servants so assure me. I have chosen this opportunity to see
+you. And yet this is a great happiness with which fortune favours me,
+for a couple of moments later I should have missed you.
+
+ER. Sir, do you desire something of me?
+
+CAR. I acquit myself, sir, of what I owe you; and come to you ... Excuse
+the boldness which inspires me, if...
+
+ER. Without so much ceremony, what have you to say to me?
+
+CAR. As the rank, wit, and generosity which every one extols in you...
+
+ER. Yes, I am very much extolled. Never mind that, sir.
+
+CAR. Sir, it is a vast difficulty when a man has to introduce himself;
+we should always be presented to the great by people who commend us in
+words, whose voice, being listened to, delivers with authority what may
+cause our slender merit to be known. In short, I could have wished that
+some persons well-informed could have told you, sir, what I am...
+
+ER. I see sufficiently, sir, what you are. Your manner of accosting me
+makes that clear.
+
+CAR. Yes, I am a man of learning charmed by your worth; not one of those
+learned men whose name ends simply in _us_. Nothing is so common as
+a name with a Latin termination. Those we dress in Greek have a much
+superior look; and in order to have one ending in _es_, I call
+myself Mr. Caritides.
+
+ER. Caritides be it. What have you to say?
+
+CAR. I wish, sir, to read you a petition, which I venture to beg of you
+to present to the King, as your position enables you to do.
+
+ER. Why, sir, you can present it yourself! ...
+
+CAR. It is true that the King grants that supreme favour; but, from the
+very excess of his rare kindness, so many villainous petitions, sir, are
+presented that they choke the good ones; the hope I entertain is that
+mine should be presented when his Majesty is alone.
+
+ER. Well, you can do it, and choose your own time.
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, the door-keepers are such terrible fellows! They treat men
+of learning like snobbs and butts; I can never get beyond the
+guard-room. The ill-treatment I am compelled to suffer would make me
+withdraw from court for ever, if I had not conceived the certain hope
+that you will be my Mecaeaenas with the King. Yes, your influence is to
+me a certain means ...
+
+ER. Well, then, give it me; I will present it.
+
+CAR. Here it is. But at least, hear it read.
+
+ER. No ...
+
+CAR. That you may be acquainted with it, sir, I beg.
+
+"TO THE KING.
+
+"_Sire,--Your most humble, most obedient, most faithful and most
+learned subject and servant, Caritides, a Frenchman by birth, a
+Greek_
+
+[Footnote: The original has _Grec_, a Greek. Can Caritides have
+wished to allude to the _graeaca fides_? _Grec_ means also a
+cheat at cards, and is said to owe its name to a certain Apoulos, a
+knight of Greek origin, who was caught in the very act of cheating at
+play in the latter days of Louis XIV.'s reign, even in the palace of the
+_grand monarque_.]
+
+_by profession, having considered the great and notable abuses which
+are perpetrated in the inscriptions on the signs of houses, shops,
+taverns, bowling-alleys, and other places in your good city of Paris;
+inasmuch as certain ignorant composers of the said inscriptions subvert,
+by a barbarous, pernicious and hateful spelling, every kind of sense and
+reason, without any regard for etymology, analogy, energy or allegory
+whatsoever, to the great scandal of the republic of letters, and of the
+French nation, which is degraded and dishonoured, by the said abuses and
+gross faults, in the eyes of strangers, and notably of the Germans,
+curious readers and inspectors of the said inscriptions..."
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion either to the reputation of the Germans
+as great drinkers, or as learned decipherers of all kinds of
+inscriptions.]
+
+ER. This petition is very long, and may very likely weary...
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, not a word could be cut out.
+
+ER. Finish quickly.
+
+CAR. (Continuing). "_Humbly petitions your Majesty to constitute, for
+the good of his state and the glory of his realm, an office of
+controller, supervisor, corrector, reviser and restorer in general of
+the said inscriptions; and with this office to honour your suppliant, as
+well in consideration of his rare and eminent erudition, as of the great
+and signal services which he has rendered to the state and to your
+Majesty, by making the anagram of your said Majesty in French, Latin,
+Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldean, Arabic_..."
+
+ER. (_Interrupting him_). Very good. Give it me quickly and retire:
+it shall be seen by the King; the thing is as good as done.
+
+CAR. Alas! sir, to show my petition is everything. If the King but see
+it, I am sure of my point; for as his justice is great in all things, he
+will never be able to refuse my prayer. For the rest, to raise your fame
+to the skies, give me your name and surname in writing, and I will make
+a poem, in which the first letters of your name shall appear at both
+ends of the lines, and in each half measure.
+
+ER. Yes, you shall have it to-morrow, Mr. Caritides. (_Alone_).
+Upon my word, such learned men are perfect asses. Another time I should
+have heartily laughed at his folly.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ORMIN, ERASTE.
+
+
+ORM. Though a matter of great consequence brings me here, I wished that
+man to leave before speaking to you.
+
+ER. Very well. But make haste; for I wish to be gone.
+
+ORM. I almost fancy that the man who has just left you has vastly
+annoyed you, sir, by his visit. He is a troublesome old man whose mind
+is not quite right, and for whom I have always some excuse ready to get
+rid of him. On the Mall, in the Luxembourg,
+
+[Footnote: The Mall was a promenade in Paris, shaded by trees, near the
+Arsenal.]
+
+[Footnote: The Luxembourg was in Moliere's time the most fashionable
+promenade of Paris.]
+
+and in the Tuileries he wearies people with his fancies; men like you
+should avoid the conversation of all those good-for-nothing pedants.
+For my part I have no fear of troubling you, since I am come, sir, to
+make your fortune.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). This is some alchymist: one of those creatures who
+have nothing, and are always promising you ever so much riches.
+(_Aloud_). Have you discovered that blessed stone, sir, which alone
+can enrich all the kings of the earth?
+
+ORM. Aha! what a funny idea! Heaven forbid, sir, that I should be one of
+those fools. I do not foster idle dreams; I bring you here sound words
+of advice which I would communicate, through you, to the King, and which
+I always carry about me, sealed up. None of those silly plans and vain
+chimeras which are dinned in the ears of our superintendents;
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion to the giver of the feast, Mons. Fouquet,
+_surintendant des finances_. See also page 299, note I.]
+
+none of your beggarly schemes which rise to no more than twenty or
+thirty millions; but one which, at the lowest reckoning, will give the
+King a round four hundred millions yearly, with ease, without risk or
+suspicion, without oppressing the nation in any way. In short, it is a
+scheme for an inconceivable profit, which will be found feasible at the
+first explanation. Yes, if only through you I can be encouraged ...
+
+ER. Well, we will talk of it. I am rather in a hurry.
+
+ORM. If you will promise to keep it secret, I will unfold to you this
+important scheme.
+
+ER. No, no; I do not wish to know your secret.
+
+ORM. Sir, I believe you are too discreet to divulge it, and I wish to
+communicate it to you frankly, in two words. I must see that none can
+hear us. (_After seeing that no one is listening, he approaches
+Eraste's ear_). This marvellous plan, of which I am the inventor, is...
+
+ER. A little farther off, sir, for a certain reason.
+
+ORM. You know, without any need of my telling you, the great profit
+which the King yearly receives from his seaports. Well, the plan of
+which no one has yet thought, and which is an easy matter, is to make
+all the coasts of France into famous ports. This would amount to vast
+sums; and if ...
+
+ER. The scheme is good, and will greatly please the King. Farewell. We
+shall see each other again.
+
+ORM. At all events assist me, for you are the first to whom I have
+spoken of it.
+
+ER. Yes, yes.
+
+ORM. If you would lend me a couple of pistoles, you could repay yourself
+out of the profits of the scheme ....
+
+ER. (_Gives money to Ormin_). Gladly. (_Alone_). Would to
+Heaven, that at such a price I could get rid of all who trouble me! How
+ill-timed their visit is! At last I think I may go. Will any one else
+come to detain me?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--FILINTE, ERASTE.
+
+
+FIL. Marquis, I have just heard strange tidings.
+
+ER. What?
+
+FIL. That some one has just now quarrelled with you.
+
+ER. With me?
+
+FIL. What is the use of dissimulation? I know on good authority that you
+have been called out; and, as your friend, I come, at all events, to
+offer you my services against all mankind.
+
+ER. I am obliged to you; but believe me you do me....
+
+FIL. You will not admit it; but you are going out without attendants.
+Stay in town, or go into the country, you shall go nowhere without my
+accompanying you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Oh, I shall go mad.
+
+FIL. Where is the use of hiding from me?
+
+ER. I swear to you, Marquis, that you have been deceived.
+
+FIL. It is no use denying it.
+
+ER. May Heaven smite me, if any dispute....
+
+FIL. Do you think I believe you?
+
+ER. Good Heaven, I tell you without concealment that....
+
+FIL. Do not think me such a dupe and simpleton.
+
+ER. Will you oblige me?
+
+FIL. No.
+
+ER. Leave me, I pray.
+
+FIL. Nothing of the sort, Marquis.
+
+ER. An assignation to-night at a certain place....
+
+FIL. I do not quit you. Wherever it be, I mean to follow you.
+
+ER. On my soul, since you mean me to have a quarrel, I agree to it, to
+satisfy your zeal. I shall be with you, who put me in a rage, and of
+whom I cannot get rid by fair means.
+
+FIL. That is a sorry way of receiving the service of a friend. But as I
+do you so ill an office, farewell. Finish what you have on hand without
+me.
+
+ER. You will be my friend when you leave me. (_Alone_). But see
+what misfortunes happen to me! They will have made me miss the hour
+appointed.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--DAMIS, L'EPINE, ERASTE, LA RIVIERE, _and his Companions_.
+
+
+DAM. (_Aside_). What! the rascal hopes to obtain her in spite of
+me! Ah! my just wrath shall know how to prevent him!
+
+ER. (_Aside_). I see some one there at Orphise's door. What! must
+there always be some obstacle to the passion she sanctions!
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). Yes, I have discovered that my niece, in spite
+of my care, is to receive Eraste in her room to-night, alone.
+
+LA R. (_To his companions_). What do I hear those people saying of
+our master? Let us approach safely, without betraying ourselves.
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). But before he has a chance of accomplishing
+his design, we must pierce his treacherous heart with a thousand blows.
+Go and fetch those whom I mentioned just now, and place them in ambush
+where I told you, so that at the name of Eraste they may be ready to
+avenge my honour, which his passion has the presumption to outrage; to
+break off the assignation which brings him here, and quench his guilty
+flame in his blood.
+
+LA R. (_Attacking Damis with his companions_). Before your fury can
+destroy him, wretch! you shall have to deal with us!
+
+ER. Though he would have killed me, honour urges me here to rescue the
+uncle of my mistress. (_To Damis_). I am on your side, Sir. (_He
+draws his sword and attacks La Riviere and his companions, whom he puts
+to flight_.)
+
+DAM. Heavens! By whose aid do I find myself saved from a certain death?
+To whom am I indebted for so rare a service?
+
+ER. (_Returning_). In serving you, I have done but an act of
+justice.
+
+DAM. Heavens. Can I believe my ears! Is this the hand of Eraste?
+
+ER. Yes, yes, Sir, it is I. Too happy that my hand has rescued you: too
+unhappy in having deserved your hatred.
+
+DAM. What! Eraste, whom I was resolved to have assassinated has just
+used his sword to defend me! Oh, this is too much; my heart is compelled
+to yield; whatever your love may have meditated to-night, this
+remarkable display of generosity ought to stifle all animosity. I blush
+for my crime, and blame my prejudice. My hatred has too long done you
+injustice! To show you openly I no longer entertain it, I unite you this
+very night to your love.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ORPHISE, DAMIS, ERASTE.
+
+
+ORPH. (_Entering with a silver candlestick in her hand_). Sir, what
+has happened that such a terrible disturbance....
+
+DAM. Niece, nothing but what is very agreeable, since, after having
+blamed, for a long time, your love for Eraste, I now give him to you for
+a husband. His arm has warded off the deadly thrust aimed at me; I
+desire that your hand reward him.
+
+ORPH. I owe everything to you; if, therefore, it is to pay him your
+debt. I consent, as he has saved your life.
+
+ER. My heart is so overwhelmed by this great miracle, that amidst this
+ecstasy, I doubt if I am awake.
+
+DAM. Let us celebrate the happy lot that awaits you; and let our violins
+put us in a joyful mood. (_As the violins strike up, there is a knock
+at the door_).
+
+ER. Who knocks so loud?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DAMIS, ORPHISE, ERASTE, L'EPINE.
+
+
+L'EP. Sir, here are masks, with kits and tabors.
+
+(_The masks enter, filling the stage_).
+
+ER. What! Bores for ever? Hulloa, guards, here. Turn out these rascals
+for me.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT III.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Swiss guards, with halberds, drive out all the troublesome masks, and
+then retire to make room for a dance of
+
+[Footnote: The origin of the introduction of the Swiss Guards
+(mercenaries) in the service of the French and other foreign powers may
+be ascribed to the fact that Switzerland itself, being too poor to
+maintain soldiers in time of peace, allowed them to serve other nations
+on condition of coming back immediately to their own cantons in time of
+war or invasion.
+
+It is particularly with France that Switzerland contracted treaties to
+furnish certain contingents in case of need. The first of these dates
+back as far as 1444 between the Dauphin, afterwards Charles VII., and
+the different cantons. This Act was renewed in 1453, and the number of
+soldiers to be furnished was fixed once for all, the minimum being
+6,000, and the maximum 16,000. The Helvetians, who until 1515 had always
+been faithful to their engagements, turned traitors in that year against
+Francis I., who defeated them at Marignan. But the good feeling was soon
+afterwards re-established, and a new treaty, almost similar to the
+former, restored the harmony between the two nations.
+
+Another document is extant, signed at Baden in 1553, by which the
+cantons bind themselves to furnish Henry II. with as many troops as he
+may want. It is particularly remarkable, inasmuch as it served as a
+basis for all subsequent ones until 1671. These conventions have not
+always been faithfully carried out, for the Swiss contracted engagements
+with other nations, notably with Spain, Naples, and Sardinia, and even
+with Portugal. At the commencement of the campaign of 1697, Louis XIV.
+had, notwithstanding all this, as many as 32,000 Swiss in his service,
+the highest number ever attained. The regulations for the foreign
+colonels and captains in their relations among themselves, and with the
+French Government, were not unlike those in force at present for the
+native soldiery in our Indian possessions. Towards the end of Louis
+XIV.'s reign the number decreased to 14,400, officers included; it rose
+in 1773 to 19,836, and during the wars of 1742-48. to 21,300. The ebb
+and flow of their numbers continued from that time until the Revolution
+of 1830, when they were finally abolished.
+
+They received a much higher pay than the national troops, and had
+besides this many other advantages, one of them being that the officers
+had in the army the next grade higher than that which they occupied in
+their own regiments; for instance, the colonel of a Swiss regiment had
+the rank of a major-general, and retired on the pay of a
+lieutenant-general, &c. They enjoyed the same privileges, with some
+slight modifications, wherever they served elsewhere.]
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Four shepherds and a shepherdess, who, in the opinion of all who saw it,
+concluded the entertainment with much grace.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+#13 in our series by Moliere
+
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+
+
+Title: The Bores
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6680]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BORES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+LES FACHEUX.
+
+COMEDIE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BORES.
+
+A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+AUGUST 17TH, 1661.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+_The Bores_ is a character-comedy; but the peculiarities taken as
+the text of the play, instead of being confined to one or two of the
+leading personages, are exhibited in different forms by a succession of
+characters, introduced one after the other in rapid course, and
+disappearing after the brief performance of their roles. We do not find
+an evolution of natural situations, proceeding from the harmonious
+conduct of two or three individuals, but rather a disjointed series of
+tableaux--little more than a collection of monologues strung together on
+a weak thread of explanatory comments, enunciated by an unwilling
+listener.
+
+The method is less artistic, if not less natural; less productive of
+situations, if capable of greater variety of illustrations. The
+circumstances under which Moliere undertook to compose the play explain
+his resort to the weaker manner of analysis. The Superintendent-General
+of finance, [Footnote: In Sir James Stephen's _Lectures on the History
+of France_, vol. ii. page 22, I find: "Still further to centralize
+the fiscal economy of France, Philippe le Bel created a new ministry. At
+the head of it he placed an officer of high rank, entitled the
+Superintendent-General of Finance, and, in subordination to him, he
+appointed other officers designated as Treasurers."] Nicolas Fouquet
+desiring to entertain the King, Queen, and court at his mansion of
+Vaux-le-Vicomte, asked for a comedy at the hands of the Palais-Royal
+company, who had discovered the secret of pleasing the Grand Monarque.
+Moliere had but a fortnight's notice; and he was expected, moreover, to
+accommodate his muse to various prescribed styles of entertainment.
+
+Fouquet wanted a cue for a dance by Beauchamp, for a picture by Lebrun,
+for stage devices by Torelli. Moliere was equal to the emergency. Never,
+perhaps, was a literary work written to order so worthy of being
+preserved for future generations. Not only were the intermediate ballets
+made sufficiently elastic to give scope for the ingenuity of the poet's
+auxiliaries, but the written scenes themselves were admirably contrived
+to display all the varied talent of his troupe.
+
+The success of the piece on its first representation, which took place
+on the 17th of August, 1661, was unequivocal; and the King summoned the
+author before him in order personally to express his satisfaction. It is
+related that, the Marquis de Soyecourt passing by at the time, the King
+said to Moliere, "There is an original character which you have not yet
+copied." The suggestion was enough. The result was that, at the next
+representation, Dorante the hunter, a new bore, took his place in the
+comedy.
+
+Louis XIV. thought he had discovered in Moliere a convenient mouthpiece
+for his dislikes. The selfish king was no lover of the nobility, and was
+short-sighted enough not to perceive that the author's attacks on the
+nobles paved the way for doubts on the divine right of kings themselves.
+Hence he protected Moliere, and entrusted to him the care of writing
+plays for his entertainments; the public did not, however, see _The
+Bores_ until the 4th of November of the same year; and then it met
+with great success.
+
+The bore is ubiquitous, on the stage as in everyday life. Horace painted
+him in his famous passage commencing _Ibam forte via Sacra_, and the
+French satirist, Regnier, has depicted him in his eighth satire.
+
+Moliere had no doubt seen the Italian farce, "_Le Case svaliggiate
+ovvera gli Interrompimenti di Pantalone_," which appears to have
+directly provided him with the thread of his comedy. This is the gist of
+it. A girl, courted by Pantaloon, gives him a rendezvous in order to
+escape from his importunities; whilst a cunning knave sends across his
+path a medley of persons to delay his approach, and cause him to break
+his appointment. This delay, however, is about the only point of
+resemblance between the Italian play and the French comedy.
+
+There are some passages in Scarron's _Epitres chagrines_ addressed
+to the Marshal d'Albret and M. d'Elbene, from which our author must have
+derived a certain amount of inspiration; for in these epistles the
+writer reviews the whole tribe of bores, in coarse but vigorous
+language.
+
+Moliere dedicated _The Bores_ to Louis XIV. in the following words:
+
+
+SIRE,
+
+I am adding one scene to the Comedy, and a man who dedicates a book is a
+species of Bore insupportable enough. Your Majesty is better acquainted
+with this than any person in the kingdom: and this is not the first time
+that you have been exposed to the fury of Epistles Dedicatory. But
+though I follow the example of others, and put myself in the rank of
+those I have ridiculed; I dare, however, assure Your Majesty, that what
+I have done in this case is not so much to present You a book, as to
+have the opportunity of returning You thanks for the success of this
+Comedy. I owe, Sire, that success, which exceeded my expectations, not
+only to the glorious approbation with which Your Majesty honoured this
+piece at first, and which attracted so powerfully that of all the world;
+but also to the order, which You gave me, to add a _Bore_, of which
+Yourself had the goodness to give me the idea, and which was proved by
+everyone to be the finest part of the work. [Footnote: See Prefatory
+Memoir, page xxviii. ?] I must confess, Sire, I never did any thing with
+such ease and readiness, as that part, where I had Your Majesty's
+commands to work.
+
+The pleasure I had in obeying them, was to me more than _Apollo_
+and all the _Muses_; and by this I conceive what I should be able
+to execute in a complete Comedy, were I inspired by the same commands.
+Those who are born in an elevated rank, may propose to themselves the
+honour of serving Your Majesty in great Employments; but, for my part,
+all the glory I can aspire to, is to amuse You. [Footnote: In spite of
+all that has been said about Moliere's passionate fondness for his
+profession, I imagine he must now and then have felt some slight, or
+suffered from some want of consideration. Hence perhaps the above
+sentence. Compare with this Shakespeare's hundred and eleventh sonnet:
+
+  "Oh! for my sake, do you with Fortune chide
+  The guilty goddess of my harmful deeds,
+  That did not better for my life provide
+  Than public means which public manners breeds.
+  Thence comes it that my name receives a brand;
+  And almost thence my nature is subdu'd
+  To what it works in, like the dyer's hand."]
+
+
+The ambition of my wishes is confined to this; and I think that, to
+contribute any thing to the diversion of her King, is, in some respects,
+not to be useless to France. Should I not succeed in this, it shall
+never be through want of zeal, or study; but only through a hapless
+destiny, which often accompanies the best intentions, and which, to a
+certainty, would be a most sensible affliction to SIRE, _Your_
+MAJESTY'S _most humble, most obedient, and most faithful Servant_,
+
+MOLIERE.
+
+
+In the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Moliere, London,
+1732," the play of _The Bores_ is dedicated, under the name of
+_The Impertinents_, to the Right Honourable the Lord Carteret,
+[Footnote: John, Lord Carteret, born 22nd April, 1690, twice
+Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, was Secretary of State and head of the
+Ministry from February, 1742, until November 23, 1744, became Earl
+Granville that same year, on the death of his mother; was president of
+the Council in 1751, and died in 1763.] in the following words:
+
+
+MY LORD,
+
+It is by Custom grown into a sort of Privilege for Writers, of
+whatsoever Class, to attack Persons of Rank and Merit by these kind of
+Addresses. We conceive a certain Charm in Great and Favourite Names,
+which sooths our Reader, and prepossesses him in our Favour: We deem
+ourselves of Consequence, according to the Distinction of our Patron;
+and come in for our Share in the Reputation he bears in the World. Hence
+it is, MY LORD, that Persons of the greatest Worth are most expos'd to
+these Insults.
+
+For however usual and convenient this may be to a Writer, it must be
+confess'd, MY LORD, it may be some degree of Persecution to a
+_Patron_; Dedicators, as _Moliere_ observes, being a Species
+of _Impertinents_, troublesome enough. Yet the Translator of this
+Piece hopes he may be rank'd among the more tolerable ones, in presuming
+to inscribe to Your LORDSHIP the _Facheux of Moliere_ done into
+_English_; assuring himself that Your LORDSHIP will not think any
+thing this Author has writ unworthy of your Patronage; nor discourage
+even a weaker Attempt to make him more generally read and understood.
+
+Your LORDSHIP is well known, as an absolute Master, and generous Patron
+of Polite Letters; of those Works especially which discover a Moral, as
+well as Genius; and by a delicate Raillery laugh men out of their
+Follies and Vices: could the Translator, therefore, of this Piece come
+anything near the Original, it were assured of your Acceptance. He will
+not dare to arrogate any thing to himself on this Head, before so good a
+Judge as Your LORDSHIP: He hopes, however, it will appear that, where
+he seems too superstitious a Follower of his Author, 'twas not because
+he could not have taken more Latitude, and have given more Spirit; but
+to answer what he thinks the most essential part of a Translator, to
+lead the less knowing to the Letter; and after better Acquaintance,
+Genius will bring them to the Spirit.
+
+The Translator knows your LORDSHIP, and Himself too well to attempt Your
+Character, even though he should think this a proper occasion: The
+Scholar--the Genius--the Statesman--the Patriot--the Man of Honour and
+Humanity.--Were a Piece finish'd from these Out-lines, the whole World
+would agree in giving it Your LORDSHIP.
+
+But that requires a Hand--the Person, who presents This, thinks it
+sufficient to be indulg'd the Honour of subscribing himself
+
+_My_ LORD, _Your Lordship's most devoted, most obedient, humble
+servant,_
+
+THE TRANSLATOR.
+
+
+Thomas Shadwell, whom Dryden flagellates in his _Mac-Flecknoe_, and
+in the second part of _Absalom and Achitophel_, and whom Pope
+mentions in his _Dunciad_, wrote _The Sullen Lovers, or the
+Impertinents_, which was first performed in 1668 at the Duke of
+York's Theatre, by their Majesties' Servants.
+
+This play is a working up of _The Bores_ and _The
+Misanthrope_, with two scenes from _The Forced Marriage_, and a
+reminiscence from _The Love-Tiff_. It is dedicated to the "Thrice
+Noble, High and Puissant Prince William, Duke, Marquis, and Earl of
+Newcastle," because all Men, who pretend either to Sword or Pen, ought
+"to shelter themselves under Your Grace's Protection." Another reason
+Shadwell gives for this dedication is in order "to rescue this (play)
+from the bloody Hands of the Criticks, who will not dare to use it
+roughly, when they see Your Grace's Name in the beginning." He also
+states, that "the first Hint I received was from the Report of a Play of
+Moliere's of three Acts, called _Les Fascheux_, upon which I wrote
+a great part of this before I read that." He borrowed, after reading it,
+the first scene in the second act, and Moliere's story of Piquet, which
+he translated into Backgammon, and says, "that he who makes a common
+practice of stealing other men's wit, would if he could with the same
+safety, steal anything else." Shadwell mentions, however, nothing of
+borrowing from _The Misanthrope_ and _The Forced Marriage_.
+The preface was, besides political difference, the chief cause of the
+quarrel between Shadwell and Dryden; for in it the former defends Ben
+Jonson against the latter, and mentions that--"I have known some of late
+so insolent to say that Ben Jonson wrote his best playes without wit,
+imagining that all the wit playes consisted in bringing two persons upon
+the stage to break jest, and to bob one another, which they call
+repartie." The original edition of _The Sullen Lovers_ is partly in
+blank verse; but, in the first collected edition of Shadwell's works,
+published by his son in 1720, it is printed in prose. Stanford, "a
+morose, melancholy man, tormented beyond measure with the impertinence
+of people, and resolved to leave the world to be quit of them" is a
+combination of Alceste in _The Misanthrope_, and Eraste in _The
+Bores_; Lovel, "an airy young gentleman, friend to Stanford, one that
+is pleased with, and laughs at, the impertinents; and that which is the
+other's torment, is his recreation," is Philinte of _The
+Misanthrope_; Emilia and Carolina appear to be Celimene and Eliante;
+whilst Lady Vaine is an exaggerated Arsinoe of the same play. Sir
+Positive At-all, "a foolish knight that pretends to understand
+everything in the world, and will suffer no man to understand anything
+in his Company, so foolishly positive, that he will never be convinced
+of an error, though never so gross," is a very good character, and an
+epitome of all the Bores into one.
+
+The prologue of _The Sullen Lovers_ begins thus:--
+
+  "How popular are Poets now-a-days!
+  Who can more Men at their first summons raise,
+  Than many a wealthy home-bred Gentleman,
+  By all his Interest in his Country can.
+  They raise their Friends; but in one Day arise
+  'Gainst one poor Poet all these Enemies."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+Never was any Dramatic performance so hurried as this; and it is a
+thing, I believe, quite new, to have a comedy planned, finished, got up,
+and played in a fortnight. I do not say this to boast of an
+_impromptu_, or to pretend to any reputation on that account: but
+only to prevent certain people, who might object that I have not
+introduced here all the species of Bores who are to be found. I know
+that the number of them is great, both at the Court and in the City, and
+that, without episodes, I might have composed a comedy of five acts and
+still have had matter to spare. But in the little time allowed me, it
+was impossible to execute any great design, or to study much the choice
+of my characters, or the disposition of my subject. I therefore confined
+myself to touching only upon a small number of Bores; and I took those
+which first presented themselves to my mind, and which I thought the
+best fitted for amusing the august personages before whom this play was
+to appear; and, to unite all these things together speedily, I made use
+of the first plot I could find. It is not, at present, my intention to
+examine whether the whole might not have been better, and whether all
+those who were diverted with it laughed according to rule. The time may
+come when I may print my remarks upon the pieces I have written: and I
+do not despair letting the world see that, like a grand author, I can
+quote Aristotle and Horace. In expectation of this examination, which
+perhaps may never take place, I leave the decision of this affair to the
+multitude, and I look upon it as equally difficult to oppose a work
+which the public approves, as it is to defend one which it condemns.
+
+There is no one who does not know for what time of rejoicing the piece
+was composed; and that _fete_ made so much noise, that it is not
+necessary to speak of it [Footnote: _The Bores_, according to the
+Preface, planned, finished, got up, and played in a fortnight, was acted
+amidst other festivities, first at Vaux, the seat of Monsieur Fouquet,
+Superintendent of Finances, the 17th of August, 1661, in the presence of
+the King and the whole Court, with the exception of the Queen. Three
+weeks later Fouquet was arrested, and finally condemned to be shut up in
+prison, where he died in 1672. It was not till November, 1661, that
+_The Bores_ was played in Paris.] but it will not be amiss to say a
+word or two of the ornaments which have been mixed with the Comedy.
+
+The design was also to give a ballet; and as there was only a small
+number of first-rate dancers, it was necessary to separate the
+_entrees_ [Footnote: See Prefatory Memoir, page xxx., note 12] of
+this ballet, and to interpolate them with the Acts of the Play, so that
+these intervals might give time to the same dancers to appear in
+different dresses; also to avoid breaking the thread of the piece by
+these interludes, it was deemed advisable to weave the ballet in the
+best manner one could into the subject, and make but one thing of it and
+the play. But as the time was exceedingly short, and the whole was not
+entirely regulated by the same person, there may be found, perhaps, some
+parts of the ballet which do not enter so naturally into the play as
+others do. Be that as it may, this is a medley new upon our stage;
+although one might find some authorities in antiquity: but as every one
+thought it agreeable, it may serve as a specimen for other things which
+may be concerted more at leisure.
+
+Immediately upon the curtain rising, one of the actors, whom you may
+suppose to be myself, appeared on the stage in an ordinary dress, and
+addressing himself to the King, with the look of a man surprised, made
+excuses in great disorder, for being there alone, and wanting both time
+and actors to give his Majesty the diversion he seemed to expect; at the
+same time in the midst of twenty natural cascades, a large shell was
+disclosed, which every one saw: and the agreeable Naiad who appeared in
+it, advanced to the front of the stage, and with an heroic air
+pronounced the following verses which Mr. Pellison had made, and which
+served as a Prologue.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+(_The Theatre represents a garden adorned with Termini and several
+fountains. A Naiad coming out of the water in a shell.)
+
+  Mortals, from Grots profound I visit you,
+  Gallia's great Monarch in these Scenes to view;
+  Shall Earth's wide Circuit, or the wider Seas,
+  Produce some Novel Sight your Prince to please;
+  Speak He, or wish: to him nought can be hard,
+  Whom as a living Miracle you all regard.
+  Fertile in Miracles, his Reign demands
+  Wonders at universal Nature's Hands,
+  Sage, young, victorious, valiant, and august,
+  Mild as severe, and powerful as he's just,
+  His Passions, and his Foes alike to foil,
+  And noblest Pleasures join to noblest Toil;
+  His righteous Projects ne'er to misapply,
+  Hear and see all, and act incessantly:
+  He who can this, can all; he needs but dare,
+  And Heaven in nothing will refuse his Prayer.
+  Let Lewis but command, these Bounds shall move,
+  And trees grow vocal as Dodona's Grove.
+  Ye Nymphs and Demi-Gods, whose Presence fills
+  Their sacred Trunks, come forth; so Lewis wills;
+  To please him be our task; I lead the way,
+  Quit now your ancient Forms but for a Day,
+  With borrow'd Shape cheat the Spectator's Eye,
+  And to Theatric Art yourselves apply.
+
+(_Several Dryads, accompanied by Fawns and Satyrs, come forth out of
+the Trees and Termini_.)
+
+  Hence Royal Cares, hence anxious Application,
+  (His fav'rite Work) to bless a happy Nation:
+  His lofty Mind permit him to unbend,
+  And to a short Diversion condescend;
+  The Morn shall see him with redoubled Force,
+  Resume the Burthen and pursue his Course,
+  Give Force to Laws, his Royal Bounties share,
+  Wisely prevent our Wishes with his Care.
+  Contending Lands to Union firm dispose,
+  And lose his own to fix the World's Repose.
+  But now, let all conspire to ease the Pressure
+  Of Royalty, by elegance of Pleasure.
+  Impertinents, avant; nor come in sight,
+  Unless to give him more supreme Delight.
+
+
+[Footnote: The Naiad was represented by Madeleine Beejart, even then
+good-looking, though she was more than forty years old. The verses are
+taken from the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Moliere in
+French and English, London, 1732," and as fulsome as they well can be.
+The English translation, which is not mine, fairly represents the
+official nonsense of the original.]
+
+(_The Naiad brings with her, for the Play, one part of the Persons she
+has summoned to appear, whilst the rest begin a Dance to the sound of
+Hautboys, accompanied by Violins_.)
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONAE.
+
+
+ERASTE, _in love with Orphise_.
+
+DAMIS, _guardian to Orphise_.
+
+ALCIDOR, _a bore_.
+
+LISANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCIPPE, _a bore_.
+
+DORANTE, _a bore_.
+
+CARITIDES, _a bore_.
+
+ORMIN, _a bore_.
+
+FILINTE, _a bore_.
+
+LA MONTAGNE, _servant to Eraste_.
+
+L'EPINE, _servant to Damis_.
+
+LA RIVIERE _and_ TWO COMRADES.
+
+ORPHISE, _in love with Eraste_.
+
+ORANTE, _a female bore_.
+
+CLIMENE, _a female bore_.
+
+_Scene_.--PARIS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Footnote: Moliere himself played probably the parts of Lisandre the
+dancer, Alcandre the duellist, or Alcippe the gambler, and perhaps all
+three, with some slight changes in the dress. He also acted Caritides
+the pedant, and Dorante the lover of the chase. In the inventory taken
+after Moliere's death we find: "A dress for the Marquis of the
+_Facheux_, consisting in a pair of breeches very large, and
+fastened below with ribbands, (_rhingrave_), made of common silk,
+blue and gold-coloured stripes, with plenty of flesh-coloured and yellow
+trimmings, with Colbertine, a doublet of Colbertine cloth trimmed with
+flame-coloured ribbands, silk stockings and garters." The dress of
+Caritides in the same play, "cloak and breeches of cloth, with picked
+trimmings, and a slashed doublet." Dorante's dress was probably "a
+hunting-coat, sword and belt; the above-mentioned hunting-coat
+ornamented with fine silver lace, also a pair of stag-hunting gloves,
+and a pair of long stockings (_bas a botter_) of yellow cloth." The
+original inventory, given by M. Soulie, has _toile Colbertine_, for
+"Colbertine cloth." I found this word in Webster's Dictionary described
+from _The Fop's Dictionary of 1690_ as "A lace resembling net-work,
+the fabric of Mons. Colbert, superintendent of the French king's
+manufactures." In Congreve's _The Way of the World_, Lady Wishfort,
+quarrelling with her woman Foible (Act v., Scene i), says to her, among
+other insults: "Go, hang out an old Frisoneer gorget, with a yard of
+yellow colberteen again!"]
+
+
+
+
+THE BORES (_LES FACHEUX._)
+
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Good Heavens! under what star am I born, to be perpetually worried
+by bores? It seems that fate throws them in my way everywhere; each day
+I discover some new specimen. But there is nothing to equal my bore of
+to-day. I thought I should never get rid of him; a hundred times I
+cursed the harmless desire, which seized me at dinner time, to see the
+play, where, thinking to amuse myself, I unhappily was sorely punished
+for my sins. I must tell you how it happened, for I cannot yet think
+about it coolly. I was on the stage,
+
+[Footnote: It was the custom for young men of fashion to seat themselves
+upon the stage (see Vol. I.. Prefatory Memoir, page 26, note 7). They
+often crowded it to such an extent, that it was difficult for the actors
+to move. This custom was abolished only in 1759, when the Count de
+Lauraguais paid the comedians a considerable sum of money, on the
+condition of not allowing any stranger upon the stage.]
+
+in a mood to listen to the piece which I had heard praised by so many.
+The actors began; everyone kept silence; when with a good deal of noise
+and in a ridiculous manner, a man with large rolls entered abruptly,
+crying out "Hulloa, there, a seat directly!" and, disturbing the
+audience with his uproar, interrupted the play in its finest passage.
+Heavens! will Frenchmen, altho' so often corrected, never behave
+themselves like men of common-sense? Must we, in a public theatre, show
+ourselves with our worst faults, and so confirm, by our foolish
+outbursts what our neighbours everywhere say of us? Thus I spoke; and
+whilst I was shrugging my shoulders, the actors attempted to continue
+their parts. But the man made a fresh disturbance in seating himself,
+and again crossing the stage with long strides, although he might have
+been quite comfortable at the wings, he planted his chair full in front,
+and, defying the audience by his broad back, hid the actors from
+three-fourths of the pit. A murmur arose, at which anyone else would
+have felt ashamed; but he, firm and resolute, took no notice of it, and
+would have remained just as he had placed himself, if, to my misfortune,
+he had not cast his eyes on me. "Ah, Marquis!" he said, taking a seat
+near me, "how dost thou do? Let me embrace thee." Immediately my face
+was covered with blushes that people should see I was acquainted with
+such a giddy fellow. I was but slightly known to him for all that: but
+so it is with these men, who assume an acquaintance on nothing, whose
+embraces we are obliged to endure when we meet them, and who are so
+familiar with us as to thou and thee us. He began by asking me a hundred
+frivolous questions, raising his voice higher than the actors.
+Everyone was cursing him; and in order to check him I said, "I should
+like to listen to the play." "Hast thou not seen it, Marquis? Oh, on my
+soul, I think it very funny, and I am no fool in these matters. I know
+the canons of perfection, and Corneille reads to me all that he writes."
+Thereupon he gave me a summary of the piece, informing me scene after
+scene of what was about to happen; and when we came to any lines which
+he knew by heart, he recited them aloud before the actor could say them.
+It was in vain for me to resist; he continued his recitations, and
+towards the end rose a good while before the rest. For these fashionable
+fellows, in order to behave gallantly, especially avoid listening to the
+conclusion. I thanked Heaven, and naturally thought that, with the
+comedy, my misery was ended. But as though this were too good to be
+expected, my gentleman fastened on me again, recounted his exploits, his
+uncommon virtues, spoke of his horses, of his love-affairs, of his
+influence at court, and heartily offered me his services. I politely
+bowed my thanks, all the time devising some way of escape. But he,
+seeing me eager to depart, said, "Let us leave; everyone is gone." And
+when we were outside, he prevented my going away, by saying, "Marquis,
+let us go to the Cours to show my carriage."
+
+[Footnote: The Cours is that part of the Champs-Elysees called _le
+Cours-la-Reine_; because Maria de Medici, the wife of Henry IV., had
+trees planted there. As the theatre finished about seven o'clock in the
+evening, it was not too late to show a carriage.]
+
+"It is very well built, and more than one Duke and Peer has ordered a
+similar one from my coach-maker." I thanked him, and the better to get
+off, told him that I was about to give a little entertainment. "Ah, on
+my life, I shall join it, as one of your friends, and give the go-by
+to the Marshal, to whom I was engaged." "My banquet," I said, "is too
+slight for gentlemen of your rank." "Nay," he replied, "I am a man of
+no ceremony, and I go simply to have a chat with thee; I vow, I am tired
+of grand entertainments." "But if you are expected, you will give
+offence, if you stay away." "Thou art joking, Marquis! We all know each
+other; I pass my time with thee much more pleasantly." I was chiding
+myself, sad and perplexed at heart at the unlucky result of my
+excuse, and knew not what to do next to get rid of such a mortal
+annoyance, when a splendidly built coach, crowded with footmen before
+and behind, stopped in front of us with a great clatter; from which
+leaped forth a young man gorgeously dressed; and my bore and he,
+hastening to embrace each other, surprised the passers-by with their
+furious encounter. Whilst both were plunged in these fits of civilities,
+I quietly made my exit without a word; not before I had long groaned
+under such a martyrdom, cursing this bore whose obstinate persistence
+kept me from the appointment which had been made with me here.
+
+LA M. These annoyances are mingled with the pleasures of life. All goes
+not, sir, exactly as we wish it. Heaven wills that here below everyone
+should meet bores; without that, men would be too happy.
+
+ER. But of all my bores the greatest is Damis, guardian of her whom I
+adore, who dashes every hope she raises, and has brought it to pass that
+she dares not see me in his presence. I fear I have already passed the
+hour agreed on; it is in this walk that Orphise promised to be.
+
+LA M. The time of an appointment has generally some latitude, and is not
+limited to a second.
+
+ER. True; but I tremble; my great passion makes out of nothing a crime
+against her whom I love.
+
+LA M. If this perfect love, which you manifest so well, makes out of
+nothing a great crime against her whom you love; the pure flame which
+her heart feels for you on the other hand converts all your crimes into
+nothing.
+
+ER. But, in good earnest, do you believe that I am loved by her?
+
+LA M. What! do you still doubt a love that has been tried?
+
+ER. Ah, it is with difficulty that a heart that truly loves has complete
+confidence in such a matter. It fears to flatter itself; and, amidst its
+various cares, what it most wishes is what it least believes. But let us
+endeavour to discover the delightful creature.
+
+LA M. Sir, your necktie is loosened in front.
+
+ER. No matter.
+
+LA M. Let me adjust it, if you please.
+
+ER. Ugh, you are choking me, blockhead; let it be as it is.
+
+LA M. Let me just comb...
+
+ER. Was there ever such stupidity! You have almost taken off my ear with
+a tooth of the comb.
+
+[Footnote: The servants had always a comb about them to arrange the wigs
+of their masters, whilst the latter thought it fashionable to comb and
+arrange their hair in public (see _The Pretentious Young Ladies_).]
+
+LA M. Your rolls...
+
+ER. Leave them; you are too particular.
+
+LA M. They are quite rumpled.
+
+ER. I wish them to be so.
+
+LA M. At least allow me, as a special favour, to brush your hat,
+which is covered with dust.
+
+ER. Brush, then, since it must be so.
+
+LA M. Will you wear it like that?
+
+ER. Good Heavens, make haste!
+
+LA M. It would be a shame.
+
+ER. _(After waiting_). That is enough.
+
+LA M. Have a little patience.
+
+ER. He will be the death of me!
+
+LA M. Where could you get all this dirt?
+
+ER. Do you intend to keep that hat forever?
+
+LA M. It is finished.
+
+ER. Give it me, then.
+
+LA M. (_Letting the hat fall_). Ah!
+
+ER. There it is on the ground. I am not much the better for all your
+brushing! Plague take you!
+
+LA M. Let me give it a couple of rubs to take off...
+
+ER. You shall not. The deuce take every servant who dogs your heels, who
+wearies his master, and does nothing but annoy him by wanting to set
+himself up as indispensable!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ORPHISE, ALCIDOR, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+(_Orphise passes at the foot of the stage; Alcidor holds her hand._)
+
+ER. But do I not see Orphise? Yes, it is she who comes. Whither goeth
+she so fast, and what man is that who holds her hand? (_He bows to her
+as she passes, and she turns her head another way_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. What! She sees me here before her, and she passes by, pretending not
+to know me! What can I think? What do you say? Speak if you will.
+
+LA M. Sir, I say nothing, lest I bore you.
+
+ER. And so indeed you do, if you say nothing to me whilst I suffer such
+a cruel martyrdom. Give me some answer; I am quite dejected. What am I
+to think? Say, what do you think of it? Tell me your opinion.
+
+LA M. Sir, I desire to hold my tongue, and not to set up for being
+indispensable.
+
+ER. Hang the impertinent fellow! Go and follow them; see what becomes of
+them, and do not quit them.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I follow at a distance?
+
+ER. Yes.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Without their seeing me, or letting it appear
+that I was sent after them?
+
+ER. No, you will do much better to let them know that you follow them by
+my express orders.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I find you here?
+
+ER. Plague take you. I declare you are the biggest bore in the world!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Ah, how anxious I feel; how I wish I had missed this fatal appointment!
+I thought I should find everything favourable; and, instead of that, my
+heart is tortured.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--LISANDRE, ERASTE.
+
+
+LIS. I recognized you under these trees from a distance, dear Marquis;
+and I came to you at once. As one of my friends, I must sing you a
+certain air which I have made for a little Couranto, which pleases all
+the connoisseurs at court, and to which more than a score have already
+written words.
+
+[Footnote: See Vol. I., page 164, note 14.]
+
+I have wealth, birth, a tolerable employment, and am of some consequence
+in France; but I would not have failed, for all I am worth, to compose
+this air which I am going to let you hear. (_He tries his voice_).
+La, la; hum, hum; listen attentively, I beg. (_he sings an air of a
+Couranto_). Is it not fine?
+
+ER. Ah!
+
+LIS. This close is pretty. (_He sings the close over again four or
+five times successively_). How do you like it?
+
+ER. Very fine, indeed.
+
+LIS. The steps which I have arranged are no less pleasing, and the
+figure in particular is wonderfully graceful. (_He sings the words,
+talks, and dances at the same time; and makes Eraste perform the lady's
+steps_). Stay, the gen-man crosses thus; then the lady crosses again:
+together: then they separate, and the lady comes there. Do you observe
+that little touch of a faint? This fleuret? These coupes running after
+the fair one.
+
+[Footnote: A fleuret was an old step in dancing formed of two half
+coupees and two steps on the point of the toes.]
+
+[Footnote: A coupe is a movement in dancing, when one leg is a little
+bent, and raised from the ground, and with the other a motion is made
+forward.]
+
+Back to back: face to face, pressing up close to her. (_After
+finishing_). What do you think of it, Marquis?
+
+ER. All those steps are fine.
+
+LIS. For my part, I would not give a fig for your ballet-masters.
+
+ER. Evidently.
+
+LIS. And the steps then?
+
+ER. Are wonderful in every particular.
+
+LIS. Shall I teach you them, for friendship's sake?
+
+ER. To tell the truth, just now I am somewhat disturbed ....
+
+LIS. Well, then, it shall be when you please. If I had those new words
+about me, we would read them together, and see which were the prettiest.
+
+ER. Another time.
+
+LIS. Farewell. My dearest Baptiste has not seen my Couranto; I am going
+to look for him. We always agree about the tunes; I shall ask him to
+score it.
+
+(_Exit, still singing_.)
+
+[Footnote: Jean Baptiste Lulli had been appointed, in the month of May
+of 1661, the same year that _The Bores_ was first played,
+_Surintendant et Compositeur de la musique de la chambre du Roi_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heavens! must we be compelled daily to endure a hundred fools, because
+they are men of rank, and must we, in our politeness, demean ourselves
+so often to applaud, when they annoy us?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+LA M. Sir, Orphise is alone, and is coming this way.
+
+ER. Ah, I feel myself greatly disturbed! I still love the cruel fair
+one, and my reason bids me hate her.
+
+LA M. Sir, your reason knows not what it would be at, nor yet what power
+a mistress has over a man's heart. Whatever just cause we may have to be
+angry with a fair lady, she can set many things to rights by a single
+word.
+
+ER. Alas, I must confess it; the sight of her inspires me with respect
+instead of with anger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--ORPHISE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ORPH. Your countenance seems to me anything but cheerful. Can it be my
+presence, Eraste, which annoys you? What is the matter? What is amiss?
+What makes you heave those sighs at my appearance?
+
+ER. Alas! can you ask me, cruel one, what makes me so sad, and what will
+kill me? Is it not malicious to feign ignorance of what you have done to
+me? The gentleman whose conversation made you pass me just now...
+
+ORPH. (_Laughing_). Does that disturb you?
+
+ER. Do, cruel one, anew insult my misfortune. Certainly, it ill becomes
+you to jeer at my grief, and, by outraging my feelings, ungrateful
+woman, to take advantage of my weakness for you.
+
+ORPH. I really must laugh, and declare that you are very silly to
+trouble yourself thus. The man of whom you speak, far from being able to
+please me, is a bore of whom I have succeeded in ridding myself; one of
+those troublesome and officious fools who will not suffer a lady to be
+anywhere alone, but come up at once, with soft speech, offering you a
+hand against which one rebels. I pretended to be going away, in order to
+hide my intention, and he gave me his hand as far as my coach. I soon
+got rid of him in that way, and returned by another gate to come to you.
+
+ER. Orphise, can I believe what you say? And is your heart really true
+to me?
+
+ORPH. You are most kind to speak thus, when I justify myself against
+your frivolous complaints. I am still wonderfully simple, and my foolish
+kindness...
+
+ER. Ah! too severe beauty, do not be angry. Being under your sway, I
+will implicitly believe whatever you are kind enough to tell me. Deceive
+your hapless lover if you will; I shall respect you to the last gasp.
+Abuse my love, refuse me yours, show me another lover triumphant; yes, I
+will endure everything for your divine charms. I shall die, but even
+then I will not complain.
+
+ORPH. As such sentiments rule your heart, I shall know, on my side ...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--ALCANDRE, ORPHISE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. (_To Orphise_). Marquis, one word. Madame, I pray you to
+pardon me, if I am indiscreet in venturing, before you, to speak with
+him privately. (_Exit Orphise_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--ALCANDRE, ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. I have a difficulty, Marquis, in making my request; but a fellow
+has just insulted me, and I earnestly wish, not to be behind-hand with
+him, that you would at once go and carry him a challenge from me. You
+know that in a like case I should joyfully repay you in the same coin.
+
+ER. (_After a brief silence_). I have no desire to boast, but I was
+a soldier before I was a courtier. I served fourteen years, and I think
+I may fairly refrain from such a step with propriety, not fearing that
+the refusal of my sword can be imputed to cowardice. A duel puts one in
+an awkward light, and our King is not the mere shadow of a monarch. He
+knows how to make the highest in the state obey him, and I think that he
+acts like a wise Prince. When he needs my service, I have courage enough
+to perform it; but I have none to displease him. His commands are a
+supreme law to me; seek some one else to disobey him. I speak to you,
+Viscount, with entire frankness; in every other matter I am at your
+service. Farewell.
+
+[Footnote: During his long reign, Louis XIV. tried to put a stop to
+duelling; and, though he did not wholly succeed, he prevented the
+seconds from participating in the fight,--a custom very general before
+his rule, and to which Eraste alludes in saying that he does not "fear
+that the refusal of his (my) sword can be imputed to cowardice."]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. To the deuce with these bores, fifty times over! Where, now, has my
+beloved gone to?
+
+LA M. I know not.
+
+ER. Go and search everywhere till you find her. I shall await you in
+this walk.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT I.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Players at Mall, crying out "Ware!" compel Eraste to draw back. After
+the players at Mall have finished, Eraste returns to wait for Orphise.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Inquisitive folk advance, turning round him to see who he is, and cause
+him again to retire for a little while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT II.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Are the bores gone at last? I think they rain here on every side. The
+more I flee from them, the more I light on them; and to add to my
+uneasiness, I cannot find her whom I wish to find. The thunder and rain
+have soon passed over, and have not dispersed the fashionable company.
+Would to Heaven that those gifts which it showered upon us, had driven
+away all the people who weary me! The sun sinks fast; I am surprised
+that my servant has not yet returned.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ALCIPPE, ERASTE.
+
+
+ALC. Good day to you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). How now! Is my passion always to be turned aside?
+
+ALC. Console me, Marquis, in respect of a wonderful game of piquet which
+I lost yesterday to a certain Saint-Bouvain, to whom I could have given
+fifteen points and the deal. It was a desperate blow, which has been too
+much for me since yesterday, and would make me wish all players at the
+deuce; a blow, I assure you, enough to make me hang myself in public.--I
+wanted only two tricks, whilst the other wanted a piquet. I dealt, he
+takes six, and asks for another deal. I, having a little of everything,
+refuse. I had the ace of clubs (fancy my bad luck!) the ace, king,
+knave, ten and eight of hearts, and as I wanted to make the point, threw
+away king and queen of diamonds, ten and queen of spades. I had five
+hearts in hand, and took up the queen, which just made me a high
+sequence of five. But my gentleman, to my extreme surprise, lays down on
+the table a sequence of six low diamonds, together with the ace. I had
+thrown away king and queen of the same colour. But as he wanted a
+piquet, I got the better of my fear, and was confident at least of
+making two tricks. Besides the seven diamonds he had four spades, and
+playing the smallest of them, put me in the predicament of not knowing
+which of my two aces to keep. I threw away, rightly as I thought, the
+ace of hearts; but he had discarded four clubs, and I found myself made
+_Capot_ by a six of hearts, unable, from sheer vexation, to say a
+single word.
+
+[Footnote: In the seventeenth century, piquet was not played with
+thirty-two, but with thirty-six, cards; the sixes, which are now thrown
+away, remained then in the pack. Every player received twelve cards, and
+twelve remained on the table. He who had to play first could throw away
+seven or eight cards, the dealer four or five, and both might take fresh
+ones from those that were on the table. A trick counted only when taken
+with one of the court-cards, or a ten.
+
+Saint-Bouvain, after having taken up his cards, had in hand six small
+diamonds with the ace, which counted 7, a sequence of six diamonds from
+the six to the knave counted 16, thus together 23, before he began to
+play. With his seven diamonds he made seven tricks, but only counted 3,
+for those made by the ace, knave, and ten; this gave him 26. Besides his
+seven diamonds he had four spades, most likely the ace, king, knave, and
+a little one, and a six of hearts; though he made all the tricks he only
+counted 3, which gave him 29. But as Alcippe had not made a single
+trick, he was _capot_, which gave Saint-Bouvain 40; this with the
+29 he made before, brought the total up to 69. As the latter only wanted
+a _piquet_, that is 60,--which is when a player makes thirty in a
+game, to which an additional thirty are then added, Saint-Bouvain won
+the game. Alcippe does not, however, state what other cards he had in
+his hand at the moment the play began besides the ace of clubs and a
+high sequence of five hearts, as well as the eight of the same colour.]
+
+By Heaven, account to me for this frightful piece of luck. Could it be
+credited, without having seen it?
+
+[Footnote: Compare with Moliere's description of the game of piquet
+Pope's poetical history of the game of Ombre in the third Canto of
+_The Rape of the Lock._]
+
+ER. It is in play that luck is mostly seen.
+
+ALC. 'Sdeath, you shall judge for yourself if I am wrong, and if it is
+without cause that this accident enrages me. For here are our two hands,
+which I carry about me on purpose. Stay, here is my hand, as I told you;
+and here ...
+
+ER. I understood everything from your description, and admit that you
+have a good cause to be enraged. But I must leave you on certain
+business. Farewell. But take comfort in your misfortune.
+
+ALC. Who; I? I shall always have that luck on my mind; it is worse than
+a thunderbolt to me. I mean to shew it to all the world. (_He retires
+and on the point of returning, says meditatively_) A six of hearts!
+two points.
+
+ER. Where in the world are we? Go where we will, we see nothing but
+fools.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Ha! how long you have been, and how you have made me suffer.
+
+LA M. Sir, I could not make greater haste.
+
+ER. But at length do you bring me some news?
+
+LA M. Doubtless; and by express command, from her you love, I have
+something to tell you.
+
+ER. What? Already my heart yearns for the message. Speak!
+
+LA M. Do you wish to know what it is?
+
+ER. Yes; speak quickly.
+
+LA M. Sir, pray wait. I have almost run myself out of breath.
+
+ER. Do you find any pleasure in keeping me in suspense?
+
+LA M. Since you wish to know at once the orders which I have received
+from this charming person, I will tell you.... Upon my word, without
+boasting of my zeal, I went a great way to find the lady; and if...
+
+ER. Hang your digressions!
+
+LA M. Fie! you should somewhat moderate your passion; and Seneca...
+
+ER. Seneca is a fool in your mouth, since he tells me nothing of all
+that concerns me. Tell me your message at once.
+
+LA M. To satisfy you, Orphise ... An insect has got among your hair.
+
+ER. Let it alone.
+
+LA M. This lovely one sends you word ...
+
+ER. What?
+
+LA M. Guess.
+
+ER. Are you aware that I am in no laughing mood?
+
+LA M. Her message is, that you are to remain in this place, that in a
+short time you shall see her here, when she has got rid of some
+country-ladies, who greatly bore all people at court.
+
+ER. Let us, then stay in the place she has selected. But since this
+message affords me some leisure, let me muse a little. (_Exit La
+Montagne_). I propose to write for her some verses to an air which I
+know she likes.
+
+(_He walks up and down the stage in a reverie_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ORANTE, CLIMENE, ERASTE (_at the side of the stage, unseen_.)
+
+
+OR. Everyone will be of my opinion.
+
+CL. Do you think you will carry your point by obstinacy?
+
+OR. I think my reasons better than yours.
+
+CL. I wish some one could hear both.
+
+OR. I see a gentleman here who is not ignorant; he will be able to judge
+of our dispute. Marquis, a word, I beg of you. Allow us to ask you to
+decide in a quarrel between us two; we had a discussion arising from our
+different opinions, as to what may distinguish the most perfect lovers.
+
+ER. That is a question difficult to settle; you had best look for a more
+skilful judge.
+
+OR. No: you speak to no purpose. Your wit is much commended; and we know
+you. We know that everyone, with justice, gives you the character of a...
+
+ER. Oh, I beseech you ...
+
+OR. In a word, you shall be our umpire, and you must spare us a couple
+of minutes.
+
+CL. (_To Orante_). Now you are retaining one who must condemn you:
+for, to be brief, if what I venture to hold be true, this gentleman will
+give the victory to my arguments.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Would that I could get hold of any rascal to invent
+something to get me off!
+
+OR. (_To Climene_). For my part, I am too much assured of his sense
+to fear that he will decide against me. (_To Eraste_). Well, this
+great contest which rages between us is to know whether a lover should
+be jealous.
+
+CL. Or, the better to explain my opinion and yours, which ought to
+please most, a jealous man or one that is not so?
+
+OR. For my part, I am clearly for the last.
+
+CL. As for me, I stand up for the first.
+
+OR. I believe that our heart must declare for him who best displays
+his respect.
+
+CL. And I that, if our sentiments are to be shewn, it ought to be for
+him who makes his love most apparent.
+
+OR. Yes; but we perceive the ardour of a lover much better through
+respect than through jealousy.
+
+CL. It is my opinion that he who is attached to us, loves us the more
+that he shows himself jealous?
+
+OR. Fie, Climene, do not call lovers those men whose love is like
+hatred, and who, instead of showing their respect and their ardour, give
+themselves no thought save how to become wearisome; whose minds, being
+ever prompted by some gloomy passion, seek to make a crime out of the
+slightest actions, are too blind to believe them innocent, and demand an
+explanation for a glance; who, if we seem a little sad, at once complain
+that their presence is the cause of it, and when the least joy sparkles
+in our eyes, will have their rivals to be at the bottom of it; who, in
+short, assuming a right because they are greatly in love, never speak to
+us save to pick a quarrel, dare to forbid anyone to approach us, and
+become the tyrants of their very conquerors. As for me, I want lovers to
+be respectful; their submission is a sure proof of our sway.
+
+CL. Fie, do not call those men true lovers who are never violent in
+their passion; those lukewarm gallants, whose tranquil hearts already
+think everything quite sure, have no fear of losing us, and
+overweeningly suffer their love to slumber day by day, are on good terms
+with their rivals, and leave a free field for their perseverance. So
+sedate a love incites my anger; to be without jealousy is to love
+coldly. I would that a lover, in order to prove his flame, should have
+his mind shaken by eternal suspicions, and, by sudden outbursts, show
+clearly the value he sets upon her to whose hand he aspires. Then his
+restlessness is applauded; and, if he sometimes treats us a little
+roughly, the pleasure of seeing him, penitent at our feet, to excuse
+himself for the outbreak of which he has been guilty, his tears, his
+despair at having been capable of displeasing us, are a charm to soothe
+all our anger.
+
+OR. If much violence is necessary to please you, I know who would
+satisfy you; I am acquainted with several men in Paris who love well
+enough to beat their fair ones openly.
+
+CL. If to please you, there must never be jealousy, I know several men
+just suited to you; lovers of such enduring mood that they would see you
+in the arms of thirty people without being concerned about it.
+
+OR. And now you must, by your sentence, declare whose love appears to
+you preferable.
+
+(_Orphise appears at the back of the stage, and sees Eraste between
+Orante and Climene_).
+
+ER. Since I cannot avoid giving judgment, I mean to satisfy you both at
+once; and, in order, not to blame that which is pleasing in your eyes,
+the jealous man loves more, but the other loves wisely.
+
+CL. The judgment is very judicious; but...
+
+ER. It is enough. I have finished. After what I have said permit me to
+leave you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--ORPHISE, ERASTE.
+
+
+ER. (_Seeing Orphise, and going to meet her_). How long you have
+been, Madam, and how I suffer ...
+
+ORPH. Nay, nay, do not leave such a pleasant conversation. You are wrong
+to blame me for having arrived too late. (_Pointing to Orante and
+Climene, who have just left_). You had wherewithal to get on without
+me.
+
+ER. Will you be angry with me without reason, and reproach me with what
+I am made to suffer? Oh, I beseech you, stay ...
+
+ORPH. Leave me, I beg, and hasten to rejoin your company.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ERASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heaven! must bores of both sexes conspire this day to frustrate my
+dearest wishes? But let me follow her in spite of her resistance, and
+make my innocence clear in her eyes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DORANTE, ERASTE.
+
+
+DOR. Ah, Marquis, continually we find tedious people interrupting the
+course of our pleasures! You see me enraged on account of a splendid
+hunt, which a booby ... It is a story I must relate to you.
+
+ER. I am looking for some one, and cannot stay.
+
+DOR. (_Retaining him_). Egad, I shall tell it you as we go along.
+We were a well selected company who met yesterday to hunt a stag; on
+purpose we went to sleep on the ground itself--that is, my dear sir, far
+away in the forest. As the chase is my greatest pleasure, I wished, to
+do the thing well, to go to the wood myself; we decided to concentrate
+our efforts upon a stag which every one said was seven years old.
+
+[Footnote: The original expression is _cerf dix-corps_; this,
+according to the _dictionnaire de chasse_, is a seven years' old
+animal.]
+
+But my own opinion was--though I did not stop to observe the marks--that
+it was only a stag of the second year.
+
+[Footnote: The technical term is: "a knobbler;" in French, _un cerf a
+sa seconde tete.]
+
+We had separated, as was necessary, into different parties, and were
+hastily breakfasting on some new-laid eggs, when a regular
+country-gentleman, with a long sword, proudly mounted on his brood-mare,
+which he honoured with the name of his good mare, came up to pay us an
+awkward compliment, presenting to us at the same time, to increase our
+vexation, a great booby of a son, as stupid as his father. He styled
+himself a great sportsman, and begged that he might have the pleasure of
+accompanying us. Heaven preserve every sensible sportsman, when hunting,
+from a fellow who carries a dog's horn, which sounds when it ought not;
+from those gentry who, followed by ten mangy dogs, call them "my pack,"
+and play the part of wonderful hunters. His request granted, and his
+knowledge commended, we all of us started the deer,
+
+[Footnote: The original has _frapper a nos brisees_; _brisees_
+means "blinks." According to Dr. Ash's Dictionary, 1775, "Blinks are the
+boughs or branches thrown in the way of a deer to stop its course."]
+
+within thrice the length of the leash, tally-ho! the dogs were put on
+the track of the stag. I encouraged them, and blew a loud blast. My stag
+emerged from the wood, and crossed a pretty wide plain, the dogs after
+him, but in such good order that you could have covered them all with
+one cloak. He made for the forest. Then we slipped the old pick upon
+him; I quickly brought out my sorrel-horse. You have seen him?
+
+ER. I think not.
+
+DOR. Not seen him? The animal is as good as he is beautiful; I bought
+him some days ago from Gaveau.
+
+[Footnote: A well-known horse-dealer in Moliere's time.]
+
+I leave you to think whether that dealer, who has such a respect for me,
+would deceive me in such a matter; I am satisfied with the horse. He
+never indeed sold a better, or a better-shaped one. The head of a barb,
+with a clear star; the neck of a swan, slender, and very straight; no
+more shoulder than a hare; short-jointed, and full of vivacity in his
+motion. Such feet--by Heaven! such feet!--double-haunched: to tell you
+the truth, it was I alone who found the way to break him in. Gaveau's
+Little John never mounted him without trembling, though he did his best
+to look unconcerned. A back that beats any horse's for breadth; and
+legs! O ye Heavens!
+
+[Footnote: Compare the description of the horse given by the Dauphin in
+Shakespeare's Henry V., Act iii., Scene 6, and also that of the "round
+hoof'd, short jointed" jennet in the _Venus and Adonis_ of the same
+author.]
+
+In short, he is a marvel; believe me, I have refused a hundred pistoles
+for him, with one of the horses destined for the King to boot. I then
+mounted, and was in high spirits to see some of the hounds coursing over
+the plain to get the better of the deer. I pressed on, and found myself
+in a by-thicket at the heels of the dogs, with none else but Drecar.
+
+[Footnote: A famous huntsman in Moliere's time.]
+
+There for an hour our stag was at bay. Upon this, I cheered on the dogs,
+and made a terrible row. In short, no hunter was ever more delighted! I
+alone started him again; and all was going on swimmingly, when a young
+stag joined ours. Some of my dogs left the others. Marquis, I saw them,
+as you may suppose, follow with hesitation, and Finaut was at a loss.
+But he suddenly turned, which delighted me very much, and drew the dogs
+the right way, whilst I sounded horn and hallooed, "Finaut! Finaut!" I
+again with pleasure discovered the track of the deer by a mole-hill, and
+blew away at my leisure. A few dogs ran back to me, when, as ill-luck
+would have it, the young stag came over to our country bumpkin. My
+blunderer began blowing like mad, and bellowed aloud, "Tallyho! tallyho!
+tallyho!" All my dogs left me, and made for my booby. I hastened there,
+and found the track again on the highroad. But, my dear fellow, I had
+scarcely cast my eyes on the ground, when I discovered it was the other
+animal, and was very much annoyed at it. It was in vain to point out to
+the country fellow the difference between the print of my stag's hoof
+and his. He still maintained, like an ignorant sportsman, that this was
+the pack's stag; and by this disagreement he gave the dogs time to get a
+great way off. I was in a rage, and, heartily cursing the fellow, I
+spurred my horse up hill and down dale, and brushed through boughs as
+thick as my arm. I brought back my dogs to my first scent, who set off,
+to my great joy, in search of our stag, as though he were in full view.
+They started him again; but, did ever such an accident happen? To tell
+you the truth, Marquis, it floored me. Our stag, newly started, passed
+our bumpkin, who, thinking to show what an admirable sportsman he was,
+shot him just in the forehead with a horse-pistol that he had brought
+with him, and cried out to me from a distance, "Ah! I've brought the
+beast down!" Good Heavens! did any one ever hear of pistols in
+stag-hunting? As for me, when I came to the spot, I found the whole
+affair so odd, that I put spurs to my horse in a rage, and returned home
+at a gallop, without saying a single word to that ignorant fool.
+
+ER. You could not have done better; your prudence was admirable. That is
+how we must get rid of bores. Farewell.
+
+DOR. When you like, we will go somewhere where we need not dread
+country-hunters.
+
+ER. (_Alone_). Very well. I think I shall lose patience in the end.
+Let me make all haste, and try to excuse myself.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT II.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Bowlers stop Eraste to measure a distance about which there is a
+dispute. He gets clear of them with difficulty, and leaves them to dance
+a measure, composed of all the postures usual to that game.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Little boys with slings enter and interrupt them, who are in their turn
+driven out by
+
+_Third Entry_.
+
+Cobblers, men and women, their fathers, and others, who are also driven
+out in their turn.
+
+_Fourth Entry_.
+
+A gardener, who dances alone, and then retires.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT III.
+
+SCENE I.--ERASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. It is true that on the one hand my efforts have succeeded; the
+object of my love is at length appeased. But on the other hand I am
+wearied, and the cruel stars have persecuted my passion with double
+fury. Yes, Damis, her guardian, the worst of bores, is again hostile to
+my tenderest desires, has forbidden me to see his lovely niece, and
+wishes to provide her to-morrow with another husband. Yet Orphise, in
+spite of his refusal, deigns to grant me this evening a favour; I have
+prevailed upon the fair one to suffer me to see her in her own house, in
+private. Love prefers above all secret favours; it finds a pleasure in
+the obstacle which it masters; the slightest conversation with the
+beloved beauty becomes, when it is forbidden, a supreme favour. I am
+going to the rendezvous; it is almost the hour; since I wish to be there
+rather before than after my time.
+
+LA M. Shall I follow you?
+
+ER. No. I fear least you should make me known to certain suspicious persons.
+
+LA M. But ....
+
+ER. I do not desire it.
+
+LA M. I must obey you. But at least, if at a distance....
+
+ER. For the twentieth time will you hold your tongue? And will you never
+give up this practice of perpetually making yourself a troublesome
+servant?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CARITIDES; ERASTE.
+
+
+CAR. Sir, it is an unseasonable time to do myself the honour of waiting
+upon you; morning would be more fit for performing such a duty, but it
+is not very easy to meet you, for you are always asleep, or in town. At
+least your servants so assure me. I have chosen this opportunity to see
+you. And yet this is a great happiness with which fortune favours me,
+for a couple of moments later I should have missed you.
+
+ER. Sir, do you desire something of me?
+
+CAR. I acquit myself, sir, of what I owe you; and come to you ... Excuse
+the boldness which inspires me, if...
+
+ER. Without so much ceremony, what have you to say to me?
+
+CAR. As the rank, wit, and generosity which every one extols in you...
+
+ER. Yes, I am very much extolled. Never mind that, sir.
+
+CAR. Sir, it is a vast difficulty when a man has to introduce himself;
+we should always be presented to the great by people who commend us in
+words, whose voice, being listened to, delivers with authority what may
+cause our slender merit to be known. In short, I could have wished that
+some persons well-informed could have told you, sir, what I am...
+
+ER. I see sufficiently, sir, what you are. Your manner of accosting me
+makes that clear.
+
+CAR. Yes, I am a man of learning charmed by your worth; not one of those
+learned men whose name ends simply in _us_. Nothing is so common as
+a name with a Latin termination. Those we dress in Greek have a much
+superior look; and in order to have one ending in _es_, I call
+myself Mr. Caritides.
+
+ER. Caritides be it. What have you to say?
+
+CAR. I wish, sir, to read you a petition, which I venture to beg of you
+to present to the King, as your position enables you to do.
+
+ER. Why, sir, you can present it yourself! ...
+
+CAR. It is true that the King grants that supreme favour; but, from the
+very excess of his rare kindness, so many villainous petitions, sir, are
+presented that they choke the good ones; the hope I entertain is that
+mine should be presented when his Majesty is alone.
+
+ER. Well, you can do it, and choose your own time.
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, the door-keepers are such terrible fellows! They treat men
+of learning like snobbs and butts; I can never get beyond the
+guard-room. The ill-treatment I am compelled to suffer would make me
+withdraw from court for ever, if I had not conceived the certain hope
+that you will be my Mecaeaenas with the King. Yes, your influence is to
+me a certain means ...
+
+ER. Well, then, give it me; I will present it.
+
+CAR. Here it is. But at least, hear it read.
+
+ER. No ...
+
+CAR. That you may be acquainted with it, sir, I beg.
+
+"TO THE KING.
+
+"_Sire,--Your most humble, most obedient, most faithful and most
+learned subject and servant, Caritides, a Frenchman by birth, a
+Greek_
+
+[Footnote: The original has _Grec_, a Greek. Can Caritides have
+wished to allude to the _graeaca fides_? _Grec_ means also a
+cheat at cards, and is said to owe its name to a certain Apoulos, a
+knight of Greek origin, who was caught in the very act of cheating at
+play in the latter days of Louis XIV.'s reign, even in the palace of the
+_grand monarque_.]
+
+_by profession, having considered the great and notable abuses which
+are perpetrated in the inscriptions on the signs of houses, shops,
+taverns, bowling-alleys, and other places in your good city of Paris;
+inasmuch as certain ignorant composers of the said inscriptions subvert,
+by a barbarous, pernicious and hateful spelling, every kind of sense and
+reason, without any regard for etymology, analogy, energy or allegory
+whatsoever, to the great scandal of the republic of letters, and of the
+French nation, which is degraded and dishonoured, by the said abuses and
+gross faults, in the eyes of strangers, and notably of the Germans,
+curious readers and inspectors of the said inscriptions..."
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion either to the reputation of the Germans
+as great drinkers, or as learned decipherers of all kinds of
+inscriptions.]
+
+ER. This petition is very long, and may very likely weary...
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, not a word could be cut out.
+
+ER. Finish quickly.
+
+CAR. (Continuing). "_Humbly petitions your Majesty to constitute, for
+the good of his state and the glory of his realm, an office of
+controller, supervisor, corrector, reviser and restorer in general of
+the said inscriptions; and with this office to honour your suppliant, as
+well in consideration of his rare and eminent erudition, as of the great
+and signal services which he has rendered to the state and to your
+Majesty, by making the anagram of your said Majesty in French, Latin,
+Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldean, Arabic_..."
+
+ER. (_Interrupting him_). Very good. Give it me quickly and retire:
+it shall be seen by the King; the thing is as good as done.
+
+CAR. Alas! sir, to show my petition is everything. If the King but see
+it, I am sure of my point; for as his justice is great in all things, he
+will never be able to refuse my prayer. For the rest, to raise your fame
+to the skies, give me your name and surname in writing, and I will make
+a poem, in which the first letters of your name shall appear at both
+ends of the lines, and in each half measure.
+
+ER. Yes, you shall have it to-morrow, Mr. Caritides. (_Alone_).
+Upon my word, such learned men are perfect asses. Another time I should
+have heartily laughed at his folly.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ORMIN, ERASTE.
+
+
+ORM. Though a matter of great consequence brings me here, I wished that
+man to leave before speaking to you.
+
+ER. Very well. But make haste; for I wish to be gone.
+
+ORM. I almost fancy that the man who has just left you has vastly
+annoyed you, sir, by his visit. He is a troublesome old man whose mind
+is not quite right, and for whom I have always some excuse ready to get
+rid of him. On the Mall, in the Luxembourg,
+
+[Footnote: The Mall was a promenade in Paris, shaded by trees, near the
+Arsenal.]
+
+[Footnote: The Luxembourg was in Moliere's time the most fashionable
+promenade of Paris.]
+
+and in the Tuileries he wearies people with his fancies; men like you
+should avoid the conversation of all those good-for-nothing pedants.
+For my part I have no fear of troubling you, since I am come, sir, to
+make your fortune.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). This is some alchymist: one of those creatures who
+have nothing, and are always promising you ever so much riches.
+(_Aloud_). Have you discovered that blessed stone, sir, which alone
+can enrich all the kings of the earth?
+
+ORM. Aha! what a funny idea! Heaven forbid, sir, that I should be one of
+those fools. I do not foster idle dreams; I bring you here sound words
+of advice which I would communicate, through you, to the King, and which
+I always carry about me, sealed up. None of those silly plans and vain
+chimeras which are dinned in the ears of our superintendents;
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion to the giver of the feast, Mons. Fouquet,
+_surintendant des finances_. See also page 299, note I.]
+
+none of your beggarly schemes which rise to no more than twenty or
+thirty millions; but one which, at the lowest reckoning, will give the
+King a round four hundred millions yearly, with ease, without risk or
+suspicion, without oppressing the nation in any way. In short, it is a
+scheme for an inconceivable profit, which will be found feasible at the
+first explanation. Yes, if only through you I can be encouraged ...
+
+ER. Well, we will talk of it. I am rather in a hurry.
+
+ORM. If you will promise to keep it secret, I will unfold to you this
+important scheme.
+
+ER. No, no; I do not wish to know your secret.
+
+ORM. Sir, I believe you are too discreet to divulge it, and I wish to
+communicate it to you frankly, in two words. I must see that none can
+hear us. (_After seeing that no one is listening, he approaches
+Eraste's ear_). This marvellous plan, of which I am the inventor, is...
+
+ER. A little farther off, sir, for a certain reason.
+
+ORM. You know, without any need of my telling you, the great profit
+which the King yearly receives from his seaports. Well, the plan of
+which no one has yet thought, and which is an easy matter, is to make
+all the coasts of France into famous ports. This would amount to vast
+sums; and if ...
+
+ER. The scheme is good, and will greatly please the King. Farewell. We
+shall see each other again.
+
+ORM. At all events assist me, for you are the first to whom I have
+spoken of it.
+
+ER. Yes, yes.
+
+ORM. If you would lend me a couple of pistoles, you could repay yourself
+out of the profits of the scheme ....
+
+ER. (_Gives money to Ormin_). Gladly. (_Alone_). Would to
+Heaven, that at such a price I could get rid of all who trouble me! How
+ill-timed their visit is! At last I think I may go. Will any one else
+come to detain me?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--FILINTE, ERASTE.
+
+
+FIL. Marquis, I have just heard strange tidings.
+
+ER. What?
+
+FIL. That some one has just now quarrelled with you.
+
+ER. With me?
+
+FIL. What is the use of dissimulation? I know on good authority that you
+have been called out; and, as your friend, I come, at all events, to
+offer you my services against all mankind.
+
+ER. I am obliged to you; but believe me you do me....
+
+FIL. You will not admit it; but you are going out without attendants.
+Stay in town, or go into the country, you shall go nowhere without my
+accompanying you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Oh, I shall go mad.
+
+FIL. Where is the use of hiding from me?
+
+ER. I swear to you, Marquis, that you have been deceived.
+
+FIL. It is no use denying it.
+
+ER. May Heaven smite me, if any dispute....
+
+FIL. Do you think I believe you?
+
+ER. Good Heaven, I tell you without concealment that....
+
+FIL. Do not think me such a dupe and simpleton.
+
+ER. Will you oblige me?
+
+FIL. No.
+
+ER. Leave me, I pray.
+
+FIL. Nothing of the sort, Marquis.
+
+ER. An assignation to-night at a certain place....
+
+FIL. I do not quit you. Wherever it be, I mean to follow you.
+
+ER. On my soul, since you mean me to have a quarrel, I agree to it, to
+satisfy your zeal. I shall be with you, who put me in a rage, and of
+whom I cannot get rid by fair means.
+
+FIL. That is a sorry way of receiving the service of a friend. But as I
+do you so ill an office, farewell. Finish what you have on hand without
+me.
+
+ER. You will be my friend when you leave me. (_Alone_). But see
+what misfortunes happen to me! They will have made me miss the hour
+appointed.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--DAMIS, L'EPINE, ERASTE, LA RIVIERE, _and his Companions_.
+
+
+DAM. (_Aside_). What! the rascal hopes to obtain her in spite of
+me! Ah! my just wrath shall know how to prevent him!
+
+ER. (_Aside_). I see some one there at Orphise's door. What! must
+there always be some obstacle to the passion she sanctions!
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). Yes, I have discovered that my niece, in spite
+of my care, is to receive Eraste in her room to-night, alone.
+
+LA R. (_To his companions_). What do I hear those people saying of
+our master? Let us approach safely, without betraying ourselves.
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). But before he has a chance of accomplishing
+his design, we must pierce his treacherous heart with a thousand blows.
+Go and fetch those whom I mentioned just now, and place them in ambush
+where I told you, so that at the name of Eraste they may be ready to
+avenge my honour, which his passion has the presumption to outrage; to
+break off the assignation which brings him here, and quench his guilty
+flame in his blood.
+
+LA R. (_Attacking Damis with his companions_). Before your fury can
+destroy him, wretch! you shall have to deal with us!
+
+ER. Though he would have killed me, honour urges me here to rescue the
+uncle of my mistress. (_To Damis_). I am on your side, Sir. (_He
+draws his sword and attacks La Riviere and his companions, whom he puts
+to flight_.)
+
+DAM. Heavens! By whose aid do I find myself saved from a certain death?
+To whom am I indebted for so rare a service?
+
+ER. (_Returning_). In serving you, I have done but an act of
+justice.
+
+DAM. Heavens. Can I believe my ears! Is this the hand of Eraste?
+
+ER. Yes, yes, Sir, it is I. Too happy that my hand has rescued you: too
+unhappy in having deserved your hatred.
+
+DAM. What! Eraste, whom I was resolved to have assassinated has just
+used his sword to defend me! Oh, this is too much; my heart is compelled
+to yield; whatever your love may have meditated to-night, this
+remarkable display of generosity ought to stifle all animosity. I blush
+for my crime, and blame my prejudice. My hatred has too long done you
+injustice! To show you openly I no longer entertain it, I unite you this
+very night to your love.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ORPHISE, DAMIS, ERASTE.
+
+
+ORPH. (_Entering with a silver candlestick in her hand_). Sir, what
+has happened that such a terrible disturbance....
+
+DAM. Niece, nothing but what is very agreeable, since, after having
+blamed, for a long time, your love for Eraste, I now give him to you for
+a husband. His arm has warded off the deadly thrust aimed at me; I
+desire that your hand reward him.
+
+ORPH. I owe everything to you; if, therefore, it is to pay him your
+debt. I consent, as he has saved your life.
+
+ER. My heart is so overwhelmed by this great miracle, that amidst this
+ecstasy, I doubt if I am awake.
+
+DAM. Let us celebrate the happy lot that awaits you; and let our violins
+put us in a joyful mood. (_As the violins strike up, there is a knock
+at the door_).
+
+ER. Who knocks so loud?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DAMIS, ORPHISE, ERASTE, L'EPINE.
+
+
+L'EP. Sir, here are masks, with kits and tabors.
+
+(_The masks enter, filling the stage_).
+
+ER. What! Bores for ever? Hulloa, guards, here. Turn out these rascals
+for me.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT III.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Swiss guards, with halberds, drive out all the troublesome masks, and
+then retire to make room for a dance of
+
+[Footnote: The origin of the introduction of the Swiss Guards
+(mercenaries) in the service of the French and other foreign powers may
+be ascribed to the fact that Switzerland itself, being too poor to
+maintain soldiers in time of peace, allowed them to serve other nations
+on condition of coming back immediately to their own cantons in time of
+war or invasion.
+
+It is particularly with France that Switzerland contracted treaties to
+furnish certain contingents in case of need. The first of these dates
+back as far as 1444 between the Dauphin, afterwards Charles VII., and
+the different cantons. This Act was renewed in 1453, and the number of
+soldiers to be furnished was fixed once for all, the minimum being
+6,000, and the maximum 16,000. The Helvetians, who until 1515 had always
+been faithful to their engagements, turned traitors in that year against
+Francis I., who defeated them at Marignan. But the good feeling was soon
+afterwards re-established, and a new treaty, almost similar to the
+former, restored the harmony between the two nations.
+
+Another document is extant, signed at Baden in 1553, by which the
+cantons bind themselves to furnish Henry II. with as many troops as he
+may want. It is particularly remarkable, inasmuch as it served as a
+basis for all subsequent ones until 1671. These conventions have not
+always been faithfully carried out, for the Swiss contracted engagements
+with other nations, notably with Spain, Naples, and Sardinia, and even
+with Portugal. At the commencement of the campaign of 1697, Louis XIV.
+had, notwithstanding all this, as many as 32,000 Swiss in his service,
+the highest number ever attained. The regulations for the foreign
+colonels and captains in their relations among themselves, and with the
+French Government, were not unlike those in force at present for the
+native soldiery in our Indian possessions. Towards the end of Louis
+XIV.'s reign the number decreased to 14,400, officers included; it rose
+in 1773 to 19,836, and during the wars of 1742-48. to 21,300. The ebb
+and flow of their numbers continued from that time until the Revolution
+of 1830, when they were finally abolished.
+
+They received a much higher pay than the national troops, and had
+besides this many other advantages, one of them being that the officers
+had in the army the next grade higher than that which they occupied in
+their own regiments; for instance, the colonel of a Swiss regiment had
+the rank of a major-general, and retired on the pay of a
+lieutenant-general, &c. They enjoyed the same privileges, with some
+slight modifications, wherever they served elsewhere.]
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Four shepherds and a shepherdess, who, in the opinion of all who saw it,
+concluded the entertainment with much grace.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+#13 in our series by Moliere
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+
+
+Title: The Bores
+
+Author: Moliere
+
+Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6680]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BORES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+LES FÂCHEUX.
+
+COMÉDIE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BORES.
+
+A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS.
+
+(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.)
+
+AUGUST 17TH, 1661.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY NOTICE.
+
+_The Bores_ is a character-comedy; but the peculiarities taken as
+the text of the play, instead of being confined to one or two of the
+leading personages, are exhibited in different forms by a succession of
+characters, introduced one after the other in rapid course, and
+disappearing after the brief performance of their rôles. We do not find
+an evolution of natural situations, proceeding from the harmonious
+conduct of two or three individuals, but rather a disjointed series of
+tableaux--little more than a collection of monologues strung together on
+a weak thread of explanatory comments, enunciated by an unwilling
+listener.
+
+The method is less artistic, if not less natural; less productive of
+situations, if capable of greater variety of illustrations. The
+circumstances under which Molière undertook to compose the play explain
+his resort to the weaker manner of analysis. The Superintendent-General
+of finance, [Footnote: In Sir James Stephen's _Lectures on the History
+of France_, vol. ii. page 22, I find: "Still further to centralize
+the fiscal economy of France, Philippe le Bel created a new ministry. At
+the head of it he placed an officer of high rank, entitled the
+Superintendent-General of Finance, and, in subordination to him, he
+appointed other officers designated as Treasurers."] Nicolas Fouquet
+desiring to entertain the King, Queen, and court at his mansion of
+Vaux-le-Vicomte, asked for a comedy at the hands of the Palais-Royal
+company, who had discovered the secret of pleasing the Grand Monarque.
+Molière had but a fortnight's notice; and he was expected, moreover, to
+accommodate his muse to various prescribed styles of entertainment.
+
+Fouquet wanted a cue for a dance by Beauchamp, for a picture by Lebrun,
+for stage devices by Torelli. Molière was equal to the emergency. Never,
+perhaps, was a literary work written to order so worthy of being
+preserved for future generations. Not only were the intermediate ballets
+made sufficiently elastic to give scope for the ingenuity of the poet's
+auxiliaries, but the written scenes themselves were admirably contrived
+to display all the varied talent of his troupe.
+
+The success of the piece on its first representation, which took place
+on the 17th of August, 1661, was unequivocal; and the King summoned the
+author before him in order personally to express his satisfaction. It is
+related that, the Marquis de Soyecourt passing by at the time, the King
+said to Molière, "There is an original character which you have not yet
+copied." The suggestion was enough. The result was that, at the next
+representation, Dorante the hunter, a new bore, took his place in the
+comedy.
+
+Louis XIV. thought he had discovered in Molière a convenient mouthpiece
+for his dislikes. The selfish king was no lover of the nobility, and was
+short-sighted enough not to perceive that the author's attacks on the
+nobles paved the way for doubts on the divine right of kings themselves.
+Hence he protected Molière, and entrusted to him the care of writing
+plays for his entertainments; the public did not, however, see _The
+Bores_ until the 4th of November of the same year; and then it met
+with great success.
+
+The bore is ubiquitous, on the stage as in everyday life. Horace painted
+him in his famous passage commencing _Ibam forte via Sacrâ_, and the
+French satirist, Regnier, has depicted him in his eighth satire.
+
+Molière had no doubt seen the Italian farce, "_Le Case svaliggiate
+ovvera gli Interrompimenti di Pantalone_," which appears to have
+directly provided him with the thread of his comedy. This is the gist of
+it. A girl, courted by Pantaloon, gives him a rendezvous in order to
+escape from his importunities; whilst a cunning knave sends across his
+path a medley of persons to delay his approach, and cause him to break
+his appointment. This delay, however, is about the only point of
+resemblance between the Italian play and the French comedy.
+
+There are some passages in Scarron's _Epîtres chagrines_ addressed
+to the Marshal d'Albret and M. d'Elbène, from which our author must have
+derived a certain amount of inspiration; for in these epistles the
+writer reviews the whole tribe of bores, in coarse but vigorous
+language.
+
+Molière dedicated _The Bores_ to Louis XIV. in the following words:
+
+
+SIRE,
+
+I am adding one scene to the Comedy, and a man who dedicates a book is a
+species of Bore insupportable enough. Your Majesty is better acquainted
+with this than any person in the kingdom: and this is not the first time
+that you have been exposed to the fury of Epistles Dedicatory. But
+though I follow the example of others, and put myself in the rank of
+those I have ridiculed; I dare, however, assure Your Majesty, that what
+I have done in this case is not so much to present You a book, as to
+have the opportunity of returning You thanks for the success of this
+Comedy. I owe, Sire, that success, which exceeded my expectations, not
+only to the glorious approbation with which Your Majesty honoured this
+piece at first, and which attracted so powerfully that of all the world;
+but also to the order, which You gave me, to add a _Bore_, of which
+Yourself had the goodness to give me the idea, and which was proved by
+everyone to be the finest part of the work. [Footnote: See Prefatory
+Memoir, page xxviii. ?] I must confess, Sire, I never did any thing with
+such ease and readiness, as that part, where I had Your Majesty's
+commands to work.
+
+The pleasure I had in obeying them, was to me more than _Apollo_
+and all the _Muses_; and by this I conceive what I should be able
+to execute in a complete Comedy, were I inspired by the same commands.
+Those who are born in an elevated rank, may propose to themselves the
+honour of serving Your Majesty in great Employments; but, for my part,
+all the glory I can aspire to, is to amuse You. [Footnote: In spite of
+all that has been said about Molière's passionate fondness for his
+profession, I imagine he must now and then have felt some slight, or
+suffered from some want of consideration. Hence perhaps the above
+sentence. Compare with this Shakespeare's hundred and eleventh sonnet:
+
+  "Oh! for my sake, do you with Fortune chide
+  The guilty goddess of my harmful deeds,
+  That did not better for my life provide
+  Than public means which public manners breeds.
+  Thence comes it that my name receives a brand;
+  And almost thence my nature is subdu'd
+  To what it works in, like the dyer's hand."]
+
+
+The ambition of my wishes is confined to this; and I think that, to
+contribute any thing to the diversion of her King, is, in some respects,
+not to be useless to France. Should I not succeed in this, it shall
+never be through want of zeal, or study; but only through a hapless
+destiny, which often accompanies the best intentions, and which, to a
+certainty, would be a most sensible affliction to SIRE, _Your_
+MAJESTY'S _most humble, most obedient, and most faithful Servant_,
+
+MOLIÈRE.
+
+
+In the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Molière, London,
+1732," the play of _The Bores_ is dedicated, under the name of
+_The Impertinents_, to the Right Honourable the Lord Carteret,
+[Footnote: John, Lord Carteret, born 22nd April, 1690, twice
+Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, was Secretary of State and head of the
+Ministry from February, 1742, until November 23, 1744, became Earl
+Granville that same year, on the death of his mother; was president of
+the Council in 1751, and died in 1763.] in the following words:
+
+
+MY LORD,
+
+It is by Custom grown into a sort of Privilege for Writers, of
+whatsoever Class, to attack Persons of Rank and Merit by these kind of
+Addresses. We conceive a certain Charm in Great and Favourite Names,
+which sooths our Reader, and prepossesses him in our Favour: We deem
+ourselves of Consequence, according to the Distinction of our Patron;
+and come in for our Share in the Reputation he bears in the World. Hence
+it is, MY LORD, that Persons of the greatest Worth are most expos'd to
+these Insults.
+
+For however usual and convenient this may be to a Writer, it must be
+confess'd, MY LORD, it may be some degree of Persecution to a
+_Patron_; Dedicators, as _Molière_ observes, being a Species
+of _Impertinents_, troublesome enough. Yet the Translator of this
+Piece hopes he may be rank'd among the more tolerable ones, in presuming
+to inscribe to Your LORDSHIP the _Facheux of Molière_ done into
+_English_; assuring himself that Your LORDSHIP will not think any
+thing this Author has writ unworthy of your Patronage; nor discourage
+even a weaker Attempt to make him more generally read and understood.
+
+Your LORDSHIP is well known, as an absolute Master, and generous Patron
+of Polite Letters; of those Works especially which discover a Moral, as
+well as Genius; and by a delicate Raillery laugh men out of their
+Follies and Vices: could the Translator, therefore, of this Piece come
+anything near the Original, it were assured of your Acceptance. He will
+not dare to arrogate any thing to himself on this Head, before so good a
+Judge as Your LORDSHIP: He hopes, however, it will appear that, where
+he seems too superstitious a Follower of his Author, 'twas not because
+he could not have taken more Latitude, and have given more Spirit; but
+to answer what he thinks the most essential part of a Translator, to
+lead the less knowing to the Letter; and after better Acquaintance,
+Genius will bring them to the Spirit.
+
+The Translator knows your LORDSHIP, and Himself too well to attempt Your
+Character, even though he should think this a proper occasion: The
+Scholar--the Genius--the Statesman--the Patriot--the Man of Honour and
+Humanity.--Were a Piece finish'd from these Out-lines, the whole World
+would agree in giving it Your LORDSHIP.
+
+But that requires a Hand--the Person, who presents This, thinks it
+sufficient to be indulg'd the Honour of subscribing himself
+
+_My_ LORD, _Your Lordship's most devoted, most obedient, humble
+servant,_
+
+THE TRANSLATOR.
+
+
+Thomas Shadwell, whom Dryden flagellates in his _Mac-Flecknoe_, and
+in the second part of _Absalom and Achitophel_, and whom Pope
+mentions in his _Dunciad_, wrote _The Sullen Lovers, or the
+Impertinents_, which was first performed in 1668 at the Duke of
+York's Theatre, by their Majesties' Servants.
+
+This play is a working up of _The Bores_ and _The
+Misanthrope_, with two scenes from _The Forced Marriage_, and a
+reminiscence from _The Love-Tiff_. It is dedicated to the "Thrice
+Noble, High and Puissant Prince William, Duke, Marquis, and Earl of
+Newcastle," because all Men, who pretend either to Sword or Pen, ought
+"to shelter themselves under Your Grace's Protection." Another reason
+Shadwell gives for this dedication is in order "to rescue this (play)
+from the bloody Hands of the Criticks, who will not dare to use it
+roughly, when they see Your Grace's Name in the beginning." He also
+states, that "the first Hint I received was from the Report of a Play of
+Molière's of three Acts, called _Les Fascheux_, upon which I wrote
+a great part of this before I read that." He borrowed, after reading it,
+the first scene in the second act, and Molière's story of Piquet, which
+he translated into Backgammon, and says, "that he who makes a common
+practice of stealing other men's wit, would if he could with the same
+safety, steal anything else." Shadwell mentions, however, nothing of
+borrowing from _The Misanthrope_ and _The Forced Marriage_.
+The preface was, besides political difference, the chief cause of the
+quarrel between Shadwell and Dryden; for in it the former defends Ben
+Jonson against the latter, and mentions that--"I have known some of late
+so insolent to say that Ben Jonson wrote his best playes without wit,
+imagining that all the wit playes consisted in bringing two persons upon
+the stage to break jest, and to bob one another, which they call
+repartie." The original edition of _The Sullen Lovers_ is partly in
+blank verse; but, in the first collected edition of Shadwell's works,
+published by his son in 1720, it is printed in prose. Stanford, "a
+morose, melancholy man, tormented beyond measure with the impertinence
+of people, and resolved to leave the world to be quit of them" is a
+combination of Alceste in _The Misanthrope_, and Éraste in _The
+Bores_; Lovel, "an airy young gentleman, friend to Stanford, one that
+is pleased with, and laughs at, the impertinents; and that which is the
+other's torment, is his recreation," is Philinte of _The
+Misanthrope_; Emilia and Carolina appear to be Célimène and Eliante;
+whilst Lady Vaine is an exaggerated Arsinoé of the same play. Sir
+Positive At-all, "a foolish knight that pretends to understand
+everything in the world, and will suffer no man to understand anything
+in his Company, so foolishly positive, that he will never be convinced
+of an error, though never so gross," is a very good character, and an
+epitome of all the Bores into one.
+
+The prologue of _The Sullen Lovers_ begins thus:--
+
+  "How popular are Poets now-a-days!
+  Who can more Men at their first summons raise,
+  Than many a wealthy home-bred Gentleman,
+  By all his Interest in his Country can.
+  They raise their Friends; but in one Day arise
+  'Gainst one poor Poet all these Enemies."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+Never was any Dramatic performance so hurried as this; and it is a
+thing, I believe, quite new, to have a comedy planned, finished, got up,
+and played in a fortnight. I do not say this to boast of an
+_impromptu_, or to pretend to any reputation on that account: but
+only to prevent certain people, who might object that I have not
+introduced here all the species of Bores who are to be found. I know
+that the number of them is great, both at the Court and in the City, and
+that, without episodes, I might have composed a comedy of five acts and
+still have had matter to spare. But in the little time allowed me, it
+was impossible to execute any great design, or to study much the choice
+of my characters, or the disposition of my subject. I therefore confined
+myself to touching only upon a small number of Bores; and I took those
+which first presented themselves to my mind, and which I thought the
+best fitted for amusing the august personages before whom this play was
+to appear; and, to unite all these things together speedily, I made use
+of the first plot I could find. It is not, at present, my intention to
+examine whether the whole might not have been better, and whether all
+those who were diverted with it laughed according to rule. The time may
+come when I may print my remarks upon the pieces I have written: and I
+do not despair letting the world see that, like a grand author, I can
+quote Aristotle and Horace. In expectation of this examination, which
+perhaps may never take place, I leave the decision of this affair to the
+multitude, and I look upon it as equally difficult to oppose a work
+which the public approves, as it is to defend one which it condemns.
+
+There is no one who does not know for what time of rejoicing the piece
+was composed; and that _fete_ made so much noise, that it is not
+necessary to speak of it [Footnote: _The Bores_, according to the
+Preface, planned, finished, got up, and played in a fortnight, was acted
+amidst other festivities, first at Vaux, the seat of Monsieur Fouquet,
+Superintendent of Finances, the 17th of August, 1661, in the presence of
+the King and the whole Court, with the exception of the Queen. Three
+weeks later Fouquet was arrested, and finally condemned to be shut up in
+prison, where he died in 1672. It was not till November, 1661, that
+_The Bores_ was played in Paris.] but it will not be amiss to say a
+word or two of the ornaments which have been mixed with the Comedy.
+
+The design was also to give a ballet; and as there was only a small
+number of first-rate dancers, it was necessary to separate the
+_entrées_ [Footnote: See Prefatory Memoir, page xxx., note 12] of
+this ballet, and to interpolate them with the Acts of the Play, so that
+these intervals might give time to the same dancers to appear in
+different dresses; also to avoid breaking the thread of the piece by
+these interludes, it was deemed advisable to weave the ballet in the
+best manner one could into the subject, and make but one thing of it and
+the play. But as the time was exceedingly short, and the whole was not
+entirely regulated by the same person, there may be found, perhaps, some
+parts of the ballet which do not enter so naturally into the play as
+others do. Be that as it may, this is a medley new upon our stage;
+although one might find some authorities in antiquity: but as every one
+thought it agreeable, it may serve as a specimen for other things which
+may be concerted more at leisure.
+
+Immediately upon the curtain rising, one of the actors, whom you may
+suppose to be myself, appeared on the stage in an ordinary dress, and
+addressing himself to the King, with the look of a man surprised, made
+excuses in great disorder, for being there alone, and wanting both time
+and actors to give his Majesty the diversion he seemed to expect; at the
+same time in the midst of twenty natural cascades, a large shell was
+disclosed, which every one saw: and the agreeable Naiad who appeared in
+it, advanced to the front of the stage, and with an heroic air
+pronounced the following verses which Mr. Pellison had made, and which
+served as a Prologue.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+(_The Theatre represents a garden adorned with Termini and several
+fountains. A Naiad coming out of the water in a shell.)
+
+  Mortals, from Grots profound I visit you,
+  Gallia's great Monarch in these Scenes to view;
+  Shall Earth's wide Circuit, or the wider Seas,
+  Produce some Novel Sight your Prince to please;
+  Speak He, or wish: to him nought can be hard,
+  Whom as a living Miracle you all regard.
+  Fertile in Miracles, his Reign demands
+  Wonders at universal Nature's Hands,
+  Sage, young, victorious, valiant, and august,
+  Mild as severe, and powerful as he's just,
+  His Passions, and his Foes alike to foil,
+  And noblest Pleasures join to noblest Toil;
+  His righteous Projects ne'er to misapply,
+  Hear and see all, and act incessantly:
+  He who can this, can all; he needs but dare,
+  And Heaven in nothing will refuse his Prayer.
+  Let Lewis but command, these Bounds shall move,
+  And trees grow vocal as Dodona's Grove.
+  Ye Nymphs and Demi-Gods, whose Presence fills
+  Their sacred Trunks, come forth; so Lewis wills;
+  To please him be our task; I lead the way,
+  Quit now your ancient Forms but for a Day,
+  With borrow'd Shape cheat the Spectator's Eye,
+  And to Theatric Art yourselves apply.
+
+(_Several Dryads, accompanied by Fawns and Satyrs, come forth out of
+the Trees and Termini_.)
+
+  Hence Royal Cares, hence anxious Application,
+  (His fav'rite Work) to bless a happy Nation:
+  His lofty Mind permit him to unbend,
+  And to a short Diversion condescend;
+  The Morn shall see him with redoubled Force,
+  Resume the Burthen and pursue his Course,
+  Give Force to Laws, his Royal Bounties share,
+  Wisely prevent our Wishes with his Care.
+  Contending Lands to Union firm dispose,
+  And lose his own to fix the World's Repose.
+  But now, let all conspire to ease the Pressure
+  Of Royalty, by elegance of Pleasure.
+  Impertinents, avant; nor come in sight,
+  Unless to give him more supreme Delight.
+
+
+[Footnote: The Naiad was represented by Madeleine Beéjart, even then
+good-looking, though she was more than forty years old. The verses are
+taken from the eighth volume of the "Select Comedies of M. de Molière in
+French and English, London, 1732," and as fulsome as they well can be.
+The English translation, which is not mine, fairly represents the
+official nonsense of the original.]
+
+(_The Naiad brings with her, for the Play, one part of the Persons she
+has summoned to appear, whilst the rest begin a Dance to the sound of
+Hautboys, accompanied by Violins_.)
+
+
+
+
+DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
+
+
+ÉRASTE, _in love with Orphise_.
+
+DAMIS, _guardian to Orphise_.
+
+ALCIDOR, _a bore_.
+
+LISANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCANDRE, _a bore_.
+
+ALCIPPE, _a bore_.
+
+DORANTE, _a bore_.
+
+CARITIDÈS, _a bore_.
+
+ORMIN, _a bore_.
+
+FILINTE, _a bore_.
+
+LA MONTAGNE, _servant to Éraste_.
+
+L'ÉPINE, _servant to Damis_.
+
+LA RIVIERE _and_ TWO COMRADES.
+
+ORPHISE, _in love with Éraste_.
+
+ORANTE, _a female bore_.
+
+CLIMÈNE, _a female bore_.
+
+_Scene_.--PARIS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Footnote: Molière himself played probably the parts of Lisandre the
+dancer, Alcandre the duellist, or Alcippe the gambler, and perhaps all
+three, with some slight changes in the dress. He also acted Caritidès
+the pedant, and Dorante the lover of the chase. In the inventory taken
+after Molière's death we find: "A dress for the Marquis of the
+_Fâcheux_, consisting in a pair of breeches very large, and
+fastened below with ribbands, (_rhingrave_), made of common silk,
+blue and gold-coloured stripes, with plenty of flesh-coloured and yellow
+trimmings, with Colbertine, a doublet of Colbertine cloth trimmed with
+flame-coloured ribbands, silk stockings and garters." The dress of
+Caritidès in the same play, "cloak and breeches of cloth, with picked
+trimmings, and a slashed doublet." Dorante's dress was probably "a
+hunting-coat, sword and belt; the above-mentioned hunting-coat
+ornamented with fine silver lace, also a pair of stag-hunting gloves,
+and a pair of long stockings (_bas a botter_) of yellow cloth." The
+original inventory, given by M. Soulié, has _toile Colbertine_, for
+"Colbertine cloth." I found this word in Webster's Dictionary described
+from _The Fop's Dictionary of 1690_ as "A lace resembling net-work,
+the fabric of Mons. Colbert, superintendent of the French king's
+manufactures." In Congreve's _The Way of the World_, Lady Wishfort,
+quarrelling with her woman Foible (Act v., Scene i), says to her, among
+other insults: "Go, hang out an old Frisoneer gorget, with a yard of
+yellow colberteen again!"]
+
+
+
+
+THE BORES (_LES FÁCHEUX._)
+
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Good Heavens! under what star am I born, to be perpetually worried
+by bores? It seems that fate throws them in my way everywhere; each day
+I discover some new specimen. But there is nothing to equal my bore of
+to-day. I thought I should never get rid of him; a hundred times I
+cursed the harmless desire, which seized me at dinner time, to see the
+play, where, thinking to amuse myself, I unhappily was sorely punished
+for my sins. I must tell you how it happened, for I cannot yet think
+about it coolly. I was on the stage,
+
+[Footnote: It was the custom for young men of fashion to seat themselves
+upon the stage (see Vol. I.. Prefatory Memoir, page 26, note 7). They
+often crowded it to such an extent, that it was difficult for the actors
+to move. This custom was abolished only in 1759, when the Count de
+Lauraguais paid the comedians a considerable sum of money, on the
+condition of not allowing any stranger upon the stage.]
+
+in a mood to listen to the piece which I had heard praised by so many.
+The actors began; everyone kept silence; when with a good deal of noise
+and in a ridiculous manner, a man with large rolls entered abruptly,
+crying out "Hulloa, there, a seat directly!" and, disturbing the
+audience with his uproar, interrupted the play in its finest passage.
+Heavens! will Frenchmen, altho' so often corrected, never behave
+themselves like men of common-sense? Must we, in a public theatre, show
+ourselves with our worst faults, and so confirm, by our foolish
+outbursts what our neighbours everywhere say of us? Thus I spoke; and
+whilst I was shrugging my shoulders, the actors attempted to continue
+their parts. But the man made a fresh disturbance in seating himself,
+and again crossing the stage with long strides, although he might have
+been quite comfortable at the wings, he planted his chair full in front,
+and, defying the audience by his broad back, hid the actors from
+three-fourths of the pit. A murmur arose, at which anyone else would
+have felt ashamed; but he, firm and resolute, took no notice of it, and
+would have remained just as he had placed himself, if, to my misfortune,
+he had not cast his eyes on me. "Ah, Marquis!" he said, taking a seat
+near me, "how dost thou do? Let me embrace thee." Immediately my face
+was covered with blushes that people should see I was acquainted with
+such a giddy fellow. I was but slightly known to him for all that: but
+so it is with these men, who assume an acquaintance on nothing, whose
+embraces we are obliged to endure when we meet them, and who are so
+familiar with us as to thou and thee us. He began by asking me a hundred
+frivolous questions, raising his voice higher than the actors.
+Everyone was cursing him; and in order to check him I said, "I should
+like to listen to the play." "Hast thou not seen it, Marquis? Oh, on my
+soul, I think it very funny, and I am no fool in these matters. I know
+the canons of perfection, and Corneille reads to me all that he writes."
+Thereupon he gave me a summary of the piece, informing me scene after
+scene of what was about to happen; and when we came to any lines which
+he knew by heart, he recited them aloud before the actor could say them.
+It was in vain for me to resist; he continued his recitations, and
+towards the end rose a good while before the rest. For these fashionable
+fellows, in order to behave gallantly, especially avoid listening to the
+conclusion. I thanked Heaven, and naturally thought that, with the
+comedy, my misery was ended. But as though this were too good to be
+expected, my gentleman fastened on me again, recounted his exploits, his
+uncommon virtues, spoke of his horses, of his love-affairs, of his
+influence at court, and heartily offered me his services. I politely
+bowed my thanks, all the time devising some way of escape. But he,
+seeing me eager to depart, said, "Let us leave; everyone is gone." And
+when we were outside, he prevented my going away, by saying, "Marquis,
+let us go to the Cours to show my carriage."
+
+[Footnote: The Cours is that part of the Champs-Elysées called _le
+Cours-la-Reine_; because Maria de Medici, the wife of Henry IV., had
+trees planted there. As the theatre finished about seven o'clock in the
+evening, it was not too late to show a carriage.]
+
+"It is very well built, and more than one Duke and Peer has ordered a
+similar one from my coach-maker." I thanked him, and the better to get
+off, told him that I was about to give a little entertainment. "Ah, on
+my life, I shall join it, as one of your friends, and give the go-by
+to the Marshal, to whom I was engaged." "My banquet," I said, "is too
+slight for gentlemen of your rank." "Nay," he replied, "I am a man of
+no ceremony, and I go simply to have a chat with thee; I vow, I am tired
+of grand entertainments." "But if you are expected, you will give
+offence, if you stay away." "Thou art joking, Marquis! We all know each
+other; I pass my time with thee much more pleasantly." I was chiding
+myself, sad and perplexed at heart at the unlucky result of my
+excuse, and knew not what to do next to get rid of such a mortal
+annoyance, when a splendidly built coach, crowded with footmen before
+and behind, stopped in front of us with a great clatter; from which
+leaped forth a young man gorgeously dressed; and my bore and he,
+hastening to embrace each other, surprised the passers-by with their
+furious encounter. Whilst both were plunged in these fits of civilities,
+I quietly made my exit without a word; not before I had long groaned
+under such a martyrdom, cursing this bore whose obstinate persistence
+kept me from the appointment which had been made with me here.
+
+LA M. These annoyances are mingled with the pleasures of life. All goes
+not, sir, exactly as we wish it. Heaven wills that here below everyone
+should meet bores; without that, men would be too happy.
+
+ER. But of all my bores the greatest is Damis, guardian of her whom I
+adore, who dashes every hope she raises, and has brought it to pass that
+she dares not see me in his presence. I fear I have already passed the
+hour agreed on; it is in this walk that Orphise promised to be.
+
+LA M. The time of an appointment has generally some latitude, and is not
+limited to a second.
+
+ER. True; but I tremble; my great passion makes out of nothing a crime
+against her whom I love.
+
+LA M. If this perfect love, which you manifest so well, makes out of
+nothing a great crime against her whom you love; the pure flame which
+her heart feels for you on the other hand converts all your crimes into
+nothing.
+
+ER. But, in good earnest, do you believe that I am loved by her?
+
+LA M. What! do you still doubt a love that has been tried?
+
+ER. Ah, it is with difficulty that a heart that truly loves has complete
+confidence in such a matter. It fears to flatter itself; and, amidst its
+various cares, what it most wishes is what it least believes. But let us
+endeavour to discover the delightful creature.
+
+LA M. Sir, your necktie is loosened in front.
+
+ER. No matter.
+
+LA M. Let me adjust it, if you please.
+
+ER. Ugh, you are choking me, blockhead; let it be as it is.
+
+LA M. Let me just comb...
+
+ER. Was there ever such stupidity! You have almost taken off my ear with
+a tooth of the comb.
+
+[Footnote: The servants had always a comb about them to arrange the wigs
+of their masters, whilst the latter thought it fashionable to comb and
+arrange their hair in public (see _The Pretentious Young Ladies_).]
+
+LA M. Your rolls...
+
+ER. Leave them; you are too particular.
+
+LA M. They are quite rumpled.
+
+ER. I wish them to be so.
+
+LA M. At least allow me, as a special favour, to brush your hat,
+which is covered with dust.
+
+ER. Brush, then, since it must be so.
+
+LA M. Will you wear it like that?
+
+ER. Good Heavens, make haste!
+
+LA M. It would be a shame.
+
+ER. _(After waiting_). That is enough.
+
+LA M. Have a little patience.
+
+ER. He will be the death of me!
+
+LA M. Where could you get all this dirt?
+
+ER. Do you intend to keep that hat forever?
+
+LA M. It is finished.
+
+ER. Give it me, then.
+
+LA M. (_Letting the hat fall_). Ah!
+
+ER. There it is on the ground. I am not much the better for all your
+brushing! Plague take you!
+
+LA M. Let me give it a couple of rubs to take off...
+
+ER. You shall not. The deuce take every servant who dogs your heels, who
+wearies his master, and does nothing but annoy him by wanting to set
+himself up as indispensable!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ORPHISE, ALCIDOR, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+(_Orphise passes at the foot of the stage; Alcidor holds her hand._)
+
+ER. But do I not see Orphise? Yes, it is she who comes. Whither goeth
+she so fast, and what man is that who holds her hand? (_He bows to her
+as she passes, and she turns her head another way_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. What! She sees me here before her, and she passes by, pretending not
+to know me! What can I think? What do you say? Speak if you will.
+
+LA M. Sir, I say nothing, lest I bore you.
+
+ER. And so indeed you do, if you say nothing to me whilst I suffer such
+a cruel martyrdom. Give me some answer; I am quite dejected. What am I
+to think? Say, what do you think of it? Tell me your opinion.
+
+LA M. Sir, I desire to hold my tongue, and not to set up for being
+indispensable.
+
+ER. Hang the impertinent fellow! Go and follow them; see what becomes of
+them, and do not quit them.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I follow at a distance?
+
+ER. Yes.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Without their seeing me, or letting it appear
+that I was sent after them?
+
+ER. No, you will do much better to let them know that you follow them by
+my express orders.
+
+LA M. (_Returning_). Shall I find you here?
+
+ER. Plague take you. I declare you are the biggest bore in the world!
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Ah, how anxious I feel; how I wish I had missed this fatal appointment!
+I thought I should find everything favourable; and, instead of that, my
+heart is tortured.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--LISANDRE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+LIS. I recognized you under these trees from a distance, dear Marquis;
+and I came to you at once. As one of my friends, I must sing you a
+certain air which I have made for a little Couranto, which pleases all
+the connoisseurs at court, and to which more than a score have already
+written words.
+
+[Footnote: See Vol. I., page 164, note 14.]
+
+I have wealth, birth, a tolerable employment, and am of some consequence
+in France; but I would not have failed, for all I am worth, to compose
+this air which I am going to let you hear. (_He tries his voice_).
+La, la; hum, hum; listen attentively, I beg. (_he sings an air of a
+Couranto_). Is it not fine?
+
+ER. Ah!
+
+LIS. This close is pretty. (_He sings the close over again four or
+five times successively_). How do you like it?
+
+ER. Very fine, indeed.
+
+LIS. The steps which I have arranged are no less pleasing, and the
+figure in particular is wonderfully graceful. (_He sings the words,
+talks, and dances at the same time; and makes Éraste perform the lady's
+steps_). Stay, the gen-man crosses thus; then the lady crosses again:
+together: then they separate, and the lady comes there. Do you observe
+that little touch of a faint? This fleuret? These coupés running after
+the fair one.
+
+[Footnote: A fleuret was an old step in dancing formed of two half
+coupées and two steps on the point of the toes.]
+
+[Footnote: A coupé is a movement in dancing, when one leg is a little
+bent, and raised from the ground, and with the other a motion is made
+forward.]
+
+Back to back: face to face, pressing up close to her. (_After
+finishing_). What do you think of it, Marquis?
+
+ER. All those steps are fine.
+
+LIS. For my part, I would not give a fig for your ballet-masters.
+
+ER. Evidently.
+
+LIS. And the steps then?
+
+ER. Are wonderful in every particular.
+
+LIS. Shall I teach you them, for friendship's sake?
+
+ER. To tell the truth, just now I am somewhat disturbed ....
+
+LIS. Well, then, it shall be when you please. If I had those new words
+about me, we would read them together, and see which were the prettiest.
+
+ER. Another time.
+
+LIS. Farewell. My dearest Baptiste has not seen my Couranto; I am going
+to look for him. We always agree about the tunes; I shall ask him to
+score it.
+
+(_Exit, still singing_.)
+
+[Footnote: Jean Baptiste Lulli had been appointed, in the month of May
+of 1661, the same year that _The Bores_ was first played,
+_Surintendant et Compositeur de la musique de la chambre du Roi_.]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heavens! must we be compelled daily to endure a hundred fools, because
+they are men of rank, and must we, in our politeness, demean ourselves
+so often to applaud, when they annoy us?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+LA M. Sir, Orphise is alone, and is coming this way.
+
+ER. Ah, I feel myself greatly disturbed! I still love the cruel fair
+one, and my reason bids me hate her.
+
+LA M. Sir, your reason knows not what it would be at, nor yet what power
+a mistress has over a man's heart. Whatever just cause we may have to be
+angry with a fair lady, she can set many things to rights by a single
+word.
+
+ER. Alas, I must confess it; the sight of her inspires me with respect
+instead of with anger.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ORPH. Your countenance seems to me anything but cheerful. Can it be my
+presence, Éraste, which annoys you? What is the matter? What is amiss?
+What makes you heave those sighs at my appearance?
+
+ER. Alas! can you ask me, cruel one, what makes me so sad, and what will
+kill me? Is it not malicious to feign ignorance of what you have done to
+me? The gentleman whose conversation made you pass me just now...
+
+ORPH. (_Laughing_). Does that disturb you?
+
+ER. Do, cruel one, anew insult my misfortune. Certainly, it ill becomes
+you to jeer at my grief, and, by outraging my feelings, ungrateful
+woman, to take advantage of my weakness for you.
+
+ORPH. I really must laugh, and declare that you are very silly to
+trouble yourself thus. The man of whom you speak, far from being able to
+please me, is a bore of whom I have succeeded in ridding myself; one of
+those troublesome and officious fools who will not suffer a lady to be
+anywhere alone, but come up at once, with soft speech, offering you a
+hand against which one rebels. I pretended to be going away, in order to
+hide my intention, and he gave me his hand as far as my coach. I soon
+got rid of him in that way, and returned by another gate to come to you.
+
+ER. Orphise, can I believe what you say? And is your heart really true
+to me?
+
+ORPH. You are most kind to speak thus, when I justify myself against
+your frivolous complaints. I am still wonderfully simple, and my foolish
+kindness...
+
+ER. Ah! too severe beauty, do not be angry. Being under your sway, I
+will implicitly believe whatever you are kind enough to tell me. Deceive
+your hapless lover if you will; I shall respect you to the last gasp.
+Abuse my love, refuse me yours, show me another lover triumphant; yes, I
+will endure everything for your divine charms. I shall die, but even
+then I will not complain.
+
+ORPH. As such sentiments rule your heart, I shall know, on my side ...
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IX.--ALCANDRE, ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. (_To Orphise_). Marquis, one word. Madame, I pray you to
+pardon me, if I am indiscreet in venturing, before you, to speak with
+him privately. (_Exit Orphise_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE X.--ALCANDRE, ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ALC. I have a difficulty, Marquis, in making my request; but a fellow
+has just insulted me, and I earnestly wish, not to be behind-hand with
+him, that you would at once go and carry him a challenge from me. You
+know that in a like case I should joyfully repay you in the same coin.
+
+ER. (_After a brief silence_). I have no desire to boast, but I was
+a soldier before I was a courtier. I served fourteen years, and I think
+I may fairly refrain from such a step with propriety, not fearing that
+the refusal of my sword can be imputed to cowardice. A duel puts one in
+an awkward light, and our King is not the mere shadow of a monarch. He
+knows how to make the highest in the state obey him, and I think that he
+acts like a wise Prince. When he needs my service, I have courage enough
+to perform it; but I have none to displease him. His commands are a
+supreme law to me; seek some one else to disobey him. I speak to you,
+Viscount, with entire frankness; in every other matter I am at your
+service. Farewell.
+
+[Footnote: During his long reign, Louis XIV. tried to put a stop to
+duelling; and, though he did not wholly succeed, he prevented the
+seconds from participating in the fight,--a custom very general before
+his rule, and to which Éraste alludes in saying that he does not "fear
+that the refusal of his (my) sword can be imputed to cowardice."]
+
+
+
+
+SCENE XI.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. To the deuce with these bores, fifty times over! Where, now, has my
+beloved gone to?
+
+LA M. I know not.
+
+ER. Go and search everywhere till you find her. I shall await you in
+this walk.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT I.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Players at Mall, crying out "Ware!" compel Éraste to draw back. After
+the players at Mall have finished, Éraste returns to wait for Orphise.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Inquisitive folk advance, turning round him to see who he is, and cause
+him again to retire for a little while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT II.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Are the bores gone at last? I think they rain here on every side. The
+more I flee from them, the more I light on them; and to add to my
+uneasiness, I cannot find her whom I wish to find. The thunder and rain
+have soon passed over, and have not dispersed the fashionable company.
+Would to Heaven that those gifts which it showered upon us, had driven
+away all the people who weary me! The sun sinks fast; I am surprised
+that my servant has not yet returned.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--ALCIPPE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ALC. Good day to you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). How now! Is my passion always to be turned aside?
+
+ALC. Console me, Marquis, in respect of a wonderful game of piquet which
+I lost yesterday to a certain Saint-Bouvain, to whom I could have given
+fifteen points and the deal. It was a desperate blow, which has been too
+much for me since yesterday, and would make me wish all players at the
+deuce; a blow, I assure you, enough to make me hang myself in public.--I
+wanted only two tricks, whilst the other wanted a piquet. I dealt, he
+takes six, and asks for another deal. I, having a little of everything,
+refuse. I had the ace of clubs (fancy my bad luck!) the ace, king,
+knave, ten and eight of hearts, and as I wanted to make the point, threw
+away king and queen of diamonds, ten and queen of spades. I had five
+hearts in hand, and took up the queen, which just made me a high
+sequence of five. But my gentleman, to my extreme surprise, lays down on
+the table a sequence of six low diamonds, together with the ace. I had
+thrown away king and queen of the same colour. But as he wanted a
+piquet, I got the better of my fear, and was confident at least of
+making two tricks. Besides the seven diamonds he had four spades, and
+playing the smallest of them, put me in the predicament of not knowing
+which of my two aces to keep. I threw away, rightly as I thought, the
+ace of hearts; but he had discarded four clubs, and I found myself made
+_Capot_ by a six of hearts, unable, from sheer vexation, to say a
+single word.
+
+[Footnote: In the seventeenth century, piquet was not played with
+thirty-two, but with thirty-six, cards; the sixes, which are now thrown
+away, remained then in the pack. Every player received twelve cards, and
+twelve remained on the table. He who had to play first could throw away
+seven or eight cards, the dealer four or five, and both might take fresh
+ones from those that were on the table. A trick counted only when taken
+with one of the court-cards, or a ten.
+
+Saint-Bouvain, after having taken up his cards, had in hand six small
+diamonds with the ace, which counted 7, a sequence of six diamonds from
+the six to the knave counted 16, thus together 23, before he began to
+play. With his seven diamonds he made seven tricks, but only counted 3,
+for those made by the ace, knave, and ten; this gave him 26. Besides his
+seven diamonds he had four spades, most likely the ace, king, knave, and
+a little one, and a six of hearts; though he made all the tricks he only
+counted 3, which gave him 29. But as Alcippe had not made a single
+trick, he was _capot_, which gave Saint-Bouvain 40; this with the
+29 he made before, brought the total up to 69. As the latter only wanted
+a _piquet_, that is 60,--which is when a player makes thirty in a
+game, to which an additional thirty are then added, Saint-Bouvain won
+the game. Alcippe does not, however, state what other cards he had in
+his hand at the moment the play began besides the ace of clubs and a
+high sequence of five hearts, as well as the eight of the same colour.]
+
+By Heaven, account to me for this frightful piece of luck. Could it be
+credited, without having seen it?
+
+[Footnote: Compare with Molière's description of the game of piquet
+Pope's poetical history of the game of Ombre in the third Canto of
+_The Rape of the Lock._]
+
+ER. It is in play that luck is mostly seen.
+
+ALC. 'Sdeath, you shall judge for yourself if I am wrong, and if it is
+without cause that this accident enrages me. For here are our two hands,
+which I carry about me on purpose. Stay, here is my hand, as I told you;
+and here ...
+
+ER. I understood everything from your description, and admit that you
+have a good cause to be enraged. But I must leave you on certain
+business. Farewell. But take comfort in your misfortune.
+
+ALC. Who; I? I shall always have that luck on my mind; it is worse than
+a thunderbolt to me. I mean to shew it to all the world. (_He retires
+and on the point of returning, says meditatively_) A six of hearts!
+two points.
+
+ER. Where in the world are we? Go where we will, we see nothing but
+fools.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. Ha! how long you have been, and how you have made me suffer.
+
+LA M. Sir, I could not make greater haste.
+
+ER. But at length do you bring me some news?
+
+LA M. Doubtless; and by express command, from her you love, I have
+something to tell you.
+
+ER. What? Already my heart yearns for the message. Speak!
+
+LA M. Do you wish to know what it is?
+
+ER. Yes; speak quickly.
+
+LA M. Sir, pray wait. I have almost run myself out of breath.
+
+ER. Do you find any pleasure in keeping me in suspense?
+
+LA M. Since you wish to know at once the orders which I have received
+from this charming person, I will tell you.... Upon my word, without
+boasting of my zeal, I went a great way to find the lady; and if...
+
+ER. Hang your digressions!
+
+LA M. Fie! you should somewhat moderate your passion; and Seneca...
+
+ER. Seneca is a fool in your mouth, since he tells me nothing of all
+that concerns me. Tell me your message at once.
+
+LA M. To satisfy you, Orphise ... An insect has got among your hair.
+
+ER. Let it alone.
+
+LA M. This lovely one sends you word ...
+
+ER. What?
+
+LA M. Guess.
+
+ER. Are you aware that I am in no laughing mood?
+
+LA M. Her message is, that you are to remain in this place, that in a
+short time you shall see her here, when she has got rid of some
+country-ladies, who greatly bore all people at court.
+
+ER. Let us, then stay in the place she has selected. But since this
+message affords me some leisure, let me muse a little. (_Exit La
+Montagne_). I propose to write for her some verses to an air which I
+know she likes.
+
+(_He walks up and down the stage in a reverie_).
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--ORANTE, CLIMÈNE, ÉRASTE (_at the side of the stage, unseen_.)
+
+
+OR. Everyone will be of my opinion.
+
+CL. Do you think you will carry your point by obstinacy?
+
+OR. I think my reasons better than yours.
+
+CL. I wish some one could hear both.
+
+OR. I see a gentleman here who is not ignorant; he will be able to judge
+of our dispute. Marquis, a word, I beg of you. Allow us to ask you to
+decide in a quarrel between us two; we had a discussion arising from our
+different opinions, as to what may distinguish the most perfect lovers.
+
+ER. That is a question difficult to settle; you had best look for a more
+skilful judge.
+
+OR. No: you speak to no purpose. Your wit is much commended; and we know
+you. We know that everyone, with justice, gives you the character of a...
+
+ER. Oh, I beseech you ...
+
+OR. In a word, you shall be our umpire, and you must spare us a couple
+of minutes.
+
+CL. (_To Orante_). Now you are retaining one who must condemn you:
+for, to be brief, if what I venture to hold be true, this gentleman will
+give the victory to my arguments.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Would that I could get hold of any rascal to invent
+something to get me off!
+
+OR. (_To Climène_). For my part, I am too much assured of his sense
+to fear that he will decide against me. (_To Éraste_). Well, this
+great contest which rages between us is to know whether a lover should
+be jealous.
+
+CL. Or, the better to explain my opinion and yours, which ought to
+please most, a jealous man or one that is not so?
+
+OR. For my part, I am clearly for the last.
+
+CL. As for me, I stand up for the first.
+
+OR. I believe that our heart must declare for him who best displays
+his respect.
+
+CL. And I that, if our sentiments are to be shewn, it ought to be for
+him who makes his love most apparent.
+
+OR. Yes; but we perceive the ardour of a lover much better through
+respect than through jealousy.
+
+CL. It is my opinion that he who is attached to us, loves us the more
+that he shows himself jealous?
+
+OR. Fie, Climène, do not call lovers those men whose love is like
+hatred, and who, instead of showing their respect and their ardour, give
+themselves no thought save how to become wearisome; whose minds, being
+ever prompted by some gloomy passion, seek to make a crime out of the
+slightest actions, are too blind to believe them innocent, and demand an
+explanation for a glance; who, if we seem a little sad, at once complain
+that their presence is the cause of it, and when the least joy sparkles
+in our eyes, will have their rivals to be at the bottom of it; who, in
+short, assuming a right because they are greatly in love, never speak to
+us save to pick a quarrel, dare to forbid anyone to approach us, and
+become the tyrants of their very conquerors. As for me, I want lovers to
+be respectful; their submission is a sure proof of our sway.
+
+CL. Fie, do not call those men true lovers who are never violent in
+their passion; those lukewarm gallants, whose tranquil hearts already
+think everything quite sure, have no fear of losing us, and
+overweeningly suffer their love to slumber day by day, are on good terms
+with their rivals, and leave a free field for their perseverance. So
+sedate a love incites my anger; to be without jealousy is to love
+coldly. I would that a lover, in order to prove his flame, should have
+his mind shaken by eternal suspicions, and, by sudden outbursts, show
+clearly the value he sets upon her to whose hand he aspires. Then his
+restlessness is applauded; and, if he sometimes treats us a little
+roughly, the pleasure of seeing him, penitent at our feet, to excuse
+himself for the outbreak of which he has been guilty, his tears, his
+despair at having been capable of displeasing us, are a charm to soothe
+all our anger.
+
+OR. If much violence is necessary to please you, I know who would
+satisfy you; I am acquainted with several men in Paris who love well
+enough to beat their fair ones openly.
+
+CL. If to please you, there must never be jealousy, I know several men
+just suited to you; lovers of such enduring mood that they would see you
+in the arms of thirty people without being concerned about it.
+
+OR. And now you must, by your sentence, declare whose love appears to
+you preferable.
+
+(_Orphise appears at the back of the stage, and sees Éraste between
+Orante and Climène_).
+
+ER. Since I cannot avoid giving judgment, I mean to satisfy you both at
+once; and, in order, not to blame that which is pleasing in your eyes,
+the jealous man loves more, but the other loves wisely.
+
+CL. The judgment is very judicious; but...
+
+ER. It is enough. I have finished. After what I have said permit me to
+leave you.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--ORPHISE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ER. (_Seeing Orphise, and going to meet her_). How long you have
+been, Madam, and how I suffer ...
+
+ORPH. Nay, nay, do not leave such a pleasant conversation. You are wrong
+to blame me for having arrived too late. (_Pointing to Orante and
+Climène, who have just left_). You had wherewithal to get on without
+me.
+
+ER. Will you be angry with me without reason, and reproach me with what
+I am made to suffer? Oh, I beseech you, stay ...
+
+ORPH. Leave me, I beg, and hasten to rejoin your company.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ÉRASTE, _alone_.
+
+
+Heaven! must bores of both sexes conspire this day to frustrate my
+dearest wishes? But let me follow her in spite of her resistance, and
+make my innocence clear in her eyes.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DORANTE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+DOR. Ah, Marquis, continually we find tedious people interrupting the
+course of our pleasures! You see me enraged on account of a splendid
+hunt, which a booby ... It is a story I must relate to you.
+
+ER. I am looking for some one, and cannot stay.
+
+DOR. (_Retaining him_). Egad, I shall tell it you as we go along.
+We were a well selected company who met yesterday to hunt a stag; on
+purpose we went to sleep on the ground itself--that is, my dear sir, far
+away in the forest. As the chase is my greatest pleasure, I wished, to
+do the thing well, to go to the wood myself; we decided to concentrate
+our efforts upon a stag which every one said was seven years old.
+
+[Footnote: The original expression is _cerf dix-corps_; this,
+according to the _dictionnaire de chasse_, is a seven years' old
+animal.]
+
+But my own opinion was--though I did not stop to observe the marks--that
+it was only a stag of the second year.
+
+[Footnote: The technical term is: "a knobbler;" in French, _un cerf à
+sa seconde tête.]
+
+We had separated, as was necessary, into different parties, and were
+hastily breakfasting on some new-laid eggs, when a regular
+country-gentleman, with a long sword, proudly mounted on his brood-mare,
+which he honoured with the name of his good mare, came up to pay us an
+awkward compliment, presenting to us at the same time, to increase our
+vexation, a great booby of a son, as stupid as his father. He styled
+himself a great sportsman, and begged that he might have the pleasure of
+accompanying us. Heaven preserve every sensible sportsman, when hunting,
+from a fellow who carries a dog's horn, which sounds when it ought not;
+from those gentry who, followed by ten mangy dogs, call them "my pack,"
+and play the part of wonderful hunters. His request granted, and his
+knowledge commended, we all of us started the deer,
+
+[Footnote: The original has _frapper à nos brisées_; _brisées_
+means "blinks." According to Dr. Ash's Dictionary, 1775, "Blinks are the
+boughs or branches thrown in the way of a deer to stop its course."]
+
+within thrice the length of the leash, tally-ho! the dogs were put on
+the track of the stag. I encouraged them, and blew a loud blast. My stag
+emerged from the wood, and crossed a pretty wide plain, the dogs after
+him, but in such good order that you could have covered them all with
+one cloak. He made for the forest. Then we slipped the old pick upon
+him; I quickly brought out my sorrel-horse. You have seen him?
+
+ER. I think not.
+
+DOR. Not seen him? The animal is as good as he is beautiful; I bought
+him some days ago from Gaveau.
+
+[Footnote: A well-known horse-dealer in Molière's time.]
+
+I leave you to think whether that dealer, who has such a respect for me,
+would deceive me in such a matter; I am satisfied with the horse. He
+never indeed sold a better, or a better-shaped one. The head of a barb,
+with a clear star; the neck of a swan, slender, and very straight; no
+more shoulder than a hare; short-jointed, and full of vivacity in his
+motion. Such feet--by Heaven! such feet!--double-haunched: to tell you
+the truth, it was I alone who found the way to break him in. Gaveau's
+Little John never mounted him without trembling, though he did his best
+to look unconcerned. A back that beats any horse's for breadth; and
+legs! O ye Heavens!
+
+[Footnote: Compare the description of the horse given by the Dauphin in
+Shakespeare's Henry V., Act iii., Scene 6, and also that of the "round
+hoof'd, short jointed" jennet in the _Venus and Adonis_ of the same
+author.]
+
+In short, he is a marvel; believe me, I have refused a hundred pistoles
+for him, with one of the horses destined for the King to boot. I then
+mounted, and was in high spirits to see some of the hounds coursing over
+the plain to get the better of the deer. I pressed on, and found myself
+in a by-thicket at the heels of the dogs, with none else but Drecar.
+
+[Footnote: A famous huntsman in Molière's time.]
+
+There for an hour our stag was at bay. Upon this, I cheered on the dogs,
+and made a terrible row. In short, no hunter was ever more delighted! I
+alone started him again; and all was going on swimmingly, when a young
+stag joined ours. Some of my dogs left the others. Marquis, I saw them,
+as you may suppose, follow with hesitation, and Finaut was at a loss.
+But he suddenly turned, which delighted me very much, and drew the dogs
+the right way, whilst I sounded horn and hallooed, "Finaut! Finaut!" I
+again with pleasure discovered the track of the deer by a mole-hill, and
+blew away at my leisure. A few dogs ran back to me, when, as ill-luck
+would have it, the young stag came over to our country bumpkin. My
+blunderer began blowing like mad, and bellowed aloud, "Tallyho! tallyho!
+tallyho!" All my dogs left me, and made for my booby. I hastened there,
+and found the track again on the highroad. But, my dear fellow, I had
+scarcely cast my eyes on the ground, when I discovered it was the other
+animal, and was very much annoyed at it. It was in vain to point out to
+the country fellow the difference between the print of my stag's hoof
+and his. He still maintained, like an ignorant sportsman, that this was
+the pack's stag; and by this disagreement he gave the dogs time to get a
+great way off. I was in a rage, and, heartily cursing the fellow, I
+spurred my horse up hill and down dale, and brushed through boughs as
+thick as my arm. I brought back my dogs to my first scent, who set off,
+to my great joy, in search of our stag, as though he were in full view.
+They started him again; but, did ever such an accident happen? To tell
+you the truth, Marquis, it floored me. Our stag, newly started, passed
+our bumpkin, who, thinking to show what an admirable sportsman he was,
+shot him just in the forehead with a horse-pistol that he had brought
+with him, and cried out to me from a distance, "Ah! I've brought the
+beast down!" Good Heavens! did any one ever hear of pistols in
+stag-hunting? As for me, when I came to the spot, I found the whole
+affair so odd, that I put spurs to my horse in a rage, and returned home
+at a gallop, without saying a single word to that ignorant fool.
+
+ER. You could not have done better; your prudence was admirable. That is
+how we must get rid of bores. Farewell.
+
+DOR. When you like, we will go somewhere where we need not dread
+country-hunters.
+
+ER. (_Alone_). Very well. I think I shall lose patience in the end.
+Let me make all haste, and try to excuse myself.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT II.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Bowlers stop Éraste to measure a distance about which there is a
+dispute. He gets clear of them with difficulty, and leaves them to dance
+a measure, composed of all the postures usual to that game.
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Little boys with slings enter and interrupt them, who are in their turn
+driven out by
+
+_Third Entry_.
+
+Cobblers, men and women, their fathers, and others, who are also driven
+out in their turn.
+
+_Fourth Entry_.
+
+A gardener, who dances alone, and then retires.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ACT III.
+
+SCENE I.--ÉRASTE, LA MONTAGNE.
+
+
+ER. It is true that on the one hand my efforts have succeeded; the
+object of my love is at length appeased. But on the other hand I am
+wearied, and the cruel stars have persecuted my passion with double
+fury. Yes, Damis, her guardian, the worst of bores, is again hostile to
+my tenderest desires, has forbidden me to see his lovely niece, and
+wishes to provide her to-morrow with another husband. Yet Orphise, in
+spite of his refusal, deigns to grant me this evening a favour; I have
+prevailed upon the fair one to suffer me to see her in her own house, in
+private. Love prefers above all secret favours; it finds a pleasure in
+the obstacle which it masters; the slightest conversation with the
+beloved beauty becomes, when it is forbidden, a supreme favour. I am
+going to the rendezvous; it is almost the hour; since I wish to be there
+rather before than after my time.
+
+LA M. Shall I follow you?
+
+ER. No. I fear least you should make me known to certain suspicious persons.
+
+LA M. But ....
+
+ER. I do not desire it.
+
+LA M. I must obey you. But at least, if at a distance....
+
+ER. For the twentieth time will you hold your tongue? And will you never
+give up this practice of perpetually making yourself a troublesome
+servant?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.--CARITIDÈS; ÉRASTE.
+
+
+CAR. Sir, it is an unseasonable time to do myself the honour of waiting
+upon you; morning would be more fit for performing such a duty, but it
+is not very easy to meet you, for you are always asleep, or in town. At
+least your servants so assure me. I have chosen this opportunity to see
+you. And yet this is a great happiness with which fortune favours me,
+for a couple of moments later I should have missed you.
+
+ER. Sir, do you desire something of me?
+
+CAR. I acquit myself, sir, of what I owe you; and come to you ... Excuse
+the boldness which inspires me, if...
+
+ER. Without so much ceremony, what have you to say to me?
+
+CAR. As the rank, wit, and generosity which every one extols in you...
+
+ER. Yes, I am very much extolled. Never mind that, sir.
+
+CAR. Sir, it is a vast difficulty when a man has to introduce himself;
+we should always be presented to the great by people who commend us in
+words, whose voice, being listened to, delivers with authority what may
+cause our slender merit to be known. In short, I could have wished that
+some persons well-informed could have told you, sir, what I am...
+
+ER. I see sufficiently, sir, what you are. Your manner of accosting me
+makes that clear.
+
+CAR. Yes, I am a man of learning charmed by your worth; not one of those
+learned men whose name ends simply in _us_. Nothing is so common as
+a name with a Latin termination. Those we dress in Greek have a much
+superior look; and in order to have one ending in _ès_, I call
+myself Mr. Caritidès.
+
+ER. Caritidès be it. What have you to say?
+
+CAR. I wish, sir, to read you a petition, which I venture to beg of you
+to present to the King, as your position enables you to do.
+
+ER. Why, sir, you can present it yourself! ...
+
+CAR. It is true that the King grants that supreme favour; but, from the
+very excess of his rare kindness, so many villainous petitions, sir, are
+presented that they choke the good ones; the hope I entertain is that
+mine should be presented when his Majesty is alone.
+
+ER. Well, you can do it, and choose your own time.
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, the door-keepers are such terrible fellows! They treat men
+of learning like snobbs and butts; I can never get beyond the
+guard-room. The ill-treatment I am compelled to suffer would make me
+withdraw from court for ever, if I had not conceived the certain hope
+that you will be my Mecaeænas with the King. Yes, your influence is to
+me a certain means ...
+
+ER. Well, then, give it me; I will present it.
+
+CAR. Here it is. But at least, hear it read.
+
+ER. No ...
+
+CAR. That you may be acquainted with it, sir, I beg.
+
+"TO THE KING.
+
+"_Sire,--Your most humble, most obedient, most faithful and most
+learned subject and servant, Caritidès, a Frenchman by birth, a
+Greek_
+
+[Footnote: The original has _Grec_, a Greek. Can Caritidès have
+wished to allude to the _græaca fides_? _Grec_ means also a
+cheat at cards, and is said to owe its name to a certain Apoulos, a
+knight of Greek origin, who was caught in the very act of cheating at
+play in the latter days of Louis XIV.'s reign, even in the palace of the
+_grand monarque_.]
+
+_by profession, having considered the great and notable abuses which
+are perpetrated in the inscriptions on the signs of houses, shops,
+taverns, bowling-alleys, and other places in your good city of Paris;
+inasmuch as certain ignorant composers of the said inscriptions subvert,
+by a barbarous, pernicious and hateful spelling, every kind of sense and
+reason, without any regard for etymology, analogy, energy or allegory
+whatsoever, to the great scandal of the republic of letters, and of the
+French nation, which is degraded and dishonoured, by the said abuses and
+gross faults, in the eyes of strangers, and notably of the Germans,
+curious readers and inspectors of the said inscriptions..."
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion either to the reputation of the Germans
+as great drinkers, or as learned decipherers of all kinds of
+inscriptions.]
+
+ER. This petition is very long, and may very likely weary...
+
+CAR. Ah, sir, not a word could be cut out.
+
+ER. Finish quickly.
+
+CAR. (Continuing). "_Humbly petitions your Majesty to constitute, for
+the good of his state and the glory of his realm, an office of
+controller, supervisor, corrector, reviser and restorer in general of
+the said inscriptions; and with this office to honour your suppliant, as
+well in consideration of his rare and eminent erudition, as of the great
+and signal services which he has rendered to the state and to your
+Majesty, by making the anagram of your said Majesty in French, Latin,
+Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldean, Arabic_..."
+
+ER. (_Interrupting him_). Very good. Give it me quickly and retire:
+it shall be seen by the King; the thing is as good as done.
+
+CAR. Alas! sir, to show my petition is everything. If the King but see
+it, I am sure of my point; for as his justice is great in all things, he
+will never be able to refuse my prayer. For the rest, to raise your fame
+to the skies, give me your name and surname in writing, and I will make
+a poem, in which the first letters of your name shall appear at both
+ends of the lines, and in each half measure.
+
+ER. Yes, you shall have it to-morrow, Mr. Caritidès. (_Alone_).
+Upon my word, such learned men are perfect asses. Another time I should
+have heartily laughed at his folly.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE III.--ORMIN, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ORM. Though a matter of great consequence brings me here, I wished that
+man to leave before speaking to you.
+
+ER. Very well. But make haste; for I wish to be gone.
+
+ORM. I almost fancy that the man who has just left you has vastly
+annoyed you, sir, by his visit. He is a troublesome old man whose mind
+is not quite right, and for whom I have always some excuse ready to get
+rid of him. On the Mall, in the Luxembourg,
+
+[Footnote: The Mall was a promenade in Paris, shaded by trees, near the
+Arsenal.]
+
+[Footnote: The Luxembourg was in Molière's time the most fashionable
+promenade of Paris.]
+
+and in the Tuileries he wearies people with his fancies; men like you
+should avoid the conversation of all those good-for-nothing pedants.
+For my part I have no fear of troubling you, since I am come, sir, to
+make your fortune.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). This is some alchymist: one of those creatures who
+have nothing, and are always promising you ever so much riches.
+(_Aloud_). Have you discovered that blessed stone, sir, which alone
+can enrich all the kings of the earth?
+
+ORM. Aha! what a funny idea! Heaven forbid, sir, that I should be one of
+those fools. I do not foster idle dreams; I bring you here sound words
+of advice which I would communicate, through you, to the King, and which
+I always carry about me, sealed up. None of those silly plans and vain
+chimeras which are dinned in the ears of our superintendents;
+
+[Footnote: This is an allusion to the giver of the feast, Mons. Fouquet,
+_surintendant des finances_. See also page 299, note I.]
+
+none of your beggarly schemes which rise to no more than twenty or
+thirty millions; but one which, at the lowest reckoning, will give the
+King a round four hundred millions yearly, with ease, without risk or
+suspicion, without oppressing the nation in any way. In short, it is a
+scheme for an inconceivable profit, which will be found feasible at the
+first explanation. Yes, if only through you I can be encouraged ...
+
+ER. Well, we will talk of it. I am rather in a hurry.
+
+ORM. If you will promise to keep it secret, I will unfold to you this
+important scheme.
+
+ER. No, no; I do not wish to know your secret.
+
+ORM. Sir, I believe you are too discreet to divulge it, and I wish to
+communicate it to you frankly, in two words. I must see that none can
+hear us. (_After seeing that no one is listening, he approaches
+Eraste's ear_). This marvellous plan, of which I am the inventor, is...
+
+ER. A little farther off, sir, for a certain reason.
+
+ORM. You know, without any need of my telling you, the great profit
+which the King yearly receives from his seaports. Well, the plan of
+which no one has yet thought, and which is an easy matter, is to make
+all the coasts of France into famous ports. This would amount to vast
+sums; and if ...
+
+ER. The scheme is good, and will greatly please the King. Farewell. We
+shall see each other again.
+
+ORM. At all events assist me, for you are the first to whom I have
+spoken of it.
+
+ER. Yes, yes.
+
+ORM. If you would lend me a couple of pistoles, you could repay yourself
+out of the profits of the scheme ....
+
+ER. (_Gives money to Ormin_). Gladly. (_Alone_). Would to
+Heaven, that at such a price I could get rid of all who trouble me! How
+ill-timed their visit is! At last I think I may go. Will any one else
+come to detain me?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE IV.--FILINTE, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+FIL. Marquis, I have just heard strange tidings.
+
+ER. What?
+
+FIL. That some one has just now quarrelled with you.
+
+ER. With me?
+
+FIL. What is the use of dissimulation? I know on good authority that you
+have been called out; and, as your friend, I come, at all events, to
+offer you my services against all mankind.
+
+ER. I am obliged to you; but believe me you do me....
+
+FIL. You will not admit it; but you are going out without attendants.
+Stay in town, or go into the country, you shall go nowhere without my
+accompanying you.
+
+ER. (_Aside_). Oh, I shall go mad.
+
+FIL. Where is the use of hiding from me?
+
+ER. I swear to you, Marquis, that you have been deceived.
+
+FIL. It is no use denying it.
+
+ER. May Heaven smite me, if any dispute....
+
+FIL. Do you think I believe you?
+
+ER. Good Heaven, I tell you without concealment that....
+
+FIL. Do not think me such a dupe and simpleton.
+
+ER. Will you oblige me?
+
+FIL. No.
+
+ER. Leave me, I pray.
+
+FIL. Nothing of the sort, Marquis.
+
+ER. An assignation to-night at a certain place....
+
+FIL. I do not quit you. Wherever it be, I mean to follow you.
+
+ER. On my soul, since you mean me to have a quarrel, I agree to it, to
+satisfy your zeal. I shall be with you, who put me in a rage, and of
+whom I cannot get rid by fair means.
+
+FIL. That is a sorry way of receiving the service of a friend. But as I
+do you so ill an office, farewell. Finish what you have on hand without
+me.
+
+ER. You will be my friend when you leave me. (_Alone_). But see
+what misfortunes happen to me! They will have made me miss the hour
+appointed.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--DAMIS, L'ÉPINE, ÉRASTE, LA RIVIÈRE, _and his Companions_.
+
+
+DAM. (_Aside_). What! the rascal hopes to obtain her in spite of
+me! Ah! my just wrath shall know how to prevent him!
+
+ER. (_Aside_). I see some one there at Orphise's door. What! must
+there always be some obstacle to the passion she sanctions!
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). Yes, I have discovered that my niece, in spite
+of my care, is to receive Éraste in her room to-night, alone.
+
+LA R. (_To his companions_). What do I hear those people saying of
+our master? Let us approach safely, without betraying ourselves.
+
+DAM. (_To L'Epine_). But before he has a chance of accomplishing
+his design, we must pierce his treacherous heart with a thousand blows.
+Go and fetch those whom I mentioned just now, and place them in ambush
+where I told you, so that at the name of Éraste they may be ready to
+avenge my honour, which his passion has the presumption to outrage; to
+break off the assignation which brings him here, and quench his guilty
+flame in his blood.
+
+LA R. (_Attacking Damis with his companions_). Before your fury can
+destroy him, wretch! you shall have to deal with us!
+
+ER. Though he would have killed me, honour urges me here to rescue the
+uncle of my mistress. (_To Damis_). I am on your side, Sir. (_He
+draws his sword and attacks La Rivière and his companions, whom he puts
+to flight_.)
+
+DAM. Heavens! By whose aid do I find myself saved from a certain death?
+To whom am I indebted for so rare a service?
+
+ER. (_Returning_). In serving you, I have done but an act of
+justice.
+
+DAM. Heavens. Can I believe my ears! Is this the hand of Éraste?
+
+ER. Yes, yes, Sir, it is I. Too happy that my hand has rescued you: too
+unhappy in having deserved your hatred.
+
+DAM. What! Éraste, whom I was resolved to have assassinated has just
+used his sword to defend me! Oh, this is too much; my heart is compelled
+to yield; whatever your love may have meditated to-night, this
+remarkable display of generosity ought to stifle all animosity. I blush
+for my crime, and blame my prejudice. My hatred has too long done you
+injustice! To show you openly I no longer entertain it, I unite you this
+very night to your love.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VI.--ORPHISE, DAMIS, ÉRASTE.
+
+
+ORPH. (_Entering with a silver candlestick in her hand_). Sir, what
+has happened that such a terrible disturbance....
+
+DAM. Niece, nothing but what is very agreeable, since, after having
+blamed, for a long time, your love for Éraste, I now give him to you for
+a husband. His arm has warded off the deadly thrust aimed at me; I
+desire that your hand reward him.
+
+ORPH. I owe everything to you; if, therefore, it is to pay him your
+debt. I consent, as he has saved your life.
+
+ER. My heart is so overwhelmed by this great miracle, that amidst this
+ecstasy, I doubt if I am awake.
+
+DAM. Let us celebrate the happy lot that awaits you; and let our violins
+put us in a joyful mood. (_As the violins strike up, there is a knock
+at the door_).
+
+ER. Who knocks so loud?
+
+
+
+
+SCENE VII.--DAMIS, ORPHISE, ÉRASTE, L'ÉPINE.
+
+
+L'EP. Sir, here are masks, with kits and tabors.
+
+(_The masks enter, filling the stage_).
+
+ER. What! Bores for ever? Hulloa, guards, here. Turn out these rascals
+for me.
+
+
+
+
+BALLET TO ACT III.
+
+_First Entry_.
+
+Swiss guards, with halberds, drive out all the troublesome masks, and
+then retire to make room for a dance of
+
+[Footnote: The origin of the introduction of the Swiss Guards
+(mercenaries) in the service of the French and other foreign powers may
+be ascribed to the fact that Switzerland itself, being too poor to
+maintain soldiers in time of peace, allowed them to serve other nations
+on condition of coming back immediately to their own cantons in time of
+war or invasion.
+
+It is particularly with France that Switzerland contracted treaties to
+furnish certain contingents in case of need. The first of these dates
+back as far as 1444 between the Dauphin, afterwards Charles VII., and
+the different cantons. This Act was renewed in 1453, and the number of
+soldiers to be furnished was fixed once for all, the minimum being
+6,000, and the maximum 16,000. The Helvetians, who until 1515 had always
+been faithful to their engagements, turned traitors in that year against
+Francis I., who defeated them at Marignan. But the good feeling was soon
+afterwards re-established, and a new treaty, almost similar to the
+former, restored the harmony between the two nations.
+
+Another document is extant, signed at Baden in 1553, by which the
+cantons bind themselves to furnish Henry II. with as many troops as he
+may want. It is particularly remarkable, inasmuch as it served as a
+basis for all subsequent ones until 1671. These conventions have not
+always been faithfully carried out, for the Swiss contracted engagements
+with other nations, notably with Spain, Naples, and Sardinia, and even
+with Portugal. At the commencement of the campaign of 1697, Louis XIV.
+had, notwithstanding all this, as many as 32,000 Swiss in his service,
+the highest number ever attained. The regulations for the foreign
+colonels and captains in their relations among themselves, and with the
+French Government, were not unlike those in force at present for the
+native soldiery in our Indian possessions. Towards the end of Louis
+XIV.'s reign the number decreased to 14,400, officers included; it rose
+in 1773 to 19,836, and during the wars of 1742-48. to 21,300. The ebb
+and flow of their numbers continued from that time until the Revolution
+of 1830, when they were finally abolished.
+
+They received a much higher pay than the national troops, and had
+besides this many other advantages, one of them being that the officers
+had in the army the next grade higher than that which they occupied in
+their own regiments; for instance, the colonel of a Swiss regiment had
+the rank of a major-general, and retired on the pay of a
+lieutenant-general, &c. They enjoyed the same privileges, with some
+slight modifications, wherever they served elsewhere.]
+
+_Second Entry_.
+
+Four shepherds and a shepherdess, who, in the opinion of all who saw it,
+concluded the entertainment with much grace.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bores, by Moliere
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BORES ***
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