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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #66393 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66393)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Battle of the Bells, by Jerome Bixby
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Battle of the Bells
-
-Author: Jerome Bixby
-
-Release Date: September 27, 2021 [eBook #66393]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BATTLE OF THE BELLS ***
-
-
-
-
- Charley's practical joke was usually good
- for a laugh when a city feller made a rest stop;
- but it also aroused heavenly concern and began--
-
- The Battle of the Bells
-
- By Jerome Bixby
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
- September 1954
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-It would happen maybe once or twice a week--never much more. Because
-things had to be just right.
-
-For example, it had to be daytime for it to work. At night, nobody was
-likely to notice the chain hanging down with the handle on the end of
-it.
-
-And naturally the victims had to be city folk. Had to be used to just
-reaching up and grabbing and pulling without a thought. Because when
-you stop to think about it, a chain like that in a place like that is
-about the most unlikely thing in the world.
-
-But it worked--it worked often enough to bring grins to the faces of
-any men who were around at the time, and enough to make the town women
-sometimes a little cool toward Charley Mason when they went in to buy
-things at his store. Because it was strictly a man's joke, and he was
-the man.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Owensville is a small town in western Pennsylvania. It sits low in one
-end of a green-sided valley, just a few frame houses and stores strung
-along a main street ... and that main street is on the one and only
-road that leads through the valley: a road that all the maps show to be
-a convenient and dependable connection between the Penn Turnpike and
-several other major routes, should you be heading south.
-
-So a lot of people drive through Owensville every week--upwards of two
-hundred or so. And there's always one or two of them in the mood to
-spend a little time in a restroom--the last Howard Johnson's is twenty
-miles back along the Turnpike, and the road down into the valley is a
-bumpy one besides, and you know what that does to your innards.
-
-So they come driving around the bend under the trees and their car
-wheels thump across the old wooden bridge across Miller's Creek--and
-once in a while one of them would pull off the road into the yard
-beside Charley Mason's General Store because they'd spot his
-crescent-doored outhouse standing there. Charley always kept it painted
-up so it'd be easier to see--clean white with a red roof--and over
-the door he'd lettered, big enough to see from the bridge, PUBLIC
-RESTROOM.
-
-Then somebody'd get out of the car and go in, and a few minutes later
-the chain that came up through the roof would yank down as whoever was
-inside reached up and pulled the handle.
-
-And then the big old cowbell on the roof--the biggest and noisiest
-Charley'd been able to find--would dance around in the mounting he'd
-made out of an angle-iron, and go _Blongle, blongle, blok!_
-
-After a minute the door'd open and the city folk would come out,
-looking puzzled and kind of sneaky. They'd give a glance up at the roof
-and see the cowbell mounted there. Some of them might grin at the way
-they'd been had. But mostly they'd get into their car and drive off
-maybe a little faster'n they would've ordinarily.
-
-If it was a woman, it was five times as funny. Because some of the
-older men were always sitting around on the porch of Charley's store
-playing pinochle, or lounging down by the bridge just talking, and
-when the woman would come out they'd all grin at her and those who had
-mustaches might twiddle them a bit, and she'd get redder'n a bushel of
-tomatoes.
-
-Women drove off faster'n anybody, usually.
-
-Some townspeople said it wasn't a very good way to advertise Owensville
-to passersby. But Charley said that a town of thirty-two people didn't
-have to worry about advertising one way or the other--it just needed
-diversion. And since it was on his property, the cowbell stayed up.
-
-It was just a gag. It never really hurt anybody. Charley, who could
-incline to philosophy when it suited him, said that the only person it
-could hurt was somebody who was plain ashamed of being human. And, on
-the personal side, he admitted he got a kick out of seeing them all
-flustered up that way.
-
-Probably the outhouse and the bell'd still be there, and Charley'd
-still be getting his laughs, if the fat lady in the green convertible
-hadn't decided to do some praying.
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was a late July afternoon, and plenty hot. The sun was reflecting
-like yellow-green fire off the hills around, and everybody was sitting
-in the shade.
-
-Charley Mason and Sam Knudson were sitting on the store porch playing
-gin, and Luke Yates was just coming up the steps, when they heard a car
-approaching.
-
-Charley and Sam paused in their game and Luke turned his gray head to
-look.
-
-"Maybe this time," Charley said.
-
-Luke Yates studied the dust cloud moving toward town above the tops of
-the trees.
-
-"Coming pretty fast," he said. "Bet they drive right on through."
-
-"A dollar," said Charley. "You bounce harder when you drive fast."
-
-"It's on," said Luke.
-
-Waiting, Charley Mason leaned back in his chair and half-closed his
-eyes, a lean, bald man in shirt-sleeves, the hand holding his cards
-relaxed in his lap. They could hear the murmur of the creek carrying
-away the runoff from last night's rain, and the air was sweet with the
-breath of the fields off down the valley.
-
-"Rich man," said Charley, looking across the yard at his outhouse,
-"poor man, beggar man, thief. In there, you're all alike in the eyes of
-God, I guess."
-
-Sam Knudson nodded thoughtfully. "In the eyes of _something_, at any
-rate."
-
-"All alike," said Luke Yates.
-
-"Can't see your wallet from _there_," Charley said.
-
-"Your brains either," said Luke.
-
-After a moment, Charley said, "Some people's brains, maybe."
-
-They all nodded.
-
-A green convertible driven by a fat woman came around the bend,
-trailing dust, and rattled across the bridge.
-
-"New York license plates," Luke said, squinting.
-
-"Yep," said Charley.
-
-"Maybe she'll bite."
-
-"If she stops," Charley said, "maybe she will."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The green convertible swerved off the road and pulled to a halt beside
-the store. The fat lady got out and looked around for a moment,
-blinking in the sun. She saw the three old men up on the porch and
-seemed to hesitate. Then she went around the back of the car and headed
-for the outhouse, walking a little defiantly, head up, her steps steady
-and deliberate.
-
-The men exchanged glances. Luke handed Charley a dollar bill.
-
-"Do her some good, maybe," Charley said. "Shy type."
-
-"Like we didn't know how it was," Sam said, shaking his head.
-
-"Or maybe," Charley said, "because we do. Funny."
-
-Luke sat down on the bottom-most step and scuffed the dirt of the yard
-with a toe. They watched the cowbell atop the outhouse, and listened to
-the murmur of the creek, and heard a bird sing in the big elm out back
-of the store, and waited.
-
-The chain that came up through the outhouse roof yanked down.
-
-The cowbell went _Blongle, blongle, blok!_
-
-Charley puffed his pipe in satisfaction. Luke and Sam grinned. They
-waited for the fat lady to emerge.
-
-When she did, a moment later, it was looking puzzled as usual--but
-there was a difference. She stalked ten feet away from the outhouse,
-about-faced, and stared up at the cowbell. The men saw the back of her
-neck get red and redder still. Then she turned and came toward the
-porch. Her eyes were narrowed, her hands were clenched into fists, her
-mouth was a determined slash.
-
-She marched across the yard and stood facing the three men on the
-porch. She put her fists on her hips and glared.
-
-Luke and Sam stopped grinning. Charley's pipe drooped.
-
-The sun beat down on the valley, the town, the yard, the outhouse,
-the fat woman. Her brow was shiny with perspiration. She stood there,
-turned her cold blue glare on one man after another, like you'd sweep a
-gatling against enemy ranks.
-
-Luke said uncomfortably, "Howdy, ma'am."
-
-"You old lechers!" said the fat woman tightly.
-
-Charley and Luke and Sam exchanged dismayed looks.
-
-"Now, ma'am--" Charley began.
-
-"Don't say anything, you old lechers," the fat woman spat. "I don't
-want to hear your gloating, oily voices! Of all the lecherous,
-salacious, lascivious things to do!"
-
-"Why," Charley said doubtfully, "I guess we're a little old to be all
-those things--"
-
-"You're never too old to be evil-minded!" she snapped. "Even if your
-bodies are too old for unGodliness!" Her positive and indicating gaze
-raked them up and down, and she saw the cards which Charley held in his
-lap.
-
-"Playing cards, too!" she said, her lips curling. "Well, I guess _that_
-follows!"
-
-"Follows what, ma'am?" Luke asked puzzledly.
-
-She saw the brown beer bottle resting on the box beside Charley's chair.
-
-"_Alcohol!_" she hissed.
-
- * * * * *
-
-She stood glaring up at them, her breath coming fast and shallow, in a
-half-crouch that led Charley Mason to wonder if she planned to climb
-right over the porch rail and lace into them physically.
-
-Then, as they watched in wary silence, her anger seemed to abate a
-little; over a period of five seconds her fists slowly unclenched, her
-breath slowed, she straightened.
-
-She said in a low voice, "It's the work of the Devil. Anger is not the
-answer."
-
-"The Devil, ma'am?" Charley asked.
-
-"_He_ has made you do this--it is a device to keep lewd and licentious
-thoughts uppermost in your minds and corrupt your immortal souls. I
-suppose I shouldn't blame you for listening to him ... so _few_ of us
-_are_ able to resist his honeyed mouthings."
-
-"Ma'am," Luke said, "I don't think you should get so excited on a hot
-day like this. Maybe a cold coke--"
-
-"I'll pray," the fat lady said. "I'll pray for the Lord to undo this
-Devil's work. I'll pray that your souls be cleansed of the evil
-thoughts the Dark One has put there." Her pale blue eyes seemed a
-trifle fixed, and now she smiled, looking through the men who watched
-her worriedly. "I--I'm almost proud that I should have suffered this
-humiliation in order to help Him in His work--it is a small price to
-pay, to have been the object of your lustful thoughts, if I can save
-your souls by telling the Lord what you are doing and seeing to it
-that He stops you!"
-
-She gave them a pitying, sympathetic look. "You hate me now," she said,
-"but when you are pure you will thank me."
-
-She turned away and walked toward her car, head bowed.
-
-After a moment Luke got up from the steps and sank into a chair on the
-porch. "Does lust mean what I think it means?" he asked.
-
-"Guess it does," Charley said.
-
-"Well, back when I _could_ lust, I wouldn't ever have lusted _her_."
-
-They watched her get in and drive off, head still down in an attitude
-of prayer, eyes up so she could drive. The car reached the other end of
-the main street, followed the road into the trees, and vanished.
-
-Charley stared contemplatively across the yard at his outhouse.
-
-"Work of the Devil, huh?" he mused. "Well, now doesn't that beat all! I
-bet Heaven would kick that prayer right out of court!"
-
-"No," said a firm voice. "It was heard."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The three old men turned and saw a tall, handsome, blond young man,
-dressed in a neat and utterly clean white suit, standing in the
-center of the yard. His face wore an expression of perfect peace and
-abounding love.
-
-Actually, he wasn't _quite_ standing in the yard yet. When they turned,
-his feet were about four feet above the ground. As they watched, he
-floated slowly down until he was standing straight, and tall and
-smiling a little.
-
-At that moment, _timelessness_ descended upon the scene--upon Charley
-Mason's store, the yard, the outhouse. _Timelessness_ bounded the
-area from one edge of Charley's yard to the other, and from the road
-clear to the woods out back; and that _timelessness_ extended downward
-to a perfect point at the very center of the Earth, and extended upward
-in a perfect cone to Heaven; and within its boundaries nothing that
-happened was visible to the outside world, or indeed even "happened"
-so far as the outside world was concerned: for it all happened in
-_timelessness_ ... in one of those particles of time-substance which
-exists _between_ microseconds on Earth's time continuum: particles so
-small that they are of use only to angels, who in their work must often
-get between people and their intended deeds faster than seems possible.
-
-The young man's calm eyes looked into the minds of the three old
-men on the porch, and saw no evidence there of lewd or lascivious
-thoughts of the magnitude reported by the fat lady in her prayer. This
-did not surprise him, for exaggeration is the backbone of prayer, and
-the Heavenly Workers are used to it. In particular are they used to
-nuisances like the fat lady, who continually turn in false alarms.
-
-Closing his eyes, the young man contacted his secretary-cherubim in
-his office in Heaven. The cherubim immediately returned the dossiers
-of Luke and Sam and Charley Mason to the Heavenly Files, with no
-additional notations on the debit side.
-
-That done--for nothing is so urgent in the eyes of Heaven as the latest
-data on souls--the young man turned his attention to the outhouse.
-
-He saw the cowbell, and his lips pursed.
-
-He left the porch, walking lightly, and crossed the yard to the
-outhouse. The three old men watched him dreamily, unmoving,
-comprehending, gripped by _timelessness_ and a sense of wonder.
-
-The young man opened the crescented door and went in. The chain yanked.
-The cowbell went _Blongle, blongle, blok!_
-
-The young man reappeared in the door and looked at the old men on the
-porch. He pursed his lips again and shook his head reprimandingly. He
-disappeared again.
-
-A second later, the cowbell and chain and angle-iron disappeared too.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The young man came out, dusting his hands with a white handkerchief. He
-came back across the yard and mounted the steps. He seated himself on
-the porch railing, where he could face the three old men.
-
-"Shame on you," he said.
-
-The men cast their eyes downward.
-
-"The lady's accusations were somewhat excessive," the young man said.
-"Your motives seem not to have been primarily lascivious, and I have so
-informed Heaven. But still ... don't you think you should be ashamed of
-yourselves?" He paused. "You may nod if you wish."
-
-The men nodded, eyes dreamy.
-
-"After all," the young man said, "isn't that rather a snide trick to
-play on tired travelers who seek your hospitality?"
-
-Charley Mason's mouth worked; his Adam's apple bobbed.
-
-"Speak," said the young man.
-
-"Gosh," Charley said in a low voice, "it was just a little joke. We
-never had nothing else in mind--"
-
-"I know," the young man said. "I have discounted that element. I am
-speaking of the unkindness of the prank--the discomfiture which you
-impose on its victims."
-
-"Oh," said Charley. "I--gosh, it just embarrassed them a little bit,
-that's all. I mean ... that's all, isn't it?"
-
-"No," said the young man sternly, "there is more. Think a moment,
-humans, upon that common structure in the yard ... think deeply, and
-you will realize that there is much more to it than meets the eye."
-
-"Guess so," mumbled Charley.
-
-"It is a haven ... a place of wondrous solitude ... a refuge for those
-who would contemplate without interruption, as many a weary traveler
-yearns for."
-
-"Guess so."
-
-"In what other situation can you be so completely alone ... in a
-perfect isolation not only permitted but sanctioned by your society?
-Why, humans, I could tell you of the most extraordinary moments of
-piety, of philosophical reflection, of artistic conception which we
-have recorded as occurring under such circumstances...."
-
-"I never thought of it that way, I guess," Charley said slowly. "I
-always did sort of think it leveled you off, though."
-
-The young man eyed them soberly.
-
-"In late afternoon," he said, "in the confines of the rustic outhouse,
-settled happily, hearing the quaint and natural sounds of the insects
-in the field, the flutterings of birds from branch to branch ... do you
-know that in this day it is the only waking place where one may flee
-for the inner life?"
-
-The old men looked down guiltily.
-
-"It is ever a reminder of one's mortality," the young man said.
-
-"It is Man in his true aristocratic state," he said.
-
-"And yet at his most humble," he said.
-
-"And now I will leave," he said. "I hope you have seen the light, and
-will no longer impose your crude, cruel joke on those who trust you for
-a moment's peace."
-
-He stood up. "I hardly think that it was the work of the Devil,
-however, as the lady seemed to think--"
-
-A cloud seemed to come over the sun--but there were no clouds, so
-perhaps the sun dimmed. The birds in the trees were suddenly silent.
-Even the rustling leaves seemed to pause. It grew still darker, and a
-chill breeze sprang up.
-
-A head, whose face was dark and sharp and saturnine, appeared in the
-center of the yard.
-
- * * * * *
-
-As the young man and the three old men watched, a tall, dark, gaunt man
-in a neatly tailored black suit rose from the ground and stood eying
-them mockingly.
-
-"Wasn't it?" he said in a thin, dry voice, and laughed.
-
-The young man's lips tightened. He said nothing. The three old men were
-shrunken back in their chairs, staring.
-
-The Devil--or perhaps the man in black was only _part_ of the Devil,
-for mysterious and complex are the ways he influences from his bronze
-throne in the exact center of midwestern Gehenna--turned and sauntered
-to the outhouse. He entered.
-
-A moment later the cowbell and chain and angle-iron reappeared--though
-not quite as they had been. The chain seemed a little heavier, the
-cowbell a little larger and more shiny.
-
-The chain was yanked. The cowbell went _Blongle, blongle, blok,
-blok!_--a metallic sound of triumph.
-
-The man in black came out smirking. He made his way across the yard and
-mounted the porch steps. The young man frowned and lifted a shoulder so
-the fabrics of their clothing would not touch.
-
-The man in black went to the opposite end of the porch and sat down in
-a chair there. He looked out over the bridge and the murmuring creek
-and the trees beyond and took a pipe from a pocket. From another pocket
-he took a live coal, which he dropped into the pipe. He puffed, and
-sulphur-smell filled the air.
-
-The young man got up, sighing and bracing his hands on his knees. He
-stood for a moment regarding the man in black levelly. Then he went
-down the steps and across the yard and into the outhouse.
-
-Chain, cowbell and mounting vanished.
-
-The man in black rose, still smiling. He passed the three old men,
-trailing sulphur smoke from his pipe. They shrank back, eyes wide. He
-went down into the yard and toward the outhouse.
-
-When he was halfway there, the young man emerged. They locked eyes, the
-young man's cool and determined, the other's hot and mocking and quite
-as determined.
-
-They passed each other, saying not a word.
-
-As the young man reached the porch steps, there came from the outhouse
-a loud _Blongle, blongle, blongle, blok, blok_, and he paused, one foot
-on the steps, lips thinned. He seated himself deliberately, and only
-then did he look around.
-
-The new bell was twice as large as the former. The chain was heavier.
-It hung from a heavy cast-iron mounting.
-
-The man in black came out. He sauntered back to the porch and seated
-himself.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Half a non-existent hour passed--non-existent, because it passed in
-_timelessness_. The young man sat quietly, seeming to ponder; the
-man in black sat as quietly, smoking his sulphur; the three old men
-sat like mice, their eyes shuttling back and forth between the two
-antagonists.
-
-At last the young man got up and walked slowly to the outhouse. The
-cowbell and its paraphernalia vanished. This time with a flash of white
-light.
-
-The man in black dropped a new lump of smoking sulphur into his pipe
-and tamped it down with his thumb. He walked to the outhouse and
-replaced the bell with a still bigger one. He yanked at the chain, and
-raucous bellsound filled the yard.
-
-He came back, and they sat around a while longer.
-
-The young man went out. The new bell vanished with a flash like
-diamond-blue lightning.
-
-The man in black sauntered out. In an enormous mounting atop the
-outhouse appeared a three-foot church bell.
-
-Its chain yanked down.
-
-_Bong-g-g--bong-g-g--bong-g-g...._
-
-The young man hurried across the yard, shoulders stiff. So quickly that
-the man in black, eyes mocking, was forced to stand aside at the very
-door of the outhouse to permit him to enter.
-
-The church bell and mounting vanished. With a clap of indignant thunder.
-
-The man in black resumed his chair on the porch. The young man came
-slowly back across the yard and sat on the steps.
-
-After a few minutes the young man said, "That wasn't very funny."
-
-"I hardly expected you to think so."
-
-"This can go on for an awfully long time you know."
-
-"I have," said the man in black, "an awfully long time. So do you."
-
-"I think that it's rather a silly thing for you to be concerning
-yourself with," the young man said. "After all, it failed to incite
-these humans to any thoughts which could really be called sinful."
-
-"Then it is an equally silly thing for _you_ to concern yourself with,
-isn't it?"
-
-"I do so because it disturbs humans at a time when they may be nearest
-to God."
-
-"I concern myself for the same reason."
-
- * * * * *
-
-A non-existent half hour passed. The young man sat on the steps, his
-white suit impeccable, face thoughtful. The man in black sat and smoked
-and smirked. The three old men waited.
-
-Out in the yard the outhouse stood, a battleground of good and evil.
-Its coat of white paint gleamed in the sun, which still stood high
-as a result of _timelessness_. Its red roof was a challenge. To the
-young man, staring moodily, the crescent in the door seemed a mocking,
-lopsided smile.
-
-On the roof stood a new and larger mounting, containing a new and
-larger cowbell, from which hung a new and heavier chain.
-
-Once the young man looked upward, as if for guidance.
-
-Once he sighed and shook his head, as if discouraged.
-
-"One of us must win," he said finally.
-
-"Always," the man in black nodded.
-
-"If I destroy that bell, you will replace it."
-
-"With a bigger one."
-
-"If you replace it, I shall destroy it."
-
-"And then I shall replace it again."
-
-"Do you really feel," asked the young man, "that so small a purpose is
-worth such an effort?"
-
-"I might ask you the same question."
-
-"Tiny building blocks may build a great edifice."
-
-"The removal of one may contribute to its ruin."
-
-The creek murmured. Out in back of the store, the bird in the elm sang
-a hesitant note, and then was silent.
-
-Charley Mason cleared his throat.
-
-The man in black turned his hot, mocking gaze on Charley. Charley
-closed his mouth so hard his teeth clicked.
-
-The young man said, "You need not fear him, mortal--only his
-temptations."
-
-"Mister--" Charley said hesitantly.
-
-"Yes?"
-
-"Something sort of has me wondering."
-
-"Yes?"
-
-"Well--I've been watching you two go at it, and--well, it sort of looks
-like this other feller has the edge on you right down the line. I mean,
-like he was all confident, and you just don't know how to get around
-him--"
-
-The young man nodded somberly. "I have been waiting for you to make
-that observation, human. It is true. Evil has only to _be_ ... has only
-to _exist_ for its work to be half done. It is a pit; you have only
-to fall into it. While to be good, you must exert yourself to climb
-_out_ of the pit." He looked sadly at the smirking man in black. "He
-walks confidently, for he requires no more than your acceptance of him,
-your tolerance, your passivity, your apathy. How can such a dynamic
-imbalance threaten him?... He must only _be_ to be strong; you must
-_act_ to make him weak."
-
-The young man got up and stretched his arms. He looked upward at the
-sky again, and seemed to be listening. He shrugged a little.
-
-"It has been pointed out to me," he said, "that I have demonstrated
-sufficiently--now there are other matters to be attended to. I will
-destroy the bell once again ... but mark these words well, humans: the
-Dark One will create another--and it, like all his creations, will be
-a potential for evil. Not a large evil, perhaps, in this case, nor
-an evil in itself by the simple fact of its existence--rather his
-creations represent the potential of evil _within yourselves_. After he
-goes, I urge that you take down the bell and throw it away ... destroy
-it ... for as you have seen he is powerless to prevent that. If he
-creates another, cast it aside also. Keep doing so. The bell is but
-the symbol, the temptation: the conquest of evil can take place only
-in your own souls; you must _act_ in the face of that temptation. The
-battleground is not this town, nor this yard, nor that structure, but
-in _yourselves_. In you is the pit; in you must be the strength and
-will to escape it. Do you understand?"
-
-Three nods.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The young man looked into their minds for the last time, to assure
-himself of their purity.
-
-And in Charley Mason's mind he saw a tiny, half-hidden thought that
-struck him so forcibly that he almost smiled. Deep in Charley's mind,
-beneath all his awe and wonder at the present situation, almost on a
-subconscious level, Charley's sense of humor was still working--the
-sense of humor that had come up with the cowbell joke in the first
-place.
-
-Now, in Charley's mind, was a solution for the present difficulty. Not
-a solution, actually; for the realities of the problem were already
-solved--solved in the minds of the three old men and their firm resolve
-to do nothing ever again that would precipitate this kind of Heavenly
-and Satanic tug-of-war in the arena of their souls.
-
-But it would end this business of bell/no bell very nicely. And not
-inappropriately, the young man thought. He would arrange the situation
-just as Charley was mentally picturing it. And seeing what Charley had
-in mind finally brought a smile to the young man's face.
-
-He walked across the yard and entered the outhouse. The bell and chain
-and mounting vanished. This time the young man was gone from sight
-just a little longer than any time previously, and when he came out he
-looked just a tiny bit expectant.
-
-He waved in friendly fashion at the three men on the porch and rose
-into the sky, faster and faster until he disappeared into the sun.
-
-The man in black got up from his chair and knocked out his pipe on a
-heel--or rather, where a heel should have been, for it was now evident
-for the first time that he had black hooves instead of feet.
-
-The wad of sulphur fell to the boards and smoked and stank.
-
-"He was right, you know," he said. "The battle was in yourselves. And
-I suppose I've lost. I seem to be losing more and more these days ...
-though I'm by no means through. I suppose if I put up another bell,
-you'll just take it down." He sighed and stretched his long black-clad
-arms wide, as the young man had done. "Well, it's been diverting. I
-think I _will_ put up another bell--just for the Hell of it."
-
-He went down the steps, across the yard, into the outhouse.
-
-An enormous cowbell appeared on the roof--a prince of cowbells, a
-cowbell fit for the neck of Babe, the giant blue ox of Paul Bunyan.
-From it hung an inch-thick chain.
-
-The chain yanked down, the cowbell went _BLONGLE, BLONGLE, BLOK, BLOK,
-BLOK!_--and Charley's plan which the young man had arranged before
-leaving the confines of the outhouse became evident.
-
-There was a loud flushing sound. A herculean flush. The walls collapsed
-inward with a giant roar and an enormous swoosh and a gargantuan
-gurgle. A moment later there was only a deep hole in the ground where
-the outhouse had stood. And then the sides of the hole crumbled in to
-form a shallow pit.
-
-_Timelessness_ ended.
-
-Luke scratched his head and stared from Sam over to Charley. "Did you
-two dream the same thing I did?" his voice was awed.
-
-Sam pointed over to where the pit made a raw scar in the ground.
-"Weren't no dream. Or if it was, we're still asleep."
-
-Charley had a laughing glint in his eye. "We're not asleep, and it
-wasn't any dream. 'Specially the ending."
-
-Luke and Sam looked at him puzzled for a moment. Then they both laughed
-and Charley joined them.
-
-"Bet that flush was the damndest joke Satan ever had played on him!"
-Luke gasped, holding his sides.
-
-"One _hell_ of a joke, Charley," Sam choked. "What I wouldn't give to
-have seen his face!"
-
-Charley agreed. He began to laugh even harder as he wondered if there
-was any soap and water down in Gehenna. He had an idea Satan might be
-praying for some.
-
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-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<p>Charley's practical joke was usually good<br />
-for a laugh when a city feller made a rest stop;<br />
-but it also aroused heavenly concern and began&mdash;</p>
-
-<h1>The Battle of the Bells</h1>
-
-<h2>By Jerome Bixby</h2>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br />
-September 1954<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>It would happen maybe once or twice a week&mdash;never much more. Because
-things had to be just right.</p>
-
-<p>For example, it had to be daytime for it to work. At night, nobody was
-likely to notice the chain hanging down with the handle on the end of
-it.</p>
-
-<p>And naturally the victims had to be city folk. Had to be used to just
-reaching up and grabbing and pulling without a thought. Because when
-you stop to think about it, a chain like that in a place like that is
-about the most unlikely thing in the world.</p>
-
-<p>But it worked&mdash;it worked often enough to bring grins to the faces of
-any men who were around at the time, and enough to make the town women
-sometimes a little cool toward Charley Mason when they went in to buy
-things at his store. Because it was strictly a man's joke, and he was
-the man.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Owensville is a small town in western Pennsylvania. It sits low in one
-end of a green-sided valley, just a few frame houses and stores strung
-along a main street ... and that main street is on the one and only
-road that leads through the valley: a road that all the maps show to be
-a convenient and dependable connection between the Penn Turnpike and
-several other major routes, should you be heading south.</p>
-
-<p>So a lot of people drive through Owensville every week&mdash;upwards of two
-hundred or so. And there's always one or two of them in the mood to
-spend a little time in a restroom&mdash;the last Howard Johnson's is twenty
-miles back along the Turnpike, and the road down into the valley is a
-bumpy one besides, and you know what that does to your innards.</p>
-
-<p>So they come driving around the bend under the trees and their car
-wheels thump across the old wooden bridge across Miller's Creek&mdash;and
-once in a while one of them would pull off the road into the yard
-beside Charley Mason's General Store because they'd spot his
-crescent-doored outhouse standing there. Charley always kept it painted
-up so it'd be easier to see&mdash;clean white with a red roof&mdash;and over
-the door he'd lettered, big enough to see from the bridge, PUBLIC
-RESTROOM.</p>
-
-<p>Then somebody'd get out of the car and go in, and a few minutes later
-the chain that came up through the roof would yank down as whoever was
-inside reached up and pulled the handle.</p>
-
-<p>And then the big old cowbell on the roof&mdash;the biggest and noisiest
-Charley'd been able to find&mdash;would dance around in the mounting he'd
-made out of an angle-iron, and go <i>Blongle, blongle, blok!</i></p>
-
-<p>After a minute the door'd open and the city folk would come out,
-looking puzzled and kind of sneaky. They'd give a glance up at the roof
-and see the cowbell mounted there. Some of them might grin at the way
-they'd been had. But mostly they'd get into their car and drive off
-maybe a little faster'n they would've ordinarily.</p>
-
-<p>If it was a woman, it was five times as funny. Because some of the
-older men were always sitting around on the porch of Charley's store
-playing pinochle, or lounging down by the bridge just talking, and
-when the woman would come out they'd all grin at her and those who had
-mustaches might twiddle them a bit, and she'd get redder'n a bushel of
-tomatoes.</p>
-
-<p>Women drove off faster'n anybody, usually.</p>
-
-<p>Some townspeople said it wasn't a very good way to advertise Owensville
-to passersby. But Charley said that a town of thirty-two people didn't
-have to worry about advertising one way or the other&mdash;it just needed
-diversion. And since it was on his property, the cowbell stayed up.</p>
-
-<p>It was just a gag. It never really hurt anybody. Charley, who could
-incline to philosophy when it suited him, said that the only person it
-could hurt was somebody who was plain ashamed of being human. And, on
-the personal side, he admitted he got a kick out of seeing them all
-flustered up that way.</p>
-
-<p>Probably the outhouse and the bell'd still be there, and Charley'd
-still be getting his laughs, if the fat lady in the green convertible
-hadn't decided to do some praying.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>It was a late July afternoon, and plenty hot. The sun was reflecting
-like yellow-green fire off the hills around, and everybody was sitting
-in the shade.</p>
-
-<p>Charley Mason and Sam Knudson were sitting on the store porch playing
-gin, and Luke Yates was just coming up the steps, when they heard a car
-approaching.</p>
-
-<p>Charley and Sam paused in their game and Luke turned his gray head to
-look.</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe this time," Charley said.</p>
-
-<p>Luke Yates studied the dust cloud moving toward town above the tops of
-the trees.</p>
-
-<p>"Coming pretty fast," he said. "Bet they drive right on through."</p>
-
-<p>"A dollar," said Charley. "You bounce harder when you drive fast."</p>
-
-<p>"It's on," said Luke.</p>
-
-<p>Waiting, Charley Mason leaned back in his chair and half-closed his
-eyes, a lean, bald man in shirt-sleeves, the hand holding his cards
-relaxed in his lap. They could hear the murmur of the creek carrying
-away the runoff from last night's rain, and the air was sweet with the
-breath of the fields off down the valley.</p>
-
-<p>"Rich man," said Charley, looking across the yard at his outhouse,
-"poor man, beggar man, thief. In there, you're all alike in the eyes of
-God, I guess."</p>
-
-<p>Sam Knudson nodded thoughtfully. "In the eyes of <i>something</i>, at any
-rate."</p>
-
-<p>"All alike," said Luke Yates.</p>
-
-<p>"Can't see your wallet from <i>there</i>," Charley said.</p>
-
-<p>"Your brains either," said Luke.</p>
-
-<p>After a moment, Charley said, "Some people's brains, maybe."</p>
-
-<p>They all nodded.</p>
-
-<p>A green convertible driven by a fat woman came around the bend,
-trailing dust, and rattled across the bridge.</p>
-
-<p>"New York license plates," Luke said, squinting.</p>
-
-<p>"Yep," said Charley.</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe she'll bite."</p>
-
-<p>"If she stops," Charley said, "maybe she will."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The green convertible swerved off the road and pulled to a halt beside
-the store. The fat lady got out and looked around for a moment,
-blinking in the sun. She saw the three old men up on the porch and
-seemed to hesitate. Then she went around the back of the car and headed
-for the outhouse, walking a little defiantly, head up, her steps steady
-and deliberate.</p>
-
-<p>The men exchanged glances. Luke handed Charley a dollar bill.</p>
-
-<p>"Do her some good, maybe," Charley said. "Shy type."</p>
-
-<p>"Like we didn't know how it was," Sam said, shaking his head.</p>
-
-<p>"Or maybe," Charley said, "because we do. Funny."</p>
-
-<p>Luke sat down on the bottom-most step and scuffed the dirt of the yard
-with a toe. They watched the cowbell atop the outhouse, and listened to
-the murmur of the creek, and heard a bird sing in the big elm out back
-of the store, and waited.</p>
-
-<p>The chain that came up through the outhouse roof yanked down.</p>
-
-<p>The cowbell went <i>Blongle, blongle, blok!</i></p>
-
-<p>Charley puffed his pipe in satisfaction. Luke and Sam grinned. They
-waited for the fat lady to emerge.</p>
-
-<p>When she did, a moment later, it was looking puzzled as usual&mdash;but
-there was a difference. She stalked ten feet away from the outhouse,
-about-faced, and stared up at the cowbell. The men saw the back of her
-neck get red and redder still. Then she turned and came toward the
-porch. Her eyes were narrowed, her hands were clenched into fists, her
-mouth was a determined slash.</p>
-
-<p>She marched across the yard and stood facing the three men on the
-porch. She put her fists on her hips and glared.</p>
-
-<p>Luke and Sam stopped grinning. Charley's pipe drooped.</p>
-
-<p>The sun beat down on the valley, the town, the yard, the outhouse,
-the fat woman. Her brow was shiny with perspiration. She stood there,
-turned her cold blue glare on one man after another, like you'd sweep a
-gatling against enemy ranks.</p>
-
-<p>Luke said uncomfortably, "Howdy, ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>"You old lechers!" said the fat woman tightly.</p>
-
-<p>Charley and Luke and Sam exchanged dismayed looks.</p>
-
-<p>"Now, ma'am&mdash;" Charley began.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't say anything, you old lechers," the fat woman spat. "I don't
-want to hear your gloating, oily voices! Of all the lecherous,
-salacious, lascivious things to do!"</p>
-
-<p>"Why," Charley said doubtfully, "I guess we're a little old to be all
-those things&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"You're never too old to be evil-minded!" she snapped. "Even if your
-bodies are too old for unGodliness!" Her positive and indicating gaze
-raked them up and down, and she saw the cards which Charley held in his
-lap.</p>
-
-<p>"Playing cards, too!" she said, her lips curling. "Well, I guess <i>that</i>
-follows!"</p>
-
-<p>"Follows what, ma'am?" Luke asked puzzledly.</p>
-
-<p>She saw the brown beer bottle resting on the box beside Charley's chair.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Alcohol!</i>" she hissed.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>She stood glaring up at them, her breath coming fast and shallow, in a
-half-crouch that led Charley Mason to wonder if she planned to climb
-right over the porch rail and lace into them physically.</p>
-
-<p>Then, as they watched in wary silence, her anger seemed to abate a
-little; over a period of five seconds her fists slowly unclenched, her
-breath slowed, she straightened.</p>
-
-<p>She said in a low voice, "It's the work of the Devil. Anger is not the
-answer."</p>
-
-<p>"The Devil, ma'am?" Charley asked.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>He</i> has made you do this&mdash;it is a device to keep lewd and licentious
-thoughts uppermost in your minds and corrupt your immortal souls. I
-suppose I shouldn't blame you for listening to him ... so <i>few</i> of us
-<i>are</i> able to resist his honeyed mouthings."</p>
-
-<p>"Ma'am," Luke said, "I don't think you should get so excited on a hot
-day like this. Maybe a cold coke&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I'll pray," the fat lady said. "I'll pray for the Lord to undo this
-Devil's work. I'll pray that your souls be cleansed of the evil
-thoughts the Dark One has put there." Her pale blue eyes seemed a
-trifle fixed, and now she smiled, looking through the men who watched
-her worriedly. "I&mdash;I'm almost proud that I should have suffered this
-humiliation in order to help Him in His work&mdash;it is a small price to
-pay, to have been the object of your lustful thoughts, if I can save
-your souls by telling the Lord what you are doing and seeing to it
-that He stops you!"</p>
-
-<p>She gave them a pitying, sympathetic look. "You hate me now," she said,
-"but when you are pure you will thank me."</p>
-
-<p>She turned away and walked toward her car, head bowed.</p>
-
-<p>After a moment Luke got up from the steps and sank into a chair on the
-porch. "Does lust mean what I think it means?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Guess it does," Charley said.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, back when I <i>could</i> lust, I wouldn't ever have lusted <i>her</i>."</p>
-
-<p>They watched her get in and drive off, head still down in an attitude
-of prayer, eyes up so she could drive. The car reached the other end of
-the main street, followed the road into the trees, and vanished.</p>
-
-<p>Charley stared contemplatively across the yard at his outhouse.</p>
-
-<p>"Work of the Devil, huh?" he mused. "Well, now doesn't that beat all! I
-bet Heaven would kick that prayer right out of court!"</p>
-
-<p>"No," said a firm voice. "It was heard."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The three old men turned and saw a tall, handsome, blond young man,
-dressed in a neat and utterly clean white suit, standing in the
-center of the yard. His face wore an expression of perfect peace and
-abounding love.</p>
-
-<p>Actually, he wasn't <i>quite</i> standing in the yard yet. When they turned,
-his feet were about four feet above the ground. As they watched, he
-floated slowly down until he was standing straight, and tall and
-smiling a little.</p>
-
-<p>At that moment, <i>timelessness</i> descended upon the scene&mdash;upon Charley
-Mason's store, the yard, the outhouse. <i>Timelessness</i> bounded the
-area from one edge of Charley's yard to the other, and from the road
-clear to the woods out back; and that <i>timelessness</i> extended downward
-to a perfect point at the very center of the Earth, and extended upward
-in a perfect cone to Heaven; and within its boundaries nothing that
-happened was visible to the outside world, or indeed even "happened"
-so far as the outside world was concerned: for it all happened in
-<i>timelessness</i> ... in one of those particles of time-substance which
-exists <i>between</i> microseconds on Earth's time continuum: particles so
-small that they are of use only to angels, who in their work must often
-get between people and their intended deeds faster than seems possible.</p>
-
-<p>The young man's calm eyes looked into the minds of the three old
-men on the porch, and saw no evidence there of lewd or lascivious
-thoughts of the magnitude reported by the fat lady in her prayer. This
-did not surprise him, for exaggeration is the backbone of prayer, and
-the Heavenly Workers are used to it. In particular are they used to
-nuisances like the fat lady, who continually turn in false alarms.</p>
-
-<p>Closing his eyes, the young man contacted his secretary-cherubim in
-his office in Heaven. The cherubim immediately returned the dossiers
-of Luke and Sam and Charley Mason to the Heavenly Files, with no
-additional notations on the debit side.</p>
-
-<p>That done&mdash;for nothing is so urgent in the eyes of Heaven as the latest
-data on souls&mdash;the young man turned his attention to the outhouse.</p>
-
-<p>He saw the cowbell, and his lips pursed.</p>
-
-<p>He left the porch, walking lightly, and crossed the yard to the
-outhouse. The three old men watched him dreamily, unmoving,
-comprehending, gripped by <i>timelessness</i> and a sense of wonder.</p>
-
-<p>The young man opened the crescented door and went in. The chain yanked.
-The cowbell went <i>Blongle, blongle, blok!</i></p>
-
-<p>The young man reappeared in the door and looked at the old men on the
-porch. He pursed his lips again and shook his head reprimandingly. He
-disappeared again.</p>
-
-<p>A second later, the cowbell and chain and angle-iron disappeared too.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The young man came out, dusting his hands with a white handkerchief. He
-came back across the yard and mounted the steps. He seated himself on
-the porch railing, where he could face the three old men.</p>
-
-<p>"Shame on you," he said.</p>
-
-<p>The men cast their eyes downward.</p>
-
-<p>"The lady's accusations were somewhat excessive," the young man said.
-"Your motives seem not to have been primarily lascivious, and I have so
-informed Heaven. But still ... don't you think you should be ashamed of
-yourselves?" He paused. "You may nod if you wish."</p>
-
-<p>The men nodded, eyes dreamy.</p>
-
-<p>"After all," the young man said, "isn't that rather a snide trick to
-play on tired travelers who seek your hospitality?"</p>
-
-<p>Charley Mason's mouth worked; his Adam's apple bobbed.</p>
-
-<p>"Speak," said the young man.</p>
-
-<p>"Gosh," Charley said in a low voice, "it was just a little joke. We
-never had nothing else in mind&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I know," the young man said. "I have discounted that element. I am
-speaking of the unkindness of the prank&mdash;the discomfiture which you
-impose on its victims."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh," said Charley. "I&mdash;gosh, it just embarrassed them a little bit,
-that's all. I mean ... that's all, isn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"No," said the young man sternly, "there is more. Think a moment,
-humans, upon that common structure in the yard ... think deeply, and
-you will realize that there is much more to it than meets the eye."</p>
-
-<p>"Guess so," mumbled Charley.</p>
-
-<p>"It is a haven ... a place of wondrous solitude ... a refuge for those
-who would contemplate without interruption, as many a weary traveler
-yearns for."</p>
-
-<p>"Guess so."</p>
-
-<p>"In what other situation can you be so completely alone ... in a
-perfect isolation not only permitted but sanctioned by your society?
-Why, humans, I could tell you of the most extraordinary moments of
-piety, of philosophical reflection, of artistic conception which we
-have recorded as occurring under such circumstances...."</p>
-
-<p>"I never thought of it that way, I guess," Charley said slowly. "I
-always did sort of think it leveled you off, though."</p>
-
-<p>The young man eyed them soberly.</p>
-
-<p>"In late afternoon," he said, "in the confines of the rustic outhouse,
-settled happily, hearing the quaint and natural sounds of the insects
-in the field, the flutterings of birds from branch to branch ... do you
-know that in this day it is the only waking place where one may flee
-for the inner life?"</p>
-
-<p>The old men looked down guiltily.</p>
-
-<p>"It is ever a reminder of one's mortality," the young man said.</p>
-
-<p>"It is Man in his true aristocratic state," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"And yet at his most humble," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"And now I will leave," he said. "I hope you have seen the light, and
-will no longer impose your crude, cruel joke on those who trust you for
-a moment's peace."</p>
-
-<p>He stood up. "I hardly think that it was the work of the Devil,
-however, as the lady seemed to think&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>A cloud seemed to come over the sun&mdash;but there were no clouds, so
-perhaps the sun dimmed. The birds in the trees were suddenly silent.
-Even the rustling leaves seemed to pause. It grew still darker, and a
-chill breeze sprang up.</p>
-
-<p>A head, whose face was dark and sharp and saturnine, appeared in the
-center of the yard.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>As the young man and the three old men watched, a tall, dark, gaunt man
-in a neatly tailored black suit rose from the ground and stood eying
-them mockingly.</p>
-
-<p>"Wasn't it?" he said in a thin, dry voice, and laughed.</p>
-
-<p>The young man's lips tightened. He said nothing. The three old men were
-shrunken back in their chairs, staring.</p>
-
-<p>The Devil&mdash;or perhaps the man in black was only <i>part</i> of the Devil,
-for mysterious and complex are the ways he influences from his bronze
-throne in the exact center of midwestern Gehenna&mdash;turned and sauntered
-to the outhouse. He entered.</p>
-
-<p>A moment later the cowbell and chain and angle-iron reappeared&mdash;though
-not quite as they had been. The chain seemed a little heavier, the
-cowbell a little larger and more shiny.</p>
-
-<p>The chain was yanked. The cowbell went <i>Blongle, blongle, blok,
-blok!</i>&mdash;a metallic sound of triumph.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black came out smirking. He made his way across the yard and
-mounted the porch steps. The young man frowned and lifted a shoulder so
-the fabrics of their clothing would not touch.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black went to the opposite end of the porch and sat down in
-a chair there. He looked out over the bridge and the murmuring creek
-and the trees beyond and took a pipe from a pocket. From another pocket
-he took a live coal, which he dropped into the pipe. He puffed, and
-sulphur-smell filled the air.</p>
-
-<p>The young man got up, sighing and bracing his hands on his knees. He
-stood for a moment regarding the man in black levelly. Then he went
-down the steps and across the yard and into the outhouse.</p>
-
-<p>Chain, cowbell and mounting vanished.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black rose, still smiling. He passed the three old men,
-trailing sulphur smoke from his pipe. They shrank back, eyes wide. He
-went down into the yard and toward the outhouse.</p>
-
-<p>When he was halfway there, the young man emerged. They locked eyes, the
-young man's cool and determined, the other's hot and mocking and quite
-as determined.</p>
-
-<p>They passed each other, saying not a word.</p>
-
-<p>As the young man reached the porch steps, there came from the outhouse
-a loud <i>Blongle, blongle, blongle, blok, blok</i>, and he paused, one foot
-on the steps, lips thinned. He seated himself deliberately, and only
-then did he look around.</p>
-
-<p>The new bell was twice as large as the former. The chain was heavier.
-It hung from a heavy cast-iron mounting.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black came out. He sauntered back to the porch and seated
-himself.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Half a non-existent hour passed&mdash;non-existent, because it passed in
-<i>timelessness</i>. The young man sat quietly, seeming to ponder; the
-man in black sat as quietly, smoking his sulphur; the three old men
-sat like mice, their eyes shuttling back and forth between the two
-antagonists.</p>
-
-<p>At last the young man got up and walked slowly to the outhouse. The
-cowbell and its paraphernalia vanished. This time with a flash of white
-light.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black dropped a new lump of smoking sulphur into his pipe
-and tamped it down with his thumb. He walked to the outhouse and
-replaced the bell with a still bigger one. He yanked at the chain, and
-raucous bellsound filled the yard.</p>
-
-<p>He came back, and they sat around a while longer.</p>
-
-<p>The young man went out. The new bell vanished with a flash like
-diamond-blue lightning.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black sauntered out. In an enormous mounting atop the
-outhouse appeared a three-foot church bell.</p>
-
-<p>Its chain yanked down.</p>
-
-<p><i>Bong-g-g&mdash;bong-g-g&mdash;bong-g-g....</i></p>
-
-<p>The young man hurried across the yard, shoulders stiff. So quickly that
-the man in black, eyes mocking, was forced to stand aside at the very
-door of the outhouse to permit him to enter.</p>
-
-<p>The church bell and mounting vanished. With a clap of indignant thunder.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black resumed his chair on the porch. The young man came
-slowly back across the yard and sat on the steps.</p>
-
-<p>After a few minutes the young man said, "That wasn't very funny."</p>
-
-<p>"I hardly expected you to think so."</p>
-
-<p>"This can go on for an awfully long time you know."</p>
-
-<p>"I have," said the man in black, "an awfully long time. So do you."</p>
-
-<p>"I think that it's rather a silly thing for you to be concerning
-yourself with," the young man said. "After all, it failed to incite
-these humans to any thoughts which could really be called sinful."</p>
-
-<p>"Then it is an equally silly thing for <i>you</i> to concern yourself with,
-isn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"I do so because it disturbs humans at a time when they may be nearest
-to God."</p>
-
-<p>"I concern myself for the same reason."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A non-existent half hour passed. The young man sat on the steps, his
-white suit impeccable, face thoughtful. The man in black sat and smoked
-and smirked. The three old men waited.</p>
-
-<p>Out in the yard the outhouse stood, a battleground of good and evil.
-Its coat of white paint gleamed in the sun, which still stood high
-as a result of <i>timelessness</i>. Its red roof was a challenge. To the
-young man, staring moodily, the crescent in the door seemed a mocking,
-lopsided smile.</p>
-
-<p>On the roof stood a new and larger mounting, containing a new and
-larger cowbell, from which hung a new and heavier chain.</p>
-
-<p>Once the young man looked upward, as if for guidance.</p>
-
-<p>Once he sighed and shook his head, as if discouraged.</p>
-
-<p>"One of us must win," he said finally.</p>
-
-<p>"Always," the man in black nodded.</p>
-
-<p>"If I destroy that bell, you will replace it."</p>
-
-<p>"With a bigger one."</p>
-
-<p>"If you replace it, I shall destroy it."</p>
-
-<p>"And then I shall replace it again."</p>
-
-<p>"Do you really feel," asked the young man, "that so small a purpose is
-worth such an effort?"</p>
-
-<p>"I might ask you the same question."</p>
-
-<p>"Tiny building blocks may build a great edifice."</p>
-
-<p>"The removal of one may contribute to its ruin."</p>
-
-<p>The creek murmured. Out in back of the store, the bird in the elm sang
-a hesitant note, and then was silent.</p>
-
-<p>Charley Mason cleared his throat.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black turned his hot, mocking gaze on Charley. Charley
-closed his mouth so hard his teeth clicked.</p>
-
-<p>The young man said, "You need not fear him, mortal&mdash;only his
-temptations."</p>
-
-<p>"Mister&mdash;" Charley said hesitantly.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?"</p>
-
-<p>"Something sort of has me wondering."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well&mdash;I've been watching you two go at it, and&mdash;well, it sort of looks
-like this other feller has the edge on you right down the line. I mean,
-like he was all confident, and you just don't know how to get around
-him&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>The young man nodded somberly. "I have been waiting for you to make
-that observation, human. It is true. Evil has only to <i>be</i> ... has only
-to <i>exist</i> for its work to be half done. It is a pit; you have only
-to fall into it. While to be good, you must exert yourself to climb
-<i>out</i> of the pit." He looked sadly at the smirking man in black. "He
-walks confidently, for he requires no more than your acceptance of him,
-your tolerance, your passivity, your apathy. How can such a dynamic
-imbalance threaten him?... He must only <i>be</i> to be strong; you must
-<i>act</i> to make him weak."</p>
-
-<p>The young man got up and stretched his arms. He looked upward at the
-sky again, and seemed to be listening. He shrugged a little.</p>
-
-<p>"It has been pointed out to me," he said, "that I have demonstrated
-sufficiently&mdash;now there are other matters to be attended to. I will
-destroy the bell once again ... but mark these words well, humans: the
-Dark One will create another&mdash;and it, like all his creations, will be
-a potential for evil. Not a large evil, perhaps, in this case, nor
-an evil in itself by the simple fact of its existence&mdash;rather his
-creations represent the potential of evil <i>within yourselves</i>. After he
-goes, I urge that you take down the bell and throw it away ... destroy
-it ... for as you have seen he is powerless to prevent that. If he
-creates another, cast it aside also. Keep doing so. The bell is but
-the symbol, the temptation: the conquest of evil can take place only
-in your own souls; you must <i>act</i> in the face of that temptation. The
-battleground is not this town, nor this yard, nor that structure, but
-in <i>yourselves</i>. In you is the pit; in you must be the strength and
-will to escape it. Do you understand?"</p>
-
-<p>Three nods.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The young man looked into their minds for the last time, to assure
-himself of their purity.</p>
-
-<p>And in Charley Mason's mind he saw a tiny, half-hidden thought that
-struck him so forcibly that he almost smiled. Deep in Charley's mind,
-beneath all his awe and wonder at the present situation, almost on a
-subconscious level, Charley's sense of humor was still working&mdash;the
-sense of humor that had come up with the cowbell joke in the first
-place.</p>
-
-<p>Now, in Charley's mind, was a solution for the present difficulty. Not
-a solution, actually; for the realities of the problem were already
-solved&mdash;solved in the minds of the three old men and their firm resolve
-to do nothing ever again that would precipitate this kind of Heavenly
-and Satanic tug-of-war in the arena of their souls.</p>
-
-<p>But it would end this business of bell/no bell very nicely. And not
-inappropriately, the young man thought. He would arrange the situation
-just as Charley was mentally picturing it. And seeing what Charley had
-in mind finally brought a smile to the young man's face.</p>
-
-<p>He walked across the yard and entered the outhouse. The bell and chain
-and mounting vanished. This time the young man was gone from sight
-just a little longer than any time previously, and when he came out he
-looked just a tiny bit expectant.</p>
-
-<p>He waved in friendly fashion at the three men on the porch and rose
-into the sky, faster and faster until he disappeared into the sun.</p>
-
-<p>The man in black got up from his chair and knocked out his pipe on a
-heel&mdash;or rather, where a heel should have been, for it was now evident
-for the first time that he had black hooves instead of feet.</p>
-
-<p>The wad of sulphur fell to the boards and smoked and stank.</p>
-
-<p>"He was right, you know," he said. "The battle was in yourselves. And
-I suppose I've lost. I seem to be losing more and more these days ...
-though I'm by no means through. I suppose if I put up another bell,
-you'll just take it down." He sighed and stretched his long black-clad
-arms wide, as the young man had done. "Well, it's been diverting. I
-think I <i>will</i> put up another bell&mdash;just for the Hell of it."</p>
-
-<p>He went down the steps, across the yard, into the outhouse.</p>
-
-<p>An enormous cowbell appeared on the roof&mdash;a prince of cowbells, a
-cowbell fit for the neck of Babe, the giant blue ox of Paul Bunyan.
-From it hung an inch-thick chain.</p>
-
-<p>The chain yanked down, the cowbell went <i>BLONGLE, BLONGLE, BLOK, BLOK,
-BLOK!</i>&mdash;and Charley's plan which the young man had arranged before
-leaving the confines of the outhouse became evident.</p>
-
-<p>There was a loud flushing sound. A herculean flush. The walls collapsed
-inward with a giant roar and an enormous swoosh and a gargantuan
-gurgle. A moment later there was only a deep hole in the ground where
-the outhouse had stood. And then the sides of the hole crumbled in to
-form a shallow pit.</p>
-
-<p><i>Timelessness</i> ended.</p>
-
-<p>Luke scratched his head and stared from Sam over to Charley. "Did you
-two dream the same thing I did?" his voice was awed.</p>
-
-<p>Sam pointed over to where the pit made a raw scar in the ground.
-"Weren't no dream. Or if it was, we're still asleep."</p>
-
-<p>Charley had a laughing glint in his eye. "We're not asleep, and it
-wasn't any dream. 'Specially the ending."</p>
-
-<p>Luke and Sam looked at him puzzled for a moment. Then they both laughed
-and Charley joined them.</p>
-
-<p>"Bet that flush was the damndest joke Satan ever had played on him!"
-Luke gasped, holding his sides.</p>
-
-<p>"One <i>hell</i> of a joke, Charley," Sam choked. "What I wouldn't give to
-have seen his face!"</p>
-
-<p>Charley agreed. He began to laugh even harder as he wondered if there
-was any soap and water down in Gehenna. He had an idea Satan might be
-praying for some.</p>
-
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