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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/6636.txt b/6636.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8fcbad --- /dev/null +++ b/6636.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4135 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Hold Up Your Heads, Girls!, by Annie H. Ryder + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Hold Up Your Heads, Girls! + +Author: Annie H. Ryder + +Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6636] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on January 8, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, HOLD UP YOUR HEADS, GIRLS! *** + + + + +Andrea Ball, Steve Schulze, Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + +HOLD UP YOUR HEADS, GIRLS! + +HELPS FOR GIRLS, IN SCHOOL AND OUT. + + +BY ANNIE H RYDER. + +"'Handsome is that handsome does,--hold up your heads, girls!' was +the language of Primrose in the play when addressing her daughters." +WHITTIER + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1886, BY D. LOTHROP & Co. + + + +To My Girls Everywhere. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + +INTRODUCTION +I. HOW TO TALK +II. HOW TO GET ACQUAINTED WITH NATURE +III. HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF WORK +IV. WHAT CAN I DO? +V. WHAT TO STUDY +VI. ENGLISH LITERATURE AND OTHER STUDIES +VII. THE COMMONPLACE +VIII. MOODS +IX. WOMANLINESS +X. GIRLS AND THEIR FRIENDS +XI. YOUTHS AND MAIDENS + + + + +HOLD UP YOUR HEADS, GIRLS! + +INTRODUCTION. + +When we make an object with our hands, we frequently notice that the +most care is needed as we near its completion. A false stroke of the +brush will change an angel into a demon, a misguided blow of the mallet +will shiver the statue into fragments: so, in the work which attempts +to form a noble womanhood, all the efforts of years of training will +be marred or rendered ineffectual, if the right influence, proper +occupation, and wholesome encouragement are not given to a girl in +the period which borders on womanhood. We wait for the rose to open; +but if we allow the atmosphere to become impure, or otherwise prevent +its development, its life will stagnate, it will refuse to give out +odor, and the world will lose that beauty it might have enjoyed. + +Susceptible as girls are, vigorous, affectionate, cheerful and aspiring, +if they are deprived suddenly of good influence and encouragement, +the very conditions of their growth will be removed, and they, like +the rose, will shut their lives within their lives. + +There is no time in a girl's life so neglected, and yet so dependent +upon sympathy, as that when she is first thrown upon her own efforts. +Too old to be any longer led, she is not old enough to be left without +guidance. This time usually comes when she has finished the ordinary +school course and finds herself, all at once, waiting, either for an +entrance into what is called society, or for an opportunity to earn +her living. + +There is a certain lightness of heart, carelessness, _abandon_, +maybe, about girls while they are still in school, which is both +delightful and natural, however provoking to teachers. Every thing +is very bright now; and if the girl learns her lessons, is obedient, +and tries to think, she believes that somehow things will all come +around right with time. All at once she is confounded. She awakes in +the morning, and finds that school does not keep to-day,--no, nor +to-morrow! What is to be done? Going and coming, which get to be more +going and coming; dish-washing, which daily increases into dish-washing; +or _ennui_, which degenerates into melancholy, ensue. Life is not what +the school-girl supposed. Six months of it make her older than a whole +school-year. + +Girls look upon graduation day as a grand portal through which they +are to enter into a palace glistening with splendor; but, lo! when +they reach that portal, they see only a very low gate-way, while a +hedge, thorny and high, shuts out the palace. How to get through? +Rather, how are their elders to make them see that, with the patience +and energy of the prince in the story, they can cause the hedge to turn +to roses, and open wide before them? + +A girl needs, first of all, encouragement. She should not be told what +things are to oppose her, if she has ambition to excel in a certain +direction, but what things are to help her to attain her purpose. She +wants praise, but not flattery. A girl knows when she is flattered +sooner than a boy. If conceit is engendered from praise, that will +do no harm. Time will destroy conceit, if a girl has much to do with +sensible people and sensible books. + +A girl needs to be trusted. Nothing will be more efficacious than making +her feel of certain importance and usefulness to others. It is evident +she wants sympathy in her endeavors and disappointments. I do not mean +that she should be indulged, or that she should not be made to work +out her own salvation; but that she should realize that, if she tries, +some one will know and bless her, and if she stumbles, some one will +help her up again. Just as truly should she know that, if she is +careless of endeavor or negligent of her days, she will meet with +disparagement and punishment. + +It is most necessary for a girl to have a motive placed before her, +that she may bring out whatever undeveloped faculties may be latent +within her. This motive may be a comparatively slight one,--no more +than the training of a window-garden, the collecting of newspaper slips, +or the making of bread; but, if she does her particular work better +than others, she will attain a certain degree of superiority, and her +time has, for her, been as profitably filled as that which another +person devotes to a larger work. By motive, let me repeat, I mean +something given a girl to do which shall be especially her work: not +always an ambitious one,--a desire to shine in society, letters, or the +arts,--but something just for herself, with its own rewards. + +How much more numerous the motives which can be given an American girl +than one who lives on foreign soil! Look at the German girl, for +example. Her country arbitrarily divides its people into high and low. +The peasant maiden has so long stayed one side of the barrier, she +thinks she always must; so, with her scanty loaf of black bread near +her on the ground, she leans against a tree, knits her stocking, and +tends the flock. When night comes she goes home to her rude stone +cottage, lifts a prayer to the Virgin, if she is an Austrian, and one +for the king. Her mind never strays beyond the village gate. The more +fortunate girls in towns and cities receive the allotted years of study +in the schools, and when these end at fifteen, about the time of +confirmation, the girls are put into families away from home to get a +year's experience in domestic matters. Then they marry, and obediently +follow the commands of their husbands. + +It may be thought that a society girl needs no incentives to a right +use of time and privileges, but she most certainly does. Her +responsibility is great: she will either sway a circle or a household. +Her influence will as surely affect her associates as did the influence +of those celebrated French women whose _salons_ were the places where +battles were fought and decisive moments gained. Society is in great +need of women: it always will be. Now this period of young womanhood is +precisely the time for cultivating those principles which will later be +most helpful to society. + +Surely, for those who are to bear more heavily the weight of life, +who are to work as they wish not; in fact, in a way against which all +but principle struggles,--certainly, for these, there is every need +of motive. This class increases daily, and the discouragement and +distrust of its members grow with sad rapidity. + +Girls, girls everywhere,--my girls,--do not think I mean to flatter +you! Do not think I mean to praise you more highly than I ought! I +simply want you to know your own capabilities, and to realize that +much, very much, depends upon every one of you. How much there is for +you to do! You are frank and honest now, or ought to be; you have not +learned to imitate the falseness of so-called proprieties. It is fully +possible to keep young, genuine, girlish even, and at the same time +to be womanly. The world is not sunshiny enough; there are too many +November days in the year: bring fairer weather and fresh June mornings. + +You are not awkward, even if you have not learned just how to be +graceful; you are not useless, though you have not yet acquired all +the knowledge of the kitchen, laundry, and sewing-room; nor are you +unprofitable because you do not now earn the so many dollars a week +you will sometime gain. There is large hope of you, even when you forget +yourselves in the use of fashionable slang, because your minds and +hearts are open to receive kind warnings, and to learn to despise such +terms as mar the beauty of easy, delicate speech. + +You want courage and physical strength outside of your lively +affections. You want wisdom and long training in the use of books. +You need to be occupied, to be active in brain and heart and hand; +busied even with more than the duties assigned you; occupied in times +of rest as well as in times of labor. + +You should see more and feel no less. Indeed, the power of observation +is most cultivating and most easily developed. + +You ought to be more familiar with Nature,--the sky, and trees, and +fields; not always to have a scientific knowledge of it, but a certain +familiarity, so that you may ever be surrounded by a glorious company +of friends. You need to know the value of literature, and to adorn +yourselves with the graces of conversation. + +Those qualities which contribute most to womanhood and character you +should be most eager to make your own. + +May I talk with you about such subjects as may suggest ways of educating +your minds, of benefiting your bodies, and of helping, in some little +measure, towards that growth of soul which should be the aim of all +instruction? + + + + +I. + +HOW TO TALK. + + +I saw a group of girls the other day bidding one another good-by after +a year together at boarding-school. It was the merriest, most sparkling, +set of people!--girls in every sense!--bobbing about, kissing, tuning +their voices in all sorts of keys, with apparently not one care nor +the shadow of an unpleasant memory! How I longed to get right in among +them, and be hugged with the rest! though the hugging came along with +armfuls of umbrellas, bags, hats, rackets, and whatever else would +not go into the last inch of trunk. Pretty dresses, jaunty hats, tidy +gloves and boots they wore; but better than these were their bright, +honest faces, and the hearty words they spoke, Cheerfulness seemed +to gush out in the wildest hilarity. How they talked with their tongues, +and their eyes, and their hands! Enthusiasm sent their words racing +after each other into sentences which had no beginning and no end. + +Though you might never guess it, from the confusion of their language, +these girls were practising some of the first principles in the art +of conversation, without, indeed, being conscious of it. They were +sincere and in earnest. + +A girl is born to be a readier talker than a boy. She is usually less +positive; and, as she has more animation, more spontaneity, more +feeling, she talks much more. But somehow these natural gifts for +talking are not cultivated by her as they should be: sometimes they +are wholly disregarded. In a few years those very girls, who talked +so fluently and engrossingly, will be sitting in corners trying to +patch sentences together into what is called conversation. + +Now, my dear girls, the importance of this art of talking is so great +that. I should almost say any other art you may acquire cannot be +compared with it; in fact, it is something so necessary to us that +persons who are lacking in it stand in great danger of being +metaphorically swallowed by the words of such individuals as know the +cunning uses of language. Loosen some persons' tongues, and, no matter +what sacrifices of character, of friendship, of good training, they +have to make, they will reach the goal of their endeavor, and drive +every one else into a corner. The power of eloquence and persuasion +is mightier than any two-edged sword, and cuts down enemies like the +sickle before the harvest. Go never so determined to remain unconvinced +by certain talkers, and, before their eloquence ceases, you are enemies +to yourselves, and wonder you never thought their way before. + +Do not let me misguide you, however. Though you may be deceived by +words, finding yourselves utterly incapable of replying to argument, +still the joys you receive from the talks of certain well-minded persons +are far greater than any danger I have implied. + +What is it which makes some persons using very simple words say them +so they drop like manna into hungry minds and hearts, or electrify +with grand ideas and moving suggestions? Some will answer that it is +brightness of intellect, and a keenness of insight added to profound +thoughtfulness. I believe this in a large measure, though, if it were +always true, we should oftener be able to understand certain +full-mouthed speakers, deep thinkers, and philosophers. They do any +thing but electrify, and suggest little more than sleep and weariness. +Others will reply that successful talking is the effect of personal +magnetism. That may be true to a slight degree. When certain strangers +enter the room, we sometimes realize at once that it will be extremely +difficult to say any more than yes or no to them; while others, +previously unknown to us, may come in and draw out thoughts from us in +rapid succession,--thoughts we hardly knew we were capable of +expressing. But I would define a large part of the personal magnetism +used in talking as an honest compound of heartiness, thoughtfulness, and +sympathy. + +Conversation does not demand that we should always be vivacious, +sparkling, witty, fanciful, or even that we should use beautiful +language; but good talk does ask for heart and interest. Put your heart +into what you have to say: put your interest into it, and your +conscience will be awakened, your zeal will be aroused; then you will +compel attention, and set others thinking also. De Quincy writes, "From +the heart, from an interest of love or hatred, of hope or care, springs +all permanent eloquence; and the elastic spring of conversation is +gone if the talker is a mere showy man of talent, pulling at an oar +which he detests." + +These things being true, it seems to me that character is the first +requirement in the art of conversation. I take it for granted that +every girl can, with perseverance, acquire a fluent use of words; for +this depends mainly on practice: so I shall try to indicate those +qualities which lie back of the words, and which give life to them. Even +the nature of a talk will have its source in character, and to character +it will return. Whatever chance or circumstance brings about a +conversation, it will generally lead to such expressions of ideas as +will show the dispositions of the conversers. + +Just here, girls, let me remark, that, if by any slang or catch words +you thoughtlessly express yourselves, the danger is, your character +will be misunderstood, and your pure hearts but merry minds will be +censured for what is not in them. Depend upon it, your own personality +will be inferred from what you say, hence the value of utter sincerity +in what you talk. + +Naturally, we are led to think about courtesy and good manners as +requirements in the art of talking. Have you not met certain men and +women who, when they opened their mouths to speak to you, conferred +a favor on you? and, when they spoke, have you not felt the benediction +descending on your heads? I have. They were not always scholars, nor +were they great people, nor rich people, but _mannered_ people. Such +persons used their words as if they expected words from you, for +which they would be grateful. They did not monopolize conversation, +neither did they frequently interrupt; but when they had a suggestion +to offer, opportunity being afforded, they spoke honestly, though +politely, their good sound thoughts,--ideas which frequently destroyed +the evil of gossip or impatiently uttered remarks. + +Conversation does not depend upon rapidity of speech, as certain +impulsive persons seem to think. I acknowledge that much of the +interruption in conversation, and much of the monopoly, and a large +number of the quick, almost angry words, result from eagerness rather +than conceit or selfishness. If one cannot be animated without rapid +speech, let him talk fast. It is a bad practice, however, even in the +ablest talkers. + +One can have opinions, and yet not use them to knock down one's +opponents who have had no chance to arm against one. Do not be +ungenerous, girls, selfish, in talking. Allow that some one else may +have ideas as good as yours. George Eliot says, in "Daniel Deronda," +"I cannot bear people to keep their minds bottled up for the sake of +letting them off with a pop." That is not conversation: it is a selfish +display of a few treasured maxims or witticisms or opinions. + +If courtesy, deference, patience, and generosity are needed to talk +well, then certainly sympathy is necessary. A woman who has no +comfortable word for her sister woman had better talk to the wall. +But I need not reproach girls for lack of sympathy, nor for lack of +interest in the girls they meet. Their confidence in new friends is +so absolute; their desire to receive sympathy, as well as to give it, +is so great, that they frequently impart their whole lists of secrets +to the bosoms of others whom they have not known a month. Now a more +careful use of sympathy and confidence will induce not only good manners +but good talk. It will tell you how to avoid such subjects as would +give rise to unpleasant, even quarrelsome, talk. It will show you when +you have talked too long with one person in a mixed company, and when +you are wounding the feelings of another by paying no regard to her. + +Impartial treatment of those we meet in society is certainly very +charming. We say it is a great accomplishment to be able to speak a +pleasant word to the neighbor on the right, and a different, though +equally expressive, one to the friend on the left. Mary likes books, +Sallie prefers society, Ruth enjoys housekeeping, Margaret is fond +of music. Then why not ask Mary if she has noticed the beautiful +woodcuts in the last Harper's, or seen the new edition of Hawthorne? +Why not inquire of Sallie about the last matinee and the last hop? +Why not ask Ruth how she made those delicious rolls, and how she +prepared the coffee, or how she manages to make her room look so +cheerful and cosey? And why not make Margaret give you her +opinion of Wagner or of Beethoven? + +I cannot dwell too long on the necessity of that adaptability to others +which a kind and sympathetic heart will always strive for in +conversation. Suppose you do not know the group amidst which you are +seated in a drawing-room, and it is expected you will all become +acquainted? Well, if it must be, say something to Miss Brown about +yesterday's storm or today's sunshine; something to Miss Eliot about +the kindness of your hostess, who is entertaining her friends in her +usual hospitable manner, with a word to each just suited to the +individual addressed; and something to Mrs. Hammerton about the pleasant +surroundings,--a picture near you, a book, a vase of exquisite form. + +But suppose you are to talk with a gentleman? Why, begin with just +such remarks as you would use to a sensible girl; and, if he does not +seem to care for them, turn his attention to the world of his own +affairs,--to the street and the office. A man often takes pleasure +in giving information about matters of great public interest of which +so many girls are ignorant. After you have passed a few remarks about +the last election, or the new town-hall, you will probably find out +what he prefers to discuss, and then you can easily entertain him, +and be entertained in return. I think that most men are quite as fond +of general topics in conversation as women are; and I fail to see the +necessity of introducing different subjects for gentlemen than for +ladies,--I mean when both young men and young women appreciate what +it is to be gentlemen and ladies. + +Girls, why do so many of you indulge in so much smaller talk with men +than with women? Because it is expected of you? Only by a few, and +they make themselves very absurd by always trying to say nonsensical +things to you. Men of this sort appear to have an impression that you +are still children amused with a Jack-in-the-box which springs up in +a very conceited hobgoblin way. Everybody likes a joke, and at times +feels a childlike pleasure in speaking nonsense; but, believe me, sense +is much more attractive in conversation. + +Discretion in conversation really implies a peculiar tact of woman, +a kind of cleverness, not so frequently found in men, and very seldom +met with in boys. When a woman sees her guests are led by a monopolizer +along unsafe channels of thought, she can easily, by that happy faculty +of hers, bring them back again where all will run smoothly. She can +change the subject by some little remark irrelevant to it. Perhaps +adaptability comes from discretion. When you are talking with +Englishmen,--well, do not talk quite as Englishmen do, though they +may be perfectly sincere; but talk as Americans talk. Say _a_ +the way they do in Boston, or wherever else you may belong: stick to +your own town's forms of speech so long as they are reasonable. Above +all things, do not ape the peculiar pronunciations of certain +individuals. Affectation, imitation in talk, is ruinous. Be yourselves! +Girls and boys are not themselves as much as they ought to be. + +Being honest, still adapt yourselves to new people as you would to +new scenes: talk with the Englishman on such subjects as he prefers. +When you are speaking with honest country people about the beauty of +their fields, do not talk about "Flora spreading her fragrant mantle +on the superficies of the earth, and bespangling the verdant grass +with her beauteous adornments." Use baby talk to babies; kind and simple +words to the aged; a good, round, cheerful word to the girls, almost +slang,--though no, not quite that! Make the grocer feel you have an +interest in groceries; the seamstress an interest in sewing, as of +course you have; and the doctor an interest in sickness. In fact, make +each one with whom you come in contact realize that you care for him +and what he specially does. Just put yourselves into the places of +others, and the words will take care of themselves. + +The intellect is not such a supreme factor in conversation as the points +of character I have so far named. Mr. Mathews, in his "Great +Conversers," writes, "The character has as much to do with the +colloquial power as has the intellect; the temperament, feelings, and +animal spirits even more, perhaps, than the mental gifts." I add this +remark from De Quincy: "More will be done for the benefit of +conversation by the simple magic of good manners (that is, chiefly +by a system of forbearance) applied to the besetting vices of social +intercourse than ever _was_ or _can_ be done by all varieties of +intellectual power assembled upon the same arena." + +But there are certain things the mind must do in connection with the +disposition. Concentrating the thoughts is one of these things,--very +hard for young or old to acquire. Persons resort to very queer methods +to obtain it,--some scratch their heads, others rub their chins. I +have seen a public speaker try to wreak thoughts out of a watch-chain. +Another jerked at the rear pockets of his swallow-tailed coat to pick +out a thought there. You know the story Walter Scott tells about the +head boy? He always fumbled over a particular button when he recited; +so, one day, the button being furtively removed by Walter, the boy +became abstracted, and Scott passed above him. Madame De Stael, as +she talked, twisted a bit of paper, or rolled a leaf between her +fingers. (Some have attributed this to her vanity, as she had very +beautiful hands.) I believe friends came to note her necessity, and +supplied her with leaves. Well, do what you will that is harmless, if it +but serve to pin your attention right down to the matter before you. + +The great conversers of literature are wrongly called so. Set topics +do not often lead to genuine conversation, and those who occupy the +time by delivering their ideas on given subjects are really lecturers. +Johnson as well as Coleridge talked right on while all the rest sat +and listened. + +Conversation that is real implies give and take. We do not talk to +illuminate the minds of others only, but to get their ideas also. And, +don't you see, we never quite know what our own thoughts are till we +come to try to make them clear to others? "Intercourse is, after all, +man's best teacher. 'Know thyself is an excellent maxim; but even self- +knowledge cannot be perfected in closets and cloisters." [Footnote: +Mathews.] Three or four expressing ideas on the same subject give one +a larger range of thoughts, make one more liberal and less obstinate. + +If you care for a girl's opinion because it is just like yours, maybe +it is her sympathy you are after and not her opinion. An interchange +of ideas sometimes leads to discussion, and that is admirable for the +growth of mind, provided it does not degenerate into dispute. + +It is not necessary that conversation should roll around a given point. +I think that is the most entertaining, restful, and real talk which +is the most roving. You may begin in Portland and end in San Francisco. +You may start talking about preserving peaches, and halt on the latest +sensation. It is often very amusing to trace the line of such converse: +it moves in a zigzag course, and terminates many miles out of the +original direction. By this discursiveness I do not mean gossip. Of +course talk of that kind has no good part in conversation: it is the +slave of ignorance and bad character. I might, however, differ from +some as to what gossip is,--whether there may not be certain kinds +of talk miscalled gossip. I am quite sure that criticising the +misfortunes of others, and watching a chance for dilating upon their +lot, with your neighbors on the next doorstep, would come under the head +of worse than gossip. It might be well to distinguish between gossip and +scandal: the one is goodness adulterated; the other is evil unmixed. + +Good conversation is the mark of highest culture. That is why, in spite +of shabby dresses, unbanged hair, tremendous mouths, and large noses, +some persons are purely delightful. We have seen that this is so, yet +have not added that something lies in the voice as well as in the +manners and words of such people. From nervousness, and other causes +which I have not been able to trace, girls are apt to pitch their voices +too high, as though they thought to be better able to speak distinctly. +A gruff, mannish voice is worse than a piping, shrill tone in a woman; +but fulness of tone prevents no melody, and this comes from a medium +pitch. In the very modulations of the voice are detected excellence +and refinement. The human voice, in its sounds and accents, is a record +of character: trust it as the key-board of the human being. + +May I remind you here, girls, of the harm arising from loud talk in +public places? How many times do we suffer annoyance from the noisy +voice in the car, the station, or on the street! How bold and immodest +such tones are! Some persons seem to think the public is not to be +regarded, and that it has no right to criticism. They appear to believe +that a train is no different than an open field, where the voice needs +no restraint, and where manners are not the most refined. They treat +the passengers with as little care as they do the cars; for, while +they make a waste-basket of the latter, they regard the former as so +many brazen images to be stared at _ad libitum_. Passengers have +ears, though they themselves be removed from the talkers by the distance +of a seat or two. + +Now about the words you use, girls. I fully realize the expressiveness +of slang and the convenience of exaggeration. But if a peach pie is +almost "divine," and the Hudson River "awfully lovely," what can be +said of the New Testament and Niagara Falls? What is to become of the +poor innocent words in the English language which mean only delicious +and beautiful? By a girl's words know her; but, oh! never by the slang +she uses. This use of slang is really a serious matter. Honest words +are so misconstrued, and propriety in the employment of them so +injured,--phrases are capable of so many interpretations,--that even +serious people use slang in a very pathetic way without ever knowing the +words are slang. Girls not only hurt themselves, but go to work to +defame the very English language and the people who speak English. + +When a young woman, who makes much pretension to fine manners and an +elegant education, takes the steam-car for a rostrum, and exclaims +about her French teacher as "awfully funny but awfully horrid, don't +you know; awfully lovely sometimes, but awfully awful at others!" we +wonder why she gives so much attention to French when her English +vocabulary seems to have reduced itself to the scanty proportions of +one word. Oh, I know how pertinent certain kinds of slang are! I +acknowledge that a few peculiar expressions convey ideas more +emphatically than whole pages of classical English. + +The dangers from the habitual use of slang cannot be too strongly +presented. Imagine a girl of the period versed in the loose expressions +of the day. She goes away; but, after an absence of five years in a +country where she hears little except in a foreign tongue, she returns, +and with her comes her slang. How common, how witless, her talk appears! +Her slang has long since gone out of fashion. The best of English never +changes its style. + +Girls, especially very young girls, must have their secret signs, their +language of nods and becks and shrugs; but young ladies who have +outgrown "eni, meni, moni, mi; husca, lina, bona, stri," ought to +outgrow signs which are suggestive of coarse, rude acts, and which, +with the slang expressions that accompany them, have often originated +in some theatre of questionable character. + +The responsibility rests with you, girls, to stop this increasing use +of slang, and of words of double meaning. I say you can prevent it +because you are so much regarded. Your influence is wide, wider than +you suppose. If you do not cease speaking slang, your younger sisters +will not, your friends and acquaintances may not. More than this: if +you use coarse words, or those which may be interpreted in various +ways, then coarse manners will soon follow coarse tones, and a general +swaggering and lawlessness. My dear girls, I am only prophesying what +will be if no prevention is employed. Surely you will give no cause +for censure, if you seriously think about this matter. + +It is a part of youthful exuberance to exaggerate. Children always +want a thing as long as "from here to Jerusalem," and stretch their +tiny arms out till they nearly fall backwards, trying to make an inch +as long as a mile. But, _cave canem_! the fault of exaggerating +once powerful over you, not only the bounds of the English language +are leapt, but truth is unconsciously set at nought. We always allow +for the words of some persons, for with them a scratch is a wound; +a wind, a hurricane; one dollar, a thousand; and all they do in life, +a big, big bluster. The only way to bring back English to a state of +purity--for it has been outraged by slang, imitation, technical +expressions, a straining after long words, and a regular system of +exaggeration--is to speak simple words, using all necessary force and +emphasis in the voice instead of in the number of syllables, saying +what you mean by just the words that will convey the meaning. Of course +the dictionary must be frequently used. There is no help so sure as +that which it affords to one who would use language properly. + +Do not be troubled if you hesitate in conversation, and cannot +immediately find the proper word. Search in your mind till you get +the expression, then next time it will come more rapidly. One of the +best ways to increase fluency of speech is to avoid repetition of words +as much as possible. Turn the name of an object or of an idea into +a phrase, or substitute a synonym, and in this way you add variety +and words to your vocabulary. Do not use foreign words when English +will do as well. There are times when it will not, though it is a very +copious language. Never think English inferior. Hear its music in +Tennyson and Longfellow, De Quincey and Ruskin. See its beauty in the +pages of Hawthorne and Irving. Do not use technical terms with those +unacquainted with science or art. It shows a lack of good sense. + +I want once more to insist on the value of good conversation, more +particularly because of its suggestiveness. I believe there are few +things really great and good which have not this power of suggestion. +The picture is not wonderful that can be appreciated at a glance, the +book is not remarkable which will not bear a second reading, music +is not good unless it awakes harmonies, a thought is not valuable unless +it suggests another thought. + +The graces of conversation none can wear as well as woman. They are +most becoming to you, my dear girls,--even brighter and richer and +dearer than any jewels with which you may adorn yourselves. They consist +mostly of pleasant, well-chosen words, sympathetic, hearty tones, +sprightliness, and certain winsome modulations of voice. + +When every other accomplishment fails to entertain, there is always +left the resource of good talk, pleasing to old and young. We cannot +sit at Luther's table, and hear him utter life-giving words, "If a +man could make a single rose, we should give him an empire; yet roses, +and flowers no less beautiful, are scattered in profusion over the +world, and no one regards them." We cannot listen to Coleridge, "with +his head among the clouds." We, alas! cannot even catch the energetic +flash of Margaret Fuller's words. But every one of us can improve her +conversation by persevering effort in the ways indicated, and can listen +still to the best of talk. + +Somewhere Emerson writes, "Wise, cultivated, genial conversation is +the last flower of civilization, and the best result which life has +to offer us,--a cup for the gods, which has no repentance." + + + + +II. + +HOW TO GET ACQUAINTED WITH NATURE. + + +My dear girls, I want to talk to you to-day about one of your very +best friends,--one so altogether lovely, from first to last, that we +can never exhaust her attractions. + +Nature is, indeed, among the most loving and constant friends a girl +can have, and not by any means the imaginary acquaintance so many +suppose she is. She lives and breathes, and has a form and spirit. Are +you looking about to see where she is? No need of that. Come right here, +and sit down beside me under this great pine-tree. How strong and +comfortable its back feels against yours! Do you see all those soft +green points looking down on you while the tasselled branches gently +sway? Just look at the deep blue patches of sky away up and up among +the green arches. How cool and smooth and restful! how unending the +color is in which the leaves lie! How hardy and brave the branches +look! See the lines of beauty in them,--long, aspiring, slightly curving +lines,--which meet and terminate in cathedral spires. What grace in +the motion of every spray of greenness! what a healing odor in the +breath of the tree! And, hark! a little breeze has touched it, and +tuned its language into a plaintive song,--a sound like the surf washing +upon a distant shore. Do you know why the pine is so sad a tree? Let +me tell you her story. No; she will sing it herself, if you will listen +to the nocturn: "Long, long ago I had my home on an island of the ocean, +and my branches swayed and sang to the waves that kissed my feet with +the fondness of a betrothed lover. The winds were envious of our sweet +union, and blew away from me the germs of life. My seeds sprang up +again, but on foreign soil; and the new trees, my offspring, are the +same in form and color, but their souls are all sad from my recounted +memories of departed joy." When the slightest breeze comes near, and +ventures to softly touch the branches, a sound like sobbing follows; +but when, with rougher grasp, the east wind approaches, a wailing like +the utterances of a storm-tossed sea is heard. Listen! do you not +hear it now? It is the imprisoned spirit of the pine, longing for the +waves, moaning out a vain desire for the embrace of the sea. + +How am I sure the tree is alive and friendly? Doesn't it bow to you +when you pass, and curve and sweep before you? Doesn't it offer you +rest and refreshment in its shade? Doesn't it entertain you by showing +you beautiful pictures and forms, and doesn't it furnish you with music? +See what an instructor it is! Away up there among the branches are +lessons involving the very first principles of architecture, sculpture, +and painting,--signs that show the laws of harmony and hint at morality +itself. Its trunk and limbs look honest and courageous, firm and trusty, +while all its lofty, tapering height points Godward. + +It is your confidant; and the more you tell it, the more you will find +to say. While it is very modest and retiring, requiring time to get +acquainted with you, still, the more it talks to you, the more you +will want to hear. The pine is your school-master, and you are the +royal pupil,--Roger Ascham and Queen Elizabeth. It is no longer an +ordinary tree, but something born with a spirit in it; and it has +birthdays. Thoreau, the man who loved Nature so much that the birds +and the fishes took care of him and were never afraid of their master, +used to visit certain trees on certain days in the year. The pine has +a birthday worth celebrating in December, the maple in October, and +the birch in May. You think this is all fancy, and believe persons +must be very imaginative to find such friends in Nature? Oh, no; along +with fancy Nature tucks very real things into our thoughts about her. +You only need an introduction to her, and you will see for yourselves. +The most practical among you will find that even fancy is a most useful +quality, because it leads men to think out great truths. + +Some of the most remarkable ideas in literature, philosophy, science, +and, religion have come from just this snug little acquaintance with +Nature. Probably the most original poet in the last hundred years was +Wordsworth. However much he lacked in some respects, he has done most +towards shaping the minds of other poets, and towards advancing new +and beautiful theories. His honest ideas, his simple truths, were told +him by the field-flowers--the celandine and daisy and daffodil--as +well as by the common trees and the common sky. I suppose most of the +principles of natural philosophy, and of many of the sciences, must +have been derived from an acquaintance with Nature in her ordinary +aspects. Oh, do not think it necessary to behold Nature in her great +stretches of sublimity in order to appreciate her. You will come to +know her far more easily, and much more helpfully, in a little woodside +walk, or right here underneath these branches, than you will in Niagara +Falls, or in looking at her in the great ocean. She comes down more +to the level of your understanding here in this meadow. Comes down +to your comprehension? Yes; I mean that, and yet I would not for a +moment imply that in her most commonplace guise you can exhaust her +beauty. Do you know what Mr. Ruskin says about such an apparently +insignificant thing as a blade of grass? "Gather a single blade of +grass, and examine for a minute, quietly, its narrow, sword-shaped +strip of fluted green. Nothing it seems there, of notable goodness +or beauty. A very little strength and a very little tallness, and a +few delicate long lines meeting in a point.... And yet, think of it +well, and judge whether of all the gorgeous flowers that beam in summer +air, and of all strong and goodly trees, pleasant to the eyes and good +for food,--stately palm and pine, strong ash and oak, scented citron, +burdened vine,--there be any so deeply loved, by God so highly graced, +as that narrow point of feeble green." + +But _how_ to get acquainted with Nature is the question. By +observation,--by simply opening your eyes and seeing. If no one yet +knows all about a blade of grass, surely no one has so far beheld all +the beauty there is in a single sun-rise. You cannot see every thing +at a glance. When you first let your eyes rest upon the horizon, you +may see only a piece of sky in the east: not very remarkable, you think, +except that here and there are things that look like streaks of red +and yellow. Later, you find something unobserved before,--clouds shaped +like islands and balanced in mid-air, or lying like rafts which float +along the edge of the sky. Then the color seems to deepen, and to spread +out in great bars of light which lift and remove the remnants of the +night. They are floating barges,--gondolas richly decked with crimson +and gold, and burning with jewels of light. A coolness seems to come +in the air, an exhilaration in your feeling. Energy, enterprise, are +inspired with the dawn. When the sun is really up in the heavens, you +feel an expansion of spirits, and great light is within you. You, too, +will make a path through the day, as the sun makes his path through +the heavens. By and by you will be able to say with the bardic +philosopher, "I see the spectacle of morning from the hill-top over +against my house from daybreak to sunrise, with emotions which an angel +might share ... I seem to partake its rapid transformations. The active +enchantment reaches my dust, and I dilate and conspire with the morning +wind ... Give me health and a day, and I will make the pomp of emperors +ridiculous." And, at length, you will rise above the earthly, and +exclaim with the psalmist, "Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye +lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in." + +Observe the humblest flower that grows, and first you may notice only +its color, or form, or fragrance. Look again, and some added beauty +appears. Observe more closely, handle it, and you are made a little +thoughtful, because, all unconsciously to yourself, it may be, the +flower is doing something to your mind and heart and soul. Perhaps +its velvety softness and its lowliness speak to you of humility and +gentleness; or perhaps its fragrance breathes sweetness into your life +and feeling,--only a little, to be sure, but that little means +something. The spirit of the flower speaks to your spirit; and you +wonder what relation it bears to you, and if you are not both connected +with the spirit of God. + +There is something more than sentiment in attributing character to +flowers, something better than fancy in saying, "Pansies for thoughts." +Growing things all mean real things; so do the stones in the stone-wall, +and the gravel on the road, and the very breeze that blows in our +faces,--all and each have a significance which does not at once meet +the outward eye. + +It would be very delightful, and certainly very useful, if, besides +this friendliness in Nature, you could learn some of the special values +of Nature, as shown by science. A botanist has fuller joy in flowers +and ferns and grasses than a mere observer of them, and a geologist +has more pleasure in rocks than he who remarks them for their beauty's +sake. Still, this friendship and this general observation had to come +before the scientific knowledge was possible. I have great sympathy +for those who, while ignorant of technicalities, love objects for just +simply the things themselves. + +When you begin to get acquainted with the externals of Nature, then, +of course, you will ask how they are made; and the lessons of science +will attract you. Looking at the smoothness of the rounded stones, +you will be led to examine their ancient homes beneath the waves; +noticing the long straight lines on the rocks, you will wander back to +the period when ice covered the land, and the earth was wrapped in +chaotic gloom. Observe, only observe! and curiosity will press for you +the very secrets out of the woods, the streams, the skies. Look around +you! There is such an infinite number of objects to consider right about +your own porch-door,--the lichens on the door-stone, the apple-tree +shading the path, the striped pebble that you kick aside, the plant +pressing up between the boards, the dew shimmering on the weed. +Investigate all your surroundings, especially the small, neglected +places, and try to have an opinion about what you observe. A busy man, a +merchant, noticed, some time ago, a thistle growing by the wayside. He +was journeying in the steam-cars at the time; and, although the next +stopping-place was somewhat far, he walked back to find the strange +flower. The prize he gained was a rare plant, a beautiful thistle of +which he had only heard before. + +Oh, Nature is so modest! But once set her talking, she will forget +your presence, and babble like the brook. How much she has told the +poets, and the men of science! How much she will tell you, too, if +you but heed her! + +Ah, girls, what slight attention we have, in reality, shown to Nature! +We treat her more like a servant than a friend and companion. The desire +for excitement has turned our minds to vainer subjects. The struggles +which our elders have made for money and position have deprived them +of chances for regarding natural objects. However deplorable this may +be, it is a still more lamentable fact, that you, dear girls, give +so little heed to Nature,--you who have time and to spare. It lies +with you to cultivate this love for the natural world, that future +generations may be more mindful of it. + +When we refuse the gladness that Nature offers us, we dismiss a large +share of the happiness God intended for us. I ought to be a little +more lenient in my criticism on the lack of appreciating Nature, +perhaps; for not a few of us may find lingering in our minds some +autumnal glory which lights up our memories with colors of crimson and +gold. We should remember, however, that not only the glow of autumn and +the flush of summer are beautiful, but that every season, every climate, +every aspect in the shifting panorama of Nature, has a beauty as real. +Our own region, be it arid with parching suns, or wet with frequent +rains; be it always winter there, or always summer, is full of beauty. +There is sunset on the desert, moonrise on mid-ocean, gorgeous coloring +and crowding life in the tropics, dazzling starlight over ice-bound +lands. Neither is one day so much better than another for beholding +Nature. Yesterday we let the mild sunshine redden the blood beneath the +skin; to-day we are drawn from our study of the perfect harmony of grays +in the clouds and trees to watch, within the house, the bright light +which gleams from the coals,--Nature brought up out of the earth. + +Regard even one day of our worst weather, as we say,--worst for our +health or convenience we must always mean. Think of a bleak and sleety +March day. As the storm whirls against the house with strong blasts +of rain and snow, our excitement increases by watching the swaying +trees, and by listening to the shaking windows, while the lawless winds +howl and rage around the corner. When the winds settle from +boisterousness into low complaints, and now and then fall into quiet +utterances, musical murmurings, the rain pauses, the sky softens, and +our minds grow calm and gentle. But when, again, the clouds gather +darkness, and make strength for a new onslaught, we become sober with +fear and doubt. Tell me, if, as we view these changes, and hear these +stirring or weird sounds, we do not indeed behold battle scenes, and +listen to music from which even Wagner might have learned. + +But the storm is the exceptional aspect, and we ought to care more +for ordinary views. Winter is common enough, but it has its perfections. +Its colors, though less gorgeous than those of autumn, are the most +restful and quiet in their tone and feeling. Those grays and browns, +huddling together in silent lines side by side, are full of peaceful +beauty as they rest upon the white snow or up against uncertain skies. +I like a gray atmosphere relieved by silver birches, just enough +sombreness set off by cheerfulness. It is wisdom and patience ornamented +with gray locks. + +Spring, early spring, in New England, we call more disagreeable than +winter. Ah, but it is the budding time! When you meet spring, before +the trees come out in full dress, when all that fluttering, fluffy +greenness, and that crimson flowering etch, with innumerable branchlets, +the embroidery of Nature against the sky, you meet, even though the +east sea winds blow, a season incomparable. + +An opportunity for getting acquainted with Nature is never wanting. +If men should cut down all the forest trees, as they now threaten, +they could not "cut the clouds out of the sky," as Thoreau affirms. +A roof light in a garret, even, gives the eye visions dazzlingly +beautiful over beyond all the chimney pots, if the eye only looks. We +would go far to see on canvas the lake, the river, the wood that borders +our heritage; and yet we rarely heed their living charms that daily +offer us new pleasures. We cross the ocean to visit great churches, and +we throng to hear an organ played by a master musician; while in yonder +forest we may enter a cathedral, loftier and grander far than art can +form, through whose densely branching arches and solemn aisles sweeps +the music of the winds from the organ pipes of the pines. + +Nature, in most of her aspects, will give us small chance for censuring +her scant attractions. A field of grass and flowers, sunshine and +chirping birds, the clinging, changing foliage, or the shimmer of snow +and ice, the light of moon and stars, are in some of her commonest +pictures. We are simply to give heed. As Carlyle suggests, it is not +because we have such superior levity that we pay no attention to Nature. +By not thinking, we simply cease to wonder, that is all. + +Oh, get acquainted with Nature, my girls, and see how lovely the world +will become! Do you know that beautiful sketch by Charles Kingsley +called "My Winter Garden"? Read it, and see how he gets the world out +of a small space,--how he becomes rich. You know no man can buy a +landscape,--it belongs to all. We are, every one, rich in summer skies, +in fair forests, in great tracts of meadow verdure. See how Kingsley +grows contented,--how he becomes wise. "Have you eyes to see? Then +lie down on the grass, and look near enough to see something more of +what is to be seen; and you will find tropic jungles in every square +foot of turf; mountain cliffs and debacles at the mouth of every rabbit +burrow; dark strids, tremendous cataracts, 'deep glooms and sudden +glories' in every foot-broad rill which wanders through the turf.... +Nature, as every one will tell you who has seen dissected an insect +under the microscope, is as grand and graceful in her smallest as in +her largest forms." + +We are told there is something most practical in physiology. One of +its first requirements is proper exercise for the body. Now, no exercise +combines so many advantages as walking: by no other means can we come +so easily to an acquaintance with Nature. Never ride in the country, +or anywhere within Nature's dearest precincts, when you can as well +go on foot. You cannot see things flying by you. Do not adopt the custom +of most pedestrians, that of getting over the ground as rapidly as +possible. Take daily walks, no matter what the weather is; but do not +go too far. Irregularity in this exercise is harmful. It is far better +to walk two miles daily than ten miles at one time, and fifteen a week +hence. Go to see something on your walks, if you discover nothing more +than a great hole in the ground; and come home with some thought about +what you have seen. I found out a great truth, one day last spring, +of which I was wholly ignorant before,--that a rose is sweeter in the +morning than in the noonday. Many a lesson in that; some practical +knowledge too. + +In a delightful way, the hermit of Walden tells us how to take walks, +how to truly saunter. He says that the word saunterer was derived from +those persons who, during the Middle Ages, went on crusades to the +Holy Land. When one of them, as he journeyed towards the East, appeared +among the children, they would exclaim, "'There goes a Sainte +Terrer!'--a Holy Lander"--which, you can see, came to be called +"Saunterer." Thoreau says that every one who walks as he should, with +his eyes and his heart open, is bound to a Holy Land. "Every walk is a +sort of crusade, preached by some Peter the Hermit in us, to go forth +and reconquer this Holy Land from the hands of the Infidels." Is not +that a beautiful thought? + +Walk with freedom of the chest and limbs, carrying nothing in the hands +to prevent the play of any muscles. Breathe through the nose rather +than through the mouth. I suppose the most of the girls can walk in +an ordinary street dress; but I would suggest, if a girl is to go far, +that she wear a full, short skirt, of not very heavy weight, a loose +flannel blouse, and stout shoes. This costume can be arranged so that +it will not in the least shock her townspeople. It is always safest, +and usually most agreeable, to walk accompanied by one or more friends +who are bound on the same quest. Begin your walk as you are to continue +it: at an even, easy pace, or with such steps as you naturally take +when the first signs of weariness appear. Use as much of your body +as you can. Welcome the increased circulation of the blood, and the +glow of the skin; but be very careful to retard these when you are +nearing the end of your saunter, or are about to rest for a while. +Remember the danger of standing or sitting quietly when in a +perspiration. + +It is profitable to rest early in a walk, and to break it by frequently +sitting down for a few moments at a time. Do not walk too rapidly. +Remember you are not to care who gets to the top of the mountain first. +It should be your aim to see things on the way up, as well as from +the summit. If one often turns to get views from behind, the ascent +gradually prepares one's mind for the climacteric vision from the top. +You may boast that you have walked a given number of miles, but count +yourself still prouder because you have seen what that number of miles +held for you along the way. + +Be careful of your steps, yet be bold and confident, that you may leap +the stream or scale the rock. If you stop to reflect, the stream will +grow wider, and the rock steeper and smoother. A stick helps many in +climbing, but I believe the skilled pedestrian climbs unaided. Do _not_ +jump, girls. Creep, slide, crawl; but never shock your system +with a jump of few or many feet in height. + +The dangers of walking arise from too great an ambition to go a long +distance, from striving to out-walk somebody, from walking too rapidly +and irregularly, and from allowing the mind to become so exhilarated +as not to be sensible of the fatigues of the body. Stop when you are +tired. Remember that, in a walk of ten miles, the last five are longer +than the first five; then reserve that second half for the next day. + +Form observation clubs, mountain clubs, pedestrian clubs,--any worthy +association which will take you out of doors, and teach you about the +region in which you live. Be earnest about it, as about a solemn, +necessary work. Take your English cousins for examples. I think it +was Sara Coleridge who, in her old age, complained because she could +no longer walk more than fifteen miles a day. In that delightful essay, +written by Charles Lamb, on "Old China," Bridget Elia sighs because +she and her companion have become so rich they cannot walk their thirty +miles, as they had so often done, on a holiday. + +In England or in Switzerland, one meets whole flocks of English girls +out on a walk of a week's duration. Think of the sport in such a +tramp,--the hilarity on the way! the lunches gathered by hap-hazard +from country bake-shops and groceries, and eaten in any retired nook +that offers by the roadside! Think of the appetite for commonest food, +and of the amusing difficulties which come from lack of knives and +forks! On such a walk, how easy to pick one's self up after lunch, +throw the dinner-table away, and trot on to the next village. As a +girl passes from town to town, how eager she is to note their +characteristics, to look at the people curiously, and to pry into their +shop-windows. How much she learns about Nature! Is the sky so blue +at home? Are the wild flowers so abundant? Is the grass so soft and +green? Oh, girls! try to make yourselves at home with Nature, and walk +out among her attractions. In all your observations of Nature do not +forget her living personality, her power to love you, to comfort you, +and to develop you. Feel that you have a friend with you even when +you seem to go solitary. Remember that, in learning to know Nature, +you are learning to know yourselves. From your friends and your books, +ask all about what you see. Be favored with every grand spectacle in +Nature, but be never wearied with her commonplace aspects. Do not think +of yourselves so much as living in rooms and houses, but as living +in _the_ house, the palace of the earth and sky, whose every gallery, +corridor and hall, is carpeted with Nature's tapestries of unfading +color and deep softness; whose walls are hung with glowing sunsets; and +through whose green roof, here and there, "a pane of blue sky" appears. + + + + +III. + +HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF WORK. + + +When God made heaven and earth, and all things beautiful for the +enjoyment of his children, He added His last, best blessing,--the +gift of work. Sweeter than the fruits of Eden, more grateful than the +fragrance that breathed from the flowers of Paradise, and grander than +all the starry hosts of heaven, was this most precious favor. By it +the world is delivered of its hidden riches, and the mind of man +developed into its broadest capabilities. Yes, dear girls, there is a +blessedness in work that transcends every joy you have. You know it; but +the question comes, How to make the most of the gift? + +What a dull old world this would be if we spent all our days on hotel +verandas at summer resorts! Absolutely unbearable! We should all die +of ease. It is as necessary for us all to work as it is to breathe. +Nothing exists in the natural world without its special office or duty; +and surely, in the world of man, no one can live without occupation. +Lack of sufficiently worthy work is one of the crying evils of our +day, among both boys and girls. Every thing is done to make labor less, +or to turn it completely into pleasure,--to shirk it, or to scorn it. +The sewing-machine has made the good sewer a phenomenon. Our +grandmothers used to rip their dresses and linings with sharp scissors: +a good jump from a carriage will send us right out of a modern costume. +Teachers learn the lessons now, and the pupils take notes and cram once +in a while. Text-books have gone out of fashion. The next generation +will not see any antique furniture: it will all lie in a hopelessly +unglued state, separated into its elements. There will not be any china +tea-sets,--all broken in the last dish-washing. There may be a few +books in loose bindings and faded covers, and a few works of art in +frames that furnace-heat has set sadly awry. There will be a plenty +of fine machines. + +Mr. Froude tells us, "When the magnificent Earl of Essex was sent to +Cambridge, in Elizabeth's time, his guardian provided him with a deal +table covered with green baize, a truckle-bed, half a dozen chairs, +and a wash hand-basin. The cost of all was five pounds." Harvard boys +have somewhat enlarged that invoice of housekeeping goods. What do +you think about the furnishings of college girls? + +Welcome improvement. Yes, indeed! Be glad of clothes-wringers, dish- +washers, carpet-sweepers, Quincy methods, Meisterschaft systems, and +all else that will economize labor and time, or make more attractive +the special work you have to do; but never forget that no machine can +be invented which will make housekeeping a sport, and thorough, hard +work of any kind unnecessary. And remember, too, there is no royal +road to learning, as the Alexandrian philosopher said. Kings and queens +must walk over the same rough road which we tread when they go up to +the temple of knowledge. Cloth of gold cannot smooth the way, nor +elegant editions make knowledge more subservient. + +Girls, what do you think about shirking work? One of the chief +differences between happy girls and moody ones consists in the amount +of work they do, or leave undone. The despair which settles over many +a girl's days, the indifference, comes from no longer being compelled +to do certain tasks. "Get work, get work: be sure 'tis better than +what you work to get." Do not delay the task that must be done. +Procrastination is worse than the thief of time: it is the robber of +our own character, our own growth and happiness. We need to work +continually to be strong, mentally, physically, or spiritually, even; +and the longer we put off exercise, the less competent we are. I cannot +believe that a lazy person is a real Christian. Who labors, prays. +I know so many girls who delay writing essays, hoping that slight +sickness, or some unforeseen event, may ward off the trouble of thinking +for an hour; then, when the time of necessity comes, and no deliverance +from the hands of tyrannical teachers, a series of nervous attacks +ensue, because of overtaxed minds (?); and the doctors order those +poor girls out of the presence of such cruel task-masters. Medical +science and educational science always do conflict; but eleven-o'clock +suppers, social circles, tri-weekly gad-abouts, and over-anxious +parents, who yearn for a good match for their daughters, disarrange the +brains and stomachs of girls oftener than any undue desire to excel in +study. The average student is never killed by the average school or the +average school-teacher. But shirking work of any kind, delaying it, or +contriving to make it less, will bring about a certain irregularity, and +certain spasmodic efforts that are utterly ruinous. + +The cramming system, in schools, or homes, or trades, is deplorable. +You cannot put a whole geometry into your brain three days before +examination, without its bulging and breaking through the cranium in +less than a month's time. You cannot sweep and bake and wash Saturday +morning, without the pies burning, the clothes tearing, and the dust +flying. You cannot do all your book-keeping in just the hour before +the evening train starts: some one's account will be incorrect. +Regularity achieves what intensity never can. It is not the amount of +work that hurts, so much as spasmodic attempts to work. Girls are not as +strong as formerly. Irregular work, fast work, fast living, are largely +at fault. Girls scorn work: it is too humble, or too little appreciated. +Now, the fact is, girls, there is highest worth and dignity in precisely +those kinds of labor that seem the lowliest and count for the least. +Kinds of work differ, not so much in worth as in the use they make +of our faculties to do to our utmost what lies before us. The monotony +of housekeeping, or the daily repetition of work immediately to be +undone, is, after all, the most essential labor. Without it, especially +in America, the home would be destroyed. "If a woman is not fit to +manage the internal matters of a house, she is fit for nothing, and +should never be put in a house or over a house, any way. Good +housekeeping lies at the root of all the real ease and satisfaction in +existence." [Footnote: Harriet Prescott Spofford.] + +It is an offence to women everywhere that in summing up women's work, +the census will carefully enumerate those employed in professions,-- +doctors, lawyers, ministers, teachers, authors,--those who work in +factories and clothing establishments; those who are accountants, +manufacturers, servants, farmer's, and fish-women, even; but contains +not one word about the home-keepers. Are they not in any profession? +Have they no valuable calling? Enrolled, would not they swell the number +of workers by several hundreds of thousands in Massachusetts alone? +If the census slights home-keepers, however, the girls slight +home-keeping even more. Very few girls are to step aside from the +commonplace, as we carelessly term it; but more depends, in this world, +on the ordinary than the extraordinary. The work of the humblest is as +essential to the labor of the highest as is the work of the highest to +the labor of the lowliest. Michael Angelo could plan a St. Peter's; but +the men who climbed up with wood and stone--"the hewers of wood and the +drawers of water"--were necessary to its construction. Genius is a slave +to labor. Says Smiles, in his work on "Thrift," "Genius is but a +capability of laboring intensely"; making, you see, even talent itself, +and its highest expression, an outgrowth of work. + +No simplest task we do but is essential to somebody. Slight it, shirk +it, scorn it, and somebody suffers. Leave the parlor undusted, and +callers are sure to come. Wear a stocking with a hole in it, you will +find it necessary to take your boot off before night. There is the +greatest need among girls of a more entire consecration to certain +humble, homely, housewifely duties. The wearing torment of discontent +with unassuming work arises not from lack of ambition, but from scorn +of what one has to do. I sometimes think this reaching out after the +unattainable is worse for a girl than passive indifference to what +she might acquire. A large part of the success a person achieves is +dependent upon her thinking her calling the very best in the world. +It is not the work which dignifies you: it is you who dignify the work. + +The girl who wins honor in medicine, in literature, in music, in +engineering, in astronomy, in laundry-work, in cookery, in needle-work, +ennobles literature, or music, or science, or housekeeping. What worthy +pursuit can you not, by excellence, raise into honor and esteem? Matilda +of Normandy embroidered, in the quiet of her castle, stitch by stitch, +and day after day, the battle of Hastings, at which the Conqueror won. +When that great mingling of Normans and Saxons proved to be the +important and the last step in the making of England, men looked back +to the battle which decided the Norman Conquest, and, lacking needed +information from chronicles, turned to the work of Matilda. There, +on the Bayeux tapestry, was wrought the battle scene they required,--a +piece of woman's work. It was a peasant girl, you know, who brought +victory to France in the Hundred Years' War between that country and +England. + +Girls and boys have too slight an appreciation of manual labor. In +most ways, work with the hands is more necessary than mental labor. +God made man work in a garden before he gave him power to write books +or keep accounts. Fine white hands are very pretty when they belong +to a lady; but sunburnt, muscular ones are beautiful in the vineyard. + +May I warn you not to despise the small amount of work you can +accomplish, as compared with what others are able to do? Let me remind +you, too, it is not what we get in money, buildings, knowledge, +reputation, influence, by means of work, so much as what labor does +for ourselves, our characters. Carlyle expressed the idea in a very +short sentence, "Not what I have, but what I do, is my kingdom." + +Even if our work is spoilt as we near its completion, and, instead +of gain, failure awaits us, we have still been winners in ourselves, +because we have acquired habits of industry, have made our powers of +perseverance stronger, and have developed physical or mental strength +as well. Work is never lost. When Carlyle sat down to write his "French +Revolution" the second time,--a careless servant having burnt his +manuscript,--he was a nobler man than when he wrote out the first issue. +When Walter Scott failed, and Abbotsford was encumbered with a large +debt, when his dream of restoring a kind of baronial life was all +shattered, he did a grander work than in the building of that +magnificent estate; for he strove with all the powers of his mind to +earn the money which should repay his creditors. Though he died in +the struggle, it was not fought in vain. + + + + +IV. + +WHAT CAN I DO? + + +"But what can I do?" you ask. Oh, I hear that so many, many times, +and I feel the deepest sympathy for the girl who asks it. Usually, +when the question is put, there is no marked ability in the +asker,--I mean, no special power to do a particular work. I have hardly +the right to say this, however, since we are all endowed in some way, +and each girl must have a work in which she can do better than any +other. Perhaps, girls, you belong to the great middle class,--the people +who have no large fortunes, no particular influence; and, maybe, you +think if you only had a rich relative, or some acquaintance, who stood +in authority, you might do a good work, or, at least, earn a livelihood. +Do you remember that this very class of people have been the greatest +reformers, thinkers, workers, rulers, everywhere? The United States +owes its existence to people who had to depend upon themselves. + +But let us see about this question, what to do. In the first place, +if a girl has a decided inclination towards this or that honorable +calling, she should foster every opportunity for pursuing it. If she +can do a nurse's work better than a teacher's, and if no home ties +of an imperative nature restrain her, she ought to become a nurse. +A large field for the special work of nursing has been opened during +late years. In all our prominent hospitals we find training-schools +for nurses. The girl who feels she is fairly strong, and who has a +good amount of physical courage, does a brave deed when she goes into +the hospital to become a nurse. When she graduates, fitted to render +service to the sick, and willing to devote her life to them, she is +a noble acquisition to the world's helpers. + +If a girl can do most and best as a physician or surgeon, she ought +to be always the doctor. We no longer question the right or ability +of women to practise medicine. The time will come when women will be +as numerous in the medical profession as men. A girl ought to be very +sure of a few things, however, before she studies medicine with a view +to practising. There are peculiar hardships in a doctor's life, +requiring physical strength, continuous toil, strong nerves, decision, +reticence, and indifference to unjust criticism. With natures more +susceptible than young men possess, be sure, girls, that you are equal +to the burdens that weigh so heavily on the shoulders of the boys. + +If a girl can cook better than she can do other work, the kitchen ought +to claim her. Schools of cookery have made of cooking an art to be +industriously followed where success is desired. Superintendents of +cooking are usually reliable persons, and command good salaries. In +a smaller way, many a girl in town or country can turn her knowledge +of cooking to advantage, by selling her cake, or jelly, or pickles, +for a snug little sum. There is a call for such prepared food not only +in the industrial rooms of cities, but in country shops as well. We +buy Miss M.'s orange cake, and Miss F.'s spiced pickles; for the one +makes her cake, and the other her pickles, better, much better, than +others do. The world always wants the best in small as well as in great +things, and will pay for it. + +Should a girl enjoy the cultivation of plants, she would be able to +give much pleasure to her friends by caring for a private conservatory +or window-garden. In this way she could learn much about plants, and +become a successful florist. Then, if there were reasons why she should +earn a living, with a small capital she could gradually work into the +cultivation of flowers to such an extent as to make them very +serviceable money-makers. + +Sometimes girls have a fondness for fowls, and like to accumulate pin- +money from the eggs hens lay. Why should they not give much time to +the care of poultry? try for fine breeds, and for eggs that bring the +highest prices? + +A good deal has been written recently in relation to the cultivation +of the silk-worm as a means of creating an occupation for girls and +women, and as a method of forwarding American industries. The results +already attained in this work are valuable and highly promising. Very +earnest women are encouraging its progress, and will gladly supply +any needed information in regard to it. Girls, you will come to see +that women of large hearts and generous souls are deeply interested +in your welfare. I hope every city has such noble examples of this +kind of women as Boston presents. If you wish to know more about silk +culture, please refer to Miss Marian McBride of the "Boston Post." + +I have cited sufficient examples to urge that, if desire turns a girl +to this or that occupation, she ought to seek it and follow it, +provided, always, her judgment is as clear as her wish is ardent. +Remembering that a lady is such of herself, whether in a drawing-room or +an attic, behind the counter or in the school-room, a girl will be of +noble worth, and will become one place as well as another. I do believe +in choice of work; but I believe even more strongly in a girl's +preserving the "eternally womanly," whatever she does, and wherever she +is. + +In most cases, a woman's work and place are in her own home. "Wherever +a true wife comes, home is always round her. The stars only may be +over her head, the glow-worm in the night-cold grass may be the only +fire at her foot; but home is yet wherever she is: and for a noble +woman it stretches far round her, better than ceiled with cedar, or +painted with vermilion, shedding its quiet light far, for those who +else were homeless." [Footnote: Ruskin.] + +As a girl is bound to do what she honestly feels she can do best, she +should never question how her work may seem to another, if it does +not absolutely injure another. I should not ask is this man's work +or woman's work; but, rather, is it my work? But, in whatever I +attempted, I should repeatedly say to myself, Am I keeping my womanhood +strong and real, as God intended it? am I working womanly? In many +cases, much more good might be accomplished by girls and women, if, +instead of so much talk about lacking privileges, they took the places +they could fill. Sister Dora never questioned whether she ought to bind +up the wounds of her crushed workmen: she laid them on the beds of +her hospital, and calmly healed them. Caroline Herschel did not stop +to ask whether her telescope were privileged to find new stars, but +swept it across the heavens, and was the first discoverer of at least +five comets. A great obstacle in the way of advancement to girls comes +from the coarse mannerism of certain women who have worked in given +directions. Why is it that, when a woman begins to do the work a man +has been accustomed to perform, she cultivates a man's ways? It is +not the work which does it. Would that there might be less of this +unwomanliness! Because a woman is a doctor, why need she use slang +or profanity? Because she holds certain great, liberal truths in regard +to woman, why must she wear a stiff derby, swagger, and strike +attitudes? These expressions, extremes in dress, conspicuous actions, +deceive many, and turn the world bitterly against what it ought to +receive. Such peculiarities are wholly unnecessary. Some of the +loveliest women who walk the earth are found among doctors, among +professors, among book-makers, among farmers, even. + +You think there is less chance for girls to work than for boys? Yes, +there is; but, on an examination of statistics, I find that in all +positions--professions, clerkships, manufactures, trades, industries-- +where you find men working, you will find women also, though in smaller +numbers usually. Examine the reports of census takers, and you will +find my statement true. In Mr. Wright's valuable pamphlet on "The +Working Girls of Boston," you will be surprised to find so great a +variety of employments as he there enumerates. There are recorded +merchants, machinists, carpenters, plumbers, cabinet-makers, and +tanners, even. + +Why is it so many of you girls try teaching? Is it because that seems +a genteel way to get a living, and does not seem so hard as other +callings? In 1880 there were 8,562 women engaged in teaching in +Massachusetts. Of these, a fourth would probably have done a better +work in some other way. Teaching is a noble profession: it has great +chances for self-culture and for helpfulness to others. In no profession +can one do more good, if one tries with all one's heart. It is one +of the highest callings even for this reason: a teacher utterly unable +to see any results of her labor, in black and white, at the end of +her pupil's course, as the book-maker may see in the number of printed +pages, is willing to trust that, because she has done what she could, +good will come to her pupil. A carpenter may see his house completed; +but the building of mind, of character, of manhood and womanhood, the +teacher never may see finished. It passes on into the hands of the +great Teacher of all. Although teaching is a very responsible work, +yet does one seldom reach fame in it. The truth is, fame does not stand +for so much work done, but for so much worldly opinion gained. Do not +enter this work of teaching to misunderstand or slight it, but to be +proud of it, and to ennoble it. + +You feel the necessity of earning money, and so must take whatever +work you can get? Alas! I know you do, many of you, dear girls. But +do not think this so very unfortunate. Unless your very life is being +worn out; unless your wages are ground down to a pittance, and your +work is wholly disagreeable, be thankful. You are as well off as the +girls who are languishing with dissipation and _ennui_. The average +girl has the average amount of hardship and blessing in her life. I +know there are many girls who cannot be found among the average. + +If there is no wish on a girl's part to follow a special work, if she +has no marked ability, let her ask the advice of friends; but, more +than that, let her seek, through her own personal efforts, some honest +work. Pluck, not luck; the Yankee, not the aristocrat, earn a living. +For a girl of average ability I think a mingling of manual and mental +labor preferable to purely manual or strictly mental work. There are +many authors, journalists, accountants, etc., who have achieved striking +success; but ordinarily this success has sprung from certain brilliant +or profound mental attributes. Hand labor that requires no thought +does not exercise our best faculties. I cannot specify just here what +occupations an average girl may undertake. I gladly refer to certain +books which contain statistics of work and its profits, or which suggest +occupations: "The Working Girls of Boston," by Carroll D. Wright; "Think +and Act, Men and Women, Work and Wages," by Virginia Penney; "What +Girls Can Do," by Phillis Brown. + +My poor girls, who work so hard, so very hard, who seem daily to narrow +all enjoyment, and to give your very existence to factories and looms, +to dry-goods counters and ready-made clothing stores, who put your +eyes out earning twenty-five cents a day, and sometimes put your souls +out trying to keep breath in your bodies one short year more,--what +shall I say to you? I cannot find the words to tell you what I would +say. Your experience shall not be embittered by being told what to +do and what not to do. Bear your work as well as you can, try to find +something really good about it, do not slight it. Remember you make +the world noble; and, if you have an absorbing desire to work in some +other way, watch every little loop-hole of opportunity, and see if +you cannot make it large enough to jump through to a wider field. Let +us all avoid fickleness, however,--the doing a little of this and of +that: it is poor economy. To grow up to a work, to master it, we must +first be slaves to it. Girls, everywhere, make progress +slowly,--_grow_ in efficiency, and do not shoot up into it. + +Now, I want to talk a little to the girls who have leisure,--so much +of it, sometimes, that it all turns crazy on their hands, and expends +itself in the last most fashionable excitement. Girls too often do +things just because other girls are doing them, never for a moment +considering fitness or ability; consequently they look back upon half- +accomplished bits of work--this or that insanity in worsted, card-board, +wood-carving, modelling, or darning--very much as they would upon +the broken fragments of an upset dinner-table. Away up in that +convenient attic lie the desecrated splendors of the past, scattered +in confusion by charitable mice,--blue and crimson wax-flowers melt +underneath the eaves, all destitute of petals that would not fit on; +patchwork quilts and cushions, in silk and satin distractions, just +fall short of harmony in the arrangement of their squares and colors; +vivid buttercups and daisies mingle with bulky cat-o'-nine-tails,--all +on canvas covered with paint; blacking-jugs adorned with pictures, +embossed and otherwise; moth-eaten Kensington, partly outlined in +conventional lilies and conventional stitches; forlorn-looking cats +and dogs on half-made rugs and slippers,--all, all are there to point +out certain very unpleasant morals, referring chiefly to inability +and lack of perseverance. + +Understand, to excel in worsted, in painting, in any of the arts which +afford so much pleasure, even in amateur work, is highly commendable. +Perhaps to dip into these occupations to pass time might be considered +better than laziness. But to do them simply because others are following +them is wholly unwarrantable. I do not believe in crazes,--do you? +What is worth doing is worth pursuing. + +Intense interest may be necessary to success; but extremes make us +very abrupt, inconsistent, and fickle in our occupations. Test the +quality of your last attempt to make a tree on canvas before you buy +a full set of colors, and before you put out your sign as an artist. +Much study, hard work, aptitude, are required by art;--and the +phenomenal _debut_ of a fully fledged artist "after ten lessons" ("the +whole art taught in six weeks") will never be witnessed. I should say, +before passing further, that even a slight acquaintance with the +decorative arts as practised at present appears to be quite improving to +one's taste, and cultivating to the perceptions. + +Music--singing, playing--is a great accomplishment. Would that every +girl might know its precious helps,--its sources of amusement and +culture, and the divine mysteries of its art. But unless you can express +the musician's thought, and interpret harmonies by harmony, never be +afraid to say, "I cannot play." + +If the crazes which now threaten to capture society, and to seriously +affect the speech, work, dress, and accomplishments of young ladies, +continue at their present rate, I think there will be a grand chance +for escape from them. It will suddenly become the fashion to be +tranquil, plain of speech, real and thorough in every work. Now we +strive our utmost to prevent monotony, and promote variety. The +dressmaker's trade we learn in 1885 will not be of much use in 1886. +Last winter we learned how to cook; and this, we are studying how to +cure by mental processes. Next year we shall go to the gymnasium and +tighten up our muscles. After that, we may open sewing-schools; and, +perhaps, later, turn our attention to literature classes. + +There are so many things a girl can do, even when society claims her,-- +more than ever, I should say! Make work, if you cannot get it, girls. +Encourage poor girls by joining the industrial unions instituted in +their behalf. Go into the hospitals, old ladies' homes, charity bureaus, +flower missions. Join a Chautauqua club, or one of the societies for +the encouragement of studies at home. That one founded in Boston for +home studies, and which now numbers many hundreds, affords excellent +instruction, particularly in literature and history. This educational +society has done a wonderful amount of good through correspondence, +books loaned, criticisms, examinations. Attend the numerous lectures, +exhibits, etc., which are provided free of expense in all large cities. + +Do not be afraid of useful fancy work. One can rest delightfully while +making a row on an afghan, or knitting on a bed slipper. I always pity +a boy who never seems to have any way of occupying himself while he +rests. He whistles, puffs a cigarette, perhaps, or whittles away the +window-seat. Girls have no need of being lazy while they rest. They +certainly will not sit in lawless indifference if they know the blueness +of discontent. Cheerful people are workers; and, when they find any +tendency to go "mooning" over their tasks, they shake themselves into +broad daylight. + +I have suggested but a few of the things girls can do with greatest +profit to themselves and to others. Form reading associations, hygiene +societies, relief clubs, emergency clubs, horticultural unions, charity +bureaus, science clubs, painting clubs. Why are they not just as +entertaining as progressive euchre clubs? You know a girl never does +as well when no incentive is placed before her; so I have hinted at +the value of organization for general improvement, for work, and for +larger usefulness in every sense. The modern sewing-circle, the +missionary associations, even the temperance organizations in churches, +have frequently been most efficient means of holding churches together. +Clubs for boys are not so strongly recommended as for girls, because +these associations for young men come to be their dependence for +entertainment, and consume the hours which ought to be spent at home, +or in the society of both girls and boys. Club-life in England, +particularly London, has taken the place of home-life. Now, the girls +need have no fear from their associations, because they are formed +principally to forward the interests of home. + +Work, then, girls! Work for pleasure, work for profit! Work for the +health of your bodies, and the health of your souls! "You will find +that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help +other people, will, in the quickest and most delicate ways, improve +yourselves." "When men are rightly occupied their amusement grows out +of their work, as the color petals out of a fruitful flower; when they +are faithfully helpful and compassionate, all their emotions become +steady, deep, perpetual, and vivifying to the soul as the natural pulse +to the body." [Footnote: Ruskin.] + +But whatever your work is, girls, do not be in too much of a hurry +for great results. If there is any thing in old countries that strongly +impresses the American mind, it is, probably, the great amount of labor, +the infinite patience, and the centuries of time, that were necessary +to construct their public edifices. We cannot understand such waits, +such slow progress. On the contrary, the fact that most impresses the +mind of a foreigner in our own streets is the hurry, impatience, rush +and scramble of American life. The people walk along the narrow streets +of Boston with such hurried steps, such deeply-seamed faces, such +infinite anxieties, as if they were about to adjust the foundations of +the earth, and had about two minutes to spare before applying the lever. +Go slowly, girls, and your work will last the longer. + +Do not expect to complete your line of reading or study in one winter. +Do not await a large salary for the first year's work. Do not hope +to more than initiate a charitable society in one autumn. Then try +to remember the necessity of concentrating forces, and of bringing +your heaviest action to bear on one point: too many undertakings +dissipate strength and prostrate work. There is a great deal of poor +work done now; and it is said to have been somewhat mediocre so far +through the nineteenth century, because time enough has not been taken +to do thorough work. The strong desire is to get to the end of toil. We +have hardly time to think what to get for dinner or what to wear; but we +get something to eat when we are hungry, and go out into the cold +wearing a spring jacket. + +Now, one good, strong word more for work. We are born to enjoy and +use it; civilization depends upon it, our womanhood is strengthened +by it, our talents increased, our chances of happiness multiplied, +and our service in every department of life is made worthier by the +doing with our might just what lies before us. + + + + +V. + +WHAT TO STUDY. + + + +How much girls think they will do when they get out of school! How +many books they think they will read!--histories of Greece and of Rome, +Grote and Curtius, of Plutarch and Gibbon; histories of France, Germany, +and England, Guizot, Ranke, Green and Freeman; biographies of Caesar, +Leo, Lorenzo, Frederick, Elizabeth, and Napoleon! How they will feed +on the literature of modern nations, from Chaucer through Tennyson; +from Luther through Goethe; from Rabelais through Victor Hugo; from +Bryant and Irving through Hawthorne and Longfellow! How much they will +translate from Homer and Virgil and Tacitus; from Schiller, Racine, +Fenelon, and Moliere! How much philosophy they will read from Darwin, +Spencer, Huxley! How they will trace the stars in the heavens, and +the marks of God's fingers on the rocks and sands! How they will +separate into their parts water and air, plants and animals! How they +will haunt the libraries, museums, laboratories, and lecture-rooms!--all +when they get out of school. + +Oh, my dear girls, you will not do any of these things unless you have +much leisure, and an eager thirst for knowledge. Some new fascination-- +society and pleasures--or special duties and pressing occupations will +drive the fervid desires of your school-days quite from your hearts, +or make it impossible for you to gratify them. At any rate, in +attempting to pursue all these studies, you will find that neither the +ordinary length of life, nor the average brain, will be sufficient for +the work. Your lists of books, like your lists of intentions, will serve +only to fill the waste-paper baskets. + +But now let us see what you can do, girls, if you will. Almost every +one of you spends a few hours a week in reading, and some of you pour +away "oceans of time" over fashionable fiction. Why not give just two +or three little hours to study,--study so pleasant and so arranged +that you may call it reading, or recreating, or getting acquainted +with "the best of all good company"? After a while you will find these +hours precious and necessary. They will give you rest, and a greater +number of useful and pleasant subjects to think about; they will afford +you broader and readier information; and they will deepen within you +an interest in the highest and most helpful things this life affords. + +What we get in the average school is largely rudimentary knowledge, +the object of which is to create a love for more knowledge, to bend +our inclinations towards what is true and right, to prepare our minds +for larger duties,--in a word, to fit us for a noble womanhood and +a useful citizenship. + +Now, suppose you feel more kindly towards natural science than you +do towards mathematics; or suppose you have more fondness for language +than for philosophy: well, just at this period, since you are really +out of school, you ought to spend a few spare hours on the object of +your favor. You should branch off from the trunk of knowledge, and +flourish mainly in one direction, when you will find it will take all +the time you can give to grow into any size, and blossom into one kind +of fruitage. + +There are so many things to learn in any department of knowledge, and +the amount increases so rapidly, year by year, that, after a certain +measure of general information has been acquired in the schools, it +is almost necessary to make rigid choice of what we shall study, or +of what we shall read. This may be narrowing, and even superficial, +in one sense, since it confines our information within one channel, +and prevents it from mingling with the ebb and flow of broader human +interests. It may make us too regardless of any pursuit aside from +our own, and bring us to the condition which many a foreigner finds +himself in,--that of holding a complete knowledge about his own trade, +but utter ignorance of every other. But I think not. If we are really +intelligent, and comprehend the difficulties of the department of +knowledge we are working in, I believe we have respect for the +department another fills, though we know nothing of it. Of course, we +are always to consider that the study we have chosen is best for us, +and, therefore, to be lovingly and jealously followed. I think the +method of choosing special studies is the only way of acquiring thorough +and accurate knowledge. + +If you are devoting your odd hours to literature, it is unnecessary +to make pretensions to a knowledge of chemistry. Do not be afraid to +say, "I do not know." We all expect too much learning from one another, +especially elders from younger people. If John can tell his father +a great deal about surveying, and Mary cannot, no matter: she can tell +them both a good deal about physiology. + +As far as possible, in your studying or reading, group those subjects +together which belong together. If you are inclined to the physical +sciences, bring into your work natural philosophy, general chemistry, +general physiology, biology, geology, and mineralogy. If you desire +to know more of one branch of natural science, as, for example, biology, +why not group zoology, conchology, anatomy, physiology, botany, +microscopy? I would always be careful not to make the group too large, +though learning from one science helps in another. + +This grouping system is admirable. I believe that an honest observer +of the highest institutions for learning in our land, whether they +were founded for the interests of young men or young women, will remark +that there is too small a chance for grouping studies, and that the +opportunities for choosing electives are too few. The American idea +is, to get through the academy or college, and graduate with a diploma, +rather than to pursue a study till such time as those who know most +about that branch of learning shall deem a student ready for entrance +upon higher work. I must think the German universities superior to +ours in this respect. Life is short, and we can learn but little. I +do not understand why it is necessary to spend several years in the +preparation of certain studies for entrance to a college, when there +will be no special use made of them after matriculation. I do not see +how the imperative pursuit of science, for example, in school or +college, is going to help the girl who is determined to devote future +years to literature. Why, of course, it will not harm her; but why not +be more economical of time and strength? + +I can see, and know from experience, that the elective system is not +wholly practical in high schools, nor for girls and boys who are not +yet eighteen years old: because boys and girls need a stated amount +of general knowledge, which they get in the high schools; because they +are not sufficiently decided in their own minds and feelings,--not +sufficiently developed, mentally, to really know what is best for them +to study; and because so many boys and girls will shirk the hardest +studies. I believe college presidents give these reasons sometimes +in regard to their own students. But it is to me incomprehensible that +men and women in college should not know what they are there for. If +they are working for the name of being college graduates, it is no +matter whether electives are presented to them or not. If they have +not any preferences in their studies, they never will have in life. +If they wish for a general broad education, which fits a student for +no special position, but makes him abler to fill any place in after +years, then only is a general, rather than a particular, course to +be recommended. In this last case, the counsel of teachers and friends +is indispensable; but, even here, choice is necessary. + +But, girls, I am talking chiefly to those among you who have left the +high school or academy, and have reached an age when you have ideas +of your own. I shall be glad when it is possible, in the college or +the home, for every girl, who wishes, to follow, special or grouped +studies; and when she will no longer censure herself because, outside +of elementary knowledge of it, she is not acquainted with the study +her neighbor is pursuing. + +In the programme of the new Bryn Mawr College, I have noted, with a +feeling of satisfaction, the strong recommendations to follow grouped +studies. If I understand the calendar of the University of Michigan, +and the register of Cornell University, I find in these institutions +a broad chance for taking electives and studies which properly belong +together. These should be high commendations. + +There is as much to be said on how to study as on what to study, yet +I believe the question may be briefly answered. Study so that the ideas +of authors may become your own, though remoulded into such forms as +your own character, reason, experience and highest thoughts allow. +Suppose you are studying English literature. Be watchful, first, for +the writer's ideas: be sure you get _his_ thoughts, not such as +some one else says are his, according to some one's else interpretation; +then observe the manner in which those ideas are expressed. The merits +of a literary work lie quite as much in style as in the thoughts which +it contains. The cause or purpose of a book, the thoughts it holds, +its suggestiveness, its style, seem to me important points to bear +in mind when reading or studying a work. + +You may be reading George Eliot's "Romola." Be sure, when the book +ends, that you see somewhat the purpose for which it was written. Be +impressed with its story: follow its wonderful descriptions, its +analysis of character; remark the knowledge which was brought to bear in +representing that great historical character Savonarola, the Florentine +republic, and the rule of the De Medicis; be moved by the pathos of +the story, its dignity and beauty; but remember most, that she who +begins with virtue grows, though through fiery furnaces of tribulation, +into a radiant, clear, crystal womanhood. + +Perhaps you are reading Dowden's "Life of Southey." Be delighted with +the ease, the charm, of Dowden's style: dwell upon it. Consider his +fine powers as a biographer, but be impressed with the unsurpassed +diligence of Southey's life. + +Are you reading Emerson's shorter essay on "Nature"? So peruse it that, +when you go out among the trees and grass and flowers, you will feel +the same kinship with them as did he. + +History and biography, the sketch and criticism even, have been made +truly charming of late years by the vividness in which actions have +been depicted and characters portrayed, as well as by clearness and +beauty in expression. We turn to an historical work with as much zest +as to a romance, and find in it, now, that enthusiasm, that liveliness, +that interest in human affairs which old historians allowed to be +obscured by dates and names. If you are studying Roman history, be never +so particular about when each battle was fought as about the great +causes of the rise of Rome,--energy, pride, deprivation, hardihood, +union of citizens, sturdiness, ferocious perseverance, courage, +abstinence, valor: remark the results attained by these qualities,-- +Rome, the mistress of the world, with an empire stretching to the ends +of the earth. Then note the causes of her fall,--greediness, wealth, +luxury, effeminacy, satiety, corrupt morals,--and bring the lesson home +to your own nation, and to your own selves. Says Mr. Ruskin, "It is of +little consequence how many positions of cities a woman knows, or how +many dates of events, or how many names of celebrated persons--it is +not the object of education to turn a woman into a dictionary. But +it is deeply necessary that she should be taught to enter with her +whole personality into the history she reads,--to picture the passages +of it vitally in her own bright imagination; to apprehend, with her +fine instincts, the pathetic circumstances and dramatic relations which +the historian too often only eclipses by his reasoning, and disconnects +by his arrangement. It is for her to trace the hidden equities of divine +reward, and catch sight, through the darkness, of the fateful threads +of woven fire that connect error with its retribution." + +If you are studying the natural sciences, so follow them that you may +see more clearly the rocks, the sea, the sky, the verdure of the earth, +the mountains and the valleys, the rivers and the lakes,--all the +creations upon the earth, as far as you have studied them,--so that +a new heaven and a new earth shall be spread before you, and you shall +learn to appreciate more fully the beneficence of God. + +Are mathematics your choice? Then learn from them the value of +stability, fixedness; the worth of accuracy in all studies and in all +callings; the power of durability, especially as it refers to the +durableness of right against wrong; the perfections of forms and +symbols; the truths of reasoning; the necessity of discipline. + +Are you translating from this or that author? Be sure that you are +first accurate; then, that you have entered into the spirit of the +writer and the work, that your own language is being made more copious, +and fluency of speech or written discourse acquired. The discipline +of translating accurately is next in value to that obtained from the +study of numbers. The difficulty of turning this accurate translation +into the idiom of one's own language is most stubborn. + +It would be very pleasant for us to talk about the choice of books +we ought to make in our reading, and I think it would be quite +profitable to hunt up those authorities who have given most attention to +the subject of reading. There are many such authorities. + +David Pryde, in his practical papers called "The Highways of +Literature," thinks the true method of dealing with books is, "(1) +To read first the one or two great standard works in each department +of literature; and (2) to confine, then, our reading to that department +which suits the particular bent of our mind." Then he lays down these +definite rules, telling us how to read: "1. Before you begin to peruse +a book, know something about the author. 2. Read the preface carefully. +3. Take a comprehensive survey of the table of contents. 4. Give your +whole attention to whatever you read. 5. Be sure to note the most +valuable passages as you read. 6. Write out, in your own language, a +summary of the facts you have noted. 7. Apply the results of your +reading to your every-day duties." These rules ought, every one of them, +to be emphasized in our association with books. In my own experience, I +find Number 4 of great importance, as well as Numbers 5 and 7. I would +add, by way of caution, that the moment you become weary from reading, +or grow nervous with studying, you should stop. Studying never does +harm, but nervous excitement does. When you have puzzled your brains an +hour over a problem in arithmetic, the probability is that you have +ceased thinking rationally, and are only plunging deeper and deeper into +confusion. Nervous prostration comes from unreasonable taxation of +the brain oftener than from real, systematic study. + +I think you will find a little book by Charles F. Richardson very +helpful in regard to your reading. It is called "The Choice of Books," +and it treats of such subjects as, "What Books to Read," "How Much +to Read," "What Books to Own," "The Motive of Reading," and other topics +of a similar nature. + +It will make an agreeable conclusion to our thoughts on what to read, +and how to read, to quote the following from Richardson: "Homer, +Plutarch, Herodotus, and Plato; Virgil, Livy, and Tacitus; Dante, Tasso, +and Petrarch; Cervantes; Thomas a Kempis; Goethe and Schiller; Chaucer, +Spenser, Shakespeare, Milton, Bacon, Sir Thomas Browne, Bunyan, Addison, +Gray, Scott, and Wordsworth; Hawthorne, Emerson, Motley, Longfellow, +Bryant, Lowell, Holmes, and Whittier. He who reads these, and such +as these, is not in serious danger of spending his time amiss. But +not even such a list as this is to be received as a necessity by every +reader. One may find Cowper more profitable than Wordsworth; to another +the reading of Bancroft may be more advantageous than that of Herodotus; +while a third may gain more immediate and lasting good from historical +novels like Eber's 'Uarda,' or Kingsley's 'Hypatia,' than from a long +and patient attempt to master Grote's 'History of Greece,' or Gibbon's +'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.' Each individual reader must +try to determine, first of all, what is best for himself. In forming +his decision, let him make the utmost use of the best guides, not +forgetting that the average opinion of educated men is pretty sure +to be a correct opinion; but let him never put aside his own honesty +and individuality. He must choose his books as he chooses his friends, +because of their integrity and helpfulness, and because of the pleasure +their society gives him." + + + + +VI. + +ENGLISH LITERATURE AND OTHER STUDIES. + + + +In the majority of our higher schools, and probably in the education +of most persons, a deficiency in the knowledge of English is to be +remarked. Now, if girls are not fond of science, nor inclined to the +study of philosophy, foreign languages, music, or painting, why do +they not follow certain courses in English? Why do they not study +English literature, paying heed to its history, its rhetoric, but more +especially to the works of its greatest authors? Literature is the +most cultivating to the mind, the most necessary to a general education, +and it affords the most pleasure to persons, no matter what their +condition may be. Easily pursued, it requires no capital but time, and +costs no more than a walk to the public library. The liberal educations +which some persons have acquired from what they have read in English +literature demanded only wise choice of books, time, and perseverance. + +I find, on an examination of the requirements for entrance to college, +that English is the least regarded. It rarely goes beyond spelling, +punctuation, figures of speech, and the reading of prescribed books, +few in number, and which do not require a month's study. The absurdity +of demanding all the rules of Latin prosody, when the student never +read a line of the "Deserted Village," and probably will not, through +his college course! Says one catalogue, which represents a great +institution, "A large proportion of those who seek admission to the +university are found to be very deficient in their preparation in +English." It is not surprising. May they be helped before they graduate +from the university. + +In looking over the catalogues of numerous colleges where girls are +educated, I have been indeed gratified with the great advantages they +present to young women. How I wish I could enjoy even a few of these +privileges,--these opportunities for a higher education! Is it not +much to be grateful for, that so many of you girls not only can go +to college, but really do go? I am glad for you all. Smith and +Wellesley, Boston University and the Annex at Cambridge, Michigan +University, Cornell, Bryn Mawr, and the rest, are all magnificent +attractions to the student. Yes, indeed! But how I wish that +English--English literature--was more earnestly pursued in every one of +them! + +Within the limits of this talk, I can say but little on the study of +English; so I shall confine my suggestions to a few courses of reading, +which I hope may be helpful to some of you. + +A knowledge of literature implies an actual acquaintance with the works +of authors; and no lists of names and dates, no anecdotes, nor literary +gossip, can take the place of this acquaintance: but, to make these +works more useful and intelligible, we should connect history with +them. How can I fully appreciate the oratory of the American Revolution, +if I know nothing of the war between England and the Colonies? How +can I get the real value out of "The Talisman," "Kenilworth," or +"Ivanhoe," if I have no knowledge of the Crusades, of Elizabeth's reign, +or of that period in English history when Richard of the Lion Heart was +king? Again, how can I understand why any age in English prose or poetry +was characterized by a peculiar kind of thinkers, if I do not know +the history and tendency of that age? Why, in one epoch, do we have +men writing on classical subjects in a way which represents form as +more important than matter? and why, in another age, are writers turning +from an artificial to a natural style? + +Experience proves that it is profitless to study the formative periods +of English literature before trying to get acquainted with it in its +present condition. One should work backwards, and not forwards, in +this study. The practice of beginning with Anglo-Saxon writers, and +studying down to nineteenth-century authors, is to be utterly condemned. +How can I hope to like or even comprehend an English version of Caedmon, +or, later, Chaucer, if I cannot yet see the beauty of Whittier? The +history and philosophy of English literature are indeed important, +but they are entirely subordinate to the works themselves. + +English literature was not hatched full-fledged; its feathers have +been growing for centuries; it did not even fly high till Elizabeth's +reign; and it has not been prolific till within a century or two. We +want to see what the bird looks like full grown, before we can +understand about the embryo in the egg. + +In the first place, I should get familiar with some very concise manual, +so that I might refer to it for guidance; but my most earnest work +should be with certain epochs in literature, and with special +representative authors, around whom I could group other dependent +writers, or such as did not so nearly represent the period I was +studying. + +If you are studying epochwise, why not read choice selections from +the prose of the nineteenth century,--some of its masterpieces? Get +a general notion of the earlier parts of the century by consulting +some manual on the subject, such as Spalding's "English Literature," +chapters XIII., XV., and XVI. When you have ascertained that the reviews +founded in the first quarter of the century contained the most valuable +literature, read some of the papers in the "Edinburgh Review," the +"Quarterly," and "Blackwoods." Very good collections have been made +from them, especially in a series of books known as "Modern British +Essayists." Read, for example, Sydney Smith's essay on "Female +Education"; one of Jeffrey's criticisms on the early poets of this +century; an historical or a biographical article by Alison; or one +of Professor Wilson's sketches in his "Recreations of Christopher +North." But be most desirous of reading that brilliant essayist, and +that most impressive of contributors to the "Edinburgh Review,"-- +Macaulay. I wish you would read his articles which have special +reference to literature, perhaps in this order: Moore's "Life of Byron," +"Mme. D'Arblay," "Goldsmith," "Samuel Johnson," "Addison," "Dryden," +"Leigh Hunt," "Bunyan," "Milton," "Bacon." Of miscellaneous essays, +please note "Von Ranke," "Warren Hastings," and "Frederick the Great." + +After Macaulay, study Carlyle, though only in parts, reading "Heroes +and Hero Worship," and "Burns." The last is especially valuable to +you. Note Carlyle's sincerity, his "gospel of work," his love of Nature, +his earnestness, his despair, his giant intellect. If you are interested +in his peculiar merits, read the "French Revolution." + +Read selections from Emerson; but always slowly, carefully, dwelling +longest on this writer's more practical essays, those which inspire +impulses within you to nobler living. + +Realizing how great an influence Nature has exerted over the prose +as well as the poetry of this century, study Emerson's two essays on +"Nature"; selections from Thoreau, especially from "Excursions"; +Kingsley's "Winter Garden"; passages from Ruskin, particularly those +written about "The Sky," "Clouds," "Water," "Mountains," "Grass." + +You will appreciate the critical spirit of this age. Though most of +the authors so far mentioned were critics, as well as essayists, you +will find it helpful to read from the following: De Quincey, Hazlitt, +Hallam, Ruskin, Whipple. If you can read but one work from DeQuincey, +take, instead of a criticism, his "Confessions of an English Opium +Eater," the style of which is considered masterly. Its sentences are +melodious, its English elegant and classical. From Ruskin, that writer +who founded art criticism, read those delightful passages brought +together in the volume called "The True and the Beautiful"; and +carefully peruse the little book known as "Sesame and Lilies." Hallam I +should refer to for special information in regard to European +literature. Our own Whipple will aid you to a knowledge of Elizabethan +learning. + +Next, read the essays of Lamb, such as are included in "Elia." Love +the quaint, beautiful spirit of the author; and take delight in his +witticisms, his reveries, and playful fancies. + +Perhaps, just here, it would be well to introduce Irving. Pay especial +heed to his "Sketch-Book," "The Alhambra," and "Bracebridge Hall." +In order to appreciate the position this writer holds in American +literature, and the feeling with which he is regarded, both in our +own country and abroad, get some knowledge of the condition of our +literature before Irving placed it upon a firm basis, and learn about +the grace and dignity of this man's deportment. Appreciate, too, the +beauties of this author's style in writing. + +Then examine the sketch as it appears in Leigh Hunt's "Wishing Cap +Papers," Thackeray's "Roundabout Papers," Curtis's "Potiphar Papers." +You might include under this head such rare bits of prose as you cannot +conveniently classify, as, for example, Dr. Brown's "Rab and His +Friends," Curtis's "Prue and I." + +Now look a while at the uses of biography. I think the study of every +great author's works should be either prefaced or supplemented by a +good biography or correspondence. This necessary aid to literature +has been amply afforded by the celebrated "English Men of Letters" +series, and also by the "American Men of Letters." The influence of +biographies upon your lives you will find of the highest importance. +There are other lives than those of purely literary men and women which +I should recommend. + +You must have become aware of the great value of historical literature +in this age. Note what additions it has received from the intellects +of such historians as Macaulay, by his "Life of Frederick the Great" +and by his "History of England"; as Motley, by his "Dutch Republic"; +as Prescott, by his "Ferdinand and Isabella"; as Alison, by his "History +of Europe"; as Froude, by his "Life of Caesar." One can hardly be +without such valuable reference-books as Green's "History of England," +Freeman's various histories, and those included in the Epoch Series. +But, before reading any of these works, it would be well to read various +essays on how history should be written. There is an article by Macaulay +on this subject, very brilliantly written, and truthfully. There are +also valuable essays on the same subject by Froude, Freeman, Carlyle, +Emerson, Miss Cleveland. + +You might profitably combine with this topic of history that of travels. +You know works of travel form a large, and certainly a delightful, +part of our reading. + +You have doubtless noticed the popularity which fiction always receives. +It embraces the majority of the books written in this age. Try to study, +in a concise way, the development of the novel from the time of +Richardson and his immediate followers, and find its most perfect +expression in the works of George Eliot, Dickens, Thackeray, Hawthorne. +Look a little at the history of the romance previous to this century, +beginning, if you like, away back with Thomas Malory's "Morte d'Arthur." +Find the best illustration of the romance in Scott. To such a writer +as Scott you might add Cooper and Kingsley, though the romance is +presented by the last writer in but one powerful book, "Westward, Ho!"-- +at least, it seems so to me. Novelists always require a very just choice +of their works. If you start with a novel of Dickens which does not lead +you gradually into an appreciation of his genius, you will throw the +book away in disgust. One needs to be particular about the order in +which one reads Thackeray, or Scott, or Cooper, or Kingsley, even. I +think the same may be said of Hawthorne. + +In whatever good novel you read, be as careful to notice the artistic +merits of the work, the beauties and graces of its style, as the +construction of its story. + +If you prefer to study the poetry of this century, you should strive +first to gain a knowledge of that which was written in the last quarter +of the eighteenth century. You should remark the great changes produced +in the minds of writers by the French Revolution, and note the growing +love for freedom of opinion and freedom in government; also the +increasing love for the natural world. Then you are ready to begin +with a programme like this:-- + +1. A General Survey of Poetry in this Century. + +2. The Study of Nature and Man. + +3. Wordsworth and his Poetry. + +4. The Imaginative,--Coleridge's "Ancient Mariner." + +5. The third Lake Poet,--Southey. + +6. The History of the Ballad. + +7. Campbell. + +8. The Narrative,--Scott's Poems. + +9. Byron's "Childe Harold." + +10. The Melodies of Moore. + +11. A Study of the Beautiful,--Keats and Shelley. + +12. Various Secondary Poets accomplished in Verse. + +13. The Song Writers. + +14. The Victorian Era. + +15. Tennyson. + +16. Woman as Poet,--Mrs. Browning. + +17. Humor in Verse,--Hood, Holmes. + +18. Poetry in America,--Bryant. + +19. Longfellow and Whittier. + +20. Lowell and Taylor. + +21. Robert Browning. + +How delightful it would be to follow a programme which should include +only American writers, in either prose or poetry! + +Again I feel the necessity of urging you to study these authors for +the thought there is in their works, and for the style in which those +thoughts are expressed. Make these works text-books and pleasure-books. + +If you should wish in a more general way to get acquainted with such +specimens of English as combine the best style with the best matter, +or with such as present either excellency in thought, or beauty in +form, you might find help in the following selections. I have culled +their titles, for the most part, from the catalogues of our leading +schools and colleges:-- + +Chaucer's "Clerk's Tale;" Shakespeare's plays, particularly "Julius +Caesar," "Merchant of Venice," "Macbeth," and "The Tempest;" Milton's +"Paradise Lost" and "Comus;" first five cantos of Spenser's "Faery +Queen;" Goldsmith's "Deserted Village" and "She Stoops to Conquer;" +Scott's "Lady of the Lake" and "Marmion;" Burns's "Cotter's Saturday +Night;" Coleridge's "Ancient Mariner;" Keats' "Eve of St. Agnes;" +Lowell's "Vision of Sir Launfal;" Longfellow's "Courtship of Miles +Standish" and "Evangeline;" Tennyson's "Princess" and "In Memoriam;" +Whittier's "Snow Bound;" Sidney's "Defence of Poesie;" Bacon's Essays; +Carlyle's "Burns;" Emerson's "Eloquence;" Macaulay's essay on "Milton;" +Thackeray's "Henry Esmond" and "English Humorists;" Dickens's "David +Copperfield" and "Tale of Two Cities;" Scott's "Kenilworth" and "The +Abbot;" George Eliot's "Silas Marner" and "Romola;" Kingsley's "Westward +Ho!"; Irving's "Sketch Book;" Ruskin's "Sesame and Lilies;" Addison's +De Coverley papers; "Essays of Elia;" Longfellow's "Hyperion;" +Whittier's essay on "The Beautiful;" Hawthorne's "Scarlet Letter" and +"Twice-Told Tales;" Thoreau's "Excursions;" Leigh Hunt's "Wishing Cap +Papers;" Arthur Helps's essay "On the Art of Living with Others;" +Curtis's "Potiphar Papers;" Prescott's "Last of the Incas;" Motley's +"Siege of Leyden." You will observe these names are given without regard +to system. + +Special topics may offer themselves to your mind without reference +to an epoch, as the History of Fiction, the History of the Drama; or +it may often be most profitable to study the literature of a certain +reign or age,--as the Age of Elizabeth, the Reign of Queen Anne, the +Period of the English Reformation, the Revolutionary Period. Another +way of studying literature is suggested by those who, having a general +knowledge of it, devote their hours of reading chiefly to one author, +as, for example, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton. Experience proves to +me that the study of a certain number of masterpieces, around which +selections of less worth may be grouped, is the most thorough way to +proceed. + +Intimately connected with the study of literature is the science of +rhetoric. By means of it we learn to appreciate good style, we are +better fitted to criticise the works we read, and are certainly made +better able to correct our own faults in writing. It is indispensable +to the study of English literature. + +As I have already stated, history and literature are closely connected, +yet it is quite possible to study history so that it will have no direct +bearing upon literature. + +It would be an agreeable task to map out here courses in history; but +the work has been so admirably done by Professor Charles K. Adams, +there is really no need of any suggestions except such as are found +in his "Manual of Historical Literature." In this work you will find +the names and descriptions of all the books required to get a knowledge +of any historical subject. The author has also given definite courses +of reading on historical subjects, including in his plan all valuable +works which border upon the subjects. + +In history, as in literature, the most attractive and thorough way +of studying is by epochs. In this connection, the little histories +known as the "Epoch Series" are most valuable. The books are divided +into the two general classes of ancient and modern history. Each work +attempts to give a picture of an important epoch, and to faithfully +discuss the period. The series pertaining to modern history includes +"The Normans and the Feudal System," "The Crusades," "The Beginning +of the Middle Ages," "The Early Plantagenets," "Edward the III.," "The +Era of the Protestant Revolution," "The Thirty Years' War," "The Houses +of Lancaster and York," "The Age of Elizabeth," "The Fall of the +Stuarts," "The Puritan Revolution," "The Age of Anne," "Frederick the +Great." + +I should study these subjects, and group about them such works, in +history, biography, fiction, or poetry, as Professor Adams suggests. + +I have not selected for special remark literature, rhetoric, and history +because you are girls. If this were so, I should have followed the +dictates of society, and added the study of languages. Young women +and young men need no particular educational differences. It has been +proved that girls are as capable of excelling in any study as boys +are. Let me quote to you the following:-- + +"A very common belief is, that women, even when studious, are rather +literary than scientific. Statistics prove either that they are changing +in this regard, or that the notion is erroneous. The great majority +of women at the universities of Zurich and Geneva study not letters, +but science and medicine. M. Ernest Legouve reported in a recent +competition for fellowships in the University of France, 'The papers +of the scientific candidates were greatly superior to those of letters. +This result contradicts a very general opinion, which I myself have +strongly supported, that scientific studies--the abstract sciences +and mathematics--must hold a subordinate place in women's education, +because they are incompatible with the nature of the female intellect. +We have been mistaken.' In England, Miss Ormerod has distinguished +herself by her observations on insect life. Very recently a paper was +read before the Mathematical Society of London by Mrs. Bryant, Sc.D., +on the geometrical form of perfectly regular cell structure, illustrated +by models of cube and rhombic dodecahedron. In another section, Mme. +Traube Mengarini studies the function of the brain in fishes; while, +in our own country, Mrs. Treat and others have made valuable progress +in scientific research." [Footnote: Graphic.] + + + + +VII. + +THE COMMONPLACE. + + + +Commonplace! Why, what is commonplace? Were it not better to call all +things ordinary, or else nothing common? I suppose the pyramids are +commonplace to the Egyptians, and St. Peter's to the Romans, drawing +forth no words of wonder unless on special occasions; just as the stars, +in their thronging pilgrimage across the sky, elicit no remarks from +us, unless one falls out of the procession; and just as the dawn comes +to us unfolding the new day without our ever greeting it, unless it +be heralded with pomp of crimson and gold. Travel over the world, make +your path a belt around the earth, visit all that is wonderful, and +see all races of people,--do this without ever thinking deeply on the +objects presented to sight or mind, and all things will become +commonplace, unsatisfactory, dull, dronish. + +Believe me, girls, there is nothing commonplace that is worth thinking +about. And, pray, has God made any object which is not worth a thought? + +Are you living in a city, girls, surrounded by opportunities for +improving your mental faculties; blessed by association with persons +of refinement; favored with that peculiar culture which only great +cities can freely offer in their art-galleries, their museums, their +lecture-rooms; and stimulated to do good to the poor about your streets? +You are, indeed, favored: your lot is an enviable one. + +Do you live out of town, and quite removed from the attractions of +a metropolis? Ah! your home, then, is under clearer skies, which the +city artists can only imitate; you live amidst the decorations which +highest Nature imparts but to country landscapes. Without the especial +occupations of city life, you escape its rush and tumult. You are being +taught by slower, yet as attractive, methods, the grand lessons of +life. The instruction which comes from woods and streams and hills, +and the intercourse which arises among hearty country people, are more +thorough and more cordial than the brick walls and hurrying crowds +of a city can afford. Your chances for even aesthetic culture are not +to be despised. Though you see fewer objects of art, listen to fewer +men of genius, perhaps are obliged to be less among books, you learn +to know the artistic works more truly, you appreciate the lecture more +fully, and you remember the books you read longer. + +Is your home by the ocean, on some sterile length of sand or rock, +and amongst sea-faring people? Still, you are girls to be envied; for +the sea has grand thoughts to tell you, and the rocks are full of +meaning. The bracing air, the salt breeze, the impetuous beat of the +sea, must arouse energy within you which even the heat of summer cannot +wholly allay. Surely, the hospitable, the generous-hearted, people of +your town must prove to you the worth of intercourse with them. + +Considering, now, the position of a girl in her home, in society, in +the world, I suppose we must make the confession that a large part +of the discontent we have found among girls has arisen from +dissatisfaction with their positions. Her resources, her industries, her +pleasures, are all too narrow for her, the girl complains. Now, my dear +girls, just think one moment! Isn't it rather your ignorance of your +surroundings, your lack of effort to find out everything good and joyful +in them, which have made you discontented? Don't you think you may be +looking for something above your heads which really lies under your +hands? Have you made the most of what you already possess? When one has +seen England and France, then one is seized with an ardent desire to +visit Germany, Italy, Russia, and Spain. When a girl has a watch, she +feels a great longing for a diamond. The means of gratifying one wish +are the surest passports to another wish. Oh, yes! it is well to be +dissatisfied sometimes. It is never quite right to be fully contented, +after a noble endeavor; but do let us stop, now and then, to see if +our present condition, and what it brings to us, have not something +in them as good as the future can offer. + +Would it not be a good rule to make, never to get a new book till we +have read the last one we bought; not to look at the second picture +in the gallery till we have some idea of the first we see; not to climb +Mount Washington till we have had the view from the hills in our own +neighborhood? + +But I suppose you think that persons, rather than objects, are +commonplace,--that even some girls are so? Well, it may be you have +the truth on your side; but I should as soon think of commonplace +flowers, or gems, or rainbows, as of commonplace girls. You remark, "Oh, +she is very ordinary, is not at all interesting! She is neither +cultured, rich, stylish, nor pretty. She is stupid!" Ah, girls, girls, +do you really know what she is, or what she may become? A girl +commonplace! Suppose she is not lively, is not fond of parties, does not +use slang appropriately at all, is utterly ignorant of the last freak of +fashion, and hardly knows whether her skirt is draped or plain; suppose +she has, on the whole, a rather forlorn appearance, being pitifully +unconscious of what is unbecoming in dress, or gait, or habit; suppose, +in fact, she does not at once show you she has any special faculty,-- +well, I have seen such a girl win a prejudiced person completely, and +show that, though it cost patience to get acquainted with her, the +acquaintance was worth every effort. A girl of this kind often takes us +by surprise, and proves reliable in an emergency. Something remarkable +is done, and we want to know who did it! We are amazed when we hear in +answer the name of some quiet girl of whom we had never thought much, +and we exclaim, "Why, I did not know she could do any thing! Where did +she ever get the courage? I didn't know she had a speck of brains, +or heart, or any kind of faculty,--no brilliancy to her!" + +Yes, girls, it must be charming to be brilliant, to be apt at repartee, +to scatter bright remarks among a company as a queen scatters largess +among the throngs on coronation day, to have a following in society +who are like ladies in waiting. Oh, it must be delightful, for a while, +to be a society heroine! You know just such a girl. She leads a dozen +in her steps, and her remarks are quoted whenever the dozen are +together. Ah, she is so much admired! The way in which she lets a stray +look hang down over her forehead, the becoming toss of her head, the +coquettish raising of her eyes, the shrug of her shoulders, the ring +of her laugh,--the way she does every thing with her pretty face, her +graceful form,--is so lovely! She is such a very "bright" girl too! +Yes, "bright" is the word now used to distinguish one who is in +appearance somewhat more than the average person. + +But, girls, why not say that your friend is pretty, graceful, +good-natured; that she dresses becomingly, is rather cultivated in her +tastes; that she is confident of herself, and a little conceited and +imperious; that she is quick, and ready with somewhat pert answers; and +that she is seen at her best in society? + +In spite of frowns and closed ears, girls, I am going to insist that +all the attractions of a brilliant, or outwardly beautiful, girl are +as nothing compared with the attractions of character which spring +from many a plain, modest, quiet girl. Are you to wear your choicest +attributes as you do your clothes? A sure, strong arm in danger, a +gentle word in sorrow, an honest bit of counsel in doubt, courage in +times of trial, hearty praise in periods of endeavor,--all qualities +which have their origin in noble character,--you will come to feel +are infinitely better than brilliancy. You will appreciate them in +those from whom external beauty has departed, or you will recognize +the loveliness of these characteristics in the ever-living beauty which +the soul draws upon faces otherwise plain and homely. Cultivate that +power of insight which will enable you to look beyond eyes and nose +and mouth into the heart and soul of your friends: then you will see +beauty indeed, then you will know how precious and how beautiful a +woman's mind and a woman's character is. Then you will understand how +the poet writes her song, how the artist paints her rose, how the +musician meets out harmonies, how the teacher makes truth attractive. +More than this--much more than this--will come from insight. When you +have learned to look for inner beauty you will learn to make it your +own. Behind your lovely faces and your beautiful forms there will be +nourished the loftiest ideality of womanhood, which will make you not +only comprehend the worth of another, but will help you to interpret all +that is best and loveliest everywhere. It's very sweet to us to recall +that such women as Alice and Phoebe Cary, Helen Hunt, Mrs. Browning, and +Jean Ingelow were able to express in words such beautiful thoughts as +could arise only from beautiful souls; but it is dearer yet to remember +that women, whose numbers cannot be counted, are living those thoughts +by daily acts. Learn to lift the cover from the casket of a woman's soul +and you shall see jewels that never yet have been exposed to the glance +of one who looks for them in sparkling eyes, in glowing cheeks, and +radiant hair. If there is any thing most sweet and lovely, any thing +which ought to distinguish one girl from another, it is character. + +I wish, as a favor to your friend who now talks with you in print, +since she cannot speak with you face to face,--I wish you would read +an essay on "The Beautiful," to be found among the prose works of +Whittier. There is such delicate admiration of womanliness in it; there +is so much encouragement, so much love of that beauty which shows itself +in character, rather than in form and presence; there is such an +emphasis put to the truth that from the purity of our own minds and +hearts come our knowledge of the beautiful, and our ability to find the +beautiful everywhere. "'Handsome is that handsome does!--hold up your +heads, girls!'... Be good, be womanly, be gentle, generous in your +sympathies, heedful of the well-being of all around you; and, my word +for it, you will not lack kind words of admiration. ... Every mother's +daughter of you _can_ be beautiful. You can envelop yourselves in an +atmosphere of moral and intellectual beauty, through which your +otherwise plain faces will look forth like those of angels. Beautiful to +Ledyard, stiffening in the cold of a northern winter, seemed the +diminutive, smoke-stained women of Lapland, who wrapped him in their +furs, and ministered to his necessities with kindness and gentle words +of compassion. Lovely to the homesick heart of Park seemed the dark +maids of Sego, as they sung their low and simple song of welcome beside +his bed, and sought to comfort the white stranger who had 'no mother to +bring him milk, and no wife to grind him corn.' Oh, talk as we may +of beauty as a thing to be chiselled from marble, or wrought out on +canvas!... what is it but an intellectual abstraction, after all? The +heart feels a beauty of another kind. Looking through the outward +environment, it discovers a deeper and more real loveliness." + +Girls are so often afraid of the commonplace in people that they will +not marry unless some one, with a true or false claim to distinction, +offers himself. We have seen quite a company of girls charmed with +the "de" or the "von" attached to a man's name. Every foreign capital +can show its scores of American girls who have made themselves +ridiculous by giving up property, home, American ideas, and American +ways,--alas! by giving up much that stands for character,--for the sake +of marrying a "pendant to a moustache," said moustache belonging to a +worn-out title, and being in need of money to keep its ends waxed. Why, +girls, just think! a hundred thousand dollars for the privilege of being +called the wife of Monsieur le Comte de Rien, and of living, eventually, +in an attic on the outskirts of Paris! + +Why is it that if a young man has not certain points of distinction +in the way he combs his hair, wears his collar, or affects the English +gentleman, some of the girls hesitate about receiving his attentions? + +If they do finally accept his kindness, they feel obliged to excuse +his commonplace appearance, and exclaim to their friends apologetically, +"But, then, he is really good at heart, you know, and very agreeable!" +Oh, pride is a valuable characteristic sometimes, but is one of the +worst of evils when it tries to despise the ordinary. + +Do you not think we should all be happier, girls, if we took more time +to appreciate the commonplace? I have observed in the lives of great +naturalists, that not only the stone which all other builders had +rejected became the head of the corner in their temple of knowledge, +but that the most patient observation of simplest things was the +material out of which the edifice was made. Thoreau wanted to account +for the fact that when a pine grove is cut down an oak forest often +grows up; so he went, each year, to visit a pine lot in Concord. In +his earliest observations he could see nothing except pines; but, +burrowing around in the leaf-mould, he found, at last, tiny oaks an inch +or two high. Year after year he visited the grove; still he could +observe no special growth of the oaks. Finally the grove was cut down. +Up sprang the tiny oaks, and flourished in the light and sunshine now +freely admitted to them. Thick and tall, they grew into a very forest, +and the pines had never a chance to rise up and crowd them out. Do you +think the naturalist's search stopped then? Oh, no! He next found out +how the tiny oaks came among the pines; he inquired into the habits +of squirrels as planters, into the character of winds and birds as +farmers and bundle-boys; and was at length able to account for the +succession of our forest trees. + +The commonplace will never advance to meet us; but have faith in its +intrinsic merit, look for beauty, and you will find it. Could you +predict that from the plants lying in the stagnant pool such a perfect +flower as a lily would spring? If you were passing a low, thatched +cottage made of rough stone, its only pretence being a coat of +whitewash, would you guess it held a poet? And, if you were riding +along in a horse-car, interested only in the foreign-looking faces +and the remarkable clothes, would you be likely to know that a great +philanthropist sat beside you? No, not unless you had learned to observe +more wisely than most girls; and not unless you had found out the noble +worth of certain ordinary men and women whose faces are not pictured +in books, nor raised on medallions. + +How cautious we ought to be in forming our judgments! Have you never +made the mistake of replying carelessly to one whom you thought was +stupid, but whom you discovered to be a person of marked ability? The +older we grow, the more we are amazed at our lack of good sense in +framing an opinion of those whom we meet. We are so frequently surprised +at what persons do or become, we feel we can never be sure that any +one is common, or of the every-day sort. We almost believe Novalis +speaks the truth when he says, "We touch Heaven when we touch a human +body." Let us remember then, girls, not to trust our first impressions. +In forming our judgments let us be very sure our knowledge is sufficient +to tell which are the sheep and which are the goats, before we begin +to separate them. + +Just once more let me insist on the necessity of training the +observation for enjoyment of the commonplace. We call things stupid, +dronish, monotonous, because our faculties are not sufficiently +exercised to see any other qualities in them. Do you not suppose an +artist sees more in a birch swamp than we do? Is not even he likelier +to be successful in painting new wonders in the commonplace than in +trying to show objects we seldom see? + +Have you never noticed Albrecht Durer's drawing of Praying Hands? Look +at a photograph of it, please. Is it not wonderful? We cannot describe +all the feeling those hands suggest. If you had passed them on the +street, you would not have noticed them, unless to remark that they +were grimy, perhaps, or lean. The great German artist saw them folded +in prayer, and heard all the language of a despairing soul as it came +out in the expression of those hands,--wonderful hands, "instinct with +spirit." Look at them again, girls. + +We talked about commonplace duties when we spoke of work. Let me repeat +here that life is made up of commonplace deeds. We do not have great +national disturbances every day; and the surest proof that we have +greater need of common events rather than startling ones, ordinary +duties rather than extraordinary, is, that the moment we scorn an +ordinary occurrence, or omit a daily duty, we find ourselves and every +one else miserable, for a while, at least. We are stopping a part of +the machinery necessary to human happiness. Let us not despise the +lowliest duties. George Macdonald, the writer who has given strength +to the souls of so many people, was contented to write, "If I can put +one touch of a rosy sunset into the life of any man or woman, I shall +feel that I have worked with God." + +Do you begin to think, girls, I would have you always prosaic, plodding, +self-satisfied, unambitious? Oh, no! do not understand me so. Why, +I believe that even dreaming about doing, and seeing, and having things +is sometimes very helpful, and not at all inconsistent with the +commonplace. It is almost necessary for some people to build +air-castles. They get more real pleasure in them than they would from +real castles on the Rhine, the Danube, or along the rivers of sunny +France. Have you never read Curtis's "Prue and I"? + +Ah, how beautiful it is to be dreaming about a future, though it may +never come true!--to be floating on the sunset tide of Venice; to be +journeying over the passes of the Alps in summer, and always approaching +Mount Blanc; to be resting by the fountain in Alhambra's Court of Lions; +to be gazing at the Sistine Madonna in Dresden, or at the Ascension +in the Vatican; to be dosing in an orange grove in southern California; +to be awed by the deep canons of the Colorado, or to be filled with +the sublimity of the Yosemite! + +How glorious to be dreaming of what we will do when we are women with +wills and purses all our own!--with long rows of books in our libraries, +elegant pictures in our drawing-rooms, and oh! such beautiful boudoirs, +all, all of our own; or, at least, a room which shall be a _sanctum +sanctorum_, where the fire on the hearth never smoulders, and where +loving friends, beautiful mementos, and peaceful thoughts make us always +happy. How fine to fancy longings achieved, and present desires +gratified! + +All dreams, yes; but they do sometimes come out better than true. The +only thing wiser than dreaming is doing,--working in such a way as +to bring the distant near, and getting out of the veriest commonplaces +the joy we fancied lay only in the future, in other lands, or only +in dreams. + +Build castles and dwellings out of the commonplace, and you shall see +them shine with splendor, and glow with beauties which can never be +exhausted. She alone is rich who has estates in her soul. + + + + +VIII. + +MOODS. + + + +Blues, dumps, megrims, odd spells,--do they ever visit you? Drive them +out of doors; chase them down the yard, over the fence, up the tree, +till they go riding off on their own broomsticks, or vanish in thin +air! If ever they come tapping on your window-pane again, don't open +the casement; but turn your backs, stop up your ears, laugh as loud +as you can, then seize the first piece of work which waits to be done. +These demons are afraid of a laugh; and when they have the least +suspicion that a smile wreathes the lips of a mortal, they will slink +away and coil up in remote corners. They are equally alarmed by work, +because it puts an armor of steel all over their opponents. This coat of +mail is absolutely impenetrable, though blue imps should hurl their +arrows of torture forever. + +But, beware! Do not stop to think work and good cheer will put these +creatures to flight. Sing your song, laugh your laugh, and make work, +if none is at hand. Then only will these poor miserable prowlers shrivel +up and crawl under ground. + +What are gloomy moods good for? What are they not bad for? Why are +we always making excuse for entertaining such company? If we are ashamed +of them, let's send them packing, as we would any disreputable visitors, +such as cheats, biting dogs, or poisonous insects. + +How weak is our apology for enduring moods, when we blame some person, +long since dead, for handing down to us an inheritance of megrims! +We need not accept such a legacy, though of course we must fight very +hard to resist its allurements. It may be convenient enough to censure +inheritance for this or that oddity. Our grandmothers had strange +moods,--spoke to people on some days and did not speak on other +days,--so we have diligently doubled our bequest, and have spells odder +yet,--find our friends quite delightful for a week or more, and then as +distasteful for a still longer time. + +The patrimony of evil can be, and will be, shamefully increased with +every new generation, if good sense, sound principles, and a cheerful +heart do not constantly defend the right and strive to annihilate +inheritance. I am not going to discuss this matter of inheritance, +girls, for there is much in it not well for us to consider at present. +We are simply to remember to preserve and increase the good left us, +and fight to the utmost all evil that may have come from ancestry. +Every girl has peculiar forms of temptation; and what is hard for one +to resist is easy for another to repel, because to the latter it is +no temptation. If moods, grim moods, are worth any thing to us, they +are simply worth conquering,--merely valuable for the strength we get +from their defeat. + +Plainly, it is our selfishness, our indulgence, our idleness, our +vanity, which make us allow such wretched company within our walls. + +See what wily creatures the _blues_ are!--full of conceit! They +grow powerful while looking at us. They are like those little wood +creatures which can take the hue of the tree on which they rest, so +that for a long time we do not perceive them. They sit beside us by +hundreds when we fancy we are alone; and change their colors and their +wheedling tones to suit our inclinations, while they pour into our +ears deceitful whisperings that the world is all wrong, and we are +all right,--the vile flatterers! They paint all our surroundings with +dark colors, make all our pictures Mater Dolorosas or St. Sebastians, +turn all our music into requiems, and all our books into Stygian epics. + +I cannot think there is any thing much more destructive to human +happiness than the _blues_. I wonder how they ever came by their +name? It must have arisen from the weirdness of the tempest, from the +changing hues of the snake's skin and the lizard's back, from the blue +of sharp steel, from lighted brimstone, and from driving sleet. + +Now, girls, why do you, of all people in the world, allow yourselves +to be mastered by freaks? Do you not have troubles? Of course you +do,--real troubles, which are full of pain and discouragement. Your +feelings are so acute, you are so susceptible, I do not see why a sorrow +should not be deep with you. But with your vigor, your pure affection, +your generous impulses, with all the future before you in which to keep +on trying, I cannot understand why you should hug such a phantom as +a mood. Just think again how dangerous gloomy moods are,--how bold! +Why, with the least hint at an invitation, they will come in, not for +a call, nor for one meal, but to stay and stay,--the impudent creatures! +And such despoilers as they are while they remain! They eat you out +of house and home, they even take away your own appetite,--the harpies! +They make you cross,--yes, ugly. They bring frowns, tears, and age +into your faces, and they banish all loveliness to the ends of the +earth. Oh, do _not_ let them in! + +When you come home tired out, your energy all gone, your patience +exhausted, why,--rest. Do not think you are desolate, that everybody +has deserted you, and that fate, destiny, grim despair, are all after +you. You are tired and need to go to bed, or to engage in some light +talk which will rest you but at the same time occupy you. Read the +newspaper, build aircastles, hope with all the combined powers of your +fancy. If the clouds of misfortune pile up, and it pours bad +luck,--mother scolds because you did not sweep your room carefully; +father threatens because of an approach to familiarity with the new +young man over the way; brother frets because his stockings are not well +darned; lessons all went wrong in the morning; your best friend said a +careless word to you; you have broken the main-spring of your watch, and +spilt coffee on your new dress,--why, these are all trifles! I know a +good many bad trifles coming together are worse than a misfortune; but +the best way to prevent them from bringing on dejection is to let in +such a flood of light and determined cheerfulness as to drown out +despair. + +Mr. Emerson, in an essay on "Behavior," tells a capital story about +a man who was so bent on being cheerful he put to shame the torments +of hell itself. "It is related of the monk Basle, that, being +excommunicated by the Pope, he was, at his death, sent in charge of +an angel to find a fit place of suffering in hell; but, such was the +eloquence and good humor of the monk, that wherever he went he was +received gladly, and civilly treated, even by the most uncivil angels; +and, when he came to discourse with them, instead of contradicting +or forcing him, they took his part, and adopted his manners, and even +good angels came from far to see him, and take up their abode with +him. The angel that was sent to find a place of torment for him +attempted to remove him to a worse pit, but with no better success; for +such was the contented spirit of the monk, that he found something to +praise in every place and company, though in hell, and made a kind of +heaven of it. At last the escorting angel returned with his prisoner to +them that sent him, saying that no phlegethon could be found that would +burn him; for that, in whatever condition, Basle remained incorrigibly +Basle. The legend says his sentence was remitted, and he was allowed +to go into heaven, and was canonized as a saint." + +Do not give away one day to despair: better lose it in idleness. When +friends seem careless of you, when poverty encroaches, when suffering +ensues from wrongs others have done, when sickness or any kind of +calamity besets you, and when you are hunted to the verge of gloom, +cling to the ropes which hope suspends about you, and they will surely +pull you back from the abyss. These trials all have their uses. + +And, pray, be mindful of the way you look at things. Do not try to +see evil: have on your kind eyes, magnify every dot of goodness. "In +all things throughout the world, the men who, look for the crooked +will see the crooked, and the men who look for the straight will see +the straight." [Footnote: Ruskin.] Try especially to see what is good +in your own lot. If you have not fine carpets, luxurious chairs, fresh +bouquets every morning, remember you can better appreciate a cane- +seated rocker when you are tired, a well-swept floor which has a rug +or two, and a single flower purchased with well-earned money. + +As I suggested in the beginning, work is as sure a cure for dejection +as cheerfulness is. Why, I have seen one hour's solid labor eat up +all the blue tribe which had been hatching and hatching by millions. +Sometime will you read from Carlyle's "Past and Present" his chapters +on work, particularly that on "Labor and Reward"? Mr. Carlyle has +written much that is unintelligible to most readers. He has a very +grotesque, volcanic style not good to imitate. He is often sad and +hopeless about the human race, but he knew from hard experience what +work could do against despair. So, in spite of his ravings, +notwithstanding his eruptive style, and his sorrow for what is, he has +given us, in a masterly piece of prose, this noble "Gospel of Work." + +His sentences, alive with enthusiasm, and terrible in their seriousness, +contain great reaches of thought, poetry, prophecy, like that of the +ancients; and all are full of the praises and rewards of labor. +"Consider how, even in the meanest sorts of labor, the whole soul of +a man is composed into a kind of real harmony the instant he sets +himself to work! Doubt, Desire, Sorrow, Remorse, Indignation, Despair +itself, all these like hell-dogs lie beleaguering the soul of the poor +day-worker, as of every man; but he bends himself with free valor +against his task, and all these are stilled, all these shrink murmuring +far off into their caves. The man is now a man. The blessed glow of labor +in him, is it not as purifying fire, wherein all poison is burnt up, and +of sour smoke itself there is made bright, blessed flame!" "Doubt of any +kind can be ended by action alone." + +What makes us blame the weather so much for our moods, girls? The +day is gray everywhere,--in the skies, on the trees, in the air, on +the ground,--and gray in us therefore. Ah! but these gray colors are +beautiful, even in November and December. In their variety they are +soft and shimmering on the tree branches, a slightly ruddy gray on +the branchlets, and a serener gray on the tree trunks. Overhead, even +when a storm is gathering in the sky, there are the colors of the +moonstone tinting into silver, and shading into pearl and blue. On the +ground are delicate wood-colors,--umbers, siennas, greens toned down to +gray. The atmosphere, from its lack of sunlight, only sets off the more +visibly beautiful forms of trees and branches. + +No, the day is not moody: we are. We are not in harmony with her, but +have arrayed our-selves against her. "When we are at one with Nature +we have great peace; when fretted and unmindful of her presence, we +are irritated, and out of our true element." In our megrims we have +found something whose defenceless condition we think ought to bear +the burden of our misery. + +Well for you the weather affords a chance for an excuse; for a moody +girl on a bright June morning, when all Nature is radiant with beauty, +is the veriest parody on life,--worse than that, a sad mockery. + +If you are very sensitive, do not censure yourselves too severely, +nor foster distrust; for the latter is worse for you than self-conceit. + +Be sure to make the _blues_ as dangerous as possible; be always mindful +of their direful attacks. + +Some one asks me, just here, if she is never to feel serious? Of course +she is to have very thoughtful hours! The merely gay, happy-go-lucky +kind of a girl is not the most helpful, nor the most valuable. There +is very deep happiness sometimes in thoughtfulness,--do you not know +it? What makes you quiet when you row in and out of the shadow-filled +coves along the river-border, or when you drift among the islands purple +with sunset light? What makes you want to shut your eyes, and to throw +away the mask of seeming, when some one sings the song you love? and +what makes you feel a kind of dead, low, dreadful pause, when the +reader's voice ceases, and the story conies to an end? Are you moody? +No; only resting. Your being is suspended in thought,--thought so +serious yet so delicate, so subtle, you cannot weave it into words. +Sometimes, to be sure, a girl who is determined to be morbid will +distort such serene feelings into moodiness; but, then, these sudden +spells of dejection are only distantly related to the real blue urchins. + +Perhaps, girls, it will be better for you if you make up your minds +early in life that your lot will probably be about like that of the +average girl,--that trouble must come, and even a skeleton must hang +and gibber behind your door; but that, be the skeleton what it may, +you will nail the door back on the unsightly thing, clothe it in some +decent garments, and make it as respectable as possible in its niche, +since it must stay with you. Events, decrees, circumstances, will not +change for just you and me; but we can change ourselves, and so defeat +them. Do not mind untoward circumstances. "Seize hold of God's hand, +and look full in the face of His creation, and there is nothing He +will not enable you to achieve." A crust with contentment is better +than a pudding with the bitter sauce of discontent. + +Oh, I know, girls, it sounds very much like dull preaching. But, really, +do we enjoy moods? Do we have any respect for ourselves while in them? +Aren't we always trying to blame some one else? Shocking business, +hunting up scape-goats! + +Just see how you look when you have given place to these evils. You +respect beauty: you would resent any criticism on your personal +appearance at a party; but if one should truly describe how careless, +how unmindful of beauty in looks or beauty in disposition, how ugly +you are, when in this deplorably moody state, you would shun your very +self, and want to get out of your body somehow. You watch a girl who +has an attack of the megrims. She seems to hang from her shoulders, +or thereabouts; her nimbleness is gone; her muscles seem flabby; she +reels more than she walks; she picks up a book to let it fall down; +she will not look her neighbor in the face; the meaning has all gone +out of her eyes; her mouth is the only expressive feature; her lips +are either tightly pressed or curled in scorn; there is a don't-care +look all over her, and it lurks in the folds of her dress, in her +slouching hat, her unbuttoned coat, and in her shambling gait. + +Sometimes the picture is quite the reverse. The muscles seem tense +and powerful. The eye is set and firm, ferocious in fullness. The step +is quick and heavy. The strength is doubled, and every object has to +yield to the ugliness which attacks it. The form appears to gather +passion more and more with each hour, till, at last, full of violence, +the human frame sways, heaves, and the girl breaks her mood into a +flood of scalding tears. The contest is fierce while it lasts. It is +dreadful to see beauty put on such deformity, but let us be thankful +it is soon over. If the lightning does not strike anywhere, perhaps +all will be clearer after the storm. + +These violent squalls are not to be compared with those periods of +long, low mutterings, nor with those seasons of painful silence, hours +of uncertainty, which at times cloud so many girls. Why, the moods +of some persons are like yellow days, dark days, and judgment days. +A girl shuts herself up for an afternoon, for a day, for two days A +stone sepulchre is all about her, and she only reaches out of it when +she wants bread and water. She, herself, does not seem to be in her +body: she is a ghost. When we pass by her tomb-like body, perhaps a +head will nod to us, or lips will mutter monosyllables. If our dress +touches her garments we feel like begging pardon, A kind of horror +and at the same time a sort of pity invade us, yet we are paralyzed +and cannot help her. I hardly think the word is employed by +lexicographers with this meaning, and I apologize for using the +expression; but this kind of an odd spell is what I call _smudging_. + +It seems so strange that a girl can use her will so powerfully about +controlling others, and yet remain herself the dupe of an unkind mood. +To be sure, there are causes for ill-humor arising nearly every day,-- +ill-health, poverty, sorrow, cares that haunt and harrow, unaccomplished +desires, ungratified longings; but the indulgence of dejection, the +lack of resistance to a mood, only increase hardship. How is the doctor +to help your body, if you do not help your spirits? How are your +surroundings to be improved, if you do not go to work? How are you +to get work, if you do not seek it, and try with all your might to +find it? How is trouble to be lessened or endured, if from it we do +not reach to higher, nobler living? The way out of trouble is not +through despair. Hope unlocks the temple doors, Despair rusts the keys. +Each must know her own anxieties best; but the trials of all, we shall +sometime see, are but bitter on the outside, sweet and nourishing +within. Believe in the _sometime_. + + + + +IX. + +WOMANLINESS. + + +There is something in woman fascinating to woman herself, and something +in a girl irresistibly attractive to a girl herself. Mere words being +unsufficient to express the emotion caused by this charm, a girl makes +use of a large force of ejaculations, utters her indescribable "Oh's!" +and "Ah's!" in every variety of crescendo and diminuendo, and emphasizes +her pitch with gestures that point her meaning, till not the slightest +doubt exists that she has been impressed by something wonderful. She +does not know, indeed, just what it is that makes Sallie Henderson +so delightful; but "Oh, she is per-fect-ly lovely!--too sweet for any +thing!" Now I think the quality which so attracts is womanliness, the +most desirable of all the gifts a girl is permitted to cultivate. All +the littlenesses in the social customs of girls; all their raw, +untrained, ungenerous acts, their indulgences, their prejudices, are +the weak and despised signs of unwomanliness. + +Womanliness is not primness, let me be understood. The straight, smooth +hair, the folded hands, the demure face and exact deportment from ten +years of age to eighty, do not always indicate womanliness; nor does +the attempt to turn young girls into elderly women produce it. So many +patchwork quilts, so many hand-stitched shirt-bosoms, so many worsted +stockings, made before a girl is fourteen, are so many quilts, bosoms, +and stockings more than she will make when she is forty. Hours for +sewing, for helping in the home, for studying, are necessary to even +children, because industry, patience, application, and system must +be encouraged in earliest years; but the hours girls spend in the house +doing things neatly and in order, as their grandmothers did before +them, ought to be balanced by hearty exercise in the fresh air, by +seasons of mirth, and by freedom from restraint. The out-of-door +exercise, the gayety, the deliverance from tasks, are quite as necessary +for older girls as for younger ones. + +There is a value to be placed on the very trappings of girlhood which +do not in the least interfere with womanliness. At sixteen or eighteen, +perhaps at twenty, a girl can toss a jaunty little felt hat upon her +head, pin it in a twinkling above her wayward hair, tie on a bit of +blue or red somewhere about her blouse, tuck in her handkerchief in +a pardonable way, brush her short walking-skirt into becoming folds, +tie up her tennis shoes, and there she is in five minutes, prettier, +fresher, more becomingly dressed than all the older women of the +household, who have been standing before the mirror trying this effect +and that for the last hour. Ask a girl how she does it, how she manages +to make her hat bend down and up, and in and out, in all kinds of +alluring ways, and she does not know,--it belongs to girls to do such +things. Of course it does! Whatever they do must be bewilderingly +charming sometimes, because they are girls. You know, when we buy +choice roses from the gardener, we are always particular to select +those just approaching blossom. A delicacy, and yet a richness of color +and fragrance are upon them; a brightness and yet a tenderness in +tone,--the bloom is there more soft and beautiful than in the fully +opened rose. That bloom and color, that tenderness and dreamy softness, +that richness and freshness, are yours, dear girls. + +Yes, indeed! there is something charming in a girl simply because she +is a girl. It is in the ring of her laugh, in her irony, in her +frankness or her coyness, in the way she does the commonest things,-- +puts on her scarf, or catches hold of your arm,--things that only too +soon disappear in conventionalities, ceremonies, and proprieties. But +there is no need of this change as concerns much that is now called only +girlish. The womanly element is the main quality to be nourished into +greater perfection, but only the weakness of girlishness is to be +excluded from character. Girls are to grow wiser, and to avoid what must +bring harm, but still to keep the attractive freshness of maidenhood. +Some of the most delightful women we meet are those who can be girls +with girls, and women with women. The young do not lose their respect +for them because they appreciate them, nor do elders lessen their regard +for these women because they have kept the loveliness of girlhood. + +Girls, I am not trying to defend you: your girlhood needs no such +effort; but I do want to make you all feel that the very sweetness +of your natures, the loveliness of your lives and conduct, your +attractive grace, which ought to strengthen with years and become +something more than beautiful,--become divine,--is womanliness. + +God did not make all the girls beautiful, strong, or intellectual; +but He did make them all capable of becoming womanly. You may well +doubt this ability the next time you see an intelligent and pretty +girl avoid the glance of a former friend who is now miserable and weak; +and you may question its very existence in the wretched and outcast +one. Ah! but who can judge, or even know, the inner life of one's past +acquaintances? It is not for you, nor for me, to slight, to scorn, +to condemn the fallen. Of this we are sure,--that no beauty, no +intelligence, can compare with womanliness; and that no girl, weak +and wicked as she may be, is utterly lost to a return to womanliness. +May I here appeal to you, dear girls, to hasten this return? May I +urge you not to slight even the sinful? As you are girls with most +precious endowments, remember to encourage the growth of these gifts +in other girls. Then will womanhood seem even more blessed than now,-- +when girls defend it and purify it. A girl may have all the privileges +that a boy has; a woman, all the rights that a man now has in +excess,--pray, do not let us stand in the way of such favors!--but +the fact remains that "woman is not undeveloped man, but diverse"; +and the one thing she owes to the world, to herself, to her Maker, +is a reverence for her own sex. Girls, I repeat, you cannot sufficiently +realize your obligations to your own kind. Because you are girls and +not boys, women and not men, oh, try to be loyal to girls and women! +Pay homage to womanhood; adorn it, place sacrifices upon its altars, +rejoice in unceasing service to it, exalt it by every worthy endeavor! + +This reverence for woman is the first and truest step towards +womanliness. When this has not been taken, and a girl is therefore +unkind to her social inferiors out of fear of what rumor will say,--"the +fume of little hearts,"--I blush for an indecent girlhood, and I grieve +for an unpromising, unchristian womanhood. We know that encouragement, +not intimacy, the gentle rebuke of a bow or a greeting, are more helpful +to arouse the sparks of womanliness than the cold stare or averted +head. Next to the respect of woman for woman, comes the regard of woman +for man,--a deference (when physical, mental, or spiritual strength +in man demand) that is due from her who, constituted differently, has +greater power to pay respect and gratitude, to honor and love. +Gentlemanly boys and men have a right to expect you to be refined, +courteous, agreeable towards them in all the ways of ladyhood,--not that +they are your superiors, but your helpers: made after a different +pattern, but still your sincere friends. + +The womanly in girls implies the lady, no doubt, more than the manly +in man indicates the gentleman. We ought always to find in girls that +gentleness and delicacy of manner, that minute attention to the comforts +of others, that visible respect towards others, so agreeable and so +refining in all circles. Marguerite de Valois wrote, "Gentleness, +cheerfulness, and urbanity are the Three Graces of manners." I believe +they bear a close relation to ladylike deportment. + +All can acquire these habits of politeness and attention to others, +though they come not with ease to those of us whom unfavorable +surroundings continually influence. A woman in an almshouse, a girl +serving a ship's crew, can be a lady and not cost her masters more, +though her efforts cost her much. + +But, valuing all that constitutes a lady, believing that these gentle +graces are necessary to every girl, I believe the ladylike is but a +part of true womanliness,--that infinitely precious, indescribable +something in woman that makes her royal by birth, queen of herself, +and fit to occupy the throne that is placed beside the king's throne,-- +not higher, not lower, but beside it; not his, but like his; her own, +from which, with equal though with differing eye, she looks in blessing +on the world. + +Oh, how, girls, shall we get this womanliness into our characters, +or, rather, how shall we make it shine out of them? If we stop to think +once in a while what it is, if we remember that it is unassuming as +it is beautiful, and only waits for our acquaintance, we shall the +sooner embrace it. And then, if we are reminded that it does not despise +common things, lowly homes, simple pleasures, any more than it does +benevolent acts, patient lives, and ordinary toils, we shall oftener +be found cherishing it. Let us remember that womanliness is in our +elders,--women like Susan Winstanley, of whom "Elia" tells in "Modern +Gallantry." You know she was cold toward her lover, and when asked +why, she replied she was perfectly willing to receive his compliments +and devotion, as was her right; but that, just before he came to pay +his regards, she had overheard him roughly rating a young woman who +had not been quite prompt with his cravats, and she thought what a +simple change of place might have caused, and said, "I was determined +not to accept any fine speeches to the compromise of that sex the +belonging to which was, after all, my strongest claim and title to +them." + +Let us remember that womanliness is in all the motherliness we see +in our mothers; that it is in all the sacrifices and noble deeds of +silent women, as well as in those of celebrated women, like Elizabeth +Fry or Mrs. Browning; that it is in the acts of all those who make +the ordinary home "like the shadow of a rock in a weary land," and +a "light as of a Pharos in the stormy sea." If we are impressed with +the remembrance that womanliness is in such and such characters, we +shall try harder to imitate them; we shall be more thankful we are +women, and more grateful that it belongs to us especially to impart +what man lacks, and what he must depend on us to supply. + +Here, again, I want to emphasize the fact that womanliness does not +require a girl to abandon merriment, vigorous exercise of the body, +or brain, or heart, freedom in sports, and "a jolly good time." But +let us have every thing in its place. Kid-gloved hands in a huckleberry +pasture, or on a row-boat, would be as unbecoming to a girl, you will +agree, as a soiled collar in the school-room, or a dusty jacket in +church. We do not object to boys sitting astride a fence: it is rather +manly than otherwise, if they do not concoct a plan to tear their +clothes; but it does seem a bit out of the womanly way for a girl. +To be sure, there is not much difference between climbing fences and +many of the gymnastic performances for girls; but time and place must +be regarded. I should not frown if I heard a girl whistling, under +two conditions,--she must be a good whistler, and confine her musical +exercise to the woods. I think it is fine to see a girl go over a fence +without sticking between the bars, and it really is too bad to have +to be pulled through by an "I told you so!" It is fine to see a girl +play ball or tennis; to see her row or ride, or climb a tree when there +is need. But all this climbing, and striding, and shouting, womanly +enough at times, become most unwomanly under certain circumstances, +especially in the home. + +Such indications go far to pronounce us loose in manner, immodest in +deportment, coarse and vulgar, where we are not understood. No girl +can afford to wilfully bring upon herself the criticism of bad manners. +She can afford to do right when she feels the world is wrong; but she +is accountable for her example, and the influence she exerts upon those +not as strong as she is. Beyond this lies the fact that womanliness +is opposed to mannishness, and that unwomanliness grows faster than +its virtuous opposite. "Ill weeds grow apace," says a German proverb. +One plantain in a garden will eat out not only the flowers in the plats, +but the very grass in the borders. Any thing that takes away from +modesty, refinement, gentleness, takes away from womanliness. Says +Beaconsfield, "The girl of the period,--she sets up to be natural, and +is only rude; mistakes insolence for innocence; says every thing that +comes first to her lips, and thinks she is gay when she is only giddy." + +I sometimes think, girls, it is the motherliness in some of you that +often makes you womanly; not altogether the quality that makes little +folks hug their dolls,--not altogether that,--though, in their gentle +cares, their tender caresses and assumed anxieties, they are little +women in themselves; but I mean, too, the motherliness that makes girls +careful of others. It is an all-sheltering fondness; it is a delicate +superintendence over the comforts of another; it is a brooding thought +about the nestlings of one's heart, hearth, or associations; it is +a cultivated instinct that smooths out difficulties, and steps right +along beside purity and loveliness. + +This characteristic of womanliness is not that weak, unsubstantial +quality which we sometimes associate with effeminacy. + +I would not imply that womanliness does not exist in those women whom +superior talents have raised above the average man. A great lecturer, +after holding her audience long by her eloquent appeals for reforms, +stepped down into the crowd slowly departing, and earnestly inquired +after this sick friend, that poor one, and the prosperity of another. +The marvel of her womanliness was even more striking than the power +of her oratory. + +As I said at first, girls, girlishness, while inferior to womanliness, +is no hindrance to it. It is most proper for girls to discuss tucks +and ruffles, gloves and boots, bangs and twists. They think about these +things properly enough, too, or they would not make such good use of +them. They are in no danger of becoming less worthy women, provided +they do not exclude thoughts on higher things. But girlishness, +construed to mean just a love of dress and finery, does not make +womanliness. If it did, every well-clothed girl on the street would be +virtuous. I confess, however, that it would require a good deal of +persuasion to make me believe that untidy skirts, buttons clinging by a +thread, or utter inattention to style, to neatness and wholeness, were +traits in a womanly woman. + +We are told that true manliness and true womanliness are one and the +same. At some points, these qualities meet and mingle. In the strongest +parts of character, men and women are the same. In trying moments, +in hours of great interest, in times of rare experience, men and women +do the same work in the same way, and then the high quality which +ennobles their characters is human kindness. It is well that great +artists have painted the face of Christ so that it is as womanly as it +is manly. It is a beautiful way some persons have of thinking of God as +father and mother too. + +But with all these resemblances of manliness to womanliness, there +is a difference which all may recognize if they will. Allow a boy to +stretch out his legs, climb spouts, jump gutters,--he is still perfectly +manly; but a girl cannot do these things in a community without censure, +unless necessity requires. I know that the custom which demands +different decorum for a girl is arbitrary, and not of divine origin. To +go unveiled is not allowed in some countries. But conformity is surely +enjoined upon us; and that, so far as it is reasonably observed, is +a really womanly trait. I cannot help thinking that girls are made +of finer material than boys, but of stuff that will wear just as well +as the stockier goods in boys. Inasmuch as a girl has more confided +to her keeping than a boy has, she ought to be so much the more +watchful. A girl ought to guard purity, modesty, patience, hope, trust, +because she has had these things given her in large measure. + +What can there be more beautiful than womanliness! The next time you +see the Sistine Madonna, look behind all the mother in the lovely face +for the woman in it. Then see if you do not remark the same in Raphael's +St. Cecilia, and in the Venus de Milo, Wherever masters have succeeded +in painting the Virgin, notice, aside from the holy look,--if any thing +can be aside from that,--the womanly look. What is it which makes us +love some women's faces the moment we see them? Sometimes it is because +the loveliness of their character beautifies most ordinary features. +Sometimes it is because we expect them to do some very womanly deed,--to +heal us of diseases, to right wrongs, to defend causes, to uplift the +fallen. Girls are not all weak and uncertain, because they are girls. +No; they are strong and brave, and reliable in danger. The boiler of +a steam-yacht exploded; several girls were on board; the crew were +busy saving themselves; the girls, with an electric shock of +mother-care, jumped to save one another. They neither fainted nor +screamed, with one exception, which was a somewhat feeble serving-girl, +who was stoutly shaken and told to faint if she dared. + +Perhaps you think that refinement and good education produce greater +womanliness than ignorance and low surroundings. So they do; but the +worst of circumstances, as we have already shown, cannot crush it. +There is much to be feared from over-refinement, or, rather, superficial +cultivation, which breeds selfishness, vitiates strength, encourages +false pride, enervates the whole life of a girl. Look at the girl half +clad, sleeping in the lazy sun that falls across her narrow doorway, +droning out life; now and then, in an hour of wakefulness, muttering +some coarse word. And then regard the over-cultured, the wrongly-bred +girl; the peevish, dictatorial, selfish, haughty miss of a certain +other door-way,--a parlor-way. The womanliness in both would not amount +to so much as is in one bright gleam from the eye of an Evangeline. + +We cannot tell so much what womanliness _is_ in girls as what it _does_. +It lies mostly in the little acts they perform,--those things which are +so often done that we neglect to speak of their worth, and yet should +feel most sad without them. The humblest deeds, the oft-repeated ones, +form the beauty of characters and faces. They put beautiful lights into +girls' eyes, softness into their cheeks, and winsomeness into the whole +face. Then, too, deference to the feelings and notions of others has +much to do with the sweetness of womanhood. It cannot be wrong to read a +letter on the street, to shout to one's friend on the opposite side of +the way, to whistle to a horse-car driver; but, so long as these offend +preconceived notions of good manners, deference to the opinions of +others should forbid such habits. + +Now let us see, just once more, what we mean by a womanly girl. Exact +attention to points of etiquette, gracefulness, accomplishments, proper +subservience to the will of others, do not of themselves make +womanliness; many more than these characteristics, and greater, are +needful. First of all, a girl must feel she is a woman, with a heart +to cultivate in its affections, restrain in its desires, curb in its +selfishness; with a mind to enrich by such means as shall promote its +best peculiarities, and supply its needs; with a soul to enlarge into +more generous impulses, and into the performance of more worthy deeds. +Such a girl looks practically, but at the same time cheerfully, on +life. She is willing to make the best and most of her lot, and, though +out of patience with it sometimes, is not always battling against +circumstances. + +Discontent, to be sure, is as unmanly as it is unwomanly; but I fear +it is an ill more widely spread among girls than among boys. It is +an evil seed, and brings forth nothing but choking weeds and noxious +plants. No position, nothing that a girl can do, harms her, provided +she be womanly; therefore, choice of position cannot help, unless she +is sure she has power to do better in another place. Some servants +are more womanly than the women who employ them. We are all servants +to one another: each holds the mastery. Surely we must be novices before +we can be superiors. In one sense, servitude is an ornament; for +politeness is but a visible sign, of glad service. Surely, politeness is +a real property of womanliness. + +A truly womanly girl is genuine in what she says and does. Avoiding +the bombast, the occasional coarseness of rougher natures, the self- +esteem, and the dictatorial manner, she yet says no, when she means +no. If that causes hurt, she is not slow to express her sympathy and +show her sorrow. She does not do things for effect, nor to arouse unjust +indignation. + +If we were to study the points of character that have made women +celebrated, we should find them within the power of any earnest girl +to obtain through great strength of womanhood. I mean those women who +have been the bravest, truest, tenderest, most loved by the world. +Philippa pleading with bended knee before Edward III. to spare the +lives of the men of Calais, Catherine urging her suit before Henry +VIII., Madame de Stael supplicating Bonaparte for her father's liberty, +Marie Antoinette ascending the steps of the scaffold, are but few of +the women of history who furnish us examples of highest womanhood. +Literature supplies as great illustrations: Antigone going to bury +her brother's ashes in spite of the king's threat to take her life; +Zenobia in chains in the midst of a great Roman triumph,--a woman still, +with firm though downcast eyes; Rebecca, in "Ivanhoe," standing on +the tower ready to give the fatal spring the moment Bois Guilbert should +approach with dishonorable purpose,--all furnish vivid pictures of +what strength of womanliness can accomplish. Simple traits caused their +noblest actions,--love, sympathy, tenderness, purity, bravery, +resolution, endurance; but these qualities, grown almost to their +utmost, make these women dear to us. It was not intellect, it was not +pride, it was not position; but it was the womanhood perfected in them +that enabled them to do their work, and enables us to love and follow +them. + +We are under the strongest obligations, girls, to our sex, ourselves, +and the world. + + + + +X. + +GIRLS AND THEIR FRIENDS. + + +My dear girls, do not fancy that I am going to preach on friendship: +so wide a theme is beyond the scope of these little talks with you. +I simply wish to express a few old-fashioned opinions about girls and +their friends. + +Though now and then I may seem to be talking about that which is less +than friendship, or that which means more, please understand I fully +recognize the fact that, though acquaintance, friendship, love, often +merge into one another by advancing steps of familiarity, they are +really three distinct qualities.--One's acquaintances are many, one's +friends comparatively few, one's lovers fewer yet,--or they ought to +be. Do you know, girls, you do suggest the most delightful subjects +for a talk! There is no such thing as resisting your attractive traits! +But I am going to say a few very plain things about what may not be +charming in you. + +Girls feel very quickly. They are not in the least slow to comprehend +with the heart; in fact, it often seems as though that organ were +constructed with as much delicacy as is the Aeolian harp, which quivers +and utters sounds when the air just stirs about it. The most of you +are very emotional; and that quality of emotion, when it is pure, is +your blessing, and a part of the womanhood in you: it is the necessary +expression of your soul. I know the word emotional has not a pleasant +sound, and, in common use, implies lack of reason and want of control; +but it is a good word, and what it truly means is good. Feeling, or +the product of feeling, which is emotion, does for us what reason cannot +do,--it frequently causes faith where reason would destroy it. Do not +boast you are not emotional, and have no care nor sympathy for fine +sentiment; for this boasting is not laudable in a woman. The girl who +reasons more than she feels will make a calm philosopher, but a very +poor friend. + +Though we are not to speak so much about God's highest gift to us,-- +the power of loving,--I would like to show you just what feeling is +capable of doing. You know most girls have an affection for somebody +or something, and if that love is not bestowed on a friend, it will +be on a cause, an ambition, an absorbing desire. Hypatia, Joan of Arc, +Charlotte Corday, Florence Nightingale, Harriet Hosmer, Rosa Bonheur, +Mrs. Siddons, represent as much love for the causes they lived or live +for as did Vittoria Colonna for her husband, Hester and Vanessa for +Swift, Heloise for Abelard, Marguerite for Faust, Ophelia for Hamlet, +Desdemona for Othello, or Juliet for Romeo. These last, I repeat, were +bound in the cause of love not less than the former; and they all owed +their endeavors--their success, if they gained it--to the feelings +and emotions of their natures. + +But the trouble is, girls, you do lack judgment in the management of +your feelings. It has been suggested by an able philosopher that persons +differ from one another principally in the amount of judgment they +possess. Really, you do not always bestow your friendship worthily, +but too often let your emotions master instead of guide you; then your +eyes become blind to every thing that is best for yourselves and your +friends: you get selfish, passionate, and demoralized. + +Hold the reins of feeling in obedience to what is good and right, no +matter what the suffering is which follows. Do you remember how Irma +loved the king in that grand struggle for character which Auerbach +paints "On the Heights," where the full, rich nature of Irma, so capable +of loving, so prone to err, yearns for the fulfilment of her longing, +yet will not yield an inch of conscience when once she knows it is +wrong for her to love? You know she dies struggling, but it is on the +heights, where, Goethe tells us, "lies repose." There are many and +many women martyrs who go to their graves unknown, suffering no pangs +of the Inquisition, the gallows, or the guillotine, but tortured by +unrequited affections,--by a love which it was not possible to gratify +without a loss of principle or a sacrifice of conscience. Is it not +better to break one's heart than to break one's soul? + +My dear girls,--I would not say it were I not obliged to do so,--you +seem the least conscientious in making friends, rarely thinking how +grave and yet how sweet a joy a friendship is. In the first place, +you seize upon a friendship as though it were something to be worn +already made, like a new bonnet which pleases you. No matter what the +girl is, she suits your present whims; so your swear an eternal +friendship with her, when you do not begin to realize that real +friendship depends upon time and growth,--that it consists largely in a +mutual finding out of two persons. + +Then, again, you frequently choose friends for some material advantage +to yourselves. Do you think you ought to do that? You see something +in a girl which you believe will promote your interests: perhaps she +is in society a good deal; maybe she is very bright and sharp at +repartee; possibly she is stylish, and absorbed in dress; perhaps her +father has money, or she has an eligible brother,--at any rate, she can +advance your purposes in one way or another, so you presume to make her +your friend. Now you know you ought to value friendship for just its +sake alone. If you are to make a friend, do so because you cannot +honestly help it, and no strong reason exists why you should help it. + +Naturally, like chooses like: some point of beauty, some mark of +excellence, some trait of character, will draw us to another, because +these things exist in ourselves, though undeveloped, or because we +wish them to so exist; so friendship will spring up and flourish till +it ripens into love. This is the best and most loyal way of making +friends; and, if this be called choice, indulge in it, though not from +any material profit you are to get, but simply because you are fond +of one who is worthy of the best you can give her. + +Then you will see that, if a girl and her traits were lovable when +she and you were school-mates, they deserve to be loved still: then +a year after graduation you will know the girl when you meet her on +the street, and recognize her as you did in school. Girls and boys +do not change so completely after leaving school. Eleanor, though in +plain clothes washing up the kitchen-floor, is Eleanor still; and Frank, +though only patching fences, is still Frank. Changes in circumstances +and in ourselves sometimes prevent the keeping of a friend, and we +no longer find friendship in the places where we used to seek for it; +but inconstancy in ourselves is a greater enemy to the holding of a +friendship than any external circumstance. + +One great reason why certain girls of good parts remain in the same +position in which their ancestors had lived--struggling with poverty, +with bad tempers, with an indifferent lot, and wrestling with a savage +discontent--is because they are not encouraged to any thing better +when they get out of school. The free institutions of learning in the +United States begin a noble work of co-education and co-friendship; +but, when these are passed, there remains nothing to continue the work. +A black pall falls between the past and the future, and strives to +cover the very memory of bygone school years. Money, influence, +position, make havoc, striving in the freest land to set up classes and +aristocracies separated from what is common by impassable barriers,--as +though there were any other aristocracy than that of character and +personal worth! + +Ought girls to have intimate friends? How carelessly we use that word +"intimate." Well, this is a very trying question, and needs a careful +answer. Says Mr. Alger, "School-girl friendships are a proverb in all +mouths. They form one of the largest classes of those human attachments +whose idealizing power and sympathetic interfusions glorify the world, +and sweeten existence. With what quick trust and ardor, what eager +relish, these susceptible creatures, before whom heavenly illusions +float, surrender themselves to each other, taste all the raptures of +confidential conversation, lift veil after veil, till every secret +is bare, and, hand in hand, with glowing feet, tread the paths of +Paradise!" But what do you mean by "intimate"? If you understand by +that word entire confidence in another under all circumstances; an +unbosoming of every thought and feeling; a complete surrender to your +friend, or mastery over her; a slavish adoration of her, and hearty +concordance in all she does,--do not, then, indulge in an intimate +friendship. The majority of women who have passed middle life will +utter, out of their own experience, the truth that such confidence, +such intercourse and familiarity, cause regret; and that such +friendships are seriously detrimental to human happiness, wearing the +mind, grieving the spirit; they cannot continue for many years. Our +elders go even beyond that, and say that woman cannot love woman as +woman can love man. Why is it that the friendships of boys usually last +longer than those of girls? I cannot believe it is because girls are +less constant or less friendly: I know they _are_ not. Can it be because +boys are less sensitive, and more sufficient for themselves? or is it +because they are less intense, less confidential, and move along more +slowly and suspiciously? Does it ever come from peculiarity of +temperament in the case of both boys and girls, there being girl-boys +and boy-girls? I am inclined to think that, because a boy is a boy, and +a girl is a girl, the characteristics of both are required to make a +perfect friendship. Of course there are broad exceptions to this +opinion. + +Can you have more than one intimate friend among the girls? That +depends, too, on the nature and degree of closeness in the friendship. +It requires a large amount of generosity on the part of several when +two persons are close friends of a third. That blissful "_solitude +a deux_" becomes misery _a trois_. The world is indeed beautiful, and +the best part of it all is the people in it. We are to love as many of +them as we can, but are called upon to reveal our inmost selves to few, +very few, friends. + +Valuing friendship more than any other earthly blessing, I think it +wrong for girls to encourage that moodiness which flatters them they +can do without friends, especially of their own sex. Nothing can conduce +more to happiness: nothing is brighter, more charming, more helpful +than the interchange of friendship among young women. Who wouldn't +be a girl always if she could be sure all the other girls would stay +so too, and go on in that delightful exchange of affection and fine +feeling which is the very ecstacy of living? + +Now, what does a girl prize most in another girl whose friendship she +enjoys? or, rather, what should she value in her most? In the first +place, constancy,--a knowledge that her friend will always be hers; +and then honesty,--a feeling that, if she says, "Now, don't you tell," +the friend won't tell. By the way, this binding to secrecy is a very +bad practice, however delightful. It places too great a responsibility +on one's friend, leads her into temptation, makes her curious, and, +in nine times out of ten, one has no right to tell one's self, or one +would not be so cautious. + +Honesty implies more than this, however: it demands that your friend +shall not herald abroad your mistakes or improprieties, though she +may disapprove of them. It means that she shall treat you with the +same kindness on all occasions, and that she shall resent wrong done +you by another. + +You like a girl who does not criticise unjustly, nor gossip about her +friends. Marcus Aurelius, in his meditations, says, "A man must learn +a great deal to enable him to pass a correct judgment on another man's +acts." And Arthur Helps, in his essay, "On the Art of Living with +Others," exclaims, "If you would be loved as a companion, avoid +unnecessary criticism upon those with whom you live." Gossip is a most +dangerous kind of criticism. + +You prize a girl, too, who can like you even when she is not fond of +your surroundings. An honest friendship does away with all jealousy, +and makes each proud of the other's acquirements. "I must feel pride +in my friend's accomplishments as if they were mine, and a property +in his virtue." [Footnote: Emerson.] + +Girls are not sufficiently inclined to help girls. Think of the shadows +which cross your path which some dear girl's hand could chase away. +You would not drive the bird from your window-sill when he daily comes +for crumbs, nor let a kitten stand mewing in the cold. Do not withhold +the charity of your friendship from the hungry, dreary girl who waits. +When the helping hands and generous hearts of such benefactors as every +city knows,--women whose names are familiar to us as synonyms of +charity, wisdom, rightness, but whose names we here repress because +publicity would detract from the modesty of their conduct,--when such +women stretch out hands of benefaction to their poor, ignorant, wicked +sisters in our great towns, sparing something from their purses, from +their minds, from their comforts, we wonder what must be the gift of +their friendship to their more immediate friends. Here and there we meet +humbler women, girls of fair intelligence and generous hearts, who +give of their leisure, when they have no money, to help all objects +of moral or spiritual wealth to woman. What must their friendship be +to their friends! Something of immense value. Would there were more +such engaged in a like work for the spreading of this broad friendship +among women as women. + +When a girl finds something of friendliness to give, the objects of +her favor find much to receive. A blessing increases most rapidly while +passing from possessor to recipient. The highest endowments should +not, and do not, shut out a real need of reciprocal friendship in the +hearts of girls. The larger your natures are, the greater will be your +demand for friends. Do not be afraid you have not the talent of being +friendly, even to the most gifted. A woman's greatest need, if she +will confess it, is large-hearted sympathy,--is friendship. That one +who withholds it, who seeks not friends, is fighting against herself, +is lonely and dreary, notwithstanding the fact that she has great +capabilities; for one of the most essential elements of her nature +is being starved. The mightiest cannot stand alone. Mme. Swetchine, +Marian Evans, Mme. De Stael felt, even more than most women, the +absolute need of a friend. I can imagine nothing drearier than to be so +far superior, in mind or in position, to one's associates as to feel no +friendship for them. Milton, sitting with his daughters, yet not +comprehended, is to me one of the saddest pictures of a great mental +endowment and an unsatisfied heart. Would not Elizabeth have given +years of her life and reign for the possession of one true friend? +It is an extremely rare thing to hear of a woman hermit, or recluse. +Girls give themselves up to nunneries, and believe they shut out the +world; but they are either seeking the friendship of a cause supremely, +or are hugging the closer an earthly, though a disappointed, love. + +It is not weak, as Grace Aguilar suggests, for women to love women, +girls to love girls. "It is the fashion to deride female friendship, +to look with scorn on those who profess it. There is always, to me, +a doubt of the warmth, the strength, and purity of her feelings, when +a girl merges into womanhood, looking down on female friendship as +romance and folly." + +It makes no difference who you are, girls, you need friends among all +classes and ages of persons. Sometimes it is the little child who can +give friendship best; sometimes it is the woman bowed with years; often +it is she whose years, surpassing yours by ten or twelve, have brought +her into the midst of that experience on which you are just entering. +Surely you must always need the sweet exchange of feeling which takes +place between girls and girls. + +We remark the countless friends we have in Nature; but beautiful, +ennobling and comforting as the trees, the streams, and long green +meadows are, you cannot afford to give up flesh and blood friends for +them. Nature can improve you, but you cannot help her; but the true +value of friendship is the mutual benefit to be derived from it. + +In the highest sense, this benefit relates not only to the heart, but +to the mind and soul. It is indeed possible for the ignorant, the +unambitious, the unrefined to be firm friends. We hear of true and +lasting friendships existing in peasant life. The rough, barren +mountain-ways of the Scotch Highlands, the coast villages of France, +the vinelands of Germany, the low flats of Holland, the desert of +Africa, the vast plains of America, have furnished the most pathetic +examples of sincere friendship, even though found among the most +uncivilized. Surely, when refinement is added, the blessing should +increase and not diminish, as it so often seems to do. The wigwam of the +Indian is a truer protection for friendship than the gilded walls of +many a drawing-room. + +Oh, girls, this is what hurts and soils your characters,--this drawing- +room insincerity, this falseness, this seeming! You can be polite and +honest too; agreeable, and faithful as well. Significant glances, unfair +advantages, uncivil pretensions in the parlor, make you not only +insincere, but suspicious that you, also, are being ogled and scanned +by others. Girls have contributed to make society false when they might +have made it true. That society is insincere to you you will hardly +deny, if poverty, sickness, or any misfortune thrust you from it. But +society we must have. Why not, then, do your part to make it nobler, +friendlier, truer? Much depends on the effort every girl makes to +improve the social condition of the community. + +Though you are so often indiscreet, fickle, ungenerous in your +friendships, girls, I believe in them. When I see a party of you come +together, so glad to be with one another again, giving and taking, +after the most lavish fashion, I want to say, "Yes, indeed!" to Mr. +Alger's remarks about school-girls; though I would leave off the word +school, and make his expressions apply to girls everywhere. "Probably +no chapter of sentiment in modern fashionable life is so intense and +rich as that which comes to the experience of budding maidens at school. +In their mental caresses, spiritual nuptials, their thoughts kiss each, +other, and more than all the blessedness the world will ever give them +is foreshadowed." + +To sustain this friendship, I repeat, there are very necessary demands +upon your patience, your charity, and your constancy. "The only way +to have a friend is to be one," issues from the oracular lips of the +Concord seer. "Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them, or +bear with them," is an appeal which has been handed down the ages from +the wisdom of that great "seeker after God," Marcus Aurelius. + +Next to constancy in our fondness for others should come forbearance +and conformity. We ought to forbear inflicting the discomfort of our +peculiarities on our friends, or of requiring too much love for what +we give,--too much intelligence to meet our mental acquirements. We +should forbear asking for a change of opinion, or an unsettling of +conviction, and certainly should refrain from making a bad use of our +intimacy with one another. Be deaf and dumb and blind to all attempts +to draw from you the secrets which another has committed to your charge. +Conformity is no less important than forbearance. We should adapt +ourselves more to the tastes, habits, and dispositions of our friends. +Of course, we are not to comply with what will work them and us harm. +Girls agree to certain customs in the main; dress as their mates do; +and, if this or that fashion prevails, follow it, when it is not too +ridiculous,--perhaps some do even when it is absurd. When the majority +of girls wear bangs and bangles, you wear them; and when the most wear +skirts somewhat less than two yards around, why, I suppose you do, +don't you? That is all right; but let it never be forgotten that, in +conforming to general usage, you may still preserve your own +personality. When bustles and French heels jostle with your +individuality, let them go, but save yourselves. + +How is it we so easily follow after fashion and custom, suffer physical +and mental pangs on account of them, and yet find it so hard to conform +with the notions and individual traits of our friends? Just here, +however, we are reminded that we are not to so agree with our friends, +even, as to lose ourselves. Says Arthur Helps on this point, "If it +were not for some singular people who persist in thinking for +themselves, in seeing for themselves, and in being comfortable, we +should all collapse into a hideous uniformity.... In all things, a man +must beware of so conforming himself as to crush his nature, and forego +the purpose of his being." And Emerson might have added to that thought, +"Better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo." + +Conformity enjoins compromise. Fewer would be the great national +calamities of war, famine, hard times; fewer the domestic trials; fewer +the broken hearts, were there more of compromise in the world,--were +there less cultivation and indulgence of certain national or personal +peculiarities. + +Girls ought never to be so familiar with one another as to forget to +be polite in their intercourse. Courtesy, the last best gift of +chivalry, the one bright star of the Middle Ages, leads out a long array +of thoughts; but we cannot stop to marshal them here. Politeness is +never superfluous. It needs to become so much a part of the costume of +character as never to be laid aside except for renewal. Surely we should +show its brightest ornaments, and the durability of its fabric, to +our friends and acquaintances. + +Let us seek friends, not wait for them to come to us. Let us search +for them, not with boldness and indiscrimination, but with a hearty +good-will to help them and enjoy them, as we, in return, expect them +to do us good, and be glad of us. It is a duty on our part to seek +and to keep friends, and no occupation should be so absolutely +engrossing as to prevent the performance of this duty. + + + + +XI. + +YOUTHS AND MAIDENS. + + +I have discovered an incompleteness, girls, in my talk with you about +your friends, and I feel very depressing qualms of conscience on account +of my discovery. Why, I haven't said one word about the friendships +of boys and girls. Do pardon me! There really is an excuse. The fact +is,--shall I speak it right out loud? No, it might be too dreadful. +Come close, girls, and I will whisper it in your ears,--I am an old +maid! Isn't that deplorable? I have lost one-half the pleasure there +is in friendship, and, perhaps, you think, all there is in love. Yes, +'tis true: I am one of the superfluous sixty thousand women who are +usurping the population in a small state. I had better go to the far +West, and settle in the gold diggings, hadn't I? + +So, girls, you do not suppose that, in a condition of such positive +ignorance, I am able to talk with you about the boys? Well, I will +be very discreet, and only suppose, gently suppose, that such a thing +as friendship exists among boys and girls. But if I should venture +on the subject of marriage, which, I am told, often ensues from +something akin to friendship, you will please pardon me, and remember +that, if I am too old to be talking about it, you are too young to be +listening. + +In such a peculiar civilization as ours, you cannot be really getting +married at eighteen. But you may be thinking about marriage. Oh, yes! +girls think a great deal about it at that age. Perhaps I did when I +was eighteen; but that was so long ago, so very long ago! Still, for +present purposes, we will imagine I was once a girl, and thought more +or less about the boys, and liked them, too, just as you do now. + +Oh, do not be so sure, you very bashful or very independent few, that +you do not care a fig for the boys, and never shall! If you feel a +kind of indifference now, or cannot see what boys are for, unless to +try their sisters, and act conceited and foolish with the other girls, +you may be on the verge of discovering that they are extremely good +for loving. + +Isn't it remarkable how boys change? Why, you are so suddenly impressed +that Tom Sydney is not half as rude as he used to be! Indeed, he has +grown very polite,--he lifts his hat in such a deferential way; he +speaks with so manly a tone; he has a touch of such gentlemanly, half- +alluring kindness when he helps you over the crossing! Strange, one's +neighbors do alter so! Yes, it is a little remarkable; but it is on +both sides of the street,--girls as well as boys. + +It is not the freshman year in college, nor the first month in business, +nor the first term at an evening dancing-school, which produce the +change in the boys. It is not graduation, nor parties, nor house-keeping +responsibilities, which make such a change in girls. No; but it is a +very beautiful unfolding of the decrees of God which makes boys and +girls love one another. + +But, girls, even if your mind is set on celibacy, and you feel able +to set off by contrasting charms the bliss of matrimony, encourage +the friendship of the boys. You need their friendliness just as they +need yours. You require their steadiness of purpose, their decision, +their frankness, their slower judgment, their more robust endeavor, +their courage and hardihood. They need your keener perception of right +and wrong, your forbearance, your refinement of feeling, your +encouragement, your sympathy, your patience and endurance, your tact, +your gentleness and grace. The boys, you see, have the advantage of +giving you more than you can give them; and you have the advantage +of imparting to them more than they can impart to you. And, pray, what +is friendship but a mutual giving and taking of the best parts of +character? And how, indeed, can boys and girls grow in character without +friends? Do not fancy the boys like in you qualities differing from +those the girls are most fond of. Very young boys may, or very unworthy +men. A twelve-year-old thinks girls are "no good,"--can't fly a kite +without letting go the string, and can't play ball without hitting +him on the head with a bat. A fifteen-year-old thinks girls will do +for some occasions, especially if the girls are his sisters. They can +fasten neck-ties very well, and save a fellow a good deal of +embarrassment at dancing-school. He wishes they wouldn't be such tell- +tales, though. But an eighteen-year-old, or a youth of twenty, cannot +conceive any thing more adorable than the winning ways of girlhood. + +A boy likes a girl sometimes, just as you girls too often like each +other, because she is pretty, or bright, or pert. He is fond of a girl +at other times because the beauty of her character reveals itself in +all kinds of womanly acts. If he marries, he usually meets the deserts +of whatever fondness he cherishes. He may be happy for a while in +association with a pretty face, a saucy tongue, and a becoming costume; +but not for long,--not for long. + +While you are never to forget that you are young women, and that you +owe large tributes to girls everywhere, do not exact consideration +from the boys merely because you are girls. The boys never think of +asking you to favor them. Though you are privileged to demand courtesy, +that should not prevent you from engaging in honest toil with boys, +or from associating with them in harmless pleasures. A boy appreciates +it when a girl takes hold and helps to row, to rake, or to add accounts. + +I think it is extremely commendable when a boy and girl can study +together, work in the factory at the same bench, drive or walk with +one another, and are not foolishly conscious that he is a boy and she +is a girl. It is a pleasure to see a girl look at a boy without +blushing, and to observe a boy look into a girl's eyes without +immediately lowering his lashes. + +Why is this susceptibility? It is not because boys and girls are always +to fall in love when they meet. Every girl has a work to do for the +boys,--some traits in their characters to discountenance, some features +to encourage. How can she do this, if she is always thinking, Maybe +he loves me? Work with the boys she must: join in merry-making and +in whimsical enjoyments, why should she not? but in her gayest moment +let her be mindful, not of a difference in sex, but of the fact that +both a boy and a girl owe deference to each other, courtesy, kindness, +and conformity, as of friend with friend. + +It is quite possible for young women to have friends among the young +men without this friendship developing into a strong affection. You +do not know, girls, how valiantly you are defended by the boys. Boys +are usually such uncommunicative creatures! But touch their friendship, +and they will throw a volley of rhetoric right in among a crowd of +gossipers. Slow to receive favors from you, as they sometimes seem, +they never forget a kindness done by you. + +Now suppose your association with boys does sometime grow into a love +for a young man,--just suppose the case. Ought you to marry him? Of +course I don't know: I am not capable of advising, on account of my +singularity. I might tremblingly suggest, however, that love, health, +and virtue having been seriously contemplated, there should be few, +if any, hindrances to marriage; for out of this trinity will spring +patience, courage, industry, joy, and all that is needful to united +lives. + +If you think my suggestion lacks the significance of experience, why, +hunt up some of the best authorities on the subject. William Penn was +a very moral kind of a man, and experienced in the art of living; and, +like a true Quaker, he put a negative wherever one was needed. He said, +"Never marry but for love, but see thou lovest what is lovely." Only +two conditions, you note; but on them hangs the destiny of all the +future. It is certainly right for you to think of marriage, to regard +it joyfully, yet so as with a serious joy. But girls, dear girls, do +not inflame your hearts with the visions of married life which are +so frequently delineated in the prevalent fiction of the day. You will +be happier without all that extravagance of romantic affection which +fills circulating libraries. Do not read the trash: it will make you +expect too much; it will make real life seem insignificant; it will +cause you to be more and more susceptible in the presence of young +men; it will blot leaves in your book of life which ought to be all +white; it will make truth fictitious; it will lead to temptation,--to +death. Says Miss Yonge, "If every modest woman or girl would abstain +from such books as poison, and never order or read one which makes +crime and impurity prominent, or tampers with dilemmas about the +marriage vow, there would be fewer written and published, and less +wildfire would be spread abroad." Shun the romances which centre all in +a false, unnatural affection. Oh, that they were all sunk in the ocean, +the food for obscene sharks! And, oh, that only such pure and beautiful +romances remained as picture the lives of a Hermann and a Dorothea, +or a Gabriel and an Evangeline! + +But, girls, how some of you do treat the boys! No wonder they grow +conceited: you allow them to become so. Here is a girl only eighteen +years old who has an impression, such a strong impression, there is +but one praise-worthy act for a girl to do, and that is to get married. +Each new birthday will frighten her, and she will dread to be alive +and single at twenty-five. She seizes every matrimonial opportunity, +and haunts a young man like a conviction of conscience. + +Here is another girl quite absorbed in the thought that a _live_ +man pays her certain attentions, and she takes his conceit for grave +wisdom, and his kindness for infinite tenderness. She looks upon him +as an importation from the priesthood of the Grand Llama,--perhaps +he is the Grand Llama himself; certainly the inhabitant of a land where +young men do not grow humanly. He is a _rara avis_, a glorious +phenomenon, a marked consideration in the world, a being to be devoutly +gazed at to come to some appreciation of him. + +I feel you are berating me, girls, so far as your natures will allow; +but, then, do I not speak the truth? Could I not unfold pitiful stories +about girls who marry fine wedding receptions and the servitude of +reverses? about young women who are vain enough to think there can +be no union of hearts without union of intellects, and so lay snares +for college students? Could I not picture to you the _mariage de +convenance_ in America? And could I not describe the marriage of +a jilt? + +I cannot too earnestly repeat that marriage is the common and acceptable +destiny of both boys and girls; but I must complain because girls do +not regard it sufficiently before they enter into it. In the distress +which follows their hastiness, in the despair which sometimes hardens +their hearts, women call marriage a lottery, and man faithless. + +I must think that marriage is not only a very natural, but a very +beautiful, way of increasing love. + +"Love is the burden of all Nature's odes,--the song of the birds an +epithalamium, a hymeneal. The marriage of the flowers spots the meadows, +and fringes the hedges with pearls and diamonds. In the deep waters, +in the high air, in woods and pastures, and the bowels of the earth, +this is the employment and condition of all things." [Footnote: +Thoreau.] + +"God has set the type of marriage everywhere throughout the creation. +Each creature seeks its perfection in another. The very heavens and +earth picture it to us." [Footnote: Luther.] + +Youths and maidens, you are in the heyday of vigorous, joyous life! +Your delight is, like the springtime, rich in hope and promise. Your +laugh rings true; your voices mingle in frolic glee, or in quiet tones +of kind regard. Now join hands in the glad though earnest work of +life,--not life's drudgery, not its toils. No! for the cheer of your +spirits, the courage which looks despair full in the face, and crushes +it with lively endeavor,--these will permit no drudgery; these will +make out of the most desolate moorland a very garden of life! + +You can do _all_! Now make the earth renew its vigor; now make +health and courage come again in the world; now restore the reign of +cheer; now break the bonds of vice; now bring back an earthly Paradise! +With your strong bodies, your glad hearts, your vigorous minds, your +imperial sway over the hearts of one another, your persuasive control +over the feelings of your elders, it is for you to make the future +what you will. Oh, make it the dawn of that civilization, of that +Christianity, when again "the morning stars shall sing together!" + +Only you can restore virtue; only you can cast out corruption; only +you can drive the fiends of intemperance, of fraud, of oppression, +of despair, of craftiness, of selfishness, from the land! + +Girls, in the great work of the future, in the reformation of the +present, can you not do most? When woman was thrust out of Paradise, +man followed her. When she shall return again, and the gates shall +swing open on noiseless hinges at the approach of her pure feet, man +shall be seen, not following, but walking by her side. + +Raphael and Guido have painted the angel Michael with a beautiful +maiden's face, though his body is muscular, and his wings are tipped +with strength, while, firm as a Hercules, he stands upon the writhing +coils of Satan. The Devil but turns his coward head to look with +vanquished strength upon the clear, calm smile of the angel. Maidenly +love of what is pure, of what is brave, of what is manly, will crush +the evil in youths who are tempted; yes, and make from an Adam of mere +muscle and intelligence a very god of virtue. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, HOLD UP YOUR HEADS, GIRLS! *** + +This file should be named 6636.txt or 6636.zip + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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