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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7d5f303 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65938 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65938) diff --git a/old/65938-0.txt b/old/65938-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 383d4a4..0000000 --- a/old/65938-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1436 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Cosmic Bluff, by Mack Reynolds - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Cosmic Bluff - -Author: Mack Reynolds - -Release Date: July 28, 2021 [eBook #65938] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COSMIC BLUFF *** - - - - - THE COSMIC BLUFF - - By Mack Reynolds - - As Earth's Champion, Jak had challenged the - Invaders to a duel in the Arena. It was a grand - bluff, but they called it--with one of their own! - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - October 1952 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -To everyone in the Solar System I was a big shot, understand? Everyone -but two--the two that counted most. One of the two was Suzi, and the -other was me. The difference was that Suzi made no bones about telling -me I was a fake; in my own mind the knowledge was there but more or -less subconscious. - -On this particular occasion Suzi was standing in the center of the half -acre living room of my new penthouse on top the two hundred story -Spacenter Building in Neuve Los Angeles. She had her hands on her hips -and was glaring around at the furniture, the pictures, the statuary. - -She said bitingly, "Jak, you're a phony." - -"A what?" I complained. "Listen, Suzi, don't start calling me those -prehistoric names again." - -"A phony," she said, "a humbug, a four flusher, a quack, a faker...." - -She'd finally got to a word I knew. "Hey," I protested, "what's this -all about?" - -She indicated the portraits of me hanging on the wall. She pointed out -the statuettes. She picked up a magazine and showed me the ad on the -back page--me, endorsing a boomerang. I'd got a thousand credits for -that. - -She went over to the bookcase and pulled out a copy of "How I Became -Champ" and the first volume of "Gladiator Technique". Both by me. That -is, ghost written for me; but my name was on the cover. She indicated -two or three other books I was cashing in on. - -"You're a phony, Jak," she repeated. "You used to be a nice quiet -fellow, actually more shy and retiring than was good for you. Now your -head is swollen beyond bearing." - -I was getting a little hot about this. For the past few months I'd been -acquiring the habit of having people look up to me, admiring me, asking -for my autograph, that sort of thing. - -"Look here," I said. "Just because you've known me for years and -just because for most of that time I've been chasing you, doesn't -mean that the Gladiator Champion of the Solar System is a nobody." I -finished with what I thought would be the clincher. "Let me tell you, -there isn't one girl in a billion who wouldn't be glad to be in your -shoes--engaged to Jak Dempsi." - - * * * * * - -It was the clincher all right. She took her hands from her hips and -folded them over her breasts and glared. "Oh yes there is," she told -me. "There's exactly one girl who isn't interested in being engaged to -you Gladiator Jak Dempsi. Me," she snapped. - -I glared back at her. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "We're going to be -married the day after tomorrow." - -"That's where you're wrong," she snapped again. "I became engaged to a -nice, quiet, thoughtful, second-rate gladiator. A mistake happened and -he wound up Solar System Champion--and a stuffed shirt. The engagement -is off." - -"Second-rate gladiator...." I blurted indignantly, but she was already -on her way, stamping across the Venusian Chameleon rug to the door. - -I was so surprised I stood there, letting her go. It took me a full -minute to understand that Suzi had just run out on me. _Me!_ The -victor at the Interplanetary Meet. The sole survivor of the scores of -gladiators who fought it out once every ten years to see which planet -of the System would dominate interplanetary affairs. - -I went over to the bookcase and wrenched out one of the many books on -prehistoric times that Suzi was always insisting I read. That's Suzi's -bug, if you didn't know. Prehistoric times, customs, history, language, -legends--all of a period that most people don't even know ever -existed, and don't care. - -The book was "Glossary of Ancient Terminology." I thumbed through it -and finally found my words. - -"Stuffed shirt!" I yelped indignantly. "A _stuffed shirt_! Me?" - - * * * * * - -Ten minutes later I was in the Gladiator Room of the Spacenter Building -and already had three or four slugs of _woji_ under my belt. - -"A stuffed shirt, yet. Me! Solar System Champ." I grunted sarcastically -and made with a curt flip of my hand to the bartender. He was a -Venusian spiderman, who of course, make the best barkeeps in the System. - -"Another woji," I ordered. - -A guy drifted down to me from the other end of the bar. "Hanging one -on, Champ?" he asked. "You must be out of training." - -I looked him up and down. I'd never seen him before. However, in my -position you have to be nice to the fans. - -I said, "Woji doesn't bother me. I _train_ on it." Suzi's words were -still burning. I added, out of the side of my mouth, "If you really got -it, you got it, and if you haven't you haven't and all the training in -the world won't give it to you." - -I flexed my muscles. "Woji isn't going to hurt a man like me." - -He blinked in admiration. "Guess you're right at that, Champ," he said. -"It's the second-raters that have to be watching everything they eat, -everything they drink, everything they do." - -"Right," I told him, condescendingly. - -He climbed up on the stool next to me. - -"Have a woji?" I asked him. I was glad to have his company; at least -it'd keep my mind off Suzi. - -"No thanks," he said, shuddering. "But I wouldn't mind a bloor." - -So I ordered him a bloor and another double woji for me. - -My new friend said hesitantly, "Champ, what'd 'ya think of these -visitors, explorers, or whatever you want to call them, from Centaurus?" - -How is it that when you become a celebrity--no matter in what -field--your opinions on every subject seem noteworthy to everybody -else? I'd read a little about the Centaurians, seen an item or two on -the viziscreen, but I didn't know anything about them worth mentioning. -I was too busy with my own rapidly developing affairs to spend much -time keeping up with Solar System news. - -"What about them?" I asked, noticing that my tongue was at last -beginning to get a bit thick. I ordered another drink. The bartender -started to protest, but then shrugged six of his shoulders and began -mixing it. - -"Didn't you hear the latest?" the guy asked. "They're looking for room -for colonization and the Solar System attracts them." - -It was shortly after this that the fog rolled in, and it didn't roll -out again until the following morning when my manager gave me a -dealcoholizer. - - * * * * * - -He was hopping mad. And when I say hopping mad I mean just that since -Mari Nown, my manager, is a chicken-headed Mercurian _Bouncer_. A -nationalized citizen of Terra, of course, but a Mercurian with all -their characteristic excitability. - -When my head cleared, he was jumping up and down in front of me -and waving a sheet of newspaper he'd torn off the recorder on the -viziscreen. - -"Simmer down," I told him. "My head still aches, and besides, I can't -understand what you're yelling about." I added nastily, "In fact, I -can't understand how anything could happen that you'd yell about. All -you do is sit around and let ten percent of everything I make roll into -your pockets. You're probably the richest gladiator manager in the -system and--" - -He stopped hopping long enough to fix me with a beady eye. Finally -he became coherent. "And that's exactly what I want to remain!" he -shrilled. "You stupid _makron_, what're you trying to do, get yourself -killed?" He waved the news sheet again. - -I began to catch on to the fact that I must have done something the day -before while under the influence of--ugh, I couldn't even think of the -word without my stomach churning. - -"All right," I said. "What is it? I don't remember." - -He was prancing again. "You don't remember! I'll say you don't -remember! If you did, you'd be hiding under the bed." - -That got to me. I raised up indignantly. "Hiding under the bed? Me? I -don't have to hide from _anything_. I'm champ!" - -"That's pronounced _chump_," he whistled nastily. He tossed me the news -sheet. - -The headline read: _Interplanetary Champ says issues between Solar -System and Centaurus should be settled in the arena._ - -"Did I say that?" I said interestedly. "When?" - -He was almost hopping again. "To that cub reporter in the Gladiator -Room, you stupid _makron_!" - -"Don't swear at me," I growled. "I didn't know he was a reporter. -Besides, what're you so excited about? Maybe it'd be a good idea." - -"Look at that next head," he shrilled. - -It read: _Centaurians accept challenge of Jak Dempsi._ - -"Hey," I said, "that ought to be quite a fight. Who do you think we'll -have representing the Solar System? A _Slaber_ from Jupiter would be a -good bet. He--" - -There he went again. He screamed, "Of course! Of course, a _Slaber_ -would be best, _but you're the champion! A stupid idiot--but -champion!_" - - * * * * * - -I gaped at that, then let my eyes go down to the news account. He was -right. As champion, I was scheduled to meet the Centaurian gladiator. -On the outcome would depend the fate of the System. - -"Well," I said slowly. "Guess it makes sense at that. I _am_ the best -gladiator in the System." - -He closed his little bird eyes in anguish. - -I added, "As a matter of fact, I could use the exercise. I haven't had -a meet in months." I eyed him accusingly. "What kind of a manager are -you? Here I am, Solar System Champ and you haven't got me a fight since -I won the Interplanetary Meet. The biggest drawing card in--" - -He'd got to the point where he was so mad he wasn't hopping any more. -Just breathing real deep. - -He said, "The reason you haven't had any meets since you became champ -is because I'd rather have a live champ making a good living endorsing -Callipso Snak-goat Cheese--and me getting ten percent--than I would -have a dead champ." - -"What'd'ya mean?" I scoffed. "Nobody gets killed in an exhibition -match." I flexed my muscles. "Besides, I can take care of myself up -against any earth-side gladiator after--" - -He glowered at me. "Anybody who killed the champ, by accident or -otherwise, in an exhibition match, would have a nice reputation for -himself. _You_ might go into the arena with the idea of not killing -your opponent, but would _he_?" - -I shrugged uncomfortably. "I can take care of myself--" - -"Look," he shrilled, "let's go back over a little recent arena history. -Less than a year ago you were a second-rater fighting at the state -fairs. You went to Mars to watch the Interplanetary Meet which is held -once every decade to decide interplanetary affairs. The ship carrying -Terra's gladiators was lost in space and you were tossed in as an -emergency replacement." - -"Sure," I said. "The first time a Terran ever won an Interplanetary -Meet." - -He whistled disgustedly, "The first time a Terran ever lasted more than -five minutes." - -"Well?" I said proudly. - -He pointed a few fingers at me. "BY A FLUKE! By using a lot of ideas -you got from that quotation spouting girl friend of yours, you won by a -fluke! Among other things, you _played possum_, as you called it, under -a heap of corpses until all the others were either killed or wounded -and then got up and finished them off. The fans throughout the system -are still screaming about that." - -"Well, I'm still champ," I said truculently. "I licked them once, -and...." - -"Aw, shut up," he shrilled. He whirled about and started for the door. -"I'll see what I can do." - - * * * * * - -I didn't know what he meant by that, but I shrugged and rang for -my breakfast. The twinge of conscience I felt inside, I manfully -suppressed. I suppose that I really knew he was right, but I'd been -getting a good deal of ego-boo the past months and it was hard--almost -impossible, in fact--not to listen to it. - -By noon the dealcoholizer had completed its work and I felt more or -less normal. I suppose I should have been worrying about the bout with -the Centaurian, but I wasn't. Not particularly. I was worrying about -Suzi. - -Suzi worked for a chain of publications as a female sports reporter -covering the gladiator meets from the woman's angle. What she wanted -to do was write books about primitive culture, and for years that had -been the barrier between us. She couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't -particularly interested in the ancients and spent half the time we -had together in trying to fill me with the lore she thought the big -interest in life. She'd even given me my professional name, explaining -that the original Jak Dempsi was one of the outstanding gladiators in -ancient times. - -At any rate, I knew where she usually had her lunch and made my way -there, hoping to be able to patch things up. She'd promised to marry -me, after I'd won the championship for Earth, and if there was anything -I could do about it, I was going to see her hold to the engagement. - -The Interplanetary Viziscreen Service, the I.V.S., occupies a building -in Neuve Los Angeles nearly as large as Spacenter. Almost all of the -I.V.S. people eat in the Auto Cafe, and it was there I made my way. - -Soft music was playing as I entered and looked over the three acre -expanse of tables. Of course, I didn't have to check them all--Suzi -always sat in the sport section with perhaps a few hundred others. - -The soft pleasant dining music cut off abruptly and the autorch started -blaring out an earsplitting tune that brought back enough of my -headache to make me grimace. - -Several thousand heads came up and looked toward the entrance where I -stood. A movement started somewhere or other and before you knew it, -everybody in the place was standing on his feet and slapping his hands -like crazy. - -Everybody but two. - -I could spot them now. Suzi and Alger Wilde were sitting at a table in -the sport section. I made my way toward them. - - * * * * * - -Alger Wilde, I might as well explain here, is a _makron_ from the -word _glorm_, if you'll pardon my language. He's been trying, in his -smirking way, to get in with Suzi for almost as many years as I have, -and until I won the championship was doing at least as well as I. His -strong point was the fact that he was even further around the corner -in regard to the ancients than was Suzi. They could sit and talk for -hours about the primitive comic books and other cultural matters that -the average person had no interest in whatsoever. - -I still didn't know what all the clapping was about, and I still didn't -like the raucous music, but I ignored it all and made my way toward -their table, rehearsing to myself what I was going to say to Suzi. - -When I got nearer, the two of them, self-consciously, also came to -their feet and both made with feeble applause to the extent of clapping -their hands together once or twice. - -I said, "What goes on here?" - -We all sat down--with me congratulating myself that Suzi didn't -object--and Suzi, her eyes shining, gushed, "Oh Jak, isn't it -wonderful?" - -I said, "I guess so. What?" I looked around the room in irritation. -"What's all the noise about? I can hardly hear ourselves talk." - -Alger Wilde said stiffly, "It's the new anthem, _The Solar System -Forever_. Very patriotic. It was just completed by a staff of more -than three hundred of the System's outstanding musicians. I understand -that it's being played on every viziscreen on nine planets and twenty -satellites. On order of the governments of all Solar System League -members, the musicians rushed it through." - -"It sounds like it," I growled. At least everybody had sat down again -and were eating their lunch. - -The stars were still in Suzi's eyes. She said softly, "It's dedicated -to you, Jak." - -"Huh?" - -Alger Wilde bit out, "Why'd you think everybody was clapping? You're -the hero of the System." He added, barely audibly, "They know not what -they do." - -It was beginning to dawn on me. My mind had been so full of Suzi that -I'd almost forgotten about the Centaurian fight. - -Suzi cast her eyes down to the table and said softly, "I'm sorry about -yesterday, Jak. When I heard about your heroic challenge I realized how -wrong I was." - -I scowled and said, "I didn't exactly challenge them, just suggested -that the whole thing ought to be settled in the arena. Maybe a _Slaber_ -or a Saturnian gladiator, or--" - -Alger said, satisfaction oozing, "But you're the Champ, Jak." - -And Suzi gushed, "So you'll certainly have the honor. Oh, Jak, our -engagement will have to be postponed until after the fight." - - * * * * * - -There was a gleam in Wilde's eye. He said, "And _after_ the fight the -marriage can take place. Only the brave deserve the fair, and; to the -victor belongs the spoils, as the ancients used to say." - -I knew what he was thinking. If I was killed in the arena, he'd be back -in the running for Suzi. I growled, "What the _kert_ do you mean by -that, Wilde?" - -Suzi placed her hands over her ears. "Please, Jak, your language." - -Alger Wilde said indignantly, "Yes, what the hell is the idea talking -that way before Suzi?" - -I said disgustedly, "I'll be a _makron_"--she covered her ears there, -too--"if I understand how you two figure. I say _kert_ and you're -shocked. Five seconds later Wilde says _hell_, an ancient word meaning -practically the same thing, and it's all right." - -Wilde said indignantly, "It's an entirely different matter. _Hell_ is -now a scholarly word, and quite acceptable. Of course, in ancient times -it wasn't and when a cultivated person wished to use a strong expletive -he said _Hades_, which was still a more ancient word meaning the same -thing. Using the scholarly expression made it all right." - -"I give up," I said and turned to Suzi. "Let's get out of here. I want -to talk to you." - -She said demurely, "Yes, dear." - -I grunted a goodbye to Wilde and arose. There was applause again and -the autorch started blaring _The Solar System Forever_ as we left. - -"You could get awfully tired of music like that," I said. - -Suzi said, "Not me, Jak." - -The usually crowded street outside the I.V.S. Building was curiously -empty, but I didn't pay much attention. I was trying to figure out -some way of talking Suzi into marrying me before the fight, so it was -several minutes before I noticed what was out of whack. - -A hundred yards before us, a hundred yards behind us, and across the -street, were several scores of white uniformed officers, Solar League -police, clearing the pedestrians, and even vehicular traffic from our -way. - -I started to say, "What goes on here any--" - -But Suzi looked at me soulfully and said, "Your guard of honor, Jak. -There's been some talk that the Centaurians might try to get at you -before the meet." - -To quote one of Suzi's favorite primitive exclamations, _Oh, Brother_. - -"Look," I said. "I can't talk to you in front of all this. I feel like -a parade. Let's go into a theatre, take a box and have this out." - -Suzi wasn't disagreeing with anything today. - - * * * * * - -We entered the theatre and made our way as quietly as possible toward a -sound-proof box where we could be alone. - -Suddenly, the three dimensional figures on the stage faded, the -lights went on and the autorch started blaring that confounded tune -again. Everyone in the theatre turned, spotted us and arose and began -whistling and clapping. - -I winced, but Suzi seemed to be in her glory. I hurried her along and -we entered the enclosed box where at least we couldn't hear them after -I'd turned off the sound device. - -Finally, the lights went out again. Instead of resuming the play, -however, we had a flash of the face of the President of Terra. He spoke -very seriously, very earnestly--and I had to sit through it after Suzi -had switched on the sound again. He pointed out at some length that we -all must maintain faith and calm and hold in our hearts the image of -the champion of the Solar System, our own Terran Gladiator, Jak Dempsi. - -The President's face faded and was replaced with a still of mine. - -The audience rose to a man, faced our box and applauded like crazy. I -had a sneaking suspicion that the show wasn't going to go on as long as -Suzi and I were there. - -I said, "Let's get out of here before that autorch--" but I was too -late. It started blaring _The Solar System Forever_ before we reached -the door. Everybody was singing too, which made it worse. I hadn't -known before that it had words. - -Otherwise, it was a successful evening. Particularly after I convinced -the Solar System League officers that there was no need for around a -dozen of them to be stationed in my apartment. I told them that they -could patrol the corridors, my roof, and the street outside to their -hearts' content, but my apartment was out. The officer in charge took -another look at Suzi and evidently decided I was probably right--there -are things more important than personal safety. - -The rest of the evening was spent by Suzi proving that she still loved -me. She offered some excellent evidence. Anyway, it satisfied me.... - - * * * * * - -I was awakened again the next morning by Mari Nown who, as he had the -morning before, was waving a sheet of newspaper before my eyes. This -could grow into a very unpleasant habit. - -But at least he wasn't hopping this time. In fact, he seemed quite -pleased with himself. - -I turned over on my other side and growled, "Go away, I was having a -beautiful dream about Suzi." - -He whistled happily, "I've done it for you, Jak. Everything'll be fine -now." - -"That's good," I began sleepily, but then I sat upright in bed, with -quick suspicion. "You've done what?" I grabbed the newspaper from his -hand. It read, _Champ's Manager reveals he has Venusian Elephantiasis_. - -I stared at it and then at him. "What in _kert_ is Venusian -Elephantiasis, and where'd you get the idea I have it?" - -He shrilled proudly, "I had to do a lot of research. It's one of the -few diseases left in the system that's incurable. So rare, for one -thing." - -I was still half asleep. I shook my head. - -He said, "Don't you get it? You won't have to fight now. You can retire -from the arena, as undefeated champ, and make a top notch living for -the rest of your life endorsing--" - -I jumped out of the bed and dashed to the telo, but even before I could -reach it it glowed on and Suzi's face, cold as a winter day on Pluto, -was there. - -Her eyes seemed to focus about three feet beyond my head and she said, -"Jak Dempsi, you're a phony. A cheap, petty, _cowardly_ phony. Venusian -Elephantiasis, indeed!" Her voice dripped scorn. "I never want to hear -from you again." - -"_Suzi_, wait a minute. I can explain," I yelled. "My manager--" But -the screen had died. - -I spun on him, but he wasn't at the side of the bed where I'd seen him -last. Instead he was over at the Viziscreen, the glee gone from his -chicken-like face, and anxiety beginning to become evident. - -He shrilled, "They can't do this to me. We're being robbed!" - - * * * * * - -I started for him, my fingers stretched out like claws. Here was one -Mercurian _Bouncer_ who was going to have his neck wrung, like the fowl -he resembled. - -Something in his attitude stopped me. I came up beside him and growled, -"What now, you _makron_?" - -He pointed at the news sheet which had recorded the item. - -_Forty-three thousand Solar System scientists working on cure for -Venusian Elephantiasis._ - -He shrilled despairingly, "They'll have you cured in days." - -I snorted, "Especially since I haven't got it in the first place. -Listen, what gave you the idea I wanted to get out of this fight, -anyway? I'm not afraid--" - -He started hopping at that. "_You're_ not afraid! You're too stupid, -too conceited to be afraid. _I'm_ afraid, understand? I'm your manager; -I know how good a gladiator you are, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid first -that you'll get killed and I'll lose the best thing I've ever had, but -even more than that I'm afraid that this Solar System isn't going to be -fit to live in after you lose this fight and the Centaurians take over." - -I growled truculently, "I can whip anybody in the Solar System and I -can whip--" - -He flung two of his wing-arms up in despair. "We have _Slabers_, we -have fast moving Spidermen, we have four armed Martians; but who do we -get to represent us in the most important gladiatorial fight in history? -A second-rate, inflated, balloon headed--" - -"Hey...." I protested indignantly. - -But he'd stopped of his own accord and clicked his heels in the -Mercurian version of snapping of fingers in sudden inspiration. - -"Look," he whistled. "If they can put forty-three thousand scientists -to work figuring out a way to cure a disease they think you have, why -can't they put ten times that number--a thousand times--to work on some -new weapons you can use against this Centaurian _makron_?" - -I scowled at him, not getting it. "You know better than that. In the -arena the only weapons allowed are primitive ones, swords, spears, -battle axes, boomerangs--" - -"Yes, yes," he shrilled excitedly, beginning to hop again. "But this -is different. They--the Centaurians--don't know that." He clicked his -heels together again. "It's the solution! We'll devise, in the next -month, some sure thing weapon. You can't lose!" - -But I was worried more about Suzi than about the fight. I growled at -him, "I don't need anything but my short sword. All I want to be sure -about is that I'm in that fight, see? If I'm not I'll never see--" - -But he was already darting for the door. - - * * * * * - -Well, within the week the scientists had "cured" me of the disease that -Mari Nown had dreamed up. I was scheduled for the fight again. - -But no word from Suzi. And no way of getting in touch with her. I tried -everything, but Suzi just wasn't having any of me. - -We started my training, and it became more or less of an Earth-wide -secret that the scientists were fixing me up with some secret weapons -which would guarantee the victory. Most of the sportswriters who came -to the training camp were tight lipped and disapproving about it--not -quite playing the game, you know--but the governmental big shots who -were trembling in their boots over the Centaurian threat, made it clear -that anything was going to go to insure Solar System victory. So the -reporters didn't print the stories they might have. - -Except for Suzi. - -Evidently the word got back to her about the weapons I was learning -to use, and she let loose at me in her column. Nothing that the -Centaurians would understand, of course, but the digs were there. She -made it pretty clear that Jak Dempsi was a phony and that only with the -use of unsportsmanlike weapons would he consent to go into the arena at -all. - -She had some nasty comebacks, because sentiment was running pretty high -throughout the League planets, and anybody saying a word against the -Champ was apt to find himself mobbed. They were frightened, understand? -The whole Solar System was frightened, and they couldn't bear the -thought that I was less than their saviour. - -But Suzi kept it up. She was the only sports reporter in the system who -dared point out what they were all probably feeling. - -The great trouble in the training was that we hadn't the vaguest idea -of what the Centaurians looked like. Their tremendous ship, several -times the size of the greatest of ours, hovered motionlessly over -Krishna-Krishna, the Venusian capitol city, but thus far not one of -them had been spotted. They communicated with us, blank-screened, and -we had nothing to go on to decide whether or not they were humanoid, or -even if they were air breathers, although the latter would seem likely -if they wished to colonize the Solar System since all our life forms -are based on oxygen. - -The only thing was to provide me with several weapons, one each for the -various different types of creature our Centaurians might be. In fact, -it was only by dint of argument that I was allowed to take my short -sword with me into the arena when the day finally arrived. The managers -who'd had my training in hand wanted to use the space and weight the -sword would take up to carry another half dozen atomic grenades. - -I growled at them. "Listen, if these grenades are going to work--and -how the _kert_ they could possibly fail to work, I don't know--_one_ of -them will do the job. I'll take my sword along if only for a good luck -charm; I've never been in an arena without it yet." - -And I added sarcastically, "This is going to be some fight, this is. I -feel like a murderer." - -I kept the sword. - - * * * * * - -Needless to say, the amphitheatre was packed. Tens of thousands must -have pauperized themselves for fare to Venus and for the highly priced -seats. But whatever the cost, the stands were packed beyond belief. -And, of course, throughout the system every man, woman and child, every -brim, mador and loet, every--but you get the idea. Every intelligent -living thing in the Solar System was glued to his viziscreen. - -And above the arena floated the Centaurian ship, silent, sinister. - -There were no preliminaries. That would have been too much. - -Instead, when the moment of conflict arrived, I came out into the -arena--staggered, might have been the better word. I had a burden of -weapons that was just about all I could carry. - -When the stands first saw me enter, they came to their feet and began a -cheer that should have echoed and reechoed--but didn't. It died almost -before it began. When they saw my equipment, the cheer faltered, then -died in shame. - -They realized, those citizens from all over the Solar System, what was -happening. The stakes were too high. The Solar System was trading honor -for security. Instead of being armed with the traditional sword or -spear, battleaxe or boomerang, I was laden with the most deadly devices -our scientists could develop. - -As I said, the cheers died almost before they began. - -Maybe I flushed a little. I don't know. But I tightened my jaw. At -least they didn't boo. Everyone in the stands knew the issue; however -he writhed in shame there must be no indication to the Centaurians that -we weren't playing the game, that we weren't living up to our own rules. - -I stood, my back to the judge's stand, and waited. To the left was the -sports box, and I could make out Suzi, even at that distance. Her face -was expressionless. - -A great helicopter suddenly and deftly detached itself from the -Centaurian ship and gracefully swooped down. It was beautifully -handled, settling to the opposite side of the arena as gently as a -butterfly. - -A large door in its side opened, the Centaurian emerged, and a gasp -from the stands went up; a gasp louder than the cheer that had -originally greeted me. - -Of all Solar System intelligent life forms, Jupiter's _Slaber_ is by -far the largest, and, for that reason, that and its natural armor -shell, Jupiter had been winning the Interplanetary Meets two out of -three times for centuries. - -But this hulking brute made the _Slaber_ seem a babe in arms. It -resembled somewhat a six legged turtle, roughly twice the size of a -Terran elephant. It had two lobster-like claws and four other limbs. - - * * * * * - -Evidently, it had decided to end the battle as quickly as possible, -because without either salute or warning it headed for me, the dust -churning up behind it as it came. Its legs were short but fantastically -fast. They seemed a blur of speed and before I had got over the -surprise of its appearance it was half way across the arena toward me. - -A shout, almost a moan, of warning went up from the stands, and -suddenly those citizens of the Solar System were no longer ashamed of -the weapons I carried, no longer contemptuous of my honor. - -I grasped my atomic grenade from its hook on my belt, dropped the -projectile thrower to the ground to give my arm free play, and threw. - -Half the total acreage of the arena went up in a gust of dirt, dust, -gravel and colored smoke. Seconds later I had been thrown prostrate -by the blast. Probably half the amphitheatre's occupants had been -similarly treated, and how many blast casualties might have been among -them, I couldn't know. - -But at least, I thought, the fight was over and I'd done the Solar -League's dirty work for it. I'd never be able to hold up my head again -in a circle of gladiators, but the System was safe. - -I came to my feet and turned to go. - -A shout, incredulous, unbelieving, arose from the stands, drowning out -the cries of those wounded by the blast of my grenade. - -I spun and stared. - -Crawling laboriously over the lip of the crater my grenade had caused -was the Centaurian. One of his many limbs seemed limp and useless, and -his shell was battered and begrimed, but he was still alive, and not -too much the worse for wear. - -When it got to level ground again it seemed to pause momentarily, -seeking me out. - -I grabbed up the heavy submachine gat--as Suzi tells me they called -them in the old days--and threw it to my shoulder. The projectiles it -threw were only half an inch in diameter but each of them packed a -charge of atomic explosive. - - * * * * * - -I trained it and held the trigger down. The two hundred round drum was -exhausted in less than a half minute, and the sound of the projectiles -exploding against the shell of my foe was ear shocking in intensity. -Once again, a cloud of smoke and dust enveloped the Centaurian. And -only after the last cartridge had been expended and the submachine -gat now useless, was the sigh of relief that went up over the stands -audible. - -But through the smoke, of a sudden, charged the six legged Centaurian -and my eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. He was seemingly not -further injured. - -I dodged quickly to one side, stumbling over the gat I'd thrown away, -thinking the fight over, and it uselessly empty. It was only the -stumbling that saved me. I rolled to the side and it was past me and -spinning about for another attack. - -The Centaurian growled in a thunderous voice, "And now the fight -begins, Terran _makron_." Its bulk evidently was no indication of -a lack of intelligence. It had already not only learned to speak -Amer-English, but could swear in our language. - -I had one more major weapon in my deadly arsenal. I whipped the -blunderbuss-nosed, pistol-like device from my belt and trained it. -Even though shielded with my especially designed ear plugs, the -subsonic sounds flowed over me, enveloped me, terrified me. What it was -doing to the enemy I could only guess. - -Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it of the desperate, soul -shaking fears brought on by the subsonic vibrator, I stared in the -direction of the Centaurian. - -He seemed to be watching me, questioningly. And suddenly I understood -that he was waiting for the weapon to work! He wanted to see what it -was going to do. - -_It wasn't doing anything!_ - -A quarter of a mile away, on the other side of the amphitheatre, and -supposedly out of range, spectators were fainting in droves, literally -thousands of them screaming or keeling over. But a few yards before me -he stood unimpressed. - -I swore and threw the thing down, ripped off the rest of the belts and -equipment they'd foisted upon me and reached for my sword. - -It dashed forward, extending a tentacle from its body that formerly I'd -been unaware of. I swung desperately and the sword clanged against the -limb. I darted backward, noticing a large dent in the cutting edge. - -Like a flash one of the lobster claws snapped out at me, nipping a cut -in my left side, just below the ribs. Had it been another six inches -over, I would have been cut in half. - - * * * * * - -I dashed to one side and it rushed past, stirring up a breeze as it -went. How such a large creature could get up momentum so rapidly was a -mystery to me. - -I grated out one of Suzi's slogans to give myself courage. _The bigger -they are, the harder they fall._ And then it came to me that the -trouble was that if they're big enough perhaps they don't get around to -falling at all. - -It was about and after me again. - -I stood in its path, sword in hand, waiting. A massive groan went up -from the stands. - -Just before it reached me, I darted forward, crouched low, and dashed -under its belly. Here, if anywhere, was the soft spot. As I ran, I -thrust desperately upward with all my strength, then I was suddenly -completely under and beyond it. - -I spun around and stood there panting and staring at the end of my -broken pointed sword. - -It turned too, as though looking to find my trampled body, and -surprised that I'd survived. It was about thirty feet away, and -seemingly resting. - -Suddenly from its mouth gushed forth a stream of flame, reaching out -for me. - -It was only by the merest chance that my grenade-made crater was -immediately behind me. I tripped again and fell backward, and the sheet -of flame passed over me. - -A sigh went up from the stands. - -Suddenly, over the ridge it came tearing. Hoping, evidently, to catch -me before I recovered from my fall. - -It had miscalculated and passed a good six feet to my right. I sprung -to my feet and dashed over in time to deal its tail a smashing -blow--and to accumulate another dent in my blade. - -At this pace, my strength was rapidly giving out, and his seemed as -great as ever--but I was still quicker in that my size and build -enabled me to turn, spin, dodge, more effectively. - -He tried twice more to get me with his flaming breath, and both times I -was able to avoid it by inches. Or nearly so, at least. I kept my life, -though hair and clothes were singed. - - * * * * * - -I had worked my way, involuntarily toward the press boxes, and took -time to shoot up a desperate glance in Suzi's direction. Her face had -lost its coldness now; her lips were parted in fear. - -Almost, I was able to smile. Suzi knew the signs--as did all the -rest of the reporters--she'd seen too many meets not to know when a -gladiator was using his last iota of strength and was on the verge of -collapse. She knew--possibly even better than I--how long I could keep -up this pace. And then-- - -Seeing her, recalled her way of finding a slogan, a quotation of the -ancients, for almost every situation that arose. - -And in the recalling one came to me! - -_Meet fire with fire._ - -The Centaurian was emerging from the crater where its most recent -charge had taken it. I ran with what speed I could muster to the -Judges' stand and grasped one of the sacred Venusian torches that -flanked the Judges' bench. I turned then and sped toward the enemy in -hopes of getting him as he climbed over the crater edge. - -He saw me coming and tried ineffectively to scorch me with his flaming -breath, but he was either growing weak, or had utilized all the fuel -his body produced for the effort. The flame leaped out a mere six or -eight feet. - -Holding the torch in hand, I dashed straight at him. As I had hoped, -one of the lobster claws darted at me. I leaped nimbly to one side, -bounced up upon the claw and scampered up it toward the four glaring -eyes. I thrust the torch out and into them, hearing as though from a -great distance, the cheer of victory that went up from the stands. - -Then sliding, falling, tumbling, I was on the ground again and hurrying -as fast as possible from what I expected to be the painful, blinded -throes of the thing. - -I turned and stared. It stood there, watching me. Showing no signs of -distress. - -It rumbled, finally, angrily, "You can't fool me all of the time, -Terran. Soon you will tire, then I will get you--" - -Suzi's books came back to me again. What was it I was trying to -remember? I stood there panting, realizing the ridiculousness of -standing exhausted in the middle of the arena and remembering odds and -ends that Suzi had told me about the ancients. - -And then, just as the Centaurian headed for me again, it clicked. - -A silence had settled down over the crowd. Arena wise, through years -of watching gladiatorial events, they knew my knees were sagging, my -reflexes slowed, my muscles screaming protest. - -I stood there, sword in hand, directly in its path--waiting. It had -said, "You can't fool me all of the time, Terran." - -And that's what had clicked. - -_You can fool some of the people some of the time...._ - - * * * * * - -Praying that I had strength enough left for this, I waited until it -was nearly upon me, its lobster claws out-thrust, its six heavy feet -pounding. Then I jumped, to one side, back again. I bounded high to the -knee joint of the second limb on the left, as the Centaurian skidded -to a halt. A second scrambling leap and I was on its back. Half on my -feet, half on my hands, I scampered forward toward its head, even as -several tentacles made their way gropingly toward me. - -No, I wasn't looking for a soft spot for my now dull sword. I knew -there wouldn't be any. - -The tentacles were reaching, almost touching me, but I ignored them. I -found the tiny door right behind its massive head. I was right! I found -the lock and sprung it. - -The door swung open and inside the tiny, leaded shielded compartment -the little creature occupying it looked up at me fearfully. - -I grasped it by the scruff of the neck and hoisted it out of its seat. -The "Centaurian Gladiator" had stopped completely now. - -I dropped to the ground and tossed the thing before me. It was about -the size of, and looked considerably like a small Terran pig. It was -pink, fat, and, as Suzi said later, cute. Right now I didn't appreciate -its cuteness. - -"Please," it squealed, "don't touch me. I can't bear being hurt!" - -I kicked it where its hams would have been had it really been a pig. -It squealed again and started out, hampered in its speed by its fat, -running across the arena with me after it, giving it _kert_ with the -toe of my boot. - -It dashed for the helicopter and I gave it one last kick as it -scampered for the craft's door so that it flew the last four feet. In -the background I could hear the crowd roaring like thunder. - -In seconds, the helicopter had taken off and returned to the spaceship -above. It was swallowed up and the Centaurian ship blasted off and -away. Evidently, it wasn't waiting to see what the Solar System fleet -would do when the farce was made known. - -I turned, and for a moment stared at the robot the Centaurian had -occupied. Then my injuries and fatigue caught up with me. The fog -rolled in and I slumped to the arena sands. - - * * * * * - -I explained later in the hospital room to the diplomats, the I.V.S. -reporters, and the others. And I made the explanation as short as -possible. - -In the first place, how could a thing that big and awkward have handled -the helicopter so gracefully? How could _any_ organic creature survive -the explosion of an atomic grenade? How could it breath fire? How could -it stand a burning torch being thrust into its eyes? - -But it was the quotation that had brought it all home to me. I suddenly -realized I was being fooled--and another of Suzi's quotations came -to mind. _This is a horse of another color._ Then it clicked in its -entirety. - -_The Trojan Horse_, I had thought, something is inside. It's a robot, a -mechanical fighting machine, like the tanks of old. - -Suddenly the diplomats and the reporters were gone and Suzi was there, -the star dust in her eyes again. - -Before she could speak, I told her, humbly, "You were right, Suzi, I am -a phony. I'm no champ. I was scared to death out there, when I found -that all the super-weapons they'd made for me were--" - -"But, _darling_, you won!" She knelt beside the bed, but I turned my -head away. - -"Won," I said bitterly. "Sure, by a fluke again. I won against a little -half pint that could have been defeated by a child." I snorted in -self-deprecation. "I wonder what the crowd out there is thinking. I -enter the arena with enough weapons to depopulate a small planet, and -it takes me half an hour to find out it's all a hoax." - -She remained kneeling there, but it was another voice that said, "The -crowd doesn't see it that way, Jak." It was Alger Wilde, who had -entered with my manager. - -"Of course not," Suzi insisted. "You didn't know what you were against, -but you were in there all the time, taking on something worse than any -gladiator in the System.--You proved yourself, Jak." - -Alger went to the window and opened it. "Listen to this," he said -grudgingly. From the distance I could hear the arena crowd singing _The -Solar System Forever_. - -Even Mari Nown was happy. It seemed as though the judges unanimously -voted to make me Interplanetary Champ for the rest of my life. The -situation was obvious. Terra couldn't afford to let anything happen to -me now. As soon as I died, the next Interplanetary Meet would result in -a new champ and a new change in the balance of power. Terra wouldn't -allow me to fight--not even in exhibitions. - -Mari Nown's chicken head beamed as he bounced back and forth on his -heels. "You're going to live to a ripe old age," he shrilled happily, -"and the most dangerous thing you'll ever do is sign endorsements for -Venusian Salt Water Taffy." He added, more happily still, "And I'll get -ten percent of everything you make." - -"Everything but Suzi," I told him, sticking out an arm to encircle her. - -Alger Wilde frowned. "You know, Jak," he grunted, "I think you're right -about that music. _The Solar System Forever_ is a raucous thing." - -It was welling, ever louder, through the window. - -"Oh, I don't know," I said as soon as I took my lips from Suzi's. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Cosmic Bluff</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Mack Reynolds</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 28, 2021 [eBook #65938]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COSMIC BLUFF ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>THE COSMIC BLUFF</h1> - -<h2>By Mack Reynolds</h2> - -<p>As Earth's Champion, Jak had challenged the<br /> -Invaders to a duel in the Arena. It was a grand<br /> -bluff, but they called it—with one of their own!</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -October 1952<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>To everyone in the Solar System I was a big shot, understand? Everyone -but two—the two that counted most. One of the two was Suzi, and the -other was me. The difference was that Suzi made no bones about telling -me I was a fake; in my own mind the knowledge was there but more or -less subconscious.</p> - -<p>On this particular occasion Suzi was standing in the center of the half -acre living room of my new penthouse on top the two hundred story -Spacenter Building in Neuve Los Angeles. She had her hands on her hips -and was glaring around at the furniture, the pictures, the statuary.</p> - -<p>She said bitingly, "Jak, you're a phony."</p> - -<p>"A what?" I complained. "Listen, Suzi, don't start calling me those -prehistoric names again."</p> - -<p>"A phony," she said, "a humbug, a four flusher, a quack, a faker...."</p> - -<p>She'd finally got to a word I knew. "Hey," I protested, "what's this -all about?"</p> - -<p>She indicated the portraits of me hanging on the wall. She pointed out -the statuettes. She picked up a magazine and showed me the ad on the -back page—me, endorsing a boomerang. I'd got a thousand credits for -that.</p> - -<p>She went over to the bookcase and pulled out a copy of "How I Became -Champ" and the first volume of "Gladiator Technique". Both by me. That -is, ghost written for me; but my name was on the cover. She indicated -two or three other books I was cashing in on.</p> - -<p>"You're a phony, Jak," she repeated. "You used to be a nice quiet -fellow, actually more shy and retiring than was good for you. Now your -head is swollen beyond bearing."</p> - -<p>I was getting a little hot about this. For the past few months I'd been -acquiring the habit of having people look up to me, admiring me, asking -for my autograph, that sort of thing.</p> - -<p>"Look here," I said. "Just because you've known me for years and -just because for most of that time I've been chasing you, doesn't -mean that the Gladiator Champion of the Solar System is a nobody." I -finished with what I thought would be the clincher. "Let me tell you, -there isn't one girl in a billion who wouldn't be glad to be in your -shoes—engaged to Jak Dempsi."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was the clincher all right. She took her hands from her hips and -folded them over her breasts and glared. "Oh yes there is," she told -me. "There's exactly one girl who isn't interested in being engaged to -you Gladiator Jak Dempsi. Me," she snapped.</p> - -<p>I glared back at her. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "We're going to be -married the day after tomorrow."</p> - -<p>"That's where you're wrong," she snapped again. "I became engaged to a -nice, quiet, thoughtful, second-rate gladiator. A mistake happened and -he wound up Solar System Champion—and a stuffed shirt. The engagement -is off."</p> - -<p>"Second-rate gladiator...." I blurted indignantly, but she was already -on her way, stamping across the Venusian Chameleon rug to the door.</p> - -<p>I was so surprised I stood there, letting her go. It took me a full -minute to understand that Suzi had just run out on me. <i>Me!</i> The -victor at the Interplanetary Meet. The sole survivor of the scores of -gladiators who fought it out once every ten years to see which planet -of the System would dominate interplanetary affairs.</p> - -<p>I went over to the bookcase and wrenched out one of the many books on -prehistoric times that Suzi was always insisting I read. That's Suzi's -bug, if you didn't know. Prehistoric times, customs, history, language, -legends—all of a period that most people don't even know ever -existed, and don't care.</p> - -<p>The book was "Glossary of Ancient Terminology." I thumbed through it -and finally found my words.</p> - -<p>"Stuffed shirt!" I yelped indignantly. "A <i>stuffed shirt</i>! Me?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Ten minutes later I was in the Gladiator Room of the Spacenter Building -and already had three or four slugs of <i>woji</i> under my belt.</p> - -<p>"A stuffed shirt, yet. Me! Solar System Champ." I grunted sarcastically -and made with a curt flip of my hand to the bartender. He was a -Venusian spiderman, who of course, make the best barkeeps in the System.</p> - -<p>"Another woji," I ordered.</p> - -<p>A guy drifted down to me from the other end of the bar. "Hanging one -on, Champ?" he asked. "You must be out of training."</p> - -<p>I looked him up and down. I'd never seen him before. However, in my -position you have to be nice to the fans.</p> - -<p>I said, "Woji doesn't bother me. I <i>train</i> on it." Suzi's words were -still burning. I added, out of the side of my mouth, "If you really got -it, you got it, and if you haven't you haven't and all the training in -the world won't give it to you."</p> - -<p>I flexed my muscles. "Woji isn't going to hurt a man like me."</p> - -<p>He blinked in admiration. "Guess you're right at that, Champ," he said. -"It's the second-raters that have to be watching everything they eat, -everything they drink, everything they do."</p> - -<p>"Right," I told him, condescendingly.</p> - -<p>He climbed up on the stool next to me.</p> - -<p>"Have a woji?" I asked him. I was glad to have his company; at least -it'd keep my mind off Suzi.</p> - -<p>"No thanks," he said, shuddering. "But I wouldn't mind a bloor."</p> - -<p>So I ordered him a bloor and another double woji for me.</p> - -<p>My new friend said hesitantly, "Champ, what'd 'ya think of these -visitors, explorers, or whatever you want to call them, from Centaurus?"</p> - -<p>How is it that when you become a celebrity—no matter in what -field—your opinions on every subject seem noteworthy to everybody -else? I'd read a little about the Centaurians, seen an item or two on -the viziscreen, but I didn't know anything about them worth mentioning. -I was too busy with my own rapidly developing affairs to spend much -time keeping up with Solar System news.</p> - -<p>"What about them?" I asked, noticing that my tongue was at last -beginning to get a bit thick. I ordered another drink. The bartender -started to protest, but then shrugged six of his shoulders and began -mixing it.</p> - -<p>"Didn't you hear the latest?" the guy asked. "They're looking for room -for colonization and the Solar System attracts them."</p> - -<p>It was shortly after this that the fog rolled in, and it didn't roll -out again until the following morning when my manager gave me a -dealcoholizer.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He was hopping mad. And when I say hopping mad I mean just that since -Mari Nown, my manager, is a chicken-headed Mercurian <i>Bouncer</i>. A -nationalized citizen of Terra, of course, but a Mercurian with all -their characteristic excitability.</p> - -<p>When my head cleared, he was jumping up and down in front of me -and waving a sheet of newspaper he'd torn off the recorder on the -viziscreen.</p> - -<p>"Simmer down," I told him. "My head still aches, and besides, I can't -understand what you're yelling about." I added nastily, "In fact, I -can't understand how anything could happen that you'd yell about. All -you do is sit around and let ten percent of everything I make roll into -your pockets. You're probably the richest gladiator manager in the -system and—"</p> - -<p>He stopped hopping long enough to fix me with a beady eye. Finally -he became coherent. "And that's exactly what I want to remain!" he -shrilled. "You stupid <i>makron</i>, what're you trying to do, get yourself -killed?" He waved the news sheet again.</p> - -<p>I began to catch on to the fact that I must have done something the day -before while under the influence of—ugh, I couldn't even think of the -word without my stomach churning.</p> - -<p>"All right," I said. "What is it? I don't remember."</p> - -<p>He was prancing again. "You don't remember! I'll say you don't -remember! If you did, you'd be hiding under the bed."</p> - -<p>That got to me. I raised up indignantly. "Hiding under the bed? Me? I -don't have to hide from <i>anything</i>. I'm champ!"</p> - -<p>"That's pronounced <i>chump</i>," he whistled nastily. He tossed me the news -sheet.</p> - -<p>The headline read: <i>Interplanetary Champ says issues between Solar -System and Centaurus should be settled in the arena.</i></p> - -<p>"Did I say that?" I said interestedly. "When?"</p> - -<p>He was almost hopping again. "To that cub reporter in the Gladiator -Room, you stupid <i>makron</i>!"</p> - -<p>"Don't swear at me," I growled. "I didn't know he was a reporter. -Besides, what're you so excited about? Maybe it'd be a good idea."</p> - -<p>"Look at that next head," he shrilled.</p> - -<p>It read: <i>Centaurians accept challenge of Jak Dempsi.</i></p> - -<p>"Hey," I said, "that ought to be quite a fight. Who do you think we'll -have representing the Solar System? A <i>Slaber</i> from Jupiter would be a -good bet. He—"</p> - -<p>There he went again. He screamed, "Of course! Of course, a <i>Slaber</i> -would be best, <i>but you're the champion! A stupid idiot—but -champion!</i>"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I gaped at that, then let my eyes go down to the news account. He was -right. As champion, I was scheduled to meet the Centaurian gladiator. -On the outcome would depend the fate of the System.</p> - -<p>"Well," I said slowly. "Guess it makes sense at that. I <i>am</i> the best -gladiator in the System."</p> - -<p>He closed his little bird eyes in anguish.</p> - -<p>I added, "As a matter of fact, I could use the exercise. I haven't had -a meet in months." I eyed him accusingly. "What kind of a manager are -you? Here I am, Solar System Champ and you haven't got me a fight since -I won the Interplanetary Meet. The biggest drawing card in—"</p> - -<p>He'd got to the point where he was so mad he wasn't hopping any more. -Just breathing real deep.</p> - -<p>He said, "The reason you haven't had any meets since you became champ -is because I'd rather have a live champ making a good living endorsing -Callipso Snak-goat Cheese—and me getting ten percent—than I would -have a dead champ."</p> - -<p>"What'd'ya mean?" I scoffed. "Nobody gets killed in an exhibition -match." I flexed my muscles. "Besides, I can take care of myself up -against any earth-side gladiator after—"</p> - -<p>He glowered at me. "Anybody who killed the champ, by accident or -otherwise, in an exhibition match, would have a nice reputation for -himself. <i>You</i> might go into the arena with the idea of not killing -your opponent, but would <i>he</i>?"</p> - -<p>I shrugged uncomfortably. "I can take care of myself—"</p> - -<p>"Look," he shrilled, "let's go back over a little recent arena history. -Less than a year ago you were a second-rater fighting at the state -fairs. You went to Mars to watch the Interplanetary Meet which is held -once every decade to decide interplanetary affairs. The ship carrying -Terra's gladiators was lost in space and you were tossed in as an -emergency replacement."</p> - -<p>"Sure," I said. "The first time a Terran ever won an Interplanetary -Meet."</p> - -<p>He whistled disgustedly, "The first time a Terran ever lasted more than -five minutes."</p> - -<p>"Well?" I said proudly.</p> - -<p>He pointed a few fingers at me. "BY A FLUKE! By using a lot of ideas -you got from that quotation spouting girl friend of yours, you won by a -fluke! Among other things, you <i>played possum</i>, as you called it, under -a heap of corpses until all the others were either killed or wounded -and then got up and finished them off. The fans throughout the system -are still screaming about that."</p> - -<p>"Well, I'm still champ," I said truculently. "I licked them once, -and...."</p> - -<p>"Aw, shut up," he shrilled. He whirled about and started for the door. -"I'll see what I can do."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I didn't know what he meant by that, but I shrugged and rang for -my breakfast. The twinge of conscience I felt inside, I manfully -suppressed. I suppose that I really knew he was right, but I'd been -getting a good deal of ego-boo the past months and it was hard—almost -impossible, in fact—not to listen to it.</p> - -<p>By noon the dealcoholizer had completed its work and I felt more or -less normal. I suppose I should have been worrying about the bout with -the Centaurian, but I wasn't. Not particularly. I was worrying about -Suzi.</p> - -<p>Suzi worked for a chain of publications as a female sports reporter -covering the gladiator meets from the woman's angle. What she wanted -to do was write books about primitive culture, and for years that had -been the barrier between us. She couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't -particularly interested in the ancients and spent half the time we -had together in trying to fill me with the lore she thought the big -interest in life. She'd even given me my professional name, explaining -that the original Jak Dempsi was one of the outstanding gladiators in -ancient times.</p> - -<p>At any rate, I knew where she usually had her lunch and made my way -there, hoping to be able to patch things up. She'd promised to marry -me, after I'd won the championship for Earth, and if there was anything -I could do about it, I was going to see her hold to the engagement.</p> - -<p>The Interplanetary Viziscreen Service, the I.V.S., occupies a building -in Neuve Los Angeles nearly as large as Spacenter. Almost all of the -I.V.S. people eat in the Auto Cafe, and it was there I made my way.</p> - -<p>Soft music was playing as I entered and looked over the three acre -expanse of tables. Of course, I didn't have to check them all—Suzi -always sat in the sport section with perhaps a few hundred others.</p> - -<p>The soft pleasant dining music cut off abruptly and the autorch started -blaring out an earsplitting tune that brought back enough of my -headache to make me grimace.</p> - -<p>Several thousand heads came up and looked toward the entrance where I -stood. A movement started somewhere or other and before you knew it, -everybody in the place was standing on his feet and slapping his hands -like crazy.</p> - -<p>Everybody but two.</p> - -<p>I could spot them now. Suzi and Alger Wilde were sitting at a table in -the sport section. I made my way toward them.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Alger Wilde, I might as well explain here, is a <i>makron</i> from the -word <i>glorm</i>, if you'll pardon my language. He's been trying, in his -smirking way, to get in with Suzi for almost as many years as I have, -and until I won the championship was doing at least as well as I. His -strong point was the fact that he was even further around the corner -in regard to the ancients than was Suzi. They could sit and talk for -hours about the primitive comic books and other cultural matters that -the average person had no interest in whatsoever.</p> - -<p>I still didn't know what all the clapping was about, and I still didn't -like the raucous music, but I ignored it all and made my way toward -their table, rehearsing to myself what I was going to say to Suzi.</p> - -<p>When I got nearer, the two of them, self-consciously, also came to -their feet and both made with feeble applause to the extent of clapping -their hands together once or twice.</p> - -<p>I said, "What goes on here?"</p> - -<p>We all sat down—with me congratulating myself that Suzi didn't -object—and Suzi, her eyes shining, gushed, "Oh Jak, isn't it -wonderful?"</p> - -<p>I said, "I guess so. What?" I looked around the room in irritation. -"What's all the noise about? I can hardly hear ourselves talk."</p> - -<p>Alger Wilde said stiffly, "It's the new anthem, <i>The Solar System -Forever</i>. Very patriotic. It was just completed by a staff of more -than three hundred of the System's outstanding musicians. I understand -that it's being played on every viziscreen on nine planets and twenty -satellites. On order of the governments of all Solar System League -members, the musicians rushed it through."</p> - -<p>"It sounds like it," I growled. At least everybody had sat down again -and were eating their lunch.</p> - -<p>The stars were still in Suzi's eyes. She said softly, "It's dedicated -to you, Jak."</p> - -<p>"Huh?"</p> - -<p>Alger Wilde bit out, "Why'd you think everybody was clapping? You're -the hero of the System." He added, barely audibly, "They know not what -they do."</p> - -<p>It was beginning to dawn on me. My mind had been so full of Suzi that -I'd almost forgotten about the Centaurian fight.</p> - -<p>Suzi cast her eyes down to the table and said softly, "I'm sorry about -yesterday, Jak. When I heard about your heroic challenge I realized how -wrong I was."</p> - -<p>I scowled and said, "I didn't exactly challenge them, just suggested -that the whole thing ought to be settled in the arena. Maybe a <i>Slaber</i> -or a Saturnian gladiator, or—"</p> - -<p>Alger said, satisfaction oozing, "But you're the Champ, Jak."</p> - -<p>And Suzi gushed, "So you'll certainly have the honor. Oh, Jak, our -engagement will have to be postponed until after the fight."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was a gleam in Wilde's eye. He said, "And <i>after</i> the fight the -marriage can take place. Only the brave deserve the fair, and; to the -victor belongs the spoils, as the ancients used to say."</p> - -<p>I knew what he was thinking. If I was killed in the arena, he'd be back -in the running for Suzi. I growled, "What the <i>kert</i> do you mean by -that, Wilde?"</p> - -<p>Suzi placed her hands over her ears. "Please, Jak, your language."</p> - -<p>Alger Wilde said indignantly, "Yes, what the hell is the idea talking -that way before Suzi?"</p> - -<p>I said disgustedly, "I'll be a <i>makron</i>"—she covered her ears there, -too—"if I understand how you two figure. I say <i>kert</i> and you're -shocked. Five seconds later Wilde says <i>hell</i>, an ancient word meaning -practically the same thing, and it's all right."</p> - -<p>Wilde said indignantly, "It's an entirely different matter. <i>Hell</i> is -now a scholarly word, and quite acceptable. Of course, in ancient times -it wasn't and when a cultivated person wished to use a strong expletive -he said <i>Hades</i>, which was still a more ancient word meaning the same -thing. Using the scholarly expression made it all right."</p> - -<p>"I give up," I said and turned to Suzi. "Let's get out of here. I want -to talk to you."</p> - -<p>She said demurely, "Yes, dear."</p> - -<p>I grunted a goodbye to Wilde and arose. There was applause again and -the autorch started blaring <i>The Solar System Forever</i> as we left.</p> - -<p>"You could get awfully tired of music like that," I said.</p> - -<p>Suzi said, "Not me, Jak."</p> - -<p>The usually crowded street outside the I.V.S. Building was curiously -empty, but I didn't pay much attention. I was trying to figure out -some way of talking Suzi into marrying me before the fight, so it was -several minutes before I noticed what was out of whack.</p> - -<p>A hundred yards before us, a hundred yards behind us, and across the -street, were several scores of white uniformed officers, Solar League -police, clearing the pedestrians, and even vehicular traffic from our -way.</p> - -<p>I started to say, "What goes on here any—"</p> - -<p>But Suzi looked at me soulfully and said, "Your guard of honor, Jak. -There's been some talk that the Centaurians might try to get at you -before the meet."</p> - -<p>To quote one of Suzi's favorite primitive exclamations, <i>Oh, Brother</i>.</p> - -<p>"Look," I said. "I can't talk to you in front of all this. I feel like -a parade. Let's go into a theatre, take a box and have this out."</p> - -<p>Suzi wasn't disagreeing with anything today.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>We entered the theatre and made our way as quietly as possible toward a -sound-proof box where we could be alone.</p> - -<p>Suddenly, the three dimensional figures on the stage faded, the -lights went on and the autorch started blaring that confounded tune -again. Everyone in the theatre turned, spotted us and arose and began -whistling and clapping.</p> - -<p>I winced, but Suzi seemed to be in her glory. I hurried her along and -we entered the enclosed box where at least we couldn't hear them after -I'd turned off the sound device.</p> - -<p>Finally, the lights went out again. Instead of resuming the play, -however, we had a flash of the face of the President of Terra. He spoke -very seriously, very earnestly—and I had to sit through it after Suzi -had switched on the sound again. He pointed out at some length that we -all must maintain faith and calm and hold in our hearts the image of -the champion of the Solar System, our own Terran Gladiator, Jak Dempsi.</p> - -<p>The President's face faded and was replaced with a still of mine.</p> - -<p>The audience rose to a man, faced our box and applauded like crazy. I -had a sneaking suspicion that the show wasn't going to go on as long as -Suzi and I were there.</p> - -<p>I said, "Let's get out of here before that autorch—" but I was too -late. It started blaring <i>The Solar System Forever</i> before we reached -the door. Everybody was singing too, which made it worse. I hadn't -known before that it had words.</p> - -<p>Otherwise, it was a successful evening. Particularly after I convinced -the Solar System League officers that there was no need for around a -dozen of them to be stationed in my apartment. I told them that they -could patrol the corridors, my roof, and the street outside to their -hearts' content, but my apartment was out. The officer in charge took -another look at Suzi and evidently decided I was probably right—there -are things more important than personal safety.</p> - -<p>The rest of the evening was spent by Suzi proving that she still loved -me. She offered some excellent evidence. Anyway, it satisfied me....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I was awakened again the next morning by Mari Nown who, as he had the -morning before, was waving a sheet of newspaper before my eyes. This -could grow into a very unpleasant habit.</p> - -<p>But at least he wasn't hopping this time. In fact, he seemed quite -pleased with himself.</p> - -<p>I turned over on my other side and growled, "Go away, I was having a -beautiful dream about Suzi."</p> - -<p>He whistled happily, "I've done it for you, Jak. Everything'll be fine -now."</p> - -<p>"That's good," I began sleepily, but then I sat upright in bed, with -quick suspicion. "You've done what?" I grabbed the newspaper from his -hand. It read, <i>Champ's Manager reveals he has Venusian Elephantiasis</i>.</p> - -<p>I stared at it and then at him. "What in <i>kert</i> is Venusian -Elephantiasis, and where'd you get the idea I have it?"</p> - -<p>He shrilled proudly, "I had to do a lot of research. It's one of the -few diseases left in the system that's incurable. So rare, for one -thing."</p> - -<p>I was still half asleep. I shook my head.</p> - -<p>He said, "Don't you get it? You won't have to fight now. You can retire -from the arena, as undefeated champ, and make a top notch living for -the rest of your life endorsing—"</p> - -<p>I jumped out of the bed and dashed to the telo, but even before I could -reach it it glowed on and Suzi's face, cold as a winter day on Pluto, -was there.</p> - -<p>Her eyes seemed to focus about three feet beyond my head and she said, -"Jak Dempsi, you're a phony. A cheap, petty, <i>cowardly</i> phony. Venusian -Elephantiasis, indeed!" Her voice dripped scorn. "I never want to hear -from you again."</p> - -<p>"<i>Suzi</i>, wait a minute. I can explain," I yelled. "My manager—" But -the screen had died.</p> - -<p>I spun on him, but he wasn't at the side of the bed where I'd seen him -last. Instead he was over at the Viziscreen, the glee gone from his -chicken-like face, and anxiety beginning to become evident.</p> - -<p>He shrilled, "They can't do this to me. We're being robbed!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I started for him, my fingers stretched out like claws. Here was one -Mercurian <i>Bouncer</i> who was going to have his neck wrung, like the fowl -he resembled.</p> - -<p>Something in his attitude stopped me. I came up beside him and growled, -"What now, you <i>makron</i>?"</p> - -<p>He pointed at the news sheet which had recorded the item.</p> - -<p><i>Forty-three thousand Solar System scientists working on cure for -Venusian Elephantiasis.</i></p> - -<p>He shrilled despairingly, "They'll have you cured in days."</p> - -<p>I snorted, "Especially since I haven't got it in the first place. -Listen, what gave you the idea I wanted to get out of this fight, -anyway? I'm not afraid—"</p> - -<p>He started hopping at that. "<i>You're</i> not afraid! You're too stupid, -too conceited to be afraid. <i>I'm</i> afraid, understand? I'm your manager; -I know how good a gladiator you are, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid first -that you'll get killed and I'll lose the best thing I've ever had, but -even more than that I'm afraid that this Solar System isn't going to be -fit to live in after you lose this fight and the Centaurians take over."</p> - -<p>I growled truculently, "I can whip anybody in the Solar System and I -can whip—"</p> - -<p>He flung two of his wing-arms up in despair. "We have <i>Slabers</i>, we -have fast moving Spidermen, we have four armed Martians; but who do we -get to represent us in the most important gladiatorial fight in history? -A second-rate, inflated, balloon headed—"</p> - -<p>"Hey...." I protested indignantly.</p> - -<p>But he'd stopped of his own accord and clicked his heels in the -Mercurian version of snapping of fingers in sudden inspiration.</p> - -<p>"Look," he whistled. "If they can put forty-three thousand scientists -to work figuring out a way to cure a disease they think you have, why -can't they put ten times that number—a thousand times—to work on some -new weapons you can use against this Centaurian <i>makron</i>?"</p> - -<p>I scowled at him, not getting it. "You know better than that. In the -arena the only weapons allowed are primitive ones, swords, spears, -battle axes, boomerangs—"</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes," he shrilled excitedly, beginning to hop again. "But this -is different. They—the Centaurians—don't know that." He clicked his -heels together again. "It's the solution! We'll devise, in the next -month, some sure thing weapon. You can't lose!"</p> - -<p>But I was worried more about Suzi than about the fight. I growled at -him, "I don't need anything but my short sword. All I want to be sure -about is that I'm in that fight, see? If I'm not I'll never see—"</p> - -<p>But he was already darting for the door.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Well, within the week the scientists had "cured" me of the disease that -Mari Nown had dreamed up. I was scheduled for the fight again.</p> - -<p>But no word from Suzi. And no way of getting in touch with her. I tried -everything, but Suzi just wasn't having any of me.</p> - -<p>We started my training, and it became more or less of an Earth-wide -secret that the scientists were fixing me up with some secret weapons -which would guarantee the victory. Most of the sportswriters who came -to the training camp were tight lipped and disapproving about it—not -quite playing the game, you know—but the governmental big shots who -were trembling in their boots over the Centaurian threat, made it clear -that anything was going to go to insure Solar System victory. So the -reporters didn't print the stories they might have.</p> - -<p>Except for Suzi.</p> - -<p>Evidently the word got back to her about the weapons I was learning -to use, and she let loose at me in her column. Nothing that the -Centaurians would understand, of course, but the digs were there. She -made it pretty clear that Jak Dempsi was a phony and that only with the -use of unsportsmanlike weapons would he consent to go into the arena at -all.</p> - -<p>She had some nasty comebacks, because sentiment was running pretty high -throughout the League planets, and anybody saying a word against the -Champ was apt to find himself mobbed. They were frightened, understand? -The whole Solar System was frightened, and they couldn't bear the -thought that I was less than their saviour.</p> - -<p>But Suzi kept it up. She was the only sports reporter in the system who -dared point out what they were all probably feeling.</p> - -<p>The great trouble in the training was that we hadn't the vaguest idea -of what the Centaurians looked like. Their tremendous ship, several -times the size of the greatest of ours, hovered motionlessly over -Krishna-Krishna, the Venusian capitol city, but thus far not one of -them had been spotted. They communicated with us, blank-screened, and -we had nothing to go on to decide whether or not they were humanoid, or -even if they were air breathers, although the latter would seem likely -if they wished to colonize the Solar System since all our life forms -are based on oxygen.</p> - -<p>The only thing was to provide me with several weapons, one each for the -various different types of creature our Centaurians might be. In fact, -it was only by dint of argument that I was allowed to take my short -sword with me into the arena when the day finally arrived. The managers -who'd had my training in hand wanted to use the space and weight the -sword would take up to carry another half dozen atomic grenades.</p> - -<p>I growled at them. "Listen, if these grenades are going to work—and -how the <i>kert</i> they could possibly fail to work, I don't know—<i>one</i> of -them will do the job. I'll take my sword along if only for a good luck -charm; I've never been in an arena without it yet."</p> - -<p>And I added sarcastically, "This is going to be some fight, this is. I -feel like a murderer."</p> - -<p>I kept the sword.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Needless to say, the amphitheatre was packed. Tens of thousands must -have pauperized themselves for fare to Venus and for the highly priced -seats. But whatever the cost, the stands were packed beyond belief. -And, of course, throughout the system every man, woman and child, every -brim, mador and loet, every—but you get the idea. Every intelligent -living thing in the Solar System was glued to his viziscreen.</p> - -<p>And above the arena floated the Centaurian ship, silent, sinister.</p> - -<p>There were no preliminaries. That would have been too much.</p> - -<p>Instead, when the moment of conflict arrived, I came out into the -arena—staggered, might have been the better word. I had a burden of -weapons that was just about all I could carry.</p> - -<p>When the stands first saw me enter, they came to their feet and began a -cheer that should have echoed and reechoed—but didn't. It died almost -before it began. When they saw my equipment, the cheer faltered, then -died in shame.</p> - -<p>They realized, those citizens from all over the Solar System, what was -happening. The stakes were too high. The Solar System was trading honor -for security. Instead of being armed with the traditional sword or -spear, battleaxe or boomerang, I was laden with the most deadly devices -our scientists could develop.</p> - -<p>As I said, the cheers died almost before they began.</p> - -<p>Maybe I flushed a little. I don't know. But I tightened my jaw. At -least they didn't boo. Everyone in the stands knew the issue; however -he writhed in shame there must be no indication to the Centaurians that -we weren't playing the game, that we weren't living up to our own rules.</p> - -<p>I stood, my back to the judge's stand, and waited. To the left was the -sports box, and I could make out Suzi, even at that distance. Her face -was expressionless.</p> - -<p>A great helicopter suddenly and deftly detached itself from the -Centaurian ship and gracefully swooped down. It was beautifully -handled, settling to the opposite side of the arena as gently as a -butterfly.</p> - -<p>A large door in its side opened, the Centaurian emerged, and a gasp -from the stands went up; a gasp louder than the cheer that had -originally greeted me.</p> - -<p>Of all Solar System intelligent life forms, Jupiter's <i>Slaber</i> is by -far the largest, and, for that reason, that and its natural armor -shell, Jupiter had been winning the Interplanetary Meets two out of -three times for centuries.</p> - -<p>But this hulking brute made the <i>Slaber</i> seem a babe in arms. It -resembled somewhat a six legged turtle, roughly twice the size of a -Terran elephant. It had two lobster-like claws and four other limbs.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Evidently, it had decided to end the battle as quickly as possible, -because without either salute or warning it headed for me, the dust -churning up behind it as it came. Its legs were short but fantastically -fast. They seemed a blur of speed and before I had got over the -surprise of its appearance it was half way across the arena toward me.</p> - -<p>A shout, almost a moan, of warning went up from the stands, and -suddenly those citizens of the Solar System were no longer ashamed of -the weapons I carried, no longer contemptuous of my honor.</p> - -<p>I grasped my atomic grenade from its hook on my belt, dropped the -projectile thrower to the ground to give my arm free play, and threw.</p> - -<p>Half the total acreage of the arena went up in a gust of dirt, dust, -gravel and colored smoke. Seconds later I had been thrown prostrate -by the blast. Probably half the amphitheatre's occupants had been -similarly treated, and how many blast casualties might have been among -them, I couldn't know.</p> - -<p>But at least, I thought, the fight was over and I'd done the Solar -League's dirty work for it. I'd never be able to hold up my head again -in a circle of gladiators, but the System was safe.</p> - -<p>I came to my feet and turned to go.</p> - -<p>A shout, incredulous, unbelieving, arose from the stands, drowning out -the cries of those wounded by the blast of my grenade.</p> - -<p>I spun and stared.</p> - -<p>Crawling laboriously over the lip of the crater my grenade had caused -was the Centaurian. One of his many limbs seemed limp and useless, and -his shell was battered and begrimed, but he was still alive, and not -too much the worse for wear.</p> - -<p>When it got to level ground again it seemed to pause momentarily, -seeking me out.</p> - -<p>I grabbed up the heavy submachine gat—as Suzi tells me they called -them in the old days—and threw it to my shoulder. The projectiles it -threw were only half an inch in diameter but each of them packed a -charge of atomic explosive.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I trained it and held the trigger down. The two hundred round drum was -exhausted in less than a half minute, and the sound of the projectiles -exploding against the shell of my foe was ear shocking in intensity. -Once again, a cloud of smoke and dust enveloped the Centaurian. And -only after the last cartridge had been expended and the submachine -gat now useless, was the sigh of relief that went up over the stands -audible.</p> - -<p>But through the smoke, of a sudden, charged the six legged Centaurian -and my eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. He was seemingly not -further injured.</p> - -<p>I dodged quickly to one side, stumbling over the gat I'd thrown away, -thinking the fight over, and it uselessly empty. It was only the -stumbling that saved me. I rolled to the side and it was past me and -spinning about for another attack.</p> - -<p>The Centaurian growled in a thunderous voice, "And now the fight -begins, Terran <i>makron</i>." Its bulk evidently was no indication of -a lack of intelligence. It had already not only learned to speak -Amer-English, but could swear in our language.</p> - -<p>I had one more major weapon in my deadly arsenal. I whipped the -blunderbuss-nosed, pistol-like device from my belt and trained it. -Even though shielded with my especially designed ear plugs, the -subsonic sounds flowed over me, enveloped me, terrified me. What it was -doing to the enemy I could only guess.</p> - -<p>Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it of the desperate, soul -shaking fears brought on by the subsonic vibrator, I stared in the -direction of the Centaurian.</p> - -<p>He seemed to be watching me, questioningly. And suddenly I understood -that he was waiting for the weapon to work! He wanted to see what it -was going to do.</p> - -<p><i>It wasn't doing anything!</i></p> - -<p>A quarter of a mile away, on the other side of the amphitheatre, and -supposedly out of range, spectators were fainting in droves, literally -thousands of them screaming or keeling over. But a few yards before me -he stood unimpressed.</p> - -<p>I swore and threw the thing down, ripped off the rest of the belts and -equipment they'd foisted upon me and reached for my sword.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>It dashed forward, extending a tentacle from its body that formerly I'd -been unaware of. I swung desperately and the sword clanged against the -limb. I darted backward, noticing a large dent in the cutting edge.</p> - -<p>Like a flash one of the lobster claws snapped out at me, nipping a cut -in my left side, just below the ribs. Had it been another six inches -over, I would have been cut in half.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I dashed to one side and it rushed past, stirring up a breeze as it -went. How such a large creature could get up momentum so rapidly was a -mystery to me.</p> - -<p>I grated out one of Suzi's slogans to give myself courage. <i>The bigger -they are, the harder they fall.</i> And then it came to me that the -trouble was that if they're big enough perhaps they don't get around to -falling at all.</p> - -<p>It was about and after me again.</p> - -<p>I stood in its path, sword in hand, waiting. A massive groan went up -from the stands.</p> - -<p>Just before it reached me, I darted forward, crouched low, and dashed -under its belly. Here, if anywhere, was the soft spot. As I ran, I -thrust desperately upward with all my strength, then I was suddenly -completely under and beyond it.</p> - -<p>I spun around and stood there panting and staring at the end of my -broken pointed sword.</p> - -<p>It turned too, as though looking to find my trampled body, and -surprised that I'd survived. It was about thirty feet away, and -seemingly resting.</p> - -<p>Suddenly from its mouth gushed forth a stream of flame, reaching out -for me.</p> - -<p>It was only by the merest chance that my grenade-made crater was -immediately behind me. I tripped again and fell backward, and the sheet -of flame passed over me.</p> - -<p>A sigh went up from the stands.</p> - -<p>Suddenly, over the ridge it came tearing. Hoping, evidently, to catch -me before I recovered from my fall.</p> - -<p>It had miscalculated and passed a good six feet to my right. I sprung -to my feet and dashed over in time to deal its tail a smashing -blow—and to accumulate another dent in my blade.</p> - -<p>At this pace, my strength was rapidly giving out, and his seemed as -great as ever—but I was still quicker in that my size and build -enabled me to turn, spin, dodge, more effectively.</p> - -<p>He tried twice more to get me with his flaming breath, and both times I -was able to avoid it by inches. Or nearly so, at least. I kept my life, -though hair and clothes were singed.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I had worked my way, involuntarily toward the press boxes, and took -time to shoot up a desperate glance in Suzi's direction. Her face had -lost its coldness now; her lips were parted in fear.</p> - -<p>Almost, I was able to smile. Suzi knew the signs—as did all the -rest of the reporters—she'd seen too many meets not to know when a -gladiator was using his last iota of strength and was on the verge of -collapse. She knew—possibly even better than I—how long I could keep -up this pace. And then—</p> - -<p>Seeing her, recalled her way of finding a slogan, a quotation of the -ancients, for almost every situation that arose.</p> - -<p>And in the recalling one came to me!</p> - -<p><i>Meet fire with fire.</i></p> - -<p>The Centaurian was emerging from the crater where its most recent -charge had taken it. I ran with what speed I could muster to the -Judges' stand and grasped one of the sacred Venusian torches that -flanked the Judges' bench. I turned then and sped toward the enemy in -hopes of getting him as he climbed over the crater edge.</p> - -<p>He saw me coming and tried ineffectively to scorch me with his flaming -breath, but he was either growing weak, or had utilized all the fuel -his body produced for the effort. The flame leaped out a mere six or -eight feet.</p> - -<p>Holding the torch in hand, I dashed straight at him. As I had hoped, -one of the lobster claws darted at me. I leaped nimbly to one side, -bounced up upon the claw and scampered up it toward the four glaring -eyes. I thrust the torch out and into them, hearing as though from a -great distance, the cheer of victory that went up from the stands.</p> - -<p>Then sliding, falling, tumbling, I was on the ground again and hurrying -as fast as possible from what I expected to be the painful, blinded -throes of the thing.</p> - -<p>I turned and stared. It stood there, watching me. Showing no signs of -distress.</p> - -<p>It rumbled, finally, angrily, "You can't fool me all of the time, -Terran. Soon you will tire, then I will get you—"</p> - -<p>Suzi's books came back to me again. What was it I was trying to -remember? I stood there panting, realizing the ridiculousness of -standing exhausted in the middle of the arena and remembering odds and -ends that Suzi had told me about the ancients.</p> - -<p>And then, just as the Centaurian headed for me again, it clicked.</p> - -<p>A silence had settled down over the crowd. Arena wise, through years -of watching gladiatorial events, they knew my knees were sagging, my -reflexes slowed, my muscles screaming protest.</p> - -<p>I stood there, sword in hand, directly in its path—waiting. It had -said, "You can't fool me all of the time, Terran."</p> - -<p>And that's what had clicked.</p> - -<p><i>You can fool some of the people some of the time....</i></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Praying that I had strength enough left for this, I waited until it -was nearly upon me, its lobster claws out-thrust, its six heavy feet -pounding. Then I jumped, to one side, back again. I bounded high to the -knee joint of the second limb on the left, as the Centaurian skidded -to a halt. A second scrambling leap and I was on its back. Half on my -feet, half on my hands, I scampered forward toward its head, even as -several tentacles made their way gropingly toward me.</p> - -<p>No, I wasn't looking for a soft spot for my now dull sword. I knew -there wouldn't be any.</p> - -<p>The tentacles were reaching, almost touching me, but I ignored them. I -found the tiny door right behind its massive head. I was right! I found -the lock and sprung it.</p> - -<p>The door swung open and inside the tiny, leaded shielded compartment -the little creature occupying it looked up at me fearfully.</p> - -<p>I grasped it by the scruff of the neck and hoisted it out of its seat. -The "Centaurian Gladiator" had stopped completely now.</p> - -<p>I dropped to the ground and tossed the thing before me. It was about -the size of, and looked considerably like a small Terran pig. It was -pink, fat, and, as Suzi said later, cute. Right now I didn't appreciate -its cuteness.</p> - -<p>"Please," it squealed, "don't touch me. I can't bear being hurt!"</p> - -<p>I kicked it where its hams would have been had it really been a pig. -It squealed again and started out, hampered in its speed by its fat, -running across the arena with me after it, giving it <i>kert</i> with the -toe of my boot.</p> - -<p>It dashed for the helicopter and I gave it one last kick as it -scampered for the craft's door so that it flew the last four feet. In -the background I could hear the crowd roaring like thunder.</p> - -<p>In seconds, the helicopter had taken off and returned to the spaceship -above. It was swallowed up and the Centaurian ship blasted off and -away. Evidently, it wasn't waiting to see what the Solar System fleet -would do when the farce was made known.</p> - -<p>I turned, and for a moment stared at the robot the Centaurian had -occupied. Then my injuries and fatigue caught up with me. The fog -rolled in and I slumped to the arena sands.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I explained later in the hospital room to the diplomats, the I.V.S. -reporters, and the others. And I made the explanation as short as -possible.</p> - -<p>In the first place, how could a thing that big and awkward have handled -the helicopter so gracefully? How could <i>any</i> organic creature survive -the explosion of an atomic grenade? How could it breath fire? How could -it stand a burning torch being thrust into its eyes?</p> - -<p>But it was the quotation that had brought it all home to me. I suddenly -realized I was being fooled—and another of Suzi's quotations came -to mind. <i>This is a horse of another color.</i> Then it clicked in its -entirety.</p> - -<p><i>The Trojan Horse</i>, I had thought, something is inside. It's a robot, a -mechanical fighting machine, like the tanks of old.</p> - -<p>Suddenly the diplomats and the reporters were gone and Suzi was there, -the star dust in her eyes again.</p> - -<p>Before she could speak, I told her, humbly, "You were right, Suzi, I am -a phony. I'm no champ. I was scared to death out there, when I found -that all the super-weapons they'd made for me were—"</p> - -<p>"But, <i>darling</i>, you won!" She knelt beside the bed, but I turned my -head away.</p> - -<p>"Won," I said bitterly. "Sure, by a fluke again. I won against a little -half pint that could have been defeated by a child." I snorted in -self-deprecation. "I wonder what the crowd out there is thinking. I -enter the arena with enough weapons to depopulate a small planet, and -it takes me half an hour to find out it's all a hoax."</p> - -<p>She remained kneeling there, but it was another voice that said, "The -crowd doesn't see it that way, Jak." It was Alger Wilde, who had -entered with my manager.</p> - -<p>"Of course not," Suzi insisted. "You didn't know what you were against, -but you were in there all the time, taking on something worse than any -gladiator in the System.—You proved yourself, Jak."</p> - -<p>Alger went to the window and opened it. "Listen to this," he said -grudgingly. From the distance I could hear the arena crowd singing <i>The -Solar System Forever</i>.</p> - -<p>Even Mari Nown was happy. It seemed as though the judges unanimously -voted to make me Interplanetary Champ for the rest of my life. The -situation was obvious. Terra couldn't afford to let anything happen to -me now. As soon as I died, the next Interplanetary Meet would result in -a new champ and a new change in the balance of power. Terra wouldn't -allow me to fight—not even in exhibitions.</p> - -<p>Mari Nown's chicken head beamed as he bounced back and forth on his -heels. "You're going to live to a ripe old age," he shrilled happily, -"and the most dangerous thing you'll ever do is sign endorsements for -Venusian Salt Water Taffy." He added, more happily still, "And I'll get -ten percent of everything you make."</p> - -<p>"Everything but Suzi," I told him, sticking out an arm to encircle her.</p> - -<p>Alger Wilde frowned. "You know, Jak," he grunted, "I think you're right -about that music. <i>The Solar System Forever</i> is a raucous thing."</p> - -<p>It was welling, ever louder, through the window.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I don't know," I said as soon as I took my lips from Suzi's. 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