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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #65934 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65934)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of For love of life; vol. 1 of 2, by Mrs.
-Margaret Oliphant
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: For love of life; vol. 1 of 2
-
-Author: Mrs. Margaret Oliphant
-
-Release Date: July 28, 2021 [eBook #65934]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
- http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
- available at The Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOR LOVE OF LIFE; VOL. 1 OF 2 ***
-
-
-
-
- COLLECTION
-
- OF
-
- BRITISH AUTHORS
-
- TAUCHNITZ EDITION.
-
- VOL. 1419.
-
- FOR LOVE AND LIFE BY MRS. OLIPHANT.
-
- IN TWO VOLUMES.
-
- VOL. I.
-
-“The device on his shield was a young oak tree pulled up by the roots,
- with the Spanish word _Desdichado_, signifying Disinherited.”
-
-
-
-
- FOR LOVE AND LIFE.
-
- BY
-
- MRS. OLIPHANT,
-
- AUTHOR OF
- “CHRONICLES OF CARLINGFORD,” “OMBRA,” “MAY,” ETC.
-
- _COPYRIGHT EDITION._
-
- IN TWO VOLUMES.
-
- VOL. I.
-
-
- LEIPZIG
- BERNHARD TAUCHNITZ
- 1874.
-
- _The Right of Translation is reserved._
-
-
-
-
- FOR LOVE AND LIFE.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-On the Shores of Loch Arroch.
-
-
-Three people were walking slowly along together by the side of the
-water. One of them an invalid, as was apparent by the softly measured
-steps of her companions, subdued to keep in harmony with hers. These two
-attendants were both young; the girl about twenty, a little light
-creature, with the golden hair so frequent in Scotland, and a face of
-the angelic kind, half-childish, half-visionary, over-brimming with
-meaning, or almost entirely destitute of it, according to the eyes with
-which you happened to regard her. Both she and the invalid, a handsome
-old woman of about seventy, were well and becomingly dressed in a homely
-way, but they had none of the subtle traces about them which mark the
-“lady” in conventional parlance. They were not in the smallest degree
-what people call “common-looking.” The girl’s beauty and natural grace
-would have distinguished her anywhere, and the old lady was even
-dignified in her bearing. But yet it was plain that they were of a caste
-not the highest. They moved along the narrow path, skirting the
-newly-cut stubble, with the air of people entirely at home, amid their
-natural surroundings. The homely farm-house within sight was evidently
-their home. They belonged to the place and the place to them.
-Notwithstanding the angelic face of the one, and the natural stateliness
-of the other, they were farmer folk, of a kind not unusual on that proud
-half-Highland soil. I will not even pretend to say that good blood gave
-a grace to their decayed fortunes; I do not believe their race had ever
-held a more exalted position than it did now. They were independent as
-queens, proud yet open-hearted, sociable, courteous, hospitable,
-possessed of many of the special virtues which ought to belong to the
-nobly born; but they were only farmer folk of Loch Arroch, of a family
-who had lived for ages on that farm, and nothing more.
-
-It would have been unnecessary to dwell on this particular, had not the
-appearance of the young man upon whose arm the invalid leant, been so
-different. As distinctly as they were native to the place, and to the
-position, was he stranger to them. He was not so handsome by nature as
-they, but he had about him all those signs of a man “in good society”
-which it is impossible to define in words, or to mistake in fact. His
-dress was extremely simple, but it was unmistakeably that of a
-gentleman. Not the slightest atom of pretension was in his aspect or
-manner, but his very simplicity was his distinction. The deferential way
-in which he bent his head to hear what his companion was saying, the
-respect he showed to them both, was more than a son or brother in their
-own rank would ever have dreamed of showing. He was kind in all his
-words and looks, even tender; but the ease of familiarity was wanting to
-him; he was in a sphere different from his own. He showed this only by a
-respect infinitely more humble and anxious than any farmer-youth or
-homely young squire would have felt; yet to his own fastidious taste it
-was apparent that he did show it; and the thought made him condemn
-himself. His presence introduced confusion and difficulty into the
-tranquil picture; though there was nothing of the agitation of a lover
-in his aspect. Love makes all things easy; it is agitating, but it is
-tranquillizing. Had he been the lover of the beautiful young creature by
-his side, he would have been set at his ease with her old mother, and
-with the conditions of her lot. Love is itself so novel, so
-revolutionary, such a break-down of all boundaries, that it accepts with
-a certain zest the differences of condition; and all the embarrassments
-of social difference such as trouble the acquaintance, and drive the
-married man wild, become in the intermediate stage of courtship
-delightful auxiliaries, which he embraces with all his heart. But Edgar
-Earnshaw was not pretty Jeanie Murray’s lover. He had a dutiful
-affection for both of the women. Mingled with this was a certain
-reverential respect, mingled with a curious painful sense of wrong, for
-the elder; and a pitying and protecting anxiety about the girl. But
-these sentiments were not love. Therefore he was kind, tender,
-respectful, almost devoted, but not at his ease, never one with them;
-in heart as in appearance, there was a difference such as could not be
-put into words.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“I cannot accept it from you,” said old Mrs. Murray, who was the
-grandmother of both. She spoke with a little vehemence, with a
-glimmering of tears in the worn old eyes, which were still so bright and
-full of vital force. She was recovering from an illness, and thus the
-tears came more easily than usual. “Of all that call kin with me, Edgar,
-my bonnie lad, you are the last that should sacrifice your living to
-keep up my auld and weary life. I canna do it. It’s pride, nothing but
-pride, that makes me loth to go away--loth, loth to eat other folk’s
-bread. But wherefore should I be proud? What should an old woman like me
-desire better than a chair at my ain daughter’s chimney-corner, and a
-share of what she has, poor woman? I say to myself it’s her man’s bread
-I will eat, and no hers; but Robert Campbell will be kind--enough. He’ll
-no grudge me my morsel. When a woman has been a man’s faithful wife for
-thirty years, surely, surely she has a right to the gear she has helped
-to make. And I’ll no be that useless when I’m weel; there’s many a thing
-about a house that an old woman can do. Na, na, it’s nothing but pride.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“And what if I had my pride too?” he asked. “My dear old mother, it goes
-against me to think of you as anywhere but at Loch Arroch. Mr. Campbell
-is an excellent man, I have no doubt, and kind--enough, as you say; and
-his wife very good and excellent--”
-
-“You might say your aunt, Edgar,” said the old lady, with a
-half-reproach.
-
-He winced, though almost imperceptibly.
-
-“Well,” he said with a smile, “my aunt, if you prefer it. One thing I
-don’t like about you proud people is, that you never make allowance for
-other people’s pride. Mine demands that my old mother should be
-independent in her own old house; that she should have her pet companion
-with her to nurse her and care for her.” Here he laid his hand kindly,
-with a light momentary touch, upon the girl’s shoulder, who looked up at
-him with wistful tender eyes. “That she should keep her old servants,
-and continue to be the noble old lady she is--”
-
-“Na, na, Edgar; no lady. You must not use such a word to me. No, my
-bonnie man; you must not deceive yourself. It’s hard, hard upon you, and
-God forgive me for all I have done to make my good lad unhappy! We are
-decent folk, Edgar, from father to son, from mother to daughter; but I’m
-no a lady; an old country wife, nothing more--though you are a
-gentleman.”
-
-“We will not dispute about words,” said Edgar, with a shrug of his
-shoulders. “What would become of Jeanie, grandmother, if you went to
-your daughter, as you say?”
-
-“Ah!” cried the old woman, pausing suddenly, and raising both her hands
-to her face, “that’s what I canna bear--I canna bear it! Though I
-must,” she added hurriedly, drying her eyes, “if it’s God’s will.”
-
-“I would go to my uncle in Glasgow,” said Jeanie; “he’s not an ill man.
-They would take me in if I was destitute; that’s what they aye said.”
-
-“If you were destitute!” cried Edgar. “My poor little Jeanie destitute,
-and you, my old mother, eating the bread of dependence, watching a
-coarse man’s look to see if you are welcome or not! Impossible! I have
-arranged everything. There is enough to keep you both comfortable
-here--not luxuriously, as I should wish; not with the comfort and the
-prettiness I should like to spread round you two; but yet enough. Now
-listen, grandmother. You must yield to me or to some one else; to me or
-to--Mr. Campbell. I think I have the best right.”
-
-“He has the best right,” said little Jeanie, looking in her
-grandmother’s face. “Oh, granny, he would like to be good to you and
-me!”
-
-“Yes; I should like to be good to you,” said Edgar, turning to the girl
-gratefully. “That is the truth. It is the highest pleasure you could
-give me.”
-
-“To heap coals of fire,” said the old woman in her deep voice.
-
-“I know nothing about coals,” said Edgar, laughing; “they should be more
-in Mr. Campbell’s way, who trafficks in them. Come, Jeanie, we must take
-her in, the wind grows cold. I shall go off to Loch Arroch Head to get
-the newspaper when the boat comes, and you must persuade her in the
-meantime. You are my representative. I leave it all to you.”
-
-A flush ran over Jeanie’s angelic little countenance. She looked at him
-with eyes full of an adoring admiration as he led the old woman
-carefully to the door of the farm-house. He patted her pretty shoulder
-as she followed, looking kindly at her.
-
-“Take care of the old mother, Jeanie,” he said, smiling. “I make you my
-representative.”
-
-Poor little innocent Jeanie! There was no one like him in all her
-sphere. She knew no other who spoke so softly, who looked so kindly, who
-was so thoughtful of others, so little occupied with himself. Her little
-heart swelled as she went into the low, quaint room with its small
-windows, where the grandmother had already seated herself. To be the
-parlour of a farm-house, it was a pretty room. The walls were greenish;
-the light that came in through foliage which overshadowed the small
-panes in the small windows was greenish too; but there were book-cases
-in the corners, and books upon the table, for use, not ornament, and an
-air of wellworn comfort and old respectability were about the place. It
-was curiously irregular in form; two windows in the front looked out
-upon the loch and the mountains, a prospect which a prince might have
-envied; and one on the opposite side of the fire-place, in the gable end
-of the house, in a deep recess, looked straight into the ivied walls of
-the ruin which furnished so many stories to Loch Arroch. This window was
-almost blocked up by a vast fuchsia, which still waved its long flexile
-branches in the air laden with crimson bells. In front of the house
-stood a great ash, dear northern tree which does not disdain the rains
-and winds. Its sweeping boughs stood out against the huge hill opposite,
-which was the background of the whole landscape. The blue water gleamed
-and shone beneath that natural canopy. Mrs. Murray’s large high-backed
-easy-chair was placed by the side of the fire, so that she had full
-command of the view. The gable window with its fuchsia bush was behind
-her. Never, except for a few months, during her whole seventy years of
-life, had she been out of sight of that hill. She seated herself in the
-stillness of age, and looked out wistfully upon the familiar scene. Day
-by day through all her lifetime, across her own homely table with its
-crimson cover, across the book she was reading or the stocking she was
-knitting, under the green arch of the ash-branches, she had seen the
-water break, sometimes with foaming wrath, sometimes quietly as a summer
-brook, upon the huge foot of that giant hill. Was this now to be over?
-The noiseless tears of old age came into her eyes.
-
-“We’ll aye have the sky, Jeanie, wherever we go,” she said, softly; “and
-before long, before long, the gates of gold will have to open for me.”
-
-“But no for me,” said Jeanie, seating herself on a stool by her
-grandmother’s side. The little girlish face was flashing and shining
-with some illumination more subtle than that of the firelight. “We canna
-die when we will, Granny, you’ve often said that; and sometimes,” the
-girl added shyly, “we might not wish if we would.”
-
-This brought the old woman back from her momentary reverie.
-
-“God forbid!” she cried, putting her hand on Jeanie’s golden locks;
-“though Heaven will scarce be Heaven without you, Jeanie. God forbid!
-No, my bonnie lamb, I have plenty there without you. There’s your
-father, and _his_ mother, and my ain little angel Jeanie with the gold
-locks like you ---- her that I have told you of so often. She was younger
-than you are, just beginning to be a blessing and a comfort, when, you
-mind?--oh, so often as I have told you!--on the Saturday after the new
-year--”
-
-“I mind,” said Jeanie softly, holding the withered hand in both of hers;
-“but, granny, even you, though you’re old, you cannot make sure that
-you’ll die when you want to die.”
-
-“No; more’s the pity; though it’s a thankless thing--a thankless thing
-to say.”
-
-“You canna die when you will,” repeated Jeanie. “Wasna your father
-ninety, granny, and Aunty Jean a hundred? Granny, listen to me. You must
-do what _he_ says.”
-
-“_He_, Jeanie?”
-
-“Ay, he. I might say his name if there were two like him in the world,”
-said Jeanie, with enthusiasm. “It’s your pride that will not let him
-serve you as he says. It would make him happy. I saw it in his kind
-e’en. I was watching him while he was speaking to you. It was like the
-light and the shadows over Benvohrlan. The brightness glinted up when
-he spoke, and when you said ‘No,’ granny, the cloud came over. Oh, how
-could you set your face against him? The only one of us a’ (you say) you
-ever did an ill turn to; and him the only one to bring you back good,
-and comfort, and succour.”
-
-“Jeanie, you must not blame the rest,” said the old woman. “They have no
-siller to give me. They would take me into their houses. What more could
-they do? No, Jeanie; you may be just to him, and yet no cruel to them.
-Besides, poor lad,” said Mrs. Murray with a sigh, “he has a rich man’s
-ways, though he’s rich no more.”
-
-“He has the kindest ways in all the world,” cried Jeanie. “Granny,
-you’ll do what he says.”
-
-The old woman leant back in her chair, crossing her thin hands in her
-lap; her musing eyes sought the hills outside and the gleam of the
-water, her old, old counsellors, not the anxious face of the child at
-her feet. She was but a farmer’s wife, a farmer herself, a lowly, homely
-woman; but many a princess was less proud. She sat and looked at the
-blue loch, and thought of the long succession of years in which she had
-reigned as a queen in this humble house, a centre of beneficence, giving
-to all. She had never shut her heart against the cry of the poor, she
-who was poor herself; she had brought up children, she had entertained
-strangers, she had done all that reigning princesses could do. For forty
-years all who had any claim on her kindness had come to her
-unhesitatingly in every strait. Silver and gold she had little, but
-everything else she gave, the shelter of her house, her best efforts,
-her ready counsel, her unfailing help. All this she had bestowed
-munificently in her day; and now--had she come to the point when she
-must confess that her day was over, when she must retire from her place,
-giving way to others, and become dependent--she who had always been the
-head of her house? I do not say that the feelings in the mind of this
-old Sovereign about to be dethroned were entirely without admixture of
-ignoble sentiment. It went to her heart to be dethroned. She said to
-herself, with a proud attempt at philosophy, that it was the natural
-fate, and that everything was as it ought to be. She tried to persuade
-herself that a chair in the chimney-corner was all the world had
-henceforth for her, and that her daughter and her daughter’s husband
-would be kind--enough. But it went to her heart. She was making up her
-mind to it as men make up their minds to martyrdom; and the effort was
-bitter. I do not know whether it ever occurred to her painfully that she
-herself, had she been in the fulness of her powers, would never have
-suffered her old mother to be driven from that homely roof which she
-loved--or if something whispered in her soul that she had done better by
-her children than they were doing by her; but if such thoughts arose in
-her mind, she dismissed them unembodied, with an exercise of her will,
-which was as proud as it was strong. Her very pride prevented her from
-assuming even to herself the appearance of a victim. “It is but the
-natural end,” she said, stoically, trying to look her trouble in the
-face. She was ready to accept it as the inevitable, rather than own to
-herself that her children failed in their duty--rather than feel, much
-less admit, that she had expected more of them than they were willing to
-give.
-
-The cause of this deep but undisclosed pain was, that things had been
-going badly for some time with the Castle Farm. Mrs. Murray herself was
-growing old, and less strong than is necessary for a farmer, and she had
-been absent for some time, a few years before, an absence which had
-wrought much trouble in the homestead. These misfortunes had been
-complicated, as was inevitable, by one or two cold springs and wet
-autumns. It was October now, and the harvest was but accomplishing
-itself slowly even on the level fields on the loch side. The higher
-lying acres of corn land still lay in sickly yellow patches on the braes
-behind the house, half-ripened, damp and sprouting, sodden with many a
-rain-storm; a great part of the corn would be fit for nothing but
-fodder, and what remained for the woman-farmer, unable to cope with
-these difficulties as she once had done, before strength and courage
-failed--what remained for her to do? She had made up her mind to abandon
-the old house she loved--to sell all her belongings, the soft-eyed cows
-whom she called by their names, and who came at her call like
-children--and the standing crops, the farm implements, even her old
-furniture, to denude herself of everything, and pay her debts, and
-commit the end of her life to Providence. This had been the state of
-affairs when she fell ill, and Edgar Earnshaw was summoned to come to
-her, to receive her blessing and farewell. But then, in contradiction to
-all her wishes, to all that was seemly and becoming, she did not die.
-When she knew she was to get better, the old woman broke forth into
-complainings such as had never been heard from her lips in her worst
-moments. “To lead me forth so far on the way, and then to send me back
-when the worst was over--me that must make the journey so soon, that
-must begin all over again, maybe the morn!” she cried, with bitter tears
-in her eyes. But Heaven’s decree is inexorable, whether it be for life
-or death, and she had to consent to recover. It was then that Edgar, her
-grandson, had made the proposal to settle upon her a little income which
-he possessed, and which would secure her a peaceful end to her days in
-her old home. That he should do this had filled her with poignant
-emotions of joy and shame. The only one of her kith and kin whom she had
-wronged, and he was the one to make her this amends. If she accepted it,
-she would retain all that she desired--everything that was personally
-important to her in this life. But she would denude him of his living.
-He was young, learned (as she thought), accomplished (as she thought),
-able “to put his hand to anything,” doubtless able to earn a great deal
-more than that, did he choose to try. It might even be for his
-advantage, as he said, to have the spur of necessity to force him into
-exertion. All this was mingled together in her mind, the noble and
-generous feeling that would rather suffer than harm another, rather die
-than blame, mixed with sharp stings of pride and some sophistries of
-argument by which she tried to persuade herself against her conscience
-to do what she wished. The struggle was going on hotly, as she sat by
-her homely fireside and gazed out at the loch, and the shadow of the big
-ash, which seemed to shadow over all Benvohrlan; things which are close
-at hand are so much bigger and more imposing than things afar.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-Edgar.
-
-
-Edgar set off on a brisk walk up the loch when he parted from the two
-women at the door of the farmhouse. The previous history of this young
-man had been an extraordinary one, and has had its record elsewhere; but
-as it is not to be expected that any--even the gentlest reader--could
-remember a story told them several years ago, I will briefly
-recapitulate its chief incidents. Till he was five-and-twenty, this
-young man had known himself only as the heir of a great estate, and of
-an old and honourable name, and for some few months he had been in
-actual possession of all the honours he believed his own. He was a great
-English squire, one of the most important men in his district, with an
-only sister, to whom he was deeply attached, and no drawback in his life
-except the mysterious fact, which no longer affected him except as a
-painful recollection, that his father, during his lifetime, had banished
-him from his home, and apparently regarded him with a sentiment more
-like hatred than affection. But Clare his sister loved him, and Edgar,
-on coming to his fortune, had begun to form friendships and attachments
-of his own, and had been drawn gently and pleasantly--not fallen wildly
-and vehemently--into love with the daughter of one of his near
-neighbours, Augusta (better known as Gussy) Thornleigh, whom he was on
-the very eve of asking to be his wife, when his whole existence, name,
-and identity were suddenly altered by the discovery that he was an
-innocent impostor, and had no right to any of the good things he
-enjoyed. I do not attempt to repeat any description of the change thus
-made, for it was beyond description--terrible, complete, and
-overwhelming. It plunged him out of wealth and honours into indigence
-and shame--shame not merited, but yet clinging to the victim of a
-long-continued deception. It not only took from him all his hopes, but
-it embittered his very recollections. He lost past, and present, and
-future, all at a blow. His identity, and all the outward apparel of life
-by which he had known himself, were taken from him. Not only was the
-girl whom he loved hopelessly lost to him, but she who had been his
-sister, his only relative, as he supposed, and his dearest companion,
-became nothing to him--a stranger, and worse than a stranger--for the
-man whom she loved and married was his enemy. And in place of these
-familiar figures, there came a crowd of shadows round him who were his
-real relations, his unknown family, to whom, and not to the Ardens, he
-now belonged. This fatal and wonderful change was made all the harder to
-him from the fact that he was thus transplanted into an altogether lower
-level, and that his new family was little elevated above the class from
-which he had been in the habit of drawing his servants, not his
-friends. Their habits, their modes of speech, their ways of thinking,
-were all strange to him. It is true that he accommodated himself readily
-to these differences, as exhibited in the old grandmother whom I have
-just presented to the reader, and the gentle, soft-voiced, poetic
-Jeanie; but with the other members of his new family, poor Edgar had
-felt all his powers of self-control fail him. Their presence, their
-contact, their familiarity, and the undeniable fact that it was to them
-and their sphere that he actually belonged was terrible to the young
-man, who, in his better days, had not known what pride meant. Life is in
-reality so much the same in all classes that no doubt he would have come
-to perceive the identity of substance notwithstanding the difference of
-form, had he not been cast so suddenly into this other phase of
-existence without preparation, without anything to break the fall; but
-as it was, he had no preparation, and the blow went to his heart.
-
-This fall had taken place nearly three years before the time at which
-this story opens, and poor Edgar, stunned by his overthrow, repelled by
-his new relatives, vaguely wretched, notwithstanding the stoutness of
-heart with which he had braced himself to meet calamity, had done but
-little with his life for these two years. A small provision had been
-secured for him from his successor in the estates of Arden, the rightful
-heir whom he had unwittingly wronged, and to whom he did instant justice
-as soon as he heard of the wrong; and this little provision had been
-augmented by the small property of the Rector of Arden, Mr. Fielding,
-who had left him everything he possessed. He had thus enough to support
-him, that most dangerous of all endowments for a young man. Poor fellow!
-he had made his sacrifice with great bravery, and had wrenched himself
-away from all he cared for with the smile of a hero, neither sinking
-under the blow, nor exaggerating its force. “Courage!” he had said to
-himself, when he lost the place where he had been lord and master, and
-went forth poor, humble, and nameless, to face the world. He meant
-nothing less than to make a new life for himself better than the last,
-to assert the superiority of a guiltless heart and free conscience over
-fate. But, alas, it is so easy to do this in the general, so difficult
-in detail! “We will make our lives sublime,” says the poet, with such
-cheap magniloquence--and how many an enthusiast youth has delighted
-himself with the thought!
-
-Edgar was a very sensible, reasonable young fellow, but yet it was a
-consolation to him, in his sudden fall, to reflect that every man may
-conquer circumstances, and that will and energy are better than riches.
-He had dreamt of “doing something,” if not to make himself known and
-famous, at least to be of use in this life to his fellow-creatures and
-to himself. He meant it firmly up to the day when he left everything he
-knew or cared for, and he meant it the next day, and the day after, and
-even the next year; but up to this moment he had done nothing. For after
-all what was there to do?
-
-Young Paladins cannot kill fiery dragons, cannot meet giants in single
-combat, cannot deliver a whole district now-a-days by the stroke of a
-sword. To be sure, a man whose tastes lie that way may tackle the giant,
-Sewage, or attack the dragon, Ignorance; but that is slow work, seldom
-of a primitive, straightforward kind, and leading the fighter into many
-entanglements, dubious company, and very uncertain results. So the
-consequence was that poor Edgar meaning to do much, did nothing--not
-because he loved idleness, but because he did not know what to do. He
-wandered off abroad very soon disgusted with everything; with his
-downfall and his inability to surmount that downfall; with the meanness
-of estimating worth by rank and wealth, and the still greater meanness
-of his own incapacity to get quite free from that standard, which, so
-long as he was himself rich and great, he had disowned manfully.
-Cheerily he had laughed at the frivolity of the young men of fashion
-surrounding him when he was as they, but his laugh now had a certain
-bitterness, and he felt himself turn with a sickening of the heart from
-intercourse with a lower class, and then deeply and bitterly despised
-himself for this ignoble sentiment. His state of mind, indeed, though
-strange and miserable to himself, was no more than was natural and to be
-looked for in a man forcibly transplanted from the place of his natural
-growth, and from all the habits and traditions of his previous life.
-
-Therefore, these three years had been a failure with Edgar. He had done
-nothing with them, he who had gone out of his old existence firmly
-determined to do so much. He had wandered about over the face of the
-earth, to and fro, an unquiet spirit--but no good had come from any of
-his wanderings. He could not help being kind and charitable; it was no
-virtue on his part, but “just a carnal inclination;” and except this
-inevitable goodness, which was an affair of temperament, nothing had
-come of him, nothing had come from him, in these years.
-
-Thus, probably, he would have continued, if not always, until weariness
-had come on, and his vital strength was broken. He would have become,
-without vice, one of the thousand English vagabonds of quality who haunt
-every thoroughfare in Europe; and what a downfall would this have been
-for Edgar!--a greater downfall even than that which circumstances had
-brought upon him. The sudden summons which had brought him to Mrs.
-Murray’s sick-bed, the sudden call upon his charity, so
-characteristically adapted to move him, arrested him in the painful
-insignificance of this career. He had resolved to make the sacrifice
-which was involved, before it even occurred to him how much that
-sacrifice would involve; for he was of that species of humankind which,
-bestowing help and succour does first and considers afterwards. It cost
-him no struggle, no conflict with himself, to decide that everything he
-had must go at once to the aid of his mother’s mother, to her
-preservation in comfort--notwithstanding that she had wronged him, and
-that the tragic confusion and aimlessness of his life was her fault. He
-had taken all the steps at once which were necessary to carry out this
-transfer, and it was only now, when he had fully resolved upon it, that
-the cost to himself occurred to him. He counted that cost as he walked,
-stepping out as if he trod on air to the head of the loch.
-
-What would it cost him? It would take away all his certain living, every
-penny he had; it would force him to work one way or another in order to
-maintain himself. After his brief experience of wealth and its ways, and
-after the vague and unsatisfactory existence which he had led when he
-had just “enough to live on,” he must make a fresh start again, like any
-country lad setting forth to seek his fortune. The third start, he said
-to himself, with a certain rueful amusement; for Edgar was one of those
-who could laugh at his own misfortunes. I cannot tell how it was that
-this prospect did not discourage him, but certainly it did not; a
-certain exhilaration crept into his soul as he faced the wind, walking
-fast with joyous defiance. The third time of beginning must be lucky at
-last; was it not a mystical number, acknowledged by the very children in
-their games? He had heard an urchin assuring another that very morning
-that “the third ca’ was canny.” It was poor Edgar’s third trial. The
-first time he had been foiled by no fault of his--by arbitrary
-circumstances. The second time he had foiled himself by want of purpose,
-absence of anything direct to do, and languor of motive for attempting
-anything. But the third ca’ would be canny--nature and necessity would
-help him. He would be driven to work by infallible potency of need, and
-he would make something of it; so he said to himself.
-
-There was something exhilarating in the day, or else he thought so. The
-high wind was of itself a blessing after days of that weary rain, which
-is so common in the west of Scotland. The damp corn out on the fields,
-the still damper corn which stood in faint whiteness upon the hillside
-was shaking off some part of its superabundant moisture in the cheerful
-breeze. The white clouds were scudding over the mountains, throwing a
-poetic and perpetual interchange of light and shade over those silent
-spectators who occupied so large a share in the landscape, and whose
-sudden glories and brightness gave a human aspect to their everlasting
-strength. The deep blue of the distance, deep, and dark, and dreamy,
-against the open of the lighter sky; the thousand soft tones of purple,
-of grey, of brown, and soft green; the whiteness of a sudden peak
-starting into sunshine; the dark unfathomable depth of water, across
-which a sudden shadow would fall dramatically like an event, made even
-the silent country a partaker in the commotion which filled the young
-man’s mind.
-
-In this dramatic tumult of the elements, there was no knoll, no hollow,
-no tree, which had not its share. And in the midst of the animated
-scene, a sudden rush of alien sound, the rustle and sputter and
-commotion of the little steamer fretting its busy, fussy way to the head
-of the loch, which was the chief medium of communication with the
-outside world, struck upon Edgar’s ear with not unpleasant discord. It
-was work, it was life, it was the labour by which a man could live and
-serve his generation, that was embodied to him in this little noisy
-interruption which he had so often condemned as alien to the scene. Yes,
-it was alien to the scene. But to be reminded of the world without, of
-the noise, and movement, and high-pressure of life, was pleasant to
-Edgar at this moment of his existence; it helped to stimulate the thrill
-of new energy which seemed to be rising in his heart.
-
-There was, however, a motive less elevated which, I am bound to admit,
-affected the young man in his toleration of the steamer and its discord.
-He was eager to get away from Loch Arroch back into the world, where, at
-least, he would escape from the contemplation of that contrast between
-his present and his past, which was forced upon him here. All the
-confusion of his life, its conflicts between the sentiments which he
-felt he ought to entertain and those which, in spite of him, came
-uppermost in his mind, were kept painfully and constantly before his
-eyes. Every detail of the homely farmhouse existence brought them before
-him. The chief sting in all this was his vexation with himself for
-feeling these details to be of importance. Had he retained his original
-position, so little affected was he really by external circumstances,
-that I believe he would have found the life at the Castle Farm
-infinitely more reasonable, sensible, and natural than that which, as a
-man of fortune and fashion, he would himself have been compelled to
-lead, The simple fare, the plain rooms, the absence of luxuries, and
-even some of those everyday luxuries which we call comforts, did not
-really distress him; it was the sense of missing them, the quick and
-vivid consciousness of this and that a-wanting, which made the young man
-sore, and bitter, and ashamed of himself. And he felt in his heart that
-everything would be easier to him when he could but get away. I must
-add, however, that Edgar never showed his consciousness of the change of
-sphere to others, deeply as he felt it. The farmhouse servant, and
-little Jeanie, and even old Mrs. Murray herself, who had more insight,
-considered him much more “easy to please” than any other man of the
-kindred. “He gives just nae trouble,” Bell said, “and aye a ‘thank you,
-Bell,’ for every hand’s turn I do for him. Eh! when it’s Johnnie
-Campbell that’s i’ the house, ye can see the difference. It’s Bell here,
-and Bell there, like as I had nothing a do but wait upon him. But it’s a
-pleasure to serve Mr. Edgar, night or day.”
-
-This was the testimony of one very clear-sighted witness; and even Mrs.
-Murray concluded, with a relief which it would have been impossible to
-put into words, that the change had passed lightly over her grandson’s
-head without affecting him. “He has one of those blessed natures that
-are aye content, and take everything easy from the hand of God,” she
-said to herself, with a mixture of joy and disappointment; for this
-blessed nature, blessed as it is, is secretly looked down upon by
-persons conscious of more acute feeling. I believe my good Edgar had
-thus something in his character of what is commonly called humbug. He
-deceived people as to his own feelings by very consideration for their
-feelings. It was so absolutely indispensable to his being to set his
-companions at their ease, and make them comfortable so far as he could,
-that he took them in habitually, to use another vulgar expression, and
-was believed by everybody to be as happy as the day was long at Loch
-Arroch, while all the while he was secretly longing to get away. I
-believe that in some respects this kind of nature (not a very common
-one) is less good, being less honest, than that more general disposition
-which, when uncomfortable or dissatisfied itself, loses no opportunity
-of making others so, and states its sentiments frankly, whether they are
-likely to please its companions or not. I allow that Edgar’s special
-peculiarities had their disadvantages. I do not attempt to excuse him, I
-only state what they were.
-
-Just as he came in sight of Loch Arroch head--the village which, seated
-at the extremity of the loch, was the post town and general centre of
-the district--Edgar was joined by Robert Campbell, the husband of his
-eldest aunt, a man to whom he was expected to give the title of uncle,
-and who regarded him with a mingled feeling of rough amity, respect
-(for, was he not independent, with an income of his own, and able to
-live like a gentleman?), and conscientious conviction that something
-might be got out of him. He was a land-agent, in not a very great way, a
-factor for some of the less important land-owners of the district, a man
-not without education and information in his way, with considerable
-practical knowledge of law, and still greater of agriculture, racy of
-the soil, the sort of person whom a great landed proprietor from
-England, such as poor Edgar had been a few years before, would have
-appreciated mightily, and quoted for months after their meeting. But to
-enjoy the shrewdness and profit by the conversation of such an
-individual, when you are elevated a whole world above him,--and to take
-him into your heart as one of your own relatives, are very different
-things. Edgar shrank with a whimsical sense of moral cowardice as he saw
-this personage approaching. He laughed ruefully at himself. “Oh, why are
-uncles made so coarse, and nephews made so fine?” he said. But to see
-the fun of a situation does not always enable you to bear it with
-equanimity. He would have been very glad to get out of Robert Campbell’s
-way had that been possible; but as it was not possible he did his best
-to meet him with a smile.
-
-“How’s the auld leddy the day?” said Campbell, stretching out a huge
-hand to grasp Edgar’s; “living, and like to live, I’ll be bound. We
-maunna grumble, for she’s given an aixcellent constitution to her
-descendants, of which my lad is one as well as you. But, puir body, if
-it had been the Almighty’s will--lang life’s a grand thing when you’re
-well provided for,” Mr. Campbell concluded, with a sigh.
-
-“I hope none of her descendants will grudge her the little she wants,”
-Edgar began--
-
-“Saftly, saftly, my man! nobody grudges her the little she wants. The
-difficulty is, wha’s to provide that little,” said Campbell. “We’re all
-decently well off in one sense, with no scrimping of meal or milk and a
-good suit of black for a Sunday or a funeral, and a silk gown for the
-wife. But to keep up a farm upon our joint contributions, as I hear is
-what you’re thinking of--a farm, the chanciest thing in creation!--I
-allow I canna see my way to that. Excuse me, Mr. Edgar, for speaking my
-mind, but you’re young, and your notions are too grand for the like of
-us--I’m no saying it’s your fault. We maun cut our coat according to our
-cloth. I’m no fond of relations in the house; but she’s a harmless body,
-and I’ll stretch a point for once: and John Bryce, in Sauchiehall St.,
-will take Jeanie. He’s a man in a very decent way of business, and I’ve
-no doubt he could make her useful in the shop.”
-
-“But cannot you see,” cried Edgar, with a start and sudden wince,
-interrupting him, “that my poor old grandmother would be wretched
-without Jeanie? And Jeanie herself is too delicate a creature for any
-such life. They must stay together. Surely, surely,” cried the young
-man, “when she is helpless who has done so much for everybody, it is not
-too much that we should provide for something beyond her mere
-existence--her happiness as well.”
-
-Campbell had watched him very closely while he made this speech. The
-generous feeling with which he spoke brought the colour to Edgar’s
-cheek; he was unsuspicious of the meaning of the close scrutiny to which
-he was thus subjected, and made no effort to conceal this glow of
-natural emotion.
-
-“If it’s Jeanie you’re meaning,” said Campbell, with a laugh and
-significant look, “no doubt there are other arrangements that might be
-thought of; and a good man’s aye the best thing, especially when he has
-enough to live on. If that’s your thought, my lad, I am not the one to
-say you nay.”
-
-“If what is my thought?” said Edgar, bewildered.
-
-I do not think the idea had ever occurred to him before, and I cannot
-describe the thrill of wounded pride with which he received this shock.
-Jeanie! A child--a creature altogether out of his sphere. Jeanie! with
-her pretty peasant manners, and poetic homely dialect, a little girl
-whom he could be kind to, as he would be kind to the maid who milked the
-cows, or the child who ran his errands! In all the course of the three
-painful years that were past, I do not think Edgar had received any such
-cutting and sudden blow. He realized all his own humiliation when he saw
-himself placed in the imagination of the neighbourhood by little
-Jeanie’s side--her cousin, her often companion, her so-possible wooer!
-The thought stiffened him up all at once to stone. He forgot even his
-usual consideration for the feelings of others.
-
-“I have no thought of any kind in respect to Jeanie,” he said, coldly,
-“except in so far as concerns my grandmother. The two ought not to be
-separated. I cannot indeed allow them to be separated,” he added, still
-more proudly. “I have a little money, as you know, and if nobody else
-will do it, I must do it. I will make over to my grandmother my little
-income, such as it is. She can live and keep her favourite with her, if
-she has that.”
-
-“Your--income!” Mr. Campbell could scarcely gasp out the words, so
-breathless was he and dumb-foundered. “Your--income! And what will you
-do yoursel’? But you mean an allowance; that’s a different matter,” he
-added, recovering himself. “You’ll give in proportion to what the rest
-of us give? Ay, ay. I can understand that.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-Jeanie.
-
-
-Edgar did not come home till the evening was considerably advanced. He
-went with Campbell to his house, and partook of the substantial family
-tea in the best parlour, which Mrs. Campbell, his aunt, called the
-drawing-room--so that it was late before he returned home.
-
-“There’s a moon,” Campbell said. “Ye need be in no hurry. A young fellow
-in certain states of mind, as we a’ know, takes to moonlight walks like
-a duck to the water.”
-
-At which speech Mrs. Campbell laughed, being evidently in the secret;
-but John, the only son, who was a student at the University of Glasgow,
-and just about to set out for the winter session, looked black and
-fierce as any mountain storm. These inferences of some supposed
-sentiment, which he was totally ignorant of, might have passed quite
-innocuously over Edgar only a day before, but they filled him now with
-suppressed rage and deep mortification. Perhaps unreasonably; but there
-is nothing which a man resents so much as to be supposed “in love” with
-some one whom he considers beneath him. Even when there is truth in the
-supposition, he resents the discovery which brings all the
-inappropriateness of the conjunction before his mind; and if there is no
-truth in it, he feels himself injured in the tenderest point--ill-used,
-humbled, wronged. Edgar’s impulse was to leave the house where he was
-thus insulted by inference; but partly pride, partly his usual deference
-to other people’s feelings, and partly the necessity which was now
-stronger than ever of carrying out his intentions and leaving the place
-where he was subject to such an insane suggestion triumphed over his
-first impulse.
-
-Even Campbell was staggered in his vulgar notion that only Jeanie and
-her fresh beauty could account for the young man’s prolonged stay and
-unusual devotion, when he began to perceive the munificence of Edgar’s
-intentions. A young man who wanted to marry might indeed be guilty of a
-great many foolishnesses; he might be ready, Mr. Campbell thought, to
-burden himself with the old mother for the sake of the pretty child; but
-to alienate a portion of his income (for Edgar did not enter fully into
-his plan) was a totally different and quite impossible sort of
-sacrifice. What could be his motive? Was it that Jeanie might be
-educated and made a lady of before he should marry her? As for pure duty
-towards the old mother, honour of her long and virtuous life, compassion
-for the downfall of so proud a spirit, being motives strong enough for
-such a sacrifice, at this the worthy man guffawed loudly.
-
-“I’m no the man to be taken in with fine words,” he said, with a broad
-smile.
-
-While these jokes and discussions were going on in the best parlour at
-Loch Arroch Head, Jeanie, unconscious of any debate in which her name
-could be involved, went about her usual occupations at home. She got the
-tea ready, coming and going with soft steps from the parlour to the
-kitchen, carrying in the tray, and “masking” the tea with her own hands.
-As for Bell, she was “suppering” the kye, and looking after the outdoor
-work, and had no time for such daintier service. Jeanie would steal a
-moment now and then, while she prepared this simple meal, to step
-noiselessly to the ever open door, and cast a wistful look up the
-loch-side to see “if he was coming.” The gloaming grew darker and
-darker, the stars came out over the hill, the moon rose, and still
-Jeanie strained her eyes to see if any figure approached on the long
-line of almost level road by the side of the loch. Once her heart leaped
-up, thinking she saw him; but it was only a shearer taking his way home
-from the West Park, where, taking advantage of a good day, the harvest
-had gone on as long as the light permitted. Poor Jeanie! what a
-difference there was between this heavy rustic form as it drew near,
-relieved against the dark yet gleaming water of the loch, and the erect,
-light-footed, elastic figure she looked for! As she washed the old china
-cups brought out in his honour, and put the tea-things away, she
-wondered with a pang in her kind little heart what could have kept him?
-Had he met some of his grand friends, sportsmen arriving by the boat, or
-those tourists whom the natives looked upon with mingled admiration and
-scorn? or could any accident have happened? a thought which blanched her
-pretty cheek with fear.
-
-She would have liked to talk to her grandmother about Edgar, but she did
-not venture to do more than wonder “what could be keeping him?” a
-question to which Mrs. Murray responded placidly that no doubt he was
-“drinking tea” with somebody at Loch Arroch Head. The old lady was not
-discomposed by Edgar’s absence as Jeanie was; and poor Jeanie, in the
-flutter and warmth of her feelings, could have cried with vexation at
-the contrast between her own agitated heart and this calm, which she
-thought indifference. Her grandmother “did not care.” “Oh, how could she
-help caring, and him so good to her!” poor Jeanie said to herself. And
-Bell went about her work out of doors, cheerily singing, in her full
-rustic voice, as she prepared the supper for the kye, and carried it out
-to the byre, coming and going in her strong shoes, with clink of pails,
-and loud talking now and then to Sandy, who was helping. Nobody cared
-but Jeanie that he was so late of coming home.
-
-Then she went upstairs with her grandmother, who was still an invalid,
-and helped her to bed, and read “the chapter” with which the day was
-always concluded; and put a great old stick, with a gold head, which had
-belonged to some ancestor, by the bedside, in order that Mrs. Murray, if
-she wanted anything, should “knock down,” for there were not many bells
-in the little farmhouse. The sitting-room was immediately below, and
-this was the recognised way at the Castle Farm of calling for the
-attendants. When this last duty was done, Jeanie was free for the night
-to “take her book” or “her seam,” and do as she pleased, for she had
-never had anything to do with “the beasts” or outdoor matters.
-
-By this time Bell had finished with her clinking pails. She was in the
-kitchen, still moving about, frying the cold potatoes into a savoury
-mess, with which Sandy and she were about to regale themselves. Where
-Bell’s strong shoes were, and her hearty voice, not to speak of Sandy’s,
-which was very deep bass, there could scarcely be stillness in the
-house; but when the kitchen door was closed, and the two (who were
-sweethearts) talked lower, the spell of the quiet grew strong upon
-Jeanie. She put down her seam, and stole out very quietly to the door,
-which still stood innocently open; for at the Castle Farm they feared no
-evil. If you could but have seen her, no prettier figure ever watched
-for a tardy lover. She was dressed in a plain little brown frock,
-without any furbelows, with a little rim of white collar round her neck.
-Her golden hair was fastened up with a large tortoise-shell comb,
-thought “very old-fashioned” by all the girls about Loch Arroch, which
-had belonged to Jeanie’s mother, and of which, as a valuable article,
-costing originally “more than a pound-note,” as her grandmother had
-often told her, Jeanie was proud. The comb was scarcely visible in the
-soft bright mass of hair, which Jeanie had not neglected to twist up in
-its abundance into some semblance of “the fashion.” She leant against
-the doorway with her chin propped in the hollow of her hand, and one
-folded arm supporting the elbow of the other.
-
-The stars shone high over head, high up above the big summit of
-Benvohrlan, which shut out from her half the heavens. The moon was
-behind, silvering over the red roof of the house, and falling glorious
-upon the dark water, making it one sheet of silver from where it opened
-out of the bigger loch up to the very foot of the mountain. The side of
-Benvohrlan was almost as light as in the day-time, and Loch Long on the
-other turn of the gigantic corner formed by the hill, went gleaming away
-into invisible space, betraying itself in undefinable distance by here
-and there a line or speck of silver. All up the loch side, at Jeanie’s
-left hand, the path lay clear and vacant, without a shadow on it. On the
-other side, the glimmering lightness of the stubble field, with its
-sheaves looking like strange animals in the moonlight, extended to the
-water edge, rounding out to where it too gained the margin of the parent
-loch. I do not know any finer combination of hill and water. The level
-fields of the Castle Farm on one side, and Big Benvohrlan on the other,
-form the doorway by which the lesser loch enters the greater; on one
-side an angle of cultivated land: on the other a gigantic angle of
-mountain. But little Jeanie thought little of the familiar scene around
-her. The moon, newly risen, cast a soft shadow of her little figure, the
-same way as her heart went, upon the road from the loch-head by which
-Edgar was coming. He saw this shadow with a little impatient vexation as
-he approached the house, but not till long after little Jeanie’s heart
-had jumped to perceive him.
-
-Poor little gentle soul! her large eyes made larger and softer still by
-her wistful anxiety and longing for his presence, had watched with
-patience unwavering for more than an hour. She had not minded the chill
-wind nor the weariness of standing so long, with no support but the
-doorway. The attitude, the strained look, the patience, were all
-characteristic of Jeanie. She was the kind of being which in all
-second-rate poetry, and most second-rate imaginations, is the one sole
-type of woman. Looking for some one who was the lord of her life, or
-looking to some one--with soft eyes intent, with quick ears waiting,
-with gentle heart ready to receive whatever impression he wished to
-convey, the soft soul turned to the man who had caught her heart or her
-imagination as the flower turns to the sun. To use the jargon of the
-day, poor little Jeanie was receptive to the highest degree. She never
-originated anything, nor advised anything, nor took any part as an
-individual being in the conduct of life, either her own or that of
-others. Hers were not those eager youthful opinions, those harsh
-judgments, those daring comments which belong as much to youth as its
-bloom. She was too artless to know anything of the prettiness of her
-uplifted eyes, or the delicious flattery which lay in her absolute
-submissiveness. Poor Jeanie did not know that these were charms much
-more potent than the talents which she was aware she did not possess.
-She listened, and looked, and watched for those signs of guidance, which
-she obeyed by instinct with the docility of a dumb creature, because it
-was her nature. She did not even intend to please; though she was happy
-beyond description when she found that she had pleased, she did but act
-as she could not help acting, according as her disposition moved her.
-Edgar, who had not been used to this kind of woman, had been half
-annoyed, half amused by her powerlessness to advise or help, her soft
-devotion of look, now addressed to himself, now to Mrs. Murray. He had
-wondered at it, and objected to it; yet he had been moved like any other
-man to a softening sense of protection and almost tenderness. He was
-flattered too in spite of himself to find her thus watching for him. It
-made him more than half angry, but yet it pleased him involuntarily.
-
-“You will catch cold standing out here in the night air,” he said
-pettishly at the first moment. Then he added with compunction, “It is
-kind of you to look for me, Jeanie; but you should not stand out in the
-cold without a shawl.”
-
-“I’m glad you’re come home,” said Jeanie, with instinctive policy
-ignoring this reproof. “Grannie is in her bed, and it is lonely without
-you. Will I make you some tea? or will you have your supper? You’ve been
-long away.”
-
-“Not so very long,” said Edgar, touched by the soft complaint, “but I
-ought to have recollected that you were alone. Are you afraid, Jeanie,
-at night with no one but Bell and the granny to take care of you? It is
-a lonely house.”
-
-“Oh, no,” said Jeanie, looking brightly round upon him, as he followed
-her into the low parlour, where two candles were flickering on the table
-before the fire.
-
-“But it is a lonely house?”
-
-“Oh, yes,” she repeated softly, “but what o’ that? Nobody would meddle
-with us. Granny is as well known as Loch Arroch Kirk. Nobody dares
-meddle with us. I’m never lonely, except when granny is ill and goes to
-her bed, and I can hear Bell and Sandy in the kitchen. That makes me
-think I would like somebody to speak to, too.”
-
-“But Bell and Sandy,”--Edgar began: if he was going to be so incautious
-as to add,--“are sweethearts,” I don’t know what would have become of
-him; but happily Jeanie, with a sudden blush interposed.
-
-“I was not meaning Bell and Sandy; any voices have the same sound. They
-make you feel how lone you are.”
-
-“That is true,” said Edgar, seating himself by the fire, which Jeanie
-had kept bright, with a clean-swept hearth, and a clear red glow for his
-coming. He sat down meditatively in the old mother’s chair. “That is
-true,” he repeated slowly, “I have felt it often of winter nights when I
-have gone upstairs to my chilly room, and heard the people chatting
-together as I passed their doors.”
-
-“_You_ have felt that, too?” said Jeanie timidly, with reverential
-wonder, “but you need never be your lane unless you like.”
-
-“I assure you I have often been ‘my lane,’ as you call it, when I did
-not like at all,” said Edgar smiling, “you have much too high an
-opinion, Jeanie, of what I can do ‘if I like.’”
-
-“Oh, no,” said Jeanie, “you are not the same as the like of us; you are
-a man, which is a great difference,--and then you’re a grand gentleman.”
-
-“Jeanie, my foolish little Jeanie! I am your cousin and your granny’s
-child like you,” he cried, putting his hand upon hers, to stop her in
-the little outburst of innocent enthusiasm, which was, he felt, for an
-ideal Edgar--not for him.
-
-“It’s very hard to understand,” said Jeanie shaking her head softly with
-a little sigh, “why you should be yonder the greatest of the land, and
-now only granny’s son, like me. I’ll no try. When I think, I get back a
-pain in my head like what I had--when I was ill.”
-
-“You must not think,” said Edgar, “but, Jeanie, tell me, did you do my
-commission? Did you persuade granny to let me do what I wish?”
-
-“Yes,” said Jeanie eagerly; she came forward and stood by him in the
-pleasure of making this report of her own faithfulness,--and the
-cheerful ruddy gleam of the firelight flickered about her, shining in
-her hair and eyes, and adding a tint to the colour on her cheek, which
-was pale by nature. “I told her a’ you said, I did not miss a word. I
-said it would be fine for her, but better for you; that you would do
-something then, and now you were doing nothing; and that you would be
-glad aye to think of Loch Arroch, and that there was a house there where
-you were thought upon day and night, and named in a’ the prayers, and
-minded, whatever you did, and whatever we did.”
-
-“That was your own, Jeanie,” said Edgar, taking her hand, and looking up
-at her with gratified tenderness. She was to him as a little sister, and
-her affectionate half-childish enthusiasm brought a suffusion to his
-eyes.
-
-“If it was, may I no say what I think--me too?” said Jeanie, with modest
-grace. “I told her that you couldna bear the thought of her away in
-another man’s house, after so long keeping her own over a’ our heads,
-that the siller was nothing to you, but that her--and me--were something
-to you, your nearest friends in this world. Eh, I’m glad we’re your
-nearest friends! though it’s strange, strange to think of,” said Jeanie,
-in a parenthesis. “I told her that though she couldna work and I couldna
-work, you could work, and win a fortune if you liked. I did not forget a
-single word,” cried the girl, “not a word! I told her all you said.”
-
-For a moment Edgar made no reply. He listened with a half smile,
-wonderingly endeavouring to put himself in the place of this limited yet
-clear intelligence, which was capable of stating his own generous
-arguments so fully, yet incapable, as it seemed, of so much reflection
-as would make her hesitate to expound them. Jeanie, so far as her
-personal sentiment went, accepted his sacrifice with matter-of-fact
-simplicity, without ever thinking of his side of it, or of the
-deprivations involved. She took his offer to denude himself of
-everything he had, with the same absolute pleasure and satisfaction with
-which a child would accept a present. Was it her unbounded confidence in
-his power to win a fortune if he liked? Or was it her simple instinct
-that this was natural, and that the weak and helpless had a right to the
-services of the strong? Edgar was bewildered by this question which
-never entered into Jeanie’s mind. He was almost glad of her incapacity
-to see beyond the surface of things, and yet wondered at it with
-something between amusement and pain. Here was the primitive nature,
-commonplace, unsophisticated, he said to himself, which believed what
-was said to it simply demanding without motive or reason. No second
-thoughts troubled the limpid surface of Jeanie’s gentle mind. She
-believed unhesitatingly not only that he meant what he said (which was
-true), but that the arguments she repeated were infallible, without
-perceiving the sophistry of which Edgar himself, the author of them, was
-fully conscious. Truly and sincerely she made as light of his
-self-renunciation as he himself had made--a thing which is bewildering
-to the self-sacrificer, though it may be the thing which is most
-desirable to him and suits his purpose best. I do not know if Jeanie was
-aware of the half tone of descent in the moral scale which made itself
-apparent in Edgar’s voice.
-
-“You have been a clever advocate, Jeanie,” he said with a smile, “and I
-hope a successful one,” and with that he dropped her hand and took out
-his newspaper. Was there anything amiss, or was it merely his lordly
-pleasure to end the conversation? With a momentary sense of pain, Jeanie
-wondered which it was, but accepted the latter explanation, got her
-seam, and sat down within reach of the pleasant warmth of the fire,
-happy in the silence, asking nothing more.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-A Family Consultation.
-
-
-A few days after, various members of the family arrived at the Castle
-Farm, with the intention of deciding what was to be done. An arrangement
-had been partially made with a young farmer of the district, who was
-ready to enter upon the remainder of the lease, and whom the factor on
-the part of the Duke was ready to accept as replacing Mrs. Murray in the
-responsibilities of the tenancy. This, of course, everybody felt was the
-natural step to be taken, and it left the final question as to how the
-old lady herself was to be disposed of, clear and unembarrassed. Even
-Edgar himself was not sufficiently Quixotic to suppose that Mrs.
-Murray’s feelings and pride should be so far consulted as to keep up the
-farm for her amusement, while she was no longer able to manage its
-manifold concerns.
-
-Mr. and Mrs. Campbell arrived first in their gig, which was seated for
-four persons, and which, indeed, Mr. Campbell called a phaeton. Their
-horse was a good steady, sober-minded brown horse, quite free from any
-imaginativeness or eccentricity, plump and sleek, and well-groomed; and
-the whole turnout had an appearance of comfort and well-being. They
-brought with them a young man whom Edgar had not yet seen, a Dr. Charles
-Murray, from the East-country, the son of Mrs. Murray’s eldest son, who
-had arrived that morning by the steamboat at Loch Arroch Head. From
-Greenock by the same conveyance--but not in Mr. Campbell’s gig--came
-James Murray, another of the old lady’s sons, who was “a provision
-merchant” in that town, dealing largely in hams and cheeses, and full of
-that reverential respect for money which is common with his kind. Lastly
-there arrived from Kildarton on the other side of Loch Long, a lady who
-had taken the opportunity, as she explained to Edgar, of indulging her
-young people with a picnic, which they were to hold in a little wooded
-dell, round the corner of the stubble field, facing Loch Long, while she
-came on to join the family party, and decide upon her mother’s destiny.
-This was Mrs. MacKell, Mrs. Murray’s youngest daughter, a good-looking,
-high-complexioned woman of forty-five, the wife of a Glasgow “merchant”
-(the phrase is wide, and allows of many gradations), who had been living
-in sea-side quarters, or, as her husband insisted on expressing it, “at
-the saut water,” in the pleasant sea-bathing village of Kildarton,
-opposite the mouth of Loch Arroch. The boat which deposited her at the
-little landing-place belonging to the Castle Farm, was a heavy boat of
-the district, filled with a bright-coloured and animated party, and
-provided with the baskets and hampers necessary for their party of
-pleasure. Mrs. MacKell stood on the bank, waving her hand to them as
-they hoisted the sail and floated back again round the yellow edge of
-the stubble field.
-
-“Mind you keep your warm haps on, girls, and don’t wet your feet,” she
-called to them; “and oh, Andrew, my man, for mercy’s sake take care of
-that awful sail!”
-
-This adjuration was replied to by a burst of laughter in many voices,
-and a “Never fear, mother,” from Andrew; but Mrs. MacKell shook her
-good-looking head as she accepted Edgar’s hand to ascend the slope. All
-the kindred regarded Edgar with a mixture of curiosity and awe, and it
-was, perhaps, a slight nervous shyness in respect to this stranger, so
-aristocratical-looking, as Mrs. MacKell expressed herself, which gave a
-little additional loudness and apparent gaiety to that excellent woman’s
-first address.
-
-“I’m always afraid of those sails. They’re very uncanny sort of things
-when a person does not quite understand the nature of our lochs. I
-suppose, Mr. Edgar, you’re in that case?” said Mrs. MacKell, looking at
-him with an ingratiating smile.
-
-He was her nephew, there could be no doubt of it, and she had a right to
-talk to him familiarly; but at the same time he was a fine gentleman and
-a stranger, and made an impression upon her mind which was but
-inadequately counter-balanced by any self-assurances that he was “just
-an orphan lad--no better--not to say a great deal worse off than our own
-bairns.” Such representations did not affect the question as they ought
-to have done, when this strange personage, “no better, not to say a
-great deal worse” than themselves, stood with his smile which made them
-slightly uncomfortable, before them. It was the most open and genial
-smile, and in former times Edgar had been supposed a great deal too much
-disposed to place himself on a level with all sorts of people; but
-now-a-days his look embarrassed his humble relations. There was a
-certain amusement in it, which bore no reference to them, which was
-entirely at himself, and the quaintly novel position in which he found
-himself, but which nevertheless affected them, nobody could have told
-why. He was not laughing at them, respectablest of people. They could
-not take offence, neither could they divine what he was laughing at; but
-the curious, whimsical, and often rueful amusement which mingled with
-many much less agreeable feelings, somehow made itself felt and produced
-an effect upon which he had never calculated. It was something they did
-not understand, and this consciousness partially irritated, partially
-awed these good people, who felt that the new man in their midst was a
-being beyond their comprehension. They respected his history and his
-previous position, though with a little of that characteristic contempt
-which mingles so strangely in Scotland with many old prejudices in
-favour of rank and family; they respected more honestly and entirely his
-little property, the scraps of his former high estate which made him
-still independent; but above all they now respected, though with some
-irritation, what seemed to them the unfathomableness of his character,
-the lurking smile in his eyes. It confirmed the superiority which
-imagination already acknowledged.
-
-“I have not had much experience of the lochs,” said Edgar, following
-with his eyes the clumsy but gay boat, with its cargo of laughter, and
-frankly gay, if somewhat loud, merry-making.
-
-Mrs. MacKell saw his look and was gratified.
-
-“You’ll not know which are your cousins among so many,” she said; “and,
-indeed, the girls have been plaguing me to write over and ask you to
-come. They were all away back in Glasgow when my mother took ill, and
-just came down last week on my account. It’s late for sea-bathing
-quarters in Scotland; and, indeed, when they took it into their heads
-about this pic-nic, I just raged at them. A pic-nic in October, and on
-the loch! But when children set their hearts on a thing the mother’s aye
-made to give way; and they had to be kept quiet, you see, while my
-mother was ill, not knowing how it might end.”
-
-“That is true,” said Edgar; “otherwise, so far as my poor grandmother is
-concerned, this cannot be called a very joyful occasion.”
-
-“I don’t see that for my part,” cried Mrs. MacKell, feeling herself
-attacked, and responding with instant readiness. “Dear me! if I were in
-my mother’s position, to see all my children about me, all that remain,
-would aye be a joyful occasion, whatever was the cause; and what better
-could she do at her age than go up the loch to my sister Jean’s
-comfortable house, where she would be much made of, and have all her old
-friends about her? My mother has been a good mother. I have not a word
-to say against that; but she’s always been a proud woman, awfully proud,
-holding her head as high as the Duchess, and making everybody stand
-about. I’ll not say but what it has been very good for us, for we’ve
-never fallen among the common sort. But still, you know, unless where
-there’s siller that sort of thing cannot be kept up. Of course, I would
-like it better,” added Mrs. MacKell, “to have my mother near, where I
-could send the bairns--excuse me for using the words of the place.”
-
-“Oh, I like the words,” said Edgar, with a laugh, which he could not
-quite restrain--better than the sentiments, he would have said.
-
-“Where I could send any of my young folk that happened to be looking
-white, at any moment,” she went on; “far different from what I could do
-with Jean, who has the assurance to tell me she always invites her
-friends when she wants them, though her son has his dinner with us every
-Sunday of his life during the Session! Therefore it’s clear what my
-interest is. But you see, Mr. Edgar,” she continued, softening, “you
-have the ways of a rich man. You never think of the difficulties. Oh!
-Charles, is that you? I’m glad to see you looking so well; and how are
-things going in the East country? and how is your sister Marg’ret, and
-little Bell? If my young folk had known you were here, they would have
-wanted you away with them in the boat. But I must go ben and see my
-mother before all the folk come in. I suppose you are going to look
-over the farm, and the beasts, with the rest.”
-
-The young doctor--upon whom as a man of his own age, and one more like
-the people he had been accustomed to than those he now found around him,
-Edgar had looked, with more interest than any of his other relations had
-called from him--came up to him now with a face overcast with care.
-
-“May I speak to you about this painful subject,” he said, “before the
-others come in?”
-
-“Why a painful subject?” asked Edgar, with a smile, which was half
-tremulous with feeling, and half indignant, too proud for sympathy.
-
-“It may not be so to you,” said the young man. “She brought us up, every
-one of my family; but what can I do? I have a brother in Australia, too
-far off to help, and another a clerk in London. As for me, I have the
-charge of my eldest sister, who is a widow with a child. You don’t know
-what a hard fight it is for a young medical man struggling to make his
-way.”
-
-“No, not yet,” said Edgar, with a smile.
-
-“Not yet? How can you know? If I were to take my grandmother home with
-me, which I would do gladly, she would be far from everything that she
-knows and cares for--in a new place, among strangers. Her whole life
-would be broken up. And I could not take Jeanie,” the young man added,
-with a thrill of still greater pain in his voice. “There would be other
-dangers. What can we do? I cannot bear to think that she must leave this
-place. But I have so little power to help, and consequently so little
-voice in the matter.”
-
-“I have not very much,” said Edgar; “but yet enough, I think, to decide
-this question. And so long as I have a shilling, she shall not be driven
-away from her home. On that I have made up my mind.”
-
-His new cousin looked at him with admiration--then with a sigh:
-
-“What a thing money is,” he said; “ever so little of it. You can take a
-high hand with them, having something; but I, to whom Robert Campbell
-and Mr. MacKell have both lent money to set me going--”
-
-Edgar held out his hand to his companion.
-
-“When this is settled I shall be in the same position,” he said; “worse,
-for you have a profession, and I have none. You must teach me how I can
-best work for daily bread.”
-
-“You are joking,” said the young doctor, with a smile.
-
-Like the others, he could not believe that Edgar, once so rich, could
-ever be entirely poor; and that he should denude himself altogether of
-his living for the sake of the old mother, whom they were all quite
-ready to help--in reason, was an idea impossible to be comprehended, and
-which nobody believed for a moment. He said nothing in reply, and the
-two stood together before the door waiting for the other men of the
-party, who were looking over “the beasts” and farm implements, and
-calculating how much they would bring.
-
-James Murray, the provision merchant, was the typical Scotchman of
-fiction and drama--a dry, yellow man, with keen grey eyes, surrounded by
-many puckers, scrubby sandy hair, and a constant regard for his own
-interest. The result had been but indifferent, for he was the poorest of
-the family, always in difficulties, and making the sparest of livings by
-means of tremendous combinations of skill and thought sufficient to have
-made the most fabulous fortune--only fortune had never come his way. He
-had been poking the cows in the ribs, and inspecting the joints of every
-plough and harrow as if his life depended upon them. As he came forward
-to join the others, he put down in the note-book which he held in his
-hand, the different sums which he supposed they would bring. Altogether,
-it was a piece of business which pleased him. If he had ever had any
-sentimental feeling towards his old home, that was over many a long year
-ago; and that his mother, when she could no longer manage the farm,
-should give it up, and be happy and thankful to find a corner at her
-daughter’s fireside, was to him the most natural thing in life. The only
-thing that disturbed him, was the impossibility of making her seek a
-composition with her creditors, and thus saving something “for an
-emergency.”
-
-“James has aye an eye to what may come after,” Mr. Campbell said, with
-his peculiar humour, and a laugh which made Edgar long to pitch him into
-the loch; “he’s thinking of the succession. Not that I’m opposed to
-compounding with the creditors in such a case. She’s well-known for an
-honest woman that’s paid her way, and held up her head with the best,
-and we all respect her, and many of us would have no objection to make a
-bit small sacrifice. I’m one myself, and I can speak. But your mother is
-a woman that has always had a great deal of her own way.”
-
-“More than was good for her,” said James Murray, shaking his head.
-“She’s as obstinate as an auld mule when she takes a notion. She’s been
-mistress and mair these forty year, and like a women, she’ll hear no
-reason. Twelve or fifteen shillings in the pound is a very fine
-composition, and touches no man’s credit, besides leaving an old wife
-something in her pocket to win respect.”
-
-“And to leave behind her,” said Campbell, laughing and slapping his
-brother-in-law on the back.
-
-This was at the door of the farm-house, where they lingered a moment
-before going in. The loud laugh of the one and testy exclamation of the
-other, sounded in through the open windows of the parlour, where the
-mistress of the house sat with her daughters; probably the entire
-conversation had reached them in the same way. But of that no one took
-any thought. This meeting and family consultation was rather “a ploy”
-than otherwise to all the party. They liked the outing, the inspection,
-the sense of superiority involved. The sons and the daughters were
-intent upon making their mother hear reason and putting all nonsense out
-of her head. She had been foolish in these last years of her life. She
-had brought up Tom’s bairns, for instance, in a ridiculous way. It was
-all very well for Robert Campbell’s son, who was able to afford it, to
-be sent to College, but what right had Charlie Murray to be made a
-gentleman of at the expense of all the rest? To be sure his uncles and
-aunts were somewhat proud of him now that the process was completed, and
-liked to speak of “my nephew the doctor;” but still it was a thing that
-a grandmother, all whose descendants had an equal right to her favours,
-had no title to do.
-
-“My bairns are just as near in blood, and have just as good a right to a
-share of what’s going; and when you think how many there are of them,
-and the fight we have had to give them all they require,” Mrs. MacKell
-said to Mrs. Campbell.
-
-“Many or few,” said Mrs. Campbell to Mrs. MacKell, “we have all a right
-to our share. I’ve yet to learn that being one of ten bairns gives more
-claim than being an only child. Johnnie ought to be as much to his
-grandmother as any grand-bairn she has--as much as Charlie Murray that
-has cost her hundreds. But she never spent a pound note on my Johnnie
-all his life.”
-
-“There have been plenty pound-notes spent on him,” said the younger
-sister, “but we need not quarrel, for neither yours nor mine will get
-anything from their grandmother now. But I hope the men will stand fast,
-and not yield to any fancies. My mother’s always been a good mother to
-us, but very injudicious with these children. There’s Jeanie, now,
-never taught to do a hand’s turn, but encouraged in all her fancies.”
-
-“I would like to buy in the china,” said Mrs. Campbell. “Auld china is
-very much thought of now-a-days. I hear the Duchess drinks her tea out
-of nothing else, and the dafter-like the better. You’ll be surprised
-when you see how many odds and ends there are about the house, that
-would make a very good show if they were rightly set out.”
-
-“My mother has some good things too, if all the corners were cleared,
-that are of no use to her, but that would come in very well for the
-girls,” said Mrs. MacKell; and with these kind and reverential thoughts
-they met their mother, who perhaps also--who knows?--had in her day been
-covetous of things that would come in for the girls. This was the easy
-and cheerful view which the family took of the circumstances altogether.
-Not one of them intended to be unkind. They were all quite determined
-that she should “want for nothing;” but still it was, on the whole,
-rather “a ploy” and pleasant expedition, this family assembly, which had
-been convened for the purpose of dethroning its head.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-The Family Martyr.
-
-
-I need not say that the feelings with which the old woman awaited the
-decision of her fate were of a very different character. She had lain
-awake almost the whole night, thinking over the long life which she had
-spent within those walls. She had been married at eighteen, and now she
-was seventy. I wonder whether she felt in herself one tithe of the
-difference which these words imply. I do not believe she did; except at
-special moments we never feel ourselves old; we are, to ourselves, what
-we always were, the same creature, inexhaustible, unchangeable,
-notwithstanding all vulgar exterior transformation. Poor old Mrs. Murray
-at seventy, poor, aged, ruined, upon whom her children were to sit that
-day and give forth her sentence of banishment, her verdict of
-destitution, never more to call anything her own, to lodge in the house
-of another, to eat a stranger’s bread--was to her own knowledge the same
-girl, eighteen years old, who had opened bright eyes in that chamber in
-those early summer mornings fifty years ago when life was so young.
-Fifty years passed before her as she lay with her eyes turned to the
-wall. How many joys in them, how many sorrows! how tired she had lain
-down, how lightly risen up, how many plans she had pondered there, how
-many prayers she had murmured unheard of by any but God, prayers, many
-of them never answered, many forgotten even by herself, some, which she
-remembered best, granted almost as soon as said. How she had cried and
-wept in an agony, for example, for the life of her youngest child, and
-how it had been better almost from that hour! The child was her
-daughter, Mrs. MacKell, now a virtuous mother of a family; but after all
-to her own mother, perhaps it would not now have mattered very much had
-that prayer dropped unheard. How many recollections there are to look
-back on in seventy years, and how bewildering the effort to remember
-whether the dreamer lying there is eighteen, or forty, or seventy! and
-she to be judged and sentenced and know her doom to-day.
-
-She did not shed any tear or make any complaint, but acknowledged to
-herself with the wonderful stoicism of the poor that it was natural,
-that nothing else was to be looked for. Jean and her husband would be
-kind--enough; they would give the worn-out mother food and shelter; they
-would not neglect nor treat her cruelly. All complaint was silent in her
-heart; but yet the events of this day were no “ploy” to her. She got up
-at her usual time, late now in comparison to the busy and active past,
-and came down with Jeanie’s help to the parlour, and seated herself in
-the arm-chair where she had sat for so many years. There she passed the
-morning very silent, spending the time with her own thoughts. She had
-told Jeanie what to do, to prepare for the early dinner, which they were
-all to eat together.
-
-“You would be a good bairn,” she had said with a smile, “if you would
-take it upon you to do all this, Jeanie, and say nothing to me.”
-
-Jeanie had sense enough to take her at her word, and thus all the
-morning she had been alone, sitting with eyes fixed on Benvohrlan, often
-with a strange smile on her face, pondering and thinking. She had her
-stocking in her hands, and knitted on and on, weaving in her musing soul
-with the thread. When her daughters came in she received them very
-kindly with a wistful smile, looking up into their faces, wondering if
-the sight of the mother who bore them had any effect upon these women.
-Still more wistfully she looked at the men who followed. Many a volume
-has been written about the love of parents, the love of mothers, its
-enthusiasms of hope and fancy, its adorations of the unworthy, its agony
-for the lost; but I do not remember that anyone has ventured to touch
-upon a still more terrible view of the subject, the disappointment, for
-example, with which such a woman as I have attempted to set before the
-reader--a woman full of high aspirations, noble generosities, and
-perhaps an unwarrantable personal pride, all intensified by the homely
-circumstances of life around her--sometimes looks upon the absolutely
-commonplace people whom she has brought into the world. She, too, has
-had her dreams about them while they were children and all things seemed
-possible--while they were youths with still some grace and freshness of
-the morning veiling their unheroic outlines. But a woman of seventy can
-cherish no fond delusions about her middle-aged sons and daughters who
-are to all intents and purposes as old as she is. What a dismal sense of
-failure must come into such a woman’s heart while she looks at them!
-Perhaps this is one reason why grandfathers and grandmothers throw
-themselves so eagerly into the new generation, by means of which human
-nature can always go on deceiving itself. Heavens! what a difference
-between the ordinary man or woman at fifty, and that ideal creature
-which he, or she, appeared to the mother’s eyes at fifteen! The old
-people gaze and gaze to see our old features in us; and who can express
-the blank of that disappointment, the cruel mortification of those old
-hopes, which never find expression in any words?
-
-Mrs. Murray, from the household place where she had ruled so long, where
-she had brought up upon her very life-blood like the pelican, those same
-commonplace people--where she had succoured the poor, and entertained
-strangers, and fed from her heart two generations--looked wistfully,
-half wonderingly at them as they all entered, and sat down round her, to
-decide what was to be done with her. Something of a divine despair, like
-that God Himself might have felt when the creation he had pronounced
-good, turned to evil--but with a more poignant thrill of human anguish
-in the fact of her own utter powerlessness to move to good or to evil
-those independent souls which once had seemed all hers, to influence as
-she would--swept through her like a sudden storm. But to show any
-outward sign of this was impossible. Theirs now was the upper hand; they
-were in the height of life, and she was old. “When thou wast young, thou
-girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest; but when thou
-shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird
-thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not;” she said these words to
-herself with a piteous patience and submission; but unheard by any
-soul,--unless, indeed, it was by those sympathisers in Heaven, who hear
-so much, yet make no sign that we can hear or see.
-
-They came in quite cheerfully all of them, full of the many and
-diversified affairs which, for the moment, they were to make the
-sacrifice of laying aside to settle the fate of their mother, and held
-over her body, as it were, a pleasant little family palaver.
-
-“The children have gone down the loch for a pic-nic; they would have
-come in to see Granny, but I said you would have no time for them
-to-day. The weather is just wonderful for this time of the year, or I
-never would have allowed such a thing.”
-
-“It’s all very well for you town-folk to praise up a good day,” said Mr.
-Campbell, “which is no doubt pleasant when it comes to them that have no
-interest in the land--but a kind of an insult to us after all the soft
-weather that has ruined the corn. What’s the use of one good day except
-for your pic-nics and nonsense? nothing but to make the handful of
-wheat sprout the faster. And the glass is down again--We’ll have more
-rain the morn.”
-
-“You’ll find it very dry in the East country, Chairles,” said Mrs.
-Campbell; “more pleasant for walking, but very stour and troublesome to
-keep a house clean, and a great want of water. Your sister Marg’ret was
-aye ill to please about the weather; but after a’ that’s come and gone,
-I hope she’s no so fanciful now?”
-
-“You’ll be setting up a gig soon?” said James Murray, “or, perhaps,
-you’ve done it already? It’s expensive, but it’s a kind of necessity for
-a doctor.”
-
-“Indeed I cannot see that; a strong young man like Charles that’s well
-able to walk! but some folk are always taking care of themselves,” said
-Mrs. MacKell. “In Glasgow, the richest men in the place think nothing of
-a walk, wet or dry--and my bairns, I assure you, are never spoiled with
-such luxuries.”
-
-“A gig to a doctor is like a spade to a labouring man,” said Robert
-Campbell, sententiously; “that’s an expense that I approve. Keep you up
-appearances, Charles--that’s as long as you can do it out of your own
-pocket,” he said with a laugh, thrusting his hand deep into his own.
-
-“I know where you could lay your hand on a very decent machine, cheaper,
-I answer for’t, than anything you’ll get in the East country,” said
-James.
-
-“And I am sure you have plenty of old harness that could be cleaned up,
-Robert,” said Mrs. Campbell, “if it’s thought necessary. To be sure, if
-he was sent for in a hurry to some country place, perhaps, or the other
-side of the town--”
-
-“Thank you all,” said the young doctor, “but I have a--conveyance. I
-could not do without it. I took it from my predecessor, along with the
-house and the goodwill.”
-
-“Did you hear what he said?” said Mrs. MacKell, aside, to Mrs. Campbell,
-“a conveyance, not a gig, as we were all saying. Depend upon it, it’s
-some grand landau, or something, where Marg’ret can lie and take her
-ease. To think how my mother spoiled these bairns!”
-
-Mrs. Murray took no part in all their talk. She sat with her old eyes
-sadly turned upon them, eyes that were clear with the pallid liquid
-light of a sky just cleared from rain. I think the only one who was at
-all interested in the old woman, beyond the matter-of-fact interest
-which belonged to her as the cause of the meeting, was Edgar, who had
-seated himself close to her, and who now laid his hand, in a silent
-sympathy which nobody else felt, upon the hand with which she held the
-arm of her chair. Her hand was grey-white, the colour of old age, with
-all the veins visible on the wrinkled surface. When he put his young
-warm hand upon it, it felt almost as cold as death.
-
-“Don’t you think,” he said, with some abruptness, “that my grandmother’s
-concerns ought to be settled before we talk of anything else?”
-
-They had all, as I have said, a respect for Edgar, and his voice had an
-immediate effect.
-
-“That’s true,” said Mr. Campbell, “it would be better to settle
-everything before dinner;” and with this comfortable levity they all
-gathered more closely round the table. The drawing in of chairs and the
-little noise of coughing and clearing throats which heralded the
-commencement of a new subject, occupied the first minute; then James
-Murray edged slightly away from the table the chair which he had drawn
-close to it, and prepared to speak. But before he had opened his lips an
-unforeseen interruption arose; Mrs. Murray herself took the initiative,
-a thing entirely unexpected by her children, who had felt, with a sense
-of security, that they had her fairly in hand.
-
-“Bairns,” she said slowly, and at first in a low tone, while they all
-turned upon her with surprise, “bairns, I am leaving you to settle
-everything. I am old; I would fain have gone to them that’s passed
-before me, but the Lord hasna been of my mind. Things have gone badly
-with the farm, partly by His providence, partly by my fault--you know
-that as well as I do. In my time, I’ve commanded you and done what I
-thought best. Now the power has gone out of my hands; settle as ye will,
-and I’ll no complain, so long as every man has his ain, and no debt is
-left, nor any person to rise up against me and call me an unjust dealer.
-I’ve done my best for you while it was in my power. Now, do your best,
-I’ll no complain. Beggars should not be choosers. It’s all in your
-hands.”
-
-“Mother, you shouldna speak like that! as if you doubted that we could
-think of anything but your good,” cried both her daughters in a breath;
-“and as for beggars--not one of us would use such a word.”
-
-“It’s what I am,” said the old woman firmly. “And there’s but one word I
-have to say. You ken all of you what I would like best; that’s all I’ll
-say; every one of you kens what I would like best. But, failing that,
-I’ll do whatever’s settled on. I’ll no complain.”
-
-“What you would like, we all know very well,” said James Murray,
-hastily; “but it’s impossible, mother, impossible. You canna afford the
-farm, you canna afford to keep up a house, doing nothing for it, or to
-keep up a family. There’s _you_, and we’ll do our best.”
-
-She made a little gesture with her hands, and relapsed into the
-stillness which she had not broken when they talked of other affairs.
-The discrowned monarch sat still to let whoever would take her sceptre
-from her. She took up the stocking she had laid in her lap, and began
-knitting again, looking at them with eyes out of which the wistfulness
-had faded. An almost stern submission had replaced the wondering anxious
-look with which she had looked round to see if anyone would understand
-her, if any would deal with her as she had dealt by them.
-
-“For you see,” continued James Murray, doggedly, “mother, we are none of
-us rich, to be guided by your fancies. If we were great ones of this
-earth, and you the auld Duchess, say, for example’s sake, you might have
-your will, whatever it cost. But we’re all poor folk--or comparatively
-poor folk. We may give you a welcome to our houses, such as they are,
-and a share of what we have; but as for siller we have not got it, and
-we cannot give you what we have not got to give.”
-
-“That’s just about the real state of the case,” said Robert Campbell.
-“There are many things more rife among us than siller. We’ve all sense
-enough to see what’s for our advantage, and we’re all industrious folk,
-doing our best; but siller is not rife. As for us, Jean and me have long
-made up our minds what to do. It’s our duty, or at least it’s her duty,
-as the eldest of the daughters; and your mother was always a kind
-guid-mother to me, and never interfered or made mischief; so I would
-never oppose Jean’s righteous desire. We’ll take the old leddy in. She
-shall have a room to herself, and nothing to do, one way or other, more
-than she pleases. If she likes to do any small turn in the house, in the
-way of helping, well and good; but nothing will be asked from her. And
-anything that the rest of you think that you could spare--I’m not a man
-to haggle about my good-mother’s board. She shall have her share of all
-that’s going the same as one of ourselves; but if any of you have
-anything to spare----”
-
-“Would it not be more satisfactory to us all, and more agreeable to my
-grandmother,” said Edgar, suddenly, “if, without charging Mr. Campbell
-above the rest, we were to make up a little income for her, to enable
-her to keep her own house?”
-
-This suggestion fell like a sudden cannon-ball into the group. There was
-a universal movement.
-
-“Well, well, I’m no forcing myself on anybody. Try what you can do,”
-cried Campbell, offended, pushing his chair from the table.
-
-“It’s just all stuff and nonsense!” cried his wife, reddening with
-anger.
-
-The other two elder people regarded Edgar with a mixture of disapproval
-and dismay. And the young doctor, the only one of the party who showed
-some sympathy for him, grew very red, and hesitated and cleared his
-throat as if to speak--but said nothing. After a moment’s pause, James
-Murray turned upon the inconsiderate speaker with a certain solemnity.
-
-“Who are you, young man,” he said, “that you should put in your word and
-do what you can to unsettle a well-considered family arrangement? You
-heard me say not ten minutes since that just the thing we were wanting
-in was money. We’re no in a position to make up incomes either for auld
-wives or young lads. We’re all ready to acknowledge our duty to my
-mother, and to pay it in kind according to our ability. If she tires of
-Jean, she may come to me; none of us would shut our houses against her;
-but as for an income, and to leave her free to make her house a refuge
-for the destitute, as she has aye done, more’s the pity--”
-
-“Mother,” cried Mrs. MacKell, suddenly, “what for are you looking so at
-me? Do you think I wouldna rather, far rather, see you in your own
-house? But I’m no an independent woman as you’ve been a’ your days. I’m
-a man’s wife that has plenty to do with his siller. I brought him not a
-sixpence, as ye well know, but a large expensive family, that wants a
-great deal mair than ever _we_ got, as I often tell them. And what can I
-do? I went to my man without a penny, and how can I ask him to spend his
-siller on my folk? Mother,” and here Mrs. MacKell burst into hasty
-sudden crying, half-vexation, half-shame, “it’s awfu’ unkind, when you
-ken how I am situate, to give such looks at me!”
-
-“I gave you no looks, Agnes,” said the old woman. “Oh, Sirs, hold all
-your tongues. I’m the mother that bore you, and never counted the cost
-for aught that was in my power to get for you. But I will have no strife
-of tongues over me. Ye shall not quarrel what you’re to give, or how
-little you’re to give. I canna bear it. Edgar, my bonnie man, you mean
-well, but every word is another stab. Robert Campbell, I take your offer
-kindly. I’ll no be much trouble. I canna promise that I’ll no last long,
-for _that’s_ in the Lord’s hand, and waes me, I canna cut it short, no
-by an hour. But it’s little I want, and I’ll give little trouble--”
-
-She paused, with a piteous smile upon her face, gulping down something
-which rose in her throat. With this smile she made her abdication,
-looking round upon them with an anguish of submission and endurance so
-curiously compounded of a hundred different ingredients of pain, each
-giving sharpness and poignancy to the others, that to describe them all
-exceeds my power.
-
-“We’ll go ben and get our dinner,” she added hurriedly; “we’ll say no
-more about it. I take it a’ for granted, and the rest you can settle
-among yourselves.”
-
-“But I cannot take it for granted,” said Edgar. “Stop a little. I will
-not give any stabs, my old mother. Look here, my aunts and uncles.” He
-said this with a momentary hesitation, with the half-smile which they
-resented; but still they listened, having a respect for him and his
-independence. “I am not like you,” said Edgar, still with that
-half-smile. “The only thing I have is money, a little, not worth
-speaking of, but still it is mine to do what I like with it. Is it not
-true that there is some talk of building a new farmhouse for the new
-farmer, as this one is old and in want of repair? I think I heard you
-say so the other day.”
-
-“It’s true enough--what’s about it?” said Campbell, shortly.
-
-“Then my grandmother shall stay here,” said Edgar, decisively; “she
-shall not be turned out of her home, either by her creditors, or--by her
-sons and daughters. I have nobody to stop me, neither wife, nor sister,
-nor child, nor duty. Thank heaven, I have enough left for that! If you
-will take the trouble to settle all about it, Mr. Campbell, I shall be
-grateful; it is all we will ask you for, not your hospitality, only a
-little trouble. I don’t suppose the Duke will make any difficulties, nor
-the young farmer whom I saw yesterday. Thank you for your kind
-intentions. My grandmother will not be able to set up a refuge for the
-destitute, but no doubt she will serve you all when you require her
-services, as she has been used to do all her life,” said Edgar, with
-some excitement. “Mother, not a word; it is all done, past my power of
-changing as well as yours.”
-
-They all sat and looked at him with momentary stupefaction, staring,
-turning to give questioning looks at each other. Was the young man mad?
-When Edgar ended by pushing some papers across the table to Campbell,
-they all drew close to look, James Murray taking out eagerly, and
-putting on with hands that trembled, a large pair of clumsy spectacles.
-All the four heads of the elder people clustered about these documents;
-they read the papers each over the other’s shoulder.
-
-“It’s all in order--all in order. Young idiot! he’s bound himself as
-long as she lives,” Campbell muttered in an undertone. “Why the deevil
-didn’t ye let us know your intentions and save us a’ this trouble?” he
-exclaimed aloud, putting away the women from behind him with a gesture,
-and turning with well-put-on indignation to the young man, whose
-excitement had not yet calmed down.
-
-“Saftly, saftly,” said James Murray, “we must not let ourselves be
-carried away by our feelings. I approve the lad; it’s just what I would
-have done myself had I been without the burden of a family, and plenty
-of siller to come and go upon. I’ll shake hands with you, Edgar, my lad;
-it’s well done and well thought! Robert, here, may have a little feeling
-on the subject, as being the one that offered his house; but for my
-part, I’ve no hesitation in saying it’s well done, Edgar--well
-done--just what, in your circumstances, I would have done myself!”
-
-“By George! you’re a clever fellow, Jamie Murray!” cried Campbell, with
-a loud laugh.
-
-The two women did not say anything; they looked at each other, and Mrs.
-MacKell, who was the most soft-hearted, began to cry.
-
-“It’s what we would all have liked to have done,” she said feebly, after
-an interval.
-
-Her sister turned round sharply and scolded Jeanie, who had been sitting
-behind backs looking on, and who now looked up at Edgar with a face so
-radiant that it struck her aunt with sharp offence--more sharp than the
-real offence of the stranger’s superior generosity, of which it was a
-reflection.
-
-“What are you doing there,” she said, “you little idle cutty? Did not
-Granny tell you to see after the dinner? It may be good for her, but
-it’s ruination to you, if you had the sense to see it. Dinna let me see
-you sit there, smil--smiling at a young lad! I wonder you dinna think
-shame! It’s all my mother’s fault,” she added bitterly, placing herself
-in the chair by the window, which Jeanie, in dismay and tears, hastily
-evacuated; “_we_ were kept to our work and kept in order, in our day;
-but she’s spoiled every creature that’s come near her since. I’m glad
-I’ve nae girls mysel that she can ruin as she’s ruined Jeanie!”
-
-“Poor thing, she has nae mother to keep her right,” said the softer
-sister.
-
-I think, for my part, that the sharp offence and bitterness of the
-women at the sudden turn that things had taken, showed a higher moral
-sense than the eager satisfaction with which, after the first moment,
-the men received it. Murray and Campbell both felt the immediate relief,
-as far as they themselves were concerned. The women felt first the shame
-and stigma of not having attempted to do for their mother what this
-stranger was so ready to do. The result was much less pleasant and less
-amiable to witness, but it showed, I think, a higher feeling of right
-and wrong.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-A Party in a Parlour.
-
-
-The dinner which followed was not, the first part of it at least, a very
-comfortable meal. Mrs. Murray herself was profoundly shaken by the
-conference altogether. She was unable to say anything to her grandson
-except the almost wild “No, lad; no, Edgar, my bonnie man!” with which
-she had endeavoured to stop him at first. After this she had not uttered
-a word. She had taken his hand between her old and worn hands, and
-raised her face as if to God--praying for blessings on him? No--I do not
-think her mind was capable of such an effort--she was looking up to the
-Divine Friend who had been her refuge in everything these seventy years,
-in a strange rapture of surprise and joy. How much part the sudden
-change in her circumstances had to do with the joy, I cannot tell--very
-little I think, infinitesimally little. “I have one son, one true son,
-after all; heart of my heart, and soul of my soul!” This was the
-predominating thought in her mind, the half-ecstatic feeling which
-flooded her old being like sudden sunshine. Amid all the griefs and
-disappointments to which such a soul is liable, there remains to one now
-and then the tender and generous delight of seeing others do by her as
-she would have done by them. How sweet it is; before all delight in
-gifts, or even in affection! We think of the golden rule more often in
-the way of a command, employing it to touch our own souls to languid
-duty; but there are occasions when it is given back to us, so to speak,
-in the way of recompense, vivified and quickened into rapture. This old
-woman had practised it as she could all her life, and others had not
-done to her as she had done to them; but here, at the end of her
-existence, came one--her reward, one heir of her nature, one issue of
-her soul. Thus she had her glimpse of heaven in the very moment
-of her lowest humiliation. She had done little personally for
-him--little--nothing--except to harm him; but she had done much for
-others, sacrificing herself that they might live, and the stranger, in
-whose training she had had no hand, who had with her no link of union
-but the mystic tie of blood, gave back to her full measure, heaped up,
-and running over. I must leave to the imagination of the reader the keen
-satisfaction and joy, sharp and poignant almost as pain, with which this
-aged soul, worn out and weary, received full in her heart, all at once,
-as by a shot or thunderbolt, the unthought of, unhoped-for recompense.
-
-The men, as I have said, were the first to reconcile themselves to the
-sudden revolution. If any thrill of shame came over them, it was
-instantly quenched, and ceased to influence the hardened mail, beaten by
-much vicissitude of weather, which covered them. The women were
-thinner-skinned, so to speak, more easily touched in their pride, and
-were sensible of the irony with which, half-consciously to himself,
-Edgar had spoken. But, perhaps, the person most painfully affected of
-all was the young doctor, who had listened to Edgar with a painful flush
-on his face, and with a pang of jealous pain and shame, not easy to
-bear. He went up to the old lady as soon as the discussion was over, and
-sat down close by her, and held a long conversation in an undertone.
-
-“Grandmother,” he said, the flush returning and covering his face with
-painful heat, “you do not think me ungrateful or slow to interfere? You
-know it is not want of will, but want of means. You know--”
-
-“Charlie, was I asking anything, that you speak so to me? I know you
-could not interfere. You are in their debt still, poor lad?”
-
-“Yes, I am in their debt still. I don’t know how to get out of it; it
-grinds me to the ground!” cried the young man. “But what can I do?”
-
-Mrs. Murray patted his hand softly with her old worn fingers; but she
-was silent, with that silence which the weak nature, eager for
-approbation, but unable to make a bold effort after good, feels so
-profoundly.
-
-“You don’t say anything,” said Dr. Charles, with a mixture of petulance.
-“You think I might have done more?”
-
-“No, Charlie, no,” said the old woman; “as you say not. I would be glad
-to see you free of this bondage; but you must know best yourself.”
-
-“There is so much to do,” said the young doctor. “I must get a position.
-I must make an appearance like others in my profession. So many things
-are necessary that you never think of here in a country place; and you
-know Margaret has no health to speak of. There is so much expense in
-every way.”
-
-“She was always handless,” said Mrs. Murray. “She should come to me with
-little Bell, and let you take your chance. Living costs but little here,
-and what is enough for one is enough for two,” said the old woman, with
-her perennial and instinctive liberality of heart.
-
-“Enough for one! Jeanie is going to leave you then, as the Campbells
-told me,” said the young man hastily. “He is to marry her as they said?”
-
-“I ken nothing about marrying or giving in marriage,” said the
-grandmother, with some severity of tone. “If that is still in your mind,
-Charlie--”
-
-“It is not in my mind--it was never in my mind,” he said with an
-eagerness which was almost passionate. “She has a lovely face, but she
-never was or could be a fit wife for a man in my position. There never
-was anything in that.”
-
-“Charlie, my man, you think too much of your position,” said the old
-woman, shaking her head; “and if there was nothing in it, why should you
-gloom and bend your brows at the _thought_ that Edgar might care for the
-bonnie face as well as you? He does not, more’s the pity.”
-
-“And why should you say more’s the pity? Do you want to be rid of
-Jeanie? Do you want to be left alone?”
-
-“I’m but a bruised reed for anyone to trust to,” she said. “Soon, soon
-I’ll have passed away, and the place that now knows me will know me no
-more. I would be glad to see my poor bairn in somebody’s hand that would
-last longer than me.”
-
-A momentary flush of strong feeling passed over the young man’s face.
-
-“Grandmother,” he said, “you were too good to me. If I had been bred a
-farmer like yourself--”
-
-“You would have made but a weirdless farmer, Charlie, my man. It’s not
-the trade that does it,” said Mrs. Murray, with some sadness. “But
-Marg’ret had better come to me. She may hinder you, but she’ll no help
-you. The bairns are maybe right; I was injudicious, Charlie, and grieved
-for you that were all delicate things without a mother. I should have
-known better. You are little able to fend for yourselves in this world,
-either Marg’ret or you.”
-
-“I don’t know why you should say so, grandmother. I am making my way in
-my profession,” said Dr. Charles, not without offence, “and Margaret is
-very greatly thought of, and asked to the best houses. If you have
-nothing more to blame yourself with than you have in our case--”
-
-Mrs. Murray sighed, but she made no answer. It was not for nothing that
-her daughters had reproached her. Charles Murray and his sister Margaret
-had been the two youngest of the flock, her eldest son Tom’s children,
-whom the brave old woman had taken into her house, and brought up with
-the labour of her own hands. The others were scattered about the world,
-fighting their way in all regions; but Charlie and Margaret had been as
-apples of her eye. She had done everything for them, bringing up the son
-to a learned profession, and “making a lady of” the gentle and pretty
-girl, who was of a stock less robust than the other Murrays. And as Mrs.
-Murray had no patent of exemption from the failures that follow
-sometimes the best efforts, she had not succeeded in this case. Charles
-Murray, without being absolutely unsuccessful, had fulfilled none of the
-high hopes entertained concerning him; and Margaret had made a foolish
-marriage, and had been left in a few years a penniless widow dependent
-upon her brother. No one knew exactly what the two were doing now. They
-were “genteel” and “weirdless,” living, it was feared, above their
-means, and making no attempt to pay back the money which had been lent
-by their wealthier friends to set the young doctor afloat.
-
-This was why the children she had trained so carefully could give their
-old mother no help. Margaret had cried bitterly when she heard that the
-old home was about to be broken up, and Charles’s heart was torn with a
-poignant sense of inability to help. But the tears and the pain would
-have done Mrs. Murray little good, and they were not of any profound
-importance to the brother and sister, both of whom were capable of some
-new piece of extravagance next day by way of consoling themselves. But
-though Mrs. Murray was not aware of it, the sharp shock of Edgar’s
-unlooked-for munificence towards her, and the jealousy and shame with
-which Dr. Charles witnessed it, was the most salutary accident that had
-happened to him all his life. The contrast of his own conduct, he who
-was so deeply indebted to her, and that of his unknown cousin, gave such
-a violent concussion to all his nerves as the young man had never felt
-before; and whatever might be the after result of this shock, its
-present issue was not agreeable. A sullen shadow came over him at the
-homely dinner to which they all sat down with such changed feelings. He
-had been the only one to whom Edgar had turned instinctively for
-sympathy, and Edgar was the first to feel this change. James Murray and
-Robert Campbell were the only two who kept up the languid conversation,
-and their talk, we need not add, was not of a very elevated kind.
-
-“The mutton’s good, mother,” said James; “you’ve aye good mutton at Loch
-Arroch; not like the stuff that’s vended to us at I canna tell how much
-the pound. That’s a great advantage you have in the country. Your own
-mutton, or next thing to it; your own fowls and eggs, and all that. You
-should go on keeping poultry; you were a very good henwife in the old
-days, when we were all young; and there’s nothing that sells better than
-new-laid eggs and spring chickens. Though you give up the farm, I would
-advise you to keep them on still.”
-
-“And I would not wonder but you might have grass enough for a cow,” said
-Campbell. “A cow’s a great thing in a house. There’s aye the milk
-whatever happens, and a pickle butter is never lost. It sells at as much
-as eighteen pence a pound on the other side of the loch, when those
-Glasgow people are down for the saut water. Asking your pardon, Agnes, I
-was not meaning the like of you; there are plenty Glasgow people that
-are very decent folk, but it cannot be denied that they make everything
-very dear.”
-
-“And what is that but an advantage to everybody as long as we can pay,
-aye, the double if we like?” cried Mrs. MacKell, forgetting her previous
-plea of comparative poverty. “We like everything of the best, I don’t
-deny it; and who has a better right, seeing our men work hard for every
-penny they make?”
-
-“For that matter so do the colliers and that kind of cattle, that
-consume all they earn in eating and drinking,” said Campbell. “I like a
-good dinner myself; but the way you Glasgow folk give yourselves up to
-it, beats me. That’s little to the purpose, however, in the present
-case. James’s advice is very good advice, and so you’ll find is mine. I
-would not object to being at the expense of buying in that bonnie brown
-cow, the one you fancied, Jean--women are aye fanciful in these
-matters--if there will be anybody about the house that could supper and
-milk a cow?”
-
-He looked doubtfully at Jeanie as he spoke, and they all looked at her,
-some suspiciously, some contemptuously. They all seemed to Jeanie to
-reproach her that she was not a strong, robust “lass” ready to help her
-grandmother.
-
-“I can milk Brounie; she’s so gentle,” said Jeanie, half under her
-breath, looking wistfully at her critics. James Murray uttered a
-suppressed “humph!”
-
-“A bonnie young woman for a farm-house!” he said, “that can milk a cow
-when it’s gentle. I hope you’ll save the lad’s siller as much as
-possible, mother; no running into your old ways, taking folk into your
-bosom, or entertaining strangers on the smallest provocation, as you
-used to do.”
-
-“I hope my grandmother will do precisely as she likes--in the way that
-pleases her best,” said Edgar with emphasis.
-
-“I am saying,” said Campbell with emphasis, “a cow; and the cocks and
-hens, according to James. An honest penny is aye a good thing, however
-it’s got. If young Glen gets the farm, as is likely, he’ll be wanting a
-lodging till the new house is built. I would take the lad in and give
-him accommodation, if it was me. In short, there’s a variety of things
-that would be little trouble, and would show a desire to make the best
-of what’s given you; and any assistance that I can be of, or Jean--”
-
-“Oh my mother’s above my help or yours either,” said Mrs. Campbell, with
-some bitterness. “You need not push yourself in, Rob, when neither you
-nor me are wanted.”
-
-Mrs. Murray listened to all this with grave patience and forbearance.
-She smiled faintly at her daughter’s petulance, and shook her head.
-“Bairns,” she said, gently, “I guided my own concerns before you were
-born.” It was the only reproof she attempted to administer, and it was
-followed by a pause, during which the sound of knives and forks was very
-audible, each individual of the party plying his as for a wager, in the
-sudden stillness which each affronted person thought it doubly incumbent
-on him and her to keep up. Mrs. Murray looked round upon them all with a
-smile, which gradually softened into suppressed but genial humour. “I
-hope you are all making a good dinner,” she said.
-
-The afternoon after this passed as a Sunday afternoon often passes in a
-family gathering. They all stood a little on their defence, but, with a
-keen appreciation of the fact, that the mother, whom they all intended
-to advise and lecture, had certainly got the upper hand, and had been on
-the verge of laughing at them, if she had not actually done so, were
-prudent, and committed themselves no further. They all went out after
-dinner to see the site where the new farm-house was to be built, and to
-speculate on the way in which young Glen would manage the farm, and
-whether he would succeed better than its previous occupant. The women of
-the party visited “the beasts,” as the men had done before dinner, and
-the men strolled out to the fields, and weighed in their hands the damp
-ears of corn, and shook their heads over the length of the straw, and
-pointed out to each other how badly the fields were arranged, and how
-the crops had been repeated year after year. “It’s time it was all in
-other hands,” they said to each other. As for Dr. Charles, he avoided
-the other members of the party--the uncles who might ask for the money
-they had lent him, and the aunts who might inquire with an undue
-closeness of criticism into his proceedings and those of his sister. He
-sat and talked with his grandmother in the parlour, answering her
-questions, and making conversation with her in a way which was somewhat
-formal. In short, it was very like a Sunday afternoon--and the sense of
-being in their best clothes, and having nothing to do, and being, as it
-were, bound over to keep the peace, was very wearisome to all these good
-people. The little excitement of pulling to pieces, so to speak, the
-house which had sheltered and reared them, was over, and thus a certain
-flat of disappointment and everyday monotony mingled with the sense of
-something unusual which was in their meeting. Their purpose was foiled
-altogether, and the business _manqué_, yet they could not but profess
-pleasure in the unexpected turn that things had taken. It was very like
-a Sunday afternoon.
-
-And it is impossible to tell what a relief it was to all, when the big
-fishing-boat came heavily round the corner with the picnic party, and
-Jeanie, in her plain brown frock, ran down to the landing to bid her
-cousins come into tea. There were some six or seven in the boat,
-slightly damp and limp, but in high spirits; three of whom were girls,
-much more gaily dressed than Jeanie, yet with a certain general
-resemblance to her. They all rushed fluttering in their gay ribbons up
-to the farm-house, glad of the novelty, and threw themselves upon
-“Granny,” whom they admired without the criticism in which their mother
-indulged less than her brothers and sisters. They did not take much
-notice of Jeanie, but Dr. Charles was full of interest for them, and the
-unknown Edgar, who was still more emphatically “a gentleman,” excited
-their intensest curiosity. “Where is he? which is him?” they whispered
-to each other; and when Bell, the youngest, exclaimed with
-disappointment, that he was just like Charlie Murray, and nothing
-particular after all, her two elder sisters snubbed her at once. “If you
-cannot see the difference you should hold your tongue,” said Jeanie
-MacKell, who called herself Jane, and had been to a school in England,
-crowning glory of a Scotch girl on her promotion. “Not but what Charles
-is very nice-looking, and quite a gentleman,” said Margaret, more
-meekly, who was the second daughter. The presence of these girls, and of
-the young men in attendance upon them, to wit Andrew, their brother, and
-two friends of his own class, young men for whom natural good looks did
-not do so much as for the young women, and who were, perhaps, better
-educated, without being half so presentable--made the tea-table much
-merrier and less embarrassed than the dinner had been. The MacKells
-ended by being all enthralled by Edgar, whose better manners told upon
-them, (as a higher tone always tells upon women,) whose superiority to
-their former attendants was clear as daylight, and who was not stiff
-and afraid to commit himself like Charles Murray; “quite a gentleman,”
-though they all held the latter to be. As for Edgar himself, he was so
-heartily thankful for the relief afforded by this in-road of fresh
-guests, that he was willing to think the very best of his cousins, and
-to give them credit--that is the female part of them--for being the best
-of the family he had yet seen. He walked with them to their boat, and
-put them in, when sunset warned them to cross the loch without delay,
-and laughingly excused himself from accepting their eager invitations,
-only on the ground that “business” demanded his departure on the next
-day. Mrs. MacKell took him aside before she embarked, and shook his hand
-with tears gathering in her eyes.
-
-“I could not say anything before them all,” she said, with an emotion
-which was partly real; “but I’ll never forget what you’ve done for my
-mother--and oh, what a comfort it is to me to think I leave her in her
-ain old house! God bless you for it!”
-
-“Good-bye,” said Edgar, cheerily, and he stood on the banks and watched
-the boat with a smile. True feeling enough, perhaps, and yet how oddly
-mingled! He laughed to himself as he went back to the house with an
-uneasy, mingling of pain and shame.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-Gentility.
-
-
-Charles Murray did not return to the Campbells’ house for the night as
-he had originally intended. The relatives were all out of sorts with
-each other, and inclined to quarrel among themselves in consequence of
-the universal discomfiture which had come upon them, not from each
-others’ hands, but from the stranger in their midst. And as it was quite
-possible that Campbell, being sore and irritable, might avenge himself
-by certain inquiries into Dr. Charles’s affairs, the young man thought
-it wiser on the whole to keep out of his way. And the grandmother’s
-house was common property. Although only a few hours before they had all
-made up their minds that it was to be no longer hers, and that she
-thenceforward was to be their dependent, the moment that she became
-again certain of being mistress in her own house, that very moment all
-her family returned to their ancient conviction that they had a right to
-its shelter and succour under all and every kind of circumstances.
-
-James Murray went away arranging in his own mind that he would send his
-youngest daughter “across” before the winter came on, “to get her
-strength up.” “One bairn makes little difference in the way of meals,
-and she can bring some tea and sugar in a present,” he said to himself;
-while Dr. Charles evidenced still more instantaneously the family
-opinion by saying at once that he should stay where he was till
-to-morrow.
-
-“It seems much more natural to be here than in any other house,” he said
-caressingly to his grandmother.
-
-She smiled, but she made no reply. Even, she liked it, for the position
-of a superior dispensing favours had been natural to her all her life,
-and the power to retain this position was not one of the least
-advantages that Edgar’s liberality gave her. But even while she liked
-it, she saw through the much less noble sentiment of her descendants,
-and a passing pang mingled with her pleasure. She said nothing to Dr.
-Charles; but when Edgar gave her his arm for the brief evening walk
-which she took before going to rest, she made to him a curious apology
-for the rest. Charles was standing on the loch-side looking out,
-half-jealous that it was Edgar who naturally took charge of the old
-mother, and half glad to escape out of Edgar’s way.
-
-“We mustna judge them by ourselves,” she said, in a deprecating tone.
-“Charlie was aye a weak lad, meaning no harm--and used to depend upon
-somebody. Edgar, they are _not_ to be judged like you and me.”
-
-“No,” said Edgar, with a smile; then rapidly passing from the subject
-which he could not enter on. “Does he want to marry Jeanie?” he asked.
-
-“That I canna tell--that I do not know. He cannot keep his eyes off her
-bonnie face; but, Edgar, the poor lad has strange fancies. He has taken
-it into his head to be genteel--and Marg’ret, poor thing, is genteel.”
-
-“What has that to do with it?” said Edgar, laughing.
-
-“We are not genteel, Jeanie and me,” said the old woman, with a gleam of
-humour. “But, Edgar, my man, still you must not judge Charlie. You are a
-gentleman, that nobody could have any doubt of; but the danger of being
-a poor man’s son, and brought up to be a gentleman, is that you’re never
-sure of yourself. You are always in a fear to know if you are behaving
-right--if you are doing something you ought not to do.”
-
-“Then, perhaps,” said Edgar, “my cousin would have been happier if he
-had not been brought up, as you say, to be a gentleman.”
-
-“What could I make him? Farming’s but a poor trade for them that have
-little capital and little energy. Maybe you will say a Minister? but
-it’s a responsibility bringing up a young man to be a Minister, when
-maybe he will have no turn that way but just seek a priest’s office for
-a piece of bread. A good doctor serves both God and man; and Charlie is
-not an ill doctor,” she added, hurriedly. “His very weakness gives him a
-soft manner, and as he’s aye on the outlook whether he’s pleasing you or
-not, it makes him quick to notice folk’s feelings in general. Sick men,
-and still more sick women, like that.”
-
-“You are a philosopher, grandmother,” said Edgar.
-
-“Na, na, not that,” said the old woman; “but at seventy you must ken
-something of your fellow-creature’s ways, or you must be a poor creature
-indeed.”
-
-Meanwhile Charles Murray had gone back to the house, and was talking to
-Jeanie, who for some reason which she did not herself quite divine, had
-been shy of venturing out this special evening with the others. Perhaps
-the young doctor thought she was waiting for him. At all events it was a
-relief to go and talk to one in whom no criticism could be.
-
-“You feel quite strong and well again, Jeanie?” he said.
-
-“Oh yes, quite strong and well--quite better,” she said, looking up at
-him with that soft smile of subjection and dependence which most people
-to whom it is addressed find so sweet.
-
-“You should not say quite better,” he said, smiling too, though the
-phrase would by times steal even from his own educated lips. “I wonder
-sometimes, Jeanie, after passing some months in England as you did, that
-you should still continue so Scotch. I like it, of course--in a way.”
-
-Here Jeanie, whose face had overcast, brightened again and smiled--a
-smile which this time, however, did not arrest him in his critical
-career.
-
-“I like it, in a way,” said Charles, doubtfully. “Here on Loch Arroch
-side it is very sweet, and appropriate to the place; but if you were
-going out--into the world, Jeanie.”
-
-“No fear of that,” said Jeanie, with a soft laugh.
-
-“On the contrary, there is much fear of it--or much hope of it, I
-should say. There are many men who would give all they have in the world
-for a smile from your sweet face. I mean,” said the young man,
-withdrawing half a step backward, and toning himself down from this
-extravagance, “I mean that there is no doubt you could marry
-advantageously--if you liked to exert yourself.”
-
-“You should not speak like that to me,” cried Jeanie, with a sudden hot
-flush; “there is nothing of the kind in my head.”
-
-“Say your mind, not your head, Jeanie; and like the dear good girl you
-are, say head, not _heed_,” said Dr. Charles with a curious mixture of
-annoyance and admiration; and then he added, drawing closer. “Jeanie, do
-you not think you would like to go to school?”
-
-“To school? I am not a little bairn,” said Jeanie with some indignation,
-“I have had my schooling, all that Granny thought I wanted. Besides,”
-she continued proudly, “I must look after Granny now.”
-
-“She has asked Margaret to come to her,” said the young man, “and don’t
-you think, Jeanie, if you could be sent to a school for a time--not to
-learn much you know, not for lessons or anything of that kind; but to
-get more used to the world, and to what you would have to encounter if
-you went into the world--and perhaps to get a few accomplishments, a
-little French, or the piano, or something like that?”
-
-“What would I do, learning French and the piano?” said Jeanie; her
-countenance had over-clouded during the first part of his speech, but
-gradually gave way to wonder and amusement as he went on. “Are you
-thinking of Jeanie MacKell who can play tunes, and speak such fine
-English? Granny would not like that, and neither would I.”
-
-“But Granny is not the only person in the world,” he said, “there are
-others who would like it. Men like it, Jeanie; they like to see their
-wife take her place with anyone, and you cannot always be with
-Granny--you will marry some day.”
-
-Jeanie’s fair soft countenance glowed like the setting sun, a bright and
-tender consciousness lit up her features; her blue eyes shone. Dr.
-Charles, who had his back to the loch, as he stood at the farm-house
-door, did not perceive that Edgar had come into sight with Mrs. Murray
-leaning on his arm.
-
-“May-be all that may be true,” said Jeanie, “I cannot tell; but in the
-meantime I cannot leave Granny, for Granny has nobody but me.”
-
-“She has asked my sister Margaret, as I told you--”
-
-“Margaret instead of me!” said Jeanie, with a slight tone of wonder.
-
-“It is strange how disagreeable you all are to my sister,” said Dr.
-Charles with some impatience. “It need not be instead of you; but Granny
-has asked Margaret, and she and the little one will come perhaps before
-winter sets in--the change would do them good. I should be left alone
-then,” he said, softening, “and if Margaret stays with Granny, I should
-be left always alone. Jeanie, if you would but get a little education
-and polish, and make yourself more like what a man wishes his wife to
-be--”
-
-Jeanie was looking behind him all the time with a vague dreamy smile
-upon her face. “If that is a’ he wants!” she said dreamily to herself.
-She was thinking not of the man before her, whose heart, such as it was,
-was full of her image; but of the other man approaching, who did not
-think of Jeanie except as a gentle and affectionate child. If that was
-a’ he wanted! though even in her imaginative readiness to find
-everything sublime that Edgar did, there passed through Jeanie’s mind a
-vague pang to think that he would pay more regard to French and the
-piano, than to her tender enthusiast passion, the innocent adoration of
-her youth.
-
-“If you would do that, Jeanie--to please me!” said the unconscious young
-Doctor, taking her hand.
-
-“Here is Granny coming,” said Jeanie hastily, “and--Mr. Edgar. Go ben
-the house, please, and never mind me. I have to see that the rooms are
-right and all ready. Are you tired, Granny? You have had a sore day. Mr.
-Edgar, say good night to her now, she ought to go to her bed.”
-
-Thus Dr. Charles was thrust aside at the moment when he was about to
-commit himself. Jeanie put him away as if he had been a ploughman, or
-she a fine lady used to the fine art of easy impertinence. So little
-thought had she of him at all, that she was not aware of the
-carelessness with which she had received his semi-declaration, and while
-he withdrew stung all over as by mental nettles, abashed, insulted, and
-furious, she went innocently upstairs, without the faintest idea of the
-offence she had given. And Edgar went into the parlour after his cousin
-humming an air, with the freshness of the fields about him. The
-_insouciance_ of the one who had that day given away his living, and the
-disturbed and nervous trouble of the other, self-conscious to his very
-finger points, irritated by a constant notion that he was despised and
-lightly thought of, made the strangest possible contrast between them,
-notwithstanding a certain family resemblance in their looks.
-
-“I am staying to-night,” said Dr. Charles, with a certain abruptness,
-and that tone of irritated apology which mingled more or less in all he
-said, “because it is too late for me to get home.”
-
-“And I am staying,” said Edgar, “because it is too late to start, I must
-go to-morrow. I suppose our road lies so far in the same direction.”
-
-“You can get the London express at Glasgow, or even Greenock. I am going
-to Edinburgh.”
-
-“I have business in Edinburgh too,” said Edgar. He was so good-humoured,
-so friendly, that it was very hard to impress upon him the fact that his
-companion regarded him in no friendly light.
-
-“You will leave the loch with very pleasant feelings,” said Dr. Charles,
-“very different to the rest of us. Fortune has given you the
-superiority. What I would have done and couldn’t, you have been able to
-do. It is hard not to grudge a little at such an advantage. The man who
-has nothing feels himself always so inferior to the man who has
-something, however small.”
-
-“Do you think so?” said Edgar, “my experience would not lead me to that
-conclusion; and few people can have greater experience. Once I supposed
-myself to be rather rich. I tumbled down from that all in a moment, and
-now I have nothing at all; but it seems to me I am the same man as when
-I was a small potentate in my way, thinking rather better than worse of
-myself, if truth must be told,” he added with a laugh.
-
-“I wish I had your nothing at all,” said Dr. Charles, bitterly; “to us
-really poor people that is much, which seems little to you.”
-
-“Well,” said Edgar, with a shrug of his shoulders, “my poverty is
-absolute, not comparative now. And you have a profession, while I have
-none. On the whole, whatever there may be to choose between us, you must
-have the best of it; for to tell the truth I am in the dismal position
-of not knowing what to do.”
-
-“To do! what does it matter? you have enough to live upon.”
-
-“I have nothing to live upon,” said Edgar, with a smile.
-
-The young men looked at each other, one with a half-amusement in his
-face, the other full of wonder and consternation. “You don’t mean to
-say,” he asked, with a gasp, “that you have given her all?”
-
-“I have no income left,” said Edgar. “I have some debts, unfortunately,
-like most men. Now a man who has no income has no right to have any
-debts. That is about my sole maxim in political economy. I must pay them
-off, and then I shall have fifty pounds or so left.”
-
-“Good heavens!” said the other, “and you take this quite easily without
-anxiety----”
-
-“Anxiety will not put anything in my pocket, or teach me a profession,”
-said Edgar. “Don’t let’s talk of it, ‘Sufficient unto the day is the
-evil there-of.’”
-
-“But,” cried the other, almost wildly, “in that case all of us--I too--”
-
-“Don’t say anything more about it,” said Edgar. “We all act according to
-impulses. Perhaps it is well for those who have no impulses; but one
-cannot help one’s self. I should like to start by the early boat
-to-morrow morning, and before I go I have something to say to Jeanie.”
-
-“I fear I am in your way,” cried Dr. Charles, rising hastily, with the
-feeling, which was rather pleasant to him than otherwise, that at last
-he had a real reason for taking offence.
-
-“Oh, dear no, not at all. It is only to give her some advice about our
-old mother,” said Edgar; but they both reddened as they stood fronting
-each other, Charles from wild and genuine jealousy--Edgar, from a
-disagreeable and impatient consciousness of the silly speeches which had
-associated his name with that of Jeanie. He stood for a moment
-uncertain, and then his natural frankness broke forth, “Look here,” he
-said, “don’t let us make any mistake. I don’t know what your feelings
-may be about Jeanie, but mine are those of an elder brother--a very much
-elder brother,” he went on, with a laugh, “to a child.”
-
-“Every man says that, until the moment comes when he feels differently,”
-said Charles, in his uneasy didactic way.
-
-“Does he? then that moment will never come for me,” said Edgar,
-carelessly.
-
-Poor little Jeanie! she had opened the door, the two young men not
-observing her in their preoccupation, and Edgar’s words came fully into
-her heart like a volley of musketry. She stood behind them for a moment
-in the partial gloom--for they were standing between her and the light
-of the feeble candles--unnoticed, holding the door. Then noiselessly she
-stole back, closing it, her heart all riddled by that chance discharge,
-wounded and bleeding. Then she went to the kitchen softly, and called
-Bell. “My head’s sair,” she said, which on Loch Arroch means, my head
-aches. “Will you see if they want anything in the parlour, Bell?”
-
-“My poor lamb!” said Bell, “I wish it beena your heart that’s sair. Ye
-are as white as a ghost. Go to your bed, my bonnie woman, and I’ll see
-after them, Lord bless us, what a bit white face! Go to your bed, and
-dinna let your Granny see you like that. Oh ay! I’ll see to the two
-men.”
-
-Jeanie crept up-stairs like a mouse, noiseless in the dark staircase.
-She needed no light, and to hide herself seemed so much the most natural
-thing to do. White! Jeanie felt as if her face must be scorched as her
-heart seemed to be. Why should he have volunteered this profession of
-indifference? It seemed so much the worse because it was uncalled for.
-Did anyone say he cared for her? Had any one accused him of being “fond”
-of Jeanie? Shame seemed to take possession of the little soft creature.
-Had she herself done anything to put such a degrading idea into his
-mind? Why should he care for her? “I never asked him--I never wanted
-him,” poor Jeanie cried to herself.
-
-Edgar never knew the second great effect he had produced on this
-eventful day. When Jeanie appeared at the early breakfast before he set
-out next morning, he was honestly concerned to see how pale she looked.
-“My poor dear child, you are ill,” he cried, drawing her towards him,
-and his look of anxious kindness struck poor Jeanie like a blow.
-
-“I’m not ill. It’s my head. It’s nothing,” she said, starting away from
-him. Edgar looked at her with mild astonished eyes.
-
-“You are not vexed with me this last morning? Take care of the dear old
-mother, Jeanie--but I know you will do that--and write to me sometimes
-to say she is well; and talk of me sometimes, as you promised--you
-remember?”
-
-His kind friendly words broke Jeanie’s heart. “Oh, how can you look so
-pleased and easy in your mind!” she said, turning, as was natural, the
-irritation of her personal pain into the first possible channel, “when
-you know you are going away without a penny, for our sake--for her
-sake----”
-
-“And yours,” Edgar added cheerily. “That is what makes me easy in my
-mind.”
-
-And he smiled, and took both her hands, and kissed her on the forehead,
-a salutation which made little Scotch Jeanie--little used to such
-caresses--flame crimson with shame. Charles Murray looked on with sullen
-fury. He dared not do as much. This way of saying farewell was not
-cousinly or brotherly to him.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-A Railway Journey: The Scotch Express.
-
-
-The two young men set out together from Loch Arroch. The old lady whose
-children they both were, waved her handkerchief to them from her window
-as the steamer rustled down the loch, and round the windy corner of the
-stubble field into Loch Long. They stood on the deck, and gazed at the
-quiet scene they were leaving till the farmhouse and the ruin died out
-of sight. How peaceful it all looked in the bright but watery sunshine!
-The ivy waving softly from the walls of the ruin, the smoke rising blue
-from the roof of the farmhouse, which nestled under the shadow of the
-old castle, the stooks standing in the pale field glistening with
-morning dew. Bell stood at the door in her short petticoats, shading her
-eyes with one hand as she watched them, and old Mrs. Murray showed a
-smiling, mournful face at her window, and the long branches of the
-fuchsias waved and made salutations with all their crimson bells. Even
-Bell’s shadow had a distinct importance in the scene, which was so
-still--still as the rural country is between mountain and water, with
-mysterious shadows flitting in the silence, and strange ripples upon the
-beach. The scene was still more sweet from the shore, though not so
-entirely enveloped in this peaceable habitual calm; for great Benvohrlan
-was kept in constant life with moving clouds which crossed the sunshine;
-and the eyes of the spectators on the land did not disdain the bright,
-many-coloured boat, floating, as it seemed, between three elements--the
-water, the mountain, and the sky. The shadow-ship floated over the side
-of the shadow-hill among all the reflected shades; it floated double
-like the swan on St. Mary’s Lake, and it was hard to tell which was the
-reality and which the symbol. Such were the variations of the scene from
-the loch and from the shore.
-
-But though Bell was visible and Bell’s mistress, Jeanie was not to be
-seen. She had disappeared within the ruins of the Castle, and watched
-the boat from behind an old block of masonry, with eyes full of longing
-and sadness. Why had she been so harsh, so hard? Why had she not parted
-with him “friends?” What did it matter what he said, so long as he said
-that he looked upon her as an elder brother? Was it not better to be
-Edgar’s sister than any other man’s beloved? She cried, reflecting sadly
-that she had not been so kind, so gentle as she ought to this man who
-was so unlike all others. Like an elder brother--what more could she
-wish for? Thus poor little Jeanie began to dree her fate.
-
-The day was fine, notwithstanding the prophecy of “saft weather” with
-which all the observers of sea and sky in the West of Scotland keep up
-their character as weather prophets as Edgar and Charles Murray
-travelled to Edinburgh. There was no subject of quarrel between them,
-therefore they did not quarrel; indeed Edgar, for his part, was amused,
-when he was not pained, by his cousin’s perpetual self-consciousness and
-painful desire to keep up his profession of gentleman, and conduct
-himself in all details of behaviour as a gentleman should. The young
-Doctor nervously unbuttoned his over-coat, which was much more spruce
-and glossy than Edgar’s, when he observed that his companion, never a
-model of neatness or order, wore his loose. He looked with nervous
-observation at Edgar’s portmanteau, at the shape and size of his
-umbrella. Edgar had lived in the great world; he had been (or so at
-least his cousin thought) fashionable; therefore Dr. Charles gave a
-painful regard to all the minutiæ of his appearance. Thus a trim poor
-girl might copy a tawdry duchess, knowing no better--might, but seldom
-does, having a better instinct. But if any one had breathed into Charles
-Murray’s ear a suggestion of what he was consciously (yet almost against
-his will) doing, he would have forgiven an accusation of crime more
-readily. He knew his own weakness, and the knowledge made him wretched;
-but had any one else suspected it, that would have been the height of
-insult, and would have roused him to desperate passion.
-
-Thus they travelled together, holding but little communication. The
-young Doctor’s destination was one of the smaller stations before they
-reached Edinburgh, where Edgar saw, as the train approached, a graceful
-young woman, with that air of refinement which a slim and tall figure
-gives, but too far off to be recognizable, accompanied by a little
-girl--waiting by the roadside in a little open carriage, half phaeton,
-half gig.
-
-“Is that your sister?” he asked, taking off his hat, as the lady waved
-her hand towards them.
-
-“Yes,” said Dr. Charles, shortly, and he added, in his usual tone of
-apology, “a doctor can do nothing without a conveyance, and as I had to
-get one, and Margaret is so delicate, it was better to have something in
-which she could drive with me.”
-
-“Surely,” said Edgar, with some wonder at the appealing tone in which
-this half statement, half question was made. But a little sigh came from
-his heart, against his will, as he saw Charles Murray’s welcome, and
-felt himself rolled away into the cold, into the unknown, without any
-one to bear him company. He too had once had, or thought he had, a
-sister, and enjoyed for a short time that close, tender, and familiar
-friendship which only can exist between a young man and woman when they
-are thus closely related. Edgar, who was foolishly soft-hearted, had
-gone about the world ever since, missing this, without knowing what it
-was he missed. He was fond of the society of women, and he had been shut
-out from it; for he neither wished to marry, nor was rich enough so to
-indulge himself, and people with daughters, as he found, were not so
-anxious to invite a poor man, nor so complacent towards him as they had
-been when he was rich. To be sure he had met women as he had met men at
-the foreign towns which he had chiefly frequented during the aimless
-years just past; but these were chiefly old campaigners, with all the
-freshness dried out of them, ground down into the utmost narrowness of
-limit in which the mind is capable of being restrained, or else at the
-opposite extreme, liberated in an alarming way from all the decorums and
-prejudices of life. Neither of these classes were attractive, though
-they amused him, each in its way.
-
-But somehow the sight of his two cousins, brother and sister, gave him a
-pang which was all the sharper for being entirely unexpected. It made
-him feel his own forlornness and solitude, how cut off he was from all
-human solace and companionship. Into his ancient surroundings he could
-not return; and his present family, the only one which he had any claim
-upon, was distasteful beyond description. Even his grandmother and
-Jeanie, whom he had known longest, and with whom he felt a certain
-sympathy, were people so entirely out of his sphere, that his
-intercourse with them never could be easy nor carried on on equal terms.
-He admired Mrs. Murray’s noble character, and was proud to have been
-able to stand by her against her sordid relations; he even loved her in
-a way, but did not, could not adopt the ways of thinking, the manners
-and forms of existence, which were natural and seemly in the little
-farm-house.
-
-As for Jeanie, poor, gentle, pretty Jeanie! A slight flush came over
-Edgar’s face as her name occurred to him; he was no lady-killer, proud
-to think that he had awakened a warmer feeling than was safe for her in
-the girl’s heart. On the contrary, he was not only pained, but ashamed
-of himself for the involuntary consciousness which he never put into
-words, that perhaps it was better for Jeanie that he should go away. He
-dismissed the thought, feeling hot and ashamed. Was it some latent
-coxcombry on his part that brought such an idea into his head?
-
-His business in Edinburgh was of a simple kind, to see the lawyer who
-had prepared the papers for the transfer of his little income, and who,
-knowing his history, was curious and interested in him, asked him to
-dinner, and would have made much of the strange young man who had
-descended from the very height of prosperity, and now had denuded
-himself of the last humble revenue upon which he could depend.
-
-“I have ventured to express my disapproval, Mr. Earnshaw,” this good man
-had said; “but having done so, and cleared my conscience if--there is
-anything I can be of use to you in, tell me.”
-
-“Nothing,” said Edgar; “but a thousand thanks for the goodwill, which is
-better than anything.”
-
-Then he went away, declining the invitation, and walked about Edinburgh
-in the dreamy solitude which began to be habitual to him, friendly and
-social as his nature was. In the evening he dined alone in one of the
-Princes Street hotels, near a window which looked out upon the Castle
-and the old town, all glimmering with lights in the soft darkness, which
-was just touched with frost. The irregular twinkle of the lights
-scattered about upon the fine bank of towers and spires and houses
-opposite; the dark depth below, where dark trees rustled, and stray
-lights gleamed here and there; the stream of traffic always pouring
-through the street below, notwithstanding the picturesque landscape on
-the other side--all attracted Edgar with the charm which they exercise
-on every sensitive mind. When the bugle sounded low and sweet up in
-mid-air from the Castle, he started up as if that visionary note had
-been for him. The darkness and the lights, the new and the old, seemed
-to him alike a dream, and he not less a dream pursuing his way between
-them, not sure which was real and which fictitious in his own life;
-which present and which past. The bugle called him--to what? Not to the
-sober limits of duty, to obedience and to rest, as it called the
-unwilling soldiers out of their riots and amusements; but perhaps to as
-real a world still unknown to him, compassed--like the dark Castle,
-standing deep in undistinguishable, rustling trees--with mists and
-dream-like uncertainty. Who has ever sat at a dark window looking out
-upon the gleaming, darkling crest of that old Edinburgh, with the crown
-of St. Giles hovering over it in the blue, and the Castle half way up to
-heaven, without feeling something weird and mystical beyond words, in
-the call of the bugle, sudden, sweet, and penetrating, out of the
-clouds? What Edgar had to do after the call of this bugle was no deed of
-high emprise. He had no princess to rescue, no dragon to kill. He got up
-with that half-laugh at himself and his own fancies which was habitual
-to him, and paid his bill and collected his few properties, and went to
-the railway. Other people were beginning to go to bed; the shop windows
-were closing; the lights mounting higher from story to story. But a
-stream of people and carriages was pouring steadily down into the
-hollow, bound like himself, for the London Express. Edgar walked up
-naturally, mechanically to the window at which firstclass tickets were
-being issued. But while he waited his turn, his eye and his ear were
-attracted by a couple of women in the dress of an English Sisterhood,
-who were standing in front of him, holding a close conversation. One of
-them, at least, was in the nun’s costume of severe black and white; the
-other, a young slim figure, wore a black cloak and close bonnet, and was
-deeply veiled; but was not a “Sister,” though in dress closely
-approaching the garb. Edgar’s eyes however were not clever enough to
-make out this difference. The younger one seemed to him to have made
-some timid objection to the second class.
-
-“Second class, my dear!” said the elder. “I understand first class, and
-I understand third; but second is neither one thing nor another. No, my
-dear. If we profess to give up forms and ceremonies and the pomps of
-this world, let us do it thoroughly, or not at all. If you take second
-class, you will be put in with your friend’s maid and footman. No, no,
-no; third class is the thing.”
-
-“To be sure. What am I thinking of?” said Edgar to himself, with his
-habitual smile. “Of course, third class is the thing.”
-
-It had been from pure inadvertence that he had been about to take the
-most expensive place, nothing else having occurred to him. I do not know
-whether I can make the reader understand how entirely without
-bitterness, and, indeed, with how much amusement Edgar contemplated
-himself in his downfall and penniless condition, and what a joke he
-found it. For the moment rather a good joke--for, indeed, he had
-suffered nothing, his _amour propre_ not being any way involved, and no
-immediate want of a five-pound note or a shilling having yet happened to
-him to ruffle his composure. He kept the two Sisters in sight as he went
-down the long stairs to the railway with his third-class ticket. He
-thought it possible that they might be exposed to some annoyance, two
-women in so strange a garb, and in a country where Sisterhoods have not
-yet developed, and where the rudeness of the vulgar is doubly rude,
-perhaps in contrast with, perhaps in consequence of (who knows?) the
-general higher level of education on which we Scotch plume ourselves.
-They had given him his first lesson in practical contempt of the world;
-he would give them the protection of his presence, at least, in case of
-any annoyance. Not to give them any reason, however, to suppose that he
-was following them, he waited for some minutes before he took his seat
-in a corner of the same carriage in which they had established
-themselves. He took off his hat, foreign fashion, as he went into the
-railway carriage (Edgar had many foreign fashions). At sight of him
-there seemed a little flutter of interest between the Sisters, and when
-he took his seat they bent their heads together, and talked long in
-whispers. The result of this was that the two changed seats, the younger
-one taking the further corner of the same seat on which he had placed
-himself; while the elder, a cheerful middle-aged woman, whose comely
-countenance became the close white cap, and whose pleasant smile did it
-honour, sat opposite to her companion.
-
-I cannot say that this arrangement pleased Edgar, for the other was
-young--a fact which betrayed itself rather by some subtle atmosphere
-about her than by any visible sign--and his curiosity was piqued and
-himself interested to see the veiled maiden. But, after all, the
-disappointment was not great, and he leaned back in the hard corner,
-saying to himself that the third class might be the thing, but was not
-very comfortable, without any particular dissatisfaction.
-
-Two other travellers, a woman and a boy, took their places opposite to
-him. They were people from London, who had gone to Scotland for the
-boy’s holidays after some illness, and they brought a bag of sandwiches
-with them and a bottle of bad sherry, of which they ate and drank as
-soon as the train started, preparing themselves for the night. Then
-these two went to sleep and snored, and Edgar, too, went partially to
-sleep, dozing between the stations, lying back in the corner which was
-so hard, and seeing the dim lamp sway, and the wooden box in which he
-was confined, creak, and jolt, and roll about as the train rushed on,
-clamping and striding like a giant through the dark. What a curious,
-prolonged dream it was--the dim, uncertain light swaying like a light at
-sea, the figures dimly seen, immoveable, or turning uneasily like
-spectres in a fever, veiled figures, with little form visible under the
-swaying of the lamp; and now and then the sudden jar and pause, the
-unearthly and dissipated gleam from some miserable midnight station,
-where the porters ran about pale and yawning, and the whole sleepy,
-weary place did its best to thrust them on, and get rid of the intruder.
-
-Just before morning, however, in the cold before the dawning, Edgar had
-a real dream, a dream of sleep, and not of waking, so vivid that it came
-into his mind often afterwards with a thrill of wonder. He dreamt that
-he saw standing by him the figure of her who had touched his heart in
-his earlier years, of Gussy, who might have been his wife had all gone
-well, and of whom he had thought more warmly and constantly, perhaps,
-since she became impossible to him, than when she was within his reach.
-She seemed to come to him out of a cloud, out of a mist, stooping over
-him with a smile; but when he tried to spring up, to take the hand which
-she held out, some icy restraint came upon him--he could not move,
-chains of ice seemed to bind his hands and arrest even his voice in his
-throat. While he struggled to rise, the beautiful figure glided away,
-saying, “After, after--but not yet!” and--strange caprice of
-fancy--dropped over her face the heavy veil of the young sister who had
-excited his curiosity, and who was seated in the other corner of this
-same hard wooden bench, just as Edgar, struggling up, half awake, found
-that his railway wrapper had dropped from his knees, and that he was
-indeed almost motionless with cold.
-
-The grey dawn was breaking, coldest and most miserable hour of the
-twenty-four, and the other figures round him were nodding in their
-sleep, or swayed about with the jarring movement of the carriage.
-Strange, Edgar thought to himself, how fancy can pick up an external
-circumstance, and weave it into the fantastic web of dreams! How
-naturally his dream visitor had taken the aspect of the last figure his
-musing eyes had closed upon! and how naturally, too, the physical chill
-of the moment had shaped itself into a mental impossibility--a chain of
-fate. He smiled at the combination as he wrapped himself shivering in
-his rug. The slight little figure in the other corner was, he thought,
-awake too, she was so perfectly still. The people on the other side
-dozed and nodded, changing their positions with the jerking movement of
-restless sleep, but she was still, moving only with the swaying of the
-carriage. Her veil was still down, but one little white hand came forth
-out of the opening of her black cloak. What a pity that so pretty a hand
-should not be given to some man to help him along the road of life,
-Edgar thought to himself with true English sentiment, and then paused to
-remember that English sisterhoods could take no irrevocable vows, at
-least, in law. He toyed with this idea, he could not tell why, giving
-far more attention to the veiled figure than half-a-dozen unveiled women
-would have procured from him.
-
-Foolish and short-sighted mortal! He dreamed and wondered at his dream,
-and made his ingenious little theory and amused explanation to himself
-of the mutual reaction of imagination and sensation. How little he knew
-what eyes were watching him from behind the safe shelter of that heavy
-black veil!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-Alone.
-
-
-Edgar did not well know where to go on his arrival in London. He knew
-nothing about London except in its most expensive regions, and the only
-place to which he could direct the driver of the cab into which he
-jumped, was the chambers in Piccadilly which he had occupied in his
-earlier days. He said to himself “For a day or two it cannot matter
-where I live;” and, besides, the season was over and everything cheap,
-or so, at least, Edgar thought.
-
-The first thing he had to do was to see that his lawyers had carried out
-his directions and paid his debts--the number of which appalled him--out
-of his capital. Decidedly it was time that he should do something, and
-should shake himself out of those habits of a rich man, which had, in
-these three years, though he had no idea of it, compromised him to the
-extent of half his little fortune. This debt he felt he could not trifle
-with. The more indifferent he was about money, and the better able he
-was to do without it, the more necessity was there for the clearing off
-to begin with, of everything in the shape of debt. After all was paid,
-and the residue settled on the old lady at Loch Arroch, there remained
-to him about a hundred pounds in the bank, besides the two ten-pound
-notes which he had in his pocket-book. “I must not touch the money in
-the bank,” he said to himself, with a prudence which contrasted
-beautifully with his other extravagances, “that must remain as something
-to fall back upon. Suppose, for instance, I should be ill,” Edgar
-reasoned with himself, always with a delicious suppressed consciousness
-of the joke involved under the utter gravity and extreme reasonableness
-of his own self-communings, “how necessary it would be to have something
-to fall back upon!” When he had made this little speech to himself, he
-subsided into silence, and it was not until half-an-hour later that he
-permitted himself to laugh.
-
-Both of his own suggestions seemed so oddly impossible to him. To be
-ill--he, in whose veins the blood ran so lightly, so tunefully, his
-pulse beating with the calm and continued strength of perfect harmony;
-or to want a pound or two--he who had possessed unlimited credit and
-means which he had never exhausted all his life. The change was so great
-that it affected him almost childishly--as a poor man might be affected
-by coming into a sudden fortune, or as a very young wife is sometimes
-affected by the bewildering and laughable, yet certain fact, that she,
-the other day only a little girl in pinafores, is now at the head of a
-house, free to give as many orders as she pleases, and sure to be
-obeyed. The extreme humour of the situation is the first thing that
-strikes a lively girl, under these circumstances, and it was the humour
-of it which struck Edgar: a fact, perhaps, which may lower his character
-in the reader’s eyes. But that, alas, I cannot help, for such as he was,
-such I must show him, and his character had many defects. Often had he
-been upbraided that he did not feel vicissitudes which looked like ruin
-and destruction to minds differently constituted. He did not--he was the
-most _insouciant_, the most care-hating of men. Up to this period of his
-life he had found the means, somehow, of getting a smile, or some gleam
-of fun, out of everything that happened. When he could not manage this
-the circumstances were very strange indeed, and I suppose he felt it;
-but at all events, in such cases, he kept his failure to himself.
-
-As soon as he had refreshed himself and breakfasted, he went out to see
-his lawyer, who received him with that air of melancholy disappointment
-which distinguishes all agents who are compelled to carry out what they
-think the foolish will of their principals: but who submitted the
-accounts to him, which showed that his directions had been obeyed,
-explaining everything in a depressed and despondent voice, full of the
-sense of injury.
-
-“I am compelled to say, Mr. Earnshaw,” said this good man, “that, as you
-have paid so little attention to our wishes, I and my firm would
-hence-forward have declined to take charge of your business
-transactions, if it had been the least likely that you would have had
-any more business to do; but as this is not possible, or at least
-probable--”
-
-“You will continue to do it,” said Edgar, laughing. “I hope so; it would
-be kind of you. No, I don’t suppose I shall have much more business to
-do.”
-
-“And may I ask without offence,” said Mr. Parchemin, who was an old
-friend of Edgar’s old friend, Mr. Farqakerley, and had taken up the
-foolish young fellow on the recommendation of that excellent and
-long-established family solicitor. “May I ask how, now you have given
-away all your money, you mean to live?”
-
-“I must work,” said Edgar, cheerfully.
-
-“Clearly; but what can you work at?”
-
-“You have hit the difficulty exactly,” said Edgar, laughing. “To tell
-the truth, I don’t know. What do you suppose I could do best? There must
-be many men in my position, left in the lurch by circumstances--and they
-must have some way of providing for themselves. What do they generally
-do?”
-
-“Go to the dogs,” said Mr. Parchemin, succinctly, for he was still
-offended, and had not yet forgiven his impracticable client.
-
-“I sha’n’t do that,” said Edgar as briefly--and with, for the first
-time, and for one of the first times in his life, a shade of offence on
-his face.
-
-“There are a good many other things they try to do,” said Mr. Parchemin;
-“for instance they take pupils--most men feel themselves capable of that
-when they are driven to it; or they get into a public office, if they
-have interest and can pass the examination; or they read for the bar if
-they have friends who can support them for a dozen years; or they write
-for the papers--”
-
-“Stop a little,” said Edgar; “I have no friends to support me--I can’t
-write--I don’t think I could pass an examination--”
-
-“After twenty, and unless you’ve been crammed for the purpose, I don’t
-know anyone who could,” said Mr. Parchemin, solemnly.
-
-“And I doubt whether I could teach anything that any man in his senses
-would wish to know.”
-
-“I doubt it also,” said the lawyer, “judging, if you will pardon me for
-saying so, by your guidance of your own affairs.”
-
-“But a tutor does not teach boys how to guide their own affairs,” said
-Edgar, recovering his sense of the joke.
-
-“That is true too. A man may be very wise in giving good advice, and
-admirable on paper, and yet be fool enough in other respects. There was
-Goldsmith, for instance. But why shouldn’t you write? Plenty of stupid
-fellows write in the papers. You are not stupid--”
-
-“Thanks,” cried Edgar, laughing.
-
-“Of course, you have read what Thackeray says on that subject--in
-‘Pendennis,’ you know--how it is all a knack that anybody can learn; and
-it pays very well, I have always heard. There is no sort of nonsense
-that people will not read. I don’t see why you should not try the
-newspapers; if you know any one on the staff of the _Times_, for
-instance--that is a splendid opening--or even the _News_ or the
-_Telegraph_.”
-
-“But, alas, I don’t know anyone.”
-
-“Do you mean to say you never met any of those press fellows? when you
-were a great man, you know, when you were fashionable? At your club, for
-instance? You must have met some of them. Think! Why, they go
-everywhere, it’s their trade; they must have news. And, by the way, they
-have made their own of you first and last; the Arden estate, and the
-law-suit that was to be, and the noble behaviour of the unfortunate
-gentleman, &c., &c. You have figured in many a paragraph. Some of them
-you must know.”
-
-“Newmarch used to dabble in literature,” said Edgar, doubtfully.
-
-“Newmarch--Lord Newmarch! Why, that is better still. He’s in the
-Ministry, a rising young fellow, with the Manchester interest, and a few
-hundred thousands a-year behind him. He’s your very man; he’ll get you
-something; a school-inspectorship, or something of that sort, at the
-very least. What is he, by-the-bye? Education and that sort of thing is
-his hobby, so, of course, he’s put somewhere, like Dogberry, where there
-shall be no occasion for such vanities. Ah! I thought so; Foreign
-Office. He knows about as much of foreign politics, my dear Sir, as my
-office boy. That’s why he’s put in; that’s the present people’s way.”
-
-“I don’t think I should like to ask a favour of Newmarch,” said Edgar,
-with hesitation; and there suddenly rose in his mind a spiritual
-presence which he had never before recognised nor expected to see, a
-something which was Pride. He himself was so unaffectedly surprised by
-the apparition that he did not know how to encounter it; but sat silent,
-wondering, and unable to understand the new dilemma in which he found
-himself. No; Newmarch was the last person of whom he should like to ask
-a favour, he said to himself.
-
-“Is there any one else whom you would like better?” said Mr. Parchemin,
-somewhat satirically. “So far as we have got, Lord Newmarch’s is much
-the most practicable aid you could get. Would you prefer to ask your
-favour from anyone else?”
-
-“You are quite right,” said Edgar, rousing himself. “The fact is, I
-don’t like asking favours at all. I suppose I expected the world to come
-to me and offer me a living, hat in hand. Of course, it is absurd.”
-
-“Lord Newmarch is probably too high and mighty to prefer a friend unless
-he is sure it will be for the public interest, etc.,” said Mr.
-Parchemin. “He will say as much, at least, you may be sure of that. And
-I advise you to be prepared for a great deal of this sort of lofty
-rubbish; but don’t pay any attention to it. Don’t take offence.”
-
-Edgar laughed; but the laugh was unexplainable to anyone but himself. He
-had not been in the habit of taking offence; he had never borne anybody
-a grudge, so far as he knew, in his life; but along with the new-born
-pride which had arisen in him, was the faculty of offence coming too?
-These were the first fruits of poverty, spectres which had never
-crossed his sunny pathway before. And though he laughed, not with
-amusement, but in a kind of dazed acknowledgment of the incongruity of
-things, the sense of the joke began to fail in Edgar’s mind. The
-whimsical, pleasant fun of the whole proceeding disappeared before those
-apparitions of Anger and Pride. Alas, was it possible that such a vulgar
-material change as the loss of money could bring such evil things into
-being? His friendly, gentle soul was appalled. He laughed with pain, not
-with amusement, because of the strange unlikeness of this new state of
-mind to anything he had known before.
-
-“Newmarch, I suppose, is not in town; he can’t be in town at this time
-of the year,” he said, with a momentary hope of postponing his
-sufferings at least.
-
-“Ah, my dear Sir,” said the lawyer, “he is one of the new brooms that
-sweep clean. Besides, there is something going on between Russia and
-Prussia that wants watching, and it’s Lord Newmarch’s business to be on
-the spot. If you’ll take my advice, you’ll see him at once. Before the
-season begins he can’t have so many applicants. Go, if you’ll take my
-advice, at once.”
-
-Edgar winced, as a man cannot but wince who is thrown into the class of
-“applicants” at a blow. Why shouldn’t he be an applicant? he said to
-himself as he went out. Better men than he had been obliged to kick
-their heels in great men’s anterooms; but fortunately the reign of
-patrons was so far over now. Was it over? While human nature continued
-could it ever be over? or would it not be necessary as long as the world
-lasted that there should be some men holding out the hand to ask, and
-others to give? Not so very long ago Lord Newmarch had come to him,
-Edgar, hat in hand, so to speak, wanting not place or living, but the
-good graces of a rich and fair young lady with whom her brother might
-advance him. Her brother! There gleamed up before Edgar, as he walked
-through the dusty October streets, the sudden glimpse he had seen at the
-roadside station of Margaret waiting for her brother. Alas, yes! Most
-people had sisters, if not something still dearer, to greet them, to
-hear the account of all they had done, and consult what remained to do.
-I do not know how it was that at this moment something brought into
-Edgar’s mind the two ladies who had travelled with him from Scotland.
-Probably the mere word Sister was enough; or perhaps it was because one
-of them, the elder, was just turning the corner of the street, and met
-him two minutes after. She smiled with a momentary hesitation (she was
-forty at the least), and then stopped to speak.
-
-“I had not a chance to thank you for getting our cab and looking after
-our luggage. It was very kind; but my young friend was in a great
-hurry.”
-
-“She was, I suppose, of your sisterhood, too,” said Edgar, with a
-curiosity which was quite unjustifiable, and for which he could not
-account.
-
-“Who? Miss ----. Oh! dear no,” said the good-humoured Sister. “She is
-what we call an associate, and does what she can for our charges, the
-poor people--in something like our dress; but it is far from being the
-dress of a professed sister,” the excellent woman added, adjusting her
-cross and collar. “I daresay you will meet her some day in society, and
-you need not tell her great friends that a Sister of the Charity House
-made her travel third class. We always do it; but fine people do not
-like to know.”
-
-“I should have to betray myself,” said Edgar laughing, “if I betrayed
-you.”
-
-“That is true,” said the Sister. “If you ever pass by the Charity House
-at Amerton ask for Sister Susan, and I shall be glad to show you over
-it. I assure you it is something to see.”
-
-“I shall come some day or other,” said Edgar, not quite knowing what he
-said. Who was she then, the girl with the veil who kept herself shrouded
-from him? She had not seemed _farouche_ or unfriendly. She had waited
-quietly while he did what he could for them at the railway station. She
-had even touched his hand lightly as he put her into the cab; but there
-had seemed to be three or four veils between him and her countenance.
-During all the long journey he had seen of her nothing but the little
-white hand stealing from under the cover of her cloak; but somehow his
-dream came back to him, and wove itself in with the semblance of this
-veiled stranger. Absurd! but sometimes an absurdity is pleasant and
-comforting, and so it was in this case. He could not have said what
-fancies came into his head, or if he had any fancies. No, he was past
-dreaming, past all that kind of boyish nonsense, he said to himself. But
-yet the recollection of the veiled maiden was pleasant to him, he could
-scarcely have told why.
-
-Lord Newmarch was at his office, and he was ready after some time to see
-his visitor, whom he greeted with sufficient friendliness and good
-feeling. Lord Newmarch had been very democratic in his day; he had taken
-workmen in their working clothes to dine with him at his club in his hot
-youth, and had made them very uncomfortable, and acquired a delightful
-reputation himself for advanced ideas; which was a very great thing for
-a new lord, whose grandfather had been a small shopkeeper, to do. But
-somehow he was a great deal more at his ease with the working men than
-with his former friend and equal, now reduced to a perfectly incredible
-destitution of those ordinary circumstances which form the very clothing
-and skin of most men. Edgar was in soul and being, no doubt, exactly the
-same as ever; he had the same face, the same voice, the same thought and
-feelings. Had he lost only his money Lord Newmarch would not have felt
-the difficulty half so great, for indeed a great many people do
-(whatever the world may say) lose their money, without being dropped or
-discredited by society. But something a great deal more dreadful had
-happened in Edgar’s case. He had lost, so to speak, himself; and how to
-behave towards a man who a little while ago had been his equal, nay his
-superior, and now was not his equal, nor anybody’s, yet the same man,
-puzzled the young statesman beyond expression. This is a very different
-sort of thing from entertaining a couple of working men to the much
-astonishment (delightful homage to one’s peculiarities) of one’s club.
-The doctrine that all men are brothers comes in with charming piquancy
-in the one case, but is very much less easy to deal with in the other.
-Lord Newmarch got up with some perturbation from his seat when Edgar
-came in. He shook him warmly by the hand, and said,
-
-“Oh, Arden--ah, Earnshaw,” looking at the card. “I beg your pardon. I am
-delighted to see you.”
-
-And then they both sat down and looked at each other after the warmth of
-this accost, and found, as so often happens, that they had nothing more
-to say. I do not know a more embarrassing position in ordinary
-circumstances, even when there is no additional and complicating
-embarrassment. You meet your old friend, you shake hands, you commit
-yourself to an expression of delight--and then you are silent. He has
-sailed away from you and you from him since you last met, and there is
-nothing to be said between you, beyond that first unguarded and uncalled
-for warmth of salutation, the emblem of an intimacy past. This is how
-Lord Newmarch accosted Edgar; and Edgar accepted the salutation with a
-momentary glow at his breast. And then they sat down and looked at each
-other; they had given forth all the feeling they had toward each other,
-and how could they express sentiments which had no existence? They had
-to glide involuntarily into small talk about the empty state of town,
-and the new Minister’s devotion to business, and the question between
-Prussia and Russia which he had to keep at his post to watch. Lord
-Newmarch allowed, with dignified resignation, that it was hard upon him,
-and that an Under Secretary of State has much that is disagreeable to
-bear; and then he added politely, but thinking to himself--oh, how much
-easier were two, nay half-a-dozen working-men, than this!--an inquiry as
-to the nature of his old friend’s occupation. “What,” said the
-statesman, crossing and uncrossing his legs two or three times in
-succession to get the easiest position, and with a look at his shoes
-which expressed eloquently all the many events that had passed since
-their last meeting, “What are you doing yourself?”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-A Noble Patron.
-
-
-When two men who have met in careless intercourse, without any
-possibility of obliging or being obliged, except so far as interchange
-of courtesy goes, come suddenly together in relations so changed, the
-easy question, “what are you doing?” spoken by the one whose position
-has not altered, to the one who has suffered downfall, has a new world
-of significance in it, of tacit encouragement or repulsion of kindly or
-adverse meaning. It means either “Can I help you?” or, “Don’t think of
-asking me for help.” If the downfallen one has need of aid and
-patronage, the faintest inflection of voice thrills him with expectation
-or disappointment--and even if he is independent, it is hard if he does
-not get a sting of mortification out of the suspected benevolence or
-absence of it. Edgar listened to Lord Newmarch’s questions, with a
-sudden rising in his mind of many sentiments quite unfamiliar to him. He
-was ashamed--though he had nothing to be ashamed of--angry, though no
-offence had been given him--and tingled with excitement for which there
-was no reason. How important it had become to him all at once that this
-other man, for whom he felt no particular respect, should be favourable
-to him, and how difficult to reconcile himself to the process of asking,
-he who had never done anything but give!
-
-“I am doing nothing,” he said, after a momentary pause, which seemed
-long to him, but which Lord Newmarch did not so much as notice, “and to
-tell the truth, I had a great mind to come cap in hand to you, to ask
-for something. I want occupation--and to speak frankly, a living at the
-same time. Not pay without work, but yet pay.”
-
-“To be sure,” said Lord Newmarch; but his countenance fell a little. A
-new applicant cannot but appear a natural enemy to every official
-personage noted for high-mindedness, and a sublime superiority to jobs.
-“I should think something might be found for you--in one department or
-other. The question is what would you like--or perhaps--what could you
-do?”
-
-“I can do anything a man can usually do, who has never done anything in
-his life,” said Edgar, trying to laugh. “You know how little that is--a
-great deal that is absolutely useless--nothing that is much good.”
-
-“Yes,” said Lord Newmarch, looking much more grave than his applicant
-did, whose levity he had always disapproved of. “It is very unfortunate
-that what we call the education of a gentleman should be so utterly
-unpractical. And, as you are aware, all our clerkships now-a-days are
-disposed of by competitive examination. I do not commit myself as to its
-satisfactory character as a test of capacity--there are very different
-opinions I know on that subject; but the fact is one we must bow to.
-Probably you would not care at your age to submit to such an ordeal?”
-
-“I don’t care what I submit to,” said Edgar, which was totally untrue,
-for his blood was boiling in the most irrational way, at the thought
-that this man whom he had laughed at so often, should be a Minister of
-State, while he himself was weighing the probabilities of securing a
-clerkship in the great man’s office. Nothing could be more wrong or
-foolish, for to be sure Lord Newmarch had worked for his position, and
-had his father’s wealth and influence behind him; but he had not
-generally impressed upon his acquaintances a very profound respect for
-his judgment. “But I don’t think I could pass any examination,” he added
-with an uneasy laugh.
-
-“Few men can, without special preparation,” said the Under Secretary,
-whose face grew gradually longer and longer. “Do you know I think the
-best thing I can do will be to give you a note to the Home Secretary,
-who is a very good friend of mine, Lord Millboard. You must have met him
-I should think--somewhere--in--”
-
-“Better days,” said Edgar, struck by a sudden perception of the
-ludicrous. Yes, that was the phrase--he had seen better days; and his
-companion felt the appropriateness of it, though he hesitated to employ
-the word.
-
-“Yes, indeed; I am sure no one was ever more regretted,” said Lord
-Newmarch, spreading before him a sheet of note-paper with a huge
-official stamp. “I don’t think Arden half fills your place. All his
-interest goes to the other side. You hear I suppose sometimes from your
-sis--I mean from Mrs. Arden? What kind of post shall I say you wish to
-have?”
-
-“Say out the word you were going to say,” said Edgar, “my sister! I have
-not seen anyone who knew her for ages. No, I thought it best not to keep
-up any correspondence. It might have grown a burden to her; but it does
-me good to hear you say my sister. How is she looking? Is she happy? It
-is so long since I have heard even the name of Clare.”
-
-“Mrs. Arden is quite well, I believe,” said Lord Newmarch doubtfully,
-not knowing whether “the family” might quite like inquiries to be made
-for her by her quondam brother. He felt almost as a man does who is
-caught interfering in domestic strife, and felt that Clare’s husband
-might possibly take it badly. “She has a couple of babies of course you
-know. She looked very well when I saw her last. Happy! yes, I suppose
-so--as everybody is happy. In the meantime, please, what must I say to
-Lord Millboard? Shall I recall to him your--former position? And what
-shall I say you would like to have? He has really a great deal of
-patronage; and can do much more for you if he likes than I.”
-
-“Tell him I have seen better days,” said Edgar with forlorn gaiety, “I
-have met him, but I never ventured to approach so great a potentate.
-Tell him I am not very particular what kind of work I do, so long as it
-is something to live by. Tell him--but to be sure, if you introduce me
-to him I can do all that myself.”
-
-“That is true,” said Lord Newmarch with a little sigh of relief, and he
-began to write his note. When, however, he had got two or three lines
-written in his large hand, he resumed talking, though his pen still ran
-over the paper. “You have been abroad I heard. Perhaps you can tell me
-what is the feeling in Germany about the proposed unification? I am
-rather new to my post, and to tell the truth it is not the post I should
-have chosen; but in the service of the country one cannot always follow
-one’s favourite path. ‘A gentleman of high breeding and unblemished
-character, whose judgment could be relied upon,’ that will do, I think.
-Millboard should find something to suit you if any one can. But to
-return to what we were talking about. I should very much like to have
-your opinion as an impartial observer, of the attitude of Bavaria and
-the rest, and how they take Bismarck’s scheme?”
-
-“Does not the principle of competitive examination exist in Lord
-Millboard’s department?” said Edgar.
-
-“Not to the same extent,” said Newmarch. “He has always a great deal in
-his power. A word from Millboard goes a long way; he has a hand
-officially or non-officially in a great many things. For instance, I
-like to consult him myself before making an important appointment; he
-knows everything. He might get you some commissionership or other. Some
-of them are very good things; a literary man got one just the other day,
-by Millboard’s influence. Did you read for the bar? No? Ah, that’s a
-pity. But you might, perhaps, be made an inspector of schools; very high
-qualifications are not required for such an appointment. By-the-by, now
-that I think of it,” he continued, pausing after he had folded his
-letter, and looking up, “you were brought up abroad? You can speak all
-the modern languages; you don’t object to travel. I believe, after all,
-you are the very man I want.”
-
-Here he paused, and Edgar waited too, attentive and trying to be amused.
-As what did the great man want him? As courier for a travelling party?
-While Lord Newmarch pondered, Edgar, puzzled and not very much delighted
-with his position, had hard ado to keep just as quiet and respectful as
-became a man seeking his living. At last the Minister spoke.
-
-“What I was thinking of,” he said, “was the post of Queen’s Messenger.
-You know what that is? It is not badly paid, and the life is amusing. I
-cannot tell you how important it would be to me to have a man I could
-thoroughly trust in such a position. You would be simply invaluable to
-me; I could rely upon you for telling me how people were really thinking
-in foreign capitals. I cannot, of course, in my position, travel about
-as a private person can, and there are a great many things I am most
-anxious to get up.”
-
-Here he paused for some reply; but what could Edgar reply? Lord Newmarch
-was not thinking of him, but of his own need of information. Should the
-applicant distract the Minister’s thoughts back from this greater
-channel to that of his own private case? or should he throw his own
-case, as it were, overboard, and give all his sympathy to the
-Under-Secretary’s elevated needs? The position was comical, but perhaps
-Edgar was not sufficiently at ease in his mind to see its comic side.
-
-“You see how important it is,” Lord Newmarch said, very gravely, looking
-at Edgar for sympathy; “everything depends upon genuine
-information--what the people are thinking, not the _on dits_ that fly
-about in diplomatic circles. My dear--eh?--Earnshaw,” he cried, with
-enthusiasm, and a glance at Edgar’s card, “I can’t tell you how much use
-you might be to me.”
-
-Edgar could not restrain a hasty laugh, which, however, had not much
-enjoyment in it. “I am delighted to hear it,” he said.
-
-“Your name shall be put upon the list directly,” said Lord Newmarch.
-“One of our men, I know, talks of resigning; and the very first vacancy,
-I think I may almost say, without further reflection, shall be yours.
-What are you going to do with yourself for the autumn? I leave town next
-week, I hope, but I shall be back before Christmas; and if you don’t
-hear from me by that time----”
-
-“Before Christmas!” cried Edgar; he could not prevent his voice from
-expressing a little dismay. What was he to do till Christmas? Live upon
-his two ten-pound notes? or break into his precious little capital?
-or---- The situation appalled him. I suppose he thought, having once
-found something which he could be so very useful in, that it was in
-Newmarch’s power to give him an appointment at once.
-
-“Of course,” said Newmarch, benignantly, “if you are in the country,
-don’t come to town on purpose. Any time in spring would probably do; but
-if you don’t hear from me in a few months, come and see me. When so much
-important business is passing through one’s hands, a little thing--and
-especially a personal matter--is apt to slip out of one’s head.”
-
-“To be sure,” said Edgar, rising hastily, “and I am taking up, about a
-mere personal matter, your valuable time, which belongs to the nation.”
-
-“Oh, don’t apologise. I am delighted to see you. And you can’t think of
-how much use you might be to me,” said the great man, earnestly, shaking
-hands with the small one, impressing upon him, almost with tears in his
-eyes, the importance he might come to, “if this man will only be so good
-as to resign.”
-
-Edgar went away with a singing in his ears, which he could scarcely
-understand at first. In all his kindly careless life there had been so
-little occasion for that thrilling of the blood to the brain, in defence
-of the Self assailed, which now at once stimulated, and made him dizzy.
-He scarcely knew what it meant, neither could he realize the bitterness
-that came into his heart against his will, a most unusual guest. He went
-out from Lord Newmarch’s office, and walked long and far before he
-quite came to himself. Walking has often a similar effect to that which
-the poet tells us rhyme has, “the sad mechanic exercise, like dull
-narcotics numbing pain.” When he gradually emerged from the haze and
-heat of this first disagreeable encounter, Edgar took characteristic
-refuge in the serio-comic transformation which the whole matter
-underwent in Lord Newmarch’s hands. Instead of a simple question of
-employment for Edgar Earnshaw, it became the great man’s own business, a
-way of informing him as to the points in which his education was
-defective. Finding employment for Edgar interested him moderately; but
-finding information for himself, fired his soul;--the comical part of
-the whole being that he expected the other, whose personal interests
-were so closely concerned, to feel this superior view of the question as
-deeply as he himself did, and to put it quite above the vulgar
-preliminary of something to live by. To serve Lord Newmarch, and through
-him the Government, and through the Government the country, was not
-that, Edgar asked himself at last, feeling finally able to laugh again,
-a much more important matter than securing bread and butter for our
-thriftless man? As soon as he had laughed he was himself again, and the
-after processes of thought were more easy.
-
-By-and-by he persuaded himself that on the whole Newmarch had behaved
-quite naturally, and not unkindly. “As a matter of course,” he said to
-himself, “every man’s own affairs are more interesting to him than any
-other man’s.” It was quite natural that Newmarch should think of his
-own business as most important. It _was_ the most important, Edgar
-continued, in his ingenious and peculiar style of reasoning, since it
-was the business of the country--whereas Edgar’s business was only his
-own, and of importance to nobody but himself. Equally, of course, it was
-more important to secure a good public servant, even in the humble
-capacity of a Queen’s Messenger, than to secure bread and butter for
-Edgar Earnshaw; and, on the whole, there was a great deal to be said for
-Newmarch, who was a good fellow, and had been generally friendly, and
-not too patronizing. The only wormwood that remained in his thoughts by
-the time evening approached, and he turned his steps towards his club in
-search of dinner, concerned the long delay which apparently must occur
-before this promised advancement could reach him. Before Christmas;
-Edgar had very little idea how much a man could live upon in London; but
-he did not think it very likely that he could get through two months
-upon twenty pounds. And even if that should be possible, with his little
-knowledge and careless habits, what should he do in the meantime? Should
-he linger about town, doing nothing, waiting for this possible
-appointment, which might, perhaps, never come to anything? This was a
-course of procedure which prudence and inclination, and so much
-experience as he possessed, alike condemned. Hanging on, waiting till
-something should turn up! Was this all he was good for? he asked
-himself, with a flush on his face. If only the other man would be so
-obliging as to resign, or to be killed in a railway accident, or
-swamped in a steamboat, or to take some foreign fever or other, of the
-well-known kinds, which haunt those places to which Queen’s Messengers
-are habitually sent! This was a lugubrious prayer, and I don’t think the
-actual Queen’s Messenger against whom the anathema was addressed would
-have been much the worse for Edgar’s ill-wishes.
-
-These virulent and malignant sentiments helped him to another laugh, and
-this was one of the cases in which for a man of his temperament to laugh
-was salvation. What a good thing it is in all circumstances! and from
-how many troubles, angers and ridiculousnesses this blessed power of
-laughter saves us! Man, I suppose, among the fast narrowing list of his
-specialities, still preserves that of being the only animal who laughs.
-Dogs sometimes sneer; but the genial power of this humorous expression
-of one’s sense of all life’s oddities and puzzles belongs only to man.
-
-There were few people about at the club where he dined alone, and the
-few acquaintances who recognised him were very shy about his name, not
-knowing how to address him, and asking each other in corners, as he
-divined, what the deuce was his real name, now it had been found out
-that he was not Arden? for it must be remembered that he had gone abroad
-immediately after his downfall, and had never been known in society
-under his new name, which by this time had become sufficiently familiar
-to himself. His dinner, poor fellow, was rather a doleful one, and
-accompanied by many thoughts. He went to one of the theatres
-afterwards, where the interregnum between one season and another still
-lasted, and foolishness more foolish even than that which is permitted
-at other periods, reigned riotous. Edgar came away wearied and disgusted
-before the performance was over, and had walked about aimlessly for some
-time before he recollected that he had travelled all night, and had a
-right to be tired--upon which recollection his aimless steps changed
-their character, and he went off briskly and thankfully through the
-bustling streets under the stars, which were sharp with night frost as
-they had been at Loch Arroch. Looking up at them as they glowed and
-sparkled over the dark house-tops in London, it was natural to think
-what was going on at Loch Arroch now. The kye would be “suppered,” and
-Bell would have fastened the ever open door, and little Jeanie upstairs
-would be reading her “chapter” to her grandmother before the old lady
-went to bed. He had seen that little, tender, pious scene more than
-once, when Granny was feeble, and he had gone to her room to say
-good-night. How sweet the low Scotch voice, with its soft broad vowels,
-had sounded, reading reverently those sacred verses, better than
-invocation of angels to keep the house from harm! What a peaceful,
-homely little house! all in it resting tranquil and untroubled beneath
-the twinkling stars. He went home to his rooms, through streets where
-very different scenes were going on, hushed by the thought of the rural
-calm and stillness, and half thinking the dark shadows he felt around
-him must be the dew-breathing shadows of the hills. And when Edgar got
-up to his bachelor refuge in Piccadilly, which he called home for the
-nonce for lack of a better, he did the very wisest thing a tired man
-could do, he went to bed; where he slept the moment his head touched the
-pillow, that sleep which does not always attend the innocent. The morn,
-as says our homely proverb in Scotland, would bring a new day.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-Waiting for a Situation.
-
-
-Edgar’s calculations, which he began next morning, and carried on for a
-great many days after, were of a kind which many men have made before
-him, that it would be foolish to call them original. He made elaborate
-calculations upon various pieces of paper, by which he made out that
-with economy, he could perfectly well live upon his twenty pounds for
-two months. To be sure his rent in these rooms in Piccadilly was
-preposterously high, and could not by any means be brought within that
-calculation. But then he reflected to himself that moving is always
-expensive--(he possessed two portmanteaus, a box of books, and a
-dressing-case, all of which could have gone in a cab)--and that very
-probably he might fall among thieves, and get into the hands of one of
-those proverbial landladies who steal the tea, and drink the brandy, in
-which case it would be no economy at all to save a few shillings on
-rent. In short, Edgar said to himself, loftily, these petty little
-savings never tell. You are much less comfortable, and it is just as
-expensive. For the same reason, he felt it was much the best way to
-continue dining at the club. “It may be sixpence dearer, but it is so
-infinitely more comfortable,” he said to himself; and, after all,
-comfort was worth an additional sixpence. By striking off the rent of
-his rooms altogether from the calculation, it seemed to him that he
-could afford his dinners at the club; and if he got his appointment by
-Christmas, as he certainly must, it would be so easy to pay the lodgings
-in a lump. He jotted down these calculations so often, and upon so many
-bits of paper, that he grew to believe in them as if they had been a
-revelation. By this it will appear that his doubts about hanging on, and
-waiting for the possible Queen’s Messengership which he had at first set
-down as out of the question, did not continue to appear so impracticable
-as time went on. He said to himself every morning that it was absurd,
-but still he did nothing else, and gradually the Queen’s Messengership
-grew to be a certain thing to him, upon which he was to enter at
-Christmas, or a little later. After all, what did it matter how he spent
-a week or two of his time? At eight-and-twenty, life does not appear so
-short as some people have found it. A week or two, a month or two, were
-neither here nor there.
-
-I can scarcely tell how Edgar occupied himself during these wintry days.
-For one thing, he had not been accustomed to regular occupation, and the
-desultory life was familiar to him. The days glided past he scarcely
-knew how. He did a great many perfectly virtuous and laudable actions.
-He went to the British Museum, and to all the collections of pictures;
-he even, in sheer absence of anything else to do, went to the Charity
-House, which was a little way out of London, and was taken over it by
-Sister Susan, his travelling companion, and for an hour or so was seized
-upon by the charity fever, which is very contagious, and for some days
-kept thinking, as he went about the streets, of all the miserable
-souls--not to say bodies--consuming there, in dirt, and disease, and
-ignorance. I do not mean to give any account of the Charity-House--at
-least, not here and at this moment. But Sister Susan undeniably
-exercised a powerful attraction over the young man, as she discoursed in
-her cheery voice of her orphans, and her patients, and her penitents,
-all of which classes were collected round and in “the House.” She was
-not “the Mother,” who was rather a great personage, but she was one of
-the elders in the Sisterhood, and her conventual talk was very amusing
-to Edgar, who was not used to it. He did all he could to make her talk
-of the journey in which they had been fellow-travellers, and of her
-young companion; and Sister Susan was cunningly open in certain
-particulars:
-
-Yes, she had been in Scotland, in the North, where it was thought things
-were ripening for a great work, and where it had been suggested a
-Sisterhood might be of use in helping to restore a benighted people to
-Christian unity in the bosom of the afflicted Church of Scotland, the
-only real representative of Apostolic Christianity among the
-Presbyterians, who usurp even that faithful remnant’s name. But it did
-not carry out their expectations, Sister Susan allowed. The
-Presbyterians were very obstinate and bigoted. Poor creatures, they
-preferred their own way, though it could lead to nothing but darkness;
-and the idea had to be resigned.
-
-“Was your companion with you on your mission? Miss ---- I forget what you
-said was her name,” said deceitful Edgar.
-
-Sister Susan shook her head.
-
-“She has not sufficient experience for that,” she said, decidedly. “No,
-no, no. We must not employ new beginners in such delicate work. She was
-on a visit, and was anxious to get home. I took charge of her at Lady--I
-mean at the request of a relation of hers; and I made her do a little
-bit of self-denial, as you saw,” said Sister Susan, laughing, “which is
-an excellent thing always--not very comfortable for the body, perhaps,
-but excellent for the soul.”
-
-“Do you think so?” said Edgar, whose present experience was not much in
-that way, whose givings up had hitherto cost him little, and who had
-begun to suspect that, notwithstanding all that had happened to him, and
-all that he had bestowed upon others, he had not even begun yet to find
-out what self-denial meant.
-
-“Not a doubt of it,” said Sister Susan. She was so sure of everything
-that it was a pleasure to see her nod her confident little head, and
-cross her hands. “She laughs about it now, and makes a great joke;
-though, after all, she says it was a cheat, and the third class was
-quite as good as the first--no originals in it, nor genuine poor
-people--only you.”
-
-“Did she know me?”
-
-The question burst from him in spite of himself, and it had a somewhat
-uncomfortable effect on Sister Susan.
-
-“Know you?” she said. “What--what--a curious question, Mr. Earnshaw!
-Now, how could she know you? You never saw her before.”
-
-“I suppose not,” said Edgar, doubtfully.
-
-“Why, you know you never did,” said Sister Susan, with her usual
-confident tone, and indeed Edgar felt that she must be right. “You took
-her for a Sister,” she added, with a merry laugh.
-
-“How should I know the difference?” asked piteously the young man.
-
-“Why, she had not this, nor this, nor this,” said the Sister,
-triumphantly touching one part of her dress after another. “She had on a
-simple black dress, and cloak, and veil--that was all. A good little
-girl,” she continued, “our orphans are all fond of her, and she is very
-nice to those young sisters of hers, who are much more taken out
-now-a-days than she is, and carry everything before them--especially
-since she went off so much, poor dear.”
-
-“Has she gone off?” Edgar asked, more and more interested, he could
-scarcely tell why.
-
-“Oh, dreadfully; lost her pretty colour, and her hair used to come out
-in handfuls; she has been obliged to have it cut off to save it. She is
-not like what she was, poor thing; but I hope,” added Sister Susan
-devoutly, “that thinking so much more seriously than she used to do,
-the change will be of great benefit to her soul.”
-
-“Poor Miss--! You have not told me her name,” said Edgar.
-
-“Haven’t I?” said Sister Susan. “Dear, dear, there is the bell for
-chapel, and I can’t stay with you any longer. There are a few benches
-near the door where strangers are allowed to go, if you wish to stay for
-evensong.”
-
-Edgar stayed, chiefly, I fear, out of mere listlessness, and took his
-place in the corner by the door allotted to Philistines of the male
-gender, with much submission and docility. The little chapel was very
-richly decorated, the light intercepted by small painted windows, the
-walls one mass of mural ornament. He compared it in his imagination,
-with a smile, to the bare little convent chapels he had seen and heard
-of in countries where the institution appeared more natural. Here there
-was a profusion of ecclesiastical luxury, an absolute parade of
-decoration. It struck him with a double sense of incongruity, but there
-was no one to whom he could express this evil sentiment: Sister Susan
-did not appear again as he had hoped, and he wended his way back to town
-with some additional information, which he had not possessed when he
-left. Why should he be so curious about Miss ----, the nameless one? He
-had thought her another Sister, and entertained no profuse curiosity in
-respect to her at first; but now it seemed to him that only a little
-more light might make her visible to him. There was no reason why he
-should find her out, or why he should wish to do so; but great is the
-perversity of human nature--perhaps this was the special reason why the
-thought occupied him so much.
-
-It was very strange to so friendly a soul to have no friends whom he
-could go to, whom he could talk to, no friendly house where the door
-would open to him, and faces smile at his sight. It is true that for
-three years he had been severed, to a great degree, from domestic
-pleasures, which do not thrive at foreign centres of cosmopolitan
-resort--but yet he had never been without a large circle of
-acquaintances, and had occasionally seen the old friends of his boyhood
-here and there; but in London, in October and November, whom could he
-expect to see? The stray man who dropped in now and then at the club,
-was on the wing between two country houses, or was going to join a party
-somewhere, or home to his people. Some men, of course, must live in
-London, but these men, I presume, did not go much to their club, or else
-they were so little among the number of Edgar’s friends that they did
-not count. Now and then one would join him at dinner, or in one of the
-long walks he took, and he made a friend or two at the Museum, among the
-books and prints. But he was like an Australian emigrant, or other exile
-in savage places. These were all men, and he never saw the face of a
-woman except in the streets or shops, unless it was his landlady, who
-did not interest him.
-
-How strangely different from the old days, in which so many fair women
-would smile and listen to the young man who was at once so rich and so
-original, a great landed proprietor, with the opinions of a
-revolutionary. It was not his downfall, however, which had made all the
-difference, which was a comfort to him; for, indeed, the families whom
-he had once visited were out of London. Sometimes it occurred to him
-that if the Thornleighs had been in town, he would have gone to them and
-asked leave to be admitted just once or twice, for pure charity, and he
-had walked several times past their house in Berkeley Square, and gazed
-at its closed shutters with half a notion of calling on the housekeeper,
-at least, and asking to see the place in which he had spent so many
-pleasant hours. He used to live all over again his first visit to
-London, with an amused pleasure in recalling all his own puzzles and
-difficulties. He seemed to himself to have been a boy then, almost a
-child, playing with fate and his life, and understanding nothing of all
-that was around him. To have ten thousand a year one time, and no income
-at all the next, but only a hundred pounds in the bank “to fall back
-upon,” and the vague promise of a post as Queen’s Messenger at
-Christmas--what a change it was! Though to be sure, even now, Edgar said
-to himself, there were more people in London worse off than he, than
-there were people who were better off. A hundred pounds in the bank is,
-in reality, a fortune--as long as you can keep it there; and a man who
-has the post of Queen’s Messenger is independent, which is as much as
-any prince can be.
-
-All these philosophisings were wonderfully true, but they did not take
-away the uncomfortable, desolate, profitless sensation of living alone
-in London without friends, doing nothing except live, which, when you
-live for the mere sake of living, and because you can’t help it, is,
-perhaps, the dreariest occupation on earth. And in November--when London
-is at its worst, and the year at its worst, when the gloomy daylight is
-short, and the weary nights are long, and when everything that bears the
-guise of amusement palls upon the man who has nothing to do but amuse
-himself.
-
-Sometimes Edgar, in momentary desperation, thought of rushing off to his
-former haunts abroad, sometimes of turning back to Loch Arroch, helping
-in whatever might be doing, getting some share in human life, and some
-place among his fellows; but then the remembrance would strike him that,
-now-a-days, he could not do what he pleased, that he had no money but
-that hundred pounds in the bank, and no way of getting any now till the
-appointment came.
-
-By-and-by, however, his opinion began to change about the hundred pounds
-in the bank. It changed by slow degrees after he had changed his second
-ten-pound note, and saw those last precious sovereigns slipping out of
-his grasp, which they did with a strange noiseless celerity
-inconceivable to him. How did they go? When he counted up all he had
-spent, every sixpence seemed so modest, so natural! and yet they were
-gone, he knew not how; vanished even, he thought, while he was looking
-at them. Then the thought arose in his mind, why keep a hundred pounds
-in the bank? It was a waste of capital, money which brought in no
-return; and for that matter, if it was merely to secure something to
-“fall back upon,” fifty pounds were just as good as a hundred. The
-income of a Queen’s Messenger was good, he said to himself (he had not,
-in reality, the least idea what it was!), and when he got his
-appointment it would be very easy to put back the other fifty pounds if
-he found it expedient. But the more he thought of it the less he saw any
-need for keeping so much money lying useless. He never could get any
-income from so small a sum, and the fifty pounds was quite enough for
-any sudden emergency. Or supposing, he said, seventy-five? Seventy-five
-pounds was magnificent as a fund to fall back upon; and it was with a
-feeling that twenty-five pounds had been somehow added, not taken from
-his capital, that he went to the bank one day in December and drew out
-the quarter, not the half, of his little stock of money. With
-twenty-five pounds in his pocket and seventy-five in the bank, he felt
-much richer than with the poor little undivided hundred. And somehow
-every day as he grew poorer, he became more convinced that it would be
-the most short-sighted economy to remove from his Piccadilly lodgings,
-or to relinquish his dinners at the club. Why, they were cheap,
-absolutely cheap, both the one and the other, in comparison with the
-nasty meals and wretched lodgings for which, no doubt, he might pay a
-little less money. He even became slightly extravagant and disposed to
-buy little knick-knacks, and to consume little delicacies as his means
-grew smaller and smaller.
-
-I cannot tell what produced this curious state of feeling in Edgar’s
-mind. There is a kind of giddiness and desperation of poverty which
-seizes a man when he is in the act of spending his last parcel of coin.
-It must all go so soon that it seems worse than useless to _ménager_ the
-little remnant, and a kind of _vertige_, a rage to get it all over,
-comes upon the mind. Perhaps it is the same feeling which makes men in a
-sinking ship leap wildly into the water to meet their fate instead of
-waiting for it; and as time went on the impulse grew stronger and
-stronger. The seventy-five pounds of capital seemed magnificent in
-December; but after Christmas it seemed to Edgar that even his fifty
-pounds was too much to be lying useless; and he had a little bottle of
-champagne with his dinner, and resolved that, as soon as the bank was
-open, he would draw, say ten pounds. After all, what was the use of
-being so particular about “something to fall back upon?” Probably he
-would never want it. If he fell ill, being a Queen’s Messenger, it was
-much more likely that he should fall ill in Berlin or Vienna, or Rome or
-Naples, than at home--and then it would be some one’s duty to mind him
-and take care of him. And if it should be his fate to die, there would
-be an end of the matter. Why should he save even forty pounds?--he had
-no heir.
-
-Poor Edgar! it was a kind of intoxication that had seized him, an
-intoxication caused by idleness, loneliness, and the separation of his
-life from that of every one else around him. Somehow, though Christmas
-came and passed and he heard nothing, he could not pluck up courage to
-go to Downing Street again. Of course the appointment would come some
-day, most likely to-morrow. He was not going to worry Newmarch to death
-by going to him every day. He could wait till to-morrow. And so things
-went on till it ran very hard with the solitary young man. It occurred
-to him one day that his clothes were getting shabby. To be sure he had
-unlimited credit with his tailor, having just paid a large bill without
-inquiry or question; but the fact of feeling yourself shabby when you
-have very little money is painful and startling, and gives the
-imagination a shock. After this his mind lost the strange ease which it
-had possessed up to this moment, and he grew troubled and restless. “I
-must go to Newmarch again,” he acknowledged at last to himself, and all
-at once wondered with a sudden pang whether his Messengership was as
-certain as he had hoped. “I must go to Newmarch to-morrow,” he said over
-and over again as, somewhat dazed and giddy with this sudden thought, he
-went along the pavement thoughtfully towards the club, which had become
-a second home to him. It was the end of January by this time, and a few
-more people were beginning to appear again in these regions. He went in
-to his dinner, saying the words to himself mechanically and half aloud.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-Disappointment.
-
-
-It is very curious how often the unintentional movements of other men
-concur in making a crisis in an individual life. When Edgar went to his
-club that evening he knew no reason why anything unusual should happen
-to him. His mind had been roused by sudden anxiety, that anxiety which,
-seizing a man all at once upon one particular point, throws a veil over
-everything by so doing, and showed yellowness or blackness into the
-common light; but he had no reason to suspect that any new light would
-come to him, or any new interest into his life, when he went dully and
-with a headache to his habitual seat at his habitual table and ate his
-dinner, which was not of a very elaborate character. There were more men
-than usual in the club that evening, and when Edgar had finished his
-dinner he went into the library, not feeling disposed for the long walk
-through the lighted streets with which he so often ended his evening. He
-took a book, but he was not in the mood to read. Several men nodded to
-him as they came and went; one, newly arrived, who had not seen him
-since his downfall, came up eagerly and talked for ten minutes before he
-went out. The man was nobody in particular, yet his friendliness was
-consolatory, and restored to Edgar some confidence in his own identity,
-which had seemed to be dropping from him. He put up his book before him
-when he was left again alone, and behind this shield looked at his
-companions, of whom he knew nothing or next to nothing.
-
-One of the people whom he thus unconsciously watched was a man whom he
-had already noted on several evenings lately, and as to whose condition
-he was in some perplexity. The first evening Edgar had half stumbled
-over him with the idea that he was one of the servants, and in the
-glance of identification with which he begged pardon, decided that,
-though not one of the servants, he must be a shopkeeper, perhaps well
-off and retired, whom somebody had introduced, or who had been admitted
-by one of those chances which permit the rich to enter everywhere. Next
-evening when he saw the same man again, he rubbed out as it were with
-his finger the word shopkeeper, which he had, so to speak, written
-across him, and wrote “city-man” instead. A city-man may be anything; he
-may be what penny-a-liners call a merchant prince, without losing the
-characteristic features of his class. This man was about forty-five, he
-had a long face, with good but commonplace features, hair getting scanty
-on the top, and brown whiskers growing long into two points, after the
-fashion of the day. The first time he was in evening dress, having come
-in after dinner, which was the reason why Edgar took him for one of the
-attendants. The next time he was in less elaborate costume, and looked
-better; for evening dress is trying to a man who has not the _air noble_
-which christianizes those hideous garments. The third night again,
-Edgar, in imagination, drew a pen through the word “city-man,” and
-wondered whether the stranger could be a successful artist, a great
-portrait-painter, something of that description, a prosperous man to
-whom art had become the most facile and most lucrative of trades. On
-this particular night he again changed his opinion, crossed the word
-artist and put man about town, indefinitest of designations, yet
-infinitely separated from all the others. Thus blurred and overwritten
-by so many attempts at definition, the new-comer attracted his
-attention, he could scarcely tell why. There was nothing remarkable
-about the man; he had grey eyes, a nose without much character, loose
-lips disposed to talk, an amiable sort of commonness, eagerness,
-universal curiosity in his aspect. He knew most people in the room, and
-went and talked to them, to each a little; he looked at all the papers
-without choice of politics; he took down a great many books, looked at
-them and put them back again. Edgar grew a little interested in him on
-this special evening. He had a long conversation with one of the
-servants, and talked to him sympathetically, almost anxiously, ending by
-giving him an address, which the man received with great appearance of
-gratitude. Might he be a physician perhaps? But his bearing and his
-looks were alike against this hypothesis. “Benevolent,” Edgar said to
-himself.
-
-His attention, however, was quite drawn away from this stranger by the
-sudden entrance of Lord Newmarch, who like himself was a member of the
-club, and who came in hurriedly, accompanied by some one less dignified
-but more eager than himself, with whom he was discussing some subject
-which required frequent reference to books. Edgar felt his heart stir as
-he perceived the great man enter. Was it possible that his fate
-depended, absolutely depended, upon the pleasure of this man--that two
-words from him might make his fortune secure, or plunge him into a
-deeper and sickening uncertainty which could mean only ruin? Good
-heaven, was it possible? A kind of inertness, moral cowardice, he did
-not know what to call it--perhaps the shrinking a doomed man feels from
-actual hearing of his fate--had kept him from going to the office to put
-the arbiter of his destinies in mind of his promise. Now he could not
-let this opportunity slip; he must go to him, he must ask him what was
-to be the result. Up to this morning he had felt himself sure of his
-post, now he felt just as sure of rejection. Both impressions no doubt
-were equally unreasonable; but who can defend himself against such
-impressions? Gradually Edgar grew breathless as he watched that
-discussion which looked as if it would never end. What could it be
-about? Some vague philanthropico-political question, some bit of
-doctrinarianism of importance to nobody--while his was a matter of death
-and life. To be sure this was his own fault, for he might, as you will
-perceive, dear reader, have gone to Lord Newmarch any day, and found
-him at his office, where probably, amid all the sublime business there,
-Edgar’s affairs had gone entirely out of his head. But if you think the
-suggestion that it was his own fault made the suspense now a
-straw-weight more easy to him, this is a point on which I do not agree
-with you. The consequences of our own faults are in all circumstances
-the most difficult to bear.
-
-Oddly enough, the stranger whom Edgar had been watching, seemed anxious
-to speak to Lord Newmarch too. Edgar’s eyes met his in their mutual
-watch upon the Minister, who went on disputing with his companion,
-referring to book after book. It was some military question of which I
-suppose Lord Newmarch knew as much as his grandmother did, and the other
-was a hapless soldier endeavouring in vain to convey a lucid description
-and understanding of some important technical matter to the head of the
-Secretary of State. In vain; Lord Newmarch did not try to understand--he
-explained; to many people this method of treating information is so much
-the most natural. And the stranger watched him on one side, and Edgar on
-the other. Their eyes met more than once, and after a while the humour
-of the situation struck Edgar, even in his trouble, and he smiled; upon
-which a great revolution made itself apparent in the other’s
-countenance. He smiled too; not with the sense of humour which moved
-Edgar, but with a gleam of kindness in his face, which threw a certain
-beauty over it. Edgar was struck with a strange surprise: he was taken
-aback at the same time, he felt as if somehow he must have appealed to
-the kindness, the almost pity in the other’s face. What had he done to
-call forth such an expression? His newborn pride jumped up in arms; and
-yet there was no possibility of offence meant, and nothing to warrant
-offence being taken. Edgar, however, averted his eyes hastily, and
-watched Lord Newmarch no more. And then he took himself to task, and
-asked himself, Was it an offence to look at him kindly? Was he offended
-by a friendly glance? Good heavens! what was he coming to, if it was so.
-
-Presently Edgar’s heart beat still higher, for Lord Newmarch’s companion
-rose to go, and he, having caught sight of the stranger, remained, and
-went up to him holding out his hand. Edgar could but wait on, and bide
-his time; his book was still before him, at which he had never looked. A
-sickening sense of humiliation crept over him. He felt all the misery of
-dependence; here was he, so lately this man’s equal, waiting, sickening
-for a word from him, for a look, wondering what he would say,
-questioning with himself, while his heart beat higher and higher, and
-the breath came quickly on his lips. Good heavens, wondering what
-Newmarch would say! a man whom he had so laughed at, made fun of, but
-who was now to be the very arbiter of his fate, whose word would make
-all the difference between a secure and useful and worthy future, and
-that impoverishment of hope, and means, and capability altogether, which
-some call ruin--and justly call.
-
-While Edgar sat thus waiting, excitement gradually gaming upon him, he
-saw with some surprise that the man to whom he had given so many
-different descriptions, was drawing back and pushing Lord Newmarch
-towards him; and seeing this, he got up, with a half-shrinking from his
-fate, half-eagerness to hear it.
-
-“All right,” said the unknown, “your turn first. The great man must give
-us all audience in turn;” and with a little nod he went to the other end
-of the room and took up a newspaper, of which he probably made as little
-use as Edgar had been doing of his book.
-
-“Droll fellow!” said Newmarch, “how d’ye do, eh, Earnshaw? I have been
-in town this month past, but you have never looked me up.”
-
-“I feared to bore you,” said Edgar, hastily.
-
-“It is my business never to be bored,” said Lord Newmarch, with a
-certain solemnity, which was natural to him. “Where have you been--in
-the country? what here all this time! I wish I had known; I seldom come
-here, except for the library, which is wonderfully good, as perhaps you
-know. That was Cheeseman that was arguing with me--Cheeseman, you know,
-one of those practical people--and insists upon his own way.”
-
-“I wonder,” said Edgar, uneasily, “whether you have ever thought again
-of a small matter I went to you about?”
-
-“What, the messengership?” said Lord Newmarch, “what do you take me
-for--eh, Earnshaw? Of course I have thought of it; there is never a
-week that I do not hope something may happen to old Runtherout; I don’t
-mean anything fatal of course; but there he sticks from month to month,
-and probably so he will from year to year.”
-
-Edgar felt his countenance falling, falling. He felt, or thought he
-felt, his jaw drop. He felt his heart go down, down, like a stone. He
-put a miserable smile upon his miserable face. “Then I suppose there is
-no chance for me,” he said.
-
-“Oh yes, my dear fellow, certainly there is a chance--as much chance as
-there ever was,” said Lord Newmarch, cheerfully, “these things, of
-course, cannot be altered all at once, but as soon as old Runtherout
-gives up, which cannot be long--I do not mind for my part what anyone
-says, I shall put you in. If you only knew what it would have been to me
-to have you in Berlin now! You speak German quite fluently, don’t you?
-Good heavens, what a loss to me!”
-
-And, good heavens what a loss to me! Edgar felt disposed to say. As much
-chance as there ever was! then what had the chance been at first, for
-which he had wasted so much time and all his little stock of money. God
-help him! he had to receive the news with a smile, the best he could
-muster, and to listen to Lord Newmarch’s assurance that a few months
-could make very little difference. “Oh, very little difference!” echoed
-poor Edgar, with that curious fictitious brassy (why he thought it was
-brassy I cannot tell, but that was the adjective he used to himself)
-brassy imitation of a smile; and Lord Newmarch went on talking somehow
-up in the air beside him, about a number of things, to which he said
-yes and no mechanically with some certain kind of appropriateness, I
-suppose, for nobody seemed to find out the semi-consciousness in which
-he was--until the great man suddenly recollected that he must speak a
-few words to Tottenham, and fell back upon the man with worn grey eyes
-and loose lips, who sprang up from behind his newspaper like a jack in a
-box. Edgar, for his part, dropped down in his chair something like the
-same toy when shut up in its hiding-place. There was a buzzing in his
-ears again as there had been when he had his first interview with the
-Minister--but this time the giddiness was more overpowering; a hundred
-thoughts passed through his mind in a moment, each crowding upon each, a
-noiseless, breathless crowd. What was he to do? Everything seemed to be
-shown to him in the space of a moment, as fable says, a whole lifetime
-is shown in a moment to those who die suddenly. Good God! a few months!
-what was he to do?
-
-Some people can face the prospect of living for a few months on nothing
-quite pleasantly, and some people do it habitually (without being at all
-bad people), and get through somehow, and come to no tragical end. But
-Edgar was young and unaccustomed to poverty. He was even unaccustomed to
-live from hand to mouth, as so many of us do, light-hearted wretches,
-without taking thought for the morrow. It was some time, it was true,
-before he was roused to think of the morrow at all, but, when he did, it
-seized upon him like a vulture. He sank back into his chair, and sat
-there like a log, with vacant eyes, but mind preternaturally busy and
-occupied. What was he to do?
-
-He was roused from this outward stupor, but inner ferment, by seeing
-Newmarch again come up accompanied by the stranger, whose very existence
-he had forgotten. “Mr. Tottenham, Mr. Edgar Earnshaw,” said the
-Under-Secretary, “one of my best friends. Come and see me, won’t you, in
-Eaton Place. I must go now; and come to the office soon, and let us talk
-your affair over. The moment old Runtherout will consent to take himself
-out of the way--As for you, Tottenham, I envy you. All your schemes in
-your own hands, no chief to thwart you, no office to keep on
-recommending this man and that, when they know you have a man of your
-own. You may thank heaven that you have only your own theories to serve,
-and not Her Majesty. Good night, good night.”
-
-“Good night,” said Edgar, absently.
-
-Mr. Tottenham said nothing, but he gave Lord Newmarch a finger to shake,
-and turned to his new companion, who sat with his head down, and paid
-little attention to his presence. He fixed his eyes very closely on
-Edgar, which is a thing that can scarcely be done without attracting
-finally the notice of the person looked at. When he had caught Edgar’s
-wondering but dazed and dreamy look, he smiled--the same smile by which
-Edgar had already been half pleased, half angered.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw,” he said, “you have a story, and I know it. I hope I
-should have tried to behave as well myself; but I don’t know. And I
-have a story too. Will you come into the smoking-room if you have
-nothing better to do, and I’ll tell it you? I call it the history of a
-very hard case. Newmarch left you to me as his substitute, for he knew I
-wanted to talk. I like the exchange. He’s a profound blockhead, though
-he’s Secretary of State. Come and smoke a cigar.”
-
-Edgar rose mechanically, he scarcely knew why; he was pale; he felt his
-legs almost give way under him as he moved across the passage to the
-smoking-room. He did not want to smoke, nor to know Mr. Tottenham’s
-story; but he had not strength of mind to resist what was asked of him.
-
-“A few months,” he kept saying to himself. It seemed to him that a
-sudden indifference to everything else, to all things greater and more
-distant, had come into his mind. For the first time in his life he was
-self-engrossed, self-absorbed, able to think of nothing but his own
-necessities, and what he was to do. So strange was this to Edgar, so
-miserable did he feel it, that even on the short journey from one room
-to another he made an effort to shake off the sudden chains with which
-this sudden necessity had bound him, and was appalled by his own
-weakness, almost by a sense of guilt, when he found that he could take
-no interest whatever in Mr. Tottenham, that he could think of nothing
-but himself. For the first time, there was nobody but himself involved;
-no justice to be done, no kindness to be shown to others. Wherever other
-people are concerned, a certain breadth, a certain freedom and
-largeness, come into the question, even though the other people may be
-poor and small enough; but how mean the generous man feels, how petty
-and miserable, when he, and he only, becomes by any twist of fortune the
-centre of all his thoughts!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-A new Friend.
-
-
-“I hope I should have done exactly as you did in that Arden business,”
-said Mr. Tottenham; “but I can’t tell. The amount of meanness and
-falseness to all one’s own rules which one feels in one’s self in a
-great emergency is wonderful. I never put any dependence on myself. Now
-I will tell who, or rather what I am. The pronoun Who is inappropriate
-in my case. I am nobody; but when you know what I am--if, indeed, my
-name does not tell you--”
-
-“No,” said Edgar, forcing himself into attention.
-
-“It is not a bad name; there are fine people, I believe, who bear it,
-and who hold up their heads with the best. But if you belonged to a
-middle-class London family, and had a mother and sisters, you would have
-no difficulty in identifying me. I am not a Tottenham with a Christian
-name like other people. I am Tottenham’s, in the possessive case.”
-
-“I begin to understand,” said Edgar.
-
-What an effort it was to him! But he grew more capable of making the
-effort as he tried to make it, and actually looked up now with a gleam
-of intelligence in his eye.
-
-“You begin to realize me,” said his companion. “I am Tottenham’s. I have
-been Tottenham’s all my life. My father died when I was only a small
-boy. I hope, though I don’t know, that he might have had sense enough to
-habituate me to my fate from the beginning, which would have made it
-much easier. But my mother, unfortunately, was a lady, or thought
-herself so. She brought me up as if there was not such a thing as a shop
-in the world. She buys everything at Howell and James’s of set purpose
-and malice prepense, when she could get all she wants at cost price in
-our own place; to be sure she can afford it, thanks to the shop. I never
-knew anything about this said shop till I was at Eton, when I denied the
-connection stoutly, and fought for it, and came off triumphant, though
-the other fellow was the biggest. When I went home for the holidays, I
-told the story. ‘You were quite right not to give in to it, my dear,’
-said my mother. ‘But is it true?’ said I. Poor dear, how she
-prevaricated! She would not have told a lie for the world, but a tiny
-little bit of a fib did not seem so bad. Accordingly I found it out, and
-had to go back to Eton, and beg the fellow’s pardon, and tell him it
-wasn’t a lie he told, but the truth, only I had not known it. I don’t
-think any of them thought the worse of me for that.”
-
-“I should think not,” cried Edgar, beginning to rouse up.
-
-“No, I don’t suppose they did; but from that day I became thin-skinned,
-as people call it, and scented the shop afar off in everything people
-said. My mother’s contempt for it, and shame of it, got deep into my
-mind. I grew sensitive. I did not like to give my name when I went
-anywhere. I felt sure some one would say, ‘Oh, Tottenham’s!’ when my
-card was taken in. I can’t tell you the misery this gave me all through
-school and college. I hated the shop, and was afraid of it. I was
-morbidly ashamed of my name. I went and wandered about in vacation,
-wearing other men’s names as I might have borrowed their coats. Not
-without their consent, mind you,” he added, sharply. “I did nothing
-dishonourable; but I had a horror of being Tottenham, a horror which I
-cannot describe.”
-
-“That was strange!”
-
-“You think so? Well, so do I _now_; and it was very unfortunate for me.
-It got me into many scrapes; it almost cost me my wife. You don’t know
-my wife? I must take you out to see her. I was introduced to her under
-somebody else’s name--not a very distinguished name, it is true, Smith,
-or Brown, or something, and under that name she accepted me; but when I
-told her how things really were, her countenance flamed like that of the
-angel, do you remember? in Milton, when Adam says something caddish--I
-forget what exactly. How she did look at me! ‘Ashamed of your name!’ she
-said, ‘and yet ask _me_ to share it!’ There is pride and pride,” said
-Mr. Tottenham to himself with musing admiration. “The poor dear mother
-thought she was proud; Mary _is_ so; that makes all the difference. I
-got into such trouble as I never was in all my life. She sent me right
-away; she would have nothing to say to me; she cast me off as you might
-cast away that cinder with that pair of tongs. For a time I was the most
-miserable fellow on the face of the earth. I wandered about the place
-where she lived night and day; but even then, if you will believe me, it
-cost me a very hard struggle indeed to get to the shop. When I was
-desperate, I did.”
-
-“Why is he telling _me_ all this, I wonder?” said Edgar to himself; but
-he was interested, he could not tell how, and had raised his head, and
-for the moment shaken off something of the burden from his own back.
-
-“I made up my mind to it, and went at last,” said this odd man, puffing
-at his cigar with a vehemence that made it evident he felt it still. “I
-found that nobody wanted me there; that everybody preferred not to be
-interfered with; that the managers had fallen each into his own way, and
-had no desire for me to meddle. But I am not the sort of man that can
-stand and look on with his hands in his pockets. You will wonder, and
-perhaps you will despise me, when I tell you that I found Tottenham’s on
-the whole a very interesting place.”
-
-“I neither wonder nor despise,” said Edgar. “What did you do?”
-
-“What didn’t I do?” said Mr. Tottenham, with rueful humour. “I did all
-the mischief possible. I turned the whole place upside down. I
-diminished the profits for that year by a third part. I changed the
-well-known good order of Tottenham’s into confusion worse confounded.
-The old managers resigned in a body. By-the-way, they stayed on all but
-one afterwards, when I asked them. As for the assistants, there was
-civil war in the place, and more than one free fight between the
-different sides; for some sided with me, perhaps because they approved
-of me, perhaps because I was the master, and could do what I liked; but
-the end was that I stayed there three months, worked there, and then
-wrote to Mary; and she took me back.”
-
-“I am very glad to hear it,” said Edgar; and he smiled and sighed with
-natural sympathy.
-
-He had become quite interested in the story by this time, and totally
-forgotten all about his own miseries. He came out of his cloud finally
-just at this point, and took, at last, the cigar which his new friend
-had from time to time offered him.
-
-“Ah! come now, this is comfortable,” said Tottenham. “Up to that moment
-mine had been a very hard case, don’t you think so? I don’t pretend to
-have anything more to grumble about. But, having had a hard case myself,
-I sympathize with other people. Yours was a horribly hard case. Tell me
-now, that other fellow, that Arden scamp! I know him--as proud as
-Lucifer, and as wicked as all the rest of the evil spirits put
-together--do you mean to say he allowed you to go away, and give him up
-all that fine property, and save him thousands of pounds in a lawsuit,
-without making some provision for you? Such a thing was never heard of.”
-
-“No,” said Edgar; “don’t be unjust to him. It was a bitter pill for me
-to take a penny from him; but I did, because they made me.”
-
-“And you’ve spent it all!”
-
-Edgar laughed; he could not help it. His elastic nature had mounted up
-again; he began to feel sure that he could not be ruined so completely
-after all; he must be able to do something. He looked up at his
-questioner with eyes full of humour. Mr. Tottenham, who was standing in
-front as grave as a judge, looked at him, and did not laugh.
-
-“I don’t see the fun,” he said. “You shouldn’t have done it. You have
-let yourself drop half out of recollection before you asked for
-anything, whereas you should have got provided for at once. Hang it all!
-I suppose there are some places yet where a man in office may place a
-friend--and some opportunities left to put a good man in by means of a
-job, instead of putting in a bad man by competition, or seniority, or
-some other humbug. You should have done that at first.”
-
-“Possibly,” said Edgar, who had been amused, not by the idea of having
-spent all his money, but by that of making a clean breast to this man,
-whom he had never spoken to before, of the most private particulars of
-his life.
-
-Mr. Tottenham made a few turns about the room, where there was for the
-moment nobody but themselves. He said then suddenly,
-
-“I take an interest in you. I should like to help you if I could.
-Tottenham’s is no end of a good property, and I can do what I like----”
-
-“I am sure I am very much obliged,” said Edgar, laughing. “I should
-thank you still more warmly if it were not so funny. Why should you take
-an interest in me?”
-
-“It is odd, perhaps,” said the other; but he did not laugh. A smile ran
-over his face, that was all, and passed again like a momentary light.
-Then he added, “It is not so odd as you think. If I could conceal from
-you who my wife was, I might be tempted to do so; but I can’t, for
-though I’m only Tottenham’s, she’s in the peerage. My Mary is sister to
-Augusta Thornleigh, who--well, who _knew_ you, my dear fellow. Look
-here! She’s fashionable and all that; she would not let you see her
-daughters, at present, if she could help it; but she’s a good woman,
-mind. I have heard her tell your story. If ever there was a hard case,
-that was one; and when I heard of it, I resolved, if I ever had the
-chance, to stand by you. You behaved like a gentleman. Since we have
-been made acquainted, Earnshaw, we have not shaken hands yet!”
-
-They did it now very heartily; and in those restless grey eyes, which
-were worn by sheer use and perpetual motion, there glimmered some
-moisture. Edgar’s eyes were dry, but his whole heart was melted. There
-was a pause for a minute or more, and the ashes fell softly on the
-hearth, and the clock ticked on the mantel-piece. Then Edgar asked, “How
-are they all?” with that sound in his utterance which the French in
-their delicate discrimination call tears in the voice.
-
-“Quite well, quite well!” said Tottenham hurriedly; and then he added,
-“We didn’t come here to speak of them. Earnshaw, I want you to come to
-my house.”
-
-“It is very kind of you,” said Edgar. “I think I have seen Lady Mary.
-She is very sweet and lively, like--some one else; with fair hair----”
-
-“Isn’t she?” cried Lady Mary’s admiring husband; and his eyes glowed
-again. “I want you to come and stay with us while this business with
-Newmarch gets settled.”
-
-“Why?” said Edgar, with genuine surprise; and then he added, “You are a
-great deal too good. I should like to go for a day or two. I haven’t
-spoken to a lady for months.”
-
-“Poor fellow!” said Mr. Tottenham, taking no notice of the “Why?” “We
-live only a little way out of town, on account of the shop. I have never
-neglected the shop since the time I told you about. She would not let me
-for that matter. Nobody, you see, can snub _her_, in consequence of her
-rank; and partly for her sake, partly because I’m rich, I suppose,
-nobody tries to snub me. There are many of my plans in which you could
-help me very much--for a time, you know, till Newmarch comes off.”
-
-“You are very kind,” said Edgar; but his attention wandered after this,
-and other thoughts came into his mind, thoughts of himself and his
-forlorn condition, and of the profound uncertainty into which he and all
-his ways had been plunged. He scarcely paid any attention to the
-arrangements Mr. Tottenham immediately made, though he remembered that
-he promised to go out with him next day to Tottenham’s, as his house was
-called. “The same as the shop,” he said, with a twinkle in the corner of
-his grey eye. Edgar consented to these arrangements passively; but his
-patience was worn out, and he was very anxious to get away.
-
-And so this strange evening came to an end, and the morning after it.
-The new day arose, a smoky, foggy, wintry morning, through which so many
-people went to work; but not Edgar. He looked out upon the world from
-his window with a failing heart. Even from Kensington and Brompton,
-though these are not mercantile suburbs, crowds of men were jolting
-along on all the omnibuses, crowds pouring down on either side of the
-street--to work. The shop people went along the road getting and
-delivering orders; the maid-servants bustled about the doors in the
-foggy, uncertain light; the omnibuses rushed on, on, in a continuous
-stream; and everybody was busy. Those who had no work to do, pretended
-at least to be busy too; the idlers had not come out yet, had not
-stirred, and the active portion of the world were having everything
-their own way. Edgar had revived from his depression, but he had not
-regained his _insouciance_ and trust in the future. On the contrary, he
-was full of the heaviest uncertainty and care. He could not wait longer
-for this appointment, which might keep him hanging on half his life,
-which was just as near now as when he began to calculate on having it
-“about Christmas;” probably the next Christmas would see it just as
-uncertain still. He must, he felt, attempt something else, and change
-his tactics altogether. He must leave his expensive lodgings at once;
-but alas! he had a big bill for them, which he had meant to pay off his
-first quarter’s salary. He had meant to pay it the moment that blessed
-money for which he should have worked came; and now there was no
-appearance, no hope of it ever coming--at least, only as much hope as
-there had always been, no more.
-
-Poor Edgar! he might have rushed out of doors and taken to the first
-manual work he could find as his heart bade him; but to go and solicit
-somebody once more, and hang on and wait, dependent upon the
-recollection or the caprice of some one or other who could give
-employment, but might, out of mere wantonness, withhold it--this was
-harder than any kind of work. He could dig, he felt, and would dig
-willingly, or do any other thing that was hard and simple and
-straightforward; but to beg for means of working he was ashamed; and
-there seemed something so miserable, so full of the spirit of dependence
-in having to wait on day by day doing nothing, waiting till something
-might fall into his hands. How infinitely better off working men were,
-he said to himself; not thinking that even the blessed working man, who
-is free from the restraints and punctilios which bind gentlemen, has yet
-to stand and wait, and ask for work too, with the best.
-
-He went back to Mr. Parchemin that morning.
-
-“I have been waiting for Lord Newmarch,” he said; “he promised me a post
-about Christmas, and now he tells me there is just as much hope as
-ever, but no more. I must do something else. Could you not take me in as
-clerk in your own office? I should not mind a small salary to start
-with; anything would do.”
-
-Mr. Parchemin laughed, a dry and echoing “Ha, ha!” which was as dusty
-and dry as his office.
-
-“A strange clerk you would make,” he said, looking over his shoulder to
-conceal his amusement. “Can you engross?”
-
-“Of course not. How should I? But if a man were to try--”
-
-“Do you know anything about the law? Of what possible use could you be
-to us? No; you are a fancy article, entirely a fancy article.
-Government,” said the old lawyer, “Government is the thing for you.”
-
-“Government does not seem to see it in that light,” said Edgar. “I have
-waited since October.”
-
-“My dear Sir! October is but three months off. You can’t expect, like a
-child, to have your wants supplied the moment you ask for anything. A
-slice of cake may be given in that way, but not an appointment. You must
-have patience, Mr. Earnshaw, you must have patience,” said the old man.
-
-“But I have spent the half of my hundred pounds,” Edgar was about to
-say; but something withheld him; he could not do it. Should he not
-furnish the old lawyer by so doing with an unquestionable argument
-against himself? Should he not expose his own foolishness, the
-foolishness of the man who thought himself able to give up everything
-for others, and then could do nothing but run into debt and ruin on his
-own account? Edgar could not do it; he resolved rather to struggle on
-upon nothing, rather to starve, though that was a figure of speech, than
-to put himself so much in anyone’s power; which was pride, no doubt, but
-a useful kind of pride, which sometimes keeps an erring man out of
-further trouble. He went back at once, and paid his landlord a portion
-of what he owed him, and removed his goods to a small upstairs room
-which he found he could have cheap, and might have had all the time had
-he been wise enough to ask. It was the room in which his own servant had
-slept when he travelled with such an appendage; but the new-born pride
-which had struggled into existence in Edgar’s mind had no such ignoble
-part in it as to afflict him on this account. He was quite happy to go
-up to his man’s room, where everything was clean and homely, and felt no
-derogation of his personal dignity. Thank Heaven, this was one thing
-done at least--a step taken, though nothing could be gained by it, only
-something spared.
-
-In the afternoon Mr. Tottenham met him at his club, driving a pair of
-handsome horses in a smart phaeton, such a turnout as only a rich man’s
-can be, everything about it perfect. Edgar had not indulged in any
-luxurious tastes during his own brief reign; it had been perhaps too
-short to develop them; but he recognised the perfect appointments of the
-vehicle with a half sigh of satisfaction and reminiscence. He did not
-say, why should this man be lucky enough to have all this when I have
-nothing? as so many people do. He was not given to such comparisons, to
-that ceaseless contrast of self with the rest of the world, which is so
-common. He half smiled at himself for half sighing over the day when he
-too might have had everything that heart could desire, and smiled more
-than half at the whimsical thought that he had not taken the good of his
-wealth half so much then as he would have done now, had he the chance.
-He seemed to himself--knowing how short Edgar Arden’s tenure was--to be
-aware of a hundred things which Edgar might have done to amuse and
-delight him, which indeed Edgar Arden, knowing nothing of his own short
-tenure, and believing life to be very long and much delight awaiting
-him, never dreamt of making any haste to procure. A curious sense of
-well-being seemed to take hold of him as he bowled along the suburban
-roads by Mr. Tottenham’s side, wrapped in one of the fur coats which the
-chill and foggy evening made comfortable, watching the long lines of
-lamps that twinkled and stretched out like a golden thread, and then
-were left behind as in the twinkling of an eye. To hear of Lady Mary
-Tottenham, who was Lady Augusta’s sister, and aunt to all the young
-Thornleighs, seemed somehow like being wafted back to the old
-atmosphere, to the state of affairs which lasted so short a time and
-ended so suddenly; but which was, notwithstanding its brevity, the most
-important and influential moment of his life.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV.
-
-The Enchanted Palace.
-
-
-Tottenham’s was about five miles from London on the Bayswater side. It
-was a huge house, standing upon a little eminence, and surrounded by
-acres of park and clouds of thick but leafless trees, which looked
-ghostly enough in the Winter darkness. The fog had faded away from them
-long before they got so far, and had been replaced by the starlight
-clearness of a very cold evening; the sky was almost black, the points
-of light in it dead white, and all the landscape, so far as it was
-perceptible, an Indian ink landscape in faintly differing shades of
-black and deepest grey. Nevertheless it was a relief to breathe the
-fresh country air, after the damp fog which had clung to their throats
-and blinded their eyes. The roads were still hard, though there were
-signs of the breaking up of the frost, and the horses’ hoofs rang as
-they dashed along.
-
-“It’s a nice place,” Mr. Tottenham said, “though I, of course, only
-bought it from the old people, who fortunately were not very venerable
-nor very desirable. It had a fine name before, and it was Mary’s idea to
-call it Tottenham’s. As we cannot ignore the shop, it is as well to take
-the full advantage of it. The worst thing is,” he added lowering his
-voice, “it hurts the servants’ feelings dreadfully. We have at last
-managed to get a butler who sees the humour of it, and acknowledges the
-shop with a condescending sense that the fact of _his_ serving a
-shopkeeper is the best joke in the world. You will notice a
-consciousness of this highly humorous position at once in his face; but
-it is a bitter pill to the rest of the household. The housemaids and our
-friend behind us, cannot bear any reference to the degradation. You will
-respect their feelings, Earnshaw? I am sure you will take care to show a
-seemly respect for their feelings.”
-
-Edgar laughed, and Mr. Tottenham went on. He was a very easy man to talk
-with; indeed he did most of the conversation himself, and was so
-pleasantly full of his home and his wife and his evident happiness, that
-no one, or at least no one so sympathetic as Edgar, could have
-stigmatized with unkind names the lengthened monologue. There was this
-excuse for it on the other hand, that he was thus making himself and his
-belongings known to a stranger whom he had determined to make a friend
-of. Few people dislike to talk about themselves when they can throw off
-all fear of ridicule, and have a tolerable excuse for their fluency. We
-all like it, dear reader; we know it sounds egotistical, and the wiser
-we are the more we avoid exposing our weakness; but yet when we can feel
-it is safe and believe that it is justified, how pleasant it is to tell
-some fresh and sympathetic listener all about ourselves! Perhaps this is
-one of the reasons why youth is so pleasant a companion to age, because
-the revelations on each side can be full and lengthened without
-unsuitability or fear of misconstruction. Edgar, too, possessed many of
-the qualities which make a good listener. He was in a subdued state of
-mind, and had no particular desire to talk in his own person; he had no
-history for the moment that would bear telling; he was glad enough to be
-carried lightly along upon the stream of this other man’s story, which
-amused him, if nothing else. Edgar’s life had come to a pause; he lay
-quiescent between two periods, not knowing where the next tide might
-lift him, or what might be the following chapter. He was like a
-traveller in the night, looking in through a hospitable open window at
-some interior all bright with firelight and happiness, getting to
-recognise which was which in the household party round the fire, and
-listening with a gratitude more warm and effusive than had the service
-been a greater one, to the hospitable invitation to enter. As well might
-such a traveller have censured the openness which drew no curtains and
-closed no shutters, and warmed his breast with the sight of comfort and
-friendliness, as Edgar could have called Mr. Tottenham’s talk
-egotistical. For had not he too been called in for rest and shelter out
-of the night?
-
-He felt as in a dream when he entered the house, and was led through the
-great hall and staircase, and into the bright rooms to be presented to
-Lady Mary, who came forward to meet her husband’s new friend with the
-kindest welcome. She was a little light woman with quantities of fair
-hair, lively, and gay, and kind, with nothing of the worn look which
-distinguished her husband, but a fresh air, almost of girlhood, in her
-slight figure and light movements. She was so like _some one else_, that
-Edgar’s heart beat at sight of her, as it had not beat for years before.
-Gussy Thornleigh had gone out of his life, for ever, as he thought. He
-had given her up completely, hopelessly--and he had not felt at the time
-of this renunciation that his love for her had ever reached the length
-of passion, or that this was one of the partings which crush all
-thoughts of possible happiness out of the heart. But, notwithstanding,
-her idea had somehow lingered about him, as ideas passionately cherished
-do not always do. When he had been still and musing, the light little
-figure, the pretty head with its curls, the half laughing, half wise
-look with which this little girl would discourse to him upon everything
-in earth and heaven, had got into a way of coming up before him with the
-most astonishing reality and vividness. “I was not so very much in love
-with Gussy,” he had said to himself very often at such moments, with a
-whimsical mixture of surprise and complaint. No, he had not been so very
-much in love with her; yet she had haunted him all these three years.
-Lady Mary was only her aunt, which is not always an attractive
-relationship; generally, indeed, the likeness between a pretty girl and
-a middle-aged woman is rather discouraging to a lover, as showing to
-what plump and prosaic good condition his ethereal darling may come,
-than delightful; but Edgar had no sham sentiment about him, and was not
-apt to be assailed by any such unreal disgusts, even had there been
-anything to call them forth. Lady Mary, however, was still as
-lightfooted and light-hearted as Gussy herself. She had the same
-abundant fair hair, the same lively sweet eyes, never without the
-possibility of a laugh in them, and never anything but kind. She came up
-to Edgar holding out both her hands.
-
-“You are not a stranger to me,” she said, “don’t introduce him, Tom. The
-only difficulty I have about you, is how to address you as Mr.
-Earnshaw--but that is only for the first moment. Sit down and thaw, both
-of you, and I will give you some tea--that is if you want tea. We have
-nobody with us for a day or two fortunately, and you will just have time
-to get acquainted with us, Mr. Earnshaw, and know all our ways before
-any one else comes.”
-
-“But a day or two ought to be the limit--” Edgar began, hesitating.
-
-“What! you have said nothing?” said Lady Mary, hastily turning to her
-husband. He put his finger on his lip.
-
-“You are a most impetuous little person, Mary,” he said, “you don’t know
-the kind of bird we have got into the net. You think he will let you
-openly and without any illusion put salt upon his tail. No greater
-mistake could be. Earnshaw,” he added calmly, “come and let me show you
-your room. We dine directly, as we are alone and above ceremony. You can
-talk to my wife as much as you like after dinner--I shall go to sleep.
-What a blessing it is to be allowed to go to sleep after dinner,” he
-went on as he led the way upstairs, “especially on Saturday night--when
-one is tired and has Sunday to look forward to.”
-
-“Why should it be especially blessed on Saturday night?”
-
-“My dear fellow,” said the host solemnly, ushering his guest into a
-large and pleasant room, brilliant with firelight, “it is very clear
-that you have never kept a shop.”
-
-And with these words he disappeared, leaving Edgar, it must be allowed,
-somewhat disturbed in his mind as to what it could all mean, why he had
-been thus selected as a visitor and conducted to this fairy palace; what
-it was that the wife wondered her husband had not said--and indeed what
-the whole incident meant? As he looked round upon his luxurious
-quarters, and felt himself restored as it were to the life he had so
-long abandoned, curious dreams and fancies came fluttering about Edgar
-without any will of his own. It was like the adventure (often enough
-repeated) in the Arabian nights, in which the hero is met by some
-mysterious mute and blindfolded, and led into a mysterious hall, all
-cool with plashing fountains and sweet with flowers. These images were
-not exactly suited to the wintry drive he had just taken, though that
-was pleasant enough in its way, and no bed of roses could have been so
-agreeable as the delightful glimpse of the fire, and all the warm and
-soft comfort about him. But had he been blindfolded--had he been brought
-unawares into some beneficent snare? Edgar’s heart began to beat a
-little quicker than usual. He did not know and dared not have whispered
-to himself what the fancies were that beset him. He tried to frown them
-down, to represent to himself that he was mad, that the curious freak of
-his new friend, and his own long fasting from all social intercourse had
-made this first taste of it too much for his brain. But all that he
-could do was not enough to free him from the wild fancies which buzzed
-about him like gnats in Summer, each with its own particular hum and
-sting. He dressed hurriedly and took a book by way of escaping from
-them, a dry book which he compelled himself to read, rather than go
-crazy altogether. Good heavens, was he mad already? In that mysterious
-palace where the hero is brought blindfold, where he is waited on by
-unseen hands, and finds glorious garments and wonderful feasts magically
-prepared for him, is there not always in reserve a princess more
-wonderful still, who takes possession of the wayfarer? “Retro, Satanas!”
-cried poor Edgar, throwing the book from him, feeling his cheeks flush
-and burn like a girl’s, and his heart leap into his throat. No greater
-madness, no greater folly could be. It was no doing of his, he protested
-to himself with indignation and dismay. Some evil spirit had got hold of
-him; he refused to think, and yet these dreamy mocking fancies would get
-into his head. It was a relief beyond description to him when the dinner
-bell rang and he could hurry downstairs. When he went into the
-drawing-room, however, all the buzzing brood of thoughts which fluttered
-within him, grew still and departed in a moment; his heart ceased to
-thump, and an utter quiet and stillness took the place of the former
-commotion. Why? Simply because he found Lady Mary and Mr. Tottenham
-awaiting him calmly, without a vestige of any other _convive_, except a
-boy of twelve and a girl two years younger, who came up to him with a
-pretty demure frankness and put out their hands in welcome.
-
-“My boy and my girl,” said Mr. Tottenham; “and Molly, as your mother is
-going in with Mr. Earnshaw, you must try to look very grown up for the
-nonce, and take my arm and walk with me.”
-
-“And poor Phil must come alone!” said the little girl with mingled
-regret and triumph. No, it was very clear to Edgar that he himself was
-not only a fool of the first water, but a presumptuous ass, a coxcomb
-fool, everything that was worst and vainest. And yet it had not been his
-doing; it was not he who had originated these foolish thoughts, which
-had assailed, and swarmed, and buzzed about him like a crowd of gnats or
-wasps--wasps was the better word; for there was spitefulness in the way
-they had persisted and held their own; but now, thank heaven, they were
-done with! He came to himself with a little shudder, and gave Lady Mary
-his arm, and walked through the ordinary passage of an ordinary house,
-into a room which was a handsome dining-room, but not a mystic hall; and
-then they all sat down at table, the two children opposite to him, in
-the most prosaic and ordinary way.
-
-“You think it wrong to have the children, Mr. Earnshaw?” said Lady Mary,
-“and so do I--though I like it. It is only when we are alone, and it is
-all their father’s doing. I tell him it will spoil their digestion and
-their manners--”
-
-“If it spoils Molly’s manners to associate with her mother the more’s
-the pity,” said Mr. Tottenham, “we shall try the experiment anyhow. What
-we call the lower classes don’t treat their children as we do; they
-accept the responsibility and go in for the disagreeables; therefore,
-though we hate having those brats here, we go in for them on principle.
-Earnshaw, have you considered the matter of education? Have you any
-ideas on the subject? Not like your friend Lord Newmarch, who has the
-correct ideas on everything, cut and dry, delivered by the last post. I
-don’t want that. Have you any notions of your own?”
-
-“About education?” said Edgar, “I don’t think it. I fear I have few
-ideas on any abstract subject. The chances are that I will easily agree
-with you whatever may be your opinions; heaven has preserved me from
-having any of my own.”
-
-“Then you will just suit each other,” said Lady Mary, “which he and
-I--forgive me for letting you into our domestic miseries, Mr.
-Earnshaw--don’t do at all, on this point; for we have both ideas, and
-flourish them about us unmercifully. How happy he will be as long as he
-can have you to listen to him! not that I believe you will be half as
-good as your word.”
-
-“Ideas are the salt of life,” said Mr. Tottenham; “that of course is
-what has made you look so languid for some time past.”
-
-Edgar looked up in surprise. “Have I been looking languid? Have you been
-observing me?” he cried. “This is after all a fairy palace where I have
-been brought blindfolded, and where every action of my life is known.”
-
-Upon this, Mr. Philip Tottenham, aged twelve, pricked up his ears. “Were
-you brought here blindfolded?” he said. “What fun! like the Arabian
-Nights. I wish somebody would take me like that into a fairy palace,
-where there would be a beautiful lady--”
-
-“Phil, you are talking nonsense,” said his mother.
-
-“Where the dinner would come when you clapped your hands, and sherbets
-and ices and black servants, who would cross their arms on their breasts
-and nod their heads like images--It was he began it,” cried Philip,
-breathless, getting it all out in a burst before anyone could interpose.
-
-“You see how these poor children are spoilt,” said Lady Mary; “yes, he
-has been observing you, Mr. Earnshaw. I sent him into town three days in
-succession, on purpose.”
-
-“You have looked as languid as a young lady after the season,” said Mr.
-Tottenham calmly, “till I saw there was nothing for you but the country,
-and a sharp diet of talks and schemes, and the ideas you scorn. When a
-man is happy and prosperous, it is all very well for him to do nothing;
-but if you happen to be on the wrong side of the hill, my dear fellow,
-you can’t afford to keep quiet. You must move on, as Policeman X would
-say; or your friends must keep you moving on. To-morrow is Sunday,
-unfortunately, when we shall be obliged to keep moderately quiet--”
-
-“Is it wrong to talk on Sunday?” said the little girl, appealing gravely
-to Edgar, whom for some time she had been gazing at.
-
-“Not that I know of,” Edgar replied with a smile; but as he looked from
-one to the other of the parent pair, he said to himself that there was
-no telling what theory upon this subject these excellent people might
-have. They might be desperate Sabbatarians for anything he could tell.
-
-“Why do you ask Mr. Earnshaw, Molly?” said Lady Mary.
-
-“Because,” said Molly, “I saw his picture once. I knew him whenever I
-saw him, and when I asked who it was, they said it was a very good man.
-So I knew it must be quite right to ask him. Papa talks more on Sunday
-than on other days, though he always talks a great deal; and yet just
-now he said because it is Sunday we must be quiet. Then I said to
-myself, why must we be quiet on Sunday? is it wrong?”
-
-“This child is too logical for our peace of mind,” said Mr. Tottenham;
-“if it were Phil it would not matter so much, for school would soon
-drive that out of him.”
-
-“But he is not going to school,” said Lady Mary quickly.
-
-“Not yet, perhaps--but some time or other, I hope; a boy has not half
-lived who has not been to school. I suppose politics are your strong
-point, Earnshaw? Foreign politics, to judge from what I heard Newmarch
-saying. That fellow wants to pick your brains. I should not think it a
-subject that would pay, unless you made it your _cheval de bataille_,
-like Gordon Grant, who knows everything that happens abroad better than
-the people themselves do--who never, he tells us, see half what is going
-on.”
-
-“Quite true,” said Lady Mary, “they never do; one doesn’t in one’s own
-experience. One finds out all the little incidents afterwards, and
-pieces them into their places.”
-
-“Only it is Earnshaw who is to find out the little incidents, and
-Newmarch who is to piece them into their places,” said her husband;
-“hard work for the one, great fun, and great glory besides, for the
-other. I don’t think I should care to be jackal to Newmarch; especially
-as he means all this to be done, not by a Secretary of Legation, but by
-a Queen’s Messenger. Do you know what kind of life that is?”
-
-Edgar shook his head. He knew nothing about it, and at this moment he
-did not care very much. The buzzing and persecution of those thoughts
-which were none of his, which had a separate existence of their own, and
-tortured him for admission into his mind, had recommenced. What had he
-been brought here for? Why did they attempt to disgust him with the only
-career open before him? What did they intend to do with him? The father
-and his boy might be ordinary beings enough, with whom he could have
-kept up an ordinary intercourse; but Lady Mary and her little daughter
-had the strangest effect upon the young man. One of them was full grown,
-motherly, on the border of middle age--the other was but a child; yet
-the tone of their voices, the turn of their heads, all suggested to him
-some one else who was not there. Even little Molly had the family
-gestures, the throwing back of the light locks, the sweet brightness of
-the eyes, which were so playful and soft, yet so full of vivacious
-spirit and life. Poor Edgar was kept in a kind of confused rapture
-between the mother and the child; both of them reflected another face,
-and echoed another voice to him; between them they seemed to be stealing
-all the strength out of him, the very heart from his bosom. He had been
-absent three years and had it all come to this, that the soft strain of
-enchantment which had charmed him so softly, so lightly, never to any
-height of passion, had grown stronger with time, and moved him now more
-deeply than at first? These persecuting thoughts made a swoop upon him
-like a flight of birds, sweeping down through the air and surrounding
-him, as he sat there helpless. Why had he been brought to this
-magician’s palace? What did they mean to do with him now? The child had
-seen his portrait, the father had been sent to watch him, the mother
-asked had anything been said. What was about to be said? What were they
-going to do with him? Poor Edgar looked out as from a mist, gradually
-overwhelmed by his own excitement, and finally left the doors of his
-helpless heart open, as it were, making it a highway through which any
-kind of futile supposition might flit and dance. He sat helpless,
-excited and wondering. What were they going to do with him? He did not
-know.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV.
-
-Reality.
-
-
-The frost hardened again in the night, and Tottenham’s was all white and
-shining when Edgar looked out from his window in the morning. The house
-was square and somewhat ugly, but the great semi-circle of trees which
-swept round it was made into something magical by the feathery silvering
-of the rime which coated every branch and every twig. He made an
-exclamation of pleasure when he looked out. The grass, the trees, the
-glistening pinnacles of the great conservatory which stretched to the
-south, just catching a glimpse of frosty and wavering sunlight upon
-their metallic tops, were all virgin white, though here and there it
-began to melt in the sun. Edgar had been far from thinking himself happy
-when he fell asleep on the previous night; he was still confused and
-harassed by his thoughts, keeping up a hopeless struggle against them;
-but he woke up in a state of causeless exhilaration, he did not know
-why. The hoar frost and the red sunshine went to his head. His heart
-beat more lightly than usual, the blood coursed pleasantly through his
-veins. He was like most imaginative people, often glad, and sorry he did
-not know why, and a certain unreasonable capricious confidence in his
-fate came over him to-day. Something good was coming to him he felt
-sure.
-
-The breakfast table at Tottenham’s was lively enough. Lady Mary and her
-husband were in full and animated discussion about something or other,
-with a shoal of opened letters lying before them, and all the newspapers
-that could be had, when Edgar made his appearance somewhat late. The
-children who were present on the previous night were flanked by another
-small pair, too small to be restrained by mamma, who chattered and
-crowed, and made themselves very happy. A bright fire was burning, and
-the red sunshine shone in, glinting over the white covered table and its
-shining dishes.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw will agree with me,” Lady Mary cried as he went in,
-appealing to him.
-
-“Come along, Earnshaw, you will take my side,” said Mr. Tottenham.
-
-They were both eager to claim his help, and the elder children looked up
-at him with the freedom of perfect ease and intimacy.
-
-“Nobody can ever call Molly the late one, now Mr. Earnshaw is here,”
-cried Phil exulting. They all received him as one of themselves, and in
-everything they said there was a silent suggestion that he belonged to
-them, that he was to remain with them, which bewildered him beyond
-words. The letters on the table were about every subject under heaven.
-They had their domestic correspondence, I suppose, and family affairs of
-their own; but these epistles were all about “schemes” of one kind and
-another, plans for the reformation of heaven knows how many classes of
-society, and for the improvement of the world altogether, which indeed
-has great need of improvement. I cannot tell what the special question
-might be that morning; there were so many of them that it was difficult
-for a stranger to discriminate; and as Lady Mary had told him, she and
-her husband very seldom agreed. They were both intensely in earnest, and
-both threw themselves with all their might into everything they did.
-Edgar, however, was not in a mood to utter any oracles, or to associate
-himself with one scheme or another. He was disposed to enjoy the strange
-holiday which had come to him, he could not tell how. He left the father
-and mother to themselves, and addressed himself to the children.
-
-“Phil,” he said, “you and I are ignoramuses, we don’t know about these
-deep matters. Talk to me of something within my capacity; or Molly, if
-Phil will not talk, do you.”
-
-The reply to this was that both children talked together.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw, the ice is bearing; what an awful pity it’s Sunday!” said
-the boy, “I wanted to tell you whenever you came in--” and “Oh, Mr.
-Earnshaw, come to church with us, and I’ll show you the village and my
-pet old woman who tells us stories,” said the little girl.
-
-Edgar was delighted. He asked about the ice, what it was, an ornamental
-piece of water, or the village pond; and told Molly he would go and see
-her village, and try whether he or she could remember most of the
-sermon. Phil interfered when he heard this bargain. He shook his head
-over the rashness of his new friend.
-
-“She has an awful good memory,” he said, “I wouldn’t try against her,
-Mr. Earnshaw, if I was you. She remembers what people said ages and ages
-ago, and comes down upon you after you have forgotten all about it. I
-wouldn’t go in against Moll.”
-
-“But I haven’t such an awfully good memory for sermons,” said Molly,
-with modest deprecation of the excessive praise, “though I do remember
-most things pretty well.”
-
-“Molly will win of course; but I shall try my best,” said Edgar. The
-children suited him best on this day of exhilaration when his heart was
-so foolishly free. He caught the father and mother looking at him, with
-significant glances to each other, while this conversation was going on,
-and was bewildered to think what they could mean. What did they mean? It
-was altogether bewildering and perplexing. The man who attended him that
-morning had informed him that he had been told off for his especial
-service, and had looked somewhat offended when Edgar laughed and
-declared he required no particular tending. “I ’ad my horders, Sir,”
-said the man. Everybody seemed to have their orders; and if that curious
-insanity of thought which had assailed him yesterday, a running riot of
-imagination, for which he did not feel himself to be responsible--if
-that came back again, tearing open the doors of his heart, and pouring
-through them, was it his fault?
-
-The village lay at the park gates; but villages so near London are not
-like villages in the depths of the country. This was one where there was
-a number of smaller gentlefolks, tributaries on all great occasions of
-Tottenham’s; but when they had a chance, very glad to note any
-deficiency on the part of the man whom they called a _nouveau riche_,
-and even a shopkeeper, which was the title of deepest reproach they
-could think of. Indeed if Mr. Tottenham had not married Lady Mary, I
-believe he would have had many little pricks and stings from his poor
-yet well-born neighbours; but a Lady Mary in English village society
-cannot do wrong. It was a pleasant walk to church, where they all went
-together, the children walking demurely in honour of Sunday, though
-Phil’s eye and heart were tempted by the long expanse of white which
-showed between two lines of green at the right side of the road.
-
-“It is hard enough to bear the big town carriage,” he said
-confidentially to Edgar, “or one of the farmer’s huge carts.”
-
-“We’ll go and see it after church,” said Edgar in the same tone; and so
-the little procession moved on. Perhaps Lady Mary was the one who cared
-for this family progress to church the least. Mr. Tottenham, though he
-was given over to schemes of the most philosophical description, was the
-simplest soul alive, doing his duty in this respect with as light a
-heart as his children. But Lady Mary was very “viewy.” She was an
-advanced liberal, and read the “Fortnightly,” and smiled at many things
-that were said out of the pulpit once a week. Sometimes even she would
-laugh a little at the “duty” of going to church, and hearing old Mr.
-Burton maunder for half an hour; but all the same she respected her
-husband’s prejudices, and the traditions of the superior class, which,
-even when it believes in natural equality, still feels it necessary to
-set an example to its neighbours. Lady Mary professed sentiments which
-were inclined towards republicanism and democracy; but nevertheless she
-knew that she was one of the gods, and had to conduct herself as became
-that regnant position among men.
-
-“There goes the shopkeeper and his family,” said Mrs. Colonel
-Witherington from her window, which looked out on the village green.
-“Girls, it is time to put on your bonnets. A man like that is bred up to
-be punctual; he comes to church as he goes to the shop, as the hour
-strikes. There he goes--”
-
-“As ostentatiously humble as ever,” said one of the girls.
-
-“And he has got one of the shopmen with him, mamma,” said Myra, who was
-the wit of the family. “Not a bad looking draper’s assistant; they
-always have the shopmen out on Sundays. Poor fellows, it is their only
-day.”
-
-“Poor fellows, indeed! I suppose Lady Mary thinks because she is an
-earl’s daughter she can do whatever she likes; introducing such people
-as these into the society of gentle-folks,” cried the mother. “Myra,
-don’t stand laughing there, but put on your things.”
-
-“We need not go into their society unless we please,” said Myra.
-
-“And to be sure an Earl’s daughter _can_ do whatever she likes; no
-nonsense of that description will make _her_ lose caste,” said the
-eldest Miss Witherington, turning away from the window with a sigh. This
-poor young lady, not being an Earl’s daughter, had not been able to do
-as she liked, or to marry as she liked, and she felt the difference far
-more keenly than her mother did, who was affected only in theory. This
-was one of the many scraps of neighbourly talk which went on at Harbour
-Green when the party from Tottenham’s were seen walking through the
-village to church. Lady Mary was an Earl’s daughter, and she _did_ take
-it upon her to do precisely as she liked; but her neighbours directed
-most of their indignation upon her husband who had no such privileges, a
-man who was civil to everybody, and whom they all confessed, whenever
-they wanted anything of him, to be the best-natured fellow in the world.
-
-The service in the little church was not so well-conducted as it might
-have been, had Lady Mary taken more interest in it; but still the lesser
-authorities had done something for the training of the choir, and a
-gentle Ritualism, not too pronounced as yet, kept everything in a
-certain good order. Lady Mary herself did not take the same honest and
-simple part in the devotions as her husband and children did; various
-parts of the service went against her views; she smiled a little as she
-listened to the sermon. A close observer might have noticed that, though
-she behaved with the most perfect decorum, as a great lady ought, she
-yet felt herself somewhat superior to all that was going on. I cannot
-say that Edgar noticed this on his first Sunday at Harbour Green, though
-he may have remarked it afterwards; but Edgar’s mind was not at the
-present moment sufficiently free to remark upon individual peculiarity.
-The sense of novelty or something else more exciting still worked in
-him, and left him in a state of vague agitation; and when the service
-being over, Lady Mary hurried on with the children, on pretence of
-calling on some one, and left Mr. Tottenham with Edgar, the young man
-felt his heart beat higher, and knew that the moment at last had come.
-
-“Well, Earnshaw! you have not had much time to judge, it is true; but
-how do you think you like us?” said Mr. Tottenham. The question was odd,
-but the questioner’s face was as grave as that of a judge. “We are hasty
-people, and you are hasty,” he added, “so it is not so absurd as it
-might be; how do you think you shall like us? Now speak out, never mind
-our feelings. I am not asking you sentimentally, but from a purely
-business point of view.”
-
-“I am so hasty a man,” said Edgar, laughing, with a much stronger sense
-of the comic character of the position than the other had, “that I made
-up my mind at sight, as one generally does; but since then you have so
-bribed me by kindness--”
-
-“Then you do like us!” said Mr. Tottenham, holding out his hand, “I
-thought you would. Of course if you had not liked us our whole scheme
-would have come to nothing, and Mary had rather set her heart on it. You
-will be sure not to take offence, or to think us impertinent if I tell
-you what we thought?”
-
-“One word,” said Edgar with nervous haste. “Tell me first what it has
-been that has made you take such a warm interest in me?”
-
-Mr. Tottenham winced and twisted his slim long person as a man in an
-embarrassing position is apt to do. “Well,” he said, “Earnshaw, I don’t
-know that we can enter into it so closely as that. We have always taken
-an interest in you, since the time when you were a great friend of the
-Thornleigh’s and we were always hearing of you; and when you behaved so
-well in that bad business. And then some months ago we heard that you
-had been seen coming up from Scotland--travelling,” Mr. Tottenham added,
-with hesitation, “in the cheap way.”
-
-“Who told you that?” Edgar’s curiosity gave a sharpness which he had not
-intended to his voice.
-
-“Come, come,” said Mr. Tottenham good-humouredly; “that is just the
-point which I cannot enter into. But you may permit us to be interested,
-though we can’t describe in full detail how it came about. Earnshaw,
-Mary and I are fanciful sort of people, as you perceive; we don’t always
-keep to the beaten path; and we want you to do us a favour. What I am
-going to ask may be a little irregular; it may sound a little
-obtrusive; you may take it amiss; though I hope not--”
-
-“I shall not take it amiss in any case,” Edgar managed to say; but his
-heart was beating very loudly, and an agitation for which he could not
-account had got possession of his whole being. His mind went wildly over
-a whole world of conjecture, and I need not add that he was utterly
-astray in everything he thought of, and did not reach to the faintest
-notion of what his companion meant to be at.
-
-“In the first place,” said Mr. Tottenham nervously, “it is evident that
-you must wait till there is an opening in that business with Newmarch. I
-don’t doubt in the least that he wants to have you, and that he’ll give
-you the first vacancy; but he can’t kill off a man on purpose, though I
-dare say he would if he could. I don’t go on to say in the second place,
-as I might perhaps, that a Queen’s Messenger has a very wearisome life,
-and not much to make amends for it--”
-
-Here he paused to take breath, while Edgar watched and wondered, getting
-more and more bewildered every moment in the maze of conjecture through
-which he could not find his way.
-
-“Of course,” said Mr. Tottenham, himself displaying a certain amount of
-rising excitement, “I don’t mean to say that you ought not to accept
-such an appointment if it was offered. But in the meantime, what are you
-to do? Live in London, and waste your resources, and break your spirit
-with continual waiting? I say no, no, by no means; and this is what put
-it into my head to say what I am going to say to you, and to insist
-upon your coming here.”
-
-What was he going to say? Still Edgar, subdued by his own excitement,
-could make no reply. Mr. Tottenham paused also, as if half fearing to
-take the plunge.
-
-“What we meant, Earnshaw,” he said abruptly, at last, “what Mary and I
-want, if you will do it, is--that you should stay with us and take
-charge of our boy.”
-
-The last words he uttered hastily, and almost sharply, as if throwing
-something out that burned him while he held it. And oh! dear reader, how
-can I express to you the way in which poor Edgar fell, fell, low down,
-and lower down, as into some echoing depth, when these words fell upon
-his dismayed and astonished ears! Take charge of their boy! God help
-him! what had he been thinking about? He could not himself tell;
-nothing, a chimera, the foolishest of dreams, some wild fancy which
-involved the future in a vain haze of brightness with the image of the
-veiled maiden in the railway carriage, and of Gussy, who was never
-veiled. Oh, Heaven and earth! what a fool, what a fool he was! She had
-nothing to do with it; he himself had nothing to do with it. It was but
-a benevolent scheme of people with a great many benevolent schemes about
-them, for the relief of a poor young fellow whom they knew to be in
-trouble. That was all. Edgar went on walking as in a dream, feeling
-himself spin round and round and go down, as to the bottom of some well.
-He could hear that Mr. Tottenham went on speaking, and the hum of his
-voice made, as it were, a running accompaniment to his own hubbub of
-inarticulate thoughts; Edgar heard it, yet heard it not. When he woke up
-from this confusion, it was quite suddenly, by reason of a pause in the
-accompanying voice. The last words his bewildered intelligence caught up
-were these:
-
-“You will think it over, and tell me your decision later. You will
-understand that we both beg you to forgive us, if we have said or done
-anything which is disagreeable to you, Earnshaw. You promise me to
-remember that?”
-
-“Disagreeable!” Edgar murmured half consciously. “Why should it be
-disagreeable?” but even his own voice seemed to be changed in his own
-ear as he said it. He was all changed, and everything about him. “I must
-go across to the pond before I go in,” he added, somewhat abruptly. “I
-promised Philip to look at the ice;” and with scarcely any further
-excuse, set off across the grass, from which the whiteness and crispness
-of the morning frosts had been stolen away by the sun. He could not get
-free of the physical sensation of having fallen. He seemed to himself to
-be bruised and shaken; he could do nothing with his mind but realize and
-identify his state; he could not discuss it with himself. It did not
-seem to him even that he knew what he had been thinking of, what he had
-been hoping; he knew only that he had fallen from some strange height,
-and lay at the bottom somewhere, aching and broken in heart and
-strength, stunned by the fall, and so confused that he did not know what
-had happened to him, or what he must do next. In this state of mind he
-walked mechanically across the grass, and gazed at the frozen pond,
-without knowing what he was doing, and then strode mechanically away
-from it, and went home. (How soon we begin to call any kind of a place
-home, when we have occasion to use it as such!). He went home, back to
-his room, the room which surely, he thought to himself, was too good for
-Mr. Tottenham’s tutor, which was the post he had been asked to occupy.
-Mr. Tottenham’s boy’s tutor, that was the phrase.
-
-It was his own repetition of these words which roused him a little; the
-tutor in the house; the handy man who was made to do everything; the one
-individual among the gentlemen of the house whom it was possible to
-order about; who was an equal, and yet no equal. No, Edgar said to
-himself, with a generous swelling of his heart, it was not thus that a
-dependent would be treated in Mr. Tottenham’s house; but the very idea
-of being a dependent struck him with such sharp poignancy of surprise,
-as well as pain, that he could not calm himself down, or make the best
-of it. He had never tasted what this was like yet. When he had made his
-application to Lord Newmarch, the experience had not been a pleasant
-one; but it was short at least, and the position he had hoped for had
-been independent at least. In it, he would have been no man’s servant,
-but the Queen’s, whom all men delight to serve. Mr. Tottenham’s tutor
-was a very different thing.
-
-He sat at his window, and heard without knowing the great luncheon-bell
-peal out through all the echoes. He felt that he could not go downstairs
-to confront them all, while still in the confusion and stupor of his
-downfall; for he had sustained a downfall more terrible than anyone
-knew, more bewildering than he could even realize himself; from vague,
-strange, delicious suspicions of something coming which might change all
-his life, down to a sickening certainty of something come, which would
-indeed change everything in every way, in the estimation of the world
-and of himself.
-
-Mr. Tottenham walked home very seriously on his side, after this
-interview. He had some sort of comprehension that the proposal he had
-just made was one which, at the first hearing, would not delight his new
-friend; and he was sufficiently friendly and large-minded to permit the
-young man a little moment of ruffled pride, a little misery, even a
-little offence, before he could make up his mind to it, notwithstanding
-that it was, on the part of the Tottenhams, an impulse of almost pure
-and unmixed charity and kindness which had suggested it. They were
-impulsive people both, and fond of making themselves the Providence of
-poorer people; and the very best thing that can be said of them, better
-even than their universal and crotchety willingness to serve everybody
-who came in their way, was their composure when the intended recipients
-of their bounty hesitated, or, as sometimes happened, kicked at it
-altogether. Their kindnesses, their bounties, their crotchets, and their
-theories were all mixed up together, and might occasionally be less
-good, and do less good than they were meant to do; but the toleration
-which permitted a prospective _protégé_ to weigh the benefit offered,
-without any angry consciousness of his want of gratitude, was admirable,
-and much more unusual in this world than even the kindness itself. Mr.
-Tottenham hurried off to his wife, and told her all about it; and the
-two together waited for Edgar’s decision with sympathetic excitement,
-almost as much disturbed in their minds as he was, and with no indignant
-feeling that their good intentions were having scanty justice. On the
-contrary, they discussed the matter as they might have done something in
-which their _amour propre_ was not at all engaged.
-
-“I hope he will see it is the best thing for him,” said Mr. Tottenham.
-
-“Of course it is the best thing for him, and he must see it,” said the
-more impetuous Lady Mary; but neither one nor the other declared that he
-would be a fool or ungrateful if he neglected this opening, as so many
-intending benefactors would. They discussed it all the afternoon, taking
-their Sunday stroll together through the greenhouses, which were
-splendid, and talking of nothing but Edgar.
-
-“He must do it; we must insist upon it, Tom,” Lady Mary cried, growing
-more and more eager.
-
-“I cannot make him, dear, if he don’t see it,” said the husband, shaking
-his head.
-
-Thus both upstairs and downstairs there was but one subject of
-consideration. The ugly things about dependence, about domestic slavery,
-about the equal who would not be an equal, which Edgar was saying to
-himself, found no echo in the talk of the good people, full of wealth
-and power to benefit others, who puckered their brows on the subject
-downstairs. In this respect the thoughts of the poor man whom they
-wanted to befriend, were much less generous than theirs who wanted to
-befriend him. He judged them harshly, and they judged him kindly. He
-attributed intentions and motives to them which they were guiltless of,
-and thought of himself as degraded in their eyes by the kindness they
-had offered; while, in fact, he had become a most important person to
-them, solely on that account--a person occupying a superior position,
-with power to decide against or for them, to honour or discredit their
-judgment. Indeed, I am bound to allow that Edgar was not generous at all
-at this moment of his career, and that his hosts were. But ah me! it is
-so much easier to be generous, to be tolerant, to think the best, when
-you are rich and can confer favours; so difficult to keep up your
-optimist views, and to see the best side of everything, when you are
-poor!
-
-“He will either come down and tell us that he accepts, or he will pack
-his things and go off to-night,” said Lady Mary as they waited. They
-were seated in the conservatory, in the centre circle under the
-glittering glass dome, which had been built to give room for the great
-feathery branches of a palm tree. This was the favourite spot in which
-all the pretty luxury of these conservatories culminated. Some
-bright-coloured Persian rugs were laid on the floor, here and there,
-upon which were some half-dozen chairs, half rustic and wholly
-luxurious. All the flowers that art can extract or force from nature in
-the depth of Winter were grouped about, great moon-discs of white
-camellias, heaths covered with fairy bells, spotless primulas rising
-from out the rough velvet of their leaves. The atmosphere was soft as a
-moderate gentle Summer, and the great palm leaves stirred now and then
-against the high dome of glass. Mr. Tottenham lounged on a rustic sofa,
-with a cloud of anxiety on his face, and Lady Mary, too anxious to
-lounge, sat bolt upright and listened. Why were those good people
-anxious? I cannot tell; they wanted, I suppose, to succeed in this good
-action which they had set their hearts on doing; they did not want to be
-foiled; and they had set their hearts upon delivering Edgar from his
-difficulties, and making him comfortable. Along with their other
-sentiments there was mixed a certain generous fear lest they should have
-been precipitate, lest they should have hurt the feelings and wounded
-the pride of their friend whom they wished to serve. I wish there were
-more of such people, and more of such susceptibilities in the world.
-
-They sat thus, until the twilight grew so deep and shadowy that they
-could scarcely see each other. It was very cold outside, where
-everything began again to congeal and whiten, and all the world resigned
-itself with a groan to the long, long interval of dead darkness,
-hopelessness, and cold which must deepen before day. At the end of a
-vista of shrubs and great evergreen plants, the red glow of the
-drawing-room fire shone out, shining there like a ruddy star in the
-distance. Lady Mary drew her shawl round her with a little shiver, and
-her husband got up and yawned in the weariness of suspense. Had he gone
-away without giving an answer? Had they done nothing but harm, though
-they had wished so much to do good. They both started like a couple of
-guilty conspirators when at length a step was heard approaching, and
-Edgar appeared, half hesitating, half eager, against the glow of the
-distant fire.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI.
-
-A Pair of Philanthropists.
-
-
-I need not describe the many struggles of feeling which Edgar went
-through on that memorable Sunday, before he finally made up his mind to
-accept Mr. Tottenham’s proposal, and do the only thing which remained
-possible for him, his only alternative between work of some sort and
-idleness--between spending his last little remnant of money and
-beginning to earn some more--a thing which he had never yet done in his
-life. It was very strange to the young man, after so long an interval of
-a very different life, to return vicariously, as it were, not in his own
-right, to the habits and surroundings of luxury. He felt a whimsical
-inclination at first to explain to everybody he encountered that he was,
-so to speak, an impostor, having no right to all the good things about
-him, but being only Mr. Tottenham’s upper servant, existing in the
-atmosphere of the drawing-room only on sufferance and by courtesy.
-People in such circumstances are generally, I believe, very differently
-affected, or so at least one reads in story. They are generally pictured
-as standing perpetually on the defensive, looking out for offence,
-anticipating injury, and in a sore state of compulsory humility or
-rather humiliation. I do not know whether Edgar’s humorous character
-could ever have been driven by ill-usage to feel in this way, but as he
-had no ill-usage to put up with, but much the reverse, he took a totally
-different view. After the first conflict with himself was over, which we
-have already indicated, he came to consider his tutorship a good joke,
-as indeed, I am sorry to say, everybody else did--even Phil, who was in
-high glee over his new instructor.
-
-“I don’t know what I am to teach him,” Edgar had said to the boy’s
-parents when he came down to the conservatory on the memorable Sunday I
-have already described, and joined the anxious pair.
-
-“Teach him whatever you know,” Lady Mary had answered; but Edgar’s half
-mirthful, half dismayed sense of unfitness for the post they thrust upon
-him was not much altered by this impulsive speech.
-
-“What do I know?” he said to himself next morning when, coming down
-early before any one else, he found himself alone in the library, with
-all the materials for instruction round him. Edgar had not himself been
-educated in England, and he did not know whether such knowledge as he
-possessed might not suffer from being transmitted in an unusual way
-without the orthodox form. “My Latin and Greek may be good enough,
-though I doubt it,” he said, when Mr. Tottenham joined him, “but how if
-they are found to be quite out of the Eton shape, and therefore no good
-to Phil?”
-
-“Never mind the Eton shape, or any other shape,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-“you heard what Mary said, and her opinion may be relied upon. Teach him
-what you know. Why, he is only twelve, he has time enough for mere
-shape, I hope.”
-
-And thus Edgar was again silenced. He was, however, a tolerably good
-scholar, and as it happened, in pure idleness had lately betaken himself
-again to those classical studies which so many men lay aside with their
-youth. And in the library at Tottenham’s there was a crowd of books
-bearing upon all possible theories of education, which Edgar, with a
-private smile at himself, carried to his room with him in detachments,
-and pored over with great impartiality, reading the most opposite
-systems one after another. When he told Lady Mary about his studies, she
-afforded immediate advice and information. She knew a great deal more
-about them than he did. She had tried various systems, each antagonistic
-to the other, in her own pet schools in the village, and she was far
-from having made up her mind on the subject.
-
-“I confess to you frankly, Mr. Earnshaw,” said Lady Mary, “sometimes I
-think we have nothing in the world to trust to but education, which is
-the rational view; and sometimes I feel that I put no faith in it at
-all.”
-
-“That is something like my own opinion,” said Earnshaw, “though I have
-permitted you to do yourselves the injustice of appointing me tutor to
-Phil.”
-
-“Education, like everything else, depends so much on one’s theory of
-life,” said Lady Mary, “Mr. Tottenham and I think differently on the
-subject, which is a great pity, though I don’t see that it does us much
-harm. My husband is content to take things as they are, which is by much
-the more comfortable way; but that too is a matter of temperament. Phil
-will be sure to get on if you will bring him into real correspondence
-with your own mind. Molly gives me a great deal more trouble; a man can
-get himself educated one way or another, a woman can’t.”
-
-“Is it so?” said Edgar, “pardon my ignorance. I thought most ladies were
-terribly well educated.”
-
-“Ah, I know what you mean!” said Lady Mary, “educated in nothings,
-taught to display all their little bits of superficial information. It
-is not only that women get no education, Mr. Earnshaw, but how are we to
-get it for them? Of course an effort may be made for a girl in Molly’s
-position, with parents who fully appreciate the difficulties of the
-matter; but for girls of the middle classes for instance? they get a
-little very bad music, and worse French, and this is considered
-education. I dare say you will help me by and by in one of my pet
-schemes. Some of my friends in town have been so very good as to join me
-in a little effort I am making to raise the standard. The rector here, a
-well-meaning sort of man, has been persuaded to join, and to give us a
-nicish sort of schoolroom which happens to be unoccupied, and his
-countenance, which does us good with old fashioned people. I have spent
-a good deal of time on the scheme myself, and it is one of my chief
-interests. I quite reckon upon you to help.”
-
-“What must I do?” said Edgar with a plaintive tone in his voice. Alas,
-worse had happened to him than falling into the hands of thieves who
-could only rob him--no more. He had fallen into the hands of good
-Samaritans who could do a great deal worse. He thought of ragged-schools
-and unruly infants; his thoughts went no further, and to this he
-resigned himself with a sigh.
-
-“Then you will really help?” cried Lady Mary delighted, “I knew from the
-first you would be the greatest acquisition to us. My plan is to have
-lectures, Mr. Earnshaw, upon various subjects; they last only during the
-winter, and a great number of girls have begun to attend. One of my
-friends takes Latin, another French. Alas, our German lecturer has just
-failed us! if you could supply his place it would be perfect. Then we
-have history, mathematics, and literature; we cannot do much of course,
-but even a little is better than nothing. It would not take up very much
-of your time; an hour and a half a week, with perhaps a moment now and
-then to look after exercises, &c.”
-
-“Am I expected to teach German to anybody in an hour and a half a week?”
-said Edgar, laughing. “It is a small expenditure for so great a result.”
-
-“Of course you think it can only be a smattering--and that a smattering
-is a bad thing?” said the social reformer, “but we really do produce
-very good results--you shall see if you will but try.”
-
-“And what branch, may I ask, do you take?” said the ignorant neophyte.
-
-“_I_, Mr. Earnshaw! why I learn!” cried Lady Mary; “if I could I would
-go in for all the studies, but that is impossible. I follow as many as I
-can, and find it an admirable discipline for the mind, just that
-discipline which is denied to women. Why do you look at me so strangely?
-Why do you laugh? I assure you I mean what I say.”
-
-“If I must not laugh, pray teach me some more philosophical way of
-expressing my feelings,” said Edgar, “I fear I should laugh still more
-if you did me the honour to select me as one of your instructors. A year
-hence when I have been well trained by Phil, I may have a little more
-confidence in myself.”
-
-“If you mean,” said Lady Mary, somewhat offended, “that instructing
-others is the best way to confirm your own knowledge, I am sure you are
-quite right; but if you mean to laugh at my scheme--”
-
-“Pray pardon me,” said Edgar, “I can’t help it. The idea of teaching you
-is too much for my gravity. Tell me who the other learned pundits are
-from whom Lady Mary Tottenham learns--”
-
-“Lady Mary Tottenham would learn from any man who had anything to teach
-her,” she answered with momentary anger; then added with a short laugh,
-extorted from her against her will, “Mr. Earnshaw, you are very
-impertinent and unkind; why should you laugh at one’s endeavour to help
-one’s fellow-creatures to a little instruction, and one’s self--”
-
-“Are you quarrelling?” said Mr. Tottenham, stalking in suddenly, with
-his glass in his eye. “What is the matter? Earnshaw, I want to interest
-you in a very pet scheme of mine. When my wife has done with you, let me
-have a hearing. I want him to drive in with me to Tottenham’s, Mary, and
-see what is doing there.”
-
-“I hope Mr. Earnshaw will be kinder to you than he has been to me,” said
-Lady Mary; “at me he does nothing but laugh. He despises women, I
-suppose, like so many other men, and thinks us beneath the range of
-intellectual beings.”
-
-“What a cruel judgment,” said Edgar, “because I am tickled beyond
-measure at the thought of having anything to teach you, and at the
-suggestion that you can improve your mind by attending lectures, and are
-undergoing mental discipline by means of mathematics and history--”
-
-“Oh, then it is only that you think me too old,” said Lady Mary, with
-the not unagreeable amusement of a pretty woman who knows herself to be
-not old, and to look still younger and fresher than she feels; and they
-had an amiable laugh over this excellent joke, which entirely restored
-the friendly relations between them. Mr. Tottenham smiled reflectively
-with his glass in his eye, not looking into the matter. He was too
-seriously occupied with his own affairs to enter into any unnecessary
-merriment.
-
-“Come along, Earnshaw,” he said, “I want you to come into Tottenham’s
-with me, and on the way I will tell you all about my scheme, which my
-wife takes a great interest in also. You will come to the next evening,
-Mary? It is always so much more successful when you are there.”
-
-“Surely,” said Lady Mary with a vague smile, as she gathered up a bundle
-of papers which she had produced to show Edgar. She shook her head over
-them as she turned away. Her husband’s schemes she patronized with a
-gentle interest; but her own occupied her a great deal more warmly as
-was natural. “You have not given me half the consideration my plan
-deserves,” she said half pathetically, “but don’t think I mean to let
-you off on that account,” and with a friendly smile to both the
-gentlemen she went to her own concerns. The library had been the scene
-of the conversation, and Lady Mary now withdrew to her own special
-table, which was placed in front of a great bay-window overlooking the
-flower-garden. It was a very large room, and Mr. Tottenham’s table had a
-less favourable aspect, with nothing visible but dark shrubberies from
-the window behind him, to which he judiciously turned his back.
-
-“Mary prefers to look out, and I to look in,” he said; “to be sure I
-have her to look at, which makes a difference.”
-
-This huge room was the centre of their morning occupations, and the
-scene of many an amiable controversy. The two tables which belonged to
-the pair individually were both covered with papers, that of Lady Mary
-being the most orderly, but not the least crowded, while a third large
-table, in front of the fire, covered with books and newspapers, offered
-scope for any visitor who might chance to join them in their viewy and
-speculative seclusion. As a matter of fact, most people who came to
-Tottenham’s, gravitated sooner or later towards this room. It was the
-point of meeting in the morning, just as the palm-tree in the
-conservatory was the centre of interest in the afternoon.
-
-“I am writing to Lyons to come to my next evening,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-taking his place at his own table, while Lady Mary with her back towards
-the other occupants of the room scribbled rapidly at hers.
-
-“Do you think they will care for Lyons?” asked Lady Mary without turning
-round, “you forget always that amusement and not information is what
-they want--”
-
-“Amusement is what we all want, my dear,” said her husband, with
-apologetic mildness. “We approach the subject in different ways. You
-call in the same man to instruct as I do to amuse. We agree as to the
-man, but we don’t agree as to the object; and yet it comes to the very
-same thing at last.”
-
-“You think so,” said Lady Mary, still with her back turned; “but we
-shall see by the results.”
-
-“Yes, Lyons is coming,” said Mr. Tottenham. “I don’t know if you have
-heard him, Earnshaw. He has been in Africa, and all over the world. My
-own opinion is that he is rather a stupid fellow; but, so long as other
-people don’t think so, what does that matter? He is coming; and, my
-dear fellow, if you would listen to what I am going to tell you, and
-take an interest in my people--”
-
-“What would happen?” said Edgar, as the other paused. He was half amused
-and half alarmed by the turn that things were taking, and did not know
-what strange use he might be put to next.
-
-“Ah, I don’t know what might not happen,” said Mr. Tottenham, yielding
-for a moment to the influence of Edgar’s distressed but humorous
-countenance. “However, don’t be frightened. You shall not be forced to
-do anything. I don’t approve of over-persuasion. But supposing that you
-should be interested, as I expect, a great deal more than you think--”
-
-This he said in a deprecatory, propitiatory way, looking up suddenly
-from the letter he was writing. Edgar stood in front of the fire,
-contemplating both parties, and he was half touched as well as more than
-half amused by this look. He did not even know what it was he was called
-upon to interest himself in; but the eagerness of his companions, about
-their several plans, went to his heart.
-
-“You may be sure, if there is anything I can do--” he said, impulsively.
-
-“You should not allow Mr. Earnshaw to commit himself till he has seen
-what it is,” said Lady Mary, from the opposite table; and then she, too,
-turned half round, pen in hand, and fixed an earnest gaze upon him. “I
-may write to my people and tell them the German class will be resumed
-next week?” she said, with much the same entreating look as her husband
-had put on. It was all Edgar could do to preserve his gravity, and not
-reply with indecorous gaiety, like that which had provoked her before;
-for Lady Mary, on this point at least, was less tolerant and more easily
-affronted than her husband.
-
-“If you think I can be of any use,” he said, trying to look as serious
-as possible; and thus, before he knew, the double bargain was made.
-
-It would be impossible to describe in words the whimsical unreality of
-the situation in which Edgar thus found himself when he got into Mr.
-Tottenham’s phaeton to be driven back to town, in order to be made
-acquainted with the other “Tottenham’s.” Only a few days had passed
-since the wintry evening when he arrived a stranger at the hospitable
-but unknown house. He was a stranger still according to all rules, but
-yet his life had suddenly become entangled with the lives which a week
-ago he had never heard of. He was no visitor, but a member of the
-family, with distinct duties in it; involved even in its eccentricities,
-its peculiarities, its quaint benevolences. Edgar felt his head swim as
-they drove from the door which he had entered for the first time so very
-short a while ago. Was he in a dream? or had he gone astray out of the
-ordinary workday world into some modern version of the Arabian Nights?
-
-“You remember what I told you, Earnshaw, about the shop?” said his
-companion. “It is for the shop that I bespeak your interest now. I told
-you that my wife had no false pride on the subject, and how she cured
-me of my absurdity. I draw a great deal of money out of it, and I employ
-a great number of people. Of course, I have a great responsibility
-towards these people. If they were labourers on an estate, or miners in
-a coal-pit, everybody would acknowledge this responsibility; but being
-only shopmen and shopwomen, or, poor souls, as they prefer to have it,
-assistants in a house of business, the difficulty is much increased. Do
-I have your attention, Earnshaw?”
-
-“I am listening,” said Edgar; “but you must excuse me if my attention
-seems to wander a little. Consider how short an acquaintance ours is,
-and that I am somewhat giddy with the strange turn my life has taken.
-Pure selfishness, of course; but one does rank more highly than is fit
-in one’s own thoughts.”
-
-“To be sure, it is all novel and strange,” said Mr. Tottenham, in a
-soothing and consolatory tone. “Never mind; you will soon get used to
-our ways. For my own part, I think a spinning mill is nothing to my
-shop. Several hundreds of decently dressed human creatures, some of the
-young women looking wonderfully like ladies, I can tell you, is a very
-bewildering sort of kingdom to deal with. The Queen rules in a vague
-sort of way compared to me. She has nothing to do with our private
-morals or manners; so long as we don’t rob or steal, she leaves us to
-our own guidance. But, in my dominions, there is all the minuteness of
-despotism. My subjects live in my house, eat my bread, and have to be
-regulated by my pleasure. I look after them in everything, their
-religious sentiments, their prudential arrangements, their amusements.
-You don’t listen to me, Earnshaw.”
-
-“Oh, yes, I do. But if Phil’s lessons and Lady Mary’s lectures come in
-to disturb my attention, you won’t mind just at first? This is the same
-road we drove down on Saturday. There is the same woman standing at the
-same door.”
-
-“And here are the same horses, and the same man with the same sentiments
-driving you.”
-
-“Thanks; you are very kind,” said Edgar, gratefully; “but my head goes
-round notwithstanding. I suppose so many ups and downs put one off one’s
-balance. I promise you to wake up when we come to the field of battle.”
-
-“You mean the shop,” said Mr. Tottenham; “don’t be afraid of naming it.
-I am rather excited, to tell the truth, about the effect it may have
-upon you. I am like a showman, with something quite original and out of
-the common to show.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVII.
-
-The Shop.
-
-
-Tottenham’s is situated in one of the great thoroughfares which lead out
-of the heart of London, towards one of its huge suburbs. It consists of
-an immense square pile of building, facing to four different streets,
-with frontage of plate-glass windows, and masses of costly shawls and
-silks appearing through. To many people, but these were mostly ladies,
-Tottenham’s was a kind of fairyland. It represented everything, from
-substantial domestic linen to fairy webs of lace, which money could buy.
-In the latter particular, it is true, Tottenham’s was limited; it
-possessed only the productions of modern fingers, the filmy fabrics of
-Flanders and France; but its silks, its velvets, its magnificences of
-shawl and drapery, its untold wealth in the homelier shape of linen and
-cambric, were unsurpassed anywhere, and the fame of them had spread
-throughout London, nay, throughout England. The name of this great
-establishment caused a flutter of feeling through all the Home Counties,
-and up even to the Northern borders. People sent their orders to
-Tottenham’s from every direction of the compass. The mass of its clients
-were, perhaps, not highly fashionable, though even the _crême de la
-crême_ sometimes made a raid into the vast place, which was reported
-cheap, and where fashionable mothers were apt to assure each other that
-people, who knew what was what, might often pick up very nice things
-indeed at half the price which Élise would ask, not to speak of Worth.
-Persons who know what Worth has last invented, and how Élise works, have
-an immense advantage in this way over their humble neighbours. But the
-humble neighbours themselves were very good customers, and bought more
-largely, if with less discrimination. And the middle class, like one
-man, or rather like one woman, patronized Tottenham’s. It bought its
-gowns there, and its carpets and its thread and needles, everything that
-is wanted, in a house. It provided its daughters’ _trousseaux_, and
-furnished its sons’ houses out of this universal emporium; not the
-chairs and tables, it is true, but everything else. The arrangements of
-the interior were so vast and bewildering as to drive a stranger wild,
-though the _habitués_ glided about from counter to counter with smiling
-readiness. There were as many departments as in the Home Office, but
-everybody looked after his own department, which is not generally the
-case in the Imperial shop; and the hum of voices, the gliding about of
-many feet, the rustle of many garments, the vague sound and sentiment of
-a multitude pervaded the alleys of counters, the crowded passages
-between, where group was jostled by group, and not an inch of space left
-unoccupied.
-
-Edgar’s entrance into this curious unexplored world, which he had been
-brought here expressly to “take an interest” in, was made through a
-private way, through the counting-house, where many clerks sat at their
-desks, and where all was quiet and still as in a well-ordered merchant’s
-office. Mr. Tottenham had a large room, furnished with the
-morocco-covered chairs and writing-tables consecrated to such places,
-but with more luxury than usual; with Turkey carpets on the floor, and
-rich crimson curtains framing the great window, which looked into a
-small court-yard surrounded with blank walls. Here Mr. Tottenham paused
-to look over a bundle of business letters, and to hear some reports that
-were brought to him by the heads of departments. These were not entirely
-about business. Though the communications were made in a low voice,
-Edgar could not help hearing that Mr. So-and-So was in question here,
-and Miss Somebody there.
-
-“If something is not done, I don’t think the other young ladies will
-stand it, Sir,” said a grave elderly gentleman, whom Edgar, eyeing him
-curiously, felt that he would have taken at least for a Member of
-Parliament.
-
-“I will look into it, Robinson. You may make your mind quite easy. I
-will certainly look into it,” said Mr. Tottenham, with such a look as
-the Chancellor of the Exchequer may put on when he anticipates a failure
-in the revenue.
-
-“You see, Sir,” added Mr. Robinson, “a piece of scandal about any of the
-young ladies is bad enough; but when it comes to be the head of a
-department, or at least, one of the heads--and you remember it was all
-our opinions that Miss Lockwood was just the fit person for the place.
-I had a little difficulty myself on the point, for Miss Innes had been
-longer in the establishment; but as for being ladylike-looking, and a
-good figure, and a good manner, there could, of course, be no
-comparison.”
-
-“I will look into it, I will look into it,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-hurriedly.
-
-The head of a State has to bear many worries, in small things as well as
-in great; and the head of Tottenham’s was less a constitutional than a
-despotic ruler. Limited Monarchies do not answer, it must be allowed, on
-a small scale. The respectable Mr. Robinson withdrew to one side, while
-other heads of departments approached the Sultan of the Shop. Edgar
-looked on with some amusement and a good deal of interest. Mr. Tottenham
-was no longer speculative and viewy. He went into all the business
-details with a precision which surprised his companion, and talked of
-the rise in silks, and the vicissitudes in shirtings, with very much
-more apparent perception of the seriousness of the matter than he had
-ever evidenced in the other Tottenham’s, the wealthy house in which the
-shopkeeper lived as princes live. Edgar would have retired when these
-business discussions, or rather reports and audiences, began; but Mr.
-Tottenham restrained him with a quick look and gesture, motioning him to
-a seat close to his own.
-
-“I want you to see what I have to do,” he said in a rapid interjection
-between one conference and another.
-
-The last of all was a young man, studiously elegant in appearance, and
-in reality, as Edgar found out afterwards, the fine gentleman of the
-establishment, who had charge of the recreations of “the assistants,” or
-rather the _employés_, which was the word Mr. Watson preferred. Mr.
-Tottenham’s face lighted up when this functionary approached him with a
-piece of paper, written in irregular lines, like a programme, in his
-hand--and it was the programme of the next evening entertainment, to be
-given in the shop and for the shop. Mr. Watson used no such vulgar
-phraseology.
-
-“Perhaps, Sir, you will kindly look over this, and favour us with any
-hint you may think necessary?” he said. “Music is always popular, and as
-we have at present a good deal of vocal talent among us, I thought it
-best to utilize it. The part-songs please the young ladies, Sir. It is
-the only portion of the entertainment in which they can take any active
-share.”
-
-“Then by all means let us please the ladies,” said Mr. Tottenham. “Look,
-Earnshaw; this is an entertainment which we have once a month. Ah,
-Watson, you are down, I see, for a solo on your instrument?”
-
-“I find it popular, Sir,” said Mr. Watson, with a smirk. “The taste for
-music is spreading. The young ladies, Sir, are anxious to know whether,
-as you once were good enough to promise, her Ladyship is likely this
-time to do us the honour--”
-
-“Oh, yes, Watson; you may consider that settled; my wife is coming,”
-said Mr. Tottenham. “Trial Scene in Pickwick? Yes; very well, very
-well. Duet, Mr. Watson and Miss Lockwood. Ah! I have been just hearing
-something about Miss Lockwood--”
-
-“She has enemies, Sir,” said Mr. Watson, flushing all over. He was a
-fair young man, and the colour showed at once in his somewhat pallid
-complexion. “In an establishment like this, Sir--a little world--where
-there are so many _employés_, of course, she has her enemies.”
-
-“That may be,” said Mr. Tottenham, musing. “I have not inquired into it
-yet; but in the meantime, if there is any latent scandal, wouldn’t it be
-better that she took no public part?”
-
-“Oh, of course, Sir!” cried Watson, bundling up his papers; “if she is
-to be condemned unheard--”
-
-Robinson, the respectable Member of Parliament, approached anxiously at
-this.
-
-“I assure you, Mr. Tottenham,” he cried, with a warmth of sincerity
-which appeared to come from the bottom of his heart, “I don’t want to
-judge Miss Lockwood, or any other young lady in the establishment; but
-when things come to my ears, I can’t but take notice of them. The other
-young ladies have a right to be considered.”
-
-“It is jealousy, Sir; nothing but jealousy!” cried Watson; “because
-she’s a deal more attractive than any of ’em, and gets more attention--”
-
-“Softly, softly,” said Mr. Tottenham. “This grows serious. I don’t think
-I am apt to be moved by jealousy of Miss Lockwood, eh, Watson? You may
-go now, and if you know anything about the subject, I’ll see you
-afterwards.”
-
-“I know as she’s the best saleswoman, and the most ladylike-looking
-young lady in the house,” cried Watson; and then he perceived his slip
-of grammar, and blushed hotter than ever; for he was an ambitious young
-man, and had been instructed up to the point of knowing that his native
-English stood in need of improvement, and that bad grammar was against
-his rising in life.
-
-“That will do then; you can go,” said Mr. Tottenham. “Opinion is not
-evidence. Come, Robinson, if it’s making a feud in the house, I had
-better, I suppose, go into it at once.”
-
-“And I, perhaps, had better withdraw too,” said Edgar, whom this strange
-and sudden revelation of human tumults going on in the great house of
-business had interested in spite of himself.
-
-“Stay; you are impartial, and have an unbiassed judgment,” said Mr.
-Tottenham. “Now, Robinson, let us hear what you have got to say.”
-
-Robinson approached with a world of care upon his face. Edgar having
-allowed his fancy to be taken possession of by the Member-of-Parliament
-theory, could not help the notion that this good worried man had risen
-to call for a Committee upon some subject involving peril to the nation,
-some mysterious eruption of Jesuits or Internationalists, or Foreign
-Office squabble. He was only the head of the shawl and cloak department
-in Tottenham’s; but it is quite marvellous how much humanity resembles
-itself, though the circumstances were so unlike.
-
-Mr. Robinson had not much more than begun his story. He was in the
-preamble, discoursing, as his prototype in the House of Commons would
-have done, upon the general danger to society which was involved in
-carelessness and negligence of one such matter as that he was about to
-bring before the House--when a tap was heard at the door, a little sharp
-tap, half defiant, half coquettish, sounding as if the applicant, while
-impatient for admittance, might turn away capriciously, when the door
-was opened. Both the judge and the prosecutor evidently divined at once
-who it was.
-
-“Come in,” said Mr. Tottenham; “Come in!” for the summons was not
-immediately obeyed.
-
-Then there entered a--person, to use the safe yet not very respectful
-word which Mr. J. S. Mill rescued from the hands of flunkeys and
-policemen--a female figure, to speak more romantically, clad in elegant
-black silken robes, very well made, with dark hair elaborately dressed;
-tall, slight, graceful, one of those beings to be met with everywhere in
-the inner recesses of great shops like Tottenham’s, bearing all the
-outward aspect of ladies, moving about all day long upon rich carpets,
-in a warm luxurious atmosphere, “trying on” one beautiful garment after
-another, and surveying themselves in great mirrors as they pass and
-repass. The best of feminine society ebbs and flows around these
-soft-voiced and elegant creatures--duchesses, princesses, who look like
-washerwomen beside them, and young girls often not more pretty or
-graceful. They are the Helots of the female fashionable world, and, at
-the same time, to some degree, its despots; for does not many a dumpy
-woman appear ridiculous in the elegant garb which was proved before her
-eyes so beautiful and becoming upon the slim straight form of the “young
-person” who exhibited and sold if?
-
-Miss Lockwood entered, with her head well up, in one of the attitudes
-which are considered most elegant in those pretty coloured pictures of
-the “Modes,” which, to her class of young ladies, are as the Louvre and
-the National Gallery thrown into one. She was no longer, except from a
-professional point of view, to be considered absolutely as a “young
-lady.” Her face, which was a handsome face, was slightly worn, and her
-age must have been a year or two over thirty; but, as her accuser
-admitted, and as her defender asserted, a more “ladylike-looking”
-person, or a better figure for showing off shawl or mantle had never
-been seen in Tottenham’s or any other house of business. This was her
-great quality. She came in with a little sweep and rustle of her long
-black silken train; her dress, like her figure, was her stock-in-trade.
-
-“Oh, I beg your pardon,” she said in an abrupt yet airy tone, angry yet
-sensible withal of those personal advantages which made it something of
-a joke that anyone should presume to find fault with her. “I hear my
-character is being taken away behind my back, and I have come, please,
-to defend myself.”
-
-Edgar looked at this kind of being, which was new to him, with a mixture
-of feelings. She had the dress and appearance of a lady, and she was
-unquestionably a woman, though she would have scorned so common a name.
-He rose from his seat when she came in with the intention of getting a
-chair for her, as he would have done to any other lady, but was
-deterred, he could scarcely tell why, by her own air and that of the
-other two men who looked at her without budging.
-
-“Sit down, sit down,” said Mr. Tottenham hastily, aside to him, “of
-course I know what you mean, but that sort of thing does not do. It
-makes them uncomfortable; sit down; she will give us trouble enough, you
-will see.”
-
-Edgar, however, could not go so far as to obey. He kept standing, and he
-saw the new-comer look at him, and look again with a lighting up of her
-face as though she recognised him. So far as he was aware he had never
-seen her before in his life.
-
-“Miss Lockwood, I do not think this is how you should speak,” said her
-employer, “you know whether I am in the habit of permitting anybody’s
-character to be taken away, without giving the accused full opportunity
-to defend themselves.”
-
-“Oh yes, Sir, to defend themselves,” she said with a toss of her head,
-“after all the harm’s done, and things has been said that can’t be
-unsaid. You know as well as I do, Sir, it’s all up with a young lady
-the moment things has been spoke of publicly against her.”
-
-“I hope not so bad as that,” said Mr. Tottenham mildly. He was a little
-afraid of the young lady, and so was the worthy parliamentary Robinson,
-who had withdrawn a step behind backs, when interrupted in his speech.
-
-“Well, Mr. Tottenham! and what does it mean, Sir, when you put a stop to
-my duet, me and Mr. Watson’s duet, and say it’s best I shouldn’t take
-part publicly? Isn’t that judging me, Sir, before ever hearing me--and
-taking all the stories as is told against me for true?”
-
-“I know none of the stories yet,” said Mr. Tottenham, “pray compose
-yourself. Mr. Robinson was going to explain to me; but as you are here,
-if it will at all save your feelings, I am quite ready to hear your
-story first.”
-
-“Mr. Tottenham, Sir!” said Mr. Robinson, roused to speech.
-
-“Well! you can have no motive, and I can have no motive, but to come to
-the truth. Take a seat, Miss Lockwood, I will not keep you standing; and
-begin--
-
-“Begin what?” the young woman faltered. “Oh, I am not going to be the
-one to begin,” she said saucily, “nobody’s obliged to criminate himself.
-And how can I tell what my enemies are saying against me? They must
-speak first.”
-
-“Then, Robinson, do you begin,” said the master; but it was easier in
-this case to command than to obey. Robinson shifted from one foot to the
-other, he cleared his throat, he rubbed his hands. “I don’t know that I
-can, before her,” he said hoarsely, “I have daughters of my own.”
-
-“I knew,” said the culprit in triumphant scorn, “that you daren’t make
-up any of your stories before my face!”
-
-Robinson restrained himself with an effort. He was a good man, though
-the fuss of the incipient scandal was not disagreeable to him.
-“It’s--it’s about what is past, Sir,” he said hurriedly, “there is no
-reflection on Miss Lockwood’s conduct now. I’d rather not bring it all
-up here, not before strangers.”
-
-“You may speak before as many strangers as you please, I sha’n’t mind,”
-said the accused, giving Edgar a glance which bewildered him, not so
-much for the recognition which was in it, as for a certain confidence
-and support which his appearance seemed to give her. Mr. Tottenham drew
-him aside for a moment, whispering in his ear.
-
-“She seems to know you, Earnshaw?”
-
-“Yes; but I don’t know how. I never saw her before.”
-
-“I wonder--perhaps, if I were to take Robinson away and hear his
-story--while you might hear what she has to say?”
-
-“I? But indeed I don’t know her, I assure you I have never seen her
-before,” said Edgar in dismay.
-
-“Never mind, she knows you. She is just the sort of person to prefer to
-confide in one whom she does not see every day. I’ll leave you with
-her, Earnshaw. Perhaps it will be best if you step this way, Robinson;
-I shall hear what you have to say here.”
-
-Robinson followed his superior promptly into a smaller room. Edgar was
-left with the culprit; and it is scarcely possible to realize a less
-comfortable position. What was he to do with her? He was not acquainted
-either with her or her class; he did not know how to address her. She
-looked like a lady, but yet was not a lady, and for the present moment
-she was on her trial. Was he to laugh, as he felt inclined to do, at the
-shabby trick his friend had played him, or was he to proceed gravely
-with his mission? Miss Lockwood solved this question for herself.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVIII.
-
-Two Culprits on their Trial.
-
-
-“You’re surprised, Sir, that a stranger should be so ready to speak up
-to you,” said Miss Lockwood, “you don’t know me from Adam? but I know
-you. You are the gentleman that was in the great Arden case, the
-gentleman as gave up. You wouldn’t think it, but I am mixed up with the
-Ardens too; and as soon as I set eyes upon you, I said to myself, ‘Here
-is one that will help me to my rights.’”
-
-“Have you, too, rights that involve the Ardens?” said Edgar, startled
-yet half amused. “Alas, I fear I cannot help you. If you know my story
-you must know I am no Arden, and have no influence with the family one
-way or another.”
-
-“You mightn’t have influence, Sir, but you might hate ’em--as I do,” she
-said, with a gleam in her eyes which changed the character of her
-otherwise commonplace though handsome countenance.
-
-“Hate them!” cried Edgar, still more startled. “Why, this is a tragical
-way of approaching the subject. What have the Ardens done to you that
-you should hate them?”
-
-“That’s my story,” said Miss Lockwood, meeting him full with a steadfast
-look in her eyes, which bewildered Edgar still more. She had taken a
-seat, and the two sat looking at each other across Mr. Tottenham’s
-writing table. Edgar had not even heard the name of Arden for years
-past, and nothing was further from his thoughts on entering this most
-commonplace of scenes, the great shop, than to be thrown back into his
-own past life, by the touch of one of the young ladies in the shawl and
-mantle department. His curiosity was awakened, but not in any high
-degree, for it was absurd to suppose that a shopwoman in Tottenham’s
-could have any power to affect the Ardens one way or another. He felt
-that this must be a tempest in a teacup, some trifling supposed
-injustice, something, perhaps, about a cottage on the estate, or the
-rancour of a dismissed servant; for he had heard vaguely that there had
-been considerable changes.
-
-“I am afraid I cannot sympathize with you in hating the Ardens,” he
-said; “if you know so much about me, you must know that I was brought up
-to regard Mrs. Arden as my sister, which I still do, notwithstanding the
-change of circumstances; and no one connected with her can be to me an
-object of hate.”
-
-“_Mrs._ Arden, indeed!” said Miss Lockwood with contemptuous emphasis,
-tossing her handsome head.
-
-“Yes. What has Mrs. Arden done to you?” said Edgar, half angry, half
-amused with what seemed to him the impotent spitefulness; the absurdity
-of the woman’s scorn struck him with ludicrous effect; and yet a certain
-uneasiness was in the puzzle. Clare Arden had never possessed that
-natural instinctive courtesy which makes dependents friends. Probably
-she had wounded the _amour propre_ of the shopwoman; but then no doubt
-shopwomen have to make up their minds to such wounds, and Mrs. Arden was
-much too well bred and much too proud to have gone out of her way to
-annoy a young lady at Tottenham’s--any offence given or taken must have
-been a mere inadvertence, whatever it was.
-
-“Done to me? Oh, she haven’t done nothing to me, not meaningly, poor
-creature,” said Miss Lockwood. “Poor thing! it’s me that has that in my
-power, not her.”
-
-“I wish you would tell me,” said Edgar seriously, leaning across the
-table towards her with deepened interest and a certain alarm, “I entreat
-you to tell me what you mean. You are right in thinking that no subject
-could be more interesting to me.”
-
-“Ah! but it ain’t, perhaps, the kind of interest I expected,” said Miss
-Lockwood with coquettish familiarity, pushing back her chair. She
-belonged to the class of women who delight to make any conversation,
-however trivial or however important, bear the air of a flirtation. She
-was quite ready to play with her present companion, to excite and
-tantalize his curiosity, to laugh at him, and delude him, if fortune
-favoured her. But a chance altogether unforeseen interrupted this not
-unpleasant operation, and threw Miss Lockwood and her mystery into, the
-shade. When the conversation had advanced thus far, a new personage
-suddenly appeared on the scene. With a little preliminary knock, but
-without waiting for any invitation, a lady opened the door, the sight of
-whom drove even Clare Arden out of Edgar’s mind. She was no longer
-young, and her days of possible beauty were over. At sight of her Edgar
-rose to his feet, with a sudden cry.
-
-For a moment the new-comer stood still at the door, looking at the
-unexpected scene. Her face was care-worn, and yet it was kind, revealing
-one of those mixtures of two beings which are to be seen so often in
-society--the kind, genial, gentle woman made by nature, with the
-conventional great lady, formed for her position, and earnestly striving
-as her highest duty to shape herself into the narrowness and worldliness
-which it demanded. This curious development of mingled good and evil has
-not, perhaps, had so much notice as it deserves from the observer. We
-are all acquainted with characters in which a little germ of goodness
-strives against natural dispositions which are not amiable; but the
-other compound is not less true, if perhaps more rare. Lady Augusta
-Thornleigh, who was Lady Mary Tottenham’s sister, was born one of the
-kindest souls that ever drew breath. She had it in her even to be
-“viewy” as Lady Mary was, or to be sentimentally yielding and eager for
-everybody’s happiness. But all her canons of duty bound her to regard
-these dispositions as weakness, almost as guilt, and represented
-worldliness to her as the highest of virtues. She sighed after this as
-the others sigh after the higher heights of self-denial. Her searchings
-of heart were all directed (unconsciously) to make the worse appear the
-better cause; she tried to be worldly, believing that was right, as
-other people try to be unworldly. But I do wrong to keep Lady Augusta
-standing at the door of Mr. Tottenham’s room, while I describe her
-characteristics to the reader. She came in, calmly unexpectant of any
-sight but that of her brother-in-law; then starting to see two people,
-man and woman, seated on either side of the table with every appearance
-of being engaged in interesting conversation, made a step back again,
-bewildered.
-
-“I beg your pardon, I thought Mr. Tottenham was here,” she said,
-dropping her veil, which she had raised on entering. Miss Lockwood
-sprang up from her chair which she pushed back with an appearance of
-flurry and excitement, which was either real or very well counterfeited;
-while Edgar, deeply vexed, he could scarcely have told why, to be found
-thus, rose too, and approached his old friend. He would have liked to
-put himself at her feet, to kiss her hand, to throw himself upon her old
-kindness, if not like a son with a mother, at least like a loyal servant
-of one of those queens of nature whom generous men love to serve like
-sons. But he dared not do this--he dared not exceed the bounds of
-conventional acquaintance. He went forward eagerly but timidly, holding
-out his hands. I cannot find words to say how bewildered Lady Augusta
-was by the sight of Edgar, or with what consternation she recognised
-him. Whatever the motive had been which had drawn to him the attention
-of the Tottenhams, Lady Augusta Thornleigh was altogether ignorant of
-it. She had no expectation of seeing him, no idea that he could cross
-her path again. The profound surprise, the rush of kindly feeling which
-the first sight of him called forth, the thrill of terror and sense of
-danger which accompanied it, made her tremble with sudden agitation.
-Good heavens! what was she to do? She could not decline to recognise
-him; her heart indeed yearned to him, the subject of so much misfortune;
-but all the new complications that his presence would produce, rose up
-before her as he approached and made her heart sick. Oh, if he would
-only take the hint given in her hesitating look, and the veil which she
-had dropped over her face! But Edgar was fond of his old friend. She was
-the sister of his hostess, and he had felt ever since he went to
-Tottenham’s that one day or other he must meet her. He tried even at
-that moment to forget that she was anything beyond an old friend and
-Lady Mary’s sister; he tried to put the thought out of his mind that she
-was the mother of Gussy, his only love; he tried to forget the former
-relations between them. He had not seen her since the day when, leaving
-his former home, a nameless being, without either future or past to
-console him, he had been touched to the heart by her hurried farewell.
-He was then in all the excitement of a great sacrifice; he was a hero,
-admired and pitied everywhere; he had been almost her son, and she had
-called him Edgar, and wept over him. What a difference! he was a
-stranger now, in a totally different sphere, fallen out of knowledge,
-out of sympathy, no longer a hero or representing any exciting break in
-the ordinary level of life; but a common man probably desirous of asking
-some favour, and one for whom all his former friends must have the
-troublesome sensation of feeling something ought to be done for--I do
-not know if this occurred to Edgar’s mind, who was little apt to make
-such claims, but it did occur to Lady Augusta.
-
-“Is it you?--Mr. ----?” she said faltering. She was not even sure of his
-new name.
-
-“Earnshaw,” he said; “Edgar Earnshaw; you recollect me even after all
-these years?”
-
-“Oh, surely. Of course I cannot but recollect you,” she said; “but I am
-taken by surprise. I did not know you were in England. I never could
-have expected to find you here.”
-
-“No,” said Edgar, chilled by her tone, and letting the hand drop which
-she had given him, he felt, with hesitation. “It seems to myself the
-last place in the world where I could be; but Mr. Tottenham is so kind
-as to wish--”
-
-What was Mr. Tottenham so kind as to wish? I cannot describe Lady
-Augusta’s perplexity. Did it mean that Edgar had been so far reduced as
-to require employment in the shop? Had he come to that--he who was all
-but engaged to Gussy once? The idea gave her an indescribable shock; but
-then, how foolish of Mr. Tottenham, knowing all he did of Gussy and her
-obstinacy, and how she had all but broken her parents’ hearts by
-refusing the best of offers, and threatened to go into a sisterhood,
-and came constantly to this very place to visit and influence the “young
-ladies” of the establishment! Lady Augusta grew red and grew pale in the
-agitation of her feelings; but what could she say? She could not ask him
-point-blank if this were so; she could not, after all these years, throw
-herself once more upon his chivalry, as she had done before, and implore
-him to keep out of her daughter’s way. The only way of outlet she found
-for her excitement and confusion was to look severely at Miss Lockwood,
-who stood with her hands folded, and an ingratiating smile on her face,
-stooping slightly forward, as who should say, What can I have the
-pleasure of showing your ladyship?
-
-Lady Augusta gave this “person” a withering glance. She was indignant
-with her for appearing to be on intimate terms with this man, whom, had
-Lady Augusta been wise, she would have gladly married off at once to
-anybody, so that he might be got out of her child’s way. But, being a
-very natural woman, with a great many tender prejudices and motherly
-feelings, she was a little haughty and offended that, having known
-Gussy, he should decline to such a level as Miss Lockwood. Gussy was not
-for him, and his very existence was a danger for her; but still, that he
-should be inconstant to Gussy, was to her mother a wrong and offence.
-
-“I fear,” she said, in her stateliest tone, “that I am interrupting
-you--that you were particularly engaged.”
-
-“Oh no, your Ladyship, nothing but what can wait,” murmured Miss
-Lockwood, gliding off with a curtsey, and adding a sidelong half nod of
-leave-taking to Edgar, which made him hot with anger, yet was too absurd
-in its impertinence to be resented. Lady Augusta drew herself up more
-and more.
-
-“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have interrupted a--conversation--an
-interview. I expected to find my brother-in-law here.”
-
-“Indeed, you have interrupted nothing,” said Edgar. “Mr. Tottenham, I
-don’t know why, left me here with this--lady, while he went to make some
-inquiries about her; he will return directly. She had offered to explain
-her case, of which I knew nothing, to me,” he continued, with an
-embarrassed laugh, feeling himself grow red against his will. What did
-it matter to Lady Augusta whom he might converse with? But,
-notwithstanding, her manner was as that of a woman offended, and forming
-an unfavourable judgment, and Edgar was affected by this unspoken
-judgment in spite of himself.
-
-Then a pause ensued. Miss Lockwood had glided out of the room with her
-long train rustling, but no other sound, and Lady Augusta, like other
-less exalted persons, did not know what to say to carry on this curious
-conversation. She was not sufficiently in friendship with Edgar to say
-anything further to him on this subject, either as warning or reproving,
-and there was an awkward pause. He would have liked to put a hundred
-questions, but did not know how to begin.
-
-“I hope all are well,” he said at last, with some timidity.
-
-“Oh, quite well. There have been various changes in the family, as no
-doubt you have heard; and more are in prospect,” Lady Augusta said
-pointedly: “That is the worst of grown-up sons and daughters. After
-twenty, their father and mother have very little enjoyment of them. I
-was not aware you knew my brother-in-law.”
-
-This she said with something of a jerk, having forestalled all possible
-inquiry on Edgar’s side, as she thought.
-
-“I only met him a few days ago,” said Edgar. “Perhaps I had better tell
-you at once my position in respect to him. He has offered me the post of
-tutor to his boy; and having nothing to do for the moment, poor as my
-qualifications are, I have accepted it. I need not tell you, who know
-them, how kind to me both he and Lady Mary have been.”
-
-“Tutor to--his boy!” Lady Augusta repeated the words, thunderstruck.
-This was something more terrible, more alarming than she had conceived
-possible. “Tutor to Phil?” She did not seem able to do more than repeat
-the words.
-
-“You may well be surprised,” said Edgar, trying to laugh; “no one could
-be more so than myself; but as they were so good as to overlook my
-deficiencies, what could I say?”
-
-“I was not thinking of your deficiencies. Oh! Mr. Earnshaw, oh! Edgar,
-could not your old friends have helped you to something better than
-this?”
-
-Poor Lady Augusta! she was unfeignedly grieved and sorry to think of him
-as a dependent. And at the same time she was struck with terror
-unbounded to think that he would now be always in her way, in Gussy’s
-way, never to be got rid of. She was not fond of exercising what
-influence she possessed lavishly, for she had many sons and nephews; but
-she began to reflect immediately what she could do to promote Edgar’s
-interests. A tutor, and in Tottenham’s, for ever; or in Berkeley Square,
-always at hand, never to be got rid of--
-
-“Dear me!” she cried, “tell me whom I should speak to. We must not let
-you vegetate in such a post as this.”
-
-I don’t think Edgar had much difficulty in divining what she meant, or
-which branch of the subject had most effect on her mind. And, perhaps,
-he was slightly irritated by his insight, though this effect very soon
-went off.
-
-“Thank you,” he said, “for the moment I am well enough pleased with my
-position. Everybody is very kind to me; and, after so long abstinence, a
-little pleasant society is an agreeable change.”
-
-He was sorry after he had said this, for he liked Lady Augusta. Her
-countenance fell. She gave an alarmed glance at the door, where there
-was a passing sound as of some one approaching.
-
-“I should not have thought you would have liked it,” she said, with a
-little sigh. “Do you know where Mr. Tottenham is? I want to speak to
-him just for a moment. Thanks so much. I will wait here till he comes.”
-
-“I shall attend to it--you may be sure I will attend to it,” said Mr.
-Tottenham’s voice, making itself audible before he himself appeared.
-“You were quite right, Robinson, quite right, and you may be sure I will
-pay every attention. Ah, Lady Augusta, you here. What! and you have
-found out our friend? I meant that for a little surprise to you. Yes,
-here he is, and I hope to hold him fast, at least till something very
-much better turns up--a thing which will happen, I am afraid, quite too
-soon for us.”
-
-“Let us hope so, for Mr. Earnshaw’s sake,” said Lady Augusta, with a
-little solemnity. How different her tone was from that of her
-brother-in-law! Perhaps, on the whole, her personal liking for Edgar was
-stronger than his was; but there were so many things mingled with it
-which made this liking impossible. Her very person seemed to stiffen as
-she spoke, and she made a little pause, as Lord Newmarch had done before
-pronouncing his name. “Mr.--Earnshaw.” To be sure it must be difficult,
-having known him by one name to speak to him by another; but somehow
-this little pause seemed to Edgar another painful reminder that he was
-not as he had once been.
-
-And then there ensued another embarrassed pause. Edgar could not say
-anything, for his feelings at the moment were somewhat bitter; and as
-for good Mr. Tottenham, he was perplexed and perturbed, not perceiving
-any reason why his sister-in-law should put on so solemn an expression.
-He had expected nothing less than to please her and all her family, by
-his kindness to the man whom he persisted in considering their friend.
-He was profoundly perplexed by this stiffness and air of solemnity. Had
-there been some quarrel, of which he knew nothing, between them? He was
-dumb in his bewilderment, and could not think of anything to say.
-
-“Did Miss Lockwood tell you much? or was she frightened?” he said. “It
-is a troublesome story, and I wish people would not be so horribly
-officious in reporting everything. Did she open her heart at all to
-you?”
-
-Mr. Tottenham looked at him with calm matter-of-fact seriousness, and
-Lady Augusta looked at him with suspicious disapproval. To the woman of
-the world the question seemed absurd, to the man of ideas it was as
-simple as daylight; between them they embarrassed the altogether
-innocent third party, who had a clue to both their thoughts.
-
-“She told me nothing,” said Edgar, “as indeed how should she, never
-having spoken to me before to-day? She had seen me, she says, three
-years ago, at the time of the arrangement about Arden, and she chose to
-talk to me of that, heaven knows why.”
-
-“Was that what you were talking about when I came in?” said Lady
-Augusta, with a cold ring of unbelief in her tone, a tone which
-irritated Edgar deeply in spite of himself.
-
-“It was what we were talking of,” he said, concisely; and then Mr.
-Tottenham felt sure there had been some previously existing quarrel of
-which he knew nothing, and that his attempt to give pleasure had been so
-far a failure. This momentarily discouraged him--for to do harm, where
-you would fain have done good, is confusing to every well-intentioned
-soul.
-
-“Mary will be glad to hear something of your movements,” he said. “She
-has been anxious for some time past to know what you were going to do.”
-
-“I came to tell you,” said Lady Augusta. “We are in town for a few
-weeks, chiefly about business, for my little Mary has made up her mind
-to leave me; and as it has all been made up in a hurry, there will be a
-great deal to do.”
-
-“Made up her mind to leave you?”
-
-“Yes, don’t you understand? She is going to marry Lord Granton, the
-Marquis of Hautville’s son. Yes, you may congratulate me; it is very
-pleasant, and just such a match as one could have wished; and after
-Helena’s sad business,” said Lady Augusta, with a sigh, “we wanted
-something to console us a little.”
-
-“I think Helena’s was a very sensible marriage,” said Mr. Tottenham;
-“just the man for her; but I am glad your pride is going to have this
-salve all the same, and I daresay Mary will be delighted, for she is a
-dreadful little aristocrat, notwithstanding her own foolish marriage,
-and all she says.”
-
-“If every foolish marriage ended as well as Mary’s--” said Lady
-Augusta.
-
-“Ah! you mean if every _parvenu_ was rich?” said Mr. Tottenham; “but
-that, unfortunately, is past hoping for. So you have come to town for
-the trousseau? I hope your Ladyship means to patronise the shop.”
-
-“My dear Tom--” Lady Augusta began, her face clouding over.
-
-“Before your sister’s time, I too was ashamed of the shop,” he said, “if
-I am not now, it is Mary’s doing. And so her little godchild is to be a
-great lady! I am very glad for your sake, Augusta, and I hope the little
-thing will be happy. Does she know her own mind? I suppose Thornleigh is
-very much pleased.”
-
-“Delighted!” cried Lady Augusta, “as we all are; he is a charming
-fellow, and she is as happy as the day is long.”
-
-“Ah, we are all charming fellows, and everybody makes the best of us at
-that period of our lives,” said Mr. Tottenham; “all the same I am glad
-to hear everything is so pleasant. And Gussy? What does Gussy say?”
-
-“Mr. Tottenham!” Lady Augusta cried in an indignant whisper; and then
-she added, “tell Mary I shall come and tell her all about it. I must not
-detain you any longer from your business. Good-bye, Mr. Earnshaw.”
-
-“Earnshaw will see you to your carriage,” said Mr. Tottenham, “I am very
-busy--don’t think me careless; and I know,” he added in a lower tone,
-“you will like, when you are happy yourself, to say a kind word to an
-old friend.”
-
-Happy herself! does a woman ever inquire whether she is personally happy
-or not when she has come to Lady Augusta’s age, and has a large family
-to care for? She took the arm which Edgar could not but offer with an
-impatient sigh.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw does not require to be told that I wish him everything
-that is good,” she said, and allowed him to lead her out, wondering how
-she should manage to warn Beatrice, her youngest daughter, who had come
-with her, and who was looking at something in one of the many
-departments. The young Thornleighs were all fond of Edgar, and Lady
-Augusta dared not trust a young firebrand of nineteen to go and spread
-the news all over the family, without due warning, that he had appeared
-upon the scene again. Edgar’s short-lived anger had before this floated
-away, though his heart ached at the withdrawal from him of the
-friendship which had been sweet to his friendly soul. His heart melted
-more and more every step he walked by her side.
-
-“Lady Augusta,” he said at last hurriedly, “you were once as kind as an
-angel to me, when I wanted it much. Don’t be afraid of me; I shall never
-put myself in your way.”
-
-“Oh, Mr. Earnshaw!” she cried, struck by compunction; “I ought to ask
-your pardon, Edgar; I ought to know you better; don’t judge me harshly.
-If you only knew--”
-
-“I don’t ask to know anything,” he said, though his heart beat high, “my
-sphere henceforth is very different from yours; you need have no fear of
-me.”
-
-“God bless you, whatever is your sphere! you are good, and I am sure you
-will be happy!” she cried with tears in her eyes, giving him her hand as
-he put her into her carriage; but then she added, “will you send some
-one to call Beatrice, little Beatrice, who came with me? No, don’t go
-yourself, pray don’t go--I would not give you so much trouble for the
-world!”
-
-Edgar did not feel sure whether he was most inclined to burst into rude
-laughter, or to go aside to the nearest corner and dry his glistening
-eyes.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIX.
-
-Schemes and Speculations.
-
-
-Edgar went home in the evening, feeling a degree of agitation which he
-had scarcely given himself credit for being capable of. He had been on
-so low a level of feeling all these years, that he believed himself to
-have grown duller and less capable of emotion, though he could not
-explain to himself how it should be so. But now the stormwinds had begun
-to blow, and the tide to rise. The mere sight of Lady Augusta was enough
-to have brought back a crowd of sensations and recollections, and there
-had lately been so many other touches upon the past to heighten the
-effect of this broad gleam of light. Even the curious recognition of
-him, and the apparently foolish enmity against the Ardens, which the
-young lady at Tottenham’s had shown, had something to do with the
-ferment of contending feelings in which he found himself. Hate them! no,
-why should he hate them? But to be thus called back to the recollection
-of them, and of all that he had been, had a strangely disturbing
-influence upon his mind. In his aimless wanderings alone over Europe,
-and in his sudden plunge into a family life quite new to him in
-Scotland, he had believed himself utterly set free from all the
-traditions and associations of the former existence, which was indeed
-more like a chapter out of a romance than a real episode in life. Taking
-it at the most, it was nothing but an episode. After years of neglected
-youth, a brief breathless moment of power, independence, and a kind of
-greatness, and then a sharp disruption from them all, and plunge into
-obscurity again. Why should that short interval affect him more than all
-the long tracts of less highly coloured life, from which it stood out
-like a bit of brilliant embroidery on a sombre web? Edgar could not
-tell; he felt that it did so, but he could not answer to himself why.
-Mr. Tottenham talked all the way back about one thing and another, about
-Miss Lockwood, and the scandal which had suddenly shocked the
-establishment, about little Mary Thornleigh and her brilliant marriage,
-about the evening entertainment to be given in the shop, which was quite
-as important to him. Fortunately for Edgar, his companion was capable of
-monologue, and went on quite pleasantly during their drive without need
-of anything more than a judicious question or monosyllable of assent.
-
-“I’ll tell you one thing, Earnshaw,” he said, “in such undertakings as
-mine the great thing is never to be discouraged; never allow yourself
-to be discouraged; that is my maxim; though I am not always able
-to carry it out. I hope I never shall give in to say that because
-things go wrong under my management, or because one meets with
-disappointments--therefore things must always go wrong, and nothing
-good ever come of it. Of course, look at it from a serious point of
-view, concerts and penny readings, and so forth are of no importance.
-That is what Gussy always tells me. She thinks religion is the only
-thing; she would like to train my young ladies to find their chief
-pleasure in the chapel and the daily service, like her Sisters in their
-convent. I am not against Sisterhoods, Earnshaw; I should not like to
-see Gussy go into one, it is true--”
-
-“Is there any likelihood of that?” Edgar asked with a great start, which
-made the light waggon they were driving in, swerve.
-
-“Hallo! steady!” cried Mr. Tottenham, “likelihood of it? I don’t know.
-She wished it at one time. You see, Earnshaw, we don’t sufficiently
-understand, seeing how different they are, how much alike women are to
-ourselves. I suppose there comes a time in a girl’s life, as well as in
-a man’s, when she wants to be herself, and not merely her father’s
-daughter. You may say she should marry in that case; but supposing she
-doesn’t want to marry, or, put the case, can’t marry as she would wish?
-What can she do? I think myself they overdo the devotional part; but a
-Sisterhood means occupation, a kind of independence, a position of her
-own--and at the same time protection from all the folly we talk about
-strong-minded women.”
-
-“But does it mean all this?” said Edgar surprised, “that is not the
-ordinary view?”
-
-“My dear fellow, the ordinary view is all nonsense. I say it’s
-protection against idiotic talk. The last thing anyone thinks of is to
-bring forward the strong-minded abuse in respect to a Sisterhood. But
-look here; I know of one, where quite quietly, without any fuss, there’s
-the Sister Doctor in full practice, looking after as many children as
-would fill a good-sized village. She’s never laughed at and called Dr.
-Mary, M.D.; and there’s the Sister Head-Master, with no Governing Body
-to make her life miserable. They don’t put forward that view of the
-subject. Possibly, for human nature is very queer, they think only of
-the sacrifice, &c.; but I don’t wonder, for my part, that it’s a great
-temptation to a woman. Gussy Thornleigh is twenty-five, too old to be
-only her mother’s shadow; and if nothing else that she likes comes in
-her way--”
-
-Mr. Tottenham made a pause. Did he mean anything by that pause? Poor
-Edgar, who felt himself to be a sport to all the wild imaginations that
-can torture a man, sat silent, and felt the blood boiling in his veins
-and his heart leaping in his throat. It was as well that his companion
-stopped talking, for he could not have heard any voice but that of his
-own nerves and pulses all throbbing and thrilling. Heaven and earth!
-might it be possible that this should come about, while he, a man, able
-and willing to work, to slave, to turn head and hands to any occupation
-on the earth, should be hanging on helpless, unable to interfere? And
-yet he had but this moment told Gussy’s mother that she need not fear
-him! A strong impulse came upon him to spring down from the waggon and
-walk back to town and tell Lady Augusta to fear everything, that he
-would never rest nor let her rest till he won her daughter back to a
-more smiling life. Alas, of all follies what could be so foolish? he,
-the tutor, the dependent, without power to help either himself or her.
-The waggon rushed along the dark country road, making a little circle of
-light round its lamps, while the sound of the horses’ feet, and the roll
-of the wheels, enveloped them in a circle of sound, separating, as it
-were, this moving speck of light and motion from all the inanimate
-world. It would have been as easy to change that dark indifferent sphere
-suddenly into the wide and soft sympathy of a summer evening, as for
-Edgar, at this period of his life, to have attempted from this hopeless
-abstraction, in which he was carried along by others, to have interfered
-with another existence and turned its course aside. Not now--if ever,
-not yet--and, ah, when, if ever? It was a long time before he was able
-to speak at all, and his companion, who thus wittingly or unwittingly,
-threw such firebrands of thought into his disturbed mind was silent too,
-either respectful of Edgar’s feelings, or totally unconscious of them,
-he could not tell which.
-
-“May I ask,” he inquired, after a long pause, clearing his throat, which
-was parched and dry, “what was meant by ‘Helena’s sad business?’ What
-has become of that Miss Thornleigh?”
-
-“What has become of her is, that she’s married,” said Mr. Tottenham. “A
-very natural thing, though Helena, I believe, was a little ashamed of
-herself for giving into it. She married a man who has nothing but his
-brains to recommend him--no family to speak of, and no money, which,
-between ourselves, is a good deal worse. He is a professor, and a
-critic, and that sort of thing--too clever for me, but he suits her
-better than anyone I know. Helena is a totally different sort of person,
-sure to have her own way, whatever she takes into her head. Now Gussy,
-on the contrary----”
-
-“Mr. Tottenham,” said Edgar, hoarsely, “for God’s sake, don’t say any
-more.”
-
-“Ah!” said the other; and then he added, “I beg your pardon, I beg your
-pardon,” and flourished his whip in the air by way of a diversion. This
-manœuvre was so successful that the party had quite enough to think of
-to keep their seats, and their heads cool in case of an accident, as the
-spirited beasts plunged and dashed along the remaining bit of way. “That
-was as near a spill as I remember,” Mr. Tottenham said, as he threw the
-reins to the groom, when, after a tearing gallop up the avenue, the bays
-drew up at the door. He was flushed with the excitement and the
-struggle; and whether he had put Edgar to the torture in ignorance, or
-with any occult meaning, the sufferer could not discover. The momentary
-gleam of danger at the end had however done even Edgar good.
-
-Lady Mary met them at dinner, smiling and pretty, ready to lend an ear
-to anything interesting that might be said, but full of her own projects
-as when they left her. She had carried out her plans with the
-business-like despatch which women so often excel in, and Edgar, whose
-mind had been so remorselessly stirred and agitated all day, found
-himself quite established as an active coadjutor in her great scheme at
-night.
-
-“I have sent a little circular to the printers,” said Lady Mary, “saying
-when the German lectures would be resumed. You said Tuesday, I think,
-Mr. Earnshaw? That is the day that suits us best. Several people have
-been here this afternoon, and a great deal of interest has been excited
-about it; several, indeed, have sent me their names already. Oh, I told
-them you were working half against your will, without thinking very much
-of the greatness of the object; indeed, with just a little
-contempt--forgive me, Mr. Earnshaw--for this foolish fancy of women
-trying to improve their minds.”
-
-“No, only for the infinitely odd fancy of thinking I can help in the
-process,” said Edgar, dragging himself, as it were, within this new
-circle of fantastic light. His own miseries and excitements, heaven help
-him, were fantastic enough; but how real they looked by the side of this
-theoretical distress! or so at least the young man thought. I cannot
-tell with what half-laughing surprise, when his mind was at ease--but
-half-irritated dismay when he was troubled--he looked at this lady,
-infinitely more experienced in men and society and serious life than
-himself, who proposed to improve her mind by means of his German
-lessons. Was she laughing at him and the world? or was it a mere fashion
-of the time which she had taken up? or, most wonderful of all, was she
-sincere and believing in all this? He really thought she was, and so did
-she, not perceiving the curious misapprehension of things and words
-involved. It is common to say that a sense of humour saves us from
-exposing ourselves in many ways, yet it is amazing how little even our
-sense of humour helps us to see our own graver absurdities, though it
-may throw the most unclouded illumination upon those of other people.
-
-“That is a polite way of concealing your sentiments,” said Lady Mary;
-“but never mind, I am not angry. I am so sure of the rightness of the
-work, and of its eventual success, that I don’t mind being laughed at.
-To enlarge the sphere of ideas ever so little is an advantage worth
-fighting for.”
-
-“Very well,” said Edgar, “I am proud to be thought capable of enlarging
-somebody’s sphere. What do lectures on German mean? Before I begin you
-must tell me what I have to do.”
-
-“You must teach them the language, Mr. Earnshaw.”
-
-“Yes, but where shall we begin? with the alphabet? Must I have a
-gigantic black board to write the letters on?”
-
-“Oh, not so rudimentary as that; most of the ladies, in fact, know a
-little German,” said Lady Mary. “I do myself, just enough to talk.”
-
-“Enough to talk! I don’t know any more of English, my native tongue,”
-said Edgar, “than just enough to talk.”
-
-“Don’t laugh at me, Mr. Earnshaw. I know nothing of the grammar, for
-instance. We are never taught grammar. We get a kind of knowledge of a
-language, just to use it, like a tool; but what is the principle of the
-tool, or how it is put together, or in what way it is related to other
-tools of the same description, I know no more than Adam did.”
-
-“She knows a great deal more than I do,” said Mr. Tottenham, admiringly.
-“I never could use that sort of tool, as you call it, in my life. A
-wonderfully convenient thing though when you can do it. I never was much
-of a hand at languages; you should learn all that when you are quite
-young, in the nursery, when it’s no trouble--not leave it till you have
-to struggle with verbs, and all that sort of thing; not to say that you
-never can learn a foreign language by book.”
-
-Mr. Tottenham uttered these sentiments in a comfortable leisurely,
-dressing-gown and slippers sort of way. He did not give in to these
-indulgences in reality, but when he came upstairs to the drawing-room,
-and stretched himself in his great chair by the fire, and felt the
-luxurious warmth steal through him, after the chill of the drive and the
-excitement of its conclusion, he felt that inward sense of ease and
-comfort which nerves a man to utter daring maxims and lay down the law
-from a genial height of good-humour and content.
-
-“Tom!” cried Lady Mary, with impatience; and then she laughed, and
-added, “barbarian! don’t throw down all my arguments in your sleepy way.
-If there is anything of what you call chivalry left in the world, you
-men, who are really educated and whom people have taken pains with,
-ought to do your best to help us who are not educated at all.”
-
-“O! that is the state of the case? Am I so very well educated? I did not
-know it,” said Mr. Tottenham, “but you need not compel us to follow
-Dogberry’s maxim, and produce our education when there’s no need for
-such vanities. I have pledged you to come to the shop, Mary, on
-Wednesday week. They think a great deal of securing my lady. They are
-going to give the trial scene from Pickwick, which is threadbare enough,
-but suits this sort of business, and there’s a performance of Watson’s
-on the cornet, and a duet, and some part songs, and so forth. I daresay
-it will bore you. This affair of Miss Lockwood’s is very troublesome,”
-Mr. Tottenham continued, sitting upright in his chair, and knitting his
-brows; “everything was working so well, and a real desire to improve
-showing itself among the people. These very girls, a fortnight since,
-were as much interested in the glacier theory, and as much delighted
-with the snow photographs as it was possible to be; but the moment a
-private question comes in, everything else goes to the wall.”
-
-“I suppose,” said Edgar, “the fact is that we are more interested about
-each other, on the whole, than in any abstract question, however
-elevating.”
-
-“Why, that is as much as to say that everything must give place to
-gossip,” said Lady Mary, severely, “a doctrine I will never give in to.”
-
-“And, by the way,” said Mr. Tottenham, sinking back into dreamy ease,
-“that reminds me of your sister’s great news. What sort of a family is
-it? I remember young Granton well enough, a good-looking boy in the
-Guards, exactly like all the others. Little Mary is, how old?
-Twenty-one? How those children go on growing. It is the first good
-marriage, so to speak, in the family. I am glad Augusta is to have the
-salve of a coronet after all her troubles.”
-
-“What a mixture of metaphors!” cried Lady Mary, “the salve of a
-coronet!”
-
-“That comes of my superior education, my dear,” said Mr. Tottenham. “She
-doesn’t deny it’s a comfort to her. Her eyes, poor soul, had a look of
-satisfaction in them. And she has had anxiety enough of all kinds.”
-
-“We need not discuss Augusta’s affairs, Tom,” said Lady Mary, with a
-glance at Edgar, so carefully veiled that the aroused and exciting state
-in which he was, made him perceive it at once. She gave her husband a
-much more distinct warning glance; but he, good man, either did not, or
-would not see it.
-
-“What, not such a happy incident as this?” said Mr. Tottenham; “the
-chances are we shall hear of nothing else for some time to come. It will
-be in the papers, and all your correspondents will send you
-congratulations. After all, as Earnshaw says, people are more interested
-about each other than about any abstract question. I should not wonder
-even, if, as one nail knocks out another, little Mary’s great marriage
-may banish the scandal about Miss Lockwood from the mind of the shop.”
-
-Lady Mary for some seconds yielded to an impulse quite unusual to her.
-“What can the shop possibly have to do--” she began, hastily, “with the
-Thornleigh affairs?” she added, in a subdued tone. “If it was our own
-little Molly, indeed, whom they all know--”
-
-“My dear Mary, they interest themselves in all your alliances,” said Mr.
-Tottenham, “and you forget that Gussy is as well known among them as you
-are. Besides, as Earnshaw says--Don’t go, Earnshaw; the night is young,
-and I am unusually disposed for talk.”
-
-“So one can see,” said Lady Mary, under her breath, with as strong an
-inclination to whip her husband as could have been felt by the most
-uncultivated of womankind. “Come and look at my prospectus and the
-course of studies we are arranging for this winter, Mr. Earnshaw. Some
-of the girls might be stirred up to go in for the Cambridge
-examinations, I am sure. I want you so much to come to the village with
-me, and be introduced to a few of them. There is really a great deal of
-intelligence among them; uneducated intelligence, alas! but under good
-guidance, and with the help which all my friends are so kindly willing
-to give--”
-
-“But please remember,” cried Edgar, struggling for a moment on the edge
-of the whirlpool, “that I cannot undertake to direct intelligence. I can
-teach German if you like--though probably the first German governess
-that came to hand would do it a great deal better.”
-
-“Not so, indeed; the Germans are, perhaps, better trained in the theory
-of education than we are; but no woman I have ever met had education
-enough herself to be competent to teach in a thoroughly effective way,”
-cried Lady Mary, mounting her steed triumphantly. Edgar sat down humbly
-by her, almost forgetting, in his sense of the comical position which
-fate had placed him in, the daily increasing embarrassments which filled
-his path. All the Universities put together could scarcely have made up
-as much enthusiasm for education as shone in Lady Mary’s pretty eyes,
-and poured from her lips in floods of eloquence. Mr. Tottenham, who
-leaned back in his chair abstractedly, and pondered his plans for the
-perfection of the faulty and troublesome little society in the shop,
-took but little notice, being sufficiently occupied with views of his
-own; but Edgar felt his own position as a superior being, and
-representative of the highest education, so comical, that it was all he
-could do to keep his gravity. To guide the eager uneducated
-intelligence, to discipline the untrained thought, nay, to teach women
-to think, in whose hands he, poor fellow, felt himself as a baby, was
-about the most ludicrous suggestion, he felt, that could have been made
-to him. But nothing could exceed the good faith and earnestness with
-which Lady Mary expounded her plans, and described the results she hoped
-for. This was much safer than the talk about little Mary Thornleigh’s
-marriage--or the unexplainable reasons which kept Gussy Thornleigh from
-marrying at all--or any other of those interesting personal problems
-which were more exciting to the mind, and much less easily discussed.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XX.
-
-The Village.
-
-
-The next afternoon was appointed by Lady Mary as the time at which Edgar
-should accompany her to Harbour Green, and be made acquainted with at
-least a portion of his future pupils. As I have said, this was a safe
-sort of resource, and he could not but feel that a compassionate
-understanding of his probable feelings, and difficulties of a more
-intimate kind, had something to do with Lady Mary’s effort to enlist him
-so promptly and thoroughly in the service of her scheme. Both husband
-and wife, however, in this curious house were so thoroughly intent upon
-their philanthropical schemes, that it was probably mere supererogation
-to add a more delicate unexpressed motive to the all-sufficing
-enthusiasm which carried them forward. Shortly, however, before the hour
-appointed, a little twisted note was brought to him, postponing till the
-next day the proposed visit to the village, and Edgar was left to
-himself to pursue his own studies on Phil’s behalf, whose education he
-felt was quite enough responsibility for one so little trained in the
-art of conveying instruction as he was. Phil had already favoured him
-with one of those engrossing and devoted attachments which are so
-pleasant, yet sometimes so fatiguing to the object. He followed Edgar
-about wherever he went, watched whatever he did with devout admiration,
-and copied him in such minute matters as were easily practicable, with
-the blindest adoration. The persistence with which he quoted Mr.
-Earnshaw had already become the joke of the house, and with a devotion
-which was somewhat embarrassing he gave Edgar his company continually,
-hanging about him wherever he was. As Edgar read Lady Mary’s note which
-the boy brought to him, Phil volunteered explanations.
-
-“I know why mamma wrote you that note,” he said, “it’s because Aunt
-Augusta is there. I heard them saying--
-
-“Never mind what you heard them saying,” said Edgar; and then he yielded
-to a movement of nature. “Was your aunt alone, Phil?” he asked--then
-grew crimson, feeling his weakness.
-
-“How red your face is, Mr. Earnshaw, are you angry? No, I don’t think
-she was alone; some of the girls were with her. Mamma said she was
-engaged to you, and they made her give it up.”
-
-“Naturally,” said Edgar, “any day will do for me. What do you say now,
-Phil, as I am free for the afternoon, to a long walk?”
-
-“Hurrah!” cried the boy, “I wanted so much to go up to the gamekeeper’s,
-up through the woods to see the last lot of puppies. Do you mind
-walking that way? Oh, thanks, awfully! I am so much obliged to Aunt
-Augusta for stopping mamma.”
-
-“Come along then,” said Edgar. He was glad to turn his back on the
-house, though he could not but look back as he left, wondering whether,
-at any moment at any door or window, the face might appear which he had
-not seen for so long--the face of his little love, whom he had once
-loved but lightly, yet which seemed to fix itself more vividly in his
-recollection every day. He could not sit still and permit himself to
-think that possibly she was in the same house with him, within reach,
-that he might hear at any moment the sound of her voice. No, rather,
-since he had given his voluntary promise to her mother, and since he was
-so far separated from her by circumstances, rather hurry out of the
-house and turn his back upon a possibility which raised such a tumult in
-his heart. He breathed more freely when he was out of doors, in the damp
-wintry woods, with Phil, who kept close by his side, carrying on a
-monologue very different in subject, but not so different in character
-from his father’s steady strain of talk. There is a certain charm in
-these wintry woods, the wet greenness of the banks, the mournful
-stillness of the atmosphere, the crackle of here and there a dropping
-branch, the slow sailing through the air now and then of a leaf, falling
-yellow and stiff from the top of a bough. Edgar liked the covert and the
-companionship of trees, which were denuded like himself of all that had
-made life brave and fair. The oaks and beeches, stiffening in their
-faded russet and yellow, stood against the deep green of the pine and
-firs, like forlorn old beauties in rustling court dresses of a worn-out
-fashion; the great elms and spare tall poplars spread their intricate
-lacework of branches against the sky; far in the west the sun was still
-shining, giving a deep background of red and gold to the crowded groups
-of dry boughs. The rustle of some little woodland animal warmly furred
-among the fallen leaves and decaying husks, the crackling of that branch
-which always breaks somewhere in the silence, the trickle of water,
-betraying itself by the treacherous greenness of the mossy grass--these
-were all the sounds about, except their own footsteps, and the clear
-somewhat shrill voice of the boy, talking with cheerful din against
-time, and almost making up for the want of the birds, so much did his
-cheerful aimless chatter resemble their sweet confusion of song and
-speech, the ordinary language of the woods.
-
-“I could hit that squirrel as easy as look at him. I bet you a shilling
-I could! only just look here, cocking his shining eye at us, the cheeky
-little brute! Here goes!”
-
-“Don’t,” said Edgar, “how should you like it if some Brobdingnagian
-being took a shot at you? What do you think, Phil--were those ladies
-going to stay?”
-
-“Those ladies?” cried Phil in amazement, for indeed they were dragged in
-without rhyme or reason in the middle of the woods and of their walk.
-“Do you mean Aunt Augusta and the girls? Oh, is that all? No, I don’t
-suppose so. Should you mind? They’re jolly enough you know, after all,
-not bad sort of girls, as girls go.”
-
-“I am glad you give so good an account of them,” said Edgar, amused in
-spite of himself.
-
-“Oh, not half bad sort of girls! nicer a great deal than the ones from
-the Green, who come up sometimes. But, I say, Myra Witherington’s an
-exception. She _is_ fun; you should see her do old Jones, or the Rector;
-how you would laugh! Once I saw her do papa. I don’t think she meant it;
-she just caught his very tone, and the way he turns his head, all in a
-moment; and then she flushed up like fire and was in such a fright lest
-we should notice. Nobody noticed but me.”
-
-“Your cousins, I suppose, are not so clever as that,” said Edgar,
-humouring the boy, and feeling himself as he did so, the meanest of
-household spies.
-
-“It depends upon which it is. Mary is fun, the one that’s going to be
-married,” said Phil, “I suppose _that_ will spoil her; and Bee is not
-bad. She ain’t so clever as Mary, but she’s not bad. Then there’s Gussy,
-is a great one for telling stories; she’s capital when it rains and one
-can’t get out. She’s almost as good as the lady with the funny name in
-the Arabian Nights.”
-
-“Does she often come here?” said Edgar with a tremble in his voice.
-
-“They say she’s going to be a nun,” said Phil; “how funny people are! I
-can’t fancy Cousin Gussy shut up in a convent, can you? I’d rather
-marry, like Mary, some great swell; though they are never any fun after
-they’re married,” Phil added parenthetically with profound gravity. As
-for Edgar he was in no humour to laugh at this precocious wisdom. He
-went straight on, taking the wrong way, and scarcely hearing the shouts
-of the boy who called him back. “This is the way to the gamekeeper’s,”
-cried Phil, “Mr. Earnshaw, where were you going? You look as if you had
-been set thinking and could not see the way.”
-
-How true it was; he had been set thinking, and he knew no more what road
-he was going than if he had been blindfolded. Years after, the damp
-greenness of the fading year, the songless season, the bare branches
-against the sky, would bring to Edgar’s mind the moment when he shot off
-blankly across the path in the wood at Tottenham’s, not knowing and not
-caring where he went.
-
-Next day Lady Mary fulfilled her promise. She drove him down in her own
-pony carriage to the village, and there took him upon a little round of
-calls. They went to the Rectory, and to Mrs. Witherington’s, and to the
-Miss Bakers who were great authorities at Harbour Green. The Rector was
-a large heavy old man, with heavy eyes, who had two daughters, and had
-come by degrees (though it was secretly said not without a struggle) to
-be very obedient to them. He said, “Ah, yes, I dare say you are right,”
-to everything Lady Mary said, and gave Edgar a little admonition as to
-the seriousness of the work he was undertaking. “Nothing is more
-responsible, or more delicate than instructing youth,” said the Rector,
-“for my part I am not at all sure what it is to come to. The maids know
-as much now as their mistresses used to do, and as for the mistresses I
-do not know where they are to stop.”
-
-“But you would not have us condemned to ignorance, papa,” said one of
-his daughters.
-
-“Oh, no, I should not take it upon me to condemn you to anything,” said
-the old man with his quavering voice, “I hope only that you may not find
-you’ve gone further than you had any intention of going, before you’ve
-done.”
-
-This somewhat vague threat was all he ventured upon in the way of
-remonstrance; but he did not give any encouragement, and was greatly
-afraid of the whole proceeding as revolutionary, and of Lady Mary
-herself, as a dangerous and seditious person sowing seeds of rebellion.
-Mrs. Witherington, to whom they went next, was scarcely more
-encouraging. Her house was a large Queen Anne house, red brick, with a
-pediment surmounting a great many rows of twinkling windows. It fronted
-to the Green, without any grassplot or ornamental shrubs in front; but
-with a large well-walled garden behind, out of which rich branches of
-lilac and laburnum drooped in spring, and many scents enriched the air.
-The rooms inside were large, but not very lofty, and the two
-drawing-rooms occupied the whole breadth of the house, one room looking
-to the Green and the other to the garden. There were, or ought to have
-been folding doors between, but these were never used, and the opening
-was hung with curtains instead, curtains which were too heavy, and
-over-weighted the rooms. But otherwise the interior was pretty, with
-that homely gracefulness, familiar and friendly, which belongs to the
-dwelling of a large family where everyone has his, or rather her,
-habitual concerns and occupations. The front part was the most cheerful,
-the back the finest. There a great mirror was over the mantelpiece, but
-here the late Colonel’s swords, crossed, held the place of honour. The
-visitors entered through this plainer room, which acted as ante-chamber
-to the other, and where Mrs. Witherington was discovered, as in a scene
-at the theatre, seated at a writing table with a pile of tradesmen’s
-books before her. She was a tall spare woman, having much more the
-aspect which is associated with the opprobrious epithet, old maid, than
-that which traditionally ought to belong to the mother of nine
-children--all except the four daughters who remained at home--out and
-about in the world. She had three sons who were scattered in the
-different corners of the earth, and two daughters married, one of whom
-was in India, and the other a consul’s wife in Spain. The young ladies
-at home were the youngest of the family, and were, the two married
-daughters said to each other when they met, which was very seldom, “very
-differently brought up from what we were, and allowed a great deal too
-much of their own way.” Neither of these ladies could understand what
-mamma could be thinking of to indulge those girls so; but Mrs.
-Witherington was by no means an over-indulgent person by nature, and I
-think she must have made up her mind that to indulge the vagaries of
-the girls was safest on the whole and most conducive to domestic peace.
-
-Fortunately each of these young women had a “way” of her own, except
-Myra, the youngest, who was the funny one, whom Phil and most boys
-admired. The others were--Sissy, who was understood to have a suspended
-love affair, suspended in consequence of the poverty of her lover, from
-which she derived both pain and pleasure, so to speak; for her sisters,
-not to speak of the other young ladies of the Green, undoubtedly looked
-up to her in consequence, and gave her a much more important place in
-their little world than would have been hers by nature; and Marian, who
-was the musical sister, who played “anything” at sight, and was good for
-any amount of accompaniments, and made an excellent second in a duet;
-and Emma, who was the useful one of the family, and possessed the
-handsome little sewing-machine in the corner, at which she executed
-yards upon yards of stitching every day, and made and mended for the
-establishment. Sissy, in addition to having a love affair, drew; so that
-these three sisters were all well defined, and distinct. Only Myra was
-good for nothing in particular. She was the youngest, long the baby, the
-pet of the rest, who had never quite realized the fact that she was no
-longer a child. Myra was saucy and clever, and rather impertinent, and
-considered a wit in her own family. Indeed they all had been accustomed
-to laugh at Myra’s jokes, almost as long as they could recollect, and
-there is nothing that establishes the reputation of a wit like this.
-Mrs. Witherington was alone in the ante-room, as I have said, when Lady
-Mary entered, followed by Edgar. She rose somewhat stiffly to meet her
-visitors, for she too being of the old school disapproved of Lady Mary,
-who was emphatically of the new school, and a leader of all innovations;
-though from the fact of being Lady Mary, she was judged more leniently
-than a less distinguished revolutionary would have been. Mrs.
-Witherington made her greetings sufficiently loud to call the attention
-of all the daughters, who came in a little crowd, each rising from her
-corner to hail the great lady. One of them drew the cosiest chair near
-the fire for her, another gave her an embroidered hand-screen to shield
-her face from its glow, and the third hung about her in silent
-admiration, eagerly looking for some similar service to render. Myra
-followed last of all, rushing audibly downstairs, and bursting into the
-room with eager exclamations of pleasure.
-
-“I saw the pony-carriage at the Rectory gate, and I hoped you were
-coming here,” cried Myra; who stopped short suddenly, however, and
-blushed and laughed at sight of the stranger whom she had not perceived.
-
-“This is Mr. Earnshaw, Myra,” said Lady Mary, “whom I told you of--who
-is going to be so good as to teach us. I am taking him to see some of
-the ladies whom he is to help to educate.”
-
-“Please don’t convey a false impression,” said Edgar. “You are all a
-hundred times better educated than I am. I don’t make any such
-pretensions.”
-
-“We are not educated at all,” said Sissy Witherington, folding her
-hands, with a soft sigh. She said it because Lady Mary said it, and
-because soft sighs were the natural expression of a young heart
-blighted; but I don’t think she would have liked to hear the same
-sentiment from any one else.
-
-“Indeed, I think it is extremely disagreeable of you all to say so,”
-said Mrs. Witherington, “and a reflection on your parents, who did the
-very best they could for you. I am sure your education, which you
-despise so, cost quite as much, at least for the last year or two, as
-the boys’ did. I beg your pardon, Lady Mary--but I do think it is a
-little hard upon the older people, all these fine ideas that are being
-put into the girls’ heads.”
-
-“But, dear Mrs. Witherington, how could you help it?” said the rebel
-chief. “The very idea of educating women is a modern invention; nobody
-so much as thought of it in the last generation. Women have never been
-educated. My mother thought exactly the same as you do. There was
-absolutely _no_ education for women in her day.”
-
-“Well,” said Mrs. Witherington, more erect than ever, “I had an idea
-once that I myself was an educated person, and I daresay so had the
-countess--till my children taught me better.”
-
-“I declare it is hard on mamma,” cried Myra; “the only one among us who
-can write a decent hand, or do anything that’s useful.”
-
-“Of course nobody means that,” said Lady Mary. “What I say is that every
-generation ought to improve and make progress, if there is to be any
-amelioration in the world at all; and as, fortunately, there has sprung
-up in our day an increased perception of the advantages of education--”
-
-Here Emma’s sewing-machine came to a little knot, and there was a sharp
-click, and the thread broke. “Oh, that comes of talking!” said Emma, as
-she set herself to pull out the ravelled thread and set it right again.
-She was not accustomed to take much share in the conversation, and this
-was her sole contribution to it while the visitors remained.
-
-“Well, a sewing-machine is a wonderful invention,” said Mrs.
-Witherington; “don’t you think so, Mr. Earnshaw? Not that I like the
-work much myself. It is always coarse and rough on the wrong side, and
-you can’t use it for fine things, such as baby’s things, for instance;
-but certainly the number of tucks and flounces that you can allow
-yourself, knowing that the machine will do dozens in a day, is
-extraordinary. And in a house where there are so many girls!--Emma does
-a great deal more with her machine, I am sure, than ever Penelope did,
-who was one of your classical friends, Lady Mary.”
-
-“And she can undo her work still more quickly,” cried Myra, with an
-outburst of laughter, “as it’s only chain-stitch. What a pity Penelope
-did not know of it.”
-
-“But then the question is,” said Sissy, “whether we are so very much
-the better for having more tucks and flounces. (By the way, no one wears
-tucks now, mamma.) The good of a sewing machine is that it leaves one
-much more time for improving one’s mind.”
-
-“In my day,” said Mrs. Witherington, going on with her private argument,
-“we had our things all made of fine linen, instead of the cotton you
-wear now, and trimmed with real lace instead of the cheap imitation
-trash that everybody has. We had not so much ornament, but what there
-was, was good. My wedding things were all trimmed with real Mechlin
-_that_ broad--”
-
-“That must have been very charming,” said Lady Mary; “but in the
-meantime we must settle about our work. Mr. Earnshaw is willing to give
-us an hour on Tuesdays. Should you all come? You must not undertake it,
-if it will interfere with other work.”
-
-“Oh yes, I want to know German better,” said Sissy. “It would be very
-nice to be able to speak a little, especially if mamma goes abroad next
-summer as she promises. To know a language pretty well is so very
-useful.”
-
-Lady Mary made a little gesture of despair with her pretty hands. “Oh,
-my dear girls,” she said, “how are you ever to be thoroughly educated if
-you go on thinking only of what’s useful, and to speak a little German
-when you go abroad? What is wanted is to make you think--to train your
-minds into good methods of work--to improve you altogether mentally, and
-give you the exactness of properly cultivated intellects; just the
-thing that we women never have.”
-
-Myra was the only one who had courage enough to reply, which she did
-with such a good hearty ringing peal of laughter as betrayed Edgar out
-of the gravity becoming the situation. Myra thought Lady Mary’s address
-the best joke in the world.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XXI.
-
-Wisdom and Foolishness.
-
-
-“It is astonishing,” said Lady Mary, mournfully, “how entirely one is
-misunderstood in all one’s deeper meanings--even by those one has, so to
-speak, trained one’s self.”
-
-“Yes,” said Edgar, hesitating, with the modesty that became his humble
-pretensions; “but, after all, to desire a piece of knowledge because it
-is useful, is not an unworthy sentiment.”
-
-“Oh, no, not at all an unworthy sentiment; indeed, very right in its
-way; but totally subversive,” said Lady Mary, sadly, “of the highest
-principle of education, which aims at thorough cultivation of the mind
-rather than at conferring certain commonplace matter-of-fact
-acquirements. Considered in that point of view, professional education
-would be the highest, which I don’t think it is. Unless education is
-prized for itself, as a discipline of the mind, and not merely as
-teaching us some things we don’t know, we can never reach the highest
-level; and that truth, alas!” Lady Mary sighed, still more sadly, with
-all the disappointment of a baffled reformer, “women have not even begun
-to perceive. You laugh, Mr. Earnshaw, but, for my part, I cannot
-laugh.”
-
-Edgar made the best apology he could for his untimely merriment. He was
-very much inclined to adopt the primitive Adamic argument, and declare
-that it was Myra’s fault; but either high principle, or terror of Lady
-Mary (I think the latter) intervened, and he refrained from thus
-committing himself. They walked along the sunny side of the Green
-together, the ponies having been sent home on account of the cold. It
-was a pretty place, like a village of romance, a succession of irregular
-houses surrounding a large triangular green, which was very green, and
-very well kept, and almost entirely appropriated to the gentry, though
-now and then a ragged donkey of the lower classes would graze peaceably
-in a corner, to the great advantage, pictorially, of the scene. Some of
-the houses were, like Mrs. Witherington’s, of Queen Anne’s time, not
-antique, but pleasantly old-fashioned and characteristic; others were
-white cottages, half hid in shrubberies. In one, which was very red, and
-very close upon the road, and had its rows of windows still more crowded
-than the others--a thin house, only one room in depth, with a very
-brightly polished brass knocker, and very white steps--there were signs
-of confusion which caught Lady Mary’s eye. She explained to Edgar that
-it was the doctor’s house, that he was going away, which was not much
-loss, as he was an old-fashioned man of the old school, and did not keep
-pace with the times; and that she trusted the new man, who was coming
-from Scotland, would be better. Edgar listened politely, without paying
-much attention, for, in his ignorance, he did not feel much interest in
-the new doctor.
-
-“I must ask Miss Annetta about him,” said Lady Mary, as she led the way
-into a house which turned only its gable to the Green, and possessed a
-carriage drive and a wilderness of lofty shrubs. The cottage itself was
-damp and weedy, and rather dark, with blinds and curtains half drawn
-over the little windows, and a sort of dim religious light, green in
-tone, and very limited in degree, pervading the place. When Edgar’s eyes
-became accustomed to it, he saw that the little drawing-room was
-plastered over with corner cupboards, and velvet-covered shelves, and
-brackets, laden with old china and other curious things. The room was so
-crowded with these ornaments, and with old furniture, that it was
-scarcely possible to move without displacing something--a drawback which
-was all the more apparent, as both the Miss Bakers were large persons,
-many sizes too big for their house. They were not a well-matched pair.
-The eldest was a harsh-featured woman, looking fully forty-five, and
-calling herself so, with a total disregard to the feelings of Miss
-Annetta, who, all the world knew, was but two years younger. Miss Baker
-was clever, and the other was silly; but yet Miss Annetta was the most
-calculated to attract the attention of the sympathetic spectator, who
-could either laugh at her, or weep over her, as his nature prompted. She
-had no remnant of youth in the foolish face that had once been pretty
-enough; but her entire development, mental and moral, seemed to have
-been arrested when she was about seventeen, at the age when croquet (if
-croquet existed--I am afraid it did not exist at so early a period) and
-new patterns for worsted work, and crochet, were the furthest limits of
-her desires. Poor soul! to look at her, she was forty-three, _bien
-sonnés_, but to listen to her soft little voice and its prattle, she was
-seventeen, not a day more. This curious fossilised girl was left to
-Edgar’s share in the heat of the conversation, which immediately ensued
-between Lady Mary and Miss Baker--who sympathised deeply on the
-educational question, and had a great deal to say to each other.
-
-After Edgar had been introduced as being “so good as to be disposed to
-help” in the great work, he was for the moment forgotten, while the two
-ladies talked of committees and schemes of lectures, and a great many
-things which he felt to be quite above his humble intelligence. Miss
-Annetta was exactly in the same position. The talk was a great deal too
-old and too serious for her. She sat silent for a minute or two, feeling
-somewhat coy of addressing that wonder and mystery, “a gentleman,”
-giving him little looks, half-saucy, half-timid, and betraying an
-inclination to go off into giggles of laughter, which filled Edgar with
-the gravest surprise. Finally, she made a bold step, and addressed him,
-giving the curls which she wore on each side of her face a little shake
-and toss of conscious attractiveness before she began.
-
-“You have not been long in the neighbourhood, Mr. Earnshaw? Do say you
-like it. Dear Lady Mary makes Tottenham so charming, _so_ charming! It
-is such an acquisition having her. Have you had nice skating lately? I
-hear some of the young ladies from the Green have been at the pond. I
-have not gone yet myself, for I don’t skate, though everybody does
-now-a-days. They tell me I should learn directly if I only had the
-courage to try; but I am such a little coward, I really daren’t venture.
-Of course you will laugh at me; but I dare not. I really haven’t the
-courage.”
-
-“I am not at all surprised that you have not the courage,” said Edgar,
-looking at her smiling face, and much disturbed in his mind as to what
-to say. “One must make up one’s mind to a good many tumbles; which are
-all very well for boys and girls--”
-
-“Oh, I shouldn’t like that,” cried Miss Annetta; “children, as you say,
-don’t mind. What a pity you did not come in the summer, Mr. Earnshaw. It
-is such a sociable neighbourhood. We had a garden party somewhere, at
-least twice a week, and they are such nice things for bringing young
-people together--don’t you think so? Better than evening parties; you
-can see so much more of people, going at four or five o’clock--and if
-you’re intimate, staying for high tea and a little music after. It is a
-delightful way of spending the day. There is nothing can take the same
-place in winter. To be sure if a girl is bold and knows how to
-skate--but I really daren’t try, I haven’t the courage;--and you don’t
-give me much encouragement, Mr. Earnshaw, it must be allowed.”
-
-Edgar looked on in dismay while Miss Annetta shook her curls at him, and
-giggled as she had done when she was pretty and seventeen, just
-twenty-six years ago. What could he say? He was trying to find something
-polite and pleasant with which to carry on the conversation, when Lady
-Mary suddenly turned from her grave interview with the elder sister, and
-interfered for his salvation.
-
-“Miss Annetta,” said Lady Mary, suddenly, “I am sure I can get
-information from you about the doctor. Has he gone? and has the new one
-come? and who is he? I hope he is not a mere stupid country
-practitioner. I saw a great commotion at the house.”
-
-“Oh, poor Mrs. Franks,” said Miss Annetta, “they were just preparing to
-go; but she, poor thing, though I don’t like to speak of such things
-before gentlemen, went and had a baby this morning. It has put them all
-out so dreadfully! and she had nothing ready, not so much as a little
-cap. Just like her, you will say; and of course they can’t go away now
-for ever so long.”
-
-“Poor soul,” said Lady Mary, “I must send and ask if we can do
-anything.”
-
-“Indeed, I think it wicked to encourage such people,” said Miss Baker.
-“How dare she go on having babies, knowing she can’t afford it? I have
-no pity for such a woman. Of course she brings it all on herself; and if
-she were the only one to suffer, I shouldn’t mind. But just fancy a
-woman of my age, subject to bronchitis, left to the tender mercies of
-her ninny of a husband, probably for six weeks longer, just the worst
-time of the year--not to speak of Annetta, who is a perfect martyr to
-rheumatism.”
-
-“Oh, Jane!” exclaimed Miss Annetta, feebly.
-
-“Though I think it’s gout,” said Miss Baker. “When gout is in a family,
-I believe it never lets you go much beyond forty without entering an
-appearance; which is my great reason for hoping I shall escape
-scot-free, seeing I’m forty-five.”
-
-“You must not believe all my sister says; she is so fond of her fun,”
-said Miss Annetta, in an aside to Edgar. “Oh, I have heard a great deal
-about the new doctor, Lady Mary. He is quite young, and very handsome
-and nice, people say. He is coming straight from Scotland, so I suppose
-he must be very clever, for so many new medical things are found out
-there. I hear he has dark hair and eyes, and tall, and a very nice
-manner.”
-
-“Well I suppose these are interesting details,” said Lady Mary; “but I
-should have liked to know a little more of his qualifications, I
-confess.”
-
-“And he has a charming sister, a widow, who keeps his house; so that he
-will be able to ask people, which a bachelor never is, except men, and
-they don’t count as society;” cried Miss Annetta, continuing with
-breathless haste her report; for if Lady Mary had a fault, it was that
-she was too ready to interrupt uninteresting speeches. “The Franks are
-so poor, and they have so many children, they never were any good, not
-even for a garden party; but you must not think from what I say that I
-don’t love children, Mr. Earnshaw. I adore them! When are Phil and
-little Mary coming for a romp, and to see all our curiosities? I do feel
-so much at home with them, Lady Mary, you can’t think. Jane there says
-we are three romps all together, and she doesn’t know which is the
-worst.”
-
-“They will be delighted to come,” said Lady Mary, rising.
-
-“Oh, but I suppose I must ask permission of Mr. Earnshaw now?” said Miss
-Annetta. “If you will come too, you will see that your charge does not
-get into mischief, Mr. Earnshaw, and I am sure you will be quite an
-addition. You are not one of the stern tutors that frighten poor little
-things like me.”
-
-“Indeed I must carry Mr. Earnshaw off. We have no time to spare,” said
-Lady Mary. “Little fool!” she cried, severely, as soon as they had left
-the cottage. “I hope you don’t mind her impertinent chatter? I am sure
-nothing could be further from my intention than to subject you to any
-such disagreeable comment.”
-
-“Disagreeable! to call me what I am, Phil’s tutor?” said Edgar. “Why,
-what a mean-spirited wretch you must think me. To accept a post, and be
-ashamed of the name of it--”
-
-“But, Mr. Earnshaw, you know that is not how we think. We consider you
-only as a friend--and take it as the greatest kindness you can do us.”
-Then Lady Mary, with a flush of generous sentiment, took a warm little
-hand out of her muff, and gave it to Edgar, who was a great deal more
-touched by the _amende_ than he had been hurt by Miss Annetta’s innocent
-assault.
-
-“Thanks,” he said, with moisture in his eyes, “so much the better for
-me, and so much the less reason for being ashamed of my post. If you
-snubbed me, I might have some excuse perhaps for making a fool of
-myself.”
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw!” said Lady Mary again, but this time with hesitation, and
-almost timidity. “I wonder if you will think I mean to snub you--if I
-say something which I am almost bound to say?”
-
-“Say it!” said Edgar, smiling. He felt in a moment that he knew what was
-coming, and looked into her tremulous countenance with all the superior
-calm of a man prepared for pain, and prescient of what was to come.
-
-“You will not be angry? Oh, Mr. Earnshaw! if you only knew how I fret at
-such restrictions--how I wish we could put aside mercenary
-considerations, and acknowledge ourselves all to be equal, as I am sure
-we are by nature!”
-
-“I don’t think we are equal by nature,” said Edgar; “but never mind the
-abstract question. I promise not even to be wounded. And I think I know
-what you are going to say.”
-
-“It is just this,” said Lady Mary, hurriedly, “Forgive me! The young
-Thornleighs, Mr. Earnshaw, have always been very much with us. I am fond
-of them, and so is Mr. Tottenham, and they are always coming and going.
-It would be ungenerous to you as well as unkind to them, if we were to
-send them away because you are here.”
-
-Edgar did no more than bow in assent. A certain sense of personal
-dignity, quite new to him, kept him from doing more.
-
-“It would be thoroughly ungenerous to you,” said Lady Mary, warmly, “and
-contrary to the perfect trust we feel--both my husband and I--in you,
-our friend.”
-
-“Just one word, Lady Mary,” said Edgar, “and pardon me if it seems
-harsh. Why did you not think of this before? I came here in a mist, not
-knowing very well what was to happen to me; but _you_ knew the whole,
-both my side and the other. I need not say send me away, which is the
-most natural thing to do, for you were aware of all the circumstances
-the other day when you brought me here. Of course, at any moment, I am
-ready to go.”
-
-“That is not quite generous,” said Lady Mary, with an appealing look,
-“of course we knew, and trusted you as we trust you now--fully. But, Mr.
-Earnshaw, forgive me! I promised to Augusta to say just one word.”
-
-“I have already said to Lady Augusta all that can be said,” said Edgar;
-“that she need not fear me--that I will not put myself in her way.”
-
-They had, by this time, reached the avenue, and were walking
-unconsciously fast in the roused state of feeling which this interview
-had called forth, between the long level lines of leafless trees, on the
-edge of the sodden, bright green wintry grass, which tempted the feet
-with its mossy softness. It was afternoon, and the long slanting lines
-of sunshine lighted up, but scarcely had the better of, the creeping
-shadows which bided their time in every corner. Lady Mary put out her
-hand again suddenly, with an excitement which she did not seem able to
-control, and laid it on Edgar’s arm.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw!” she said, the tears coming to her eyes. “It is not for
-you. Augusta, like myself, trusts you entirely; it is not you.”
-
-“What then?” said Edgar, suddenly stopping short, and facing her.
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw! Oh! how can I put into words the strange service--the
-thing beyond words, which Augusta thinks she can trust you enough to ask
-for. Oh! Mr. Earnshaw, see how absolute is our faith in you! It is not
-you she fears. It is the impetuosity--it is the----it is her own
-child.”
-
-Edgar stood still, and did not speak--how could he? In his life he had
-had enough to chill him one way or another; now, all at once, there
-seemed to burst forth a fountain of warmth and life within him--in his
-very heart. The water came to his eyes. If he had been alone I believe
-it would have overflowed, so poignant was the touch of this sudden,
-scarcely comprehensible happiness. “Ah!” he cried, summing up in that
-little syllable, as is done so often, worlds of sudden understanding, of
-emotion inexpressible in words; and so stood gazing at the unlucky
-emissary, who had put things inconceivable, things unbelievable, all at
-once into his throbbing brain.
-
-“Oh, God forgive me!” cried Lady Mary, with a devoutness quite unusual
-to her. “What have I done--what have I done?”
-
-“Look here,” said Edgar, feeling a strange difficulty of articulation,
-and with a consciousness that, instead of being eloquent, as he ought to
-have been in the circumstances, his words were homely, almost rude; “So
-far as I am myself concerned, nothing will make me swerve from my word.
-Lady Augusta need have no fear for me; but if--” and here he paused, “if
-the happiness of another were any way involved. It is not my
-supposition, pardon me, it is yours. If----then I will be bound by no
-word, no promise, nothing but--_her_ will whatever it is. I am ready to
-balk myself, to give up the desire of my heart, to say never a word, so
-far as I am concerned. But her I will not balk; it is not my place.
-_Her_ will she shall have if I can get it for her--at any risk, with any
-pains! Lady Mary, bid me go, or take the consequences; this is all I
-will say.”
-
-“Oh, Mr. Earnshaw!” cried Lady Mary, in a burst of injudicious sympathy.
-“Oh, Edgar! now I understand them;” and with that, this very foolish,
-very clever, little woman sat down upon the stump of a tree, and cried
-with all her heart. She was totally taken by surprise. She had believed
-him to be so good, so ready to obliterate himself, that she half
-despised him through all her generous compassion and liking. I think it
-is Mr. Charles Reade who describes, somewhat coarsely perhaps, but very
-powerfully, the woman’s surprise at discovering herself to be, for the
-first time, face to face with a male of her own species. The surprise, I
-believe, is common to both sexes, and as much when love is out of the
-question as when it is deeply involved. It is one of the most
-penetrating of mental sensations--a sudden revelation. Lady Mary felt
-this as she sat down on the stump of the tree, and called Edgar Earnshaw
-by his Christian name, and cried, suddenly abandoning her colours,
-giving up her cause, owning herself utterly conquered. It was a great
-deal to be accomplished by so few words, and Edgar himself was so
-entirely moved and shaken by what had occurred, that he was not half
-sensible of his own success. All he knew was that Lady Mary felt for
-him, understood him; and this gave him comfort, when he suddenly dropped
-down after the exaltation of his sudden transport into a sadness which
-was its natural consequence. Lady Mary fell too, out of her sudden
-enthusiasm into a sense of absolute foolishness and the indiscreetest of
-sympathetic ebullitions, and picked herself up and went meekly along
-the avenue by Edgar’s side, trying to talk about the children, and
-raking up nursery stories of Phil’s cleverness to tell him, in what she
-would herself have thought the very imbecility of motherhood. Poor Lady
-Mary! she had the additional misery of thinking that Edgar perceived her
-utter downfall and change of sides--which he, poor fellow, with his
-heart jumping in his throat, was far too much agitated to do.
-
-But when they came to the great door, and were about to separate, she
-“thought it her duty” to leave him with a final word of counsel, “Mr.
-Earnshaw,” she said, almost timidly, “you saw that I was carried away by
-my feelings--for I feel for you, however I may be obliged to side with
-my sister in what she thinks to be best. You will forget all I have been
-so foolish as to say--and keep to what you said to her, won’t you? Don’t
-let me have done harm instead of good.”
-
-“I will keep to what I said to her, religiously; she has my word,” said
-Edgar, “but don’t think I can ever forget what you have said to me.”
-
-“Mr. Earnshaw, it was in confidence.”
-
-“In closest, dearest confidence,” he said, “but not to be
-forgotten--never to be forgotten; that is not possible. It will be wiser
-to tell Lady Augusta what I have said; and remember, dear Lady Mary,
-you, who have been so good to me, that, at a moment’s notice, at a word,
-at a look, I am ready to go away.”
-
-“Not if I can help it,” she said, half crying again, holding out her
-hand; and in sight of the biggest of the powdered footmen, and of the
-porter, and of one of the under-gardeners, all looking on in
-consternation, he kissed it, absolutely indifferent to what any one
-might say. To be sure it was only a little glove he kissed, warm out of
-her muff.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XXII.
-
-The Opposite Camp.
-
-
-The Thornleigh family, or at least the feminine portion of it, was, as
-has been indicated to the reader, in town--though it was still very
-early in the year--for the purpose of looking after little Mary’s
-trousseau, as her wedding was to take place at Easter. Lady Augusta’s
-family numbered eight altogether--five girls and three boys; and if I
-could tell you half the trouble she had gone through with them, you
-would no longer wonder at the wrinkles on her forehead. Her girls had
-been as troublesome as her boys, which seldom happens, and that was
-saying a great deal. Harry, the eldest son, was a prodigal, constantly
-in debt and in trouble; John, the second, who, it was hoped, would have
-distinguished himself by his brains, had been plucked for his degree;
-and the regiment of which Reginald, the youngest son, was an ornament,
-had been sent off to India, contrary to all prognostications. As for the
-daughters, though the youngest was nineteen, only one was married--a
-terrible thought for an anxious mother, as anxious to do her duty by
-her children as Lady Augusta was--and that one!
-
-The eldest was Ada, who, when her lover, only a poor clergyman at the
-best, died of typhus fever, caught in his work, never would look at
-another man, but retired meekly into old maidenhood. The second, Helena,
-was the clever one of the family. She had more brains than all the rest
-put together, everybody said, and so indeed she herself thought--more
-than she knew what to do with. If that head could only have been put on
-her brother John’s shoulders, what a blessing to everyone concerned!
-for, alas! all the good her brains did her, was to betray her into a
-marriage with a very clever and very learned professor, painfully
-superior to everybody else, but altogether out of “her own class.” The
-third was Gussy, who had been always Lady Augusta’s most dearly beloved,
-and who, three years ago, had been all but betrothed to the best match
-in the county--young Edgar Arden; but when Edgar was ruined, and
-disappeared, as it were, off the face of the earth, Gussy, instead of
-abandoning him as a sensible girl should have done, clung with the
-obstinacy which distinguished the Thornleighs, to the very recollection
-of him--which, as he was still living and marriageable, though no match
-at all, was a fanaticism much less manageable than Ada’s. For Ada, if
-she insisted upon considering herself a widow, was at all events quite
-submissive in other matters, and content to be her mother’s right hand
-at home; but Gussy, who had by no means given up her personal
-possibilities of happiness, and whose hopes were still alive, had been
-very restless, and worried her family with many vagaries. Schemes and
-crotchets ran, I suppose, in the noble blood which Lady Augusta had
-transmitted to her daughters. It showed itself in different ways in the
-sisters: Helena’s ways had been all intellectual, but Gussy, who was
-benevolent and religious, was more difficult to deal with. The
-melancholy seclusion, which to an English mind is the first
-characteristic of a convent, has little to do with the busy beehive of a
-modern sisterhood; and a young woman connected with such an institution
-has claims made upon her which are wonderfully embarrassing to a
-fashionable mother. Helena, in her wildest days, when she had all sorts
-of committees going on, could be taken to her meetings and lectures in
-the carriage, like a Christian, and could be sent for when these
-_séances_ were over; but Gussy had to trudge off on foot to all sorts of
-places in her long black cloak, and to visit houses in which fever, and
-every kind of evil, physical and moral, abounded; and was not to be
-shaken by any remonstrances. Indeed, the parents had been glad to
-compromise and consent to any amount of Associateship, so as to keep off
-the dreaded possibility of a determination on Gussy’s part to enter the
-Sisterhood for good and all. I do not think that Gussy herself ever
-threatened this, though she thought of it sometimes as her best
-alternative, if--; but there was still an if, a living and strong
-peradventure in her mind. Other good-natured friends, however, strongly
-pressed the possibility on Lady Augusta’s mind; they did all they could
-to persuade the anxious mother to take forcible steps in the matter, and
-constrain Gussy, on her obedience, to give up her objectionable
-charities and devotions. Fortunately Lady Augusta did not belong to that
-class of women who take pleasure in worrying their children for their
-good. She shook her head when her pretty daughter, still as pretty as in
-her first season, went out in her black cloak, and the hideous bonnet,
-which the mother would not allow to herself was “becoming,”
-notwithstanding its intrinsic hideousness. She moaned over the dirt, the
-disease, the evil smells and sights which her child was about to
-encounter, and about the risk of infection to which she would expose
-herself.
-
-“Who can tell what you may bring back with you, Gussy?--fever, or one
-does not know what,” Lady Augusta said, piteously. “It is so different
-with our poor people at home, whom we all know.”
-
-“I will shut myself up in my room, mamma; or I will go to the House,
-when there is anything infectious about; but I cannot give up my work,”
-said Gussy, filial, but determined.
-
-“Oh, work, child! what do you mean by work?” cried Lady Augusta, driven
-to her wits’ end. “Home is surely better than the ‘House,’ as you call
-it, and I am sure Ada and I find plenty to do at home. Why cannot you do
-as we do?”
-
-“Perhaps because Ada and you do it all,” said Gussy, unmoved by that
-despairing appeal which the old is always making to the new. Why cannot
-you do as we do?
-
-Poor Lady Augusta! It was she who had to give in, not her daughter. And
-you may easily understand, dear reader, how such a good mother was
-affected by the break-down of all her elder hopes--Ada, Helena, Gussy.
-Her three eldest children--all failures! What a heart-breaking thought
-it was to a woman of fashion, surrounded by contemporaries who had
-married their daughters well, and whom no man could reproach as
-negligent of their highest duties! She would wake sometimes in the
-middle of the night, and ask herself was it her fault? Had she put
-foolish notions into the heads of the girls? Certainly on the Thornleigh
-side there were no “views” nor “crotchets;” and Lady Augusta was aware
-that she herself had accomplished her own fate, not altogether because
-she preferred it, and had, perhaps, smothered personal predilections,
-which her children showed no inclination to smother. “Why cannot they do
-as I did?” she would say in her heart, with a sigh.
-
-But now at last a moment had come, in which her natural cares were
-rewarded. When Lord Granton proposed for Mary, her mother had almost
-cried with joy. For the first time here was a satisfactory--a completely
-satisfactory conclusion. So unexceptionable a young man, such a title,
-such estates, and a family which any girl might be proud to enter! The
-delight was all the sweeter from being so long deferred, so sadly
-missed. She forgave Helena her bad match, and Gussy and Ada their no
-matches at all, in the exhilaration of this happy moment. All her little
-grievances and grudges vanished in the sudden flood of sunshine. She was
-reconciled to all the world, even to Helena’s husband, the Professor,
-over whom, too, a heavenly radiance would be flung, when he was
-brother-in-law to a marquis. Poor Lady Augusta! In the full height of
-her exhilaration she betook herself to Tottenham’s to send the good news
-to her sister, feeling that now at least, perhaps for the first time,
-there was no trouble to lessen her happiness; and there she encountered,
-without any warning, Edgar! Heaven help her! a man still more
-objectionable, because more hopelessly penniless than Helena’s
-professor, a man without a name, without a shilling, without a
-connection! but whom Gussy, her favourite daughter, was ready, she knew,
-to follow to the end of the world. When she drove out to the rural
-Tottenham’s after this, to tell her sister the story of Mary’s
-engagement, is it wonderful that her agitated mind should have poured
-forth all its mingled strain of joy, tribulation, content, and alarm?
-The wholly joyful part of her budget was soon swallowed up in the
-revelation of her fears about Gussy, and in the reproaches she could not
-quite restrain. Why had her sister so added to her burdens, by this
-injudicious, this uncalled-for interference in Edgar’s fortunes? He was
-not so friendless, Lady Augusta protested, half indignant, half weeping,
-that they, of all the world, should have rushed into the breach, and
-taken him up--bringing him even into their house, where he could not
-fail to see Gussy one time or other. And then the anxious mother cried,
-and told her sister that she had no confidence in Gussy. In Edgar she
-had every confidence; he had promised never to thrust himself into her
-way; but Gussy had made no such promise, and her mother did not even
-dare to speak to her on the subject, knowing that she would be met by
-unanswerable arguments. Thus the two ladies, talking over the whole
-matter, fell into a not unnatural snare, and resolved to confide in
-Edgar, and trust to him to keep Gussy, as well as himself, right--not
-foreseeing how that confidence would change to him the whole aspect of
-affairs. When Ada heard how far her mother’s revelations had gone, and
-of the step Lady Mary was commissioned to take, she did not give it her
-approval, as Lady Augusta had hoped, but looked very grave, and doubted
-much the wisdom of the proceeding. “He promised never to stand in my
-way,” Lady Augusta said, much depressed by her privy-councillor’s
-disapproval. “But he did not promise for Gussy--what right would he have
-to undertake for Gussy?” said Ada, shaking her head. It was an idea
-which had not entered her mother’s mind, for Lady Augusta had that kind
-of confidence in Edgar, as of a man born to set everything right, which
-women, especially when surrounded by practical difficulties, are so
-ready to place in an ideal man. He had never objected to her commands
-hitherto; why should he now? Nevertheless, when Ada disappeared, Lady
-Augusta began to quake lest she should have done more harm than good.
-
-“We must try to get something for him to do,” she said, faltering,
-“something abroad. Notwithstanding all those absurd new arrangements,
-people of influence can still command situations abroad, I hope, if they
-choose to take the trouble. I shall speak to Lord Millboard, Ada; and I
-am sure Granton, dear fellow, would take any trouble, if he knew how
-important it was.”
-
-“Because he is happy himself, to prevent poor Gussy from being happy?”
-said Ada. “Oh, I am not saying anything against it, mamma. I suppose it
-will have to be.”
-
-“Of course it will have to be,” said her mother, “you are all very
-unkind--you girls. Not one of you has exerted herself as I had a right
-to expect. Do you think that I thought of nothing but pleasing myself
-when I married? And who has lost the most in losing Edgar? Well, Gussy,
-you may say, in one way; but I too. What a help he would have been to
-me! so kind and so understanding. Oh, Ada! if you knew how much it goes
-against my heart to shut him out. But it must be; what would your
-father--what would every one say?”
-
-To this, Ada could return but little answer, except to murmur something
-about “leaving it in the hands of Providence,” which was not so
-consolatory to Lady Augusta as it was meant to be.
-
-“It is all very well to say, leave it to Providence!” cried that much
-tried mother, “if you had lived as long as I have, Ada, you would have
-found that all the most inconvenient things that happen in the world
-are said to be brought about by Providence--especially in the way of
-marriages. No, we must take precautions; Gussy must not go near
-Tottenham’s while he is there; and I’ll tell you what I will do. Harry
-is at home doing nothing particular, and probably quarrelling with your
-poor papa, who has so much to vex him. I have just been wondering how
-they could possibly get on with all of us away. I will write and tell
-him to offer himself to your aunt Mary for a visit.”
-
-“Harry! what good will Harry do?” asked Ada, wondering.
-
-“Well, my dear, at least he will be on the spot,” said Lady Augusta; and
-she breathed a long sigh, as if a weight had been taken off her mind.
-Any stop-gap, however imperfect, which takes, or seems to take, a
-responsibility off the mind, is enough to give a sense of relief to one
-so overborne by many businesses as Lady Augusta was. “And now, my dear,
-let us look over Mary’s patterns,” she said, drawing a chair towards
-Ada’s table, on which a mass of samples, of linen, silk, muslin, and
-every other fabric, known to human ingenuity, were lying, ticketed and
-arranged in packets. This was a little bit of pure enjoyment, which
-refreshed the anxious mother in the midst of all her cares.
-
-I need not tell what commotion was made in the household when the news
-crept out and stole secretly from one girl to another, that Edgar had
-come back. Mary and Beatrice put their curly heads together over it, and
-the result was a communication to the young Granton, which effectually
-fortified him against making himself a tool of any of poor Lady
-Augusta’s schemings to get rid of the danger. These two were the
-children of the house, and the elder sisters paid but little attention
-to their innocent conspiracies. The elders were more interesting
-personages than little Mary and Bee, though Mary was a predestined
-marchioness, and there was no knowing what Bee might come to in the way
-of matrimonial elevation. There are people, no doubt, who will think the
-old maid of the family its least interesting member; but you, dear
-unknown friend, my gentle reader, are not of that complexion; and there
-may be others who will feel that Ada’s obscure life was a poor enough
-thing to settle down to, after all the hopes and all the disappointments
-of youth, both of which are more exciting and sustaining than the simple
-monotony of such a commonplace existence. I am not sure, however, for my
-own part, whether Ada’s soft self-renunciation never expressed in words,
-and her constant readiness in trouble, and the numberless frocks she
-made for her poor children--and even her mother’s meetings, though the
-family laughed at them--were half so bewildering an anti-climax to the
-high aspirations of youth as was Helena’s Professor, and the somewhat
-humdrum, if highly intellectual routine into which she had dropped with
-him. Helena, herself now and then, had a confused and giddy
-consciousness that ministering to a man’s comforts, who was not at all a
-demi-god, and attending lectures at the Royal Society was a very odd and
-sudden downfall from all her dreams of social amelioration and “a great
-work;” but fortunately she was happy, a thing which deadens the moral
-perception. Ada was happy, too, in her different way; but Gussy was not
-happy. She had not the tranquil soul of her elder sister, nor that
-curious mixture of sense and talent, and self-confidence and absence of
-humour which made Helena what she was. She had not “given up,” as in
-various ways both of them had done. She was dissatisfied, for life as
-yet had lost none of its possibilities, neither by fulfilment nor
-renunciation. All clouds might yet be cleared away from her sky, and
-what she considered perfect happiness might yet be waiting for her
-somewhere. This remnant of possibility that the soul may still have all
-it craves, ought, you might think, to have kept Gussy’s heart alive, and
-given her a secret support; but it was in fact a very fire of
-restlessness within her. The first step towards attaining the secondary
-happinesses of life, is to have given up and recognised as impossible
-the primary and greater happiness. Gussy had been compelled to occupy
-herself closely, in order to save herself from becoming discontented,
-morbid, sour, and miserable, by reason of this sense within her, that
-everything might yet come right.
-
-“Why should you say it was injudicious?” she said to her sister, when
-they at length discussed the subject, “why should not they help him,
-since he wants it, because of the chance of meeting me? I heard what
-mamma said as I came in. If he does meet me, I dare say he has forgotten
-all about me by this time, or at least remembers me only as a friend.
-It would be hard indeed if any ghost of me, after all these years, were
-to come in his way.”
-
-“And you,” said her sister, “could you meet him as a friend whom you
-remembered? Would that be all?”
-
-Gussy’s lip quivered in spite of herself. “I hope I could do--whatever
-was necessary,” she said proudly. But in the midst of uttering these two
-or three words, a sudden tear fell unexpectedly out of her eye and
-betrayed her. “How silly!” she said, dashing it away; “you forget I did
-see him. Oh, Ada, fancy travelling with him all those hours, and never
-saying a word! It was as if we were in two different worlds--like
-looking into another existence, and seeing those whom one has lost,
-without any power to communicate with them.”
-
-“Ah! but we are not permitted to do even that,” said Ada; “do you think
-he did not recognise you? Not at all? That is so strange to me.”
-
-Gussy shook her head. “I don’t think he did; but you must remember,” she
-said humbly, “that he never was what you might call so very much in love
-with me. He liked me; he was even fond of me--but not exactly in love.
-It is different--I always felt that, even when you all made so sure. And
-what he thinks of me now, I don’t know. If I saw him once, I should be
-able to tell you; but I shall try not to see him. It is best I should
-not see him,” said Gussy very low, “best in every way.”
-
-“My poor child!” said Ada; but she did not contradict her, as her sister
-almost hoped; and Gussy went away immediately after, with her heart
-full, to put on her black cloak and close bonnet, and to go forth into
-some very unsavoury region indeed, where a serene Sister, so smiling and
-cheery that you might be certain her mind was taken up by no possible
-happiness, was hard at work. Gussy had some very disagreeable work
-allotted to her which gave her full occupation till it was time to
-return to “the world,” and as long as she was thus engaged she was able
-to forget all about herself and Edgar, and everything else in the other
-existence. Thus Rag Fair was good for her, and gave her a certain amount
-of strength with which to return to Berkeley Square.
-
-But the reader will perceive that if Edgar’s mind was disturbed by what
-he had heard, a similar, if less violent commotion had been raised, by
-the mere intimation of his return, in the opposite camp, where every
-member of the family instinctively felt the danger, though the young and
-the romantic among them welcomed it as rather an advantage than a peril.
-Gussy went about her ordinary work, whether in “the world” or out of it,
-with a soft perpetual tremor, feeling that at any moment, round any
-corner, she might meet him with whom her youthful thoughts had wandered
-all these years. I will not say that she was not somewhat anxious and
-uncertain as to the effect which this long interval might have had upon
-Edgar’s mind; for women seldom have a very strong faith, unassisted by
-evidence, in the fidelity of a long absent lover; but she had no sense
-of having given love unsought, or shame in her own secret devotion. She
-knew that if Edgar had remained rich and prosperous she would have been
-his wife long ere now, and this gave to Gussy’s maiden love that sweet
-legitimacy and pride of duty which is so much to a woman, and emboldens
-her to give without shame, and with all her heart.
-
-In the meantime, however, Lady Augusta took that other precautionary
-measure which had suddenly occurred to her, to Ada’s great surprise and
-consternation, and sent private orders to her son, Harry--who was at
-that moment under a cloud, and doing his best to act the part of a good
-son to a very irritable father who had just paid his debts for him, and
-was taking them out in abuse of every description at Thornleigh, while
-the mother and sisters were in town. I don’t believe she had the least
-notion what good Harry could do; but it relieved him from a very trying
-ordeal, and the young man jumped at it, though Ada shook her head. “He
-will be on the spot at least, my dear,” said Lady Augusta, all
-unconscious of slang. She explained to her husband that the Tottenhams
-had taken one of their fancies to Mr. Earnshaw, whom they had all once
-known so well as Edgar Arden, and that she thought it would be well that
-one of the family should be there to keep an eye upon him, lest he and
-Gussy should meet. “For you know, Gussy has not been the same since that
-affair,” wrote the careful mother. Mr. Thornleigh, who had a more than
-ordinary contempt at this moment for Harry’s capabilities, wrote her a
-rather rude letter in reply, telling her that she was a fool indeed if
-she trusted in anything her hopeful son could do; but nevertheless, he
-made no objection to the visit. Thus it will be seen how emphatically
-their own doing was all the confusion that followed this momentous step,
-which the Thornleighs all combined in their ignorance to make Harry
-take--and which he accepted as he would have accepted any change, at
-that moment; not having the least idea of what was wanted of him, any
-more than of what fate had in store for him. Lady Augusta went on more
-calmly with her preparations for little Mary’s grand wedding when she
-had thus, to her own satisfaction, secured a representative at
-Tottenham’s. And Ada studied the patterns indefatigably, and gave the
-mother the very best advice as to which was most suitable; and Gussy had
-a perfect carnival of work, and spent almost all her time in Rag
-Fair--with occasional expeditions to the shop, where Mr. Tottenham had
-established a chapel, chiefly to please her, and where one of the
-clergymen attached to the Charity-House kept up daily service. This was
-much more dangerous, had Lady Augusta been aware of the fact, than the
-rural Tottenham’s, where Harry was set to be sentinel without knowing
-it.
-
-And thus the first cold lingering days of spring--spring only in name,
-with all winter’s cold, and less than winter’s comfort, dragged
-themselves along. Only to Lady Augusta, who was busy with the
-trousseau, and little Mary, who was making love, the days were not long
-enough for all that had to be put into them; though the others were of a
-different mind.
-
-
-END OF VOL. I.
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of For love of life; vol. 1 of 2, by Mrs. Margaret Oliphant</div>
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: For love of life; vol. 1 of 2</p>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Mrs. Margaret Oliphant</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 28, 2021 [eBook #65934]</div>
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-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOR LOVE OF LIFE; VOL. 1 OF 2 ***</div>
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" height="500" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"
-style="border:3px double gray;padding:.5em;
-margin:1em auto;max-width:30em;">
-<tr><td class="c">
-<a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_II"> II., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_III"> III., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IV"> IV., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_V"> V., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VI"> VI., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VII"> VII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII"> VIII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IX"> IX., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_X"> X., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XI"> XI., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XII"> XII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIII"> XIII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIV"> XIV., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XV"> XV., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XVI"> XVI., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XVII"> XVII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII"> XVIII., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIX"> XIX., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XX"> XX., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XXI"> XXI., </a>
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XXII"> XXII. </a>
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_1" id="page_1">{1}</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="c">
-COLLECTION<br /><br />
-
-OF<br /><br />
-
-<big>B R I T I S H &nbsp; A U T H O R S</big><br /><br />
-
-TAUCHNITZ EDITION.<br /><br />
-
-VOL. 1419.<br /><br />
-
-FOR LOVE AND LIFE BY MRS. OLIPHANT.<br /><br />
-
-IN TWO VOLUMES.<br /><br />
-
-VOL. I.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_2" id="page_2">{2}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“The device on his shield was a young oak tree pulled up by the roots,
-with the Spanish word <i>Desdichado</i>, signifying Disinherited.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_3" id="page_3">{3}</a></span></p>
-
-<h1>
-FOR LOVE AND LIFE.</h1>
-
-<p class="c">BY<br />
-<br />
-MRS. OLIPHANT,<br />
-<br />
-AUTHOR OF<br /><small>
-“CHRONICLES OF CARLINGFORD,” “OMBRA,” “MAY,” ETC.</small><br />
-<br />
-<i>COPYRIGHT EDITION.</i><br />
-<br />
-I N &nbsp; T W O &nbsp; V O L U M E S.<br />
-<br />
-VOL. I.<br />
-<br />
-<br />
-LEIPZIG<br />
-BERNHARD TAUCHNITZ<br />
-1874.<br />
-<br /><small>
-<i>The Right of Translation is reserved.</i></small><br />
-</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4">{4}</a></span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5">{5}</a></span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p class="c"><big>FOR LOVE AND LIFE.</big></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /><br />
-<small>On the Shores of Loch Arroch.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Three</span> people were walking slowly along together by the side of the
-water. One of them an invalid, as was apparent by the softly measured
-steps of her companions, subdued to keep in harmony with hers. These two
-attendants were both young; the girl about twenty, a little light
-creature, with the golden hair so frequent in Scotland, and a face of
-the angelic kind, half-childish, half-visionary, over-brimming with
-meaning, or almost entirely destitute of it, according to the eyes with
-which you happened to regard her. Both she and the invalid, a handsome
-old woman of about seventy, were well and becomingly dressed in a homely
-way, but they had none of the subtle traces about them which mark the
-“lady” in conventional parlance. They were not in the smallest degree
-what people call “common-looking.” The girl’s beauty and natural grace
-would have distinguished her anywhere, and the old lady was even
-dignified in her bearing. But yet it was plain that they were of a caste
-not the highest. They moved along the narrow path,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6">{6}</a></span> skirting the
-newly-cut stubble, with the air of people entirely at home, amid their
-natural surroundings. The homely farm-house within sight was evidently
-their home. They belonged to the place and the place to them.
-Notwithstanding the angelic face of the one, and the natural stateliness
-of the other, they were farmer folk, of a kind not unusual on that proud
-half-Highland soil. I will not even pretend to say that good blood gave
-a grace to their decayed fortunes; I do not believe their race had ever
-held a more exalted position than it did now. They were independent as
-queens, proud yet open-hearted, sociable, courteous, hospitable,
-possessed of many of the special virtues which ought to belong to the
-nobly born; but they were only farmer folk of Loch Arroch, of a family
-who had lived for ages on that farm, and nothing more.</p>
-
-<p>It would have been unnecessary to dwell on this particular, had not the
-appearance of the young man upon whose arm the invalid leant, been so
-different. As distinctly as they were native to the place, and to the
-position, was he stranger to them. He was not so handsome by nature as
-they, but he had about him all those signs of a man “in good society”
-which it is impossible to define in words, or to mistake in fact. His
-dress was extremely simple, but it was unmistakeably that of a
-gentleman. Not the slightest atom of pretension was in his aspect or
-manner, but his very simplicity was his distinction. The deferential way
-in which he bent his head to hear what his companion was saying, the
-respect he showed to them both, was more<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7">{7}</a></span> than a son or brother in their
-own rank would ever have dreamed of showing. He was kind in all his
-words and looks, even tender; but the ease of familiarity was wanting to
-him; he was in a sphere different from his own. He showed this only by a
-respect infinitely more humble and anxious than any farmer-youth or
-homely young squire would have felt; yet to his own fastidious taste it
-was apparent that he did show it; and the thought made him condemn
-himself. His presence introduced confusion and difficulty into the
-tranquil picture; though there was nothing of the agitation of a lover
-in his aspect. Love makes all things easy; it is agitating, but it is
-tranquillizing. Had he been the lover of the beautiful young creature by
-his side, he would have been set at his ease with her old mother, and
-with the conditions of her lot. Love is itself so novel, so
-revolutionary, such a break-down of all boundaries, that it accepts with
-a certain zest the differences of condition; and all the embarrassments
-of social difference such as trouble the acquaintance, and drive the
-married man wild, become in the intermediate stage of courtship
-delightful auxiliaries, which he embraces with all his heart. But Edgar
-Earnshaw was not pretty Jeanie Murray’s lover. He had a dutiful
-affection for both of the women. Mingled with this was a certain
-reverential respect, mingled with a curious painful sense of wrong, for
-the elder; and a pitying and protecting anxiety about the girl. But
-these sentiments were not love. Therefore he was kind, tender,
-respectful, almost devoted, but not at his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8">{8}</a></span> ease, never one with them;
-in heart as in appearance, there was a difference such as could not be
-put into words.</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot accept it from you,” said old Mrs. Murray, who was the
-grandmother of both. She spoke with a little vehemence, with a
-glimmering of tears in the worn old eyes, which were still so bright and
-full of vital force. She was recovering from an illness, and thus the
-tears came more easily than usual. “Of all that call kin with me, Edgar,
-my bonnie lad, you are the last that should sacrifice your living to
-keep up my auld and weary life. I canna do it. It’s pride, nothing but
-pride, that makes me loth to go away&mdash;loth, loth to eat other folk’s
-bread. But wherefore should I be proud? What should an old woman like me
-desire better than a chair at my ain daughter’s chimney-corner, and a
-share of what she has, poor woman? I say to myself it’s her man’s bread
-I will eat, and no hers; but Robert Campbell will be kind&mdash;enough. He’ll
-no grudge me my morsel. When a woman has been a man’s faithful wife for
-thirty years, surely, surely she has a right to the gear she has helped
-to make. And I’ll no be that useless when I’m weel; there’s many a thing
-about a house that an old woman can do. Na, na, it’s nothing but pride.”</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p>“And what if I had my pride too?” he asked. “My dear old mother, it goes
-against me to think of you as anywhere but at Loch Arroch. Mr. Campbell
-is an excellent man, I have no doubt,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9">{9}</a></span> and kind&mdash;enough, as you say; and
-his wife very good and excellent&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You might say your aunt, Edgar,” said the old lady, with a
-half-reproach.</p>
-
-<p>He winced, though almost imperceptibly.</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” he said with a smile, “my aunt, if you prefer it. One thing I
-don’t like about you proud people is, that you never make allowance for
-other people’s pride. Mine demands that my old mother should be
-independent in her own old house; that she should have her pet companion
-with her to nurse her and care for her.” Here he laid his hand kindly,
-with a light momentary touch, upon the girl’s shoulder, who looked up at
-him with wistful tender eyes. “That she should keep her old servants,
-and continue to be the noble old lady she is&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Na, na, Edgar; no lady. You must not use such a word to me. No, my
-bonnie man; you must not deceive yourself. It’s hard, hard upon you, and
-God forgive me for all I have done to make my good lad unhappy! We are
-decent folk, Edgar, from father to son, from mother to daughter; but I’m
-no a lady; an old country wife, nothing more&mdash;though you are a
-gentleman.”</p>
-
-<p>“We will not dispute about words,” said Edgar, with a shrug of his
-shoulders. “What would become of Jeanie, grandmother, if you went to
-your daughter, as you say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” cried the old woman, pausing suddenly, and raising both her hands
-to her face, “that’s what I canna bear&mdash;I canna bear it! Though I
-must,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10">{10}</a></span>” she added hurriedly, drying her eyes, “if it’s God’s will.”</p>
-
-<p>“I would go to my uncle in Glasgow,” said Jeanie; “he’s not an ill man.
-They would take me in if I was destitute; that’s what they aye said.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you were destitute!” cried Edgar. “My poor little Jeanie destitute,
-and you, my old mother, eating the bread of dependence, watching a
-coarse man’s look to see if you are welcome or not! Impossible! I have
-arranged everything. There is enough to keep you both comfortable
-here&mdash;not luxuriously, as I should wish; not with the comfort and the
-prettiness I should like to spread round you two; but yet enough. Now
-listen, grandmother. You must yield to me or to some one else; to me or
-to&mdash;Mr. Campbell. I think I have the best right.”</p>
-
-<p>“He has the best right,” said little Jeanie, looking in her
-grandmother’s face. “Oh, granny, he would like to be good to you and
-me!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I should like to be good to you,” said Edgar, turning to the girl
-gratefully. “That is the truth. It is the highest pleasure you could
-give me.”</p>
-
-<p>“To heap coals of fire,” said the old woman in her deep voice.</p>
-
-<p>“I know nothing about coals,” said Edgar, laughing; “they should be more
-in Mr. Campbell’s way, who trafficks in them. Come, Jeanie, we must take
-her in, the wind grows cold. I shall go off to Loch Arroch Head to get
-the newspaper when the boat comes, and you must persuade her in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11">{11}</a></span>
-meantime. You are my representative. I leave it all to you.”</p>
-
-<p>A flush ran over Jeanie’s angelic little countenance. She looked at him
-with eyes full of an adoring admiration as he led the old woman
-carefully to the door of the farm-house. He patted her pretty shoulder
-as she followed, looking kindly at her.</p>
-
-<p>“Take care of the old mother, Jeanie,” he said, smiling. “I make you my
-representative.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor little innocent Jeanie! There was no one like him in all her
-sphere. She knew no other who spoke so softly, who looked so kindly, who
-was so thoughtful of others, so little occupied with himself. Her little
-heart swelled as she went into the low, quaint room with its small
-windows, where the grandmother had already seated herself. To be the
-parlour of a farm-house, it was a pretty room. The walls were greenish;
-the light that came in through foliage which overshadowed the small
-panes in the small windows was greenish too; but there were book-cases
-in the corners, and books upon the table, for use, not ornament, and an
-air of wellworn comfort and old respectability were about the place. It
-was curiously irregular in form; two windows in the front looked out
-upon the loch and the mountains, a prospect which a prince might have
-envied; and one on the opposite side of the fire-place, in the gable end
-of the house, in a deep recess, looked straight into the ivied walls of
-the ruin which furnished so many stories to Loch Arroch. This window was
-almost blocked up by a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12">{12}</a></span> vast fuchsia, which still waved its long flexile
-branches in the air laden with crimson bells. In front of the house
-stood a great ash, dear northern tree which does not disdain the rains
-and winds. Its sweeping boughs stood out against the huge hill opposite,
-which was the background of the whole landscape. The blue water gleamed
-and shone beneath that natural canopy. Mrs. Murray’s large high-backed
-easy-chair was placed by the side of the fire, so that she had full
-command of the view. The gable window with its fuchsia bush was behind
-her. Never, except for a few months, during her whole seventy years of
-life, had she been out of sight of that hill. She seated herself in the
-stillness of age, and looked out wistfully upon the familiar scene. Day
-by day through all her lifetime, across her own homely table with its
-crimson cover, across the book she was reading or the stocking she was
-knitting, under the green arch of the ash-branches, she had seen the
-water break, sometimes with foaming wrath, sometimes quietly as a summer
-brook, upon the huge foot of that giant hill. Was this now to be over?
-The noiseless tears of old age came into her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll aye have the sky, Jeanie, wherever we go,” she said, softly; “and
-before long, before long, the gates of gold will have to open for me.”</p>
-
-<p>“But no for me,” said Jeanie, seating herself on a stool by her
-grandmother’s side. The little girlish face was flashing and shining
-with some illumination more subtle than that of the firelight. “We canna
-die when we will, Granny, you’ve often said that;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13">{13}</a></span> and sometimes,” the
-girl added shyly, “we might not wish if we would.”</p>
-
-<p>This brought the old woman back from her momentary reverie.</p>
-
-<p>“God forbid!” she cried, putting her hand on Jeanie’s golden locks;
-“though Heaven will scarce be Heaven without you, Jeanie. God forbid!
-No, my bonnie lamb, I have plenty there without you. There’s your
-father, and <i>his</i> mother, and my ain little angel Jeanie with the gold
-locks like you &mdash;&mdash; her that I have told you of so often. She was younger
-than you are, just beginning to be a blessing and a comfort, when, you
-mind?&mdash;oh, so often as I have told you!&mdash;on the Saturday after the new
-year&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I mind,” said Jeanie softly, holding the withered hand in both of hers;
-“but, granny, even you, though you’re old, you cannot make sure that
-you’ll die when you want to die.”</p>
-
-<p>“No; more’s the pity; though it’s a thankless thing&mdash;a thankless thing
-to say.”</p>
-
-<p>“You canna die when you will,” repeated Jeanie. “Wasna your father
-ninety, granny, and Aunty Jean a hundred? Granny, listen to me. You must
-do what <i>he</i> says.”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>He</i>, Jeanie?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ay, he. I might say his name if there were two like him in the world,”
-said Jeanie, with enthusiasm. “It’s your pride that will not let him
-serve you as he says. It would make him happy. I saw it in his kind
-e’en. I was watching him while he was speaking to you. It was like the
-light and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14">{14}</a></span> shadows over Benvohrlan. The brightness glinted up when
-he spoke, and when you said ‘No,’ granny, the cloud came over. Oh, how
-could you set your face against him? The only one of us a’ (you say) you
-ever did an ill turn to; and him the only one to bring you back good,
-and comfort, and succour.”</p>
-
-<p>“Jeanie, you must not blame the rest,” said the old woman. “They have no
-siller to give me. They would take me into their houses. What more could
-they do? No, Jeanie; you may be just to him, and yet no cruel to them.
-Besides, poor lad,” said Mrs. Murray with a sigh, “he has a rich man’s
-ways, though he’s rich no more.”</p>
-
-<p>“He has the kindest ways in all the world,” cried Jeanie. “Granny,
-you’ll do what he says.”</p>
-
-<p>The old woman leant back in her chair, crossing her thin hands in her
-lap; her musing eyes sought the hills outside and the gleam of the
-water, her old, old counsellors, not the anxious face of the child at
-her feet. She was but a farmer’s wife, a farmer herself, a lowly, homely
-woman; but many a princess was less proud. She sat and looked at the
-blue loch, and thought of the long succession of years in which she had
-reigned as a queen in this humble house, a centre of beneficence, giving
-to all. She had never shut her heart against the cry of the poor, she
-who was poor herself; she had brought up children, she had entertained
-strangers, she had done all that reigning princesses could do. For forty
-years all who had any claim on her kindness had come to her
-unhesitatingly in every strait. Silver<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15">{15}</a></span> and gold she had little, but
-everything else she gave, the shelter of her house, her best efforts,
-her ready counsel, her unfailing help. All this she had bestowed
-munificently in her day; and now&mdash;had she come to the point when she
-must confess that her day was over, when she must retire from her place,
-giving way to others, and become dependent&mdash;she who had always been the
-head of her house? I do not say that the feelings in the mind of this
-old Sovereign about to be dethroned were entirely without admixture of
-ignoble sentiment. It went to her heart to be dethroned. She said to
-herself, with a proud attempt at philosophy, that it was the natural
-fate, and that everything was as it ought to be. She tried to persuade
-herself that a chair in the chimney-corner was all the world had
-henceforth for her, and that her daughter and her daughter’s husband
-would be kind&mdash;enough. But it went to her heart. She was making up her
-mind to it as men make up their minds to martyrdom; and the effort was
-bitter. I do not know whether it ever occurred to her painfully that she
-herself, had she been in the fulness of her powers, would never have
-suffered her old mother to be driven from that homely roof which she
-loved&mdash;or if something whispered in her soul that she had done better by
-her children than they were doing by her; but if such thoughts arose in
-her mind, she dismissed them unembodied, with an exercise of her will,
-which was as proud as it was strong. Her very pride prevented her from
-assuming even to herself the appearance of a victim. “It is but the
-natural end,” she said, stoically, trying to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16">{16}</a></span> look her trouble in the
-face. She was ready to accept it as the inevitable, rather than own to
-herself that her children failed in their duty&mdash;rather than feel, much
-less admit, that she had expected more of them than they were willing to
-give.</p>
-
-<p>The cause of this deep but undisclosed pain was, that things had been
-going badly for some time with the Castle Farm. Mrs. Murray herself was
-growing old, and less strong than is necessary for a farmer, and she had
-been absent for some time, a few years before, an absence which had
-wrought much trouble in the homestead. These misfortunes had been
-complicated, as was inevitable, by one or two cold springs and wet
-autumns. It was October now, and the harvest was but accomplishing
-itself slowly even on the level fields on the loch side. The higher
-lying acres of corn land still lay in sickly yellow patches on the braes
-behind the house, half-ripened, damp and sprouting, sodden with many a
-rain-storm; a great part of the corn would be fit for nothing but
-fodder, and what remained for the woman-farmer, unable to cope with
-these difficulties as she once had done, before strength and courage
-failed&mdash;what remained for her to do? She had made up her mind to abandon
-the old house she loved&mdash;to sell all her belongings, the soft-eyed cows
-whom she called by their names, and who came at her call like
-children&mdash;and the standing crops, the farm implements, even her old
-furniture, to denude herself of everything, and pay her debts, and
-commit the end of her life to Providence. This had been the state of
-affairs when<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17">{17}</a></span> she fell ill, and Edgar Earnshaw was summoned to come to
-her, to receive her blessing and farewell. But then, in contradiction to
-all her wishes, to all that was seemly and becoming, she did not die.
-When she knew she was to get better, the old woman broke forth into
-complainings such as had never been heard from her lips in her worst
-moments. “To lead me forth so far on the way, and then to send me back
-when the worst was over&mdash;me that must make the journey so soon, that
-must begin all over again, maybe the morn!” she cried, with bitter tears
-in her eyes. But Heaven’s decree is inexorable, whether it be for life
-or death, and she had to consent to recover. It was then that Edgar, her
-grandson, had made the proposal to settle upon her a little income which
-he possessed, and which would secure her a peaceful end to her days in
-her old home. That he should do this had filled her with poignant
-emotions of joy and shame. The only one of her kith and kin whom she had
-wronged, and he was the one to make her this amends. If she accepted it,
-she would retain all that she desired&mdash;everything that was personally
-important to her in this life. But she would denude him of his living.
-He was young, learned (as she thought), accomplished (as she thought),
-able “to put his hand to anything,” doubtless able to earn a great deal
-more than that, did he choose to try. It might even be for his
-advantage, as he said, to have the spur of necessity to force him into
-exertion. All this was mingled together in her mind, the noble and
-generous feeling<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18">{18}</a></span> that would rather suffer than harm another, rather die
-than blame, mixed with sharp stings of pride and some sophistries of
-argument by which she tried to persuade herself against her conscience
-to do what she wished. The struggle was going on hotly, as she sat by
-her homely fireside and gazed out at the loch, and the shadow of the big
-ash, which seemed to shadow over all Benvohrlan; things which are close
-at hand are so much bigger and more imposing than things afar.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19">{19}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /><br />
-<small>Edgar.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Edgar</span> set off on a brisk walk up the loch when he parted from the two
-women at the door of the farmhouse. The previous history of this young
-man had been an extraordinary one, and has had its record elsewhere; but
-as it is not to be expected that any&mdash;even the gentlest reader&mdash;could
-remember a story told them several years ago, I will briefly
-recapitulate its chief incidents. Till he was five-and-twenty, this
-young man had known himself only as the heir of a great estate, and of
-an old and honourable name, and for some few months he had been in
-actual possession of all the honours he believed his own. He was a great
-English squire, one of the most important men in his district, with an
-only sister, to whom he was deeply attached, and no drawback in his life
-except the mysterious fact, which no longer affected him except as a
-painful recollection, that his father, during his lifetime, had banished
-him from his home, and apparently regarded him with a sentiment more
-like hatred than affection. But Clare his sister loved him, and Edgar,
-on coming to his fortune, had begun to form friendships and attachments
-of his own, and had been drawn gently and pleasantly&mdash;not fallen wildly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20">{20}</a></span>
-and vehemently&mdash;into love with the daughter of one of his near
-neighbours, Augusta (better known as Gussy) Thornleigh, whom he was on
-the very eve of asking to be his wife, when his whole existence, name,
-and identity were suddenly altered by the discovery that he was an
-innocent impostor, and had no right to any of the good things he
-enjoyed. I do not attempt to repeat any description of the change thus
-made, for it was beyond description&mdash;terrible, complete, and
-overwhelming. It plunged him out of wealth and honours into indigence
-and shame&mdash;shame not merited, but yet clinging to the victim of a
-long-continued deception. It not only took from him all his hopes, but
-it embittered his very recollections. He lost past, and present, and
-future, all at a blow. His identity, and all the outward apparel of life
-by which he had known himself, were taken from him. Not only was the
-girl whom he loved hopelessly lost to him, but she who had been his
-sister, his only relative, as he supposed, and his dearest companion,
-became nothing to him&mdash;a stranger, and worse than a stranger&mdash;for the
-man whom she loved and married was his enemy. And in place of these
-familiar figures, there came a crowd of shadows round him who were his
-real relations, his unknown family, to whom, and not to the Ardens, he
-now belonged. This fatal and wonderful change was made all the harder to
-him from the fact that he was thus transplanted into an altogether lower
-level, and that his new family was little elevated above the class from
-which he had been in the habit of drawing his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21">{21}</a></span> servants, not his
-friends. Their habits, their modes of speech, their ways of thinking,
-were all strange to him. It is true that he accommodated himself readily
-to these differences, as exhibited in the old grandmother whom I have
-just presented to the reader, and the gentle, soft-voiced, poetic
-Jeanie; but with the other members of his new family, poor Edgar had
-felt all his powers of self-control fail him. Their presence, their
-contact, their familiarity, and the undeniable fact that it was to them
-and their sphere that he actually belonged was terrible to the young
-man, who, in his better days, had not known what pride meant. Life is in
-reality so much the same in all classes that no doubt he would have come
-to perceive the identity of substance notwithstanding the difference of
-form, had he not been cast so suddenly into this other phase of
-existence without preparation, without anything to break the fall; but
-as it was, he had no preparation, and the blow went to his heart.</p>
-
-<p>This fall had taken place nearly three years before the time at which
-this story opens, and poor Edgar, stunned by his overthrow, repelled by
-his new relatives, vaguely wretched, notwithstanding the stoutness of
-heart with which he had braced himself to meet calamity, had done but
-little with his life for these two years. A small provision had been
-secured for him from his successor in the estates of Arden, the rightful
-heir whom he had unwittingly wronged, and to whom he did instant justice
-as soon as he heard of the wrong; and this little provision had been
-augmented by the small<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22">{22}</a></span> property of the Rector of Arden, Mr. Fielding,
-who had left him everything he possessed. He had thus enough to support
-him, that most dangerous of all endowments for a young man. Poor fellow!
-he had made his sacrifice with great bravery, and had wrenched himself
-away from all he cared for with the smile of a hero, neither sinking
-under the blow, nor exaggerating its force. “Courage!” he had said to
-himself, when he lost the place where he had been lord and master, and
-went forth poor, humble, and nameless, to face the world. He meant
-nothing less than to make a new life for himself better than the last,
-to assert the superiority of a guiltless heart and free conscience over
-fate. But, alas, it is so easy to do this in the general, so difficult
-in detail! “We will make our lives sublime,” says the poet, with such
-cheap magniloquence&mdash;and how many an enthusiast youth has delighted
-himself with the thought!</p>
-
-<p>Edgar was a very sensible, reasonable young fellow, but yet it was a
-consolation to him, in his sudden fall, to reflect that every man may
-conquer circumstances, and that will and energy are better than riches.
-He had dreamt of “doing something,” if not to make himself known and
-famous, at least to be of use in this life to his fellow-creatures and
-to himself. He meant it firmly up to the day when he left everything he
-knew or cared for, and he meant it the next day, and the day after, and
-even the next year; but up to this moment he had done nothing. For after
-all what was there to do?</p>
-
-<p>Young Paladins cannot kill fiery dragons, cannot<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23">{23}</a></span> meet giants in single
-combat, cannot deliver a whole district now-a-days by the stroke of a
-sword. To be sure, a man whose tastes lie that way may tackle the giant,
-Sewage, or attack the dragon, Ignorance; but that is slow work, seldom
-of a primitive, straightforward kind, and leading the fighter into many
-entanglements, dubious company, and very uncertain results. So the
-consequence was that poor Edgar meaning to do much, did nothing&mdash;not
-because he loved idleness, but because he did not know what to do. He
-wandered off abroad very soon disgusted with everything; with his
-downfall and his inability to surmount that downfall; with the meanness
-of estimating worth by rank and wealth, and the still greater meanness
-of his own incapacity to get quite free from that standard, which, so
-long as he was himself rich and great, he had disowned manfully.
-Cheerily he had laughed at the frivolity of the young men of fashion
-surrounding him when he was as they, but his laugh now had a certain
-bitterness, and he felt himself turn with a sickening of the heart from
-intercourse with a lower class, and then deeply and bitterly despised
-himself for this ignoble sentiment. His state of mind, indeed, though
-strange and miserable to himself, was no more than was natural and to be
-looked for in a man forcibly transplanted from the place of his natural
-growth, and from all the habits and traditions of his previous life.</p>
-
-<p>Therefore, these three years had been a failure with Edgar. He had done
-nothing with them, he who had gone out of his old existence firmly
-de<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24">{24}</a></span>termined to do so much. He had wandered about over the face of the
-earth, to and fro, an unquiet spirit&mdash;but no good had come from any of
-his wanderings. He could not help being kind and charitable; it was no
-virtue on his part, but “just a carnal inclination;” and except this
-inevitable goodness, which was an affair of temperament, nothing had
-come of him, nothing had come from him, in these years.</p>
-
-<p>Thus, probably, he would have continued, if not always, until weariness
-had come on, and his vital strength was broken. He would have become,
-without vice, one of the thousand English vagabonds of quality who haunt
-every thoroughfare in Europe; and what a downfall would this have been
-for Edgar!&mdash;a greater downfall even than that which circumstances had
-brought upon him. The sudden summons which had brought him to Mrs.
-Murray’s sick-bed, the sudden call upon his charity, so
-characteristically adapted to move him, arrested him in the painful
-insignificance of this career. He had resolved to make the sacrifice
-which was involved, before it even occurred to him how much that
-sacrifice would involve; for he was of that species of humankind which,
-bestowing help and succour does first and considers afterwards. It cost
-him no struggle, no conflict with himself, to decide that everything he
-had must go at once to the aid of his mother’s mother, to her
-preservation in comfort&mdash;notwithstanding that she had wronged him, and
-that the tragic confusion and aimlessness of his life was her fault. He
-had taken all the steps at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25">{25}</a></span> once which were necessary to carry out this
-transfer, and it was only now, when he had fully resolved upon it, that
-the cost to himself occurred to him. He counted that cost as he walked,
-stepping out as if he trod on air to the head of the loch.</p>
-
-<p>What would it cost him? It would take away all his certain living, every
-penny he had; it would force him to work one way or another in order to
-maintain himself. After his brief experience of wealth and its ways, and
-after the vague and unsatisfactory existence which he had led when he
-had just “enough to live on,” he must make a fresh start again, like any
-country lad setting forth to seek his fortune. The third start, he said
-to himself, with a certain rueful amusement; for Edgar was one of those
-who could laugh at his own misfortunes. I cannot tell how it was that
-this prospect did not discourage him, but certainly it did not; a
-certain exhilaration crept into his soul as he faced the wind, walking
-fast with joyous defiance. The third time of beginning must be lucky at
-last; was it not a mystical number, acknowledged by the very children in
-their games? He had heard an urchin assuring another that very morning
-that “the third ca’ was canny.” It was poor Edgar’s third trial. The
-first time he had been foiled by no fault of his&mdash;by arbitrary
-circumstances. The second time he had foiled himself by want of purpose,
-absence of anything direct to do, and languor of motive for attempting
-anything. But the third ca’ would be canny&mdash;nature and necessity would
-help him. He would be driven to work by infallible potency of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26">{26}</a></span> need, and
-he would make something of it; so he said to himself.</p>
-
-<p>There was something exhilarating in the day, or else he thought so. The
-high wind was of itself a blessing after days of that weary rain, which
-is so common in the west of Scotland. The damp corn out on the fields,
-the still damper corn which stood in faint whiteness upon the hillside
-was shaking off some part of its superabundant moisture in the cheerful
-breeze. The white clouds were scudding over the mountains, throwing a
-poetic and perpetual interchange of light and shade over those silent
-spectators who occupied so large a share in the landscape, and whose
-sudden glories and brightness gave a human aspect to their everlasting
-strength. The deep blue of the distance, deep, and dark, and dreamy,
-against the open of the lighter sky; the thousand soft tones of purple,
-of grey, of brown, and soft green; the whiteness of a sudden peak
-starting into sunshine; the dark unfathomable depth of water, across
-which a sudden shadow would fall dramatically like an event, made even
-the silent country a partaker in the commotion which filled the young
-man’s mind.</p>
-
-<p>In this dramatic tumult of the elements, there was no knoll, no hollow,
-no tree, which had not its share. And in the midst of the animated
-scene, a sudden rush of alien sound, the rustle and sputter and
-commotion of the little steamer fretting its busy, fussy way to the head
-of the loch, which was the chief medium of communication with the
-outside world, struck upon Edgar’s ear with not un<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27">{27}</a></span>pleasant discord. It
-was work, it was life, it was the labour by which a man could live and
-serve his generation, that was embodied to him in this little noisy
-interruption which he had so often condemned as alien to the scene. Yes,
-it was alien to the scene. But to be reminded of the world without, of
-the noise, and movement, and high-pressure of life, was pleasant to
-Edgar at this moment of his existence; it helped to stimulate the thrill
-of new energy which seemed to be rising in his heart.</p>
-
-<p>There was, however, a motive less elevated which, I am bound to admit,
-affected the young man in his toleration of the steamer and its discord.
-He was eager to get away from Loch Arroch back into the world, where, at
-least, he would escape from the contemplation of that contrast between
-his present and his past, which was forced upon him here. All the
-confusion of his life, its conflicts between the sentiments which he
-felt he ought to entertain and those which, in spite of him, came
-uppermost in his mind, were kept painfully and constantly before his
-eyes. Every detail of the homely farmhouse existence brought them before
-him. The chief sting in all this was his vexation with himself for
-feeling these details to be of importance. Had he retained his original
-position, so little affected was he really by external circumstances,
-that I believe he would have found the life at the Castle Farm
-infinitely more reasonable, sensible, and natural than that which, as a
-man of fortune and fashion, he would himself have been compelled to
-lead, The simple fare, the plain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28">{28}</a></span> rooms, the absence of luxuries, and
-even some of those everyday luxuries which we call comforts, did not
-really distress him; it was the sense of missing them, the quick and
-vivid consciousness of this and that a-wanting, which made the young man
-sore, and bitter, and ashamed of himself. And he felt in his heart that
-everything would be easier to him when he could but get away. I must
-add, however, that Edgar never showed his consciousness of the change of
-sphere to others, deeply as he felt it. The farmhouse servant, and
-little Jeanie, and even old Mrs. Murray herself, who had more insight,
-considered him much more “easy to please” than any other man of the
-kindred. “He gives just nae trouble,” Bell said, “and aye a ‘thank you,
-Bell,’ for every hand’s turn I do for him. Eh! when it’s Johnnie
-Campbell that’s i’ the house, ye can see the difference. It’s Bell here,
-and Bell there, like as I had nothing a do but wait upon him. But it’s a
-pleasure to serve Mr. Edgar, night or day.”</p>
-
-<p>This was the testimony of one very clear-sighted witness; and even Mrs.
-Murray concluded, with a relief which it would have been impossible to
-put into words, that the change had passed lightly over her grandson’s
-head without affecting him. “He has one of those blessed natures that
-are aye content, and take everything easy from the hand of God,” she
-said to herself, with a mixture of joy and disappointment; for this
-blessed nature, blessed as it is, is secretly looked down upon by
-persons conscious of more acute feeling. I believe my good Edgar had
-thus something in his character of what<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29">{29}</a></span> is commonly called humbug. He
-deceived people as to his own feelings by very consideration for their
-feelings. It was so absolutely indispensable to his being to set his
-companions at their ease, and make them comfortable so far as he could,
-that he took them in habitually, to use another vulgar expression, and
-was believed by everybody to be as happy as the day was long at Loch
-Arroch, while all the while he was secretly longing to get away. I
-believe that in some respects this kind of nature (not a very common
-one) is less good, being less honest, than that more general disposition
-which, when uncomfortable or dissatisfied itself, loses no opportunity
-of making others so, and states its sentiments frankly, whether they are
-likely to please its companions or not. I allow that Edgar’s special
-peculiarities had their disadvantages. I do not attempt to excuse him, I
-only state what they were.</p>
-
-<p>Just as he came in sight of Loch Arroch head&mdash;the village which, seated
-at the extremity of the loch, was the post town and general centre of
-the district&mdash;Edgar was joined by Robert Campbell, the husband of his
-eldest aunt, a man to whom he was expected to give the title of uncle,
-and who regarded him with a mingled feeling of rough amity, respect
-(for, was he not independent, with an income of his own, and able to
-live like a gentleman?), and conscientious conviction that something
-might be got out of him. He was a land-agent, in not a very great way, a
-factor for some of the less important land-owners of the district, a man
-not without education and information in his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30">{30}</a></span> way, with considerable
-practical knowledge of law, and still greater of agriculture, racy of
-the soil, the sort of person whom a great landed proprietor from
-England, such as poor Edgar had been a few years before, would have
-appreciated mightily, and quoted for months after their meeting. But to
-enjoy the shrewdness and profit by the conversation of such an
-individual, when you are elevated a whole world above him,&mdash;and to take
-him into your heart as one of your own relatives, are very different
-things. Edgar shrank with a whimsical sense of moral cowardice as he saw
-this personage approaching. He laughed ruefully at himself. “Oh, why are
-uncles made so coarse, and nephews made so fine?” he said. But to see
-the fun of a situation does not always enable you to bear it with
-equanimity. He would have been very glad to get out of Robert Campbell’s
-way had that been possible; but as it was not possible he did his best
-to meet him with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>“How’s the auld leddy the day?” said Campbell, stretching out a huge
-hand to grasp Edgar’s; “living, and like to live, I’ll be bound. We
-maunna grumble, for she’s given an aixcellent constitution to her
-descendants, of which my lad is one as well as you. But, puir body, if
-it had been the Almighty’s will&mdash;lang life’s a grand thing when you’re
-well provided for,” Mr. Campbell concluded, with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“I hope none of her descendants will grudge her the little she wants,”
-Edgar began&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“Saftly, saftly, my man! nobody grudges her the little she wants. The
-difficulty is, wha’s to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31">{31}</a></span> provide that little,” said Campbell. “We’re all
-decently well off in one sense, with no scrimping of meal or milk and a
-good suit of black for a Sunday or a funeral, and a silk gown for the
-wife. But to keep up a farm upon our joint contributions, as I hear is
-what you’re thinking of&mdash;a farm, the chanciest thing in creation!&mdash;I
-allow I canna see my way to that. Excuse me, Mr. Edgar, for speaking my
-mind, but you’re young, and your notions are too grand for the like of
-us&mdash;I’m no saying it’s your fault. We maun cut our coat according to our
-cloth. I’m no fond of relations in the house; but she’s a harmless body,
-and I’ll stretch a point for once: and John Bryce, in Sauchiehall St.,
-will take Jeanie. He’s a man in a very decent way of business, and I’ve
-no doubt he could make her useful in the shop.”</p>
-
-<p>“But cannot you see,” cried Edgar, with a start and sudden wince,
-interrupting him, “that my poor old grandmother would be wretched
-without Jeanie? And Jeanie herself is too delicate a creature for any
-such life. They must stay together. Surely, surely,” cried the young
-man, “when she is helpless who has done so much for everybody, it is not
-too much that we should provide for something beyond her mere
-existence&mdash;her happiness as well.”</p>
-
-<p>Campbell had watched him very closely while he made this speech. The
-generous feeling with which he spoke brought the colour to Edgar’s
-cheek; he was unsuspicious of the meaning of the close scrutiny to which
-he was thus subjected, and made no effort to conceal this glow of
-natural emotion.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32">{32}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“If it’s Jeanie you’re meaning,” said Campbell, with a laugh and
-significant look, “no doubt there are other arrangements that might be
-thought of; and a good man’s aye the best thing, especially when he has
-enough to live on. If that’s your thought, my lad, I am not the one to
-say you nay.”</p>
-
-<p>“If what is my thought?” said Edgar, bewildered.</p>
-
-<p>I do not think the idea had ever occurred to him before, and I cannot
-describe the thrill of wounded pride with which he received this shock.
-Jeanie! A child&mdash;a creature altogether out of his sphere. Jeanie! with
-her pretty peasant manners, and poetic homely dialect, a little girl
-whom he could be kind to, as he would be kind to the maid who milked the
-cows, or the child who ran his errands! In all the course of the three
-painful years that were past, I do not think Edgar had received any such
-cutting and sudden blow. He realized all his own humiliation when he saw
-himself placed in the imagination of the neighbourhood by little
-Jeanie’s side&mdash;her cousin, her often companion, her so-possible wooer!
-The thought stiffened him up all at once to stone. He forgot even his
-usual consideration for the feelings of others.</p>
-
-<p>“I have no thought of any kind in respect to Jeanie,” he said, coldly,
-“except in so far as concerns my grandmother. The two ought not to be
-separated. I cannot indeed allow them to be separated,” he added, still
-more proudly. “I have a little money, as you know, and if nobody else
-will do it, I must do it. I will make over to my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33">{33}</a></span> grandmother my little
-income, such as it is. She can live and keep her favourite with her, if
-she has that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Your&mdash;income!” Mr. Campbell could scarcely gasp out the words, so
-breathless was he and dumb-foundered. “Your&mdash;income! And what will you
-do yoursel’? But you mean an allowance; that’s a different matter,” he
-added, recovering himself. “You’ll give in proportion to what the rest
-of us give? Ay, ay. I can understand that.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34">{34}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.<br /><br />
-<small>Jeanie.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Edgar</span> did not come home till the evening was considerably advanced. He
-went with Campbell to his house, and partook of the substantial family
-tea in the best parlour, which Mrs. Campbell, his aunt, called the
-drawing-room&mdash;so that it was late before he returned home.</p>
-
-<p>“There’s a moon,” Campbell said. “Ye need be in no hurry. A young fellow
-in certain states of mind, as we a’ know, takes to moonlight walks like
-a duck to the water.”</p>
-
-<p>At which speech Mrs. Campbell laughed, being evidently in the secret;
-but John, the only son, who was a student at the University of Glasgow,
-and just about to set out for the winter session, looked black and
-fierce as any mountain storm. These inferences of some supposed
-sentiment, which he was totally ignorant of, might have passed quite
-innocuously over Edgar only a day before, but they filled him now with
-suppressed rage and deep mortification. Perhaps unreasonably; but there
-is nothing which a man resents so much as to be supposed “in love” with
-some one whom he considers beneath him. Even when there is truth in the
-supposition, he resents the discovery which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35">{35}</a></span> brings all the
-inappropriateness of the conjunction before his mind; and if there is no
-truth in it, he feels himself injured in the tenderest point&mdash;ill-used,
-humbled, wronged. Edgar’s impulse was to leave the house where he was
-thus insulted by inference; but partly pride, partly his usual deference
-to other people’s feelings, and partly the necessity which was now
-stronger than ever of carrying out his intentions and leaving the place
-where he was subject to such an insane suggestion triumphed over his
-first impulse.</p>
-
-<p>Even Campbell was staggered in his vulgar notion that only Jeanie and
-her fresh beauty could account for the young man’s prolonged stay and
-unusual devotion, when he began to perceive the munificence of Edgar’s
-intentions. A young man who wanted to marry might indeed be guilty of a
-great many foolishnesses; he might be ready, Mr. Campbell thought, to
-burden himself with the old mother for the sake of the pretty child; but
-to alienate a portion of his income (for Edgar did not enter fully into
-his plan) was a totally different and quite impossible sort of
-sacrifice. What could be his motive? Was it that Jeanie might be
-educated and made a lady of before he should marry her? As for pure duty
-towards the old mother, honour of her long and virtuous life, compassion
-for the downfall of so proud a spirit, being motives strong enough for
-such a sacrifice, at this the worthy man guffawed loudly.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m no the man to be taken in with fine words,” he said, with a broad
-smile.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36">{36}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>While these jokes and discussions were going on in the best parlour at
-Loch Arroch Head, Jeanie, unconscious of any debate in which her name
-could be involved, went about her usual occupations at home. She got the
-tea ready, coming and going with soft steps from the parlour to the
-kitchen, carrying in the tray, and “masking” the tea with her own hands.
-As for Bell, she was “suppering” the kye, and looking after the outdoor
-work, and had no time for such daintier service. Jeanie would steal a
-moment now and then, while she prepared this simple meal, to step
-noiselessly to the ever open door, and cast a wistful look up the
-loch-side to see “if he was coming.” The gloaming grew darker and
-darker, the stars came out over the hill, the moon rose, and still
-Jeanie strained her eyes to see if any figure approached on the long
-line of almost level road by the side of the loch. Once her heart leaped
-up, thinking she saw him; but it was only a shearer taking his way home
-from the West Park, where, taking advantage of a good day, the harvest
-had gone on as long as the light permitted. Poor Jeanie! what a
-difference there was between this heavy rustic form as it drew near,
-relieved against the dark yet gleaming water of the loch, and the erect,
-light-footed, elastic figure she looked for! As she washed the old china
-cups brought out in his honour, and put the tea-things away, she
-wondered with a pang in her kind little heart what could have kept him?
-Had he met some of his grand friends, sportsmen arriving by the boat, or
-those tourists whom the natives looked<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37">{37}</a></span> upon with mingled admiration and
-scorn? or could any accident have happened? a thought which blanched her
-pretty cheek with fear.</p>
-
-<p>She would have liked to talk to her grandmother about Edgar, but she did
-not venture to do more than wonder “what could be keeping him?” a
-question to which Mrs. Murray responded placidly that no doubt he was
-“drinking tea” with somebody at Loch Arroch Head. The old lady was not
-discomposed by Edgar’s absence as Jeanie was; and poor Jeanie, in the
-flutter and warmth of her feelings, could have cried with vexation at
-the contrast between her own agitated heart and this calm, which she
-thought indifference. Her grandmother “did not care.” “Oh, how could she
-help caring, and him so good to her!” poor Jeanie said to herself. And
-Bell went about her work out of doors, cheerily singing, in her full
-rustic voice, as she prepared the supper for the kye, and carried it out
-to the byre, coming and going in her strong shoes, with clink of pails,
-and loud talking now and then to Sandy, who was helping. Nobody cared
-but Jeanie that he was so late of coming home.</p>
-
-<p>Then she went upstairs with her grandmother, who was still an invalid,
-and helped her to bed, and read “the chapter” with which the day was
-always concluded; and put a great old stick, with a gold head, which had
-belonged to some ancestor, by the bedside, in order that Mrs. Murray, if
-she wanted anything, should “knock down,” for there were not many bells
-in the little farmhouse. The sitting-room was immediately below, and
-this was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38">{38}</a></span> the recognised way at the Castle Farm of calling for the
-attendants. When this last duty was done, Jeanie was free for the night
-to “take her book” or “her seam,” and do as she pleased, for she had
-never had anything to do with “the beasts” or outdoor matters.</p>
-
-<p>By this time Bell had finished with her clinking pails. She was in the
-kitchen, still moving about, frying the cold potatoes into a savoury
-mess, with which Sandy and she were about to regale themselves. Where
-Bell’s strong shoes were, and her hearty voice, not to speak of Sandy’s,
-which was very deep bass, there could scarcely be stillness in the
-house; but when the kitchen door was closed, and the two (who were
-sweethearts) talked lower, the spell of the quiet grew strong upon
-Jeanie. She put down her seam, and stole out very quietly to the door,
-which still stood innocently open; for at the Castle Farm they feared no
-evil. If you could but have seen her, no prettier figure ever watched
-for a tardy lover. She was dressed in a plain little brown frock,
-without any furbelows, with a little rim of white collar round her neck.
-Her golden hair was fastened up with a large tortoise-shell comb,
-thought “very old-fashioned” by all the girls about Loch Arroch, which
-had belonged to Jeanie’s mother, and of which, as a valuable article,
-costing originally “more than a pound-note,” as her grandmother had
-often told her, Jeanie was proud. The comb was scarcely visible in the
-soft bright mass of hair, which Jeanie had not neglected to twist up in
-its abundance into some semblance of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39">{39}</a></span> “the fashion.” She leant against
-the doorway with her chin propped in the hollow of her hand, and one
-folded arm supporting the elbow of the other.</p>
-
-<p>The stars shone high over head, high up above the big summit of
-Benvohrlan, which shut out from her half the heavens. The moon was
-behind, silvering over the red roof of the house, and falling glorious
-upon the dark water, making it one sheet of silver from where it opened
-out of the bigger loch up to the very foot of the mountain. The side of
-Benvohrlan was almost as light as in the day-time, and Loch Long on the
-other turn of the gigantic corner formed by the hill, went gleaming away
-into invisible space, betraying itself in undefinable distance by here
-and there a line or speck of silver. All up the loch side, at Jeanie’s
-left hand, the path lay clear and vacant, without a shadow on it. On the
-other side, the glimmering lightness of the stubble field, with its
-sheaves looking like strange animals in the moonlight, extended to the
-water edge, rounding out to where it too gained the margin of the parent
-loch. I do not know any finer combination of hill and water. The level
-fields of the Castle Farm on one side, and Big Benvohrlan on the other,
-form the doorway by which the lesser loch enters the greater; on one
-side an angle of cultivated land: on the other a gigantic angle of
-mountain. But little Jeanie thought little of the familiar scene around
-her. The moon, newly risen, cast a soft shadow of her little figure, the
-same way as her heart went, upon the road<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40">{40}</a></span> from the loch-head by which
-Edgar was coming. He saw this shadow with a little impatient vexation as
-he approached the house, but not till long after little Jeanie’s heart
-had jumped to perceive him.</p>
-
-<p>Poor little gentle soul! her large eyes made larger and softer still by
-her wistful anxiety and longing for his presence, had watched with
-patience unwavering for more than an hour. She had not minded the chill
-wind nor the weariness of standing so long, with no support but the
-doorway. The attitude, the strained look, the patience, were all
-characteristic of Jeanie. She was the kind of being which in all
-second-rate poetry, and most second-rate imaginations, is the one sole
-type of woman. Looking for some one who was the lord of her life, or
-looking to some one&mdash;with soft eyes intent, with quick ears waiting,
-with gentle heart ready to receive whatever impression he wished to
-convey, the soft soul turned to the man who had caught her heart or her
-imagination as the flower turns to the sun. To use the jargon of the
-day, poor little Jeanie was receptive to the highest degree. She never
-originated anything, nor advised anything, nor took any part as an
-individual being in the conduct of life, either her own or that of
-others. Hers were not those eager youthful opinions, those harsh
-judgments, those daring comments which belong as much to youth as its
-bloom. She was too artless to know anything of the prettiness of her
-uplifted eyes, or the delicious flattery which lay in her absolute
-submissiveness. Poor Jeanie did not know that these were charms much
-more potent<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41">{41}</a></span> than the talents which she was aware she did not possess.
-She listened, and looked, and watched for those signs of guidance, which
-she obeyed by instinct with the docility of a dumb creature, because it
-was her nature. She did not even intend to please; though she was happy
-beyond description when she found that she had pleased, she did but act
-as she could not help acting, according as her disposition moved her.
-Edgar, who had not been used to this kind of woman, had been half
-annoyed, half amused by her powerlessness to advise or help, her soft
-devotion of look, now addressed to himself, now to Mrs. Murray. He had
-wondered at it, and objected to it; yet he had been moved like any other
-man to a softening sense of protection and almost tenderness. He was
-flattered too in spite of himself to find her thus watching for him. It
-made him more than half angry, but yet it pleased him involuntarily.</p>
-
-<p>“You will catch cold standing out here in the night air,” he said
-pettishly at the first moment. Then he added with compunction, “It is
-kind of you to look for me, Jeanie; but you should not stand out in the
-cold without a shawl.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m glad you’re come home,” said Jeanie, with instinctive policy
-ignoring this reproof. “Grannie is in her bed, and it is lonely without
-you. Will I make you some tea? or will you have your supper? You’ve been
-long away.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not so very long,” said Edgar, touched by the soft complaint, “but I
-ought to have recollected that you were alone. Are you afraid, Jeanie,
-at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42">{42}</a></span> night with no one but Bell and the granny to take care of you? It is
-a lonely house.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no,” said Jeanie, looking brightly round upon him, as he followed
-her into the low parlour, where two candles were flickering on the table
-before the fire.</p>
-
-<p>“But it is a lonely house?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes,” she repeated softly, “but what o’ that? Nobody would meddle
-with us. Granny is as well known as Loch Arroch Kirk. Nobody dares
-meddle with us. I’m never lonely, except when granny is ill and goes to
-her bed, and I can hear Bell and Sandy in the kitchen. That makes me
-think I would like somebody to speak to, too.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Bell and Sandy,”&mdash;Edgar began: if he was going to be so incautious
-as to add,&mdash;“are sweethearts,” I don’t know what would have become of
-him; but happily Jeanie, with a sudden blush interposed.</p>
-
-<p>“I was not meaning Bell and Sandy; any voices have the same sound. They
-make you feel how lone you are.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is true,” said Edgar, seating himself by the fire, which Jeanie
-had kept bright, with a clean-swept hearth, and a clear red glow for his
-coming. He sat down meditatively in the old mother’s chair. “That is
-true,” he repeated slowly, “I have felt it often of winter nights when I
-have gone upstairs to my chilly room, and heard the people chatting
-together as I passed their doors.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43">{43}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>You</i> have felt that, too?” said Jeanie timidly, with reverential
-wonder, “but you need never be your lane unless you like.”</p>
-
-<p>“I assure you I have often been ‘my lane,’ as you call it, when I did
-not like at all,” said Edgar smiling, “you have much too high an
-opinion, Jeanie, of what I can do ‘if I like.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no,” said Jeanie, “you are not the same as the like of us; you are
-a man, which is a great difference,&mdash;and then you’re a grand gentleman.”</p>
-
-<p>“Jeanie, my foolish little Jeanie! I am your cousin and your granny’s
-child like you,” he cried, putting his hand upon hers, to stop her in
-the little outburst of innocent enthusiasm, which was, he felt, for an
-ideal Edgar&mdash;not for him.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s very hard to understand,” said Jeanie shaking her head softly with
-a little sigh, “why you should be yonder the greatest of the land, and
-now only granny’s son, like me. I’ll no try. When I think, I get back a
-pain in my head like what I had&mdash;when I was ill.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must not think,” said Edgar, “but, Jeanie, tell me, did you do my
-commission? Did you persuade granny to let me do what I wish?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Jeanie eagerly; she came forward and stood by him in the
-pleasure of making this report of her own faithfulness,&mdash;and the
-cheerful ruddy gleam of the firelight flickered about her, shining in
-her hair and eyes, and adding a tint to the colour on her cheek, which
-was pale by nature. “I told her a’ you said, I did not miss a word. I
-said it would be fine for her, but better for you; that you would do
-something then, and now you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44">{44}</a></span> were doing nothing; and that you would be
-glad aye to think of Loch Arroch, and that there was a house there where
-you were thought upon day and night, and named in a’ the prayers, and
-minded, whatever you did, and whatever we did.”</p>
-
-<p>“That was your own, Jeanie,” said Edgar, taking her hand, and looking up
-at her with gratified tenderness. She was to him as a little sister, and
-her affectionate half-childish enthusiasm brought a suffusion to his
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“If it was, may I no say what I think&mdash;me too?” said Jeanie, with modest
-grace. “I told her that you couldna bear the thought of her away in
-another man’s house, after so long keeping her own over a’ our heads,
-that the siller was nothing to you, but that her&mdash;and me&mdash;were something
-to you, your nearest friends in this world. Eh, I’m glad we’re your
-nearest friends! though it’s strange, strange to think of,” said Jeanie,
-in a parenthesis. “I told her that though she couldna work and I couldna
-work, you could work, and win a fortune if you liked. I did not forget a
-single word,” cried the girl, “not a word! I told her all you said.”</p>
-
-<p>For a moment Edgar made no reply. He listened with a half smile,
-wonderingly endeavouring to put himself in the place of this limited yet
-clear intelligence, which was capable of stating his own generous
-arguments so fully, yet incapable, as it seemed, of so much reflection
-as would make her hesitate to expound them. Jeanie, so far as her
-personal sentiment went, accepted his sacrifice with matter-of-fact
-simplicity, without ever thinking of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45">{45}</a></span> his side of it, or of the
-deprivations involved. She took his offer to denude himself of
-everything he had, with the same absolute pleasure and satisfaction with
-which a child would accept a present. Was it her unbounded confidence in
-his power to win a fortune if he liked? Or was it her simple instinct
-that this was natural, and that the weak and helpless had a right to the
-services of the strong? Edgar was bewildered by this question which
-never entered into Jeanie’s mind. He was almost glad of her incapacity
-to see beyond the surface of things, and yet wondered at it with
-something between amusement and pain. Here was the primitive nature,
-commonplace, unsophisticated, he said to himself, which believed what
-was said to it simply demanding without motive or reason. No second
-thoughts troubled the limpid surface of Jeanie’s gentle mind. She
-believed unhesitatingly not only that he meant what he said (which was
-true), but that the arguments she repeated were infallible, without
-perceiving the sophistry of which Edgar himself, the author of them, was
-fully conscious. Truly and sincerely she made as light of his
-self-renunciation as he himself had made&mdash;a thing which is bewildering
-to the self-sacrificer, though it may be the thing which is most
-desirable to him and suits his purpose best. I do not know if Jeanie was
-aware of the half tone of descent in the moral scale which made itself
-apparent in Edgar’s voice.</p>
-
-<p>“You have been a clever advocate, Jeanie,” he said with a smile, “and I
-hope a successful one,” and with that he dropped her hand and took out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46">{46}</a></span>
-his newspaper. Was there anything amiss, or was it merely his lordly
-pleasure to end the conversation? With a momentary sense of pain, Jeanie
-wondered which it was, but accepted the latter explanation, got her
-seam, and sat down within reach of the pleasant warmth of the fire,
-happy in the silence, asking nothing more.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47">{47}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.<br /><br />
-<small>A Family Consultation.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">A few</span> days after, various members of the family arrived at the Castle
-Farm, with the intention of deciding what was to be done. An arrangement
-had been partially made with a young farmer of the district, who was
-ready to enter upon the remainder of the lease, and whom the factor on
-the part of the Duke was ready to accept as replacing Mrs. Murray in the
-responsibilities of the tenancy. This, of course, everybody felt was the
-natural step to be taken, and it left the final question as to how the
-old lady herself was to be disposed of, clear and unembarrassed. Even
-Edgar himself was not sufficiently Quixotic to suppose that Mrs.
-Murray’s feelings and pride should be so far consulted as to keep up the
-farm for her amusement, while she was no longer able to manage its
-manifold concerns.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. and Mrs. Campbell arrived first in their gig, which was seated for
-four persons, and which, indeed, Mr. Campbell called a phaeton. Their
-horse was a good steady, sober-minded brown horse, quite free from any
-imaginativeness or eccentricity, plump and sleek, and well-groomed; and
-the whole turnout had an appearance of comfort and well-being.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48">{48}</a></span> They
-brought with them a young man whom Edgar had not yet seen, a Dr. Charles
-Murray, from the East-country, the son of Mrs. Murray’s eldest son, who
-had arrived that morning by the steamboat at Loch Arroch Head. From
-Greenock by the same conveyance&mdash;but not in Mr. Campbell’s gig&mdash;came
-James Murray, another of the old lady’s sons, who was “a provision
-merchant” in that town, dealing largely in hams and cheeses, and full of
-that reverential respect for money which is common with his kind. Lastly
-there arrived from Kildarton on the other side of Loch Long, a lady who
-had taken the opportunity, as she explained to Edgar, of indulging her
-young people with a picnic, which they were to hold in a little wooded
-dell, round the corner of the stubble field, facing Loch Long, while she
-came on to join the family party, and decide upon her mother’s destiny.
-This was Mrs. MacKell, Mrs. Murray’s youngest daughter, a good-looking,
-high-complexioned woman of forty-five, the wife of a Glasgow “merchant”
-(the phrase is wide, and allows of many gradations), who had been living
-in sea-side quarters, or, as her husband insisted on expressing it, “at
-the saut water,” in the pleasant sea-bathing village of Kildarton,
-opposite the mouth of Loch Arroch. The boat which deposited her at the
-little landing-place belonging to the Castle Farm, was a heavy boat of
-the district, filled with a bright-coloured and animated party, and
-provided with the baskets and hampers necessary for their party of
-pleasure. Mrs. MacKell stood on the bank, waving her hand to them as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49">{49}</a></span>
-they hoisted the sail and floated back again round the yellow edge of
-the stubble field.</p>
-
-<p>“Mind you keep your warm haps on, girls, and don’t wet your feet,” she
-called to them; “and oh, Andrew, my man, for mercy’s sake take care of
-that awful sail!”</p>
-
-<p>This adjuration was replied to by a burst of laughter in many voices,
-and a “Never fear, mother,” from Andrew; but Mrs. MacKell shook her
-good-looking head as she accepted Edgar’s hand to ascend the slope. All
-the kindred regarded Edgar with a mixture of curiosity and awe, and it
-was, perhaps, a slight nervous shyness in respect to this stranger, so
-aristocratical-looking, as Mrs. MacKell expressed herself, which gave a
-little additional loudness and apparent gaiety to that excellent woman’s
-first address.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m always afraid of those sails. They’re very uncanny sort of things
-when a person does not quite understand the nature of our lochs. I
-suppose, Mr. Edgar, you’re in that case?” said Mrs. MacKell, looking at
-him with an ingratiating smile.</p>
-
-<p>He was her nephew, there could be no doubt of it, and she had a right to
-talk to him familiarly; but at the same time he was a fine gentleman and
-a stranger, and made an impression upon her mind which was but
-inadequately counter-balanced by any self-assurances that he was “just
-an orphan lad&mdash;no better&mdash;not to say a great deal worse off than our own
-bairns.” Such representations did not affect the question as they ought
-to have done, when this strange personage, “no better,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50">{50}</a></span> not to say a
-great deal worse” than themselves, stood with his smile which made them
-slightly uncomfortable, before them. It was the most open and genial
-smile, and in former times Edgar had been supposed a great deal too much
-disposed to place himself on a level with all sorts of people; but
-now-a-days his look embarrassed his humble relations. There was a
-certain amusement in it, which bore no reference to them, which was
-entirely at himself, and the quaintly novel position in which he found
-himself, but which nevertheless affected them, nobody could have told
-why. He was not laughing at them, respectablest of people. They could
-not take offence, neither could they divine what he was laughing at; but
-the curious, whimsical, and often rueful amusement which mingled with
-many much less agreeable feelings, somehow made itself felt and produced
-an effect upon which he had never calculated. It was something they did
-not understand, and this consciousness partially irritated, partially
-awed these good people, who felt that the new man in their midst was a
-being beyond their comprehension. They respected his history and his
-previous position, though with a little of that characteristic contempt
-which mingles so strangely in Scotland with many old prejudices in
-favour of rank and family; they respected more honestly and entirely his
-little property, the scraps of his former high estate which made him
-still independent; but above all they now respected, though with some
-irritation, what seemed to them the unfathomableness of his character,
-the lurking smile in his eyes. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51">{51}</a></span> confirmed the superiority which
-imagination already acknowledged.</p>
-
-<p>“I have not had much experience of the lochs,” said Edgar, following
-with his eyes the clumsy but gay boat, with its cargo of laughter, and
-frankly gay, if somewhat loud, merry-making.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. MacKell saw his look and was gratified.</p>
-
-<p>“You’ll not know which are your cousins among so many,” she said; “and,
-indeed, the girls have been plaguing me to write over and ask you to
-come. They were all away back in Glasgow when my mother took ill, and
-just came down last week on my account. It’s late for sea-bathing
-quarters in Scotland; and, indeed, when they took it into their heads
-about this pic-nic, I just raged at them. A pic-nic in October, and on
-the loch! But when children set their hearts on a thing the mother’s aye
-made to give way; and they had to be kept quiet, you see, while my
-mother was ill, not knowing how it might end.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is true,” said Edgar; “otherwise, so far as my poor grandmother is
-concerned, this cannot be called a very joyful occasion.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t see that for my part,” cried Mrs. MacKell, feeling herself
-attacked, and responding with instant readiness. “Dear me! if I were in
-my mother’s position, to see all my children about me, all that remain,
-would aye be a joyful occasion, whatever was the cause; and what better
-could she do at her age than go up the loch to my sister Jean’s
-comfortable house, where she would be much made of, and have all her old
-friends about her?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52">{52}</a></span> My mother has been a good mother. I have not a word
-to say against that; but she’s always been a proud woman, awfully proud,
-holding her head as high as the Duchess, and making everybody stand
-about. I’ll not say but what it has been very good for us, for we’ve
-never fallen among the common sort. But still, you know, unless where
-there’s siller that sort of thing cannot be kept up. Of course, I would
-like it better,” added Mrs. MacKell, “to have my mother near, where I
-could send the bairns&mdash;excuse me for using the words of the place.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I like the words,” said Edgar, with a laugh, which he could not
-quite restrain&mdash;better than the sentiments, he would have said.</p>
-
-<p>“Where I could send any of my young folk that happened to be looking
-white, at any moment,” she went on; “far different from what I could do
-with Jean, who has the assurance to tell me she always invites her
-friends when she wants them, though her son has his dinner with us every
-Sunday of his life during the Session! Therefore it’s clear what my
-interest is. But you see, Mr. Edgar,” she continued, softening, “you
-have the ways of a rich man. You never think of the difficulties. Oh!
-Charles, is that you? I’m glad to see you looking so well; and how are
-things going in the East country? and how is your sister Marg’ret, and
-little Bell? If my young folk had known you were here, they would have
-wanted you away with them in the boat. But I must go ben and see my
-mother before all the folk come in. I suppose you are<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53">{53}</a></span> going to look
-over the farm, and the beasts, with the rest.”</p>
-
-<p>The young doctor&mdash;upon whom as a man of his own age, and one more like
-the people he had been accustomed to than those he now found around him,
-Edgar had looked, with more interest than any of his other relations had
-called from him&mdash;came up to him now with a face overcast with care.</p>
-
-<p>“May I speak to you about this painful subject,” he said, “before the
-others come in?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why a painful subject?” asked Edgar, with a smile, which was half
-tremulous with feeling, and half indignant, too proud for sympathy.</p>
-
-<p>“It may not be so to you,” said the young man. “She brought us up, every
-one of my family; but what can I do? I have a brother in Australia, too
-far off to help, and another a clerk in London. As for me, I have the
-charge of my eldest sister, who is a widow with a child. You don’t know
-what a hard fight it is for a young medical man struggling to make his
-way.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, not yet,” said Edgar, with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Not yet? How can you know? If I were to take my grandmother home with
-me, which I would do gladly, she would be far from everything that she
-knows and cares for&mdash;in a new place, among strangers. Her whole life
-would be broken up. And I could not take Jeanie,” the young man added,
-with a thrill of still greater pain in his voice. “There would be other
-dangers. What can we do? I cannot bear to think that she must leave this
-place.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54">{54}</a></span> But I have so little power to help, and consequently so little
-voice in the matter.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have not very much,” said Edgar; “but yet enough, I think, to decide
-this question. And so long as I have a shilling, she shall not be driven
-away from her home. On that I have made up my mind.”</p>
-
-<p>His new cousin looked at him with admiration&mdash;then with a sigh:</p>
-
-<p>“What a thing money is,” he said; “ever so little of it. You can take a
-high hand with them, having something; but I, to whom Robert Campbell
-and Mr. MacKell have both lent money to set me going&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar held out his hand to his companion.</p>
-
-<p>“When this is settled I shall be in the same position,” he said; “worse,
-for you have a profession, and I have none. You must teach me how I can
-best work for daily bread.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are joking,” said the young doctor, with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>Like the others, he could not believe that Edgar, once so rich, could
-ever be entirely poor; and that he should denude himself altogether of
-his living for the sake of the old mother, whom they were all quite
-ready to help&mdash;in reason, was an idea impossible to be comprehended, and
-which nobody believed for a moment. He said nothing in reply, and the
-two stood together before the door waiting for the other men of the
-party, who were looking over “the beasts” and farm implements, and
-calculating how much they would bring.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55">{55}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>James Murray, the provision merchant, was the typical Scotchman of
-fiction and drama&mdash;a dry, yellow man, with keen grey eyes, surrounded by
-many puckers, scrubby sandy hair, and a constant regard for his own
-interest. The result had been but indifferent, for he was the poorest of
-the family, always in difficulties, and making the sparest of livings by
-means of tremendous combinations of skill and thought sufficient to have
-made the most fabulous fortune&mdash;only fortune had never come his way. He
-had been poking the cows in the ribs, and inspecting the joints of every
-plough and harrow as if his life depended upon them. As he came forward
-to join the others, he put down in the note-book which he held in his
-hand, the different sums which he supposed they would bring. Altogether,
-it was a piece of business which pleased him. If he had ever had any
-sentimental feeling towards his old home, that was over many a long year
-ago; and that his mother, when she could no longer manage the farm,
-should give it up, and be happy and thankful to find a corner at her
-daughter’s fireside, was to him the most natural thing in life. The only
-thing that disturbed him, was the impossibility of making her seek a
-composition with her creditors, and thus saving something “for an
-emergency.”</p>
-
-<p>“James has aye an eye to what may come after,” Mr. Campbell said, with
-his peculiar humour, and a laugh which made Edgar long to pitch him into
-the loch; “he’s thinking of the succession. Not that I’m opposed to
-compounding with the creditors<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56">{56}</a></span> in such a case. She’s well-known for an
-honest woman that’s paid her way, and held up her head with the best,
-and we all respect her, and many of us would have no objection to make a
-bit small sacrifice. I’m one myself, and I can speak. But your mother is
-a woman that has always had a great deal of her own way.”</p>
-
-<p>“More than was good for her,” said James Murray, shaking his head.
-“She’s as obstinate as an auld mule when she takes a notion. She’s been
-mistress and mair these forty year, and like a women, she’ll hear no
-reason. Twelve or fifteen shillings in the pound is a very fine
-composition, and touches no man’s credit, besides leaving an old wife
-something in her pocket to win respect.”</p>
-
-<p>“And to leave behind her,” said Campbell, laughing and slapping his
-brother-in-law on the back.</p>
-
-<p>This was at the door of the farm-house, where they lingered a moment
-before going in. The loud laugh of the one and testy exclamation of the
-other, sounded in through the open windows of the parlour, where the
-mistress of the house sat with her daughters; probably the entire
-conversation had reached them in the same way. But of that no one took
-any thought. This meeting and family consultation was rather “a ploy”
-than otherwise to all the party. They liked the outing, the inspection,
-the sense of superiority involved. The sons and the daughters were
-intent upon making their mother hear reason and putting all nonsense out
-of her head. She had been foolish in these last<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57">{57}</a></span> years of her life. She
-had brought up Tom’s bairns, for instance, in a ridiculous way. It was
-all very well for Robert Campbell’s son, who was able to afford it, to
-be sent to College, but what right had Charlie Murray to be made a
-gentleman of at the expense of all the rest? To be sure his uncles and
-aunts were somewhat proud of him now that the process was completed, and
-liked to speak of “my nephew the doctor;” but still it was a thing that
-a grandmother, all whose descendants had an equal right to her favours,
-had no title to do.</p>
-
-<p>“My bairns are just as near in blood, and have just as good a right to a
-share of what’s going; and when you think how many there are of them,
-and the fight we have had to give them all they require,” Mrs. MacKell
-said to Mrs. Campbell.</p>
-
-<p>“Many or few,” said Mrs. Campbell to Mrs. MacKell, “we have all a right
-to our share. I’ve yet to learn that being one of ten bairns gives more
-claim than being an only child. Johnnie ought to be as much to his
-grandmother as any grand-bairn she has&mdash;as much as Charlie Murray that
-has cost her hundreds. But she never spent a pound note on my Johnnie
-all his life.”</p>
-
-<p>“There have been plenty pound-notes spent on him,” said the younger
-sister, “but we need not quarrel, for neither yours nor mine will get
-anything from their grandmother now. But I hope the men will stand fast,
-and not yield to any fancies. My mother’s always been a good mother to
-us, but very injudicious with these children. There’s Jeanie,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58">{58}</a></span> now,
-never taught to do a hand’s turn, but encouraged in all her fancies.”</p>
-
-<p>“I would like to buy in the china,” said Mrs. Campbell. “Auld china is
-very much thought of now-a-days. I hear the Duchess drinks her tea out
-of nothing else, and the dafter-like the better. You’ll be surprised
-when you see how many odds and ends there are about the house, that
-would make a very good show if they were rightly set out.”</p>
-
-<p>“My mother has some good things too, if all the corners were cleared,
-that are of no use to her, but that would come in very well for the
-girls,” said Mrs. MacKell; and with these kind and reverential thoughts
-they met their mother, who perhaps also&mdash;who knows?&mdash;had in her day been
-covetous of things that would come in for the girls. This was the easy
-and cheerful view which the family took of the circumstances altogether.
-Not one of them intended to be unkind. They were all quite determined
-that she should “want for nothing;” but still it was, on the whole,
-rather “a ploy” and pleasant expedition, this family assembly, which had
-been convened for the purpose of dethroning its head.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59">{59}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.<br /><br />
-<small>The Family Martyr.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">I need</span> not say that the feelings with which the old woman awaited the
-decision of her fate were of a very different character. She had lain
-awake almost the whole night, thinking over the long life which she had
-spent within those walls. She had been married at eighteen, and now she
-was seventy. I wonder whether she felt in herself one tithe of the
-difference which these words imply. I do not believe she did; except at
-special moments we never feel ourselves old; we are, to ourselves, what
-we always were, the same creature, inexhaustible, unchangeable,
-notwithstanding all vulgar exterior transformation. Poor old Mrs. Murray
-at seventy, poor, aged, ruined, upon whom her children were to sit that
-day and give forth her sentence of banishment, her verdict of
-destitution, never more to call anything her own, to lodge in the house
-of another, to eat a stranger’s bread&mdash;was to her own knowledge the same
-girl, eighteen years old, who had opened bright eyes in that chamber in
-those early summer mornings fifty years ago when life was so young.
-Fifty years passed before her as she lay with her eyes turned to the
-wall. How many joys in them, how many sorrows! how tired she had lain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60">{60}</a></span>
-down, how lightly risen up, how many plans she had pondered there, how
-many prayers she had murmured unheard of by any but God, prayers, many
-of them never answered, many forgotten even by herself, some, which she
-remembered best, granted almost as soon as said. How she had cried and
-wept in an agony, for example, for the life of her youngest child, and
-how it had been better almost from that hour! The child was her
-daughter, Mrs. MacKell, now a virtuous mother of a family; but after all
-to her own mother, perhaps it would not now have mattered very much had
-that prayer dropped unheard. How many recollections there are to look
-back on in seventy years, and how bewildering the effort to remember
-whether the dreamer lying there is eighteen, or forty, or seventy! and
-she to be judged and sentenced and know her doom to-day.</p>
-
-<p>She did not shed any tear or make any complaint, but acknowledged to
-herself with the wonderful stoicism of the poor that it was natural,
-that nothing else was to be looked for. Jean and her husband would be
-kind&mdash;enough; they would give the worn-out mother food and shelter; they
-would not neglect nor treat her cruelly. All complaint was silent in her
-heart; but yet the events of this day were no “ploy” to her. She got up
-at her usual time, late now in comparison to the busy and active past,
-and came down with Jeanie’s help to the parlour, and seated herself in
-the arm-chair where she had sat for so many years. There she passed the
-morning very silent, spending the time<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61">{61}</a></span> with her own thoughts. She had
-told Jeanie what to do, to prepare for the early dinner, which they were
-all to eat together.</p>
-
-<p>“You would be a good bairn,” she had said with a smile, “if you would
-take it upon you to do all this, Jeanie, and say nothing to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Jeanie had sense enough to take her at her word, and thus all the
-morning she had been alone, sitting with eyes fixed on Benvohrlan, often
-with a strange smile on her face, pondering and thinking. She had her
-stocking in her hands, and knitted on and on, weaving in her musing soul
-with the thread. When her daughters came in she received them very
-kindly with a wistful smile, looking up into their faces, wondering if
-the sight of the mother who bore them had any effect upon these women.
-Still more wistfully she looked at the men who followed. Many a volume
-has been written about the love of parents, the love of mothers, its
-enthusiasms of hope and fancy, its adorations of the unworthy, its agony
-for the lost; but I do not remember that anyone has ventured to touch
-upon a still more terrible view of the subject, the disappointment, for
-example, with which such a woman as I have attempted to set before the
-reader&mdash;a woman full of high aspirations, noble generosities, and
-perhaps an unwarrantable personal pride, all intensified by the homely
-circumstances of life around her&mdash;sometimes looks upon the absolutely
-commonplace people whom she has brought into the world. She, too, has
-had her dreams about them while they were children and all things seemed
-possible&mdash;while<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62">{62}</a></span> they were youths with still some grace and freshness of
-the morning veiling their unheroic outlines. But a woman of seventy can
-cherish no fond delusions about her middle-aged sons and daughters who
-are to all intents and purposes as old as she is. What a dismal sense of
-failure must come into such a woman’s heart while she looks at them!
-Perhaps this is one reason why grandfathers and grandmothers throw
-themselves so eagerly into the new generation, by means of which human
-nature can always go on deceiving itself. Heavens! what a difference
-between the ordinary man or woman at fifty, and that ideal creature
-which he, or she, appeared to the mother’s eyes at fifteen! The old
-people gaze and gaze to see our old features in us; and who can express
-the blank of that disappointment, the cruel mortification of those old
-hopes, which never find expression in any words?</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Murray, from the household place where she had ruled so long, where
-she had brought up upon her very life-blood like the pelican, those same
-commonplace people&mdash;where she had succoured the poor, and entertained
-strangers, and fed from her heart two generations&mdash;looked wistfully,
-half wonderingly at them as they all entered, and sat down round her, to
-decide what was to be done with her. Something of a divine despair, like
-that God Himself might have felt when the creation he had pronounced
-good, turned to evil&mdash;but with a more poignant thrill of human anguish
-in the fact of her own utter powerlessness to move to good or to evil
-those independent souls which once had seemed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63">{63}</a></span> all hers, to influence as
-she would&mdash;swept through her like a sudden storm. But to show any
-outward sign of this was impossible. Theirs now was the upper hand; they
-were in the height of life, and she was old. “When thou wast young, thou
-girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest; but when thou
-shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird
-thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not;” she said these words to
-herself with a piteous patience and submission; but unheard by any
-soul,&mdash;unless, indeed, it was by those sympathisers in Heaven, who hear
-so much, yet make no sign that we can hear or see.</p>
-
-<p>They came in quite cheerfully all of them, full of the many and
-diversified affairs which, for the moment, they were to make the
-sacrifice of laying aside to settle the fate of their mother, and held
-over her body, as it were, a pleasant little family palaver.</p>
-
-<p>“The children have gone down the loch for a pic-nic; they would have
-come in to see Granny, but I said you would have no time for them
-to-day. The weather is just wonderful for this time of the year, or I
-never would have allowed such a thing.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s all very well for you town-folk to praise up a good day,” said Mr.
-Campbell, “which is no doubt pleasant when it comes to them that have no
-interest in the land&mdash;but a kind of an insult to us after all the soft
-weather that has ruined the corn. What’s the use of one good day except
-for your pic-nics and nonsense? nothing but to make the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64">{64}</a></span> handful of
-wheat sprout the faster. And the glass is down again&mdash;We’ll have more
-rain the morn.”</p>
-
-<p>“You’ll find it very dry in the East country, Chairles,” said Mrs.
-Campbell; “more pleasant for walking, but very stour and troublesome to
-keep a house clean, and a great want of water. Your sister Marg’ret was
-aye ill to please about the weather; but after a’ that’s come and gone,
-I hope she’s no so fanciful now?”</p>
-
-<p>“You’ll be setting up a gig soon?” said James Murray, “or, perhaps,
-you’ve done it already? It’s expensive, but it’s a kind of necessity for
-a doctor.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed I cannot see that; a strong young man like Charles that’s well
-able to walk! but some folk are always taking care of themselves,” said
-Mrs. MacKell. “In Glasgow, the richest men in the place think nothing of
-a walk, wet or dry&mdash;and my bairns, I assure you, are never spoiled with
-such luxuries.”</p>
-
-<p>“A gig to a doctor is like a spade to a labouring man,” said Robert
-Campbell, sententiously; “that’s an expense that I approve. Keep you up
-appearances, Charles&mdash;that’s as long as you can do it out of your own
-pocket,” he said with a laugh, thrusting his hand deep into his own.</p>
-
-<p>“I know where you could lay your hand on a very decent machine, cheaper,
-I answer for’t, than anything you’ll get in the East country,” said
-James.</p>
-
-<p>“And I am sure you have plenty of old harness that could be cleaned up,
-Robert,” said Mrs. Campbell, “if it’s thought necessary. To be sure, if
-he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65">{65}</a></span> was sent for in a hurry to some country place, perhaps, or the other
-side of the town&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you all,” said the young doctor, “but I have a&mdash;conveyance. I
-could not do without it. I took it from my predecessor, along with the
-house and the goodwill.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did you hear what he said?” said Mrs. MacKell, aside, to Mrs. Campbell,
-“a conveyance, not a gig, as we were all saying. Depend upon it, it’s
-some grand landau, or something, where Marg’ret can lie and take her
-ease. To think how my mother spoiled these bairns!”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Murray took no part in all their talk. She sat with her old eyes
-sadly turned upon them, eyes that were clear with the pallid liquid
-light of a sky just cleared from rain. I think the only one who was at
-all interested in the old woman, beyond the matter-of-fact interest
-which belonged to her as the cause of the meeting, was Edgar, who had
-seated himself close to her, and who now laid his hand, in a silent
-sympathy which nobody else felt, upon the hand with which she held the
-arm of her chair. Her hand was grey-white, the colour of old age, with
-all the veins visible on the wrinkled surface. When he put his young
-warm hand upon it, it felt almost as cold as death.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you think,” he said, with some abruptness, “that my grandmother’s
-concerns ought to be settled before we talk of anything else?”</p>
-
-<p>They had all, as I have said, a respect for Edgar, and his voice had an
-immediate effect.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s true,” said Mr. Campbell, “it would be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66">{66}</a></span> better to settle
-everything before dinner;” and with this comfortable levity they all
-gathered more closely round the table. The drawing in of chairs and the
-little noise of coughing and clearing throats which heralded the
-commencement of a new subject, occupied the first minute; then James
-Murray edged slightly away from the table the chair which he had drawn
-close to it, and prepared to speak. But before he had opened his lips an
-unforeseen interruption arose; Mrs. Murray herself took the initiative,
-a thing entirely unexpected by her children, who had felt, with a sense
-of security, that they had her fairly in hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Bairns,” she said slowly, and at first in a low tone, while they all
-turned upon her with surprise, “bairns, I am leaving you to settle
-everything. I am old; I would fain have gone to them that’s passed
-before me, but the Lord hasna been of my mind. Things have gone badly
-with the farm, partly by His providence, partly by my fault&mdash;you know
-that as well as I do. In my time, I’ve commanded you and done what I
-thought best. Now the power has gone out of my hands; settle as ye will,
-and I’ll no complain, so long as every man has his ain, and no debt is
-left, nor any person to rise up against me and call me an unjust dealer.
-I’ve done my best for you while it was in my power. Now, do your best,
-I’ll no complain. Beggars should not be choosers. It’s all in your
-hands.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mother, you shouldna speak like that! as if you doubted that we could
-think of anything but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67">{67}</a></span> your good,” cried both her daughters in a breath;
-“and as for beggars&mdash;not one of us would use such a word.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s what I am,” said the old woman firmly. “And there’s but one word I
-have to say. You ken all of you what I would like best; that’s all I’ll
-say; every one of you kens what I would like best. But, failing that,
-I’ll do whatever’s settled on. I’ll no complain.”</p>
-
-<p>“What you would like, we all know very well,” said James Murray,
-hastily; “but it’s impossible, mother, impossible. You canna afford the
-farm, you canna afford to keep up a house, doing nothing for it, or to
-keep up a family. There’s <i>you</i>, and we’ll do our best.”</p>
-
-<p>She made a little gesture with her hands, and relapsed into the
-stillness which she had not broken when they talked of other affairs.
-The discrowned monarch sat still to let whoever would take her sceptre
-from her. She took up the stocking she had laid in her lap, and began
-knitting again, looking at them with eyes out of which the wistfulness
-had faded. An almost stern submission had replaced the wondering anxious
-look with which she had looked round to see if anyone would understand
-her, if any would deal with her as she had dealt by them.</p>
-
-<p>“For you see,” continued James Murray, doggedly, “mother, we are none of
-us rich, to be guided by your fancies. If we were great ones of this
-earth, and you the auld Duchess, say, for example’s sake, you might have
-your will, whatever it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68">{68}</a></span> cost. But we’re all poor folk&mdash;or comparatively
-poor folk. We may give you a welcome to our houses, such as they are,
-and a share of what we have; but as for siller we have not got it, and
-we cannot give you what we have not got to give.”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s just about the real state of the case,” said Robert Campbell.
-“There are many things more rife among us than siller. We’ve all sense
-enough to see what’s for our advantage, and we’re all industrious folk,
-doing our best; but siller is not rife. As for us, Jean and me have long
-made up our minds what to do. It’s our duty, or at least it’s her duty,
-as the eldest of the daughters; and your mother was always a kind
-guid-mother to me, and never interfered or made mischief; so I would
-never oppose Jean’s righteous desire. We’ll take the old leddy in. She
-shall have a room to herself, and nothing to do, one way or other, more
-than she pleases. If she likes to do any small turn in the house, in the
-way of helping, well and good; but nothing will be asked from her. And
-anything that the rest of you think that you could spare&mdash;I’m not a man
-to haggle about my good-mother’s board. She shall have her share of all
-that’s going the same as one of ourselves; but if any of you have
-anything to spare&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Would it not be more satisfactory to us all, and more agreeable to my
-grandmother,” said Edgar, suddenly, “if, without charging Mr. Campbell
-above the rest, we were to make up a little income for her, to enable
-her to keep her own house?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69">{69}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>This suggestion fell like a sudden cannon-ball into the group. There was
-a universal movement.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, well, I’m no forcing myself on anybody. Try what you can do,”
-cried Campbell, offended, pushing his chair from the table.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s just all stuff and nonsense!” cried his wife, reddening with
-anger.</p>
-
-<p>The other two elder people regarded Edgar with a mixture of disapproval
-and dismay. And the young doctor, the only one of the party who showed
-some sympathy for him, grew very red, and hesitated and cleared his
-throat as if to speak&mdash;but said nothing. After a moment’s pause, James
-Murray turned upon the inconsiderate speaker with a certain solemnity.</p>
-
-<p>“Who are you, young man,” he said, “that you should put in your word and
-do what you can to unsettle a well-considered family arrangement? You
-heard me say not ten minutes since that just the thing we were wanting
-in was money. We’re no in a position to make up incomes either for auld
-wives or young lads. We’re all ready to acknowledge our duty to my
-mother, and to pay it in kind according to our ability. If she tires of
-Jean, she may come to me; none of us would shut our houses against her;
-but as for an income, and to leave her free to make her house a refuge
-for the destitute, as she has aye done, more’s the pity&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mother,” cried Mrs. MacKell, suddenly, “what for are you looking so at
-me? Do you think I wouldna rather, far rather, see you in your own
-house? But I’m no an independent woman as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70">{70}</a></span> you’ve been a’ your days. I’m
-a man’s wife that has plenty to do with his siller. I brought him not a
-sixpence, as ye well know, but a large expensive family, that wants a
-great deal mair than ever <i>we</i> got, as I often tell them. And what can I
-do? I went to my man without a penny, and how can I ask him to spend his
-siller on my folk? Mother,” and here Mrs. MacKell burst into hasty
-sudden crying, half-vexation, half-shame, “it’s awfu’ unkind, when you
-ken how I am situate, to give such looks at me!”</p>
-
-<p>“I gave you no looks, Agnes,” said the old woman. “Oh, Sirs, hold all
-your tongues. I’m the mother that bore you, and never counted the cost
-for aught that was in my power to get for you. But I will have no strife
-of tongues over me. Ye shall not quarrel what you’re to give, or how
-little you’re to give. I canna bear it. Edgar, my bonnie man, you mean
-well, but every word is another stab. Robert Campbell, I take your offer
-kindly. I’ll no be much trouble. I canna promise that I’ll no last long,
-for <i>that’s</i> in the Lord’s hand, and waes me, I canna cut it short, no
-by an hour. But it’s little I want, and I’ll give little trouble&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She paused, with a piteous smile upon her face, gulping down something
-which rose in her throat. With this smile she made her abdication,
-looking round upon them with an anguish of submission and endurance so
-curiously compounded of a hundred different ingredients of pain, each
-giving sharpness and poignancy to the others, that to describe them all
-exceeds my power.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71">{71}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“We’ll go ben and get our dinner,” she added hurriedly; “we’ll say no
-more about it. I take it a’ for granted, and the rest you can settle
-among yourselves.”</p>
-
-<p>“But I cannot take it for granted,” said Edgar. “Stop a little. I will
-not give any stabs, my old mother. Look here, my aunts and uncles.” He
-said this with a momentary hesitation, with the half-smile which they
-resented; but still they listened, having a respect for him and his
-independence. “I am not like you,” said Edgar, still with that
-half-smile. “The only thing I have is money, a little, not worth
-speaking of, but still it is mine to do what I like with it. Is it not
-true that there is some talk of building a new farmhouse for the new
-farmer, as this one is old and in want of repair? I think I heard you
-say so the other day.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s true enough&mdash;what’s about it?” said Campbell, shortly.</p>
-
-<p>“Then my grandmother shall stay here,” said Edgar, decisively; “she
-shall not be turned out of her home, either by her creditors, or&mdash;by her
-sons and daughters. I have nobody to stop me, neither wife, nor sister,
-nor child, nor duty. Thank heaven, I have enough left for that! If you
-will take the trouble to settle all about it, Mr. Campbell, I shall be
-grateful; it is all we will ask you for, not your hospitality, only a
-little trouble. I don’t suppose the Duke will make any difficulties, nor
-the young farmer whom I saw yesterday. Thank you for your kind
-intentions. My grandmother will not be able to set up a refuge for the
-destitute, but no doubt<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72">{72}</a></span> she will serve you all when you require her
-services, as she has been used to do all her life,” said Edgar, with
-some excitement. “Mother, not a word; it is all done, past my power of
-changing as well as yours.”</p>
-
-<p>They all sat and looked at him with momentary stupefaction, staring,
-turning to give questioning looks at each other. Was the young man mad?
-When Edgar ended by pushing some papers across the table to Campbell,
-they all drew close to look, James Murray taking out eagerly, and
-putting on with hands that trembled, a large pair of clumsy spectacles.
-All the four heads of the elder people clustered about these documents;
-they read the papers each over the other’s shoulder.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s all in order&mdash;all in order. Young idiot! he’s bound himself as
-long as she lives,” Campbell muttered in an undertone. “Why the deevil
-didn’t ye let us know your intentions and save us a’ this trouble?” he
-exclaimed aloud, putting away the women from behind him with a gesture,
-and turning with well-put-on indignation to the young man, whose
-excitement had not yet calmed down.</p>
-
-<p>“Saftly, saftly,” said James Murray, “we must not let ourselves be
-carried away by our feelings. I approve the lad; it’s just what I would
-have done myself had I been without the burden of a family, and plenty
-of siller to come and go upon. I’ll shake hands with you, Edgar, my lad;
-it’s well done and well thought! Robert, here, may have a little feeling
-on the subject, as being the one that offered his house; but for my
-part, I’ve no hesita<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73">{73}</a></span>tion in saying it’s well done, Edgar&mdash;well
-done&mdash;just what, in your circumstances, I would have done myself!”</p>
-
-<p>“By George! you’re a clever fellow, Jamie Murray!” cried Campbell, with
-a loud laugh.</p>
-
-<p>The two women did not say anything; they looked at each other, and Mrs.
-MacKell, who was the most soft-hearted, began to cry.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s what we would all have liked to have done,” she said feebly, after
-an interval.</p>
-
-<p>Her sister turned round sharply and scolded Jeanie, who had been sitting
-behind backs looking on, and who now looked up at Edgar with a face so
-radiant that it struck her aunt with sharp offence&mdash;more sharp than the
-real offence of the stranger’s superior generosity, of which it was a
-reflection.</p>
-
-<p>“What are you doing there,” she said, “you little idle cutty? Did not
-Granny tell you to see after the dinner? It may be good for her, but
-it’s ruination to you, if you had the sense to see it. Dinna let me see
-you sit there, smil&mdash;smiling at a young lad! I wonder you dinna think
-shame! It’s all my mother’s fault,” she added bitterly, placing herself
-in the chair by the window, which Jeanie, in dismay and tears, hastily
-evacuated; “<i>we</i> were kept to our work and kept in order, in our day;
-but she’s spoiled every creature that’s come near her since. I’m glad
-I’ve nae girls mysel that she can ruin as she’s ruined Jeanie!”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor thing, she has nae mother to keep her right,” said the softer
-sister.</p>
-
-<p>I think, for my part, that the sharp offence and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74">{74}</a></span> bitterness of the
-women at the sudden turn that things had taken, showed a higher moral
-sense than the eager satisfaction with which, after the first moment,
-the men received it. Murray and Campbell both felt the immediate relief,
-as far as they themselves were concerned. The women felt first the shame
-and stigma of not having attempted to do for their mother what this
-stranger was so ready to do. The result was much less pleasant and less
-amiable to witness, but it showed, I think, a higher feeling of right
-and wrong.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75">{75}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.<br /><br />
-<small>A Party in a Parlour.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The</span> dinner which followed was not, the first part of it at least, a very
-comfortable meal. Mrs. Murray herself was profoundly shaken by the
-conference altogether. She was unable to say anything to her grandson
-except the almost wild “No, lad; no, Edgar, my bonnie man!” with which
-she had endeavoured to stop him at first. After this she had not uttered
-a word. She had taken his hand between her old and worn hands, and
-raised her face as if to God&mdash;praying for blessings on him? No&mdash;I do not
-think her mind was capable of such an effort&mdash;she was looking up to the
-Divine Friend who had been her refuge in everything these seventy years,
-in a strange rapture of surprise and joy. How much part the sudden
-change in her circumstances had to do with the joy, I cannot tell&mdash;very
-little I think, infinitesimally little. “I have one son, one true son,
-after all; heart of my heart, and soul of my soul!” This was the
-predominating thought in her mind, the half-ecstatic feeling which
-flooded her old being like sudden sunshine. Amid all the griefs and
-disappointments to which such a soul is liable, there remains to one now
-and then the tender and generous delight of seeing others do by her as
-she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76">{76}</a></span> would have done by them. How sweet it is; before all delight in
-gifts, or even in affection! We think of the golden rule more often in
-the way of a command, employing it to touch our own souls to languid
-duty; but there are occasions when it is given back to us, so to speak,
-in the way of recompense, vivified and quickened into rapture. This old
-woman had practised it as she could all her life, and others had not
-done to her as she had done to them; but here, at the end of her
-existence, came one&mdash;her reward, one heir of her nature, one issue of
-her soul. Thus she had her glimpse of heaven in the very moment of her
-lowest humiliation. She had done little personally for
-him&mdash;little&mdash;nothing&mdash;except to harm him; but she had done much for
-others, sacrificing herself that they might live, and the stranger, in
-whose training she had had no hand, who had with her no link of union
-but the mystic tie of blood, gave back to her full measure, heaped up,
-and running over. I must leave to the imagination of the reader the keen
-satisfaction and joy, sharp and poignant almost as pain, with which this
-aged soul, worn out and weary, received full in her heart, all at once,
-as by a shot or thunderbolt, the unthought of, unhoped-for recompense.</p>
-
-<p>The men, as I have said, were the first to reconcile themselves to the
-sudden revolution. If any thrill of shame came over them, it was
-instantly quenched, and ceased to influence the hardened mail, beaten by
-much vicissitude of weather, which covered them. The women were
-thinner-skinned, so to speak, more easily touched in their pride, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77">{77}</a></span>
-were sensible of the irony with which, half-consciously to himself,
-Edgar had spoken. But, perhaps, the person most painfully affected of
-all was the young doctor, who had listened to Edgar with a painful flush
-on his face, and with a pang of jealous pain and shame, not easy to
-bear. He went up to the old lady as soon as the discussion was over, and
-sat down close by her, and held a long conversation in an undertone.</p>
-
-<p>“Grandmother,” he said, the flush returning and covering his face with
-painful heat, “you do not think me ungrateful or slow to interfere? You
-know it is not want of will, but want of means. You know&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Charlie, was I asking anything, that you speak so to me? I know you
-could not interfere. You are in their debt still, poor lad?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I am in their debt still. I don’t know how to get out of it; it
-grinds me to the ground!” cried the young man. “But what can I do?”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Murray patted his hand softly with her old worn fingers; but she
-was silent, with that silence which the weak nature, eager for
-approbation, but unable to make a bold effort after good, feels so
-profoundly.</p>
-
-<p>“You don’t say anything,” said Dr. Charles, with a mixture of petulance.
-“You think I might have done more?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, Charlie, no,” said the old woman; “as you say not. I would be glad
-to see you free of this bondage; but you must know best yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is so much to do,” said the young doctor. “I must get a position.
-I must make an<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78">{78}</a></span> appearance like others in my profession. So many things
-are necessary that you never think of here in a country place; and you
-know Margaret has no health to speak of. There is so much expense in
-every way.”</p>
-
-<p>“She was always handless,” said Mrs. Murray. “She should come to me with
-little Bell, and let you take your chance. Living costs but little here,
-and what is enough for one is enough for two,” said the old woman, with
-her perennial and instinctive liberality of heart.</p>
-
-<p>“Enough for one! Jeanie is going to leave you then, as the Campbells
-told me,” said the young man hastily. “He is to marry her as they said?”</p>
-
-<p>“I ken nothing about marrying or giving in marriage,” said the
-grandmother, with some severity of tone. “If that is still in your mind,
-Charlie&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It is not in my mind&mdash;it was never in my mind,” he said with an
-eagerness which was almost passionate. “She has a lovely face, but she
-never was or could be a fit wife for a man in my position. There never
-was anything in that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Charlie, my man, you think too much of your position,” said the old
-woman, shaking her head; “and if there was nothing in it, why should you
-gloom and bend your brows at the <i>thought</i> that Edgar might care for the
-bonnie face as well as you? He does not, more’s the pity.”</p>
-
-<p>“And why should you say more’s the pity? Do you want to be rid of
-Jeanie? Do you want to be left alone?”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m but a bruised reed for anyone to trust to,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79">{79}</a></span>” she said. “Soon, soon
-I’ll have passed away, and the place that now knows me will know me no
-more. I would be glad to see my poor bairn in somebody’s hand that would
-last longer than me.”</p>
-
-<p>A momentary flush of strong feeling passed over the young man’s face.</p>
-
-<p>“Grandmother,” he said, “you were too good to me. If I had been bred a
-farmer like yourself&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You would have made but a weirdless farmer, Charlie, my man. It’s not
-the trade that does it,” said Mrs. Murray, with some sadness. “But
-Marg’ret had better come to me. She may hinder you, but she’ll no help
-you. The bairns are maybe right; I was injudicious, Charlie, and grieved
-for you that were all delicate things without a mother. I should have
-known better. You are little able to fend for yourselves in this world,
-either Marg’ret or you.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know why you should say so, grandmother. I am making my way in
-my profession,” said Dr. Charles, not without offence, “and Margaret is
-very greatly thought of, and asked to the best houses. If you have
-nothing more to blame yourself with than you have in our case&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Murray sighed, but she made no answer. It was not for nothing that
-her daughters had reproached her. Charles Murray and his sister Margaret
-had been the two youngest of the flock, her eldest son Tom’s children,
-whom the brave old woman had taken into her house, and brought up<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80">{80}</a></span> with
-the labour of her own hands. The others were scattered about the world,
-fighting their way in all regions; but Charlie and Margaret had been as
-apples of her eye. She had done everything for them, bringing up the son
-to a learned profession, and “making a lady of” the gentle and pretty
-girl, who was of a stock less robust than the other Murrays. And as Mrs.
-Murray had no patent of exemption from the failures that follow
-sometimes the best efforts, she had not succeeded in this case. Charles
-Murray, without being absolutely unsuccessful, had fulfilled none of the
-high hopes entertained concerning him; and Margaret had made a foolish
-marriage, and had been left in a few years a penniless widow dependent
-upon her brother. No one knew exactly what the two were doing now. They
-were “genteel” and “weirdless,” living, it was feared, above their
-means, and making no attempt to pay back the money which had been lent
-by their wealthier friends to set the young doctor afloat.</p>
-
-<p>This was why the children she had trained so carefully could give their
-old mother no help. Margaret had cried bitterly when she heard that the
-old home was about to be broken up, and Charles’s heart was torn with a
-poignant sense of inability to help. But the tears and the pain would
-have done Mrs. Murray little good, and they were not of any profound
-importance to the brother and sister, both of whom were capable of some
-new piece of extravagance next day by way of consoling themselves. But
-though Mrs. Murray was not aware of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81">{81}</a></span> it, the sharp shock of Edgar’s
-unlooked-for munificence towards her, and the jealousy and shame with
-which Dr. Charles witnessed it, was the most salutary accident that had
-happened to him all his life. The contrast of his own conduct, he who
-was so deeply indebted to her, and that of his unknown cousin, gave such
-a violent concussion to all his nerves as the young man had never felt
-before; and whatever might be the after result of this shock, its
-present issue was not agreeable. A sullen shadow came over him at the
-homely dinner to which they all sat down with such changed feelings. He
-had been the only one to whom Edgar had turned instinctively for
-sympathy, and Edgar was the first to feel this change. James Murray and
-Robert Campbell were the only two who kept up the languid conversation,
-and their talk, we need not add, was not of a very elevated kind.</p>
-
-<p>“The mutton’s good, mother,” said James; “you’ve aye good mutton at Loch
-Arroch; not like the stuff that’s vended to us at I canna tell how much
-the pound. That’s a great advantage you have in the country. Your own
-mutton, or next thing to it; your own fowls and eggs, and all that. You
-should go on keeping poultry; you were a very good henwife in the old
-days, when we were all young; and there’s nothing that sells better than
-new-laid eggs and spring chickens. Though you give up the farm, I would
-advise you to keep them on still.”</p>
-
-<p>“And I would not wonder but you might have grass enough for a cow,” said
-Campbell. “A co<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82">{82}</a></span>w’s a great thing in a house. There’s aye the milk
-whatever happens, and a pickle butter is never lost. It sells at as much
-as eighteen pence a pound on the other side of the loch, when those
-Glasgow people are down for the saut water. Asking your pardon, Agnes, I
-was not meaning the like of you; there are plenty Glasgow people that
-are very decent folk, but it cannot be denied that they make everything
-very dear.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what is that but an advantage to everybody as long as we can pay,
-aye, the double if we like?” cried Mrs. MacKell, forgetting her previous
-plea of comparative poverty. “We like everything of the best, I don’t
-deny it; and who has a better right, seeing our men work hard for every
-penny they make?”</p>
-
-<p>“For that matter so do the colliers and that kind of cattle, that
-consume all they earn in eating and drinking,” said Campbell. “I like a
-good dinner myself; but the way you Glasgow folk give yourselves up to
-it, beats me. That’s little to the purpose, however, in the present
-case. James’s advice is very good advice, and so you’ll find is mine. I
-would not object to being at the expense of buying in that bonnie brown
-cow, the one you fancied, Jean&mdash;women are aye fanciful in these
-matters&mdash;if there will be anybody about the house that could supper and
-milk a cow?”</p>
-
-<p>He looked doubtfully at Jeanie as he spoke, and they all looked at her,
-some suspiciously, some contemptuously. They all seemed to Jeanie to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83">{83}</a></span>
-reproach her that she was not a strong, robust “lass” ready to help her
-grandmother.</p>
-
-<p>“I can milk Brounie; she’s so gentle,” said Jeanie, half under her
-breath, looking wistfully at her critics. James Murray uttered a
-suppressed “humph!”</p>
-
-<p>“A bonnie young woman for a farm-house!” he said, “that can milk a cow
-when it’s gentle. I hope you’ll save the lad’s siller as much as
-possible, mother; no running into your old ways, taking folk into your
-bosom, or entertaining strangers on the smallest provocation, as you
-used to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“I hope my grandmother will do precisely as she likes&mdash;in the way that
-pleases her best,” said Edgar with emphasis.</p>
-
-<p>“I am saying,” said Campbell with emphasis, “a cow; and the cocks and
-hens, according to James. An honest penny is aye a good thing, however
-it’s got. If young Glen gets the farm, as is likely, he’ll be wanting a
-lodging till the new house is built. I would take the lad in and give
-him accommodation, if it was me. In short, there’s a variety of things
-that would be little trouble, and would show a desire to make the best
-of what’s given you; and any assistance that I can be of, or Jean&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh my mother’s above my help or yours either,” said Mrs. Campbell, with
-some bitterness. “You need not push yourself in, Rob, when neither you
-nor me are wanted.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Murray listened to all this with grave patience and forbearance.
-She smiled faintly at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84">{84}</a></span> her daughter’s petulance, and shook her head.
-“Bairns,” she said, gently, “I guided my own concerns before you were
-born.” It was the only reproof she attempted to administer, and it was
-followed by a pause, during which the sound of knives and forks was very
-audible, each individual of the party plying his as for a wager, in the
-sudden stillness which each affronted person thought it doubly incumbent
-on him and her to keep up. Mrs. Murray looked round upon them all with a
-smile, which gradually softened into suppressed but genial humour. “I
-hope you are all making a good dinner,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>The afternoon after this passed as a Sunday afternoon often passes in a
-family gathering. They all stood a little on their defence, but, with a
-keen appreciation of the fact, that the mother, whom they all intended
-to advise and lecture, had certainly got the upper hand, and had been on
-the verge of laughing at them, if she had not actually done so, were
-prudent, and committed themselves no further. They all went out after
-dinner to see the site where the new farm-house was to be built, and to
-speculate on the way in which young Glen would manage the farm, and
-whether he would succeed better than its previous occupant. The women of
-the party visited “the beasts,” as the men had done before dinner, and
-the men strolled out to the fields, and weighed in their hands the damp
-ears of corn, and shook their heads over the length of the straw, and
-pointed out to each other how badly the fields were arranged, and how
-the crops<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85">{85}</a></span> had been repeated year after year. “It’s time it was all in
-other hands,” they said to each other. As for Dr. Charles, he avoided
-the other members of the party&mdash;the uncles who might ask for the money
-they had lent him, and the aunts who might inquire with an undue
-closeness of criticism into his proceedings and those of his sister. He
-sat and talked with his grandmother in the parlour, answering her
-questions, and making conversation with her in a way which was somewhat
-formal. In short, it was very like a Sunday afternoon&mdash;and the sense of
-being in their best clothes, and having nothing to do, and being, as it
-were, bound over to keep the peace, was very wearisome to all these good
-people. The little excitement of pulling to pieces, so to speak, the
-house which had sheltered and reared them, was over, and thus a certain
-flat of disappointment and everyday monotony mingled with the sense of
-something unusual which was in their meeting. Their purpose was foiled
-altogether, and the business <i>manqué</i>, yet they could not but profess
-pleasure in the unexpected turn that things had taken. It was very like
-a Sunday afternoon.</p>
-
-<p>And it is impossible to tell what a relief it was to all, when the big
-fishing-boat came heavily round the corner with the picnic party, and
-Jeanie, in her plain brown frock, ran down to the landing to bid her
-cousins come into tea. There were some six or seven in the boat,
-slightly damp and limp, but in high spirits; three of whom were girls,
-much more gaily dressed than Jeanie, yet with a certain general
-resemblance to her. They all rushed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86">{86}</a></span> fluttering in their gay ribbons up
-to the farm-house, glad of the novelty, and threw themselves upon
-“Granny,” whom they admired without the criticism in which their mother
-indulged less than her brothers and sisters. They did not take much
-notice of Jeanie, but Dr. Charles was full of interest for them, and the
-unknown Edgar, who was still more emphatically “a gentleman,” excited
-their intensest curiosity. “Where is he? which is him?” they whispered
-to each other; and when Bell, the youngest, exclaimed with
-disappointment, that he was just like Charlie Murray, and nothing
-particular after all, her two elder sisters snubbed her at once. “If you
-cannot see the difference you should hold your tongue,” said Jeanie
-MacKell, who called herself Jane, and had been to a school in England,
-crowning glory of a Scotch girl on her promotion. “Not but what Charles
-is very nice-looking, and quite a gentleman,” said Margaret, more
-meekly, who was the second daughter. The presence of these girls, and of
-the young men in attendance upon them, to wit Andrew, their brother, and
-two friends of his own class, young men for whom natural good looks did
-not do so much as for the young women, and who were, perhaps, better
-educated, without being half so presentable&mdash;made the tea-table much
-merrier and less embarrassed than the dinner had been. The MacKells
-ended by being all enthralled by Edgar, whose better manners told upon
-them, (as a higher tone always tells upon women,) whose superiority to
-their former attendants was clear as daylight, and who was not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87">{87}</a></span> stiff
-and afraid to commit himself like Charles Murray; “quite a gentleman,”
-though they all held the latter to be. As for Edgar himself, he was so
-heartily thankful for the relief afforded by this in-road of fresh
-guests, that he was willing to think the very best of his cousins, and
-to give them credit&mdash;that is the female part of them&mdash;for being the best
-of the family he had yet seen. He walked with them to their boat, and
-put them in, when sunset warned them to cross the loch without delay,
-and laughingly excused himself from accepting their eager invitations,
-only on the ground that “business” demanded his departure on the next
-day. Mrs. MacKell took him aside before she embarked, and shook his hand
-with tears gathering in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I could not say anything before them all,” she said, with an emotion
-which was partly real; “but I’ll never forget what you’ve done for my
-mother&mdash;and oh, what a comfort it is to me to think I leave her in her
-ain old house! God bless you for it!”</p>
-
-<p>“Good-bye,” said Edgar, cheerily, and he stood on the banks and watched
-the boat with a smile. True feeling enough, perhaps, and yet how oddly
-mingled! He laughed to himself as he went back to the house with an
-uneasy, mingling of pain and shame.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88">{88}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.<br /><br />
-<small>Gentility.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Charles Murray</span> did not return to the Campbells’ house for the night as
-he had originally intended. The relatives were all out of sorts with
-each other, and inclined to quarrel among themselves in consequence of
-the universal discomfiture which had come upon them, not from each
-others’ hands, but from the stranger in their midst. And as it was quite
-possible that Campbell, being sore and irritable, might avenge himself
-by certain inquiries into Dr. Charles’s affairs, the young man thought
-it wiser on the whole to keep out of his way. And the grandmother’s
-house was common property. Although only a few hours before they had all
-made up their minds that it was to be no longer hers, and that she
-thenceforward was to be their dependent, the moment that she became
-again certain of being mistress in her own house, that very moment all
-her family returned to their ancient conviction that they had a right to
-its shelter and succour under all and every kind of circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>James Murray went away arranging in his own mind that he would send his
-youngest daughter “across” before the winter came on, “to get her
-strength up.” “One bairn makes little difference in the way of meals,
-and she can bring some tea and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89">{89}</a></span> sugar in a present,” he said to himself;
-while Dr. Charles evidenced still more instantaneously the family
-opinion by saying at once that he should stay where he was till
-to-morrow.</p>
-
-<p>“It seems much more natural to be here than in any other house,” he said
-caressingly to his grandmother.</p>
-
-<p>She smiled, but she made no reply. Even, she liked it, for the position
-of a superior dispensing favours had been natural to her all her life,
-and the power to retain this position was not one of the least
-advantages that Edgar’s liberality gave her. But even while she liked
-it, she saw through the much less noble sentiment of her descendants,
-and a passing pang mingled with her pleasure. She said nothing to Dr.
-Charles; but when Edgar gave her his arm for the brief evening walk
-which she took before going to rest, she made to him a curious apology
-for the rest. Charles was standing on the loch-side looking out,
-half-jealous that it was Edgar who naturally took charge of the old
-mother, and half glad to escape out of Edgar’s way.</p>
-
-<p>“We mustna judge them by ourselves,” she said, in a deprecating tone.
-“Charlie was aye a weak lad, meaning no harm&mdash;and used to depend upon
-somebody. Edgar, they are <i>not</i> to be judged like you and me.”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Edgar, with a smile; then rapidly passing from the subject
-which he could not enter on. “Does he want to marry Jeanie?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“That I canna tell&mdash;that I do not know. He cannot keep his eyes off her
-bonnie face; but, Edgar,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90">{90}</a></span> the poor lad has strange fancies. He has taken
-it into his head to be genteel&mdash;and Marg’ret, poor thing, is genteel.”</p>
-
-<p>“What has that to do with it?” said Edgar, laughing.</p>
-
-<p>“We are not genteel, Jeanie and me,” said the old woman, with a gleam of
-humour. “But, Edgar, my man, still you must not judge Charlie. You are a
-gentleman, that nobody could have any doubt of; but the danger of being
-a poor man’s son, and brought up to be a gentleman, is that you’re never
-sure of yourself. You are always in a fear to know if you are behaving
-right&mdash;if you are doing something you ought not to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then, perhaps,” said Edgar, “my cousin would have been happier if he
-had not been brought up, as you say, to be a gentleman.”</p>
-
-<p>“What could I make him? Farming’s but a poor trade for them that have
-little capital and little energy. Maybe you will say a Minister? but
-it’s a responsibility bringing up a young man to be a Minister, when
-maybe he will have no turn that way but just seek a priest’s office for
-a piece of bread. A good doctor serves both God and man; and Charlie is
-not an ill doctor,” she added, hurriedly. “His very weakness gives him a
-soft manner, and as he’s aye on the outlook whether he’s pleasing you or
-not, it makes him quick to notice folk’s feelings in general. Sick men,
-and still more sick women, like that.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are a philosopher, grandmother,” said Edgar.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91">{91}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Na, na, not that,” said the old woman; “but at seventy you must ken
-something of your fellow-creature’s ways, or you must be a poor creature
-indeed.”</p>
-
-<p>Meanwhile Charles Murray had gone back to the house, and was talking to
-Jeanie, who for some reason which she did not herself quite divine, had
-been shy of venturing out this special evening with the others. Perhaps
-the young doctor thought she was waiting for him. At all events it was a
-relief to go and talk to one in whom no criticism could be.</p>
-
-<p>“You feel quite strong and well again, Jeanie?” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, quite strong and well&mdash;quite better,” she said, looking up at
-him with that soft smile of subjection and dependence which most people
-to whom it is addressed find so sweet.</p>
-
-<p>“You should not say quite better,” he said, smiling too, though the
-phrase would by times steal even from his own educated lips. “I wonder
-sometimes, Jeanie, after passing some months in England as you did, that
-you should still continue so Scotch. I like it, of course&mdash;in a way.”</p>
-
-<p>Here Jeanie, whose face had overcast, brightened again and smiled&mdash;a
-smile which this time, however, did not arrest him in his critical
-career.</p>
-
-<p>“I like it, in a way,” said Charles, doubtfully. “Here on Loch Arroch
-side it is very sweet, and appropriate to the place; but if you were
-going out&mdash;into the world, Jeanie.”</p>
-
-<p>“No fear of that,” said Jeanie, with a soft laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“On the contrary, there is much fear of it&mdash;or<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92">{92}</a></span> much hope of it, I
-should say. There are many men who would give all they have in the world
-for a smile from your sweet face. I mean,” said the young man,
-withdrawing half a step backward, and toning himself down from this
-extravagance, “I mean that there is no doubt you could marry
-advantageously&mdash;if you liked to exert yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“You should not speak like that to me,” cried Jeanie, with a sudden hot
-flush; “there is nothing of the kind in my head.”</p>
-
-<p>“Say your mind, not your head, Jeanie; and like the dear good girl you
-are, say head, not <i>heed</i>,” said Dr. Charles with a curious mixture of
-annoyance and admiration; and then he added, drawing closer. “Jeanie, do
-you not think you would like to go to school?”</p>
-
-<p>“To school? I am not a little bairn,” said Jeanie with some indignation,
-“I have had my schooling, all that Granny thought I wanted. Besides,”
-she continued proudly, “I must look after Granny now.”</p>
-
-<p>“She has asked Margaret to come to her,” said the young man, “and don’t
-you think, Jeanie, if you could be sent to a school for a time&mdash;not to
-learn much you know, not for lessons or anything of that kind; but to
-get more used to the world, and to what you would have to encounter if
-you went into the world&mdash;and perhaps to get a few accomplishments, a
-little French, or the piano, or something like that?”</p>
-
-<p>“What would I do, learning French and the piano?” said Jeanie; her
-countenance had over-clouded during the first part of his speech, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93">{93}</a></span>
-gradually gave way to wonder and amusement as he went on. “Are you
-thinking of Jeanie MacKell who can play tunes, and speak such fine
-English? Granny would not like that, and neither would I.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Granny is not the only person in the world,” he said, “there are
-others who would like it. Men like it, Jeanie; they like to see their
-wife take her place with anyone, and you cannot always be with
-Granny&mdash;you will marry some day.”</p>
-
-<p>Jeanie’s fair soft countenance glowed like the setting sun, a bright and
-tender consciousness lit up her features; her blue eyes shone. Dr.
-Charles, who had his back to the loch, as he stood at the farm-house
-door, did not perceive that Edgar had come into sight with Mrs. Murray
-leaning on his arm.</p>
-
-<p>“May-be all that may be true,” said Jeanie, “I cannot tell; but in the
-meantime I cannot leave Granny, for Granny has nobody but me.”</p>
-
-<p>“She has asked my sister Margaret, as I told you&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Margaret instead of me!” said Jeanie, with a slight tone of wonder.</p>
-
-<p>“It is strange how disagreeable you all are to my sister,” said Dr.
-Charles with some impatience. “It need not be instead of you; but Granny
-has asked Margaret, and she and the little one will come perhaps before
-winter sets in&mdash;the change would do them good. I should be left alone
-then,” he said, softening, “and if Margaret stays with Granny, I should
-be left always alone. Jeanie, if you would but get a little education
-and polish,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94">{94}</a></span> and make yourself more like what a man wishes his wife to
-be&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Jeanie was looking behind him all the time with a vague dreamy smile
-upon her face. “If that is a’ he wants!” she said dreamily to herself.
-She was thinking not of the man before her, whose heart, such as it was,
-was full of her image; but of the other man approaching, who did not
-think of Jeanie except as a gentle and affectionate child. If that was
-a’ he wanted! though even in her imaginative readiness to find
-everything sublime that Edgar did, there passed through Jeanie’s mind a
-vague pang to think that he would pay more regard to French and the
-piano, than to her tender enthusiast passion, the innocent adoration of
-her youth.</p>
-
-<p>“If you would do that, Jeanie&mdash;to please me!” said the unconscious young
-Doctor, taking her hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Here is Granny coming,” said Jeanie hastily, “and&mdash;Mr. Edgar. Go ben
-the house, please, and never mind me. I have to see that the rooms are
-right and all ready. Are you tired, Granny? You have had a sore day. Mr.
-Edgar, say good night to her now, she ought to go to her bed.”</p>
-
-<p>Thus Dr. Charles was thrust aside at the moment when he was about to
-commit himself. Jeanie put him away as if he had been a ploughman, or
-she a fine lady used to the fine art of easy impertinence. So little
-thought had she of him at all, that she was not aware of the
-carelessness with which she had received his semi-declaration, and while
-he with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95">{95}</a></span>drew stung all over as by mental nettles, abashed, insulted, and
-furious, she went innocently upstairs, without the faintest idea of the
-offence she had given. And Edgar went into the parlour after his cousin
-humming an air, with the freshness of the fields about him. The
-<i>insouciance</i> of the one who had that day given away his living, and the
-disturbed and nervous trouble of the other, self-conscious to his very
-finger points, irritated by a constant notion that he was despised and
-lightly thought of, made the strangest possible contrast between them,
-notwithstanding a certain family resemblance in their looks.</p>
-
-<p>“I am staying to-night,” said Dr. Charles, with a certain abruptness,
-and that tone of irritated apology which mingled more or less in all he
-said, “because it is too late for me to get home.”</p>
-
-<p>“And I am staying,” said Edgar, “because it is too late to start, I must
-go to-morrow. I suppose our road lies so far in the same direction.”</p>
-
-<p>“You can get the London express at Glasgow, or even Greenock. I am going
-to Edinburgh.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have business in Edinburgh too,” said Edgar. He was so good-humoured,
-so friendly, that it was very hard to impress upon him the fact that his
-companion regarded him in no friendly light.</p>
-
-<p>“You will leave the loch with very pleasant feelings,” said Dr. Charles,
-“very different to the rest of us. Fortune has given you the
-superiority. What I would have done and couldn’t, you have been able to
-do. It is hard not to grudge a little at such an advantage. The man who
-has nothing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96">{96}</a></span> feels himself always so inferior to the man who has
-something, however small.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think so?” said Edgar, “my experience would not lead me to that
-conclusion; and few people can have greater experience. Once I supposed
-myself to be rather rich. I tumbled down from that all in a moment, and
-now I have nothing at all; but it seems to me I am the same man as when
-I was a small potentate in my way, thinking rather better than worse of
-myself, if truth must be told,” he added with a laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“I wish I had your nothing at all,” said Dr. Charles, bitterly; “to us
-really poor people that is much, which seems little to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said Edgar, with a shrug of his shoulders, “my poverty is
-absolute, not comparative now. And you have a profession, while I have
-none. On the whole, whatever there may be to choose between us, you must
-have the best of it; for to tell the truth I am in the dismal position
-of not knowing what to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“To do! what does it matter? you have enough to live upon.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have nothing to live upon,” said Edgar, with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>The young men looked at each other, one with a half-amusement in his
-face, the other full of wonder and consternation. “You don’t mean to
-say,” he asked, with a gasp, “that you have given her all?”</p>
-
-<p>“I have no income left,” said Edgar. “I have some debts, unfortunately,
-like most men. Now a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97">{97}</a></span> man who has no income has no right to have any
-debts. That is about my sole maxim in political economy. I must pay them
-off, and then I shall have fifty pounds or so left.”</p>
-
-<p>“Good heavens!” said the other, “and you take this quite easily without
-anxiety&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Anxiety will not put anything in my pocket, or teach me a profession,”
-said Edgar. “Don’t let’s talk of it, ‘Sufficient unto the day is the
-evil there-of.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p>“But,” cried the other, almost wildly, “in that case all of us&mdash;I too&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t say anything more about it,” said Edgar. “We all act according to
-impulses. Perhaps it is well for those who have no impulses; but one
-cannot help one’s self. I should like to start by the early boat
-to-morrow morning, and before I go I have something to say to Jeanie.”</p>
-
-<p>“I fear I am in your way,” cried Dr. Charles, rising hastily, with the
-feeling, which was rather pleasant to him than otherwise, that at last
-he had a real reason for taking offence.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, dear no, not at all. It is only to give her some advice about our
-old mother,” said Edgar; but they both reddened as they stood fronting
-each other, Charles from wild and genuine jealousy&mdash;Edgar, from a
-disagreeable and impatient consciousness of the silly speeches which had
-associated his name with that of Jeanie. He stood for a moment
-uncertain, and then his natural frankness broke forth, “Look here,” he
-said, “don’t let us make any mistake. I don’t know what your feelings<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98">{98}</a></span>
-may be about Jeanie, but mine are those of an elder brother&mdash;a very much
-elder brother,” he went on, with a laugh, “to a child.”</p>
-
-<p>“Every man says that, until the moment comes when he feels differently,”
-said Charles, in his uneasy didactic way.</p>
-
-<p>“Does he? then that moment will never come for me,” said Edgar,
-carelessly.</p>
-
-<p>Poor little Jeanie! she had opened the door, the two young men not
-observing her in their preoccupation, and Edgar’s words came fully into
-her heart like a volley of musketry. She stood behind them for a moment
-in the partial gloom&mdash;for they were standing between her and the light
-of the feeble candles&mdash;unnoticed, holding the door. Then noiselessly she
-stole back, closing it, her heart all riddled by that chance discharge,
-wounded and bleeding. Then she went to the kitchen softly, and called
-Bell. “My head’s sair,” she said, which on Loch Arroch means, my head
-aches. “Will you see if they want anything in the parlour, Bell?”</p>
-
-<p>“My poor lamb!” said Bell, “I wish it beena your heart that’s sair. Ye
-are as white as a ghost. Go to your bed, my bonnie woman, and I’ll see
-after them, Lord bless us, what a bit white face! Go to your bed, and
-dinna let your Granny see you like that. Oh ay! I’ll see to the two
-men.”</p>
-
-<p>Jeanie crept up-stairs like a mouse, noiseless in the dark staircase.
-She needed no light, and to hide herself seemed so much the most natural
-thing to do. White! Jeanie felt as if her face must be scorched as her
-heart seemed to be. Why should<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99">{99}</a></span> he have volunteered this profession of
-indifference? It seemed so much the worse because it was uncalled for.
-Did anyone say he cared for her? Had any one accused him of being “fond”
-of Jeanie? Shame seemed to take possession of the little soft creature.
-Had she herself done anything to put such a degrading idea into his
-mind? Why should he care for her? “I never asked him&mdash;I never wanted
-him,” poor Jeanie cried to herself.</p>
-
-<p>Edgar never knew the second great effect he had produced on this
-eventful day. When Jeanie appeared at the early breakfast before he set
-out next morning, he was honestly concerned to see how pale she looked.
-“My poor dear child, you are ill,” he cried, drawing her towards him,
-and his look of anxious kindness struck poor Jeanie like a blow.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m not ill. It’s my head. It’s nothing,” she said, starting away from
-him. Edgar looked at her with mild astonished eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“You are not vexed with me this last morning? Take care of the dear old
-mother, Jeanie&mdash;but I know you will do that&mdash;and write to me sometimes
-to say she is well; and talk of me sometimes, as you promised&mdash;you
-remember?”</p>
-
-<p>His kind friendly words broke Jeanie’s heart. “Oh, how can you look so
-pleased and easy in your mind!” she said, turning, as was natural, the
-irritation of her personal pain into the first possible channel, “when
-you know you are going away without a penny, for our sake&mdash;for her
-sake<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100">{100}</a></span>&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“And yours,” Edgar added cheerily. “That is what makes me easy in my
-mind.”</p>
-
-<p>And he smiled, and took both her hands, and kissed her on the forehead,
-a salutation which made little Scotch Jeanie&mdash;little used to such
-caresses&mdash;flame crimson with shame. Charles Murray looked on with sullen
-fury. He dared not do as much. This way of saying farewell was not
-cousinly or brotherly to him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101">{101}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.<br /><br />
-<small>A Railway Journey: The Scotch Express.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The</span> two young men set out together from Loch Arroch. The old lady whose
-children they both were, waved her handkerchief to them from her window
-as the steamer rustled down the loch, and round the windy corner of the
-stubble field into Loch Long. They stood on the deck, and gazed at the
-quiet scene they were leaving till the farmhouse and the ruin died out
-of sight. How peaceful it all looked in the bright but watery sunshine!
-The ivy waving softly from the walls of the ruin, the smoke rising blue
-from the roof of the farmhouse, which nestled under the shadow of the
-old castle, the stooks standing in the pale field glistening with
-morning dew. Bell stood at the door in her short petticoats, shading her
-eyes with one hand as she watched them, and old Mrs. Murray showed a
-smiling, mournful face at her window, and the long branches of the
-fuchsias waved and made salutations with all their crimson bells. Even
-Bell’s shadow had a distinct importance in the scene, which was so
-still&mdash;still as the rural country is between mountain and water, with
-mysterious shadows flitting in the silence, and strange ripples upon the
-beach. The scene was still more sweet from the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102">{102}</a></span> shore, though not so
-entirely enveloped in this peaceable habitual calm; for great Benvohrlan
-was kept in constant life with moving clouds which crossed the sunshine;
-and the eyes of the spectators on the land did not disdain the bright,
-many-coloured boat, floating, as it seemed, between three elements&mdash;the
-water, the mountain, and the sky. The shadow-ship floated over the side
-of the shadow-hill among all the reflected shades; it floated double
-like the swan on St. Mary’s Lake, and it was hard to tell which was the
-reality and which the symbol. Such were the variations of the scene from
-the loch and from the shore.</p>
-
-<p>But though Bell was visible and Bell’s mistress, Jeanie was not to be
-seen. She had disappeared within the ruins of the Castle, and watched
-the boat from behind an old block of masonry, with eyes full of longing
-and sadness. Why had she been so harsh, so hard? Why had she not parted
-with him “friends?” What did it matter what he said, so long as he said
-that he looked upon her as an elder brother? Was it not better to be
-Edgar’s sister than any other man’s beloved? She cried, reflecting sadly
-that she had not been so kind, so gentle as she ought to this man who
-was so unlike all others. Like an elder brother&mdash;what more could she
-wish for? Thus poor little Jeanie began to dree her fate.</p>
-
-<p>The day was fine, notwithstanding the prophecy of “saft weather” with
-which all the observers of sea and sky in the West of Scotland keep up
-their character as weather prophets as Edgar and Charles<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103">{103}</a></span> Murray
-travelled to Edinburgh. There was no subject of quarrel between them,
-therefore they did not quarrel; indeed Edgar, for his part, was amused,
-when he was not pained, by his cousin’s perpetual self-consciousness and
-painful desire to keep up his profession of gentleman, and conduct
-himself in all details of behaviour as a gentleman should. The young
-Doctor nervously unbuttoned his over-coat, which was much more spruce
-and glossy than Edgar’s, when he observed that his companion, never a
-model of neatness or order, wore his loose. He looked with nervous
-observation at Edgar’s portmanteau, at the shape and size of his
-umbrella. Edgar had lived in the great world; he had been (or so at
-least his cousin thought) fashionable; therefore Dr. Charles gave a
-painful regard to all the minutiæ of his appearance. Thus a trim poor
-girl might copy a tawdry duchess, knowing no better&mdash;might, but seldom
-does, having a better instinct. But if any one had breathed into Charles
-Murray’s ear a suggestion of what he was consciously (yet almost against
-his will) doing, he would have forgiven an accusation of crime more
-readily. He knew his own weakness, and the knowledge made him wretched;
-but had any one else suspected it, that would have been the height of
-insult, and would have roused him to desperate passion.</p>
-
-<p>Thus they travelled together, holding but little communication. The
-young Doctor’s destination was one of the smaller stations before they
-reached Edinburgh, where Edgar saw, as the train approached, a graceful
-young woman, with that air of refinement<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104">{104}</a></span> which a slim and tall figure
-gives, but too far off to be recognizable, accompanied by a little
-girl&mdash;waiting by the roadside in a little open carriage, half phaeton,
-half gig.</p>
-
-<p>“Is that your sister?” he asked, taking off his hat, as the lady waved
-her hand towards them.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Dr. Charles, shortly, and he added, in his usual tone of
-apology, “a doctor can do nothing without a conveyance, and as I had to
-get one, and Margaret is so delicate, it was better to have something in
-which she could drive with me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Surely,” said Edgar, with some wonder at the appealing tone in which
-this half statement, half question was made. But a little sigh came from
-his heart, against his will, as he saw Charles Murray’s welcome, and
-felt himself rolled away into the cold, into the unknown, without any
-one to bear him company. He too had once had, or thought he had, a
-sister, and enjoyed for a short time that close, tender, and familiar
-friendship which only can exist between a young man and woman when they
-are thus closely related. Edgar, who was foolishly soft-hearted, had
-gone about the world ever since, missing this, without knowing what it
-was he missed. He was fond of the society of women, and he had been shut
-out from it; for he neither wished to marry, nor was rich enough so to
-indulge himself, and people with daughters, as he found, were not so
-anxious to invite a poor man, nor so complacent towards him as they had
-been when he was rich. To be sure he had met women as he had met men at
-the foreign towns which he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105">{105}</a></span> had chiefly frequented during the aimless
-years just past; but these were chiefly old campaigners, with all the
-freshness dried out of them, ground down into the utmost narrowness of
-limit in which the mind is capable of being restrained, or else at the
-opposite extreme, liberated in an alarming way from all the decorums and
-prejudices of life. Neither of these classes were attractive, though
-they amused him, each in its way.</p>
-
-<p>But somehow the sight of his two cousins, brother and sister, gave him a
-pang which was all the sharper for being entirely unexpected. It made
-him feel his own forlornness and solitude, how cut off he was from all
-human solace and companionship. Into his ancient surroundings he could
-not return; and his present family, the only one which he had any claim
-upon, was distasteful beyond description. Even his grandmother and
-Jeanie, whom he had known longest, and with whom he felt a certain
-sympathy, were people so entirely out of his sphere, that his
-intercourse with them never could be easy nor carried on on equal terms.
-He admired Mrs. Murray’s noble character, and was proud to have been
-able to stand by her against her sordid relations; he even loved her in
-a way, but did not, could not adopt the ways of thinking, the manners
-and forms of existence, which were natural and seemly in the little
-farm-house.</p>
-
-<p>As for Jeanie, poor, gentle, pretty Jeanie! A slight flush came over
-Edgar’s face as her name occurred to him; he was no lady-killer, proud
-to think that he had awakened a warmer feeling than<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106">{106}</a></span> was safe for her in
-the girl’s heart. On the contrary, he was not only pained, but ashamed
-of himself for the involuntary consciousness which he never put into
-words, that perhaps it was better for Jeanie that he should go away. He
-dismissed the thought, feeling hot and ashamed. Was it some latent
-coxcombry on his part that brought such an idea into his head?</p>
-
-<p>His business in Edinburgh was of a simple kind, to see the lawyer who
-had prepared the papers for the transfer of his little income, and who,
-knowing his history, was curious and interested in him, asked him to
-dinner, and would have made much of the strange young man who had
-descended from the very height of prosperity, and now had denuded
-himself of the last humble revenue upon which he could depend.</p>
-
-<p>“I have ventured to express my disapproval, Mr. Earnshaw,” this good man
-had said; “but having done so, and cleared my conscience if&mdash;there is
-anything I can be of use to you in, tell me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing,” said Edgar; “but a thousand thanks for the goodwill, which is
-better than anything.”</p>
-
-<p>Then he went away, declining the invitation, and walked about Edinburgh
-in the dreamy solitude which began to be habitual to him, friendly and
-social as his nature was. In the evening he dined alone in one of the
-Princes Street hotels, near a window which looked out upon the Castle
-and the old town, all glimmering with lights in the soft darkness, which
-was just touched with frost. The irregular twinkle of the lights
-scattered about upon<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107">{107}</a></span> the fine bank of towers and spires and houses
-opposite; the dark depth below, where dark trees rustled, and stray
-lights gleamed here and there; the stream of traffic always pouring
-through the street below, notwithstanding the picturesque landscape on
-the other side&mdash;all attracted Edgar with the charm which they exercise
-on every sensitive mind. When the bugle sounded low and sweet up in
-mid-air from the Castle, he started up as if that visionary note had
-been for him. The darkness and the lights, the new and the old, seemed
-to him alike a dream, and he not less a dream pursuing his way between
-them, not sure which was real and which fictitious in his own life;
-which present and which past. The bugle called him&mdash;to what? Not to the
-sober limits of duty, to obedience and to rest, as it called the
-unwilling soldiers out of their riots and amusements; but perhaps to as
-real a world still unknown to him, compassed&mdash;like the dark Castle,
-standing deep in undistinguishable, rustling trees&mdash;with mists and
-dream-like uncertainty. Who has ever sat at a dark window looking out
-upon the gleaming, darkling crest of that old Edinburgh, with the crown
-of St. Giles hovering over it in the blue, and the Castle half way up to
-heaven, without feeling something weird and mystical beyond words, in
-the call of the bugle, sudden, sweet, and penetrating, out of the
-clouds? What Edgar had to do after the call of this bugle was no deed of
-high emprise. He had no princess to rescue, no dragon to kill. He got up
-with that half-laugh at himself and his own fancies which was habitual
-to him,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108">{108}</a></span> and paid his bill and collected his few properties, and went to
-the railway. Other people were beginning to go to bed; the shop windows
-were closing; the lights mounting higher from story to story. But a
-stream of people and carriages was pouring steadily down into the
-hollow, bound like himself, for the London Express. Edgar walked up
-naturally, mechanically to the window at which firstclass tickets were
-being issued. But while he waited his turn, his eye and his ear were
-attracted by a couple of women in the dress of an English Sisterhood,
-who were standing in front of him, holding a close conversation. One of
-them, at least, was in the nun’s costume of severe black and white; the
-other, a young slim figure, wore a black cloak and close bonnet, and was
-deeply veiled; but was not a “Sister,” though in dress closely
-approaching the garb. Edgar’s eyes however were not clever enough to
-make out this difference. The younger one seemed to him to have made
-some timid objection to the second class.</p>
-
-<p>“Second class, my dear!” said the elder. “I understand first class, and
-I understand third; but second is neither one thing nor another. No, my
-dear. If we profess to give up forms and ceremonies and the pomps of
-this world, let us do it thoroughly, or not at all. If you take second
-class, you will be put in with your friend’s maid and footman. No, no,
-no; third class is the thing.”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure. What am I thinking of?” said Edgar to himself, with his
-habitual smile. “Of course, third class is the thing.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109">{109}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>It had been from pure inadvertence that he had been about to take the
-most expensive place, nothing else having occurred to him. I do not know
-whether I can make the reader understand how entirely without
-bitterness, and, indeed, with how much amusement Edgar contemplated
-himself in his downfall and penniless condition, and what a joke he
-found it. For the moment rather a good joke&mdash;for, indeed, he had
-suffered nothing, his <i>amour propre</i> not being any way involved, and no
-immediate want of a five-pound note or a shilling having yet happened to
-him to ruffle his composure. He kept the two Sisters in sight as he went
-down the long stairs to the railway with his third-class ticket. He
-thought it possible that they might be exposed to some annoyance, two
-women in so strange a garb, and in a country where Sisterhoods have not
-yet developed, and where the rudeness of the vulgar is doubly rude,
-perhaps in contrast with, perhaps in consequence of (who knows?) the
-general higher level of education on which we Scotch plume ourselves.
-They had given him his first lesson in practical contempt of the world;
-he would give them the protection of his presence, at least, in case of
-any annoyance. Not to give them any reason, however, to suppose that he
-was following them, he waited for some minutes before he took his seat
-in a corner of the same carriage in which they had established
-themselves. He took off his hat, foreign fashion, as he went into the
-railway carriage (Edgar had many foreign fashions). At sight of him
-there seemed a little flutter of interest<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110">{110}</a></span> between the Sisters, and when
-he took his seat they bent their heads together, and talked long in
-whispers. The result of this was that the two changed seats, the younger
-one taking the further corner of the same seat on which he had placed
-himself; while the elder, a cheerful middle-aged woman, whose comely
-countenance became the close white cap, and whose pleasant smile did it
-honour, sat opposite to her companion.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot say that this arrangement pleased Edgar, for the other was
-young&mdash;a fact which betrayed itself rather by some subtle atmosphere
-about her than by any visible sign&mdash;and his curiosity was piqued and
-himself interested to see the veiled maiden. But, after all, the
-disappointment was not great, and he leaned back in the hard corner,
-saying to himself that the third class might be the thing, but was not
-very comfortable, without any particular dissatisfaction.</p>
-
-<p>Two other travellers, a woman and a boy, took their places opposite to
-him. They were people from London, who had gone to Scotland for the
-boy’s holidays after some illness, and they brought a bag of sandwiches
-with them and a bottle of bad sherry, of which they ate and drank as
-soon as the train started, preparing themselves for the night. Then
-these two went to sleep and snored, and Edgar, too, went partially to
-sleep, dozing between the stations, lying back in the corner which was
-so hard, and seeing the dim lamp sway, and the wooden box in which he
-was confined, creak, and jolt, and roll about as the train rushed on,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111">{111}</a></span>
-clamping and striding like a giant through the dark. What a curious,
-prolonged dream it was&mdash;the dim, uncertain light swaying like a light at
-sea, the figures dimly seen, immoveable, or turning uneasily like
-spectres in a fever, veiled figures, with little form visible under the
-swaying of the lamp; and now and then the sudden jar and pause, the
-unearthly and dissipated gleam from some miserable midnight station,
-where the porters ran about pale and yawning, and the whole sleepy,
-weary place did its best to thrust them on, and get rid of the intruder.</p>
-
-<p>Just before morning, however, in the cold before the dawning, Edgar had
-a real dream, a dream of sleep, and not of waking, so vivid that it came
-into his mind often afterwards with a thrill of wonder. He dreamt that
-he saw standing by him the figure of her who had touched his heart in
-his earlier years, of Gussy, who might have been his wife had all gone
-well, and of whom he had thought more warmly and constantly, perhaps,
-since she became impossible to him, than when she was within his reach.
-She seemed to come to him out of a cloud, out of a mist, stooping over
-him with a smile; but when he tried to spring up, to take the hand which
-she held out, some icy restraint came upon him&mdash;he could not move,
-chains of ice seemed to bind his hands and arrest even his voice in his
-throat. While he struggled to rise, the beautiful figure glided away,
-saying, “After, after&mdash;but not yet!” and&mdash;strange caprice of
-fancy&mdash;dropped over her face the heavy veil of the young sister<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112">{112}</a></span> who had
-excited his curiosity, and who was seated in the other corner of this
-same hard wooden bench, just as Edgar, struggling up, half awake, found
-that his railway wrapper had dropped from his knees, and that he was
-indeed almost motionless with cold.</p>
-
-<p>The grey dawn was breaking, coldest and most miserable hour of the
-twenty-four, and the other figures round him were nodding in their
-sleep, or swayed about with the jarring movement of the carriage.
-Strange, Edgar thought to himself, how fancy can pick up an external
-circumstance, and weave it into the fantastic web of dreams! How
-naturally his dream visitor had taken the aspect of the last figure his
-musing eyes had closed upon! and how naturally, too, the physical chill
-of the moment had shaped itself into a mental impossibility&mdash;a chain of
-fate. He smiled at the combination as he wrapped himself shivering in
-his rug. The slight little figure in the other corner was, he thought,
-awake too, she was so perfectly still. The people on the other side
-dozed and nodded, changing their positions with the jerking movement of
-restless sleep, but she was still, moving only with the swaying of the
-carriage. Her veil was still down, but one little white hand came forth
-out of the opening of her black cloak. What a pity that so pretty a hand
-should not be given to some man to help him along the road of life,
-Edgar thought to himself with true English sentiment, and then paused to
-remember that English sisterhoods could take no irrevocable vows, at
-least, in law. He toyed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113">{113}</a></span> with this idea, he could not tell why, giving
-far more attention to the veiled figure than half-a-dozen unveiled women
-would have procured from him.</p>
-
-<p>Foolish and short-sighted mortal! He dreamed and wondered at his dream,
-and made his ingenious little theory and amused explanation to himself
-of the mutual reaction of imagination and sensation. How little he knew
-what eyes were watching him from behind the safe shelter of that heavy
-black veil!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114">{114}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.<br /><br />
-<small>Alone.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Edgar</span> did not well know where to go on his arrival in London. He knew
-nothing about London except in its most expensive regions, and the only
-place to which he could direct the driver of the cab into which he
-jumped, was the chambers in Piccadilly which he had occupied in his
-earlier days. He said to himself “For a day or two it cannot matter
-where I live;” and, besides, the season was over and everything cheap,
-or so, at least, Edgar thought.</p>
-
-<p>The first thing he had to do was to see that his lawyers had carried out
-his directions and paid his debts&mdash;the number of which appalled him&mdash;out
-of his capital. Decidedly it was time that he should do something, and
-should shake himself out of those habits of a rich man, which had, in
-these three years, though he had no idea of it, compromised him to the
-extent of half his little fortune. This debt he felt he could not trifle
-with. The more indifferent he was about money, and the better able he
-was to do without it, the more necessity was there for the clearing off
-to begin with, of everything in the shape of debt. After all was paid,
-and the residue settled on the old lady at Loch Arroch,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115">{115}</a></span> there remained
-to him about a hundred pounds in the bank, besides the two ten-pound
-notes which he had in his pocket-book. “I must not touch the money in
-the bank,” he said to himself, with a prudence which contrasted
-beautifully with his other extravagances, “that must remain as something
-to fall back upon. Suppose, for instance, I should be ill,” Edgar
-reasoned with himself, always with a delicious suppressed consciousness
-of the joke involved under the utter gravity and extreme reasonableness
-of his own self-communings, “how necessary it would be to have something
-to fall back upon!” When he had made this little speech to himself, he
-subsided into silence, and it was not until half-an-hour later that he
-permitted himself to laugh.</p>
-
-<p>Both of his own suggestions seemed so oddly impossible to him. To be
-ill&mdash;he, in whose veins the blood ran so lightly, so tunefully, his
-pulse beating with the calm and continued strength of perfect harmony;
-or to want a pound or two&mdash;he who had possessed unlimited credit and
-means which he had never exhausted all his life. The change was so great
-that it affected him almost childishly&mdash;as a poor man might be affected
-by coming into a sudden fortune, or as a very young wife is sometimes
-affected by the bewildering and laughable, yet certain fact, that she,
-the other day only a little girl in pinafores, is now at the head of a
-house, free to give as many orders as she pleases, and sure to be
-obeyed. The extreme humour of the situation is the first thing that
-strikes a lively<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116">{116}</a></span> girl, under these circumstances, and it was the humour
-of it which struck Edgar: a fact, perhaps, which may lower his character
-in the reader’s eyes. But that, alas, I cannot help, for such as he was,
-such I must show him, and his character had many defects. Often had he
-been upbraided that he did not feel vicissitudes which looked like ruin
-and destruction to minds differently constituted. He did not&mdash;he was the
-most <i>insouciant</i>, the most care-hating of men. Up to this period of his
-life he had found the means, somehow, of getting a smile, or some gleam
-of fun, out of everything that happened. When he could not manage this
-the circumstances were very strange indeed, and I suppose he felt it;
-but at all events, in such cases, he kept his failure to himself.</p>
-
-<p>As soon as he had refreshed himself and breakfasted, he went out to see
-his lawyer, who received him with that air of melancholy disappointment
-which distinguishes all agents who are compelled to carry out what they
-think the foolish will of their principals: but who submitted the
-accounts to him, which showed that his directions had been obeyed,
-explaining everything in a depressed and despondent voice, full of the
-sense of injury.</p>
-
-<p>“I am compelled to say, Mr. Earnshaw,” said this good man, “that, as you
-have paid so little attention to our wishes, I and my firm would
-hence-forward have declined to take charge of your business
-transactions, if it had been the least likely that you would have had
-any more business to do; but as this is not possible, or at least
-probable<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117">{117}</a></span>&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You will continue to do it,” said Edgar, laughing. “I hope so; it would
-be kind of you. No, I don’t suppose I shall have much more business to
-do.”</p>
-
-<p>“And may I ask without offence,” said Mr. Parchemin, who was an old
-friend of Edgar’s old friend, Mr. Farqakerley, and had taken up the
-foolish young fellow on the recommendation of that excellent and
-long-established family solicitor. “May I ask how, now you have given
-away all your money, you mean to live?”</p>
-
-<p>“I must work,” said Edgar, cheerfully.</p>
-
-<p>“Clearly; but what can you work at?”</p>
-
-<p>“You have hit the difficulty exactly,” said Edgar, laughing. “To tell
-the truth, I don’t know. What do you suppose I could do best? There must
-be many men in my position, left in the lurch by circumstances&mdash;and they
-must have some way of providing for themselves. What do they generally
-do?”</p>
-
-<p>“Go to the dogs,” said Mr. Parchemin, succinctly, for he was still
-offended, and had not yet forgiven his impracticable client.</p>
-
-<p>“I sha’n’t do that,” said Edgar as briefly&mdash;and with, for the first
-time, and for one of the first times in his life, a shade of offence on
-his face.</p>
-
-<p>“There are a good many other things they try to do,” said Mr. Parchemin;
-“for instance they take pupils&mdash;most men feel themselves capable of that
-when they are driven to it; or they get into a public office, if they
-have interest and can pass the examination; or they read for the bar if
-they have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118">{118}</a></span> friends who can support them for a dozen years; or they write
-for the papers&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Stop a little,” said Edgar; “I have no friends to support me&mdash;I can’t
-write&mdash;I don’t think I could pass an examination&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“After twenty, and unless you’ve been crammed for the purpose, I don’t
-know anyone who could,” said Mr. Parchemin, solemnly.</p>
-
-<p>“And I doubt whether I could teach anything that any man in his senses
-would wish to know.”</p>
-
-<p>“I doubt it also,” said the lawyer, “judging, if you will pardon me for
-saying so, by your guidance of your own affairs.”</p>
-
-<p>“But a tutor does not teach boys how to guide their own affairs,” said
-Edgar, recovering his sense of the joke.</p>
-
-<p>“That is true too. A man may be very wise in giving good advice, and
-admirable on paper, and yet be fool enough in other respects. There was
-Goldsmith, for instance. But why shouldn’t you write? Plenty of stupid
-fellows write in the papers. You are not stupid&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Thanks,” cried Edgar, laughing.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, you have read what Thackeray says on that subject&mdash;in
-‘Pendennis,’ you know&mdash;how it is all a knack that anybody can learn; and
-it pays very well, I have always heard. There is no sort of nonsense
-that people will not read. I don’t see why you should not try the
-newspapers; if you know any one on the staff of the <i>Times</i>, for
-instance&mdash;that is a splendid opening&mdash;or even the <i>News</i> or the
-<i>Telegraph</i>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119">{119}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“But, alas, I don’t know anyone.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to say you never met any of those press fellows? when you
-were a great man, you know, when you were fashionable? At your club, for
-instance? You must have met some of them. Think! Why, they go
-everywhere, it’s their trade; they must have news. And, by the way, they
-have made their own of you first and last; the Arden estate, and the
-law-suit that was to be, and the noble behaviour of the unfortunate
-gentleman, &amp;c., &amp;c. You have figured in many a paragraph. Some of them
-you must know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Newmarch used to dabble in literature,” said Edgar, doubtfully.</p>
-
-<p>“Newmarch&mdash;Lord Newmarch! Why, that is better still. He’s in the
-Ministry, a rising young fellow, with the Manchester interest, and a few
-hundred thousands a-year behind him. He’s your very man; he’ll get you
-something; a school-inspectorship, or something of that sort, at the
-very least. What is he, by-the-bye? Education and that sort of thing is
-his hobby, so, of course, he’s put somewhere, like Dogberry, where there
-shall be no occasion for such vanities. Ah! I thought so; Foreign
-Office. He knows about as much of foreign politics, my dear Sir, as my
-office boy. That’s why he’s put in; that’s the present people’s way.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t think I should like to ask a favour of Newmarch,” said Edgar,
-with hesitation; and there suddenly rose in his mind a spiritual
-presence which he had never before recognised nor expected to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120">{120}</a></span> see, a
-something which was Pride. He himself was so unaffectedly surprised by
-the apparition that he did not know how to encounter it; but sat silent,
-wondering, and unable to understand the new dilemma in which he found
-himself. No; Newmarch was the last person of whom he should like to ask
-a favour, he said to himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Is there any one else whom you would like better?” said Mr. Parchemin,
-somewhat satirically. “So far as we have got, Lord Newmarch’s is much
-the most practicable aid you could get. Would you prefer to ask your
-favour from anyone else?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are quite right,” said Edgar, rousing himself. “The fact is, I
-don’t like asking favours at all. I suppose I expected the world to come
-to me and offer me a living, hat in hand. Of course, it is absurd.”</p>
-
-<p>“Lord Newmarch is probably too high and mighty to prefer a friend unless
-he is sure it will be for the public interest, etc.,” said Mr.
-Parchemin. “He will say as much, at least, you may be sure of that. And
-I advise you to be prepared for a great deal of this sort of lofty
-rubbish; but don’t pay any attention to it. Don’t take offence.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar laughed; but the laugh was unexplainable to anyone but himself. He
-had not been in the habit of taking offence; he had never borne anybody
-a grudge, so far as he knew, in his life; but along with the new-born
-pride which had arisen in him, was the faculty of offence coming too?
-These were the first fruits of poverty, spectres which had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121">{121}</a></span> never
-crossed his sunny pathway before. And though he laughed, not with
-amusement, but in a kind of dazed acknowledgment of the incongruity of
-things, the sense of the joke began to fail in Edgar’s mind. The
-whimsical, pleasant fun of the whole proceeding disappeared before those
-apparitions of Anger and Pride. Alas, was it possible that such a vulgar
-material change as the loss of money could bring such evil things into
-being? His friendly, gentle soul was appalled. He laughed with pain, not
-with amusement, because of the strange unlikeness of this new state of
-mind to anything he had known before.</p>
-
-<p>“Newmarch, I suppose, is not in town; he can’t be in town at this time
-of the year,” he said, with a momentary hope of postponing his
-sufferings at least.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, my dear Sir,” said the lawyer, “he is one of the new brooms that
-sweep clean. Besides, there is something going on between Russia and
-Prussia that wants watching, and it’s Lord Newmarch’s business to be on
-the spot. If you’ll take my advice, you’ll see him at once. Before the
-season begins he can’t have so many applicants. Go, if you’ll take my
-advice, at once.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar winced, as a man cannot but wince who is thrown into the class of
-“applicants” at a blow. Why shouldn’t he be an applicant? he said to
-himself as he went out. Better men than he had been obliged to kick
-their heels in great men’s anterooms; but fortunately the reign of
-patrons was so far over now. Was it over? While human nature<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122">{122}</a></span> continued
-could it ever be over? or would it not be necessary as long as the world
-lasted that there should be some men holding out the hand to ask, and
-others to give? Not so very long ago Lord Newmarch had come to him,
-Edgar, hat in hand, so to speak, wanting not place or living, but the
-good graces of a rich and fair young lady with whom her brother might
-advance him. Her brother! There gleamed up before Edgar, as he walked
-through the dusty October streets, the sudden glimpse he had seen at the
-roadside station of Margaret waiting for her brother. Alas, yes! Most
-people had sisters, if not something still dearer, to greet them, to
-hear the account of all they had done, and consult what remained to do.
-I do not know how it was that at this moment something brought into
-Edgar’s mind the two ladies who had travelled with him from Scotland.
-Probably the mere word Sister was enough; or perhaps it was because one
-of them, the elder, was just turning the corner of the street, and met
-him two minutes after. She smiled with a momentary hesitation (she was
-forty at the least), and then stopped to speak.</p>
-
-<p>“I had not a chance to thank you for getting our cab and looking after
-our luggage. It was very kind; but my young friend was in a great
-hurry.”</p>
-
-<p>“She was, I suppose, of your sisterhood, too,” said Edgar, with a
-curiosity which was quite unjustifiable, and for which he could not
-account.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123">{123}</a></span></p>
-<p>“Who? Miss &mdash;&mdash;. Oh! dear no,” said the good-humoured Sister. “She is
-what we call an associate, and does what she can for our charges, the
-poor people&mdash;in something like our dress; but it is far from being the
-dress of a professed sister,” the excellent woman added, adjusting her
-cross and collar. “I daresay you will meet her some day in society, and
-you need not tell her great friends that a Sister of the Charity House
-made her travel third class. We always do it; but fine people do not
-like to know.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should have to betray myself,” said Edgar laughing, “if I betrayed
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is true,” said the Sister. “If you ever pass by the Charity House
-at Amerton ask for Sister Susan, and I shall be glad to show you over
-it. I assure you it is something to see.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall come some day or other,” said Edgar, not quite knowing what he
-said. Who was she then, the girl with the veil who kept herself shrouded
-from him? She had not seemed <i>farouche</i> or unfriendly. She had waited
-quietly while he did what he could for them at the railway station. She
-had even touched his hand lightly as he put her into the cab; but there
-had seemed to be three or four veils between him and her countenance.
-During all the long journey he had seen of her nothing but the little
-white hand stealing from under the cover of her cloak; but somehow his
-dream came back to him, and wove itself in with the semblance of this
-veiled stranger. Absurd! but sometimes an absurdity is pleasant and
-comforting, and so it was in this case. He could not have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124">{124}</a></span> said what
-fancies came into his head, or if he had any fancies. No, he was past
-dreaming, past all that kind of boyish nonsense, he said to himself. But
-yet the recollection of the veiled maiden was pleasant to him, he could
-scarcely have told why.</p>
-
-<p>Lord Newmarch was at his office, and he was ready after some time to see
-his visitor, whom he greeted with sufficient friendliness and good
-feeling. Lord Newmarch had been very democratic in his day; he had taken
-workmen in their working clothes to dine with him at his club in his hot
-youth, and had made them very uncomfortable, and acquired a delightful
-reputation himself for advanced ideas; which was a very great thing for
-a new lord, whose grandfather had been a small shopkeeper, to do. But
-somehow he was a great deal more at his ease with the working men than
-with his former friend and equal, now reduced to a perfectly incredible
-destitution of those ordinary circumstances which form the very clothing
-and skin of most men. Edgar was in soul and being, no doubt, exactly the
-same as ever; he had the same face, the same voice, the same thought and
-feelings. Had he lost only his money Lord Newmarch would not have felt
-the difficulty half so great, for indeed a great many people do
-(whatever the world may say) lose their money, without being dropped or
-discredited by society. But something a great deal more dreadful had
-happened in Edgar’s case. He had lost, so to speak, himself; and how to
-behave towards a man who a little<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125">{125}</a></span> while ago had been his equal, nay his
-superior, and now was not his equal, nor anybody’s, yet the same man,
-puzzled the young statesman beyond expression. This is a very different
-sort of thing from entertaining a couple of working men to the much
-astonishment (delightful homage to one’s peculiarities) of one’s club.
-The doctrine that all men are brothers comes in with charming piquancy
-in the one case, but is very much less easy to deal with in the other.
-Lord Newmarch got up with some perturbation from his seat when Edgar
-came in. He shook him warmly by the hand, and said,</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Arden&mdash;ah, Earnshaw,” looking at the card. “I beg your pardon. I am
-delighted to see you.”</p>
-
-<p>And then they both sat down and looked at each other after the warmth of
-this accost, and found, as so often happens, that they had nothing more
-to say. I do not know a more embarrassing position in ordinary
-circumstances, even when there is no additional and complicating
-embarrassment. You meet your old friend, you shake hands, you commit
-yourself to an expression of delight&mdash;and then you are silent. He has
-sailed away from you and you from him since you last met, and there is
-nothing to be said between you, beyond that first unguarded and uncalled
-for warmth of salutation, the emblem of an intimacy past. This is how
-Lord Newmarch accosted Edgar; and Edgar accepted the salutation with a
-momentary glow at his breast. And then they sat down and looked at each
-other;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126">{126}</a></span> they had given forth all the feeling they had toward each other,
-and how could they express sentiments which had no existence? They had
-to glide involuntarily into small talk about the empty state of town,
-and the new Minister’s devotion to business, and the question between
-Prussia and Russia which he had to keep at his post to watch. Lord
-Newmarch allowed, with dignified resignation, that it was hard upon him,
-and that an Under Secretary of State has much that is disagreeable to
-bear; and then he added politely, but thinking to himself&mdash;oh, how much
-easier were two, nay half-a-dozen working-men, than this!&mdash;an inquiry as
-to the nature of his old friend’s occupation. “What,” said the
-statesman, crossing and uncrossing his legs two or three times in
-succession to get the easiest position, and with a look at his shoes
-which expressed eloquently all the many events that had passed since
-their last meeting, “What are you doing yourself?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127">{127}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.<br /><br />
-<small>A Noble Patron.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">When</span> two men who have met in careless intercourse, without any
-possibility of obliging or being obliged, except so far as interchange
-of courtesy goes, come suddenly together in relations so changed, the
-easy question, “what are you doing?” spoken by the one whose position
-has not altered, to the one who has suffered downfall, has a new world
-of significance in it, of tacit encouragement or repulsion of kindly or
-adverse meaning. It means either “Can I help you?” or, “Don’t think of
-asking me for help.” If the downfallen one has need of aid and
-patronage, the faintest inflection of voice thrills him with expectation
-or disappointment&mdash;and even if he is independent, it is hard if he does
-not get a sting of mortification out of the suspected benevolence or
-absence of it. Edgar listened to Lord Newmarch’s questions, with a
-sudden rising in his mind of many sentiments quite unfamiliar to him. He
-was ashamed&mdash;though he had nothing to be ashamed of&mdash;angry, though no
-offence had been given him&mdash;and tingled with excitement for which there
-was no reason. How important it had become to him all at once that this
-other man, for whom he felt no particular respect, should be favourable<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128">{128}</a></span>
-to him, and how difficult to reconcile himself to the process of asking,
-he who had never done anything but give!</p>
-
-<p>“I am doing nothing,” he said, after a momentary pause, which seemed
-long to him, but which Lord Newmarch did not so much as notice, “and to
-tell the truth, I had a great mind to come cap in hand to you, to ask
-for something. I want occupation&mdash;and to speak frankly, a living at the
-same time. Not pay without work, but yet pay.”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure,” said Lord Newmarch; but his countenance fell a little. A
-new applicant cannot but appear a natural enemy to every official
-personage noted for high-mindedness, and a sublime superiority to jobs.
-“I should think something might be found for you&mdash;in one department or
-other. The question is what would you like&mdash;or perhaps&mdash;what could you
-do?”</p>
-
-<p>“I can do anything a man can usually do, who has never done anything in
-his life,” said Edgar, trying to laugh. “You know how little that is&mdash;a
-great deal that is absolutely useless&mdash;nothing that is much good.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Lord Newmarch, looking much more grave than his applicant
-did, whose levity he had always disapproved of. “It is very unfortunate
-that what we call the education of a gentleman should be so utterly
-unpractical. And, as you are aware, all our clerkships now-a-days are
-disposed of by competitive examination. I do not commit myself as to its
-satisfactory character as a test of capacity&mdash;there are very different
-opinions I know on that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129">{129}</a></span> subject; but the fact is one we must bow to.
-Probably you would not care at your age to submit to such an ordeal?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t care what I submit to,” said Edgar, which was totally untrue,
-for his blood was boiling in the most irrational way, at the thought
-that this man whom he had laughed at so often, should be a Minister of
-State, while he himself was weighing the probabilities of securing a
-clerkship in the great man’s office. Nothing could be more wrong or
-foolish, for to be sure Lord Newmarch had worked for his position, and
-had his father’s wealth and influence behind him; but he had not
-generally impressed upon his acquaintances a very profound respect for
-his judgment. “But I don’t think I could pass any examination,” he added
-with an uneasy laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“Few men can, without special preparation,” said the Under Secretary,
-whose face grew gradually longer and longer. “Do you know I think the
-best thing I can do will be to give you a note to the Home Secretary,
-who is a very good friend of mine, Lord Millboard. You must have met him
-I should think&mdash;somewhere&mdash;in&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Better days,” said Edgar, struck by a sudden perception of the
-ludicrous. Yes, that was the phrase&mdash;he had seen better days; and his
-companion felt the appropriateness of it, though he hesitated to employ
-the word.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, indeed; I am sure no one was ever more regretted,” said Lord
-Newmarch, spreading before him a sheet of note-paper with a huge
-official stamp.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130">{130}</a></span> “I don’t think Arden half fills your place. All his
-interest goes to the other side. You hear I suppose sometimes from your
-sis&mdash;I mean from Mrs. Arden? What kind of post shall I say you wish to
-have?”</p>
-
-<p>“Say out the word you were going to say,” said Edgar, “my sister! I have
-not seen anyone who knew her for ages. No, I thought it best not to keep
-up any correspondence. It might have grown a burden to her; but it does
-me good to hear you say my sister. How is she looking? Is she happy? It
-is so long since I have heard even the name of Clare.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mrs. Arden is quite well, I believe,” said Lord Newmarch doubtfully,
-not knowing whether “the family” might quite like inquiries to be made
-for her by her quondam brother. He felt almost as a man does who is
-caught interfering in domestic strife, and felt that Clare’s husband
-might possibly take it badly. “She has a couple of babies of course you
-know. She looked very well when I saw her last. Happy! yes, I suppose
-so&mdash;as everybody is happy. In the meantime, please, what must I say to
-Lord Millboard? Shall I recall to him your&mdash;former position? And what
-shall I say you would like to have? He has really a great deal of
-patronage; and can do much more for you if he likes than I.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tell him I have seen better days,” said Edgar with forlorn gaiety, “I
-have met him, but I never ventured to approach so great a potentate.
-Tell him I am not very particular what kind of work I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131">{131}</a></span> do, so long as it
-is something to live by. Tell him&mdash;but to be sure, if you introduce me
-to him I can do all that myself.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is true,” said Lord Newmarch with a little sigh of relief, and he
-began to write his note. When, however, he had got two or three lines
-written in his large hand, he resumed talking, though his pen still ran
-over the paper. “You have been abroad I heard. Perhaps you can tell me
-what is the feeling in Germany about the proposed unification? I am
-rather new to my post, and to tell the truth it is not the post I should
-have chosen; but in the service of the country one cannot always follow
-one’s favourite path. ‘A gentleman of high breeding and unblemished
-character, whose judgment could be relied upon,’ that will do, I think.
-Millboard should find something to suit you if any one can. But to
-return to what we were talking about. I should very much like to have
-your opinion as an impartial observer, of the attitude of Bavaria and
-the rest, and how they take Bismarck’s scheme?”</p>
-
-<p>“Does not the principle of competitive examination exist in Lord
-Millboard’s department?” said Edgar.</p>
-
-<p>“Not to the same extent,” said Newmarch. “He has always a great deal in
-his power. A word from Millboard goes a long way; he has a hand
-officially or non-officially in a great many things. For instance, I
-like to consult him myself before making an important appointment; he
-knows everything. He might get you some commissionership or other.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132">{132}</a></span> Some
-of them are very good things; a literary man got one just the other day,
-by Millboard’s influence. Did you read for the bar? No? Ah, that’s a
-pity. But you might, perhaps, be made an inspector of schools; very high
-qualifications are not required for such an appointment. By-the-by, now
-that I think of it,” he continued, pausing after he had folded his
-letter, and looking up, “you were brought up abroad? You can speak all
-the modern languages; you don’t object to travel. I believe, after all,
-you are the very man I want.”</p>
-
-<p>Here he paused, and Edgar waited too, attentive and trying to be amused.
-As what did the great man want him? As courier for a travelling party?
-While Lord Newmarch pondered, Edgar, puzzled and not very much delighted
-with his position, had hard ado to keep just as quiet and respectful as
-became a man seeking his living. At last the Minister spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“What I was thinking of,” he said, “was the post of Queen’s Messenger.
-You know what that is? It is not badly paid, and the life is amusing. I
-cannot tell you how important it would be to me to have a man I could
-thoroughly trust in such a position. You would be simply invaluable to
-me; I could rely upon you for telling me how people were really thinking
-in foreign capitals. I cannot, of course, in my position, travel about
-as a private person can, and there are a great many things I am most
-anxious to get up.”</p>
-
-<p>Here he paused for some reply; but what could Edgar reply? Lord Newmarch
-was not thinking of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133">{133}</a></span> him, but of his own need of information. Should the
-applicant distract the Minister’s thoughts back from this greater
-channel to that of his own private case? or should he throw his own
-case, as it were, overboard, and give all his sympathy to the
-Under-Secretary’s elevated needs? The position was comical, but perhaps
-Edgar was not sufficiently at ease in his mind to see its comic side.</p>
-
-<p>“You see how important it is,” Lord Newmarch said, very gravely, looking
-at Edgar for sympathy; “everything depends upon genuine
-information&mdash;what the people are thinking, not the <i>on dits</i> that fly
-about in diplomatic circles. My dear&mdash;eh?&mdash;Earnshaw,” he cried, with
-enthusiasm, and a glance at Edgar’s card, “I can’t tell you how much use
-you might be to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar could not restrain a hasty laugh, which, however, had not much
-enjoyment in it. “I am delighted to hear it,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Your name shall be put upon the list directly,” said Lord Newmarch.
-“One of our men, I know, talks of resigning; and the very first vacancy,
-I think I may almost say, without further reflection, shall be yours.
-What are you going to do with yourself for the autumn? I leave town next
-week, I hope, but I shall be back before Christmas; and if you don’t
-hear from me by that time&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Before Christmas!” cried Edgar; he could not prevent his voice from
-expressing a little dismay. What was he to do till Christmas? Live upon
-his two ten-pound notes? or break into his precious <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134">{134}</a></span>little capital?
-or&mdash;&mdash; The situation appalled him. I suppose he thought, having once
-found something which he could be so very useful in, that it was in
-Newmarch’s power to give him an appointment at once.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course,” said Newmarch, benignantly, “if you are in the country,
-don’t come to town on purpose. Any time in spring would probably do; but
-if you don’t hear from me in a few months, come and see me. When so much
-important business is passing through one’s hands, a little thing&mdash;and
-especially a personal matter&mdash;is apt to slip out of one’s head.”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure,” said Edgar, rising hastily, “and I am taking up, about a
-mere personal matter, your valuable time, which belongs to the nation.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, don’t apologise. I am delighted to see you. And you can’t think of
-how much use you might be to me,” said the great man, earnestly, shaking
-hands with the small one, impressing upon him, almost with tears in his
-eyes, the importance he might come to, “if this man will only be so good
-as to resign.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar went away with a singing in his ears, which he could scarcely
-understand at first. In all his kindly careless life there had been so
-little occasion for that thrilling of the blood to the brain, in defence
-of the Self assailed, which now at once stimulated, and made him dizzy.
-He scarcely knew what it meant, neither could he realize the bitterness
-that came into his heart against his will, a most unusual guest. He went
-out from Lord Newmarch’s office, and walked long and far before he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135">{135}</a></span>
-quite came to himself. Walking has often a similar effect to that which
-the poet tells us rhyme has, “the sad mechanic exercise, like dull
-narcotics numbing pain.” When he gradually emerged from the haze and
-heat of this first disagreeable encounter, Edgar took characteristic
-refuge in the serio-comic transformation which the whole matter
-underwent in Lord Newmarch’s hands. Instead of a simple question of
-employment for Edgar Earnshaw, it became the great man’s own business, a
-way of informing him as to the points in which his education was
-defective. Finding employment for Edgar interested him moderately; but
-finding information for himself, fired his soul;&mdash;the comical part of
-the whole being that he expected the other, whose personal interests
-were so closely concerned, to feel this superior view of the question as
-deeply as he himself did, and to put it quite above the vulgar
-preliminary of something to live by. To serve Lord Newmarch, and through
-him the Government, and through the Government the country, was not
-that, Edgar asked himself at last, feeling finally able to laugh again,
-a much more important matter than securing bread and butter for our
-thriftless man? As soon as he had laughed he was himself again, and the
-after processes of thought were more easy.</p>
-
-<p>By-and-by he persuaded himself that on the whole Newmarch had behaved
-quite naturally, and not unkindly. “As a matter of course,” he said to
-himself, “every man’s own affairs are more interesting to him than any
-other man’s.” It was quite natural that Newmarch should think of his
-own<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136">{136}</a></span> business as most important. It <i>was</i> the most important, Edgar
-continued, in his ingenious and peculiar style of reasoning, since it
-was the business of the country&mdash;whereas Edgar’s business was only his
-own, and of importance to nobody but himself. Equally, of course, it was
-more important to secure a good public servant, even in the humble
-capacity of a Queen’s Messenger, than to secure bread and butter for
-Edgar Earnshaw; and, on the whole, there was a great deal to be said for
-Newmarch, who was a good fellow, and had been generally friendly, and
-not too patronizing. The only wormwood that remained in his thoughts by
-the time evening approached, and he turned his steps towards his club in
-search of dinner, concerned the long delay which apparently must occur
-before this promised advancement could reach him. Before Christmas;
-Edgar had very little idea how much a man could live upon in London; but
-he did not think it very likely that he could get through two months
-upon twenty pounds. And even if that should be possible, with his little
-knowledge and careless habits, what should he do in the meantime? Should
-he linger about town, doing nothing, waiting for this possible
-appointment, which might, perhaps, never come to anything? This was a
-course of procedure which prudence and inclination, and so much
-experience as he possessed, alike condemned. Hanging on, waiting till
-something should turn up! Was this all he was good for? he asked
-himself, with a flush on his face. If only the other man would be so
-obliging as to resign, or to be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137">{137}</a></span> killed in a railway accident, or
-swamped in a steamboat, or to take some foreign fever or other, of the
-well-known kinds, which haunt those places to which Queen’s Messengers
-are habitually sent! This was a lugubrious prayer, and I don’t think the
-actual Queen’s Messenger against whom the anathema was addressed would
-have been much the worse for Edgar’s ill-wishes.</p>
-
-<p>These virulent and malignant sentiments helped him to another laugh, and
-this was one of the cases in which for a man of his temperament to laugh
-was salvation. What a good thing it is in all circumstances! and from
-how many troubles, angers and ridiculousnesses this blessed power of
-laughter saves us! Man, I suppose, among the fast narrowing list of his
-specialities, still preserves that of being the only animal who laughs.
-Dogs sometimes sneer; but the genial power of this humorous expression
-of one’s sense of all life’s oddities and puzzles belongs only to man.</p>
-
-<p>There were few people about at the club where he dined alone, and the
-few acquaintances who recognised him were very shy about his name, not
-knowing how to address him, and asking each other in corners, as he
-divined, what the deuce was his real name, now it had been found out
-that he was not Arden? for it must be remembered that he had gone abroad
-immediately after his downfall, and had never been known in society
-under his new name, which by this time had become sufficiently familiar
-to himself. His dinner, poor fellow, was rather a doleful one, and
-accompanied by many<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138">{138}</a></span> thoughts. He went to one of the theatres
-afterwards, where the interregnum between one season and another still
-lasted, and foolishness more foolish even than that which is permitted
-at other periods, reigned riotous. Edgar came away wearied and disgusted
-before the performance was over, and had walked about aimlessly for some
-time before he recollected that he had travelled all night, and had a
-right to be tired&mdash;upon which recollection his aimless steps changed
-their character, and he went off briskly and thankfully through the
-bustling streets under the stars, which were sharp with night frost as
-they had been at Loch Arroch. Looking up at them as they glowed and
-sparkled over the dark house-tops in London, it was natural to think
-what was going on at Loch Arroch now. The kye would be “suppered,” and
-Bell would have fastened the ever open door, and little Jeanie upstairs
-would be reading her “chapter” to her grandmother before the old lady
-went to bed. He had seen that little, tender, pious scene more than
-once, when Granny was feeble, and he had gone to her room to say
-good-night. How sweet the low Scotch voice, with its soft broad vowels,
-had sounded, reading reverently those sacred verses, better than
-invocation of angels to keep the house from harm! What a peaceful,
-homely little house! all in it resting tranquil and untroubled beneath
-the twinkling stars. He went home to his rooms, through streets where
-very different scenes were going on, hushed by the thought of the rural
-calm and stillness, and half thinking the dark shadows he felt around
-him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139">{139}</a></span> must be the dew-breathing shadows of the hills. And when Edgar got
-up to his bachelor refuge in Piccadilly, which he called home for the
-nonce for lack of a better, he did the very wisest thing a tired man
-could do, he went to bed; where he slept the moment his head touched the
-pillow, that sleep which does not always attend the innocent. The morn,
-as says our homely proverb in Scotland, would bring a new day.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140">{140}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.<br /><br />
-<small>Waiting for a Situation.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Edgar’s</span> calculations, which he began next morning, and carried on for a
-great many days after, were of a kind which many men have made before
-him, that it would be foolish to call them original. He made elaborate
-calculations upon various pieces of paper, by which he made out that
-with economy, he could perfectly well live upon his twenty pounds for
-two months. To be sure his rent in these rooms in Piccadilly was
-preposterously high, and could not by any means be brought within that
-calculation. But then he reflected to himself that moving is always
-expensive&mdash;(he possessed two portmanteaus, a box of books, and a
-dressing-case, all of which could have gone in a cab)&mdash;and that very
-probably he might fall among thieves, and get into the hands of one of
-those proverbial landladies who steal the tea, and drink the brandy, in
-which case it would be no economy at all to save a few shillings on
-rent. In short, Edgar said to himself, loftily, these petty little
-savings never tell. You are much less comfortable, and it is just as
-expensive. For the same reason, he felt it was much the best way to
-continue dining at the club. “It may be sixpence dearer, but it is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141">{141}</a></span> so
-infinitely more comfortable,” he said to himself; and, after all,
-comfort was worth an additional sixpence. By striking off the rent of
-his rooms altogether from the calculation, it seemed to him that he
-could afford his dinners at the club; and if he got his appointment by
-Christmas, as he certainly must, it would be so easy to pay the lodgings
-in a lump. He jotted down these calculations so often, and upon so many
-bits of paper, that he grew to believe in them as if they had been a
-revelation. By this it will appear that his doubts about hanging on, and
-waiting for the possible Queen’s Messengership which he had at first set
-down as out of the question, did not continue to appear so impracticable
-as time went on. He said to himself every morning that it was absurd,
-but still he did nothing else, and gradually the Queen’s Messengership
-grew to be a certain thing to him, upon which he was to enter at
-Christmas, or a little later. After all, what did it matter how he spent
-a week or two of his time? At eight-and-twenty, life does not appear so
-short as some people have found it. A week or two, a month or two, were
-neither here nor there.</p>
-
-<p>I can scarcely tell how Edgar occupied himself during these wintry days.
-For one thing, he had not been accustomed to regular occupation, and the
-desultory life was familiar to him. The days glided past he scarcely
-knew how. He did a great many perfectly virtuous and laudable actions.
-He went to the British Museum, and to all the collections of pictures;
-he even, in sheer absence of any<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142">{142}</a></span>thing else to do, went to the Charity
-House, which was a little way out of London, and was taken over it by
-Sister Susan, his travelling companion, and for an hour or so was seized
-upon by the charity fever, which is very contagious, and for some days
-kept thinking, as he went about the streets, of all the miserable
-souls&mdash;not to say bodies&mdash;consuming there, in dirt, and disease, and
-ignorance. I do not mean to give any account of the Charity-House&mdash;at
-least, not here and at this moment. But Sister Susan undeniably
-exercised a powerful attraction over the young man, as she discoursed in
-her cheery voice of her orphans, and her patients, and her penitents,
-all of which classes were collected round and in “the House.” She was
-not “the Mother,” who was rather a great personage, but she was one of
-the elders in the Sisterhood, and her conventual talk was very amusing
-to Edgar, who was not used to it. He did all he could to make her talk
-of the journey in which they had been fellow-travellers, and of her
-young companion; and Sister Susan was cunningly open in certain
-particulars:</p>
-
-<p>Yes, she had been in Scotland, in the North, where it was thought things
-were ripening for a great work, and where it had been suggested a
-Sisterhood might be of use in helping to restore a benighted people to
-Christian unity in the bosom of the afflicted Church of Scotland, the
-only real representative of Apostolic Christianity among the
-Presbyterians, who usurp even that faithful remnant’s name. But it did
-not carry out their expectations,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143">{143}</a></span> Sister Susan allowed. The
-Presbyterians were very obstinate and bigoted. Poor creatures, they
-preferred their own way, though it could lead to nothing but darkness;
-and the idea had to be resigned.</p>
-
-<p>“Was your companion with you on your mission? Miss &mdash;&mdash; I forget what you
-said was her name,” said deceitful Edgar.</p>
-
-<p>Sister Susan shook her head.</p>
-
-<p>“She has not sufficient experience for that,” she said, decidedly. “No,
-no, no. We must not employ new beginners in such delicate work. She was
-on a visit, and was anxious to get home. I took charge of her at Lady&mdash;I
-mean at the request of a relation of hers; and I made her do a little
-bit of self-denial, as you saw,” said Sister Susan, laughing, “which is
-an excellent thing always&mdash;not very comfortable for the body, perhaps,
-but excellent for the soul.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think so?” said Edgar, whose present experience was not much in
-that way, whose givings up had hitherto cost him little, and who had
-begun to suspect that, notwithstanding all that had happened to him, and
-all that he had bestowed upon others, he had not even begun yet to find
-out what self-denial meant.</p>
-
-<p>“Not a doubt of it,” said Sister Susan. She was so sure of everything
-that it was a pleasure to see her nod her confident little head, and
-cross her hands. “She laughs about it now, and makes a great joke;
-though, after all, she says it was a cheat, and the third class was
-quite as good as the first<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144">{144}</a></span>&mdash;no originals in it, nor genuine poor
-people&mdash;only you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did she know me?”</p>
-
-<p>The question burst from him in spite of himself, and it had a somewhat
-uncomfortable effect on Sister Susan.</p>
-
-<p>“Know you?” she said. “What&mdash;what&mdash;a curious question, Mr. Earnshaw!
-Now, how could she know you? You never saw her before.”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose not,” said Edgar, doubtfully.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, you know you never did,” said Sister Susan, with her usual
-confident tone, and indeed Edgar felt that she must be right. “You took
-her for a Sister,” she added, with a merry laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“How should I know the difference?” asked piteously the young man.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, she had not this, nor this, nor this,” said the Sister,
-triumphantly touching one part of her dress after another. “She had on a
-simple black dress, and cloak, and veil&mdash;that was all. A good little
-girl,” she continued, “our orphans are all fond of her, and she is very
-nice to those young sisters of hers, who are much more taken out
-now-a-days than she is, and carry everything before them&mdash;especially
-since she went off so much, poor dear.”</p>
-
-<p>“Has she gone off?” Edgar asked, more and more interested, he could
-scarcely tell why.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, dreadfully; lost her pretty colour, and her hair used to come out
-in handfuls; she has been obliged to have it cut off to save it. She is
-not like what she was, poor thing; but I hope,” added Sister Susan
-devoutly, “that thinking so much more<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145">{145}</a></span> seriously than she used to do,
-the change will be of great benefit to her soul.”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor Miss&mdash;! You have not told me her name,” said Edgar.</p>
-
-<p>“Haven’t I?” said Sister Susan. “Dear, dear, there is the bell for
-chapel, and I can’t stay with you any longer. There are a few benches
-near the door where strangers are allowed to go, if you wish to stay for
-evensong.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar stayed, chiefly, I fear, out of mere listlessness, and took his
-place in the corner by the door allotted to Philistines of the male
-gender, with much submission and docility. The little chapel was very
-richly decorated, the light intercepted by small painted windows, the
-walls one mass of mural ornament. He compared it in his imagination,
-with a smile, to the bare little convent chapels he had seen and heard
-of in countries where the institution appeared more natural. Here there
-was a profusion of ecclesiastical luxury, an absolute parade of
-decoration. It struck him with a double sense of incongruity, but there
-was no one to whom he could express this evil sentiment: Sister Susan
-did not appear again as he had hoped, and he wended his way back to town
-with some additional information, which he had not possessed when he
-left. Why should he be so curious about Miss &mdash;&mdash;, the nameless one? He
-had thought her another Sister, and entertained no profuse curiosity in
-respect to her at first; but now it seemed to him that only a little
-more light might make her visible to him. There was no reason why he
-should find her out,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146">{146}</a></span> or why he should wish to do so; but great is the
-perversity of human nature&mdash;perhaps this was the special reason why the
-thought occupied him so much.</p>
-
-<p>It was very strange to so friendly a soul to have no friends whom he
-could go to, whom he could talk to, no friendly house where the door
-would open to him, and faces smile at his sight. It is true that for
-three years he had been severed, to a great degree, from domestic
-pleasures, which do not thrive at foreign centres of cosmopolitan
-resort&mdash;but yet he had never been without a large circle of
-acquaintances, and had occasionally seen the old friends of his boyhood
-here and there; but in London, in October and November, whom could he
-expect to see? The stray man who dropped in now and then at the club,
-was on the wing between two country houses, or was going to join a party
-somewhere, or home to his people. Some men, of course, must live in
-London, but these men, I presume, did not go much to their club, or else
-they were so little among the number of Edgar’s friends that they did
-not count. Now and then one would join him at dinner, or in one of the
-long walks he took, and he made a friend or two at the Museum, among the
-books and prints. But he was like an Australian emigrant, or other exile
-in savage places. These were all men, and he never saw the face of a
-woman except in the streets or shops, unless it was his landlady, who
-did not interest him.</p>
-
-<p>How strangely different from the old days, in which so many fair women
-would smile and listen<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147">{147}</a></span> to the young man who was at once so rich and so
-original, a great landed proprietor, with the opinions of a
-revolutionary. It was not his downfall, however, which had made all the
-difference, which was a comfort to him; for, indeed, the families whom
-he had once visited were out of London. Sometimes it occurred to him
-that if the Thornleighs had been in town, he would have gone to them and
-asked leave to be admitted just once or twice, for pure charity, and he
-had walked several times past their house in Berkeley Square, and gazed
-at its closed shutters with half a notion of calling on the housekeeper,
-at least, and asking to see the place in which he had spent so many
-pleasant hours. He used to live all over again his first visit to
-London, with an amused pleasure in recalling all his own puzzles and
-difficulties. He seemed to himself to have been a boy then, almost a
-child, playing with fate and his life, and understanding nothing of all
-that was around him. To have ten thousand a year one time, and no income
-at all the next, but only a hundred pounds in the bank “to fall back
-upon,” and the vague promise of a post as Queen’s Messenger at
-Christmas&mdash;what a change it was! Though to be sure, even now, Edgar said
-to himself, there were more people in London worse off than he, than
-there were people who were better off. A hundred pounds in the bank is,
-in reality, a fortune&mdash;as long as you can keep it there; and a man who
-has the post of Queen’s Messenger is independent, which is as much as
-any prince can be.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148">{148}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>All these philosophisings were wonderfully true, but they did not take
-away the uncomfortable, desolate, profitless sensation of living alone
-in London without friends, doing nothing except live, which, when you
-live for the mere sake of living, and because you can’t help it, is,
-perhaps, the dreariest occupation on earth. And in November&mdash;when London
-is at its worst, and the year at its worst, when the gloomy daylight is
-short, and the weary nights are long, and when everything that bears the
-guise of amusement palls upon the man who has nothing to do but amuse
-himself.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes Edgar, in momentary desperation, thought of rushing off to his
-former haunts abroad, sometimes of turning back to Loch Arroch, helping
-in whatever might be doing, getting some share in human life, and some
-place among his fellows; but then the remembrance would strike him that,
-now-a-days, he could not do what he pleased, that he had no money but
-that hundred pounds in the bank, and no way of getting any now till the
-appointment came.</p>
-
-<p>By-and-by, however, his opinion began to change about the hundred pounds
-in the bank. It changed by slow degrees after he had changed his second
-ten-pound note, and saw those last precious sovereigns slipping out of
-his grasp, which they did with a strange noiseless celerity
-inconceivable to him. How did they go? When he counted up all he had
-spent, every sixpence seemed so modest, so natural! and yet they were
-gone, he knew not how; vanished even, he thought, while he was looking
-at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149">{149}</a></span> them. Then the thought arose in his mind, why keep a hundred pounds
-in the bank? It was a waste of capital, money which brought in no
-return; and for that matter, if it was merely to secure something to
-“fall back upon,” fifty pounds were just as good as a hundred. The
-income of a Queen’s Messenger was good, he said to himself (he had not,
-in reality, the least idea what it was!), and when he got his
-appointment it would be very easy to put back the other fifty pounds if
-he found it expedient. But the more he thought of it the less he saw any
-need for keeping so much money lying useless. He never could get any
-income from so small a sum, and the fifty pounds was quite enough for
-any sudden emergency. Or supposing, he said, seventy-five? Seventy-five
-pounds was magnificent as a fund to fall back upon; and it was with a
-feeling that twenty-five pounds had been somehow added, not taken from
-his capital, that he went to the bank one day in December and drew out
-the quarter, not the half, of his little stock of money. With
-twenty-five pounds in his pocket and seventy-five in the bank, he felt
-much richer than with the poor little undivided hundred. And somehow
-every day as he grew poorer, he became more convinced that it would be
-the most short-sighted economy to remove from his Piccadilly lodgings,
-or to relinquish his dinners at the club. Why, they were cheap,
-absolutely cheap, both the one and the other, in comparison with the
-nasty meals and wretched lodgings for which, no doubt, he might pay a
-little less money. He even became slightly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150">{150}</a></span> extravagant and disposed to
-buy little knick-knacks, and to consume little delicacies as his means
-grew smaller and smaller.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot tell what produced this curious state of feeling in Edgar’s
-mind. There is a kind of giddiness and desperation of poverty which
-seizes a man when he is in the act of spending his last parcel of coin.
-It must all go so soon that it seems worse than useless to <i>ménager</i> the
-little remnant, and a kind of <i>vertige</i>, a rage to get it all over,
-comes upon the mind. Perhaps it is the same feeling which makes men in a
-sinking ship leap wildly into the water to meet their fate instead of
-waiting for it; and as time went on the impulse grew stronger and
-stronger. The seventy-five pounds of capital seemed magnificent in
-December; but after Christmas it seemed to Edgar that even his fifty
-pounds was too much to be lying useless; and he had a little bottle of
-champagne with his dinner, and resolved that, as soon as the bank was
-open, he would draw, say ten pounds. After all, what was the use of
-being so particular about “something to fall back upon?” Probably he
-would never want it. If he fell ill, being a Queen’s Messenger, it was
-much more likely that he should fall ill in Berlin or Vienna, or Rome or
-Naples, than at home&mdash;and then it would be some one’s duty to mind him
-and take care of him. And if it should be his fate to die, there would
-be an end of the matter. Why should he save even forty pounds?&mdash;he had
-no heir.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Edgar! it was a kind of intoxication that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151">{151}</a></span> had seized him, an
-intoxication caused by idleness, loneliness, and the separation of his
-life from that of every one else around him. Somehow, though Christmas
-came and passed and he heard nothing, he could not pluck up courage to
-go to Downing Street again. Of course the appointment would come some
-day, most likely to-morrow. He was not going to worry Newmarch to death
-by going to him every day. He could wait till to-morrow. And so things
-went on till it ran very hard with the solitary young man. It occurred
-to him one day that his clothes were getting shabby. To be sure he had
-unlimited credit with his tailor, having just paid a large bill without
-inquiry or question; but the fact of feeling yourself shabby when you
-have very little money is painful and startling, and gives the
-imagination a shock. After this his mind lost the strange ease which it
-had possessed up to this moment, and he grew troubled and restless. “I
-must go to Newmarch again,” he acknowledged at last to himself, and all
-at once wondered with a sudden pang whether his Messengership was as
-certain as he had hoped. “I must go to Newmarch to-morrow,” he said over
-and over again as, somewhat dazed and giddy with this sudden thought, he
-went along the pavement thoughtfully towards the club, which had become
-a second home to him. It was the end of January by this time, and a few
-more people were beginning to appear again in these regions. He went in
-to his dinner, saying the words to himself mechanically and half aloud.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152">{152}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.<br /><br />
-<small>Disappointment.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is very curious how often the unintentional movements of other men
-concur in making a crisis in an individual life. When Edgar went to his
-club that evening he knew no reason why anything unusual should happen
-to him. His mind had been roused by sudden anxiety, that anxiety which,
-seizing a man all at once upon one particular point, throws a veil over
-everything by so doing, and showed yellowness or blackness into the
-common light; but he had no reason to suspect that any new light would
-come to him, or any new interest into his life, when he went dully and
-with a headache to his habitual seat at his habitual table and ate his
-dinner, which was not of a very elaborate character. There were more men
-than usual in the club that evening, and when Edgar had finished his
-dinner he went into the library, not feeling disposed for the long walk
-through the lighted streets with which he so often ended his evening. He
-took a book, but he was not in the mood to read. Several men nodded to
-him as they came and went; one, newly arrived, who had not seen him
-since his downfall, came up eagerly and talked for ten minutes before he
-went out. The man was nobody in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153">{153}</a></span> particular, yet his friendliness was
-consolatory, and restored to Edgar some confidence in his own identity,
-which had seemed to be dropping from him. He put up his book before him
-when he was left again alone, and behind this shield looked at his
-companions, of whom he knew nothing or next to nothing.</p>
-
-<p>One of the people whom he thus unconsciously watched was a man whom he
-had already noted on several evenings lately, and as to whose condition
-he was in some perplexity. The first evening Edgar had half stumbled
-over him with the idea that he was one of the servants, and in the
-glance of identification with which he begged pardon, decided that,
-though not one of the servants, he must be a shopkeeper, perhaps well
-off and retired, whom somebody had introduced, or who had been admitted
-by one of those chances which permit the rich to enter everywhere. Next
-evening when he saw the same man again, he rubbed out as it were with
-his finger the word shopkeeper, which he had, so to speak, written
-across him, and wrote “city-man” instead. A city-man may be anything; he
-may be what penny-a-liners call a merchant prince, without losing the
-characteristic features of his class. This man was about forty-five, he
-had a long face, with good but commonplace features, hair getting scanty
-on the top, and brown whiskers growing long into two points, after the
-fashion of the day. The first time he was in evening dress, having come
-in after dinner, which was the reason why Edgar took him for one of the
-attendants. The next time<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154">{154}</a></span> he was in less elaborate costume, and looked
-better; for evening dress is trying to a man who has not the <i>air noble</i>
-which christianizes those hideous garments. The third night again,
-Edgar, in imagination, drew a pen through the word “city-man,” and
-wondered whether the stranger could be a successful artist, a great
-portrait-painter, something of that description, a prosperous man to
-whom art had become the most facile and most lucrative of trades. On
-this particular night he again changed his opinion, crossed the word
-artist and put man about town, indefinitest of designations, yet
-infinitely separated from all the others. Thus blurred and overwritten
-by so many attempts at definition, the new-comer attracted his
-attention, he could scarcely tell why. There was nothing remarkable
-about the man; he had grey eyes, a nose without much character, loose
-lips disposed to talk, an amiable sort of commonness, eagerness,
-universal curiosity in his aspect. He knew most people in the room, and
-went and talked to them, to each a little; he looked at all the papers
-without choice of politics; he took down a great many books, looked at
-them and put them back again. Edgar grew a little interested in him on
-this special evening. He had a long conversation with one of the
-servants, and talked to him sympathetically, almost anxiously, ending by
-giving him an address, which the man received with great appearance of
-gratitude. Might he be a physician perhaps? But his bearing and his
-looks were alike against this hypothesis. “Benevolent,” Edgar said to
-himself.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155">{155}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>His attention, however, was quite drawn away from this stranger by the
-sudden entrance of Lord Newmarch, who like himself was a member of the
-club, and who came in hurriedly, accompanied by some one less dignified
-but more eager than himself, with whom he was discussing some subject
-which required frequent reference to books. Edgar felt his heart stir as
-he perceived the great man enter. Was it possible that his fate
-depended, absolutely depended, upon the pleasure of this man&mdash;that two
-words from him might make his fortune secure, or plunge him into a
-deeper and sickening uncertainty which could mean only ruin? Good
-heaven, was it possible? A kind of inertness, moral cowardice, he did
-not know what to call it&mdash;perhaps the shrinking a doomed man feels from
-actual hearing of his fate&mdash;had kept him from going to the office to put
-the arbiter of his destinies in mind of his promise. Now he could not
-let this opportunity slip; he must go to him, he must ask him what was
-to be the result. Up to this morning he had felt himself sure of his
-post, now he felt just as sure of rejection. Both impressions no doubt
-were equally unreasonable; but who can defend himself against such
-impressions? Gradually Edgar grew breathless as he watched that
-discussion which looked as if it would never end. What could it be
-about? Some vague philanthropico-political question, some bit of
-doctrinarianism of importance to nobody&mdash;while his was a matter of death
-and life. To be sure this was his own fault, for he might, as you will
-perceive, dear reader, have gone to Lord Newmarch<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156">{156}</a></span> any day, and found
-him at his office, where probably, amid all the sublime business there,
-Edgar’s affairs had gone entirely out of his head. But if you think the
-suggestion that it was his own fault made the suspense now a
-straw-weight more easy to him, this is a point on which I do not agree
-with you. The consequences of our own faults are in all circumstances
-the most difficult to bear.</p>
-
-<p>Oddly enough, the stranger whom Edgar had been watching, seemed anxious
-to speak to Lord Newmarch too. Edgar’s eyes met his in their mutual
-watch upon the Minister, who went on disputing with his companion,
-referring to book after book. It was some military question of which I
-suppose Lord Newmarch knew as much as his grandmother did, and the other
-was a hapless soldier endeavouring in vain to convey a lucid description
-and understanding of some important technical matter to the head of the
-Secretary of State. In vain; Lord Newmarch did not try to understand&mdash;he
-explained; to many people this method of treating information is so much
-the most natural. And the stranger watched him on one side, and Edgar on
-the other. Their eyes met more than once, and after a while the humour
-of the situation struck Edgar, even in his trouble, and he smiled; upon
-which a great revolution made itself apparent in the other’s
-countenance. He smiled too; not with the sense of humour which moved
-Edgar, but with a gleam of kindness in his face, which threw a certain
-beauty over it. Edgar was struck with a strange surprise: he was taken
-aback at the same<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157">{157}</a></span> time, he felt as if somehow he must have appealed to
-the kindness, the almost pity in the other’s face. What had he done to
-call forth such an expression? His newborn pride jumped up in arms; and
-yet there was no possibility of offence meant, and nothing to warrant
-offence being taken. Edgar, however, averted his eyes hastily, and
-watched Lord Newmarch no more. And then he took himself to task, and
-asked himself, Was it an offence to look at him kindly? Was he offended
-by a friendly glance? Good heavens! what was he coming to, if it was so.</p>
-
-<p>Presently Edgar’s heart beat still higher, for Lord Newmarch’s companion
-rose to go, and he, having caught sight of the stranger, remained, and
-went up to him holding out his hand. Edgar could but wait on, and bide
-his time; his book was still before him, at which he had never looked. A
-sickening sense of humiliation crept over him. He felt all the misery of
-dependence; here was he, so lately this man’s equal, waiting, sickening
-for a word from him, for a look, wondering what he would say,
-questioning with himself, while his heart beat higher and higher, and
-the breath came quickly on his lips. Good heavens, wondering what
-Newmarch would say! a man whom he had so laughed at, made fun of, but
-who was now to be the very arbiter of his fate, whose word would make
-all the difference between a secure and useful and worthy future, and
-that impoverishment of hope, and means, and capability altogether, which
-some call ruin&mdash;and justly call.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158">{158}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>While Edgar sat thus waiting, excitement gradually gaming upon him, he
-saw with some surprise that the man to whom he had given so many
-different descriptions, was drawing back and pushing Lord Newmarch
-towards him; and seeing this, he got up, with a half-shrinking from his
-fate, half-eagerness to hear it.</p>
-
-<p>“All right,” said the unknown, “your turn first. The great man must give
-us all audience in turn;” and with a little nod he went to the other end
-of the room and took up a newspaper, of which he probably made as little
-use as Edgar had been doing of his book.</p>
-
-<p>“Droll fellow!” said Newmarch, “how d’ye do, eh, Earnshaw? I have been
-in town this month past, but you have never looked me up.”</p>
-
-<p>“I feared to bore you,” said Edgar, hastily.</p>
-
-<p>“It is my business never to be bored,” said Lord Newmarch, with a
-certain solemnity, which was natural to him. “Where have you been&mdash;in
-the country? what here all this time! I wish I had known; I seldom come
-here, except for the library, which is wonderfully good, as perhaps you
-know. That was Cheeseman that was arguing with me&mdash;Cheeseman, you know,
-one of those practical people&mdash;and insists upon his own way.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder,” said Edgar, uneasily, “whether you have ever thought again
-of a small matter I went to you about?”</p>
-
-<p>“What, the messengership?” said Lord Newmarch, “what do you take me
-for&mdash;eh, Earnshaw? Of course I have thought of it; there is never a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159">{159}</a></span>
-week that I do not hope something may happen to old Runtherout; I don’t
-mean anything fatal of course; but there he sticks from month to month,
-and probably so he will from year to year.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar felt his countenance falling, falling. He felt, or thought he
-felt, his jaw drop. He felt his heart go down, down, like a stone. He
-put a miserable smile upon his miserable face. “Then I suppose there is
-no chance for me,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, my dear fellow, certainly there is a chance&mdash;as much chance as
-there ever was,” said Lord Newmarch, cheerfully, “these things, of
-course, cannot be altered all at once, but as soon as old Runtherout
-gives up, which cannot be long&mdash;I do not mind for my part what anyone
-says, I shall put you in. If you only knew what it would have been to me
-to have you in Berlin now! You speak German quite fluently, don’t you?
-Good heavens, what a loss to me!”</p>
-
-<p>And, good heavens what a loss to me! Edgar felt disposed to say. As much
-chance as there ever was! then what had the chance been at first, for
-which he had wasted so much time and all his little stock of money. God
-help him! he had to receive the news with a smile, the best he could
-muster, and to listen to Lord Newmarch’s assurance that a few months
-could make very little difference. “Oh, very little difference!” echoed
-poor Edgar, with that curious fictitious brassy (why he thought it was
-brassy I cannot tell, but that was the adjective he used to himself)
-brassy imitation of a smile; and Lord Newmarch went on talking somehow
-up<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160">{160}</a></span> in the air beside him, about a number of things, to which he said
-yes and no mechanically with some certain kind of appropriateness, I
-suppose, for nobody seemed to find out the semi-consciousness in which
-he was&mdash;until the great man suddenly recollected that he must speak a
-few words to Tottenham, and fell back upon the man with worn grey eyes
-and loose lips, who sprang up from behind his newspaper like a jack in a
-box. Edgar, for his part, dropped down in his chair something like the
-same toy when shut up in its hiding-place. There was a buzzing in his
-ears again as there had been when he had his first interview with the
-Minister&mdash;but this time the giddiness was more overpowering; a hundred
-thoughts passed through his mind in a moment, each crowding upon each, a
-noiseless, breathless crowd. What was he to do? Everything seemed to be
-shown to him in the space of a moment, as fable says, a whole lifetime
-is shown in a moment to those who die suddenly. Good God! a few months!
-what was he to do?</p>
-
-<p>Some people can face the prospect of living for a few months on nothing
-quite pleasantly, and some people do it habitually (without being at all
-bad people), and get through somehow, and come to no tragical end. But
-Edgar was young and unaccustomed to poverty. He was even unaccustomed to
-live from hand to mouth, as so many of us do, light-hearted wretches,
-without taking thought for the morrow. It was some time, it was true,
-before he was roused to think of the morrow at all, but, when he did, it
-seized upon him like a vulture. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161">{161}</a></span> sank back into his chair, and sat
-there like a log, with vacant eyes, but mind preternaturally busy and
-occupied. What was he to do?</p>
-
-<p>He was roused from this outward stupor, but inner ferment, by seeing
-Newmarch again come up accompanied by the stranger, whose very existence
-he had forgotten. “Mr. Tottenham, Mr. Edgar Earnshaw,” said the
-Under-Secretary, “one of my best friends. Come and see me, won’t you, in
-Eaton Place. I must go now; and come to the office soon, and let us talk
-your affair over. The moment old Runtherout will consent to take himself
-out of the way&mdash;As for you, Tottenham, I envy you. All your schemes in
-your own hands, no chief to thwart you, no office to keep on
-recommending this man and that, when they know you have a man of your
-own. You may thank heaven that you have only your own theories to serve,
-and not Her Majesty. Good night, good night.”</p>
-
-<p>“Good night,” said Edgar, absently.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham said nothing, but he gave Lord Newmarch a finger to shake,
-and turned to his new companion, who sat with his head down, and paid
-little attention to his presence. He fixed his eyes very closely on
-Edgar, which is a thing that can scarcely be done without attracting
-finally the notice of the person looked at. When he had caught Edgar’s
-wondering but dazed and dreamy look, he smiled&mdash;the same smile by which
-Edgar had already been half pleased, half angered.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw,” he said, “you have a story, and I know it. I hope I
-should have tried to be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162">{162}</a></span>have as well myself; but I don’t know. And I
-have a story too. Will you come into the smoking-room if you have
-nothing better to do, and I’ll tell it you? I call it the history of a
-very hard case. Newmarch left you to me as his substitute, for he knew I
-wanted to talk. I like the exchange. He’s a profound blockhead, though
-he’s Secretary of State. Come and smoke a cigar.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar rose mechanically, he scarcely knew why; he was pale; he felt his
-legs almost give way under him as he moved across the passage to the
-smoking-room. He did not want to smoke, nor to know Mr. Tottenham’s
-story; but he had not strength of mind to resist what was asked of him.</p>
-
-<p>“A few months,” he kept saying to himself. It seemed to him that a
-sudden indifference to everything else, to all things greater and more
-distant, had come into his mind. For the first time in his life he was
-self-engrossed, self-absorbed, able to think of nothing but his own
-necessities, and what he was to do. So strange was this to Edgar, so
-miserable did he feel it, that even on the short journey from one room
-to another he made an effort to shake off the sudden chains with which
-this sudden necessity had bound him, and was appalled by his own
-weakness, almost by a sense of guilt, when he found that he could take
-no interest whatever in Mr. Tottenham, that he could think of nothing
-but himself. For the first time, there was nobody but himself involved;
-no justice to be done, no kindness to be shown to others. Wherever other
-people are concerned, a certain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163">{163}</a></span> breadth, a certain freedom and
-largeness, come into the question, even though the other people may be
-poor and small enough; but how mean the generous man feels, how petty
-and miserable, when he, and he only, becomes by any twist of fortune the
-centre of all his thoughts!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164">{164}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.<br /><br />
-<small>A new Friend.</small></h2>
-
-<p>“I hope I should have done exactly as you did in that Arden business,”
-said Mr. Tottenham; “but I can’t tell. The amount of meanness and
-falseness to all one’s own rules which one feels in one’s self in a
-great emergency is wonderful. I never put any dependence on myself. Now
-I will tell who, or rather what I am. The pronoun Who is inappropriate
-in my case. I am nobody; but when you know what I am&mdash;if, indeed, my
-name does not tell you&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Edgar, forcing himself into attention.</p>
-
-<p>“It is not a bad name; there are fine people, I believe, who bear it,
-and who hold up their heads with the best. But if you belonged to a
-middle-class London family, and had a mother and sisters, you would have
-no difficulty in identifying me. I am not a Tottenham with a Christian
-name like other people. I am Tottenham’s, in the possessive case.”</p>
-
-<p>“I begin to understand,” said Edgar.</p>
-
-<p>What an effort it was to him! But he grew more capable of making the
-effort as he tried to make it, and actually looked up now with a gleam
-of intelligence in his eye.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165">{165}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“You begin to realize me,” said his companion. “I am Tottenham’s. I have
-been Tottenham’s all my life. My father died when I was only a small
-boy. I hope, though I don’t know, that he might have had sense enough to
-habituate me to my fate from the beginning, which would have made it
-much easier. But my mother, unfortunately, was a lady, or thought
-herself so. She brought me up as if there was not such a thing as a shop
-in the world. She buys everything at Howell and James’s of set purpose
-and malice prepense, when she could get all she wants at cost price in
-our own place; to be sure she can afford it, thanks to the shop. I never
-knew anything about this said shop till I was at Eton, when I denied the
-connection stoutly, and fought for it, and came off triumphant, though
-the other fellow was the biggest. When I went home for the holidays, I
-told the story. ‘You were quite right not to give in to it, my dear,’
-said my mother. ‘But is it true?’ said I. Poor dear, how she
-prevaricated! She would not have told a lie for the world, but a tiny
-little bit of a fib did not seem so bad. Accordingly I found it out, and
-had to go back to Eton, and beg the fellow’s pardon, and tell him it
-wasn’t a lie he told, but the truth, only I had not known it. I don’t
-think any of them thought the worse of me for that.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should think not,” cried Edgar, beginning to rouse up.</p>
-
-<p>“No, I don’t suppose they did; but from that day I became thin-skinned,
-as people call it, and scented the shop afar off in everything people
-said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166">{166}</a></span> My mother’s contempt for it, and shame of it, got deep into my
-mind. I grew sensitive. I did not like to give my name when I went
-anywhere. I felt sure some one would say, ‘Oh, Tottenham’s!’ when my
-card was taken in. I can’t tell you the misery this gave me all through
-school and college. I hated the shop, and was afraid of it. I was
-morbidly ashamed of my name. I went and wandered about in vacation,
-wearing other men’s names as I might have borrowed their coats. Not
-without their consent, mind you,” he added, sharply. “I did nothing
-dishonourable; but I had a horror of being Tottenham, a horror which I
-cannot describe.”</p>
-
-<p>“That was strange!”</p>
-
-<p>“You think so? Well, so do I <i>now</i>; and it was very unfortunate for me.
-It got me into many scrapes; it almost cost me my wife. You don’t know
-my wife? I must take you out to see her. I was introduced to her under
-somebody else’s name&mdash;not a very distinguished name, it is true, Smith,
-or Brown, or something, and under that name she accepted me; but when I
-told her how things really were, her countenance flamed like that of the
-angel, do you remember? in Milton, when Adam says something caddish&mdash;I
-forget what exactly. How she did look at me! ‘Ashamed of your name!’ she
-said, ‘and yet ask <i>me</i> to share it!’ There is pride and pride,” said
-Mr. Tottenham to himself with musing admiration. “The poor dear mother
-thought she was proud; Mary <i>is</i> so; that makes all the difference. I
-got into such trouble as I never was in all my life. She sent me right<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167">{167}</a></span>
-away; she would have nothing to say to me; she cast me off as you might
-cast away that cinder with that pair of tongs. For a time I was the most
-miserable fellow on the face of the earth. I wandered about the place
-where she lived night and day; but even then, if you will believe me, it
-cost me a very hard struggle indeed to get to the shop. When I was
-desperate, I did.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why is he telling <i>me</i> all this, I wonder?” said Edgar to himself; but
-he was interested, he could not tell how, and had raised his head, and
-for the moment shaken off something of the burden from his own back.</p>
-
-<p>“I made up my mind to it, and went at last,” said this odd man, puffing
-at his cigar with a vehemence that made it evident he felt it still. “I
-found that nobody wanted me there; that everybody preferred not to be
-interfered with; that the managers had fallen each into his own way, and
-had no desire for me to meddle. But I am not the sort of man that can
-stand and look on with his hands in his pockets. You will wonder, and
-perhaps you will despise me, when I tell you that I found Tottenham’s on
-the whole a very interesting place.”</p>
-
-<p>“I neither wonder nor despise,” said Edgar. “What did you do?”</p>
-
-<p>“What didn’t I do?” said Mr. Tottenham, with rueful humour. “I did all
-the mischief possible. I turned the whole place upside down. I
-diminished the profits for that year by a third part. I changed the
-well-known good order of Tottenham’s into<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168">{168}</a></span> confusion worse confounded.
-The old managers resigned in a body. By-the-way, they stayed on all but
-one afterwards, when I asked them. As for the assistants, there was
-civil war in the place, and more than one free fight between the
-different sides; for some sided with me, perhaps because they approved
-of me, perhaps because I was the master, and could do what I liked; but
-the end was that I stayed there three months, worked there, and then
-wrote to Mary; and she took me back.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am very glad to hear it,” said Edgar; and he smiled and sighed with
-natural sympathy.</p>
-
-<p>He had become quite interested in the story by this time, and totally
-forgotten all about his own miseries. He came out of his cloud finally
-just at this point, and took, at last, the cigar which his new friend
-had from time to time offered him.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! come now, this is comfortable,” said Tottenham. “Up to that moment
-mine had been a very hard case, don’t you think so? I don’t pretend to
-have anything more to grumble about. But, having had a hard case myself,
-I sympathize with other people. Yours was a horribly hard case. Tell me
-now, that other fellow, that Arden scamp! I know him&mdash;as proud as
-Lucifer, and as wicked as all the rest of the evil spirits put
-together&mdash;do you mean to say he allowed you to go away, and give him up
-all that fine property, and save him thousands of pounds in a lawsuit,
-without making some provision for you? Such a thing was never heard of.”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Edgar; “don’t be unjust to him. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169">{169}</a></span> was a bitter pill for me
-to take a penny from him; but I did, because they made me.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you’ve spent it all!”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar laughed; he could not help it. His elastic nature had mounted up
-again; he began to feel sure that he could not be ruined so completely
-after all; he must be able to do something. He looked up at his
-questioner with eyes full of humour. Mr. Tottenham, who was standing in
-front as grave as a judge, looked at him, and did not laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t see the fun,” he said. “You shouldn’t have done it. You have
-let yourself drop half out of recollection before you asked for
-anything, whereas you should have got provided for at once. Hang it all!
-I suppose there are some places yet where a man in office may place a
-friend&mdash;and some opportunities left to put a good man in by means of a
-job, instead of putting in a bad man by competition, or seniority, or
-some other humbug. You should have done that at first.”</p>
-
-<p>“Possibly,” said Edgar, who had been amused, not by the idea of having
-spent all his money, but by that of making a clean breast to this man,
-whom he had never spoken to before, of the most private particulars of
-his life.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham made a few turns about the room, where there was for the
-moment nobody but themselves. He said then suddenly,</p>
-
-<p>“I take an interest in you. I should like to help you if I could.
-Tottenham’s is no end of a good property, and I can do what I like<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170">{170}</a></span>&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I am sure I am very much obliged,” said Edgar, laughing. “I should
-thank you still more warmly if it were not so funny. Why should you take
-an interest in me?”</p>
-
-<p>“It is odd, perhaps,” said the other; but he did not laugh. A smile ran
-over his face, that was all, and passed again like a momentary light.
-Then he added, “It is not so odd as you think. If I could conceal from
-you who my wife was, I might be tempted to do so; but I can’t, for
-though I’m only Tottenham’s, she’s in the peerage. My Mary is sister to
-Augusta Thornleigh, who&mdash;well, who <i>knew</i> you, my dear fellow. Look
-here! She’s fashionable and all that; she would not let you see her
-daughters, at present, if she could help it; but she’s a good woman,
-mind. I have heard her tell your story. If ever there was a hard case,
-that was one; and when I heard of it, I resolved, if I ever had the
-chance, to stand by you. You behaved like a gentleman. Since we have
-been made acquainted, Earnshaw, we have not shaken hands yet!”</p>
-
-<p>They did it now very heartily; and in those restless grey eyes, which
-were worn by sheer use and perpetual motion, there glimmered some
-moisture. Edgar’s eyes were dry, but his whole heart was melted. There
-was a pause for a minute or more, and the ashes fell softly on the
-hearth, and the clock ticked on the mantel-piece. Then Edgar asked, “How
-are they all?” with that sound in his utterance which the French in
-their delicate discrimination call tears in the voice.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171">{171}</a></span></p>
-<p>“Quite well, quite well!” said Tottenham hurriedly; and then he added,
-“We didn’t come here to speak of them. Earnshaw, I want you to come to
-my house.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is very kind of you,” said Edgar. “I think I have seen Lady Mary.
-She is very sweet and lively, like&mdash;some one else; with fair hair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Isn’t she?” cried Lady Mary’s admiring husband; and his eyes glowed
-again. “I want you to come and stay with us while this business with
-Newmarch gets settled.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why?” said Edgar, with genuine surprise; and then he added, “You are a
-great deal too good. I should like to go for a day or two. I haven’t
-spoken to a lady for months.”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor fellow!” said Mr. Tottenham, taking no notice of the “Why?” “We
-live only a little way out of town, on account of the shop. I have never
-neglected the shop since the time I told you about. She would not let me
-for that matter. Nobody, you see, can snub <i>her</i>, in consequence of her
-rank; and partly for her sake, partly because I’m rich, I suppose,
-nobody tries to snub me. There are many of my plans in which you could
-help me very much&mdash;for a time, you know, till Newmarch comes off.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are very kind,” said Edgar; but his attention wandered after this,
-and other thoughts came into his mind, thoughts of himself and his
-forlorn condition, and of the profound uncertainty into which he and all
-his ways had been plunged. He scarcely paid any attention to the
-arrangements Mr. Tottenham immediately made, though he remem<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172">{172}</a></span>bered that
-he promised to go out with him next day to Tottenham’s, as his house was
-called. “The same as the shop,” he said, with a twinkle in the corner of
-his grey eye. Edgar consented to these arrangements passively; but his
-patience was worn out, and he was very anxious to get away.</p>
-
-<p>And so this strange evening came to an end, and the morning after it.
-The new day arose, a smoky, foggy, wintry morning, through which so many
-people went to work; but not Edgar. He looked out upon the world from
-his window with a failing heart. Even from Kensington and Brompton,
-though these are not mercantile suburbs, crowds of men were jolting
-along on all the omnibuses, crowds pouring down on either side of the
-street&mdash;to work. The shop people went along the road getting and
-delivering orders; the maid-servants bustled about the doors in the
-foggy, uncertain light; the omnibuses rushed on, on, in a continuous
-stream; and everybody was busy. Those who had no work to do, pretended
-at least to be busy too; the idlers had not come out yet, had not
-stirred, and the active portion of the world were having everything
-their own way. Edgar had revived from his depression, but he had not
-regained his <i>insouciance</i> and trust in the future. On the contrary, he
-was full of the heaviest uncertainty and care. He could not wait longer
-for this appointment, which might keep him hanging on half his life,
-which was just as near now as when he began to calculate on having it
-“about Christmas;” probably the next Christmas would see it just as
-uncertain still. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173">{173}</a></span> must, he felt, attempt something else, and change
-his tactics altogether. He must leave his expensive lodgings at once;
-but alas! he had a big bill for them, which he had meant to pay off his
-first quarter’s salary. He had meant to pay it the moment that blessed
-money for which he should have worked came; and now there was no
-appearance, no hope of it ever coming&mdash;at least, only as much hope as
-there had always been, no more.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Edgar! he might have rushed out of doors and taken to the first
-manual work he could find as his heart bade him; but to go and solicit
-somebody once more, and hang on and wait, dependent upon the
-recollection or the caprice of some one or other who could give
-employment, but might, out of mere wantonness, withhold it&mdash;this was
-harder than any kind of work. He could dig, he felt, and would dig
-willingly, or do any other thing that was hard and simple and
-straightforward; but to beg for means of working he was ashamed; and
-there seemed something so miserable, so full of the spirit of dependence
-in having to wait on day by day doing nothing, waiting till something
-might fall into his hands. How infinitely better off working men were,
-he said to himself; not thinking that even the blessed working man, who
-is free from the restraints and punctilios which bind gentlemen, has yet
-to stand and wait, and ask for work too, with the best.</p>
-
-<p>He went back to Mr. Parchemin that morning.</p>
-
-<p>“I have been waiting for Lord Newmarch,” he said; “he promised me a post
-about Christmas, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174">{174}</a></span> now he tells me there is just as much hope as
-ever, but no more. I must do something else. Could you not take me in as
-clerk in your own office? I should not mind a small salary to start
-with; anything would do.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Parchemin laughed, a dry and echoing “Ha, ha!” which was as dusty
-and dry as his office.</p>
-
-<p>“A strange clerk you would make,” he said, looking over his shoulder to
-conceal his amusement. “Can you engross?”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course not. How should I? But if a man were to try&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know anything about the law? Of what possible use could you be
-to us? No; you are a fancy article, entirely a fancy article.
-Government,” said the old lawyer, “Government is the thing for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Government does not seem to see it in that light,” said Edgar. “I have
-waited since October.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Sir! October is but three months off. You can’t expect, like a
-child, to have your wants supplied the moment you ask for anything. A
-slice of cake may be given in that way, but not an appointment. You must
-have patience, Mr. Earnshaw, you must have patience,” said the old man.</p>
-
-<p>“But I have spent the half of my hundred pounds,” Edgar was about to
-say; but something withheld him; he could not do it. Should he not
-furnish the old lawyer by so doing with an unquestionable argument
-against himself? Should he not expose his own foolishness, the
-foolishness of the man who<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175">{175}</a></span> thought himself able to give up everything
-for others, and then could do nothing but run into debt and ruin on his
-own account? Edgar could not do it; he resolved rather to struggle on
-upon nothing, rather to starve, though that was a figure of speech, than
-to put himself so much in anyone’s power; which was pride, no doubt, but
-a useful kind of pride, which sometimes keeps an erring man out of
-further trouble. He went back at once, and paid his landlord a portion
-of what he owed him, and removed his goods to a small upstairs room
-which he found he could have cheap, and might have had all the time had
-he been wise enough to ask. It was the room in which his own servant had
-slept when he travelled with such an appendage; but the new-born pride
-which had struggled into existence in Edgar’s mind had no such ignoble
-part in it as to afflict him on this account. He was quite happy to go
-up to his man’s room, where everything was clean and homely, and felt no
-derogation of his personal dignity. Thank Heaven, this was one thing
-done at least&mdash;a step taken, though nothing could be gained by it, only
-something spared.</p>
-
-<p>In the afternoon Mr. Tottenham met him at his club, driving a pair of
-handsome horses in a smart phaeton, such a turnout as only a rich man’s
-can be, everything about it perfect. Edgar had not indulged in any
-luxurious tastes during his own brief reign; it had been perhaps too
-short to develop them; but he recognised the perfect appointments of the
-vehicle with a half sigh of satisfaction and reminiscence. He did not
-say, why should this man<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176">{176}</a></span> be lucky enough to have all this when I have
-nothing? as so many people do. He was not given to such comparisons, to
-that ceaseless contrast of self with the rest of the world, which is so
-common. He half smiled at himself for half sighing over the day when he
-too might have had everything that heart could desire, and smiled more
-than half at the whimsical thought that he had not taken the good of his
-wealth half so much then as he would have done now, had he the chance.
-He seemed to himself&mdash;knowing how short Edgar Arden’s tenure was&mdash;to be
-aware of a hundred things which Edgar might have done to amuse and
-delight him, which indeed Edgar Arden, knowing nothing of his own short
-tenure, and believing life to be very long and much delight awaiting
-him, never dreamt of making any haste to procure. A curious sense of
-well-being seemed to take hold of him as he bowled along the suburban
-roads by Mr. Tottenham’s side, wrapped in one of the fur coats which the
-chill and foggy evening made comfortable, watching the long lines of
-lamps that twinkled and stretched out like a golden thread, and then
-were left behind as in the twinkling of an eye. To hear of Lady Mary
-Tottenham, who was Lady Augusta’s sister, and aunt to all the young
-Thornleighs, seemed somehow like being wafted back to the old
-atmosphere, to the state of affairs which lasted so short a time and
-ended so suddenly; but which was, notwithstanding its brevity, the most
-important and influential moment of his life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177">{177}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.<br /><br />
-<small>The Enchanted Palace.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Tottenham’s</span> was about five miles from London on the Bayswater side. It
-was a huge house, standing upon a little eminence, and surrounded by
-acres of park and clouds of thick but leafless trees, which looked
-ghostly enough in the Winter darkness. The fog had faded away from them
-long before they got so far, and had been replaced by the starlight
-clearness of a very cold evening; the sky was almost black, the points
-of light in it dead white, and all the landscape, so far as it was
-perceptible, an Indian ink landscape in faintly differing shades of
-black and deepest grey. Nevertheless it was a relief to breathe the
-fresh country air, after the damp fog which had clung to their throats
-and blinded their eyes. The roads were still hard, though there were
-signs of the breaking up of the frost, and the horses’ hoofs rang as
-they dashed along.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s a nice place,” Mr. Tottenham said, “though I, of course, only
-bought it from the old people, who fortunately were not very venerable
-nor very desirable. It had a fine name before, and it was Mary’s idea to
-call it Tottenham’s. As we cannot ignore the shop, it is as well to take
-the full advantage of it. The worst thing is,” he added lowering<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178">{178}</a></span> his
-voice, “it hurts the servants’ feelings dreadfully. We have at last
-managed to get a butler who sees the humour of it, and acknowledges the
-shop with a condescending sense that the fact of <i>his</i> serving a
-shopkeeper is the best joke in the world. You will notice a
-consciousness of this highly humorous position at once in his face; but
-it is a bitter pill to the rest of the household. The housemaids and our
-friend behind us, cannot bear any reference to the degradation. You will
-respect their feelings, Earnshaw? I am sure you will take care to show a
-seemly respect for their feelings.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar laughed, and Mr. Tottenham went on. He was a very easy man to talk
-with; indeed he did most of the conversation himself, and was so
-pleasantly full of his home and his wife and his evident happiness, that
-no one, or at least no one so sympathetic as Edgar, could have
-stigmatized with unkind names the lengthened monologue. There was this
-excuse for it on the other hand, that he was thus making himself and his
-belongings known to a stranger whom he had determined to make a friend
-of. Few people dislike to talk about themselves when they can throw off
-all fear of ridicule, and have a tolerable excuse for their fluency. We
-all like it, dear reader; we know it sounds egotistical, and the wiser
-we are the more we avoid exposing our weakness; but yet when we can feel
-it is safe and believe that it is justified, how pleasant it is to tell
-some fresh and sympathetic listener all about ourselves! Perhaps this is
-one of the reasons why youth is so pleasant a companion to age, because<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179">{179}</a></span>
-the revelations on each side can be full and lengthened without
-unsuitability or fear of misconstruction. Edgar, too, possessed many of
-the qualities which make a good listener. He was in a subdued state of
-mind, and had no particular desire to talk in his own person; he had no
-history for the moment that would bear telling; he was glad enough to be
-carried lightly along upon the stream of this other man’s story, which
-amused him, if nothing else. Edgar’s life had come to a pause; he lay
-quiescent between two periods, not knowing where the next tide might
-lift him, or what might be the following chapter. He was like a
-traveller in the night, looking in through a hospitable open window at
-some interior all bright with firelight and happiness, getting to
-recognise which was which in the household party round the fire, and
-listening with a gratitude more warm and effusive than had the service
-been a greater one, to the hospitable invitation to enter. As well might
-such a traveller have censured the openness which drew no curtains and
-closed no shutters, and warmed his breast with the sight of comfort and
-friendliness, as Edgar could have called Mr. Tottenham’s talk
-egotistical. For had not he too been called in for rest and shelter out
-of the night?</p>
-
-<p>He felt as in a dream when he entered the house, and was led through the
-great hall and staircase, and into the bright rooms to be presented to
-Lady Mary, who came forward to meet her husband’s new friend with the
-kindest welcome. She was a little light woman with quantities of fair
-hair, lively, and gay, and kind, with nothing of the worn<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180">{180}</a></span> look which
-distinguished her husband, but a fresh air, almost of girlhood, in her
-slight figure and light movements. She was so like <i>some one else</i>, that
-Edgar’s heart beat at sight of her, as it had not beat for years before.
-Gussy Thornleigh had gone out of his life, for ever, as he thought. He
-had given her up completely, hopelessly&mdash;and he had not felt at the time
-of this renunciation that his love for her had ever reached the length
-of passion, or that this was one of the partings which crush all
-thoughts of possible happiness out of the heart. But, notwithstanding,
-her idea had somehow lingered about him, as ideas passionately cherished
-do not always do. When he had been still and musing, the light little
-figure, the pretty head with its curls, the half laughing, half wise
-look with which this little girl would discourse to him upon everything
-in earth and heaven, had got into a way of coming up before him with the
-most astonishing reality and vividness. “I was not so very much in love
-with Gussy,” he had said to himself very often at such moments, with a
-whimsical mixture of surprise and complaint. No, he had not been so very
-much in love with her; yet she had haunted him all these three years.
-Lady Mary was only her aunt, which is not always an attractive
-relationship; generally, indeed, the likeness between a pretty girl and
-a middle-aged woman is rather discouraging to a lover, as showing to
-what plump and prosaic good condition his ethereal darling may come,
-than delightful; but Edgar had no sham sentiment about him, and was not
-apt to be assailed by any such unreal disgusts, even<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181">{181}</a></span> had there been
-anything to call them forth. Lady Mary, however, was still as
-lightfooted and light-hearted as Gussy herself. She had the same
-abundant fair hair, the same lively sweet eyes, never without the
-possibility of a laugh in them, and never anything but kind. She came up
-to Edgar holding out both her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“You are not a stranger to me,” she said, “don’t introduce him, Tom. The
-only difficulty I have about you, is how to address you as Mr.
-Earnshaw&mdash;but that is only for the first moment. Sit down and thaw, both
-of you, and I will give you some tea&mdash;that is if you want tea. We have
-nobody with us for a day or two fortunately, and you will just have time
-to get acquainted with us, Mr. Earnshaw, and know all our ways before
-any one else comes.”</p>
-
-<p>“But a day or two ought to be the limit&mdash;” Edgar began, hesitating.</p>
-
-<p>“What! you have said nothing?” said Lady Mary, hastily turning to her
-husband. He put his finger on his lip.</p>
-
-<p>“You are a most impetuous little person, Mary,” he said, “you don’t know
-the kind of bird we have got into the net. You think he will let you
-openly and without any illusion put salt upon his tail. No greater
-mistake could be. Earnshaw,” he added calmly, “come and let me show you
-your room. We dine directly, as we are alone and above ceremony. You can
-talk to my wife as much as you like after dinner&mdash;I shall go to sleep.
-What a blessing it is to be allowed to go to sleep after dinner,” he
-went on as he led the way upstairs,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182">{182}</a></span> “especially on Saturday night&mdash;when
-one is tired and has Sunday to look forward to.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why should it be especially blessed on Saturday night?”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear fellow,” said the host solemnly, ushering his guest into a
-large and pleasant room, brilliant with firelight, “it is very clear
-that you have never kept a shop.”</p>
-
-<p>And with these words he disappeared, leaving Edgar, it must be allowed,
-somewhat disturbed in his mind as to what it could all mean, why he had
-been thus selected as a visitor and conducted to this fairy palace; what
-it was that the wife wondered her husband had not said&mdash;and indeed what
-the whole incident meant? As he looked round upon his luxurious
-quarters, and felt himself restored as it were to the life he had so
-long abandoned, curious dreams and fancies came fluttering about Edgar
-without any will of his own. It was like the adventure (often enough
-repeated) in the Arabian nights, in which the hero is met by some
-mysterious mute and blindfolded, and led into a mysterious hall, all
-cool with plashing fountains and sweet with flowers. These images were
-not exactly suited to the wintry drive he had just taken, though that
-was pleasant enough in its way, and no bed of roses could have been so
-agreeable as the delightful glimpse of the fire, and all the warm and
-soft comfort about him. But had he been blindfolded&mdash;had he been brought
-unawares into some beneficent snare? Edgar’s heart began to beat a
-little quicker than usual. He did not know and dared<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183">{183}</a></span> not have whispered
-to himself what the fancies were that beset him. He tried to frown them
-down, to represent to himself that he was mad, that the curious freak of
-his new friend, and his own long fasting from all social intercourse had
-made this first taste of it too much for his brain. But all that he
-could do was not enough to free him from the wild fancies which buzzed
-about him like gnats in Summer, each with its own particular hum and
-sting. He dressed hurriedly and took a book by way of escaping from
-them, a dry book which he compelled himself to read, rather than go
-crazy altogether. Good heavens, was he mad already? In that mysterious
-palace where the hero is brought blindfold, where he is waited on by
-unseen hands, and finds glorious garments and wonderful feasts magically
-prepared for him, is there not always in reserve a princess more
-wonderful still, who takes possession of the wayfarer? “Retro, Satanas!”
-cried poor Edgar, throwing the book from him, feeling his cheeks flush
-and burn like a girl’s, and his heart leap into his throat. No greater
-madness, no greater folly could be. It was no doing of his, he protested
-to himself with indignation and dismay. Some evil spirit had got hold of
-him; he refused to think, and yet these dreamy mocking fancies would get
-into his head. It was a relief beyond description to him when the dinner
-bell rang and he could hurry downstairs. When he went into the
-drawing-room, however, all the buzzing brood of thoughts which fluttered
-within him, grew still and departed in a moment; his heart ceased to
-thump, and an utter quiet<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184">{184}</a></span> and stillness took the place of the former
-commotion. Why? Simply because he found Lady Mary and Mr. Tottenham
-awaiting him calmly, without a vestige of any other <i>convive</i>, except a
-boy of twelve and a girl two years younger, who came up to him with a
-pretty demure frankness and put out their hands in welcome.</p>
-
-<p>“My boy and my girl,” said Mr. Tottenham; “and Molly, as your mother is
-going in with Mr. Earnshaw, you must try to look very grown up for the
-nonce, and take my arm and walk with me.”</p>
-
-<p>“And poor Phil must come alone!” said the little girl with mingled
-regret and triumph. No, it was very clear to Edgar that he himself was
-not only a fool of the first water, but a presumptuous ass, a coxcomb
-fool, everything that was worst and vainest. And yet it had not been his
-doing; it was not he who had originated these foolish thoughts, which
-had assailed, and swarmed, and buzzed about him like a crowd of gnats or
-wasps&mdash;wasps was the better word; for there was spitefulness in the way
-they had persisted and held their own; but now, thank heaven, they were
-done with! He came to himself with a little shudder, and gave Lady Mary
-his arm, and walked through the ordinary passage of an ordinary house,
-into a room which was a handsome dining-room, but not a mystic hall; and
-then they all sat down at table, the two children opposite to him, in
-the most prosaic and ordinary way.</p>
-
-<p>“You think it wrong to have the children, Mr. Earnshaw?” said Lady Mary,
-“and so do I&mdash;though<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185">{185}</a></span> I like it. It is only when we are alone, and it is
-all their father’s doing. I tell him it will spoil their digestion and
-their manners&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“If it spoils Molly’s manners to associate with her mother the more’s
-the pity,” said Mr. Tottenham, “we shall try the experiment anyhow. What
-we call the lower classes don’t treat their children as we do; they
-accept the responsibility and go in for the disagreeables; therefore,
-though we hate having those brats here, we go in for them on principle.
-Earnshaw, have you considered the matter of education? Have you any
-ideas on the subject? Not like your friend Lord Newmarch, who has the
-correct ideas on everything, cut and dry, delivered by the last post. I
-don’t want that. Have you any notions of your own?”</p>
-
-<p>“About education?” said Edgar, “I don’t think it. I fear I have few
-ideas on any abstract subject. The chances are that I will easily agree
-with you whatever may be your opinions; heaven has preserved me from
-having any of my own.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you will just suit each other,” said Lady Mary, “which he and
-I&mdash;forgive me for letting you into our domestic miseries, Mr.
-Earnshaw&mdash;don’t do at all, on this point; for we have both ideas, and
-flourish them about us unmercifully. How happy he will be as long as he
-can have you to listen to him! not that I believe you will be half as
-good as your word.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ideas are the salt of life,” said Mr. Tottenham; “that of course is
-what has made you look so languid for some time past.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186">{186}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar looked up in surprise. “Have I been looking languid? Have you been
-observing me?” he cried. “This is after all a fairy palace where I have
-been brought blindfolded, and where every action of my life is known.”</p>
-
-<p>Upon this, Mr. Philip Tottenham, aged twelve, pricked up his ears. “Were
-you brought here blindfolded?” he said. “What fun! like the Arabian
-Nights. I wish somebody would take me like that into a fairy palace,
-where there would be a beautiful lady&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Phil, you are talking nonsense,” said his mother.</p>
-
-<p>“Where the dinner would come when you clapped your hands, and sherbets
-and ices and black servants, who would cross their arms on their breasts
-and nod their heads like images&mdash;It was he began it,” cried Philip,
-breathless, getting it all out in a burst before anyone could interpose.</p>
-
-<p>“You see how these poor children are spoilt,” said Lady Mary; “yes, he
-has been observing you, Mr. Earnshaw. I sent him into town three days in
-succession, on purpose.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have looked as languid as a young lady after the season,” said Mr.
-Tottenham calmly, “till I saw there was nothing for you but the country,
-and a sharp diet of talks and schemes, and the ideas you scorn. When a
-man is happy and prosperous, it is all very well for him to do nothing;
-but if you happen to be on the wrong side of the hill, my dear fellow,
-you can’t afford to keep quiet. You must move on, as Policeman X would
-say; or your<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187">{187}</a></span> friends must keep you moving on. To-morrow is Sunday,
-unfortunately, when we shall be obliged to keep moderately quiet&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it wrong to talk on Sunday?” said the little girl, appealing gravely
-to Edgar, whom for some time she had been gazing at.</p>
-
-<p>“Not that I know of,” Edgar replied with a smile; but as he looked from
-one to the other of the parent pair, he said to himself that there was
-no telling what theory upon this subject these excellent people might
-have. They might be desperate Sabbatarians for anything he could tell.</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you ask Mr. Earnshaw, Molly?” said Lady Mary.</p>
-
-<p>“Because,” said Molly, “I saw his picture once. I knew him whenever I
-saw him, and when I asked who it was, they said it was a very good man.
-So I knew it must be quite right to ask him. Papa talks more on Sunday
-than on other days, though he always talks a great deal; and yet just
-now he said because it is Sunday we must be quiet. Then I said to
-myself, why must we be quiet on Sunday? is it wrong?”</p>
-
-<p>“This child is too logical for our peace of mind,” said Mr. Tottenham;
-“if it were Phil it would not matter so much, for school would soon
-drive that out of him.”</p>
-
-<p>“But he is not going to school,” said Lady Mary quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“Not yet, perhaps&mdash;but some time or other, I hope; a boy has not half
-lived who has not been to school. I suppose politics are your strong
-point,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188">{188}</a></span> Earnshaw? Foreign politics, to judge from what I heard Newmarch
-saying. That fellow wants to pick your brains. I should not think it a
-subject that would pay, unless you made it your <i>cheval de bataille</i>,
-like Gordon Grant, who knows everything that happens abroad better than
-the people themselves do&mdash;who never, he tells us, see half what is going
-on.”</p>
-
-<p>“Quite true,” said Lady Mary, “they never do; one doesn’t in one’s own
-experience. One finds out all the little incidents afterwards, and
-pieces them into their places.”</p>
-
-<p>“Only it is Earnshaw who is to find out the little incidents, and
-Newmarch who is to piece them into their places,” said her husband;
-“hard work for the one, great fun, and great glory besides, for the
-other. I don’t think I should care to be jackal to Newmarch; especially
-as he means all this to be done, not by a Secretary of Legation, but by
-a Queen’s Messenger. Do you know what kind of life that is?”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar shook his head. He knew nothing about it, and at this moment he
-did not care very much. The buzzing and persecution of those thoughts
-which were none of his, which had a separate existence of their own, and
-tortured him for admission into his mind, had recommenced. What had he
-been brought here for? Why did they attempt to disgust him with the only
-career open before him? What did they intend to do with him? The father
-and his boy might be ordinary beings enough, with whom he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189">{189}</a></span> could have
-kept up an ordinary intercourse; but Lady Mary and her little daughter
-had the strangest effect upon the young man. One of them was full grown,
-motherly, on the border of middle age&mdash;the other was but a child; yet
-the tone of their voices, the turn of their heads, all suggested to him
-some one else who was not there. Even little Molly had the family
-gestures, the throwing back of the light locks, the sweet brightness of
-the eyes, which were so playful and soft, yet so full of vivacious
-spirit and life. Poor Edgar was kept in a kind of confused rapture
-between the mother and the child; both of them reflected another face,
-and echoed another voice to him; between them they seemed to be stealing
-all the strength out of him, the very heart from his bosom. He had been
-absent three years and had it all come to this, that the soft strain of
-enchantment which had charmed him so softly, so lightly, never to any
-height of passion, had grown stronger with time, and moved him now more
-deeply than at first? These persecuting thoughts made a swoop upon him
-like a flight of birds, sweeping down through the air and surrounding
-him, as he sat there helpless. Why had he been brought to this
-magician’s palace? What did they mean to do with him now? The child had
-seen his portrait, the father had been sent to watch him, the mother
-asked had anything been said. What was about to be said? What were they
-going to do with him? Poor Edgar looked out as from a mist, gradually
-overwhelmed by his own excitement, and finally left the doors of his
-helpless heart open, as it were,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190">{190}</a></span> making it a highway through which any
-kind of futile supposition might flit and dance. He sat helpless,
-excited and wondering. What were they going to do with him? He did not
-know.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191">{191}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV.<br /><br />
-<small>Reality.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The</span> frost hardened again in the night, and Tottenham’s was all white and
-shining when Edgar looked out from his window in the morning. The house
-was square and somewhat ugly, but the great semi-circle of trees which
-swept round it was made into something magical by the feathery silvering
-of the rime which coated every branch and every twig. He made an
-exclamation of pleasure when he looked out. The grass, the trees, the
-glistening pinnacles of the great conservatory which stretched to the
-south, just catching a glimpse of frosty and wavering sunlight upon
-their metallic tops, were all virgin white, though here and there it
-began to melt in the sun. Edgar had been far from thinking himself happy
-when he fell asleep on the previous night; he was still confused and
-harassed by his thoughts, keeping up a hopeless struggle against them;
-but he woke up in a state of causeless exhilaration, he did not know
-why. The hoar frost and the red sunshine went to his head. His heart
-beat more lightly than usual, the blood coursed pleasantly through his
-veins. He was like most imaginative people, often glad, and sorry he did
-not know why, and a certain unreasonable capricious confidence in his
-fate came<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192">{192}</a></span> over him to-day. Something good was coming to him he felt
-sure.</p>
-
-<p>The breakfast table at Tottenham’s was lively enough. Lady Mary and her
-husband were in full and animated discussion about something or other,
-with a shoal of opened letters lying before them, and all the newspapers
-that could be had, when Edgar made his appearance somewhat late. The
-children who were present on the previous night were flanked by another
-small pair, too small to be restrained by mamma, who chattered and
-crowed, and made themselves very happy. A bright fire was burning, and
-the red sunshine shone in, glinting over the white covered table and its
-shining dishes.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw will agree with me,” Lady Mary cried as he went in,
-appealing to him.</p>
-
-<p>“Come along, Earnshaw, you will take my side,” said Mr. Tottenham.</p>
-
-<p>They were both eager to claim his help, and the elder children looked up
-at him with the freedom of perfect ease and intimacy.</p>
-
-<p>“Nobody can ever call Molly the late one, now Mr. Earnshaw is here,”
-cried Phil exulting. They all received him as one of themselves, and in
-everything they said there was a silent suggestion that he belonged to
-them, that he was to remain with them, which bewildered him beyond
-words. The letters on the table were about every subject under heaven.
-They had their domestic correspondence, I suppose, and family affairs of
-their own; but these epistles were all about “schemes” of one kind and
-another,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193">{193}</a></span> plans for the reformation of heaven knows how many classes of
-society, and for the improvement of the world altogether, which indeed
-has great need of improvement. I cannot tell what the special question
-might be that morning; there were so many of them that it was difficult
-for a stranger to discriminate; and as Lady Mary had told him, she and
-her husband very seldom agreed. They were both intensely in earnest, and
-both threw themselves with all their might into everything they did.
-Edgar, however, was not in a mood to utter any oracles, or to associate
-himself with one scheme or another. He was disposed to enjoy the strange
-holiday which had come to him, he could not tell how. He left the father
-and mother to themselves, and addressed himself to the children.</p>
-
-<p>“Phil,” he said, “you and I are ignoramuses, we don’t know about these
-deep matters. Talk to me of something within my capacity; or Molly, if
-Phil will not talk, do you.”</p>
-
-<p>The reply to this was that both children talked together.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw, the ice is bearing; what an awful pity it’s Sunday!” said
-the boy, “I wanted to tell you whenever you came in&mdash;” and “Oh, Mr.
-Earnshaw, come to church with us, and I’ll show you the village and my
-pet old woman who tells us stories,” said the little girl.</p>
-
-<p>Edgar was delighted. He asked about the ice, what it was, an ornamental
-piece of water, or the village pond; and told Molly he would go and see
-her village, and try whether he or she could re<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194">{194}</a></span>member most of the
-sermon. Phil interfered when he heard this bargain. He shook his head
-over the rashness of his new friend.</p>
-
-<p>“She has an awful good memory,” he said, “I wouldn’t try against her,
-Mr. Earnshaw, if I was you. She remembers what people said ages and ages
-ago, and comes down upon you after you have forgotten all about it. I
-wouldn’t go in against Moll.”</p>
-
-<p>“But I haven’t such an awfully good memory for sermons,” said Molly,
-with modest deprecation of the excessive praise, “though I do remember
-most things pretty well.”</p>
-
-<p>“Molly will win of course; but I shall try my best,” said Edgar. The
-children suited him best on this day of exhilaration when his heart was
-so foolishly free. He caught the father and mother looking at him, with
-significant glances to each other, while this conversation was going on,
-and was bewildered to think what they could mean. What did they mean? It
-was altogether bewildering and perplexing. The man who attended him that
-morning had informed him that he had been told off for his especial
-service, and had looked somewhat offended when Edgar laughed and
-declared he required no particular tending. “I ’ad my horders, Sir,”
-said the man. Everybody seemed to have their orders; and if that curious
-insanity of thought which had assailed him yesterday, a running riot of
-imagination, for which he did not feel himself to be responsible&mdash;if
-that came back again,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195">{195}</a></span> tearing open the doors of his heart, and pouring
-through them, was it his fault?</p>
-
-<p>The village lay at the park gates; but villages so near London are not
-like villages in the depths of the country. This was one where there was
-a number of smaller gentlefolks, tributaries on all great occasions of
-Tottenham’s; but when they had a chance, very glad to note any
-deficiency on the part of the man whom they called a <i>nouveau riche</i>,
-and even a shopkeeper, which was the title of deepest reproach they
-could think of. Indeed if Mr. Tottenham had not married Lady Mary, I
-believe he would have had many little pricks and stings from his poor
-yet well-born neighbours; but a Lady Mary in English village society
-cannot do wrong. It was a pleasant walk to church, where they all went
-together, the children walking demurely in honour of Sunday, though
-Phil’s eye and heart were tempted by the long expanse of white which
-showed between two lines of green at the right side of the road.</p>
-
-<p>“It is hard enough to bear the big town carriage,” he said
-confidentially to Edgar, “or one of the farmer’s huge carts.”</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll go and see it after church,” said Edgar in the same tone; and so
-the little procession moved on. Perhaps Lady Mary was the one who cared
-for this family progress to church the least. Mr. Tottenham, though he
-was given over to schemes of the most philosophical description, was the
-simplest soul alive, doing his duty in this respect with as light a
-heart as his children. But Lady Mary was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196">{196}</a></span> very “viewy.” She was an
-advanced liberal, and read the “Fortnightly,” and smiled at many things
-that were said out of the pulpit once a week. Sometimes even she would
-laugh a little at the “duty” of going to church, and hearing old Mr.
-Burton maunder for half an hour; but all the same she respected her
-husband’s prejudices, and the traditions of the superior class, which,
-even when it believes in natural equality, still feels it necessary to
-set an example to its neighbours. Lady Mary professed sentiments which
-were inclined towards republicanism and democracy; but nevertheless she
-knew that she was one of the gods, and had to conduct herself as became
-that regnant position among men.</p>
-
-<p>“There goes the shopkeeper and his family,” said Mrs. Colonel
-Witherington from her window, which looked out on the village green.
-“Girls, it is time to put on your bonnets. A man like that is bred up to
-be punctual; he comes to church as he goes to the shop, as the hour
-strikes. There he goes&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“As ostentatiously humble as ever,” said one of the girls.</p>
-
-<p>“And he has got one of the shopmen with him, mamma,” said Myra, who was
-the wit of the family. “Not a bad looking draper’s assistant; they
-always have the shopmen out on Sundays. Poor fellows, it is their only
-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor fellows, indeed! I suppose Lady Mary thinks because she is an
-earl’s daughter she can do whatever she likes; introducing such people
-as these into the society of gentle-folks,” cried the mother.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197">{197}</a></span> “Myra,
-don’t stand laughing there, but put on your things.”</p>
-
-<p>“We need not go into their society unless we please,” said Myra.</p>
-
-<p>“And to be sure an Earl’s daughter <i>can</i> do whatever she likes; no
-nonsense of that description will make <i>her</i> lose caste,” said the
-eldest Miss Witherington, turning away from the window with a sigh. This
-poor young lady, not being an Earl’s daughter, had not been able to do
-as she liked, or to marry as she liked, and she felt the difference far
-more keenly than her mother did, who was affected only in theory. This
-was one of the many scraps of neighbourly talk which went on at Harbour
-Green when the party from Tottenham’s were seen walking through the
-village to church. Lady Mary was an Earl’s daughter, and she <i>did</i> take
-it upon her to do precisely as she liked; but her neighbours directed
-most of their indignation upon her husband who had no such privileges, a
-man who was civil to everybody, and whom they all confessed, whenever
-they wanted anything of him, to be the best-natured fellow in the world.</p>
-
-<p>The service in the little church was not so well-conducted as it might
-have been, had Lady Mary taken more interest in it; but still the lesser
-authorities had done something for the training of the choir, and a
-gentle Ritualism, not too pronounced as yet, kept everything in a
-certain good order. Lady Mary herself did not take the same honest and
-simple part in the devotions as her husband and children did; various
-parts of the service went<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198">{198}</a></span> against her views; she smiled a little as she
-listened to the sermon. A close observer might have noticed that, though
-she behaved with the most perfect decorum, as a great lady ought, she
-yet felt herself somewhat superior to all that was going on. I cannot
-say that Edgar noticed this on his first Sunday at Harbour Green, though
-he may have remarked it afterwards; but Edgar’s mind was not at the
-present moment sufficiently free to remark upon individual peculiarity.
-The sense of novelty or something else more exciting still worked in
-him, and left him in a state of vague agitation; and when the service
-being over, Lady Mary hurried on with the children, on pretence of
-calling on some one, and left Mr. Tottenham with Edgar, the young man
-felt his heart beat higher, and knew that the moment at last had come.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, Earnshaw! you have not had much time to judge, it is true; but
-how do you think you like us?” said Mr. Tottenham. The question was odd,
-but the questioner’s face was as grave as that of a judge. “We are hasty
-people, and you are hasty,” he added, “so it is not so absurd as it
-might be; how do you think you shall like us? Now speak out, never mind
-our feelings. I am not asking you sentimentally, but from a purely
-business point of view.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am so hasty a man,” said Edgar, laughing, with a much stronger sense
-of the comic character of the position than the other had, “that I made
-up my mind at sight, as one generally does; but since then you have so
-bribed me by kindness<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199">{199}</a></span>&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you do like us!” said Mr. Tottenham, holding out his hand, “I
-thought you would. Of course if you had not liked us our whole scheme
-would have come to nothing, and Mary had rather set her heart on it. You
-will be sure not to take offence, or to think us impertinent if I tell
-you what we thought?”</p>
-
-<p>“One word,” said Edgar with nervous haste. “Tell me first what it has
-been that has made you take such a warm interest in me?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham winced and twisted his slim long person as a man in an
-embarrassing position is apt to do. “Well,” he said, “Earnshaw, I don’t
-know that we can enter into it so closely as that. We have always taken
-an interest in you, since the time when you were a great friend of the
-Thornleigh’s and we were always hearing of you; and when you behaved so
-well in that bad business. And then some months ago we heard that you
-had been seen coming up from Scotland&mdash;travelling,” Mr. Tottenham added,
-with hesitation, “in the cheap way.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who told you that?” Edgar’s curiosity gave a sharpness which he had not
-intended to his voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Come, come,” said Mr. Tottenham good-humouredly; “that is just the
-point which I cannot enter into. But you may permit us to be interested,
-though we can’t describe in full detail how it came about. Earnshaw,
-Mary and I are fanciful sort of people, as you perceive; we don’t always
-keep to the beaten path; and we want you to do us a favour. What I am
-going to ask may be a little<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200">{200}</a></span> irregular; it may sound a little
-obtrusive; you may take it amiss; though I hope not&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall not take it amiss in any case,” Edgar managed to say; but his
-heart was beating very loudly, and an agitation for which he could not
-account had got possession of his whole being. His mind went wildly over
-a whole world of conjecture, and I need not add that he was utterly
-astray in everything he thought of, and did not reach to the faintest
-notion of what his companion meant to be at.</p>
-
-<p>“In the first place,” said Mr. Tottenham nervously, “it is evident that
-you must wait till there is an opening in that business with Newmarch. I
-don’t doubt in the least that he wants to have you, and that he’ll give
-you the first vacancy; but he can’t kill off a man on purpose, though I
-dare say he would if he could. I don’t go on to say in the second place,
-as I might perhaps, that a Queen’s Messenger has a very wearisome life,
-and not much to make amends for it&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here he paused to take breath, while Edgar watched and wondered, getting
-more and more bewildered every moment in the maze of conjecture through
-which he could not find his way.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course,” said Mr. Tottenham, himself displaying a certain amount of
-rising excitement, “I don’t mean to say that you ought not to accept
-such an appointment if it was offered. But in the meantime, what are you
-to do? Live in London, and waste your resources, and break your spirit
-with continual waiting? I say no, no, by no means; and this is what put
-it into my head to say what I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201">{201}</a></span> am going to say to you, and to insist
-upon your coming here.”</p>
-
-<p>What was he going to say? Still Edgar, subdued by his own excitement,
-could make no reply. Mr. Tottenham paused also, as if half fearing to
-take the plunge.</p>
-
-<p>“What we meant, Earnshaw,” he said abruptly, at last, “what Mary and I
-want, if you will do it, is&mdash;that you should stay with us and take
-charge of our boy.”</p>
-
-<p>The last words he uttered hastily, and almost sharply, as if throwing
-something out that burned him while he held it. And oh! dear reader, how
-can I express to you the way in which poor Edgar fell, fell, low down,
-and lower down, as into some echoing depth, when these words fell upon
-his dismayed and astonished ears! Take charge of their boy! God help
-him! what had he been thinking about? He could not himself tell;
-nothing, a chimera, the foolishest of dreams, some wild fancy which
-involved the future in a vain haze of brightness with the image of the
-veiled maiden in the railway carriage, and of Gussy, who was never
-veiled. Oh, Heaven and earth! what a fool, what a fool he was! She had
-nothing to do with it; he himself had nothing to do with it. It was but
-a benevolent scheme of people with a great many benevolent schemes about
-them, for the relief of a poor young fellow whom they knew to be in
-trouble. That was all. Edgar went on walking as in a dream, feeling
-himself spin round and round and go down, as to the bottom of some well.
-He could hear that Mr. Tottenham went on speaking, and the hum of his
-voice made,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202">{202}</a></span> as it were, a running accompaniment to his own hubbub of
-inarticulate thoughts; Edgar heard it, yet heard it not. When he woke up
-from this confusion, it was quite suddenly, by reason of a pause in the
-accompanying voice. The last words his bewildered intelligence caught up
-were these:</p>
-
-<p>“You will think it over, and tell me your decision later. You will
-understand that we both beg you to forgive us, if we have said or done
-anything which is disagreeable to you, Earnshaw. You promise me to
-remember that?”</p>
-
-<p>“Disagreeable!” Edgar murmured half consciously. “Why should it be
-disagreeable?” but even his own voice seemed to be changed in his own
-ear as he said it. He was all changed, and everything about him. “I must
-go across to the pond before I go in,” he added, somewhat abruptly. “I
-promised Philip to look at the ice;” and with scarcely any further
-excuse, set off across the grass, from which the whiteness and crispness
-of the morning frosts had been stolen away by the sun. He could not get
-free of the physical sensation of having fallen. He seemed to himself to
-be bruised and shaken; he could do nothing with his mind but realize and
-identify his state; he could not discuss it with himself. It did not
-seem to him even that he knew what he had been thinking of, what he had
-been hoping; he knew only that he had fallen from some strange height,
-and lay at the bottom somewhere, aching and broken in heart and
-strength, stunned by the fall, and so confused that he did not know what
-had happened to him,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203">{203}</a></span> or what he must do next. In this state of mind he
-walked mechanically across the grass, and gazed at the frozen pond,
-without knowing what he was doing, and then strode mechanically away
-from it, and went home. (How soon we begin to call any kind of a place
-home, when we have occasion to use it as such!). He went home, back to
-his room, the room which surely, he thought to himself, was too good for
-Mr. Tottenham’s tutor, which was the post he had been asked to occupy.
-Mr. Tottenham’s boy’s tutor, that was the phrase.</p>
-
-<p>It was his own repetition of these words which roused him a little; the
-tutor in the house; the handy man who was made to do everything; the one
-individual among the gentlemen of the house whom it was possible to
-order about; who was an equal, and yet no equal. No, Edgar said to
-himself, with a generous swelling of his heart, it was not thus that a
-dependent would be treated in Mr. Tottenham’s house; but the very idea
-of being a dependent struck him with such sharp poignancy of surprise,
-as well as pain, that he could not calm himself down, or make the best
-of it. He had never tasted what this was like yet. When he had made his
-application to Lord Newmarch, the experience had not been a pleasant
-one; but it was short at least, and the position he had hoped for had
-been independent at least. In it, he would have been no man’s servant,
-but the Queen’s, whom all men delight to serve. Mr. Tottenham’s tutor
-was a very different thing.</p>
-
-<p>He sat at his window, and heard without know<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204">{204}</a></span>ing the great luncheon-bell
-peal out through all the echoes. He felt that he could not go downstairs
-to confront them all, while still in the confusion and stupor of his
-downfall; for he had sustained a downfall more terrible than anyone
-knew, more bewildering than he could even realize himself; from vague,
-strange, delicious suspicions of something coming which might change all
-his life, down to a sickening certainty of something come, which would
-indeed change everything in every way, in the estimation of the world
-and of himself.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham walked home very seriously on his side, after this
-interview. He had some sort of comprehension that the proposal he had
-just made was one which, at the first hearing, would not delight his new
-friend; and he was sufficiently friendly and large-minded to permit the
-young man a little moment of ruffled pride, a little misery, even a
-little offence, before he could make up his mind to it, notwithstanding
-that it was, on the part of the Tottenhams, an impulse of almost pure
-and unmixed charity and kindness which had suggested it. They were
-impulsive people both, and fond of making themselves the Providence of
-poorer people; and the very best thing that can be said of them, better
-even than their universal and crotchety willingness to serve everybody
-who came in their way, was their composure when the intended recipients
-of their bounty hesitated, or, as sometimes happened, kicked at it
-altogether. Their kindnesses, their bounties, their crotchets, and their
-theories were all mixed up together, and might occasionally be less
-good, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205">{205}</a></span> do less good than they were meant to do; but the toleration
-which permitted a prospective <i>protégé</i> to weigh the benefit offered,
-without any angry consciousness of his want of gratitude, was admirable,
-and much more unusual in this world than even the kindness itself. Mr.
-Tottenham hurried off to his wife, and told her all about it; and the
-two together waited for Edgar’s decision with sympathetic excitement,
-almost as much disturbed in their minds as he was, and with no indignant
-feeling that their good intentions were having scanty justice. On the
-contrary, they discussed the matter as they might have done something in
-which their <i>amour propre</i> was not at all engaged.</p>
-
-<p>“I hope he will see it is the best thing for him,” said Mr. Tottenham.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course it is the best thing for him, and he must see it,” said the
-more impetuous Lady Mary; but neither one nor the other declared that he
-would be a fool or ungrateful if he neglected this opening, as so many
-intending benefactors would. They discussed it all the afternoon, taking
-their Sunday stroll together through the greenhouses, which were
-splendid, and talking of nothing but Edgar.</p>
-
-<p>“He must do it; we must insist upon it, Tom,” Lady Mary cried, growing
-more and more eager.</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot make him, dear, if he don’t see it,” said the husband, shaking
-his head.</p>
-
-<p>Thus both upstairs and downstairs there was but one subject of
-consideration. The ugly things about dependence, about domestic slavery,
-about<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206">{206}</a></span> the equal who would not be an equal, which Edgar was saying to
-himself, found no echo in the talk of the good people, full of wealth
-and power to benefit others, who puckered their brows on the subject
-downstairs. In this respect the thoughts of the poor man whom they
-wanted to befriend, were much less generous than theirs who wanted to
-befriend him. He judged them harshly, and they judged him kindly. He
-attributed intentions and motives to them which they were guiltless of,
-and thought of himself as degraded in their eyes by the kindness they
-had offered; while, in fact, he had become a most important person to
-them, solely on that account&mdash;a person occupying a superior position,
-with power to decide against or for them, to honour or discredit their
-judgment. Indeed, I am bound to allow that Edgar was not generous at all
-at this moment of his career, and that his hosts were. But ah me! it is
-so much easier to be generous, to be tolerant, to think the best, when
-you are rich and can confer favours; so difficult to keep up your
-optimist views, and to see the best side of everything, when you are
-poor!</p>
-
-<p>“He will either come down and tell us that he accepts, or he will pack
-his things and go off to-night,” said Lady Mary as they waited. They
-were seated in the conservatory, in the centre circle under the
-glittering glass dome, which had been built to give room for the great
-feathery branches of a palm tree. This was the favourite spot in which
-all the pretty luxury of these conservatories culminated. Some
-bright-coloured Persian rugs were laid on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207">{207}</a></span> floor, here and there,
-upon which were some half-dozen chairs, half rustic and wholly
-luxurious. All the flowers that art can extract or force from nature in
-the depth of Winter were grouped about, great moon-discs of white
-camellias, heaths covered with fairy bells, spotless primulas rising
-from out the rough velvet of their leaves. The atmosphere was soft as a
-moderate gentle Summer, and the great palm leaves stirred now and then
-against the high dome of glass. Mr. Tottenham lounged on a rustic sofa,
-with a cloud of anxiety on his face, and Lady Mary, too anxious to
-lounge, sat bolt upright and listened. Why were those good people
-anxious? I cannot tell; they wanted, I suppose, to succeed in this good
-action which they had set their hearts on doing; they did not want to be
-foiled; and they had set their hearts upon delivering Edgar from his
-difficulties, and making him comfortable. Along with their other
-sentiments there was mixed a certain generous fear lest they should have
-been precipitate, lest they should have hurt the feelings and wounded
-the pride of their friend whom they wished to serve. I wish there were
-more of such people, and more of such susceptibilities in the world.</p>
-
-<p>They sat thus, until the twilight grew so deep and shadowy that they
-could scarcely see each other. It was very cold outside, where
-everything began again to congeal and whiten, and all the world resigned
-itself with a groan to the long, long interval of dead darkness,
-hopelessness, and cold which must deepen before day. At the end of a
-vista of shrubs and great evergreen plants, the red<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208">{208}</a></span> glow of the
-drawing-room fire shone out, shining there like a ruddy star in the
-distance. Lady Mary drew her shawl round her with a little shiver, and
-her husband got up and yawned in the weariness of suspense. Had he gone
-away without giving an answer? Had they done nothing but harm, though
-they had wished so much to do good. They both started like a couple of
-guilty conspirators when at length a step was heard approaching, and
-Edgar appeared, half hesitating, half eager, against the glow of the
-distant fire.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209">{209}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI.<br /><br />
-<small>A Pair of Philanthropists.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">I need</span> not describe the many struggles of feeling which Edgar went
-through on that memorable Sunday, before he finally made up his mind to
-accept Mr. Tottenham’s proposal, and do the only thing which remained
-possible for him, his only alternative between work of some sort and
-idleness&mdash;between spending his last little remnant of money and
-beginning to earn some more&mdash;a thing which he had never yet done in his
-life. It was very strange to the young man, after so long an interval of
-a very different life, to return vicariously, as it were, not in his own
-right, to the habits and surroundings of luxury. He felt a whimsical
-inclination at first to explain to everybody he encountered that he was,
-so to speak, an impostor, having no right to all the good things about
-him, but being only Mr. Tottenham’s upper servant, existing in the
-atmosphere of the drawing-room only on sufferance and by courtesy.
-People in such circumstances are generally, I believe, very differently
-affected, or so at least one reads in story. They are generally pictured
-as standing perpetually on the defensive, looking out for offence,
-anticipating injury, and in a sore state of compulsory humility or
-rather hu<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210">{210}</a></span>miliation. I do not know whether Edgar’s humorous character
-could ever have been driven by ill-usage to feel in this way, but as he
-had no ill-usage to put up with, but much the reverse, he took a totally
-different view. After the first conflict with himself was over, which we
-have already indicated, he came to consider his tutorship a good joke,
-as indeed, I am sorry to say, everybody else did&mdash;even Phil, who was in
-high glee over his new instructor.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know what I am to teach him,” Edgar had said to the boy’s
-parents when he came down to the conservatory on the memorable Sunday I
-have already described, and joined the anxious pair.</p>
-
-<p>“Teach him whatever you know,” Lady Mary had answered; but Edgar’s half
-mirthful, half dismayed sense of unfitness for the post they thrust upon
-him was not much altered by this impulsive speech.</p>
-
-<p>“What do I know?” he said to himself next morning when, coming down
-early before any one else, he found himself alone in the library, with
-all the materials for instruction round him. Edgar had not himself been
-educated in England, and he did not know whether such knowledge as he
-possessed might not suffer from being transmitted in an unusual way
-without the orthodox form. “My Latin and Greek may be good enough,
-though I doubt it,” he said, when Mr. Tottenham joined him, “but how if
-they are found to be quite out of the Eton shape, and therefore no good
-to Phil?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211">{211}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind the Eton shape, or any other shape,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-“you heard what Mary said, and her opinion may be relied upon. Teach him
-what you know. Why, he is only twelve, he has time enough for mere
-shape, I hope.”</p>
-
-<p>And thus Edgar was again silenced. He was, however, a tolerably good
-scholar, and as it happened, in pure idleness had lately betaken himself
-again to those classical studies which so many men lay aside with their
-youth. And in the library at Tottenham’s there was a crowd of books
-bearing upon all possible theories of education, which Edgar, with a
-private smile at himself, carried to his room with him in detachments,
-and pored over with great impartiality, reading the most opposite
-systems one after another. When he told Lady Mary about his studies, she
-afforded immediate advice and information. She knew a great deal more
-about them than he did. She had tried various systems, each antagonistic
-to the other, in her own pet schools in the village, and she was far
-from having made up her mind on the subject.</p>
-
-<p>“I confess to you frankly, Mr. Earnshaw,” said Lady Mary, “sometimes I
-think we have nothing in the world to trust to but education, which is
-the rational view; and sometimes I feel that I put no faith in it at
-all.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is something like my own opinion,” said Earnshaw, “though I have
-permitted you to do yourselves the injustice of appointing me tutor to
-Phil.”</p>
-
-<p>“Education, like everything else, depends so<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212">{212}</a></span> much on one’s theory of
-life,” said Lady Mary, “Mr. Tottenham and I think differently on the
-subject, which is a great pity, though I don’t see that it does us much
-harm. My husband is content to take things as they are, which is by much
-the more comfortable way; but that too is a matter of temperament. Phil
-will be sure to get on if you will bring him into real correspondence
-with your own mind. Molly gives me a great deal more trouble; a man can
-get himself educated one way or another, a woman can’t.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it so?” said Edgar, “pardon my ignorance. I thought most ladies were
-terribly well educated.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I know what you mean!” said Lady Mary, “educated in nothings,
-taught to display all their little bits of superficial information. It
-is not only that women get no education, Mr. Earnshaw, but how are we to
-get it for them? Of course an effort may be made for a girl in Molly’s
-position, with parents who fully appreciate the difficulties of the
-matter; but for girls of the middle classes for instance? they get a
-little very bad music, and worse French, and this is considered
-education. I dare say you will help me by and by in one of my pet
-schemes. Some of my friends in town have been so very good as to join me
-in a little effort I am making to raise the standard. The rector here, a
-well-meaning sort of man, has been persuaded to join, and to give us a
-nicish sort of schoolroom which happens to be unoccupied, and his
-countenance, which does us good with old fashioned people. I have spent
-a good deal of time on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213">{213}</a></span> scheme myself, and it is one of my chief
-interests. I quite reckon upon you to help.”</p>
-
-<p>“What must I do?” said Edgar with a plaintive tone in his voice. Alas,
-worse had happened to him than falling into the hands of thieves who
-could only rob him&mdash;no more. He had fallen into the hands of good
-Samaritans who could do a great deal worse. He thought of ragged-schools
-and unruly infants; his thoughts went no further, and to this he
-resigned himself with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“Then you will really help?” cried Lady Mary delighted, “I knew from the
-first you would be the greatest acquisition to us. My plan is to have
-lectures, Mr. Earnshaw, upon various subjects; they last only during the
-winter, and a great number of girls have begun to attend. One of my
-friends takes Latin, another French. Alas, our German lecturer has just
-failed us! if you could supply his place it would be perfect. Then we
-have history, mathematics, and literature; we cannot do much of course,
-but even a little is better than nothing. It would not take up very much
-of your time; an hour and a half a week, with perhaps a moment now and
-then to look after exercises, &amp;c.”</p>
-
-<p>“Am I expected to teach German to anybody in an hour and a half a week?”
-said Edgar, laughing. “It is a small expenditure for so great a result.”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course you think it can only be a smattering&mdash;and that a smattering
-is a bad thing?” said the social reformer, “but we really do produce
-very good results&mdash;you shall see if you will but try.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214">{214}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“And what branch, may I ask, do you take?” said the ignorant neophyte.</p>
-
-<p>“<i>I</i>, Mr. Earnshaw! why I learn!” cried Lady Mary; “if I could I would
-go in for all the studies, but that is impossible. I follow as many as I
-can, and find it an admirable discipline for the mind, just that
-discipline which is denied to women. Why do you look at me so strangely?
-Why do you laugh? I assure you I mean what I say.”</p>
-
-<p>“If I must not laugh, pray teach me some more philosophical way of
-expressing my feelings,” said Edgar, “I fear I should laugh still more
-if you did me the honour to select me as one of your instructors. A year
-hence when I have been well trained by Phil, I may have a little more
-confidence in myself.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you mean,” said Lady Mary, somewhat offended, “that instructing
-others is the best way to confirm your own knowledge, I am sure you are
-quite right; but if you mean to laugh at my scheme&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Pray pardon me,” said Edgar, “I can’t help it. The idea of teaching you
-is too much for my gravity. Tell me who the other learned pundits are
-from whom Lady Mary Tottenham learns&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Lady Mary Tottenham would learn from any man who had anything to teach
-her,” she answered with momentary anger; then added with a short laugh,
-extorted from her against her will, “Mr. Earnshaw, you are very
-impertinent and unkind; why should you laugh at one’s endeavour to help
-on<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215">{215}</a></span>e’s fellow-creatures to a little instruction, and one’s self&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Are you quarrelling?” said Mr. Tottenham, stalking in suddenly, with
-his glass in his eye. “What is the matter? Earnshaw, I want to interest
-you in a very pet scheme of mine. When my wife has done with you, let me
-have a hearing. I want him to drive in with me to Tottenham’s, Mary, and
-see what is doing there.”</p>
-
-<p>“I hope Mr. Earnshaw will be kinder to you than he has been to me,” said
-Lady Mary; “at me he does nothing but laugh. He despises women, I
-suppose, like so many other men, and thinks us beneath the range of
-intellectual beings.”</p>
-
-<p>“What a cruel judgment,” said Edgar, “because I am tickled beyond
-measure at the thought of having anything to teach you, and at the
-suggestion that you can improve your mind by attending lectures, and are
-undergoing mental discipline by means of mathematics and history&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, then it is only that you think me too old,” said Lady Mary, with
-the not unagreeable amusement of a pretty woman who knows herself to be
-not old, and to look still younger and fresher than she feels; and they
-had an amiable laugh over this excellent joke, which entirely restored
-the friendly relations between them. Mr. Tottenham smiled reflectively
-with his glass in his eye, not looking into the matter. He was too
-seriously occupied with his own affairs to enter into any unnecessary
-merriment.</p>
-
-<p>“Come along, Earnshaw,” he said, “I want you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216">{216}</a></span> to come into Tottenham’s
-with me, and on the way I will tell you all about my scheme, which my
-wife takes a great interest in also. You will come to the next evening,
-Mary? It is always so much more successful when you are there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Surely,” said Lady Mary with a vague smile, as she gathered up a bundle
-of papers which she had produced to show Edgar. She shook her head over
-them as she turned away. Her husband’s schemes she patronized with a
-gentle interest; but her own occupied her a great deal more warmly as
-was natural. “You have not given me half the consideration my plan
-deserves,” she said half pathetically, “but don’t think I mean to let
-you off on that account,” and with a friendly smile to both the
-gentlemen she went to her own concerns. The library had been the scene
-of the conversation, and Lady Mary now withdrew to her own special
-table, which was placed in front of a great bay-window overlooking the
-flower-garden. It was a very large room, and Mr. Tottenham’s table had a
-less favourable aspect, with nothing visible but dark shrubberies from
-the window behind him, to which he judiciously turned his back.</p>
-
-<p>“Mary prefers to look out, and I to look in,” he said; “to be sure I
-have her to look at, which makes a difference.”</p>
-
-<p>This huge room was the centre of their morning occupations, and the
-scene of many an amiable controversy. The two tables which belonged to
-the pair individually were both covered with papers, that of Lady Mary
-being the most orderly, but not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217">{217}</a></span> the least crowded, while a third large
-table, in front of the fire, covered with books and newspapers, offered
-scope for any visitor who might chance to join them in their viewy and
-speculative seclusion. As a matter of fact, most people who came to
-Tottenham’s, gravitated sooner or later towards this room. It was the
-point of meeting in the morning, just as the palm-tree in the
-conservatory was the centre of interest in the afternoon.</p>
-
-<p>“I am writing to Lyons to come to my next evening,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-taking his place at his own table, while Lady Mary with her back towards
-the other occupants of the room scribbled rapidly at hers.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think they will care for Lyons?” asked Lady Mary without turning
-round, “you forget always that amusement and not information is what
-they want&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Amusement is what we all want, my dear,” said her husband, with
-apologetic mildness. “We approach the subject in different ways. You
-call in the same man to instruct as I do to amuse. We agree as to the
-man, but we don’t agree as to the object; and yet it comes to the very
-same thing at last.”</p>
-
-<p>“You think so,” said Lady Mary, still with her back turned; “but we
-shall see by the results.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, Lyons is coming,” said Mr. Tottenham. “I don’t know if you have
-heard him, Earnshaw. He has been in Africa, and all over the world. My
-own opinion is that he is rather a stupid fellow; but, so long as other
-people don’t think so, what<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218">{218}</a></span> does that matter? He is coming; and, my
-dear fellow, if you would listen to what I am going to tell you, and
-take an interest in my people&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“What would happen?” said Edgar, as the other paused. He was half amused
-and half alarmed by the turn that things were taking, and did not know
-what strange use he might be put to next.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I don’t know what might not happen,” said Mr. Tottenham, yielding
-for a moment to the influence of Edgar’s distressed but humorous
-countenance. “However, don’t be frightened. You shall not be forced to
-do anything. I don’t approve of over-persuasion. But supposing that you
-should be interested, as I expect, a great deal more than you think&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>This he said in a deprecatory, propitiatory way, looking up suddenly
-from the letter he was writing. Edgar stood in front of the fire,
-contemplating both parties, and he was half touched as well as more than
-half amused by this look. He did not even know what it was he was called
-upon to interest himself in; but the eagerness of his companions, about
-their several plans, went to his heart.</p>
-
-<p>“You may be sure, if there is anything I can do&mdash;” he said, impulsively.</p>
-
-<p>“You should not allow Mr. Earnshaw to commit himself till he has seen
-what it is,” said Lady Mary, from the opposite table; and then she, too,
-turned half round, pen in hand, and fixed an earnest gaze upon him. “I
-may write to my people and tell them the German class will be resumed
-next week?” she said, with much the same entreating look as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219">{219}</a></span> her husband
-had put on. It was all Edgar could do to preserve his gravity, and not
-reply with indecorous gaiety, like that which had provoked her before;
-for Lady Mary, on this point at least, was less tolerant and more easily
-affronted than her husband.</p>
-
-<p>“If you think I can be of any use,” he said, trying to look as serious
-as possible; and thus, before he knew, the double bargain was made.</p>
-
-<p>It would be impossible to describe in words the whimsical unreality of
-the situation in which Edgar thus found himself when he got into Mr.
-Tottenham’s phaeton to be driven back to town, in order to be made
-acquainted with the other “Tottenham’s.” Only a few days had passed
-since the wintry evening when he arrived a stranger at the hospitable
-but unknown house. He was a stranger still according to all rules, but
-yet his life had suddenly become entangled with the lives which a week
-ago he had never heard of. He was no visitor, but a member of the
-family, with distinct duties in it; involved even in its eccentricities,
-its peculiarities, its quaint benevolences. Edgar felt his head swim as
-they drove from the door which he had entered for the first time so very
-short a while ago. Was he in a dream? or had he gone astray out of the
-ordinary workday world into some modern version of the Arabian Nights?</p>
-
-<p>“You remember what I told you, Earnshaw, about the shop?” said his
-companion. “It is for the shop that I bespeak your interest now. I told
-you that my wife had no false pride on the subject, and how<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220">{220}</a></span> she cured
-me of my absurdity. I draw a great deal of money out of it, and I employ
-a great number of people. Of course, I have a great responsibility
-towards these people. If they were labourers on an estate, or miners in
-a coal-pit, everybody would acknowledge this responsibility; but being
-only shopmen and shopwomen, or, poor souls, as they prefer to have it,
-assistants in a house of business, the difficulty is much increased. Do
-I have your attention, Earnshaw?”</p>
-
-<p>“I am listening,” said Edgar; “but you must excuse me if my attention
-seems to wander a little. Consider how short an acquaintance ours is,
-and that I am somewhat giddy with the strange turn my life has taken.
-Pure selfishness, of course; but one does rank more highly than is fit
-in one’s own thoughts.”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure, it is all novel and strange,” said Mr. Tottenham, in a
-soothing and consolatory tone. “Never mind; you will soon get used to
-our ways. For my own part, I think a spinning mill is nothing to my
-shop. Several hundreds of decently dressed human creatures, some of the
-young women looking wonderfully like ladies, I can tell you, is a very
-bewildering sort of kingdom to deal with. The Queen rules in a vague
-sort of way compared to me. She has nothing to do with our private
-morals or manners; so long as we don’t rob or steal, she leaves us to
-our own guidance. But, in my dominions, there is all the minuteness of
-despotism. My subjects live in my house, eat my bread, and have to be
-regulated by my pleasure. I look after<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221">{221}</a></span> them in everything, their
-religious sentiments, their prudential arrangements, their amusements.
-You don’t listen to me, Earnshaw.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, I do. But if Phil’s lessons and Lady Mary’s lectures come in
-to disturb my attention, you won’t mind just at first? This is the same
-road we drove down on Saturday. There is the same woman standing at the
-same door.”</p>
-
-<p>“And here are the same horses, and the same man with the same sentiments
-driving you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thanks; you are very kind,” said Edgar, gratefully; “but my head goes
-round notwithstanding. I suppose so many ups and downs put one off one’s
-balance. I promise you to wake up when we come to the field of battle.”</p>
-
-<p>“You mean the shop,” said Mr. Tottenham; “don’t be afraid of naming it.
-I am rather excited, to tell the truth, about the effect it may have
-upon you. I am like a showman, with something quite original and out of
-the common to show.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222">{222}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII.<br /><br />
-<small>The Shop.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Tottenham’s</span> is situated in one of the great thoroughfares which lead out
-of the heart of London, towards one of its huge suburbs. It consists of
-an immense square pile of building, facing to four different streets,
-with frontage of plate-glass windows, and masses of costly shawls and
-silks appearing through. To many people, but these were mostly ladies,
-Tottenham’s was a kind of fairyland. It represented everything, from
-substantial domestic linen to fairy webs of lace, which money could buy.
-In the latter particular, it is true, Tottenham’s was limited; it
-possessed only the productions of modern fingers, the filmy fabrics of
-Flanders and France; but its silks, its velvets, its magnificences of
-shawl and drapery, its untold wealth in the homelier shape of linen and
-cambric, were unsurpassed anywhere, and the fame of them had spread
-throughout London, nay, throughout England. The name of this great
-establishment caused a flutter of feeling through all the Home Counties,
-and up even to the Northern borders. People sent their orders to
-Tottenham’s from every direction of the compass. The mass of its clients
-were, perhaps, not highly fashionable, though even the <i>crême de la
-crême</i> sometimes made<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223">{223}</a></span> a raid into the vast place, which was reported
-cheap, and where fashionable mothers were apt to assure each other that
-people, who knew what was what, might often pick up very nice things
-indeed at half the price which Élise would ask, not to speak of Worth.
-Persons who know what Worth has last invented, and how Élise works, have
-an immense advantage in this way over their humble neighbours. But the
-humble neighbours themselves were very good customers, and bought more
-largely, if with less discrimination. And the middle class, like one
-man, or rather like one woman, patronized Tottenham’s. It bought its
-gowns there, and its carpets and its thread and needles, everything that
-is wanted, in a house. It provided its daughters’ <i>trousseaux</i>, and
-furnished its sons’ houses out of this universal emporium; not the
-chairs and tables, it is true, but everything else. The arrangements of
-the interior were so vast and bewildering as to drive a stranger wild,
-though the <i>habitués</i> glided about from counter to counter with smiling
-readiness. There were as many departments as in the Home Office, but
-everybody looked after his own department, which is not generally the
-case in the Imperial shop; and the hum of voices, the gliding about of
-many feet, the rustle of many garments, the vague sound and sentiment of
-a multitude pervaded the alleys of counters, the crowded passages
-between, where group was jostled by group, and not an inch of space left
-unoccupied.</p>
-
-<p>Edgar’s entrance into this curious unexplored world, which he had been
-brought here expressly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224">{224}</a></span> to “take an interest” in, was made through a
-private way, through the counting-house, where many clerks sat at their
-desks, and where all was quiet and still as in a well-ordered merchant’s
-office. Mr. Tottenham had a large room, furnished with the
-morocco-covered chairs and writing-tables consecrated to such places,
-but with more luxury than usual; with Turkey carpets on the floor, and
-rich crimson curtains framing the great window, which looked into a
-small court-yard surrounded with blank walls. Here Mr. Tottenham paused
-to look over a bundle of business letters, and to hear some reports that
-were brought to him by the heads of departments. These were not entirely
-about business. Though the communications were made in a low voice,
-Edgar could not help hearing that Mr. So-and-So was in question here,
-and Miss Somebody there.</p>
-
-<p>“If something is not done, I don’t think the other young ladies will
-stand it, Sir,” said a grave elderly gentleman, whom Edgar, eyeing him
-curiously, felt that he would have taken at least for a Member of
-Parliament.</p>
-
-<p>“I will look into it, Robinson. You may make your mind quite easy. I
-will certainly look into it,” said Mr. Tottenham, with such a look as
-the Chancellor of the Exchequer may put on when he anticipates a failure
-in the revenue.</p>
-
-<p>“You see, Sir,” added Mr. Robinson, “a piece of scandal about any of the
-young ladies is bad enough; but when it comes to be the head of a
-department, or at least, one of the heads&mdash;and you remember it was all
-our opinions that Miss Lock<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225">{225}</a></span>wood was just the fit person for the place.
-I had a little difficulty myself on the point, for Miss Innes had been
-longer in the establishment; but as for being ladylike-looking, and a
-good figure, and a good manner, there could, of course, be no
-comparison.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will look into it, I will look into it,” said Mr. Tottenham,
-hurriedly.</p>
-
-<p>The head of a State has to bear many worries, in small things as well as
-in great; and the head of Tottenham’s was less a constitutional than a
-despotic ruler. Limited Monarchies do not answer, it must be allowed, on
-a small scale. The respectable Mr. Robinson withdrew to one side, while
-other heads of departments approached the Sultan of the Shop. Edgar
-looked on with some amusement and a good deal of interest. Mr. Tottenham
-was no longer speculative and viewy. He went into all the business
-details with a precision which surprised his companion, and talked of
-the rise in silks, and the vicissitudes in shirtings, with very much
-more apparent perception of the seriousness of the matter than he had
-ever evidenced in the other Tottenham’s, the wealthy house in which the
-shopkeeper lived as princes live. Edgar would have retired when these
-business discussions, or rather reports and audiences, began; but Mr.
-Tottenham restrained him with a quick look and gesture, motioning him to
-a seat close to his own.</p>
-
-<p>“I want you to see what I have to do,” he said in a rapid interjection
-between one conference and another.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226">{226}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>The last of all was a young man, studiously elegant in appearance, and
-in reality, as Edgar found out afterwards, the fine gentleman of the
-establishment, who had charge of the recreations of “the assistants,” or
-rather the <i>employés</i>, which was the word Mr. Watson preferred. Mr.
-Tottenham’s face lighted up when this functionary approached him with a
-piece of paper, written in irregular lines, like a programme, in his
-hand&mdash;and it was the programme of the next evening entertainment, to be
-given in the shop and for the shop. Mr. Watson used no such vulgar
-phraseology.</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps, Sir, you will kindly look over this, and favour us with any
-hint you may think necessary?” he said. “Music is always popular, and as
-we have at present a good deal of vocal talent among us, I thought it
-best to utilize it. The part-songs please the young ladies, Sir. It is
-the only portion of the entertainment in which they can take any active
-share.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then by all means let us please the ladies,” said Mr. Tottenham. “Look,
-Earnshaw; this is an entertainment which we have once a month. Ah,
-Watson, you are down, I see, for a solo on your instrument?”</p>
-
-<p>“I find it popular, Sir,” said Mr. Watson, with a smirk. “The taste for
-music is spreading. The young ladies, Sir, are anxious to know whether,
-as you once were good enough to promise, her Ladyship is likely this
-time to do us the honour&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, Watson; you may consider that settled; my wife is coming,”
-said Mr. Tottenham.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227">{227}</a></span> “Trial Scene in Pickwick? Yes; very well, very
-well. Duet, Mr. Watson and Miss Lockwood. Ah! I have been just hearing
-something about Miss Lockwood&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“She has enemies, Sir,” said Mr. Watson, flushing all over. He was a
-fair young man, and the colour showed at once in his somewhat pallid
-complexion. “In an establishment like this, Sir&mdash;a little world&mdash;where
-there are so many <i>employés</i>, of course, she has her enemies.”</p>
-
-<p>“That may be,” said Mr. Tottenham, musing. “I have not inquired into it
-yet; but in the meantime, if there is any latent scandal, wouldn’t it be
-better that she took no public part?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, of course, Sir!” cried Watson, bundling up his papers; “if she is
-to be condemned unheard&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Robinson, the respectable Member of Parliament, approached anxiously at
-this.</p>
-
-<p>“I assure you, Mr. Tottenham,” he cried, with a warmth of sincerity
-which appeared to come from the bottom of his heart, “I don’t want to
-judge Miss Lockwood, or any other young lady in the establishment; but
-when things come to my ears, I can’t but take notice of them. The other
-young ladies have a right to be considered.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is jealousy, Sir; nothing but jealousy!” cried Watson; “because
-she’s a deal more attractive than any of ’em, and gets more attention&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Softly, softly,” said Mr. Tottenham. “This grows serious. I don’t think
-I am apt to be moved by jealousy of Miss Lockwood, eh, Watson? You<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228">{228}</a></span> may
-go now, and if you know anything about the subject, I’ll see you
-afterwards.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know as she’s the best saleswoman, and the most ladylike-looking
-young lady in the house,” cried Watson; and then he perceived his slip
-of grammar, and blushed hotter than ever; for he was an ambitious young
-man, and had been instructed up to the point of knowing that his native
-English stood in need of improvement, and that bad grammar was against
-his rising in life.</p>
-
-<p>“That will do then; you can go,” said Mr. Tottenham. “Opinion is not
-evidence. Come, Robinson, if it’s making a feud in the house, I had
-better, I suppose, go into it at once.”</p>
-
-<p>“And I, perhaps, had better withdraw too,” said Edgar, whom this strange
-and sudden revelation of human tumults going on in the great house of
-business had interested in spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Stay; you are impartial, and have an unbiassed judgment,” said Mr.
-Tottenham. “Now, Robinson, let us hear what you have got to say.”</p>
-
-<p>Robinson approached with a world of care upon his face. Edgar having
-allowed his fancy to be taken possession of by the Member-of-Parliament
-theory, could not help the notion that this good worried man had risen
-to call for a Committee upon some subject involving peril to the nation,
-some mysterious eruption of Jesuits or Internationalists, or Foreign
-Office squabble. He was only the head of the shawl and cloak department
-in Tottenham’s; but it is quite marvellous how much<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229">{229}</a></span> humanity resembles
-itself, though the circumstances were so unlike.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Robinson had not much more than begun his story. He was in the
-preamble, discoursing, as his prototype in the House of Commons would
-have done, upon the general danger to society which was involved in
-carelessness and negligence of one such matter as that he was about to
-bring before the House&mdash;when a tap was heard at the door, a little sharp
-tap, half defiant, half coquettish, sounding as if the applicant, while
-impatient for admittance, might turn away capriciously, when the door
-was opened. Both the judge and the prosecutor evidently divined at once
-who it was.</p>
-
-<p>“Come in,” said Mr. Tottenham; “Come in!” for the summons was not
-immediately obeyed.</p>
-
-<p>Then there entered a&mdash;person, to use the safe yet not very respectful
-word which Mr. J. S. Mill rescued from the hands of flunkeys and
-policemen&mdash;a female figure, to speak more romantically, clad in elegant
-black silken robes, very well made, with dark hair elaborately dressed;
-tall, slight, graceful, one of those beings to be met with everywhere in
-the inner recesses of great shops like Tottenham’s, bearing all the
-outward aspect of ladies, moving about all day long upon rich carpets,
-in a warm luxurious atmosphere, “trying on” one beautiful garment after
-another, and surveying themselves in great mirrors as they pass and
-repass. The best of feminine society ebbs and flows around these
-soft-voiced and elegant creatures&mdash;duchesses, princesses, who look like
-washerwomen beside them, and young<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230">{230}</a></span> girls often not more pretty or
-graceful. They are the Helots of the female fashionable world, and, at
-the same time, to some degree, its despots; for does not many a dumpy
-woman appear ridiculous in the elegant garb which was proved before her
-eyes so beautiful and becoming upon the slim straight form of the “young
-person” who exhibited and sold if?</p>
-
-<p>Miss Lockwood entered, with her head well up, in one of the attitudes
-which are considered most elegant in those pretty coloured pictures of
-the “Modes,” which, to her class of young ladies, are as the Louvre and
-the National Gallery thrown into one. She was no longer, except from a
-professional point of view, to be considered absolutely as a “young
-lady.” Her face, which was a handsome face, was slightly worn, and her
-age must have been a year or two over thirty; but, as her accuser
-admitted, and as her defender asserted, a more “ladylike-looking”
-person, or a better figure for showing off shawl or mantle had never
-been seen in Tottenham’s or any other house of business. This was her
-great quality. She came in with a little sweep and rustle of her long
-black silken train; her dress, like her figure, was her stock-in-trade.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I beg your pardon,” she said in an abrupt yet airy tone, angry yet
-sensible withal of those personal advantages which made it something of
-a joke that anyone should presume to find fault with her. “I hear my
-character is being taken away<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231">{231}</a></span> behind my back, and I have come, please,
-to defend myself.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar looked at this kind of being, which was new to him, with a mixture
-of feelings. She had the dress and appearance of a lady, and she was
-unquestionably a woman, though she would have scorned so common a name.
-He rose from his seat when she came in with the intention of getting a
-chair for her, as he would have done to any other lady, but was
-deterred, he could scarcely tell why, by her own air and that of the
-other two men who looked at her without budging.</p>
-
-<p>“Sit down, sit down,” said Mr. Tottenham hastily, aside to him, “of
-course I know what you mean, but that sort of thing does not do. It
-makes them uncomfortable; sit down; she will give us trouble enough, you
-will see.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar, however, could not go so far as to obey. He kept standing, and he
-saw the new-comer look at him, and look again with a lighting up of her
-face as though she recognised him. So far as he was aware he had never
-seen her before in his life.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Lockwood, I do not think this is how you should speak,” said her
-employer, “you know whether I am in the habit of permitting anybody’s
-character to be taken away, without giving the accused full opportunity
-to defend themselves.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, Sir, to defend themselves,” she said with a toss of her head,
-“after all the harm’s done, and things has been said that can’t be
-unsaid. You know as well as I do, Sir, it’s all up with a young<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232">{232}</a></span> lady
-the moment things has been spoke of publicly against her.”</p>
-
-<p>“I hope not so bad as that,” said Mr. Tottenham mildly. He was a little
-afraid of the young lady, and so was the worthy parliamentary Robinson,
-who had withdrawn a step behind backs, when interrupted in his speech.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, Mr. Tottenham! and what does it mean, Sir, when you put a stop to
-my duet, me and Mr. Watson’s duet, and say it’s best I shouldn’t take
-part publicly? Isn’t that judging me, Sir, before ever hearing me&mdash;and
-taking all the stories as is told against me for true?”</p>
-
-<p>“I know none of the stories yet,” said Mr. Tottenham, “pray compose
-yourself. Mr. Robinson was going to explain to me; but as you are here,
-if it will at all save your feelings, I am quite ready to hear your
-story first.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Tottenham, Sir!” said Mr. Robinson, roused to speech.</p>
-
-<p>“Well! you can have no motive, and I can have no motive, but to come to
-the truth. Take a seat, Miss Lockwood, I will not keep you standing; and
-begin&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“Begin what?” the young woman faltered. “Oh, I am not going to be the
-one to begin,” she said saucily, “nobody’s obliged to criminate himself.
-And how can I tell what my enemies are saying against me? They must
-speak first.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then, Robinson, do you begin,” said the master; but it was easier in
-this case to command than to obey. Robinson shifted from one foot to the
-other,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233">{233}</a></span> he cleared his throat, he rubbed his hands. “I don’t know that I
-can, before her,” he said hoarsely, “I have daughters of my own.”</p>
-
-<p>“I knew,” said the culprit in triumphant scorn, “that you daren’t make
-up any of your stories before my face!”</p>
-
-<p>Robinson restrained himself with an effort. He was a good man, though
-the fuss of the incipient scandal was not disagreeable to him.
-“It’s&mdash;it’s about what is past, Sir,” he said hurriedly, “there is no
-reflection on Miss Lockwood’s conduct now. I’d rather not bring it all
-up here, not before strangers.”</p>
-
-<p>“You may speak before as many strangers as you please, I sha’n’t mind,”
-said the accused, giving Edgar a glance which bewildered him, not so
-much for the recognition which was in it, as for a certain confidence
-and support which his appearance seemed to give her. Mr. Tottenham drew
-him aside for a moment, whispering in his ear.</p>
-
-<p>“She seems to know you, Earnshaw?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; but I don’t know how. I never saw her before.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder&mdash;perhaps, if I were to take Robinson away and hear his
-story&mdash;while you might hear what she has to say?”</p>
-
-<p>“I? But indeed I don’t know her, I assure you I have never seen her
-before,” said Edgar in dismay.</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind, she knows you. She is just the sort of person to prefer to
-confide in one whom she does not see every day. I’ll leave you with
-her,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234">{234}</a></span> Earnshaw. Perhaps it will be best if you step this way, Robinson;
-I shall hear what you have to say here.”</p>
-
-<p>Robinson followed his superior promptly into a smaller room. Edgar was
-left with the culprit; and it is scarcely possible to realize a less
-comfortable position. What was he to do with her? He was not acquainted
-either with her or her class; he did not know how to address her. She
-looked like a lady, but yet was not a lady, and for the present moment
-she was on her trial. Was he to laugh, as he felt inclined to do, at the
-shabby trick his friend had played him, or was he to proceed gravely
-with his mission? Miss Lockwood solved this question for herself.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235">{235}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII.<br /><br />
-<small>Two Culprits on their Trial.</small></h2>
-
-<p>“You’re surprised, Sir, that a stranger should be so ready to speak up
-to you,” said Miss Lockwood, “you don’t know me from Adam? but I know
-you. You are the gentleman that was in the great Arden case, the
-gentleman as gave up. You wouldn’t think it, but I am mixed up with the
-Ardens too; and as soon as I set eyes upon you, I said to myself, ‘Here
-is one that will help me to my rights.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p>“Have you, too, rights that involve the Ardens?” said Edgar, startled
-yet half amused. “Alas, I fear I cannot help you. If you know my story
-you must know I am no Arden, and have no influence with the family one
-way or another.”</p>
-
-<p>“You mightn’t have influence, Sir, but you might hate ’em&mdash;as I do,” she
-said, with a gleam in her eyes which changed the character of her
-otherwise commonplace though handsome countenance.</p>
-
-<p>“Hate them!” cried Edgar, still more startled. “Why, this is a tragical
-way of approaching the subject. What have the Ardens done to you that
-you should hate them?”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s my story,” said Miss Lockwood, meeting him full with a steadfast
-look in her eyes, which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236">{236}</a></span> bewildered Edgar still more. She had taken a
-seat, and the two sat looking at each other across Mr. Tottenham’s
-writing table. Edgar had not even heard the name of Arden for years
-past, and nothing was further from his thoughts on entering this most
-commonplace of scenes, the great shop, than to be thrown back into his
-own past life, by the touch of one of the young ladies in the shawl and
-mantle department. His curiosity was awakened, but not in any high
-degree, for it was absurd to suppose that a shopwoman in Tottenham’s
-could have any power to affect the Ardens one way or another. He felt
-that this must be a tempest in a teacup, some trifling supposed
-injustice, something, perhaps, about a cottage on the estate, or the
-rancour of a dismissed servant; for he had heard vaguely that there had
-been considerable changes.</p>
-
-<p>“I am afraid I cannot sympathize with you in hating the Ardens,” he
-said; “if you know so much about me, you must know that I was brought up
-to regard Mrs. Arden as my sister, which I still do, notwithstanding the
-change of circumstances; and no one connected with her can be to me an
-object of hate.”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Mrs.</i> Arden, indeed!” said Miss Lockwood with contemptuous emphasis,
-tossing her handsome head.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. What has Mrs. Arden done to you?” said Edgar, half angry, half
-amused with what seemed to him the impotent spitefulness; the absurdity
-of the woman’s scorn struck him with ludicrous effect; and yet a certain
-uneasiness was in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237">{237}</a></span> the puzzle. Clare Arden had never possessed that
-natural instinctive courtesy which makes dependents friends. Probably
-she had wounded the <i>amour propre</i> of the shopwoman; but then no doubt
-shopwomen have to make up their minds to such wounds, and Mrs. Arden was
-much too well bred and much too proud to have gone out of her way to
-annoy a young lady at Tottenham’s&mdash;any offence given or taken must have
-been a mere inadvertence, whatever it was.</p>
-
-<p>“Done to me? Oh, she haven’t done nothing to me, not meaningly, poor
-creature,” said Miss Lockwood. “Poor thing! it’s me that has that in my
-power, not her.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you would tell me,” said Edgar seriously, leaning across the
-table towards her with deepened interest and a certain alarm, “I entreat
-you to tell me what you mean. You are right in thinking that no subject
-could be more interesting to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! but it ain’t, perhaps, the kind of interest I expected,” said Miss
-Lockwood with coquettish familiarity, pushing back her chair. She
-belonged to the class of women who delight to make any conversation,
-however trivial or however important, bear the air of a flirtation. She
-was quite ready to play with her present companion, to excite and
-tantalize his curiosity, to laugh at him, and delude him, if fortune
-favoured her. But a chance altogether unforeseen interrupted this not
-unpleasant operation, and threw Miss Lockwood and her mystery into, the
-shade. When the conversation had advanced thus far, a new personage
-suddenly appeared<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238">{238}</a></span> on the scene. With a little preliminary knock, but
-without waiting for any invitation, a lady opened the door, the sight of
-whom drove even Clare Arden out of Edgar’s mind. She was no longer
-young, and her days of possible beauty were over. At sight of her Edgar
-rose to his feet, with a sudden cry.</p>
-
-<p>For a moment the new-comer stood still at the door, looking at the
-unexpected scene. Her face was care-worn, and yet it was kind, revealing
-one of those mixtures of two beings which are to be seen so often in
-society&mdash;the kind, genial, gentle woman made by nature, with the
-conventional great lady, formed for her position, and earnestly striving
-as her highest duty to shape herself into the narrowness and worldliness
-which it demanded. This curious development of mingled good and evil has
-not, perhaps, had so much notice as it deserves from the observer. We
-are all acquainted with characters in which a little germ of goodness
-strives against natural dispositions which are not amiable; but the
-other compound is not less true, if perhaps more rare. Lady Augusta
-Thornleigh, who was Lady Mary Tottenham’s sister, was born one of the
-kindest souls that ever drew breath. She had it in her even to be
-“viewy” as Lady Mary was, or to be sentimentally yielding and eager for
-everybody’s happiness. But all her canons of duty bound her to regard
-these dispositions as weakness, almost as guilt, and represented
-worldliness to her as the highest of virtues. She sighed after this as
-the others sigh after the higher heights of self-denial.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239">{239}</a></span> Her searchings
-of heart were all directed (unconsciously) to make the worse appear the
-better cause; she tried to be worldly, believing that was right, as
-other people try to be unworldly. But I do wrong to keep Lady Augusta
-standing at the door of Mr. Tottenham’s room, while I describe her
-characteristics to the reader. She came in, calmly unexpectant of any
-sight but that of her brother-in-law; then starting to see two people,
-man and woman, seated on either side of the table with every appearance
-of being engaged in interesting conversation, made a step back again,
-bewildered.</p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon, I thought Mr. Tottenham was here,” she said,
-dropping her veil, which she had raised on entering. Miss Lockwood
-sprang up from her chair which she pushed back with an appearance of
-flurry and excitement, which was either real or very well counterfeited;
-while Edgar, deeply vexed, he could scarcely have told why, to be found
-thus, rose too, and approached his old friend. He would have liked to
-put himself at her feet, to kiss her hand, to throw himself upon her old
-kindness, if not like a son with a mother, at least like a loyal servant
-of one of those queens of nature whom generous men love to serve like
-sons. But he dared not do this&mdash;he dared not exceed the bounds of
-conventional acquaintance. He went forward eagerly but timidly, holding
-out his hands. I cannot find words to say how bewildered Lady Augusta
-was by the sight of Edgar, or with what consternation she recognised
-him. Whatever the motive had been which had drawn to him the atten<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240">{240}</a></span>tion
-of the Tottenhams, Lady Augusta Thornleigh was altogether ignorant of
-it. She had no expectation of seeing him, no idea that he could cross
-her path again. The profound surprise, the rush of kindly feeling which
-the first sight of him called forth, the thrill of terror and sense of
-danger which accompanied it, made her tremble with sudden agitation.
-Good heavens! what was she to do? She could not decline to recognise
-him; her heart indeed yearned to him, the subject of so much misfortune;
-but all the new complications that his presence would produce, rose up
-before her as he approached and made her heart sick. Oh, if he would
-only take the hint given in her hesitating look, and the veil which she
-had dropped over her face! But Edgar was fond of his old friend. She was
-the sister of his hostess, and he had felt ever since he went to
-Tottenham’s that one day or other he must meet her. He tried even at
-that moment to forget that she was anything beyond an old friend and
-Lady Mary’s sister; he tried to put the thought out of his mind that she
-was the mother of Gussy, his only love; he tried to forget the former
-relations between them. He had not seen her since the day when, leaving
-his former home, a nameless being, without either future or past to
-console him, he had been touched to the heart by her hurried farewell.
-He was then in all the excitement of a great sacrifice; he was a hero,
-admired and pitied everywhere; he had been almost her son, and she had
-called him Edgar, and wept over him. What a difference! he was a
-stranger now, in a totally different sphere,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241">{241}</a></span> fallen out of knowledge,
-out of sympathy, no longer a hero or representing any exciting break in
-the ordinary level of life; but a common man probably desirous of asking
-some favour, and one for whom all his former friends must have the
-troublesome sensation of feeling something ought to be done for&mdash;I do
-not know if this occurred to Edgar’s mind, who was little apt to make
-such claims, but it did occur to Lady Augusta.</p>
-
-<p>“Is it you?&mdash;Mr. &mdash;&mdash;?” she said faltering. She was not even sure of his
-new name.</p>
-
-<p>“Earnshaw,” he said; “Edgar Earnshaw; you recollect me even after all
-these years?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, surely. Of course I cannot but recollect you,” she said; “but I am
-taken by surprise. I did not know you were in England. I never could
-have expected to find you here.”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Edgar, chilled by her tone, and letting the hand drop which
-she had given him, he felt, with hesitation. “It seems to myself the
-last place in the world where I could be; but Mr. Tottenham is so kind
-as to wish&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>What was Mr. Tottenham so kind as to wish? I cannot describe Lady
-Augusta’s perplexity. Did it mean that Edgar had been so far reduced as
-to require employment in the shop? Had he come to that&mdash;he who was all
-but engaged to Gussy once? The idea gave her an indescribable shock; but
-then, how foolish of Mr. Tottenham, knowing all he did of Gussy and her
-obstinacy, and how she had all but broken her parents’ hearts by
-refusing the best of offers, and threatened to go into a sisterhood,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242">{242}</a></span>
-and came constantly to this very place to visit and influence the “young
-ladies” of the establishment! Lady Augusta grew red and grew pale in the
-agitation of her feelings; but what could she say? She could not ask him
-point-blank if this were so; she could not, after all these years, throw
-herself once more upon his chivalry, as she had done before, and implore
-him to keep out of her daughter’s way. The only way of outlet she found
-for her excitement and confusion was to look severely at Miss Lockwood,
-who stood with her hands folded, and an ingratiating smile on her face,
-stooping slightly forward, as who should say, What can I have the
-pleasure of showing your ladyship?</p>
-
-<p>Lady Augusta gave this “person” a withering glance. She was indignant
-with her for appearing to be on intimate terms with this man, whom, had
-Lady Augusta been wise, she would have gladly married off at once to
-anybody, so that he might be got out of her child’s way. But, being a
-very natural woman, with a great many tender prejudices and motherly
-feelings, she was a little haughty and offended that, having known
-Gussy, he should decline to such a level as Miss Lockwood. Gussy was not
-for him, and his very existence was a danger for her; but still, that he
-should be inconstant to Gussy, was to her mother a wrong and offence.</p>
-
-<p>“I fear,” she said, in her stateliest tone, “that I am interrupting
-you&mdash;that you were particularly engaged.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh no, your Ladyship, nothing but what can<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243">{243}</a></span> wait,” murmured Miss
-Lockwood, gliding off with a curtsey, and adding a sidelong half nod of
-leave-taking to Edgar, which made him hot with anger, yet was too absurd
-in its impertinence to be resented. Lady Augusta drew herself up more
-and more.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have interrupted a&mdash;conversation&mdash;an
-interview. I expected to find my brother-in-law here.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, you have interrupted nothing,” said Edgar. “Mr. Tottenham, I
-don’t know why, left me here with this&mdash;lady, while he went to make some
-inquiries about her; he will return directly. She had offered to explain
-her case, of which I knew nothing, to me,” he continued, with an
-embarrassed laugh, feeling himself grow red against his will. What did
-it matter to Lady Augusta whom he might converse with? But,
-notwithstanding, her manner was as that of a woman offended, and forming
-an unfavourable judgment, and Edgar was affected by this unspoken
-judgment in spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p>Then a pause ensued. Miss Lockwood had glided out of the room with her
-long train rustling, but no other sound, and Lady Augusta, like other
-less exalted persons, did not know what to say to carry on this curious
-conversation. She was not sufficiently in friendship with Edgar to say
-anything further to him on this subject, either as warning or reproving,
-and there was an awkward pause. He would have liked to put a hundred
-questions, but did not know how to begin.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244">{244}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I hope all are well,” he said at last, with some timidity.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, quite well. There have been various changes in the family, as no
-doubt you have heard; and more are in prospect,” Lady Augusta said
-pointedly: “That is the worst of grown-up sons and daughters. After
-twenty, their father and mother have very little enjoyment of them. I
-was not aware you knew my brother-in-law.”</p>
-
-<p>This she said with something of a jerk, having forestalled all possible
-inquiry on Edgar’s side, as she thought.</p>
-
-<p>“I only met him a few days ago,” said Edgar. “Perhaps I had better tell
-you at once my position in respect to him. He has offered me the post of
-tutor to his boy; and having nothing to do for the moment, poor as my
-qualifications are, I have accepted it. I need not tell you, who know
-them, how kind to me both he and Lady Mary have been.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tutor to&mdash;his boy!” Lady Augusta repeated the words, thunderstruck.
-This was something more terrible, more alarming than she had conceived
-possible. “Tutor to Phil?” She did not seem able to do more than repeat
-the words.</p>
-
-<p>“You may well be surprised,” said Edgar, trying to laugh; “no one could
-be more so than myself; but as they were so good as to overlook my
-deficiencies, what could I say?”</p>
-
-<p>“I was not thinking of your deficiencies. Oh! Mr. Earnshaw, oh! Edgar,
-could not your old<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_245" id="page_245">{245}</a></span> friends have helped you to something better than
-this?”</p>
-
-<p>Poor Lady Augusta! she was unfeignedly grieved and sorry to think of him
-as a dependent. And at the same time she was struck with terror
-unbounded to think that he would now be always in her way, in Gussy’s
-way, never to be got rid of. She was not fond of exercising what
-influence she possessed lavishly, for she had many sons and nephews; but
-she began to reflect immediately what she could do to promote Edgar’s
-interests. A tutor, and in Tottenham’s, for ever; or in Berkeley Square,
-always at hand, never to be got rid of&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“Dear me!” she cried, “tell me whom I should speak to. We must not let
-you vegetate in such a post as this.”</p>
-
-<p>I don’t think Edgar had much difficulty in divining what she meant, or
-which branch of the subject had most effect on her mind. And, perhaps,
-he was slightly irritated by his insight, though this effect very soon
-went off.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you,” he said, “for the moment I am well enough pleased with my
-position. Everybody is very kind to me; and, after so long abstinence, a
-little pleasant society is an agreeable change.”</p>
-
-<p>He was sorry after he had said this, for he liked Lady Augusta. Her
-countenance fell. She gave an alarmed glance at the door, where there
-was a passing sound as of some one approaching.</p>
-
-<p>“I should not have thought you would have liked it,” she said, with a
-little sigh. “Do you know where Mr. Tottenham is? I want to speak to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_246" id="page_246">{246}</a></span>
-him just for a moment. Thanks so much. I will wait here till he comes.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall attend to it&mdash;you may be sure I will attend to it,” said Mr.
-Tottenham’s voice, making itself audible before he himself appeared.
-“You were quite right, Robinson, quite right, and you may be sure I will
-pay every attention. Ah, Lady Augusta, you here. What! and you have
-found out our friend? I meant that for a little surprise to you. Yes,
-here he is, and I hope to hold him fast, at least till something very
-much better turns up&mdash;a thing which will happen, I am afraid, quite too
-soon for us.”</p>
-
-<p>“Let us hope so, for Mr. Earnshaw’s sake,” said Lady Augusta, with a
-little solemnity. How different her tone was from that of her
-brother-in-law! Perhaps, on the whole, her personal liking for Edgar was
-stronger than his was; but there were so many things mingled with it
-which made this liking impossible. Her very person seemed to stiffen as
-she spoke, and she made a little pause, as Lord Newmarch had done before
-pronouncing his name. “Mr.&mdash;Earnshaw.” To be sure it must be difficult,
-having known him by one name to speak to him by another; but somehow
-this little pause seemed to Edgar another painful reminder that he was
-not as he had once been.</p>
-
-<p>And then there ensued another embarrassed pause. Edgar could not say
-anything, for his feelings at the moment were somewhat bitter; and as
-for good Mr. Tottenham, he was perplexed and perturbed, not perceiving
-any reason why his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_247" id="page_247">{247}</a></span> sister-in-law should put on so solemn an expression.
-He had expected nothing less than to please her and all her family, by
-his kindness to the man whom he persisted in considering their friend.
-He was profoundly perplexed by this stiffness and air of solemnity. Had
-there been some quarrel, of which he knew nothing, between them? He was
-dumb in his bewilderment, and could not think of anything to say.</p>
-
-<p>“Did Miss Lockwood tell you much? or was she frightened?” he said. “It
-is a troublesome story, and I wish people would not be so horribly
-officious in reporting everything. Did she open her heart at all to
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham looked at him with calm matter-of-fact seriousness, and
-Lady Augusta looked at him with suspicious disapproval. To the woman of
-the world the question seemed absurd, to the man of ideas it was as
-simple as daylight; between them they embarrassed the altogether
-innocent third party, who had a clue to both their thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>“She told me nothing,” said Edgar, “as indeed how should she, never
-having spoken to me before to-day? She had seen me, she says, three
-years ago, at the time of the arrangement about Arden, and she chose to
-talk to me of that, heaven knows why.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was that what you were talking about when I came in?” said Lady
-Augusta, with a cold ring of unbelief in her tone, a tone which
-irritated Edgar deeply in spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p>“It was what we were talking of,” he said, con<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_248" id="page_248">{248}</a></span>cisely; and then Mr.
-Tottenham felt sure there had been some previously existing quarrel of
-which he knew nothing, and that his attempt to give pleasure had been so
-far a failure. This momentarily discouraged him&mdash;for to do harm, where
-you would fain have done good, is confusing to every well-intentioned
-soul.</p>
-
-<p>“Mary will be glad to hear something of your movements,” he said. “She
-has been anxious for some time past to know what you were going to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“I came to tell you,” said Lady Augusta. “We are in town for a few
-weeks, chiefly about business, for my little Mary has made up her mind
-to leave me; and as it has all been made up in a hurry, there will be a
-great deal to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Made up her mind to leave you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, don’t you understand? She is going to marry Lord Granton, the
-Marquis of Hautville’s son. Yes, you may congratulate me; it is very
-pleasant, and just such a match as one could have wished; and after
-Helena’s sad business,” said Lady Augusta, with a sigh, “we wanted
-something to console us a little.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think Helena’s was a very sensible marriage,” said Mr. Tottenham;
-“just the man for her; but I am glad your pride is going to have this
-salve all the same, and I daresay Mary will be delighted, for she is a
-dreadful little aristocrat, notwithstanding her own foolish marriage,
-and all she says.”</p>
-
-<p>“If every foolish marriage ended as well as Mary’s&mdash;” said Lady
-Augusta.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_249" id="page_249">{249}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Ah! you mean if every <i>parvenu</i> was rich?” said Mr. Tottenham; “but
-that, unfortunately, is past hoping for. So you have come to town for
-the trousseau? I hope your Ladyship means to patronise the shop.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Tom&mdash;” Lady Augusta began, her face clouding over.</p>
-
-<p>“Before your sister’s time, I too was ashamed of the shop,” he said, “if
-I am not now, it is Mary’s doing. And so her little godchild is to be a
-great lady! I am very glad for your sake, Augusta, and I hope the little
-thing will be happy. Does she know her own mind? I suppose Thornleigh is
-very much pleased.”</p>
-
-<p>“Delighted!” cried Lady Augusta, “as we all are; he is a charming
-fellow, and she is as happy as the day is long.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, we are all charming fellows, and everybody makes the best of us at
-that period of our lives,” said Mr. Tottenham; “all the same I am glad
-to hear everything is so pleasant. And Gussy? What does Gussy say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Tottenham!” Lady Augusta cried in an indignant whisper; and then
-she added, “tell Mary I shall come and tell her all about it. I must not
-detain you any longer from your business. Good-bye, Mr. Earnshaw.”</p>
-
-<p>“Earnshaw will see you to your carriage,” said Mr. Tottenham, “I am very
-busy&mdash;don’t think me careless; and I know,” he added in a lower tone,
-“you will like, when you are happy yourself, to say a kind word to an
-old friend.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_250" id="page_250">{250}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Happy herself! does a woman ever inquire whether she is personally happy
-or not when she has come to Lady Augusta’s age, and has a large family
-to care for? She took the arm which Edgar could not but offer with an
-impatient sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw does not require to be told that I wish him everything
-that is good,” she said, and allowed him to lead her out, wondering how
-she should manage to warn Beatrice, her youngest daughter, who had come
-with her, and who was looking at something in one of the many
-departments. The young Thornleighs were all fond of Edgar, and Lady
-Augusta dared not trust a young firebrand of nineteen to go and spread
-the news all over the family, without due warning, that he had appeared
-upon the scene again. Edgar’s short-lived anger had before this floated
-away, though his heart ached at the withdrawal from him of the
-friendship which had been sweet to his friendly soul. His heart melted
-more and more every step he walked by her side.</p>
-
-<p>“Lady Augusta,” he said at last hurriedly, “you were once as kind as an
-angel to me, when I wanted it much. Don’t be afraid of me; I shall never
-put myself in your way.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Mr. Earnshaw!” she cried, struck by compunction; “I ought to ask
-your pardon, Edgar; I ought to know you better; don’t judge me harshly.
-If you only knew&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t ask to know anything,” he said, though his heart beat high, “my
-sphere henceforth is very different from yours; you need have no fear of
-me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_251" id="page_251">{251}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“God bless you, whatever is your sphere! you are good, and I am sure you
-will be happy!” she cried with tears in her eyes, giving him her hand as
-he put her into her carriage; but then she added, “will you send some
-one to call Beatrice, little Beatrice, who came with me? No, don’t go
-yourself, pray don’t go&mdash;I would not give you so much trouble for the
-world!”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar did not feel sure whether he was most inclined to burst into rude
-laughter, or to go aside to the nearest corner and dry his glistening
-eyes.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_252" id="page_252">{252}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></a>CHAPTER XIX.<br /><br />
-<small>Schemes and Speculations.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Edgar</span> went home in the evening, feeling a degree of agitation which he
-had scarcely given himself credit for being capable of. He had been on
-so low a level of feeling all these years, that he believed himself to
-have grown duller and less capable of emotion, though he could not
-explain to himself how it should be so. But now the stormwinds had begun
-to blow, and the tide to rise. The mere sight of Lady Augusta was enough
-to have brought back a crowd of sensations and recollections, and there
-had lately been so many other touches upon the past to heighten the
-effect of this broad gleam of light. Even the curious recognition of
-him, and the apparently foolish enmity against the Ardens, which the
-young lady at Tottenham’s had shown, had something to do with the
-ferment of contending feelings in which he found himself. Hate them! no,
-why should he hate them? But to be thus called back to the recollection
-of them, and of all that he had been, had a strangely disturbing
-influence upon his mind. In his aimless wanderings alone over Europe,
-and in his sudden plunge into a family life quite new to him in
-Scotland, he had believed himself utterly set free from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_253" id="page_253">{253}</a></span> all the
-traditions and associations of the former existence, which was indeed
-more like a chapter out of a romance than a real episode in life. Taking
-it at the most, it was nothing but an episode. After years of neglected
-youth, a brief breathless moment of power, independence, and a kind of
-greatness, and then a sharp disruption from them all, and plunge into
-obscurity again. Why should that short interval affect him more than all
-the long tracts of less highly coloured life, from which it stood out
-like a bit of brilliant embroidery on a sombre web? Edgar could not
-tell; he felt that it did so, but he could not answer to himself why.
-Mr. Tottenham talked all the way back about one thing and another, about
-Miss Lockwood, and the scandal which had suddenly shocked the
-establishment, about little Mary Thornleigh and her brilliant marriage,
-about the evening entertainment to be given in the shop, which was quite
-as important to him. Fortunately for Edgar, his companion was capable of
-monologue, and went on quite pleasantly during their drive without need
-of anything more than a judicious question or monosyllable of assent.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll tell you one thing, Earnshaw,” he said, “in such undertakings as
-mine the great thing is never to be discouraged; never allow yourself to
-be discouraged; that is my maxim; though I am not always able to carry
-it out. I hope I never shall give in to say that because things go wrong
-under my management, or because one meets with
-disappointments&mdash;therefore things must always go wrong, and nothing good
-ever come of it. Of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_254" id="page_254">{254}</a></span> course, look at it from a serious point of view,
-concerts and penny readings, and so forth are of no importance. That is
-what Gussy always tells me. She thinks religion is the only thing; she
-would like to train my young ladies to find their chief pleasure in the
-chapel and the daily service, like her Sisters in their convent. I am
-not against Sisterhoods, Earnshaw; I should not like to see Gussy go
-into one, it is true&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Is there any likelihood of that?” Edgar asked with a great start, which
-made the light waggon they were driving in, swerve.</p>
-
-<p>“Hallo! steady!” cried Mr. Tottenham, “likelihood of it? I don’t know.
-She wished it at one time. You see, Earnshaw, we don’t sufficiently
-understand, seeing how different they are, how much alike women are to
-ourselves. I suppose there comes a time in a girl’s life, as well as in
-a man’s, when she wants to be herself, and not merely her father’s
-daughter. You may say she should marry in that case; but supposing she
-doesn’t want to marry, or, put the case, can’t marry as she would wish?
-What can she do? I think myself they overdo the devotional part; but a
-Sisterhood means occupation, a kind of independence, a position of her
-own&mdash;and at the same time protection from all the folly we talk about
-strong-minded women.”</p>
-
-<p>“But does it mean all this?” said Edgar surprised, “that is not the
-ordinary view?”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear fellow, the ordinary view is all nonsense. I say it’s
-protection against idiotic talk. The last thing anyone thinks of is to
-bring forward<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_255" id="page_255">{255}</a></span> the strong-minded abuse in respect to a Sisterhood. But
-look here; I know of one, where quite quietly, without any fuss, there’s
-the Sister Doctor in full practice, looking after as many children as
-would fill a good-sized village. She’s never laughed at and called Dr.
-Mary, M.D.; and there’s the Sister Head-Master, with no Governing Body
-to make her life miserable. They don’t put forward that view of the
-subject. Possibly, for human nature is very queer, they think only of
-the sacrifice, &amp;c.; but I don’t wonder, for my part, that it’s a great
-temptation to a woman. Gussy Thornleigh is twenty-five, too old to be
-only her mother’s shadow; and if nothing else that she likes comes in
-her way&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham made a pause. Did he mean anything by that pause? Poor
-Edgar, who felt himself to be a sport to all the wild imaginations that
-can torture a man, sat silent, and felt the blood boiling in his veins
-and his heart leaping in his throat. It was as well that his companion
-stopped talking, for he could not have heard any voice but that of his
-own nerves and pulses all throbbing and thrilling. Heaven and earth!
-might it be possible that this should come about, while he, a man, able
-and willing to work, to slave, to turn head and hands to any occupation
-on the earth, should be hanging on helpless, unable to interfere? And
-yet he had but this moment told Gussy’s mother that she need not fear
-him! A strong impulse came upon him to spring down from the waggon and
-walk back to town and tell Lady Augusta to fear everything, that he
-would never rest nor let her rest till he won her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_256" id="page_256">{256}</a></span> daughter back to a
-more smiling life. Alas, of all follies what could be so foolish? he,
-the tutor, the dependent, without power to help either himself or her.
-The waggon rushed along the dark country road, making a little circle of
-light round its lamps, while the sound of the horses’ feet, and the roll
-of the wheels, enveloped them in a circle of sound, separating, as it
-were, this moving speck of light and motion from all the inanimate
-world. It would have been as easy to change that dark indifferent sphere
-suddenly into the wide and soft sympathy of a summer evening, as for
-Edgar, at this period of his life, to have attempted from this hopeless
-abstraction, in which he was carried along by others, to have interfered
-with another existence and turned its course aside. Not now&mdash;if ever,
-not yet&mdash;and, ah, when, if ever? It was a long time before he was able
-to speak at all, and his companion, who thus wittingly or unwittingly,
-threw such firebrands of thought into his disturbed mind was silent too,
-either respectful of Edgar’s feelings, or totally unconscious of them,
-he could not tell which.</p>
-
-<p>“May I ask,” he inquired, after a long pause, clearing his throat, which
-was parched and dry, “what was meant by ‘Helena’s sad business?’ What
-has become of that Miss Thornleigh?”</p>
-
-<p>“What has become of her is, that she’s married,” said Mr. Tottenham. “A
-very natural thing, though Helena, I believe, was a little ashamed of
-herself for giving into it. She married a man who has nothing but his
-brains to recommend him&mdash;no family to speak of, and no money, which,
-between our<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_257" id="page_257">{257}</a></span>selves, is a good deal worse. He is a professor, and a
-critic, and that sort of thing&mdash;too clever for me, but he suits her
-better than anyone I know. Helena is a totally different sort of person,
-sure to have her own way, whatever she takes into her head. Now Gussy,
-on the contrary&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Tottenham,” said Edgar, hoarsely, “for God’s sake, don’t say any
-more.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” said the other; and then he added, “I beg your pardon, I beg your
-pardon,” and flourished his whip in the air by way of a diversion. This
-manœuvre was so successful that the party had quite enough to think of
-to keep their seats, and their heads cool in case of an accident, as the
-spirited beasts plunged and dashed along the remaining bit of way. “That
-was as near a spill as I remember,” Mr. Tottenham said, as he threw the
-reins to the groom, when, after a tearing gallop up the avenue, the bays
-drew up at the door. He was flushed with the excitement and the
-struggle; and whether he had put Edgar to the torture in ignorance, or
-with any occult meaning, the sufferer could not discover. The momentary
-gleam of danger at the end had however done even Edgar good.</p>
-
-<p>Lady Mary met them at dinner, smiling and pretty, ready to lend an ear
-to anything interesting that might be said, but full of her own projects
-as when they left her. She had carried out her plans with the
-business-like despatch which women so often excel in, and Edgar, whose
-mind had been so remorselessly stirred and agitated all day, found<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_258" id="page_258">{258}</a></span>
-himself quite established as an active coadjutor in her great scheme at
-night.</p>
-
-<p>“I have sent a little circular to the printers,” said Lady Mary, “saying
-when the German lectures would be resumed. You said Tuesday, I think,
-Mr. Earnshaw? That is the day that suits us best. Several people have
-been here this afternoon, and a great deal of interest has been excited
-about it; several, indeed, have sent me their names already. Oh, I told
-them you were working half against your will, without thinking very much
-of the greatness of the object; indeed, with just a little
-contempt&mdash;forgive me, Mr. Earnshaw&mdash;for this foolish fancy of women
-trying to improve their minds.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, only for the infinitely odd fancy of thinking I can help in the
-process,” said Edgar, dragging himself, as it were, within this new
-circle of fantastic light. His own miseries and excitements, heaven help
-him, were fantastic enough; but how real they looked by the side of this
-theoretical distress! or so at least the young man thought. I cannot
-tell with what half-laughing surprise, when his mind was at ease&mdash;but
-half-irritated dismay when he was troubled&mdash;he looked at this lady,
-infinitely more experienced in men and society and serious life than
-himself, who proposed to improve her mind by means of his German
-lessons. Was she laughing at him and the world? or was it a mere fashion
-of the time which she had taken up? or, most wonderful of all, was she
-sincere and believing in all this? He really thought she was, and so did
-she, not perceiving the curious misapprehension of things and words<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_259" id="page_259">{259}</a></span>
-involved. It is common to say that a sense of humour saves us from
-exposing ourselves in many ways, yet it is amazing how little even our
-sense of humour helps us to see our own graver absurdities, though it
-may throw the most unclouded illumination upon those of other people.</p>
-
-<p>“That is a polite way of concealing your sentiments,” said Lady Mary;
-“but never mind, I am not angry. I am so sure of the rightness of the
-work, and of its eventual success, that I don’t mind being laughed at.
-To enlarge the sphere of ideas ever so little is an advantage worth
-fighting for.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very well,” said Edgar, “I am proud to be thought capable of enlarging
-somebody’s sphere. What do lectures on German mean? Before I begin you
-must tell me what I have to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must teach them the language, Mr. Earnshaw.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, but where shall we begin? with the alphabet? Must I have a
-gigantic black board to write the letters on?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, not so rudimentary as that; most of the ladies, in fact, know a
-little German,” said Lady Mary. “I do myself, just enough to talk.”</p>
-
-<p>“Enough to talk! I don’t know any more of English, my native tongue,”
-said Edgar, “than just enough to talk.”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t laugh at me, Mr. Earnshaw. I know nothing of the grammar, for
-instance. We are never taught grammar. We get a kind of knowledge of a
-language, just to use it, like a tool; but what is the principle of the
-tool, or how it is put together, or<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_260" id="page_260">{260}</a></span> in what way it is related to other
-tools of the same description, I know no more than Adam did.”</p>
-
-<p>“She knows a great deal more than I do,” said Mr. Tottenham, admiringly.
-“I never could use that sort of tool, as you call it, in my life. A
-wonderfully convenient thing though when you can do it. I never was much
-of a hand at languages; you should learn all that when you are quite
-young, in the nursery, when it’s no trouble&mdash;not leave it till you have
-to struggle with verbs, and all that sort of thing; not to say that you
-never can learn a foreign language by book.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tottenham uttered these sentiments in a comfortable leisurely,
-dressing-gown and slippers sort of way. He did not give in to these
-indulgences in reality, but when he came upstairs to the drawing-room,
-and stretched himself in his great chair by the fire, and felt the
-luxurious warmth steal through him, after the chill of the drive and the
-excitement of its conclusion, he felt that inward sense of ease and
-comfort which nerves a man to utter daring maxims and lay down the law
-from a genial height of good-humour and content.</p>
-
-<p>“Tom!” cried Lady Mary, with impatience; and then she laughed, and
-added, “barbarian! don’t throw down all my arguments in your sleepy way.
-If there is anything of what you call chivalry left in the world, you
-men, who are really educated and whom people have taken pains with,
-ought to do your best to help us who are not educated at all.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_261" id="page_261">{261}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“O! that is the state of the case? Am I so very well educated? I did not
-know it,” said Mr. Tottenham, “but you need not compel us to follow
-Dogberry’s maxim, and produce our education when there’s no need for
-such vanities. I have pledged you to come to the shop, Mary, on
-Wednesday week. They think a great deal of securing my lady. They are
-going to give the trial scene from Pickwick, which is threadbare enough,
-but suits this sort of business, and there’s a performance of Watson’s
-on the cornet, and a duet, and some part songs, and so forth. I daresay
-it will bore you. This affair of Miss Lockwood’s is very troublesome,”
-Mr. Tottenham continued, sitting upright in his chair, and knitting his
-brows; “everything was working so well, and a real desire to improve
-showing itself among the people. These very girls, a fortnight since,
-were as much interested in the glacier theory, and as much delighted
-with the snow photographs as it was possible to be; but the moment a
-private question comes in, everything else goes to the wall.”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose,” said Edgar, “the fact is that we are more interested about
-each other, on the whole, than in any abstract question, however
-elevating.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, that is as much as to say that everything must give place to
-gossip,” said Lady Mary, severely, “a doctrine I will never give in to.”</p>
-
-<p>“And, by the way,” said Mr. Tottenham, sinking back into dreamy ease,
-“that reminds me of your<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_262" id="page_262">{262}</a></span> sister’s great news. What sort of a family is
-it? I remember young Granton well enough, a good-looking boy in the
-Guards, exactly like all the others. Little Mary is, how old?
-Twenty-one? How those children go on growing. It is the first good
-marriage, so to speak, in the family. I am glad Augusta is to have the
-salve of a coronet after all her troubles.”</p>
-
-<p>“What a mixture of metaphors!” cried Lady Mary, “the salve of a
-coronet!”</p>
-
-<p>“That comes of my superior education, my dear,” said Mr. Tottenham. “She
-doesn’t deny it’s a comfort to her. Her eyes, poor soul, had a look of
-satisfaction in them. And she has had anxiety enough of all kinds.”</p>
-
-<p>“We need not discuss Augusta’s affairs, Tom,” said Lady Mary, with a
-glance at Edgar, so carefully veiled that the aroused and exciting state
-in which he was, made him perceive it at once. She gave her husband a
-much more distinct warning glance; but he, good man, either did not, or
-would not see it.</p>
-
-<p>“What, not such a happy incident as this?” said Mr. Tottenham; “the
-chances are we shall hear of nothing else for some time to come. It will
-be in the papers, and all your correspondents will send you
-congratulations. After all, as Earnshaw says, people are more interested
-about each other than about any abstract question. I should not wonder
-even, if, as one nail knocks out another, little Mary’s great marriage
-may banish the scandal about Miss Lockwood from the mind of the shop.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_263" id="page_263">{263}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Lady Mary for some seconds yielded to an impulse quite unusual to her.
-“What can the shop possibly have to do&mdash;” she began, hastily, “with the
-Thornleigh affairs?” she added, in a subdued tone. “If it was our own
-little Molly, indeed, whom they all know&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Mary, they interest themselves in all your alliances,” said Mr.
-Tottenham, “and you forget that Gussy is as well known among them as you
-are. Besides, as Earnshaw says&mdash;Don’t go, Earnshaw; the night is young,
-and I am unusually disposed for talk.”</p>
-
-<p>“So one can see,” said Lady Mary, under her breath, with as strong an
-inclination to whip her husband as could have been felt by the most
-uncultivated of womankind. “Come and look at my prospectus and the
-course of studies we are arranging for this winter, Mr. Earnshaw. Some
-of the girls might be stirred up to go in for the Cambridge
-examinations, I am sure. I want you so much to come to the village with
-me, and be introduced to a few of them. There is really a great deal of
-intelligence among them; uneducated intelligence, alas! but under good
-guidance, and with the help which all my friends are so kindly willing
-to give&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But please remember,” cried Edgar, struggling for a moment on the edge
-of the whirlpool, “that I cannot undertake to direct intelligence. I can
-teach German if you like&mdash;though probably the first German governess
-that came to hand would do it a great deal better.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_264" id="page_264">{264}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Not so, indeed; the Germans are, perhaps, better trained in the theory
-of education than we are; but no woman I have ever met had education
-enough herself to be competent to teach in a thoroughly effective way,”
-cried Lady Mary, mounting her steed triumphantly. Edgar sat down humbly
-by her, almost forgetting, in his sense of the comical position which
-fate had placed him in, the daily increasing embarrassments which filled
-his path. All the Universities put together could scarcely have made up
-as much enthusiasm for education as shone in Lady Mary’s pretty eyes,
-and poured from her lips in floods of eloquence. Mr. Tottenham, who
-leaned back in his chair abstractedly, and pondered his plans for the
-perfection of the faulty and troublesome little society in the shop,
-took but little notice, being sufficiently occupied with views of his
-own; but Edgar felt his own position as a superior being, and
-representative of the highest education, so comical, that it was all he
-could do to keep his gravity. To guide the eager uneducated
-intelligence, to discipline the untrained thought, nay, to teach women
-to think, in whose hands he, poor fellow, felt himself as a baby, was
-about the most ludicrous suggestion, he felt, that could have been made
-to him. But nothing could exceed the good faith and earnestness with
-which Lady Mary expounded her plans, and described the results she hoped
-for. This was much safer than the talk about little Mary Thornleigh’s
-marriage&mdash;or the unexplainable reasons which kept Gussy Thornleigh from
-marrying at all&mdash;or any other of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_265" id="page_265">{265}</a></span> those interesting personal problems
-which were more exciting to the mind, and much less easily discussed.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_266" id="page_266">{266}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX"></a>CHAPTER XX.<br /><br />
-<small>The Village.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next afternoon was appointed by Lady Mary as the time at which Edgar
-should accompany her to Harbour Green, and be made acquainted with at
-least a portion of his future pupils. As I have said, this was a safe
-sort of resource, and he could not but feel that a compassionate
-understanding of his probable feelings, and difficulties of a more
-intimate kind, had something to do with Lady Mary’s effort to enlist him
-so promptly and thoroughly in the service of her scheme. Both husband
-and wife, however, in this curious house were so thoroughly intent upon
-their philanthropical schemes, that it was probably mere supererogation
-to add a more delicate unexpressed motive to the all-sufficing
-enthusiasm which carried them forward. Shortly, however, before the hour
-appointed, a little twisted note was brought to him, postponing till the
-next day the proposed visit to the village, and Edgar was left to
-himself to pursue his own studies on Phil’s behalf, whose education he
-felt was quite enough responsibility for one so little trained in the
-art of conveying instruction as he was. Phil had already favoured him
-with one of those <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_267" id="page_267">{267}</a></span>engrossing and devoted attachments which are so
-pleasant, yet sometimes so fatiguing to the object. He followed Edgar
-about wherever he went, watched whatever he did with devout admiration,
-and copied him in such minute matters as were easily practicable, with
-the blindest adoration. The persistence with which he quoted Mr.
-Earnshaw had already become the joke of the house, and with a devotion
-which was somewhat embarrassing he gave Edgar his company continually,
-hanging about him wherever he was. As Edgar read Lady Mary’s note which
-the boy brought to him, Phil volunteered explanations.</p>
-
-<p>“I know why mamma wrote you that note,” he said, “it’s because Aunt
-Augusta is there. I heard them saying&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind what you heard them saying,” said Edgar; and then he yielded
-to a movement of nature. “Was your aunt alone, Phil?” he asked&mdash;then
-grew crimson, feeling his weakness.</p>
-
-<p>“How red your face is, Mr. Earnshaw, are you angry? No, I don’t think
-she was alone; some of the girls were with her. Mamma said she was
-engaged to you, and they made her give it up.”</p>
-
-<p>“Naturally,” said Edgar, “any day will do for me. What do you say now,
-Phil, as I am free for the afternoon, to a long walk?”</p>
-
-<p>“Hurrah!” cried the boy, “I wanted so much to go up to the gamekeeper’s,
-up through the woods to see the last lot of puppies. Do you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_268" id="page_268">{268}</a></span> mind
-walking that way? Oh, thanks, awfully! I am so much obliged to Aunt
-Augusta for stopping mamma.”</p>
-
-<p>“Come along then,” said Edgar. He was glad to turn his back on the
-house, though he could not but look back as he left, wondering whether,
-at any moment at any door or window, the face might appear which he had
-not seen for so long&mdash;the face of his little love, whom he had once
-loved but lightly, yet which seemed to fix itself more vividly in his
-recollection every day. He could not sit still and permit himself to
-think that possibly she was in the same house with him, within reach,
-that he might hear at any moment the sound of her voice. No, rather,
-since he had given his voluntary promise to her mother, and since he was
-so far separated from her by circumstances, rather hurry out of the
-house and turn his back upon a possibility which raised such a tumult in
-his heart. He breathed more freely when he was out of doors, in the damp
-wintry woods, with Phil, who kept close by his side, carrying on a
-monologue very different in subject, but not so different in character
-from his father’s steady strain of talk. There is a certain charm in
-these wintry woods, the wet greenness of the banks, the mournful
-stillness of the atmosphere, the crackle of here and there a dropping
-branch, the slow sailing through the air now and then of a leaf, falling
-yellow and stiff from the top of a bough. Edgar liked the covert and the
-companionship of trees, which were denuded like himself of all that had
-made life brave and fair. The oaks and beeches,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_269" id="page_269">{269}</a></span> stiffening in their
-faded russet and yellow, stood against the deep green of the pine and
-firs, like forlorn old beauties in rustling court dresses of a worn-out
-fashion; the great elms and spare tall poplars spread their intricate
-lacework of branches against the sky; far in the west the sun was still
-shining, giving a deep background of red and gold to the crowded groups
-of dry boughs. The rustle of some little woodland animal warmly furred
-among the fallen leaves and decaying husks, the crackling of that branch
-which always breaks somewhere in the silence, the trickle of water,
-betraying itself by the treacherous greenness of the mossy grass&mdash;these
-were all the sounds about, except their own footsteps, and the clear
-somewhat shrill voice of the boy, talking with cheerful din against
-time, and almost making up for the want of the birds, so much did his
-cheerful aimless chatter resemble their sweet confusion of song and
-speech, the ordinary language of the woods.</p>
-
-<p>“I could hit that squirrel as easy as look at him. I bet you a shilling
-I could! only just look here, cocking his shining eye at us, the cheeky
-little brute! Here goes!”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t,” said Edgar, “how should you like it if some Brobdingnagian
-being took a shot at you? What do you think, Phil&mdash;were those ladies
-going to stay?”</p>
-
-<p>“Those ladies?” cried Phil in amazement, for indeed they were dragged in
-without rhyme or reason in the middle of the woods and of their walk.
-“Do you mean Aunt Augusta and the girls?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_270" id="page_270">{270}</a></span> Oh, is that all? No, I don’t
-suppose so. Should you mind? They’re jolly enough you know, after all,
-not bad sort of girls, as girls go.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am glad you give so good an account of them,” said Edgar, amused in
-spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, not half bad sort of girls! nicer a great deal than the ones from
-the Green, who come up sometimes. But, I say, Myra Witherington’s an
-exception. She <i>is</i> fun; you should see her do old Jones, or the Rector;
-how you would laugh! Once I saw her do papa. I don’t think she meant it;
-she just caught his very tone, and the way he turns his head, all in a
-moment; and then she flushed up like fire and was in such a fright lest
-we should notice. Nobody noticed but me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Your cousins, I suppose, are not so clever as that,” said Edgar,
-humouring the boy, and feeling himself as he did so, the meanest of
-household spies.</p>
-
-<p>“It depends upon which it is. Mary is fun, the one that’s going to be
-married,” said Phil, “I suppose <i>that</i> will spoil her; and Bee is not
-bad. She ain’t so clever as Mary, but she’s not bad. Then there’s Gussy,
-is a great one for telling stories; she’s capital when it rains and one
-can’t get out. She’s almost as good as the lady with the funny name in
-the Arabian Nights.”</p>
-
-<p>“Does she often come here?” said Edgar with a tremble in his voice.</p>
-
-<p>“They say she’s going to be a nun,” said Phil; “how funny people are! I
-can’t fancy Cousin Gussy shut up in a convent, can you? I’d rather
-marry,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_271" id="page_271">{271}</a></span> like Mary, some great swell; though they are never any fun after
-they’re married,” Phil added parenthetically with profound gravity. As
-for Edgar he was in no humour to laugh at this precocious wisdom. He
-went straight on, taking the wrong way, and scarcely hearing the shouts
-of the boy who called him back. “This is the way to the gamekeeper’s,”
-cried Phil, “Mr. Earnshaw, where were you going? You look as if you had
-been set thinking and could not see the way.”</p>
-
-<p>How true it was; he had been set thinking, and he knew no more what road
-he was going than if he had been blindfolded. Years after, the damp
-greenness of the fading year, the songless season, the bare branches
-against the sky, would bring to Edgar’s mind the moment when he shot off
-blankly across the path in the wood at Tottenham’s, not knowing and not
-caring where he went.</p>
-
-<p>Next day Lady Mary fulfilled her promise. She drove him down in her own
-pony carriage to the village, and there took him upon a little round of
-calls. They went to the Rectory, and to Mrs. Witherington’s, and to the
-Miss Bakers who were great authorities at Harbour Green. The Rector was
-a large heavy old man, with heavy eyes, who had two daughters, and had
-come by degrees (though it was secretly said not without a struggle) to
-be very obedient to them. He said, “Ah, yes, I dare say you are right,”
-to everything Lady Mary said, and gave Edgar a little admonition as to
-the seriousness of the work he was undertaking. “Nothing is more
-responsible, or more delicate than<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_272" id="page_272">{272}</a></span> instructing youth,” said the Rector,
-“for my part I am not at all sure what it is to come to. The maids know
-as much now as their mistresses used to do, and as for the mistresses I
-do not know where they are to stop.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you would not have us condemned to ignorance, papa,” said one of
-his daughters.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, I should not take it upon me to condemn you to anything,” said
-the old man with his quavering voice, “I hope only that you may not find
-you’ve gone further than you had any intention of going, before you’ve
-done.”</p>
-
-<p>This somewhat vague threat was all he ventured upon in the way of
-remonstrance; but he did not give any encouragement, and was greatly
-afraid of the whole proceeding as revolutionary, and of Lady Mary
-herself, as a dangerous and seditious person sowing seeds of rebellion.
-Mrs. Witherington, to whom they went next, was scarcely more
-encouraging. Her house was a large Queen Anne house, red brick, with a
-pediment surmounting a great many rows of twinkling windows. It fronted
-to the Green, without any grassplot or ornamental shrubs in front; but
-with a large well-walled garden behind, out of which rich branches of
-lilac and laburnum drooped in spring, and many scents enriched the air.
-The rooms inside were large, but not very lofty, and the two
-drawing-rooms occupied the whole breadth of the house, one room looking
-to the Green and the other to the garden. There were, or ought to have
-been folding doors between, but these were never used, and the opening
-was hung with curtains<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_273" id="page_273">{273}</a></span> instead, curtains which were too heavy, and
-over-weighted the rooms. But otherwise the interior was pretty, with
-that homely gracefulness, familiar and friendly, which belongs to the
-dwelling of a large family where everyone has his, or rather her,
-habitual concerns and occupations. The front part was the most cheerful,
-the back the finest. There a great mirror was over the mantelpiece, but
-here the late Colonel’s swords, crossed, held the place of honour. The
-visitors entered through this plainer room, which acted as ante-chamber
-to the other, and where Mrs. Witherington was discovered, as in a scene
-at the theatre, seated at a writing table with a pile of tradesmen’s
-books before her. She was a tall spare woman, having much more the
-aspect which is associated with the opprobrious epithet, old maid, than
-that which traditionally ought to belong to the mother of nine
-children&mdash;all except the four daughters who remained at home&mdash;out and
-about in the world. She had three sons who were scattered in the
-different corners of the earth, and two daughters married, one of whom
-was in India, and the other a consul’s wife in Spain. The young ladies
-at home were the youngest of the family, and were, the two married
-daughters said to each other when they met, which was very seldom, “very
-differently brought up from what we were, and allowed a great deal too
-much of their own way.” Neither of these ladies could understand what
-mamma could be thinking of to indulge those girls so; but Mrs.
-Witherington was by no means an over-indulgent person by nature, and I
-think she must have made<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_274" id="page_274">{274}</a></span> up her mind that to indulge the vagaries of
-the girls was safest on the whole and most conducive to domestic peace.</p>
-
-<p>Fortunately each of these young women had a “way” of her own, except
-Myra, the youngest, who was the funny one, whom Phil and most boys
-admired. The others were&mdash;Sissy, who was understood to have a suspended
-love affair, suspended in consequence of the poverty of her lover, from
-which she derived both pain and pleasure, so to speak; for her sisters,
-not to speak of the other young ladies of the Green, undoubtedly looked
-up to her in consequence, and gave her a much more important place in
-their little world than would have been hers by nature; and Marian, who
-was the musical sister, who played “anything” at sight, and was good for
-any amount of accompaniments, and made an excellent second in a duet;
-and Emma, who was the useful one of the family, and possessed the
-handsome little sewing-machine in the corner, at which she executed
-yards upon yards of stitching every day, and made and mended for the
-establishment. Sissy, in addition to having a love affair, drew; so that
-these three sisters were all well defined, and distinct. Only Myra was
-good for nothing in particular. She was the youngest, long the baby, the
-pet of the rest, who had never quite realized the fact that she was no
-longer a child. Myra was saucy and clever, and rather impertinent, and
-considered a wit in her own family. Indeed they all had been accustomed
-to laugh at Myra’s jokes, almost as long as they could recollect, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_275" id="page_275">{275}</a></span>
-there is nothing that establishes the reputation of a wit like this.
-Mrs. Witherington was alone in the ante-room, as I have said, when Lady
-Mary entered, followed by Edgar. She rose somewhat stiffly to meet her
-visitors, for she too being of the old school disapproved of Lady Mary,
-who was emphatically of the new school, and a leader of all innovations;
-though from the fact of being Lady Mary, she was judged more leniently
-than a less distinguished revolutionary would have been. Mrs.
-Witherington made her greetings sufficiently loud to call the attention
-of all the daughters, who came in a little crowd, each rising from her
-corner to hail the great lady. One of them drew the cosiest chair near
-the fire for her, another gave her an embroidered hand-screen to shield
-her face from its glow, and the third hung about her in silent
-admiration, eagerly looking for some similar service to render. Myra
-followed last of all, rushing audibly downstairs, and bursting into the
-room with eager exclamations of pleasure.</p>
-
-<p>“I saw the pony-carriage at the Rectory gate, and I hoped you were
-coming here,” cried Myra; who stopped short suddenly, however, and
-blushed and laughed at sight of the stranger whom she had not perceived.</p>
-
-<p>“This is Mr. Earnshaw, Myra,” said Lady Mary, “whom I told you of&mdash;who
-is going to be so good as to teach us. I am taking him to see some of
-the ladies whom he is to help to educate.”</p>
-
-<p>“Please don’t convey a false impression,” said Edgar. “You are all a
-hundred times better edu<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_276" id="page_276">{276}</a></span>cated than I am. I don’t make any such
-pretensions.”</p>
-
-<p>“We are not educated at all,” said Sissy Witherington, folding her
-hands, with a soft sigh. She said it because Lady Mary said it, and
-because soft sighs were the natural expression of a young heart
-blighted; but I don’t think she would have liked to hear the same
-sentiment from any one else.</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, I think it is extremely disagreeable of you all to say so,”
-said Mrs. Witherington, “and a reflection on your parents, who did the
-very best they could for you. I am sure your education, which you
-despise so, cost quite as much, at least for the last year or two, as
-the boys’ did. I beg your pardon, Lady Mary&mdash;but I do think it is a
-little hard upon the older people, all these fine ideas that are being
-put into the girls’ heads.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, dear Mrs. Witherington, how could you help it?” said the rebel
-chief. “The very idea of educating women is a modern invention; nobody
-so much as thought of it in the last generation. Women have never been
-educated. My mother thought exactly the same as you do. There was
-absolutely <i>no</i> education for women in her day.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said Mrs. Witherington, more erect than ever, “I had an idea
-once that I myself was an educated person, and I daresay so had the
-countess&mdash;till my children taught me better.”</p>
-
-<p>“I declare it is hard on mamma,” cried Myra; “the only one among us who
-can write a decent hand, or do anything that’s useful.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_277" id="page_277">{277}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course nobody means that,” said Lady Mary. “What I say is that every
-generation ought to improve and make progress, if there is to be any
-amelioration in the world at all; and as, fortunately, there has sprung
-up in our day an increased perception of the advantages of education&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here Emma’s sewing-machine came to a little knot, and there was a sharp
-click, and the thread broke. “Oh, that comes of talking!” said Emma, as
-she set herself to pull out the ravelled thread and set it right again.
-She was not accustomed to take much share in the conversation, and this
-was her sole contribution to it while the visitors remained.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, a sewing-machine is a wonderful invention,” said Mrs.
-Witherington; “don’t you think so, Mr. Earnshaw? Not that I like the
-work much myself. It is always coarse and rough on the wrong side, and
-you can’t use it for fine things, such as baby’s things, for instance;
-but certainly the number of tucks and flounces that you can allow
-yourself, knowing that the machine will do dozens in a day, is
-extraordinary. And in a house where there are so many girls!&mdash;Emma does
-a great deal more with her machine, I am sure, than ever Penelope did,
-who was one of your classical friends, Lady Mary.”</p>
-
-<p>“And she can undo her work still more quickly,” cried Myra, with an
-outburst of laughter, “as it’s only chain-stitch. What a pity Penelope
-did not know of it.”</p>
-
-<p>“But then the question is,” said Sissy, “whether<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_278" id="page_278">{278}</a></span> we are so very much
-the better for having more tucks and flounces. (By the way, no one wears
-tucks now, mamma.) The good of a sewing machine is that it leaves one
-much more time for improving one’s mind.”</p>
-
-<p>“In my day,” said Mrs. Witherington, going on with her private argument,
-“we had our things all made of fine linen, instead of the cotton you
-wear now, and trimmed with real lace instead of the cheap imitation
-trash that everybody has. We had not so much ornament, but what there
-was, was good. My wedding things were all trimmed with real Mechlin
-<i>that</i> broad&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That must have been very charming,” said Lady Mary; “but in the
-meantime we must settle about our work. Mr. Earnshaw is willing to give
-us an hour on Tuesdays. Should you all come? You must not undertake it,
-if it will interfere with other work.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, I want to know German better,” said Sissy. “It would be very
-nice to be able to speak a little, especially if mamma goes abroad next
-summer as she promises. To know a language pretty well is so very
-useful.”</p>
-
-<p>Lady Mary made a little gesture of despair with her pretty hands. “Oh,
-my dear girls,” she said, “how are you ever to be thoroughly educated if
-you go on thinking only of what’s useful, and to speak a little German
-when you go abroad? What is wanted is to make you think&mdash;to train your
-minds into good methods of work&mdash;to improve you altogether mentally, and
-give you the exactness of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_279" id="page_279">{279}</a></span> properly cultivated intellects; just the
-thing that we women never have.”</p>
-
-<p>Myra was the only one who had courage enough to reply, which she did
-with such a good hearty ringing peal of laughter as betrayed Edgar out
-of the gravity becoming the situation. Myra thought Lady Mary’s address
-the best joke in the world.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_280" id="page_280">{280}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXI" id="CHAPTER_XXI"></a>CHAPTER XXI.<br /><br />
-<small>Wisdom and Foolishness.</small></h2>
-
-<p>“It is astonishing,” said Lady Mary, mournfully, “how entirely one is
-misunderstood in all one’s deeper meanings&mdash;even by those one has, so to
-speak, trained one’s self.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Edgar, hesitating, with the modesty that became his humble
-pretensions; “but, after all, to desire a piece of knowledge because it
-is useful, is not an unworthy sentiment.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, not at all an unworthy sentiment; indeed, very right in its
-way; but totally subversive,” said Lady Mary, sadly, “of the highest
-principle of education, which aims at thorough cultivation of the mind
-rather than at conferring certain commonplace matter-of-fact
-acquirements. Considered in that point of view, professional education
-would be the highest, which I don’t think it is. Unless education is
-prized for itself, as a discipline of the mind, and not merely as
-teaching us some things we don’t know, we can never reach the highest
-level; and that truth, alas!” Lady Mary sighed, still more sadly, with
-all the disappointment of a baffled reformer, “women have not even begun
-to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_281" id="page_281">{281}</a></span> perceive. You laugh, Mr. Earnshaw, but, for my part, I cannot
-laugh.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar made the best apology he could for his untimely merriment. He was
-very much inclined to adopt the primitive Adamic argument, and declare
-that it was Myra’s fault; but either high principle, or terror of Lady
-Mary (I think the latter) intervened, and he refrained from thus
-committing himself. They walked along the sunny side of the Green
-together, the ponies having been sent home on account of the cold. It
-was a pretty place, like a village of romance, a succession of irregular
-houses surrounding a large triangular green, which was very green, and
-very well kept, and almost entirely appropriated to the gentry, though
-now and then a ragged donkey of the lower classes would graze peaceably
-in a corner, to the great advantage, pictorially, of the scene. Some of
-the houses were, like Mrs. Witherington’s, of Queen Anne’s time, not
-antique, but pleasantly old-fashioned and characteristic; others were
-white cottages, half hid in shrubberies. In one, which was very red, and
-very close upon the road, and had its rows of windows still more crowded
-than the others&mdash;a thin house, only one room in depth, with a very
-brightly polished brass knocker, and very white steps&mdash;there were signs
-of confusion which caught Lady Mary’s eye. She explained to Edgar that
-it was the doctor’s house, that he was going away, which was not much
-loss, as he was an old-fashioned man of the old school, and did not keep
-pace with the times; and that she trusted the new man, who was coming<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_282" id="page_282">{282}</a></span>
-from Scotland, would be better. Edgar listened politely, without paying
-much attention, for, in his ignorance, he did not feel much interest in
-the new doctor.</p>
-
-<p>“I must ask Miss Annetta about him,” said Lady Mary, as she led the way
-into a house which turned only its gable to the Green, and possessed a
-carriage drive and a wilderness of lofty shrubs. The cottage itself was
-damp and weedy, and rather dark, with blinds and curtains half drawn
-over the little windows, and a sort of dim religious light, green in
-tone, and very limited in degree, pervading the place. When Edgar’s eyes
-became accustomed to it, he saw that the little drawing-room was
-plastered over with corner cupboards, and velvet-covered shelves, and
-brackets, laden with old china and other curious things. The room was so
-crowded with these ornaments, and with old furniture, that it was
-scarcely possible to move without displacing something&mdash;a drawback which
-was all the more apparent, as both the Miss Bakers were large persons,
-many sizes too big for their house. They were not a well-matched pair.
-The eldest was a harsh-featured woman, looking fully forty-five, and
-calling herself so, with a total disregard to the feelings of Miss
-Annetta, who, all the world knew, was but two years younger. Miss Baker
-was clever, and the other was silly; but yet Miss Annetta was the most
-calculated to attract the attention of the sympathetic spectator, who
-could either laugh at her, or weep over her, as his nature prompted. She
-had no remnant of youth in the foolish face<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_283" id="page_283">{283}</a></span> that had once been pretty
-enough; but her entire development, mental and moral, seemed to have
-been arrested when she was about seventeen, at the age when croquet (if
-croquet existed&mdash;I am afraid it did not exist at so early a period) and
-new patterns for worsted work, and crochet, were the furthest limits of
-her desires. Poor soul! to look at her, she was forty-three, <i>bien
-sonnés</i>, but to listen to her soft little voice and its prattle, she was
-seventeen, not a day more. This curious fossilised girl was left to
-Edgar’s share in the heat of the conversation, which immediately ensued
-between Lady Mary and Miss Baker&mdash;who sympathised deeply on the
-educational question, and had a great deal to say to each other.</p>
-
-<p>After Edgar had been introduced as being “so good as to be disposed to
-help” in the great work, he was for the moment forgotten, while the two
-ladies talked of committees and schemes of lectures, and a great many
-things which he felt to be quite above his humble intelligence. Miss
-Annetta was exactly in the same position. The talk was a great deal too
-old and too serious for her. She sat silent for a minute or two, feeling
-somewhat coy of addressing that wonder and mystery, “a gentleman,”
-giving him little looks, half-saucy, half-timid, and betraying an
-inclination to go off into giggles of laughter, which filled Edgar with
-the gravest surprise. Finally, she made a bold step, and addressed him,
-giving the curls which she wore on each side of her face a little shake
-and toss of conscious attractiveness before she began.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_284" id="page_284">{284}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“You have not been long in the neighbourhood, Mr. Earnshaw? Do say you
-like it. Dear Lady Mary makes Tottenham so charming, <i>so</i> charming! It
-is such an acquisition having her. Have you had nice skating lately? I
-hear some of the young ladies from the Green have been at the pond. I
-have not gone yet myself, for I don’t skate, though everybody does
-now-a-days. They tell me I should learn directly if I only had the
-courage to try; but I am such a little coward, I really daren’t venture.
-Of course you will laugh at me; but I dare not. I really haven’t the
-courage.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am not at all surprised that you have not the courage,” said Edgar,
-looking at her smiling face, and much disturbed in his mind as to what
-to say. “One must make up one’s mind to a good many tumbles; which are
-all very well for boys and girls&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I shouldn’t like that,” cried Miss Annetta; “children, as you say,
-don’t mind. What a pity you did not come in the summer, Mr. Earnshaw. It
-is such a sociable neighbourhood. We had a garden party somewhere, at
-least twice a week, and they are such nice things for bringing young
-people together&mdash;don’t you think so? Better than evening parties; you
-can see so much more of people, going at four or five o’clock&mdash;and if
-you’re intimate, staying for high tea and a little music after. It is a
-delightful way of spending the day. There is nothing can take the same
-place in winter. To be sure if a girl is bold and knows how to
-skate<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_285" id="page_285">{285}</a></span>&mdash;but I really daren’t try, I haven’t the courage;&mdash;and you don’t
-give me much encouragement, Mr. Earnshaw, it must be allowed.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar looked on in dismay while Miss Annetta shook her curls at him, and
-giggled as she had done when she was pretty and seventeen, just
-twenty-six years ago. What could he say? He was trying to find something
-polite and pleasant with which to carry on the conversation, when Lady
-Mary suddenly turned from her grave interview with the elder sister, and
-interfered for his salvation.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Annetta,” said Lady Mary, suddenly, “I am sure I can get
-information from you about the doctor. Has he gone? and has the new one
-come? and who is he? I hope he is not a mere stupid country
-practitioner. I saw a great commotion at the house.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, poor Mrs. Franks,” said Miss Annetta, “they were just preparing to
-go; but she, poor thing, though I don’t like to speak of such things
-before gentlemen, went and had a baby this morning. It has put them all
-out so dreadfully! and she had nothing ready, not so much as a little
-cap. Just like her, you will say; and of course they can’t go away now
-for ever so long.”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor soul,” said Lady Mary, “I must send and ask if we can do
-anything.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, I think it wicked to encourage such people,” said Miss Baker.
-“How dare she go on having babies, knowing she can’t afford it? I have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_286" id="page_286">{286}</a></span>
-no pity for such a woman. Of course she brings it all on herself; and if
-she were the only one to suffer, I shouldn’t mind. But just fancy a
-woman of my age, subject to bronchitis, left to the tender mercies of
-her ninny of a husband, probably for six weeks longer, just the worst
-time of the year&mdash;not to speak of Annetta, who is a perfect martyr to
-rheumatism.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Jane!” exclaimed Miss Annetta, feebly.</p>
-
-<p>“Though I think it’s gout,” said Miss Baker. “When gout is in a family,
-I believe it never lets you go much beyond forty without entering an
-appearance; which is my great reason for hoping I shall escape
-scot-free, seeing I’m forty-five.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must not believe all my sister says; she is so fond of her fun,”
-said Miss Annetta, in an aside to Edgar. “Oh, I have heard a great deal
-about the new doctor, Lady Mary. He is quite young, and very handsome
-and nice, people say. He is coming straight from Scotland, so I suppose
-he must be very clever, for so many new medical things are found out
-there. I hear he has dark hair and eyes, and tall, and a very nice
-manner.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well I suppose these are interesting details,” said Lady Mary; “but I
-should have liked to know a little more of his qualifications, I
-confess.”</p>
-
-<p>“And he has a charming sister, a widow, who keeps his house; so that he
-will be able to ask people, which a bachelor never is, except men, and
-they don’t count as society;” cried Miss Annetta, continuing with
-breathless haste her report; for if<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_287" id="page_287">{287}</a></span> Lady Mary had a fault, it was that
-she was too ready to interrupt uninteresting speeches. “The Franks are
-so poor, and they have so many children, they never were any good, not
-even for a garden party; but you must not think from what I say that I
-don’t love children, Mr. Earnshaw. I adore them! When are Phil and
-little Mary coming for a romp, and to see all our curiosities? I do feel
-so much at home with them, Lady Mary, you can’t think. Jane there says
-we are three romps all together, and she doesn’t know which is the
-worst.”</p>
-
-<p>“They will be delighted to come,” said Lady Mary, rising.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, but I suppose I must ask permission of Mr. Earnshaw now?” said Miss
-Annetta. “If you will come too, you will see that your charge does not
-get into mischief, Mr. Earnshaw, and I am sure you will be quite an
-addition. You are not one of the stern tutors that frighten poor little
-things like me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed I must carry Mr. Earnshaw off. We have no time to spare,” said
-Lady Mary. “Little fool!” she cried, severely, as soon as they had left
-the cottage. “I hope you don’t mind her impertinent chatter? I am sure
-nothing could be further from my intention than to subject you to any
-such disagreeable comment.”</p>
-
-<p>“Disagreeable! to call me what I am, Phil’s tutor?” said Edgar. “Why,
-what a mean-spirited wretch you must think me. To accept a post, and be
-ashamed of the name of it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_288" id="page_288">{288}</a></span>&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But, Mr. Earnshaw, you know that is not how we think. We consider you
-only as a friend&mdash;and take it as the greatest kindness you can do us.”
-Then Lady Mary, with a flush of generous sentiment, took a warm little
-hand out of her muff, and gave it to Edgar, who was a great deal more
-touched by the <i>amende</i> than he had been hurt by Miss Annetta’s innocent
-assault.</p>
-
-<p>“Thanks,” he said, with moisture in his eyes, “so much the better for
-me, and so much the less reason for being ashamed of my post. If you
-snubbed me, I might have some excuse perhaps for making a fool of
-myself.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw!” said Lady Mary again, but this time with hesitation, and
-almost timidity. “I wonder if you will think I mean to snub you&mdash;if I
-say something which I am almost bound to say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Say it!” said Edgar, smiling. He felt in a moment that he knew what was
-coming, and looked into her tremulous countenance with all the superior
-calm of a man prepared for pain, and prescient of what was to come.</p>
-
-<p>“You will not be angry? Oh, Mr. Earnshaw! if you only knew how I fret at
-such restrictions&mdash;how I wish we could put aside mercenary
-considerations, and acknowledge ourselves all to be equal, as I am sure
-we are by nature!”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t think we are equal by nature,” said Edgar; “but never mind the
-abstract question. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_289" id="page_289">{289}</a></span> promise not even to be wounded. And I think I know
-what you are going to say.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is just this,” said Lady Mary, hurriedly, “Forgive me! The young
-Thornleighs, Mr. Earnshaw, have always been very much with us. I am fond
-of them, and so is Mr. Tottenham, and they are always coming and going.
-It would be ungenerous to you as well as unkind to them, if we were to
-send them away because you are here.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar did no more than bow in assent. A certain sense of personal
-dignity, quite new to him, kept him from doing more.</p>
-
-<p>“It would be thoroughly ungenerous to you,” said Lady Mary, warmly, “and
-contrary to the perfect trust we feel&mdash;both my husband and I&mdash;in you,
-our friend.”</p>
-
-<p>“Just one word, Lady Mary,” said Edgar, “and pardon me if it seems
-harsh. Why did you not think of this before? I came here in a mist, not
-knowing very well what was to happen to me; but <i>you</i> knew the whole,
-both my side and the other. I need not say send me away, which is the
-most natural thing to do, for you were aware of all the circumstances
-the other day when you brought me here. Of course, at any moment, I am
-ready to go.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is not quite generous,” said Lady Mary, with an appealing look,
-“of course we knew, and trusted you as we trust you now&mdash;fully. But, Mr.
-Earnshaw, forgive me! I promised to Augusta to say just one word.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_290" id="page_290">{290}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“I have already said to Lady Augusta all that can be said,” said Edgar;
-“that she need not fear me&mdash;that I will not put myself in her way.”</p>
-
-<p>They had, by this time, reached the avenue, and were walking
-unconsciously fast in the roused state of feeling which this interview
-had called forth, between the long level lines of leafless trees, on the
-edge of the sodden, bright green wintry grass, which tempted the feet
-with its mossy softness. It was afternoon, and the long slanting lines
-of sunshine lighted up, but scarcely had the better of, the creeping
-shadows which bided their time in every corner. Lady Mary put out her
-hand again suddenly, with an excitement which she did not seem able to
-control, and laid it on Edgar’s arm.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw!” she said, the tears coming to her eyes. “It is not for
-you. Augusta, like myself, trusts you entirely; it is not you.”</p>
-
-<p>“What then?” said Edgar, suddenly stopping short, and facing her.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw! Oh! how can I put into words the strange service&mdash;the
-thing beyond words, which Augusta thinks she can trust you enough to ask
-for. Oh! Mr. Earnshaw, see how absolute is our faith in you! It is not
-you she fears. It is the impetuosity&mdash;it is the&mdash;&mdash;it is her own
-child.”</p>
-
-<p>Edgar stood still, and did not speak&mdash;how could he? In his life he had
-had enough to chill him one way or another; now, all at once, there
-seemed to burst forth a fountain of warmth and life within<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_291" id="page_291">{291}</a></span> him&mdash;in his
-very heart. The water came to his eyes. If he had been alone I believe
-it would have overflowed, so poignant was the touch of this sudden,
-scarcely comprehensible happiness. “Ah!” he cried, summing up in that
-little syllable, as is done so often, worlds of sudden understanding, of
-emotion inexpressible in words; and so stood gazing at the unlucky
-emissary, who had put things inconceivable, things unbelievable, all at
-once into his throbbing brain.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, God forgive me!” cried Lady Mary, with a devoutness quite unusual
-to her. “What have I done&mdash;what have I done?”</p>
-
-<p>“Look here,” said Edgar, feeling a strange difficulty of articulation,
-and with a consciousness that, instead of being eloquent, as he ought to
-have been in the circumstances, his words were homely, almost rude; “So
-far as I am myself concerned, nothing will make me swerve from my word.
-Lady Augusta need have no fear for me; but if&mdash;” and here he paused, “if
-the happiness of another were any way involved. It is not my
-supposition, pardon me, it is yours. If&mdash;&mdash;then I will be bound by no
-word, no promise, nothing but&mdash;<i>her</i> will whatever it is. I am ready to
-balk myself, to give up the desire of my heart, to say never a word, so
-far as I am concerned. But her I will not balk; it is not my place.
-<i>Her</i> will she shall have if I can get it for her&mdash;at any risk, with any
-pains! Lady Mary, bid me go, or take the consequences; this is all I
-will say.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_292" id="page_292">{292}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Mr. Earnshaw!” cried Lady Mary, in a burst of injudicious sympathy.
-“Oh, Edgar! now I understand them;” and with that, this very foolish,
-very clever, little woman sat down upon the stump of a tree, and cried
-with all her heart. She was totally taken by surprise. She had believed
-him to be so good, so ready to obliterate himself, that she half
-despised him through all her generous compassion and liking. I think it
-is Mr. Charles Reade who describes, somewhat coarsely perhaps, but very
-powerfully, the woman’s surprise at discovering herself to be, for the
-first time, face to face with a male of her own species. The surprise, I
-believe, is common to both sexes, and as much when love is out of the
-question as when it is deeply involved. It is one of the most
-penetrating of mental sensations&mdash;a sudden revelation. Lady Mary felt
-this as she sat down on the stump of the tree, and called Edgar Earnshaw
-by his Christian name, and cried, suddenly abandoning her colours,
-giving up her cause, owning herself utterly conquered. It was a great
-deal to be accomplished by so few words, and Edgar himself was so
-entirely moved and shaken by what had occurred, that he was not half
-sensible of his own success. All he knew was that Lady Mary felt for
-him, understood him; and this gave him comfort, when he suddenly dropped
-down after the exaltation of his sudden transport into a sadness which
-was its natural consequence. Lady Mary fell too, out of her sudden
-enthusiasm into a sense of absolute foolishness and the indiscreetest of
-sympathetic ebullitions, and picked<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_293" id="page_293">{293}</a></span> herself up and went meekly along
-the avenue by Edgar’s side, trying to talk about the children, and
-raking up nursery stories of Phil’s cleverness to tell him, in what she
-would herself have thought the very imbecility of motherhood. Poor Lady
-Mary! she had the additional misery of thinking that Edgar perceived her
-utter downfall and change of sides&mdash;which he, poor fellow, with his
-heart jumping in his throat, was far too much agitated to do.</p>
-
-<p>But when they came to the great door, and were about to separate, she
-“thought it her duty” to leave him with a final word of counsel, “Mr.
-Earnshaw,” she said, almost timidly, “you saw that I was carried away by
-my feelings&mdash;for I feel for you, however I may be obliged to side with
-my sister in what she thinks to be best. You will forget all I have been
-so foolish as to say&mdash;and keep to what you said to her, won’t you? Don’t
-let me have done harm instead of good.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will keep to what I said to her, religiously; she has my word,” said
-Edgar, “but don’t think I can ever forget what you have said to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Earnshaw, it was in confidence.”</p>
-
-<p>“In closest, dearest confidence,” he said, “but not to be
-forgotten&mdash;never to be forgotten; that is not possible. It will be wiser
-to tell Lady Augusta what I have said; and remember, dear Lady Mary,
-you, who have been so good to me, that, at a moment’s notice, at a word,
-at a look, I am ready to go away.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not if I can help it,” she said, half crying again, holding out her
-hand; and in sight of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_294" id="page_294">{294}</a></span> biggest of the powdered footmen, and of the
-porter, and of one of the under-gardeners, all looking on in
-consternation, he kissed it, absolutely indifferent to what any one
-might say. To be sure it was only a little glove he kissed, warm out of
-her muff.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_295" id="page_295">{295}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXII" id="CHAPTER_XXII"></a>CHAPTER XXII.<br /><br />
-<small>The Opposite Camp.</small></h2>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Thornleigh family, or at least the feminine portion of it, was, as
-has been indicated to the reader, in town&mdash;though it was still very
-early in the year&mdash;for the purpose of looking after little Mary’s
-trousseau, as her wedding was to take place at Easter. Lady Augusta’s
-family numbered eight altogether&mdash;five girls and three boys; and if I
-could tell you half the trouble she had gone through with them, you
-would no longer wonder at the wrinkles on her forehead. Her girls had
-been as troublesome as her boys, which seldom happens, and that was
-saying a great deal. Harry, the eldest son, was a prodigal, constantly
-in debt and in trouble; John, the second, who, it was hoped, would have
-distinguished himself by his brains, had been plucked for his degree;
-and the regiment of which Reginald, the youngest son, was an ornament,
-had been sent off to India, contrary to all prognostications. As for the
-daughters, though the youngest was nineteen, only one was married&mdash;a
-terrible thought for an anxious mother, as anxious to do her duty<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_296" id="page_296">{296}</a></span> by
-her children as Lady Augusta was&mdash;and that one!</p>
-
-<p>The eldest was Ada, who, when her lover, only a poor clergyman at the
-best, died of typhus fever, caught in his work, never would look at
-another man, but retired meekly into old maidenhood. The second, Helena,
-was the clever one of the family. She had more brains than all the rest
-put together, everybody said, and so indeed she herself thought&mdash;more
-than she knew what to do with. If that head could only have been put on
-her brother John’s shoulders, what a blessing to everyone concerned!
-for, alas! all the good her brains did her, was to betray her into a
-marriage with a very clever and very learned professor, painfully
-superior to everybody else, but altogether out of “her own class.” The
-third was Gussy, who had been always Lady Augusta’s most dearly beloved,
-and who, three years ago, had been all but betrothed to the best match
-in the county&mdash;young Edgar Arden; but when Edgar was ruined, and
-disappeared, as it were, off the face of the earth, Gussy, instead of
-abandoning him as a sensible girl should have done, clung with the
-obstinacy which distinguished the Thornleighs, to the very recollection
-of him&mdash;which, as he was still living and marriageable, though no match
-at all, was a fanaticism much less manageable than Ada’s. For Ada, if
-she insisted upon considering herself a widow, was at all events quite
-submissive in other matters, and content to be her mother’s right hand
-at home; but Gussy, who had by no means given up her personal
-pos<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_297" id="page_297">{297}</a></span>sibilities of happiness, and whose hopes were still alive, had been
-very restless, and worried her family with many vagaries. Schemes and
-crotchets ran, I suppose, in the noble blood which Lady Augusta had
-transmitted to her daughters. It showed itself in different ways in the
-sisters: Helena’s ways had been all intellectual, but Gussy, who was
-benevolent and religious, was more difficult to deal with. The
-melancholy seclusion, which to an English mind is the first
-characteristic of a convent, has little to do with the busy beehive of a
-modern sisterhood; and a young woman connected with such an institution
-has claims made upon her which are wonderfully embarrassing to a
-fashionable mother. Helena, in her wildest days, when she had all sorts
-of committees going on, could be taken to her meetings and lectures in
-the carriage, like a Christian, and could be sent for when these
-<i>séances</i> were over; but Gussy had to trudge off on foot to all sorts of
-places in her long black cloak, and to visit houses in which fever, and
-every kind of evil, physical and moral, abounded; and was not to be
-shaken by any remonstrances. Indeed, the parents had been glad to
-compromise and consent to any amount of Associateship, so as to keep off
-the dreaded possibility of a determination on Gussy’s part to enter the
-Sisterhood for good and all. I do not think that Gussy herself ever
-threatened this, though she thought of it sometimes as her best
-alternative, if&mdash;; but there was still an if, a living and strong
-peradventure in her mind. Other good-natured friends, however, strongly
-pressed the possibility on Lady<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_298" id="page_298">{298}</a></span> Augusta’s mind; they did all they could
-to persuade the anxious mother to take forcible steps in the matter, and
-constrain Gussy, on her obedience, to give up her objectionable
-charities and devotions. Fortunately Lady Augusta did not belong to that
-class of women who take pleasure in worrying their children for their
-good. She shook her head when her pretty daughter, still as pretty as in
-her first season, went out in her black cloak, and the hideous bonnet,
-which the mother would not allow to herself was “becoming,”
-notwithstanding its intrinsic hideousness. She moaned over the dirt, the
-disease, the evil smells and sights which her child was about to
-encounter, and about the risk of infection to which she would expose
-herself.</p>
-
-<p>“Who can tell what you may bring back with you, Gussy?&mdash;fever, or one
-does not know what,” Lady Augusta said, piteously. “It is so different
-with our poor people at home, whom we all know.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will shut myself up in my room, mamma; or I will go to the House,
-when there is anything infectious about; but I cannot give up my work,”
-said Gussy, filial, but determined.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, work, child! what do you mean by work?” cried Lady Augusta, driven
-to her wits’ end. “Home is surely better than the ‘House,’ as you call
-it, and I am sure Ada and I find plenty to do at home. Why cannot you do
-as we do?”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps because Ada and you do it all,” said Gussy, unmoved by that
-despairing appeal which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_299" id="page_299">{299}</a></span> the old is always making to the new. Why cannot
-you do as we do?</p>
-
-<p>Poor Lady Augusta! It was she who had to give in, not her daughter. And
-you may easily understand, dear reader, how such a good mother was
-affected by the break-down of all her elder hopes&mdash;Ada, Helena, Gussy.
-Her three eldest children&mdash;all failures! What a heart-breaking thought
-it was to a woman of fashion, surrounded by contemporaries who had
-married their daughters well, and whom no man could reproach as
-negligent of their highest duties! She would wake sometimes in the
-middle of the night, and ask herself was it her fault? Had she put
-foolish notions into the heads of the girls? Certainly on the Thornleigh
-side there were no “views” nor “crotchets;” and Lady Augusta was aware
-that she herself had accomplished her own fate, not altogether because
-she preferred it, and had, perhaps, smothered personal predilections,
-which her children showed no inclination to smother. “Why cannot they do
-as I did?” she would say in her heart, with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>But now at last a moment had come, in which her natural cares were
-rewarded. When Lord Granton proposed for Mary, her mother had almost
-cried with joy. For the first time here was a satisfactory&mdash;a completely
-satisfactory conclusion. So unexceptionable a young man, such a title,
-such estates, and a family which any girl might be proud to enter! The
-delight was all the sweeter from being so long deferred, so sadly
-missed. She forgave Helena her bad match, and Gussy and Ada<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_300" id="page_300">{300}</a></span> their no
-matches at all, in the exhilaration of this happy moment. All her little
-grievances and grudges vanished in the sudden flood of sunshine. She was
-reconciled to all the world, even to Helena’s husband, the Professor,
-over whom, too, a heavenly radiance would be flung, when he was
-brother-in-law to a marquis. Poor Lady Augusta! In the full height of
-her exhilaration she betook herself to Tottenham’s to send the good news
-to her sister, feeling that now at least, perhaps for the first time,
-there was no trouble to lessen her happiness; and there she encountered,
-without any warning, Edgar! Heaven help her! a man still more
-objectionable, because more hopelessly penniless than Helena’s
-professor, a man without a name, without a shilling, without a
-connection! but whom Gussy, her favourite daughter, was ready, she knew,
-to follow to the end of the world. When she drove out to the rural
-Tottenham’s after this, to tell her sister the story of Mary’s
-engagement, is it wonderful that her agitated mind should have poured
-forth all its mingled strain of joy, tribulation, content, and alarm?
-The wholly joyful part of her budget was soon swallowed up in the
-revelation of her fears about Gussy, and in the reproaches she could not
-quite restrain. Why had her sister so added to her burdens, by this
-injudicious, this uncalled-for interference in Edgar’s fortunes? He was
-not so friendless, Lady Augusta protested, half indignant, half weeping,
-that they, of all the world, should have rushed into the breach, and
-taken him up&mdash;bringing him even into their house, where he could not
-fail to see Gussy one<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_301" id="page_301">{301}</a></span> time or other. And then the anxious mother cried,
-and told her sister that she had no confidence in Gussy. In Edgar she
-had every confidence; he had promised never to thrust himself into her
-way; but Gussy had made no such promise, and her mother did not even
-dare to speak to her on the subject, knowing that she would be met by
-unanswerable arguments. Thus the two ladies, talking over the whole
-matter, fell into a not unnatural snare, and resolved to confide in
-Edgar, and trust to him to keep Gussy, as well as himself, right&mdash;not
-foreseeing how that confidence would change to him the whole aspect of
-affairs. When Ada heard how far her mother’s revelations had gone, and
-of the step Lady Mary was commissioned to take, she did not give it her
-approval, as Lady Augusta had hoped, but looked very grave, and doubted
-much the wisdom of the proceeding. “He promised never to stand in my
-way,” Lady Augusta said, much depressed by her privy-councillor’s
-disapproval. “But he did not promise for Gussy&mdash;what right would he have
-to undertake for Gussy?” said Ada, shaking her head. It was an idea
-which had not entered her mother’s mind, for Lady Augusta had that kind
-of confidence in Edgar, as of a man born to set everything right, which
-women, especially when surrounded by practical difficulties, are so
-ready to place in an ideal man. He had never objected to her commands
-hitherto; why should he now? Nevertheless, when Ada disappeared, Lady
-Augusta began to quake lest she should have done more harm than good.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_302" id="page_302">{302}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“We must try to get something for him to do,” she said, faltering,
-“something abroad. Notwithstanding all those absurd new arrangements,
-people of influence can still command situations abroad, I hope, if they
-choose to take the trouble. I shall speak to Lord Millboard, Ada; and I
-am sure Granton, dear fellow, would take any trouble, if he knew how
-important it was.”</p>
-
-<p>“Because he is happy himself, to prevent poor Gussy from being happy?”
-said Ada. “Oh, I am not saying anything against it, mamma. I suppose it
-will have to be.”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course it will have to be,” said her mother, “you are all very
-unkind&mdash;you girls. Not one of you has exerted herself as I had a right
-to expect. Do you think that I thought of nothing but pleasing myself
-when I married? And who has lost the most in losing Edgar? Well, Gussy,
-you may say, in one way; but I too. What a help he would have been to
-me! so kind and so understanding. Oh, Ada! if you knew how much it goes
-against my heart to shut him out. But it must be; what would your
-father&mdash;what would every one say?”</p>
-
-<p>To this, Ada could return but little answer, except to murmur something
-about “leaving it in the hands of Providence,” which was not so
-consolatory to Lady Augusta as it was meant to be.</p>
-
-<p>“It is all very well to say, leave it to Providence!” cried that much
-tried mother, “if you had lived as long as I have, Ada, you would have
-found that all the most inconvenient things that happen in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_303" id="page_303">{303}</a></span> world
-are said to be brought about by Providence&mdash;especially in the way of
-marriages. No, we must take precautions; Gussy must not go near
-Tottenham’s while he is there; and I’ll tell you what I will do. Harry
-is at home doing nothing particular, and probably quarrelling with your
-poor papa, who has so much to vex him. I have just been wondering how
-they could possibly get on with all of us away. I will write and tell
-him to offer himself to your aunt Mary for a visit.”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry! what good will Harry do?” asked Ada, wondering.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, my dear, at least he will be on the spot,” said Lady Augusta; and
-she breathed a long sigh, as if a weight had been taken off her mind.
-Any stop-gap, however imperfect, which takes, or seems to take, a
-responsibility off the mind, is enough to give a sense of relief to one
-so overborne by many businesses as Lady Augusta was. “And now, my dear,
-let us look over Mary’s patterns,” she said, drawing a chair towards
-Ada’s table, on which a mass of samples, of linen, silk, muslin, and
-every other fabric, known to human ingenuity, were lying, ticketed and
-arranged in packets. This was a little bit of pure enjoyment, which
-refreshed the anxious mother in the midst of all her cares.</p>
-
-<p>I need not tell what commotion was made in the household when the news
-crept out and stole secretly from one girl to another, that Edgar had
-come back. Mary and Beatrice put their curly heads together over it, and
-the result was a communication to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_304" id="page_304">{304}</a></span> young Granton, which effectually
-fortified him against making himself a tool of any of poor Lady
-Augusta’s schemings to get rid of the danger. These two were the
-children of the house, and the elder sisters paid but little attention
-to their innocent conspiracies. The elders were more interesting
-personages than little Mary and Bee, though Mary was a predestined
-marchioness, and there was no knowing what Bee might come to in the way
-of matrimonial elevation. There are people, no doubt, who will think the
-old maid of the family its least interesting member; but you, dear
-unknown friend, my gentle reader, are not of that complexion; and there
-may be others who will feel that Ada’s obscure life was a poor enough
-thing to settle down to, after all the hopes and all the disappointments
-of youth, both of which are more exciting and sustaining than the simple
-monotony of such a commonplace existence. I am not sure, however, for my
-own part, whether Ada’s soft self-renunciation never expressed in words,
-and her constant readiness in trouble, and the numberless frocks she
-made for her poor children&mdash;and even her mother’s meetings, though the
-family laughed at them&mdash;were half so bewildering an anti-climax to the
-high aspirations of youth as was Helena’s Professor, and the somewhat
-humdrum, if highly intellectual routine into which she had dropped with
-him. Helena, herself now and then, had a confused and giddy
-consciousness that ministering to a man’s comforts, who was not at all a
-demi-god, and attending lectures at the Royal Society was a very odd and
-sudden downfall from all her dreams of social<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_305" id="page_305">{305}</a></span> amelioration and “a great
-work;” but fortunately she was happy, a thing which deadens the moral
-perception. Ada was happy, too, in her different way; but Gussy was not
-happy. She had not the tranquil soul of her elder sister, nor that
-curious mixture of sense and talent, and self-confidence and absence of
-humour which made Helena what she was. She had not “given up,” as in
-various ways both of them had done. She was dissatisfied, for life as
-yet had lost none of its possibilities, neither by fulfilment nor
-renunciation. All clouds might yet be cleared away from her sky, and
-what she considered perfect happiness might yet be waiting for her
-somewhere. This remnant of possibility that the soul may still have all
-it craves, ought, you might think, to have kept Gussy’s heart alive, and
-given her a secret support; but it was in fact a very fire of
-restlessness within her. The first step towards attaining the secondary
-happinesses of life, is to have given up and recognised as impossible
-the primary and greater happiness. Gussy had been compelled to occupy
-herself closely, in order to save herself from becoming discontented,
-morbid, sour, and miserable, by reason of this sense within her, that
-everything might yet come right.</p>
-
-<p>“Why should you say it was injudicious?” she said to her sister, when
-they at length discussed the subject, “why should not they help him,
-since he wants it, because of the chance of meeting me? I heard what
-mamma said as I came in. If he does meet me, I dare say he has forgotten
-all about me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_306" id="page_306">{306}</a></span> by this time, or at least remembers me only as a friend.
-It would be hard indeed if any ghost of me, after all these years, were
-to come in his way.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you,” said her sister, “could you meet him as a friend whom you
-remembered? Would that be all?”</p>
-
-<p>Gussy’s lip quivered in spite of herself. “I hope I could do&mdash;whatever
-was necessary,” she said proudly. But in the midst of uttering these two
-or three words, a sudden tear fell unexpectedly out of her eye and
-betrayed her. “How silly!” she said, dashing it away; “you forget I did
-see him. Oh, Ada, fancy travelling with him all those hours, and never
-saying a word! It was as if we were in two different worlds&mdash;like
-looking into another existence, and seeing those whom one has lost,
-without any power to communicate with them.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! but we are not permitted to do even that,” said Ada; “do you think
-he did not recognise you? Not at all? That is so strange to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Gussy shook her head. “I don’t think he did; but you must remember,” she
-said humbly, “that he never was what you might call so very much in love
-with me. He liked me; he was even fond of me&mdash;but not exactly in love.
-It is different&mdash;I always felt that, even when you all made so sure. And
-what he thinks of me now, I don’t know. If I saw him once, I should be
-able to tell you; but I shall try not to see him. It is best I should
-not see him,” said Gussy very low, “best in every way.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_307" id="page_307">{307}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“My poor child!” said Ada; but she did not contradict her, as her sister
-almost hoped; and Gussy went away immediately after, with her heart
-full, to put on her black cloak and close bonnet, and to go forth into
-some very unsavoury region indeed, where a serene Sister, so smiling and
-cheery that you might be certain her mind was taken up by no possible
-happiness, was hard at work. Gussy had some very disagreeable work
-allotted to her which gave her full occupation till it was time to
-return to “the world,” and as long as she was thus engaged she was able
-to forget all about herself and Edgar, and everything else in the other
-existence. Thus Rag Fair was good for her, and gave her a certain amount
-of strength with which to return to Berkeley Square.</p>
-
-<p>But the reader will perceive that if Edgar’s mind was disturbed by what
-he had heard, a similar, if less violent commotion had been raised, by
-the mere intimation of his return, in the opposite camp, where every
-member of the family instinctively felt the danger, though the young and
-the romantic among them welcomed it as rather an advantage than a peril.
-Gussy went about her ordinary work, whether in “the world” or out of it,
-with a soft perpetual tremor, feeling that at any moment, round any
-corner, she might meet him with whom her youthful thoughts had wandered
-all these years. I will not say that she was not somewhat anxious and
-uncertain as to the effect which this long interval might have had upon
-Edgar’s mind; for women seldom have a very strong faith, unassisted by
-evi<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_308" id="page_308">{308}</a></span>dence, in the fidelity of a long absent lover; but she had no sense
-of having given love unsought, or shame in her own secret devotion. She
-knew that if Edgar had remained rich and prosperous she would have been
-his wife long ere now, and this gave to Gussy’s maiden love that sweet
-legitimacy and pride of duty which is so much to a woman, and emboldens
-her to give without shame, and with all her heart.</p>
-
-<p>In the meantime, however, Lady Augusta took that other precautionary
-measure which had suddenly occurred to her, to Ada’s great surprise and
-consternation, and sent private orders to her son, Harry&mdash;who was at
-that moment under a cloud, and doing his best to act the part of a good
-son to a very irritable father who had just paid his debts for him, and
-was taking them out in abuse of every description at Thornleigh, while
-the mother and sisters were in town. I don’t believe she had the least
-notion what good Harry could do; but it relieved him from a very trying
-ordeal, and the young man jumped at it, though Ada shook her head. “He
-will be on the spot at least, my dear,” said Lady Augusta, all
-unconscious of slang. She explained to her husband that the Tottenhams
-had taken one of their fancies to Mr. Earnshaw, whom they had all once
-known so well as Edgar Arden, and that she thought it would be well that
-one of the family should be there to keep an eye upon him, lest he and
-Gussy should meet. “For you know, Gussy has not been the same since that
-affair,” wrote the careful mother. Mr. Thornleigh,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_309" id="page_309">{309}</a></span> who had a more than
-ordinary contempt at this moment for Harry’s capabilities, wrote her a
-rather rude letter in reply, telling her that she was a fool indeed if
-she trusted in anything her hopeful son could do; but nevertheless, he
-made no objection to the visit. Thus it will be seen how emphatically
-their own doing was all the confusion that followed this momentous step,
-which the Thornleighs all combined in their ignorance to make Harry
-take&mdash;and which he accepted as he would have accepted any change, at
-that moment; not having the least idea of what was wanted of him, any
-more than of what fate had in store for him. Lady Augusta went on more
-calmly with her preparations for little Mary’s grand wedding when she
-had thus, to her own satisfaction, secured a representative at
-Tottenham’s. And Ada studied the patterns indefatigably, and gave the
-mother the very best advice as to which was most suitable; and Gussy had
-a perfect carnival of work, and spent almost all her time in Rag
-Fair&mdash;with occasional expeditions to the shop, where Mr. Tottenham had
-established a chapel, chiefly to please her, and where one of the
-clergymen attached to the Charity-House kept up daily service. This was
-much more dangerous, had Lady Augusta been aware of the fact, than the
-rural Tottenham’s, where Harry was set to be sentinel without knowing
-it.</p>
-
-<p>And thus the first cold lingering days of spring&mdash;spring only in name,
-with all winter’s cold, and less than winter’s comfort, dragged
-themselves along. <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_310" id="page_310">{310}</a></span>Only to Lady Augusta, who was busy with the
-trousseau, and little Mary, who was making love, the days were not long
-enough for all that had to be put into them; though the others were of a
-different mind.</p>
-
-<p class="fint">END OF VOL. I.</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
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