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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6ce3ff1 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65931 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65931) diff --git a/old/65931-0.txt b/old/65931-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3af2ae0..0000000 --- a/old/65931-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4468 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of No Time For Toffee!, by Charles F. Myers - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: No Time For Toffee! - -Author: Charles F. Myers - -Release Date: July 27, 2021 [eBook #65931] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! *** - - - - - NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! - - By Charles F. Myers - - Life was Marc's oyster, but: subversives - had shot him--a ghost was ready to haunt his - corpse--and Toffee was loving him to death! - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - July 1952 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -_Just as he stepped to the microphone Marc caught sight of the swarthy -man. He saw the red scar across the left eyebrow, the dull flash of -metal in the large hairy hand. By then it was too late even to cry out. -In the next instant the glass panel in the control booth shattered._ - -_Marc felt an explosion of hot pain deep inside his chest. He was aware -of looking around dumbly at Dick Drewson and seeing Drewson's face -register shocked disbelief. Then the scene--the room, Drewson and the -others--disappeared, engulfed in a blinding sheet of flame--and Marc -knew he was falling...._ - - * * * * * - -Somewhere, in a place where time and space didn't exist, grey mists -began to seeth and swirl, and withall there was an ominous rumbling. -The High Council was almost in session. - -In a sense, the High Council was already in session, for the Heads of -the Council had developed their intellects to such an inconceivable -degree that when a meeting of the Council was imminent they could -send their thoughts on ahead of them and get the meeting under way -even before putting in an appearance. There was an exchange of views -and information long before the Heads accomplished the mundane and -troublesome business of materialization. Thus it was that the mists -of Limbo now rumbled with thought, counter thought and--on this -particular occasion--downright aggravation, even before the arrival -of the Supreme Head in the vapored chambers. There was an air of -foreboding. - -Having declined all vanities in the pursuit of the Ultimate -Intelligence, the Heads had allowed themselves to evolve into literal -representations of their titles. Directing all their energy and -development to the brain and its encasement, their bodies had suffered -proportionately so that now they were little more than a group of -preposterously large craniums, shaggy with cerebration, bearing faces -weighted with the ponderous woe of Life, Death, Eternity and other -such mental ballast. Five in all, they made up a company to be avoided -whatever the cost. - - * * * * * - -The Supreme Head cleared his throat and Eternity rattled with phlegmy -discontent. Baleful glances were exchanged all around. - -"Well," said the Supreme Head, after a pause for attention. "I suppose -you all know the reason for this meeting by now?" - -The Second Head, a bald party with large ears, nodded sadly. "You say -this blighted Pillsworth has gone and got himself shot this time?" - -"Precisely," the Supreme Head affirmed. "In a broadcasting studio, if -you please. There's simply no keeping that man out of trouble." - -"But why should we want to keep him out of trouble?" the Third Head, an -elongated customer with eye pouches, wanted to know. "That's hardly our -responsibility." - -"There's George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head said fatefully. "Surely -you haven't forgotten about George?" - -A hush fell over the Council, a hush of horror. - -"Not George again?" the Second Head shuddered. "We don't have to face -him again, do we?" He looked around beseechingly at the others. "After -all, Pillsworth's only injured, isn't he? He's not dying?" - -The Supreme Head looked for a moment as though he wished he had -shoulders so he might shrug them hopelessly. "The vibrations are -confused again," he sighed. "I don't know what the interference is -around Pillsworth, but the call never comes through clearly. All we -know is that he's gotten himself into another mess of some sort and is -either dead or dying." - -"It seems that the subversives are still strongly active in the -United States, and of course Pillsworth couldn't stay out of it like -a good citizen. He was approached by some men delegated by government -authority to take control of national advertising. The theory was that -American advertising could be used as a strong combative propaganda -weapon against the enemy propaganda already circulating through the -country. A committee was delegated to secure the cooperation of the -nation's leading advertising agencies. Naturally, since Pillsworth is -the nation's leading advertising executive, they contacted him first." - -"Then Pillsworth is a subversive?" the First Head enquired. "That's how -he got into trouble?" - -"Not at all," said the Supreme Head. "That's just it. Pillsworth wasn't -subversive, but the government committee was." - -"Eh?" - -"Exactly. It turned out that the program was one of the cleverest -propaganda schemes ever devised. Actually, their aim was to insert -alien ideals into the nation's advertising." - -"But you said the plan had government approval." - -"That's the really clever part of it. The method of presentation, while -seeming on the surface to denounce the foreign creed and uphold the -American one, actually was designed to win support for the enemy. The -sales psychology employed was of the negative." - -"Negative?" - -"That's correct. It's the old principle of telling people they don't -want a thing until they develop a feeling of defiance and decide they -are going to have it. It's an extremely subtle approach, but almost -infallible if properly developed. Knowing this, these men had a perfect -plan, so subtle that even the government didn't recognize it. Also, -they had help from within. A certain Congressman Entwerp pushed through -the legislation." - -"But Pillsworth saw through it?" - - * * * * * - -"Instantly," the Supreme Head nodded. "It was a principle he had been -using assiduously for years, in fact the very one through which he -achieved his success. The whole plot was as clear as a May morn the -moment he heard it. That's when the trouble started. He contacted -Congressman Entwerp." - -"Oh, dear!" - -"Indeed. Entwerp responded by holding Pillsworth up to ridicule." - -"But Pillsworth had logic on his side." - -The Supreme Head smiled tolerantly. "That's the Earth for you every -time," he said. "Show a human a bit of logic and he gets truculent on -the spot. Pillsworth was denounced as a witch hunter and instructed -under penalty of law to cooperate to the fullest." - -"Shocking," the Third Head said. "I begin to feel sorry for this -Pillsworth." - -"Pillsworth was similarly shocked. But he didn't feel sorry for -himself. Despite his inclination for the quiet conservative life, he -fought back." - -"Good," the Fourth Head put in. "I'm glad; it gives the story zip." - -"My thought in telling you this," the Supreme Head said caustically, -"is merely to inform, not entertain." - -"Sorry, sir." - -The Head nodded acknowledgment. "But to get on, Pillsworth presented -his case to a news broadcaster and asked to be allowed to recite his -story to the nation in the interests of national security. He was shot. -By whom we do not know; the fellow got away. But the fact we must hold -in mind is that he definitely was shot." - -"Then it really is serious," the Third Head said. "We may have to -interview this deadly George after all." - -"It's unavoidable," the Supreme Head sighed. "There's no way around -it." - -"But we're not positive Pillsworth is dead yet. Couldn't we wait and be -sure?" - -"His vibrations have been broken," the Supreme Head said. "Actually we -have no cause to hesitate." He sighed. "I suppose we might as well get -it over with." - -The others nodded in reluctant agreement. There was an oppressive -silence. - -"But didn't we banish George?" the First Head said. "We must have after -his last excursion to Earth." - -"That's right," the Second Head agreed. "I remember distinctly. He -attempted to fire poor Pillsworth off into outer space without a -pressure suit. We banished him to the Void to sing bass in the Moaning -Chorus." - -"We certainly picked the right party for the job," the First Head -reflected. "There isn't a more base spirit in all Limbo. Has he been -summoned?" - - * * * * * - -The Supreme Head coughed regretfully. "I issued the call through -Message Center before I announced the council." - -"Oh, dear," the First Head murmured, "then the stinker is practically -on the sloop at this very moment." - -"The stinker is crossing the sloop even now," the Supreme Head amended, -his gaze fastened hauntedly on a disturbance in the outer mists. "Here -he comes." - -"Secure your valuables," the Second Head said morosely. "And keep your -hands in your pockets." - -Hesitantly, under the unblinking disapproval of the Council, George -materialized. As the Council watched, a duplicate of Marc Pillsworth's -long, lean body, made vague by misted robes, rose solidly out of the -moiling vapors. It grew to full stature, rounded out at the shoulders, -extended a neck, then stopped short of the head. There was an expectant -pause, but nothing further developed. - -"The rotter's ashamed to face us," the First Head observed sourly. - -"Little wonder," the Third Head muttered. "After the way he's blotted -the haunting profession, he hasn't got a leg to stand on." - -"George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head intoned with exasperation, -"spiritual projection of the mortal entity, Marc Pillsworth, approach -the Council. And put on your head, you fool." - -George stirred, and his head, working from the chin upward, -materialized, revealing the face of Marc Pillsworth. All in all, as -faces go, Marc's--and consequently also George's--hit very close to -average. It was a nice face, a pleasant face, for all its lack of -distinction. On George, therefore, it was a misleading face. With its -lean plainness, its serious grey eyes and its shock of sandy hair, -it failed utterly to express even a whit of George's unprincipled -temperament. - -"Is that better, sir?" George asked, edging warily forward. - -"Hardly that," the Supreme Head groused. "The less of you the better. -However it helps us somewhat to get a clue to the inner festerings of -that depraved mind of yours." He gazed at George for a long, reflective -moment, then made a sad, clucking sound. "I simply cannot imagine -what Marcus Pillsworth must have thought when he discovered that his -spiritual entity was a tacky, ebony-hearted, feather-headed wretch like -you. Why aren't you more like your mortal source?" - -George shrugged sheepishly. "I guess I'm just no damn good," he -murmured. - -"You flatter yourself," the Supreme Head said. "You're much worse than -no damn good. You're simply awful. I wonder if Limbo will ever live you -down." - -"I hope so, sir," George said contritely. - -"Nevertheless," the Supreme Head went on, "much as I loathe it, I -suppose we must get on with it. I suppose you know why you've been -summoned?" - -George nodded dimly. "They reported me for teaching the Moaning Chorus -to syncopate." - -"What!" the Supreme Head gasped. "You did _what_?" - - * * * * * - -George looked up, afrighted; he'd given himself away again with no -need. "Yes, sir," he sighed resignedly, "I thought that if we got up -a good hot act we might be able to wangle a few guest shots with the -Celestial Choir. Actually, we've worked out a really sock arrangement -of the _Wham Bam Blues_. I'm sure that if you heard it...." - -"No!" the Supreme Head roared. "You _couldn't_! Of all the -unmitigated...!" He stopped and waited for his spleen to subside. -"George Pillsworth," he said, "you are insufferable." - -"I suppose so, sir," George said. "However my intentions...." - -"Blast your intentions!" - -"Yes, sir. I'm very sorry." - -"Never mind. In that case it's probably just as well that things are as -they are. It'll be a great relief to be rid of you." - -"Rid of me?" George said fearfully. "You aren't going to...?" - -"Unfortunately, no," the Supreme Head sighed. "What I mean is that your -mortal part, Marc Pillsworth, has got himself shot." - -George looked up sharply. His whole aspect changed; his eye brightened; -his entire being grew more alert. "I'm to be sent to Earth as a -permanent haunt? Oh, sir...!" - -"Hold it!" the Supreme Head snapped. "Don't go into a spring dance. -There's a hitch." - -"Oh," George said, but his eagerness was not noticeably dampened. - -To George, the merest prospect of a visit to Earth was only to be -regarded with rapturous anticipation. To him that distant world of -mortals was a place of boundless and exquisite attraction. It was made -up in equal parts of liquor, women and larceny and anything else that -existed there was merely the result of these things brought together in -odd combination. For George, Earth was absolutely the last gasp. - -Of course George had never achieved the ultimate accomplishment of -establishing permanent residence on Earth, for on all of his previous -visits he had arrived only to find that Marc was still alive and that -he could not legitimately remain. If on these occasions, George had -done his level best to rectify this error with whatever murderous means -at hand, it did not imply that the ghost held any personal animosity -for Marc. It was simply that George's was the sort of temperament which -boggled at almost nothing to achieve its end. - -"What's the catch?" he asked. - -"Don't be flip," the Supreme Head admonished. "And stop syncopating." - -"Syncopating?" George asked innocently. "I'm standing perfectly still." - -"It's your mind," the Supreme Head said. "It's jogging about like a cat -on hot bricks. It shows all over you. This is an occasion of enormous -seriousness." - - * * * * * - -George did his best to assume an expression of profound sobriety. -"Yes, sir," he murmured. - -"First of all," the Supreme Head continued, "as usual there is some -question as to Pillsworth's actual status. He has been shot, it's true, -and his vibrations are definitely broken. However, experience has -taught us to be wary in the case of Pillsworth. Often we have acted -on false alarms in the past and have been sorry." The Head paused -and beetled his brow. "Of course we need not have regretted those -errors had you behaved yourself at all in the manner of a decent, -self-respecting shade. Nevertheless, we don't dare take a chance -despite our reluctance in the matter. Pillsworth's wound falls into the -mortality class, so we have no alternative but to issue you your travel -orders and the usual allotment of ectoplasm." He fixed George with an -unhappy stare. "And get that look of evil delight off your face." - -"Sorry, sir," George said. - -"And make up your mind right now that this is a business trip. If -Pillsworth is not dead or definitely dying when you arrive you will -return instantly. Do you understand?" - -"Yes, sir." - -"And if he isn't dead or dying you will do nothing to alter this state -of affairs. You will not undertake on your own initiative to shove him -off tall buildings, under moving trucks or into open manholes. You will -not threaten him with ropes, guns, explosives, rare poisons or knives, -or attempt to dispatch him to heaven by means of rocket. Have you got -all that straight?" - -"Yes, sir," George said quietly. "Hands off. I understand." - -"I hope you do," the Head said ominously, "for your own sake. Anyway, -I suppose you'd better go along now and start checking out through -Supply. All that's left here is for you to raise your right hand and -swear by memory to the Ten Commandments of the Hunter's code. However, -I suppose you've got them all cribbed on the sleeve of your robe." - -George lowered his gaze. "Yes, sir," he murmured. "I have." - -"Then skip it," the Head sighed resignedly. "Just clear out." - -"Yes, sir," George said, brightening. "Thank you, sir." - -As the mists swirled up around George, and he gradually dissolved into -their vaporish currents, a joyous grin lighted his face.... - - * * * * * - -Three sets of eyes fastened clinically on the X-ray with worried, -professional interest. - -"There's a slight chance," the first doctor said, "if we operate -immediately." - -"Too slight," the second murmured. "The bullet's too close to the -heart. He'll die on the table." - -"He'll die anyway. We're merely taking the only chance there is." - -"I suppose so. Has his wife arrived yet?" - -"She's with him now." - -"He's not conscious, is he?" - -"No, certainly not, but they could not keep her away." - -"We'd better explain how it is. We're almost certain to lose him." - -"I suppose so." - -There was a pause before they turned and reluctantly left the room. -Outside, in the hospital corridor, the first doctor proceeded to the -door at the end of the hall while the other two stayed behind. He -opened the door and quietly stepped inside. - -Marc lay still on the bed, his pleasant face drawn and pale against the -pillow. Julie sat beside the bed, a classic figure of silent grief, her -blonde beauty drained with uncomprehending fright. She did not cry. Nor -did she move as the doctor walked toward her from the door. - -"Mrs. Pillsworth ..." the doctor said, but Julie remained motionless. -He moved closer to her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. -"We've just seen the X-ray." At this Julie looked up. "We'll have to -operate instantly. The preparations are being made now." He paused. -"The chances for success are negligible." - -Julie nodded dazedly. "I know," she whispered. "I know...." - -She did not resist as the doctor took her arm and guided her to the -door. At the last moment, though, she paused and looked back at the -lean face on the pillow. - -"He looks so peaceful," she said. "He looks so content. Does a dying -man ever dream, doctor?" - - * * * * * - -Even Marc himself could not have fitted a positive answer to Julie's -question. Did he dream? Or had he merely retreated from the world to a -realm of absolute reality? He didn't know himself. - -He remembered passing through caverns of roaring darkness, only -to be caught up by a tongue of searing flame and hurled into some -obscure dimness where it seemed that all the thought, melody, all the -remembered sensation of a lifetime writhed about him like vague forms, -one interposed upon the other, in unpatterned confusion. - -But now these entangled vagaries faded away and suddenly he found -himself sitting on a green slope at the outer perimeter of a grove of -graceful trees. A blue mist drifted lightly up the far rise to soften -the horizon. Marc was no stranger to this place for he had visited it -often. He felt no dismay at finding himself again in the valley of his -own mind. Indeed, through the last few years, it had become as familiar -to him as his own home or office. So had the redheaded minx who found -her existence there. - -Marc stirred and looked around. The landscape was uninhabited. No -lovely, lightly clad figure appeared on the horizon, no lithe form -emerged from the groves and ran toward him. - -Marc frowned anew over the improbable fact of Toffee. Certainly -she existed in his mind, a constant and consistent product of his -imagination. That was perfectly easy to understand. The parts of it, -though, that he never quite got used to were her periods of existence -outside his mind, in the world of actuality. - -What Marc had never been able to really comprehend was that his mind -could project into the physical world a physical being--to such an -extent that her existence was not only apparent to himself but also to -everyone else who came within the radius of the mental vibration which -produced the girl. - -The question in Marc's mind, then, was whether Toffee really existed, -was truly real, or whether she was merely an hallucination, a sort of -contagious hysteria. - -Toffee's personality always got in the way of the answer. The girl was -infinitely distracting, from the pert aliveness of her quick green -eyes to the full redness of her lips. Beyond that there was the almost -shameful perfection of her supple young body. These things blocked -analytical thought. Then, too, there was her unerring instinct for -roaring, bounding madness, and her absolute contempt for the logical, -the moral or the conservative. Toffee, in brief, was at once brash, -embarrassing, impetuous, warm, high-handed, endearing, maddening and -completely unforgettable. So to all practical purposes, then, she was -real; the matter of Toffee's source was pallidly unimportant next to -the vivid fact of Toffee herself. - -Marc stretched luxuriously and got to his feet, but as he did so he -peered around toward the green obscurity of the forest. There was still -no movement, no sound. He frowned quizzically. This wasn't at all -usual. Always before Toffee had been there to greet him almost at the -instant of his arrival. Another time she would be swarming all over him -by now. - - * * * * * - -He shrugged and started aimlessly up the rise. At first he climbed -unhurriedly, but as he drew nearer the trees his gait quickened. At the -outskirts of the forest he found himself pausing to listen, but there -was no sound. The feathery branches swayed in silent grace before him. -A small concern began to trickle into his mind. - -The blue mists broke smoothly before his stride as he entered the cool -enclosure of the forest. Again he paused. - -"Toffee...?" he found himself calling. - -There was no answer. - -He shoved ahead, and now there was a sort of anxiety in his step, and -he took care not to break the stillness lest Toffee answer. An odd -feeling of bereavement came over him, though he told himself it was -foolish. After all, the girl was entirely imaginary, and a pack of -trouble into the bargain. Then suddenly he stopped. - -An odd murmuring seemed to come from the left. He moved in that -direction, stopped to listen, then hurried on. Ahead he saw a dim -lightness sketched through the trees, a suggestion of a clearing -obscured by the dense branches. He approached it, parted the foliage -and looked out. He stopped short. - -Toffee sat in the middle of the clearing, her legs folded under her. -Her eyes were closed and one slender hand was pressed to her forehead -in an attitude of labored concentration. Her slight tunic, an emerald -transparency at best, did little to conceal the impertinent perfection -of her figure. She was leaning forward just a bit, and her flaming hair -hung loose over her shoulders. She seemed to be chanting something to -herself, though Marc couldn't make it out. - -"Toffee...?" he said, and stepped forward to brace himself against the -inevitable rush of brash affection. - -The girl opened her eyes and looked around hastily. - -"Sit down somewhere," she said, "and be quiet." - -"Huh?" Marc asked. - -Toffee didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes, swayed back lightly -on her shapely haunches and began the muttered chant anew. - -Marc swayed a trifle himself, with astonishment--and perhaps a tinge of -disappointment. This wasn't like Toffee at all, not by a long shot. He -moved slowly to her side and gazed down at her intent, upturned face. - -"Toffee...?" he hazarded. - -She didn't open her eyes. Her lips moved. "Molecules," she said. - -"What?" Marc asked. - -"Molecules," Toffee repeated. "Molecules ... molecules...." - -"Molecules?" Marc said. "What are you talking about?" - -Toffee opened her eyes at this and looked up at him with anxious -irritation. - -"Please be still," she said. "I've got to think about molecules -exclusively. It isn't helping any, your gabbing away in my ear." - -"But why?" Marc asked. "What about molecules?" - -"Everything depends on them, that's all," Toffee said impatiently. -"Now, just...." - -"But wait a min--!" - -"Quiet," Toffee said. "Don't you realize that you're tottering on the -brink of death at this very moment? Me, too, for that matter." - -"Death?" Marc asked. "What are you talking about?" - - * * * * * - -Toffee looked at him aghast. "Don't you remember?" she asked. "Have you -actually forgotten about being shot in the studio?" - -Marc stared down at her in growing horror. A small, agonized memory -screamed out of the dark inner shadows of his awareness. - -"Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I'm dying!" - -"And if those licensed butchers get to hacking you up, you're a goner," -Toffee said anxiously. "I have the inside information. There isn't much -time. I've got to concentrate like wild." - -"But...!" - -"Quiet!" Toffee broke in. "Please be quiet," she closed her eyes again -and her lips began to move as before. "Molecules," she murmured. - -Marc remained rigid at her side. Panic rose inside him and filled his -throat. His impulse was to turn and run blindly--perhaps back to that -dying mortal body--but his terror held him transfixed. Staring down at -Toffee, he felt he might go mad in the next moment. In the next moment -he was certain he had. - -Just in front of Toffee, close to the mossy greenness, he caught sight -of a quick flicker of light, a strange disembodied illumination that -was at once its own source and product. As he watched it flickered -again, grew brighter and became a steady radiance. He glanced back at -Toffee, but her face had become fixed and masklike. Her lips no longer -moved. - -The radiance grew swiftly, to an almost unbearable brightness. In it -there was a cold hard suggestion of metal. Then it began to take form -and solidify. Marc blinked as the thing, whatever it was, grew slowly -out of the gleaming brilliance. - -First a cylinder emerged, about a foot long and four or five inches in -diameter. For a moment the object seemed to have completed itself, -but then, one at either end, a pair of funnel-shaped openings emerged. -These completed, a small, two-way switch arrangement appeared at the -top and in the center of the cylinder. After that, the radiance was -gone and only the strange instrument remained, lying on the grass -before Toffee as though cast there by a careless hand. - -"What--!" Marc gasped. - -Toffee's perky features relaxed. She opened her eyes. - -"Did it turn out all right?" she asked brightly. "Is it finished?" - -"Huh?" Marc asked. He pointed. "You mean _that_?" - -"Oh, wonderful!" Toffee cried, delighted. "It's rather pretty the way -it shines, isn't it?" - -"What is it?" - -"How should I know?" Toffee said blandly. "Just a gadget. There's never -been one before." - -"You mean you just developed it out of your mind?" - -"Sure," Toffee said. "It's a thought product--like me. Now if it only -works right...." Picking up the instrument, she looked at it carefully -and nodded with satisfaction. "It should be simple to operate." - -"But what's it for?" - -"I'll show you," Toffee said. She pointed to a nearby tree. "See that?" -Marc nodded. "Keep looking at it." - - * * * * * - -Turning to the tree, she held the cylinder toward it, so that one of -the funnels was aimed squarely in its direction. - -"Now watch," she said, and pressed the switch. - -Marc, staring at the tree in rapt attention, started with surprise. -Suddenly the tree was gone with no sign that it had ever been there. - -"What...!" - -"The next part is more important," Toffee said. - -"Next part?" Marc said dazedly. "But where is it? Where...?" - -"See there?" Toffee said, and this time she pointed to the center of -the clearing. "Watch." - -Holding the cylinder so that the opposite end was pointed to the -clearing, she pressed the switch in the other direction. Instantly the -tree shot into being exactly at the spot she had indicated. - -Marc stared. It was the same tree--the one that had disappeared--and -yet it was subtly different. It seemed greener now, more alive. - -"What happened?" he asked. "What did you do to it?" - -"Molecules," Toffee said, smiling. "I broke it down into molecules, -then projected it again. The machine absorbed the tree in molecules, -compressed them, reconstructed the faulty or destroyed ones, eliminated -all harmful matter and retained the count to reestablish it in perfect -balance and health. It worked fine." - -"My gosh!" Marc said. - -Drawing close to him, Toffee twined her arms around his neck with -knowing deliberation and drew his surprised face down close to hers. - -"I'm going to save your stodgy life with molecules, you skinny old, -care-worn wraith," she breathed. "Then you'll be in my pay for the rest -of your days. Just keep it in mind later when things begin to happen." - -"Huh?" Marc said. "What things?" - -"You'll see," Toffee said. "Wow!" - -Marc drew himself up stiffly. "Now, look here," he said sternly, "you -can just get this wow business right out of your head...." - -"And if that doesn't work," Toffee said, "I've been studying hypnotism. -I can transfix a snake at fifty yards." She brushed her cheek lightly -against his. "Just think of that, you scaly old reptile." - -"Just a second," Marc said. "If you think for one sec--" - -But the sentiment was lost as Toffee renewed her hold on his neck and -kissed him warmly and at considerable length on the mouth. - -"That," she whispered, "is just a token payment in advance. Just wait -till the mortgage comes due!" - -[Illustration: TOFFEE] - -"Why, you little hussy...!" Marc wheezed. "You haven't the moral sense -of a brickbat!" - -He stopped short, for suddenly the forest had begun to darken and a -sharp wind came alive in the trees. He glanced around, startled, as the -earth began to tremble beneath them. Instinctively, he whirled about, -looking for an escape from the forest, but suddenly, with a groan of -dismay, the world went black, and he was only aware of Toffee's arms -closing tight about his neck.... - - * * * * * - -The orderly was a pale, antiseptic type. And he was resentful. Wheeling -Marc along the hallway toward Surgery, he looked down at the drawn face -beneath him with a twinge of pique. He strongly resented the fact that -the face was not behaving at all as the face of a true corpse-elect -should. - -According to the orderly, a dying man had no right to twitch and -flutter his eyelids the way this one was doing, let alone showing signs -of coming completely to life. It made the orderly nervous and upset. - -[Illustration: MARC PILLSWORTH] - -For a moment the orderly almost succumbed to an impulse to walk off -and leave the patient to shift for himself. It was what he deserved if -he was going to act that way. Nonetheless, he remained. Consequently, -Marc's first vision, upon returning to consciousness, was of a pale, -fretful face with white eyelashes and thin lips. He had expected -something better. - -"Who are you?" he asked weakly. "Are you the doctor?" - -The orderly shook his head sullenly. "I'm the orderly. The doctor's -waiting." - -"They mustn't operate," Marc murmured. "I'll die...." He stopped as a -pert face suddenly blurred into view just behind that of the orderly. -A slender hand brushed back a wayward lock of red hair. Toffee smiled -and winked. - -Marc moaned. "Oh, so it's you, is it?" he sighed. "What are you so -happy about? I feel awful." - -"I'm not happy, sir," the orderly said, mystified. "I'm not happy -at all. In fact, if you want the truth...." He paused, and the -apprehensive expression of one who detects an unseen presence behind -him overtook his face. Very slowly, he turned around. - -It would be difficult to say what the orderly expected to find behind -him: a fanged reptile might have made a good guess, a slavering fiend -another. It is certain, however, judging from his reaction, that on the -list of things he did not expect to find, a scantily clad redhead was -number one. Toffee, her legs crossed to perfection, the cylinder-like -gadget under her arm, sat jauntily on the edge of the cart, smiling a -bright greeting. The young man leaped backwards and froze in a transfix -of amazement. - -"Auk!" he exclaimed. - -Toffee turned to Marc. "Is he doing a bird imitation?" she asked. -"Should I applaud?" - -"Don't be funny," Marc said feebly. "I feel terrible." - -"I know," Toffee said. "I got here just in time." - -"For what?" Marc asked apprehensively. "What are you going to do?" - -Toffee patted the cylinder. "I'm going to save your life," she said. -"Don't you remember?" - -Marc looked at her through heavy lids. "That's silly," he murmured. -"Just go 'way and let me die in peace." - -Unmindful, Toffee leaped lightly to the floor, stood back and aimed the -gadget at Marc. "All set?" she said. - -"Here!" the attendant said, suddenly recovering the faculty of speech. -"What are you doing?" - -"Advancing medical science a mile a minute," Toffee said. "Don't -interrupt." - -"But...!" - - * * * * * - -Toffee placed her hand menacingly on her hip and fixed the young man -with a steely eye. "Am I going to have to deal with you?" she asked, -"Or are you going to button your lip like a good child?" - -The orderly spoke no further. - -Toffee raised the cylinder, sighting the length of Marc's lean, -sheet-covered body. Then she pressed the switch. - -The orderly stared, wide-eyed, and repeated his bird imitation. The -place where Marc had lain was suddenly as bare as a banquet board after -the feast. Where a moment before there had been a long thin man, now -there was only a long, thin sheet. - -"Hey!" the orderly bleated. "Ho!" - -"So long, phrasemaker," Toffee said, and tucking the cylinder under -her arm, moved off quickly down the hall and around the corner. - -It was just as the orderly observed the last flirt of Toffee's hip that -the doctor appeared from the door of the operating room and looked -distractedly in his direction. - -"Good grief, man!" he said, "haven't you brought Pillsworth with you?" - -The orderly started nervously and looked around. - -"He ... he ... he...!" he gibbered. "That is, she ... she...!" He -pointed in hopeless confusion down the hall. - -"What are you babbling about?" the doctor enquired shortly. "Where is -Pillsworth?" - -"He.... He's gone, sir!" the attendant blurted. - -"Gone?" the doctor said. "Where did he go?" - -The orderly looked away down the hall. "There was this girl, see ... -she had red hair and a can...." - -"Now, just a minute, orderly," the doctor said measuredly. "If you -think you can distract me with the depressing details of your sex -life...." - -"But you don't understand! She was holding this thing ... and she told -me to shut up ... and then Mr. Pillsworth wasn't there any more. That's -the truth!" - -"Let me impress it upon you," the doctor said, "that this is a very -serious incident. I can't imagine how a half-dead patient managed to -get away from you, but you'll find him instantly and deliver him to -surgery if you know what's good for you. Meanwhile, I'll have the alarm -sent out to all the wards and offices. I hope you realize that your -carelessness has undoubtedly cost the patient his last chance for life. -Without the slightest doubt I can pronounce Marc Pillsworth dead right -now." - -As the doctor spoke these last words, a small gust of wind--or at least -what could easily have passed for a small gust of wind--eddied around -the corner at the end of the hall. It was this slight disturbance which -marked the arrival of George on Earth. - -At the sound of the doctor's voice, the ghost stopped, listened, then -clasped his hands together in a transport of joy. He had arrived just -in time to receive the happy news! Marc was dead and he, George, had at -last secured his permanent residency on Earth. Out of sheer exuberance -the delighted spectre let out a little moan of delight. - -The orderly, who was watching the doctor gloomily out of sight, turned -sharply. - -"Mr. Pillsworth?" he quavered thinly. "Mr. Pillsworth, please...?" - - * * * * * - -Meanwhile Toffee had progressed busily along the corridors of the -hospital in search of some private--and preferably secluded--place -in which to reconstruct Marc. Finally, rounding a corner, she found -herself abreast of a pair of swinging doors and started toward them. -She stopped, however, and turned in retreat as the doors suddenly -parted and a doctor and nurse, deep in conversation, came into view. -She started back the way she had come, but was stopped again by an -approaching nurse pushing an elderly female patient in a wheel chair -flanked on either side by a crutch. Looking for an avenue of escape, -Toffee spotted a white linen screen against the wall and darted quickly -behind it to bide her time till the traffic had subsided. - -This ruse, on the face of it, hadn't a flaw and should have worked -like a charm. It should have that is, if Toffee, in her haste, hadn't -plumped against the wall and unknowingly pressed the button of the -gadget. - -The result of this little accident was that the doctor and the nurse -approaching from one direction, and the nurse and the patient coming -from the other--all four of them suddenly found themselves confronted -by a tall, thin man standing bewilderedly in the center of the hall -with nothing to grace his long frame but an extremely brief linen shift -loosely attached at the back. Toffee had released Marc into reality and -good health, but costumed only for the operating table. - -No one was more acutely aware of this deficiency than Marc himself. -Looking around unhappily at his stunned beholders and taking in his -slight coverage all in a single glance, he was taken with a seizure of -shocked modesty. Hunkering down into a squat he clutched the hem of his -gown desperately to his knees. - -"My word!" the elderly patient said, leaning forward in her chair. -"What in the world does that man think he's doing!" - -"I don't like to think," the nurse said, looking away. "It's bound to -be something disgusting." - -"Here you!" the doctor called from the other end of the corridor. "You -can't do that! Why are you crouched down in that obscene way?" - -"I'm naked!" Marc wailed. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm -downright exposed!" - -"There's no reason to whisper about it," the doctor said nastily. "We -can all see." - -"Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. Looking around for a retreat, his frantic -gaze fell on the screen. Still in a squat, he hobbled swiftly toward it. - -"Look at him!" the patient cried, rising slightly in her chair. "Here, -you! Stop doing that, for heaven's sake! You look like an ailing duck!" - -"That's nothing to what I'd look like if I stood up," Marc panted in -one last sprint for the screen. "That would be worse." - - * * * * * - -It was not until this point in the proceedings that Toffee began to -realize what had happened. Listening to the voices in the hall, it had -struck her that one of them had a dreadfully familiar ring to it. It -was much to her dismay that, in peering around the edge of the screen, -she suddenly found herself practically eyeball to eyeball with Marc. -She let out a small, strangled cry. - -"Oh, my gosh!" she said. - -"For Pete's sake, let me in there!" Marc said. - -"But how did you get out there?" - -"How should I know? Never mind that, let me in. They're all _looking_!" - -"At what?" - -"I shudder to think. Please let me in!" - -"But why are you all doubled up like that?" - -Tired of words, Marc reached up to the screen to pull it away so he -could get behind it. Unfortunately, it was at this same instant that -Toffee decided to shove it open to make room. With their combined -efforts, the screen buckled, folded, teetered and fell, cracking Marc -solidly on the head. The next moment found him in an unconscious sprawl -on the floor. The area behind the screen was starkly deserted. The -observers crowded in swiftly to see what had happened. - -"Good God!" the doctor cried, staring down at Marc. "It's Pillsworth, -the man they're looking for in Surgery!" - -"Is he dead?" the nurse asked. - -The doctor shook his head. "He's breathing. Run and call an orderly to -take him along instantly. Hurry!" - -As the nurse hurried off, the elderly patient removed one of the -crutches from the side of her chair and passed it experimentally -through the vacant area beyond the screen. She shook her head in -perplexity. - -"By golly," she said, "I could have _sworn_ he was talkin' to somebody -back there." - - * * * * * - -While this untimely denouement was rounding out in the hallway, a mad -drama of another sort was beginning to ferment in the Pharmacy. - -Olliphant Gunn, the rotund and habitually foggy keeper of the dopes -and drugs, had been watching it for several minutes; there was trouble -brewing in the Salts and Syrups--trouble of a most mysterious and -upsetting nature. The containers, for all the world as though they had -suddenly been endowed with some idiotic life of their own, had begun to -shift about all by themselves. Watching a jar of salts hurl itself to -the floor and splash its contents out in a whitish mess, Olliphant Gunn -concluded definitely that there was some sort of flimflam afoot. - -This conclusion was stoutly strengthened as he witnessed the progress -of his private bottle from its hiding place amongst the medicants to -a position in mid-air in front of the shelves. Olliphant began to -quiver about the dewlaps. He quivered even more as the bottle uncapped -itself, tilted upward and emptied a noticeable portion of its contents -into--into absolutely nothing at all! - -Olliphant fell back in his chair, slack of jaw, and it is doubtful, had -anyone been able to apprise him of the truth of the matter, that he'd -have felt any better about it. To a man in his cups, as Olliphant was, -the news does not come lightly that he is in the company of a thirsty -ghost, with an unerring nose for whiskey, and a predisposition for -celebration. - -Olliphant watched in bleary disbelief as the bottle repeated the -tilting and emptying process. Then his mood began to change. Regardless -of what this obviously demented bottle thought it was up to, it had -no right to deplete his private reserves in this callous fashion. The -slack jaw of Olliphant Gunn hitched itself up and became firm. - -"Stop that!" Olliphant roared. "You stop that right now, damnit!" - -For a moment the bottle wavered, as though startled, then defiantly -upended a third time and brought the level of the coveted liquor down -still further. Quite as though to rub salt in the wound, it burped with -grandiose satisfaction. - -"Damnation!" Olliphant gasped. "I'll teach you, you blathering bottle!" - -Heaving his considerable bulk up out of his chair, he hurled himself -bodily toward the object of his wrath. - - * * * * * - -The laws of nature, however, were against Olliphant from the very -beginning. As the bottle darted out of his reach, sheer momentum -carried him headlong into the dim reaches of Salts and Syrups. Gravity -delivered him along with a quantity of gummy liquid and gritty -crystallines to the floor. Settled in a sticky puddle of wreckage, -Olliphant glanced around with a reddish, enraged expression. Besides -salt and syrup, there was blood in his eye. - -At a distance sufficiently out of reach, yet insultingly near, the -bottle was bobbing about amusedly. Indeed, Olliphant distinctly heard a -soft chuckling sound coming from its direction. With a jungle roar he -surged up from the floor and launched a second attack. This netted him -another disastrous collision, this time with the glassware department. -The Pharmacy was swiftly being transformed into a scene of chaos. - -In the interval, the bottle had retreated to a position by the -doorway and was humming maddeningly to itself. Suddenly it burst into -full-throated song. - -"Goin' to Louisiana," it warbled, "for a case of good whis-kee! Goin' -to Louisiana with a hussy on mah knee!" - -Olliphant settled himself sadly on an untidy mound of rubble and began -to brood. There was no use denying it; the thing was just too much for -him. As he watched the bottle bob back and forth in time with the -idiot song, a large tear trickled down his cheek. Olliphant Gunn was -just a broken reed in the holocaust of Life, and his ruination had come -about through a mere mad bottle. The man began to blubber hopelessly. - -It was during this heart-rending climax that the nurse, a small blonde, -appeared at the doorway and stared into the pharmacy with large -wondering blue eyes. - -The invisible George, who had been enjoying his own singing to the -utmost, stopped at the sight of the newcomer in mid verse. Things, he -decided, were beginning to look up. Warmed by the liquor, George was -dazzled and enchanted. - -Unfortunately the nurse was neither of these. Striding through the -door, she stepped into a trickle of syrup and skidded dangerously -toward Olliphant. George, feeling that things were moving in the wrong -direction entirely, seized upon the floundering blonde with one deft -swoop of his invisible arm and lifted her to dry ground. It was a -moment before he was able to account for the girl's shrill screams. - -A period of stupefied silence followed as the nurse glanced around -suspiciously. As a girl who, in line of business, had experienced -considerable traffic with men, she was disposed to know to the exact -moment when she had been forcibly clutched by a masculine hand. Also, -which only made matters worse, she was a girl who knew where she had -been clutched and why. - - * * * * * - -In looking around for masculine hands available for clutching, a quick -survey told the nurse that the room inventoried two and both of them -were the exclusive property of Olliphant Gunn. Geographically it seemed -impossible that either of these hands could have performed the recent -clutching, but in her anger the nurse was not the one to quibble over -details. Seizing up a large crystal beaker she unhesitatingly smashed -it to splinters on Olliphant's skull with one smart whack. Olliphant -looked up through his tears. - -"What you wanna do that for, lady?" he sobbed. - -"You know what for," the nurse gritted, looking around for further -ammunition. "And that's only the beginning. If you ever...." She -stopped as she suddenly encountered the floating bottle. Instinctively, -or perhaps out of sheer surprise, she grabbed for it. At any rate, it -was not until she had gotten a grip on the thing that she realized that -this was a bottle not properly on the up and up. This fact was brought -home to her even more clearly when the bottle refused to budge in her -grasp and even showed a definite tendency to pull away. - -For a long moment the nurse merely stared at the bottle with a -wondering gaze. Then slowly an expression of determination came into -her pretty face. Squaring her stance, she took hold of the offending -container with both hands. - -"It's no use," Olliphant said from the floor. "That bottle's mean." - -Heedless, the nurse braced herself and tugged with all her strength. -The bottle gave by a foot, then lurched drunkenly in her grasp. Down on -the floor the rivulet of syrup became disturbed, as though feet were -churning through it desperately seeking to regain lost traction. - -Suddenly the bottle gave way and the nurse toppled backwards into -Olliphant's lap. Olliphant received this new burden with resignation -and a grunt. Across the room, however, there was another sound, as of a -body coming in swift contact with the floor. - -"Damn!" the nurse said hotly, turning to Olliphant. "Keep your big -oafish hands off me! Stop reaching." - -"I'm only reaching for the bottle," Olliphant said. "It's mine." - -"It didn't feel like it," the nurse retorted. "It felt more like...." -She hesitated as from the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a -long body sprawled on the floor. At first glimpse it seemed that the -body had no head, but as she looked more closely she saw that it did, -though she had the peculiar sensation that it had just come into being. -Handing Olliphant the bottle she got to her feet and approached the -prone figure. Noting that it was dressed for surgery, she stood staring -down at it quizzically for a moment. - -"Holy smoke!" she breathed. "It's Pillsworth!" She turned to Olliphant. -"Come on and help me. We've got to get him down to Surgery right away!" - - * * * * * - -Marc felt himself rising through the last shredded mists of -unconsciousness. He tried to open his eyes but a glaring light made the -attempt too painful. - -"Give him the anaesthetic," a voice said close by. - -Panic pulsed through Marc's body. They were going to operate! Necessity -gave him a surge of strength and he sat up, staring wildly at the three -doctors gathered over him. - -"No!" he said. "Don't! I'm all right!" - -"Lie down, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor nearest advised. "Just lie down -and it will all be over with in a minute." - -"But I'm all right!" Marc said desperately. He glared around at the -nurse holding the mask for the anaesthetic. "Get away from me!" - -"Hysteria," the doctor said. "Quite understandable after what he's been -through. He'll have to be restrained." - -The other two nodded in agreement. Watching Marc closely, they took up -positions on either side of him. The first doctor moved to a place at -Marc's feet. - -"When I give the signal," he whispered, "we'll all grab at once." - -"I heard that!" Marc yelled. "Stay away from me, you croakers, or -I'll...!" - -"Okay!" the doctor cried. "Grab!" - -The scene over the operating table, for a moment thereafter, was a -living abstraction in flailing arms and legs. Though Marc managed at -one point to insert his thumb into the eye of the first doctor and his -foot into the mouth of the second, the odds were too great against him. -In the end he found himself pinioned helplessly to the table. - -"All right, nurse," the doctor said, "fit the mask to his face. As soon -as the body's relaxed...." - -"You leave that body alone," a pert feminine voice said tartly. "That -body happens to belong to me, for what it's worth, and I don't want it -tampered with. I particularly don't want it relaxed. I want it alert -and twitching in every fibre, and if you don't leave it alone I'm going -to lay into the bunch of you bare fisted!" - -A tense silence overtook the group around the operating table. The -doctors looked at each other, then turned to observe the dismaying -redhead who had mysteriously appeared just behind them. - -"How did you get in here?" the first doctor said uncertainly. - -"I'm the owner of that body you are flinging about there," Toffee said -hotly, shifting the gadget under her arm and placing a hand on her hip. -"That body's mine right down to the last molecule and I've come to -fight for it if I have to." - - * * * * * - -Marc sat up under the relaxed grips of the doctors, his face scarlet. -"Why do you have to go around telling people things like that?" he -asked plaintively. - -"I could put it another way," Toffee said. "Dirtier. For instance...." - -"No!" Marc cried. "It's dirty enough already." - -The doctor turned to Marc. "Who is this woman?" - -"I don't know," Marc lied quickly. "I've never seen her before in my -life. Why don't you throw her out of here?" - -"Why, you lying old ingrate!" Toffee flamed. "For two cents I'd climb -up there on that table and perform a few operations of my own!" - -"Madam!" Marc said distantly, "whoever you are, do you really think you -ought to take on in public in this brazen way?" - -"I'll take you on in public, no holds barred, you thin-nosed phony," -Toffee gritted. "You don't know what brazen is yet!" - -The doctor turned to the nurse. "Call the orderlies and have this woman -removed," he said. "And have them give her a blanket or something to -wear. We can't delay the operation another moment. I'll give the -anaesthetic myself." - -"Hey!" Marc yelled. "Toffee...." - -"Go ahead, doctor," Toffee said with evil satisfaction. "Rip him open. -Slit him from ear to ear and top to bottom. I won't lift a finger." - -"No!" Marc cried. He turned to Toffee in panic. "It'll mean the end of -both of us!" - -"Pardon my girlish laughter," Toffee said. "It's worth it, dogmeat, -to see you get yours after the way you've treated me. Either you fork -over that lanky frame of yours, or you're going to be out of frames -entirely. That's the way it stacks up." - -"Do you have to be so vulgar about it all?" Marc asked weakly. "With -all this talk about bodies and frames, I'm beginning to feel like just -so many soup bones displayed on a counter." - -"That's exactly the parallel I've been searching for," Toffee said -complacently. "In fact if there's anything vulgar in all this, it _is_ -your body. Come to think of it, it suddenly strikes me as so vulgar I'm -no longer interested in it." - -"Please!" Marc cried as the doctors gripped him to the table. "Use that -gadget of yours--anything! Please!" - -"Sorry, son," Toffee said. "I guess you'll remember after this never to -forget a lady's name." - -Marc looked up and saw the mask bearing down toward his face. "Toffee!" -he yelled. "For Pete's sake!" - - * * * * * - -The mask miraculously paused in its descent, stopped. The action around -the table came to a sharp halt. Eyes swiveled toward the door. Marc -turned on his side just in time to observe Olliphant Gunn lumbering -into the room under the weight of George's upper quarters. - -The nurse, her blonde hair in a state of dishevelment, followed bearing -the feet and legs. Arriving at a position inside the door, they -deposited their burden on the floor where it instantly curled over on -its side and emitted a sodden snore. - -"It's Mr. Pillsworth," the nurse said breathlessly, shoving back her -hair. "We brought him straight down without waiting for the orderlies." -She looked up into the stunned faces staring back at her from around -the table. Then her gaze fell to Marc. - -"My God!" she gasped. - -"Good Lord!" Marc groaned, taking in the stupid, smiling face of George. - -"Jesus!" breathed the doctor. - -"Amen," Toffee put in glibly. "Who's taking up the collection?" - -Marc turned to Toffee. "It's that gosh-awful spook again!" he breathed. -"He would have to show up now!" - -"Actually," Toffee said, "he could not have shown up at a better time. -I really was going to help you out, but now we have George." - -Marc's eyes brightened with slow realization. "Of course," he said, -then turned as he felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "Yes?" - -"Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor said tensely. "You _are_ Mr. Pillsworth, -aren't you?" - -Marc smiled with hypocritical innocence. "No," he said. "That's what -I've been trying to get through your thick skull." He pointed to -George. "That's Pillsworth there on the floor. And if you ask me he's -in a pretty critical condition. You'd better start sawing away at him -right now before he pops off of natural causes and robs you of the -sport." - -"Oh, my word!" the doctor gasped. "How can I ever tell you...!" - -"Come," Marc said grandly, turning to Toffee, "let's leave this -blood-splattered slaughter house." - -"I'm all for it," Toffee said gaily. "Let's flee." - -"I thought you didn't know that woman," the doctor said confusedly. - -"I begin to recognize her now," Marc replied urbanely. "It was my -horror at the crass brutality of the medical profession that drove her -tender memory from my mind." - -"But, I ..." the doctor began hopelessly. - -"Say no more," Toffee said airily. "You can tell your side of it in -court." - - * * * * * - -The two of them, linking arms, started toward the door. They were just -about to sweep out of the room when suddenly the situation hit a new -snag. It was at this juncture that George opened his eyes, waggled -them around woozily, then reared up in a sitting position, staring at -Marc. - -"You!" he said with a strangled gasp. "You're alive!" The way he said -it, it sounded like a hideous accusation. - -Marc stopped short, caught off guard. "Of course I'm alive," he said. - -"But you can't be!" George wailed, great tears of awful disappointment -welling in his eyes. "It isn't fair! You _have_ to be dead!" - -"I'm sorry," Marc said, somewhat at a loss. "I'm not." - -"It's rotten," George said with drunken bitterness. "It's cruel. I'm -probably the only ghost alive who's haunted by a human!" - -"Well, it's a distinction," Toffee offered hopefully. - -"Just a minute," the doctor put in suspiciously. "What's going on here? -What are you people talking about?" - -Marc nodded sadly toward George. "The poor chap's delirious," he said. -"We're only trying to humor him." - -"Oh, yeah?" the doctor said. His gaze moved from Marc to George and -back to Marc again. "Just which one of you really _is_ Marc Pillsworth?" - -Marc and George pointed at each other in unison. "He is!" they chorused. - -The doctor passed a trembling hand over his forehead and lifted his -gaze to the ceiling. A tremor of frustration passed through his sturdy -frame. He turned to the small blonde. - -"Is Mrs. Pillsworth still in the waiting room?" he asked. - -"I believe so, sir," the nurse said. - -"Will you please call her in here to make an identification?" - -"No!" Marc said, glancing uneasily in Toffee's direction. "Don't do -that...! I mean there's no need to disturb Mrs. Pillsworth. Obviously -this pitiful creature here on the floor is Pillsworth. Just by looking -at him you can see he's under the weather." - -At this George drew himself up sedately, stiffling a hiccough. "Nothing -of the sort," he said piously. "I'm in perfectly splendid condition." - -"Go ahead, nurse," the doctor said firmly. "Bring Mrs. Pillsworth." - -"Yes, sir," the nurse said, and departed. - -"But, you can't afford to delay the operation that long," Marc said. -"You said so yourself. Anyone with half an eye can see that this poor -man is getting more feeble by the second. You owe it to him to slit -him open immediately...!" In speaking Marc had paused to look at -George. The result was that the words froze on his lips. Never had he -spoken more truly; George was not only getting more feeble but more -non-existent by the second. His legs had evaporated to the knees, his -arms were entirely gone. Where his eyes should have been there were -now only empty sockets. Staring at this awesome demonstration, the -doctor tottered slightly and braced himself against the operating table. - -"Oh, good Lord!" he moaned. - -"Stop that, you coward," Marc said angrily. "Stop sneaking out like -that!" - - * * * * * - -In response, George merely dissolved his head to a grinning skull. -"Gotta go now," he chortled hollowly. "Gotta be corking off." He turned -to the others and clacked his teeth menacingly. Olliphant Gunn was the -first to snap. - -"There's just so much that human flesh and blood can stand," the poor -man wailed, and leaping to the operating table he snatched up the -anaesthetic mask and plunged it over his face. - -"Come on," Toffee said urgently, tugging at Marc's sleeve. "Let's get -out of here before that cheap ghost sticks us with an operation." - -Marc jolted into action. Under Toffee's guidance, he lunged out the -door and started down the hall. - -"Let's leave this place," Toffee said. "Let's go somewhere where we can -have fun." - -"We can't leave like this," Marc said, indicating their brief attire. -"We can't go out on the street half naked." - -"We can say we're artists' models on our way to work," Toffee said. -"Come on." - -Marc didn't pause to debate the point as a cry from the operating room -indicated that the doctors had recovered from their dismay with an -urgent sense of loss. - -Together, he and Toffee began to run. They proceeded swiftly around a -corner and down a flight of steps to the floor below. Suddenly Marc -stopped. - -"What's wrong?" Toffee asked. - -"Listen," Marc said. "What's that?" - -Toffee listened. Descending footsteps sounded on the stairs behind -them. She whirled about. The stairway was unoccupied. - -"George," she said disgustedly. "He's following us." - -The footsteps stopped guiltily. - -"Okay," Marc said, addressing himself to the empty stairs. "It's no use -pretending you're not there. You might as well show yourself." - -A subdued hiccough echoed out of the emptiness, but that was the extent -of George's communication. - -"If you're entertaining any notion of bumping me off so you can stay -here," Marc warned, "just forget it. I'm alive and I intend to stay -that way." - -"Just ignore him," Toffee said. "He's bound to get bored and go away if -we refuse to pay any attention to him." - - * * * * * - -The discussion went no further, for suddenly there were sounds of -approaching pursuit from above. Grabbing Toffee's arm, Marc raced -ahead, down the hall and around another corner. A third set of -footsteps continued to sound in their wake. - -"He's still with us," Toffee panted. - -"The vulture," Marc said. "He's just hoping they'll catch me. Run -faster." - -Renewing their efforts, they left behind another stretch of corridor, -turned another corner. There they stopped abruptly. Ahead a group of -orderlies loomed before them. - -"That's them!" a young athletic type yelled. "That's Pillsworth!" - -"To hell with Pillsworth!" a companion responded. "Get the dame! She's -practically all skin, just like they said!" - -Marc and Toffee darted back around the corner. - -"Surrounded!" Toffee panted. "I think that sums up the situation." - -"What'll we do?" Marc asked confusedly. - -Toffee pointed to a door marked JANITOR'S CLOSET. "In there," she said. -"Quick!" - -They ran to the door, threw it open and darted inside just as their -pursuers surged into view at either end of the hallway. They paused -in the darkness to listen. As the sounds of the chase continued -outside they turned their attention to their new surroundings. The -air was close with the heady aroma of cleaning fluid, wax polish and -disinfectant. - -"Isn't there a light in here?" Toffee asked. - -"I can't find one," Marc said. "I've looked all over." - -"Well," Toffee said, "at least it's a place to relax for a bit and -catch our breath. I just wish it didn't smell so oppressively clean. I -was hoping for a bit of dirt tonight--of the right sort, of course." - -"You stay on your side of the closet," Marc said, "and I'll stay on -mine." - -"We'll never get anywhere that way," Toffee said. "Suppose Romeo had -taken that attitude with Juliet?" - -"They'd both have lived a lot longer," Marc said. - -"I suspect that George is in here with us," Toffee said. "I fancy I -hear him breathing back there amongst the mops and brooms." - -"I suppose he is," Marc said. There was a pause, followed by a number -of rattling sounds. "What are you doing?" - -"There's a whole shelf of bottles over there," Toffee said. "I'm just -sniffing about to see if there's anything interesting. And there is. -The janitor has strong tastes. Irish whiskey, I should judge, by the -jolt of it. Have some?" - - * * * * * - -Marc paused, took note of the new vapors overriding those of the -cleaning fluids. - -"Well," he said, "it is a little drafty in this nightgown." - -Toffee handed him the bottle in the darkness. "Bottoms," she said -pleasantly. - -"The expression," Marc said sedately, "is bottoms up." - -"Up or down," Toffee said, "it doesn't matter. I was just tossing in -bottoms at random. Assorted bottoms, so to speak. If you prefer them -up, you'll get no argument out of me." - -There was a smacking sound as Marc lowered the bottle from his lips. -"Let's just skip the bottoms," he said, "and go on to something else." - -"Sounds pretty giddy," Toffee mused, "all this leaping about over -bottoms. However...." - -"Look outside," Marc suggested wearily, "and see if they're still out -there." - -"Okay," Toffee said. A small shaft of light darted in and out of the -closet as she opened the door and closed it again. "They're churning -about like cattle in a loading chute," she reported. "Where are you?" - -"Sitting on the floor," Marc said. "I'm beginning to find this place -restful." - -"You're beginning to stink of Irish whiskey," Toffee said. "Stop -gulping at that bottle like a great fish and hand it back." - -"I wonder if we should offer George a drink?" Marc said with growing -amiability. "I definitely heard him breathing back there just now. -Sounds a trifle wheezy, I'm afraid." - -"I think we ought to banish George from our minds," Toffee said. -"Besides, now that I've got the bottle back I don't intend to be free -about handing it around for quite some time." - -"All right," Marc said. "Have it your way. George is banished." - -There was a prolonged period of contented silence, broken -intermittently by faint gurgling sounds, first from one side of the -closet then the other. It was Toffee who finally spoke. - -"By the way," she said, "what was all that nonsense about your getting -yourself shot?" - -"Oh, that," Marc said negligently. "It's a bunch of subversives. -They have a subtle plan to poison the minds of the public against -the government--with the government's permission. I went on the air -to expose them, but they had me shot to stop me. There was this dark -fellow with a scar over his left eye in the control booth...." He -paused. "Holy smoke! I forgot. This is serious business, isn't it?" - -"It sounds like it," Toffee said. "How far did you get in your -broadcast?" - -"I didn't even get started. I suppose I ought to try to do it again." - -"If they think you're dead or dying, they won't be watching for you any -more." - -"That's right," Marc said. "Let's get out of here." - -"Okay," Toffee said. "Just take your arms away from my waist so I can -get up." - -"Huh?" Marc said. "I don't have my arms around your waist." - -"You haven't!" Toffee said. "Didn't you take the gadget from under my -arm either?" - -"Of course not." - -"It's that sneaky George," Toffee snorted. "And when I think of how I -was enjoying it...!" She turned in the darkness. "Let go of me before -I lose my temper, George. So help me, you spurious spectre, I'll twist -your head off when I get ahold of you." - -There was no answer but apparently the threat had taken hold; there -were sounds of Toffee getting to her feet. - -"That'll hold him," she said. "Look outside and see how things are. I -want that gadget back." - -Marc fumbled his way to the door, opened it a crack, then shoved it all -the way open. - -"All clear," he said and turned back to Toffee. "Can you see him back -there? Is he visible?" - -"I can just make him out," Toffee said, peering into the back of the -closet. "He's sort of lurking." - -"Okay, you rat," Marc said. "Come out of there and give it to us. Snap -into it." - -There were shuffling sounds from the shadows and slowly a figure -emerged into the light. It was a dark, heavy figure. The face was -swarthy and there was a scar over the left eye. The man leered at the -two in the doorway. - -"Okay," he said. "Keep your shirts on. I'm going to give it to you all -right. I'm going to give it to you good." - -He moved closer. In his left hand was Toffee's gadget, in his right an -enormous revolver. - - * * * * * - -The swarthy man closed the door to the storeroom, locked it, and -shaking his head, moved purposefully down the hallway to a door -at the front of the warehouse. He stopped and knocked, and as an -unintelligible grunt issued from inside, he opened the door and entered. - -"I got 'em," he announced. - -Across the room a portly gentleman with a white mane and great shaggy -black eyebrows looked up from a sheaf of papers on the desk before him. - -"Them?" he said. "I told you just to pick up Pillsworth and finish him -off." - -The swarthy man glanced away, embarrassed. "I couldn't finish him off, -congressman. He wasn't even started. I went to the hospital, like you -told me, to make sure about Pillsworth--and I was going along the hall -lookin' for this place where they cut 'em up--and all of a sudden there -was a racket like a lot of people runnin' around and yellin', so I -ducked into this closet to keep under cover. Well, I was only in there -a little bit when all of a sudden somebody yanks the door open and this -guy and this dame come shaggin' in with hardly any clothes on. So I -kept quiet and listened." - -"I'm not interested in the sordid doings behind the scenes at the -hospital," Congressman Entwerp interrupted. "Stick to the pertinent -facts." - -"Oh, no, it wasn't nothin' like that. I just listened and pretty soon -it come up in what they were sayin' that this guy with the dame is none -other than Pillsworth himself. And believe me, congressman, I can't -explain it, but there ain't a thing wrong with him--physically." - -"Physically?" the congressman asked. "What do you mean?" - -"The guy's mentally a mess," the thug said. "So's this dame with him. -She's a terrific lookin' little job, but crazy as a coot. It's a dirty -shame." - -"How do you know they're crazy?" - -"Just ask Hank. He drove the car. All the way over from the hospital -they kept talkin' to this guy who wasn't there, and bawlin' him out for -followin' them everyplace. They called him George, and they carried on -a regular conversation with him. It was weird, leave me tell you. But -one thing, this guy George, whoever he is, is lucky he doesn't exist; -the way that little dame kept tellin' him what she was going to do to -him if he didn't show himself and help them out of this jam was enough -to curl your hair. Pillsworth was all the time tellin' this imaginary -character what a ghoul he was to be hangin' around just to see him get -killed. They're both nuts, boss, an' no lie!" - -"Maybe it was just an act," Congressman Entwerp suggested skeptically. - -"I don't think so. You'd really have to feel mean to say some of the -stuff those two was dishin' out to this George." The thug paused -and withdrew Toffee's thought gadget from his pocket. "Look what I -lifted off the dame in the closet." He placed it on the desk before -the congressman. "She's plenty hot to get it back. You'd think it was -somethin' worth somethin'." - -"What is it?" - -"I don't know. Some sort of two-way flashlight, I guess. Just a piece -of junk." - - * * * * * - -The congressman bent his shaggy head close over the gadget and examined -it minutely. He picked it up, weighed it in his hand, then shrugged and -dropped it negligently into his pocket. - -"Let's have a look at these two crackpots," he said, rising from his -chair. "We'll have to dispose of them, of course." - -"Okay," the thug said. "I just hope they've got things settled with -this George before we get there." - -Back in the storeroom, however, events were lurching ahead in a most -uncertain manner. Things had started with an air of mild strangeness -and mounted swiftly to a state of wild-eyed madness. - -Finding themselves confined and in the hands of blood-thirsting -murderers, Marc and Toffee had paused only momentarily to survey their -musty prison, the cases of wines, brandies and whiskies stacked along -the walls, before returning to the subject uppermost in their minds. -Toffee, doubling her fists, addressed herself to the room at large. - -"George," she said evenly, "we know you're with us. You gave yourself -away in the car when you let that foot materialize, and you'll give -yourself away again. And when you do, brother, I'm going to kick your -teeth out one at a time and have them made into shirt studs. I'm going -to...!" - -"It's no use threatening him," Marc interrupted. "He's got the -advantage. He's just hanging around waiting for me to be killed. And -he'll probably have his way before they're done with us." - -In answer, a stifled yawn echoed from somewhere in back of them. Toffee -whirled about. - -"Listen to him!" she fumed. "Now he's rubbing it in! That was the most -put-on yawn I ever heard." - -She started forward, but Marc put out a hand to stop her. He drew her -toward the corner. - -"Listen," he said in lowered tones, "I've just thought of something. -Maybe we can trap him." - -"We certainly should be able to," Toffee agreed hotly. "George is pure -rat, through and through. If we only had some cheese...." - -"What about whiskey?" Marc asked. "There's plenty of it here, and where -George is concerned it's the best bait in the world." - -"I wonder why he hasn't been at it already?" Toffee said, surveying the -crates along the walls. "The place is practically seething with the -stuff." - -"He's too smart," Marc said. "He doesn't want to show where he is. -By the time he opened a crate and got the bottle out we'd have him -located. He's afraid we'd slug him." - -"Of course we'd slug him," Toffee said. "I personally intend to bop -the living bejesus out of him at the very first opportunity. What -difference does that make?" - -"He knows what we're after," Marc explained. "He knows we want him to -show himself to these people so they won't know which one of us is me. -And look what happened to George the last time he was knocked out." - - * * * * * - -Toffee looked up with a smile of understanding. "Of course!" she said. -"He lost control of his ectoplasm and materialized." - -"Exactly," Marc said, "and it might happen again. Then it would not -be just a matter of confusing them with the two of us. If George -materialized we could leave him to take the rap all by himself." - -"Wonderful!" Toffee said. "Let's do it. It would serve everybody -right. How do we trap him?" - -"It's simple," Marc said. "We open the crates and get the bottles out -_for_ George. At first we pretend to forget about him; we sit around -and act like we're swilling down whiskey by the gallon and having the -time of our lives. This will drive George close to madness, locked in -a room with two drinkers and no drop for himself. When we figure he's -sufficiently worked up, we'll weaken and offer him a drink. He won't be -able to resist. While one of us hands over his bottle, the other takes -a fix on George's position and bashes the daylights out of him with -this." Marc permitted himself a smile of pride. "You see?" - -"Marvelous," Toffee said. "I particularly love that part at the end, -where George gets bashed. Can I be the basher?" - -"Okay," Marc agreed. "Let's go. And remember, act as though you've -never enjoyed drinking anything so much in your whole life." - -With tremendous nonchalance, the two moved across the room to the -stacked crates. - -"My, my," Marc said in a declamatory, radio announcer's tone, "what do -you suppose we have here in all these interesting-looking crates?" - -"I should think," Toffee said on cue, "that they contain bottles of -fine old tangy whiskey. Of course that's just a random guess, but I -believe it's a shrewd one. Shall we have a look?" - -"Oh, let's!" Marc cried, with a false grin of eagerness. He turned -slightly in what he presumed to be George's direction. "A drink of fine -old tangy whiskey would certainly taste mighty good just now." - -"I can think of nothing better!" Toffee said, smacking her lips loudly. -"My mouth fairly waters!" - -Marc reached one of the crates down and, placing it on the floor, pried -up one of the slats. He reached out two bottles and handed one toward -Toffee. - -"Well, well," he cried with studied joviality. "Look what I found!" - -Toffee clapped her hands after the manner of a witless child. "Oh, -goody!" she gurgled. "Some of that wonderful fine old tangy whiskey! -Just what I hoped for!" She took the bottle, opened it and took a -swallow. She blanched and covered her face with her hand. "Ugh!" she -rasped. - -"Yes, sir!" Marc said, lifting his bottle to his mouth. "Some of the -finest, oldest and tangyest fine old tangy whiskey there is." He rolled -his eyes in broad anticipation. "Yes, sir, bedad!" - -"It's a good thing you said that before you tasted the stuff," Toffee -hissed between clenched teeth. "You'd never have the breath afterward." - - * * * * * - -The warning came too late; Marc had already downed a large swallow. He -closed his eyes and gagged. Like Toffee, however, he forced a frozen -smile through his tears and rubbed his stomach luxuriously. "Umm-umm," -he managed to say. "It sure hits the spot." - -"And leaves it in ruins," Toffee agreed. "They must cook this stuff up -in old lye vats." - -"Keep drinking," Marc whispered urgently. "And look happy." - -"Okay," Toffee said grimly. "I'll die with a smile on my face, but -it'll be the lie of the century." She lifted the bottle gamely and -drank. "Oh, boy!" she rasped through drawn lips, "this whiskey is the -answer to a drunkard's prayer." - -Marc drank dutifully in turn. "You said it!" he announced, tears -streaming from his eyes. "It's delicious!" - -"I could go on drinking it forever," Toffee wheezed, taking another -gulp and clutching her throat. "It's so smooth!" - -"Makes you want more and more," Marc said, shaking his head to clear it -after a third libation. "It gives you a real boost." - -"Let's not carry it too far," Toffee whispered. "If I drink any more of -this mange medicine I won't be able to hit the barnside of a broad." - -"Broadside of a barn," Marc corrected her weakly. "But you're right. -We'd better make the pitch while we're still conscious." - -Toffee nodded and made a great show of registering happy inspiration. -"Say," she cried, "you know who would just love this whiskey?" - -"No," Marc replied like the second part in a minstrel skit. "Who?" - -"George!" Toffee said. "You remember good old George?" - -Marc nodded vigorously. "Wouldn't he be just crazy about whiskey like -this?" - -"He certainly would. Crazy mad, he'd be. Isn't it too bad he's not -here?" Then Toffee brightened. "But perhaps he is! You never can tell -about good old George." - -"But when we were talking to him earlier he didn't answer." - -"Perhaps he misunderstood something one of us said," Toffee suggested. -"Maybe he didn't understand our type of humor and got offended. You -know, like when I said I was going to gouge his eyes out? A harmless -remark to most people, but perhaps not so to good old George." - -"True," Marc said sagely. "George always was sensitive." He glanced -around the room. "George?" he called. "If you're here, old man, how -about having a drink with us? If we said anything to hurt your feelings -we certainly didn't mean to." - -He paused to listen. There was a hesitant shuffling across the room. - -"Well ..." a voice said uneasily. - -Marc and Toffee exchanged glances of triumph. - -"You mustn't miss out on this, old man," Marc cajoled. "You really -mustn't." - -"And it will make such a nice friendly gesture," Toffee put in, "to -show that you forgive us our thoughtless little jibes." - -"Well," the voice returned, a shade less hesitant. "I am a little dry." - -"Of course you are," Marc said jovially, "and we have the very thing to -bring you comfort and contentment. Just step over here and I'll give -you this whole bottle." - -"No tricks?" George asked warily. - -"George!" Toffee said, thoroughly scandalized, "how can you even -entertain such a notion?" - -"Just to show you," Marc said, "why don't you stay invisible? You're -perfectly safe that way." - -"Okay," George agreed. "Just hold out the bottle." - -"Right-oh," Marc said and turned to Toffee. "Give it everything," he -whispered. Toffee nodded. - - * * * * * - -As Marc held out the bottle, Toffee sighted on the area in line with -his hand, on the principle that George, being a duplicate of Marc, his -head would be on the same level. The best strategy, she felt, was to -concentrate on this area as swiftly and violently as possible. She held -the bottle in readiness and when, a moment later, the bottle jogged in -Marc's hand, she was prepared. She swung as hard as she could in a wide -horizontal swipe. About half way, the bottle jarred to an abrupt stop -and shattered, spewing liquid and glass in all directions. This was -subsequently followed by a surprised moan and a heavy thudding sound in -the vicinity of the floor. - -"Got him!" Toffee cried jubilantly. "Smashed him right on the button!" -She dropped the jagged neck of the bottle daintily to the floor. - -"He's still invisible," Marc said worriedly. "I hope there'll be -developments." - -Developments came almost immediately, and they were well worth -watching, though hardly the sight for sore eyes. Marc's calculations -had been correct. Surprised, as it were, into unconsciousness, George -had completely lost control of his ectoplasm. The trouble, though, -was that instead of splashing out through his body all of a piece, it -trickled out in fits and starts. - -What appeared on the floor, under Marc's and Toffee's watchful eyes, -was not George in total, but a sort of jig-saw George in which many -of the vital pieces had been omitted. While one could be grateful for -George's head, there was bound to be a pang of regret for the neck -which had failed to appear. - -An arm lay to the left, with only a finger or two to indicate that it -had once blossomed a hand. Had there ever been an expression to the -effect that half a torso was better than none, George had disproved -it beyond measure; a torso, apparently severed from the collar bone -to the mid-riff was so much worse than no torso at all as to be -positively hair-raising. A random foot here, an errant knee cap there -only garnished the over-all picture of hideous human butchery. With a -shudder of revulsion, Toffee turned from the awful sight. - -"Leave it to George," she said, "just leave it to that monster to be as -revolting as possible." - -"I don't suppose it's really his fault," Marc said fairly, "but I wish -he were invisible again." - -It was at this moment that the congressman and his henchman, having -completed their discussion in the front of the warehouse, arrived at -the door of the storeroom and fitted a key to the lock. - -"Duck!" Toffee said. "Get behind those crates!" - -"What about you?" - -"I'm going to get my invention back. Besides they can't hurt me, and -the important thing is to give you a chance to escape." - -"Okay," Marc nodded and faded into the dimness behind the crates. - - * * * * * - -Toffee moved to the nearest stack of boxes, boosted herself atop them -and leaned back in an attitude of relaxed languor. She watched from -the corner of her eye as the door swung open and the congressman and -the thug advanced into the room. She lifted her gaze dreamily to the -ceiling and began to hum quietly to herself. - -"There she is, boss," the thug said. "There's the dame, up there." - -"My word!" Congressman Entwerp said. "Where did Pillsworth ever pick -her up?" - -"In a Turkish bath, I guess, before they passed out the towels." - -Toffee turned slowly and observed the two with heavy disdain. - -"Please be quiet," she drawled, "you're disturbing my meditations." - -"Where's Pillsworth?" the thug asked. - -Toffee shrugged. "Somewhere around, I suppose." - -"Okay, sister," the thug growled, "cut out the jazz. Where is he?" - -"You're sure you want to know?" - -"We insist," Congressman Entwerp said. - -"Then just step nearer," Toffee said with an airy wave, "and feast your -eyes. You will find Mr. Pillsworth--more or less--on the floor, just to -the right of these boxes. I'm sure you'll excuse him if he doesn't rise -to greet you." - -Warily, the two men edged closer. Then suddenly the thug, catching -sight of George in his disconnected condition, stopped short. His mouth -worked soundlessly, and his eyes rolled loosely in their sockets. The -congressman, not yet aware of George, looked at him. - -"What's the matter with you?" he asked shortly. "Why are you standing -there making faces? Stop that and...!" - -The tirade ended abruptly as the congressman's gaze fell to George. He -lost his breath in a thin wheeze. - -For a long moment the two men simply goggled, then slowly they turned -away. - -"You fool!" the congressman screamed. "I only told you to finish him -off, not to hack him up into cutlets!" - -"But I didn't!" the thug said shakenly. "He was all right when I locked -him in here." - -"Then, who...!" - -Together, the two of them turned and regarded Toffee with incredulous -eyes. Toffee returned their stares with innocent directness. - -"Yes, gentlemen?" she murmured. - -"Did you...?" the congressman began, then broke off with a shudder. - -"Did I what?" Toffee asked demurely. - -"What the congressman means," the thug said in a whisper, "is did -you ... do _that_?" - -"Oh, that," Toffee said. She returned her gaze thoughtfully to the -ceiling as though trying to remember. Finally she shook her head. "No," -she said. "I'm certain that's not one of my jobs. Too messy." - -The men gaped. - -"Holy smoke!" the thug quavered. "What happened to him?" - -"Who knows?" Toffee shrugged. "Maybe he has some horrible disease. I -figure it's his business." - -"Good God!" the congressman breathed. "We've got to get him off our -hands. We'll have to be careful, though. The hospital has the entire -police force out looking for him. It's on the radio. If we were caught -with him in that condition the party wouldn't like it." - -"Nobody would like it," the thug said. "Shall we dump him in the river?" - - * * * * * - -The congressman shook his head. "Too many patrolmen around. There must -be...." His voice trailed off into thoughtful silence. Finally he -nodded with decision. "We won't try to hide him. We'll deliver him to -the police just as he is--in an automobile crash. The girl too." - -"Huh?" the thug said. "How do you mean?" - -"It's simple enough. Pillsworth looks like a crash victim, so why don't -we just let him be one? Go get a sack or something to carry him out -in." He turned and moved toward the door. "I'll have Hank fix up one of -the cars." - -"Good night, boss," the thug said plaintively, following after him, -"you mean I've got to pick him up--with my hands!" - -The moment they were gone, locking the door after them, Toffee jumped -down from her perch and Marc appeared from the shadows. - -"Do you know who that was?" Marc asked excitedly. - -"The old bird with the sable hair-do?" - -Marc nodded. "It's Congressman Entwerp. I should have known he was -behind this mess. And that isn't all; those crates of cheap whiskey are -just a front. Underneath there's enough bacteria culture to wipe out -the whole country. These boys are planning mass murder!" - -"Also individual murder," Toffee said. - -"What?" - -"They're going to arrange an auto crash. When the wreckage is sorted -out George and I will be prominent amongst the demolished extras." - -"Good grief!" - -"It's nothing to worry about," Toffee said. "After all, they can't -possibly kill me--or George either, for that matter. In the meantime -you can contact the police and see that they're arrested. There's -just one thing though; you're going to have to get the police without -letting the police get you." - -"Huh?" - -"It seems the entire force is out scouring the city for you, and I get -the impression that they're supposed to rush you along to the operating -room without messing around with any conversation." - -"Golly," Marc said. "How am I going to work it? Even if I get a chance -to tell them about Entwerp, they'll just think I'm delirious." - -"Be your own bait," Toffee suggested. "Entwerp will be busy murdering -George and me. All you have to do is get the cops to chase you to -the scene of the crime so they can catch him red-handed. I'll see to -it that the door's left unlocked long enough for you to get out of -here...." She stopped as the key sounded again in the lock. "Anyway, -work it out as you go along, and I'll see you later..." - - * * * * * - -"What took so long?" the congressman demanded. He was standing by the -green sedan, holding the door open. - -"It was the dame," the thug said breathlessly. "When I turned to lock -up the storeroom, she let out a yip and took off. I had to chase her -all over the joint before I caught her." - -At his side, Toffee shook her head to get the hair out of her eyes. "I -just wanted a little exercise to get up the circulation," she said. - -"We certainly circulated," the thug agreed sourly. "All over the place." - -"You didn't leave the storeroom open?" the congressman asked. - -"I went back and locked it." - -"I see you got Pillsworth in the car." - -"Yeah," the thug said. "But he handled awful funny, like he was all -strung together with invisible wire. I had a job spreadin' him out in -the seat." - -The congressman looked at him sharply. "You've probably been drinking -that dummy whiskey again," he said. "Anyway, let's get going. The girl -will have to drive." - -"I don't know how to drive," Toffee said. "Besides, I haven't got a -license." - -"Never mind, sister," the thug said, "that's even better." He nudged -her toward the door of the car, as the congressman moved off into the -night. Toffee gazed inward at the dismembered George sprawled across -the seat. - -"Do I have to get in there with him?" she asked. - -"The boss doesn't want you to be lonesome," the thug said. - -"I'd rather be lonesome," Toffee said, but she got into the car anyway. - -The thug closed the door after her and leaned through the window. - -"Just so you'll know," he said, "I'd better explain. This car hasn't -any brakes, and the steering is fixed. It's okay now, but after a few -minutes it will break and the car will be out of control. We have it -timed out with the curve at the end of the speedway, the one called -Dead Man's Curve. By the time you reach that the wheel will be just -about as much good to you as a set of knitting needles. In other words, -you're going to drive due south with your foot to the floor and crack -up on the curve. No one's missed that curve yet and lived." - -"There's always a first time," Toffee said brightly. - -"Don't count on it, sugar. And just to make sure you do what you're -told, the congressman and me will be alongside in the congressman's -car. I personally will be holding a rod aimed at your head, so don't -get notions. Also, we want to be around to report the accident." - -Toffee nodded approvingly. "It only seems the sort of thing any good -citizen would do," she said. - -The gunman stared at her. "Too bad a good looking dame like you has to -be so wacky." - -"We all have our little flaws," Toffee said chattily. "That's life." - -"Aren't you even worried?" - -Toffee shook her head. "I've always wanted to learn to drive," she -said, smiling. - -"Oh, my God!" the thug moaned. "Maybe, it's best; you're sure to kill -yourself sooner or later anyway." - -"Of course," Toffee said, patting his hand. "I don't want you to blame -yourself. Just consider you're doing a public service." - - * * * * * - -Meanwhile, a lanky figure had emerged warily from the warehouse and -was lurking, in a twitchy sort of way, in the dimness of the alley. -Obscured in shadow, Marc had watched Toffee get into the green sedan, -the thug instructing her in the art of driving. He glanced anxiously -down the street, praying for a police car. - -A small coupe, with a man and woman inside, pulled up to the curb at -the end of the block, and the man got out and disappeared into the -telegraph office on the corner. But that was all. - -Marc jumped as he heard the green sedan start up. He turned to see a -black limousine, driven by the congressman, pull up beside it. The -thug crossed and got inside and a moment later the barrel of a gun -caught light from the window. Time was seeping out. - -Ducking from cover, Marc raced for the coupe and the waiting woman on -the corner. Reaching it, he threw the door open and jumped inside. The -woman, a faded blonde, pressed back against the seat with a startled -cry. Marc, however, was too relieved at finding the key in the ignition -to notice. - -He started the car, threw it into gear and set it in motion almost in -a single action. The woman's reaction to this was a shrill, braying -scream. - -"Please," Marc said distractedly. "Don't." The woman screamed again. -"Do you have to do that?" he asked annoyedly. - -"I have to do something, don't I?" the woman enquired wretchedly. "I -can't just sit here, can I?" - -"I don't see why not," Marc said, peering down the street intently. "It -doesn't help anything to scream like that." - -"It helps me plenty," the woman retorted hotly. "When naked men come -leaping into a lady's car and driving her off to God knows what, it -gives her a great satisfaction to scream." As though to prove her point -she paused to scream again. "Anyway, it makes her feel a hell of a lot -better." - -"I don't see why," Marc said with rising irritation. - -"Well, put yourself in my place," the woman snapped. "What would you -do if a naked man came leaping into your car?" - -"Naked men don't leap into my car." Marc said self-righteously. "I -wouldn't let them." - -"Are you suggesting that I invite naked men to come leaping into my -car?" the woman asked frigidly. "I'll have you know...." - -"The way you carry on about it," Marc said, "one just automatically -draws his own conclusions. One pictures a whole procession of naked men -just waiting their turn to leap into your car, you're such an authority -on these occasions." - - * * * * * - -For a moment the blonde fell into a sulky silence. She glanced out the -window at the rapidly passing scenery. - -"What I want to know," she said at length, "is what is my husband going -to say." - -"Not knowing your husband," Marc said, "I'm in no position to guess. If -I were you I'd judge by the way he's expressed himself on other similar -occasions." - -"There you go again," the woman said, "insulting me. Where are you -taking me?" - -"I'm not taking you anywhere," Marc said. "I'm taking myself. You just -happened to be here." - -"Oh," the woman said, not, it seemed, without a touch of -disappointment. There was another lapse of silence. - -"Do you know where there's a cop?" Marc asked, after a few more blocks. - -"If I did," the woman said, "I'd be with him instead of you. What do -you want with a cop?" - -"I've got to find one," Marc said anxiously. "It means everything." - -By this time the woman had resigned herself to the unhappy fact that -she was out for a spin with a raving lunatic. She nodded sagely, as -though agreeing with this last remark entirely. - -"Sure," she said, "sometimes I feel that way myself. Cops are -everything. It just sweeps over me all of a heap." - -"What sweeps over you?" Marc asked absently. - -"Cops," the woman said. - -"Do you think you ought to be making these little confessions to a -total stranger?" Marc asked distastefully. "Or do you mean your husband -is a cop?" - -"Of course not," the woman said. "My husband is a butcher. What's that -got to do with it? I was just saying that sometimes cops just seem to -surge over me." She giggled with nervous desperation. "A sort of blue -serge, you might say." - -"Well," Marc said, "since you seem to know all these cops so well, you -ought to be able to tell me where they hang out." - -"I don't know all these cops," the woman said. - -"You mean they're a bunch of total strangers?" Marc asked, thoroughly -shocked. "My word!" - -"Couldn't we just drop the subject?" the woman asked defeatedly. "I'm -all confused somehow." - -"I should think you would be confused," Marc agreed. His voice trailed -away on a rising inflection as he spotted a police car parked at the -curb across the street. "Cops!" he breathed. He glanced ahead. "You see -that green sedan up ahead with the black limousine beside it?" - -The woman nodded vaguely. "The one that just cut up over the sidewalk? -What about it?" - -"Keep your eye on it," Marc instructed, "while I get the cop's -attention. It's a matter of life and death." - - * * * * * - -The green sedan, as it turned out, was eminently worth keeping an -eye on. Toffee, beleaguered as she was with the mechanics of keeping -the vehicle in motion, had come upon other problems. Early in the -game, feeling vague stirrings at her side, she had looked around to -see George's dismembered head yawn thickly and open its eyes. Then, -as if this wasn't loathsome enough, a set of fingers wriggled to the -edge of the seat, gripped it and boosted the halved torso around so -that the disjointed feet dropped to the floor. George, rising from -unconsciousness had hauled himself into a sitting position. Toffee -looked on this development without favor. - -"Stay down, George," she hissed. "Get back where you were." - -The head swiveled around hideously, a wounded look in its eyes. - -"Oh, it's you, is it?" he said sadly. "You hit me." - -"And I'll hit you again," Toffee promised, "if you don't get down." - -George merely looked baffled at this. "Where are we goin'?" he asked. - -"To an accident," Toffee said. - -George's face brightened. "Was Marc in it?" he asked. - -"It hasn't happened yet," Toffee explained. "We're going to be in it, -you and I. In fact, we're the whole accident." - -"Huh?" George said, edging up a bit. "Us?" - -"That's right," Toffee nodded. "They figure we know too much." - -"Too much about what?" - -"About this subversive business," Toffee said. "They think we know -their plan to overthrow the government." - -"So they're going to kill us in an accident?" - -"Uh-huh." - -"Aren't you scared?" - -Toffee shrugged. "Why should I be? I'm a product of Marc's mind. I -can't possibly be destroyed unless he is. And he's perfectly safe." - -"He is?" George said, his voice heavy with disappointment. "Why don't -these people want to kill him?" - -"They think they are killing him," Toffee said. "They think you're -Marc. In fact they believe you're already dead." - -"What!" George cried. "You mean I'm acting as a decoy to save Marc's -life?" - -Toffee nodded smugly. "Some onions, eh, George?" - -"Stop the car!" George shouted. "Let me out!" - -"No brakes," Toffee said. She nodded toward the limousine. "Besides, -they won't let me. You'd better get down in the seat or they'll think -it's funny." - -"I hope they do," George said sullenly. "I hope they think it's funny -as hell and do something about it. It's so damned unfair." And with -that he leaned across Toffee, jutted his head out the window and began -baying in the direction of the limousine. - -"Stop that!" Toffee said. "It sounds awful." - - * * * * * - -George swiveled his frightful head around in her direction. "It -should," he said. "It's the _Torment Lament_. I learned it in the -Moaning Chorus and it's guaranteed to drive you mad in nothing flat." -He turned back to the night and the limousine and sent his voice -wailing into the wind. - -It was an effort that was not lost on its audience. The occupants of -the limousine looked around sharply with horrified eyes. - -"Jesus in Heaven!" the thug gasped. - -At his side the congressman was so taken with the fearsome recital that -he completely forgot he was driving. As the car careened dangerously, -the thug reached out and pulled the wheel. - -"Isn't it awful, boss?" he breathed. - -"Awful doesn't begin to tell it," the congressman choked. "It's--it's -_awful_!" - -"Yeah. That's what I mean to say." - -"How can anything sound like that?" the congressman asked hauntedly. - -"If it can look like that," the thug said, "I guess it shouldn't have -no trouble soundin' like that." - -"And look at that girl, will you? She's actually talking to the filthy -thing." - -"She looks plenty hot under the collar." - -"Why not? I'd be sore as hell myself." - -"When do we get to the curve, boss?" - -"I don't know," the congressman said. "But I can't wait. The sooner -that car crashes and takes that frightful thing with it the better." - - * * * * * - -Meanwhile, as the two cars skidded and reeled toward the appointed spot -of disaster, Marc continued to loiter several blocks behind. Having -deliberately cut across traffic in the middle of the block, he pulled -up beside the police car and leaned out the window. - -"I just cut across traffic!" he called out. - -The cop behind the wheel left his conversation with his companion and -observed Marc dubiously. - -"So what?" he asked. "You want me to give you a gold star on your -driver's license?" - -"I don't have a driver's license," Marc offered hopefully. "What are -you going to do about it, you big, thick-headed slob?" - -The cop turned back to his partner. "A kidder, we've got here," he -said. He turned back to Marc. "Beat it, comedian, you and your girl -friend take off." - -"Aren't you going to chase me?" Marc asked. "I'm a lawbreaker." - -"Move along, chum," the cop drawled, "before I sell you a ticket to the -orphan's picnic." - -"But you've _got_ to chase me," Marc said urgently. - -"No I don't, friend," the cop said. "I've got to sit here and listen -for radio leads on this goofy Pillsworth guy." - -"But that's me!" Marc said. "I'm Pillsworth!" - -The cop looked at him with forced patience. "Sure, sure," he said. "And -I'm Miss Atlantic City. Beat it." He turned back to his companion. - -"What if I told you I knew where a murder was going to happen?" Marc -ventured. - -The cop looked around. "You're just full of news, aren't you?" he said, -and turned away again. - -For a moment Marc sat in silent indecision. Then he turned to the -blonde. - -"Why don't you scream?" he asked. - -"Why should I?" the woman asked interestedly. "Do you really know where -a murder's going to happen?" - -"You said screaming made you feel good," Marc suggested. - -"I feel fine," the woman said. "I always do with a lot of stuff going -on. Who's going to get murdered?" - -Marc glanced desperately from the woman to the cops and back again. A -determined look came into his eyes. He cautiously extended two fingers -to the woman's thigh. "I'm sorry," he said, and pinched as hard as he -could. - - * * * * * - -The results were everything to be wished for--and more. Stiffening in -her seat, the woman let out a bleat that surpassed even her previous -efforts. Even George might have envied the torment in her voice as it -soared, swooped, scaled the heights and dipped into soul-shattering -depths. At its completion, the blonde turned and took a clawing swipe -at Marc's face. - -Marc ducked. "That's the stuff!" he said happily, noting from the -corner of his eye that he had finally gained the undivided attention -of the police force. Pinching the blonde again and nodding his -satisfaction at the second chorus, he threw the coupe into gear, cut -across traffic and headed down the speedway. It was only a moment -before the wail of a siren mingled with the shrill vocalizations of -his companion. He pushed the gas feed to the floor. - -To the witnesses along the speedway, the pedestrians, the vendors, the -shop owners and just plain malingerers, the events of the evening were -never entirely clear. Some, judging simply by the volume of noise, -settled for the notion that what had passed was nothing more than an -overly exuberant wedding procession. The sticklers, however, rejected -this notion flatly, pointing to the significant details of the affair. - -Which, they demanded to know, was the wedding couple? Certainly it -couldn't have been the redhead and the wailing man in the green sedan; -certainly no bride--or at least very few--had ever used that kind -of language to her groom on the wedding night. And it took the most -wretched husband years to achieve the note of despair which this poor -fellow was loosing on the evening air. - -As for the black limousine, that was out. Though its occupants seemed -locked together in some sort of mad embrace, the arrangement appeared -to have its roots in terror rather than affection. - -The couple in the coupe that followed was even more difficult to wedge -into the picture of the young couple united. After all, wasn't she -screaming her lungs out and hammering on his head with both fists? - -As for the police who followed--and they probably knew the truth of the -matter--they looked shocked to the core. So there simply wasn't any -answer for it until the morning papers came out. - -The participants in the demented chase along the speedway, however, -were far too engrossed in their own problems to care for the conflict -they introduced into the lives of innocent bystanders. Toffee, for one, -could not have been less concerned; she was too mad at George. - -"Stop that caterwauling!" she yelled. "Stop it, you idiot." - - * * * * * - -George pulled his disconnected head inside the window and eyed Toffee -owlishly. His other parts adjusted themselves and the head sank into -Toffee's lap. There, gazing up at her, it lazily crossed its eyes and -began to whimper piteously. - -"Ugh!" Toffee cried. "I'll go mad!" - -The head relaxed its face obligingly into an expression of -feeble-minded delight, letting its tongue loll loosely from the corner -of its mouth. - -"That's all!" Toffee screamed. "I'm getting out of here!" - -Without further consideration for the occupants of the limousine and -the approaching curve, she relinquished the wheel, threw the car door -open, and with one last agonized glance at the loathsome head, which -was now foaming prettily at the mouth, prepared to depart its company. -In the limousine this bit of action was not unobserved. - -"She's trying to get away!" the congressman yelled. "Stop her!" - -The thug turned to the window and looked. "Get back!" he hollered. "Get -back or I'll blast you!" - -"Go ahead," Toffee cried. "It'll be a positive pleasure next to what -I've just been through." - -"Okay!" the thug said grimly. "You asked for it!" - -His finger closed down on the trigger. It was just at that moment, -however, that the green sedan, no longer benefitted by a driver, -swerved toward the limousine, throwing Toffee back inside. The -congressman cramped the wheel of the limousine sharply to avoid a -crash. The gunman, thrown sharply against the door, fired wildly into -the night. From the rear there was the sound of screeching tires and -forced brakes. - -"Good night!" the congressman panted, righting the limousine as the -green sedan veered away again. "What did you hit?" - -"I think it was that coupe back there," the thug said, peering out the -window. "I must have hit a tire: it's out of control." - -"Good Lord!" the congressman yelled, "the curve's right ahead! We're -pinned in between them. We're going to crash. Everybody's going to -crash!" - -No sooner was this dire prediction out of the congressman's mouth than -it became a deafening reality. Ahead, the green sedan raced headlong -into the concrete embankment with a rending smash and almost literally -flattened itself into two dimensions. - -This was the signal for the two lesser crashes that followed. The -limousine engaged its radiator forcibly into the wreckage just in time -to receive a skidding broadside from the coupe. - - * * * * * - -A moment of silence followed, emphasized by the approaching scream of a -siren. The police car jolted to a stop and the two cops ran forward to -the scene of destruction. They reached the coupe first. - -"Here!" the first cop said. "What's going on?" - -The faded blonde jutted her head out of the window. "He blew out my -tire!" she rasped. "Not to mention all that pinching!" - -"Pinching?" the cop asked curiously. "What kind of pinching, lady? -Where?" - -"All kinds of pinching," the woman said evilly. "Everywhere." - -The cop peered at Marc. "Why's he dressed in that nightshirt?" - -"How should I know?" the woman said. "Maybe he thinks he's cute or -something." - -The cop leaned closer. "Here, you," he said, "why are you dressed like -that?" - -"I'm tired," Marc said exhaustedly, "and I want to go to bed. I had a -little drink about an hour ago...." - -"Stop that now," the cop barked. "No nonsense." - -"But it's all perfectly true," Marc said. - -The cop started to speak further, but he caught sight of the -congressman and his companion climbing out of the limousine and tore -himself away. - -"There are people dying in that car!" the congressman shouted -tragically, hurrying forward. "It's awful, officer!" - -"All maimed and cut up," the thug put in. "Loose heads and legs and -stuff all over the place." - -"Have you seen them?" the policeman asked. - -"Well, they must be," the congressman put in quickly. "How could it be -otherwise? The man in the car is Marc Pillsworth. I saw him just before -the crash." - -The policeman did a take. "Yeah?" - -"Sure," the thug said excitedly. "Only now he's all cut up--loose head -and arms and...!" - -"Shut up," the congressman snapped. - -"They might still be alive," the cop said. "We've got to do something -about it." - -"Indeed we do," the congressman said. "Perhaps we can assist them." - -"Come on," the cop said. "You can give a hand." - - * * * * * - -Dutifully the three turned to the sedan. They turned and then stopped -with a harmonized gasp, the cop taking the bass. In the moment of -their turning there had been a sudden movement in the car and the -door had swung partially open. In the opening there appeared a leg of -provocative shapeliness. - -"A leg!" the thug shuddered. "I told you!" - -"A dame's leg," the cop breathed. "And just think what the rest of her -must have been like with a leg like that! Just imagine...!" He sucked -in his breath as the leg began to show unexpected signs of life. It -quivered, turned and was quickly joined by a mate of equal perfection. -It was only a moment before Toffee appeared in total, quite unmarked. -Her mood, however, was hostile. Quitting the ruined car she turned back -to the door and thrust her head inside. - -"Of all the beastly, rotten, evil-minded, stinking things to do to a -girl!" she snapped. "Come out of there you slimy-souled son of Satan -and fight like a man. I'll teach you to make foul passes at a girl when -she is stuck under a clutch. I'll show you...!" - -"Good gosh!" the cop said. "Who's she talking to?" - -"She must be hysterical," the congressman said, thoroughly shaken. -"Probably got a crack on the head and isn't accountable for what she's -saying." - -"That's certainly no way to talk to the dead," the cop said. - -"It's no way to talk to the living," the thug said. "If she hauled off -at me like that I'd rather be dead." - -"The poor child's obviously insane," the congressman said firmly. -"There's no question about it." - -Meanwhile Toffee was still at it. "Come out of there, you hulking -lout," she grated, "before I come in there and drag you out by your -ears!" - -"Poor little thing," the cop said sadly. "She really believes Mr. -Pillsworth can come out of that car. She refuses to believe he's dead." - -By now Toffee had stepped forward and yanked the door all the way -open. As the three in the background stared in varying degrees of -apprehension, a thin figure in a brief linen gown crawled out on its -hands and knees. The congressman swayed slightly as though about to -faint. - -"You look more natural down on all fours, you beast," Toffee rasped. -"I ought to kick you right in the slats. Get up and try to face me if -you've the nerve!" - - * * * * * - -Apparently the shock of the accident had given George's ectoplasm a -further jolt for now he was completely materialized. He looked up at -Toffee ruefully and got to his feet. - -"I was only trying to get you loose," he said. - -"The way you were pawing me was enough to get any girl loose," Toffee -said. "Just don't try it again." - -"Gawd a'mighty!" the thug whispered. "Pillsworth!" - -"Pillsworth?" the cop said. "But that's the same guy who was pinching -the other dame in the coupe. My gosh! how he gets around!" - -Just then the other policeman, who had retreated to the background, -arrived on the scene with Marc and the blonde in custody. - -"Hey," he said, "I caught this creep on the creep. He was trying to -sneak out." - -The cop looked quickly at Marc, then back to George. "It's the same -guy!" he said. "Which one of you birds is Pillsworth?" - -Marc and George went smoothly into their routine of pointing to each -other in unison. - -"He is!" they said. - -The cop turned to Toffee. "Do you know which is which?" he asked. - -"Sure," Toffee said and nodded at George. "He's Pillsworth." - -"She's crazy," George retorted hotly. "She's as crazy as bedbugs in a -bathtub." - -"That's right," the thug put in. "She's a looney if there ever was one." - -Marc moved urgently to gain the cop's attention. "You've got to arrest -that man," he said, pointing at the congressman. "He's a subversive and -a murderer." - - * * * * * - -The congressman whirled about. "You must be insane, sir!" he rasped in -frantic denial. - -"_You_ must be," Marc said. "You must have been ripe for the hatch -years ago." - -"You're a fine one to talk," the blonde put in nastily. "Officer, this -man is off his rocker like a busted hobby horse. He's done nothing but -pinch me ever since we met." - -Toffee levelled her gaze at Marc. "What were you doing pinching that -tomato?" she demanded. "Just what were you getting at?" - -"Oh, don't be crazy," Marc said distractedly. - -"Oh, so I'm crazy, am I?" Toffee said, doubling her fists. - -"You sure are, sister," the thug put in. "You're the most hopped up -dame I ever saw." He turned to the cop. "She ought to be locked up." - -"Oh, yeah?" Toffee said. "At least I didn't put anyone in a busted car -and send them off to get killed. Officer, I want you to arrest that -killer." - -"Look, officer," Marc insisted, "you've got to take this man into -custody. He's a menace to the whole country." - -"If you take anyone in, officer," the blonde put in harshly, "make it -this skinny bimbo. Pinch him like he pinched me." - -The congressman moved in aggressively toward Marc. "You're making -slanderous accusations!" he blustered. "You should be committed to an -institution!" - -"You're crazy!" Marc raged. - -"_You're_ crazy!" the blonde screeched. - -"_You're_ crazy!" Toffee hollered at the blonde. - -"_You're_ crazy!" the thug insisted moodily. - -The cop turned dizzily to his companion and held out a palsied hand. -"Hurry!" he pleaded, "call the wagon, and let's take the whole bunch of -them in. In another minute _I'm_ going to be crazy!" - - * * * * * - -The morning sun poured through the high windows of the courtroom, -wasting its brightness on a scene of sullen dementia. Judge Carper's -heavy face had achieved a shade of dyspeptic vermillion in record time -this morning. Even the flies clung to the walls in muted terror as his -gavel banged on the substantial wood of the bench and set the room -atremble. - -"Silence!" the judge roared. "Silence, damnit! And if one more -defendant makes just one more crack about the sanity of any other -defendant I'll lock the whole crew of you up and melt the key down for -a watch fob." He ran his shaking hand over his forehead. "Besides, so -far I don't even know which ones of you are the defendants and which -are the complainants." He turned to the policeman. "Do you know?" - -"I'm not sure," the cop admitted uneasily. "I think they're all both." - -"Both what?" the judge asked confusedly. - -"Both defendants and complainants. As far as I can tell everybody's mad -as hell at everybody else. It sort of goes around in a circle." - -"And I'm burned up at the lot of them," the judge said malignantly. -"Who are those two over there without any clothes on?" - -"I think they lost their clothes in the crash," the cop said vaguely. -"The guy is really two guys, so it's hard to tell." - -"What?" - -"There are really two guys like that," the cop said. "Dressed alike." - -The judge peered across at Marc with deep speculation. "I only see one -of him," he said dryly. - -"The other one disappeared," the cop said, casting down his eyes. -"He--well, sort of evaporated." - -"Evaporated? What are you talking about?" - -"It's a fact, your honor. It happened on the way in. The only way I can -explain it is that one minute he was there and the next he just sort of -melted away." - -"Rooney," the judge said, "have you lost your wits?" - -"It wouldn't surprise me, judge," the cop sighed. "Everyone else has. -Why not me?" - -"There's only one man there, Rooney," the judge said harshly. "And -judging by those skinny legs of his, maybe not even that." - -"Yes, sir." - -"Are you bucking for another vacation, Rooney, is that it?" - -"Well, your honor, I do feel tired. It seemed to come over me all of a -sudden, after I ran into all those people." - -"All right, we'll see what can be done. In the meantime let's have -no more of this falderol about one man being two, only one of them -evaporated." - - * * * * * - -"Yes, your honor," Rooney said, greatly saddened. "There's only one -man. I guess I was mistaken." - -"Or drunk," the judge murmured sourly and turned his gaze to the -assortment before him. "Now what happened with this gang?" - -"They were all in a wreck that involved three cars. The young lady in -the underskirt was driving the first one. She claims that the dark man -with the scar tried to murder her by forcing her to drive a car with a -broken steering gear." - -"What does he say?" - -"He says the young lady is mentally unstable and of low character. It -seems that he and the congressman observed her in the car for some time -before the crash. They say that her behavior was most erratic, that she -wailed and shrieked and at one point tried to abandon the car in full -motion." - -"How else can you abandon a car?" the judge said sharply. "You have to -be in full motion." - -"I mean the car was in full motion." - -"I see. Where was this gentleman and the congressman while they were -doing all this observing?" - -"They were in the second car. The congressman was driving. The dark man -is his body-guard. He was cleaning his gun at the time and that's how -he happened to shoot the third car, although the young lady insists he -was trying to shoot her." - -"I think I've lost the thread," the judge said foggily. "Who was in the -third car?" - -"The man with the skinny legs who says he isn't Pillsworth, and a -blonde woman." - -"He says he isn't Pillsworth and a blonde woman?" the judge asked, his -eyes loosening in their sockets. "Why should he say a thing like that?" - -"No, no," the cop said earnestly, "he just says he isn't Pillsworth." - -"Then he admits to being a blonde woman?" the judge gasped. "He must be -mad!" - -"No," the cop said, "he doesn't admit anything about being a blonde -woman." - -"Then he denies being a blonde woman," the judge said with relief. "I -wish you'd give me this story straight. Who accused him of being a -blonde woman in the first place?" - -"No one," the cop said, almost tearfully. "He was only accused of being -Pillsworth." - -"Pillsworth? You mean the fellow the hospital's looking for? Who said -he was Pillsworth?" - -A look of doom came into the cop's eyes. "The--the other one, your -honor," he said. - -"The other what?" the judge glowered. "Stop being evasive and answer my -questions." - - * * * * * - -Rooney swallowed fatefully. "The other Pillsworth," he answered. "He -accused Pillsworth of being Pillsworth--that is unless he's Pillsworth -himself. Only he melted away so I guess we'll never really know. The -blonde woman insists she can't identify him." - -There was a dreadful silence as the judge tapped the palm of his hand -with the gavel. He lifted his gaze to the ceiling then levelled it -slowly on Rooney. - -"So we're back to the blonde woman again, are we?" - -"I'm afraid so," Rooney admitted weakly. "That's her over there, -looking mad." - -"I had hoped we were through with the blonde woman," the judge said -acidly. "I thought we'd washed the blonde woman up." - -"No, your honor, I'm afraid not." - -"This isn't the same blonde woman that Pillsworth denies being, is it?" - -"No, sir." - -"Does she deny that she's Pillsworth, is that it?" - -"No, sir," Rooney sighed hopelessly. "She's just a blonde woman. She -refuses to give her name because her husband's a butcher." - -"Is she a defendant or a complainant?" - -"A complainant," the cop said. "She said that Pillsworth stole her car -and pinched her. That is if he's Pillsworth, and he denies it." - -"Don't you mean he pinched her car?" - -"No, sir. He stole her car, but he pinched her--on the thigh." - -"My word!" the judge said. - -The cop nodded. "She wants to sue someone, only since there were two -of them she doesn't know which one did the pinching. She can't be sure -whether it was this Pillsworth or the other one--if you follow my -meaning." - -The judge paled. "Are you being deliberately cryptic, Rooney, or is it -simply that you can't see your way clear to be clear, if I make myself -clear." - -"I'm afraid I don't follow you, your honor." - -"Just a taste of your own medicine, Rooney," the judge said vengefully. -"How do you like it?" He turned his gaze moodily on the blonde. "About -this blonde...?" - -"Yes, your honor?" - -"She gets everything all snarled up. Every time she enters the picture -it ceases to make sense. Do you suppose this would all clear up if I -just had her thrown out of court?" - -"I don't think so. With or without her, things are snarled up just the -same. I've never seen so much snarling in all my life; these people -just don't seem to like each other." - -"What about this fellow who denies he's Pillsworth?" the judge asked. -"Is he the only pure defendant in the bunch?" - -"Oh, no, your honor. He's the biggest complainant of the lot. And he's -far from pure. He's accusing the congressman of being the head of a -gang of subversives who are planning to kill the entire population with -bacteria." - - * * * * * - -The judge leaned across the bench, plainly scandalized. "The -congressman!" he gasped. "Why Congressman Entwerp was a classmate of -mine!" - -"Yes, your honor. And he's threatened suit against this fellow for -slander." - -"Good," the judge said. "Have this Pillsworth or whoever he is brought -before the bench. Obviously, he's a low criminal type. It sticks out -all over him." - -The cop nodded and turned in Marc's direction. "You," he said. "The -judge will hear you." - -Across the room, however, Marc gave no sign of hearing. Instead, he was -gazing intently at the vacant chair next to his own. On his face was an -expression of anxious annoyance. - -"Now, look, George," he said, "You owe it to humanity to show yourself -and help get this mess cleared up. Why not be a good loser for a -change?" - -The empty chair shifted, just perceptibly, with an air of complacency. - -"Maybe they'll hang you," George replied hopefully from thin air. - -"Don't be silly," Marc said. "There's no reason why they should. Come -on, now, be a good fellow and help get this over with." - -"Oh, I'm going to help get it over with," George said pleasantly. "When -I'm through, they'll lower the boom on you so hard you'll be the first -man in history to be buried in an envelope." - -Just then Toffee leaned forward and touched Marc's arm. "The judge -wants to speak to you," she said. "Come on, let's go." - -Marc glanced around. "Did he call you too?" - -"Well, no," Toffee admitted, "but I'm an interested party. I want to -see that you get fair treatment." - -"Couldn't you just stay out of it?" Marc pleaded. "Couldn't I just -handle this myself?" - -"Nonsense," Toffee said. "You need me. Come on, the old gaffer's -beginning to look apoplectic again." - -"Oh, all right," Marc sighed. Getting up he followed Toffee to a -position before the bench. The judge glowered down at them critically. - -"So glad you finally found you could come," he said. - -"Thank you," Toffee beamed. "It's nice of you to have us." - -The gavel barked irritably. There was silence until the judge's -eyebrows ceased to twitch. - -"What are you doing here?" the judge enquired with forced composure. -"Who called you forward?" - -"Lots of people have called me forward," Toffee said, "but that's just -talk, judge. I'm just impulsive." - -"Silence!" the judge said. "Good God, girl, no one asked you for any -sordid confessions. I just want to know what you're doing here?" - -Toffee nodded toward Marc. "I'm with him," she said. - -"Then he's the man who was with you in the green sedan?" - -"Oh, no." Toffee shook her head. "He's the other one." - -The judge blanched. "The other one?" he asked apprehensively. - -Toffee nodded. "They're exactly alike. Only this one is nicer. That's -why I switched." - -The judge raised his gavel warningly, and turned to Marc. "Are you -twins, sir?" - -Marc opened his mouth to speak, but before he could George's voice -sounded immediately behind him. - -"Do I look like twins, you thick-headed joker?" the voice asked. "And -if you must drink in the morning, for Godsake lay off the cheap stuff -so you don't see double. I always heard justice was blind but I didn't -know it was blind drunk." - - * * * * * - -There was an ominous silence in the court as the judge raked Marc with -a glance of pure loathing. "Are you deliberately in contempt of court?" -he asked. - -Again Marc started to speak and again the voice beat him to it. "In -it?" it said. "I'm fairly swimming in high octane contempt." - -The blonde who had been watching these proceedings with growing -agitation suddenly sprang from her chair. "That's him!" she yelled -hysterically. "I'm positive!" - -"Be quiet, you!" the judge barked. "I've had enough out of you!" - -"But he pinched me!" the blonde cried. - -"You're lucky that's all he did," the judge snapped. - -"But you don't know where!" - -The judge eyed her distantly. "With that lumpy figure of yours," he -said, "it could scarcely matter. Now, shut up." He turned back to Marc. -"I understand you've been making libelous remarks against Congressman -Entwerp." - -Marc looked around hopelessly, afraid to open his mouth lest George -would take over again. He compressed his lips into a thin line. - -"Speak up, man!" - -Marc looked up unhappily. "I--I--," he murmured fearfully. - -"What's the matter with you?" the judge asked. "Let's hear your -accusations against my good friend the congressman." - -"The congressman?" Marc ventured, then brightened as he noticed there -was no interference from George. "Oh, yes. The congressman must be -imprisoned at once, your honor. He's a national menace. He instigated a -propaganda program to dope the public against the threat of the foreign -powers. But worst of all, he has enough bacteria culture to murder the -entire population." - -"And what's more," Toffee broke in, "he pinched my gadget." - -The judge's eyes swiveled about hauntedly. "He _what_?" - -"Pinched my gadget," Toffee insisted. "The one with the button." - -"Now just a minute," the judge said a little wildly. "Wasn't it the -blonde woman who had her gadget pinched?" - -"Don't be silly," Toffee said. "She hasn't a gadget to be pinched." - -"She hasn't?" the judge said in a startled whisper. "What happened to -her gadget?" - -"I guess she just didn't have one in the first place," Toffee said. -"You can't just go out and buy them, you know." - - * * * * * - -The judge turned to the cop. "Do you know anything about why this -blonde woman doesn't have a gadget?" he asked interestedly. - -"Search me," the cop said. "I didn't know she didn't. Maybe it's -because her husband's a butcher. Maybe...." - -"Don't," the judge cried, shuddering. "Don't go on! I don't even want -to think about it." - -"Well, who cares about her gadget anyway?" Toffee asked bewilderedly. -"It's _my_ gadget I'm trying to tell you about." - -"And I don't want to hear about it," the judge said shortly. "This -court is no place for examination room discussions." - -"Or much of anything else," Toffee retorted angrily. "Especially -justice." - -"Look, judge," Marc put in desperately. "You've got to listen to me. -About all this bacteria...." - -"Bacteria?" the judge said, startled. "What about bacteria?" - -"It's a threat," Marc said. "It's got to be stopped." - -The judge nodded. "My dentist said the same thing the other day. Are -you a dentist?" - -"Of course I'm not a dentist," Marc said. "It's the congressman." - -"That's preposterous," the judge said. "The congressman isn't a -dentist, never has been. You're just trying to rattle me." - -Again, as Marc started to speak, the voice from behind took over. -"That's rich, that is," it slurred. "You were rattled the day you were -born, you old tosspot, and you've been getting balmier ever since. If -you have the brain of a gnat...." - -The gavel smashed down on the bench like the crack of doom. - -"Go!" the judge said. "Go and leave me alone! You're all trying to -drive me out of my mind." - -"With a mind like yours," Toffee said, "it would be a fast drive on a -kiddy car." - -"Go!" the judge screamed. "Go away!" - -Defeated by sheer volume, Marc and Toffee retreated back to their -chairs and sat down. The one next to Marc's scraped back a trifle of -its own volition. - -"You fiend!" Marc hissed at the empty chair. "That was a fine mess, -wasn't it?" - -"Glad you admire my work," George said complacently out of thin air. -"Isn't it remarkable how exactly alike our voices sound?" - -"Go to hell," Marc said sullenly. - -"If I do I'll probably meet you there," George said. "The old boy has -you marked down for a sanity test. I heard him say so as you left up -there. Somehow, it warms me to think of you locked up with a bunch of -homicidal maniacs. Who's to say what might happen to you?" - -The gavel rapped on the bench again, this time more calmly. - -"I'd like to speak to the congressman," the judge announced. "Not that -I put any stock in the ridiculous accusations of that black-hearted -nit-wit, but I would like to talk to someone rational for a change." - -Across the room, the congressman rose from his chair with portly -composure. - -"I'm happy for the opportunity to defend myself against the ravings of -this lunatic," he said smoothly, "though I'm certain the court hasn't -taken them the least bit seriously." - -"Of course not, congressman," the judge said grandly. "This court is -always fair and impartial. Step up and have a chair. I'm sorry I can't -offer you a drink during session, but perhaps we could have lunch -together somewhere?" - -"Good grief!" Toffee whispered. "They're carrying on like old -sweet-hearts." - - * * * * * - -The congressman smiled pityingly at Marc. "Actually, I have the -greatest compassion for our poor friend here," he said magnanimously. -"Who knows what dreadful experience drove him out of his senses?" - -"Why the old foghorn!" Marc hissed between clenched teeth. "He's got -enough gall to float a fleet." - -"As for his fantastic charges," the congressman continued, "they're -almost too silly to refute." He beamed on the judge. "I think you know -just about how subversive I am, your honor." - -The judge smiled broadly. "Call me Ralph," he said. - -"Okay, Ralph," the congressman smiled. "And about that bacteria -business; the only bacteria culture I have is home in the refrigerator. -I just happened to let some cheese go mouldy." - -The judge laughed immoderately. "Oh, Congressman!" he gasped, wiping -his eyes. "You always were a wit!" - -Toffee frowned her disapproval. "This is worse than television," she -said. - -"What am I going to do?" Marc said. "I can't let him get away with it. -I'll wind up in an asylum while he sells the whole country down the -river." - -Toffee nodded morosely. "We've got to think of something," she said. -"If they won't listen to sense, I guess the only thing to do is resort -to madness." - -"How do you mean?" - -"Trade seats with me," Toffee said. "I want to talk to George." - -"It won't do any good. He won't listen to sense any more than the rest -of them." - -"That's all right," Toffee said. "What I have in mind is more -nonsense--and a little hypnotism." - -"Hypnotism?" - -"Uh-huh. I told you I've been studying. Come on, trade." - - * * * * * - -As unobtrusively as possible they changed seats. Toffee settled -herself, crossed her legs with care, and turned to the vacant seat at -her side. When she spoke her voice was husky and confidential. - -"Look, George," she said, "I've been thinking...." - -The chair quivered interestedly. "Yes?" George's voice said out of -emptiness. "What about?" - -"You and me," Toffee said. "I've just been going over things in my -mind, and you know, George, I've really been sort of foolish." - -"How do you mean?" - -"Well take the way I always favor Marc against you. Suddenly it just -occurred to me that there's no logical reason for it. After all you're -just alike--except for a few little differences, of course." - -"Oh?" George said, a note of interest creeping into his voice. "What -differences?" - -"Well, for instance, you're more aggressive, George. You have a more -active, dynamic personality. You're the sort who knows what he wants -and goes out after it." - -"I suppose you could say that," George admitted. "What else?" - -"You're cleverer, too. Look at the way you've got Marc bottled up right -now, for example. He's a dead duck. In fact, to tell you the truth, -George, you make Marc look pretty sick. I'm beginning to think a girl -would be much better off with you." - -George cleared his throat. "You're sure you mean it?" he asked. - -"Of course I do," Toffee said. "Why wouldn't I, George? It's not just -that you're cleverer and more dominant than Marc, there are other -little things too, things only a woman would notice. Your eyes, for -instance." - -"My eyes?" - -Toffee nodded. "Uh-huh. Your eyes are ever so much more exciting than -Marc's. I don't know what it is, but there's a subtle difference. I -guess it's personality. I've always noticed it." - -"Oh, my eyes aren't all that good," George demurred. "Pleasant and -friendly, perhaps, but...." - -"Oh, much more than that," Toffee insisted. "Flashing and roguish." - -"You really think so?" - -"Certainly. That and more." Toffee paused for a moment, appeared -hesitant. "George...?" - -"Yes, Toffee?" - -"Would you show me your eyes? Just materialize them for a moment so I -can gaze into them?" - -"Do you really like them that much?" - -"Please, George...." - -"Well ... all right." - - * * * * * - -And so it was that the congressman, long distracted by a view of Toffee -fawning on a vacant chair, suddenly found himself staring across the -room at two disembodied eyes which lolled in mid-air, swiveling and -rolling about in a delirious attempt to be flashing and roguish. He -coughed in a strangled way and glanced around at the judge. - -The judge, had the congressman been astute enough to notice, had -suddenly gone white about the gills and showed a shifty disinclination -to meet his gaze. The truth of the matter was that the judge, similarly -baffled by Toffee's seductive attitude toward the chair, had also been -subjected to the nasty sight of George's grotesque eye exercises. He, -like the congressman, had experienced a feeling of giddiness at the -nape of the neck and decided against mentioning the incident. After -gazing upon a pair of air-borne eyes which have just crossed themselves -in their zeal to convey the charm of the rake, one is generally loath -to bring the subject up with anyone save the local psychiatrist. -However, had either gentleman had the least inkling of the mad delights -yet to come, they might have well bolted the room, shouting the news to -the world. - -The fact was that Toffee, in her endeavor to hypnotize George, was -meeting with extraordinary success. Having gazed into George's eyes -with his full cooperation it was only the matter of a moment before -the hapless shade was completely mesmerized. The eyes, under Toffee's -steady gaze, grew heavy, drooped, closed altogether, then reopened with -a slightly dazed appearance. It was not a pleasant sight, but Toffee -appeared to find satisfaction in it. - -Not so, however, the judge and the congressman. Watching these -developments with sidelong anxiety, they were sore put to it to -continue with the business at hand. - -"Yes, yes," the judge said vaguely, "you were telling me about this -blackguard who's been saying all these filthy things about you...?" - -"Eh?" the congressman said, starting. "_Oh!_ Oh, yes. This fellow, the -blackguard. I was saying that if he was half a man...!" - -The congressman got no further for it was precisely in this moment -that Toffee commanded George to materialize. There must have been, -however, a lack of authority in her tone, for the results fell short of -perfection. In fact, they fell short by exactly fifty percent. George, -starting at the top of his head, blossomed rapidly into being down to -the waist and there, quite devoid of his lower quarters, stopped. In -effect, no sooner did the congressman speak of half a man than the -order was filled to exact specifications. The congressman not only -stopped speaking, but stopped breathing as well. - - * * * * * - -A nervous hush fell over the courtroom, for by now several others had -begun to notice the half-portion George and were just as reticent to -mention the matter as either the congressman or the judge. The judge -clutched grimly to the bench for support and forced himself to look -away. He laughed a dry, cackling laugh. - -"Well, well," he said with feeble heartiness, "we mustn't fall into a -reverie, must we? You haven't half--I mean you haven't really begun to -tell me about these slurs against you, congressman." - -There was something markedly distraught in the congressman's expression -as he turned back to the bench. He fiddled with his tie, reached into -his pocket, took something out and began to finger it nervously. It was -Toffee's gadget. - -"Well," he babbled. "I was only saying that anyone with half--I mean -any mind at all would be able to see ... uh ... see...." - -As he spoke, the congressman turned the gadget absently in his hand. It -was on the fifth turn, when it was pointing directly at the judge, that -his finger inadvertently snagged against the button and shoved it to -one side. Instantly, as though the judge had never been there at all, -the bench was starkly and dramatically deserted, with only the gavel -left to mark its recent occupancy. The congressman gaped unbelievingly, -shook his head, closed his eyes, then opened them again. The judge was -still absent. - -The congressman turned to the others and found himself and the bench -the focal points for a sea of shocked eyes. He shuddered, pressed the -gadget self-consciously in a fit of nerves. The button snapped in the -opposite direction. In the next instant there was a shrill scream from -the faded blonde. - -Those in court turned in unison to find that the judge, just as -suddenly as he had departed, had reappeared. This time, however, he -was comfortably ensconced in the lap of the distraught blonde. In a -courtroom where many odd things had recently taken place, it was the -general concensus that when the judge of that court sneaks from the -bench, creeps up on the nearest blonde and hurls himself into her lap, -some sort of climax has been reached. A murmur of indignation rose -through the room. - -The blonde, for her part, agreed with the concensus, but did not stop -at an indignant protest. Doubling up her fist she belted the judge a -nasty blow in the eye. - -"You mangey old goat!" she shrieked. - -The congressman, by now in a veritable frenzy of nervousness, pressed -the button again. This time it was Toffee who disappeared. The murmur -in the court became still more disturbed. The congressman twiddled the -button in the opposite direction. - -Miraculously, Toffee appeared behind the bench in the judge's position. -She picked up the gavel and banged for attention. - -"The court will come to order!" she shrilled happily. "Knock it off, -everybody!" - - * * * * * - -A new kind of hush fell over the room. The congressman, slack-mouthed, -looked up at Toffee with the fearful look of a man who has finally -been backed to the wall on the question of his own sanity. The judge, -nursing a blow on the left ear as another was being addressed to the -right, looked up in horror. - -"Here!" he yelled. "Get off that bench!" - -"Get off that blonde!" Toffee shot back. "You ought to be ashamed of -yourself." She whirled about on the trembling congressman. "As for you, -you big fat traitor, I want a clean confession and no nonsense." - -"I don't have to talk to you," the congressman said uncertainly. "You -can't make me say anything." - -"Maybe not," Toffee said, "but what about your conscience?" - -"Conscience?" the congressman said uncertainly. - -"The term is unfamiliar to you?" Toffee said. "I'm not surprised. Let -me try to explain it to you. A guilty conscience can play awful tricks -on people." She eyed the congressman closely. "It can even make you -think you're seeing things, for instance." - -The congressman's eyes widened with an awful fear. "See--see things?" -he quavered. "What kind of things do you mean?" - -"Well," Toffee said reflectively, "say a man is responsible for another -man's murder. If his conscience gets ahold of him he may begin to see -that man as still alive. He may even see two such men, just alike. In -really bad cases the subject is likely to imagine one of the men in a -state of mutilation, say cut in half. Of course, that's pretty extreme." - -The congressman glanced compulsively in George's direction and turned -ashen. George, still at half mast, stared back at him with fixed -blankness. The congressman groaned. - -"Then there's the very worst sort of conscience," Toffee went on. -"That's when everything gets mixed up. Through a close study of -recorded cases, we find that the first attack commonly occurs when the -criminal is confronted with his crimes, usually publicly, as in a -court of law." - -"H--how do you mean?" the congressman whispered. "Whu--what happens?" - -"Well, everything begins to appear to be just the opposite of what it -really is. There is a famous English case in which the victim was so -far gone that he actually believed that the magistrate on the bench -had become a beautiful girl. He described the illusion, I believe, as -a gorgeous redhead with an exquisite figure and legs too perfect to be -true." Toffee laughed gaily. "Can you imagine anyone getting themselves -looped up to that extent?" - -The congressman forced a laugh that had all the light-hearted -spontaneity of a coffin lid being pried up at midnight. "That boy was -really gone, wasn't he--your honor?" - -"Call me Ralph, old man," Toffee said. - -"Of course, Ralph, old boy," the congressman said, blinking. - - * * * * * - -Experimatically, Toffee opened a drawer under the bench and withdrew a -large black cigar. Inserting this into her month, she leaned forward -toward the congressman. "Gotta light, friend?" she enquired. - -The congressman started back sharply at this new incongruity. It was a -moment before he recovered. - -"Sure," he said, taking out a lighter and waggling it beneath the -cigar. "Sure thing." - -Taking a healthy puff on the cigar, Toffee leaned back luxuriously and -blew out a cloud of smoke. "What say we adjourn?" she suggested. "We -can slip around to the club and cut up a few touches with the boys." - -"Well, all right," the congressman said, attempting a wan smile. -"But...." - -Toffee took the cigar from her mouth and leaned forward. "Yes, old man?" - -"About these cases," the congressman said. "That fellow in England...." - -"Oh, the one who thought the magistrate was a beautiful girl? It's -hard to believe, of course, but you must remember it was an extreme -case. The most severe ever recorded, I believe. The funeral was only a -formality, of course, since there wasn't even a scrap of him recovered. -Exploded, you know." - -"Exploded!" - -"That's right. The only thing of its kind in medical history. Poor -devil went right off. With a great whopping roar, they said. The -doctors said it was caused by repressed emotion." - -"Oh, Mona!" the congressman groaned. - -"Didn't mean to upset you, old friend," Toffee said. "It's an -unpleasant thing to talk about." - -"But couldn't they have saved him?" the congressman asked. "Suppose -they had gotten him to a psychiatrist or something before it happened?" - -"Actually it was much simpler than that," Toffee said ponderously. -"The fellow could have saved himself merely by confessing. Confession, -you know, is the only thing for a bad conscience. Highly recommended -by all the best authorities. Those church people are doing it all the -time--can't stop church people from confessing--and you never heard of -one of them exploding, did you?" - -"That's right," the congressman said hopefully. His gaze travelled out -the window, a clouded look of inner turmoil on his face. - -"It was just one of those things," Toffee put in. "One minute this -chap was standing there in court just as hail and hearty as beans and -the next--boom!--and the spectators were whisking him off their coat -sleeves and passing round the cleaning fluid!" - -The congressman whirled about in a convulsion of anguish. "I confess!" -he blurted. "I confess _everything_!" - -"Not everything," Toffee said. "Leave the racy personal stuff for -another time." - -The congressman reached out the gadget and dropped it on the bench. -Toffee picked it up as he followed that contribution with a key. - -"There's the key to the storeroom," the congressman said, "and the -one to the private files. And here's a list of the members of the -organization." He started as Rooney stepped forward and took him by the -arm. - -"Take him away," Toffee said blithely. "Find him a cell with lots of -padding. And take his body-guard too." - - * * * * * - -As the congressman and the thug disappeared in the custody of Rooney, -Toffee mashed out her cigar, quitted the bench and proceeded across the -court where the blonde was still throttling the judge. - -"Better let him up, honey," she advised gently. "He's turning a very -nasty blue." - -The blonde stopped to consider the judge's complexion and let him drop -to the floor. - -"Loathsome old bore!" she hissed as he sat up and rubbed his neck, then -got to his feet and tottered off toward the bench. "That'll teach you -next time." - -Toffee moved on to Marc. "Well, don't just sit there," she said, "Let's -get at it." - -Marc looked up apprehensively. "At what?" he asked. - -"Everything." Toffee said spaciously. "On the town." - -"Haven't you had enough excitement?" Marc asked wearily. - -"Not of the right sort," Toffee said. "What I crave is soft lights and -wine and all that sort of elegant truck. Come on." - -"What about George?" - -"Oh, yes," Toffee reflected, "there is George, isn't there?" She -regarded the transfixed half-spirit thoughtfully. "It would serve him -right if we just left him here, cut off at the pockets. Still I don't -suppose it's the thing to do...." A look of inspiration came to her -face. "I know." - -Taking her gadget from beneath her arm, she levelled it at George and -pressed the button. Instantly George disappeared entirely. Toffee -replaced the instrument and turned to Marc. - -"There," she said brightly. "George in the handy pocket size, where he -can't do any harm. Now we're all set for a life of gin and sin, and no -interruptions." - -"Now, wait a minute!" Marc said. "We're not set for anything, much less -a life of gin and sin as you so pungently put it. Do I have to remind -you that I have a wife to think of?" - -"I don't care if you have a whole regiment of wives to think of," -Toffee said testily. "I've protected and preserved you and, by gum, -you're mine. At least right now. Your wife can just take her chances on -what's left." - -"If you continue with this scandalous talk," Marc said, shocked into -primness, "I'm going to be forced to get up and walk right out of here." - -"You take one step without me," Toffee warned, "and I'll break both -your legs." - -"Oh, well...." Marc sighed. - -"That's better," Toffee nodded. "Of course I'll need some clothes, -something terribly expensive and revealing...." - - * * * * * - -She broke off as the doors of the courtroom burst open and Julie, -followed by the three doctors from the hospital, charged down the aisle. - -"My God!" Marc cried. "Julie!" He swung around to Toffee. "Go away! -Vanish!" - -"I'm darned if I will," Toffee said. "I've stuck by you through all the -thin and now I want some of the thick of it." - -"Don't worry," Marc said miserably. "Just wait till Julie sees us; -things will get thick in a hurry." - -Even as Marc spoke the atmosphere began to congeal swiftly. Julie, -having caught sight of the curious tableau formed by Marc and the -scantily clad Toffee, jarred to a stop, digging her heels into the -floor. A sharp, enraged sound came from her lips. - -Julie, after her experience of the night before had recovered her -physical faculties, but her emotional condition was still skittish. -A wife, summoned to identify her dying husband, rather sets her mind -on a scene of tearful sighs and murmured remembrances, with perhaps -a touch of violin music in the background. When she finds her waning -spouse looking perfectly alive and perky and in close proximity to a -dangerous looking redhead, her bubble has a tendency to burst with a -considerable bang. - -"_Marc Pillsworth!_" Julie screamed. "Who is that woman!" And raising -her handbag aloft she proceeded forward with mayhem unmistakably number -one on her agenda. - -Groaning, Marc rose from his chair. "She's going to kill me!" - -Meanwhile, the doctors had also caught sight of Marc. - -"There he is!" the first doctor said. "We'd better close in on him -fast." - -"It's amazing," the second doctor mused. "The man must be living -sheerly on the energy of hysteria. He should have been dead hours ago." -He turned to the third doctor. "Do you have the chloroform ready?" - -The doctor nodded and exhibited a can and a large sponge. "Wait till -the Medical Association hears about this," he said excitedly. "They'll -never believe it!" - -Thus armed, the men in white pressed forward close in the wake of Julie. - -Marc retreated in confusion toward the bench. "They're all after me!" -he cried. "I can't stand much more of this. If just one more character -tries to kill me...!" - - * * * * * - -The doors of the court swung open and a tall, grim-lipped man barged -into the room and down the aisle. He was carrying a large meat axe. -Across the room the blonde leaped joyously from her chair. - -"Darling!" she yelled and ran to meet him. They came together in a -tight clinch just inside the gate. "How did you find me, honey?" - -"Bureau of Missing Persons," the man said cryptically. "Where is he?" - -"Who, sweet?" - -"This creep who kidnapped you. Point him out." - -The blonde glanced around. "That's him," she said, pointing, "the one -with all those people following him." - -The man observed Marc's retreating figure with a professional eye. "Not -much meat on him," he judged, "especially around the shank." He shoved -the blonde aside. "This'll only take a second." - -"Mother in heaven!" Toffee cried, "the whole population is out to get -you." She pulled Marc out of reach of Julie's bag as it made a broad -swipe at his head. "Come on, let's join the judge!" - -Together, they raced around the bench and started to mount to the chair. - -"Get away!" the judge screamed, taking in the ranks of Marc's -attackers. "Don't come up here!" - -"Sorry," Toffee said, leaping lightly up beside him and snatching up -the gavel. "This is total war!" - -Marc gaining the bench, turned his attention to Julie. "Please, dear!" -he cried. "There's nothing to be sore about!" - -"Oh, isn't there?" Julie gritted. "What about that naked little trull -you're with?" She hefted the bag anew. - -"Let me at him!" the enraged butcher bellowed from the flank. "I'll get -him if I have to hack that bench away around him!" - -In answer, Toffee brandished the gavel in a wide gesture of defiance -which terminated solidly on the side of the judge's nose. - -"Ouch!" the judge roared, grabbing his face with both hands. "Clear the -court!" - -"Hell!" the butcher yelled. "I'm going to smear the court with that -lousy kidnapper!" - -The siege of the bench raged, and it will always be a sterling -testimony to Julie's physical prowess that as she scaled the bench, the -lethal handbag never once ceased to twirl over her head; if it happened -to strike the judge more often than anyone else it was only because -her aim was deflected by her overwrought emotions. To Marc and Toffee, -however, the real menace lay in the butcher and his cleaver. Only by -the most adroit maneuverings with the gavel was Toffee able to delay -his murderous progress with a few strategic licks on the shins. - - * * * * * - -The doctors, on the other hand, gave themselves over more to calculated -strategy. While two of them tried to close in on Marc from the sides, -the chloroformist, can and sponge held ready, crept up from the rear. -They might have succeeded in this maneuver except for Toffee. The -redhead, seeing that time and speed were of the essence, abandoned her -attack on the butcher and sailed forward, the gavel raised in one hand, -the gadget in the other. Her plan was to dispatch the flankers with -a single action, then sweep on to overcome the third doctor with all -dispatch. The strategy, however, was too hastily conceived to be really -successful. - -Marc in an effort to avoid Julie's bag, leaped forward at just the -wrong moment. Throwing himself toward Toffee, he received the full -impact of both the gavel and the gadget, one to the ear. He reeled to -one side, stumbled and sprawled to the floor, shaking his head. - -"Oh, no!" he wailed, looking back reproachfully at Toffee. "Not you -too!" - -But Toffee didn't answer; she was far too surprised and pleased at the -sudden results of this little accident. In banging Marc over the head -with the gadget, she had inadvertently sprung the switch and introduced -George, completely restored to the last molecule, into the very center -of the proceedings. She only regretted she hadn't thought of it sooner -as she saw the attackers, in the confusion, turn on George in force. - -"Stay down," she hissed and dropped down lightly beside Marc. "While -George is standing in for you, let's get out of this." - -Marc rose to his knees, took in the new development and nodded. "This -way," he said, indicating a door behind the bench. "I saw the judge -crawling out this way a minute ago." - -Together they scuttled on their hands and knees to the door. Marc edged -it open, let Toffee through, then followed after. Safe, they turned -back to see how the battle was developing around the bench. - -George appeared to be finding himself at rather a rude disadvantage. -And it is entirely conceivable that the besieged spook might well -have been confused in that his last conscious moment had been the one -of promised amour just before Toffee hypnotized him. Now, suddenly -restored to awareness, instead of a fawning redhead, he found himself -confronted by what appeared to be a select group of the worst fiends of -hell. - -George's gaze grew more and more terrified as he took in the swinging -handbag, the slashing meat axe and the intense, determined faces of the -doctors. With a single shriek of despair, as the meat axe made a swipe -at his ear, he staggered backwards and vanished into thin air. - -"Poor George," Toffee giggled. "I've got a feeling he checked out for -good just then. He looked like a ghost who's just remembered a previous -engagement." - - * * * * * - -Marc got up, closed the door and flicked the latch. He stopped, glanced -around at the room. It was some sort of inner chamber, resplendent of -leather and polished wood, a place of durability and hard surfaces, -lighted by a large brass lamp standing on an enormous oak desk. At the -far end of the room a door stood ajar, opening onto a hallway which -pointed the direction of the judge's recent escape. Marc crossed to it -and closed and locked it. - -"Well," Toffee said, perching herself lightly on the corner of the -desk. "This is more like it. Private." - -Marc turned wearily from the door. "Just leave me alone," he sighed. -"Just let me sit down somewhere and relax. This is the first time in -almost twenty-four hours that I haven't had someone at my heels trying -to kill me." - -"Poor Marc," Toffee said. "You do need a rest." - -Marc started across the room toward a large leather-covered chair. He -was nearly there when he caught his foot in the lamp cord and fell. - -Even as he struck the floor he was aware of the crazy see-saw flashes -of light traveling up and down the wall. It wasn't until he rolled -over, however, that he saw the lamp teetering precariously on the edge -of the desk just above his head. He started to cry out, but before he -could force the sound to his lips the lamp slipped beyond the edge and -plunged downward. It seemed to explode in his face.... - - * * * * * - -It grew out of the darkness, a place of familiar beauty. The light -came slowly like the first faint tracings of dawn, etching the gentle -slopes, the intricate, clustered outline of the forest. - -Marc looked around at Toffee who was sitting beside him on the rise of -the knoll. In the glowing half-light she was beautiful beyond words. - -"I ought to break your thick skull," she said. "Will you never learn to -pick up those huge feet of yours?" - -"Huh?" Marc said. - -"Tripping over that damned cord just when we'd gotten away from them -all. Big-footed oaf." - -"Oh, golly, that's right," Marc said. "We're back in the valley." - -"You're darned tootin' we're back in the valley," Toffee said -fretfully. "And that means it's all over. No high-life, no -snaky-dressed, and no...." - -"There wouldn't have been any of that anyway," Marc put in hastily. -"It's just as well." - -"Don't be too sure," Toffee said with a sidelong glance. "All I needed -was a few more minutes and...." - -"What happened to your gadget?" Marc asked, changing the subject. - -Toffee picked up the instrument from the grass beside her and shook it. -It made a loose rattling sound. - -"I broke it when I hit you over the head with it." She tossed it away -from her and it rolled down the slope and out of view. "It's served -its purpose." She turned to Marc. "That is if you'll just stop making -people want to kill you." - -"I feel all dented and scratched," Marc said. "But I guess I'm all -right." - -"You'd feel more dented and scratched if I'd gotten ahold of you," -Toffee said. "For instance...." - -Suddenly she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a -moment Marc felt that he must have gotten mixed up with a metal clamp. - -"Gee whiz!" he said as she released him. - -"That's just the beginning," Toffee said. "I like to ease into these -things. After that...." She stopped as the light of the valley began to -dwindle. "Oh, damn!" - -Marc looked around at the valley in the rapidly diminishing light. -A small pang of regret flickered deep inside him. He felt himself -drifting off into the growing darkness. - -"Goodbye, Toffee," he whispered. "Goodbye." - -He felt the light caress of her hand on his cheek. - -"So long, you lovely old reprobate," Toffee said. "Don't you dare -forget me...." - -And then the darkness was complete and Toffee and the valley were gone -in a swirling haze. - - * * * * * - -Marc stirred and there was a small thud beside him. He opened his eyes -and looked around; the thud had been the lamp rolling off his chest. He -forced himself to sit up. - -There was just enough light from a small skylight above to see that -Toffee was no longer there. He hadn't really expected that she would -be. He shook his head briefly to clear it. The memory of Julie and the -others in the courtroom came to him. - -He had to get out of there. He had to get home. He could wait there and -explain things to Julie--somehow--when she returned. He got to his feet -and gazed bleakly down the long, unshapely stretch of his own bare legs. - -It wouldn't do to go wandering around on the streets like that. -Remembering that he had noticed a closet when he'd first entered the -room, he made his way to it now and opened the door. - -The only thing in the closet was the judge's discarded black robe. Marc -regarded it for a moment but nonetheless took it off the hanger. It was -much better than nothing. He slipped the robe on and crossed to the -door leading into the hallway. - -He unlocked the door and opened it. The hallway was deserted. It led -toward the back of the building and outside. Marc quitted the room and -quickly traced the hall to a set of outdoor steps leading down to a -parking area. He started forward, then drew back as a figure appeared -from around the far corner and made for one of the cars. Then suddenly -he stopped as he realized that the figure was Julie and she was on her -way to their blue convertible. - -"Julie...?" he called. - -Julie, whirling about, caught sight of him and screamed at the top of -her lungs. Having expressed herself thusly she leaped for the car, tore -the door open and threw herself inside. Then, slamming the door and -snapping the catch, she started fumbling feverishly in her bag for the -keys. - -Marc hastened down the steps and across the lot. He banged on the car -door. - -"Julie!" he cried. "Listen to me! I can explain about the girl. She was -only helping me trap the congressman. She's gone now. Julie, are you -listening?" - -Julie paused in her frenzied gropings and looked out at him. She -lowered the window just a crack with an unnerved hand. - -"Beat it, you--you apparition!" she quavered. "I can't see you, I -really _can't_! So it's no good your pretending you're there. You're -not, and I know it. Go away!" - -"Apparition?" Marc said. "I'm no apparition. Julie, it's me--Marc!" - -Julie's gaze steadied a trifle. "You're sure?" she asked. "You're -really there?" - -"Of course I am. Let me in the car, please, dear." - - * * * * * - -She hesitated, but in the end she opened the door, reached out gingerly -and touched him. Then, with a smile of reassurance, she slid over to -make room for him beside her. - -"Oh, Marc!" she cried. "I'm so glad it's you. I thought I saw you just -sort of fade away in there and ... I guess I've been out of my mind -with worry." - -Marc reached out an arm and drew her close to him. "It's all right, -dear," he said. "It's all over now." - -"But the doctors said you had to be operated on. They said you were -dying." - -"Oh, that," Marc said hedging. "Well--that was just a gag, a trick to -make the congressman expose himself. Where are the doctors now?" - -"Asleep," Julie said. - -"Asleep?" - -"Yes. It seems that one of them got excited and spilled a big can of -chloroform on all three of them. They looked very relaxed when I left." - -"Probably needed the rest," Marc said. "They seemed quite energetic." -He patted her shoulder. "So do we. Shall we go home?" - -Julie nodded. Marc started the car. - -"Marc...?" - -"Yes, dear?" - -"About that girl, the one with red hair. That was very silly of me, -wasn't it?" - -"Silly?" Marc asked. - -"The way I got it into my head that there was something between you -two. That was silly, wasn't it?" - -"Very silly," Marc said. "I don't know how you ever thought of such a -thing." He turned and smiled at her. "But I forgive you." - -Julie moved closer. "Thank you, dear," she murmured. "You're very kind -and understanding. Besides, if I'd just stopped to think about it I'd -have realized she wasn't the kind you'd ever give a second thought." - -Marc backed up the car and headed out of the lot. "Of course not, -dear," he said. A smile played at the corner of his lips as he gazed -off into the distance. "Never a second thought...." - - * * * * * - -_George approached through the mists, his ectoplasm disheveled and -drooping. As he moved toward the sentry station it was all too apparent -that here was a shade in low spirits._ - -_"George Pillsworth, spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth -reporting in from leave," he announced listlessly._ - -_The sentry, a gross spectre of the lower sort, jutted his head out of -the opening. "Hot dawg!" he said. "Wait'll the Council gets a load of -you!"_ - -_George looked up wearily. "What do you mean by that?" he asked._ - -_"Just after you took off, word came through that Pillsworth was as -hail and hearty as health biscuits. They've been waiting up for you -ever since. Boy, are you in for a welcome!_" - -_George shrugged and sighed heavily. "Back to the Moaning Chorus, I -suppose?" he said._ - -_"You know it, brother," the sentry nodded, and leaning forward he -swung the gates open in a wide gesture. "Pass on, George Pillsworth, -spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth. Come and get it, kid."_ - -_George drifted disconsolately through the gates and toward the Council -Chambers which loomed large and formidable through the swirling mists -ahead. Slowly, softly he began to hum to himself, a tune of great -melancholy and gentle discord. He paused, hummed the tune again._ - -_"Not bad," he mused, "not bad at all. With a little arranging it might -go over big."_ - -_Humming the tune again, he resumed toward the chambers. He shrugged, -dusted his ectoplasm and smoothed it down._ - -_Now that he stopped to think about it he was sort of relieved to be -back. Certainly the Moaning Chorus couldn't be any more exhausting -than what he'd just gone through on Earth. And, coming right down to -it, those humans down there were beginning to get a little spooky -lately...._ - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following -the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use -of the Project Gutenberg trademark. 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Myers</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: No Time For Toffee!</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Charles F. Myers</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 27, 2021 [eBook #65931]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! ***</div> - -<div class="figcenter x-ebookmaker-drop"> - <img src="images/illusc.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>NO TIME FOR TOFFEE!</h1> - -<h2>By Charles F. Myers</h2> - -<p>Life was Marc's oyster, but: subversives<br /> -had shot him—a ghost was ready to haunt his<br /> -corpse—and Toffee was loving him to death!</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -July 1952<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><i>Just as he stepped to the microphone Marc caught sight of the swarthy -man. He saw the red scar across the left eyebrow, the dull flash of -metal in the large hairy hand. By then it was too late even to cry out. -In the next instant the glass panel in the control booth shattered.</i></p> - -<p><i>Marc felt an explosion of hot pain deep inside his chest. He was aware -of looking around dumbly at Dick Drewson and seeing Drewson's face -register shocked disbelief. Then the scene—the room, Drewson and the -others—disappeared, engulfed in a blinding sheet of flame—and Marc -knew he was falling....</i></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Somewhere, in a place where time and space didn't exist, grey mists -began to seeth and swirl, and withall there was an ominous rumbling. -The High Council was almost in session.</p> - -<p>In a sense, the High Council was already in session, for the Heads of -the Council had developed their intellects to such an inconceivable -degree that when a meeting of the Council was imminent they could -send their thoughts on ahead of them and get the meeting under way -even before putting in an appearance. There was an exchange of views -and information long before the Heads accomplished the mundane and -troublesome business of materialization. Thus it was that the mists -of Limbo now rumbled with thought, counter thought and—on this -particular occasion—downright aggravation, even before the arrival -of the Supreme Head in the vapored chambers. There was an air of -foreboding.</p> - -<p>Having declined all vanities in the pursuit of the Ultimate -Intelligence, the Heads had allowed themselves to evolve into literal -representations of their titles. Directing all their energy and -development to the brain and its encasement, their bodies had suffered -proportionately so that now they were little more than a group of -preposterously large craniums, shaggy with cerebration, bearing faces -weighted with the ponderous woe of Life, Death, Eternity and other -such mental ballast. Five in all, they made up a company to be avoided -whatever the cost.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Supreme Head cleared his throat and Eternity rattled with phlegmy -discontent. Baleful glances were exchanged all around.</p> - -<p>"Well," said the Supreme Head, after a pause for attention. "I suppose -you all know the reason for this meeting by now?"</p> - -<p>The Second Head, a bald party with large ears, nodded sadly. "You say -this blighted Pillsworth has gone and got himself shot this time?"</p> - -<p>"Precisely," the Supreme Head affirmed. "In a broadcasting studio, if -you please. There's simply no keeping that man out of trouble."</p> - -<p>"But why should we want to keep him out of trouble?" the Third Head, an -elongated customer with eye pouches, wanted to know. "That's hardly our -responsibility."</p> - -<p>"There's George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head said fatefully. "Surely -you haven't forgotten about George?"</p> - -<p>A hush fell over the Council, a hush of horror.</p> - -<p>"Not George again?" the Second Head shuddered. "We don't have to face -him again, do we?" He looked around beseechingly at the others. "After -all, Pillsworth's only injured, isn't he? He's not dying?"</p> - -<p>The Supreme Head looked for a moment as though he wished he had -shoulders so he might shrug them hopelessly. "The vibrations are -confused again," he sighed. "I don't know what the interference is -around Pillsworth, but the call never comes through clearly. All we -know is that he's gotten himself into another mess of some sort and is -either dead or dying."</p> - -<p>"It seems that the subversives are still strongly active in the -United States, and of course Pillsworth couldn't stay out of it like -a good citizen. He was approached by some men delegated by government -authority to take control of national advertising. The theory was that -American advertising could be used as a strong combative propaganda -weapon against the enemy propaganda already circulating through the -country. A committee was delegated to secure the cooperation of the -nation's leading advertising agencies. Naturally, since Pillsworth is -the nation's leading advertising executive, they contacted him first."</p> - -<p>"Then Pillsworth is a subversive?" the First Head enquired. "That's how -he got into trouble?"</p> - -<p>"Not at all," said the Supreme Head. "That's just it. Pillsworth wasn't -subversive, but the government committee was."</p> - -<p>"Eh?"</p> - -<p>"Exactly. It turned out that the program was one of the cleverest -propaganda schemes ever devised. Actually, their aim was to insert -alien ideals into the nation's advertising."</p> - -<p>"But you said the plan had government approval."</p> - -<p>"That's the really clever part of it. The method of presentation, while -seeming on the surface to denounce the foreign creed and uphold the -American one, actually was designed to win support for the enemy. The -sales psychology employed was of the negative."</p> - -<p>"Negative?"</p> - -<p>"That's correct. It's the old principle of telling people they don't -want a thing until they develop a feeling of defiance and decide they -are going to have it. It's an extremely subtle approach, but almost -infallible if properly developed. Knowing this, these men had a perfect -plan, so subtle that even the government didn't recognize it. Also, -they had help from within. A certain Congressman Entwerp pushed through -the legislation."</p> - -<p>"But Pillsworth saw through it?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Instantly," the Supreme Head nodded. "It was a principle he had been -using assiduously for years, in fact the very one through which he -achieved his success. The whole plot was as clear as a May morn the -moment he heard it. That's when the trouble started. He contacted -Congressman Entwerp."</p> - -<p>"Oh, dear!"</p> - -<p>"Indeed. Entwerp responded by holding Pillsworth up to ridicule."</p> - -<p>"But Pillsworth had logic on his side."</p> - -<p>The Supreme Head smiled tolerantly. "That's the Earth for you every -time," he said. "Show a human a bit of logic and he gets truculent on -the spot. Pillsworth was denounced as a witch hunter and instructed -under penalty of law to cooperate to the fullest."</p> - -<p>"Shocking," the Third Head said. "I begin to feel sorry for this -Pillsworth."</p> - -<p>"Pillsworth was similarly shocked. But he didn't feel sorry for -himself. Despite his inclination for the quiet conservative life, he -fought back."</p> - -<p>"Good," the Fourth Head put in. "I'm glad; it gives the story zip."</p> - -<p>"My thought in telling you this," the Supreme Head said caustically, -"is merely to inform, not entertain."</p> - -<p>"Sorry, sir."</p> - -<p>The Head nodded acknowledgment. "But to get on, Pillsworth presented -his case to a news broadcaster and asked to be allowed to recite his -story to the nation in the interests of national security. He was shot. -By whom we do not know; the fellow got away. But the fact we must hold -in mind is that he definitely was shot."</p> - -<p>"Then it really is serious," the Third Head said. "We may have to -interview this deadly George after all."</p> - -<p>"It's unavoidable," the Supreme Head sighed. "There's no way around -it."</p> - -<p>"But we're not positive Pillsworth is dead yet. Couldn't we wait and be -sure?"</p> - -<p>"His vibrations have been broken," the Supreme Head said. "Actually we -have no cause to hesitate." He sighed. "I suppose we might as well get -it over with."</p> - -<p>The others nodded in reluctant agreement. There was an oppressive -silence.</p> - -<p>"But didn't we banish George?" the First Head said. "We must have after -his last excursion to Earth."</p> - -<p>"That's right," the Second Head agreed. "I remember distinctly. He -attempted to fire poor Pillsworth off into outer space without a -pressure suit. We banished him to the Void to sing bass in the Moaning -Chorus."</p> - -<p>"We certainly picked the right party for the job," the First Head -reflected. "There isn't a more base spirit in all Limbo. Has he been -summoned?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Supreme Head coughed regretfully. "I issued the call through -Message Center before I announced the council."</p> - -<p>"Oh, dear," the First Head murmured, "then the stinker is practically -on the sloop at this very moment."</p> - -<p>"The stinker is crossing the sloop even now," the Supreme Head amended, -his gaze fastened hauntedly on a disturbance in the outer mists. "Here -he comes."</p> - -<p>"Secure your valuables," the Second Head said morosely. "And keep your -hands in your pockets."</p> - -<p>Hesitantly, under the unblinking disapproval of the Council, George -materialized. As the Council watched, a duplicate of Marc Pillsworth's -long, lean body, made vague by misted robes, rose solidly out of the -moiling vapors. It grew to full stature, rounded out at the shoulders, -extended a neck, then stopped short of the head. There was an expectant -pause, but nothing further developed.</p> - -<p>"The rotter's ashamed to face us," the First Head observed sourly.</p> - -<p>"Little wonder," the Third Head muttered. "After the way he's blotted -the haunting profession, he hasn't got a leg to stand on."</p> - -<p>"George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head intoned with exasperation, -"spiritual projection of the mortal entity, Marc Pillsworth, approach -the Council. And put on your head, you fool."</p> - -<p>George stirred, and his head, working from the chin upward, -materialized, revealing the face of Marc Pillsworth. All in all, as -faces go, Marc's—and consequently also George's—hit very close to -average. It was a nice face, a pleasant face, for all its lack of -distinction. On George, therefore, it was a misleading face. With its -lean plainness, its serious grey eyes and its shock of sandy hair, -it failed utterly to express even a whit of George's unprincipled -temperament.</p> - -<p>"Is that better, sir?" George asked, edging warily forward.</p> - -<p>"Hardly that," the Supreme Head groused. "The less of you the better. -However it helps us somewhat to get a clue to the inner festerings of -that depraved mind of yours." He gazed at George for a long, reflective -moment, then made a sad, clucking sound. "I simply cannot imagine -what Marcus Pillsworth must have thought when he discovered that his -spiritual entity was a tacky, ebony-hearted, feather-headed wretch like -you. Why aren't you more like your mortal source?"</p> - -<p>George shrugged sheepishly. "I guess I'm just no damn good," he -murmured.</p> - -<p>"You flatter yourself," the Supreme Head said. "You're much worse than -no damn good. You're simply awful. I wonder if Limbo will ever live you -down."</p> - -<p>"I hope so, sir," George said contritely.</p> - -<p>"Nevertheless," the Supreme Head went on, "much as I loathe it, I -suppose we must get on with it. I suppose you know why you've been -summoned?"</p> - -<p>George nodded dimly. "They reported me for teaching the Moaning Chorus -to syncopate."</p> - -<p>"What!" the Supreme Head gasped. "You did <i>what</i>?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>George looked up, afrighted; he'd given himself away again with no -need. "Yes, sir," he sighed resignedly, "I thought that if we got up -a good hot act we might be able to wangle a few guest shots with the -Celestial Choir. Actually, we've worked out a really sock arrangement -of the <i>Wham Bam Blues</i>. I'm sure that if you heard it...."</p> - -<p>"No!" the Supreme Head roared. "You <i>couldn't</i>! Of all the -unmitigated...!" He stopped and waited for his spleen to subside. -"George Pillsworth," he said, "you are insufferable."</p> - -<p>"I suppose so, sir," George said. "However my intentions...."</p> - -<p>"Blast your intentions!"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir. I'm very sorry."</p> - -<p>"Never mind. In that case it's probably just as well that things are as -they are. It'll be a great relief to be rid of you."</p> - -<p>"Rid of me?" George said fearfully. "You aren't going to...?"</p> - -<p>"Unfortunately, no," the Supreme Head sighed. "What I mean is that your -mortal part, Marc Pillsworth, has got himself shot."</p> - -<p>George looked up sharply. His whole aspect changed; his eye brightened; -his entire being grew more alert. "I'm to be sent to Earth as a -permanent haunt? Oh, sir...!"</p> - -<p>"Hold it!" the Supreme Head snapped. "Don't go into a spring dance. -There's a hitch."</p> - -<p>"Oh," George said, but his eagerness was not noticeably dampened.</p> - -<p>To George, the merest prospect of a visit to Earth was only to be -regarded with rapturous anticipation. To him that distant world of -mortals was a place of boundless and exquisite attraction. It was made -up in equal parts of liquor, women and larceny and anything else that -existed there was merely the result of these things brought together in -odd combination. For George, Earth was absolutely the last gasp.</p> - -<p>Of course George had never achieved the ultimate accomplishment of -establishing permanent residence on Earth, for on all of his previous -visits he had arrived only to find that Marc was still alive and that -he could not legitimately remain. If on these occasions, George had -done his level best to rectify this error with whatever murderous means -at hand, it did not imply that the ghost held any personal animosity -for Marc. It was simply that George's was the sort of temperament which -boggled at almost nothing to achieve its end.</p> - -<p>"What's the catch?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Don't be flip," the Supreme Head admonished. "And stop syncopating."</p> - -<p>"Syncopating?" George asked innocently. "I'm standing perfectly still."</p> - -<p>"It's your mind," the Supreme Head said. "It's jogging about like a cat -on hot bricks. It shows all over you. This is an occasion of enormous -seriousness."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>George did his best to assume an expression of profound sobriety. -"Yes, sir," he murmured.</p> - -<p>"First of all," the Supreme Head continued, "as usual there is some -question as to Pillsworth's actual status. He has been shot, it's true, -and his vibrations are definitely broken. However, experience has -taught us to be wary in the case of Pillsworth. Often we have acted -on false alarms in the past and have been sorry." The Head paused -and beetled his brow. "Of course we need not have regretted those -errors had you behaved yourself at all in the manner of a decent, -self-respecting shade. Nevertheless, we don't dare take a chance -despite our reluctance in the matter. Pillsworth's wound falls into the -mortality class, so we have no alternative but to issue you your travel -orders and the usual allotment of ectoplasm." He fixed George with an -unhappy stare. "And get that look of evil delight off your face."</p> - -<p>"Sorry, sir," George said.</p> - -<p>"And make up your mind right now that this is a business trip. If -Pillsworth is not dead or definitely dying when you arrive you will -return instantly. Do you understand?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir."</p> - -<p>"And if he isn't dead or dying you will do nothing to alter this state -of affairs. You will not undertake on your own initiative to shove him -off tall buildings, under moving trucks or into open manholes. You will -not threaten him with ropes, guns, explosives, rare poisons or knives, -or attempt to dispatch him to heaven by means of rocket. Have you got -all that straight?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir," George said quietly. "Hands off. I understand."</p> - -<p>"I hope you do," the Head said ominously, "for your own sake. Anyway, -I suppose you'd better go along now and start checking out through -Supply. All that's left here is for you to raise your right hand and -swear by memory to the Ten Commandments of the Hunter's code. However, -I suppose you've got them all cribbed on the sleeve of your robe."</p> - -<p>George lowered his gaze. "Yes, sir," he murmured. "I have."</p> - -<p>"Then skip it," the Head sighed resignedly. "Just clear out."</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir," George said, brightening. "Thank you, sir."</p> - -<p>As the mists swirled up around George, and he gradually dissolved into -their vaporish currents, a joyous grin lighted his face....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Three sets of eyes fastened clinically on the X-ray with worried, -professional interest.</p> - -<p>"There's a slight chance," the first doctor said, "if we operate -immediately."</p> - -<p>"Too slight," the second murmured. "The bullet's too close to the -heart. He'll die on the table."</p> - -<p>"He'll die anyway. We're merely taking the only chance there is."</p> - -<p>"I suppose so. Has his wife arrived yet?"</p> - -<p>"She's with him now."</p> - -<p>"He's not conscious, is he?"</p> - -<p>"No, certainly not, but they could not keep her away."</p> - -<p>"We'd better explain how it is. We're almost certain to lose him."</p> - -<p>"I suppose so."</p> - -<p>There was a pause before they turned and reluctantly left the room. -Outside, in the hospital corridor, the first doctor proceeded to the -door at the end of the hall while the other two stayed behind. He -opened the door and quietly stepped inside.</p> - -<p>Marc lay still on the bed, his pleasant face drawn and pale against the -pillow. Julie sat beside the bed, a classic figure of silent grief, her -blonde beauty drained with uncomprehending fright. She did not cry. Nor -did she move as the doctor walked toward her from the door.</p> - -<p>"Mrs. Pillsworth ..." the doctor said, but Julie remained motionless. -He moved closer to her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. -"We've just seen the X-ray." At this Julie looked up. "We'll have to -operate instantly. The preparations are being made now." He paused. -"The chances for success are negligible."</p> - -<p>Julie nodded dazedly. "I know," she whispered. "I know...."</p> - -<p>She did not resist as the doctor took her arm and guided her to the -door. At the last moment, though, she paused and looked back at the -lean face on the pillow.</p> - -<p>"He looks so peaceful," she said. "He looks so content. Does a dying -man ever dream, doctor?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Even Marc himself could not have fitted a positive answer to Julie's -question. Did he dream? Or had he merely retreated from the world to a -realm of absolute reality? He didn't know himself.</p> - -<p>He remembered passing through caverns of roaring darkness, only -to be caught up by a tongue of searing flame and hurled into some -obscure dimness where it seemed that all the thought, melody, all the -remembered sensation of a lifetime writhed about him like vague forms, -one interposed upon the other, in unpatterned confusion.</p> - -<p>But now these entangled vagaries faded away and suddenly he found -himself sitting on a green slope at the outer perimeter of a grove of -graceful trees. A blue mist drifted lightly up the far rise to soften -the horizon. Marc was no stranger to this place for he had visited it -often. He felt no dismay at finding himself again in the valley of his -own mind. Indeed, through the last few years, it had become as familiar -to him as his own home or office. So had the redheaded minx who found -her existence there.</p> - -<p>Marc stirred and looked around. The landscape was uninhabited. No -lovely, lightly clad figure appeared on the horizon, no lithe form -emerged from the groves and ran toward him.</p> - -<p>Marc frowned anew over the improbable fact of Toffee. Certainly -she existed in his mind, a constant and consistent product of his -imagination. That was perfectly easy to understand. The parts of it, -though, that he never quite got used to were her periods of existence -outside his mind, in the world of actuality.</p> - -<p>What Marc had never been able to really comprehend was that his mind -could project into the physical world a physical being—to such an -extent that her existence was not only apparent to himself but also to -everyone else who came within the radius of the mental vibration which -produced the girl.</p> - -<p>The question in Marc's mind, then, was whether Toffee really existed, -was truly real, or whether she was merely an hallucination, a sort of -contagious hysteria.</p> - -<p>Toffee's personality always got in the way of the answer. The girl was -infinitely distracting, from the pert aliveness of her quick green -eyes to the full redness of her lips. Beyond that there was the almost -shameful perfection of her supple young body. These things blocked -analytical thought. Then, too, there was her unerring instinct for -roaring, bounding madness, and her absolute contempt for the logical, -the moral or the conservative. Toffee, in brief, was at once brash, -embarrassing, impetuous, warm, high-handed, endearing, maddening and -completely unforgettable. So to all practical purposes, then, she was -real; the matter of Toffee's source was pallidly unimportant next to -the vivid fact of Toffee herself.</p> - -<p>Marc stretched luxuriously and got to his feet, but as he did so he -peered around toward the green obscurity of the forest. There was still -no movement, no sound. He frowned quizzically. This wasn't at all -usual. Always before Toffee had been there to greet him almost at the -instant of his arrival. Another time she would be swarming all over him -by now.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He shrugged and started aimlessly up the rise. At first he climbed -unhurriedly, but as he drew nearer the trees his gait quickened. At the -outskirts of the forest he found himself pausing to listen, but there -was no sound. The feathery branches swayed in silent grace before him. -A small concern began to trickle into his mind.</p> - -<p>The blue mists broke smoothly before his stride as he entered the cool -enclosure of the forest. Again he paused.</p> - -<p>"Toffee...?" he found himself calling.</p> - -<p>There was no answer.</p> - -<p>He shoved ahead, and now there was a sort of anxiety in his step, and -he took care not to break the stillness lest Toffee answer. An odd -feeling of bereavement came over him, though he told himself it was -foolish. After all, the girl was entirely imaginary, and a pack of -trouble into the bargain. Then suddenly he stopped.</p> - -<p>An odd murmuring seemed to come from the left. He moved in that -direction, stopped to listen, then hurried on. Ahead he saw a dim -lightness sketched through the trees, a suggestion of a clearing -obscured by the dense branches. He approached it, parted the foliage -and looked out. He stopped short.</p> - -<p>Toffee sat in the middle of the clearing, her legs folded under her. -Her eyes were closed and one slender hand was pressed to her forehead -in an attitude of labored concentration. Her slight tunic, an emerald -transparency at best, did little to conceal the impertinent perfection -of her figure. She was leaning forward just a bit, and her flaming hair -hung loose over her shoulders. She seemed to be chanting something to -herself, though Marc couldn't make it out.</p> - -<p>"Toffee...?" he said, and stepped forward to brace himself against the -inevitable rush of brash affection.</p> - -<p>The girl opened her eyes and looked around hastily.</p> - -<p>"Sit down somewhere," she said, "and be quiet."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" Marc asked.</p> - -<p>Toffee didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes, swayed back lightly -on her shapely haunches and began the muttered chant anew.</p> - -<p>Marc swayed a trifle himself, with astonishment—and perhaps a tinge of -disappointment. This wasn't like Toffee at all, not by a long shot. He -moved slowly to her side and gazed down at her intent, upturned face.</p> - -<p>"Toffee...?" he hazarded.</p> - -<p>She didn't open her eyes. Her lips moved. "Molecules," she said.</p> - -<p>"What?" Marc asked.</p> - -<p>"Molecules," Toffee repeated. "Molecules ... molecules...."</p> - -<p>"Molecules?" Marc said. "What are you talking about?"</p> - -<p>Toffee opened her eyes at this and looked up at him with anxious -irritation.</p> - -<p>"Please be still," she said. "I've got to think about molecules -exclusively. It isn't helping any, your gabbing away in my ear."</p> - -<p>"But why?" Marc asked. "What about molecules?"</p> - -<p>"Everything depends on them, that's all," Toffee said impatiently. -"Now, just...."</p> - -<p>"But wait a min—!"</p> - -<p>"Quiet," Toffee said. "Don't you realize that you're tottering on the -brink of death at this very moment? Me, too, for that matter."</p> - -<p>"Death?" Marc asked. "What are you talking about?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee looked at him aghast. "Don't you remember?" she asked. "Have you -actually forgotten about being shot in the studio?"</p> - -<p>Marc stared down at her in growing horror. A small, agonized memory -screamed out of the dark inner shadows of his awareness.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I'm dying!"</p> - -<p>"And if those licensed butchers get to hacking you up, you're a goner," -Toffee said anxiously. "I have the inside information. There isn't much -time. I've got to concentrate like wild."</p> - -<p>"But...!"</p> - -<p>"Quiet!" Toffee broke in. "Please be quiet," she closed her eyes again -and her lips began to move as before. "Molecules," she murmured.</p> - -<p>Marc remained rigid at her side. Panic rose inside him and filled his -throat. His impulse was to turn and run blindly—perhaps back to that -dying mortal body—but his terror held him transfixed. Staring down at -Toffee, he felt he might go mad in the next moment. In the next moment -he was certain he had.</p> - -<p>Just in front of Toffee, close to the mossy greenness, he caught sight -of a quick flicker of light, a strange disembodied illumination that -was at once its own source and product. As he watched it flickered -again, grew brighter and became a steady radiance. He glanced back at -Toffee, but her face had become fixed and masklike. Her lips no longer -moved.</p> - -<p>The radiance grew swiftly, to an almost unbearable brightness. In it -there was a cold hard suggestion of metal. Then it began to take form -and solidify. Marc blinked as the thing, whatever it was, grew slowly -out of the gleaming brilliance.</p> - -<p>First a cylinder emerged, about a foot long and four or five inches in -diameter. For a moment the object seemed to have completed itself, -but then, one at either end, a pair of funnel-shaped openings emerged. -These completed, a small, two-way switch arrangement appeared at the -top and in the center of the cylinder. After that, the radiance was -gone and only the strange instrument remained, lying on the grass -before Toffee as though cast there by a careless hand.</p> - -<p>"What—!" Marc gasped.</p> - -<p>Toffee's perky features relaxed. She opened her eyes.</p> - -<p>"Did it turn out all right?" she asked brightly. "Is it finished?"</p> - -<p>"Huh?" Marc asked. He pointed. "You mean <i>that</i>?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, wonderful!" Toffee cried, delighted. "It's rather pretty the way -it shines, isn't it?"</p> - -<p>"What is it?"</p> - -<p>"How should I know?" Toffee said blandly. "Just a gadget. There's never -been one before."</p> - -<p>"You mean you just developed it out of your mind?"</p> - -<p>"Sure," Toffee said. "It's a thought product—like me. Now if it only -works right...." Picking up the instrument, she looked at it carefully -and nodded with satisfaction. "It should be simple to operate."</p> - -<p>"But what's it for?"</p> - -<p>"I'll show you," Toffee said. She pointed to a nearby tree. "See that?" -Marc nodded. "Keep looking at it."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Turning to the tree, she held the cylinder toward it, so that one of -the funnels was aimed squarely in its direction.</p> - -<p>"Now watch," she said, and pressed the switch.</p> - -<p>Marc, staring at the tree in rapt attention, started with surprise. -Suddenly the tree was gone with no sign that it had ever been there.</p> - -<p>"What...!"</p> - -<p>"The next part is more important," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"Next part?" Marc said dazedly. "But where is it? Where...?"</p> - -<p>"See there?" Toffee said, and this time she pointed to the center of -the clearing. "Watch."</p> - -<p>Holding the cylinder so that the opposite end was pointed to the -clearing, she pressed the switch in the other direction. Instantly the -tree shot into being exactly at the spot she had indicated.</p> - -<p>Marc stared. It was the same tree—the one that had disappeared—and -yet it was subtly different. It seemed greener now, more alive.</p> - -<p>"What happened?" he asked. "What did you do to it?"</p> - -<p>"Molecules," Toffee said, smiling. "I broke it down into molecules, -then projected it again. The machine absorbed the tree in molecules, -compressed them, reconstructed the faulty or destroyed ones, eliminated -all harmful matter and retained the count to reestablish it in perfect -balance and health. It worked fine."</p> - -<p>"My gosh!" Marc said.</p> - -<p>Drawing close to him, Toffee twined her arms around his neck with -knowing deliberation and drew his surprised face down close to hers.</p> - -<p>"I'm going to save your stodgy life with molecules, you skinny old, -care-worn wraith," she breathed. "Then you'll be in my pay for the rest -of your days. Just keep it in mind later when things begin to happen."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" Marc said. "What things?"</p> - -<p>"You'll see," Toffee said. "Wow!"</p> - -<p>Marc drew himself up stiffly. "Now, look here," he said sternly, "you -can just get this wow business right out of your head...."</p> - -<p>"And if that doesn't work," Toffee said, "I've been studying hypnotism. -I can transfix a snake at fifty yards." She brushed her cheek lightly -against his. "Just think of that, you scaly old reptile."</p> - -<p>"Just a second," Marc said. "If you think for one sec—"</p> - -<p>But the sentiment was lost as Toffee renewed her hold on his neck and -kissed him warmly and at considerable length on the mouth.</p> - -<p>"That," she whispered, "is just a token payment in advance. Just wait -till the mortgage comes due!"</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/toffee.jpg" alt=""/> - <div class="caption"> - <p>TOFFEE</p> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"Why, you little hussy...!" Marc wheezed. "You haven't the moral sense -of a brickbat!"</p> - -<p>He stopped short, for suddenly the forest had begun to darken and a -sharp wind came alive in the trees. He glanced around, startled, as the -earth began to tremble beneath them. Instinctively, he whirled about, -looking for an escape from the forest, but suddenly, with a groan of -dismay, the world went black, and he was only aware of Toffee's arms -closing tight about his neck....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The orderly was a pale, antiseptic type. And he was resentful. Wheeling -Marc along the hallway toward Surgery, he looked down at the drawn face -beneath him with a twinge of pique. He strongly resented the fact that -the face was not behaving at all as the face of a true corpse-elect -should.</p> - -<p>According to the orderly, a dying man had no right to twitch and -flutter his eyelids the way this one was doing, let alone showing signs -of coming completely to life. It made the orderly nervous and upset.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/marc.jpg" alt=""/> - <div class="caption"> - <p>MARC PILLSWORTH</p> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>For a moment the orderly almost succumbed to an impulse to walk off -and leave the patient to shift for himself. It was what he deserved if -he was going to act that way. Nonetheless, he remained. Consequently, -Marc's first vision, upon returning to consciousness, was of a pale, -fretful face with white eyelashes and thin lips. He had expected -something better.</p> - -<p>"Who are you?" he asked weakly. "Are you the doctor?"</p> - -<p>The orderly shook his head sullenly. "I'm the orderly. The doctor's -waiting."</p> - -<p>"They mustn't operate," Marc murmured. "I'll die...." He stopped as a -pert face suddenly blurred into view just behind that of the orderly. -A slender hand brushed back a wayward lock of red hair. Toffee smiled -and winked.</p> - -<p>Marc moaned. "Oh, so it's you, is it?" he sighed. "What are you so -happy about? I feel awful."</p> - -<p>"I'm not happy, sir," the orderly said, mystified. "I'm not happy -at all. In fact, if you want the truth...." He paused, and the -apprehensive expression of one who detects an unseen presence behind -him overtook his face. Very slowly, he turned around.</p> - -<p>It would be difficult to say what the orderly expected to find behind -him: a fanged reptile might have made a good guess, a slavering fiend -another. It is certain, however, judging from his reaction, that on the -list of things he did not expect to find, a scantily clad redhead was -number one. Toffee, her legs crossed to perfection, the cylinder-like -gadget under her arm, sat jauntily on the edge of the cart, smiling a -bright greeting. The young man leaped backwards and froze in a transfix -of amazement.</p> - -<p>"Auk!" he exclaimed.</p> - -<p>Toffee turned to Marc. "Is he doing a bird imitation?" she asked. -"Should I applaud?"</p> - -<p>"Don't be funny," Marc said feebly. "I feel terrible."</p> - -<p>"I know," Toffee said. "I got here just in time."</p> - -<p>"For what?" Marc asked apprehensively. "What are you going to do?"</p> - -<p>Toffee patted the cylinder. "I'm going to save your life," she said. -"Don't you remember?"</p> - -<p>Marc looked at her through heavy lids. "That's silly," he murmured. -"Just go 'way and let me die in peace."</p> - -<p>Unmindful, Toffee leaped lightly to the floor, stood back and aimed the -gadget at Marc. "All set?" she said.</p> - -<p>"Here!" the attendant said, suddenly recovering the faculty of speech. -"What are you doing?"</p> - -<p>"Advancing medical science a mile a minute," Toffee said. "Don't -interrupt."</p> - -<p>"But...!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee placed her hand menacingly on her hip and fixed the young man -with a steely eye. "Am I going to have to deal with you?" she asked, -"Or are you going to button your lip like a good child?"</p> - -<p>The orderly spoke no further.</p> - -<p>Toffee raised the cylinder, sighting the length of Marc's lean, -sheet-covered body. Then she pressed the switch.</p> - -<p>The orderly stared, wide-eyed, and repeated his bird imitation. The -place where Marc had lain was suddenly as bare as a banquet board after -the feast. Where a moment before there had been a long thin man, now -there was only a long, thin sheet.</p> - -<p>"Hey!" the orderly bleated. "Ho!"</p> - -<p>"So long, phrasemaker," Toffee said, and tucking the cylinder under -her arm, moved off quickly down the hall and around the corner.</p> - -<p>It was just as the orderly observed the last flirt of Toffee's hip that -the doctor appeared from the door of the operating room and looked -distractedly in his direction.</p> - -<p>"Good grief, man!" he said, "haven't you brought Pillsworth with you?"</p> - -<p>The orderly started nervously and looked around.</p> - -<p>"He ... he ... he...!" he gibbered. "That is, she ... she...!" He -pointed in hopeless confusion down the hall.</p> - -<p>"What are you babbling about?" the doctor enquired shortly. "Where is -Pillsworth?"</p> - -<p>"He.... He's gone, sir!" the attendant blurted.</p> - -<p>"Gone?" the doctor said. "Where did he go?"</p> - -<p>The orderly looked away down the hall. "There was this girl, see ... -she had red hair and a can...."</p> - -<p>"Now, just a minute, orderly," the doctor said measuredly. "If you -think you can distract me with the depressing details of your sex -life...."</p> - -<p>"But you don't understand! She was holding this thing ... and she told -me to shut up ... and then Mr. Pillsworth wasn't there any more. That's -the truth!"</p> - -<p>"Let me impress it upon you," the doctor said, "that this is a very -serious incident. I can't imagine how a half-dead patient managed to -get away from you, but you'll find him instantly and deliver him to -surgery if you know what's good for you. Meanwhile, I'll have the alarm -sent out to all the wards and offices. I hope you realize that your -carelessness has undoubtedly cost the patient his last chance for life. -Without the slightest doubt I can pronounce Marc Pillsworth dead right -now."</p> - -<p>As the doctor spoke these last words, a small gust of wind—or at least -what could easily have passed for a small gust of wind—eddied around -the corner at the end of the hall. It was this slight disturbance which -marked the arrival of George on Earth.</p> - -<p>At the sound of the doctor's voice, the ghost stopped, listened, then -clasped his hands together in a transport of joy. He had arrived just -in time to receive the happy news! Marc was dead and he, George, had at -last secured his permanent residency on Earth. Out of sheer exuberance -the delighted spectre let out a little moan of delight.</p> - -<p>The orderly, who was watching the doctor gloomily out of sight, turned -sharply.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Pillsworth?" he quavered thinly. "Mr. Pillsworth, please...?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Meanwhile Toffee had progressed busily along the corridors of the -hospital in search of some private—and preferably secluded—place -in which to reconstruct Marc. Finally, rounding a corner, she found -herself abreast of a pair of swinging doors and started toward them. -She stopped, however, and turned in retreat as the doors suddenly -parted and a doctor and nurse, deep in conversation, came into view. -She started back the way she had come, but was stopped again by an -approaching nurse pushing an elderly female patient in a wheel chair -flanked on either side by a crutch. Looking for an avenue of escape, -Toffee spotted a white linen screen against the wall and darted quickly -behind it to bide her time till the traffic had subsided.</p> - -<p>This ruse, on the face of it, hadn't a flaw and should have worked -like a charm. It should have that is, if Toffee, in her haste, hadn't -plumped against the wall and unknowingly pressed the button of the -gadget.</p> - -<p>The result of this little accident was that the doctor and the nurse -approaching from one direction, and the nurse and the patient coming -from the other—all four of them suddenly found themselves confronted -by a tall, thin man standing bewilderedly in the center of the hall -with nothing to grace his long frame but an extremely brief linen shift -loosely attached at the back. Toffee had released Marc into reality and -good health, but costumed only for the operating table.</p> - -<p>No one was more acutely aware of this deficiency than Marc himself. -Looking around unhappily at his stunned beholders and taking in his -slight coverage all in a single glance, he was taken with a seizure of -shocked modesty. Hunkering down into a squat he clutched the hem of his -gown desperately to his knees.</p> - -<p>"My word!" the elderly patient said, leaning forward in her chair. -"What in the world does that man think he's doing!"</p> - -<p>"I don't like to think," the nurse said, looking away. "It's bound to -be something disgusting."</p> - -<p>"Here you!" the doctor called from the other end of the corridor. "You -can't do that! Why are you crouched down in that obscene way?"</p> - -<p>"I'm naked!" Marc wailed. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm -downright exposed!"</p> - -<p>"There's no reason to whisper about it," the doctor said nastily. "We -can all see."</p> - -<p>"Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. Looking around for a retreat, his frantic -gaze fell on the screen. Still in a squat, he hobbled swiftly toward it.</p> - -<p>"Look at him!" the patient cried, rising slightly in her chair. "Here, -you! Stop doing that, for heaven's sake! You look like an ailing duck!"</p> - -<p>"That's nothing to what I'd look like if I stood up," Marc panted in -one last sprint for the screen. "That would be worse."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was not until this point in the proceedings that Toffee began to -realize what had happened. Listening to the voices in the hall, it had -struck her that one of them had a dreadfully familiar ring to it. It -was much to her dismay that, in peering around the edge of the screen, -she suddenly found herself practically eyeball to eyeball with Marc. -She let out a small, strangled cry.</p> - -<p>"Oh, my gosh!" she said.</p> - -<p>"For Pete's sake, let me in there!" Marc said.</p> - -<p>"But how did you get out there?"</p> - -<p>"How should I know? Never mind that, let me in. They're all <i>looking</i>!"</p> - -<p>"At what?"</p> - -<p>"I shudder to think. Please let me in!"</p> - -<p>"But why are you all doubled up like that?"</p> - -<p>Tired of words, Marc reached up to the screen to pull it away so he -could get behind it. Unfortunately, it was at this same instant that -Toffee decided to shove it open to make room. With their combined -efforts, the screen buckled, folded, teetered and fell, cracking Marc -solidly on the head. The next moment found him in an unconscious sprawl -on the floor. The area behind the screen was starkly deserted. The -observers crowded in swiftly to see what had happened.</p> - -<p>"Good God!" the doctor cried, staring down at Marc. "It's Pillsworth, -the man they're looking for in Surgery!"</p> - -<p>"Is he dead?" the nurse asked.</p> - -<p>The doctor shook his head. "He's breathing. Run and call an orderly to -take him along instantly. Hurry!"</p> - -<p>As the nurse hurried off, the elderly patient removed one of the -crutches from the side of her chair and passed it experimentally -through the vacant area beyond the screen. She shook her head in -perplexity.</p> - -<p>"By golly," she said, "I could have <i>sworn</i> he was talkin' to somebody -back there."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>While this untimely denouement was rounding out in the hallway, a mad -drama of another sort was beginning to ferment in the Pharmacy.</p> - -<p>Olliphant Gunn, the rotund and habitually foggy keeper of the dopes -and drugs, had been watching it for several minutes; there was trouble -brewing in the Salts and Syrups—trouble of a most mysterious and -upsetting nature. The containers, for all the world as though they had -suddenly been endowed with some idiotic life of their own, had begun to -shift about all by themselves. Watching a jar of salts hurl itself to -the floor and splash its contents out in a whitish mess, Olliphant Gunn -concluded definitely that there was some sort of flimflam afoot.</p> - -<p>This conclusion was stoutly strengthened as he witnessed the progress -of his private bottle from its hiding place amongst the medicants to -a position in mid-air in front of the shelves. Olliphant began to -quiver about the dewlaps. He quivered even more as the bottle uncapped -itself, tilted upward and emptied a noticeable portion of its contents -into—into absolutely nothing at all!</p> - -<p>Olliphant fell back in his chair, slack of jaw, and it is doubtful, had -anyone been able to apprise him of the truth of the matter, that he'd -have felt any better about it. To a man in his cups, as Olliphant was, -the news does not come lightly that he is in the company of a thirsty -ghost, with an unerring nose for whiskey, and a predisposition for -celebration.</p> - -<p>Olliphant watched in bleary disbelief as the bottle repeated the -tilting and emptying process. Then his mood began to change. Regardless -of what this obviously demented bottle thought it was up to, it had -no right to deplete his private reserves in this callous fashion. The -slack jaw of Olliphant Gunn hitched itself up and became firm.</p> - -<p>"Stop that!" Olliphant roared. "You stop that right now, damnit!"</p> - -<p>For a moment the bottle wavered, as though startled, then defiantly -upended a third time and brought the level of the coveted liquor down -still further. Quite as though to rub salt in the wound, it burped with -grandiose satisfaction.</p> - -<p>"Damnation!" Olliphant gasped. "I'll teach you, you blathering bottle!"</p> - -<p>Heaving his considerable bulk up out of his chair, he hurled himself -bodily toward the object of his wrath.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The laws of nature, however, were against Olliphant from the very -beginning. As the bottle darted out of his reach, sheer momentum -carried him headlong into the dim reaches of Salts and Syrups. Gravity -delivered him along with a quantity of gummy liquid and gritty -crystallines to the floor. Settled in a sticky puddle of wreckage, -Olliphant glanced around with a reddish, enraged expression. Besides -salt and syrup, there was blood in his eye.</p> - -<p>At a distance sufficiently out of reach, yet insultingly near, the -bottle was bobbing about amusedly. Indeed, Olliphant distinctly heard a -soft chuckling sound coming from its direction. With a jungle roar he -surged up from the floor and launched a second attack. This netted him -another disastrous collision, this time with the glassware department. -The Pharmacy was swiftly being transformed into a scene of chaos.</p> - -<p>In the interval, the bottle had retreated to a position by the -doorway and was humming maddeningly to itself. Suddenly it burst into -full-throated song.</p> - -<p>"Goin' to Louisiana," it warbled, "for a case of good whis-kee! Goin' -to Louisiana with a hussy on mah knee!"</p> - -<p>Olliphant settled himself sadly on an untidy mound of rubble and began -to brood. There was no use denying it; the thing was just too much for -him. As he watched the bottle bob back and forth in time with the -idiot song, a large tear trickled down his cheek. Olliphant Gunn was -just a broken reed in the holocaust of Life, and his ruination had come -about through a mere mad bottle. The man began to blubber hopelessly.</p> - -<p>It was during this heart-rending climax that the nurse, a small blonde, -appeared at the doorway and stared into the pharmacy with large -wondering blue eyes.</p> - -<p>The invisible George, who had been enjoying his own singing to the -utmost, stopped at the sight of the newcomer in mid verse. Things, he -decided, were beginning to look up. Warmed by the liquor, George was -dazzled and enchanted.</p> - -<p>Unfortunately the nurse was neither of these. Striding through the -door, she stepped into a trickle of syrup and skidded dangerously -toward Olliphant. George, feeling that things were moving in the wrong -direction entirely, seized upon the floundering blonde with one deft -swoop of his invisible arm and lifted her to dry ground. It was a -moment before he was able to account for the girl's shrill screams.</p> - -<p>A period of stupefied silence followed as the nurse glanced around -suspiciously. As a girl who, in line of business, had experienced -considerable traffic with men, she was disposed to know to the exact -moment when she had been forcibly clutched by a masculine hand. Also, -which only made matters worse, she was a girl who knew where she had -been clutched and why.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In looking around for masculine hands available for clutching, a quick -survey told the nurse that the room inventoried two and both of them -were the exclusive property of Olliphant Gunn. Geographically it seemed -impossible that either of these hands could have performed the recent -clutching, but in her anger the nurse was not the one to quibble over -details. Seizing up a large crystal beaker she unhesitatingly smashed -it to splinters on Olliphant's skull with one smart whack. Olliphant -looked up through his tears.</p> - -<p>"What you wanna do that for, lady?" he sobbed.</p> - -<p>"You know what for," the nurse gritted, looking around for further -ammunition. "And that's only the beginning. If you ever...." She -stopped as she suddenly encountered the floating bottle. Instinctively, -or perhaps out of sheer surprise, she grabbed for it. At any rate, it -was not until she had gotten a grip on the thing that she realized that -this was a bottle not properly on the up and up. This fact was brought -home to her even more clearly when the bottle refused to budge in her -grasp and even showed a definite tendency to pull away.</p> - -<p>For a long moment the nurse merely stared at the bottle with a -wondering gaze. Then slowly an expression of determination came into -her pretty face. Squaring her stance, she took hold of the offending -container with both hands.</p> - -<p>"It's no use," Olliphant said from the floor. "That bottle's mean."</p> - -<p>Heedless, the nurse braced herself and tugged with all her strength. -The bottle gave by a foot, then lurched drunkenly in her grasp. Down on -the floor the rivulet of syrup became disturbed, as though feet were -churning through it desperately seeking to regain lost traction.</p> - -<p>Suddenly the bottle gave way and the nurse toppled backwards into -Olliphant's lap. Olliphant received this new burden with resignation -and a grunt. Across the room, however, there was another sound, as of a -body coming in swift contact with the floor.</p> - -<p>"Damn!" the nurse said hotly, turning to Olliphant. "Keep your big -oafish hands off me! Stop reaching."</p> - -<p>"I'm only reaching for the bottle," Olliphant said. "It's mine."</p> - -<p>"It didn't feel like it," the nurse retorted. "It felt more like...." -She hesitated as from the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a -long body sprawled on the floor. At first glimpse it seemed that the -body had no head, but as she looked more closely she saw that it did, -though she had the peculiar sensation that it had just come into being. -Handing Olliphant the bottle she got to her feet and approached the -prone figure. Noting that it was dressed for surgery, she stood staring -down at it quizzically for a moment.</p> - -<p>"Holy smoke!" she breathed. "It's Pillsworth!" She turned to Olliphant. -"Come on and help me. We've got to get him down to Surgery right away!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc felt himself rising through the last shredded mists of -unconsciousness. He tried to open his eyes but a glaring light made the -attempt too painful.</p> - -<p>"Give him the anaesthetic," a voice said close by.</p> - -<p>Panic pulsed through Marc's body. They were going to operate! Necessity -gave him a surge of strength and he sat up, staring wildly at the three -doctors gathered over him.</p> - -<p>"No!" he said. "Don't! I'm all right!"</p> - -<p>"Lie down, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor nearest advised. "Just lie down -and it will all be over with in a minute."</p> - -<p>"But I'm all right!" Marc said desperately. He glared around at the -nurse holding the mask for the anaesthetic. "Get away from me!"</p> - -<p>"Hysteria," the doctor said. "Quite understandable after what he's been -through. He'll have to be restrained."</p> - -<p>The other two nodded in agreement. Watching Marc closely, they took up -positions on either side of him. The first doctor moved to a place at -Marc's feet.</p> - -<p>"When I give the signal," he whispered, "we'll all grab at once."</p> - -<p>"I heard that!" Marc yelled. "Stay away from me, you croakers, or -I'll...!"</p> - -<p>"Okay!" the doctor cried. "Grab!"</p> - -<p>The scene over the operating table, for a moment thereafter, was a -living abstraction in flailing arms and legs. Though Marc managed at -one point to insert his thumb into the eye of the first doctor and his -foot into the mouth of the second, the odds were too great against him. -In the end he found himself pinioned helplessly to the table.</p> - -<p>"All right, nurse," the doctor said, "fit the mask to his face. As soon -as the body's relaxed...."</p> - -<p>"You leave that body alone," a pert feminine voice said tartly. "That -body happens to belong to me, for what it's worth, and I don't want it -tampered with. I particularly don't want it relaxed. I want it alert -and twitching in every fibre, and if you don't leave it alone I'm going -to lay into the bunch of you bare fisted!"</p> - -<p>A tense silence overtook the group around the operating table. The -doctors looked at each other, then turned to observe the dismaying -redhead who had mysteriously appeared just behind them.</p> - -<p>"How did you get in here?" the first doctor said uncertainly.</p> - -<p>"I'm the owner of that body you are flinging about there," Toffee said -hotly, shifting the gadget under her arm and placing a hand on her hip. -"That body's mine right down to the last molecule and I've come to -fight for it if I have to."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc sat up under the relaxed grips of the doctors, his face scarlet. -"Why do you have to go around telling people things like that?" he -asked plaintively.</p> - -<p>"I could put it another way," Toffee said. "Dirtier. For instance...."</p> - -<p>"No!" Marc cried. "It's dirty enough already."</p> - -<p>The doctor turned to Marc. "Who is this woman?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know," Marc lied quickly. "I've never seen her before in my -life. Why don't you throw her out of here?"</p> - -<p>"Why, you lying old ingrate!" Toffee flamed. "For two cents I'd climb -up there on that table and perform a few operations of my own!"</p> - -<p>"Madam!" Marc said distantly, "whoever you are, do you really think you -ought to take on in public in this brazen way?"</p> - -<p>"I'll take you on in public, no holds barred, you thin-nosed phony," -Toffee gritted. "You don't know what brazen is yet!"</p> - -<p>The doctor turned to the nurse. "Call the orderlies and have this woman -removed," he said. "And have them give her a blanket or something to -wear. We can't delay the operation another moment. I'll give the -anaesthetic myself."</p> - -<p>"Hey!" Marc yelled. "Toffee...."</p> - -<p>"Go ahead, doctor," Toffee said with evil satisfaction. "Rip him open. -Slit him from ear to ear and top to bottom. I won't lift a finger."</p> - -<p>"No!" Marc cried. He turned to Toffee in panic. "It'll mean the end of -both of us!"</p> - -<p>"Pardon my girlish laughter," Toffee said. "It's worth it, dogmeat, -to see you get yours after the way you've treated me. Either you fork -over that lanky frame of yours, or you're going to be out of frames -entirely. That's the way it stacks up."</p> - -<p>"Do you have to be so vulgar about it all?" Marc asked weakly. "With -all this talk about bodies and frames, I'm beginning to feel like just -so many soup bones displayed on a counter."</p> - -<p>"That's exactly the parallel I've been searching for," Toffee said -complacently. "In fact if there's anything vulgar in all this, it <i>is</i> -your body. Come to think of it, it suddenly strikes me as so vulgar I'm -no longer interested in it."</p> - -<p>"Please!" Marc cried as the doctors gripped him to the table. "Use that -gadget of yours—anything! Please!"</p> - -<p>"Sorry, son," Toffee said. "I guess you'll remember after this never to -forget a lady's name."</p> - -<p>Marc looked up and saw the mask bearing down toward his face. "Toffee!" -he yelled. "For Pete's sake!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The mask miraculously paused in its descent, stopped. The action around -the table came to a sharp halt. Eyes swiveled toward the door. Marc -turned on his side just in time to observe Olliphant Gunn lumbering -into the room under the weight of George's upper quarters.</p> - -<p>The nurse, her blonde hair in a state of dishevelment, followed bearing -the feet and legs. Arriving at a position inside the door, they -deposited their burden on the floor where it instantly curled over on -its side and emitted a sodden snore.</p> - -<p>"It's Mr. Pillsworth," the nurse said breathlessly, shoving back her -hair. "We brought him straight down without waiting for the orderlies." -She looked up into the stunned faces staring back at her from around -the table. Then her gaze fell to Marc.</p> - -<p>"My God!" she gasped.</p> - -<p>"Good Lord!" Marc groaned, taking in the stupid, smiling face of George.</p> - -<p>"Jesus!" breathed the doctor.</p> - -<p>"Amen," Toffee put in glibly. "Who's taking up the collection?"</p> - -<p>Marc turned to Toffee. "It's that gosh-awful spook again!" he breathed. -"He would have to show up now!"</p> - -<p>"Actually," Toffee said, "he could not have shown up at a better time. -I really was going to help you out, but now we have George."</p> - -<p>Marc's eyes brightened with slow realization. "Of course," he said, -then turned as he felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "Yes?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor said tensely. "You <i>are</i> Mr. Pillsworth, -aren't you?"</p> - -<p>Marc smiled with hypocritical innocence. "No," he said. "That's what -I've been trying to get through your thick skull." He pointed to -George. "That's Pillsworth there on the floor. And if you ask me he's -in a pretty critical condition. You'd better start sawing away at him -right now before he pops off of natural causes and robs you of the -sport."</p> - -<p>"Oh, my word!" the doctor gasped. "How can I ever tell you...!"</p> - -<p>"Come," Marc said grandly, turning to Toffee, "let's leave this -blood-splattered slaughter house."</p> - -<p>"I'm all for it," Toffee said gaily. "Let's flee."</p> - -<p>"I thought you didn't know that woman," the doctor said confusedly.</p> - -<p>"I begin to recognize her now," Marc replied urbanely. "It was my -horror at the crass brutality of the medical profession that drove her -tender memory from my mind."</p> - -<p>"But, I ..." the doctor began hopelessly.</p> - -<p>"Say no more," Toffee said airily. "You can tell your side of it in -court."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The two of them, linking arms, started toward the door. They were just -about to sweep out of the room when suddenly the situation hit a new -snag. It was at this juncture that George opened his eyes, waggled -them around woozily, then reared up in a sitting position, staring at -Marc.</p> - -<p>"You!" he said with a strangled gasp. "You're alive!" The way he said -it, it sounded like a hideous accusation.</p> - -<p>Marc stopped short, caught off guard. "Of course I'm alive," he said.</p> - -<p>"But you can't be!" George wailed, great tears of awful disappointment -welling in his eyes. "It isn't fair! You <i>have</i> to be dead!"</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry," Marc said, somewhat at a loss. "I'm not."</p> - -<p>"It's rotten," George said with drunken bitterness. "It's cruel. I'm -probably the only ghost alive who's haunted by a human!"</p> - -<p>"Well, it's a distinction," Toffee offered hopefully.</p> - -<p>"Just a minute," the doctor put in suspiciously. "What's going on here? -What are you people talking about?"</p> - -<p>Marc nodded sadly toward George. "The poor chap's delirious," he said. -"We're only trying to humor him."</p> - -<p>"Oh, yeah?" the doctor said. His gaze moved from Marc to George and -back to Marc again. "Just which one of you really <i>is</i> Marc Pillsworth?"</p> - -<p>Marc and George pointed at each other in unison. "He is!" they chorused.</p> - -<p>The doctor passed a trembling hand over his forehead and lifted his -gaze to the ceiling. A tremor of frustration passed through his sturdy -frame. He turned to the small blonde.</p> - -<p>"Is Mrs. Pillsworth still in the waiting room?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"I believe so, sir," the nurse said.</p> - -<p>"Will you please call her in here to make an identification?"</p> - -<p>"No!" Marc said, glancing uneasily in Toffee's direction. "Don't do -that...! I mean there's no need to disturb Mrs. Pillsworth. Obviously -this pitiful creature here on the floor is Pillsworth. Just by looking -at him you can see he's under the weather."</p> - -<p>At this George drew himself up sedately, stiffling a hiccough. "Nothing -of the sort," he said piously. "I'm in perfectly splendid condition."</p> - -<p>"Go ahead, nurse," the doctor said firmly. "Bring Mrs. Pillsworth."</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir," the nurse said, and departed.</p> - -<p>"But, you can't afford to delay the operation that long," Marc said. -"You said so yourself. Anyone with half an eye can see that this poor -man is getting more feeble by the second. You owe it to him to slit -him open immediately...!" In speaking Marc had paused to look at -George. The result was that the words froze on his lips. Never had he -spoken more truly; George was not only getting more feeble but more -non-existent by the second. His legs had evaporated to the knees, his -arms were entirely gone. Where his eyes should have been there were -now only empty sockets. Staring at this awesome demonstration, the -doctor tottered slightly and braced himself against the operating table.</p> - -<p>"Oh, good Lord!" he moaned.</p> - -<p>"Stop that, you coward," Marc said angrily. "Stop sneaking out like -that!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In response, George merely dissolved his head to a grinning skull. -"Gotta go now," he chortled hollowly. "Gotta be corking off." He turned -to the others and clacked his teeth menacingly. Olliphant Gunn was the -first to snap.</p> - -<p>"There's just so much that human flesh and blood can stand," the poor -man wailed, and leaping to the operating table he snatched up the -anaesthetic mask and plunged it over his face.</p> - -<p>"Come on," Toffee said urgently, tugging at Marc's sleeve. "Let's get -out of here before that cheap ghost sticks us with an operation."</p> - -<p>Marc jolted into action. Under Toffee's guidance, he lunged out the -door and started down the hall.</p> - -<p>"Let's leave this place," Toffee said. "Let's go somewhere where we can -have fun."</p> - -<p>"We can't leave like this," Marc said, indicating their brief attire. -"We can't go out on the street half naked."</p> - -<p>"We can say we're artists' models on our way to work," Toffee said. -"Come on."</p> - -<p>Marc didn't pause to debate the point as a cry from the operating room -indicated that the doctors had recovered from their dismay with an -urgent sense of loss.</p> - -<p>Together, he and Toffee began to run. They proceeded swiftly around a -corner and down a flight of steps to the floor below. Suddenly Marc -stopped.</p> - -<p>"What's wrong?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"Listen," Marc said. "What's that?"</p> - -<p>Toffee listened. Descending footsteps sounded on the stairs behind -them. She whirled about. The stairway was unoccupied.</p> - -<p>"George," she said disgustedly. "He's following us."</p> - -<p>The footsteps stopped guiltily.</p> - -<p>"Okay," Marc said, addressing himself to the empty stairs. "It's no use -pretending you're not there. You might as well show yourself."</p> - -<p>A subdued hiccough echoed out of the emptiness, but that was the extent -of George's communication.</p> - -<p>"If you're entertaining any notion of bumping me off so you can stay -here," Marc warned, "just forget it. I'm alive and I intend to stay -that way."</p> - -<p>"Just ignore him," Toffee said. "He's bound to get bored and go away if -we refuse to pay any attention to him."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The discussion went no further, for suddenly there were sounds of -approaching pursuit from above. Grabbing Toffee's arm, Marc raced -ahead, down the hall and around another corner. A third set of -footsteps continued to sound in their wake.</p> - -<p>"He's still with us," Toffee panted.</p> - -<p>"The vulture," Marc said. "He's just hoping they'll catch me. Run -faster."</p> - -<p>Renewing their efforts, they left behind another stretch of corridor, -turned another corner. There they stopped abruptly. Ahead a group of -orderlies loomed before them.</p> - -<p>"That's them!" a young athletic type yelled. "That's Pillsworth!"</p> - -<p>"To hell with Pillsworth!" a companion responded. "Get the dame! She's -practically all skin, just like they said!"</p> - -<p>Marc and Toffee darted back around the corner.</p> - -<p>"Surrounded!" Toffee panted. "I think that sums up the situation."</p> - -<p>"What'll we do?" Marc asked confusedly.</p> - -<p>Toffee pointed to a door marked JANITOR'S CLOSET. "In there," she said. -"Quick!"</p> - -<p>They ran to the door, threw it open and darted inside just as their -pursuers surged into view at either end of the hallway. They paused -in the darkness to listen. As the sounds of the chase continued -outside they turned their attention to their new surroundings. The -air was close with the heady aroma of cleaning fluid, wax polish and -disinfectant.</p> - -<p>"Isn't there a light in here?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"I can't find one," Marc said. "I've looked all over."</p> - -<p>"Well," Toffee said, "at least it's a place to relax for a bit and -catch our breath. I just wish it didn't smell so oppressively clean. I -was hoping for a bit of dirt tonight—of the right sort, of course."</p> - -<p>"You stay on your side of the closet," Marc said, "and I'll stay on -mine."</p> - -<p>"We'll never get anywhere that way," Toffee said. "Suppose Romeo had -taken that attitude with Juliet?"</p> - -<p>"They'd both have lived a lot longer," Marc said.</p> - -<p>"I suspect that George is in here with us," Toffee said. "I fancy I -hear him breathing back there amongst the mops and brooms."</p> - -<p>"I suppose he is," Marc said. There was a pause, followed by a number -of rattling sounds. "What are you doing?"</p> - -<p>"There's a whole shelf of bottles over there," Toffee said. "I'm just -sniffing about to see if there's anything interesting. And there is. -The janitor has strong tastes. Irish whiskey, I should judge, by the -jolt of it. Have some?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc paused, took note of the new vapors overriding those of the -cleaning fluids.</p> - -<p>"Well," he said, "it is a little drafty in this nightgown."</p> - -<p>Toffee handed him the bottle in the darkness. "Bottoms," she said -pleasantly.</p> - -<p>"The expression," Marc said sedately, "is bottoms up."</p> - -<p>"Up or down," Toffee said, "it doesn't matter. I was just tossing in -bottoms at random. Assorted bottoms, so to speak. If you prefer them -up, you'll get no argument out of me."</p> - -<p>There was a smacking sound as Marc lowered the bottle from his lips. -"Let's just skip the bottoms," he said, "and go on to something else."</p> - -<p>"Sounds pretty giddy," Toffee mused, "all this leaping about over -bottoms. However...."</p> - -<p>"Look outside," Marc suggested wearily, "and see if they're still out -there."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Toffee said. A small shaft of light darted in and out of the -closet as she opened the door and closed it again. "They're churning -about like cattle in a loading chute," she reported. "Where are you?"</p> - -<p>"Sitting on the floor," Marc said. "I'm beginning to find this place -restful."</p> - -<p>"You're beginning to stink of Irish whiskey," Toffee said. "Stop -gulping at that bottle like a great fish and hand it back."</p> - -<p>"I wonder if we should offer George a drink?" Marc said with growing -amiability. "I definitely heard him breathing back there just now. -Sounds a trifle wheezy, I'm afraid."</p> - -<p>"I think we ought to banish George from our minds," Toffee said. -"Besides, now that I've got the bottle back I don't intend to be free -about handing it around for quite some time."</p> - -<p>"All right," Marc said. "Have it your way. George is banished."</p> - -<p>There was a prolonged period of contented silence, broken -intermittently by faint gurgling sounds, first from one side of the -closet then the other. It was Toffee who finally spoke.</p> - -<p>"By the way," she said, "what was all that nonsense about your getting -yourself shot?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," Marc said negligently. "It's a bunch of subversives. -They have a subtle plan to poison the minds of the public against -the government—with the government's permission. I went on the air -to expose them, but they had me shot to stop me. There was this dark -fellow with a scar over his left eye in the control booth...." He -paused. "Holy smoke! I forgot. This is serious business, isn't it?"</p> - -<p>"It sounds like it," Toffee said. "How far did you get in your -broadcast?"</p> - -<p>"I didn't even get started. I suppose I ought to try to do it again."</p> - -<p>"If they think you're dead or dying, they won't be watching for you any -more."</p> - -<p>"That's right," Marc said. "Let's get out of here."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Toffee said. "Just take your arms away from my waist so I can -get up."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" Marc said. "I don't have my arms around your waist."</p> - -<p>"You haven't!" Toffee said. "Didn't you take the gadget from under my -arm either?"</p> - -<p>"Of course not."</p> - -<p>"It's that sneaky George," Toffee snorted. "And when I think of how I -was enjoying it...!" She turned in the darkness. "Let go of me before -I lose my temper, George. So help me, you spurious spectre, I'll twist -your head off when I get ahold of you."</p> - -<p>There was no answer but apparently the threat had taken hold; there -were sounds of Toffee getting to her feet.</p> - -<p>"That'll hold him," she said. "Look outside and see how things are. I -want that gadget back."</p> - -<p>Marc fumbled his way to the door, opened it a crack, then shoved it all -the way open.</p> - -<p>"All clear," he said and turned back to Toffee. "Can you see him back -there? Is he visible?"</p> - -<p>"I can just make him out," Toffee said, peering into the back of the -closet. "He's sort of lurking."</p> - -<p>"Okay, you rat," Marc said. "Come out of there and give it to us. Snap -into it."</p> - -<p>There were shuffling sounds from the shadows and slowly a figure -emerged into the light. It was a dark, heavy figure. The face was -swarthy and there was a scar over the left eye. The man leered at the -two in the doorway.</p> - -<p>"Okay," he said. "Keep your shirts on. I'm going to give it to you all -right. I'm going to give it to you good."</p> - -<p>He moved closer. In his left hand was Toffee's gadget, in his right an -enormous revolver.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The swarthy man closed the door to the storeroom, locked it, and -shaking his head, moved purposefully down the hallway to a door -at the front of the warehouse. He stopped and knocked, and as an -unintelligible grunt issued from inside, he opened the door and entered.</p> - -<p>"I got 'em," he announced.</p> - -<p>Across the room a portly gentleman with a white mane and great shaggy -black eyebrows looked up from a sheaf of papers on the desk before him.</p> - -<p>"Them?" he said. "I told you just to pick up Pillsworth and finish him -off."</p> - -<p>The swarthy man glanced away, embarrassed. "I couldn't finish him off, -congressman. He wasn't even started. I went to the hospital, like you -told me, to make sure about Pillsworth—and I was going along the hall -lookin' for this place where they cut 'em up—and all of a sudden there -was a racket like a lot of people runnin' around and yellin', so I -ducked into this closet to keep under cover. Well, I was only in there -a little bit when all of a sudden somebody yanks the door open and this -guy and this dame come shaggin' in with hardly any clothes on. So I -kept quiet and listened."</p> - -<p>"I'm not interested in the sordid doings behind the scenes at the -hospital," Congressman Entwerp interrupted. "Stick to the pertinent -facts."</p> - -<p>"Oh, no, it wasn't nothin' like that. I just listened and pretty soon -it come up in what they were sayin' that this guy with the dame is none -other than Pillsworth himself. And believe me, congressman, I can't -explain it, but there ain't a thing wrong with him—physically."</p> - -<p>"Physically?" the congressman asked. "What do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"The guy's mentally a mess," the thug said. "So's this dame with him. -She's a terrific lookin' little job, but crazy as a coot. It's a dirty -shame."</p> - -<p>"How do you know they're crazy?"</p> - -<p>"Just ask Hank. He drove the car. All the way over from the hospital -they kept talkin' to this guy who wasn't there, and bawlin' him out for -followin' them everyplace. They called him George, and they carried on -a regular conversation with him. It was weird, leave me tell you. But -one thing, this guy George, whoever he is, is lucky he doesn't exist; -the way that little dame kept tellin' him what she was going to do to -him if he didn't show himself and help them out of this jam was enough -to curl your hair. Pillsworth was all the time tellin' this imaginary -character what a ghoul he was to be hangin' around just to see him get -killed. They're both nuts, boss, an' no lie!"</p> - -<p>"Maybe it was just an act," Congressman Entwerp suggested skeptically.</p> - -<p>"I don't think so. You'd really have to feel mean to say some of the -stuff those two was dishin' out to this George." The thug paused -and withdrew Toffee's thought gadget from his pocket. "Look what I -lifted off the dame in the closet." He placed it on the desk before -the congressman. "She's plenty hot to get it back. You'd think it was -somethin' worth somethin'."</p> - -<p>"What is it?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know. Some sort of two-way flashlight, I guess. Just a piece -of junk."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman bent his shaggy head close over the gadget and examined -it minutely. He picked it up, weighed it in his hand, then shrugged and -dropped it negligently into his pocket.</p> - -<p>"Let's have a look at these two crackpots," he said, rising from his -chair. "We'll have to dispose of them, of course."</p> - -<p>"Okay," the thug said. "I just hope they've got things settled with -this George before we get there."</p> - -<p>Back in the storeroom, however, events were lurching ahead in a most -uncertain manner. Things had started with an air of mild strangeness -and mounted swiftly to a state of wild-eyed madness.</p> - -<p>Finding themselves confined and in the hands of blood-thirsting -murderers, Marc and Toffee had paused only momentarily to survey their -musty prison, the cases of wines, brandies and whiskies stacked along -the walls, before returning to the subject uppermost in their minds. -Toffee, doubling her fists, addressed herself to the room at large.</p> - -<p>"George," she said evenly, "we know you're with us. You gave yourself -away in the car when you let that foot materialize, and you'll give -yourself away again. And when you do, brother, I'm going to kick your -teeth out one at a time and have them made into shirt studs. I'm going -to...!"</p> - -<p>"It's no use threatening him," Marc interrupted. "He's got the -advantage. He's just hanging around waiting for me to be killed. And -he'll probably have his way before they're done with us."</p> - -<p>In answer, a stifled yawn echoed from somewhere in back of them. Toffee -whirled about.</p> - -<p>"Listen to him!" she fumed. "Now he's rubbing it in! That was the most -put-on yawn I ever heard."</p> - -<p>She started forward, but Marc put out a hand to stop her. He drew her -toward the corner.</p> - -<p>"Listen," he said in lowered tones, "I've just thought of something. -Maybe we can trap him."</p> - -<p>"We certainly should be able to," Toffee agreed hotly. "George is pure -rat, through and through. If we only had some cheese...."</p> - -<p>"What about whiskey?" Marc asked. "There's plenty of it here, and where -George is concerned it's the best bait in the world."</p> - -<p>"I wonder why he hasn't been at it already?" Toffee said, surveying the -crates along the walls. "The place is practically seething with the -stuff."</p> - -<p>"He's too smart," Marc said. "He doesn't want to show where he is. -By the time he opened a crate and got the bottle out we'd have him -located. He's afraid we'd slug him."</p> - -<p>"Of course we'd slug him," Toffee said. "I personally intend to bop -the living bejesus out of him at the very first opportunity. What -difference does that make?"</p> - -<p>"He knows what we're after," Marc explained. "He knows we want him to -show himself to these people so they won't know which one of us is me. -And look what happened to George the last time he was knocked out."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee looked up with a smile of understanding. "Of course!" she said. -"He lost control of his ectoplasm and materialized."</p> - -<p>"Exactly," Marc said, "and it might happen again. Then it would not -be just a matter of confusing them with the two of us. If George -materialized we could leave him to take the rap all by himself."</p> - -<p>"Wonderful!" Toffee said. "Let's do it. It would serve everybody -right. How do we trap him?"</p> - -<p>"It's simple," Marc said. "We open the crates and get the bottles out -<i>for</i> George. At first we pretend to forget about him; we sit around -and act like we're swilling down whiskey by the gallon and having the -time of our lives. This will drive George close to madness, locked in -a room with two drinkers and no drop for himself. When we figure he's -sufficiently worked up, we'll weaken and offer him a drink. He won't be -able to resist. While one of us hands over his bottle, the other takes -a fix on George's position and bashes the daylights out of him with -this." Marc permitted himself a smile of pride. "You see?"</p> - -<p>"Marvelous," Toffee said. "I particularly love that part at the end, -where George gets bashed. Can I be the basher?"</p> - -<p>"Okay," Marc agreed. "Let's go. And remember, act as though you've -never enjoyed drinking anything so much in your whole life."</p> - -<p>With tremendous nonchalance, the two moved across the room to the -stacked crates.</p> - -<p>"My, my," Marc said in a declamatory, radio announcer's tone, "what do -you suppose we have here in all these interesting-looking crates?"</p> - -<p>"I should think," Toffee said on cue, "that they contain bottles of -fine old tangy whiskey. Of course that's just a random guess, but I -believe it's a shrewd one. Shall we have a look?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, let's!" Marc cried, with a false grin of eagerness. He turned -slightly in what he presumed to be George's direction. "A drink of fine -old tangy whiskey would certainly taste mighty good just now."</p> - -<p>"I can think of nothing better!" Toffee said, smacking her lips loudly. -"My mouth fairly waters!"</p> - -<p>Marc reached one of the crates down and, placing it on the floor, pried -up one of the slats. He reached out two bottles and handed one toward -Toffee.</p> - -<p>"Well, well," he cried with studied joviality. "Look what I found!"</p> - -<p>Toffee clapped her hands after the manner of a witless child. "Oh, -goody!" she gurgled. "Some of that wonderful fine old tangy whiskey! -Just what I hoped for!" She took the bottle, opened it and took a -swallow. She blanched and covered her face with her hand. "Ugh!" she -rasped.</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir!" Marc said, lifting his bottle to his mouth. "Some of the -finest, oldest and tangyest fine old tangy whiskey there is." He rolled -his eyes in broad anticipation. "Yes, sir, bedad!"</p> - -<p>"It's a good thing you said that before you tasted the stuff," Toffee -hissed between clenched teeth. "You'd never have the breath afterward."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The warning came too late; Marc had already downed a large swallow. He -closed his eyes and gagged. Like Toffee, however, he forced a frozen -smile through his tears and rubbed his stomach luxuriously. "Umm-umm," -he managed to say. "It sure hits the spot."</p> - -<p>"And leaves it in ruins," Toffee agreed. "They must cook this stuff up -in old lye vats."</p> - -<p>"Keep drinking," Marc whispered urgently. "And look happy."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Toffee said grimly. "I'll die with a smile on my face, but -it'll be the lie of the century." She lifted the bottle gamely and -drank. "Oh, boy!" she rasped through drawn lips, "this whiskey is the -answer to a drunkard's prayer."</p> - -<p>Marc drank dutifully in turn. "You said it!" he announced, tears -streaming from his eyes. "It's delicious!"</p> - -<p>"I could go on drinking it forever," Toffee wheezed, taking another -gulp and clutching her throat. "It's so smooth!"</p> - -<p>"Makes you want more and more," Marc said, shaking his head to clear it -after a third libation. "It gives you a real boost."</p> - -<p>"Let's not carry it too far," Toffee whispered. "If I drink any more of -this mange medicine I won't be able to hit the barnside of a broad."</p> - -<p>"Broadside of a barn," Marc corrected her weakly. "But you're right. -We'd better make the pitch while we're still conscious."</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded and made a great show of registering happy inspiration. -"Say," she cried, "you know who would just love this whiskey?"</p> - -<p>"No," Marc replied like the second part in a minstrel skit. "Who?"</p> - -<p>"George!" Toffee said. "You remember good old George?"</p> - -<p>Marc nodded vigorously. "Wouldn't he be just crazy about whiskey like -this?"</p> - -<p>"He certainly would. Crazy mad, he'd be. Isn't it too bad he's not -here?" Then Toffee brightened. "But perhaps he is! You never can tell -about good old George."</p> - -<p>"But when we were talking to him earlier he didn't answer."</p> - -<p>"Perhaps he misunderstood something one of us said," Toffee suggested. -"Maybe he didn't understand our type of humor and got offended. You -know, like when I said I was going to gouge his eyes out? A harmless -remark to most people, but perhaps not so to good old George."</p> - -<p>"True," Marc said sagely. "George always was sensitive." He glanced -around the room. "George?" he called. "If you're here, old man, how -about having a drink with us? If we said anything to hurt your feelings -we certainly didn't mean to."</p> - -<p>He paused to listen. There was a hesitant shuffling across the room.</p> - -<p>"Well ..." a voice said uneasily.</p> - -<p>Marc and Toffee exchanged glances of triumph.</p> - -<p>"You mustn't miss out on this, old man," Marc cajoled. "You really -mustn't."</p> - -<p>"And it will make such a nice friendly gesture," Toffee put in, "to -show that you forgive us our thoughtless little jibes."</p> - -<p>"Well," the voice returned, a shade less hesitant. "I am a little dry."</p> - -<p>"Of course you are," Marc said jovially, "and we have the very thing to -bring you comfort and contentment. Just step over here and I'll give -you this whole bottle."</p> - -<p>"No tricks?" George asked warily.</p> - -<p>"George!" Toffee said, thoroughly scandalized, "how can you even -entertain such a notion?"</p> - -<p>"Just to show you," Marc said, "why don't you stay invisible? You're -perfectly safe that way."</p> - -<p>"Okay," George agreed. "Just hold out the bottle."</p> - -<p>"Right-oh," Marc said and turned to Toffee. "Give it everything," he -whispered. Toffee nodded.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As Marc held out the bottle, Toffee sighted on the area in line with -his hand, on the principle that George, being a duplicate of Marc, his -head would be on the same level. The best strategy, she felt, was to -concentrate on this area as swiftly and violently as possible. She held -the bottle in readiness and when, a moment later, the bottle jogged in -Marc's hand, she was prepared. She swung as hard as she could in a wide -horizontal swipe. About half way, the bottle jarred to an abrupt stop -and shattered, spewing liquid and glass in all directions. This was -subsequently followed by a surprised moan and a heavy thudding sound in -the vicinity of the floor.</p> - -<p>"Got him!" Toffee cried jubilantly. "Smashed him right on the button!" -She dropped the jagged neck of the bottle daintily to the floor.</p> - -<p>"He's still invisible," Marc said worriedly. "I hope there'll be -developments."</p> - -<p>Developments came almost immediately, and they were well worth -watching, though hardly the sight for sore eyes. Marc's calculations -had been correct. Surprised, as it were, into unconsciousness, George -had completely lost control of his ectoplasm. The trouble, though, -was that instead of splashing out through his body all of a piece, it -trickled out in fits and starts.</p> - -<p>What appeared on the floor, under Marc's and Toffee's watchful eyes, -was not George in total, but a sort of jig-saw George in which many -of the vital pieces had been omitted. While one could be grateful for -George's head, there was bound to be a pang of regret for the neck -which had failed to appear.</p> - -<p>An arm lay to the left, with only a finger or two to indicate that it -had once blossomed a hand. Had there ever been an expression to the -effect that half a torso was better than none, George had disproved -it beyond measure; a torso, apparently severed from the collar bone -to the mid-riff was so much worse than no torso at all as to be -positively hair-raising. A random foot here, an errant knee cap there -only garnished the over-all picture of hideous human butchery. With a -shudder of revulsion, Toffee turned from the awful sight.</p> - -<p>"Leave it to George," she said, "just leave it to that monster to be as -revolting as possible."</p> - -<p>"I don't suppose it's really his fault," Marc said fairly, "but I wish -he were invisible again."</p> - -<p>It was at this moment that the congressman and his henchman, having -completed their discussion in the front of the warehouse, arrived at -the door of the storeroom and fitted a key to the lock.</p> - -<p>"Duck!" Toffee said. "Get behind those crates!"</p> - -<p>"What about you?"</p> - -<p>"I'm going to get my invention back. Besides they can't hurt me, and -the important thing is to give you a chance to escape."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Marc nodded and faded into the dimness behind the crates.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee moved to the nearest stack of boxes, boosted herself atop them -and leaned back in an attitude of relaxed languor. She watched from -the corner of her eye as the door swung open and the congressman and -the thug advanced into the room. She lifted her gaze dreamily to the -ceiling and began to hum quietly to herself.</p> - -<p>"There she is, boss," the thug said. "There's the dame, up there."</p> - -<p>"My word!" Congressman Entwerp said. "Where did Pillsworth ever pick -her up?"</p> - -<p>"In a Turkish bath, I guess, before they passed out the towels."</p> - -<p>Toffee turned slowly and observed the two with heavy disdain.</p> - -<p>"Please be quiet," she drawled, "you're disturbing my meditations."</p> - -<p>"Where's Pillsworth?" the thug asked.</p> - -<p>Toffee shrugged. "Somewhere around, I suppose."</p> - -<p>"Okay, sister," the thug growled, "cut out the jazz. Where is he?"</p> - -<p>"You're sure you want to know?"</p> - -<p>"We insist," Congressman Entwerp said.</p> - -<p>"Then just step nearer," Toffee said with an airy wave, "and feast your -eyes. You will find Mr. Pillsworth—more or less—on the floor, just to -the right of these boxes. I'm sure you'll excuse him if he doesn't rise -to greet you."</p> - -<p>Warily, the two men edged closer. Then suddenly the thug, catching -sight of George in his disconnected condition, stopped short. His mouth -worked soundlessly, and his eyes rolled loosely in their sockets. The -congressman, not yet aware of George, looked at him.</p> - -<p>"What's the matter with you?" he asked shortly. "Why are you standing -there making faces? Stop that and...!"</p> - -<p>The tirade ended abruptly as the congressman's gaze fell to George. He -lost his breath in a thin wheeze.</p> - -<p>For a long moment the two men simply goggled, then slowly they turned -away.</p> - -<p>"You fool!" the congressman screamed. "I only told you to finish him -off, not to hack him up into cutlets!"</p> - -<p>"But I didn't!" the thug said shakenly. "He was all right when I locked -him in here."</p> - -<p>"Then, who...!"</p> - -<p>Together, the two of them turned and regarded Toffee with incredulous -eyes. Toffee returned their stares with innocent directness.</p> - -<p>"Yes, gentlemen?" she murmured.</p> - -<p>"Did you...?" the congressman began, then broke off with a shudder.</p> - -<p>"Did I what?" Toffee asked demurely.</p> - -<p>"What the congressman means," the thug said in a whisper, "is did -you ... do <i>that</i>?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," Toffee said. She returned her gaze thoughtfully to the -ceiling as though trying to remember. Finally she shook her head. "No," -she said. "I'm certain that's not one of my jobs. Too messy."</p> - -<p>The men gaped.</p> - -<p>"Holy smoke!" the thug quavered. "What happened to him?"</p> - -<p>"Who knows?" Toffee shrugged. "Maybe he has some horrible disease. I -figure it's his business."</p> - -<p>"Good God!" the congressman breathed. "We've got to get him off our -hands. We'll have to be careful, though. The hospital has the entire -police force out looking for him. It's on the radio. If we were caught -with him in that condition the party wouldn't like it."</p> - -<p>"Nobody would like it," the thug said. "Shall we dump him in the river?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman shook his head. "Too many patrolmen around. There must -be...." His voice trailed off into thoughtful silence. Finally he -nodded with decision. "We won't try to hide him. We'll deliver him to -the police just as he is—in an automobile crash. The girl too."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" the thug said. "How do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"It's simple enough. Pillsworth looks like a crash victim, so why don't -we just let him be one? Go get a sack or something to carry him out -in." He turned and moved toward the door. "I'll have Hank fix up one of -the cars."</p> - -<p>"Good night, boss," the thug said plaintively, following after him, -"you mean I've got to pick him up—with my hands!"</p> - -<p>The moment they were gone, locking the door after them, Toffee jumped -down from her perch and Marc appeared from the shadows.</p> - -<p>"Do you know who that was?" Marc asked excitedly.</p> - -<p>"The old bird with the sable hair-do?"</p> - -<p>Marc nodded. "It's Congressman Entwerp. I should have known he was -behind this mess. And that isn't all; those crates of cheap whiskey are -just a front. Underneath there's enough bacteria culture to wipe out -the whole country. These boys are planning mass murder!"</p> - -<p>"Also individual murder," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"They're going to arrange an auto crash. When the wreckage is sorted -out George and I will be prominent amongst the demolished extras."</p> - -<p>"Good grief!"</p> - -<p>"It's nothing to worry about," Toffee said. "After all, they can't -possibly kill me—or George either, for that matter. In the meantime -you can contact the police and see that they're arrested. There's -just one thing though; you're going to have to get the police without -letting the police get you."</p> - -<p>"Huh?"</p> - -<p>"It seems the entire force is out scouring the city for you, and I get -the impression that they're supposed to rush you along to the operating -room without messing around with any conversation."</p> - -<p>"Golly," Marc said. "How am I going to work it? Even if I get a chance -to tell them about Entwerp, they'll just think I'm delirious."</p> - -<p>"Be your own bait," Toffee suggested. "Entwerp will be busy murdering -George and me. All you have to do is get the cops to chase you to -the scene of the crime so they can catch him red-handed. I'll see to -it that the door's left unlocked long enough for you to get out of -here...." She stopped as the key sounded again in the lock. "Anyway, -work it out as you go along, and I'll see you later..."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"What took so long?" the congressman demanded. He was standing by the -green sedan, holding the door open.</p> - -<p>"It was the dame," the thug said breathlessly. "When I turned to lock -up the storeroom, she let out a yip and took off. I had to chase her -all over the joint before I caught her."</p> - -<p>At his side, Toffee shook her head to get the hair out of her eyes. "I -just wanted a little exercise to get up the circulation," she said.</p> - -<p>"We certainly circulated," the thug agreed sourly. "All over the place."</p> - -<p>"You didn't leave the storeroom open?" the congressman asked.</p> - -<p>"I went back and locked it."</p> - -<p>"I see you got Pillsworth in the car."</p> - -<p>"Yeah," the thug said. "But he handled awful funny, like he was all -strung together with invisible wire. I had a job spreadin' him out in -the seat."</p> - -<p>The congressman looked at him sharply. "You've probably been drinking -that dummy whiskey again," he said. "Anyway, let's get going. The girl -will have to drive."</p> - -<p>"I don't know how to drive," Toffee said. "Besides, I haven't got a -license."</p> - -<p>"Never mind, sister," the thug said, "that's even better." He nudged -her toward the door of the car, as the congressman moved off into the -night. Toffee gazed inward at the dismembered George sprawled across -the seat.</p> - -<p>"Do I have to get in there with him?" she asked.</p> - -<p>"The boss doesn't want you to be lonesome," the thug said.</p> - -<p>"I'd rather be lonesome," Toffee said, but she got into the car anyway.</p> - -<p>The thug closed the door after her and leaned through the window.</p> - -<p>"Just so you'll know," he said, "I'd better explain. This car hasn't -any brakes, and the steering is fixed. It's okay now, but after a few -minutes it will break and the car will be out of control. We have it -timed out with the curve at the end of the speedway, the one called -Dead Man's Curve. By the time you reach that the wheel will be just -about as much good to you as a set of knitting needles. In other words, -you're going to drive due south with your foot to the floor and crack -up on the curve. No one's missed that curve yet and lived."</p> - -<p>"There's always a first time," Toffee said brightly.</p> - -<p>"Don't count on it, sugar. And just to make sure you do what you're -told, the congressman and me will be alongside in the congressman's -car. I personally will be holding a rod aimed at your head, so don't -get notions. Also, we want to be around to report the accident."</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded approvingly. "It only seems the sort of thing any good -citizen would do," she said.</p> - -<p>The gunman stared at her. "Too bad a good looking dame like you has to -be so wacky."</p> - -<p>"We all have our little flaws," Toffee said chattily. "That's life."</p> - -<p>"Aren't you even worried?"</p> - -<p>Toffee shook her head. "I've always wanted to learn to drive," she -said, smiling.</p> - -<p>"Oh, my God!" the thug moaned. "Maybe, it's best; you're sure to kill -yourself sooner or later anyway."</p> - -<p>"Of course," Toffee said, patting his hand. "I don't want you to blame -yourself. Just consider you're doing a public service."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Meanwhile, a lanky figure had emerged warily from the warehouse and -was lurking, in a twitchy sort of way, in the dimness of the alley. -Obscured in shadow, Marc had watched Toffee get into the green sedan, -the thug instructing her in the art of driving. He glanced anxiously -down the street, praying for a police car.</p> - -<p>A small coupe, with a man and woman inside, pulled up to the curb at -the end of the block, and the man got out and disappeared into the -telegraph office on the corner. But that was all.</p> - -<p>Marc jumped as he heard the green sedan start up. He turned to see a -black limousine, driven by the congressman, pull up beside it. The -thug crossed and got inside and a moment later the barrel of a gun -caught light from the window. Time was seeping out.</p> - -<p>Ducking from cover, Marc raced for the coupe and the waiting woman on -the corner. Reaching it, he threw the door open and jumped inside. The -woman, a faded blonde, pressed back against the seat with a startled -cry. Marc, however, was too relieved at finding the key in the ignition -to notice.</p> - -<p>He started the car, threw it into gear and set it in motion almost in -a single action. The woman's reaction to this was a shrill, braying -scream.</p> - -<p>"Please," Marc said distractedly. "Don't." The woman screamed again. -"Do you have to do that?" he asked annoyedly.</p> - -<p>"I have to do something, don't I?" the woman enquired wretchedly. "I -can't just sit here, can I?"</p> - -<p>"I don't see why not," Marc said, peering down the street intently. "It -doesn't help anything to scream like that."</p> - -<p>"It helps me plenty," the woman retorted hotly. "When naked men come -leaping into a lady's car and driving her off to God knows what, it -gives her a great satisfaction to scream." As though to prove her point -she paused to scream again. "Anyway, it makes her feel a hell of a lot -better."</p> - -<p>"I don't see why," Marc said with rising irritation.</p> - -<p>"Well, put yourself in my place," the woman snapped. "What would you -do if a naked man came leaping into your car?"</p> - -<p>"Naked men don't leap into my car." Marc said self-righteously. "I -wouldn't let them."</p> - -<p>"Are you suggesting that I invite naked men to come leaping into my -car?" the woman asked frigidly. "I'll have you know...."</p> - -<p>"The way you carry on about it," Marc said, "one just automatically -draws his own conclusions. One pictures a whole procession of naked men -just waiting their turn to leap into your car, you're such an authority -on these occasions."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>For a moment the blonde fell into a sulky silence. She glanced out the -window at the rapidly passing scenery.</p> - -<p>"What I want to know," she said at length, "is what is my husband going -to say."</p> - -<p>"Not knowing your husband," Marc said, "I'm in no position to guess. If -I were you I'd judge by the way he's expressed himself on other similar -occasions."</p> - -<p>"There you go again," the woman said, "insulting me. Where are you -taking me?"</p> - -<p>"I'm not taking you anywhere," Marc said. "I'm taking myself. You just -happened to be here."</p> - -<p>"Oh," the woman said, not, it seemed, without a touch of -disappointment. There was another lapse of silence.</p> - -<p>"Do you know where there's a cop?" Marc asked, after a few more blocks.</p> - -<p>"If I did," the woman said, "I'd be with him instead of you. What do -you want with a cop?"</p> - -<p>"I've got to find one," Marc said anxiously. "It means everything."</p> - -<p>By this time the woman had resigned herself to the unhappy fact that -she was out for a spin with a raving lunatic. She nodded sagely, as -though agreeing with this last remark entirely.</p> - -<p>"Sure," she said, "sometimes I feel that way myself. Cops are -everything. It just sweeps over me all of a heap."</p> - -<p>"What sweeps over you?" Marc asked absently.</p> - -<p>"Cops," the woman said.</p> - -<p>"Do you think you ought to be making these little confessions to a -total stranger?" Marc asked distastefully. "Or do you mean your husband -is a cop?"</p> - -<p>"Of course not," the woman said. "My husband is a butcher. What's that -got to do with it? I was just saying that sometimes cops just seem to -surge over me." She giggled with nervous desperation. "A sort of blue -serge, you might say."</p> - -<p>"Well," Marc said, "since you seem to know all these cops so well, you -ought to be able to tell me where they hang out."</p> - -<p>"I don't know all these cops," the woman said.</p> - -<p>"You mean they're a bunch of total strangers?" Marc asked, thoroughly -shocked. "My word!"</p> - -<p>"Couldn't we just drop the subject?" the woman asked defeatedly. "I'm -all confused somehow."</p> - -<p>"I should think you would be confused," Marc agreed. His voice trailed -away on a rising inflection as he spotted a police car parked at the -curb across the street. "Cops!" he breathed. He glanced ahead. "You see -that green sedan up ahead with the black limousine beside it?"</p> - -<p>The woman nodded vaguely. "The one that just cut up over the sidewalk? -What about it?"</p> - -<p>"Keep your eye on it," Marc instructed, "while I get the cop's -attention. It's a matter of life and death."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The green sedan, as it turned out, was eminently worth keeping an -eye on. Toffee, beleaguered as she was with the mechanics of keeping -the vehicle in motion, had come upon other problems. Early in the -game, feeling vague stirrings at her side, she had looked around to -see George's dismembered head yawn thickly and open its eyes. Then, -as if this wasn't loathsome enough, a set of fingers wriggled to the -edge of the seat, gripped it and boosted the halved torso around so -that the disjointed feet dropped to the floor. George, rising from -unconsciousness had hauled himself into a sitting position. Toffee -looked on this development without favor.</p> - -<p>"Stay down, George," she hissed. "Get back where you were."</p> - -<p>The head swiveled around hideously, a wounded look in its eyes.</p> - -<p>"Oh, it's you, is it?" he said sadly. "You hit me."</p> - -<p>"And I'll hit you again," Toffee promised, "if you don't get down."</p> - -<p>George merely looked baffled at this. "Where are we goin'?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"To an accident," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>George's face brightened. "Was Marc in it?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"It hasn't happened yet," Toffee explained. "We're going to be in it, -you and I. In fact, we're the whole accident."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" George said, edging up a bit. "Us?"</p> - -<p>"That's right," Toffee nodded. "They figure we know too much."</p> - -<p>"Too much about what?"</p> - -<p>"About this subversive business," Toffee said. "They think we know -their plan to overthrow the government."</p> - -<p>"So they're going to kill us in an accident?"</p> - -<p>"Uh-huh."</p> - -<p>"Aren't you scared?"</p> - -<p>Toffee shrugged. "Why should I be? I'm a product of Marc's mind. I -can't possibly be destroyed unless he is. And he's perfectly safe."</p> - -<p>"He is?" George said, his voice heavy with disappointment. "Why don't -these people want to kill him?"</p> - -<p>"They think they are killing him," Toffee said. "They think you're -Marc. In fact they believe you're already dead."</p> - -<p>"What!" George cried. "You mean I'm acting as a decoy to save Marc's -life?"</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded smugly. "Some onions, eh, George?"</p> - -<p>"Stop the car!" George shouted. "Let me out!"</p> - -<p>"No brakes," Toffee said. She nodded toward the limousine. "Besides, -they won't let me. You'd better get down in the seat or they'll think -it's funny."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"I hope they do," George said sullenly. "I hope they think it's funny -as hell and do something about it. It's so damned unfair." And with -that he leaned across Toffee, jutted his head out the window and began -baying in the direction of the limousine.</p> - -<p>"Stop that!" Toffee said. "It sounds awful."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>George swiveled his frightful head around in her direction. "It -should," he said. "It's the <i>Torment Lament</i>. I learned it in the -Moaning Chorus and it's guaranteed to drive you mad in nothing flat." -He turned back to the night and the limousine and sent his voice -wailing into the wind.</p> - -<p>It was an effort that was not lost on its audience. The occupants of -the limousine looked around sharply with horrified eyes.</p> - -<p>"Jesus in Heaven!" the thug gasped.</p> - -<p>At his side the congressman was so taken with the fearsome recital that -he completely forgot he was driving. As the car careened dangerously, -the thug reached out and pulled the wheel.</p> - -<p>"Isn't it awful, boss?" he breathed.</p> - -<p>"Awful doesn't begin to tell it," the congressman choked. "It's—it's -<i>awful</i>!"</p> - -<p>"Yeah. That's what I mean to say."</p> - -<p>"How can anything sound like that?" the congressman asked hauntedly.</p> - -<p>"If it can look like that," the thug said, "I guess it shouldn't have -no trouble soundin' like that."</p> - -<p>"And look at that girl, will you? She's actually talking to the filthy -thing."</p> - -<p>"She looks plenty hot under the collar."</p> - -<p>"Why not? I'd be sore as hell myself."</p> - -<p>"When do we get to the curve, boss?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know," the congressman said. "But I can't wait. The sooner -that car crashes and takes that frightful thing with it the better."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Meanwhile, as the two cars skidded and reeled toward the appointed spot -of disaster, Marc continued to loiter several blocks behind. Having -deliberately cut across traffic in the middle of the block, he pulled -up beside the police car and leaned out the window.</p> - -<p>"I just cut across traffic!" he called out.</p> - -<p>The cop behind the wheel left his conversation with his companion and -observed Marc dubiously.</p> - -<p>"So what?" he asked. "You want me to give you a gold star on your -driver's license?"</p> - -<p>"I don't have a driver's license," Marc offered hopefully. "What are -you going to do about it, you big, thick-headed slob?"</p> - -<p>The cop turned back to his partner. "A kidder, we've got here," he -said. He turned back to Marc. "Beat it, comedian, you and your girl -friend take off."</p> - -<p>"Aren't you going to chase me?" Marc asked. "I'm a lawbreaker."</p> - -<p>"Move along, chum," the cop drawled, "before I sell you a ticket to the -orphan's picnic."</p> - -<p>"But you've <i>got</i> to chase me," Marc said urgently.</p> - -<p>"No I don't, friend," the cop said. "I've got to sit here and listen -for radio leads on this goofy Pillsworth guy."</p> - -<p>"But that's me!" Marc said. "I'm Pillsworth!"</p> - -<p>The cop looked at him with forced patience. "Sure, sure," he said. "And -I'm Miss Atlantic City. Beat it." He turned back to his companion.</p> - -<p>"What if I told you I knew where a murder was going to happen?" Marc -ventured.</p> - -<p>The cop looked around. "You're just full of news, aren't you?" he said, -and turned away again.</p> - -<p>For a moment Marc sat in silent indecision. Then he turned to the -blonde.</p> - -<p>"Why don't you scream?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Why should I?" the woman asked interestedly. "Do you really know where -a murder's going to happen?"</p> - -<p>"You said screaming made you feel good," Marc suggested.</p> - -<p>"I feel fine," the woman said. "I always do with a lot of stuff going -on. Who's going to get murdered?"</p> - -<p>Marc glanced desperately from the woman to the cops and back again. A -determined look came into his eyes. He cautiously extended two fingers -to the woman's thigh. "I'm sorry," he said, and pinched as hard as he -could.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The results were everything to be wished for—and more. Stiffening in -her seat, the woman let out a bleat that surpassed even her previous -efforts. Even George might have envied the torment in her voice as it -soared, swooped, scaled the heights and dipped into soul-shattering -depths. At its completion, the blonde turned and took a clawing swipe -at Marc's face.</p> - -<p>Marc ducked. "That's the stuff!" he said happily, noting from the -corner of his eye that he had finally gained the undivided attention -of the police force. Pinching the blonde again and nodding his -satisfaction at the second chorus, he threw the coupe into gear, cut -across traffic and headed down the speedway. It was only a moment -before the wail of a siren mingled with the shrill vocalizations of -his companion. He pushed the gas feed to the floor.</p> - -<p>To the witnesses along the speedway, the pedestrians, the vendors, the -shop owners and just plain malingerers, the events of the evening were -never entirely clear. Some, judging simply by the volume of noise, -settled for the notion that what had passed was nothing more than an -overly exuberant wedding procession. The sticklers, however, rejected -this notion flatly, pointing to the significant details of the affair.</p> - -<p>Which, they demanded to know, was the wedding couple? Certainly it -couldn't have been the redhead and the wailing man in the green sedan; -certainly no bride—or at least very few—had ever used that kind -of language to her groom on the wedding night. And it took the most -wretched husband years to achieve the note of despair which this poor -fellow was loosing on the evening air.</p> - -<p>As for the black limousine, that was out. Though its occupants seemed -locked together in some sort of mad embrace, the arrangement appeared -to have its roots in terror rather than affection.</p> - -<p>The couple in the coupe that followed was even more difficult to wedge -into the picture of the young couple united. After all, wasn't she -screaming her lungs out and hammering on his head with both fists?</p> - -<p>As for the police who followed—and they probably knew the truth of the -matter—they looked shocked to the core. So there simply wasn't any -answer for it until the morning papers came out.</p> - -<p>The participants in the demented chase along the speedway, however, -were far too engrossed in their own problems to care for the conflict -they introduced into the lives of innocent bystanders. Toffee, for one, -could not have been less concerned; she was too mad at George.</p> - -<p>"Stop that caterwauling!" she yelled. "Stop it, you idiot."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>George pulled his disconnected head inside the window and eyed Toffee -owlishly. His other parts adjusted themselves and the head sank into -Toffee's lap. There, gazing up at her, it lazily crossed its eyes and -began to whimper piteously.</p> - -<p>"Ugh!" Toffee cried. "I'll go mad!"</p> - -<p>The head relaxed its face obligingly into an expression of -feeble-minded delight, letting its tongue loll loosely from the corner -of its mouth.</p> - -<p>"That's all!" Toffee screamed. "I'm getting out of here!"</p> - -<p>Without further consideration for the occupants of the limousine and -the approaching curve, she relinquished the wheel, threw the car door -open, and with one last agonized glance at the loathsome head, which -was now foaming prettily at the mouth, prepared to depart its company. -In the limousine this bit of action was not unobserved.</p> - -<p>"She's trying to get away!" the congressman yelled. "Stop her!"</p> - -<p>The thug turned to the window and looked. "Get back!" he hollered. "Get -back or I'll blast you!"</p> - -<p>"Go ahead," Toffee cried. "It'll be a positive pleasure next to what -I've just been through."</p> - -<p>"Okay!" the thug said grimly. "You asked for it!"</p> - -<p>His finger closed down on the trigger. It was just at that moment, -however, that the green sedan, no longer benefitted by a driver, -swerved toward the limousine, throwing Toffee back inside. The -congressman cramped the wheel of the limousine sharply to avoid a -crash. The gunman, thrown sharply against the door, fired wildly into -the night. From the rear there was the sound of screeching tires and -forced brakes.</p> - -<p>"Good night!" the congressman panted, righting the limousine as the -green sedan veered away again. "What did you hit?"</p> - -<p>"I think it was that coupe back there," the thug said, peering out the -window. "I must have hit a tire: it's out of control."</p> - -<p>"Good Lord!" the congressman yelled, "the curve's right ahead! We're -pinned in between them. We're going to crash. Everybody's going to -crash!"</p> - -<p>No sooner was this dire prediction out of the congressman's mouth than -it became a deafening reality. Ahead, the green sedan raced headlong -into the concrete embankment with a rending smash and almost literally -flattened itself into two dimensions.</p> - -<p>This was the signal for the two lesser crashes that followed. The -limousine engaged its radiator forcibly into the wreckage just in time -to receive a skidding broadside from the coupe.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A moment of silence followed, emphasized by the approaching scream of a -siren. The police car jolted to a stop and the two cops ran forward to -the scene of destruction. They reached the coupe first.</p> - -<p>"Here!" the first cop said. "What's going on?"</p> - -<p>The faded blonde jutted her head out of the window. "He blew out my -tire!" she rasped. "Not to mention all that pinching!"</p> - -<p>"Pinching?" the cop asked curiously. "What kind of pinching, lady? -Where?"</p> - -<p>"All kinds of pinching," the woman said evilly. "Everywhere."</p> - -<p>The cop peered at Marc. "Why's he dressed in that nightshirt?"</p> - -<p>"How should I know?" the woman said. "Maybe he thinks he's cute or -something."</p> - -<p>The cop leaned closer. "Here, you," he said, "why are you dressed like -that?"</p> - -<p>"I'm tired," Marc said exhaustedly, "and I want to go to bed. I had a -little drink about an hour ago...."</p> - -<p>"Stop that now," the cop barked. "No nonsense."</p> - -<p>"But it's all perfectly true," Marc said.</p> - -<p>The cop started to speak further, but he caught sight of the -congressman and his companion climbing out of the limousine and tore -himself away.</p> - -<p>"There are people dying in that car!" the congressman shouted -tragically, hurrying forward. "It's awful, officer!"</p> - -<p>"All maimed and cut up," the thug put in. "Loose heads and legs and -stuff all over the place."</p> - -<p>"Have you seen them?" the policeman asked.</p> - -<p>"Well, they must be," the congressman put in quickly. "How could it be -otherwise? The man in the car is Marc Pillsworth. I saw him just before -the crash."</p> - -<p>The policeman did a take. "Yeah?"</p> - -<p>"Sure," the thug said excitedly. "Only now he's all cut up—loose head -and arms and...!"</p> - -<p>"Shut up," the congressman snapped.</p> - -<p>"They might still be alive," the cop said. "We've got to do something -about it."</p> - -<p>"Indeed we do," the congressman said. "Perhaps we can assist them."</p> - -<p>"Come on," the cop said. "You can give a hand."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Dutifully the three turned to the sedan. They turned and then stopped -with a harmonized gasp, the cop taking the bass. In the moment of -their turning there had been a sudden movement in the car and the -door had swung partially open. In the opening there appeared a leg of -provocative shapeliness.</p> - -<p>"A leg!" the thug shuddered. "I told you!"</p> - -<p>"A dame's leg," the cop breathed. "And just think what the rest of her -must have been like with a leg like that! Just imagine...!" He sucked -in his breath as the leg began to show unexpected signs of life. It -quivered, turned and was quickly joined by a mate of equal perfection. -It was only a moment before Toffee appeared in total, quite unmarked. -Her mood, however, was hostile. Quitting the ruined car she turned back -to the door and thrust her head inside.</p> - -<p>"Of all the beastly, rotten, evil-minded, stinking things to do to a -girl!" she snapped. "Come out of there you slimy-souled son of Satan -and fight like a man. I'll teach you to make foul passes at a girl when -she is stuck under a clutch. I'll show you...!"</p> - -<p>"Good gosh!" the cop said. "Who's she talking to?"</p> - -<p>"She must be hysterical," the congressman said, thoroughly shaken. -"Probably got a crack on the head and isn't accountable for what she's -saying."</p> - -<p>"That's certainly no way to talk to the dead," the cop said.</p> - -<p>"It's no way to talk to the living," the thug said. "If she hauled off -at me like that I'd rather be dead."</p> - -<p>"The poor child's obviously insane," the congressman said firmly. -"There's no question about it."</p> - -<p>Meanwhile Toffee was still at it. "Come out of there, you hulking -lout," she grated, "before I come in there and drag you out by your -ears!"</p> - -<p>"Poor little thing," the cop said sadly. "She really believes Mr. -Pillsworth can come out of that car. She refuses to believe he's dead."</p> - -<p>By now Toffee had stepped forward and yanked the door all the way -open. As the three in the background stared in varying degrees of -apprehension, a thin figure in a brief linen gown crawled out on its -hands and knees. The congressman swayed slightly as though about to -faint.</p> - -<p>"You look more natural down on all fours, you beast," Toffee rasped. -"I ought to kick you right in the slats. Get up and try to face me if -you've the nerve!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Apparently the shock of the accident had given George's ectoplasm a -further jolt for now he was completely materialized. He looked up at -Toffee ruefully and got to his feet.</p> - -<p>"I was only trying to get you loose," he said.</p> - -<p>"The way you were pawing me was enough to get any girl loose," Toffee -said. "Just don't try it again."</p> - -<p>"Gawd a'mighty!" the thug whispered. "Pillsworth!"</p> - -<p>"Pillsworth?" the cop said. "But that's the same guy who was pinching -the other dame in the coupe. My gosh! how he gets around!"</p> - -<p>Just then the other policeman, who had retreated to the background, -arrived on the scene with Marc and the blonde in custody.</p> - -<p>"Hey," he said, "I caught this creep on the creep. He was trying to -sneak out."</p> - -<p>The cop looked quickly at Marc, then back to George. "It's the same -guy!" he said. "Which one of you birds is Pillsworth?"</p> - -<p>Marc and George went smoothly into their routine of pointing to each -other in unison.</p> - -<p>"He is!" they said.</p> - -<p>The cop turned to Toffee. "Do you know which is which?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Sure," Toffee said and nodded at George. "He's Pillsworth."</p> - -<p>"She's crazy," George retorted hotly. "She's as crazy as bedbugs in a -bathtub."</p> - -<p>"That's right," the thug put in. "She's a looney if there ever was one."</p> - -<p>Marc moved urgently to gain the cop's attention. "You've got to arrest -that man," he said, pointing at the congressman. "He's a subversive and -a murderer."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman whirled about. "You must be insane, sir!" he rasped in -frantic denial.</p> - -<p>"<i>You</i> must be," Marc said. "You must have been ripe for the hatch -years ago."</p> - -<p>"You're a fine one to talk," the blonde put in nastily. "Officer, this -man is off his rocker like a busted hobby horse. He's done nothing but -pinch me ever since we met."</p> - -<p>Toffee levelled her gaze at Marc. "What were you doing pinching that -tomato?" she demanded. "Just what were you getting at?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, don't be crazy," Marc said distractedly.</p> - -<p>"Oh, so I'm crazy, am I?" Toffee said, doubling her fists.</p> - -<p>"You sure are, sister," the thug put in. "You're the most hopped up -dame I ever saw." He turned to the cop. "She ought to be locked up."</p> - -<p>"Oh, yeah?" Toffee said. "At least I didn't put anyone in a busted car -and send them off to get killed. Officer, I want you to arrest that -killer."</p> - -<p>"Look, officer," Marc insisted, "you've got to take this man into -custody. He's a menace to the whole country."</p> - -<p>"If you take anyone in, officer," the blonde put in harshly, "make it -this skinny bimbo. Pinch him like he pinched me."</p> - -<p>The congressman moved in aggressively toward Marc. "You're making -slanderous accusations!" he blustered. "You should be committed to an -institution!"</p> - -<p>"You're crazy!" Marc raged.</p> - -<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" the blonde screeched.</p> - -<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" Toffee hollered at the blonde.</p> - -<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" the thug insisted moodily.</p> - -<p>The cop turned dizzily to his companion and held out a palsied hand. -"Hurry!" he pleaded, "call the wagon, and let's take the whole bunch of -them in. In another minute <i>I'm</i> going to be crazy!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The morning sun poured through the high windows of the courtroom, -wasting its brightness on a scene of sullen dementia. Judge Carper's -heavy face had achieved a shade of dyspeptic vermillion in record time -this morning. Even the flies clung to the walls in muted terror as his -gavel banged on the substantial wood of the bench and set the room -atremble.</p> - -<p>"Silence!" the judge roared. "Silence, damnit! And if one more -defendant makes just one more crack about the sanity of any other -defendant I'll lock the whole crew of you up and melt the key down for -a watch fob." He ran his shaking hand over his forehead. "Besides, so -far I don't even know which ones of you are the defendants and which -are the complainants." He turned to the policeman. "Do you know?"</p> - -<p>"I'm not sure," the cop admitted uneasily. "I think they're all both."</p> - -<p>"Both what?" the judge asked confusedly.</p> - -<p>"Both defendants and complainants. As far as I can tell everybody's mad -as hell at everybody else. It sort of goes around in a circle."</p> - -<p>"And I'm burned up at the lot of them," the judge said malignantly. -"Who are those two over there without any clothes on?"</p> - -<p>"I think they lost their clothes in the crash," the cop said vaguely. -"The guy is really two guys, so it's hard to tell."</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"There are really two guys like that," the cop said. "Dressed alike."</p> - -<p>The judge peered across at Marc with deep speculation. "I only see one -of him," he said dryly.</p> - -<p>"The other one disappeared," the cop said, casting down his eyes. -"He—well, sort of evaporated."</p> - -<p>"Evaporated? What are you talking about?"</p> - -<p>"It's a fact, your honor. It happened on the way in. The only way I can -explain it is that one minute he was there and the next he just sort of -melted away."</p> - -<p>"Rooney," the judge said, "have you lost your wits?"</p> - -<p>"It wouldn't surprise me, judge," the cop sighed. "Everyone else has. -Why not me?"</p> - -<p>"There's only one man there, Rooney," the judge said harshly. "And -judging by those skinny legs of his, maybe not even that."</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir."</p> - -<p>"Are you bucking for another vacation, Rooney, is that it?"</p> - -<p>"Well, your honor, I do feel tired. It seemed to come over me all of a -sudden, after I ran into all those people."</p> - -<p>"All right, we'll see what can be done. In the meantime let's have -no more of this falderol about one man being two, only one of them -evaporated."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Yes, your honor," Rooney said, greatly saddened. "There's only one -man. I guess I was mistaken."</p> - -<p>"Or drunk," the judge murmured sourly and turned his gaze to the -assortment before him. "Now what happened with this gang?"</p> - -<p>"They were all in a wreck that involved three cars. The young lady in -the underskirt was driving the first one. She claims that the dark man -with the scar tried to murder her by forcing her to drive a car with a -broken steering gear."</p> - -<p>"What does he say?"</p> - -<p>"He says the young lady is mentally unstable and of low character. It -seems that he and the congressman observed her in the car for some time -before the crash. They say that her behavior was most erratic, that she -wailed and shrieked and at one point tried to abandon the car in full -motion."</p> - -<p>"How else can you abandon a car?" the judge said sharply. "You have to -be in full motion."</p> - -<p>"I mean the car was in full motion."</p> - -<p>"I see. Where was this gentleman and the congressman while they were -doing all this observing?"</p> - -<p>"They were in the second car. The congressman was driving. The dark man -is his body-guard. He was cleaning his gun at the time and that's how -he happened to shoot the third car, although the young lady insists he -was trying to shoot her."</p> - -<p>"I think I've lost the thread," the judge said foggily. "Who was in the -third car?"</p> - -<p>"The man with the skinny legs who says he isn't Pillsworth, and a -blonde woman."</p> - -<p>"He says he isn't Pillsworth and a blonde woman?" the judge asked, his -eyes loosening in their sockets. "Why should he say a thing like that?"</p> - -<p>"No, no," the cop said earnestly, "he just says he isn't Pillsworth."</p> - -<p>"Then he admits to being a blonde woman?" the judge gasped. "He must be -mad!"</p> - -<p>"No," the cop said, "he doesn't admit anything about being a blonde -woman."</p> - -<p>"Then he denies being a blonde woman," the judge said with relief. "I -wish you'd give me this story straight. Who accused him of being a -blonde woman in the first place?"</p> - -<p>"No one," the cop said, almost tearfully. "He was only accused of being -Pillsworth."</p> - -<p>"Pillsworth? You mean the fellow the hospital's looking for? Who said -he was Pillsworth?"</p> - -<p>A look of doom came into the cop's eyes. "The—the other one, your -honor," he said.</p> - -<p>"The other what?" the judge glowered. "Stop being evasive and answer my -questions."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Rooney swallowed fatefully. "The other Pillsworth," he answered. "He -accused Pillsworth of being Pillsworth—that is unless he's Pillsworth -himself. Only he melted away so I guess we'll never really know. The -blonde woman insists she can't identify him."</p> - -<p>There was a dreadful silence as the judge tapped the palm of his hand -with the gavel. He lifted his gaze to the ceiling then levelled it -slowly on Rooney.</p> - -<p>"So we're back to the blonde woman again, are we?"</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid so," Rooney admitted weakly. "That's her over there, -looking mad."</p> - -<p>"I had hoped we were through with the blonde woman," the judge said -acidly. "I thought we'd washed the blonde woman up."</p> - -<p>"No, your honor, I'm afraid not."</p> - -<p>"This isn't the same blonde woman that Pillsworth denies being, is it?"</p> - -<p>"No, sir."</p> - -<p>"Does she deny that she's Pillsworth, is that it?"</p> - -<p>"No, sir," Rooney sighed hopelessly. "She's just a blonde woman. She -refuses to give her name because her husband's a butcher."</p> - -<p>"Is she a defendant or a complainant?"</p> - -<p>"A complainant," the cop said. "She said that Pillsworth stole her car -and pinched her. That is if he's Pillsworth, and he denies it."</p> - -<p>"Don't you mean he pinched her car?"</p> - -<p>"No, sir. He stole her car, but he pinched her—on the thigh."</p> - -<p>"My word!" the judge said.</p> - -<p>The cop nodded. "She wants to sue someone, only since there were two -of them she doesn't know which one did the pinching. She can't be sure -whether it was this Pillsworth or the other one—if you follow my -meaning."</p> - -<p>The judge paled. "Are you being deliberately cryptic, Rooney, or is it -simply that you can't see your way clear to be clear, if I make myself -clear."</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid I don't follow you, your honor."</p> - -<p>"Just a taste of your own medicine, Rooney," the judge said vengefully. -"How do you like it?" He turned his gaze moodily on the blonde. "About -this blonde...?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, your honor?"</p> - -<p>"She gets everything all snarled up. Every time she enters the picture -it ceases to make sense. Do you suppose this would all clear up if I -just had her thrown out of court?"</p> - -<p>"I don't think so. With or without her, things are snarled up just the -same. I've never seen so much snarling in all my life; these people -just don't seem to like each other."</p> - -<p>"What about this fellow who denies he's Pillsworth?" the judge asked. -"Is he the only pure defendant in the bunch?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no, your honor. He's the biggest complainant of the lot. And he's -far from pure. He's accusing the congressman of being the head of a -gang of subversives who are planning to kill the entire population with -bacteria."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The judge leaned across the bench, plainly scandalized. "The -congressman!" he gasped. "Why Congressman Entwerp was a classmate of -mine!"</p> - -<p>"Yes, your honor. And he's threatened suit against this fellow for -slander."</p> - -<p>"Good," the judge said. "Have this Pillsworth or whoever he is brought -before the bench. Obviously, he's a low criminal type. It sticks out -all over him."</p> - -<p>The cop nodded and turned in Marc's direction. "You," he said. "The -judge will hear you."</p> - -<p>Across the room, however, Marc gave no sign of hearing. Instead, he was -gazing intently at the vacant chair next to his own. On his face was an -expression of anxious annoyance.</p> - -<p>"Now, look, George," he said, "You owe it to humanity to show yourself -and help get this mess cleared up. Why not be a good loser for a -change?"</p> - -<p>The empty chair shifted, just perceptibly, with an air of complacency.</p> - -<p>"Maybe they'll hang you," George replied hopefully from thin air.</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly," Marc said. "There's no reason why they should. Come -on, now, be a good fellow and help get this over with."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I'm going to help get it over with," George said pleasantly. "When -I'm through, they'll lower the boom on you so hard you'll be the first -man in history to be buried in an envelope."</p> - -<p>Just then Toffee leaned forward and touched Marc's arm. "The judge -wants to speak to you," she said. "Come on, let's go."</p> - -<p>Marc glanced around. "Did he call you too?"</p> - -<p>"Well, no," Toffee admitted, "but I'm an interested party. I want to -see that you get fair treatment."</p> - -<p>"Couldn't you just stay out of it?" Marc pleaded. "Couldn't I just -handle this myself?"</p> - -<p>"Nonsense," Toffee said. "You need me. Come on, the old gaffer's -beginning to look apoplectic again."</p> - -<p>"Oh, all right," Marc sighed. Getting up he followed Toffee to a -position before the bench. The judge glowered down at them critically.</p> - -<p>"So glad you finally found you could come," he said.</p> - -<p>"Thank you," Toffee beamed. "It's nice of you to have us."</p> - -<p>The gavel barked irritably. There was silence until the judge's -eyebrows ceased to twitch.</p> - -<p>"What are you doing here?" the judge enquired with forced composure. -"Who called you forward?"</p> - -<p>"Lots of people have called me forward," Toffee said, "but that's just -talk, judge. I'm just impulsive."</p> - -<p>"Silence!" the judge said. "Good God, girl, no one asked you for any -sordid confessions. I just want to know what you're doing here?"</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded toward Marc. "I'm with him," she said.</p> - -<p>"Then he's the man who was with you in the green sedan?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no." Toffee shook her head. "He's the other one."</p> - -<p>The judge blanched. "The other one?" he asked apprehensively.</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded. "They're exactly alike. Only this one is nicer. That's -why I switched."</p> - -<p>The judge raised his gavel warningly, and turned to Marc. "Are you -twins, sir?"</p> - -<p>Marc opened his mouth to speak, but before he could George's voice -sounded immediately behind him.</p> - -<p>"Do I look like twins, you thick-headed joker?" the voice asked. "And -if you must drink in the morning, for Godsake lay off the cheap stuff -so you don't see double. I always heard justice was blind but I didn't -know it was blind drunk."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was an ominous silence in the court as the judge raked Marc with -a glance of pure loathing. "Are you deliberately in contempt of court?" -he asked.</p> - -<p>Again Marc started to speak and again the voice beat him to it. "In -it?" it said. "I'm fairly swimming in high octane contempt."</p> - -<p>The blonde who had been watching these proceedings with growing -agitation suddenly sprang from her chair. "That's him!" she yelled -hysterically. "I'm positive!"</p> - -<p>"Be quiet, you!" the judge barked. "I've had enough out of you!"</p> - -<p>"But he pinched me!" the blonde cried.</p> - -<p>"You're lucky that's all he did," the judge snapped.</p> - -<p>"But you don't know where!"</p> - -<p>The judge eyed her distantly. "With that lumpy figure of yours," he -said, "it could scarcely matter. Now, shut up." He turned back to Marc. -"I understand you've been making libelous remarks against Congressman -Entwerp."</p> - -<p>Marc looked around hopelessly, afraid to open his mouth lest George -would take over again. He compressed his lips into a thin line.</p> - -<p>"Speak up, man!"</p> - -<p>Marc looked up unhappily. "I—I—," he murmured fearfully.</p> - -<p>"What's the matter with you?" the judge asked. "Let's hear your -accusations against my good friend the congressman."</p> - -<p>"The congressman?" Marc ventured, then brightened as he noticed there -was no interference from George. "Oh, yes. The congressman must be -imprisoned at once, your honor. He's a national menace. He instigated a -propaganda program to dope the public against the threat of the foreign -powers. But worst of all, he has enough bacteria culture to murder the -entire population."</p> - -<p>"And what's more," Toffee broke in, "he pinched my gadget."</p> - -<p>The judge's eyes swiveled about hauntedly. "He <i>what</i>?"</p> - -<p>"Pinched my gadget," Toffee insisted. "The one with the button."</p> - -<p>"Now just a minute," the judge said a little wildly. "Wasn't it the -blonde woman who had her gadget pinched?"</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly," Toffee said. "She hasn't a gadget to be pinched."</p> - -<p>"She hasn't?" the judge said in a startled whisper. "What happened to -her gadget?"</p> - -<p>"I guess she just didn't have one in the first place," Toffee said. -"You can't just go out and buy them, you know."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The judge turned to the cop. "Do you know anything about why this -blonde woman doesn't have a gadget?" he asked interestedly.</p> - -<p>"Search me," the cop said. "I didn't know she didn't. Maybe it's -because her husband's a butcher. Maybe...."</p> - -<p>"Don't," the judge cried, shuddering. "Don't go on! I don't even want -to think about it."</p> - -<p>"Well, who cares about her gadget anyway?" Toffee asked bewilderedly. -"It's <i>my</i> gadget I'm trying to tell you about."</p> - -<p>"And I don't want to hear about it," the judge said shortly. "This -court is no place for examination room discussions."</p> - -<p>"Or much of anything else," Toffee retorted angrily. "Especially -justice."</p> - -<p>"Look, judge," Marc put in desperately. "You've got to listen to me. -About all this bacteria...."</p> - -<p>"Bacteria?" the judge said, startled. "What about bacteria?"</p> - -<p>"It's a threat," Marc said. "It's got to be stopped."</p> - -<p>The judge nodded. "My dentist said the same thing the other day. Are -you a dentist?"</p> - -<p>"Of course I'm not a dentist," Marc said. "It's the congressman."</p> - -<p>"That's preposterous," the judge said. "The congressman isn't a -dentist, never has been. You're just trying to rattle me."</p> - -<p>Again, as Marc started to speak, the voice from behind took over. -"That's rich, that is," it slurred. "You were rattled the day you were -born, you old tosspot, and you've been getting balmier ever since. If -you have the brain of a gnat...."</p> - -<p>The gavel smashed down on the bench like the crack of doom.</p> - -<p>"Go!" the judge said. "Go and leave me alone! You're all trying to -drive me out of my mind."</p> - -<p>"With a mind like yours," Toffee said, "it would be a fast drive on a -kiddy car."</p> - -<p>"Go!" the judge screamed. "Go away!"</p> - -<p>Defeated by sheer volume, Marc and Toffee retreated back to their -chairs and sat down. The one next to Marc's scraped back a trifle of -its own volition.</p> - -<p>"You fiend!" Marc hissed at the empty chair. "That was a fine mess, -wasn't it?"</p> - -<p>"Glad you admire my work," George said complacently out of thin air. -"Isn't it remarkable how exactly alike our voices sound?"</p> - -<p>"Go to hell," Marc said sullenly.</p> - -<p>"If I do I'll probably meet you there," George said. "The old boy has -you marked down for a sanity test. I heard him say so as you left up -there. Somehow, it warms me to think of you locked up with a bunch of -homicidal maniacs. Who's to say what might happen to you?"</p> - -<p>The gavel rapped on the bench again, this time more calmly.</p> - -<p>"I'd like to speak to the congressman," the judge announced. "Not that -I put any stock in the ridiculous accusations of that black-hearted -nit-wit, but I would like to talk to someone rational for a change."</p> - -<p>Across the room, the congressman rose from his chair with portly -composure.</p> - -<p>"I'm happy for the opportunity to defend myself against the ravings of -this lunatic," he said smoothly, "though I'm certain the court hasn't -taken them the least bit seriously."</p> - -<p>"Of course not, congressman," the judge said grandly. "This court is -always fair and impartial. Step up and have a chair. I'm sorry I can't -offer you a drink during session, but perhaps we could have lunch -together somewhere?"</p> - -<p>"Good grief!" Toffee whispered. "They're carrying on like old -sweet-hearts."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman smiled pityingly at Marc. "Actually, I have the -greatest compassion for our poor friend here," he said magnanimously. -"Who knows what dreadful experience drove him out of his senses?"</p> - -<p>"Why the old foghorn!" Marc hissed between clenched teeth. "He's got -enough gall to float a fleet."</p> - -<p>"As for his fantastic charges," the congressman continued, "they're -almost too silly to refute." He beamed on the judge. "I think you know -just about how subversive I am, your honor."</p> - -<p>The judge smiled broadly. "Call me Ralph," he said.</p> - -<p>"Okay, Ralph," the congressman smiled. "And about that bacteria -business; the only bacteria culture I have is home in the refrigerator. -I just happened to let some cheese go mouldy."</p> - -<p>The judge laughed immoderately. "Oh, Congressman!" he gasped, wiping -his eyes. "You always were a wit!"</p> - -<p>Toffee frowned her disapproval. "This is worse than television," she -said.</p> - -<p>"What am I going to do?" Marc said. "I can't let him get away with it. -I'll wind up in an asylum while he sells the whole country down the -river."</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded morosely. "We've got to think of something," she said. -"If they won't listen to sense, I guess the only thing to do is resort -to madness."</p> - -<p>"How do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"Trade seats with me," Toffee said. "I want to talk to George."</p> - -<p>"It won't do any good. He won't listen to sense any more than the rest -of them."</p> - -<p>"That's all right," Toffee said. "What I have in mind is more -nonsense—and a little hypnotism."</p> - -<p>"Hypnotism?"</p> - -<p>"Uh-huh. I told you I've been studying. Come on, trade."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As unobtrusively as possible they changed seats. Toffee settled -herself, crossed her legs with care, and turned to the vacant seat at -her side. When she spoke her voice was husky and confidential.</p> - -<p>"Look, George," she said, "I've been thinking...."</p> - -<p>The chair quivered interestedly. "Yes?" George's voice said out of -emptiness. "What about?"</p> - -<p>"You and me," Toffee said. "I've just been going over things in my -mind, and you know, George, I've really been sort of foolish."</p> - -<p>"How do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"Well take the way I always favor Marc against you. Suddenly it just -occurred to me that there's no logical reason for it. After all you're -just alike—except for a few little differences, of course."</p> - -<p>"Oh?" George said, a note of interest creeping into his voice. "What -differences?"</p> - -<p>"Well, for instance, you're more aggressive, George. You have a more -active, dynamic personality. You're the sort who knows what he wants -and goes out after it."</p> - -<p>"I suppose you could say that," George admitted. "What else?"</p> - -<p>"You're cleverer, too. Look at the way you've got Marc bottled up right -now, for example. He's a dead duck. In fact, to tell you the truth, -George, you make Marc look pretty sick. I'm beginning to think a girl -would be much better off with you."</p> - -<p>George cleared his throat. "You're sure you mean it?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Of course I do," Toffee said. "Why wouldn't I, George? It's not just -that you're cleverer and more dominant than Marc, there are other -little things too, things only a woman would notice. Your eyes, for -instance."</p> - -<p>"My eyes?"</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded. "Uh-huh. Your eyes are ever so much more exciting than -Marc's. I don't know what it is, but there's a subtle difference. I -guess it's personality. I've always noticed it."</p> - -<p>"Oh, my eyes aren't all that good," George demurred. "Pleasant and -friendly, perhaps, but...."</p> - -<p>"Oh, much more than that," Toffee insisted. "Flashing and roguish."</p> - -<p>"You really think so?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly. That and more." Toffee paused for a moment, appeared -hesitant. "George...?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Toffee?"</p> - -<p>"Would you show me your eyes? Just materialize them for a moment so I -can gaze into them?"</p> - -<p>"Do you really like them that much?"</p> - -<p>"Please, George...."</p> - -<p>"Well ... all right."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>And so it was that the congressman, long distracted by a view of Toffee -fawning on a vacant chair, suddenly found himself staring across the -room at two disembodied eyes which lolled in mid-air, swiveling and -rolling about in a delirious attempt to be flashing and roguish. He -coughed in a strangled way and glanced around at the judge.</p> - -<p>The judge, had the congressman been astute enough to notice, had -suddenly gone white about the gills and showed a shifty disinclination -to meet his gaze. The truth of the matter was that the judge, similarly -baffled by Toffee's seductive attitude toward the chair, had also been -subjected to the nasty sight of George's grotesque eye exercises. He, -like the congressman, had experienced a feeling of giddiness at the -nape of the neck and decided against mentioning the incident. After -gazing upon a pair of air-borne eyes which have just crossed themselves -in their zeal to convey the charm of the rake, one is generally loath -to bring the subject up with anyone save the local psychiatrist. -However, had either gentleman had the least inkling of the mad delights -yet to come, they might have well bolted the room, shouting the news to -the world.</p> - -<p>The fact was that Toffee, in her endeavor to hypnotize George, was -meeting with extraordinary success. Having gazed into George's eyes -with his full cooperation it was only the matter of a moment before -the hapless shade was completely mesmerized. The eyes, under Toffee's -steady gaze, grew heavy, drooped, closed altogether, then reopened with -a slightly dazed appearance. It was not a pleasant sight, but Toffee -appeared to find satisfaction in it.</p> - -<p>Not so, however, the judge and the congressman. Watching these -developments with sidelong anxiety, they were sore put to it to -continue with the business at hand.</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes," the judge said vaguely, "you were telling me about this -blackguard who's been saying all these filthy things about you...?"</p> - -<p>"Eh?" the congressman said, starting. "<i>Oh!</i> Oh, yes. This fellow, the -blackguard. I was saying that if he was half a man...!"</p> - -<p>The congressman got no further for it was precisely in this moment -that Toffee commanded George to materialize. There must have been, -however, a lack of authority in her tone, for the results fell short of -perfection. In fact, they fell short by exactly fifty percent. George, -starting at the top of his head, blossomed rapidly into being down to -the waist and there, quite devoid of his lower quarters, stopped. In -effect, no sooner did the congressman speak of half a man than the -order was filled to exact specifications. The congressman not only -stopped speaking, but stopped breathing as well.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A nervous hush fell over the courtroom, for by now several others had -begun to notice the half-portion George and were just as reticent to -mention the matter as either the congressman or the judge. The judge -clutched grimly to the bench for support and forced himself to look -away. He laughed a dry, cackling laugh.</p> - -<p>"Well, well," he said with feeble heartiness, "we mustn't fall into a -reverie, must we? You haven't half—I mean you haven't really begun to -tell me about these slurs against you, congressman."</p> - -<p>There was something markedly distraught in the congressman's expression -as he turned back to the bench. He fiddled with his tie, reached into -his pocket, took something out and began to finger it nervously. It was -Toffee's gadget.</p> - -<p>"Well," he babbled. "I was only saying that anyone with half—I mean -any mind at all would be able to see ... uh ... see...."</p> - -<p>As he spoke, the congressman turned the gadget absently in his hand. It -was on the fifth turn, when it was pointing directly at the judge, that -his finger inadvertently snagged against the button and shoved it to -one side. Instantly, as though the judge had never been there at all, -the bench was starkly and dramatically deserted, with only the gavel -left to mark its recent occupancy. The congressman gaped unbelievingly, -shook his head, closed his eyes, then opened them again. The judge was -still absent.</p> - -<p>The congressman turned to the others and found himself and the bench -the focal points for a sea of shocked eyes. He shuddered, pressed the -gadget self-consciously in a fit of nerves. The button snapped in the -opposite direction. In the next instant there was a shrill scream from -the faded blonde.</p> - -<p>Those in court turned in unison to find that the judge, just as -suddenly as he had departed, had reappeared. This time, however, he -was comfortably ensconced in the lap of the distraught blonde. In a -courtroom where many odd things had recently taken place, it was the -general concensus that when the judge of that court sneaks from the -bench, creeps up on the nearest blonde and hurls himself into her lap, -some sort of climax has been reached. A murmur of indignation rose -through the room.</p> - -<p>The blonde, for her part, agreed with the concensus, but did not stop -at an indignant protest. Doubling up her fist she belted the judge a -nasty blow in the eye.</p> - -<p>"You mangey old goat!" she shrieked.</p> - -<p>The congressman, by now in a veritable frenzy of nervousness, pressed -the button again. This time it was Toffee who disappeared. The murmur -in the court became still more disturbed. The congressman twiddled the -button in the opposite direction.</p> - -<p>Miraculously, Toffee appeared behind the bench in the judge's position. -She picked up the gavel and banged for attention.</p> - -<p>"The court will come to order!" she shrilled happily. "Knock it off, -everybody!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A new kind of hush fell over the room. The congressman, slack-mouthed, -looked up at Toffee with the fearful look of a man who has finally -been backed to the wall on the question of his own sanity. The judge, -nursing a blow on the left ear as another was being addressed to the -right, looked up in horror.</p> - -<p>"Here!" he yelled. "Get off that bench!"</p> - -<p>"Get off that blonde!" Toffee shot back. "You ought to be ashamed of -yourself." She whirled about on the trembling congressman. "As for you, -you big fat traitor, I want a clean confession and no nonsense."</p> - -<p>"I don't have to talk to you," the congressman said uncertainly. "You -can't make me say anything."</p> - -<p>"Maybe not," Toffee said, "but what about your conscience?"</p> - -<p>"Conscience?" the congressman said uncertainly.</p> - -<p>"The term is unfamiliar to you?" Toffee said. "I'm not surprised. Let -me try to explain it to you. A guilty conscience can play awful tricks -on people." She eyed the congressman closely. "It can even make you -think you're seeing things, for instance."</p> - -<p>The congressman's eyes widened with an awful fear. "See—see things?" -he quavered. "What kind of things do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"Well," Toffee said reflectively, "say a man is responsible for another -man's murder. If his conscience gets ahold of him he may begin to see -that man as still alive. He may even see two such men, just alike. In -really bad cases the subject is likely to imagine one of the men in a -state of mutilation, say cut in half. Of course, that's pretty extreme."</p> - -<p>The congressman glanced compulsively in George's direction and turned -ashen. George, still at half mast, stared back at him with fixed -blankness. The congressman groaned.</p> - -<p>"Then there's the very worst sort of conscience," Toffee went on. -"That's when everything gets mixed up. Through a close study of -recorded cases, we find that the first attack commonly occurs when the -criminal is confronted with his crimes, usually publicly, as in a -court of law."</p> - -<p>"H—how do you mean?" the congressman whispered. "Whu—what happens?"</p> - -<p>"Well, everything begins to appear to be just the opposite of what it -really is. There is a famous English case in which the victim was so -far gone that he actually believed that the magistrate on the bench -had become a beautiful girl. He described the illusion, I believe, as -a gorgeous redhead with an exquisite figure and legs too perfect to be -true." Toffee laughed gaily. "Can you imagine anyone getting themselves -looped up to that extent?"</p> - -<p>The congressman forced a laugh that had all the light-hearted -spontaneity of a coffin lid being pried up at midnight. "That boy was -really gone, wasn't he—your honor?"</p> - -<p>"Call me Ralph, old man," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"Of course, Ralph, old boy," the congressman said, blinking.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Experimatically, Toffee opened a drawer under the bench and withdrew a -large black cigar. Inserting this into her month, she leaned forward -toward the congressman. "Gotta light, friend?" she enquired.</p> - -<p>The congressman started back sharply at this new incongruity. It was a -moment before he recovered.</p> - -<p>"Sure," he said, taking out a lighter and waggling it beneath the -cigar. "Sure thing."</p> - -<p>Taking a healthy puff on the cigar, Toffee leaned back luxuriously and -blew out a cloud of smoke. "What say we adjourn?" she suggested. "We -can slip around to the club and cut up a few touches with the boys."</p> - -<p>"Well, all right," the congressman said, attempting a wan smile. -"But...."</p> - -<p>Toffee took the cigar from her mouth and leaned forward. "Yes, old man?"</p> - -<p>"About these cases," the congressman said. "That fellow in England...."</p> - -<p>"Oh, the one who thought the magistrate was a beautiful girl? It's -hard to believe, of course, but you must remember it was an extreme -case. The most severe ever recorded, I believe. The funeral was only a -formality, of course, since there wasn't even a scrap of him recovered. -Exploded, you know."</p> - -<p>"Exploded!"</p> - -<p>"That's right. The only thing of its kind in medical history. Poor -devil went right off. With a great whopping roar, they said. The -doctors said it was caused by repressed emotion."</p> - -<p>"Oh, Mona!" the congressman groaned.</p> - -<p>"Didn't mean to upset you, old friend," Toffee said. "It's an -unpleasant thing to talk about."</p> - -<p>"But couldn't they have saved him?" the congressman asked. "Suppose -they had gotten him to a psychiatrist or something before it happened?"</p> - -<p>"Actually it was much simpler than that," Toffee said ponderously. -"The fellow could have saved himself merely by confessing. Confession, -you know, is the only thing for a bad conscience. Highly recommended -by all the best authorities. Those church people are doing it all the -time—can't stop church people from confessing—and you never heard of -one of them exploding, did you?"</p> - -<p>"That's right," the congressman said hopefully. His gaze travelled out -the window, a clouded look of inner turmoil on his face.</p> - -<p>"It was just one of those things," Toffee put in. "One minute this -chap was standing there in court just as hail and hearty as beans and -the next—boom!—and the spectators were whisking him off their coat -sleeves and passing round the cleaning fluid!"</p> - -<p>The congressman whirled about in a convulsion of anguish. "I confess!" -he blurted. "I confess <i>everything</i>!"</p> - -<p>"Not everything," Toffee said. "Leave the racy personal stuff for -another time."</p> - -<p>The congressman reached out the gadget and dropped it on the bench. -Toffee picked it up as he followed that contribution with a key.</p> - -<p>"There's the key to the storeroom," the congressman said, "and the -one to the private files. And here's a list of the members of the -organization." He started as Rooney stepped forward and took him by the -arm.</p> - -<p>"Take him away," Toffee said blithely. "Find him a cell with lots of -padding. And take his body-guard too."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As the congressman and the thug disappeared in the custody of Rooney, -Toffee mashed out her cigar, quitted the bench and proceeded across the -court where the blonde was still throttling the judge.</p> - -<p>"Better let him up, honey," she advised gently. "He's turning a very -nasty blue."</p> - -<p>The blonde stopped to consider the judge's complexion and let him drop -to the floor.</p> - -<p>"Loathsome old bore!" she hissed as he sat up and rubbed his neck, then -got to his feet and tottered off toward the bench. "That'll teach you -next time."</p> - -<p>Toffee moved on to Marc. "Well, don't just sit there," she said, "Let's -get at it."</p> - -<p>Marc looked up apprehensively. "At what?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Everything." Toffee said spaciously. "On the town."</p> - -<p>"Haven't you had enough excitement?" Marc asked wearily.</p> - -<p>"Not of the right sort," Toffee said. "What I crave is soft lights and -wine and all that sort of elegant truck. Come on."</p> - -<p>"What about George?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes," Toffee reflected, "there is George, isn't there?" She -regarded the transfixed half-spirit thoughtfully. "It would serve him -right if we just left him here, cut off at the pockets. Still I don't -suppose it's the thing to do...." A look of inspiration came to her -face. "I know."</p> - -<p>Taking her gadget from beneath her arm, she levelled it at George and -pressed the button. Instantly George disappeared entirely. Toffee -replaced the instrument and turned to Marc.</p> - -<p>"There," she said brightly. "George in the handy pocket size, where he -can't do any harm. Now we're all set for a life of gin and sin, and no -interruptions."</p> - -<p>"Now, wait a minute!" Marc said. "We're not set for anything, much less -a life of gin and sin as you so pungently put it. Do I have to remind -you that I have a wife to think of?"</p> - -<p>"I don't care if you have a whole regiment of wives to think of," -Toffee said testily. "I've protected and preserved you and, by gum, -you're mine. At least right now. Your wife can just take her chances on -what's left."</p> - -<p>"If you continue with this scandalous talk," Marc said, shocked into -primness, "I'm going to be forced to get up and walk right out of here."</p> - -<p>"You take one step without me," Toffee warned, "and I'll break both -your legs."</p> - -<p>"Oh, well...." Marc sighed.</p> - -<p>"That's better," Toffee nodded. "Of course I'll need some clothes, -something terribly expensive and revealing...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>She broke off as the doors of the courtroom burst open and Julie, -followed by the three doctors from the hospital, charged down the aisle.</p> - -<p>"My God!" Marc cried. "Julie!" He swung around to Toffee. "Go away! -Vanish!"</p> - -<p>"I'm darned if I will," Toffee said. "I've stuck by you through all the -thin and now I want some of the thick of it."</p> - -<p>"Don't worry," Marc said miserably. "Just wait till Julie sees us; -things will get thick in a hurry."</p> - -<p>Even as Marc spoke the atmosphere began to congeal swiftly. Julie, -having caught sight of the curious tableau formed by Marc and the -scantily clad Toffee, jarred to a stop, digging her heels into the -floor. A sharp, enraged sound came from her lips.</p> - -<p>Julie, after her experience of the night before had recovered her -physical faculties, but her emotional condition was still skittish. -A wife, summoned to identify her dying husband, rather sets her mind -on a scene of tearful sighs and murmured remembrances, with perhaps -a touch of violin music in the background. When she finds her waning -spouse looking perfectly alive and perky and in close proximity to a -dangerous looking redhead, her bubble has a tendency to burst with a -considerable bang.</p> - -<p>"<i>Marc Pillsworth!</i>" Julie screamed. "Who is that woman!" And raising -her handbag aloft she proceeded forward with mayhem unmistakably number -one on her agenda.</p> - -<p>Groaning, Marc rose from his chair. "She's going to kill me!"</p> - -<p>Meanwhile, the doctors had also caught sight of Marc.</p> - -<p>"There he is!" the first doctor said. "We'd better close in on him -fast."</p> - -<p>"It's amazing," the second doctor mused. "The man must be living -sheerly on the energy of hysteria. He should have been dead hours ago." -He turned to the third doctor. "Do you have the chloroform ready?"</p> - -<p>The doctor nodded and exhibited a can and a large sponge. "Wait till -the Medical Association hears about this," he said excitedly. "They'll -never believe it!"</p> - -<p>Thus armed, the men in white pressed forward close in the wake of Julie.</p> - -<p>Marc retreated in confusion toward the bench. "They're all after me!" -he cried. "I can't stand much more of this. If just one more character -tries to kill me...!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The doors of the court swung open and a tall, grim-lipped man barged -into the room and down the aisle. He was carrying a large meat axe. -Across the room the blonde leaped joyously from her chair.</p> - -<p>"Darling!" she yelled and ran to meet him. They came together in a -tight clinch just inside the gate. "How did you find me, honey?"</p> - -<p>"Bureau of Missing Persons," the man said cryptically. "Where is he?"</p> - -<p>"Who, sweet?"</p> - -<p>"This creep who kidnapped you. Point him out."</p> - -<p>The blonde glanced around. "That's him," she said, pointing, "the one -with all those people following him."</p> - -<p>The man observed Marc's retreating figure with a professional eye. "Not -much meat on him," he judged, "especially around the shank." He shoved -the blonde aside. "This'll only take a second."</p> - -<p>"Mother in heaven!" Toffee cried, "the whole population is out to get -you." She pulled Marc out of reach of Julie's bag as it made a broad -swipe at his head. "Come on, let's join the judge!"</p> - -<p>Together, they raced around the bench and started to mount to the chair.</p> - -<p>"Get away!" the judge screamed, taking in the ranks of Marc's -attackers. "Don't come up here!"</p> - -<p>"Sorry," Toffee said, leaping lightly up beside him and snatching up -the gavel. "This is total war!"</p> - -<p>Marc gaining the bench, turned his attention to Julie. "Please, dear!" -he cried. "There's nothing to be sore about!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, isn't there?" Julie gritted. "What about that naked little trull -you're with?" She hefted the bag anew.</p> - -<p>"Let me at him!" the enraged butcher bellowed from the flank. "I'll get -him if I have to hack that bench away around him!"</p> - -<p>In answer, Toffee brandished the gavel in a wide gesture of defiance -which terminated solidly on the side of the judge's nose.</p> - -<p>"Ouch!" the judge roared, grabbing his face with both hands. "Clear the -court!"</p> - -<p>"Hell!" the butcher yelled. "I'm going to smear the court with that -lousy kidnapper!"</p> - -<p>The siege of the bench raged, and it will always be a sterling -testimony to Julie's physical prowess that as she scaled the bench, the -lethal handbag never once ceased to twirl over her head; if it happened -to strike the judge more often than anyone else it was only because -her aim was deflected by her overwrought emotions. To Marc and Toffee, -however, the real menace lay in the butcher and his cleaver. Only by -the most adroit maneuverings with the gavel was Toffee able to delay -his murderous progress with a few strategic licks on the shins.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The doctors, on the other hand, gave themselves over more to calculated -strategy. While two of them tried to close in on Marc from the sides, -the chloroformist, can and sponge held ready, crept up from the rear. -They might have succeeded in this maneuver except for Toffee. The -redhead, seeing that time and speed were of the essence, abandoned her -attack on the butcher and sailed forward, the gavel raised in one hand, -the gadget in the other. Her plan was to dispatch the flankers with -a single action, then sweep on to overcome the third doctor with all -dispatch. The strategy, however, was too hastily conceived to be really -successful.</p> - -<p>Marc in an effort to avoid Julie's bag, leaped forward at just the -wrong moment. Throwing himself toward Toffee, he received the full -impact of both the gavel and the gadget, one to the ear. He reeled to -one side, stumbled and sprawled to the floor, shaking his head.</p> - -<p>"Oh, no!" he wailed, looking back reproachfully at Toffee. "Not you -too!"</p> - -<p>But Toffee didn't answer; she was far too surprised and pleased at the -sudden results of this little accident. In banging Marc over the head -with the gadget, she had inadvertently sprung the switch and introduced -George, completely restored to the last molecule, into the very center -of the proceedings. She only regretted she hadn't thought of it sooner -as she saw the attackers, in the confusion, turn on George in force.</p> - -<p>"Stay down," she hissed and dropped down lightly beside Marc. "While -George is standing in for you, let's get out of this."</p> - -<p>Marc rose to his knees, took in the new development and nodded. "This -way," he said, indicating a door behind the bench. "I saw the judge -crawling out this way a minute ago."</p> - -<p>Together they scuttled on their hands and knees to the door. Marc edged -it open, let Toffee through, then followed after. Safe, they turned -back to see how the battle was developing around the bench.</p> - -<p>George appeared to be finding himself at rather a rude disadvantage. -And it is entirely conceivable that the besieged spook might well -have been confused in that his last conscious moment had been the one -of promised amour just before Toffee hypnotized him. Now, suddenly -restored to awareness, instead of a fawning redhead, he found himself -confronted by what appeared to be a select group of the worst fiends of -hell.</p> - -<p>George's gaze grew more and more terrified as he took in the swinging -handbag, the slashing meat axe and the intense, determined faces of the -doctors. With a single shriek of despair, as the meat axe made a swipe -at his ear, he staggered backwards and vanished into thin air.</p> - -<p>"Poor George," Toffee giggled. "I've got a feeling he checked out for -good just then. He looked like a ghost who's just remembered a previous -engagement."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc got up, closed the door and flicked the latch. He stopped, glanced -around at the room. It was some sort of inner chamber, resplendent of -leather and polished wood, a place of durability and hard surfaces, -lighted by a large brass lamp standing on an enormous oak desk. At the -far end of the room a door stood ajar, opening onto a hallway which -pointed the direction of the judge's recent escape. Marc crossed to it -and closed and locked it.</p> - -<p>"Well," Toffee said, perching herself lightly on the corner of the -desk. "This is more like it. Private."</p> - -<p>Marc turned wearily from the door. "Just leave me alone," he sighed. -"Just let me sit down somewhere and relax. This is the first time in -almost twenty-four hours that I haven't had someone at my heels trying -to kill me."</p> - -<p>"Poor Marc," Toffee said. "You do need a rest."</p> - -<p>Marc started across the room toward a large leather-covered chair. He -was nearly there when he caught his foot in the lamp cord and fell.</p> - -<p>Even as he struck the floor he was aware of the crazy see-saw flashes -of light traveling up and down the wall. It wasn't until he rolled -over, however, that he saw the lamp teetering precariously on the edge -of the desk just above his head. He started to cry out, but before he -could force the sound to his lips the lamp slipped beyond the edge and -plunged downward. It seemed to explode in his face....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It grew out of the darkness, a place of familiar beauty. The light -came slowly like the first faint tracings of dawn, etching the gentle -slopes, the intricate, clustered outline of the forest.</p> - -<p>Marc looked around at Toffee who was sitting beside him on the rise of -the knoll. In the glowing half-light she was beautiful beyond words.</p> - -<p>"I ought to break your thick skull," she said. "Will you never learn to -pick up those huge feet of yours?"</p> - -<p>"Huh?" Marc said.</p> - -<p>"Tripping over that damned cord just when we'd gotten away from them -all. Big-footed oaf."</p> - -<p>"Oh, golly, that's right," Marc said. "We're back in the valley."</p> - -<p>"You're darned tootin' we're back in the valley," Toffee said -fretfully. "And that means it's all over. No high-life, no -snaky-dressed, and no...."</p> - -<p>"There wouldn't have been any of that anyway," Marc put in hastily. -"It's just as well."</p> - -<p>"Don't be too sure," Toffee said with a sidelong glance. "All I needed -was a few more minutes and...."</p> - -<p>"What happened to your gadget?" Marc asked, changing the subject.</p> - -<p>Toffee picked up the instrument from the grass beside her and shook it. -It made a loose rattling sound.</p> - -<p>"I broke it when I hit you over the head with it." She tossed it away -from her and it rolled down the slope and out of view. "It's served -its purpose." She turned to Marc. "That is if you'll just stop making -people want to kill you."</p> - -<p>"I feel all dented and scratched," Marc said. "But I guess I'm all -right."</p> - -<p>"You'd feel more dented and scratched if I'd gotten ahold of you," -Toffee said. "For instance...."</p> - -<p>Suddenly she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a -moment Marc felt that he must have gotten mixed up with a metal clamp.</p> - -<p>"Gee whiz!" he said as she released him.</p> - -<p>"That's just the beginning," Toffee said. "I like to ease into these -things. After that...." She stopped as the light of the valley began to -dwindle. "Oh, damn!"</p> - -<p>Marc looked around at the valley in the rapidly diminishing light. -A small pang of regret flickered deep inside him. He felt himself -drifting off into the growing darkness.</p> - -<p>"Goodbye, Toffee," he whispered. "Goodbye."</p> - -<p>He felt the light caress of her hand on his cheek.</p> - -<p>"So long, you lovely old reprobate," Toffee said. "Don't you dare -forget me...."</p> - -<p>And then the darkness was complete and Toffee and the valley were gone -in a swirling haze.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc stirred and there was a small thud beside him. He opened his eyes -and looked around; the thud had been the lamp rolling off his chest. He -forced himself to sit up.</p> - -<p>There was just enough light from a small skylight above to see that -Toffee was no longer there. He hadn't really expected that she would -be. He shook his head briefly to clear it. The memory of Julie and the -others in the courtroom came to him.</p> - -<p>He had to get out of there. He had to get home. He could wait there and -explain things to Julie—somehow—when she returned. He got to his feet -and gazed bleakly down the long, unshapely stretch of his own bare legs.</p> - -<p>It wouldn't do to go wandering around on the streets like that. -Remembering that he had noticed a closet when he'd first entered the -room, he made his way to it now and opened the door.</p> - -<p>The only thing in the closet was the judge's discarded black robe. Marc -regarded it for a moment but nonetheless took it off the hanger. It was -much better than nothing. He slipped the robe on and crossed to the -door leading into the hallway.</p> - -<p>He unlocked the door and opened it. The hallway was deserted. It led -toward the back of the building and outside. Marc quitted the room and -quickly traced the hall to a set of outdoor steps leading down to a -parking area. He started forward, then drew back as a figure appeared -from around the far corner and made for one of the cars. Then suddenly -he stopped as he realized that the figure was Julie and she was on her -way to their blue convertible.</p> - -<p>"Julie...?" he called.</p> - -<p>Julie, whirling about, caught sight of him and screamed at the top of -her lungs. Having expressed herself thusly she leaped for the car, tore -the door open and threw herself inside. Then, slamming the door and -snapping the catch, she started fumbling feverishly in her bag for the -keys.</p> - -<p>Marc hastened down the steps and across the lot. He banged on the car -door.</p> - -<p>"Julie!" he cried. "Listen to me! I can explain about the girl. She was -only helping me trap the congressman. She's gone now. Julie, are you -listening?"</p> - -<p>Julie paused in her frenzied gropings and looked out at him. She -lowered the window just a crack with an unnerved hand.</p> - -<p>"Beat it, you—you apparition!" she quavered. "I can't see you, I -really <i>can't</i>! So it's no good your pretending you're there. You're -not, and I know it. Go away!"</p> - -<p>"Apparition?" Marc said. "I'm no apparition. Julie, it's me—Marc!"</p> - -<p>Julie's gaze steadied a trifle. "You're sure?" she asked. "You're -really there?"</p> - -<p>"Of course I am. Let me in the car, please, dear."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>She hesitated, but in the end she opened the door, reached out gingerly -and touched him. Then, with a smile of reassurance, she slid over to -make room for him beside her.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Marc!" she cried. "I'm so glad it's you. I thought I saw you just -sort of fade away in there and ... I guess I've been out of my mind -with worry."</p> - -<p>Marc reached out an arm and drew her close to him. "It's all right, -dear," he said. "It's all over now."</p> - -<p>"But the doctors said you had to be operated on. They said you were -dying."</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," Marc said hedging. "Well—that was just a gag, a trick to -make the congressman expose himself. Where are the doctors now?"</p> - -<p>"Asleep," Julie said.</p> - -<p>"Asleep?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. It seems that one of them got excited and spilled a big can of -chloroform on all three of them. They looked very relaxed when I left."</p> - -<p>"Probably needed the rest," Marc said. "They seemed quite energetic." -He patted her shoulder. "So do we. Shall we go home?"</p> - -<p>Julie nodded. Marc started the car.</p> - -<p>"Marc...?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, dear?"</p> - -<p>"About that girl, the one with red hair. That was very silly of me, -wasn't it?"</p> - -<p>"Silly?" Marc asked.</p> - -<p>"The way I got it into my head that there was something between you -two. That was silly, wasn't it?"</p> - -<p>"Very silly," Marc said. "I don't know how you ever thought of such a -thing." He turned and smiled at her. "But I forgive you."</p> - -<p>Julie moved closer. "Thank you, dear," she murmured. "You're very kind -and understanding. Besides, if I'd just stopped to think about it I'd -have realized she wasn't the kind you'd ever give a second thought."</p> - -<p>Marc backed up the car and headed out of the lot. "Of course not, -dear," he said. A smile played at the corner of his lips as he gazed -off into the distance. "Never a second thought...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><i>George approached through the mists, his ectoplasm disheveled and -drooping. As he moved toward the sentry station it was all too apparent -that here was a shade in low spirits.</i></p> - -<p><i>"George Pillsworth, spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth -reporting in from leave," he announced listlessly.</i></p> - -<p><i>The sentry, a gross spectre of the lower sort, jutted his head out of -the opening. "Hot dawg!" he said. "Wait'll the Council gets a load of -you!"</i></p> - -<p><i>George looked up wearily. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.</i></p> - -<p><i>"Just after you took off, word came through that Pillsworth was as -hail and hearty as health biscuits. They've been waiting up for you -ever since. Boy, are you in for a welcome!</i>"</p> - -<p><i>George shrugged and sighed heavily. "Back to the Moaning Chorus, I -suppose?" he said.</i></p> - -<p><i>"You know it, brother," the sentry nodded, and leaning forward he -swung the gates open in a wide gesture. "Pass on, George Pillsworth, -spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth. Come and get it, kid."</i></p> - -<p><i>George drifted disconsolately through the gates and toward the Council -Chambers which loomed large and formidable through the swirling mists -ahead. Slowly, softly he began to hum to himself, a tune of great -melancholy and gentle discord. He paused, hummed the tune again.</i></p> - -<p><i>"Not bad," he mused, "not bad at all. With a little arranging it might -go over big."</i></p> - -<p><i>Humming the tune again, he resumed toward the chambers. He shrugged, -dusted his ectoplasm and smoothed it down.</i></p> - -<p><i>Now that he stopped to think about it he was sort of relieved to be -back. Certainly the Moaning Chorus couldn't be any more exhausting -than what he'd just gone through on Earth. And, coming right down to -it, those humans down there were beginning to get a little spooky -lately....</i></p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ -concept and trademark. 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