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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #65931 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65931)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of No Time For Toffee!, by Charles F. Myers
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: No Time For Toffee!
-
-Author: Charles F. Myers
-
-Release Date: July 27, 2021 [eBook #65931]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! ***
-
-
-
-
- NO TIME FOR TOFFEE!
-
- By Charles F. Myers
-
- Life was Marc's oyster, but: subversives
- had shot him--a ghost was ready to haunt his
- corpse--and Toffee was loving him to death!
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
- July 1952
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-_Just as he stepped to the microphone Marc caught sight of the swarthy
-man. He saw the red scar across the left eyebrow, the dull flash of
-metal in the large hairy hand. By then it was too late even to cry out.
-In the next instant the glass panel in the control booth shattered._
-
-_Marc felt an explosion of hot pain deep inside his chest. He was aware
-of looking around dumbly at Dick Drewson and seeing Drewson's face
-register shocked disbelief. Then the scene--the room, Drewson and the
-others--disappeared, engulfed in a blinding sheet of flame--and Marc
-knew he was falling...._
-
- * * * * *
-
-Somewhere, in a place where time and space didn't exist, grey mists
-began to seeth and swirl, and withall there was an ominous rumbling.
-The High Council was almost in session.
-
-In a sense, the High Council was already in session, for the Heads of
-the Council had developed their intellects to such an inconceivable
-degree that when a meeting of the Council was imminent they could
-send their thoughts on ahead of them and get the meeting under way
-even before putting in an appearance. There was an exchange of views
-and information long before the Heads accomplished the mundane and
-troublesome business of materialization. Thus it was that the mists
-of Limbo now rumbled with thought, counter thought and--on this
-particular occasion--downright aggravation, even before the arrival
-of the Supreme Head in the vapored chambers. There was an air of
-foreboding.
-
-Having declined all vanities in the pursuit of the Ultimate
-Intelligence, the Heads had allowed themselves to evolve into literal
-representations of their titles. Directing all their energy and
-development to the brain and its encasement, their bodies had suffered
-proportionately so that now they were little more than a group of
-preposterously large craniums, shaggy with cerebration, bearing faces
-weighted with the ponderous woe of Life, Death, Eternity and other
-such mental ballast. Five in all, they made up a company to be avoided
-whatever the cost.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The Supreme Head cleared his throat and Eternity rattled with phlegmy
-discontent. Baleful glances were exchanged all around.
-
-"Well," said the Supreme Head, after a pause for attention. "I suppose
-you all know the reason for this meeting by now?"
-
-The Second Head, a bald party with large ears, nodded sadly. "You say
-this blighted Pillsworth has gone and got himself shot this time?"
-
-"Precisely," the Supreme Head affirmed. "In a broadcasting studio, if
-you please. There's simply no keeping that man out of trouble."
-
-"But why should we want to keep him out of trouble?" the Third Head, an
-elongated customer with eye pouches, wanted to know. "That's hardly our
-responsibility."
-
-"There's George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head said fatefully. "Surely
-you haven't forgotten about George?"
-
-A hush fell over the Council, a hush of horror.
-
-"Not George again?" the Second Head shuddered. "We don't have to face
-him again, do we?" He looked around beseechingly at the others. "After
-all, Pillsworth's only injured, isn't he? He's not dying?"
-
-The Supreme Head looked for a moment as though he wished he had
-shoulders so he might shrug them hopelessly. "The vibrations are
-confused again," he sighed. "I don't know what the interference is
-around Pillsworth, but the call never comes through clearly. All we
-know is that he's gotten himself into another mess of some sort and is
-either dead or dying."
-
-"It seems that the subversives are still strongly active in the
-United States, and of course Pillsworth couldn't stay out of it like
-a good citizen. He was approached by some men delegated by government
-authority to take control of national advertising. The theory was that
-American advertising could be used as a strong combative propaganda
-weapon against the enemy propaganda already circulating through the
-country. A committee was delegated to secure the cooperation of the
-nation's leading advertising agencies. Naturally, since Pillsworth is
-the nation's leading advertising executive, they contacted him first."
-
-"Then Pillsworth is a subversive?" the First Head enquired. "That's how
-he got into trouble?"
-
-"Not at all," said the Supreme Head. "That's just it. Pillsworth wasn't
-subversive, but the government committee was."
-
-"Eh?"
-
-"Exactly. It turned out that the program was one of the cleverest
-propaganda schemes ever devised. Actually, their aim was to insert
-alien ideals into the nation's advertising."
-
-"But you said the plan had government approval."
-
-"That's the really clever part of it. The method of presentation, while
-seeming on the surface to denounce the foreign creed and uphold the
-American one, actually was designed to win support for the enemy. The
-sales psychology employed was of the negative."
-
-"Negative?"
-
-"That's correct. It's the old principle of telling people they don't
-want a thing until they develop a feeling of defiance and decide they
-are going to have it. It's an extremely subtle approach, but almost
-infallible if properly developed. Knowing this, these men had a perfect
-plan, so subtle that even the government didn't recognize it. Also,
-they had help from within. A certain Congressman Entwerp pushed through
-the legislation."
-
-"But Pillsworth saw through it?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-"Instantly," the Supreme Head nodded. "It was a principle he had been
-using assiduously for years, in fact the very one through which he
-achieved his success. The whole plot was as clear as a May morn the
-moment he heard it. That's when the trouble started. He contacted
-Congressman Entwerp."
-
-"Oh, dear!"
-
-"Indeed. Entwerp responded by holding Pillsworth up to ridicule."
-
-"But Pillsworth had logic on his side."
-
-The Supreme Head smiled tolerantly. "That's the Earth for you every
-time," he said. "Show a human a bit of logic and he gets truculent on
-the spot. Pillsworth was denounced as a witch hunter and instructed
-under penalty of law to cooperate to the fullest."
-
-"Shocking," the Third Head said. "I begin to feel sorry for this
-Pillsworth."
-
-"Pillsworth was similarly shocked. But he didn't feel sorry for
-himself. Despite his inclination for the quiet conservative life, he
-fought back."
-
-"Good," the Fourth Head put in. "I'm glad; it gives the story zip."
-
-"My thought in telling you this," the Supreme Head said caustically,
-"is merely to inform, not entertain."
-
-"Sorry, sir."
-
-The Head nodded acknowledgment. "But to get on, Pillsworth presented
-his case to a news broadcaster and asked to be allowed to recite his
-story to the nation in the interests of national security. He was shot.
-By whom we do not know; the fellow got away. But the fact we must hold
-in mind is that he definitely was shot."
-
-"Then it really is serious," the Third Head said. "We may have to
-interview this deadly George after all."
-
-"It's unavoidable," the Supreme Head sighed. "There's no way around
-it."
-
-"But we're not positive Pillsworth is dead yet. Couldn't we wait and be
-sure?"
-
-"His vibrations have been broken," the Supreme Head said. "Actually we
-have no cause to hesitate." He sighed. "I suppose we might as well get
-it over with."
-
-The others nodded in reluctant agreement. There was an oppressive
-silence.
-
-"But didn't we banish George?" the First Head said. "We must have after
-his last excursion to Earth."
-
-"That's right," the Second Head agreed. "I remember distinctly. He
-attempted to fire poor Pillsworth off into outer space without a
-pressure suit. We banished him to the Void to sing bass in the Moaning
-Chorus."
-
-"We certainly picked the right party for the job," the First Head
-reflected. "There isn't a more base spirit in all Limbo. Has he been
-summoned?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The Supreme Head coughed regretfully. "I issued the call through
-Message Center before I announced the council."
-
-"Oh, dear," the First Head murmured, "then the stinker is practically
-on the sloop at this very moment."
-
-"The stinker is crossing the sloop even now," the Supreme Head amended,
-his gaze fastened hauntedly on a disturbance in the outer mists. "Here
-he comes."
-
-"Secure your valuables," the Second Head said morosely. "And keep your
-hands in your pockets."
-
-Hesitantly, under the unblinking disapproval of the Council, George
-materialized. As the Council watched, a duplicate of Marc Pillsworth's
-long, lean body, made vague by misted robes, rose solidly out of the
-moiling vapors. It grew to full stature, rounded out at the shoulders,
-extended a neck, then stopped short of the head. There was an expectant
-pause, but nothing further developed.
-
-"The rotter's ashamed to face us," the First Head observed sourly.
-
-"Little wonder," the Third Head muttered. "After the way he's blotted
-the haunting profession, he hasn't got a leg to stand on."
-
-"George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head intoned with exasperation,
-"spiritual projection of the mortal entity, Marc Pillsworth, approach
-the Council. And put on your head, you fool."
-
-George stirred, and his head, working from the chin upward,
-materialized, revealing the face of Marc Pillsworth. All in all, as
-faces go, Marc's--and consequently also George's--hit very close to
-average. It was a nice face, a pleasant face, for all its lack of
-distinction. On George, therefore, it was a misleading face. With its
-lean plainness, its serious grey eyes and its shock of sandy hair,
-it failed utterly to express even a whit of George's unprincipled
-temperament.
-
-"Is that better, sir?" George asked, edging warily forward.
-
-"Hardly that," the Supreme Head groused. "The less of you the better.
-However it helps us somewhat to get a clue to the inner festerings of
-that depraved mind of yours." He gazed at George for a long, reflective
-moment, then made a sad, clucking sound. "I simply cannot imagine
-what Marcus Pillsworth must have thought when he discovered that his
-spiritual entity was a tacky, ebony-hearted, feather-headed wretch like
-you. Why aren't you more like your mortal source?"
-
-George shrugged sheepishly. "I guess I'm just no damn good," he
-murmured.
-
-"You flatter yourself," the Supreme Head said. "You're much worse than
-no damn good. You're simply awful. I wonder if Limbo will ever live you
-down."
-
-"I hope so, sir," George said contritely.
-
-"Nevertheless," the Supreme Head went on, "much as I loathe it, I
-suppose we must get on with it. I suppose you know why you've been
-summoned?"
-
-George nodded dimly. "They reported me for teaching the Moaning Chorus
-to syncopate."
-
-"What!" the Supreme Head gasped. "You did _what_?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-George looked up, afrighted; he'd given himself away again with no
-need. "Yes, sir," he sighed resignedly, "I thought that if we got up
-a good hot act we might be able to wangle a few guest shots with the
-Celestial Choir. Actually, we've worked out a really sock arrangement
-of the _Wham Bam Blues_. I'm sure that if you heard it...."
-
-"No!" the Supreme Head roared. "You _couldn't_! Of all the
-unmitigated...!" He stopped and waited for his spleen to subside.
-"George Pillsworth," he said, "you are insufferable."
-
-"I suppose so, sir," George said. "However my intentions...."
-
-"Blast your intentions!"
-
-"Yes, sir. I'm very sorry."
-
-"Never mind. In that case it's probably just as well that things are as
-they are. It'll be a great relief to be rid of you."
-
-"Rid of me?" George said fearfully. "You aren't going to...?"
-
-"Unfortunately, no," the Supreme Head sighed. "What I mean is that your
-mortal part, Marc Pillsworth, has got himself shot."
-
-George looked up sharply. His whole aspect changed; his eye brightened;
-his entire being grew more alert. "I'm to be sent to Earth as a
-permanent haunt? Oh, sir...!"
-
-"Hold it!" the Supreme Head snapped. "Don't go into a spring dance.
-There's a hitch."
-
-"Oh," George said, but his eagerness was not noticeably dampened.
-
-To George, the merest prospect of a visit to Earth was only to be
-regarded with rapturous anticipation. To him that distant world of
-mortals was a place of boundless and exquisite attraction. It was made
-up in equal parts of liquor, women and larceny and anything else that
-existed there was merely the result of these things brought together in
-odd combination. For George, Earth was absolutely the last gasp.
-
-Of course George had never achieved the ultimate accomplishment of
-establishing permanent residence on Earth, for on all of his previous
-visits he had arrived only to find that Marc was still alive and that
-he could not legitimately remain. If on these occasions, George had
-done his level best to rectify this error with whatever murderous means
-at hand, it did not imply that the ghost held any personal animosity
-for Marc. It was simply that George's was the sort of temperament which
-boggled at almost nothing to achieve its end.
-
-"What's the catch?" he asked.
-
-"Don't be flip," the Supreme Head admonished. "And stop syncopating."
-
-"Syncopating?" George asked innocently. "I'm standing perfectly still."
-
-"It's your mind," the Supreme Head said. "It's jogging about like a cat
-on hot bricks. It shows all over you. This is an occasion of enormous
-seriousness."
-
- * * * * *
-
-George did his best to assume an expression of profound sobriety.
-"Yes, sir," he murmured.
-
-"First of all," the Supreme Head continued, "as usual there is some
-question as to Pillsworth's actual status. He has been shot, it's true,
-and his vibrations are definitely broken. However, experience has
-taught us to be wary in the case of Pillsworth. Often we have acted
-on false alarms in the past and have been sorry." The Head paused
-and beetled his brow. "Of course we need not have regretted those
-errors had you behaved yourself at all in the manner of a decent,
-self-respecting shade. Nevertheless, we don't dare take a chance
-despite our reluctance in the matter. Pillsworth's wound falls into the
-mortality class, so we have no alternative but to issue you your travel
-orders and the usual allotment of ectoplasm." He fixed George with an
-unhappy stare. "And get that look of evil delight off your face."
-
-"Sorry, sir," George said.
-
-"And make up your mind right now that this is a business trip. If
-Pillsworth is not dead or definitely dying when you arrive you will
-return instantly. Do you understand?"
-
-"Yes, sir."
-
-"And if he isn't dead or dying you will do nothing to alter this state
-of affairs. You will not undertake on your own initiative to shove him
-off tall buildings, under moving trucks or into open manholes. You will
-not threaten him with ropes, guns, explosives, rare poisons or knives,
-or attempt to dispatch him to heaven by means of rocket. Have you got
-all that straight?"
-
-"Yes, sir," George said quietly. "Hands off. I understand."
-
-"I hope you do," the Head said ominously, "for your own sake. Anyway,
-I suppose you'd better go along now and start checking out through
-Supply. All that's left here is for you to raise your right hand and
-swear by memory to the Ten Commandments of the Hunter's code. However,
-I suppose you've got them all cribbed on the sleeve of your robe."
-
-George lowered his gaze. "Yes, sir," he murmured. "I have."
-
-"Then skip it," the Head sighed resignedly. "Just clear out."
-
-"Yes, sir," George said, brightening. "Thank you, sir."
-
-As the mists swirled up around George, and he gradually dissolved into
-their vaporish currents, a joyous grin lighted his face....
-
- * * * * *
-
-Three sets of eyes fastened clinically on the X-ray with worried,
-professional interest.
-
-"There's a slight chance," the first doctor said, "if we operate
-immediately."
-
-"Too slight," the second murmured. "The bullet's too close to the
-heart. He'll die on the table."
-
-"He'll die anyway. We're merely taking the only chance there is."
-
-"I suppose so. Has his wife arrived yet?"
-
-"She's with him now."
-
-"He's not conscious, is he?"
-
-"No, certainly not, but they could not keep her away."
-
-"We'd better explain how it is. We're almost certain to lose him."
-
-"I suppose so."
-
-There was a pause before they turned and reluctantly left the room.
-Outside, in the hospital corridor, the first doctor proceeded to the
-door at the end of the hall while the other two stayed behind. He
-opened the door and quietly stepped inside.
-
-Marc lay still on the bed, his pleasant face drawn and pale against the
-pillow. Julie sat beside the bed, a classic figure of silent grief, her
-blonde beauty drained with uncomprehending fright. She did not cry. Nor
-did she move as the doctor walked toward her from the door.
-
-"Mrs. Pillsworth ..." the doctor said, but Julie remained motionless.
-He moved closer to her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder.
-"We've just seen the X-ray." At this Julie looked up. "We'll have to
-operate instantly. The preparations are being made now." He paused.
-"The chances for success are negligible."
-
-Julie nodded dazedly. "I know," she whispered. "I know...."
-
-She did not resist as the doctor took her arm and guided her to the
-door. At the last moment, though, she paused and looked back at the
-lean face on the pillow.
-
-"He looks so peaceful," she said. "He looks so content. Does a dying
-man ever dream, doctor?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Even Marc himself could not have fitted a positive answer to Julie's
-question. Did he dream? Or had he merely retreated from the world to a
-realm of absolute reality? He didn't know himself.
-
-He remembered passing through caverns of roaring darkness, only
-to be caught up by a tongue of searing flame and hurled into some
-obscure dimness where it seemed that all the thought, melody, all the
-remembered sensation of a lifetime writhed about him like vague forms,
-one interposed upon the other, in unpatterned confusion.
-
-But now these entangled vagaries faded away and suddenly he found
-himself sitting on a green slope at the outer perimeter of a grove of
-graceful trees. A blue mist drifted lightly up the far rise to soften
-the horizon. Marc was no stranger to this place for he had visited it
-often. He felt no dismay at finding himself again in the valley of his
-own mind. Indeed, through the last few years, it had become as familiar
-to him as his own home or office. So had the redheaded minx who found
-her existence there.
-
-Marc stirred and looked around. The landscape was uninhabited. No
-lovely, lightly clad figure appeared on the horizon, no lithe form
-emerged from the groves and ran toward him.
-
-Marc frowned anew over the improbable fact of Toffee. Certainly
-she existed in his mind, a constant and consistent product of his
-imagination. That was perfectly easy to understand. The parts of it,
-though, that he never quite got used to were her periods of existence
-outside his mind, in the world of actuality.
-
-What Marc had never been able to really comprehend was that his mind
-could project into the physical world a physical being--to such an
-extent that her existence was not only apparent to himself but also to
-everyone else who came within the radius of the mental vibration which
-produced the girl.
-
-The question in Marc's mind, then, was whether Toffee really existed,
-was truly real, or whether she was merely an hallucination, a sort of
-contagious hysteria.
-
-Toffee's personality always got in the way of the answer. The girl was
-infinitely distracting, from the pert aliveness of her quick green
-eyes to the full redness of her lips. Beyond that there was the almost
-shameful perfection of her supple young body. These things blocked
-analytical thought. Then, too, there was her unerring instinct for
-roaring, bounding madness, and her absolute contempt for the logical,
-the moral or the conservative. Toffee, in brief, was at once brash,
-embarrassing, impetuous, warm, high-handed, endearing, maddening and
-completely unforgettable. So to all practical purposes, then, she was
-real; the matter of Toffee's source was pallidly unimportant next to
-the vivid fact of Toffee herself.
-
-Marc stretched luxuriously and got to his feet, but as he did so he
-peered around toward the green obscurity of the forest. There was still
-no movement, no sound. He frowned quizzically. This wasn't at all
-usual. Always before Toffee had been there to greet him almost at the
-instant of his arrival. Another time she would be swarming all over him
-by now.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He shrugged and started aimlessly up the rise. At first he climbed
-unhurriedly, but as he drew nearer the trees his gait quickened. At the
-outskirts of the forest he found himself pausing to listen, but there
-was no sound. The feathery branches swayed in silent grace before him.
-A small concern began to trickle into his mind.
-
-The blue mists broke smoothly before his stride as he entered the cool
-enclosure of the forest. Again he paused.
-
-"Toffee...?" he found himself calling.
-
-There was no answer.
-
-He shoved ahead, and now there was a sort of anxiety in his step, and
-he took care not to break the stillness lest Toffee answer. An odd
-feeling of bereavement came over him, though he told himself it was
-foolish. After all, the girl was entirely imaginary, and a pack of
-trouble into the bargain. Then suddenly he stopped.
-
-An odd murmuring seemed to come from the left. He moved in that
-direction, stopped to listen, then hurried on. Ahead he saw a dim
-lightness sketched through the trees, a suggestion of a clearing
-obscured by the dense branches. He approached it, parted the foliage
-and looked out. He stopped short.
-
-Toffee sat in the middle of the clearing, her legs folded under her.
-Her eyes were closed and one slender hand was pressed to her forehead
-in an attitude of labored concentration. Her slight tunic, an emerald
-transparency at best, did little to conceal the impertinent perfection
-of her figure. She was leaning forward just a bit, and her flaming hair
-hung loose over her shoulders. She seemed to be chanting something to
-herself, though Marc couldn't make it out.
-
-"Toffee...?" he said, and stepped forward to brace himself against the
-inevitable rush of brash affection.
-
-The girl opened her eyes and looked around hastily.
-
-"Sit down somewhere," she said, "and be quiet."
-
-"Huh?" Marc asked.
-
-Toffee didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes, swayed back lightly
-on her shapely haunches and began the muttered chant anew.
-
-Marc swayed a trifle himself, with astonishment--and perhaps a tinge of
-disappointment. This wasn't like Toffee at all, not by a long shot. He
-moved slowly to her side and gazed down at her intent, upturned face.
-
-"Toffee...?" he hazarded.
-
-She didn't open her eyes. Her lips moved. "Molecules," she said.
-
-"What?" Marc asked.
-
-"Molecules," Toffee repeated. "Molecules ... molecules...."
-
-"Molecules?" Marc said. "What are you talking about?"
-
-Toffee opened her eyes at this and looked up at him with anxious
-irritation.
-
-"Please be still," she said. "I've got to think about molecules
-exclusively. It isn't helping any, your gabbing away in my ear."
-
-"But why?" Marc asked. "What about molecules?"
-
-"Everything depends on them, that's all," Toffee said impatiently.
-"Now, just...."
-
-"But wait a min--!"
-
-"Quiet," Toffee said. "Don't you realize that you're tottering on the
-brink of death at this very moment? Me, too, for that matter."
-
-"Death?" Marc asked. "What are you talking about?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Toffee looked at him aghast. "Don't you remember?" she asked. "Have you
-actually forgotten about being shot in the studio?"
-
-Marc stared down at her in growing horror. A small, agonized memory
-screamed out of the dark inner shadows of his awareness.
-
-"Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I'm dying!"
-
-"And if those licensed butchers get to hacking you up, you're a goner,"
-Toffee said anxiously. "I have the inside information. There isn't much
-time. I've got to concentrate like wild."
-
-"But...!"
-
-"Quiet!" Toffee broke in. "Please be quiet," she closed her eyes again
-and her lips began to move as before. "Molecules," she murmured.
-
-Marc remained rigid at her side. Panic rose inside him and filled his
-throat. His impulse was to turn and run blindly--perhaps back to that
-dying mortal body--but his terror held him transfixed. Staring down at
-Toffee, he felt he might go mad in the next moment. In the next moment
-he was certain he had.
-
-Just in front of Toffee, close to the mossy greenness, he caught sight
-of a quick flicker of light, a strange disembodied illumination that
-was at once its own source and product. As he watched it flickered
-again, grew brighter and became a steady radiance. He glanced back at
-Toffee, but her face had become fixed and masklike. Her lips no longer
-moved.
-
-The radiance grew swiftly, to an almost unbearable brightness. In it
-there was a cold hard suggestion of metal. Then it began to take form
-and solidify. Marc blinked as the thing, whatever it was, grew slowly
-out of the gleaming brilliance.
-
-First a cylinder emerged, about a foot long and four or five inches in
-diameter. For a moment the object seemed to have completed itself,
-but then, one at either end, a pair of funnel-shaped openings emerged.
-These completed, a small, two-way switch arrangement appeared at the
-top and in the center of the cylinder. After that, the radiance was
-gone and only the strange instrument remained, lying on the grass
-before Toffee as though cast there by a careless hand.
-
-"What--!" Marc gasped.
-
-Toffee's perky features relaxed. She opened her eyes.
-
-"Did it turn out all right?" she asked brightly. "Is it finished?"
-
-"Huh?" Marc asked. He pointed. "You mean _that_?"
-
-"Oh, wonderful!" Toffee cried, delighted. "It's rather pretty the way
-it shines, isn't it?"
-
-"What is it?"
-
-"How should I know?" Toffee said blandly. "Just a gadget. There's never
-been one before."
-
-"You mean you just developed it out of your mind?"
-
-"Sure," Toffee said. "It's a thought product--like me. Now if it only
-works right...." Picking up the instrument, she looked at it carefully
-and nodded with satisfaction. "It should be simple to operate."
-
-"But what's it for?"
-
-"I'll show you," Toffee said. She pointed to a nearby tree. "See that?"
-Marc nodded. "Keep looking at it."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Turning to the tree, she held the cylinder toward it, so that one of
-the funnels was aimed squarely in its direction.
-
-"Now watch," she said, and pressed the switch.
-
-Marc, staring at the tree in rapt attention, started with surprise.
-Suddenly the tree was gone with no sign that it had ever been there.
-
-"What...!"
-
-"The next part is more important," Toffee said.
-
-"Next part?" Marc said dazedly. "But where is it? Where...?"
-
-"See there?" Toffee said, and this time she pointed to the center of
-the clearing. "Watch."
-
-Holding the cylinder so that the opposite end was pointed to the
-clearing, she pressed the switch in the other direction. Instantly the
-tree shot into being exactly at the spot she had indicated.
-
-Marc stared. It was the same tree--the one that had disappeared--and
-yet it was subtly different. It seemed greener now, more alive.
-
-"What happened?" he asked. "What did you do to it?"
-
-"Molecules," Toffee said, smiling. "I broke it down into molecules,
-then projected it again. The machine absorbed the tree in molecules,
-compressed them, reconstructed the faulty or destroyed ones, eliminated
-all harmful matter and retained the count to reestablish it in perfect
-balance and health. It worked fine."
-
-"My gosh!" Marc said.
-
-Drawing close to him, Toffee twined her arms around his neck with
-knowing deliberation and drew his surprised face down close to hers.
-
-"I'm going to save your stodgy life with molecules, you skinny old,
-care-worn wraith," she breathed. "Then you'll be in my pay for the rest
-of your days. Just keep it in mind later when things begin to happen."
-
-"Huh?" Marc said. "What things?"
-
-"You'll see," Toffee said. "Wow!"
-
-Marc drew himself up stiffly. "Now, look here," he said sternly, "you
-can just get this wow business right out of your head...."
-
-"And if that doesn't work," Toffee said, "I've been studying hypnotism.
-I can transfix a snake at fifty yards." She brushed her cheek lightly
-against his. "Just think of that, you scaly old reptile."
-
-"Just a second," Marc said. "If you think for one sec--"
-
-But the sentiment was lost as Toffee renewed her hold on his neck and
-kissed him warmly and at considerable length on the mouth.
-
-"That," she whispered, "is just a token payment in advance. Just wait
-till the mortgage comes due!"
-
-[Illustration: TOFFEE]
-
-"Why, you little hussy...!" Marc wheezed. "You haven't the moral sense
-of a brickbat!"
-
-He stopped short, for suddenly the forest had begun to darken and a
-sharp wind came alive in the trees. He glanced around, startled, as the
-earth began to tremble beneath them. Instinctively, he whirled about,
-looking for an escape from the forest, but suddenly, with a groan of
-dismay, the world went black, and he was only aware of Toffee's arms
-closing tight about his neck....
-
- * * * * *
-
-The orderly was a pale, antiseptic type. And he was resentful. Wheeling
-Marc along the hallway toward Surgery, he looked down at the drawn face
-beneath him with a twinge of pique. He strongly resented the fact that
-the face was not behaving at all as the face of a true corpse-elect
-should.
-
-According to the orderly, a dying man had no right to twitch and
-flutter his eyelids the way this one was doing, let alone showing signs
-of coming completely to life. It made the orderly nervous and upset.
-
-[Illustration: MARC PILLSWORTH]
-
-For a moment the orderly almost succumbed to an impulse to walk off
-and leave the patient to shift for himself. It was what he deserved if
-he was going to act that way. Nonetheless, he remained. Consequently,
-Marc's first vision, upon returning to consciousness, was of a pale,
-fretful face with white eyelashes and thin lips. He had expected
-something better.
-
-"Who are you?" he asked weakly. "Are you the doctor?"
-
-The orderly shook his head sullenly. "I'm the orderly. The doctor's
-waiting."
-
-"They mustn't operate," Marc murmured. "I'll die...." He stopped as a
-pert face suddenly blurred into view just behind that of the orderly.
-A slender hand brushed back a wayward lock of red hair. Toffee smiled
-and winked.
-
-Marc moaned. "Oh, so it's you, is it?" he sighed. "What are you so
-happy about? I feel awful."
-
-"I'm not happy, sir," the orderly said, mystified. "I'm not happy
-at all. In fact, if you want the truth...." He paused, and the
-apprehensive expression of one who detects an unseen presence behind
-him overtook his face. Very slowly, he turned around.
-
-It would be difficult to say what the orderly expected to find behind
-him: a fanged reptile might have made a good guess, a slavering fiend
-another. It is certain, however, judging from his reaction, that on the
-list of things he did not expect to find, a scantily clad redhead was
-number one. Toffee, her legs crossed to perfection, the cylinder-like
-gadget under her arm, sat jauntily on the edge of the cart, smiling a
-bright greeting. The young man leaped backwards and froze in a transfix
-of amazement.
-
-"Auk!" he exclaimed.
-
-Toffee turned to Marc. "Is he doing a bird imitation?" she asked.
-"Should I applaud?"
-
-"Don't be funny," Marc said feebly. "I feel terrible."
-
-"I know," Toffee said. "I got here just in time."
-
-"For what?" Marc asked apprehensively. "What are you going to do?"
-
-Toffee patted the cylinder. "I'm going to save your life," she said.
-"Don't you remember?"
-
-Marc looked at her through heavy lids. "That's silly," he murmured.
-"Just go 'way and let me die in peace."
-
-Unmindful, Toffee leaped lightly to the floor, stood back and aimed the
-gadget at Marc. "All set?" she said.
-
-"Here!" the attendant said, suddenly recovering the faculty of speech.
-"What are you doing?"
-
-"Advancing medical science a mile a minute," Toffee said. "Don't
-interrupt."
-
-"But...!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Toffee placed her hand menacingly on her hip and fixed the young man
-with a steely eye. "Am I going to have to deal with you?" she asked,
-"Or are you going to button your lip like a good child?"
-
-The orderly spoke no further.
-
-Toffee raised the cylinder, sighting the length of Marc's lean,
-sheet-covered body. Then she pressed the switch.
-
-The orderly stared, wide-eyed, and repeated his bird imitation. The
-place where Marc had lain was suddenly as bare as a banquet board after
-the feast. Where a moment before there had been a long thin man, now
-there was only a long, thin sheet.
-
-"Hey!" the orderly bleated. "Ho!"
-
-"So long, phrasemaker," Toffee said, and tucking the cylinder under
-her arm, moved off quickly down the hall and around the corner.
-
-It was just as the orderly observed the last flirt of Toffee's hip that
-the doctor appeared from the door of the operating room and looked
-distractedly in his direction.
-
-"Good grief, man!" he said, "haven't you brought Pillsworth with you?"
-
-The orderly started nervously and looked around.
-
-"He ... he ... he...!" he gibbered. "That is, she ... she...!" He
-pointed in hopeless confusion down the hall.
-
-"What are you babbling about?" the doctor enquired shortly. "Where is
-Pillsworth?"
-
-"He.... He's gone, sir!" the attendant blurted.
-
-"Gone?" the doctor said. "Where did he go?"
-
-The orderly looked away down the hall. "There was this girl, see ...
-she had red hair and a can...."
-
-"Now, just a minute, orderly," the doctor said measuredly. "If you
-think you can distract me with the depressing details of your sex
-life...."
-
-"But you don't understand! She was holding this thing ... and she told
-me to shut up ... and then Mr. Pillsworth wasn't there any more. That's
-the truth!"
-
-"Let me impress it upon you," the doctor said, "that this is a very
-serious incident. I can't imagine how a half-dead patient managed to
-get away from you, but you'll find him instantly and deliver him to
-surgery if you know what's good for you. Meanwhile, I'll have the alarm
-sent out to all the wards and offices. I hope you realize that your
-carelessness has undoubtedly cost the patient his last chance for life.
-Without the slightest doubt I can pronounce Marc Pillsworth dead right
-now."
-
-As the doctor spoke these last words, a small gust of wind--or at least
-what could easily have passed for a small gust of wind--eddied around
-the corner at the end of the hall. It was this slight disturbance which
-marked the arrival of George on Earth.
-
-At the sound of the doctor's voice, the ghost stopped, listened, then
-clasped his hands together in a transport of joy. He had arrived just
-in time to receive the happy news! Marc was dead and he, George, had at
-last secured his permanent residency on Earth. Out of sheer exuberance
-the delighted spectre let out a little moan of delight.
-
-The orderly, who was watching the doctor gloomily out of sight, turned
-sharply.
-
-"Mr. Pillsworth?" he quavered thinly. "Mr. Pillsworth, please...?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Meanwhile Toffee had progressed busily along the corridors of the
-hospital in search of some private--and preferably secluded--place
-in which to reconstruct Marc. Finally, rounding a corner, she found
-herself abreast of a pair of swinging doors and started toward them.
-She stopped, however, and turned in retreat as the doors suddenly
-parted and a doctor and nurse, deep in conversation, came into view.
-She started back the way she had come, but was stopped again by an
-approaching nurse pushing an elderly female patient in a wheel chair
-flanked on either side by a crutch. Looking for an avenue of escape,
-Toffee spotted a white linen screen against the wall and darted quickly
-behind it to bide her time till the traffic had subsided.
-
-This ruse, on the face of it, hadn't a flaw and should have worked
-like a charm. It should have that is, if Toffee, in her haste, hadn't
-plumped against the wall and unknowingly pressed the button of the
-gadget.
-
-The result of this little accident was that the doctor and the nurse
-approaching from one direction, and the nurse and the patient coming
-from the other--all four of them suddenly found themselves confronted
-by a tall, thin man standing bewilderedly in the center of the hall
-with nothing to grace his long frame but an extremely brief linen shift
-loosely attached at the back. Toffee had released Marc into reality and
-good health, but costumed only for the operating table.
-
-No one was more acutely aware of this deficiency than Marc himself.
-Looking around unhappily at his stunned beholders and taking in his
-slight coverage all in a single glance, he was taken with a seizure of
-shocked modesty. Hunkering down into a squat he clutched the hem of his
-gown desperately to his knees.
-
-"My word!" the elderly patient said, leaning forward in her chair.
-"What in the world does that man think he's doing!"
-
-"I don't like to think," the nurse said, looking away. "It's bound to
-be something disgusting."
-
-"Here you!" the doctor called from the other end of the corridor. "You
-can't do that! Why are you crouched down in that obscene way?"
-
-"I'm naked!" Marc wailed. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm
-downright exposed!"
-
-"There's no reason to whisper about it," the doctor said nastily. "We
-can all see."
-
-"Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. Looking around for a retreat, his frantic
-gaze fell on the screen. Still in a squat, he hobbled swiftly toward it.
-
-"Look at him!" the patient cried, rising slightly in her chair. "Here,
-you! Stop doing that, for heaven's sake! You look like an ailing duck!"
-
-"That's nothing to what I'd look like if I stood up," Marc panted in
-one last sprint for the screen. "That would be worse."
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was not until this point in the proceedings that Toffee began to
-realize what had happened. Listening to the voices in the hall, it had
-struck her that one of them had a dreadfully familiar ring to it. It
-was much to her dismay that, in peering around the edge of the screen,
-she suddenly found herself practically eyeball to eyeball with Marc.
-She let out a small, strangled cry.
-
-"Oh, my gosh!" she said.
-
-"For Pete's sake, let me in there!" Marc said.
-
-"But how did you get out there?"
-
-"How should I know? Never mind that, let me in. They're all _looking_!"
-
-"At what?"
-
-"I shudder to think. Please let me in!"
-
-"But why are you all doubled up like that?"
-
-Tired of words, Marc reached up to the screen to pull it away so he
-could get behind it. Unfortunately, it was at this same instant that
-Toffee decided to shove it open to make room. With their combined
-efforts, the screen buckled, folded, teetered and fell, cracking Marc
-solidly on the head. The next moment found him in an unconscious sprawl
-on the floor. The area behind the screen was starkly deserted. The
-observers crowded in swiftly to see what had happened.
-
-"Good God!" the doctor cried, staring down at Marc. "It's Pillsworth,
-the man they're looking for in Surgery!"
-
-"Is he dead?" the nurse asked.
-
-The doctor shook his head. "He's breathing. Run and call an orderly to
-take him along instantly. Hurry!"
-
-As the nurse hurried off, the elderly patient removed one of the
-crutches from the side of her chair and passed it experimentally
-through the vacant area beyond the screen. She shook her head in
-perplexity.
-
-"By golly," she said, "I could have _sworn_ he was talkin' to somebody
-back there."
-
- * * * * *
-
-While this untimely denouement was rounding out in the hallway, a mad
-drama of another sort was beginning to ferment in the Pharmacy.
-
-Olliphant Gunn, the rotund and habitually foggy keeper of the dopes
-and drugs, had been watching it for several minutes; there was trouble
-brewing in the Salts and Syrups--trouble of a most mysterious and
-upsetting nature. The containers, for all the world as though they had
-suddenly been endowed with some idiotic life of their own, had begun to
-shift about all by themselves. Watching a jar of salts hurl itself to
-the floor and splash its contents out in a whitish mess, Olliphant Gunn
-concluded definitely that there was some sort of flimflam afoot.
-
-This conclusion was stoutly strengthened as he witnessed the progress
-of his private bottle from its hiding place amongst the medicants to
-a position in mid-air in front of the shelves. Olliphant began to
-quiver about the dewlaps. He quivered even more as the bottle uncapped
-itself, tilted upward and emptied a noticeable portion of its contents
-into--into absolutely nothing at all!
-
-Olliphant fell back in his chair, slack of jaw, and it is doubtful, had
-anyone been able to apprise him of the truth of the matter, that he'd
-have felt any better about it. To a man in his cups, as Olliphant was,
-the news does not come lightly that he is in the company of a thirsty
-ghost, with an unerring nose for whiskey, and a predisposition for
-celebration.
-
-Olliphant watched in bleary disbelief as the bottle repeated the
-tilting and emptying process. Then his mood began to change. Regardless
-of what this obviously demented bottle thought it was up to, it had
-no right to deplete his private reserves in this callous fashion. The
-slack jaw of Olliphant Gunn hitched itself up and became firm.
-
-"Stop that!" Olliphant roared. "You stop that right now, damnit!"
-
-For a moment the bottle wavered, as though startled, then defiantly
-upended a third time and brought the level of the coveted liquor down
-still further. Quite as though to rub salt in the wound, it burped with
-grandiose satisfaction.
-
-"Damnation!" Olliphant gasped. "I'll teach you, you blathering bottle!"
-
-Heaving his considerable bulk up out of his chair, he hurled himself
-bodily toward the object of his wrath.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The laws of nature, however, were against Olliphant from the very
-beginning. As the bottle darted out of his reach, sheer momentum
-carried him headlong into the dim reaches of Salts and Syrups. Gravity
-delivered him along with a quantity of gummy liquid and gritty
-crystallines to the floor. Settled in a sticky puddle of wreckage,
-Olliphant glanced around with a reddish, enraged expression. Besides
-salt and syrup, there was blood in his eye.
-
-At a distance sufficiently out of reach, yet insultingly near, the
-bottle was bobbing about amusedly. Indeed, Olliphant distinctly heard a
-soft chuckling sound coming from its direction. With a jungle roar he
-surged up from the floor and launched a second attack. This netted him
-another disastrous collision, this time with the glassware department.
-The Pharmacy was swiftly being transformed into a scene of chaos.
-
-In the interval, the bottle had retreated to a position by the
-doorway and was humming maddeningly to itself. Suddenly it burst into
-full-throated song.
-
-"Goin' to Louisiana," it warbled, "for a case of good whis-kee! Goin'
-to Louisiana with a hussy on mah knee!"
-
-Olliphant settled himself sadly on an untidy mound of rubble and began
-to brood. There was no use denying it; the thing was just too much for
-him. As he watched the bottle bob back and forth in time with the
-idiot song, a large tear trickled down his cheek. Olliphant Gunn was
-just a broken reed in the holocaust of Life, and his ruination had come
-about through a mere mad bottle. The man began to blubber hopelessly.
-
-It was during this heart-rending climax that the nurse, a small blonde,
-appeared at the doorway and stared into the pharmacy with large
-wondering blue eyes.
-
-The invisible George, who had been enjoying his own singing to the
-utmost, stopped at the sight of the newcomer in mid verse. Things, he
-decided, were beginning to look up. Warmed by the liquor, George was
-dazzled and enchanted.
-
-Unfortunately the nurse was neither of these. Striding through the
-door, she stepped into a trickle of syrup and skidded dangerously
-toward Olliphant. George, feeling that things were moving in the wrong
-direction entirely, seized upon the floundering blonde with one deft
-swoop of his invisible arm and lifted her to dry ground. It was a
-moment before he was able to account for the girl's shrill screams.
-
-A period of stupefied silence followed as the nurse glanced around
-suspiciously. As a girl who, in line of business, had experienced
-considerable traffic with men, she was disposed to know to the exact
-moment when she had been forcibly clutched by a masculine hand. Also,
-which only made matters worse, she was a girl who knew where she had
-been clutched and why.
-
- * * * * *
-
-In looking around for masculine hands available for clutching, a quick
-survey told the nurse that the room inventoried two and both of them
-were the exclusive property of Olliphant Gunn. Geographically it seemed
-impossible that either of these hands could have performed the recent
-clutching, but in her anger the nurse was not the one to quibble over
-details. Seizing up a large crystal beaker she unhesitatingly smashed
-it to splinters on Olliphant's skull with one smart whack. Olliphant
-looked up through his tears.
-
-"What you wanna do that for, lady?" he sobbed.
-
-"You know what for," the nurse gritted, looking around for further
-ammunition. "And that's only the beginning. If you ever...." She
-stopped as she suddenly encountered the floating bottle. Instinctively,
-or perhaps out of sheer surprise, she grabbed for it. At any rate, it
-was not until she had gotten a grip on the thing that she realized that
-this was a bottle not properly on the up and up. This fact was brought
-home to her even more clearly when the bottle refused to budge in her
-grasp and even showed a definite tendency to pull away.
-
-For a long moment the nurse merely stared at the bottle with a
-wondering gaze. Then slowly an expression of determination came into
-her pretty face. Squaring her stance, she took hold of the offending
-container with both hands.
-
-"It's no use," Olliphant said from the floor. "That bottle's mean."
-
-Heedless, the nurse braced herself and tugged with all her strength.
-The bottle gave by a foot, then lurched drunkenly in her grasp. Down on
-the floor the rivulet of syrup became disturbed, as though feet were
-churning through it desperately seeking to regain lost traction.
-
-Suddenly the bottle gave way and the nurse toppled backwards into
-Olliphant's lap. Olliphant received this new burden with resignation
-and a grunt. Across the room, however, there was another sound, as of a
-body coming in swift contact with the floor.
-
-"Damn!" the nurse said hotly, turning to Olliphant. "Keep your big
-oafish hands off me! Stop reaching."
-
-"I'm only reaching for the bottle," Olliphant said. "It's mine."
-
-"It didn't feel like it," the nurse retorted. "It felt more like...."
-She hesitated as from the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a
-long body sprawled on the floor. At first glimpse it seemed that the
-body had no head, but as she looked more closely she saw that it did,
-though she had the peculiar sensation that it had just come into being.
-Handing Olliphant the bottle she got to her feet and approached the
-prone figure. Noting that it was dressed for surgery, she stood staring
-down at it quizzically for a moment.
-
-"Holy smoke!" she breathed. "It's Pillsworth!" She turned to Olliphant.
-"Come on and help me. We've got to get him down to Surgery right away!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Marc felt himself rising through the last shredded mists of
-unconsciousness. He tried to open his eyes but a glaring light made the
-attempt too painful.
-
-"Give him the anaesthetic," a voice said close by.
-
-Panic pulsed through Marc's body. They were going to operate! Necessity
-gave him a surge of strength and he sat up, staring wildly at the three
-doctors gathered over him.
-
-"No!" he said. "Don't! I'm all right!"
-
-"Lie down, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor nearest advised. "Just lie down
-and it will all be over with in a minute."
-
-"But I'm all right!" Marc said desperately. He glared around at the
-nurse holding the mask for the anaesthetic. "Get away from me!"
-
-"Hysteria," the doctor said. "Quite understandable after what he's been
-through. He'll have to be restrained."
-
-The other two nodded in agreement. Watching Marc closely, they took up
-positions on either side of him. The first doctor moved to a place at
-Marc's feet.
-
-"When I give the signal," he whispered, "we'll all grab at once."
-
-"I heard that!" Marc yelled. "Stay away from me, you croakers, or
-I'll...!"
-
-"Okay!" the doctor cried. "Grab!"
-
-The scene over the operating table, for a moment thereafter, was a
-living abstraction in flailing arms and legs. Though Marc managed at
-one point to insert his thumb into the eye of the first doctor and his
-foot into the mouth of the second, the odds were too great against him.
-In the end he found himself pinioned helplessly to the table.
-
-"All right, nurse," the doctor said, "fit the mask to his face. As soon
-as the body's relaxed...."
-
-"You leave that body alone," a pert feminine voice said tartly. "That
-body happens to belong to me, for what it's worth, and I don't want it
-tampered with. I particularly don't want it relaxed. I want it alert
-and twitching in every fibre, and if you don't leave it alone I'm going
-to lay into the bunch of you bare fisted!"
-
-A tense silence overtook the group around the operating table. The
-doctors looked at each other, then turned to observe the dismaying
-redhead who had mysteriously appeared just behind them.
-
-"How did you get in here?" the first doctor said uncertainly.
-
-"I'm the owner of that body you are flinging about there," Toffee said
-hotly, shifting the gadget under her arm and placing a hand on her hip.
-"That body's mine right down to the last molecule and I've come to
-fight for it if I have to."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Marc sat up under the relaxed grips of the doctors, his face scarlet.
-"Why do you have to go around telling people things like that?" he
-asked plaintively.
-
-"I could put it another way," Toffee said. "Dirtier. For instance...."
-
-"No!" Marc cried. "It's dirty enough already."
-
-The doctor turned to Marc. "Who is this woman?"
-
-"I don't know," Marc lied quickly. "I've never seen her before in my
-life. Why don't you throw her out of here?"
-
-"Why, you lying old ingrate!" Toffee flamed. "For two cents I'd climb
-up there on that table and perform a few operations of my own!"
-
-"Madam!" Marc said distantly, "whoever you are, do you really think you
-ought to take on in public in this brazen way?"
-
-"I'll take you on in public, no holds barred, you thin-nosed phony,"
-Toffee gritted. "You don't know what brazen is yet!"
-
-The doctor turned to the nurse. "Call the orderlies and have this woman
-removed," he said. "And have them give her a blanket or something to
-wear. We can't delay the operation another moment. I'll give the
-anaesthetic myself."
-
-"Hey!" Marc yelled. "Toffee...."
-
-"Go ahead, doctor," Toffee said with evil satisfaction. "Rip him open.
-Slit him from ear to ear and top to bottom. I won't lift a finger."
-
-"No!" Marc cried. He turned to Toffee in panic. "It'll mean the end of
-both of us!"
-
-"Pardon my girlish laughter," Toffee said. "It's worth it, dogmeat,
-to see you get yours after the way you've treated me. Either you fork
-over that lanky frame of yours, or you're going to be out of frames
-entirely. That's the way it stacks up."
-
-"Do you have to be so vulgar about it all?" Marc asked weakly. "With
-all this talk about bodies and frames, I'm beginning to feel like just
-so many soup bones displayed on a counter."
-
-"That's exactly the parallel I've been searching for," Toffee said
-complacently. "In fact if there's anything vulgar in all this, it _is_
-your body. Come to think of it, it suddenly strikes me as so vulgar I'm
-no longer interested in it."
-
-"Please!" Marc cried as the doctors gripped him to the table. "Use that
-gadget of yours--anything! Please!"
-
-"Sorry, son," Toffee said. "I guess you'll remember after this never to
-forget a lady's name."
-
-Marc looked up and saw the mask bearing down toward his face. "Toffee!"
-he yelled. "For Pete's sake!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The mask miraculously paused in its descent, stopped. The action around
-the table came to a sharp halt. Eyes swiveled toward the door. Marc
-turned on his side just in time to observe Olliphant Gunn lumbering
-into the room under the weight of George's upper quarters.
-
-The nurse, her blonde hair in a state of dishevelment, followed bearing
-the feet and legs. Arriving at a position inside the door, they
-deposited their burden on the floor where it instantly curled over on
-its side and emitted a sodden snore.
-
-"It's Mr. Pillsworth," the nurse said breathlessly, shoving back her
-hair. "We brought him straight down without waiting for the orderlies."
-She looked up into the stunned faces staring back at her from around
-the table. Then her gaze fell to Marc.
-
-"My God!" she gasped.
-
-"Good Lord!" Marc groaned, taking in the stupid, smiling face of George.
-
-"Jesus!" breathed the doctor.
-
-"Amen," Toffee put in glibly. "Who's taking up the collection?"
-
-Marc turned to Toffee. "It's that gosh-awful spook again!" he breathed.
-"He would have to show up now!"
-
-"Actually," Toffee said, "he could not have shown up at a better time.
-I really was going to help you out, but now we have George."
-
-Marc's eyes brightened with slow realization. "Of course," he said,
-then turned as he felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "Yes?"
-
-"Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor said tensely. "You _are_ Mr. Pillsworth,
-aren't you?"
-
-Marc smiled with hypocritical innocence. "No," he said. "That's what
-I've been trying to get through your thick skull." He pointed to
-George. "That's Pillsworth there on the floor. And if you ask me he's
-in a pretty critical condition. You'd better start sawing away at him
-right now before he pops off of natural causes and robs you of the
-sport."
-
-"Oh, my word!" the doctor gasped. "How can I ever tell you...!"
-
-"Come," Marc said grandly, turning to Toffee, "let's leave this
-blood-splattered slaughter house."
-
-"I'm all for it," Toffee said gaily. "Let's flee."
-
-"I thought you didn't know that woman," the doctor said confusedly.
-
-"I begin to recognize her now," Marc replied urbanely. "It was my
-horror at the crass brutality of the medical profession that drove her
-tender memory from my mind."
-
-"But, I ..." the doctor began hopelessly.
-
-"Say no more," Toffee said airily. "You can tell your side of it in
-court."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The two of them, linking arms, started toward the door. They were just
-about to sweep out of the room when suddenly the situation hit a new
-snag. It was at this juncture that George opened his eyes, waggled
-them around woozily, then reared up in a sitting position, staring at
-Marc.
-
-"You!" he said with a strangled gasp. "You're alive!" The way he said
-it, it sounded like a hideous accusation.
-
-Marc stopped short, caught off guard. "Of course I'm alive," he said.
-
-"But you can't be!" George wailed, great tears of awful disappointment
-welling in his eyes. "It isn't fair! You _have_ to be dead!"
-
-"I'm sorry," Marc said, somewhat at a loss. "I'm not."
-
-"It's rotten," George said with drunken bitterness. "It's cruel. I'm
-probably the only ghost alive who's haunted by a human!"
-
-"Well, it's a distinction," Toffee offered hopefully.
-
-"Just a minute," the doctor put in suspiciously. "What's going on here?
-What are you people talking about?"
-
-Marc nodded sadly toward George. "The poor chap's delirious," he said.
-"We're only trying to humor him."
-
-"Oh, yeah?" the doctor said. His gaze moved from Marc to George and
-back to Marc again. "Just which one of you really _is_ Marc Pillsworth?"
-
-Marc and George pointed at each other in unison. "He is!" they chorused.
-
-The doctor passed a trembling hand over his forehead and lifted his
-gaze to the ceiling. A tremor of frustration passed through his sturdy
-frame. He turned to the small blonde.
-
-"Is Mrs. Pillsworth still in the waiting room?" he asked.
-
-"I believe so, sir," the nurse said.
-
-"Will you please call her in here to make an identification?"
-
-"No!" Marc said, glancing uneasily in Toffee's direction. "Don't do
-that...! I mean there's no need to disturb Mrs. Pillsworth. Obviously
-this pitiful creature here on the floor is Pillsworth. Just by looking
-at him you can see he's under the weather."
-
-At this George drew himself up sedately, stiffling a hiccough. "Nothing
-of the sort," he said piously. "I'm in perfectly splendid condition."
-
-"Go ahead, nurse," the doctor said firmly. "Bring Mrs. Pillsworth."
-
-"Yes, sir," the nurse said, and departed.
-
-"But, you can't afford to delay the operation that long," Marc said.
-"You said so yourself. Anyone with half an eye can see that this poor
-man is getting more feeble by the second. You owe it to him to slit
-him open immediately...!" In speaking Marc had paused to look at
-George. The result was that the words froze on his lips. Never had he
-spoken more truly; George was not only getting more feeble but more
-non-existent by the second. His legs had evaporated to the knees, his
-arms were entirely gone. Where his eyes should have been there were
-now only empty sockets. Staring at this awesome demonstration, the
-doctor tottered slightly and braced himself against the operating table.
-
-"Oh, good Lord!" he moaned.
-
-"Stop that, you coward," Marc said angrily. "Stop sneaking out like
-that!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-In response, George merely dissolved his head to a grinning skull.
-"Gotta go now," he chortled hollowly. "Gotta be corking off." He turned
-to the others and clacked his teeth menacingly. Olliphant Gunn was the
-first to snap.
-
-"There's just so much that human flesh and blood can stand," the poor
-man wailed, and leaping to the operating table he snatched up the
-anaesthetic mask and plunged it over his face.
-
-"Come on," Toffee said urgently, tugging at Marc's sleeve. "Let's get
-out of here before that cheap ghost sticks us with an operation."
-
-Marc jolted into action. Under Toffee's guidance, he lunged out the
-door and started down the hall.
-
-"Let's leave this place," Toffee said. "Let's go somewhere where we can
-have fun."
-
-"We can't leave like this," Marc said, indicating their brief attire.
-"We can't go out on the street half naked."
-
-"We can say we're artists' models on our way to work," Toffee said.
-"Come on."
-
-Marc didn't pause to debate the point as a cry from the operating room
-indicated that the doctors had recovered from their dismay with an
-urgent sense of loss.
-
-Together, he and Toffee began to run. They proceeded swiftly around a
-corner and down a flight of steps to the floor below. Suddenly Marc
-stopped.
-
-"What's wrong?" Toffee asked.
-
-"Listen," Marc said. "What's that?"
-
-Toffee listened. Descending footsteps sounded on the stairs behind
-them. She whirled about. The stairway was unoccupied.
-
-"George," she said disgustedly. "He's following us."
-
-The footsteps stopped guiltily.
-
-"Okay," Marc said, addressing himself to the empty stairs. "It's no use
-pretending you're not there. You might as well show yourself."
-
-A subdued hiccough echoed out of the emptiness, but that was the extent
-of George's communication.
-
-"If you're entertaining any notion of bumping me off so you can stay
-here," Marc warned, "just forget it. I'm alive and I intend to stay
-that way."
-
-"Just ignore him," Toffee said. "He's bound to get bored and go away if
-we refuse to pay any attention to him."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The discussion went no further, for suddenly there were sounds of
-approaching pursuit from above. Grabbing Toffee's arm, Marc raced
-ahead, down the hall and around another corner. A third set of
-footsteps continued to sound in their wake.
-
-"He's still with us," Toffee panted.
-
-"The vulture," Marc said. "He's just hoping they'll catch me. Run
-faster."
-
-Renewing their efforts, they left behind another stretch of corridor,
-turned another corner. There they stopped abruptly. Ahead a group of
-orderlies loomed before them.
-
-"That's them!" a young athletic type yelled. "That's Pillsworth!"
-
-"To hell with Pillsworth!" a companion responded. "Get the dame! She's
-practically all skin, just like they said!"
-
-Marc and Toffee darted back around the corner.
-
-"Surrounded!" Toffee panted. "I think that sums up the situation."
-
-"What'll we do?" Marc asked confusedly.
-
-Toffee pointed to a door marked JANITOR'S CLOSET. "In there," she said.
-"Quick!"
-
-They ran to the door, threw it open and darted inside just as their
-pursuers surged into view at either end of the hallway. They paused
-in the darkness to listen. As the sounds of the chase continued
-outside they turned their attention to their new surroundings. The
-air was close with the heady aroma of cleaning fluid, wax polish and
-disinfectant.
-
-"Isn't there a light in here?" Toffee asked.
-
-"I can't find one," Marc said. "I've looked all over."
-
-"Well," Toffee said, "at least it's a place to relax for a bit and
-catch our breath. I just wish it didn't smell so oppressively clean. I
-was hoping for a bit of dirt tonight--of the right sort, of course."
-
-"You stay on your side of the closet," Marc said, "and I'll stay on
-mine."
-
-"We'll never get anywhere that way," Toffee said. "Suppose Romeo had
-taken that attitude with Juliet?"
-
-"They'd both have lived a lot longer," Marc said.
-
-"I suspect that George is in here with us," Toffee said. "I fancy I
-hear him breathing back there amongst the mops and brooms."
-
-"I suppose he is," Marc said. There was a pause, followed by a number
-of rattling sounds. "What are you doing?"
-
-"There's a whole shelf of bottles over there," Toffee said. "I'm just
-sniffing about to see if there's anything interesting. And there is.
-The janitor has strong tastes. Irish whiskey, I should judge, by the
-jolt of it. Have some?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Marc paused, took note of the new vapors overriding those of the
-cleaning fluids.
-
-"Well," he said, "it is a little drafty in this nightgown."
-
-Toffee handed him the bottle in the darkness. "Bottoms," she said
-pleasantly.
-
-"The expression," Marc said sedately, "is bottoms up."
-
-"Up or down," Toffee said, "it doesn't matter. I was just tossing in
-bottoms at random. Assorted bottoms, so to speak. If you prefer them
-up, you'll get no argument out of me."
-
-There was a smacking sound as Marc lowered the bottle from his lips.
-"Let's just skip the bottoms," he said, "and go on to something else."
-
-"Sounds pretty giddy," Toffee mused, "all this leaping about over
-bottoms. However...."
-
-"Look outside," Marc suggested wearily, "and see if they're still out
-there."
-
-"Okay," Toffee said. A small shaft of light darted in and out of the
-closet as she opened the door and closed it again. "They're churning
-about like cattle in a loading chute," she reported. "Where are you?"
-
-"Sitting on the floor," Marc said. "I'm beginning to find this place
-restful."
-
-"You're beginning to stink of Irish whiskey," Toffee said. "Stop
-gulping at that bottle like a great fish and hand it back."
-
-"I wonder if we should offer George a drink?" Marc said with growing
-amiability. "I definitely heard him breathing back there just now.
-Sounds a trifle wheezy, I'm afraid."
-
-"I think we ought to banish George from our minds," Toffee said.
-"Besides, now that I've got the bottle back I don't intend to be free
-about handing it around for quite some time."
-
-"All right," Marc said. "Have it your way. George is banished."
-
-There was a prolonged period of contented silence, broken
-intermittently by faint gurgling sounds, first from one side of the
-closet then the other. It was Toffee who finally spoke.
-
-"By the way," she said, "what was all that nonsense about your getting
-yourself shot?"
-
-"Oh, that," Marc said negligently. "It's a bunch of subversives.
-They have a subtle plan to poison the minds of the public against
-the government--with the government's permission. I went on the air
-to expose them, but they had me shot to stop me. There was this dark
-fellow with a scar over his left eye in the control booth...." He
-paused. "Holy smoke! I forgot. This is serious business, isn't it?"
-
-"It sounds like it," Toffee said. "How far did you get in your
-broadcast?"
-
-"I didn't even get started. I suppose I ought to try to do it again."
-
-"If they think you're dead or dying, they won't be watching for you any
-more."
-
-"That's right," Marc said. "Let's get out of here."
-
-"Okay," Toffee said. "Just take your arms away from my waist so I can
-get up."
-
-"Huh?" Marc said. "I don't have my arms around your waist."
-
-"You haven't!" Toffee said. "Didn't you take the gadget from under my
-arm either?"
-
-"Of course not."
-
-"It's that sneaky George," Toffee snorted. "And when I think of how I
-was enjoying it...!" She turned in the darkness. "Let go of me before
-I lose my temper, George. So help me, you spurious spectre, I'll twist
-your head off when I get ahold of you."
-
-There was no answer but apparently the threat had taken hold; there
-were sounds of Toffee getting to her feet.
-
-"That'll hold him," she said. "Look outside and see how things are. I
-want that gadget back."
-
-Marc fumbled his way to the door, opened it a crack, then shoved it all
-the way open.
-
-"All clear," he said and turned back to Toffee. "Can you see him back
-there? Is he visible?"
-
-"I can just make him out," Toffee said, peering into the back of the
-closet. "He's sort of lurking."
-
-"Okay, you rat," Marc said. "Come out of there and give it to us. Snap
-into it."
-
-There were shuffling sounds from the shadows and slowly a figure
-emerged into the light. It was a dark, heavy figure. The face was
-swarthy and there was a scar over the left eye. The man leered at the
-two in the doorway.
-
-"Okay," he said. "Keep your shirts on. I'm going to give it to you all
-right. I'm going to give it to you good."
-
-He moved closer. In his left hand was Toffee's gadget, in his right an
-enormous revolver.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The swarthy man closed the door to the storeroom, locked it, and
-shaking his head, moved purposefully down the hallway to a door
-at the front of the warehouse. He stopped and knocked, and as an
-unintelligible grunt issued from inside, he opened the door and entered.
-
-"I got 'em," he announced.
-
-Across the room a portly gentleman with a white mane and great shaggy
-black eyebrows looked up from a sheaf of papers on the desk before him.
-
-"Them?" he said. "I told you just to pick up Pillsworth and finish him
-off."
-
-The swarthy man glanced away, embarrassed. "I couldn't finish him off,
-congressman. He wasn't even started. I went to the hospital, like you
-told me, to make sure about Pillsworth--and I was going along the hall
-lookin' for this place where they cut 'em up--and all of a sudden there
-was a racket like a lot of people runnin' around and yellin', so I
-ducked into this closet to keep under cover. Well, I was only in there
-a little bit when all of a sudden somebody yanks the door open and this
-guy and this dame come shaggin' in with hardly any clothes on. So I
-kept quiet and listened."
-
-"I'm not interested in the sordid doings behind the scenes at the
-hospital," Congressman Entwerp interrupted. "Stick to the pertinent
-facts."
-
-"Oh, no, it wasn't nothin' like that. I just listened and pretty soon
-it come up in what they were sayin' that this guy with the dame is none
-other than Pillsworth himself. And believe me, congressman, I can't
-explain it, but there ain't a thing wrong with him--physically."
-
-"Physically?" the congressman asked. "What do you mean?"
-
-"The guy's mentally a mess," the thug said. "So's this dame with him.
-She's a terrific lookin' little job, but crazy as a coot. It's a dirty
-shame."
-
-"How do you know they're crazy?"
-
-"Just ask Hank. He drove the car. All the way over from the hospital
-they kept talkin' to this guy who wasn't there, and bawlin' him out for
-followin' them everyplace. They called him George, and they carried on
-a regular conversation with him. It was weird, leave me tell you. But
-one thing, this guy George, whoever he is, is lucky he doesn't exist;
-the way that little dame kept tellin' him what she was going to do to
-him if he didn't show himself and help them out of this jam was enough
-to curl your hair. Pillsworth was all the time tellin' this imaginary
-character what a ghoul he was to be hangin' around just to see him get
-killed. They're both nuts, boss, an' no lie!"
-
-"Maybe it was just an act," Congressman Entwerp suggested skeptically.
-
-"I don't think so. You'd really have to feel mean to say some of the
-stuff those two was dishin' out to this George." The thug paused
-and withdrew Toffee's thought gadget from his pocket. "Look what I
-lifted off the dame in the closet." He placed it on the desk before
-the congressman. "She's plenty hot to get it back. You'd think it was
-somethin' worth somethin'."
-
-"What is it?"
-
-"I don't know. Some sort of two-way flashlight, I guess. Just a piece
-of junk."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The congressman bent his shaggy head close over the gadget and examined
-it minutely. He picked it up, weighed it in his hand, then shrugged and
-dropped it negligently into his pocket.
-
-"Let's have a look at these two crackpots," he said, rising from his
-chair. "We'll have to dispose of them, of course."
-
-"Okay," the thug said. "I just hope they've got things settled with
-this George before we get there."
-
-Back in the storeroom, however, events were lurching ahead in a most
-uncertain manner. Things had started with an air of mild strangeness
-and mounted swiftly to a state of wild-eyed madness.
-
-Finding themselves confined and in the hands of blood-thirsting
-murderers, Marc and Toffee had paused only momentarily to survey their
-musty prison, the cases of wines, brandies and whiskies stacked along
-the walls, before returning to the subject uppermost in their minds.
-Toffee, doubling her fists, addressed herself to the room at large.
-
-"George," she said evenly, "we know you're with us. You gave yourself
-away in the car when you let that foot materialize, and you'll give
-yourself away again. And when you do, brother, I'm going to kick your
-teeth out one at a time and have them made into shirt studs. I'm going
-to...!"
-
-"It's no use threatening him," Marc interrupted. "He's got the
-advantage. He's just hanging around waiting for me to be killed. And
-he'll probably have his way before they're done with us."
-
-In answer, a stifled yawn echoed from somewhere in back of them. Toffee
-whirled about.
-
-"Listen to him!" she fumed. "Now he's rubbing it in! That was the most
-put-on yawn I ever heard."
-
-She started forward, but Marc put out a hand to stop her. He drew her
-toward the corner.
-
-"Listen," he said in lowered tones, "I've just thought of something.
-Maybe we can trap him."
-
-"We certainly should be able to," Toffee agreed hotly. "George is pure
-rat, through and through. If we only had some cheese...."
-
-"What about whiskey?" Marc asked. "There's plenty of it here, and where
-George is concerned it's the best bait in the world."
-
-"I wonder why he hasn't been at it already?" Toffee said, surveying the
-crates along the walls. "The place is practically seething with the
-stuff."
-
-"He's too smart," Marc said. "He doesn't want to show where he is.
-By the time he opened a crate and got the bottle out we'd have him
-located. He's afraid we'd slug him."
-
-"Of course we'd slug him," Toffee said. "I personally intend to bop
-the living bejesus out of him at the very first opportunity. What
-difference does that make?"
-
-"He knows what we're after," Marc explained. "He knows we want him to
-show himself to these people so they won't know which one of us is me.
-And look what happened to George the last time he was knocked out."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Toffee looked up with a smile of understanding. "Of course!" she said.
-"He lost control of his ectoplasm and materialized."
-
-"Exactly," Marc said, "and it might happen again. Then it would not
-be just a matter of confusing them with the two of us. If George
-materialized we could leave him to take the rap all by himself."
-
-"Wonderful!" Toffee said. "Let's do it. It would serve everybody
-right. How do we trap him?"
-
-"It's simple," Marc said. "We open the crates and get the bottles out
-_for_ George. At first we pretend to forget about him; we sit around
-and act like we're swilling down whiskey by the gallon and having the
-time of our lives. This will drive George close to madness, locked in
-a room with two drinkers and no drop for himself. When we figure he's
-sufficiently worked up, we'll weaken and offer him a drink. He won't be
-able to resist. While one of us hands over his bottle, the other takes
-a fix on George's position and bashes the daylights out of him with
-this." Marc permitted himself a smile of pride. "You see?"
-
-"Marvelous," Toffee said. "I particularly love that part at the end,
-where George gets bashed. Can I be the basher?"
-
-"Okay," Marc agreed. "Let's go. And remember, act as though you've
-never enjoyed drinking anything so much in your whole life."
-
-With tremendous nonchalance, the two moved across the room to the
-stacked crates.
-
-"My, my," Marc said in a declamatory, radio announcer's tone, "what do
-you suppose we have here in all these interesting-looking crates?"
-
-"I should think," Toffee said on cue, "that they contain bottles of
-fine old tangy whiskey. Of course that's just a random guess, but I
-believe it's a shrewd one. Shall we have a look?"
-
-"Oh, let's!" Marc cried, with a false grin of eagerness. He turned
-slightly in what he presumed to be George's direction. "A drink of fine
-old tangy whiskey would certainly taste mighty good just now."
-
-"I can think of nothing better!" Toffee said, smacking her lips loudly.
-"My mouth fairly waters!"
-
-Marc reached one of the crates down and, placing it on the floor, pried
-up one of the slats. He reached out two bottles and handed one toward
-Toffee.
-
-"Well, well," he cried with studied joviality. "Look what I found!"
-
-Toffee clapped her hands after the manner of a witless child. "Oh,
-goody!" she gurgled. "Some of that wonderful fine old tangy whiskey!
-Just what I hoped for!" She took the bottle, opened it and took a
-swallow. She blanched and covered her face with her hand. "Ugh!" she
-rasped.
-
-"Yes, sir!" Marc said, lifting his bottle to his mouth. "Some of the
-finest, oldest and tangyest fine old tangy whiskey there is." He rolled
-his eyes in broad anticipation. "Yes, sir, bedad!"
-
-"It's a good thing you said that before you tasted the stuff," Toffee
-hissed between clenched teeth. "You'd never have the breath afterward."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The warning came too late; Marc had already downed a large swallow. He
-closed his eyes and gagged. Like Toffee, however, he forced a frozen
-smile through his tears and rubbed his stomach luxuriously. "Umm-umm,"
-he managed to say. "It sure hits the spot."
-
-"And leaves it in ruins," Toffee agreed. "They must cook this stuff up
-in old lye vats."
-
-"Keep drinking," Marc whispered urgently. "And look happy."
-
-"Okay," Toffee said grimly. "I'll die with a smile on my face, but
-it'll be the lie of the century." She lifted the bottle gamely and
-drank. "Oh, boy!" she rasped through drawn lips, "this whiskey is the
-answer to a drunkard's prayer."
-
-Marc drank dutifully in turn. "You said it!" he announced, tears
-streaming from his eyes. "It's delicious!"
-
-"I could go on drinking it forever," Toffee wheezed, taking another
-gulp and clutching her throat. "It's so smooth!"
-
-"Makes you want more and more," Marc said, shaking his head to clear it
-after a third libation. "It gives you a real boost."
-
-"Let's not carry it too far," Toffee whispered. "If I drink any more of
-this mange medicine I won't be able to hit the barnside of a broad."
-
-"Broadside of a barn," Marc corrected her weakly. "But you're right.
-We'd better make the pitch while we're still conscious."
-
-Toffee nodded and made a great show of registering happy inspiration.
-"Say," she cried, "you know who would just love this whiskey?"
-
-"No," Marc replied like the second part in a minstrel skit. "Who?"
-
-"George!" Toffee said. "You remember good old George?"
-
-Marc nodded vigorously. "Wouldn't he be just crazy about whiskey like
-this?"
-
-"He certainly would. Crazy mad, he'd be. Isn't it too bad he's not
-here?" Then Toffee brightened. "But perhaps he is! You never can tell
-about good old George."
-
-"But when we were talking to him earlier he didn't answer."
-
-"Perhaps he misunderstood something one of us said," Toffee suggested.
-"Maybe he didn't understand our type of humor and got offended. You
-know, like when I said I was going to gouge his eyes out? A harmless
-remark to most people, but perhaps not so to good old George."
-
-"True," Marc said sagely. "George always was sensitive." He glanced
-around the room. "George?" he called. "If you're here, old man, how
-about having a drink with us? If we said anything to hurt your feelings
-we certainly didn't mean to."
-
-He paused to listen. There was a hesitant shuffling across the room.
-
-"Well ..." a voice said uneasily.
-
-Marc and Toffee exchanged glances of triumph.
-
-"You mustn't miss out on this, old man," Marc cajoled. "You really
-mustn't."
-
-"And it will make such a nice friendly gesture," Toffee put in, "to
-show that you forgive us our thoughtless little jibes."
-
-"Well," the voice returned, a shade less hesitant. "I am a little dry."
-
-"Of course you are," Marc said jovially, "and we have the very thing to
-bring you comfort and contentment. Just step over here and I'll give
-you this whole bottle."
-
-"No tricks?" George asked warily.
-
-"George!" Toffee said, thoroughly scandalized, "how can you even
-entertain such a notion?"
-
-"Just to show you," Marc said, "why don't you stay invisible? You're
-perfectly safe that way."
-
-"Okay," George agreed. "Just hold out the bottle."
-
-"Right-oh," Marc said and turned to Toffee. "Give it everything," he
-whispered. Toffee nodded.
-
- * * * * *
-
-As Marc held out the bottle, Toffee sighted on the area in line with
-his hand, on the principle that George, being a duplicate of Marc, his
-head would be on the same level. The best strategy, she felt, was to
-concentrate on this area as swiftly and violently as possible. She held
-the bottle in readiness and when, a moment later, the bottle jogged in
-Marc's hand, she was prepared. She swung as hard as she could in a wide
-horizontal swipe. About half way, the bottle jarred to an abrupt stop
-and shattered, spewing liquid and glass in all directions. This was
-subsequently followed by a surprised moan and a heavy thudding sound in
-the vicinity of the floor.
-
-"Got him!" Toffee cried jubilantly. "Smashed him right on the button!"
-She dropped the jagged neck of the bottle daintily to the floor.
-
-"He's still invisible," Marc said worriedly. "I hope there'll be
-developments."
-
-Developments came almost immediately, and they were well worth
-watching, though hardly the sight for sore eyes. Marc's calculations
-had been correct. Surprised, as it were, into unconsciousness, George
-had completely lost control of his ectoplasm. The trouble, though,
-was that instead of splashing out through his body all of a piece, it
-trickled out in fits and starts.
-
-What appeared on the floor, under Marc's and Toffee's watchful eyes,
-was not George in total, but a sort of jig-saw George in which many
-of the vital pieces had been omitted. While one could be grateful for
-George's head, there was bound to be a pang of regret for the neck
-which had failed to appear.
-
-An arm lay to the left, with only a finger or two to indicate that it
-had once blossomed a hand. Had there ever been an expression to the
-effect that half a torso was better than none, George had disproved
-it beyond measure; a torso, apparently severed from the collar bone
-to the mid-riff was so much worse than no torso at all as to be
-positively hair-raising. A random foot here, an errant knee cap there
-only garnished the over-all picture of hideous human butchery. With a
-shudder of revulsion, Toffee turned from the awful sight.
-
-"Leave it to George," she said, "just leave it to that monster to be as
-revolting as possible."
-
-"I don't suppose it's really his fault," Marc said fairly, "but I wish
-he were invisible again."
-
-It was at this moment that the congressman and his henchman, having
-completed their discussion in the front of the warehouse, arrived at
-the door of the storeroom and fitted a key to the lock.
-
-"Duck!" Toffee said. "Get behind those crates!"
-
-"What about you?"
-
-"I'm going to get my invention back. Besides they can't hurt me, and
-the important thing is to give you a chance to escape."
-
-"Okay," Marc nodded and faded into the dimness behind the crates.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Toffee moved to the nearest stack of boxes, boosted herself atop them
-and leaned back in an attitude of relaxed languor. She watched from
-the corner of her eye as the door swung open and the congressman and
-the thug advanced into the room. She lifted her gaze dreamily to the
-ceiling and began to hum quietly to herself.
-
-"There she is, boss," the thug said. "There's the dame, up there."
-
-"My word!" Congressman Entwerp said. "Where did Pillsworth ever pick
-her up?"
-
-"In a Turkish bath, I guess, before they passed out the towels."
-
-Toffee turned slowly and observed the two with heavy disdain.
-
-"Please be quiet," she drawled, "you're disturbing my meditations."
-
-"Where's Pillsworth?" the thug asked.
-
-Toffee shrugged. "Somewhere around, I suppose."
-
-"Okay, sister," the thug growled, "cut out the jazz. Where is he?"
-
-"You're sure you want to know?"
-
-"We insist," Congressman Entwerp said.
-
-"Then just step nearer," Toffee said with an airy wave, "and feast your
-eyes. You will find Mr. Pillsworth--more or less--on the floor, just to
-the right of these boxes. I'm sure you'll excuse him if he doesn't rise
-to greet you."
-
-Warily, the two men edged closer. Then suddenly the thug, catching
-sight of George in his disconnected condition, stopped short. His mouth
-worked soundlessly, and his eyes rolled loosely in their sockets. The
-congressman, not yet aware of George, looked at him.
-
-"What's the matter with you?" he asked shortly. "Why are you standing
-there making faces? Stop that and...!"
-
-The tirade ended abruptly as the congressman's gaze fell to George. He
-lost his breath in a thin wheeze.
-
-For a long moment the two men simply goggled, then slowly they turned
-away.
-
-"You fool!" the congressman screamed. "I only told you to finish him
-off, not to hack him up into cutlets!"
-
-"But I didn't!" the thug said shakenly. "He was all right when I locked
-him in here."
-
-"Then, who...!"
-
-Together, the two of them turned and regarded Toffee with incredulous
-eyes. Toffee returned their stares with innocent directness.
-
-"Yes, gentlemen?" she murmured.
-
-"Did you...?" the congressman began, then broke off with a shudder.
-
-"Did I what?" Toffee asked demurely.
-
-"What the congressman means," the thug said in a whisper, "is did
-you ... do _that_?"
-
-"Oh, that," Toffee said. She returned her gaze thoughtfully to the
-ceiling as though trying to remember. Finally she shook her head. "No,"
-she said. "I'm certain that's not one of my jobs. Too messy."
-
-The men gaped.
-
-"Holy smoke!" the thug quavered. "What happened to him?"
-
-"Who knows?" Toffee shrugged. "Maybe he has some horrible disease. I
-figure it's his business."
-
-"Good God!" the congressman breathed. "We've got to get him off our
-hands. We'll have to be careful, though. The hospital has the entire
-police force out looking for him. It's on the radio. If we were caught
-with him in that condition the party wouldn't like it."
-
-"Nobody would like it," the thug said. "Shall we dump him in the river?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The congressman shook his head. "Too many patrolmen around. There must
-be...." His voice trailed off into thoughtful silence. Finally he
-nodded with decision. "We won't try to hide him. We'll deliver him to
-the police just as he is--in an automobile crash. The girl too."
-
-"Huh?" the thug said. "How do you mean?"
-
-"It's simple enough. Pillsworth looks like a crash victim, so why don't
-we just let him be one? Go get a sack or something to carry him out
-in." He turned and moved toward the door. "I'll have Hank fix up one of
-the cars."
-
-"Good night, boss," the thug said plaintively, following after him,
-"you mean I've got to pick him up--with my hands!"
-
-The moment they were gone, locking the door after them, Toffee jumped
-down from her perch and Marc appeared from the shadows.
-
-"Do you know who that was?" Marc asked excitedly.
-
-"The old bird with the sable hair-do?"
-
-Marc nodded. "It's Congressman Entwerp. I should have known he was
-behind this mess. And that isn't all; those crates of cheap whiskey are
-just a front. Underneath there's enough bacteria culture to wipe out
-the whole country. These boys are planning mass murder!"
-
-"Also individual murder," Toffee said.
-
-"What?"
-
-"They're going to arrange an auto crash. When the wreckage is sorted
-out George and I will be prominent amongst the demolished extras."
-
-"Good grief!"
-
-"It's nothing to worry about," Toffee said. "After all, they can't
-possibly kill me--or George either, for that matter. In the meantime
-you can contact the police and see that they're arrested. There's
-just one thing though; you're going to have to get the police without
-letting the police get you."
-
-"Huh?"
-
-"It seems the entire force is out scouring the city for you, and I get
-the impression that they're supposed to rush you along to the operating
-room without messing around with any conversation."
-
-"Golly," Marc said. "How am I going to work it? Even if I get a chance
-to tell them about Entwerp, they'll just think I'm delirious."
-
-"Be your own bait," Toffee suggested. "Entwerp will be busy murdering
-George and me. All you have to do is get the cops to chase you to
-the scene of the crime so they can catch him red-handed. I'll see to
-it that the door's left unlocked long enough for you to get out of
-here...." She stopped as the key sounded again in the lock. "Anyway,
-work it out as you go along, and I'll see you later..."
-
- * * * * *
-
-"What took so long?" the congressman demanded. He was standing by the
-green sedan, holding the door open.
-
-"It was the dame," the thug said breathlessly. "When I turned to lock
-up the storeroom, she let out a yip and took off. I had to chase her
-all over the joint before I caught her."
-
-At his side, Toffee shook her head to get the hair out of her eyes. "I
-just wanted a little exercise to get up the circulation," she said.
-
-"We certainly circulated," the thug agreed sourly. "All over the place."
-
-"You didn't leave the storeroom open?" the congressman asked.
-
-"I went back and locked it."
-
-"I see you got Pillsworth in the car."
-
-"Yeah," the thug said. "But he handled awful funny, like he was all
-strung together with invisible wire. I had a job spreadin' him out in
-the seat."
-
-The congressman looked at him sharply. "You've probably been drinking
-that dummy whiskey again," he said. "Anyway, let's get going. The girl
-will have to drive."
-
-"I don't know how to drive," Toffee said. "Besides, I haven't got a
-license."
-
-"Never mind, sister," the thug said, "that's even better." He nudged
-her toward the door of the car, as the congressman moved off into the
-night. Toffee gazed inward at the dismembered George sprawled across
-the seat.
-
-"Do I have to get in there with him?" she asked.
-
-"The boss doesn't want you to be lonesome," the thug said.
-
-"I'd rather be lonesome," Toffee said, but she got into the car anyway.
-
-The thug closed the door after her and leaned through the window.
-
-"Just so you'll know," he said, "I'd better explain. This car hasn't
-any brakes, and the steering is fixed. It's okay now, but after a few
-minutes it will break and the car will be out of control. We have it
-timed out with the curve at the end of the speedway, the one called
-Dead Man's Curve. By the time you reach that the wheel will be just
-about as much good to you as a set of knitting needles. In other words,
-you're going to drive due south with your foot to the floor and crack
-up on the curve. No one's missed that curve yet and lived."
-
-"There's always a first time," Toffee said brightly.
-
-"Don't count on it, sugar. And just to make sure you do what you're
-told, the congressman and me will be alongside in the congressman's
-car. I personally will be holding a rod aimed at your head, so don't
-get notions. Also, we want to be around to report the accident."
-
-Toffee nodded approvingly. "It only seems the sort of thing any good
-citizen would do," she said.
-
-The gunman stared at her. "Too bad a good looking dame like you has to
-be so wacky."
-
-"We all have our little flaws," Toffee said chattily. "That's life."
-
-"Aren't you even worried?"
-
-Toffee shook her head. "I've always wanted to learn to drive," she
-said, smiling.
-
-"Oh, my God!" the thug moaned. "Maybe, it's best; you're sure to kill
-yourself sooner or later anyway."
-
-"Of course," Toffee said, patting his hand. "I don't want you to blame
-yourself. Just consider you're doing a public service."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Meanwhile, a lanky figure had emerged warily from the warehouse and
-was lurking, in a twitchy sort of way, in the dimness of the alley.
-Obscured in shadow, Marc had watched Toffee get into the green sedan,
-the thug instructing her in the art of driving. He glanced anxiously
-down the street, praying for a police car.
-
-A small coupe, with a man and woman inside, pulled up to the curb at
-the end of the block, and the man got out and disappeared into the
-telegraph office on the corner. But that was all.
-
-Marc jumped as he heard the green sedan start up. He turned to see a
-black limousine, driven by the congressman, pull up beside it. The
-thug crossed and got inside and a moment later the barrel of a gun
-caught light from the window. Time was seeping out.
-
-Ducking from cover, Marc raced for the coupe and the waiting woman on
-the corner. Reaching it, he threw the door open and jumped inside. The
-woman, a faded blonde, pressed back against the seat with a startled
-cry. Marc, however, was too relieved at finding the key in the ignition
-to notice.
-
-He started the car, threw it into gear and set it in motion almost in
-a single action. The woman's reaction to this was a shrill, braying
-scream.
-
-"Please," Marc said distractedly. "Don't." The woman screamed again.
-"Do you have to do that?" he asked annoyedly.
-
-"I have to do something, don't I?" the woman enquired wretchedly. "I
-can't just sit here, can I?"
-
-"I don't see why not," Marc said, peering down the street intently. "It
-doesn't help anything to scream like that."
-
-"It helps me plenty," the woman retorted hotly. "When naked men come
-leaping into a lady's car and driving her off to God knows what, it
-gives her a great satisfaction to scream." As though to prove her point
-she paused to scream again. "Anyway, it makes her feel a hell of a lot
-better."
-
-"I don't see why," Marc said with rising irritation.
-
-"Well, put yourself in my place," the woman snapped. "What would you
-do if a naked man came leaping into your car?"
-
-"Naked men don't leap into my car." Marc said self-righteously. "I
-wouldn't let them."
-
-"Are you suggesting that I invite naked men to come leaping into my
-car?" the woman asked frigidly. "I'll have you know...."
-
-"The way you carry on about it," Marc said, "one just automatically
-draws his own conclusions. One pictures a whole procession of naked men
-just waiting their turn to leap into your car, you're such an authority
-on these occasions."
-
- * * * * *
-
-For a moment the blonde fell into a sulky silence. She glanced out the
-window at the rapidly passing scenery.
-
-"What I want to know," she said at length, "is what is my husband going
-to say."
-
-"Not knowing your husband," Marc said, "I'm in no position to guess. If
-I were you I'd judge by the way he's expressed himself on other similar
-occasions."
-
-"There you go again," the woman said, "insulting me. Where are you
-taking me?"
-
-"I'm not taking you anywhere," Marc said. "I'm taking myself. You just
-happened to be here."
-
-"Oh," the woman said, not, it seemed, without a touch of
-disappointment. There was another lapse of silence.
-
-"Do you know where there's a cop?" Marc asked, after a few more blocks.
-
-"If I did," the woman said, "I'd be with him instead of you. What do
-you want with a cop?"
-
-"I've got to find one," Marc said anxiously. "It means everything."
-
-By this time the woman had resigned herself to the unhappy fact that
-she was out for a spin with a raving lunatic. She nodded sagely, as
-though agreeing with this last remark entirely.
-
-"Sure," she said, "sometimes I feel that way myself. Cops are
-everything. It just sweeps over me all of a heap."
-
-"What sweeps over you?" Marc asked absently.
-
-"Cops," the woman said.
-
-"Do you think you ought to be making these little confessions to a
-total stranger?" Marc asked distastefully. "Or do you mean your husband
-is a cop?"
-
-"Of course not," the woman said. "My husband is a butcher. What's that
-got to do with it? I was just saying that sometimes cops just seem to
-surge over me." She giggled with nervous desperation. "A sort of blue
-serge, you might say."
-
-"Well," Marc said, "since you seem to know all these cops so well, you
-ought to be able to tell me where they hang out."
-
-"I don't know all these cops," the woman said.
-
-"You mean they're a bunch of total strangers?" Marc asked, thoroughly
-shocked. "My word!"
-
-"Couldn't we just drop the subject?" the woman asked defeatedly. "I'm
-all confused somehow."
-
-"I should think you would be confused," Marc agreed. His voice trailed
-away on a rising inflection as he spotted a police car parked at the
-curb across the street. "Cops!" he breathed. He glanced ahead. "You see
-that green sedan up ahead with the black limousine beside it?"
-
-The woman nodded vaguely. "The one that just cut up over the sidewalk?
-What about it?"
-
-"Keep your eye on it," Marc instructed, "while I get the cop's
-attention. It's a matter of life and death."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The green sedan, as it turned out, was eminently worth keeping an
-eye on. Toffee, beleaguered as she was with the mechanics of keeping
-the vehicle in motion, had come upon other problems. Early in the
-game, feeling vague stirrings at her side, she had looked around to
-see George's dismembered head yawn thickly and open its eyes. Then,
-as if this wasn't loathsome enough, a set of fingers wriggled to the
-edge of the seat, gripped it and boosted the halved torso around so
-that the disjointed feet dropped to the floor. George, rising from
-unconsciousness had hauled himself into a sitting position. Toffee
-looked on this development without favor.
-
-"Stay down, George," she hissed. "Get back where you were."
-
-The head swiveled around hideously, a wounded look in its eyes.
-
-"Oh, it's you, is it?" he said sadly. "You hit me."
-
-"And I'll hit you again," Toffee promised, "if you don't get down."
-
-George merely looked baffled at this. "Where are we goin'?" he asked.
-
-"To an accident," Toffee said.
-
-George's face brightened. "Was Marc in it?" he asked.
-
-"It hasn't happened yet," Toffee explained. "We're going to be in it,
-you and I. In fact, we're the whole accident."
-
-"Huh?" George said, edging up a bit. "Us?"
-
-"That's right," Toffee nodded. "They figure we know too much."
-
-"Too much about what?"
-
-"About this subversive business," Toffee said. "They think we know
-their plan to overthrow the government."
-
-"So they're going to kill us in an accident?"
-
-"Uh-huh."
-
-"Aren't you scared?"
-
-Toffee shrugged. "Why should I be? I'm a product of Marc's mind. I
-can't possibly be destroyed unless he is. And he's perfectly safe."
-
-"He is?" George said, his voice heavy with disappointment. "Why don't
-these people want to kill him?"
-
-"They think they are killing him," Toffee said. "They think you're
-Marc. In fact they believe you're already dead."
-
-"What!" George cried. "You mean I'm acting as a decoy to save Marc's
-life?"
-
-Toffee nodded smugly. "Some onions, eh, George?"
-
-"Stop the car!" George shouted. "Let me out!"
-
-"No brakes," Toffee said. She nodded toward the limousine. "Besides,
-they won't let me. You'd better get down in the seat or they'll think
-it's funny."
-
-"I hope they do," George said sullenly. "I hope they think it's funny
-as hell and do something about it. It's so damned unfair." And with
-that he leaned across Toffee, jutted his head out the window and began
-baying in the direction of the limousine.
-
-"Stop that!" Toffee said. "It sounds awful."
-
- * * * * *
-
-George swiveled his frightful head around in her direction. "It
-should," he said. "It's the _Torment Lament_. I learned it in the
-Moaning Chorus and it's guaranteed to drive you mad in nothing flat."
-He turned back to the night and the limousine and sent his voice
-wailing into the wind.
-
-It was an effort that was not lost on its audience. The occupants of
-the limousine looked around sharply with horrified eyes.
-
-"Jesus in Heaven!" the thug gasped.
-
-At his side the congressman was so taken with the fearsome recital that
-he completely forgot he was driving. As the car careened dangerously,
-the thug reached out and pulled the wheel.
-
-"Isn't it awful, boss?" he breathed.
-
-"Awful doesn't begin to tell it," the congressman choked. "It's--it's
-_awful_!"
-
-"Yeah. That's what I mean to say."
-
-"How can anything sound like that?" the congressman asked hauntedly.
-
-"If it can look like that," the thug said, "I guess it shouldn't have
-no trouble soundin' like that."
-
-"And look at that girl, will you? She's actually talking to the filthy
-thing."
-
-"She looks plenty hot under the collar."
-
-"Why not? I'd be sore as hell myself."
-
-"When do we get to the curve, boss?"
-
-"I don't know," the congressman said. "But I can't wait. The sooner
-that car crashes and takes that frightful thing with it the better."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Meanwhile, as the two cars skidded and reeled toward the appointed spot
-of disaster, Marc continued to loiter several blocks behind. Having
-deliberately cut across traffic in the middle of the block, he pulled
-up beside the police car and leaned out the window.
-
-"I just cut across traffic!" he called out.
-
-The cop behind the wheel left his conversation with his companion and
-observed Marc dubiously.
-
-"So what?" he asked. "You want me to give you a gold star on your
-driver's license?"
-
-"I don't have a driver's license," Marc offered hopefully. "What are
-you going to do about it, you big, thick-headed slob?"
-
-The cop turned back to his partner. "A kidder, we've got here," he
-said. He turned back to Marc. "Beat it, comedian, you and your girl
-friend take off."
-
-"Aren't you going to chase me?" Marc asked. "I'm a lawbreaker."
-
-"Move along, chum," the cop drawled, "before I sell you a ticket to the
-orphan's picnic."
-
-"But you've _got_ to chase me," Marc said urgently.
-
-"No I don't, friend," the cop said. "I've got to sit here and listen
-for radio leads on this goofy Pillsworth guy."
-
-"But that's me!" Marc said. "I'm Pillsworth!"
-
-The cop looked at him with forced patience. "Sure, sure," he said. "And
-I'm Miss Atlantic City. Beat it." He turned back to his companion.
-
-"What if I told you I knew where a murder was going to happen?" Marc
-ventured.
-
-The cop looked around. "You're just full of news, aren't you?" he said,
-and turned away again.
-
-For a moment Marc sat in silent indecision. Then he turned to the
-blonde.
-
-"Why don't you scream?" he asked.
-
-"Why should I?" the woman asked interestedly. "Do you really know where
-a murder's going to happen?"
-
-"You said screaming made you feel good," Marc suggested.
-
-"I feel fine," the woman said. "I always do with a lot of stuff going
-on. Who's going to get murdered?"
-
-Marc glanced desperately from the woman to the cops and back again. A
-determined look came into his eyes. He cautiously extended two fingers
-to the woman's thigh. "I'm sorry," he said, and pinched as hard as he
-could.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The results were everything to be wished for--and more. Stiffening in
-her seat, the woman let out a bleat that surpassed even her previous
-efforts. Even George might have envied the torment in her voice as it
-soared, swooped, scaled the heights and dipped into soul-shattering
-depths. At its completion, the blonde turned and took a clawing swipe
-at Marc's face.
-
-Marc ducked. "That's the stuff!" he said happily, noting from the
-corner of his eye that he had finally gained the undivided attention
-of the police force. Pinching the blonde again and nodding his
-satisfaction at the second chorus, he threw the coupe into gear, cut
-across traffic and headed down the speedway. It was only a moment
-before the wail of a siren mingled with the shrill vocalizations of
-his companion. He pushed the gas feed to the floor.
-
-To the witnesses along the speedway, the pedestrians, the vendors, the
-shop owners and just plain malingerers, the events of the evening were
-never entirely clear. Some, judging simply by the volume of noise,
-settled for the notion that what had passed was nothing more than an
-overly exuberant wedding procession. The sticklers, however, rejected
-this notion flatly, pointing to the significant details of the affair.
-
-Which, they demanded to know, was the wedding couple? Certainly it
-couldn't have been the redhead and the wailing man in the green sedan;
-certainly no bride--or at least very few--had ever used that kind
-of language to her groom on the wedding night. And it took the most
-wretched husband years to achieve the note of despair which this poor
-fellow was loosing on the evening air.
-
-As for the black limousine, that was out. Though its occupants seemed
-locked together in some sort of mad embrace, the arrangement appeared
-to have its roots in terror rather than affection.
-
-The couple in the coupe that followed was even more difficult to wedge
-into the picture of the young couple united. After all, wasn't she
-screaming her lungs out and hammering on his head with both fists?
-
-As for the police who followed--and they probably knew the truth of the
-matter--they looked shocked to the core. So there simply wasn't any
-answer for it until the morning papers came out.
-
-The participants in the demented chase along the speedway, however,
-were far too engrossed in their own problems to care for the conflict
-they introduced into the lives of innocent bystanders. Toffee, for one,
-could not have been less concerned; she was too mad at George.
-
-"Stop that caterwauling!" she yelled. "Stop it, you idiot."
-
- * * * * *
-
-George pulled his disconnected head inside the window and eyed Toffee
-owlishly. His other parts adjusted themselves and the head sank into
-Toffee's lap. There, gazing up at her, it lazily crossed its eyes and
-began to whimper piteously.
-
-"Ugh!" Toffee cried. "I'll go mad!"
-
-The head relaxed its face obligingly into an expression of
-feeble-minded delight, letting its tongue loll loosely from the corner
-of its mouth.
-
-"That's all!" Toffee screamed. "I'm getting out of here!"
-
-Without further consideration for the occupants of the limousine and
-the approaching curve, she relinquished the wheel, threw the car door
-open, and with one last agonized glance at the loathsome head, which
-was now foaming prettily at the mouth, prepared to depart its company.
-In the limousine this bit of action was not unobserved.
-
-"She's trying to get away!" the congressman yelled. "Stop her!"
-
-The thug turned to the window and looked. "Get back!" he hollered. "Get
-back or I'll blast you!"
-
-"Go ahead," Toffee cried. "It'll be a positive pleasure next to what
-I've just been through."
-
-"Okay!" the thug said grimly. "You asked for it!"
-
-His finger closed down on the trigger. It was just at that moment,
-however, that the green sedan, no longer benefitted by a driver,
-swerved toward the limousine, throwing Toffee back inside. The
-congressman cramped the wheel of the limousine sharply to avoid a
-crash. The gunman, thrown sharply against the door, fired wildly into
-the night. From the rear there was the sound of screeching tires and
-forced brakes.
-
-"Good night!" the congressman panted, righting the limousine as the
-green sedan veered away again. "What did you hit?"
-
-"I think it was that coupe back there," the thug said, peering out the
-window. "I must have hit a tire: it's out of control."
-
-"Good Lord!" the congressman yelled, "the curve's right ahead! We're
-pinned in between them. We're going to crash. Everybody's going to
-crash!"
-
-No sooner was this dire prediction out of the congressman's mouth than
-it became a deafening reality. Ahead, the green sedan raced headlong
-into the concrete embankment with a rending smash and almost literally
-flattened itself into two dimensions.
-
-This was the signal for the two lesser crashes that followed. The
-limousine engaged its radiator forcibly into the wreckage just in time
-to receive a skidding broadside from the coupe.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A moment of silence followed, emphasized by the approaching scream of a
-siren. The police car jolted to a stop and the two cops ran forward to
-the scene of destruction. They reached the coupe first.
-
-"Here!" the first cop said. "What's going on?"
-
-The faded blonde jutted her head out of the window. "He blew out my
-tire!" she rasped. "Not to mention all that pinching!"
-
-"Pinching?" the cop asked curiously. "What kind of pinching, lady?
-Where?"
-
-"All kinds of pinching," the woman said evilly. "Everywhere."
-
-The cop peered at Marc. "Why's he dressed in that nightshirt?"
-
-"How should I know?" the woman said. "Maybe he thinks he's cute or
-something."
-
-The cop leaned closer. "Here, you," he said, "why are you dressed like
-that?"
-
-"I'm tired," Marc said exhaustedly, "and I want to go to bed. I had a
-little drink about an hour ago...."
-
-"Stop that now," the cop barked. "No nonsense."
-
-"But it's all perfectly true," Marc said.
-
-The cop started to speak further, but he caught sight of the
-congressman and his companion climbing out of the limousine and tore
-himself away.
-
-"There are people dying in that car!" the congressman shouted
-tragically, hurrying forward. "It's awful, officer!"
-
-"All maimed and cut up," the thug put in. "Loose heads and legs and
-stuff all over the place."
-
-"Have you seen them?" the policeman asked.
-
-"Well, they must be," the congressman put in quickly. "How could it be
-otherwise? The man in the car is Marc Pillsworth. I saw him just before
-the crash."
-
-The policeman did a take. "Yeah?"
-
-"Sure," the thug said excitedly. "Only now he's all cut up--loose head
-and arms and...!"
-
-"Shut up," the congressman snapped.
-
-"They might still be alive," the cop said. "We've got to do something
-about it."
-
-"Indeed we do," the congressman said. "Perhaps we can assist them."
-
-"Come on," the cop said. "You can give a hand."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Dutifully the three turned to the sedan. They turned and then stopped
-with a harmonized gasp, the cop taking the bass. In the moment of
-their turning there had been a sudden movement in the car and the
-door had swung partially open. In the opening there appeared a leg of
-provocative shapeliness.
-
-"A leg!" the thug shuddered. "I told you!"
-
-"A dame's leg," the cop breathed. "And just think what the rest of her
-must have been like with a leg like that! Just imagine...!" He sucked
-in his breath as the leg began to show unexpected signs of life. It
-quivered, turned and was quickly joined by a mate of equal perfection.
-It was only a moment before Toffee appeared in total, quite unmarked.
-Her mood, however, was hostile. Quitting the ruined car she turned back
-to the door and thrust her head inside.
-
-"Of all the beastly, rotten, evil-minded, stinking things to do to a
-girl!" she snapped. "Come out of there you slimy-souled son of Satan
-and fight like a man. I'll teach you to make foul passes at a girl when
-she is stuck under a clutch. I'll show you...!"
-
-"Good gosh!" the cop said. "Who's she talking to?"
-
-"She must be hysterical," the congressman said, thoroughly shaken.
-"Probably got a crack on the head and isn't accountable for what she's
-saying."
-
-"That's certainly no way to talk to the dead," the cop said.
-
-"It's no way to talk to the living," the thug said. "If she hauled off
-at me like that I'd rather be dead."
-
-"The poor child's obviously insane," the congressman said firmly.
-"There's no question about it."
-
-Meanwhile Toffee was still at it. "Come out of there, you hulking
-lout," she grated, "before I come in there and drag you out by your
-ears!"
-
-"Poor little thing," the cop said sadly. "She really believes Mr.
-Pillsworth can come out of that car. She refuses to believe he's dead."
-
-By now Toffee had stepped forward and yanked the door all the way
-open. As the three in the background stared in varying degrees of
-apprehension, a thin figure in a brief linen gown crawled out on its
-hands and knees. The congressman swayed slightly as though about to
-faint.
-
-"You look more natural down on all fours, you beast," Toffee rasped.
-"I ought to kick you right in the slats. Get up and try to face me if
-you've the nerve!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Apparently the shock of the accident had given George's ectoplasm a
-further jolt for now he was completely materialized. He looked up at
-Toffee ruefully and got to his feet.
-
-"I was only trying to get you loose," he said.
-
-"The way you were pawing me was enough to get any girl loose," Toffee
-said. "Just don't try it again."
-
-"Gawd a'mighty!" the thug whispered. "Pillsworth!"
-
-"Pillsworth?" the cop said. "But that's the same guy who was pinching
-the other dame in the coupe. My gosh! how he gets around!"
-
-Just then the other policeman, who had retreated to the background,
-arrived on the scene with Marc and the blonde in custody.
-
-"Hey," he said, "I caught this creep on the creep. He was trying to
-sneak out."
-
-The cop looked quickly at Marc, then back to George. "It's the same
-guy!" he said. "Which one of you birds is Pillsworth?"
-
-Marc and George went smoothly into their routine of pointing to each
-other in unison.
-
-"He is!" they said.
-
-The cop turned to Toffee. "Do you know which is which?" he asked.
-
-"Sure," Toffee said and nodded at George. "He's Pillsworth."
-
-"She's crazy," George retorted hotly. "She's as crazy as bedbugs in a
-bathtub."
-
-"That's right," the thug put in. "She's a looney if there ever was one."
-
-Marc moved urgently to gain the cop's attention. "You've got to arrest
-that man," he said, pointing at the congressman. "He's a subversive and
-a murderer."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The congressman whirled about. "You must be insane, sir!" he rasped in
-frantic denial.
-
-"_You_ must be," Marc said. "You must have been ripe for the hatch
-years ago."
-
-"You're a fine one to talk," the blonde put in nastily. "Officer, this
-man is off his rocker like a busted hobby horse. He's done nothing but
-pinch me ever since we met."
-
-Toffee levelled her gaze at Marc. "What were you doing pinching that
-tomato?" she demanded. "Just what were you getting at?"
-
-"Oh, don't be crazy," Marc said distractedly.
-
-"Oh, so I'm crazy, am I?" Toffee said, doubling her fists.
-
-"You sure are, sister," the thug put in. "You're the most hopped up
-dame I ever saw." He turned to the cop. "She ought to be locked up."
-
-"Oh, yeah?" Toffee said. "At least I didn't put anyone in a busted car
-and send them off to get killed. Officer, I want you to arrest that
-killer."
-
-"Look, officer," Marc insisted, "you've got to take this man into
-custody. He's a menace to the whole country."
-
-"If you take anyone in, officer," the blonde put in harshly, "make it
-this skinny bimbo. Pinch him like he pinched me."
-
-The congressman moved in aggressively toward Marc. "You're making
-slanderous accusations!" he blustered. "You should be committed to an
-institution!"
-
-"You're crazy!" Marc raged.
-
-"_You're_ crazy!" the blonde screeched.
-
-"_You're_ crazy!" Toffee hollered at the blonde.
-
-"_You're_ crazy!" the thug insisted moodily.
-
-The cop turned dizzily to his companion and held out a palsied hand.
-"Hurry!" he pleaded, "call the wagon, and let's take the whole bunch of
-them in. In another minute _I'm_ going to be crazy!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The morning sun poured through the high windows of the courtroom,
-wasting its brightness on a scene of sullen dementia. Judge Carper's
-heavy face had achieved a shade of dyspeptic vermillion in record time
-this morning. Even the flies clung to the walls in muted terror as his
-gavel banged on the substantial wood of the bench and set the room
-atremble.
-
-"Silence!" the judge roared. "Silence, damnit! And if one more
-defendant makes just one more crack about the sanity of any other
-defendant I'll lock the whole crew of you up and melt the key down for
-a watch fob." He ran his shaking hand over his forehead. "Besides, so
-far I don't even know which ones of you are the defendants and which
-are the complainants." He turned to the policeman. "Do you know?"
-
-"I'm not sure," the cop admitted uneasily. "I think they're all both."
-
-"Both what?" the judge asked confusedly.
-
-"Both defendants and complainants. As far as I can tell everybody's mad
-as hell at everybody else. It sort of goes around in a circle."
-
-"And I'm burned up at the lot of them," the judge said malignantly.
-"Who are those two over there without any clothes on?"
-
-"I think they lost their clothes in the crash," the cop said vaguely.
-"The guy is really two guys, so it's hard to tell."
-
-"What?"
-
-"There are really two guys like that," the cop said. "Dressed alike."
-
-The judge peered across at Marc with deep speculation. "I only see one
-of him," he said dryly.
-
-"The other one disappeared," the cop said, casting down his eyes.
-"He--well, sort of evaporated."
-
-"Evaporated? What are you talking about?"
-
-"It's a fact, your honor. It happened on the way in. The only way I can
-explain it is that one minute he was there and the next he just sort of
-melted away."
-
-"Rooney," the judge said, "have you lost your wits?"
-
-"It wouldn't surprise me, judge," the cop sighed. "Everyone else has.
-Why not me?"
-
-"There's only one man there, Rooney," the judge said harshly. "And
-judging by those skinny legs of his, maybe not even that."
-
-"Yes, sir."
-
-"Are you bucking for another vacation, Rooney, is that it?"
-
-"Well, your honor, I do feel tired. It seemed to come over me all of a
-sudden, after I ran into all those people."
-
-"All right, we'll see what can be done. In the meantime let's have
-no more of this falderol about one man being two, only one of them
-evaporated."
-
- * * * * *
-
-"Yes, your honor," Rooney said, greatly saddened. "There's only one
-man. I guess I was mistaken."
-
-"Or drunk," the judge murmured sourly and turned his gaze to the
-assortment before him. "Now what happened with this gang?"
-
-"They were all in a wreck that involved three cars. The young lady in
-the underskirt was driving the first one. She claims that the dark man
-with the scar tried to murder her by forcing her to drive a car with a
-broken steering gear."
-
-"What does he say?"
-
-"He says the young lady is mentally unstable and of low character. It
-seems that he and the congressman observed her in the car for some time
-before the crash. They say that her behavior was most erratic, that she
-wailed and shrieked and at one point tried to abandon the car in full
-motion."
-
-"How else can you abandon a car?" the judge said sharply. "You have to
-be in full motion."
-
-"I mean the car was in full motion."
-
-"I see. Where was this gentleman and the congressman while they were
-doing all this observing?"
-
-"They were in the second car. The congressman was driving. The dark man
-is his body-guard. He was cleaning his gun at the time and that's how
-he happened to shoot the third car, although the young lady insists he
-was trying to shoot her."
-
-"I think I've lost the thread," the judge said foggily. "Who was in the
-third car?"
-
-"The man with the skinny legs who says he isn't Pillsworth, and a
-blonde woman."
-
-"He says he isn't Pillsworth and a blonde woman?" the judge asked, his
-eyes loosening in their sockets. "Why should he say a thing like that?"
-
-"No, no," the cop said earnestly, "he just says he isn't Pillsworth."
-
-"Then he admits to being a blonde woman?" the judge gasped. "He must be
-mad!"
-
-"No," the cop said, "he doesn't admit anything about being a blonde
-woman."
-
-"Then he denies being a blonde woman," the judge said with relief. "I
-wish you'd give me this story straight. Who accused him of being a
-blonde woman in the first place?"
-
-"No one," the cop said, almost tearfully. "He was only accused of being
-Pillsworth."
-
-"Pillsworth? You mean the fellow the hospital's looking for? Who said
-he was Pillsworth?"
-
-A look of doom came into the cop's eyes. "The--the other one, your
-honor," he said.
-
-"The other what?" the judge glowered. "Stop being evasive and answer my
-questions."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Rooney swallowed fatefully. "The other Pillsworth," he answered. "He
-accused Pillsworth of being Pillsworth--that is unless he's Pillsworth
-himself. Only he melted away so I guess we'll never really know. The
-blonde woman insists she can't identify him."
-
-There was a dreadful silence as the judge tapped the palm of his hand
-with the gavel. He lifted his gaze to the ceiling then levelled it
-slowly on Rooney.
-
-"So we're back to the blonde woman again, are we?"
-
-"I'm afraid so," Rooney admitted weakly. "That's her over there,
-looking mad."
-
-"I had hoped we were through with the blonde woman," the judge said
-acidly. "I thought we'd washed the blonde woman up."
-
-"No, your honor, I'm afraid not."
-
-"This isn't the same blonde woman that Pillsworth denies being, is it?"
-
-"No, sir."
-
-"Does she deny that she's Pillsworth, is that it?"
-
-"No, sir," Rooney sighed hopelessly. "She's just a blonde woman. She
-refuses to give her name because her husband's a butcher."
-
-"Is she a defendant or a complainant?"
-
-"A complainant," the cop said. "She said that Pillsworth stole her car
-and pinched her. That is if he's Pillsworth, and he denies it."
-
-"Don't you mean he pinched her car?"
-
-"No, sir. He stole her car, but he pinched her--on the thigh."
-
-"My word!" the judge said.
-
-The cop nodded. "She wants to sue someone, only since there were two
-of them she doesn't know which one did the pinching. She can't be sure
-whether it was this Pillsworth or the other one--if you follow my
-meaning."
-
-The judge paled. "Are you being deliberately cryptic, Rooney, or is it
-simply that you can't see your way clear to be clear, if I make myself
-clear."
-
-"I'm afraid I don't follow you, your honor."
-
-"Just a taste of your own medicine, Rooney," the judge said vengefully.
-"How do you like it?" He turned his gaze moodily on the blonde. "About
-this blonde...?"
-
-"Yes, your honor?"
-
-"She gets everything all snarled up. Every time she enters the picture
-it ceases to make sense. Do you suppose this would all clear up if I
-just had her thrown out of court?"
-
-"I don't think so. With or without her, things are snarled up just the
-same. I've never seen so much snarling in all my life; these people
-just don't seem to like each other."
-
-"What about this fellow who denies he's Pillsworth?" the judge asked.
-"Is he the only pure defendant in the bunch?"
-
-"Oh, no, your honor. He's the biggest complainant of the lot. And he's
-far from pure. He's accusing the congressman of being the head of a
-gang of subversives who are planning to kill the entire population with
-bacteria."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The judge leaned across the bench, plainly scandalized. "The
-congressman!" he gasped. "Why Congressman Entwerp was a classmate of
-mine!"
-
-"Yes, your honor. And he's threatened suit against this fellow for
-slander."
-
-"Good," the judge said. "Have this Pillsworth or whoever he is brought
-before the bench. Obviously, he's a low criminal type. It sticks out
-all over him."
-
-The cop nodded and turned in Marc's direction. "You," he said. "The
-judge will hear you."
-
-Across the room, however, Marc gave no sign of hearing. Instead, he was
-gazing intently at the vacant chair next to his own. On his face was an
-expression of anxious annoyance.
-
-"Now, look, George," he said, "You owe it to humanity to show yourself
-and help get this mess cleared up. Why not be a good loser for a
-change?"
-
-The empty chair shifted, just perceptibly, with an air of complacency.
-
-"Maybe they'll hang you," George replied hopefully from thin air.
-
-"Don't be silly," Marc said. "There's no reason why they should. Come
-on, now, be a good fellow and help get this over with."
-
-"Oh, I'm going to help get it over with," George said pleasantly. "When
-I'm through, they'll lower the boom on you so hard you'll be the first
-man in history to be buried in an envelope."
-
-Just then Toffee leaned forward and touched Marc's arm. "The judge
-wants to speak to you," she said. "Come on, let's go."
-
-Marc glanced around. "Did he call you too?"
-
-"Well, no," Toffee admitted, "but I'm an interested party. I want to
-see that you get fair treatment."
-
-"Couldn't you just stay out of it?" Marc pleaded. "Couldn't I just
-handle this myself?"
-
-"Nonsense," Toffee said. "You need me. Come on, the old gaffer's
-beginning to look apoplectic again."
-
-"Oh, all right," Marc sighed. Getting up he followed Toffee to a
-position before the bench. The judge glowered down at them critically.
-
-"So glad you finally found you could come," he said.
-
-"Thank you," Toffee beamed. "It's nice of you to have us."
-
-The gavel barked irritably. There was silence until the judge's
-eyebrows ceased to twitch.
-
-"What are you doing here?" the judge enquired with forced composure.
-"Who called you forward?"
-
-"Lots of people have called me forward," Toffee said, "but that's just
-talk, judge. I'm just impulsive."
-
-"Silence!" the judge said. "Good God, girl, no one asked you for any
-sordid confessions. I just want to know what you're doing here?"
-
-Toffee nodded toward Marc. "I'm with him," she said.
-
-"Then he's the man who was with you in the green sedan?"
-
-"Oh, no." Toffee shook her head. "He's the other one."
-
-The judge blanched. "The other one?" he asked apprehensively.
-
-Toffee nodded. "They're exactly alike. Only this one is nicer. That's
-why I switched."
-
-The judge raised his gavel warningly, and turned to Marc. "Are you
-twins, sir?"
-
-Marc opened his mouth to speak, but before he could George's voice
-sounded immediately behind him.
-
-"Do I look like twins, you thick-headed joker?" the voice asked. "And
-if you must drink in the morning, for Godsake lay off the cheap stuff
-so you don't see double. I always heard justice was blind but I didn't
-know it was blind drunk."
-
- * * * * *
-
-There was an ominous silence in the court as the judge raked Marc with
-a glance of pure loathing. "Are you deliberately in contempt of court?"
-he asked.
-
-Again Marc started to speak and again the voice beat him to it. "In
-it?" it said. "I'm fairly swimming in high octane contempt."
-
-The blonde who had been watching these proceedings with growing
-agitation suddenly sprang from her chair. "That's him!" she yelled
-hysterically. "I'm positive!"
-
-"Be quiet, you!" the judge barked. "I've had enough out of you!"
-
-"But he pinched me!" the blonde cried.
-
-"You're lucky that's all he did," the judge snapped.
-
-"But you don't know where!"
-
-The judge eyed her distantly. "With that lumpy figure of yours," he
-said, "it could scarcely matter. Now, shut up." He turned back to Marc.
-"I understand you've been making libelous remarks against Congressman
-Entwerp."
-
-Marc looked around hopelessly, afraid to open his mouth lest George
-would take over again. He compressed his lips into a thin line.
-
-"Speak up, man!"
-
-Marc looked up unhappily. "I--I--," he murmured fearfully.
-
-"What's the matter with you?" the judge asked. "Let's hear your
-accusations against my good friend the congressman."
-
-"The congressman?" Marc ventured, then brightened as he noticed there
-was no interference from George. "Oh, yes. The congressman must be
-imprisoned at once, your honor. He's a national menace. He instigated a
-propaganda program to dope the public against the threat of the foreign
-powers. But worst of all, he has enough bacteria culture to murder the
-entire population."
-
-"And what's more," Toffee broke in, "he pinched my gadget."
-
-The judge's eyes swiveled about hauntedly. "He _what_?"
-
-"Pinched my gadget," Toffee insisted. "The one with the button."
-
-"Now just a minute," the judge said a little wildly. "Wasn't it the
-blonde woman who had her gadget pinched?"
-
-"Don't be silly," Toffee said. "She hasn't a gadget to be pinched."
-
-"She hasn't?" the judge said in a startled whisper. "What happened to
-her gadget?"
-
-"I guess she just didn't have one in the first place," Toffee said.
-"You can't just go out and buy them, you know."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The judge turned to the cop. "Do you know anything about why this
-blonde woman doesn't have a gadget?" he asked interestedly.
-
-"Search me," the cop said. "I didn't know she didn't. Maybe it's
-because her husband's a butcher. Maybe...."
-
-"Don't," the judge cried, shuddering. "Don't go on! I don't even want
-to think about it."
-
-"Well, who cares about her gadget anyway?" Toffee asked bewilderedly.
-"It's _my_ gadget I'm trying to tell you about."
-
-"And I don't want to hear about it," the judge said shortly. "This
-court is no place for examination room discussions."
-
-"Or much of anything else," Toffee retorted angrily. "Especially
-justice."
-
-"Look, judge," Marc put in desperately. "You've got to listen to me.
-About all this bacteria...."
-
-"Bacteria?" the judge said, startled. "What about bacteria?"
-
-"It's a threat," Marc said. "It's got to be stopped."
-
-The judge nodded. "My dentist said the same thing the other day. Are
-you a dentist?"
-
-"Of course I'm not a dentist," Marc said. "It's the congressman."
-
-"That's preposterous," the judge said. "The congressman isn't a
-dentist, never has been. You're just trying to rattle me."
-
-Again, as Marc started to speak, the voice from behind took over.
-"That's rich, that is," it slurred. "You were rattled the day you were
-born, you old tosspot, and you've been getting balmier ever since. If
-you have the brain of a gnat...."
-
-The gavel smashed down on the bench like the crack of doom.
-
-"Go!" the judge said. "Go and leave me alone! You're all trying to
-drive me out of my mind."
-
-"With a mind like yours," Toffee said, "it would be a fast drive on a
-kiddy car."
-
-"Go!" the judge screamed. "Go away!"
-
-Defeated by sheer volume, Marc and Toffee retreated back to their
-chairs and sat down. The one next to Marc's scraped back a trifle of
-its own volition.
-
-"You fiend!" Marc hissed at the empty chair. "That was a fine mess,
-wasn't it?"
-
-"Glad you admire my work," George said complacently out of thin air.
-"Isn't it remarkable how exactly alike our voices sound?"
-
-"Go to hell," Marc said sullenly.
-
-"If I do I'll probably meet you there," George said. "The old boy has
-you marked down for a sanity test. I heard him say so as you left up
-there. Somehow, it warms me to think of you locked up with a bunch of
-homicidal maniacs. Who's to say what might happen to you?"
-
-The gavel rapped on the bench again, this time more calmly.
-
-"I'd like to speak to the congressman," the judge announced. "Not that
-I put any stock in the ridiculous accusations of that black-hearted
-nit-wit, but I would like to talk to someone rational for a change."
-
-Across the room, the congressman rose from his chair with portly
-composure.
-
-"I'm happy for the opportunity to defend myself against the ravings of
-this lunatic," he said smoothly, "though I'm certain the court hasn't
-taken them the least bit seriously."
-
-"Of course not, congressman," the judge said grandly. "This court is
-always fair and impartial. Step up and have a chair. I'm sorry I can't
-offer you a drink during session, but perhaps we could have lunch
-together somewhere?"
-
-"Good grief!" Toffee whispered. "They're carrying on like old
-sweet-hearts."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The congressman smiled pityingly at Marc. "Actually, I have the
-greatest compassion for our poor friend here," he said magnanimously.
-"Who knows what dreadful experience drove him out of his senses?"
-
-"Why the old foghorn!" Marc hissed between clenched teeth. "He's got
-enough gall to float a fleet."
-
-"As for his fantastic charges," the congressman continued, "they're
-almost too silly to refute." He beamed on the judge. "I think you know
-just about how subversive I am, your honor."
-
-The judge smiled broadly. "Call me Ralph," he said.
-
-"Okay, Ralph," the congressman smiled. "And about that bacteria
-business; the only bacteria culture I have is home in the refrigerator.
-I just happened to let some cheese go mouldy."
-
-The judge laughed immoderately. "Oh, Congressman!" he gasped, wiping
-his eyes. "You always were a wit!"
-
-Toffee frowned her disapproval. "This is worse than television," she
-said.
-
-"What am I going to do?" Marc said. "I can't let him get away with it.
-I'll wind up in an asylum while he sells the whole country down the
-river."
-
-Toffee nodded morosely. "We've got to think of something," she said.
-"If they won't listen to sense, I guess the only thing to do is resort
-to madness."
-
-"How do you mean?"
-
-"Trade seats with me," Toffee said. "I want to talk to George."
-
-"It won't do any good. He won't listen to sense any more than the rest
-of them."
-
-"That's all right," Toffee said. "What I have in mind is more
-nonsense--and a little hypnotism."
-
-"Hypnotism?"
-
-"Uh-huh. I told you I've been studying. Come on, trade."
-
- * * * * *
-
-As unobtrusively as possible they changed seats. Toffee settled
-herself, crossed her legs with care, and turned to the vacant seat at
-her side. When she spoke her voice was husky and confidential.
-
-"Look, George," she said, "I've been thinking...."
-
-The chair quivered interestedly. "Yes?" George's voice said out of
-emptiness. "What about?"
-
-"You and me," Toffee said. "I've just been going over things in my
-mind, and you know, George, I've really been sort of foolish."
-
-"How do you mean?"
-
-"Well take the way I always favor Marc against you. Suddenly it just
-occurred to me that there's no logical reason for it. After all you're
-just alike--except for a few little differences, of course."
-
-"Oh?" George said, a note of interest creeping into his voice. "What
-differences?"
-
-"Well, for instance, you're more aggressive, George. You have a more
-active, dynamic personality. You're the sort who knows what he wants
-and goes out after it."
-
-"I suppose you could say that," George admitted. "What else?"
-
-"You're cleverer, too. Look at the way you've got Marc bottled up right
-now, for example. He's a dead duck. In fact, to tell you the truth,
-George, you make Marc look pretty sick. I'm beginning to think a girl
-would be much better off with you."
-
-George cleared his throat. "You're sure you mean it?" he asked.
-
-"Of course I do," Toffee said. "Why wouldn't I, George? It's not just
-that you're cleverer and more dominant than Marc, there are other
-little things too, things only a woman would notice. Your eyes, for
-instance."
-
-"My eyes?"
-
-Toffee nodded. "Uh-huh. Your eyes are ever so much more exciting than
-Marc's. I don't know what it is, but there's a subtle difference. I
-guess it's personality. I've always noticed it."
-
-"Oh, my eyes aren't all that good," George demurred. "Pleasant and
-friendly, perhaps, but...."
-
-"Oh, much more than that," Toffee insisted. "Flashing and roguish."
-
-"You really think so?"
-
-"Certainly. That and more." Toffee paused for a moment, appeared
-hesitant. "George...?"
-
-"Yes, Toffee?"
-
-"Would you show me your eyes? Just materialize them for a moment so I
-can gaze into them?"
-
-"Do you really like them that much?"
-
-"Please, George...."
-
-"Well ... all right."
-
- * * * * *
-
-And so it was that the congressman, long distracted by a view of Toffee
-fawning on a vacant chair, suddenly found himself staring across the
-room at two disembodied eyes which lolled in mid-air, swiveling and
-rolling about in a delirious attempt to be flashing and roguish. He
-coughed in a strangled way and glanced around at the judge.
-
-The judge, had the congressman been astute enough to notice, had
-suddenly gone white about the gills and showed a shifty disinclination
-to meet his gaze. The truth of the matter was that the judge, similarly
-baffled by Toffee's seductive attitude toward the chair, had also been
-subjected to the nasty sight of George's grotesque eye exercises. He,
-like the congressman, had experienced a feeling of giddiness at the
-nape of the neck and decided against mentioning the incident. After
-gazing upon a pair of air-borne eyes which have just crossed themselves
-in their zeal to convey the charm of the rake, one is generally loath
-to bring the subject up with anyone save the local psychiatrist.
-However, had either gentleman had the least inkling of the mad delights
-yet to come, they might have well bolted the room, shouting the news to
-the world.
-
-The fact was that Toffee, in her endeavor to hypnotize George, was
-meeting with extraordinary success. Having gazed into George's eyes
-with his full cooperation it was only the matter of a moment before
-the hapless shade was completely mesmerized. The eyes, under Toffee's
-steady gaze, grew heavy, drooped, closed altogether, then reopened with
-a slightly dazed appearance. It was not a pleasant sight, but Toffee
-appeared to find satisfaction in it.
-
-Not so, however, the judge and the congressman. Watching these
-developments with sidelong anxiety, they were sore put to it to
-continue with the business at hand.
-
-"Yes, yes," the judge said vaguely, "you were telling me about this
-blackguard who's been saying all these filthy things about you...?"
-
-"Eh?" the congressman said, starting. "_Oh!_ Oh, yes. This fellow, the
-blackguard. I was saying that if he was half a man...!"
-
-The congressman got no further for it was precisely in this moment
-that Toffee commanded George to materialize. There must have been,
-however, a lack of authority in her tone, for the results fell short of
-perfection. In fact, they fell short by exactly fifty percent. George,
-starting at the top of his head, blossomed rapidly into being down to
-the waist and there, quite devoid of his lower quarters, stopped. In
-effect, no sooner did the congressman speak of half a man than the
-order was filled to exact specifications. The congressman not only
-stopped speaking, but stopped breathing as well.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A nervous hush fell over the courtroom, for by now several others had
-begun to notice the half-portion George and were just as reticent to
-mention the matter as either the congressman or the judge. The judge
-clutched grimly to the bench for support and forced himself to look
-away. He laughed a dry, cackling laugh.
-
-"Well, well," he said with feeble heartiness, "we mustn't fall into a
-reverie, must we? You haven't half--I mean you haven't really begun to
-tell me about these slurs against you, congressman."
-
-There was something markedly distraught in the congressman's expression
-as he turned back to the bench. He fiddled with his tie, reached into
-his pocket, took something out and began to finger it nervously. It was
-Toffee's gadget.
-
-"Well," he babbled. "I was only saying that anyone with half--I mean
-any mind at all would be able to see ... uh ... see...."
-
-As he spoke, the congressman turned the gadget absently in his hand. It
-was on the fifth turn, when it was pointing directly at the judge, that
-his finger inadvertently snagged against the button and shoved it to
-one side. Instantly, as though the judge had never been there at all,
-the bench was starkly and dramatically deserted, with only the gavel
-left to mark its recent occupancy. The congressman gaped unbelievingly,
-shook his head, closed his eyes, then opened them again. The judge was
-still absent.
-
-The congressman turned to the others and found himself and the bench
-the focal points for a sea of shocked eyes. He shuddered, pressed the
-gadget self-consciously in a fit of nerves. The button snapped in the
-opposite direction. In the next instant there was a shrill scream from
-the faded blonde.
-
-Those in court turned in unison to find that the judge, just as
-suddenly as he had departed, had reappeared. This time, however, he
-was comfortably ensconced in the lap of the distraught blonde. In a
-courtroom where many odd things had recently taken place, it was the
-general concensus that when the judge of that court sneaks from the
-bench, creeps up on the nearest blonde and hurls himself into her lap,
-some sort of climax has been reached. A murmur of indignation rose
-through the room.
-
-The blonde, for her part, agreed with the concensus, but did not stop
-at an indignant protest. Doubling up her fist she belted the judge a
-nasty blow in the eye.
-
-"You mangey old goat!" she shrieked.
-
-The congressman, by now in a veritable frenzy of nervousness, pressed
-the button again. This time it was Toffee who disappeared. The murmur
-in the court became still more disturbed. The congressman twiddled the
-button in the opposite direction.
-
-Miraculously, Toffee appeared behind the bench in the judge's position.
-She picked up the gavel and banged for attention.
-
-"The court will come to order!" she shrilled happily. "Knock it off,
-everybody!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-A new kind of hush fell over the room. The congressman, slack-mouthed,
-looked up at Toffee with the fearful look of a man who has finally
-been backed to the wall on the question of his own sanity. The judge,
-nursing a blow on the left ear as another was being addressed to the
-right, looked up in horror.
-
-"Here!" he yelled. "Get off that bench!"
-
-"Get off that blonde!" Toffee shot back. "You ought to be ashamed of
-yourself." She whirled about on the trembling congressman. "As for you,
-you big fat traitor, I want a clean confession and no nonsense."
-
-"I don't have to talk to you," the congressman said uncertainly. "You
-can't make me say anything."
-
-"Maybe not," Toffee said, "but what about your conscience?"
-
-"Conscience?" the congressman said uncertainly.
-
-"The term is unfamiliar to you?" Toffee said. "I'm not surprised. Let
-me try to explain it to you. A guilty conscience can play awful tricks
-on people." She eyed the congressman closely. "It can even make you
-think you're seeing things, for instance."
-
-The congressman's eyes widened with an awful fear. "See--see things?"
-he quavered. "What kind of things do you mean?"
-
-"Well," Toffee said reflectively, "say a man is responsible for another
-man's murder. If his conscience gets ahold of him he may begin to see
-that man as still alive. He may even see two such men, just alike. In
-really bad cases the subject is likely to imagine one of the men in a
-state of mutilation, say cut in half. Of course, that's pretty extreme."
-
-The congressman glanced compulsively in George's direction and turned
-ashen. George, still at half mast, stared back at him with fixed
-blankness. The congressman groaned.
-
-"Then there's the very worst sort of conscience," Toffee went on.
-"That's when everything gets mixed up. Through a close study of
-recorded cases, we find that the first attack commonly occurs when the
-criminal is confronted with his crimes, usually publicly, as in a
-court of law."
-
-"H--how do you mean?" the congressman whispered. "Whu--what happens?"
-
-"Well, everything begins to appear to be just the opposite of what it
-really is. There is a famous English case in which the victim was so
-far gone that he actually believed that the magistrate on the bench
-had become a beautiful girl. He described the illusion, I believe, as
-a gorgeous redhead with an exquisite figure and legs too perfect to be
-true." Toffee laughed gaily. "Can you imagine anyone getting themselves
-looped up to that extent?"
-
-The congressman forced a laugh that had all the light-hearted
-spontaneity of a coffin lid being pried up at midnight. "That boy was
-really gone, wasn't he--your honor?"
-
-"Call me Ralph, old man," Toffee said.
-
-"Of course, Ralph, old boy," the congressman said, blinking.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Experimatically, Toffee opened a drawer under the bench and withdrew a
-large black cigar. Inserting this into her month, she leaned forward
-toward the congressman. "Gotta light, friend?" she enquired.
-
-The congressman started back sharply at this new incongruity. It was a
-moment before he recovered.
-
-"Sure," he said, taking out a lighter and waggling it beneath the
-cigar. "Sure thing."
-
-Taking a healthy puff on the cigar, Toffee leaned back luxuriously and
-blew out a cloud of smoke. "What say we adjourn?" she suggested. "We
-can slip around to the club and cut up a few touches with the boys."
-
-"Well, all right," the congressman said, attempting a wan smile.
-"But...."
-
-Toffee took the cigar from her mouth and leaned forward. "Yes, old man?"
-
-"About these cases," the congressman said. "That fellow in England...."
-
-"Oh, the one who thought the magistrate was a beautiful girl? It's
-hard to believe, of course, but you must remember it was an extreme
-case. The most severe ever recorded, I believe. The funeral was only a
-formality, of course, since there wasn't even a scrap of him recovered.
-Exploded, you know."
-
-"Exploded!"
-
-"That's right. The only thing of its kind in medical history. Poor
-devil went right off. With a great whopping roar, they said. The
-doctors said it was caused by repressed emotion."
-
-"Oh, Mona!" the congressman groaned.
-
-"Didn't mean to upset you, old friend," Toffee said. "It's an
-unpleasant thing to talk about."
-
-"But couldn't they have saved him?" the congressman asked. "Suppose
-they had gotten him to a psychiatrist or something before it happened?"
-
-"Actually it was much simpler than that," Toffee said ponderously.
-"The fellow could have saved himself merely by confessing. Confession,
-you know, is the only thing for a bad conscience. Highly recommended
-by all the best authorities. Those church people are doing it all the
-time--can't stop church people from confessing--and you never heard of
-one of them exploding, did you?"
-
-"That's right," the congressman said hopefully. His gaze travelled out
-the window, a clouded look of inner turmoil on his face.
-
-"It was just one of those things," Toffee put in. "One minute this
-chap was standing there in court just as hail and hearty as beans and
-the next--boom!--and the spectators were whisking him off their coat
-sleeves and passing round the cleaning fluid!"
-
-The congressman whirled about in a convulsion of anguish. "I confess!"
-he blurted. "I confess _everything_!"
-
-"Not everything," Toffee said. "Leave the racy personal stuff for
-another time."
-
-The congressman reached out the gadget and dropped it on the bench.
-Toffee picked it up as he followed that contribution with a key.
-
-"There's the key to the storeroom," the congressman said, "and the
-one to the private files. And here's a list of the members of the
-organization." He started as Rooney stepped forward and took him by the
-arm.
-
-"Take him away," Toffee said blithely. "Find him a cell with lots of
-padding. And take his body-guard too."
-
- * * * * *
-
-As the congressman and the thug disappeared in the custody of Rooney,
-Toffee mashed out her cigar, quitted the bench and proceeded across the
-court where the blonde was still throttling the judge.
-
-"Better let him up, honey," she advised gently. "He's turning a very
-nasty blue."
-
-The blonde stopped to consider the judge's complexion and let him drop
-to the floor.
-
-"Loathsome old bore!" she hissed as he sat up and rubbed his neck, then
-got to his feet and tottered off toward the bench. "That'll teach you
-next time."
-
-Toffee moved on to Marc. "Well, don't just sit there," she said, "Let's
-get at it."
-
-Marc looked up apprehensively. "At what?" he asked.
-
-"Everything." Toffee said spaciously. "On the town."
-
-"Haven't you had enough excitement?" Marc asked wearily.
-
-"Not of the right sort," Toffee said. "What I crave is soft lights and
-wine and all that sort of elegant truck. Come on."
-
-"What about George?"
-
-"Oh, yes," Toffee reflected, "there is George, isn't there?" She
-regarded the transfixed half-spirit thoughtfully. "It would serve him
-right if we just left him here, cut off at the pockets. Still I don't
-suppose it's the thing to do...." A look of inspiration came to her
-face. "I know."
-
-Taking her gadget from beneath her arm, she levelled it at George and
-pressed the button. Instantly George disappeared entirely. Toffee
-replaced the instrument and turned to Marc.
-
-"There," she said brightly. "George in the handy pocket size, where he
-can't do any harm. Now we're all set for a life of gin and sin, and no
-interruptions."
-
-"Now, wait a minute!" Marc said. "We're not set for anything, much less
-a life of gin and sin as you so pungently put it. Do I have to remind
-you that I have a wife to think of?"
-
-"I don't care if you have a whole regiment of wives to think of,"
-Toffee said testily. "I've protected and preserved you and, by gum,
-you're mine. At least right now. Your wife can just take her chances on
-what's left."
-
-"If you continue with this scandalous talk," Marc said, shocked into
-primness, "I'm going to be forced to get up and walk right out of here."
-
-"You take one step without me," Toffee warned, "and I'll break both
-your legs."
-
-"Oh, well...." Marc sighed.
-
-"That's better," Toffee nodded. "Of course I'll need some clothes,
-something terribly expensive and revealing...."
-
- * * * * *
-
-She broke off as the doors of the courtroom burst open and Julie,
-followed by the three doctors from the hospital, charged down the aisle.
-
-"My God!" Marc cried. "Julie!" He swung around to Toffee. "Go away!
-Vanish!"
-
-"I'm darned if I will," Toffee said. "I've stuck by you through all the
-thin and now I want some of the thick of it."
-
-"Don't worry," Marc said miserably. "Just wait till Julie sees us;
-things will get thick in a hurry."
-
-Even as Marc spoke the atmosphere began to congeal swiftly. Julie,
-having caught sight of the curious tableau formed by Marc and the
-scantily clad Toffee, jarred to a stop, digging her heels into the
-floor. A sharp, enraged sound came from her lips.
-
-Julie, after her experience of the night before had recovered her
-physical faculties, but her emotional condition was still skittish.
-A wife, summoned to identify her dying husband, rather sets her mind
-on a scene of tearful sighs and murmured remembrances, with perhaps
-a touch of violin music in the background. When she finds her waning
-spouse looking perfectly alive and perky and in close proximity to a
-dangerous looking redhead, her bubble has a tendency to burst with a
-considerable bang.
-
-"_Marc Pillsworth!_" Julie screamed. "Who is that woman!" And raising
-her handbag aloft she proceeded forward with mayhem unmistakably number
-one on her agenda.
-
-Groaning, Marc rose from his chair. "She's going to kill me!"
-
-Meanwhile, the doctors had also caught sight of Marc.
-
-"There he is!" the first doctor said. "We'd better close in on him
-fast."
-
-"It's amazing," the second doctor mused. "The man must be living
-sheerly on the energy of hysteria. He should have been dead hours ago."
-He turned to the third doctor. "Do you have the chloroform ready?"
-
-The doctor nodded and exhibited a can and a large sponge. "Wait till
-the Medical Association hears about this," he said excitedly. "They'll
-never believe it!"
-
-Thus armed, the men in white pressed forward close in the wake of Julie.
-
-Marc retreated in confusion toward the bench. "They're all after me!"
-he cried. "I can't stand much more of this. If just one more character
-tries to kill me...!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The doors of the court swung open and a tall, grim-lipped man barged
-into the room and down the aisle. He was carrying a large meat axe.
-Across the room the blonde leaped joyously from her chair.
-
-"Darling!" she yelled and ran to meet him. They came together in a
-tight clinch just inside the gate. "How did you find me, honey?"
-
-"Bureau of Missing Persons," the man said cryptically. "Where is he?"
-
-"Who, sweet?"
-
-"This creep who kidnapped you. Point him out."
-
-The blonde glanced around. "That's him," she said, pointing, "the one
-with all those people following him."
-
-The man observed Marc's retreating figure with a professional eye. "Not
-much meat on him," he judged, "especially around the shank." He shoved
-the blonde aside. "This'll only take a second."
-
-"Mother in heaven!" Toffee cried, "the whole population is out to get
-you." She pulled Marc out of reach of Julie's bag as it made a broad
-swipe at his head. "Come on, let's join the judge!"
-
-Together, they raced around the bench and started to mount to the chair.
-
-"Get away!" the judge screamed, taking in the ranks of Marc's
-attackers. "Don't come up here!"
-
-"Sorry," Toffee said, leaping lightly up beside him and snatching up
-the gavel. "This is total war!"
-
-Marc gaining the bench, turned his attention to Julie. "Please, dear!"
-he cried. "There's nothing to be sore about!"
-
-"Oh, isn't there?" Julie gritted. "What about that naked little trull
-you're with?" She hefted the bag anew.
-
-"Let me at him!" the enraged butcher bellowed from the flank. "I'll get
-him if I have to hack that bench away around him!"
-
-In answer, Toffee brandished the gavel in a wide gesture of defiance
-which terminated solidly on the side of the judge's nose.
-
-"Ouch!" the judge roared, grabbing his face with both hands. "Clear the
-court!"
-
-"Hell!" the butcher yelled. "I'm going to smear the court with that
-lousy kidnapper!"
-
-The siege of the bench raged, and it will always be a sterling
-testimony to Julie's physical prowess that as she scaled the bench, the
-lethal handbag never once ceased to twirl over her head; if it happened
-to strike the judge more often than anyone else it was only because
-her aim was deflected by her overwrought emotions. To Marc and Toffee,
-however, the real menace lay in the butcher and his cleaver. Only by
-the most adroit maneuverings with the gavel was Toffee able to delay
-his murderous progress with a few strategic licks on the shins.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The doctors, on the other hand, gave themselves over more to calculated
-strategy. While two of them tried to close in on Marc from the sides,
-the chloroformist, can and sponge held ready, crept up from the rear.
-They might have succeeded in this maneuver except for Toffee. The
-redhead, seeing that time and speed were of the essence, abandoned her
-attack on the butcher and sailed forward, the gavel raised in one hand,
-the gadget in the other. Her plan was to dispatch the flankers with
-a single action, then sweep on to overcome the third doctor with all
-dispatch. The strategy, however, was too hastily conceived to be really
-successful.
-
-Marc in an effort to avoid Julie's bag, leaped forward at just the
-wrong moment. Throwing himself toward Toffee, he received the full
-impact of both the gavel and the gadget, one to the ear. He reeled to
-one side, stumbled and sprawled to the floor, shaking his head.
-
-"Oh, no!" he wailed, looking back reproachfully at Toffee. "Not you
-too!"
-
-But Toffee didn't answer; she was far too surprised and pleased at the
-sudden results of this little accident. In banging Marc over the head
-with the gadget, she had inadvertently sprung the switch and introduced
-George, completely restored to the last molecule, into the very center
-of the proceedings. She only regretted she hadn't thought of it sooner
-as she saw the attackers, in the confusion, turn on George in force.
-
-"Stay down," she hissed and dropped down lightly beside Marc. "While
-George is standing in for you, let's get out of this."
-
-Marc rose to his knees, took in the new development and nodded. "This
-way," he said, indicating a door behind the bench. "I saw the judge
-crawling out this way a minute ago."
-
-Together they scuttled on their hands and knees to the door. Marc edged
-it open, let Toffee through, then followed after. Safe, they turned
-back to see how the battle was developing around the bench.
-
-George appeared to be finding himself at rather a rude disadvantage.
-And it is entirely conceivable that the besieged spook might well
-have been confused in that his last conscious moment had been the one
-of promised amour just before Toffee hypnotized him. Now, suddenly
-restored to awareness, instead of a fawning redhead, he found himself
-confronted by what appeared to be a select group of the worst fiends of
-hell.
-
-George's gaze grew more and more terrified as he took in the swinging
-handbag, the slashing meat axe and the intense, determined faces of the
-doctors. With a single shriek of despair, as the meat axe made a swipe
-at his ear, he staggered backwards and vanished into thin air.
-
-"Poor George," Toffee giggled. "I've got a feeling he checked out for
-good just then. He looked like a ghost who's just remembered a previous
-engagement."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Marc got up, closed the door and flicked the latch. He stopped, glanced
-around at the room. It was some sort of inner chamber, resplendent of
-leather and polished wood, a place of durability and hard surfaces,
-lighted by a large brass lamp standing on an enormous oak desk. At the
-far end of the room a door stood ajar, opening onto a hallway which
-pointed the direction of the judge's recent escape. Marc crossed to it
-and closed and locked it.
-
-"Well," Toffee said, perching herself lightly on the corner of the
-desk. "This is more like it. Private."
-
-Marc turned wearily from the door. "Just leave me alone," he sighed.
-"Just let me sit down somewhere and relax. This is the first time in
-almost twenty-four hours that I haven't had someone at my heels trying
-to kill me."
-
-"Poor Marc," Toffee said. "You do need a rest."
-
-Marc started across the room toward a large leather-covered chair. He
-was nearly there when he caught his foot in the lamp cord and fell.
-
-Even as he struck the floor he was aware of the crazy see-saw flashes
-of light traveling up and down the wall. It wasn't until he rolled
-over, however, that he saw the lamp teetering precariously on the edge
-of the desk just above his head. He started to cry out, but before he
-could force the sound to his lips the lamp slipped beyond the edge and
-plunged downward. It seemed to explode in his face....
-
- * * * * *
-
-It grew out of the darkness, a place of familiar beauty. The light
-came slowly like the first faint tracings of dawn, etching the gentle
-slopes, the intricate, clustered outline of the forest.
-
-Marc looked around at Toffee who was sitting beside him on the rise of
-the knoll. In the glowing half-light she was beautiful beyond words.
-
-"I ought to break your thick skull," she said. "Will you never learn to
-pick up those huge feet of yours?"
-
-"Huh?" Marc said.
-
-"Tripping over that damned cord just when we'd gotten away from them
-all. Big-footed oaf."
-
-"Oh, golly, that's right," Marc said. "We're back in the valley."
-
-"You're darned tootin' we're back in the valley," Toffee said
-fretfully. "And that means it's all over. No high-life, no
-snaky-dressed, and no...."
-
-"There wouldn't have been any of that anyway," Marc put in hastily.
-"It's just as well."
-
-"Don't be too sure," Toffee said with a sidelong glance. "All I needed
-was a few more minutes and...."
-
-"What happened to your gadget?" Marc asked, changing the subject.
-
-Toffee picked up the instrument from the grass beside her and shook it.
-It made a loose rattling sound.
-
-"I broke it when I hit you over the head with it." She tossed it away
-from her and it rolled down the slope and out of view. "It's served
-its purpose." She turned to Marc. "That is if you'll just stop making
-people want to kill you."
-
-"I feel all dented and scratched," Marc said. "But I guess I'm all
-right."
-
-"You'd feel more dented and scratched if I'd gotten ahold of you,"
-Toffee said. "For instance...."
-
-Suddenly she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a
-moment Marc felt that he must have gotten mixed up with a metal clamp.
-
-"Gee whiz!" he said as she released him.
-
-"That's just the beginning," Toffee said. "I like to ease into these
-things. After that...." She stopped as the light of the valley began to
-dwindle. "Oh, damn!"
-
-Marc looked around at the valley in the rapidly diminishing light.
-A small pang of regret flickered deep inside him. He felt himself
-drifting off into the growing darkness.
-
-"Goodbye, Toffee," he whispered. "Goodbye."
-
-He felt the light caress of her hand on his cheek.
-
-"So long, you lovely old reprobate," Toffee said. "Don't you dare
-forget me...."
-
-And then the darkness was complete and Toffee and the valley were gone
-in a swirling haze.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Marc stirred and there was a small thud beside him. He opened his eyes
-and looked around; the thud had been the lamp rolling off his chest. He
-forced himself to sit up.
-
-There was just enough light from a small skylight above to see that
-Toffee was no longer there. He hadn't really expected that she would
-be. He shook his head briefly to clear it. The memory of Julie and the
-others in the courtroom came to him.
-
-He had to get out of there. He had to get home. He could wait there and
-explain things to Julie--somehow--when she returned. He got to his feet
-and gazed bleakly down the long, unshapely stretch of his own bare legs.
-
-It wouldn't do to go wandering around on the streets like that.
-Remembering that he had noticed a closet when he'd first entered the
-room, he made his way to it now and opened the door.
-
-The only thing in the closet was the judge's discarded black robe. Marc
-regarded it for a moment but nonetheless took it off the hanger. It was
-much better than nothing. He slipped the robe on and crossed to the
-door leading into the hallway.
-
-He unlocked the door and opened it. The hallway was deserted. It led
-toward the back of the building and outside. Marc quitted the room and
-quickly traced the hall to a set of outdoor steps leading down to a
-parking area. He started forward, then drew back as a figure appeared
-from around the far corner and made for one of the cars. Then suddenly
-he stopped as he realized that the figure was Julie and she was on her
-way to their blue convertible.
-
-"Julie...?" he called.
-
-Julie, whirling about, caught sight of him and screamed at the top of
-her lungs. Having expressed herself thusly she leaped for the car, tore
-the door open and threw herself inside. Then, slamming the door and
-snapping the catch, she started fumbling feverishly in her bag for the
-keys.
-
-Marc hastened down the steps and across the lot. He banged on the car
-door.
-
-"Julie!" he cried. "Listen to me! I can explain about the girl. She was
-only helping me trap the congressman. She's gone now. Julie, are you
-listening?"
-
-Julie paused in her frenzied gropings and looked out at him. She
-lowered the window just a crack with an unnerved hand.
-
-"Beat it, you--you apparition!" she quavered. "I can't see you, I
-really _can't_! So it's no good your pretending you're there. You're
-not, and I know it. Go away!"
-
-"Apparition?" Marc said. "I'm no apparition. Julie, it's me--Marc!"
-
-Julie's gaze steadied a trifle. "You're sure?" she asked. "You're
-really there?"
-
-"Of course I am. Let me in the car, please, dear."
-
- * * * * *
-
-She hesitated, but in the end she opened the door, reached out gingerly
-and touched him. Then, with a smile of reassurance, she slid over to
-make room for him beside her.
-
-"Oh, Marc!" she cried. "I'm so glad it's you. I thought I saw you just
-sort of fade away in there and ... I guess I've been out of my mind
-with worry."
-
-Marc reached out an arm and drew her close to him. "It's all right,
-dear," he said. "It's all over now."
-
-"But the doctors said you had to be operated on. They said you were
-dying."
-
-"Oh, that," Marc said hedging. "Well--that was just a gag, a trick to
-make the congressman expose himself. Where are the doctors now?"
-
-"Asleep," Julie said.
-
-"Asleep?"
-
-"Yes. It seems that one of them got excited and spilled a big can of
-chloroform on all three of them. They looked very relaxed when I left."
-
-"Probably needed the rest," Marc said. "They seemed quite energetic."
-He patted her shoulder. "So do we. Shall we go home?"
-
-Julie nodded. Marc started the car.
-
-"Marc...?"
-
-"Yes, dear?"
-
-"About that girl, the one with red hair. That was very silly of me,
-wasn't it?"
-
-"Silly?" Marc asked.
-
-"The way I got it into my head that there was something between you
-two. That was silly, wasn't it?"
-
-"Very silly," Marc said. "I don't know how you ever thought of such a
-thing." He turned and smiled at her. "But I forgive you."
-
-Julie moved closer. "Thank you, dear," she murmured. "You're very kind
-and understanding. Besides, if I'd just stopped to think about it I'd
-have realized she wasn't the kind you'd ever give a second thought."
-
-Marc backed up the car and headed out of the lot. "Of course not,
-dear," he said. A smile played at the corner of his lips as he gazed
-off into the distance. "Never a second thought...."
-
- * * * * *
-
-_George approached through the mists, his ectoplasm disheveled and
-drooping. As he moved toward the sentry station it was all too apparent
-that here was a shade in low spirits._
-
-_"George Pillsworth, spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth
-reporting in from leave," he announced listlessly._
-
-_The sentry, a gross spectre of the lower sort, jutted his head out of
-the opening. "Hot dawg!" he said. "Wait'll the Council gets a load of
-you!"_
-
-_George looked up wearily. "What do you mean by that?" he asked._
-
-_"Just after you took off, word came through that Pillsworth was as
-hail and hearty as health biscuits. They've been waiting up for you
-ever since. Boy, are you in for a welcome!_"
-
-_George shrugged and sighed heavily. "Back to the Moaning Chorus, I
-suppose?" he said._
-
-_"You know it, brother," the sentry nodded, and leaning forward he
-swung the gates open in a wide gesture. "Pass on, George Pillsworth,
-spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth. Come and get it, kid."_
-
-_George drifted disconsolately through the gates and toward the Council
-Chambers which loomed large and formidable through the swirling mists
-ahead. Slowly, softly he began to hum to himself, a tune of great
-melancholy and gentle discord. He paused, hummed the tune again._
-
-_"Not bad," he mused, "not bad at all. With a little arranging it might
-go over big."_
-
-_Humming the tune again, he resumed toward the chambers. He shrugged,
-dusted his ectoplasm and smoothed it down._
-
-_Now that he stopped to think about it he was sort of relieved to be
-back. Certainly the Moaning Chorus couldn't be any more exhausting
-than what he'd just gone through on Earth. And, coming right down to
-it, those humans down there were beginning to get a little spooky
-lately...._
-
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of No Time For Toffee!, by Charles F. Myers</div>
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: No Time For Toffee!</p>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Charles F. Myers</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 27, 2021 [eBook #65931]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
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-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NO TIME FOR TOFFEE! ***</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter x-ebookmaker-drop">
- <img src="images/illusc.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>NO TIME FOR TOFFEE!</h1>
-
-<h2>By Charles F. Myers</h2>
-
-<p>Life was Marc's oyster, but: subversives<br />
-had shot him&mdash;a ghost was ready to haunt his<br />
-corpse&mdash;and Toffee was loving him to death!</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br />
-July 1952<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p><i>Just as he stepped to the microphone Marc caught sight of the swarthy
-man. He saw the red scar across the left eyebrow, the dull flash of
-metal in the large hairy hand. By then it was too late even to cry out.
-In the next instant the glass panel in the control booth shattered.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Marc felt an explosion of hot pain deep inside his chest. He was aware
-of looking around dumbly at Dick Drewson and seeing Drewson's face
-register shocked disbelief. Then the scene&mdash;the room, Drewson and the
-others&mdash;disappeared, engulfed in a blinding sheet of flame&mdash;and Marc
-knew he was falling....</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Somewhere, in a place where time and space didn't exist, grey mists
-began to seeth and swirl, and withall there was an ominous rumbling.
-The High Council was almost in session.</p>
-
-<p>In a sense, the High Council was already in session, for the Heads of
-the Council had developed their intellects to such an inconceivable
-degree that when a meeting of the Council was imminent they could
-send their thoughts on ahead of them and get the meeting under way
-even before putting in an appearance. There was an exchange of views
-and information long before the Heads accomplished the mundane and
-troublesome business of materialization. Thus it was that the mists
-of Limbo now rumbled with thought, counter thought and&mdash;on this
-particular occasion&mdash;downright aggravation, even before the arrival
-of the Supreme Head in the vapored chambers. There was an air of
-foreboding.</p>
-
-<p>Having declined all vanities in the pursuit of the Ultimate
-Intelligence, the Heads had allowed themselves to evolve into literal
-representations of their titles. Directing all their energy and
-development to the brain and its encasement, their bodies had suffered
-proportionately so that now they were little more than a group of
-preposterously large craniums, shaggy with cerebration, bearing faces
-weighted with the ponderous woe of Life, Death, Eternity and other
-such mental ballast. Five in all, they made up a company to be avoided
-whatever the cost.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The Supreme Head cleared his throat and Eternity rattled with phlegmy
-discontent. Baleful glances were exchanged all around.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," said the Supreme Head, after a pause for attention. "I suppose
-you all know the reason for this meeting by now?"</p>
-
-<p>The Second Head, a bald party with large ears, nodded sadly. "You say
-this blighted Pillsworth has gone and got himself shot this time?"</p>
-
-<p>"Precisely," the Supreme Head affirmed. "In a broadcasting studio, if
-you please. There's simply no keeping that man out of trouble."</p>
-
-<p>"But why should we want to keep him out of trouble?" the Third Head, an
-elongated customer with eye pouches, wanted to know. "That's hardly our
-responsibility."</p>
-
-<p>"There's George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head said fatefully. "Surely
-you haven't forgotten about George?"</p>
-
-<p>A hush fell over the Council, a hush of horror.</p>
-
-<p>"Not George again?" the Second Head shuddered. "We don't have to face
-him again, do we?" He looked around beseechingly at the others. "After
-all, Pillsworth's only injured, isn't he? He's not dying?"</p>
-
-<p>The Supreme Head looked for a moment as though he wished he had
-shoulders so he might shrug them hopelessly. "The vibrations are
-confused again," he sighed. "I don't know what the interference is
-around Pillsworth, but the call never comes through clearly. All we
-know is that he's gotten himself into another mess of some sort and is
-either dead or dying."</p>
-
-<p>"It seems that the subversives are still strongly active in the
-United States, and of course Pillsworth couldn't stay out of it like
-a good citizen. He was approached by some men delegated by government
-authority to take control of national advertising. The theory was that
-American advertising could be used as a strong combative propaganda
-weapon against the enemy propaganda already circulating through the
-country. A committee was delegated to secure the cooperation of the
-nation's leading advertising agencies. Naturally, since Pillsworth is
-the nation's leading advertising executive, they contacted him first."</p>
-
-<p>"Then Pillsworth is a subversive?" the First Head enquired. "That's how
-he got into trouble?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not at all," said the Supreme Head. "That's just it. Pillsworth wasn't
-subversive, but the government committee was."</p>
-
-<p>"Eh?"</p>
-
-<p>"Exactly. It turned out that the program was one of the cleverest
-propaganda schemes ever devised. Actually, their aim was to insert
-alien ideals into the nation's advertising."</p>
-
-<p>"But you said the plan had government approval."</p>
-
-<p>"That's the really clever part of it. The method of presentation, while
-seeming on the surface to denounce the foreign creed and uphold the
-American one, actually was designed to win support for the enemy. The
-sales psychology employed was of the negative."</p>
-
-<p>"Negative?"</p>
-
-<p>"That's correct. It's the old principle of telling people they don't
-want a thing until they develop a feeling of defiance and decide they
-are going to have it. It's an extremely subtle approach, but almost
-infallible if properly developed. Knowing this, these men had a perfect
-plan, so subtle that even the government didn't recognize it. Also,
-they had help from within. A certain Congressman Entwerp pushed through
-the legislation."</p>
-
-<p>"But Pillsworth saw through it?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Instantly," the Supreme Head nodded. "It was a principle he had been
-using assiduously for years, in fact the very one through which he
-achieved his success. The whole plot was as clear as a May morn the
-moment he heard it. That's when the trouble started. He contacted
-Congressman Entwerp."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, dear!"</p>
-
-<p>"Indeed. Entwerp responded by holding Pillsworth up to ridicule."</p>
-
-<p>"But Pillsworth had logic on his side."</p>
-
-<p>The Supreme Head smiled tolerantly. "That's the Earth for you every
-time," he said. "Show a human a bit of logic and he gets truculent on
-the spot. Pillsworth was denounced as a witch hunter and instructed
-under penalty of law to cooperate to the fullest."</p>
-
-<p>"Shocking," the Third Head said. "I begin to feel sorry for this
-Pillsworth."</p>
-
-<p>"Pillsworth was similarly shocked. But he didn't feel sorry for
-himself. Despite his inclination for the quiet conservative life, he
-fought back."</p>
-
-<p>"Good," the Fourth Head put in. "I'm glad; it gives the story zip."</p>
-
-<p>"My thought in telling you this," the Supreme Head said caustically,
-"is merely to inform, not entertain."</p>
-
-<p>"Sorry, sir."</p>
-
-<p>The Head nodded acknowledgment. "But to get on, Pillsworth presented
-his case to a news broadcaster and asked to be allowed to recite his
-story to the nation in the interests of national security. He was shot.
-By whom we do not know; the fellow got away. But the fact we must hold
-in mind is that he definitely was shot."</p>
-
-<p>"Then it really is serious," the Third Head said. "We may have to
-interview this deadly George after all."</p>
-
-<p>"It's unavoidable," the Supreme Head sighed. "There's no way around
-it."</p>
-
-<p>"But we're not positive Pillsworth is dead yet. Couldn't we wait and be
-sure?"</p>
-
-<p>"His vibrations have been broken," the Supreme Head said. "Actually we
-have no cause to hesitate." He sighed. "I suppose we might as well get
-it over with."</p>
-
-<p>The others nodded in reluctant agreement. There was an oppressive
-silence.</p>
-
-<p>"But didn't we banish George?" the First Head said. "We must have after
-his last excursion to Earth."</p>
-
-<p>"That's right," the Second Head agreed. "I remember distinctly. He
-attempted to fire poor Pillsworth off into outer space without a
-pressure suit. We banished him to the Void to sing bass in the Moaning
-Chorus."</p>
-
-<p>"We certainly picked the right party for the job," the First Head
-reflected. "There isn't a more base spirit in all Limbo. Has he been
-summoned?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The Supreme Head coughed regretfully. "I issued the call through
-Message Center before I announced the council."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, dear," the First Head murmured, "then the stinker is practically
-on the sloop at this very moment."</p>
-
-<p>"The stinker is crossing the sloop even now," the Supreme Head amended,
-his gaze fastened hauntedly on a disturbance in the outer mists. "Here
-he comes."</p>
-
-<p>"Secure your valuables," the Second Head said morosely. "And keep your
-hands in your pockets."</p>
-
-<p>Hesitantly, under the unblinking disapproval of the Council, George
-materialized. As the Council watched, a duplicate of Marc Pillsworth's
-long, lean body, made vague by misted robes, rose solidly out of the
-moiling vapors. It grew to full stature, rounded out at the shoulders,
-extended a neck, then stopped short of the head. There was an expectant
-pause, but nothing further developed.</p>
-
-<p>"The rotter's ashamed to face us," the First Head observed sourly.</p>
-
-<p>"Little wonder," the Third Head muttered. "After the way he's blotted
-the haunting profession, he hasn't got a leg to stand on."</p>
-
-<p>"George Pillsworth," the Supreme Head intoned with exasperation,
-"spiritual projection of the mortal entity, Marc Pillsworth, approach
-the Council. And put on your head, you fool."</p>
-
-<p>George stirred, and his head, working from the chin upward,
-materialized, revealing the face of Marc Pillsworth. All in all, as
-faces go, Marc's&mdash;and consequently also George's&mdash;hit very close to
-average. It was a nice face, a pleasant face, for all its lack of
-distinction. On George, therefore, it was a misleading face. With its
-lean plainness, its serious grey eyes and its shock of sandy hair,
-it failed utterly to express even a whit of George's unprincipled
-temperament.</p>
-
-<p>"Is that better, sir?" George asked, edging warily forward.</p>
-
-<p>"Hardly that," the Supreme Head groused. "The less of you the better.
-However it helps us somewhat to get a clue to the inner festerings of
-that depraved mind of yours." He gazed at George for a long, reflective
-moment, then made a sad, clucking sound. "I simply cannot imagine
-what Marcus Pillsworth must have thought when he discovered that his
-spiritual entity was a tacky, ebony-hearted, feather-headed wretch like
-you. Why aren't you more like your mortal source?"</p>
-
-<p>George shrugged sheepishly. "I guess I'm just no damn good," he
-murmured.</p>
-
-<p>"You flatter yourself," the Supreme Head said. "You're much worse than
-no damn good. You're simply awful. I wonder if Limbo will ever live you
-down."</p>
-
-<p>"I hope so, sir," George said contritely.</p>
-
-<p>"Nevertheless," the Supreme Head went on, "much as I loathe it, I
-suppose we must get on with it. I suppose you know why you've been
-summoned?"</p>
-
-<p>George nodded dimly. "They reported me for teaching the Moaning Chorus
-to syncopate."</p>
-
-<p>"What!" the Supreme Head gasped. "You did <i>what</i>?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>George looked up, afrighted; he'd given himself away again with no
-need. "Yes, sir," he sighed resignedly, "I thought that if we got up
-a good hot act we might be able to wangle a few guest shots with the
-Celestial Choir. Actually, we've worked out a really sock arrangement
-of the <i>Wham Bam Blues</i>. I'm sure that if you heard it...."</p>
-
-<p>"No!" the Supreme Head roared. "You <i>couldn't</i>! Of all the
-unmitigated...!" He stopped and waited for his spleen to subside.
-"George Pillsworth," he said, "you are insufferable."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose so, sir," George said. "However my intentions...."</p>
-
-<p>"Blast your intentions!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir. I'm very sorry."</p>
-
-<p>"Never mind. In that case it's probably just as well that things are as
-they are. It'll be a great relief to be rid of you."</p>
-
-<p>"Rid of me?" George said fearfully. "You aren't going to...?"</p>
-
-<p>"Unfortunately, no," the Supreme Head sighed. "What I mean is that your
-mortal part, Marc Pillsworth, has got himself shot."</p>
-
-<p>George looked up sharply. His whole aspect changed; his eye brightened;
-his entire being grew more alert. "I'm to be sent to Earth as a
-permanent haunt? Oh, sir...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Hold it!" the Supreme Head snapped. "Don't go into a spring dance.
-There's a hitch."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh," George said, but his eagerness was not noticeably dampened.</p>
-
-<p>To George, the merest prospect of a visit to Earth was only to be
-regarded with rapturous anticipation. To him that distant world of
-mortals was a place of boundless and exquisite attraction. It was made
-up in equal parts of liquor, women and larceny and anything else that
-existed there was merely the result of these things brought together in
-odd combination. For George, Earth was absolutely the last gasp.</p>
-
-<p>Of course George had never achieved the ultimate accomplishment of
-establishing permanent residence on Earth, for on all of his previous
-visits he had arrived only to find that Marc was still alive and that
-he could not legitimately remain. If on these occasions, George had
-done his level best to rectify this error with whatever murderous means
-at hand, it did not imply that the ghost held any personal animosity
-for Marc. It was simply that George's was the sort of temperament which
-boggled at almost nothing to achieve its end.</p>
-
-<p>"What's the catch?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be flip," the Supreme Head admonished. "And stop syncopating."</p>
-
-<p>"Syncopating?" George asked innocently. "I'm standing perfectly still."</p>
-
-<p>"It's your mind," the Supreme Head said. "It's jogging about like a cat
-on hot bricks. It shows all over you. This is an occasion of enormous
-seriousness."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>George did his best to assume an expression of profound sobriety.
-"Yes, sir," he murmured.</p>
-
-<p>"First of all," the Supreme Head continued, "as usual there is some
-question as to Pillsworth's actual status. He has been shot, it's true,
-and his vibrations are definitely broken. However, experience has
-taught us to be wary in the case of Pillsworth. Often we have acted
-on false alarms in the past and have been sorry." The Head paused
-and beetled his brow. "Of course we need not have regretted those
-errors had you behaved yourself at all in the manner of a decent,
-self-respecting shade. Nevertheless, we don't dare take a chance
-despite our reluctance in the matter. Pillsworth's wound falls into the
-mortality class, so we have no alternative but to issue you your travel
-orders and the usual allotment of ectoplasm." He fixed George with an
-unhappy stare. "And get that look of evil delight off your face."</p>
-
-<p>"Sorry, sir," George said.</p>
-
-<p>"And make up your mind right now that this is a business trip. If
-Pillsworth is not dead or definitely dying when you arrive you will
-return instantly. Do you understand?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir."</p>
-
-<p>"And if he isn't dead or dying you will do nothing to alter this state
-of affairs. You will not undertake on your own initiative to shove him
-off tall buildings, under moving trucks or into open manholes. You will
-not threaten him with ropes, guns, explosives, rare poisons or knives,
-or attempt to dispatch him to heaven by means of rocket. Have you got
-all that straight?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," George said quietly. "Hands off. I understand."</p>
-
-<p>"I hope you do," the Head said ominously, "for your own sake. Anyway,
-I suppose you'd better go along now and start checking out through
-Supply. All that's left here is for you to raise your right hand and
-swear by memory to the Ten Commandments of the Hunter's code. However,
-I suppose you've got them all cribbed on the sleeve of your robe."</p>
-
-<p>George lowered his gaze. "Yes, sir," he murmured. "I have."</p>
-
-<p>"Then skip it," the Head sighed resignedly. "Just clear out."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," George said, brightening. "Thank you, sir."</p>
-
-<p>As the mists swirled up around George, and he gradually dissolved into
-their vaporish currents, a joyous grin lighted his face....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Three sets of eyes fastened clinically on the X-ray with worried,
-professional interest.</p>
-
-<p>"There's a slight chance," the first doctor said, "if we operate
-immediately."</p>
-
-<p>"Too slight," the second murmured. "The bullet's too close to the
-heart. He'll die on the table."</p>
-
-<p>"He'll die anyway. We're merely taking the only chance there is."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose so. Has his wife arrived yet?"</p>
-
-<p>"She's with him now."</p>
-
-<p>"He's not conscious, is he?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, certainly not, but they could not keep her away."</p>
-
-<p>"We'd better explain how it is. We're almost certain to lose him."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose so."</p>
-
-<p>There was a pause before they turned and reluctantly left the room.
-Outside, in the hospital corridor, the first doctor proceeded to the
-door at the end of the hall while the other two stayed behind. He
-opened the door and quietly stepped inside.</p>
-
-<p>Marc lay still on the bed, his pleasant face drawn and pale against the
-pillow. Julie sat beside the bed, a classic figure of silent grief, her
-blonde beauty drained with uncomprehending fright. She did not cry. Nor
-did she move as the doctor walked toward her from the door.</p>
-
-<p>"Mrs. Pillsworth ..." the doctor said, but Julie remained motionless.
-He moved closer to her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder.
-"We've just seen the X-ray." At this Julie looked up. "We'll have to
-operate instantly. The preparations are being made now." He paused.
-"The chances for success are negligible."</p>
-
-<p>Julie nodded dazedly. "I know," she whispered. "I know...."</p>
-
-<p>She did not resist as the doctor took her arm and guided her to the
-door. At the last moment, though, she paused and looked back at the
-lean face on the pillow.</p>
-
-<p>"He looks so peaceful," she said. "He looks so content. Does a dying
-man ever dream, doctor?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Even Marc himself could not have fitted a positive answer to Julie's
-question. Did he dream? Or had he merely retreated from the world to a
-realm of absolute reality? He didn't know himself.</p>
-
-<p>He remembered passing through caverns of roaring darkness, only
-to be caught up by a tongue of searing flame and hurled into some
-obscure dimness where it seemed that all the thought, melody, all the
-remembered sensation of a lifetime writhed about him like vague forms,
-one interposed upon the other, in unpatterned confusion.</p>
-
-<p>But now these entangled vagaries faded away and suddenly he found
-himself sitting on a green slope at the outer perimeter of a grove of
-graceful trees. A blue mist drifted lightly up the far rise to soften
-the horizon. Marc was no stranger to this place for he had visited it
-often. He felt no dismay at finding himself again in the valley of his
-own mind. Indeed, through the last few years, it had become as familiar
-to him as his own home or office. So had the redheaded minx who found
-her existence there.</p>
-
-<p>Marc stirred and looked around. The landscape was uninhabited. No
-lovely, lightly clad figure appeared on the horizon, no lithe form
-emerged from the groves and ran toward him.</p>
-
-<p>Marc frowned anew over the improbable fact of Toffee. Certainly
-she existed in his mind, a constant and consistent product of his
-imagination. That was perfectly easy to understand. The parts of it,
-though, that he never quite got used to were her periods of existence
-outside his mind, in the world of actuality.</p>
-
-<p>What Marc had never been able to really comprehend was that his mind
-could project into the physical world a physical being&mdash;to such an
-extent that her existence was not only apparent to himself but also to
-everyone else who came within the radius of the mental vibration which
-produced the girl.</p>
-
-<p>The question in Marc's mind, then, was whether Toffee really existed,
-was truly real, or whether she was merely an hallucination, a sort of
-contagious hysteria.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee's personality always got in the way of the answer. The girl was
-infinitely distracting, from the pert aliveness of her quick green
-eyes to the full redness of her lips. Beyond that there was the almost
-shameful perfection of her supple young body. These things blocked
-analytical thought. Then, too, there was her unerring instinct for
-roaring, bounding madness, and her absolute contempt for the logical,
-the moral or the conservative. Toffee, in brief, was at once brash,
-embarrassing, impetuous, warm, high-handed, endearing, maddening and
-completely unforgettable. So to all practical purposes, then, she was
-real; the matter of Toffee's source was pallidly unimportant next to
-the vivid fact of Toffee herself.</p>
-
-<p>Marc stretched luxuriously and got to his feet, but as he did so he
-peered around toward the green obscurity of the forest. There was still
-no movement, no sound. He frowned quizzically. This wasn't at all
-usual. Always before Toffee had been there to greet him almost at the
-instant of his arrival. Another time she would be swarming all over him
-by now.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He shrugged and started aimlessly up the rise. At first he climbed
-unhurriedly, but as he drew nearer the trees his gait quickened. At the
-outskirts of the forest he found himself pausing to listen, but there
-was no sound. The feathery branches swayed in silent grace before him.
-A small concern began to trickle into his mind.</p>
-
-<p>The blue mists broke smoothly before his stride as he entered the cool
-enclosure of the forest. Again he paused.</p>
-
-<p>"Toffee...?" he found himself calling.</p>
-
-<p>There was no answer.</p>
-
-<p>He shoved ahead, and now there was a sort of anxiety in his step, and
-he took care not to break the stillness lest Toffee answer. An odd
-feeling of bereavement came over him, though he told himself it was
-foolish. After all, the girl was entirely imaginary, and a pack of
-trouble into the bargain. Then suddenly he stopped.</p>
-
-<p>An odd murmuring seemed to come from the left. He moved in that
-direction, stopped to listen, then hurried on. Ahead he saw a dim
-lightness sketched through the trees, a suggestion of a clearing
-obscured by the dense branches. He approached it, parted the foliage
-and looked out. He stopped short.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee sat in the middle of the clearing, her legs folded under her.
-Her eyes were closed and one slender hand was pressed to her forehead
-in an attitude of labored concentration. Her slight tunic, an emerald
-transparency at best, did little to conceal the impertinent perfection
-of her figure. She was leaning forward just a bit, and her flaming hair
-hung loose over her shoulders. She seemed to be chanting something to
-herself, though Marc couldn't make it out.</p>
-
-<p>"Toffee...?" he said, and stepped forward to brace himself against the
-inevitable rush of brash affection.</p>
-
-<p>The girl opened her eyes and looked around hastily.</p>
-
-<p>"Sit down somewhere," she said, "and be quiet."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" Marc asked.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes, swayed back lightly
-on her shapely haunches and began the muttered chant anew.</p>
-
-<p>Marc swayed a trifle himself, with astonishment&mdash;and perhaps a tinge of
-disappointment. This wasn't like Toffee at all, not by a long shot. He
-moved slowly to her side and gazed down at her intent, upturned face.</p>
-
-<p>"Toffee...?" he hazarded.</p>
-
-<p>She didn't open her eyes. Her lips moved. "Molecules," she said.</p>
-
-<p>"What?" Marc asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Molecules," Toffee repeated. "Molecules ... molecules...."</p>
-
-<p>"Molecules?" Marc said. "What are you talking about?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee opened her eyes at this and looked up at him with anxious
-irritation.</p>
-
-<p>"Please be still," she said. "I've got to think about molecules
-exclusively. It isn't helping any, your gabbing away in my ear."</p>
-
-<p>"But why?" Marc asked. "What about molecules?"</p>
-
-<p>"Everything depends on them, that's all," Toffee said impatiently.
-"Now, just...."</p>
-
-<p>"But wait a min&mdash;!"</p>
-
-<p>"Quiet," Toffee said. "Don't you realize that you're tottering on the
-brink of death at this very moment? Me, too, for that matter."</p>
-
-<p>"Death?" Marc asked. "What are you talking about?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Toffee looked at him aghast. "Don't you remember?" she asked. "Have you
-actually forgotten about being shot in the studio?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc stared down at her in growing horror. A small, agonized memory
-screamed out of the dark inner shadows of his awareness.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I'm dying!"</p>
-
-<p>"And if those licensed butchers get to hacking you up, you're a goner,"
-Toffee said anxiously. "I have the inside information. There isn't much
-time. I've got to concentrate like wild."</p>
-
-<p>"But...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Quiet!" Toffee broke in. "Please be quiet," she closed her eyes again
-and her lips began to move as before. "Molecules," she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>Marc remained rigid at her side. Panic rose inside him and filled his
-throat. His impulse was to turn and run blindly&mdash;perhaps back to that
-dying mortal body&mdash;but his terror held him transfixed. Staring down at
-Toffee, he felt he might go mad in the next moment. In the next moment
-he was certain he had.</p>
-
-<p>Just in front of Toffee, close to the mossy greenness, he caught sight
-of a quick flicker of light, a strange disembodied illumination that
-was at once its own source and product. As he watched it flickered
-again, grew brighter and became a steady radiance. He glanced back at
-Toffee, but her face had become fixed and masklike. Her lips no longer
-moved.</p>
-
-<p>The radiance grew swiftly, to an almost unbearable brightness. In it
-there was a cold hard suggestion of metal. Then it began to take form
-and solidify. Marc blinked as the thing, whatever it was, grew slowly
-out of the gleaming brilliance.</p>
-
-<p>First a cylinder emerged, about a foot long and four or five inches in
-diameter. For a moment the object seemed to have completed itself,
-but then, one at either end, a pair of funnel-shaped openings emerged.
-These completed, a small, two-way switch arrangement appeared at the
-top and in the center of the cylinder. After that, the radiance was
-gone and only the strange instrument remained, lying on the grass
-before Toffee as though cast there by a careless hand.</p>
-
-<p>"What&mdash;!" Marc gasped.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee's perky features relaxed. She opened her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"Did it turn out all right?" she asked brightly. "Is it finished?"</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" Marc asked. He pointed. "You mean <i>that</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, wonderful!" Toffee cried, delighted. "It's rather pretty the way
-it shines, isn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?"</p>
-
-<p>"How should I know?" Toffee said blandly. "Just a gadget. There's never
-been one before."</p>
-
-<p>"You mean you just developed it out of your mind?"</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," Toffee said. "It's a thought product&mdash;like me. Now if it only
-works right...." Picking up the instrument, she looked at it carefully
-and nodded with satisfaction. "It should be simple to operate."</p>
-
-<p>"But what's it for?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'll show you," Toffee said. She pointed to a nearby tree. "See that?"
-Marc nodded. "Keep looking at it."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Turning to the tree, she held the cylinder toward it, so that one of
-the funnels was aimed squarely in its direction.</p>
-
-<p>"Now watch," she said, and pressed the switch.</p>
-
-<p>Marc, staring at the tree in rapt attention, started with surprise.
-Suddenly the tree was gone with no sign that it had ever been there.</p>
-
-<p>"What...!"</p>
-
-<p>"The next part is more important," Toffee said.</p>
-
-<p>"Next part?" Marc said dazedly. "But where is it? Where...?"</p>
-
-<p>"See there?" Toffee said, and this time she pointed to the center of
-the clearing. "Watch."</p>
-
-<p>Holding the cylinder so that the opposite end was pointed to the
-clearing, she pressed the switch in the other direction. Instantly the
-tree shot into being exactly at the spot she had indicated.</p>
-
-<p>Marc stared. It was the same tree&mdash;the one that had disappeared&mdash;and
-yet it was subtly different. It seemed greener now, more alive.</p>
-
-<p>"What happened?" he asked. "What did you do to it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Molecules," Toffee said, smiling. "I broke it down into molecules,
-then projected it again. The machine absorbed the tree in molecules,
-compressed them, reconstructed the faulty or destroyed ones, eliminated
-all harmful matter and retained the count to reestablish it in perfect
-balance and health. It worked fine."</p>
-
-<p>"My gosh!" Marc said.</p>
-
-<p>Drawing close to him, Toffee twined her arms around his neck with
-knowing deliberation and drew his surprised face down close to hers.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm going to save your stodgy life with molecules, you skinny old,
-care-worn wraith," she breathed. "Then you'll be in my pay for the rest
-of your days. Just keep it in mind later when things begin to happen."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" Marc said. "What things?"</p>
-
-<p>"You'll see," Toffee said. "Wow!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc drew himself up stiffly. "Now, look here," he said sternly, "you
-can just get this wow business right out of your head...."</p>
-
-<p>"And if that doesn't work," Toffee said, "I've been studying hypnotism.
-I can transfix a snake at fifty yards." She brushed her cheek lightly
-against his. "Just think of that, you scaly old reptile."</p>
-
-<p>"Just a second," Marc said. "If you think for one sec&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>But the sentiment was lost as Toffee renewed her hold on his neck and
-kissed him warmly and at considerable length on the mouth.</p>
-
-<p>"That," she whispered, "is just a token payment in advance. Just wait
-till the mortgage comes due!"</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/toffee.jpg" alt=""/>
- <div class="caption">
- <p>TOFFEE</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>"Why, you little hussy...!" Marc wheezed. "You haven't the moral sense
-of a brickbat!"</p>
-
-<p>He stopped short, for suddenly the forest had begun to darken and a
-sharp wind came alive in the trees. He glanced around, startled, as the
-earth began to tremble beneath them. Instinctively, he whirled about,
-looking for an escape from the forest, but suddenly, with a groan of
-dismay, the world went black, and he was only aware of Toffee's arms
-closing tight about his neck....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The orderly was a pale, antiseptic type. And he was resentful. Wheeling
-Marc along the hallway toward Surgery, he looked down at the drawn face
-beneath him with a twinge of pique. He strongly resented the fact that
-the face was not behaving at all as the face of a true corpse-elect
-should.</p>
-
-<p>According to the orderly, a dying man had no right to twitch and
-flutter his eyelids the way this one was doing, let alone showing signs
-of coming completely to life. It made the orderly nervous and upset.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/marc.jpg" alt=""/>
- <div class="caption">
- <p>MARC PILLSWORTH</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>For a moment the orderly almost succumbed to an impulse to walk off
-and leave the patient to shift for himself. It was what he deserved if
-he was going to act that way. Nonetheless, he remained. Consequently,
-Marc's first vision, upon returning to consciousness, was of a pale,
-fretful face with white eyelashes and thin lips. He had expected
-something better.</p>
-
-<p>"Who are you?" he asked weakly. "Are you the doctor?"</p>
-
-<p>The orderly shook his head sullenly. "I'm the orderly. The doctor's
-waiting."</p>
-
-<p>"They mustn't operate," Marc murmured. "I'll die...." He stopped as a
-pert face suddenly blurred into view just behind that of the orderly.
-A slender hand brushed back a wayward lock of red hair. Toffee smiled
-and winked.</p>
-
-<p>Marc moaned. "Oh, so it's you, is it?" he sighed. "What are you so
-happy about? I feel awful."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not happy, sir," the orderly said, mystified. "I'm not happy
-at all. In fact, if you want the truth...." He paused, and the
-apprehensive expression of one who detects an unseen presence behind
-him overtook his face. Very slowly, he turned around.</p>
-
-<p>It would be difficult to say what the orderly expected to find behind
-him: a fanged reptile might have made a good guess, a slavering fiend
-another. It is certain, however, judging from his reaction, that on the
-list of things he did not expect to find, a scantily clad redhead was
-number one. Toffee, her legs crossed to perfection, the cylinder-like
-gadget under her arm, sat jauntily on the edge of the cart, smiling a
-bright greeting. The young man leaped backwards and froze in a transfix
-of amazement.</p>
-
-<p>"Auk!" he exclaimed.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee turned to Marc. "Is he doing a bird imitation?" she asked.
-"Should I applaud?"</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be funny," Marc said feebly. "I feel terrible."</p>
-
-<p>"I know," Toffee said. "I got here just in time."</p>
-
-<p>"For what?" Marc asked apprehensively. "What are you going to do?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee patted the cylinder. "I'm going to save your life," she said.
-"Don't you remember?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked at her through heavy lids. "That's silly," he murmured.
-"Just go 'way and let me die in peace."</p>
-
-<p>Unmindful, Toffee leaped lightly to the floor, stood back and aimed the
-gadget at Marc. "All set?" she said.</p>
-
-<p>"Here!" the attendant said, suddenly recovering the faculty of speech.
-"What are you doing?"</p>
-
-<p>"Advancing medical science a mile a minute," Toffee said. "Don't
-interrupt."</p>
-
-<p>"But...!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Toffee placed her hand menacingly on her hip and fixed the young man
-with a steely eye. "Am I going to have to deal with you?" she asked,
-"Or are you going to button your lip like a good child?"</p>
-
-<p>The orderly spoke no further.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee raised the cylinder, sighting the length of Marc's lean,
-sheet-covered body. Then she pressed the switch.</p>
-
-<p>The orderly stared, wide-eyed, and repeated his bird imitation. The
-place where Marc had lain was suddenly as bare as a banquet board after
-the feast. Where a moment before there had been a long thin man, now
-there was only a long, thin sheet.</p>
-
-<p>"Hey!" the orderly bleated. "Ho!"</p>
-
-<p>"So long, phrasemaker," Toffee said, and tucking the cylinder under
-her arm, moved off quickly down the hall and around the corner.</p>
-
-<p>It was just as the orderly observed the last flirt of Toffee's hip that
-the doctor appeared from the door of the operating room and looked
-distractedly in his direction.</p>
-
-<p>"Good grief, man!" he said, "haven't you brought Pillsworth with you?"</p>
-
-<p>The orderly started nervously and looked around.</p>
-
-<p>"He ... he ... he...!" he gibbered. "That is, she ... she...!" He
-pointed in hopeless confusion down the hall.</p>
-
-<p>"What are you babbling about?" the doctor enquired shortly. "Where is
-Pillsworth?"</p>
-
-<p>"He.... He's gone, sir!" the attendant blurted.</p>
-
-<p>"Gone?" the doctor said. "Where did he go?"</p>
-
-<p>The orderly looked away down the hall. "There was this girl, see ...
-she had red hair and a can...."</p>
-
-<p>"Now, just a minute, orderly," the doctor said measuredly. "If you
-think you can distract me with the depressing details of your sex
-life...."</p>
-
-<p>"But you don't understand! She was holding this thing ... and she told
-me to shut up ... and then Mr. Pillsworth wasn't there any more. That's
-the truth!"</p>
-
-<p>"Let me impress it upon you," the doctor said, "that this is a very
-serious incident. I can't imagine how a half-dead patient managed to
-get away from you, but you'll find him instantly and deliver him to
-surgery if you know what's good for you. Meanwhile, I'll have the alarm
-sent out to all the wards and offices. I hope you realize that your
-carelessness has undoubtedly cost the patient his last chance for life.
-Without the slightest doubt I can pronounce Marc Pillsworth dead right
-now."</p>
-
-<p>As the doctor spoke these last words, a small gust of wind&mdash;or at least
-what could easily have passed for a small gust of wind&mdash;eddied around
-the corner at the end of the hall. It was this slight disturbance which
-marked the arrival of George on Earth.</p>
-
-<p>At the sound of the doctor's voice, the ghost stopped, listened, then
-clasped his hands together in a transport of joy. He had arrived just
-in time to receive the happy news! Marc was dead and he, George, had at
-last secured his permanent residency on Earth. Out of sheer exuberance
-the delighted spectre let out a little moan of delight.</p>
-
-<p>The orderly, who was watching the doctor gloomily out of sight, turned
-sharply.</p>
-
-<p>"Mr. Pillsworth?" he quavered thinly. "Mr. Pillsworth, please...?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Meanwhile Toffee had progressed busily along the corridors of the
-hospital in search of some private&mdash;and preferably secluded&mdash;place
-in which to reconstruct Marc. Finally, rounding a corner, she found
-herself abreast of a pair of swinging doors and started toward them.
-She stopped, however, and turned in retreat as the doors suddenly
-parted and a doctor and nurse, deep in conversation, came into view.
-She started back the way she had come, but was stopped again by an
-approaching nurse pushing an elderly female patient in a wheel chair
-flanked on either side by a crutch. Looking for an avenue of escape,
-Toffee spotted a white linen screen against the wall and darted quickly
-behind it to bide her time till the traffic had subsided.</p>
-
-<p>This ruse, on the face of it, hadn't a flaw and should have worked
-like a charm. It should have that is, if Toffee, in her haste, hadn't
-plumped against the wall and unknowingly pressed the button of the
-gadget.</p>
-
-<p>The result of this little accident was that the doctor and the nurse
-approaching from one direction, and the nurse and the patient coming
-from the other&mdash;all four of them suddenly found themselves confronted
-by a tall, thin man standing bewilderedly in the center of the hall
-with nothing to grace his long frame but an extremely brief linen shift
-loosely attached at the back. Toffee had released Marc into reality and
-good health, but costumed only for the operating table.</p>
-
-<p>No one was more acutely aware of this deficiency than Marc himself.
-Looking around unhappily at his stunned beholders and taking in his
-slight coverage all in a single glance, he was taken with a seizure of
-shocked modesty. Hunkering down into a squat he clutched the hem of his
-gown desperately to his knees.</p>
-
-<p>"My word!" the elderly patient said, leaning forward in her chair.
-"What in the world does that man think he's doing!"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't like to think," the nurse said, looking away. "It's bound to
-be something disgusting."</p>
-
-<p>"Here you!" the doctor called from the other end of the corridor. "You
-can't do that! Why are you crouched down in that obscene way?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm naked!" Marc wailed. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm
-downright exposed!"</p>
-
-<p>"There's no reason to whisper about it," the doctor said nastily. "We
-can all see."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. Looking around for a retreat, his frantic
-gaze fell on the screen. Still in a squat, he hobbled swiftly toward it.</p>
-
-<p>"Look at him!" the patient cried, rising slightly in her chair. "Here,
-you! Stop doing that, for heaven's sake! You look like an ailing duck!"</p>
-
-<p>"That's nothing to what I'd look like if I stood up," Marc panted in
-one last sprint for the screen. "That would be worse."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>It was not until this point in the proceedings that Toffee began to
-realize what had happened. Listening to the voices in the hall, it had
-struck her that one of them had a dreadfully familiar ring to it. It
-was much to her dismay that, in peering around the edge of the screen,
-she suddenly found herself practically eyeball to eyeball with Marc.
-She let out a small, strangled cry.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my gosh!" she said.</p>
-
-<p>"For Pete's sake, let me in there!" Marc said.</p>
-
-<p>"But how did you get out there?"</p>
-
-<p>"How should I know? Never mind that, let me in. They're all <i>looking</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>"At what?"</p>
-
-<p>"I shudder to think. Please let me in!"</p>
-
-<p>"But why are you all doubled up like that?"</p>
-
-<p>Tired of words, Marc reached up to the screen to pull it away so he
-could get behind it. Unfortunately, it was at this same instant that
-Toffee decided to shove it open to make room. With their combined
-efforts, the screen buckled, folded, teetered and fell, cracking Marc
-solidly on the head. The next moment found him in an unconscious sprawl
-on the floor. The area behind the screen was starkly deserted. The
-observers crowded in swiftly to see what had happened.</p>
-
-<p>"Good God!" the doctor cried, staring down at Marc. "It's Pillsworth,
-the man they're looking for in Surgery!"</p>
-
-<p>"Is he dead?" the nurse asked.</p>
-
-<p>The doctor shook his head. "He's breathing. Run and call an orderly to
-take him along instantly. Hurry!"</p>
-
-<p>As the nurse hurried off, the elderly patient removed one of the
-crutches from the side of her chair and passed it experimentally
-through the vacant area beyond the screen. She shook her head in
-perplexity.</p>
-
-<p>"By golly," she said, "I could have <i>sworn</i> he was talkin' to somebody
-back there."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>While this untimely denouement was rounding out in the hallway, a mad
-drama of another sort was beginning to ferment in the Pharmacy.</p>
-
-<p>Olliphant Gunn, the rotund and habitually foggy keeper of the dopes
-and drugs, had been watching it for several minutes; there was trouble
-brewing in the Salts and Syrups&mdash;trouble of a most mysterious and
-upsetting nature. The containers, for all the world as though they had
-suddenly been endowed with some idiotic life of their own, had begun to
-shift about all by themselves. Watching a jar of salts hurl itself to
-the floor and splash its contents out in a whitish mess, Olliphant Gunn
-concluded definitely that there was some sort of flimflam afoot.</p>
-
-<p>This conclusion was stoutly strengthened as he witnessed the progress
-of his private bottle from its hiding place amongst the medicants to
-a position in mid-air in front of the shelves. Olliphant began to
-quiver about the dewlaps. He quivered even more as the bottle uncapped
-itself, tilted upward and emptied a noticeable portion of its contents
-into&mdash;into absolutely nothing at all!</p>
-
-<p>Olliphant fell back in his chair, slack of jaw, and it is doubtful, had
-anyone been able to apprise him of the truth of the matter, that he'd
-have felt any better about it. To a man in his cups, as Olliphant was,
-the news does not come lightly that he is in the company of a thirsty
-ghost, with an unerring nose for whiskey, and a predisposition for
-celebration.</p>
-
-<p>Olliphant watched in bleary disbelief as the bottle repeated the
-tilting and emptying process. Then his mood began to change. Regardless
-of what this obviously demented bottle thought it was up to, it had
-no right to deplete his private reserves in this callous fashion. The
-slack jaw of Olliphant Gunn hitched itself up and became firm.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop that!" Olliphant roared. "You stop that right now, damnit!"</p>
-
-<p>For a moment the bottle wavered, as though startled, then defiantly
-upended a third time and brought the level of the coveted liquor down
-still further. Quite as though to rub salt in the wound, it burped with
-grandiose satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p>"Damnation!" Olliphant gasped. "I'll teach you, you blathering bottle!"</p>
-
-<p>Heaving his considerable bulk up out of his chair, he hurled himself
-bodily toward the object of his wrath.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The laws of nature, however, were against Olliphant from the very
-beginning. As the bottle darted out of his reach, sheer momentum
-carried him headlong into the dim reaches of Salts and Syrups. Gravity
-delivered him along with a quantity of gummy liquid and gritty
-crystallines to the floor. Settled in a sticky puddle of wreckage,
-Olliphant glanced around with a reddish, enraged expression. Besides
-salt and syrup, there was blood in his eye.</p>
-
-<p>At a distance sufficiently out of reach, yet insultingly near, the
-bottle was bobbing about amusedly. Indeed, Olliphant distinctly heard a
-soft chuckling sound coming from its direction. With a jungle roar he
-surged up from the floor and launched a second attack. This netted him
-another disastrous collision, this time with the glassware department.
-The Pharmacy was swiftly being transformed into a scene of chaos.</p>
-
-<p>In the interval, the bottle had retreated to a position by the
-doorway and was humming maddeningly to itself. Suddenly it burst into
-full-throated song.</p>
-
-<p>"Goin' to Louisiana," it warbled, "for a case of good whis-kee! Goin'
-to Louisiana with a hussy on mah knee!"</p>
-
-<p>Olliphant settled himself sadly on an untidy mound of rubble and began
-to brood. There was no use denying it; the thing was just too much for
-him. As he watched the bottle bob back and forth in time with the
-idiot song, a large tear trickled down his cheek. Olliphant Gunn was
-just a broken reed in the holocaust of Life, and his ruination had come
-about through a mere mad bottle. The man began to blubber hopelessly.</p>
-
-<p>It was during this heart-rending climax that the nurse, a small blonde,
-appeared at the doorway and stared into the pharmacy with large
-wondering blue eyes.</p>
-
-<p>The invisible George, who had been enjoying his own singing to the
-utmost, stopped at the sight of the newcomer in mid verse. Things, he
-decided, were beginning to look up. Warmed by the liquor, George was
-dazzled and enchanted.</p>
-
-<p>Unfortunately the nurse was neither of these. Striding through the
-door, she stepped into a trickle of syrup and skidded dangerously
-toward Olliphant. George, feeling that things were moving in the wrong
-direction entirely, seized upon the floundering blonde with one deft
-swoop of his invisible arm and lifted her to dry ground. It was a
-moment before he was able to account for the girl's shrill screams.</p>
-
-<p>A period of stupefied silence followed as the nurse glanced around
-suspiciously. As a girl who, in line of business, had experienced
-considerable traffic with men, she was disposed to know to the exact
-moment when she had been forcibly clutched by a masculine hand. Also,
-which only made matters worse, she was a girl who knew where she had
-been clutched and why.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>In looking around for masculine hands available for clutching, a quick
-survey told the nurse that the room inventoried two and both of them
-were the exclusive property of Olliphant Gunn. Geographically it seemed
-impossible that either of these hands could have performed the recent
-clutching, but in her anger the nurse was not the one to quibble over
-details. Seizing up a large crystal beaker she unhesitatingly smashed
-it to splinters on Olliphant's skull with one smart whack. Olliphant
-looked up through his tears.</p>
-
-<p>"What you wanna do that for, lady?" he sobbed.</p>
-
-<p>"You know what for," the nurse gritted, looking around for further
-ammunition. "And that's only the beginning. If you ever...." She
-stopped as she suddenly encountered the floating bottle. Instinctively,
-or perhaps out of sheer surprise, she grabbed for it. At any rate, it
-was not until she had gotten a grip on the thing that she realized that
-this was a bottle not properly on the up and up. This fact was brought
-home to her even more clearly when the bottle refused to budge in her
-grasp and even showed a definite tendency to pull away.</p>
-
-<p>For a long moment the nurse merely stared at the bottle with a
-wondering gaze. Then slowly an expression of determination came into
-her pretty face. Squaring her stance, she took hold of the offending
-container with both hands.</p>
-
-<p>"It's no use," Olliphant said from the floor. "That bottle's mean."</p>
-
-<p>Heedless, the nurse braced herself and tugged with all her strength.
-The bottle gave by a foot, then lurched drunkenly in her grasp. Down on
-the floor the rivulet of syrup became disturbed, as though feet were
-churning through it desperately seeking to regain lost traction.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly the bottle gave way and the nurse toppled backwards into
-Olliphant's lap. Olliphant received this new burden with resignation
-and a grunt. Across the room, however, there was another sound, as of a
-body coming in swift contact with the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"Damn!" the nurse said hotly, turning to Olliphant. "Keep your big
-oafish hands off me! Stop reaching."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm only reaching for the bottle," Olliphant said. "It's mine."</p>
-
-<p>"It didn't feel like it," the nurse retorted. "It felt more like...."
-She hesitated as from the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a
-long body sprawled on the floor. At first glimpse it seemed that the
-body had no head, but as she looked more closely she saw that it did,
-though she had the peculiar sensation that it had just come into being.
-Handing Olliphant the bottle she got to her feet and approached the
-prone figure. Noting that it was dressed for surgery, she stood staring
-down at it quizzically for a moment.</p>
-
-<p>"Holy smoke!" she breathed. "It's Pillsworth!" She turned to Olliphant.
-"Come on and help me. We've got to get him down to Surgery right away!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Marc felt himself rising through the last shredded mists of
-unconsciousness. He tried to open his eyes but a glaring light made the
-attempt too painful.</p>
-
-<p>"Give him the anaesthetic," a voice said close by.</p>
-
-<p>Panic pulsed through Marc's body. They were going to operate! Necessity
-gave him a surge of strength and he sat up, staring wildly at the three
-doctors gathered over him.</p>
-
-<p>"No!" he said. "Don't! I'm all right!"</p>
-
-<p>"Lie down, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor nearest advised. "Just lie down
-and it will all be over with in a minute."</p>
-
-<p>"But I'm all right!" Marc said desperately. He glared around at the
-nurse holding the mask for the anaesthetic. "Get away from me!"</p>
-
-<p>"Hysteria," the doctor said. "Quite understandable after what he's been
-through. He'll have to be restrained."</p>
-
-<p>The other two nodded in agreement. Watching Marc closely, they took up
-positions on either side of him. The first doctor moved to a place at
-Marc's feet.</p>
-
-<p>"When I give the signal," he whispered, "we'll all grab at once."</p>
-
-<p>"I heard that!" Marc yelled. "Stay away from me, you croakers, or
-I'll...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Okay!" the doctor cried. "Grab!"</p>
-
-<p>The scene over the operating table, for a moment thereafter, was a
-living abstraction in flailing arms and legs. Though Marc managed at
-one point to insert his thumb into the eye of the first doctor and his
-foot into the mouth of the second, the odds were too great against him.
-In the end he found himself pinioned helplessly to the table.</p>
-
-<p>"All right, nurse," the doctor said, "fit the mask to his face. As soon
-as the body's relaxed...."</p>
-
-<p>"You leave that body alone," a pert feminine voice said tartly. "That
-body happens to belong to me, for what it's worth, and I don't want it
-tampered with. I particularly don't want it relaxed. I want it alert
-and twitching in every fibre, and if you don't leave it alone I'm going
-to lay into the bunch of you bare fisted!"</p>
-
-<p>A tense silence overtook the group around the operating table. The
-doctors looked at each other, then turned to observe the dismaying
-redhead who had mysteriously appeared just behind them.</p>
-
-<p>"How did you get in here?" the first doctor said uncertainly.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm the owner of that body you are flinging about there," Toffee said
-hotly, shifting the gadget under her arm and placing a hand on her hip.
-"That body's mine right down to the last molecule and I've come to
-fight for it if I have to."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Marc sat up under the relaxed grips of the doctors, his face scarlet.
-"Why do you have to go around telling people things like that?" he
-asked plaintively.</p>
-
-<p>"I could put it another way," Toffee said. "Dirtier. For instance...."</p>
-
-<p>"No!" Marc cried. "It's dirty enough already."</p>
-
-<p>The doctor turned to Marc. "Who is this woman?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know," Marc lied quickly. "I've never seen her before in my
-life. Why don't you throw her out of here?"</p>
-
-<p>"Why, you lying old ingrate!" Toffee flamed. "For two cents I'd climb
-up there on that table and perform a few operations of my own!"</p>
-
-<p>"Madam!" Marc said distantly, "whoever you are, do you really think you
-ought to take on in public in this brazen way?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'll take you on in public, no holds barred, you thin-nosed phony,"
-Toffee gritted. "You don't know what brazen is yet!"</p>
-
-<p>The doctor turned to the nurse. "Call the orderlies and have this woman
-removed," he said. "And have them give her a blanket or something to
-wear. We can't delay the operation another moment. I'll give the
-anaesthetic myself."</p>
-
-<p>"Hey!" Marc yelled. "Toffee...."</p>
-
-<p>"Go ahead, doctor," Toffee said with evil satisfaction. "Rip him open.
-Slit him from ear to ear and top to bottom. I won't lift a finger."</p>
-
-<p>"No!" Marc cried. He turned to Toffee in panic. "It'll mean the end of
-both of us!"</p>
-
-<p>"Pardon my girlish laughter," Toffee said. "It's worth it, dogmeat,
-to see you get yours after the way you've treated me. Either you fork
-over that lanky frame of yours, or you're going to be out of frames
-entirely. That's the way it stacks up."</p>
-
-<p>"Do you have to be so vulgar about it all?" Marc asked weakly. "With
-all this talk about bodies and frames, I'm beginning to feel like just
-so many soup bones displayed on a counter."</p>
-
-<p>"That's exactly the parallel I've been searching for," Toffee said
-complacently. "In fact if there's anything vulgar in all this, it <i>is</i>
-your body. Come to think of it, it suddenly strikes me as so vulgar I'm
-no longer interested in it."</p>
-
-<p>"Please!" Marc cried as the doctors gripped him to the table. "Use that
-gadget of yours&mdash;anything! Please!"</p>
-
-<p>"Sorry, son," Toffee said. "I guess you'll remember after this never to
-forget a lady's name."</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked up and saw the mask bearing down toward his face. "Toffee!"
-he yelled. "For Pete's sake!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The mask miraculously paused in its descent, stopped. The action around
-the table came to a sharp halt. Eyes swiveled toward the door. Marc
-turned on his side just in time to observe Olliphant Gunn lumbering
-into the room under the weight of George's upper quarters.</p>
-
-<p>The nurse, her blonde hair in a state of dishevelment, followed bearing
-the feet and legs. Arriving at a position inside the door, they
-deposited their burden on the floor where it instantly curled over on
-its side and emitted a sodden snore.</p>
-
-<p>"It's Mr. Pillsworth," the nurse said breathlessly, shoving back her
-hair. "We brought him straight down without waiting for the orderlies."
-She looked up into the stunned faces staring back at her from around
-the table. Then her gaze fell to Marc.</p>
-
-<p>"My God!" she gasped.</p>
-
-<p>"Good Lord!" Marc groaned, taking in the stupid, smiling face of George.</p>
-
-<p>"Jesus!" breathed the doctor.</p>
-
-<p>"Amen," Toffee put in glibly. "Who's taking up the collection?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc turned to Toffee. "It's that gosh-awful spook again!" he breathed.
-"He would have to show up now!"</p>
-
-<p>"Actually," Toffee said, "he could not have shown up at a better time.
-I really was going to help you out, but now we have George."</p>
-
-<p>Marc's eyes brightened with slow realization. "Of course," he said,
-then turned as he felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "Yes?"</p>
-
-<p>"Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor said tensely. "You <i>are</i> Mr. Pillsworth,
-aren't you?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc smiled with hypocritical innocence. "No," he said. "That's what
-I've been trying to get through your thick skull." He pointed to
-George. "That's Pillsworth there on the floor. And if you ask me he's
-in a pretty critical condition. You'd better start sawing away at him
-right now before he pops off of natural causes and robs you of the
-sport."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my word!" the doctor gasped. "How can I ever tell you...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Come," Marc said grandly, turning to Toffee, "let's leave this
-blood-splattered slaughter house."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm all for it," Toffee said gaily. "Let's flee."</p>
-
-<p>"I thought you didn't know that woman," the doctor said confusedly.</p>
-
-<p>"I begin to recognize her now," Marc replied urbanely. "It was my
-horror at the crass brutality of the medical profession that drove her
-tender memory from my mind."</p>
-
-<p>"But, I ..." the doctor began hopelessly.</p>
-
-<p>"Say no more," Toffee said airily. "You can tell your side of it in
-court."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The two of them, linking arms, started toward the door. They were just
-about to sweep out of the room when suddenly the situation hit a new
-snag. It was at this juncture that George opened his eyes, waggled
-them around woozily, then reared up in a sitting position, staring at
-Marc.</p>
-
-<p>"You!" he said with a strangled gasp. "You're alive!" The way he said
-it, it sounded like a hideous accusation.</p>
-
-<p>Marc stopped short, caught off guard. "Of course I'm alive," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"But you can't be!" George wailed, great tears of awful disappointment
-welling in his eyes. "It isn't fair! You <i>have</i> to be dead!"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm sorry," Marc said, somewhat at a loss. "I'm not."</p>
-
-<p>"It's rotten," George said with drunken bitterness. "It's cruel. I'm
-probably the only ghost alive who's haunted by a human!"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, it's a distinction," Toffee offered hopefully.</p>
-
-<p>"Just a minute," the doctor put in suspiciously. "What's going on here?
-What are you people talking about?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc nodded sadly toward George. "The poor chap's delirious," he said.
-"We're only trying to humor him."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, yeah?" the doctor said. His gaze moved from Marc to George and
-back to Marc again. "Just which one of you really <i>is</i> Marc Pillsworth?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc and George pointed at each other in unison. "He is!" they chorused.</p>
-
-<p>The doctor passed a trembling hand over his forehead and lifted his
-gaze to the ceiling. A tremor of frustration passed through his sturdy
-frame. He turned to the small blonde.</p>
-
-<p>"Is Mrs. Pillsworth still in the waiting room?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I believe so, sir," the nurse said.</p>
-
-<p>"Will you please call her in here to make an identification?"</p>
-
-<p>"No!" Marc said, glancing uneasily in Toffee's direction. "Don't do
-that...! I mean there's no need to disturb Mrs. Pillsworth. Obviously
-this pitiful creature here on the floor is Pillsworth. Just by looking
-at him you can see he's under the weather."</p>
-
-<p>At this George drew himself up sedately, stiffling a hiccough. "Nothing
-of the sort," he said piously. "I'm in perfectly splendid condition."</p>
-
-<p>"Go ahead, nurse," the doctor said firmly. "Bring Mrs. Pillsworth."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," the nurse said, and departed.</p>
-
-<p>"But, you can't afford to delay the operation that long," Marc said.
-"You said so yourself. Anyone with half an eye can see that this poor
-man is getting more feeble by the second. You owe it to him to slit
-him open immediately...!" In speaking Marc had paused to look at
-George. The result was that the words froze on his lips. Never had he
-spoken more truly; George was not only getting more feeble but more
-non-existent by the second. His legs had evaporated to the knees, his
-arms were entirely gone. Where his eyes should have been there were
-now only empty sockets. Staring at this awesome demonstration, the
-doctor tottered slightly and braced himself against the operating table.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, good Lord!" he moaned.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop that, you coward," Marc said angrily. "Stop sneaking out like
-that!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>In response, George merely dissolved his head to a grinning skull.
-"Gotta go now," he chortled hollowly. "Gotta be corking off." He turned
-to the others and clacked his teeth menacingly. Olliphant Gunn was the
-first to snap.</p>
-
-<p>"There's just so much that human flesh and blood can stand," the poor
-man wailed, and leaping to the operating table he snatched up the
-anaesthetic mask and plunged it over his face.</p>
-
-<p>"Come on," Toffee said urgently, tugging at Marc's sleeve. "Let's get
-out of here before that cheap ghost sticks us with an operation."</p>
-
-<p>Marc jolted into action. Under Toffee's guidance, he lunged out the
-door and started down the hall.</p>
-
-<p>"Let's leave this place," Toffee said. "Let's go somewhere where we can
-have fun."</p>
-
-<p>"We can't leave like this," Marc said, indicating their brief attire.
-"We can't go out on the street half naked."</p>
-
-<p>"We can say we're artists' models on our way to work," Toffee said.
-"Come on."</p>
-
-<p>Marc didn't pause to debate the point as a cry from the operating room
-indicated that the doctors had recovered from their dismay with an
-urgent sense of loss.</p>
-
-<p>Together, he and Toffee began to run. They proceeded swiftly around a
-corner and down a flight of steps to the floor below. Suddenly Marc
-stopped.</p>
-
-<p>"What's wrong?" Toffee asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen," Marc said. "What's that?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee listened. Descending footsteps sounded on the stairs behind
-them. She whirled about. The stairway was unoccupied.</p>
-
-<p>"George," she said disgustedly. "He's following us."</p>
-
-<p>The footsteps stopped guiltily.</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Marc said, addressing himself to the empty stairs. "It's no use
-pretending you're not there. You might as well show yourself."</p>
-
-<p>A subdued hiccough echoed out of the emptiness, but that was the extent
-of George's communication.</p>
-
-<p>"If you're entertaining any notion of bumping me off so you can stay
-here," Marc warned, "just forget it. I'm alive and I intend to stay
-that way."</p>
-
-<p>"Just ignore him," Toffee said. "He's bound to get bored and go away if
-we refuse to pay any attention to him."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The discussion went no further, for suddenly there were sounds of
-approaching pursuit from above. Grabbing Toffee's arm, Marc raced
-ahead, down the hall and around another corner. A third set of
-footsteps continued to sound in their wake.</p>
-
-<p>"He's still with us," Toffee panted.</p>
-
-<p>"The vulture," Marc said. "He's just hoping they'll catch me. Run
-faster."</p>
-
-<p>Renewing their efforts, they left behind another stretch of corridor,
-turned another corner. There they stopped abruptly. Ahead a group of
-orderlies loomed before them.</p>
-
-<p>"That's them!" a young athletic type yelled. "That's Pillsworth!"</p>
-
-<p>"To hell with Pillsworth!" a companion responded. "Get the dame! She's
-practically all skin, just like they said!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc and Toffee darted back around the corner.</p>
-
-<p>"Surrounded!" Toffee panted. "I think that sums up the situation."</p>
-
-<p>"What'll we do?" Marc asked confusedly.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee pointed to a door marked JANITOR'S CLOSET. "In there," she said.
-"Quick!"</p>
-
-<p>They ran to the door, threw it open and darted inside just as their
-pursuers surged into view at either end of the hallway. They paused
-in the darkness to listen. As the sounds of the chase continued
-outside they turned their attention to their new surroundings. The
-air was close with the heady aroma of cleaning fluid, wax polish and
-disinfectant.</p>
-
-<p>"Isn't there a light in here?" Toffee asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I can't find one," Marc said. "I've looked all over."</p>
-
-<p>"Well," Toffee said, "at least it's a place to relax for a bit and
-catch our breath. I just wish it didn't smell so oppressively clean. I
-was hoping for a bit of dirt tonight&mdash;of the right sort, of course."</p>
-
-<p>"You stay on your side of the closet," Marc said, "and I'll stay on
-mine."</p>
-
-<p>"We'll never get anywhere that way," Toffee said. "Suppose Romeo had
-taken that attitude with Juliet?"</p>
-
-<p>"They'd both have lived a lot longer," Marc said.</p>
-
-<p>"I suspect that George is in here with us," Toffee said. "I fancy I
-hear him breathing back there amongst the mops and brooms."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose he is," Marc said. There was a pause, followed by a number
-of rattling sounds. "What are you doing?"</p>
-
-<p>"There's a whole shelf of bottles over there," Toffee said. "I'm just
-sniffing about to see if there's anything interesting. And there is.
-The janitor has strong tastes. Irish whiskey, I should judge, by the
-jolt of it. Have some?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Marc paused, took note of the new vapors overriding those of the
-cleaning fluids.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," he said, "it is a little drafty in this nightgown."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee handed him the bottle in the darkness. "Bottoms," she said
-pleasantly.</p>
-
-<p>"The expression," Marc said sedately, "is bottoms up."</p>
-
-<p>"Up or down," Toffee said, "it doesn't matter. I was just tossing in
-bottoms at random. Assorted bottoms, so to speak. If you prefer them
-up, you'll get no argument out of me."</p>
-
-<p>There was a smacking sound as Marc lowered the bottle from his lips.
-"Let's just skip the bottoms," he said, "and go on to something else."</p>
-
-<p>"Sounds pretty giddy," Toffee mused, "all this leaping about over
-bottoms. However...."</p>
-
-<p>"Look outside," Marc suggested wearily, "and see if they're still out
-there."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Toffee said. A small shaft of light darted in and out of the
-closet as she opened the door and closed it again. "They're churning
-about like cattle in a loading chute," she reported. "Where are you?"</p>
-
-<p>"Sitting on the floor," Marc said. "I'm beginning to find this place
-restful."</p>
-
-<p>"You're beginning to stink of Irish whiskey," Toffee said. "Stop
-gulping at that bottle like a great fish and hand it back."</p>
-
-<p>"I wonder if we should offer George a drink?" Marc said with growing
-amiability. "I definitely heard him breathing back there just now.
-Sounds a trifle wheezy, I'm afraid."</p>
-
-<p>"I think we ought to banish George from our minds," Toffee said.
-"Besides, now that I've got the bottle back I don't intend to be free
-about handing it around for quite some time."</p>
-
-<p>"All right," Marc said. "Have it your way. George is banished."</p>
-
-<p>There was a prolonged period of contented silence, broken
-intermittently by faint gurgling sounds, first from one side of the
-closet then the other. It was Toffee who finally spoke.</p>
-
-<p>"By the way," she said, "what was all that nonsense about your getting
-yourself shot?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, that," Marc said negligently. "It's a bunch of subversives.
-They have a subtle plan to poison the minds of the public against
-the government&mdash;with the government's permission. I went on the air
-to expose them, but they had me shot to stop me. There was this dark
-fellow with a scar over his left eye in the control booth...." He
-paused. "Holy smoke! I forgot. This is serious business, isn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"It sounds like it," Toffee said. "How far did you get in your
-broadcast?"</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't even get started. I suppose I ought to try to do it again."</p>
-
-<p>"If they think you're dead or dying, they won't be watching for you any
-more."</p>
-
-<p>"That's right," Marc said. "Let's get out of here."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Toffee said. "Just take your arms away from my waist so I can
-get up."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" Marc said. "I don't have my arms around your waist."</p>
-
-<p>"You haven't!" Toffee said. "Didn't you take the gadget from under my
-arm either?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course not."</p>
-
-<p>"It's that sneaky George," Toffee snorted. "And when I think of how I
-was enjoying it...!" She turned in the darkness. "Let go of me before
-I lose my temper, George. So help me, you spurious spectre, I'll twist
-your head off when I get ahold of you."</p>
-
-<p>There was no answer but apparently the threat had taken hold; there
-were sounds of Toffee getting to her feet.</p>
-
-<p>"That'll hold him," she said. "Look outside and see how things are. I
-want that gadget back."</p>
-
-<p>Marc fumbled his way to the door, opened it a crack, then shoved it all
-the way open.</p>
-
-<p>"All clear," he said and turned back to Toffee. "Can you see him back
-there? Is he visible?"</p>
-
-<p>"I can just make him out," Toffee said, peering into the back of the
-closet. "He's sort of lurking."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, you rat," Marc said. "Come out of there and give it to us. Snap
-into it."</p>
-
-<p>There were shuffling sounds from the shadows and slowly a figure
-emerged into the light. It was a dark, heavy figure. The face was
-swarthy and there was a scar over the left eye. The man leered at the
-two in the doorway.</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," he said. "Keep your shirts on. I'm going to give it to you all
-right. I'm going to give it to you good."</p>
-
-<p>He moved closer. In his left hand was Toffee's gadget, in his right an
-enormous revolver.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The swarthy man closed the door to the storeroom, locked it, and
-shaking his head, moved purposefully down the hallway to a door
-at the front of the warehouse. He stopped and knocked, and as an
-unintelligible grunt issued from inside, he opened the door and entered.</p>
-
-<p>"I got 'em," he announced.</p>
-
-<p>Across the room a portly gentleman with a white mane and great shaggy
-black eyebrows looked up from a sheaf of papers on the desk before him.</p>
-
-<p>"Them?" he said. "I told you just to pick up Pillsworth and finish him
-off."</p>
-
-<p>The swarthy man glanced away, embarrassed. "I couldn't finish him off,
-congressman. He wasn't even started. I went to the hospital, like you
-told me, to make sure about Pillsworth&mdash;and I was going along the hall
-lookin' for this place where they cut 'em up&mdash;and all of a sudden there
-was a racket like a lot of people runnin' around and yellin', so I
-ducked into this closet to keep under cover. Well, I was only in there
-a little bit when all of a sudden somebody yanks the door open and this
-guy and this dame come shaggin' in with hardly any clothes on. So I
-kept quiet and listened."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not interested in the sordid doings behind the scenes at the
-hospital," Congressman Entwerp interrupted. "Stick to the pertinent
-facts."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no, it wasn't nothin' like that. I just listened and pretty soon
-it come up in what they were sayin' that this guy with the dame is none
-other than Pillsworth himself. And believe me, congressman, I can't
-explain it, but there ain't a thing wrong with him&mdash;physically."</p>
-
-<p>"Physically?" the congressman asked. "What do you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"The guy's mentally a mess," the thug said. "So's this dame with him.
-She's a terrific lookin' little job, but crazy as a coot. It's a dirty
-shame."</p>
-
-<p>"How do you know they're crazy?"</p>
-
-<p>"Just ask Hank. He drove the car. All the way over from the hospital
-they kept talkin' to this guy who wasn't there, and bawlin' him out for
-followin' them everyplace. They called him George, and they carried on
-a regular conversation with him. It was weird, leave me tell you. But
-one thing, this guy George, whoever he is, is lucky he doesn't exist;
-the way that little dame kept tellin' him what she was going to do to
-him if he didn't show himself and help them out of this jam was enough
-to curl your hair. Pillsworth was all the time tellin' this imaginary
-character what a ghoul he was to be hangin' around just to see him get
-killed. They're both nuts, boss, an' no lie!"</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe it was just an act," Congressman Entwerp suggested skeptically.</p>
-
-<p>"I don't think so. You'd really have to feel mean to say some of the
-stuff those two was dishin' out to this George." The thug paused
-and withdrew Toffee's thought gadget from his pocket. "Look what I
-lifted off the dame in the closet." He placed it on the desk before
-the congressman. "She's plenty hot to get it back. You'd think it was
-somethin' worth somethin'."</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know. Some sort of two-way flashlight, I guess. Just a piece
-of junk."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The congressman bent his shaggy head close over the gadget and examined
-it minutely. He picked it up, weighed it in his hand, then shrugged and
-dropped it negligently into his pocket.</p>
-
-<p>"Let's have a look at these two crackpots," he said, rising from his
-chair. "We'll have to dispose of them, of course."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," the thug said. "I just hope they've got things settled with
-this George before we get there."</p>
-
-<p>Back in the storeroom, however, events were lurching ahead in a most
-uncertain manner. Things had started with an air of mild strangeness
-and mounted swiftly to a state of wild-eyed madness.</p>
-
-<p>Finding themselves confined and in the hands of blood-thirsting
-murderers, Marc and Toffee had paused only momentarily to survey their
-musty prison, the cases of wines, brandies and whiskies stacked along
-the walls, before returning to the subject uppermost in their minds.
-Toffee, doubling her fists, addressed herself to the room at large.</p>
-
-<p>"George," she said evenly, "we know you're with us. You gave yourself
-away in the car when you let that foot materialize, and you'll give
-yourself away again. And when you do, brother, I'm going to kick your
-teeth out one at a time and have them made into shirt studs. I'm going
-to...!"</p>
-
-<p>"It's no use threatening him," Marc interrupted. "He's got the
-advantage. He's just hanging around waiting for me to be killed. And
-he'll probably have his way before they're done with us."</p>
-
-<p>In answer, a stifled yawn echoed from somewhere in back of them. Toffee
-whirled about.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen to him!" she fumed. "Now he's rubbing it in! That was the most
-put-on yawn I ever heard."</p>
-
-<p>She started forward, but Marc put out a hand to stop her. He drew her
-toward the corner.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen," he said in lowered tones, "I've just thought of something.
-Maybe we can trap him."</p>
-
-<p>"We certainly should be able to," Toffee agreed hotly. "George is pure
-rat, through and through. If we only had some cheese...."</p>
-
-<p>"What about whiskey?" Marc asked. "There's plenty of it here, and where
-George is concerned it's the best bait in the world."</p>
-
-<p>"I wonder why he hasn't been at it already?" Toffee said, surveying the
-crates along the walls. "The place is practically seething with the
-stuff."</p>
-
-<p>"He's too smart," Marc said. "He doesn't want to show where he is.
-By the time he opened a crate and got the bottle out we'd have him
-located. He's afraid we'd slug him."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course we'd slug him," Toffee said. "I personally intend to bop
-the living bejesus out of him at the very first opportunity. What
-difference does that make?"</p>
-
-<p>"He knows what we're after," Marc explained. "He knows we want him to
-show himself to these people so they won't know which one of us is me.
-And look what happened to George the last time he was knocked out."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Toffee looked up with a smile of understanding. "Of course!" she said.
-"He lost control of his ectoplasm and materialized."</p>
-
-<p>"Exactly," Marc said, "and it might happen again. Then it would not
-be just a matter of confusing them with the two of us. If George
-materialized we could leave him to take the rap all by himself."</p>
-
-<p>"Wonderful!" Toffee said. "Let's do it. It would serve everybody
-right. How do we trap him?"</p>
-
-<p>"It's simple," Marc said. "We open the crates and get the bottles out
-<i>for</i> George. At first we pretend to forget about him; we sit around
-and act like we're swilling down whiskey by the gallon and having the
-time of our lives. This will drive George close to madness, locked in
-a room with two drinkers and no drop for himself. When we figure he's
-sufficiently worked up, we'll weaken and offer him a drink. He won't be
-able to resist. While one of us hands over his bottle, the other takes
-a fix on George's position and bashes the daylights out of him with
-this." Marc permitted himself a smile of pride. "You see?"</p>
-
-<p>"Marvelous," Toffee said. "I particularly love that part at the end,
-where George gets bashed. Can I be the basher?"</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Marc agreed. "Let's go. And remember, act as though you've
-never enjoyed drinking anything so much in your whole life."</p>
-
-<p>With tremendous nonchalance, the two moved across the room to the
-stacked crates.</p>
-
-<p>"My, my," Marc said in a declamatory, radio announcer's tone, "what do
-you suppose we have here in all these interesting-looking crates?"</p>
-
-<p>"I should think," Toffee said on cue, "that they contain bottles of
-fine old tangy whiskey. Of course that's just a random guess, but I
-believe it's a shrewd one. Shall we have a look?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, let's!" Marc cried, with a false grin of eagerness. He turned
-slightly in what he presumed to be George's direction. "A drink of fine
-old tangy whiskey would certainly taste mighty good just now."</p>
-
-<p>"I can think of nothing better!" Toffee said, smacking her lips loudly.
-"My mouth fairly waters!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc reached one of the crates down and, placing it on the floor, pried
-up one of the slats. He reached out two bottles and handed one toward
-Toffee.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, well," he cried with studied joviality. "Look what I found!"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee clapped her hands after the manner of a witless child. "Oh,
-goody!" she gurgled. "Some of that wonderful fine old tangy whiskey!
-Just what I hoped for!" She took the bottle, opened it and took a
-swallow. She blanched and covered her face with her hand. "Ugh!" she
-rasped.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir!" Marc said, lifting his bottle to his mouth. "Some of the
-finest, oldest and tangyest fine old tangy whiskey there is." He rolled
-his eyes in broad anticipation. "Yes, sir, bedad!"</p>
-
-<p>"It's a good thing you said that before you tasted the stuff," Toffee
-hissed between clenched teeth. "You'd never have the breath afterward."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The warning came too late; Marc had already downed a large swallow. He
-closed his eyes and gagged. Like Toffee, however, he forced a frozen
-smile through his tears and rubbed his stomach luxuriously. "Umm-umm,"
-he managed to say. "It sure hits the spot."</p>
-
-<p>"And leaves it in ruins," Toffee agreed. "They must cook this stuff up
-in old lye vats."</p>
-
-<p>"Keep drinking," Marc whispered urgently. "And look happy."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Toffee said grimly. "I'll die with a smile on my face, but
-it'll be the lie of the century." She lifted the bottle gamely and
-drank. "Oh, boy!" she rasped through drawn lips, "this whiskey is the
-answer to a drunkard's prayer."</p>
-
-<p>Marc drank dutifully in turn. "You said it!" he announced, tears
-streaming from his eyes. "It's delicious!"</p>
-
-<p>"I could go on drinking it forever," Toffee wheezed, taking another
-gulp and clutching her throat. "It's so smooth!"</p>
-
-<p>"Makes you want more and more," Marc said, shaking his head to clear it
-after a third libation. "It gives you a real boost."</p>
-
-<p>"Let's not carry it too far," Toffee whispered. "If I drink any more of
-this mange medicine I won't be able to hit the barnside of a broad."</p>
-
-<p>"Broadside of a barn," Marc corrected her weakly. "But you're right.
-We'd better make the pitch while we're still conscious."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded and made a great show of registering happy inspiration.
-"Say," she cried, "you know who would just love this whiskey?"</p>
-
-<p>"No," Marc replied like the second part in a minstrel skit. "Who?"</p>
-
-<p>"George!" Toffee said. "You remember good old George?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc nodded vigorously. "Wouldn't he be just crazy about whiskey like
-this?"</p>
-
-<p>"He certainly would. Crazy mad, he'd be. Isn't it too bad he's not
-here?" Then Toffee brightened. "But perhaps he is! You never can tell
-about good old George."</p>
-
-<p>"But when we were talking to him earlier he didn't answer."</p>
-
-<p>"Perhaps he misunderstood something one of us said," Toffee suggested.
-"Maybe he didn't understand our type of humor and got offended. You
-know, like when I said I was going to gouge his eyes out? A harmless
-remark to most people, but perhaps not so to good old George."</p>
-
-<p>"True," Marc said sagely. "George always was sensitive." He glanced
-around the room. "George?" he called. "If you're here, old man, how
-about having a drink with us? If we said anything to hurt your feelings
-we certainly didn't mean to."</p>
-
-<p>He paused to listen. There was a hesitant shuffling across the room.</p>
-
-<p>"Well ..." a voice said uneasily.</p>
-
-<p>Marc and Toffee exchanged glances of triumph.</p>
-
-<p>"You mustn't miss out on this, old man," Marc cajoled. "You really
-mustn't."</p>
-
-<p>"And it will make such a nice friendly gesture," Toffee put in, "to
-show that you forgive us our thoughtless little jibes."</p>
-
-<p>"Well," the voice returned, a shade less hesitant. "I am a little dry."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course you are," Marc said jovially, "and we have the very thing to
-bring you comfort and contentment. Just step over here and I'll give
-you this whole bottle."</p>
-
-<p>"No tricks?" George asked warily.</p>
-
-<p>"George!" Toffee said, thoroughly scandalized, "how can you even
-entertain such a notion?"</p>
-
-<p>"Just to show you," Marc said, "why don't you stay invisible? You're
-perfectly safe that way."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," George agreed. "Just hold out the bottle."</p>
-
-<p>"Right-oh," Marc said and turned to Toffee. "Give it everything," he
-whispered. Toffee nodded.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>As Marc held out the bottle, Toffee sighted on the area in line with
-his hand, on the principle that George, being a duplicate of Marc, his
-head would be on the same level. The best strategy, she felt, was to
-concentrate on this area as swiftly and violently as possible. She held
-the bottle in readiness and when, a moment later, the bottle jogged in
-Marc's hand, she was prepared. She swung as hard as she could in a wide
-horizontal swipe. About half way, the bottle jarred to an abrupt stop
-and shattered, spewing liquid and glass in all directions. This was
-subsequently followed by a surprised moan and a heavy thudding sound in
-the vicinity of the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"Got him!" Toffee cried jubilantly. "Smashed him right on the button!"
-She dropped the jagged neck of the bottle daintily to the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"He's still invisible," Marc said worriedly. "I hope there'll be
-developments."</p>
-
-<p>Developments came almost immediately, and they were well worth
-watching, though hardly the sight for sore eyes. Marc's calculations
-had been correct. Surprised, as it were, into unconsciousness, George
-had completely lost control of his ectoplasm. The trouble, though,
-was that instead of splashing out through his body all of a piece, it
-trickled out in fits and starts.</p>
-
-<p>What appeared on the floor, under Marc's and Toffee's watchful eyes,
-was not George in total, but a sort of jig-saw George in which many
-of the vital pieces had been omitted. While one could be grateful for
-George's head, there was bound to be a pang of regret for the neck
-which had failed to appear.</p>
-
-<p>An arm lay to the left, with only a finger or two to indicate that it
-had once blossomed a hand. Had there ever been an expression to the
-effect that half a torso was better than none, George had disproved
-it beyond measure; a torso, apparently severed from the collar bone
-to the mid-riff was so much worse than no torso at all as to be
-positively hair-raising. A random foot here, an errant knee cap there
-only garnished the over-all picture of hideous human butchery. With a
-shudder of revulsion, Toffee turned from the awful sight.</p>
-
-<p>"Leave it to George," she said, "just leave it to that monster to be as
-revolting as possible."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't suppose it's really his fault," Marc said fairly, "but I wish
-he were invisible again."</p>
-
-<p>It was at this moment that the congressman and his henchman, having
-completed their discussion in the front of the warehouse, arrived at
-the door of the storeroom and fitted a key to the lock.</p>
-
-<p>"Duck!" Toffee said. "Get behind those crates!"</p>
-
-<p>"What about you?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm going to get my invention back. Besides they can't hurt me, and
-the important thing is to give you a chance to escape."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay," Marc nodded and faded into the dimness behind the crates.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Toffee moved to the nearest stack of boxes, boosted herself atop them
-and leaned back in an attitude of relaxed languor. She watched from
-the corner of her eye as the door swung open and the congressman and
-the thug advanced into the room. She lifted her gaze dreamily to the
-ceiling and began to hum quietly to herself.</p>
-
-<p>"There she is, boss," the thug said. "There's the dame, up there."</p>
-
-<p>"My word!" Congressman Entwerp said. "Where did Pillsworth ever pick
-her up?"</p>
-
-<p>"In a Turkish bath, I guess, before they passed out the towels."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee turned slowly and observed the two with heavy disdain.</p>
-
-<p>"Please be quiet," she drawled, "you're disturbing my meditations."</p>
-
-<p>"Where's Pillsworth?" the thug asked.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee shrugged. "Somewhere around, I suppose."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, sister," the thug growled, "cut out the jazz. Where is he?"</p>
-
-<p>"You're sure you want to know?"</p>
-
-<p>"We insist," Congressman Entwerp said.</p>
-
-<p>"Then just step nearer," Toffee said with an airy wave, "and feast your
-eyes. You will find Mr. Pillsworth&mdash;more or less&mdash;on the floor, just to
-the right of these boxes. I'm sure you'll excuse him if he doesn't rise
-to greet you."</p>
-
-<p>Warily, the two men edged closer. Then suddenly the thug, catching
-sight of George in his disconnected condition, stopped short. His mouth
-worked soundlessly, and his eyes rolled loosely in their sockets. The
-congressman, not yet aware of George, looked at him.</p>
-
-<p>"What's the matter with you?" he asked shortly. "Why are you standing
-there making faces? Stop that and...!"</p>
-
-<p>The tirade ended abruptly as the congressman's gaze fell to George. He
-lost his breath in a thin wheeze.</p>
-
-<p>For a long moment the two men simply goggled, then slowly they turned
-away.</p>
-
-<p>"You fool!" the congressman screamed. "I only told you to finish him
-off, not to hack him up into cutlets!"</p>
-
-<p>"But I didn't!" the thug said shakenly. "He was all right when I locked
-him in here."</p>
-
-<p>"Then, who...!"</p>
-
-<p>Together, the two of them turned and regarded Toffee with incredulous
-eyes. Toffee returned their stares with innocent directness.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, gentlemen?" she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>"Did you...?" the congressman began, then broke off with a shudder.</p>
-
-<p>"Did I what?" Toffee asked demurely.</p>
-
-<p>"What the congressman means," the thug said in a whisper, "is did
-you ... do <i>that</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, that," Toffee said. She returned her gaze thoughtfully to the
-ceiling as though trying to remember. Finally she shook her head. "No,"
-she said. "I'm certain that's not one of my jobs. Too messy."</p>
-
-<p>The men gaped.</p>
-
-<p>"Holy smoke!" the thug quavered. "What happened to him?"</p>
-
-<p>"Who knows?" Toffee shrugged. "Maybe he has some horrible disease. I
-figure it's his business."</p>
-
-<p>"Good God!" the congressman breathed. "We've got to get him off our
-hands. We'll have to be careful, though. The hospital has the entire
-police force out looking for him. It's on the radio. If we were caught
-with him in that condition the party wouldn't like it."</p>
-
-<p>"Nobody would like it," the thug said. "Shall we dump him in the river?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The congressman shook his head. "Too many patrolmen around. There must
-be...." His voice trailed off into thoughtful silence. Finally he
-nodded with decision. "We won't try to hide him. We'll deliver him to
-the police just as he is&mdash;in an automobile crash. The girl too."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" the thug said. "How do you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"It's simple enough. Pillsworth looks like a crash victim, so why don't
-we just let him be one? Go get a sack or something to carry him out
-in." He turned and moved toward the door. "I'll have Hank fix up one of
-the cars."</p>
-
-<p>"Good night, boss," the thug said plaintively, following after him,
-"you mean I've got to pick him up&mdash;with my hands!"</p>
-
-<p>The moment they were gone, locking the door after them, Toffee jumped
-down from her perch and Marc appeared from the shadows.</p>
-
-<p>"Do you know who that was?" Marc asked excitedly.</p>
-
-<p>"The old bird with the sable hair-do?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc nodded. "It's Congressman Entwerp. I should have known he was
-behind this mess. And that isn't all; those crates of cheap whiskey are
-just a front. Underneath there's enough bacteria culture to wipe out
-the whole country. These boys are planning mass murder!"</p>
-
-<p>"Also individual murder," Toffee said.</p>
-
-<p>"What?"</p>
-
-<p>"They're going to arrange an auto crash. When the wreckage is sorted
-out George and I will be prominent amongst the demolished extras."</p>
-
-<p>"Good grief!"</p>
-
-<p>"It's nothing to worry about," Toffee said. "After all, they can't
-possibly kill me&mdash;or George either, for that matter. In the meantime
-you can contact the police and see that they're arrested. There's
-just one thing though; you're going to have to get the police without
-letting the police get you."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?"</p>
-
-<p>"It seems the entire force is out scouring the city for you, and I get
-the impression that they're supposed to rush you along to the operating
-room without messing around with any conversation."</p>
-
-<p>"Golly," Marc said. "How am I going to work it? Even if I get a chance
-to tell them about Entwerp, they'll just think I'm delirious."</p>
-
-<p>"Be your own bait," Toffee suggested. "Entwerp will be busy murdering
-George and me. All you have to do is get the cops to chase you to
-the scene of the crime so they can catch him red-handed. I'll see to
-it that the door's left unlocked long enough for you to get out of
-here...." She stopped as the key sounded again in the lock. "Anyway,
-work it out as you go along, and I'll see you later..."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"What took so long?" the congressman demanded. He was standing by the
-green sedan, holding the door open.</p>
-
-<p>"It was the dame," the thug said breathlessly. "When I turned to lock
-up the storeroom, she let out a yip and took off. I had to chase her
-all over the joint before I caught her."</p>
-
-<p>At his side, Toffee shook her head to get the hair out of her eyes. "I
-just wanted a little exercise to get up the circulation," she said.</p>
-
-<p>"We certainly circulated," the thug agreed sourly. "All over the place."</p>
-
-<p>"You didn't leave the storeroom open?" the congressman asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I went back and locked it."</p>
-
-<p>"I see you got Pillsworth in the car."</p>
-
-<p>"Yeah," the thug said. "But he handled awful funny, like he was all
-strung together with invisible wire. I had a job spreadin' him out in
-the seat."</p>
-
-<p>The congressman looked at him sharply. "You've probably been drinking
-that dummy whiskey again," he said. "Anyway, let's get going. The girl
-will have to drive."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know how to drive," Toffee said. "Besides, I haven't got a
-license."</p>
-
-<p>"Never mind, sister," the thug said, "that's even better." He nudged
-her toward the door of the car, as the congressman moved off into the
-night. Toffee gazed inward at the dismembered George sprawled across
-the seat.</p>
-
-<p>"Do I have to get in there with him?" she asked.</p>
-
-<p>"The boss doesn't want you to be lonesome," the thug said.</p>
-
-<p>"I'd rather be lonesome," Toffee said, but she got into the car anyway.</p>
-
-<p>The thug closed the door after her and leaned through the window.</p>
-
-<p>"Just so you'll know," he said, "I'd better explain. This car hasn't
-any brakes, and the steering is fixed. It's okay now, but after a few
-minutes it will break and the car will be out of control. We have it
-timed out with the curve at the end of the speedway, the one called
-Dead Man's Curve. By the time you reach that the wheel will be just
-about as much good to you as a set of knitting needles. In other words,
-you're going to drive due south with your foot to the floor and crack
-up on the curve. No one's missed that curve yet and lived."</p>
-
-<p>"There's always a first time," Toffee said brightly.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't count on it, sugar. And just to make sure you do what you're
-told, the congressman and me will be alongside in the congressman's
-car. I personally will be holding a rod aimed at your head, so don't
-get notions. Also, we want to be around to report the accident."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded approvingly. "It only seems the sort of thing any good
-citizen would do," she said.</p>
-
-<p>The gunman stared at her. "Too bad a good looking dame like you has to
-be so wacky."</p>
-
-<p>"We all have our little flaws," Toffee said chattily. "That's life."</p>
-
-<p>"Aren't you even worried?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee shook her head. "I've always wanted to learn to drive," she
-said, smiling.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my God!" the thug moaned. "Maybe, it's best; you're sure to kill
-yourself sooner or later anyway."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course," Toffee said, patting his hand. "I don't want you to blame
-yourself. Just consider you're doing a public service."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Meanwhile, a lanky figure had emerged warily from the warehouse and
-was lurking, in a twitchy sort of way, in the dimness of the alley.
-Obscured in shadow, Marc had watched Toffee get into the green sedan,
-the thug instructing her in the art of driving. He glanced anxiously
-down the street, praying for a police car.</p>
-
-<p>A small coupe, with a man and woman inside, pulled up to the curb at
-the end of the block, and the man got out and disappeared into the
-telegraph office on the corner. But that was all.</p>
-
-<p>Marc jumped as he heard the green sedan start up. He turned to see a
-black limousine, driven by the congressman, pull up beside it. The
-thug crossed and got inside and a moment later the barrel of a gun
-caught light from the window. Time was seeping out.</p>
-
-<p>Ducking from cover, Marc raced for the coupe and the waiting woman on
-the corner. Reaching it, he threw the door open and jumped inside. The
-woman, a faded blonde, pressed back against the seat with a startled
-cry. Marc, however, was too relieved at finding the key in the ignition
-to notice.</p>
-
-<p>He started the car, threw it into gear and set it in motion almost in
-a single action. The woman's reaction to this was a shrill, braying
-scream.</p>
-
-<p>"Please," Marc said distractedly. "Don't." The woman screamed again.
-"Do you have to do that?" he asked annoyedly.</p>
-
-<p>"I have to do something, don't I?" the woman enquired wretchedly. "I
-can't just sit here, can I?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't see why not," Marc said, peering down the street intently. "It
-doesn't help anything to scream like that."</p>
-
-<p>"It helps me plenty," the woman retorted hotly. "When naked men come
-leaping into a lady's car and driving her off to God knows what, it
-gives her a great satisfaction to scream." As though to prove her point
-she paused to scream again. "Anyway, it makes her feel a hell of a lot
-better."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't see why," Marc said with rising irritation.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, put yourself in my place," the woman snapped. "What would you
-do if a naked man came leaping into your car?"</p>
-
-<p>"Naked men don't leap into my car." Marc said self-righteously. "I
-wouldn't let them."</p>
-
-<p>"Are you suggesting that I invite naked men to come leaping into my
-car?" the woman asked frigidly. "I'll have you know...."</p>
-
-<p>"The way you carry on about it," Marc said, "one just automatically
-draws his own conclusions. One pictures a whole procession of naked men
-just waiting their turn to leap into your car, you're such an authority
-on these occasions."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>For a moment the blonde fell into a sulky silence. She glanced out the
-window at the rapidly passing scenery.</p>
-
-<p>"What I want to know," she said at length, "is what is my husband going
-to say."</p>
-
-<p>"Not knowing your husband," Marc said, "I'm in no position to guess. If
-I were you I'd judge by the way he's expressed himself on other similar
-occasions."</p>
-
-<p>"There you go again," the woman said, "insulting me. Where are you
-taking me?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not taking you anywhere," Marc said. "I'm taking myself. You just
-happened to be here."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh," the woman said, not, it seemed, without a touch of
-disappointment. There was another lapse of silence.</p>
-
-<p>"Do you know where there's a cop?" Marc asked, after a few more blocks.</p>
-
-<p>"If I did," the woman said, "I'd be with him instead of you. What do
-you want with a cop?"</p>
-
-<p>"I've got to find one," Marc said anxiously. "It means everything."</p>
-
-<p>By this time the woman had resigned herself to the unhappy fact that
-she was out for a spin with a raving lunatic. She nodded sagely, as
-though agreeing with this last remark entirely.</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," she said, "sometimes I feel that way myself. Cops are
-everything. It just sweeps over me all of a heap."</p>
-
-<p>"What sweeps over you?" Marc asked absently.</p>
-
-<p>"Cops," the woman said.</p>
-
-<p>"Do you think you ought to be making these little confessions to a
-total stranger?" Marc asked distastefully. "Or do you mean your husband
-is a cop?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course not," the woman said. "My husband is a butcher. What's that
-got to do with it? I was just saying that sometimes cops just seem to
-surge over me." She giggled with nervous desperation. "A sort of blue
-serge, you might say."</p>
-
-<p>"Well," Marc said, "since you seem to know all these cops so well, you
-ought to be able to tell me where they hang out."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know all these cops," the woman said.</p>
-
-<p>"You mean they're a bunch of total strangers?" Marc asked, thoroughly
-shocked. "My word!"</p>
-
-<p>"Couldn't we just drop the subject?" the woman asked defeatedly. "I'm
-all confused somehow."</p>
-
-<p>"I should think you would be confused," Marc agreed. His voice trailed
-away on a rising inflection as he spotted a police car parked at the
-curb across the street. "Cops!" he breathed. He glanced ahead. "You see
-that green sedan up ahead with the black limousine beside it?"</p>
-
-<p>The woman nodded vaguely. "The one that just cut up over the sidewalk?
-What about it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Keep your eye on it," Marc instructed, "while I get the cop's
-attention. It's a matter of life and death."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The green sedan, as it turned out, was eminently worth keeping an
-eye on. Toffee, beleaguered as she was with the mechanics of keeping
-the vehicle in motion, had come upon other problems. Early in the
-game, feeling vague stirrings at her side, she had looked around to
-see George's dismembered head yawn thickly and open its eyes. Then,
-as if this wasn't loathsome enough, a set of fingers wriggled to the
-edge of the seat, gripped it and boosted the halved torso around so
-that the disjointed feet dropped to the floor. George, rising from
-unconsciousness had hauled himself into a sitting position. Toffee
-looked on this development without favor.</p>
-
-<p>"Stay down, George," she hissed. "Get back where you were."</p>
-
-<p>The head swiveled around hideously, a wounded look in its eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, it's you, is it?" he said sadly. "You hit me."</p>
-
-<p>"And I'll hit you again," Toffee promised, "if you don't get down."</p>
-
-<p>George merely looked baffled at this. "Where are we goin'?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"To an accident," Toffee said.</p>
-
-<p>George's face brightened. "Was Marc in it?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"It hasn't happened yet," Toffee explained. "We're going to be in it,
-you and I. In fact, we're the whole accident."</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" George said, edging up a bit. "Us?"</p>
-
-<p>"That's right," Toffee nodded. "They figure we know too much."</p>
-
-<p>"Too much about what?"</p>
-
-<p>"About this subversive business," Toffee said. "They think we know
-their plan to overthrow the government."</p>
-
-<p>"So they're going to kill us in an accident?"</p>
-
-<p>"Uh-huh."</p>
-
-<p>"Aren't you scared?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee shrugged. "Why should I be? I'm a product of Marc's mind. I
-can't possibly be destroyed unless he is. And he's perfectly safe."</p>
-
-<p>"He is?" George said, his voice heavy with disappointment. "Why don't
-these people want to kill him?"</p>
-
-<p>"They think they are killing him," Toffee said. "They think you're
-Marc. In fact they believe you're already dead."</p>
-
-<p>"What!" George cried. "You mean I'm acting as a decoy to save Marc's
-life?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded smugly. "Some onions, eh, George?"</p>
-
-<p>"Stop the car!" George shouted. "Let me out!"</p>
-
-<p>"No brakes," Toffee said. She nodded toward the limousine. "Besides,
-they won't let me. You'd better get down in the seat or they'll think
-it's funny."</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>"I hope they do," George said sullenly. "I hope they think it's funny
-as hell and do something about it. It's so damned unfair." And with
-that he leaned across Toffee, jutted his head out the window and began
-baying in the direction of the limousine.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop that!" Toffee said. "It sounds awful."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>George swiveled his frightful head around in her direction. "It
-should," he said. "It's the <i>Torment Lament</i>. I learned it in the
-Moaning Chorus and it's guaranteed to drive you mad in nothing flat."
-He turned back to the night and the limousine and sent his voice
-wailing into the wind.</p>
-
-<p>It was an effort that was not lost on its audience. The occupants of
-the limousine looked around sharply with horrified eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"Jesus in Heaven!" the thug gasped.</p>
-
-<p>At his side the congressman was so taken with the fearsome recital that
-he completely forgot he was driving. As the car careened dangerously,
-the thug reached out and pulled the wheel.</p>
-
-<p>"Isn't it awful, boss?" he breathed.</p>
-
-<p>"Awful doesn't begin to tell it," the congressman choked. "It's&mdash;it's
-<i>awful</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yeah. That's what I mean to say."</p>
-
-<p>"How can anything sound like that?" the congressman asked hauntedly.</p>
-
-<p>"If it can look like that," the thug said, "I guess it shouldn't have
-no trouble soundin' like that."</p>
-
-<p>"And look at that girl, will you? She's actually talking to the filthy
-thing."</p>
-
-<p>"She looks plenty hot under the collar."</p>
-
-<p>"Why not? I'd be sore as hell myself."</p>
-
-<p>"When do we get to the curve, boss?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know," the congressman said. "But I can't wait. The sooner
-that car crashes and takes that frightful thing with it the better."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Meanwhile, as the two cars skidded and reeled toward the appointed spot
-of disaster, Marc continued to loiter several blocks behind. Having
-deliberately cut across traffic in the middle of the block, he pulled
-up beside the police car and leaned out the window.</p>
-
-<p>"I just cut across traffic!" he called out.</p>
-
-<p>The cop behind the wheel left his conversation with his companion and
-observed Marc dubiously.</p>
-
-<p>"So what?" he asked. "You want me to give you a gold star on your
-driver's license?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't have a driver's license," Marc offered hopefully. "What are
-you going to do about it, you big, thick-headed slob?"</p>
-
-<p>The cop turned back to his partner. "A kidder, we've got here," he
-said. He turned back to Marc. "Beat it, comedian, you and your girl
-friend take off."</p>
-
-<p>"Aren't you going to chase me?" Marc asked. "I'm a lawbreaker."</p>
-
-<p>"Move along, chum," the cop drawled, "before I sell you a ticket to the
-orphan's picnic."</p>
-
-<p>"But you've <i>got</i> to chase me," Marc said urgently.</p>
-
-<p>"No I don't, friend," the cop said. "I've got to sit here and listen
-for radio leads on this goofy Pillsworth guy."</p>
-
-<p>"But that's me!" Marc said. "I'm Pillsworth!"</p>
-
-<p>The cop looked at him with forced patience. "Sure, sure," he said. "And
-I'm Miss Atlantic City. Beat it." He turned back to his companion.</p>
-
-<p>"What if I told you I knew where a murder was going to happen?" Marc
-ventured.</p>
-
-<p>The cop looked around. "You're just full of news, aren't you?" he said,
-and turned away again.</p>
-
-<p>For a moment Marc sat in silent indecision. Then he turned to the
-blonde.</p>
-
-<p>"Why don't you scream?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Why should I?" the woman asked interestedly. "Do you really know where
-a murder's going to happen?"</p>
-
-<p>"You said screaming made you feel good," Marc suggested.</p>
-
-<p>"I feel fine," the woman said. "I always do with a lot of stuff going
-on. Who's going to get murdered?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc glanced desperately from the woman to the cops and back again. A
-determined look came into his eyes. He cautiously extended two fingers
-to the woman's thigh. "I'm sorry," he said, and pinched as hard as he
-could.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The results were everything to be wished for&mdash;and more. Stiffening in
-her seat, the woman let out a bleat that surpassed even her previous
-efforts. Even George might have envied the torment in her voice as it
-soared, swooped, scaled the heights and dipped into soul-shattering
-depths. At its completion, the blonde turned and took a clawing swipe
-at Marc's face.</p>
-
-<p>Marc ducked. "That's the stuff!" he said happily, noting from the
-corner of his eye that he had finally gained the undivided attention
-of the police force. Pinching the blonde again and nodding his
-satisfaction at the second chorus, he threw the coupe into gear, cut
-across traffic and headed down the speedway. It was only a moment
-before the wail of a siren mingled with the shrill vocalizations of
-his companion. He pushed the gas feed to the floor.</p>
-
-<p>To the witnesses along the speedway, the pedestrians, the vendors, the
-shop owners and just plain malingerers, the events of the evening were
-never entirely clear. Some, judging simply by the volume of noise,
-settled for the notion that what had passed was nothing more than an
-overly exuberant wedding procession. The sticklers, however, rejected
-this notion flatly, pointing to the significant details of the affair.</p>
-
-<p>Which, they demanded to know, was the wedding couple? Certainly it
-couldn't have been the redhead and the wailing man in the green sedan;
-certainly no bride&mdash;or at least very few&mdash;had ever used that kind
-of language to her groom on the wedding night. And it took the most
-wretched husband years to achieve the note of despair which this poor
-fellow was loosing on the evening air.</p>
-
-<p>As for the black limousine, that was out. Though its occupants seemed
-locked together in some sort of mad embrace, the arrangement appeared
-to have its roots in terror rather than affection.</p>
-
-<p>The couple in the coupe that followed was even more difficult to wedge
-into the picture of the young couple united. After all, wasn't she
-screaming her lungs out and hammering on his head with both fists?</p>
-
-<p>As for the police who followed&mdash;and they probably knew the truth of the
-matter&mdash;they looked shocked to the core. So there simply wasn't any
-answer for it until the morning papers came out.</p>
-
-<p>The participants in the demented chase along the speedway, however,
-were far too engrossed in their own problems to care for the conflict
-they introduced into the lives of innocent bystanders. Toffee, for one,
-could not have been less concerned; she was too mad at George.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop that caterwauling!" she yelled. "Stop it, you idiot."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>George pulled his disconnected head inside the window and eyed Toffee
-owlishly. His other parts adjusted themselves and the head sank into
-Toffee's lap. There, gazing up at her, it lazily crossed its eyes and
-began to whimper piteously.</p>
-
-<p>"Ugh!" Toffee cried. "I'll go mad!"</p>
-
-<p>The head relaxed its face obligingly into an expression of
-feeble-minded delight, letting its tongue loll loosely from the corner
-of its mouth.</p>
-
-<p>"That's all!" Toffee screamed. "I'm getting out of here!"</p>
-
-<p>Without further consideration for the occupants of the limousine and
-the approaching curve, she relinquished the wheel, threw the car door
-open, and with one last agonized glance at the loathsome head, which
-was now foaming prettily at the mouth, prepared to depart its company.
-In the limousine this bit of action was not unobserved.</p>
-
-<p>"She's trying to get away!" the congressman yelled. "Stop her!"</p>
-
-<p>The thug turned to the window and looked. "Get back!" he hollered. "Get
-back or I'll blast you!"</p>
-
-<p>"Go ahead," Toffee cried. "It'll be a positive pleasure next to what
-I've just been through."</p>
-
-<p>"Okay!" the thug said grimly. "You asked for it!"</p>
-
-<p>His finger closed down on the trigger. It was just at that moment,
-however, that the green sedan, no longer benefitted by a driver,
-swerved toward the limousine, throwing Toffee back inside. The
-congressman cramped the wheel of the limousine sharply to avoid a
-crash. The gunman, thrown sharply against the door, fired wildly into
-the night. From the rear there was the sound of screeching tires and
-forced brakes.</p>
-
-<p>"Good night!" the congressman panted, righting the limousine as the
-green sedan veered away again. "What did you hit?"</p>
-
-<p>"I think it was that coupe back there," the thug said, peering out the
-window. "I must have hit a tire: it's out of control."</p>
-
-<p>"Good Lord!" the congressman yelled, "the curve's right ahead! We're
-pinned in between them. We're going to crash. Everybody's going to
-crash!"</p>
-
-<p>No sooner was this dire prediction out of the congressman's mouth than
-it became a deafening reality. Ahead, the green sedan raced headlong
-into the concrete embankment with a rending smash and almost literally
-flattened itself into two dimensions.</p>
-
-<p>This was the signal for the two lesser crashes that followed. The
-limousine engaged its radiator forcibly into the wreckage just in time
-to receive a skidding broadside from the coupe.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A moment of silence followed, emphasized by the approaching scream of a
-siren. The police car jolted to a stop and the two cops ran forward to
-the scene of destruction. They reached the coupe first.</p>
-
-<p>"Here!" the first cop said. "What's going on?"</p>
-
-<p>The faded blonde jutted her head out of the window. "He blew out my
-tire!" she rasped. "Not to mention all that pinching!"</p>
-
-<p>"Pinching?" the cop asked curiously. "What kind of pinching, lady?
-Where?"</p>
-
-<p>"All kinds of pinching," the woman said evilly. "Everywhere."</p>
-
-<p>The cop peered at Marc. "Why's he dressed in that nightshirt?"</p>
-
-<p>"How should I know?" the woman said. "Maybe he thinks he's cute or
-something."</p>
-
-<p>The cop leaned closer. "Here, you," he said, "why are you dressed like
-that?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm tired," Marc said exhaustedly, "and I want to go to bed. I had a
-little drink about an hour ago...."</p>
-
-<p>"Stop that now," the cop barked. "No nonsense."</p>
-
-<p>"But it's all perfectly true," Marc said.</p>
-
-<p>The cop started to speak further, but he caught sight of the
-congressman and his companion climbing out of the limousine and tore
-himself away.</p>
-
-<p>"There are people dying in that car!" the congressman shouted
-tragically, hurrying forward. "It's awful, officer!"</p>
-
-<p>"All maimed and cut up," the thug put in. "Loose heads and legs and
-stuff all over the place."</p>
-
-<p>"Have you seen them?" the policeman asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, they must be," the congressman put in quickly. "How could it be
-otherwise? The man in the car is Marc Pillsworth. I saw him just before
-the crash."</p>
-
-<p>The policeman did a take. "Yeah?"</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," the thug said excitedly. "Only now he's all cut up&mdash;loose head
-and arms and...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Shut up," the congressman snapped.</p>
-
-<p>"They might still be alive," the cop said. "We've got to do something
-about it."</p>
-
-<p>"Indeed we do," the congressman said. "Perhaps we can assist them."</p>
-
-<p>"Come on," the cop said. "You can give a hand."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Dutifully the three turned to the sedan. They turned and then stopped
-with a harmonized gasp, the cop taking the bass. In the moment of
-their turning there had been a sudden movement in the car and the
-door had swung partially open. In the opening there appeared a leg of
-provocative shapeliness.</p>
-
-<p>"A leg!" the thug shuddered. "I told you!"</p>
-
-<p>"A dame's leg," the cop breathed. "And just think what the rest of her
-must have been like with a leg like that! Just imagine...!" He sucked
-in his breath as the leg began to show unexpected signs of life. It
-quivered, turned and was quickly joined by a mate of equal perfection.
-It was only a moment before Toffee appeared in total, quite unmarked.
-Her mood, however, was hostile. Quitting the ruined car she turned back
-to the door and thrust her head inside.</p>
-
-<p>"Of all the beastly, rotten, evil-minded, stinking things to do to a
-girl!" she snapped. "Come out of there you slimy-souled son of Satan
-and fight like a man. I'll teach you to make foul passes at a girl when
-she is stuck under a clutch. I'll show you...!"</p>
-
-<p>"Good gosh!" the cop said. "Who's she talking to?"</p>
-
-<p>"She must be hysterical," the congressman said, thoroughly shaken.
-"Probably got a crack on the head and isn't accountable for what she's
-saying."</p>
-
-<p>"That's certainly no way to talk to the dead," the cop said.</p>
-
-<p>"It's no way to talk to the living," the thug said. "If she hauled off
-at me like that I'd rather be dead."</p>
-
-<p>"The poor child's obviously insane," the congressman said firmly.
-"There's no question about it."</p>
-
-<p>Meanwhile Toffee was still at it. "Come out of there, you hulking
-lout," she grated, "before I come in there and drag you out by your
-ears!"</p>
-
-<p>"Poor little thing," the cop said sadly. "She really believes Mr.
-Pillsworth can come out of that car. She refuses to believe he's dead."</p>
-
-<p>By now Toffee had stepped forward and yanked the door all the way
-open. As the three in the background stared in varying degrees of
-apprehension, a thin figure in a brief linen gown crawled out on its
-hands and knees. The congressman swayed slightly as though about to
-faint.</p>
-
-<p>"You look more natural down on all fours, you beast," Toffee rasped.
-"I ought to kick you right in the slats. Get up and try to face me if
-you've the nerve!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Apparently the shock of the accident had given George's ectoplasm a
-further jolt for now he was completely materialized. He looked up at
-Toffee ruefully and got to his feet.</p>
-
-<p>"I was only trying to get you loose," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"The way you were pawing me was enough to get any girl loose," Toffee
-said. "Just don't try it again."</p>
-
-<p>"Gawd a'mighty!" the thug whispered. "Pillsworth!"</p>
-
-<p>"Pillsworth?" the cop said. "But that's the same guy who was pinching
-the other dame in the coupe. My gosh! how he gets around!"</p>
-
-<p>Just then the other policeman, who had retreated to the background,
-arrived on the scene with Marc and the blonde in custody.</p>
-
-<p>"Hey," he said, "I caught this creep on the creep. He was trying to
-sneak out."</p>
-
-<p>The cop looked quickly at Marc, then back to George. "It's the same
-guy!" he said. "Which one of you birds is Pillsworth?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc and George went smoothly into their routine of pointing to each
-other in unison.</p>
-
-<p>"He is!" they said.</p>
-
-<p>The cop turned to Toffee. "Do you know which is which?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," Toffee said and nodded at George. "He's Pillsworth."</p>
-
-<p>"She's crazy," George retorted hotly. "She's as crazy as bedbugs in a
-bathtub."</p>
-
-<p>"That's right," the thug put in. "She's a looney if there ever was one."</p>
-
-<p>Marc moved urgently to gain the cop's attention. "You've got to arrest
-that man," he said, pointing at the congressman. "He's a subversive and
-a murderer."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The congressman whirled about. "You must be insane, sir!" he rasped in
-frantic denial.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>You</i> must be," Marc said. "You must have been ripe for the hatch
-years ago."</p>
-
-<p>"You're a fine one to talk," the blonde put in nastily. "Officer, this
-man is off his rocker like a busted hobby horse. He's done nothing but
-pinch me ever since we met."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee levelled her gaze at Marc. "What were you doing pinching that
-tomato?" she demanded. "Just what were you getting at?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, don't be crazy," Marc said distractedly.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, so I'm crazy, am I?" Toffee said, doubling her fists.</p>
-
-<p>"You sure are, sister," the thug put in. "You're the most hopped up
-dame I ever saw." He turned to the cop. "She ought to be locked up."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, yeah?" Toffee said. "At least I didn't put anyone in a busted car
-and send them off to get killed. Officer, I want you to arrest that
-killer."</p>
-
-<p>"Look, officer," Marc insisted, "you've got to take this man into
-custody. He's a menace to the whole country."</p>
-
-<p>"If you take anyone in, officer," the blonde put in harshly, "make it
-this skinny bimbo. Pinch him like he pinched me."</p>
-
-<p>The congressman moved in aggressively toward Marc. "You're making
-slanderous accusations!" he blustered. "You should be committed to an
-institution!"</p>
-
-<p>"You're crazy!" Marc raged.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" the blonde screeched.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" Toffee hollered at the blonde.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>You're</i> crazy!" the thug insisted moodily.</p>
-
-<p>The cop turned dizzily to his companion and held out a palsied hand.
-"Hurry!" he pleaded, "call the wagon, and let's take the whole bunch of
-them in. In another minute <i>I'm</i> going to be crazy!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The morning sun poured through the high windows of the courtroom,
-wasting its brightness on a scene of sullen dementia. Judge Carper's
-heavy face had achieved a shade of dyspeptic vermillion in record time
-this morning. Even the flies clung to the walls in muted terror as his
-gavel banged on the substantial wood of the bench and set the room
-atremble.</p>
-
-<p>"Silence!" the judge roared. "Silence, damnit! And if one more
-defendant makes just one more crack about the sanity of any other
-defendant I'll lock the whole crew of you up and melt the key down for
-a watch fob." He ran his shaking hand over his forehead. "Besides, so
-far I don't even know which ones of you are the defendants and which
-are the complainants." He turned to the policeman. "Do you know?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not sure," the cop admitted uneasily. "I think they're all both."</p>
-
-<p>"Both what?" the judge asked confusedly.</p>
-
-<p>"Both defendants and complainants. As far as I can tell everybody's mad
-as hell at everybody else. It sort of goes around in a circle."</p>
-
-<p>"And I'm burned up at the lot of them," the judge said malignantly.
-"Who are those two over there without any clothes on?"</p>
-
-<p>"I think they lost their clothes in the crash," the cop said vaguely.
-"The guy is really two guys, so it's hard to tell."</p>
-
-<p>"What?"</p>
-
-<p>"There are really two guys like that," the cop said. "Dressed alike."</p>
-
-<p>The judge peered across at Marc with deep speculation. "I only see one
-of him," he said dryly.</p>
-
-<p>"The other one disappeared," the cop said, casting down his eyes.
-"He&mdash;well, sort of evaporated."</p>
-
-<p>"Evaporated? What are you talking about?"</p>
-
-<p>"It's a fact, your honor. It happened on the way in. The only way I can
-explain it is that one minute he was there and the next he just sort of
-melted away."</p>
-
-<p>"Rooney," the judge said, "have you lost your wits?"</p>
-
-<p>"It wouldn't surprise me, judge," the cop sighed. "Everyone else has.
-Why not me?"</p>
-
-<p>"There's only one man there, Rooney," the judge said harshly. "And
-judging by those skinny legs of his, maybe not even that."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir."</p>
-
-<p>"Are you bucking for another vacation, Rooney, is that it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, your honor, I do feel tired. It seemed to come over me all of a
-sudden, after I ran into all those people."</p>
-
-<p>"All right, we'll see what can be done. In the meantime let's have
-no more of this falderol about one man being two, only one of them
-evaporated."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Yes, your honor," Rooney said, greatly saddened. "There's only one
-man. I guess I was mistaken."</p>
-
-<p>"Or drunk," the judge murmured sourly and turned his gaze to the
-assortment before him. "Now what happened with this gang?"</p>
-
-<p>"They were all in a wreck that involved three cars. The young lady in
-the underskirt was driving the first one. She claims that the dark man
-with the scar tried to murder her by forcing her to drive a car with a
-broken steering gear."</p>
-
-<p>"What does he say?"</p>
-
-<p>"He says the young lady is mentally unstable and of low character. It
-seems that he and the congressman observed her in the car for some time
-before the crash. They say that her behavior was most erratic, that she
-wailed and shrieked and at one point tried to abandon the car in full
-motion."</p>
-
-<p>"How else can you abandon a car?" the judge said sharply. "You have to
-be in full motion."</p>
-
-<p>"I mean the car was in full motion."</p>
-
-<p>"I see. Where was this gentleman and the congressman while they were
-doing all this observing?"</p>
-
-<p>"They were in the second car. The congressman was driving. The dark man
-is his body-guard. He was cleaning his gun at the time and that's how
-he happened to shoot the third car, although the young lady insists he
-was trying to shoot her."</p>
-
-<p>"I think I've lost the thread," the judge said foggily. "Who was in the
-third car?"</p>
-
-<p>"The man with the skinny legs who says he isn't Pillsworth, and a
-blonde woman."</p>
-
-<p>"He says he isn't Pillsworth and a blonde woman?" the judge asked, his
-eyes loosening in their sockets. "Why should he say a thing like that?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, no," the cop said earnestly, "he just says he isn't Pillsworth."</p>
-
-<p>"Then he admits to being a blonde woman?" the judge gasped. "He must be
-mad!"</p>
-
-<p>"No," the cop said, "he doesn't admit anything about being a blonde
-woman."</p>
-
-<p>"Then he denies being a blonde woman," the judge said with relief. "I
-wish you'd give me this story straight. Who accused him of being a
-blonde woman in the first place?"</p>
-
-<p>"No one," the cop said, almost tearfully. "He was only accused of being
-Pillsworth."</p>
-
-<p>"Pillsworth? You mean the fellow the hospital's looking for? Who said
-he was Pillsworth?"</p>
-
-<p>A look of doom came into the cop's eyes. "The&mdash;the other one, your
-honor," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"The other what?" the judge glowered. "Stop being evasive and answer my
-questions."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Rooney swallowed fatefully. "The other Pillsworth," he answered. "He
-accused Pillsworth of being Pillsworth&mdash;that is unless he's Pillsworth
-himself. Only he melted away so I guess we'll never really know. The
-blonde woman insists she can't identify him."</p>
-
-<p>There was a dreadful silence as the judge tapped the palm of his hand
-with the gavel. He lifted his gaze to the ceiling then levelled it
-slowly on Rooney.</p>
-
-<p>"So we're back to the blonde woman again, are we?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm afraid so," Rooney admitted weakly. "That's her over there,
-looking mad."</p>
-
-<p>"I had hoped we were through with the blonde woman," the judge said
-acidly. "I thought we'd washed the blonde woman up."</p>
-
-<p>"No, your honor, I'm afraid not."</p>
-
-<p>"This isn't the same blonde woman that Pillsworth denies being, is it?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, sir."</p>
-
-<p>"Does she deny that she's Pillsworth, is that it?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, sir," Rooney sighed hopelessly. "She's just a blonde woman. She
-refuses to give her name because her husband's a butcher."</p>
-
-<p>"Is she a defendant or a complainant?"</p>
-
-<p>"A complainant," the cop said. "She said that Pillsworth stole her car
-and pinched her. That is if he's Pillsworth, and he denies it."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't you mean he pinched her car?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, sir. He stole her car, but he pinched her&mdash;on the thigh."</p>
-
-<p>"My word!" the judge said.</p>
-
-<p>The cop nodded. "She wants to sue someone, only since there were two
-of them she doesn't know which one did the pinching. She can't be sure
-whether it was this Pillsworth or the other one&mdash;if you follow my
-meaning."</p>
-
-<p>The judge paled. "Are you being deliberately cryptic, Rooney, or is it
-simply that you can't see your way clear to be clear, if I make myself
-clear."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm afraid I don't follow you, your honor."</p>
-
-<p>"Just a taste of your own medicine, Rooney," the judge said vengefully.
-"How do you like it?" He turned his gaze moodily on the blonde. "About
-this blonde...?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, your honor?"</p>
-
-<p>"She gets everything all snarled up. Every time she enters the picture
-it ceases to make sense. Do you suppose this would all clear up if I
-just had her thrown out of court?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't think so. With or without her, things are snarled up just the
-same. I've never seen so much snarling in all my life; these people
-just don't seem to like each other."</p>
-
-<p>"What about this fellow who denies he's Pillsworth?" the judge asked.
-"Is he the only pure defendant in the bunch?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no, your honor. He's the biggest complainant of the lot. And he's
-far from pure. He's accusing the congressman of being the head of a
-gang of subversives who are planning to kill the entire population with
-bacteria."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The judge leaned across the bench, plainly scandalized. "The
-congressman!" he gasped. "Why Congressman Entwerp was a classmate of
-mine!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, your honor. And he's threatened suit against this fellow for
-slander."</p>
-
-<p>"Good," the judge said. "Have this Pillsworth or whoever he is brought
-before the bench. Obviously, he's a low criminal type. It sticks out
-all over him."</p>
-
-<p>The cop nodded and turned in Marc's direction. "You," he said. "The
-judge will hear you."</p>
-
-<p>Across the room, however, Marc gave no sign of hearing. Instead, he was
-gazing intently at the vacant chair next to his own. On his face was an
-expression of anxious annoyance.</p>
-
-<p>"Now, look, George," he said, "You owe it to humanity to show yourself
-and help get this mess cleared up. Why not be a good loser for a
-change?"</p>
-
-<p>The empty chair shifted, just perceptibly, with an air of complacency.</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe they'll hang you," George replied hopefully from thin air.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be silly," Marc said. "There's no reason why they should. Come
-on, now, be a good fellow and help get this over with."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, I'm going to help get it over with," George said pleasantly. "When
-I'm through, they'll lower the boom on you so hard you'll be the first
-man in history to be buried in an envelope."</p>
-
-<p>Just then Toffee leaned forward and touched Marc's arm. "The judge
-wants to speak to you," she said. "Come on, let's go."</p>
-
-<p>Marc glanced around. "Did he call you too?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, no," Toffee admitted, "but I'm an interested party. I want to
-see that you get fair treatment."</p>
-
-<p>"Couldn't you just stay out of it?" Marc pleaded. "Couldn't I just
-handle this myself?"</p>
-
-<p>"Nonsense," Toffee said. "You need me. Come on, the old gaffer's
-beginning to look apoplectic again."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, all right," Marc sighed. Getting up he followed Toffee to a
-position before the bench. The judge glowered down at them critically.</p>
-
-<p>"So glad you finally found you could come," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"Thank you," Toffee beamed. "It's nice of you to have us."</p>
-
-<p>The gavel barked irritably. There was silence until the judge's
-eyebrows ceased to twitch.</p>
-
-<p>"What are you doing here?" the judge enquired with forced composure.
-"Who called you forward?"</p>
-
-<p>"Lots of people have called me forward," Toffee said, "but that's just
-talk, judge. I'm just impulsive."</p>
-
-<p>"Silence!" the judge said. "Good God, girl, no one asked you for any
-sordid confessions. I just want to know what you're doing here?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded toward Marc. "I'm with him," she said.</p>
-
-<p>"Then he's the man who was with you in the green sedan?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no." Toffee shook her head. "He's the other one."</p>
-
-<p>The judge blanched. "The other one?" he asked apprehensively.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded. "They're exactly alike. Only this one is nicer. That's
-why I switched."</p>
-
-<p>The judge raised his gavel warningly, and turned to Marc. "Are you
-twins, sir?"</p>
-
-<p>Marc opened his mouth to speak, but before he could George's voice
-sounded immediately behind him.</p>
-
-<p>"Do I look like twins, you thick-headed joker?" the voice asked. "And
-if you must drink in the morning, for Godsake lay off the cheap stuff
-so you don't see double. I always heard justice was blind but I didn't
-know it was blind drunk."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>There was an ominous silence in the court as the judge raked Marc with
-a glance of pure loathing. "Are you deliberately in contempt of court?"
-he asked.</p>
-
-<p>Again Marc started to speak and again the voice beat him to it. "In
-it?" it said. "I'm fairly swimming in high octane contempt."</p>
-
-<p>The blonde who had been watching these proceedings with growing
-agitation suddenly sprang from her chair. "That's him!" she yelled
-hysterically. "I'm positive!"</p>
-
-<p>"Be quiet, you!" the judge barked. "I've had enough out of you!"</p>
-
-<p>"But he pinched me!" the blonde cried.</p>
-
-<p>"You're lucky that's all he did," the judge snapped.</p>
-
-<p>"But you don't know where!"</p>
-
-<p>The judge eyed her distantly. "With that lumpy figure of yours," he
-said, "it could scarcely matter. Now, shut up." He turned back to Marc.
-"I understand you've been making libelous remarks against Congressman
-Entwerp."</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked around hopelessly, afraid to open his mouth lest George
-would take over again. He compressed his lips into a thin line.</p>
-
-<p>"Speak up, man!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked up unhappily. "I&mdash;I&mdash;," he murmured fearfully.</p>
-
-<p>"What's the matter with you?" the judge asked. "Let's hear your
-accusations against my good friend the congressman."</p>
-
-<p>"The congressman?" Marc ventured, then brightened as he noticed there
-was no interference from George. "Oh, yes. The congressman must be
-imprisoned at once, your honor. He's a national menace. He instigated a
-propaganda program to dope the public against the threat of the foreign
-powers. But worst of all, he has enough bacteria culture to murder the
-entire population."</p>
-
-<p>"And what's more," Toffee broke in, "he pinched my gadget."</p>
-
-<p>The judge's eyes swiveled about hauntedly. "He <i>what</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"Pinched my gadget," Toffee insisted. "The one with the button."</p>
-
-<p>"Now just a minute," the judge said a little wildly. "Wasn't it the
-blonde woman who had her gadget pinched?"</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be silly," Toffee said. "She hasn't a gadget to be pinched."</p>
-
-<p>"She hasn't?" the judge said in a startled whisper. "What happened to
-her gadget?"</p>
-
-<p>"I guess she just didn't have one in the first place," Toffee said.
-"You can't just go out and buy them, you know."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The judge turned to the cop. "Do you know anything about why this
-blonde woman doesn't have a gadget?" he asked interestedly.</p>
-
-<p>"Search me," the cop said. "I didn't know she didn't. Maybe it's
-because her husband's a butcher. Maybe...."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't," the judge cried, shuddering. "Don't go on! I don't even want
-to think about it."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, who cares about her gadget anyway?" Toffee asked bewilderedly.
-"It's <i>my</i> gadget I'm trying to tell you about."</p>
-
-<p>"And I don't want to hear about it," the judge said shortly. "This
-court is no place for examination room discussions."</p>
-
-<p>"Or much of anything else," Toffee retorted angrily. "Especially
-justice."</p>
-
-<p>"Look, judge," Marc put in desperately. "You've got to listen to me.
-About all this bacteria...."</p>
-
-<p>"Bacteria?" the judge said, startled. "What about bacteria?"</p>
-
-<p>"It's a threat," Marc said. "It's got to be stopped."</p>
-
-<p>The judge nodded. "My dentist said the same thing the other day. Are
-you a dentist?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course I'm not a dentist," Marc said. "It's the congressman."</p>
-
-<p>"That's preposterous," the judge said. "The congressman isn't a
-dentist, never has been. You're just trying to rattle me."</p>
-
-<p>Again, as Marc started to speak, the voice from behind took over.
-"That's rich, that is," it slurred. "You were rattled the day you were
-born, you old tosspot, and you've been getting balmier ever since. If
-you have the brain of a gnat...."</p>
-
-<p>The gavel smashed down on the bench like the crack of doom.</p>
-
-<p>"Go!" the judge said. "Go and leave me alone! You're all trying to
-drive me out of my mind."</p>
-
-<p>"With a mind like yours," Toffee said, "it would be a fast drive on a
-kiddy car."</p>
-
-<p>"Go!" the judge screamed. "Go away!"</p>
-
-<p>Defeated by sheer volume, Marc and Toffee retreated back to their
-chairs and sat down. The one next to Marc's scraped back a trifle of
-its own volition.</p>
-
-<p>"You fiend!" Marc hissed at the empty chair. "That was a fine mess,
-wasn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Glad you admire my work," George said complacently out of thin air.
-"Isn't it remarkable how exactly alike our voices sound?"</p>
-
-<p>"Go to hell," Marc said sullenly.</p>
-
-<p>"If I do I'll probably meet you there," George said. "The old boy has
-you marked down for a sanity test. I heard him say so as you left up
-there. Somehow, it warms me to think of you locked up with a bunch of
-homicidal maniacs. Who's to say what might happen to you?"</p>
-
-<p>The gavel rapped on the bench again, this time more calmly.</p>
-
-<p>"I'd like to speak to the congressman," the judge announced. "Not that
-I put any stock in the ridiculous accusations of that black-hearted
-nit-wit, but I would like to talk to someone rational for a change."</p>
-
-<p>Across the room, the congressman rose from his chair with portly
-composure.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm happy for the opportunity to defend myself against the ravings of
-this lunatic," he said smoothly, "though I'm certain the court hasn't
-taken them the least bit seriously."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course not, congressman," the judge said grandly. "This court is
-always fair and impartial. Step up and have a chair. I'm sorry I can't
-offer you a drink during session, but perhaps we could have lunch
-together somewhere?"</p>
-
-<p>"Good grief!" Toffee whispered. "They're carrying on like old
-sweet-hearts."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The congressman smiled pityingly at Marc. "Actually, I have the
-greatest compassion for our poor friend here," he said magnanimously.
-"Who knows what dreadful experience drove him out of his senses?"</p>
-
-<p>"Why the old foghorn!" Marc hissed between clenched teeth. "He's got
-enough gall to float a fleet."</p>
-
-<p>"As for his fantastic charges," the congressman continued, "they're
-almost too silly to refute." He beamed on the judge. "I think you know
-just about how subversive I am, your honor."</p>
-
-<p>The judge smiled broadly. "Call me Ralph," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, Ralph," the congressman smiled. "And about that bacteria
-business; the only bacteria culture I have is home in the refrigerator.
-I just happened to let some cheese go mouldy."</p>
-
-<p>The judge laughed immoderately. "Oh, Congressman!" he gasped, wiping
-his eyes. "You always were a wit!"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee frowned her disapproval. "This is worse than television," she
-said.</p>
-
-<p>"What am I going to do?" Marc said. "I can't let him get away with it.
-I'll wind up in an asylum while he sells the whole country down the
-river."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded morosely. "We've got to think of something," she said.
-"If they won't listen to sense, I guess the only thing to do is resort
-to madness."</p>
-
-<p>"How do you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"Trade seats with me," Toffee said. "I want to talk to George."</p>
-
-<p>"It won't do any good. He won't listen to sense any more than the rest
-of them."</p>
-
-<p>"That's all right," Toffee said. "What I have in mind is more
-nonsense&mdash;and a little hypnotism."</p>
-
-<p>"Hypnotism?"</p>
-
-<p>"Uh-huh. I told you I've been studying. Come on, trade."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>As unobtrusively as possible they changed seats. Toffee settled
-herself, crossed her legs with care, and turned to the vacant seat at
-her side. When she spoke her voice was husky and confidential.</p>
-
-<p>"Look, George," she said, "I've been thinking...."</p>
-
-<p>The chair quivered interestedly. "Yes?" George's voice said out of
-emptiness. "What about?"</p>
-
-<p>"You and me," Toffee said. "I've just been going over things in my
-mind, and you know, George, I've really been sort of foolish."</p>
-
-<p>"How do you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well take the way I always favor Marc against you. Suddenly it just
-occurred to me that there's no logical reason for it. After all you're
-just alike&mdash;except for a few little differences, of course."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh?" George said, a note of interest creeping into his voice. "What
-differences?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, for instance, you're more aggressive, George. You have a more
-active, dynamic personality. You're the sort who knows what he wants
-and goes out after it."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose you could say that," George admitted. "What else?"</p>
-
-<p>"You're cleverer, too. Look at the way you've got Marc bottled up right
-now, for example. He's a dead duck. In fact, to tell you the truth,
-George, you make Marc look pretty sick. I'm beginning to think a girl
-would be much better off with you."</p>
-
-<p>George cleared his throat. "You're sure you mean it?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course I do," Toffee said. "Why wouldn't I, George? It's not just
-that you're cleverer and more dominant than Marc, there are other
-little things too, things only a woman would notice. Your eyes, for
-instance."</p>
-
-<p>"My eyes?"</p>
-
-<p>Toffee nodded. "Uh-huh. Your eyes are ever so much more exciting than
-Marc's. I don't know what it is, but there's a subtle difference. I
-guess it's personality. I've always noticed it."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my eyes aren't all that good," George demurred. "Pleasant and
-friendly, perhaps, but...."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, much more than that," Toffee insisted. "Flashing and roguish."</p>
-
-<p>"You really think so?"</p>
-
-<p>"Certainly. That and more." Toffee paused for a moment, appeared
-hesitant. "George...?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, Toffee?"</p>
-
-<p>"Would you show me your eyes? Just materialize them for a moment so I
-can gaze into them?"</p>
-
-<p>"Do you really like them that much?"</p>
-
-<p>"Please, George...."</p>
-
-<p>"Well ... all right."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>And so it was that the congressman, long distracted by a view of Toffee
-fawning on a vacant chair, suddenly found himself staring across the
-room at two disembodied eyes which lolled in mid-air, swiveling and
-rolling about in a delirious attempt to be flashing and roguish. He
-coughed in a strangled way and glanced around at the judge.</p>
-
-<p>The judge, had the congressman been astute enough to notice, had
-suddenly gone white about the gills and showed a shifty disinclination
-to meet his gaze. The truth of the matter was that the judge, similarly
-baffled by Toffee's seductive attitude toward the chair, had also been
-subjected to the nasty sight of George's grotesque eye exercises. He,
-like the congressman, had experienced a feeling of giddiness at the
-nape of the neck and decided against mentioning the incident. After
-gazing upon a pair of air-borne eyes which have just crossed themselves
-in their zeal to convey the charm of the rake, one is generally loath
-to bring the subject up with anyone save the local psychiatrist.
-However, had either gentleman had the least inkling of the mad delights
-yet to come, they might have well bolted the room, shouting the news to
-the world.</p>
-
-<p>The fact was that Toffee, in her endeavor to hypnotize George, was
-meeting with extraordinary success. Having gazed into George's eyes
-with his full cooperation it was only the matter of a moment before
-the hapless shade was completely mesmerized. The eyes, under Toffee's
-steady gaze, grew heavy, drooped, closed altogether, then reopened with
-a slightly dazed appearance. It was not a pleasant sight, but Toffee
-appeared to find satisfaction in it.</p>
-
-<p>Not so, however, the judge and the congressman. Watching these
-developments with sidelong anxiety, they were sore put to it to
-continue with the business at hand.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, yes," the judge said vaguely, "you were telling me about this
-blackguard who's been saying all these filthy things about you...?"</p>
-
-<p>"Eh?" the congressman said, starting. "<i>Oh!</i> Oh, yes. This fellow, the
-blackguard. I was saying that if he was half a man...!"</p>
-
-<p>The congressman got no further for it was precisely in this moment
-that Toffee commanded George to materialize. There must have been,
-however, a lack of authority in her tone, for the results fell short of
-perfection. In fact, they fell short by exactly fifty percent. George,
-starting at the top of his head, blossomed rapidly into being down to
-the waist and there, quite devoid of his lower quarters, stopped. In
-effect, no sooner did the congressman speak of half a man than the
-order was filled to exact specifications. The congressman not only
-stopped speaking, but stopped breathing as well.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A nervous hush fell over the courtroom, for by now several others had
-begun to notice the half-portion George and were just as reticent to
-mention the matter as either the congressman or the judge. The judge
-clutched grimly to the bench for support and forced himself to look
-away. He laughed a dry, cackling laugh.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, well," he said with feeble heartiness, "we mustn't fall into a
-reverie, must we? You haven't half&mdash;I mean you haven't really begun to
-tell me about these slurs against you, congressman."</p>
-
-<p>There was something markedly distraught in the congressman's expression
-as he turned back to the bench. He fiddled with his tie, reached into
-his pocket, took something out and began to finger it nervously. It was
-Toffee's gadget.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," he babbled. "I was only saying that anyone with half&mdash;I mean
-any mind at all would be able to see ... uh ... see...."</p>
-
-<p>As he spoke, the congressman turned the gadget absently in his hand. It
-was on the fifth turn, when it was pointing directly at the judge, that
-his finger inadvertently snagged against the button and shoved it to
-one side. Instantly, as though the judge had never been there at all,
-the bench was starkly and dramatically deserted, with only the gavel
-left to mark its recent occupancy. The congressman gaped unbelievingly,
-shook his head, closed his eyes, then opened them again. The judge was
-still absent.</p>
-
-<p>The congressman turned to the others and found himself and the bench
-the focal points for a sea of shocked eyes. He shuddered, pressed the
-gadget self-consciously in a fit of nerves. The button snapped in the
-opposite direction. In the next instant there was a shrill scream from
-the faded blonde.</p>
-
-<p>Those in court turned in unison to find that the judge, just as
-suddenly as he had departed, had reappeared. This time, however, he
-was comfortably ensconced in the lap of the distraught blonde. In a
-courtroom where many odd things had recently taken place, it was the
-general concensus that when the judge of that court sneaks from the
-bench, creeps up on the nearest blonde and hurls himself into her lap,
-some sort of climax has been reached. A murmur of indignation rose
-through the room.</p>
-
-<p>The blonde, for her part, agreed with the concensus, but did not stop
-at an indignant protest. Doubling up her fist she belted the judge a
-nasty blow in the eye.</p>
-
-<p>"You mangey old goat!" she shrieked.</p>
-
-<p>The congressman, by now in a veritable frenzy of nervousness, pressed
-the button again. This time it was Toffee who disappeared. The murmur
-in the court became still more disturbed. The congressman twiddled the
-button in the opposite direction.</p>
-
-<p>Miraculously, Toffee appeared behind the bench in the judge's position.
-She picked up the gavel and banged for attention.</p>
-
-<p>"The court will come to order!" she shrilled happily. "Knock it off,
-everybody!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A new kind of hush fell over the room. The congressman, slack-mouthed,
-looked up at Toffee with the fearful look of a man who has finally
-been backed to the wall on the question of his own sanity. The judge,
-nursing a blow on the left ear as another was being addressed to the
-right, looked up in horror.</p>
-
-<p>"Here!" he yelled. "Get off that bench!"</p>
-
-<p>"Get off that blonde!" Toffee shot back. "You ought to be ashamed of
-yourself." She whirled about on the trembling congressman. "As for you,
-you big fat traitor, I want a clean confession and no nonsense."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't have to talk to you," the congressman said uncertainly. "You
-can't make me say anything."</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe not," Toffee said, "but what about your conscience?"</p>
-
-<p>"Conscience?" the congressman said uncertainly.</p>
-
-<p>"The term is unfamiliar to you?" Toffee said. "I'm not surprised. Let
-me try to explain it to you. A guilty conscience can play awful tricks
-on people." She eyed the congressman closely. "It can even make you
-think you're seeing things, for instance."</p>
-
-<p>The congressman's eyes widened with an awful fear. "See&mdash;see things?"
-he quavered. "What kind of things do you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well," Toffee said reflectively, "say a man is responsible for another
-man's murder. If his conscience gets ahold of him he may begin to see
-that man as still alive. He may even see two such men, just alike. In
-really bad cases the subject is likely to imagine one of the men in a
-state of mutilation, say cut in half. Of course, that's pretty extreme."</p>
-
-<p>The congressman glanced compulsively in George's direction and turned
-ashen. George, still at half mast, stared back at him with fixed
-blankness. The congressman groaned.</p>
-
-<p>"Then there's the very worst sort of conscience," Toffee went on.
-"That's when everything gets mixed up. Through a close study of
-recorded cases, we find that the first attack commonly occurs when the
-criminal is confronted with his crimes, usually publicly, as in a
-court of law."</p>
-
-<p>"H&mdash;how do you mean?" the congressman whispered. "Whu&mdash;what happens?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, everything begins to appear to be just the opposite of what it
-really is. There is a famous English case in which the victim was so
-far gone that he actually believed that the magistrate on the bench
-had become a beautiful girl. He described the illusion, I believe, as
-a gorgeous redhead with an exquisite figure and legs too perfect to be
-true." Toffee laughed gaily. "Can you imagine anyone getting themselves
-looped up to that extent?"</p>
-
-<p>The congressman forced a laugh that had all the light-hearted
-spontaneity of a coffin lid being pried up at midnight. "That boy was
-really gone, wasn't he&mdash;your honor?"</p>
-
-<p>"Call me Ralph, old man," Toffee said.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, Ralph, old boy," the congressman said, blinking.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Experimatically, Toffee opened a drawer under the bench and withdrew a
-large black cigar. Inserting this into her month, she leaned forward
-toward the congressman. "Gotta light, friend?" she enquired.</p>
-
-<p>The congressman started back sharply at this new incongruity. It was a
-moment before he recovered.</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," he said, taking out a lighter and waggling it beneath the
-cigar. "Sure thing."</p>
-
-<p>Taking a healthy puff on the cigar, Toffee leaned back luxuriously and
-blew out a cloud of smoke. "What say we adjourn?" she suggested. "We
-can slip around to the club and cut up a few touches with the boys."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, all right," the congressman said, attempting a wan smile.
-"But...."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee took the cigar from her mouth and leaned forward. "Yes, old man?"</p>
-
-<p>"About these cases," the congressman said. "That fellow in England...."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, the one who thought the magistrate was a beautiful girl? It's
-hard to believe, of course, but you must remember it was an extreme
-case. The most severe ever recorded, I believe. The funeral was only a
-formality, of course, since there wasn't even a scrap of him recovered.
-Exploded, you know."</p>
-
-<p>"Exploded!"</p>
-
-<p>"That's right. The only thing of its kind in medical history. Poor
-devil went right off. With a great whopping roar, they said. The
-doctors said it was caused by repressed emotion."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Mona!" the congressman groaned.</p>
-
-<p>"Didn't mean to upset you, old friend," Toffee said. "It's an
-unpleasant thing to talk about."</p>
-
-<p>"But couldn't they have saved him?" the congressman asked. "Suppose
-they had gotten him to a psychiatrist or something before it happened?"</p>
-
-<p>"Actually it was much simpler than that," Toffee said ponderously.
-"The fellow could have saved himself merely by confessing. Confession,
-you know, is the only thing for a bad conscience. Highly recommended
-by all the best authorities. Those church people are doing it all the
-time&mdash;can't stop church people from confessing&mdash;and you never heard of
-one of them exploding, did you?"</p>
-
-<p>"That's right," the congressman said hopefully. His gaze travelled out
-the window, a clouded look of inner turmoil on his face.</p>
-
-<p>"It was just one of those things," Toffee put in. "One minute this
-chap was standing there in court just as hail and hearty as beans and
-the next&mdash;boom!&mdash;and the spectators were whisking him off their coat
-sleeves and passing round the cleaning fluid!"</p>
-
-<p>The congressman whirled about in a convulsion of anguish. "I confess!"
-he blurted. "I confess <i>everything</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>"Not everything," Toffee said. "Leave the racy personal stuff for
-another time."</p>
-
-<p>The congressman reached out the gadget and dropped it on the bench.
-Toffee picked it up as he followed that contribution with a key.</p>
-
-<p>"There's the key to the storeroom," the congressman said, "and the
-one to the private files. And here's a list of the members of the
-organization." He started as Rooney stepped forward and took him by the
-arm.</p>
-
-<p>"Take him away," Toffee said blithely. "Find him a cell with lots of
-padding. And take his body-guard too."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>As the congressman and the thug disappeared in the custody of Rooney,
-Toffee mashed out her cigar, quitted the bench and proceeded across the
-court where the blonde was still throttling the judge.</p>
-
-<p>"Better let him up, honey," she advised gently. "He's turning a very
-nasty blue."</p>
-
-<p>The blonde stopped to consider the judge's complexion and let him drop
-to the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"Loathsome old bore!" she hissed as he sat up and rubbed his neck, then
-got to his feet and tottered off toward the bench. "That'll teach you
-next time."</p>
-
-<p>Toffee moved on to Marc. "Well, don't just sit there," she said, "Let's
-get at it."</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked up apprehensively. "At what?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Everything." Toffee said spaciously. "On the town."</p>
-
-<p>"Haven't you had enough excitement?" Marc asked wearily.</p>
-
-<p>"Not of the right sort," Toffee said. "What I crave is soft lights and
-wine and all that sort of elegant truck. Come on."</p>
-
-<p>"What about George?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, yes," Toffee reflected, "there is George, isn't there?" She
-regarded the transfixed half-spirit thoughtfully. "It would serve him
-right if we just left him here, cut off at the pockets. Still I don't
-suppose it's the thing to do...." A look of inspiration came to her
-face. "I know."</p>
-
-<p>Taking her gadget from beneath her arm, she levelled it at George and
-pressed the button. Instantly George disappeared entirely. Toffee
-replaced the instrument and turned to Marc.</p>
-
-<p>"There," she said brightly. "George in the handy pocket size, where he
-can't do any harm. Now we're all set for a life of gin and sin, and no
-interruptions."</p>
-
-<p>"Now, wait a minute!" Marc said. "We're not set for anything, much less
-a life of gin and sin as you so pungently put it. Do I have to remind
-you that I have a wife to think of?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't care if you have a whole regiment of wives to think of,"
-Toffee said testily. "I've protected and preserved you and, by gum,
-you're mine. At least right now. Your wife can just take her chances on
-what's left."</p>
-
-<p>"If you continue with this scandalous talk," Marc said, shocked into
-primness, "I'm going to be forced to get up and walk right out of here."</p>
-
-<p>"You take one step without me," Toffee warned, "and I'll break both
-your legs."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, well...." Marc sighed.</p>
-
-<p>"That's better," Toffee nodded. "Of course I'll need some clothes,
-something terribly expensive and revealing...."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>She broke off as the doors of the courtroom burst open and Julie,
-followed by the three doctors from the hospital, charged down the aisle.</p>
-
-<p>"My God!" Marc cried. "Julie!" He swung around to Toffee. "Go away!
-Vanish!"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm darned if I will," Toffee said. "I've stuck by you through all the
-thin and now I want some of the thick of it."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't worry," Marc said miserably. "Just wait till Julie sees us;
-things will get thick in a hurry."</p>
-
-<p>Even as Marc spoke the atmosphere began to congeal swiftly. Julie,
-having caught sight of the curious tableau formed by Marc and the
-scantily clad Toffee, jarred to a stop, digging her heels into the
-floor. A sharp, enraged sound came from her lips.</p>
-
-<p>Julie, after her experience of the night before had recovered her
-physical faculties, but her emotional condition was still skittish.
-A wife, summoned to identify her dying husband, rather sets her mind
-on a scene of tearful sighs and murmured remembrances, with perhaps
-a touch of violin music in the background. When she finds her waning
-spouse looking perfectly alive and perky and in close proximity to a
-dangerous looking redhead, her bubble has a tendency to burst with a
-considerable bang.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Marc Pillsworth!</i>" Julie screamed. "Who is that woman!" And raising
-her handbag aloft she proceeded forward with mayhem unmistakably number
-one on her agenda.</p>
-
-<p>Groaning, Marc rose from his chair. "She's going to kill me!"</p>
-
-<p>Meanwhile, the doctors had also caught sight of Marc.</p>
-
-<p>"There he is!" the first doctor said. "We'd better close in on him
-fast."</p>
-
-<p>"It's amazing," the second doctor mused. "The man must be living
-sheerly on the energy of hysteria. He should have been dead hours ago."
-He turned to the third doctor. "Do you have the chloroform ready?"</p>
-
-<p>The doctor nodded and exhibited a can and a large sponge. "Wait till
-the Medical Association hears about this," he said excitedly. "They'll
-never believe it!"</p>
-
-<p>Thus armed, the men in white pressed forward close in the wake of Julie.</p>
-
-<p>Marc retreated in confusion toward the bench. "They're all after me!"
-he cried. "I can't stand much more of this. If just one more character
-tries to kill me...!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The doors of the court swung open and a tall, grim-lipped man barged
-into the room and down the aisle. He was carrying a large meat axe.
-Across the room the blonde leaped joyously from her chair.</p>
-
-<p>"Darling!" she yelled and ran to meet him. They came together in a
-tight clinch just inside the gate. "How did you find me, honey?"</p>
-
-<p>"Bureau of Missing Persons," the man said cryptically. "Where is he?"</p>
-
-<p>"Who, sweet?"</p>
-
-<p>"This creep who kidnapped you. Point him out."</p>
-
-<p>The blonde glanced around. "That's him," she said, pointing, "the one
-with all those people following him."</p>
-
-<p>The man observed Marc's retreating figure with a professional eye. "Not
-much meat on him," he judged, "especially around the shank." He shoved
-the blonde aside. "This'll only take a second."</p>
-
-<p>"Mother in heaven!" Toffee cried, "the whole population is out to get
-you." She pulled Marc out of reach of Julie's bag as it made a broad
-swipe at his head. "Come on, let's join the judge!"</p>
-
-<p>Together, they raced around the bench and started to mount to the chair.</p>
-
-<p>"Get away!" the judge screamed, taking in the ranks of Marc's
-attackers. "Don't come up here!"</p>
-
-<p>"Sorry," Toffee said, leaping lightly up beside him and snatching up
-the gavel. "This is total war!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc gaining the bench, turned his attention to Julie. "Please, dear!"
-he cried. "There's nothing to be sore about!"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, isn't there?" Julie gritted. "What about that naked little trull
-you're with?" She hefted the bag anew.</p>
-
-<p>"Let me at him!" the enraged butcher bellowed from the flank. "I'll get
-him if I have to hack that bench away around him!"</p>
-
-<p>In answer, Toffee brandished the gavel in a wide gesture of defiance
-which terminated solidly on the side of the judge's nose.</p>
-
-<p>"Ouch!" the judge roared, grabbing his face with both hands. "Clear the
-court!"</p>
-
-<p>"Hell!" the butcher yelled. "I'm going to smear the court with that
-lousy kidnapper!"</p>
-
-<p>The siege of the bench raged, and it will always be a sterling
-testimony to Julie's physical prowess that as she scaled the bench, the
-lethal handbag never once ceased to twirl over her head; if it happened
-to strike the judge more often than anyone else it was only because
-her aim was deflected by her overwrought emotions. To Marc and Toffee,
-however, the real menace lay in the butcher and his cleaver. Only by
-the most adroit maneuverings with the gavel was Toffee able to delay
-his murderous progress with a few strategic licks on the shins.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The doctors, on the other hand, gave themselves over more to calculated
-strategy. While two of them tried to close in on Marc from the sides,
-the chloroformist, can and sponge held ready, crept up from the rear.
-They might have succeeded in this maneuver except for Toffee. The
-redhead, seeing that time and speed were of the essence, abandoned her
-attack on the butcher and sailed forward, the gavel raised in one hand,
-the gadget in the other. Her plan was to dispatch the flankers with
-a single action, then sweep on to overcome the third doctor with all
-dispatch. The strategy, however, was too hastily conceived to be really
-successful.</p>
-
-<p>Marc in an effort to avoid Julie's bag, leaped forward at just the
-wrong moment. Throwing himself toward Toffee, he received the full
-impact of both the gavel and the gadget, one to the ear. He reeled to
-one side, stumbled and sprawled to the floor, shaking his head.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no!" he wailed, looking back reproachfully at Toffee. "Not you
-too!"</p>
-
-<p>But Toffee didn't answer; she was far too surprised and pleased at the
-sudden results of this little accident. In banging Marc over the head
-with the gadget, she had inadvertently sprung the switch and introduced
-George, completely restored to the last molecule, into the very center
-of the proceedings. She only regretted she hadn't thought of it sooner
-as she saw the attackers, in the confusion, turn on George in force.</p>
-
-<p>"Stay down," she hissed and dropped down lightly beside Marc. "While
-George is standing in for you, let's get out of this."</p>
-
-<p>Marc rose to his knees, took in the new development and nodded. "This
-way," he said, indicating a door behind the bench. "I saw the judge
-crawling out this way a minute ago."</p>
-
-<p>Together they scuttled on their hands and knees to the door. Marc edged
-it open, let Toffee through, then followed after. Safe, they turned
-back to see how the battle was developing around the bench.</p>
-
-<p>George appeared to be finding himself at rather a rude disadvantage.
-And it is entirely conceivable that the besieged spook might well
-have been confused in that his last conscious moment had been the one
-of promised amour just before Toffee hypnotized him. Now, suddenly
-restored to awareness, instead of a fawning redhead, he found himself
-confronted by what appeared to be a select group of the worst fiends of
-hell.</p>
-
-<p>George's gaze grew more and more terrified as he took in the swinging
-handbag, the slashing meat axe and the intense, determined faces of the
-doctors. With a single shriek of despair, as the meat axe made a swipe
-at his ear, he staggered backwards and vanished into thin air.</p>
-
-<p>"Poor George," Toffee giggled. "I've got a feeling he checked out for
-good just then. He looked like a ghost who's just remembered a previous
-engagement."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Marc got up, closed the door and flicked the latch. He stopped, glanced
-around at the room. It was some sort of inner chamber, resplendent of
-leather and polished wood, a place of durability and hard surfaces,
-lighted by a large brass lamp standing on an enormous oak desk. At the
-far end of the room a door stood ajar, opening onto a hallway which
-pointed the direction of the judge's recent escape. Marc crossed to it
-and closed and locked it.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," Toffee said, perching herself lightly on the corner of the
-desk. "This is more like it. Private."</p>
-
-<p>Marc turned wearily from the door. "Just leave me alone," he sighed.
-"Just let me sit down somewhere and relax. This is the first time in
-almost twenty-four hours that I haven't had someone at my heels trying
-to kill me."</p>
-
-<p>"Poor Marc," Toffee said. "You do need a rest."</p>
-
-<p>Marc started across the room toward a large leather-covered chair. He
-was nearly there when he caught his foot in the lamp cord and fell.</p>
-
-<p>Even as he struck the floor he was aware of the crazy see-saw flashes
-of light traveling up and down the wall. It wasn't until he rolled
-over, however, that he saw the lamp teetering precariously on the edge
-of the desk just above his head. He started to cry out, but before he
-could force the sound to his lips the lamp slipped beyond the edge and
-plunged downward. It seemed to explode in his face....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>It grew out of the darkness, a place of familiar beauty. The light
-came slowly like the first faint tracings of dawn, etching the gentle
-slopes, the intricate, clustered outline of the forest.</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked around at Toffee who was sitting beside him on the rise of
-the knoll. In the glowing half-light she was beautiful beyond words.</p>
-
-<p>"I ought to break your thick skull," she said. "Will you never learn to
-pick up those huge feet of yours?"</p>
-
-<p>"Huh?" Marc said.</p>
-
-<p>"Tripping over that damned cord just when we'd gotten away from them
-all. Big-footed oaf."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, golly, that's right," Marc said. "We're back in the valley."</p>
-
-<p>"You're darned tootin' we're back in the valley," Toffee said
-fretfully. "And that means it's all over. No high-life, no
-snaky-dressed, and no...."</p>
-
-<p>"There wouldn't have been any of that anyway," Marc put in hastily.
-"It's just as well."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be too sure," Toffee said with a sidelong glance. "All I needed
-was a few more minutes and...."</p>
-
-<p>"What happened to your gadget?" Marc asked, changing the subject.</p>
-
-<p>Toffee picked up the instrument from the grass beside her and shook it.
-It made a loose rattling sound.</p>
-
-<p>"I broke it when I hit you over the head with it." She tossed it away
-from her and it rolled down the slope and out of view. "It's served
-its purpose." She turned to Marc. "That is if you'll just stop making
-people want to kill you."</p>
-
-<p>"I feel all dented and scratched," Marc said. "But I guess I'm all
-right."</p>
-
-<p>"You'd feel more dented and scratched if I'd gotten ahold of you,"
-Toffee said. "For instance...."</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a
-moment Marc felt that he must have gotten mixed up with a metal clamp.</p>
-
-<p>"Gee whiz!" he said as she released him.</p>
-
-<p>"That's just the beginning," Toffee said. "I like to ease into these
-things. After that...." She stopped as the light of the valley began to
-dwindle. "Oh, damn!"</p>
-
-<p>Marc looked around at the valley in the rapidly diminishing light.
-A small pang of regret flickered deep inside him. He felt himself
-drifting off into the growing darkness.</p>
-
-<p>"Goodbye, Toffee," he whispered. "Goodbye."</p>
-
-<p>He felt the light caress of her hand on his cheek.</p>
-
-<p>"So long, you lovely old reprobate," Toffee said. "Don't you dare
-forget me...."</p>
-
-<p>And then the darkness was complete and Toffee and the valley were gone
-in a swirling haze.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Marc stirred and there was a small thud beside him. He opened his eyes
-and looked around; the thud had been the lamp rolling off his chest. He
-forced himself to sit up.</p>
-
-<p>There was just enough light from a small skylight above to see that
-Toffee was no longer there. He hadn't really expected that she would
-be. He shook his head briefly to clear it. The memory of Julie and the
-others in the courtroom came to him.</p>
-
-<p>He had to get out of there. He had to get home. He could wait there and
-explain things to Julie&mdash;somehow&mdash;when she returned. He got to his feet
-and gazed bleakly down the long, unshapely stretch of his own bare legs.</p>
-
-<p>It wouldn't do to go wandering around on the streets like that.
-Remembering that he had noticed a closet when he'd first entered the
-room, he made his way to it now and opened the door.</p>
-
-<p>The only thing in the closet was the judge's discarded black robe. Marc
-regarded it for a moment but nonetheless took it off the hanger. It was
-much better than nothing. He slipped the robe on and crossed to the
-door leading into the hallway.</p>
-
-<p>He unlocked the door and opened it. The hallway was deserted. It led
-toward the back of the building and outside. Marc quitted the room and
-quickly traced the hall to a set of outdoor steps leading down to a
-parking area. He started forward, then drew back as a figure appeared
-from around the far corner and made for one of the cars. Then suddenly
-he stopped as he realized that the figure was Julie and she was on her
-way to their blue convertible.</p>
-
-<p>"Julie...?" he called.</p>
-
-<p>Julie, whirling about, caught sight of him and screamed at the top of
-her lungs. Having expressed herself thusly she leaped for the car, tore
-the door open and threw herself inside. Then, slamming the door and
-snapping the catch, she started fumbling feverishly in her bag for the
-keys.</p>
-
-<p>Marc hastened down the steps and across the lot. He banged on the car
-door.</p>
-
-<p>"Julie!" he cried. "Listen to me! I can explain about the girl. She was
-only helping me trap the congressman. She's gone now. Julie, are you
-listening?"</p>
-
-<p>Julie paused in her frenzied gropings and looked out at him. She
-lowered the window just a crack with an unnerved hand.</p>
-
-<p>"Beat it, you&mdash;you apparition!" she quavered. "I can't see you, I
-really <i>can't</i>! So it's no good your pretending you're there. You're
-not, and I know it. Go away!"</p>
-
-<p>"Apparition?" Marc said. "I'm no apparition. Julie, it's me&mdash;Marc!"</p>
-
-<p>Julie's gaze steadied a trifle. "You're sure?" she asked. "You're
-really there?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course I am. Let me in the car, please, dear."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>She hesitated, but in the end she opened the door, reached out gingerly
-and touched him. Then, with a smile of reassurance, she slid over to
-make room for him beside her.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Marc!" she cried. "I'm so glad it's you. I thought I saw you just
-sort of fade away in there and ... I guess I've been out of my mind
-with worry."</p>
-
-<p>Marc reached out an arm and drew her close to him. "It's all right,
-dear," he said. "It's all over now."</p>
-
-<p>"But the doctors said you had to be operated on. They said you were
-dying."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, that," Marc said hedging. "Well&mdash;that was just a gag, a trick to
-make the congressman expose himself. Where are the doctors now?"</p>
-
-<p>"Asleep," Julie said.</p>
-
-<p>"Asleep?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. It seems that one of them got excited and spilled a big can of
-chloroform on all three of them. They looked very relaxed when I left."</p>
-
-<p>"Probably needed the rest," Marc said. "They seemed quite energetic."
-He patted her shoulder. "So do we. Shall we go home?"</p>
-
-<p>Julie nodded. Marc started the car.</p>
-
-<p>"Marc...?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, dear?"</p>
-
-<p>"About that girl, the one with red hair. That was very silly of me,
-wasn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Silly?" Marc asked.</p>
-
-<p>"The way I got it into my head that there was something between you
-two. That was silly, wasn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Very silly," Marc said. "I don't know how you ever thought of such a
-thing." He turned and smiled at her. "But I forgive you."</p>
-
-<p>Julie moved closer. "Thank you, dear," she murmured. "You're very kind
-and understanding. Besides, if I'd just stopped to think about it I'd
-have realized she wasn't the kind you'd ever give a second thought."</p>
-
-<p>Marc backed up the car and headed out of the lot. "Of course not,
-dear," he said. A smile played at the corner of his lips as he gazed
-off into the distance. "Never a second thought...."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>George approached through the mists, his ectoplasm disheveled and
-drooping. As he moved toward the sentry station it was all too apparent
-that here was a shade in low spirits.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"George Pillsworth, spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth
-reporting in from leave," he announced listlessly.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The sentry, a gross spectre of the lower sort, jutted his head out of
-the opening. "Hot dawg!" he said. "Wait'll the Council gets a load of
-you!"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>George looked up wearily. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Just after you took off, word came through that Pillsworth was as
-hail and hearty as health biscuits. They've been waiting up for you
-ever since. Boy, are you in for a welcome!</i>"</p>
-
-<p><i>George shrugged and sighed heavily. "Back to the Moaning Chorus, I
-suppose?" he said.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"You know it, brother," the sentry nodded, and leaning forward he
-swung the gates open in a wide gesture. "Pass on, George Pillsworth,
-spiritual part of the mortal Marc Pillsworth. Come and get it, kid."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>George drifted disconsolately through the gates and toward the Council
-Chambers which loomed large and formidable through the swirling mists
-ahead. Slowly, softly he began to hum to himself, a tune of great
-melancholy and gentle discord. He paused, hummed the tune again.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Not bad," he mused, "not bad at all. With a little arranging it might
-go over big."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Humming the tune again, he resumed toward the chambers. He shrugged,
-dusted his ectoplasm and smoothed it down.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Now that he stopped to think about it he was sort of relieved to be
-back. Certainly the Moaning Chorus couldn't be any more exhausting
-than what he'd just gone through on Earth. And, coming right down to
-it, those humans down there were beginning to get a little spooky
-lately....</i></p>
-
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