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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dbc321c --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65924 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65924) diff --git a/old/65924-0.txt b/old/65924-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 454ca90..0000000 --- a/old/65924-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,537 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Hey Ma, Where's Willie?, by I. M. -Bukstein - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Hey Ma, Where's Willie? - -Author: I. M. Bukstein - -Release Date: July 26, 2021 [eBook #65924] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HEY MA, WHERE'S WILLIE? *** - - - - - - "HEY MA, WHERE'S WILLIE?" - - By I. M. Bukstein - - "No, sir, we wasn't fooled by them lights - in the night sky. Illusionations, we call 'em. - Funny though, Willie disappeared that night!" - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - October 1952 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -Just where Willie went, I ain't sure. I wonder sometimes, especially -around harvest because that is about the time we found Willie was -missing. I should pine after him a little. He was my son, but somehow I -never took a hankering toward Willie like I ought to. I got five other -boys a lot smarter, bigger, and nicer to look at than Willie ever was, -besides four girls that's as pretty as they come. But when someone -disappears, like Willie did, even if you don't care particularly much -you kind of wonder at times just how it came about. - -Willie was near about fourteen or thereabouts. I never could remember -for sure. He wasn't the oldest and he wasn't the youngest. But then -with ten kids and ten ages to keep track of a man can't be expected to -remember. Anyhow he'd be about sixteen now, since it was two years ago -that it happened. - -It was a bad time for him to be skipping off, too. We were in the -middle of harvest. We had corn to get in, besides which we had a bit of -a scare around here with lights flashing in the hills and funny noises -at night. The fellows who know call that sort of thing by some fancy -name. "Mass illusionations," I guess they'd say. - -Well, one night we sat down to chow. We'd worked hard all day, so we -were filling ourselves as full as we could. Ma is a right good cook -when she bothers, and the girls do all right by themselves. When we -finished, Joey pops up. I think it was Joey. I can't rightly remember. -When you got ten kids and ten names to keep track of you're bound to -have a hard time remembering. - -Anyhow, one of the kids pops up and says, "Look, Pa! Willie's plate is -all full up with chow and no Willie." - -Ma looks down the row and tallies them up. Sure thing, nine kids and no -Willie. I kind of wondered why Willie wasn't around. He's usually the -first to eat and the last to stop. Ma looked worried. - -"Well," I says. "Pass his plate. Don't want any food to go to waste." -So, the plate is passed down to me. By the time it goes down the line -of kids there's one porkchop left. I eat the porkchop and forget about -Willie for a while. - -Next morning, Joey comes up and says Willie wasn't home last night. - -"So," I says. "Willie wasn't home last night. Where's breakfast?" Ma -looks worried. Like I say Ma always liked Willie. - -"OK, Ma," I pipes up. "We'll ask the neighbors. It'd be easy to spot -Willie anywhere." That's what I figured. Even though I hate to say it -about my own son, Willie was plumb peculiar to look at. He had a head -that looked like it belonged on a man a hundred pounds heavier. It sat -like a knob on the end of a scrawny, skinny body. A body too scrawny to -be much use in farming. - - * * * * * - -He sure was dumb too, that Willie. If you put him out to plow a -straight line, he'd plow a circle. If you wanted him to plow a curve, -he'd plow a zig-zag line. He wasn't like the other boys. Willie got -kicked out of school when he was eight. Not that the other boys -finished school, but he got kicked out real disgraceful-like. Now -Bennie, he set fire to the teacher's chair; Joey burned down the whole -school building. But Willie, guldurn Willie, he read all the books he -could get ahold of till he knew more than the teacher: so of course, -the teacher had to kick him out to save her face. Take Willie to pull -a trick like that. Asked her such fool questions that she had to close -the school for a couple months to take a rest cure. That was Willie for -you. - -Sometimes I wonder myself why Willie don't mean as much to me as some -of the other kids do. Maybe it's because I wasn't around when Willie -was born. Just happened the draft, the war draft that is, called my -number. That was for the second world war. Well anyhow they didn't want -me. I guess the government didn't want to support my kids. Don't blame -them though. - -I go to the city and two weeks later I come back and there is Willie. -He's just an ordinary baby, no hair and no teeth. - -"Kinda homely," I says to Ma. But she doesn't seem to care, so I figure -I don't care either. - -Willie grew up and Willie kept getting in the way. Asked all kinds of -silly questions. Sure, the others always wanted to know why the grass -is green; but not Willie. Willie asks some silly question about "the -relative merits of transistor amplifiers as compared to vacuum tubes." -That ain't all the questions he asked. But you get the idea. Willie -always acted kind of big for his breeches. - -Ma always seemed to encourage him too. Keeps saying Willie ain't my -son. I know she's kidding, of course. I reckon she means sort of -like, in spirit he ain't my son. In that respect, I agree with her. -Willie sure ain't my son. Some of the kids titter when Ma says that. -Especially Ellie, or was it Sue? We had another one of those "mess of -illusionations" about that time. Sue kept talking about funny looking -men, with funny looking heads, wearing funny looking clothes. She said -they jumped out of a coffee saucer or something like that. Just a baby, -you know, with crazy notions. I never do pay any attention to these -crazy ideas the kids bring up. I once read a book or something, or -maybe someone told me, kids always see things that aren't there. Just -humor them and don't say nothing, so I don't say nothing. - - * * * * * - -We had a couple more kids after Willie. Three I think it was. All nice -strong babies. I remember once Willie asked where they came from. That -was the only near normal question Willie ever asked. He found out quick -enough without any help from me. Willie was like that. He found out all -kinds of goofy things from Lord only knows where. Even kept telling me -that it didn't matter at all what time of moon I planted the crops. -Just a punk kid too big for his breeches. Been farming all my life and -he's telling me. - -To get back to the facts, we asked the folks around here if any of them -had noticed the whereabouts of Willie. Someone said they'd seen him -in the cornfield near the Weston farm. At least, what used to be the -Weston farm. The same night Willie disappeared someone or something -rooted and burned his whole corn patch. - -On the whole most people were too interested in the lights and noises -they were seeing and hearing to pay any attention to Willie's getting -lost. Ma missed Willie at first. He used to keep her company quite a -bit. He was too scrawny to do outside work, so he used to help Ma in -the house. But soon even Ma got used to the idea. Now she don't mention -him no more. - -Don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's because you're new -around here and I thought you might be interested. - -Hey Ma! How about a fresh pot of coffee? This one's about gone. - -About Willie now, it might be the time of year that makes me think -about him. It's harvest time you know. The time Willie disappeared. -Hey Ma, tell those kids to cut the noise out there. Can't hear myself -think. Now where were we? Come to think of it, the kids are all in bed -by now. Hard day harvesting. - -Maybe I'd better check on the noise. Want to come along? Watch your -head as you go out. The stoop is kind of low. I always bang my head if -I don't stop to think about it. - -Hey you! What you doing in my corn? Guldurn flying saucer or no guldurn -flying saucer, that guldurn thing is ruining my crop! Hey, there's -some people or what look like people. Say, they remind me of Willie, -big heads and scrawny bodies. Well, what do you know? It's Willie! -Willie, where you been and where'd you get that get up? Tell those -things you're with to get the saucer thing off my corn. Just wait till -your Ma sees you. She's been worried sick. Fine thing! Leaving us in -the middle of harvest. Hey Ma! It's Willie! - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HEY MA, WHERE'S WILLIE? *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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M. Bukstein</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Hey Ma, Where's Willie?</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: I. M. Bukstein</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 26, 2021 [eBook #65924]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HEY MA, WHERE'S WILLIE? ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>"HEY MA, WHERE'S WILLIE?"</h1> - -<h2>By I. M. Bukstein</h2> - -<p>"No, sir, we wasn't fooled by them lights<br /> -in the night sky. Illusionations, we call 'em.<br /> -Funny though, Willie disappeared that night!"</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -October 1952<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Just where Willie went, I ain't sure. I wonder sometimes, especially -around harvest because that is about the time we found Willie was -missing. I should pine after him a little. He was my son, but somehow I -never took a hankering toward Willie like I ought to. I got five other -boys a lot smarter, bigger, and nicer to look at than Willie ever was, -besides four girls that's as pretty as they come. But when someone -disappears, like Willie did, even if you don't care particularly much -you kind of wonder at times just how it came about.</p> - -<p>Willie was near about fourteen or thereabouts. I never could remember -for sure. He wasn't the oldest and he wasn't the youngest. But then -with ten kids and ten ages to keep track of a man can't be expected to -remember. Anyhow he'd be about sixteen now, since it was two years ago -that it happened.</p> - -<p>It was a bad time for him to be skipping off, too. We were in the -middle of harvest. We had corn to get in, besides which we had a bit of -a scare around here with lights flashing in the hills and funny noises -at night. The fellows who know call that sort of thing by some fancy -name. "Mass illusionations," I guess they'd say.</p> - -<p>Well, one night we sat down to chow. We'd worked hard all day, so we -were filling ourselves as full as we could. Ma is a right good cook -when she bothers, and the girls do all right by themselves. When we -finished, Joey pops up. I think it was Joey. I can't rightly remember. -When you got ten kids and ten names to keep track of you're bound to -have a hard time remembering.</p> - -<p>Anyhow, one of the kids pops up and says, "Look, Pa! Willie's plate is -all full up with chow and no Willie."</p> - -<p>Ma looks down the row and tallies them up. Sure thing, nine kids and no -Willie. I kind of wondered why Willie wasn't around. He's usually the -first to eat and the last to stop. Ma looked worried.</p> - -<p>"Well," I says. "Pass his plate. Don't want any food to go to waste." -So, the plate is passed down to me. By the time it goes down the line -of kids there's one porkchop left. I eat the porkchop and forget about -Willie for a while.</p> - -<p>Next morning, Joey comes up and says Willie wasn't home last night.</p> - -<p>"So," I says. "Willie wasn't home last night. Where's breakfast?" Ma -looks worried. Like I say Ma always liked Willie.</p> - -<p>"OK, Ma," I pipes up. "We'll ask the neighbors. It'd be easy to spot -Willie anywhere." That's what I figured. Even though I hate to say it -about my own son, Willie was plumb peculiar to look at. He had a head -that looked like it belonged on a man a hundred pounds heavier. It sat -like a knob on the end of a scrawny, skinny body. A body too scrawny to -be much use in farming.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He sure was dumb too, that Willie. If you put him out to plow a -straight line, he'd plow a circle. If you wanted him to plow a curve, -he'd plow a zig-zag line. He wasn't like the other boys. Willie got -kicked out of school when he was eight. Not that the other boys -finished school, but he got kicked out real disgraceful-like. Now -Bennie, he set fire to the teacher's chair; Joey burned down the whole -school building. But Willie, guldurn Willie, he read all the books he -could get ahold of till he knew more than the teacher: so of course, -the teacher had to kick him out to save her face. Take Willie to pull -a trick like that. Asked her such fool questions that she had to close -the school for a couple months to take a rest cure. That was Willie for -you.</p> - -<p>Sometimes I wonder myself why Willie don't mean as much to me as some -of the other kids do. Maybe it's because I wasn't around when Willie -was born. Just happened the draft, the war draft that is, called my -number. That was for the second world war. Well anyhow they didn't want -me. I guess the government didn't want to support my kids. Don't blame -them though.</p> - -<p>I go to the city and two weeks later I come back and there is Willie. -He's just an ordinary baby, no hair and no teeth.</p> - -<p>"Kinda homely," I says to Ma. But she doesn't seem to care, so I figure -I don't care either.</p> - -<p>Willie grew up and Willie kept getting in the way. Asked all kinds of -silly questions. Sure, the others always wanted to know why the grass -is green; but not Willie. Willie asks some silly question about "the -relative merits of transistor amplifiers as compared to vacuum tubes." -That ain't all the questions he asked. But you get the idea. Willie -always acted kind of big for his breeches.</p> - -<p>Ma always seemed to encourage him too. Keeps saying Willie ain't my -son. I know she's kidding, of course. I reckon she means sort of -like, in spirit he ain't my son. In that respect, I agree with her. -Willie sure ain't my son. Some of the kids titter when Ma says that. -Especially Ellie, or was it Sue? We had another one of those "mess of -illusionations" about that time. Sue kept talking about funny looking -men, with funny looking heads, wearing funny looking clothes. She said -they jumped out of a coffee saucer or something like that. Just a baby, -you know, with crazy notions. I never do pay any attention to these -crazy ideas the kids bring up. I once read a book or something, or -maybe someone told me, kids always see things that aren't there. Just -humor them and don't say nothing, so I don't say nothing.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>We had a couple more kids after Willie. Three I think it was. All nice -strong babies. I remember once Willie asked where they came from. That -was the only near normal question Willie ever asked. He found out quick -enough without any help from me. Willie was like that. He found out all -kinds of goofy things from Lord only knows where. Even kept telling me -that it didn't matter at all what time of moon I planted the crops. -Just a punk kid too big for his breeches. Been farming all my life and -he's telling me.</p> - -<p>To get back to the facts, we asked the folks around here if any of them -had noticed the whereabouts of Willie. Someone said they'd seen him -in the cornfield near the Weston farm. At least, what used to be the -Weston farm. The same night Willie disappeared someone or something -rooted and burned his whole corn patch.</p> - -<p>On the whole most people were too interested in the lights and noises -they were seeing and hearing to pay any attention to Willie's getting -lost. Ma missed Willie at first. He used to keep her company quite a -bit. He was too scrawny to do outside work, so he used to help Ma in -the house. But soon even Ma got used to the idea. Now she don't mention -him no more.</p> - -<p>Don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's because you're new -around here and I thought you might be interested.</p> - -<p>Hey Ma! How about a fresh pot of coffee? This one's about gone.</p> - -<p>About Willie now, it might be the time of year that makes me think -about him. It's harvest time you know. The time Willie disappeared. -Hey Ma, tell those kids to cut the noise out there. Can't hear myself -think. Now where were we? Come to think of it, the kids are all in bed -by now. Hard day harvesting.</p> - -<p>Maybe I'd better check on the noise. Want to come along? Watch your -head as you go out. The stoop is kind of low. I always bang my head if -I don't stop to think about it.</p> - -<p>Hey you! What you doing in my corn? Guldurn flying saucer or no guldurn -flying saucer, that guldurn thing is ruining my crop! Hey, there's -some people or what look like people. Say, they remind me of Willie, -big heads and scrawny bodies. Well, what do you know? It's Willie! -Willie, where you been and where'd you get that get up? Tell those -things you're with to get the saucer thing off my corn. Just wait till -your Ma sees you. She's been worried sick. Fine thing! Leaving us in -the middle of harvest. Hey Ma! 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