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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #65912 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65912)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of "Swat the Fly!", by Eleanor Gates
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: "Swat the Fly!"
- A One-Act Fantasy
-
-Author: Eleanor Gates
-
-Contributor: Everett Shinn
-
-Release Date: July 24, 2021 [eBook #65912]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: D A Alexander, David E. Brown, and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
- produced from images generously made available by The Internet
- Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "SWAT THE FLY!" ***
-
-
-
-
- “SWAT THE FLY!”
-
- A ONE-ACT FANTASY
-
- _By_
-
- ELEANOR GATES
-
- AUTHOR OF “THE POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL,” “WE ARE
- SEVEN,” “THE BIOGRAPHY OF A PRAIRIE
- GIRL,” “THE PLOW-WOMAN,” ETC.
-
- COLORED JACKET BY EVERETT SHINN
-
- [Illustration]
-
- THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY
- 116 WEST FIFTY-NINTH STREET
- NEW YORK
-
-
-
-
- _Copyrighted April 17, 1914, as a dramatic composition by
- ELEANOR GATES._
-
- _Copyrighted April, 1915, by
- THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY._
-
- _All rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign
- languages, including the Scandinavian._
-
- _This play may be publicly read without further permission,
- but the acting rights are reserved by the author._
-
-
-
-
- TO
- THE TROOPER
-
-
-
-
-THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY
-
-
- THE DOCTOR
- THE WOMAN INSPECTOR
- THE BOY
- THE DOG
- THE CAT
- THE HORSE
- THE MONKEY
- THE RABBIT
- THE FLY
-
-
-
-
-“SWAT THE FLY!”
-
-
-_A garden in the rear of a laboratory for animal experimentation. A
-high red-brick wall encloses the garden, into which, at the upper
-right-hand corner, juts the granite laboratory building. The interior
-of the laboratory is brilliantly white. From it a door opens upon the
-garden. Beside the door, hanging from a wrought-iron bracket, is a
-globe in which are electric bulbs. The lights are turned on by pressing
-a button in the framework of the door._
-
-_In the garden wall, at left, is a wide door leading to a city street.
-In the rear wall is a square, window-like opening through which can be
-seen the Horse’s standing-stall. The Monkey’s house is in the lower
-right-hand corner of the garden. Directly across from it is the kennel
-of the Dog. The Rabbit’s hutch is placed against the rear wall, close
-to the square opening. The front of the hutch is screened with wire
-netting._
-
-_The garden is covered by a lawn. Flowers grow against its walls, as
-well as in the corners made by the meeting of wall and building. Vines
-climb the bricks on either side of the street door. Above the walls, on
-every side, bend the branches of trees. At the center of the garden is
-a low stone bench._
-
-_It is late evening. The garden is only star-lit. Out of the gloom come
-the sleepy bark of the Dog, the crunching and stamping of the Horse, as
-he feeds, and the cross chatter of the Monkey. The tiny bell, which the
-Cat wears on her collar, tinkles faintly._
-
-_Suddenly the street door opens, and the flash of a pocket search-light
-is turned upon the garden. The Woman Inspector appears in the doorway.
-She wears a coat-suit, a neckpiece formed of the skin of a fox, and
-a hat trimmed with pheasant feathers. She throws her light upon the
-Monkey’s house: upon the door of the laboratory: upon the opening in
-the rear wall. The back of the Horse appears above the sill of the
-opening. The light travels to the Rabbit’s hutch, disclosing a mound of
-snow-white fur._
-
-_The Inspector enters quickly and goes to the Dog, who is lying down,
-his back curved against the entrance to the kennel. The Inspector turns
-her light upon him. He moves._
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Leans to peer into the kennel._)
-
-Here! Let me look at you. A bandage! Oh, poor fellow! That Doctor’s
-been torturing you! (_The Dog growls._) There! There! (_Pats the Dog,
-and goes to the hutch._) A rabbit! (_Makes a brief examination; goes
-to the opening in the wall and looks through at the Horse, flashing
-her light over him. Comes down quickly to the Monkey. He is lying just
-within the door of his house. She drops on one knee._) Well, monkey!
-What’s that Doctor been doing to YOU? (_Reaches in._) Been putting a
-steel gag on you? Oh, the poor foot! (_Soothingly, as the Monkey moves
-and chatters._) There, now! Lie still!
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Calls from the laboratory._)
-
-Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!
-
- (_The Inspector puts out her pocket-flash, springs up, and hides
- behind the Monkey’s house. The Doctor enters, and presses the
- electric button beside the laboratory door. The globe floods the
- garden with light. The Doctor wears a sack suit, but no hat._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! (_Looks about the garden._) Well, how’s
-everybody? (_Goes to the opening in the wall, and reaches to pat the
-Horse._) Hello! How’s the nice old boy? (_Turns toward the hutch._) And
-how’s little Bunny! Eh?
-
- (_The Boy enters from the street. He is wearing pajamas. In his right
- hand, wrapped in paper, he carries a bone. In the circle of his left
- arm he has a banana, which he holds against him; in his left hand
- are an apple and a carrot. He sees the Doctor and halts timidly. The
- Doctor turns from the hutch and sees the boy._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Good evening, young man! Where did YOU come from?
-
-BOY
-
-I came from my bed. (_Backs a step and puts the bone behind him._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-And what are you doing out of your bed?
-
-BOY
-
-I’m feeding your animals. (_Holds out his right hand to show the bone._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Feeding my animals! Why-- --!
-
-BOY
-
-My mother says you starve ’em. So,--here’s a bone for the dog, an’ a
-carrot for the rabbit, an’ a’ apple for the horse, an’ a banana for the
-monkey.
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Laughs and accepts the bone._)
-
-All right. (_Goes to the kennel, the Boy following, and looks in._)
-Hey, dog! Just gnaw on this fine big bone. (_To the boy._) And how did
-you find your way here, at this time of night?
-
-BOY
-
-I followed my mother.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Why, your mother isn’t here!
-
-BOY
-
-Oh, yes, she is. Somewhere. (_Looks behind the kennel._) I saw her come
-in. Oh, Mother! (_Looks behind the Monkey’s house._) Hello, mother!
-(_To the Doctor._) Here she is!
-
- (_The Inspector stands up._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Madam, what are you doing in this garden?
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Examining these animals.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Why should you sneak and hide?
-
- (_The Boy goes to his mother._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Let me introduce myself. (_Opens her coat, displaying a metal badge
-pinned on her breast._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-So you’re a spy!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-I’m an inspector!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-I’ve seen you before.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-I’ve been keeping an eye on you.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Well, go ahead! What is it you want to know?
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-I want to know what you do to these poor, dumb creatures.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-I use them to fight the diseases carried by flies.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Sneeringly._)
-
-Oh, you vivisectionists have a FINE excuse for your cruelty! Flies!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Yes, flies! When all the flies are dead, we doctors will be out of a
-job. For now we know that--
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Please come back to the animals.
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Shrugs, crosses to the Monkey._)
-
-Well, this monkey here is--(_The Monkey chatters angrily. The Doctor
-falls back, motioning the Inspector and the Boy to retreat._) Look out!
-He’s bad-tempered!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Ah! You needn’t tell me how you treat HIM! (_The Doctor turns away._)
-And what about that helpless rabbit?
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Goes to the hutch._)
-
-The rabbit furnishes me with typhoid serum. And the neck of my horse is
-full of the serum that cures diphtheria. See! (_Takes a small case from
-a pocket._) I’ll take some serum--just to show you. (_Leans through the
-opening._) Here, back! Back up! Whoa, now!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, don’t! I can’t bear it! Don’t! (_The Horse stamps. She covers her
-eyes._) Don’t, I say! Oh, I’ll have you arrested for this!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-There! (_Turns._) You see what THAT amounts to.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Faces him._)
-
-Oh, don’t try to fool me! You hurt him!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Not more than the flick of a whip. (_Puts the case away._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Triumphantly._)
-
-There you are! The flick of a whip! What do you doctors care about the
-agony of your poor victims!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-I don’t cause pain unless it’s necessary.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Necessary! You shouldn’t be allowed to cause an animal ANY pain!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Oh! Then, of course, you’re a vegetarian.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-I am not!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Well, I AM! You talk about pain! Do you know how lambs are killed? And
-cattle? Do you know anything about slaughtering hogs? THERE’S pain for
-you!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-We must have meat!
-
-BOY
-
- (_Proudly._)
-
-And my father’s going to bring us some venison.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Your father?
-
-BOY
-
-He’s gone to the mountains--to hunt and fish. (_Leans against his
-mother._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_To the Boy._)
-
-Hush!
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Triumphantly._)
-
-Ha! Hunt and fish!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Yes, hunt and fish. Why not?
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Sarcastically._)
-
-My dear lady, I see that you really ARE interested in animals.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Angrily._)
-
-Oh, I know what you mean! But let me tell you something: When my
-husband hunts, he gives an animal a chance for its life. And if he
-kills, he kills quick. But you--you mutilate in the name of science.
-You tie down your victims--and torture!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-I use ether and chloroform. But your husband--when he pulls a trout
-from the stream, it dies of suffocation.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_To the Boy, irritably._)
-
-Don’t lean against me like that!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-And when your husband goes shooting, he doesn’t find every bird that he
-wounds.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-He finds as many as he can.
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Ha! As many as he can! But the ones he DOESN’T find! Are they
-chloroformed? And what about the animals that die in traps? And the
-birds that are snared? (_He points at the Inspector._) How about that
-fox? That pheasant?
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-You’re insulting!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Madam, you’re a fine Inspector! Here you stand, admitting that your
-husband kills for pleasure! And you’re tricked out in the skin and the
-feathers of dumb creatures. Look at that poor head! Those little paws!
-And yet you spy on a man who causes suffering only to save human life!
-
- (_The Boy coughs, and leans heavily against his mother._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Save human life! With your nasty serums, you mean? Oh, what nonsense!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Madam, go home. And take care of your boy!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-You needn’t worry about my boy. (_She draws the Boy to her._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-But, see! His cheeks! He’s got fever.
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_To the Boy._)
-
-Do you feel sick, dear?
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Let ME have a look at him. (_Starts forward._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Puts out hand to check the doctor._)
-
-No! Your hands are stained with the blood of the innocent! Don’t you
-dare to touch him! (_She takes the Boy up in her arms._) I wouldn’t let
-you treat a dog of mine! (_Crosses to the street door and halts to look
-back._) You fiend! (_Goes out._)
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Oh, all right! (_Follows the Inspector to the door, slams it, turns
-toward the laboratory._) But the poor little chap ought to be home in
-bed. (_Strikes at the Fly._) Oh, you pest! (_Looks up at the top of the
-wall, to where the Fly has gone, turns, touches the electric button,
-putting the garden again in darkness, and closes the laboratory door
-after him._)
-
-DOG
-
- (_Howls mournfully._)
-
-Woo--oo--oo--oo! (_Pause._) Woo--oo--oo!
-
- (_The Cat meows as if frightened. The Monkey chatters angrily. The
- Horse snorts. The globe again lights the garden, and the Monkey
- is standing with one fore-paw on the electric button. The other
- paw is bandaged. The Dog is outside his kennel. He, too, wears a
- bandage--about his head. It gives him a rakish expression. The Rabbit
- is sitting in front of her hutch. She moves her ears nervously._)
-
-DOG
-
- (_Howls._)
-
-Woo--oo--oo--oo!
-
- (_The Cat appears from behind the Monkey’s house. She wears a gay
- collar to which is attached a small bell._)
-
-CAT
-
- (_Anxiously._)
-
-Dog! Are you sick?
-
- (_The Monkey comes down to observe the Dog._)
-
-DOG
-
-No. Cat, no! (_Howls._) Woo--oo--oo!
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Crossly._)
-
-Well, if you’re not sick, what’re you howling about?
-
-DOG
-
-Oh, somebody’s going to die. Woo--oo--oo--oo!
-
- (_The animals are greatly excited. The Rabbit and the Cat join the
- Monkey, while the Horse snorts and stamps._)
-
-RABBIT
-
-Oh, Dog, is it I?
-
-HORSE
-
- (_Puts his head in at the square opening._)
-
-Or I?
-
-CAT
-
-Oh, I’m scared! (_Puts her paws to her eyes._)
-
-DOG
-
-Don’t worry, Cat. It’s not one of us!
-
-MONKEY
-
-Not? Then cut out that howling! Y’ know, I’VE got NERVES.
-
-HORSE
-
-Is it the Doctor?
-
- (_The Dog shakes his head._)
-
-MONKEY
-
-No such luck!
-
-HORSE
-
-Is it the Inspector?
-
-RABBIT
-
-And she defended us! Oh! Oh!
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_To the Rabbit._)
-
-Blame that Doctor! It’s HIS fault!
-
-DOG
-
-Rabbit, it’s not the Inspector.
-
-CAT
-
-Then it’s the Boy!
-
-ALL
-
-Is it? Tell us! Oh, Dog!
-
-DOG
-
-I’m afraid it’s the Boy. Woo--oo--oo--oo!
-
-CAT
-
-The Boy? Meow! Meow!
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_To the Cat._)
-
-Oh, shut up! Here I am, that Boy’s own cousin, as you might say, and
-I’M not crying!
-
-RABBIT
-
-What’s the matter with the Boy?
-
-CAT and HORSE
-
- (_Together._)
-
-Yes! Yes! What?
-
-MONKEY
-
-Wasn’t the Boy just here? I tell you, it’s that DOCTOR!
-
-DOG
-
-Oh, poor little Boy! Oh, his throat. Woo--oo--oo!
-
-HORSE
-
-Throat! Oh! Dear! Dear!
-
-MONKEY
-
-Ah-ha! (_To the Horse._) Didn’t that Doctor give YOU something, in YOUR
-throat?
-
-ALL
-
-That’s so! Yes! He did!
-
-MONKEY
-
-That’s your proof! (_Sits on the stone bench._)
-
-CAT
-
-Then it’s true?
-
-MONKEY
-
-As true as there’s milk in cocoanuts.
-
-RABBIT
-
-Oh! Oh!
-
-HORSE
-
-Well, I’m only a horse!
-
-DOG
-
-But the Boy is almost a man.
-
-MONKEY
-
-Ya-a-ah! Look at how that Doctor treats ME! And I’M almost a man.
-
-ALL
-
-Yes. A man. Almost. You are.
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Rises proudly._)
-
-Indeed, I am! I even THINK like a man. (_The animals agree by nods._)
-And I ought to live in the house with the family. But does that Doctor
-want me? Oh, I hate him! (_Chatters angrily._)
-
-RABBIT
-
-And _I_ hate him! (_Moves her ears._)
-
-MONKEY
-
-My friends, this Doctor is the cause of ALL our troubles. I wish HE
-were going to die. (_Animals are shocked._) Yes! And for half a banana
-I’d kill him!
-
-ALL
-
-Kill him! Oh!
-
-MONKEY
-
-Yes, kill him, and set you all free. (_Takes proud attitude._)
-
-ALL
-
-Free? Free? Could you? (_The Horse whinnies, the Cat plays, the Dog
-barks, the Rabbit moves her ears._)
-
-MONKEY
-
-Could I? Rather! (_Struts to and fro._)
-
-RABBIT
-
-But HOW could you kill him?
-
-MONKEY
-
-How? Easy enough! (_To the others._) Now, HOW shall--er--WE kill him?
-
-HORSE
-
-I suppose I could kick him.
-
-DOG
-
-And I could bite him. Like that!
-
-CAT
-
-I could scratch his eyes out. Pst! Pst!
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Proudly._)
-
-I could fight him man to man! Come, friends! (_He motions the Rabbit,
-the Cat and the Dog to him._) We’ll bite him, we’ll kick him, we’ll
-scratch him, we’ll kill him together.
-
-ALL
-
-Yes! Yes! We’ll kill him!
-
-FLY
-
- (_Appears on the wall above the Horse._)
-
-Buzz-z-z-z-z-z!
-
- (_Animals look up. The eyes of the Fly glow red._)
-
-Buzz-z-z-z-z-z!
-
-ALL
-
-The Fly! The Fly! The Fly! (_They go toward him._)
-
-FLY
-
-Hey, all of you! Wait a minute! If you’re going to kill that Doctor,
-_I_ want to help!
-
-ALL
-
-Come down! Yes! Help!
-
- (_The Fly descends the wall; buzzing loudly. The others conduct him
- forward._)
-
-FLY
-
-Ladies and gentlemen, I was fast asleep up there, out of the way of
-the spiders, when all of a sudden I was awakened by the music of your
-voices. And I heard your delicious scheme. Oh, I yearn to be a part of
-it! For I hate that Doctor, too!
-
-ALL
-
- (_Surprised._)
-
-You? Why? Why?
-
-FLY
-
-Why? Saucers of poisoned sugar-water, THAT’S why! Reams of sticky
-tangle-foot, that’s why! And did you hear what he said to your friend,
-the Inspector? And did you see him SWAT at me as he went out?
-
-ALL
-
- (_Sympathetically._)
-
-Yes! Yes! Meow! Bow-wow! Ee-ee-ee!
-
-FLY
-
-Yes! This same Doctor who tortures you! Look at poor Horse--full of
-diphtheria!
-
-HORSE
-
-Well, of course, it doesn’t hurt!
-
-FLY
-
-If it hurt, he’d do it just the same. (_To the Monkey._) And think how
-he treats you--you ought to be a member of his household.
-
-MONKEY
-
-People are NEVER kind to their poor relations.
-
-FLY
-
- (_To the Dog._)
-
-And, oh, what he hasn’t done to YOU! (_The Dog growls. To the Rabbit._)
-And you’re full of typhoid. (_The Rabbit gives a little scream. To the
-Cat._) And you’ll be the NEXT!
-
-CAT
-
-Meow!!
-
-FLY
-
-And so he must die! (_To the Horse._) But if you kick him, his friends
-will shoot you. (_To the Dog._) If you bite him, they’ll think you’re
-mad! (_To the Cat._) If you scratch him, they’ll wring your neck. So
-you’d better let ME kill him!
-
-ALL
-
-YOU?
-
-FLY
-
-And nobody will ever know! Buzz-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z! (_His eyes glow
-red._)
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Contemptuously._)
-
-How can a mere fly kill a man?
-
-ALL
-
-Oh, he can’t! Impossible! No.
-
-MONKEY
-
-A common fly, too. A common house fly.
-
-FLY
-
-So you doubt it, do you? (_Proudly._) My friends, it is _I_ who am
-killing that Boy!
-
-ALL
-
-You? Oh! The Boy!
-
-FLY
-
-Yes, I!
-
-DOG
-
- (_Howls._)
-
-Woo--oo--oo--oo!
-
-FLY
-
-The other day, when he was having his breakfast, I lit on the edge of
-his glass of milk. (_Darkly._) And I wiped my foot! (_Making a wiping
-motion with his right front foot._)
-
-ALL
-
-Your FOOT?
-
-FLY
-
-But what’s one boy! Huh! With the help of my thousand children, I could
-wipe out this whole town! (_Animals turn away incredulously. The Horse
-brays like a donkey in derision. The Cat puts a paw over her mouth to
-hide a smile._) I could, I tell you. (_To the Cat._) Haven’t I the
-entrée to the best homes?
-
-CAT
-
- (_Nods._)
-
-Oh, meow!
-
-HORSE
-
-And to the best stables! (_Stamps._)
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Crossly._)
-
-While I have to stay out in a garden!
-
-FLY
-
-Well, then! At this moment I have six million, six hundred thousand
-germs on my feet. (_Raises his right front foot._) Here’s my diphtheria!
-
-HORSE
-
-Oh, horrible! (_Stamps._)
-
- (_The Dog starts, and stares at the Fly._)
-
-FLY
-
- (_Holds up first left foot._)
-
-And here’s typhoid!
-
-RABBIT
-
-Er--ah!
-
-DOG
-
-Typhoid, too!
-
-FLY
-
-I’m the best little carrier of typhoid the world has ever seen.
-
-DOG
-
- (_Grimly._)
-
-Go on! Go on!
-
-FLY
-
- (_Holds up second right foot._)
-
-Here I keep scarlet fever. (_Holds up second left foot._) And here’s
-small-pox! (_Holds up third right foot._) And here’s the white plague.
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Falls back, frightened._)
-
-Ee--ee--ee!
-
-FLY
-
-Now, ladies and gentlemen, here I am, germed to the feet! How shall
-that Doctor die?
-
-DOG
-
- (_Significantly._)
-
-So, Mr. Fly, you carry ALL the diseases?
-
-FLY
-
- (_Proudly._)
-
-I carry them all! All! Even infantile paralysis! (_Laughs._) And let me
-tell you a little joke! They’ll never get rid of disease as long as I’M
-alive. Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z!
-
-DOG
-
-Friends, we’ve been blaming the wrong person!
-
-ALL
-
-What? You mean--? Tell us!
-
-DOG
-
-It’s not the Doctor. This Fly is our REAL enemy!
-
-ALL
-
-Enemy! The Fly! (_They fall away from the Fly._)
-
-FLY
-
- (_To the Dog._)
-
-How can you turn on me like that? I’ve tickled your nose. I’ve kept you
-awake. But--
-
-DOG
-
-Silence! (_To the others._) If this Fly didn’t carry disease, there
-wouldn’t be sickness. If there wasn’t sickness, the Doctor wouldn’t
-have to experiment on us.
-
- (_The Horse snorts, the Monkey chatters, the Cat spits, the Rabbit
- moves her ears._)
-
-FLY
-
-Oh, you ungrateful beasts!
-
-DOG
-
-You bug! You ungrateful bug! If there’s a warm corner in the house, you
-have it; if there’s a sweet cake in the cupboard, you eat it. And for
-all the hospitality that’s shown you, what do you do? You carry filth!
-You carry death! You even murder little babies!
-
-FLY
-
-And what do YOU do? You sit in the laps of women!
-
-DOG
-
-I may sit in the laps of women, but I don’t put my feet in their food!
-
-CAT
-
-Good for you, Dog! (_The other animals show approval._)
-
-FLY
-
- (_To the Cat._)
-
-You little sneak. What have I ever done to you?
-
-CAT
-
-Your relatives fall into my milk!
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_To the Fly._)
-
-So YOU carry the white plague? Ee-ee-ee! (_Points a long finger at the
-Fly._)
-
-HORSE
-
-And every time you give somebody diphtheria, the Doctor runs a needle
-into me. (_Stamps his feet._)
-
-DOG
-
-Friends, I have a plan.
-
-ALL
-
-What is it? Go ahead! Yes! Hear! Hear!
-
-DOG
-
-It’s this: (_Darkly._) Swat the Fly!
-
-FLY
-
-Oh, Dog! No! No!
-
-DOG
-
-Swat him! He’s worse than a rattlesnake!
-
-FLY
-
-Oh, but you wouldn’t! I’m little! So little!
-
-DOG
-
-It’s only BECAUSE you’re little that you’ve lived so long! (_To the
-others._) We’ll swat him! We’ll swat him!
-
-FLY
-
-Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! (_He moves his wings; his eyes glow
-red. As he attempts to back away the animals form in a half circle and
-block his retreat._)
-
-ALL
-
-Yes, swat him! Swat him! Swat him!
-
-FLY
-
-Oh, wait, wait! Oh, ladies and gentlemen!
-
-ALL
-
-Swat the Fly! Swat the Fly!
-
-FLY
-
- (_Holds up his third left foot._)
-
-Look out! On this foot I carry a disease that’s death to animals!
-
-RABBIT
-
-Oh! Oh! (_Hops aside and covers her eyes with her forepaws. Her ears
-tremble._)
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Retreats in the opposite direction and cowers in fear._)
-
-Oh! Oh!
-
-DOG
-
-Come on, Kitten!
-
-CAT
-
-Swat him! Swat him!
-
-HORSE
-
-Swat him! (_Rears excitedly._)
-
-FLY
-
-Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z!
-
- (_There is a struggle. The Dog growls; the Cat spits. Suddenly the
- Dog and the Cat separate. The Fly is lying on his back, dead. The Cat
- and the Dog come down to the kennel. The Rabbit uncovers her eyes.
- The Monkey regains his brave air._)
-
-HORSE
-
-Well, good-bye to one little germ carrier!
-
-DOG
-
-And a thousand little flies are fatherless.
-
-CAT
-
- (_Smoothes her fur._)
-
-Why, that Doctor brought me home when I was starving in the street!
-Purr-r-r! Purr-r-r!
-
-RABBIT
-
-And he took ME away from a bad little boy! (_Hops to the hutch._)
-
-MONKEY
-
-And after all, he’s a relative of mine. And--blood is thicker than
-water! (_He strolls toward the laboratory door._)
-
-DOG
-
-My friend, suppose, after this, that instead of fighting the Doctor, we
-fight the flies!
-
-ALL
-
-Good! Yes! Hoorah! We’ll swat the flies!
-
-DOG
-
- (_Goes to kennel._)
-
-Now, where’s that fine big bone? (_Growls gently; settles down._)
-
-MONKEY
-
- (_Yawns._)
-
-Everybody ready for bed?
-
- (_Chorus of sleepy growls, meows, whinnies, and squeaks. The Monkey
- puts a paw on the push button, and the lights go out._)
-
- (_As the garden goes dark there is the sound of someone running._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Calling from the street._)
-
-Doctor! Help! Oh, Doctor! (_She rushes through the door._) Doctor, oh,
-Doctor, where are you? Oh, Doctor, help!
-
- (_The Doctor throws open the door of the laboratory, enters, and
- presses the electric button. The Inspector is standing beside the
- bench, the Boy in her arms. She wears no hat or coat. Beside her, on
- the lawn, is a cat, wearing a gay collar, to which is fastened a tiny
- bell. A dog comes from the kennel, a horse looks through the square
- opening, and a monkey appears out of the monkey-house._)
-
- (_The Doctor is in his shirt-sleeves. He comes down._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-My boy! My boy’s dying! He can’t breathe!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Here! (_Takes the Boy in his arms, lays him upon the bench, and leans
-down to him._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, save him! Save him! Oh, I can’t lose my boy! What can you do?
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Diphtheria! Wait! (_Takes the case out of his pocket._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, not that, Doctor! No! No!
-
-DOCTOR
-
- (_Brushes the Inspector aside._)
-
-Let me alone! It’s the only thing!
-
- (_The Doctor administers the serum to the Boy._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
- (_Covers her face; drops to her knees in front of the Doctor, her
- back toward him._)
-
-Oh, I don’t care WHAT you do--if you’ll only save him!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Here! Look! (_The Inspector turns._) Oh, it’s wonderful! See! Already!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, my son! My little son!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Relieved! (_Straightens up._) But it was a close shave!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Doctor, will you forgive me?
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Come! Get him into his bed. (_Lifts the Boy in his arms and gives him
-to the Inspector._)
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, I was wrong! I was wrong!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-No, you’re right. Vivisection IS cruel. But disease is cruel--and, oh,
-how cruel is death!
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, I’m ashamed! Here I was, spying on you, fighting--
-
-DOCTOR
-
-I’m willing to be watched. But if you trust us doctors with the lives
-of your children, can’t you trust us with the lives of cats and dogs?
-
-INSPECTOR
-
-Oh, yes! Yes! (_Starts to go; turns._) Oh, how can I ever thank you!
-You’ve saved my boy!
-
-DOCTOR
-
-Don’t thank me. Thank your brother, the horse!
-
- (_The Inspector goes out, murmuring to the Boy._)
-
-Well, old fellow! (_The Doctor pats the horse, and gives him sugar._)
-You saved him. And I WISH you could know it! (_Stoops to stroke the
-cat._) Ah! Here’s a dead fly! (_Picks up a fly from the floor._)
-
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-
-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of "Swat the Fly!", by Eleanor Gates</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: "Swat the Fly!"</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:0;'>A One-Act Fantasy</p>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Eleanor Gates</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Contributor: Everett Shinn</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 24, 2021 [eBook #65912]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: D A Alexander, David E. Brown, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "SWAT THE FLY!" ***</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/cover.jpg" width="75%" alt="" /></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>&#8220;SWAT THE FLY!&#8221;</h1>
-
-<p><span class="large">A ONE-ACT FANTASY</span></p>
-
-<p><i>By</i><br />
-
-<span class="large"><span class="smcap">Eleanor Gates</span></span></p>
-
-<p>AUTHOR OF &#8220;THE POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL,&#8221; &#8220;WE ARE<br />
-SEVEN,&#8221; &#8220;THE BIOGRAPHY OF A PRAIRIE<br />
-GIRL,&#8221; &#8220;THE PLOW-WOMAN,&#8221; ETC.</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Colored Jacket by Everett Shinn</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_title.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-
-<p><span class="large">THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">116 West Fifty-Ninth Street</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">New York</span>
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center">
-<i>Copyrighted April 17, 1914, as a dramatic composition by</i><br />
-<span class="smcap">Eleanor Gates</span>.<br />
-<br />
-<i>Copyrighted April, 1915, by</i><br />
-<span class="smcap">The Arrow Publishing Company</span>.<br />
-<br />
-<i>All rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign languages,<br />
-including the Scandinavian.</i><br />
-<br />
-<i>This play may be publicly read without further permission,<br />
-but the acting rights are reserved by the author.</i></p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center">
-<span class="large">TO<br />
-THE TROOPER</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph1">THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY</p>
-
-
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse">THE DOCTOR</div>
-<div class="verse">THE WOMAN INSPECTOR</div>
-<div class="verse">THE BOY</div>
-<div class="verse">THE DOG</div>
-<div class="verse">THE CAT</div>
-<div class="verse">THE HORSE</div>
-<div class="verse">THE MONKEY</div>
-<div class="verse">THE RABBIT</div>
-<div class="verse">THE FLY</div>
-</div></div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span>
-<h2 class="nobreak">&#8220;SWAT THE FLY!&#8221;</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p><i>A garden in the rear of a laboratory for animal experimentation.
-A high red-brick wall encloses the garden, into which, at the upper
-right-hand corner, juts the granite laboratory building. The interior
-of the laboratory is brilliantly white. From it a door opens upon
-the garden. Beside the door, hanging from a wrought-iron bracket,
-is a globe in which are electric bulbs. The lights are turned on by
-pressing a button in the framework of the door.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>In the garden wall, at left, is a wide door leading to a city street.
-In the rear wall is a square, window-like opening through which
-can be seen the Horse&#8217;s standing-stall. The Monkey&#8217;s house is in
-the lower right-hand corner of the garden. Directly across from it
-is the kennel of the Dog. The Rabbit&#8217;s hutch is placed against the
-rear wall, close to the square opening. The front of the hutch is
-screened with wire netting.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The garden is covered by a lawn. Flowers grow against its walls,
-as well as in the corners made by the meeting of wall and building.
-Vines climb the bricks on either side of the street door. Above the
-walls, on every side, bend the branches of trees. At the center of the
-garden is a low stone bench.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>It is late evening. The garden is only star-lit. Out of the gloom
-come the sleepy bark of the Dog, the crunching and stamping of
-the Horse, as he feeds, and the cross chatter of the Monkey. The
-tiny bell, which the Cat wears on her collar, tinkles faintly.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Suddenly the street door opens, and the flash of a pocket search-light
-is turned upon the garden. The Woman Inspector appears<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span>
-in the doorway. She wears a coat-suit, a neckpiece formed of the
-skin of a fox, and a hat trimmed with pheasant feathers. She
-throws her light upon the Monkey&#8217;s house: upon the door of the
-laboratory: upon the opening in the rear wall. The back of the
-Horse appears above the sill of the opening. The light travels to
-the Rabbit&#8217;s hutch, disclosing a mound of snow-white fur.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The Inspector enters quickly and goes to the Dog, who is lying
-down, his back curved against the entrance to the kennel. The
-Inspector turns her light upon him. He moves.</i></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Leans to peer into the kennel.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Here! Let me look at you. A bandage! Oh, poor fellow!
-That Doctor&#8217;s been torturing you! (<i>The Dog growls.</i>) There!
-There! (<i>Pats the Dog, and goes to the hutch.</i>) A rabbit!
-(<i>Makes a brief examination; goes to the opening in the wall and
-looks through at the Horse, flashing her light over him. Comes
-down quickly to the Monkey. He is lying just within the door of
-his house. She drops on one knee.</i>) Well, monkey! What&#8217;s
-that Doctor been doing to YOU? (<i>Reaches in.</i>) Been putting
-a steel gag on you? Oh, the poor foot! (<i>Soothingly, as the
-Monkey moves and chatters.</i>) There, now! Lie still!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Calls from the laboratory.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Inspector puts out her pocket-flash, springs up,
-and hides behind the Monkey&#8217;s house. The Doctor
-enters, and presses the electric button beside the laboratory
-door. The globe floods the garden with light. The
-Doctor wears a sack suit, but no hat.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! (<i>Looks about the garden.</i>) Well,
-how&#8217;s everybody? (<i>Goes to the opening in the wall, and reaches
-to pat the Horse.</i>) Hello! How&#8217;s the nice old boy? (<i>Turns
-toward the hutch.</i>) And how&#8217;s little Bunny! Eh?</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Boy enters from the street. He is wearing
-pajamas. In his right hand, wrapped in paper, he
-carries a bone. In the circle of his left arm he has a
-banana, which he holds against him; in his left hand
-are an apple and a carrot. He sees the Doctor and
-halts timidly. The Doctor turns from the hutch and
-sees the boy.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Good evening, young man! Where did YOU come from?</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>I came from my bed. (<i>Backs a step and puts the bone behind
-him.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>And what are you doing out of your bed?</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;m feeding your animals. (<i>Holds out his right hand to show
-the bone.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Feeding my animals! Why&mdash; &mdash;!</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>My mother says you starve &#8217;em. So,&mdash;here&#8217;s a bone for the
-dog, an&#8217; a carrot for the rabbit, an&#8217; a&#8217; apple for the horse, an&#8217; a
-banana for the monkey.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Laughs and accepts the bone.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>All right. (<i>Goes to the kennel, the Boy following, and looks in.</i>)
-Hey, dog! Just gnaw on this fine big bone. (<i>To the boy.</i>) And
-how did you find your way here, at this time of night?</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>I followed my mother.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Why, your mother isn&#8217;t here!</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>Oh, yes, she is. Somewhere. (<i>Looks behind the kennel.</i>) I
-saw her come in. Oh, Mother! (<i>Looks behind the Monkey&#8217;s
-house.</i>) Hello, mother! (<i>To the Doctor.</i>) Here she is!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Inspector stands up.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Madam, what are you doing in this garden?</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Examining these animals.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Why should you sneak and hide?</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Boy goes to his mother.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Let me introduce myself. (<i>Opens her coat, displaying a metal
-badge pinned on her breast.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>So you&#8217;re a spy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;m an inspector!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;ve seen you before.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;ve been keeping an eye on you.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Well, go ahead! What is it you want to know?</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>I want to know what you do to these poor, dumb creatures.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>I use them to fight the diseases carried by flies.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Sneeringly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, you vivisectionists have a FINE excuse for your cruelty!
-Flies!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Yes, flies! When all the flies are dead, we doctors will be out
-of a job. For now we know that&mdash;</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Please come back to the animals.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Shrugs, crosses to the Monkey.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Well, this monkey here is&mdash;(<i>The Monkey chatters angrily.
-The Doctor falls back, motioning the Inspector and the Boy to
-retreat.</i>) Look out! He&#8217;s bad-tempered!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Ah! You needn&#8217;t tell me how you treat HIM! (<i>The Doctor
-turns away.</i>) And what about that helpless rabbit?</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Goes to the hutch.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>The rabbit furnishes me with typhoid serum. And the neck of
-my horse is full of the serum that cures diphtheria. See!
-(<i>Takes a small case from a pocket.</i>) I&#8217;ll take some serum&mdash;just
-to show you. (<i>Leans through the opening.</i>) Here, back!
-Back up! Whoa, now!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, don&#8217;t! I can&#8217;t bear it! Don&#8217;t! (<i>The Horse stamps.
-She covers her eyes.</i>) Don&#8217;t, I say! Oh, I&#8217;ll have you arrested
-for this!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>There! (<i>Turns.</i>) You see what THAT amounts to.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Faces him.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, don&#8217;t try to fool me! You hurt him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Not more than the flick of a whip. (<i>Puts the case away.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Triumphantly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>There you are! The flick of a whip! What do you doctors
-care about the agony of your poor victims!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>I don&#8217;t cause pain unless it&#8217;s necessary.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Necessary! You shouldn&#8217;t be allowed to cause an animal
-ANY pain!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh! Then, of course, you&#8217;re a vegetarian.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>I am not!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Well, I AM! You talk about pain! Do you know how lambs
-are killed? And cattle? Do you know anything about
-slaughtering hogs? THERE&#8217;S pain for you!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>We must have meat!</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Proudly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>And my father&#8217;s going to bring us some venison.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Your father?</p>
-
-<p class="center">BOY</p>
-
-<p>He&#8217;s gone to the mountains&mdash;to hunt and fish. (<i>Leans against
-his mother.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Boy.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Hush!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Triumphantly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Ha! Hunt and fish!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Yes, hunt and fish. Why not?</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Sarcastically.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>My dear lady, I see that you really ARE interested in animals.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Angrily.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, I know what you mean! But let me tell you something:
-When my husband hunts, he gives an animal a chance for its
-life. And if he kills, he kills quick. But you&mdash;you mutilate
-in the name of science. You tie down your victims&mdash;and
-torture!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>I use ether and chloroform. But your husband&mdash;when he pulls
-a trout from the stream, it dies of suffocation.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Boy, irritably.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Don&#8217;t lean against me like that!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>And when your husband goes shooting, he doesn&#8217;t find every
-bird that he wounds.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>He finds as many as he can.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Ha! As many as he can! But the ones he DOESN&#8217;T find!
-Are they chloroformed? And what about the animals that
-die in traps? And the birds that are snared? (<i>He points
-at the Inspector.</i>) How about that fox? That pheasant?</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>You&#8217;re insulting!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Madam, you&#8217;re a fine Inspector! Here you stand, admitting
-that your husband kills for pleasure! And you&#8217;re tricked out
-in the skin and the feathers of dumb creatures. Look at that
-poor head! Those little paws! And yet you spy on a man
-who causes suffering only to save human life!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Boy coughs, and leans heavily against his
-mother.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Save human life! With your nasty serums, you mean? Oh,
-what nonsense!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Madam, go home. And take care of your boy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>You needn&#8217;t worry about my boy. (<i>She draws the Boy to her.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>But, see! His cheeks! He&#8217;s got fever.</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Boy.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Do you feel sick, dear?</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Let ME have a look at him. (<i>Starts forward.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Puts out hand to check the doctor.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>No! Your hands are stained with the blood of the innocent!
-Don&#8217;t you dare to touch him! (<i>She takes the Boy up in her
-arms.</i>) I wouldn&#8217;t let you treat a dog of mine! (<i>Crosses to
-the street door and halts to look back.</i>) You fiend! (<i>Goes out.</i>)</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, all right! (<i>Follows the Inspector to the door, slams it, turns
-toward the laboratory.</i>) But the poor little chap ought to be
-home in bed. (<i>Strikes at the Fly.</i>) Oh, you pest! (<i>Looks up
-at the top of the wall, to where the Fly has gone, turns, touches the
-electric button, putting the garden again in darkness, and closes
-the laboratory door after him.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Howls mournfully.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo! (<i>Pause.</i>) Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Cat meows as if frightened. The Monkey
-chatters angrily. The Horse snorts. The globe
-again lights the garden, and the Monkey is standing
-with one fore-paw on the electric button. The other
-paw is bandaged. The Dog is outside his kennel. He,
-too, wears a bandage&mdash;about his head. It gives him
-a rakish expression. The Rabbit is sitting in front
-of her hutch. She moves her ears nervously.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Howls.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Cat appears from behind the Monkey&#8217;s house.
-She wears a gay collar to which is attached a small
-bell.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Anxiously.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Dog! Are you sick?</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Monkey comes down to observe the Dog.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>No. Cat, no! (<i>Howls.</i>) Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Crossly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Well, if you&#8217;re not sick, what&#8217;re you howling about?</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Oh, somebody&#8217;s going to die. Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The animals are greatly excited. The Rabbit and
-the Cat join the Monkey, while the Horse snorts and
-stamps.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>Oh, Dog, is it I?</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Puts his head in at the square opening.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Or I?</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Oh, I&#8217;m scared! (<i>Puts her paws to her eyes.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Don&#8217;t worry, Cat. It&#8217;s not one of us!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Not? Then cut out that howling! Y&#8217; know, I&#8217;VE got
-NERVES.</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Is it the Doctor?</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Dog shakes his head.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>No such luck!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Is it the Inspector?</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>And she defended us! Oh! Oh!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Rabbit.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Blame that Doctor! It&#8217;s HIS fault!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Rabbit, it&#8217;s not the Inspector.</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Then it&#8217;s the Boy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Is it? Tell us! Oh, Dog!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;m afraid it&#8217;s the Boy. Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>The Boy? Meow! Meow!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Cat.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, shut up! Here I am, that Boy&#8217;s own cousin, as you might
-say, and I&#8217;M not crying!</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>What&#8217;s the matter with the Boy?</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT and HORSE</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Together.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Yes! Yes! What?</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Wasn&#8217;t the Boy just here? I tell you, it&#8217;s that DOCTOR!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Oh, poor little Boy! Oh, his throat. Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Throat! Oh! Dear! Dear!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Ah-ha! (<i>To the Horse.</i>) Didn&#8217;t that Doctor give YOU
-something, in YOUR throat?</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>That&#8217;s so! Yes! He did!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>That&#8217;s your proof! (<i>Sits on the stone bench.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Then it&#8217;s true?</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>As true as there&#8217;s milk in cocoanuts.</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>Oh! Oh!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Well, I&#8217;m only a horse!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>But the Boy is almost a man.</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Ya-a-ah! Look at how that Doctor treats ME! And I&#8217;M
-almost a man.</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Yes. A man. Almost. You are.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Rises proudly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Indeed, I am! I even THINK like a man. (<i>The animals
-agree by nods.</i>) And I ought to live in the house with the
-family. But does that Doctor want me? Oh, I hate him!
-(<i>Chatters angrily.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>And <i>I</i> hate him! (<i>Moves her ears.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>My friends, this Doctor is the cause of ALL our troubles. I
-wish HE were going to die. (<i>Animals are shocked.</i>) Yes!
-And for half a banana I&#8217;d kill him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Kill him! Oh!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Yes, kill him, and set you all free. (<i>Takes proud attitude.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Free? Free? Could you? (<i>The Horse whinnies, the Cat
-plays, the Dog barks, the Rabbit moves her ears.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>Could I? Rather! (<i>Struts to and fro.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>But HOW could you kill him?</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>How? Easy enough! (<i>To the others.</i>) Now, HOW shall&mdash;er&mdash;WE
-kill him?</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>I suppose I could kick him.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>And I could bite him. Like that!</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>I could scratch his eyes out. Pst! Pst!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Proudly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>I could fight him man to man! Come, friends! (<i>He motions
-the Rabbit, the Cat and the Dog to him.</i>) We&#8217;ll bite him, we&#8217;ll
-kick him, we&#8217;ll scratch him, we&#8217;ll kill him together.</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Yes! Yes! We&#8217;ll kill him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Appears on the wall above the Horse.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Buzz-z-z-z-z-z!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Animals look up. The eyes of the Fly glow red.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Buzz-z-z-z-z-z!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>The Fly! The Fly! The Fly! (<i>They go toward him.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Hey, all of you! Wait a minute! If you&#8217;re going to kill that
-Doctor, <i>I</i> want to help!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Come down! Yes! Help!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Fly descends the wall; buzzing loudly. The
-others conduct him forward.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Ladies and gentlemen, I was fast asleep up there, out of the way
-of the spiders, when all of a sudden I was awakened by the
-music of your voices. And I heard your delicious scheme.
-Oh, I yearn to be a part of it! For I hate that Doctor, too!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Surprised.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>You? Why? Why?</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Why? Saucers of poisoned sugar-water, THAT&#8217;S why!
-Reams of sticky tangle-foot, that&#8217;s why! And did you hear
-what he said to your friend, the Inspector? And did you see
-him SWAT at me as he went out?</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Sympathetically.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Yes! Yes! Meow! Bow-wow! Ee-ee-ee!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Yes! This same Doctor who tortures you! Look at poor
-Horse&mdash;full of diphtheria!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Well, of course, it doesn&#8217;t hurt!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>If it hurt, he&#8217;d do it just the same. (<i>To the Monkey.</i>) And
-think how he treats you&mdash;you ought to be a member of his
-household.</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>People are NEVER kind to their poor relations.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Dog.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>And, oh, what he hasn&#8217;t done to YOU! (<i>The Dog growls.
-To the Rabbit.</i>) And you&#8217;re full of typhoid. (<i>The Rabbit gives
-a little scream. To the Cat.</i>) And you&#8217;ll be the NEXT!</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Meow!!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>And so he must die! (<i>To the Horse.</i>) But if you kick him, his
-friends will shoot you. (<i>To the Dog.</i>) If you bite him, they&#8217;ll
-think you&#8217;re mad! (<i>To the Cat.</i>) If you scratch him, they&#8217;ll
-wring your neck. So you&#8217;d better let ME kill him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>YOU?</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>And nobody will ever know! Buzz-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z! (<i>His
-eyes glow red.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Contemptuously.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>How can a mere fly kill a man?</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Oh, he can&#8217;t! Impossible! No.</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>A common fly, too. A common house fly.</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>So you doubt it, do you? (<i>Proudly.</i>) My friends, it is <i>I</i> who
-am killing that Boy!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>You? Oh! The Boy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Yes, I!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Howls.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Woo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo&mdash;oo!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>The other day, when he was having his breakfast, I lit on the
-edge of his glass of milk. (<i>Darkly.</i>) And I wiped my foot!
-(<i>Making a wiping motion with his right front foot.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Your FOOT?</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>But what&#8217;s one boy! Huh! With the help of my thousand
-children, I could wipe out this whole town! (<i>Animals turn
-away incredulously. The Horse brays like a donkey in derision.
-The Cat puts a paw over her mouth to hide a smile.</i>) I could, I
-tell you. (<i>To the Cat.</i>) Haven&#8217;t I the entr&eacute;e to the best
-homes?</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Nods.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, meow!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>And to the best stables! (<i>Stamps.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Crossly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>While I have to stay out in a garden!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Well, then! At this moment I have six million, six hundred
-thousand germs on my feet. (<i>Raises his right front foot.</i>) Here&#8217;s
-my diphtheria!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Oh, horrible! (<i>Stamps.</i>)</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Dog starts, and stares at the Fly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Holds up first left foot.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>And here&#8217;s typhoid!</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>Er&mdash;ah!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Typhoid, too!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;m the best little carrier of typhoid the world has ever seen.</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Grimly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Go on! Go on!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Holds up second right foot.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Here I keep scarlet fever. (<i>Holds up second left foot.</i>) And
-here&#8217;s small-pox! (<i>Holds up third right foot.</i>) And here&#8217;s the
-white plague.</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Falls back, frightened.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Ee&mdash;ee&mdash;ee!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Now, ladies and gentlemen, here I am, germed to the feet!
-How shall that Doctor die?</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Significantly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>So, Mr. Fly, you carry ALL the diseases?</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Proudly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>I carry them all! All! Even infantile paralysis! (<i>Laughs.</i>)
-And let me tell you a little joke! They&#8217;ll never get rid of
-disease as long as I&#8217;M alive. Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z!
-Buzz-z-z!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Friends, we&#8217;ve been blaming the wrong person!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>What? You mean&mdash;? Tell us!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>It&#8217;s not the Doctor. This Fly is our REAL enemy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Enemy! The Fly! (<i>They fall away from the Fly.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Dog.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>How can you turn on me like that? I&#8217;ve tickled your nose.
-I&#8217;ve kept you awake. But&mdash;</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Silence! (<i>To the others.</i>) If this Fly didn&#8217;t carry disease,
-there wouldn&#8217;t be sickness. If there wasn&#8217;t sickness, the
-Doctor wouldn&#8217;t have to experiment on us.</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Horse snorts, the Monkey chatters, the Cat
-spits, the Rabbit moves her ears.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Oh, you ungrateful beasts!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>You bug! You ungrateful bug! If there&#8217;s a warm corner in
-the house, you have it; if there&#8217;s a sweet cake in the cupboard,
-you eat it. And for all the hospitality that&#8217;s shown you, what
-do you do? You carry filth! You carry death! You even
-murder little babies!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>And what do YOU do? You sit in the laps of women!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>I may sit in the laps of women, but I don&#8217;t put my feet in their
-food!</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Good for you, Dog! (<i>The other animals show approval.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Cat.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>You little sneak. What have I ever done to you?</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Your relatives fall into my milk!</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>To the Fly.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>So YOU carry the white plague? Ee-ee-ee! (<i>Points a long
-finger at the Fly.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>And every time you give somebody diphtheria, the Doctor runs
-a needle into me. (<i>Stamps his feet.</i>)</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Friends, I have a plan.</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>What is it? Go ahead! Yes! Hear! Hear!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>It&#8217;s this: (<i>Darkly.</i>) Swat the Fly!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Oh, Dog! No! No!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Swat him! He&#8217;s worse than a rattlesnake!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Oh, but you wouldn&#8217;t! I&#8217;m little! So little!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>It&#8217;s only BECAUSE you&#8217;re little that you&#8217;ve lived so long!
-(<i>To the others.</i>) We&#8217;ll swat him! We&#8217;ll swat him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! (<i>He moves his wings; his
-eyes glow red. As he attempts to back away the animals form in a
-half circle and block his retreat.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Yes, swat him! Swat him! Swat him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Oh, wait, wait! Oh, ladies and gentlemen!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Swat the Fly! Swat the Fly!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Holds up his third left foot.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Look out! On this foot I carry a disease that&#8217;s death to
-animals!</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>Oh! Oh! (<i>Hops aside and covers her eyes with her forepaws.
-Her ears tremble.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Retreats in the opposite direction and cowers in fear.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh! Oh!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>Come on, Kitten!</p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<p>Swat him! Swat him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Swat him! (<i>Rears excitedly.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">FLY</p>
-
-<p>Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>There is a struggle. The Dog growls; the Cat spits.
-Suddenly the Dog and the Cat separate. The Fly
-is lying on his back, dead. The Cat and the Dog
-come down to the kennel. The Rabbit uncovers her
-eyes. The Monkey regains his brave air.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">HORSE</p>
-
-<p>Well, good-bye to one little germ carrier!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>And a thousand little flies are fatherless.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">CAT</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Smoothes her fur.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Why, that Doctor brought me home when I was starving in the
-street! Purr-r-r! Purr-r-r!</p>
-
-<p class="center">RABBIT</p>
-
-<p>And he took ME away from a bad little boy! (<i>Hops to the
-hutch.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<p>And after all, he&#8217;s a relative of mine. And&mdash;blood is thicker
-than water! (<i>He strolls toward the laboratory door.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<p>My friend, suppose, after this, that instead of fighting the
-Doctor, we fight the flies!</p>
-
-<p class="center">ALL</p>
-
-<p>Good! Yes! Hoorah! We&#8217;ll swat the flies!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOG</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Goes to kennel.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Now, where&#8217;s that fine big bone? (<i>Growls gently; settles down.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">MONKEY</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Yawns.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Everybody ready for bed?</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Chorus of sleepy growls, meows, whinnies, and
-squeaks. The Monkey puts a paw on the push
-button, and the lights go out.</i>)</p>
-
-<p>(<i>As the garden goes dark there is the sound of someone
-running.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Calling from the street.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Doctor! Help! Oh, Doctor! (<i>She rushes through the door.</i>)
-Doctor, oh, Doctor, where are you? Oh, Doctor, help!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Doctor throws open the door of the laboratory,
-enters, and presses the electric button. The Inspector
-is standing beside the bench, the Boy in her arms.
-She wears no hat or coat. Beside her, on the lawn,
-is a cat, wearing a gay collar, to which is fastened a
-tiny bell. A dog comes from the kennel, a horse
-looks through the square opening, and a monkey
-appears out of the monkey-house.</i>)</p>
-
-<p>(<i>The Doctor is in his shirt-sleeves. He comes down.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>My boy! My boy&#8217;s dying! He can&#8217;t breathe!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Here! (<i>Takes the Boy in his arms, lays him upon the bench, and
-leans down to him.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, save him! Save him! Oh, I can&#8217;t lose my boy! What
-can you do?</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Diphtheria! Wait! (<i>Takes the case out of his pocket.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, not that, Doctor! No! No!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Brushes the Inspector aside.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Let me alone! It&#8217;s the only thing!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Doctor administers the serum to the Boy.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>Covers her face; drops to her knees in front of the
-Doctor, her back toward him.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Oh, I don&#8217;t care WHAT you do&mdash;if you&#8217;ll only save him!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Here! Look! (<i>The Inspector turns.</i>) Oh, it&#8217;s wonderful!
-See! Already!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, my son! My little son!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Relieved! (<i>Straightens up.</i>) But it was a close shave!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Doctor, will you forgive me?</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Come! Get him into his bed. (<i>Lifts the Boy in his arms and
-gives him to the Inspector.</i>)</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, I was wrong! I was wrong!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>No, you&#8217;re right. Vivisection IS cruel. But disease is cruel&mdash;and,
-oh, how cruel is death!</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, I&#8217;m ashamed! Here I was, spying on you, fighting&mdash;</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>I&#8217;m willing to be watched. But if you trust us doctors with
-the lives of your children, can&#8217;t you trust us with the lives of
-cats and dogs?</p>
-
-<p class="center">INSPECTOR</p>
-
-<p>Oh, yes! Yes! (<i>Starts to go; turns.</i>) Oh, how can I ever thank
-you! You&#8217;ve saved my boy!</p>
-
-<p class="center">DOCTOR</p>
-
-<p>Don&#8217;t thank me. Thank your brother, the horse!</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>(<i>The Inspector goes out, murmuring to the Boy.</i>)</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Well, old fellow! (<i>The Doctor pats the horse, and gives him sugar.</i>)
-You saved him. And I WISH you could know it! (<i>Stoops to
-stroke the cat.</i>) Ah! Here&#8217;s a dead fly! (<i>Picks up a fly from
-the floor.</i>)</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_title.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph1">NOVELS BY ELEANOR GATES</p>
-</div>
-
-
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">The Poor Little Rich Girl.</span> 50 cents, net.</div>
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-net.</div>
-</div></div>
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-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p class="ph1">PLAYS BY ELEANOR GATES</p>
-
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse"><i>In preparation</i>:</div>
-
-
-
-<div class="indent"><span class="smcap">The Waiting Soul</span> (one act). A drama of
-the &#8220;twilight sleep.&#8221;</div>
-
-<div class="indent"><span class="smcap">We Are Seven</span> (three acts), stage version.</div>
-
-<div class="indent"><span class="smcap">The Poor Little Rich Girl</span> (three acts),
-stage version.</div>
-</div></div>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p class="center">
-Also in preparation, a novel<br />
-
-WATCH-MATES<br />
-
-A romance of the China Sea.<br />
-
-By <span class="smcap">Frederick Moore</span><br />
-Author of &#8220;<span class="smcap">The Devil&#8217;s Admiral</span>,&#8221; etc.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p class="center">THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY<br />
-<span class="smcap">116 West Fifty-ninth Street<br />
-New York</span></p>
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