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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e902cba --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65758 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65758) diff --git a/old/65758-0.txt b/old/65758-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 113d4ea..0000000 --- a/old/65758-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5535 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Jill, Vol II (of 2), by E. A. Dillwyn - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Jill, Vol II (of 2) - -Author: E. A. Dillwyn - -Release Date: July 4, 2021 [eBook #65758] - -Language: English - -Produced by: anonymous Project Gutenberg volunteers - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JILL, VOL II (OF 2) *** - - - - - - JILL - - - BY - - E. A. DILLWYN - - - IN TWO VOLUMES.--VOL. II. - - - London - MACMILLAN AND CO. - 1884 - - - - - _Printed by_ R. & R. CLARK, _Edinburgh._ - - - - - CONTENTS. - - - CHAPTER I. - PAGE -A CHAPELLE MORTUAIRE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 - - CHAPTER II. - -A NEW USE FOR A BIER. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 - - CHAPTER III. - -OFF FROM CORSICA. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 - - CHAPTER IV. - -CAPTAIN NORROY APPEARS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 - - CHAPTER V. - -A NEWSPAPER PARAGRAPH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70 - - CHAPTER VI. - -NOTICE TO QUIT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 - - CHAPTER VII. - -A DOGGY PLACE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 - - CHAPTER VIII. - -A DISCOVERY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 - - CHAPTER IX. - -THE LAST OF PERKINS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 - - CHAPTER X. - -AN ACCIDENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152 - - CHAPTER XI. - -IN HOSPITAL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168 - - CHAPTER XII. - -SISTER HELENA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189 - - CHAPTER XIII. - -A CATASTROPHE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206 - - CHAPTER XIV. - -A CHANGE OF FORTUNE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222 - - - - - CHAPTER I. - - A CHAPELLE MORTUAIRE. - - -Immediate preparations were made for our departure from the spot -where we were. A couple of coarse handkerchiefs were tied across the -lower part of our faces, so as to stifle our voices if we should -uplift them on the remote chance of any one being in hearing who -would assist us. Next our feet were untied to enable us to walk. We -were warned that if we attempted to escape or to call out, we should -be instantly stabbed. And in order to convince us that this was no -empty threat, a wicked-looking, dagger-like article, known in Corsica -as a vendetta-knife, was dashed before our eyes, and we were shown -that each of our captors had one of these knives stowed away in a -little inside coat-pocket, where it was ready to hand at a moment's -notice. - -Then we moved off in single file. Napoleon went in front, with Kitty -close at his heels; I came third, and César brought up the rear. - -The robbers naturally selected to travel through the _maquis_ rather -than along the open road; and we two captives, whose hands were -bound, sorely missed the assistance of those members to push aside -the numerous boughs and twigs by which our progress was impeded. Now -and then the man in front stopped to hold back obstacles in some very -thick place, where we should otherwise have probably altogether stuck -fast; but such an attention was exceptional, and, as a rule, we were -left to make our way unaided as best we could, regardless of the -scratches and bruises which we continually received, and whereby the -discomfort and fatigue of the journey was greatly increased. Napoleon -led us first down to the mouth of the valley; then branched off in a -direction away from that which the carriage and Mrs. Rollin would -take; then climbed a steep hill, and proceeded along the ridge of it -for some distance; then descended abruptly into another valley, and -we were kept trudging over hill and dale alternately in this way -during the whole afternoon. Many of the places we passed were such as -might have roused a lover of fine scenery to enthusiasm; but neither -Kitty nor I were in a humour to appreciate that sort of thing just -then, and the beauties of the landscape were quite wasted upon us, as -we toiled wearily along obscure and seldom-used tracks, through -desolate wild districts, without ever once approaching a human -dwelling. - -My having made the men believe that neither of us understood Italian -caused them to converse together in that language as unreservedly as -if they had been alone, and, thanks to this, I was able to discover -what were their intentions for disposing of us for the present. I -learnt that we were being taken to a cave up in the hills, which had -been their headquarters since their escape from prison. Here we were -to be left under care of one of the robbers, whilst the other -descended to the lower lands to seek out Mrs. Rollin, and open -negotiations with her on the important subject of the ransom. - -This cave of theirs, wherever it might be, was evidently an -unpleasantly long way off from the scene of our capture. On and on we -went without ever pausing for a moment; and I grew so tired that I -could hardly drag myself along, and began to speculate on the chances -of having to be carried before the appointed resting-place would be -reached. A slackening of speed or a halt would have been a most -welcome relief to me; but of that there was no hope, as our progress -was already too slow to satisfy the robbers, who kept constantly -urging us to hurry on faster, lest we should all be benighted on the -way. As daylight diminished, so did their impatience increase, and -many were the angry oaths they uttered at the distance still to be -traversed before attaining the cave. - -Suddenly Napoleon stood still, and looked back at his comrade -joyfully. "César," cried he, "I have a good idea! At the rate we go -now, we shall not get home till midnight; whereas if you and I were -alone, and not hampered by these women, we should arrive in half the -time. Is not that so?" - -"Obviously," grumbled César; "but what's the use of stopping to tell -me what I know already?" - -"Why this," returned the other; "that I propose we should disembarrass -ourselves of them at once." - -"Stupid!" rejoined César, irritably; "don't you see that the only -way of doing that is to kill them, or else to let them go; and that -in either of those cases we should be throwing away all chance of -deriving further gain from them?" - -"Ah, but I have thought of another method of getting rid of them," -answered Napoleon--"a method which will enable us to keep them alive, -and in our power too. I did a good deal of business in this part of -the country formerly, and learnt to know it well; thus I came to know -of a place near here, which I have only just recollected, and which -will be most convenient to us at this moment. It is not exactly such -a place as I would myself care to stay at, but it will do admirably -for shutting up these two women in, and when we have disposed of them -there, you and I can travel home as fast as we please. A famous safe -prison it is, where there will be no need for one of us to stay and -keep guard over them, as there would be if they were housed in the -cave. Thus we shall be free to go together and see about the business -with the ransom--which will, of course, be a great advantage, since -two heads are better than one, you know." - -César seemed still incredulous. "I believe you are talking nonsense," -said he; "I cannot think of any possible prison about here to answer -to your description." - -"Nonsense, indeed!" retorted his companion; "no, in truth! A short -distance from here, on the side of a hill, far from any inhabited -house or public road, I remember that there is an old mortuary -chapel. Years ago the family to whom it belonged left their -country-house and went to live in Ajaccio, and since then it has -never been used. This is the place in which I propose to imprison our -captives. There will be no chance of their being heard, however much -noise they may make; for the walls are thick, and there is nothing to -bring any one into the vicinity. And as they will certainly not be -able to get out unaided, we shall have no need to trouble ourselves -more about them, except to supply them with food." - -"A deserted mortuary chapel!" said César, reflectively; "'tis a good -idea, no doubt. Only--it is getting late; and--well, to say the -truth, I am not at any time over-fond of the company of the dead, and -like it least of all by night. Still--it would be very convenient to -do what you propose--the light is not gone yet--the chapel is close -by, you say. Yes! there will be time to shut up the women, and remove -ourselves to a pleasanter neighbourhood before dark. Go on, then, and -let us get the job over as soon as possible." - -Our course was resumed accordingly. The thought of the grim kind -of hotel that Napoleon had found for us reminded me forcibly of -Schubert's song _Das Wirthshaus_, and I seemed to hear its wild -plaintive melody sounding in my ears as we hurried over the broken -ground through the fast-increasing dusk. Horrible as was the idea of -being immured alive in a tomb, yet I shrank from it less then than I -should have done ordinarily. And for these two reasons: First, -because the long march had reduced me to such a state of exhaustion -that the prospect of rest was welcome anywhere--even in a _chapelle -mortuaire_. Secondly, because it seemed safer and in every way -preferable to be with the dead than with the two ruffians who had us -in their power, and whom I regarded with the most profound distrust. - -The chapel being near at hand, we reached it while there was still -sufficient light to show something of the exterior of our prison. - -We came first to a high wall, with no other opening in it than an -iron gate, which was wide enough to admit a carriage. The bolt by -which the gate was fastened was forced back without difficulty, and -then a short straight bit of road brought us to the door of the -chapel itself. This door was situated exactly opposite to the gate in -the outer wall, and was secured by a great iron bar across the -outside, and also by a chain and rusty padlock. With the help of a -stone the men easily broke open the padlock, and then they lifted -the ponderous external bar off its supports. There was now no -further obstacle to opening the door before which we stood, but -our captors--being not insensible to superstitious fears--did not -wish to keep the entrance to the charnel-house open longer than was -absolutely necessary, and therefore postponed unclosing it till the -last moment. - -They set our hands at liberty, and delivered to us such provisions as -they had with them--consisting of a morsel of sausage, a slice of -rye-bread, a good-sized piece of extremely strong-smelling cheese, -a couple of onions and apples, and a gourd half-full of wine. -Having thus provided us against famine, César made us a profound -bow of mocking deference, and said in French: "Adieu for the -present, ladies. You see our desire to treat you with distinguished -consideration induces us to place you here, with a good roof and -strong walls to shelter you, rather than to take you to the rough -cave which serves _us_ for a habitation. We do not intend remaining -to share this splendid dwelling with you, lest we should intrude on -your privacy; therefore we shall now, however unwillingly, tear -ourselves away, but first thing to-morrow morning we will return with -a supply of food, before departing to seek out and communicate with -the other lady." Then, addressing himself to his comrade, he said: -"Look sharp, Napoleon; open a bit of the door, and in with them!" - -The door, which only opened outwards, was pulled just far enough -apart to admit a human body. The men, without adventuring their own -persons an inch within the building, thrust Kitty and me roughly in, -and at once closed the entrance behind us again. Then came a -scraping, grating noise, which told that the great iron bar was -being replaced on its supports outside, and immediately afterwards we -heard the steps of César and Napoleon hurrying away at full speed -from the uncanny neighbourhood of the tomb to which they had -consigned us. - -At first we stood without moving from the spot to which we had been -pushed, just inside the door, waiting to see if we should be able to -distinguish anything when our eyes had become accustomed to the -darkness; for the interior of the building was perfectly dark. -Meanwhile we profited by the liberty that had been restored to our -hands to remove the handkerchiefs across our mouths, which had -hitherto prevented us from speaking. - -Kitty's knowledge of Italian being limited, she had not comprehended -what the men had been saying to one another; consequently she did not -now know the nature of our abode, as I discovered from the first -words she uttered when her mouth was free of its gag: - -"I wonder what sort of place this is," she said; "don't you? It's a -bore to have no light; however, I'm going on a bit further, to -explore without it, as we can't possibly have it." - -I laid my hand upon her arm, and checked her as she was about to -advance. - -"You had better be careful how you move," I said; "we are shut up in -a _chapelle mortuaire_." - -"A _chapelle mortuaire_" she echoed, interrogatively; "let me -see--what is that? Oh I remember! Wasn't that the name of those -buildings which you told me you had seen near Ajaccio, and which you -called 'villa residences for the dead?'" - -"Yes," I replied, doing my best to speak unconcernedly and carelessly, -and to conceal from her the feeling of disgust and aversion with -which the place inspired me, and which was growing stronger every -moment; "rather an appropriate place for me too, I think, seeing that -I'm nearly dead with fatigue. I haven't the least wish to move about, -and intend to sit down just where I am now. The door will make a -capital back to lean against." - -I was not sure but what the knowledge of where she was might -perhaps prove a shock to Kitty's nerves. But there was no trace of -discomposure to be detected in her voice or manner as she answered -me. "So it will," she said, "and I vote that we have dinner at once. -Those wretches never offered us any five o'clock tea; and what with -that and the long walk, I'm quite ravenous! You've no idea what a -relief to my mind it was to find that they didn't intend to leave us -all night without food." - -Of course we both wanted to seem as happy and as much at our ease as -possible, in order thus to help to keep up each other's spirits. I, -however, was not very successful in the effort; for though I was -perfectly free from any dread of the supernatural, yet there were -material horrors attached to the position which I could not forget. I -thought of the sights that would be revealed if there were light; of -the grinning skulls, mouldering bodies, crumbling coffins, and -ghastly relics of mortality, which might be expected in a tomb; and I -remembered that these things must be so close to me that I might -perhaps at any moment strike my hand against them. There was a -gruesomeness and eeriness about the place, to which my state of -bodily exhaustion rendered me unwontedly susceptible, and I felt more -nervous and creepy than I had ever done in my life before. - -"I don't think that I _can_ eat in this terrible place," I said, with -an involuntary shiver, in response to Kitty's suggestion of dinner. - -Whether or not she was at all inclined to be affected by our dismal -surroundings, as I was, I do not know; at all events she did not show -it, and redoubled her efforts to raise my spirits when she perceived -how much disposed I was to break down. - -"Oh yes--you'll not think of where you are in a few minutes more, -when you've got used to it," she returned, seating herself beside me, -and proceeding to distribute the food. "What a funny idea to have a -picnic in the dark--quite novel, too; I daresay no one ever did it -before. Where is the bread? Oh you've got it. As for the cheese, -there's no need to ask where _that_ is, because one's nose may safely -be trusted to supply the requisite information. I must say a knife -would be rather handy; but I'm afraid we must do the best we can -without, for I left my pocket-knife where I was sketching, and -Messieurs César and Napoleon have omitted to provide for our wants in -that respect. How lucky that my aunt is not with us, and obliged to -dine in this primitive fashion, without any proper appurtenances! If -she were, I verily believe she'd be unhappy lest any acquaintance -should behold her in the act of committing such an enormity--even -though the fact of the spectator would involve light to see by, and a -chance of assistance; both of which _I_ should consider to be most -desirable things at this moment." - -Thus she ran on, joking, laughing, making light of every discomfort, -and chatting to me as if she had thought me her equal, as if the tomb -had been a leveller of ranks to the living as well as to the dead, -and as if in entering it all social differences between her and me -had been annihilated. She could have devised nothing better adapted -to accomplish her object, and help me to shake off the gloomy -influences that oppressed me. Her example of bright good humour and -courage was irresistible, and before our unilluminated repast had -progressed far I became myself again, and eager to show a spirit as -brave as her own. To this desirable result, too, the creature -comforts of which I partook tended not a little to contribute. -Though the victuals were hardly to be called choice, and the wine had -acquired a nasty flavour from the gourd in which it was contained, -nevertheless they revived me as well as the most sumptuous cates -could have done; and when dinner was at an end I was a different -creature from what I had been before. Kitty made no comment on the -change in me, but I have little doubt that she perceived it, all the -same, as she now, for the first time, turned the conversation -seriously to the predicament in which we found ourselves. - -"It seems to me, Jill," she said, "that you and I are having -to do penance, with a vengeance, for our disbelief in escaped -_penitenciers_! We must give our minds now to what we are to do next; -but before entering on that subject I want to tell you how _very_ -sorry I am to have been the means of bringing you into this scrape. -I can't help feeling that it is all my doing, and that if I had not -gone on to sketch, or had not taken you with me, you, at all events, -would be in safety at this moment." - -Proud as she might be, pride had not yet taken enough hold of her to -crush the naturally generous disposition which was more distressed at -being the cause of another person's sufferings than at having to -suffer itself. I was touched at the thoughtfulness on my account -evinced by her last speech; and as I did not wish her to blame -herself unfairly, I assured her that I had accompanied her quite as -much for my own pleasure as hers. And in order to prove that we -should not in any case have got off scot-free, I repeated to her the -conversation I had overheard before we were captured, from which it -appeared that the carriage would have been attacked if she and I had -not separated from it and walked on alone. - -"Thank you," she said, when I had completed my tale. "I can't tell -you what a comfort it is to me to know all that, and to think that I -am not the sole cause of this bother! And now to consider our next -proceedings. The two things chiefly borne in upon my mind at this -moment are--first, that it's no use blinking the fact of our being in -an extremely awkward position; and second, that it won't do to be -afraid, because fear, as Solomon says, 'is nothing else but a -betraying of the succours which reason offereth.'" - -This was no doubt true. But, unluckily, no amount of calmness and -courage would show us any reasonable prospect of escape--look at the -situation in what way we would. - -It was no use to hope that our friends would rescue us, since it was -manifestly impossible for them to have an idea where we were. When -Mrs. Rollin continued her journey from the place where we had left -her, she would, we knew, have reckoned on my remaining on the road, -whether Kitty did or not. Consequently she would have gone on driving -contentedly towards St. Lucie di Tallano without the least fear of -leaving us behind; and there was no saying how long it might have -been before either she or the driver became uneasy at not overtaking -us. Then, when they _did_ take alarm--as they must have done, sooner -or later--there was nothing to make them suspect what had really -happened. They would probably suppose we had simultaneously expired, -tumbled over cliffs, sprained our ankles, or fallen victims to some -other likely or unlikely catastrophe; and then they would have begun -hunting about vaguely for us, without the slightest clue to where we -were. Thus it was in vain to trust to external aid reaching us, and -the question was, Could we anyhow manage to escape by our own -unassisted exertions? Alas! the prospect was no better in that -direction either. The door through which we had entered was the only -outlet apparent, and that was, as we knew, fastened on the outside -by a great heavy bar, which rendered exit in that way impossible. -Shouting was of no avail, because the place was so solitary that we -might have screamed till we were hoarse without a chance of producing -any other effect. - -Altogether, therefore, we saw no possible means of getting away from -our prison, and came reluctantly to the conclusion that we had no -alternative but to resign ourselves to stay where we were, and await -the course of events patiently. This was by no means a satisfactory -termination of our deliberations, and, having arrived at it, we sat -in melancholy silence for a minute. The silence was broken by Kitty -who said cheerily: "I'm sure we shall both be the better for some -rest, so let us lie down and go to sleep." - -"Lie down!" repeated I; "surely that won't be safe, will it? It's too -dark to see, and there might be--well--things that one wouldn't care -to touch, knocking about in a place of this kind, you know. I should -think we'd best try and go to sleep without changing our present -position." - -"No; we shouldn't rest nearly as well sitting upright, as we should -lying down," answered Kitty; "and it won't do for us to play tricks -with our strength in any way, or to risk losing an atom of it that is -to be had. Very likely there may be nothing disagreeable up the -middle of the floor, or, at all events, nothing that we cannot easily -clear away. Let us stoop down and feel our way straight before us -till we have a space to lie down in." - -There seemed a tacit agreement between us that the ghastly objects -by which we knew we must surely be surrounded were not to be defined -in words, but to be kept strictly to ourselves, lest the imagination -of one should supply some additional detail which had not occurred -to that of the other, by which means the horrors of the situation -might have been considerably increased. I am sure this was a wise -precaution. As it was, I know I found my imagination vivid enough to -picture a good deal more than was at all agreeable to think of; and -it would, no doubt, have been still more troublesome if supplemented -by that of Kitty also. - -I did not by any means relish her proposal that we should clear -sufficient space to lie down on; for I could not help shuddering at -the thought of the things one might expect to come in contact with -when groping about without light in a _chapelle mortuaire_. Still, I -was not going to have her despise me as a fool or a coward, so I made -no objection, and set to work heroically to perform my share of the -unpleasant task. - -The only suspicious thing which I met with in the course of my -explorations was some small-sized object, whose substance was cold -and clammy, and whose identity I could not at all determine by touch. -An exclamation of disgust rose to my lips when my fingers came -against this unknown horror; but I managed to restrain any outward -manifestation of emotion, and merely pushed the obstruction aside -quietly, without letting Kitty know that I had found anything -unpleasant. - -As I made this effort to spare her feelings, I was struck by the -quaint probability of her being at the same instant engaged in a -similar endeavour to spare mine, and I realised that the common -danger to which we were exposed was a link which united us so firmly -that our separate identities were, for the time being, well-nigh -merged into one. Whatever affected the condition of one of us must -necessarily affect that of the other also; whence it followed that -the bodily and mental welfare of both was a matter of mutually vital -consequence, and that each was as anxious to shield the other as -herself from any annoyance or shock that could possibly be avoided. -Truly a queer sort of selfish unselfishness! - -It did not take us long to make sure that we had room to lie down -without fear of coming against any repulsive relics of mortality; -then we extended ourselves upon the ground, pressing closely together -for warmth, as the night was cold. Hard and rough as was the couch, -and perilous as was our situation, we were too tired to be kept -waking by either discomfort or anxiety, and were speedily asleep. - - - - - CHAPTER II. - - A NEW USE FOR A BIER. - - -As I had no means of knowing the time, I cannot say exactly how long -my slumbers lasted, but, as near as I can guess, it must have been -about a couple of hours before I awoke. On opening my eyes I saw, -with much surprise, that the moon had found its way into the tomb, as -there was a patch of yellow light shining upon the opposite wall, and -relieving the profound obscurity that reigned elsewhere. This was a -most cheering and hope-inspiring spectacle; for, as the door was -still closed as before, the moonlight certainly could not be entering -in that way; and the obvious deduction was, that the chapel walls -must have some second opening which we had not yet discovered. -Whatever it was, might we not escape through it? - -I aroused the still sleeping Kitty to point out to her the pleasant -sight, and we got upon our feet to examine into the matter more -nearly. The light was evidently admitted through some aperture -situated in the gable of the roof just above the doorway, and the -shadows by which the patch of light was traversed proved that the -aperture was defended by bars. What the object of the opening may -have been I know not,--perhaps ornament, perhaps ventilation, perhaps -some whim of the architect's. Anyhow, there it was; and though -darkness had prevented our seeing it on our first arrival at the -chapel, yet now the friendly moon had come to our assistance, and was -indicating it as a possible means of regaining liberty. Never in my -life had I felt such a sincere admiration for the moon, and such a -conviction of its utility to the world, as I did then. - -We were at that time standing where we had lain down, close to the -door, and the aperture was too immediately over our heads for us to -see it very well, so we advanced cautiously a few steps farther -towards the middle of the floor, in order to obtain a better view. On -looking up from this new point of observation, we saw that though the -hole was small, it nevertheless appeared to be large enough for an -ordinary sized person to be able to squeeze through, provided the -bars were out of the way. This was encouraging. But it remained to be -proved, first, whether we could get up so high without having any -ladder or other means of raising ourselves; and secondly, whether, -if we surmounted that difficulty, we should be able to remove the -obstructing bars without having tools to assist us. - -It was very certain that the window was too high up for us to get at -it from the ground, since it was above the door, and I, who was -taller than Kitty, could only just touch the top of the door with my -finger-tips when I stretched out my arm to its fullest extent. How -on earth, then, were we to elevate ourselves to the height of the -window? The first suggestion was, that if one of us was lifted up, -perhaps she might be able to reach the desired niche, and we at once -put the idea into execution. I, being the strongest and heaviest of -the two, was naturally appointed to be the lifter; so I took hold of -Kitty round the knees, and raised her up as far as I could. My utmost -efforts, however, failed to get her to the required height, and I had -to set her down again without having advanced an atom towards the -accomplishment of our purpose. - -"I'm sure I wasn't far short of touching the ledge of the window," -she said, whilst I stood panting after my exertions; "if only I could -get hold of that, and you were to help me by shoving, I expect I -could pull myself right up, and manage to hitch on somehow to examine -the bars. What we want is some kind of elevation for you to stand on -when you lift me. Do try and invent some hoisting contrivance or -other; it would be too provoking not to get up to the window now -we've found it." - -For a while we racked our brains vainly without discovering any -solution of the problem. At last an idea flashed across my mind. -No!--I would not mention such a thing--it was too horrible. Yet what -I had thought of was a method whereby we might perhaps supply such an -elevation as we wanted. And the unpleasantness of that method was no -sufficient reason for being silent about it, when the urgent peril in -which we were made it absurd to allow mere sentimental considerations -to stand in the way of any possible chance of escape. Therefore I -conquered my repugnance for the idea that had occurred to me, and -said: "There must be coffins in this place. Very likely they are all -more or less fallen to pieces, for Napoleon said that it had not been -used for a long time; but yet some of the wood may still be sound, -and perhaps if we grope about we may be able to collect enough boards -to make a stage that would serve our purpose." - -Kitty did not answer immediately. I daresay that she recoiled from -the idea at first, as I had done. But if so, no doubt second thoughts -showed her, as they had me, the imperative necessity of regarding -matters from an exclusively practical, stern, and unimaginative point -of view, and of absolutely ignoring any fanciful objections to -whatever promised to aid our flight. She replied, after a short -pause: - -"Well, it is not a very attractive plan, certainly; but as there -doesn't seem to be any other, I suppose we had better try it, and -endeavour to forget its unpleasantness by looking forward to the -delights of liberty if it succeeds. So now let's go to work. It's a -pity neither of us was ever inside a _chapelle mortuaire_ before, -isn't it? because then we should have some notion of how such places -are generally arranged, which would be a great assistance to us just -now in this pitchy darkness. As it is, however, I suppose we must -imagine what the plan of the interior is _likely_ to be like, and -then proceed according to that idea. If I were an undertaker I think -I should first deposit the coffins in a row along the wall, then pile -them up, two or three deep perhaps, and only take up the middle of -the floor when the sides were all occupied. Therefore I recommend our -exploring the sides first, as likely to afford the largest supply of -wood. Do you go to the right, whilst I take the left--unless you have -anything better to suggest?" - -I had not; so we separated, and went off to the right and left -respectively, as she wished. But I had hardly got a yard away from -the door when she exclaimed, "Come here, Jill; I want you!" - -"Yes; what is it?" inquired I, as I crossed over to her. - -"I've found something that seems to me promising," she replied -eagerly. "I struck my hand against it directly I had got beyond the -doorway. What it is I don't know; but it's pretty big anyhow, and -it's not part of a coffin, and it's made of wood. I want you to help -me feel it over, and see if we can make it out." - -We began carefully investigating the unknown object with our fingers, -and endeavouring to recognise by touch its shape and construction. -For a while it puzzled us; then suddenly Kitty had an idea and said: - -"Do you think it's a bier? I never handled one before, but I daresay -it would feel something like this does. And it's not unlikely that it -might have been left here and forgotten after the last funeral, is -it?" - -"No; that's it, depend upon it!" cried I; "and it's a grand -discovery, for a bier will help to raise us capitally, if only it's -not got rotten, lying here so long." - -To ascertain its condition was our first anxiety. Accordingly we took -hold of the handles, lifted it off the ground, and gave it a smart -shake, though not without considerable misgivings lest it should come -to pieces in our hands. Fortunately it stood the test tolerably well, -and did not break down. At the same time, however, it quivered and -cracked in a way that did not give the impression of its being in -very first-rate order; and we decided that it would be imprudent to -expose it to the trial of bearing both of us simultaneously. If it -would support one at a time, we would make no further demands upon -its powers of endurance; and consequently we must utilise it in some -other way than by my standing on it and lifting Kitty up to the -window, as was our first idea. - -Instead of that we raised it lengthwise, and placed it so that the -handles at one end rested on the ground, whilst those at the other -were against the door. When thus erected the upper part of the body -of the bier was, of course, a good deal elevated, and made a foothold -whence the window could easily be attained. To mount to this foothold -was now our intention; and Kitty, being the lightest, was selected to -ascend first. The only question was, How was she to get her foot to -the top of the bier, which was too high up for any legs of ordinary -length to step up to from the ground. But this obstacle was quickly -smoothed away by my stooping down and converting myself into a -stepping-stone. Mounted on me, and steadying herself against the -door, she put one foot cautiously on the edge of the bier, and began -to press upon it. The heavier she leant on it, the more ominously did -it crack and tremble; still it did not give way, even when she at -last stood upon it altogether, and it had to bear the whole of her -weight. Hurrah! now we should know what the window looked like at -close quarters; and whether the bars were wooden or iron, loose or -tight, removable or not. - -Kitty's report was satisfactory. She said that the window had a ledge -on the inside which was broad and deep enough for a person to sit on -by crouching a good deal, and that the bars were only wooden. - -"Are they breakable?" I asked anxiously. - -"Don't know yet," she returned; "I shall be able to tell better if I -get right up on the ledge. They don't _feel_ very solid; but I'm -afraid of trying them from here. You see I'm not very confident of -the stability of my present foothold, and don't care to indulge in -violent exertions till I get to a safer situation. Wrestling with the -bars where I am now _might_ lead to an upset. If you'll help me by -pushing below, I will draw myself up on to the ledge." - -By dint of our united efforts, the further ascent was accomplished -successfully. The ledge did not afford a very comfortable resting-place, -as she had to sit bent nearly double, with her feet hanging down -against the wall. But the position, though cramped and inconvenient, -was secure, and was a firm point of vantage from which to attack the -bars. She took hold of one, and shook it. Being completely rotted -through, it came in two in her hand at once. The next offered a more -obstinate resistance; in this also, however, as well as in the -others, decay had begun, and had gone too far for the wood to -withstand her vigorous jerks, pushes, pulls, shakes, and blows. -Therefore it was not very long before she announced triumphantly that -there was now nothing to hinder our egress through the window, which -was, as we had thought, big enough for us to pass through. - -"There's one thing I don't quite see, though," she said, after poking -out her head and reconnoitring the exterior; "that is, how we're to -get down on the other side. It looks to me rather far for a drop. I -should say it would be a toss up whether we did it safely, or whether -we broke our legs. Of course we must risk it if there's nothing else -to be done; but if there _is_ any other way of descending--why, I -think it would be better." - -"Is there room for us both to be on the ledge at the same time?" I -inquired, after a moment's reflection; "because if I were up there by -you, I might break the fall considerably by reaching down and holding -you up when you drop. And then when you are down, you may be able to -find some way of breaking the fall for me. Even if not, it would not -matter so much for me. I think I could drop the distance without -hurting myself; for when I was a child I used to do a deal of jumping -and climbing, and was always good at falling light." - -"Well--we might try that, at all events," she answered, "if the -ledge is large enough to hold us both at the same time. I'm doubtful -whether it is--but we can soon see. Wait a moment and I'll make more -room by turning round, and sitting with my feet out instead of in. -There--now they're out of the way. Come and stand on the top of the -bier, and see if you can stow yourself away up here by my side." - -It now for the first time struck us that it was by no means sure -whether I should be able to get to the top of the bier without having -any one to assist me from below as I had assisted Kitty. Yet if I -failed to reach that point, I must give up the idea of reaching the -window; and as that was equivalent to resigning my hopes of liberty, -it was evidently of the utmost importance that I should accomplish -the ascent. - -Kitty was the first to suggest a way out of the difficulty. - -"Can you alter the position of the bier," said she, "so as to make it -slant, instead of standing almost upright as it does now? Because -then you might manage to creep up it." - -"I've no doubt I can, only I hadn't thought of it," replied I, -proceeding to drag the two lower handles away from the door, till the -steepness of the incline was much less than before. Then I grasped -the upper edge of the bier, and tried, partly by pulling and partly -by crawling, to bring my feet up to where my hands were. Alas! the -woodwork that was firm enough to support Kitty, standing upon it -quietly, had not strength to bear a person of my greater weight, -scrambling up it as I was doing. Collapsing altogether, it brought me -violently to the ground with a crash which alarmed Kitty, who, on -her perch overhead, half in and half out, could not see what was -happening in the darkness beneath. - -"Oh, Jill!" she exclaimed, "what is it? Are you hurt?" - -"No," I answered, feeling ready to cry with vexation, as I rose, and -cleared away the _débris_ of broken wood with which I was covered. "I -wasn't far enough off the ground for that. But the old bier has -smashed all to pieces; and however I'm to get up to the window now, -I'm _sure_ I don't know!" - -"Are you certain," she returned, "that there isn't any sound corner -still holding together, which would do for you to stick up, and stand -on? It's worth while for you to feel about on chance of such a thing, -at all events." - -This was true; and I explored carefully amongst the splintered -fragments in hopes of discovering some solid bit. But my efforts were -in vain. - -"It's no use," said I, ruefully; "the thing is gone to pieces -completely." - -Neither of us spoke for a while after this. First I exhausted my -ingenuity in vain endeavours to discover some means of raising -myself to the window. Then, when I made up my mind that I was doomed -to remain a captive, I began to reflect enviously on the superior -good fortune of Kitty. The only thing between her and freedom was the -trivial difficulty of getting down safely on the other side. Once -that was overcome, she would be off, and leave me by myself in this -abominable place. I did not at all like the idea of her going. For -one thing, I preferred having a companion in misfortune to being -solitary. And for another thing, her absence would greatly aggravate -my danger, as the _penitenciers_ would be sure to be rendered furious -by her having given them the slip, and would vent their wrath upon -me. Of course, if she were to fall in with efficient succour, and -return before they did, it would be a different matter. But then the -chance of that seemed too remote to be worth reckoning on; and I -thought it was decidedly more to my interest that she should stay -with me than that she should regain her liberty alone. - -Why did she sit up there silently without saying anything about her -departure? I wondered. Ah! probably she hadn't yet discovered a -satisfactory method of managing the descent outside, which she seemed -to think difficult. _I_ could tell her how it was to be done, if I -chose--but then I wasn't going to chose anything of the kind. If her -own wits couldn't show her how to profit by her advantages, then let -her stay where she was, and keep me company! - -These were the thoughts that first crossed my mind, when I recognised -the melancholy fact that I had no chance of escape. Yet, somehow or -other, I did not eventually hold my tongue, as I had intended to do, -about the means by which her descent might be accomplished. What -induced me to change my mind about it I don't exactly know. Perhaps -the fancy that I had for her may have been stronger than I realised, -and have made it impossible for me to refrain from doing whatever I -could to get her out of the power of two such ruffians as César and -Napoleon. Or perhaps I may have been influenced by the obvious -unreasonableness of allowing two people to be exposed to a danger -from which one of them might escape. Anyhow, the upshot of it was -that I said--though not without an effort: - -"I've thought of a way for you to get down from the window without -damaging yourself. We'll tie our dresses, jackets--petticoats too, if -need be--into a rope which must be long enough to go through the -window and dangle down outside, whilst I keep hold of one end in -here. The outside end must have a loop for you to put your feet in; -and with the help of that, I'm pretty sure we can make the drop safe. -Then, if you should be lucky about falling in with respectable people -soon, perhaps you may be able to come back and get me away before the -_penitenciers_ reappear in the morning." - -As I believed her to be only staying there because she did not know -how to get away, I took it for granted that she would be delighted at -my suggestion, and be in a desperate hurry to avail herself of it. -Instead of that, however, she only said coolly: - -"Thank you, Jill; but I think it's perfectly impossible that I should -find help and return in time to rescue you, so I don't at all -contemplate going off alone, and leaving you to face the indignation -of César and Napoleon at my departure. Goodness knows what they -wouldn't do to you! No; I was the means of getting you into this -scrape, and I don't seem to see leaving you to shift for yourself -now. If there's no alternative between deserting you or taking up my -abode again inside the chapel--why, I prefer the latter. But it's too -soon to despair yet. Having got _one_ of us up here is something; and -it won't do to abandon that advantage until we're quite positive that -we can't turn it to account. There's your first plan of trying to get -enough wood to make a platform--why not take to that again?" - -"For two reasons," said I, with a thrill of indescribable happiness -and comfort at finding that she was too staunch and plucky for there -to be a chance of her deserting me. "In the first place there isn't -time, because I should only get on at half the pace by myself that we -should have done working together. And besides that, I think that the -rottenness of the bier and bars is a conclusive proof that there -isn't likely to be any sound wood discoverable here." - -"True," she returned. Immediately afterwards she added, exultingly, -"What idiots we are! As the men hadn't a key, they can't possibly -have locked us in, and there can't be any fastening except the bar -across the outside of the door. We never thought of that! As soon as -I get down and take away the bar, you can march out without trouble. -Off with your dress, and let's make that rope you talked of to let me -down with!" - -It seems extraordinary that neither of us had remembered this simple -solution of the difficulty sooner; yet so it was. Now that it had at -last occurred to us, however, we lost no time in going to work. Our -garments were instantly put into requisition, and twisted and knotted -into as good an imitation of a rope as we could construct out of such -materials. The end which had a loop to it was hung out of the window, -whilst I retained the other end in my hands, and Kitty, placing her -feet in the loop, began to lower herself gently. - -As long as she could keep hold of the window her weight was thrown -partly on her hands; thus I had not the whole of it to support until -during the last few seconds, when, taking her feet out of the loop, -letting go of the window, and clinging only to the rope, she -descended as near as she could to the ground. I held on to the rope -with might and main, till the tension relaxed with a sudden jerk that -threw me down, and informed me that she had regained _terra firma_. - -"Sprained ankle, broken bones, or anything of that kind?" I asked, -anxiously. - -"No, not hurt a bit," was the welcome response. "I'll get the door -open as quickly as I can; will you begin undoing the rope meanwhile?" - -"All right!" I returned, commencing to restore it to its normal -condition of clothes as fast as I could in the dark. As I worked I -listened hopefully to the scratching and fumbling that went on -outside, and expected every moment to hear the downfall of the bar. -But the minutes passed on, and still the looked-for sound did not -come. I could not understand what could be causing so much delay -about so simple a matter as removing a bar from across a door, and I -began to grow feverishly nervous lest any unforeseen obstacle should -even now intervene, and deprive me of the freedom I had begun to -anticipate confidently. My alarm was not unfounded, for, to my -dismay, she called out: - -"This bar is so dreadfully heavy that I can't raise it. I can only -move one end at a time, and lift it up a very small way above the -support it stands on; but not high enough for what I want." - -Then it was all over with me, and I was fated to stay there alone to -be cut to pieces, or murdered in any way that might seem good to -those two ruffians! And when I had thought, too, that I was so sure -of getting away! The bitterness of the disappointment seemed to choke -me for a minute, so that I could not speak. However, when I could -control my voice, I shouted to her: - -"There's no help for it! You can't get back inside again now, even if -you wish to. So you've no choice about going away. Goodbye!" - -"I'm not at an end of my resources yet," she replied. "I've thought -of something fresh. I'm going away for a few minutes, but I shall be -back directly." - -The sound of her steps gave me notice of her departure from and -return to the chapel. Then ensued much scraping, scratching, and -other noises, to which I listened with intense anxiety, longing to -know what she was about, yet fearing to ask, lest, if I interrupted -her with questions, I might perhaps hinder my deliverance. - -Her operations meanwhile, as I afterwards learnt, were as -follows:--First, she went to fetch a supply of stones of various -sizes. Returning with these, she put her shoulder underneath one end -of the bar, and exerting all her strength, raised it as high as she -could above the broad projecting piece of iron on which it rested. -Then, before removing her shoulder, she inserted between the iron -support and the bar enough stones to maintain the latter at the place -to which she had raised it. This performance many times repeated, at -last elevated that end so far above the other that the bar was all -slanting, and only needed one vigorous push to set it in motion, -sliding downwards across the iron projection on which the opposite -end was supported. Moving slowly at first, the massive bar went -faster and faster every instant as its own weight gave it additional -impetus, till it dashed on to the ground with a resounding clang that -seemed to me the sweetest music that ever gladdened the ears of -mortal man or woman. I immediately pushed against the door. It -yielded slowly, and next minute I was emancipated from that horrible -_chapelle mortuaire_, and standing beside Kitty, free in the open air -once more. - -To describe the rapture of that moment is beyond my powers. If any -one wants to know true bliss for once in their lives, I recommend -them to go through a similar experience. Only they must take into -account the possibility of _not_ escaping after all; which is -evidently a serious drawback, since a failure in that respect would -be quite fatal to the object of the experiment. - - - - - CHAPTER III. - - OFF FROM CORSICA. - - -We had no means of knowing how far advanced the night might be, but -we knew that our enemies intended to return early in the morning; we -saw that the moon was waning, and we naturally wished to get away -from the vicinity of the _chapelle mortuaire_ with all possible -expedition. Having been obliged to partially undress ourselves in -order to find materials for the rope, we began hastily resuming such -articles of attire as had been taken off; whilst thus engaged Kitty -said: - -"It seems to me rather a chance that we don't run straight into the -arms of those two villains when we leave this place. I don't the -least know which way to go; for, except that we're in Corsica, I have -uncommonly little notion of where we are. Have you?" - -"Well, only this much," I replied; "in coming here we travelled a -good deal more uphill than down, so I expect we must be in rather -high ground. And when our captors left us I heard them say they -were going to a cave in the mountains, so they will be coming here -from somewhere above. Therefore, I think, we must obviously guide -ourselves by the rule of going always downhill, if we want to reach a -safe district, and keep out of harm's way." - -"Yes; there's sense in that," answered she. "Downhill shall be our -rule, as you say. But first of all, here's this enclosing wall to be -got out of. We shall have to find some way of climbing over it, -unless we can open the gate." - -Luckily, however, the gate had only been swung to, and not fastened; -so we had no difficulty in passing through it. Outside there was a -roughly made road, much overgrown in consequence of long disuse, and -going in two opposite directions. - -"Come along," said Kitty; "roads almost always lead _somewhere_, -and it is to be hoped this one is no exception; then we shall find -ourselves at some inhabited locality or other at last. The way to the -right goes downwards, I think." - -Off we set to the right, therefore, at full speed, and ran ourselves -out of breath; then we walked till we had got enough fresh wind to -begin running again; then ran till we were blown again; and so on, -recommencing as before, and ever and anon listening anxiously for -any sounds of pursuit. For though it was not yet the time when the -robbers had announced they would return to us, yet our fears -suggested the possibility of their having changed their minds, and -gone back to the _chapelle_ sooner than they had intended. Presently -the moon set; and after that the unevenness of the track and the -darkness combined caused us to stumble, slip, and fall several times. -But we did not slacken pace on that account, and continued our -headlong flight, till at last we came to a road which was so much -broader and better than the one we had hitherto been following, that -we had little doubt of its being the route _nationale_. - -We had now a comfortable sensation of being once more within reach of -protection; and shortly afterwards we were yet further cheered by a -sound behind us of wheels, horses' feet, and jingling bells, which -announced that some vehicle was approaching. We hailed it as soon as -it came up to us; but found, to our disgust, that our shouts produced -no effect; for no one paid the slightest attention to them, and -the thing lumbered heavily past in the darkness, giving a general -impression of length and bulk which made us guess it to be a -diligence, though we could not see it clearly. Having no fancy to be -thus ignored and left behind, we gave chase, and quickly overtook the -slowly-moving conveyance as it crawled up a hill. Being one of the -mail diligences it had a letter-box hanging at the back, just above a -broad low step, which it was easy to mount and descend from whilst -the vehicle was in motion; thus any one with letters to post could -jump up, consign them to the box, and get down again without causing -any stoppage, so that the diligence was a sort of moving post-office. -This step was most convenient to us at this moment. There was room -enough for us both to sit upon it, and we very soon established -ourselves in this muddy but not uncomfortable situation, rejoicing -greatly at the welcome rest and security which it afforded. None of -the people inside the diligence attempted to dislodge us, or took any -notice of us, so I imagine either that our proceeding must have been -too ordinary a one to attract attention, or else that they were all -fast asleep. On the horses trotted again when the top of the hill was -reached; the mud-splashes bespattered us freely, and we had to hold -tight for fear of being shaken off by some severer jolt than usual; -but we maintained our position till the carriage, after travelling -some distance, came to a standstill, and some one began to get down. -Then, fearing lest gratuitous conveyance might be objected to, we got -off and stood aside to reconnoitre before showing ourselves. - -It appeared that the reason of the halt was our having reached an inn -at which some one in the diligence was going to alight. The house -door stood wide open, which indicated, I suppose, that accommodation -might be had within by any one who could manage to awake one of the -inhabitants; but otherwise there was no sign of readiness for guests; -the premises were totally unlighted; there was no guardian--human or -canine--to give notice of the arrival of either friend or foe, nor -was there any bell or other means of summons. - -The diligence having drawn up opposite to this primitive hotel, -one of the passengers got out with a bag in his hand, and the -_conducteur_ descended from his perch bearing a lantern. Then they -entered the house, and as they did so the lantern went out, and we -heard them go stumbling and groping their way in the dark upstairs to -the first floor. Here there was a fastened door, which prevented a -further advance, and a considerable amount of knocking, kicking, and -bawling ensued, till some inmate was at last aroused to come and see -what was wanted. Up to this moment the _conducteur_ had appeared to -consider himself as to some extent bound to look after the passenger -whom his vehicle had conveyed there; but the instant his ears had -assured him of the fact of there being a living person in the inn, he -evidently felt that _his_ duty in the matter was at an end, and all -responsibility for the traveller henceforth transferred to the -landlord. No sooner, therefore, were the first sounds audible of some -one stirring within than the _conducteur_ left his charge to take -care of himself and came clattering downstairs and out into the -road again, without troubling himself to wait for the inner door -to be opened, in order to find out whether the new-comer could be -accommodated, or whether, perhaps, the little hostelry might be -already full--in which case the visitor would have had no option -about passing the rest of the night in the street, unless he had -preferred going on again in the diligence. - -"Not much like English ideas of travelling and arriving at a hotel, -is it?" whispered Kitty to me, with much truth. - -As soon as the _conducteur_ returned to the road, we stepped up to -him, and Kitty asked if he would kindly tell us the name of this -place, and also what was the destination of the diligence, as we -were strangers who had got lost, and did not know where we were. He -looked at us with no little surprise, and answered that our present -situation was St. Marie Sicché, and that the diligence was on its way -to Ajaccio. - -This was a welcome piece of information. St. Marie Sicché was, it -will be remembered, the village where we had slept on the first night -of our driving-tour; consequently we were not in an altogether -strange district, and knew that we were within three or four hours of -Ajaccio, where the best part of our luggage was left, and where we -were more at home than in any other part of the island. There could -be no doubt that the best thing for us to do was to get there and -make ourselves comfortable at the hotel as soon as possible; and -then, when the telegraph offices should be open in the morning, we -would find out where Mrs. Rollin was, and relieve her mind as to our -safety. The only obstacle was that we had no money to pay for our -conveyance to Ajaccio; for the _penitenciers_ had carried off -everything valuable that we possessed; and, therefore, unless we -could get credit, we must evidently be involved in a good deal of -bother and delay before we should be able to leave our present -situation, or do anything that we wanted to do. - -In this difficulty Kitty appealed to the _conducteur_, telling him -that as we had been robbed, we were at that moment penniless; and -asking him whether he would take us in his diligence to Ajaccio, and -let us pay for our places after arriving there. She also told him the -name of the hotel where our baggage was left, and assured him that we -should have no difficulty in having our respectability guaranteed -there. The man hesitated, hummed and hawed, looked suspiciously at -us--muddy and untidy as we were--and did not seem much inclined to -believe her story. But after some trouble, she persuaded him to -consent to her request by promising to pay double the ordinary fare. - -Having thus settled the matter satisfactorily with him, we anticipated -no further difficulty, and were about to enter the interior of the -vehicle--both _coupé_ and _banquette_ being full--when we were -unexpectedly opposed by one of the passengers already established -there. The conversation had roused him from his slumbers; and -when Kitty attempted to get in, he started forward and protested -energetically against our admission. It was a shame to take up any -one else, he said, when he and his fellows were already "_pressés -comme des anchois_"; they had been crowded to the very verge of -possibility by the person who had just alighted; it was absurd to -think of cramming us two individuals into the space that that one had -occupied; he objected--he would complain to the authorities--it was -disgraceful to treat travellers in that way. Another diligence was -due in about ten or twelve hours, and we ought to wait, and take our -chance of finding places in that. - -The prospect of waiting at St. Marie Sicché for another ten or twelve -hours was by no means to our mind, and we were alarmed to see that -the _conducteur_ seemed inclined to listen to the irate passenger. -But Kitty showed herself equal to the emergency. Turning promptly -to the _conducteur_, she whispered to him that she hardly supposed -he was going to leave us for the benefit of any rival vehicle; and -that as it was important to her to get to Ajaccio at once, she -would give him treble the proper fare if he took us, instead of only -double, as previously agreed. He was evidently quite alive to the fact -that an extra high fare would give him the opportunity of pocketing a -nice little profit, by only paying the diligence company a single -fare and keeping the rest for himself; and her increased offer -put an end to his hesitation about introducing us into the already -full conveyance. Therefore he turned a deaf ear to the other man's -expostulations--thoroughly well-founded though they were--proceeded -to make room somehow or other, and finally stowed us away without -heeding the discontented sleepy grunts and growls of the victims whom -we had forced to compress themselves into an unnaturally small space. -Then he shut us all in, climbed back to his place, and the journey -was resumed. - -The interior of a hot, crowded, stuffy diligence, packed closely with -garlic-eating Corsicans clad in strong-smelling garments, would not -generally be deemed a very inviting haven of repose. Yet it seemed so -to us just then; for we were tired enough to find rest anywhere -delicious, and were too full of joy at having escaped from serious -danger to grumble at such trifling annoyances as mere discomfort and -unpleasant odours. - -A couple of hours' jolting brought us to Cauro, where the horses -were changed; thence we continued our course to Ajaccio, which was -reached soon after seven in the morning. Stiff and fatigued as we -were, we should have been glad of a _fiacre_ to take us from the -_diligence-bureau_ to the hotel; but no _fiacre_ was to be had at -that early hour, so we set off walking, accompanied (I need hardly -say) by an envoy sent by the _conducteur_ to find out whether -the account we had given of ourselves was a true one. - -As we were going up the street I saw a couple of smart-looking -sailors coming towards us. The sight of them suddenly reminded me -that there was a chance of Lord Clement's being still at Ajaccio, -which possibility I had till then forgotten. If he were within reach, -would Kitty turn willingly to him as a protector and counsellor, I -wondered? - -"Those two look like sailors from a yacht," said I; "if they should -happen to belong to _La Catalina_, I suppose you will send word by -them to Lord Clement that you have returned, won't you?" - -"No! what would be the good of that?" she answered sharply, and not -at all as if she was in any hurry to meet her noble admirer again. -But second thoughts made her change her mind, for she added: "Well, -yes; perhaps it would be as well to let him know we're back, if he -_does_ happen to be still here. Both you and I are dead tired; and he -could go and see to telegraphing, and all that's got to be done, -while we rest. Besides that, in spite of the principles of equality -of these republicans, I strongly suspect that a person who is rich, a -man, and an earl, stands a better chance of being attended to by the -authorities than a mere commonplace woman. So, on the whole, I -daresay he would be useful just now to act as agent for me." - -When we were close to the sailors we saw that they were part of the -crew of _La Catalina_, as her name was visible upon their hats -and jerseys. - -"Is Lord Clement on board _La Catalina_?" asked Kitty. - -The two tars stopped and stared in evident surprise at being accosted -in their own tongue in the streets of Ajaccio at that early hour in -the morning. - -"Ay, ay," answered one of them. - -"Just go back to the yacht at once then," returned Kitty, "and tell -him that Miss Mervyn has returned here, and has gone to the hotel -where she was staying before, and will be glad to see him there as -soon as possible." - -The men, who did not in the least recognise us, stared more than ever -at hearing themselves ordered about in this fashion by one of two -strange women presenting the extraordinary appearance which Kitty and -I did at that moment. For it must be remembered that we had been -splashed with mud from head to foot as we sat on the step of the -diligence; that our clothes were torn, rumpled, and put on anyhow; -that our hair was horribly disheveled; and that we were altogether -as untidy-looking objects as could well be imagined. - -Evidently the sailors did not know what to make of us, and were -undecided, for a moment, whether to do what they were told, or to be -impertinent. But Kitty bore the stamp of high birth and breeding -marked too plainly for it to be concealed by disreputable externals; -and she spoke with the calmly-commanding manner of a person who is -accustomed to be obeyed. The sailors were not insensible to this -influence, and could not help recognising her as a legitimate -authority, notwithstanding the peculiarity of her appearance. When, -therefore, she repeated what she had said before, and again told -them to be off at once, they looked at one another sheepishly, -touched their hats, and departed obediently in the direction of the -harbour. And that they executed their commission faithfully was -proved by the promptitude with which Lord Clement arrived at our -hotel and asked for Miss Mervyn. - -Poor young man! thought I, as I watched him going upstairs to her -room. I do not suppose you will be very pleased at what you are going -to hear; for your Mrs. Grundy-loving nature is sure to abhor -eccentric adventures; and I do not expect you will enjoy that your -lady-love should be known to have been the heroine of such an unusual -experience as Kitty has just gone through! Judging by the annoyed and -disturbed expression on his countenance when the interview with her -was over, and he left the hotel, I imagine that my anticipations were -not far wrong, and that his sense of propriety and of the fitness of -things was greatly shocked at what had occurred to the young lady -whom he desired to marry. His annoyance, however, did not prevent him -from taking all trouble off her shoulders as far as possible; and he -made himself useful by telegraphing to various places till he had -discovered Mrs. Rollin; then informing her that we were safe at -Ajaccio; and also giving notice to the police of the nefarious -proceedings of César and Napoleon. - -Our loss had thrown Mrs. Rollin into a state of anxiety, nervousness, -and discomposure, which none of the French novels she had with her -had sufficed to calm. She had gone on hourly exciting herself more -and more against Corsica and all its people, until she had worked -herself into an unreasoning aversion to it and them. Consequently, -when she rejoined us at Ajaccio, which she did on the evening of the -day that we had returned there, the one fixed idea in her mind was, -that she would never know a moment's ease or happiness as long as -she remained in the island, and that we must get away from it -immediately. - -On hearing our adventures she declared that what had happened was -fearful, ghastly, and shocking, but yet no more than was to be -expected in an out-of-the-way, uncivilised, poverty-stricken country -where nobody went, where the inhabitants lived without milk and -butter, and where every one was a savage or thief, or both. She very -deeply regretted having let herself be overpersuaded to come to this -Corsica; but, at all events, no power on earth should induce her to -stay in such a vile, odious, unsafe, abominable place any longer. -Besides, though the two _penitenciers_ would probably never be -captured, yet still, supposing by any accident that they _were_ -caught, and Kitty was within reach, then the girl would be wanted to -give evidence against them, and that was another reason for taking -flight at once. Else there would be the risk of Kitty's having to -appear in a police-court, take oaths, be cross-examined and badgered -by vulgar lawyers, and all that sort of thing, which was quite unfit -for a lady to undergo. And what depths the vulgarity of lawyers in a -republican country might reach, she, Mrs. Rollin, was afraid to -think! Of course she by no means expected that the robbers _would_ be -taken; but as there was a possibility of such a thing, it was her -duty to provide for it. - -When she stopped to take breath, Kitty inquired why she was so -certain that the culprits would not be recaptured, and that set her -off again. She had seen, she said, enough of Corsicans by this time -to convince her that they were all rogues alike, and all in collusion -with one another. In hopes of keeping us staying on and on, and -spending money amongst them, they might perhaps talk big, and declare -that the offenders would soon be under lock and key; but meanwhile -they would be let to escape quietly; or, if caught, good care would -be taken that they should not be convicted. But _she_ wasn't going to -be so silly as to be made a fool of by these Corsicans, and to play -into their hands by remaining there longer. No, thank you! She had -discovered that there would be a steamer to Marseilles on the -following day, and by that steamer she intended to go. And besides -everything else, there was yet another reason, she averred, why she -must now begin to make her way homewards. She found, from letters she -had just received, that matters of business made it necessary for -her to return to England sooner than she had expected. She must -positively have a week's shopping in Paris on the way back, and she -would not have time for this unless she started at once. Therefore it -was, in every respect, out of the question that we should prolong our -visit to this detestable island. - -Her mind was made up too firmly to be shaken, and on the next day we -quitted Ajaccio in _La Catalina_--Lord Clement having again placed -that vessel at my two ladies' disposal. I am afraid, however, that -this act of civility did not bring him the satisfaction that he -probably expected. For Kitty, instead of making herself agreeable -during the voyage, professed to be headachy, and remained alone in a -cabin; and as soon as Marseilles was reached, she and her aunt said -goodbye to him, and set off for Paris by the next _rapide_. Very -possibly he would have liked to accompany them there. But then -yachting was his ostensible occupation at the present time; and if he -deserted his yacht to go to Paris, people would be sure to talk, -shrug shoulders, and say that there certainly was something on -between him and Kitty. Though all this would not matter supposing it -to be followed promptly by the announcement that they were engaged, -yet, under other circumstances, it would in his eyes be highly -undesirable; therefore he stuck to _La Catalina_. - -As for me, I was a good deal disappointed, for I had been looking -forward with vindictive pleasure to the chance of bearing witness -against Messrs. César and Napoleon, and I grudged the hasty departure -from Corsica which deprived me of this chance. A few days later I saw -in a newspaper that they had been caught, and relegated to their -former quarters in prison at Chiavari. That was some comfort, no -doubt; but nothing like as satisfactory as it would have been to have -contributed, in my own person, to bring about their punishment. - - - - - CHAPTER IV. - - CAPTAIN NORROY APPEARS. - - -I have already said that the circumstances connected with the -photograph which I had found in Kitty's purse had made me fancy that -there was some secret reason for her regarding Captain Edward Norroy -differently from the rest of mankind; and I have said, also, that I -was hoping some day to see him and her together, on chance that I -might then succeed in discovering a clue to a right comprehension -of what the relations between them were. This opportunity which I -desired came unexpectedly on the day after our arrival in Paris, and -was brought about in the following manner. - -Mrs. Rollin was determined that she and Kitty must be photographed by -a Paris photographer named Raoul, who was at that time so much the -rage amongst fashionable people that to be in his town and not profit -by the opportunity of having her likeness done by him, would have -been a sin of omission which would have lain heavy on her conscience -for the rest of her existence--or, at all events, for as long as he -continued to be the fashion. It was, of course, necessary in the -first place to ascertain when it would suit the great man to take the -photograph. For this purpose she had intended to go to his studio -in person on the day after reaching Paris; but as she happened to be -a little out of sorts on that day, she preferred to stay at home -reading _Rocambole_, and send Kitty in her stead, under my escort, -to make the requisite appointment. At the studio we found a polite -assistant, who was quite in despair to think that the ladies should -be obliged to wait; but as his _patron_ was just then engaged, he -feared it was inevitable that they should do so, unless their -business was of a nature which he, the assistant, could transact -for them. If so, he should be proud and honoured to receive their -commands. - -Now Mrs. Rollin, having been much exercised in her mind as to whether -it would be more _chic_ to be done in morning or evening attire, had -particularly instructed Kitty to refer the matter to Raoul, and find -out his opinion about it. Consequently she declined the assistant's -offer of his services with thanks, and said that she would wait till -Monsieur Raoul was disengaged. On this we were shown into the -waiting-room, which was as dreary as the rest of its kind, and where -we endeavoured to find amusement by inspecting the various specimens -of the _patron's_ art that were dispersed on the table. - -We were thus employed, and I was standing with my back to the -door, when it opened to admit some one; at the same instant I saw -Kitty--who was looking that way--flush violently and suddenly, and, -on turning round, I perceived that the new-comer was Captain Norroy. - -I need hardly say that I was immediately all eyes and ears for what -would take place; and that my subsequent inspection of photographs -was a mere pretence, which I kept up in order that the young couple -might not suspect how attentively I was studying them. - -They shook hands, exchanged greetings, and then went on to talk of -the weather, the state of the streets, the hotels at which they were -staying, etc., just as any ordinary acquaintances would do. There -was not the faintest trace of consciousness about Captain Norroy's -manner; and he was so evidently free from any kind of special emotion -connected with Kitty, that I doubted, for a moment, whether my -surmises might after all have been wrong. But then, again, I felt -confirmed in them by Kitty, who was certainly not as cool and -unembarrassed as was the captain. The first flush caused by his -entrance had nearly died out; but there still lingered a tinge of -unwonted colour on her cheeks, and a more than commonly brilliant -light in her eyes. In both her look and manner of speaking I could -detect a shade of nervousness, of pleasure, of restraint, of -something different to usual, which I was unable to interpret. It was -a difference so slight as to have been, probably, imperceptible to -any one who did not know her well; but to me it was so plainly -visible that I felt sure I was not mistaken about it. - -As it happened, the conversation presently took a turn which supplied -me with such a clue as I wanted in order to read the riddle which had -been perplexing me, and to arrive at some idea of how matters stood -between these two people, in whom my interest had been excited. - -The captain, looking at his watch, observed that Raoul was not very -punctual, as it was already twenty minutes past the time when he had -said that he would be ready to photograph the captain. - -"What! are you actually going to be photographed?" said Kitty, -laughing. "I can hardly believe it possible when I remember the -vehemence with which I have heard you declare that, having gone -through the operation once, you never would again. You professed to -think it an intolerable bore." - -"Yes--so I did, and so I do still," he replied; "but I'm going to -sacrifice myself nobly for the sake of other people. You see almost -every one, now-a-days, has a _carte-de-visite_ book, which they are -desirous of filling by hook or by crook. Consequently, one is -constantly being entreated for a photo by even one's most casual -acquaintances. One don't like to be always refusing to do what one's -asked, because it makes one feel such an ill-natured brute; but at -present I can't help saying no when I'm asked for a photo of myself, -for the very excellent reason that I haven't such a thing to give." - -"Why not?" inquired Kitty. "Haven't you the photos which were taken -on the solitary occasion when you _were_ done?" - -"Ah! that attempt had no _chance_, as the French say," he answered. -"My batch of copies fell into the fire directly they arrived, and -were all burnt except four, which I managed to rescue, and of which I -gave three to my mother and sisters, and the fourth to Lady Cantern, -who was just then perfectly ravenous for photos, because she and -her sister were in the midst of a race as to which could get her -photo-book filled the quickest. Of course this left me destitute of -_cartes_, so I at once ordered a fresh lot from the photographer; but -the fates were evidently against me, for the original plate had been -accidentally cracked, so that no more copies could be struck from it. -Curiously enough, too, the bad luck which attended that photographic -effort pursued even the copy I gave Lady Cantern. You remember that -time you and I, and a lot of other people, were staying with her last -winter for balls, don't you? What a pleasant visit it was! and -especially that last _cotillion_ you and I danced together--wasn't it -delightful?" - -As Kitty assented, I noticed that she looked down somewhat nervously, -as if she wished to avoid all risk of having the recollections evoked -by the mention of that visit read in her face. - -"Well," he continued, "she says that she missed my photo out of -her book on the very day after her guests departed; and as she is -positive it was in its place just before, she declares some one of -them must have taken a fancy to it and carried it off. At first she -accused _me_ of being the thief--as if it was likely I should care to -have such a caricature of myself as I considered it to be! I can't -imagine how she _could_ suppose that any one would wish for such an -unflattering presentment of himself as long as looking-glasses -continue plentiful! However, I undeceived her on that point; and then -she said that if it wasn't I who had appropriated the thing, it must -have been some one else. My own idea is that she must have put it -away somewhere, and forgotten what she'd done with it. But, anyhow, -she hadn't discovered it when last I saw her, and I don't believe she -will--that batch had no _chance_, as I said before. Ah! here comes -Raoul to lead off his victim. I shall have a few moments of grace -whilst you and he fix the date of your execution; and then----" - -Raoul's entrance terminated this conversation, to which I--whilst -making believe to be engrossed in the study of photographs--had -listened with the greatest attention. It seemed to me to throw fresh -light upon the matter that had been perplexing me hitherto. - -Evidently Kitty possessed a photograph of Captain Norroy of which -there were only four copies in existence. As neither of them had been -given to her, she must have come by it surreptitiously; and her -possession of it was, no doubt, to be explained by the mysterious -disappearance of Lady Cantern's copy immediately after Kitty had been -staying in her house. - -But though I thought there could be no doubt as to Kitty's having -been the person who purloined this precious _carte-de-visite_, I was -sorely puzzled to conjecture what possible motive she could have had -for doing so. After reflecting deeply on the problem, I could find no -solution of it except one, which did not seem to me to be altogether -likely. It was this. Had the handsome young captain perhaps touched -her heart more deeply than was expedient? and could she have fallen -in love with him? If so, that might explain the things that now -puzzled me: her stealing the photograph; the care with which it was -concealed; the emotion she had betrayed when I suddenly produced it; -and also the nervousness and peculiarity of manner I had noticed in -her when she met him at Raoul's. - -But however probable this theory might have appeared in the case of -some girls, it hardly seemed admissible when Kitty was the person -concerned. For as it was quite plain that the captain's sentiments -towards her were simply those of an ordinary acquaintance, it -followed that to suppose her to have a fancy for him involved -supposing that she cared for a man who did not return the compliment. -And her pride seemed to make such an idea impossible. Kitty Mervyn to -have an unrequited attachment, indeed! It was absurd even to think of -such a thing. - -Yet again, on the other hand, who could tell what caprice might not -rule an article so notoriously wayward as a woman's heart? And if -love overcomes bolts and bars, why should it not conquer the stiffest -pride also? Clearly it was foolish of me to think I could be _sure_ -of how any person would act, when there was a possibility of a -strange and unknown quantity like love manifesting itself, upsetting -the best-founded calculations, and altering the whole aspect of -affairs. - -Still, I could scarcely bring myself to believe that Kitty would have -bestowed her affections on any one who did not seek them. Ah! but -then there was the question--had she perhaps imagined that they -_were_ sought? This good-looking Captain Norroy was as pleasant in -manner as he was in personal appearance; his voice was soft and -caressing; he gave me the idea of being a lazy, good-humoured, -susceptible man, who would enjoy popularity with women and take pains -to be agreeable in their eyes; and who would unintentionally put an -appearance of earnestness into a mere passing flirtation, which would -make it dangerous to the other party. And possibly he had admired -Kitty, and flirted with her mildly, without meaning anything serious; -and possibly she had been deceived by his attentions into supposing -he was in love with her, and not discovered her error until her heart -was already touched. - -If that were so, I could not help pitying her; for I knew that the -knowledge of her own weakness and folly must be terribly galling to -her, and that she must be in a continual state of anxiety lest any -one should discover, or even suspect it. Yet I could imagine, too, -that the bitterness would be mingled with sweetness, in that she -would be always hoping he might some day return her love. It was a -hope that it would be most natural for her to entertain; for she -could not fail to know how generally attractive she was to his sex; -and as he was but a man like other men, was it not reasonable to -suppose that he too might be affected by charms which his fellows -seemed to find irresistible? And then the recollection of the -numerous admirers she had had, and for whom she cared nothing, took -my thoughts for a moment into a fresh channel, as I wondered whether -those victims would not have thought it a no more than just -retribution for her to give her affections without return. For I was -aware that some ill-natured people had been known to term her a -regular flirt; and I had heard of rejected suitors of hers who had -complained bitterly of the impartial amiability with which she -behaved to every one, and had declared that she did it with malicious -intent to lead men on to propose, in order that she might have the -pleasure of refusing them. - -Assuming her to be in love with Captain Norroy, I thought I could -form a pretty good guess as to what her feeling about Lord Clement -would be. Her pride would be all in his favour; for pride would be -up in arms at the idea of her waiting to see if the captain would -condescend to throw his handkerchief to her, and would urge her to -terminate so humiliating a situation by marrying some one else. And -thus pride would be a powerful auxiliary to the soaring ambition and -desire to be amongst the great ones of the earth, which were marked -features of her character. All this would evidently prompt her to -accept Lord Clement and the high rank and position he had to offer; -and I could only account for her not having done so already, by -supposing that the voice of natural inclination had made itself heard -on the other side. Perhaps it had pleaded with her not to be in a -hurry, and not rashly to render impossible a happiness that might -still be hers if she would have the patience to wait awhile longer. -Perhaps the struggle between pride and love was going on within her -now, and she had not yet determined which voice to listen to. If so, -I could by no means hazard an opinion as to what the issue was likely -to be; and it seemed to me an even chance which would gain the -mastery. - -How far were all these speculations and conjectures of mine right? -That remained to be proved; and I felt as if fate had kindly assigned -to me a good situation in the front row whence to watch the progress -of a play which it amused me to look on at. Yet, as it must interfere -with one's enjoyment of a play to get excited about its termination, -I should certainly have preferred for some other than Kitty to be the -chief performer. For I was half afraid that I might find I cared for -her too much to remain an altogether indifferent spectator where her -happiness was seriously concerned. - - - - - CHAPTER V. - - A NEWSPAPER PARAGRAPH. - - -Of course Mrs. Rollin and Kitty had a deal of shopping to do in -Paris; for to be in that town and not buy clothes is--to most -feminine minds--an unpardonable sinning of one's mercies. The -dressmaker whom they elected to give their orders to was a certain -Madame Jarrot, much patronised by the fashionable world; and having -made an appointment with her at her own residence, they proceeded -thither to keep it one day soon after the visit to the photographer -which was related in the last chapter. - -Now I liked much better to sit in their drawing-room than in the poky -little garret which was my bedroom; and when they did not want the -sitting-room themselves, I never saw any reason why I should not -avail myself of it. No sooner, therefore, were they safe off than -I betook myself there, and proceeded to make myself comfortable, -according to my usual practice, during their absence. Lying on the -table were some English newspapers that had just arrived, and I began -to read them. In a column devoted to fashionable intelligence, I -presently came upon the following paragraph--to me most entirely -unexpected. - -"The Duke of Murkshire and his family, who are at present in the -French metropolis, will probably return at an early date to their -ancestral halls, in order to make preparations for the marriage of -his Grace's eldest daughter, Lady Emma, to Captain Edward Norroy of -the Scots Fusilier Guards. The engagement of the young couple has -just been announced, and the wedding is, we understand, to take place -shortly." - -When I had read this I laid down the paper, feeling perfectly -dazed. Captain Norroy going to be married to this Lady Emma! In my -speculations about Kitty and her love affairs I had--without being -aware of it--invariably put aside as absurd the idea of its being -possible that any one whom she might honour with her preference -_could_ remain indifferent to her; and therefore I had all along -been unconsciously taking it for granted that Captain Norroy must -inevitably fall in love with her sooner or later; and that if she did -not eventually become his wife, it would not be at any rate for want -of the opportunity. I knew well enough that I myself should have been -at her feet if she had but held up her little finger to me. And as -one is apt to consider it a matter of course that attractions by -which one is oneself fascinated must be equally irresistible to -other people, it was consequently not much to be wondered at that I -should now be utterly taken aback at finding the man whom I believed -her to care for was going to marry some one else. - -The thing seemed to me hardly credible. He must be blind--a dolt and -fool--to have a prize like Kitty within his reach, and let it slip! -Why, there was no one so attractive and charming as she was; she was -(in my eyes) quite incomparable. And though I had never seen this -Lady Emma, and knew nothing whatever about her, I was none the less -firmly convinced that she could not hold a candle to Kitty in any -single respect. - -How would Kitty take the news, I wondered? Had she any expectation of -it? Had the possibility of such a thing ever occurred to her? No; I -had an intuitive conviction to the contrary. When she had met him at -Raoul's her manner had shown not only shyness and nervousness, there -had been something more--something indefinable, of pleasure and -hope--which made me feel sure that she had believed him to be -heart-whole, and not the property of any other girl, or about to -become so. Had she been in England, she would no doubt have heard -some of the gossip by which the engagements of people conspicuous in -society are usually preceded, but her recent absence abroad had, of -course, prevented any rumours of a flirtation between Captain Norroy -and Lady Emma from reaching her ears, and she must now be totally -unprepared to hear they were going to be married. Of course, it would -not matter to her an atom if she were fancy-free about him, and if -the romance I had constructed was a baseless one. But then I was -almost positive that it was _not_ baseless, and that the news would -be a blow to her, though she would doubtless strain every nerve to -conceal that fact. - -My poor Kitty, thought I sorrowfully; and, immediately afterwards, -laughed at my own folly. How could I be so silly as to prefix the -possessive pronoun singular to the name of a person who was not mine -at all? Though she had always been kind and courteous to me, yet her -manner showed plainly that she regarded me as one of an inferior -order, between whom and herself existed, naturally, an impassable -barrier; and knowing this, why should I concern myself about her -troubles, as if she and I had been on terms of equality and intimate -friendship? It would be ridiculous to do anything of the kind. Had I -not resolved before now that I would put a check upon the inclination -to be fascinated by her, of which I was conscious? Certainly I had; -and yet how was I keeping that resolution if I let myself take her -affairs to heart, and feel sorry for her, and indignant with Captain -Norroy, as I was inclined to be at that moment? Provoked to see in -myself such a disposition to be weakly sentimental, I was glad when -my common-sense and turn for ridicule bestirred themselves, and -applied mentally a douche of cold water which cooled down my first -absurd impulse to be her ardent partisan. - -After all, her affairs were no business of mine, and it was mere -folly to let myself be vexed about them in any way. It could do no -possible good, and I should be simply making myself uncomfortable for -nothing. Besides, if she could see into my mind, I might be very sure -that she would not approve of her maid's presuming to take so much -interest in her affairs, and would consider me impertinent and -officious. - -Sensible reflections of this kind effectually repressed my previous -tendency to a foolish soft-heartedness; and I resumed my interrupted -perusal of the newspaper, and amused myself placidly during the rest -of the afternoon till nearly dinner-time, when my mistresses -returned. - -I went to dress Kitty, wondering whether or not she had yet heard of -Captain Norroy's engagement. Anyhow, if she had, it had not troubled -her at all, for she was evidently in excellent spirits; and in that -respect presented a marked contrast to her aunt, who came into her -room during toilette operations, and who--as it was easy to see--had -something on her mind which disturbed her. At first, I took it into -my head, from this uneasiness, that Mrs. Rollin must have some -suspicion of her niece's being attached to Captain Norroy, and -that, having heard of his engagement to Lady Emma, she must now be -worrying herself as to how Kitty would take the news, and as to the -unhappiness the girl might suffer on account of it. But, from what -was said, I speedily discovered that Mrs. Rollin's disquietude arose -from a very different cause--neither more nor less than a pair of -stays. - -"Do you know, Kitty," she said, "that I've been thinking, ever since -we left Jarrot's, of your flat refusal to have anything to do with -that pair of stays she wanted you to wear. I cannot feel satisfied -that you decided wisely. It's still not too late to change your mind, -you know. Are you _sure_ you won't give them a trial, and see how you -like them?" - -Kitty laughed as if the scene at the dressmaker's was an amusing one -to recollect. - -"Yes, I'm quite positive I won't," she answered; "they were at least -three inches too small for me, and I really _couldn't_ consent to -such a wholesale diminution of the circumference of my waist! I -suppose you are moved to plead for them by the recollection of -Jarrot's horror and distress when she found my objection to them was -quite invincible. Really I don't wonder. Her look of shocked and -surprised grief would have been pathetic if the cause hadn't made it -comic; and I was quite sorry to have to wound her feelings so -deeply." - -"Oh no, my dear, of course, it isn't _that_," returned Mrs. Rollin, -somewhat pettishly; "what have I got to do with a dressmaker's -feelings? But what I was thinking of was, her declaring that small -waists are becoming so much the rage as to be almost indispensable; -and that no lady who cares to be _bien mise_ ever _thinks_ of -objecting to have her waist reduced to the smallest size possible. -Jarrot is safe to be a good authority on the subject, because she is -employed by quite the _crème de la crème_ of society. I am afraid you -think only of what you like; and forget that people who don't do the -same as their fellows are sure to be rash, even if not wrong." - -"Only, then, one must draw a line somewhere," replied Kitty; "and -I draw it at having my internal arrangements shoved out of their -places. Not even to possess a small waist will I endure that! Jarrot -regarded it as a mere temporary inconvenience, to which I should soon -get reconciled, because she thought that what is comfortable is -simply whatever one was used to. But there I don't agree with her. It -amused me to see how confidently she quoted _il faut souffrir pour -être belle_, as if that must certainly settle the question. Somehow -or other, even that argument failed to persuade me to make myself -ill, though I am not a whit more deficient in vanity and care for my -personal appearance than the rest of my sex." - -Mrs. Rollin sighed. "If you won't, you won't, of course," she said; -"still I should have thought you might have made the attempt to do as -others do, just for a little bit, as she wanted you to." - -"You see I'm too fond of my precious comfort," answered Kitty, -merrily; "and, do you know, aunty, I've a great idea that I'm not -the only person in the family with that weakness, and that you, too, -sometimes like to go your own way, even if it isn't exactly the -cut-and-dried path followed by every one else." - -"Kitty, Kitty, you shouldn't say things like that," expostulated her -aunt; "you know that I consider being different from other people to -be a proof of an ill-regulated mind; and that, therefore, to accuse -me of eccentric tastes is equivalent to saying I deserve blame. -Please remember that I _strongly_ object to your speaking in such a -most inconsiderate manner." - -"All right, aunt," said Kitty, good humouredly; "I'm sorry I vexed -you--I'll be more careful another time. I didn't for a moment mean to -imply that you aren't all you should be, you know." - -But though she said this, I don't think it followed that she believed -Mrs. Rollin's mind to be always in absolute conformity with its own -standard of perfection. Anyhow, there was a twinkle in Kitty's eye, -which made me doubtful on the subject. - -Their toilettes being now completed, they descended to dinner, -leaving me quite satisfied that Kitty had no secret grief oppressing -her. It must be one of two things, then, I thought, as I watched her -going downstairs: either my theory is wrong from beginning to end, or -else she as yet knows nothing of this approaching marriage. However, -it is very likely that she may not have had time to look at the -papers yet, as they had only just come before she went out. - -When next I saw her it was very different; and I no longer doubted -that I had been right in thinking she cared for Captain Norroy. About -an hour after dinner was over I was in her room arranging some -clothes, when the door opened, and she entered. Her head was -drooping, instead of being carried proudly thrown back as usual; -her face was deadly pale, and wore an expression of misery. On seeing -her like this, I felt sure that she must have just read the paragraph -concerning him, and had rushed off to be alone, so that she might be -relieved from the irksome restraint imposed by the presence of other -people, and might let her features relax for a while into whatever -expression of pain came natural to them. - -In taking refuge in her own room she had evidently forgotten the -possibility of any one being there; for as soon as she saw me she -started violently, and seemed to strive to replace the mask, and look -the same as usual for a few moments longer. - -"You can leave those things for the present, Jill," she said, -controlling her voice with an effort; "I have come to lie down, as I -have rather a bad headache." - -I saw she longed to have me gone, and as I did not want to add to her -troubles, I prepared to take myself off as quickly as possible. But I -was bound to play my part of lady's-maid; and as I knew that it would -be an unheard-of solecism for such an official not to profess -sympathy--whether she really felt it or not--with her mistress' -ailments, I was obliged to pause a moment before departing, that I -might express concern for her headache, and ask if I should bring her -a cup of tea or coffee, or if there was anything else I could do for -her. My offer, however, was not accepted. - -"All I want is to be left quiet," she said, rather impatiently; "if I -want you I will ring." - -I withdrew accordingly. She stayed in her room by herself during the -remainder of the evening, saying that her headache was still bad. -At bedtime she summoned me to assist her as usual, and I thought -she looked perfectly wretched. She meant, however, to keep up -appearances, for when her aunt came in to inquire how she was, and -say good night, she exerted herself to seem as lively as usual. She -declared that her headache was all the fault of those stays Jarrot -had wanted her to have. The mere idea of such an enormity of tininess -had so shocked her nerves, liver, lungs, brain, and organs in -general, that they had felt bound to make some forcible demonstration -of disgust; and the demonstration had taken the shape of a headache. -A night's rest would put her all right, she said, if she did not -dream about those horrid stays; but if she were to have a nightmare -about wearing them, she really could not say _what_ might be the -consequences to her health. This nonsense was uttered with enough of -her customary vivacity to deceive Mrs. Rollin, who went away, quite -satisfied that there was nothing the matter except an ordinary -headache. But _I_ thought differently. I had seen Kitty's lips -quivering while she spoke, and had seen unmistakable traces of tears -in her eyes; I had felt that her head was burning hot, and the rest -of her body like ice; and these things made me believe that there was -something more amiss with her than a mere commonplace headache. - -When I had performed my duties for the night, and gone to my own -room, my heart _would_ keep aching for her, in spite of my efforts to -restore it to its habitual condition of sensible hardness. Our recent -adventures in Corsica had taught me that she would face death and -danger unflinchingly; and I knew her to be exceptionally proud, -strong, and brave. Yet for all her strength, courage, and pride, she -seemed to be almost broken down to-night. And it naturally moves one -more to see such a person as that give way than to witness the -upsetting of a weaker mortal. - -Anxiety about her, as I pictured to myself her solitary suffering, -and longed to be able to comfort her, kept me awake and restless. -What if she were to have a brain fever, or a nervous fever, or some -other kind of illness such as I had heard of being brought on by a -sudden mental shock? Perhaps at that very moment she was ill, and in -need of assistance. So uneasy did I become, that at last I could stay -away from her no longer, but determined to relieve my mind by going -at once to assure myself of her well-being. - -I got up accordingly, put on a dressing-gown, and stole quietly to -the door of her room, where I stood listening for a minute, and -wondering whether she had had the good fortune to fall asleep. No; -for I heard a deep sigh, followed by an inarticulate, moaning sound, -which--though so low as to be hardly audible--had something about it -that seemed to me unutterably sad and forlorn. An incontrollable -impulse seized me to go to her and try if I could not find some way -of being of use or comfort to her. But I could not enter the room -unless she choose to admit me, for she always kept her door locked at -night when in a hotel. I knocked gently, and she responded, "_Qui -est-ce_?" - -"It is Jill," I replied; "may I come in? I came to see if your head -is still bad? and if so, if I shall bathe it with eau de cologne, or -fetch you anything, or try and read you to sleep, or do anything else -for you?" - -"Oh no, thanks," she answered in a weary voice; "pray go to bed and -leave me, for I am better to be quite alone. You know if I want -anything I can ring." - -Was the reminder of the bell intended as a gentle hint that it was -officious to disturb her with an offer of services which she could -command if she required them? That was the light in which I regarded -it, at all events; and I left her door, feeling that I had been a -fool for my pains, and richly deserved the snub I had received. I -asked myself scornfully what had made me try to obtain admittance -into the room? what good it could have been? and what I supposed I -should have done had she opened the door to me? Should I have flung -my arms around her, and told her that I knew all, and was come -to comfort her, or behaved in some similarly gushing manner? -Most certainly not! I knew better than to imagine that an absurd -demonstration of that kind would gratify her from any one, and, least -of all, from a servant. Besides, when she was doing all she could to -keep her trouble and its cause a profound secret, it would hardly -have been a happy method of consolation to go and inform her that her -efforts had failed, and that her secret was no secret at all. What, -then, _should_ I have done? I had not the remotest notion, and was -forced to confess that my impulse to be with her had been simply a -piece of sentimental, impractical folly, which it was very lucky I -had not been able to indulge. I could not possibly have done anything -to help her, and it would clearly have been wiser and kinder of me to -have left her in peace; and, laughing at myself bitterly, and feeling -decidedly small and ridiculous in my own eyes, I retired to bed. - - - - - CHAPTER VI. - - NOTICE TO QUIT. - - -My fears lest Kitty's health might be affected by what had happened -proved unfounded. By next morning she had got herself once more in -hand, and I did not again see the expression of utter abandonment to -misery which had been visible on her face the previous night at the -moment when she entered her room, and before she was aware of my -presence there. If ever she allowed herself to look like that again, -I expect it was not until she had made quite sure first that there -was no human being within reach to see what her countenance might -betray. - -_Some_ change in her, however, it was impossible that there should -not be, after the great and sudden mental commotion which she had -experienced. I observed that she was paler than her wont, and had -black marks under her eyes, which, when commented on by her aunt, she -accounted for as being the results of her violent headache. I saw, -too, that when she was not laughing or talking, and her features -were in repose, they settled into a hard stern expression which they -had not worn before; and that there was in her eyes a new look of -haughty defiance, as though they were challenging the whole world to -penetrate one hair's-breadth further than she chose into the locked -casket of her inner self. In other respects she was outwardly -unaltered, and went about and conducted herself in much the same way -as usual. The first shock of the blow had made her stagger for an -instant, but she had never broken down altogether, and was now -prepared to stand firm, and give no sign of pain. Natures like -hers, endowed with strength, pluck, and indomitable pride, are -generally more likely to be embittered than crushed when trouble and -disappointment comes upon them. - -Just at this period my studies of Kitty's character were cut short -abruptly, and my own concerns forced themselves unpleasantly into the -foreground, and demanded exclusive attention. - -Whilst I had been abroad my mind had been fully occupied with the -various incidents of our travels, and I had forgotten all about my -quondam-admirer Perkins, Lord Mervyn's valet. Unluckily, however, -he had not been equally oblivious of me; for, in rejecting his -attentions and causing the loss of his cherished whiskers, I had -inflicted an injury that he could neither forgive nor forget, and -for which he had vowed vengeance. When, therefore, chance unkindly -enabled him to discover an opportunity for doing me a bad turn, he -lost no time in profiting by it; and the effect which his malice had -upon my fortunes I was now to experience. - -The day before we were to leave Paris and return to England, I was up -in my room, beginning to pack my box, when a housemaid came to tell -me to go to Kitty, who was in her bedroom, and wished to see me. I -obeyed the summons immediately, without a suspicion of impending -trouble ; but my tranquillity vanished as soon as I reached her room, -and caught sight of her face. She was sitting by the writing-table, -and looked up at me, on my entrance, with an air of cold dignified -displeasure, which showed me plainly there was something wrong, and -that I was in her black books for some cause or other. What the -dickens is the matter? I thought. I began hastily considering what -recent actions of mine to which she was likely to object could -have come to her ears; but I could not recollect any misdemeanour -important enough to make her look so displeased. I wished I could -guess what sort of accusation was going to be brought against me, so -that I might know whether to prepare denial, excuse, or frank -confession. For which of these three would be the best defence for -me to offer must obviously depend upon what likelihood there was that -the real truth would be ascertained. - -"I have to speak to you, Jill," she said, "about a most disagreeable -matter. A letter which I have just received from my mother tells me -that she has seen Sir Bartholomew Brown, who has lately returned to -London, and that when she questioned him about you he denied all -knowledge of any one of your name, or answering to your description; -declared that no such person had ever been in his service; and that -the character, purporting to have been written by him, which you -produced in applying for our situation, was a forgery. What have you -to say to this?" - -That was just what I did not know myself; for I was completely -dumbfoundered by this sudden attack from a quarter where I had -anticipated no danger. Why on earth could not Sir Bartholomew have -stayed in the East, as he had been supposed to be going to do? -In vain did I rack my brains for some way of extricating myself -from this dilemma. Not a single idea would occur to me, so I -simply remained silent--a course which had, at all events, the -recommendation of not committing me one way or other. - -Kitty waited for a little while; and then, perceiving that I did not -intend to answer, she said: - -"Am I to understand by your silence that you are unable to contradict -the truth of what Sir Bartholomew said?" - -"Oh, if you _choose_ to understand it so, m'm, of course I can't help -that," replied I, shrugging my shoulders, and still evading a direct -admission of the charge which it was evidently useless for me to -dispute. - -"I do not choose it at all," she returned quickly; "on the contrary, -I should greatly prefer to find that you are able to clear yourself. -But I wish to have a definite answer from you, either yes or no, when -I ask--Is the thing true?" - -I hesitated for a moment. Then, seeing that I could gain nothing by -denying, and that to tell a lie about it would only sink me yet lower -in her eyes without doing me the least good, I replied desperately, -"Well--yes." - -For a few minutes she did not speak, and sat with her head resting -on her hand, and apparently reflecting about something. At last she -said: - -"I have been considering what to do. My mother thinks that you should -at once be given in charge of the police; but that I do not feel -inclined to do, after what we went through together in Corsica the -other day, and the way in which you behaved then. Besides, I have -had no cause of complaint since you have been with me, and I think -you have served _me_ well--whatever you may have done elsewhere. -Therefore, though of course I dismiss you, yet I wish to treat you -with no needless harshness. I propose, then, that you should continue -to be my maid for a day longer, so as not to leave me till we arrive -in London. Thus you will not be turned adrift in a foreign country, -as would be the case if I discharged you here, on the spot; you will -also have been brought back to whence you came, and be left in no -worse position than you were before entering our service. As for your -wages, I shall, of course, pay them to you fully. If you like this -arrangement--which is, I think, as favourable a one as you can -expect--I am quite willing to make it. I daresay some people would -say I ought not to let you stay an hour longer in my service; and -that all the thanks I shall get is to be laughed at, and perhaps -robbed, by a person who has already shown herself to be a forger. But -I would rather take my chance of that than have to reproach myself -with having wronged you." - -I did not like her to think worse of me than I deserved, and for a -moment I felt very much inclined to tell her who I was, in order -that she might see that circumstances had really _compelled_ me to -act as I had done. For if I had not forged a character to start with, -how could I ever have obtained a chance of earning one honestly? I -think I should inevitably have yielded to the inclination, and -imparted my history to her there and then, if there had been anything -in her manner to make me believe that I had won a footing, however -low down, in her affection--that she cared about me just one little -bit. But there was no such indication. She would not defraud me of -one atom that might be due for the services I had rendered, because -it would have wounded her own self-respect to do that. But I saw (or -imagined myself to see) that the consideration she showed for me was -dictated solely by a sense of justice, and not by any softer feeling; -and the rising impulse to confide in her was frozen back by the cold, -haughty severity of her demeanour towards one whom she regarded as a -mere common cheat and forger. Consequently I only replied stiffly -that I was much obliged for her offer, which I should be glad to -accept; and that she might depend upon it I would not give her cause -to repent of her kindness. - -"Very well," she returned, "then we will consider the matter settled -so, and you will leave me when we get to Charing Cross. By the by, I -may as well let you know that I have not told my aunt of what I heard -to-day, and that I shall not do so till after you have left. It would -only fuss her needlessly." - -Then I withdrew, feeling extremely provoked at the turn affairs had -taken, and heartily anathematising Sir Bartholomew for having come -back to England so inopportunely, instead of staying in the East, as -he had been expected to do. How unlucky, too, that Lady Mervyn should -have happened to meet him, and to have had nothing better to talk -about than _me_! The more I thought about it, the more extraordinary -did it seem that she should have ever troubled herself to mention me -to him: for, from what I knew of her ladyship, I should have thought -that a lady's-maid was far too insignificant to be honoured by being -made a topic of her conversation with a stranger--that is to say, -unless there had been some special reason for it; and I did not think -any such reason was likely to have existed in this instance. Very -likely the letter she had written to Kitty about me would contain -some enlightenment on this point. If only I could get hold of that -document, I would see; but the chances were that I should not be able -to lay hands on it, as Kitty rarely left correspondence about--a -carefulness which deprived her maids of a good deal of the amusement -they might otherwise have had. On this occasion, however, fortune -favoured my desires. When Kitty changed her dress that evening, in -taking her handkerchief, purse, and other et-ceteras out of her -pocket, she dropped a letter on the floor without noticing its fall; -I, who was standing close by and helping her, instantly covered it -with my dress, in hopes it might be the epistle I wanted to see; I -managed to keep it under my feet and dress till she was looking in -another direction, and then shoved it under the skirts of the -toilette-table, where it was safely out of sight. She finished -dressing, and went down to dinner, without having perceived the loss; -and as soon as the coast was clear, I rushed to the table, and -extracted the letter, which I had hidden there. On opening it, I -found, to my delight, that it was the one from Lady Mervyn about me; -the contents sufficiently explained why she should have condescended -to discuss so humble an individual as myself with Sir Bartholomew, -showing that it was all owing to the interference of Perkins, and -that I had only him to thank for the misfortune by which I was now -overtaken. After relating what I already had heard from Kitty, Lady -Mervyn went on to say: - -"It was only by the merest accident that we came to hear anything -about the matter. Your father's valet, Perkins, is member of some -club or other (fancy one's servants having clubs, like gentlemen! I -can't think why parliament doesn't make them illegal), to which a man -who used to be with Sir Bartholomew belongs also. With this man -Perkins happened to make acquaintance, and, on hearing where he had -been in service, asked him if he knew Lady Brown's last maid, Jill, -who was now abroad with you." - -Ah, thought I, when I had read so far, I can quite believe that that -spiteful wretch Perkins, directly he thought he had met an old -fellow-servant of mine, lost no time in going spying and sniffing -about, and trying to rake up some ill-natured story against me! _I_ -know his tricks and his manners, as the doll's dressmaker in _Our -Mutual Friend_ used to say. - -"When Perkins said that, however," continued the letter, "the man -stared at him, and declared he was talking nonsense. Lady Brown's -last maid, the man asserted, had been called Smith; had married a man -named Roberts soon after her mistress's death; and had then gone with -her husband to live at Liverpool, where she had been ever since, to -his positive knowledge. This seemed very odd to Perkins, and made him -suspect there was something amiss, so he, very properly, told me of -what he had heard. As it happened that Sir Bartholomew had returned -to England, I had no difficulty in learning the truth from the -fountainhead; and now that I have just had an interview with him, I -write at once to tell you the result. _Of course_ you will not lose a -moment about handing the odious woman over to the police as a forger -and impostor. I shan't be a bit surprised to find that they want her -already, and know lots of other things against her; goodness only -knows what she is--thief, coiner, swindler, incendiary, or anything! -It is so lucky that we should have found her out in time. Mind that -you see all your things are quite right, and if they are not, have -her boxes searched. Don't pay her anything, by the by. I should not -think a person who gets a situation as she has done can claim -wages--it would be getting money under false pretences, I fancy. At -any rate, there's no need to hurry about paying until we find out -whether we are legally bound to or not." - -Having perused the letter I folded it up, and replaced it where -Kitty had let it fall on the floor, so that she might find it there -whenever she missed it, and went to search for it. - -One thing, at all events, the letter proved clearly, and that was -that Lady Mervyn's servants had spoken with perfect truth when they -said she was mean; for how contemptibly mean and petty was her -suggestion about withholding my wages! It seemed to me that as I had -earned them honestly I was unquestionably entitled to them, whatever -my character might be. And I might conclude that Kitty, who was not -so little-minded as her mother, and whose pride made her incapable of -an ignoble action, took the same view of the matter that I did; for I -knew that if she had intended obeying her mother's instructions about -dismissing me unpaid, she would certainly not have mentioned, as she -had done, that I was to receive the full amount due to me. Honour and -truth were integral parts of her character, and apparent in all her -dealings; and though I was not myself sensitively particular about -those things, yet I could not help admiring them in her all the same. - -Well, I had not deserved badly of her, I thought; and in reviewing my -past conduct it seemed to me that, on the whole, she had not much -reason to complain of me. No doubt, my acquisition of her purse at -the railway station had been somewhat questionable; but, after all, -it had only been picked up--not stolen; and my subsequent retention -of it had been caused chiefly by pique, because my feelings had been -hurt for the moment, when I found that she had forgotten me. Since I -had been her maid I had, I considered, served her faithfully enough; -and so I would continue to do during the short remaining period of -being in her service. This resolution, be it said, was prompted by -no ulterior views of self-interest, as I was quite aware of the -impossibility of my ever referring to her for a character. But she -had declined to rob me of my wages and send me to prison, as her -mother would have had her do, and had also troubled herself to soften -the dismissal in some way, and I wished to show that I appreciated -the consideration with which she had treated me, and was not -ungrateful for it. Consequently I omitted nothing that it was in my -power to do for her comfort on the journey back to England, and -performed my duties as her maid up to the last moment of quitting her -every bit as zealously as though I had hoped to gain some advantage -by my attentions. - -At Charing Cross Station we separated, to the intense astonishment of -her aunt, who as yet knew nothing of what had taken place. They went -one way and I went another; and thus I was cut off from the first -person I had ever come across who possessed the gift of arousing the -sluggish capacity for affection which lay dormant in my cold-blooded -nature. Our being parted was entirely the doing of that abominable -Perkins; and, as I looked after her with a sigh, I relegated him to -the same place as my stepmother amongst my enemies, and regarded him -with sentiments of similar detestation. - - - - - CHAPTER VII. - - A DOGGY PLACE. - - -When first cut adrift from Kitty, I felt disgusted with service and -had a great mind not to be a maid again, because I knew I should hate -waiting on any other mistress. But people who have to earn their own -living cannot afford to be fanciful, and reflection soon showed me -the unwisdom of throwing up in a pet a profession in which I had now -acquired some little experience; so, within a couple of days after -my return to London, I was once more advertising for a place as -travelling-maid. - -The next consideration was how I was to get myself a character, as I -certainly could not apply to my late employers for one. Of course it -was open to me to supply myself with it in the same way I had done -before; but though I had then thought it a good joke and laughed at -the deception I practised, yet somehow I did not find myself taking -to the idea nearly as kindly now. I had been in the habit of making -fools of people for the mere fun of the thing, and had regarded a -falsehood much as the historian Green says that Queen Elizabeth did, -_i.e._ as an intellectual means of meeting a difficulty. But my views -seemed to have undergone an alteration of late, and I was conscious -of a certain amount of repugnance for what was untrue, which perhaps -showed that my intercourse with Kitty had had some effect in -educating my conscience, and that I had imbibed something of her -contempt for lies. Therefore I hesitated about writing a false -character; and no doubt my scruples were all the more lively in -consequence of my recent detection and narrow escape of prosecution -for forgery; for I had a horror of going to prison. - -Consider as I might, however, I could see no honest way out of the -difficulty. A character I _must_ have, as without one I had no chance -of a situation, and without a situation I should starve. And as I had -no one to give me a character, I was bound to give it myself. -So--with a sigh for my own roguery--I took a pen and indited an -epistle, highly recommending Caroline Jill, from a lady with whom she -had lived two years and eight months, and who, before departing for -the Cape (where she did not want to be accompanied by a maid) had -written this character for the aforesaid Jill. I flatter myself it -was an artistic composition, decidedly complimentary, and yet not -ascribing to me such perfection as might arouse suspicion by its -incompatibility with the frailty of human nature. - -After waiting for two or three weeks without receiving a single -answer to my advertisement, and searching the papers diligently -during that time without discovering any place advertised of the kind -that I wanted, I came to the conclusion that travelling-maids were at -a discount just at present. Living in lodgings and earning nothing -was too expensive a process to be continued long, so it seemed to me -that I had better alter my plans, and try and be something which was -_not_ at a discount. Should I go in for being a shopwoman? But that -was a monotonous existence, I thought, with not enough chance of -variety and amusement to suit me. And then it struck me that I might -let my talents as courier-maid lie idle for a while, and try for an -ordinary lady's-maid's situation. I knew that my lack of dressmaking -knowledge was much against that scheme; but still I _might_ have the -luck to meet with one of those ladies who always have their dresses -made out. At any rate I determined to make the attempt. - -As soon as possible next morning I procured one or two newspapers, -copied the addresses of as many advertisers for ladies-maids as I -should be able to go and see in the day, and set off to call upon -these ladies. At every place, however, I found that dressmaking was -an indispensable qualification, and I returned to my lodgings weary -and unsuccessful. Next day I repeated the process with no better -result; and on the third day also it was just the same story over -again. Wherever I went there was a universal demand for dressmaking -on the part of the maid; and I began to wonder if, in all England, -there existed such a person as a struggling dressmaker; and if so, -why she did not instantly take to lady's-maiding. - -Though discouraged by these repeated failures, I thought I would -still persevere a little longer before giving up, and accordingly -started on a fourth day's round as before. In the course of them I -came to the house of a Mrs. Torwood, who lived in Chester Square. My -ring at her bell was not answered for several minutes, and I was -thinking of repeating it when a noise something like a miniature -steam-engine approaching from within the house made me pause to see -what was coming. Directly afterwards the door was opened, and I -perceived that the pulling and blowing I had heard proceeded from a -fat, apoplectic-looking man-servant, to whom stairs were evidently -antipathetic, and who was panting tremendously after his ascent from -the inferior regions to the front-door. Being too much out of breath -to waste words, he only nodded affirmatively when I inquired whether -his mistress was at home and disengaged. - -"Then please will you go and tell her," I said, "that I have called -about the maid's place, and ask if she can see me now?" - -By this time he had recovered sufficiently to be able to speak. - -"Why it's _hanother_ of 'em! Is this hever going to hend?" he groaned -in a melancholy voice, when he heard what my errand was. Then, some -happy thought seemed to occur to him, for his face brightened, and he -muttered to himself, "But why shouldn't she and me settle it? _I'll_ -soon see if it's hany good her going further." And without stirring -from the spot, or giving the slightest indication of any intention of -taking my message, he addressed me thus: - -"'Scuse me hasking, miss, but was your father, or hany near -rela_tive_ of yours, a 'untsman?" - -"No," I answered, whereupon his countenance fell a little, and he -resumed: - -"Or a gamekeeper, p'raps?" - -I repeated the negative, and he looked still more disappointed, but -continued: - -"No hoffence, miss, if I hasks one more question, and that is, 'ave -you hever, in hany way, bin abitooally brought in contack with -kennels, or packs of 'ounds?" - -I shook my head; feeling not a little astonished at all this -questioning. - -"Hah, then there's not a ghost of a chance as you'll take the place," -he exclaimed regretfully, "and you may as well say good day, for I -can't in conshence hadvise you to go a wasting of your valuable time -with seeing the missis! I'm sorry--very; for I'm quite sick of a -hopening this old door to maids come about the sitooation, and I did -'ope as you might 'ave done, and put a bend to it. But its no use; -from what you've told me, I can see plainly as you won't do." - -That the man was a character was evident; but as I was getting tired -of standing talking to him, and did not at all wish to receive his -confidences about his employers, I politely reiterated my former -request that he would go and find out if his mistress would see me. - -"Well; but 'aven't I just _told_ you as it's no good?" he returned, -looking at me with an air of aggrieved surprise. "When I tells you as -I _knows_ as you hain't the individooal for the place, can't you go -hoff agin quietly, without a giving no more trouble? If you 'aven't -no considerashin for yourself, you might 'ave some for _me_, and not -give me all the wear and tear of toiling hup a lot of steps just for -nothing." - -The seriousness with which he seemed to expect that I should accept -his opinion, and be satisfied to go away without having seen the lady -of the house, was intensely ludicrous, and I had some difficulty in -keeping my countenance. - -"I am quite grieved to be so troublesome," I said, "but I have a -strange fancy for always making sure for myself whether a place will -suit me or not, and I'm afraid I really must ask you to be so good as -to let the lady know I am here." - -He did not at all resent this (to him, probably, incomprehensible) -pertinacity on my part, but only put on a sort of resigned-martyr -air, saying: - -"Come halong then, since you hinsists hupon it. But you'll soon find -as I was right, and p'raps that'll make you less hinkredulous of my -words hanother time. If you honly knowed what a lot of maids I've a -took hup these 'ere blessid stairs and down hagain, all for nothing! -Putting a hunfair strain hupon a man's lungs, _I_ considers it; but -there!--people _are_ so thoughtless." - -He took care to reduce the strain upon his lungs to a minimum by -making me accompany him as far as the first landing on the stairs, -and wait there whilst he proceeded to the drawing-room. Thus, when he -had ascertained that his mistress would see me, it was only necessary -for him to lean over the banisters and beckon, whereby he avoided -having to descend any steps to fetch me, and could wait placidly till -I joined him on the first floor to be ushered into Mrs. Torwood's -presence. - -There were dogs dispersed about the room in all directions, and my -entrance was the signal for a sudden chorus of sharp barks, which -gave me some clue to a comprehension of the butler's enigmatical -allusions to a kennel. It would have been impossible to hear oneself -speak had the clamour continued; but it subsided as quickly as it had -arisen, and, with two exceptions, the dogs took no more notice of me. -One exception was a terrier, who uttered subdued yaps at intervals, -as if half-ashamed of it; and the other was a collie, who thought he -would like my umbrella (which I held in my hand), and who kept -sidling up with an innocent air, and giving unobtrusive tugs at the -coveted object from time to time, apparently in hopes of getting -possession of it at some unguarded moment when I might be too much -engrossed in talking to his mistress to notice his proceedings. The -rest of the dogs, however, evidently thought that they had done their -duty conscientiously when they had proclaimed my advent, and that -there was no need to pursue the subject further. Very possibly they -considered barking to be the proper canine equivalent to the human -practice of announcing a visitor's name, which is only done on the -visitor's entrance, and not repeated afterwards. - -Mrs. Torwood looked to me pretty, elegantly dressed, and silly, and -I guessed her age to be about thirty. She began by asking me my -name; after I had told her that, I expected the usual queries as to -qualifications would follow, and waited with dread for the mention of -that abominable dressmaking which had so often been my rock ahead. -But her next remark was quite unlike anything I had anticipated. She -hesitated a moment, and then said: - -"You see these dogs of mine? Well, I can assure you that they are the -nicest, best-behaved darlings possible, and not a bit of trouble. Why -any one should mind doing anything for them, I can't conceive; but so -many maids _do_ object to it, for some unaccountable reason or other, -that I had better tell you at once that I expect my maid to brush and -comb these dogs every morning and take them out walking, besides -washing them once a week. So if you would dislike that, of course it -is no use my thinking of engaging you." - -Certainly this was rather a variety on the ordinary ideas of what a -lady's-maid's duties would be; but as I had always been fond of -animals, I did not feel averse to the notion. Still, as Mrs. Torwood -evidently thought it likely that I should make difficulties about -undertaking the dogs, I would not be in too great a hurry to consent, -and would appear to make rather a favour of it. So I paused to -consider, and then asked: "How many dogs are there to look after, -m-m?" - -"There are six at present," she replied; "but of course, if I were to -get any new ones, you would have them also." - -It flashed upon me that here was an excellent opportunity for -escaping the demand for dressmaking which had hitherto been my -stumbling-block at every place for which I had applied. - -"I have never been expected to take care of any lower animals -before," I said, speaking as like a dignified lady's-maid as I -could; "still, I would not object to oblige you by doing so, provided -no dressmaking is required." - -"Why not?" she inquired, looking surprised. - -"Because I know I should not have time for it," I answered. - -"Oh, but the dogs won't take you the whole day," she returned. "I -don't say you would have time for a great deal of dressmaking. But -surely you might manage just a little--especially if you weren't -hurried about it?" - -"There will be you to wait upon, and your clothes to keep in order, -m-m," said I, "and that, with washing, combing, and taking out six -dogs, is quite as much as I could _think_ of undertaking to get -through in the day; because if I undertook anything more, I know I -should only fail to give you satisfaction." - -She hesitated. She had, however, met with so many maids who had from -the first moment flatly refused to have to do with her pets, that one -like me, who had no objection to them, seemed to her a _rara avis_. -Besides, her present maid was just going away, and she was in a hurry -to secure another. And therefore, after a little more opposition, my -firmness carried the day, and the obnoxious dressmaking was conceded. -Then we discussed other details, and I had to produce the character -with which I was provided. This, and the account of myself which I -gave, being deemed satisfactory, the interview terminated in my -engagement as her maid--upon which office I was to enter in another -three days. - -She rang the bell when I left the room, and in the hall I found the -fat butler waiting to see that I left the premises without committing -any depredations on the plate or other portable property. - -"Well; so now you knows as I was right, I s'pose, and that you might -as well 'ave gone away at once when I told you," he observed. - -"Not exactly," I returned, "seeing that I have taken the situation." - -"You don't say so!" he cried joyfully, elevating his eyebrows in -extreme surprise. "Thank goodness for that; and I honly 'opes as -you'll keep it, so as I shan't 'ave no more worrit with maids coming -about the place! What haggeravated me, you see, was knowing all the -time as they was _sure_ not to take it, and that I was just a -trotting hup and down them beastly old stairs, all for nothing. A man -doesn't like to think as he's being sackerificed in vain; and that -there's no hobjeck in heggsershuns sitch as may land him in a -consumpshun or a hastma." - -"But you made sure once too often," I said, laughing; "you declared -that it was no use showing _me_ upstairs, and yet you were wrong, you -see." - -"Not a bit of it," he retorted severely; "no young 'ooman need think -as she'll make me out wrong so heasy as all that. Did you never 'ear -tell of the eggsepshun as proves the rule? Because that's what _you_ -are, let me tell you; and I doesn't form my judgment by eggsepshuns -but by rules! Precious slow those eggsepshuns are in showing -theirselves, too, sometimes. I've known one keep a man waiting till -he's just wore out, instead of 'urrying to the fore sharp when 'twas -wanted, as it _might_ 'a done." - -Having thus refuted the charge of error, and given me a pretty broad -hint that I--by not making my appearance on the scene sooner--had -incurred the responsibility of his numerous needless journeys up and -downstairs on behalf of aspirant maids, he relaxed his severity, and -bid me good-bye with a graciousness which showed he bore no malice -for the injuries I had done him. - -I returned his farewell civilly, little dreaming that this man would -ever give me a means of annoying my hated step-mother; then I went -straight to buy a dog-whistle, which seemed to me a most essential -article for Mrs. Torwood's maid to possess. - -It was on that same day, I remember, that the papers announced the -engagement of the Hon. K. Mervyn to Lord Clement. I had not expected -it to come quite so soon, but otherwise was not at all surprised; for -I had never doubted that the Earl's chance of winning her would go up -as soon as Captain Norroy was out of the question. - - - - - CHAPTER VIII. - - A DISCOVERY. - - -Mrs. Torwood was lady-like, good-natured, indolent, rather foolish, -easily-influenced, not difficult to get on with, and thinking more of -her clothes, her appearance, and her dogs, than anything else. She -spoilt these last terribly, and let them do whatever they pleased. -But I liked them for all that; indeed, if it had not been for them, I -doubt whether I should not have found myself too much bored in the -situation to stay there, for their mistress was very uninteresting -in my eyes, and did not move about enough to please me. Her pets, -however, had considerably more individuality than she had, and -afforded me sufficient amusement and occupation to keep me contented. -As my ignorance of dressmaking had prevented me from getting other -places that I had tried for, and as it was through the dogs that I -had at last surmounted that obstacle, mere gratitude would have -prompted me to do well by them, even if the work of looking after -them had been distasteful to me. But this was not the case, thanks to -my fondness for animals; and it was not long before they and I were -on the best of terms together. - -In some respects, however, they caused me a good deal of anxiety. The -chief of these causes was the daily airing which it was my duty to -give them; and I was always thankful to find myself safely at home -again without either of my charges being lost or stolen, or having -got into any mischief. I used to take them out singly and in a chain -just at first; and as soon as our acquaintance was sufficiently -advanced for me to discard the chain, I took them two at a time. But -I did not venture to go beyond that number when in town, as all the -dear creatures had some little characteristic peculiarity or other, -which made it necessary to keep a sharp look-out upon each individual -during the whole walk, if one did not want to lose them or get into a -scrape. If I enumerate these little peculiarities, I think it will be -evident that my precaution of not taking more than two together was -not uncalled-for. - -I will begin with Dart, a terrier whose mouth always watered after -the calves of children's legs, though he only wanted to enjoy the -feel of the flesh between his teeth, and had not the least wish to do -any real harm. As soon as he saw a pair of these tempting objects -anywhere near, he would go and join the owner, wagging his tail, -smoothing back his ears, smiling, wriggling his body, and altogether -looking sweet enough to inspire confidence in the breast of the most -distrustful infant. Then, turning his head insidiously as he walked -along, he would seize the nearest calf, give it a good squeeze, and -depart hastily, leaving the victim more frightened than hurt, howling -dismally, kicking, and struggling. Of course it was easy to prevent -the catastrophe by recalling him the instant he assumed an expression -of extra-amiability, and set off in the direction of a barelegged -child; but, as barelegged children are plentiful in London, it was -obviously well for whoever had charge of Dart to keep an eye upon him -constantly. - -Yarrow, again, was a collie who had a rooted conviction that his -constitution required carriage exercise, and who never failed to -do his best to give effect to that idea by trying to get into any -carriage, cab, or 'bus whose door he saw open. This habit of his -sometimes gave rise to laughable scenes, as, for instance, one day -when he skipped up the steps of an extremely grand barouche, just as -the gorgeously-apparelled footman was holding the door open for his -mistress to get in, whilst a dignified butler, and a couple more men -in gorgeous liveries were respectfully attending her to the door of -the house she was leaving. The flunkey at the carriage nearly fell -backwards with horror, but did not venture to interfere with the -audacious intruder, so Yarrow settled himself in triumph on the -front seat, and sat there at ease with his tongue hanging out, and -shedding drops on the smart cushions which he was profaning. He -looked blandly at the dismayed servants--not one of whom dared lay a -finger on him--and at the lady standing laughing on the doorstep of -the house; and how the scene would have terminated if I had not -arrived to the rescue and dislodged him, I cannot imagine. He was -complete master of the situation as far as the servants were -concerned; but I suppose one of them would eventually have called a -policeman if I had not intervened. - -A third member of my pack was Royal, a fat King Charles, who always -made me wish I had eyes in the back of my head. He was the veriest -dawdle that ever existed, and was possessed with the idea that -whoever took him out was walking too fast, and that it was his duty -to protest against such haste; therefore, no matter how slowly one -went, he was sure to lag far behind. His dilatoriness was especially -provoking, because of his being so handsome and well-bred as to be -unusually attractive to dog-stealers; and many a collision have I had -with other street passengers in consequence of walking backwards so -as not to lose sight of that precious animal. - -I come next to Sue, a spaniel of inordinate appetite, who, like -Royal, kept me in a continual state of alarm during her walks lest -she should be stolen. As she _never_ thought she had had enough to -eat, she was sure to follow any one who carried food, and would also -constantly stop to sniff about in the gutter in search of something -to satisfy her cravings; for she was not in the least dainty, and -devoured everything edible with relish. She was a shocking thief, -too; and now and then, before I could stop her, she would manage to -whip a beef-steak or mutton-chop off some butcher's tray that had -been left unguarded by the area-rails whilst the butcher was below -enjoying a gossip with the cook. On these occasions I felt a little -puzzled how to act. To let Sue carry off her prize quietly would be -robbing the butcher, and I did not want to be dishonest if I could -help it. Yet, if the man knew what had happened, he would probably -make a bother and claim damages, and I did not want that either. So I -adopted the middle course of running after Sue, taking the meat from -her and restoring it to the tray, and getting clear off from the -spot as quickly as possible before the return of the owner. This -arrangement seemed to me fair to all parties, as it saved me from -unpleasantness, and, at the same time, did no wrong to the butcher. -No doubt his customers would not buy the meat if they knew it had -been in the dog's mouth, and would declare it to be disgusting and -uneatable; but then the idea is everything in matters of taste; and -as the little accident with Sue would be unknown, the meat would be -eaten without a qualm, and was therefore undeteriorated in value, I -argued; for I was sure it was not _really_ any the worse. Sue often -aggravated me also in respect of poor working men eating an _al -fresco_ breakfast or dinner. As soon as ever she saw one of these -men, off she would go, and sit up on her hind-legs in front of him, -begging with glistening eyes, slobbering mouth, and an eagerness that -might have made one think she was starving, if her sleek sides had -not told a different tale. Her beseeching face and manner generally -produced an effect, and I have seen many a man, who looked ill able -to afford a morsel out of his scanty meal, throw her a scrap. I -always interfered with this little game of hers, and prevented her -from being given anything if I could get to the spot in time; for I -felt quite ashamed to be in charge of an evidently well-fed dog like -her, who went sponging upon poor people who probably had not enough -for themselves--I almost wondered she had not too much self-respect -to do it. - -Chose was a light-hearted French poodle, with a strong taste for -sport, which had, unluckily, never been developed in the right -direction. Sheep appeared to him to be quite legitimate game, and he -never could see them without trying to sneak off in their direction, -with a drooping tail and general air of depression, which may have -been caused by a consciousness of wrongdoing, or else by fear of -being recalled before he was out of reach, and thus deprived of the -_chasse_ on which his heart was set. As for birds, he considered all -to be fair game alike, and rushed madly after any feathered creature -that was sitting or running on the ground, or flying low anywhere -near him. Repeated failure did not discourage him; he evidently -believed it to be his mission to catch birds, and dashed off -accordingly in frantic pursuit of rooks, swallows, chaffinches, -sparrows, and other birds on the wing, though he had no more chance -of catching them than he had of jumping over the moon. This was all -very well when he hunted wild birds that could fly away; but it was a -more serious matter when poultry were concerned, and the scrapes he -got into with ducks and chickens in the course of his career would -require a chapter to enumerate. - -Finally, I come to Jumbo, a diminutive terrier, with a mania for -digging, who was the abomination of all the gardeners in his -neighbourhood. Soft, freshly-turned earth was an irresistible -temptation to him; and if not watched carefully, he was sure to slip -off to the nearest flower-bed in park, square, or garden, and there -dig gigantic graves in a surprisingly short space of time. I expect -he thought that, considering what a lot of moles, rabbits, rats, and -mice had holes underground, he must infallibly light upon some one of -these creatures at last, if he persevered in his researches long -enough. He had also a weakness for flowers, and liked to pick them -for himself; so, altogether, I don't wonder he was not loved by -gardeners, one of whom once remarked to me indignantly: - -"That 'ere dawg o' yourn is the werry wusstest little beast I -ever see! I'd just like to take and give 'im to one o' them 'ere -willysectin doctors, _that_ I would!" - -Well, those six dogs gave me a good bit of trouble in one way or -other, no doubt; and all the more because their mistress spoilt them, -and did not try to get them out of their bad ways, and they were not -with me long enough for me to be able to undo the effect of her -spoiling. But they amused me and I liked them, notwithstanding their -troublesomeness; and when I went near them it pleased me to hear the -thump thump of tails against the ground, which showed that I was -welcome. - -The Torwoods kept no indoor man-servant except the butler already -mentioned, who rejoiced in the name of Eliezer Scroggins; and as he -was a respectable, steady-going married man, I found, to my great -satisfaction, that I was in no danger of suffering from persecutions -like those of the detestable Perkins. I got on very well with -Scroggins, and was often amused by his peculiarities; for he was (as -I had guessed at first) somewhat of a character, though a very good -sort of fellow, for all that. His prejudices were very strong, and -he was sure to cling with pigheaded obstinacy to whatever idea he had -taken into his head. I soon discovered that amongst his pet aversions -were people who, in his opinion, gave themselves airs, and presumed -to push their way up to a station above that in which they had been -born. Such people he hated as he hated stairs--perhaps more; and no -matter whether they moved in his mistress's sphere of life or his -own, they irritated him as the proverbial red rag does the bull. -Indeed, I rather suspect that he sometimes had premeditated accidents -when any of these objects of his dislike were dining at the Torwoods, -and that any visitor of theirs who was considered by him to be what -he called a "parvenyoo" was not at all unlikely to receive a bath of -soup, sauce, tea, coffee, or wine, or to suffer from some similar -misadventure, caused by the intentional clumsiness of the butler. - -His bitterness on the subject of people who had risen above their -natural position was so great that I had little doubt of there being -some particular reason for it; and idle curiosity moved me to try and -find out what that reason was, though I never for an instant supposed -that the history could be one in any way specially concerning _me_. -However, he did not choose to confide his private family affairs to a -complete stranger; and so, though he dropped occasional dark hints, -whence I concluded that he had a step-sister whom he detested, yet it -was not till I had been nearly a year in Mrs. Torwood's service that -I at last was permitted to know the cause of his inveterate spite -against the whole race of parvenus. - -His mother, it appeared, had been twice married, and he was her child -by the second marriage. Her first husband was a clerk named Brown, -who had died before he was thirty, leaving only one child, a daughter -named Mary. He had had rather exalted ideas about education, and had -no opinion of home teaching, and consequently had sent his daughter -to a cheap boarding-school as soon as ever she was old enough to -leave home. - -After Brown's death his young widow had married into a social -position a shade below that of the clerk, and become the spouse of a -grocer in the East End, named Joshua Scroggins, to whom in due time -she presented my friend Eliezer, and sundry other children. - -On the second marriage the grocer, a good-hearted conscientious man, -had declared that it would be a shame for her daughter Mary not to -have the same education as her own father would have given her, so he -generously went on paying for her at the school where she had been -already placed. Here the girl picked up a fair education, and also -many ridiculous and fine ideas. She took to spell her name with an -"e" at the end; would sooner have died than let her school-fellows -know that she was connected with a small retail shopkeeper bearing a -name so odiously vulgar as Scroggins; and brooded over the grievance -of having so unpresentable a step-father, until she became convinced -he had done her a mortal injury by marrying her mother, and got into -the habit of disliking and despising him in spite of the kindness and -liberality with which he always treated her. Now Scroggins was an -honest hard-working man, who minded his shop in person, with the -assistance of his wife and children; though he had managed to defray -Mary's schooling, yet the expense had now and then pressed on him a -little heavily, and he had not the least intention of keeping her as -an idle fine lady when she left school for good and came to live at -home, but expected her to take her turn in the shop, as the rest of -the household did. Her disgust at this was intense, and she showed it -by doing her work as badly as she dared, scolding and flouncing about -the house, and losing no opportunity of making herself generally -disagreeable. - -The Scroggins family--consisting of father and mother, and four -children, of whom my friend Eliezer was the eldest--had hitherto -lived in unbroken peace and harmony, and now groaned sorely under the -infliction of the new-comer, with her airs and graces and tantrums. -The recollection of her being fatherless kept them from resenting her -nonsense as it deserved, and made them more gentle and patient with -her than they would perhaps have been otherwise; but it was felt by -all to be a blessed relief when the disturbing element was removed by -marriage to a city gent. He was in business, but did not keep a shop, -and so she graciously condescended to accept him as a means of escape -from the intolerable humiliation of serving behind her step-father's -counter. The city gent proved a good speculation. A few lucky -ventures gave him a rise in the world; and when, in the course of -years, he left her a widow, her social position was very considerably -better than it had been when she first became his wife. By the time -he died, all intercourse between her and the Scrogginses had long -been at an end. Though she had not hesitated to receive a dowry from -her step-father, yet she had never evinced the smallest gratitude for -that, or any of the numerous other benefits he had bestowed upon her. -On the contrary, she took no trouble to conceal her aversion to him; -declared that vulgarity was necessarily attached to such a name as -Scroggins; and, after her marriage, saw less and less of the family, -and rudely checked all friendly advances on their part, till at last -she succeeded in altogether cutting the connection. Mrs. Scroggins--a -peace-loving, kindly soul, who could not bear to be mixed up in any -kind of dissension--was grieved by this, and by the separation from -her daughter, though it was no fault of hers, and she could not -possibly help it. But she bore no malice, and when the news came of -her son-in-law's death, she thought only of her daughter's present -distress, and forgot the many slights and insults that had been cast -upon her and hers. Full of unaffected hearty sorrow and sympathy, she -set off immediately to visit the bereaved Mary, hoping to be able to -comfort her and be of use to her. What took place on the occasion of -this visit Eliezer never exactly knew. But he knew well that the -reception of his good-hearted and forgiving mother must have been -both unseemly and unpleasant, when he saw her return home in tears, -thoroughly upset, and saying that she could not have believed any -woman would have behaved so rudely to her own mother; and that, -unless she was sent for, she would _never_ again try to see Mary. -This had made a deep impression on Eliezer, who adored his mother; -and the bitter enmity he had ever since cherished against the person -who had treated her so badly, and whom he regarded as an upstart, had -extended to the whole race of "parvenyoos." - -"Do you know what has become of your step-sister?" I asked carelessly; -"and do you ever see her?" - -"See 'er!" he ejaculated wrathfully; "not if I knows it. I'm none so -fond of raising my corruption by looking at what I 'ates! But I 'ears -tell on 'er now and agin; she married some swell with a 'andle to 'is -name some years back. Mary Grove's clever enough--you may trust 'er -to do well for 'erself wherehever she is." - -In telling his tale he had not before mentioned the name of his -step-sister's husband; but when he spoke of Mary Grove, I pricked up -my ears with a sudden recollection that that had been the name of my -step-mother. "Was Grove the name of the city gent?" I enquired -eagerly. - -Scroggins nodded. - -"Had they any children?" I continued. - -"A couple o' gals named Jane and Margret there was," he returned; "I -don't know what they be like now, for I ain't seen 'em--not since -they was little mites o' things." - -Jane and Margaret! these had been the names of my step-sisters, and -I felt almost sure that his step-sister and my step-mother must be -one and the same person. One more question would make the matter -absolutely certain, so I said: "What was the name of Mary Grove's -second husband--do you know it?" - -"Oh yes, I knows it; but I can't lay tongue to it at this moment. -What hever is it now? Sir Hanthony something or other--I should know -it if I was to 'ear it." - -"Was it anything like----" I began, and then paused. Never once had -my own name passed my lips since I left home, and somehow now, when I -tried to say it, it seemed to stick in my throat. Overcoming this -feeling, however, I completed my sentence--"like Trecastle?" It was -strange how, in spite of my first hesitation about uttering the word, -yet when once it was out, my tongue clung lovingly to it, and I -should have liked to repeat it over and over again. I thought it -sounded better than any other name I had ever heard, and felt a -thrill of pride to think that it was mine by right. - -"That's the very thing!" he exclaimed triumphantly; "Sir Hanthony -Trecassel, and I wishes 'im joy of 'is bargain! 'Ow hever did you -come to think of 'im?" - -"Oh, I had heard of a Sir Anthony Trecastle before," I replied, "and -so when you started me with the first name, the second suggested -itself quite naturally." - -Here our conversation was interrupted, and I retired to meditate -complacently on the means of being revenged on my step-mother, which -fortune had so kindly thrown in my way. There was nothing _really_ -to be ashamed of in such a connection as the Scrogginses, who were -evidently highly respectable and excellent individuals. Yet few -people in society would altogether enjoy having a mother named -Scroggins, who sold soap and tallow candles in the East End; and, -least of all, the former Mary Brown, who had striven so indefatigably -and successfully to cut herself free from every trace of the grocer's -shop. It would be gall and wormwood to her to have her secret -revealed; and I chuckled with delight to think that it had fallen -into my hands, and that the whole world would know it when I chose. - -But I would not be in too great a hurry with my vengeance. I -would take time about it--prolong her torment by keeping her in -suspense, and letting her see the blow coming before it actually -fell. Therefore I commenced operations by posting to her an -anonymous letter in a feigned hand, stating that the writer was -a benevolent individual to whom the spectacle of domestic discord -was inexpressibly shocking, and who was much inclined to undertake -the good work of endeavouring to bring about a public reconciliation -between the Scrogginses and one of their family who had long been -estranged from them. - -This would suffice to alarm her and make her anxious as to what the -writer's real intentions were. Perhaps she would think he meant only -to extort money--from which idea her parsimonious soul would shrink -with horror; or perhaps she would think that he meant to execute his -threat, which she would regard as a still more terrible possibility. -Either way she would be made miserable, and so my object would be -gained. - -After leaving some weeks for the digestion of this missive, I -despatched another, stating that the writer considered it part of a -wife's duty to introduce her husband to her parents; and that if any -wife failed to perform that duty, it behoved some one else to do it -in her place. - -This I presently followed by a third and still more menacing letter, -so as continually to increase her terrors, and keep her perpetually -with a sword hanging over her head. At every epistle I sent off I -gloated over the thought of the state of disquietude in which she -must be; and as I remembered how uncomfortable she had once made me, -I regretted that I could not be present when the letters arrived, so -as to have the pleasure of seeing my shafts take effect and wound -her. The execution of the threats should come soon, I thought. My -intention was to play with her and keep her on tenterhooks for a -while, and then to send anonymous letters containing information of -her antecedents to my father, his family, the county people, and -others with whom she had formerly been intimate. I should of course -give the address of the Scroggins' shop, so that it would be easy for -the recipients of the letters to verify my statement if they cared to -do so; and there could be little doubt that all her bosom friends -would give themselves that much trouble, even if mere chance -acquaintances did not think it worth while. Therefore there was no -danger of the history being hushed up and kept quiet, and of her -being spared the humiliation she dreaded. - -Before, however, I had brought my operations to a climax, they were -interrupted by an unforeseen event, which must be related in the next -chapter. - - - - - CHAPTER IX. - - THE LAST OF PERKINS. - - -I daresay my readers will take it for granted that I adopted a fresh -name when I went into Mrs. Torwood's service. So I most certainly -_ought_ to have done after my previous forgery of a character having -been detected. But sometimes one is astonishingly stupid; and -the idea of making that very necessary alteration never entered -my head. Caroline Jill I had dubbed myself when I dropped the -secretly-venerated name of Trecastle, and Caroline Jill I--like an -idiot--continued to be, without having the wits to see how foolish it -was of me to stick to a name upon which I had brought discredit. I -was now to feel the consequences of this imprudence, the penalty -being brought about, indirectly, by three of the dogs under my care. - -One morning when I went as usual to call Mrs. Torwood, she said she -should stay in bed a little longer, as she had a headache, and that I -was to leave her to sleep till half-past ten, when she meant to get -up. It so happened that I was particularly desirous of getting -through my work early on that day, and as by taking out the six dogs -in two instead of three detachments, I should have just time to give -the whole lot their daily airing before the hour when I was to return -to my mistress, I determined to break my rule for once, and take -them out three together, instead of in couples, as usual. - -Behold me, then, sallying forth at about 9.30 A.M., accompanied by -the greedy Sue, the vivacious and sport-loving Chose, and the -dawdling Royal. Our progress was characteristic of my three -companions. First went Chose, trotting ahead of us, and keeping a -bright look-out for a chance of a _chasse_. Next came Sue and I--she -making occasional foraging excursions into the gutter, and I -continually walking backwards and wringing my neck, in order not to -lose sight of Royal. Finally came Royal, lagging far behind, with his -customary leisurely imperturbability. All went well till we came to -where a footman had lounged out from his master's house, leaving the -front door open behind him, and was standing a few yards off chatting -with a friend. I and my pack had passed there before often enough for -the footman to know us by sight; and I knew him in the same way, and -knew also that his employers had a pet in the shape of a magnificent -Persian cat. Now this cat had taken advantage of the open door to -come out upon the pavement, where she was sunning herself tranquilly -when Chose, who, as I have mentioned, headed our party, drew near to -that spot. At sight of puss he stopped short with uplifted paw and -quivering tail, and for a second or so the two animals stood -motionless and gazing at each other. Then the cat, distrusting his -appearance, whisked round, and flew like lightning up the doorsteps -into the house. Had she stayed still, Chose might very likely have -let her alone; but the instant he saw her run he became convinced she -was game, and therefore to be hunted. I whistled and called to him in -vain; without a moment's hesitation, and paying no attention to me, -he dashed after her in hot pursuit across the hall and up the front -staircase. Of course it would never do to have him hunting a pet cat -all over its owner's house; so I said to the footman, who was looking -on and laughing without seeming to think there was any need for him -to interfere: "I'd better run in and fetch the dog back, hadn't I?" - -"All right," answered he, knowing that I was not to be suspected of -designs on the spoons; and in I went without more ado. - -The family to whom the house belonged would doubtless have been -considerably astonished to see a stranger invading their premises in -this unceremonious manner; but luckily they were still in their -bedrooms, and I met with none of them as I rushed after my truant. I -followed him upstairs, through the drawing-room, and into a little -boudoir on the first floor. Here I found him standing on his hind -legs upon a light-blue satin sofa (which bore marks of his dirty -feet), and vainly endeavouring to get to the top of a high cabinet -where puss had taken refuge. She, feeling herself in security, was -indulging in a candid and emphatic expression of opinion respecting -her pursuer by growling, spitting, arching her back, swelling out her -tail to three or four times its usual size, and now and then striking -viciously in his direction with her paw. I imagine this last action -was merely meant to relieve her feelings in the same way that -fist-shaking relieves those of human beings, for she must have been -perfectly well aware that the poodle was quite out of reach from her -perch. - -Chose was one of those dogs who are always completely subdued -directly they find themselves captured, so I had no more trouble with -him now that I had come to close quarters; he followed me downstairs -unresistingly, feebly wagging the very tip of his tail, and looking a -touching picture of apologetic meekness and penitence. - -That smell-feast of a Sue meanwhile had profited by the commotion to -get into a little mischief on her own account. Having accompanied me -as far as the hall, she had then immediately sniffed out the -dining-room, and turned in there in preference to going on with me -upstairs, and I, having my head full of Chose, did not attend to -her proceedings. In the dining-room there were preparations for -breakfast, and Sue's nose guided her unerringly to a side-table -whereon some cold meat had been set out. By help of a conveniently -placed chair she speedily mounted on to this table, took up a cold -chicken of which she thought she could fancy a morsel, jumped down -again to the floor, and made off for some safer place where she might -hope to enjoy her fowl peacefully. - -The footman, thinking it time to go and see what was taking place -indoors, bade adieu to his friend, and entered the house just as Sue -was in the act of issuing from the dining-room door with the bird in -her mouth. He immediately armed himself with a riding whip that lay -in the hall, barred her exit from the house, and tried to make her -give up what she had stolen. In this, however, he was unsuccessful; -for though he hit her smartly enough to make her squeak, yet she -still clung resolutely to her booty. Consequently, when I came -downstairs with the recently-disobedient but now abjectly-submissive -Chose at my heels, congratulating myself on being out of this bother, -the first thing I saw was Sue, carrying a chicken, scrimmaging from -side to side of the hall, and endeavouring to avoid the footman's -whip and dodge past him in the street. Very much disgusted at her -having thus got into mischief the instant my attention was taken off, -I swooped down upon her from the rear; and as she was only thinking -of the foe in front and did not notice my approach, I was easily able -to catch hold of her, and enforce the surrender of the bird. - -Provoked as I felt with these two dogs for their bad behaviour, I -could not stop to scold them much at that moment; for I was disturbed -by the possibility that Royal, too, might have taken it into his head -to get into a scrape on this unlucky morning, and I wanted to have -him safe under my wing again as soon as possible. Hastily telling the -footman that I hoped the chicken was not much the worse, and that I -was sorry the dogs had been so troublesome, I hurried off to look for -the King Charles. Even such a slow-coach as Royal had had plenty of -time to overtake us by now, and it would not be at all like him to -exert himself needlessly by going an inch along the road in advance -of the person who had taken him out. Therefore, as he had not made -his appearance in the house, I made sure that he must be waiting for -me outside. - -To my dismay, however, he was nowhere to be seen; look which way I -would, not a hair of the precious animal was visible. "Did ever any -one see such a handful as these dogs are?" ejaculated I mentally; -"and oh, what a fool I was to take out more than two of them at a -time!" - -I had not the slightest idea in which direction to look for Royal, -and was wondering what I had better do, when a ragged little girl -whom I had not before observed, ran up and said: - -"Please, 'as yer losted suthin?" - -"Yes; a little dog," I returned; "can you tell me where it is?" - -"I seed a man pick'n hup and put'n in a bastik, and I thought it -warn't hisn, neither," she exclaimed, pointing down the street; "he'm -jest gone 'long the fust turn to the right there. Run quick and -you'll ketch 'im p'raps." - -I delayed not a moment, but set off at full speed; and the two dogs -ran with me, greatly excited at my sudden haste, and mystified as to -the cause of it. As for Chose, he forgot all about his penitence, -was immediately in the highest spirits, and bounded along with an -up-in-the-air, elastic, springing action which implied an unlimited -stock of suppressed energy ready to display itself the instant he -should succeed in discovering what game I was in pursuit of, and he -was to go for. - -On reaching the turning indicated, I saw a respectably dressed man -with a basket on his arm at some little distance off. When first I -saw him he was walking fast in the same direction as I was; at the -sound of my footsteps he looked round, and then began to run. Close -to the other end of the street was a crowded thoroughfare where it -would be easy enough for him to give me the slip; so I strained every -nerve to come up with him before he could get out of the street in -which we then were. But it was not an equal race between us; for he -had a start and was quite fresh, whilst I was already a little bit -out of breath with running; and I soon perceived that he would escape -unless I could procure assistance. - -Thinking Chose might be useful, I tried to incite him to rush on and -tackle the man. But he only responded by barking, springing higher -than ever in the air, and looking wildly about to find out what he -was being set at. Evidently it never entered his head that he could -be meant to hunt a human being. - -Two or three times I called out "Stop thief!" But that was mere waste -of breath, for the street was empty, and though the cry attracted -some of the inhabitants to their doors and windows to see what was -going on, no one made any attempt to come to my aid. I suppose they -wanted to know the rights of the matter first--and I had not time to -stop and explain it just then. - -The man had almost gained the end of the street, and I was giving up -all hopes of success, when, in the very nick of time, a policeman -came in sight just in front of him. My shouts and gesticulations made -the policeman comprehend that I wanted the runner stopped. The latter -tried to bolt past the official, but was foiled; and, to my joy, I -beheld the fugitive captured and held fast. When I came up, I found -him expostulating with his captor with an assumption of much virtuous -indignation, declaring that he was hurrying to catch a train, that it -would be ruin to him to miss it, and that he should hold any one who -stopped him responsible for whatever loss he had to suffer in -consequence. - -"Please look in his basket," I panted to the policeman, "and see if -there isn't a King Charles spaniel in it that he has just stolen." - -"In _corse_ there's a dawg," exclaimed the fugitive with an air of -injured innocence, whilst the policeman lifted up the lid of the -basket, and discovered Royal ensconced underneath, "and why not? It's -my own dawg as I'm a takin' with me, and 'as I'm 'bliged to carry -when I'm in a 'urry cos he can't go fast enough to keep hup. Does -the good lady think as no vun 'as a right to 'ave a dawg besides -'erself?" - -"Certainly not," replied I, "but that dog is not yours for all that, -as you know well enough. He belongs," I continued, addressing the -policeman, "to a lady living in Chester Square, whose maid I am. Come -there with me, and you will soon see whether this man's story is true -or not." - -"Oh, hof corse you sez that," grumbled the thief, "when I've -jest a told you as I can't hafford to miss my train, not on no -consideration! But there! what's the lost of a dawg to the lost of a -fortin? Take 'im, then, since you hinsists! Do hanythink you pleases, -honly don't keep me 'ere no longer." - -But the policeman was not to be gammoned. He said we must both go -along with him to Chester Square to find out if my story was true; -and added with gentle satire, that as the man claimed the dog and -was so unwilling to be parted from it, he might have the pleasure -of continuing to carry it in the basket till the real ownership -should be proved. And so we all set out together for the Torwood's -house, notwithstanding the prisoner's fluent remonstrances and -protestations. - -As I rather prided myself on being habitually wide-awake and capable -of performing whatever I undertook to do, I should have felt it was a -disgrace to me to lose one of the dogs; and therefore I was sincerely -thankful to the little girl by whose means I had been saved from -incurring such a slur. I saw her loitering at the end of the street, -watching the result of my chase; and as we passed back that way, I -went up to thank her for her timely information. So grateful did I -feel, that I was pulling out my purse to express my sentiments in a -substantial form, when, to my surprise, she stopped me by saying: - -"Don't do that! I 'on't take nothin' for tellin' what you wanted to -know, cos I was honly payin' a debt as I've oweded you this long -time." - -Seeing my look of astonishment, she continued: - -"'Twas you as bought flowers off o' me so as I could get brexhus, one -mornin' two years back and more, when I was that 'ungry I didn't know -what to do; and I've hoften thought as I'd like to pay you back for -it, and wondered if I should hever get a chance. When I seen the chap -grab the dawg I didn't mean to say nothin' 'bout it at fust--for I -doesn't never care to go gettin' coves into trouble; but then I see -you come out o' the 'ouse, lookin' like as you'd losted suthin; and I -'membered your face all of a suddint, and I thought if the dawg was -yours, I'd tell you where 'twas gone, to pay back what you done for -me afore." - -I recollected the girl now, and saw she was the same whose -breakfastless condition had excited my compassion one day long ago, -just after I had run away from home and come to London. Certainly she -more than repaid what I had done for her then. Value for value, I -should have had very much the best of the bargain if the dog had--as -she supposed--belonged to me; for I knew that £30 had been offered -and refused for Royal, whereas the amount that I had given her was -only a shilling. "I should like to be able to invest all my shillings -at that rate of interest!" thought I, as I nodded good-bye to her, -and hurried to join the policeman and his prisoner. - -Mrs. Torwood regarded dog-stealers with much the same antipathy that -some sporting squires seem to feel towards poachers--deeming them -natural enemies to the common weal, who might advantageously be -extirpated, root and branch. She had, therefore, no idea of letting -slip the excellent opportunity which now presented itself for the -punishment of one of these abominated miscreants, and the prosecution -of Royal's thief was a matter of course. When the trial came on, -naturally I was a principal witness; and thus the police reports in -the paper contained the name of "Caroline Jill, lady's-maid to Mrs. -Torwood, of -- Chester Square," as having given evidence in a -dog-stealing case. - -As luck would have it, this caught the eye of my old enemy Perkins, -and set him wondering whether the person referred to could be the -same individual who had once presumed to reject his advances so -rudely. Though he had already been the means of turning me out of one -place, yet still his spite was not satisfied; so (as I suppose) he -hung about Chester Square till he had seen me pass, and ascertained -my identity; then he came to our house, and had an interview with -Mrs. Torwood. - -It happened that I was looking out of the window when he left the -house. I was extremely astonished to see him, and still more -astonished at the state he was in, for he looked deadly pale, and all -wild and frightened, and was shaking visibly. The sight of him made -me uneasy; for though I had no notion of the object of his visit, -still I was sure that his appearance in my vicinity was not likely to -bode any good to me. - -I took the first opportunity of trying to find out from my friend -Eliezer, what the man's business with our mistress had been. But -Eliezer could tell me nothing about it; all he knew was that the -party had asked to speak to her, saying that he had something -important to say, and that he had left her again after a not very -long interview. - -"She must have frightened him pretty well, whatever it may have been -about," said I; "he looked worse than if he'd seen a ghost, when he -went away." - -"Ah, he did that," returned Eliezer, chuckling at the remembrance, -"but it was, so to say, hisself as he was 'feared on. I never see -sitch a coward in hall my born days, 'afore." - -This naturally excited my curiosity, and I made Eliezer tell me what -had taken place to give Perkins a fright, which, I need scarcely say, -was not an unpleasant hearing to one who owed him a grudge, as I did. - -The collie Yarrow, it appeared, had been lying on a mat in the hall -when the visitor departed; and the latter, not seeing the dog, had -inadvertently trodden heavily on his toe. Now Yarrow's temper was, -like that of many collies, a little uncertain; and as, furthermore, -he had always a particular objection to have his toes walked upon or -hurt, he lost not an instant in retaliating by biting his injurer in -the leg. Perkins, startled at first to find himself stumbling over a -dog which he had not seen, seemed completely overcome by terror when -the stumble was followed promptly by a severe bite; he staggered back -against the wall, turning as pale as ashes, and hardly able to speak. -When he had recovered himself a little, Eliezer discovered that the -cause of this great fright was, that Perkins had a sort of craze -about hydrophobia, and held it in such intense horror that he was -really not capable of being reasonable where it was concerned. - -Eliezer being the only person handy at the moment, was besieged by -Perkins with flurried questions. Wasn't it as bad to be bitten by an -animal that was angry as by one that was mad? How long was it before -madness showed in a person who had been bitten by a mad dog? Was it a -_certain_ cure to have the place burnt out? Was there any other less -painful remedy? It would be so horrid to have one's flesh burnt! but -still--hydrophobia would be worse. Whatever should he do? - -These and similar questions were poured into the ears of Eliezer as -though he had been an authority upon madness, because Perkins was in -that state of absurd panic which made him long to hear a word of -comfort from any one--no matter who. But he did not get any -consolation from Eliezer, who had a hearty contempt for cowards, and -rarely lost a chance of tormenting them by playing upon their -weakness. Therefore the butler carefully abstained from saying -anything reassuring, shook his head and sighed, and affected to think -the bite an extremely serious matter. Finally, the victim departed in -a state of the utmost disquietude, divided between anxiety to try and -put himself in safety by undergoing cauterisation, and fear of the -pain which it would cause him. - -Whichever way he settled it, he was sure to make himself miserable -lest he was going mad for a very long while to come, Eliezer opined, -laughing contemptuously at the idea of a man's torturing himself -gratuitously in that ridiculous fashion. And my anxiety as to what -had brought Perkins there did not prevent my joining in the laugh at -his absurd terror and folly. - -A day or so elapsed, during which I heard nothing unpleasant from -Mrs. Torwood, and I began to hope that, after all, the visit that -had alarmed me might have had nothing to do with my affairs. This, -however, was not the case. Perkins had told her that I was an -impostor, who had been dismissed from my last place because the -character with which I obtained it was a forgery. But she was -reluctant to have to part with a maid who suited her and got on -with the dogs as well as I did, and was not inclined to credit so -startling an accusation brought against me by a man whom she had -never seen before and knew nothing of. When her husband came home, -however, she told him what she had heard, and was advised by him to -wait, and say nothing about the matter, till Lady Mervyn had been -communicated with to find out whether the story was true or not. That -lady, of course, confirmed it entirely; and as the date of my being -sent away by her was only a few weeks before I had entered the -service of my present mistress, it was very evident to the Torwoods -that my second character was as unreliable as my first one, and that -the lady who had recommended Caroline Jill before going to the Cape -had had no existence save in my own imagination. - -Thereupon my fancied security was scattered rudely to the winds. Mrs. -Torwood at once informed me of what she had discovered, and said it -was impossible that she should allow me to remain in the house a day -longer. Her husband, she added, had thought she ought to prosecute -me; but she refused to do that, because during the whole time I had -been with her (over a year) I had given her no cause of complaint, -and had always taken excellent care of the dogs. Therefore she should -content herself with insisting on my immediate departure. - -It was hopeless for me to deny the misdeeds with which I was charged, -so there was nothing for it but to pack up my things and take myself -off as soon as might be. - -Really, I thought, as I made the requisite preparations, it is very -provoking that my employers will not be satisfied to judge me by -their own personal knowledge! First there was Kitty, and now there's -Mrs. Torwood. I am sure they both of them were well-disposed in my -favour, and believed that I served them satisfactorily. Yet they let -their own experience go for nothing, and are afraid to keep me in -their service, just because I am not provided with the proper -conventional, often quite unreliable, certificate of somebody else's -opinion of me! I call it very silly of people to have so little -confidence in their own judgment. - -As for Eliezer, he was aghast at my sudden flitting, and began -ruefully anticipating the many futile journeys up and down stairs -that would probably be inflicted upon his cherished lungs before a -satisfactory successor to me would be found. - -I confess I thought his anticipations very likely to be realised; -for though the place suited _me_ well enough, it was not one that -many maids would care to take. The general run of abigails study -dressmaking as an art, are ambitious of displaying their skill in -that line, and naturally turn up their noses at the idea of throwing -away their talents by spending the best part of their time in -attending to dogs. Whereas I, who had neither taste nor capacity for -any form of millinery, regarded the animals as far the most congenial -and interesting occupation of the two. - -As I reflected indignantly on the behaviour of the mean, spiteful, -meddlesome, cowardly Perkins, who had thus a second time been the -means of turning me adrift, I rejoiced to think that dear Yarrow had -avenged me to _some_ extent at all events, though not perhaps as -completely as I could have wished. The pain of a bite was not much of -a set-off against the harm he had done me, to be sure; but then I -might add to his sufferings an unknown amount of terror, because of -his being such an abject coward as he was; and there was the chance -too of his having thought it necessary to have the bitten place -cauterised. Altogether, I thought Yarrow was a most discriminating -dog, and my last act before leaving the house was to caress him and -give him one of his favourite biscuits. - -It proved, however, that he had avenged me more thoroughly than I had -imagined, and that Perkins' interference was to cost him his life. -His horror of hydrophobia made him take a hot poker and try to burn -the bite on his leg; but his dread of pain made him timid and clumsy, -and, letting the poker slip accidentally, he inflicted a really very -severe burn upon himself. Being in a bad state of blood at the time, -the wound would not heal; and after a good deal of festering and -inflammation, blood poisoning set in, and finally caused his death. - -I learnt these particulars from the newspapers, which reported the -inquest that was held upon him; and as this was not till some time -after I was dismissed by Mrs. Torwood, I am anticipating the proper -course of events by introducing it here. But I do so because I think -that this is the best place to relate what eventually became of him, -and in the next chapter I will return to an account of my proceedings -in due chronological order. - - - - - CHAPTER X. - - AN ACCIDENT. - - -Evidently the first thing to be done when I was turned out of the -Torwood's house was to find a habitation for myself somewhere else; -and the search for a suitable lodging occupied me till late in the -evening. When at last I had succeeded, I told the landlady that my -name was Charlotte Jackson; for I had learnt wisdom by experience, -and, having now perceived the folly of continuing to call myself -Caroline Jill, I substituted for it the first name that occurred to -me whose initials would correspond to the C. J. with which my linen -was marked. - -By the time I had taken possession of my new quarters I felt quite -ready for supper, and betook myself, therefore, to a neighbouring -coffee-tavern, where, for the sum of twopence, I procured a -satisfying and not extravagant meal, consisting of a large hunch of -good bread and a basin of thick pea-soup, which--though perhaps -somewhat coarsely flavoured--was undeniably savoury and nourishing. -Then I returned to my lodging and composed another of the anonymous -letters with which I was harassing my stepmother. I took especial -pains to make it as unpleasant and likely to alarm her as I could, -because it was the last that I intended sending her. I meant to let -about a week more elapse, and then to put my threats into execution -and proceed to the final act of vengeance, by making known to her -husband and friends the whole history of her Scroggins connection. - -Having written this letter and directed it all ready to post next -day, I proceeded to consider my present situation, and what my next -effort for a livelihood should be. But I suppose the pea-soup must -have been indigestible, for I was out of sorts somehow, took a gloomy -view of things in general, and was unwontedly dispirited about my -prospects. My mind seemed to have no elasticity or variety, and -would keep reverting to the difficulty of getting a place without a -character, and the impossibility of getting a character without -forging it. The pitcher that goes often to the well gets broken at -last, thought I; and though, hitherto, the detection of my forgeries -has brought no worse consequences than dismissal from my situations, -yet I cannot reckon on always escaping so easily. If I do not mind -what I am about, I may find myself in prison some fine day; and to -_that_ I should object most strongly. It would be too horribly -disgraceful; I should never be able to hold up my head again -afterwards! - -I could arrive at no settled determination whatever, and finally went -to bed in a very bad humour with myself for being so irresolute and -inclined to be disheartened. - -When I woke next morning I was more cheerfully disposed, and thought -I would get a newspaper and give a look at the advertisements. There -could be no reason why I should not do that, at all events, as -reading them did not by any means necessarily involve answering them. -Accordingly I procured a newspaper and proceeded to study it. Here a -temptation to recklessness at once presented itself in the shape of a -notice setting forth that excellent situations for courier-maids were -to be heard of on application to Mrs. Asterisk's registry office. The -idea of going abroad again made my mouth water; and, putting aside -the character difficulty for future consideration, I proceeded -immediately to Mrs. Asterisk's, paid the preliminary fee without -which her lips were sealed, received in return the addresses of a -couple of ladies in want of travelling-maids, and set off to call at -one of these addresses. - -The way to this place took me near the chief approach to a large -railway station, whence a train was shortly about to start; and I -had to pause before crossing the road in order to let a string of -luggage-laden cabs and carriages go past. In the line of vehicles -coming towards where I stood, there was a brougham which exhibited -signs of wealth combined with perfect taste, which made me notice it -particularly, and wonder who the fortunate owners could be. The -colouring, liveries, etc., were as quiet as possible, and there was -nothing showy about the turn-out except the splendid pair of -high-stepping horses by which it was drawn. But, though not showy, -none the less was every detail of its appointments faultless, and I -lingered to see if the occupants were as well worth looking at as -their equipage was. As the fiery horses came slowly abreast of me, -tossing their heads, snorting, and champing their bits with -impatience at being delayed, I saw that there was an earl's coronet -on the harness, and that a lady and gentleman were in the carriage. -In a moment more it was near enough for me to recognise who they -were, and then I saw that they were Lord and Lady Clement. - -I had not before set eyes on Kitty since I parted from her at Charing -Cross; but I had often and often thought of her, and wondered whether -her marriage had brought her happiness; and now I gazed at her -eagerly, trying to guess this from her countenance. Impossible, -however, to read the secrets of a face as impenetrable as hers! All I -could tell was, that she looked handsomer than ever, and just a -trifle more stern; and I had an idea, too, that the haughty immovable -expression which had been always somewhat characteristic of her had -become intensified. Her husband addressed some remark to her, and she -answered him promptly with a gracious pleasant smile, that showed -them to be on thoroughly good terms together. Yet I fancied it was a -smile of conventionality rather than of affection; it seemed only to -come from the lips--the eyes and rest of the face had nothing to do -with it; and I hardly thought it was such a smile as a young wife -would be likely to bestow upon a husband who possessed her heart. Yet -after all, what did I know of the matter? It would be absurd for me -to think I could form any opinion as to her happiness from a mere -glimpse of her like this. - -It was strange how the old charm which she had always had for me -reasserted itself the instant I beheld her again. In her I seemed to -recognise the sole human being in the world whose affection I would -have taken trouble to obtain; and as I looked wistfully after her, -thinking that I might possibly have had a chance of it, if it had -not been for my stepmother and Perkins, I felt a fresh access of -resentment towards them. My stepmother, by making home intolerable, -had exiled me from the sphere of life where I could, perhaps, have -made friends with Kitty as an equal; and Perkins, by spitefully -driving me out of her service, had deprived me of the opportunities I -might have had of winning her regard as an inferior. How curious it -was that, notwithstanding what untoward circumstances had done to -separate us, there yet existed between her and me the sort of -half-bond which is involved in the possession of a mutual secret. -For had not I discovered the love for Captain Norroy which she had -striven zealously to conceal? and did not I know that about her which -she believed herself to have kept secret from the whole world? - -The carriage went on into the station, and I continued my course -without dreaming that the trivial incident of waiting to see Kitty -Clement drive by had affected my destiny materially. Such, however, -was in truth the case; and the way in which it happened was this: - -The sight of Kitty had, as I have just said, reminded me of my -stepmother; and that made me think of the letter I had written on -the previous night. I had put it in my pocket when I came out, and -afterwards forgotten all about it till the present moment. Now, -however, that I had remembered it, I thought I would post it at once -so as to make sure of not forgetting it again, and accordingly looked -about for a post-office. At the corner of a small side street was a -pillar-box, which was only a few steps out of my way, so I walked up -to it and posted the letter there. - -Near by a groom was capering and careering about on an obstreperous -horse; and just as I turned away from the box, the steed sprang on to -the pavement in spite of all the rider's efforts to restrain him. -There he set to plunging and kicking so close to me, that I was -obliged to jump hastily into the road in order to get out of reach of -his hoofs. Thinking only of the danger from the animal prancing on -the pavement, I did not observe a hansom that was dashing up the -side street. It came shaving round the corner at full speed, and in -another instant I was knocked down, run over, and stunned. - -Then comes a confused recollection of acute pain which made me groan; -of being moved; of wishing to know what was happening to me, and -feeling absolutely incapable of rousing myself sufficiently to find -out. And then I must have lost consciousness altogether; for the next -thing I remember is, becoming gradually aware that I was in bed. That -one fact was as much as my mind was equal to take in at first; I was -not altogether sure of my own identity, and recollected nothing -whatever of the accident. After lying thus inert for a short time, I -opened my eyes and looked at as much as was to be seen without moving -my head, which I felt far too languid to do. The result of my -observations was, that there were other beds near me, and that I was -in a large airy room; I perceived also a prevailing odour of carbolic -acid in the place. Had I been in my ordinary condition of energy, I -should have been wild to know where I was, and how I came there; but, -as it was, I was too limp both in body and mind to be curious or -astonished at anything. Therefore I reclosed my eyes with a vague -impression that there was something a little odd about my situation; -but that as long as I could lie still and do nothing I had all that I -desired. - -This transient dream of consciousness was succeeded by an interval -during which I can only recollect nightmarish visions and miseries. -The next thing that my memory recalls definitely is a short -conversation between two people whose voices sounded to me as though -coming from some remote distance, though in reality, as I knew -afterwards, they were close to my bedside. - -"What is this case?" said the first voice. - -"It's a woman who was run over by a cab," replied the second; "her -leg is broken, and she has other injuries also. She was brought in -yesterday morning, and hasn't recovered her senses properly yet." - -"Indeed!" returned the former speaker. "How did you find out her -name, then? I see you've got it stuck up over the bed." - -"Oh, there was an envelope in her pocket addressed to Caroline Jill, -No. -- Chester Square," was the answer. "We sent to the address to -ask if she was known there, and to say she had been brought to the -hospital. It appeared that she had been lady's-maid at the house, and -been dismissed the day before, and they knew nothing of who her -belongings were, or where she lived, or anything about her." - -As I heard no more, I conclude that here the speakers moved away -from my bed. The few words they had said, however, had sufficed to -enlighten my cloudy state of mind. At first I had listened without -having an idea that _I_ could be the person referred to; but when the -name of Caroline Jill was spoken I remembered all about myself, knew -clearly who I was, and realised what had occurred to me. Yes; I had -gone to a pillar-box to post the letter to my stepmother, and there -had been an unmanageable horse to be avoided. Then there had come -suddenly a rattle, a violent concussion, confusion, pain, and utter -blank; and I comprehended that I had been run over and brought to the -accident ward of a hospital. I recollected, too, my prudent design of -dropping the name of Jill; and as I realised that that intention was -frustrated for the present, I felt a faint trace of amusement at the -persistency with which the old childish name had stuck to me. - -Was it true that my leg was broken, as those two people had just -said? Very likely. Anyhow I would take their word for it, for I -certainly did not feel inclined to stir hand or foot to verify the -statement. And as my head ached, and I was quite exhausted with the -effort of so much consecutive thought, I speedily relapsed into my -former comatose condition. - -When next I recovered my senses, my head was clear; I remembered -directly how I came to be in a hospital, and looked around me. It was -night, and by the dim light of a shaded lamp I could see the nurse -in charge of the ward sitting in an upright-backed wooden chair, -where she had fallen fast asleep notwithstanding the hardness and -discomfort of her seat. I could see, too, a glass containing -lemonade standing on a table near the head of my bed, and, as I was -parching with thirst, I managed slowly, and with difficulty, to draw -one hand out from under the bed-clothes, and stretch it out towards -the tempting drink. Alas! the glass was out of my reach. The sight -of the delicious liquid made my thirst grow worse and worse, till it -seemed quite unendurable, and I was impelled to try and wake the -nurse, to ask her to give it to me. Accordingly I called out to her -as loudly as I could. But my utmost efforts produced only a wheezing -feeble sound, which was powerless to produce any impression on her -slumbers. The amount of fatigue which it cost me to uplift my voice -was quite disproportionate to the insignificance of the result, and -I was so tired with the attempt to make myself heard, and the -exertion of getting my hand out of bed and reaching after the glass -of lemonade, that I realised it was useless to think of waking the -nurse, and that I must resign myself to bear the thirst as best -I could, till she should wake of herself. Mortification at my -helplessness, and profound pity for my poor dear self, caused tears -to rise to my eyes and moisten my cheeks. I lay still and watched her -so anxiously that one might almost have thought the mere ardour of my -gaze ought to have disturbed her repose. Still she slumbered on -blissfully. Oh, why would not she wake when I was so very very -thirsty! - -Suddenly I heard a door open at the other end of the room, and, on -looking round, saw a woman enter whose dress showed her to belong -to some Sisterhood. I had never thought well of Sisters in my life. -They always had seemed to me to be useless, so eccentric as to be -well-nigh mad, and--though otherwise harmless--yet objectionable on -the ground that their mere existence conveyed a continual tacit -reproach and assumption of superiority to more self-indulgent -mortals, who shrank from the strictness and hardness which the -Sisters imposed upon themselves voluntarily. Hence the fact of the -new-comer's wearing a Sister's habit sufficed to prejudice me against -her; and on an ordinary occasion I should not have spoken to--far -less asked a favour of--her. - -But the present was _not_ an ordinary occasion. All I cared for -was to have the thirst that tormented me relieved with the least -possible delay; and no sooner did I see her than I made a frantic -effort to call out loud enough for her to hear. The cry, feeble as -it was, reached her ears; and as she was not sure from which bed it -proceeded, she advanced slowly up the room, saying, in a low voice, -"Who called me?" - -I held up my hand to show it was I who had summoned her; she came -straight to the bedside and asked what I wanted. "Drink!" I gasped, -with some difficulty; for my throat was so dry that I could scarcely -articulate the word intelligibly. - -With one hand she took up the coveted draught, and, putting the other -arm under my pillow, raised me to exactly the right height at which I -could drink comfortably, and then held the glass to my lips. Never -was nectar more delicious and refreshing than that lemonade tasted to -me! When I had drained the last drop I begged eagerly for more, and -she quickly replenished the tumbler from a jug on the table, and -again gave me the liquid for which I craved. At last my burning -thirst was quenched, and when she had gently restored me to my former -position in the bed, I could not help feeling beholden to her, -notwithstanding that it was a shock to my previous notions to think a -Sister could be useful, and notwithstanding, also, that one never -altogether relishes the upsetting of any of one's preconceived -cherished ideas. - -I could speak better now, so I said: "Thank you. I am sorry to have -troubled you, but I was so dreadfully thirsty, and the glass was out -of my reach." - -"No trouble," she replied kindly; "the only object of my being here -is to help people if I can. But why didn't you call to the nurse in -charge of this ward? She would have attended to you at once." - -"I did call to her more than half an hour ago by the clock," I -replied, "but I couldn't call loud enough to wake her." - -In consequence of my having drawn the Sister's attention to myself -directly she entered the room, she had not yet noticed that the nurse -was asleep. Now, however, she perceived it. A look of displeasure -came over her face, and she at once proceeded to wake the sleeper, -who was evidently much disconcerted at having been caught napping, -and started up with a great pretence of liveliness when she saw the -Sister standing by her. - -"This is against all rules, Nurse Mary, as you know very well," said -the Sister; "it is a serious offence for a nurse to sleep when on -duty, and I shall have to report you." - -"I knew it was very wrong, Sister, and I'm quite shocked that I -should have been so careless," replied the culprit. "But indeed you -mustn't think as there's any harm done. It was only five minutes back -as I was going about, and seeing as every one was all right; and then -I sat down and dropped off into a bit of a doze somehow. I wasn't -reg'larly asleep--only dozing so light that I should have heard -d'rectly if any one made a sound." - -"Don't make your fault worse by falsehood," said the Sister severely; -"I found the woman over there," pointing to me, "in great want of -something to drink; and she told me she had been thirsty for a long -time, and unable to wake you when she tried. You must attend to your -duty better than this. If I find you asleep again when I visit your -ward, you must expect to be dismissed." - -The Sister continued her rounds through the hospital to see that -everything was right; and as soon as she was gone the nurse came -towards me. I regarded her approach with awe. I saw by her face that -she did not feel particularly amiable towards the individual who had -been the means--however innocent--of procuring her a wigging; and as -a nurse has it in her power to make a patient very miserable if she -chooses, I was naturally dismayed at having been so unlucky as to -get into her black books. The desire which I felt at that moment to -ingratiate myself with her, if possible, was quite degrading; and -when she rebuked me sharply for having got part of one arm uncovered, -and told me not to do so again, I promised obedience with the most -servile meekness, though I was quite sure that there was no real harm -whatever in what I had done. My bedclothes were as tidy as need be; -but she pretended to think they wanted straightening, and twitched -them about in a vigorous and jerky manner which was not comfortable, -and kept me alarmed all the time lest I should be hurt. When she had -completed this unnecessary process, she left me alone, to my great -relief, and nothing short of the extremest necessity would have -induced me to recall her to my bed. I felt frightened, helpless, -and in the power of a person who had taken a dislike to me; and -the only comfort I had was to think that the Sister's protecting -influence would perhaps save me from anything more serious than -petty annoyances. But even petty annoyances are bad enough in all -conscience when one is as sick, weak, and miserable as I was then. - - - - - CHAPTER XI. - - IN HOSPITAL. - - -Certainly nursing is very far superior, now-a-days, to what it was in -the _régime_ of the untrained Sairey Gamp confraternity; but while -gladly recognising that fact, I am inclined to think that there is -still some room for improvement. For one thing, I doubt whether any -particular care is taken to impress upon nurses the important fact -that no two human beings are exactly the same; and that people's -characteristic peculiarities are never in greater need of being -studied and humoured, than when pain and sickness have weakened the -will and rendered the nerves unwontedly sensitive and irritable. If -this were insisted upon as it might be in the training of nurses, I -do not imagine it would be as common as it is to find them performing -their duties mechanically, and apparently regarding patients as -machines to be wound up, regulated, and treated according to fixed -principles applying to all alike, instead of as living men and women, -possessing widely-differing peculiarities of both mind and body. I -think that one or two of my own experiences whilst at the hospital -will show that there is some reason for this criticism. - -The prolonged thirst from which I had suffered, and the exertion -involved in my endeavour to relieve it, fatigued me greatly in -my enfeebled condition. Then came the mental wear and tear of -terror which I underwent during Nurse Mary's alarmingly vigorous -bedclothes-straightening process; and thus, what with one thing and -another, by the time she left me to myself again I felt completely -worn out, and anxious for nothing so much as sleep. In vain, however, -did I try to compose myself to slumber. I was feverish; I ached all -over; and, turn which way I would, I could get no ease. Each new -position that I tried seemed more uncomfortable than the last; and -though the cradle in which my broken leg was fixed prevented me -from moving far, yet within the narrow space to which I was thus -restricted, I kept shifting my place, and twisting to and fro -incessantly. - -Of course this restlessness was by no means conducive to my welfare; -and when the doctor visited me in the morning he pronounced me to be -in a very exhausted state, and said I was to have nourishment and -stimulants every two hours. - -I cannot say that I took kindly to the idea of being stuffed like -this; for I was so far from being hungry that my gorge rose at the -mere thought of food. And when the nurse who had succeeded Nurse Mary -in charge of the ward came up to me with a cup of broth in her hand, -I had about the same amount of inclination for it that fair Rosamond -may be supposed to have had for the potion presented to her by Queen -Eleanor. - -But I had fully made up my mind to get well as soon as possible, and -had the sense to know that I certainly could not recover without -eating, so I struggled to overcome the internal rising of which I was -conscious. Perhaps, too, the broth would tempt my appetite, so that -after I had got down a mouthful or so, I should find the aversion to -food pass away, and be able to go on eating easily. And thus resolved -to do my best to obey the doctor's orders, I took a sip out of the -cup. - -But the first taste was a shock to me. It was not in the least like -what I expected, somehow, though I was not just then clear-headed -enough to discover immediately what was wrong with it. I did not -believe it was broth at all; at all events, if it was, it was the -nastiest that I had ever tasted in my life. I could hardly swallow -even the small quantity I had taken; and as for getting down any more -of it--pah! the thing was impossible. My loathing for food became -more violent than ever, and I pushed away the cup feebly, saying: -"Take the nasty stuff away! I _can't_ eat it; and it'll only make me -sick to try." - -"Nasty indeed!" returned the nurse; "why, what better would you have -than beautiful chicking-broth like this? You can drink it well enough -if you like; it's only your fancy as you can't." - -"I don't think it beautiful at all," replied I; "indeed, indeed, it's -nasty. Do pray let me alone; perhaps I shall be hungrier by and by." - -"Rubbish!" she answered, again advancing the cup towards me; "its the -doctor's orders for you to be fed, and fed you shall be--even if I -have to drench you. Come now; down with it!" - -At this moment, when I was ruefully contemplating the broth and -wondering if it would be anyhow possible for me to gulp it down, the -Sister whom I had seen in the night came into the room. She was -general superintendent of the nursing all through the hospital, and -had a keen eye for anything amiss. My unhappy look at once attracted -her attention, and she came to us and asked the nurse what she was -giving me. - -"Chicking broth, with a tablespoon of whisky in it, Sister," -responded the woman; "that's what the doctor ordered for her. But -she's making as much fuss as if it was--I don't know what, and -declaring as it'll make her sick." - -"I can quite understand your objecting to eat," said the Sister, -addressing me gently; "people so often do when they're ill. But it's -the beginning is the great difficulty with them, and after that they -generally get on much better; I daresay you'll find it so if you try. -Or is broth a thing to which you have any special dislike? and do you -think you would fancy some other kind of food more?" - -"No; I like broth well enough in general," answered I, "and I _have_ -tried to eat what the nurse brought me. But I couldn't, indeed--it is -too nasty." - -"Well, suppose I see if _I_ can find anything the matter with it," -she said, taking the cup from the nurse. "Why! did you ask to have it -cold?" - -"No," replied I. - -"Did the doctor say it was to be given cold?" she inquired, turning -to the nurse. - -"He didn't say nothing one way or other," answered the latter; "and -as I had a jugful cold, ready by me, I just took and poured some into -the cup to give as it was--not thinking as it mattered." - -"Oh, but it does matter, very much," returned the Sister; "broth is -far nicer hot than cold. Go and warm this, and then see if the -patient doesn't find it easier to get down. And don't forget in -future that broth should always be given hot, unless there are -special orders to the contrary." - -Now surely the woman might have known that of herself, if she had -taken the trouble to think for a moment, and might have perceived -that cold chicken broth, with whisky in it, was a thing that no -ordinary human palate could be expected to relish. But no; the doctor -had not specified it was to be hot; she had some cold to hand; the -question of trying to make it palatable never entered her head; and -therefore, though the warming would have been but very little -trouble, she just brought it me as it was. In that condition I doubt -whether I could possibly have eaten it; when warmed, however, I was -able to get through the requisite portion--though even then not -without considerable difficulty, in consequence of my aversion to -food of any kind. - -Thus a second time was the conviction forced upon me that the -existence in the world of Sisters might perhaps not be so altogether -devoid of utility as I had previously imagined. - -I daresay the food did me good; but yet it did not procure me the -rest for which I craved, and I had to endure hours more of miserable -tossing about before my weary body at last hit upon the posture which -would best accommodate its numerous aches and bruises. With a sigh of -satisfaction I gave myself up to repose, intending not to stir hand -or foot as long as I remained comfortable, lest, if I once lost the -position which had been so hard to find, I might not again succeed in -discovering it. Soon a delicious sense of drowsiness stole over me, -and I was on the point of falling sound asleep, when I was aroused by -the voice of a nurse, telling me it was time to feed again. If my -repugnance to eating had made all the previous feeding-times during -the day objectionable to me, it may be imagined that the present -summons was doubly odious, coming at the very moment when I could not -bear the idea of stirring so much as a hair's-breadth from where I -lay, and would have given the world to be left in peace. Dismayed -at the prospect of immediate movement, and loath to be parted from -the long-sought rest which I had at length attained, I appealed -for a reprieve--however brief. I was so _very_ tired of being -uncomfortable, I said. I had had such a weary tossing about all night -and all day till now. And now that I had at last found some comfort, -might not I stay as I was for just five minutes more? - -But the nurse would not hear of such a thing. The doctor's orders, -she said, were for me to have food every two hours. The last time had -been at 1.25--there it was marked on the slate by the bed--and now it -was 3.25. Her business was to obey the doctor's orders exactly; and I -must just take what she had brought me that instant, and make no more -fuss about it. - -So my appeal was disregarded, and I was, then and there, ruthlessly -routed up to be fed. And as my nervous system was by no means robust -enough at that moment to bear the shock of any abrupt disturbance, I -immediately afterwards relapsed into the same state of miserable, -feverish restlessness as before. - -Now, though it seems unreasonable to blame any one for strict -obedience to orders, yet I think in a case like this the woman might -well have departed from them so far as to grant the five minutes -delay for which I pleaded. It would have softened the blow to have -time to make up my mind gradually to the moving which I dreaded; and -I think her own sense might have told her that I was in a condition -when rest was essential, and when everything unpleasant should be -smoothed over to me as much as possible. But though she was not -wilfully harsh or unkind, yet the advisability of making small -concessions to an invalid's weakness--fancifulness, as _she_ called -it--never entered her head. All she thought of was that she was there -to carry out the doctor's orders, and that provided they were obeyed -to the letter, come what might, she would have nothing to reproach -herself with. As for the idea of there being any special necessity -for a nurse to be quick in reading, understanding, and making -allowances for the fancies, infirmities, and idiosyncrasies of human -nature, because she is professionally brought into constant contact -with it when in its greatest need of sympathy--why, I do not suppose -such a notion had ever occurred to her. But might it not have formed -a part of her professional education? - -I hope that my criticisms will not be misunderstood. If I venture to -point out defects which seem to me remediable, it does not therefore -follow that I fail to do justice to the enormous benefits which we -derive from trained nurses. On the contrary, when I look back upon my -sojourn at the hospital, I feel grateful for and astonished at the -punctilious care and attention which was shown towards a mere -friendless, helpless, unknown nobody such as I was, from whom no -return could be expected. It may be that I have known nurses act -hastily under provocation; that I think them apt to be hard, because -too mechanical; and that I doubt whether they always bring their -brains to bear as much as might be on the performance of their duty. -But none the less do I believe that they are, as a body, a thoroughly -conscientious, well-meaning, and valuable set of women; and that a -nurse who behaves with deliberate cruelty, or wantonly neglects a -patient, is hardly ever to be met with. - -In speaking well, however, of the hospital attendants and the -treatment I received from them, I must except Nurse Mary. She was a -careless, good-for-nothing nurse, unfit for her post, constantly -asleep on duty, bad tempered to the patients, and quite regardless of -truth in what she said. I was unfortunate enough to be an especial -object of her animosity, because she had been reprimanded and fined -for her neglect of me and false excuses on the night when I had first -become acquainted with her. As it had been on account of me that she -had got into hot water, she took a dislike to me then and there, -and took advantage of our relative positions to make me feel her -displeasure. A nurse has plenty of opportunities for thwarting, -bullying, and inflicting small miseries on a patient; and Nurse Mary -always availed herself of these opportunities as freely as she dared. -Whatever she had to do for me was sure to be done as roughly and -disagreeably as possible, and I looked forward with dread to the -periods when the ward I inhabited was under her charge. - -Unluckily for me, it was on one of these occasions that it fell to my -lot to have to take a dose of castor oil. Now, that is a physic to -which I have always had an intense antipathy. The mere smell of it -makes me feel qualmy, even at the best of times; and it stood to -reason that I should dislike it ten times more when my stomach was in -an unusually squeamish condition, so that I found it difficult to eat -even food that I liked. Hence I looked forward to the impending dose -with much trepidation, and reflected anxiously on the probability of -my being unable to keep down the nauseous stuff, even when swallowed. -It would evidently be a help to avoid having the nasty smell -beforehand if possible, as I knew that would make me feel poorly to -start with; so I asked Nurse Mary if she would mind pouring out the -oil at some distance off and not bringing it to my bedside till all -ready to be taken. - -She refused roughly, saying she had no time to be bothered with all -kinds of fads and whims like that; and, instead of trying to spare me -any preliminary unpleasantness, she measured out the dose quite close -to my nose, so as to give me a full benefit of the odour. It seemed -to me, too, that she was purposely slow in her proceedings, and kept -the bottle uncorked for a most needless length of time--but that may -possibly have only been my excited fancy. - -The oil having been poured into a glass with water in it, I was sat -up in bed, the glass was put into my hands, and I raised it towards -my mouth. Being already qualmy from the effect of the smell, and -very nervous lest I should be actually sick, I was altogether in an -unsteady condition; and just before the glass had touched my lips, an -involuntary convulsive shiver of disgust that came over me made me -for the moment unable to control my muscles. My shaky hand lost its -grasp of the glass, which toppled over, and spilled all the contents -over me and the bed. - -The nurse was as indignant at this catastrophe as if I had done it -on purpose. She had not the least pity for the horrible plight I was -in, nor did it seem to occur to her how improbable it was for any -human being to bring him or herself into such a state willingly. -"Troublesome, mischievous, awkward, careless, stupid," were the -kindest and least offensive words she uttered whilst preparing a -fresh jorum of oil. As for me, I simply endured existence in silent -misery as best I could whilst the second dose was being got ready. -All I wanted was to take that, and get it over as quickly as -possible, so that everything which the filthy oil had contaminated -might be removed, and I might be washed, and made sweet, dry, and -comfortable again. - -When the draught was presented to me, I made a heroic effort, flung -it down my throat, and returned the empty glass, murmuring faintly: -"Oh please, _do_ make haste to rid me of all this mess!" But what was -my dismay to find that she had no intention of doing anything of the -kind! Since I had chosen to spill the oil, she said, I might just -stop in it and see how I liked it; and perhaps that would teach -me not to play tricks of that kind again. What? fetch a clean -night-dress and sheet, and a sponge to wipe my face and chest! Not -she, indeed! She had plenty of other work to do without extras of -that kind; and she had not time to stop worritting with me any -longer--I had delayed her quite long enough, as it was. So saying, -she coolly walked away, and left me helpless in a sort of castor-oil -purgatory. - -My misery may be imagined. The cold, clammy, wet linen chilled me; -every movement risked bringing me in fresh contact with the loathsome -stuff, which I could not touch without a shudder; and the surrounding -air was impregnated with its abominable smell. I would have done -anything to escape; and if my leg had not been fixed in the cradle, I -believe I should have rolled out of bed on to the floor, and as far -away as I could go from the hateful spot. But I was powerless to do -that, or to lessen my wretchedness by any other means; for I was not -strong enough even to pull off my night-dress unaided, nor yet to -fold back the wet part of the sheet, and shove it away to the far end -of the bed. - -Nor was this all I had to suffer; for the smell made my qualminess -increase every minute, and I foresaw with dismay that being sick -would probably involve a repetition of the dose. - -Oh, why could not I escape from this abominable odour? and could I -anyhow manage to avoid the consequences with which it threatened me? -I remembered having heard it said that sickness may sometimes be -checked by a strong effort of will. Let me see if mine would help me -in this emergency. I told myself resolutely that the unpleasant -sensations which I felt were purely imaginary, and that I need not -give way to them unless I chose. And then I tried to turn my mind to -various agreeable and interesting subjects, such as Kitty; Mrs. -Torwood's dogs; my plan for being revenged on my stepmother, and how -I would complete it as soon as I was well again;--anything under the -sun to take my thoughts off from this beastly oil! But it was no use. -The qualmy sensation forced itself to the front in spite of all I -could do; I felt that the dreaded climax was a mere matter of time, -and lay awaiting it in terror with my eyes shut. Suddenly I heard -some one say: "What a smell of castor oil! Where does it come from?" - -The speaker's nose naturally answered this question, and on opening -my eyes I saw the good Sister approaching me. This sight gave me a -ray of hope that I might still be saved, and she seemed to me to be a -very guardian angel. Never would I have believed that the quaint -dress which I had often laughed at and considered ugly, obtrusive, -and absurd, could have appeared to my eyes so lovely and acceptable -as it did at that moment! - -She perceived at a glance that the case was urgent, and went to work -to relieve me without an instant's delay. Instead of stopping to ask -questions (which would have been a needless prolongation of my -sufferings) as to how I came to be in such an oily plight, she -immediately despatched the nurse to fetch clean things, and herself -brought some strong aromatic vinegar and held it to my nose. This -neutralised the smell of the oil, revived me, and enabled me to -conquer the feeling of nausea. Her timely aid averted the catastrophe -I had been dreading, and in a wonderfully short space I enjoyed the -felicity of feeling myself purified, and restored to a dry, sweet, -and comfortable condition. Not till this had been accomplished did -she seem to think of anything else. But then she proceeded to -inquire how I had come to be in the state in which she had found me, -and to take the nurse to task for having left me so. - -The delinquent tried to excuse herself by saying that she had been -so exceedingly busy that she had had no choice about leaving me to go -and attend to some one else. Besides that, she added spitefully, the -accident had been all my own doing, for I had deliberately upset the -glass out of mischief. - -I was commencing an indignant denial of this falsehood when the -Sister interrupted me. She said it was quite immaterial whether the -glass had been overturned by accident or not, as there were no -circumstances which could justify a nurse for letting a patient -remain an instant longer than could be helped in such a state as I -had been in--all in a mess, and in wet things that might cause a -chill. The alleged press of business was no excuse either; for all -the nurses knew perfectly well that they were to ask for assistance -if they had too much to do, but were on no account to neglect a -patient. She was extremely displeased at Nurse Mary's conduct, and -proceeded to rebuke her sharply. - -Considering the barbarity with which that nurse had just been -behaving to me, it will not be wondered at that to hear her being -scolded gave me a sensation of acute satisfaction. - -But my gratification was speedily diminished as I recollected that -she would probably object to me more than ever, now that I had again -been the unlucky means of getting her into a scrape. I was filled -with alarm at the idea. If she had bullied me hitherto, what was she -likely to do in the future? And what chance had I of defending -myself from her malice? I would confide my troubles to the Sister who -had already befriended me so often, and ask her to take care of me, I -thought. Only I must mind not to let the nurse suspect that I was -complaining of her, or she would be still angrier than before with -me. I would wait till her turn of duty was over, and some other nurse -had taken her place. - -After the next change of nurses, therefore, I watched anxiously for -the Sister to appear in our ward. At last she arrived there, and I -made signs to her to come to my bedside. Then, whispering in a very -low voice, so that no one else should hear and report what I said to -my enemy, I begged her to protect me from Nurse Mary, who hated me, -and treated me so badly that I was afraid of her. - -"In what way, and on what occasions, have you been treated badly?" -asked the Sister. - -It was a most natural question to ask, but it was one that I was -puzzled to answer satisfactorily. Though perfectly convinced that I -needed to be defended, yet when I began recalling to mind (in order -to tell the Sister) the numerous trifling persecutions to which I -had been subjected, I found it was by no means easy to discover any -grievance that seemed important and tangible enough to take hold of -and bring forward in support of my assertions, except the recent -castor oil affair, and that she knew of already. I could not -recollect anything else that seemed worth erecting into a formal -accusation, so I only answered that I could not think of any -particular case to mention just then, but that indeed what I had said -was true, that the nurse was unkind to me always, and that I was -afraid to see her come near me. - -"Oh, if that is all," replied the Sister kindly, "I should hope your -fears have no real foundation; probably you have taken into your head -one of those prejudices that people are very apt to have when they -are ill; you must try and get over it, instead of indulging it. But, -in any case, you may be sure that I am looking after you, and will -see that no one hurts you, so don't alarm yourself about it." - -Though she spoke cheerfully and pleasantly, yet still I did not -consider my complaint had met with a very encouraging reception; and -I was desperately afraid that what I had said would be altogether -forgotten, and I should be no better off than before. But she was a -person who never turned a deaf ear to any cry for help; and I soon -saw that my appeal had not passed unheeded, and that--whether -she believed me to be mistaken or not--from that time forth her -protecting wing overshadowed me with especial closeness (yet not so -ostensibly as to make the fact generally conspicuous) when my enemy -was in command of the ward. Not only did the Sister take to coming in -and out with extra frequency at these times, but I could perceive -also that I was then sure to receive a larger share of her attention -than I did on other occasions. And as this kindly, unobtrusive, -vigilance made it impossible for me to be made to suffer seriously -without her discovering it, my peace of mind was gradually restored. - -Thus, thanks to the restraining presence of the Sister, Nurse Mary -could not make me as miserable as she would evidently have liked to -do; but I know very well that I should have been sadly at her mercy -if the Sister had _not_ been there to look after me, for to appeal to -the doctor would almost certainly have been worse than useless. I -have known people rash enough to do that when they were dissatisfied -with their nurses, and the result of their appeals was invariably the -same. That is to say, the patient was pooh-poohed with more or less -politeness, according to the disposition of the doctor; no attempt -was made to investigate the truth of the complaint, and things went -on exactly as before, except that the nurses certainly did not -increase in amiability towards the individuals who had presumed to -find fault with them. - -I must say, I think it would be in the interests of the sick, if, in -both private and public cases, the doctors would beware of the blind -confidence which they, as a rule, are inclined to repose in nurses. -My experience is, that if a patient complains of his nurse to the -doctor for neglect, roughness, or any other fault, she is apt either -to relate what took place so as make it appear that she could not -possibly have acted otherwise than she did; or else to deny the -charge absolutely; or else to say, with affected compassion, that the -poor fellow sometimes wanders in his mind and does not know things -rightly, so that it is useless to think of attending to all he says. -And the doctor invariably accepts her version as the true one, and -takes it for granted that she is all right, and there is no necessity -for his interference. - -That a doctor should trust much to a nurse is only natural, seeing -that there are cases in illness where as much depends upon her as -upon him--perhaps even more. But her importance does not make her -infallible; and though it is all very well to have confidence in her, -yet it is carrying confidence to excess to make it a rule _always_ to -think her word better than that of her patient. If a sick person's -account of his symptoms differed materially from that given by the -nurse, I suppose the doctor would hardly think it wise totally to -ignore what had been told him by the former, and to act solely upon -the information received from the latter. And ought not the same rule -to apply to other statements also? - - - - - CHAPTER XII. - - SISTER HELENA. - - -My progress towards restored health was but slow; and poor I--an -individual who had always regarded with mortal aversion confinement -and monotony in every shape--was forced to undergo the tedium of a -protracted illness and convalescence. Terribly weary did I get of the -long days and nights as they dragged on without bringing anything to -amuse me, and to enliven the dulness of existence. Other patients had -friends and acquaintances who came to see them on visiting days, but -I had not even that mild excitement to look forward to, for I was -utterly solitary and unknown. Unluckily, too, the literary resources -of the place were but limited. For though there was a so-called -library yet its stock of books was lamentably small, and, as it -seemed to me, uninteresting. And though odd numbers of old magazines -and newspapers would drop in upon us at intervals, yet their -appearance was nothing like as regular and frequent as I should have -liked, or as I think it would have been if benevolently disposed -people had realised what a boon it is to many hospital patients to -know something of what goes on in the outside world from which they -are excluded. - -My mind, then, having but few distractions, was all the more ready -to occupy itself with whatever person or thing happened to come -prominently before it. And thus I found myself continually engaged -in studying and thinking about the Sister, who, for the time being, -filled a position of conspicuous importance in my life, as a sort of -guardian angel in whom I felt a serene confidence that she would see -I was never seriously wronged or ill-used in any way. - -She was the first Sister with whom I had ever come in contact, -and, by my acquaintance with her, the prejudice I had previously -entertained against all sisters was speedily swept away. Sister -Helena, as she was called, must, I think, have been between thirty -and thirty-five years old, and was tall and graceful in figure. She -had handsome features; a high broad forehead; a keen eye that seemed -to notice everything within its range; a square chin, and a firm -mouth; and no one who saw her could doubt that she possessed both -power and intelligence above the average. Her face was pale, and her -expression--except when she smiled--grave to the verge of austerity. -But it was the gravity of thoughtfulness, not of gloom and sadness; -and whatever tendency to austerity she may have had was reserved -exclusively for herself. Most certainly it was never visible in her -behaviour to the sick; for she always showed them the kindliest -sympathy and tenderness, devoting herself to them absolutely, and -treating them with a loving gentleness and tenderness that was enough -to make one suppose they were her dearest friends. - -As she was general superintendent of the hospital-nursing and -arrangements for the relief of the sick, she had usually too much -to do with looking after her subordinates and seeing that they did -their duty, to be able to officiate in person as nurse. But she -was thoroughly capable of doing so in case of need, and whenever -circumstances happened to make it necessary for her to bandage, sew -up, or dress wounds, or perform any other services of the kind for -patients, she was sure to do whatever was required as gently, -skilfully, and efficiently as any one--or indeed more so. - -One very marked distinction between her and the ordinary professional -nurses was, that she was unmistakably a lady by birth, and possessed -naturally--without effort or thinking about it--the subtle charm of -refinement. I--who had fondly imagined myself to be superior to the -influence of any sentimental vanity of that kind--was astonished and -disappointed to find how quickly I detected this in her, and how -attractive it was to me. I could not disguise from myself that I was -highly susceptible to the charm to which I had believed I was -indifferent; and that it was infinitely preferable to me to have to -do with the person in whom I instinctively recognised an equal than -with those who were inferiors. Refined associates were more congenial -to me than vulgar ones, in spite of all my knocking about; and even -though provoked at my own folly, I sometimes could not repress a sigh -to think that I had left my own rank of life in favour of a lower -one. - -Well; the more I observed and thought about Sister Helena, the more -did I wonder what her previous history could have been. Here was a -woman, evidently well born and bred, good-looking, below middle age, -clever, amiable, sensible, capable, and in every way qualified to -make her mark and be popular in society. Why on earth, then, should -she be spending her existence in hard work amongst the painful sights -and scenes of a hospital, instead of enjoying herself in the sphere -to which she belonged naturally? For the fact that she was at the -hospital I was profoundly thankful, because I was myself a gainer by -it; but none the less was it an inexplicable mystery to me, and one -which I was constantly endeavouring to find plausible theories to -account for. - -As, therefore, I was intensely curious about her, admired, liked, and -was grateful to her, and through her could enjoy the, to me, pleasant -feeling of association with a cultivated and refined lady, it -followed naturally that I sought eagerly for opportunities of having -to do with her, and never failed to profit by any excuse for making -her occupy herself about me. The pleasure her company gave me was too -evident to escape her quick observation, and when she perceived it -her kindness of heart prompted her to gratify my wishes as far as -might be; for she was one of those to whom nobody ever held out their -hands in vain. Therefore, though her multifarious avocations made it -impossible, as a rule, for her to bestow much individual attention -on any particular person whose case was not so critical and special -as to give it precedence over ordinary business, yet she would -always--unless in a _very_ great hurry--stop and say a kind word to -me in passing through the ward; and sometimes, on the rare occasions -when she had a few minutes to spare, she would even come in on -purpose to chat with me. I do not know whether or not she had the -same intuitive consciousness that I had of our both belonging to the -same social order; but, at all events, there sprung up between us by -degrees an intimacy beyond that which is ordinarily produced by the -relations of nurse and patient. - -As it was not in her nature to see any kind of suffering without -trying to relieve it, she tried to hit upon some means of varying -the unchanging sameness of life by which she perceived me to be -oppressed. It was not possible to do much for me in this way whilst I -was tied by the leg in bed, but when at last I was able to get up and -crawl about a little with the help of sticks, she asked me if I -thought I could get as far as her room, which was on the same floor -as the ward, and only a short distance from it. On my replying in -the affirmative, she filled me with delight by inviting me to go and -have tea there with her that afternoon. Oh how impatiently I counted -the minutes till tea-time came! and how welcome and refreshing was -the change to her room from the dreary old ward of which I was so -tired! - -From that date our intimacy advanced much more rapidly than before; -for, as she saw how I enjoyed the visit to her room, hardly a day -passed on which I was not invited there at some time or other. It -was not often that she was able to be with me all the time, for she -was almost always called off elsewhere on business. But when this -happened she did not expect me to go back to the ward unless I chose, -and if I preferred--as I invariably did--to stay where I was, and -amuse myself with books, work, or my own thoughts whilst awaiting her -return, I was at liberty to do so. Indeed, if she had not been -willing to trust me in her room without her, it would generally not -have been worth while my going there at all; for the demands upon her -time were perpetual, and she hardly ever had any leisure. It was -Sister here and Sister there from morning till night; and, as far as -I could see, she had not a single minute in the day which she could -call her own, and reckon on as secure from interruption. - -I have already said that one object which I had had for desiring to -know her was, that I wanted to learn her past history, wherein I -believed must lie some mysterious reason which had caused her to -adopt her present hard, untempting, self-denying life. But as our -acquaintance progressed and I came to know her more and more, I -perceived with surprise that there was no hidden mystery at all about -the matter, and that instead of any thrilling romance or tragedy such -as I had imagined, the reason for her life was simply the love of -God, and desire to serve Him in the best way she could. That was the -sole motive for every deed, word, and thought of hers--the one -compass by which her course was steered. - -The reason why this discovery amazed me as it did was, that I had -never dreamt of its being possible for any one with respectable -mental abilities to take religion thus _au grand sérieux_. I -cannot say I had ever troubled my head much about religion at all; -but still I had a vague idea of it as a thing which people of weak -intellect sometimes made a fuss about, but which the wiser part of -the world treated as a mere unreal conventionality--a sort of outer -garment which was assumed and respected solely out of deference to -Mrs. Grundy. - -It was startling to me, therefore, to meet with such a living -contradiction of this idea as Sister Helena. She was no fool, as I -knew, but very much the reverse; and in her management of the -hospital she gave daily proofs of good sense, shrewdness, and sound -judgment, which made it impossible to think she would be led away by -visionary notions, or act lightly and without due consideration. Nor -was she a person who ever bestowed a thought upon Mrs. Grundy, or who -could be suspected of any taint of humbug and unreality in either -word or deed. Yet to this sensible, intelligent, absolutely honest -woman, religion was a fact of such vital importance as to be the -mainspring of her life--the one thing to be put before everything -else! So extraordinary did it seem to me, that I should certainly -have refused to believe in the phenomenon at all if I had not beheld -it with my own eyes. - -It appeared evident to me that it must need a very powerful engine -to be the motive force of such steady, self-sacrificing, practical -goodness as hers, and I thought I should like to understand somewhat -of the nature of that engine. With this object in view I directed -constant questions towards the subject that interested me, and -thus it came about that religion was the theme upon which we -conversed more frequently than any other. I do not recapitulate our -conversations, because I consider they would be out of place in a -book of this kind; but this much I will say, that they made a strong -impression on me, and caused me to think of religion very differently -from what I had done hitherto. She was the first person I had ever -met whose deeds really harmonised with her professions, and all that -she said had weight with me, because her life was an unmistakable -proof that she honestly and fully did believe the things she -professed to believe. I began to contemplate the possibility of there -being a real meaning in the creeds and prayers which I had often -heard and joined in when at church without attaching any sense at all -to them. I began, too, to have an idea that perhaps church membership -might be something more than a mere empty form, and that there might -be some real advantage in belonging to that Church of which I had -been a member all my life as a matter of course, and without ever -supposing it could make the slightest difference to me, one way or -other. And, more than all, in proportion as I became inclined to -believe in the truth and reality of religion, so also did the -conviction grow upon me that I myself was not exactly altogether what -I should be, and that it behoved me to set about reforming. - -I really did want to amend what was amiss, and to become better than -I was; but still I did not want to be _too_ good. Such goodness as -Sister Helena's, for instance, was, I knew, far beyond my powers; and -besides that, my hearty admiration for it in her did not lead me to -desire it for myself, because I was quite sure that even if it -were possible for me to attain to such a pitch of self-denying -excellence, I should not enjoy it, as I was a deal too fond of -worldly comforts and joys ever to be happy without them. - -Certainly it was very singular that there should be so wide a -difference between one person's sense of duty and another's. When -first this difference struck me, I was inclined to be somewhat uneasy -at the comparatively diminutive proportions of my own virtue; but -then there occurred to me a very comfortable and reassuring way of -accounting for it. People's bodies were predisposed towards measles, -whooping cough, and other illnesses in varying degrees, and had them -lightly or severely according to the extent of that predisposition; -and some people even never had these illnesses at all--being -apparently endowed with some constitutional peculiarity which acted -as an antidote to the poison of disease. And from this I argued that -probably people's minds varied in a similar fashion in regard to -virtue--some being more, and some less receptive of it. I supposed -that a person could only be affected by religion and goodness -according to the degree of his mental predisposition towards such -things, and that some people could never be influenced by them at -all. I thought this supposition a perfectly reasonable one, and -highly satisfactory also. For in that case it was obviously absurd to -expect much goodness from a person whose mind was so constituted as -to be antagonistic to virtuous influences; and of course no one could -be blamed for what was merely a natural defect. - -I propounded my theory triumphantly to Sister Helena one day when -she was insisting upon the necessity of some virtue or other which I -thought ordinary mortals need not trouble themselves about. But she -refused absolutely to agree with me; declared that goodness was -equally attainable by all who chose; and laughed at the idea of -people having a natural liability towards or against it, like they -might have towards or against a fever. - -"All very well for you to talk," answered I; "but I should like to -know how else it's to be accounted for that some people should be so -much better than others as to become sisters, monks, and nuns, and -all that sort of thing? I'm sure it must need a very special and -uncommon predisposition towards goodness to make any one give up -every mortal thing that can make them happy--as they do!" - -"Not at all," she replied quickly; "you'll find good and earnest -people in the world, just as much as in convents. It's a question of -vocation--not of superior goodness. Some people have such a natural -inclination for a conventual life that they are happier there than -they would be in the world; and some people, on the other hand, are -happier in the world. Each set seeks happiness in its own way. And -for any one to join a religious community without having a real -vocation for it is a very great mistake, and not a good or desirable -thing at all." - -"Well, then," said I, "you believe that people are born monks and -nuns, just as they are born poets, painters, musicians, or sculptors. -_Nascitur non fit_. After all, I don't see that that's so very unlike -my predisposition theory." - -"Why, there's this great difference," she said smiling; "according to -_you_, some people would have no chance of goodness at all; and _I_ -maintain, on the contrary, that every one has an equal chance. -Goodness certainly _manifests_ itself differently in different -individuals; but you can't argue from that that it _exists_ in them -in different degrees. Remember that it is no great hardship for a -person who doesn't care for society to give it up; and that you -mustn't judge the merit of an action by its effects, but by how much -it costs the doer." - -And then a knock at the door, and an urgent request for the Sister -to go and see after something or other immediately, terminated our -conversation abruptly as usual; and I remained alone, musing on the -fresh proof I had just received of the erroneousness of my original -ideas regarding Sisters. Never for an instant had I doubted that they -enjoyed--whether legitimately or not--a profound sense of superiority -to the general run of humanity; and now that my old prejudice against -them was overcome, I had arrived at the conclusion that, as they -really _were_ immeasurably better than the rest of the world (judging -by Sister Helena), they had a perfect right to pique themselves -thereon. Yet, instead of that, Sister Helena had not only refused to -acquiesce in my ascription of honour and glory to them, but had -argued with evident sincerity to prove that there was no special -merit whatever in being a Sister! If _I_ had been one, I should not -have thought anything of the sort, I knew very well. - -As the spark latent in flint needs a blow to bring it out, so, I -suppose, whatever capacity I possessed for faith and virtue must have -lain dormant in me till quickened to life by Sister Helena. They are -elements which cannot possibly begin to mix actively in any one's -existence without producing a commotion in that person's previous -ways of going on, and so I soon found myself sorely troubled in -mind respecting my uncompleted project for being revenged upon my -step-mother. Up to the present time I had only disquieted her with -threatening letters, and had not yet arrived at the finishing touch -of making known her humble origin to her husband and her friends. -That had necessarily been deferred by my being laid up in hospital; -but I had not given it up for a moment, and had meant that the -execution of my threats against her should be one of the first things -I would do when I should be able to get about again. In my opinion -she richly deserved punishment for the undutifulness to her mother, -ingratitude to her step-father, absurd vanity, and bad behaviour -in general, of which she had been guilty. And as my own personal -enmity for her gave me an especial willingness to be the instrument -whereby justice was to overtake her, I looked forward with extreme -satisfaction to the completion of my scheme, and regarded it as a -most righteous and proper proceeding. - -All of a sudden, however, this pleasant prospect was disturbed by my -newly awakened conscience insisting on taking a very different view -of the matter, and declaring that as forgiveness was a duty and -revenge was wrong, therefore I ought to give up the intention that I -was cherishing. I opposed this conviction--struggled, argued, and -tried to evade the conclusion that was so distasteful to me. But it -was no use; conscience was too strong, and stuck firmly to its point, -till I was forced, at last, reluctantly to abandon my beloved scheme. - -So far, therefore, virtue was victorious; but its power did not -extend far enough to prevent my regretting bitterly that I had not -fully accomplished my designs against Lady Trecastle before any new -ideas had come to interfere. Since conscience declared positively -that I ought to overcome the old grudge which I bore her, I should -have to do so; but it would now be a hard matter to accomplish, -whereas I was sure that I could have done it sweetly and with hardly -any effort at all, if only I had had the satisfaction of feeling that -my plan of revenge had been carried out fully. For forgiveness is a -duty whose performance is marvellously facilitated by the knowledge -that the offender has had to suffer in some way or other for his -wrongdoing. - -I was quite in earnest about desiring to be true to such light as I -had arrived at, and therefore did not exactly wish to return to my -previous unenlightened condition. Yet I sighed as it dawned upon my -mind that these new ideas might involve new restraints, and that -perhaps henceforth I should be less my own mistress than before. - -It would be so much easier to take to religion if it did not seem -likely to deprive me of freedom, thought I, ruefully. - - - - - CHAPTER XIII. - - A CATASTROPHE. - - -At last I was pronounced fit to be discharged from the hospital, and -on the morrow I was to depart. I was still far from strong enough to -think of undertaking any employment involving hard work and exertion; -and how to keep from starving when once more turned adrift to earn my -own livelihood was a problem which I should have been puzzled to -solve if left to myself. Sister Helena, however, had come to my aid, -and procured me a light place as assistant to the owner of a small -newspaper-shop, who, on account of advancing years, wanted extra help -and was willing to engage me on her recommendation. Thus was added -another to the many benefits for which I was already indebted to that -excellent woman, whose life was one long series of acts of kindness -done, without thought of return, for whoever was in need. No wonder -that I had learnt to admire, love, trust, and look up to her as -though she had belonged to some higher order of beings! For she was -certainly immeasurably superior to any other of the human race with -whom I had ever been acquainted. - -My last day, then, in hospital had arrived. The desire to have a -farewell talk with the Sister in peace and comfort had made me ask -her if she could not manage that we should have a quiet half-hour -together for once, without any of the tiresome interruptions by which -our conversations were usually cut short. She had said it was -impossible for her to promise such a thing certainly, as it must -depend on what work had to be done; but that she would do her best to -arrange matters as I wished, and if successful would come and fetch -me to her room when she was at leisure. All day, therefore, did I -hope for the expected summons, and was greatly disappointed as hour -after hour passed on without my seeing or hearing anything of her. -At last, quite late in the evening, she entered the ward looking -unusually fagged, and came and sat down by me. - -"I've been so sorry not to be able to come for you as I'd hoped," -she said kindly, "but you know business _must_ have precedence of -everything else, and I was kept so unexpectedly long with one case -that all my arrangements were upset. It was a man who was brought in -yesterday with a couple of slight scalp wounds that had to be sewn -up, and who didn't seem to have much the matter with him. But twice -to-day he got so odd that there was a doubt whether he was not going -out of his mind; and I stayed with him to see whether he was or not. -If he had been, and if he had become violent, it would have been an -awkward job to manage him, for he's immensely powerful. I never saw -any one so extraordinarily sensitive to loud sounds and commotion of -any kind as he seems to be. There was an unusually loud noise going -on both times when his oddness came on, and as the noise diminished -so did he calm down again. I'm sure he has a highly irritable nervous -system, which is excited to an almost ungovernable pitch by any fuss, -and can then only be pacified by perfect tranquillity." - -"Is he all right now?" I asked. - -"Yes, I hope so. The unfavourable symptoms didn't return, and the -doctor thought him going on quite satisfactorily. But I stayed with -the man a long time, because it was so important for him to be -watched attentively whilst we were uncertain about his sanity, that I -did not like to leave the responsibility to any one else. Then, when -I could trust him to a nurse alone, I had such an accumulation of -work to get through that I've been hard at it ever since, and not had -a moment to myself till now; so you see I had no choice about giving -up the quiet talk with you that we had proposed having. I'm on my way -back to him now, as I want to hear the nurse's account of him during -my absence." - -"Humph!" grunted I, feeling that I need not fear saying what I -thought, now that I was on the verge of quitting the hospital; "you -won't be much the wiser for that, if it's Nurse Mary that's looking -after him. If you knew her as well as I do, and knew how sleepy she -is, how constantly she neglects her business, and what a wonderful -facility she has for inventing false excuses when she's blamed, you'd -never believe a word she tells you." - -"It wasn't her I left him with, but one of the others," replied the -Sister. "To tell you the truth, I should not have trusted such a case -as that in her hands alone. For though I don't think quite so badly -of her as you do, yet still I am by no means satisfied with her. You -are not the only patient who has, either directly or indirectly, -intimated she is not what she should be; and I have myself noticed -things tending to confirm these complaints." - -"Why don't you get rid of her, then, when you yourself allow that -you've no confidence in her?" asked I. - -The Sister hesitated a moment, and then answered: "Had the matter -rested solely with me, I believe I should very likely have done so. -But when I told the authorities what I thought of her, the doctor -took her part so strongly that nothing came of it. He declared that -he saw no reason whatever to be dissatisfied with her; and that sick -people were always so fanciful, exacting, and peevish, that it was -ridiculous to take any notice of their imaginary grievances. And as -he was quite positive of being right, whilst I spoke more from -suspicion than actual knowledge of the woman's behaviour, he carried -the day. Perhaps it's as well so after all. To dismiss her would very -possibly have ruined her professional prospects; and I should never -forgive myself if I thought I had been the means of inflicting so -severe a penalty on any one without sufficient cause." - -"Oh Sister!" exclaimed I, abruptly; "is that the man you were talking -of?" - -In order to enable my readers to understand what ensued, I must delay -my narrative for a moment to explain how we were all placed. - -Sister Helena and I were sitting at a table about the middle of a -very long room, having a door at each end, and beds ranged down both -sides. In the bed nearest to us was a poor woman who had been badly -burnt in an explosion; and by her side stood the nurse of the ward, -employed in changing the dressings of the burns. I was the only -patient who was still up and dressed; the rest were in bed, and one -or two of them already asleep. They were all women who had been -injured severely in some way or other; and as I, though well enough -to be discharged from the hospital, was still extremely weak after my -long illness, it will be seen that Sister Helena and the nurse were -the only two able-bodied individuals in the ward. - -The cause of the exclamation I had uttered was this. I--who -was facing one of the doors towards which the Sister had her -back--suddenly saw that door pushed partially open, and a man's head -poked in as though for the purpose of reconnoitring. After a hasty -survey the owner followed his head quickly into the room, closed the -door cautiously behind him, executed a fantastic pirouette, advanced -a yard or so in a kind of polka-step, came to a stand-still by -a chair near the door, and commenced bowing and smiling with -extravagant gestures. On his shoulder he carried an implement used -for breaking and piercing ice, which was rather like a hammer, with a -sharp, triangular, steel spike at one end of the head. He was big, -broad-shouldered, and muscular; his head was bound up in bandages; -and he was clad in shirt, trousers, and socks. In consequence -of having no shoes on, his movements were noiseless; and this -noiselessness considerably enhanced the uncanny and startling effect -produced by the sudden appearance amongst us of so strange a figure, -demeaning itself in so eccentric a manner. - -Sister Helena looked round at my exclamation, and a momentary -expression of horror crossed her face, and showed me that my -conjecture had been right, and that our visitor was the man of whom -she had been speaking. But that one transient look of horror was -the only sign of nervousness she gave, and she did not lose her -self-possession and composure for an instant. "Yes," she answered me -quietly, turning towards the nurse who, as I have said, was employed -not far from us. "Nurse!" she said, softly. The woman looked up from -her occupation and saw the intruder, whom she at once recognised as -the patient whose sanity had been considered doubtful. His present -appearance left very little doubt about the matter, and she was -naturally filled with consternation at the sight of an armed madman -like him in the midst of a lot of helpless women. Dropping the -dressings she had in her hand, she started violently, and was about -to break forth into exclamations, when the Sister checked her by -continuing in the same low, steady voice: - -"Hush! make no fuss or he'll get worse. Go for help. As long as -you're in the ward, walk quietly, as if nothing was the matter; and -as soon as you're outside, run as fast as you can. I'll stay here, -and try to prevent his doing any harm till help comes." - -"Indeed, 'tisn't safe for you to stay, Sister," whispered the -frightened nurse; "he's raving mad by the looks of him, and goodness -only knows what he mayn't do!" - -"All the more reason some one should stay and take care of the sick," -returned the other. "Off with you! mind not to hurry till you're out -of the ward; and then, the faster you go the better." - -Judging by the nurse's appearance, I should say it was fortunate for -her character for obedience that she was not told to remain in the -ward instead of to leave it; for I am inclined to doubt whether any -power on earth would have induced her voluntarily to stay in so -unsafe a neighbourhood. As it was, however, her orders exactly -corresponded to her inclinations, and she promptly set out towards -the door opposite to that near which the man had taken up his -position. He had left off bowing and smiling by this time, and was -seated in the chair, leaning forward meditatively and scratching the -floor with the point of his weapon, and apparently unconscious of the -presence of any one else. - -"If he'll stay like that till help comes, we shall do," whispered the -Sister to me. "I'm sure he's a man for whom quiet is _everything_; -what I dread is any fuss or noise to irritate him. It's lucky all the -patients are in bed, so that he doesn't see people moving about." - -This was all very well; but then there was no _certainty_ of -his continuing to stay quiet. And supposing he were to become -mischievous, what chance had any of us in the ward of defending -ourselves against a powerful, armed madman? So strongly was this -borne in upon me that I felt an ignominious desire to get up and -follow the retreating nurse, and was only prevented from doing so by -my affection for Sister Helena. For some inexplicable reason or other -I did not like to go away and leave her in danger, even though I was -perfectly aware that I was too feeble to have a chance of being of -any assistance if the man _did_ become violent. Besides that, I saw -how anxious she was to keep everything as quiet as possible; and -perceived also that as the departure of two people would necessarily -create more disturbance than that of one, therefore my going away -must certainly be contrary to her wishes. On no account would I cause -her one atom of additional worry and annoyance; I could sit still, at -least, though there was no other way in which I could help her. So, -notwithstanding my state of inward trepidation, I stayed where I was, -and hoped that the nurse might be fortunate in meeting with succour -speedily. - -Unluckily I was not the only person on whom the preservation of -tranquility in the ward depended. The other patients, having heard -nothing of the possibility of the presence of a lunatic in the -building, had at first had no suspicion of the real state of affairs -when they beheld the stranger's entrance. Still, they were uneasy, -because what was taking place was evidently altogether unusual; and -what is out of the common is, for that reason alone, presumed to be -alarming by the majority of mankind. And they found confirmation for -their apprehensions in the ominous haste with which the nurse went -out of the ward; for, in spite of the caution she had received, she -made her exit in a manner that was decidedly suggestive of flight. - -From one bed after another issued whimperings, timid cries, or eager -demands to know what was the matter; and the murmurs and outcries -were rising swiftly to an uproar when they were repressed by the -Sister. Speaking loud enough to be heard by all, she said that she -would take care of every one there, but that she insisted on strict -silence. That sufficed to quell the gathering storm; for there was -not a soul in the place but had confidence in Sister Helena. - -The noise made, however, had already taken effect on the maniac, and -aroused him from his previous meditative condition. Springing up and -flourishing the ice-hammer in the air wildly, he mounted upon the -seat of the chair in which he had been sitting, and began to speak. - -Sister Helena had been hitherto standing quiet in pursuance of her -policy of keeping everything as absolutely still as possible. But on -seeing his increased excitement, she began to advance gently towards -him--moving slowly and apparently carelessly, but getting steadily -nearer to him. Forgetting my uselessness and my fear of the man, I -rose instinctively to accompany her when she set out; but she -motioned me back, saying quickly: - -"No; stay quiet. It's _my_ business to protect the patients--not -_yours_." - -All this takes time to write down; but in actual fact it occupied -very few seconds, and it was still too soon to look for succour -to arrive, unless the nurse's search for it should have been -unexpectedly fortunate. - -The idea which had seized the madman appeared to be, that he was in -the middle of delivering a lecture on anatomy or some subject of that -kind; and he seemed most intent upon the theme which he imagined -himself to be pursuing, as he shouted out: - -"And now, ladies and gents, I come to that wonderful horgin--the brain. -Wait one moment whilst I get one to show you; for hillustrations is -hindispersible to the lecterer!" - -With these words, he jumped off the chair, brandishing his weapon, -and approached the nearest bed, wherein lay a woman whose leg and -ribs had been broken, and whose injured limb was fixed in a cradle. -She--perceiving that he had sinister designs upon her--began to -scream dismally, and to make unavailing efforts to extricate herself -from the bed and try to escape. Her screams were echoed by many -of the other patients, who, convinced they were all going to be -murdered, and filled with dismay on their own account as well as -hers, either forgot or ignored the command which had been given for -silence. Sister Helena, rushing forward to the rescue, reached the -bedside just in time to interpose herself between the shrieking, -struggling, fear-distraught woman calling piteously for help, and the -man who was on the point of attacking her. - -"Get out of the way there!" exclaimed he fiercely to the Sister, "or -I'll take your brain instead. I'm bound to have one for my lecter!" - -"Oh no!" she replied calmly; "the lecture is put off till to-morrow, -so you won't want a brain till then." - -The tranquility of her looks and manner seemed to produce an -impression on him; for he lowered his weapon, and looked perplexed, -and as if doubting whether to believe her or not. If only the other -inmates of the ward had obeyed her instructions and kept quiet, I -think that even then she would have been able to restrain him. But -the clamour they made served to excite him afresh and add fuel to -his frenzy. - -"Nonsense!" he shouted; "I'm wanted to go hon with the lecter at -once. Don't you hear 'em calling me back? If you hinder me, I'll -kill you!" - -Pushing her aside so roughly that she staggered and nearly fell, he -returned to his original victim, whom he caught hold of with one -hand, while with the other he raised the hammer to strike. The -blow was about to fall when it was arrested by Sister Helena, who -recovered her equilibrium in time to spring back and seize his -uplifted arm. Shaking her off as if she had been a feather, he turned -upon her with a savage cry, and raised his weapon once more. In -another moment it descended, and was buried with all his force in the -centre of her forehead. She sunk to the ground with one shuddering -groan at the very instant that the nearest door was burst open, and -two or three men rushed in. Flinging themselves upon the maniac -before he had well realised their presence, they succeeded--after a -short furious struggle--in overpowering him and carrying him off. But -they were too late, alas, to save the life of the best and noblest -human being I have ever known; for the sharp spike of the ice-hammer -had penetrated to her brain, and killed her instantaneously. And so -ended the life of one who died as she had lived,--that is to say, -devoting herself voluntarily and unreservedly to the good of others. -Characteristic of her, also, was the manner of disposal of her body, -which was burnt in a crematorium, in accordance with her own -frequently expressed wishes on the subject. For it was horrible to -her to think that her material part might possibly, after death, be -the means of bringing death and sorrow to the fellow-creatures whom -she loved so well, by poisoning the air they breathed or the water -they drank; and, therefore, she had always been a steady upholder of -cremation. - -When the history of the catastrophe which had caused her untimely end -was investigated, it came out that the person in charge of the man -when he made his escape had been Nurse Mary after all, and that what -had happened was owing to her negligence. The way of it was this: The -nurse with whom he had been left, being taken ill suddenly, and -thinking that an hour's quiet would put her right again, had had -recourse to one of her fellows to replace her whilst she went to lie -down, and that other individual had happened to be Nurse Mary. Before -going away the nurse who was ill had not neglected to caution her -substitute of the special reason that existed for watching the -patient carefully, and Nurse Mary had assured her she might be -quite easy on that score--which assurance, however, had in no wise -prevented her who gave it from acting in her usual manner, and going -to sleep when so inclined. Thus, when the man's insanity returned, -there was no one to hinder his roaming off wherever the fancy took -him. And this was how he came to arrive at our ward, armed with the -ice-hammer, which he had happened to see and pick up on the way. - -Had Nurse Mary had her deserts and been dismissed from the hospital -long before, Sister Helena's life would not have been cut short by -the madman. But she was sacrificed, in my opinion, partly to the -nurse's inefficiency, and partly to the folly of the doctor, who had -refused to believe it possible for patients to have any real cause of -complaint against a nurse, and had not hesitated to condemn their -assertions as unfounded without inquiry, and had therefore opposed -the dismissal of the nurse they had complained of. - -Brief as was my acquaintance with Sister Helena, it sufficed to make -an indelible impression on my life; and it is owing to her influence, -and to the seed she sowed, that I am no longer the unprincipled, -heathen, scampish individual that I was before I knew her--a woman -whose life was more in harmony with the Saviour's precept than that -of any one else whom I have ever known, "A new commandment I give -unto you, That ye love one another." - - - - - CHAPTER XIV. - - A CHANGE OF FORTUNE. - - -On leaving the hospital I straightway entered the situation as -assistant newspaper-seller which Sister Helena had procured for me. -I did not contemplate staying there long, because, as the work was -light, the pay was proportionately small; so as soon as my health -should be thoroughly re-established, I meant to give up vending -papers, and look out for some more remunerative employment; providing -always that it was one which I could obtain honestly, for I was quite -determined not to have recourse to any more false testimonials in -future. But an undreamt of surprise was in store for me, and all my -schemes were destined to be completely altered before I had been many -weeks at my new post. - -When, as sometimes happened, business was slack, I had nothing to do -but to wait idly for customers to appear; and on these occasions I -usually beguiled the time by studying some of the papers which -composed our stock in trade. One day whilst thus engaged I was -astonished to come across an advertisement commencing thus: -"Gilbertina, daughter of the late Sir Anthony Trecastle of Castle -Manor--" Having read so far, I put down the paper. The _late_ Sir -Anthony! Then my father must have died whilst I was in the hospital, -for I had heard of him as alive and well shortly before that. He and -I had never cared for one another, but notwithstanding this mutual -indifference, it gave me a shock to learn thus suddenly that he was -dead. So many thoughts and recollections of old days rushed into my -mind, that it was some little time before I remembered that I had not -yet finished reading the advertisement, and that as it began with my -name, I had probably better see what it was all about. - -This was how the whole ran:--"Gilbertina, daughter of the late Sir -Anthony Trecastle of Castle Manor, is requested to communicate with -Messrs. Fox and Snail, Lincoln's Inn Fields, from whom she will hear -of something greatly to her advantage." - -What could Messrs. Fox and Snail, who had been, as I knew, my -father's solicitors, have to tell me, I wondered? and should I -answer this advertisement of theirs or not? If I did, I must -evidently surrender the "incog." which I had hitherto preserved -so successfully, and in that case I saw that I could not reckon -certainly on being able to resume it again. Therefore the question -which I put before myself to be decided upon was this: Am I inclined -to take a step which may involve my leaving the independent career on -which I am launched, and going back to my original station of life? - -Well! I had by this time discovered that people who were by birth and -education my equals were, as a rule, more congenial associates to me -than my inferiors; I knew, too, that I had an innate and ineradicable -prejudice in favour of the name of Trecastle, which would make it -pleasant to me once more to call myself by it openly; for even though -I had voluntarily discarded it, yet I had always felt a secret pride -in thinking that it was mine, and that I had the right to bear it if -I chose. Besides this, my experiences had taught me to appreciate -better than formerly the comfort of having my bread and butter found -for me, instead of being obliged to find it for myself, and I had -learnt that there are sometimes drawbacks attendant upon earning -one's own livelihood, notwithstanding the halo of adventure and -enterprise surrounding that process, which constituted its principal -attraction in my eyes. Furthermore, Messrs. Fox and Snail promised to -tell me of what would be greatly to my advantage, and it is not in -human nature to feel averse to hearing of anything that answers to -that description, or to learn that such information is to be had, -without being curious to know exactly what it may be. Altogether, -therefore, there was clearly a good deal to be said in favour of my -complying with the request in the advertisement, and consenting to -become Gilbertina Trecastle once more. - -But then, on the other hand, it seemed to me that however desirable -this course might be in some ways, its advantages would be more than -counterbalanced if it involved anything derogatory to my dignity. -Upon no account whatever would I condescend to take any step which -could be construed into a confession of failure and defeat, or be -considered equivalent to taking cap in hand, and suing humbly for -reinstatement. No, indeed! I had supported myself by my own exertions -ever since I had left home, and saw no reason to doubt my being able -to continue to do so. Therefore I had neither failed nor been -defeated, and it was not likely that I was going to do anything to -give rise to a contrary supposition. - -After careful consideration of the advertisement, however, I came -to the conclusion that there was nothing to compromise dignity in -responding to such an invitation as it contained, and that I could -do so without any fear of injuring my self-respect, or appearing to -humiliate myself either in my own eyes, or in those of other people. -And, my pride being thus satisfied, I went next day to the office in -Lincolns Inn Fields, announced who I was, and inquired what Messrs. -Fox and Snail had to tell me. - -The information I received in reply was this. Before my father left -England, immediately after my mother's death, he made a will and -deposited it with his solicitors. He seems to have thought of -altering it after his second marriage, for he observed to them -casually once, that he should not wonder if he were to make a fresh -will some day or other when he had not anything else to do, and -happened to be in the humour for it. But whatever his intentions on -the subject may have been, that day was still to come when he died -suddenly. The only will he left was the one already mentioned, and -as in that he bequeathed everything he had to me, it was now only -necessary that I should prove my identity in order to enter into -possession of my inheritance without further obstacle. I had but -little difficulty in establishing satisfactorily that I really was -Gilbertina Trecastle, and as soon as that had been done, my fortunes -changed for the better as suddenly as though a benevolent magician -had waved his wand over them. Instead of being an ill-paid shop -assistant at the beck and call of an employer, I found myself raised -all at once to a position of ease and independence, with ample means, -and no one to dictate to or interfere with me. And this latter -condition was, as may be imagined, decidedly preferable to the former -one. - -Considering the manner of my departure from home, and the antipathy -that had always existed between my step-mother and me, I certainly -anticipated that she would now disapprove of me more strongly than -ever, and avoid having to do with me as much as possible. But it -seemed that the transformation of my circumstances had worked an -equally marvellous transformation in her opinion of me; for the tone -she adopted towards me was totally different from what it had been in -the days of my insignificance, when I could be snubbed and bullied to -any extent with impunity. Then she had been all verjuice, gall, and -vinegar: now she was all honey, oil, and butter. Then she had -pronounced me ignorant, stupid, evil-disposed, tiresome, all that was -objectionable, and utterly unfit to be admitted into society: now she -sang my praises unweariedly whenever she had an opportunity, and -declared me to be clever, amusing, witty, agreeable, and in every way -charming and delightful. How she can have thought it likely for any -one of ordinary intelligence to be taken in by such palpable and -unblushing humbug, I cannot imagine. Certainly the chief effect it -had upon me was to make me feel more disgusted with her than ever, -and wonder whether there was _any_ limit to her capacity for toadying -and cringing when she thought it suited her game to do so. - -Of course I knew very well that she would not be thus anxious to -curry favour with me for nothing; and that there was sure to be some -secret motive for all the lying compliments and fulsome flattery with -which she sought to impress me favourably, and to make me forget her -former conduct. Very soon this motive became apparent; for the hints -she gave showed plainly that, as she found Castle Manor an extremely -comfortable abode, she did not at all want to leave it, and was in -hopes of being able to establish herself there permanently. - -I really must not be offended at her frankness, she said; but I had -such a place in her affection and esteem, and she was so anxious for -my welfare, that she could not resist giving me a word of advice, -even at the risk of being thought interfering. In her opinion I -was too young and inexperienced to live alone, and I should find -the management of property a great tie and worry. She did hope, -therefore, that I would get some older person to live with me, whom I -could regard as a friend; who would set me free to amuse myself by -relieving me of business cares when I liked; and who would be always -at hand to be consulted in case of need. There would certainly be -plenty of candidates for the post of companion to an individual so -attractive and popular as I was, to associate with whom would be a -constant pleasure and privilege; so I might reckon on a wide field to -choose from, as soon as I should make known what I wanted. Till then, -was there any way in which _she_ could be useful? Would I not like -her to stay for a while and help me to settle down comfortably? I had -only to say the word, and she would be most happy to fall in with any -arrangement of the kind that I might propose. - -I, however, had not the slightest wish to have her as an inmate of my -house on any terms at all. To forgive her was one thing; to live with -her was another. Having learnt that it was a duty to forgive her, I -had made up my mind to do so, and had therefore renounced all -intention of revealing her early history and plebeian connections, or -making any other attempt to pay her off for past injuries. But beyond -that point, it seemed to me I was not bound to go; and I saw no kind -of necessity for inviting her to live with me. She could not be in -want of money, as she still possessed whatever she had had when she -married my father. And if she disliked solitude, she could go and -domicile herself with one of her own daughters--both of whom had got -married during my absence from home. Evidently, therefore, there was -no possible reason for me to think that I ought to inflict her -company upon myself; and I might, with a clear conscience, turn a -deaf ear to her overtures. So, instead of responding as she hoped, I -took the liberty of giving her plainly to understand that the sooner -she cleared out of Castle Manor the better, as I was in a hurry to -occupy my house, and only waited for her departure in order to do so. - -I really did try hard not to do anything needlessly harsh by her. But -she would _not_ go till I put my foot down firmly and unmistakably; -and it was scarcely to be expected that I should, of my own free will -and without any feeling of obligation in the matter, ever choose to -live in the same house with her again. So I do not know that I could -well have acted otherwise than I did. - -Finding that I stuck firmly to my point, she took herself off at -last; whereupon I went straight home, and have lived there the -greater part of the time since--endeavouring to the best of my -ability to perform the duties of my new position as a lady squire. -What with looking after the interests--both physical and moral--of my -tenants and poorer neighbours, and managing my house and estate, I -have plenty of occupation to keep my brain active and to interest -me; and, consequently, I have taken to this quiet country existence -much more kindly than I should have imagined possible in the days -when I had not become acquainted, by personal experience, with -the feelings of a landowner. But that does not prevent me from -contemplating another foreign trip before long; for my natural spirit -of restlessness and adventure is too vigorous to rest satisfied -without an occasional indulgence. - -My present age is just twenty-four; but I often find it hard to -realise that I am not a great deal older than that, when I come in -contact with other young ladies of the same age. I seem to have -knocked about the world and seen so much more of it than they have, -as a rule, that I can hardly fancy it possible for the length of -their lives and mine to be identical--unless they have wasted their -opportunities sadly! - -As Kitty Clement has played a somewhat prominent part in these pages, -it may be well that I should tell all I know of her career up to this -time. Since my restoration I have seen her several times at parties -in London, and have, on these occasions, studied her only from a -distance; because, as I am not anxious to be recognised as her -former maid, Jill, I do not intend to claim kindred, renew the old -acquaintance begun at Lugano, or do anything else that would direct -her attention to me. But the strange charm which she always had for -me is not yet wholly dead; and I still cannot help observing her -course with an interest which I do not feel in that of any one else. -Her great object evidently is, to make her husband a conspicuous -figure in the political world. She has persuaded the Premier to -appoint him to some government office of minor importance; receives -at her parties hosts of members of parliament, fashionables, and -lions, once a week regularly; and does all she can to increase the -influence and popularity of his name in every way possible. If he had -anything like her ability, strength, and wits, and were as much above -the common run of men as she is above that of women, her help would -certainly make him Prime Minister before long. But, unluckily for her -schemes, his talents are in no respect above the average; and though -he discharges the duties of his office in a most painstaking and -praiseworthy manner, yet devotion to work alone will never enable a -man to rank as a great leader. Even, however, if her ambition should -not be fully gratified, she may at all events congratulate herself on -being an extremely great lady, and enjoying a position that many -women would deem the acme of felicity. She interchanges dinners with -royalties; her parties are thronged; and as I frequently see her -goings and comings chronicled in the newspapers, I imagine that she -has attained sufficient celebrity for the general public to wish to -be informed of her movements. And what more than that does the heart -of an ordinary woman desire? - -She has presented her husband with an heir to the title, and other -children also; she is spoken of as an exemplary wife and mother; -no breath of slander has ever touched her; and she is--to all -appearance--as perfectly contented with her lot as she certainly has -cause to be. As for the feeling she once had for Captain Norroy, I -have no doubt it has been crushed to nothing, and that when he and -his wife are amongst her guests, she behaves to them exactly as she -does to every one else--that is to say, with a stately graciousness -and _aplomb_ which seem as though beyond the power of human beings or -events to ruffle. - -Yet the expression of her face strikes me as being strangely hard and -cold for a person so admired and popular as she is, and who is so -successful in making herself generally agreeable. It is not the look -of a woman who has all she wants, but of one who has incased herself -in impervious armour, which she never lays aside, and which no soft -emotion can penetrate either from within or from without. And -notwithstanding all her prosperity and appearance of contentment, I -cannot help doubting whether she is really and in her secret soul -happy. Does ambition fill and satisfy her life entirely? Or is there -room for any lurking regret for the dream of love that came to her -once--the romance that might have been, which is now buried far out -of sight, and can never come to life again? - -And sometimes, too, I wonder, whether her nature was always as stony -as it is now (for even to her husband and children she is rather kind -than loving), whether her softness towards Captain Norroy was only -the exception that proved the rule, and whether she ever has felt or -could feel genuine, warm affection for other people. She seems -incapable of tenderness now; but I am not sure whether before her -marriage she may not have had a capacity for loving which she has now -lost--perhaps killed deliberately for fear of its proving troublesome -to her. And if so, and if in those days she and I had been thrown -together (as might very likely have happened, had it not been for my -step-mother) as equals instead of as mistress and maid, should we -have become friends, I wonder? - -Who can say! Now, as always, she is an enigma hard to read. - - - - - THE END. - - - - - _Printed by_ R. & R. CLARK, _Edinburgh._ - - - - - TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE - - -Obvious printing errors have been silently corrected throughout. -Otherwise, inconsistencies and possible errors have been preserved. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JILL, VOL II (OF 2) *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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A. Dillwyn—A Project Gutenberg eBook</title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg"/> - <meta name="cover" content="images/cover.jpg" /> - <meta name="DC.Title" content="Jill"/> - <meta name="DC.Creator" content="Elizabeth Amy Dillwyn"/> - <meta name="DC.Language" content="en"/> - <meta name="DC.Created" content="1884"/> - <meta name="DC.Subject" content="Fiction"/> - <meta name="Pubdate" content="1884"/> - <meta name="Tags" content="Fiction"/> - - <style type="text/css"> - - body - { - margin-left:9%; - margin-right:9% - } - - p - { - margin-top:0.75em; - text-align:justify; - text-indent:1.5em; - } - .noindent - { - text-indent:0; - } - - h1 - { - text-align:center; - font-weight:normal; - font-size:2em; - margin:2em auto 1em auto; - } - h2 - { - text-align:center; - font-weight:normal; - font-size:1.2em; - margin:1em auto 0.5em auto; - margin-top:1.5em; - page-break-before:always; - } - - em - { - font-style:italic; - font-weight:normal; - } - - i.name - { - font-style:italic; - } - - .smcap - { - font-variant:small-caps; - } - - .rightalign - { - text-align:right; - margin-right:1.5em; - } - .centre - { - text-align:center; - } - .spaceabove - { - margin-top:3em; - } - - hr.pbk - { - border:none; - border-bottom:1px solid silver; - width:100%; - margin-top:2em; - margin-bottom:2em; - page-break-after:always; - } - - .toc - { - margin:auto; - } - - .toc th - { - text-align:right; - font-weight:normal; - font-size:small; - } - - .toc td - { - padding-top:0.75em; - vertical-align:top; - } - .toc td.chaptitle - { - text-align:left; - padding-right:0.5em; - } - - .image-centre - { - text-align:center; - margin:2em auto; - } - - #coverpage - { - border:1px solid silver; - } - - </style> - - </head> - <body> -<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Jill, Vol II (of 2), by E. A. Dillwyn</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Jill, Vol II (of 2)</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: E. A. Dillwyn</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 4, 2021 [eBook #65758]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: anonymous Project Gutenberg volunteers</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JILL, VOL II (OF 2) ***</div> - -<hr class="pbk" /> - -<div class="image-centre"> - <img id="coverpage" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="Book cover" /> -</div> - -<hr class="pbk" /> - -<h1>JILL</h1> - -<p class="centre spaceabove"><small>BY</small><br /> - -E. A. DILLWYN</p> - -<p class="centre spaceabove">IN TWO VOLUMES.—VOL. II.</p> - -<p class="centre spaceabove">London<br /> -MACMILLAN AND CO.<br /> -1884</p> - -<hr class="pbk" /> - -<p class="centre spaceabove"><small><i>Printed by</i> <span class="smcap">R. & R. Clark,</span> <i>Edinburgh.</i></small></p> - -<hr class="pbk" /> - -<h2>CONTENTS.</h2> -<table summary="Contents" class="toc"> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER I.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td></td> - <td><small>PAGE</small></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Chapelle Mortuaire</span></td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c1">1</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER II.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A New Use for a Bier</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c2">20</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER III.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">Off from Corsica</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c3">40</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER IV.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">Captain Norroy Appears</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c4">58</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER V.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A Newspaper Paragraph</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c5">70</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER VI.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">Notice to Quit</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c6">85</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER VII.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A Doggy Place</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c7">99</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER VIII.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A Discovery</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c8">112</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER IX.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">The Last of Perkins</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c9">131</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER X.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">An Accident</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c10">152</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER XI.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">In Hospital</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c11">168</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER XII.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">Sister Helena</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c12">189</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER XIII.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A Catastrophe</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c13">206</a></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="centre">CHAPTER XIV.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="chaptitle smcap">A Change of Fortune</td> - <td class="rightalign"><a href="#c14">222</a></td> - </tr> -</table> - -<hr class="pbk" /> - -<h2 id="c1">CHAPTER I.<br /> - -<small>A <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">CHAPELLE MORTUAIRE</span>.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">Immediate preparations were made for our departure from the spot -where we were. A couple of coarse handkerchiefs were tied across the -lower part of our faces, so as to stifle our voices if we should -uplift them on the remote chance of any one being in hearing who -would assist us. Next our feet were untied to enable us to walk. We -were warned that if we attempted to escape or to call out, we should -be instantly stabbed. And in order to convince us that this was no -empty threat, a wicked-looking, dagger-like article, known in Corsica -as a vendetta-knife, was dashed before our eyes, and we were shown -that each of our captors had one of these knives stowed away in a -little inside coat-pocket, where it was ready to hand at a moment's -notice.</p> - -<p>Then we moved off in single file. Napoleon went in front, with Kitty -close at his heels; I came third, and César brought up the rear.</p> - -<p>The robbers naturally selected to travel through the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">maquis</i> rather -than along the open road; and we two captives, whose hands were -bound, sorely missed the assistance of those members to push aside -the numerous boughs and twigs by which our progress was impeded. Now -and then the man in front stopped to hold back obstacles in some very -thick place, where we should otherwise have probably altogether stuck -fast; but such an attention was exceptional, and, as a rule, we were -left to make our way unaided as best we could, regardless of the -scratches and bruises which we continually received, and whereby the -discomfort and fatigue of the journey was greatly increased. Napoleon -led us first down to the mouth of the valley; then branched off in a -direction away from that which the carriage and Mrs. Rollin would -take; then climbed a steep hill, and proceeded along the ridge of it -for some distance; then descended abruptly into another valley, and -we were kept trudging over hill and dale alternately in this way -during the whole afternoon. Many of the places we passed were such as -might have roused a lover of fine scenery to enthusiasm; but neither -Kitty nor I were in a humour to appreciate that sort of thing just -then, and the beauties of the landscape were quite wasted upon us, as -we toiled wearily along obscure and seldom-used tracks, through -desolate wild districts, without ever once approaching a human -dwelling.</p> - -<p>My having made the men believe that neither of us understood Italian -caused them to converse together in that language as unreservedly as -if they had been alone, and, thanks to this, I was able to discover -what were their intentions for disposing of us for the present. I -learnt that we were being taken to a cave up in the hills, which had -been their headquarters since their escape from prison. Here we were -to be left under care of one of the robbers, whilst the other -descended to the lower lands to seek out Mrs. Rollin, and open -negotiations with her on the important subject of the ransom.</p> - -<p>This cave of theirs, wherever it might be, was evidently an -unpleasantly long way off from the scene of our capture. On and on we -went without ever pausing for a moment; and I grew so tired that I -could hardly drag myself along, and began to speculate on the chances -of having to be carried before the appointed resting-place would be -reached. A slackening of speed or a halt would have been a most -welcome relief to me; but of that there was no hope, as our progress -was already too slow to satisfy the robbers, who kept constantly -urging us to hurry on faster, lest we should all be benighted on the -way. As daylight diminished, so did their impatience increase, and -many were the angry oaths they uttered at the distance still to be -traversed before attaining the cave.</p> - -<p>Suddenly Napoleon stood still, and looked back at his comrade -joyfully. "César," cried he, "I have a good idea! At the rate we go -now, we shall not get home till midnight; whereas if you and I were -alone, and not hampered by these women, we should arrive in half the -time. Is not that so?"</p> - -<p>"Obviously," grumbled César; "but what's the use of stopping to tell -me what I know already?"</p> - -<p>"Why this," returned the other; "that I propose we should disembarrass -ourselves of them at once."</p> - -<p>"Stupid!" rejoined César, irritably; "don't you see that the only -way of doing that is to kill them, or else to let them go; and that -in either of those cases we should be throwing away all chance of -deriving further gain from them?"</p> - -<p>"Ah, but I have thought of another method of getting rid of them," -answered Napoleon—"a method which will enable us to keep them alive, -and in our power too. I did a good deal of business in this part of -the country formerly, and learnt to know it well; thus I came to know -of a place near here, which I have only just recollected, and which -will be most convenient to us at this moment. It is not exactly such -a place as I would myself care to stay at, but it will do admirably -for shutting up these two women in, and when we have disposed of them -there, you and I can travel home as fast as we please. A famous safe -prison it is, where there will be no need for one of us to stay and -keep guard over them, as there would be if they were housed in the -cave. Thus we shall be free to go together and see about the business -with the ransom—which will, of course, be a great advantage, since -two heads are better than one, you know."</p> - -<p>César seemed still incredulous. "I believe you are talking nonsense," -said he; "I cannot think of any possible prison about here to answer -to your description."</p> - -<p>"Nonsense, indeed!" retorted his companion; "no, in truth! A short -distance from here, on the side of a hill, far from any inhabited -house or public road, I remember that there is an old mortuary -chapel. Years ago the family to whom it belonged left their -country-house and went to live in Ajaccio, and since then it has -never been used. This is the place in which I propose to imprison our -captives. There will be no chance of their being heard, however much -noise they may make; for the walls are thick, and there is nothing to -bring any one into the vicinity. And as they will certainly not be -able to get out unaided, we shall have no need to trouble ourselves -more about them, except to supply them with food."</p> - -<p>"A deserted mortuary chapel!" said César, reflectively; "'tis a good -idea, no doubt. Only—it is getting late; and—well, to say the -truth, I am not at any time over-fond of the company of the dead, and -like it least of all by night. Still—it would be very convenient to -do what you propose—the light is not gone yet—the chapel is close -by, you say. Yes! there will be time to shut up the women, and remove -ourselves to a pleasanter neighbourhood before dark. Go on, then, and -let us get the job over as soon as possible."</p> - -<p>Our course was resumed accordingly. The thought of the grim kind -of hotel that Napoleon had found for us reminded me forcibly of -Schubert's song <i lang="de" xml:lang="de">Das Wirthshaus</i>, and I seemed to hear its wild -plaintive melody sounding in my ears as we hurried over the broken -ground through the fast-increasing dusk. Horrible as was the idea of -being immured alive in a tomb, yet I shrank from it less then than I -should have done ordinarily. And for these two reasons: First, -because the long march had reduced me to such a state of exhaustion -that the prospect of rest was welcome anywhere—even in a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle -mortuaire</i>. Secondly, because it seemed safer and in every way -preferable to be with the dead than with the two ruffians who had us -in their power, and whom I regarded with the most profound distrust.</p> - -<p>The chapel being near at hand, we reached it while there was still -sufficient light to show something of the exterior of our prison.</p> - -<p>We came first to a high wall, with no other opening in it than an -iron gate, which was wide enough to admit a carriage. The bolt by -which the gate was fastened was forced back without difficulty, and -then a short straight bit of road brought us to the door of the -chapel itself. This door was situated exactly opposite to the gate in -the outer wall, and was secured by a great iron bar across the -outside, and also by a chain and rusty padlock. With the help of a -stone the men easily broke open the padlock, and then they lifted -the ponderous external bar off its supports. There was now no -further obstacle to opening the door before which we stood, but -our captors—being not insensible to superstitious fears—did not -wish to keep the entrance to the charnel-house open longer than was -absolutely necessary, and therefore postponed unclosing it till the -last moment.</p> - -<p>They set our hands at liberty, and delivered to us such provisions as -they had with them—consisting of a morsel of sausage, a slice of -rye-bread, a good-sized piece of extremely strong-smelling cheese, -a couple of onions and apples, and a gourd half-full of wine. -Having thus provided us against famine, César made us a profound -bow of mocking deference, and said in French: "Adieu for the -present, ladies. You see our desire to treat you with distinguished -consideration induces us to place you here, with a good roof and -strong walls to shelter you, rather than to take you to the rough -cave which serves <em>us</em> for a habitation. We do not intend remaining -to share this splendid dwelling with you, lest we should intrude on -your privacy; therefore we shall now, however unwillingly, tear -ourselves away, but first thing to-morrow morning we will return with -a supply of food, before departing to seek out and communicate with -the other lady." Then, addressing himself to his comrade, he said: -"Look sharp, Napoleon; open a bit of the door, and in with them!"</p> - -<p>The door, which only opened outwards, was pulled just far enough -apart to admit a human body. The men, without adventuring their own -persons an inch within the building, thrust Kitty and me roughly in, -and at once closed the entrance behind us again. Then came a -scraping, grating noise, which told that the great iron bar was -being replaced on its supports outside, and immediately afterwards we -heard the steps of César and Napoleon hurrying away at full speed -from the uncanny neighbourhood of the tomb to which they had -consigned us.</p> - -<p>At first we stood without moving from the spot to which we had been -pushed, just inside the door, waiting to see if we should be able to -distinguish anything when our eyes had become accustomed to the -darkness; for the interior of the building was perfectly dark. -Meanwhile we profited by the liberty that had been restored to our -hands to remove the handkerchiefs across our mouths, which had -hitherto prevented us from speaking.</p> - -<p>Kitty's knowledge of Italian being limited, she had not comprehended -what the men had been saying to one another; consequently she did not -now know the nature of our abode, as I discovered from the first -words she uttered when her mouth was free of its gag:</p> - -<p>"I wonder what sort of place this is," she said; "don't you? It's a -bore to have no light; however, I'm going on a bit further, to -explore without it, as we can't possibly have it."</p> - -<p>I laid my hand upon her arm, and checked her as she was about to -advance.</p> - -<p>"You had better be careful how you move," I said; "we are shut up in -a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i>."</p> - -<p>"A <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i>" she echoed, interrogatively; "let me -see—what is that? Oh I remember! Wasn't that the name of those -buildings which you told me you had seen near Ajaccio, and which you -called 'villa residences for the dead?'"</p> - -<p>"Yes," I replied, doing my best to speak unconcernedly and carelessly, -and to conceal from her the feeling of disgust and aversion with -which the place inspired me, and which was growing stronger every -moment; "rather an appropriate place for me too, I think, seeing that -I'm nearly dead with fatigue. I haven't the least wish to move about, -and intend to sit down just where I am now. The door will make a -capital back to lean against."</p> - -<p>I was not sure but what the knowledge of where she was might -perhaps prove a shock to Kitty's nerves. But there was no trace of -discomposure to be detected in her voice or manner as she answered -me. "So it will," she said, "and I vote that we have dinner at once. -Those wretches never offered us any five o'clock tea; and what with -that and the long walk, I'm quite ravenous! You've no idea what a -relief to my mind it was to find that they didn't intend to leave us -all night without food."</p> - -<p>Of course we both wanted to seem as happy and as much at our ease as -possible, in order thus to help to keep up each other's spirits. I, -however, was not very successful in the effort; for though I was -perfectly free from any dread of the supernatural, yet there were -material horrors attached to the position which I could not forget. I -thought of the sights that would be revealed if there were light; of -the grinning skulls, mouldering bodies, crumbling coffins, and -ghastly relics of mortality, which might be expected in a tomb; and I -remembered that these things must be so close to me that I might -perhaps at any moment strike my hand against them. There was a -gruesomeness and eeriness about the place, to which my state of -bodily exhaustion rendered me unwontedly susceptible, and I felt more -nervous and creepy than I had ever done in my life before.</p> - -<p>"I don't think that I <em>can</em> eat in this terrible place," I said, with -an involuntary shiver, in response to Kitty's suggestion of dinner.</p> - -<p>Whether or not she was at all inclined to be affected by our dismal -surroundings, as I was, I do not know; at all events she did not show -it, and redoubled her efforts to raise my spirits when she perceived -how much disposed I was to break down.</p> - -<p>"Oh yes—you'll not think of where you are in a few minutes more, -when you've got used to it," she returned, seating herself beside me, -and proceeding to distribute the food. "What a funny idea to have a -picnic in the dark—quite novel, too; I daresay no one ever did it -before. Where is the bread? Oh you've got it. As for the cheese, -there's no need to ask where <em>that</em> is, because one's nose may safely -be trusted to supply the requisite information. I must say a knife -would be rather handy; but I'm afraid we must do the best we can -without, for I left my pocket-knife where I was sketching, and -Messieurs César and Napoleon have omitted to provide for our wants in -that respect. How lucky that my aunt is not with us, and obliged to -dine in this primitive fashion, without any proper appurtenances! If -she were, I verily believe she'd be unhappy lest any acquaintance -should behold her in the act of committing such an enormity—even -though the fact of the spectator would involve light to see by, and a -chance of assistance; both of which <em>I</em> should consider to be most -desirable things at this moment."</p> - -<p>Thus she ran on, joking, laughing, making light of every discomfort, -and chatting to me as if she had thought me her equal, as if the tomb -had been a leveller of ranks to the living as well as to the dead, -and as if in entering it all social differences between her and me -had been annihilated. She could have devised nothing better adapted -to accomplish her object, and help me to shake off the gloomy -influences that oppressed me. Her example of bright good humour and -courage was irresistible, and before our unilluminated repast had -progressed far I became myself again, and eager to show a spirit as -brave as her own. To this desirable result, too, the creature -comforts of which I partook tended not a little to contribute. -Though the victuals were hardly to be called choice, and the wine had -acquired a nasty flavour from the gourd in which it was contained, -nevertheless they revived me as well as the most sumptuous cates -could have done; and when dinner was at an end I was a different -creature from what I had been before. Kitty made no comment on the -change in me, but I have little doubt that she perceived it, all the -same, as she now, for the first time, turned the conversation -seriously to the predicament in which we found ourselves.</p> - -<p>"It seems to me, Jill," she said, "that you and I are having -to do penance, with a vengeance, for our disbelief in escaped -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">penitenciers</i>! We must give our minds now to what we are to do next; -but before entering on that subject I want to tell you how <em>very</em> -sorry I am to have been the means of bringing you into this scrape. -I can't help feeling that it is all my doing, and that if I had not -gone on to sketch, or had not taken you with me, you, at all events, -would be in safety at this moment."</p> - -<p>Proud as she might be, pride had not yet taken enough hold of her to -crush the naturally generous disposition which was more distressed at -being the cause of another person's sufferings than at having to -suffer itself. I was touched at the thoughtfulness on my account -evinced by her last speech; and as I did not wish her to blame -herself unfairly, I assured her that I had accompanied her quite as -much for my own pleasure as hers. And in order to prove that we -should not in any case have got off scot-free, I repeated to her the -conversation I had overheard before we were captured, from which it -appeared that the carriage would have been attacked if she and I had -not separated from it and walked on alone.</p> - -<p>"Thank you," she said, when I had completed my tale. "I can't tell -you what a comfort it is to me to know all that, and to think that I -am not the sole cause of this bother! And now to consider our next -proceedings. The two things chiefly borne in upon my mind at this -moment are—first, that it's no use blinking the fact of our being in -an extremely awkward position; and second, that it won't do to be -afraid, because fear, as Solomon says, 'is nothing else but a -betraying of the succours which reason offereth.'"</p> - -<p>This was no doubt true. But, unluckily, no amount of calmness and -courage would show us any reasonable prospect of escape—look at the -situation in what way we would.</p> - -<p>It was no use to hope that our friends would rescue us, since it was -manifestly impossible for them to have an idea where we were. When -Mrs. Rollin continued her journey from the place where we had left -her, she would, we knew, have reckoned on my remaining on the road, -whether Kitty did or not. Consequently she would have gone on driving -contentedly towards St. Lucie di Tallano without the least fear of -leaving us behind; and there was no saying how long it might have -been before either she or the driver became uneasy at not overtaking -us. Then, when they <em>did</em> take alarm—as they must have done, sooner -or later—there was nothing to make them suspect what had really -happened. They would probably suppose we had simultaneously expired, -tumbled over cliffs, sprained our ankles, or fallen victims to some -other likely or unlikely catastrophe; and then they would have begun -hunting about vaguely for us, without the slightest clue to where we -were. Thus it was in vain to trust to external aid reaching us, and -the question was, Could we anyhow manage to escape by our own -unassisted exertions? Alas! the prospect was no better in that -direction either. The door through which we had entered was the only -outlet apparent, and that was, as we knew, fastened on the outside -by a great heavy bar, which rendered exit in that way impossible. -Shouting was of no avail, because the place was so solitary that we -might have screamed till we were hoarse without a chance of producing -any other effect.</p> - -<p>Altogether, therefore, we saw no possible means of getting away from -our prison, and came reluctantly to the conclusion that we had no -alternative but to resign ourselves to stay where we were, and await -the course of events patiently. This was by no means a satisfactory -termination of our deliberations, and, having arrived at it, we sat -in melancholy silence for a minute. The silence was broken by Kitty -who said cheerily: "I'm sure we shall both be the better for some -rest, so let us lie down and go to sleep."</p> - -<p>"Lie down!" repeated I; "surely that won't be safe, will it? It's too -dark to see, and there might be—well—things that one wouldn't care -to touch, knocking about in a place of this kind, you know. I should -think we'd best try and go to sleep without changing our present -position."</p> - -<p>"No; we shouldn't rest nearly as well sitting upright, as we should -lying down," answered Kitty; "and it won't do for us to play tricks -with our strength in any way, or to risk losing an atom of it that is -to be had. Very likely there may be nothing disagreeable up the -middle of the floor, or, at all events, nothing that we cannot easily -clear away. Let us stoop down and feel our way straight before us -till we have a space to lie down in."</p> - -<p>There seemed a tacit agreement between us that the ghastly objects -by which we knew we must surely be surrounded were not to be defined -in words, but to be kept strictly to ourselves, lest the imagination -of one should supply some additional detail which had not occurred -to that of the other, by which means the horrors of the situation -might have been considerably increased. I am sure this was a wise -precaution. As it was, I know I found my imagination vivid enough to -picture a good deal more than was at all agreeable to think of; and -it would, no doubt, have been still more troublesome if supplemented -by that of Kitty also.</p> - -<p>I did not by any means relish her proposal that we should clear -sufficient space to lie down on; for I could not help shuddering at -the thought of the things one might expect to come in contact with -when groping about without light in a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i>. Still, I -was not going to have her despise me as a fool or a coward, so I made -no objection, and set to work heroically to perform my share of the -unpleasant task.</p> - -<p>The only suspicious thing which I met with in the course of my -explorations was some small-sized object, whose substance was cold -and clammy, and whose identity I could not at all determine by touch. -An exclamation of disgust rose to my lips when my fingers came -against this unknown horror; but I managed to restrain any outward -manifestation of emotion, and merely pushed the obstruction aside -quietly, without letting Kitty know that I had found anything -unpleasant.</p> - -<p>As I made this effort to spare her feelings, I was struck by the -quaint probability of her being at the same instant engaged in a -similar endeavour to spare mine, and I realised that the common -danger to which we were exposed was a link which united us so firmly -that our separate identities were, for the time being, well-nigh -merged into one. Whatever affected the condition of one of us must -necessarily affect that of the other also; whence it followed that -the bodily and mental welfare of both was a matter of mutually vital -consequence, and that each was as anxious to shield the other as -herself from any annoyance or shock that could possibly be avoided. -Truly a queer sort of selfish unselfishness!</p> - -<p>It did not take us long to make sure that we had room to lie down -without fear of coming against any repulsive relics of mortality; -then we extended ourselves upon the ground, pressing closely together -for warmth, as the night was cold. Hard and rough as was the couch, -and perilous as was our situation, we were too tired to be kept -waking by either discomfort or anxiety, and were speedily asleep.</p> - -<h2 id="c2">CHAPTER II.<br /> - -<small>A NEW USE FOR A BIER.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">As I had no means of knowing the time, I cannot say exactly how long -my slumbers lasted, but, as near as I can guess, it must have been -about a couple of hours before I awoke. On opening my eyes I saw, -with much surprise, that the moon had found its way into the tomb, as -there was a patch of yellow light shining upon the opposite wall, and -relieving the profound obscurity that reigned elsewhere. This was a -most cheering and hope-inspiring spectacle; for, as the door was -still closed as before, the moonlight certainly could not be entering -in that way; and the obvious deduction was, that the chapel walls -must have some second opening which we had not yet discovered. -Whatever it was, might we not escape through it?</p> - -<p>I aroused the still sleeping Kitty to point out to her the pleasant -sight, and we got upon our feet to examine into the matter more -nearly. The light was evidently admitted through some aperture -situated in the gable of the roof just above the doorway, and the -shadows by which the patch of light was traversed proved that the -aperture was defended by bars. What the object of the opening may -have been I know not,—perhaps ornament, perhaps ventilation, perhaps -some whim of the architect's. Anyhow, there it was; and though -darkness had prevented our seeing it on our first arrival at the -chapel, yet now the friendly moon had come to our assistance, and was -indicating it as a possible means of regaining liberty. Never in my -life had I felt such a sincere admiration for the moon, and such a -conviction of its utility to the world, as I did then.</p> - -<p>We were at that time standing where we had lain down, close to the -door, and the aperture was too immediately over our heads for us to -see it very well, so we advanced cautiously a few steps farther -towards the middle of the floor, in order to obtain a better view. On -looking up from this new point of observation, we saw that though the -hole was small, it nevertheless appeared to be large enough for an -ordinary sized person to be able to squeeze through, provided the -bars were out of the way. This was encouraging. But it remained to be -proved, first, whether we could get up so high without having any -ladder or other means of raising ourselves; and secondly, whether, -if we surmounted that difficulty, we should be able to remove the -obstructing bars without having tools to assist us.</p> - -<p>It was very certain that the window was too high up for us to get at -it from the ground, since it was above the door, and I, who was -taller than Kitty, could only just touch the top of the door with my -finger-tips when I stretched out my arm to its fullest extent. How -on earth, then, were we to elevate ourselves to the height of the -window? The first suggestion was, that if one of us was lifted up, -perhaps she might be able to reach the desired niche, and we at once -put the idea into execution. I, being the strongest and heaviest of -the two, was naturally appointed to be the lifter; so I took hold of -Kitty round the knees, and raised her up as far as I could. My utmost -efforts, however, failed to get her to the required height, and I had -to set her down again without having advanced an atom towards the -accomplishment of our purpose.</p> - -<p>"I'm sure I wasn't far short of touching the ledge of the window," -she said, whilst I stood panting after my exertions; "if only I could -get hold of that, and you were to help me by shoving, I expect I -could pull myself right up, and manage to hitch on somehow to examine -the bars. What we want is some kind of elevation for you to stand on -when you lift me. Do try and invent some hoisting contrivance or -other; it would be too provoking not to get up to the window now -we've found it."</p> - -<p>For a while we racked our brains vainly without discovering any -solution of the problem. At last an idea flashed across my mind. -No!—I would not mention such a thing—it was too horrible. Yet what -I had thought of was a method whereby we might perhaps supply such an -elevation as we wanted. And the unpleasantness of that method was no -sufficient reason for being silent about it, when the urgent peril in -which we were made it absurd to allow mere sentimental considerations -to stand in the way of any possible chance of escape. Therefore I -conquered my repugnance for the idea that had occurred to me, and -said: "There must be coffins in this place. Very likely they are all -more or less fallen to pieces, for Napoleon said that it had not been -used for a long time; but yet some of the wood may still be sound, -and perhaps if we grope about we may be able to collect enough boards -to make a stage that would serve our purpose."</p> - -<p>Kitty did not answer immediately. I daresay that she recoiled from -the idea at first, as I had done. But if so, no doubt second thoughts -showed her, as they had me, the imperative necessity of regarding -matters from an exclusively practical, stern, and unimaginative point -of view, and of absolutely ignoring any fanciful objections to -whatever promised to aid our flight. She replied, after a short -pause:</p> - -<p>"Well, it is not a very attractive plan, certainly; but as there -doesn't seem to be any other, I suppose we had better try it, and -endeavour to forget its unpleasantness by looking forward to the -delights of liberty if it succeeds. So now let's go to work. It's a -pity neither of us was ever inside a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i> before, -isn't it? because then we should have some notion of how such places -are generally arranged, which would be a great assistance to us just -now in this pitchy darkness. As it is, however, I suppose we must -imagine what the plan of the interior is <em>likely</em> to be like, and -then proceed according to that idea. If I were an undertaker I think -I should first deposit the coffins in a row along the wall, then pile -them up, two or three deep perhaps, and only take up the middle of -the floor when the sides were all occupied. Therefore I recommend our -exploring the sides first, as likely to afford the largest supply of -wood. Do you go to the right, whilst I take the left—unless you have -anything better to suggest?"</p> - -<p>I had not; so we separated, and went off to the right and left -respectively, as she wished. But I had hardly got a yard away from -the door when she exclaimed, "Come here, Jill; I want you!"</p> - -<p>"Yes; what is it?" inquired I, as I crossed over to her.</p> - -<p>"I've found something that seems to me promising," she replied -eagerly. "I struck my hand against it directly I had got beyond the -doorway. What it is I don't know; but it's pretty big anyhow, and -it's not part of a coffin, and it's made of wood. I want you to help -me feel it over, and see if we can make it out."</p> - -<p>We began carefully investigating the unknown object with our fingers, -and endeavouring to recognise by touch its shape and construction. -For a while it puzzled us; then suddenly Kitty had an idea and said:</p> - -<p>"Do you think it's a bier? I never handled one before, but I daresay -it would feel something like this does. And it's not unlikely that it -might have been left here and forgotten after the last funeral, is -it?"</p> - -<p>"No; that's it, depend upon it!" cried I; "and it's a grand -discovery, for a bier will help to raise us capitally, if only it's -not got rotten, lying here so long."</p> - -<p>To ascertain its condition was our first anxiety. Accordingly we took -hold of the handles, lifted it off the ground, and gave it a smart -shake, though not without considerable misgivings lest it should come -to pieces in our hands. Fortunately it stood the test tolerably well, -and did not break down. At the same time, however, it quivered and -cracked in a way that did not give the impression of its being in -very first-rate order; and we decided that it would be imprudent to -expose it to the trial of bearing both of us simultaneously. If it -would support one at a time, we would make no further demands upon -its powers of endurance; and consequently we must utilise it in some -other way than by my standing on it and lifting Kitty up to the -window, as was our first idea.</p> - -<p>Instead of that we raised it lengthwise, and placed it so that the -handles at one end rested on the ground, whilst those at the other -were against the door. When thus erected the upper part of the body -of the bier was, of course, a good deal elevated, and made a foothold -whence the window could easily be attained. To mount to this foothold -was now our intention; and Kitty, being the lightest, was selected to -ascend first. The only question was, How was she to get her foot to -the top of the bier, which was too high up for any legs of ordinary -length to step up to from the ground. But this obstacle was quickly -smoothed away by my stooping down and converting myself into a -stepping-stone. Mounted on me, and steadying herself against the -door, she put one foot cautiously on the edge of the bier, and began -to press upon it. The heavier she leant on it, the more ominously did -it crack and tremble; still it did not give way, even when she at -last stood upon it altogether, and it had to bear the whole of her -weight. Hurrah! now we should know what the window looked like at -close quarters; and whether the bars were wooden or iron, loose or -tight, removable or not.</p> - -<p>Kitty's report was satisfactory. She said that the window had a ledge -on the inside which was broad and deep enough for a person to sit on -by crouching a good deal, and that the bars were only wooden.</p> - -<p>"Are they breakable?" I asked anxiously.</p> - -<p>"Don't know yet," she returned; "I shall be able to tell better if I -get right up on the ledge. They don't <em>feel</em> very solid; but I'm -afraid of trying them from here. You see I'm not very confident of -the stability of my present foothold, and don't care to indulge in -violent exertions till I get to a safer situation. Wrestling with the -bars where I am now <em>might</em> lead to an upset. If you'll help me by -pushing below, I will draw myself up on to the ledge."</p> - -<p>By dint of our united efforts, the further ascent was accomplished -successfully. The ledge did not afford a very comfortable resting-place, -as she had to sit bent nearly double, with her feet hanging down -against the wall. But the position, though cramped and inconvenient, -was secure, and was a firm point of vantage from which to attack the -bars. She took hold of one, and shook it. Being completely rotted -through, it came in two in her hand at once. The next offered a more -obstinate resistance; in this also, however, as well as in the -others, decay had begun, and had gone too far for the wood to -withstand her vigorous jerks, pushes, pulls, shakes, and blows. -Therefore it was not very long before she announced triumphantly that -there was now nothing to hinder our egress through the window, which -was, as we had thought, big enough for us to pass through.</p> - -<p>"There's one thing I don't quite see, though," she said, after poking -out her head and reconnoitring the exterior; "that is, how we're to -get down on the other side. It looks to me rather far for a drop. I -should say it would be a toss up whether we did it safely, or whether -we broke our legs. Of course we must risk it if there's nothing else -to be done; but if there <em>is</em> any other way of descending—why, I -think it would be better."</p> - -<p>"Is there room for us both to be on the ledge at the same time?" I -inquired, after a moment's reflection; "because if I were up there by -you, I might break the fall considerably by reaching down and holding -you up when you drop. And then when you are down, you may be able to -find some way of breaking the fall for me. Even if not, it would not -matter so much for me. I think I could drop the distance without -hurting myself; for when I was a child I used to do a deal of jumping -and climbing, and was always good at falling light."</p> - -<p>"Well—we might try that, at all events," she answered, "if the -ledge is large enough to hold us both at the same time. I'm doubtful -whether it is—but we can soon see. Wait a moment and I'll make more -room by turning round, and sitting with my feet out instead of in. -There—now they're out of the way. Come and stand on the top of the -bier, and see if you can stow yourself away up here by my side."</p> - -<p>It now for the first time struck us that it was by no means sure -whether I should be able to get to the top of the bier without having -any one to assist me from below as I had assisted Kitty. Yet if I -failed to reach that point, I must give up the idea of reaching the -window; and as that was equivalent to resigning my hopes of liberty, -it was evidently of the utmost importance that I should accomplish -the ascent.</p> - -<p>Kitty was the first to suggest a way out of the difficulty.</p> - -<p>"Can you alter the position of the bier," said she, "so as to make it -slant, instead of standing almost upright as it does now? Because -then you might manage to creep up it."</p> - -<p>"I've no doubt I can, only I hadn't thought of it," replied I, -proceeding to drag the two lower handles away from the door, till the -steepness of the incline was much less than before. Then I grasped -the upper edge of the bier, and tried, partly by pulling and partly -by crawling, to bring my feet up to where my hands were. Alas! the -woodwork that was firm enough to support Kitty, standing upon it -quietly, had not strength to bear a person of my greater weight, -scrambling up it as I was doing. Collapsing altogether, it brought me -violently to the ground with a crash which alarmed Kitty, who, on -her perch overhead, half in and half out, could not see what was -happening in the darkness beneath.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Jill!" she exclaimed, "what is it? Are you hurt?"</p> - -<p>"No," I answered, feeling ready to cry with vexation, as I rose, and -cleared away the <i class="loanword">débris</i> of broken wood with which I was covered. "I -wasn't far enough off the ground for that. But the old bier has -smashed all to pieces; and however I'm to get up to the window now, -I'm <em>sure</em> I don't know!"</p> - -<p>"Are you certain," she returned, "that there isn't any sound corner -still holding together, which would do for you to stick up, and stand -on? It's worth while for you to feel about on chance of such a thing, -at all events."</p> - -<p>This was true; and I explored carefully amongst the splintered -fragments in hopes of discovering some solid bit. But my efforts were -in vain.</p> - -<p>"It's no use," said I, ruefully; "the thing is gone to pieces -completely."</p> - -<p>Neither of us spoke for a while after this. First I exhausted my -ingenuity in vain endeavours to discover some means of raising -myself to the window. Then, when I made up my mind that I was doomed -to remain a captive, I began to reflect enviously on the superior -good fortune of Kitty. The only thing between her and freedom was the -trivial difficulty of getting down safely on the other side. Once -that was overcome, she would be off, and leave me by myself in this -abominable place. I did not at all like the idea of her going. For -one thing, I preferred having a companion in misfortune to being -solitary. And for another thing, her absence would greatly aggravate -my danger, as the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">penitenciers</i> would be sure to be rendered furious -by her having given them the slip, and would vent their wrath upon -me. Of course, if she were to fall in with efficient succour, and -return before they did, it would be a different matter. But then the -chance of that seemed too remote to be worth reckoning on; and I -thought it was decidedly more to my interest that she should stay -with me than that she should regain her liberty alone.</p> - -<p>Why did she sit up there silently without saying anything about her -departure? I wondered. Ah! probably she hadn't yet discovered a -satisfactory method of managing the descent outside, which she seemed -to think difficult. <em>I</em> could tell her how it was to be done, if I -chose—but then I wasn't going to chose anything of the kind. If her -own wits couldn't show her how to profit by her advantages, then let -her stay where she was, and keep me company!</p> - -<p>These were the thoughts that first crossed my mind, when I recognised -the melancholy fact that I had no chance of escape. Yet, somehow or -other, I did not eventually hold my tongue, as I had intended to do, -about the means by which her descent might be accomplished. What -induced me to change my mind about it I don't exactly know. Perhaps -the fancy that I had for her may have been stronger than I realised, -and have made it impossible for me to refrain from doing whatever I -could to get her out of the power of two such ruffians as César and -Napoleon. Or perhaps I may have been influenced by the obvious -unreasonableness of allowing two people to be exposed to a danger -from which one of them might escape. Anyhow, the upshot of it was -that I said—though not without an effort:</p> - -<p>"I've thought of a way for you to get down from the window without -damaging yourself. We'll tie our dresses, jackets—petticoats too, if -need be—into a rope which must be long enough to go through the -window and dangle down outside, whilst I keep hold of one end in -here. The outside end must have a loop for you to put your feet in; -and with the help of that, I'm pretty sure we can make the drop safe. -Then, if you should be lucky about falling in with respectable people -soon, perhaps you may be able to come back and get me away before the -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">penitenciers</i> reappear in the morning."</p> - -<p>As I believed her to be only staying there because she did not know -how to get away, I took it for granted that she would be delighted at -my suggestion, and be in a desperate hurry to avail herself of it. -Instead of that, however, she only said coolly:</p> - -<p>"Thank you, Jill; but I think it's perfectly impossible that I should -find help and return in time to rescue you, so I don't at all -contemplate going off alone, and leaving you to face the indignation -of César and Napoleon at my departure. Goodness knows what they -wouldn't do to you! No; I was the means of getting you into this -scrape, and I don't seem to see leaving you to shift for yourself -now. If there's no alternative between deserting you or taking up my -abode again inside the chapel—why, I prefer the latter. But it's too -soon to despair yet. Having got <em>one</em> of us up here is something; and -it won't do to abandon that advantage until we're quite positive that -we can't turn it to account. There's your first plan of trying to get -enough wood to make a platform—why not take to that again?"</p> - -<p>"For two reasons," said I, with a thrill of indescribable happiness -and comfort at finding that she was too staunch and plucky for there -to be a chance of her deserting me. "In the first place there isn't -time, because I should only get on at half the pace by myself that we -should have done working together. And besides that, I think that the -rottenness of the bier and bars is a conclusive proof that there -isn't likely to be any sound wood discoverable here."</p> - -<p>"True," she returned. Immediately afterwards she added, exultingly, -"What idiots we are! As the men hadn't a key, they can't possibly -have locked us in, and there can't be any fastening except the bar -across the outside of the door. We never thought of that! As soon as -I get down and take away the bar, you can march out without trouble. -Off with your dress, and let's make that rope you talked of to let me -down with!"</p> - -<p>It seems extraordinary that neither of us had remembered this simple -solution of the difficulty sooner; yet so it was. Now that it had at -last occurred to us, however, we lost no time in going to work. Our -garments were instantly put into requisition, and twisted and knotted -into as good an imitation of a rope as we could construct out of such -materials. The end which had a loop to it was hung out of the window, -whilst I retained the other end in my hands, and Kitty, placing her -feet in the loop, began to lower herself gently.</p> - -<p>As long as she could keep hold of the window her weight was thrown -partly on her hands; thus I had not the whole of it to support until -during the last few seconds, when, taking her feet out of the loop, -letting go of the window, and clinging only to the rope, she -descended as near as she could to the ground. I held on to the rope -with might and main, till the tension relaxed with a sudden jerk that -threw me down, and informed me that she had regained <i class="loanword">terra firma</i>.</p> - -<p>"Sprained ankle, broken bones, or anything of that kind?" I asked, -anxiously.</p> - -<p>"No, not hurt a bit," was the welcome response. "I'll get the door -open as quickly as I can; will you begin undoing the rope meanwhile?"</p> - -<p>"All right!" I returned, commencing to restore it to its normal -condition of clothes as fast as I could in the dark. As I worked I -listened hopefully to the scratching and fumbling that went on -outside, and expected every moment to hear the downfall of the bar. -But the minutes passed on, and still the looked-for sound did not -come. I could not understand what could be causing so much delay -about so simple a matter as removing a bar from across a door, and I -began to grow feverishly nervous lest any unforeseen obstacle should -even now intervene, and deprive me of the freedom I had begun to -anticipate confidently. My alarm was not unfounded, for, to my -dismay, she called out:</p> - -<p>"This bar is so dreadfully heavy that I can't raise it. I can only -move one end at a time, and lift it up a very small way above the -support it stands on; but not high enough for what I want."</p> - -<p>Then it was all over with me, and I was fated to stay there alone to -be cut to pieces, or murdered in any way that might seem good to -those two ruffians! And when I had thought, too, that I was so sure -of getting away! The bitterness of the disappointment seemed to choke -me for a minute, so that I could not speak. However, when I could -control my voice, I shouted to her:</p> - -<p>"There's no help for it! You can't get back inside again now, even if -you wish to. So you've no choice about going away. Goodbye!"</p> - -<p>"I'm not at an end of my resources yet," she replied. "I've thought -of something fresh. I'm going away for a few minutes, but I shall be -back directly."</p> - -<p>The sound of her steps gave me notice of her departure from and -return to the chapel. Then ensued much scraping, scratching, and -other noises, to which I listened with intense anxiety, longing to -know what she was about, yet fearing to ask, lest, if I interrupted -her with questions, I might perhaps hinder my deliverance.</p> - -<p>Her operations meanwhile, as I afterwards learnt, were as -follows:—First, she went to fetch a supply of stones of various -sizes. Returning with these, she put her shoulder underneath one end -of the bar, and exerting all her strength, raised it as high as she -could above the broad projecting piece of iron on which it rested. -Then, before removing her shoulder, she inserted between the iron -support and the bar enough stones to maintain the latter at the place -to which she had raised it. This performance many times repeated, at -last elevated that end so far above the other that the bar was all -slanting, and only needed one vigorous push to set it in motion, -sliding downwards across the iron projection on which the opposite -end was supported. Moving slowly at first, the massive bar went -faster and faster every instant as its own weight gave it additional -impetus, till it dashed on to the ground with a resounding clang that -seemed to me the sweetest music that ever gladdened the ears of -mortal man or woman. I immediately pushed against the door. It -yielded slowly, and next minute I was emancipated from that horrible -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i>, and standing beside Kitty, free in the open air -once more.</p> - -<p>To describe the rapture of that moment is beyond my powers. If any -one wants to know true bliss for once in their lives, I recommend -them to go through a similar experience. Only they must take into -account the possibility of <em>not</em> escaping after all; which is -evidently a serious drawback, since a failure in that respect would -be quite fatal to the object of the experiment.</p> - -<h2 id="c3">CHAPTER III.<br /> - -<small>OFF FROM CORSICA.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">We had no means of knowing how far advanced the night might be, but -we knew that our enemies intended to return early in the morning; we -saw that the moon was waning, and we naturally wished to get away -from the vicinity of the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle mortuaire</i> with all possible -expedition. Having been obliged to partially undress ourselves in -order to find materials for the rope, we began hastily resuming such -articles of attire as had been taken off; whilst thus engaged Kitty -said:</p> - -<p>"It seems to me rather a chance that we don't run straight into the -arms of those two villains when we leave this place. I don't the -least know which way to go; for, except that we're in Corsica, I have -uncommonly little notion of where we are. Have you?"</p> - -<p>"Well, only this much," I replied; "in coming here we travelled a -good deal more uphill than down, so I expect we must be in rather -high ground. And when our captors left us I heard them say they -were going to a cave in the mountains, so they will be coming here -from somewhere above. Therefore, I think, we must obviously guide -ourselves by the rule of going always downhill, if we want to reach a -safe district, and keep out of harm's way."</p> - -<p>"Yes; there's sense in that," answered she. "Downhill shall be our -rule, as you say. But first of all, here's this enclosing wall to be -got out of. We shall have to find some way of climbing over it, -unless we can open the gate."</p> - -<p>Luckily, however, the gate had only been swung to, and not fastened; -so we had no difficulty in passing through it. Outside there was a -roughly made road, much overgrown in consequence of long disuse, and -going in two opposite directions.</p> - -<p>"Come along," said Kitty; "roads almost always lead <em>somewhere</em>, -and it is to be hoped this one is no exception; then we shall find -ourselves at some inhabited locality or other at last. The way to the -right goes downwards, I think."</p> - -<p>Off we set to the right, therefore, at full speed, and ran ourselves -out of breath; then we walked till we had got enough fresh wind to -begin running again; then ran till we were blown again; and so on, -recommencing as before, and ever and anon listening anxiously for -any sounds of pursuit. For though it was not yet the time when the -robbers had announced they would return to us, yet our fears -suggested the possibility of their having changed their minds, and -gone back to the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chapelle</i> sooner than they had intended. Presently -the moon set; and after that the unevenness of the track and the -darkness combined caused us to stumble, slip, and fall several times. -But we did not slacken pace on that account, and continued our -headlong flight, till at last we came to a road which was so much -broader and better than the one we had hitherto been following, that -we had little doubt of its being the route <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">nationale</i>.</p> - -<p>We had now a comfortable sensation of being once more within reach of -protection; and shortly afterwards we were yet further cheered by a -sound behind us of wheels, horses' feet, and jingling bells, which -announced that some vehicle was approaching. We hailed it as soon as -it came up to us; but found, to our disgust, that our shouts produced -no effect; for no one paid the slightest attention to them, and -the thing lumbered heavily past in the darkness, giving a general -impression of length and bulk which made us guess it to be a -diligence, though we could not see it clearly. Having no fancy to be -thus ignored and left behind, we gave chase, and quickly overtook the -slowly-moving conveyance as it crawled up a hill. Being one of the -mail diligences it had a letter-box hanging at the back, just above a -broad low step, which it was easy to mount and descend from whilst -the vehicle was in motion; thus any one with letters to post could -jump up, consign them to the box, and get down again without causing -any stoppage, so that the diligence was a sort of moving post-office. -This step was most convenient to us at this moment. There was room -enough for us both to sit upon it, and we very soon established -ourselves in this muddy but not uncomfortable situation, rejoicing -greatly at the welcome rest and security which it afforded. None of -the people inside the diligence attempted to dislodge us, or took any -notice of us, so I imagine either that our proceeding must have been -too ordinary a one to attract attention, or else that they were all -fast asleep. On the horses trotted again when the top of the hill was -reached; the mud-splashes bespattered us freely, and we had to hold -tight for fear of being shaken off by some severer jolt than usual; -but we maintained our position till the carriage, after travelling -some distance, came to a standstill, and some one began to get down. -Then, fearing lest gratuitous conveyance might be objected to, we got -off and stood aside to reconnoitre before showing ourselves.</p> - -<p>It appeared that the reason of the halt was our having reached an inn -at which some one in the diligence was going to alight. The house -door stood wide open, which indicated, I suppose, that accommodation -might be had within by any one who could manage to awake one of the -inhabitants; but otherwise there was no sign of readiness for guests; -the premises were totally unlighted; there was no guardian—human or -canine—to give notice of the arrival of either friend or foe, nor -was there any bell or other means of summons.</p> - -<p>The diligence having drawn up opposite to this primitive hotel, -one of the passengers got out with a bag in his hand, and the -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> descended from his perch bearing a lantern. Then they -entered the house, and as they did so the lantern went out, and we -heard them go stumbling and groping their way in the dark upstairs to -the first floor. Here there was a fastened door, which prevented a -further advance, and a considerable amount of knocking, kicking, and -bawling ensued, till some inmate was at last aroused to come and see -what was wanted. Up to this moment the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> had appeared to -consider himself as to some extent bound to look after the passenger -whom his vehicle had conveyed there; but the instant his ears had -assured him of the fact of there being a living person in the inn, he -evidently felt that <em>his</em> duty in the matter was at an end, and all -responsibility for the traveller henceforth transferred to the -landlord. No sooner, therefore, were the first sounds audible of some -one stirring within than the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> left his charge to take -care of himself and came clattering downstairs and out into the -road again, without troubling himself to wait for the inner door -to be opened, in order to find out whether the new-comer could be -accommodated, or whether, perhaps, the little hostelry might be -already full—in which case the visitor would have had no option -about passing the rest of the night in the street, unless he had -preferred going on again in the diligence.</p> - -<p>"Not much like English ideas of travelling and arriving at a hotel, -is it?" whispered Kitty to me, with much truth.</p> - -<p>As soon as the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> returned to the road, we stepped up to -him, and Kitty asked if he would kindly tell us the name of this -place, and also what was the destination of the diligence, as we -were strangers who had got lost, and did not know where we were. He -looked at us with no little surprise, and answered that our present -situation was St. Marie Sicché, and that the diligence was on its way -to Ajaccio.</p> - -<p>This was a welcome piece of information. St. Marie Sicché was, it -will be remembered, the village where we had slept on the first night -of our driving-tour; consequently we were not in an altogether -strange district, and knew that we were within three or four hours of -Ajaccio, where the best part of our luggage was left, and where we -were more at home than in any other part of the island. There could -be no doubt that the best thing for us to do was to get there and -make ourselves comfortable at the hotel as soon as possible; and -then, when the telegraph offices should be open in the morning, we -would find out where Mrs. Rollin was, and relieve her mind as to our -safety. The only obstacle was that we had no money to pay for our -conveyance to Ajaccio; for the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">penitenciers</i> had carried off -everything valuable that we possessed; and, therefore, unless we -could get credit, we must evidently be involved in a good deal of -bother and delay before we should be able to leave our present -situation, or do anything that we wanted to do.</p> - -<p>In this difficulty Kitty appealed to the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i>, telling him -that as we had been robbed, we were at that moment penniless; and -asking him whether he would take us in his diligence to Ajaccio, and -let us pay for our places after arriving there. She also told him the -name of the hotel where our baggage was left, and assured him that we -should have no difficulty in having our respectability guaranteed -there. The man hesitated, hummed and hawed, looked suspiciously at -us—muddy and untidy as we were—and did not seem much inclined to -believe her story. But after some trouble, she persuaded him to -consent to her request by promising to pay double the ordinary fare.</p> - -<p>Having thus settled the matter satisfactorily with him, we anticipated -no further difficulty, and were about to enter the interior of the -vehicle—both <i class="loanword">coupé</i> and <i class="loanword">banquette</i> being full—when we were -unexpectedly opposed by one of the passengers already established -there. The conversation had roused him from his slumbers; and -when Kitty attempted to get in, he started forward and protested -energetically against our admission. It was a shame to take up any -one else, he said, when he and his fellows were already "<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">pressés -comme des anchois</i>"; they had been crowded to the very verge of -possibility by the person who had just alighted; it was absurd to -think of cramming us two individuals into the space that that one had -occupied; he objected—he would complain to the authorities—it was -disgraceful to treat travellers in that way. Another diligence was -due in about ten or twelve hours, and we ought to wait, and take our -chance of finding places in that.</p> - -<p>The prospect of waiting at St. Marie Sicché for another ten or twelve -hours was by no means to our mind, and we were alarmed to see that -the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> seemed inclined to listen to the irate passenger. -But Kitty showed herself equal to the emergency. Turning promptly -to the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i>, she whispered to him that she hardly supposed -he was going to leave us for the benefit of any rival vehicle; and -that as it was important to her to get to Ajaccio at once, she -would give him treble the proper fare if he took us, instead of only -double, as previously agreed. He was evidently quite alive to the fact -that an extra high fare would give him the opportunity of pocketing a -nice little profit, by only paying the diligence company a single -fare and keeping the rest for himself; and her increased offer -put an end to his hesitation about introducing us into the already -full conveyance. Therefore he turned a deaf ear to the other man's -expostulations—thoroughly well-founded though they were—proceeded -to make room somehow or other, and finally stowed us away without -heeding the discontented sleepy grunts and growls of the victims whom -we had forced to compress themselves into an unnaturally small space. -Then he shut us all in, climbed back to his place, and the journey -was resumed.</p> - -<p>The interior of a hot, crowded, stuffy diligence, packed closely with -garlic-eating Corsicans clad in strong-smelling garments, would not -generally be deemed a very inviting haven of repose. Yet it seemed so -to us just then; for we were tired enough to find rest anywhere -delicious, and were too full of joy at having escaped from serious -danger to grumble at such trifling annoyances as mere discomfort and -unpleasant odours.</p> - -<p>A couple of hours' jolting brought us to Cauro, where the horses -were changed; thence we continued our course to Ajaccio, which was -reached soon after seven in the morning. Stiff and fatigued as we -were, we should have been glad of a <i class="loanword">fiacre</i> to take us from the -<i class="loanword">diligence-bureau</i> to the hotel; but no <i class="loanword">fiacre</i> was to be had at -that early hour, so we set off walking, accompanied (I need hardly -say) by an envoy sent by the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">conducteur</i> to find out whether -the account we had given of ourselves was a true one.</p> - -<p>As we were going up the street I saw a couple of smart-looking -sailors coming towards us. The sight of them suddenly reminded me -that there was a chance of Lord Clement's being still at Ajaccio, -which possibility I had till then forgotten. If he were within reach, -would Kitty turn willingly to him as a protector and counsellor, I -wondered?</p> - -<p>"Those two look like sailors from a yacht," said I; "if they should -happen to belong to <i class="name">La Catalina</i>, I suppose you will send word by -them to Lord Clement that you have returned, won't you?"</p> - -<p>"No! what would be the good of that?" she answered sharply, and not -at all as if she was in any hurry to meet her noble admirer again. -But second thoughts made her change her mind, for she added: "Well, -yes; perhaps it would be as well to let him know we're back, if he -<em>does</em> happen to be still here. Both you and I are dead tired; and he -could go and see to telegraphing, and all that's got to be done, -while we rest. Besides that, in spite of the principles of equality -of these republicans, I strongly suspect that a person who is rich, a -man, and an earl, stands a better chance of being attended to by the -authorities than a mere commonplace woman. So, on the whole, I -daresay he would be useful just now to act as agent for me."</p> - -<p>When we were close to the sailors we saw that they were part of the -crew of <i class="name">La Catalina</i>, as her name was visible upon their hats -and jerseys.</p> - -<p>"Is Lord Clement on board <i class="name">La Catalina</i>?" asked Kitty.</p> - -<p>The two tars stopped and stared in evident surprise at being accosted -in their own tongue in the streets of Ajaccio at that early hour in -the morning.</p> - -<p>"Ay, ay," answered one of them.</p> - -<p>"Just go back to the yacht at once then," returned Kitty, "and tell -him that Miss Mervyn has returned here, and has gone to the hotel -where she was staying before, and will be glad to see him there as -soon as possible."</p> - -<p>The men, who did not in the least recognise us, stared more than ever -at hearing themselves ordered about in this fashion by one of two -strange women presenting the extraordinary appearance which Kitty and -I did at that moment. For it must be remembered that we had been -splashed with mud from head to foot as we sat on the step of the -diligence; that our clothes were torn, rumpled, and put on anyhow; -that our hair was horribly disheveled; and that we were altogether -as untidy-looking objects as could well be imagined.</p> - -<p>Evidently the sailors did not know what to make of us, and were -undecided, for a moment, whether to do what they were told, or to be -impertinent. But Kitty bore the stamp of high birth and breeding -marked too plainly for it to be concealed by disreputable externals; -and she spoke with the calmly-commanding manner of a person who is -accustomed to be obeyed. The sailors were not insensible to this -influence, and could not help recognising her as a legitimate -authority, notwithstanding the peculiarity of her appearance. When, -therefore, she repeated what she had said before, and again told -them to be off at once, they looked at one another sheepishly, -touched their hats, and departed obediently in the direction of the -harbour. And that they executed their commission faithfully was -proved by the promptitude with which Lord Clement arrived at our -hotel and asked for Miss Mervyn.</p> - -<p>Poor young man! thought I, as I watched him going upstairs to her -room. I do not suppose you will be very pleased at what you are going -to hear; for your Mrs. Grundy-loving nature is sure to abhor -eccentric adventures; and I do not expect you will enjoy that your -lady-love should be known to have been the heroine of such an unusual -experience as Kitty has just gone through! Judging by the annoyed and -disturbed expression on his countenance when the interview with her -was over, and he left the hotel, I imagine that my anticipations were -not far wrong, and that his sense of propriety and of the fitness of -things was greatly shocked at what had occurred to the young lady -whom he desired to marry. His annoyance, however, did not prevent him -from taking all trouble off her shoulders as far as possible; and he -made himself useful by telegraphing to various places till he had -discovered Mrs. Rollin; then informing her that we were safe at -Ajaccio; and also giving notice to the police of the nefarious -proceedings of César and Napoleon.</p> - -<p>Our loss had thrown Mrs. Rollin into a state of anxiety, nervousness, -and discomposure, which none of the French novels she had with her -had sufficed to calm. She had gone on hourly exciting herself more -and more against Corsica and all its people, until she had worked -herself into an unreasoning aversion to it and them. Consequently, -when she rejoined us at Ajaccio, which she did on the evening of the -day that we had returned there, the one fixed idea in her mind was, -that she would never know a moment's ease or happiness as long as -she remained in the island, and that we must get away from it -immediately.</p> - -<p>On hearing our adventures she declared that what had happened was -fearful, ghastly, and shocking, but yet no more than was to be -expected in an out-of-the-way, uncivilised, poverty-stricken country -where nobody went, where the inhabitants lived without milk and -butter, and where every one was a savage or thief, or both. She very -deeply regretted having let herself be overpersuaded to come to this -Corsica; but, at all events, no power on earth should induce her to -stay in such a vile, odious, unsafe, abominable place any longer. -Besides, though the two <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">penitenciers</i> would probably never be -captured, yet still, supposing by any accident that they <em>were</em> -caught, and Kitty was within reach, then the girl would be wanted to -give evidence against them, and that was another reason for taking -flight at once. Else there would be the risk of Kitty's having to -appear in a police-court, take oaths, be cross-examined and badgered -by vulgar lawyers, and all that sort of thing, which was quite unfit -for a lady to undergo. And what depths the vulgarity of lawyers in a -republican country might reach, she, Mrs. Rollin, was afraid to -think! Of course she by no means expected that the robbers <em>would</em> be -taken; but as there was a possibility of such a thing, it was her -duty to provide for it.</p> - -<p>When she stopped to take breath, Kitty inquired why she was so -certain that the culprits would not be recaptured, and that set her -off again. She had seen, she said, enough of Corsicans by this time -to convince her that they were all rogues alike, and all in collusion -with one another. In hopes of keeping us staying on and on, and -spending money amongst them, they might perhaps talk big, and declare -that the offenders would soon be under lock and key; but meanwhile -they would be let to escape quietly; or, if caught, good care would -be taken that they should not be convicted. But <em>she</em> wasn't going to -be so silly as to be made a fool of by these Corsicans, and to play -into their hands by remaining there longer. No, thank you! She had -discovered that there would be a steamer to Marseilles on the -following day, and by that steamer she intended to go. And besides -everything else, there was yet another reason, she averred, why she -must now begin to make her way homewards. She found, from letters she -had just received, that matters of business made it necessary for -her to return to England sooner than she had expected. She must -positively have a week's shopping in Paris on the way back, and she -would not have time for this unless she started at once. Therefore it -was, in every respect, out of the question that we should prolong our -visit to this detestable island.</p> - -<p>Her mind was made up too firmly to be shaken, and on the next day we -quitted Ajaccio in <i class="name">La Catalina</i>—Lord Clement having again placed -that vessel at my two ladies' disposal. I am afraid, however, that -this act of civility did not bring him the satisfaction that he -probably expected. For Kitty, instead of making herself agreeable -during the voyage, professed to be headachy, and remained alone in a -cabin; and as soon as Marseilles was reached, she and her aunt said -goodbye to him, and set off for Paris by the next <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">rapide</i>. Very -possibly he would have liked to accompany them there. But then -yachting was his ostensible occupation at the present time; and if he -deserted his yacht to go to Paris, people would be sure to talk, -shrug shoulders, and say that there certainly was something on -between him and Kitty. Though all this would not matter supposing it -to be followed promptly by the announcement that they were engaged, -yet, under other circumstances, it would in his eyes be highly -undesirable; therefore he stuck to <i class="name">La Catalina</i>.</p> - -<p>As for me, I was a good deal disappointed, for I had been looking -forward with vindictive pleasure to the chance of bearing witness -against Messrs. César and Napoleon, and I grudged the hasty departure -from Corsica which deprived me of this chance. A few days later I saw -in a newspaper that they had been caught, and relegated to their -former quarters in prison at Chiavari. That was some comfort, no -doubt; but nothing like as satisfactory as it would have been to have -contributed, in my own person, to bring about their punishment.</p> - -<h2 id="c4">CHAPTER IV.<br /> - -<small>CAPTAIN NORROY APPEARS.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">I have already said that the circumstances connected with the -photograph which I had found in Kitty's purse had made me fancy that -there was some secret reason for her regarding Captain Edward Norroy -differently from the rest of mankind; and I have said, also, that I -was hoping some day to see him and her together, on chance that I -might then succeed in discovering a clue to a right comprehension -of what the relations between them were. This opportunity which I -desired came unexpectedly on the day after our arrival in Paris, and -was brought about in the following manner.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Rollin was determined that she and Kitty must be photographed by -a Paris photographer named Raoul, who was at that time so much the -rage amongst fashionable people that to be in his town and not profit -by the opportunity of having her likeness done by him, would have -been a sin of omission which would have lain heavy on her conscience -for the rest of her existence—or, at all events, for as long as he -continued to be the fashion. It was, of course, necessary in the -first place to ascertain when it would suit the great man to take the -photograph. For this purpose she had intended to go to his studio -in person on the day after reaching Paris; but as she happened to be -a little out of sorts on that day, she preferred to stay at home -reading <cite lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Rocambole</cite>, and send Kitty in her stead, under my escort, -to make the requisite appointment. At the studio we found a polite -assistant, who was quite in despair to think that the ladies should -be obliged to wait; but as his <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">patron</i> was just then engaged, he -feared it was inevitable that they should do so, unless their -business was of a nature which he, the assistant, could transact -for them. If so, he should be proud and honoured to receive their -commands.</p> - -<p>Now Mrs. Rollin, having been much exercised in her mind as to whether -it would be more <i class="loanword">chic</i> to be done in morning or evening attire, had -particularly instructed Kitty to refer the matter to Raoul, and find -out his opinion about it. Consequently she declined the assistant's -offer of his services with thanks, and said that she would wait till -Monsieur Raoul was disengaged. On this we were shown into the -waiting-room, which was as dreary as the rest of its kind, and where -we endeavoured to find amusement by inspecting the various specimens -of the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">patron's</i> art that were dispersed on the table.</p> - -<p>We were thus employed, and I was standing with my back to the -door, when it opened to admit some one; at the same instant I saw -Kitty—who was looking that way—flush violently and suddenly, and, -on turning round, I perceived that the new-comer was Captain Norroy.</p> - -<p>I need hardly say that I was immediately all eyes and ears for what -would take place; and that my subsequent inspection of photographs -was a mere pretence, which I kept up in order that the young couple -might not suspect how attentively I was studying them.</p> - -<p>They shook hands, exchanged greetings, and then went on to talk of -the weather, the state of the streets, the hotels at which they were -staying, etc., just as any ordinary acquaintances would do. There -was not the faintest trace of consciousness about Captain Norroy's -manner; and he was so evidently free from any kind of special emotion -connected with Kitty, that I doubted, for a moment, whether my -surmises might after all have been wrong. But then, again, I felt -confirmed in them by Kitty, who was certainly not as cool and -unembarrassed as was the captain. The first flush caused by his -entrance had nearly died out; but there still lingered a tinge of -unwonted colour on her cheeks, and a more than commonly brilliant -light in her eyes. In both her look and manner of speaking I could -detect a shade of nervousness, of pleasure, of restraint, of -something different to usual, which I was unable to interpret. It was -a difference so slight as to have been, probably, imperceptible to -any one who did not know her well; but to me it was so plainly -visible that I felt sure I was not mistaken about it.</p> - -<p>As it happened, the conversation presently took a turn which supplied -me with such a clue as I wanted in order to read the riddle which had -been perplexing me, and to arrive at some idea of how matters stood -between these two people, in whom my interest had been excited.</p> - -<p>The captain, looking at his watch, observed that Raoul was not very -punctual, as it was already twenty minutes past the time when he had -said that he would be ready to photograph the captain.</p> - -<p>"What! are you actually going to be photographed?" said Kitty, -laughing. "I can hardly believe it possible when I remember the -vehemence with which I have heard you declare that, having gone -through the operation once, you never would again. You professed to -think it an intolerable bore."</p> - -<p>"Yes—so I did, and so I do still," he replied; "but I'm going to -sacrifice myself nobly for the sake of other people. You see almost -every one, now-a-days, has a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">carte-de-visite</i> book, which they are -desirous of filling by hook or by crook. Consequently, one is -constantly being entreated for a photo by even one's most casual -acquaintances. One don't like to be always refusing to do what one's -asked, because it makes one feel such an ill-natured brute; but at -present I can't help saying no when I'm asked for a photo of myself, -for the very excellent reason that I haven't such a thing to give."</p> - -<p>"Why not?" inquired Kitty. "Haven't you the photos which were taken -on the solitary occasion when you <em>were</em> done?"</p> - -<p>"Ah! that attempt had no <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chance</i>, as the French say," he answered. -"My batch of copies fell into the fire directly they arrived, and -were all burnt except four, which I managed to rescue, and of which I -gave three to my mother and sisters, and the fourth to Lady Cantern, -who was just then perfectly ravenous for photos, because she and -her sister were in the midst of a race as to which could get her -photo-book filled the quickest. Of course this left me destitute of -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">cartes</i>, so I at once ordered a fresh lot from the photographer; but -the fates were evidently against me, for the original plate had been -accidentally cracked, so that no more copies could be struck from it. -Curiously enough, too, the bad luck which attended that photographic -effort pursued even the copy I gave Lady Cantern. You remember that -time you and I, and a lot of other people, were staying with her last -winter for balls, don't you? What a pleasant visit it was! and -especially that last <i class="loanword">cotillion</i> you and I danced together—wasn't it -delightful?"</p> - -<p>As Kitty assented, I noticed that she looked down somewhat nervously, -as if she wished to avoid all risk of having the recollections evoked -by the mention of that visit read in her face.</p> - -<p>"Well," he continued, "she says that she missed my photo out of -her book on the very day after her guests departed; and as she is -positive it was in its place just before, she declares some one of -them must have taken a fancy to it and carried it off. At first she -accused <em>me</em> of being the thief—as if it was likely I should care to -have such a caricature of myself as I considered it to be! I can't -imagine how she <em>could</em> suppose that any one would wish for such an -unflattering presentment of himself as long as looking-glasses -continue plentiful! However, I undeceived her on that point; and then -she said that if it wasn't I who had appropriated the thing, it must -have been some one else. My own idea is that she must have put it -away somewhere, and forgotten what she'd done with it. But, anyhow, -she hadn't discovered it when last I saw her, and I don't believe she -will—that batch had no <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chance</i>, as I said before. Ah! here comes -Raoul to lead off his victim. I shall have a few moments of grace -whilst you and he fix the date of your execution; and then——"</p> - -<p>Raoul's entrance terminated this conversation, to which I—whilst -making believe to be engrossed in the study of photographs—had -listened with the greatest attention. It seemed to me to throw fresh -light upon the matter that had been perplexing me hitherto.</p> - -<p>Evidently Kitty possessed a photograph of Captain Norroy of which -there were only four copies in existence. As neither of them had been -given to her, she must have come by it surreptitiously; and her -possession of it was, no doubt, to be explained by the mysterious -disappearance of Lady Cantern's copy immediately after Kitty had been -staying in her house.</p> - -<p>But though I thought there could be no doubt as to Kitty's having -been the person who purloined this precious <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">carte-de-visite</i>, I was -sorely puzzled to conjecture what possible motive she could have had -for doing so. After reflecting deeply on the problem, I could find no -solution of it except one, which did not seem to me to be altogether -likely. It was this. Had the handsome young captain perhaps touched -her heart more deeply than was expedient? and could she have fallen -in love with him? If so, that might explain the things that now -puzzled me: her stealing the photograph; the care with which it was -concealed; the emotion she had betrayed when I suddenly produced it; -and also the nervousness and peculiarity of manner I had noticed in -her when she met him at Raoul's.</p> - -<p>But however probable this theory might have appeared in the case of -some girls, it hardly seemed admissible when Kitty was the person -concerned. For as it was quite plain that the captain's sentiments -towards her were simply those of an ordinary acquaintance, it -followed that to suppose her to have a fancy for him involved -supposing that she cared for a man who did not return the compliment. -And her pride seemed to make such an idea impossible. Kitty Mervyn to -have an unrequited attachment, indeed! It was absurd even to think of -such a thing.</p> - -<p>Yet again, on the other hand, who could tell what caprice might not -rule an article so notoriously wayward as a woman's heart? And if -love overcomes bolts and bars, why should it not conquer the stiffest -pride also? Clearly it was foolish of me to think I could be <em>sure</em> -of how any person would act, when there was a possibility of a -strange and unknown quantity like love manifesting itself, upsetting -the best-founded calculations, and altering the whole aspect of -affairs.</p> - -<p>Still, I could scarcely bring myself to believe that Kitty would have -bestowed her affections on any one who did not seek them. Ah! but -then there was the question—had she perhaps imagined that they -<em>were</em> sought? This good-looking Captain Norroy was as pleasant in -manner as he was in personal appearance; his voice was soft and -caressing; he gave me the idea of being a lazy, good-humoured, -susceptible man, who would enjoy popularity with women and take pains -to be agreeable in their eyes; and who would unintentionally put an -appearance of earnestness into a mere passing flirtation, which would -make it dangerous to the other party. And possibly he had admired -Kitty, and flirted with her mildly, without meaning anything serious; -and possibly she had been deceived by his attentions into supposing -he was in love with her, and not discovered her error until her heart -was already touched.</p> - -<p>If that were so, I could not help pitying her; for I knew that the -knowledge of her own weakness and folly must be terribly galling to -her, and that she must be in a continual state of anxiety lest any -one should discover, or even suspect it. Yet I could imagine, too, -that the bitterness would be mingled with sweetness, in that she -would be always hoping he might some day return her love. It was a -hope that it would be most natural for her to entertain; for she -could not fail to know how generally attractive she was to his sex; -and as he was but a man like other men, was it not reasonable to -suppose that he too might be affected by charms which his fellows -seemed to find irresistible? And then the recollection of the -numerous admirers she had had, and for whom she cared nothing, took -my thoughts for a moment into a fresh channel, as I wondered whether -those victims would not have thought it a no more than just -retribution for her to give her affections without return. For I was -aware that some ill-natured people had been known to term her a -regular flirt; and I had heard of rejected suitors of hers who had -complained bitterly of the impartial amiability with which she -behaved to every one, and had declared that she did it with malicious -intent to lead men on to propose, in order that she might have the -pleasure of refusing them.</p> - -<p>Assuming her to be in love with Captain Norroy, I thought I could -form a pretty good guess as to what her feeling about Lord Clement -would be. Her pride would be all in his favour; for pride would be -up in arms at the idea of her waiting to see if the captain would -condescend to throw his handkerchief to her, and would urge her to -terminate so humiliating a situation by marrying some one else. And -thus pride would be a powerful auxiliary to the soaring ambition and -desire to be amongst the great ones of the earth, which were marked -features of her character. All this would evidently prompt her to -accept Lord Clement and the high rank and position he had to offer; -and I could only account for her not having done so already, by -supposing that the voice of natural inclination had made itself heard -on the other side. Perhaps it had pleaded with her not to be in a -hurry, and not rashly to render impossible a happiness that might -still be hers if she would have the patience to wait awhile longer. -Perhaps the struggle between pride and love was going on within her -now, and she had not yet determined which voice to listen to. If so, -I could by no means hazard an opinion as to what the issue was likely -to be; and it seemed to me an even chance which would gain the -mastery.</p> - -<p>How far were all these speculations and conjectures of mine right? -That remained to be proved; and I felt as if fate had kindly assigned -to me a good situation in the front row whence to watch the progress -of a play which it amused me to look on at. Yet, as it must interfere -with one's enjoyment of a play to get excited about its termination, -I should certainly have preferred for some other than Kitty to be the -chief performer. For I was half afraid that I might find I cared for -her too much to remain an altogether indifferent spectator where her -happiness was seriously concerned.</p> - -<h2 id="c5">CHAPTER V.<br /> - -<small>A NEWSPAPER PARAGRAPH.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">Of course Mrs. Rollin and Kitty had a deal of shopping to do in -Paris; for to be in that town and not buy clothes is—to most -feminine minds—an unpardonable sinning of one's mercies. The -dressmaker whom they elected to give their orders to was a certain -Madame Jarrot, much patronised by the fashionable world; and having -made an appointment with her at her own residence, they proceeded -thither to keep it one day soon after the visit to the photographer -which was related in the last chapter.</p> - -<p>Now I liked much better to sit in their drawing-room than in the poky -little garret which was my bedroom; and when they did not want the -sitting-room themselves, I never saw any reason why I should not -avail myself of it. No sooner, therefore, were they safe off than -I betook myself there, and proceeded to make myself comfortable, -according to my usual practice, during their absence. Lying on the -table were some English newspapers that had just arrived, and I began -to read them. In a column devoted to fashionable intelligence, I -presently came upon the following paragraph—to me most entirely -unexpected.</p> - -<p>"The Duke of Murkshire and his family, who are at present in the -French metropolis, will probably return at an early date to their -ancestral halls, in order to make preparations for the marriage of -his Grace's eldest daughter, Lady Emma, to Captain Edward Norroy of -the Scots Fusilier Guards. The engagement of the young couple has -just been announced, and the wedding is, we understand, to take place -shortly."</p> - -<p>When I had read this I laid down the paper, feeling perfectly -dazed. Captain Norroy going to be married to this Lady Emma! In my -speculations about Kitty and her love affairs I had—without being -aware of it—invariably put aside as absurd the idea of its being -possible that any one whom she might honour with her preference -<em>could</em> remain indifferent to her; and therefore I had all along -been unconsciously taking it for granted that Captain Norroy must -inevitably fall in love with her sooner or later; and that if she did -not eventually become his wife, it would not be at any rate for want -of the opportunity. I knew well enough that I myself should have been -at her feet if she had but held up her little finger to me. And as -one is apt to consider it a matter of course that attractions by -which one is oneself fascinated must be equally irresistible to -other people, it was consequently not much to be wondered at that I -should now be utterly taken aback at finding the man whom I believed -her to care for was going to marry some one else.</p> - -<p>The thing seemed to me hardly credible. He must be blind—a dolt and -fool—to have a prize like Kitty within his reach, and let it slip! -Why, there was no one so attractive and charming as she was; she was -(in my eyes) quite incomparable. And though I had never seen this -Lady Emma, and knew nothing whatever about her, I was none the less -firmly convinced that she could not hold a candle to Kitty in any -single respect.</p> - -<p>How would Kitty take the news, I wondered? Had she any expectation of -it? Had the possibility of such a thing ever occurred to her? No; I -had an intuitive conviction to the contrary. When she had met him at -Raoul's her manner had shown not only shyness and nervousness, there -had been something more—something indefinable, of pleasure and -hope—which made me feel sure that she had believed him to be -heart-whole, and not the property of any other girl, or about to -become so. Had she been in England, she would no doubt have heard -some of the gossip by which the engagements of people conspicuous in -society are usually preceded, but her recent absence abroad had, of -course, prevented any rumours of a flirtation between Captain Norroy -and Lady Emma from reaching her ears, and she must now be totally -unprepared to hear they were going to be married. Of course, it would -not matter to her an atom if she were fancy-free about him, and if -the romance I had constructed was a baseless one. But then I was -almost positive that it was <em>not</em> baseless, and that the news would -be a blow to her, though she would doubtless strain every nerve to -conceal that fact.</p> - -<p>My poor Kitty, thought I sorrowfully; and, immediately afterwards, -laughed at my own folly. How could I be so silly as to prefix the -possessive pronoun singular to the name of a person who was not mine -at all? Though she had always been kind and courteous to me, yet her -manner showed plainly that she regarded me as one of an inferior -order, between whom and herself existed, naturally, an impassable -barrier; and knowing this, why should I concern myself about her -troubles, as if she and I had been on terms of equality and intimate -friendship? It would be ridiculous to do anything of the kind. Had I -not resolved before now that I would put a check upon the inclination -to be fascinated by her, of which I was conscious? Certainly I had; -and yet how was I keeping that resolution if I let myself take her -affairs to heart, and feel sorry for her, and indignant with Captain -Norroy, as I was inclined to be at that moment? Provoked to see in -myself such a disposition to be weakly sentimental, I was glad when -my common-sense and turn for ridicule bestirred themselves, and -applied mentally a douche of cold water which cooled down my first -absurd impulse to be her ardent partisan.</p> - -<p>After all, her affairs were no business of mine, and it was mere -folly to let myself be vexed about them in any way. It could do no -possible good, and I should be simply making myself uncomfortable for -nothing. Besides, if she could see into my mind, I might be very sure -that she would not approve of her maid's presuming to take so much -interest in her affairs, and would consider me impertinent and -officious.</p> - -<p>Sensible reflections of this kind effectually repressed my previous -tendency to a foolish soft-heartedness; and I resumed my interrupted -perusal of the newspaper, and amused myself placidly during the rest -of the afternoon till nearly dinner-time, when my mistresses -returned.</p> - -<p>I went to dress Kitty, wondering whether or not she had yet heard of -Captain Norroy's engagement. Anyhow, if she had, it had not troubled -her at all, for she was evidently in excellent spirits; and in that -respect presented a marked contrast to her aunt, who came into her -room during toilette operations, and who—as it was easy to see—had -something on her mind which disturbed her. At first, I took it into -my head, from this uneasiness, that Mrs. Rollin must have some -suspicion of her niece's being attached to Captain Norroy, and -that, having heard of his engagement to Lady Emma, she must now be -worrying herself as to how Kitty would take the news, and as to the -unhappiness the girl might suffer on account of it. But, from what -was said, I speedily discovered that Mrs. Rollin's disquietude arose -from a very different cause—neither more nor less than a pair of -stays.</p> - -<p>"Do you know, Kitty," she said, "that I've been thinking, ever since -we left Jarrot's, of your flat refusal to have anything to do with -that pair of stays she wanted you to wear. I cannot feel satisfied -that you decided wisely. It's still not too late to change your mind, -you know. Are you <em>sure</em> you won't give them a trial, and see how you -like them?"</p> - -<p>Kitty laughed as if the scene at the dressmaker's was an amusing one -to recollect.</p> - -<p>"Yes, I'm quite positive I won't," she answered; "they were at least -three inches too small for me, and I really <em>couldn't</em> consent to -such a wholesale diminution of the circumference of my waist! I -suppose you are moved to plead for them by the recollection of -Jarrot's horror and distress when she found my objection to them was -quite invincible. Really I don't wonder. Her look of shocked and -surprised grief would have been pathetic if the cause hadn't made it -comic; and I was quite sorry to have to wound her feelings so -deeply."</p> - -<p>"Oh no, my dear, of course, it isn't <em>that</em>," returned Mrs. Rollin, -somewhat pettishly; "what have I got to do with a dressmaker's -feelings? But what I was thinking of was, her declaring that small -waists are becoming so much the rage as to be almost indispensable; -and that no lady who cares to be <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">bien mise</i> ever <em>thinks</em> of -objecting to have her waist reduced to the smallest size possible. -Jarrot is safe to be a good authority on the subject, because she is -employed by quite the <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">crème de la crème</i> of society. I am afraid you -think only of what you like; and forget that people who don't do the -same as their fellows are sure to be rash, even if not wrong."</p> - -<p>"Only, then, one must draw a line somewhere," replied Kitty; "and -I draw it at having my internal arrangements shoved out of their -places. Not even to possess a small waist will I endure that! Jarrot -regarded it as a mere temporary inconvenience, to which I should soon -get reconciled, because she thought that what is comfortable is -simply whatever one was used to. But there I don't agree with her. It -amused me to see how confidently she quoted <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">il faut souffrir pour -être belle</i>, as if that must certainly settle the question. Somehow -or other, even that argument failed to persuade me to make myself -ill, though I am not a whit more deficient in vanity and care for my -personal appearance than the rest of my sex."</p> - -<p>Mrs. Rollin sighed. "If you won't, you won't, of course," she said; -"still I should have thought you might have made the attempt to do as -others do, just for a little bit, as she wanted you to."</p> - -<p>"You see I'm too fond of my precious comfort," answered Kitty, -merrily; "and, do you know, aunty, I've a great idea that I'm not -the only person in the family with that weakness, and that you, too, -sometimes like to go your own way, even if it isn't exactly the -cut-and-dried path followed by every one else."</p> - -<p>"Kitty, Kitty, you shouldn't say things like that," expostulated her -aunt; "you know that I consider being different from other people to -be a proof of an ill-regulated mind; and that, therefore, to accuse -me of eccentric tastes is equivalent to saying I deserve blame. -Please remember that I <em>strongly</em> object to your speaking in such a -most inconsiderate manner."</p> - -<p>"All right, aunt," said Kitty, good humouredly; "I'm sorry I vexed -you—I'll be more careful another time. I didn't for a moment mean to -imply that you aren't all you should be, you know."</p> - -<p>But though she said this, I don't think it followed that she believed -Mrs. Rollin's mind to be always in absolute conformity with its own -standard of perfection. Anyhow, there was a twinkle in Kitty's eye, -which made me doubtful on the subject.</p> - -<p>Their toilettes being now completed, they descended to dinner, -leaving me quite satisfied that Kitty had no secret grief oppressing -her. It must be one of two things, then, I thought, as I watched her -going downstairs: either my theory is wrong from beginning to end, or -else she as yet knows nothing of this approaching marriage. However, -it is very likely that she may not have had time to look at the -papers yet, as they had only just come before she went out.</p> - -<p>When next I saw her it was very different; and I no longer doubted -that I had been right in thinking she cared for Captain Norroy. About -an hour after dinner was over I was in her room arranging some -clothes, when the door opened, and she entered. Her head was -drooping, instead of being carried proudly thrown back as usual; -her face was deadly pale, and wore an expression of misery. On seeing -her like this, I felt sure that she must have just read the paragraph -concerning him, and had rushed off to be alone, so that she might be -relieved from the irksome restraint imposed by the presence of other -people, and might let her features relax for a while into whatever -expression of pain came natural to them.</p> - -<p>In taking refuge in her own room she had evidently forgotten the -possibility of any one being there; for as soon as she saw me she -started violently, and seemed to strive to replace the mask, and look -the same as usual for a few moments longer.</p> - -<p>"You can leave those things for the present, Jill," she said, -controlling her voice with an effort; "I have come to lie down, as I -have rather a bad headache."</p> - -<p>I saw she longed to have me gone, and as I did not want to add to her -troubles, I prepared to take myself off as quickly as possible. But I -was bound to play my part of lady's-maid; and as I knew that it would -be an unheard-of solecism for such an official not to profess -sympathy—whether she really felt it or not—with her mistress' -ailments, I was obliged to pause a moment before departing, that I -might express concern for her headache, and ask if I should bring her -a cup of tea or coffee, or if there was anything else I could do for -her. My offer, however, was not accepted.</p> - -<p>"All I want is to be left quiet," she said, rather impatiently; "if I -want you I will ring."</p> - -<p>I withdrew accordingly. She stayed in her room by herself during the -remainder of the evening, saying that her headache was still bad. -At bedtime she summoned me to assist her as usual, and I thought -she looked perfectly wretched. She meant, however, to keep up -appearances, for when her aunt came in to inquire how she was, and -say good night, she exerted herself to seem as lively as usual. She -declared that her headache was all the fault of those stays Jarrot -had wanted her to have. The mere idea of such an enormity of tininess -had so shocked her nerves, liver, lungs, brain, and organs in -general, that they had felt bound to make some forcible demonstration -of disgust; and the demonstration had taken the shape of a headache. -A night's rest would put her all right, she said, if she did not -dream about those horrid stays; but if she were to have a nightmare -about wearing them, she really could not say <em>what</em> might be the -consequences to her health. This nonsense was uttered with enough of -her customary vivacity to deceive Mrs. Rollin, who went away, quite -satisfied that there was nothing the matter except an ordinary -headache. But <em>I</em> thought differently. I had seen Kitty's lips -quivering while she spoke, and had seen unmistakable traces of tears -in her eyes; I had felt that her head was burning hot, and the rest -of her body like ice; and these things made me believe that there was -something more amiss with her than a mere commonplace headache.</p> - -<p>When I had performed my duties for the night, and gone to my own -room, my heart <em>would</em> keep aching for her, in spite of my efforts to -restore it to its habitual condition of sensible hardness. Our recent -adventures in Corsica had taught me that she would face death and -danger unflinchingly; and I knew her to be exceptionally proud, -strong, and brave. Yet for all her strength, courage, and pride, she -seemed to be almost broken down to-night. And it naturally moves one -more to see such a person as that give way than to witness the -upsetting of a weaker mortal.</p> - -<p>Anxiety about her, as I pictured to myself her solitary suffering, -and longed to be able to comfort her, kept me awake and restless. -What if she were to have a brain fever, or a nervous fever, or some -other kind of illness such as I had heard of being brought on by a -sudden mental shock? Perhaps at that very moment she was ill, and in -need of assistance. So uneasy did I become, that at last I could stay -away from her no longer, but determined to relieve my mind by going -at once to assure myself of her well-being.</p> - -<p>I got up accordingly, put on a dressing-gown, and stole quietly to -the door of her room, where I stood listening for a minute, and -wondering whether she had had the good fortune to fall asleep. No; -for I heard a deep sigh, followed by an inarticulate, moaning sound, -which—though so low as to be hardly audible—had something about it -that seemed to me unutterably sad and forlorn. An incontrollable -impulse seized me to go to her and try if I could not find some way -of being of use or comfort to her. But I could not enter the room -unless she choose to admit me, for she always kept her door locked at -night when in a hotel. I knocked gently, and she responded, "<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Qui -est-ce</i>?"</p> - -<p>"It is Jill," I replied; "may I come in? I came to see if your head -is still bad? and if so, if I shall bathe it with eau de cologne, or -fetch you anything, or try and read you to sleep, or do anything else -for you?"</p> - -<p>"Oh no, thanks," she answered in a weary voice; "pray go to bed and -leave me, for I am better to be quite alone. You know if I want -anything I can ring."</p> - -<p>Was the reminder of the bell intended as a gentle hint that it was -officious to disturb her with an offer of services which she could -command if she required them? That was the light in which I regarded -it, at all events; and I left her door, feeling that I had been a -fool for my pains, and richly deserved the snub I had received. I -asked myself scornfully what had made me try to obtain admittance -into the room? what good it could have been? and what I supposed I -should have done had she opened the door to me? Should I have flung -my arms around her, and told her that I knew all, and was come -to comfort her, or behaved in some similarly gushing manner? -Most certainly not! I knew better than to imagine that an absurd -demonstration of that kind would gratify her from any one, and, least -of all, from a servant. Besides, when she was doing all she could to -keep her trouble and its cause a profound secret, it would hardly -have been a happy method of consolation to go and inform her that her -efforts had failed, and that her secret was no secret at all. What, -then, <em>should</em> I have done? I had not the remotest notion, and was -forced to confess that my impulse to be with her had been simply a -piece of sentimental, impractical folly, which it was very lucky I -had not been able to indulge. I could not possibly have done anything -to help her, and it would clearly have been wiser and kinder of me to -have left her in peace; and, laughing at myself bitterly, and feeling -decidedly small and ridiculous in my own eyes, I retired to bed.</p> - -<h2 id="c6">CHAPTER VI.<br /> - -<small>NOTICE TO QUIT.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">My fears lest Kitty's health might be affected by what had happened -proved unfounded. By next morning she had got herself once more in -hand, and I did not again see the expression of utter abandonment to -misery which had been visible on her face the previous night at the -moment when she entered her room, and before she was aware of my -presence there. If ever she allowed herself to look like that again, -I expect it was not until she had made quite sure first that there -was no human being within reach to see what her countenance might -betray.</p> - -<p><em>Some</em> change in her, however, it was impossible that there should -not be, after the great and sudden mental commotion which she had -experienced. I observed that she was paler than her wont, and had -black marks under her eyes, which, when commented on by her aunt, she -accounted for as being the results of her violent headache. I saw, -too, that when she was not laughing or talking, and her features -were in repose, they settled into a hard stern expression which they -had not worn before; and that there was in her eyes a new look of -haughty defiance, as though they were challenging the whole world to -penetrate one hair's-breadth further than she chose into the locked -casket of her inner self. In other respects she was outwardly -unaltered, and went about and conducted herself in much the same way -as usual. The first shock of the blow had made her stagger for an -instant, but she had never broken down altogether, and was now -prepared to stand firm, and give no sign of pain. Natures like -hers, endowed with strength, pluck, and indomitable pride, are -generally more likely to be embittered than crushed when trouble and -disappointment comes upon them.</p> - -<p>Just at this period my studies of Kitty's character were cut short -abruptly, and my own concerns forced themselves unpleasantly into the -foreground, and demanded exclusive attention.</p> - -<p>Whilst I had been abroad my mind had been fully occupied with the -various incidents of our travels, and I had forgotten all about my -quondam-admirer Perkins, Lord Mervyn's valet. Unluckily, however, -he had not been equally oblivious of me; for, in rejecting his -attentions and causing the loss of his cherished whiskers, I had -inflicted an injury that he could neither forgive nor forget, and -for which he had vowed vengeance. When, therefore, chance unkindly -enabled him to discover an opportunity for doing me a bad turn, he -lost no time in profiting by it; and the effect which his malice had -upon my fortunes I was now to experience.</p> - -<p>The day before we were to leave Paris and return to England, I was up -in my room, beginning to pack my box, when a housemaid came to tell -me to go to Kitty, who was in her bedroom, and wished to see me. I -obeyed the summons immediately, without a suspicion of impending -trouble; but my tranquillity vanished as soon as I reached her room, -and caught sight of her face. She was sitting by the writing-table, -and looked up at me, on my entrance, with an air of cold dignified -displeasure, which showed me plainly there was something wrong, and -that I was in her black books for some cause or other. What the -dickens is the matter? I thought. I began hastily considering what -recent actions of mine to which she was likely to object could -have come to her ears; but I could not recollect any misdemeanour -important enough to make her look so displeased. I wished I could -guess what sort of accusation was going to be brought against me, so -that I might know whether to prepare denial, excuse, or frank -confession. For which of these three would be the best defence for -me to offer must obviously depend upon what likelihood there was that -the real truth would be ascertained.</p> - -<p>"I have to speak to you, Jill," she said, "about a most disagreeable -matter. A letter which I have just received from my mother tells me -that she has seen Sir Bartholomew Brown, who has lately returned to -London, and that when she questioned him about you he denied all -knowledge of any one of your name, or answering to your description; -declared that no such person had ever been in his service; and that -the character, purporting to have been written by him, which you -produced in applying for our situation, was a forgery. What have you -to say to this?"</p> - -<p>That was just what I did not know myself; for I was completely -dumbfoundered by this sudden attack from a quarter where I had -anticipated no danger. Why on earth could not Sir Bartholomew have -stayed in the East, as he had been supposed to be going to do? -In vain did I rack my brains for some way of extricating myself -from this dilemma. Not a single idea would occur to me, so I -simply remained silent—a course which had, at all events, the -recommendation of not committing me one way or other.</p> - -<p>Kitty waited for a little while; and then, perceiving that I did not -intend to answer, she said:</p> - -<p>"Am I to understand by your silence that you are unable to contradict -the truth of what Sir Bartholomew said?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, if you <em>choose</em> to understand it so, m'm, of course I can't help -that," replied I, shrugging my shoulders, and still evading a direct -admission of the charge which it was evidently useless for me to -dispute.</p> - -<p>"I do not choose it at all," she returned quickly; "on the contrary, -I should greatly prefer to find that you are able to clear yourself. -But I wish to have a definite answer from you, either yes or no, when -I ask—Is the thing true?"</p> - -<p>I hesitated for a moment. Then, seeing that I could gain nothing by -denying, and that to tell a lie about it would only sink me yet lower -in her eyes without doing me the least good, I replied desperately, -"Well—yes."</p> - -<p>For a few minutes she did not speak, and sat with her head resting -on her hand, and apparently reflecting about something. At last she -said:</p> - -<p>"I have been considering what to do. My mother thinks that you should -at once be given in charge of the police; but that I do not feel -inclined to do, after what we went through together in Corsica the -other day, and the way in which you behaved then. Besides, I have -had no cause of complaint since you have been with me, and I think -you have served <em>me</em> well—whatever you may have done elsewhere. -Therefore, though of course I dismiss you, yet I wish to treat you -with no needless harshness. I propose, then, that you should continue -to be my maid for a day longer, so as not to leave me till we arrive -in London. Thus you will not be turned adrift in a foreign country, -as would be the case if I discharged you here, on the spot; you will -also have been brought back to whence you came, and be left in no -worse position than you were before entering our service. As for your -wages, I shall, of course, pay them to you fully. If you like this -arrangement—which is, I think, as favourable a one as you can -expect—I am quite willing to make it. I daresay some people would -say I ought not to let you stay an hour longer in my service; and -that all the thanks I shall get is to be laughed at, and perhaps -robbed, by a person who has already shown herself to be a forger. But -I would rather take my chance of that than have to reproach myself -with having wronged you."</p> - -<p>I did not like her to think worse of me than I deserved, and for a -moment I felt very much inclined to tell her who I was, in order -that she might see that circumstances had really <em>compelled</em> me to -act as I had done. For if I had not forged a character to start with, -how could I ever have obtained a chance of earning one honestly? I -think I should inevitably have yielded to the inclination, and -imparted my history to her there and then, if there had been anything -in her manner to make me believe that I had won a footing, however -low down, in her affection—that she cared about me just one little -bit. But there was no such indication. She would not defraud me of -one atom that might be due for the services I had rendered, because -it would have wounded her own self-respect to do that. But I saw (or -imagined myself to see) that the consideration she showed for me was -dictated solely by a sense of justice, and not by any softer feeling; -and the rising impulse to confide in her was frozen back by the cold, -haughty severity of her demeanour towards one whom she regarded as a -mere common cheat and forger. Consequently I only replied stiffly -that I was much obliged for her offer, which I should be glad to -accept; and that she might depend upon it I would not give her cause -to repent of her kindness.</p> - -<p>"Very well," she returned, "then we will consider the matter settled -so, and you will leave me when we get to Charing Cross. By the by, I -may as well let you know that I have not told my aunt of what I heard -to-day, and that I shall not do so till after you have left. It would -only fuss her needlessly."</p> - -<p>Then I withdrew, feeling extremely provoked at the turn affairs had -taken, and heartily anathematising Sir Bartholomew for having come -back to England so inopportunely, instead of staying in the East, as -he had been expected to do. How unlucky, too, that Lady Mervyn should -have happened to meet him, and to have had nothing better to talk -about than <em>me</em>! The more I thought about it, the more extraordinary -did it seem that she should have ever troubled herself to mention me -to him: for, from what I knew of her ladyship, I should have thought -that a lady's-maid was far too insignificant to be honoured by being -made a topic of her conversation with a stranger—that is to say, -unless there had been some special reason for it; and I did not think -any such reason was likely to have existed in this instance. Very -likely the letter she had written to Kitty about me would contain -some enlightenment on this point. If only I could get hold of that -document, I would see; but the chances were that I should not be able -to lay hands on it, as Kitty rarely left correspondence about—a -carefulness which deprived her maids of a good deal of the amusement -they might otherwise have had. On this occasion, however, fortune -favoured my desires. When Kitty changed her dress that evening, in -taking her handkerchief, purse, and other et-ceteras out of her -pocket, she dropped a letter on the floor without noticing its fall; -I, who was standing close by and helping her, instantly covered it -with my dress, in hopes it might be the epistle I wanted to see; I -managed to keep it under my feet and dress till she was looking in -another direction, and then shoved it under the skirts of the -toilette-table, where it was safely out of sight. She finished -dressing, and went down to dinner, without having perceived the loss; -and as soon as the coast was clear, I rushed to the table, and -extracted the letter, which I had hidden there. On opening it, I -found, to my delight, that it was the one from Lady Mervyn about me; -the contents sufficiently explained why she should have condescended -to discuss so humble an individual as myself with Sir Bartholomew, -showing that it was all owing to the interference of Perkins, and -that I had only him to thank for the misfortune by which I was now -overtaken. After relating what I already had heard from Kitty, Lady -Mervyn went on to say:</p> - -<p>"It was only by the merest accident that we came to hear anything -about the matter. Your father's valet, Perkins, is member of some -club or other (fancy one's servants having clubs, like gentlemen! I -can't think why parliament doesn't make them illegal), to which a man -who used to be with Sir Bartholomew belongs also. With this man -Perkins happened to make acquaintance, and, on hearing where he had -been in service, asked him if he knew Lady Brown's last maid, Jill, -who was now abroad with you."</p> - -<p>Ah, thought I, when I had read so far, I can quite believe that that -spiteful wretch Perkins, directly he thought he had met an old -fellow-servant of mine, lost no time in going spying and sniffing -about, and trying to rake up some ill-natured story against me! <em>I</em> -know his tricks and his manners, as the doll's dressmaker in <cite>Our -Mutual Friend</cite> used to say.</p> - -<p>"When Perkins said that, however," continued the letter, "the man -stared at him, and declared he was talking nonsense. Lady Brown's -last maid, the man asserted, had been called Smith; had married a man -named Roberts soon after her mistress's death; and had then gone with -her husband to live at Liverpool, where she had been ever since, to -his positive knowledge. This seemed very odd to Perkins, and made him -suspect there was something amiss, so he, very properly, told me of -what he had heard. As it happened that Sir Bartholomew had returned -to England, I had no difficulty in learning the truth from the -fountainhead; and now that I have just had an interview with him, I -write at once to tell you the result. <em>Of course</em> you will not lose a -moment about handing the odious woman over to the police as a forger -and impostor. I shan't be a bit surprised to find that they want her -already, and know lots of other things against her; goodness only -knows what she is—thief, coiner, swindler, incendiary, or anything! -It is so lucky that we should have found her out in time. Mind that -you see all your things are quite right, and if they are not, have -her boxes searched. Don't pay her anything, by the by. I should not -think a person who gets a situation as she has done can claim -wages—it would be getting money under false pretences, I fancy. At -any rate, there's no need to hurry about paying until we find out -whether we are legally bound to or not."</p> - -<p>Having perused the letter I folded it up, and replaced it where -Kitty had let it fall on the floor, so that she might find it there -whenever she missed it, and went to search for it.</p> - -<p>One thing, at all events, the letter proved clearly, and that was -that Lady Mervyn's servants had spoken with perfect truth when they -said she was mean; for how contemptibly mean and petty was her -suggestion about withholding my wages! It seemed to me that as I had -earned them honestly I was unquestionably entitled to them, whatever -my character might be. And I might conclude that Kitty, who was not -so little-minded as her mother, and whose pride made her incapable of -an ignoble action, took the same view of the matter that I did; for I -knew that if she had intended obeying her mother's instructions about -dismissing me unpaid, she would certainly not have mentioned, as she -had done, that I was to receive the full amount due to me. Honour and -truth were integral parts of her character, and apparent in all her -dealings; and though I was not myself sensitively particular about -those things, yet I could not help admiring them in her all the same.</p> - -<p>Well, I had not deserved badly of her, I thought; and in reviewing my -past conduct it seemed to me that, on the whole, she had not much -reason to complain of me. No doubt, my acquisition of her purse at -the railway station had been somewhat questionable; but, after all, -it had only been picked up—not stolen; and my subsequent retention -of it had been caused chiefly by pique, because my feelings had been -hurt for the moment, when I found that she had forgotten me. Since I -had been her maid I had, I considered, served her faithfully enough; -and so I would continue to do during the short remaining period of -being in her service. This resolution, be it said, was prompted by -no ulterior views of self-interest, as I was quite aware of the -impossibility of my ever referring to her for a character. But she -had declined to rob me of my wages and send me to prison, as her -mother would have had her do, and had also troubled herself to soften -the dismissal in some way, and I wished to show that I appreciated -the consideration with which she had treated me, and was not -ungrateful for it. Consequently I omitted nothing that it was in my -power to do for her comfort on the journey back to England, and -performed my duties as her maid up to the last moment of quitting her -every bit as zealously as though I had hoped to gain some advantage -by my attentions.</p> - -<p>At Charing Cross Station we separated, to the intense astonishment of -her aunt, who as yet knew nothing of what had taken place. They went -one way and I went another; and thus I was cut off from the first -person I had ever come across who possessed the gift of arousing the -sluggish capacity for affection which lay dormant in my cold-blooded -nature. Our being parted was entirely the doing of that abominable -Perkins; and, as I looked after her with a sigh, I relegated him to -the same place as my stepmother amongst my enemies, and regarded him -with sentiments of similar detestation.</p> - -<h2 id="c7">CHAPTER VII.<br /> - -<small>A DOGGY PLACE.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">When first cut adrift from Kitty, I felt disgusted with service and -had a great mind not to be a maid again, because I knew I should hate -waiting on any other mistress. But people who have to earn their own -living cannot afford to be fanciful, and reflection soon showed me -the unwisdom of throwing up in a pet a profession in which I had now -acquired some little experience; so, within a couple of days after -my return to London, I was once more advertising for a place as -travelling-maid.</p> - -<p>The next consideration was how I was to get myself a character, as I -certainly could not apply to my late employers for one. Of course it -was open to me to supply myself with it in the same way I had done -before; but though I had then thought it a good joke and laughed at -the deception I practised, yet somehow I did not find myself taking -to the idea nearly as kindly now. I had been in the habit of making -fools of people for the mere fun of the thing, and had regarded a -falsehood much as the historian Green says that Queen Elizabeth did, -<i class="loanword">i.e.</i> as an intellectual means of meeting a difficulty. But my views -seemed to have undergone an alteration of late, and I was conscious -of a certain amount of repugnance for what was untrue, which perhaps -showed that my intercourse with Kitty had had some effect in -educating my conscience, and that I had imbibed something of her -contempt for lies. Therefore I hesitated about writing a false -character; and no doubt my scruples were all the more lively in -consequence of my recent detection and narrow escape of prosecution -for forgery; for I had a horror of going to prison.</p> - -<p>Consider as I might, however, I could see no honest way out of the -difficulty. A character I <em>must</em> have, as without one I had no chance -of a situation, and without a situation I should starve. And as I had -no one to give me a character, I was bound to give it myself. -So—with a sigh for my own roguery—I took a pen and indited an -epistle, highly recommending Caroline Jill, from a lady with whom she -had lived two years and eight months, and who, before departing for -the Cape (where she did not want to be accompanied by a maid) had -written this character for the aforesaid Jill. I flatter myself it -was an artistic composition, decidedly complimentary, and yet not -ascribing to me such perfection as might arouse suspicion by its -incompatibility with the frailty of human nature.</p> - -<p>After waiting for two or three weeks without receiving a single -answer to my advertisement, and searching the papers diligently -during that time without discovering any place advertised of the kind -that I wanted, I came to the conclusion that travelling-maids were at -a discount just at present. Living in lodgings and earning nothing -was too expensive a process to be continued long, so it seemed to me -that I had better alter my plans, and try and be something which was -<em>not</em> at a discount. Should I go in for being a shopwoman? But that -was a monotonous existence, I thought, with not enough chance of -variety and amusement to suit me. And then it struck me that I might -let my talents as courier-maid lie idle for a while, and try for an -ordinary lady's-maid's situation. I knew that my lack of dressmaking -knowledge was much against that scheme; but still I <em>might</em> have the -luck to meet with one of those ladies who always have their dresses -made out. At any rate I determined to make the attempt.</p> - -<p>As soon as possible next morning I procured one or two newspapers, -copied the addresses of as many advertisers for ladies-maids as I -should be able to go and see in the day, and set off to call upon -these ladies. At every place, however, I found that dressmaking was -an indispensable qualification, and I returned to my lodgings weary -and unsuccessful. Next day I repeated the process with no better -result; and on the third day also it was just the same story over -again. Wherever I went there was a universal demand for dressmaking -on the part of the maid; and I began to wonder if, in all England, -there existed such a person as a struggling dressmaker; and if so, -why she did not instantly take to lady's-maiding.</p> - -<p>Though discouraged by these repeated failures, I thought I would -still persevere a little longer before giving up, and accordingly -started on a fourth day's round as before. In the course of them I -came to the house of a Mrs. Torwood, who lived in Chester Square. My -ring at her bell was not answered for several minutes, and I was -thinking of repeating it when a noise something like a miniature -steam-engine approaching from within the house made me pause to see -what was coming. Directly afterwards the door was opened, and I -perceived that the pulling and blowing I had heard proceeded from a -fat, apoplectic-looking man-servant, to whom stairs were evidently -antipathetic, and who was panting tremendously after his ascent from -the inferior regions to the front-door. Being too much out of breath -to waste words, he only nodded affirmatively when I inquired whether -his mistress was at home and disengaged.</p> - -<p>"Then please will you go and tell her," I said, "that I have called -about the maid's place, and ask if she can see me now?"</p> - -<p>By this time he had recovered sufficiently to be able to speak.</p> - -<p>"Why it's <em>hanother</em> of 'em! Is this hever going to hend?" he groaned -in a melancholy voice, when he heard what my errand was. Then, some -happy thought seemed to occur to him, for his face brightened, and he -muttered to himself, "But why shouldn't she and me settle it? <em>I'll</em> -soon see if it's hany good her going further." And without stirring -from the spot, or giving the slightest indication of any intention of -taking my message, he addressed me thus:</p> - -<p>"'Scuse me hasking, miss, but was your father, or hany near -rela<em>tive</em> of yours, a 'untsman?"</p> - -<p>"No," I answered, whereupon his countenance fell a little, and he -resumed:</p> - -<p>"Or a gamekeeper, p'raps?"</p> - -<p>I repeated the negative, and he looked still more disappointed, but -continued:</p> - -<p>"No hoffence, miss, if I hasks one more question, and that is, 'ave -you hever, in hany way, bin abitooally brought in contack with -kennels, or packs of 'ounds?"</p> - -<p>I shook my head; feeling not a little astonished at all this -questioning.</p> - -<p>"Hah, then there's not a ghost of a chance as you'll take the place," -he exclaimed regretfully, "and you may as well say good day, for I -can't in conshence hadvise you to go a wasting of your valuable time -with seeing the missis! I'm sorry—very; for I'm quite sick of a -hopening this old door to maids come about the sitooation, and I did -'ope as you might 'ave done, and put a bend to it. But its no use; -from what you've told me, I can see plainly as you won't do."</p> - -<p>That the man was a character was evident; but as I was getting tired -of standing talking to him, and did not at all wish to receive his -confidences about his employers, I politely reiterated my former -request that he would go and find out if his mistress would see me.</p> - -<p>"Well; but 'aven't I just <em>told</em> you as it's no good?" he returned, -looking at me with an air of aggrieved surprise. "When I tells you as -I <em>knows</em> as you hain't the individooal for the place, can't you go -hoff agin quietly, without a giving no more trouble? If you 'aven't -no considerashin for yourself, you might 'ave some for <em>me</em>, and not -give me all the wear and tear of toiling hup a lot of steps just for -nothing."</p> - -<p>The seriousness with which he seemed to expect that I should accept -his opinion, and be satisfied to go away without having seen the lady -of the house, was intensely ludicrous, and I had some difficulty in -keeping my countenance.</p> - -<p>"I am quite grieved to be so troublesome," I said, "but I have a -strange fancy for always making sure for myself whether a place will -suit me or not, and I'm afraid I really must ask you to be so good as -to let the lady know I am here."</p> - -<p>He did not at all resent this (to him, probably, incomprehensible) -pertinacity on my part, but only put on a sort of resigned-martyr -air, saying:</p> - -<p>"Come halong then, since you hinsists hupon it. But you'll soon find -as I was right, and p'raps that'll make you less hinkredulous of my -words hanother time. If you honly knowed what a lot of maids I've a -took hup these 'ere blessid stairs and down hagain, all for nothing! -Putting a hunfair strain hupon a man's lungs, <em>I</em> considers it; but -there!—people <em>are</em> so thoughtless."</p> - -<p>He took care to reduce the strain upon his lungs to a minimum by -making me accompany him as far as the first landing on the stairs, -and wait there whilst he proceeded to the drawing-room. Thus, when he -had ascertained that his mistress would see me, it was only necessary -for him to lean over the banisters and beckon, whereby he avoided -having to descend any steps to fetch me, and could wait placidly till -I joined him on the first floor to be ushered into Mrs. Torwood's -presence.</p> - -<p>There were dogs dispersed about the room in all directions, and my -entrance was the signal for a sudden chorus of sharp barks, which -gave me some clue to a comprehension of the butler's enigmatical -allusions to a kennel. It would have been impossible to hear oneself -speak had the clamour continued; but it subsided as quickly as it had -arisen, and, with two exceptions, the dogs took no more notice of me. -One exception was a terrier, who uttered subdued yaps at intervals, -as if half-ashamed of it; and the other was a collie, who thought he -would like my umbrella (which I held in my hand), and who kept -sidling up with an innocent air, and giving unobtrusive tugs at the -coveted object from time to time, apparently in hopes of getting -possession of it at some unguarded moment when I might be too much -engrossed in talking to his mistress to notice his proceedings. The -rest of the dogs, however, evidently thought that they had done their -duty conscientiously when they had proclaimed my advent, and that -there was no need to pursue the subject further. Very possibly they -considered barking to be the proper canine equivalent to the human -practice of announcing a visitor's name, which is only done on the -visitor's entrance, and not repeated afterwards.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Torwood looked to me pretty, elegantly dressed, and silly, and -I guessed her age to be about thirty. She began by asking me my -name; after I had told her that, I expected the usual queries as to -qualifications would follow, and waited with dread for the mention of -that abominable dressmaking which had so often been my rock ahead. -But her next remark was quite unlike anything I had anticipated. She -hesitated a moment, and then said:</p> - -<p>"You see these dogs of mine? Well, I can assure you that they are the -nicest, best-behaved darlings possible, and not a bit of trouble. Why -any one should mind doing anything for them, I can't conceive; but so -many maids <em>do</em> object to it, for some unaccountable reason or other, -that I had better tell you at once that I expect my maid to brush and -comb these dogs every morning and take them out walking, besides -washing them once a week. So if you would dislike that, of course it -is no use my thinking of engaging you."</p> - -<p>Certainly this was rather a variety on the ordinary ideas of what a -lady's-maid's duties would be; but as I had always been fond of -animals, I did not feel averse to the notion. Still, as Mrs. Torwood -evidently thought it likely that I should make difficulties about -undertaking the dogs, I would not be in too great a hurry to consent, -and would appear to make rather a favour of it. So I paused to -consider, and then asked: "How many dogs are there to look after, -m-m?"</p> - -<p>"There are six at present," she replied; "but of course, if I were to -get any new ones, you would have them also."</p> - -<p>It flashed upon me that here was an excellent opportunity for -escaping the demand for dressmaking which had hitherto been my -stumbling-block at every place for which I had applied.</p> - -<p>"I have never been expected to take care of any lower animals -before," I said, speaking as like a dignified lady's-maid as I -could; "still, I would not object to oblige you by doing so, provided -no dressmaking is required."</p> - -<p>"Why not?" she inquired, looking surprised.</p> - -<p>"Because I know I should not have time for it," I answered.</p> - -<p>"Oh, but the dogs won't take you the whole day," she returned. "I -don't say you would have time for a great deal of dressmaking. But -surely you might manage just a little—especially if you weren't -hurried about it?"</p> - -<p>"There will be you to wait upon, and your clothes to keep in order, -m-m," said I, "and that, with washing, combing, and taking out six -dogs, is quite as much as I could <em>think</em> of undertaking to get -through in the day; because if I undertook anything more, I know I -should only fail to give you satisfaction."</p> - -<p>She hesitated. She had, however, met with so many maids who had from -the first moment flatly refused to have to do with her pets, that one -like me, who had no objection to them, seemed to her a <i lang="la" xml:lang="la">rara avis</i>. -Besides, her present maid was just going away, and she was in a hurry -to secure another. And therefore, after a little more opposition, my -firmness carried the day, and the obnoxious dressmaking was conceded. -Then we discussed other details, and I had to produce the character -with which I was provided. This, and the account of myself which I -gave, being deemed satisfactory, the interview terminated in my -engagement as her maid—upon which office I was to enter in another -three days.</p> - -<p>She rang the bell when I left the room, and in the hall I found the -fat butler waiting to see that I left the premises without committing -any depredations on the plate or other portable property.</p> - -<p>"Well; so now you knows as I was right, I s'pose, and that you might -as well 'ave gone away at once when I told you," he observed.</p> - -<p>"Not exactly," I returned, "seeing that I have taken the situation."</p> - -<p>"You don't say so!" he cried joyfully, elevating his eyebrows in -extreme surprise. "Thank goodness for that; and I honly 'opes as -you'll keep it, so as I shan't 'ave no more worrit with maids coming -about the place! What haggeravated me, you see, was knowing all the -time as they was <em>sure</em> not to take it, and that I was just a -trotting hup and down them beastly old stairs, all for nothing. A man -doesn't like to think as he's being sackerificed in vain; and that -there's no hobjeck in heggsershuns sitch as may land him in a -consumpshun or a hastma."</p> - -<p>"But you made sure once too often," I said, laughing; "you declared -that it was no use showing <em>me</em> upstairs, and yet you were wrong, you -see."</p> - -<p>"Not a bit of it," he retorted severely; "no young 'ooman need think -as she'll make me out wrong so heasy as all that. Did you never 'ear -tell of the eggsepshun as proves the rule? Because that's what <em>you</em> -are, let me tell you; and I doesn't form my judgment by eggsepshuns -but by rules! Precious slow those eggsepshuns are in showing -theirselves, too, sometimes. I've known one keep a man waiting till -he's just wore out, instead of 'urrying to the fore sharp when 'twas -wanted, as it <em>might</em> 'a done."</p> - -<p>Having thus refuted the charge of error, and given me a pretty broad -hint that I—by not making my appearance on the scene sooner—had -incurred the responsibility of his numerous needless journeys up and -downstairs on behalf of aspirant maids, he relaxed his severity, and -bid me good-bye with a graciousness which showed he bore no malice -for the injuries I had done him.</p> - -<p>I returned his farewell civilly, little dreaming that this man would -ever give me a means of annoying my hated step-mother; then I went -straight to buy a dog-whistle, which seemed to me a most essential -article for Mrs. Torwood's maid to possess.</p> - -<p>It was on that same day, I remember, that the papers announced the -engagement of the Hon. K. Mervyn to Lord Clement. I had not expected -it to come quite so soon, but otherwise was not at all surprised; for -I had never doubted that the Earl's chance of winning her would go up -as soon as Captain Norroy was out of the question.</p> - -<h2 id="c8">CHAPTER VIII.<br /> - -<small>A DISCOVERY.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">Mrs. Torwood was lady-like, good-natured, indolent, rather foolish, -easily-influenced, not difficult to get on with, and thinking more of -her clothes, her appearance, and her dogs, than anything else. She -spoilt these last terribly, and let them do whatever they pleased. -But I liked them for all that; indeed, if it had not been for them, I -doubt whether I should not have found myself too much bored in the -situation to stay there, for their mistress was very uninteresting -in my eyes, and did not move about enough to please me. Her pets, -however, had considerably more individuality than she had, and -afforded me sufficient amusement and occupation to keep me contented. -As my ignorance of dressmaking had prevented me from getting other -places that I had tried for, and as it was through the dogs that I -had at last surmounted that obstacle, mere gratitude would have -prompted me to do well by them, even if the work of looking after -them had been distasteful to me. But this was not the case, thanks to -my fondness for animals; and it was not long before they and I were -on the best of terms together.</p> - -<p>In some respects, however, they caused me a good deal of anxiety. The -chief of these causes was the daily airing which it was my duty to -give them; and I was always thankful to find myself safely at home -again without either of my charges being lost or stolen, or having -got into any mischief. I used to take them out singly and in a chain -just at first; and as soon as our acquaintance was sufficiently -advanced for me to discard the chain, I took them two at a time. But -I did not venture to go beyond that number when in town, as all the -dear creatures had some little characteristic peculiarity or other, -which made it necessary to keep a sharp look-out upon each individual -during the whole walk, if one did not want to lose them or get into a -scrape. If I enumerate these little peculiarities, I think it will be -evident that my precaution of not taking more than two together was -not uncalled-for.</p> - -<p>I will begin with Dart, a terrier whose mouth always watered after -the calves of children's legs, though he only wanted to enjoy the -feel of the flesh between his teeth, and had not the least wish to do -any real harm. As soon as he saw a pair of these tempting objects -anywhere near, he would go and join the owner, wagging his tail, -smoothing back his ears, smiling, wriggling his body, and altogether -looking sweet enough to inspire confidence in the breast of the most -distrustful infant. Then, turning his head insidiously as he walked -along, he would seize the nearest calf, give it a good squeeze, and -depart hastily, leaving the victim more frightened than hurt, howling -dismally, kicking, and struggling. Of course it was easy to prevent -the catastrophe by recalling him the instant he assumed an expression -of extra-amiability, and set off in the direction of a barelegged -child; but, as barelegged children are plentiful in London, it was -obviously well for whoever had charge of Dart to keep an eye upon him -constantly.</p> - -<p>Yarrow, again, was a collie who had a rooted conviction that his -constitution required carriage exercise, and who never failed to -do his best to give effect to that idea by trying to get into any -carriage, cab, or 'bus whose door he saw open. This habit of his -sometimes gave rise to laughable scenes, as, for instance, one day -when he skipped up the steps of an extremely grand barouche, just as -the gorgeously-apparelled footman was holding the door open for his -mistress to get in, whilst a dignified butler, and a couple more men -in gorgeous liveries were respectfully attending her to the door of -the house she was leaving. The flunkey at the carriage nearly fell -backwards with horror, but did not venture to interfere with the -audacious intruder, so Yarrow settled himself in triumph on the -front seat, and sat there at ease with his tongue hanging out, and -shedding drops on the smart cushions which he was profaning. He -looked blandly at the dismayed servants—not one of whom dared lay a -finger on him—and at the lady standing laughing on the doorstep of -the house; and how the scene would have terminated if I had not -arrived to the rescue and dislodged him, I cannot imagine. He was -complete master of the situation as far as the servants were -concerned; but I suppose one of them would eventually have called a -policeman if I had not intervened.</p> - -<p>A third member of my pack was Royal, a fat King Charles, who always -made me wish I had eyes in the back of my head. He was the veriest -dawdle that ever existed, and was possessed with the idea that -whoever took him out was walking too fast, and that it was his duty -to protest against such haste; therefore, no matter how slowly one -went, he was sure to lag far behind. His dilatoriness was especially -provoking, because of his being so handsome and well-bred as to be -unusually attractive to dog-stealers; and many a collision have I had -with other street passengers in consequence of walking backwards so -as not to lose sight of that precious animal.</p> - -<p>I come next to Sue, a spaniel of inordinate appetite, who, like -Royal, kept me in a continual state of alarm during her walks lest -she should be stolen. As she <em>never</em> thought she had had enough to -eat, she was sure to follow any one who carried food, and would also -constantly stop to sniff about in the gutter in search of something -to satisfy her cravings; for she was not in the least dainty, and -devoured everything edible with relish. She was a shocking thief, -too; and now and then, before I could stop her, she would manage to -whip a beef-steak or mutton-chop off some butcher's tray that had -been left unguarded by the area-rails whilst the butcher was below -enjoying a gossip with the cook. On these occasions I felt a little -puzzled how to act. To let Sue carry off her prize quietly would be -robbing the butcher, and I did not want to be dishonest if I could -help it. Yet, if the man knew what had happened, he would probably -make a bother and claim damages, and I did not want that either. So I -adopted the middle course of running after Sue, taking the meat from -her and restoring it to the tray, and getting clear off from the -spot as quickly as possible before the return of the owner. This -arrangement seemed to me fair to all parties, as it saved me from -unpleasantness, and, at the same time, did no wrong to the butcher. -No doubt his customers would not buy the meat if they knew it had -been in the dog's mouth, and would declare it to be disgusting and -uneatable; but then the idea is everything in matters of taste; and -as the little accident with Sue would be unknown, the meat would be -eaten without a qualm, and was therefore undeteriorated in value, I -argued; for I was sure it was not <em>really</em> any the worse. Sue often -aggravated me also in respect of poor working men eating an <i class="loanword">al -fresco</i> breakfast or dinner. As soon as ever she saw one of these -men, off she would go, and sit up on her hind-legs in front of him, -begging with glistening eyes, slobbering mouth, and an eagerness that -might have made one think she was starving, if her sleek sides had -not told a different tale. Her beseeching face and manner generally -produced an effect, and I have seen many a man, who looked ill able -to afford a morsel out of his scanty meal, throw her a scrap. I -always interfered with this little game of hers, and prevented her -from being given anything if I could get to the spot in time; for I -felt quite ashamed to be in charge of an evidently well-fed dog like -her, who went sponging upon poor people who probably had not enough -for themselves—I almost wondered she had not too much self-respect -to do it.</p> - -<p>Chose was a light-hearted French poodle, with a strong taste for -sport, which had, unluckily, never been developed in the right -direction. Sheep appeared to him to be quite legitimate game, and he -never could see them without trying to sneak off in their direction, -with a drooping tail and general air of depression, which may have -been caused by a consciousness of wrongdoing, or else by fear of -being recalled before he was out of reach, and thus deprived of the -<i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chasse</i> on which his heart was set. As for birds, he considered all -to be fair game alike, and rushed madly after any feathered creature -that was sitting or running on the ground, or flying low anywhere -near him. Repeated failure did not discourage him; he evidently -believed it to be his mission to catch birds, and dashed off -accordingly in frantic pursuit of rooks, swallows, chaffinches, -sparrows, and other birds on the wing, though he had no more chance -of catching them than he had of jumping over the moon. This was all -very well when he hunted wild birds that could fly away; but it was a -more serious matter when poultry were concerned, and the scrapes he -got into with ducks and chickens in the course of his career would -require a chapter to enumerate.</p> - -<p>Finally, I come to Jumbo, a diminutive terrier, with a mania for -digging, who was the abomination of all the gardeners in his -neighbourhood. Soft, freshly-turned earth was an irresistible -temptation to him; and if not watched carefully, he was sure to slip -off to the nearest flower-bed in park, square, or garden, and there -dig gigantic graves in a surprisingly short space of time. I expect -he thought that, considering what a lot of moles, rabbits, rats, and -mice had holes underground, he must infallibly light upon some one of -these creatures at last, if he persevered in his researches long -enough. He had also a weakness for flowers, and liked to pick them -for himself; so, altogether, I don't wonder he was not loved by -gardeners, one of whom once remarked to me indignantly:</p> - -<p>"That 'ere dawg o' yourn is the werry wusstest little beast I -ever see! I'd just like to take and give 'im to one o' them 'ere -willysectin doctors, <em>that</em> I would!"</p> - -<p>Well, those six dogs gave me a good bit of trouble in one way or -other, no doubt; and all the more because their mistress spoilt them, -and did not try to get them out of their bad ways, and they were not -with me long enough for me to be able to undo the effect of her -spoiling. But they amused me and I liked them, notwithstanding their -troublesomeness; and when I went near them it pleased me to hear the -thump thump of tails against the ground, which showed that I was -welcome.</p> - -<p>The Torwoods kept no indoor man-servant except the butler already -mentioned, who rejoiced in the name of Eliezer Scroggins; and as he -was a respectable, steady-going married man, I found, to my great -satisfaction, that I was in no danger of suffering from persecutions -like those of the detestable Perkins. I got on very well with -Scroggins, and was often amused by his peculiarities; for he was (as -I had guessed at first) somewhat of a character, though a very good -sort of fellow, for all that. His prejudices were very strong, and -he was sure to cling with pigheaded obstinacy to whatever idea he had -taken into his head. I soon discovered that amongst his pet aversions -were people who, in his opinion, gave themselves airs, and presumed -to push their way up to a station above that in which they had been -born. Such people he hated as he hated stairs—perhaps more; and no -matter whether they moved in his mistress's sphere of life or his -own, they irritated him as the proverbial red rag does the bull. -Indeed, I rather suspect that he sometimes had premeditated accidents -when any of these objects of his dislike were dining at the Torwoods, -and that any visitor of theirs who was considered by him to be what -he called a "parvenyoo" was not at all unlikely to receive a bath of -soup, sauce, tea, coffee, or wine, or to suffer from some similar -misadventure, caused by the intentional clumsiness of the butler.</p> - -<p>His bitterness on the subject of people who had risen above their -natural position was so great that I had little doubt of there being -some particular reason for it; and idle curiosity moved me to try and -find out what that reason was, though I never for an instant supposed -that the history could be one in any way specially concerning <em>me</em>. -However, he did not choose to confide his private family affairs to a -complete stranger; and so, though he dropped occasional dark hints, -whence I concluded that he had a step-sister whom he detested, yet it -was not till I had been nearly a year in Mrs. Torwood's service that -I at last was permitted to know the cause of his inveterate spite -against the whole race of parvenus.</p> - -<p>His mother, it appeared, had been twice married, and he was her child -by the second marriage. Her first husband was a clerk named Brown, -who had died before he was thirty, leaving only one child, a daughter -named Mary. He had had rather exalted ideas about education, and had -no opinion of home teaching, and consequently had sent his daughter -to a cheap boarding-school as soon as ever she was old enough to -leave home.</p> - -<p>After Brown's death his young widow had married into a social -position a shade below that of the clerk, and become the spouse of a -grocer in the East End, named Joshua Scroggins, to whom in due time -she presented my friend Eliezer, and sundry other children.</p> - -<p>On the second marriage the grocer, a good-hearted conscientious man, -had declared that it would be a shame for her daughter Mary not to -have the same education as her own father would have given her, so he -generously went on paying for her at the school where she had been -already placed. Here the girl picked up a fair education, and also -many ridiculous and fine ideas. She took to spell her name with an -"e" at the end; would sooner have died than let her school-fellows -know that she was connected with a small retail shopkeeper bearing a -name so odiously vulgar as Scroggins; and brooded over the grievance -of having so unpresentable a step-father, until she became convinced -he had done her a mortal injury by marrying her mother, and got into -the habit of disliking and despising him in spite of the kindness and -liberality with which he always treated her. Now Scroggins was an -honest hard-working man, who minded his shop in person, with the -assistance of his wife and children; though he had managed to defray -Mary's schooling, yet the expense had now and then pressed on him a -little heavily, and he had not the least intention of keeping her as -an idle fine lady when she left school for good and came to live at -home, but expected her to take her turn in the shop, as the rest of -the household did. Her disgust at this was intense, and she showed it -by doing her work as badly as she dared, scolding and flouncing about -the house, and losing no opportunity of making herself generally -disagreeable.</p> - -<p>The Scroggins family—consisting of father and mother, and four -children, of whom my friend Eliezer was the eldest—had hitherto -lived in unbroken peace and harmony, and now groaned sorely under the -infliction of the new-comer, with her airs and graces and tantrums. -The recollection of her being fatherless kept them from resenting her -nonsense as it deserved, and made them more gentle and patient with -her than they would perhaps have been otherwise; but it was felt by -all to be a blessed relief when the disturbing element was removed by -marriage to a city gent. He was in business, but did not keep a shop, -and so she graciously condescended to accept him as a means of escape -from the intolerable humiliation of serving behind her step-father's -counter. The city gent proved a good speculation. A few lucky -ventures gave him a rise in the world; and when, in the course of -years, he left her a widow, her social position was very considerably -better than it had been when she first became his wife. By the time -he died, all intercourse between her and the Scrogginses had long -been at an end. Though she had not hesitated to receive a dowry from -her step-father, yet she had never evinced the smallest gratitude for -that, or any of the numerous other benefits he had bestowed upon her. -On the contrary, she took no trouble to conceal her aversion to him; -declared that vulgarity was necessarily attached to such a name as -Scroggins; and, after her marriage, saw less and less of the family, -and rudely checked all friendly advances on their part, till at last -she succeeded in altogether cutting the connection. Mrs. Scroggins—a -peace-loving, kindly soul, who could not bear to be mixed up in any -kind of dissension—was grieved by this, and by the separation from -her daughter, though it was no fault of hers, and she could not -possibly help it. But she bore no malice, and when the news came of -her son-in-law's death, she thought only of her daughter's present -distress, and forgot the many slights and insults that had been cast -upon her and hers. Full of unaffected hearty sorrow and sympathy, she -set off immediately to visit the bereaved Mary, hoping to be able to -comfort her and be of use to her. What took place on the occasion of -this visit Eliezer never exactly knew. But he knew well that the -reception of his good-hearted and forgiving mother must have been -both unseemly and unpleasant, when he saw her return home in tears, -thoroughly upset, and saying that she could not have believed any -woman would have behaved so rudely to her own mother; and that, -unless she was sent for, she would <em>never</em> again try to see Mary. -This had made a deep impression on Eliezer, who adored his mother; -and the bitter enmity he had ever since cherished against the person -who had treated her so badly, and whom he regarded as an upstart, had -extended to the whole race of "parvenyoos."</p> - -<p>"Do you know what has become of your step-sister?" I asked carelessly; -"and do you ever see her?"</p> - -<p>"See 'er!" he ejaculated wrathfully; "not if I knows it. I'm none so -fond of raising my corruption by looking at what I 'ates! But I 'ears -tell on 'er now and agin; she married some swell with a 'andle to 'is -name some years back. Mary Grove's clever enough—you may trust 'er -to do well for 'erself wherehever she is."</p> - -<p>In telling his tale he had not before mentioned the name of his -step-sister's husband; but when he spoke of Mary Grove, I pricked up -my ears with a sudden recollection that that had been the name of my -step-mother. "Was Grove the name of the city gent?" I enquired -eagerly.</p> - -<p>Scroggins nodded.</p> - -<p>"Had they any children?" I continued.</p> - -<p>"A couple o' gals named Jane and Margret there was," he returned; "I -don't know what they be like now, for I ain't seen 'em—not since -they was little mites o' things."</p> - -<p>Jane and Margaret! these had been the names of my step-sisters, and -I felt almost sure that his step-sister and my step-mother must be -one and the same person. One more question would make the matter -absolutely certain, so I said: "What was the name of Mary Grove's -second husband—do you know it?"</p> - -<p>"Oh yes, I knows it; but I can't lay tongue to it at this moment. -What hever is it now? Sir Hanthony something or other—I should know -it if I was to 'ear it."</p> - -<p>"Was it anything like——" I began, and then paused. Never once had -my own name passed my lips since I left home, and somehow now, when I -tried to say it, it seemed to stick in my throat. Overcoming this -feeling, however, I completed my sentence—"like Trecastle?" It was -strange how, in spite of my first hesitation about uttering the word, -yet when once it was out, my tongue clung lovingly to it, and I -should have liked to repeat it over and over again. I thought it -sounded better than any other name I had ever heard, and felt a -thrill of pride to think that it was mine by right.</p> - -<p>"That's the very thing!" he exclaimed triumphantly; "Sir Hanthony -Trecassel, and I wishes 'im joy of 'is bargain! 'Ow hever did you -come to think of 'im?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, I had heard of a Sir Anthony Trecastle before," I replied, "and -so when you started me with the first name, the second suggested -itself quite naturally."</p> - -<p>Here our conversation was interrupted, and I retired to meditate -complacently on the means of being revenged on my step-mother, which -fortune had so kindly thrown in my way. There was nothing <em>really</em> -to be ashamed of in such a connection as the Scrogginses, who were -evidently highly respectable and excellent individuals. Yet few -people in society would altogether enjoy having a mother named -Scroggins, who sold soap and tallow candles in the East End; and, -least of all, the former Mary Brown, who had striven so indefatigably -and successfully to cut herself free from every trace of the grocer's -shop. It would be gall and wormwood to her to have her secret -revealed; and I chuckled with delight to think that it had fallen -into my hands, and that the whole world would know it when I chose.</p> - -<p>But I would not be in too great a hurry with my vengeance. I -would take time about it— prolong her torment by keeping her in -suspense, and letting her see the blow coming before it actually -fell. Therefore I commenced operations by posting to her an -anonymous letter in a feigned hand, stating that the writer was -a benevolent individual to whom the spectacle of domestic discord -was inexpressibly shocking, and who was much inclined to undertake -the good work of endeavouring to bring about a public reconciliation -between the Scrogginses and one of their family who had long been -estranged from them.</p> - -<p>This would suffice to alarm her and make her anxious as to what the -writer's real intentions were. Perhaps she would think he meant only -to extort money—from which idea her parsimonious soul would shrink -with horror; or perhaps she would think that he meant to execute his -threat, which she would regard as a still more terrible possibility. -Either way she would be made miserable, and so my object would be -gained.</p> - -<p>After leaving some weeks for the digestion of this missive, I -despatched another, stating that the writer considered it part of a -wife's duty to introduce her husband to her parents; and that if any -wife failed to perform that duty, it behoved some one else to do it -in her place.</p> - -<p>This I presently followed by a third and still more menacing letter, -so as continually to increase her terrors, and keep her perpetually -with a sword hanging over her head. At every epistle I sent off I -gloated over the thought of the state of disquietude in which she -must be; and as I remembered how uncomfortable she had once made me, -I regretted that I could not be present when the letters arrived, so -as to have the pleasure of seeing my shafts take effect and wound -her. The execution of the threats should come soon, I thought. My -intention was to play with her and keep her on tenterhooks for a -while, and then to send anonymous letters containing information of -her antecedents to my father, his family, the county people, and -others with whom she had formerly been intimate. I should of course -give the address of the Scroggins' shop, so that it would be easy for -the recipients of the letters to verify my statement if they cared to -do so; and there could be little doubt that all her bosom friends -would give themselves that much trouble, even if mere chance -acquaintances did not think it worth while. Therefore there was no -danger of the history being hushed up and kept quiet, and of her -being spared the humiliation she dreaded.</p> - -<p>Before, however, I had brought my operations to a climax, they were -interrupted by an unforeseen event, which must be related in the next -chapter.</p> - -<h2 id="c9">CHAPTER IX.<br /> - -<small>THE LAST OF PERKINS.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">I daresay my readers will take it for granted that I adopted a fresh -name when I went into Mrs. Torwood's service. So I most certainly -<em>ought</em> to have done after my previous forgery of a character having -been detected. But sometimes one is astonishingly stupid; and -the idea of making that very necessary alteration never entered -my head. Caroline Jill I had dubbed myself when I dropped the -secretly-venerated name of Trecastle, and Caroline Jill I—like an -idiot—continued to be, without having the wits to see how foolish it -was of me to stick to a name upon which I had brought discredit. I -was now to feel the consequences of this imprudence, the penalty -being brought about, indirectly, by three of the dogs under my care.</p> - -<p>One morning when I went as usual to call Mrs. Torwood, she said she -should stay in bed a little longer, as she had a headache, and that I -was to leave her to sleep till half-past ten, when she meant to get -up. It so happened that I was particularly desirous of getting -through my work early on that day, and as by taking out the six dogs -in two instead of three detachments, I should have just time to give -the whole lot their daily airing before the hour when I was to return -to my mistress, I determined to break my rule for once, and take -them out three together, instead of in couples, as usual.</p> - -<p>Behold me, then, sallying forth at about 9.30 A.M., accompanied by -the greedy Sue, the vivacious and sport-loving Chose, and the -dawdling Royal. Our progress was characteristic of my three -companions. First went Chose, trotting ahead of us, and keeping a -bright look-out for a chance of a <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">chasse</i>. Next came Sue and I—she -making occasional foraging excursions into the gutter, and I -continually walking backwards and wringing my neck, in order not to -lose sight of Royal. Finally came Royal, lagging far behind, with his -customary leisurely imperturbability. All went well till we came to -where a footman had lounged out from his master's house, leaving the -front door open behind him, and was standing a few yards off chatting -with a friend. I and my pack had passed there before often enough for -the footman to know us by sight; and I knew him in the same way, and -knew also that his employers had a pet in the shape of a magnificent -Persian cat. Now this cat had taken advantage of the open door to -come out upon the pavement, where she was sunning herself tranquilly -when Chose, who, as I have mentioned, headed our party, drew near to -that spot. At sight of puss he stopped short with uplifted paw and -quivering tail, and for a second or so the two animals stood -motionless and gazing at each other. Then the cat, distrusting his -appearance, whisked round, and flew like lightning up the doorsteps -into the house. Had she stayed still, Chose might very likely have -let her alone; but the instant he saw her run he became convinced she -was game, and therefore to be hunted. I whistled and called to him in -vain; without a moment's hesitation, and paying no attention to me, -he dashed after her in hot pursuit across the hall and up the front -staircase. Of course it would never do to have him hunting a pet cat -all over its owner's house; so I said to the footman, who was looking -on and laughing without seeming to think there was any need for him -to interfere: "I'd better run in and fetch the dog back, hadn't I?"</p> - -<p>"All right," answered he, knowing that I was not to be suspected of -designs on the spoons; and in I went without more ado.</p> - -<p>The family to whom the house belonged would doubtless have been -considerably astonished to see a stranger invading their premises in -this unceremonious manner; but luckily they were still in their -bedrooms, and I met with none of them as I rushed after my truant. I -followed him upstairs, through the drawing-room, and into a little -boudoir on the first floor. Here I found him standing on his hind -legs upon a light-blue satin sofa (which bore marks of his dirty -feet), and vainly endeavouring to get to the top of a high cabinet -where puss had taken refuge. She, feeling herself in security, was -indulging in a candid and emphatic expression of opinion respecting -her pursuer by growling, spitting, arching her back, swelling out her -tail to three or four times its usual size, and now and then striking -viciously in his direction with her paw. I imagine this last action -was merely meant to relieve her feelings in the same way that -fist-shaking relieves those of human beings, for she must have been -perfectly well aware that the poodle was quite out of reach from her -perch.</p> - -<p>Chose was one of those dogs who are always completely subdued -directly they find themselves captured, so I had no more trouble with -him now that I had come to close quarters; he followed me downstairs -unresistingly, feebly wagging the very tip of his tail, and looking a -touching picture of apologetic meekness and penitence.</p> - -<p>That smell-feast of a Sue meanwhile had profited by the commotion to -get into a little mischief on her own account. Having accompanied me -as far as the hall, she had then immediately sniffed out the -dining-room, and turned in there in preference to going on with me -upstairs, and I, having my head full of Chose, did not attend to -her proceedings. In the dining-room there were preparations for -breakfast, and Sue's nose guided her unerringly to a side-table -whereon some cold meat had been set out. By help of a conveniently -placed chair she speedily mounted on to this table, took up a cold -chicken of which she thought she could fancy a morsel, jumped down -again to the floor, and made off for some safer place where she might -hope to enjoy her fowl peacefully.</p> - -<p>The footman, thinking it time to go and see what was taking place -indoors, bade adieu to his friend, and entered the house just as Sue -was in the act of issuing from the dining-room door with the bird in -her mouth. He immediately armed himself with a riding whip that lay -in the hall, barred her exit from the house, and tried to make her -give up what she had stolen. In this, however, he was unsuccessful; -for though he hit her smartly enough to make her squeak, yet she -still clung resolutely to her booty. Consequently, when I came -downstairs with the recently-disobedient but now abjectly-submissive -Chose at my heels, congratulating myself on being out of this bother, -the first thing I saw was Sue, carrying a chicken, scrimmaging from -side to side of the hall, and endeavouring to avoid the footman's -whip and dodge past him in the street. Very much disgusted at her -having thus got into mischief the instant my attention was taken off, -I swooped down upon her from the rear; and as she was only thinking -of the foe in front and did not notice my approach, I was easily able -to catch hold of her, and enforce the surrender of the bird.</p> - -<p>Provoked as I felt with these two dogs for their bad behaviour, I -could not stop to scold them much at that moment; for I was disturbed -by the possibility that Royal, too, might have taken it into his head -to get into a scrape on this unlucky morning, and I wanted to have -him safe under my wing again as soon as possible. Hastily telling the -footman that I hoped the chicken was not much the worse, and that I -was sorry the dogs had been so troublesome, I hurried off to look for -the King Charles. Even such a slow-coach as Royal had had plenty of -time to overtake us by now, and it would not be at all like him to -exert himself needlessly by going an inch along the road in advance -of the person who had taken him out. Therefore, as he had not made -his appearance in the house, I made sure that he must be waiting for -me outside.</p> - -<p>To my dismay, however, he was nowhere to be seen; look which way I -would, not a hair of the precious animal was visible. "Did ever any -one see such a handful as these dogs are?" ejaculated I mentally; -"and oh, what a fool I was to take out more than two of them at a -time!"</p> - -<p>I had not the slightest idea in which direction to look for Royal, -and was wondering what I had better do, when a ragged little girl -whom I had not before observed, ran up and said:</p> - -<p>"Please, 'as yer losted suthin?"</p> - -<p>"Yes; a little dog," I returned; "can you tell me where it is?"</p> - -<p>"I seed a man pick'n hup and put'n in a bastik, and I thought it -warn't hisn, neither," she exclaimed, pointing down the street; "he'm -jest gone 'long the fust turn to the right there. Run quick and -you'll ketch 'im p'raps."</p> - -<p>I delayed not a moment, but set off at full speed; and the two dogs -ran with me, greatly excited at my sudden haste, and mystified as to -the cause of it. As for Chose, he forgot all about his penitence, -was immediately in the highest spirits, and bounded along with an -up-in-the-air, elastic, springing action which implied an unlimited -stock of suppressed energy ready to display itself the instant he -should succeed in discovering what game I was in pursuit of, and he -was to go for.</p> - -<p>On reaching the turning indicated, I saw a respectably dressed man -with a basket on his arm at some little distance off. When first I -saw him he was walking fast in the same direction as I was; at the -sound of my footsteps he looked round, and then began to run. Close -to the other end of the street was a crowded thoroughfare where it -would be easy enough for him to give me the slip; so I strained every -nerve to come up with him before he could get out of the street in -which we then were. But it was not an equal race between us; for he -had a start and was quite fresh, whilst I was already a little bit -out of breath with running; and I soon perceived that he would escape -unless I could procure assistance.</p> - -<p>Thinking Chose might be useful, I tried to incite him to rush on and -tackle the man. But he only responded by barking, springing higher -than ever in the air, and looking wildly about to find out what he -was being set at. Evidently it never entered his head that he could -be meant to hunt a human being.</p> - -<p>Two or three times I called out "Stop thief!" But that was mere waste -of breath, for the street was empty, and though the cry attracted -some of the inhabitants to their doors and windows to see what was -going on, no one made any attempt to come to my aid. I suppose they -wanted to know the rights of the matter first—and I had not time to -stop and explain it just then.</p> - -<p>The man had almost gained the end of the street, and I was giving up -all hopes of success, when, in the very nick of time, a policeman -came in sight just in front of him. My shouts and gesticulations made -the policeman comprehend that I wanted the runner stopped. The latter -tried to bolt past the official, but was foiled; and, to my joy, I -beheld the fugitive captured and held fast. When I came up, I found -him expostulating with his captor with an assumption of much virtuous -indignation, declaring that he was hurrying to catch a train, that it -would be ruin to him to miss it, and that he should hold any one who -stopped him responsible for whatever loss he had to suffer in -consequence.</p> - -<p>"Please look in his basket," I panted to the policeman, "and see if -there isn't a King Charles spaniel in it that he has just stolen."</p> - -<p>"In <em>corse</em> there's a dawg," exclaimed the fugitive with an air of -injured innocence, whilst the policeman lifted up the lid of the -basket, and discovered Royal ensconced underneath, "and why not? It's -my own dawg as I'm a takin' with me, and 'as I'm 'bliged to carry -when I'm in a 'urry cos he can't go fast enough to keep hup. Does -the good lady think as no vun 'as a right to 'ave a dawg besides -'erself?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly not," replied I, "but that dog is not yours for all that, -as you know well enough. He belongs," I continued, addressing the -policeman, "to a lady living in Chester Square, whose maid I am. Come -there with me, and you will soon see whether this man's story is true -or not."</p> - -<p>"Oh, hof corse you sez that," grumbled the thief, "when I've -jest a told you as I can't hafford to miss my train, not on no -consideration! But there! what's the lost of a dawg to the lost of a -fortin? Take 'im, then, since you hinsists! Do hanythink you pleases, -honly don't keep me 'ere no longer."</p> - -<p>But the policeman was not to be gammoned. He said we must both go -along with him to Chester Square to find out if my story was true; -and added with gentle satire, that as the man claimed the dog and -was so unwilling to be parted from it, he might have the pleasure -of continuing to carry it in the basket till the real ownership -should be proved. And so we all set out together for the Torwood's -house, notwithstanding the prisoner's fluent remonstrances and -protestations.</p> - -<p>As I rather prided myself on being habitually wide-awake and capable -of performing whatever I undertook to do, I should have felt it was a -disgrace to me to lose one of the dogs; and therefore I was sincerely -thankful to the little girl by whose means I had been saved from -incurring such a slur. I saw her loitering at the end of the street, -watching the result of my chase; and as we passed back that way, I -went up to thank her for her timely information. So grateful did I -feel, that I was pulling out my purse to express my sentiments in a -substantial form, when, to my surprise, she stopped me by saying:</p> - -<p>"Don't do that! I 'on't take nothin' for tellin' what you wanted to -know, cos I was honly payin' a debt as I've oweded you this long -time."</p> - -<p>Seeing my look of astonishment, she continued:</p> - -<p>"'Twas you as bought flowers off o' me so as I could get brexhus, one -mornin' two years back and more, when I was that 'ungry I didn't know -what to do; and I've hoften thought as I'd like to pay you back for -it, and wondered if I should hever get a chance. When I seen the chap -grab the dawg I didn't mean to say nothin' 'bout it at fust—for I -doesn't never care to go gettin' coves into trouble; but then I see -you come out o' the 'ouse, lookin' like as you'd losted suthin; and I -'membered your face all of a suddint, and I thought if the dawg was -yours, I'd tell you where 'twas gone, to pay back what you done for -me afore."</p> - -<p>I recollected the girl now, and saw she was the same whose -breakfastless condition had excited my compassion one day long ago, -just after I had run away from home and come to London. Certainly she -more than repaid what I had done for her then. Value for value, I -should have had very much the best of the bargain if the dog had—as -she supposed —belonged to me; for I knew that £30 had been offered -and refused for Royal, whereas the amount that I had given her was -only a shilling. "I should like to be able to invest all my shillings -at that rate of interest!" thought I, as I nodded good-bye to her, -and hurried to join the policeman and his prisoner.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Torwood regarded dog-stealers with much the same antipathy that -some sporting squires seem to feel towards poachers—deeming them -natural enemies to the common weal, who might advantageously be -extirpated, root and branch. She had, therefore, no idea of letting -slip the excellent opportunity which now presented itself for the -punishment of one of these abominated miscreants, and the prosecution -of Royal's thief was a matter of course. When the trial came on, -naturally I was a principal witness; and thus the police reports in -the paper contained the name of "Caroline Jill, lady's-maid to Mrs. -Torwood, of — Chester Square," as having given evidence in a -dog-stealing case.</p> - -<p>As luck would have it, this caught the eye of my old enemy Perkins, -and set him wondering whether the person referred to could be the -same individual who had once presumed to reject his advances so -rudely. Though he had already been the means of turning me out of one -place, yet still his spite was not satisfied; so (as I suppose) he -hung about Chester Square till he had seen me pass, and ascertained -my identity; then he came to our house, and had an interview with -Mrs. Torwood.</p> - -<p>It happened that I was looking out of the window when he left the -house. I was extremely astonished to see him, and still more -astonished at the state he was in, for he looked deadly pale, and all -wild and frightened, and was shaking visibly. The sight of him made -me uneasy; for though I had no notion of the object of his visit, -still I was sure that his appearance in my vicinity was not likely to -bode any good to me.</p> - -<p>I took the first opportunity of trying to find out from my friend -Eliezer, what the man's business with our mistress had been. But -Eliezer could tell me nothing about it; all he knew was that the -party had asked to speak to her, saying that he had something -important to say, and that he had left her again after a not very -long interview.</p> - -<p>"She must have frightened him pretty well, whatever it may have been -about," said I; "he looked worse than if he'd seen a ghost, when he -went away."</p> - -<p>"Ah, he did that," returned Eliezer, chuckling at the remembrance, -"but it was, so to say, hisself as he was 'feared on. I never see -sitch a coward in hall my born days, 'afore."</p> - -<p>This naturally excited my curiosity, and I made Eliezer tell me what -had taken place to give Perkins a fright, which, I need scarcely say, -was not an unpleasant hearing to one who owed him a grudge, as I did.</p> - -<p>The collie Yarrow, it appeared, had been lying on a mat in the hall -when the visitor departed; and the latter, not seeing the dog, had -inadvertently trodden heavily on his toe. Now Yarrow's temper was, -like that of many collies, a little uncertain; and as, furthermore, -he had always a particular objection to have his toes walked upon or -hurt, he lost not an instant in retaliating by biting his injurer in -the leg. Perkins, startled at first to find himself stumbling over a -dog which he had not seen, seemed completely overcome by terror when -the stumble was followed promptly by a severe bite; he staggered back -against the wall, turning as pale as ashes, and hardly able to speak. -When he had recovered himself a little, Eliezer discovered that the -cause of this great fright was, that Perkins had a sort of craze -about hydrophobia, and held it in such intense horror that he was -really not capable of being reasonable where it was concerned.</p> - -<p>Eliezer being the only person handy at the moment, was besieged by -Perkins with flurried questions. Wasn't it as bad to be bitten by an -animal that was angry as by one that was mad? How long was it before -madness showed in a person who had been bitten by a mad dog? Was it a -<em>certain</em> cure to have the place burnt out? Was there any other less -painful remedy? It would be so horrid to have one's flesh burnt! but -still—hydrophobia would be worse. Whatever should he do?</p> - -<p>These and similar questions were poured into the ears of Eliezer as -though he had been an authority upon madness, because Perkins was in -that state of absurd panic which made him long to hear a word of -comfort from any one—no matter who. But he did not get any -consolation from Eliezer, who had a hearty contempt for cowards, and -rarely lost a chance of tormenting them by playing upon their -weakness. Therefore the butler carefully abstained from saying -anything reassuring, shook his head and sighed, and affected to think -the bite an extremely serious matter. Finally, the victim departed in -a state of the utmost disquietude, divided between anxiety to try and -put himself in safety by undergoing cauterisation, and fear of the -pain which it would cause him.</p> - -<p>Whichever way he settled it, he was sure to make himself miserable -lest he was going mad for a very long while to come, Eliezer opined, -laughing contemptuously at the idea of a man's torturing himself -gratuitously in that ridiculous fashion. And my anxiety as to what -had brought Perkins there did not prevent my joining in the laugh at -his absurd terror and folly.</p> - -<p>A day or so elapsed, during which I heard nothing unpleasant from -Mrs. Torwood, and I began to hope that, after all, the visit that -had alarmed me might have had nothing to do with my affairs. This, -however, was not the case. Perkins had told her that I was an -impostor, who had been dismissed from my last place because the -character with which I obtained it was a forgery. But she was -reluctant to have to part with a maid who suited her and got on -with the dogs as well as I did, and was not inclined to credit so -startling an accusation brought against me by a man whom she had -never seen before and knew nothing of. When her husband came home, -however, she told him what she had heard, and was advised by him to -wait, and say nothing about the matter, till Lady Mervyn had been -communicated with to find out whether the story was true or not. That -lady, of course, confirmed it entirely; and as the date of my being -sent away by her was only a few weeks before I had entered the -service of my present mistress, it was very evident to the Torwoods -that my second character was as unreliable as my first one, and that -the lady who had recommended Caroline Jill before going to the Cape -had had no existence save in my own imagination.</p> - -<p>Thereupon my fancied security was scattered rudely to the winds. Mrs. -Torwood at once informed me of what she had discovered, and said it -was impossible that she should allow me to remain in the house a day -longer. Her husband, she added, had thought she ought to prosecute -me; but she refused to do that, because during the whole time I had -been with her (over a year) I had given her no cause of complaint, -and had always taken excellent care of the dogs. Therefore she should -content herself with insisting on my immediate departure.</p> - -<p>It was hopeless for me to deny the misdeeds with which I was charged, -so there was nothing for it but to pack up my things and take myself -off as soon as might be.</p> - -<p>Really, I thought, as I made the requisite preparations, it is very -provoking that my employers will not be satisfied to judge me by -their own personal knowledge! First there was Kitty, and now there's -Mrs. Torwood. I am sure they both of them were well-disposed in my -favour, and believed that I served them satisfactorily. Yet they let -their own experience go for nothing, and are afraid to keep me in -their service, just because I am not provided with the proper -conventional, often quite unreliable, certificate of somebody else's -opinion of me! I call it very silly of people to have so little -confidence in their own judgment.</p> - -<p>As for Eliezer, he was aghast at my sudden flitting, and began -ruefully anticipating the many futile journeys up and down stairs -that would probably be inflicted upon his cherished lungs before a -satisfactory successor to me would be found.</p> - -<p>I confess I thought his anticipations very likely to be realised; -for though the place suited <em>me</em> well enough, it was not one that -many maids would care to take. The general run of abigails study -dressmaking as an art, are ambitious of displaying their skill in -that line, and naturally turn up their noses at the idea of throwing -away their talents by spending the best part of their time in -attending to dogs. Whereas I, who had neither taste nor capacity for -any form of millinery, regarded the animals as far the most congenial -and interesting occupation of the two.</p> - -<p>As I reflected indignantly on the behaviour of the mean, spiteful, -meddlesome, cowardly Perkins, who had thus a second time been the -means of turning me adrift, I rejoiced to think that dear Yarrow had -avenged me to <em>some</em> extent at all events, though not perhaps as -completely as I could have wished. The pain of a bite was not much of -a set-off against the harm he had done me, to be sure; but then I -might add to his sufferings an unknown amount of terror, because of -his being such an abject coward as he was; and there was the chance -too of his having thought it necessary to have the bitten place -cauterised. Altogether, I thought Yarrow was a most discriminating -dog, and my last act before leaving the house was to caress him and -give him one of his favourite biscuits.</p> - -<p>It proved, however, that he had avenged me more thoroughly than I had -imagined, and that Perkins' interference was to cost him his life. -His horror of hydrophobia made him take a hot poker and try to burn -the bite on his leg; but his dread of pain made him timid and clumsy, -and, letting the poker slip accidentally, he inflicted a really very -severe burn upon himself. Being in a bad state of blood at the time, -the wound would not heal; and after a good deal of festering and -inflammation, blood poisoning set in, and finally caused his death.</p> - -<p>I learnt these particulars from the newspapers, which reported the -inquest that was held upon him; and as this was not till some time -after I was dismissed by Mrs. Torwood, I am anticipating the proper -course of events by introducing it here. But I do so because I think -that this is the best place to relate what eventually became of him, -and in the next chapter I will return to an account of my proceedings -in due chronological order.</p> - -<h2 id="c10">CHAPTER X.<br /> - -<small>AN ACCIDENT.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">Evidently the first thing to be done when I was turned out of the -Torwood's house was to find a habitation for myself somewhere else; -and the search for a suitable lodging occupied me till late in the -evening. When at last I had succeeded, I told the landlady that my -name was Charlotte Jackson; for I had learnt wisdom by experience, -and, having now perceived the folly of continuing to call myself -Caroline Jill, I substituted for it the first name that occurred to -me whose initials would correspond to the C. J. with which my linen -was marked.</p> - -<p>By the time I had taken possession of my new quarters I felt quite -ready for supper, and betook myself, therefore, to a neighbouring -coffee-tavern, where, for the sum of twopence, I procured a -satisfying and not extravagant meal, consisting of a large hunch of -good bread and a basin of thick pea-soup, which—though perhaps -somewhat coarsely flavoured—was undeniably savoury and nourishing. -Then I returned to my lodging and composed another of the anonymous -letters with which I was harassing my stepmother. I took especial -pains to make it as unpleasant and likely to alarm her as I could, -because it was the last that I intended sending her. I meant to let -about a week more elapse, and then to put my threats into execution -and proceed to the final act of vengeance, by making known to her -husband and friends the whole history of her Scroggins connection.</p> - -<p>Having written this letter and directed it all ready to post next -day, I proceeded to consider my present situation, and what my next -effort for a livelihood should be. But I suppose the pea-soup must -have been indigestible, for I was out of sorts somehow, took a gloomy -view of things in general, and was unwontedly dispirited about my -prospects. My mind seemed to have no elasticity or variety, and -would keep reverting to the difficulty of getting a place without a -character, and the impossibility of getting a character without -forging it. The pitcher that goes often to the well gets broken at -last, thought I; and though, hitherto, the detection of my forgeries -has brought no worse consequences than dismissal from my situations, -yet I cannot reckon on always escaping so easily. If I do not mind -what I am about, I may find myself in prison some fine day; and to -<em>that</em> I should object most strongly. It would be too horribly -disgraceful; I should never be able to hold up my head again -afterwards!</p> - -<p>I could arrive at no settled determination whatever, and finally went -to bed in a very bad humour with myself for being so irresolute and -inclined to be disheartened.</p> - -<p>When I woke next morning I was more cheerfully disposed, and thought -I would get a newspaper and give a look at the advertisements. There -could be no reason why I should not do that, at all events, as -reading them did not by any means necessarily involve answering them. -Accordingly I procured a newspaper and proceeded to study it. Here a -temptation to recklessness at once presented itself in the shape of a -notice setting forth that excellent situations for courier-maids were -to be heard of on application to Mrs. Asterisk's registry office. The -idea of going abroad again made my mouth water; and, putting aside -the character difficulty for future consideration, I proceeded -immediately to Mrs. Asterisk's, paid the preliminary fee without -which her lips were sealed, received in return the addresses of a -couple of ladies in want of travelling-maids, and set off to call at -one of these addresses.</p> - -<p>The way to this place took me near the chief approach to a large -railway station, whence a train was shortly about to start; and I -had to pause before crossing the road in order to let a string of -luggage-laden cabs and carriages go past. In the line of vehicles -coming towards where I stood, there was a brougham which exhibited -signs of wealth combined with perfect taste, which made me notice it -particularly, and wonder who the fortunate owners could be. The -colouring, liveries, etc., were as quiet as possible, and there was -nothing showy about the turn-out except the splendid pair of -high-stepping horses by which it was drawn. But, though not showy, -none the less was every detail of its appointments faultless, and I -lingered to see if the occupants were as well worth looking at as -their equipage was. As the fiery horses came slowly abreast of me, -tossing their heads, snorting, and champing their bits with -impatience at being delayed, I saw that there was an earl's coronet -on the harness, and that a lady and gentleman were in the carriage. -In a moment more it was near enough for me to recognise who they -were, and then I saw that they were Lord and Lady Clement.</p> - -<p>I had not before set eyes on Kitty since I parted from her at Charing -Cross; but I had often and often thought of her, and wondered whether -her marriage had brought her happiness; and now I gazed at her -eagerly, trying to guess this from her countenance. Impossible, -however, to read the secrets of a face as impenetrable as hers! All I -could tell was, that she looked handsomer than ever, and just a -trifle more stern; and I had an idea, too, that the haughty immovable -expression which had been always somewhat characteristic of her had -become intensified. Her husband addressed some remark to her, and she -answered him promptly with a gracious pleasant smile, that showed -them to be on thoroughly good terms together. Yet I fancied it was a -smile of conventionality rather than of affection; it seemed only to -come from the lips—the eyes and rest of the face had nothing to do -with it; and I hardly thought it was such a smile as a young wife -would be likely to bestow upon a husband who possessed her heart. Yet -after all, what did I know of the matter? It would be absurd for me -to think I could form any opinion as to her happiness from a mere -glimpse of her like this.</p> - -<p>It was strange how the old charm which she had always had for me -reasserted itself the instant I beheld her again. In her I seemed to -recognise the sole human being in the world whose affection I would -have taken trouble to obtain; and as I looked wistfully after her, -thinking that I might possibly have had a chance of it, if it had -not been for my stepmother and Perkins, I felt a fresh access of -resentment towards them. My stepmother, by making home intolerable, -had exiled me from the sphere of life where I could, perhaps, have -made friends with Kitty as an equal; and Perkins, by spitefully -driving me out of her service, had deprived me of the opportunities I -might have had of winning her regard as an inferior. How curious it -was that, notwithstanding what untoward circumstances had done to -separate us, there yet existed between her and me the sort of -half-bond which is involved in the possession of a mutual secret. -For had not I discovered the love for Captain Norroy which she had -striven zealously to conceal? and did not I know that about her which -she believed herself to have kept secret from the whole world?</p> - -<p>The carriage went on into the station, and I continued my course -without dreaming that the trivial incident of waiting to see Kitty -Clement drive by had affected my destiny materially. Such, however, -was in truth the case; and the way in which it happened was this:</p> - -<p>The sight of Kitty had, as I have just said, reminded me of my -stepmother; and that made me think of the letter I had written on -the previous night. I had put it in my pocket when I came out, and -afterwards forgotten all about it till the present moment. Now, -however, that I had remembered it, I thought I would post it at once -so as to make sure of not forgetting it again, and accordingly looked -about for a post-office. At the corner of a small side street was a -pillar-box, which was only a few steps out of my way, so I walked up -to it and posted the letter there.</p> - -<p>Near by a groom was capering and careering about on an obstreperous -horse; and just as I turned away from the box, the steed sprang on to -the pavement in spite of all the rider's efforts to restrain him. -There he set to plunging and kicking so close to me, that I was -obliged to jump hastily into the road in order to get out of reach of -his hoofs. Thinking only of the danger from the animal prancing on -the pavement, I did not observe a hansom that was dashing up the -side street. It came shaving round the corner at full speed, and in -another instant I was knocked down, run over, and stunned.</p> - -<p>Then comes a confused recollection of acute pain which made me groan; -of being moved; of wishing to know what was happening to me, and -feeling absolutely incapable of rousing myself sufficiently to find -out. And then I must have lost consciousness altogether; for the next -thing I remember is, becoming gradually aware that I was in bed. That -one fact was as much as my mind was equal to take in at first; I was -not altogether sure of my own identity, and recollected nothing -whatever of the accident. After lying thus inert for a short time, I -opened my eyes and looked at as much as was to be seen without moving -my head, which I felt far too languid to do. The result of my -observations was, that there were other beds near me, and that I was -in a large airy room; I perceived also a prevailing odour of carbolic -acid in the place. Had I been in my ordinary condition of energy, I -should have been wild to know where I was, and how I came there; but, -as it was, I was too limp both in body and mind to be curious or -astonished at anything. Therefore I reclosed my eyes with a vague -impression that there was something a little odd about my situation; -but that as long as I could lie still and do nothing I had all that I -desired.</p> - -<p>This transient dream of consciousness was succeeded by an interval -during which I can only recollect nightmarish visions and miseries. -The next thing that my memory recalls definitely is a short -conversation between two people whose voices sounded to me as though -coming from some remote distance, though in reality, as I knew -afterwards, they were close to my bedside.</p> - -<p>"What is this case?" said the first voice.</p> - -<p>"It's a woman who was run over by a cab," replied the second; "her -leg is broken, and she has other injuries also. She was brought in -yesterday morning, and hasn't recovered her senses properly yet."</p> - -<p>"Indeed!" returned the former speaker. "How did you find out her -name, then? I see you've got it stuck up over the bed."</p> - -<p>"Oh, there was an envelope in her pocket addressed to Caroline Jill, -No. — Chester Square," was the answer. "We sent to the address to -ask if she was known there, and to say she had been brought to the -hospital. It appeared that she had been lady's-maid at the house, and -been dismissed the day before, and they knew nothing of who her -belongings were, or where she lived, or anything about her."</p> - -<p>As I heard no more, I conclude that here the speakers moved away -from my bed. The few words they had said, however, had sufficed to -enlighten my cloudy state of mind. At first I had listened without -having an idea that <em>I</em> could be the person referred to; but when the -name of Caroline Jill was spoken I remembered all about myself, knew -clearly who I was, and realised what had occurred to me. Yes; I had -gone to a pillar-box to post the letter to my stepmother, and there -had been an unmanageable horse to be avoided. Then there had come -suddenly a rattle, a violent concussion, confusion, pain, and utter -blank; and I comprehended that I had been run over and brought to the -accident ward of a hospital. I recollected, too, my prudent design of -dropping the name of Jill; and as I realised that that intention was -frustrated for the present, I felt a faint trace of amusement at the -persistency with which the old childish name had stuck to me.</p> - -<p>Was it true that my leg was broken, as those two people had just -said? Very likely. Anyhow I would take their word for it, for I -certainly did not feel inclined to stir hand or foot to verify the -statement. And as my head ached, and I was quite exhausted with the -effort of so much consecutive thought, I speedily relapsed into my -former comatose condition.</p> - -<p>When next I recovered my senses, my head was clear; I remembered -directly how I came to be in a hospital, and looked around me. It was -night, and by the dim light of a shaded lamp I could see the nurse -in charge of the ward sitting in an upright-backed wooden chair, -where she had fallen fast asleep notwithstanding the hardness and -discomfort of her seat. I could see, too, a glass containing -lemonade standing on a table near the head of my bed, and, as I was -parching with thirst, I managed slowly, and with difficulty, to draw -one hand out from under the bed-clothes, and stretch it out towards -the tempting drink. Alas! the glass was out of my reach. The sight -of the delicious liquid made my thirst grow worse and worse, till it -seemed quite unendurable, and I was impelled to try and wake the -nurse, to ask her to give it to me. Accordingly I called out to her -as loudly as I could. But my utmost efforts produced only a wheezing -feeble sound, which was powerless to produce any impression on her -slumbers. The amount of fatigue which it cost me to uplift my voice -was quite disproportionate to the insignificance of the result, and -I was so tired with the attempt to make myself heard, and the -exertion of getting my hand out of bed and reaching after the glass -of lemonade, that I realised it was useless to think of waking the -nurse, and that I must resign myself to bear the thirst as best -I could, till she should wake of herself. Mortification at my -helplessness, and profound pity for my poor dear self, caused tears -to rise to my eyes and moisten my cheeks. I lay still and watched her -so anxiously that one might almost have thought the mere ardour of my -gaze ought to have disturbed her repose. Still she slumbered on -blissfully. Oh, why would not she wake when I was so very very -thirsty!</p> - -<p>Suddenly I heard a door open at the other end of the room, and, on -looking round, saw a woman enter whose dress showed her to belong -to some Sisterhood. I had never thought well of Sisters in my life. -They always had seemed to me to be useless, so eccentric as to be -well-nigh mad, and—though otherwise harmless—yet objectionable on -the ground that their mere existence conveyed a continual tacit -reproach and assumption of superiority to more self-indulgent -mortals, who shrank from the strictness and hardness which the -Sisters imposed upon themselves voluntarily. Hence the fact of the -new-comer's wearing a Sister's habit sufficed to prejudice me against -her; and on an ordinary occasion I should not have spoken to—far -less asked a favour of—her.</p> - -<p>But the present was <em>not</em> an ordinary occasion. All I cared for -was to have the thirst that tormented me relieved with the least -possible delay; and no sooner did I see her than I made a frantic -effort to call out loud enough for her to hear. The cry, feeble as -it was, reached her ears; and as she was not sure from which bed it -proceeded, she advanced slowly up the room, saying, in a low voice, -"Who called me?"</p> - -<p>I held up my hand to show it was I who had summoned her; she came -straight to the bedside and asked what I wanted. "Drink!" I gasped, -with some difficulty; for my throat was so dry that I could scarcely -articulate the word intelligibly.</p> - -<p>With one hand she took up the coveted draught, and, putting the other -arm under my pillow, raised me to exactly the right height at which I -could drink comfortably, and then held the glass to my lips. Never -was nectar more delicious and refreshing than that lemonade tasted to -me! When I had drained the last drop I begged eagerly for more, and -she quickly replenished the tumbler from a jug on the table, and -again gave me the liquid for which I craved. At last my burning -thirst was quenched, and when she had gently restored me to my former -position in the bed, I could not help feeling beholden to her, -notwithstanding that it was a shock to my previous notions to think a -Sister could be useful, and notwithstanding, also, that one never -altogether relishes the upsetting of any of one's preconceived -cherished ideas.</p> - -<p>I could speak better now, so I said: "Thank you. I am sorry to have -troubled you, but I was so dreadfully thirsty, and the glass was out -of my reach."</p> - -<p>"No trouble," she replied kindly; "the only object of my being here -is to help people if I can. But why didn't you call to the nurse in -charge of this ward? She would have attended to you at once."</p> - -<p>"I did call to her more than half an hour ago by the clock," I -replied, "but I couldn't call loud enough to wake her."</p> - -<p>In consequence of my having drawn the Sister's attention to myself -directly she entered the room, she had not yet noticed that the nurse -was asleep. Now, however, she perceived it. A look of displeasure -came over her face, and she at once proceeded to wake the sleeper, -who was evidently much disconcerted at having been caught napping, -and started up with a great pretence of liveliness when she saw the -Sister standing by her.</p> - -<p>"This is against all rules, Nurse Mary, as you know very well," said -the Sister; "it is a serious offence for a nurse to sleep when on -duty, and I shall have to report you."</p> - -<p>"I knew it was very wrong, Sister, and I'm quite shocked that I -should have been so careless," replied the culprit. "But indeed you -mustn't think as there's any harm done. It was only five minutes back -as I was going about, and seeing as every one was all right; and then -I sat down and dropped off into a bit of a doze somehow. I wasn't -reg'larly asleep—only dozing so light that I should have heard -d'rectly if any one made a sound."</p> - -<p>"Don't make your fault worse by falsehood," said the Sister severely; -"I found the woman over there," pointing to me, "in great want of -something to drink; and she told me she had been thirsty for a long -time, and unable to wake you when she tried. You must attend to your -duty better than this. If I find you asleep again when I visit your -ward, you must expect to be dismissed."</p> - -<p>The Sister continued her rounds through the hospital to see that -everything was right; and as soon as she was gone the nurse came -towards me. I regarded her approach with awe. I saw by her face that -she did not feel particularly amiable towards the individual who had -been the means—however innocent—of procuring her a wigging; and as -a nurse has it in her power to make a patient very miserable if she -chooses, I was naturally dismayed at having been so unlucky as to -get into her black books. The desire which I felt at that moment to -ingratiate myself with her, if possible, was quite degrading; and -when she rebuked me sharply for having got part of one arm uncovered, -and told me not to do so again, I promised obedience with the most -servile meekness, though I was quite sure that there was no real harm -whatever in what I had done. My bedclothes were as tidy as need be; -but she pretended to think they wanted straightening, and twitched -them about in a vigorous and jerky manner which was not comfortable, -and kept me alarmed all the time lest I should be hurt. When she had -completed this unnecessary process, she left me alone, to my great -relief, and nothing short of the extremest necessity would have -induced me to recall her to my bed. I felt frightened, helpless, -and in the power of a person who had taken a dislike to me; and -the only comfort I had was to think that the Sister's protecting -influence would perhaps save me from anything more serious than -petty annoyances. But even petty annoyances are bad enough in all -conscience when one is as sick, weak, and miserable as I was then.</p> - -<h2 id="c11">CHAPTER XI.<br /> - -<small>IN HOSPITAL.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">Certainly nursing is very far superior, now-a-days, to what it was in -the <i class="loanword">régime</i> of the untrained Sairey Gamp confraternity; but while -gladly recognising that fact, I am inclined to think that there is -still some room for improvement. For one thing, I doubt whether any -particular care is taken to impress upon nurses the important fact -that no two human beings are exactly the same; and that people's -characteristic peculiarities are never in greater need of being -studied and humoured, than when pain and sickness have weakened the -will and rendered the nerves unwontedly sensitive and irritable. If -this were insisted upon as it might be in the training of nurses, I -do not imagine it would be as common as it is to find them performing -their duties mechanically, and apparently regarding patients as -machines to be wound up, regulated, and treated according to fixed -principles applying to all alike, instead of as living men and women, -possessing widely-differing peculiarities of both mind and body. I -think that one or two of my own experiences whilst at the hospital -will show that there is some reason for this criticism.</p> - -<p>The prolonged thirst from which I had suffered, and the exertion -involved in my endeavour to relieve it, fatigued me greatly in -my enfeebled condition. Then came the mental wear and tear of -terror which I underwent during Nurse Mary's alarmingly vigorous -bedclothes-straightening process; and thus, what with one thing and -another, by the time she left me to myself again I felt completely -worn out, and anxious for nothing so much as sleep. In vain, however, -did I try to compose myself to slumber. I was feverish; I ached all -over; and, turn which way I would, I could get no ease. Each new -position that I tried seemed more uncomfortable than the last; and -though the cradle in which my broken leg was fixed prevented me -from moving far, yet within the narrow space to which I was thus -restricted, I kept shifting my place, and twisting to and fro -incessantly.</p> - -<p>Of course this restlessness was by no means conducive to my welfare; -and when the doctor visited me in the morning he pronounced me to be -in a very exhausted state, and said I was to have nourishment and -stimulants every two hours.</p> - -<p>I cannot say that I took kindly to the idea of being stuffed like -this; for I was so far from being hungry that my gorge rose at the -mere thought of food. And when the nurse who had succeeded Nurse Mary -in charge of the ward came up to me with a cup of broth in her hand, -I had about the same amount of inclination for it that fair Rosamond -may be supposed to have had for the potion presented to her by Queen -Eleanor.</p> - -<p>But I had fully made up my mind to get well as soon as possible, and -had the sense to know that I certainly could not recover without -eating, so I struggled to overcome the internal rising of which I was -conscious. Perhaps, too, the broth would tempt my appetite, so that -after I had got down a mouthful or so, I should find the aversion to -food pass away, and be able to go on eating easily. And thus resolved -to do my best to obey the doctor's orders, I took a sip out of the -cup.</p> - -<p>But the first taste was a shock to me. It was not in the least like -what I expected, somehow, though I was not just then clear-headed -enough to discover immediately what was wrong with it. I did not -believe it was broth at all; at all events, if it was, it was the -nastiest that I had ever tasted in my life. I could hardly swallow -even the small quantity I had taken; and as for getting down any more -of it—pah! the thing was impossible. My loathing for food became -more violent than ever, and I pushed away the cup feebly, saying: -"Take the nasty stuff away! I <em>can't</em> eat it; and it'll only make me -sick to try."</p> - -<p>"Nasty indeed!" returned the nurse; "why, what better would you have -than beautiful chicking-broth like this? You can drink it well enough -if you like; it's only your fancy as you can't."</p> - -<p>"I don't think it beautiful at all," replied I; "indeed, indeed, it's -nasty. Do pray let me alone; perhaps I shall be hungrier by and by."</p> - -<p>"Rubbish!" she answered, again advancing the cup towards me; "its the -doctor's orders for you to be fed, and fed you shall be—even if I -have to drench you. Come now; down with it!"</p> - -<p>At this moment, when I was ruefully contemplating the broth and -wondering if it would be anyhow possible for me to gulp it down, the -Sister whom I had seen in the night came into the room. She was -general superintendent of the nursing all through the hospital, and -had a keen eye for anything amiss. My unhappy look at once attracted -her attention, and she came to us and asked the nurse what she was -giving me.</p> - -<p>"Chicking broth, with a tablespoon of whisky in it, Sister," -responded the woman; "that's what the doctor ordered for her. But -she's making as much fuss as if it was—I don't know what, and -declaring as it'll make her sick."</p> - -<p>"I can quite understand your objecting to eat," said the Sister, -addressing me gently; "people so often do when they're ill. But it's -the beginning is the great difficulty with them, and after that they -generally get on much better; I daresay you'll find it so if you try. -Or is broth a thing to which you have any special dislike? and do you -think you would fancy some other kind of food more?"</p> - -<p>"No; I like broth well enough in general," answered I, "and I <em>have</em> -tried to eat what the nurse brought me. But I couldn't, indeed—it is -too nasty."</p> - -<p>"Well, suppose I see if <em>I</em> can find anything the matter with it," -she said, taking the cup from the nurse. "Why! did you ask to have it -cold?"</p> - -<p>"No," replied I.</p> - -<p>"Did the doctor say it was to be given cold?" she inquired, turning -to the nurse.</p> - -<p>"He didn't say nothing one way or other," answered the latter; "and -as I had a jugful cold, ready by me, I just took and poured some into -the cup to give as it was—not thinking as it mattered."</p> - -<p>"Oh, but it does matter, very much," returned the Sister; "broth is -far nicer hot than cold. Go and warm this, and then see if the -patient doesn't find it easier to get down. And don't forget in -future that broth should always be given hot, unless there are -special orders to the contrary."</p> - -<p>Now surely the woman might have known that of herself, if she had -taken the trouble to think for a moment, and might have perceived -that cold chicken broth, with whisky in it, was a thing that no -ordinary human palate could be expected to relish. But no; the doctor -had not specified it was to be hot; she had some cold to hand; the -question of trying to make it palatable never entered her head; and -therefore, though the warming would have been but very little -trouble, she just brought it me as it was. In that condition I doubt -whether I could possibly have eaten it; when warmed, however, I was -able to get through the requisite portion—though even then not -without considerable difficulty, in consequence of my aversion to -food of any kind.</p> - -<p>Thus a second time was the conviction forced upon me that the -existence in the world of Sisters might perhaps not be so altogether -devoid of utility as I had previously imagined.</p> - -<p>I daresay the food did me good; but yet it did not procure me the -rest for which I craved, and I had to endure hours more of miserable -tossing about before my weary body at last hit upon the posture which -would best accommodate its numerous aches and bruises. With a sigh of -satisfaction I gave myself up to repose, intending not to stir hand -or foot as long as I remained comfortable, lest, if I once lost the -position which had been so hard to find, I might not again succeed in -discovering it. Soon a delicious sense of drowsiness stole over me, -and I was on the point of falling sound asleep, when I was aroused by -the voice of a nurse, telling me it was time to feed again. If my -repugnance to eating had made all the previous feeding-times during -the day objectionable to me, it may be imagined that the present -summons was doubly odious, coming at the very moment when I could not -bear the idea of stirring so much as a hair's-breadth from where I -lay, and would have given the world to be left in peace. Dismayed -at the prospect of immediate movement, and loath to be parted from -the long-sought rest which I had at length attained, I appealed -for a reprieve—however brief. I was so <em>very</em> tired of being -uncomfortable, I said. I had had such a weary tossing about all night -and all day till now. And now that I had at last found some comfort, -might not I stay as I was for just five minutes more?</p> - -<p>But the nurse would not hear of such a thing. The doctor's orders, -she said, were for me to have food every two hours. The last time had -been at 1.25—there it was marked on the slate by the bed—and now it -was 3.25. Her business was to obey the doctor's orders exactly; and I -must just take what she had brought me that instant, and make no more -fuss about it.</p> - -<p>So my appeal was disregarded, and I was, then and there, ruthlessly -routed up to be fed. And as my nervous system was by no means robust -enough at that moment to bear the shock of any abrupt disturbance, I -immediately afterwards relapsed into the same state of miserable, -feverish restlessness as before.</p> - -<p>Now, though it seems unreasonable to blame any one for strict -obedience to orders, yet I think in a case like this the woman might -well have departed from them so far as to grant the five minutes -delay for which I pleaded. It would have softened the blow to have -time to make up my mind gradually to the moving which I dreaded; and -I think her own sense might have told her that I was in a condition -when rest was essential, and when everything unpleasant should be -smoothed over to me as much as possible. But though she was not -wilfully harsh or unkind, yet the advisability of making small -concessions to an invalid's weakness—fancifulness, as <em>she</em> called -it—never entered her head. All she thought of was that she was there -to carry out the doctor's orders, and that provided they were obeyed -to the letter, come what might, she would have nothing to reproach -herself with. As for the idea of there being any special necessity -for a nurse to be quick in reading, understanding, and making -allowances for the fancies, infirmities, and idiosyncrasies of human -nature, because she is professionally brought into constant contact -with it when in its greatest need of sympathy—why, I do not suppose -such a notion had ever occurred to her. But might it not have formed -a part of her professional education?</p> - -<p>I hope that my criticisms will not be misunderstood. If I venture to -point out defects which seem to me remediable, it does not therefore -follow that I fail to do justice to the enormous benefits which we -derive from trained nurses. On the contrary, when I look back upon my -sojourn at the hospital, I feel grateful for and astonished at the -punctilious care and attention which was shown towards a mere -friendless, helpless, unknown nobody such as I was, from whom no -return could be expected. It may be that I have known nurses act -hastily under provocation; that I think them apt to be hard, because -too mechanical; and that I doubt whether they always bring their -brains to bear as much as might be on the performance of their duty. -But none the less do I believe that they are, as a body, a thoroughly -conscientious, well-meaning, and valuable set of women; and that a -nurse who behaves with deliberate cruelty, or wantonly neglects a -patient, is hardly ever to be met with.</p> - -<p>In speaking well, however, of the hospital attendants and the -treatment I received from them, I must except Nurse Mary. She was a -careless, good-for-nothing nurse, unfit for her post, constantly -asleep on duty, bad tempered to the patients, and quite regardless of -truth in what she said. I was unfortunate enough to be an especial -object of her animosity, because she had been reprimanded and fined -for her neglect of me and false excuses on the night when I had first -become acquainted with her. As it had been on account of me that she -had got into hot water, she took a dislike to me then and there, -and took advantage of our relative positions to make me feel her -displeasure. A nurse has plenty of opportunities for thwarting, -bullying, and inflicting small miseries on a patient; and Nurse Mary -always availed herself of these opportunities as freely as she dared. -Whatever she had to do for me was sure to be done as roughly and -disagreeably as possible, and I looked forward with dread to the -periods when the ward I inhabited was under her charge.</p> - -<p>Unluckily for me, it was on one of these occasions that it fell to my -lot to have to take a dose of castor oil. Now, that is a physic to -which I have always had an intense antipathy. The mere smell of it -makes me feel qualmy, even at the best of times; and it stood to -reason that I should dislike it ten times more when my stomach was in -an unusually squeamish condition, so that I found it difficult to eat -even food that I liked. Hence I looked forward to the impending dose -with much trepidation, and reflected anxiously on the probability of -my being unable to keep down the nauseous stuff, even when swallowed. -It would evidently be a help to avoid having the nasty smell -beforehand if possible, as I knew that would make me feel poorly to -start with; so I asked Nurse Mary if she would mind pouring out the -oil at some distance off and not bringing it to my bedside till all -ready to be taken.</p> - -<p>She refused roughly, saying she had no time to be bothered with all -kinds of fads and whims like that; and, instead of trying to spare me -any preliminary unpleasantness, she measured out the dose quite close -to my nose, so as to give me a full benefit of the odour. It seemed -to me, too, that she was purposely slow in her proceedings, and kept -the bottle uncorked for a most needless length of time—but that may -possibly have only been my excited fancy.</p> - -<p>The oil having been poured into a glass with water in it, I was sat -up in bed, the glass was put into my hands, and I raised it towards -my mouth. Being already qualmy from the effect of the smell, and -very nervous lest I should be actually sick, I was altogether in an -unsteady condition; and just before the glass had touched my lips, an -involuntary convulsive shiver of disgust that came over me made me -for the moment unable to control my muscles. My shaky hand lost its -grasp of the glass, which toppled over, and spilled all the contents -over me and the bed.</p> - -<p>The nurse was as indignant at this catastrophe as if I had done it -on purpose. She had not the least pity for the horrible plight I was -in, nor did it seem to occur to her how improbable it was for any -human being to bring him or herself into such a state willingly. -"Troublesome, mischievous, awkward, careless, stupid," were the -kindest and least offensive words she uttered whilst preparing a -fresh jorum of oil. As for me, I simply endured existence in silent -misery as best I could whilst the second dose was being got ready. -All I wanted was to take that, and get it over as quickly as -possible, so that everything which the filthy oil had contaminated -might be removed, and I might be washed, and made sweet, dry, and -comfortable again.</p> - -<p>When the draught was presented to me, I made a heroic effort, flung -it down my throat, and returned the empty glass, murmuring faintly: -"Oh please, <em>do</em> make haste to rid me of all this mess!" But what was -my dismay to find that she had no intention of doing anything of the -kind! Since I had chosen to spill the oil, she said, I might just -stop in it and see how I liked it; and perhaps that would teach -me not to play tricks of that kind again. What? fetch a clean -night-dress and sheet, and a sponge to wipe my face and chest! Not -she, indeed! She had plenty of other work to do without extras of -that kind; and she had not time to stop worritting with me any -longer—I had delayed her quite long enough, as it was. So saying, -she coolly walked away, and left me helpless in a sort of castor-oil -purgatory.</p> - -<p>My misery may be imagined. The cold, clammy, wet linen chilled me; -every movement risked bringing me in fresh contact with the loathsome -stuff, which I could not touch without a shudder; and the surrounding -air was impregnated with its abominable smell. I would have done -anything to escape; and if my leg had not been fixed in the cradle, I -believe I should have rolled out of bed on to the floor, and as far -away as I could go from the hateful spot. But I was powerless to do -that, or to lessen my wretchedness by any other means; for I was not -strong enough even to pull off my night-dress unaided, nor yet to -fold back the wet part of the sheet, and shove it away to the far end -of the bed.</p> - -<p>Nor was this all I had to suffer; for the smell made my qualminess -increase every minute, and I foresaw with dismay that being sick -would probably involve a repetition of the dose.</p> - -<p>Oh, why could not I escape from this abominable odour? and could I -anyhow manage to avoid the consequences with which it threatened me? -I remembered having heard it said that sickness may sometimes be -checked by a strong effort of will. Let me see if mine would help me -in this emergency. I told myself resolutely that the unpleasant -sensations which I felt were purely imaginary, and that I need not -give way to them unless I chose. And then I tried to turn my mind to -various agreeable and interesting subjects, such as Kitty; Mrs. -Torwood's dogs; my plan for being revenged on my stepmother, and how -I would complete it as soon as I was well again;—anything under the -sun to take my thoughts off from this beastly oil! But it was no use. -The qualmy sensation forced itself to the front in spite of all I -could do; I felt that the dreaded climax was a mere matter of time, -and lay awaiting it in terror with my eyes shut. Suddenly I heard -some one say: "What a smell of castor oil! Where does it come from?"</p> - -<p>The speaker's nose naturally answered this question, and on opening -my eyes I saw the good Sister approaching me. This sight gave me a -ray of hope that I might still be saved, and she seemed to me to be a -very guardian angel. Never would I have believed that the quaint -dress which I had often laughed at and considered ugly, obtrusive, -and absurd, could have appeared to my eyes so lovely and acceptable -as it did at that moment!</p> - -<p>She perceived at a glance that the case was urgent, and went to work -to relieve me without an instant's delay. Instead of stopping to ask -questions (which would have been a needless prolongation of my -sufferings) as to how I came to be in such an oily plight, she -immediately despatched the nurse to fetch clean things, and herself -brought some strong aromatic vinegar and held it to my nose. This -neutralised the smell of the oil, revived me, and enabled me to -conquer the feeling of nausea. Her timely aid averted the catastrophe -I had been dreading, and in a wonderfully short space I enjoyed the -felicity of feeling myself purified, and restored to a dry, sweet, -and comfortable condition. Not till this had been accomplished did -she seem to think of anything else. But then she proceeded to -inquire how I had come to be in the state in which she had found me, -and to take the nurse to task for having left me so.</p> - -<p>The delinquent tried to excuse herself by saying that she had been -so exceedingly busy that she had had no choice about leaving me to go -and attend to some one else. Besides that, she added spitefully, the -accident had been all my own doing, for I had deliberately upset the -glass out of mischief.</p> - -<p>I was commencing an indignant denial of this falsehood when the -Sister interrupted me. She said it was quite immaterial whether the -glass had been overturned by accident or not, as there were no -circumstances which could justify a nurse for letting a patient -remain an instant longer than could be helped in such a state as I -had been in—all in a mess, and in wet things that might cause a -chill. The alleged press of business was no excuse either; for all -the nurses knew perfectly well that they were to ask for assistance -if they had too much to do, but were on no account to neglect a -patient. She was extremely displeased at Nurse Mary's conduct, and -proceeded to rebuke her sharply.</p> - -<p>Considering the barbarity with which that nurse had just been -behaving to me, it will not be wondered at that to hear her being -scolded gave me a sensation of acute satisfaction.</p> - -<p>But my gratification was speedily diminished as I recollected that -she would probably object to me more than ever, now that I had again -been the unlucky means of getting her into a scrape. I was filled -with alarm at the idea. If she had bullied me hitherto, what was she -likely to do in the future? And what chance had I of defending -myself from her malice? I would confide my troubles to the Sister who -had already befriended me so often, and ask her to take care of me, I -thought. Only I must mind not to let the nurse suspect that I was -complaining of her, or she would be still angrier than before with -me. I would wait till her turn of duty was over, and some other nurse -had taken her place.</p> - -<p>After the next change of nurses, therefore, I watched anxiously for -the Sister to appear in our ward. At last she arrived there, and I -made signs to her to come to my bedside. Then, whispering in a very -low voice, so that no one else should hear and report what I said to -my enemy, I begged her to protect me from Nurse Mary, who hated me, -and treated me so badly that I was afraid of her.</p> - -<p>"In what way, and on what occasions, have you been treated badly?" -asked the Sister.</p> - -<p>It was a most natural question to ask, but it was one that I was -puzzled to answer satisfactorily. Though perfectly convinced that I -needed to be defended, yet when I began recalling to mind (in order -to tell the Sister) the numerous trifling persecutions to which I -had been subjected, I found it was by no means easy to discover any -grievance that seemed important and tangible enough to take hold of -and bring forward in support of my assertions, except the recent -castor oil affair, and that she knew of already. I could not -recollect anything else that seemed worth erecting into a formal -accusation, so I only answered that I could not think of any -particular case to mention just then, but that indeed what I had said -was true, that the nurse was unkind to me always, and that I was -afraid to see her come near me.</p> - -<p>"Oh, if that is all," replied the Sister kindly, "I should hope your -fears have no real foundation; probably you have taken into your head -one of those prejudices that people are very apt to have when they -are ill; you must try and get over it, instead of indulging it. But, -in any case, you may be sure that I am looking after you, and will -see that no one hurts you, so don't alarm yourself about it."</p> - -<p>Though she spoke cheerfully and pleasantly, yet still I did not -consider my complaint had met with a very encouraging reception; and -I was desperately afraid that what I had said would be altogether -forgotten, and I should be no better off than before. But she was a -person who never turned a deaf ear to any cry for help; and I soon -saw that my appeal had not passed unheeded, and that—whether -she believed me to be mistaken or not—from that time forth her -protecting wing overshadowed me with especial closeness (yet not so -ostensibly as to make the fact generally conspicuous) when my enemy -was in command of the ward. Not only did the Sister take to coming in -and out with extra frequency at these times, but I could perceive -also that I was then sure to receive a larger share of her attention -than I did on other occasions. And as this kindly, unobtrusive, -vigilance made it impossible for me to be made to suffer seriously -without her discovering it, my peace of mind was gradually restored.</p> - -<p>Thus, thanks to the restraining presence of the Sister, Nurse Mary -could not make me as miserable as she would evidently have liked to -do; but I know very well that I should have been sadly at her mercy -if the Sister had <em>not</em> been there to look after me, for to appeal to -the doctor would almost certainly have been worse than useless. I -have known people rash enough to do that when they were dissatisfied -with their nurses, and the result of their appeals was invariably the -same. That is to say, the patient was pooh-poohed with more or less -politeness, according to the disposition of the doctor; no attempt -was made to investigate the truth of the complaint, and things went -on exactly as before, except that the nurses certainly did not -increase in amiability towards the individuals who had presumed to -find fault with them.</p> - -<p>I must say, I think it would be in the interests of the sick, if, in -both private and public cases, the doctors would beware of the blind -confidence which they, as a rule, are inclined to repose in nurses. -My experience is, that if a patient complains of his nurse to the -doctor for neglect, roughness, or any other fault, she is apt either -to relate what took place so as make it appear that she could not -possibly have acted otherwise than she did; or else to deny the -charge absolutely; or else to say, with affected compassion, that the -poor fellow sometimes wanders in his mind and does not know things -rightly, so that it is useless to think of attending to all he says. -And the doctor invariably accepts her version as the true one, and -takes it for granted that she is all right, and there is no necessity -for his interference.</p> - -<p>That a doctor should trust much to a nurse is only natural, seeing -that there are cases in illness where as much depends upon her as -upon him—perhaps even more. But her importance does not make her -infallible; and though it is all very well to have confidence in her, -yet it is carrying confidence to excess to make it a rule <em>always</em> to -think her word better than that of her patient. If a sick person's -account of his symptoms differed materially from that given by the -nurse, I suppose the doctor would hardly think it wise totally to -ignore what had been told him by the former, and to act solely upon -the information received from the latter. And ought not the same rule -to apply to other statements also?</p> - -<h2 id="c12">CHAPTER XII.<br /> - -<small>SISTER HELENA.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">My progress towards restored health was but slow; and poor I—an -individual who had always regarded with mortal aversion confinement -and monotony in every shape—was forced to undergo the tedium of a -protracted illness and convalescence. Terribly weary did I get of the -long days and nights as they dragged on without bringing anything to -amuse me, and to enliven the dulness of existence. Other patients had -friends and acquaintances who came to see them on visiting days, but -I had not even that mild excitement to look forward to, for I was -utterly solitary and unknown. Unluckily, too, the literary resources -of the place were but limited. For though there was a so-called -library yet its stock of books was lamentably small, and, as it -seemed to me, uninteresting. And though odd numbers of old magazines -and newspapers would drop in upon us at intervals, yet their -appearance was nothing like as regular and frequent as I should have -liked, or as I think it would have been if benevolently disposed -people had realised what a boon it is to many hospital patients to -know something of what goes on in the outside world from which they -are excluded.</p> - -<p>My mind, then, having but few distractions, was all the more ready -to occupy itself with whatever person or thing happened to come -prominently before it. And thus I found myself continually engaged -in studying and thinking about the Sister, who, for the time being, -filled a position of conspicuous importance in my life, as a sort of -guardian angel in whom I felt a serene confidence that she would see -I was never seriously wronged or ill-used in any way.</p> - -<p>She was the first Sister with whom I had ever come in contact, -and, by my acquaintance with her, the prejudice I had previously -entertained against all sisters was speedily swept away. Sister -Helena, as she was called, must, I think, have been between thirty -and thirty-five years old, and was tall and graceful in figure. She -had handsome features; a high broad forehead; a keen eye that seemed -to notice everything within its range; a square chin, and a firm -mouth; and no one who saw her could doubt that she possessed both -power and intelligence above the average. Her face was pale, and her -expression—except when she smiled—grave to the verge of austerity. -But it was the gravity of thoughtfulness, not of gloom and sadness; -and whatever tendency to austerity she may have had was reserved -exclusively for herself. Most certainly it was never visible in her -behaviour to the sick; for she always showed them the kindliest -sympathy and tenderness, devoting herself to them absolutely, and -treating them with a loving gentleness and tenderness that was enough -to make one suppose they were her dearest friends.</p> - -<p>As she was general superintendent of the hospital-nursing and -arrangements for the relief of the sick, she had usually too much -to do with looking after her subordinates and seeing that they did -their duty, to be able to officiate in person as nurse. But she -was thoroughly capable of doing so in case of need, and whenever -circumstances happened to make it necessary for her to bandage, sew -up, or dress wounds, or perform any other services of the kind for -patients, she was sure to do whatever was required as gently, -skilfully, and efficiently as any one—or indeed more so.</p> - -<p>One very marked distinction between her and the ordinary professional -nurses was, that she was unmistakably a lady by birth, and possessed -naturally—without effort or thinking about it—the subtle charm of -refinement. I—who had fondly imagined myself to be superior to the -influence of any sentimental vanity of that kind—was astonished and -disappointed to find how quickly I detected this in her, and how -attractive it was to me. I could not disguise from myself that I was -highly susceptible to the charm to which I had believed I was -indifferent; and that it was infinitely preferable to me to have to -do with the person in whom I instinctively recognised an equal than -with those who were inferiors. Refined associates were more congenial -to me than vulgar ones, in spite of all my knocking about; and even -though provoked at my own folly, I sometimes could not repress a sigh -to think that I had left my own rank of life in favour of a lower -one.</p> - -<p>Well; the more I observed and thought about Sister Helena, the more -did I wonder what her previous history could have been. Here was a -woman, evidently well born and bred, good-looking, below middle age, -clever, amiable, sensible, capable, and in every way qualified to -make her mark and be popular in society. Why on earth, then, should -she be spending her existence in hard work amongst the painful sights -and scenes of a hospital, instead of enjoying herself in the sphere -to which she belonged naturally? For the fact that she was at the -hospital I was profoundly thankful, because I was myself a gainer by -it; but none the less was it an inexplicable mystery to me, and one -which I was constantly endeavouring to find plausible theories to -account for.</p> - -<p>As, therefore, I was intensely curious about her, admired, liked, and -was grateful to her, and through her could enjoy the, to me, pleasant -feeling of association with a cultivated and refined lady, it -followed naturally that I sought eagerly for opportunities of having -to do with her, and never failed to profit by any excuse for making -her occupy herself about me. The pleasure her company gave me was too -evident to escape her quick observation, and when she perceived it -her kindness of heart prompted her to gratify my wishes as far as -might be; for she was one of those to whom nobody ever held out their -hands in vain. Therefore, though her multifarious avocations made it -impossible, as a rule, for her to bestow much individual attention -on any particular person whose case was not so critical and special -as to give it precedence over ordinary business, yet she would -always—unless in a <em>very</em> great hurry—stop and say a kind word to -me in passing through the ward; and sometimes, on the rare occasions -when she had a few minutes to spare, she would even come in on -purpose to chat with me. I do not know whether or not she had the -same intuitive consciousness that I had of our both belonging to the -same social order; but, at all events, there sprung up between us by -degrees an intimacy beyond that which is ordinarily produced by the -relations of nurse and patient.</p> - -<p>As it was not in her nature to see any kind of suffering without -trying to relieve it, she tried to hit upon some means of varying -the unchanging sameness of life by which she perceived me to be -oppressed. It was not possible to do much for me in this way whilst I -was tied by the leg in bed, but when at last I was able to get up and -crawl about a little with the help of sticks, she asked me if I -thought I could get as far as her room, which was on the same floor -as the ward, and only a short distance from it. On my replying in -the affirmative, she filled me with delight by inviting me to go and -have tea there with her that afternoon. Oh how impatiently I counted -the minutes till tea-time came! and how welcome and refreshing was -the change to her room from the dreary old ward of which I was so -tired!</p> - -<p>From that date our intimacy advanced much more rapidly than before; -for, as she saw how I enjoyed the visit to her room, hardly a day -passed on which I was not invited there at some time or other. It -was not often that she was able to be with me all the time, for she -was almost always called off elsewhere on business. But when this -happened she did not expect me to go back to the ward unless I chose, -and if I preferred—as I invariably did—to stay where I was, and -amuse myself with books, work, or my own thoughts whilst awaiting her -return, I was at liberty to do so. Indeed, if she had not been -willing to trust me in her room without her, it would generally not -have been worth while my going there at all; for the demands upon her -time were perpetual, and she hardly ever had any leisure. It was -Sister here and Sister there from morning till night; and, as far as -I could see, she had not a single minute in the day which she could -call her own, and reckon on as secure from interruption.</p> - -<p>I have already said that one object which I had had for desiring to -know her was, that I wanted to learn her past history, wherein I -believed must lie some mysterious reason which had caused her to -adopt her present hard, untempting, self-denying life. But as our -acquaintance progressed and I came to know her more and more, I -perceived with surprise that there was no hidden mystery at all about -the matter, and that instead of any thrilling romance or tragedy such -as I had imagined, the reason for her life was simply the love of -God, and desire to serve Him in the best way she could. That was the -sole motive for every deed, word, and thought of hers—the one -compass by which her course was steered.</p> - -<p>The reason why this discovery amazed me as it did was, that I had -never dreamt of its being possible for any one with respectable -mental abilities to take religion thus <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">au grand sérieux</i>. I -cannot say I had ever troubled my head much about religion at all; -but still I had a vague idea of it as a thing which people of weak -intellect sometimes made a fuss about, but which the wiser part of -the world treated as a mere unreal conventionality—a sort of outer -garment which was assumed and respected solely out of deference to -Mrs. Grundy.</p> - -<p>It was startling to me, therefore, to meet with such a living -contradiction of this idea as Sister Helena. She was no fool, as I -knew, but very much the reverse; and in her management of the -hospital she gave daily proofs of good sense, shrewdness, and sound -judgment, which made it impossible to think she would be led away by -visionary notions, or act lightly and without due consideration. Nor -was she a person who ever bestowed a thought upon Mrs. Grundy, or who -could be suspected of any taint of humbug and unreality in either -word or deed. Yet to this sensible, intelligent, absolutely honest -woman, religion was a fact of such vital importance as to be the -mainspring of her life—the one thing to be put before everything -else! So extraordinary did it seem to me, that I should certainly -have refused to believe in the phenomenon at all if I had not beheld -it with my own eyes.</p> - -<p>It appeared evident to me that it must need a very powerful engine -to be the motive force of such steady, self-sacrificing, practical -goodness as hers, and I thought I should like to understand somewhat -of the nature of that engine. With this object in view I directed -constant questions towards the subject that interested me, and -thus it came about that religion was the theme upon which we -conversed more frequently than any other. I do not recapitulate our -conversations, because I consider they would be out of place in a -book of this kind; but this much I will say, that they made a strong -impression on me, and caused me to think of religion very differently -from what I had done hitherto. She was the first person I had ever -met whose deeds really harmonised with her professions, and all that -she said had weight with me, because her life was an unmistakable -proof that she honestly and fully did believe the things she -professed to believe. I began to contemplate the possibility of there -being a real meaning in the creeds and prayers which I had often -heard and joined in when at church without attaching any sense at all -to them. I began, too, to have an idea that perhaps church membership -might be something more than a mere empty form, and that there might -be some real advantage in belonging to that Church of which I had -been a member all my life as a matter of course, and without ever -supposing it could make the slightest difference to me, one way or -other. And, more than all, in proportion as I became inclined to -believe in the truth and reality of religion, so also did the -conviction grow upon me that I myself was not exactly altogether what -I should be, and that it behoved me to set about reforming.</p> - -<p>I really did want to amend what was amiss, and to become better than -I was; but still I did not want to be <em>too</em> good. Such goodness as -Sister Helena's, for instance, was, I knew, far beyond my powers; and -besides that, my hearty admiration for it in her did not lead me to -desire it for myself, because I was quite sure that even if it -were possible for me to attain to such a pitch of self-denying -excellence, I should not enjoy it, as I was a deal too fond of -worldly comforts and joys ever to be happy without them.</p> - -<p>Certainly it was very singular that there should be so wide a -difference between one person's sense of duty and another's. When -first this difference struck me, I was inclined to be somewhat uneasy -at the comparatively diminutive proportions of my own virtue; but -then there occurred to me a very comfortable and reassuring way of -accounting for it. People's bodies were predisposed towards measles, -whooping cough, and other illnesses in varying degrees, and had them -lightly or severely according to the extent of that predisposition; -and some people even never had these illnesses at all—being -apparently endowed with some constitutional peculiarity which acted -as an antidote to the poison of disease. And from this I argued that -probably people's minds varied in a similar fashion in regard to -virtue—some being more, and some less receptive of it. I supposed -that a person could only be affected by religion and goodness -according to the degree of his mental predisposition towards such -things, and that some people could never be influenced by them at -all. I thought this supposition a perfectly reasonable one, and -highly satisfactory also. For in that case it was obviously absurd to -expect much goodness from a person whose mind was so constituted as -to be antagonistic to virtuous influences; and of course no one could -be blamed for what was merely a natural defect.</p> - -<p>I propounded my theory triumphantly to Sister Helena one day when -she was insisting upon the necessity of some virtue or other which I -thought ordinary mortals need not trouble themselves about. But she -refused absolutely to agree with me; declared that goodness was -equally attainable by all who chose; and laughed at the idea of -people having a natural liability towards or against it, like they -might have towards or against a fever.</p> - -<p>"All very well for you to talk," answered I; "but I should like to -know how else it's to be accounted for that some people should be so -much better than others as to become sisters, monks, and nuns, and -all that sort of thing? I'm sure it must need a very special and -uncommon predisposition towards goodness to make any one give up -every mortal thing that can make them happy—as they do!"</p> - -<p>"Not at all," she replied quickly; "you'll find good and earnest -people in the world, just as much as in convents. It's a question of -vocation—not of superior goodness. Some people have such a natural -inclination for a conventual life that they are happier there than -they would be in the world; and some people, on the other hand, are -happier in the world. Each set seeks happiness in its own way. And -for any one to join a religious community without having a real -vocation for it is a very great mistake, and not a good or desirable -thing at all."</p> - -<p>"Well, then," said I, "you believe that people are born monks and -nuns, just as they are born poets, painters, musicians, or sculptors. -<i lang="la" xml:lang="la">Nascitur non fit</i>. After all, I don't see that that's so very unlike -my predisposition theory."</p> - -<p>"Why, there's this great difference," she said smiling; "according to -<em>you</em>, some people would have no chance of goodness at all; and <em>I</em> -maintain, on the contrary, that every one has an equal chance. -Goodness certainly <em>manifests</em> itself differently in different -individuals; but you can't argue from that that it <em>exists</em> in them -in different degrees. Remember that it is no great hardship for a -person who doesn't care for society to give it up; and that you -mustn't judge the merit of an action by its effects, but by how much -it costs the doer."</p> - -<p>And then a knock at the door, and an urgent request for the Sister -to go and see after something or other immediately, terminated our -conversation abruptly as usual; and I remained alone, musing on the -fresh proof I had just received of the erroneousness of my original -ideas regarding Sisters. Never for an instant had I doubted that they -enjoyed—whether legitimately or not—a profound sense of superiority -to the general run of humanity; and now that my old prejudice against -them was overcome, I had arrived at the conclusion that, as they -really <em>were</em> immeasurably better than the rest of the world (judging -by Sister Helena), they had a perfect right to pique themselves -thereon. Yet, instead of that, Sister Helena had not only refused to -acquiesce in my ascription of honour and glory to them, but had -argued with evident sincerity to prove that there was no special -merit whatever in being a Sister! If <em>I</em> had been one, I should not -have thought anything of the sort, I knew very well.</p> - -<p>As the spark latent in flint needs a blow to bring it out, so, I -suppose, whatever capacity I possessed for faith and virtue must have -lain dormant in me till quickened to life by Sister Helena. They are -elements which cannot possibly begin to mix actively in any one's -existence without producing a commotion in that person's previous -ways of going on, and so I soon found myself sorely troubled in -mind respecting my uncompleted project for being revenged upon my -step-mother. Up to the present time I had only disquieted her with -threatening letters, and had not yet arrived at the finishing touch -of making known her humble origin to her husband and her friends. -That had necessarily been deferred by my being laid up in hospital; -but I had not given it up for a moment, and had meant that the -execution of my threats against her should be one of the first things -I would do when I should be able to get about again. In my opinion -she richly deserved punishment for the undutifulness to her mother, -ingratitude to her step-father, absurd vanity, and bad behaviour -in general, of which she had been guilty. And as my own personal -enmity for her gave me an especial willingness to be the instrument -whereby justice was to overtake her, I looked forward with extreme -satisfaction to the completion of my scheme, and regarded it as a -most righteous and proper proceeding.</p> - -<p>All of a sudden, however, this pleasant prospect was disturbed by my -newly awakened conscience insisting on taking a very different view -of the matter, and declaring that as forgiveness was a duty and -revenge was wrong, therefore I ought to give up the intention that I -was cherishing. I opposed this conviction—struggled, argued, and -tried to evade the conclusion that was so distasteful to me. But it -was no use; conscience was too strong, and stuck firmly to its point, -till I was forced, at last, reluctantly to abandon my beloved scheme.</p> - -<p>So far, therefore, virtue was victorious; but its power did not -extend far enough to prevent my regretting bitterly that I had not -fully accomplished my designs against Lady Trecastle before any new -ideas had come to interfere. Since conscience declared positively -that I ought to overcome the old grudge which I bore her, I should -have to do so; but it would now be a hard matter to accomplish, -whereas I was sure that I could have done it sweetly and with hardly -any effort at all, if only I had had the satisfaction of feeling that -my plan of revenge had been carried out fully. For forgiveness is a -duty whose performance is marvellously facilitated by the knowledge -that the offender has had to suffer in some way or other for his -wrongdoing.</p> - -<p>I was quite in earnest about desiring to be true to such light as I -had arrived at, and therefore did not exactly wish to return to my -previous unenlightened condition. Yet I sighed as it dawned upon my -mind that these new ideas might involve new restraints, and that -perhaps henceforth I should be less my own mistress than before.</p> - -<p>It would be so much easier to take to religion if it did not seem -likely to deprive me of freedom, thought I, ruefully.</p> - -<h2 id="c13">CHAPTER XIII.<br /> - -<small>A CATASTROPHE.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">At last I was pronounced fit to be discharged from the hospital, and -on the morrow I was to depart. I was still far from strong enough to -think of undertaking any employment involving hard work and exertion; -and how to keep from starving when once more turned adrift to earn my -own livelihood was a problem which I should have been puzzled to -solve if left to myself. Sister Helena, however, had come to my aid, -and procured me a light place as assistant to the owner of a small -newspaper-shop, who, on account of advancing years, wanted extra help -and was willing to engage me on her recommendation. Thus was added -another to the many benefits for which I was already indebted to that -excellent woman, whose life was one long series of acts of kindness -done, without thought of return, for whoever was in need. No wonder -that I had learnt to admire, love, trust, and look up to her as -though she had belonged to some higher order of beings! For she was -certainly immeasurably superior to any other of the human race with -whom I had ever been acquainted.</p> - -<p>My last day, then, in hospital had arrived. The desire to have a -farewell talk with the Sister in peace and comfort had made me ask -her if she could not manage that we should have a quiet half-hour -together for once, without any of the tiresome interruptions by which -our conversations were usually cut short. She had said it was -impossible for her to promise such a thing certainly, as it must -depend on what work had to be done; but that she would do her best to -arrange matters as I wished, and if successful would come and fetch -me to her room when she was at leisure. All day, therefore, did I -hope for the expected summons, and was greatly disappointed as hour -after hour passed on without my seeing or hearing anything of her. -At last, quite late in the evening, she entered the ward looking -unusually fagged, and came and sat down by me.</p> - -<p>"I've been so sorry not to be able to come for you as I'd hoped," -she said kindly, "but you know business <em>must</em> have precedence of -everything else, and I was kept so unexpectedly long with one case -that all my arrangements were upset. It was a man who was brought in -yesterday with a couple of slight scalp wounds that had to be sewn -up, and who didn't seem to have much the matter with him. But twice -to-day he got so odd that there was a doubt whether he was not going -out of his mind; and I stayed with him to see whether he was or not. -If he had been, and if he had become violent, it would have been an -awkward job to manage him, for he's immensely powerful. I never saw -any one so extraordinarily sensitive to loud sounds and commotion of -any kind as he seems to be. There was an unusually loud noise going -on both times when his oddness came on, and as the noise diminished -so did he calm down again. I'm sure he has a highly irritable nervous -system, which is excited to an almost ungovernable pitch by any fuss, -and can then only be pacified by perfect tranquillity."</p> - -<p>"Is he all right now?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"Yes, I hope so. The unfavourable symptoms didn't return, and the -doctor thought him going on quite satisfactorily. But I stayed with -the man a long time, because it was so important for him to be -watched attentively whilst we were uncertain about his sanity, that I -did not like to leave the responsibility to any one else. Then, when -I could trust him to a nurse alone, I had such an accumulation of -work to get through that I've been hard at it ever since, and not had -a moment to myself till now; so you see I had no choice about giving -up the quiet talk with you that we had proposed having. I'm on my way -back to him now, as I want to hear the nurse's account of him during -my absence."</p> - -<p>"Humph!" grunted I, feeling that I need not fear saying what I -thought, now that I was on the verge of quitting the hospital; "you -won't be much the wiser for that, if it's Nurse Mary that's looking -after him. If you knew her as well as I do, and knew how sleepy she -is, how constantly she neglects her business, and what a wonderful -facility she has for inventing false excuses when she's blamed, you'd -never believe a word she tells you."</p> - -<p>"It wasn't her I left him with, but one of the others," replied the -Sister. "To tell you the truth, I should not have trusted such a case -as that in her hands alone. For though I don't think quite so badly -of her as you do, yet still I am by no means satisfied with her. You -are not the only patient who has, either directly or indirectly, -intimated she is not what she should be; and I have myself noticed -things tending to confirm these complaints."</p> - -<p>"Why don't you get rid of her, then, when you yourself allow that -you've no confidence in her?" asked I.</p> - -<p>The Sister hesitated a moment, and then answered: "Had the matter -rested solely with me, I believe I should very likely have done so. -But when I told the authorities what I thought of her, the doctor -took her part so strongly that nothing came of it. He declared that -he saw no reason whatever to be dissatisfied with her; and that sick -people were always so fanciful, exacting, and peevish, that it was -ridiculous to take any notice of their imaginary grievances. And as -he was quite positive of being right, whilst I spoke more from -suspicion than actual knowledge of the woman's behaviour, he carried -the day. Perhaps it's as well so after all. To dismiss her would very -possibly have ruined her professional prospects; and I should never -forgive myself if I thought I had been the means of inflicting so -severe a penalty on any one without sufficient cause."</p> - -<p>"Oh Sister!" exclaimed I, abruptly; "is that the man you were talking -of?"</p> - -<p>In order to enable my readers to understand what ensued, I must delay -my narrative for a moment to explain how we were all placed.</p> - -<p>Sister Helena and I were sitting at a table about the middle of a -very long room, having a door at each end, and beds ranged down both -sides. In the bed nearest to us was a poor woman who had been badly -burnt in an explosion; and by her side stood the nurse of the ward, -employed in changing the dressings of the burns. I was the only -patient who was still up and dressed; the rest were in bed, and one -or two of them already asleep. They were all women who had been -injured severely in some way or other; and as I, though well enough -to be discharged from the hospital, was still extremely weak after my -long illness, it will be seen that Sister Helena and the nurse were -the only two able-bodied individuals in the ward.</p> - -<p>The cause of the exclamation I had uttered was this. I—who -was facing one of the doors towards which the Sister had her -back—suddenly saw that door pushed partially open, and a man's head -poked in as though for the purpose of reconnoitring. After a hasty -survey the owner followed his head quickly into the room, closed the -door cautiously behind him, executed a fantastic pirouette, advanced -a yard or so in a kind of polka-step, came to a stand-still by -a chair near the door, and commenced bowing and smiling with -extravagant gestures. On his shoulder he carried an implement used -for breaking and piercing ice, which was rather like a hammer, with a -sharp, triangular, steel spike at one end of the head. He was big, -broad-shouldered, and muscular; his head was bound up in bandages; -and he was clad in shirt, trousers, and socks. In consequence -of having no shoes on, his movements were noiseless; and this -noiselessness considerably enhanced the uncanny and startling effect -produced by the sudden appearance amongst us of so strange a figure, -demeaning itself in so eccentric a manner.</p> - -<p>Sister Helena looked round at my exclamation, and a momentary -expression of horror crossed her face, and showed me that my -conjecture had been right, and that our visitor was the man of whom -she had been speaking. But that one transient look of horror was -the only sign of nervousness she gave, and she did not lose her -self-possession and composure for an instant. "Yes," she answered me -quietly, turning towards the nurse who, as I have said, was employed -not far from us. "Nurse!" she said, softly. The woman looked up from -her occupation and saw the intruder, whom she at once recognised as -the patient whose sanity had been considered doubtful. His present -appearance left very little doubt about the matter, and she was -naturally filled with consternation at the sight of an armed madman -like him in the midst of a lot of helpless women. Dropping the -dressings she had in her hand, she started violently, and was about -to break forth into exclamations, when the Sister checked her by -continuing in the same low, steady voice:</p> - -<p>"Hush! make no fuss or he'll get worse. Go for help. As long as -you're in the ward, walk quietly, as if nothing was the matter; and -as soon as you're outside, run as fast as you can. I'll stay here, -and try to prevent his doing any harm till help comes."</p> - -<p>"Indeed, 'tisn't safe for you to stay, Sister," whispered the -frightened nurse; "he's raving mad by the looks of him, and goodness -only knows what he mayn't do!"</p> - -<p>"All the more reason some one should stay and take care of the sick," -returned the other. "Off with you! mind not to hurry till you're out -of the ward; and then, the faster you go the better."</p> - -<p>Judging by the nurse's appearance, I should say it was fortunate for -her character for obedience that she was not told to remain in the -ward instead of to leave it; for I am inclined to doubt whether any -power on earth would have induced her voluntarily to stay in so -unsafe a neighbourhood. As it was, however, her orders exactly -corresponded to her inclinations, and she promptly set out towards -the door opposite to that near which the man had taken up his -position. He had left off bowing and smiling by this time, and was -seated in the chair, leaning forward meditatively and scratching the -floor with the point of his weapon, and apparently unconscious of the -presence of any one else.</p> - -<p>"If he'll stay like that till help comes, we shall do," whispered the -Sister to me. "I'm sure he's a man for whom quiet is <em>everything</em>; -what I dread is any fuss or noise to irritate him. It's lucky all the -patients are in bed, so that he doesn't see people moving about."</p> - -<p>This was all very well; but then there was no <em>certainty</em> of -his continuing to stay quiet. And supposing he were to become -mischievous, what chance had any of us in the ward of defending -ourselves against a powerful, armed madman? So strongly was this -borne in upon me that I felt an ignominious desire to get up and -follow the retreating nurse, and was only prevented from doing so by -my affection for Sister Helena. For some inexplicable reason or other -I did not like to go away and leave her in danger, even though I was -perfectly aware that I was too feeble to have a chance of being of -any assistance if the man <em>did</em> become violent. Besides that, I saw -how anxious she was to keep everything as quiet as possible; and -perceived also that as the departure of two people would necessarily -create more disturbance than that of one, therefore my going away -must certainly be contrary to her wishes. On no account would I cause -her one atom of additional worry and annoyance; I could sit still, at -least, though there was no other way in which I could help her. So, -notwithstanding my state of inward trepidation, I stayed where I was, -and hoped that the nurse might be fortunate in meeting with succour -speedily.</p> - -<p>Unluckily I was not the only person on whom the preservation of -tranquility in the ward depended. The other patients, having heard -nothing of the possibility of the presence of a lunatic in the -building, had at first had no suspicion of the real state of affairs -when they beheld the stranger's entrance. Still, they were uneasy, -because what was taking place was evidently altogether unusual; and -what is out of the common is, for that reason alone, presumed to be -alarming by the majority of mankind. And they found confirmation for -their apprehensions in the ominous haste with which the nurse went -out of the ward; for, in spite of the caution she had received, she -made her exit in a manner that was decidedly suggestive of flight.</p> - -<p>From one bed after another issued whimperings, timid cries, or eager -demands to know what was the matter; and the murmurs and outcries -were rising swiftly to an uproar when they were repressed by the -Sister. Speaking loud enough to be heard by all, she said that she -would take care of every one there, but that she insisted on strict -silence. That sufficed to quell the gathering storm; for there was -not a soul in the place but had confidence in Sister Helena.</p> - -<p>The noise made, however, had already taken effect on the maniac, and -aroused him from his previous meditative condition. Springing up and -flourishing the ice-hammer in the air wildly, he mounted upon the -seat of the chair in which he had been sitting, and began to speak.</p> - -<p>Sister Helena had been hitherto standing quiet in pursuance of her -policy of keeping everything as absolutely still as possible. But on -seeing his increased excitement, she began to advance gently towards -him—moving slowly and apparently carelessly, but getting steadily -nearer to him. Forgetting my uselessness and my fear of the man, I -rose instinctively to accompany her when she set out; but she -motioned me back, saying quickly:</p> - -<p>"No; stay quiet. It's <em>my</em> business to protect the patients—not -<em>yours</em>."</p> - -<p>All this takes time to write down; but in actual fact it occupied -very few seconds, and it was still too soon to look for succour -to arrive, unless the nurse's search for it should have been -unexpectedly fortunate.</p> - -<p>The idea which had seized the madman appeared to be, that he was in -the middle of delivering a lecture on anatomy or some subject of that -kind; and he seemed most intent upon the theme which he imagined -himself to be pursuing, as he shouted out:</p> - -<p>"And now, ladies and gents, I come to that wonderful horgin—the brain. -Wait one moment whilst I get one to show you; for hillustrations is -hindispersible to the lecterer!"</p> - -<p>With these words, he jumped off the chair, brandishing his weapon, -and approached the nearest bed, wherein lay a woman whose leg and -ribs had been broken, and whose injured limb was fixed in a cradle. -She—perceiving that he had sinister designs upon her—began to -scream dismally, and to make unavailing efforts to extricate herself -from the bed and try to escape. Her screams were echoed by many -of the other patients, who, convinced they were all going to be -murdered, and filled with dismay on their own account as well as -hers, either forgot or ignored the command which had been given for -silence. Sister Helena, rushing forward to the rescue, reached the -bedside just in time to interpose herself between the shrieking, -struggling, fear-distraught woman calling piteously for help, and the -man who was on the point of attacking her.</p> - -<p>"Get out of the way there!" exclaimed he fiercely to the Sister, "or -I'll take your brain instead. I'm bound to have one for my lecter!"</p> - -<p>"Oh no!" she replied calmly; "the lecture is put off till to-morrow, -so you won't want a brain till then."</p> - -<p>The tranquility of her looks and manner seemed to produce an -impression on him; for he lowered his weapon, and looked perplexed, -and as if doubting whether to believe her or not. If only the other -inmates of the ward had obeyed her instructions and kept quiet, I -think that even then she would have been able to restrain him. But -the clamour they made served to excite him afresh and add fuel to -his frenzy.</p> - -<p>"Nonsense!" he shouted; "I'm wanted to go hon with the lecter at -once. Don't you hear 'em calling me back? If you hinder me, I'll -kill you!"</p> - -<p>Pushing her aside so roughly that she staggered and nearly fell, he -returned to his original victim, whom he caught hold of with one -hand, while with the other he raised the hammer to strike. The -blow was about to fall when it was arrested by Sister Helena, who -recovered her equilibrium in time to spring back and seize his -uplifted arm. Shaking her off as if she had been a feather, he turned -upon her with a savage cry, and raised his weapon once more. In -another moment it descended, and was buried with all his force in the -centre of her forehead. She sunk to the ground with one shuddering -groan at the very instant that the nearest door was burst open, and -two or three men rushed in. Flinging themselves upon the maniac -before he had well realised their presence, they succeeded—after a -short furious struggle—in overpowering him and carrying him off. But -they were too late, alas, to save the life of the best and noblest -human being I have ever known; for the sharp spike of the ice-hammer -had penetrated to her brain, and killed her instantaneously. And so -ended the life of one who died as she had lived,—that is to say, -devoting herself voluntarily and unreservedly to the good of others. -Characteristic of her, also, was the manner of disposal of her body, -which was burnt in a crematorium, in accordance with her own -frequently expressed wishes on the subject. For it was horrible to -her to think that her material part might possibly, after death, be -the means of bringing death and sorrow to the fellow-creatures whom -she loved so well, by poisoning the air they breathed or the water -they drank; and, therefore, she had always been a steady upholder of -cremation.</p> - -<p>When the history of the catastrophe which had caused her untimely end -was investigated, it came out that the person in charge of the man -when he made his escape had been Nurse Mary after all, and that what -had happened was owing to her negligence. The way of it was this: The -nurse with whom he had been left, being taken ill suddenly, and -thinking that an hour's quiet would put her right again, had had -recourse to one of her fellows to replace her whilst she went to lie -down, and that other individual had happened to be Nurse Mary. Before -going away the nurse who was ill had not neglected to caution her -substitute of the special reason that existed for watching the -patient carefully, and Nurse Mary had assured her she might be -quite easy on that score—which assurance, however, had in no wise -prevented her who gave it from acting in her usual manner, and going -to sleep when so inclined. Thus, when the man's insanity returned, -there was no one to hinder his roaming off wherever the fancy took -him. And this was how he came to arrive at our ward, armed with the -ice-hammer, which he had happened to see and pick up on the way.</p> - -<p>Had Nurse Mary had her deserts and been dismissed from the hospital -long before, Sister Helena's life would not have been cut short by -the madman. But she was sacrificed, in my opinion, partly to the -nurse's inefficiency, and partly to the folly of the doctor, who had -refused to believe it possible for patients to have any real cause of -complaint against a nurse, and had not hesitated to condemn their -assertions as unfounded without inquiry, and had therefore opposed -the dismissal of the nurse they had complained of.</p> - -<p>Brief as was my acquaintance with Sister Helena, it sufficed to make -an indelible impression on my life; and it is owing to her influence, -and to the seed she sowed, that I am no longer the unprincipled, -heathen, scampish individual that I was before I knew her—a woman -whose life was more in harmony with the Saviour's precept than that -of any one else whom I have ever known, "A new commandment I give -unto you, That ye love one another."</p> - -<h2 id="c14">CHAPTER XIV.<br /> - -<small>A CHANGE OF FORTUNE.</small></h2> - -<p class="noindent">On leaving the hospital I straightway entered the situation as -assistant newspaper-seller which Sister Helena had procured for me. -I did not contemplate staying there long, because, as the work was -light, the pay was proportionately small; so as soon as my health -should be thoroughly re-established, I meant to give up vending -papers, and look out for some more remunerative employment; providing -always that it was one which I could obtain honestly, for I was quite -determined not to have recourse to any more false testimonials in -future. But an undreamt of surprise was in store for me, and all my -schemes were destined to be completely altered before I had been many -weeks at my new post.</p> - -<p>When, as sometimes happened, business was slack, I had nothing to do -but to wait idly for customers to appear; and on these occasions I -usually beguiled the time by studying some of the papers which -composed our stock in trade. One day whilst thus engaged I was -astonished to come across an advertisement commencing thus: -"Gilbertina, daughter of the late Sir Anthony Trecastle of Castle -Manor—" Having read so far, I put down the paper. The <em>late</em> Sir -Anthony! Then my father must have died whilst I was in the hospital, -for I had heard of him as alive and well shortly before that. He and -I had never cared for one another, but notwithstanding this mutual -indifference, it gave me a shock to learn thus suddenly that he was -dead. So many thoughts and recollections of old days rushed into my -mind, that it was some little time before I remembered that I had not -yet finished reading the advertisement, and that as it began with my -name, I had probably better see what it was all about.</p> - -<p>This was how the whole ran:—"Gilbertina, daughter of the late Sir -Anthony Trecastle of Castle Manor, is requested to communicate with -Messrs. Fox and Snail, Lincoln's Inn Fields, from whom she will hear -of something greatly to her advantage."</p> - -<p>What could Messrs. Fox and Snail, who had been, as I knew, my -father's solicitors, have to tell me, I wondered? and should I -answer this advertisement of theirs or not? If I did, I must -evidently surrender the "incog." which I had hitherto preserved -so successfully, and in that case I saw that I could not reckon -certainly on being able to resume it again. Therefore the question -which I put before myself to be decided upon was this: Am I inclined -to take a step which may involve my leaving the independent career on -which I am launched, and going back to my original station of life?</p> - -<p>Well! I had by this time discovered that people who were by birth and -education my equals were, as a rule, more congenial associates to me -than my inferiors; I knew, too, that I had an innate and ineradicable -prejudice in favour of the name of Trecastle, which would make it -pleasant to me once more to call myself by it openly; for even though -I had voluntarily discarded it, yet I had always felt a secret pride -in thinking that it was mine, and that I had the right to bear it if -I chose. Besides this, my experiences had taught me to appreciate -better than formerly the comfort of having my bread and butter found -for me, instead of being obliged to find it for myself, and I had -learnt that there are sometimes drawbacks attendant upon earning -one's own livelihood, notwithstanding the halo of adventure and -enterprise surrounding that process, which constituted its principal -attraction in my eyes. Furthermore, Messrs. Fox and Snail promised to -tell me of what would be greatly to my advantage, and it is not in -human nature to feel averse to hearing of anything that answers to -that description, or to learn that such information is to be had, -without being curious to know exactly what it may be. Altogether, -therefore, there was clearly a good deal to be said in favour of my -complying with the request in the advertisement, and consenting to -become Gilbertina Trecastle once more.</p> - -<p>But then, on the other hand, it seemed to me that however desirable -this course might be in some ways, its advantages would be more than -counterbalanced if it involved anything derogatory to my dignity. -Upon no account whatever would I condescend to take any step which -could be construed into a confession of failure and defeat, or be -considered equivalent to taking cap in hand, and suing humbly for -reinstatement. No, indeed! I had supported myself by my own exertions -ever since I had left home, and saw no reason to doubt my being able -to continue to do so. Therefore I had neither failed nor been -defeated, and it was not likely that I was going to do anything to -give rise to a contrary supposition.</p> - -<p>After careful consideration of the advertisement, however, I came -to the conclusion that there was nothing to compromise dignity in -responding to such an invitation as it contained, and that I could -do so without any fear of injuring my self-respect, or appearing to -humiliate myself either in my own eyes, or in those of other people. -And, my pride being thus satisfied, I went next day to the office in -Lincolns Inn Fields, announced who I was, and inquired what Messrs. -Fox and Snail had to tell me.</p> - -<p>The information I received in reply was this. Before my father left -England, immediately after my mother's death, he made a will and -deposited it with his solicitors. He seems to have thought of -altering it after his second marriage, for he observed to them -casually once, that he should not wonder if he were to make a fresh -will some day or other when he had not anything else to do, and -happened to be in the humour for it. But whatever his intentions on -the subject may have been, that day was still to come when he died -suddenly. The only will he left was the one already mentioned, and -as in that he bequeathed everything he had to me, it was now only -necessary that I should prove my identity in order to enter into -possession of my inheritance without further obstacle. I had but -little difficulty in establishing satisfactorily that I really was -Gilbertina Trecastle, and as soon as that had been done, my fortunes -changed for the better as suddenly as though a benevolent magician -had waved his wand over them. Instead of being an ill-paid shop -assistant at the beck and call of an employer, I found myself raised -all at once to a position of ease and independence, with ample means, -and no one to dictate to or interfere with me. And this latter -condition was, as may be imagined, decidedly preferable to the former -one.</p> - -<p>Considering the manner of my departure from home, and the antipathy -that had always existed between my step-mother and me, I certainly -anticipated that she would now disapprove of me more strongly than -ever, and avoid having to do with me as much as possible. But it -seemed that the transformation of my circumstances had worked an -equally marvellous transformation in her opinion of me; for the tone -she adopted towards me was totally different from what it had been in -the days of my insignificance, when I could be snubbed and bullied to -any extent with impunity. Then she had been all verjuice, gall, and -vinegar: now she was all honey, oil, and butter. Then she had -pronounced me ignorant, stupid, evil-disposed, tiresome, all that was -objectionable, and utterly unfit to be admitted into society: now she -sang my praises unweariedly whenever she had an opportunity, and -declared me to be clever, amusing, witty, agreeable, and in every way -charming and delightful. How she can have thought it likely for any -one of ordinary intelligence to be taken in by such palpable and -unblushing humbug, I cannot imagine. Certainly the chief effect it -had upon me was to make me feel more disgusted with her than ever, -and wonder whether there was <em>any</em> limit to her capacity for toadying -and cringing when she thought it suited her game to do so.</p> - -<p>Of course I knew very well that she would not be thus anxious to -curry favour with me for nothing; and that there was sure to be some -secret motive for all the lying compliments and fulsome flattery with -which she sought to impress me favourably, and to make me forget her -former conduct. Very soon this motive became apparent; for the hints -she gave showed plainly that, as she found Castle Manor an extremely -comfortable abode, she did not at all want to leave it, and was in -hopes of being able to establish herself there permanently.</p> - -<p>I really must not be offended at her frankness, she said; but I had -such a place in her affection and esteem, and she was so anxious for -my welfare, that she could not resist giving me a word of advice, -even at the risk of being thought interfering. In her opinion I -was too young and inexperienced to live alone, and I should find -the management of property a great tie and worry. She did hope, -therefore, that I would get some older person to live with me, whom I -could regard as a friend; who would set me free to amuse myself by -relieving me of business cares when I liked; and who would be always -at hand to be consulted in case of need. There would certainly be -plenty of candidates for the post of companion to an individual so -attractive and popular as I was, to associate with whom would be a -constant pleasure and privilege; so I might reckon on a wide field to -choose from, as soon as I should make known what I wanted. Till then, -was there any way in which <em>she</em> could be useful? Would I not like -her to stay for a while and help me to settle down comfortably? I had -only to say the word, and she would be most happy to fall in with any -arrangement of the kind that I might propose.</p> - -<p>I, however, had not the slightest wish to have her as an inmate of my -house on any terms at all. To forgive her was one thing; to live with -her was another. Having learnt that it was a duty to forgive her, I -had made up my mind to do so, and had therefore renounced all -intention of revealing her early history and plebeian connections, or -making any other attempt to pay her off for past injuries. But beyond -that point, it seemed to me I was not bound to go; and I saw no kind -of necessity for inviting her to live with me. She could not be in -want of money, as she still possessed whatever she had had when she -married my father. And if she disliked solitude, she could go and -domicile herself with one of her own daughters—both of whom had got -married during my absence from home. Evidently, therefore, there was -no possible reason for me to think that I ought to inflict her -company upon myself; and I might, with a clear conscience, turn a -deaf ear to her overtures. So, instead of responding as she hoped, I -took the liberty of giving her plainly to understand that the sooner -she cleared out of Castle Manor the better, as I was in a hurry to -occupy my house, and only waited for her departure in order to do so.</p> - -<p>I really did try hard not to do anything needlessly harsh by her. But -she would <em>not</em> go till I put my foot down firmly and unmistakably; -and it was scarcely to be expected that I should, of my own free will -and without any feeling of obligation in the matter, ever choose to -live in the same house with her again. So I do not know that I could -well have acted otherwise than I did.</p> - -<p>Finding that I stuck firmly to my point, she took herself off at -last; whereupon I went straight home, and have lived there the -greater part of the time since—endeavouring to the best of my -ability to perform the duties of my new position as a lady squire. -What with looking after the interests—both physical and moral—of my -tenants and poorer neighbours, and managing my house and estate, I -have plenty of occupation to keep my brain active and to interest -me; and, consequently, I have taken to this quiet country existence -much more kindly than I should have imagined possible in the days -when I had not become acquainted, by personal experience, with -the feelings of a landowner. But that does not prevent me from -contemplating another foreign trip before long; for my natural spirit -of restlessness and adventure is too vigorous to rest satisfied -without an occasional indulgence.</p> - -<p>My present age is just twenty-four; but I often find it hard to -realise that I am not a great deal older than that, when I come in -contact with other young ladies of the same age. I seem to have -knocked about the world and seen so much more of it than they have, -as a rule, that I can hardly fancy it possible for the length of -their lives and mine to be identical—unless they have wasted their -opportunities sadly!</p> - -<p>As Kitty Clement has played a somewhat prominent part in these pages, -it may be well that I should tell all I know of her career up to this -time. Since my restoration I have seen her several times at parties -in London, and have, on these occasions, studied her only from a -distance; because, as I am not anxious to be recognised as her -former maid, Jill, I do not intend to claim kindred, renew the old -acquaintance begun at Lugano, or do anything else that would direct -her attention to me. But the strange charm which she always had for -me is not yet wholly dead; and I still cannot help observing her -course with an interest which I do not feel in that of any one else. -Her great object evidently is, to make her husband a conspicuous -figure in the political world. She has persuaded the Premier to -appoint him to some government office of minor importance; receives -at her parties hosts of members of parliament, fashionables, and -lions, once a week regularly; and does all she can to increase the -influence and popularity of his name in every way possible. If he had -anything like her ability, strength, and wits, and were as much above -the common run of men as she is above that of women, her help would -certainly make him Prime Minister before long. But, unluckily for her -schemes, his talents are in no respect above the average; and though -he discharges the duties of his office in a most painstaking and -praiseworthy manner, yet devotion to work alone will never enable a -man to rank as a great leader. Even, however, if her ambition should -not be fully gratified, she may at all events congratulate herself on -being an extremely great lady, and enjoying a position that many -women would deem the acme of felicity. She interchanges dinners with -royalties; her parties are thronged; and as I frequently see her -goings and comings chronicled in the newspapers, I imagine that she -has attained sufficient celebrity for the general public to wish to -be informed of her movements. And what more than that does the heart -of an ordinary woman desire?</p> - -<p>She has presented her husband with an heir to the title, and other -children also; she is spoken of as an exemplary wife and mother; -no breath of slander has ever touched her; and she is—to all -appearance—as perfectly contented with her lot as she certainly has -cause to be. As for the feeling she once had for Captain Norroy, I -have no doubt it has been crushed to nothing, and that when he and -his wife are amongst her guests, she behaves to them exactly as she -does to every one else—that is to say, with a stately graciousness -and <i class="loanword">aplomb</i> which seem as though beyond the power of human beings or -events to ruffle.</p> - -<p>Yet the expression of her face strikes me as being strangely hard and -cold for a person so admired and popular as she is, and who is so -successful in making herself generally agreeable. It is not the look -of a woman who has all she wants, but of one who has incased herself -in impervious armour, which she never lays aside, and which no soft -emotion can penetrate either from within or from without. And -notwithstanding all her prosperity and appearance of contentment, I -cannot help doubting whether she is really and in her secret soul -happy. Does ambition fill and satisfy her life entirely? Or is there -room for any lurking regret for the dream of love that came to her -once—the romance that might have been, which is now buried far out -of sight, and can never come to life again?</p> - -<p>And sometimes, too, I wonder, whether her nature was always as stony -as it is now (for even to her husband and children she is rather kind -than loving), whether her softness towards Captain Norroy was only -the exception that proved the rule, and whether she ever has felt or -could feel genuine, warm affection for other people. She seems -incapable of tenderness now; but I am not sure whether before her -marriage she may not have had a capacity for loving which she has now -lost—perhaps killed deliberately for fear of its proving troublesome -to her. And if so, and if in those days she and I had been thrown -together (as might very likely have happened, had it not been for my -step-mother) as equals instead of as mistress and maid, should we -have become friends, I wonder?</p> - -<p>Who can say! Now, as always, she is an enigma hard to read.</p> - -<p class="centre spaceabove"><small>THE END.</small></p> - -<p class="centre spaceabove"><small><i>Printed by</i> <span class="smcap">R. & R. 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