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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7761ec4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #64895 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64895) diff --git a/old/64895-0.txt b/old/64895-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index b5d67e2..0000000 --- a/old/64895-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1463 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Musical Travels Through England, by Joel -Collier - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Musical Travels Through England - -Author: Joel Collier - -Release Date: March 21, 2021 [eBook #64895] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: deaurider, Les Galloway and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was - produced from images generously made available by The Internet - Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUSICAL TRAVELS THROUGH -ENGLAND *** - - Transcriber’s Notes - -Obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected, but period -spelling remains unchanged. Quotation marks around dialogue was absent -in some paragraphs and has been corrected. - -Italics are represented thus _italic_ and underline -thus +underline+. - - - - - MUSICAL TRAVELS - - THROUGH - - ENGLAND. - - BY - - JOEL COLLIER, ORGANIST. - - - Nam, adhuc per domum, aut hortos cecinerat; quos ut - parùm celebres, et tantæ voci angustos, spernebat. - Non tamen ROMÆ incipere ausus. - T A C. - - - LONDON: - - Printed for G. +KEARSLY+, in Fleet-street. - M. DCC. LXXIV. - - (Price One Shilling.) - - - - - TO THE - - GOVERNORS of the HOSPITAL for the Maintenance and Education of exposed - and deserted young Children. - - - GENTLEMEN, - -_While I was extracting the following sheets from my voluminous -Journal, and connecting them together as accurately as I was able, -in order to present the Public with a Specimen of my laborious -investigation of the present state of_ MUSIC _in this my native -country, I was somewhat at a loss to whom I could with most propriety -inscribe my work. Whether to_ DOCTOR BURNEY_, as the original inventor -of this species of composition, and the first musical traveller of our -nation, to whom I stand so much indebted for the plan, and conduct -of my book, and of whom I might truly say in his own words, “that -he has long been my_ magnus Apollo_:”—or whether I was in duty bound -to pay homage to the King of_ Prussia_, as the greatest_ Dilettante -_performer of the age; who, I suppose, at this present writing, like -another_ Nero_, is playing his new_ Solfeggi _to the dying groans of -the obstinate_ Dantziggers_;—or whether I ought not to call forth -from his obscurity that venerable Judge, who contented with less -ambitious pleasures, cultivates the fine arts by humbler and modester, -but not less curious experiments, and amuses the leisure hours of -a long vacation in_ caponizing blackbirds[1]_; or whether I should -not do well to express my gratitude, and that of the nation, to the -honourable Directors of our Opera, for having at last condescended to -permit an_ Englishwoman _to be called_ Signora_, and by virtue of that -title to share some of the princely incomes which have been hitherto -lavished on_ Italians_, and which, I dare say, those worthy Noblemen -and Gentlemen would as readily bestow upon_ EnglishMEN_, if they -would but consent to be properly_ qualified. _This dilemma, however, -was at an end, as soon as I learnt, that Dr._ Burney_, and Signor_ -Giardini_, had, under your authority, just founded a school for music -(in imitation, I suppose, of the Italian_ Conservatorios_) in the_ -FOUNDLING HOSPITAL_, where about an hundred of such poor children, as -have hitherto been placed out to trades and services, in which they -had no opportunity of making_ a noise _in the world, are, in future, -to be trained to harmony from their infancy, and constantly employed -in the study of music; ’till in process of time they take their -regular degrees as_ Doctors_, and_ Doctoresses _of music, and come -forth, sufficiently accomplished (as they must be under such masters,) -to form the national taste, by the true_ Italian _standard. When I -was informed of this event, I hailed the happy omen, the dawn of an_ -Augustan æra_; and resolved to offer my tribute of congratulation and -applause, and to dedicate this work to a set of gentlemen, who have so -distinguished their zeal for the interest and advancement of music. -Perhaps it will at first appear a bold undertaking in the guardians of -deserted orphans, chiefly supported by parliamentary grants of public -money, to declare, that they cannot be maintained by the public for a -more useful purpose, than to be taught to sing and play_ Italian _airs. -For men of narrow and contrasted minds, who have neither_ ear_, nor_ -voice_, nor_ hand_, will still imagine, that it might prove of more -national utility, to breed these adopted children of the public, to -Husbandry, Navigation, &c. the objects of their original destination; -than to convert one of the noblest of our public charities into a -nursery for the supply of musical performers at our Theatres, gardens, -and hops.—But this is a vulgar prejudice. The improvement of the fine -arts ought to be the first object of public attention in an age of -luxury,_ PEACE_, and plenty, like the present; when we have rivalled -the_ Italians _in music, it will be time enough to think of our navy, -and our agriculture. We have already (to our shame be it spoken,) -better sailors than fiddlers, and more farmers than_ contrapuntists_. -But as I take this circumstance to arise entirely from the different -degree of encouragement those occupations have hitherto received; -I do not despair of seeing the reverse take place, when gentlemen -of your rank deign to stand forward, and correct the errors of the -public, by the influence and sanction of your example. Should any -obstacles arise to impede the immediate execution of your plan, from -some obsolete but unrepealed parliamentary restrictions, doubtless -the same legislators who so readily expended the public money in the -purchase of Sir_ William Hamilton_’s_ collection _of antique vases, -and_ Etruscan _rarities, will not only repeal any former act which may -stand in your way; but rejoice in a fresh opportunity of displaying -their fine taste and love of the arts, by laying an additional tax -upon such of the necessaries of life as are not already overloaded, in -order to raise a competent sum for the purchase of the best_ Cremonas_, -and other instruments which can be procured on the continent, for the -service of your_ Academia_. I have only to add, gentlemen, that if upon -a perusal of the following sheets you shall find, as I am persuaded -you will, that my travels are also[2] in some measure, a matter of -national concern; I hope you will be kind enough to second my intended -application to parliament, that the charges of my future expeditions -may be defrayed at the public expence. This, gentlemen, may be done by -a very short clause; and as it will enable me to pursue my enquiries -with spirit, credit, and success, will lay a lasting obligation upon,_ - - _Gentlemen,_ - - _Your very obedient,_ - - _and devoted humble Servant,_ - - JOEL COLLIER. - -[1] Vide the last Vol. of the _Philosophical Transactions_. - -[2]—“He was the first who seemed to think my journey was, in some -measure, a matter of national concern.” - TOUR TO GERMANY, &c. - - - - -[Illustration: A collection of Instruments] - - - MUSICAL TRAVELS, _&c._ - - -I was born in the Parish of _Gotham_, in the county of _Nottingham_: -my father was a sawyer, and my mother had, for many years before -her marriage, cried oysters and Newcastle-salmon about the streets -of London. Neither of them are said to have been remarkable for -their vocal or instrumental talents. My mother’s voice was, indeed, -exceedingly shrill and dissonant, as I have been credibly informed by -the neighbours; however, I was no sooner born than I gave proofs of -uncommon musical propensities. I entered the world, singing, instead of -crying; at least, my squall was truly melodious, and ravished the ears -of the midwife; tho’, I must confess, the envious old hag of a nurse -did pretend that my mother and Mrs. _Midnight_ mistook the origin of -the wild notes I uttered as soon as I saw the light; and, insisting -that they only denoted the wind-cholic, immediately drenched me with a -large dose of rhubarb: however, she has candidly confessed, that she -easily sang me to sleep whenever I was peevish, and that even by means -of such simple melody as _Jack Sprat_, or _hey diddle diddle, the cat -and the fiddle_. A harsh and menacing recitative would as effectually -deter me from a naughty trick, as a good whipping. The sound of a -drum, or any other martial music, had such an immediate effect upon my -nerves, that I was always obliged to be turned dry before the piece was -half over. The famous _March in Saul_ is too powerful for me even at -this day, tho’ I can stand any other, without being offensive. Indeed, -I am so well convinced of the connection between the sound and the -sense in all good music, that I will venture to prescribe _Handel’s -water-piece_, and _water parted from the sea_, as specifics for a -strangury. I know that there is great truth in what _Shakespear_ says -of the bag-pipe; and I have observed that a jockey always whistles to -his horse upon these occasions, which never fails to produce great -effects, tho’ the performer want brilliancy of execution ever so much. - -One of the first circumstances I myself can recollect in my early -years, was the great pleasure I took in hearing a blind boy play tunes -on a bladder of air press’d between a bow-stick and its string. The -Jew’s-harp next engaged my attention; and afterwards the bag-pipe and -bassoon. Indeed I do remember having been told by my Grandmother, that -whilst I was yet in coats, I took vast delight in pinching the tails -of the Parson’s litter of pigs, and would listen to their various -notes and tones from the _f_ sharp of the whine of the least of the -family, quite down to the _b_ flat of the boar himself. This, with my -attention to my coral and bells, and rattle, singing thro’ a comb and -brown paper, together with the great expertness I afterwards shew’d in -making whistles of reeds, and the recent bark of sycamore twigs, made -the oldest people of the parish foretel, that I should one day or other -become a great and celebrated Musician. - -My taste for the sister art of music, Poetry, was likewise, as I am -inform’d, observed very early in my childhood; as I always held my -mouth wide open, when the Psalm was sang at our Parish-Church; and -soon was able to repeat without book a great part of _Sternhold_ and -_Hopkins_’s excellent version of that great Dilettanti performer on the -harp, King _David_’s pieces. - -Having been well inform’d that the infancy, and indeed the riper -years of the great Mus. D. or musical Doctor (whom I call, _par -excellence_, DR. MUS) passed in much the same manner, and with similar -expectations from all the old ladies of his acquaintance; and having -observed with what _eclat_, and indeed universal approbation of all -people of taste, his ingenious account of his ingenious travels has -been received, I conceived a design of following so illustrious an -example, and travelling through the dominions of _England_, _Scotland_ -and _Ireland_, with the town of _Berwick_ upon _Tweed_, to give a true -state of the musical improvement and progression in these kingdoms; -and hope I may flatter myself, that the Dr. himself will applaud my -undertaking, and consider it as a proper supplement to his elaborate -work. - -Before I set forwards on my travels, I chose to change my name from -_Collier_ to _Coglioni_ or _Collioni_, as more euphonious; and on the -first of April, having torn myself from the arms of my weeping wife, -and four small children, I put my bassoon into a green-bag, and slung -it across my shoulders; my large violoncello was laid on my knee as I -sat in the waggon, and my clothes, with a bottle of brandy and some -biscuits, were pack’d up in the viol-case. As I was neither patronized, -nor franked on my tour by any Dilettanti Lord, I must confess the low -state of my circumstances, and the poverty in which I had left my -family, cast a damp on my spirits; but this was always soon dissipated -by an air on the violoncello, and by recollecting the great advantages -my travels, to enquire into the state of music in this island, would be -to my dear native country, and the fame and glory I should acquire by -the publication of my work, perhaps only inferior to that of the great -Dr. _Mus_ himself. - - Inspir’d by taste, o’er lands and seas HE flew, - Europe he saw, and Europe saw him too. - Thro’ lands of singing, or of dancing slaves, - Love-echoing woods, and lute-resounding waves. - O while along the stream of time, that name - Expanded flies, and gathers all its fame; - Say, shall my little bark attendant sail, - Pursue the triumph and partake the gale?— - - - - - LINCOLN. - - -Thus occasionally consoling myself, the waggon arrived at the famous -and ancient city of _Lincoln_. My first visit was to a young lady of -high musical acquirements. She received me with a most bewitching -air, which she sang to her guittar, for she had heard of my fame at -_Gotham_, and was not unapprized of my ambulatory design: her name was -originally _Fernihough_, but she had long dropped the _hough_ at the -end of it, as gothic and inharmonious. Thus she saluted me: - -“Dear Collioni, Collioni, Collioni; Dear, dear, dear, Collioni; Happy, -happy, Gotham, Gotham; Gotham, Gotham, happy Gotham.” - -I could only bow and smile in answer to this compliment, (which indeed, -tho’ very elegant, I did not conceive was above my merits,) as I had -not an extempore sonnet ready made to answer it. - -Then taking my hand with a delightful air, she introduced me to Dr. -_Dilettanti_, a most illustrious timeist; he sat musing and beating -with his foot, and took hold of, and quitted my hand in the same -portion of time, which he measured by the pulsations of his foot. - -“Excuse,” said he, “illustrious _Collioni_, the measured mode of my -gestures in saluting you; but I have long accustomed myself to measure -out the parts of time on a variety of sounding instruments, and have -at length introduced it into all the motions of my body. At my house, -sir, you will learn to cut your meat, and move your jaws at dinner in -common or triple time, according to the instruments that accompany our -meals.——By dealing the cards at quadrille, how easy it is to judge if -the party has an ear!——yonder gentleman who comes towards our window, -see how he swings his arms in exact time, true as the pendulum of a -clock. I can assure you, sir, he is great on the violoncello. My dear -wife says, the conjugal endearments are doubly improved, if a husband -is a good timeist. She approves of triple time; and on this account I -formerly had a servant who play’d in our bed-room every Sunday night, -’till we slept. And since I became one of the _castrati_, I have -acquired the habit of making water at intervals in the truest time like -a pig; and may say, that I believe for exactness of ear, that I am not -exceeded by any modern musician.” - -On this, this great man took up a Jew’s harp that lay by him, and with -a twing, twang, twong, moving his finger across his lips, and making -faces in the most exact time, he fetched out such prurient harmony, -as ravished my very soul, and threw sweet Miss _Ferni_ into the most -agreeable convulsions. - -During our dinner, two of the Doctor’s servants entertained us with -many excellent and solemn pieces of music. Indeed, I was so solicitous -to cut and eat my meat in true time, as I thought my character depended -on this circumstance, that I unfortunately cut my lips, so that the -blood much terrified me; and sweet Miss _Ferni_ was so earnestly -attending to the fiddlers, that on their suddenly changing the time -from _adagio_ to _sestina_, she swallowed the ivory spoon out of a -mustard pot; which, as it stuck across her throat, I am sure must have -given that excellent young lady exquisite pain, yet did she cough, and -even vomit repeatedly in most accurate time, and screamed from fear -most harmoniously through the whole gamut, from _a_ to _g_ inclusively, -long after the spoon was restored to its place. - - - - - SHEFFIELD. - - -Dr. _Dilettanti_ was so kind as to make me a present of a place in the -stage coach to _Sheffield_ in my road to _York_, that I might inquire -into the present state of the music of that city and cathedral. Amongst -the other passengers, was a gentleman of a grave aspect; who, from -his not attending to me at the inn, when I play’d a most inchanting -solo on my hautboy, appear’d at first to have no ears, but on further -conversation I found him a most agreeable companion. He cry’d up the -ingenuity of the _Sheffield_ manufacturers, and told me of a new -musical instrument, more complicate, he thought, and louder than an -organ. The next day he was so good as to accompany me to hear this new -organic instrument. The first thing I could observe was a number of -iron pipes, and a water wheel to work the large bellows, like that -organ of which there is a print in _Kempleri Musurgia_. When the wheel -was in motion, I observed many of the notes higher than in any organ -I had ever heard; and was told, that these ingenious people had found -the only way to produce these was, by boring gun-barrels: to these a -symphony was adduced by files which cut the teeth of large saws, and -the mellow tones of two great hammers, which at intervals struck on -large pieces of red-hot iron, made a more tremendous and affecting -concert, than all the mingled whittles of _Cecilia_’s organ. - -Having paid a shilling to the performers of this stupendous piece -of harmony, at which my grave companion seem’d much delighted, -and listen’d to my remarks upon it with the greatest avidity and -approbation; “Signior _Collioni_,” says he, “your observations inchant -me; the most antient music, as you well explain, was made with hammers -beating upon anvils, as invented by _Tubal Cain_, and practised in -the shop of his successor, _Vulcan_, tho’ _Saturn_ is thought to have -been the first of the _castrati_.—But this invention was not compleat, -Signior _Collioni_, it was not compleat, till this excellent treble -made by boring guns, and cutting saws was added.—It is now become the -true antient, celebrated, long-lost, and long-deplored chromatic, which -that _Heathen_, _Plato_, who had doubtless ass’s ears, expelled from -his artificial commonwealth.” - -“Doubtless you are right in your conjectures,” reply’d I, “Mr. -_Hummings_, (for that was my kind companion’s name) it was music like -this, which could disenchant the moon, and make trees and stones dance -_allemands_. Would you believe it, Mr. _Hummings_, I once cured a girl -bit with a tarantula myself with this simple bassoon? - -“_Trut, turrut, phub, phub, bush!_—This was the air, Mr. _Hummings_, -you shall hear it——_trut, turrut, phub, phub, bush_:—the girl rising -from her melancholy attitude, danced till the sweat ran down to the -hem of her scarlet petticoat; and after I had presented her with a bit -of money, became so lively as to strip herself like King _David_, and -danced like a _Heinel_. I can assure you, Mr. _Hummings_, I drove away -the evil spirit, and cured her of her tarantulism that night. - -“Not unlike this, is a fact recorded by the divine _Homer_. _Ulysses_ -had a large rent made in his thigh by a wild boar,—a terrible animal, -Mr. _Hummings_:—well, and what happen’d?—why, he only sent for the -town-waits, and after the first bar or two were play’d, the blood -stopp’d; and as the fiddles proceeded, the wound contracted, and by the -time they had finished _Alley Croaker_, _Moggy Lauder_, and _A lovely -Lass to a Fryar came_, (which are all antient _Greek_ tunes, sir,) the -wound was quite healed, and the cicatrix as smooth as the back of my -hand.” - -During this conversation, an unfortunate accident had happened near us. -One of the performers on the hammer and iron by a fall had broken his -leg. A surgeon was sent for with all dispatch, but Mr. _Hummings_ said -I had as well try the effect of the bassoon upon him; and pointing to -me, told the people that they need seek no farther, for I was superior -to any surgeon. Upon this, untying my green bag, the man cry’d out, -he begg’d no instruments might be used. “No, (says I,) none but a -musical instrument.” So I began with a gentle blast, and played and -sung alternately,—“_You’ll ne’er go the sooner to the Stygian Ferry. -Let not your noble spirits be cast down, but drink, drink, drink, and -be merry._”—“Give me some ale, (cries the wounded man) I like this, -Doctor.” Afterward I blew till I nearly had burst my cheeks, and -then sung, _If ’tis joy to wound a lover_; but the bone would not -knit:—indeed I could not make it knit at all—and I don’t believe, as -Mr. _Hummings_ said, that if Dr. _Mus_ himself, and all the musicians -of Britain, fiddlers, violoncellos, double violoncellos, trumpets, and -trumpet-marinos, together with every _Maestro di Capella_ in _Italy_ -had been present, they could have made this bone knit—which, I suppose, -was owing to the scorbutic habit of body of the patient; indeed, Mr. -_Hummings_ attributed it entirely to this cause; for the blood stopped -before I had finished the first song. - - - - - YORK. - - -Nothing worth remark occur’d in my journey from hence to _York_; but -at my approach to this celebrated city, my heart leapt for joy as -soon as I beheld the towers of the cathedral; here, says I, I shall -be much caressed and followed, I dare believe, as there are so many -of the _Dilettanti_ who reside within the precincts of this antient -seat of music and superstition. This letter, says I, is of inestimable -value, taking it from my pocket, and reading the direction, “For that -incomparable Musician and Antiquarian, Dr. _Hiccup_;” doubtless he will -pay great attention to his friends at _Lincoln_, who have honoured me -with it. The footman shewed me into an elegant parlour, where there was -a clock with chimes, so contrived that St. _Peter_, St. _Paul_, and -the _Virgin Mary_ were seen striking alternately on the bells, and -by a sweet trio announced every hour of the day. Dr. _Hiccup_ was, it -seems, at his devotions, which he always performed in imitation of that -great and devout musician, King _David_. He was a tall, boney figure, -with a swarthy complexion, and blear eyes. As I sat down he took no -notice of me, but continued dancing with a harp in his hand, without -his breeches, and with his night-gown and shirt tucked up above his -waist; and as he turned his brown posteriors this way and that, in the -gyrations of the dance, all the women and children that were looking in -through the window of his parlour, giggled, and made faces, and shewed -variety of indecent gesticulations and noises. None of these, however, -interrupted the devotions of this great man. - -Never were such charming tunes elicited from mortal harp, _Cambrian_ or -_Eolic!_ the dance was Devotion itself in human form! After a little -refreshment, this illustrious Musician condescended to entertain me -with several interesting particulars of the manner of his life, which I -begg’d leave to copy in my pocket book in his presence. - -He rose every morning, when his chime-clock struck eleven, (for, like -the famous _Chevalier Gluck_, he is too great a genius to rise early) -and generally gaped all the time his lady was putting on his breeches. -For breakfast he always eat rolls and butter, whether in summer or -winter; and after his breakfast paid a visit to _Cloacina_, but assured -me he never used old music books on this occasion on any account. -He retired to rest about ten, and seldom fail’d once in a month to -compliment his lady for undressing him. - -He communicated many other particulars to me of less moment, and was so -obliging at length to beg I would treat him with an air or two on the -bassoon. - -I thought this a good opportunity to give him a specimen of my poetic -talents, as well as of my musical ones, and performed the following -song, which I composed at _Gotham_ several years ago. - - “Some came in a waggon, and some in a cart; - And many there were that did nothing but f—t: - Oh rare _Nottingham_ town, _Nottingham_ town! - _Nottingham_ town; Oh rare _Nottingham_ town!” - -The sweetness of the notes on my bassoon, an instrument whose tone is -so like the sound it was to represent, ravished his ears, which he hung -quite down on each shoulder, during the whole time of my performance. - -I slept this night at Dr. _Hiccup_’s house, and borrowed a shirt and -pair of stockings of him. At breakfast I took an opportunity to tell -him of the narrowness of my circumstances; but he was suddenly taken -with a rapturous fit of devotion, and pulling up his night-gown to -his waist, began to sing, and dance, and caper, and kick, to such a -degree, that no one in the room was safe: I ran towards the door to -save my shins, and the Doctor rising with both feet in the air like a -Harlequin, gave me such a horse-kick on my rump, singing at the same -time the _March in Saul_, that I descended into the street down five -steps, head foremost, and cracked my bassoon in twenty places. - -Six hours I attended at the door, but was told by a servant out of a -window, that the Doctor was still performing his dance of devotion; and -for aught I know, that great man may dance till doom’s-day, as I never -after could get any other answer at his door. - -On more mature reflexion, I thought this kind of treatment very hard -from a brother musician, and one to whom I was so well recommended; but -I consoled myself with considering, that though my bassoon was broken -in sundry places, yet I had retained the Doctor’s shirt and stockings; -and that it was very likely my great prototype, Dr. Mus himself, had -frequently met with the same treatment, tho’ his modesty had inclined -him to conceal it. - - - - - DURHAM. - - -From this place to _Durham_ I was necessitated to travel on foot; and -by playing the _Black Joke_, _Murdoch O’Blaney_, and other sentimental -tunes to the girls of the villages I pass’d through, procured food -and lodging, which my brother of the String had refused me. At -_Darlington_, I waited on the _Maestro di Capella_, or clerk of the -parish, who I may assert had the finest nasality, or nose-intonation, -that ever was given to _David_’s _psalms_; and the melody of his -_Amen_, was quite astonishing. - -So well was my bassoon received at this church, that the ’Squire’s -lady invited me to Dinner. “Good Signior _Collioni_,” says she, “you -have charmed, you have enraptured me; pray, has the wind which escapes -out at the end of your instrument any smell?”——“smell!” says I, “no, -madam, not unless I eat onions.” At this all the ladies laughed most -extravagantly. - -However, the ’Squire after dinner gave me a recommendatory letter to -the great Mr. _Eccho_ of _Durham_, principal performer belonging to -that opulent cathedral; and withal told me, that Mr. _Eccho_ had so -long apply’d himself to musical notes, that he had utterly forgot all -articulate language. That he preached, conversed, prayed, scolded, -swore, talk’d bawdy, and blasphemy, all on the fiddle, without uttering -a word, or even making a sign with his fingers. - -At my introduction to this great man, I began a long complimental -speech, which I had been some time studying.——“Most respectable -sir, whose soul is a soul of harmony, and whose body is like a -base-viol.”——Here he snatch’d up his fiddle with an air of great -complacency, and drawing, the bow gently over the strings said, as -plain as if he had spoke it. “Oh, sir, your most obedient; you -compliment me indeed, sir, too much.” I then told him how long a -journey I had performed on foot, and that the dusty roads had made me -dry. He snatched up his violin, and before he had play’d above a bar -or two, in came a footman with a jug of delicate ale. Next I mentioned -modestly my having eat nothing all day.——“_Trut, trut, bish, bash, -bush_,” cries the fiddle—“Indeed, sir,” replies I, “I, don’t fast for -the sake of devotion”——“_ir, er, ar, querr, quorr, quurr_”—quoth the -fiddle, and in came a surloin of cold beef, and mustard and bread, in -the twinkling of a fiddle-stick. - -This gentleman, quoth I, is greater than _Orpheus_ or _Eurydice_, or -the _Serpent_;—no, no, _Orpheus_ could do no such things as these—ale -and beef were a note or two above his fiddle! - -Soon after came in Mr. _Eccho_’s wife, with a “what the deuce are you -about, bringing beggars into my house?”—Mr. _Eccho_ catched up the -fiddle, and such a jar did I never hear “_arg, erg, urg, gir, gor, -gur_”—I warrant you madam became as dumb as if she were inchanted. - -Indeed, hearing this lady give me the opprobrious name of beggar, -I took care to shew the diamond ring on my little finger, which I -always wear when I perform in public, which might give her a better -opinion of me, tho’ indeed it is only a Bristol stone, and that I pay -a silver-smith two pence a week for the use of; and I would have hired -a laced waistcoat, but was asked a shilling a week, tho’ I am sure the -lace had been twice turn’d; yet, if I had hired it, I dare say Dr. -_Hiccup_ would scarcely have kicked me out of his house. - - - - - CARLISLE. - - -At _Carlisle_ I waited on Lord _Diddle-doodle_ with proper musical -credentials: he was sat against a glass practising some solfeggis on -the violin, and attending to the gracefulness of his own attitude. -“Most illustrious Peer,” says I, (making a bow to the very ground) -“your noble ancestors gain’d victory in the hardy fields of war, but -you by music civilize and harmonize mankind; with what rapture must -they lean from their starry mansions to see and hear your immortal -powers of harmony and grace!” I stopp’d, and on looking up, found -that his lordship had not attended to a word I had spoken, nor seemed -conscious of my being in the room;—but as great geniuses are often -absent, I repeated my compliment in a louder voice, and approaching, -was amazed to find that his lordship was quite deaf, deaf as a post; -and yet he executed the most difficult passages in music with the -greatest grace and manner, better, I dare say, than if he had heard his -own performance. - -When his lordship had perceived me, he approached me with the utmost -politeness, and made signs for me to sit down, and accompany him upon -the bassoon, which I did ’till dinner-time. After dinner, I intreated -my lady _Diddle-doodle_ to prevail upon the noble lord to sing, which -he did; but I was rather disappointed at finding that his voice was -only pack-thread[3]. However, he sung in tune; had a shake, and was far -from vulgar. My lady afterwards made ample amends by her own singing. -Her voice was a skane of silk, without the least mixture of worsted. -She understood all the lights and shades of melody. Her back-ground; -her mezzotints; and her clare-obscure were charming, and there was such -a roundness and dignity in all the tones, that every thing she did -became interesting. - -[3] “His voice is now but a thread.” - TOUR TO ITALY. - - -It was in this part of _England_, I paid a visit to Mr. _Quaver_, with -recommendatory letters from lord _Diddle-doodle_; I found him to be a -gentleman of considerable and original musical genius; his taste was -pure, chaste, refined; and his execution, particularly upon the Jew’s -harp, was exquisite; he executed with great taste and powers, _Nancy -Dawson_, _Lillabullero_, and _Old Sir Simon the king_. After dinner -he explained to me his system for the improvement of sound, which -was at once sublime and original. “The Author of Nature,” said he, -“has with an equal and judicious hand distributed his gifts among his -creatures: to one he has given strength; to another, dexterity; to a -third, perseverance; in the same manner has he divided the agreeable -qualifications; and the courtier and the fine gentleman need not -blush to receive instruction from the spaniel and the monkey—Now as -the philosopher models his life upon an imitation of the virtues of -animals, the true connoisseur will do the same”—there he stopp’d, as -if afraid to explain himself; but I told him, that there was something -so original and masterly in his conceptions that I should never be -easy, until he communicated them. Upon which, after a short pause, he -seized me by the hand, and grasping it with affection, “since,” said -he, “I find in you the true spirit of your science, I will no longer -maintain any reserve; know then, that after a profound meditation upon -the sublimest mysteries of our profession, I have traced them up to -the creation”—“how!” said I, with amaze, “I thought that the greatest -Antiquarians had never brought them with any certainty higher than -the Deluge.” “I knew,” said he, “I should surprize you; but it is -certain that _Adam_, amongst his other qualifications, possessed that -of expressing every sound that ever has or can be uttered; hence he -could not only sing base and treble, counter-tenor, and soprano to -admiration; but also squeak like a pig, croak like a frog, bellow like -a bull, whinny like a colt, and bray like an ass.” - -“It is true, that the greater part of these faculties was taken from -him at the Fall, and have been very sparingly bestowed upon his -descendants; from hence arises that degeneracy into which music has -fallen in the modern ages of the world: that sublime science, instead -of expressing the natural passions, by a judicious imitation of the -tones of beasts; instead of roaring out the lion’s rage; bellowing -the jealousy of the bull, or chanting the amorous passions of the -nightingale, is become a meer unmeaning jargon, without force or -energy, and its professors and admirers are dwindled into the most -contemptible part of the creation; quavering eunuchs, unfeeling -prostitutes, insignificant blockheads, wretches without head, or heart, -or sentiment, or enthusiasm.”—I was too sensible that there was but too -much truth in this gentleman’s observations, though I could not assent -to every thing he said against our modern _virtuosi_, among whom envy -itself must acknowledge there are some accomplished characters; and the -eighteenth century will always glory in having produced an ELECTOR OF -MUNICH, a TENDUCCI, and a MUS. - -“But,” said my friend, “perceiving this to be the lamentable state of -things, I have with true and indefatigable industry applied myself to -the restoration of the first _Adamitical_ harmony; I have selected -the most admirable notes from every animal, and have already acquired -a tolerable proficiency in bellowing, braying and grunting: I indeed -found that the _squall_ of the peacock was two notes too high for my -voice; but in return, if I may say so without vanity, I can inspire -every hen and gosling in the yard with tender sentiments. I have, -besides this, collected every great natural genius that I have found -among the brute creation; I have a young he-ass who has an admirable -bass; a young hog, (a _castrato_) who sings counter-tenor; and a dear -little cat, whom, in honour of that illustrious name, so celebrated in -the Doctor’s tour, I call MINGOTTI, who has an excellent treble, and a -surprising _portamento_. But why waste I time in description? you shall -see my scholars, and my _schola_.” - -Saying this, he led me to a large building, which resembled a barn, -where we were received by the _Maestro di Capella_, who was an old and -deaf huntsman. The first object I beheld was a beautiful she-ass in a -_Mecklinburgh_ night-cap, who brayed a solo. Her voice was one of the -clearest, sweetest, truest, most powerful and extensive I ever heard. -In compass, it is from _B♭_ on the fifth space in the bass, to _D_ in -_alt_, full steady and equal; her shake was good, and her _portamento_ -admirably free from the nose, mouth, or throat. We were then -entertained by a duet between the _Mingotti_, and a large raven, in the -_chromatic_, which grew more spirited by my friend’s pulling a bone out -of his pocket, which he threw to the performers, and thereby produced -a _conflicta_. I then told my friend that I would willingly hear the -_castrato_, but he told me he was afraid the _Caffarelli_ could not -oblige me in that particular, as he had unfortunately taken cold by -rolling too long upon an unaired dunghill, and was then actually in a -course of sugar-candy. However, he threw a turnip to encourage him to -exert himself, and I could judge from what I then heard, that he is -likely to become a most masterly performer. - -My friend then tied strings to the ears of six young greyhound puppies, -which he twitch’d with so much art and judgment by means of a pully, -that I think the effect was equal to any _viol di gamba_ I ever heard, -not excepting that of the Elector of _Munich_. - -My friend then suspended two cats by the tails, which he contrived -should alternately bob upon the noses of two sucking pigs, who were -tied by the hind-legs to the floor: though I observed these performers -were somewhat embarassed in their manner, yet I could not but -acknowledge the effect was quite original and truly theatric. - -Mr. _Quaver_ then told me that he had formerly introduced some of these -performers to sing at a concert, but without success: and he made great -complaints of the unpoliteness of the audience, which he said could sit -with patience three hours to listen to the unmeaning trills of heroes -in hoop-petticoats, and _Italian_ vagabonds in a strange language, -while they would not bestow one half hour upon the voice of nature and -their brethren. Tho’ I was quite ignorant of the facts he alluded too, -yet, like Dr. MUS, I was so partial to talents, wherever I found them, -that I could not help condoling with my kind host upon the occasion; -and after having bemoaned the degeneracy of the times, and wished him -success in his truly original undertaking, which I promised him I would -take due notice of in my intended work, I set forward on my journey to -_Bristol_. - -Had I been rich, I should have agreed with a coachman, who was just -then setting out, and offered to carry me and my bassoon, in the -basket, for sixteen shillings. But as riches are not always the -companions of genius, I rather chose to take my place in a coal-vessel, -which was to arrive at that city in three days. Here, as the weather -was extremely fine when I sat out, I travelled very agreeably, for -the first day, and dined upon bread and cheese, and cold bacon, -without making any observations worth communicating to the public, -except that I saw a man standing upon the bank, and angling for dace, -notwithstanding the earliness of the season. - -The second day, as the wind suddenly changed from West to North-East, -was foggy, rainy, and so exceedingly cold, that I was obliged, for -want of Dr. MUS’s lousy blanket, to slip my legs and thighs into a -coal-sack; we stopped about two o’clock at _Averley_, a little village -on the banks of the _Severn_ to dine; and here I cannot but inform -the world, that Mr. _Bangor_, at the sign of the _Goat in Boots_, is -an extremely civil and polite landlord, and has no contemptible taste -in music. When I informed him of my design in making this expedition, -he very obligingly led me into his hall, which was stuck round with -various antique pieces of music, such as _Chevy Chace_, _The Children -in the Wood_, _Three Children sliding on the Ice_, _The history of -St. George_, &c. which he kindly permitted me to enrich my collection -with. I begged hard that he would permit me to prick out the notes -of an incomparable whistle as he performed it, which at length with -great difficulty he complied with, upon condition however that I should -not print it. But I was more than all surprized and charmed with his -generosity, in slipping a piece of fried cow’s heel into my pocket, and -insisting upon treating me with a dram, before I went into the cold. - -As I walked down to the river side, I remarked a boy, who was humming -the tune of _Yanky Doodle_; and as I knew this to be an extremely -popular air in some parts of _America_, I conjectured that this part of -_England_ was originally peopled from that continent. - - - - - BRISTOL. - - -Late the next evening, we arrived at _Bristol_, a large and populous -city, more famous for its commerce, manufactures and such trifles, than -for its taste in music. They have but lately had a regular theatre -established there to civilize and polish the uncouth manners of the -dissenters, who would even have succeeded in the savage opposition -they made to this salutary measure, if the bishops had not espoused -the cause of the fine arts; I have little doubt, therefore, that they -will soon find that “music is so combined with things sacred and -important, as well as with our pleasures, that it seems necessary to -our existence:” they will then quickly become friends to organs, and -next to operas. As I approached the city, I was gratified with seeing -the battalions of the principal militia, who made a most formidable -appearance, and marched in exact time to the marrow-bones and cleavers, -which had an admirable effect and were extremely animating. I put up at -the _Dog’s Head in the Porridge-Pot_, and after powdering my wig with -some flour, clipping my beard with a pair of scissars, and turning my -shirt, I went to wait on Signor _Manselli_, to whom I had letters of -recommendation. When I had knocked at the door, and enquired whether -the Signor was within, I was informed that he was, but that I could -not see him, as he was then busied in performing his vocalities. This -answer, you may be sure, redoubled my curiosity, and I replied, “if a -poor, yet I trust, not unknown musician, may be judged worthy of being -an unobserved spectator of the Signor’s meditations, I promise not to -interrupt his reveries, and perhaps the Signor himself will not be -displeased at your introducing to him a _Collioni_!” - -When he learned that I was a musician, he bowed respectfully, and -desiring me to pull off my shoes, as he did himself, he led me to the -Signor’s apartment. When we came to the door, the servant desired me to -pull off my coat, waistcoat, and wig, and creep through a hole, which -he shewed me at the bottom of the door, as he assured me the Signor -did not suffer even crowned heads to approach him in these moments -of enthusiasm, without taking those precautions; “and sir,” said he, -“you need not think this an humiliating situation, as I have seen many -persons of the first fashion, among whom were several pregnant ladies, -submit to the same ceremony.” - -I did not hesitate a moment to comply with the customary _etiquette_, -but stripping myself to the shirt, I crept into the room with the same -awful silence with which the antient priests approached the Tripod of -their God. Having posted myself behind a large screen, I beheld the -Signor extended on his belly, while two young and beautiful ladies were -gently stroaking his back with the palms of their hands. He lay for -some minutes pensive and silent, as if waiting for the inspirations of -the divinity. At length, on a sudden, “his eyes were fixt, his underlip -fell, and drops of effervescence distilled from his whole countenance.” -Immediately explosions of the most musical intonation I had ever heard, -issued from behind, and enraptured the whole company. After this, -he successively coughed, sneezed, hiccuped, eructated, squeaked and -whistled in the most harmonious manner that can be conceived. “Thank -heaven,” cried the Signor, “my powers of harmony are yet undiminished: -I shall still live to bless the world, and polish this brutal nation.” -Saying this, he took up his fiddle, and played a most divine solo. I -heard him for some time in silent ecstacy, ’till at length incapable -of suppressing my emotions any longer, I precipitated myself into -his arms, crying or rather blubbering out in imitation of the great -_Cassarelli_, _Bravo! bravissimo! Manselli, è Collioni che ti lo dice_. -The Signor seemed somewhat surprized at my abrupt introduction, but at -length, recollecting himself, he received me with ineffable politeness. -The ladies at my appearance, had shrieked, and left the room, which in -the first hurry of our embraces we had not perceived. But presently the -Signor, glancing his eye downwards, recollected himself, and said with -some warmth and emphasis, “O, fye, Signor _Collioni_, I took it for -granted you were one of US.” I blushed at the imputation, and said, “I -hoped this defect would not lessen me in his esteem, as my country was -not yet sufficiently civilized to have adopted the custom; and though -some of our prime nobility had the spirit and taste to lead the way, -yet in the gross conceptions of the _English_, there was a certain -degree of ridicule annexed to it, which deterred several men otherwise -of the most exquisite politeness from submitting to it.” The Signor -was kind enough to admit my excuses, but lamented this as the greatest -obstacle to the national advancement in the science of music. However, -he averred that several _English_ young noblemen of fortune had to his -knowledge undergone the operation in _Italy_, “and though,” added he, -“an ordinary proficient may be exempted from the practice, yet it is -indispensibly necessary for one who would fathom all the mysteries of -the art, and emulate the illustrious names of _Senesino_, _Farinelli_, -_Tenducci_, &c.” - -I confess I was much staggered at what he said, more especially as I -began to entertain some doubts myself whether the characters of a man -and a musician were at all compatible. - -I hinted to him, that I had formerly heard, that a certain great -Personage, _tàm Marti quàm Mercurio_, equally illustrious for his -martial and his musical talents, had adopted the practice; but as the -Doctor had not recorded it in his tour to _Potzdam_, I imagined the -report was without foundation. - -“Ah!” said he, “depend upon it, tho’ the Doctor has indeed omitted -this circumstance in the admirable description he gives of that hero, -and Dilettante practising his _solfeggi_ at _Potzdam_, yet he would -never have been either the monarch, or the flutist he is without it. Do -you think, added he, that illustrious philosopher could amuse himself -so calmly in his closet with fugus and adagios, while ten thousand -_Polish_ widows, and orphans, were imprecating curses upon the head of -their unfeeling destroyer, unless he had totally disengaged himself -from every incumbrance of his sex and species?” - -Here the entrance of the young ladies interrupted any further -conversation on the subject. The eldest, his niece, who was called -_Gluckinella Inglesina_, desired me to sing, which I did in the softest -and most unmanly tone I could exert, that I might not again offend. I -asked her what her real opinion of my voice was? she answered me with -the most perfect affability, that I acquitted myself tolerably well -_considering_; tho’ “she thought me too ambitious of displaying my -talent of working parts and subjects, and added that my _cantilena_ was -often rude.” - -I took an opportunity when I was alone with this young lady, to -enquire if the _castrati_ were much in vogue at _Bristol_, and if that -operation could be so safely attempted on elderly gentlemen; this -young lady smiled at my simplicity, and assured me that the operation -was safe and easy, and not so painful as to acquire any degree of -resolution, and that the _castrati_ were the favourites of the ladies, -both of the married and unmarried. She advised me by all means to -undergo the operation as the Doctor had done in _Italy_, tho’ his -excess of modesty prevented him from boasting of it in his excellent -treatise. She added, that she could not with safety love me, unless I -would submit to this for her sake. - -This declaration from a young lady for whom I now perceived I had -imbibed the most ardent affection, gave me great uneasiness; that -affection however was purely platonic and spiritual, for personal -charms she had no more to boast of, that ever I discovered, than -_Mingotti_ herself. Besides the disadvantage of a contortion in the -ogle, vulgarly called a squint of the eye, and a very long red nose, -she had a mouth, which tho’ it opened from ear to ear, discovered to -the eye nothing but the sad remains of a set of ebony teeth, which -more resembled the ruins of an old cathedral, than the polished ivory -which adorns the comic mouth of the celebrated Mrs. _Ab-ngt-n_. There -was yet another circumstance to disgust the sensualist, and deter him -from approaching this Syren with an improper familiarity; and that was -the great offensiveness of her breath, which was so violent, that any -person not “determined” like me “to hear, see,” and smell “nothing -but music,” might have thought it hardly atoned for by the sweetness -of her voice. Yet none of these circumstances damped the ardor of -my spiritual attachment, founded, as it was, upon a solid basis, -the love of song;—it was embodied harmony, the tuneful soul which I -adored. The reader who is unacquainted with the difference between a -gross sensual passion, and a sublime, harmonic sympathy, may perhaps -be surprized when I tell him, that while I was thus devoted to the -divine _Gluckinella_, I was at the same time personally captivated -by the corporeal attractions of a little black-ey’d Gypsy, the wife -of a barber in the town, who often shaved me for a tune; yet did not -these grosser feelings the least impair or abate my musical platonic -love. I might perhaps be excused, were I to conceal the progress and -issue of these different amours; but they are so intimately blended -with the scientific part of my work, and were attended with such -important consequences to myself in my professional capacity, that I -doubt not the narration will prove of great utility to my brethren. -For it was no common temptation that deluded me; tho’ Mrs. _Sharpset_ -was abundantly handsome, I could have resisted “the blandishments of -beauty,” if a desire of making dangerous experiments upon the power -and effects of music upon female passion had not seized my brain. -For I had taken notice, that the imagination of this young woman was -exceedingly lively and far out-stripped her husband’s, who was a plain -dull man with little fire or enthusiasm in his composition. I plainly -perceived this in all her gestures and movements, but when I sung some -tender sentimental air, her involuntary sighs, blushes, and languid -attitude, betrayed too plainly the irritability of her nervs, and that -fine susceptibility of soft emotions with which nature has endowed -the sex. No wonder that in a rude, uncultivated state of nature as I -then was, I caught the subtle fire from her contagious eyes. Ah! how -often did I sing the _sweet passion of Love_ without once thinking of -my dear _Gluckinella_; how often did she encore my _O how pleasing ’tis -to please_, without the slightest recollection of her absent barber! -Madly determined to pursue the fatal experiment, and observe the full -effects of my art; I next sung “_Haste, let us rove, to the Island -of Love”_, at which Mrs. _Sharpset_ was greatly agitated and danced -about the room. Then I played a rapturous voluntary “produced in the -happy moments of effervescence when my reason was less powerful than -my feeling;” and at length I proceeded to such excess of temerity, -as to tune up _Geho Dobbin_, _Murdoch O’Blaney_, and several other -inflammatory compositions; and finding my mistress “attentive, and in -a disposition to be pleased, I became animated to that true pitch of -enthusiasm, which from the ardor of the fire within, is communicated -to others and sets all around in a blaze, so that the contention -between the performer and the hearer was only who should please or -who should applaud the most, till at length, not contented with -shewing her approbation by coughing, hemming, and blowing the nose” -she “expressed rapture in a manner peculiar to herself, and seemed to -agonize with pleasure too great for the aching sense!” for at length, -overpowered by my quirking and quavering, and transported beyond all -the bounds of prudence, Mrs. _Sharpset_ on a sudden leaped into my -arms, hung round my neck, and devoured me with eager kisses, such as I -never tasted before or since. What man, what unemasculated god could -have withstood such potent snares? Ah! my serene _Gluckinella_ had’st -thou been there, these tumults had all subsided, the devil had not -got intire possession of my mind, voice and instrument, nor had I -needed the painful operation of the barber’s avenging steel to bring -my wandering spirits back to reason:—for soon, and in the midst of our -illicit joys, the door of the chamber was forced open, and in rushed -Mr. _Sharpset_.—Discordant oaths and curses, and the look and voice of -a Fury making an incantation to awake the dead, bespoke the injured -husband, and scared us from the bed. He retired a moment to fetch the -instrument of his revenge. Mrs. _Sharpset_ escaped, but in an instant -I saw him return whetting his keenest razor; and concluding, that he -meant to cut my throat upon the spot, I fell down at his feet and in an -agony of fear and penitence, roared out such a MISERERE, as was never -heard at the Pope’s chapel in _Passion-week_. Alas! how did I wish for -the genius of a _Gluck_, “to paint _my_ difficult situation occasioned -by complicated misery, and the tempestuous fury of unbridled passions!” -But _Allegri_ himself, had he chanted his own MISERERE, could not have -moved the shaver’s unrelenting soul, or soothed his injured honour up -in arms, and demanding its victim! I tried a softer strain, and sang -in melting mood, “_Let not rage thy Bosom firing, pity’s softer claim -remove_,” &c. but it was all one: still strapped he his inexorable -razor, humming out a song of _Bravura_, the subject of which was the -castration of the devil by a baker; (which, by the bye, is a very -curious story, whose authenticity I must enquire into farther at my -leisure.) I immediately augured my approaching destiny from the burden -of this song; and the _Cornuto_ presently gave me to understand that -my conjecture was well founded. Having been till now in a cold-sweat, -and corporal fear of my life, I congratulated myself on this exchange -of punishment, as a sort of reprieve, and considering that I had some -time since resolved, like another _Grassetto_, to undergo the operation -whenever I found myself bold enough for such a voluntary sacrifice; I -plucked up courage, and with great composure told the barber, that a -guilty conscience was a greater torment to me than any he could devise; -but that to expiate the crime I had committed, and appease the anger -of heaven, and the honest man whom I had so deeply offended, I would -patiently submit to suffer the righteous sentence which his vengeance -meditated on the peccant part. The enraged tonsor took me at my word. - - * * * * * - -The first thing that came into my thoughts after I awoke from the -fainting fit, into which the paroxism of pain had thrown me, was to -try my voice in its improved state. I accordingly sung _A Dawn of Hope -my Soul revives_, and found my powers wonderfully improved, and my -execution delicate, interesting, and full of effects. “Ho, ho,” cries -the barber, “I am glad to find you are so merry,” and resumed his old -tune of the baker and the devil. I told him I thought it unkind in -him to insult me, and intreated him to convey me home, which he very -readily consented to do, and soon afterwards began to apologize for -the effects of his rage, hoping I would consider the nature of the -provocation, and not attempt to take the law of him. I answered, that -upon condition he would freely pardon his wife, whose fault was venial, -as her virtue had fallen a sacrifice to the power of harmony, I would -decline any hostile proceedings against him on my own account, with -which condition he appeared satisfied, and we parted.—I was brought -home on a mule, on which I rode sideways; and as soon as I alighted at -Signor _Manselli_’s I sent for him into my chamber, and accosted him as -he approached with the following air, in singing which I exerted all my -newly-acquired powers. - - _Bear, O bear me on a sudden, - Some kind stroke of smiling chance! - From this land of beef and pudding, - To dear_ Italy _or_ France! - - _I am sick to the soul, - Politics and sea coal, - So give one the vapours, - Their cursed news-papers, - Their mobbing, - Stock-jobbing - Are horrors to me; - I wish the whole island were sunk in the sea._ - -During my performance, the Signor appeared perfectly astonished, and -at length seizing my hand with rapture, “welcome,” he cried, “O son -of harmony! it cannot be longer disguised, you are a brother—you are -one of us”—then expatiating on the dignity and importance of the order -of _castrati_, he desired me, if not too much exhausted, to sing -again his favourite air, which when I had done he cried out with -transport;—“_nec vox hominem sonat!_ I can hardly believe it is the -same pipe! such a volume of voice, such an open and perfect shake! -such light and shade! never was voice less _cloudy_! such clearness, -brilliancy, neatness, expression, embellishment, intonation, firmness, -modulation, smoothness and elegance! and then your _portamento_ is as -round and tight as a portmanteau, and you take _appogiatura_, as easily -as a body would take a pinch of snuff!”— - -I was greatly flattered by these encomiums, but begged he would forbear -and suffer me to retire to my chamber, for the sake of necessary -refreshment and rest. He immediately complied, and sent up to me Signor -_Sougelder_, an eminent surgeon in the neighbourhood, and an agreeable -performer on the _English_ horn; who having applied an excellent -dressing to my wound left me to sleep, and “thus ended this busy and -important day, in which so much was said, and done; that it seemed -to contain the events of a much longer period; and I could hardly -persuade myself, upon recollecting the several incidents, that they -had all happened in about the space of twelve hours.” By the kind and -skilful offices of Signor _Sougelder_, I was soon restored to my health -and spirits; and my adorable Signora _Gluckinelli_ in a few days paid -me a visit of congratulation, which she repeated every day during my -recovery. It was in some of these delightful interviews I discovered -how deep a theorist she was, and how learned in the science of sound. -Among other discoveries and observations which she communicated to me, -and which I treasure up, and mean to preserve for the benefit of future -ages, she assured me that it was “practicable with time and patience to -give a shake where nature has denied it; that she thought, the shake -ruined ninety-nine times out of a hundred by too much impatience and -precipitation, both in the master and scholar, and that many who can -execute passages which require the same motion of the _larynx_ as the -shake, have notwithstanding never acquired one”—“There is no accounting -for this,” added that illustrious young lady, with a sigh, “but from -the neglect of the master to study nature, and avail himself of these -passages, which by continuity would become real shakes.” - -During my confinement to my chamber, I have had leisure to extract the -foregoing observations, anecdotes, and adventures from my journal, and -which I present to the world as the first hints of my undertaking. If -they tend in any shape to promote the study and practice of music in -this country, and by that means lessen our national reproach of being -_The Savages of Europe_, immersed in politics, philosophy, metaphysics, -mathematics, and other sour and abstruse speculations, I shall have -gained my end, and shall congratulate myself on having in some humble -degree assisted the generous efforts of the great musical Doctor, and -the governors of the _Foundling Hospital_, to polish and _Italianize_ -the genius, taste, and manners of the _English_ nation. - -I shall trespass on the reader’s patience but one moment longer, to -inform him that as soon as I had perfectly recovered my health, Signor -_Manselli_ instituted a grand _Fête Cbampêtre_ to celebrate what he was -pleased to call my victory over the flesh and the devil; and to crown -the whole, the idol of my soul, the fair _Gluckinella_, was that day -pleased to condescend publicly to avow her platonic harmonic passion -for me; and to promise me in the most endearing manner, that if ever -she entered into the holy slate of matrimony, I should be her CECISBEO. - - - THE END. - - - - - _Speedily will be published_, - - An ENQUIRY into the PRESENT STATE - - OF THE - - MUSIC OF THE SPHERES. - - To which will be prefixed, - - The OVERTURE to the last ECLIPSE of the MOON; - - And, a Dissertation on the Structure and Use - - OF THE - - CELESTIAL BOW, commonly called the RAIN-BOW. - - - By JOEL COLLIER, Organist. - - - _Avia Pieridum perago loca nullius antè Trita solo._ - LUCR. - - - ⁂ Price to Subscribers, Two Guineas; Non-Subscribers - Three Guineas and an Half. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUSICAL TRAVELS THROUGH ENGLAND *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Musical Travels Through England</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Joel Collier</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 21, 2021 [eBook #64895]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: deaurider, Les Galloway and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUSICAL TRAVELS THROUGH ENGLAND ***</div> - -<div class="transnote"> -<h3>Transcriber’s Notes</h3> - -<p>Obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected, but period spelling remains unchanged. -Quotation marks around dialogue was absent in some paragraphs and has been corrected.</p> - -<p>The cover was prepared by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<h1> -MUSICAL TRAVELS<br /> - -<span class="fs1">THROUGH</span><br /> - -<small>ENGLAND</small>.</h1> - -<hr class="full" /> - -<p class="center">BY</p> - -<p class="center"><big>JOEL COLLIER, <span class="smcap">Organist</span></big>.</p> - -<hr class="full" /> - -<p class="hang"><span class="fs2"> Nam, adhuc per domum, aut hortos cecinerat; quos ut -parùm celebres, et tantæ voci angustos, spernebat.Non tamen <span class="smcap">Romæ</span> incipere ausus.</span></p> - -<p class="right"><span class="fs1">T A C.</span></p> - -<hr class="full" /> -<p class="center">LONDON:</p> - -<p class="center"><small>Printed for G. <span class="u">KEARSLY</span>, in Fleet-street.<br /> -M. DCC. LXXIV.</small></p> - -<p class="center"><small>(Price One Shilling.)</small></p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_iii">iii</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_THE"><small>TO THE</small></h2> -</div> - - -<p class="hang">GOVERNORS of the HOSPITAL -for the Maintenance and Education of -exposed and deserted young Children.</p> - - -<p>GENTLEMEN,</p> - -<p><i>While I was extracting the following -sheets from my voluminous Journal, and connecting -them together as accurately as I was -able, in order to present the Public with a -Specimen of my laborious investigation of the -present state of</i> <span class="smcap">Music</span> <i>in this my native -country, I was somewhat at a loss to whom -I could with most propriety inscribe my work. -Whether to</i> <span class="smcap">Doctor Burney</span><i>, as the original -inventor of this species of composition, -and the first musical traveller of our nation, -to whom I stand so much indebted for the -plan, and conduct of my book, and of whom -I might truly say in his own words, “that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_iv">iv</span> -he has long been my</i> magnus Apollo<i>:”—or -whether I was in duty bound to pay homage -to the King of</i> Prussia<i>, as the greatest</i> Dilettante -<i>performer of the age; who, I suppose, -at this present writing, like another</i> -Nero<i>, is playing his new</i> Solfeggi <i>to the -dying groans of the obstinate</i> Dantziggers<i>;—or -whether I ought not to call forth from -his obscurity that venerable Judge, who -contented with less ambitious pleasures, cultivates -the fine arts by humbler and modester, -but not less curious experiments, and amuses -the leisure hours of a long vacation in</i> caponizing -blackbirds<a id="FNanchor_1" href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a><i>; or whether I should -not do well to express my gratitude, and that -of the nation, to the honourable Directors -of our Opera, for having at last condescended -to permit an</i> Englishwoman <i>to be called</i> -Signora<i>, and by virtue of that title to share -some of the princely incomes which have been -hitherto lavished on</i> Italians<i>, and which, I -dare say, those worthy Noblemen and Gentlemen -would as readily bestow upon</i> English<span class="allsmcap">MEN</span><i>, -if they would but consent to be properly</i> -qualified. <i>This dilemma, however,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_v">v</span> -was at an end, as soon as I learnt, that -Dr.</i> Burney<i>, and Signor</i> Giardini<i>, had, -under your authority, just founded a school -for music (in imitation, I suppose, of the -Italian</i> Conservatorios<i>) in the</i> <span class="smcap">Foundling -Hospital</span><i>, where about an hundred of -such poor children, as have hitherto been placed -out to trades and services, in which they had -no opportunity of making</i> a noise <i>in the world, -are, in future, to be trained to harmony from -their infancy, and constantly employed in -the study of music; ’till in process of time they -take their regular degrees as</i> Doctors<i>, and</i> -Doctoresses <i>of music, and come forth, sufficiently -accomplished (as they must be under such -masters,) to form the national taste, by the -true</i> Italian <i>standard. When I was informed -of this event, I hailed the happy omen, the -dawn of an</i> Augustan æra<i>; and resolved to -offer my tribute of congratulation and applause, -and to dedicate this work to a set of -gentlemen, who have so distinguished their zeal -for the interest and advancement of music. -Perhaps it will at first appear a bold -undertaking in the guardians of deserted -orphans, chiefly supported by parliamentary -grants of public money, to declare, that they<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vi">vi</span> -cannot be maintained by the public for a -more useful purpose, than to be taught to -sing and play</i> Italian <i>airs. For men of -narrow and contrasted minds, who have -neither</i> ear<i>, nor</i> voice<i>, nor</i> hand<i>, will still -imagine, that it might prove of more national -utility, to breed these adopted children -of the public, to Husbandry, Navigation, &c. -the objects of their original destination; than -to convert one of the noblest of our public charities -into a nursery for the supply of musical -performers at our Theatres, gardens, and -hops.—But this is a vulgar prejudice. The -improvement of the fine arts ought to be the -first object of public attention in an age of -luxury,</i> <span class="allsmcap">PEACE</span><i>, and plenty, like the present; -when we have rivalled the</i> Italians <i>in music, -it will be time enough to think of our navy, -and our agriculture. We have already (to -our shame be it spoken,) better sailors than -fiddlers, and more farmers than</i> contrapuntists<i>. -But as I take this circumstance to arise entirely -from the different degree of encouragement -those occupations have hitherto received; -I do not despair of seeing the reverse take -place, when gentlemen of your rank deign -to stand forward, and correct the errors of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vii">vii</span> -the public, by the influence and sanction of -your example. Should any obstacles arise -to impede the immediate execution of your -plan, from some obsolete but unrepealed -parliamentary restrictions, doubtless the same -legislators who so readily expended the -public money in the purchase of Sir</i> William -Hamilton<i>’s</i> collection <i>of antique vases, and</i> -Etruscan <i>rarities, will not only repeal any -former act which may stand in your way; -but rejoice in a fresh opportunity of displaying -their fine taste and love of the -arts, by laying an additional tax upon -such of the necessaries of life as are not -already overloaded, in order to raise a competent -sum for the purchase of the best</i> Cremonas<i>, -and other instruments which can be -procured on the continent, for the service -of your</i> Academia<i>. I have only to add, -gentlemen, that if upon a perusal of the -following sheets you shall find, as I am persuaded -you will, that my travels are also<a id="FNanchor_2" href="#Footnote_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> in -some measure, a matter of national concern; -I hope you will be kind enough to -second my intended application to parlia<span class="pagenum" id="Page_viii">viii</span>ment, -that the charges of my future expeditions -may be defrayed at the public -expence. This, gentlemen, may be done by -a very short clause; and as it will enable -me to pursue my enquiries with spirit, credit, -and success, will lay a lasting obligation -upon,</i></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Gentlemen,</i></p> -<p class="center"> -<i>Your very obedient,</i></p> -<p class="right"> -<i>and devoted humble Servant,</i></p> -<p class="right"> -<big>JOEL COLLIER</big>.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a id="Footnote_1" href="#FNanchor_1" class="label">[1]</a> Vide the last Vol. of the <i>Philosophical Transactions</i>.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a id="Footnote_2" href="#FNanchor_2" class="label">[2]</a>—“He was the first who seemed to think my journey -was, in some measure, a matter of national concern.”</p> - -<p> -<span class="smcap">Tour to Germany, &c.</span></p> -</div></div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">1</span> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_p01" style="max-width: 50em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_p01.jpg" alt="an assortment of instruments" /> -</div> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="MUSICAL_TRAVELS_c">MUSICAL TRAVELS, <i>&c.</i></h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">I was</span> born in the Parish of <i>Gotham</i>, -in the county of <i>Nottingham</i>: my father -was a sawyer, and my mother had, for -many years before her marriage, cried -oysters and Newcastle-salmon about the -streets of London. Neither of them are -said to have been remarkable for their -vocal or instrumental talents. My mother’s -voice was, indeed, exceedingly shrill and -dissonant, as I have been credibly informed -by the neighbours; however, I -was no sooner born than I gave proofs of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">2</span> -uncommon musical propensities. I entered -the world, singing, instead of crying; at -least, my squall was truly melodious, and -ravished the ears of the midwife; tho’, -I must confess, the envious old hag of a -nurse did pretend that my mother and -Mrs. <i>Midnight</i> mistook the origin of the -wild notes I uttered as soon as I saw -the light; and, insisting that they only -denoted the wind-cholic, immediately -drenched me with a large dose of rhubarb: -however, she has candidly confessed, that -she easily sang me to sleep whenever I -was peevish, and that even by means of -such simple melody as <i>Jack Sprat</i>, or <i>hey -diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle</i>. A -harsh and menacing recitative would as -effectually deter me from a naughty trick, -as a good whipping. The sound of a -drum, or any other martial music, had -such an immediate effect upon my nerves, -that I was always obliged to be turned -dry before the piece was half over. The -famous <i>March in Saul</i> is too powerful for<span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">3</span> -me even at this day, tho’ I can stand any -other, without being offensive. Indeed, -I am so well convinced of the connection -between the sound and the sense in all -good music, that I will venture to prescribe -<i>Handel’s water-piece</i>, and <i>water -parted from the sea</i>, as specifics for a -strangury. I know that there is great -truth in what <i>Shakespear</i> says of the bag-pipe; -and I have observed that a jockey -always whistles to his horse upon these -occasions, which never fails to produce -great effects, tho’ the performer want -brilliancy of execution ever so much.</p> - -<p>One of the first circumstances I myself -can recollect in my early years, was the -great pleasure I took in hearing a blind -boy play tunes on a bladder of air press’d -between a bow-stick and its string. The -Jew’s-harp next engaged my attention; -and afterwards the bag-pipe and bassoon. -Indeed I do remember having been told -by my Grandmother, that whilst I was -yet in coats, I took vast delight in pinching<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">4</span> -the tails of the Parson’s litter of pigs, and -would listen to their various notes and -tones from the <i>f</i> sharp of the whine of the -least of the family, quite down to the <i>b</i> flat -of the boar himself. This, with my -attention to my coral and bells, and -rattle, singing thro’ a comb and brown -paper, together with the great expertness -I afterwards shew’d in making whistles of -reeds, and the recent bark of sycamore -twigs, made the oldest people of the parish -foretel, that I should one day or other -become a great and celebrated Musician.</p> - -<p>My taste for the sister art of music, -Poetry, was likewise, as I am inform’d, -observed very early in my childhood; as -I always held my mouth wide open, when -the Psalm was sang at our Parish-Church; -and soon was able to repeat without book -a great part of <i>Sternhold</i> and <i>Hopkins</i>’s -excellent version of that great Dilettanti -performer on the harp, King <i>David</i>’s pieces.</p> - -<p>Having been well inform’d that the -infancy, and indeed the riper years of the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">5</span> -great Mus. D. or musical Doctor (whom -I call, <i>par excellence</i>, <span class="smcap">Dr. Mus</span>) passed in -much the same manner, and with similar -expectations from all the old ladies of his -acquaintance; and having observed with -what <i>eclat</i>, and indeed universal approbation -of all people of taste, his ingenious -account of his ingenious travels has been -received, I conceived a design of following -so illustrious an example, and travelling -through the dominions of <i>England</i>, <i>Scotland</i> -and <i>Ireland</i>, with the town of -<i>Berwick</i> upon <i>Tweed</i>, to give a true -state of the musical improvement and -progression in these kingdoms; and hope I -may flatter myself, that the Dr. himself will -applaud my undertaking, and consider it as -a proper supplement to his elaborate work.</p> - -<p>Before I set forwards on my travels, I -chose to change my name from <i>Collier</i> to -<i>Coglioni</i> or <i>Collioni</i>, as more euphonious; -and on the first of April, having torn -myself from the arms of my weeping -wife, and four small children, I put my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">6</span> -bassoon into a green-bag, and slung it -across my shoulders; my large violoncello -was laid on my knee as I sat in the -waggon, and my clothes, with a bottle of -brandy and some biscuits, were pack’d up -in the viol-case. As I was neither patronized, -nor franked on my tour by any -Dilettanti Lord, I must confess the low -state of my circumstances, and the poverty -in which I had left my family, cast a damp -on my spirits; but this was always soon -dissipated by an air on the violoncello, -and by recollecting the great advantages -my travels, to enquire into the state of -music in this island, would be to my -dear native country, and the fame and -glory I should acquire by the publication -of my work, perhaps only inferior to -that of the great Dr. <i>Mus</i> himself.</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Inspir’d by taste, o’er lands and seas <span class="allsmcap">HE</span> flew,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Europe he saw, and Europe saw him too.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Thro’ lands of singing, or of dancing slaves,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Love-echoing woods, and lute-resounding waves.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">O while along the stream of time, that name</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Expanded flies, and gathers all its fame;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Say, shall my little bark attendant sail,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Pursue the triumph and partake the gale?—</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">7</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="LINCOLN">LINCOLN.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> occasionally consoling myself, -the waggon arrived at the famous -and ancient city of <i>Lincoln</i>. My first visit -was to a young lady of high musical acquirements. -She received me with a most -bewitching air, which she sang to her guittar, -for she had heard of my fame at <i>Gotham</i>, -and was not unapprized of my ambulatory -design: her name was originally <i>Fernihough</i>, -but she had long dropped the -<i>hough</i> at the end of it, as gothic and -inharmonious. Thus she saluted me:</p> - -<p>“Dear Collioni, Collioni, Collioni;</p> -<p>Dear, dear, dear, Collioni;</p> -<p>Happy, happy, Gotham, Gotham;</p> -<p>Gotham, Gotham, happy Gotham.”</p> - -<p>I could only bow and smile in answer -to this compliment, (which indeed, tho’ -very elegant, I did not conceive was above -my merits,) as I had not an extempore -sonnet ready made to answer it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">8</span></p> - -<p>Then taking my hand with a delightful -air, she introduced me to Dr. <i>Dilettanti</i>, -a most illustrious timeist; he sat musing -and beating with his foot, and took hold -of, and quitted my hand in the same -portion of time, which he measured by -the pulsations of his foot.</p> - -<p>“Excuse,” said he, “illustrious <i>Collioni</i>, -the measured mode of my gestures in -saluting you; but I have long accustomed -myself to measure out the parts -of time on a variety of sounding instruments, -and have at length introduced it -into all the motions of my body. At -my house, sir, you will learn to cut your -meat, and move your jaws at dinner in -common or triple time, according to -the instruments that accompany our -meals.——By dealing the cards at quadrille, -how easy it is to judge if the -party has an ear!——yonder gentleman -who comes towards our window, see how -he swings his arms in exact time, true as -the pendulum of a clock. I can assure<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">9</span> -you, sir, he is great on the violoncello. -My dear wife says, the conjugal endearments -are doubly improved, if a husband -is a good timeist. She approves of -triple time; and on this account I formerly -had a servant who play’d in our -bed-room every Sunday night, ’till we -slept. And since I became one of the -<i>castrati</i>, I have acquired the habit of -making water at intervals in the truest -time like a pig; and may say, that I -believe for exactness of ear, that I am -not exceeded by any modern musician.”</p> - -<p>On this, this great man took up a Jew’s -harp that lay by him, and with a twing, -twang, twong, moving his finger across -his lips, and making faces in the most -exact time, he fetched out such prurient -harmony, as ravished my very soul, and -threw sweet Miss <i>Ferni</i> into the most -agreeable convulsions.</p> - -<p>During our dinner, two of the Doctor’s -servants entertained us with many excellent -and solemn pieces of music. Indeed,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">10</span> -I was so solicitous to cut and eat my meat -in true time, as I thought my character -depended on this circumstance, that I -unfortunately cut my lips, so that the -blood much terrified me; and sweet Miss -<i>Ferni</i> was so earnestly attending to the -fiddlers, that on their suddenly changing -the time from <i>adagio</i> to <i>sestina</i>, she swallowed -the ivory spoon out of a mustard -pot; which, as it stuck across her throat, I -am sure must have given that excellent -young lady exquisite pain, yet did she -cough, and even vomit repeatedly in most -accurate time, and screamed from fear -most harmoniously through the whole -gamut, from <i>a</i> to <i>g</i> inclusively, long -after the spoon was restored to its place.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">11</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="SHEFFIELD">SHEFFIELD.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">Dr.</span> <i>Dilettanti</i> was so kind as to make -me a present of a place in the stage -coach to <i>Sheffield</i> in my road to <i>York</i>, that -I might inquire into the present state of -the music of that city and cathedral. -Amongst the other passengers, was a gentleman -of a grave aspect; who, from his -not attending to me at the inn, when I -play’d a most inchanting solo on my -hautboy, appear’d at first to have no ears, -but on further conversation I found him a -most agreeable companion. He cry’d up -the ingenuity of the <i>Sheffield</i> manufacturers, -and told me of a new musical -instrument, more complicate, he thought, -and louder than an organ. The next day -he was so good as to accompany me to -hear this new organic instrument. The -first thing I could observe was a number -of iron pipes, and a water wheel to work<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">12</span> -the large bellows, like that organ of -which there is a print in <i>Kempleri Musurgia</i>. -When the wheel was in motion, -I observed many of the notes higher than -in any organ I had ever heard; and was -told, that these ingenious people had -found the only way to produce these was, -by boring gun-barrels: to these a symphony -was adduced by files which cut -the teeth of large saws, and the mellow -tones of two great hammers, which at -intervals struck on large pieces of red-hot -iron, made a more tremendous and affecting -concert, than all the mingled -whittles of <i>Cecilia</i>’s organ.</p> - -<p>Having paid a shilling to the performers -of this stupendous piece of harmony, at -which my grave companion seem’d much -delighted, and listen’d to my remarks -upon it with the greatest avidity and -approbation; “Signior <i>Collioni</i>,” says he, -“your observations inchant me; the most -antient music, as you well explain, was -made with hammers beating upon anvils,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">13</span> -as invented by <i>Tubal Cain</i>, and -practised in the shop of his successor, -<i>Vulcan</i>, tho’ <i>Saturn</i> is thought to have -been the first of the <i>castrati</i>.—But this -invention was not compleat, Signior -<i>Collioni</i>, it was not compleat, till this -excellent treble made by boring guns, -and cutting saws was added.—It is now -become the true antient, celebrated, -long-lost, and long-deplored chromatic, -which that <i>Heathen</i>, <i>Plato</i>, who had -doubtless ass’s ears, expelled from his -artificial commonwealth.”</p> - -<p>“Doubtless you are right in your conjectures,” -reply’d I, “Mr. <i>Hummings</i>, -(for that was my kind companion’s -name) it was music like this, which -could disenchant the moon, and make -trees and stones dance <i>allemands</i>. -Would you believe it, Mr. <i>Hummings</i>, -I once cured a girl bit with a tarantula -myself with this simple bassoon?</p> - -<p>“<i>Trut, turrut, phub, phub, bush!</i>—This -was the air, Mr. <i>Hummings</i>, you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">14</span> -shall hear it——<i>trut, turrut, phub, phub, -bush</i>:—the girl rising from her melancholy -attitude, danced till the sweat -ran down to the hem of her scarlet -petticoat; and after I had presented her -with a bit of money, became so lively -as to strip herself like King <i>David</i>, and -danced like a <i>Heinel</i>. I can assure you, -Mr. <i>Hummings</i>, I drove away the evil -spirit, and cured her of her tarantulism -that night.</p> - -<p>“Not unlike this, is a fact recorded -by the divine <i>Homer</i>. <i>Ulysses</i> had a -large rent made in his thigh by a wild -boar,—a terrible animal, Mr. <i>Hummings</i>:—well, -and what happen’d?—why, -he only sent for the town-waits, -and after the first bar or two were -play’d, the blood stopp’d; and as the -fiddles proceeded, the wound contracted, -and by the time they had -finished <i>Alley Croaker</i>, <i>Moggy Lauder</i>, -and <i>A lovely Lass to a Fryar came</i>, (which -are all antient <i>Greek</i> tunes, sir,) the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">15</span> -wound was quite healed, and the -cicatrix as smooth as the back of my -hand.”</p> - -<p>During this conversation, an unfortunate -accident had happened near us. One of -the performers on the hammer and iron -by a fall had broken his leg. A surgeon -was sent for with all dispatch, but Mr. -<i>Hummings</i> said I had as well try the effect -of the bassoon upon him; and pointing -to me, told the people that they need -seek no farther, for I was superior to any -surgeon. Upon this, untying my green -bag, the man cry’d out, he begg’d no -instruments might be used. “No, (says -I,) none but a musical instrument.” So -I began with a gentle blast, and played -and sung alternately,—“<i>You’ll ne’er go -the sooner to the Stygian Ferry. Let not -your noble spirits be cast down, but drink, -drink, drink, and be merry.</i>”—“Give -me some ale, (cries the wounded man) -I like this, Doctor.” Afterward I blew -till I nearly had burst my cheeks, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">16</span> -then sung, <i>If ’tis joy to wound a lover</i>; but -the bone would not knit:—indeed I could -not make it knit at all—and I don’t believe, -as Mr. <i>Hummings</i> said, that if Dr. <i>Mus</i> -himself, and all the musicians of Britain, -fiddlers, violoncellos, double violoncellos, -trumpets, and trumpet-marinos, together -with every <i>Maestro di Capella</i> in <i>Italy</i> -had been present, they could have made -this bone knit—which, I suppose, was -owing to the scorbutic habit of body of -the patient; indeed, Mr. <i>Hummings</i> attributed -it entirely to this cause; for the -blood stopped before I had finished the -first song.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">17</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="YORK">YORK.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">Nothing</span> worth remark occur’d -in my journey from hence to <i>York</i>; -but at my approach to this celebrated city, -my heart leapt for joy as soon as I beheld -the towers of the cathedral; here, says I, -I shall be much caressed and followed, I -dare believe, as there are so many of the -<i>Dilettanti</i> who reside within the precincts of -this antient seat of music and superstition. -This letter, says I, is of inestimable value, -taking it from my pocket, and reading -the direction, “For that incomparable -Musician and Antiquarian, Dr. <i>Hiccup</i>;” -doubtless he will pay great attention to -his friends at <i>Lincoln</i>, who have honoured -me with it. The footman shewed me -into an elegant parlour, where there was -a clock with chimes, so contrived that -St. <i>Peter</i>, St. <i>Paul</i>, and the <i>Virgin Mary</i> -were seen striking alternately on the bells,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">18</span> -and by a sweet trio announced every hour -of the day. Dr. <i>Hiccup</i> was, it seems, -at his devotions, which he always performed -in imitation of that great and -devout musician, King <i>David</i>. He was a -tall, boney figure, with a swarthy complexion, -and blear eyes. As I sat down -he took no notice of me, but continued -dancing with a harp in his hand, without -his breeches, and with his night-gown -and shirt tucked up above his waist; and -as he turned his brown posteriors this -way and that, in the gyrations of the -dance, all the women and children that -were looking in through the window of -his parlour, giggled, and made faces, and -shewed variety of indecent gesticulations -and noises. None of these, however, interrupted -the devotions of this great man.</p> - -<p>Never were such charming tunes elicited -from mortal harp, <i>Cambrian</i> or <i>Eolic!</i> -the dance was Devotion itself in human -form! After a little refreshment, this illustrious -Musician condescended to enter<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">19</span>tain -me with several interesting particulars -of the manner of his life, which I -begg’d leave to copy in my pocket book -in his presence.</p> - -<p>He rose every morning, when his -chime-clock struck eleven, (for, like the -famous <i>Chevalier Gluck</i>, he is too great -a genius to rise early) and generally gaped -all the time his lady was putting on his -breeches. For breakfast he always eat -rolls and butter, whether in summer or -winter; and after his breakfast paid a visit -to <i>Cloacina</i>, but assured me he never used -old music books on this occasion on any -account. He retired to rest about ten, -and seldom fail’d once in a month to compliment -his lady for undressing him.</p> - -<p>He communicated many other particulars -to me of less moment, and was so -obliging at length to beg I would treat -him with an air or two on the bassoon.</p> - -<p>I thought this a good opportunity to -give him a specimen of my poetic talents, -as well as of my musical ones, and per<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">20</span>formed -the following song, which I composed -at <i>Gotham</i> several years ago.</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Some came in a waggon, and some in a cart;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And many there were that did nothing but f—t:</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh rare <i>Nottingham</i> town, <i>Nottingham</i> town!</div> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>Nottingham</i> town; Oh rare <i>Nottingham</i> town!”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>The sweetness of the notes on my -bassoon, an instrument whose tone is so -like the sound it was to represent, ravished -his ears, which he hung quite down on -each shoulder, during the whole time of -my performance.</p> - -<p>I slept this night at Dr. <i>Hiccup</i>’s house, -and borrowed a shirt and pair of stockings -of him. At breakfast I took an opportunity -to tell him of the narrowness of -my circumstances; but he was suddenly -taken with a rapturous fit of devotion, -and pulling up his night-gown to his waist, -began to sing, and dance, and caper, and -kick, to such a degree, that no one in -the room was safe: I ran towards the door -to save my shins, and the Doctor rising -with both feet in the air like a Harlequin, -gave me such a horse-kick on my rump,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">21</span> -singing at the same time the <i>March in Saul</i>, -that I descended into the street down five -steps, head foremost, and cracked my -bassoon in twenty places.</p> - -<p>Six hours I attended at the door, but was -told by a servant out of a window, that -the Doctor was still performing his dance -of devotion; and for aught I know, that -great man may dance till doom’s-day, as -I never after could get any other answer at -his door.</p> - -<p>On more mature reflexion, I thought -this kind of treatment very hard from a -brother musician, and one to whom I was -so well recommended; but I consoled -myself with considering, that though my -bassoon was broken in sundry places, yet -I had retained the Doctor’s shirt and -stockings; and that it was very likely my -great prototype, Dr. Mus himself, had -frequently met with the same treatment, -tho’ his modesty had inclined him -to conceal it.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">22</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="DURHAM">DURHAM.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">From</span> this place to <i>Durham</i> I -was necessitated to travel on foot; -and by playing the <i>Black Joke</i>, <i>Murdoch -O’Blaney</i>, and other sentimental tunes -to the girls of the villages I pass’d through, -procured food and lodging, which my -brother of the String had refused me. -At <i>Darlington</i>, I waited on the <i>Maestro di -Capella</i>, or clerk of the parish, who I -may assert had the finest nasality, or nose-intonation, -that ever was given to <i>David</i>’s -<i>psalms</i>; and the melody of his <i>Amen</i>, -was quite astonishing.</p> - -<p>So well was my bassoon received at this -church, that the ’Squire’s lady invited me -to Dinner. “Good Signior <i>Collioni</i>,” says -she, “you have charmed, you have enraptured -me; pray, has the wind which -escapes out at the end of your instrument -any smell?”——“smell!” says I, “no,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">23</span> -madam, not unless I eat onions.” At -this all the ladies laughed most extravagantly.</p> - -<p>However, the ’Squire after dinner gave -me a recommendatory letter to the great -Mr. <i>Eccho</i> of <i>Durham</i>, principal performer -belonging to that opulent cathedral; and -withal told me, that Mr. <i>Eccho</i> had so -long apply’d himself to musical notes, -that he had utterly forgot all articulate -language. That he preached, conversed, -prayed, scolded, swore, talk’d bawdy, -and blasphemy, all on the fiddle, without -uttering a word, or even making a sign -with his fingers.</p> - -<p>At my introduction to this great man, -I began a long complimental speech, -which I had been some time studying.——“Most -respectable sir, whose soul is a -soul of harmony, and whose body is -like a base-viol.”——Here he snatch’d -up his fiddle with an air of great complacency, -and drawing, the bow gently -over the strings said, as plain as if he had<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">24</span> -spoke it. “Oh, sir, your most obedient; -you compliment me indeed, sir, too -much.” I then told him how long a -journey I had performed on foot, and that -the dusty roads had made me dry. He -snatched up his violin, and before he had -play’d above a bar or two, in came a footman -with a jug of delicate ale. Next I -mentioned modestly my having eat nothing -all day.——“<i>Trut, trut, bish, bash, bush</i>,” -cries the fiddle—“Indeed, sir,” replies I, “I, -don’t fast for the sake of devotion”——“<i>ir, -er, ar, querr, quorr, quurr</i>”—quoth -the fiddle, and in came a surloin of cold -beef, and mustard and bread, in the -twinkling of a fiddle-stick.</p> - -<p>This gentleman, quoth I, is greater -than <i>Orpheus</i> or <i>Eurydice</i>, or the <i>Serpent</i>;—no, -no, <i>Orpheus</i> could do no such -things as these—ale and beef were a note -or two above his fiddle!</p> - -<p>Soon after came in Mr. <i>Eccho</i>’s wife, -with a “what the deuce are you about, -bringing beggars into my house?”—Mr.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">25</span> -<i>Eccho</i> catched up the fiddle, and such a -jar did I never hear “<i>arg, erg, urg, gir, -gor, gur</i>”—I warrant you madam became -as dumb as if she were inchanted.</p> - -<p>Indeed, hearing this lady give me the -opprobrious name of beggar, I took care -to shew the diamond ring on my little -finger, which I always wear when I perform -in public, which might give her a -better opinion of me, tho’ indeed it is -only a Bristol stone, and that I pay a -silver-smith two pence a week for the use -of; and I would have hired a laced -waistcoat, but was asked a shilling a -week, tho’ I am sure the lace had been -twice turn’d; yet, if I had hired it, I -dare say Dr. <i>Hiccup</i> would scarcely have -kicked me out of his house.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">26</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CARLISLE">CARLISLE.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">At</span> <i>Carlisle</i> I waited on Lord <i>Diddle-doodle</i> -with proper musical credentials: -he was sat against a glass -practising some solfeggis on the violin, -and attending to the gracefulness of his -own attitude. “Most illustrious Peer,” -says I, (making a bow to the very -ground) “your noble ancestors gain’d -victory in the hardy fields of war, but -you by music civilize and harmonize -mankind; with what rapture must they -lean from their starry mansions to see -and hear your immortal powers of harmony -and grace!” I stopp’d, and on -looking up, found that his lordship had -not attended to a word I had spoken, nor -seemed conscious of my being in the -room;—but as great geniuses are often -absent, I repeated my compliment in -a louder voice, and approaching, was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">27</span> -amazed to find that his lordship was quite -deaf, deaf as a post; and yet he executed -the most difficult passages in music with -the greatest grace and manner, better, -I dare say, than if he had heard his -own performance.</p> - -<p>When his lordship had perceived me, -he approached me with the utmost politeness, -and made signs for me to sit down, -and accompany him upon the bassoon, -which I did ’till dinner-time. After dinner, -I intreated my lady <i>Diddle-doodle</i> to -prevail upon the noble lord to sing, which -he did; but I was rather disappointed at -finding that his voice was only pack-thread<a id="FNanchor_3" href="#Footnote_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a>. -However, he sung in tune; -had a shake, and was far from vulgar. -My lady afterwards made ample amends -by her own singing. Her voice was a -skane of silk, without the least mixture of -worsted. She understood all the lights -and shades of melody. Her back-ground;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">28</span> -her mezzotints; and her clare-obscure -were charming, and there was such a -roundness and dignity in all the tones, -that every thing she did became interesting.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> -<div class="footnote"> -<p><a id="Footnote_3" href="#FNanchor_3" class="label">[3]</a> “His voice is now but a thread.”</p> - -<p class="right"> -<span class="smcap">Tour to Italy.</span></p> -</div> -</div> - -<p>It was in this part of <i>England</i>, I paid -a visit to Mr. <i>Quaver</i>, with recommendatory -letters from lord <i>Diddle-doodle</i>; I -found him to be a gentleman of considerable -and original musical genius; his taste -was pure, chaste, refined; and his execution, -particularly upon the Jew’s harp, -was exquisite; he executed with great -taste and powers, <i>Nancy Dawson</i>, <i>Lillabullero</i>, -and <i>Old Sir Simon the king</i>. After -dinner he explained to me his system for -the improvement of sound, which was at -once sublime and original. “The Author -of Nature,” said he, “has with an equal -and judicious hand distributed his gifts -among his creatures: to one he has given -strength; to another, dexterity; to a third, -perseverance; in the same manner has he -divided the agreeable qualifications; and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">29</span> -the courtier and the fine gentleman need -not blush to receive instruction from the -spaniel and the monkey—Now as the -philosopher models his life upon an imitation -of the virtues of animals, the true -connoisseur will do the same”—there he -stopp’d, as if afraid to explain himself; but -I told him, that there was something so -original and masterly in his conceptions -that I should never be easy, until he communicated -them. Upon which, after a -short pause, he seized me by the hand, -and grasping it with affection, “since,” -said he, “I find in you the true spirit of -your science, I will no longer maintain -any reserve; know then, that after a -profound meditation upon the sublimest -mysteries of our profession, I have traced -them up to the creation”—“how!” said -I, with amaze, “I thought that the greatest -Antiquarians had never brought them -with any certainty higher than the Deluge.” -“I knew,” said he, “I should surprize -you; but it is certain that <i>Adam</i>,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">30</span> -amongst his other qualifications, possessed -that of expressing every sound that ever -has or can be uttered; hence he could not -only sing base and treble, counter-tenor, -and soprano to admiration; but also -squeak like a pig, croak like a frog, bellow -like a bull, whinny like a colt, and -bray like an ass.”</p> - -<p>“It is true, that the greater part of these -faculties was taken from him at the Fall, -and have been very sparingly bestowed -upon his descendants; from hence arises -that degeneracy into which music has -fallen in the modern ages of the world: -that sublime science, instead of expressing -the natural passions, by a judicious imitation -of the tones of beasts; instead of -roaring out the lion’s rage; bellowing the -jealousy of the bull, or chanting the amorous -passions of the nightingale, is become -a meer unmeaning jargon, without force -or energy, and its professors and admirers -are dwindled into the most contemptible -part of the creation; quavering<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">31</span> -eunuchs, unfeeling prostitutes, insignificant -blockheads, wretches without head, -or heart, or sentiment, or enthusiasm.”—I -was too sensible that there was but too -much truth in this gentleman’s observations, -though I could not assent to every -thing he said against our modern <i>virtuosi</i>, -among whom envy itself must acknowledge -there are some accomplished characters; -and the eighteenth century will -always glory in having produced an <span class="smcap">Elector -of Munich</span>, a <span class="smcap">Tenducci</span>, and a -<span class="smcap">Mus</span>.</p> - -<p>“But,” said my friend, “perceiving -this to be the lamentable state of things, -I have with true and indefatigable industry -applied myself to the restoration -of the first <i>Adamitical</i> harmony; I have -selected the most admirable notes from -every animal, and have already acquired -a tolerable proficiency in bellowing, -braying and grunting: I indeed found -that the <i>squall</i> of the peacock was two -notes too high for my voice; but in re<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">32</span>turn, -if I may say so without vanity, I -can inspire every hen and gosling in the -yard with tender sentiments. I have, -besides this, collected every great natural -genius that I have found among the -brute creation; I have a young he-ass -who has an admirable bass; a young -hog, (a <i>castrato</i>) who sings counter-tenor; -and a dear little cat, whom, in -honour of that illustrious name, so celebrated -in the Doctor’s tour, I call -<span class="smcap">Mingotti</span>, who has an excellent treble, -and a surprising <i>portamento</i>. But -why waste I time in description? you -shall see my scholars, and my <i>schola</i>.”</p> - -<p>Saying this, he led me to a large building, -which resembled a barn, where we -were received by the <i>Maestro di Capella</i>, -who was an old and deaf huntsman. The -first object I beheld was a beautiful she-ass -in a <i>Mecklinburgh</i> night-cap, who -brayed a solo. Her voice was one of the -clearest, sweetest, truest, most powerful -and extensive I ever heard. In compass,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">33</span> -it is from <i>B♭</i> on the fifth space in the bass, -to <i>D</i> in <i>alt</i>, full steady and equal; her -shake was good, and her <i>portamento</i> admirably -free from the nose, mouth, or -throat. We were then entertained by a -duet between the <i>Mingotti</i>, and a large -raven, in the <i>chromatic</i>, which grew -more spirited by my friend’s pulling a -bone out of his pocket, which he threw -to the performers, and thereby produced -a <i>conflicta</i>. I then told my friend that I -would willingly hear the <i>castrato</i>, but he -told me he was afraid the <i>Caffarelli</i> could -not oblige me in that particular, as he had -unfortunately taken cold by rolling too -long upon an unaired dunghill, and was -then actually in a course of sugar-candy. -However, he threw a turnip to encourage -him to exert himself, and I could judge -from what I then heard, that he is likely -to become a most masterly performer.</p> - -<p>My friend then tied strings to the ears -of six young greyhound puppies, which -he twitch’d with so much art and judgment<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">34</span> -by means of a pully, that I think the -effect was equal to any <i>viol di gamba</i> I ever -heard, not excepting that of the Elector -of <i>Munich</i>.</p> - -<p>My friend then suspended two cats by -the tails, which he contrived should alternately -bob upon the noses of two sucking -pigs, who were tied by the hind-legs -to the floor: though I observed these performers -were somewhat embarassed in -their manner, yet I could not but acknowledge -the effect was quite original -and truly theatric.</p> - -<p>Mr. <i>Quaver</i> then told me that he had -formerly introduced some of these performers -to sing at a concert, but without -success: and he made great complaints of -the unpoliteness of the audience, which -he said could sit with patience three hours -to listen to the unmeaning trills of heroes -in hoop-petticoats, and <i>Italian</i> vagabonds -in a strange language, while they would -not bestow one half hour upon the voice -of nature and their brethren. Tho’ I was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">35</span> -quite ignorant of the facts he alluded too, -yet, like Dr. <span class="smcap">Mus</span>, I was so partial to talents, -wherever I found them, that I -could not help condoling with my kind -host upon the occasion; and after having -bemoaned the degeneracy of the times, -and wished him success in his truly original -undertaking, which I promised him I -would take due notice of in my intended -work, I set forward on my journey to -<i>Bristol</i>.</p> - -<p>Had I been rich, I should have agreed -with a coachman, who was just then -setting out, and offered to carry me and my -bassoon, in the basket, for sixteen shillings. -But as riches are not always the companions -of genius, I rather chose to take -my place in a coal-vessel, which was to -arrive at that city in three days. Here, -as the weather was extremely fine when I -sat out, I travelled very agreeably, for -the first day, and dined upon bread -and cheese, and cold bacon, without -making any observations worth commu<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">36</span>nicating -to the public, except that I -saw a man standing upon the bank, and -angling for dace, notwithstanding the -earliness of the season.</p> - -<p>The second day, as the wind suddenly -changed from West to North-East, was -foggy, rainy, and so exceedingly cold, that -I was obliged, for want of Dr. <span class="smcap">Mus</span>’s lousy -blanket, to slip my legs and thighs into a -coal-sack; we stopped about two o’clock -at <i>Averley</i>, a little village on the banks -of the <i>Severn</i> to dine; and here I cannot -but inform the world, that Mr. <i>Bangor</i>, -at the sign of the <i>Goat in Boots</i>, is an extremely -civil and polite landlord, and has -no contemptible taste in music. When I -informed him of my design in making this -expedition, he very obligingly led me into -his hall, which was stuck round with -various antique pieces of music, such as -<i>Chevy Chace</i>, <i>The Children in the Wood</i>, -<i>Three Children sliding on the Ice</i>, <i>The history of -St. George</i>, &c. which he kindly permitted -me to enrich my collection with. I begged<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">37</span> -hard that he would permit me to prick -out the notes of an incomparable whistle -as he performed it, which at length with -great difficulty he complied with, upon -condition however that I should not print -it. But I was more than all surprized -and charmed with his generosity, in slipping -a piece of fried cow’s heel into my -pocket, and insisting upon treating me -with a dram, before I went into the cold.</p> - -<p>As I walked down to the river side, I -remarked a boy, who was humming the -tune of <i>Yanky Doodle</i>; and as I knew this -to be an extremely popular air in some -parts of <i>America</i>, I conjectured that this -part of <i>England</i> was originally peopled -from that continent.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">38</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="BRISTOL">BRISTOL.</h2> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">Late</span> the next evening, we arrived -at <i>Bristol</i>, a large and populous -city, more famous for its commerce, -manufactures and such trifles, than for -its taste in music. They have but lately -had a regular theatre established there to -civilize and polish the uncouth manners -of the dissenters, who would even have -succeeded in the savage opposition they -made to this salutary measure, if the -bishops had not espoused the cause of the -fine arts; I have little doubt, therefore, -that they will soon find that “music is so -combined with things sacred and important, -as well as with our pleasures, -that it seems necessary to our existence:” -they will then quickly become -friends to organs, and next to operas. -As I approached the city, I was gratified -with seeing the battalions of the principal<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">39</span> -militia, who made a most formidable appearance, -and marched in exact time to -the marrow-bones and cleavers, which -had an admirable effect and were extremely -animating. I put up at the -<i>Dog’s Head in the Porridge-Pot</i>, and -after powdering my wig with some -flour, clipping my beard with a pair of -scissars, and turning my shirt, I went to -wait on Signor <i>Manselli</i>, to whom I had -letters of recommendation. When I -had knocked at the door, and enquired -whether the Signor was within, I was -informed that he was, but that I could -not see him, as he was then busied in -performing his vocalities. This answer, -you may be sure, redoubled my curiosity, -and I replied, “if a poor, yet I trust, -not unknown musician, may be judged -worthy of being an unobserved spectator -of the Signor’s meditations, I promise -not to interrupt his reveries, and perhaps -the Signor himself will not be -displeased at your introducing to him a -<i>Collioni</i>!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">40</span></p> - -<p>When he learned that I was a musician, -he bowed respectfully, and desiring me to -pull off my shoes, as he did himself, he -led me to the Signor’s apartment. When -we came to the door, the servant desired -me to pull off my coat, waistcoat, and -wig, and creep through a hole, which he -shewed me at the bottom of the door, as -he assured me the Signor did not suffer -even crowned heads to approach him in -these moments of enthusiasm, without -taking those precautions; “and sir,” said he, -“you need not think this an humiliating -situation, as I have seen many persons of -the first fashion, among whom were -several pregnant ladies, submit to the -same ceremony.”</p> - -<p>I did not hesitate a moment to comply -with the customary <i>etiquette</i>, but stripping -myself to the shirt, I crept into the -room with the same awful silence with -which the antient priests approached the -Tripod of their God. Having posted myself -behind a large screen, I beheld the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">41</span> -Signor extended on his belly, while two -young and beautiful ladies were gently -stroaking his back with the palms -of their hands. He lay for some minutes -pensive and silent, as if waiting -for the inspirations of the divinity. At -length, on a sudden, “his eyes were fixt, -his underlip fell, and drops of effervescence -distilled from his whole -countenance.” Immediately explosions -of the most musical intonation I had ever -heard, issued from behind, and enraptured -the whole company. After this, he successively -coughed, sneezed, hiccuped, -eructated, squeaked and whistled in the -most harmonious manner that can be -conceived. “Thank heaven,” cried the -Signor, “my powers of harmony are -yet undiminished: I shall still live to -bless the world, and polish this brutal -nation.” Saying this, he took up his -fiddle, and played a most divine solo. I -heard him for some time in silent ecstacy, -’till at length incapable of suppressing my -emotions any longer, I precipitated myself<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">42</span> -into his arms, crying or rather blubbering -out in imitation of the great <i>Cassarelli</i>, -<i>Bravo! bravissimo! Manselli, è Collioni -che ti lo dice</i>. The Signor seemed -somewhat surprized at my abrupt introduction, -but at length, recollecting -himself, he received me with ineffable -politeness. The ladies at my appearance, -had shrieked, and left the room, which -in the first hurry of our embraces we had -not perceived. But presently the Signor, -glancing his eye downwards, recollected -himself, and said with some warmth and -emphasis, “O, fye, Signor <i>Collioni</i>, I -took it for granted you were one of -<span class="allsmcap">US</span>.” I blushed at the imputation, and -said, “I hoped this defect would not -lessen me in his esteem, as my country -was not yet sufficiently civilized to have -adopted the custom; and though some -of our prime nobility had the spirit and -taste to lead the way, yet in the gross -conceptions of the <i>English</i>, there was a -certain degree of ridicule annexed to it,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">43</span> -which deterred several men otherwise -of the most exquisite politeness from -submitting to it.” The Signor was kind -enough to admit my excuses, but lamented -this as the greatest obstacle to the -national advancement in the science of -music. However, he averred that several -<i>English</i> young noblemen of fortune had to -his knowledge undergone the operation -in <i>Italy</i>, “and though,” added he, “an -ordinary proficient may be exempted -from the practice, yet it is indispensibly -necessary for one who would fathom all -the mysteries of the art, and emulate the -illustrious names of <i>Senesino</i>, <i>Farinelli</i>, -<i>Tenducci</i>, &c.”</p> - -<p>I confess I was much staggered at what -he said, more especially as I began to entertain -some doubts myself whether the -characters of a man and a musician were -at all compatible.</p> - -<p>I hinted to him, that I had formerly -heard, that a certain great Personage, -<i>tàm Marti quàm Mercurio</i>, equally il<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">44</span>lustrious -for his martial and his musical -talents, had adopted the practice; but as -the Doctor had not recorded it in his tour -to <i>Potzdam</i>, I imagined the report was -without foundation.</p> - -<p>“Ah!” said he, “depend upon it, tho’ -the Doctor has indeed omitted this -circumstance in the admirable description -he gives of that hero, and Dilettante -practising his <i>solfeggi</i> at <i>Potzdam</i>, -yet he would never have been either the -monarch, or the flutist he is without it. -Do you think, added he, that illustrious -philosopher could amuse himself so calmly -in his closet with fugus and adagios, -while ten thousand <i>Polish</i> widows, and -orphans, were imprecating curses upon -the head of their unfeeling destroyer, -unless he had totally disengaged himself -from every incumbrance of his sex -and species?”</p> - -<p>Here the entrance of the young ladies -interrupted any further conversation on the -subject. The eldest, his niece, who was called<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">45</span> -<i>Gluckinella Inglesina</i>, desired me to sing, -which I did in the softest and most unmanly -tone I could exert, that I might not again -offend. I asked her what her real opinion -of my voice was? she answered me with -the most perfect affability, that I acquitted -myself tolerably well <i>considering</i>; tho’ -“she thought me too ambitious of displaying -my talent of working parts and -subjects, and added that my <i>cantilena</i> -was often rude.”</p> - -<p>I took an opportunity when I was alone -with this young lady, to enquire if the -<i>castrati</i> were much in vogue at <i>Bristol</i>, -and if that operation could be so safely -attempted on elderly gentlemen; this -young lady smiled at my simplicity, and -assured me that the operation was safe and -easy, and not so painful as to acquire any -degree of resolution, and that the <i>castrati</i> -were the favourites of the ladies, both of -the married and unmarried. She advised -me by all means to undergo the operation -as the Doctor had done in <i>Italy</i>, tho’ his -excess of modesty prevented him from<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">46</span> -boasting of it in his excellent treatise. -She added, that she could not with safety -love me, unless I would submit to this for -her sake.</p> - -<p>This declaration from a young lady for -whom I now perceived I had imbibed the -most ardent affection, gave me great uneasiness; -that affection however was purely -platonic and spiritual, for personal charms -she had no more to boast of, that ever I -discovered, than <i>Mingotti</i> herself. Besides -the disadvantage of a contortion in the -ogle, vulgarly called a squint of the eye, -and a very long red nose, she had a -mouth, which tho’ it opened from ear -to ear, discovered to the eye nothing -but the sad remains of a set of ebony teeth, -which more resembled the ruins of an old -cathedral, than the polished ivory which -adorns the comic mouth of the celebrated -Mrs. <i>Ab-ngt-n</i>. There was yet another -circumstance to disgust the sensualist, and -deter him from approaching this Syren -with an improper familiarity; and that -was the great offensiveness of her breath,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">47</span> -which was so violent, that any person not -“determined” like me “to hear, see,” and -smell “nothing but music,” might have -thought it hardly atoned for by the sweetness -of her voice. Yet none of these circumstances -damped the ardor of my spiritual -attachment, founded, as it was, upon -a solid basis, the love of song;—it -was embodied harmony, the tuneful -soul which I adored. The reader who -is unacquainted with the difference between -a gross sensual passion, and a -sublime, harmonic sympathy, may perhaps -be surprized when I tell him, that -while I was thus devoted to the divine -<i>Gluckinella</i>, I was at the same time personally -captivated by the corporeal attractions -of a little black-ey’d Gypsy, the wife of a -barber in the town, who often shaved -me for a tune; yet did not these grosser -feelings the least impair or abate my -musical platonic love. I might perhaps -be excused, were I to conceal the progress -and issue of these different amours; but<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">48</span> -they are so intimately blended with the -scientific part of my work, and were attended -with such important consequences -to myself in my professional capacity, -that I doubt not the narration will prove of -great utility to my brethren. For it was no -common temptation that deluded me; tho’ -Mrs. <i>Sharpset</i> was abundantly handsome, -I could have resisted “the blandishments -of beauty,” if a desire of making dangerous -experiments upon the power and effects of -music upon female passion had not seized -my brain. For I had taken notice, that -the imagination of this young woman -was exceedingly lively and far out-stripped -her husband’s, who was a plain dull man -with little fire or enthusiasm in his composition. -I plainly perceived this in all -her gestures and movements, but when I -sung some tender sentimental air, her involuntary -sighs, blushes, and languid attitude, -betrayed too plainly the irritability -of her nervs, and that fine susceptibility -of soft emotions with which nature has<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">49</span> -endowed the sex. No wonder that in a -rude, uncultivated state of nature as I then -was, I caught the subtle fire from her -contagious eyes. Ah! how often did I -sing the <i>sweet passion of Love</i> without -once thinking of my dear <i>Gluckinella</i>; how -often did she encore my <i>O how pleasing ’tis -to please</i>, without the slightest recollection -of her absent barber! Madly determined -to pursue the fatal experiment, and observe -the full effects of my art; I next -sung “<i>Haste, let us rove, to the Island of -Love”</i>, at which Mrs. <i>Sharpset</i> was -greatly agitated and danced about the -room. Then I played a rapturous voluntary -“produced in the happy moments of -effervescence when my reason was less -powerful than my feeling;” and at -length I proceeded to such excess of temerity, -as to tune up <i>Geho Dobbin</i>, <i>Murdoch -O’Blaney</i>, and several other inflammatory -compositions; and finding my -mistress “attentive, and in a disposition -to be pleased, I became animated to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">50</span> -that true pitch of enthusiasm, which -from the ardor of the fire within, -is communicated to others and sets all -around in a blaze, so that the contention -between the performer and -the hearer was only who should please -or who should applaud the most, -till at length, not contented with -shewing her approbation by coughing, -hemming, and blowing the nose” she -“expressed rapture in a manner peculiar -to herself, and seemed to agonize with -pleasure too great for the aching -sense!” for at length, overpowered by -my quirking and quavering, and transported -beyond all the bounds of prudence, -Mrs. <i>Sharpset</i> on a sudden leaped -into my arms, hung round my -neck, and devoured me with eager -kisses, such as I never tasted before -or since. What man, what unemasculated -god could have withstood such -potent snares? Ah! my serene <i>Gluckinella</i> -had’st thou been there, these tumults had -all subsided, the devil had not got intire<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">51</span> -possession of my mind, voice and instrument, -nor had I needed the painful operation -of the barber’s avenging steel to -bring my wandering spirits back to reason:—for -soon, and in the midst of our illicit -joys, the door of the chamber was forced -open, and in rushed Mr. <i>Sharpset</i>.—Discordant -oaths and curses, and the -look and voice of a Fury making an -incantation to awake the dead, bespoke -the injured husband, and scared us from -the bed. He retired a moment to -fetch the instrument of his revenge. -Mrs. <i>Sharpset</i> escaped, but in an instant -I saw him return whetting his -keenest razor; and concluding, that he -meant to cut my throat upon the spot, -I fell down at his feet and in an agony -of fear and penitence, roared out such a -<span class="smcap">Miserere</span>, as was never heard at the -Pope’s chapel in <i>Passion-week</i>. Alas! -how did I wish for the genius of a <i>Gluck</i>, -“to paint <i>my</i> difficult situation occasioned<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">52</span> -by complicated misery, and the tempestuous -fury of unbridled passions!” -But <i>Allegri</i> himself, had he chanted his -own <span class="smcap">Miserere</span>, could not have moved the -shaver’s unrelenting soul, or soothed his -injured honour up in arms, and demanding -its victim! I tried a softer strain, and -sang in melting mood, “<i>Let not rage thy -Bosom firing, pity’s softer claim remove</i>,” -&c. but it was all one: still strapped he his -inexorable razor, humming out a song -of <i>Bravura</i>, the subject of which was -the castration of the devil by a baker; -(which, by the bye, is a very curious story, -whose authenticity I must enquire into -farther at my leisure.) I immediately -augured my approaching destiny from the -burden of this song; and the <i>Cornuto</i> -presently gave me to understand that my -conjecture was well founded. Having -been till now in a cold-sweat, and corporal -fear of my life, I congratulated myself on -this exchange of punishment, as a sort of -reprieve, and considering that I had some<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">53</span> -time since resolved, like another <i>Grassetto</i>, -to undergo the operation whenever I found -myself bold enough for such a voluntary -sacrifice; I plucked up courage, and with -great composure told the barber, that a -guilty conscience was a greater torment to -me than any he could devise; but that to -expiate the crime I had committed, and appease -the anger of heaven, and the honest -man whom I had so deeply offended, I -would patiently submit to suffer the -righteous sentence which his vengeance -meditated on the peccant part. The -enraged tonsor took me at my word.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The first thing that came into my thoughts -after I awoke from the fainting fit, into -which the paroxism of pain had thrown -me, was to try my voice in its improved -state. I accordingly sung <i>A Dawn of -Hope my Soul revives</i>, and found my -powers wonderfully improved, and my -execution delicate, interesting, and full -of effects. “Ho, ho,” cries the barber, “I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">54</span> -am glad to find you are so merry,” and -resumed his old tune of the baker and the -devil. I told him I thought it unkind in -him to insult me, and intreated him -to convey me home, which he very readily -consented to do, and soon afterwards began -to apologize for the effects of his -rage, hoping I would consider the nature -of the provocation, and not attempt to -take the law of him. I answered, that -upon condition he would freely pardon -his wife, whose fault was venial, as her -virtue had fallen a sacrifice to the power -of harmony, I would decline any hostile -proceedings against him on my own account, -with which condition he appeared -satisfied, and we parted.—I was brought -home on a mule, on which I rode sideways; -and as soon as I alighted at Signor -<i>Manselli</i>’s I sent for him into my chamber, -and accosted him as he approached with -the following air, in singing which I -exerted all my newly-acquired powers.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">55</span></p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>Bear, O bear me on a sudden,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>Some kind stroke of smiling chance!</i></div> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>From this land of beef and pudding,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>To dear</i> Italy <i>or</i> France!</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>I am sick to the soul,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>Politics and sea coal,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>So give one the vapours,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent0"><i>Their cursed news-papers,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>Their mobbing,</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>Stock-jobbing</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>Are horrors to me;</i></div> - <div class="verse indent2"><i>I wish the whole island were sunk in the sea.</i></div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>During my performance, the Signor appeared -perfectly astonished, and at length -seizing my hand with rapture, “welcome,” -he cried, “O son of harmony! it cannot -be longer disguised, you are a brother—you -are one of us”—then expatiating -on the dignity and importance of the -order of <i>castrati</i>, he desired me, if not -too much exhausted, to sing again his -favourite air, which when I had done<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">56</span> -he cried out with transport;—“<i>nec vox -hominem sonat!</i> I can hardly believe -it is the same pipe! such a volume of -voice, such an open and perfect shake! -such light and shade! never was voice -less <i>cloudy</i>! such clearness, brilliancy, -neatness, expression, embellishment, intonation, -firmness, modulation, smoothness -and elegance! and then your <i>portamento</i> -is as round and tight as a -portmanteau, and you take <i>appogiatura</i>, -as easily as a body would take a pinch -of snuff!”—</p> - -<p>I was greatly flattered by these encomiums, -but begged he would forbear -and suffer me to retire to my chamber, -for the sake of necessary refreshment and -rest. He immediately complied, and sent up -to me Signor <i>Sougelder</i>, an eminent surgeon -in the neighbourhood, and an agreeable -performer on the <i>English</i> horn; who -having applied an excellent dressing to -my wound left me to sleep, and “thus -ended this busy and important day, in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">57</span> -which so much was said, and done; -that it seemed to contain the events of a -much longer period; and I could hardly -persuade myself, upon recollecting the -several incidents, that they had all happened -in about the space of twelve -hours.” By the kind and skilful offices -of Signor <i>Sougelder</i>, I was soon restored to -my health and spirits; and my adorable -Signora <i>Gluckinelli</i> in a few days paid me -a visit of congratulation, which she repeated -every day during my recovery. It -was in some of these delightful interviews -I discovered how deep a theorist she -was, and how learned in the science of -sound. Among other discoveries and -observations which she communicated to -me, and which I treasure up, and mean -to preserve for the benefit of future ages, -she assured me that it was “practicable -with time and patience to give a shake -where nature has denied it; that she -thought, the shake ruined ninety-nine -times out of a hundred by too much<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">58</span> -impatience and precipitation, both in -the master and scholar, and that many -who can execute passages which require -the same motion of the <i>larynx</i> as the shake, -have notwithstanding never acquired -one”—“There is no accounting for -this,” added that illustrious young lady, -with a sigh, “but from the neglect of -the master to study nature, and avail -himself of these passages, which by -continuity would become real shakes.”</p> - -<p>During my confinement to my chamber, -I have had leisure to extract the -foregoing observations, anecdotes, and -adventures from my journal, and which -I present to the world as the first hints of -my undertaking. If they tend in any -shape to promote the study and practice -of music in this country, and by -that means lessen our national reproach -of being <i>The Savages of Europe</i>, immersed -in politics, philosophy, metaphysics, mathematics, -and other sour and abstruse -speculations, I shall have gained my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">59</span> -end, and shall congratulate myself on -having in some humble degree assisted the -generous efforts of the great musical -Doctor, and the governors of the <i>Foundling -Hospital</i>, to polish and <i>Italianize</i> the -genius, taste, and manners of the <i>English</i> -nation.</p> - -<p>I shall trespass on the reader’s patience -but one moment longer, to inform him -that as soon as I had perfectly recovered my -health, Signor <i>Manselli</i> instituted a grand -<i>Fête Cbampêtre</i> to celebrate what he was -pleased to call my victory over the flesh -and the devil; and to crown the whole, -the idol of my soul, the fair <i>Gluckinella</i>, -was that day pleased to condescend publicly -to avow her platonic harmonic passion -for me; and to promise me in the most -endearing manner, that if ever she entered -into the holy slate of matrimony, I should -be her <span class="smcap">Cecisbeo</span>.</p> - - -<p class="center">THE END.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">60</span></p> - -<h3 id="Speedily"><i>Speedily will be published</i>,</h3> -</div> - - -<p class="center">An <span class="smcap">Enquiry</span> into the <span class="smcap">Present State</span></p> - -<p class="center"><small>OF THE</small></p> - -<p class="center"><big>MUSIC <span class="allsmcap">OF THE</span> SPHERES</big>.</p> - -<p class="center"><small>To which will be prefixed</small>,</p> - -<p class="center"><small>The <span class="smcap">Overture</span> to the last <span class="smcap">Eclipse</span> of the <span class="smcap">Moon</span>;</small></p> - -<p class="center"><small>And, a Dissertation on the Structure and Use</small></p> - -<p class="center"><small>OF THE</small></p> - -<p class="center"><small><span class="smcap">Celestial Bow</span>, commonly called the <span class="smcap">Rain-Bow</span></small>.</p> - -<hr class="full" /> -<p class="center">By JOEL COLLIER, Organist.</p> -<hr class="full" /> - -<p class="hang"><small><i>Avia Pieridum perago loca nullius antè -Trita solo.</i></small></p> -<p class="right"> -<span class="smcap"><small>Lucr.</small></span></p> -<hr class="full" /> - - -<p class="hang"> -⁂ <small>Price to Subscribers, Two Guineas; Non-Subscribers<br /> -Three Guineas and an Half</small>.</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUSICAL TRAVELS THROUGH ENGLAND ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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