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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d675ad8 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #64880 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64880) diff --git a/old/64880-0.txt b/old/64880-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index b5ba05a..0000000 --- a/old/64880-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,913 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Facts of Life, by P. Schuyler Miller - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Facts of Life - -Author: P. Schuyler Miller - -Release Date: March 20, 2021 [eBook #64880] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FACTS OF LIFE *** - - - - - The FACTS of LIFE - - by P. SCHUYLER MILLER - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Comet May 41. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -"The ability to profit by past experience and to use this knowledge as -a guide to future action may, ladies and gentlemen, be taken as the -primary differentiation between the animal and the vegetable kingdoms." - -Thus Professor Melchizedek Hobbs, principal of the Springville Free -Academy, on the day long-gone when I began my higher education. I can -see him yet, the apotheosis of the Victorian schoolmaster, Ichabod -Crane, come to life: the sparse, sandy hair brushed carefully across -his bony skull, his long nose trembling with the vehemence of his -argument, his artist's fingers stained with the chemicals which he had -lately been preparing in the school's laboratory, fumbling nervously -with his mauve cravat and peering worriedly over the tops of his -steel-bowed spectacles at our bright and shining faces. - -To Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs every moment of every day was precious. -Those of us who came to know him a little more intimately in the four -years that followed realized that he was not like other teachers. His -teaching was the driving purpose of his life, second only to the keen -and insatiable curiosity which sent his vulturine nose prying into the -intimacies of Nature and ferreting out improbable facts to the greater -glory of botanical science. Now, on our first day at the Academy, -he paced the rostrum like a moulting crane, wholly intent on the -seriousness of his peroration. - -Honeyed persuasion was in his voice, and a note of steel when it was -needed, for by any standards Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs was no mean orator. -Now he made an appeal to our young emotions: - -"How often in one's journeyings is the heart warmed and the spirit -moved by the solicitude shown by even the lowliest of God's thinking -creatures in the care and upbringing of its young! How appalling is -the contrasting lethargy which characterizes the race of the cabbage -and the vegetable marrow! With what wanton abandon does the profligate -thistle scatter its plumed seeds to the four winds, yet with what -loving patience does the gentle hind nurture her fawn and bring it to -maturity. - -"Education, ladies and gentlemen, is not the prerogative of Mankind! -The kitten learns from the wise mouser, its mother, to stalk its -wary prey. The sparrow in its nest is taught to spread its trembling -wings. Even the field mouse learns to know its natural enemies and -to recognize them from afar. It is God's will on Earth that in every -thinking race the parent should instruct its young, the adult impart -the accumulated wisdom of its kind to the immature. Education, ladies -and gentlemen, is the heritage of the animal kingdom--the privilege -which divides us from the leek and the asparagus! I trust that you will -not deny that heritage!" - -Thus Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs, in the days when I first knew him. There -were a few of us who tagged him through the woods and fields, listening -to his painfully erudite disquisitions on matters of botany or zoology, -following his kicking heels and flying coat-tails in wholly undignified -pursuit of some new butterfly or beetle, or laboring home under the -weight of collecting boxes stuffed with mosses and rare ferns. We -learned little enough, I suppose, for I find it hard now to distinguish -a primrose from a cowslip, but we appreciated the very real enthusiasm -which was his, and his sincere desire to learn and to impart what he -had learned. - - * * * * * - -Then, in our turn, we graduated and went our separate ways. I heard -that a maiden aunt in England--some forgotten relative of his -mother's--had died and left Professor Hobbs an income which permitted -him to leave the Academy and open a little greenhouse which was as -much a laboratory as a business enterprise. I wrote him a letter of -congratulation, and from time to time in my wanderings I sent him slips -of rare or beautiful plants which came to my attention. And then, -only a few months before my travels were ended and I came back to -Springville, I happened on the Zulu rose. - -Where it got its name I do not know, for to the best of my knowledge -there are not and never have been Zulus in Madagascar. Probably some -African explorer, a little off his regular course, paid a fleeting -visit to the isle of marvels and bestowed his taxonomic benediction on -everything that came to his attention. In any case, and by any name, -the Zulu rose would be the same anomaly. - -I had gone to Madagascar with some wild idea of finding and dragging -back to civilization the fabled man-eating tree. That I failed was -probably due in part to the fact that it never existed, save in some -retired colonel's fevered imagination. I panted off on the trail of -the Aepyornis and had to be satisfied with a much addled egg, still on -display in the Springville Free Museum and Loan Library. I shot lemurs -and hunted for missing links, for Darwin's "Origin of Species" had been -very much before the undergraduate eye during my college career. All I -found, in the end, was the Zulu rose. - -What first attracted me to the plant was the fact that it was never -twice the same. There was a family likeness--about as much as there is -between me and my brother Charles--but that was as far as it went. No -self-respecting plant behaves like that. - -The first that I saw was in a young lady's hair, and I only noticed in -passing that it was very much like a full-blown rose, with crimson, -satiny petals. The following morning, on my way back to the hotel, I -saw the same rather spectacular blossom in a private garden and was -somewhat puzzled by the fact that it was growing on a stalk very much -like an Easter lily, with long, swordlike leaves in a whorl about its -base. There were several colors on the same bed--reds and creamy whites -and one lot of a striking orange color. - -Then, in the forest, I found the things growing in an entirely -different manner. At least, the crotchety old duffer who was guiding -me swore that they were the same plant, although these were growing -like parasitic orchids on huge mats of threadlike roots. The petals -were more orchid-like, too, and less flamboyantly colored, and I -assumed that this might be an ancestral form from which the cultivated -varieties had been developed. - -All in all, I think I saw some twenty different varieties of Zulu rose -and no two of them were alike. That I did not see the one thing that -was of importance, or even hear of it, can be ascribed only to the -notoriously bad luck of the Abercrombies. I saw Zulu roses that were -like thistles, and others that were like sunflowers. I saw them growing -like water-lilies, like cactus, and like edelweiss. They weren't -common, but wherever they were they seemed to be perfectly adapted to -the environment they were in. Their perfume was really overpowering and -not entirely pleasant, and I noted in passing that there were never any -bees or other insects near them. Unfortunately, while I mentioned the -fact to my old teacher in the letter I sent with cuttings of three or -four of the plant's many varieties, I let it go at that. - -Nearly a year passed before I saw Miss Liberty's torch raised over New -York harbor and watched the friendly hills of the Mohawk Valley closing -in on either side of the train. Springville was just what it had been -fifteen years before--the same rutted streets, the same fly-specked -store windows, the same sleepy horses in front of the Oriskany -House--even the same sparrows quarreling under the eaves of the -Methodist Church. Jim Selford hacked me up from the station--he's Mayor -of Springville now, and proprietor of the garage which he opened with -much misgiving when he was sure that the horse had gone to stay. In the -course of our parade up Main Street he gave me thumbnail sketches of -practically everyone of importance who had been born, died, or come to -fame since I left town. - -I had my first hint that all was not well when we passed the -hole-in-the-wall that had, during my childhood, been a combined -tobacco and sweet shop. It had an already weather-beaten sign over the -door--"HOBBS--FLORIST"--and busy about the front of the shop was a -familiar figure in the normal costume of a respectable upstate female. - -Jim cast a glance over his shoulder at my question. "Her? That's -Abigail Jones; tends for old Hobbs." He spat accurately at the iron -hitching post in front of the First National Bank. - -Now I know Jim Selford. The boys I cronied with had spent a good deal -of their time around his livery stable, and our own yard had backed up -on his. There had been certain disagreements about the uses to which -his pears should be put, if I remember. At any rate, I knew he was -holding something back. - -"How is Professor Hobbs?" I inquired innocently. "I suppose he's one of -the city fathers by now." - - * * * * * - -Jim looked at me with suspicion, but I kept an impassive face. He -uncrossed his legs, crossed them again, picked up the whip and gave the -bay mare a cut across the rump that made her jump. "Geeup!" he answered. - -I recognized the gambit. I must give before I would get. "Has he had -any luck with the plants I sent him from abroad?" I asked. "There were -some very rare ones that you won't find in any of the big botanical -gardens. If he can grow them here, it ought to put Springville on the -map." - -That did it. Jim planted both feet with a clump and twisted the reins -around the whip. He spat his quid into the gutter, dusted off the plug, -and cut a new chaw. Then he turned on me. - -"You're into it too, are you? Might of knowed! If there was ever a -worse show an' hullabaloo than that old fool has raised I never seen -it. If I was the Widder Jones I'd starve afore I'd leave my daughter -tend shop for the kind he is. Batty--that's what's wrong with him! -Crazy as a coot! And dangerous! Them damn flowers! Ptah!" - -Then he closed up like a clam. I got not one word more out of him until -we pulled up in front of my uncle's house, now mine. Then: "Go on up -there," he said. "See for yourself. Giddap!" - -Which, of course, is exactly what I did. Of all my old friends and -cronies, Melchizedek Hobbs was the one to whom I had been closest. -Jeremiah Jones had written me a few times from Chicago, where he was -with some firm of chemists, and I gathered that Sydney Smythe was -enjoying the spoils of aristocracy as cashier of his father's bank, but -I was not anxious to see Sydney. The others had scattered or married -and settled down, and I doubted that they would have much in common -with footloose Jamie Abercrombie, who had too much money for his own -good and had just inherited another slice that he hadn't earned. - -I had dinner and a pipe and then set out along the well-remembered, -maple shaded lane of Spring Street, past the old Sutherland place at -the corner of Eagle, where a scrawny hedge had replaced the old white -picket fence; over the limestone bridge across the Grooterkill, built -by one of the Irish stonecutters who had been brought over to work -on the Erie Canal; past the Jones house with its neat lawn and big -red barn. There was someone on the porch, but I didn't stop. I didn't -cotton much to Abigail, and there would be plenty of time in daylight -to talk to Mrs. Jones. - -Melchizedek Hobbs lived almost at the end of Spring Street, in a -huge, rambling clapboard house that hadn't been painted since before -Gettysburg. The grass, as usual, was rank on the lawn, but the -flower-beds that lined the flagstone walk were pictures of tender care, -and the big new greenhouse in the backyard shone like silver in the -moonlight. - -There was a light out there, so I went through the side yard and -around the house. There was a high wire fence across the yard, with an -iron gate, and the gate was padlocked. I rattled it and hooted. The -light went out in the greenhouse, and a moment later I saw the gaunt, -scarecrow figure of Melchizedek Hobbs stalking toward me. - -He knew me at once, in spite of my handsome, flowing moustache and -weather-beaten complexion, and after fifteen years. Nor had he changed -much himself. He was a bit thinner and he had taken to a pretty obvious -toupee. His nose seemed longer and sharper, and a little redder, and -his clothes were a little shabbier than I remembered them. He was -wearing a butterfly-wing bow-tie instead of the magnificent mauve -cravats that I remembered, and it was on crooked. - - * * * * * - -We went around to the front porch and sat in the summer moonlight, -with the mingled perfume of hundreds of flowers wafted up to us from -his garden, and the moist, rich smell of the Mohawk in the days before -factory wastes and oil tankers turned it into an open sewer. We talked -about old times, and about my adventures in far lands, and the exploits -of others among his favorite pupils, but I could see that he was -uneasy. So, very gradually, I turned the conversation to himself and -his flowers. I told him of my experiences in finding some of the plants -I had sent him, and he went into raptures over the things he had done -with them. And then I asked about the Zulu rose. - -It was like throwing a blanket over a coop of clamoring ducklings. I -knew he was looking at me through the darkness, his long nose quivering -with indecision. I knew that he wanted me to leave, or change the -subject, but I knew that he would never ask me to do so. It was cruel, -perhaps, but I simply sat and waited. - -It seemed a long time before I heard him sigh. "Yes, James. Of course. -You have been told something in the village. It was Jim Selford, I -presume--he would be the one. Well--you have the right to know." - -He got to his feet, and to my amazement began to pall off his coat. He -dropped it at his feet and proceeded further to haul his shirt-tails -out of his high-waisted trousers. Then, with trembling fingers, he -struck a match and held it over his head. - -He had on a kind of smock or cassock that came clear down to his bony -knees. To the waist it was literally patched with little pockets, and -every pocket was stuffed with rich black dirt out of which rose the -leaves and stems of seedling plants in various stages of maturity. Some -were no more than green buttons and some were well leafed out. Some -were flourishing vines, that wound affectionately around his arms and -his scrawny neck, and thrust tender tendrils down inside his celluloid -collar. - -If that was the way he went about, no wonder the town thought he was -crazy! - -He said nothing. He went down the steps and around through the yard to -the greenhouse, and I followed. He unlocked the door and opened it, and -I was stifled by a blast of tropical heat and fragrance that sent me -winging back to Madagascar and the girl in the hotel. - -He stalked down the long aisle of the greenhouse, and I was right at -his heels. He lighted lamp after lamp, and as the place filled with -light my jaw began to drop, until I must have looked like a candidate -for the booby-hatch myself. It was incredible! - -The place was full of Zulu roses of every size and description. There -were thousands of them--all different--and they filled the greenhouse -with a riot of fragrance and rich color that made my head spin. Then I -saw something that sent cold fingers diddling along my spine, for as -Melchizedek Hobbs walked down the aisle between the banks of plants -their gaudy blossoms turned on their stems to follow him, their leaves -and stalks stretched out to touch him, and a soft, expectant rustle -went up from thousands of straining fibres. - -He stopped at a second closed door. "These are the breeding beds and -nurseries," he told me. "You are, of course, aware that reproduction -in the Zulu rose is bi-sexual and that it does not take place until -maturity. There were no male plants among those you sent me, but we -have a number of them now." - -He opened the door. The greenhouse was L-shaped, and we stepped into -a kind of vestibule at the angle. A new perfume flooded into my lungs. -I felt my heart pounding, the blood rushing through my veins. I sucked -the infernal stuff into my lungs and knew that I was breathing faster, -my nostrils dilated, my eyes bright. I remembered a neat pair of ankles -I had glimpsed from the cab on Fifth Avenue. I remembered the curve of -a dark cheek--the quirk of a pair of soft red lips--the sidelong glance -of black eyes. The stuff was an aphrodisiac of the most violent sort, -and I saw the color come to Melchizedek Hobbs' pale cheeks and his nose -twitching with emotion. He reached up and patted his toupee into place. - -He pointed. The plants were growing in pairs, male and female, and -their shameless behavior made me gasp. It was outrageous! It was -incredible! It was against Nature! - -Such abandoned love-making I have never seen in man, beast or bird, -let alone a vegetable--and I have seen more than most. The twining -stems--the caressing leaves--the squirming, kissing blossoms: I -was staring like a silly girl. It was all in the most sensuous of -slow-motion, for the things could move as they pleased, or very -nearly so. It was like an underwater ballet, completely shameless and -completely animal, and I wondered whether any of the town fathers had -seen it. If they had, I suspected, Melchizedek Hobbs wouldn't be going -about as he was. He'd be in jail, or riding down the turnpike on a rail -with a coat of tar and feathers. - - * * * * * - -The old duffer cleared his throat with a mournful sort of cough. I -suspected that he was completely embarrassed. "You see?" he said -plaintively. "These creatures are very near the animal in many -respects, although they are botanically true plants. They have many -traits which I had never thought to find in the vegetable kingdom. You -may remember my remarks on that subject, from your school days." - -He stared long and gloomily at the rioting blossoms, then cleared his -throat nervously. "Eh, yes. These are my young adults, just at the -mating age. They are grown in the outer beds, which you have just seen, -and brought here when the female begins to mature. The--ah--pollination -takes place, as you see, with much demonstrative display on the part of -both sexes. I find it closely akin to the nuptial display of certain -pheasants, although there are other aspects--but no more of that. The -plants are long-lived, and they will enjoy a--ah--happy wedded life -for some weeks, until the young plants begin to bud. Then the male -is ignored, his--ah--wooing reflexes degenerate, and he withers away -within a night." - -He made his way between the beds of oblivious lovers. They were too -intent on the business of life to sense that he was there. He opened -still another door. - -I heard the rustle of leaves as we stepped inside. It was -hostile--alarmed--like the buzz of a rattler's tail among dead -leaves. He lit the lamp, and I saw that every flower-face in the -place was turned toward us. I saw more: their leaves were hugged -up like shielding arms, wrapped around their stalks just below -the great blooms. There was something alive under those clinging -leaves--something small that moved. - -Melchizedek Hobbs had taken up a watering can and an artist's palette -with little cups of chemicals instead of paint. He went down the aisle, -moistening the soil around one plant, stroking another's trembling -leaves, feeding a third with lime or potash or some other stuff from -the palette. Gradually their leaves unfolded and I saw the little new -plants budding from their mothers' stems, just above the highest whorl -of leaves. The shape the things took seemed to depend on the kind of -soil they were in, but the young plants were all alike, tiny and green -and shapeless, much like the embryo of any animal. - -Professor Hobbs came back and set down his watering can and palette. -His pale eyes were pleading with me to understand. He looked like some -medieval sorcerer in his long black robe with its scores of little -pockets stuffed with growing plants. - -"They are very like animals," he repeated morosely. "The female -of the species is quite essential to the normal upbringing of the -young. It is not so much a question of nourishment, especially after -the young plants have fallen off and taken root, but there is a -strong--_rapport_, your French friends would say--between the parent -plant and her offspring. Affection, almost. I am convinced that she -teaches them the things that they must know to live in the environment -in which they find themselves." His eyes were beginning to gleam. "It -is very interesting! Very! I have placed young plants in entirely -different soil, fed them entirely different salts, yet so long as they -are near their mother they will endeavor to take her form. I have -brought stranger-young to a bearing female and placed them among her -brood, and they become like her. These--", he touched the tiny plants -in his pockets tenderly--"these are orphans which no other plant would -adopt. I have had to do so myself." - -My head went around like a teetotum. The whole thing was a nightmare! -Certainly I had never suspected what would follow my innocent gift -of the beautiful flowers which had attracted me so in Madagascar. No -wonder the town thought him mad! - - * * * * * - -We went back through the long greenhouse, and again I saw stems and -blossoms twist and sway to greet him. He touched one gorgeous purple -bloom and it stiffened under his hand like a cat, but with the slow, -painful motion of something which has no right to move. - -[Illustration: _He touched one gorgeous blossom and it stiffened under -his hand like a cat!_] - -"These are all my children," he said softly. "My first-born." He -glanced at me apologetically and his face was flushed. "I must appear -odd," he said. "You see, as I have told you, there were no male plants -in the bundle which you sent me, and consequently, although it was not -difficult to bring them to maturity, pollination of the female flowers -was impossible. As soon as I understood a little of their morphology -and metabolism I realized that they must be artificially fertilized -if the strain was to continue. Lacking the male element, it was -necessary for me to devise some mixture of chemicals which would serve -as a substitute. Needless to say, I was successful, and these lovely -creatures are the result. - -"The methods of insemination which I was forced to employ were drastic -in the extreme, I am afraid, but it will never again be necessary to -make use of them. We have a fine new generation of young plants growing -up and maturing, ready to mate and bring forth their own kind as you -have seen. Many of the parent plants, alas, failed to survive. Some of -the young died, too, but these you see here I brought up myself, with -the aid of one strong plant which did endure my treatment. She is still -alive, and these--the children of my science--the young whom I fed -through infancy and taught as I once taught you, James--they look to me -as to a father. They love me, James. They--and she--and no one else. It -has been lonely." - -We went back to the house. The cloying perfume of the weird plants -still clung to us, and I could see the tendrils of the little "orphans" -creeping and writhing over his cassock. - -We went inside. It was as I remembered it, fifteen years before--not a -picture or stick of furniture had changed. But there was one addition. -On the taboret beside his chair, at the left of the great tiled -fireplace, was a squat black urn, and in it--the plant. - -I realized, of course, that this was the one remaining plant of those -I had sent him--the veteran of his experiment--the "she" of whom he -spoke. It was showing signs of age. Its waxen leaves were splotched -and greyish. Its silky crimson petals, deepening to scarlet at the -heart, were faded. Not until he sank down in the old Morris chair and -stretched his long legs out toward the hearth did it respond and bend -down toward him. - -He cradled the great blossom for a moment in his palm, and let his -fingers slip lovingly down its slender stem. I saw its withered leaves -tremble at his touch, and smelled the faint perfume that rose from it. - -"She is growing old, James," he said wistfully. "She is sick and -old, and I am all she has. She is very like me, in many ways, and -her company has been good for me, but some day soon I must kill her, -quickly and painlessly, before disease cripples her any further. It -will be the kind thing to do." - -I was all wound up inside. They were right in the town--this was mad, -abnormal, unhealthy--but he had every reason to be as he was. A man -wholly wrapped up in his science, lonely and misunderstood, suddenly -confronted by these exotic, almost animal blossoms: no wonder his -curiosity and imagination had been aroused--no wonder solicitude had -become something like affection. And in their turn, I realized, these -strange plant-animals had learned to look to him for the things which -Nature, in this environment, did not provide. They were amazingly -quick to adapt: I had known that from the first. So it was that when -he fertilized them, taking the place of the missing males, the female -flowers accepted him and gave him the weird affection which Nature -stored up in them for their normal mates. - -That affection, in Nature, assured the species of continued life. -It was a blind mechanism, designed by evolution to defy drought and -disease and famine. Nature has implanted it very strongly in most -animals, but rarely in plants. The female plants looked on him as a -mate; the young buds, in their turn, found in him a parent. Oh, it was -all very simple to explain in terms of biology and psychology--except -to thick-headed, well-meaning village folk of the kind that live in -Springville, N.Y. They thought him crazy now, but they would think -worse than that if I ever breathed a word of the truth in his defense. - -There isn't much more, as it happens. What it was--a hunch--some flash -of intuition--maybe the common sense I am supposed to have inherited -from my Scots ancestors, and which has made Charles the figure he is on -Wall Street--I don't know. I may have remembered the toupee and the bow -tie and a word dropped here and there, and put a few numbers together. -But next morning early I went down to Melchizedek Hobbs' little flower -shop on Main Street to see Abigail Jones. - - * * * * * - -Abigail's brother had been my best friend in school, and is today, -but she and I had never hit it off. She was a good twelve years older -than either of us, and she was the perfect figure of the soured, -dessicatedly righteous virgin whom we characterize by the tag, "old -maid". - -The shop showed plainly the care she devoted to it. Everything was -immaculate--painfully so--and the potted plants were trim and crisp, -the cut flowers fairly sparkling. I wondered where they came from, -for there had been nothing but the Zulu roses in Melchizedek Hobbs' -greenhouse, and then I remembered that the Jones family had had fine -greenhouses of their own when I was a boy. That was when two and two -made four, and I finally made up my mind. - -I told her plainly, in so many words, what the trouble was. I took -due blame on myself (and I am sure she has never forgiven me) and did -my best to point out in a calm, rational, scientific manner that what -had happened was the result of purely natural causes operating in a -perfectly logical way. Her face never unfroze, her eyes never as much -as glinted, and I don't know to this day whether she did what she did -because she wanted to or because she thought it was her Christian duty. - -As I say, she heard me out without turning a hair. It was only when -a sudden flash of inspiration came to me at the very end, as I was -halfway out the door, that I thought I saw a bit of a twist on her prim -lips. I remembered then that my uncle had had a very fine, large bull, -and I told her so. - -What happened that night, was in a sense, tragic. The bull got loose, -as it had done before. It rooted and rampaged down the length of Spring -Street, breaking through the Sutherland's new hedge, plowing up the -Pitkins' dahlia beds, scaring a grey mare and spilling out two spooners -in a buggy, chasing Constable Nate Williams up a lamp-post, and topping -off the evening by raging through Melchizedek Hobbs' greenhouse from -end to end. By the time a posse had ramped through after it, and been -chased by it, and hosts of small boys and frantic dogs had followed -them and fled before them, the species Zulu rose was extinct in the -Western Hemisphere. - -I say extinct. Melchizedek Hobbs had come out in his crazy smock to -drive the beast off, and it treed him. It tore the robe off him and -trampled it to ruin. I know, for I was the one who got him down out of -the tree when they had cornered the bull. - -The old plant was left, and I have always had to give credit to -Abigail, much as I sometimes dislike her, because she let him keep it -after they were married, up to the point where it began to shed on her -rugs. No woman could do more. He killed it then, quietly. And to this -day, though Melchizedek Hobbs still potters around the greenhouses and -sits in the back of the new store when Abigail will let him, he has -never so much as mentioned the Zulu rose nor his ill-fated attempt to -teach young plants the facts of life. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FACTS OF LIFE *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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Schuyler Miller</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Facts of Life</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: P. Schuyler Miller</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 20, 2021 [eBook #64880]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FACTS OF LIFE ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>The FACTS of LIFE</h1> - -<h2>by P. SCHUYLER MILLER</h2> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Comet May 41.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"The ability to profit by past experience and to use this knowledge as -a guide to future action may, ladies and gentlemen, be taken as the -primary differentiation between the animal and the vegetable kingdoms."</p> - -<p>Thus Professor Melchizedek Hobbs, principal of the Springville Free -Academy, on the day long-gone when I began my higher education. I can -see him yet, the apotheosis of the Victorian schoolmaster, Ichabod -Crane, come to life: the sparse, sandy hair brushed carefully across -his bony skull, his long nose trembling with the vehemence of his -argument, his artist's fingers stained with the chemicals which he had -lately been preparing in the school's laboratory, fumbling nervously -with his mauve cravat and peering worriedly over the tops of his -steel-bowed spectacles at our bright and shining faces.</p> - -<p>To Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs every moment of every day was precious. -Those of us who came to know him a little more intimately in the four -years that followed realized that he was not like other teachers. His -teaching was the driving purpose of his life, second only to the keen -and insatiable curiosity which sent his vulturine nose prying into the -intimacies of Nature and ferreting out improbable facts to the greater -glory of botanical science. Now, on our first day at the Academy, -he paced the rostrum like a moulting crane, wholly intent on the -seriousness of his peroration.</p> - -<p>Honeyed persuasion was in his voice, and a note of steel when it was -needed, for by any standards Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs was no mean orator. -Now he made an appeal to our young emotions:</p> - -<p>"How often in one's journeyings is the heart warmed and the spirit -moved by the solicitude shown by even the lowliest of God's thinking -creatures in the care and upbringing of its young! How appalling is -the contrasting lethargy which characterizes the race of the cabbage -and the vegetable marrow! With what wanton abandon does the profligate -thistle scatter its plumed seeds to the four winds, yet with what -loving patience does the gentle hind nurture her fawn and bring it to -maturity.</p> - -<p>"Education, ladies and gentlemen, is not the prerogative of Mankind! -The kitten learns from the wise mouser, its mother, to stalk its -wary prey. The sparrow in its nest is taught to spread its trembling -wings. Even the field mouse learns to know its natural enemies and -to recognize them from afar. It is God's will on Earth that in every -thinking race the parent should instruct its young, the adult impart -the accumulated wisdom of its kind to the immature. Education, ladies -and gentlemen, is the heritage of the animal kingdom—the privilege -which divides us from the leek and the asparagus! I trust that you will -not deny that heritage!"</p> - -<p>Thus Mr. Melchizedek Hobbs, in the days when I first knew him. There -were a few of us who tagged him through the woods and fields, listening -to his painfully erudite disquisitions on matters of botany or zoology, -following his kicking heels and flying coat-tails in wholly undignified -pursuit of some new butterfly or beetle, or laboring home under the -weight of collecting boxes stuffed with mosses and rare ferns. We -learned little enough, I suppose, for I find it hard now to distinguish -a primrose from a cowslip, but we appreciated the very real enthusiasm -which was his, and his sincere desire to learn and to impart what he -had learned.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Then, in our turn, we graduated and went our separate ways. I heard -that a maiden aunt in England—some forgotten relative of his -mother's—had died and left Professor Hobbs an income which permitted -him to leave the Academy and open a little greenhouse which was as -much a laboratory as a business enterprise. I wrote him a letter of -congratulation, and from time to time in my wanderings I sent him slips -of rare or beautiful plants which came to my attention. And then, -only a few months before my travels were ended and I came back to -Springville, I happened on the Zulu rose.</p> - -<p>Where it got its name I do not know, for to the best of my knowledge -there are not and never have been Zulus in Madagascar. Probably some -African explorer, a little off his regular course, paid a fleeting -visit to the isle of marvels and bestowed his taxonomic benediction on -everything that came to his attention. In any case, and by any name, -the Zulu rose would be the same anomaly.</p> - -<p>I had gone to Madagascar with some wild idea of finding and dragging -back to civilization the fabled man-eating tree. That I failed was -probably due in part to the fact that it never existed, save in some -retired colonel's fevered imagination. I panted off on the trail of -the Aepyornis and had to be satisfied with a much addled egg, still on -display in the Springville Free Museum and Loan Library. I shot lemurs -and hunted for missing links, for Darwin's "Origin of Species" had been -very much before the undergraduate eye during my college career. All I -found, in the end, was the Zulu rose.</p> - -<p>What first attracted me to the plant was the fact that it was never -twice the same. There was a family likeness—about as much as there is -between me and my brother Charles—but that was as far as it went. No -self-respecting plant behaves like that.</p> - -<p>The first that I saw was in a young lady's hair, and I only noticed in -passing that it was very much like a full-blown rose, with crimson, -satiny petals. The following morning, on my way back to the hotel, I -saw the same rather spectacular blossom in a private garden and was -somewhat puzzled by the fact that it was growing on a stalk very much -like an Easter lily, with long, swordlike leaves in a whorl about its -base. There were several colors on the same bed—reds and creamy whites -and one lot of a striking orange color.</p> - -<p>Then, in the forest, I found the things growing in an entirely -different manner. At least, the crotchety old duffer who was guiding -me swore that they were the same plant, although these were growing -like parasitic orchids on huge mats of threadlike roots. The petals -were more orchid-like, too, and less flamboyantly colored, and I -assumed that this might be an ancestral form from which the cultivated -varieties had been developed.</p> - -<p>All in all, I think I saw some twenty different varieties of Zulu rose -and no two of them were alike. That I did not see the one thing that -was of importance, or even hear of it, can be ascribed only to the -notoriously bad luck of the Abercrombies. I saw Zulu roses that were -like thistles, and others that were like sunflowers. I saw them growing -like water-lilies, like cactus, and like edelweiss. They weren't -common, but wherever they were they seemed to be perfectly adapted to -the environment they were in. Their perfume was really overpowering and -not entirely pleasant, and I noted in passing that there were never any -bees or other insects near them. Unfortunately, while I mentioned the -fact to my old teacher in the letter I sent with cuttings of three or -four of the plant's many varieties, I let it go at that.</p> - -<p>Nearly a year passed before I saw Miss Liberty's torch raised over New -York harbor and watched the friendly hills of the Mohawk Valley closing -in on either side of the train. Springville was just what it had been -fifteen years before—the same rutted streets, the same fly-specked -store windows, the same sleepy horses in front of the Oriskany -House—even the same sparrows quarreling under the eaves of the -Methodist Church. Jim Selford hacked me up from the station—he's Mayor -of Springville now, and proprietor of the garage which he opened with -much misgiving when he was sure that the horse had gone to stay. In the -course of our parade up Main Street he gave me thumbnail sketches of -practically everyone of importance who had been born, died, or come to -fame since I left town.</p> - -<p>I had my first hint that all was not well when we passed the -hole-in-the-wall that had, during my childhood, been a combined -tobacco and sweet shop. It had an already weather-beaten sign over the -door—"HOBBS—FLORIST"—and busy about the front of the shop was a -familiar figure in the normal costume of a respectable upstate female.</p> - -<p>Jim cast a glance over his shoulder at my question. "Her? That's -Abigail Jones; tends for old Hobbs." He spat accurately at the iron -hitching post in front of the First National Bank.</p> - -<p>Now I know Jim Selford. The boys I cronied with had spent a good deal -of their time around his livery stable, and our own yard had backed up -on his. There had been certain disagreements about the uses to which -his pears should be put, if I remember. At any rate, I knew he was -holding something back.</p> - -<p>"How is Professor Hobbs?" I inquired innocently. "I suppose he's one of -the city fathers by now."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Jim looked at me with suspicion, but I kept an impassive face. He -uncrossed his legs, crossed them again, picked up the whip and gave the -bay mare a cut across the rump that made her jump. "Geeup!" he answered.</p> - -<p>I recognized the gambit. I must give before I would get. "Has he had -any luck with the plants I sent him from abroad?" I asked. "There were -some very rare ones that you won't find in any of the big botanical -gardens. If he can grow them here, it ought to put Springville on the -map."</p> - -<p>That did it. Jim planted both feet with a clump and twisted the reins -around the whip. He spat his quid into the gutter, dusted off the plug, -and cut a new chaw. Then he turned on me.</p> - -<p>"You're into it too, are you? Might of knowed! If there was ever a -worse show an' hullabaloo than that old fool has raised I never seen -it. If I was the Widder Jones I'd starve afore I'd leave my daughter -tend shop for the kind he is. Batty—that's what's wrong with him! -Crazy as a coot! And dangerous! Them damn flowers! Ptah!"</p> - -<p>Then he closed up like a clam. I got not one word more out of him until -we pulled up in front of my uncle's house, now mine. Then: "Go on up -there," he said. "See for yourself. Giddap!"</p> - -<p>Which, of course, is exactly what I did. Of all my old friends and -cronies, Melchizedek Hobbs was the one to whom I had been closest. -Jeremiah Jones had written me a few times from Chicago, where he was -with some firm of chemists, and I gathered that Sydney Smythe was -enjoying the spoils of aristocracy as cashier of his father's bank, but -I was not anxious to see Sydney. The others had scattered or married -and settled down, and I doubted that they would have much in common -with footloose Jamie Abercrombie, who had too much money for his own -good and had just inherited another slice that he hadn't earned.</p> - -<p>I had dinner and a pipe and then set out along the well-remembered, -maple shaded lane of Spring Street, past the old Sutherland place at -the corner of Eagle, where a scrawny hedge had replaced the old white -picket fence; over the limestone bridge across the Grooterkill, built -by one of the Irish stonecutters who had been brought over to work -on the Erie Canal; past the Jones house with its neat lawn and big -red barn. There was someone on the porch, but I didn't stop. I didn't -cotton much to Abigail, and there would be plenty of time in daylight -to talk to Mrs. Jones.</p> - -<p>Melchizedek Hobbs lived almost at the end of Spring Street, in a -huge, rambling clapboard house that hadn't been painted since before -Gettysburg. The grass, as usual, was rank on the lawn, but the -flower-beds that lined the flagstone walk were pictures of tender care, -and the big new greenhouse in the backyard shone like silver in the -moonlight.</p> - -<p>There was a light out there, so I went through the side yard and -around the house. There was a high wire fence across the yard, with an -iron gate, and the gate was padlocked. I rattled it and hooted. The -light went out in the greenhouse, and a moment later I saw the gaunt, -scarecrow figure of Melchizedek Hobbs stalking toward me.</p> - -<p>He knew me at once, in spite of my handsome, flowing moustache and -weather-beaten complexion, and after fifteen years. Nor had he changed -much himself. He was a bit thinner and he had taken to a pretty obvious -toupee. His nose seemed longer and sharper, and a little redder, and -his clothes were a little shabbier than I remembered them. He was -wearing a butterfly-wing bow-tie instead of the magnificent mauve -cravats that I remembered, and it was on crooked.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>We went around to the front porch and sat in the summer moonlight, -with the mingled perfume of hundreds of flowers wafted up to us from -his garden, and the moist, rich smell of the Mohawk in the days before -factory wastes and oil tankers turned it into an open sewer. We talked -about old times, and about my adventures in far lands, and the exploits -of others among his favorite pupils, but I could see that he was -uneasy. So, very gradually, I turned the conversation to himself and -his flowers. I told him of my experiences in finding some of the plants -I had sent him, and he went into raptures over the things he had done -with them. And then I asked about the Zulu rose.</p> - -<p>It was like throwing a blanket over a coop of clamoring ducklings. I -knew he was looking at me through the darkness, his long nose quivering -with indecision. I knew that he wanted me to leave, or change the -subject, but I knew that he would never ask me to do so. It was cruel, -perhaps, but I simply sat and waited.</p> - -<p>It seemed a long time before I heard him sigh. "Yes, James. Of course. -You have been told something in the village. It was Jim Selford, I -presume—he would be the one. Well—you have the right to know."</p> - -<p>He got to his feet, and to my amazement began to pall off his coat. He -dropped it at his feet and proceeded further to haul his shirt-tails -out of his high-waisted trousers. Then, with trembling fingers, he -struck a match and held it over his head.</p> - -<p>He had on a kind of smock or cassock that came clear down to his bony -knees. To the waist it was literally patched with little pockets, and -every pocket was stuffed with rich black dirt out of which rose the -leaves and stems of seedling plants in various stages of maturity. Some -were no more than green buttons and some were well leafed out. Some -were flourishing vines, that wound affectionately around his arms and -his scrawny neck, and thrust tender tendrils down inside his celluloid -collar.</p> - -<p>If that was the way he went about, no wonder the town thought he was -crazy!</p> - -<p>He said nothing. He went down the steps and around through the yard to -the greenhouse, and I followed. He unlocked the door and opened it, and -I was stifled by a blast of tropical heat and fragrance that sent me -winging back to Madagascar and the girl in the hotel.</p> - -<p>He stalked down the long aisle of the greenhouse, and I was right at -his heels. He lighted lamp after lamp, and as the place filled with -light my jaw began to drop, until I must have looked like a candidate -for the booby-hatch myself. It was incredible!</p> - -<p>The place was full of Zulu roses of every size and description. There -were thousands of them—all different—and they filled the greenhouse -with a riot of fragrance and rich color that made my head spin. Then I -saw something that sent cold fingers diddling along my spine, for as -Melchizedek Hobbs walked down the aisle between the banks of plants -their gaudy blossoms turned on their stems to follow him, their leaves -and stalks stretched out to touch him, and a soft, expectant rustle -went up from thousands of straining fibres.</p> - -<p>He stopped at a second closed door. "These are the breeding beds and -nurseries," he told me. "You are, of course, aware that reproduction -in the Zulu rose is bi-sexual and that it does not take place until -maturity. There were no male plants among those you sent me, but we -have a number of them now."</p> - -<p>He opened the door. The greenhouse was L-shaped, and we stepped into -a kind of vestibule at the angle. A new perfume flooded into my lungs. -I felt my heart pounding, the blood rushing through my veins. I sucked -the infernal stuff into my lungs and knew that I was breathing faster, -my nostrils dilated, my eyes bright. I remembered a neat pair of ankles -I had glimpsed from the cab on Fifth Avenue. I remembered the curve of -a dark cheek—the quirk of a pair of soft red lips—the sidelong glance -of black eyes. The stuff was an aphrodisiac of the most violent sort, -and I saw the color come to Melchizedek Hobbs' pale cheeks and his nose -twitching with emotion. He reached up and patted his toupee into place.</p> - -<p>He pointed. The plants were growing in pairs, male and female, and -their shameless behavior made me gasp. It was outrageous! It was -incredible! It was against Nature!</p> - -<p>Such abandoned love-making I have never seen in man, beast or bird, -let alone a vegetable—and I have seen more than most. The twining -stems—the caressing leaves—the squirming, kissing blossoms: I -was staring like a silly girl. It was all in the most sensuous of -slow-motion, for the things could move as they pleased, or very -nearly so. It was like an underwater ballet, completely shameless and -completely animal, and I wondered whether any of the town fathers had -seen it. If they had, I suspected, Melchizedek Hobbs wouldn't be going -about as he was. He'd be in jail, or riding down the turnpike on a rail -with a coat of tar and feathers.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The old duffer cleared his throat with a mournful sort of cough. I -suspected that he was completely embarrassed. "You see?" he said -plaintively. "These creatures are very near the animal in many -respects, although they are botanically true plants. They have many -traits which I had never thought to find in the vegetable kingdom. You -may remember my remarks on that subject, from your school days."</p> - -<p>He stared long and gloomily at the rioting blossoms, then cleared his -throat nervously. "Eh, yes. These are my young adults, just at the -mating age. They are grown in the outer beds, which you have just seen, -and brought here when the female begins to mature. The—ah—pollination -takes place, as you see, with much demonstrative display on the part of -both sexes. I find it closely akin to the nuptial display of certain -pheasants, although there are other aspects—but no more of that. The -plants are long-lived, and they will enjoy a—ah—happy wedded life -for some weeks, until the young plants begin to bud. Then the male -is ignored, his—ah—wooing reflexes degenerate, and he withers away -within a night."</p> - -<p>He made his way between the beds of oblivious lovers. They were too -intent on the business of life to sense that he was there. He opened -still another door.</p> - -<p>I heard the rustle of leaves as we stepped inside. It was -hostile—alarmed—like the buzz of a rattler's tail among dead -leaves. He lit the lamp, and I saw that every flower-face in the -place was turned toward us. I saw more: their leaves were hugged -up like shielding arms, wrapped around their stalks just below -the great blooms. There was something alive under those clinging -leaves—something small that moved.</p> - -<p>Melchizedek Hobbs had taken up a watering can and an artist's palette -with little cups of chemicals instead of paint. He went down the aisle, -moistening the soil around one plant, stroking another's trembling -leaves, feeding a third with lime or potash or some other stuff from -the palette. Gradually their leaves unfolded and I saw the little new -plants budding from their mothers' stems, just above the highest whorl -of leaves. The shape the things took seemed to depend on the kind of -soil they were in, but the young plants were all alike, tiny and green -and shapeless, much like the embryo of any animal.</p> - -<p>Professor Hobbs came back and set down his watering can and palette. -His pale eyes were pleading with me to understand. He looked like some -medieval sorcerer in his long black robe with its scores of little -pockets stuffed with growing plants.</p> - -<p>"They are very like animals," he repeated morosely. "The female -of the species is quite essential to the normal upbringing of the -young. It is not so much a question of nourishment, especially after -the young plants have fallen off and taken root, but there is a -strong—<i>rapport</i>, your French friends would say—between the parent -plant and her offspring. Affection, almost. I am convinced that she -teaches them the things that they must know to live in the environment -in which they find themselves." His eyes were beginning to gleam. "It -is very interesting! Very! I have placed young plants in entirely -different soil, fed them entirely different salts, yet so long as they -are near their mother they will endeavor to take her form. I have -brought stranger-young to a bearing female and placed them among her -brood, and they become like her. These—", he touched the tiny plants -in his pockets tenderly—"these are orphans which no other plant would -adopt. I have had to do so myself."</p> - -<p>My head went around like a teetotum. The whole thing was a nightmare! -Certainly I had never suspected what would follow my innocent gift -of the beautiful flowers which had attracted me so in Madagascar. No -wonder the town thought him mad!</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>We went back through the long greenhouse, and again I saw stems and -blossoms twist and sway to greet him. He touched one gorgeous purple -bloom and it stiffened under his hand like a cat, but with the slow, -painful motion of something which has no right to move.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> - <div class="caption"> - <p><i>He touched one gorgeous blossom and it stiffened under his hand like a cat!</i>]</p> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"These are all my children," he said softly. "My first-born." He -glanced at me apologetically and his face was flushed. "I must appear -odd," he said. "You see, as I have told you, there were no male plants -in the bundle which you sent me, and consequently, although it was not -difficult to bring them to maturity, pollination of the female flowers -was impossible. As soon as I understood a little of their morphology -and metabolism I realized that they must be artificially fertilized -if the strain was to continue. Lacking the male element, it was -necessary for me to devise some mixture of chemicals which would serve -as a substitute. Needless to say, I was successful, and these lovely -creatures are the result.</p> - -<p>"The methods of insemination which I was forced to employ were drastic -in the extreme, I am afraid, but it will never again be necessary to -make use of them. We have a fine new generation of young plants growing -up and maturing, ready to mate and bring forth their own kind as you -have seen. Many of the parent plants, alas, failed to survive. Some of -the young died, too, but these you see here I brought up myself, with -the aid of one strong plant which did endure my treatment. She is still -alive, and these—the children of my science—the young whom I fed -through infancy and taught as I once taught you, James—they look to me -as to a father. They love me, James. They—and she—and no one else. It -has been lonely."</p> - -<p>We went back to the house. The cloying perfume of the weird plants -still clung to us, and I could see the tendrils of the little "orphans" -creeping and writhing over his cassock.</p> - -<p>We went inside. It was as I remembered it, fifteen years before—not a -picture or stick of furniture had changed. But there was one addition. -On the taboret beside his chair, at the left of the great tiled -fireplace, was a squat black urn, and in it—the plant.</p> - -<p>I realized, of course, that this was the one remaining plant of those -I had sent him—the veteran of his experiment—the "she" of whom he -spoke. It was showing signs of age. Its waxen leaves were splotched -and greyish. Its silky crimson petals, deepening to scarlet at the -heart, were faded. Not until he sank down in the old Morris chair and -stretched his long legs out toward the hearth did it respond and bend -down toward him.</p> - -<p>He cradled the great blossom for a moment in his palm, and let his -fingers slip lovingly down its slender stem. I saw its withered leaves -tremble at his touch, and smelled the faint perfume that rose from it.</p> - -<p>"She is growing old, James," he said wistfully. "She is sick and -old, and I am all she has. She is very like me, in many ways, and -her company has been good for me, but some day soon I must kill her, -quickly and painlessly, before disease cripples her any further. It -will be the kind thing to do."</p> - -<p>I was all wound up inside. They were right in the town—this was mad, -abnormal, unhealthy—but he had every reason to be as he was. A man -wholly wrapped up in his science, lonely and misunderstood, suddenly -confronted by these exotic, almost animal blossoms: no wonder his -curiosity and imagination had been aroused—no wonder solicitude had -become something like affection. And in their turn, I realized, these -strange plant-animals had learned to look to him for the things which -Nature, in this environment, did not provide. They were amazingly -quick to adapt: I had known that from the first. So it was that when -he fertilized them, taking the place of the missing males, the female -flowers accepted him and gave him the weird affection which Nature -stored up in them for their normal mates.</p> - -<p>That affection, in Nature, assured the species of continued life. -It was a blind mechanism, designed by evolution to defy drought and -disease and famine. Nature has implanted it very strongly in most -animals, but rarely in plants. The female plants looked on him as a -mate; the young buds, in their turn, found in him a parent. Oh, it was -all very simple to explain in terms of biology and psychology—except -to thick-headed, well-meaning village folk of the kind that live in -Springville, N.Y. They thought him crazy now, but they would think -worse than that if I ever breathed a word of the truth in his defense.</p> - -<p>There isn't much more, as it happens. What it was—a hunch—some flash -of intuition—maybe the common sense I am supposed to have inherited -from my Scots ancestors, and which has made Charles the figure he is on -Wall Street—I don't know. I may have remembered the toupee and the bow -tie and a word dropped here and there, and put a few numbers together. -But next morning early I went down to Melchizedek Hobbs' little flower -shop on Main Street to see Abigail Jones.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Abigail's brother had been my best friend in school, and is today, -but she and I had never hit it off. She was a good twelve years older -than either of us, and she was the perfect figure of the soured, -dessicatedly righteous virgin whom we characterize by the tag, "old -maid".</p> - -<p>The shop showed plainly the care she devoted to it. Everything was -immaculate—painfully so—and the potted plants were trim and crisp, -the cut flowers fairly sparkling. I wondered where they came from, -for there had been nothing but the Zulu roses in Melchizedek Hobbs' -greenhouse, and then I remembered that the Jones family had had fine -greenhouses of their own when I was a boy. That was when two and two -made four, and I finally made up my mind.</p> - -<p>I told her plainly, in so many words, what the trouble was. I took -due blame on myself (and I am sure she has never forgiven me) and did -my best to point out in a calm, rational, scientific manner that what -had happened was the result of purely natural causes operating in a -perfectly logical way. Her face never unfroze, her eyes never as much -as glinted, and I don't know to this day whether she did what she did -because she wanted to or because she thought it was her Christian duty.</p> - -<p>As I say, she heard me out without turning a hair. It was only when -a sudden flash of inspiration came to me at the very end, as I was -halfway out the door, that I thought I saw a bit of a twist on her prim -lips. I remembered then that my uncle had had a very fine, large bull, -and I told her so.</p> - -<p>What happened that night, was in a sense, tragic. The bull got loose, -as it had done before. It rooted and rampaged down the length of Spring -Street, breaking through the Sutherland's new hedge, plowing up the -Pitkins' dahlia beds, scaring a grey mare and spilling out two spooners -in a buggy, chasing Constable Nate Williams up a lamp-post, and topping -off the evening by raging through Melchizedek Hobbs' greenhouse from -end to end. By the time a posse had ramped through after it, and been -chased by it, and hosts of small boys and frantic dogs had followed -them and fled before them, the species Zulu rose was extinct in the -Western Hemisphere.</p> - -<p>I say extinct. Melchizedek Hobbs had come out in his crazy smock to -drive the beast off, and it treed him. It tore the robe off him and -trampled it to ruin. I know, for I was the one who got him down out of -the tree when they had cornered the bull.</p> - -<p>The old plant was left, and I have always had to give credit to -Abigail, much as I sometimes dislike her, because she let him keep it -after they were married, up to the point where it began to shed on her -rugs. No woman could do more. He killed it then, quietly. And to this -day, though Melchizedek Hobbs still potters around the greenhouses and -sits in the back of the new store when Abigail will let him, he has -never so much as mentioned the Zulu rose nor his ill-fated attempt to -teach young plants the facts of life.</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FACTS OF LIFE ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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