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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #64602 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64602)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Runaway, by Alfred Coppel
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Runaway
-
-Author: Alfred Coppel
-
-Release Date: February 20, 2021 [eBook #64602]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RUNAWAY ***
-
-
-
-
- RUNAWAY
-
- By ALFRED COPPEL, JR.
-
- Ripped by an asteroid stray, the space-ship
- drifted helplessly ... until suddenly, across the
- shuddering deeps, a strange voice called to her.
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Planet Stories Spring 1949.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-I recall that when I was just a boy hanging around the old Mojave space
-yards, there was an old timer there who used to sing an old song. He
-learned it from his father and he from his grandfather who used to
-prospect for gold in the Death Valley country.
-
- Oh, my darling, oh my darling,
- Oh, my darling Clementine,
- You are lost and gone forever,
- Dreadful sorry, Clementine!...
-
-The old timer was really ancient when I knew him, because he could
-remember the war with the Federal States that used to be called
-Germany and Japan. There was a strangeness about him, or so it seems
-to me now. Listening to him sing those pioneer ballads caught at
-the imagination and woke dreams. Of course, I was young then, and
-impressionable. But his tales were my gospel. There were some among the
-yard hands who claimed he was a survivor of the first crew back from
-Luna, but that was probably loose talk. In those days every yard had
-its "Selenite man."
-
-It was from him, though, that I heard my first spaceman's yarns. Yarns
-about the ships that were built when Venus and Mars were the outposts
-of the system ... the frontier.
-
-He used to tell of the strange ways in which those old ships took on
-personality ... character, if you like ... in the eyes of the men
-who crewed them. When he spoke I could almost feel the thrill of
-those punishing vertical takeoffs, and I could smell the stink of
-gasoline and feel the icy nimbus of liquid oxygen. I could feel too
-the throbbing of the first crotchety atomics under my feet and the
-quivering sense of aliveness it gave....
-
-Somehow, I don't believe the old man was embroidering fantasies for me.
-I think even then he knew.
-
-I grew older and left Mojave for a dozen berths on as many ships, but I
-never forgot the old timer and his stories. And it's odd that the ship
-that proved his claims to me should bear the name he used to sing in
-that pioneer ballad of his. My first command ... the R. S. Clementine.
-
- * * * * *
-
-I know that you'll not believe what I'm going to say about that ship.
-The Spatial Academy had filled you with book-learning and covered you
-with gold braid. But it's killed your imagination. Academies have a way
-of doing that. To you this will be an old spaceman's shaggy dog story.
-But no matter. I know what I know. I was there when Clem was born, and
-I watched her as she went home.
-
-Fortunately, atomic drives are outdated now. The new warships are the
-regular thing. Atomics didn't last long, and in a way it's a good
-thing. At least no crew will ever have to go through what mine went
-through, and no ship turn into a fey thing like Clem did.
-
-The strange thing about it is that I cared for that ship. I cared for
-her from the first moment I saw her lying somnolently among the rusting
-hulks in the graveyard near Canalopolis.
-
-Remember, this was a long time ago. Even then, the old timer of the
-Mojave yards must have been fifteen years dead and gone. Canalopolis
-was a desert outpost on the edge of Syrtis Major cowering under the
-lash of the everlasting sandstorms, but just then it was a boomtown.
-
-A lot of the vital force had drained away from the urge to colonize
-when Mars and Venus had turned out to be so inhospitable. That's
-why there were old ships and to spare in the Canalopolis yards. It
-looked as though the outward flood of humanity had reached its limit.
-The Asteroid Belt made deep space too dangerous to reach for mere
-colonization. A catalyst was needed.
-
-It was supplied when Carvel's exploratory crew reached Europa and found
-gold.
-
-Gold! In the same way that the cry from Sutter's Mill had brought a
-flood of new life out to the wilderness that was California centuries
-back, so Carvel's news brought men out from Terra to seek their
-fortunes in the darkness of deep space ... on that tiny, unknown
-worldlet spinning close to the bosom of mighty Jupiter.
-
-The ink on my Master's ticket was barely dry when I jumped the
-Centurion as she dropped gravs at Canalopolis. I was set for a ship of
-my own. With a few carefully hoarded dollars in my overalls and a lot
-of brass I figured that I could get me a command. A few trips through
-the Belt would put me in velvet. Of course, I knew it was dangerous and
-uncharted, but the canal city was full of grizzled sourdoughs and eager
-youngsters all willing to pay plenty for transport to Europa. I figured
-I couldn't miss.
-
-That's where the R. S. Clementine came in. I bought her with a few
-dollars cash and a whole lot of credit. During those hectic days a man
-with a space pilot's license and a Master's rating could just about
-write his own ticket.
-
-I signed a note for fifty thousand and took possession of the ship. The
-fueling took five thousand ... inerted plutonium came high on Mars, and
-the victualling took another two thousand. It didn't bother me. Ink and
-paper were cheap enough.
-
-Then I spent two days rounding up a crew on a share and share alike
-basis, and another day lining up fifty passengers at two thousand a
-head. I was in business.
-
-My Second Officer was a grizzled old rum-dum called Swanson. He was
-a laconic old soul who loved spacing only a jot better than he loved
-Martian alky. But he was a sharp man for the firing consoles; I never
-knew a better one.
-
-I was lucky to get a physicist, too, though it turned out unlucky for
-him. He was a green youngster just out of Cal Tech who fell prey to the
-gold fever and found himself stranded on Mars a few million miles from
-the lode. I talked him into signing on for a minimum of three trips on
-the promise that his share of the take would make him a fine grub-stake
-out on Europa. When I think of it now, I feel as though I personally
-killed him. He didn't want to help crew Clem, but he was on the spot
-and I talked him into it. Green as grass he was. But he had brains.
-Brains for working atomics ... nothing else. Holcomb, his name was.
-I'll never forget it.
-
-The R. S. Clementine ... it was shortened to Clem even before
-takeoff ... was an atomic multiple pulse three hundred footer. The pile
-that drove her was housed in a long sheathed tube-shaft that ran from
-just aft of the Control deck to the nozzles along her longitudinal
-axis. It was an inefficient system, but to me it looked like pure
-beauty. After all, she was my first command.
-
-At 22/30 on 2/13/49 Mars date, we blasted off for Europa with fifty
-passengers, nine crewmen and a hold full of mining equipment. In that
-three hundred foot hull we were like sardines packed in a can. Sure, it
-was profiteering, but have you ever seen prosperity without it?
-
- * * * * *
-
-The trip out was almost too uneventful. We found a clear channel
-through the Belt and came through without a change of course. In those
-days no one had ever heard of deflectors, and a free passage through
-the Belt was a one in a thousand chance. Yet, being young and a bit
-cocky, I was willing to attribute it to my own spacemanship. I imagined
-that the trip back would be even easier.
-
-The greeting we got at Europa didn't do much to teach me humility,
-either. Not many ships were getting through, and those miners wined and
-dined us in true frontier style.
-
-It took six hours to unload our passengers and their gear, and another
-hour to round up a payload for the hop back to Mars. It was mostly ore
-and mail, but we did get two passengers.
-
-We refueled out on the airless, rocky plain that served Europa as
-a space yard. Jupiter seemed to fill the sky. Deep space was a new
-experience to us and never had we grounded on a planet or moon so near
-to so large a primary. There were several cases of vertigo caused by
-the crazy feeling that we were upside down when we looked up at that
-hellishly big orb in the sky. That was one of the ever-present dangers
-on Europa. Enough of it and you found your mind going.
-
-One passenger was a miner that cracked like that. The other was an
-attendant from the Triplanetary Medical Mission that had established a
-small base on the moonlet. In other words, his keeper.
-
-The psycho came aboard in a straight-jacket and a blank bewildered
-look twisted his face as he climbed woodenly into the ventral valve.
-The attendant didn't look a great deal saner. Still, I was supremely
-confident, and my passenger's afflictions didn't worry me at all.
-
-I was busily counting my imaginary profits as soon as we blasted free.
-To say that I was pleased with myself would be an understatement.
-Clem sought the sky like the proverbial homesick angel, her atomics
-throbbing beautifully under the care of Holcomb and his tube gang.
-Swanson and I set her into a hyperbolic trajectory with a couple of
-flourishes of the graphites and Jupiter moved into the proper position
-dead astern. It was all too easy....
-
-A week passed before we crossed the outermost periphery of the Belt.
-Clem slipped between two small-sized mountains and we were in. For
-several hours the screens showed clear sky, and then came the deluge!
-There was no one in a thousand clear channel waiting for us this time.
-I learned what crossing the Belt really meant, but fast. Swanson and I
-sat at the consoles, eyes glued to the screens, sweat oozing off our
-ribs. Icy sweat, smelling of fear.
-
-Clem shuddered and jolted as we slammed her about, twisting and dodging
-as those chunks of rock came hurtling at us out of nowhere. Hour after
-wrenching hour it continued, until we ached all over from the beating
-we were taking.
-
-We were almost through when the hatch behind us flew open with a crash,
-and a screeching, wailing mass of humanity threw itself upon us! In
-a flash I knew what had happened. The jolting of the ship must have
-knocked the attendant out and the crazy miner had somehow managed to
-free himself. He'd found his way to the Control deck, sobbing with
-mixed rage and terror. He connected the gyrations of the ship with the
-men who were handling her and he was wild with terrified fury. For five
-hideous minutes Swanson and I struggled with him, trying to protect
-ourselves and at the same time keep Clem away from those ever-present
-asteroids that swam continuously into the range of the screens!
-
-Finally, Swanson got a clear shot at him with one of those ham-like
-fists of his and the psycho banged backward across the Control,
-his head crashing with sickening force into the sharp edge of the
-pressure-suit lockers. He oozed down to the floor-plates like a sack of
-wet mush. I knew without touching him that he was dead....
-
-But the damage had been done. The ship had blasted around so that she
-was slewing sideways to the axis of her trajectory and in no position
-to maneuver. I leaped for the firing consoles as I caught sight of a
-small asteroid spinning in toward us. I caught the proper key, but I
-was too late. There was a rending, tearing crash as the missile sliced
-into Clem's flank. The lights flickered and went out, and there was
-a whooshing sound as air gushed from the ruptured compartments. The
-automatic damage control system cut in then, and there was the sound
-of airtight doors banging shut throughout the ship. The glowing meters
-on the panels danced crazily, and the power dial's needle banged hard
-against the peg and back to zero in one movement. Then there was
-silence. Clem was dead in space....
-
- * * * * *
-
-For a few stunned moments Swanson and I sat on the deck staring at one
-another. There was an expression of shocked disbelief on the rummy's
-face. There was one on mine, too, I know. No matter how many times
-you brush with the violent ending, no human mind can accept the true
-inevitability of unsolicited death. We can't ever really accept the
-fact that "this is it!" Always some corner of our minds keeps thinking
-that the end is not yet.
-
-That's the way it was with us. We simply did not believe the thing
-that had happened to us. Our ship was a pierced derelict and we stood
-practically no chance of getting through now, but we couldn't accept it.
-
-A semblance of sanity returned and Swanson dragged two pressure suits
-out of the locker. In tight silence we donned them and started for the
-locked hatch. I had no idea just how badly Clem was hurt, but hope
-always remains after everything else is gone, so I had to find out.
-
-We forced the hatch and watched the air vanish in an icy cloud down the
-dark corridor. The break in the hull was large. I knew, because the
-sonar in my suit didn't pick up any hissing.
-
-The tube-shaft with its precious pile was our objective. If that was
-unhurt, there was still a chance. Fortunately we had been almost
-through the Belt when the collision came, so except for an occasional
-small bit of rock banging against the hull, space around us was clear.
-
-On the way down toward the shaft we looked in on the medic. He was
-dead from asphyxiation, his face blue and bloated with internal
-pressure. The psycho had jammed the airtight hatch of their compartment
-with a piece of luggage so that the safety device had failed when the
-air went.
-
-We left him there and continued down the companionway. After a bit,
-we met three pressure suited figures, and I breathed easier. It was
-Holcomb and two of his crew from the shaft. Off watch, they'd been in
-the forecastle when the asteroid hit. Now they were trying to force
-their way into the shaft through a badly warped and fused hatch.
-
-From the condition of the walls and deck-plates, I could see that we
-must be very near the spot where the missile cut into the ship. And
-even out where we were our wrist-geigs were clicking pettishly, showing
-that the thing had hit on or at least near the pile. Near enough to
-warp the insulating plates.
-
-I sent Swanson and one of the tubemen down to the equipment locker for
-torches, and as soon as they returned, we began cutting into the shaft.
-Even with atomic torches it took us a long time, because those walls
-were foot-thick leaded steelumin.
-
-Finally the glowing section of hatch fell away and a wave of vertigo
-swept over me. It seemed that I was about to step through the cutaway
-into eternity. Close to the hatch was a jagged hole that knifed through
-one half the ship's girth from the shaft to free space. It was as
-though a mighty hand had punched a steel forefinger halfway through a
-cylinder made of butter. The jagged edges of the hole were fused and
-melted into grotesque stalactites. And beyond gleamed the stars against
-a backdrop of diffuse nebulosity that was the Milky Way. As we watched,
-they moved lazily across the irregular patch of sky. Clem was turning
-slowly on her axis, one with the mindless drift of the cosmic dust
-cloud that was the Belt.
-
-I stepped through into the shaft. The damage had to be ascertained, for
-the three lifeships would never take us all the way into Mars. They
-were not atomic and their range was sharply limited ... five hundred
-thousand miles at most.
-
-The remains of the asteroid was a congealed mass filling the lower
-end of the shaft, and bits of machinery and shards of plating were
-scattered about the deck. The tubemen who had been in the shaft at
-the time of collision might have been the charred lumps stuck to the
-wallplates ... I didn't want to know.
-
-The pile itself had been ripped open in one place, and a threatening
-glow emanated from the torn place setting our geigs whirring. I knew
-we could stand the radiation in small dosages, since our suits were
-insulated. But not for long. Repairs had to be made quickly ... if they
-could be made at all.
-
-Using the pieces of plating that lay about, Holcomb, Swanson and I set
-about mending the break with the torch.
-
- * * * * *
-
-That was the first time I became conscious of the strangeness. Not
-many men even today have looked into a plutonium pile. It was eery,
-that light within. It was like ... well ... like the essence of life.
-Mindless, unknowing, but vibrantly alive beyond any human comparison.
-
-The break was almost healed when the ... the thing ... happened. I
-don't know of any other way to express it. The slow rotation of the
-ship brought the hole in her side into line with the Sun ... and for a
-long moment the brilliant light burned down on us ... and into the pile.
-
-In that timeless minute I felt the interplay of forces greater than the
-human mind can conceive. The pile and the Sun glared at one another.
-There is no other way it can be said. They _looked_ at each other ...
-and something happened. The Sun called to that mindless life that was
-the essence of Clem ... and she answered! She did! And all the others
-felt it too! In that instant the atomic fire in Clem's heart ... that
-fire spawned of the Sun ... awoke! And there was _oneness_!
-
-The sunbeam passed and darkness fell once again in the shaft. All of
-us stood about in silence. All of us convinced of what we had seen and
-felt, and yet each afraid to give voice to it. Colloidal life is too
-vain, somehow, to admit another, more vital sort of life into our neat
-little cosmos. Even when the proof of it happens before your eyes, you
-pass it off as ... imagination. We did. Or tried. The pile subsided
-into a sullen glow, and we pushed the thing from our minds. We had
-_seen_ nothing. And men in danger are sometimes confused. That's the
-way we rationalized it.
-
-Quickly, then, we finished the repairs and Holcomb tested for power.
-The meter snapped to life eagerly. We had our ship again and we could
-proceed. An hour before we had felt doomed, but now Mars and safety
-seemed near at hand.
-
-The passengers, of course, were both dead. Three tubemen had perished
-in the shaft. That left six crewmen and three officers. And Clem....
-
-We retreated from the shaft because of the radiation that still leaked
-through the sprung shielding, and somehow or other all of us managed to
-stay out for the next two weeks.
-
-Living in suits was hard on the nerves. One doesn't often think of all
-the inconveniences involved. But having your beard grow in your helmet,
-for instance, where you can't get at it to use depilatory, is hard to
-take. Even the most elementary body functions become fantastically
-complicated. And the result is always shattered nerves. But the
-terrific breach in the hull made it necessary. Only the Control deck
-was truly airtight after the collision, and the men were quarreling
-continuously about who should get the long watches there. Then too,
-every time the hatch was opened, new air had to be pumped in and the
-pressure tanks were dangerously low.
-
-That's why we called it imagination born of jangled nerves when we
-began to notice a difference in the way the ship handled. There
-was a certain recalcitrant sluggishness about her responses to
-course corrections, and she showed a marked preference for sunward
-trajectories rather than for the hyperbolics I computed Marsward. Yet
-we chose to ignore all the symptoms.
-
-On the fifteenth "day" after the collision, I was in the dorsal blister
-checking our position by means of bubble-tetrant and star shots. Mars
-already had begun to show a definite disc, and I felt better than I
-had in days. My flight of fancy was short-lived.
-
-Three sights told me that we were off course. Unaccountably, of course,
-for we had made no major corrections in the last week. Instead of
-pointing at the spot in space where we would intercept Mars, we were
-five degrees sunward.
-
-I triggered my suit radio and called to Swanson in Control.
-
-"Swanson here, Captain," his voice came back in my ear phones.
-
-"We are five degrees sunward of our plotted course, Swanson," I said.
-"Correct immediately."
-
-He sounded miffed as he replied: "Mars is right in the crosshairs of
-the course-scope, Sir. Right where she's been for the last week...."
-
-I told him to stand by and checked my star-sights again. I had made
-no error. We were a full five degrees off course, and the deviation
-was growing larger momentarily. I could easily detect it with my
-tetrant out here in the seldom used blister, yet in the course-scope in
-Control Mars showed centered in the crosshairs. Why? Even as I asked
-myself that question my mind flashed back to the awful moment in the
-tube-shaft. Almost wildly, I thrust the thought away from me. Yet if
-that _thing_ I had felt really lived and was intelligent ... could it
-control the images that showed in instruments that were an integral
-part of the ship ... of its own body? Could it control those so that
-such an error as this could not be discovered except by the off chance
-that someone should make a direct check with star-sights outside the
-ship itself? There was a craftiness about the disparity that frightened
-me.
-
-I forced myself to relax and I laughed half-heartedly at my imaginings.
-The weeks spent living under trying conditions in a crippled ship had
-made me susceptible to vaporings. I gave Swanson the correction again.
-
-"There must be something wrong with the scope relays, Swanson. Maybe
-the jar of the crash bollixed them," I said. "Correct with five point
-five to port. Plane is okay."
-
-"Aye, Sir," grumbled Swanson.
-
-I laid the tetrant in its rack and turned to leave the blister just as
-the ship began to throb under the impact of the correcting thrust from
-the nozzles. I glanced back over my shoulder for a last look at the
-sky, and....
-
-The hair on the nape of my neck stood erect!
-
- * * * * *
-
-Instead of correcting the course, the blast had veered Clem's nose a
-full ten degrees farther to starboard so that she pointed straight at
-the Sun!
-
-My voice was shaky as I called Control again. "Swanson, you rummy! You
-gave her starboard blast instead of port! Damn it man! You've taken us
-another ten degrees farther off arc!"
-
-"But Captain!" protested Swanson, "I gave her what you ordered!"
-
-"I ordered five point five to port!" I shouted angrily.
-
-"I _gave_ her five point five to port!" Swanson howled.
-
-Holcomb cut into the conversation from his metering station near the
-shaft. He sounded shaky with fright. "He ... he ... called for five
-five ... to port, Captain, and that's what I ... I gave him! But
-something's ... wrong! She's not responding."
-
-"Cut all power!" I ordered sharply. "We'll have to check all the
-controls."
-
-There was a moment of tense silence before Holcomb's voice came back,
-more frightened than before. "She won't cut off! I can't kill the
-drive! She's got ... the ... bit in her teeth, and...."
-
-"_Holcomb!_" My voice filled the plexiglas bubble of my helmet. I
-was afraid the youngster was going to say the very thing I had been
-thinking a few moments before and I didn't want to hear it.
-
-The physicist subsided for a minute, and Swanson cut in. "Mars shows
-properly in the course-scope now, Captain! Way off to one side!"
-
-Holcomb's laugh made cold chills run up and down my backbone. "She
-doesn't care now!" he bubbled. "She doesn't care if we know now ...
-because we can't control her! She ... She's going home ... and we can't
-stop her!"
-
-I dove through the blister hatch and ran down the ramp toward the
-metering station shouting for Swanson to get into a suit and join me
-there. Fear followed me like a writhing black shade down the dark
-companionways. I was afraid for Holcomb's mind, and I was afraid of
-something else. Something that had no name or shape. I was afraid of
-Clem ... of the thing I knew for certain now she had become.
-
-When I reached Holcomb he was calm. His outburst seemed to have sobered
-him, and for that, at least, I could be thankful.
-
-We waited for Swanson to join us, and then we went into the shaft.
-Soberly, we stood near the pile, feeling the strangeness of the alien
-life that lived as hellish atomic fire in the shielded tube nearby.
-We could feel a probing in our minds, alien fingers fishing about
-curiously, but with cautious reserve of ... a precocious child.
-
-It was Swanson who put it into words finally. Simple, prosaic words.
-"The blinkin' can has come alive!" he muttered. That tore it. Swanson
-hadn't an imaginative bone in his body, and if _he_ felt it ... it
-_was_.
-
-My mind flashed back across the years to the old man of the Mojave
-yards and his stories about living ships. The living thing that was
-the Sun, the thing that had given birth to Clem's soul had gleamed in
-on that soul through the break in the plates, and in doing that it had
-posed on Clem awareness. Awareness that she was part of the mighty life
-stream of the cosmos ... part of the living fires of the stars. In a
-way that human minds could but dimly grasp, the Sun had spoken to
-Clem ... called her. And _this_ was the result....
-
-Understand ... there was nothing malign about her ... not just then.
-She was almost childlike. Pure, brilliant, willful....
-
-We jerry-rigged a control set right there in that shaft, hoping to cut
-across the linkages from the top deck; but it was futile. I had the
-insane notion that she was laughing at us and our pestering efforts to
-re-establish dominance over her.
-
-We tried withholding fuel, but that was no good. There was enough
-plutonium already in the pile to take us across the system. Certainly
-enough to take us where she wanted to go. We didn't want to guess about
-that!
-
-Holcomb and I tried slipping the cadmium emergency dampers into the
-pile. The first one slipped in easily. But the moment the drop in
-activity registered, the second rod fused in the slip shaft. It was
-the same with all the rest. We could not insert them. Clem would
-not be anesthetized. She was protecting herself ... calmly, almost
-reproachfully. I really believe she was learning about men and their
-will to command even things they can never really understand.
-
- * * * * *
-
-That's the way it went. If the crossing of the Belt had been
-nightmarish, the next weeks were insane. Our every attempt to
-re-establish control was thwarted easily by the mind in the pile.
-Mars fell astern and Clem swung inward toward the Sun. For a while
-Terra blazed green and bright off our starboard bow, almost at eastern
-quadrature. Then she, too, began to fade behind us as the possessed
-ship drove ever Sunward.
-
-I think we were all a little mad during those terrible days. We lived
-with the knowledge that we were helplessly at the mercy of the ship.
-Gradually we admitted to ourselves where she was taking us. We realized
-where "home" was....
-
-We took to sitting dully in the Control room, still clad in suits that
-we were too lethargic to remove, and staring at the silvery disc of
-Venus that daily grew larger in the forward screens.
-
-We were sitting so when the tension broke Holcomb. One minute he was as
-morosely silent as the rest of us, and the next he had seized a spanner
-and burst screaming out of the room.
-
-His voice was like nothing human. "I won't let her do it!" he was
-shrieking. "I won't let her take me!"
-
-Automatically, the rest of us got to our feet and started after him.
-It was as though none of us really cared, but we felt that we should
-do something. Just what, no one seemed to have figured out. We clumped
-heavily down the companion ways after him toward the open hatch that
-led to the tube-shaft. In our helmet radios his voice was a continuous
-tinny and distorted harangue.
-
-"The Sun! The Sun! She's going to it. It called her and she's going to
-it! But she won't take me!" and then laughing wildly, the gibbering
-mirth of a madman.
-
-His laughter woke me. "Holcomb!" I yelled, "Come back!" Jammed in the
-narrow corridor, we struggled after him.
-
-"She won't take me! I won't let her take me!" Holcomb was screaming.
-"I'll kill her! I'll tear the rotten life out of her! Kill! Kill her!"
-
-We reached the hatchway in time to see the crazed physicist tearing
-at the moorings of the pile with his spanner. Already he had one of
-the safety latches loose and was banging furiously at the second.
-Instinctively, we reeled back, for our wrist-geigs whirred as deadly
-amounts of radiation fanned out from the bent housing. Holcomb, bathed
-in a rain of invisible death, was too engrossed in tearing the last
-latch free. The latch that would free the pile and send it spilling out
-of the nozzles into space.
-
-Then Clem struck. How can I describe the horror of it? Insensate
-metal came to life ... became enraged. And it killed. Deliberately
-and without conscience. The overhead crane that carried the plutonium
-ingots to the pile moved. It swung its claw down to pick up a sharp
-shard of steel that lay on the deck. Like a hand, it picked it up ...
-aimed ... struck!
-
-Edge first, the jagged fragment caught Holcomb across the shoulders,
-shearing his slender body in two and leaving the two uneven halves
-twitching on the dark floor. An aura of pure, ravening hate filled the
-shaft. Clem had showed her teeth.
-
-Swanson laughed, and the sound chilled me. I knew then that we were
-all going mad. The intricate system of checks and balances that nature
-built into our brains could not stand another hour of this.
-
-I slapped Swanson's face with my gloved hand and he stopped laughing,
-but his face was a frozen, distorted thing. I knew mine was the same,
-for utter terror was choking the breath from me, and I wanted to run
-screaming from the terrible hate that filled the shaft and from the
-bloody, mangled thing on the deck.
-
-I managed to make my voice understandable only by biting hard on my
-lips until the pain steadied me. I gave the order to abandon ship. With
-only a little luck we could make Venusport, but I would have abandoned
-ship if we had been halfway between here and Centaurus.
-
-I divided the men into three groups. Two men and an officer to each
-lifeship except the last. Two tubemen alone in that one. I took the
-controls of the first one myself after setting the finders of the other
-two on my own ship so that I could do the astrogation for all three.
-Then without another look at our accursed ship, we slammed out of the
-jettisoning valve into free space.
-
-The cool stars and the nearby silvery disc of Venus calmed me somewhat.
-The tremendous vistas of space were something familiar and real. And we
-were free....
-
-But we had bargained without Clem. The encounter with young Holcomb had
-changed her. He had tried to kill her ... tried to sunder her body. The
-childish core of her had become that hateful thing we had felt in the
-shaft. She had been attacked and her reaction was quick and dreadful.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Almost before we were out of her shadow, she turned in an impossibly
-short arc and charged us, atomic hell blazing from her tail. Like a
-vengeful comet, she sought us out.
-
-[Illustration: _Like a vengeful comet, she sought us out._]
-
-I called to the other ships to scatter and they leaped away from us
-like arrows. One went up and to starboard, the other went down and to
-port. I gave my own tiny boat full throttle and headed straight for the
-bright crescent of Venus.
-
-Clem would not be denied. One of the lifeships was caught in her
-tail-flare and I saw it vanish in an incandescent blot as the heat
-detonated the tank of monoatomic hydrogen it carried. Debris fanned out
-from the scene of the explosion, banging against our ship's flanks.
-
-And still the infuriated metal monster was not satisfied. She caught
-the second lifeship ... Swanson's ... about fifty miles astern of us
-and gored it to death with her needle-sharp prow.
-
-Clem swung in a wide circle and bore down on us. At her speed I knew
-she would run us down in seconds, and there was nothing left to do. I
-closed my eyes and waited.
-
-Death did not come. Instead there was a wave of something like
-emotion. It was disgust and impatience and sharp command. A
-mighty ... _something_ ... was talking ... not to us ... and not in
-words or even symbols we could truly understand. But the power of it
-was so great that we could catch the overtones, the emotional nuances
-that surcharged it. Something was talking to Clem ... commanding her
-to forget her childish wrath and ... COME!
-
-As though jerked around by a cosmic leash, the crazed ship veered
-about, her tail-flare blinding us. When we could see again, she was a
-spark far Sunward and driving at incredible speed.
-
-In tight silence, the two crewmen and I watched her for hours until she
-vanished into the bright glare of the Sun. After that we followed her
-with the radar, eyes intent on the golden blip steadily moving inward
-toward the yellow mass of Sol. We drifted in space, just watching and
-waiting. And then at last the fleck of golden light blended with the
-Sun.
-
-I knew even as I watched her that she did not die. No. There was
-maturity and satisfaction and ineffable pleasure flooding out from the
-spot where she vanished ... but no nuance of death!
-
-We turned away, emptied of emotion or even thought. In a numb trance we
-found our way into Venusport. We did not explain. By unspoken consent
-we said nothing about the thing we had witnessed. It was too new, too
-fresh. And it was too unlike life as we know it. The port authorities
-listed us as shipwrecked by collision with an errant asteroid, and we
-got passage back to Terra ... and sanity.
-
-It was a long time before I ventured into space again. And every time
-I look up at the Sun I have the feeling that I have seen something no
-human should.
-
-I saw Clem go home.
-
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Runaway, by Alfred Coppel</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Runaway</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Alfred Coppel</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 20, 2021 [eBook #64602]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RUNAWAY ***</div>
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>RUNAWAY</h1>
-
-<h2>By ALFRED COPPEL, JR.</h2>
-
-<p>Ripped by an asteroid stray, the space-ship<br />
-drifted helplessly ... until suddenly, across the<br />
-shuddering deeps, a strange voice called to her.</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Planet Stories Spring 1949.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>I recall that when I was just a boy hanging around the old Mojave space
-yards, there was an old timer there who used to sing an old song. He
-learned it from his father and he from his grandfather who used to
-prospect for gold in the Death Valley country.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse"><i>Oh, my darling, oh my darling,</i></div>
- <div class="verse"><i>Oh, my darling Clementine,</i></div>
- <div class="verse"><i>You are lost and gone forever,</i></div>
- <div class="verse"><i>Dreadful sorry, Clementine!...</i></div>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>The old timer was really ancient when I knew him, because he could
-remember the war with the Federal States that used to be called
-Germany and Japan. There was a strangeness about him, or so it seems
-to me now. Listening to him sing those pioneer ballads caught at
-the imagination and woke dreams. Of course, I was young then, and
-impressionable. But his tales were my gospel. There were some among the
-yard hands who claimed he was a survivor of the first crew back from
-Luna, but that was probably loose talk. In those days every yard had
-its "Selenite man."</p>
-
-<p>It was from him, though, that I heard my first spaceman's yarns. Yarns
-about the ships that were built when Venus and Mars were the outposts
-of the system ... the frontier.</p>
-
-<p>He used to tell of the strange ways in which those old ships took on
-personality ... character, if you like ... in the eyes of the men
-who crewed them. When he spoke I could almost feel the thrill of
-those punishing vertical takeoffs, and I could smell the stink of
-gasoline and feel the icy nimbus of liquid oxygen. I could feel too
-the throbbing of the first crotchety atomics under my feet and the
-quivering sense of aliveness it gave....</p>
-
-<p>Somehow, I don't believe the old man was embroidering fantasies for me.
-I think even then he knew.</p>
-
-<p>I grew older and left Mojave for a dozen berths on as many ships, but I
-never forgot the old timer and his stories. And it's odd that the ship
-that proved his claims to me should bear the name he used to sing in
-that pioneer ballad of his. My first command ... the R. S. Clementine.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>I know that you'll not believe what I'm going to say about that ship.
-The Spatial Academy had filled you with book-learning and covered you
-with gold braid. But it's killed your imagination. Academies have a way
-of doing that. To you this will be an old spaceman's shaggy dog story.
-But no matter. I know what I know. I was there when Clem was born, and
-I watched her as she went home.</p>
-
-<p>Fortunately, atomic drives are outdated now. The new warships are the
-regular thing. Atomics didn't last long, and in a way it's a good
-thing. At least no crew will ever have to go through what mine went
-through, and no ship turn into a fey thing like Clem did.</p>
-
-<p>The strange thing about it is that I cared for that ship. I cared for
-her from the first moment I saw her lying somnolently among the rusting
-hulks in the graveyard near Canalopolis.</p>
-
-<p>Remember, this was a long time ago. Even then, the old timer of the
-Mojave yards must have been fifteen years dead and gone. Canalopolis
-was a desert outpost on the edge of Syrtis Major cowering under the
-lash of the everlasting sandstorms, but just then it was a boomtown.</p>
-
-<p>A lot of the vital force had drained away from the urge to colonize
-when Mars and Venus had turned out to be so inhospitable. That's
-why there were old ships and to spare in the Canalopolis yards. It
-looked as though the outward flood of humanity had reached its limit.
-The Asteroid Belt made deep space too dangerous to reach for mere
-colonization. A catalyst was needed.</p>
-
-<p>It was supplied when Carvel's exploratory crew reached Europa and found
-gold.</p>
-
-<p>Gold! In the same way that the cry from Sutter's Mill had brought a
-flood of new life out to the wilderness that was California centuries
-back, so Carvel's news brought men out from Terra to seek their
-fortunes in the darkness of deep space ... on that tiny, unknown
-worldlet spinning close to the bosom of mighty Jupiter.</p>
-
-<p>The ink on my Master's ticket was barely dry when I jumped the
-Centurion as she dropped gravs at Canalopolis. I was set for a ship of
-my own. With a few carefully hoarded dollars in my overalls and a lot
-of brass I figured that I could get me a command. A few trips through
-the Belt would put me in velvet. Of course, I knew it was dangerous and
-uncharted, but the canal city was full of grizzled sourdoughs and eager
-youngsters all willing to pay plenty for transport to Europa. I figured
-I couldn't miss.</p>
-
-<p>That's where the R. S. Clementine came in. I bought her with a few
-dollars cash and a whole lot of credit. During those hectic days a man
-with a space pilot's license and a Master's rating could just about
-write his own ticket.</p>
-
-<p>I signed a note for fifty thousand and took possession of the ship. The
-fueling took five thousand ... inerted plutonium came high on Mars, and
-the victualling took another two thousand. It didn't bother me. Ink and
-paper were cheap enough.</p>
-
-<p>Then I spent two days rounding up a crew on a share and share alike
-basis, and another day lining up fifty passengers at two thousand a
-head. I was in business.</p>
-
-<p>My Second Officer was a grizzled old rum-dum called Swanson. He was
-a laconic old soul who loved spacing only a jot better than he loved
-Martian alky. But he was a sharp man for the firing consoles; I never
-knew a better one.</p>
-
-<p>I was lucky to get a physicist, too, though it turned out unlucky for
-him. He was a green youngster just out of Cal Tech who fell prey to the
-gold fever and found himself stranded on Mars a few million miles from
-the lode. I talked him into signing on for a minimum of three trips on
-the promise that his share of the take would make him a fine grub-stake
-out on Europa. When I think of it now, I feel as though I personally
-killed him. He didn't want to help crew Clem, but he was on the spot
-and I talked him into it. Green as grass he was. But he had brains.
-Brains for working atomics ... nothing else. Holcomb, his name was.
-I'll never forget it.</p>
-
-<p>The R. S. Clementine ... it was shortened to Clem even before
-takeoff ... was an atomic multiple pulse three hundred footer. The pile
-that drove her was housed in a long sheathed tube-shaft that ran from
-just aft of the Control deck to the nozzles along her longitudinal
-axis. It was an inefficient system, but to me it looked like pure
-beauty. After all, she was my first command.</p>
-
-<p>At 22/30 on 2/13/49 Mars date, we blasted off for Europa with fifty
-passengers, nine crewmen and a hold full of mining equipment. In that
-three hundred foot hull we were like sardines packed in a can. Sure, it
-was profiteering, but have you ever seen prosperity without it?</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The trip out was almost too uneventful. We found a clear channel
-through the Belt and came through without a change of course. In those
-days no one had ever heard of deflectors, and a free passage through
-the Belt was a one in a thousand chance. Yet, being young and a bit
-cocky, I was willing to attribute it to my own spacemanship. I imagined
-that the trip back would be even easier.</p>
-
-<p>The greeting we got at Europa didn't do much to teach me humility,
-either. Not many ships were getting through, and those miners wined and
-dined us in true frontier style.</p>
-
-<p>It took six hours to unload our passengers and their gear, and another
-hour to round up a payload for the hop back to Mars. It was mostly ore
-and mail, but we did get two passengers.</p>
-
-<p>We refueled out on the airless, rocky plain that served Europa as
-a space yard. Jupiter seemed to fill the sky. Deep space was a new
-experience to us and never had we grounded on a planet or moon so near
-to so large a primary. There were several cases of vertigo caused by
-the crazy feeling that we were upside down when we looked up at that
-hellishly big orb in the sky. That was one of the ever-present dangers
-on Europa. Enough of it and you found your mind going.</p>
-
-<p>One passenger was a miner that cracked like that. The other was an
-attendant from the Triplanetary Medical Mission that had established a
-small base on the moonlet. In other words, his keeper.</p>
-
-<p>The psycho came aboard in a straight-jacket and a blank bewildered
-look twisted his face as he climbed woodenly into the ventral valve.
-The attendant didn't look a great deal saner. Still, I was supremely
-confident, and my passenger's afflictions didn't worry me at all.</p>
-
-<p>I was busily counting my imaginary profits as soon as we blasted free.
-To say that I was pleased with myself would be an understatement.
-Clem sought the sky like the proverbial homesick angel, her atomics
-throbbing beautifully under the care of Holcomb and his tube gang.
-Swanson and I set her into a hyperbolic trajectory with a couple of
-flourishes of the graphites and Jupiter moved into the proper position
-dead astern. It was all too easy....</p>
-
-<p>A week passed before we crossed the outermost periphery of the Belt.
-Clem slipped between two small-sized mountains and we were in. For
-several hours the screens showed clear sky, and then came the deluge!
-There was no one in a thousand clear channel waiting for us this time.
-I learned what crossing the Belt really meant, but fast. Swanson and I
-sat at the consoles, eyes glued to the screens, sweat oozing off our
-ribs. Icy sweat, smelling of fear.</p>
-
-<p>Clem shuddered and jolted as we slammed her about, twisting and dodging
-as those chunks of rock came hurtling at us out of nowhere. Hour after
-wrenching hour it continued, until we ached all over from the beating
-we were taking.</p>
-
-<p>We were almost through when the hatch behind us flew open with a crash,
-and a screeching, wailing mass of humanity threw itself upon us! In
-a flash I knew what had happened. The jolting of the ship must have
-knocked the attendant out and the crazy miner had somehow managed to
-free himself. He'd found his way to the Control deck, sobbing with
-mixed rage and terror. He connected the gyrations of the ship with the
-men who were handling her and he was wild with terrified fury. For five
-hideous minutes Swanson and I struggled with him, trying to protect
-ourselves and at the same time keep Clem away from those ever-present
-asteroids that swam continuously into the range of the screens!</p>
-
-<p>Finally, Swanson got a clear shot at him with one of those ham-like
-fists of his and the psycho banged backward across the Control,
-his head crashing with sickening force into the sharp edge of the
-pressure-suit lockers. He oozed down to the floor-plates like a sack of
-wet mush. I knew without touching him that he was dead....</p>
-
-<p>But the damage had been done. The ship had blasted around so that she
-was slewing sideways to the axis of her trajectory and in no position
-to maneuver. I leaped for the firing consoles as I caught sight of a
-small asteroid spinning in toward us. I caught the proper key, but I
-was too late. There was a rending, tearing crash as the missile sliced
-into Clem's flank. The lights flickered and went out, and there was
-a whooshing sound as air gushed from the ruptured compartments. The
-automatic damage control system cut in then, and there was the sound
-of airtight doors banging shut throughout the ship. The glowing meters
-on the panels danced crazily, and the power dial's needle banged hard
-against the peg and back to zero in one movement. Then there was
-silence. Clem was dead in space....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>For a few stunned moments Swanson and I sat on the deck staring at one
-another. There was an expression of shocked disbelief on the rummy's
-face. There was one on mine, too, I know. No matter how many times
-you brush with the violent ending, no human mind can accept the true
-inevitability of unsolicited death. We can't ever really accept the
-fact that "this is it!" Always some corner of our minds keeps thinking
-that the end is not yet.</p>
-
-<p>That's the way it was with us. We simply did not believe the thing
-that had happened to us. Our ship was a pierced derelict and we stood
-practically no chance of getting through now, but we couldn't accept it.</p>
-
-<p>A semblance of sanity returned and Swanson dragged two pressure suits
-out of the locker. In tight silence we donned them and started for the
-locked hatch. I had no idea just how badly Clem was hurt, but hope
-always remains after everything else is gone, so I had to find out.</p>
-
-<p>We forced the hatch and watched the air vanish in an icy cloud down the
-dark corridor. The break in the hull was large. I knew, because the
-sonar in my suit didn't pick up any hissing.</p>
-
-<p>The tube-shaft with its precious pile was our objective. If that was
-unhurt, there was still a chance. Fortunately we had been almost
-through the Belt when the collision came, so except for an occasional
-small bit of rock banging against the hull, space around us was clear.</p>
-
-<p>On the way down toward the shaft we looked in on the medic. He was
-dead from asphyxiation, his face blue and bloated with internal
-pressure. The psycho had jammed the airtight hatch of their compartment
-with a piece of luggage so that the safety device had failed when the
-air went.</p>
-
-<p>We left him there and continued down the companionway. After a bit,
-we met three pressure suited figures, and I breathed easier. It was
-Holcomb and two of his crew from the shaft. Off watch, they'd been in
-the forecastle when the asteroid hit. Now they were trying to force
-their way into the shaft through a badly warped and fused hatch.</p>
-
-<p>From the condition of the walls and deck-plates, I could see that we
-must be very near the spot where the missile cut into the ship. And
-even out where we were our wrist-geigs were clicking pettishly, showing
-that the thing had hit on or at least near the pile. Near enough to
-warp the insulating plates.</p>
-
-<p>I sent Swanson and one of the tubemen down to the equipment locker for
-torches, and as soon as they returned, we began cutting into the shaft.
-Even with atomic torches it took us a long time, because those walls
-were foot-thick leaded steelumin.</p>
-
-<p>Finally the glowing section of hatch fell away and a wave of vertigo
-swept over me. It seemed that I was about to step through the cutaway
-into eternity. Close to the hatch was a jagged hole that knifed through
-one half the ship's girth from the shaft to free space. It was as
-though a mighty hand had punched a steel forefinger halfway through a
-cylinder made of butter. The jagged edges of the hole were fused and
-melted into grotesque stalactites. And beyond gleamed the stars against
-a backdrop of diffuse nebulosity that was the Milky Way. As we watched,
-they moved lazily across the irregular patch of sky. Clem was turning
-slowly on her axis, one with the mindless drift of the cosmic dust
-cloud that was the Belt.</p>
-
-<p>I stepped through into the shaft. The damage had to be ascertained, for
-the three lifeships would never take us all the way into Mars. They
-were not atomic and their range was sharply limited ... five hundred
-thousand miles at most.</p>
-
-<p>The remains of the asteroid was a congealed mass filling the lower
-end of the shaft, and bits of machinery and shards of plating were
-scattered about the deck. The tubemen who had been in the shaft at
-the time of collision might have been the charred lumps stuck to the
-wallplates ... I didn't want to know.</p>
-
-<p>The pile itself had been ripped open in one place, and a threatening
-glow emanated from the torn place setting our geigs whirring. I knew
-we could stand the radiation in small dosages, since our suits were
-insulated. But not for long. Repairs had to be made quickly ... if they
-could be made at all.</p>
-
-<p>Using the pieces of plating that lay about, Holcomb, Swanson and I set
-about mending the break with the torch.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>That was the first time I became conscious of the strangeness. Not
-many men even today have looked into a plutonium pile. It was eery,
-that light within. It was like ... well ... like the essence of life.
-Mindless, unknowing, but vibrantly alive beyond any human comparison.</p>
-
-<p>The break was almost healed when the ... the thing ... happened. I
-don't know of any other way to express it. The slow rotation of the
-ship brought the hole in her side into line with the Sun ... and for a
-long moment the brilliant light burned down on us ... and into the pile.</p>
-
-<p>In that timeless minute I felt the interplay of forces greater than the
-human mind can conceive. The pile and the Sun glared at one another.
-There is no other way it can be said. They <i>looked</i> at each other ...
-and something happened. The Sun called to that mindless life that was
-the essence of Clem ... and she answered! She did! And all the others
-felt it too! In that instant the atomic fire in Clem's heart ... that
-fire spawned of the Sun ... awoke! And there was <i>oneness</i>!</p>
-
-<p>The sunbeam passed and darkness fell once again in the shaft. All of
-us stood about in silence. All of us convinced of what we had seen and
-felt, and yet each afraid to give voice to it. Colloidal life is too
-vain, somehow, to admit another, more vital sort of life into our neat
-little cosmos. Even when the proof of it happens before your eyes, you
-pass it off as ... imagination. We did. Or tried. The pile subsided
-into a sullen glow, and we pushed the thing from our minds. We had
-<i>seen</i> nothing. And men in danger are sometimes confused. That's the
-way we rationalized it.</p>
-
-<p>Quickly, then, we finished the repairs and Holcomb tested for power.
-The meter snapped to life eagerly. We had our ship again and we could
-proceed. An hour before we had felt doomed, but now Mars and safety
-seemed near at hand.</p>
-
-<p>The passengers, of course, were both dead. Three tubemen had perished
-in the shaft. That left six crewmen and three officers. And Clem....</p>
-
-<p>We retreated from the shaft because of the radiation that still leaked
-through the sprung shielding, and somehow or other all of us managed to
-stay out for the next two weeks.</p>
-
-<p>Living in suits was hard on the nerves. One doesn't often think of all
-the inconveniences involved. But having your beard grow in your helmet,
-for instance, where you can't get at it to use depilatory, is hard to
-take. Even the most elementary body functions become fantastically
-complicated. And the result is always shattered nerves. But the
-terrific breach in the hull made it necessary. Only the Control deck
-was truly airtight after the collision, and the men were quarreling
-continuously about who should get the long watches there. Then too,
-every time the hatch was opened, new air had to be pumped in and the
-pressure tanks were dangerously low.</p>
-
-<p>That's why we called it imagination born of jangled nerves when we
-began to notice a difference in the way the ship handled. There
-was a certain recalcitrant sluggishness about her responses to
-course corrections, and she showed a marked preference for sunward
-trajectories rather than for the hyperbolics I computed Marsward. Yet
-we chose to ignore all the symptoms.</p>
-
-<p>On the fifteenth "day" after the collision, I was in the dorsal blister
-checking our position by means of bubble-tetrant and star shots. Mars
-already had begun to show a definite disc, and I felt better than I
-had in days. My flight of fancy was short-lived.</p>
-
-<p>Three sights told me that we were off course. Unaccountably, of course,
-for we had made no major corrections in the last week. Instead of
-pointing at the spot in space where we would intercept Mars, we were
-five degrees sunward.</p>
-
-<p>I triggered my suit radio and called to Swanson in Control.</p>
-
-<p>"Swanson here, Captain," his voice came back in my ear phones.</p>
-
-<p>"We are five degrees sunward of our plotted course, Swanson," I said.
-"Correct immediately."</p>
-
-<p>He sounded miffed as he replied: "Mars is right in the crosshairs of
-the course-scope, Sir. Right where she's been for the last week...."</p>
-
-<p>I told him to stand by and checked my star-sights again. I had made
-no error. We were a full five degrees off course, and the deviation
-was growing larger momentarily. I could easily detect it with my
-tetrant out here in the seldom used blister, yet in the course-scope in
-Control Mars showed centered in the crosshairs. Why? Even as I asked
-myself that question my mind flashed back to the awful moment in the
-tube-shaft. Almost wildly, I thrust the thought away from me. Yet if
-that <i>thing</i> I had felt really lived and was intelligent ... could it
-control the images that showed in instruments that were an integral
-part of the ship ... of its own body? Could it control those so that
-such an error as this could not be discovered except by the off chance
-that someone should make a direct check with star-sights outside the
-ship itself? There was a craftiness about the disparity that frightened
-me.</p>
-
-<p>I forced myself to relax and I laughed half-heartedly at my imaginings.
-The weeks spent living under trying conditions in a crippled ship had
-made me susceptible to vaporings. I gave Swanson the correction again.</p>
-
-<p>"There must be something wrong with the scope relays, Swanson. Maybe
-the jar of the crash bollixed them," I said. "Correct with five point
-five to port. Plane is okay."</p>
-
-<p>"Aye, Sir," grumbled Swanson.</p>
-
-<p>I laid the tetrant in its rack and turned to leave the blister just as
-the ship began to throb under the impact of the correcting thrust from
-the nozzles. I glanced back over my shoulder for a last look at the
-sky, and....</p>
-
-<p>The hair on the nape of my neck stood erect!</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Instead of correcting the course, the blast had veered Clem's nose a
-full ten degrees farther to starboard so that she pointed straight at
-the Sun!</p>
-
-<p>My voice was shaky as I called Control again. "Swanson, you rummy! You
-gave her starboard blast instead of port! Damn it man! You've taken us
-another ten degrees farther off arc!"</p>
-
-<p>"But Captain!" protested Swanson, "I gave her what you ordered!"</p>
-
-<p>"I ordered five point five to port!" I shouted angrily.</p>
-
-<p>"I <i>gave</i> her five point five to port!" Swanson howled.</p>
-
-<p>Holcomb cut into the conversation from his metering station near the
-shaft. He sounded shaky with fright. "He ... he ... called for five
-five ... to port, Captain, and that's what I ... I gave him! But
-something's ... wrong! She's not responding."</p>
-
-<p>"Cut all power!" I ordered sharply. "We'll have to check all the
-controls."</p>
-
-<p>There was a moment of tense silence before Holcomb's voice came back,
-more frightened than before. "She won't cut off! I can't kill the
-drive! She's got ... the ... bit in her teeth, and...."</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Holcomb!</i>" My voice filled the plexiglas bubble of my helmet. I
-was afraid the youngster was going to say the very thing I had been
-thinking a few moments before and I didn't want to hear it.</p>
-
-<p>The physicist subsided for a minute, and Swanson cut in. "Mars shows
-properly in the course-scope now, Captain! Way off to one side!"</p>
-
-<p>Holcomb's laugh made cold chills run up and down my backbone. "She
-doesn't care now!" he bubbled. "She doesn't care if we know now ...
-because we can't control her! She ... She's going home ... and we can't
-stop her!"</p>
-
-<p>I dove through the blister hatch and ran down the ramp toward the
-metering station shouting for Swanson to get into a suit and join me
-there. Fear followed me like a writhing black shade down the dark
-companionways. I was afraid for Holcomb's mind, and I was afraid of
-something else. Something that had no name or shape. I was afraid of
-Clem ... of the thing I knew for certain now she had become.</p>
-
-<p>When I reached Holcomb he was calm. His outburst seemed to have sobered
-him, and for that, at least, I could be thankful.</p>
-
-<p>We waited for Swanson to join us, and then we went into the shaft.
-Soberly, we stood near the pile, feeling the strangeness of the alien
-life that lived as hellish atomic fire in the shielded tube nearby.
-We could feel a probing in our minds, alien fingers fishing about
-curiously, but with cautious reserve of ... a precocious child.</p>
-
-<p>It was Swanson who put it into words finally. Simple, prosaic words.
-"The blinkin' can has come alive!" he muttered. That tore it. Swanson
-hadn't an imaginative bone in his body, and if <i>he</i> felt it ... it
-<i>was</i>.</p>
-
-<p>My mind flashed back across the years to the old man of the Mojave
-yards and his stories about living ships. The living thing that was
-the Sun, the thing that had given birth to Clem's soul had gleamed in
-on that soul through the break in the plates, and in doing that it had
-posed on Clem awareness. Awareness that she was part of the mighty life
-stream of the cosmos ... part of the living fires of the stars. In a
-way that human minds could but dimly grasp, the Sun had spoken to
-Clem ... called her. And <i>this</i> was the result....</p>
-
-<p>Understand ... there was nothing malign about her ... not just then.
-She was almost childlike. Pure, brilliant, willful....</p>
-
-<p>We jerry-rigged a control set right there in that shaft, hoping to cut
-across the linkages from the top deck; but it was futile. I had the
-insane notion that she was laughing at us and our pestering efforts to
-re-establish dominance over her.</p>
-
-<p>We tried withholding fuel, but that was no good. There was enough
-plutonium already in the pile to take us across the system. Certainly
-enough to take us where she wanted to go. We didn't want to guess about
-that!</p>
-
-<p>Holcomb and I tried slipping the cadmium emergency dampers into the
-pile. The first one slipped in easily. But the moment the drop in
-activity registered, the second rod fused in the slip shaft. It was
-the same with all the rest. We could not insert them. Clem would
-not be anesthetized. She was protecting herself ... calmly, almost
-reproachfully. I really believe she was learning about men and their
-will to command even things they can never really understand.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>That's the way it went. If the crossing of the Belt had been
-nightmarish, the next weeks were insane. Our every attempt to
-re-establish control was thwarted easily by the mind in the pile.
-Mars fell astern and Clem swung inward toward the Sun. For a while
-Terra blazed green and bright off our starboard bow, almost at eastern
-quadrature. Then she, too, began to fade behind us as the possessed
-ship drove ever Sunward.</p>
-
-<p>I think we were all a little mad during those terrible days. We lived
-with the knowledge that we were helplessly at the mercy of the ship.
-Gradually we admitted to ourselves where she was taking us. We realized
-where "home" was....</p>
-
-<p>We took to sitting dully in the Control room, still clad in suits that
-we were too lethargic to remove, and staring at the silvery disc of
-Venus that daily grew larger in the forward screens.</p>
-
-<p>We were sitting so when the tension broke Holcomb. One minute he was as
-morosely silent as the rest of us, and the next he had seized a spanner
-and burst screaming out of the room.</p>
-
-<p>His voice was like nothing human. "I won't let her do it!" he was
-shrieking. "I won't let her take me!"</p>
-
-<p>Automatically, the rest of us got to our feet and started after him.
-It was as though none of us really cared, but we felt that we should
-do something. Just what, no one seemed to have figured out. We clumped
-heavily down the companion ways after him toward the open hatch that
-led to the tube-shaft. In our helmet radios his voice was a continuous
-tinny and distorted harangue.</p>
-
-<p>"The Sun! The Sun! She's going to it. It called her and she's going to
-it! But she won't take me!" and then laughing wildly, the gibbering
-mirth of a madman.</p>
-
-<p>His laughter woke me. "Holcomb!" I yelled, "Come back!" Jammed in the
-narrow corridor, we struggled after him.</p>
-
-<p>"She won't take me! I won't let her take me!" Holcomb was screaming.
-"I'll kill her! I'll tear the rotten life out of her! Kill! Kill her!"</p>
-
-<p>We reached the hatchway in time to see the crazed physicist tearing
-at the moorings of the pile with his spanner. Already he had one of
-the safety latches loose and was banging furiously at the second.
-Instinctively, we reeled back, for our wrist-geigs whirred as deadly
-amounts of radiation fanned out from the bent housing. Holcomb, bathed
-in a rain of invisible death, was too engrossed in tearing the last
-latch free. The latch that would free the pile and send it spilling out
-of the nozzles into space.</p>
-
-<p>Then Clem struck. How can I describe the horror of it? Insensate
-metal came to life ... became enraged. And it killed. Deliberately
-and without conscience. The overhead crane that carried the plutonium
-ingots to the pile moved. It swung its claw down to pick up a sharp
-shard of steel that lay on the deck. Like a hand, it picked it up ...
-aimed ... struck!</p>
-
-<p>Edge first, the jagged fragment caught Holcomb across the shoulders,
-shearing his slender body in two and leaving the two uneven halves
-twitching on the dark floor. An aura of pure, ravening hate filled the
-shaft. Clem had showed her teeth.</p>
-
-<p>Swanson laughed, and the sound chilled me. I knew then that we were
-all going mad. The intricate system of checks and balances that nature
-built into our brains could not stand another hour of this.</p>
-
-<p>I slapped Swanson's face with my gloved hand and he stopped laughing,
-but his face was a frozen, distorted thing. I knew mine was the same,
-for utter terror was choking the breath from me, and I wanted to run
-screaming from the terrible hate that filled the shaft and from the
-bloody, mangled thing on the deck.</p>
-
-<p>I managed to make my voice understandable only by biting hard on my
-lips until the pain steadied me. I gave the order to abandon ship. With
-only a little luck we could make Venusport, but I would have abandoned
-ship if we had been halfway between here and Centaurus.</p>
-
-<p>I divided the men into three groups. Two men and an officer to each
-lifeship except the last. Two tubemen alone in that one. I took the
-controls of the first one myself after setting the finders of the other
-two on my own ship so that I could do the astrogation for all three.
-Then without another look at our accursed ship, we slammed out of the
-jettisoning valve into free space.</p>
-
-<p>The cool stars and the nearby silvery disc of Venus calmed me somewhat.
-The tremendous vistas of space were something familiar and real. And we
-were free....</p>
-
-<p>But we had bargained without Clem. The encounter with young Holcomb had
-changed her. He had tried to kill her ... tried to sunder her body. The
-childish core of her had become that hateful thing we had felt in the
-shaft. She had been attacked and her reaction was quick and dreadful.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Almost before we were out of her shadow, she turned in an impossibly
-short arc and charged us, atomic hell blazing from her tail. Like a
-vengeful comet, she sought us out.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
- <div class="caption">
- <p><i>Like a vengeful comet, she sought us out.</i></p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>I called to the other ships to scatter and they leaped away from us
-like arrows. One went up and to starboard, the other went down and to
-port. I gave my own tiny boat full throttle and headed straight for the
-bright crescent of Venus.</p>
-
-<p>Clem would not be denied. One of the lifeships was caught in her
-tail-flare and I saw it vanish in an incandescent blot as the heat
-detonated the tank of monoatomic hydrogen it carried. Debris fanned out
-from the scene of the explosion, banging against our ship's flanks.</p>
-
-<p>And still the infuriated metal monster was not satisfied. She caught
-the second lifeship ... Swanson's ... about fifty miles astern of us
-and gored it to death with her needle-sharp prow.</p>
-
-<p>Clem swung in a wide circle and bore down on us. At her speed I knew
-she would run us down in seconds, and there was nothing left to do. I
-closed my eyes and waited.</p>
-
-<p>Death did not come. Instead there was a wave of something like
-emotion. It was disgust and impatience and sharp command. A
-mighty ... <i>something</i> ... was talking ... not to us ... and not in
-words or even symbols we could truly understand. But the power of it
-was so great that we could catch the overtones, the emotional nuances
-that surcharged it. Something was talking to Clem ... commanding her
-to forget her childish wrath and ... COME!</p>
-
-<p>As though jerked around by a cosmic leash, the crazed ship veered
-about, her tail-flare blinding us. When we could see again, she was a
-spark far Sunward and driving at incredible speed.</p>
-
-<p>In tight silence, the two crewmen and I watched her for hours until she
-vanished into the bright glare of the Sun. After that we followed her
-with the radar, eyes intent on the golden blip steadily moving inward
-toward the yellow mass of Sol. We drifted in space, just watching and
-waiting. And then at last the fleck of golden light blended with the
-Sun.</p>
-
-<p>I knew even as I watched her that she did not die. No. There was
-maturity and satisfaction and ineffable pleasure flooding out from the
-spot where she vanished ... but no nuance of death!</p>
-
-<p>We turned away, emptied of emotion or even thought. In a numb trance we
-found our way into Venusport. We did not explain. By unspoken consent
-we said nothing about the thing we had witnessed. It was too new, too
-fresh. And it was too unlike life as we know it. The port authorities
-listed us as shipwrecked by collision with an errant asteroid, and we
-got passage back to Terra ... and sanity.</p>
-
-<p>It was a long time before I ventured into space again. And every time
-I look up at the Sun I have the feeling that I have seen something no
-human should.</p>
-
-<p>I saw Clem go home.</p>
-
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