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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #63230 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63230)
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-<pre>
-
-Project Gutenberg's Two Stories, by Virginia Woolf and Leonard Woolf
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Two Stories
-
-Author: Virginia Woolf
- Leonard Woolf
-
-Illustrator: Dora Carrington
-
-Release Date: September 18, 2020 [EBook #63230]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO STORIES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Laura Natal Rodrigues at Free Literature (Images
-generously made available by British Library.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;">
-<img src="images/stories_cover.jpg" width="500" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-
-<h5>PUBLICATION NO. I.</h5>
-
-
-<h2>TWO STORIES</h2>
-
-
-<h4>WRITTEN AND PRINTED</h4>
-
-<h4>BY</h4>
-
-<h3>VIRGINIA WOOLF</h3>
-
-<h4>AND</h4>
-
-<h3>L. S. WOOLF</h3>
-
-
-<h4>HOGARTH PRESS</h4>
-
-<h4>RICHMOND</h4>
-
-<h5>1917</h5>
-
-
-<hr class="r5" />
-
-<h4>CONTENTS</h4>
-<p><a href="#THREE_JEWS">THREE JEWS By L. S. WOOLF</a><br />
-<a href="#THE_MARK_ON_THE_WALL">THE MARK ON THE WALL By VIRGINIA WOOLF</a></p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<img src="images/figure01.jpg" width="300" alt="400" />
-</div>
-
-<p><br /><br /></p>
-
-
-<h4><a id="THREE_JEWS">THREE JEWS</a></h4>
-
-<h5>By</h5>
-
-<h4>LEONARD WOOLF.</h4>
-
-
-<p>It was a Sunday and the first day of spring, the first day on which one
-felt at any rate spring in the air. It blew in at my window with its
-warm breath, with its inevitable little touch of sadness. I felt
-restless, and I had nowhere to go to; everyone I knew was out of town. I
-looked out of my window at the black trees breaking into bud, the tulips
-and the hyacinths that even London could not rob of their reds and blues
-and yellows, the delicate spring sunshine on the asphalt, and the pale
-blue sky that the chimney pots broke into. I found myself muttering
-"damn it" for no very obvious reason. It was spring, I suppose, the
-first stirring of the blood.</p>
-
-<p>I wanted to see clean trees, and the sun shine upon grass; I wanted
-flowers and leaves unsoiled by soot; I wanted to see and smell the
-earth; above all I wanted the horizon. I felt that something was waiting
-for me beyond the houses and the chimney-pots: I should find it where
-earth and sky meet. I didn't of course but I took the train to Kew.</p>
-
-<p>If I did not find in Kew the place where earth and sky meet or even the
-smell of the earth, I saw at any rate the sun upon the brown bark of
-trees and the delicate green of grass. It was spring there, English
-spring with its fresh warm breath, and its pale blue sky above the
-trees. Yes, the quiet orderly English spring that embraced and sobered
-even the florid luxuriance of great flowers bursting in white cascades
-over strange tropical trees.</p>
-
-<p>And the spring had brought the people out into the gardens, the quiet
-orderly English people. It was the first stirring of the blood. It had
-stirred them to come out in couples, in family parties, in tight
-matronly black dresses, in drab coats and trousers in dowdy skirts and
-hats. It had stirred some to come in elegant costumes and morning suits
-and spats. They looked at the flaunting tropical trees, and made jokes,
-and chaffed one another, and laughed not very loud. They were happy in
-their quiet orderly English way, happy in the warmth of the sunshine,
-happy to be among quiet trees, and to feel the soft grass under their
-feet. They did not run about or shout, they walked slowly, quietly,
-taking care to keep off the edges of the grass because the notices told
-them to do so.</p>
-
-<p>It was very warm, very pleasant, and very tiring. I wandered cut at last
-through the big gates, and was waved by a man with a napkin&mdash;he stood
-on the pavement&mdash;through a Georgian house into a garden studded with
-white topped tables and dirty ricketty chairs. It was crowded with people,
-and I sat down at the only vacant table, and watched them eating plum-cake
-and drinking tea quietly, soberly, under the gentle apple-blossom.</p>
-
-<p>A man came up the garden looking quickly from side to side for an empty
-place. I watched him in a tired lazy way. There was a bustle and roll
-and energy in his walk. I noticed the thickness of his legs above the
-knee, the arms that hung so loosely and limply by his sides as they do
-with people who wear loose hanging clothes without sleeves, his dark fat
-face and the sensual mouth, the great curve of the upper lip and the
-hanging lower one. A clever face, dark and inscrutable, with its large
-mysterious eyes and the heavy lids which went into deep folds at the
-corners.</p>
-
-<p>He stopped near my table, looked at the empty chair and then at me, and
-said:</p>
-
-<p>"Excuse me, Sir, but d'you mind my sitting at your table?"</p>
-
-<p>I noticed the slight thickness of the voice, the overemphasis, and the
-little note of assertiveness in it. I said I didn't mind at all.</p>
-
-<p>He sat down, leaned back in his chair, and took his hat off. He had a
-high forehead, black hair, and well-shaped fat hands.</p>
-
-<p>"Fine day," he said, "wonderfully fine day, the finest day I ever
-remember. Nothing to beat a fine English spring day."</p>
-
-<p>I saw the delicate apple-blossom and the pale blue sky behind his large
-dark head. I smiled. He saw the smile, flushed, and then smiled himself.</p>
-
-<p>"You are amused," he said, still smiling, "I believe I know why."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," I said, "You knew me at once and I knew you. We show up, don't
-we, under the apple-blossom and this sky. It doesn't belong to us, do
-you wish it did?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ah," he said seriously, "that's the question. Or rather we don't belong
-to it. We belong to Palestine still, but I'm not sure that it doesn't
-belong to us for all that."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, perhaps your version is truer than mine. I'll take it, but
-there's still the question, do you wish <i>you</i> belonged to
-<i>it</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>He wasn't a bit offended. He tilted back his chair, put one thumb in the
-arm-hole of his waistcoat, and looked round the garden. He showed
-abominably concentrated, floridly intelligent, in the thin spring air
-and among the inconspicuous tea-drinkers. He didn't answer my question;
-he was thinking, and when he spoke, he asked another:</p>
-
-<p>"Do you ever go to Synagogue?"</p>
-
-<p>"No."</p>
-
-<p>"Nor do I, except on Yom Kippur. I still go then every year&mdash;pure
-habit. I don't believe in it, of course; I believe in nothing&mdash;you
-believe in nothing&mdash;we're all sceptics. And yet we belong to Palestine
-still. Funny, ain't it? How it comes out! Under the apple-blossom and blue
-sky, as you say, as well as&mdash;as&mdash;among the tombs."</p>
-
-<p>"Among the tombs?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, I was thinking of another man I met. He belongs to Palestine too.
-Shall I tell you about him?"</p>
-
-<p>I said I wished he would. He put his hand's in his pockets and began at
-once.</p>
-
-<p class="center">* * * * * * * * *</p>
-
-<p>The first time I saw him, I remember the day well, as well as yesterday.
-There was no apple-blossom then, a November day, cold, bitter cold, the
-coldest day I remember. It was the anniversary of my poor wife's death.
-She was my first wife, Rebecca. She made me a good wife, I tell you&mdash;we
-were very happy. (He took out a white silk pocket handkerchief, opened
-it with something of a flourish, and blew his nose long and loudly. Then
-he continued.)</p>
-
-<p>I buried her at the cemetery in K&mdash;Road. You know it? What? No? You
-must know it, the big cemetery near the hospital. You know the hospital at
-any rate? Well, you turn down by it coming from the station, take the
-first turning to the right and the second to the left, and there you
-are. It's a big cemetery, very big, almost as big as Golders Green, and
-they keep the gardens very nicely. Well, my poor wife lies there&mdash;my
-first wife, I've married again, you see, and she's living and well,
-thank God&mdash;and I went on the first anniversary to visit the grave and
-put flowers on it.</p>
-
-<p>There you are now, there's another curious thing. I often wonder why we
-do it. It's not as if it did anyone any <i>good.</i> I don't believe in
-immortality, nor do you, nor do any of us. But I go and put flowers on
-her grave though it won't do her any good, poor soul. It's sentiment, I
-suppose. No one can say we Jews haven't got that, and family affection.
-They're among our very strongest characteristics.</p>
-
-<p>Yes, they don't like us. (He looked round at the quiet tea-drinkers.)
-We're too clever perhaps, too sharp, too go-ahead. <i>Nous</i>, that's what
-we've got, <i>Nous</i>, and they don't like it, eh? But they can't deny us
-our other virtues&mdash;sentiment and family affection. Now look at the
-Titanic disaster: who was it refused to get into the boats, unless her
-husband went too? Who met death hand in hand with him? Eh? A Jewess!
-There you are! Her children rise up and call her blessed: her husband
-also and he praiseth her!</p>
-
-<p>I put that verse from Proverbs on my poor wife's tombstone. I remember
-standing in front of it, and reading it over and over again that day,
-the day I'm talking about. My dear Sir, I felt utterly wretched,
-standing there in that cold wet cemetery, with all those white
-tombstones round me and a damp yellow November fog. I put some beautiful
-white flowers on her grave.</p>
-
-<p>The cemetery-keeper had given me some glass gallipots to stand the
-flowers in, and, as I left, I thought I would give him a shilling. He
-was standing near the gates. By Jove! You couldn't mistake him for
-anything but a Jew. His arms hung down from his shoulders in that
-curious, loose, limp way&mdash;you know it?&mdash;it makes the clothes look
-as if they didn't belong to the man who is wearing them. Clever cunning
-grey eyes, gold pince-nez, and a nose, by Jove, Sir, one of the best, one
-of those noses, white and shiny, which, when you look at it full face,
-seems almost flat on the face, but immensely broad, curving down, like a
-broad highroad from between the bushy eye-brows down over the lips. And
-side face, it was colossal; it stood out like an elephant's trunk with
-its florid curves and scrolls.</p>
-
-<p>I was, as I say, utterly wretched. I wanted someone to talk to, and
-though I didn't expect to get much comfort out of a cemetery-keeper, I
-said by way of conversation, as I gave him a shilling:</p>
-
-<p>"You keep these gardens very nicely."</p>
-
-<p>He looked at me over the gold rims of his glasses:</p>
-
-<p>"We do our best. I haven't been here long, you know, but I do my best.
-And a man can't do more, now <i>can</i> he?"</p>
-
-<p>"No" I said, "he can't."</p>
-
-<p>He put his head on one side, and looked at a tombstone near by: it was
-tilted over to one side, blackened by the soot to a dirty yellow colour,
-the plaster peeling off. There was one dirty scraggy evergreen growing
-on the grave. There was a text on the stone, I remember, something about
-the righteous nourishing like the bay-tree.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course one can't do everything. Look at that now. Some people don't
-do anything, never come near the place, don't spend a penny on their
-graves. Then of course they go like that. It will get worse and worse,
-for we only bury reserves here now. Sometimes it ain't anyone's fault:
-families die out, the graves are forgotten. It don't look nice, but
-well, I say, what does it matter after all? When I'm dead, they may
-chuck me on the dung-hill, for all I care."</p>
-
-<p>He looked down his nose at the rows and rows of dirty white
-grave-stones, which were under his charge, critically, with an air of
-hostility, as if they had done him some wrong.</p>
-
-<p>"You don't perhaps believe in a life after death?" I said.</p>
-
-<p>He pushed his hands well down into the pockets of his long overcoat,
-hugged himself together, and looked up at the yellow sky and dirty
-yellow houses, looming over the cemetery.</p>
-
-<p>"No I don't," he said with conviction. "It ain't likely. Nobody knows
-anything about it. It ain't likely, is it?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, but what about the Bible?"</p>
-
-<p>His cold grey eyes looked at me steadily over the gold pince-nez.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not sure there's much in the Bible about it, eh? And one can't
-believe everything in the Bible. There's the Almighty of course, well,
-who can say? He may exist, he may not&mdash;I say I don't know. But a life
-hereafter, I don't believe in it. One don't have to believe everything
-now: it was different when I was young. You had to believe everything
-then; you had to believe everything they told you in Schul. Now you may
-think for yourself. And <i>mind you</i>, it don't <i>do</i> to think too
-much: if you think too much about those things, you go mad, raving mad.
-What I say is, lead a pure clean life here, and you'll get your reward
-here. I've seen it in my own case: I wasn't always in a job like this. I
-had a business once, things went wrong through no fault of mine, and I lost
-everything&mdash;everything sold up except an old wooden bed. Ah, those
-were hard times, I can tell you! Then I got offered this job&mdash;it ain't
-very good, but I thought to myself: well, there'll be a comfortable home
-for my wife and my two boys as long as I live. I've tried to live a clean
-life, and I shall have better times now, eh?</p>
-
-<p>I thought of my own wife and my motherless children: my sadness
-increased. And I thought of our race, its traditions and its faith, how
-they are vanishing in the life that surrounds us. The old spirit, the
-old faith, they had kept alive hot and vigorous&mdash;for how many
-centuries?&mdash;when we were spat upon, outcasts. But now they are cold
-and feeble, vanishing in the universal disbelief. I looked at the man under
-the shadow of the dirty yellow London fog and the squalid yellow London
-houses. "This man," I thought to myself, "a mere keeper of graves is
-touched by it as much as I am. He isn't a Jew now any more than I am.
-We're Jews only externally now, in our black hair and our large noses,
-in the way we stand and the way we walk. But inside we're Jews no
-longer. Even <i>he</i> doesn't believe, the keeper of Jewish graves! The
-old spirit, the ancient faith has gone out of him."</p>
-
-<p>I was wrong; I know now, and I'll tell you how I came to see it. The
-spirit's still there all right; it comes out under the apple-blossom,
-eh?, and it came out among the tombs too.</p>
-
-<p>The next time I saw him was another November day, an English, a London
-day; O Lord, his nose showed in it very white and florid under the
-straight houses and the chimney-pots and the heavy, melancholy dripping
-sky. I had married in the meantime, and my wife&mdash;like the good soul
-that she is&mdash;had come with me to put flowers on my poor Rebecca's
-grave&mdash;another anniversary you see. Yes, I was happy&mdash;I don't
-mind telling you so&mdash;even at my poor Rebecca's graveside.</p>
-
-<p>He was standing there in the same place, in a black top-hat and a great
-black overcoat, looking at the tombstones over the top of his
-gold-rimmed glasses. All the cares of the world seemed to be weighing
-down his sloping shoulders.</p>
-
-<p>"Good day", he said to me, just touching the brim of his hat.</p>
-
-<p>"Well", I said, "and how's the world going with you?"</p>
-
-<p>He fixed me with his hard grey eyes that had a look of pain in them, and
-said in a tone which had neither reverence nor irony in it, nor indeed
-any feeling at all:</p>
-
-<p>"The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the
-Lord. I buried my poor wife last Thursday".</p>
-
-<p>There was an awkward silence.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm very sorry to hear that," I said, "very sorry."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes" he said, "The righteous flourish like the bay-tree: they tell us
-that: you see it there on the tombstone."</p>
-
-<p>He put his head on one side and stared at it.</p>
-
-<p>"Vell," he said&mdash;and I noticed for the first time the thick Jewish
-speech&mdash;"vell, its there, so I suppose its true, ain't it? But its
-difficult to see, y' know always. I've often said the only thing we can
-do is to lead a clean life here, a pure life, and we'll get our reward.
-But mine seems to be pretty long in coming," he sighed, "yes pretty
-long, I tell you. I had hard times before: we both of us did, my poor
-wife and I. And then at last I got this job; I thought she was going to
-have a happy peaceful life at last. Nothing very grand in pay, but
-enough to keep us and the two boys. And a nice enough house for her. And
-then as soon as we come here she takes ill and dies, poor soul."</p>
-
-<p>He wiped his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know why I should call her poor soul. She's at rest any way.
-And she made me the best, the very best wife a man could have."</p>
-
-<p>He put his hands well down in the pockets of his overcoat, drew his arms
-to his sides so that he looked like a great black bird folding its wings
-round itself, and rocked himself backwards and forwards, first on his
-toes and then on his heels, looking up at me sideways with wrinkled
-forehead.</p>
-
-<p>"Vell," he said, "EI've got my two boys. I wish you could see 'em. Fine
-young fellows. One earning 30/- a week, though he's only eighteen. He'll
-do well, I tell you; all right up here." He tapped his forehead. "And
-the other, though I'm his father I'm not afraid to tell anyone, he's a
-genius&mdash;he draws, draws beautiful, and paints too, real artistic
-pictures. Ah they're good lads&mdash;a bit wild, the elder one&mdash;" he
-lowered his voice and showed his teeth in a grin, "he's got an eye for the
-petticoats, but then boys will be boys. I daresay I was the same
-myself."</p>
-
-<p>I didn't altogether like the grin, with my wife standing there, so I
-gave him a shilling and went. I've seen him once more: the day came
-round again, and I took my boy this time, dear little chap, to see his
-mother's grave. And Fanny came too,&mdash;ah, she's a mother to those
-motherless children.</p>
-
-<p>There he was standing in the same place, in his top-hat and seedy black
-coat. I saw at once that things were not right with him. His clothes
-seemed to hang on him as if he were merely an old clothes prop; his old
-bowed shoulders sloped more than ever. His face was grey, pasty,
-terribly lined, and his nose more white and shiny than ever. Seedy was
-the word for him, seedy inside and out, seedy through and through. He
-was beaten, degraded, down, gone under, gone all to bits. And yet
-somehow he looked as if that was just what hadn't happened&mdash;he hadn't
-gone all to bits: there was something in him that still stood up and
-held him together, something like a rock which, beaten and buffeted,
-still held out indomitable.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, and how are you?" I asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Poorly," he said in a flat voice, "poorly&mdash;I'm not what I
-was."</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing serious, I hope?"</p>
-
-<p>"Vell, I'm not on my back yet."</p>
-
-<p>"And the boys? They're still doing well, I hope."</p>
-
-<p>A sort of rigidity came over him: he eyed me furtively and yet
-sternly.</p>
-
-<p>"Boys? I've only one boy."</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, I'm sorry, very sorry to&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"No, no, it's not what you think, not that. I've had trouble, but not
-that. That eldest boy of mine, he's no longer my son&mdash;&mdash;I have
-done with him; I have only one son now."</p>
-
-<p>There was nothing dejected, nothing humble in him now. He seemed to draw
-himself together, to become taller. A stiff-necked race, I thought!</p>
-
-<p>"If you ask me how many sons I've got, I say only one, only one. That
-fellow isn't my son at all. I had a servant girl here working in my
-house, a Christian serving girl&mdash;and he married her behind my back. He
-asks me to sit down to meat with a girl, a Christian girl, who worked in
-my house&mdash;I can't do it. I'm not proud, but there are some
-things&mdash;If he had come to me and said: "Dad, I want to marry a
-girl"&mdash;a really nice girl&mdash;"but she's not one of us: will you
-give me your permission and blessing?" Well I don't believe in it. Our
-women are as good, better than Christian women. Aren't they as beautiful,
-as clever, as good wives? I know my poor mother, God rest her soul, used to
-say: "My son," she said, "if you come to me and say you want to marry a
-good girl, a Jewess, I don't care whether she hasn't a chemise to her back,
-I'll welcome her&mdash;but if you marry a Christian, if she's as rich as
-Solomon, I've done with you&mdash;don't you ever dare to come into my house
-again." Vell, I don't go as far as that, though I understand it. Times
-change: I might have received his wife, even though she was a Goy. But a
-servant girl who washed my dishes! I couldn't do it. One must have some
-dignity."</p>
-
-<p>He stood there upright, stern, noble: a battered scarred old rock, but
-immovable under his seedy black coat. I couldn't offer him a shilling; I
-shook his hand, and left him brooding over his son and his graves.</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<img src="images/figure02.jpg" width="300" alt="400" />
-</div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<hr class="r5" />
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<img src="images/figure03.jpg" width="300" alt="400" />
-</div>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="THE_MARK_ON_THE_WALL">THE MARK ON THE WALL</a></h4>
-
-<h5>By</h5>
-
-<h4>VIRGINIA WOOLF</h4>
-
-
-<p>Perhaps it was the middle of January in the present year that I first
-looked up and saw the mark on the wall. In order to fix a date it is
-necessary to remember what one saw. So now I think of the fire; the
-steady film of yellow light upon the page of my book; the three
-chrysanthemums in the round glass bowl on the mantelpiece. Yes, it must
-have been the winter time, and we had just finished our tea, for I
-remember that I was smoking a cigarette when I looked up and saw the
-mark on the wall for the first time. I looked up through the smoke of my
-cigarette and my eye lodged for a moment upon the burning coals, and
-that old fancy of the crimson flag flapping from the castle tower came
-into my mind, and I thought of the cavalcade of red knights riding up
-the side of the black rock. Rather to my relief the sight of the mark
-interrupted the fancy, for it is an old fancy, an automatic fancy, made
-as a child perhaps. The mark was a small round mark, black upon the
-white wall, about six or seven inches above the mantelpiece.</p>
-
-<p>How readily our thoughts swarm upon a new object, lifting it a little
-way, as ants carry a blade of straw so feverishly, and then leave it . .
-. . . . If that mark was made by a nail, it can't have been for a
-picture, it must have been for a miniature&mdash;the miniature of a lady
-with white powdered curls, powder-dusted cheeks, and lips like red
-carnations. A fraud of course, for the people who had this house before
-us would have chosen pictures in that way&mdash;an old picture for an old
-room. That is the sort of people they were&mdash;very interesting people,
-and I think of them so often, in such queer places, because one will never
-see them again, never know what happened next. She wore a flannel dog
-collar round her throat, and he drew posters for an oatmeal company, and
-they wanted to leave this house because they wanted to change their
-style of furniture, so he said, and he was in process of saying that in
-his opinion art should have ideas behind it when we were torn asunder,
-as one is torn from the old lady about to pour out tea and the young man
-about to hit the tennis ball in the back garden of the suburban villa as
-one rushes past in the train.</p>
-
-<p>But as for that mark, I'm not sure about it; I don't believe it was made
-by a nail after all; its too big, too round for that. I might get up,
-but if I got up and looked at it, ten to one I shouldn't be able to say
-for certain; because once a thing's done, no one ever knows how it
-happened. O dear me, the mystery of life! The inaccuracy of thought! The
-ignorance of humanity! To show how very little control of our
-possessions we have&mdash;what an accidental affair this living is after
-all our civilisation&mdash;let me just count over a few of the things lost
-in one lifetime, beginning, for that seems always the most mysterious of
-all loses&mdash;what cat would gnaw, what rat would nibble&mdash;three pale
-blue canisters of book-binding tools? Then there were the bird cages, the
-iron hoops, the steel skates, the Queen Anne coal-scuttle, the bagatelle
-board, the hand organ&mdash;all gone, and jewels too. Opals and emeralds,
-they lie about the root of turnips. What a scraping paring affair it is
-to be sure! The wonder is that I've any clothes on my back, that I sit
-surrounded by solid furniture at this moment. Why, if one wants to
-compare life to anything, one must liken it to being blown through the
-Tube at fifty miles an hour&mdash;landing at the other end without a single
-hair pin in one's hair! Shot out at the feet of God entirely naked!
-Tumbling head over heels in the asphodel meadows like brown paper
-parcels pitched down a shoot in the post office! With one's hair flying
-back like the tail of a race horse. Yes, that seems to express the
-rapidity of life, the perpetual waste and repair; all so casual, all so
-haphazard. . . .</p>
-
-<p>But after life. The slow pulling down of thick green stalks so that the
-cup of the flower as it turns over deluges one with purple and red
-light. Why, after all, should one not be born there as one is born here,
-helpless, speechless, unable to focus one's eyesight, groping at the
-roots of the grass, at the toes of the Giants? As for saying which are
-trees, and which are men and women, or whether there are such things,
-that one won't be in a condition to do for fifty years or so. There will
-be nothing but spaces of light and dark, intersected by thick stalks,
-and rather higher up perhaps, rose-shaped blots of an indistinct
-colour&mdash;dim pinks and blues&mdash;which will, as time goes on, become
-more definite, become&mdash;I don't know what.</p>
-
-<p>And yet that mark on the wall is not a hole at all. It may even be
-caused by some round black substance, such as a small rose leaf,
-left over from the summer, and I, not being a very vigilant
-house-keeper&mdash;look at the dust on the mantelpiece, for example, the
-dust which, so they say, buried Troy three times over, only fragments of
-pots utterly refusing annihilation, as one can believe. But I know a
-house-keeper, a woman with the profile of a policeman, those little
-round buttons marked even upon the edge of her shadow, a woman with a
-broom in her hand, a thumb on picture frames, an eye under beds and she
-talks always of art. She is coming nearer and nearer; and now, pointing
-to certain spots of yellow rust on the fender, she becomes so menacing
-that to oust her, I shall have to end her by taking action: I shall have
-to get up and see for myself what that mark&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>But no. I refuse to be beaten. I will not move. I will not recognise
-her. See, she fades already. I am very nearly rid of her and her
-insinuations, which I can hear quite distinctly. Yet she has about her
-the pathos of all people who wish to compromise. And why should I resent
-the fact that she has a few books in her house, a picture or two? But
-what I really resent is that she resents me&mdash;life being an affair of
-attack and defence after all. Another time I will have it out with her,
-not now. She must go now. The tree outside the window taps very gently
-on the pane. I want to think quietly, calmly, spaciously, never to be
-interrupted, never to have to rise from my chair, to slip easily from
-one thing to another, without any sense of hostility, or obstacle. I
-want to sink deeper and deeper, away from the surface, with its hard
-separate facts. To steady myself, let me catch hold of the first idea
-that passes. Shakespeare. Well, he will do as well as another. A man who
-sat himself solidly in an arm-chair, and looked into the fire, so&mdash;A
-shower of ideas fell perpetually from some very high Heaven down through
-his mind. He leant his forehead on his hand, and people looking in
-through the open door, for this scene is supposed to take place on a
-summer's evening,&mdash;But how dull this is, this historical fiction! It
-doesn't interest me at all. I wish I could hit upon a pleasant track of
-thought, a track indirectly reflecting credit upon myself, for those are
-the pleasantest thoughts, and very frequent even in the minds of modest
-mouse-coloured people, who believe genuinely that they dislike to hear
-their own praises. They are not thoughts directly praising oneself; that
-is the beauty of them; they are thoughts like this.</p>
-
-<p>"And then I came into the room. They were discussing botany. I said how
-I'd seen a flower growing on a dust heap on the site of an old house in
-Kingsway. The seed, I said, must have been sown in the reign of Charles
-the First. What flowers grew in the reign of Charles the First? I
-asked&mdash;(but I don't remember the answer). Tall flowers with purple
-tassels to them perhaps. And so it goes on. All the time I'm dressing up
-the figure of myself in my own mind lovingly, stealthily, not openly
-adoring it, for if I did that, I should catch myself out, and stretch my
-hand at once for a book in self protection. Indeed, it is curious how
-instinctively one protects the image of oneself from idolatry or any
-other handling that could make it ridiculous, or too unlike the original
-to be believed in any longer. Or is it not so very curious after all? It
-is a matter of great importance. Suppose the looking glass smashes, the
-image disappears, and the romantic figure with the green of forest
-depths all about it is there no longer, but only that shell of a person
-which is seen by other people&mdash;what an airless shallow, bald,
-prominent world it becomes! A world not to be lived in. As we face each
-other in omnibuses and underground railways we are looking into the mirror;
-that accounts for the expression in our vague and almost glassy eyes. And
-the novelists in future will realise more and more the importance of these
-reflections, for of course there is not one reflection but an almost
-infinite number; those are the depths they will explore, those the
-phantoms they will pursue, leaving the description of reality more and
-more out of their stories, taking a knowledge of it for granted, as the
-Greeks did and Shakespeare perhaps; but these generalisations are very
-worthless. The military sound of the word is enough. It recalls leading
-articles, cabinet ministers&mdash;a whole class of things indeed which as a
-child one thought the thing itself, the standard thing, the real thing,
-from which one could not depart save at the risk of nameless damnation.
-Generalisations bring back somehow Sunday in London, Sunday afternoon
-walks, Sunday luncheons, and also ways of speaking of the dead, clothes
-and habits&mdash;like the habit of sitting all together in one room until a
-certain hour, although nobody liked it. There was a rule for everything.
-The rule for tablecloths at that particular period was that they should
-be made of tapestry with little yellow compartments marked upon them,
-such as you may see in photographs of the carpets in the corridors of
-the royal palaces. Tablecloths of a different kind were not real
-tablecloths. How shocking and yet how wonderful it was to discover that
-these real things, Sunday luncheons, Sunday walks, country houses, and
-tablecloths were not entirely real, were indeed half phantoms, and the
-damnation which visited the disbeliever in them was only a sense of
-illegitimate freedom. What now takes the place of those things, I
-wonder, those real standard things? Men perhaps, should you be a woman;
-the masculine point of view which governs our lives, which sets the
-standard, which establishes Whitaker's Table of Precedency, which has
-become, I suppose, since the war half a phantom to many men and women,
-which soon one may hope will be laughed into the dustbin where the
-phantoms go, the mahogany sideboards and Landseer prints, Gods and
-Devils, Hell and so forth, leaving us all with an intoxicating sense of
-illegitimate freedom&mdash;if freedom exists.</p>
-
-<p>In certain lights, that mark on the wall seems actually to project from
-the wall. Nor is it entirely circular. I cannot be sure, but it seems to
-cast a perceptible shadow, suggesting that if I ran my finger down that
-strip of the wall it would at a certain point mount and descend a small
-tumulus, a smooth tumulus like those barrows on the South Downs which
-are, they say, either tombs or camps. Of the two I should prefer them to
-be tombs, desiring melancholy like most English people and finding it
-natural at the end of a walk to think of the bones stretched beneath the
-turf. There must be some book about it. Some antiquary must have dug up
-those bones and given them a name. What sort of man is an antiquary, I
-wonder? Retired colonels for the most part, I daresay, leading parties
-of aged labourers to the top here, examining clods of earth and stone,
-and getting into correspondence with the neighbouring clergy, which
-being opened at breakfast time gives them a feeling of importance, and
-the comparison of arrowheads necessitates cross country journeys to the
-county towns, an agreeable necessity both to them and to their elderly
-wives, who wish to make plum jam, or to clean out the study, and have
-every reason for keeping that great question of the camp or the tomb in
-perpetual suspension, while the Colonel himself feels agreeably
-philosophic in accumulating evidence on both sides of the question. It
-is true that he does finally incline to believe in the camp; and, being
-opposed, casts all his arrowheads into one scale, and being still
-further opposed, indites a pamphlet which he is about to read at the
-quarterly meeting of the local society when a stroke lays him low, and
-his last conscious thoughts are not of wire or child, but of the camp
-and that arrow-head there which is now in the case at the local museum,
-together with the hand of a Chinese murderess, a handful of Elizabethan
-nails, a great many Tudor clay pipes a piece of Roman pottery, and the
-wine-glass that Nelson drank out of&mdash;proving I really don't know
-what.</p>
-
-<p>No, no, nothing is proved, nothing is known. And if I were to get up at
-this very moment and ascertain that the mark on the wall is really&mdash;what
-shall we say?&mdash;the head of a gigantic old nail, driven in two hundred
-years ago which has now, owing to the patient attrition of many
-generations of housemaids, revealed its head above the coat of paint,
-and is taking its first view of modern life in the sight of a
-white-walled fire-lit room, what should I gain? Knowledge? Matter for
-further speculation? I can think sitting still as well as standing up.
-And what is knowledge? What are our learned men save the descendants of
-witches and hermits who crouched in caves and in woods brewing herbs,
-interrogating shrew-mice, and writing down the language of the stars?
-And the less we honour them as our superstitions dwindle and our respect
-for beauty and health of mind increases. . . . . Yes, one could imagine
-a very pleasant world. A quiet spacious world, with the flowers so red
-and blue in the open fields. A world without professors or specialists
-or house-keepers with the profiles of policemen, a world which one could
-slice with ones thought as a fish slices the water with his fin, grazing
-the stems of the water-lilies, and hanging suspended over nests of white
-sea eggs. . . . . . How peaceful it is down here, rooted into the centre
-of the world and gazing up through the gray waters, with their sudden
-gleams of light, and their reflections&mdash;If it were not for Whitakers
-Almanack&mdash;if it were not for the Table of Precedency!</p>
-
-<p>I must jump up and see for myself what that mark on the wall really
-is&mdash;a nail, a rose-leaf, a crack in the wood?</p>
-
-<p>Here is Nature once more at her old game of self-preservation. This
-train of thought, she perceives, is threatening mere waste of energy,
-even some collision with reality, for who will ever be able to lift a
-finger against Whitaker's Table of Precedency? The Archbishop of
-Canterbury is followed by the Lord High Chancellor; the Lord High
-Chancellor is followed by the Archbishop of York. Everybody follows
-somebody, such is the philosophy of Whitaker; and the great thing is to
-know who follows whom. Whitaker knows, and let that, so Nature counsels,
-comfort you, instead of enraging you; and if you can't be comforted, if
-you must shatter this hour of peace, think of the mark on the wall.</p>
-
-<p>I understand Nature's game&mdash;her prompting to take action as a way
-of ending any thought that threatens to excite or to pain. Hence, I
-suppose, comes our slight contempt for men of action, men, we assume,
-who don't think. Still, there's no harm in putting a full stop to one's
-disagreeable thoughts by looking at a mark on the wall.</p>
-
-<p>Indeed, now that I have fixed my eyes upon it, I feel I have grasped a
-plank in the sea; I feel a satisfying sense of reality which at once
-turns the two Archbishops and the Lord High Chancellor to the shadows of
-shades. Here is something definite, something real. Thus, waking from a
-midnight dream of horror one hastily turns on the light and lies
-quiescent, worshipping the chest of drawers, worshipping solidity,
-worshipping reality, worshipping the impersonal world which is a proof
-of some existence other than ours. That is what one wants to be sure
-of.... Wood is a pleasant thing to think about. It comes from a tree;
-and trees grow and we don't know how they grow. For years and years they
-grow without paying any attention to us, in meadows, in forests and by the
-side of rivers&mdash;all things one likes to think about. The cows swish
-their tails beneath them on hot afternoons; they paint rivers so green
-that when a moor-hen dives one expects to see its feathers all green
-when it comes up again. I like to think of the fish balanced against the
-stream like flags blown out; and of water-beetles slowly raising domes
-of mud upon the bed of the river. I like to think of the tree itself;
-first the close dry sensation of being wood; then there is the grinding
-of the storm; then the slow, delicious ooze of sap. I like to think of
-it too on winter's nights standing in the empty field with all leaves
-close-furled, nothing tender exposed to the iron bullets of the moon, a
-naked mast upon an earth that goes tumbling, tumbling, all night long.
-The song of birds must sound very loud and strange in June; and how cold
-the feet of insects must feel upon it, as they make laborious progresses
-up the creases of the bark, or sun themselves upon the thin green awning
-of the leaves, and look straight in front of them with huge diamond-cut
-red eyes. One by one the fibres snap beneath the immense cold pressure
-of the earth; then the last storm comes and, falling, the highest
-branches drive deep into the ground again. Even so, life isn't done
-with; there are a million patient, watchful lives still for a tree, all
-over the world, in bed-rooms, in ships, on the pavement, lining rooms
-where men and women sit after tea smoking their cigarettes. It is full
-of peaceful thoughts, happy thoughts, this tree. I should like to take
-each one separately&mdash;but something is getting in the way ... Where was
-I? What has it all been about? A tree? A river? The Downs, Whitaker's
-Almanack, the fields of asphodel? I can't remember a thing. Everything's
-moving, falling, slipping, vanishing... There is a vast upheaval of
-matter. Someone is standing over me and saying&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>"I'm going out to buy a newspaper."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?"</p>
-
-<p>"Though it's no good, buying newspapers....... Nothing ever happens.
-Curse this war! God damn this war!... All the same, I don't see why we
-should have a snail on our wall."</p>
-
-<p>Ah, the mark on the wall! For it was a snail.</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<img src="images/figure04.jpg" width="300" alt="400" />
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Two Stories, by Virginia Woolf and Leonard Woolf
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-Project Gutenberg's Two Stories, by Virginia Woolf and Leonard Woolf
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Two Stories
-
-Author: Virginia Woolf
- Leonard Woolf
-
-Illustrator: Dora Carrington
-
-Release Date: September 18, 2020 [EBook #63230]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO STORIES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Laura Natal Rodrigues at Free Literature (Images
-generously made available by British Library.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-PUBLICATION NO. I.
-
-TWO STORIES
-
-
-WRITTEN AND PRINTED
-
-BY
-
-VIRGINIA WOOLF
-
-AND
-
-L. S. WOOLF
-
-
-HOGARTH PRESS
-RICHMOND
-
-1917
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-THREE JEWS By L. S. WOOLF
-THE MARK ON THE WALL By VIRGINIA WOOLF
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-THREE JEWS
-
-By
-
-LEONARD WOOLF.
-
-
-It was a Sunday and the first day of spring, the first day on which one
-felt at any rate spring in the air. It blew in at my window with its
-warm breath, with its inevitable little touch of sadness. I felt
-restless, and I had nowhere to go to; everyone I knew was out of town. I
-looked out of my window at the black trees breaking into bud, the tulips
-and the hyacinths that even London could not rob of their reds and blues
-and yellows, the delicate spring sunshine on the asphalt, and the pale
-blue sky that the chimney pots broke into. I found myself muttering
-"damn it" for no very obvious reason. It was spring, I suppose, the
-first stirring of the blood.
-
-I wanted to see clean trees, and the sun shine upon grass; I wanted
-flowers and leaves unsoiled by soot; I wanted to see and smell the
-earth; above all I wanted the horizon. I felt that something was waiting
-for me beyond the houses and the chimney-pots: I should find it where
-earth and sky meet. I didn't of course but I took the train to Kew.
-
-If I did not find in Kew the place where earth and sky meet or even the
-smell of the earth, I saw at any rate the sun upon the brown bark of
-trees and the delicate green of grass. It was spring there, English
-spring with its fresh warm breath, and its pale blue sky above the
-trees. Yes, the quiet orderly English spring that embraced and sobered
-even the florid luxuriance of great flowers bursting in white cascades
-over strange tropical trees.
-
-And the spring had brought the people out into the gardens, the quiet
-orderly English people. It was the first stirring of the blood. It had
-stirred them to come out in couples, in family parties, in tight
-matronly black dresses, in drab coats and trousers in dowdy skirts and
-hats. It had stirred some to come in elegant costumes and morning suits
-and spats. They looked at the flaunting tropical trees, and made jokes,
-and chaffed one another, and laughed not very loud. They were happy in
-their quiet orderly English way, happy in the warmth of the sunshine,
-happy to be among quiet trees, and to feel the soft grass under their
-feet. They did not run about or shout, they walked slowly, quietly,
-taking care to keep off the edges of the grass because the notices told
-them to do so.
-
-It was very warm, very pleasant, and very tiring. I wandered cut at last
-through the big gates, and was waved by a man with a napkin--he stood on
-the pavement--through a Georgian house into a garden studded with white
-topped tables and dirty ricketty chairs. It was crowded with people, and
-I sat down at the only vacant table, and watched them eating plum-cake
-and drinking tea quietly, soberly, under the gentle apple-blossom.
-
-A man came up the garden looking quickly from side to side for an empty
-place. I watched him in a tired lazy way. There was a bustle and roll
-and energy in his walk. I noticed the thickness of his legs above the
-knee, the arms that hung so loosely and limply by his sides as they do
-with people who wear loose hanging clothes without sleeves, his dark fat
-face and the sensual mouth, the great curve of the upper lip and the
-hanging lower one. A clever face, dark and inscrutable, with its large
-mysterious eyes and the heavy lids which went into deep folds at the
-corners.
-
-He stopped near my table, looked at the empty chair and then at me, and
-said:
-
-"Excuse me, Sir, but d'you mind my sitting at your table?"
-
-I noticed the slight thickness of the voice, the overemphasis, and the
-little note of assertiveness in it. I said I didn't mind at all.
-
-He sat down, leaned back in his chair, and took his hat off. He had a
-high forehead, black hair, and well-shaped fat hands.
-
-"Fine day," he said, "wonderfully fine day, the finest day I ever
-remember. Nothing to beat a fine English spring day."
-
-I saw the delicate apple-blossom and the pale blue sky behind his large
-dark head. I smiled. He saw the smile, flushed, and then smiled himself.
-
-"You are amused," he said, still smiling, "I believe I know why."
-
-"Yes," I said, "You knew me at once and I knew you. We show up, don't
-we, under the apple-blossom and this sky. It doesn't belong to us, do
-you wish it did?"
-
-"Ah," he said seriously, "that's the question. Or rather we don't belong
-to it. We belong to Palestine still, but I'm not sure that it doesn't
-belong to us for all that."
-
-"Well, perhaps your version is truer than mine. I'll take it, but
-there's still the question, do you wish _you_ belonged to _it_?"
-
-He wasn't a bit offended. He tilted back his chair, put one thumb in the
-arm-hole of his waistcoat, and looked round the garden. He showed
-abominably concentrated, floridly intelligent, in the thin spring air
-and among the inconspicuous tea-drinkers. He didn't answer my question;
-he was thinking, and when he spoke, he asked another:
-
-"Do you ever go to Synagogue?"
-
-"No."
-
-"Nor do I, except on Yom Kippur. I still go then every year--pure habit.
-I don't believe in it, of course; I believe in nothing--you believe in
-nothing--we're all sceptics. And yet we belong to Palestine still.
-Funny, ain't it? How it comes out! Under the apple-blossom and blue sky,
-as you say, as well as--as--among the tombs."
-
-"Among the tombs?"
-
-"Ah, I was thinking of another man I met. He belongs to Palestine too.
-Shall I tell you about him?"
-
-I said I wished he would. He put his hand's in his pockets and began at
-once.
-
-* * * * * * * * *
-
-The first time I saw him, I remember the day well, as well as yesterday.
-There was no apple-blossom then, a November day, cold, bitter cold, the
-coldest day I remember. It was the anniversary of my poor wife's death.
-She was my first wife, Rebecca. She made me a good wife, I tell you--we
-were very happy. (He took out a white silk pocket handkerchief, opened
-it with something of a flourish, and blew his nose long and loudly. Then
-he continued.)
-
-I buried her at the cemetery in K--Road. You know it? What? No? You must
-know it, the big cemetery near the hospital. You know the hospital at
-any rate? Well, you turn down by it coming from the station, take the
-first turning to the right and the second to the left, and there you
-are. It's a big cemetery, very big, almost as big as Golders Green, and
-they keep the gardens very nicely. Well, my poor wife lies there--my
-first wife, I've married again, you see, and she's living and well,
-thank God--and I went on the first anniversary to visit the grave and
-put flowers on it.
-
-There you are now, there's another curious thing. I often wonder why we
-do it. It's not as if it did anyone any _good._ I don't believe in
-immortality, nor do you, nor do any of us. But I go and put flowers on
-her grave though it won't do her any good, poor soul. It's sentiment, I
-suppose. No one can say we Jews haven't got that, and family affection.
-They're among our very strongest characteristics.
-
-Yes, they don't like us. (He looked round at the quiet tea-drinkers.)
-We're too clever perhaps, too sharp, too go-ahead. _Nous_, that's what
-we've got, _Nous_, and they don't like it, eh? But they can't deny us
-our other virtues--sentiment and family affection. Now look at the
-Titanic disaster: who was it refused to get into the boats, unless her
-husband went too? Who met death hand in hand with him? Eh? A Jewess!
-There you are! Her children rise up and call her blessed: her husband
-also and he praiseth her!
-
-I put that verse from Proverbs on my poor wife's tombstone. I remember
-standing in front of it, and reading it over and over again that day,
-the day I'm talking about. My dear Sir, I felt utterly wretched,
-standing there in that cold wet cemetery, with all those white
-tombstones round me and a damp yellow November fog. I put some beautiful
-white flowers on her grave.
-
-The cemetery-keeper had given me some glass gallipots to stand the
-flowers in, and, as I left, I thought I would give him a shilling. He
-was standing near the gates. By Jove! You couldn't mistake him for
-anything but a Jew. His arms hung down from his shoulders in that
-curious, loose, limp way--you know it?--it makes the clothes look as if
-they didn't belong to the man who is wearing them. Clever cunning grey
-eyes, gold pince-nez, and a nose, by Jove, Sir, one of the best, one of
-those noses, white and shiny, which, when you look at it full face,
-seems almost flat on the face, but immensely broad, curving down, like a
-broad highroad from between the bushy eye-brows down over the lips. And
-side face, it was colossal; it stood out like an elephant's trunk with
-its florid curves and scrolls.
-
-I was, as I say, utterly wretched. I wanted someone to talk to, and
-though I didn't expect to get much comfort out of a cemetery-keeper, I
-said by way of conversation, as I gave him a shilling:
-
-"You keep these gardens very nicely."
-
-He looked at me over the gold rims of his glasses:
-
-"We do our best. I haven't been here long, you know, but I do my best.
-And a man can't do more, now _can_ he?"
-
-"No" I said, "he can't."
-
-He put his head on one side, and looked at a tombstone near by: it was
-tilted over to one side, blackened by the soot to a dirty yellow colour,
-the plaster peeling off. There was one dirty scraggy evergreen growing
-on the grave. There was a text on the stone, I remember, something about
-the righteous nourishing like the bay-tree.
-
-"Of course one can't do everything. Look at that now. Some people don't
-do anything, never come near the place, don't spend a penny on their
-graves. Then of course they go like that. It will get worse and worse,
-for we only bury reserves here now. Sometimes it ain't anyone's fault:
-families die out, the graves are forgotten. It don't look nice, but
-well, I say, what does it matter after all? When I'm dead, they may
-chuck me on the dung-hill, for all I care."
-
-He looked down his nose at the rows and rows of dirty white
-grave-stones, which were under his charge, critically, with an air of
-hostility, as if they had done him some wrong.
-
-"You don't perhaps believe in a life after death?" I said.
-
-He pushed his hands well down into the pockets of his long overcoat,
-hugged himself together, and looked up at the yellow sky and dirty
-yellow houses, looming over the cemetery.
-
-"No I don't," he said with conviction. "It ain't likely. Nobody knows
-anything about it. It ain't likely, is it?"
-
-"No, but what about the Bible?"
-
-His cold grey eyes looked at me steadily over the gold pince-nez.
-
-"I'm not sure there's much in the Bible about it, eh? And one can't
-believe everything in the Bible. There's the Almighty of course, well,
-who can say? He may exist, he may not--I say I don't know. But a life
-hereafter, I don't believe in it. One don't have to believe everything
-now: it was different when I was young. You had to believe everything
-then; you had to believe everything they told you in Schul. Now you may
-think for yourself. And _mind you_, it don't _do_ to think too much: if
-you think too much about those things, you go mad, raving mad. What I
-say is, lead a pure clean life here, and you'll get your reward here.
-I've seen it in my own case: I wasn't always in a job like this. I had a
-business once, things went wrong through no fault of mine, and I lost
-everything--everything sold up except an old wooden bed. Ah, those were
-hard times, I can tell you! Then I got offered this job--it ain't very
-good, but I thought to myself: well, there'll be a comfortable home for
-my wife and my two boys as long as I live. I've tried to live a clean
-life, and I shall have better times now, eh?
-
-I thought of my own wife and my motherless children: my sadness
-increased. And I thought of our race, its traditions and its faith, how
-they are vanishing in the life that surrounds us. The old spirit, the
-old faith, they had kept alive hot and vigorous--for how many
-centuries?--when we were spat upon, outcasts. But now they are cold and
-feeble, vanishing in the universal disbelief. I looked at the man under
-the shadow of the dirty yellow London fog and the squalid yellow London
-houses. "This man," I thought to myself, "a mere keeper of graves is
-touched by it as much as I am. He isn't a Jew now any more than I am.
-We're Jews only externally now, in our black hair and our large noses,
-in the way we stand and the way we walk. But inside we're Jews no
-longer. Even _he_ doesn't believe, the keeper of Jewish graves! The old
-spirit, the ancient faith has gone out of him."
-
-I was wrong; I know now, and I'll tell you how I came to see it. The
-spirit's still there all right; it comes out under the apple-blossom,
-eh?, and it came out among the tombs too.
-
-The next time I saw him was another November day, an English, a London
-day; O Lord, his nose showed in it very white and florid under the
-straight houses and the chimney-pots and the heavy, melancholy dripping
-sky. I had married in the meantime, and my wife--like the good soul that
-she is--had come with me to put flowers on my poor Rebecca's
-grave--another anniversary you see. Yes, I was happy--I don't mind
-telling you so--even at my poor Rebecca's graveside.
-
-He was standing there in the same place, in a black top-hat and a great
-black overcoat, looking at the tombstones over the top of his
-gold-rimmed glasses. All the cares of the world seemed to be weighing
-down his sloping shoulders.
-
-"Good day", he said to me, just touching the brim of his hat.
-
-"Well", I said, "and how's the world going with you?"
-
-He fixed me with his hard grey eyes that had a look of pain in them, and
-said in a tone which had neither reverence nor irony in it, nor indeed
-any feeling at all:
-
-"The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the
-Lord. I buried my poor wife last Thursday".
-
-There was an awkward silence.
-
-"I'm very sorry to hear that," I said, "very sorry."
-
-"Yes" he said, "The righteous flourish like the bay-tree: they tell us
-that: you see it there on the tombstone."
-
-He put his head on one side and stared at it.
-
-"Vell," he said--and I noticed for the first time the thick Jewish
-speech--"vell, its there, so I suppose its true, ain't it? But its
-difficult to see, y' know always. I've often said the only thing we can
-do is to lead a clean life here, a pure life, and we'll get our reward.
-But mine seems to be pretty long in coming," he sighed, "yes pretty
-long, I tell you. I had hard times before: we both of us did, my poor
-wife and I. And then at last I got this job; I thought she was going to
-have a happy peaceful life at last. Nothing very grand in pay, but
-enough to keep us and the two boys. And a nice enough house for her. And
-then as soon as we come here she takes ill and dies, poor soul."
-
-He wiped his eyes.
-
-"I don't know why I should call her poor soul. She's at rest any way.
-And she made me the best, the very best wife a man could have."
-
-He put his hands well down in the pockets of his overcoat, drew his arms
-to his sides so that he looked like a great black bird folding its wings
-round itself, and rocked himself backwards and forwards, first on his
-toes and then on his heels, looking up at me sideways with wrinkled
-forehead.
-
-"Vell," he said, "EI've got my two boys. I wish you could see 'em. Fine
-young fellows. One earning 30/- a week, though he's only eighteen. He'll
-do well, I tell you; all right up here." He tapped his forehead. "And
-the other, though I'm his father I'm not afraid to tell anyone, he's a
-genius--he draws, draws beautiful, and paints too, real artistic
-pictures. Ah they're good lads--a bit wild, the elder one--" he lowered
-his voice and showed his teeth in a grin, "he's got an eye for the
-petticoats, but then boys will be boys. I daresay I was the same
-myself."
-
-I didn't altogether like the grin, with my wife standing there, so I
-gave him a shilling and went. I've seen him once more: the day came
-round again, and I took my boy this time, dear little chap, to see his
-mother's grave. And Fanny came too,--ah, she's a mother to those
-motherless children.
-
-There he was standing in the same place, in his top-hat and seedy black
-coat. I saw at once that things were not right with him. His clothes
-seemed to hang on him as if he were merely an old clothes prop; his old
-bowed shoulders sloped more than ever. His face was grey, pasty,
-terribly lined, and his nose more white and shiny than ever. Seedy was
-the word for him, seedy inside and out, seedy through and through. He
-was beaten, degraded, down, gone under, gone all to bits. And yet
-somehow he looked as if that was just what hadn't happened--he hadn't
-gone all to bits: there was something in him that still stood up and
-held him together, something like a rock which, beaten and buffeted,
-still held out indomitable.
-
-"Well, and how are you?" I asked.
-
-"Poorly," he said in a flat voice, "poorly--I'm not what I was."
-
-"Nothing serious, I hope?"
-
-"Vell, I'm not on my back yet."
-
-"And the boys? They're still doing well, I hope."
-
-A sort of rigidity came over him: he eyed me furtively and yet sternly.
-
-"Boys? I've only one boy."
-
-"Ah, I'm sorry, very sorry to--"
-
-"No, no, it's not what you think, not that. I've had trouble, but not
-that. That eldest boy of mine, he's no longer my son----I have done with
-him; I have only one son now."
-
-There was nothing dejected, nothing humble in him now. He seemed to draw
-himself together, to become taller. A stiff-necked race, I thought!
-
-"If you ask me how many sons I've got, I say only one, only one. That
-fellow isn't my son at all. I had a servant girl here working in my
-house, a Christian serving girl--and he married her behind my back. He
-asks me to sit down to meat with a girl, a Christian girl, who worked in
-my house--I can't do it. I'm not proud, but there are some things--If he
-had come to me and said: "Dad, I want to marry a girl"--a really nice
-girl--"but she's not one of us: will you give me your permission and
-blessing?" Well I don't believe in it. Our women are as good, better
-than Christian women. Aren't they as beautiful, as clever, as good
-wives? I know my poor mother, God rest her soul, used to say: "My son,"
-she said, "if you come to me and say you want to marry a good girl, a
-Jewess, I don't care whether she hasn't a chemise to her back, I'll
-welcome her--but if you marry a Christian, if she's as rich as Solomon,
-I've done with you--don't you ever dare to come into my house again."
-Vell, I don't go as far as that, though I understand it. Times change: I
-might have received his wife, even though she was a Goy. But a servant
-girl who washed my dishes! I couldn't do it. One must have some
-dignity."
-
-He stood there upright, stern, noble: a battered scarred old rock, but
-immovable under his seedy black coat. I couldn't offer him a shilling; I
-shook his hand, and left him brooding over his son and his graves.
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-THE MARK ON THE WALL
-
-By
-
-VIRGINIA WOOLF
-
-
-Perhaps it was the middle of January in the present year that I first
-looked up and saw the mark on the wall. In order to fix a date it is
-necessary to remember what one saw. So now I think of the fire; the
-steady film of yellow light upon the page of my book; the three
-chrysanthemums in the round glass bowl on the mantelpiece. Yes, it must
-have been the winter time, and we had just finished our tea, for I
-remember that I was smoking a cigarette when I looked up and saw the
-mark on the wall for the first time. I looked up through the smoke of my
-cigarette and my eye lodged for a moment upon the burning coals, and
-that old fancy of the crimson flag flapping from the castle tower came
-into my mind, and I thought of the cavalcade of red knights riding up
-the side of the black rock. Rather to my relief the sight of the mark
-interrupted the fancy, for it is an old fancy, an automatic fancy, made
-as a child perhaps. The mark was a small round mark, black upon the
-white wall, about six or seven inches above the mantelpiece.
-
-How readily our thoughts swarm upon a new object, lifting it a little
-way, as ants carry a blade of straw so feverishly, and then leave it . .
-. . . . If that mark was made by a nail, it can't have been for a
-picture, it must have been for a miniature--the miniature of a lady with
-white powdered curls, powder-dusted cheeks, and lips like red
-carnations. A fraud of course, for the people who had this house before
-us would have chosen pictures in that way--an old picture for an old
-room. That is the sort of people they were--very interesting people, and
-I think of them so often, in such queer places, because one will never
-see them again, never know what happened next. She wore a flannel dog
-collar round her throat, and he drew posters for an oatmeal company, and
-they wanted to leave this house because they wanted to change their
-style of furniture, so he said, and he was in process of saying that in
-his opinion art should have ideas behind it when we were torn asunder,
-as one is torn from the old lady about to pour out tea and the young man
-about to hit the tennis ball in the back garden of the suburban villa as
-one rushes past in the train.
-
-But as for that mark, I'm not sure about it; I don't believe it was made
-by a nail after all; its too big, too round for that. I might get up,
-but if I got up and looked at it, ten to one I shouldn't be able to say
-for certain; because once a thing's done, no one ever knows how it
-happened. O dear me, the mystery of life! The inaccuracy of thought! The
-ignorance of humanity! To show how very little control of our
-possessions we have--what an accidental affair this living is after all
-our civilisation--let me just count over a few of the things lost in one
-lifetime, beginning, for that seems always the most mysterious of all
-loses--what cat would gnaw, what rat would nibble--three pale blue
-canisters of book-binding tools? Then there were the bird cages, the
-iron hoops, the steel skates, the Queen Anne coal-scuttle, the bagatelle
-board, the hand organ--all gone, and jewels too. Opals and emeralds,
-they lie about the root of turnips. What a scraping paring affair it is
-to be sure! The wonder is that I've any clothes on my back, that I sit
-surrounded by solid furniture at this moment. Why, if one wants to
-compare life to anything, one must liken it to being blown through the
-Tube at fifty miles an hour--landing at the other end without a single
-hair pin in one's hair! Shot out at the feet of God entirely naked!
-Tumbling head over heels in the asphodel meadows like brown paper
-parcels pitched down a shoot in the post office! With one's hair flying
-back like the tail of a race horse. Yes, that seems to express the
-rapidity of life, the perpetual waste and repair; all so casual, all so
-haphazard. . . .
-
-But after life. The slow pulling down of thick green stalks so that the
-cup of the flower as it turns over deluges one with purple and red
-light. Why, after all, should one not be born there as one is born here,
-helpless, speechless, unable to focus one's eyesight, groping at the
-roots of the grass, at the toes of the Giants? As for saying which are
-trees, and which are men and women, or whether there are such things,
-that one won't be in a condition to do for fifty years or so. There will
-be nothing but spaces of light and dark, intersected by thick stalks,
-and rather higher up perhaps, rose-shaped blots of an indistinct
-colour--dim pinks and blues--which will, as time goes on, become more
-definite, become--I don't know what.
-
-And yet that mark on the wall is not a hole at all. It may even be
-caused by some round black substance, such as a small rose leaf,
-left over from the summer, and I, not being a very vigilant
-house-keeper--look at the dust on the mantelpiece, for example, the dust
-which, so they say, buried Troy three times over, only fragments of pots
-utterly refusing annihilation, as one can believe. But I know a
-house-keeper, a woman with the profile of a policeman, those little
-round buttons marked even upon the edge of her shadow, a woman with a
-broom in her hand, a thumb on picture frames, an eye under beds and she
-talks always of art. She is coming nearer and nearer; and now, pointing
-to certain spots of yellow rust on the fender, she becomes so menacing
-that to oust her, I shall have to end her by taking action: I shall have
-to get up and see for myself what that mark--
-
-But no. I refuse to be beaten. I will not move. I will not recognise
-her. See, she fades already. I am very nearly rid of her and her
-insinuations, which I can hear quite distinctly. Yet she has about her
-the pathos of all people who wish to compromise. And why should I resent
-the fact that she has a few books in her house, a picture or two? But
-what I really resent is that she resents me--life being an affair of
-attack and defence after all. Another time I will have it out with her,
-not now. She must go now. The tree outside the window taps very gently
-on the pane. I want to think quietly, calmly, spaciously, never to be
-interrupted, never to have to rise from my chair, to slip easily from
-one thing to another, without any sense of hostility, or obstacle. I
-want to sink deeper and deeper, away from the surface, with its hard
-separate facts. To steady myself, let me catch hold of the first idea
-that passes. Shakespeare. Well, he will do as well as another. A man who
-sat himself solidly in an arm-chair, and looked into the fire, so--A
-shower of ideas fell perpetually from some very high Heaven down through
-his mind. He leant his forehead on his hand, and people looking in
-through the open door, for this scene is supposed to take place on a
-summer's evening,--But how dull this is, this historical fiction! It
-doesn't interest me at all. I wish I could hit upon a pleasant track of
-thought, a track indirectly reflecting credit upon myself, for those are
-the pleasantest thoughts, and very frequent even in the minds of modest
-mouse-coloured people, who believe genuinely that they dislike to hear
-their own praises. They are not thoughts directly praising oneself; that
-is the beauty of them; they are thoughts like this.
-
-"And then I came into the room. They were discussing botany. I said how
-I'd seen a flower growing on a dust heap on the site of an old house in
-Kingsway. The seed, I said, must have been sown in the reign of Charles
-the First. What flowers grew in the reign of Charles the First? I
-asked--(but I don't remember the answer). Tall flowers with purple
-tassels to them perhaps. And so it goes on. All the time I'm dressing up
-the figure of myself in my own mind lovingly, stealthily, not openly
-adoring it, for if I did that, I should catch myself out, and stretch my
-hand at once for a book in self protection. Indeed, it is curious how
-instinctively one protects the image of oneself from idolatry or any
-other handling that could make it ridiculous, or too unlike the original
-to be believed in any longer. Or is it not so very curious after all? It
-is a matter of great importance. Suppose the looking glass smashes, the
-image disappears, and the romantic figure with the green of forest
-depths all about it is there no longer, but only that shell of a person
-which is seen by other people--what an airless shallow, bald, prominent
-world it becomes! A world not to be lived in. As we face each other in
-omnibuses and underground railways we are looking into the mirror; that
-accounts for the expression in our vague and almost glassy eyes. And the
-novelists in future will realise more and more the importance of these
-reflections, for of course there is not one reflection but an almost
-infinite number; those are the depths they will explore, those the
-phantoms they will pursue, leaving the description of reality more and
-more out of their stories, taking a knowledge of it for granted, as the
-Greeks did and Shakespeare perhaps; but these generalisations are very
-worthless. The military sound of the word is enough. It recalls leading
-articles, cabinet ministers--a whole class of things indeed which as a
-child one thought the thing itself, the standard thing, the real thing,
-from which one could not depart save at the risk of nameless damnation.
-Generalisations bring back somehow Sunday in London, Sunday afternoon
-walks, Sunday luncheons, and also ways of speaking of the dead, clothes
-and habits--like the habit of sitting all together in one room until a
-certain hour, although nobody liked it. There was a rule for everything.
-The rule for tablecloths at that particular period was that they should
-be made of tapestry with little yellow compartments marked upon them,
-such as you may see in photographs of the carpets in the corridors of
-the royal palaces. Tablecloths of a different kind were not real
-tablecloths. How shocking and yet how wonderful it was to discover that
-these real things, Sunday luncheons, Sunday walks, country houses, and
-tablecloths were not entirely real, were indeed half phantoms, and the
-damnation which visited the disbeliever in them was only a sense of
-illegitimate freedom. What now takes the place of those things, I
-wonder, those real standard things? Men perhaps, should you be a woman;
-the masculine point of view which governs our lives, which sets the
-standard, which establishes Whitaker's Table of Precedency, which has
-become, I suppose, since the war half a phantom to many men and women,
-which soon one may hope will be laughed into the dustbin where the
-phantoms go, the mahogany sideboards and Landseer prints, Gods and
-Devils, Hell and so forth, leaving us all with an intoxicating sense of
-illegitimate freedom--if freedom exists.
-
-In certain lights, that mark on the wall seems actually to project from
-the wall. Nor is it entirely circular. I cannot be sure, but it seems to
-cast a perceptible shadow, suggesting that if I ran my finger down that
-strip of the wall it would at a certain point mount and descend a small
-tumulus, a smooth tumulus like those barrows on the South Downs which
-are, they say, either tombs or camps. Of the two I should prefer them to
-be tombs, desiring melancholy like most English people and finding it
-natural at the end of a walk to think of the bones stretched beneath the
-turf. There must be some book about it. Some antiquary must have dug up
-those bones and given them a name. What sort of man is an antiquary, I
-wonder? Retired colonels for the most part, I daresay, leading parties
-of aged labourers to the top here, examining clods of earth and stone,
-and getting into correspondence with the neighbouring clergy, which
-being opened at breakfast time gives them a feeling of importance, and
-the comparison of arrowheads necessitates cross country journeys to the
-county towns, an agreeable necessity both to them and to their elderly
-wives, who wish to make plum jam, or to clean out the study, and have
-every reason for keeping that great question of the camp or the tomb in
-perpetual suspension, while the Colonel himself feels agreeably
-philosophic in accumulating evidence on both sides of the question. It
-is true that he does finally incline to believe in the camp; and, being
-opposed, casts all his arrowheads into one scale, and being still
-further opposed, indites a pamphlet which he is about to read at the
-quarterly meeting of the local society when a stroke lays him low, and
-his last conscious thoughts are not of wire or child, but of the camp
-and that arrow-head there which is now in the case at the local museum,
-together with the hand of a Chinese murderess, a handful of Elizabethan
-nails, a great many Tudor clay pipes a piece of Roman pottery, and the
-wine-glass that Nelson drank out of--proving I really don't know what.
-
-No, no, nothing is proved, nothing is known. And if I were to get up at
-this very moment and ascertain that the mark on the wall is really--what
-shall we say?--the head of a gigantic old nail, driven in two hundred
-years ago which has now, owing to the patient attrition of many
-generations of housemaids, revealed its head above the coat of paint,
-and is taking its first view of modern life in the sight of a
-white-walled fire-lit room, what should I gain? Knowledge? Matter for
-further speculation? I can think sitting still as well as standing up.
-And what is knowledge? What are our learned men save the descendants of
-witches and hermits who crouched in caves and in woods brewing herbs,
-interrogating shrew-mice, and writing down the language of the stars?
-And the less we honour them as our superstitions dwindle and our respect
-for beauty and health of mind increases. . . . . Yes, one could imagine
-a very pleasant world. A quiet spacious world, with the flowers so red
-and blue in the open fields. A world without professors or specialists
-or house-keepers with the profiles of policemen, a world which one could
-slice with ones thought as a fish slices the water with his fin, grazing
-the stems of the water-lilies, and hanging suspended over nests of white
-sea eggs. . . . . . How peaceful it is down here, rooted into the centre
-of the world and gazing up through the gray waters, with their sudden
-gleams of light, and their reflections--If it were not for Whitakers
-Almanack--if it were not for the Table of Precedency!
-
-I must jump up and see for myself what that mark on the wall really
-is--a nail, a rose-leaf, a crack in the wood?
-
-Here is Nature once more at her old game of self-preservation. This
-train of thought, she perceives, is threatening mere waste of energy,
-even some collision with reality, for who will ever be able to lift a
-finger against Whitaker's Table of Precedency? The Archbishop of
-Canterbury is followed by the Lord High Chancellor; the Lord High
-Chancellor is followed by the Archbishop of York. Everybody follows
-somebody, such is the philosophy of Whitaker; and the great thing is to
-know who follows whom. Whitaker knows, and let that, so Nature counsels,
-comfort you, instead of enraging you; and if you can't be comforted, if
-you must shatter this hour of peace, think of the mark on the wall.
-
-I understand Nature's game--her prompting to take action as a way of
-ending any thought that threatens to excite or to pain. Hence, I
-suppose, comes our slight contempt for men of action, men, we assume,
-who don't think. Still, there's no harm in putting a full stop to one's
-disagreeable thoughts by looking at a mark on the wall.
-
-Indeed, now that I have fixed my eyes upon it, I feel I have grasped a
-plank in the sea; I feel a satisfying sense of reality which at once
-turns the two Archbishops and the Lord High Chancellor to the shadows of
-shades. Here is something definite, something real. Thus, waking from a
-midnight dream of horror one hastily turns on the light and lies
-quiescent, worshipping the chest of drawers, worshipping solidity,
-worshipping reality, worshipping the impersonal world which is a proof
-of some existence other than ours. That is what one wants to be sure
-of.... Wood is a pleasant thing to think about. It comes from a tree;
-and trees grow and we don't know how they grow. For years and years they
-grow without paying any attention to us, in meadows, in forests and by
-the side of rivers--all things one likes to think about. The cows swish
-their tails beneath them on hot afternoons; they paint rivers so green
-that when a moor-hen dives one expects to see its feathers all green
-when it comes up again. I like to think of the fish balanced against the
-stream like flags blown out; and of water-beetles slowly raising domes
-of mud upon the bed of the river. I like to think of the tree itself;
-first the close dry sensation of being wood; then there is the grinding
-of the storm; then the slow, delicious ooze of sap. I like to think of
-it too on winter's nights standing in the empty field with all leaves
-close-furled, nothing tender exposed to the iron bullets of the moon, a
-naked mast upon an earth that goes tumbling, tumbling, all night long.
-The song of birds must sound very loud and strange in June; and how cold
-the feet of insects must feel upon it, as they make laborious progresses
-up the creases of the bark, or sun themselves upon the thin green awning
-of the leaves, and look straight in front of them with huge diamond-cut
-red eyes. One by one the fibres snap beneath the immense cold pressure
-of the earth; then the last storm comes and, falling, the highest
-branches drive deep into the ground again. Even so, life isn't done
-with; there are a million patient, watchful lives still for a tree, all
-over the world, in bed-rooms, in ships, on the pavement, lining rooms
-where men and women sit after tea smoking their cigarettes. It is full
-of peaceful thoughts, happy thoughts, this tree. I should like to take
-each one separately--but something is getting in the way ... Where was
-I? What has it all been about? A tree? A river? The Downs, Whitaker's
-Almanack, the fields of asphodel? I can't remember a thing. Everything's
-moving, falling, slipping, vanishing... There is a vast upheaval of
-matter. Someone is standing over me and saying--
-
-"I'm going out to buy a newspaper."
-
-"Yes?"
-
-"Though it's no good, buying newspapers....... Nothing ever happens.
-Curse this war! God damn this war!... All the same, I don't see why we
-should have a snail on our wall."
-
-Ah, the mark on the wall! For it was a snail.
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Two Stories, by Virginia Woolf and Leonard Woolf
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