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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/6213.txt b/6213.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f80f9df --- /dev/null +++ b/6213.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2375 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook Translation of A Savage, v3, by G. Parker +#40 in our series by Gilbert Parker + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Translation of a Savage, Volume 3. + +Author: Gilbert Parker + +Release Date: August, 2004 [EBook #6213] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on September 27, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRANSLATION OF A SAVAGE, V3, PARKER *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + + +THE TRANSLATION OF A SAVAGE + +By Gilbert Parker + +Volume 3. + + +IX. THE FAITH OF COMRADES +X. "THOU KNOWEST THE SECRETS OF OUR HEARTS" +XI. UPON THE HIGHWAY +XII. "THE CHASE OF THE YELLOW SWAN" +XIII. A LIVING POEM +XIV. ON THE EDGE OF A FUTURE +XV. THE END OF THE TRAIL + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE FAITH OF COMRADES + +When Francis Armour left his wife's room he did not go to his own, but +quietly descended the stairs, went to the library, and sat down. The +loneliest thing in the world is to be tete-a-tete with one's conscience. +A man may have a bad hour with an enemy, a sad hour with a friend, a +peaceful hour with himself, but when the little dwarf, conscience, +perches upon every hillock of remembrance and makes slow signs--those +strange symbols of the language of the soul--to him, no slave upon the +tread-mill suffers more. + +The butler came in to see if anything was required, but Armour only +greeted him silently and waved him away. His brain was painfully alert, +his memory singularly awake. It seemed that the incident of this hour +had so opened up every channel of his intelligence that all his life ran +past him in fantastic panorama, as by that illumination which comes to +the drowning man. He seemed under some strange spell. Once or twice he +rose, rubbed his eyes, and looked round the room--the room where as a boy +he had spent idle hours, where as a student he had been in the hands of +his tutor, and as a young man had found recreations such as belong to +ambitious and ardent youth. Every corner was familiar. Nothing was +changed. The books upon the shelves were as they were placed twenty +years ago. And yet he did not seem a part of it. It did not seem +natural to him. He was in an atmosphere of strangeness--that atmosphere +which surrounds a man, as by a cloud, when some crisis comes upon him and +his life seems to stand still, whirling upon its narrow base, while the +world appears at an interminable distance, even as to a deaf man who sees +yet cannot hear. + +There came home to him at that moment with a force indescribable the +shamelessness of the act he committed four years ago. He had thought to +come back to miserable humiliation. For four years he had refused to do +his duty as a man towards an innocent woman,--a woman, though in part a +savage,--now transformed into a gentle, noble creature of delight and +goodness. How had he deserved it? He had sown the storm, it was but +just that he should reap the whirlwind; he had scattered thistles, +could he expect to gather grapes? He knew that the sympathy of all his +father's house was not with him, but with the woman he had wronged. He +was glad it was so. Looking back now, it seemed so poor and paltry a +thing that he, a man, should stoop to revenge himself upon those who had +given him birth, as a kind of insult to the woman who had lightly set him +aside, and should use for that purpose a helpless, confiding girl. To +revenge one's self for wrong to one's self is but a common passion, which +has little dignity; to avenge some one whom one has loved, man or woman, +--and, before all, woman,--has some touch of nobility, is redeemed by +loyalty. For his act there was not one word of defence to be made, and +he was not prepared to make it. + +The cigars and liquors were beside him, but he did not touch them. He +seemed very far away from the ordinary details of his life: he knew he +had before him hard travel, and he was not confident of the end. He +could not tell how long he sat there. --After, a time the ticking of +the clock seemed painfully loud to him. Now and again he heard a cab +rattling through the Square, and the foolish song of some drunken +loiterer in the night caused him to start painfully. Everything jarred +on him. Once he got up, went to the window, and looked out. The moon +was shining full on the Square. He wondered if it would be well for him +to go out and find some quiet to his nerves in walking. He did so. Out +in the Square he looked up to his wife's window. It was lighted. Long +time he walked up and down, his eyes on the window. It held him like a +charm. Once he leaned against the iron railings of the garden and looked +up, not moving for a time. Presently he saw the curtain of the window +raised, and against the dim light of the room was outlined the figure of +his wife. He knew it. She stood for a moment looking out into the +night. She could not see him, nor could he see her features at all +plainly, but he knew that she, like him, was alone with the catastrophe +which his wickedness had sent upon her. Soon the curtain was drawn down +again, and then he went once more to the house and took his old seat +beside the table. He fell to brooding, and at last, exhausted, dropped +to a troubled sleep. He woke with a start. Some one was in the room. +He heard a step behind him. He came to his feet quickly, a wild light in +his eyes. He faced his brother Richard. + +Late in the afternoon Marion had telegraphed to Richard that Frank was +coming. He had been away visiting some poor and sick people, and when he +came back to Greyhope it was too late to catch the train. But the horses +were harnessed straightway, and he was driven into town, a three-hours' +drive. He had left the horses at the stables, and, having a latch-key, +had come in quietly. He had seen the light in the study, and guessed who +was there. He entered, and saw his brother asleep. He watched him for a +moment and studied him. Then he moved away to take off his hat, and, as +he did so, stumbled slightly. Then it was Frank waked, and for the first +time in five years they looked each other in the eyes. They both stood +immovable for a moment, and then Richard caught Frank's hand in both of +his and said: "God bless you, my boy! I am glad you are back." + +"Dick! Dick!" was the reply, and Frank's other hand clutched Richard's +shoulder in his strong emotion. They stood silent for a moment longer, +and then Richard recovered himself. He waved his hand to the chairs. +The strain of the situation was a little painful for them both. Men are +shy with each other where their emotions are in play. + +"Why, my boy," he said, waving a hand to the spirits and liqueurs, "full +bottles and unopened boxes? Tut, tut! here's a pretty how-d'ye-do. Is +this the way you toast the home quarters? You're a fine soldier for an +old mess!" + +So saying, he poured out some whiskey, then opened the box of cigars and +pushed them towards his brother. He did not care particularly to drink +or smoke himself, but a man--an Englishman--is a strange creature. He is +most natural and at ease when he is engaged in eating and drinking. He +relieves every trying situation by some frivolous and selfish occupation, +as of dismembering a partridge, or mixing a punch. + +"Well, Frank," said his brother, "now what have you to say for yourself? +Why didn't you come long ago? You have played the adventurer for five +years, and what have you to show for it? Have you a fortune?" Frank +shook his head, and twisted a shoulder. "What have you done that is +worth the doing, then?" + +"Nothing that I intended to do, Dick," was the grave reply. + +"Yes, I imagined that. You have seen them, have you?" he added, in a +softer voice. + +Frank blew a great cloud of smoke about his face, and through it he said: +"Yes, I have seen a damned sight more than I deserved to see." + +"Oh, of course; I know that, my boy; but, so far as I can see, in another +direction you are getting quite what you deserve: your wife and child are +upstairs--you are here." + +He paused, was silent for a moment, then leaned over, caught his +brother's arm, and said, in a low, strenuous voice: "Frank Armour, you +laid a hateful little plot for us. It wasn't manly, but we forgave it +and did the best we could. But see here, Frank, take my word for it, +you have had a lot of luck. There isn't one woman out of ten thousand +that would have stood the test as your wife has stood it; injured at the +start, constant neglect, temptation--" he paused. "My boy, did you ever +think of that, of the temptation to a woman neglected by her husband? +The temptation to men? Yes, you have had a lot of luck. There has been +a special providence for you, my boy; but not for your sake. God doesn't +love neglectful husbands, but I think He is pretty sorry for neglected +wives." + +Frank was very still. His head drooped, the cigar hung unheeded in his +fingers for a moment, and he said at last: "Dick, old boy, I've thought +it all over to-night since I came back--everything that you've said. +I have not a word of defence to make, but, by heaven! I'm going to win +my wife's love if I can, and when I do it I'll make up for all my cursed +foolishness--see if I don't." + +"That sounds well, Frank," was the quiet reply. "I like to hear you talk +that way. You would be very foolish if you did not. What do you think +of the child?" + +"Can you ask me what I think? He is a splendid little fellow." + +"Take care of him, then--take good care of him: you may never have +another," was the grim rejoinder. Frank winced. His brother rose, took +his arm, and said: "Let us go to our rooms, Frank. There will be time +enough to talk later, and I am not so young as I once was." + +Truth to say, Richard Armour was not so young as he seemed a few months +before. His shoulders were a little stooped, he was greyer about the +temples. The little bit of cynicism which had appeared in that remark +about the care of the child showed also in the lines of his mouth; yet +his eyes had the same old true, honest look. But a man cannot be hit in +mortal places once or twice in his life without its being etched on his +face or dropped like a pinch of aloe from his tongue. + +Still they sat and talked much longer, Frank showing better than when his +brother came, Richard gone grey and tired. At last Richard rose and +motioned towards the window. "See, Frank," he said, "it is morning." +Then he went and lifted the blind. The grey, unpurged air oozed on the +glass. The light was breaking over the tops of the houses. A crossing- +sweeper early to his task, or holding the key of the street, went +pottering by, and a policeman glanced up at them as he passed. Richard +drew down the curtain again. + +"Dick," said Frank suddenly, "you look old. I wonder if I have changed +as much?" + +Six months before, Frank Armour would have said hat his brother looked +young. + +"Oh, you look young enough, Frank," was the reply. "But I am a good deal +older than I was five years ago. . . Come, let us go to bed." + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THOU KNOWEST THE SECRETS OF OUR HEARTS + +And Lali? How had the night gone for her? When she rose from the +child's cot, where her lips had caught the warmth that her husband had +left on them, she stood for a moment bewildered in the middle of the +room. She looked at the door out of which he had gone, her bosom beating +hard, her heart throbbing so that it hurt her--that she could have cried +out from mere physical pain. The wifedom in her was plundering the wild +stores of her generous soul for the man, for--as Richard had said that +day, that memorable day!--the father of her child. But the woman, the +pure translated woman, who was born anew when this frail life in its pink +and white glory crept out into the dazzling world, shrank back, as any +girl might shrink that had not known marriage. This child had come--from +what?--She shuddered now--how many times had she done so since she first +waked to the vulgar sacrilege of her marriage? She knew now that every +good mother, when her first child is born, takes it in her arms, and, all +her agony gone, and the ineffable peace of delivered motherhood come, +speaks the name of its father, and calls it his child. But--she +remembered it now--when her child was born, this little waif, the fruit +of a man's hot, malicious hour, she wrapped it in her arms, pressed its +delicate flesh to the silken folds of her bosom, and weeping, whispered +only: "My child, my little, little child!" + +She had never, as many a wife far from her husband has done, talked to +her child of its father, told it of his beauty and his virtues, arrayed +it day by day in sweet linen and pretty adornments, as if he were just +then knocking at her door; she had never imagined what he would say when +he did come. What could such a father think of his child, born of a +woman whose very life he had intended as an insult? No, she had loved +it for father and mother also. She had tried to be good, a good mother, +living a life unutterably lonely, hard in all that it involved of study, +new duty, translation, and burial of primitive emotions. And with all +the care and tearful watchfulness that had been needed, she had grown so +proud, so exacting--exacting for her child, proud for herself. + +How could she know now that this hasty declaration of affection was +anything more than the mere man in him? Years ago she had not been able +to judge between love and insult--what guarantee had she here? Did he +think that she could believe in him? She was not the woman he had +married, he was not the man she had married. He had deceived her basely +--she had been a common chattel. She had been miserable enough--could +she give herself over to his flying emotions again so suddenly? + +She paced the room, her face now in her hands, her hands now clasping and +wringing before her. Her wifely duty? She straightened to that. Duty! +She was first and before all a good, unpolluted woman. No, no, it could +not be. Love him? Again she shrank. Then came flooding on her that +afternoon when she had flung herself on Richard's breast, and all those +hundred days of happiness in Richard's company--Richard the considerate, +the strong, who had stood so by his honour in an hour of peril. + +Now as she thought of it a hot wave shivered through all her body, and +tingled to her hair. Her face again dropped in her hands, and, as on +that other day, she knelt beside the cot, and, bursting into tears, +said through her sobs: "My baby, my own dear baby! Oh, that we could go +away--away--and never come back again!" + +She did not know how intense her sobs were. They waked the child from +its delicate sleep; its blue eyes opened wide and wise all on the +instant, its round soft arm ran up to its mother's neck, and it said: +"Don't c'y! I want to s'eep wif you! I'se so s'eepy!" + +She caught the child to her wet face, smiled at it through her tears, +went with it to her own bed, put it away in the deep whiteness, kissed +it, and fondled it away again into the heaven of sleep. When this was +done she felt calmer. How she hungered over it! This--this could not be +denied her. This, at least, was all hers, without clause or reservation, +an absolute love, and an absolute right. + +She disrobed and drew in beside the child, and its little dewy cheek +touching her breast seemed to ease the ache in her soul. + +But sleep would not come. All the past four years trooped by, with their +thousand incidents magnified in the sharp, throbbing light of her mind, +and at last she knew and saw clearly what was before her, what trials, +what duty, and what honour demanded--her honour. + +Richard? Once for all she gently put him away from her into that +infinite distance of fine respect which a good woman can feel, who has +known what she and Richard had known--and set aside. But he had made for +her so high a standard, that for one to be measured thereby was a severe +challenge. + + +Could Frank come even to that measure? She dared not try to answer the +question. She feared, she shrank, she grew sick at heart. She did not +reckon with that other thing, that powerful, infinite influence which +ties a woman, she knows not how or why, to the man who led her to the +world of motherhood. Through all the wrongs which she may suffer by him, +there runs this cable of unhappy attraction, testified to by how many +sorrowful lives! + +But Lali was trying to think it out, not only to feel, and she did not +count that subterranean force which must play its part in this new +situation in her drama of life. Could she love him? She crept away out +of the haven where her child was, put on her dressing-gown, went to the +window, and looked out upon the night, all unconscious that her husband +was looking at her from the Square below. Love him?--Love him?--Love +him? Could she? Did he love her? Her eyes wandered over the Square. +Nowhere else was there a light, but a chimney-flue was creaking +somewhere. It jarred on her so that she shrank. Then all at once she +smiled to think how she had changed. Four years ago she could have slept +amid the hammers of a foundry. The noise ceased. Her eyes passed from +the cloud of trees in the Square to the sky-all stars, and restful deep +blue. That--that was the same. How she knew it! Orion and Ashtaroth, +and Mars and the Pleiades, and the long trail of the Milky Way. As a +little child hanging in the trees, or sprawled beside a tepee, she had +made friends with them all, even as she learned and loved all the signs +of the earth beneath--the twist of a blade of grass, the portent in the +cry of a river-hen, the colour of a star, the smell of a wind. She had +known Nature then, now she knew men. And knowing them, and having +suffered, and sick at heart as she was, standing by this window in the +dead of night, the cry that shook her softly was not of her new life, +but of the old, primitive, child-like. + +'Pasagathe, omarki kethose kolokani vorgantha pestorondikat Oni.' + +"A spear hath pierced me, and the smart of the nettle is in my wound. +Maker of the soft night, bind my wounds with sleep, lest I cry out and be +a coward and unworthy." + +Again and again, unconsciously, the words passed from her lips + +'Vorganthe, pestorondikat Oni.' + +At last she let down the blind, came to the bed, and once more gathered +her child in her arms with an infinite hunger. This love was hers--rich, +untrammelled, and so sacred. No matter what came, and she did not know +what would come, she had the child. There was a kind of ecstasy in it, +and she lay and trembled with the feeling, but at last fell into a +troubled sleep. + +She waked suddenly to hear footsteps passing her door. She listened. +One footstep was heavier than the other--heavier and a little stumbling; +she recognised them, Frank and Richard. In that moment her heart +hardened. Frank Armour must tread a difficult road. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +UPON THE HIGHWAY + +Frank visited the child in the morning, and was received with a casual +interest. Richard Joseph Armour was fastidious, was not to be won at the +grand gallop. Besides, he had just had a visit from his uncle, and the +good taste of that gay time was yet in his mouth. He did not resent the +embraces, but he did not respond to them, and he straightened himself +with relief when the assault was over. Some one was paying homage to +him, that was all he knew; but for his own satisfaction and pleasure he +preferred as yet his old comrades, Edward Lambert, Captain Vidall, +General Armour, and, above all, Richard. He only showed real interest +at the last, when he asked, as it were in compromise, if his father would +give him a sword. No one had ever talked to him of his father, and he +had no instinct for him so far as could be seen. The sword was, +therefore, after the manner of a concession. Frank rashly promised it, +and was promptly told by Marion that it couldn't be; and she was backed +by Captain Vidall, who said it had already been tabooed, and Frank wasn't +to come in and ask for favours or expect them. + +The husband and wife met at breakfast. He was down first. When his wife +entered, he came to her, they touched hands, and she presently took a +seat beside him. More than once he paused suddenly in his eating, when +he thought of his inexplicable case. He was now face to face with a +reversed situation. He had once picked up a pebble from the brown dirt +of a prairie, that he might toss it into the pool of this home life; and +he had tossed it, and from the sweet bath there had come out a precious +stone, which he longed to wear, and knew that he could not--not yet. +He could have coerced a lower being, but for his manhood's sake--he had +risen to that now, it is curious how the dignity of fatherhood helps to +make a man--he could not coerce here, and if he did, he knew that the +product would be disaster. + +He listened to her talk with Marion and Captain Vidall. Her voice +was musical, balanced, her language breathed; it had manner, and an +indescribable cadence of intelligence, joined to a deliberation, which +touched her off with distinction. When she spoke to him--and she seemed +to do that as by studied intention and with tact at certain intervals-- +her manner was composed and kind. She had resolved on her part. She +asked him about his journey over, about his plans for the day, and if +he had decided to ride with her in the Park,--he could have the general's +mount, she was sure, for the general was not going that day,--and would +he mind doing a little errand for her afterwards in Regent Street, for +the child--she feared she herself would not have time? + +Just then General Armour entered, and, passing behind her, kissed her on +the cheek, dropping his hand on Frank's shoulder at the same time with a +hearty greeting. Of course, Frank could have his mount, he said. Mrs. +Armour did not come down, but she sent word by Richard, who entered last, +that she would be glad to see Frank for a moment before he left for the +Park. As of old, Richard took both Lali's hands in his, patted them, and +cheerily said: + +"Well, well, Lali, we've got the wild man home again safe and sound, +haven't we--the same old vagabond? We'll have to turn him into a +Christian again--'For while the lamp holds out to burn'--" + +He did not give her time to reply, but their eyes met honestly, kindly, +and from the look they both passed into life and time again with a fresh +courage. She did not know, nor did he, how near they had been to an +abyss; and neither ever knew. One furtive glance at the moment, one +hesitating pressure of the hand, one movement of the head from each +other's gaze, and there had been unhappiness for them all. But they +were safe. + +In the Park, Frank and his wife talked little. They met many who greeted +them cordially, and numbers of Frank's old club friends summoned him to +the sacred fires at his earliest opportunity. The two talked chiefly of +the people they met, and Frank thrilled with admiration at his wife's +gentle judgment of everybody. + +"The true thing, absolutely the true thing," he said; and he was +conscious, too, that her instincts were right and searching, for once or +twice he saw her face chill a little when they met one or two men whose +reputations as chevaliers des dames were pronounced. These men had had +one or two confusing minutes with Lali in their time. + +"How splendidly you ride!" he said, as he came up swiftly to her, after +having chatted for a moment with Edward Lambert. "You sit like wax, and +so entirely easy." + +"Thank you," she said. "I suppose I really like it too well to ride +badly, and then I began young on horses not so good as Musket here-- +bareback, too!" she added, with a little soft irony. + +He thought--she did not, however--that she was referring to that first +letter he sent home to his people, when he consigned her, like any other +awkward freight, to their care. He flushed to his eyes. It cut him +deep, but her eyes only had a distant, dreamy look which conveyed nothing +of the sting in her words. Like most men, he had a touch of vanity too, +and he might have resented the words vaguely, had he not remembered his +talk with his mother an hour before. + +She had begged him to have patience, she had made him promise that he +would not in any circumstance say an ungentle or bitter thing, that he +would bide the effort of constant devotion, and his love of the child. +Especially must he try to reach her through love of the child. + +By which it will be seen that Mrs. Armour had come to some wisdom by +reason of her love for Frank's wife and child. + +"My son," she had said, "through the child is the surest way, believe me; +for only a mother can understand what that means, how much and how far it +goes. You are a father, but until last night you never had the flush of +that love in your veins. You stand yet only at the door of that life +which has done more to guide, save, instruct, and deepen your wife's life +than anything else, though your brother Richard--to whom you owe a debt +that you can never repay--has done much in deed. Be wise, my dear, as I +have learned a little to be since first your wife came. All might easily +have gone wrong. It has all gone well; and we, my son, have tried to do +our duty lovingly, consistently, to dear Lali and the child." + +She made him promise that he would wait, that he would not try to hurry +his wife's affection for him by any spoken or insistent claim. "For, +Frank dear," she said, "you are only legally married, not morally, not as +God can bless--not yet. But I pray that what will sanctify all may come +soon, very soon, to the joy of us all. But again--and I cannot say it +too prayerfully--do not force one little claim that your marriage gave +you, but prove yourself to her, who has cause to distrust you so much. +Will you forgive your mother, my dear, for speaking to you?" + +He had told her then that what she had asked he had intended as his own +course, yet what she had said would keep it in his mind always, for he +was sure it was right. Mrs. Armour had then embraced him, and they +parted. Dealing with Lali had taught them all much of the human heart +that they had never known before, and the result thereof was wisdom. + +They talked casually enough for the rest of the ride, and before they +parted at the door Frank received his commission for Regent Street, and +accepted it with delight, as a schoolboy might a gift. He was absurdly +grateful for any favours from her, any sign of her companionship. They +met at luncheon; then, because Lali had to keep an engagement in Eaton +Square, they parted again, and Frank and Richard took a walk, after a +long hour with the child, who still so hungered for his sword that Frank +disobeyed orders, and dragged Richard off to Oxford Street to get one. +He was reduced to a beatific attitude of submission, for he knew that he +had few odds with him now, and that he must live by virtue of new +virtues. He was no longer proud of himself in any way, and he knew that +no one else was, or rather he felt so, and that was just the same. + +He talked of the boy, he talked of his wife, he laid plans, he tore them +down, he built them up again, he asked advice, he did not wait to hear +it, but rambled on, excited, eager. Truth is, there had suddenly been +lifted from his mind the dread and shadow of four years. Wherever he had +gone, whatever he had been or done, that dread shadow had followed him, +and now to know that instead of having to endure a hell he had to win a +heaven, and to feel as if his brain had been opened and a mass of vapours +and naughty little mannikins of remorse had been let out, was a trifle +intoxicating even to a man of his usual vigour and early acquaintance +with exciting things. + +"Dick, Dick!" he said enthusiastically, "you've been royal. You always +were better than any chap I ever knew. You're always doing for others. +Hang it, Dick, where does your fun come in? Nobody seems ever to do +anything for you." + +Richard gave his arm a squeeze. "Never mind about me, boy. I've had all +the fun I want, and all I'm likely to get, and so long as you're all +willing to have me around, I'm satisfied. There's always a lot to do +among the people in the village, one way and another, and I've a heap of +reading on, and what more does a fellow want?" + +"You didn't always feel that way, Dick?" + +"No. You see, at different times in life you want different kinds of +pleasures. I've had a good many kinds, and the present kind is about as +satisfactory as any." + +"But, Dick, you ought to get married. You've got coin, you've got sense, +you're a bit distinguished-looking, and I'll back your heart against a +thousand bishops. You've never been in danger of making a fool of +yourself as I have. Why didn't you--why don't you--get married?" + +Richard patted his brother's shoulder. + +"Married, boy? Married? I've got too much on my hands. I've got to +bring you up yet. And when that's done I shall have to write a book +called 'How to bring up a Parent.' Then I've got to help bring your boy +up, as I've done these last three years and more. I've got to think of +that boy for a long while yet, for I know him better than you do, and I +shall need some of my coin to carry out my plans." + +"God bless you, Dick! Bring me up as you will, only bring her along too; +and as for the boy, you're far more his father than I am. And mother +says that it's you that's given me the wife I've got now--so what can I +say?--what can I say?" + +It was the middle of the Green Park, and Richard turned and clasped Frank +by both shoulders. + +"Say? Say that you'll stand by the thing you swore to one mad day in the +West as well as any man that ever lived--'to have and to hold, to love +and to cherish from this day forth till death us do part, Amen.'" + +Richard's voice was low and full of a strange, searching something. + +Frank, wondering at this great affection and fondness of his brother, +looked him in the eyes warmly, solemnly, and replied: "For richer or for +poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health--so help me +God, and her kindness and forgiveness!" + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +"THE CHASE OF THE YELLOW SWAN" + +Frank and Lali did not meet until dinner was announced. The conversation +at dinner was mainly upon the return to Greyhope, which was fixed for the +following morning, and it was deftly kept gay and superficial by Marion +and Richard and Captain Vidall, until General Armour became reminiscent, +and held the interest of the table through a dozen little incidents +of camp and barrack life until the ladies rose. There had been an +engagement for late in the evening, but it had been given up because +of Frank's home-coming, and there was to be a family gathering merely-- +for Captain Vidall was now as much one of the family as Frank or Richard, +by virtue of his approaching marriage with Marion. The men left alone, +General Armour questioned Frank freely about life in the Hudson's Bay +country, and the conversation ran on idly till it was time to join the +ladies. + +When they reached the drawing-room, Marion was seated at the piano, +playing a rhapsody of Raff's, and Mrs. Armour and Lali were seated side +by side. Frank thrilled at seeing his wife's hand in his mother's. +Marion nodded over the piano at the men, and presently played a snatch +of Carmen, then wandered off into the barbaric strength of Tannhauser, +and as suddenly again into the ballet music of Faust. + +"Why so wilful, my girl?" asked her father, who had a keen taste for +music. "Why this tangle? Let us have something definite." + +Marion sprang up from the piano. "I can't. I'm not definite myself +to-night." Then, turning to Lali: "Lali dear, sing something--do! +Sing my favourite, 'The Chase of the Yellow Swan.'" + +This was a song which in the later days at Greyhope, Lali had sung for +Marion, first in her own language, with the few notes of an Indian chant, +and afterwards, by the help of the celebrated musician who had taught her +both music and singing, both of which she had learned but slowly, it was +translated and set to music. Lali looked Marion steadily in the eyes for +a moment and then rose. It cost her something to do this thing, for +while she had often talked much and long with Richard about that old +life, it now seemed as if she were to sing it to one who would not quite +understand why she should sing it at all, or what was her real attitude +towards her past--that she looked upon it from the infinite distance of +affectionate pity, knowledge, and indescribable change, and yet loved the +inspiring atmosphere and mystery of that lonely North, which once in the +veins never leaves it--never. Would he understand that she was feeling, +not the common detail of the lodge and the camp-fire and the Company's +post, but the deep spirit of Nature, filtering through the senses in a +thousand ways--the wild ducks' flight, the sweet smell of the balsam, +the exquisite gallop of the deer, the powder of the frost, the sun and +snow and blue plains of water, the thrilling eternity of plain and the +splendid steps of the hills, which led away by stair and entresol to the +Kimash Hills, the Hills of the Mighty Men? + +She did not know what he would think, and again on second thought she +determined to make him, by this song, contrast her as she was when he +married her, and now--how she herself could look upon that past +unabashed, speak of it without blushing, sing of it with pride, having +reached a point where she could look down and say: "This was the way by +which I came." + +She rose, and was accompanied to the piano by General Armour, Frank +admiring her soft, springing steps, her figure so girlish and lissom. +She paused for a little before she began. Her eyes showed for a moment +over the piano, deep, burning, in-looking; then they veiled; her fingers +touched the keys, wandered over them in a few strange, soft chords, +paused, wandered again, more firmly and very intimately, and then she +sang. Her voice was a good contralto, well balanced, true, of no great +range, but within its compass melodious, and having some inexpressible +charm of temperament. Frank did not need to strain his ears to hear the +words; every one came clear, searching, delicately valued: + + "In the flash of the singing dawn, + At the door of the Great One, + The joy of his lodge knelt down, + Knelt down, and her hair in the sun + Shone like showering dust, + And her eyes were as eyes of the fawn. + And she cried to her lord, + 'O my lord, O my life, + From the desert I come; + From the hills of the Dawn.' + And he lifted the curtain and said, + 'Hast thou seen It, the Yellow Swan?' + + "And she lifted her head, and her eyes + Were as lights in the dark, + And her hands folded slow on her breast, + And her face was as one who has seen + The gods and the place where they dwell; + And she said: 'Is it meet that I kneel, + That I kneel as I speak to my lord?' + And he answered her: 'Nay, but to stand, + And to sit by my side; + But speak, thou hast followed the trail, + Hast thou found It, the Yellow Swan?' + + "And she stood as a queen, and her voice + Was as one who hath seen the Hills, + The Hills of the Mighty Men, + And hath heard them cry in the night, + Hath heard them call in the dawn, + Hath seen It, the Yellow Swan. + And she said: 'It is not for my lord;' + And she murmured, 'I cannot tell, + But my lord must go as I went, + And my lord must come as I came, + And my lord shall be wise.' + + "And he cried in his wrath, + 'What is thine, it is mine, + And thine eyes are my eyes + Thou shalt speak of the Yellow Swan!' + But she answered him: 'Nay, though I die. + I have lain in the nest of the Swan, + I have heard, I have known; + When thine eyes too have seen, + When thine ears too have heard, + Thou shalt do with me then as thou wilt!' + + "And he lifted his hand to strike, + And he straightened his spear to slay, + But a great light struck on his eyes, + And he heard the rushing of wings, + And his long spear fell from his hand, + And a terrible stillness came. + And when the spell passed from his eyes, + He stood in his doorway alone, + And gone was the queen of his soul, + And gone was the Yellow Swan." + +Frank Armour listened as in a dream. The song had the wild swing of +savage life, the deep sweetness of a monotone, but it had also the fine +intelligence, the subtle allusiveness of romance. He could read between +the lines. The allegory touched him where his nerves were sensitive. +Where she had gone he could not go until his eyes had seen and known +what hers had seen and known; he could not grasp his happiness all in a +moment; she was no longer at his feet, but equal with him, and wiser than +he. She had not meant the song to be allusive when she began, but to +speak to him through it by singing the heathen song as his own sister +might sing it. As the song went on, however, she felt the inherent +suggestion in it, so that when she had finished it required all her +strength to get up calmly, come among them again, and listen to their +praises and thanks. She had no particular wish to be alone with Frank +just yet, but the others soon arranged themselves so that the husband +and wife were left in a cosey corner of the room. + +Lali's heart fluttered a little at first, for the day had been trying, +and she was not as strong as she could wish. Admirably as she had gone +through the season, it had worn on her, and her constitution had become +sensitive and delicate, while yet strong. The life had almost refined +her too much. Always on the watch that she should do exactly as Marion +or Mrs. Armour, always so sensitive as to what was required of her, +always preparing for this very time, now that it had come, and her heart +and mind were strong, her body seemed to weaken. Once or twice during +the day she had felt a little faint, but it had passed off, and she had +scolded herself. She did not wish a serious talk with her husband +to-night, but she saw now that it was inevitable. + +He said to her as he sat down beside her: "You sing very well indeed. +The song is full of meaning, and you bring it all out." + +"I am glad you like it," she responded conventionally. "Of course it's +an unusual song for an English drawing-room." + +"As you sing it, it would be beautiful and acceptable anywhere, Lali." + +"Thank you again," she answered, closing and unclosing her fan, her eyes +wandering to where Mrs. Armour was. She wished she could escape, for she +did not feel like talking, and yet though the man was her husband she +could not say that she was too tired to talk; she must be polite. Then, +with a little dainty malice: "It is more interesting, though, in the +vernacular--and costume!" + +"Not unless you sang it so," he answered gallantly, and with a kind of +earnestness. + +"You have not forgotten the way of London men," she rejoined. + +"Perhaps that is well, for I do not know the way of women," he said, with +a faint bitterness. "Yet, I don't speak unadvisedly in this,"--here he +meant to be a little bold and bring the talk to the past,--"for I heard +you sing that song once before." + +She turned on him half puzzled, a little nervous. "Where did you hear me +sing it?" + +He had made up his mind, wisely enough, to speak with much openness and +some tact also, if possible. "It was on the Glow Worm River at the Clip +Claw Hills. I came into your father's camp one evening in the autumn, +hungry and tired and knocked about. I was given the next tent to yours. +It was night, and just before I turned in I heard your voice singing. I +couldn't understand much of the language, but I had the sense of it, and +I know it when I hear it again." + +"Yes, I remember singing it that night," she said. "Next day was the +Feast of the Yellow Swan." + +Her eyes presently became dreamy, and her face took on a distant, rapt +look. She sat looking straight before her for a moment. + +He did not speak, for he interpreted the look aright, and he was going to +be patient, to wait. + +"Tell me of my father," she said. "You have been kind to him?" + +He winced a little. "When I left Fort Charles he was very well," he +said, "and he asked me to tell you to come some day. He also has sent +you a half-dozen silver-fox skins, a sash, and moccasins made by his own +hands. The things are not yet unpacked." + +Moccasins?--She remembered when last she had moccasins on her feet--the +day she rode the horse at the quick-set hedge, and nearly lost her life. +How very distant that all was, and yet how near too! Suddenly she +remembered also why she took that mad ride, and her heart hardened a +little. + +"You have been kind to my father since I left?" she asked. + +He met her eyes steadily. "No, not always; not more than I have been +kind to you. But at the last, yes." Suddenly his voice became intensely +direct and honest. "Lali," he continued, "there is much that I want to +say to you." She waved her hand in a wearied fashion. "I want to tell +you that I would do the hardest penance if I could wipe out these last +four years." + +"Penance?" she said dreamily--"penance? What guarantee of happiness +would that be? One would not wish another to do penance if--" + +She paused. + +"I understand," he said--"if one cared--if one loved. Yes, I understand. +But that does not alter the force or meaning of the wish. I swear to you +that I repent with all my heart--the first wrong to you, the long +absence--the neglect--everything." + +She turned slowly to him. "Everything-Everything?" she repeated after +him. "Do you understand what that means? Do you know a woman's heart? +No. Do you know what a shameful neglect is at the most pitiful time in +your life? No. How can a man know! He has a thousand things--the woman +has nothing, nothing at all except the refuge of home, that for which she +gave up everything!" + +Presently she broke off, and something sprang up and caught her in the +throat. Years of indignation were at work in her. "I have had a home," +she said, in a low, thrilling voice--"a good home; but what did that cost +you? Not one honest sentiment of pity, kindness, or solicitude. You +clothed me, fed me, abandoned me, as--how can one say it? Do I not know, +if coming back you had found me as you expected to find me, what the +result would have been? Do I not know? You would have endured me if I +did not thrust myself upon you, for you have after all a sense of legal +duty, a kind of stubborn honour. But you would have made my life such +that some day one or both of us would have died suddenly. For"--she +looked him with a hot clearness in the eyes--"for there is just so much +that a woman can bear. I wish this talk had not come now, but, since +it has come, it is better to speak plainly. You see, you misunderstand. +A heathen has a heart as another--has a life to be spoiled or made happy +as another. Had there been one honest passion in your treatment of me-- +in your marrying me--there would be something on which to base mutual +respect, which is more or less necessary when one is expected to love. +But--but I will not speak more of it, for it chokes me, the insult to me, +not as I was, but as I am. Then it would probably have driven me mad, +if I had known; now it eats into my life like rust." + +He made a motion as if to take her hands, but lifting them away quietly +she said: "You forget that there are others present, as well as the fact +that we can talk better without demonstration." + +He was about to speak, but she stopped him. "No, wait," she said; +"for I want to say a little more. I was only an Indian girl, but you +must remember that I had also in my veins good white blood, Scotch blood. +Perhaps it was that which drew me to you then--for Lali the Indian girl +loved you. Life had been to me pleasant enough--without care, without +misery, open, strong and free; our people were not as those others which +had learned the white man's vices. We loved the hunt, the camp-fires, +the sacred feasts, the legends of the Mighty Men; and the earth was a +good friend, whom we knew as the child knows its mother." + +She paused. Something seemed to arrest her attention. Frank followed +her eyes. She was watching Captain Vidall and Marion. He guessed what +she was thinking--how different her own wooing had been from theirs, how +concerning her courtship she had not one sweet memory--the thing that +keeps alive more love and loyalty in this world than anything else. +Presently General Armour joined them, and Frank's opportunity was over +for the present. + +Captain Vidall and Marion were engaged in a very earnest conversation, +though it might not appear so to observers. + +"Come, now, Marion," he said protestingly, "don't be impossible. Please +give the day a name. Don't you think we've waited about long enough?" + +"There was a man in the Bible who served seven years." + +"I've served over three in India since I met you at the well, and that +counts double. Why so particular to a day? It's a bit Jewish. Anyhow, +that seven years was rough on Rachel." + +"How, Hume? Because she got passee?" + +"Well, that counted; but do you suppose that Jew was going to put in +those seven years without interest? Don't you believe it. Rachel paid +capital and interest back, or Jacob was no Jew. Tell me, Marion, when +shall it be?" + +"Hume, for a man who has trifled away years in India, you are strangely +impatient." + +"Mrs. Lambert says that I have the sweetest disposition." + +"My dear sir!" + +"Don't look at me like that at this distance, or I shall have to wear +goggles, as the man did who went courting the Sun." + +"How supremely ridiculous you are! And I thought you such a sensible, +serious man." + +"Mrs. Lambert put that in your head. We used to meet at the annual +dinners of the Bible Society." + +"Why do you tell me such stuff?" + +"It's a fact. Her father and my aunt were in that swim, and we were +sympathisers." + +"Mercenary people!" + +"It worked very well in her case; not so well in mine. But we conceived +a profound respect for each other then. But tell me, Marion, when is it +to be? Why put off the inevitable?" + +"It isn't inevitable--and I'm only twenty-three." + + "Only twenty-three, + And as good fish in the sea" + +he responded, laughing. "Yes, but you've set the precedent for a +courtship of four years and a bit, and what man could face it?" + +"You did." + +"Yes, but I wasn't advertised of the fact beforehand. Suppose I had seen +the notice at the start: 'This mortgage cannot be raised inside of four +years--and a bit!' There's a limit to human endurance." + +"Why shouldn't I hold to the number, but alter the years to days?" + +"You wouldn't dare. A woman must live up to her reputation." + +"Indeed? What an ambition!" + +"And a man to his manners." + +"An unknown quantity." + +"And a lover to his promises." + +"A book of jokes." Marion had developed a taste for satire. + +"Which reminds me of Lady Halwood and Mrs. Lambert. Lady Halwood was +more impertinent than usual the other day at the Sinclairs' show, and had +a little fling at Mrs. Lambert. The talk turned on gowns. Lady Halwood +was much interested at once. She has a weakness that way. 'Why,' said +she, 'I like these fashions this year, but I'm not sure that they suit +me. They're the same as when the Queen came to the throne.' 'Well,' +said Mrs. Lambert sweetly, 'if they suited you then--' There was an +audible titter, and Mrs. Lambert had an enemy for life." + +"I don't see the point of your story in this connection." + +"No? Well, it was merely to suggest that if you had to live up to this +scheme of four-years' probation, other people besides lovers would make +up books of jokes, and--" + +"That's like a man--to threaten." + +"Yes, I threaten--on my knees." + +"Hume, how long do you think Frank will have to wait?" + +They were sitting where they had a good view of the husband and wife, and +Vidall, after a moment, said: "I don't know. She has waited four years, +too; now it looks as if, like Jacob, she was going to gather in her +shekels of interest compounded." + +"It isn't going to be a bit pleasant to watch." + +"But you won't be here to see." + +Marion ignored the suggestion. "She seems to have hardened since he came +yesterday. I hardly know her; and yet she looks awfully worn to-night, +don't you think?" + +"Yes, as if she had to keep a hand on herself. But it'll come out all +right in the end, you'll see." + +"Yes, of course; but she might be sensible and fall in love with Frank at +once. That's what she did when--" + +"When she didn't know man." + +"Yes, but where would you all be if we women acted on what we know of +you?" + +"On our knees chiefly, as I am. Remember this, Marion, that half a +sinner is better than no man." + +"You mean that no man is better than half a saint?" + +"How you must admire me!" + +"Why?" + +"As you are about to name the day, I assume that I'm a whole saint in +your eyes." + +"St. Augustine!" + +"Who was he?" + +"A man that reformed." + +"Before or after marriage?" + +"Before, I suppose." + +"I don't think he died happy." + +"Why not?" + +"I've a faint recollection that he was boiled." + +"Don't be horrid. What has that to do with it?" + +"Nothing, perhaps. But he probably broke out again after marriage, and +sank at last into that caldron. That's what it means by being-steeped in +crime." + +"How utterly nonsensical you are!" + +"I feel light-headed. You've been at sea, on a yacht becalmed, haven't +you? when along comes a groundswell, and as you rock in the sun there +comes trouble, and your head goes round like a top? Now, that's my case. +I've been becalmed four years, and while I pray for a little wind to take +me--home, you rock me in the trough of uncertainty. Suspense is very +gall and wormwood. You know what the jailer said to the criminal who was +hanging on a reprieve: 'Rope deferred maketh the heart sick.' Marion, +give me the hour, or give me the rope." + +"The rope enough to hang yourself?" + +She suddenly reached up and pulled a hair from her head. She laid it in +his hand-a long brown silken thread. "Hume," she said airily yet gently, +"there is the rope. Can you love me for a month of Sundays?" + +"Yes, for ever and a day!" + +"I will cancel the day, and take your bond for the rest. I will be +generous. I will marry you in two months-and a day." + +"My dearest girl!"--he drew her hand into both of his--"I can't have you +more generous than myself, I'll throw off the month." But his eyes were +shining very seriously, though his mouth smiled. + +"Two months and a day," she repeated. + +"We must all bundle off to Greyhope to-morrow," came General Armour's +voice across the room. "Down comes the baby, cradle and all." + +Lali rose. "I am very tired," she said; "I think I will say good-night." + +"I'll go and see the boy with you," Frank said, rising also. + +Lali turned towards Marion. Marion's face was flushed, and had a sweet, +happy confusion. With a low, trembling good-night to Captain Vidall, a +hurried kiss on her mother's cheek, and a tip-toed caress on her father's +head, she ran and linked her arm in Lali's, and together they proceeded +to the child's room. Richard was there when they arrived, mending a +broken toy. Two hours later, the brothers parted at Frank's door. + +"Reaping the whirlwind, Dick?" Frank said, dropping his hand on his +brother's arm. + +Richard pointed to the child's room. + +"Nonsense! Do you want all the world at once? You are reaping the +forgiveness of your sins." Somehow Richard's voice was a little stern. + +"I was thinking of my devilry, Dick. That's the whirlwind--here!" His +hand dropped on his breast. + +"That's where it ought to be. Good-night." + +"Good-night." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +A LIVING POEM + +Part of Frank's most trying interview, next to the meeting with his wife, +was that with Mackenzie, who had been his special commissioner in the +movement of his masquerade. Mackenzie also had learned a great deal +since she had brought Lali--home. She, like others, had come to care +truly for the sweet barbarian, and served her with a grim kind of +reverence. Just in proportion as this had increased, her respect for +Frank had decreased. No man can keep a front of dignity in the face of +an unbecoming action. However, Mackenzie had her moment, and when it was +over, the new life began at no general disadvantage to Frank. To all +save the immediate family Frank and Lali were a companionable husband and +wife. She rode with him, occasionally walked with him, now and again +sang to him, and they appeared in the streets of St. Albans and at the +Abbey together, and oftener still in the village church near, where the +Armours of many generations were proclaimed of much account in the solid +virtues of tomb and tablet. + +The day had gone by when Lali attracted any especial notice among the +villagers, and she enjoyed the quiet beauty and earnestness of the +service. But she received a shock one Sunday. She had been nervous all +the week, she could not tell why, and others remarked how her face had +taken on a new sensitiveness, a delicate anxiety, and that her strength +was not what it had been. As, for instance, after riding she required to +rest, a thing before unknown, and she often lay down for an hour before +dinner. Then, too, at table once she grew suddenly pale and swayed +against Edward Lambert, who was sitting next to her. She would not, +however, leave the table, but sat the dinner out, to Frank's +apprehension. He was devoted, but it was clear to Marion and her mother +at least that his attentions were trying to her. They seemed to put her +under an obligation which to meet was a trial. There is nothing more +wearing to a woman than affectionate attentions from a man who has claims +upon her, but whom she does not love. These same attentions from one who +has no claims give her a thrill of pleasure. It is useless to ask for +justice in such a matter. These things are governed by no law; and +rightly so, else the world would be in good time a loveless multitude, +held together only by the hungering ties of parent and child. + +But this Sunday wherein Lali received a shock. She did not know that the +banns for Marion's and Captain Vidall's marriage were to be announced, +and at the time her thoughts were far away. She was recalled to herself +by the clergyman's voice pronouncing their names, and saying: "If any of +you do know cause or just impediment why these two people should not be +joined together in the bonds of holy matrimony, ye are to declare it." +All at once there came back to her her own marriage when the Protestant +missionary, in his nasal monotone, mumbled these very words, not as if he +expected that any human being would, or could, offer objection. + +She almost sprang from her seat now. Her nerves all at once came to such +a tension that she could have cried out. Why had there been no one there +at her marriage to say: "I forbid it"? How shameful it had all been! +And the first kiss her husband had given her had the flavour of brandy! +If she could but turn back the hands upon the clock of Time! Under the +influence of the music and the excited condition of her nerves, the event +became magnified, distorted; it burned into her brain. It was not made +less poignant by the sermon from the text: "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin." +When the words were first announced in the original, it sounded like her +own language, save that it was softer, and her heart throbbed fast. Then +came the interpretation: "Thou art weighed in the balance and found +wanting." + +Then suddenly swept over her a new feeling, one she had never felt +before. Up to this point a determination to justify her child, to +reverse the verdict of the world, to turn her husband's sin upon himself, +had made her defiant, even bitter; in all things eager to live up to her +new life, to the standard that Richard had by manner and suggestion, +rather than by words, laid down for her. But now there came in upon her +a flood of despair. At best she was only of this race through one-third +of her parentage, and education and refinement and all things could do no +more than make her possible. There must always be in the record: "She +was of a strange people. She was born in a wigwam." She did not know +that failing health was really the cause of this lapse of self- +confidence, this growing self-depreciation, this languor for which she +could not account. She found that she could not toss the child and +frolic with it as she had done; she was conscious that within a month +there had stolen upon her the desire to be much alone, to avoid noises +and bustle--it irritated her. She found herself thinking more and more +of her father, her father to whom she had never written one line since +she had left the North. She had had good reasons for not writing-- +writing could do no good whatever, particularly to a man who could not +read, and who would not have understood her new life if he had read. Yet +now she seemed not to know why she had not written, and to blame herself +for neglect and forgetfulness. It weighed on her. Why had she ever been +taken from the place of tamarack-trees and the sweeping prairie grass? +No, no, she was not, after all, fit for this life. She had been +mistaken, and Richard had been mistaken--Richard, who was so wise. The +London season? Ah! that was because people had found a novelty, and +herself of better manners than had been expected. + +The house was now full of preparations for the wedding. It stared her in +the face every day, almost every hour. Dressmakers, milliners, tailors, +and all those other necessary people. Did the others think what all this +meant to her? It was impossible that they should. When Marion came back +from town at night and told of her trials among the dressmakers, when she +asked the general opinion and sometimes individual judgment, she could +not know that it was at the expense of Lali's nerves. + +Lali, when she married, had changed her moccasins, combed her hair, and +put on a fine red belt, and that was all. She was not envious now, not +at all. But somehow it all was a deadly kind of evidence against herself +and her marriage. Her reproach was public, the world knew it, and no +woman can forgive a public shame, even was it brought about by a man she +loved, or loves. Her chiefest property in life is her self-esteem and +her name before the world. Rob her of these, and her heaven has fallen, +and if a man has shifted the foundations of her peace, there is no +forgiveness for him till her Paradise has been reconquered. So busy were +all the others that they did not see how her strength was failing. There +were three weeks between the day the banns were announced and the day of +the wedding, which was to be in the village church, not in town; for, as +Marion said, she had seen too many marriages for one day's triumph and +criticism; she wanted hers where there would be neither triumph nor +criticism, but among people who had known her from her childhood up. +A happy romance had raised Marion's point of view. + +Meanwhile Frank was winning the confidence of his own child, who, +however, ranked Richard higher always, and became to a degree his +father's tyrant. But Frank's nature was undergoing a change. His point +of view also had enlarged. The suffering, bitterness, and humiliation of +his life in the North had done him good. He was being disciplined to +take his position as a husband and father, but he sometimes grew heavy- +hearted when he saw how his attentions oppressed his wife, and had it not +been for Richard he might probably have brought on disaster, for the +position was trying to all concerned. A few days before the wedding +Edward Lambert and his wife arrived, and he, Captain Vidall, and Frank +Armour took rides and walks together, or set the world right in the +billiard-room. Richard seldom joined them, though their efforts to +induce him to do so were many. He had his pensioners, his books, his +pipe, and "the boy," and he had returned in all respects, in so far as +could be seen, to his old life, save for the new and larger interest of +his nephew. + +One evening the three men with General Armour were all gathered in the +billiard-room. Conversation had been general and without particular +force, as it always is when merely civic or political matters are under +view. But some one gave a social twist to the talk, and presently they +were launched upon that sea where every man provides his own chart, or he +is a very worm and no man. Each man had been differently trained, each +viewed life from a different stand-point, and yet each had been brought +up in the same social atmosphere, in the same social sets, had imbibed +the same traditions, been moved generally by the same public +considerations. + +"But there's little to be said for a man who doesn't, outwardly at least, +live up to the social necessity," said Lambert. + +"And keep the Ten Commandments in the vulgar tongue," rejoined Vidall. + +"I've lived seventy-odd years, and I've knocked about a good deal in my +time," said the general, "but I've never found that you could make a +breach of social necessity, as you call it, without paying for it one way +or another. The trouble with us when we're young is that we want to get +more out of life than there really is in it. There is not much in it, +after all. You can stand just so much fighting, just so much work, just +so much emotion--and you can stand less emotion than anything else. I'm +sure more men and women break up from a hydrostatic pressure of emotion +than from anything else. Upon my soul, that's so." + +"You are right, General," said Lambert. "The steady way is the best way. +The world is a passable place, if a fellow has a decent income by +inheritance, or can earn a big one, but to be really contented to earn +money it must be a big one, otherwise he is far better pleased to take +the small inherited income. It has a lot of dignity, which the other +can only bring when it is large." + +"That's only true in this country; it's not true in America," said Frank, +"for there the man who doesn't earn money is looked upon as a muff, and +is treated as such. A small inherited income is thought to be a trifle +enervating. But there is a country of emotions, if you like. The +American heart is worn upon the American sleeve, and the American mind is +the most active thing in this world. That's why they grow old so young." + +"I met a woman a year or so ago at dinner," said Vidall, "who looked +forty. She looked it, and she acted it. She was younger than any woman +present, but she seemed older. There was a kind of hopeless languor +about her which struck me as pathetic. Yet she had been beautiful, and +might even have been so when I saw her, if it hadn't been for that look. +It was the look of a person who had no interest in things. And the +person who has no interest in things is the person who once had a great +deal of interest in things, who had too passionate an interest. The +revulsion is always terrible. Too much romance is deadly. It is as +false a stimulant as opium or alcohol, and leaves a corresponding mark. +Well, I heard her history. She was married at fifteen--ran away to be +married; and in spite of the fact that a railway accident nearly took her +husband from her on the night of her marriage--one would have thought +that would make a strong bond--she was soon alive to the attentions that +are given a pretty and--considerate woman. At a ball at Naples, her +husband, having in vain tried to induce her to go home, picked her up +under his arm and carried her out of the ballroom. Then came a couple of +years of opium-eating, fierce social excitement, divorce, new marriage, +and so on, until her husband agreeably decided to live in Nice, while she +lived somewhere else. Four days after I had met her at the dinner I saw +her again. I could scarcely believe my eyes. The woman had changed +completely. She was young again-twenty-five, in face and carriage, in +the eye and hand, in step and voice." + +"Who was the man?" suggested Frank Armour. "A man about her own age, +or a little more, but who was an infant beside her in knowledge of the +world." "She was in love with the fellow? It was a grande passion?" +asked Lambert. + +"In love with him? No, not at all. It was a momentary revival of an +old-possibility." + +"You mean that such women never really love?" + +"Perhaps once, Frank, but only after a fashion. The rest was mere +imitation of their first impulses." + +"And this woman?" + +"Well, the end came sooner than I expected. I tell you I was shocked at +the look in her face when I saw it again. That light had flickered out; +the sensitive alertness of hand, eye, voice, and carriage had died away; +lines had settled in the face, and the face itself had gone cold, with +that hard, cold passiveness which comes from exhausted emotions and a +closed heart. The jewels she wore might have been put upon a statue with +equal effect." + +"It seems to me that we might pitch into men in these things and not make +women the dreadful examples," said a voice from the corner. It was the +voice of Richard, who had but just entered. + +"My dear Dick," said his father, "men don't make such frightful examples, +because these things mean less to men than they do to women. Romance is +an incident to a man; he can even come through an affaire with no ideals +gone, with his mental fineness unimpaired; but it is different with a +woman. She has more emotion than mind, else there were no cradles in the +land. Her standards are set by the rules of the heart, and when she has +broken these rules she has lost her standard too. But to come back, it +is true, I think, as I said, that man or woman must not expect too much +out of life, but be satisfied with what they can get within the normal +courses of society and convention and home, and the end thereof is peace +--yes, upon my soul, it's peace." + +There was something very fine in the blunt, honest words of the old man, +whose name had ever been sweet with honour. + +"And the chief thing is that a man live up to his own standard," said +Lambert. "Isn't that so, Dick?--you're the wise man." + +"Every man should have laws of his own, I should think; commandments of +his own, for every man has a different set of circumstances wherein to +work--or worry." + +"The wisest man I ever knew," said Frank, dropping his cigar, "was a +little French-Canadian trapper up in the Saskatchewan country. A priest +asked him one day what was the best thing in life, and he answered: 'For +a young man's mind to be old, and an old man's heart to be young.' The +priest asked him how that could be. And he said: 'Good food, a good +woman to teach him when he is young, and a child to teach him when he is +old.' Then the priest said: 'What about the Church and the love of God?' +The little man thought a little, and then said: 'Well, it is the same-- +the love of man and woman came first in the world, then the child, then +God in the garden.' Afterwards he made a little speech of good-bye to +us, for we were going to the south while he remained in a fork of the Far +Off River. It was like some ancient blessing: that we should always have +a safe tent and no sorrow as we travelled; that we should always have a +cache for our food, and food for our cache; that we should never find a +tree that would not give sap, nor a field that would not grow grain; that +our bees should not freeze in winter, and that the honey should be thick, +and the comb break like snow in the teeth; that we keep hearts like the +morning, and that we come slow to the Four Corners where man says Good- +night." + +Each of the other men present wondered at that instant if Frank Armour +would, or could, have said this with the same feelings two months before. +He seemed almost transformed. + +"It reminds me," said the general, "of an inscription from an Egyptian +monument which an officer of the First put into English verse for me +years ago: + + "Fair be the garden where their loves shall dwell, + Safe be the highway where their feet may go, + Rich be the fields wherein their hands may toil, + The fountains many where their good wines flow. + Full be their harvest-bins with corn and oil, + To sorrow may their humour be a foil; + Quick be their hearts all wise delights to know, + Tardy their footsteps to the gate Farewell." + +There was a moment's silence after he had finished, and then there was +noise without, a sound of pattering feet; the door flew open, and in ran +a little figure in white--young Richard in his bed-gown, who had broken +away from his nurse, and had made his way to the billiard-room, where he +knew his uncle had gone. + +The child's face was flashing with mischief and adventure. He ran in +among the group, and stretched out his hands with a little fighting air. +His uncle Richard made a step towards him, but he ran back; his father +made as if to take him in his arms, but he evaded him. Presently the +door opened, the nurse entered, the child sprang from among the group, +and ran with a laughing defiance to the farthest end of the room, and, +leaning his chin on the billiard-table, flashed a look of defiant humour +at his pursuer. Presently the door opened again, and the figure of the +mother appeared. All at once the child's face altered; he stood +perfectly still, and waited for his mother to come to him. Lali had not +spoken, and she did not speak until, lifting the child, she came the +length of the billiard-table and faced them. + +"I beg your pardon," she said, "for intruding; but Richard has led +us a dance, and I suppose the mother may go where her child goes." + +"The mother and the child are always welcome wherever they go," said +General Armour quietly. + +All the men had risen to their feet, and they made a kind of semicircle +before her. The white-robed child had clasped its arms about her neck, +and nestled its face against hers, as if, with perfect satisfaction, it +had got to the end of its adventure; but the look of humour was still in +the eyes as they ran from Richard to his father and back again. + +Frank Armour stepped forwards and took the child's hand, as it rested on +the mother's shoulder. Lali's face underwent a slight change as her +husband's fingers touched her neck. + +"I must go," she said. "I hope I have not broken up a serious +conversation--or were you not so serious after all?" she said, glancing +archly at General Armour. "We were talking of women," said Lambert. + +"The subject is wide," replied Lali, "and the speakers many. One would +think some wisdom might be got in such a case." + +"Believe me, we were not trying to understand the subject," said Captain +Vidall; "the most that a mere man can do is to appreciate it." + +"There are some things that are hidden from the struggling mind of man, +and are revealed unto babes and the mothers of babes," said General +Armour gravely, as, reaching out his hands, he took the child from the +mother's arms, kissed it full upon the lips, and added: "Men do not +understand women, because men's minds have not been trained in the same +school. When once a man has mastered the very alphabet of motherhood, +then he shall have mastered the mind of woman; but I, at least, refuse to +say that I do not understand, from the stand-point of modern cynicism." + +"Ah, General, General!" said Lambert, "we have lost the chivalric way of +saying things, which belongs to your generation." + +By this time the wife had reached the door. She turned and held out her +arms for the child. General Armour came and placed the boy where he had +found it, and, with eyes suddenly filling, laid both his hands upon +Lali's and they clasped the child, and said: "It is worth while to have +lived so long and to have seen so much." Her eyes met his in a wistful, +anxious expression, shifted to those of her husband, dropped to the +cheeks of the child, and with the whispered word, which no one, not even +the general, heard, she passed from the room, the nurse following her. + +Perhaps some of the most striking contrasts are achieved in the least +melodramatic way. The sudden incursion of the child and its mother into +the group, the effect of their presence, and their soft departure, +leaving behind them, as it were, a trail of light, changed the whole +atmosphere of the room, as though some new life had been breathed into +it, charged each mind with new sensations, and gave each figure new +attitude. Not a man present but had had his full swing with the world, +none worse than most men, none better than most, save that each had +latent in him a good sense of honour concerning all civic and domestic +virtues. They were not men of sentimentality; they were not accustomed +to exposing their hearts upon their sleeve, but each, as the door closed, +recognised that something for one instant had come in among them, had +made their past conversation to appear meagre, crude, and lacking in both +height and depth. Somehow, they seemed to feel, although no words +expressed the thought, that for an instant they were in the presence of a +wisdom greater than any wisdom of a man's smoking-room. + +"It is wonderful, wonderful," said the general slowly, and no man asked +him why he said it, or what was wonderful. But Richard, sitting apart, +watched Frank's face acutely, himself wondering when the hour would come +that the wife would forgive her husband, and this situation so fraught +with danger would be relieved. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +ON THE EDGE OF A FUTURE + +At last the day of the wedding came, a beautiful September day, which may +be more beautiful in uncertain England than anywhere else. Lali had been +strangely quiet all the day before, and she had also seemed strangely +delicate. Perhaps, or perhaps not, she felt the crisis was approaching. +It is probable that when the mind has been strained for a long time, and +the heart and body suffered much, one sees a calamity vaguely, and cannot +define it; appreciates it, and does not know it. She came to Marion's +room about a half-hour before they were to start for the church. Marion +was already dressed and ready, save for the few final touches, which, +though they have been given a dozen times, must still again be given +just before the bride starts for the church. Such is the anxious mind +of women on these occasions. The two stood and looked at each other a +moment, each wondering what were the thoughts of the other. Lali was +struck by that high, proud look over which lay a glamour of infinite +satisfaction, of sweetness, which comes to every good woman's face when +she goes to the altar in a marriage which is not contingent on the rise +or fall in stocks, or a satisfactory settlement. Marion, looking, saw, +as if it had been revealed to her all at once, the intense and miraculous +change which had come over the young wife, even within the past two +months. Indeed, she had changed as much within that time as within all +the previous four years--that is, she had been brought to a certain point +in her education and experience, where without a newer and deeper +influence she could go no further. That newer and deeper influence had +come, and the result thereof was a woman standing upon the verge of the +real tragedy to her life, which was not in having married the man, but +in facing that marriage with her new intelligence and a transformed soul. +Men can face that sort of thing with a kind of philosophy, not because +men are better or wiser, but because it really means less to them. They +have resources of life, they can bury themselves in their ambitions good +or bad, but a woman can only bury herself in her affections, unless her +heart has been closed; and in that case she herself has lost much of what +made her adorable. And while she may go on with the closed heart and +become a saint, even saintship is hardly sufficient to compensate any man +or woman for a half-lived life. The only thing worth doing in this world +is to live life according to one's convictions--and one's heart. He or +she who sells that fine independence for a mess of pottage, no matter if +the mess be spiced, sells, as the Master said, the immortal part of him. + +And so Lali, just here on the edge of Marion's future, looking into that +mirror, was catching the reflection of her own life. When two women come +so near that, like the lovers in the Tempest, they have changed eyes, in +so far as to read each other's hearts, even indifferently, which is much +where two women are concerned, there is only one resource, and that is to +fall into each other's arms, and to weep if it be convenient, or to hold +their tears for a more fitting occasion; and most people will admit that +tears need not add to a bride's beauty. + +Marion might, therefore, be pardoned if she had her tears in her throat +and not in her eyes, and Lali, if they arose for a moment no higher than +her heart. But they did fall into each other's arms despite veils and +orange blossoms, and somehow Marion had the feeling for Lali that she had +on that first day at Greyhope, four years ago, when standing on the +bridge, the girl looked down into the water, tears dropping on her hands, +and Marion said to her: "Poor girl! poor girl!" The situations were the +same, because Lali had come to a new phase of her life, and what that +phase would be who could tell-happiness or despair? + +The usual person might think that Lali was placing herself and her wifely +affection at a rather high price, but then it is about the only thing +that a woman can place high, even though she be one-third a white woman +and two-thirds an Indian. Here was a beautiful woman, who had run the +gamut of a London season, who had played a pretty social part, admirably +trained therefor by one of the best and most cultured families of +England. Besides, why should any woman sell her affections even to her +husband, bargain away her love, the one thing that sanctifies "what God +hath joined let no man put asunder"? Lali was primitive, she was unlike +so many in a trivial world, but she was right. She might suffer, she +might die, but, after all, there are many things worse than that. Man is +born in a day, and he dies in a day, and the thing is easily over; but to +have a sick heart for three-fourths of one's lifetime is simply to have +death renewed every morning; and life at that price is not worth living. +In this sensitive age we are desperately anxious to save life, as if it +was the really great thing in the world; but in the good, strong times of +the earth--and in these times, indeed, when necessity knows its hour--men +held their lives as lightly as a bird upon the housetop which any chance +stone might drop. + +It is possible that at this moment the two women understood each other +better than they had ever done, and respected each other more. Lali, +recovering herself, spoke a few soft words of congratulation, and then +appeared to busy herself in putting little touches to Marion's dress, +that soft persuasion of fingers which does so much to coax mere cloth +into a sort of living harmony with the body. + +They had no more words of confidence, but in the porch of the church, +Marion, as she passed Lali, caught the slender fingers in her own and +pressed them tenderly. Marion was giving comfort, and yet if she had +been asked why she could not have told. She did not try to define it +further than to say to herself that she herself was having almost too +much happiness. The village was en fete, and peasants lined the street +leading to the church, ready with their hearty God-bless-you's. Lali sat +between her husband and Mrs. Armour, apparently impassive until there +came the question: "Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?" +and General Armour's voice came clear and strong: "I do." Then a soft +little cry broke from her, and she shivered slightly. Mrs. Armour did +not notice, but Frank and Mrs. Lambert heard and saw, and both were +afterwards watchful and solicitous. Frank caught Mrs. Lambert's eye, +and it said, to a little motion of the head: "Do not appear to notice." + +Lali was as if in a dream. She never took her eyes from the group at +the altar until the end, and the two, now man and wife, turned to go into +the vestry. Then she appeared to sink away into herself for a moment, +before she fell into conversation with the others, as they moved towards +the vestry. + +"It was beautiful, wasn't it?" ventured Edward Lambert. + +"The most beautiful wedding I ever saw," she answered, with a little +shadow of meaning; and Lambert guessed that it was the only one she had +seen since she came to England. + +"How well Vidall looked," said Frank, "and as proud as a sultan. Did you +hear what he said, as Marion came up the aisle?" + +"No," responded Lambert. + +"He said, 'By Jove, isn't she fine!' He didn't seem conscious that other +people were present." + +"Well, if a man hasn't some inspirations on his wedding-day when is he to +have them?" said Mrs. Lambert. "For my part, I think that the woman +always does that sort of thing better than a man. It is her really great +occasion, and she masters it--the comedy is all hers." They were just +then entering the vestry. + +"Or the tragedy, as the case may be," said Lali quietly, smiling at +Marion. She had, as it were, recovered herself, and her words had come +with that airy, impersonal tone which permits nothing of what is said in +it to be taken seriously. Something said by the others had recalled her +to herself, and she was now returned very suddenly to the old position of +alertness and social finesse. Something icy seemed to pass over her, and +she immediately lost all self-consciousness, and began to speak to her +husband with less reserve than she had shown since he had come. But he +was not deceived. He saw that at that very instant she was further away +from him than she had ever been. He sighed, in spite of himself, +as Lali, with well-turned words, said some loving greetings to Marion, +and then talked a moment with Captain Vidall. + +"Who can understand a woman?" said Lambert to his wife meaningly. + +"Whoever will," she answered. "How do you mean?" + +"Whoever will wait like the saint upon the pillar, will suffer like the +traveller in the desert; serve like a slave, and demand like a king; have +patience greater than Job; love ceaseless as a fountain in the hills; who +sees in the darkness and is not afraid of light; who distrusts not, +neither believes, but stands ready to be taught; who is prepared for a +kiss this hour and a reproach the next; who turneth neither to right nor +left at her words, but hath an unswerving eye--these shall understand a +woman." + +"I never knew you so philosophical. Where did you get this deliverance +on the subject?" + +"May not even a woman have a moment of inspiration?" + +"I should expect that of my wife." + +"And I should expect that of my husband. It is trite to say that men are +vain; I shall remark that they sit so much in their own light that they +are surprised if another being crosses their disc." + +"You always were clever, my dear, and you always were twice too good for +me." + +"Well, every woman--worth the knowing--is a missionary." + +"Where does Lali come in?" + +"Can you ask? To justify the claims of womanhood in spite of race--and +all." + +"To bring one man to a sense of the duty of sex to sex, eh?" + +"Truly. And is she not doing it well? See her now." They were now just +leaving the church, and Lali had taken General Armour's arm, while +Richard led his mother to the carriage. + +Lali was moving with a little touch of grandeur in her manner and a more +than ordinary deliberation. She had had a moment of great weakness, and +then there had come the reaction--carried almost too far by the force of +the will. She was indeed straining herself too far. Four years of +tension were culminating. + +"See her now, Edward," repeated Mrs. Lambert. "Yes, but if I'm not +mistaken, my dear, she is doing so well that she's going to pieces. +She's overstrung to-day. If it were you, you'd be in hysterics." + +"I believe you are right," was the grave reply. "There will be an end +to this comedy one way or another very soon." + +A moment afterwards they were in a carriage rolling away to Greyhope. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +THE END OF THE TRAIL + +When Marion was about leaving with her husband for the railway station, +she sought out Lali, and found her standing half hidden by the curtains +of a window, looking out at little Richard, who was parading his pony up +and down before the house. An unutterable sweetness looked out of +Marion's eyes. She had found, as it seemed to her, and as so many have +believed until their lives' end, the secret of existence. Lali saw the +glistening joy, and responded to it, just as it was in her being to +respond to every change of nature--that sensitiveness was in her as +deep as being. + +"You are very happy, dear?" she said to Marion. "You cannot think how +happy, Lali. And I want to say that I feel sure that you will yet be as +happy, even happier than I. Oh, it will come--it will come. And you +have the boy now-so fine, so good." + +Lali looked out to where little Richard disported himself; her eyes +shone, and she turned with a responsive but still sad smile to Marion. +"Marion," she said gently, "the other should have come before he came." +"Frank loves you, Lali." + +"Who knows? And then, oh, I cannot tell! How can one force one's heart? +No, no! One has to wait, and wait, even if the heart grows harder, and +one gets hopeless." + +Marion kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "Some day soon the heart will +open up, and then such a flood will pour out! See, Lali. I am going +now, and our lives won't run together so much again ever, perhaps. But I +want to tell you now that your coming to us has done me a world of good-- +helped me to be a wiser girl; and I ought to be a better woman for it. +Good-bye." + +They were calling to her, and with a hurried embrace the two parted, and +in a few moments the bride and bridegroom were on their way to the new +life. As the carriage disappeared in a turn of the limes, Lali vanished +also to her room. She was not seen at dinner. Mackenzie came to say +that she was not very well, and that she would keep to her room. Frank +sent several times during the evening to inquire after her, and was told +that she was resting comfortably. He did not try to see her, and in this +was wise. He had now fallen into a habit of delicate consideration, +which brought its own reward. He had given up hope of winning her heart +or confidence by storm, and had followed his finer and better instincts-- +had come to the point where he made no claims, and even in his own mind +stood upon no rights. His mother brought him word from Lali before he +retired, to say that she was sorry she could not see him, but giving him +a message and a commission into town the following morning for their son. +Her tact had grown is her strength had declined. There is something in +failing health--ill-health without disease--which sharpens and refines +the faculties, and makes the temper exquisitely sensitive--that is, with +people of a certain good sort. The aplomb and spirited manner in which +Lali had borne herself at the wedding and after, was the last flicker of +her old strength, and of the second phase in her married life. The end +of the first phase came with the ride at the quick-set hedge, this with +a less intent but as active a temper. + +The next morning she did not appear at breakfast, but sent a message to +Frank to say that she was better, and adding another commission for town. +All day, save for an hour on the balcony, she kept to her room, and lay +down for the greater part of the afternoon. In the evening, when Frank +returned, his mother sent for him, and frankly told him that she thought +it would be better for him to go away for a few weeks or so; that Lali +was in a languid, nervous state, and she thought that by the time he got +back--if he would go--she would be better, and that better things would +come for him. + +Frank was no longer the vain, selfish fellow who had married Lali-- +something of the best in him was at work. He understood, and suggested +a couple of weeks with Richard at their little place in Scotland. Also, +he saw his wife for a little while that evening. She had been lying +down, but she disposed herself in a deep chair before he entered. He was +a little shocked to see, as it were all at once, how delicate she looked. +He came and sat down near her, and after a few moments of friendly talk, +in which he spoke solicitously of her health, he told her that he thought +of going up to Scotland with Richard for a few weeks, if she saw no +objection. + +She did not quite understand why he was going. She thought that perhaps +he felt the strain of the situation, and that a little absence would be +good for both. This pleased her. She did not shrink, as she had so +often done since his return, when he laid his hand on hers for an +instant, as he asked her if she were willing that he should go. +Sometimes in the past few weeks she had almost hated him. Now she was +a little sorry for him, but she said that of course he must go; that no +doubt it was good that he should go, and so on, in gentle, allusive +phrases. The next evening she came down to dinner, and was more like +herself as she was before Frank came back, but she ate little, and before +the men came into the drawing-room she had excused herself, and retired; +at which Mrs. Lambert shook her head apprehensively at herself, and made +up her mind to stay at Greyhope longer than she intended. + +Which was good for all concerned; for, two nights after Frank and Richard +had gone, Mackenzie hurried down to the drawing-room with the news that +Lali had been found in a faint on her chamber floor. That was the +beginning of weeks of anxiety, in which Mrs. Lambert was to Mrs. Armour +what Marion would have been, and more; and both to Lali all that mother +and sister could be. + +Their patient was unlike any other that they had known. Feverish, +she had no fever; with a gentle, hacking cough, she had no lung trouble; +nervous, she still was oblivious to very much that went on around her; +hungering often for her child, she would not let him remain long with her +when he came. Her sleep was broken, and she sometimes talked to herself, +whether consciously or unconsciously they did not know. The doctor had +no remedies but tonics--he did not understand the case; but he gently +ventured the opinion that it was mostly a matter of race, that she was +pining because civilisation had been infused into her veins--the old +insufficient theory. + +"Stuff and nonsense!" said General Armour, when his wife told him. +"The girl bloomed till Frank came back. God bless my soul! she's falling +in love, and doesn't know what it is." + +He was only partly right, perhaps, but he was nearer the truth than the +dealer in quinine and a cheap philosophy of life. "She'll come around +all right, you'll see. Decline--decline be hanged! The girl shall live, +--damn it, she shall!" he blurted out, as his wife's eyes filled with +tears. + +Mrs. Lambert was much of the same mind as the general, but went further. +She said to Mrs. Armour that in all her life she had never seen so sweet +a character, so sensitive a mind--a mind whose sorrow was imagination. +And therein the little lady showed herself a person of wisdom. For none +of them had yet reckoned with that one great element in Lali's character +--that thing which is the birthright of all who own the North for a +mother, the awe of imagination, the awe and the pain, which in its finest +expression comes near, very near, to the supernatural. Lali's mind was +all pictures; she never thought of things in words, she saw them; and +everything in her life arrayed itself in a scene before her, made vivid +by her sensitive soul, so much more sensitive now with health failing, +the spirit wearing out the body. There was her malady--the sick heart +and mind. + +A new sickness wore upon her. It had not touched her from the day she +left the North until she sang "The Chase of the Yellow Swan" that first +evening after Frank's return. Ever since then her father was much in her +mind--the memory of her childhood, and its sweet, inspiring friendship +with Nature. All the roughness and coarseness of the life was refined +in her memory by the exquisite atmosphere of the North, the good sweet +earth, the strong bracing wind, the camaraderie of trees and streams and +grass and animals. And in it all stood her father, whom she had left +alone, in that interminable interval between the old life and the new. + +Had she done right? She had cut him off, as if he had never been--her +people, her country also; and for what? For this--for this sinking +sense, this failing body, this wear and tear of mind and heart, this +constant study to be possible where she had once been declared by the +world to be impossible. + +One night she lay sleeping after a rather feverish day, when it was +thought best to keep the child from her. Suddenly she waked, and sat up. +Looking straight before her, she said: + +"I will arise, and will go to my Father, and will say unto Him, Father, +I have sinned against heaven and before Thee, and am no more worthy to be +called Thy son." + +She said nothing more than this, and presently lay back, with eyes wide +open, gazing before her. Like this she lay all night long, a strange, +aching look in her face. There had come upon her the sudden impulse to +leave it all, and go back to her father. But the child--that gave her +pause. Towards morning she fell asleep, and slept far on into the day, +a thing that had not occurred for a long time. + +At noon a letter arrived for her. It came into General Armour's hands, +and he, seeing that it bore the stamp of the Hudson's Bay Company, with +the legend, From Fort St. Charles, concluded that it was news of Lali's +father. Then came the question whether the letter should be given to +her. The general was for doing so, and he prevailed. If it were bad +news, he said, it might raise her out of her present apathy and by +changing the play of her emotions do her good in the end. + +The letter was given to her in the afternoon. She took it apathetically, +but presently, seeing where it was from, she opened it hurriedly with a +little cry which was very like a moan too. There were two letters inside +one from the factor at Fort Charles in English, and one from her father +in the Indian language. She read her father's letter first, the other +fluttered to her feet from her lap. General Armour, looking down, saw a +sentence in it which, he felt, warranted him in picking it up, reading +it, and retaining it, his face settling into painful lines as he did so. +Days afterwards, Lali read her father's letter to Mrs. Armour. It ran: + + + My daughter, + + Lali, the sweet noise of the Spring: + + Thy father speaks. + + I have seen more than half a hundred moons come like the sickle and + go like the eye of a running buck, swelling with fire, but I hear + not thy voice at my tent door since the first one came and went. + + Thou art gone. + + Thy face was like the sun on running water; thy hand hung on thy + wrists like the ear of a young deer; thy foot was as soft on the + grass as the rain on a child's cheek; thy words were like snow in + summer, which melts in richness on the hot earth. Thy bow and arrow + hang lonely upon the wall, and thy empty cup is beside the pot. + + Thou art gone. + + Thou hast become great with a great race, and that is well. Our + race is not great, and shall not be, until the hour when the Mighty + Men of the Kimash Hills arise from their sleep and possess the land + again. + + Thou art gone. + + But thou hast seen many worlds, and thou hast learned great things, + and thou and I shall meet no more; for how shall the wise kneel at + the feet of the foolish, as thou didst kneel once at thy father's + feet? + + Thou art gone. + + High on the Clip Claw Hills the trees are green, in the Plain of the + Rolling Stars the wings of the wild fowl are many, and fine is the + mist upon Goldfly Lake; and the heart of Eye-of-the-Moon is strong. + + Thou art here. + + The trail is open to the White Valley, and the Scarlet Hunter hath + saved me, when my feet strayed in the plains and my eyes were + blinded. + + Thou art here. + + I have friends on the Far Off River who show me the yards where the + musk-ox gather; I have found the gardens of the young sable, and my + tents are full of store. + + Thou art here. + + In the morning my spirit is light, and I have harvest where I would + gather, and the stubble is for my foes. In the evening my limbs are + heavy, and I am at rest in my blanket. The hunt is mine and sleep + is mine, and my soul is cheerful when I remember thee. + + Thou art here. + + I have built for thee a place where thy spirit comes. I hear thee + when thou callest to me, and I kneel outside the door, for thou art + wise, and thou speakest to me; but thee as thou art in a far land I + shall see no more. This is my word to thee, that thou mayst know + that I am not alone. Thou shalt not come again, as thou once went; + it is not meet. But by these other ways I will speak to thee. + + Thou art here. + + Farewell. I have spoken. + +Lali finished reading, and then slowly folded up the letter. The writing +was that of the wife of the factor at Fort Charles--she knew it. She +sat for a minute looking straight before her. She read her father's +allegory. Barbarian in so much as her father was, he had beaten this +thing out with the hammer of wisdom. He missed her, but she must not +come back; she had outgrown the old life--he knew it and she was with +him in spirit, in his memory; she understood his picturesque phrases, +borrowed from the large, affluent world about him. Something of the +righteousness and magnanimity of this letter passed into her, giving her +for an instant a sort of peace. She had needed it--needed it to justify +herself, and she had been justified. To return was impossible--she had +known that all along, though she had not admitted it; the struggle had +been but a kind of remorse, after all. That her father should come to +her was also impossible--it was neither for her happiness nor his. She +had been two different persons in her life, and the first was only a +memory to the second. The father had solved the problem for her. He too +was now a memory that she could think on with pleasure, as associated +with the girl she once was. He had been well provided for by her +husband, and General Armour put his hand on hers gently and said: + +"Lali, without your permission I have read this other letter." + +She did not appear curious. She was thinking still of her father's +letter to her. She nodded abstractedly. "Lali," he continued, "this +says that your father wished that letter to be written to you just as he +said it at the Fort, on the day of the Feast of the Yellow Swan. He +stood up--the factor writes so here--and said that he had been thinking +much for years, and that the time had come when he must speak to his +daughter over the seas--" + +General Armour paused. Lali inclined her head, smiled wistfully, and +held up the letter for him to see. The general continued: + +"So he spoke as has been written to you, and then they had the Feast of +the Yellow Swan, and that night--" He paused again, but presently, his +voice a little husky, he went on: "That night he set out on a long +journey,"--he lifted the letter and looked at it, then met the serious +eyes of his daughter-in-law," on a long journey to the Hills of the +Mighty Men; and, my dear, he never came back; for, as he said, there was +peace in the White Valley, and he would rest till the world should come +to its Spring again, and the noise of its coming should be in his ears. +Those, Lali, are his very words." + +His hand closed on hers, he reached out and took the other hand, from +which the paper fluttered, and clasped both tight in his own firm grasp. + +"My daughter," he said, "you have another father." With a low cry, like +that of a fawn struck in the throat, she slid forward on her knees beside +him, and buried her face on his arm. She understood. Her father was +dead. Mrs. Armour came forward, and, kneeling also, drew the dark head +to her bosom. Then that flood came which sweeps away the rust that +gathers in the eyes and breaks through the closed dikes of the heart. + +Hours after, when she had fallen into a deep sleep, General Armour and +his wife met outside her bedroom door. + +"I shall not leave her," Mrs. Armour said. "Send for Frank. His time +has almost come." + +But it would not have come so soon had not something else occurred. The +day that he came back from Scotland he entered his wife's room, prepared +for a change in her, yet he did not find so much to make him happy as he +had hoped. She received him with a gentleness which touched him, she let +her hand rest in his, she seemed glad to have him with her. All bars had +been cast down between them, but he knew that she had not given him all, +and she knew it also. But she hoped he did not know, and she dreaded the +hour when he would speak out of his now full heart. He did not yet urge +his affection on her, he was simply devoted, and watchful, and tender, +and delightedly hopeful. + +But one night she came tapping at his door. When he opened it, she said: +"Oh come, come! Richard is ill! I have sent for the doctor." + +Henceforth she was her old self again, with a transformed spirit, her +motherhood spending itself in a thousand ways. She who was weak bodily +became now much stronger; the light of new vigour came to her eyes; she +and her husband, in the common peril, worked together, thinking little +of themselves, and all of the child. The last stage of the journey to +happiness was being passed, and if it was not obvious to themselves, +the others, Marion and Captain Vidall included, saw it. + +One anxious day, after the family doctor had left the sick child's room, +Marion, turning to the father and mother, said: "Greyhope will be itself +again. I will go and tell Richard that the danger is over." + +As she turned to do so, Richard entered the room. "I have seen the +doctor," he began, "and the little chap is going to pull along like a +house afire." + +Tapping Frank affectionately on the arm, he was about to continue, but +he saw what stopped him. He saw the last move in Frank Armour's tragic- +comedy. He and Marion left the room as quickly as was possible to him, +for, as he said himself, he was "slow at a quick march"; and a moment +afterwards the wife heard without demur her husband's tale of love for +her. + +Yet, as if to remind him of the wrong he had done, Heaven never granted +Frank Armour another child. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Every man should have laws of his own +Flood came which sweeps away the rust that gathers in the eyes +How can one force one's heart? No, no! One has to wait +Man or woman must not expect too much out of life +May be more beautiful in uncertain England than anywhere else +Men are shy with each other where their emotions are in play +Prepared for a kiss this hour and a reproach the next +Romance is an incident to a man +Simply to have death renewed every morning +To sorrow may their humour be a foil +We want to get more out of life than there really is in it +Who can understand a woman? +Worth while to have lived so long and to have seen so much + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRANSLATION OF A SAVAGE, V3, PARKER *** + +************ This file should be named 6213.txt or 6213.zip ************ + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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