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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..52d8c5d --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #61121 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/61121) diff --git a/old/61121-8.txt b/old/61121-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index de67094..0000000 --- a/old/61121-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1169 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Lay of the Sheriff, by Philip Lybbe Powys Lybbe - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Lay of the Sheriff - -Author: Philip Lybbe Powys Lybbe - -Release Date: March 16, 2020 [EBook #61121] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines - - - - - - - - -THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF - -BY - -PHILIP LYBBE POWYS LYBBE. - - - -LONDON - -PRINTED FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION. - -1869. - - - - - CHISWICK PRESS:--PRINTED BY WHITTINGHAM AND WILKINS, - TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE. - - - - - REVERENDO - - EDVARDO MOORE - - DE COLL. ÆN. NAS. OXON. ALUMNO, - S. S. MARIÆ DE VITCHURCH, OXON. RECTORI, - OPUSCULUM HOC, OLIM CONDITUM, - NUPER CONFECTUM, DICAT, DEDICATQUE - - PHILIPPUS LYBBE POWYS LYBBE, - - DE DOMO ET MANORIO DE HARDWICK, - ARMIGER. - - - - - PROLOGUE - - BY MRS. VANDERSTEGEN, MOTHER OF THE HIGH SHERIFF - OF OXFORDSHIRE, A. D. 1843. - - "Garrit aniles - Ex re fabellas." - HOR. _Sat._ Lib. 11. vi. 77. - - - Fiddlers, awake! Rouse up, ye fife and drum! - Clarion and trumpet, lo! I bid thee come! - Blow up, tin horn, twang, _harp of unbelievers!_[1] - Bring me your aid, ye marrow bones and cleavers! - Strike up at once, to celebrate this day! - Who'd not be jolly, and who'd not be gay? - I little thought such happy times to see, - Such bliss, such joys, a sheriff's _Ma_ to be! - Is't true? can such felicity be mine? - It glads me more than all my currant wine![2] - Or do I dream? or are my senses flown? - It's very strange, and mighty queer, I own, - But yet I am, I must be, Mrs. Van![3] - If I ain't, who is? who, good Heavens! can? - I see my cupboards full, and running o'er, - With tamarinds, nuts, and many a luscious store; - There's my old chair, and here the oaken presses - All full of mildew and brocaded dresses, - Fashion'd in times of yore, when in the throng - Of dazzling courtiers, as they pass'd along - The palace halls, my grandam stood confess'd - By all to be most beautifully dress'd; - There's my old shay, and there the red-nosed Bob - Who drives me slow, nor tires with the job. - It must be true, I must be Mrs. Van, - The Sheriff's Ma, disprove it ye who can! - And ye, the crowds,[4] who various duties tend - In this our own snug circle at Cane End, - Dismiss your labours, and with mirth and glee - Bellow hurrahs for Henry and for me! - Know for your feast (for now no English sinner - Can e'er do anything without a dinner); - Fox-hunters, statesmen, parsons, 'tis the same, - And even sheriffs must partake the blame: - For rumour tells me, shocking to relate, - That at the "_Star_" 'twill be my Henry's fate - O'er the Grand Jury Dinner to preside, - And last, not least, believe me, pay beside. - Sure I have had the kitchen table spread - With mutton bones, and sundry pounds of bread;[5] - Water in plenty, and (though very dear) - Two gallons of strong treble X small beer! - Drink if ye can! the beer's so very small - I think there'll almost be enough for all! - Drink! sing! rejoice! but let the Sheriff's praise - Afford a subject for your roundelays! - -[_Exit_ MRS. VAN. - - -[1] "While vibrating in unbelieving tooth - Harps twang in Drury's walls." - _Rejected Addresses_, 19th ed. p. 24, see note 1. - -[2] The Cane End currant wine was noted for its goodness.--AUTHOR. - -[3] With regard to this abbreviation of the family name, the following -anecdote may be relied on. A stranger to Cane End inquired of an -ancient inhabitant thereof where Mr. Vanderstegen lived? "Lord, Sir!" -(was the answer), "I cannot tell ye, but I knows where our Mr. Van -does!"--AUTHOR. - -[4] Report says, that the aforesaid red-nosed Bob, Screw Critchfield, -and Blind Betty are the only attendants of this ancient family. Of -course the text is more to be depended on than mere report. - -[5] This seems to be an allusion to a certain supper after a certain -ball. - - - - - CHORUS OF ATTENDANTS. - - _Red-nosed_ BOB _leader_. - - _Bottom_. "Where are these lads, - Where are these hearts?" - _Midsummer Night's Dream_, act iv. sc. 2. - - - Hail, happy day, our only holiday! - Hurrah, for old Cane End! - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah - Our master's a sheriff! - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah! - - Hail, happy day, our only holiday! - Hurrah for Mrs. Van! - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah - Our master's a sheriff, - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah! - - Hail happy day, our glorious holiday! - Hurrah for the sheriff! - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah! - Our master's a sheriff, - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah! - -[_Exeunt shouting and singing._ - - - - - THE LAY OF THE HIGH SHERIFF. - - - "Let's have him in a coach."--Boz. - - _Enter_ HIGH SHERIFF _nervous, anxious, and - apparently much concerned._ - - - Who'd be a sheriff, I should like to know, - With all this fuss and bother, teasing so? - These three last weeks I've not had any time - To sleep in quiet, eat, or drink my wine, - Though 'tis but little wine that I imbibe; - 'Tis sleep I love, past all the world beside. - My moments once were calm from nine at night; - My dreams were pleasant and my slumbers light - Till next day's noon; but now 'tis alter'd quite. - O Sleep! thou loveliest of the gifts divine - From God to man, would thou again were mine, - To hide the visions which for ever seem - Haunting my fever'd moments, of the team - Of _Waddell's_[1] jaded, miserable tits, - Which, ere the rail had knock'd their trade to bits, - In the "Tantivy" once so gaily pranced, - When _Cheeseman's_[2] bugle all our ears entranced, - And _Sal'sbury_[3] work'd his then _fast-trotting_ bays, - Now the sad emblems of regretted days! - Of wigs and judges, barristers and ermine, - Murders and felons, I can scarce determine - Whether on head or heels I rightly stand, - Wholly perplex'd, a very fish on land. - Swords and cock'd hats, with all my other dress, - O'erload my fancies and my brain oppress; - Where can I get a carriage for the judge? - To pay _Brown_[4] thirty _Guas_,[5] I own, I grudge; - What's to be done? A coach must needs be had. - A coach! but stay, the thought is none so bad, - I'll think me who, of all the people near, - Sport coaches, if I don't, whip me, that's clear; - The first coach-sporting neighbour that I know is - My best of friends, the worthy Squire Powys; - Yes! his will do, I'll ask for it to-morrow; - 'Twill save me much vexation, toil, and sorrow. - But will it do? Ah, stay! I fear me no! - There's something whispers, "Van," this here's no go; - 'Tis far too coachy, far too like the drags - Of which our noted Oxford builder[6] brags. - Indeed, you'd live to hear the judges say, - "Good Mr. Sheriff! What's the fare to pay?" - Had you that coach; besides, there's Master Phil[7] - To poke his fun, as well you know he will. - Next the bold captain's cumbersome and old. - Old as its owner, Rattletrappy, cold; - 'Twon't do! but now, I think me, Mr. Reade[8] - Of Ipsden, he's the man to serve my need. - I recollect when I at Ipsden call'd - One day last week, with wondering gaze enthrall'd, - I spied his carriage standing at the door, - New lined, new varnish'd and new painted o'er, - Crests, arms, and all the proper blazonry - Pomps and achievements, known in heraldry, - Cushions well-stuff'd, well padded, and behind - A charming footboard, suited to the mind - Of any London "figure man" who clings - Behind the well-appointed coach, that wings - Its course down Bond Street, or the crowded rings - Of that proud rendezvous of fashion yclept the Park. - And what though arms and crest unlike my own - Glare on its surface? who's to make it known,-- - No walking Gwyllim, Clarencieux, or Rouge Dragon - Infests our streets, to put an envious gag on - My borrow'd arms and crests. That I'll rely on. - One care's at rest;--but now my liveries claim - My next attention, and my thoughts' best aim: - What shall the coats be? blue turn'd up with green, - And smalls contrived of darkest velveteen? - Or green with blue, and (pray don't, Ladies, blush,) - Continuations built of crimson plush? - 'Tis passing hard for one, unskill'd as me - In dress, and such-like senseless vanity, - Such things to settle--would I had a wife! - I never long'd for one so in my life - (Not e'en when Jessica's fair hand I pray'd, - And struggled hard, with anxious hopes delay'd,) - As now, to bid some gorgeous liveries rise - To grace my servants and astound the eyes - Of wondering freshmen, javelineers, and Dons.[9] - I'll to my mother, she can best advise, - In coats and smalls she's wonderfully wise - (Who says she wears the latter _not_, he lies.) - When we've determined what the men shall wear, - Then in the shay to Letchworth's we'll repair; - He from his hoards of cloth blue, red, and green, - Shall rig out liveries such as ne'er were seen. - Such are my cares, and oh! I must confess - I feel much trembling and sad nervousness; - I've suffer'd much anxiety of late, - Dread are my prospects, painful is my fate - When I consider how the judge to meet! - Make a low bow, or fall down at his feet;-- - _And then_ my sword! 'twill sure be very queer, - Lest it upset me clean I greatly fear-- - Powers of Impudence! assist, I pray, - Give me some brass, and teach me how to say,-- - "Good day, your lordships, welcome to our city."[10] - Of Oxford, now I'm Sheriff--more's the pity. - 'Tis said, 'tis good, our griefs and joys t'impart - To kindly souls, and many a sorrowing heart - Where brooded hopeless, melancholy grief, - From sympathising friends has drawn relief. - May it be so with me! full many an hour - I've funk'd and stew'd[11] to think what earthly power - Could nerve me up sufficiently to fill - (The heart being sadly wanting, not the will,) - My Sheriff's office; even now a gleam - Of hope, though far, far off, is dimly seen - By my mind's eye,[12] new light within me burns, - Some welcome sprite my fear to courage turns, - Makes glad my heart, and bids my spirits rise! - What ho! within, some brandy and mince pies! - Uncork a bottle of that curious wine - Which once belonged to that grandfather mine - Who first from Holland, settled at Cane End. - Bring up, I say, a bottle! pray luck send - It be a good one! for 'tis true enough - It's either quite tip-top, or horrid stuff, - Like Thoyt's horse,[13] of which I knowledge had - Extremely good, or else extremely bad! - Here is a bottle! ah! 'tis wondrous kind, - Brilliant and sparkling, suited to the mind - Of more than sheriff, aldermanic quite! - I'll floor the bottle, then I'll say, "Good night"[14] - - -[1] Mr. Waddell, partner in the great coaching firm of Coster and -Waddell. At his funeral Mr. William Bowers, better known as "Black -Will," the oldest servant in his employ, drove the hearse. - -[2] The celebrated "Tantivy" eighteen stone guard, nevertheless, as -active as a really good yacht sailor, familiarly known by gownsmen as -"Double Glos'ter." - -[3] The accomplished artist who many years worked the "Tantivy" along -with Mr. Cracknell. Their style, and the performance of their splendid -bay team from Woodstock into Oxford, equalled any thing known in -coaching days, and are still in my mind's eye as they used to pass my -windows in the Old Grove at luncheon time. _Teste_ W. S. VAUX of the -British Museum. Mr. Cracknell was on the Brighton coach this season, -and it _was_ a _treat_ to sit alongside him. - -[4] His son still carries on the business in Castle Street, Reading, -with increased talent. _Teste_ two things just done for the author, -1868. - -Mr. Brown used to supply the Sheriff's coach, in which the under -Sheriff usually posted up to Oxford. - -[5] _Guas_ must be pronounced as spelled; _Guas_ are well known to -lawyers and clients also. - -[6] Shackleford, of George Lane, Oxford, one of the best four-horse -coach builders. He did the Tantivy work and all the other coaches that -ran through Oxford. - -_Teste_ the late James Castle of 44, Corn Market, son of the well-known -J. Castle, of the Blenheim. - -[7] The annotator confesses to being pretty considerably flummaxed by -this allusion. That some existing person is meant, appears from the -context, or else how could fun be poked by him? said Master Phil. - -He has bestowed great labour and attention upon the consideration of -this point. He has gone through all grades and classes of -Masters--builders, sweeps, carpenters, masons, keys, mariners, &c.; -Masters in Chancery, ordinary and extraordinary, not forgetting the -Rolls and Exchequer, Masters Smith, Brown, Thompson, Jones, Green, and -hosts more, but without finding the least trace of this Master Phil. - -He confesses to being regularly beat, and begs in "whipping off" to -add-- - - "That as he can't discover Master Phil, - He only hopes and trusts the reader will." - -[8] John Reade of Ipsden, in the county of Oxford, Esquire, a -well-known magistrate, celebrated for giving the law to the Judges and -the Bar; his exertions in mending the "ways" of the neighbouring -parishes, and sporting a blue umbrella on occasions about as suited for -such a display as the late Eglinton Tournay. - -[9] It may appear strange that the MS. should class "dons" among the -subjects into which amazement is to be struck by the sheriff's gorgeous -liveries. Were all people aware of the secluded life led by the Don -class, wonder would cease, and a conviction might arise, that were -Virgil now alive he might apply his line,-- - - "Et penitus toto divisos orbe Britannos," - -to Oxford Dons rather than the British community at large. - -[10] Oxford city has a sheriff of its own; our hero was the High -Sheriff of Oxfordshire, and so welcomed the Judges to the County town. - -[11] Etonice for being frightened, or alarmed at, as may be illustrated -by the following imaginary talk between two lower boys:--"I say, old -fellow, who funks a flogging?" "Not I, my boy! but I am in a precious -stew about that licking Box Major promised me!" - -[12] "In my mind's eye, Horatio."--_Hamlet_. - -[13] A somewhat abstruse and curious simile, at the first blush -apparently paradoxical, somewhat akin to "Aut Cæsar, aut nullus." The -author can vouch for the truth of it, as he heard it delivered. - -[14] The break that occurs here in the MS. seems to prove that the -Sheriff's promises were but partially fulfilled. There is ground for -the hypothesis that a sort of mutual flooring took place between the -sheriff and the bottle; in other words, that as the sheriff floored the -bottle, so the bottle returned the compliment, and effectually floored -the sheriff! - - - - - PART II. - - "Gentlemen from London; distinguished foreigners, - anything."--PICKWICK. - - - 'Twas noon, in fact old Tom[1] had just rung out - The mid-day hour. The crowd that hung about - The doors of that once famous hostelrie, - When 'neath the fostering sway of the Dupree,[2] - Had almost gaped and gazed their utmost fill, - Yet linger'd there, and gaped and wonder'd still; - As when in passing some secluded square, - I've seen a crowd of ragged urchins stare - With all attention and uplifted gaze - At a small theatre, covered with green baize, - Where Punch performs, with most discordant squeak, - His merry antics; now on gibbet's peak - Hanging (the rogue) the constable on high; - Now whopping Judy, whose most piteous cry - Rings through the square and stops the passers by-- - So did the crowd expectingly surround, - Jostling with push and thrust and oaths profound, - Gathering from every part, both near and far, - The gate of Oxford's fast declining "Star." - - But what's the row? There's something to be done; - It looks as if this shindy meant some fun, - Having the _entrée_ of this famed hotel, - We'll enter! "I say, Bob, just touch the bell." - "Coming, sir, d'rectly." Well, Smith[3] what's the cause - Of this tumultuous gathering and noise; - What's in the wind? we're just from London come, - Let's have the news! I'll bet it something rum." - "Oh, Sirs, the Sheriff causes all the fuss! - Excuse me, gents, I can't stay chattering thus;-- - What shall I get ye? mutton chops for two? - Or a grill'd fowl, or will some cutlets do? - The cook's half-roasted--house is very full, - The Judge is coming--you'll not find it dull." - - "Here are the cutlets and a pot of ale, - And while you're eating, you shall hear the tale - Of this High Sheriff!" "Who on earth is he? - (This tap's not bad, just hand it o'er to me.") - "Why, bless you, Sirs, 'tis Mr. Vanderstegen, - But here we call him 'Van;' I just now seed him - Dressing to go and bring the Judges in." - "How does he look?" "Why, really, quite the thing-- - Barring his flurry--which is not surprising; - But bless my life! why here he's coming down - Ready for starting! here! Jack, Dick, and Brown, - Way for the Sheriff! Let the Sheriff pass!" - - _Blow up, ye trumpeters!_ and crack your brass![4] - Hark to the trumpets' mirth-creating strain![5] - View the bold javelineers, a motley train, - Perch'd upon what, in long-departed days, - Might have been horses, grey, white, black, or bays; - Height is no object--some stand fifteen three, - Others not twelve; this one appears to be - Fresh from a barge! that other tottering steed - Is booked next week 'Lord Parker's'[6] hounds to feed! - Could Mancha's knight his Rozinante bring - To show against this miserable string, - I'd bet a hat (a Randall[7] or a Paris one) - He'd prove a downright "Clipper" by comparison. - 'Twere better far keep javelineers on foot,[8] - They're better there than where I've seen them put;-- - Scarce one his saddle gains alone, and in it - When there, what's next? he's out in half a minute - Hilloa! what's this? that leader's rather queer, - Don't like the bars! a little light, I fear, - Behind--hold hard! look how that wheeler jibs! - Stupid! hit t'other, punch him in the ribs, - Tom Ostler, can't ye? hark ye, Master Will, - When you'd start jibbers, jib they ne'er so ill, - Let them alone, _but make them go_ as will. - Try it again--at last they're off, full tilt, - Pray Heaven grant our Sheriff mayn't be spilt! - Forward's the word, when lo! a sudden stop - Causes the Sheriff from the coach to pop - His head, to learn the cause of this delay. - "Sir," says the footman, "cause of this delay, - Look you, the Judge's carriage stops the way." - It's useless now to dare contend with fate, - Make the best of it, as you are too late; - It can't be help'd, so come, O Sheriff Van, - Pluck up your heart to meet him, if you can! - 'Tis done! with solemn pace the Ipsden coach - With Judge, and Sheriff, (pale as any roach) - Reaches the goal, and sore from many a jar - Sets down its precious burthen at the "Star." - - -[1] Old Tom, not the Old Tom of London Gin notoriety, but the veritable -Tom of Christ Church, Oxford. - -[2] The famous landlady of the "Star" in the olden time. The Queen of -landladies. - -[3] The then excellent head-waiter at the Star. - -[4] "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks."--SHAKESPEARE _and_ DRYDEN. - -[5] Mirth-creating, inasmuch as people laugh'd at their _dis_cord. - -[6] Now Lord Macclesfield, the best man ever known to get foxes _away_ -in our beech-wood country. - -[7] An Oxford-bought hat was usually called a "Randall," after the -eminent _nunc_ alderman of that name, then in business in High Street. - -[8] They are on foot now (September 16, 1868). - - - - - THE DINNER. - - "Hold hard there, your eyes on me, gen'lemen."--MR. WELLER, - SENIOR. Pickwick. - - - Hark to the clatter of the knives and forks, - In go the corkscrews and out come the corks, - Head waiter Smith bends 'neath a ponderous dish, - One hopes a salmon, or some weightier fish, - May be a turbot or a royal sturgeon-- - The very thing one's appetite to urge on; - Covers of every size bedeck the feast, - The host has lots of "plate" to say the least; - It may be _plated_, though, 'tis hard to know - The real from sham, one does get puzzled so - By new inventions--here's albata plate, - Electro silver, numerous plans of late - Beguile the senses of the wondering guest, - And palm off drugs as equal to the best. - But to the dinner; one would think, forsooth, - 'Twould be a banquet worthy of the tooth - Of any a city gourmand; wait a minute, - Look at that dish, and mark ye what's there in it; - It seem'd to promise turbot or a sturgeon, - And lo! what's there? a pike set round with gudgeon! - Its vis-à-vis contains a bit of beef - Cut from a cow, that died last week of grief, - At hearing of Sir Robert's new tariff. - A brace of sickly chickens, tough and dried, - Usurp the centre, flank'd on either side - By bad potatoes, baked, boil'd, roast and fried. - I'd most forgot a piece of veal and ham-- - Try it--I'll bet a crown there's no one can. - Such, with a few disgusting tarts and pies, - Some cheese of which, at every mouthful, dies - A host of ugly vermin; such your bill - Of foul I call it--call it what you will. - Off with the cloth! don't let a trace remain - Of this vile medley. Off! I say again. - Oh, Mr. Griffith,[1] take a friend's advice, - Give the best dinner where you charge best price; - 'Twould be far better for your credit's sake, - As for your conscience; that, old Nick may take, - If he will have it, which I greatly doubt, - You are far too clever, he has found you out. - Who's on his legs; hurrah, 'tis honest John,[2] - That Fane of Fanes! What topic is he on; - Hark, let us listen! What on earth's he at? - He means some fun, rest well assured of that; - Gazing around, with mirth-creating grin, - Says he, "My friends, I scarce know where begin, - I am so modest, spare my youthful blushes, - I'm yet a colt and have not cut my tushes. - I beg permission to propose a toast. - Such as I guess, just now will please you most; - Health and long life to that illustrious man, - Our now high Sheriff, worthy neighbour Van. - Sheriff! your health! and now with three times three, - And as you love me! let it bumpers be; - We'll drink his health, now Gents, your eyes on me." - Finish'd the toast; High Sheriff! is the call; - Oh, dear! he looks just now uncommon small, - White as his choker, tho' blush-red by turns - With hectic flush, his quivering forehead burns. - At last for words he finds a labouring vent: - "I thank you, Gentlemen, with best intent - "To pay your kindness, with a due requite - "Of mingled thanks, enhanced with delight. - "As I am certainly not used to public speaking, - "And vainly now, for words of thanks am seeking, - "I'll cut it short, and with your kind permission, - "Seek in my chair an easier position." - Round goes the wine, full many a toast goes down, - To Queen and Country, Albert, Church and Crown. - Some worthy Dons, wine-warm'd, propose the Bar; - The Bar, the Dons, and swear the gems they are - Of Oxford's glory. They, good easy men, - Can't twig the joke, nor legal satire stem; - And is it so? for half their mouldering lives - They sweat their Fellowships, then marry wives; - Or when in College, they have topp'd the tree,[3] - They drone and doze in dull solemnity. - After this long digression we must try - Back to our Sheriff! What's this? Oh, my eye! - He's fast asleep, bad luck; in vain, in vain, - Old Ashurst[4] kicks, and kicks his shins again; - The Doctor roars[5] and Waterferry's chief,[6] - Thinks of some mode, to gain the wish'd relief. - Nought will avail! at last cries Fane, "Here goes, - Give us a cork, we'll black our sheriff's nose."[7] - - -[1] The "Star" sheriff's dinners, _teste_ the author, were miserable. -But as _per contra_ to his bad dinners, the author must record Mr. -Griffith's conduct towards the "Cause" in the election, A.D. 1862. -Colonel Fane won't forget it, nor the author. He placed his "Star," -all his horses, men, and carriages at the Colonel's service, free -gratis. - -[2] John Fane of Wormesly, late M.P. for Oxfordshire, father of the -Colonel, now M.P. for Oxfordshire--known as honest John Fane, Master of -Harriers, and "king of the most celebrated and successful Wormesly -Tournament." - -[3] The author begs to say that this expression must be taken -metaphorically. The worthy heads of the different Colleges would be -doubtless unable, from the expanse of waistcoat, to "top a tree," nor -would their sense of dignity allow it, if they could. He must except -the most Rev. the Prases of St. John's College, both from the tree and -dozing business; he is without dispute an honour to our College, our -University, and our County, - -[4] Late M.P. for Oxfordshire. _Vide_ his portrait in the County Hall. - -[5] His brother, late Fellow of All Souls, Oxford. - -[6] The Right Honourable J. W. Henley, M.P., &c. senior member for -Oxfordshire; and long may he so continue. - -[7] The author not having been present at this dinner cannot be -responsible for the concluding scene. He can only say that from his -personal knowledge of the parties, he thinks it might most likely have -occurred. - - - - - PART III. - - Vitæ me redde priori."--HORACE, _Epist._ Lib. 1. 7, 95. - - - 'Tis pass'd, and all is silence, o'er that scene, - Which of forensic eloquence has been - The fit arena; where with subtle brain, - Counsel have plied in nicely fitting train - Their logic's art, or press'd their rhetoric's aid - This to convince, the other to persuade - A doubting jury, where with anxious care, - Lest they in vain Justitia's sword should bear, - The upright guardians of our country's laws, - With practised eye, in each successive cause, - Watching the varying points, the tangled clue - Of facts explaining to the jury's view, - Have shown their power, unsullied to maintain - The sway of Justice, in her peaceful reign. - Can it be fitting, think ye, e'er to bend - Justice to Pleasure's gay voluptuous end? - Is such a time for mirth and revelry, - Is't in a Christian country we should see - The gay Assize Ball? Reader, pray reflect, - (If thou'rt a woman) can this be correct? - I know the warmth and kindness of your nature, - Mercy and pity gleam from every feature; - Your sex's innate modesty will aid - My words far more than countless offerings paid - To Fashion's shrine! Oh, think me not too vile - For your attention; stay the withering smile - That seems to say, "This is some scribbler's cant; - Some low born Reptile's Methodistic rant; - Or else, some Fallen Star, condemn'd to dwell - With swaggering ostlers, or to bear the bell - In drunken riots; banish'd from the sphere - Where one of us, he once had his career, - Now dares, in hate, his slanderous venom raise, - In envious longing for his bygone days." - Pardon me if I break discretion's chain - In daring thus your pretty selves t' arraign, - To curb your pleasures, and to draw the rein - Of better feelings, o'er your giddy race. - Look on this picture first, then try to face - The other! Here, with art's consummate care, - Deck'd and adorn'd with gold, her jewell'd hair - Glistening as sunbeams o'er the rippling tide - Reflected from some towering mountain's side, - Proud beauty seeks, with brightly flashing een, - The miscall'd glories of that heartless scene; - Where Weippert[1] proudly wakes his dulcet strains, - And pleasure's cold, unfeeling sceptre reigns. - Turn to the other; mark that darkening gate, - That fearful structure, brooding o'er the fate - Of fellow creatures! There in loathsome cell - A wretched felon counts each passing bell - That marks the hours, as in their noiseless speed - They near the fatal morn, and bid him heed - His soul's salvation, ere that sun shall rise, - Which last on earth shall meet his dying eyes. - Say, can ye still unfeelingly forbear - To shed for pity's sake one sorrowing tear. - I know that youthful blood beats high to thread - Those mystic mazes, fairies love to tread; - This is but Nature's province, she bestows - Your limbs and beauty, these she bids you use - At proper seasons; will ye dare abuse - Her precious favours? that can never be - The time for dances and frivolity, - When open-handed Justice wields the scale - That rights the just, and bids offenders quail. - But to our Sheriff; we have strangely bent - A wandering course in search of sentiment. - Back to the "Star;" we want no Advertiser, - My lords being gone, he'll prove no early riser. - Hah! here we have him, slumbering sweetly still, - We must not wake him, lest he take it ill; - And when his dander's up, let them stand by-- - Who'd singe a lion! I've no wish to try. - Steady a moment, just pull up the blind, - The sun breaks out, right on him, very kind; - May be 'twill wake him; ah, one other ray - Will do the trick; but, I say, look this way, - This jug, with water fill'd, so cold, so big, - I wish we dared to give him a cold pig.[2] - But sheriffs stand not gammon, in a crack - I'd have his rapier walking[3] through my back; - Good! he awakes, without our intervention, - (This, though no consequence, I wish to mention,) - And having rubb'd his eyes, and clear'd his throat, - Apostrophizes thus his Sheriff's coat:-- - "O thou bless'd emblem of my shrievalty, - Perpetual witness of my dignity; - In which I've braved the concentrated gaze - Of wondering myriads, for the last few days; - How can I thanks sufficiently express - For thy assistance, for I here confess - How much I owe[4] thee, when I lay thee by; - Thou at Cane End in lavender shalt lie, - Snug in a chest, secure from curious eye, - Save mine; and I whene'er the lid I raise, - Will laud thy virtues, and renew thy praise. - Now, on my pony, straightway I'll depart, - Lighter in pocket, lighter far in heart, - Back to Cane End; I fear my anxious mother - In rapturous joy her boy will almost smother; - But this I'll risk, and should the Fates prove kind, - Should they restore my long lost peace of mind, - In slumbers light I'll close my wearied eyes, - And doze in quiet till the next Assize." - - -[1] The name of Weippert recalls the memory of many happy balls in -Upper Harley Street, where Weippert always conducted in person. The -memory of the host lives in the author's mind. The hostess still -lives, and long may she live. (September 16, 1868.) - -The author is happy to say that Assize Balls are now "gone out;" when -he wrote this opusculum they did exist. (September 16, 1868.) - -[2] Should any fair reader be at a loss for the meaning of this -expression, ask any school-boy brother, if you have one, for a -practical illustration thereof, and mark the result. - -[3] The author remembers that "being pretty considerably walked into at -Collections," was a favourite phrase with undergraduates. Hence he -thus ventures to describe the undesirable transit of the sheriff's -toasting fork through his body. - -[4] From this sentiment of the Sheriff he seems to differ from William -of Wykeham, who, if the plates at New College high table are to be -relied upon, held that "manners makyth man." The Sheriff, on the -contrary, would seem to hold that "the coat makes the sheriff." - - - - PRINTED BY WHITINGHAM AND WILKINS, - TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE. - - - - - - - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Lay of the Sheriff, by Philip Lybbe Powys Lybbe - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF *** - -***** This file should be named 61121-8.txt or 61121-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/1/1/2/61121/ - -Produced by Al Haines -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Lay of the Sheriff - -Author: Philip Lybbe Powys Lybbe - -Release Date: March 16, 2020 [EBook #61121] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines - - - - - -</pre> - - -<h1> -<br /><br /> -THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF -</h1> - -<p class="t3"> -BY -</p> - -<p class="t2"> -PHILIP LYBBE POWYS LYBBE. -</p> - -<p><br /><br /></p> - -<p class="t3"> -LONDON -<br /><br /> -PRINTED FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION. -<br /><br /> -1869. -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p class="t4"> - CHISWICK PRESS:—PRINTED BY WHITTINGHAM AND WILKINS,<br /> - TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p class="t3"> - REVERENDO<br /> -</p> - -<p class="t3b"> - EDVARDO MOORE<br /> -</p> - -<p class="t3"> - DE COLL. ÆN. NAS. OXON. ALUMNO,<br /> - S. S. MARIÆ DE VITCHURCH, OXON. RECTORI,<br /> - OPUSCULUM HOC, OLIM CONDITUM,<br /> - NUPER CONFECTUM, DICAT, DEDICATQUE<br /> -</p> - -<p class="t3b"> - PHILIPPUS LYBBE POWYS LYBBE,<br /> -</p> - -<p class="t3"> - DE DOMO ET MANORIO DE HARDWICK,<br /> - ARMIGER.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap00b"></a></p> - -<h3> - PROLOGUE -</h3> - -<p class="t3"> - BY MRS. VANDERSTEGEN, MOTHER OF THE HIGH SHERIFF<br /> - OF OXFORDSHIRE, A. D. 1843.<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - "Garrit aniles<br /> - Ex re fabellas."<br /> - HOR. <i>Sat.</i> Lib. 11. vi. 77.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - Fiddlers, awake! Rouse up, ye fife and drum!<br /> - Clarion and trumpet, lo! I bid thee come!<br /> - Blow up, tin horn, twang, <i>harp of unbelievers!</i>[<a id="chap00bfn1text"></a><a href="#chap00bfn1">1</a>]<br /> - Bring me your aid, ye marrow bones and cleavers!<br /> - Strike up at once, to celebrate this day!<br /> - Who'd not be jolly, and who'd not be gay?<br /> - I little thought such happy times to see,<br /> - Such bliss, such joys, a sheriff's <i>Ma</i> to be!<br /> - Is't true? can such felicity be mine?<br /> - It glads me more than all my currant wine![<a id="chap00bfn2text"></a><a href="#chap00bfn2">2</a>]<br /> - Or do I dream? or are my senses flown?<br /> - It's very strange, and mighty queer, I own,<br /> - But yet I am, I must be, Mrs. Van![<a id="chap00bfn3text"></a><a href="#chap00bfn3">3</a>]<br /> - If I ain't, who is? who, good Heavens! can?<br /> - I see my cupboards full, and running o'er,<br /> - With tamarinds, nuts, and many a luscious store;<br /> - There's my old chair, and here the oaken presses<br /> - All full of mildew and brocaded dresses,<br /> - Fashion'd in times of yore, when in the throng<br /> - Of dazzling courtiers, as they pass'd along<br /> - The palace halls, my grandam stood confess'd<br /> - By all to be most beautifully dress'd;<br /> - There's my old shay, and there the red-nosed Bob<br /> - Who drives me slow, nor tires with the job.<br /> - It must be true, I must be Mrs. Van,<br /> - The Sheriff's Ma, disprove it ye who can!<br /> - And ye, the crowds,[<a id="chap00bfn4text"></a><a href="#chap00bfn4">4</a>] who various duties tend<br /> - In this our own snug circle at Cane End,<br /> - Dismiss your labours, and with mirth and glee<br /> - Bellow hurrahs for Henry and for me!<br /> - Know for your feast (for now no English sinner<br /> - Can e'er do anything without a dinner);<br /> - Fox-hunters, statesmen, parsons, 'tis the same,<br /> - And even sheriffs must partake the blame:<br /> - For rumour tells me, shocking to relate,<br /> - That at the "<i>Star</i>" 'twill be my Henry's fate<br /> - O'er the Grand Jury Dinner to preside,<br /> - And last, not least, believe me, pay beside.<br /> - Sure I have had the kitchen table spread<br /> - With mutton bones, and sundry pounds of bread;[<a id="chap00bfn5text"></a><a href="#chap00bfn5">5</a>]<br /> - Water in plenty, and (though very dear)<br /> - Two gallons of strong treble X small beer!<br /> - Drink if ye can! the beer's so very small<br /> - I think there'll almost be enough for all!<br /> - Drink! sing! rejoice! but let the Sheriff's praise<br /> - Afford a subject for your roundelays!<br /> -</p> - -<p class="noindent"> -[<i>Exit</i> MRS. VAN. -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap00bfn1"></a> -[<a href="#chap00bfn1text">1</a>] "While vibrating in unbelieving tooth - Harps twang in Drury's walls."<br /> - <i>Rejected Addresses</i>, 19th ed. p. 24, see note 1.<br /> -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap00bfn2"></a> -[<a href="#chap00bfn2text">2</a>] The Cane End currant wine was noted for its goodness.—AUTHOR. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap00bfn3"></a> -[<a href="#chap00bfn3text">3</a>] With regard to this abbreviation of the family name, the -following anecdote may be relied on. A stranger to Cane End -inquired of an ancient inhabitant thereof where Mr. Vanderstegen -lived? "Lord, Sir!" (was the answer), "I cannot tell ye, but I -knows where our Mr. Van does!"—AUTHOR. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap00bfn4"></a> -[<a href="#chap00bfn4text">4</a>] Report says, that the aforesaid red-nosed Bob, Screw -Critchfield, and Blind Betty are the only attendants -of this ancient family. -Of course the text is more to be depended on than mere report. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap00bfn5"></a> -[<a href="#chap00bfn5text">5</a>] This seems to be an allusion to a certain supper after a -certain ball. -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap00c"></a></p> - -<h3> - CHORUS OF ATTENDANTS. -</h3> - -<p class="t3"> - <i>Red-nosed</i> BOB <i>leader</i>.<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - <i>Bottom</i>. "Where are these lads,<br /> - Where are these hearts?"<br /> - <i>Midsummer Night's Dream</i>, act iv. sc. 2.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - Hail, happy day, our only holiday!<br /> - Hurrah, for old Cane End!<br /> - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah<br /> - Our master's a sheriff!<br /> - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah!<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - Hail, happy day, our only holiday!<br /> - Hurrah for Mrs. Van!<br /> - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah<br /> - Our master's a sheriff,<br /> - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah!<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - Hail happy day, our glorious holiday!<br /> - Hurrah for the sheriff!<br /> - Hip, hip, hip! hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!<br /> - Our master's a sheriff,<br /> - A sheriff, a sheriff, hurrah!<br /> -</p> - -<p class="noindent"> -[<i>Exeunt shouting and singing.</i> -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap01"></a></p> - -<h2> - THE LAY OF THE HIGH SHERIFF. -</h2> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="t3"> - "Let's have him in a coach."—Boz.<br /> -</p> - -<p class="t3"> - <i>Enter</i> HIGH SHERIFF <i>nervous, anxious, and<br /> - apparently much concerned.</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - Who'd be a sheriff, I should like to know,<br /> - With all this fuss and bother, teasing so?<br /> - These three last weeks I've not had any time<br /> - To sleep in quiet, eat, or drink my wine,<br /> - Though 'tis but little wine that I imbibe;<br /> - 'Tis sleep I love, past all the world beside.<br /> - My moments once were calm from nine at night;<br /> - My dreams were pleasant and my slumbers light<br /> - Till next day's noon; but now 'tis alter'd quite.<br /> - O Sleep! thou loveliest of the gifts divine<br /> - From God to man, would thou again were mine,<br /> - To hide the visions which for ever seem<br /> - Haunting my fever'd moments, of the team<br /> - Of <i>Waddell's</i>[<a id="chap01fn1text"></a><a href="#chap01fn1">1</a>] jaded, miserable tits,<br /> - Which, ere the rail had knock'd their trade to bits,<br /> - In the "Tantivy" once so gaily pranced,<br /> - When <i>Cheeseman's</i>[<a id="chap01fn2text"></a><a href="#chap01fn2">2</a>] bugle all our ears entranced,<br /> - And <i>Sal'sbury</i>[<a id="chap01fn3text"></a><a href="#chap01fn3">3</a>] work'd his then <i>fast-trotting</i> bays,<br /> - Now the sad emblems of regretted days!<br /> - Of wigs and judges, barristers and ermine,<br /> - Murders and felons, I can scarce determine<br /> - Whether on head or heels I rightly stand,<br /> - Wholly perplex'd, a very fish on land.<br /> - Swords and cock'd hats, with all my other dress,<br /> - O'erload my fancies and my brain oppress;<br /> - Where can I get a carriage for the judge?<br /> - To pay <i>Brown</i>[<a id="chap01fn4text"></a><a href="#chap01fn4">4</a>] thirty <i>Guas</i>,[<a id="chap01fn5text"></a><a href="#chap01fn5">5</a>] I own, I grudge;<br /> - What's to be done? A coach must needs be had.<br /> - A coach! but stay, the thought is none so bad,<br /> - I'll think me who, of all the people near,<br /> - Sport coaches, if I don't, whip me, that's clear;<br /> - The first coach-sporting neighbour that I know is<br /> - My best of friends, the worthy Squire Powys;<br /> - Yes! his will do, I'll ask for it to-morrow;<br /> - 'Twill save me much vexation, toil, and sorrow.<br /> - But will it do? Ah, stay! I fear me no!<br /> - There's something whispers, "Van," this here's no go;<br /> - 'Tis far too coachy, far too like the drags<br /> - Of which our noted Oxford builder[<a id="chap01fn6text"></a><a href="#chap01fn6">6</a>] brags.<br /> - Indeed, you'd live to hear the judges say,<br /> - "Good Mr. Sheriff! What's the fare to pay?"<br /> - Had you that coach; besides, there's Master Phil[<a id="chap01fn7text"></a><a href="#chap01fn7">7</a>]<br /> - To poke his fun, as well you know he will.<br /> - Next the bold captain's cumbersome and old.<br /> - Old as its owner, Rattletrappy, cold;<br /> - 'Twon't do! but now, I think me, Mr. Reade[<a id="chap01fn8text"></a><a href="#chap01fn8">8</a>]<br /> - Of Ipsden, he's the man to serve my need.<br /> - I recollect when I at Ipsden call'd<br /> - One day last week, with wondering gaze enthrall'd,<br /> - I spied his carriage standing at the door,<br /> - New lined, new varnish'd and new painted o'er,<br /> - Crests, arms, and all the proper blazonry<br /> - Pomps and achievements, known in heraldry,<br /> - Cushions well-stuff'd, well padded, and behind<br /> - A charming footboard, suited to the mind<br /> - Of any London "figure man" who clings<br /> - Behind the well-appointed coach, that wings<br /> - Its course down Bond Street, or the crowded rings<br /> - Of that proud rendezvous of fashion yclept the Park.<br /> - And what though arms and crest unlike my own<br /> - Glare on its surface? who's to make it known,—<br /> - No walking Gwyllim, Clarencieux, or Rouge Dragon<br /> - Infests our streets, to put an envious gag on<br /> - My borrow'd arms and crests. That I'll rely on.<br /> - One care's at rest;—but now my liveries claim<br /> - My next attention, and my thoughts' best aim:<br /> - What shall the coats be? blue turn'd up with green,<br /> - And smalls contrived of darkest velveteen?<br /> - Or green with blue, and (pray don't, Ladies, blush,)<br /> - Continuations built of crimson plush?<br /> - 'Tis passing hard for one, unskill'd as me<br /> - In dress, and such-like senseless vanity,<br /> - Such things to settle—would I had a wife!<br /> - I never long'd for one so in my life<br /> - (Not e'en when Jessica's fair hand I pray'd,<br /> - And struggled hard, with anxious hopes delay'd,)<br /> - As now, to bid some gorgeous liveries rise<br /> - To grace my servants and astound the eyes<br /> - Of wondering freshmen, javelineers, and Dons.[<a id="chap01fn9text"></a><a href="#chap01fn9">9</a>]<br /> - I'll to my mother, she can best advise,<br /> - In coats and smalls she's wonderfully wise<br /> - (Who says she wears the latter <i>not</i>, he lies.)<br /> - When we've determined what the men shall wear,<br /> - Then in the shay to Letchworth's we'll repair;<br /> - He from his hoards of cloth blue, red, and green,<br /> - Shall rig out liveries such as ne'er were seen.<br /> - Such are my cares, and oh! I must confess<br /> - I feel much trembling and sad nervousness;<br /> - I've suffer'd much anxiety of late,<br /> - Dread are my prospects, painful is my fate<br /> - When I consider how the judge to meet!<br /> - Make a low bow, or fall down at his feet;—<br /> - <i>And then</i> my sword! 'twill sure be very queer,<br /> - Lest it upset me clean I greatly fear—<br /> - Powers of Impudence! assist, I pray,<br /> - Give me some brass, and teach me how to say,—<br /> - "Good day, your lordships, welcome to our city."[<a id="chap01fn10text"></a><a href="#chap01fn10">10</a>]<br /> - Of Oxford, now I'm Sheriff—more's the pity.<br /> - 'Tis said, 'tis good, our griefs and joys t'impart<br /> - To kindly souls, and many a sorrowing heart<br /> - Where brooded hopeless, melancholy grief,<br /> - From sympathising friends has drawn relief.<br /> - May it be so with me! full many an hour<br /> - I've funk'd and stew'd[<a id="chap01fn11text"></a><a href="#chap01fn11">11</a>] to think what earthly power<br /> - Could nerve me up sufficiently to fill<br /> - (The heart being sadly wanting, not the will,)<br /> - My Sheriff's office; even now a gleam<br /> - Of hope, though far, far off, is dimly seen<br /> - By my mind's eye,[<a id="chap01fn12text"></a><a href="#chap01fn12">12</a>] new light within me burns,<br /> - Some welcome sprite my fear to courage turns,<br /> - Makes glad my heart, and bids my spirits rise!<br /> - What ho! within, some brandy and mince pies!<br /> - Uncork a bottle of that curious wine<br /> - Which once belonged to that grandfather mine<br /> - Who first from Holland, settled at Cane End.<br /> - Bring up, I say, a bottle! pray luck send<br /> - It be a good one! for 'tis true enough<br /> - It's either quite tip-top, or horrid stuff,<br /> - Like Thoyt's horse,[<a id="chap01fn13text"></a><a href="#chap01fn13">13</a>] of which I knowledge had<br /> - Extremely good, or else extremely bad!<br /> - Here is a bottle! ah! 'tis wondrous kind,<br /> - Brilliant and sparkling, suited to the mind<br /> - Of more than sheriff, aldermanic quite!<br /> - I'll floor the bottle, then I'll say, "Good night"[<a id="chap01fn14text"></a><a href="#chap01fn14">14</a>]<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn1"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn1text">1</a>] Mr. Waddell, partner in the great coaching firm of Coster -and Waddell. At his funeral Mr. William Bowers, better known -as "Black Will," the oldest servant in his employ, drove the hearse. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn2"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn2text">2</a>] The celebrated "Tantivy" eighteen stone guard, nevertheless, -as active as a really good yacht sailor, familiarly known by -gownsmen as "Double Glos'ter." -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn3"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn3text">3</a>] The accomplished artist who many years worked the "Tantivy" -along with Mr. Cracknell. Their style, and the performance -of their splendid bay team from Woodstock into Oxford, equalled -any thing known in coaching days, and are still in my mind's eye -as they used to pass my windows in the Old Grove at luncheon -time. <i>Teste</i> W. S. VAUX of the British Museum. Mr. Cracknell -was on the Brighton coach this season, and it <i>was</i> a <i>treat</i> to sit -alongside him. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn4"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn4text">4</a>] His son still carries on the business in Castle Street, Reading, -with increased talent. <i>Teste</i> two things just done for the author, -1868. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -Mr. Brown used to supply the Sheriff's coach, in which the -under Sheriff usually posted up to Oxford. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn5"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn5text">5</a>] <i>Guas</i> must be pronounced as spelled; <i>Guas</i> are well known to -lawyers and clients also. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn6"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn6text">6</a>] Shackleford, of George Lane, Oxford, one of the best -four-horse coach builders. He did the Tantivy work and all the -other coaches that ran through Oxford. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<i>Teste</i> the late James Castle of 44, Corn Market, son of the -well-known J. Castle, of the Blenheim. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn7"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn7text">7</a>] The annotator confesses to being pretty considerably -flummaxed by this allusion. That some existing person is meant, -appears from the context, or else how could fun be poked by -him? said Master Phil. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -He has bestowed great labour and attention upon the -consideration of this point. He has gone through all grades and -classes of Masters—builders, sweeps, carpenters, masons, keys, -mariners, &c.; Masters in Chancery, ordinary and extraordinary, -not forgetting the Rolls and Exchequer, Masters Smith, Brown, -Thompson, Jones, Green, and hosts more, but without finding the -least trace of this Master Phil. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -He confesses to being regularly beat, and begs in "whipping -off" to add— -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> - "That as he can't discover Master Phil,<br /> - He only hopes and trusts the reader will."<br /> -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn8"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn8text">8</a>] John Reade of Ipsden, in the county of Oxford, Esquire, a -well-known magistrate, celebrated for giving the law to the Judges -and the Bar; his exertions in mending the "ways" of the neighbouring -parishes, and sporting a blue umbrella on occasions about -as suited for such a display as the late Eglinton Tournay. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn9"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn9text">9</a>] It may appear strange that the MS. should class "dons" -among the subjects into which amazement is to be struck by the -sheriff's gorgeous liveries. Were all people aware of the secluded -life led by the Don class, wonder would cease, and a conviction -might arise, that were Virgil now alive he might apply his line,— -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> - "Et penitus toto divisos orbe Britannos,"<br /> -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -to Oxford Dons rather than the British community at large. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn10"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn10text">10</a>] Oxford city has a sheriff of its own; our hero was the High -Sheriff of Oxfordshire, and so welcomed the Judges to the County -town. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn11"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn11text">11</a>] Etonice for being frightened, or alarmed at, as may be -illustrated by the following imaginary talk between two lower -boys:—"I say, old fellow, who funks a flogging?" "Not -I, my boy! but -I am in a precious stew about that licking Box Major promised me!" -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn12"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn12text">12</a>] "In my mind's eye, Horatio."—<i>Hamlet</i>. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn13"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn13text">13</a>] A somewhat abstruse and curious simile, at the first blush -apparently paradoxical, somewhat akin to "Aut Cæsar, aut nullus." -The author can vouch for the truth of it, as he heard it delivered. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap01fn14"></a> -[<a href="#chap01fn14text">14</a>] The break that occurs here in the MS. seems to prove that -the Sheriff's promises were but partially fulfilled. There is ground -for the hypothesis that a sort of mutual flooring took place between -the sheriff and the bottle; in other words, that as the sheriff floored -the bottle, so the bottle returned the compliment, and effectually -floored the sheriff! -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap02"></a></p> - -<h3> - PART II. -</h3> - -<p class="t3"> - "Gentlemen from London; distinguished foreigners,<br /> - anything."—PICKWICK.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - 'Twas noon, in fact old Tom[<a id="chap02fn1text"></a><a href="#chap02fn1">1</a>] had just rung out<br /> - The mid-day hour. The crowd that hung about<br /> - The doors of that once famous hostelrie,<br /> - When 'neath the fostering sway of the Dupree,[<a id="chap02fn2text"></a><a href="#chap02fn2">2</a>]<br /> - Had almost gaped and gazed their utmost fill,<br /> - Yet linger'd there, and gaped and wonder'd still;<br /> - As when in passing some secluded square,<br /> - I've seen a crowd of ragged urchins stare<br /> - With all attention and uplifted gaze<br /> - At a small theatre, covered with green baize,<br /> - Where Punch performs, with most discordant squeak,<br /> - His merry antics; now on gibbet's peak<br /> - Hanging (the rogue) the constable on high;<br /> - Now whopping Judy, whose most piteous cry<br /> - Rings through the square and stops the passers by—<br /> - So did the crowd expectingly surround,<br /> - Jostling with push and thrust and oaths profound,<br /> - Gathering from every part, both near and far,<br /> - The gate of Oxford's fast declining "Star."<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - But what's the row? There's something to be done;<br /> - It looks as if this shindy meant some fun,<br /> - Having the <i>entrée</i> of this famed hotel,<br /> - We'll enter! "I say, Bob, just touch the bell."<br /> - "Coming, sir, d'rectly." Well, Smith[<a id="chap02fn3text"></a><a href="#chap02fn3">3</a>] what's the cause<br /> - Of this tumultuous gathering and noise;<br /> - What's in the wind? we're just from London come,<br /> - Let's have the news! I'll bet it something rum."<br /> - "Oh, Sirs, the Sheriff causes all the fuss!<br /> - Excuse me, gents, I can't stay chattering thus;—<br /> - What shall I get ye? mutton chops for two?<br /> - Or a grill'd fowl, or will some cutlets do?<br /> - The cook's half-roasted—house is very full,<br /> - The Judge is coming—you'll not find it dull."<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - "Here are the cutlets and a pot of ale,<br /> - And while you're eating, you shall hear the tale<br /> - Of this High Sheriff!" "Who on earth is he?<br /> - (This tap's not bad, just hand it o'er to me.")<br /> - "Why, bless you, Sirs, 'tis Mr. Vanderstegen,<br /> - But here we call him 'Van;' I just now seed him<br /> - Dressing to go and bring the Judges in."<br /> - "How does he look?" "Why, really, quite the thing—<br /> - Barring his flurry—which is not surprising;<br /> - But bless my life! why here he's coming down<br /> - Ready for starting! here! Jack, Dick, and Brown,<br /> - Way for the Sheriff! Let the Sheriff pass!"<br /> -</p> - -<p class="poem"> - <i>Blow up, ye trumpeters!</i> and crack your brass![<a id="chap02fn4text"></a><a href="#chap02fn4">4</a>]<br /> - Hark to the trumpets' mirth-creating strain![<a id="chap02fn5text"></a><a href="#chap02fn5">5</a>]<br /> - View the bold javelineers, a motley train,<br /> - Perch'd upon what, in long-departed days,<br /> - Might have been horses, grey, white, black, or bays;<br /> - Height is no object—some stand fifteen three,<br /> - Others not twelve; this one appears to be<br /> - Fresh from a barge! that other tottering steed<br /> - Is booked next week 'Lord Parker's'[<a id="chap02fn6text"></a><a href="#chap02fn6">6</a>] hounds to feed!<br /> - Could Mancha's knight his Rozinante bring<br /> - To show against this miserable string,<br /> - I'd bet a hat (a Randall[<a id="chap02fn7text"></a><a href="#chap02fn7">7</a>] or a Paris one)<br /> - He'd prove a downright "Clipper" by comparison.<br /> - 'Twere better far keep javelineers on foot,[<a id="chap02fn8text"></a><a href="#chap02fn8">8</a>]<br /> - They're better there than where I've seen them put;—<br /> - Scarce one his saddle gains alone, and in it<br /> - When there, what's next? he's out in half a minute<br /> - Hilloa! what's this? that leader's rather queer,<br /> - Don't like the bars! a little light, I fear,<br /> - Behind—hold hard! look how that wheeler jibs!<br /> - Stupid! hit t'other, punch him in the ribs,<br /> - Tom Ostler, can't ye? hark ye, Master Will,<br /> - When you'd start jibbers, jib they ne'er so ill,<br /> - Let them alone, <i>but make them go</i> as will.<br /> - Try it again—at last they're off, full tilt,<br /> - Pray Heaven grant our Sheriff mayn't be spilt!<br /> - Forward's the word, when lo! a sudden stop<br /> - Causes the Sheriff from the coach to pop<br /> - His head, to learn the cause of this delay.<br /> - "Sir," says the footman, "cause of this delay,<br /> - Look you, the Judge's carriage stops the way."<br /> - It's useless now to dare contend with fate,<br /> - Make the best of it, as you are too late;<br /> - It can't be help'd, so come, O Sheriff Van,<br /> - Pluck up your heart to meet him, if you can!<br /> - 'Tis done! with solemn pace the Ipsden coach<br /> - With Judge, and Sheriff, (pale as any roach)<br /> - Reaches the goal, and sore from many a jar<br /> - Sets down its precious burthen at the "Star."<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn1"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn1text">1</a>] Old Tom, not the Old Tom of London Gin notoriety, but -the veritable Tom of Christ Church, Oxford. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn2"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn2text">2</a>] The famous landlady of the "Star" in the olden time. The -Queen of landladies. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn3"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn3text">3</a>] The then excellent head-waiter at the Star. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn4"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn4text">4</a>] "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks."—SHAKESPEARE -<i>and</i> DRYDEN. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn5"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn5text">5</a>] Mirth-creating, inasmuch as people laugh'd at their <i>dis</i>cord. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn6"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn6text">6</a>] Now Lord Macclesfield, the best man ever known to get -foxes <i>away</i> in our beech-wood country. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn7"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn7text">7</a>] An Oxford-bought hat was usually called a "Randall," after -the eminent <i>nunc</i> alderman of that name, then in business in High -Street. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02fn8"></a> -[<a href="#chap02fn8text">8</a>] They are on foot now (September 16, 1868). -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap02b"></a></p> - -<h3> - THE DINNER. -</h3> - -<p class="t3"> - "Hold hard there, your eyes on me, gen'lemen."—MR. WELLER,<br /> - SENIOR. Pickwick.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - Hark to the clatter of the knives and forks,<br /> - In go the corkscrews and out come the corks,<br /> - Head waiter Smith bends 'neath a ponderous dish,<br /> - One hopes a salmon, or some weightier fish,<br /> - May be a turbot or a royal sturgeon—<br /> - The very thing one's appetite to urge on;<br /> - Covers of every size bedeck the feast,<br /> - The host has lots of "plate" to say the least;<br /> - It may be <i>plated</i>, though, 'tis hard to know<br /> - The real from sham, one does get puzzled so<br /> - By new inventions—here's albata plate,<br /> - Electro silver, numerous plans of late<br /> - Beguile the senses of the wondering guest,<br /> - And palm off drugs as equal to the best.<br /> - But to the dinner; one would think, forsooth,<br /> - 'Twould be a banquet worthy of the tooth<br /> - Of any a city gourmand; wait a minute,<br /> - Look at that dish, and mark ye what's there in it;<br /> - It seem'd to promise turbot or a sturgeon,<br /> - And lo! what's there? a pike set round with gudgeon!<br /> - Its vis-à-vis contains a bit of beef<br /> - Cut from a cow, that died last week of grief,<br /> - At hearing of Sir Robert's new tariff.<br /> - A brace of sickly chickens, tough and dried,<br /> - Usurp the centre, flank'd on either side<br /> - By bad potatoes, baked, boil'd, roast and fried.<br /> - I'd most forgot a piece of veal and ham—<br /> - Try it—I'll bet a crown there's no one can.<br /> - Such, with a few disgusting tarts and pies,<br /> - Some cheese of which, at every mouthful, dies<br /> - A host of ugly vermin; such your bill<br /> - Of foul I call it—call it what you will.<br /> - Off with the cloth! don't let a trace remain<br /> - Of this vile medley. Off! I say again.<br /> - Oh, Mr. Griffith,[<a id="chap02bfn1text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn1">1</a>] take a friend's advice,<br /> - Give the best dinner where you charge best price;<br /> - 'Twould be far better for your credit's sake,<br /> - As for your conscience; that, old Nick may take,<br /> - If he will have it, which I greatly doubt,<br /> - You are far too clever, he has found you out.<br /> - Who's on his legs; hurrah, 'tis honest John,[<a id="chap02bfn2text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn2">2</a>]<br /> - That Fane of Fanes! What topic is he on;<br /> - Hark, let us listen! What on earth's he at?<br /> - He means some fun, rest well assured of that;<br /> - Gazing around, with mirth-creating grin,<br /> - Says he, "My friends, I scarce know where begin,<br /> - I am so modest, spare my youthful blushes,<br /> - I'm yet a colt and have not cut my tushes.<br /> - I beg permission to propose a toast.<br /> - Such as I guess, just now will please you most;<br /> - Health and long life to that illustrious man,<br /> - Our now high Sheriff, worthy neighbour Van.<br /> - Sheriff! your health! and now with three times three,<br /> - And as you love me! let it bumpers be;<br /> - We'll drink his health, now Gents, your eyes on me."<br /> - Finish'd the toast; High Sheriff! is the call;<br /> - Oh, dear! he looks just now uncommon small,<br /> - White as his choker, tho' blush-red by turns<br /> - With hectic flush, his quivering forehead burns.<br /> - At last for words he finds a labouring vent:<br /> - "I thank you, Gentlemen, with best intent<br /> - "To pay your kindness, with a due requite<br /> - "Of mingled thanks, enhanced with delight.<br /> - "As I am certainly not used to public speaking,<br /> - "And vainly now, for words of thanks am seeking,<br /> - "I'll cut it short, and with your kind permission,<br /> - "Seek in my chair an easier position."<br /> - Round goes the wine, full many a toast goes down,<br /> - To Queen and Country, Albert, Church and Crown.<br /> - Some worthy Dons, wine-warm'd, propose the Bar;<br /> - The Bar, the Dons, and swear the gems they are<br /> - Of Oxford's glory. They, good easy men,<br /> - Can't twig the joke, nor legal satire stem;<br /> - And is it so? for half their mouldering lives<br /> - They sweat their Fellowships, then marry wives;<br /> - Or when in College, they have topp'd the tree,[<a id="chap02bfn3text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn3">3</a>]<br /> - They drone and doze in dull solemnity.<br /> - After this long digression we must try<br /> - Back to our Sheriff! What's this? Oh, my eye!<br /> - He's fast asleep, bad luck; in vain, in vain,<br /> - Old Ashurst[<a id="chap02bfn4text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn4">4</a>] kicks, and kicks his shins again;<br /> - The Doctor roars[<a id="chap02bfn5text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn5">5</a>] and Waterferry's chief,[<a id="chap02bfn6text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn6">6</a>]<br /> - Thinks of some mode, to gain the wish'd relief.<br /> - Nought will avail! at last cries Fane, "Here goes,<br /> - Give us a cork, we'll black our sheriff's nose."[<a id="chap02bfn7text"></a><a href="#chap02bfn7">7</a>]<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn1"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn1text">1</a>] The "Star" sheriff's dinners, <i>teste</i> the author, were miserable. -But as <i>per contra</i> to his bad dinners, the author must record -Mr. Griffith's conduct towards the "Cause" in the election, -A.D. 1862. Colonel Fane won't forget it, nor the author. He -placed his "Star," all his horses, men, and carriages at the Colonel's -service, free gratis. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn2"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn2text">2</a>] John Fane of Wormesly, late M.P. for Oxfordshire, father of -the Colonel, now M.P. for Oxfordshire—known as honest John -Fane, Master of Harriers, and "king of the most celebrated and -successful Wormesly Tournament." -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn3"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn3text">3</a>] The author begs to say that this expression must be taken -metaphorically. The worthy heads of the different Colleges would -be doubtless unable, from the expanse of waistcoat, to "top a -tree," nor would their sense of dignity allow it, if they could. -He must except the most Rev. the Prases of St. John's -College, both from the tree and dozing business; he is without -dispute an honour to our College, our University, and our County, -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn4"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn4text">4</a>] Late M.P. for Oxfordshire. <i>Vide</i> his portrait in the County -Hall. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn5"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn5text">5</a>] His brother, late Fellow of All Souls, Oxford. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn6"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn6text">6</a>] The Right Honourable J. W. Henley, M.P., &c. senior -member for Oxfordshire; and long may he so continue. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap02bfn7"></a> -[<a href="#chap02bfn7text">7</a>] The author not having been present at this dinner cannot be -responsible for the concluding scene. He can only say that from -his personal knowledge of the parties, he thinks it might most -likely have occurred. -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /></p> - -<p><a id="chap03"></a></p> - -<h3> - PART III. -</h3> - -<p class="t3"> - Vitæ me redde priori."—HORACE, <i>Epist.</i> Lib. 1. 7, 95.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="poem"> - 'Tis pass'd, and all is silence, o'er that scene,<br /> - Which of forensic eloquence has been<br /> - The fit arena; where with subtle brain,<br /> - Counsel have plied in nicely fitting train<br /> - Their logic's art, or press'd their rhetoric's aid<br /> - This to convince, the other to persuade<br /> - A doubting jury, where with anxious care,<br /> - Lest they in vain Justitia's sword should bear,<br /> - The upright guardians of our country's laws,<br /> - With practised eye, in each successive cause,<br /> - Watching the varying points, the tangled clue<br /> - Of facts explaining to the jury's view,<br /> - Have shown their power, unsullied to maintain<br /> - The sway of Justice, in her peaceful reign.<br /> - Can it be fitting, think ye, e'er to bend<br /> - Justice to Pleasure's gay voluptuous end?<br /> - Is such a time for mirth and revelry,<br /> - Is't in a Christian country we should see<br /> - The gay Assize Ball? Reader, pray reflect,<br /> - (If thou'rt a woman) can this be correct?<br /> - I know the warmth and kindness of your nature,<br /> - Mercy and pity gleam from every feature;<br /> - Your sex's innate modesty will aid<br /> - My words far more than countless offerings paid<br /> - To Fashion's shrine! Oh, think me not too vile<br /> - For your attention; stay the withering smile<br /> - That seems to say, "This is some scribbler's cant;<br /> - Some low born Reptile's Methodistic rant;<br /> - Or else, some Fallen Star, condemn'd to dwell<br /> - With swaggering ostlers, or to bear the bell<br /> - In drunken riots; banish'd from the sphere<br /> - Where one of us, he once had his career,<br /> - Now dares, in hate, his slanderous venom raise,<br /> - In envious longing for his bygone days."<br /> - Pardon me if I break discretion's chain<br /> - In daring thus your pretty selves t' arraign,<br /> - To curb your pleasures, and to draw the rein<br /> - Of better feelings, o'er your giddy race.<br /> - Look on this picture first, then try to face<br /> - The other! Here, with art's consummate care,<br /> - Deck'd and adorn'd with gold, her jewell'd hair<br /> - Glistening as sunbeams o'er the rippling tide<br /> - Reflected from some towering mountain's side,<br /> - Proud beauty seeks, with brightly flashing een,<br /> - The miscall'd glories of that heartless scene;<br /> - Where Weippert[<a id="chap03fn1text"></a><a href="#chap03fn1">1</a>] proudly wakes his dulcet strains,<br /> - And pleasure's cold, unfeeling sceptre reigns.<br /> - Turn to the other; mark that darkening gate,<br /> - That fearful structure, brooding o'er the fate<br /> - Of fellow creatures! There in loathsome cell<br /> - A wretched felon counts each passing bell<br /> - That marks the hours, as in their noiseless speed<br /> - They near the fatal morn, and bid him heed<br /> - His soul's salvation, ere that sun shall rise,<br /> - Which last on earth shall meet his dying eyes.<br /> - Say, can ye still unfeelingly forbear<br /> - To shed for pity's sake one sorrowing tear.<br /> - I know that youthful blood beats high to thread<br /> - Those mystic mazes, fairies love to tread;<br /> - This is but Nature's province, she bestows<br /> - Your limbs and beauty, these she bids you use<br /> - At proper seasons; will ye dare abuse<br /> - Her precious favours? that can never be<br /> - The time for dances and frivolity,<br /> - When open-handed Justice wields the scale<br /> - That rights the just, and bids offenders quail.<br /> - But to our Sheriff; we have strangely bent<br /> - A wandering course in search of sentiment.<br /> - Back to the "Star;" we want no Advertiser,<br /> - My lords being gone, he'll prove no early riser.<br /> - Hah! here we have him, slumbering sweetly still,<br /> - We must not wake him, lest he take it ill;<br /> - And when his dander's up, let them stand by—<br /> - Who'd singe a lion! I've no wish to try.<br /> - Steady a moment, just pull up the blind,<br /> - The sun breaks out, right on him, very kind;<br /> - May be 'twill wake him; ah, one other ray<br /> - Will do the trick; but, I say, look this way,<br /> - This jug, with water fill'd, so cold, so big,<br /> - I wish we dared to give him a cold pig.[<a id="chap03fn2text"></a><a href="#chap03fn2">2</a>]<br /> - But sheriffs stand not gammon, in a crack<br /> - I'd have his rapier walking[<a id="chap03fn3text"></a><a href="#chap03fn3">3</a>] through my back;<br /> - Good! he awakes, without our intervention,<br /> - (This, though no consequence, I wish to mention,)<br /> - And having rubb'd his eyes, and clear'd his throat,<br /> - Apostrophizes thus his Sheriff's coat:—<br /> - "O thou bless'd emblem of my shrievalty,<br /> - Perpetual witness of my dignity;<br /> - In which I've braved the concentrated gaze<br /> - Of wondering myriads, for the last few days;<br /> - How can I thanks sufficiently express<br /> - For thy assistance, for I here confess<br /> - How much I owe[<a id="chap03fn4text"></a><a href="#chap03fn4">4</a>] thee, when I lay thee by;<br /> - Thou at Cane End in lavender shalt lie,<br /> - Snug in a chest, secure from curious eye,<br /> - Save mine; and I whene'er the lid I raise,<br /> - Will laud thy virtues, and renew thy praise.<br /> - Now, on my pony, straightway I'll depart,<br /> - Lighter in pocket, lighter far in heart,<br /> - Back to Cane End; I fear my anxious mother<br /> - In rapturous joy her boy will almost smother;<br /> - But this I'll risk, and should the Fates prove kind,<br /> - Should they restore my long lost peace of mind,<br /> - In slumbers light I'll close my wearied eyes,<br /> - And doze in quiet till the next Assize."<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /></p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap03fn1"></a> -[<a href="#chap03fn1text">1</a>] The name of Weippert recalls the memory of many happy -balls in Upper Harley Street, where Weippert always conducted -in person. The memory of the host lives in the author's mind. -The hostess still lives, and long may she live. (September 16, -1868.) -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -The author is happy to say that Assize Balls are now "gone -out;" when he wrote this opusculum they did exist. (September -16, 1868.) -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap03fn2"></a> -[<a href="#chap03fn2text">2</a>] Should any fair reader be at a loss for the meaning of this -expression, ask any school-boy brother, if you have one, for a -practical illustration thereof, and mark the result. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap03fn3"></a> -[<a href="#chap03fn3text">3</a>] The author remembers that "being pretty considerably walked -into at Collections," was a favourite phrase with undergraduates. -Hence he thus ventures to describe the undesirable transit of the -sheriff's toasting fork through his body. -</p> - -<p class="footnote"> -<a id="chap03fn4"></a> -[<a href="#chap03fn4text">4</a>] From this sentiment of the Sheriff he seems to differ from -William of Wykeham, who, if the plates at New College high table -are to be relied upon, held that "manners makyth man." The -Sheriff, on the contrary, would seem to hold that "the coat makes -the sheriff." -</p> - -<p><br /><br /></p> - -<p class="t4"> - PRINTED BY WHITINGHAM AND WILKINS,<br /> - TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE.<br /> -</p> - -<p><br /><br /><br /><br /></p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Lay of the Sheriff, by Philip Lybbe Powys Lybbe - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LAY OF THE SHERIFF *** - -***** This file should be named 61121-h.htm or 61121-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/1/1/2/61121/ - -Produced by Al Haines -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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