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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..456e82b --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60799 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60799) diff --git a/old/60799-h.zip b/old/60799-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 4094c06..0000000 --- a/old/60799-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60799-h/60799-h.htm b/old/60799-h/60799-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 91852ee..0000000 --- a/old/60799-h/60799-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1235 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of Ignatz, by Ron Goulart. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ignatz, by Ron Goulart - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Ignatz - -Author: Ron Goulart - -Release Date: November 27, 2019 [EBook #60799] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IGNATZ *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="340" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>ignatz</h1> - -<h2>By RON GOULART</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>Cats! He couldn't stand the<br /> -things—even when they had<br /> -once been his best friends!</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Glenn Wheelan stepped back out of the way as the water came hissing -up across the quiet night beach. He rolled his pants cuffs a turn -higher and looked back at Karen Wylie. "And the whole thing is worse. -Teachers, you know, look forward to vacations as much as kids. More. -But I was almost afraid to come back here."</p> - -<p>Karen's cigarette glowed red in the darkness. "But San Miguel is much -brighter and cleaner. They even have a theater that shows nothing but -foreign movies. And three laundromats. Now the place is building up, -Glenn."</p> - -<p>"Because of a bunch of oddballs who're tired of all the lunatic outfits -in Los Angeles." Wheelan moved to the girl's side. "Why, even in -Pasadena people talk about San Miguel."</p> - -<p>Karen caught his hand and led him up the beach away from the water. -"Well, every town is noted for something. Like one's the lettuce -capital and another's the wine center. It certainly doesn't hurt San -Miguel to be known."</p> - -<p>Wheelan turned from the glare that the city's lights made against the -faintly overcast sky. "Ever since I was a kid I've hated cats. They -make me feel crawly all over. Like persimmons do."</p> - -<p>"Persimmons don't do any such thing," Karen said, tossing her cigarette -at the foam below.</p> - -<p>"So I come back to my old home town. Unpack my bags and walk into my -aunt's homey kitchen, and she springs it on me."</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"She's one of them now, too. It's not bad enough a bunch of retired -dentists from Omaha go along with Balderstone. My aunt now! I'll have a -hell of a time forcing down second helpings. I get this crawly feeling."</p> - -<p>"You're as touchy as Pavlov's dog. Everything makes you crawly."</p> - -<p>"Well, look, Karen. You've been up at Cal most of the year. Doesn't -the place seem odder to you?" Wheelan stepped next to a driftwood log. -"Doesn't it bother you?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Karen sat down on the log and put her elbows on her knees. "I told you, -Glenn. San Miguel looks newer and cleaner. Why, even the slums look -better. I think they've painted them."</p> - -<p>"The only time we ever had a cat, when I was eleven, it made me sneeze. -My aunt made me give it away. I wanted to drown it in a gunny sack but -she talked me out of it."</p> - -<p>"Oh, you couldn't have. You're too tender and kindly." She held her -hand out and motioned him down beside her.</p> - -<p>Wheelan sat, feeling the sand seep in over the sides of his loafers. -"Maybe I'll talk to Neff. There should be a law against this kind of -thing."</p> - -<p>"Chief Neff? I doubt if he'll do anything."</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"Because he's so active on our Civic Public Relations Committee. And he -owns a couple of motels."</p> - -<p>Wheelan absently put his hand on Karen's shoulder. "Now, somebody must -be against this. Maybe Dr. Watchers. He was even against free paper -towels in the public johns."</p> - -<p>"He passed away," Karen said, moving Wheelan's arm around her with her -shoulders.</p> - -<p>"I could write to the governor," Wheelan said, noticing Karen's soft -dark hair fluttering faintly over the tip of his nose. "There must be a -law against lycanthropy."</p> - -<p>Karen shook her head. "No. They checked on it. There is in one of the -New England states. The dunking stool is the penalty, I think."</p> - -<p>"Why?" he said in a loud voice.</p> - -<p>"Why dunking?"</p> - -<p>"No," Wheelan said, blowing her hair out of his face. "Why do people -want to turn into cats anyway? My God, it must feel crawly."</p> - -<p>"Well, you know what Mr. Balderstone says."</p> - -<p>"He's a quack."</p> - -<p>"Perhaps. But nevertheless he perfected a method for turning people -into cats and back. And that's more than a lot of people have done. He -can't be all quack." Karen relaxed and snuggled back against Wheelan.</p> - -<p>"Who the hell else would want to discover something like that? You -might just as well invent an economical method of canning persimmons." -Wheelan shuddered. "Cats."</p> - -<p>Karen closed her eyes. "Anyway, he says it's a great tension-reliever. -People get out of themselves. Forget their troubles. Aggressions. -That's very important in times like these when everyone is worrying -about blowing up unexpectedly."</p> - -<p>Wheelan tightened his arm around her. "Damn. When I think of all those -people going out to the old fairgrounds and turning into cats and -yowling around it...."</p> - -<p>"Makes you crawly?"</p> - -<p>Wheelan turned her head up and kissed her.</p> - -<p>Karen's tongue shot under his and back and she pulled away. "You take -everything too seriously. Mr. Balderstone has a way of helping people -relax. So what? What's that Latin thing about disputandum and all?"</p> - -<p>"Yeah, but a whole town. My town and yours! And it's given over to -turning people into cats."</p> - -<p>"My town and yours! You sound like Chief Neff." She kissed him on the -cheek. "Hey. Last summer we didn't spend all this time debating."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Wheelan smiled quickly. "I'm maturing. Once you pass twenty-six you get -wisdom. You'll see."</p> - -<p>"I say if they want to be cats let them. It's very good therapy. And -Lord knows we need it."</p> - -<p>"It's not right."</p> - -<p>Karen sighed. "What was that comic strip when we were kids, about the -cat and the mouse? Cicero's Cat?"</p> - -<p>"Krazy Kat?"</p> - -<p>She nodded. "You're like that mouse. Always have to go around throwing -bricks at the cats. And it always got him in trouble. Ignatz. That was -his name, Ignatz Mouse. That's who you are."</p> - -<p>"Very profound insight." Wheelan ran his hand down her back, touching -each of the white buttons on her sweater. "I'm still going to do -something about it."</p> - -<p>Though she was facing away Wheelan could feel her smile. "Glenn?" she -said.</p> - -<p>He undid the first small button. "Yeah?"</p> - -<p>"I went out there last week. And it is quite relaxing. I've felt much -happier this week."</p> - -<p>Wheelan got to the second button before he realized what she had said. -"Karen, you're kidding!"</p> - -<p>"No. So you see, it's nothing so terrible."</p> - -<p>Wheelan stood up. "Damn it. Damn it!"</p> - -<p>Karen rose, reaching behind her to rebutton her sweater. "You're being -pretty intolerant."</p> - -<p>"Damn it, the whole town!" He backed away, his feet sinking deep in the -cold sand.</p> - -<p>Karen shrugged. "Don't take it so big." She looked up at him hopefully. -"Well, you'll at least drive me home?"</p> - -<p>Belatedly, Wheelan said, "Sure. Come on." Near his car he said quietly, -"Now I'm really going to get them."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It wasn't until the next Wednesday that Wheelan had his leaflets ready -to hand out. The local printers had, one way and another, refused the -job. He'd had to have them done in Santa Monica.</p> - -<p>The two cub scouts he'd hired to help him had both come down with -something late Tuesday. Wheelan stationed himself on Chambers Drive -near the two largest tourist motels early on the clear June morning.</p> - -<p>He had handed out five of his anti-lycanthropy leaflets when Chief -Harold Neff drove up on his official motorcycle. Wheelan spotted him a -block away by his gold-painted crash helmet. It was the only one on the -force.</p> - -<p>"Hi, there, Glenn," said Neff, after he'd parked the cycle in a red -zone. "What are you up to?"</p> - -<p>Wheelan frowned at the chief's broad, tanned face. "I'm agitating, Hal."</p> - -<p>Neff rubbed his jaw. "Without a permit, though?"</p> - -<p>"As a matter of fact, yes."</p> - -<p>The chief nodded. "You'll have to stop. You can't hand out those things -without a permit."</p> - -<p>Wheelan tucked his box of leaflets up under his arm. "Who do I see -about a permit?"</p> - -<p>"Me, Glenn." Chief Neff flipped off his helmet and stroked his crewcut, -looking down the street. "Let's go down to the Blue Oasis and have a -beer and talk."</p> - -<p>"Can you drink while on duty?"</p> - -<p>"Beer." He took Wheelan's arm.</p> - -<p>"What about your motorcycle?"</p> - -<p>"Won't come to any harm."</p> - -<p>In one of the Blue Oasis's dark leather booths Neff said, "Don't you -like the way the old town's blossoming, Glenn?"</p> - -<p>"Cats make me feel crawly," Wheelan said, pushing his schooner back and -forth in front of him.</p> - -<p>"Why, even the slums are a sight to see. And San Miguel's getting to be -a well-liked spot. Like Capistrano and Disneyland. Being well-liked is -good for a town's civic pride." The chief grinned at Wheelan.</p> - -<p>"I think there's something basically wrong with people turning into -cats." Wheelan made up his mind not to drink the beer.</p> - -<p>"There might be something wrong in it if people did it out of spite or -for mischief, Glenn. But I think most competent authorities will agree -that Mr. Balderstone's method has a real, honest-to-gosh therapeutic -value." He looked straight at Wheelan. "There's a lot of nervous -tension these days, Glenn. Even teaching in Pasadena you must have seen -that."</p> - -<p>"Well, Hal, I'll admit that. I just don't think Balderstone's approach -is any solution."</p> - -<p>Neff laughed. "There's not really much solution to anything." He leaned -back into the shadows in the booth corner. "You're as interested in our -town as anybody, aren't you, Glenn? Growing up here, playing in the -Little League, attending Grover Cleveland High."</p> - -<p>"Sure. That's why I hate to see it taken over by some crackpot cult."</p> - -<p>"You're entitled to your opinions. Just don't hand them out in the form -of leaflets."</p> - -<p>"About that permit?"</p> - -<p>"Well, Glenn, you know how tangled in red tape any government gets. -It'll take time. Even with me putting the spurs to everybody. Uh, -you're leaving the first part of September?"</p> - -<p>"Yeah, when school opens." Wheelan pushed his glass away and slid out -of the booth. "It'll take until early September to get the permit, huh?"</p> - -<p>"No. With me seeing to it you should have it by the end of August." He -stood and shook hands. Something about shaking hands with Chief Neff -unsettled Wheelan. Trying not to show it, he walked with Neff out into -the light.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Wheelan was squatting, studying the bottom shelves of his aunt's -refrigerator. He looked into an opened tin of smoked oysters, then -decided against making a sandwich. He opened a can of beer and sat down -at the white-topped table. This was the night his aunt went out to -Balderstone's. Wheelan shivered. They even had special buses running -out there.</p> - -<p>The doorbell rang, or rather chimed a tune that had been a favorite of -his aunt's during prohibition. Karen Wylie was standing on the front -porch in a big tan coat. "Hi," she said. "Busy?"</p> - -<p>"Pretty much."</p> - -<p>She glanced at his hand. "Can I have a beer?"</p> - -<p>Wheelan moved back so she could enter.</p> - -<p>After he'd taken her coat and brought her a beer Karen said, "What are -you up to now?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I sent letters to both our local papers, but they haven't been -printed. I suppose you know about my trying to hand out leaflets last -week. Then I tried to rent a soundtruck, but Neff says I need a permit -for that, too." He sat down on his aunt's chintz-covered sofa. "Now I'm -doing a mail campaign."</p> - -<p>"Why don't you give up?" Karen watched him with an anxious expression. -"What good are you doing?"</p> - -<p>"I think that every citizen has a right to act as he chooses. I mean, -when an evil exists it's the individual's right to try to combat it."</p> - -<p>"With leaflets?"</p> - -<p>"In any way he can," Wheelan said.</p> - -<p>She smiled. "You just look silly. And you'll annoy people. Really, -Glenn, what's wrong with all this? You're just judging others by your -own standards. All this talk about good and evil."</p> - -<p>"I don't think people should turn into cats. If they have to, I -don't think our town should encourage them." He clenched his fists. -"Why, they've got signs on the road now, telling how far it is to -Balderstone's temple, or whatever he calls it."</p> - -<p>"There's certainly nothing unethical in advertising, Glenn. You're not -that narrow-minded."</p> - -<p>Wheelan finished his beer and bent the can in half. He was angry enough -to do it with one hand. "Let's forget it. How've you been?"</p> - -<p>"Wonderful." She touched one hand to her temple. "Very relaxed."</p> - -<p>"Which is your night in the temple?"</p> - -<p>Karen frowned. "Oh, I've only dropped out a couple of times."</p> - -<p>Rubbing his hands slowly together, Wheelan said, "I'm trying to start -an anti-cat league, Karen. Would you join?"</p> - -<p>Karen laughed and stood up. "How many members have you got?"</p> - -<p>"I just started mailing yesterday."</p> - -<p>"But so far?"</p> - -<p>"None." He picked Karen's coat off the chair he draped it on. "Thanks -for dropping in."</p> - -<p>Getting into her coat Karen said, "Take it easy, Glenn, will you?"</p> - -<p>"I have to do what I think is right."</p> - -<p>Karen was smiling as he held the door open for her.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was a foggy night, two nights after Wheelan had picketed the -fairgrounds and been run off by Chief Neff. Wheelan had decided to walk -down toward the beach after dinner. His aunt wasn't speaking to him. -Nor was she cooking for him. He got a hamburger at a drive-in across -the road from the long narrow San Miguel beach; then wandered through -the fog toward the last sidewalk before the sand.</p> - -<p>He heard a car slow behind him, then saw the nose of a Ford convertible -slide out of the thickening mist. Eventually he saw Karen, her dark -hair in a thin scarf, smiling at him from behind the wheel. "You mad?" -she called.</p> - -<p>Wheelan finished the hamburger and wiped his hands on his pocket -handkerchief. "More or less."</p> - -<p>"Want to come along for a drive?"</p> - -<p>He came up to the passenger side of the front seat. "Why don't you put -the top down?"</p> - -<p>"I like the way the fog feels. Come on." She stretched across the front -seat and opened the door.</p> - -<p>"Someplace in particular?" He caught the door as it swung out.</p> - -<p>"Well, yes. Somebody wants to see you."</p> - -<p>"Oh?" He got in. "You playing messenger now?"</p> - -<p>"Don't be nasty. This is for your own good, or I wouldn't be doing it."</p> - -<p>"Okay. I take your word for it." Wheelan stretched his legs out as far -as they would go and folded his arms.</p> - -<p>Karen made a U-turn on the smooth street and drove carefully back -through the town.</p> - -<p>Near the fairgrounds Wheelan asked, "You taking me to the meeting with -you?"</p> - -<p>Karen shook her head, turning the car sharply up a steep, tree-lined -street. They stopped in front of a ranch-style bungalow. "Here we are," -she said, getting out of the car.</p> - -<p>Wheelan followed her up a brick path, his hands in his pockets. The fog -was tightening in around them.</p> - -<p>A short man with a high, lined forehead and cropped gray hair opened -the door of the bungalow. "Evening, Karen," he said, smiling.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Balderstone, Mr. Wheelan," Karen said.</p> - -<p>Wheelan nodded and came into the house after her.</p> - -<p>Balderstone stopped in front of a deep fireplace. "Thought we ought to -have a chat."</p> - -<p>"I hear you mentioned me in your service the night I picketed your -place," Wheelan said.</p> - -<p>"Explained to newcomers that you were the town eccentric." -Balderstone's heavy gray eyebrows slanted toward each other. "People -come to my lectures—don't call them services—to unbend. To relax. -Don't like to have somebody shouting at them through a megaphone and -waving signs, Wheelan." He crossed the room. "Drink?"</p> - -<p>Wheelan shook his head, glancing at Karen.</p> - -<p>She had sat in a straight back chair and folded her hands. "Scotch and -soda," she said to Balderstone.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>After he made the drinks Balderstone said, "Some consider me a -benefactor, Wheelan. I have invented a somewhat unique thing. Applied -lycanthropy—though most people think of that as involving only -wolves." He gestured, and ice rattled in his glass. "Cats have a much -higher therapeutic value. It's essential, Wheelan, for people to get -out of themselves now and then. To find relief from tension so that -their lives may be more rewarding and satisfying." He moved closer to -Wheelan, who was still standing near the door. "These are troubled -times, Wheelan."</p> - -<p>"I've told him that myself," Karen said, trying her Scotch.</p> - -<p>"The results of applied lycanthropy have been most positive. Not only -have people been helped, but San Miguel has been helped. Don't think -other cities wouldn't jump at the chance to have me locate there." He -cleared his throat. "As a matter of fact, we're considering opening -branches. It's my intention to help the entire world."</p> - -<p>"And it's my intention to run you out of town," Wheelan said.</p> - -<p>Balderstone laughed and shook his head. "Miss Wylie tells me you're -a decent fellow, basically, as are so many before the pressures of -everyday life remold them. At any rate, I simply want to point out that -many of us are annoyed by you. I don't think you want that."</p> - -<p>"Yes, I do. I'm out to get you."</p> - -<p>"You're getting on my nerves." Balderstone scratched his nose. -"Leaflets, pamphlets, letters. Demonstrations. And now I get word that -you've been going around to pet shops and florists trying to buy large -quantities of catnip."</p> - -<p>"Nobody has any."</p> - -<p>"Of course not. And I also find that yesterday you visited the humane -society in Santa Monica and tried to buy several big dogs. The trouble -with you, Wheelan, you've got no civic pride."</p> - -<p>Wheelan smiled. "I'm as proud of San Miguel as anybody."</p> - -<p>"And further, Wheelan, you can't stand to see people have a good time. -And even worse, you're against scientific progress. I'm sure that had -you lived in Austria at the end of the last century you would have -sent Sigmund Freud crank letters."</p> - -<p>"He wasn't a quack."</p> - -<p>"You annoy me more up close than at a distance."</p> - -<p>The two of them were drifting closer to each other.</p> - -<p>Karen jumped up. "Mr. Balderstone, perhaps if Glenn attended one of -your lectures he wouldn't be so prejudiced."</p> - -<p>"I don't want him sulking around my talks."</p> - -<p>"But it might convince him."</p> - -<p>Balderstone squinted one eye. "Hmm. Perhaps."</p> - -<p>Wheelan shook his head. "I wouldn't go near one."</p> - -<p>"Oh, that's right, Mr. Balderstone. Cats make him feel crawly."</p> - -<p>Balderstone stroked his chin. "You're in need of help yourself, -Wheelan."</p> - -<p>"Couldn't he stand backstage?" Karen came and took Wheelan's arm. "I'll -stay with you, Glenn."</p> - -<p>"He'd heckle," said Balderstone, checking his watch. "But if you're -willing to vouch for him—"</p> - -<p>"I'm not going near that place," Wheelan said, "unless it's to burn it -down."</p> - -<p>Balderstone tightened his tie and studied Wheelan's face. "Destroy city -property? Fine citizen you are."</p> - -<p>Karen tightened her grip on Wheelan's arm. "Come, Glenn. I know you'll -think differently when you see the fine work Mr. Balderstone is doing."</p> - -<p>Balderstone was half in a closet, selecting an expensive-looking coat.</p> - -<p>Wheelan said quietly to Karen, "You're not going to...?"</p> - -<p>"Change? Not tonight. Please come. I want you to be convinced."</p> - -<p>Wheelan was aware that wouldn't happen, but he was curious. "All right."</p> - -<p>Everyone was smiling when they started for the fairgrounds.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Balderstone's platform was set up at the edge of the field where -tents were once pitched. Just to the left of the platform was the old -merry-go-round that had become city property after the last carnival -had gone broke. Balderstone's narrow stage was backed by canvas flats, -and Wheelan and Karen stood behind one of these on some machinery -crates, watching the audience through a peephole in the canvas.</p> - -<p>"This isn't my idea of backstage," Wheelan said, taking his eye from -the hole so Karen could peek.</p> - -<p>"All of Mr. Balderstone's money goes into improving his process. And -things like that."</p> - -<p>The night was getting colder and high mist hung over the fairgrounds. -Only half of the bench seats were filled, meaning probably about three -hundred in attendance.</p> - -<p>When Wheelan looked out again the lights around the field had dimmed -and the two young men with blond curly hair and double-breasted suits -had stopped taking donations at the entrance arch. Balderstone left the -folding chair he'd been sitting in and walked slowly across the stage -planks to the mike.</p> - -<p>"Nothing like a touch of cold to keep people home at nights," he said, -acknowledging with a grin the laughter that followed. He smoothed the -front of his coat and took a small blue leaflet out of his pocket. -"Think you'll find copies of this tacked to your seats. If you're a -regular you know the system. If not, best leaf through it."</p> - -<p>About a third of the heads ducked to look for the leaflet. Balderstone -pinched his nose and briefly glanced at the peephole.</p> - -<p>Karen slipped a leaflet into Wheelan's hand. He tossed it aside. "You -want to look again?"</p> - -<p>"No, I know the procedure. You keep watching. You're the one we want to -convince."</p> - -<p>She squeezed his arm gently.</p> - -<p>"Lots of worry these days," Balderstone said. "People don't know where -their next worry's coming from."</p> - -<p>Most of the heads, except the ones that were still bent over the -leaflet, nodded in agreement.</p> - -<p>"Lots of problems people just can't solve. But they still want to give -it a try." Balderstone's voice grew louder. "One more chance at bat. -That's not the way. Worrying about problems causes fretting. Fretting -produces tension. Tense people aren't happy people." Balderstone's -hands came up in front of his chest, gradually clenching. "If you can't -change the world, I'm informing you, you can change yourself. At least -for awhile. That's important. That's what is called escape. It's good -for you. Applied lycanthropy."</p> - -<p>The lights had been dimming all through his last sentences. A few yards -from the merry-go-round the blond young men had a bonfire going.</p> - -<p>"We're going to lose all those worries. We're not going to fret. Not -now, not for awhile." Balderstone's voice seemed to have taken on some -of the crackle of the fire. "Every one of you should have a capsule. -Now, who doesn't?"</p> - -<p>A dozen hands went up and one of the young men ran through the crowd, -giving out capsules from an orange cardboard box.</p> - -<p>Balderstone had stepped out of Wheelan's range, but he reappeared -wheeling something that looked like a giant sunlamp. It was half again -as tall as he was.</p> - -<p>"He's got enough quack equipment," Wheelan said.</p> - -<p>"Be still," Karen said, her hold tight now on his arm.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"We're going to change," shouted Balderstone, not using the microphone. -"When I say 'swallow' I want you all to swallow those capsules. Then -you better get out of your clothes quick! Because when I turn on my -applied lycanthropy beam things are going to start happening." He had -reached the platform edge and was crouched there, teetering. "Now! One, -two, three. Swallow!"</p> - -<p>Balderstone dived for the beam and clicked it on. Ties and hats shot up -into the air. Coat sleeves flapped, became entangled with print dresses -and lace slips.</p> - -<p>"Looks like Annapolis on graduation day," Wheelan said softly, starting -to feel uneasy.</p> - -<p>The beam was played over the audience, slowly from left to right. All -the lights were out and there was only the dim orange flicker of the -bonfire. "Relax, relax," Balderstone shouted. "Change!" He dropped and -sat on the stage edge.</p> - -<p>There was a sputtering howl near the entrance and a large black cat -leaped up, clawing at the air, twisting and falling back.</p> - -<p>Wheelan couldn't breathe, couldn't tell Karen to stop her fingernails -from digging into his skin.</p> - -<p>Great yowling cats were popping up across the field, faster and faster. -Wheelan noticed his dentist still hadn't gotten his striped shorts off. -Then he jerked back against Karen and they both tumbled off the crates. -"Run," he said.</p> - -<p>Karen twisted up and caught him. "No, Glenn. Wait. Till they change -back. You'll see how happy and calm they all are. You'll be convinced."</p> - -<p>"Cats," he said, pulling away. "Run!"</p> - -<p>He ran; jumped the fence beyond the rodeo area and stumbled away into -the brush. He got home in under an hour. It was mostly downhill.</p> - -<p>Two nights later Wheelan set fire to Balderstone's bungalow while he -was away at the lecture. The fire department put out the fire before -more than half of the house was gone.</p> - -<p>Early on the following morning he rented an airplane and had his -remaining leaflets dropped over San Miguel.</p> - -<p>Wheelan had decided that if he couldn't do anything positive he was -still going to annoy Balderstone and anybody else who was on his side.</p> - -<p>No one mentioned his harrassing actions to him, not even Chief Neff. -Wheelan's aunt did indicate that she would never cook another meal or -wash another pajama top for him. He moved to a run-down motel near the -ocean.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He had been there nearly three days when, just after sundown, someone -knocked on his door. It was Karen, wearing a light cotton dress, her -hair pulled back. "Are you comfortable, Glenn?"</p> - -<p>He smiled, "Yeah. I like this business now. I've been thinking up new -activities."</p> - -<p>Karen frowned around the room. "Like to come out for a walk?"</p> - -<p>"Where?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, along the beach. You can't spend all your life in a damp motel -room."</p> - -<p>"It's not damp. That's the fresh sea air you feel." He picked a -windbreaker off the bed and nodded at the door. "So, let's walk." The -night was warm, but heavy with fog. "Sorry I left you up there the -other night, Karen. But you know...."</p> - -<p>"Yes. I know. Cats make you crawly." She took his hand when they -reached the sidewalk and pulled him after her in the direction of the -beach. "Have you really been doing all those annoying things, Glenn?"</p> - -<p>"Who else? You think I've gotten any recruits?" The street was quiet. -They left the last sidewalk and walked down through scrubby brush to -the beach. The water looked blurred as it touched the misty shore. -"Just me."</p> - -<p>Karen shivered and stepped away from Wheelan. "You've just made an -awful nuisance of yourself, Glenn. I've always been very fond of you, -as I'm sure you know. But—I'm very sorry."</p> - -<p>She darted in suddenly and pushed hard.</p> - -<p>The surprise and the clump of brush behind him sent Wheelan over into -the sand. When he got to his knees and looked around he caught a brief -flicker of Karen's skirt in the fog. Then she was lost. He stood. He -tried to brush himself off, but his hands had started to shake. And he -was beginning to feel odd in the stomach.</p> - -<p>Wind came in then across the water and scattered some of the mist. He -saw the cats.</p> - -<p>Dozens of them, crouched twenty yards away. Their tails were switching -and Wheelan became aware of a puzzling, whirring sound.</p> - -<p>Purring.</p> - -<p>In another gust more mist scattered, and Wheelan realized that he was -cut off from the town by a half circle of hundreds of cats. And they -were contentedly edging down across the sand toward him.</p> - -<p>Hundreds of damned cats! They made Wheelan feel so crawly he couldn't -move. But if he didn't move soon the first of the cats would touch him. -That thought made him jump back. The cats moved up.</p> - -<p>The sand was sucking at his shoes; he could feel the chill of the -ocean on the back of his neck. Maybe if he ran straight at them they'd -scatter. But he couldn't do that. They knew that, too. The cats eased a -little nearer.</p> - -<p>Wheelan bent and grabbed off his shoes, then his socks. He backed into -the cold, wet sand near the water. He got out of his clothes—all -except his shorts; he'd have to come ashore someplace. The cats were -close now. For a moment Wheelan thought he wouldn't be able to move, -but finally he was able to grin and thumb his nose.</p> - -<p>Then he ran quickly out into the water.</p> - -<p>It was dark and cold, but he was a fair swimmer. He could make it down -the coast a quarter mile or so. Far enough. As he swam, Wheelan made up -his mind he'd never come back to his home town again.</p> - -<p>Not even for Christmas.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ignatz, by Ron Goulart - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IGNATZ *** - -***** This file should be named 60799-h.htm or 60799-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/7/9/60799/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Ignatz - -Author: Ron Goulart - -Release Date: November 27, 2019 [EBook #60799] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IGNATZ *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - ignatz - - By RON GOULART - - _Cats! He couldn't stand the - things--even when they had - once been his best friends!_ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -Glenn Wheelan stepped back out of the way as the water came hissing -up across the quiet night beach. He rolled his pants cuffs a turn -higher and looked back at Karen Wylie. "And the whole thing is worse. -Teachers, you know, look forward to vacations as much as kids. More. -But I was almost afraid to come back here." - -Karen's cigarette glowed red in the darkness. "But San Miguel is much -brighter and cleaner. They even have a theater that shows nothing but -foreign movies. And three laundromats. Now the place is building up, -Glenn." - -"Because of a bunch of oddballs who're tired of all the lunatic outfits -in Los Angeles." Wheelan moved to the girl's side. "Why, even in -Pasadena people talk about San Miguel." - -Karen caught his hand and led him up the beach away from the water. -"Well, every town is noted for something. Like one's the lettuce -capital and another's the wine center. It certainly doesn't hurt San -Miguel to be known." - -Wheelan turned from the glare that the city's lights made against the -faintly overcast sky. "Ever since I was a kid I've hated cats. They -make me feel crawly all over. Like persimmons do." - -"Persimmons don't do any such thing," Karen said, tossing her cigarette -at the foam below. - -"So I come back to my old home town. Unpack my bags and walk into my -aunt's homey kitchen, and she springs it on me." - -"What?" - -"She's one of them now, too. It's not bad enough a bunch of retired -dentists from Omaha go along with Balderstone. My aunt now! I'll have a -hell of a time forcing down second helpings. I get this crawly feeling." - -"You're as touchy as Pavlov's dog. Everything makes you crawly." - -"Well, look, Karen. You've been up at Cal most of the year. Doesn't -the place seem odder to you?" Wheelan stepped next to a driftwood log. -"Doesn't it bother you?" - - * * * * * - -Karen sat down on the log and put her elbows on her knees. "I told you, -Glenn. San Miguel looks newer and cleaner. Why, even the slums look -better. I think they've painted them." - -"The only time we ever had a cat, when I was eleven, it made me sneeze. -My aunt made me give it away. I wanted to drown it in a gunny sack but -she talked me out of it." - -"Oh, you couldn't have. You're too tender and kindly." She held her -hand out and motioned him down beside her. - -Wheelan sat, feeling the sand seep in over the sides of his loafers. -"Maybe I'll talk to Neff. There should be a law against this kind of -thing." - -"Chief Neff? I doubt if he'll do anything." - -"Why?" - -"Because he's so active on our Civic Public Relations Committee. And he -owns a couple of motels." - -Wheelan absently put his hand on Karen's shoulder. "Now, somebody must -be against this. Maybe Dr. Watchers. He was even against free paper -towels in the public johns." - -"He passed away," Karen said, moving Wheelan's arm around her with her -shoulders. - -"I could write to the governor," Wheelan said, noticing Karen's soft -dark hair fluttering faintly over the tip of his nose. "There must be a -law against lycanthropy." - -Karen shook her head. "No. They checked on it. There is in one of the -New England states. The dunking stool is the penalty, I think." - -"Why?" he said in a loud voice. - -"Why dunking?" - -"No," Wheelan said, blowing her hair out of his face. "Why do people -want to turn into cats anyway? My God, it must feel crawly." - -"Well, you know what Mr. Balderstone says." - -"He's a quack." - -"Perhaps. But nevertheless he perfected a method for turning people -into cats and back. And that's more than a lot of people have done. He -can't be all quack." Karen relaxed and snuggled back against Wheelan. - -"Who the hell else would want to discover something like that? You -might just as well invent an economical method of canning persimmons." -Wheelan shuddered. "Cats." - -Karen closed her eyes. "Anyway, he says it's a great tension-reliever. -People get out of themselves. Forget their troubles. Aggressions. -That's very important in times like these when everyone is worrying -about blowing up unexpectedly." - -Wheelan tightened his arm around her. "Damn. When I think of all those -people going out to the old fairgrounds and turning into cats and -yowling around it...." - -"Makes you crawly?" - -Wheelan turned her head up and kissed her. - -Karen's tongue shot under his and back and she pulled away. "You take -everything too seriously. Mr. Balderstone has a way of helping people -relax. So what? What's that Latin thing about disputandum and all?" - -"Yeah, but a whole town. My town and yours! And it's given over to -turning people into cats." - -"My town and yours! You sound like Chief Neff." She kissed him on the -cheek. "Hey. Last summer we didn't spend all this time debating." - - * * * * * - -Wheelan smiled quickly. "I'm maturing. Once you pass twenty-six you get -wisdom. You'll see." - -"I say if they want to be cats let them. It's very good therapy. And -Lord knows we need it." - -"It's not right." - -Karen sighed. "What was that comic strip when we were kids, about the -cat and the mouse? Cicero's Cat?" - -"Krazy Kat?" - -She nodded. "You're like that mouse. Always have to go around throwing -bricks at the cats. And it always got him in trouble. Ignatz. That was -his name, Ignatz Mouse. That's who you are." - -"Very profound insight." Wheelan ran his hand down her back, touching -each of the white buttons on her sweater. "I'm still going to do -something about it." - -Though she was facing away Wheelan could feel her smile. "Glenn?" she -said. - -He undid the first small button. "Yeah?" - -"I went out there last week. And it is quite relaxing. I've felt much -happier this week." - -Wheelan got to the second button before he realized what she had said. -"Karen, you're kidding!" - -"No. So you see, it's nothing so terrible." - -Wheelan stood up. "Damn it. Damn it!" - -Karen rose, reaching behind her to rebutton her sweater. "You're being -pretty intolerant." - -"Damn it, the whole town!" He backed away, his feet sinking deep in the -cold sand. - -Karen shrugged. "Don't take it so big." She looked up at him hopefully. -"Well, you'll at least drive me home?" - -Belatedly, Wheelan said, "Sure. Come on." Near his car he said quietly, -"Now I'm really going to get them." - - * * * * * - -It wasn't until the next Wednesday that Wheelan had his leaflets ready -to hand out. The local printers had, one way and another, refused the -job. He'd had to have them done in Santa Monica. - -The two cub scouts he'd hired to help him had both come down with -something late Tuesday. Wheelan stationed himself on Chambers Drive -near the two largest tourist motels early on the clear June morning. - -He had handed out five of his anti-lycanthropy leaflets when Chief -Harold Neff drove up on his official motorcycle. Wheelan spotted him a -block away by his gold-painted crash helmet. It was the only one on the -force. - -"Hi, there, Glenn," said Neff, after he'd parked the cycle in a red -zone. "What are you up to?" - -Wheelan frowned at the chief's broad, tanned face. "I'm agitating, Hal." - -Neff rubbed his jaw. "Without a permit, though?" - -"As a matter of fact, yes." - -The chief nodded. "You'll have to stop. You can't hand out those things -without a permit." - -Wheelan tucked his box of leaflets up under his arm. "Who do I see -about a permit?" - -"Me, Glenn." Chief Neff flipped off his helmet and stroked his crewcut, -looking down the street. "Let's go down to the Blue Oasis and have a -beer and talk." - -"Can you drink while on duty?" - -"Beer." He took Wheelan's arm. - -"What about your motorcycle?" - -"Won't come to any harm." - -In one of the Blue Oasis's dark leather booths Neff said, "Don't you -like the way the old town's blossoming, Glenn?" - -"Cats make me feel crawly," Wheelan said, pushing his schooner back and -forth in front of him. - -"Why, even the slums are a sight to see. And San Miguel's getting to be -a well-liked spot. Like Capistrano and Disneyland. Being well-liked is -good for a town's civic pride." The chief grinned at Wheelan. - -"I think there's something basically wrong with people turning into -cats." Wheelan made up his mind not to drink the beer. - -"There might be something wrong in it if people did it out of spite or -for mischief, Glenn. But I think most competent authorities will agree -that Mr. Balderstone's method has a real, honest-to-gosh therapeutic -value." He looked straight at Wheelan. "There's a lot of nervous -tension these days, Glenn. Even teaching in Pasadena you must have seen -that." - -"Well, Hal, I'll admit that. I just don't think Balderstone's approach -is any solution." - -Neff laughed. "There's not really much solution to anything." He leaned -back into the shadows in the booth corner. "You're as interested in our -town as anybody, aren't you, Glenn? Growing up here, playing in the -Little League, attending Grover Cleveland High." - -"Sure. That's why I hate to see it taken over by some crackpot cult." - -"You're entitled to your opinions. Just don't hand them out in the form -of leaflets." - -"About that permit?" - -"Well, Glenn, you know how tangled in red tape any government gets. -It'll take time. Even with me putting the spurs to everybody. Uh, -you're leaving the first part of September?" - -"Yeah, when school opens." Wheelan pushed his glass away and slid out -of the booth. "It'll take until early September to get the permit, huh?" - -"No. With me seeing to it you should have it by the end of August." He -stood and shook hands. Something about shaking hands with Chief Neff -unsettled Wheelan. Trying not to show it, he walked with Neff out into -the light. - - * * * * * - -Wheelan was squatting, studying the bottom shelves of his aunt's -refrigerator. He looked into an opened tin of smoked oysters, then -decided against making a sandwich. He opened a can of beer and sat down -at the white-topped table. This was the night his aunt went out to -Balderstone's. Wheelan shivered. They even had special buses running -out there. - -The doorbell rang, or rather chimed a tune that had been a favorite of -his aunt's during prohibition. Karen Wylie was standing on the front -porch in a big tan coat. "Hi," she said. "Busy?" - -"Pretty much." - -She glanced at his hand. "Can I have a beer?" - -Wheelan moved back so she could enter. - -After he'd taken her coat and brought her a beer Karen said, "What are -you up to now?" - -"Well, I sent letters to both our local papers, but they haven't been -printed. I suppose you know about my trying to hand out leaflets last -week. Then I tried to rent a soundtruck, but Neff says I need a permit -for that, too." He sat down on his aunt's chintz-covered sofa. "Now I'm -doing a mail campaign." - -"Why don't you give up?" Karen watched him with an anxious expression. -"What good are you doing?" - -"I think that every citizen has a right to act as he chooses. I mean, -when an evil exists it's the individual's right to try to combat it." - -"With leaflets?" - -"In any way he can," Wheelan said. - -She smiled. "You just look silly. And you'll annoy people. Really, -Glenn, what's wrong with all this? You're just judging others by your -own standards. All this talk about good and evil." - -"I don't think people should turn into cats. If they have to, I -don't think our town should encourage them." He clenched his fists. -"Why, they've got signs on the road now, telling how far it is to -Balderstone's temple, or whatever he calls it." - -"There's certainly nothing unethical in advertising, Glenn. You're not -that narrow-minded." - -Wheelan finished his beer and bent the can in half. He was angry enough -to do it with one hand. "Let's forget it. How've you been?" - -"Wonderful." She touched one hand to her temple. "Very relaxed." - -"Which is your night in the temple?" - -Karen frowned. "Oh, I've only dropped out a couple of times." - -Rubbing his hands slowly together, Wheelan said, "I'm trying to start -an anti-cat league, Karen. Would you join?" - -Karen laughed and stood up. "How many members have you got?" - -"I just started mailing yesterday." - -"But so far?" - -"None." He picked Karen's coat off the chair he draped it on. "Thanks -for dropping in." - -Getting into her coat Karen said, "Take it easy, Glenn, will you?" - -"I have to do what I think is right." - -Karen was smiling as he held the door open for her. - - * * * * * - -It was a foggy night, two nights after Wheelan had picketed the -fairgrounds and been run off by Chief Neff. Wheelan had decided to walk -down toward the beach after dinner. His aunt wasn't speaking to him. -Nor was she cooking for him. He got a hamburger at a drive-in across -the road from the long narrow San Miguel beach; then wandered through -the fog toward the last sidewalk before the sand. - -He heard a car slow behind him, then saw the nose of a Ford convertible -slide out of the thickening mist. Eventually he saw Karen, her dark -hair in a thin scarf, smiling at him from behind the wheel. "You mad?" -she called. - -Wheelan finished the hamburger and wiped his hands on his pocket -handkerchief. "More or less." - -"Want to come along for a drive?" - -He came up to the passenger side of the front seat. "Why don't you put -the top down?" - -"I like the way the fog feels. Come on." She stretched across the front -seat and opened the door. - -"Someplace in particular?" He caught the door as it swung out. - -"Well, yes. Somebody wants to see you." - -"Oh?" He got in. "You playing messenger now?" - -"Don't be nasty. This is for your own good, or I wouldn't be doing it." - -"Okay. I take your word for it." Wheelan stretched his legs out as far -as they would go and folded his arms. - -Karen made a U-turn on the smooth street and drove carefully back -through the town. - -Near the fairgrounds Wheelan asked, "You taking me to the meeting with -you?" - -Karen shook her head, turning the car sharply up a steep, tree-lined -street. They stopped in front of a ranch-style bungalow. "Here we are," -she said, getting out of the car. - -Wheelan followed her up a brick path, his hands in his pockets. The fog -was tightening in around them. - -A short man with a high, lined forehead and cropped gray hair opened -the door of the bungalow. "Evening, Karen," he said, smiling. - -"Mr. Balderstone, Mr. Wheelan," Karen said. - -Wheelan nodded and came into the house after her. - -Balderstone stopped in front of a deep fireplace. "Thought we ought to -have a chat." - -"I hear you mentioned me in your service the night I picketed your -place," Wheelan said. - -"Explained to newcomers that you were the town eccentric." -Balderstone's heavy gray eyebrows slanted toward each other. "People -come to my lectures--don't call them services--to unbend. To relax. -Don't like to have somebody shouting at them through a megaphone and -waving signs, Wheelan." He crossed the room. "Drink?" - -Wheelan shook his head, glancing at Karen. - -She had sat in a straight back chair and folded her hands. "Scotch and -soda," she said to Balderstone. - - * * * * * - -After he made the drinks Balderstone said, "Some consider me a -benefactor, Wheelan. I have invented a somewhat unique thing. Applied -lycanthropy--though most people think of that as involving only -wolves." He gestured, and ice rattled in his glass. "Cats have a much -higher therapeutic value. It's essential, Wheelan, for people to get -out of themselves now and then. To find relief from tension so that -their lives may be more rewarding and satisfying." He moved closer to -Wheelan, who was still standing near the door. "These are troubled -times, Wheelan." - -"I've told him that myself," Karen said, trying her Scotch. - -"The results of applied lycanthropy have been most positive. Not only -have people been helped, but San Miguel has been helped. Don't think -other cities wouldn't jump at the chance to have me locate there." He -cleared his throat. "As a matter of fact, we're considering opening -branches. It's my intention to help the entire world." - -"And it's my intention to run you out of town," Wheelan said. - -Balderstone laughed and shook his head. "Miss Wylie tells me you're -a decent fellow, basically, as are so many before the pressures of -everyday life remold them. At any rate, I simply want to point out that -many of us are annoyed by you. I don't think you want that." - -"Yes, I do. I'm out to get you." - -"You're getting on my nerves." Balderstone scratched his nose. -"Leaflets, pamphlets, letters. Demonstrations. And now I get word that -you've been going around to pet shops and florists trying to buy large -quantities of catnip." - -"Nobody has any." - -"Of course not. And I also find that yesterday you visited the humane -society in Santa Monica and tried to buy several big dogs. The trouble -with you, Wheelan, you've got no civic pride." - -Wheelan smiled. "I'm as proud of San Miguel as anybody." - -"And further, Wheelan, you can't stand to see people have a good time. -And even worse, you're against scientific progress. I'm sure that had -you lived in Austria at the end of the last century you would have -sent Sigmund Freud crank letters." - -"He wasn't a quack." - -"You annoy me more up close than at a distance." - -The two of them were drifting closer to each other. - -Karen jumped up. "Mr. Balderstone, perhaps if Glenn attended one of -your lectures he wouldn't be so prejudiced." - -"I don't want him sulking around my talks." - -"But it might convince him." - -Balderstone squinted one eye. "Hmm. Perhaps." - -Wheelan shook his head. "I wouldn't go near one." - -"Oh, that's right, Mr. Balderstone. Cats make him feel crawly." - -Balderstone stroked his chin. "You're in need of help yourself, -Wheelan." - -"Couldn't he stand backstage?" Karen came and took Wheelan's arm. "I'll -stay with you, Glenn." - -"He'd heckle," said Balderstone, checking his watch. "But if you're -willing to vouch for him--" - -"I'm not going near that place," Wheelan said, "unless it's to burn it -down." - -Balderstone tightened his tie and studied Wheelan's face. "Destroy city -property? Fine citizen you are." - -Karen tightened her grip on Wheelan's arm. "Come, Glenn. I know you'll -think differently when you see the fine work Mr. Balderstone is doing." - -Balderstone was half in a closet, selecting an expensive-looking coat. - -Wheelan said quietly to Karen, "You're not going to...?" - -"Change? Not tonight. Please come. I want you to be convinced." - -Wheelan was aware that wouldn't happen, but he was curious. "All right." - -Everyone was smiling when they started for the fairgrounds. - - * * * * * - -Balderstone's platform was set up at the edge of the field where -tents were once pitched. Just to the left of the platform was the old -merry-go-round that had become city property after the last carnival -had gone broke. Balderstone's narrow stage was backed by canvas flats, -and Wheelan and Karen stood behind one of these on some machinery -crates, watching the audience through a peephole in the canvas. - -"This isn't my idea of backstage," Wheelan said, taking his eye from -the hole so Karen could peek. - -"All of Mr. Balderstone's money goes into improving his process. And -things like that." - -The night was getting colder and high mist hung over the fairgrounds. -Only half of the bench seats were filled, meaning probably about three -hundred in attendance. - -When Wheelan looked out again the lights around the field had dimmed -and the two young men with blond curly hair and double-breasted suits -had stopped taking donations at the entrance arch. Balderstone left the -folding chair he'd been sitting in and walked slowly across the stage -planks to the mike. - -"Nothing like a touch of cold to keep people home at nights," he said, -acknowledging with a grin the laughter that followed. He smoothed the -front of his coat and took a small blue leaflet out of his pocket. -"Think you'll find copies of this tacked to your seats. If you're a -regular you know the system. If not, best leaf through it." - -About a third of the heads ducked to look for the leaflet. Balderstone -pinched his nose and briefly glanced at the peephole. - -Karen slipped a leaflet into Wheelan's hand. He tossed it aside. "You -want to look again?" - -"No, I know the procedure. You keep watching. You're the one we want to -convince." - -She squeezed his arm gently. - -"Lots of worry these days," Balderstone said. "People don't know where -their next worry's coming from." - -Most of the heads, except the ones that were still bent over the -leaflet, nodded in agreement. - -"Lots of problems people just can't solve. But they still want to give -it a try." Balderstone's voice grew louder. "One more chance at bat. -That's not the way. Worrying about problems causes fretting. Fretting -produces tension. Tense people aren't happy people." Balderstone's -hands came up in front of his chest, gradually clenching. "If you can't -change the world, I'm informing you, you can change yourself. At least -for awhile. That's important. That's what is called escape. It's good -for you. Applied lycanthropy." - -The lights had been dimming all through his last sentences. A few yards -from the merry-go-round the blond young men had a bonfire going. - -"We're going to lose all those worries. We're not going to fret. Not -now, not for awhile." Balderstone's voice seemed to have taken on some -of the crackle of the fire. "Every one of you should have a capsule. -Now, who doesn't?" - -A dozen hands went up and one of the young men ran through the crowd, -giving out capsules from an orange cardboard box. - -Balderstone had stepped out of Wheelan's range, but he reappeared -wheeling something that looked like a giant sunlamp. It was half again -as tall as he was. - -"He's got enough quack equipment," Wheelan said. - -"Be still," Karen said, her hold tight now on his arm. - - * * * * * - -"We're going to change," shouted Balderstone, not using the microphone. -"When I say 'swallow' I want you all to swallow those capsules. Then -you better get out of your clothes quick! Because when I turn on my -applied lycanthropy beam things are going to start happening." He had -reached the platform edge and was crouched there, teetering. "Now! One, -two, three. Swallow!" - -Balderstone dived for the beam and clicked it on. Ties and hats shot up -into the air. Coat sleeves flapped, became entangled with print dresses -and lace slips. - -"Looks like Annapolis on graduation day," Wheelan said softly, starting -to feel uneasy. - -The beam was played over the audience, slowly from left to right. All -the lights were out and there was only the dim orange flicker of the -bonfire. "Relax, relax," Balderstone shouted. "Change!" He dropped and -sat on the stage edge. - -There was a sputtering howl near the entrance and a large black cat -leaped up, clawing at the air, twisting and falling back. - -Wheelan couldn't breathe, couldn't tell Karen to stop her fingernails -from digging into his skin. - -Great yowling cats were popping up across the field, faster and faster. -Wheelan noticed his dentist still hadn't gotten his striped shorts off. -Then he jerked back against Karen and they both tumbled off the crates. -"Run," he said. - -Karen twisted up and caught him. "No, Glenn. Wait. Till they change -back. You'll see how happy and calm they all are. You'll be convinced." - -"Cats," he said, pulling away. "Run!" - -He ran; jumped the fence beyond the rodeo area and stumbled away into -the brush. He got home in under an hour. It was mostly downhill. - -Two nights later Wheelan set fire to Balderstone's bungalow while he -was away at the lecture. The fire department put out the fire before -more than half of the house was gone. - -Early on the following morning he rented an airplane and had his -remaining leaflets dropped over San Miguel. - -Wheelan had decided that if he couldn't do anything positive he was -still going to annoy Balderstone and anybody else who was on his side. - -No one mentioned his harrassing actions to him, not even Chief Neff. -Wheelan's aunt did indicate that she would never cook another meal or -wash another pajama top for him. He moved to a run-down motel near the -ocean. - - * * * * * - -He had been there nearly three days when, just after sundown, someone -knocked on his door. It was Karen, wearing a light cotton dress, her -hair pulled back. "Are you comfortable, Glenn?" - -He smiled, "Yeah. I like this business now. I've been thinking up new -activities." - -Karen frowned around the room. "Like to come out for a walk?" - -"Where?" - -"Oh, along the beach. You can't spend all your life in a damp motel -room." - -"It's not damp. That's the fresh sea air you feel." He picked a -windbreaker off the bed and nodded at the door. "So, let's walk." The -night was warm, but heavy with fog. "Sorry I left you up there the -other night, Karen. But you know...." - -"Yes. I know. Cats make you crawly." She took his hand when they -reached the sidewalk and pulled him after her in the direction of the -beach. "Have you really been doing all those annoying things, Glenn?" - -"Who else? You think I've gotten any recruits?" The street was quiet. -They left the last sidewalk and walked down through scrubby brush to -the beach. The water looked blurred as it touched the misty shore. -"Just me." - -Karen shivered and stepped away from Wheelan. "You've just made an -awful nuisance of yourself, Glenn. I've always been very fond of you, -as I'm sure you know. But--I'm very sorry." - -She darted in suddenly and pushed hard. - -The surprise and the clump of brush behind him sent Wheelan over into -the sand. When he got to his knees and looked around he caught a brief -flicker of Karen's skirt in the fog. Then she was lost. He stood. He -tried to brush himself off, but his hands had started to shake. And he -was beginning to feel odd in the stomach. - -Wind came in then across the water and scattered some of the mist. He -saw the cats. - -Dozens of them, crouched twenty yards away. Their tails were switching -and Wheelan became aware of a puzzling, whirring sound. - -Purring. - -In another gust more mist scattered, and Wheelan realized that he was -cut off from the town by a half circle of hundreds of cats. And they -were contentedly edging down across the sand toward him. - -Hundreds of damned cats! They made Wheelan feel so crawly he couldn't -move. But if he didn't move soon the first of the cats would touch him. -That thought made him jump back. The cats moved up. - -The sand was sucking at his shoes; he could feel the chill of the -ocean on the back of his neck. Maybe if he ran straight at them they'd -scatter. But he couldn't do that. They knew that, too. The cats eased a -little nearer. - -Wheelan bent and grabbed off his shoes, then his socks. He backed into -the cold, wet sand near the water. He got out of his clothes--all -except his shorts; he'd have to come ashore someplace. The cats were -close now. For a moment Wheelan thought he wouldn't be able to move, -but finally he was able to grin and thumb his nose. - -Then he ran quickly out into the water. - -It was dark and cold, but he was a fair swimmer. He could make it down -the coast a quarter mile or so. Far enough. As he swam, Wheelan made up -his mind he'd never come back to his home town again. - -Not even for Christmas. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ignatz, by Ron Goulart - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IGNATZ *** - -***** This file should be named 60799.txt or 60799.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/7/9/60799/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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