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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pipe Dream, by Fritz Leiber
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Pipe Dream
-
-Author: Fritz Leiber
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2019 [EBook #60664]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PIPE DREAM ***
-
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-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="344" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>PIPE DREAM</h1>
-
-<h2>BY FRITZ LEIBER</h2>
-
-<p class="ph1"><i>Simon Grue found a two-inch mermaid in<br />
-his bathtub. It had arms, hips, a finny<br />
-tail, and (here the real trouble began)<br />
-a face that reminded him irresistibly<br />
-of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich....</i></p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>It wasn't until the mermaid turned up in his bathtub that Simon Grue
-seriously began to wonder what the Russians were doing on the roof next
-door.</p>
-
-<p>The old house next door together with its spacious tarpapered roof,
-which held a sort of pent-shack, a cylindrical old water tank, and
-several chicken-wire enclosures, had always been a focus of curiosity
-in this region of Greenwich Village, especially to whoever happened
-to be renting Simon's studio, the north window-cum-skylight of which
-looked down upon it&mdash;if you were exceptionally tall or if, like Simon,
-you stood halfway up a stepladder and peered.</p>
-
-<p>During the 1920's, old-timers told Simon, the house had been owned by
-a bootlegger, who had installed a costly pipe organ and used the water
-tank to store hooch. Later there had been a colony of shaven-headed
-Buddhist monks, who had strolled about the roof in their orange and
-yellow robes, meditating and eating raw vegetables. There had followed
-a <i>commedia dell' arte</i> theatrical group, a fencing salon, a school of
-the organ (the bootlegger's organ was always one of the prime renting
-points of the house), an Arabian restaurant, several art schools and
-silvercraft shops of course, and an Existentialist coffee house.</p>
-
-<p>The last occupants had been two bony-cheeked Swedish blondes who
-sunbathed interminably and had built the chicken-wire enclosures to
-cage a large number of sinister smoke-colored dogs&mdash;Simon decided they
-were breeding werewolves, and one of his most successful abstractions,
-"Gray Hunger", had been painted to the inspiration of an eldritch
-howling. The dogs and their owners had departed abruptly one night in
-a closed van, without any of the dogs ever having been offered for
-sale or either of the girls having responded with anything more than a
-raised eyebrow to Simon's brave greetings of "Skoal!"</p>
-
-<p>The Russians had taken possession about six months ago&mdash;four brothers
-apparently, and one sister, who never stirred from the house but could
-occasionally be seen peering dreamily from a window. A white card with
-a boldly-inked "Stulnikov-Gurevich" had been thumbtacked to the peeling
-green-painted front door. Lafcadio Smits, the interior decorator, told
-Simon that the newcomers were clearly White Russians; he could tell it
-by their bushy beards. Lester Phlegius maintained that they were Red
-Russians passing as White, and talked alarmingly of spying, sabotage
-and suitcase bombs.</p>
-
-<p>Simon, who had the advantages of living on the spot and having
-been introduced to one of the brothers&mdash;Vasily&mdash;at a neighboring
-art gallery, came to believe that they were both Red and White and
-something more&mdash;solid, complete Slavs in any case, Double Dostoevsky
-Russians if one may be permitted the expression. They ordered vodka,
-caviar, and soda crackers by the case. They argued interminably (loudly
-in Russian, softly in English), they went on mysterious silent errands,
-they gloomed about on the roof, they made melancholy music with their
-deep harmonious voices and several large guitars. Once Simon though
-they even had the bootlegger's organ going, but there had been a bad
-storm at the time and he hadn't been sure.</p>
-
-<p>They were not quite as tight-lipped as the Swedish girls. Gradually a
-curt front-sidewalk acquaintance developed and Simon came to know their
-names. There was Vasily, of course, who wore thick glasses, the most
-scholarly-looking of the lot and certainly the most bibulous&mdash;Simon
-came to think of Vasily as the Vodka Breather. Occasionally he could be
-glimpsed holding Erlenmayer flasks, trays of culture dishes, and other
-pieces of biological equipment, or absentmindedly wiping off a glass
-slide with his beard.</p>
-
-<p>Then there was Ivan, the dourest of the four, though none of them save
-Vasily seemed very amiable. Simon's private names for Ivan were the
-Nihilist and the Bomber, since he sometimes lugged about with him a
-heavy globular leather case. With it and his beard&mdash;a square black
-one&mdash;he had more than once created a mild sensation in the narrow
-streets of the Village.</p>
-
-<p>Next there was Mikhail, who wore a large crucifix on a silver chain
-around his neck and looked like a more spiritual Rasputin. However,
-Simon thought of him less as the Religious than as the Whistler&mdash;for
-his inveterate habit of whistling into his straggly beard a strange
-tune that obeyed no common harmonic laws. Somehow Mikhail seemed to
-carry a chilly breeze around with him, a perpetual cold draught, so
-that Simon had to check himself in order not to clutch together his
-coat collar whenever he heard the approach of the eerie piping.</p>
-
-<p>Finally there was Lev, beardless, shorter by several inches, and
-certainly the most elusive of the brothers. He always moved at a
-scurry, frequently dipping his head, so that it was some time before
-Simon assured himself that he had the Stulnikov-Gurevich face. He
-did, unmistakably. Lev seemed to be away on trips a good deal. On his
-returns he was frequently accompanied by furtive but important-looking
-men&mdash;a different one on each occasion. There would be much bustle at
-such times&mdash;among other things, the shades would be drawn. Then in a
-few hours Lev would be off again, and his man-about-town companion too.</p>
-
-<p>And of course there was the indoors-keeping sister. Several times Simon
-had heard one of the brothers calling "Grushenka", so he assumed that
-was her name. She had the Stulnikov-Gurevich face too, though on her,
-almost incredibly, it was strangely attractive. She never ventured on
-the roof but she often sat in the pent-shack. As far as Simon could
-make out, she always wore some dark Victorian costume&mdash;at least it
-had a high neck, long sleeves, and puffed shoulders. Pale-faced in
-the greenish gloom, she would stare for hours out of the pent-shack's
-single window, though never in Simon's direction. Occasionally she
-would part and close her lips, but not exactly as if she were speaking,
-at least aloud&mdash;he thought of calling her the Bubble Blower. The effect
-was as odd as Mikhail's whistling but not as unpleasant. In fact, Simon
-found himself studying Grushenka for ridiculously long periods of time.
-His mild obsession began to irk him and one day he decided henceforth
-to stay away altogether from his north window and the stepladder. As a
-result he saw little of the alterations the Russians began to make on
-the roof at this point, though he did notice that they lugged up among
-other things a length of large-diameter transparent plastic piping.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>So much for the Russians, now for the mermaid. Late one night Simon
-started to fill his bathtub with cold water to soak his brushes
-and rags&mdash;he was working with a kind of calcimine at the time,
-experimenting with portable murals painted on large plaster-faced
-wooden panels. Heavily laden, he got back to the bathroom just in time
-to shut off the water&mdash;and to see a tiny fish of some sort splashing
-around in it.</p>
-
-<p>He was not unduly surprised. Fish up to four or five inches in length
-were not unheard-of apparitions in the cold-water supply of the area,
-and this specimen looked as if it displaced no more than a teaspoon of
-water.</p>
-
-<p>He made a lucky grab and the next moment he was holding in his firmly
-clenched right hand the bottom half of a slim wriggling creature hardly
-two inches long&mdash;and now Simon was surprised indeed.</p>
-
-<p>To begin with, it was not greenish white nor any common fish color,
-but palely-pinkish, flesh-colored in fact. And it didn't seem so much
-a fish as a tadpole&mdash;at least its visible half had a slightly oversize
-head shaped like a bullet that has mushroomed a little, and two tiny
-writhing arms or appendages of some sort&mdash;and it felt as if it had
-rather large hips for a fish or even a tadpole. Equip a two-months
-human embryo with a finny tail, give it in addition a precocious
-feminine sexiness, and you'd get something of the same effect.</p>
-
-<p>But all that was nothing. The trouble was that it had a face&mdash;a tiny
-face, of course, and rather goggly-ghostly like a planarian's, but a
-face nevertheless, a human-looking face, and also (here was the real
-trouble) a face that bore a grotesque but striking resemblance to that
-of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich.</p>
-
-<p>Simon's fingers tightened convulsively. Simultaneously the slippery
-creature gave a desperate wriggle. It shot into the air in a high curve
-and fell into the scant inch of space between the bathtub and the wall.</p>
-
-<p>The next half hour was hectic in a groveling sort of way. Retrieving
-anything from behind Simon's ancient claw-footed bathtub was a most
-difficult feat. There was barely space to get an arm under it and at
-one point the warping of the floor boards prevented even that. Besides,
-there was the host of dust-shrouded objects it had previously been too
-much trouble to tease out&mdash;an accumulation of decades. At first Simon
-tried to guide himself by the faint flopping noises along the hidden
-base of the wall, but these soon ceased.</p>
-
-<p>Being on your knees and your chest with an ear against the floor and
-an arm strainingly outstretched is probably not the best position to
-assume while weird trains of thought go hooting through your head, but
-sometimes it has to happen that way. First came a remembered piece
-of neighborhood lore that supported the possibility of a connection
-between the house next door and the tiny pink aquatic creature now
-suffering minute agonies behind the bathtub. No one knew what ancient
-and probably larceny-minded amateur plumber was responsible, but the
-old-timers assured Simon there was a link between the water supply of
-the Russians' house with its aerial cistern and that of the building
-containing Simon's studio and several smaller apartments; at any
-rate they maintained that there had been a time during the period
-when the bootlegger was storing hooch in the water tank that several
-neighborhood cold-water taps were dispensing a weak but nonetheless
-authoritative mixture of bourbon and branch water.</p>
-
-<p>So, thought Simon as he groped and strained, if the Russians were
-somehow responsible for this weird fishlet, there was no insuperable
-difficulty in understanding how it might have gotten here.</p>
-
-<p>But that was the least of Simon's preoccupations. He scrabbled wildly
-and unsuccessfully for several minutes, and then realizing he would
-never get anywhere in this unsystematic manner, he began to remove the
-accumulated debris piece by piece: dark cracked ends of soap, washrags
-dried out in tortured attitudes, innumerable dark-dyed cigarette
-stumps, several pocket magazines with bleached wrinkled pages, empty
-and near-empty medicine bottles and pill vials, rusty hairpins, bobby
-pins, safety pins, crumpled toothpaste tubes (and a couple for oil
-paint), a gray toothbrush, a fifty-cent piece and several pennies, the
-mummy of a mouse, a letter from Picasso, and last of all, from the dark
-corner behind the bathtub's inside claw, the limp pitiful thing he was
-seeking.</p>
-
-<p>It was even tinier than he'd thought. He carefully washed the dust and
-flug off it, but it was clearly dead and its resemblance to Grushenka
-Stulnikov-Gurevich had become problematical&mdash;indeed, Simon decided that
-someone seeing it now for the first time would think it a freak minnow
-or monstrous tadpole and nothing more, though mutation or disease had
-obviously been at work. The illusion of a miniature mermaid still
-existed in the tapering tail and armlike appendages, but it was faint.
-He tried to remember what he knew about salamanders&mdash;almost nothing,
-it turned out. He thought of embryos, but his mind veered away from the
-subject.</p>
-
-<p>He wandered back into the studio carrying the thing in his hand. He
-climbed the stepladder by the north window and studied the house
-next door. What windows he could see were dark. He got a very vague
-impression that the roof had changed. After he had strained his
-eyes for some time he fancied he could see a faint path of greenish
-luminescence streaming between the pent-shack and the water-tank, but
-it was very faint indeed and might only be his vision swimming.</p>
-
-<p>He climbed down the stepladder and stood for a moment weighing the tiny
-dead thing in his hand. It occurred to him that one of his friends at
-the university could dig up a zoologist to pass on his find.</p>
-
-<p>But Simon's curiosity was more artistic than scientific. In the end he
-twisted a bit of cellophane around the thing, placed it on the ledge
-of his easel and went off to bed ... and to a series of disturbingly
-erotic dreams.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Next day he got up late and, after breakfasting on black coffee,
-gloomed around the studio for a while, picking things up and putting
-them down. He glanced frequently at the stepladder, but resisted the
-temptation to climb up and have another look next door. Sighing, he
-thumbtacked a sheet of paper to a drawing board and half-heartedly
-began blocking in a female figure. It was insipid and lifeless.
-Stabbing irritably at the heavy curve of the figure's hip, he broke
-his charcoal. "Damn!" he said, glaring around the room. Abandoning
-all pretense, he threw the charcoal on the floor and climbed the
-stepladder. He pressed his nose against the glass.</p>
-
-<p>In daylight, the adjoining roof looked bare and grimy. There was a big
-transparent pipe running between the water tank and the shack, braced
-in two places by improvised-looking wooden scaffolding. Listening
-intently, Simon thought he could hear a motor going in the shack. The
-water looked sallow green. It reminded Simon of those futuristic algae
-farms where the stuff is supposed to be pumped through transparent
-pipes to expose it to sunlight. There seemed to be a transparent top
-on the water tank too&mdash;it was too high for Simon to see, but there
-was a gleam around the edge. Staring at the pipe again, Simon got the
-impression there were little things traveling in the water, but he
-couldn't make them out.</p>
-
-<p>Climbing down in some excitement, Simon got the twist of cellophane
-from the ledge of the easel and stared at its contents. Wild thoughts
-were tumbling through his head as he got back up on the stepladder.
-Sunlight flashed on the greenish water pipe between the tank and the
-shack, but after the first glance he had no eyes for it. Grushenka
-Stulnikov-Gurevich had her face tragically pressed to the window of
-the shack. She was wearing the black dress with high neck and puffed
-shoulders. At that moment she looked straight at him. She lifted her
-hands and seemed to speak imploringly. Then she slowly sank from sight
-as if, it horridly occurred to Simon, into quicksand.</p>
-
-<p>Simon sprang from his chair, heart beating wildly, and ran down the
-stairs to the street. Two or three passersby paused to study him as he
-alternately pounded the flaking green door of the Russians' house and
-leaned on the button. Also watching was the shirt-sleeved driver of a
-moving van, emblazoned "Stulnikov-Gurevich Enterprises," which almost
-filled the street in front of the house.</p>
-
-<p>The door opened narrowly. A man with a square black beard frowned out
-of it. He topped Simon by almost a head.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?" Ivan the Bomber asked, in a deep, exasperated voice.</p>
-
-<p>"I must see the lady of the house immediately," Simon cried. "Your
-sister, I believe. She's in danger." He surged forward.</p>
-
-<p>The butt of the Bomber's right palm took him firmly in the chest and he
-staggered back. The Bomber said coldly, "My sister is&mdash;ha!&mdash;taking a
-bath."</p>
-
-<p>Simon cried, "In that case she's drowning!" and surged forward again,
-but the Bomber's hand stopped him short. "I'll call the police!" Simon
-shouted, flailing his limbs. The hand at his chest suddenly stopped
-pushing and began to pull. Gripped by the front of his shirt, Simon
-felt himself being drawn rapidly inside. "Let go! Help, a kidnapping!"
-he shouted to the inquisitive faces outside, before the door banged
-shut.</p>
-
-<p>"No police!" rumbled the Bomber, assisting Simon upstairs.</p>
-
-<p>"Now look here," Simon protested futilely. In the two-story-high
-living room to his right, the pipes of an organ gleamed golden from
-the shadows. At the second landing, a disheveled figure met them,
-glasses twinkling&mdash;Vasily the Vodka Breather. He spoke querulously in
-Russian to Ivan, who replied shortly, then Vasily turned and the three
-of them crowded up the narrow third flight to the pent-shack. This
-housed a small noisy machine, perhaps an aerator of some sort, for
-bubbles were streaming into the transparent pipe where it was connected
-to the machine; and under the pipe, sitting with an idiot smile on a
-chair of red plush and gilt, was a pale black-mustached man. An empty
-clear-glass bottle with a red and gold label lay on the floor at his
-feet. The opposite side of the room was hidden by a heavy plastic
-shower curtain. Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich was not in view.</p>
-
-<p>Ivan said something explosive, picking up the bottle and staring at
-it. "Vodka!" he went on. "I have told you not to mix the pipe and the
-vodka! Now see what you have done!"</p>
-
-<p>"To me it seemed hospitable," said Vasily with an apologetic gesture.
-"Besides, only one bottle&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Ducking under the pipe where it crossed the pent-shack, Ivan picked
-up the pale man and dumped him crosswise in the chair, with his
-patent-leather shoes sticking up on one side and his plump hands
-crossed over his chest. "Let him sleep. First we must take down all
-the apparatus, before the capitalistic police arrive. Now: what to do
-with this one?" He looked at Simon, and clenched one large and hairy
-fist.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Nyet-nyet-nyet</i>," said the Vodka Breather, and went to whisper in
-Ivan's ear. They both stared at Simon, who felt uncomfortable and began
-to back toward the door; but Ivan ducked agilely under the pipe and
-grasped him by the arm, pulling him effortlessly toward the roof exit.
-"Just come this way if you please, Mr. Gru-<i>ay</i>," said Vasily, hurrying
-after. As they left the shack, he picked up a kitchen chair.</p>
-
-<p>Crossing the roof, Simon made a sudden effort and wrenched himself
-free. They caught him again at the edge of the roof, where he had
-run with nothing clearly in mind, but with his mouth open to yell.
-Suspended in the grip of the two Russians, with Ivan's meaty palm over
-his mouth, Simon had a momentary glimpse of the street below. A third
-bearded figure, Mikhail the Religious, was staring up at them from
-the sunny sidewalk. The melancholy face, the deep-socketed tormented
-eyes, and the narrow beard tangled with the dangling crucifix combined
-to give the effect of a Tolstoy novel's dust-jacket. As they hauled
-Simon away, he had the impression that a chilly breeze had sprung up
-and the street had darkened. In his ears was Mikhail's distant, oddly
-discordant whistling.</p>
-
-<p>Grunting, the two brothers set Simon down on the kitchen chair and slid
-him across the roof until something hard but resilient touched the top
-of his head. It was the plastic pipe, through which, peering upward, he
-could see myriads of tiny polliwog-shapes flitting back and forth.</p>
-
-<p>"Do us a kindness not to make noise," said Ivan, removing his palm. "My
-brother Vasily will now explain." He went away.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Curiosity as much as shock kept Simon in his chair. Vasily, bobbing
-his head and smiling, sat down tailor-fashion on the roof in front
-of him. "First I must tell you, Mr. Gru-<i>ay</i>, that I am specialist
-in biological sciences. Here you see results of my most successful
-experiment." He withdrew a round clear-glass bottle from his pocket and
-unscrewed the top.</p>
-
-<p>"Ah?" said Simon tentatively.</p>
-
-<p>"Indeed yes. In my researches, Mr. Gru-<i>ay</i>, I discovered a chemical
-which will inhibit growth at any level of embryonic development,
-producing a viable organism at that point. The basic effect of
-this chemical is always toward survival at whatever level of
-development&mdash;one cell, a blastula, a worm, a fish, a four-legger.
-This research, which Lysenko scoffed at when I told him of it, I had
-no trouble in keeping secret, though at the time I was working as the
-unhappy collaborator of the godless soviets. But perhaps I am being too
-technical?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not at all," Simon assured him.</p>
-
-<p>"Good," Vasily said with simple satisfaction and gulped at his bottle.
-"Meanwhile my brother Mikhail was a religious brother at a monastery
-near Mount Athos, my Nihilist brother Ivan was in central Europe,
-while my third brother Lev, who is of commercial talents, had preceded
-us to the New World, where we always felt it would some day be our
-destiny to join one another.</p>
-
-<p>"With the aid of brother Ivan, I and my sister Grushenka escaped from
-Russia. We picked up Mikhail from his monastery and proceeded here,
-where Lev had become a capitalist business magnate.</p>
-
-<p>"My brothers, Ivan especially, were interested in my research. He
-had a theory that we could eventually produce hosts of men in this
-way, whole armies and political parties, all Nihilist and all of them
-Stulnikov-Gureviches. I assured him that this was impossible, that I
-could not play Cadmus, for free-swimming forms are one thing, we have
-the way to feed them in the aqueous medium; but to make fully developed
-mammals placental nourishment is necessary&mdash;that I cannot provide. Yet
-to please him I begin with (pardon me!) the egg of my sister, that was
-as good a beginning as any and perhaps it intrigued my vanity. Ivan
-dreamed his dreams of a Nihilist Stulnikov-Gurevich humanity&mdash;it was
-harmless, as I told myself."</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="331" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Simon stared at him glassy-eyed. Something rather peculiar was
-beginning to happen inside his head&mdash;about an inch under the point
-where the cool water-filled plastic pipe pressed down on his scalp.
-Little ghostly images were darting&mdash;delightfully wispy little
-girl-things, smiling down at him impudently, then flirting away with a
-quick motion of their mermaid tails.</p>
-
-<p>The sky had been growing steadily darker and now there came the growl
-of thunder. Against the purple-gray clouds Simon could barely make out
-the semi-transparent shapes of the polliwogs in the pipe over his head;
-but the images inside his mind were growing clearer by the minute.</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, we have a storm," Vasily observed as the thunder growled again.
-"That reminds me of Mikhail, who is much influenced by our Finnish
-grandmother. He had the belief as a child that he could call up the
-winds by whistling for them&mdash;he even learned special wind musics from
-her. Later he became a Christian religious&mdash;there are great struggles
-in him. Mikhail objected to my researches when he heard I used the
-egg of my sister. He said we will produce millions of souls who are
-not baptized. I asked him how about the water they are in, he replied
-this is not the same thing, these little swimmers will wriggle in hell
-eternally. This worried him greatly. We tried to tell him I had not
-used the egg of my sister, only the egg of a fish.</p>
-
-<p>"But he did not believe this, because my sister changed greatly at
-the time. She no longer spoke. She put on my mother's bathing costume
-(we are a family people) and retired to the bathtub all day long. I
-accepted this&mdash;at least in the water she is not violent. Mikhail said,
-"See, her soul is now split into many unredeemed sub-souls, one each
-for the little swimmers. There is a sympathy between them&mdash;a hypnotic
-vibration. So long as you keep them near her, in that tank on the
-roof, this will be. If they were gone from there, far from there, the
-sub-souls would reunite and Grushenka's soul would be one again." He
-begged me to stop my research, to dump it in the sea, to scatter it
-away, but Lev and Ivan demand I keep on. Yet Mikhail warned me that
-works of evil end in the whirlwind. I am torn and undecided." He gulped
-at his vodka.</p>
-
-<p>Thunder growled louder. Simon was thinking, dreamily, that if the soul
-of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich were split into thousands of sub-souls,
-vibrating hynotically in the nearby water tank, with at least one of
-them escaping as far as his bathtub, then it was no wonder if Grushenka
-had a strange attraction for him.</p>
-
-<p>"But that is not yet the worst," Vasily continued. "The hypnotic
-vibrations of the free-swimming ones in their multitude turn out to
-have a stimulating effect on any male who is near. Their sub-minds
-induce dreams of the piquant sort. Lev says that to make money for the
-work we must sell these dreams to rich men. I protest, but to no avail."</p>
-
-<p>"Lev is maddened for money. Now besides selling the dreams I find he
-plans to sell the creatures themselves, sell them one by one, but keep
-enough to sell the dreams too. It is a madness."</p>
-
-<p>The darkness had become that of night. The thunder continued to growl
-and now it seemed to Simon that it had music in it. Visions swam
-through his mind to its rhythm&mdash;hordes of swimming pygmy souls,
-of unborn water babies, migrations of miniature mermaids. The pipe
-hanging between water tank and pent-shack became in his imagination
-a giant umbilicus or a canal for a monstrous multiple birth. Sitting
-beneath it, helpless to move, he focused his attention with increasing
-pleasure on the active, supple, ever more human girl-bodies that swam
-across his mind. Now more mermaid than tadpole, with bright smiling
-lips and eyes, long Lorelei-hair trailing behind them, they darted and
-hovered caressingly. In their wide-cheeked oval faces, he discovered
-without shock, there was a transcendent resemblance to the features of
-Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich&mdash;a younger, milk-skinned maiden of the
-steppes, with challenging eyes and fingers that brushed against him
-with delightful shocks....</p>
-
-<p>"So it is for me the great problem," Vasily's distant voice
-continued. "I see in my work only the pure research, the play of
-the mind. Lev sees money, Ivan sees dragon teeth&mdash;fodder for his
-political cannon&mdash;Mikhail sees unshriven souls, Grushenka sees&mdash;who
-knows?&mdash;madness. It is indeed one great problem."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Thunder came again, crashingly this time. The door of the pent-shack
-opened. Framed in it stood Ivan the Bomber. "Vasily!" he roared. "Do
-you know what that idiot is doing now?"</p>
-
-<p>As the thunder and his voice trailed off together, Simon became aware
-at last of the identity of the other sound, which had been growing in
-volume all the time.</p>
-
-<p>Simultaneously Vasily struggled to his feet.</p>
-
-<p>"The organ!" he cried. "Mikhail is <i>playing</i> the Whirlwind Music! We
-must stop him!" Pausing only for a last pull at the bottle, he charged
-into the pent-shack, following Ivan.</p>
-
-<p>Wind was shaking the heavy pipe over Simon's head, tossing him back and
-forth in the chair. Looking with an effort toward the west, Simon saw
-the reason: a spinning black pencil of wind that was writing its way
-toward them in wreckage across the intervening roofs.</p>
-
-<p>The chair fell under him. Stumbling across the roof, he tugged futilely
-at the door to the pent-shack, then threw himself flat, clawing at the
-tarpaper.</p>
-
-<p>There was a mounting roar. The top of the water tank went spinning off
-like a flying saucer. Momentarily, as if it were a giant syringe, the
-whirlwind dipped into the tank. Simon felt himself sliding across the
-roof, felt his legs lifting. He fetched up against the roof's low wall
-and at that moment the wind let go of him and his legs touched tarpaper
-again.</p>
-
-<p>Gaining his feet numbly, Simon staggered into the leaning pent-shack.
-The pale man was nowhere to be seen, the plush chair empty. The curtain
-at the other side of the room had fallen with its rods, revealing a
-bathtub more antique than Simon's. In the tub, under the window, sat
-Grushenka. The lightning flares showed her with her chin level with
-the water, her eyes placidly staring, her mouth opening and closing.</p>
-
-<p>Simon found himself putting his arms around the black-clad figure. With
-a straining effort he lifted her out of the tub, water sloshing all
-over his legs, and half carried, half slid with her down the stairs.</p>
-
-<p>He fetched up panting and disheveled at the top landing, his attention
-riveted by the lightning-illuminated scene in the two-story-high living
-room below. At the far end of it a dark-robed figure crouched at the
-console of the mighty organ, like a giant bat at the base of the
-portico of a black and gold temple. In the center of the room Ivan was
-in the act of heaving above his head his globular leather case.</p>
-
-<p>Mikhail darted a look over his shoulder and sprang to one side. The
-projectile crashed against the organ. Mikhail picked himself up,
-tearing something from his neck. Ivan lunged forward with a roar.
-Mikhail crashed a fist against his jaw. The Bomber went down and didn't
-come up. Mikhail unwrapped his crucifix from his fingers and resumed
-playing.</p>
-
-<p>With a wild cry Simon heaved himself to his feet, stumbled over
-Grushenka's sodden garments, and pitched headlong down the stairs.</p>
-
-<p>When he came to, the house was empty and the Stulnikov moving van
-was gone. At the front door he was met by a poker-faced young man
-who identified himself as a member of the FBI. Simon showed him the
-globular case Ivan had thrown at the organ. It proved to contain a
-bowling ball.</p>
-
-<p>The young gentleman listened to his story without changing expression,
-thanked him warmly, and shooed him out.</p>
-
-<p>The Stulnikov-Gureviches disappeared for good, though not quite without
-a trace. Simon found this item in the next evening's paper, the first
-of many he accumulated yearningly in a scrapbook during the following
-months:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p class="ph2">MERMAID RAIN A HOAX, SCIENTIST DECLARES</p>
-
-<p><i>Milford, Pa.</i>&mdash;The "mermaid rain" reported here has been declared a
-fraud by an eminent European biologist. Vasily Stulnikov-Gurevich,
-formerly Professor of Genetics at Pire University, Latvia, passing
-through here on a cross-country trip, declared the miniature
-"mermaids" were "albino tadpoles, probably scattered about as a hoax
-by schoolboys."</p></div>
-
-<p>The professor added, "I would like to know where they got them,
-however. There is clear evidence of mutation, due perhaps to fallout."</p>
-
-<p>Dr. Stulnikov directed his party in a brief but intensive search for
-overlooked specimens. His charming silent sister, Grushenka Stulnikov,
-wearing a quaint Latvian swimming costume, explored the shallows of the
-Delaware.</p>
-
-<p>After collecting as many specimens as possible, the professor and his
-assistants continued their trip in their unusual camping car. Dr.
-Stulnikov intends to found a biological research center "in the calm
-and tolerant atmosphere of the West Coast," he declared.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pipe Dream, by Fritz Leiber
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Pipe Dream
-
-Author: Fritz Leiber
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2019 [EBook #60664]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PIPE DREAM ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
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-
-
-
- PIPE DREAM
-
- BY FRITZ LEIBER
-
- _Simon Grue found a two-inch mermaid in
- his bathtub. It had arms, hips, a finny
- tail, and (here the real trouble began)
- a face that reminded him irresistibly
- of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich...._
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-It wasn't until the mermaid turned up in his bathtub that Simon Grue
-seriously began to wonder what the Russians were doing on the roof next
-door.
-
-The old house next door together with its spacious tarpapered roof,
-which held a sort of pent-shack, a cylindrical old water tank, and
-several chicken-wire enclosures, had always been a focus of curiosity
-in this region of Greenwich Village, especially to whoever happened
-to be renting Simon's studio, the north window-cum-skylight of which
-looked down upon it--if you were exceptionally tall or if, like Simon,
-you stood halfway up a stepladder and peered.
-
-During the 1920's, old-timers told Simon, the house had been owned by
-a bootlegger, who had installed a costly pipe organ and used the water
-tank to store hooch. Later there had been a colony of shaven-headed
-Buddhist monks, who had strolled about the roof in their orange and
-yellow robes, meditating and eating raw vegetables. There had followed
-a _commedia dell' arte_ theatrical group, a fencing salon, a school of
-the organ (the bootlegger's organ was always one of the prime renting
-points of the house), an Arabian restaurant, several art schools and
-silvercraft shops of course, and an Existentialist coffee house.
-
-The last occupants had been two bony-cheeked Swedish blondes who
-sunbathed interminably and had built the chicken-wire enclosures to
-cage a large number of sinister smoke-colored dogs--Simon decided they
-were breeding werewolves, and one of his most successful abstractions,
-"Gray Hunger", had been painted to the inspiration of an eldritch
-howling. The dogs and their owners had departed abruptly one night in
-a closed van, without any of the dogs ever having been offered for
-sale or either of the girls having responded with anything more than a
-raised eyebrow to Simon's brave greetings of "Skoal!"
-
-The Russians had taken possession about six months ago--four brothers
-apparently, and one sister, who never stirred from the house but could
-occasionally be seen peering dreamily from a window. A white card with
-a boldly-inked "Stulnikov-Gurevich" had been thumbtacked to the peeling
-green-painted front door. Lafcadio Smits, the interior decorator, told
-Simon that the newcomers were clearly White Russians; he could tell it
-by their bushy beards. Lester Phlegius maintained that they were Red
-Russians passing as White, and talked alarmingly of spying, sabotage
-and suitcase bombs.
-
-Simon, who had the advantages of living on the spot and having
-been introduced to one of the brothers--Vasily--at a neighboring
-art gallery, came to believe that they were both Red and White and
-something more--solid, complete Slavs in any case, Double Dostoevsky
-Russians if one may be permitted the expression. They ordered vodka,
-caviar, and soda crackers by the case. They argued interminably (loudly
-in Russian, softly in English), they went on mysterious silent errands,
-they gloomed about on the roof, they made melancholy music with their
-deep harmonious voices and several large guitars. Once Simon though
-they even had the bootlegger's organ going, but there had been a bad
-storm at the time and he hadn't been sure.
-
-They were not quite as tight-lipped as the Swedish girls. Gradually a
-curt front-sidewalk acquaintance developed and Simon came to know their
-names. There was Vasily, of course, who wore thick glasses, the most
-scholarly-looking of the lot and certainly the most bibulous--Simon
-came to think of Vasily as the Vodka Breather. Occasionally he could be
-glimpsed holding Erlenmayer flasks, trays of culture dishes, and other
-pieces of biological equipment, or absentmindedly wiping off a glass
-slide with his beard.
-
-Then there was Ivan, the dourest of the four, though none of them save
-Vasily seemed very amiable. Simon's private names for Ivan were the
-Nihilist and the Bomber, since he sometimes lugged about with him a
-heavy globular leather case. With it and his beard--a square black
-one--he had more than once created a mild sensation in the narrow
-streets of the Village.
-
-Next there was Mikhail, who wore a large crucifix on a silver chain
-around his neck and looked like a more spiritual Rasputin. However,
-Simon thought of him less as the Religious than as the Whistler--for
-his inveterate habit of whistling into his straggly beard a strange
-tune that obeyed no common harmonic laws. Somehow Mikhail seemed to
-carry a chilly breeze around with him, a perpetual cold draught, so
-that Simon had to check himself in order not to clutch together his
-coat collar whenever he heard the approach of the eerie piping.
-
-Finally there was Lev, beardless, shorter by several inches, and
-certainly the most elusive of the brothers. He always moved at a
-scurry, frequently dipping his head, so that it was some time before
-Simon assured himself that he had the Stulnikov-Gurevich face. He
-did, unmistakably. Lev seemed to be away on trips a good deal. On his
-returns he was frequently accompanied by furtive but important-looking
-men--a different one on each occasion. There would be much bustle at
-such times--among other things, the shades would be drawn. Then in a
-few hours Lev would be off again, and his man-about-town companion too.
-
-And of course there was the indoors-keeping sister. Several times Simon
-had heard one of the brothers calling "Grushenka", so he assumed that
-was her name. She had the Stulnikov-Gurevich face too, though on her,
-almost incredibly, it was strangely attractive. She never ventured on
-the roof but she often sat in the pent-shack. As far as Simon could
-make out, she always wore some dark Victorian costume--at least it
-had a high neck, long sleeves, and puffed shoulders. Pale-faced in
-the greenish gloom, she would stare for hours out of the pent-shack's
-single window, though never in Simon's direction. Occasionally she
-would part and close her lips, but not exactly as if she were speaking,
-at least aloud--he thought of calling her the Bubble Blower. The effect
-was as odd as Mikhail's whistling but not as unpleasant. In fact, Simon
-found himself studying Grushenka for ridiculously long periods of time.
-His mild obsession began to irk him and one day he decided henceforth
-to stay away altogether from his north window and the stepladder. As a
-result he saw little of the alterations the Russians began to make on
-the roof at this point, though he did notice that they lugged up among
-other things a length of large-diameter transparent plastic piping.
-
- * * * * *
-
-So much for the Russians, now for the mermaid. Late one night Simon
-started to fill his bathtub with cold water to soak his brushes
-and rags--he was working with a kind of calcimine at the time,
-experimenting with portable murals painted on large plaster-faced
-wooden panels. Heavily laden, he got back to the bathroom just in time
-to shut off the water--and to see a tiny fish of some sort splashing
-around in it.
-
-He was not unduly surprised. Fish up to four or five inches in length
-were not unheard-of apparitions in the cold-water supply of the area,
-and this specimen looked as if it displaced no more than a teaspoon of
-water.
-
-He made a lucky grab and the next moment he was holding in his firmly
-clenched right hand the bottom half of a slim wriggling creature hardly
-two inches long--and now Simon was surprised indeed.
-
-To begin with, it was not greenish white nor any common fish color,
-but palely-pinkish, flesh-colored in fact. And it didn't seem so much
-a fish as a tadpole--at least its visible half had a slightly oversize
-head shaped like a bullet that has mushroomed a little, and two tiny
-writhing arms or appendages of some sort--and it felt as if it had
-rather large hips for a fish or even a tadpole. Equip a two-months
-human embryo with a finny tail, give it in addition a precocious
-feminine sexiness, and you'd get something of the same effect.
-
-But all that was nothing. The trouble was that it had a face--a tiny
-face, of course, and rather goggly-ghostly like a planarian's, but a
-face nevertheless, a human-looking face, and also (here was the real
-trouble) a face that bore a grotesque but striking resemblance to that
-of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich.
-
-Simon's fingers tightened convulsively. Simultaneously the slippery
-creature gave a desperate wriggle. It shot into the air in a high curve
-and fell into the scant inch of space between the bathtub and the wall.
-
-The next half hour was hectic in a groveling sort of way. Retrieving
-anything from behind Simon's ancient claw-footed bathtub was a most
-difficult feat. There was barely space to get an arm under it and at
-one point the warping of the floor boards prevented even that. Besides,
-there was the host of dust-shrouded objects it had previously been too
-much trouble to tease out--an accumulation of decades. At first Simon
-tried to guide himself by the faint flopping noises along the hidden
-base of the wall, but these soon ceased.
-
-Being on your knees and your chest with an ear against the floor and
-an arm strainingly outstretched is probably not the best position to
-assume while weird trains of thought go hooting through your head, but
-sometimes it has to happen that way. First came a remembered piece
-of neighborhood lore that supported the possibility of a connection
-between the house next door and the tiny pink aquatic creature now
-suffering minute agonies behind the bathtub. No one knew what ancient
-and probably larceny-minded amateur plumber was responsible, but the
-old-timers assured Simon there was a link between the water supply of
-the Russians' house with its aerial cistern and that of the building
-containing Simon's studio and several smaller apartments; at any
-rate they maintained that there had been a time during the period
-when the bootlegger was storing hooch in the water tank that several
-neighborhood cold-water taps were dispensing a weak but nonetheless
-authoritative mixture of bourbon and branch water.
-
-So, thought Simon as he groped and strained, if the Russians were
-somehow responsible for this weird fishlet, there was no insuperable
-difficulty in understanding how it might have gotten here.
-
-But that was the least of Simon's preoccupations. He scrabbled wildly
-and unsuccessfully for several minutes, and then realizing he would
-never get anywhere in this unsystematic manner, he began to remove the
-accumulated debris piece by piece: dark cracked ends of soap, washrags
-dried out in tortured attitudes, innumerable dark-dyed cigarette
-stumps, several pocket magazines with bleached wrinkled pages, empty
-and near-empty medicine bottles and pill vials, rusty hairpins, bobby
-pins, safety pins, crumpled toothpaste tubes (and a couple for oil
-paint), a gray toothbrush, a fifty-cent piece and several pennies, the
-mummy of a mouse, a letter from Picasso, and last of all, from the dark
-corner behind the bathtub's inside claw, the limp pitiful thing he was
-seeking.
-
-It was even tinier than he'd thought. He carefully washed the dust and
-flug off it, but it was clearly dead and its resemblance to Grushenka
-Stulnikov-Gurevich had become problematical--indeed, Simon decided that
-someone seeing it now for the first time would think it a freak minnow
-or monstrous tadpole and nothing more, though mutation or disease had
-obviously been at work. The illusion of a miniature mermaid still
-existed in the tapering tail and armlike appendages, but it was faint.
-He tried to remember what he knew about salamanders--almost nothing,
-it turned out. He thought of embryos, but his mind veered away from the
-subject.
-
-He wandered back into the studio carrying the thing in his hand. He
-climbed the stepladder by the north window and studied the house
-next door. What windows he could see were dark. He got a very vague
-impression that the roof had changed. After he had strained his
-eyes for some time he fancied he could see a faint path of greenish
-luminescence streaming between the pent-shack and the water-tank, but
-it was very faint indeed and might only be his vision swimming.
-
-He climbed down the stepladder and stood for a moment weighing the tiny
-dead thing in his hand. It occurred to him that one of his friends at
-the university could dig up a zoologist to pass on his find.
-
-But Simon's curiosity was more artistic than scientific. In the end he
-twisted a bit of cellophane around the thing, placed it on the ledge
-of his easel and went off to bed ... and to a series of disturbingly
-erotic dreams.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Next day he got up late and, after breakfasting on black coffee,
-gloomed around the studio for a while, picking things up and putting
-them down. He glanced frequently at the stepladder, but resisted the
-temptation to climb up and have another look next door. Sighing, he
-thumbtacked a sheet of paper to a drawing board and half-heartedly
-began blocking in a female figure. It was insipid and lifeless.
-Stabbing irritably at the heavy curve of the figure's hip, he broke
-his charcoal. "Damn!" he said, glaring around the room. Abandoning
-all pretense, he threw the charcoal on the floor and climbed the
-stepladder. He pressed his nose against the glass.
-
-In daylight, the adjoining roof looked bare and grimy. There was a big
-transparent pipe running between the water tank and the shack, braced
-in two places by improvised-looking wooden scaffolding. Listening
-intently, Simon thought he could hear a motor going in the shack. The
-water looked sallow green. It reminded Simon of those futuristic algae
-farms where the stuff is supposed to be pumped through transparent
-pipes to expose it to sunlight. There seemed to be a transparent top
-on the water tank too--it was too high for Simon to see, but there
-was a gleam around the edge. Staring at the pipe again, Simon got the
-impression there were little things traveling in the water, but he
-couldn't make them out.
-
-Climbing down in some excitement, Simon got the twist of cellophane
-from the ledge of the easel and stared at its contents. Wild thoughts
-were tumbling through his head as he got back up on the stepladder.
-Sunlight flashed on the greenish water pipe between the tank and the
-shack, but after the first glance he had no eyes for it. Grushenka
-Stulnikov-Gurevich had her face tragically pressed to the window of
-the shack. She was wearing the black dress with high neck and puffed
-shoulders. At that moment she looked straight at him. She lifted her
-hands and seemed to speak imploringly. Then she slowly sank from sight
-as if, it horridly occurred to Simon, into quicksand.
-
-Simon sprang from his chair, heart beating wildly, and ran down the
-stairs to the street. Two or three passersby paused to study him as he
-alternately pounded the flaking green door of the Russians' house and
-leaned on the button. Also watching was the shirt-sleeved driver of a
-moving van, emblazoned "Stulnikov-Gurevich Enterprises," which almost
-filled the street in front of the house.
-
-The door opened narrowly. A man with a square black beard frowned out
-of it. He topped Simon by almost a head.
-
-"Yes?" Ivan the Bomber asked, in a deep, exasperated voice.
-
-"I must see the lady of the house immediately," Simon cried. "Your
-sister, I believe. She's in danger." He surged forward.
-
-The butt of the Bomber's right palm took him firmly in the chest and he
-staggered back. The Bomber said coldly, "My sister is--ha!--taking a
-bath."
-
-Simon cried, "In that case she's drowning!" and surged forward again,
-but the Bomber's hand stopped him short. "I'll call the police!" Simon
-shouted, flailing his limbs. The hand at his chest suddenly stopped
-pushing and began to pull. Gripped by the front of his shirt, Simon
-felt himself being drawn rapidly inside. "Let go! Help, a kidnapping!"
-he shouted to the inquisitive faces outside, before the door banged
-shut.
-
-"No police!" rumbled the Bomber, assisting Simon upstairs.
-
-"Now look here," Simon protested futilely. In the two-story-high
-living room to his right, the pipes of an organ gleamed golden from
-the shadows. At the second landing, a disheveled figure met them,
-glasses twinkling--Vasily the Vodka Breather. He spoke querulously in
-Russian to Ivan, who replied shortly, then Vasily turned and the three
-of them crowded up the narrow third flight to the pent-shack. This
-housed a small noisy machine, perhaps an aerator of some sort, for
-bubbles were streaming into the transparent pipe where it was connected
-to the machine; and under the pipe, sitting with an idiot smile on a
-chair of red plush and gilt, was a pale black-mustached man. An empty
-clear-glass bottle with a red and gold label lay on the floor at his
-feet. The opposite side of the room was hidden by a heavy plastic
-shower curtain. Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich was not in view.
-
-Ivan said something explosive, picking up the bottle and staring at
-it. "Vodka!" he went on. "I have told you not to mix the pipe and the
-vodka! Now see what you have done!"
-
-"To me it seemed hospitable," said Vasily with an apologetic gesture.
-"Besides, only one bottle--"
-
-Ducking under the pipe where it crossed the pent-shack, Ivan picked
-up the pale man and dumped him crosswise in the chair, with his
-patent-leather shoes sticking up on one side and his plump hands
-crossed over his chest. "Let him sleep. First we must take down all
-the apparatus, before the capitalistic police arrive. Now: what to do
-with this one?" He looked at Simon, and clenched one large and hairy
-fist.
-
-"_Nyet-nyet-nyet_," said the Vodka Breather, and went to whisper in
-Ivan's ear. They both stared at Simon, who felt uncomfortable and began
-to back toward the door; but Ivan ducked agilely under the pipe and
-grasped him by the arm, pulling him effortlessly toward the roof exit.
-"Just come this way if you please, Mr. Gru-_ay_," said Vasily, hurrying
-after. As they left the shack, he picked up a kitchen chair.
-
-Crossing the roof, Simon made a sudden effort and wrenched himself
-free. They caught him again at the edge of the roof, where he had
-run with nothing clearly in mind, but with his mouth open to yell.
-Suspended in the grip of the two Russians, with Ivan's meaty palm over
-his mouth, Simon had a momentary glimpse of the street below. A third
-bearded figure, Mikhail the Religious, was staring up at them from
-the sunny sidewalk. The melancholy face, the deep-socketed tormented
-eyes, and the narrow beard tangled with the dangling crucifix combined
-to give the effect of a Tolstoy novel's dust-jacket. As they hauled
-Simon away, he had the impression that a chilly breeze had sprung up
-and the street had darkened. In his ears was Mikhail's distant, oddly
-discordant whistling.
-
-Grunting, the two brothers set Simon down on the kitchen chair and slid
-him across the roof until something hard but resilient touched the top
-of his head. It was the plastic pipe, through which, peering upward, he
-could see myriads of tiny polliwog-shapes flitting back and forth.
-
-"Do us a kindness not to make noise," said Ivan, removing his palm. "My
-brother Vasily will now explain." He went away.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Curiosity as much as shock kept Simon in his chair. Vasily, bobbing
-his head and smiling, sat down tailor-fashion on the roof in front
-of him. "First I must tell you, Mr. Gru-_ay_, that I am specialist
-in biological sciences. Here you see results of my most successful
-experiment." He withdrew a round clear-glass bottle from his pocket and
-unscrewed the top.
-
-"Ah?" said Simon tentatively.
-
-"Indeed yes. In my researches, Mr. Gru-_ay_, I discovered a chemical
-which will inhibit growth at any level of embryonic development,
-producing a viable organism at that point. The basic effect of
-this chemical is always toward survival at whatever level of
-development--one cell, a blastula, a worm, a fish, a four-legger.
-This research, which Lysenko scoffed at when I told him of it, I had
-no trouble in keeping secret, though at the time I was working as the
-unhappy collaborator of the godless soviets. But perhaps I am being too
-technical?"
-
-"Not at all," Simon assured him.
-
-"Good," Vasily said with simple satisfaction and gulped at his bottle.
-"Meanwhile my brother Mikhail was a religious brother at a monastery
-near Mount Athos, my Nihilist brother Ivan was in central Europe,
-while my third brother Lev, who is of commercial talents, had preceded
-us to the New World, where we always felt it would some day be our
-destiny to join one another.
-
-"With the aid of brother Ivan, I and my sister Grushenka escaped from
-Russia. We picked up Mikhail from his monastery and proceeded here,
-where Lev had become a capitalist business magnate.
-
-"My brothers, Ivan especially, were interested in my research. He
-had a theory that we could eventually produce hosts of men in this
-way, whole armies and political parties, all Nihilist and all of them
-Stulnikov-Gureviches. I assured him that this was impossible, that I
-could not play Cadmus, for free-swimming forms are one thing, we have
-the way to feed them in the aqueous medium; but to make fully developed
-mammals placental nourishment is necessary--that I cannot provide. Yet
-to please him I begin with (pardon me!) the egg of my sister, that was
-as good a beginning as any and perhaps it intrigued my vanity. Ivan
-dreamed his dreams of a Nihilist Stulnikov-Gurevich humanity--it was
-harmless, as I told myself."
-
-Simon stared at him glassy-eyed. Something rather peculiar was
-beginning to happen inside his head--about an inch under the point
-where the cool water-filled plastic pipe pressed down on his scalp.
-Little ghostly images were darting--delightfully wispy little
-girl-things, smiling down at him impudently, then flirting away with a
-quick motion of their mermaid tails.
-
-The sky had been growing steadily darker and now there came the growl
-of thunder. Against the purple-gray clouds Simon could barely make out
-the semi-transparent shapes of the polliwogs in the pipe over his head;
-but the images inside his mind were growing clearer by the minute.
-
-"Ah, we have a storm," Vasily observed as the thunder growled again.
-"That reminds me of Mikhail, who is much influenced by our Finnish
-grandmother. He had the belief as a child that he could call up the
-winds by whistling for them--he even learned special wind musics from
-her. Later he became a Christian religious--there are great struggles
-in him. Mikhail objected to my researches when he heard I used the
-egg of my sister. He said we will produce millions of souls who are
-not baptized. I asked him how about the water they are in, he replied
-this is not the same thing, these little swimmers will wriggle in hell
-eternally. This worried him greatly. We tried to tell him I had not
-used the egg of my sister, only the egg of a fish.
-
-"But he did not believe this, because my sister changed greatly at
-the time. She no longer spoke. She put on my mother's bathing costume
-(we are a family people) and retired to the bathtub all day long. I
-accepted this--at least in the water she is not violent. Mikhail said,
-"See, her soul is now split into many unredeemed sub-souls, one each
-for the little swimmers. There is a sympathy between them--a hypnotic
-vibration. So long as you keep them near her, in that tank on the
-roof, this will be. If they were gone from there, far from there, the
-sub-souls would reunite and Grushenka's soul would be one again." He
-begged me to stop my research, to dump it in the sea, to scatter it
-away, but Lev and Ivan demand I keep on. Yet Mikhail warned me that
-works of evil end in the whirlwind. I am torn and undecided." He gulped
-at his vodka.
-
-Thunder growled louder. Simon was thinking, dreamily, that if the soul
-of Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich were split into thousands of sub-souls,
-vibrating hynotically in the nearby water tank, with at least one of
-them escaping as far as his bathtub, then it was no wonder if Grushenka
-had a strange attraction for him.
-
-"But that is not yet the worst," Vasily continued. "The hypnotic
-vibrations of the free-swimming ones in their multitude turn out to
-have a stimulating effect on any male who is near. Their sub-minds
-induce dreams of the piquant sort. Lev says that to make money for the
-work we must sell these dreams to rich men. I protest, but to no avail."
-
-"Lev is maddened for money. Now besides selling the dreams I find he
-plans to sell the creatures themselves, sell them one by one, but keep
-enough to sell the dreams too. It is a madness."
-
-The darkness had become that of night. The thunder continued to growl
-and now it seemed to Simon that it had music in it. Visions swam
-through his mind to its rhythm--hordes of swimming pygmy souls,
-of unborn water babies, migrations of miniature mermaids. The pipe
-hanging between water tank and pent-shack became in his imagination
-a giant umbilicus or a canal for a monstrous multiple birth. Sitting
-beneath it, helpless to move, he focused his attention with increasing
-pleasure on the active, supple, ever more human girl-bodies that swam
-across his mind. Now more mermaid than tadpole, with bright smiling
-lips and eyes, long Lorelei-hair trailing behind them, they darted and
-hovered caressingly. In their wide-cheeked oval faces, he discovered
-without shock, there was a transcendent resemblance to the features of
-Grushenka Stulnikov-Gurevich--a younger, milk-skinned maiden of the
-steppes, with challenging eyes and fingers that brushed against him
-with delightful shocks....
-
-"So it is for me the great problem," Vasily's distant voice
-continued. "I see in my work only the pure research, the play of
-the mind. Lev sees money, Ivan sees dragon teeth--fodder for his
-political cannon--Mikhail sees unshriven souls, Grushenka sees--who
-knows?--madness. It is indeed one great problem."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Thunder came again, crashingly this time. The door of the pent-shack
-opened. Framed in it stood Ivan the Bomber. "Vasily!" he roared. "Do
-you know what that idiot is doing now?"
-
-As the thunder and his voice trailed off together, Simon became aware
-at last of the identity of the other sound, which had been growing in
-volume all the time.
-
-Simultaneously Vasily struggled to his feet.
-
-"The organ!" he cried. "Mikhail is _playing_ the Whirlwind Music! We
-must stop him!" Pausing only for a last pull at the bottle, he charged
-into the pent-shack, following Ivan.
-
-Wind was shaking the heavy pipe over Simon's head, tossing him back and
-forth in the chair. Looking with an effort toward the west, Simon saw
-the reason: a spinning black pencil of wind that was writing its way
-toward them in wreckage across the intervening roofs.
-
-The chair fell under him. Stumbling across the roof, he tugged futilely
-at the door to the pent-shack, then threw himself flat, clawing at the
-tarpaper.
-
-There was a mounting roar. The top of the water tank went spinning off
-like a flying saucer. Momentarily, as if it were a giant syringe, the
-whirlwind dipped into the tank. Simon felt himself sliding across the
-roof, felt his legs lifting. He fetched up against the roof's low wall
-and at that moment the wind let go of him and his legs touched tarpaper
-again.
-
-Gaining his feet numbly, Simon staggered into the leaning pent-shack.
-The pale man was nowhere to be seen, the plush chair empty. The curtain
-at the other side of the room had fallen with its rods, revealing a
-bathtub more antique than Simon's. In the tub, under the window, sat
-Grushenka. The lightning flares showed her with her chin level with
-the water, her eyes placidly staring, her mouth opening and closing.
-
-Simon found himself putting his arms around the black-clad figure. With
-a straining effort he lifted her out of the tub, water sloshing all
-over his legs, and half carried, half slid with her down the stairs.
-
-He fetched up panting and disheveled at the top landing, his attention
-riveted by the lightning-illuminated scene in the two-story-high living
-room below. At the far end of it a dark-robed figure crouched at the
-console of the mighty organ, like a giant bat at the base of the
-portico of a black and gold temple. In the center of the room Ivan was
-in the act of heaving above his head his globular leather case.
-
-Mikhail darted a look over his shoulder and sprang to one side. The
-projectile crashed against the organ. Mikhail picked himself up,
-tearing something from his neck. Ivan lunged forward with a roar.
-Mikhail crashed a fist against his jaw. The Bomber went down and didn't
-come up. Mikhail unwrapped his crucifix from his fingers and resumed
-playing.
-
-With a wild cry Simon heaved himself to his feet, stumbled over
-Grushenka's sodden garments, and pitched headlong down the stairs.
-
-When he came to, the house was empty and the Stulnikov moving van
-was gone. At the front door he was met by a poker-faced young man
-who identified himself as a member of the FBI. Simon showed him the
-globular case Ivan had thrown at the organ. It proved to contain a
-bowling ball.
-
-The young gentleman listened to his story without changing expression,
-thanked him warmly, and shooed him out.
-
-The Stulnikov-Gureviches disappeared for good, though not quite without
-a trace. Simon found this item in the next evening's paper, the first
-of many he accumulated yearningly in a scrapbook during the following
-months:
-
- MERMAID RAIN A HOAX, SCIENTIST DECLARES
-
- _Milford, Pa._--The "mermaid rain" reported here has been
- declared a fraud by an eminent European biologist. Vasily
- Stulnikov-Gurevich, formerly Professor of Genetics at Pire
- University, Latvia, passing through here on a cross-country trip,
- declared the miniature "mermaids" were "albino tadpoles, probably
- scattered about as a hoax by schoolboys."
-
-The professor added, "I would like to know where they got them,
-however. There is clear evidence of mutation, due perhaps to fallout."
-
-Dr. Stulnikov directed his party in a brief but intensive search for
-overlooked specimens. His charming silent sister, Grushenka Stulnikov,
-wearing a quaint Latvian swimming costume, explored the shallows of the
-Delaware.
-
-After collecting as many specimens as possible, the professor and his
-assistants continued their trip in their unusual camping car. Dr.
-Stulnikov intends to found a biological research center "in the calm
-and tolerant atmosphere of the West Coast," he declared.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Pipe Dream, by Fritz Leiber
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