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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f5833b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60649 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60649) diff --git a/old/60649-h.zip b/old/60649-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index c55d652..0000000 --- a/old/60649-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60649-h/60649-h.htm b/old/60649-h/60649-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 6b31e52..0000000 --- a/old/60649-h/60649-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,622 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of In the Jag-whiffing Service, by David R. Bunch. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of In the Jag-Whiffing Service, by David R. Bunch - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: In the Jag-Whiffing Service - -Author: David R. Bunch - -Release Date: November 8, 2019 [EBook #60649] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="344" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE</h1> - -<h2>BY DAVID R. BUNCH</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>The jag-stuff in those black rings was<br /> -wonderful, but why did they have to package<br /> -it with so many extra accessories?</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>I had always said there was an easier way. And I think, when we invade, -I'll be proved right. But you know how things get started, and how -powerful tradition can be and how old-line thinking can keep people, -even a whole planet, in a rut.</p> - -<p>The big cargo saucers were getting bigger and bigger each year, what -with the growing popularity of the jag-whiff places, and the jag-whiff -places themselves were growing in number with more and more people -going "on the jag" because—well, partly because—of troubles in the -sky, like strange balls whirling around and unexplainable objects -going <i>beep</i> and <i>wuff</i> and <i>wuff wuff</i>. We of the saucers had slipped -past these first baby objects O.K. and knew they were just little -old harmless ping-pongs that chattered a little now and then like -a greeting going past. But tell the people that! They'd throw a big -glass on one of the whirlers and see spikes sticking out and maybe -a big pair of eyes inside and a nose and a long red tongue hanging -down. "The Earthits!" they'd scream like they'd just fallen into -one of the hot canals, and they'd race off to a jag-whiff jag like -Judgment-Day-of-Sins itself was after them. And the funny part of it -is, I guess the people were right being scared like that, the way -things turned out.</p> - -<p>But is it any wonder we were having to increase the size of the saucers -to space-haul all that jag-whiff up through the rattleballs? And a big -reason makes me think it could have been done more efficiently, we were -having to take so much junk stuff, extra accessories I guess you'd -call it, to get the jag-whiff. Our Earthit contacts were always giving -us the old breeze about cost of labor, cost of materials, improvement -in design and next year's inventories. Apparently the dealers didn't -understand at all what the play was with us because they'd give us -so much blab-blab that didn't apply, all about futuristic design and -about how one jag-whiffer machine had it all over another jag-whiffer -machine, which to us didn't mean a thing. And we didn't talk, because -we'd heard already how some Earthits feared the saucers, and how some -Earthits said they didn't exist at all, and how some other Earthits -were on the fence, saying maybe they did maybe they didn't so what? and -how there was wide fear and great unrest among the Earthits in general. -And when it's like that, and you're a possible source of the wide fear -and unrest, a whole planet full of people can easily decide they don't -want any part of contributing to your pleasure.</p> - -<p>And that's what the jag-whiff was to us actually, pleasure. Back home -when our troubles had us down, or maybe we just felt like raising -a little dust, we'd go to a jag-whiff place. We'd plunk down our -pay-pictures, and the whiff-tender would wheel out one of those black -rings, which they have to keep under special pressures in our climate. -Then he'd screw on the tube with the face piece and we'd take our -whiff and something out of the black ring—just seemed like real thick -chest filler to me—would spread all through to the farthest reaches -of our breath bags and go into our blood and suddenly all five of our -eye sticks would start whirling and focusing and zeroing-in for dames -and our arms and legs would start a kick and a slap dance, enough to -shake the planet down. And when our face spines and head tubes would go -into that special sharp buzz of contentment, we'd know we were on our -jag, full and warm and happy with as much pleasure as any Martian is -ever supposed to know. But we never revealed the play to our Earthit -contacts, just slipped in at night in our noiseless saucers with all -lights dimmed, cleared our cargo tubes of the tons of pay-picture we'd -brought (green copy of the Earthits' currency) and took on as many of -the gleaming jag-whiffer machines as our cargo tubes would hold.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>But it is ten years now since a jag-whiffer captain has steered his -saucer through the whirling balls. It got so the satellites would drum -on the saucer from a long way out. Deafening! Dreadful! We saw what -was coming and we tried to beat it. We saucered around the clock for a -while trying to stockpile enough jag-whiff to last us. But of course -we couldn't. We are about out of it now, and our land is strewn with -the glittery shells that were once attached to the black tubes of the -jag-whiff.</p> - -<p>And it could all have been done so different. I'm sure it could. That -stuff wasn't just in the tubes of the jag-whiffer machines down there, -I'm convinced of that. That stuff may have been all around us down -there. I believe it was. But our government would insist we get into -these suits, about so far out, you see, about the time we'd start -contacting the rattle balls. And they threatened us with removal of the -contacts if we broke the rules about the suits. In addition to that, -they said we'd die anyway. So you see how life can be—grim and fuzzy -and unsafe most of the time. And to make things even more uncertain, -just because they couldn't duplicate the product we were hauling, our -scientists got uppity and ignored the whole problem. Except to run off -to the jag-whiff places of course to ease their frustrations, which -they did plenty often when they thought they wouldn't be seen.</p> - -<p>But when we invade down through there, which we plan to do soon now, -with our special equipment to catch and explode the whirlyballs, I -think we're going to find out plenty. Among other things, I think we're -going to find out that the stuff we cargoed up here at such great cost, -that was so inefficiently packaged, is all around us down there. I -think when we take over down there, with the right filtering equipment, -jag-whiffing may become as common and economical as breathing. And -another thing, I think we're going to find out we were taken for quite -a ride by the Earthits with their silly way of packaging jag-whiff. -Imagine having to buy all that chrome and steel, guaranteed to go over -one hundred miles per hour, just to get four little black rings of -whiff. And for all the Earthits talked about it, the rings with the -white sidewalls didn't whiff one bit better than the others!</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's In the Jag-Whiffing Service, by David R. Bunch - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE *** - -***** This file should be named 60649-h.htm or 60649-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/6/4/60649/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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Bunch - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: In the Jag-Whiffing Service - -Author: David R. Bunch - -Release Date: November 8, 2019 [EBook #60649] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE - - BY DAVID R. BUNCH - - _The jag-stuff in those black rings was - wonderful, but why did they have to package - it with so many extra accessories?_ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -I had always said there was an easier way. And I think, when we invade, -I'll be proved right. But you know how things get started, and how -powerful tradition can be and how old-line thinking can keep people, -even a whole planet, in a rut. - -The big cargo saucers were getting bigger and bigger each year, what -with the growing popularity of the jag-whiff places, and the jag-whiff -places themselves were growing in number with more and more people -going "on the jag" because--well, partly because--of troubles in the -sky, like strange balls whirling around and unexplainable objects -going _beep_ and _wuff_ and _wuff wuff_. We of the saucers had slipped -past these first baby objects O.K. and knew they were just little -old harmless ping-pongs that chattered a little now and then like -a greeting going past. But tell the people that! They'd throw a big -glass on one of the whirlers and see spikes sticking out and maybe -a big pair of eyes inside and a nose and a long red tongue hanging -down. "The Earthits!" they'd scream like they'd just fallen into -one of the hot canals, and they'd race off to a jag-whiff jag like -Judgment-Day-of-Sins itself was after them. And the funny part of it -is, I guess the people were right being scared like that, the way -things turned out. - -But is it any wonder we were having to increase the size of the saucers -to space-haul all that jag-whiff up through the rattleballs? And a big -reason makes me think it could have been done more efficiently, we were -having to take so much junk stuff, extra accessories I guess you'd -call it, to get the jag-whiff. Our Earthit contacts were always giving -us the old breeze about cost of labor, cost of materials, improvement -in design and next year's inventories. Apparently the dealers didn't -understand at all what the play was with us because they'd give us -so much blab-blab that didn't apply, all about futuristic design and -about how one jag-whiffer machine had it all over another jag-whiffer -machine, which to us didn't mean a thing. And we didn't talk, because -we'd heard already how some Earthits feared the saucers, and how some -Earthits said they didn't exist at all, and how some other Earthits -were on the fence, saying maybe they did maybe they didn't so what? and -how there was wide fear and great unrest among the Earthits in general. -And when it's like that, and you're a possible source of the wide fear -and unrest, a whole planet full of people can easily decide they don't -want any part of contributing to your pleasure. - -And that's what the jag-whiff was to us actually, pleasure. Back home -when our troubles had us down, or maybe we just felt like raising -a little dust, we'd go to a jag-whiff place. We'd plunk down our -pay-pictures, and the whiff-tender would wheel out one of those black -rings, which they have to keep under special pressures in our climate. -Then he'd screw on the tube with the face piece and we'd take our -whiff and something out of the black ring--just seemed like real thick -chest filler to me--would spread all through to the farthest reaches -of our breath bags and go into our blood and suddenly all five of our -eye sticks would start whirling and focusing and zeroing-in for dames -and our arms and legs would start a kick and a slap dance, enough to -shake the planet down. And when our face spines and head tubes would go -into that special sharp buzz of contentment, we'd know we were on our -jag, full and warm and happy with as much pleasure as any Martian is -ever supposed to know. But we never revealed the play to our Earthit -contacts, just slipped in at night in our noiseless saucers with all -lights dimmed, cleared our cargo tubes of the tons of pay-picture we'd -brought (green copy of the Earthits' currency) and took on as many of -the gleaming jag-whiffer machines as our cargo tubes would hold. - - * * * * * - -But it is ten years now since a jag-whiffer captain has steered his -saucer through the whirling balls. It got so the satellites would drum -on the saucer from a long way out. Deafening! Dreadful! We saw what -was coming and we tried to beat it. We saucered around the clock for a -while trying to stockpile enough jag-whiff to last us. But of course -we couldn't. We are about out of it now, and our land is strewn with -the glittery shells that were once attached to the black tubes of the -jag-whiff. - -And it could all have been done so different. I'm sure it could. That -stuff wasn't just in the tubes of the jag-whiffer machines down there, -I'm convinced of that. That stuff may have been all around us down -there. I believe it was. But our government would insist we get into -these suits, about so far out, you see, about the time we'd start -contacting the rattle balls. And they threatened us with removal of the -contacts if we broke the rules about the suits. In addition to that, -they said we'd die anyway. So you see how life can be--grim and fuzzy -and unsafe most of the time. And to make things even more uncertain, -just because they couldn't duplicate the product we were hauling, our -scientists got uppity and ignored the whole problem. Except to run off -to the jag-whiff places of course to ease their frustrations, which -they did plenty often when they thought they wouldn't be seen. - -But when we invade down through there, which we plan to do soon now, -with our special equipment to catch and explode the whirlyballs, I -think we're going to find out plenty. Among other things, I think we're -going to find out that the stuff we cargoed up here at such great cost, -that was so inefficiently packaged, is all around us down there. I -think when we take over down there, with the right filtering equipment, -jag-whiffing may become as common and economical as breathing. And -another thing, I think we're going to find out we were taken for quite -a ride by the Earthits with their silly way of packaging jag-whiff. -Imagine having to buy all that chrome and steel, guaranteed to go over -one hundred miles per hour, just to get four little black rings of -whiff. And for all the Earthits talked about it, the rings with the -white sidewalls didn't whiff one bit better than the others! - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's In the Jag-Whiffing Service, by David R. Bunch - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE JAG-WHIFFING SERVICE *** - -***** This file should be named 60649.txt or 60649.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/6/4/60649/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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