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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Wind People, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Wind People
-
-Author: Marion Zimmer Bradley
-
-Release Date: November 7, 2019 [EBook #60640]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WIND PEOPLE ***
-
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-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="344" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>THE WIND PEOPLE</h1>
-
-<h2>BY MARION ZIMMER BRADLEY</h2>
-
-<p class="ph1"><i>Inhabited only by whispering winds,<br />
-Robin's World was a paradise for the<br />
-wrong two people&mdash;Eve and her son....</i></p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>It had been a long layover for the <i>Starholm's</i> crew, hunting heavy
-elements for fuel&mdash;eight months, on an idyllic green paradise of a
-planet; a soft, windy, whispering world, inhabited only by trees and
-winds. But in the end it presented its own unique problem.</p>
-
-<p>Specifically, it presented Captain Merrihew with the problem of Robin,
-male, father unknown, who had been born the day before, and a month
-prematurely, to Dr. Helen Murray.</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew found her lying abed in the laboratory shelter, pale and calm,
-with the child beside her.</p>
-
-<p>The little shelter, constructed roughly of green planks, looked out
-on the clearing which the <i>Starholm</i> had used as a base of operations
-during the layover; a beautiful place at the bottom of a wide valley,
-in the curve of a broad, deep-flowing river. The crew, tired of being
-shipbound, had built half a dozen such huts and shacks in these eight
-months.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="468" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Merrihew glared down at Helen. He snorted, "This is a fine situation.
-You, of all the people in the whole damned crew&mdash;the ship's doctor!
-It's&mdash;it's&mdash;" Inarticulate with rage, he fell back on a ridiculously
-inadequate phrase. "It's&mdash;criminal carelessness!"</p>
-
-<p>"I know." Helen Murray, too young and far too lovely for a ship's
-officer on a ten-year cruise, still looked weak and white, and her
-voice was a gentle shadow of its crisp self. "I'm afraid four years in
-space made me careless."</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew brooded, looking down at her. Something about ship-gravity
-conditions, while not affecting potency, made conception impossible; no
-child had ever been conceived in space and none ever would. On planet
-layovers, the effect wore off very slowly; only after three months
-aground had Dr. Murray started routine administration of anticeptin to
-the twenty-two women of the crew, herself included. At that time she
-had been still unaware that she herself was already carrying a child.</p>
-
-<p>Outside, the leafy forest whispered and rustled, and Merrihew knew
-Helen had forgotten his existence again. The day-old child was tucked
-up in one of her rolled coveralls at her side. To Merrihew, he looked
-like a skinned monkey, but Helen's eyes smoldered as her hands moved
-gently over the tiny round head.</p>
-
-<p>He stood and listened to the winds and said at random, "These shacks
-will fall to pieces in another month. It doesn't matter, we'll have
-taken off by then."</p>
-
-<p>Dr. Chao Lin came into the shack, an angular woman of thirty-five. She
-said, "Company, Helen? Well, it's about time. Here, let me take Robin."</p>
-
-<p>Helen said in weak protest, "You're spoiling me, Lin."</p>
-
-<p>"It will do you good," Chao Lin returned. Merrihew, in a sudden surge
-of fury and frustration, exploded, "Damn it, Lin, you're making it all
-worse. He'll die when we go into overdrive, you know as well as I do!"</p>
-
-<p>Helen sat up, clutching Robin protectively. "Are you proposing to drown
-him like a kitten?"</p>
-
-<p>"Helen, I'm not proposing anything. I'm stating a fact."</p>
-
-<p>"But it's not a fact. He won't die in overdrive because he won't be
-aboard when we go into overdrive!"</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew looked at Lin helplessly, but his face softened. "Shall
-we&mdash;put him to sleep and bury him here?"</p>
-
-<p>The woman's face turned white. "No!" she cried in passionate protest,
-and Lin bent to disengage her frantic grip. "Helen, you'll hurt him.
-Put him down. There."</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew looked down at her, troubled, and said, "We can't just abandon
-him to die slowly, Helen&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Who says I'm going to abandon him?"</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew asked slowly, "Are you planning to desert?" He added, after a
-minute, "There's a chance he'll survive. After all, his very birth was
-against all medical precedent. Maybe&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Captain&mdash;" Helen sounded desperate. "Even drugged, no child under
-ten has ever endured the shift into hyperspace drive. A newborn would
-die in seconds." She clasped Robin to her again, and said, "It's the
-only way&mdash;you have Lin for a doctor, Reynolds can handle my collateral
-duties. This planet is uninhabited, the climate is mild, we couldn't
-possibly starve." Her face, so gentle, was suddenly like rock. "Enter
-my death in the log, if you want to."</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew looked from Helen to Lin, and said, "Helen, you're insane!"</p>
-
-<p>She said, "Even if I'm sane now, I wouldn't be long if I had to
-abandon Robin." The wild note had died out of her voice, and she spoke
-rationally, but inflexibly. "Captain Merrihew, to get me aboard the
-<i>Starholm</i>, you will have to have me drugged or taken by force; I
-promise you I won't go any other way. And if you do that&mdash;and if Robin
-is left behind, or dies in overdrive&mdash;just so you will have my services
-as a doctor&mdash;then I solemnly swear that I will kill myself at the first
-opportunity."</p>
-
-<p>"My God," said Merrihew, "you <i>are</i> insane!"</p>
-
-<p>Helen gave a very tiny shrug. "Do you want a madwoman aboard?"</p>
-
-<p>Chao Lin said quietly, "Captain, I don't see any other way. We
-would have had to arrange it that way if Helen had actually died in
-childbirth. Of two unsatisfactory solutions, we must choose the least
-harmful." And Merrihew knew that he had no real choice.</p>
-
-<p>"I still think you're both crazy," he blustered, but it was surrender,
-and Helen knew it.</p>
-
-<p>Ten days after the <i>Starholm</i> took off, young Colin Reynolds,
-technician, committed suicide by the messy procedure of slicing his
-jugular artery, which&mdash;in zero gravity&mdash;distributed several quarts of
-blood in big round globules all over his cabin. He left an incoherent
-note.</p>
-
-<p>Merrihew put the note in the disposal and Chao Lin put the blood in the
-ship's blood-bank for surgery, and they hushed it up as an accident;
-but Merrihew had the unpleasant feeling that the layover on the green
-and windy planet was going to become a legend, spread in whispers by
-the crew. And it did, but that is another story.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Robin was two years old when he first heard the voices in the wind. He
-pulled at his mother's arm and crooned softly, in imitation.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it, lovey?"</p>
-
-<p>"Pretty." He crooned again to the distant murmuring sound.</p>
-
-<p>Helen smiled vaguely and patted the round cheek. Robin, his infant
-imagination suddenly distracted, said, "Hungry. Robin hungry. Berries."</p>
-
-<p>"Berries after you eat," Helen promised absently, and picked him up.
-Robin tugged at her arm.</p>
-
-<p>"Mommy pretty, too!"</p>
-
-<p>She laughed, a rosy and smiling young Diana. She was happy on the
-solitary planet; they lived quite comfortably in one of the larger
-shacks, and only a little frown-line between her eyes bore witness
-to the terror which had closed down on her in the first months, when
-every new day had been some new struggle&mdash;against weakness, against
-unfamiliar sounds, against loneliness and dread. Nights when she lay
-wakeful, sweating with terror while the winds rose and fell again
-and her imagination gave them voices, bleak days when she wandered
-dazedly around the shack or stared moodily at Robin. There had
-been moments&mdash;only fleeting, and penanced with hours of shame and
-regret&mdash;when she thought that even the horror of losing Robin in those
-first days would have been less than the horror of spending the rest
-of her life alone here; when she had wondered why Merrihew had not
-realized that she was unbalanced, and forced her to go with them ... by
-now, Robin would have been only a moment's painful memory.</p>
-
-<p>Still not strong, knowing she had to be strong for Robin or he would
-die as surely as if she had abandoned him, she had spent the first
-months in a somnambulistic dream. Sometimes she had walked for days
-at a time in that dream; she would wake to find food that she could
-not remember gathering. Somehow, pervasive, the dream-voices had taken
-over; the whispering winds had been full of voices and even hands.</p>
-
-<p>She had fallen ill and lain for days sick and delirious, and had
-heard a voice which hardly seemed to be her own, saying that if she
-died the wind voices would care for Robin ... and then the shock and
-irrationality of that had startled her out of delirium, agonized and
-trembling, and she pulled herself upright and cried out "No!"</p>
-
-<p>And the shimmer of eyes and voices had faded again into vague echoes,
-until there was only the stir of sunlight on the leaves, and Robin,
-chubby and naked, kicking in the sunlight, cooing with his hands
-outstretched to the rustle of leaves and shadows.</p>
-
-<p>She had known, then, that she had to get well. She had never heard the
-wind voices again, and her crisp, scientific mind rejected the fanciful
-theory that if she only believed in the wind voices she would see their
-forms and hear their words clearly. And she rejected them so thoroughly
-that when she heard them speak she shut them away from her mind, and
-after a time heard them no longer, except in restless dreams.</p>
-
-<p>By now she had accepted the isolation and the beauty of their world,
-and begun to make a happy life for Robin.</p>
-
-<p>For lack of other occupation last summer&mdash;though the winter was
-mild and there was no lack of fruits and roots even then&mdash;Helen had
-patiently snared male and female of small animals like rabbits, and
-now she had a pen of them. They provided a change of diet, and after
-a few smelly unsuccessful experiments she had devised a way to supple
-their fur pelts. She made no effort at gardening, though when Robin was
-older she might try that. For the moment, it was enough that they were
-healthy and safe and protected.</p>
-
-<p>... Robin was <i>listening</i> again. Helen bent her ear, sharpened by the
-silence, but heard only the rustle of wind and leaves; saw only falling
-brightness along a silvered tree-trunk.</p>
-
-<p>Wind? When there were no branches stirring?</p>
-
-<p>"Ridiculous," she said sharply, then snatched up the baby boy and
-squeezed him before hoisting him astride her hip. "Mommy doesn't mean
-<i>you</i>, Robin. Let's look for berries."</p>
-
-<p>But soon she realized that his head was tipped back and that he was
-listening, again, to some sound she could not hear.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>On what she said was Robin's fifth birthday, Helen had made a special
-bed for him in another room of the building. He missed the warmth of
-Helen's body, and the comforting sound of her breathing; for Robin,
-since birth, had been a wakeful child.</p>
-
-<p>Yet, on the first night alone, Robin felt curiously freed. He did
-something he had never dared do before, for fear of waking Helen; he
-slipped from his bed and stood in the doorway, looking into the forest.</p>
-
-<p>The forest was closer to the doorway now; Robin could fuzzily remember
-when the clearing had been wider. Now, slowly, beyond the garden patch
-which Helen kept cleared, the underbrush and saplings were growing
-back, and even what Robin called "the burned place" was covered with
-new sparse grass.</p>
-
-<p>Robin was accustomed to being alone, during the day&mdash;even in his first
-year, Helen had had to leave him alone, securely fastened in the house,
-or inside a little tight-fenced yard. But he was not used to being
-alone at night.</p>
-
-<p>Far off in the forest, he could hear the whispers of the other people.
-Helen said there were no other people, but Robin knew better, because
-he could hear their voices on the wind, like fragments of the songs
-Helen sang at bedtime. And sometimes he could almost see them in the
-shadowy spots.</p>
-
-<p>Once when Helen had been sick, a long time ago, and Robin had run
-helplessly from the fenced yard to the inside room and back again,
-hungry and dirty and furious because Helen only slept on the bed with
-her eyes closed, rousing up now and then to whimper like he did when
-he fell down and skinned his knee, the winds and voices had come into
-the very house; Robin had hazy memories of soothing voices, of hands
-that touched him more softly than Helen's hands. But he could not quite
-remember.</p>
-
-<p>Now that he could hear them so clearly, he would go and find the other
-people. And then if Helen was sick again, there would be someone else
-to play with him and look after him. He thought gleefully, <i>won't Helen
-be surprised</i>, and darted off across the clearing.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Helen woke, roused not by a sound but by a silence. She no longer heard
-Robin's soft breaths from the alcove, and after a moment she realized
-something else:</p>
-
-<p>The winds were silent.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps, she thought, a storm was coming. Some change in air pressure
-could cause this stillness&mdash;but Robin? She tiptoed to the alcove; as
-she had suspected, his bed was empty.</p>
-
-<p>Where could he be? In the clearing? With a storm coming? She slid her
-feet into hand-made sandals and ran outside, her quivering call ringing
-out through the silent forest:</p>
-
-<p>"Robin&mdash;oh, Robin!"</p>
-
-<p>Silence. And far away a little ominous whisper. And for the first
-time, since that first frightening year of loneliness, she felt lost,
-deserted in an alien world. She ran across the clearing, looking around
-wildly, trying to decide which way he could have wandered. Into the
-forest? What if he had strayed toward the river bank? There was a place
-where the bank crumbled away, down toward the rapids&mdash;her throat closed
-convulsively, and her call was almost a shriek:</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Robin! Robin, darling! Robin!"</p>
-
-<p>She ran through the paths worn by their feet, hearing snatches of
-rustle, winds and leaves suddenly vocal in the cold moonlight around
-her. It was the first time since the spaceship left them that Helen had
-ventured out into the night of their world. She called again, her voice
-cracking in panic.</p>
-
-<p>"Ro-bin!"</p>
-
-<p>A sudden stray gleam revealed a glint of white, and a child stood in
-the middle of the path. Helen gasped with relief and ran to snatch up
-her son&mdash;then fell back in dismay. It was not Robin who stood there.
-The child was naked, about a head shorter than Robin, and female.</p>
-
-<p>There was something curious about the bare and gleaming flesh, as if
-she could see the child only in the full flush of the moonlight. A
-round, almost expressionless face was surrounded by a mass of colorless
-streaming hair, the exact color of the moonlight. Helen's audible gasp
-startled her to a stop: she shut her eyes convulsively, and when she
-opened them the path was black and empty and Robin was running down the
-track toward her.</p>
-
-<p>Helen caught him up, with a strangled cry, and ran, clasping him to her
-breast, back down the path to their shack. Inside, she barred the door
-and laid Robin down in her own bed, and threw herself down shivering,
-too shaken to speak, too shaken to scold him, curiously afraid to
-question. I had a hallucination, she told herself, a hallucination,
-another dream, a dream....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A dream, like the other Dream. She dignified it to herself as The
-Dream, because it was not like any other dream she had ever had. She
-had dreamed it first before Robin's birth, and been ashamed to speak of
-it to Chao Lin, fearing the common-sense skepticism of the older woman.</p>
-
-<p>On their tenth night on the green planet (the <i>Starholm</i> was a dim
-recollection now) when Merrihew's scientists had been convinced that
-the little world was safe, without wild beasts or diseases or savage
-natives, the crew had requested permission to camp in the valley
-clearing beside the river. Permission granted, they had gone apart in
-couples almost as usual, and even those who had no enduring liaison at
-the moment had found a partner for the night.</p>
-
-<p><i>It must have been that night....</i></p>
-
-<p>Colin Reynolds was two years younger than Helen, and their attachment,
-enduring over a few months of shiptime, was based less on mutual
-passion than a sort of boyish need in him, a sort of impersonal
-feminine solicitude in Helen. All her affairs had been like that,
-companionable, comfortable, but never passionate. Curiously enough,
-Helen was a woman capable of passion, of great depths of devotion; but
-no man had ever roused it and now no man ever would. Only Robin's birth
-had touched her deeply-pent emotions.</p>
-
-<p>But that night, when Colin Reynolds was sleeping, Helen stayed
-restlessly awake, hearing the unquiet stirring of wind on the leaves.
-After a time she wandered down to the water's edge, staying a cautious
-distance from the shore&mdash;for the cliff crumbled dangerously&mdash;and
-stretched herself out to listen to the wind-voices. And after a time
-she fell asleep, and had The Dream, which was to return to her again
-and again.</p>
-
-<p>Helen thought of herself as a scientist, without room for fantasies,
-and that was why she called it, fiercely, a dream; a dream born of some
-undiagnosed conflict in her. Even to herself Helen would not recall it
-in full.</p>
-
-<p>There had been a man, and to her it seemed that he was part of the
-green and windy world, and he had found her sleeping by the river. Even
-in her drowsy state, Helen had suspected that perhaps one of the other
-crew members, like herself sleepless and drawn to the shining water,
-had happened upon her there; such things were not impossible, manners
-and mores being what they were among starship crews.</p>
-
-<p>But to her, half-dreaming, there had been some strangeness about him,
-which prevented her from seeing him too clearly even in the brilliant
-green moonlight. No dream and no man had ever seemed so living to her;
-and it was her fierce rationalization of the dream which kept her
-silent, months later, when she discovered (to her horror and secret
-despair) that she was with child. She had felt that she would lose the
-haze and secret delight of the dream, if she openly acknowledged that
-Colin had fathered her child.</p>
-
-<p>But at first&mdash;in the cool green morning that followed&mdash;she had not been
-at all sure it was a dream. Seeing only sunlight and leaves, she had
-held back from speaking, not wanting ridicule; could she have asked
-each man of the <i>Starholm</i>, Was it you who came to me last night?
-Because if it was not, there are other men on this world, men who
-cannot be clearly seen even by moonlight&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>Severely she reminded herself, Merrihew's men had pronounced the world
-uninhabited, and uninhabited it must be. Five years later, hugging
-her sleeping son close, Helen remembered the dream, examined the
-content of her fantasy, and once again, shivering, repeated, "I had a
-hallucination. It was only a dream. A dream, because I was alone...."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>When Robin was fourteen years old, Helen told him the story of his
-birth, and of the ship.</p>
-
-<p>He was a tall, silent boy, strong and hardy but not talkative; he
-heard the story almost in silence, and looked at Helen for a long time
-in silence, afterward. He finally said in a whisper, "You could have
-died&mdash;you gave up a lot for me, Helen, didn't you?" He knelt and took
-her face in his hands. She smiled, and drew a little away from him.</p>
-
-<p>"Why are you looking at me like that, Robin?"</p>
-
-<p>The boy could not put instant words to his thoughts; emotions were not
-in his vocabulary. Helen had taught him everything she knew, but she
-had always concealed her feelings from her son. He asked at last, "Why
-didn't my father stay with you?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't suppose it entered his head," Helen said. "He was needed on
-the ship. Losing me was bad enough."</p>
-
-<p>Robin said passionately, "I'd have stayed!"</p>
-
-<p>The woman found herself laughing. "Well&mdash;you did stay, Robin."</p>
-
-<p>He asked, "Am I like my father?"</p>
-
-<p>Helen looked gravely at her son, trying to see the half-forgotten
-features of young Reynolds in the boy's face. No, Robin did not look
-like Colin Reynolds, nor like Helen herself. She picked up his hand
-in hers; despite his robust health, Robin never tanned; his skin was
-pearly pale, so that in the green sunlight it blended into the forest
-almost invisibly. His hand lay in Helen's palm like a shadow. She
-said at last, "No, nothing like him. But under this sun, that's to be
-expected."</p>
-
-<p>Robin said confidently, "I'm like the <i>other</i> people."</p>
-
-<p>"The ones on the ship? They&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"No," Robin interrupted, "you always said, when I was older you'd tell
-me about the other people. I mean the other people <i>here</i>. The ones in
-the woods. The ones you can't see."</p>
-
-<p>Helen stared at the boy in blank disbelief. "What do you mean? There
-are no other people, just us." Then she recalled that every imaginative
-child invents playmates. <i>Alone</i>, she thought, <i>Robin's always alone,
-no other children, no wonder he's a little&mdash;strange.</i> She said,
-quietly, "You dreamed it, Robin."</p>
-
-<p>The boy only stared at her, in bleak, blank alienation. "You mean," he
-said, "you can't <i>hear</i> them either?" He got up and walked out of the
-hut. Helen called, but he didn't turn back. She ran after him, catching
-at his arm, stopping him almost by force. She whispered, "Robin, Robin,
-tell me what you mean! There isn't anyone here. Once or twice I thought
-I had seen&mdash;something, by moonlight, only it was a dream. Please,
-Robin&mdash;please&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"If it's only a dream, why are you frightened?" Robin asked, through a
-curious constriction in his throat. "If they've never hurt you&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>No, they had never hurt her. Even if, in her long-ago dream, one of
-them had come to her&mdash;<i>and the sons of God saw the daughters of men
-that they were fair</i>&mdash;a scrap of memory from a vanished life on another
-world sang in Helen's thoughts. She looked up at the pale, impatient
-face of her son, and swallowed hard.</p>
-
-<p>Her voice was husky when she spoke.</p>
-
-<p>"Did I ever tell you about rationalization&mdash;when you want something to
-be true so much that you can make it sound right to yourself?"</p>
-
-<p>"Couldn't that also happen to something you wanted <i>not</i> to be true?"
-Robin retorted with a mutinous curl of his mouth.</p>
-
-<p>Helen would not let go his arm. She begged, "Robin&mdash;no, you'll only
-waste your life and break your heart looking for something that doesn't
-exist&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>The boy looked down into her shaken face, and suddenly a new emotion
-welled up in him and he dropped to his knees beside her and buried his
-face against her breast. He whispered, "Helen, I'll never leave you,
-I'll never do anything you don't want me to do, I don't want anyone but
-you&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>And for the first time in many years, Helen broke into wild and
-uncontrollable crying, without knowing why she wept.</p>
-
-<p>Robin did not speak again of his quest in the forest. For many months
-he was quiet and subdued, staying near the clearing, hovering near
-Helen for days at a time, then disappearing into the forest at dusk. He
-heard the winds numbly, deaf to their promise and their call.</p>
-
-<p>Helen too was quiet and withdrawn, feeling Robin's alienation through
-his submissive mood. She found herself speaking to him sharply for
-being always under foot; yet, on the rare days when he vanished into
-the forest and did not return until after sunset, she felt a restless
-unease that set her wandering the paths herself, not following him, but
-simply uneasy unless she knew he was within call.</p>
-
-<p>Once, in the shadows just before sunset, she thought she saw a man
-moving through the trees, and for an instant, as he turned toward her,
-she saw that he was naked. She had seen him only for a second or two,
-and after he had slipped between the shadows again, common sense told
-her it was Robin. She was vaguely shocked and annoyed; she firmly
-intended to speak to him, perhaps to scold him for running about naked
-and slipping away like that; then, in a sort of remote embarrassment,
-she fore-bore to mention it. But after that, she kept out of the forest.</p>
-
-<p>Robin had been vaguely aware of her surveillance and knew when it
-ceased. But he did not give up his own pointless rambles, although
-even to himself he no longer spoke of searching, or of any dreamlike
-inhabitants of the woods. At times it still seemed that some shadow
-concealed a half-seen form, and the distant murmur grew into a voice
-that mocked him; a white arm, the shadow of a face, until he lifted his
-head and stared straight at it.</p>
-
-<p>One evening toward twilight he saw a sudden shimmer in the trees,
-and he stood, fixedly, as the stray glint resolved itself first into
-a white face with shadowy eyes, then into a translucent flicker of
-bare arms, and then into the form of a woman, arrested for an instant
-with her hand on the bole of a tree. In the shadowy spot, filled only
-with the last ray of a cloudy sunset, she was very clear; not cloudy
-or unreal, but so distinct that he could see even a small smudge or
-bramble-scratch on her shoulder, and a fallen leaf tangled in her
-colorless hair. Robin, paralyzed, watched her pause, and turn, and
-smile, and then she melted into the shadows.</p>
-
-<p>He stood with his heart pounding for a second after she had gone; then
-whirled, bursting with the excitement of his discovery, and ran down
-the path toward home. Suddenly he stopped short, the world tilting and
-reeling, and fell on his face in a bed of dry leaves.</p>
-
-<p>He was still ignorant of the nature of the emotion in him. He felt only
-intolerable misery and the conviction that he must never, never speak
-to Helen of what he had seen or felt.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He lay there, his burning face pressed into the leaves, unaware of the
-rising wind, the little flurry of blown leaves, the growing darkness
-and distant thunder. At last an icy spatter of rain aroused him, and
-cold, numbed, he made his way slowly homeward. Over his head the boughs
-creaked woodenly, and Robin, under the driving whips of the rain, felt
-their tumult only echoed his own voiceless agony.</p>
-
-<p>He was drenched by the time he pushed the door of the shack open, and
-stumbled blindly toward the fire, only hoping that Helen would be
-sleeping. But she started up from beside the hearth they had built
-together last summer.</p>
-
-<p>"Robin?"</p>
-
-<p>Deathly weary, the boy snapped, "Who <i>else</i> would it be?"</p>
-
-<p>Helen didn't answer. She came to him, a small swift-moving figure in
-the firelight, and drew him into the warmth. She said, almost humbly,
-"I was afraid&mdash;the storm&mdash;Robin, you're all wet, come to the fire and
-dry out."</p>
-
-<p>Robin yielded, his twitching nerves partly soothed by her voice. <i>How
-tiny Helen is</i>, he thought, <i>and I can remember that she used to carry
-me around on one arm. Now she hardly comes to my shoulder.</i> She brought
-him food and he ate wolfishly, listening to the steady pouring rain,
-uncomfortable under Helen's watching eyes. Before his own eyes there
-was the clear memory of the woman in the wood, and so vivid was Robin's
-imagination, heightened by loneliness and undiluted by any random
-impressions, that it seemed to him Helen must see her too. And when she
-came to stand beside him, the picture grew so keen in his thoughts that
-he actually pulled himself free of her.</p>
-
-<p>The next day dawned gray and still, beaten with long needles of rain.
-They stayed indoors by the smoldering fire; Robin, half sick and
-feverish from his drenching, sprawled by the hearth too indolent to
-move, watching Helen's comings and goings about the room; not realizing
-why the sight of her slight, quick form against the gray light filled
-him with such pain and melancholy.</p>
-
-<p>The storm lasted four days. Helen exhausted her household tasks and sat
-restlessly thumbing through the few books she knew by heart&mdash;they had
-allowed her to remove all her personal possessions, all the things she
-had chosen on a forgotten and faraway Earth for a ten-year star-cruise.
-For the first time in years, Helen was thinking again of the life,
-the civilization she had thrown away, for Robin who had been a pink
-scrap in the circle of her arm and now lay sullen on the hearth, not
-speaking, aimlessly whittling a stick with the knife (found discarded
-in a heap of rubbish from the <i>Starholm</i>) which was his dearest
-possession. Helen felt slow horror closing in on her. <i>What world,
-what heritage did I give him, in my madness? This world has driven us
-both insane. Robin and I are both a little mad, by Earth's standards.
-And when I die, and I will die first, what then?</i> At that moment Helen
-would have given her life to believe in his old dream of strange people
-in the wood.</p>
-
-<p>She flung her book restlessly away, and Robin, as if waiting for that
-signal, sat upright and said almost eagerly, "Helen&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Grateful that he had broken the silence of days, she gave him an
-encouraging smile.</p>
-
-<p>"I've been reading your books," he began, diffidently, "and I
-read about the sun you came from. It's different from this one.
-Suppose&mdash;suppose, if there were actually a kind of people here, and
-something in this light, or in your eyes, made them invisible to you?"</p>
-
-<p>Helen said, "Have you been seeing them again?"</p>
-
-<p>He flinched at her ironical tone, and she asked, somewhat more gently,
-"It's a theory, Robin, but it wouldn't explain, then, why <i>you</i> see
-them."</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe I'm&mdash;more used to this light," he said gropingly. "&mdash;And anyway,
-you said you thought you'd seen them and thought it was only a dream."</p>
-
-<p>Halfway between exasperation and a deep pity, Helen found herself
-arguing, "If these other people of yours really exist, why haven't they
-made themselves known in sixteen years?"</p>
-
-<p>The eagerness with which he answered was almost frightening. "I think
-they only come out at night, they're what your book calls a primitive
-civilization&mdash;" He spoke the words he had read, but never heard, with
-an odd hesitation. "They're not really a civilization at all, I think,
-they're like&mdash;part of the woods."</p>
-
-<p>"A forest people," Helen mused, impressed in spite of herself, "and
-nocturnal. It's always moonlight or dusky when you see them&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Then you <i>do</i> believe me&mdash;oh, Helen," Robin cried, and suddenly found
-himself pouring out the story of what he had seen, in incoherent
-words, concluding "&mdash;and by daylight I can hear them, but I can't see
-them&mdash;Helen, Helen, you have to believe it now, you'll have to let me
-try to find them and learn to talk to them&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Helen listened with a sinking heart. She knew they should not discuss
-it now, when five days of enforced housebound proximity had set their
-nerves and tempers on edge, but some unknown tension hurled her sharp
-words at Robin. "You saw a woman, and I&mdash;a man. These things are only
-dreams. Do I have to explain more to you?"</p>
-
-<p>Robin flung his knife sullenly aside. "You're so blind, so stubborn&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I think you are feverish again." Helen rose to go.</p>
-
-<p>He said wrathfully, "You treat me like a child!"</p>
-
-<p>"Because you act like one, with your fairy tales of women in the
-wind...."</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly Robin's agony overflowed and he caught at her, holding her
-around the knees, clinging to her as he had not done since he was a
-small child, his words stumbling and rushing over one another.</p>
-
-<p>"Helen, Helen darling, don't be angry with me," he begged, and caught
-her in a blind embrace that pulled her off her feet. She had never
-guessed how strong he was; but he seemed very like a little boy, and
-she hugged him quickly as he began to cover her face with childish
-kisses.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't cry, Robin, my baby, it's all right," she murmured, kneeling
-close to him. Gradually the wildness of his passionate crying abated;
-she touched his forehead with her cheek to see if it were heated with
-fever, and he reached up and held her there. Helen let him lie against
-her shoulder, feeling that perhaps after the violence of his outburst
-he would fall asleep, and she was half asleep herself when a sudden
-shock of realization darted through her; quickly she tried to free
-herself from Robin's entangling arms.</p>
-
-<p>"Robin, let me go."</p>
-
-<p>He clung to her, not understanding. "Don't let go of me, Helen.
-Darling, stay here beside me," he begged, and pressed a kiss into her
-throat.</p>
-
-<p>Helen, her blood icing over, realized that unless she freed herself
-very quickly now, she would be fighting against a strong, aroused young
-man not clearly aware of what he was doing. She took refuge in the
-sharp maternal note of ten years ago, almost vanished in the closer,
-more equal companionship of the time between:</p>
-
-<p>"No, Robin. Stop it, at once, do you hear?"</p>
-
-<p>Automatically he let her go, and she rolled quickly away, out of his
-reach, and got to her feet. Robin, too intelligent to be unaware of her
-anger and too naive to know its cause, suddenly dropped his head and
-wept, wholly unstrung. "Why are you angry?" he blurted out. "I was only
-loving you."</p>
-
-<p>And at the phrase of the five-year-old child, Helen felt her throat
-would burst with its ache. She managed to choke out, "I'm not angry,
-Robin&mdash;we'll talk about this later, I promise&mdash;" and then, her own
-control vanishing, turned and fled precipitately into the pouring rain.</p>
-
-<p>She plunged through the familiar woods for a long time, in a daze of
-unthinking misery. She did not even fully realize that she was sobbing
-and muttering aloud, "No, no, no, no&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>She must have wandered for several hours. The rain had stopped and the
-darkness was lifting before she began to grow calmer and to think more
-clearly.</p>
-
-<p>She had been blind, not to foresee this day when Robin was a child;
-only if her child had been a daughter could it have been avoided.
-Or&mdash;she was shocked at the hysterical sound of her own laughter&mdash;if
-Colin had stayed and they had raised a family like Adam and Eve!</p>
-
-<p>But what now? Robin was sixteen; she was not yet forty. Helen caught at
-vanishing memories of society; taboos so deeply rooted that for Helen
-they were instinctual and impregnable. Yet for Robin nothing existed
-except this little patch of forest and Helen herself&mdash;the only person
-in his world, more specifically at the moment the only woman in his
-world. <i>So much</i>, she thought bitterly, <i>for instinct. But have I the
-right to begin this all over again? Worse; have I the right to deny its
-existence and when I die, leave Robin alone?</i></p>
-
-<p>She had stumbled and paused for breath, realizing that she had
-wandered in circles and that she was at a familiar point on the river
-bank which she had avoided for sixteen years. On the heels of this
-realization she became aware that for only the second time in memory,
-the winds were wholly stilled.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Her eyes, swollen with crying, ached as she tried to pierce the gloom
-of the mist, lilac-tinted with the approaching sunrise, which hung
-around the water. Through the dispersing mist she made out, dimly, the
-form of a man.</p>
-
-<p>He was tall, and his pale skin shone with misty white colors. Helen sat
-frozen, her mouth open, and for the space of several seconds he looked
-down at her without moving. His eyes, dark splashes in the pale face,
-had an air of infinite sadness and compassion, and she thought his lips
-moved in speech, but she heard only a thin familiar rustle of wind.</p>
-
-<p>Behind him, mere flickers, she seemed to make out the ghosts of other
-faces, tips of fingers of invisible hands, eyes, the outline of a
-woman's breast, the curve of a child's foot. For a minute, in Helen's
-weary numbed state, all her defenses went down and she thought: <i>Then
-I'm not mad and it wasn't a dream and Robin isn't Reynolds' son at all.
-His father was this&mdash;one of these&mdash;and they've been watching me and
-Robin, Robin has seen them, he doesn't know he's one of them, but they
-know. They know and I've kept Robin from them all these sixteen years.</i></p>
-
-<p>The man took two steps toward her, the translucent body shifting
-to a dozen colors before her blurred eyes. His face had a curious
-familiarity&mdash;<i>familiarity</i>&mdash;and in a sudden spasm of terror Helen
-thought, "I'm going mad, it's Robin, <i>it's Robin</i>&mdash;"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>His hand was actually outstretched to touch her when her scream cut icy
-lashes through the forest, stirring wild echoes in the wind-voices, and
-she whirled and ran blindly toward the treacherous, crumbling bank.
-Behind her came steps, a voice, a cry&mdash;Robin, the strange dryad-man,
-she could not guess. The horror of incest, the son the father the lover
-suddenly melting into one, overwhelmed her reeling brain and she fled
-insanely to the brink. She felt a masculine hand actually gripping her
-shoulder, she might have been pulled back even then, but she twisted
-free blindly, shrieking, "No, Robin, no, no&mdash;" and flung herself down
-the steep bank, to slip and hurl downward and whirl around in the
-raging current to spinning oblivion and death....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Many years later, Merrihew, grown old in the Space Service, falsified
-a log entry to send his ship for a little while into the orbit of the
-tiny green planet he had named Robin's World. The old buildings had
-fallen into rotted timbers, and Merrihew quartered the little world for
-two months from pole to pole but found nothing. Nothing but shadows and
-whispers and the unending voices of the wind. Finally, he lifted his
-ship and went away.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Wind People, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Wind People, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Wind People
-
-Author: Marion Zimmer Bradley
-
-Release Date: November 7, 2019 [EBook #60640]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WIND PEOPLE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
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-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE WIND PEOPLE
-
- BY MARION ZIMMER BRADLEY
-
- _Inhabited only by whispering winds,
- Robin's World was a paradise for the
- wrong two people--Eve and her son...._
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Worlds of If Science Fiction, February 1959.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-It had been a long layover for the _Starholm's_ crew, hunting heavy
-elements for fuel--eight months, on an idyllic green paradise of a
-planet; a soft, windy, whispering world, inhabited only by trees and
-winds. But in the end it presented its own unique problem.
-
-Specifically, it presented Captain Merrihew with the problem of Robin,
-male, father unknown, who had been born the day before, and a month
-prematurely, to Dr. Helen Murray.
-
-Merrihew found her lying abed in the laboratory shelter, pale and calm,
-with the child beside her.
-
-The little shelter, constructed roughly of green planks, looked out
-on the clearing which the _Starholm_ had used as a base of operations
-during the layover; a beautiful place at the bottom of a wide valley,
-in the curve of a broad, deep-flowing river. The crew, tired of being
-shipbound, had built half a dozen such huts and shacks in these eight
-months.
-
-Merrihew glared down at Helen. He snorted, "This is a fine situation.
-You, of all the people in the whole damned crew--the ship's doctor!
-It's--it's--" Inarticulate with rage, he fell back on a ridiculously
-inadequate phrase. "It's--criminal carelessness!"
-
-"I know." Helen Murray, too young and far too lovely for a ship's
-officer on a ten-year cruise, still looked weak and white, and her
-voice was a gentle shadow of its crisp self. "I'm afraid four years in
-space made me careless."
-
-Merrihew brooded, looking down at her. Something about ship-gravity
-conditions, while not affecting potency, made conception impossible; no
-child had ever been conceived in space and none ever would. On planet
-layovers, the effect wore off very slowly; only after three months
-aground had Dr. Murray started routine administration of anticeptin to
-the twenty-two women of the crew, herself included. At that time she
-had been still unaware that she herself was already carrying a child.
-
-Outside, the leafy forest whispered and rustled, and Merrihew knew
-Helen had forgotten his existence again. The day-old child was tucked
-up in one of her rolled coveralls at her side. To Merrihew, he looked
-like a skinned monkey, but Helen's eyes smoldered as her hands moved
-gently over the tiny round head.
-
-He stood and listened to the winds and said at random, "These shacks
-will fall to pieces in another month. It doesn't matter, we'll have
-taken off by then."
-
-Dr. Chao Lin came into the shack, an angular woman of thirty-five. She
-said, "Company, Helen? Well, it's about time. Here, let me take Robin."
-
-Helen said in weak protest, "You're spoiling me, Lin."
-
-"It will do you good," Chao Lin returned. Merrihew, in a sudden surge
-of fury and frustration, exploded, "Damn it, Lin, you're making it all
-worse. He'll die when we go into overdrive, you know as well as I do!"
-
-Helen sat up, clutching Robin protectively. "Are you proposing to drown
-him like a kitten?"
-
-"Helen, I'm not proposing anything. I'm stating a fact."
-
-"But it's not a fact. He won't die in overdrive because he won't be
-aboard when we go into overdrive!"
-
-Merrihew looked at Lin helplessly, but his face softened. "Shall
-we--put him to sleep and bury him here?"
-
-The woman's face turned white. "No!" she cried in passionate protest,
-and Lin bent to disengage her frantic grip. "Helen, you'll hurt him.
-Put him down. There."
-
-Merrihew looked down at her, troubled, and said, "We can't just abandon
-him to die slowly, Helen--"
-
-"Who says I'm going to abandon him?"
-
-Merrihew asked slowly, "Are you planning to desert?" He added, after a
-minute, "There's a chance he'll survive. After all, his very birth was
-against all medical precedent. Maybe--"
-
-"Captain--" Helen sounded desperate. "Even drugged, no child under
-ten has ever endured the shift into hyperspace drive. A newborn would
-die in seconds." She clasped Robin to her again, and said, "It's the
-only way--you have Lin for a doctor, Reynolds can handle my collateral
-duties. This planet is uninhabited, the climate is mild, we couldn't
-possibly starve." Her face, so gentle, was suddenly like rock. "Enter
-my death in the log, if you want to."
-
-Merrihew looked from Helen to Lin, and said, "Helen, you're insane!"
-
-She said, "Even if I'm sane now, I wouldn't be long if I had to
-abandon Robin." The wild note had died out of her voice, and she spoke
-rationally, but inflexibly. "Captain Merrihew, to get me aboard the
-_Starholm_, you will have to have me drugged or taken by force; I
-promise you I won't go any other way. And if you do that--and if Robin
-is left behind, or dies in overdrive--just so you will have my services
-as a doctor--then I solemnly swear that I will kill myself at the first
-opportunity."
-
-"My God," said Merrihew, "you _are_ insane!"
-
-Helen gave a very tiny shrug. "Do you want a madwoman aboard?"
-
-Chao Lin said quietly, "Captain, I don't see any other way. We
-would have had to arrange it that way if Helen had actually died in
-childbirth. Of two unsatisfactory solutions, we must choose the least
-harmful." And Merrihew knew that he had no real choice.
-
-"I still think you're both crazy," he blustered, but it was surrender,
-and Helen knew it.
-
-Ten days after the _Starholm_ took off, young Colin Reynolds,
-technician, committed suicide by the messy procedure of slicing his
-jugular artery, which--in zero gravity--distributed several quarts of
-blood in big round globules all over his cabin. He left an incoherent
-note.
-
-Merrihew put the note in the disposal and Chao Lin put the blood in the
-ship's blood-bank for surgery, and they hushed it up as an accident;
-but Merrihew had the unpleasant feeling that the layover on the green
-and windy planet was going to become a legend, spread in whispers by
-the crew. And it did, but that is another story.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Robin was two years old when he first heard the voices in the wind. He
-pulled at his mother's arm and crooned softly, in imitation.
-
-"What is it, lovey?"
-
-"Pretty." He crooned again to the distant murmuring sound.
-
-Helen smiled vaguely and patted the round cheek. Robin, his infant
-imagination suddenly distracted, said, "Hungry. Robin hungry. Berries."
-
-"Berries after you eat," Helen promised absently, and picked him up.
-Robin tugged at her arm.
-
-"Mommy pretty, too!"
-
-She laughed, a rosy and smiling young Diana. She was happy on the
-solitary planet; they lived quite comfortably in one of the larger
-shacks, and only a little frown-line between her eyes bore witness
-to the terror which had closed down on her in the first months, when
-every new day had been some new struggle--against weakness, against
-unfamiliar sounds, against loneliness and dread. Nights when she lay
-wakeful, sweating with terror while the winds rose and fell again
-and her imagination gave them voices, bleak days when she wandered
-dazedly around the shack or stared moodily at Robin. There had
-been moments--only fleeting, and penanced with hours of shame and
-regret--when she thought that even the horror of losing Robin in those
-first days would have been less than the horror of spending the rest
-of her life alone here; when she had wondered why Merrihew had not
-realized that she was unbalanced, and forced her to go with them ... by
-now, Robin would have been only a moment's painful memory.
-
-Still not strong, knowing she had to be strong for Robin or he would
-die as surely as if she had abandoned him, she had spent the first
-months in a somnambulistic dream. Sometimes she had walked for days
-at a time in that dream; she would wake to find food that she could
-not remember gathering. Somehow, pervasive, the dream-voices had taken
-over; the whispering winds had been full of voices and even hands.
-
-She had fallen ill and lain for days sick and delirious, and had
-heard a voice which hardly seemed to be her own, saying that if she
-died the wind voices would care for Robin ... and then the shock and
-irrationality of that had startled her out of delirium, agonized and
-trembling, and she pulled herself upright and cried out "No!"
-
-And the shimmer of eyes and voices had faded again into vague echoes,
-until there was only the stir of sunlight on the leaves, and Robin,
-chubby and naked, kicking in the sunlight, cooing with his hands
-outstretched to the rustle of leaves and shadows.
-
-She had known, then, that she had to get well. She had never heard the
-wind voices again, and her crisp, scientific mind rejected the fanciful
-theory that if she only believed in the wind voices she would see their
-forms and hear their words clearly. And she rejected them so thoroughly
-that when she heard them speak she shut them away from her mind, and
-after a time heard them no longer, except in restless dreams.
-
-By now she had accepted the isolation and the beauty of their world,
-and begun to make a happy life for Robin.
-
-For lack of other occupation last summer--though the winter was
-mild and there was no lack of fruits and roots even then--Helen had
-patiently snared male and female of small animals like rabbits, and
-now she had a pen of them. They provided a change of diet, and after
-a few smelly unsuccessful experiments she had devised a way to supple
-their fur pelts. She made no effort at gardening, though when Robin was
-older she might try that. For the moment, it was enough that they were
-healthy and safe and protected.
-
-... Robin was _listening_ again. Helen bent her ear, sharpened by the
-silence, but heard only the rustle of wind and leaves; saw only falling
-brightness along a silvered tree-trunk.
-
-Wind? When there were no branches stirring?
-
-"Ridiculous," she said sharply, then snatched up the baby boy and
-squeezed him before hoisting him astride her hip. "Mommy doesn't mean
-_you_, Robin. Let's look for berries."
-
-But soon she realized that his head was tipped back and that he was
-listening, again, to some sound she could not hear.
-
- * * * * *
-
-On what she said was Robin's fifth birthday, Helen had made a special
-bed for him in another room of the building. He missed the warmth of
-Helen's body, and the comforting sound of her breathing; for Robin,
-since birth, had been a wakeful child.
-
-Yet, on the first night alone, Robin felt curiously freed. He did
-something he had never dared do before, for fear of waking Helen; he
-slipped from his bed and stood in the doorway, looking into the forest.
-
-The forest was closer to the doorway now; Robin could fuzzily remember
-when the clearing had been wider. Now, slowly, beyond the garden patch
-which Helen kept cleared, the underbrush and saplings were growing
-back, and even what Robin called "the burned place" was covered with
-new sparse grass.
-
-Robin was accustomed to being alone, during the day--even in his first
-year, Helen had had to leave him alone, securely fastened in the house,
-or inside a little tight-fenced yard. But he was not used to being
-alone at night.
-
-Far off in the forest, he could hear the whispers of the other people.
-Helen said there were no other people, but Robin knew better, because
-he could hear their voices on the wind, like fragments of the songs
-Helen sang at bedtime. And sometimes he could almost see them in the
-shadowy spots.
-
-Once when Helen had been sick, a long time ago, and Robin had run
-helplessly from the fenced yard to the inside room and back again,
-hungry and dirty and furious because Helen only slept on the bed with
-her eyes closed, rousing up now and then to whimper like he did when
-he fell down and skinned his knee, the winds and voices had come into
-the very house; Robin had hazy memories of soothing voices, of hands
-that touched him more softly than Helen's hands. But he could not quite
-remember.
-
-Now that he could hear them so clearly, he would go and find the other
-people. And then if Helen was sick again, there would be someone else
-to play with him and look after him. He thought gleefully, _won't Helen
-be surprised_, and darted off across the clearing.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Helen woke, roused not by a sound but by a silence. She no longer heard
-Robin's soft breaths from the alcove, and after a moment she realized
-something else:
-
-The winds were silent.
-
-Perhaps, she thought, a storm was coming. Some change in air pressure
-could cause this stillness--but Robin? She tiptoed to the alcove; as
-she had suspected, his bed was empty.
-
-Where could he be? In the clearing? With a storm coming? She slid her
-feet into hand-made sandals and ran outside, her quivering call ringing
-out through the silent forest:
-
-"Robin--oh, Robin!"
-
-Silence. And far away a little ominous whisper. And for the first
-time, since that first frightening year of loneliness, she felt lost,
-deserted in an alien world. She ran across the clearing, looking around
-wildly, trying to decide which way he could have wandered. Into the
-forest? What if he had strayed toward the river bank? There was a place
-where the bank crumbled away, down toward the rapids--her throat closed
-convulsively, and her call was almost a shriek:
-
-"Oh, Robin! Robin, darling! Robin!"
-
-She ran through the paths worn by their feet, hearing snatches of
-rustle, winds and leaves suddenly vocal in the cold moonlight around
-her. It was the first time since the spaceship left them that Helen had
-ventured out into the night of their world. She called again, her voice
-cracking in panic.
-
-"Ro-bin!"
-
-A sudden stray gleam revealed a glint of white, and a child stood in
-the middle of the path. Helen gasped with relief and ran to snatch up
-her son--then fell back in dismay. It was not Robin who stood there.
-The child was naked, about a head shorter than Robin, and female.
-
-There was something curious about the bare and gleaming flesh, as if
-she could see the child only in the full flush of the moonlight. A
-round, almost expressionless face was surrounded by a mass of colorless
-streaming hair, the exact color of the moonlight. Helen's audible gasp
-startled her to a stop: she shut her eyes convulsively, and when she
-opened them the path was black and empty and Robin was running down the
-track toward her.
-
-Helen caught him up, with a strangled cry, and ran, clasping him to her
-breast, back down the path to their shack. Inside, she barred the door
-and laid Robin down in her own bed, and threw herself down shivering,
-too shaken to speak, too shaken to scold him, curiously afraid to
-question. I had a hallucination, she told herself, a hallucination,
-another dream, a dream....
-
- * * * * *
-
-A dream, like the other Dream. She dignified it to herself as The
-Dream, because it was not like any other dream she had ever had. She
-had dreamed it first before Robin's birth, and been ashamed to speak of
-it to Chao Lin, fearing the common-sense skepticism of the older woman.
-
-On their tenth night on the green planet (the _Starholm_ was a dim
-recollection now) when Merrihew's scientists had been convinced that
-the little world was safe, without wild beasts or diseases or savage
-natives, the crew had requested permission to camp in the valley
-clearing beside the river. Permission granted, they had gone apart in
-couples almost as usual, and even those who had no enduring liaison at
-the moment had found a partner for the night.
-
-_It must have been that night...._
-
-Colin Reynolds was two years younger than Helen, and their attachment,
-enduring over a few months of shiptime, was based less on mutual
-passion than a sort of boyish need in him, a sort of impersonal
-feminine solicitude in Helen. All her affairs had been like that,
-companionable, comfortable, but never passionate. Curiously enough,
-Helen was a woman capable of passion, of great depths of devotion; but
-no man had ever roused it and now no man ever would. Only Robin's birth
-had touched her deeply-pent emotions.
-
-But that night, when Colin Reynolds was sleeping, Helen stayed
-restlessly awake, hearing the unquiet stirring of wind on the leaves.
-After a time she wandered down to the water's edge, staying a cautious
-distance from the shore--for the cliff crumbled dangerously--and
-stretched herself out to listen to the wind-voices. And after a time
-she fell asleep, and had The Dream, which was to return to her again
-and again.
-
-Helen thought of herself as a scientist, without room for fantasies,
-and that was why she called it, fiercely, a dream; a dream born of some
-undiagnosed conflict in her. Even to herself Helen would not recall it
-in full.
-
-There had been a man, and to her it seemed that he was part of the
-green and windy world, and he had found her sleeping by the river. Even
-in her drowsy state, Helen had suspected that perhaps one of the other
-crew members, like herself sleepless and drawn to the shining water,
-had happened upon her there; such things were not impossible, manners
-and mores being what they were among starship crews.
-
-But to her, half-dreaming, there had been some strangeness about him,
-which prevented her from seeing him too clearly even in the brilliant
-green moonlight. No dream and no man had ever seemed so living to her;
-and it was her fierce rationalization of the dream which kept her
-silent, months later, when she discovered (to her horror and secret
-despair) that she was with child. She had felt that she would lose the
-haze and secret delight of the dream, if she openly acknowledged that
-Colin had fathered her child.
-
-But at first--in the cool green morning that followed--she had not been
-at all sure it was a dream. Seeing only sunlight and leaves, she had
-held back from speaking, not wanting ridicule; could she have asked
-each man of the _Starholm_, Was it you who came to me last night?
-Because if it was not, there are other men on this world, men who
-cannot be clearly seen even by moonlight--
-
-Severely she reminded herself, Merrihew's men had pronounced the world
-uninhabited, and uninhabited it must be. Five years later, hugging
-her sleeping son close, Helen remembered the dream, examined the
-content of her fantasy, and once again, shivering, repeated, "I had a
-hallucination. It was only a dream. A dream, because I was alone...."
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Robin was fourteen years old, Helen told him the story of his
-birth, and of the ship.
-
-He was a tall, silent boy, strong and hardy but not talkative; he
-heard the story almost in silence, and looked at Helen for a long time
-in silence, afterward. He finally said in a whisper, "You could have
-died--you gave up a lot for me, Helen, didn't you?" He knelt and took
-her face in his hands. She smiled, and drew a little away from him.
-
-"Why are you looking at me like that, Robin?"
-
-The boy could not put instant words to his thoughts; emotions were not
-in his vocabulary. Helen had taught him everything she knew, but she
-had always concealed her feelings from her son. He asked at last, "Why
-didn't my father stay with you?"
-
-"I don't suppose it entered his head," Helen said. "He was needed on
-the ship. Losing me was bad enough."
-
-Robin said passionately, "I'd have stayed!"
-
-The woman found herself laughing. "Well--you did stay, Robin."
-
-He asked, "Am I like my father?"
-
-Helen looked gravely at her son, trying to see the half-forgotten
-features of young Reynolds in the boy's face. No, Robin did not look
-like Colin Reynolds, nor like Helen herself. She picked up his hand
-in hers; despite his robust health, Robin never tanned; his skin was
-pearly pale, so that in the green sunlight it blended into the forest
-almost invisibly. His hand lay in Helen's palm like a shadow. She
-said at last, "No, nothing like him. But under this sun, that's to be
-expected."
-
-Robin said confidently, "I'm like the _other_ people."
-
-"The ones on the ship? They--"
-
-"No," Robin interrupted, "you always said, when I was older you'd tell
-me about the other people. I mean the other people _here_. The ones in
-the woods. The ones you can't see."
-
-Helen stared at the boy in blank disbelief. "What do you mean? There
-are no other people, just us." Then she recalled that every imaginative
-child invents playmates. _Alone_, she thought, _Robin's always alone,
-no other children, no wonder he's a little--strange._ She said,
-quietly, "You dreamed it, Robin."
-
-The boy only stared at her, in bleak, blank alienation. "You mean," he
-said, "you can't _hear_ them either?" He got up and walked out of the
-hut. Helen called, but he didn't turn back. She ran after him, catching
-at his arm, stopping him almost by force. She whispered, "Robin, Robin,
-tell me what you mean! There isn't anyone here. Once or twice I thought
-I had seen--something, by moonlight, only it was a dream. Please,
-Robin--please--"
-
-"If it's only a dream, why are you frightened?" Robin asked, through a
-curious constriction in his throat. "If they've never hurt you--"
-
-No, they had never hurt her. Even if, in her long-ago dream, one of
-them had come to her--_and the sons of God saw the daughters of men
-that they were fair_--a scrap of memory from a vanished life on another
-world sang in Helen's thoughts. She looked up at the pale, impatient
-face of her son, and swallowed hard.
-
-Her voice was husky when she spoke.
-
-"Did I ever tell you about rationalization--when you want something to
-be true so much that you can make it sound right to yourself?"
-
-"Couldn't that also happen to something you wanted _not_ to be true?"
-Robin retorted with a mutinous curl of his mouth.
-
-Helen would not let go his arm. She begged, "Robin--no, you'll only
-waste your life and break your heart looking for something that doesn't
-exist--"
-
-The boy looked down into her shaken face, and suddenly a new emotion
-welled up in him and he dropped to his knees beside her and buried his
-face against her breast. He whispered, "Helen, I'll never leave you,
-I'll never do anything you don't want me to do, I don't want anyone but
-you--"
-
-And for the first time in many years, Helen broke into wild and
-uncontrollable crying, without knowing why she wept.
-
-Robin did not speak again of his quest in the forest. For many months
-he was quiet and subdued, staying near the clearing, hovering near
-Helen for days at a time, then disappearing into the forest at dusk. He
-heard the winds numbly, deaf to their promise and their call.
-
-Helen too was quiet and withdrawn, feeling Robin's alienation through
-his submissive mood. She found herself speaking to him sharply for
-being always under foot; yet, on the rare days when he vanished into
-the forest and did not return until after sunset, she felt a restless
-unease that set her wandering the paths herself, not following him, but
-simply uneasy unless she knew he was within call.
-
-Once, in the shadows just before sunset, she thought she saw a man
-moving through the trees, and for an instant, as he turned toward her,
-she saw that he was naked. She had seen him only for a second or two,
-and after he had slipped between the shadows again, common sense told
-her it was Robin. She was vaguely shocked and annoyed; she firmly
-intended to speak to him, perhaps to scold him for running about naked
-and slipping away like that; then, in a sort of remote embarrassment,
-she fore-bore to mention it. But after that, she kept out of the forest.
-
-Robin had been vaguely aware of her surveillance and knew when it
-ceased. But he did not give up his own pointless rambles, although
-even to himself he no longer spoke of searching, or of any dreamlike
-inhabitants of the woods. At times it still seemed that some shadow
-concealed a half-seen form, and the distant murmur grew into a voice
-that mocked him; a white arm, the shadow of a face, until he lifted his
-head and stared straight at it.
-
-One evening toward twilight he saw a sudden shimmer in the trees,
-and he stood, fixedly, as the stray glint resolved itself first into
-a white face with shadowy eyes, then into a translucent flicker of
-bare arms, and then into the form of a woman, arrested for an instant
-with her hand on the bole of a tree. In the shadowy spot, filled only
-with the last ray of a cloudy sunset, she was very clear; not cloudy
-or unreal, but so distinct that he could see even a small smudge or
-bramble-scratch on her shoulder, and a fallen leaf tangled in her
-colorless hair. Robin, paralyzed, watched her pause, and turn, and
-smile, and then she melted into the shadows.
-
-He stood with his heart pounding for a second after she had gone; then
-whirled, bursting with the excitement of his discovery, and ran down
-the path toward home. Suddenly he stopped short, the world tilting and
-reeling, and fell on his face in a bed of dry leaves.
-
-He was still ignorant of the nature of the emotion in him. He felt only
-intolerable misery and the conviction that he must never, never speak
-to Helen of what he had seen or felt.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He lay there, his burning face pressed into the leaves, unaware of the
-rising wind, the little flurry of blown leaves, the growing darkness
-and distant thunder. At last an icy spatter of rain aroused him, and
-cold, numbed, he made his way slowly homeward. Over his head the boughs
-creaked woodenly, and Robin, under the driving whips of the rain, felt
-their tumult only echoed his own voiceless agony.
-
-He was drenched by the time he pushed the door of the shack open, and
-stumbled blindly toward the fire, only hoping that Helen would be
-sleeping. But she started up from beside the hearth they had built
-together last summer.
-
-"Robin?"
-
-Deathly weary, the boy snapped, "Who _else_ would it be?"
-
-Helen didn't answer. She came to him, a small swift-moving figure in
-the firelight, and drew him into the warmth. She said, almost humbly,
-"I was afraid--the storm--Robin, you're all wet, come to the fire and
-dry out."
-
-Robin yielded, his twitching nerves partly soothed by her voice. _How
-tiny Helen is_, he thought, _and I can remember that she used to carry
-me around on one arm. Now she hardly comes to my shoulder._ She brought
-him food and he ate wolfishly, listening to the steady pouring rain,
-uncomfortable under Helen's watching eyes. Before his own eyes there
-was the clear memory of the woman in the wood, and so vivid was Robin's
-imagination, heightened by loneliness and undiluted by any random
-impressions, that it seemed to him Helen must see her too. And when she
-came to stand beside him, the picture grew so keen in his thoughts that
-he actually pulled himself free of her.
-
-The next day dawned gray and still, beaten with long needles of rain.
-They stayed indoors by the smoldering fire; Robin, half sick and
-feverish from his drenching, sprawled by the hearth too indolent to
-move, watching Helen's comings and goings about the room; not realizing
-why the sight of her slight, quick form against the gray light filled
-him with such pain and melancholy.
-
-The storm lasted four days. Helen exhausted her household tasks and sat
-restlessly thumbing through the few books she knew by heart--they had
-allowed her to remove all her personal possessions, all the things she
-had chosen on a forgotten and faraway Earth for a ten-year star-cruise.
-For the first time in years, Helen was thinking again of the life,
-the civilization she had thrown away, for Robin who had been a pink
-scrap in the circle of her arm and now lay sullen on the hearth, not
-speaking, aimlessly whittling a stick with the knife (found discarded
-in a heap of rubbish from the _Starholm_) which was his dearest
-possession. Helen felt slow horror closing in on her. _What world,
-what heritage did I give him, in my madness? This world has driven us
-both insane. Robin and I are both a little mad, by Earth's standards.
-And when I die, and I will die first, what then?_ At that moment Helen
-would have given her life to believe in his old dream of strange people
-in the wood.
-
-She flung her book restlessly away, and Robin, as if waiting for that
-signal, sat upright and said almost eagerly, "Helen--"
-
-Grateful that he had broken the silence of days, she gave him an
-encouraging smile.
-
-"I've been reading your books," he began, diffidently, "and I
-read about the sun you came from. It's different from this one.
-Suppose--suppose, if there were actually a kind of people here, and
-something in this light, or in your eyes, made them invisible to you?"
-
-Helen said, "Have you been seeing them again?"
-
-He flinched at her ironical tone, and she asked, somewhat more gently,
-"It's a theory, Robin, but it wouldn't explain, then, why _you_ see
-them."
-
-"Maybe I'm--more used to this light," he said gropingly. "--And anyway,
-you said you thought you'd seen them and thought it was only a dream."
-
-Halfway between exasperation and a deep pity, Helen found herself
-arguing, "If these other people of yours really exist, why haven't they
-made themselves known in sixteen years?"
-
-The eagerness with which he answered was almost frightening. "I think
-they only come out at night, they're what your book calls a primitive
-civilization--" He spoke the words he had read, but never heard, with
-an odd hesitation. "They're not really a civilization at all, I think,
-they're like--part of the woods."
-
-"A forest people," Helen mused, impressed in spite of herself, "and
-nocturnal. It's always moonlight or dusky when you see them--"
-
-"Then you _do_ believe me--oh, Helen," Robin cried, and suddenly found
-himself pouring out the story of what he had seen, in incoherent
-words, concluding "--and by daylight I can hear them, but I can't see
-them--Helen, Helen, you have to believe it now, you'll have to let me
-try to find them and learn to talk to them--"
-
-Helen listened with a sinking heart. She knew they should not discuss
-it now, when five days of enforced housebound proximity had set their
-nerves and tempers on edge, but some unknown tension hurled her sharp
-words at Robin. "You saw a woman, and I--a man. These things are only
-dreams. Do I have to explain more to you?"
-
-Robin flung his knife sullenly aside. "You're so blind, so stubborn--"
-
-"I think you are feverish again." Helen rose to go.
-
-He said wrathfully, "You treat me like a child!"
-
-"Because you act like one, with your fairy tales of women in the
-wind...."
-
-Suddenly Robin's agony overflowed and he caught at her, holding her
-around the knees, clinging to her as he had not done since he was a
-small child, his words stumbling and rushing over one another.
-
-"Helen, Helen darling, don't be angry with me," he begged, and caught
-her in a blind embrace that pulled her off her feet. She had never
-guessed how strong he was; but he seemed very like a little boy, and
-she hugged him quickly as he began to cover her face with childish
-kisses.
-
-"Don't cry, Robin, my baby, it's all right," she murmured, kneeling
-close to him. Gradually the wildness of his passionate crying abated;
-she touched his forehead with her cheek to see if it were heated with
-fever, and he reached up and held her there. Helen let him lie against
-her shoulder, feeling that perhaps after the violence of his outburst
-he would fall asleep, and she was half asleep herself when a sudden
-shock of realization darted through her; quickly she tried to free
-herself from Robin's entangling arms.
-
-"Robin, let me go."
-
-He clung to her, not understanding. "Don't let go of me, Helen.
-Darling, stay here beside me," he begged, and pressed a kiss into her
-throat.
-
-Helen, her blood icing over, realized that unless she freed herself
-very quickly now, she would be fighting against a strong, aroused young
-man not clearly aware of what he was doing. She took refuge in the
-sharp maternal note of ten years ago, almost vanished in the closer,
-more equal companionship of the time between:
-
-"No, Robin. Stop it, at once, do you hear?"
-
-Automatically he let her go, and she rolled quickly away, out of his
-reach, and got to her feet. Robin, too intelligent to be unaware of her
-anger and too naive to know its cause, suddenly dropped his head and
-wept, wholly unstrung. "Why are you angry?" he blurted out. "I was only
-loving you."
-
-And at the phrase of the five-year-old child, Helen felt her throat
-would burst with its ache. She managed to choke out, "I'm not angry,
-Robin--we'll talk about this later, I promise--" and then, her own
-control vanishing, turned and fled precipitately into the pouring rain.
-
-She plunged through the familiar woods for a long time, in a daze of
-unthinking misery. She did not even fully realize that she was sobbing
-and muttering aloud, "No, no, no, no--"
-
-She must have wandered for several hours. The rain had stopped and the
-darkness was lifting before she began to grow calmer and to think more
-clearly.
-
-She had been blind, not to foresee this day when Robin was a child;
-only if her child had been a daughter could it have been avoided.
-Or--she was shocked at the hysterical sound of her own laughter--if
-Colin had stayed and they had raised a family like Adam and Eve!
-
-But what now? Robin was sixteen; she was not yet forty. Helen caught at
-vanishing memories of society; taboos so deeply rooted that for Helen
-they were instinctual and impregnable. Yet for Robin nothing existed
-except this little patch of forest and Helen herself--the only person
-in his world, more specifically at the moment the only woman in his
-world. _So much_, she thought bitterly, _for instinct. But have I the
-right to begin this all over again? Worse; have I the right to deny its
-existence and when I die, leave Robin alone?_
-
-She had stumbled and paused for breath, realizing that she had
-wandered in circles and that she was at a familiar point on the river
-bank which she had avoided for sixteen years. On the heels of this
-realization she became aware that for only the second time in memory,
-the winds were wholly stilled.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Her eyes, swollen with crying, ached as she tried to pierce the gloom
-of the mist, lilac-tinted with the approaching sunrise, which hung
-around the water. Through the dispersing mist she made out, dimly, the
-form of a man.
-
-He was tall, and his pale skin shone with misty white colors. Helen sat
-frozen, her mouth open, and for the space of several seconds he looked
-down at her without moving. His eyes, dark splashes in the pale face,
-had an air of infinite sadness and compassion, and she thought his lips
-moved in speech, but she heard only a thin familiar rustle of wind.
-
-Behind him, mere flickers, she seemed to make out the ghosts of other
-faces, tips of fingers of invisible hands, eyes, the outline of a
-woman's breast, the curve of a child's foot. For a minute, in Helen's
-weary numbed state, all her defenses went down and she thought: _Then
-I'm not mad and it wasn't a dream and Robin isn't Reynolds' son at all.
-His father was this--one of these--and they've been watching me and
-Robin, Robin has seen them, he doesn't know he's one of them, but they
-know. They know and I've kept Robin from them all these sixteen years._
-
-The man took two steps toward her, the translucent body shifting
-to a dozen colors before her blurred eyes. His face had a curious
-familiarity--_familiarity_--and in a sudden spasm of terror Helen
-thought, "I'm going mad, it's Robin, _it's Robin_--"
-
- * * * * *
-
-His hand was actually outstretched to touch her when her scream cut icy
-lashes through the forest, stirring wild echoes in the wind-voices, and
-she whirled and ran blindly toward the treacherous, crumbling bank.
-Behind her came steps, a voice, a cry--Robin, the strange dryad-man,
-she could not guess. The horror of incest, the son the father the lover
-suddenly melting into one, overwhelmed her reeling brain and she fled
-insanely to the brink. She felt a masculine hand actually gripping her
-shoulder, she might have been pulled back even then, but she twisted
-free blindly, shrieking, "No, Robin, no, no--" and flung herself down
-the steep bank, to slip and hurl downward and whirl around in the
-raging current to spinning oblivion and death....
-
- * * * * *
-
-Many years later, Merrihew, grown old in the Space Service, falsified
-a log entry to send his ship for a little while into the orbit of the
-tiny green planet he had named Robin's World. The old buildings had
-fallen into rotted timbers, and Merrihew quartered the little world for
-two months from pole to pole but found nothing. Nothing but shadows and
-whispers and the unending voices of the wind. Finally, he lifted his
-ship and went away.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Wind People, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
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