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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, By Cervantes, Vol. II., Part 33.</title>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
+
+<style type="text/css">
+ <!--
+ body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify}
+ P { text-indent: 1em;
+ margin-top: .75em;
+ margin-bottom: .75em; }
+ H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+ HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; }
+ blockquote {font-size: 97%; }
+ .figleft {float: left;}
+ .figright {float: right;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+ CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+ PRE { font-family: Times; font-size: 97%; margin-left: 15%;}
+ // -->
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+</head>
+<body>
+
+<h2>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, Vol. II., Part 33.</h2>
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part
+33, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 33
+
+Author: Miguel de Cervantes
+
+Release Date: July 25, 2004 [EBook #5936]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 33 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<br>
+<hr>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center>
+<h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1>
+<br>
+<h2>by Miguel de Cervantes</h2>
+<br>
+<h3>Translated by John Ormsby</h3>
+</center>
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h3>
+Volume II.,&nbsp; Part 33
+<br><br>
+Chapters 49-53
+</h3></center>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="bookcover.jpg (230K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" height="842" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/bookcover.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="spine.jpg (152K)" src="images/spine.jpg" height="842" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/spine.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center>
+<h3>Ebook Editor's Note</h3>
+</center>
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+The book cover and spine above and the images which follow were not part of the original Ormsby
+translation&mdash;they are taken from the 1880 edition of J. W. Clark, illustrated by
+Gustave Dore. Clark in his edition states that, "The English text of 'Don Quixote'
+adopted in this edition is that of Jarvis, with occasional corrections from Motteaux."
+See in the introduction below John Ormsby's critique of
+both the Jarvis and Motteaux translations. It has been elected in the present Project Gutenberg edition
+to attach the famous engravings of Gustave Dore to the Ormsby translation instead
+of the Jarvis/Motteaux. The detail of many of the Dore engravings can be fully appreciated only
+by utilizing the "Enlarge" button to expand them to their original dimensions. Ormsby
+in his Preface has criticized the fanciful nature of Dore's illustrations; others feel
+these woodcuts and steel engravings well match Quixote's dreams.
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;D.W.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="p003.jpg (307K)" src="images/p003.jpg" height="813" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p003.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><h2>CONTENTS</h2></center>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+<a href="#ch49b">CHAPTER XLIX</a>
+OF WHAT HAPPENED SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND
+
+<a href="#ch50b">CHAPTER L</a>
+WHEREIN IS SET FORTH WHO THE ENCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS
+WERE WHO FLOGGED THE DUENNA AND PINCHED DON QUIXOTE,
+AND ALSO WHAT BEFELL THE PAGE WHO CARRIED THE LETTER
+TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO PANZA'S WIFE
+
+<a href="#ch51b">CHAPTER LI</a>
+OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCH
+ENTERTAINING MATTERS
+
+<a href="#ch52b">CHAPTER LII</a>
+WHEREIN IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND DISTRESSED
+OR AFFLICTED DUENNA, OTHERWISE CALLED DONA RODRIGUEZ
+
+<a href="#ch53b">CHAPTER LIII</a>
+OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA'S
+GOVERNMENT CAME TO
+
+</pre>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1></center>
+<br><br>
+<center><h2>Volume II.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch49b"></a>CHAPTER XLIX.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>OF WHAT HAPPENED SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p49a"></a><img alt="p49a.jpg (170K)" src="images/p49a.jpg" height="450" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p49a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We left the great governor angered and irritated by that
+portrait-painting rogue of a farmer who, instructed the majordomo,
+as the majordomo was by the duke, tried to practise upon him; he
+however, fool, boor, and clown as he was, held his own against them
+all, saying to those round him and to Doctor Pedro Recio, who as
+soon as the private business of the duke's letter was disposed of
+had returned to the room, "Now I see plainly enough that judges and
+governors ought to be and must be made of brass not to feel the
+importunities of the applicants that at all times and all seasons
+insist on being heard, and having their business despatched, and their
+own affairs and no others attended to, come what may; and if the
+poor judge does not hear them and settle the matter&mdash;either because he
+cannot or because that is not the time set apart for hearing
+them&mdash;forthwith they abuse him, and run him down, and gnaw at his bones, and
+even pick holes in his pedigree. You silly, stupid applicant, don't be
+in a hurry; wait for the proper time and season for doing business;
+don't come at dinner-hour, or at bed-time; for judges are only flesh
+and blood, and must give to Nature what she naturally demands of them;
+all except myself, for in my case I give her nothing to eat, thanks to
+Senor Doctor Pedro Recio Tirteafuera here, who would have me die of
+hunger, and declares that death to be life; and the same sort of
+life may God give him and all his kind&mdash;I mean the bad doctors; for
+the good ones deserve palms and laurels."</p>
+
+<p>All who knew Sancho Panza were astonished to hear him speak so
+elegantly, and did not know what to attribute it to unless it were
+that office and grave responsibility either smarten or stupefy men's
+wits. At last Doctor Pedro Recio Agilers of Tirteafuera promised to
+let him have supper that night though it might be in contravention
+of all the aphorisms of Hippocrates. With this the governor was
+satisfied and looked forward to the approach of night and
+supper-time with great anxiety; and though time, to his mind, stood
+still and made no progress, nevertheless the hour he so longed for
+came, and they gave him a beef salad with onions and some boiled
+calves' feet rather far gone. At this he fell to with greater relish
+than if they had given him francolins from Milan, pheasants from Rome,
+veal from Sorrento, partridges from Moron, or geese from Lavajos,
+and turning to the doctor at supper he said to him, "Look here,
+senor doctor, for the future don't trouble yourself about giving me
+dainty things or choice dishes to eat, for it will be only taking my
+stomach off its hinges; it is accustomed to goat, cow, bacon, hung
+beef, turnips and onions; and if by any chance it is given these
+palace dishes, it receives them squeamishly, and sometimes with
+loathing. What the head-carver had best do is to serve me with what
+they call ollas podridas (and the rottener they are the better they
+smell); and he can put whatever he likes into them, so long as it is
+good to eat, and I'll be obliged to him, and will requite him some
+day. But let nobody play pranks on me, for either we are or we are
+not; let us live and eat in peace and good-fellowship, for when God
+sends the dawn, he sends it for all. I mean to govern this island
+without giving up a right or taking a bribe; let everyone keep his eye
+open, and look out for the arrow; for I can tell them 'the devil's
+in Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they'll see something
+that will astonish them. Nay! make yourself honey and the flies eat
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"Of a truth, senor governor," said the carver, "your worship is in
+the right of it in everything you have said; and I promise you in
+the name of all the inhabitants of this island that they will serve
+your worship with all zeal, affection, and good-will, for the mild
+kind of government you have given a sample of to begin with, leaves
+them no ground for doing or thinking anything to your worship's
+disadvantage."</p>
+
+<p>"That I believe," said Sancho; "and they would be great fools if
+they did or thought otherwise; once more I say, see to my feeding
+and my Dapple's for that is the great point and what is most to the
+purpose; and when the hour comes let us go the rounds, for it is my
+intention to purge this island of all manner of uncleanness and of all
+idle good-for-nothing vagabonds; for I would have you know that lazy
+idlers are the same thing in a State as the drones in a hive, that eat
+up the honey the industrious bees make. I mean to protect the
+husbandman, to preserve to the gentleman his privileges, to reward the
+virtuous, and above all to respect religion and honour its
+ministers. What say you to that, my friends? Is there anything in what
+I say, or am I talking to no purpose?"</p>
+
+<p>"There is so much in what your worship says, senor governor," said
+the majordomo, "that I am filled with wonder when I see a man like
+your worship, entirely without learning (for I believe you have none
+at all), say such things, and so full of sound maxims and sage
+remarks, very different from what was expected of your worship's
+intelligence by those who sent us or by us who came here. Every day we
+see something new in this world; jokes become realities, and the
+jokers find the tables turned upon them."</p>
+
+<p>Night came, and with the permission of Doctor Pedro Recio, the
+governor had supper. They then got ready to go the rounds, and he
+started with the majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, the
+chronicler charged with recording his deeds, and alguacils and
+notaries enough to form a fair-sized squadron. In the midst marched
+Sancho with his staff, as fine a sight as one could wish to see, and
+but a few streets of the town had been traversed when they heard a
+noise as of a clashing of swords. They hastened to the spot, and found
+that the combatants were but two, who seeing the authorities
+approaching stood still, and one of them exclaimed, "Help, in the name
+of God and the king! Are men to be allowed to rob in the middle of
+this town, and rush out and attack people in the very streets?"</p>
+
+<p>"Be calm, my good man," said Sancho, "and tell me what the cause
+of this quarrel is; for I am the governor."</p>
+
+<p>Said the other combatant, "Senor governor, I will tell you in a very
+few words. Your worship must know that this gentleman has just now won
+more than a thousand reals in that gambling house opposite, and God
+knows how. I was there, and gave more than one doubtful point in his
+favour, very much against what my conscience told me. He made off with
+his winnings, and when I made sure he was going to give me a crown
+or so at least by way of a present, as it is usual and customary to
+give men of quality of my sort who stand by to see fair or foul
+play, and back up swindles, and prevent quarrels, he pocketed his
+money and left the house. Indignant at this I followed him, and
+speaking him fairly and civilly asked him to give me if it were only
+eight reals, for he knows I am an honest man and that I have neither
+profession nor property, for my parents never brought me up to any
+or left me any; but the rogue, who is a greater thief than Cacus and a
+greater sharper than Andradilla, would not give me more than four
+reals; so your worship may see how little shame and conscience he has.
+But by my faith if you had not come up I'd have made him disgorge
+his winnings, and he'd have learned what the range of the steel-yard
+was."</p>
+
+<p>"What say you to this?" asked Sancho. The other replied that all his
+antagonist said was true, and that he did not choose to give him
+more than four reals because he very often gave him money; and that
+those who expected presents ought to be civil and take what is given
+them with a cheerful countenance, and not make any claim against
+winners unless they know them for certain to be sharpers and their
+winnings to be unfairly won; and that there could be no better proof
+that he himself was an honest man than his having refused to give
+anything; for sharpers always pay tribute to lookers-on who know them.</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the majordomo; "let your worship consider
+what is to be done with these men."</p>
+
+<p>"What is to be done," said Sancho, "is this; you, the winner, be you
+good, bad, or indifferent, give this assailant of yours a hundred
+reals at once, and you must disburse thirty more for the poor
+prisoners; and you who have neither profession nor property, and
+hang about the island in idleness, take these hundred reals now, and
+some time of the day to-morrow quit the island under sentence of
+banishment for ten years, and under pain of completing it in another
+life if you violate the sentence, for I'll hang you on a gibbet, or at
+least the hangman will by my orders; not a word from either of you, or
+I'll make him feel my hand."</p>
+
+<p>The one paid down the money and the other took it, and the latter
+quitted the island, while the other went home; and then the governor
+said, "Either I am not good for much, or I'll get rid of these
+gambling houses, for it strikes me they are very mischievous."</p>
+
+<p>"This one at least," said one of the notaries, "your worship will
+not be able to get rid of, for a great man owns it, and what he
+loses every year is beyond all comparison more than what he makes by
+the cards. On the minor gambling houses your worship may exercise your
+power, and it is they that do most harm and shelter the most barefaced
+practices; for in the houses of lords and gentlemen of quality the
+notorious sharpers dare not attempt to play their tricks; and as the
+vice of gambling has become common, it is better that men should
+play in houses of repute than in some tradesman's, where they catch an
+unlucky fellow in the small hours of the morning and skin him alive."</p>
+
+<p>"I know already, notary, that there is a good deal to be said on
+that point," said Sancho.</p>
+
+<p>And now a tipstaff came up with a young man in his grasp, and
+said, "Senor governor, this youth was coming towards us, and as soon
+as he saw the officers of justice he turned about and ran like a deer,
+a sure proof that he must be some evil-doer; I ran after him, and
+had it not been that he stumbled and fell, I should never have
+caught him."</p>
+
+<p>"What did you run for, fellow?" said Sancho.</p>
+
+<p>To which the young man replied, "Senor, it was to avoid answering
+all the questions officers of justice put."</p>
+
+<p>"What are you by trade?"</p>
+
+<p>"A weaver."</p>
+
+<p>"And what do you weave?"</p>
+
+<p>"Lance heads, with your worship's good leave."</p>
+
+<p>"You're facetious with me! You plume yourself on being a wag? Very
+good; and where were you going just now?"</p>
+
+<p>"To take the air, senor."</p>
+
+<p>"And where does one take the air in this island?"</p>
+
+<p>"Where it blows."</p>
+
+<p>"Good! your answers are very much to the point; you are a smart
+youth; but take notice that I am the air, and that I blow upon you
+a-stern, and send you to gaol. Ho there! lay hold of him and take
+him off; I'll make him sleep there to-night without air."</p>
+
+<p>"By God," said the young man, "your worship will make me sleep in
+gaol just as soon as make me king."</p>
+
+<p>"Why shan't I make thee sleep in gaol?" said Sancho. "Have I not the
+power to arrest thee and release thee whenever I like?"</p>
+
+<p>"All the power your worship has," said the young man, "won't be able
+to make me sleep in gaol."</p>
+
+<p>"How? not able!" said Sancho; "take him away at once where he'll see
+his mistake with his own eyes, even if the gaoler is willing to
+exert his interested generosity on his behalf; for I'll lay a
+penalty of two thousand ducats on him if he allows him to stir a
+step from the prison."</p>
+
+<p>"That's ridiculous," said the young man; "the fact is, all the men
+on earth will not make me sleep in prison."</p>
+
+<p>"Tell me, you devil," said Sancho, "have you got any angel that will
+deliver you, and take off the irons I am going to order them to put
+upon you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Now, senor governor," said the young man in a sprightly manner,
+"let us be reasonable and come to the point. Granted your worship
+may order me to be taken to prison, and to have irons and chains put
+on me, and to be shut up in a cell, and may lay heavy penalties on the
+gaoler if he lets me out, and that he obeys your orders; still, if I
+don't choose to sleep, and choose to remain awake all night without
+closing an eye, will your worship with all your power be able to
+make me sleep if I don't choose?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, truly," said the secretary, "and the fellow has made his
+point."</p>
+
+<p>"So then," said Sancho, "it would be entirely of your own choice you
+would keep from sleeping; not in opposition to my will?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, senor," said the youth, "certainly not."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, go, and God be with you," said Sancho; "be off home to
+sleep, and God give you sound sleep, for I don't want to rob you of
+it; but for the future, let me advise you don't joke with the
+authorities, because you may come across some one who will bring
+down the joke on your own skull."</p>
+
+<p>The young man went his way, and the governor continued his round,
+and shortly afterwards two tipstaffs came up with a man in custody,
+and said, "Senor governor, this person, who seems to be a man, is
+not so, but a woman, and not an ill-favoured one, in man's clothes."
+They raised two or three lanterns to her face, and by their light they
+distinguished the features of a woman to all appearance of the age
+of sixteen or a little more, with her hair gathered into a gold and
+green silk net, and fair as a thousand pearls. They scanned her from
+head to foot, and observed that she had on red silk stockings with
+garters of white taffety bordered with gold and pearl; her breeches
+were of green and gold stuff, and under an open jacket or jerkin of
+the same she wore a doublet of the finest white and gold cloth; her
+shoes were white and such as men wear; she carried no sword at her
+belt, but only a richly ornamented dagger, and on her fingers she
+had several handsome rings. In short, the girl seemed fair to look
+at in the eyes of all, and none of those who beheld her knew her,
+the people of the town said they could not imagine who she was, and
+those who were in the secret of the jokes that were to be practised
+upon Sancho were the ones who were most surprised, for this incident
+or discovery had not been arranged by them; and they watched anxiously
+to see how the affair would end.</p>
+
+<p>Sancho was fascinated by the girl's beauty, and he asked her who she
+was, where she was going, and what had induced her to dress herself in
+that garb. She with her eyes fixed on the ground answered in modest
+confusion, "I cannot tell you, senor, before so many people what it is
+of such consequence to me to have kept secret; one thing I wish to
+be known, that I am no thief or evildoer, but only an unhappy maiden
+whom the power of jealousy has led to break through the respect that
+is due to modesty."</p>
+
+<p>Hearing this the majordomo said to Sancho, "Make the people stand
+back, senor governor, that this lady may say what she wishes with less
+embarrassment."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho gave the order, and all except the majordomo, the
+head-carver, and the secretary fell back. Finding herself then in
+the presence of no more, the damsel went on to say, "I am the
+daughter, sirs, of Pedro Perez Mazorca, the wool-farmer of this
+town, who is in the habit of coming very often to my father's house."</p>
+
+<p>"That won't do, senora," said the majordomo; "for I know Pedro Perez
+very well, and I know he has no child at all, either son or
+daughter; and besides, though you say he is your father, you add
+then that he comes very often to your father's house."</p>
+
+<p>"I had already noticed that," said Sancho.</p>
+
+<p>"I am confused just now, sirs," said the damsel, "and I don't know
+what I am saying; but the truth is that I am the daughter of Diego
+de la Llana, whom you must all know."</p>
+
+<p>"Ay, that will do," said the majordomo; "for I know Diego de la
+Llana, and know that he is a gentleman of position and a rich man, and
+that he has a son and a daughter, and that since he was left a widower
+nobody in all this town can speak of having seen his daughter's
+face; for he keeps her so closely shut up that he does not give even
+the sun a chance of seeing her; and for all that report says she is
+extremely beautiful."</p>
+
+<p>"It is true," said the damsel, "and I am that daughter; whether
+report lies or not as to my beauty, you, sirs, will have decided by
+this time, as you have seen me;" and with this she began to weep
+bitterly.</p>
+
+<p>On seeing this the secretary leant over to the head-carver's ear,
+and said to him in a low voice, "Something serious has no doubt
+happened this poor maiden, that she goes wandering from home in such a
+dress and at such an hour, and one of her rank too." "There can be
+no doubt about it," returned the carver, "and moreover her tears
+confirm your suspicion." Sancho gave her the best comfort he could,
+and entreated her to tell them without any fear what had happened her,
+as they would all earnestly and by every means in their power
+endeavour to relieve her.</p>
+
+<p>"The fact is, sirs," said she, "that my father has kept me shut up
+these ten years, for so long is it since the earth received my mother.
+Mass is said at home in a sumptuous chapel, and all this time I have
+seen but the sun in the heaven by day, and the moon and the stars by
+night; nor do I know what streets are like, or plazas, or churches, or
+even men, except my father and a brother I have, and Pedro Perez the
+wool-farmer; whom, because he came frequently to our house, I took
+it into my head to call my father, to avoid naming my own. This
+seclusion and the restrictions laid upon my going out, were it only to
+church, have been keeping me unhappy for many a day and month past;
+I longed to see the world, or at least the town where I was born,
+and it did not seem to me that this wish was inconsistent with the
+respect maidens of good quality should have for themselves. When I
+heard them talking of bull-fights taking place, and of javelin
+games, and of acting plays, I asked my brother, who is a year
+younger than myself, to tell me what sort of things these were, and
+many more that I had never seen; he explained them to me as well as he
+could, but the only effect was to kindle in me a still stronger desire
+to see them. At last, to cut short the story of my ruin, I begged
+and entreated my brother&mdash;O that I had never made such an entreaty-"
+And once more she gave way to a burst of weeping.</p>
+
+<p>"Proceed, senora," said the majordomo, "and finish your story of
+what has happened to you, for your words and tears are keeping us
+all in suspense."</p>
+
+<p>"I have but little more to say, though many a tear to shed," said
+the damsel; "for ill-placed desires can only be paid for in some
+such way."</p>
+
+<p>The maiden's beauty had made a deep impression on the
+head-carver's heart, and he again raised his lantern for another
+look at her, and thought they were not tears she was shedding, but
+seed-pearl or dew of the meadow, nay, he exalted them still higher,
+and made Oriental pearls of them, and fervently hoped her misfortune
+might not be so great a one as her tears and sobs seemed to
+indicate. The governor was losing patience at the length of time the
+girl was taking to tell her story, and told her not to keep them
+waiting any longer; for it was late, and there still remained a good
+deal of the town to be gone over.</p>
+
+<p>She, with broken sobs and half-suppressed sighs, went on to say, "My
+misfortune, my misadventure, is simply this, that I entreated my
+brother to dress me up as a man in a suit of his clothes, and take
+me some night, when our father was asleep, to see the whole town;
+he, overcome by my entreaties, consented, and dressing me in this suit
+and himself in clothes of mine that fitted him as if made for him (for
+he has not a hair on his chin, and might pass for a very beautiful
+young girl), to-night, about an hour ago, more or less, we left the
+house, and guided by our youthful and foolish impulse we made the
+circuit of the whole town, and then, as we were about to return
+home, we saw a great troop of people coming, and my brother said to
+me, 'Sister, this must be the round, stir your feet and put wings to
+them, and follow me as fast as you can, lest they recognise us, for
+that would be a bad business for us;' and so saying he turned about
+and began, I cannot say to run but to fly; in less than six paces I
+fell from fright, and then the officer of justice came up and
+carried me before your worships, where I find myself put to shame
+before all these people as whimsical and vicious."</p>
+
+<p>"So then, senora," said Sancho, "no other mishap has befallen you,
+nor was it jealousy that made you leave home, as you said at the
+beginning of your story?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing has happened me," said she, "nor was it jealousy that
+brought me out, but merely a longing to see the world, which did not
+go beyond seeing the streets of this town."</p>
+
+<p>The appearance of the tipstaffs with her brother in custody, whom
+one of them had overtaken as he ran away from his sister, now fully
+confirmed the truth of what the damsel said. He had nothing on but a
+rich petticoat and a short blue damask cloak with fine gold lace,
+and his head was uncovered and adorned only with its own hair, which
+looked like rings of gold, so bright and curly was it. The governor,
+the majordomo, and the carver went aside with him, and, unheard by his
+sister, asked him how he came to be in that dress, and he with no less
+shame and embarrassment told exactly the same story as his sister,
+to the great delight of the enamoured carver; the governor, however,
+said to them, "In truth, young lady and gentleman, this has been a
+very childish affair, and to explain your folly and rashness there was
+no necessity for all this delay and all these tears and sighs; for
+if you had said we are so-and-so, and we escaped from our father's
+house in this way in order to ramble about, out of mere curiosity
+and with no other object, there would have been an end of the
+matter, and none of these little sobs and tears and all the rest of
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the damsel, "but you see the confusion I was in
+was so great it did not let me behave as I ought."</p>
+
+<p>"No harm has been done," said Sancho; "come, we will leave you at
+your father's house; perhaps they will not have missed you; and
+another time don't be so childish or eager to see the world; for a
+respectable damsel should have a broken leg and keep at home; and
+the woman and the hen by gadding about are soon lost; and she who is
+eager to see is also eager to be seen; I say no more."</p>
+
+<p>The youth thanked the governor for his kind offer to take them home,
+and they directed their steps towards the house, which was not far
+off. On reaching it the youth threw a pebble up at a grating, and
+immediately a woman-servant who was waiting for them came down and
+opened the door to them, and they went in, leaving the party
+marvelling as much at their grace and beauty as at the fancy they
+had for seeing the world by night and without quitting the village;
+which, however, they set down to their youth.</p>
+
+<p>The head-carver was left with a heart pierced through and through,
+and he made up his mind on the spot to demand the damsel in marriage
+of her father on the morrow, making sure she would not be refused
+him as he was a servant of the duke's; and even to Sancho ideas and
+schemes of marrying the youth to his daughter Sanchica suggested
+themselves, and he resolved to open the negotiation at the proper
+season, persuading himself that no husband could be refused to a
+governor's daughter. And so the night's round came to an end, and a
+couple of days later the government, whereby all his plans were
+overthrown and swept away, as will be seen farther on.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p49e"></a><img alt="p49e.jpg (55K)" src="images/p49e.jpg" height="647" width="487">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch50b"></a>CHAPTER L.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>WHEREIN IS SET FORTH WHO THE ENCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS WERE WHO
+FLOGGED THE DUENNA AND PINCHED DON QUIXOTE, AND ALSO WHAT BEFELL THE
+PAGE WHO CARRIED THE LETTER TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO PANZA'S WIFE
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p50a"></a><img alt="p50a.jpg (104K)" src="images/p50a.jpg" height="386" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p50a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Cide Hamete, the painstaking investigator of the minute points of
+this veracious history, says that when Dona Rodriguez left her own
+room to go to Don Quixote's, another duenna who slept with her
+observed her, and as all duennas are fond of prying, listening, and
+sniffing, she followed her so silently that the good Rodriguez never
+perceived it; and as soon as the duenna saw her enter Don Quixote's
+room, not to fail in a duenna's invariable practice of tattling, she
+hurried off that instant to report to the duchess how Dona Rodriguez
+was closeted with Don Quixote. The duchess told the duke, and asked
+him to let her and Altisidora go and see what the said duenna wanted
+with Don Quixote. The duke gave them leave, and the pair cautiously
+and quietly crept to the door of the room and posted themselves so
+close to it that they could hear all that was said inside. But when
+the duchess heard how the Rodriguez had made public the Aranjuez of
+her issues she could not restrain herself, nor Altisidora either;
+and so, filled with rage and thirsting for vengeance, they burst
+into the room and tormented Don Quixote and flogged the duenna in
+the manner already described; for indignities offered to their
+charms and self-esteem mightily provoke the anger of women and make
+them eager for revenge. The duchess told the duke what had happened,
+and he was much amused by it; and she, in pursuance of her design of
+making merry and diverting herself with Don Quixote, despatched the
+page who had played the part of Dulcinea in the negotiations for her
+disenchantment (which Sancho Panza in the cares of government had
+forgotten all about) to Teresa Panza his wife with her husband's
+letter and another from herself, and also a great string of fine coral
+beads as a present.</p>
+
+<p>Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted;
+and eager to serve his lord and lady he set off very willingly for
+Sancho's village. Before he entered it he observed a number of women
+washing in a brook, and asked them if they could tell him whether
+there lived there a woman of the name of Teresa Panza, wife of one
+Sancho Panza, squire to a knight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At
+the question a young girl who was washing stood up and said, "Teresa
+Panza is my mother, and that Sancho is my father, and that knight is
+our master."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, miss," said the page, "come and show me where your
+mother is, for I bring her a letter and a present from your father."</p>
+
+<p>"That I will with all my heart, senor," said the girl, who seemed to
+be about fourteen, more or less; and leaving the clothes she was
+washing to one of her companions, and without putting anything on
+her head or feet, for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging
+about her, away she skipped in front of the page's horse, saying,
+"Come, your worship, our house is at the entrance of the town, and
+my mother is there, sorrowful enough at not having had any news of
+my father this ever so long."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said the page, "I am bringing her such good news that she
+will have reason to thank God."</p>
+
+<p>And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the
+town, but before going into the house she called out at the door,
+"Come out, mother Teresa, come out, come out; here's a gentleman
+with letters and other things from my good father." At these words her
+mother Teresa Panza came out spinning a bundle of flax, in a grey
+petticoat (so short was it one would have fancied "they to her shame
+had cut it short"), a grey bodice of the same stuff, and a smock.
+She was not very old, though plainly past forty, strong, healthy,
+vigorous, and sun-dried; and seeing her daughter and the page on
+horseback, she exclaimed, "What's this, child? What gentleman is
+this?"</p>
+
+<p>"A servant of my lady, Dona Teresa Panza," replied the page; and
+suiting the action to the word he flung himself off his horse, and
+with great humility advanced to kneel before the lady Teresa,
+saying, "Let me kiss your hand, Senora Dona Teresa, as the lawful
+and only wife of Senor Don Sancho Panza, rightful governor of the
+island of Barataria."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, senor, get up, do that," said Teresa; "for I'm not a bit of a
+court lady, but only a poor country woman, the daughter of a
+clodcrusher, and the wife of a squire-errant and not of any governor
+at all."</p>
+
+<p>"You are," said the page, "the most worthy wife of a most
+arch-worthy governor; and as a proof of what I say accept this
+letter and this present;" and at the same time he took out of his
+pocket a string of coral beads with gold clasps, and placed it on
+her neck, and said, "This letter is from his lordship the governor,
+and the other as well as these coral beads from my lady the duchess,
+who sends me to your worship."</p>
+
+<p>Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much,
+and the girl said, "May I die but our master Don Quixote's at the
+bottom of this; he must have given father the government or county
+he so often promised him."</p>
+
+<p>"That is the truth," said the page; "for it is through Senor Don
+Quixote that Senor Sancho is now governor of the island of
+Barataria, as will be seen by this letter."</p>
+
+<p>"Will your worship read it to me, noble sir?" said Teresa; "for
+though I can spin I can't read, not a scrap."</p>
+
+<p>"Nor I either," said Sanchica; "but wait a bit, and I'll go and
+fetch some one who can read it, either the curate himself or the
+bachelor Samson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news
+of my father."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no need to fetch anybody," said the page; "for though I
+can't spin I can read, and I'll read it;" and so he read it through,
+but as it has been already given it is not inserted here; and then
+he took out the other one from the duchess, which ran as follows:</p>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>Friend Teresa,&mdash;Your husband Sancho's good qualities, of heart as
+well as of head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the
+duke to give him the government of one of his many islands. I am
+told he governs like a gerfalcon, of which I am very glad, and my lord
+the duke, of course, also; and I am very thankful to heaven that I
+have not made a mistake in choosing him for that same government;
+for I would have Senora Teresa know that a good governor is hard to
+find in this world and may God make me as good as Sancho's way of
+governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, a string of coral beads
+with gold clasps; I wish they were Oriental pearls; but "he who
+gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead;" a time will come
+when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but God knows
+the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from me
+to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for
+her when she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in
+your village; send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value
+them greatly as coming from your hand; and write to me at length to
+assure me of your health and well-being; and if there be anything
+you stand in need of, it is but to open your mouth, and that shall
+be the measure; and so God keep you.</p>
+
+<p>From this place.
+Your loving friend,
+THE DUCHESS.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>"Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" said Teresa when she heard the
+letter; "that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not the
+gentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy because they are
+gentlewomen the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as
+much airs as if they were queens, no less, and seem to think they
+are disgraced if they look at a farmer's wife! And see here how this
+good lady, for all she's a duchess, calls me 'friend,' and treats me
+as if I was her equal&mdash;and equal may I see her with the tallest
+church-tower in La Mancha! And as for the acorns, senor, I'll send her
+ladyship a peck and such big ones that one might come to see them as a
+show and a wonder. And now, Sanchica, see that the gentleman is
+comfortable; put up his horse, and get some eggs out of the stable,
+and cut plenty of bacon, and let's give him his dinner like a
+prince; for the good news he has brought, and his own bonny face
+deserve it all; and meanwhile I'll run out and give the neighbours the
+news of our good luck, and father curate, and Master Nicholas the
+barber, who are and always have been such friends of thy father's."</p>
+
+<p>"That I will, mother," said Sanchica; "but mind, you must give me
+half of that string; for I don't think my lady the duchess could
+have been so stupid as to send it all to you."</p>
+
+<p>"It is all for thee, my child," said Teresa; "but let me wear it
+round my neck for a few days; for verily it seems to make my heart
+glad."</p>
+
+<p>"You will be glad too," said the page, "when you see the bundle
+there is in this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth,
+that the governor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for
+Senora Sanchica."</p>
+
+<p>"May he live a thousand years," said Sanchica, "and the bearer as
+many, nay two thousand, if needful."</p>
+
+<p>With this Teresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with
+the string of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the
+letters as if they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across
+the curate and Samson Carrasco she began capering and saying, "None of
+us poor now, faith! We've got a little government! Ay, let the
+finest fine lady tackle me, and I'll give her a setting down!"</p>
+
+<p>"What's all this, Teresa Panza," said they; "what madness is this,
+and what papers are those?"</p>
+
+<p>"The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters of
+duchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coral
+beads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am a
+governess."</p>
+
+<p>"God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, or
+know what you are talking about."</p>
+
+<p>"There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed them
+the letters.</p>
+
+<p>The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and
+he regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had
+read, and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa in
+reply bade them come with her to her house and they would see the
+messenger, a most elegant youth, who had brought another present which
+was worth as much more. The curate took the coral beads from her
+neck and examined them again and again, and having satisfied himself
+as to their fineness he fell to wondering afresh, and said, "By the
+gown I wear I don't know what to say or think of these letters and
+presents; on the one hand I can see and feel the fineness of these
+coral beads, and on the other I read how a duchess sends to beg for
+a couple of dozen of acorns."</p>
+
+<p>"Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see the
+messenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery
+that has turned up."</p>
+
+<p>They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the page
+sifting a little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher
+of bacon to be paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his
+handsome apparel pleased them both greatly; and after they had saluted
+him courteously, and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news,
+as well of Don Quixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though they
+had read the letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they
+were still puzzled and could not make out what was meant by Sancho's
+government, and above all of an island, when all or most of those in
+the Mediterranean belonged to his Majesty.</p>
+
+<p>To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being a
+governor there is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island or
+not that he governs, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it that
+it is a town of more than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to the
+acorns I may tell you my lady the duchess is so unpretending and
+unassuming that, not to speak of sending to beg for acorns from a
+peasant woman, she has been known to send to ask for the loan of a
+comb from one of her neighbours; for I would have your worships know
+that the ladies of Aragon, though they are just as illustrious, are
+not so punctilious and haughty as the Castilian ladies; they treat
+people with greater familiarity."</p>
+
+<p>In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt
+full of eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does my
+father wear trunk-hose since he has been governor?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see my
+father in tights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a
+longing to see my father in trunk-hose?"</p>
+
+<p>"As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by God
+he is in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the government
+only lasts him two months more."</p>
+
+<p>The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page
+spoke in a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, and
+the hunting suit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown it
+to them) did away with the impression; and they could not help
+laughing at Sanchica's wish, and still more when Teresa said, "Senor
+curate, look about if there's anybody here going to Madrid or
+Toledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, a proper fashionable one of
+the best quality; for indeed and indeed I must do honour to my
+husband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am put to it and have
+to, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world; for she who
+has a governor for her husband may very well have one and keep one."</p>
+
+<p>"And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-day
+instead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw me
+seated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, that
+garlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease
+in a coach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through the
+mud, and let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck
+to backbiters all over the world; 'let me go warm and the people may
+laugh.' Do I say right, mother?"</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck,
+and even more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, my
+daughter, he won't stop till he has made me a countess; for to make
+a beginning is everything in luck; and as I have heard thy good father
+say many a time (for besides being thy father he's the father of
+proverbs too), 'When they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; when
+they offer thee a government, take it; when they would give thee a
+county, seize it; when they say, "Here, here!" to thee with
+something good, swallow it.' Oh no! go to sleep, and don't answer
+the strokes of good fortune and the lucky chances that are knocking at
+the door of your house!"</p>
+
+<p>"And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says when
+he sees me holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempen
+breeches,' and the rest of it?"</p>
+
+<p>Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this family
+of the Panzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides,
+every one of them; I never saw one of them that does not pour them out
+at all times and on all occasions."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho utters
+them at every turn; and though a great many of them are not to the
+purpose, still they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke
+praise them highly."</p>
+
+<p>"Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government
+is true, senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is a
+duchess who sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although
+we have handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and
+suspect it to be something in the line of our fellow-townsman Don
+Quixote, who fancies that everything is done by enchantment; and for
+this reason I am almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel
+your worship to see whether you are a mere ambassador of the
+imagination or a man of flesh and blood."</p>
+
+<p>"All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a real
+ambassador, and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter of
+fact, and that my lord and lady the duke and duchess can give, and
+have given him this same government, and that I have heard the said
+Sancho Panza bears himself very stoutly therein; whether there be
+any enchantment in all this or not, it is for your worships to settle
+between you; for that's all I know by the oath I swear, and that is by
+the life of my parents whom I have still alive, and love dearly."</p>
+
+<p>"It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus."</p>
+
+<p>"Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth,
+and that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if not
+operibus credite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and he
+will see with his eyes what he does not believe with his ears."</p>
+
+<p>"It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you,
+senor, behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart to
+see my father."</p>
+
+<p>"Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along the
+roads alone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number
+of attendants."</p>
+
+<p>"By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-ass
+as in a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!"</p>
+
+<p>"Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talking
+about; the gentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so the
+behaviour;' when it was Sancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governor
+it's 'senora;' I don't know if I'm right."</p>
+
+<p>"Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page;
+"and now give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to
+return this evening."</p>
+
+<p>"Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "for
+Senora Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest."</p>
+
+<p>The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; and
+the curate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have an
+opportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and his
+doings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa;
+but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for she
+thought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and a
+couple of eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote for
+her two letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess,
+dictated out of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this
+great history, as will be seen farther on.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p50e"></a><img alt="p50e.jpg (19K)" src="images/p50e.jpg" height="347" width="385">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch51b"></a>CHAPTER LI.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCH
+ENTERTAINING MATTERS
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p51a"></a><img alt="p51a.jpg (188K)" src="images/p51a.jpg" height="434" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p51a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<p>Day came after the night of the governor's round; a night which
+the head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the
+face and air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomo
+spent what was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady
+of all Sancho said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as
+at his doings, for there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in
+all his words and deeds. The senor governor got up, and by Doctor
+Pedro Recio's directions they made him break his fast on a little
+conserve and four sups of cold water, which Sancho would have
+readily exchanged for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes; but
+seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with no little sorrow of
+heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having persuaded him that
+light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that was what was most
+essential for persons placed in command and in responsible situations,
+where they have to employ not only the bodily powers but those of
+the mind also.</p>
+
+<p>By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, and
+hunger so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and even
+him who had given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conserve
+he undertook to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that
+came before him was a question that was submitted to him by a
+stranger, in the presence of the majordomo and the other attendants,
+and it was in these words: "Senor, a large river separated two
+districts of one and the same lordship&mdash;will your worship please to
+pay attention, for the case is an important and a rather knotty one?
+Well then, on this river there was a bridge, and at one end of it a
+gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where four judges commonly sat to
+administer the law which the lord of river, bridge and the lordship
+had enacted, and which was to this effect, 'If anyone crosses by
+this bridge from one side to the other he shall declare on oath
+where he is going to and with what object; and if he swears truly,
+he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put to
+death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without any
+remission.' Though the law and its severe penalty were known, many
+persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at
+once they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free.
+It happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his
+declaration, swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to
+die upon that gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judges
+held a consultation over the oath, and they said, 'If we let this
+man pass free he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die;
+but if we hang him, as he swore he was going to die on that gallows,
+and therefore swore the truth, by the same law he ought to go free.'
+It is asked of your worship, senor governor, what are the judges to do
+with this man? For they are still in doubt and perplexity; and
+having heard of your worship's acute and exalted intellect, they
+have sent me to entreat your worship on their behalf to give your
+opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case."</p>
+
+<p>To this Sancho made answer, "Indeed those gentlemen the judges
+that send you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I
+have more of the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case over
+again, so that I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able
+to hit the point."</p>
+
+<p>The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, and
+then Sancho said, "It seems to me I can set the matter right in a
+moment, and in this way; the man swears that he is going to die upon
+the gallows; but if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and by
+the law enacted deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but if
+they don't hang him, then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law
+deserves to be hanged."</p>
+
+<p>"It is as the senor governor says," said the messenger; "and as
+regards a complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left to
+desire or hesitate about."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they should let
+pass the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied;
+and in this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied
+with."</p>
+
+<p>"But then, senor governor," replied the querist, "the man will
+have to be divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course he
+will die; and so none of the requirements of the law will be carried
+out, and it is absolutely necessary to comply with it."</p>
+
+<p>"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull or
+else there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his
+living and passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the
+falsehood equally condemns him; and that being the case it is my
+opinion you should say to the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the
+arguments for condemning him and for absolving him are exactly
+balanced, they should let him pass freely, as it is always more
+praiseworthy to do good than to do evil; this I would give signed with
+my name if I knew how to sign; and what I have said in this case is
+not out of my own head, but one of the many precepts my master Don
+Quixote gave me the night before I left to become governor of this
+island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that when there was
+any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to mercy; and it
+is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits this case as
+if it was made for it."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the majordomo; "and I maintain that Lycurgus
+himself, who gave laws to the Lacedemonians, could not have pronounced
+a better decision than the great Panza has given; let the morning's
+audience close with this, and I will see that the senor governor has
+dinner entirely to his liking."</p>
+
+<p>"That's all I ask for&mdash;fair play," said Sancho; "give me my
+dinner, and then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I'll
+despatch them in a twinkling."</p>
+
+<p>The majordomo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience
+to kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as he intended to
+have done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was
+commissioned to practise upon him.</p>
+
+<p>It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in
+opposition to the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as they
+were taking away the cloth there came a courier with a letter from Don
+Quixote for the governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to
+himself, and if there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy to
+read it aloud. The secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the
+contents he said, "It may well be read aloud, for what Senor Don
+Quixote writes to your worship deserves to be printed or written in
+letters of gold, and it is as follows."</p>
+
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA'S LETTER TO SANCHO PANZA,
+GOVERNOR OF THE ISLAND OF BARATARIA.</p>
+
+<p>
+When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend
+Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense,
+for which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from
+the dunghill and of fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost
+govern as if thou wert a man, and art a man as if thou wert a beast,
+so great is the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I
+would have thee bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting
+and necessary for the authority of office to resist the humility of
+the heart; for the seemly array of one who is invested with grave
+duties should be such as they require and not measured by what his own
+humble tastes may lead him to prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up
+does not look like a stick; I do not say thou shouldst wear trinkets
+or fine raiment, or that being a judge thou shouldst dress like a
+soldier, but that thou shouldst array thyself in the apparel thy
+office requires, and that at the same time it be neat and handsome. To
+win the good-will of the people thou governest there are two things,
+among others, that thou must do; one is to be civil to all (this,
+however, I told thee before), and the other to take care that food
+be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the poor
+more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations; but
+those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that
+they be observed and carried out; for proclamations that are not
+observed are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they encourage
+the idea that the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them
+had not the power to enforce them; and laws that threaten and are
+not enforced come to be like the log, the king of the frogs, that
+frightened them at first, but that in time they despised and mounted
+upon. Be a father to virtue and a stepfather to vice. Be not always
+strict, nor yet always lenient, but observe a mean between these two
+extremes, for in that is the aim of wisdom. Visit the gaols, the
+slaughter-houses, and the market-places; for the presence of the
+governor is of great importance in such places; it comforts the
+prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release, it is the bugbear of
+the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the terror
+of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that
+thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe)
+covetous, a follower of women, or a glutton; for when the people and
+those that have dealings with thee become aware of thy special
+weakness they will bring their batteries to bear upon thee in that
+quarter, till they have brought thee down to the depths of
+perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and con over again the advices
+and the instructions I gave thee before thy departure hence to thy
+government, and thou wilt see that in them, if thou dost follow
+them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for thee the troubles
+and difficulties that beset governors at every step. Write to thy lord
+and lady and show thyself grateful to them, for ingratitude is the
+daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we know of; and he who
+is grateful to those who have been good to him shows that he will be
+so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many blessings
+upon him.</p>
+
+<p>My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another
+present to thy wife Teresa Panza; we expect the answer every moment. I
+have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in
+for, not very much to the benefit of my nose; but it was nothing;
+for if there are enchanters who maltreat me, there are also some who
+defend me. Let me know if the majordomo who is with thee had any share
+in the Trifaldi performance, as thou didst suspect; and keep me
+informed of everything that happens thee, as the distance is so short;
+all the more as I am thinking of giving over very shortly this idle
+life I am now leading, for I was not born for it. A thing has occurred
+to me which I am inclined to think will put me out of favour with
+the duke and duchess; but though I am sorry for it I do not care,
+for after all I must obey my calling rather than their pleasure, in
+accordance with the common saying, amicus Plato, sed magis amica
+veritas. I quote this Latin to thee because I conclude that since thou
+hast been a governor thou wilt have learned it. Adieu; God keep thee
+from being an object of pity to anyone.</p>
+
+<p>Thy friend,
+DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was
+praised and considered wise by all who heard it; he then rose up
+from table, and calling his secretary shut himself in with him in
+his own room, and without putting it off any longer set about
+answering his master Don Quixote at once; and he bade the secretary
+write down what he told him without adding or suppressing anything,
+which he did, and the answer was to the following effect.</p>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA.</p>
+
+<p>
+The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time
+to scratch my head or even to cut my nails; and I have them so
+long&mdash;God send a remedy for it. I say this, master of my soul, that you
+may not be surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I
+fare, well or ill, in this government, in which I am suffering more
+hunger than when we two were wandering through the woods and wastes.</p>
+
+<p>My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain
+spies had got into this island to kill me; but up to the present I
+have not found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary
+in this town for killing all the governors that come here; he is
+called Doctor Pedro Recio, and is from Tirteafuera; so you see what
+a name he has to make me dread dying under his hands. This doctor says
+of himself that he does not cure diseases when there are any, but
+prevents them coming, and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet
+until he brings one down to bare bones; as if leanness was not worse
+than fever.</p>
+
+<p>In short he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying myself of
+vexation; for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my
+meat hot and my drink cool, and take my ease between holland sheets on
+feather beds, I find I have come to do penance as if I was a hermit;
+and as I don't do it willingly I suspect that in the end the devil
+will carry me off.</p>
+
+<p>So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes, and I
+don't know what to think of it; for here they tell me that the
+governors that come to this island, before entering it have plenty
+of money either given to them or lent to them by the people of the
+town, and that this is the usual custom not only here but with all who
+enter upon governments.</p>
+
+<p>Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in man's
+clothes, and a brother of hers dressed as a woman; my head-carver
+has fallen in love with the girl, and has in his own mind chosen her
+for a wife, so he says, and I have chosen youth for a son-in-law;
+to-day we are going to explain our intentions to the father of the
+pair, who is one Diego de la Llana, a gentleman and an old Christian
+as much as you please.</p>
+
+<p>I have visited the market-places, as your worship advises me, and
+yesterday I found a stall-keeper selling new hazel nuts and proved her
+to have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of
+new; I confiscated the whole for the children of the charity-school,
+who will know how to distinguish them well enough, and I sentenced her
+not to come into the market-place for a fortnight; they told me I
+did bravely. I can tell your worship it is commonly said in this
+town that there are no people worse than the market-women, for they
+are all barefaced, unconscionable, and impudent, and I can well
+believe it from what I have seen of them in other towns.</p>
+
+<p>I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife Teresa
+Panza and sent her the present your worship speaks of; and I will
+strive to show myself grateful when the time comes; kiss her hands for
+me, and tell her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole
+in it, as she will see in the end. I should not like your worship to
+have any difference with my lord and lady; for if you fall out with
+them it is plain it must do me harm; and as you give me advice to be
+grateful it will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to
+those who have shown you such kindness, and by whom you have been
+treated so hospitably in their castle.</p>
+
+<p>That about the scratching I don't understand; but I suppose it
+must be one of the ill-turns the wicked enchanters are always doing
+your worship; when we meet I shall know all about it. I wish I could
+send your worship something; but I don't know what to send, unless
+it be some very curious clyster pipes, to work with bladders, that
+they make in this island; but if the office remains with me I'll
+find out something to send, one way or another. If my wife Teresa
+Panza writes to me, pay the postage and send me the letter, for I have
+a very great desire to hear how my house and wife and children are
+going on. And so, may God deliver your worship from evil-minded
+enchanters, and bring me well and peacefully out of this government,
+which I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life
+together, from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me.</p>
+
+<p>Your worship's servant
+SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>The secretary sealed the letter, and immediately dismissed the
+courier; and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho
+putting their heads together arranged how he was to be dismissed
+from the government. Sancho spent the afternoon in drawing up
+certain ordinances relating to the good government of what he
+fancied the island; and he ordained that there were to be no provision
+hucksters in the State, and that men might import wine into it from
+any place they pleased, provided they declared the quarter it came
+from, so that a price might be put upon it according to its quality,
+reputation, and the estimation it was held in; and he that watered his
+wine, or changed the name, was to forfeit his life for it. He
+reduced the prices of all manner of shoes, boots, and stockings, but
+of shoes in particular, as they seemed to him to run extravagantly
+high. He established a fixed rate for servants' wages, which were
+becoming recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon
+those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night. He
+decreed that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse,
+unless he could produce authentic evidence that it was true, for it
+was his opinion that most of those the blind men sing are trumped
+up, to the detriment of the true ones. He established and created an
+alguacil of the poor, not to harass them, but to examine them and
+see whether they really were so; for many a sturdy thief or drunkard
+goes about under cover of a make-believe crippled limb or a sham sore.
+In a word, he made so many good rules that to this day they are
+preserved there, and are called The constitutions of the great
+governor Sancho Panza.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p51e"></a><img alt="p51e.jpg (32K)" src="images/p51e.jpg" height="513" width="487">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch52b"></a>CHAPTER LII.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>WHEREIN IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND DISTRESSED OR
+AFFLICTED DUENNA, OTHERWISE CALLED DONA RODRIGUEZ
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p52a"></a><img alt="p52a.jpg (131K)" src="images/p52a.jpg" height="461" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p52a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Cide Hamete relates that Don Quixote being now cured of his
+scratches felt that the life he was leading in the castle was entirely
+inconsistent with the order of chivalry he professed, so he determined
+to ask the duke and duchess to permit him to take his departure for
+Saragossa, as the time of the festival was now drawing near, and he
+hoped to win there the suit of armour which is the prize at
+festivals of the sort. But one day at table with the duke and duchess,
+just as he was about to carry his resolution into effect and ask for
+their permission, lo and behold suddenly there came in through the
+door of the great hall two women, as they afterwards proved to be,
+draped in mourning from head to foot, one of whom approaching Don
+Quixote flung herself at full length at his feet, pressing her lips to
+them, and uttering moans so sad, so deep, and so doleful that she
+put all who heard and saw her into a state of perplexity; and though
+the duke and duchess supposed it must be some joke their servants were
+playing off upon Don Quixote, still the earnest way the woman sighed
+and moaned and wept puzzled them and made them feel uncertain, until
+Don Quixote, touched with compassion, raised her up and made her
+unveil herself and remove the mantle from her tearful face. She
+complied and disclosed what no one could have ever anticipated, for
+she disclosed the countenance of Dona Rodriguez, the duenna of the
+house; the other female in mourning being her daughter, who had been
+made a fool of by the rich farmer's son. All who knew her were
+filled with astonishment, and the duke and duchess more than any;
+for though they thought her a simpleton and a weak creature, they
+did not think her capable of crazy pranks. Dona Rodriguez, at
+length, turning to her master and mistress said to them, "Will your
+excellences be pleased to permit me to speak to this gentleman for a
+moment, for it is requisite I should do so in order to get
+successfully out of the business in which the boldness of an
+evil-minded clown has involved me?"</p>
+
+<p>The duke said that for his part he gave her leave, and that she
+might speak with Senor Don Quixote as much as she liked.</p>
+
+<p>She then, turning to Don Quixote and addressing herself to him said,
+"Some days since, valiant knight, I gave you an account of the
+injustice and treachery of a wicked farmer to my dearly beloved
+daughter, the unhappy damsel here before you, and you promised me to
+take her part and right the wrong that has been done her; but now it
+has come to my hearing that you are about to depart from this castle
+in quest of such fair adventures as God may vouchsafe to you;
+therefore, before you take the road, I would that you challenge this
+froward rustic, and compel him to marry my daughter in fulfillment
+of the promise he gave her to become her husband before he seduced
+her; for to expect that my lord the duke will do me justice is to
+ask pears from the elm tree, for the reason I stated privately to your
+worship; and so may our Lord grant you good health and forsake us
+not."</p>
+
+<p>To these words Don Quixote replied very gravely and solemnly,
+"Worthy duenna, check your tears, or rather dry them, and spare your
+sighs, for I take it upon myself to obtain redress for your
+daughter, for whom it would have been better not to have been so ready
+to believe lovers' promises, which are for the most part quickly
+made and very slowly performed; and so, with my lord the duke's leave,
+I will at once go in quest of this inhuman youth, and will find him
+out and challenge him and slay him, if so be he refuses to keep his
+promised word; for the chief object of my profession is to spare the
+humble and chastise the proud; I mean, to help the distressed and
+destroy the oppressors."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no necessity," said the duke, "for your worship to take
+the trouble of seeking out the rustic of whom this worthy duenna
+complains, nor is there any necessity, either, for asking my leave
+to challenge him; for I admit him duly challenged, and will take
+care that he is informed of the challenge, and accepts it, and comes
+to answer it in person to this castle of mine, where I shall afford to
+both a fair field, observing all the conditions which are usually
+and properly observed in such trials, and observing too justice to
+both sides, as all princes who offer a free field to combatants within
+the limits of their lordships are bound to do."</p>
+
+<p>"Then with that assurance and your highness's good leave," said
+Don Quixote, "I hereby for this once waive my privilege of gentle
+blood, and come down and put myself on a level with the lowly birth of
+the wrong-doer, making myself equal with him and enabling him to enter
+into combat with me; and so, I challenge and defy him, though
+absent, on the plea of his malfeasance in breaking faith with this
+poor damsel, who was a maiden and now by his misdeed is none; and
+say that he shall fulfill the promise he gave her to become her lawful
+husband, or else stake his life upon the question."</p>
+
+<p>And then plucking off a glove he threw it down in the middle of
+the hall, and the duke picked it up, saying, as he had said before,
+that he accepted the challenge in the name of his vassal, and fixed
+six days thence as the time, the courtyard of the castle as the place,
+and for arms the customary ones of knights, lance and shield and
+full armour, with all the other accessories, without trickery,
+guile, or charms of any sort, and examined and passed by the judges of
+the field. "But first of all," he said, "it is requisite that this
+worthy duenna and unworthy damsel should place their claim for justice
+in the hands of Don Quixote; for otherwise nothing can be done, nor
+can the said challenge be brought to a lawful issue."</p>
+
+<p>"I do so place it," replied the duenna.</p>
+
+<p>"And I too," added her daughter, all in tears and covered with shame
+and confusion.</p>
+
+<p>This declaration having been made, and the duke having settled in
+his own mind what he would do in the matter, the ladies in black
+withdrew, and the duchess gave orders that for the future they were
+not to be treated as servants of hers, but as lady adventurers who
+came to her house to demand justice; so they gave them a room to
+themselves and waited on them as they would on strangers, to the
+consternation of the other women-servants, who did not know where
+the folly and imprudence of Dona Rodriguez and her unlucky daughter
+would stop.</p>
+
+<p>And now, to complete the enjoyment of the feast and bring the dinner
+to a satisfactory end, lo and behold the page who had carried the
+letters and presents to Teresa Panza, the wife of the governor Sancho,
+entered the hall; and the duke and duchess were very well pleased to
+see him, being anxious to know the result of his journey; but when
+they asked him the page said in reply that he could not give it before
+so many people or in a few words, and begged their excellences to be
+pleased to let it wait for a private opportunity, and in the
+meantime amuse themselves with these letters; and taking out the
+letters he placed them in the duchess's hand. One bore by way of
+address, Letter for my lady the Duchess So-and-so, of I don't know
+where; and the other To my husband Sancho Panza, governor of the
+island of Barataria, whom God prosper longer than me. The duchess's
+bread would not bake, as the saying is, until she had read her letter;
+and having looked over it herself and seen that it might be read aloud
+for the duke and all present to hear, she read out as follows.</p>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO THE DUCHESS.</p>
+
+<p>The letter your highness wrote me, my lady, gave me great
+pleasure, for indeed I found it very welcome. The string of coral
+beads is very fine, and my husband's hunting suit does not fall
+short of it. All this village is very much pleased that your
+ladyship has made a governor of my good man Sancho; though nobody will
+believe it, particularly the curate, and Master Nicholas the barber,
+and the bachelor Samson Carrasco; but I don't care for that, for so
+long as it is true, as it is, they may all say what they like; though,
+to tell the truth, if the coral beads and the suit had not come I
+would not have believed it either; for in this village everybody
+thinks my husband a numskull, and except for governing a flock of
+goats, they cannot fancy what sort of government he can be fit for.
+God grant it, and direct him according as he sees his children stand
+in need of it. I am resolved with your worship's leave, lady of my
+soul, to make the most of this fair day, and go to Court to stretch
+myself at ease in a coach, and make all those I have envying me
+already burst their eyes out; so I beg your excellence to order my
+husband to send me a small trifle of money, and to let it be something
+to speak of, because one's expenses are heavy at the Court; for a loaf
+costs a real, and meat thirty maravedis a pound, which is beyond
+everything; and if he does not want me to go let him tell me in
+time, for my feet are on the fidgets to be off; and my friends and
+neighbours tell me that if my daughter and I make a figure and a brave
+show at Court, my husband will come to be known far more by me than
+I by him, for of course plenty of people will ask, "Who are those
+ladies in that coach?" and some servant of mine will answer, "The wife
+and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor of the island of Barataria;"
+and in this way Sancho will become known, and I'll be thought well of,
+and "to Rome for everything." I am as vexed as vexed can be that
+they have gathered no acorns this year in our village; for all that
+I send your highness about half a peck that I went to the wood to
+gather and pick out one by one myself, and I could find no bigger
+ones; I wish they were as big as ostrich eggs.</p>
+
+<p>Let not your high mightiness forget to write to me; and I will
+take care to answer, and let you know how I am, and whatever news
+there may be in this place, where I remain, praying our Lord to have
+your highness in his keeping and not to forget me.</p>
+
+<p>Sancha my daughter, and my son, kiss your worship's hands.</p>
+
+<p>She who would rather see your ladyship than write to you,</p>
+
+<p>Your servant,
+<br>TERESA PANZA.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>All were greatly amused by Teresa Panza's letter, but particularly
+the duke and duchess; and the duchess asked Don Quixote's opinion
+whether they might open the letter that had come for the governor,
+which she suspected must be very good. Don Quixote said that to
+gratify them he would open it, and did so, and found that it ran as
+follows.</p>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND SANCHO PANZA.</p>
+
+<p>I got thy letter, Sancho of my soul, and I promise thee and swear as
+a Catholic Christian that I was within two fingers' breadth of going
+mad I was so happy. I can tell thee, brother, when I came to hear that
+thou wert a governor I thought I should have dropped dead with pure
+joy; and thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as great
+sorrow; and as for Sanchica thy daughter, she leaked from sheer
+happiness. I had before me the suit thou didst send me, and the
+coral beads my lady the duchess sent me round my neck, and the letters
+in my hands, and there was the bearer of them standing by, and in
+spite of all this I verily believed and thought that what I saw and
+handled was all a dream; for who could have thought that a goatherd
+would come to be a governor of islands? Thou knowest, my friend,
+what my mother used to say, that one must live long to see much; I say
+it because I expect to see more if I live longer; for I don't expect
+to stop until I see thee a farmer of taxes or a collector of
+revenue, which are offices where, though the devil carries off those
+who make a bad use of them, still they make and handle money. My
+lady the duchess will tell thee the desire I have to go to the
+Court; consider the matter and let me know thy pleasure; I will try to
+do honour to thee by going in a coach.</p>
+
+<p>Neither the curate, nor the barber, nor the bachelor, nor even the
+sacristan, can believe that thou art a governor, and they say the
+whole thing is a delusion or an enchantment affair, like everything
+belonging to thy master Don Quixote; and Samson says he must go in
+search of thee and drive the government out of thy head and the
+madness out of Don Quixote's skull; I only laugh, and look at my
+string of beads, and plan out the dress I am going to make for our
+daughter out of thy suit. I sent some acorns to my lady the duchess; I
+wish they had been gold. Send me some strings of pearls if they are in
+fashion in that island. Here is the news of the village; La Berrueca
+has married her daughter to a good-for-nothing painter, who came
+here to paint anything that might turn up. The council gave him an
+order to paint his Majesty's arms over the door of the town-hall; he
+asked two ducats, which they paid him in advance; he worked for
+eight days, and at the end of them had nothing painted, and then
+said he had no turn for painting such trifling things; he returned the
+money, and for all that has married on the pretence of being a good
+workman; to be sure he has now laid aside his paint-brush and taken
+a spade in hand, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Pedro
+Lobo's son has received the first orders and tonsure, with the
+intention of becoming a priest. Minguilla, Mingo Silvato's
+granddaughter, found it out, and has gone to law with him on the score
+of having given her promise of marriage. Evil tongues say she is
+with child by him, but he denies it stoutly. There are no olives
+this year, and there is not a drop of vinegar to be had in the whole
+village. A company of soldiers passed through here; when they left
+they took away with them three of the girls of the village; I will not
+tell thee who they are; perhaps they will come back, and they will
+be sure to find those who will take them for wives with all their
+blemishes, good or bad. Sanchica is making bonelace; she earns eight
+maravedis a day clear, which she puts into a moneybox as a help
+towards house furnishing; but now that she is a governor's daughter
+thou wilt give her a portion without her working for it. The
+fountain in the plaza has run dry. A flash of lightning struck the
+gibbet, and I wish they all lit there. I look for an answer to this,
+and to know thy mind about my going to the Court; and so, God keep
+thee longer than me, or as long, for I would not leave thee in this
+world without me.</p>
+
+<p>Thy wife,
+<br>TERESA PANZA.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+<p>
+The letters were applauded, laughed over, relished, and admired; and
+then, as if to put the seal to the business, the courier arrived,
+bringing the one Sancho sent to Don Quixote, and this, too, was read
+out, and it raised some doubts as to the governor's simplicity. The
+duchess withdrew to hear from the page about his adventures in
+Sancho's village, which he narrated at full length without leaving a
+single circumstance unmentioned. He gave her the acorns, and also a
+cheese which Teresa had given him as being particularly good and
+superior to those of Tronchon. The duchess received it with greatest
+delight, in which we will leave her, to describe the end of the
+government of the great Sancho Panza, flower and mirror of all
+governors of islands.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p52e"></a><img alt="p52e.jpg (13K)" src="images/p52e.jpg" height="261" width="407">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch53b"></a>CHAPTER LIII.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA'S GOVERNMENT CAME TO
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p53a"></a><img alt="p53a.jpg (109K)" src="images/p53a.jpg" height="362" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p53a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>To fancy that in this life anything belonging to it will remain
+for ever in the same state is an idle fancy; on the contrary, in it
+everything seems to go in a circle, I mean round and round. The spring
+succeeds the summer, the summer the fall, the fall the autumn, the
+autumn the winter, and the winter the spring, and so time rolls with
+never-ceasing wheel. Man's life alone, swifter than time, speeds
+onward to its end without any hope of renewal, save it be in that
+other life which is endless and boundless. Thus saith Cide Hamete
+the Mahometan philosopher; for there are many that by the light of
+nature alone, without the light of faith, have a comprehension of
+the fleeting nature and instability of this present life and the
+endless duration of that eternal life we hope for; but our author is
+here speaking of the rapidity with which Sancho's government came to
+an end, melted away, disappeared, vanished as it were in smoke and
+shadow. For as he lay in bed on the night of the seventh day of his
+government, sated, not with bread and wine, but with delivering
+judgments and giving opinions and making laws and proclamations,
+just as sleep, in spite of hunger, was beginning to close his eyelids,
+he heard such a noise of bell-ringing and shouting that one would have
+fancied the whole island was going to the bottom. He sat up in bed and
+remained listening intently to try if he could make out what could
+be the cause of so great an uproar; not only, however, was he unable
+to discover what it was, but as countless drums and trumpets now
+helped to swell the din of the bells and shouts, he was more puzzled
+than ever, and filled with fear and terror; and getting up he put on a
+pair of slippers because of the dampness of the floor, and without
+throwing a dressing gown or anything of the kind over him he rushed
+out of the door of his room, just in time to see approaching along a
+corridor a band of more than twenty persons with lighted torches and
+naked swords in their hands, all shouting out, "To arms, to arms,
+senor governor, to arms! The enemy is in the island in countless
+numbers, and we are lost unless your skill and valour come to our
+support."</p>
+
+<p>Keeping up this noise, tumult, and uproar, they came to where Sancho
+stood dazed and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as they
+approached one of them called out to him, "Arm at once, your lordship,
+if you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost."</p>
+
+<p>"What have I to do with arming?" said Sancho. "What do I know
+about arms or supports? Better leave all that to my master Don
+Quixote, who will settle it and make all safe in a trice; for I,
+sinner that I am, God help me, don't understand these scuffles."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, senor governor," said another, "what slackness of mettle this
+is! Arm yourself; here are arms for you, offensive and defensive; come
+out to the plaza and be our leader and captain; it falls upon you by
+right, for you are our governor."</p>
+
+<p>"Arm me then, in God's name," said Sancho, and they at once produced
+two large shields they had come provided with, and placed them upon
+him over his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, one
+shield in front and the other behind, and passing his arms through
+openings they had made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that there
+he was walled and boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable to
+bend his knees or stir a single step. In his hand they placed a lance,
+on which he leant to keep himself from falling, and as soon as they
+had him thus fixed they bade him march forward and lead them on and
+give them all courage; for with him for their guide and lamp and
+morning star, they were sure to bring their business to a successful
+issue.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p53b"></a><img alt="p53b.jpg (332K)" src="images/p53b.jpg" height="855" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p53b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?" said Sancho, "when I
+can't stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight to
+my body won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, and
+lay me across or set me upright in some postern, and I'll hold it
+either with this lance or with my body."</p>
+
+<p>"On, senor governor!" cried another, "it is fear more than the
+boards that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, for
+there is no time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, the
+shouts grow louder, and the danger is pressing."</p>
+
+<p>Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made an
+attempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that he
+fancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like a
+tortoise enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between two
+kneading-troughs, or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gang
+of jokers feel any compassion for him when they saw him down; so far
+from that, extinguishing their torches they began to shout afresh
+and to renew the calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poor
+Sancho, and slashing at him over the shield with their swords in
+such a way that, if he had not gathered himself together and made
+himself small and drawn in his head between the shields, it would have
+fared badly with the poor governor, as, squeezed into that narrow
+compass, he lay, sweating and sweating again, and commending himself
+with all his heart to God to deliver him from his present peril.
+Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and one there was who
+took up a position on top of him for some time, and from thence as
+if from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting out, "Here,
+our side! Here the enemy is thickest! Hold the breach there! Shut that
+gate! Barricade those ladders! Here with your stink-pots of pitch
+and resin, and kettles of boiling oil! Block the streets with
+feather beds!" In short, in his ardour he mentioned every little
+thing, and every implement and engine of war by means of which an
+assault upon a city is warded off, while the bruised and battered
+Sancho, who heard and suffered all, was saying to himself, "O if it
+would only please the Lord to let the island be lost at once, and I
+could see myself either dead or out of this torture!" Heaven heard his
+prayer, and when he least expected it he heard voices exclaiming,
+"Victory, victory! The enemy retreats beaten! Come, senor governor,
+get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and divide the spoils that
+have been won from the foe by the might of that invincible arm."</p>
+
+<p>"Lift me up," said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. They
+helped him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, "The enemy
+I have beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don't want to divide
+the spoils of the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I have
+one, to give me a sup of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipe
+me dry, for I'm turning to water."</p>
+
+<p>They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields,
+and he seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, and
+fatigue he fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke were
+now sorry they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his fainting
+away had caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. He
+asked what o'clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He said
+no more, and in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him,
+waiting to see what the haste with which he was putting on his clothes
+meant.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p53c"></a><img alt="p53c.jpg (389K)" src="images/p53c.jpg" height="831" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p53c.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he was
+sorely bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable,
+followed by all who were present, and going up to Dapple embraced
+him and gave him a loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, not
+without tears in his eyes, "Come along, comrade and friend and partner
+of my toils and sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares to
+trouble me except mending your harness and feeding your little
+carcass, happy were my hours, my days, and my years; but since I
+left you, and mounted the towers of ambition and pride, a thousand
+miseries, a thousand troubles, and four thousand anxieties have
+entered into my soul;" and all the while he was speaking in this
+strain he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass, without a word from
+anyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he, with great pain and
+difficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the majordomo,
+the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the doctor and several
+others who stood by, he said, "Make way, gentlemen, and let me go back
+to my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myself
+up from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protect
+islands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them.
+Ploughing and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more in my way
+than defending provinces or kingdoms. 'Saint Peter is very well at
+Rome; I mean each of us is best following the trade he was born to.
+A reaping-hook fits my hand better than a governor's sceptre; I'd
+rather have my fill of gazpacho' than be subject to the misery of a
+meddling doctor who me with hunger, and I'd rather lie in summer under
+the shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double sheepskin
+jacket in freedom, than go to bed between holland sheets and dress
+in sables under the restraint of a government. God be with your
+worships, and tell my lord the duke that 'naked I was born, naked I
+find myself, I neither lose nor gain;' I mean that without a
+farthing I came into this government, and without a farthing I go
+out of it, very different from the way governors commonly leave
+other islands. Stand aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself,
+for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies
+that have been trampling over me to-night."</p>
+
+<p>"That is unnecessary, senor governor," said Doctor Recio, "for I
+will give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that will
+soon make you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet I
+promise your worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifully
+of whatever you like."</p>
+
+<p>"You spoke late," said Sancho. "I'd as soon turn Turk as stay any
+longer. Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soon
+remain in this government, or take another, even if it was offered
+me between two plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the
+breed of the Panzas, and they are every one of them obstinate, and
+if they once say 'odds,' odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in
+spite of all the world. Here in this stable I leave the ant's wings
+that lifted me up into the air for the swifts and other birds to eat
+me, and let's take to level ground and our feet once more; and if
+they're not shod in pinked shoes of cordovan, they won't want for
+rough sandals of hemp; 'every ewe to her like,' 'and let no one
+stretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet;' and now let me
+pass, for it's growing late with me."</p>
+
+<p>To this the majordomo said, "Senor governor, we would let your
+worship go with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to lose
+you, for your wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regret
+you; but it is well known that every governor, before he leaves the
+place where he has been governing, is bound first of all to render
+an account. Let your worship do so for the ten days you have held
+the government, and then you may go and the peace of God go with you."</p>
+
+<p>"No one can demand it of me," said Sancho, "but he whom my lord
+the duke shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I will
+render an exact one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, there
+is no other proof needed to show that I have governed like an angel."</p>
+
+<p>"By God the great Sancho is right," said Doctor Recio, "and we
+should let him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to see
+him."</p>
+
+<p>They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering to
+bear him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his own
+comfort or for the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything more
+than a little barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaf
+for himself; for the distance being so short there was no occasion for
+any better or bulkier provant. They all embraced him, and he with
+tears embraced all of them, and left them filled with admiration not
+only at his remarks but at his firm and sensible resolution.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p53e"></a><img alt="p53e.jpg (56K)" src="images/p53e.jpg" height="434" width="650">
+</center>
+
+
+
+
+<br>
+<br>
+<hr>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II.,
+Part 33, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,1938 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part
+33, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 33
+
+Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
+
+Release Date: July 25, 2004 [EBook #5936]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 33 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+ DON QUIXOTE
+
+ Volume II.
+
+ Part 33.
+
+ by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+
+ Translated by John Ormsby
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIX.
+
+OF WHAT HAPPENED SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND
+
+
+We left the great governor angered and irritated by that
+portrait-painting rogue of a farmer who, instructed the majordomo, as the
+majordomo was by the duke, tried to practise upon him; he however, fool,
+boor, and clown as he was, held his own against them all, saying to those
+round him and to Doctor Pedro Recio, who as soon as the private business
+of the duke's letter was disposed of had returned to the room, "Now I see
+plainly enough that judges and governors ought to be and must be made of
+brass not to feel the importunities of the applicants that at all times
+and all seasons insist on being heard, and having their business
+despatched, and their own affairs and no others attended to, come what
+may; and if the poor judge does not hear them and settle the
+matter--either because he cannot or because that is not the time set
+apart for hearing them-forthwith they abuse him, and run him down, and
+gnaw at his bones, and even pick holes in his pedigree. You silly, stupid
+applicant, don't be in a hurry; wait for the proper time and season for
+doing business; don't come at dinner-hour, or at bed-time; for judges are
+only flesh and blood, and must give to Nature what she naturally demands
+of them; all except myself, for in my case I give her nothing to eat,
+thanks to Senor Doctor Pedro Recio Tirteafuera here, who would have me
+die of hunger, and declares that death to be life; and the same sort of
+life may God give him and all his kind--I mean the bad doctors; for the
+good ones deserve palms and laurels."
+
+All who knew Sancho Panza were astonished to hear him speak so elegantly,
+and did not know what to attribute it to unless it were that office and
+grave responsibility either smarten or stupefy men's wits. At last Doctor
+Pedro Recio Agilers of Tirteafuera promised to let him have supper that
+night though it might be in contravention of all the aphorisms of
+Hippocrates. With this the governor was satisfied and looked forward to
+the approach of night and supper-time with great anxiety; and though
+time, to his mind, stood still and made no progress, nevertheless the
+hour he so longed for came, and they gave him a beef salad with onions
+and some boiled calves' feet rather far gone. At this he fell to with
+greater relish than if they had given him francolins from Milan,
+pheasants from Rome, veal from Sorrento, partridges from Moron, or geese
+from Lavajos, and turning to the doctor at supper he said to him, "Look
+here, senor doctor, for the future don't trouble yourself about giving me
+dainty things or choice dishes to eat, for it will be only taking my
+stomach off its hinges; it is accustomed to goat, cow, bacon, hung beef,
+turnips and onions; and if by any chance it is given these palace dishes,
+it receives them squeamishly, and sometimes with loathing. What the
+head-carver had best do is to serve me with what they call ollas podridas
+(and the rottener they are the better they smell); and he can put
+whatever he likes into them, so long as it is good to eat, and I'll be
+obliged to him, and will requite him some day. But let nobody play pranks
+on me, for either we are or we are not; let us live and eat in peace and
+good-fellowship, for when God sends the dawn, he sends it for all. I mean
+to govern this island without giving up a right or taking a bribe; let
+everyone keep his eye open, and look out for the arrow; for I can tell
+them 'the devil's in Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they'll see
+something that will astonish them. Nay! make yourself honey and the flies
+eat you."
+
+"Of a truth, senor governor," said the carver, "your worship is in the
+right of it in everything you have said; and I promise you in the name of
+all the inhabitants of this island that they will serve your worship with
+all zeal, affection, and good-will, for the mild kind of government you
+have given a sample of to begin with, leaves them no ground for doing or
+thinking anything to your worship's disadvantage."
+
+"That I believe," said Sancho; "and they would be great fools if they did
+or thought otherwise; once more I say, see to my feeding and my Dapple's
+for that is the great point and what is most to the purpose; and when the
+hour comes let us go the rounds, for it is my intention to purge this
+island of all manner of uncleanness and of all idle good-for-nothing
+vagabonds; for I would have you know that lazy idlers are the same thing
+in a State as the drones in a hive, that eat up the honey the industrious
+bees make. I mean to protect the husbandman, to preserve to the gentleman
+his privileges, to reward the virtuous, and above all to respect religion
+and honour its ministers. What say you to that, my friends? Is there
+anything in what I say, or am I talking to no purpose?"
+
+"There is so much in what your worship says, senor governor," said the
+majordomo, "that I am filled with wonder when I see a man like your
+worship, entirely without learning (for I believe you have none at all),
+say such things, and so full of sound maxims and sage remarks, very
+different from what was expected of your worship's intelligence by those
+who sent us or by us who came here. Every day we see something new in
+this world; jokes become realities, and the jokers find the tables turned
+upon them."
+
+Night came, and with the permission of Doctor Pedro Recio, the governor
+had supper. They then got ready to go the rounds, and he started with the
+majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, the chronicler charged with
+recording his deeds, and alguacils and notaries enough to form a
+fair-sized squadron. In the midst marched Sancho with his staff, as fine
+a sight as one could wish to see, and but a few streets of the town had
+been traversed when they heard a noise as of a clashing of swords. They
+hastened to the spot, and found that the combatants were but two, who
+seeing the authorities approaching stood still, and one of them
+exclaimed, "Help, in the name of God and the king! Are men to be allowed
+to rob in the middle of this town, and rush out and attack people in the
+very streets?"
+
+"Be calm, my good man," said Sancho, "and tell me what the cause of this
+quarrel is; for I am the governor."
+
+Said the other combatant, "Senor governor, I will tell you in a very few
+words. Your worship must know that this gentleman has just now won more
+than a thousand reals in that gambling house opposite, and God knows how.
+I was there, and gave more than one doubtful point in his favour, very
+much against what my conscience told me. He made off with his winnings,
+and when I made sure he was going to give me a crown or so at least by
+way of a present, as it is usual and customary to give men of quality of
+my sort who stand by to see fair or foul play, and back up swindles, and
+prevent quarrels, he pocketed his money and left the house. Indignant at
+this I followed him, and speaking him fairly and civilly asked him to
+give me if it were only eight reals, for he knows I am an honest man and
+that I have neither profession nor property, for my parents never brought
+me up to any or left me any; but the rogue, who is a greater thief than
+Cacus and a greater sharper than Andradilla, would not give me more than
+four reals; so your worship may see how little shame and conscience he
+has. But by my faith if you had not come up I'd have made him disgorge
+his winnings, and he'd have learned what the range of the steel-yard
+was."
+
+"What say you to this?" asked Sancho. The other replied that all his
+antagonist said was true, and that he did not choose to give him more
+than four reals because he very often gave him money; and that those who
+expected presents ought to be civil and take what is given them with a
+cheerful countenance, and not make any claim against winners unless they
+know them for certain to be sharpers and their winnings to be unfairly
+won; and that there could be no better proof that he himself was an
+honest man than his having refused to give anything; for sharpers always
+pay tribute to lookers-on who know them.
+
+"That is true," said the majordomo; "let your worship consider what is to
+be done with these men."
+
+"What is to be done," said Sancho, "is this; you, the winner, be you
+good, bad, or indifferent, give this assailant of yours a hundred reals
+at once, and you must disburse thirty more for the poor prisoners; and
+you who have neither profession nor property, and hang about the island
+in idleness, take these hundred reals now, and some time of the day
+to-morrow quit the island under sentence of banishment for ten years, and
+under pain of completing it in another life if you violate the sentence,
+for I'll hang you on a gibbet, or at least the hangman will by my orders;
+not a word from either of you, or I'll make him feel my hand."
+
+The one paid down the money and the other took it, and the latter quitted
+the island, while the other went home; and then the governor said,
+"Either I am not good for much, or I'll get rid of these gambling houses,
+for it strikes me they are very mischievous."
+
+"This one at least," said one of the notaries, "your worship will not be
+able to get rid of, for a great man owns it, and what he loses every year
+is beyond all comparison more than what he makes by the cards. On the
+minor gambling houses your worship may exercise your power, and it is
+they that do most harm and shelter the most barefaced practices; for in
+the houses of lords and gentlemen of quality the notorious sharpers dare
+not attempt to play their tricks; and as the vice of gambling has become
+common, it is better that men should play in houses of repute than in
+some tradesman's, where they catch an unlucky fellow in the small hours
+of the morning and skin him alive."
+
+"I know already, notary, that there is a good deal to be said on that
+point," said Sancho.
+
+And now a tipstaff came up with a young man in his grasp, and said,
+"Senor governor, this youth was coming towards us, and as soon as he saw
+the officers of justice he turned about and ran like a deer, a sure proof
+that he must be some evil-doer; I ran after him, and had it not been that
+he stumbled and fell, I should never have caught him."
+
+"What did you run for, fellow?" said Sancho.
+
+To which the young man replied, "Senor, it was to avoid answering all the
+questions officers of justice put."
+
+"What are you by trade?"
+
+"A weaver."
+
+"And what do you weave?"
+
+"Lance heads, with your worship's good leave."
+
+"You're facetious with me! You plume yourself on being a wag? Very good;
+and where were you going just now?"
+
+"To take the air, senor."
+
+"And where does one take the air in this island?"
+
+"Where it blows."
+
+"Good! your answers are very much to the point; you are a smart youth;
+but take notice that I am the air, and that I blow upon you a-stern, and
+send you to gaol. Ho there! lay hold of him and take him off; I'll make
+him sleep there to-night without air."
+
+"By God," said the young man, "your worship will make me sleep in gaol
+just as soon as make me king."
+
+"Why shan't I make thee sleep in gaol?" said Sancho. "Have I not the
+power to arrest thee and release thee whenever I like?"
+
+"All the power your worship has," said the young man, "won't be able to
+make me sleep in gaol."
+
+"How? not able!" said Sancho; "take him away at once where he'll see his
+mistake with his own eyes, even if the gaoler is willing to exert his
+interested generosity on his behalf; for I'll lay a penalty of two
+thousand ducats on him if he allows him to stir a step from the prison."
+
+"That's ridiculous," said the young man; "the fact is, all the men on
+earth will not make me sleep in prison."
+
+"Tell me, you devil," said Sancho, "have you got any angel that will
+deliver you, and take off the irons I am going to order them to put upon
+you?"
+
+"Now, senor governor," said the young man in a sprightly manner, "let us
+be reasonable and come to the point. Granted your worship may order me to
+be taken to prison, and to have irons and chains put on me, and to be
+shut up in a cell, and may lay heavy penalties on the gaoler if he lets
+me out, and that he obeys your orders; still, if I don't choose to sleep,
+and choose to remain awake all night without closing an eye, will your
+worship with all your power be able to make me sleep if I don't choose?"
+
+"No, truly," said the secretary, "and the fellow has made his point."
+
+"So then," said Sancho, "it would be entirely of your own choice you
+would keep from sleeping; not in opposition to my will?"
+
+"No, senor," said the youth, "certainly not."
+
+"Well then, go, and God be with you," said Sancho; "be off home to sleep,
+and God give you sound sleep, for I don't want to rob you of it; but for
+the future, let me advise you don't joke with the authorities, because
+you may come across some one who will bring down the joke on your own
+skull."
+
+The young man went his way, and the governor continued his round, and
+shortly afterwards two tipstaffs came up with a man in custody, and said,
+"Senor governor, this person, who seems to be a man, is not so, but a
+woman, and not an ill-favoured one, in man's clothes." They raised two or
+three lanterns to her face, and by their light they distinguished the
+features of a woman to all appearance of the age of sixteen or a little
+more, with her hair gathered into a gold and green silk net, and fair as
+a thousand pearls. They scanned her from head to foot, and observed that
+she had on red silk stockings with garters of white taffety bordered with
+gold and pearl; her breeches were of green and gold stuff, and under an
+open jacket or jerkin of the same she wore a doublet of the finest white
+and gold cloth; her shoes were white and such as men wear; she carried no
+sword at her belt, but only a richly ornamented dagger, and on her
+fingers she had several handsome rings. In short, the girl seemed fair to
+look at in the eyes of all, and none of those who beheld her knew her,
+the people of the town said they could not imagine who she was, and those
+who were in the secret of the jokes that were to be practised upon Sancho
+were the ones who were most surprised, for this incident or discovery had
+not been arranged by them; and they watched anxiously to see how the
+affair would end.
+
+Sancho was fascinated by the girl's beauty, and he asked her who she was,
+where she was going, and what had induced her to dress herself in that
+garb. She with her eyes fixed on the ground answered in modest confusion,
+"I cannot tell you, senor, before so many people what it is of such
+consequence to me to have kept secret; one thing I wish to be known, that
+I am no thief or evildoer, but only an unhappy maiden whom the power of
+jealousy has led to break through the respect that is due to modesty."
+
+Hearing this the majordomo said to Sancho, "Make the people stand back,
+senor governor, that this lady may say what she wishes with less
+embarrassment."
+
+Sancho gave the order, and all except the majordomo, the head-carver, and
+the secretary fell back. Finding herself then in the presence of no more,
+the damsel went on to say, "I am the daughter, sirs, of Pedro Perez
+Mazorca, the wool-farmer of this town, who is in the habit of coming very
+often to my father's house."
+
+"That won't do, senora," said the majordomo; "for I know Pedro Perez very
+well, and I know he has no child at all, either son or daughter; and
+besides, though you say he is your father, you add then that he comes
+very often to your father's house."
+
+"I had already noticed that," said Sancho.
+
+"I am confused just now, sirs," said the damsel, "and I don't know what I
+am saying; but the truth is that I am the daughter of Diego de la Llana,
+whom you must all know."
+
+"Ay, that will do," said the majordomo; "for I know Diego de la Llana,
+and know that he is a gentleman of position and a rich man, and that he
+has a son and a daughter, and that since he was left a widower nobody in
+all this town can speak of having seen his daughter's face; for he keeps
+her so closely shut up that he does not give even the sun a chance of
+seeing her; and for all that report says she is extremely beautiful."
+
+"It is true," said the damsel, "and I am that daughter; whether report
+lies or not as to my beauty, you, sirs, will have decided by this time,
+as you have seen me;" and with this she began to weep bitterly.
+
+On seeing this the secretary leant over to the head-carver's ear, and
+said to him in a low voice, "Something serious has no doubt happened this
+poor maiden, that she goes wandering from home in such a dress and at
+such an hour, and one of her rank too." "There can be no doubt about it,"
+returned the carver, "and moreover her tears confirm your suspicion."
+Sancho gave her the best comfort he could, and entreated her to tell them
+without any fear what had happened her, as they would all earnestly and
+by every means in their power endeavour to relieve her.
+
+"The fact is, sirs," said she, "that my father has kept me shut up these
+ten years, for so long is it since the earth received my mother. Mass is
+said at home in a sumptuous chapel, and all this time I have seen but the
+sun in the heaven by day, and the moon and the stars by night; nor do I
+know what streets are like, or plazas, or churches, or even men, except
+my father and a brother I have, and Pedro Perez the wool-farmer; whom,
+because he came frequently to our house, I took it into my head to call
+my father, to avoid naming my own. This seclusion and the restrictions
+laid upon my going out, were it only to church, have been keeping me
+unhappy for many a day and month past; I longed to see the world, or at
+least the town where I was born, and it did not seem to me that this wish
+was inconsistent with the respect maidens of good quality should have for
+themselves. When I heard them talking of bull-fights taking place, and of
+javelin games, and of acting plays, I asked my brother, who is a year
+younger than myself, to tell me what sort of things these were, and many
+more that I had never seen; he explained them to me as well as he could,
+but the only effect was to kindle in me a still stronger desire to see
+them. At last, to cut short the story of my ruin, I begged and entreated
+my brother--O that I had never made such an entreaty-" And once more she
+gave way to a burst of weeping.
+
+"Proceed, senora," said the majordomo, "and finish your story of what has
+happened to you, for your words and tears are keeping us all in
+suspense."
+
+"I have but little more to say, though many a tear to shed," said the
+damsel; "for ill-placed desires can only be paid for in some such way."
+
+The maiden's beauty had made a deep impression on the head-carver's
+heart, and he again raised his lantern for another look at her, and
+thought they were not tears she was shedding, but seed-pearl or dew of
+the meadow, nay, he exalted them still higher, and made Oriental pearls
+of them, and fervently hoped her misfortune might not be so great a one
+as her tears and sobs seemed to indicate. The governor was losing
+patience at the length of time the girl was taking to tell her story, and
+told her not to keep them waiting any longer; for it was late, and there
+still remained a good deal of the town to be gone over.
+
+She, with broken sobs and half-suppressed sighs, went on to say, "My
+misfortune, my misadventure, is simply this, that I entreated my brother
+to dress me up as a man in a suit of his clothes, and take me some night,
+when our father was asleep, to see the whole town; he, overcome by my
+entreaties, consented, and dressing me in this suit and himself in
+clothes of mine that fitted him as if made for him (for he has not a hair
+on his chin, and might pass for a very beautiful young girl), to-night,
+about an hour ago, more or less, we left the house, and guided by our
+youthful and foolish impulse we made the circuit of the whole town, and
+then, as we were about to return home, we saw a great troop of people
+coming, and my brother said to me, 'Sister, this must be the round, stir
+your feet and put wings to them, and follow me as fast as you can, lest
+they recognise us, for that would be a bad business for us;' and so
+saying he turned about and began, I cannot say to run but to fly; in less
+than six paces I fell from fright, and then the officer of justice came
+up and carried me before your worships, where I find myself put to shame
+before all these people as whimsical and vicious."
+
+"So then, senora," said Sancho, "no other mishap has befallen you, nor
+was it jealousy that made you leave home, as you said at the beginning of
+your story?"
+
+"Nothing has happened me," said she, "nor was it jealousy that brought me
+out, but merely a longing to see the world, which did not go beyond
+seeing the streets of this town."
+
+The appearance of the tipstaffs with her brother in custody, whom one of
+them had overtaken as he ran away from his sister, now fully confirmed
+the truth of what the damsel said. He had nothing on but a rich petticoat
+and a short blue damask cloak with fine gold lace, and his head was
+uncovered and adorned only with its own hair, which looked like rings of
+gold, so bright and curly was it. The governor, the majordomo, and the
+carver went aside with him, and, unheard by his sister, asked him how he
+came to be in that dress, and he with no less shame and embarrassment
+told exactly the same story as his sister, to the great delight of the
+enamoured carver; the governor, however, said to them, "In truth, young
+lady and gentleman, this has been a very childish affair, and to explain
+your folly and rashness there was no necessity for all this delay and all
+these tears and sighs; for if you had said we are so-and-so, and we
+escaped from our father's house in this way in order to ramble about, out
+of mere curiosity and with no other object, there would have been an end
+of the matter, and none of these little sobs and tears and all the rest
+of it."
+
+"That is true," said the damsel, "but you see the confusion I was in was
+so great it did not let me behave as I ought."
+
+"No harm has been done," said Sancho; "come, we will leave you at your
+father's house; perhaps they will not have missed you; and another time
+don't be so childish or eager to see the world; for a respectable damsel
+should have a broken leg and keep at home; and the woman and the hen by
+gadding about are soon lost; and she who is eager to see is also eager to
+be seen; I say no more."
+
+The youth thanked the governor for his kind offer to take them home, and
+they directed their steps towards the house, which was not far off. On
+reaching it the youth threw a pebble up at a grating, and immediately a
+woman-servant who was waiting for them came down and opened the door to
+them, and they went in, leaving the party marvelling as much at their
+grace and beauty as at the fancy they had for seeing the world by night
+and without quitting the village; which, however, they set down to their
+youth.
+
+The head-carver was left with a heart pierced through and through, and he
+made up his mind on the spot to demand the damsel in marriage of her
+father on the morrow, making sure she would not be refused him as he was
+a servant of the duke's; and even to Sancho ideas and schemes of marrying
+the youth to his daughter Sanchica suggested themselves, and he resolved
+to open the negotiation at the proper season, persuading himself that no
+husband could be refused to a governor's daughter. And so the night's
+round came to an end, and a couple of days later the government, whereby
+all his plans were overthrown and swept away, as will be seen farther on.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER L.
+
+WHEREIN IS SET FORTH WHO THE ENCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS WERE WHO FLOGGED
+THE DUENNA AND PINCHED DON QUIXOTE, AND ALSO WHAT BEFELL THE PAGE WHO
+CARRIED THE LETTER TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO PANZA'S WIFE
+
+
+Cide Hamete, the painstaking investigator of the minute points of this
+veracious history, says that when Dona Rodriguez left her own room to go
+to Don Quixote's, another duenna who slept with her observed her, and as
+all duennas are fond of prying, listening, and sniffing, she followed her
+so silently that the good Rodriguez never perceived it; and as soon as
+the duenna saw her enter Don Quixote's room, not to fail in a duenna's
+invariable practice of tattling, she hurried off that instant to report
+to the duchess how Dona Rodriguez was closeted with Don Quixote. The
+duchess told the duke, and asked him to let her and Altisidora go and see
+what the said duenna wanted with Don Quixote. The duke gave them leave,
+and the pair cautiously and quietly crept to the door of the room and
+posted themselves so close to it that they could hear all that was said
+inside. But when the duchess heard how the Rodriguez had made public the
+Aranjuez of her issues she could not restrain herself, nor Altisidora
+either; and so, filled with rage and thirsting for vengeance, they burst
+into the room and tormented Don Quixote and flogged the duenna in the
+manner already described; for indignities offered to their charms and
+self-esteem mightily provoke the anger of women and make them eager for
+revenge. The duchess told the duke what had happened, and he was much
+amused by it; and she, in pursuance of her design of making merry and
+diverting herself with Don Quixote, despatched the page who had played
+the part of Dulcinea in the negotiations for her disenchantment (which
+Sancho Panza in the cares of government had forgotten all about) to
+Teresa Panza his wife with her husband's letter and another from herself,
+and also a great string of fine coral beads as a present.
+
+Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted; and eager
+to serve his lord and lady he set off very willingly for Sancho's
+village. Before he entered it he observed a number of women washing in a
+brook, and asked them if they could tell him whether there lived there a
+woman of the name of Teresa Panza, wife of one Sancho Panza, squire to a
+knight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At the question a young girl who
+was washing stood up and said, "Teresa Panza is my mother, and that
+Sancho is my father, and that knight is our master."
+
+"Well then, miss," said the page, "come and show me where your mother is,
+for I bring her a letter and a present from your father."
+
+"That I will with all my heart, senor," said the girl, who seemed to be
+about fourteen, more or less; and leaving the clothes she was washing to
+one of her companions, and without putting anything on her head or feet,
+for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging about her, away she
+skipped in front of the page's horse, saying, "Come, your worship, our
+house is at the entrance of the town, and my mother is there, sorrowful
+enough at not having had any news of my father this ever so long."
+
+"Well," said the page, "I am bringing her such good news that she will
+have reason to thank God."
+
+And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the town, but
+before going into the house she called out at the door, "Come out, mother
+Teresa, come out, come out; here's a gentleman with letters and other
+things from my good father." At these words her mother Teresa Panza came
+out spinning a bundle of flax, in a grey petticoat (so short was it one
+would have fancied "they to her shame had cut it short"), a grey bodice
+of the same stuff, and a smock. She was not very old, though plainly past
+forty, strong, healthy, vigorous, and sun-dried; and seeing her daughter
+and the page on horseback, she exclaimed, "What's this, child? What
+gentleman is this?"
+
+"A servant of my lady, Dona Teresa Panza," replied the page; and suiting
+the action to the word he flung himself off his horse, and with great
+humility advanced to kneel before the lady Teresa, saying, "Let me kiss
+your hand, Senora Dona Teresa, as the lawful and only wife of Senor Don
+Sancho Panza, rightful governor of the island of Barataria."
+
+"Ah, senor, get up, do that," said Teresa; "for I'm not a bit of a court
+lady, but only a poor country woman, the daughter of a clodcrusher, and
+the wife of a squire-errant and not of any governor at all."
+
+"You are," said the page, "the most worthy wife of a most arch-worthy
+governor; and as a proof of what I say accept this letter and this
+present;" and at the same time he took out of his pocket a string of
+coral beads with gold clasps, and placed it on her neck, and said, "This
+letter is from his lordship the governor, and the other as well as these
+coral beads from my lady the duchess, who sends me to your worship."
+
+Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much, and the
+girl said, "May I die but our master Don Quixote's at the bottom of this;
+he must have given father the government or county he so often promised
+him."
+
+"That is the truth," said the page; "for it is through Senor Don Quixote
+that Senor Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria, as will be
+seen by this letter."
+
+"Will your worship read it to me, noble sir?" said Teresa; "for though I
+can spin I can't read, not a scrap."
+
+"Nor I either," said Sanchica; "but wait a bit, and I'll go and fetch
+some one who can read it, either the curate himself or the bachelor
+Samson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news of my father."
+
+"There is no need to fetch anybody," said the page; "for though I can't
+spin I can read, and I'll read it;" and so he read it through, but as it
+has been already given it is not inserted here; and then he took out the
+other one from the duchess, which ran as follows:
+
+Friend Teresa,--Your husband Sancho's good qualities, of heart as well as
+of head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the duke to give
+him the government of one of his many islands. I am told he governs like
+a gerfalcon, of which I am very glad, and my lord the duke, of course,
+also; and I am very thankful to heaven that I have not made a mistake in
+choosing him for that same government; for I would have Senora Teresa
+know that a good governor is hard to find in this world and may God make
+me as good as Sancho's way of governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, a
+string of coral beads with gold clasps; I wish they were Oriental pearls;
+but "he who gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead;" a time
+will come when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but God
+knows the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from
+me to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for her
+when she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in your
+village; send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value them greatly
+as coming from your hand; and write to me at length to assure me of your
+health and well-being; and if there be anything you stand in need of, it
+is but to open your mouth, and that shall be the measure; and so God keep
+you.
+
+From this place. Your loving friend, THE DUCHESS.
+
+"Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" said Teresa when she heard the
+letter; "that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not the
+gentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy because they are gentlewomen
+the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much airs as if
+they were queens, no less, and seem to think they are disgraced if they
+look at a farmer's wife! And see here how this good lady, for all she's a
+duchess, calls me 'friend,' and treats me as if I was her equal--and
+equal may I see her with the tallest church-tower in La Mancha! And as
+for the acorns, senor, I'll send her ladyship a peck and such big ones
+that one might come to see them as a show and a wonder. And now,
+Sanchica, see that the gentleman is comfortable; put up his horse, and
+get some eggs out of the stable, and cut plenty of bacon, and let's give
+him his dinner like a prince; for the good news he has brought, and his
+own bonny face deserve it all; and meanwhile I'll run out and give the
+neighbours the news of our good luck, and father curate, and Master
+Nicholas the barber, who are and always have been such friends of thy
+father's."
+
+"That I will, mother," said Sanchica; "but mind, you must give me half of
+that string; for I don't think my lady the duchess could have been so
+stupid as to send it all to you."
+
+"It is all for thee, my child," said Teresa; "but let me wear it round my
+neck for a few days; for verily it seems to make my heart glad."
+
+"You will be glad too," said the page, "when you see the bundle there is
+in this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth, that the
+governor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for Senora
+Sanchica."
+
+"May he live a thousand years," said Sanchica, "and the bearer as many,
+nay two thousand, if needful."
+
+With this Teresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with the
+string of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the letters as
+if they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across the curate and
+Samson Carrasco she began capering and saying, "None of us poor now,
+faith! We've got a little government! Ay, let the finest fine lady tackle
+me, and I'll give her a setting down!"
+
+"What's all this, Teresa Panza," said they; "what madness is this, and
+what papers are those?"
+
+"The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters of
+duchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coral
+beads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am a
+governess."
+
+"God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, or know
+what you are talking about."
+
+"There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed them the
+letters.
+
+The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and he
+regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had read,
+and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa in reply bade
+them come with her to her house and they would see the messenger, a most
+elegant youth, who had brought another present which was worth as much
+more. The curate took the coral beads from her neck and examined them
+again and again, and having satisfied himself as to their fineness he
+fell to wondering afresh, and said, "By the gown I wear I don't know what
+to say or think of these letters and presents; on the one hand I can see
+and feel the fineness of these coral beads, and on the other I read how a
+duchess sends to beg for a couple of dozen of acorns."
+
+"Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see the
+messenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery that has
+turned up."
+
+They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the page sifting a
+little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon to be
+paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his handsome apparel
+pleased them both greatly; and after they had saluted him courteously,
+and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news, as well of Don
+Quixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though they had read the
+letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they were still puzzled
+and could not make out what was meant by Sancho's government, and above
+all of an island, when all or most of those in the Mediterranean belonged
+to his Majesty.
+
+To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being a governor
+there is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island or not that he
+governs, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it that it is a town of
+more than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to the acorns I may tell
+you my lady the duchess is so unpretending and unassuming that, not to
+speak of sending to beg for acorns from a peasant woman, she has been
+known to send to ask for the loan of a comb from one of her neighbours;
+for I would have your worships know that the ladies of Aragon, though
+they are just as illustrious, are not so punctilious and haughty as the
+Castilian ladies; they treat people with greater familiarity."
+
+In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt full
+of eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does my father wear
+trunk-hose since he has been governor?"
+
+"I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them."
+
+"Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see my father in
+tights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a longing to
+see my father in trunk-hose?"
+
+"As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by God he
+is in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the government only
+lasts him two months more."
+
+The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page spoke
+in a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, and the hunting
+suit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown it to them) did away
+with the impression; and they could not help laughing at Sanchica's wish,
+and still more when Teresa said, "Senor curate, look about if there's
+anybody here going to Madrid or Toledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, a
+proper fashionable one of the best quality; for indeed and indeed I must
+do honour to my husband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am put
+to it and have to, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world;
+for she who has a governor for her husband may very well have one and
+keep one."
+
+"And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-day
+instead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw me
+seated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, that
+garlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease in a
+coach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through the mud, and
+let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck to backbiters
+all over the world; 'let me go warm and the people may laugh.' Do I say
+right, mother?"
+
+"To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck, and
+even more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, my daughter, he
+won't stop till he has made me a countess; for to make a beginning is
+everything in luck; and as I have heard thy good father say many a time
+(for besides being thy father he's the father of proverbs too), 'When
+they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; when they offer thee a
+government, take it; when they would give thee a county, seize it; when
+they say, "Here, here!" to thee with something good, swallow it.' Oh no!
+go to sleep, and don't answer the strokes of good fortune and the lucky
+chances that are knocking at the door of your house!"
+
+"And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says when he sees
+me holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempen breeches,' and the
+rest of it?"
+
+Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this family of the
+Panzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides, every one of
+them; I never saw one of them that does not pour them out at all times
+and on all occasions."
+
+"That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho utters them at
+every turn; and though a great many of them are not to the purpose, still
+they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke praise them highly."
+
+"Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government is true,
+senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is a duchess who
+sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although we have
+handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and suspect it
+to be something in the line of our fellow-townsman Don Quixote, who
+fancies that everything is done by enchantment; and for this reason I am
+almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel your worship to see
+whether you are a mere ambassador of the imagination or a man of flesh
+and blood."
+
+"All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a real ambassador,
+and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter of fact, and that my
+lord and lady the duke and duchess can give, and have given him this same
+government, and that I have heard the said Sancho Panza bears himself
+very stoutly therein; whether there be any enchantment in all this or
+not, it is for your worships to settle between you; for that's all I know
+by the oath I swear, and that is by the life of my parents whom I have
+still alive, and love dearly."
+
+"It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus."
+
+"Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth, and
+that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if not operibus
+credite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and he will see with
+his eyes what he does not believe with his ears."
+
+"It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you, senor,
+behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart to see my
+father."
+
+"Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along the roads
+alone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number of
+attendants."
+
+"By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-ass as
+in a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!"
+
+"Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talking about; the
+gentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so the behaviour;' when it was
+Sancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governor it's 'senora;' I don't know
+if I'm right."
+
+"Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page; "and now
+give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to return this
+evening."
+
+"Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "for Senora
+Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest."
+
+The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; and the
+curate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have an
+opportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and his
+doings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa;
+but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for she
+thought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and a couple
+of eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote for her two
+letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess, dictated out
+of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this great history,
+as will be seen farther on.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LI.
+
+OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCH ENTERTAINING
+MATTERS
+
+
+Day came after the night of the governor's round; a night which the
+head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the face and
+air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomo spent what
+was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho
+said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings, for
+there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his words and
+deeds. The senor governor got up, and by Doctor Pedro Recio's directions
+they made him break his fast on a little conserve and four sups of cold
+water, which Sancho would have readily exchanged for a piece of bread and
+a bunch of grapes; but seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with
+no little sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having
+persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that
+was what was most essential for persons placed in command and in
+responsible situations, where they have to employ not only the bodily
+powers but those of the mind also.
+
+By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, and hunger
+so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and even him who had
+given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conserve he undertook
+to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that came before him
+was a question that was submitted to him by a stranger, in the presence
+of the majordomo and the other attendants, and it was in these words:
+"Senor, a large river separated two districts of one and the same
+lordship--will your worship please to pay attention, for the case is an
+important and a rather knotty one? Well then, on this river there was a
+bridge, and at one end of it a gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where
+four judges commonly sat to administer the law which the lord of river,
+bridge and the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect, 'If
+anyone crosses by this bridge from one side to the other he shall declare
+on oath where he is going to and with what object; and if he swears
+truly, he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put to
+death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without any
+remission.' Though the law and its severe penalty were known, many
+persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at once
+they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free. It
+happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his declaration,
+swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to die upon that
+gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judges held a
+consultation over the oath, and they said, 'If we let this man pass free
+he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die; but if we hang him,
+as he swore he was going to die on that gallows, and therefore swore the
+truth, by the same law he ought to go free.' It is asked of your worship,
+senor governor, what are the judges to do with this man? For they are
+still in doubt and perplexity; and having heard of your worship's acute
+and exalted intellect, they have sent me to entreat your worship on their
+behalf to give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case."
+
+To this Sancho made answer, "Indeed those gentlemen the judges that send
+you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I have more of
+the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case over again, so that
+I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point."
+
+The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, and then
+Sancho said, "It seems to me I can set the matter right in a moment, and
+in this way; the man swears that he is going to die upon the gallows; but
+if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and by the law enacted
+deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but if they don't hang him,
+then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law deserves to be hanged."
+
+"It is as the senor governor says," said the messenger; "and as regards a
+complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left to desire or
+hesitate about."
+
+"Well then I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they should let pass
+the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied; and in
+this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied with."
+
+"But then, senor governor," replied the querist, "the man will have to be
+divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course he will die; and
+so none of the requirements of the law will be carried out, and it is
+absolutely necessary to comply with it."
+
+"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull or else
+there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and
+passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally
+condemns him; and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to
+the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the arguments for condemning him
+and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass
+freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil;
+this I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign; and what I
+have said in this case is not out of my own head, but one of the many
+precepts my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become
+governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that
+when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to
+mercy; and it is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits
+this case as if it was made for it."
+
+"That is true," said the majordomo; "and I maintain that Lycurgus
+himself, who gave laws to the Lacedemonians, could not have pronounced a
+better decision than the great Panza has given; let the morning's
+audience close with this, and I will see that the senor governor has
+dinner entirely to his liking."
+
+"That's all I ask for--fair play," said Sancho; "give me my dinner, and
+then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I'll despatch them in a
+twinkling."
+
+The majordomo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience to
+kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as he intended to have
+done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was
+commissioned to practise upon him.
+
+It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in opposition to
+the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as they were taking away
+the cloth there came a courier with a letter from Don Quixote for the
+governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to himself, and if
+there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy to read it aloud. The
+secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the contents he said, "It may
+well be read aloud, for what Senor Don Quixote writes to your worship
+deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as
+follows."
+
+
+DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA'S LETTER TO SANCHO PANZA, GOVERNOR OF THE ISLAND
+OF BARATARIA.
+
+When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend
+Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense, for
+which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from the
+dunghill and of fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost govern as
+if thou wert a man, and art a man as if thou wert a beast, so great is
+the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee
+bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the
+authority of office to resist the humility of the heart; for the seemly
+array of one who is invested with grave duties should be such as they
+require and not measured by what his own humble tastes may lead him to
+prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up does not look like a stick; I do
+not say thou shouldst wear trinkets or fine raiment, or that being a
+judge thou shouldst dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array
+thyself in the apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it
+be neat and handsome. To win the good-will of the people thou governest
+there are two things, among others, that thou must do; one is to be civil
+to all (this, however, I told thee before), and the other to take care
+that food be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the
+poor more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations; but
+those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that
+they be observed and carried out; for proclamations that are not observed
+are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they encourage the idea that
+the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the
+power to enforce them; and laws that threaten and are not enforced come
+to be like the log, the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first,
+but that in time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue
+and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always lenient,
+but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in that is the aim of
+wisdom. Visit the gaols, the slaughter-houses, and the market-places; for
+the presence of the governor is of great importance in such places; it
+comforts the prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release, it is the
+bugbear of the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the
+terror of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that
+thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe) covetous, a
+follower of women, or a glutton; for when the people and those that have
+dealings with thee become aware of thy special weakness they will bring
+their batteries to bear upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought
+thee down to the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and
+con over again the advices and the instructions I gave thee before thy
+departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in them, if
+thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for
+thee the troubles and difficulties that beset governors at every step.
+Write to thy lord and lady and show thyself grateful to them, for
+ingratitude is the daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we
+know of; and he who is grateful to those who have been good to him shows
+that he will be so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many
+blessings upon him.
+
+My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another
+present to thy wife Teresa Panza; we expect the answer every moment. I
+have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in for,
+not very much to the benefit of my nose; but it was nothing; for if there
+are enchanters who maltreat me, there are also some who defend me. Let me
+know if the majordomo who is with thee had any share in the Trifaldi
+performance, as thou didst suspect; and keep me informed of everything
+that happens thee, as the distance is so short; all the more as I am
+thinking of giving over very shortly this idle life I am now leading, for
+I was not born for it. A thing has occurred to me which I am inclined to
+think will put me out of favour with the duke and duchess; but though I
+am sorry for it I do not care, for after all I must obey my calling
+rather than their pleasure, in accordance with the common saying, amicus
+Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I quote this Latin to thee because I
+conclude that since thou hast been a governor thou wilt have learned it.
+Adieu; God keep thee from being an object of pity to anyone.
+
+Thy friend, DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA.
+
+
+Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was praised
+and considered wise by all who heard it; he then rose up from table, and
+calling his secretary shut himself in with him in his own room, and
+without putting it off any longer set about answering his master Don
+Quixote at once; and he bade the secretary write down what he told him
+without adding or suppressing anything, which he did, and the answer was
+to the following effect.
+
+
+SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA.
+
+The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time to
+scratch my head or even to cut my nails; and I have them so long-God send
+a remedy for it. I say this, master of my soul, that you may not be
+surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I fare, well or
+ill, in this government, in which I am suffering more hunger than when we
+two were wandering through the woods and wastes.
+
+My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain spies
+had got into this island to kill me; but up to the present I have not
+found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary in this town
+for killing all the governors that come here; he is called Doctor Pedro
+Recio, and is from Tirteafuera; so you see what a name he has to make me
+dread dying under his hands. This doctor says of himself that he does not
+cure diseases when there are any, but prevents them coming, and the
+medicines he uses are diet and more diet until he brings one down to bare
+bones; as if leanness was not worse than fever.
+
+In short he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying myself of vexation;
+for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my meat hot and
+my drink cool, and take my ease between holland sheets on feather beds, I
+find I have come to do penance as if I was a hermit; and as I don't do it
+willingly I suspect that in the end the devil will carry me off.
+
+So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes, and I don't know
+what to think of it; for here they tell me that the governors that come
+to this island, before entering it have plenty of money either given to
+them or lent to them by the people of the town, and that this is the
+usual custom not only here but with all who enter upon governments.
+
+Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in man's clothes,
+and a brother of hers dressed as a woman; my head-carver has fallen in
+love with the girl, and has in his own mind chosen her for a wife, so he
+says, and I have chosen youth for a son-in-law; to-day we are going to
+explain our intentions to the father of the pair, who is one Diego de la
+Llana, a gentleman and an old Christian as much as you please.
+
+I have visited the market-places, as your worship advises me, and
+yesterday I found a stall-keeper selling new hazel nuts and proved her to
+have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of new; I
+confiscated the whole for the children of the charity-school, who will
+know how to distinguish them well enough, and I sentenced her not to come
+into the market-place for a fortnight; they told me I did bravely. I can
+tell your worship it is commonly said in this town that there are no
+people worse than the market-women, for they are all barefaced,
+unconscionable, and impudent, and I can well believe it from what I have
+seen of them in other towns.
+
+I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife Teresa Panza
+and sent her the present your worship speaks of; and I will strive to
+show myself grateful when the time comes; kiss her hands for me, and tell
+her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole in it, as she
+will see in the end. I should not like your worship to have any
+difference with my lord and lady; for if you fall out with them it is
+plain it must do me harm; and as you give me advice to be grateful it
+will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to those who have
+shown you such kindness, and by whom you have been treated so hospitably
+in their castle.
+
+That about the scratching I don't understand; but I suppose it must be
+one of the ill-turns the wicked enchanters are always doing your worship;
+when we meet I shall know all about it. I wish I could send your worship
+something; but I don't know what to send, unless it be some very curious
+clyster pipes, to work with bladders, that they make in this island; but
+if the office remains with me I'll find out something to send, one way or
+another. If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pay the postage and send
+me the letter, for I have a very great desire to hear how my house and
+wife and children are going on. And so, may God deliver your worship from
+evil-minded enchanters, and bring me well and peacefully out of this
+government, which I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life
+together, from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me.
+
+Your worship's servant
+
+SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR.
+
+
+The secretary sealed the letter, and immediately dismissed the courier;
+and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho putting their
+heads together arranged how he was to be dismissed from the government.
+Sancho spent the afternoon in drawing up certain ordinances relating to
+the good government of what he fancied the island; and he ordained that
+there were to be no provision hucksters in the State, and that men might
+import wine into it from any place they pleased, provided they declared
+the quarter it came from, so that a price might be put upon it according
+to its quality, reputation, and the estimation it was held in; and he
+that watered his wine, or changed the name, was to forfeit his life for
+it. He reduced the prices of all manner of shoes, boots, and stockings,
+but of shoes in particular, as they seemed to him to run extravagantly
+high. He established a fixed rate for servants' wages, which were
+becoming recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon
+those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night. He decreed
+that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse, unless he could
+produce authentic evidence that it was true, for it was his opinion that
+most of those the blind men sing are trumped up, to the detriment of the
+true ones. He established and created an alguacil of the poor, not to
+harass them, but to examine them and see whether they really were so; for
+many a sturdy thief or drunkard goes about under cover of a make-believe
+crippled limb or a sham sore. In a word, he made so many good rules that
+to this day they are preserved there, and are called The constitutions of
+the great governor Sancho Panza.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LII.
+
+WHEREIN IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND DISTRESSED OR AFFLICTED
+DUENNA, OTHERWISE CALLED DONA RODRIGUEZ
+
+
+Cide Hamete relates that Don Quixote being now cured of his scratches
+felt that the life he was leading in the castle was entirely inconsistent
+with the order of chivalry he professed, so he determined to ask the duke
+and duchess to permit him to take his departure for Saragossa, as the
+time of the festival was now drawing near, and he hoped to win there the
+suit of armour which is the prize at festivals of the sort. But one day
+at table with the duke and duchess, just as he was about to carry his
+resolution into effect and ask for their permission, lo and behold
+suddenly there came in through the door of the great hall two women, as
+they afterwards proved to be, draped in mourning from head to foot, one
+of whom approaching Don Quixote flung herself at full length at his feet,
+pressing her lips to them, and uttering moans so sad, so deep, and so
+doleful that she put all who heard and saw her into a state of
+perplexity; and though the duke and duchess supposed it must be some joke
+their servants were playing off upon Don Quixote, still the earnest way
+the woman sighed and moaned and wept puzzled them and made them feel
+uncertain, until Don Quixote, touched with compassion, raised her up and
+made her unveil herself and remove the mantle from her tearful face. She
+complied and disclosed what no one could have ever anticipated, for she
+disclosed the countenance of Dona Rodriguez, the duenna of the house; the
+other female in mourning being her daughter, who had been made a fool of
+by the rich farmer's son. All who knew her were filled with astonishment,
+and the duke and duchess more than any; for though they thought her a
+simpleton and a weak creature, they did not think her capable of crazy
+pranks. Dona Rodriguez, at length, turning to her master and mistress
+said to them, "Will your excellences be pleased to permit me to speak to
+this gentleman for a moment, for it is requisite I should do so in order
+to get successfully out of the business in which the boldness of an
+evil-minded clown has involved me?"
+
+The duke said that for his part he gave her leave, and that she might
+speak with Senor Don Quixote as much as she liked.
+
+She then, turning to Don Quixote and addressing herself to him said,
+"Some days since, valiant knight, I gave you an account of the injustice
+and treachery of a wicked farmer to my dearly beloved daughter, the
+unhappy damsel here before you, and you promised me to take her part and
+right the wrong that has been done her; but now it has come to my hearing
+that you are about to depart from this castle in quest of such fair
+adventures as God may vouchsafe to you; therefore, before you take the
+road, I would that you challenge this froward rustic, and compel him to
+marry my daughter in fulfillment of the promise he gave her to become her
+husband before he seduced her; for to expect that my lord the duke will
+do me justice is to ask pears from the elm tree, for the reason I stated
+privately to your worship; and so may our Lord grant you good health and
+forsake us not."
+
+To these words Don Quixote replied very gravely and solemnly, "Worthy
+duenna, check your tears, or rather dry them, and spare your sighs, for I
+take it upon myself to obtain redress for your daughter, for whom it
+would have been better not to have been so ready to believe lovers'
+promises, which are for the most part quickly made and very slowly
+performed; and so, with my lord the duke's leave, I will at once go in
+quest of this inhuman youth, and will find him out and challenge him and
+slay him, if so be he refuses to keep his promised word; for the chief
+object of my profession is to spare the humble and chastise the proud; I
+mean, to help the distressed and destroy the oppressors."
+
+"There is no necessity," said the duke, "for your worship to take the
+trouble of seeking out the rustic of whom this worthy duenna complains,
+nor is there any necessity, either, for asking my leave to challenge him;
+for I admit him duly challenged, and will take care that he is informed
+of the challenge, and accepts it, and comes to answer it in person to
+this castle of mine, where I shall afford to both a fair field, observing
+all the conditions which are usually and properly observed in such
+trials, and observing too justice to both sides, as all princes who offer
+a free field to combatants within the limits of their lordships are bound
+to do."
+
+"Then with that assurance and your highness's good leave," said Don
+Quixote, "I hereby for this once waive my privilege of gentle blood, and
+come down and put myself on a level with the lowly birth of the
+wrong-doer, making myself equal with him and enabling him to enter into
+combat with me; and so, I challenge and defy him, though absent, on the
+plea of his malfeasance in breaking faith with this poor damsel, who was
+a maiden and now by his misdeed is none; and say that he shall fulfill
+the promise he gave her to become her lawful husband, or else stake his
+life upon the question."
+
+And then plucking off a glove he threw it down in the middle of the hall,
+and the duke picked it up, saying, as he had said before, that he
+accepted the challenge in the name of his vassal, and fixed six days
+thence as the time, the courtyard of the castle as the place, and for
+arms the customary ones of knights, lance and shield and full armour,
+with all the other accessories, without trickery, guile, or charms of any
+sort, and examined and passed by the judges of the field. "But first of
+all," he said, "it is requisite that this worthy duenna and unworthy
+damsel should place their claim for justice in the hands of Don Quixote;
+for otherwise nothing can be done, nor can the said challenge be brought
+to a lawful issue."
+
+"I do so place it," replied the duenna.
+
+"And I too," added her daughter, all in tears and covered with shame and
+confusion.
+
+This declaration having been made, and the duke having settled in his own
+mind what he would do in the matter, the ladies in black withdrew, and
+the duchess gave orders that for the future they were not to be treated
+as servants of hers, but as lady adventurers who came to her house to
+demand justice; so they gave them a room to themselves and waited on them
+as they would on strangers, to the consternation of the other
+women-servants, who did not know where the folly and imprudence of Dona
+Rodriguez and her unlucky daughter would stop.
+
+And now, to complete the enjoyment of the feast and bring the dinner to a
+satisfactory end, lo and behold the page who had carried the letters and
+presents to Teresa Panza, the wife of the governor Sancho, entered the
+hall; and the duke and duchess were very well pleased to see him, being
+anxious to know the result of his journey; but when they asked him the
+page said in reply that he could not give it before so many people or in
+a few words, and begged their excellences to be pleased to let it wait
+for a private opportunity, and in the meantime amuse themselves with
+these letters; and taking out the letters he placed them in the duchess's
+hand. One bore by way of address, Letter for my lady the Duchess
+So-and-so, of I don't know where; and the other To my husband Sancho
+Panza, governor of the island of Barataria, whom God prosper longer than
+me. The duchess's bread would not bake, as the saying is, until she had
+read her letter; and having looked over it herself and seen that it might
+be read aloud for the duke and all present to hear, she read out as
+follows.
+
+
+TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO THE DUCHESS.
+
+The letter your highness wrote me, my lady, gave me great pleasure, for
+indeed I found it very welcome. The string of coral beads is very fine,
+and my husband's hunting suit does not fall short of it. All this village
+is very much pleased that your ladyship has made a governor of my good
+man Sancho; though nobody will believe it, particularly the curate, and
+Master Nicholas the barber, and the bachelor Samson Carrasco; but I don't
+care for that, for so long as it is true, as it is, they may all say what
+they like; though, to tell the truth, if the coral beads and the suit had
+not come I would not have believed it either; for in this village
+everybody thinks my husband a numskull, and except for governing a flock
+of goats, they cannot fancy what sort of government he can be fit for.
+God grant it, and direct him according as he sees his children stand in
+need of it. I am resolved with your worship's leave, lady of my soul, to
+make the most of this fair day, and go to Court to stretch myself at ease
+in a coach, and make all those I have envying me already burst their eyes
+out; so I beg your excellence to order my husband to send me a small
+trifle of money, and to let it be something to speak of, because one's
+expenses are heavy at the Court; for a loaf costs a real, and meat thirty
+maravedis a pound, which is beyond everything; and if he does not want me
+to go let him tell me in time, for my feet are on the fidgets to be off;
+and my friends and neighbours tell me that if my daughter and I make a
+figure and a brave show at Court, my husband will come to be known far
+more by me than I by him, for of course plenty of people will ask, "Who
+are those ladies in that coach?" and some servant of mine will answer,
+"The wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor of the island of
+Barataria;" and in this way Sancho will become known, and I'll be thought
+well of, and "to Rome for everything." I am as vexed as vexed can be that
+they have gathered no acorns this year in our village; for all that I
+send your highness about half a peck that I went to the wood to gather
+and pick out one by one myself, and I could find no bigger ones; I wish
+they were as big as ostrich eggs.
+
+Let not your high mightiness forget to write to me; and I will take care
+to answer, and let you know how I am, and whatever news there may be in
+this place, where I remain, praying our Lord to have your highness in his
+keeping and not to forget me.
+
+Sancha my daughter, and my son, kiss your worship's hands.
+
+She who would rather see your ladyship than write to you,
+
+Your servant,
+
+TERESA PANZA.
+
+
+All were greatly amused by Teresa Panza's letter, but particularly the
+duke and duchess; and the duchess asked Don Quixote's opinion whether
+they might open the letter that had come for the governor, which she
+suspected must be very good. Don Quixote said that to gratify them he
+would open it, and did so, and found that it ran as follows.
+
+
+TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND SANCHO PANZA.
+
+I got thy letter, Sancho of my soul, and I promise thee and swear as a
+Catholic Christian that I was within two fingers' breadth of going mad I
+was so happy. I can tell thee, brother, when I came to hear that thou
+wert a governor I thought I should have dropped dead with pure joy; and
+thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as great sorrow; and as
+for Sanchica thy daughter, she leaked from sheer happiness. I had before
+me the suit thou didst send me, and the coral beads my lady the duchess
+sent me round my neck, and the letters in my hands, and there was the
+bearer of them standing by, and in spite of all this I verily believed
+and thought that what I saw and handled was all a dream; for who could
+have thought that a goatherd would come to be a governor of islands? Thou
+knowest, my friend, what my mother used to say, that one must live long
+to see much; I say it because I expect to see more if I live longer; for
+I don't expect to stop until I see thee a farmer of taxes or a collector
+of revenue, which are offices where, though the devil carries off those
+who make a bad use of them, still they make and handle money. My lady the
+duchess will tell thee the desire I have to go to the Court; consider the
+matter and let me know thy pleasure; I will try to do honour to thee by
+going in a coach.
+
+Neither the curate, nor the barber, nor the bachelor, nor even the
+sacristan, can believe that thou art a governor, and they say the whole
+thing is a delusion or an enchantment affair, like everything belonging
+to thy master Don Quixote; and Samson says he must go in search of thee
+and drive the government out of thy head and the madness out of Don
+Quixote's skull; I only laugh, and look at my string of beads, and plan
+out the dress I am going to make for our daughter out of thy suit. I sent
+some acorns to my lady the duchess; I wish they had been gold. Send me
+some strings of pearls if they are in fashion in that island. Here is the
+news of the village; La Berrueca has married her daughter to a
+good-for-nothing painter, who came here to paint anything that might turn
+up. The council gave him an order to paint his Majesty's arms over the
+door of the town-hall; he asked two ducats, which they paid him in
+advance; he worked for eight days, and at the end of them had nothing
+painted, and then said he had no turn for painting such trifling things;
+he returned the money, and for all that has married on the pretence of
+being a good workman; to be sure he has now laid aside his paint-brush
+and taken a spade in hand, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Pedro
+Lobo's son has received the first orders and tonsure, with the intention
+of becoming a priest. Minguilla, Mingo Silvato's granddaughter, found it
+out, and has gone to law with him on the score of having given her
+promise of marriage. Evil tongues say she is with child by him, but he
+denies it stoutly. There are no olives this year, and there is not a drop
+of vinegar to be had in the whole village. A company of soldiers passed
+through here; when they left they took away with them three of the girls
+of the village; I will not tell thee who they are; perhaps they will come
+back, and they will be sure to find those who will take them for wives
+with all their blemishes, good or bad. Sanchica is making bonelace; she
+earns eight maravedis a day clear, which she puts into a moneybox as a
+help towards house furnishing; but now that she is a governor's daughter
+thou wilt give her a portion without her working for it. The fountain in
+the plaza has run dry. A flash of lightning struck the gibbet, and I wish
+they all lit there. I look for an answer to this, and to know thy mind
+about my going to the Court; and so, God keep thee longer than me, or as
+long, for I would not leave thee in this world without me.
+
+Thy wife,
+
+TERESA PANZA.
+
+
+The letters were applauded, laughed over, relished, and admired; and
+then, as if to put the seal to the business, the courier arrived,
+bringing the one Sancho sent to Don Quixote, and this, too, was read out,
+and it raised some doubts as to the governor's simplicity. The duchess
+withdrew to hear from the page about his adventures in Sancho's village,
+which he narrated at full length without leaving a single circumstance
+unmentioned. He gave her the acorns, and also a cheese which Teresa had
+given him as being particularly good and superior to those of Tronchon.
+The duchess received it with greatest delight, in which we will leave
+her, to describe the end of the government of the great Sancho Panza,
+flower and mirror of all governors of islands.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LIII.
+
+OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA'S GOVERNMENT CAME TO
+
+
+To fancy that in this life anything belonging to it will remain for ever
+in the same state is an idle fancy; on the contrary, in it everything
+seems to go in a circle, I mean round and round. The spring succeeds the
+summer, the summer the fall, the fall the autumn, the autumn the winter,
+and the winter the spring, and so time rolls with never-ceasing wheel.
+Man's life alone, swifter than time, speeds onward to its end without any
+hope of renewal, save it be in that other life which is endless and
+boundless. Thus saith Cide Hamete the Mahometan philosopher; for there
+are many that by the light of nature alone, without the light of faith,
+have a comprehension of the fleeting nature and instability of this
+present life and the endless duration of that eternal life we hope for;
+but our author is here speaking of the rapidity with which Sancho's
+government came to an end, melted away, disappeared, vanished as it were
+in smoke and shadow. For as he lay in bed on the night of the seventh day
+of his government, sated, not with bread and wine, but with delivering
+judgments and giving opinions and making laws and proclamations, just as
+sleep, in spite of hunger, was beginning to close his eyelids, he heard
+such a noise of bell-ringing and shouting that one would have fancied the
+whole island was going to the bottom. He sat up in bed and remained
+listening intently to try if he could make out what could be the cause of
+so great an uproar; not only, however, was he unable to discover what it
+was, but as countless drums and trumpets now helped to swell the din of
+the bells and shouts, he was more puzzled than ever, and filled with fear
+and terror; and getting up he put on a pair of slippers because of the
+dampness of the floor, and without throwing a dressing gown or anything
+of the kind over him he rushed out of the door of his room, just in time
+to see approaching along a corridor a band of more than twenty persons
+with lighted torches and naked swords in their hands, all shouting out,
+"To arms, to arms, senor governor, to arms! The enemy is in the island in
+countless numbers, and we are lost unless your skill and valour come to
+our support."
+
+Keeping up this noise, tumult, and uproar, they came to where Sancho
+stood dazed and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as they
+approached one of them called out to him, "Arm at once, your lordship, if
+you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost."
+
+"What have I to do with arming?" said Sancho. "What do I know about arms
+or supports? Better leave all that to my master Don Quixote, who will
+settle it and make all safe in a trice; for I, sinner that I am, God help
+me, don't understand these scuffles."
+
+"Ah, senor governor," said another, "what slackness of mettle this is!
+Arm yourself; here are arms for you, offensive and defensive; come out to
+the plaza and be our leader and captain; it falls upon you by right, for
+you are our governor."
+
+"Arm me then, in God's name," said Sancho, and they at once produced two
+large shields they had come provided with, and placed them upon him over
+his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, one shield in front
+and the other behind, and passing his arms through openings they had
+made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that there he was walled and
+boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable to bend his knees or stir
+a single step. In his hand they placed a lance, on which he leant to keep
+himself from falling, and as soon as they had him thus fixed they bade
+him march forward and lead them on and give them all courage; for with
+him for their guide and lamp and morning star, they were sure to bring
+their business to a successful issue.
+
+"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?" said Sancho, "when I can't
+stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight to my body
+won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, and lay me
+across or set me upright in some postern, and I'll hold it either with
+this lance or with my body."
+
+"On, senor governor!" cried another, "it is fear more than the boards
+that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, for there is no
+time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, the shouts grow louder,
+and the danger is pressing."
+
+Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made an
+attempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that he
+fancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like a tortoise
+enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between two kneading-troughs,
+or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gang of jokers feel any
+compassion for him when they saw him down; so far from that,
+extinguishing their torches they began to shout afresh and to renew the
+calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poor Sancho, and slashing at
+him over the shield with their swords in such a way that, if he had not
+gathered himself together and made himself small and drawn in his head
+between the shields, it would have fared badly with the poor governor,
+as, squeezed into that narrow compass, he lay, sweating and sweating
+again, and commending himself with all his heart to God to deliver him
+from his present peril. Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and
+one there was who took up a position on top of him for some time, and
+from thence as if from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting
+out, "Here, our side! Here the enemy is thickest! Hold the breach there!
+Shut that gate! Barricade those ladders! Here with your stink-pots of
+pitch and resin, and kettles of boiling oil! Block the streets with
+feather beds!" In short, in his ardour he mentioned every little thing,
+and every implement and engine of war by means of which an assault upon a
+city is warded off, while the bruised and battered Sancho, who heard and
+suffered all, was saying to himself, "O if it would only please the Lord
+to let the island be lost at once, and I could see myself either dead or
+out of this torture!" Heaven heard his prayer, and when he least expected
+it he heard voices exclaiming, "Victory, victory! The enemy retreats
+beaten! Come, senor governor, get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and
+divide the spoils that have been won from the foe by the might of that
+invincible arm."
+
+"Lift me up," said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. They helped
+him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, "The enemy I have
+beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don't want to divide the spoils of
+the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I have one, to give me a
+sup of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipe me dry, for I'm
+turning to water."
+
+They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields, and he
+seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, and fatigue he
+fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke were now sorry
+they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his fainting away had
+caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. He asked what
+o'clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He said no more, and
+in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him, waiting to see
+what the haste with which he was putting on his clothes meant.
+
+He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he was sorely
+bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable, followed by
+all who were present, and going up to Dapple embraced him and gave him a
+loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, not without tears in his
+eyes, "Come along, comrade and friend and partner of my toils and
+sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares to trouble me except
+mending your harness and feeding your little carcass, happy were my
+hours, my days, and my years; but since I left you, and mounted the
+towers of ambition and pride, a thousand miseries, a thousand troubles,
+and four thousand anxieties have entered into my soul;" and all the while
+he was speaking in this strain he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass,
+without a word from anyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he, with great
+pain and difficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the
+majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the doctor and
+several others who stood by, he said, "Make way, gentlemen, and let me go
+back to my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myself
+up from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protect
+islands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them. Ploughing
+and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more in my way than defending
+provinces or kingdoms. 'Saint Peter is very well at Rome; I mean each of
+us is best following the trade he was born to. A reaping-hook fits my
+hand better than a governor's sceptre; I'd rather have my fill of
+gazpacho' than be subject to the misery of a meddling doctor who me with
+hunger, and I'd rather lie in summer under the shade of an oak, and in
+winter wrap myself in a double sheepskin jacket in freedom, than go to
+bed between holland sheets and dress in sables under the restraint of a
+government. God be with your worships, and tell my lord the duke that
+'naked I was born, naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain;' I mean
+that without a farthing I came into this government, and without a
+farthing I go out of it, very different from the way governors commonly
+leave other islands. Stand aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself,
+for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies that
+have been trampling over me to-night."
+
+"That is unnecessary, senor governor," said Doctor Recio, "for I will
+give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that will soon make
+you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet I promise your
+worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifully of whatever you
+like."
+
+"You spoke late," said Sancho. "I'd as soon turn Turk as stay any longer.
+Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soon remain in this
+government, or take another, even if it was offered me between two
+plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the breed of the Panzas,
+and they are every one of them obstinate, and if they once say 'odds,'
+odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in spite of all the world.
+Here in this stable I leave the ant's wings that lifted me up into the
+air for the swifts and other birds to eat me, and let's take to level
+ground and our feet once more; and if they're not shod in pinked shoes of
+cordovan, they won't want for rough sandals of hemp; 'every ewe to her
+like,' 'and let no one stretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet;'
+and now let me pass, for it's growing late with me."
+
+To this the majordomo said, "Senor governor, we would let your worship go
+with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to lose you, for your
+wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regret you; but it is well
+known that every governor, before he leaves the place where he has been
+governing, is bound first of all to render an account. Let your worship
+do so for the ten days you have held the government, and then you may go
+and the peace of God go with you."
+
+"No one can demand it of me," said Sancho, "but he whom my lord the duke
+shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I will render an exact
+one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, there is no other proof
+needed to show that I have governed like an angel."
+
+"By God the great Sancho is right," said Doctor Recio, "and we should let
+him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to see him."
+
+They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering to bear
+him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his own comfort or for
+the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything more than a little
+barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaf for himself; for the
+distance being so short there was no occasion for any better or bulkier
+provant. They all embraced him, and he with tears embraced all of them,
+and left them filled with admiration not only at his remarks but at his
+firm and sensible resolution.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II.,
+Part 33, by Miguel de Cervantes
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