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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1f09520 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #55292 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/55292) diff --git a/old/55292-0.txt b/old/55292-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 0a88d99..0000000 --- a/old/55292-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1000 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Scaring Off Of Teddy Dawson, by Harold Brighouse - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: The Scaring Off Of Teddy Dawson - -Author: Harold Brighouse - -Release Date: August 7, 2017 [EBook #55292] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON *** - - - - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - - - - - - -THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON - -A Comedy In One Act - -By Harold Brighouse - -London: Samuel French, Ltd - -1911 - -[Illustration: 0007] - - - - - -THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON - -_Living room of a small house in an East End sidestreet. Door direct to -street back centre. Next it, window. Door to house l. Kitchen range R. -Dresser with crockery l. Centre is a table. Four deal chairs. At the -table Polly Bettesworth is ironing as the curtain rises. She is no more -than fifty, but a hard life has aged her in appearance beyond her years. -A cheap serge skirt and a dark printed blouse, with elastic-sided boots, -form her visible attire. Her husband (Andrew) throws open the door c. -and enters rapidly from street. He is a navvy, dressed in corduroy, with -a leather belt, and is in his shirt sleeves, having been to the nearest -public for the supper beer, which is in a large jug in his hand He is a -large man, and Polly seems small by con-start. It is evening, but still -light._ - -***** - -Andrew (_angrily_). Where's our Liza? - -Polly. What do yer want 'er for? - -Andrew (_closing door_). I'm goin' to tan 'er 'ide for 'er. - -Polly. What's to do? (_Calmly continuing ironing_) - -Andrew (_crossing to door l._). I'll put beer in back to keep cool an' -then I'll tell yer. (_Opens left door, leaves jug inside and closes door -again._) Now, do yer know wot I've bin 'earing in the _Bluebell_ abart -our Liza? - -Polly. Tell me. - -Andrew. Liza's started courtin'! That's wot that whistlin's bin as we've -bin 'earing so much lately. - -Polly (_stopping ironing_). Courtin'! At 'er age? - -Andrew. It's Gawd's truth. Wait while I catch the bloke wot's after 'er. -I'll skin 'im alive. - -Polly (_sitting_). Liza courtin'! I don't know wot things is comin' to -nowadays. Young girls are gettin' a set of forward hussies that haven't -hardly laid by their skipping-ropes afore they're thinkin' they're ould -enough to get wed. I fancied we'd brought 'er up different to that. - -Andrew. I'll fancy 'er--'er an' 'er fancy man, an' all. I'll teach 'im -to come round 'ere whistling for our Liza. We ain't partin' with Liza -yet. She's the only 'un left to us now. - -Polly. Yus. T'other girls went off a sight too young. Fust Martha an' -then Sally must be havin' their blokes an' gettin' wed. But I didn't -think it of Liza. She's kept 'er mouth shut. Them quiet 'uns are always -deep. - -Andrew. Nature 'ull 'ave its way with 'em so what you do. (_Fiercely._) -But I'll spoil this chap's little game. I don't like 'im, not arf like -'im I don't. - -Polly. Who is 'e? - -Andrew. Teddy Dawson's 'is name. - -Polly (_rising_). Teddy Dawson! Wild as they make 'em that chap is. 'E's -after no good with Liza. - -Andrew. I'll mar 'is good looks if I catch 'im. 'E'll not be so keen on -comin' an' whistlin' at street corner like a canary in a fit. And I'll -give Liza the taste of my strap an' all. - -Polly (_firmly_). Yer'll not touch the girl. Andrew. - -Andrew. Who won't? - -Polly. I'll give 'er a piece of my mind. - -Andrew. An' I'll give 'er a piece of my belt. - -Polly. Yer won't. Me an' yer didn't arsk our old 'uns for leave to start -courtin'. Liza ull go the way o' all flesh when 'er time comes. - -Andrew. Yus, but 'er time ain't come yet, not by a bloomin' long chalk, -an' I'll make 'er know it. - -Polly. Yer leave Liza to me. Yer can do wot yer loike with Teddy Dawson -an' welcome. - -Andrew. I'll make 'im wish 'e'd never bin born. - -Polly. I dunno. Yer've tried that road twice--with Martha's man an' -Sally's. - -Andrew (_reminiscently, gloating_). I did an' all. They didn't 'ave much -of a larky toime courtin'. I put strap abart both of 'em more than once. - -Polly. An' they only came the more. - -Andrew. Yus. They was spunky fellows. This bloke 'ull not take it that -way. 'E'll cut an' run. - -Polly. I'm not so sure it's the right road to scare 'em off. - -Andrew. It's the only road I knows of. Do yer think yer knows a better? - -Polly. I dunno as I do. Hush! There's Liza comin' downstairs. Now, keep -yer mouth shut till I've had my say. - -(_Enter l. Liza, a girl of sixteen, with black alpaca skirt to her -ankles, gaudy stockings, cheap "flash" shoes, a purple blouse and a hat -with coster feathers._) - -Polly. My word, Liza, yer do make yerself smart for evenin's. Yer might -be courtin' the way yer've decked yerself. - -Liza. There's no 'arm in puttin' on a bit of finery, is there, mother? -If yer've got things, yer might as well show 'em. Don't do 'em no good -to lie by in a drawer. - -Polly. Be careful, girl. Yer'll 'ave some fellow takin' a fancy to yer -if yer go down the Mile End Road in that gear. Foine feathers don't make -foine birds. (_Liza tosses her head._) - -Andrew. Birds! Yus. Puts me in moind of that crazed canary wot comes -rahnd the 'ouse whistlin' of an evenin'. (_A whistle pipes a little tune -at back._) Rot it! There's the darned thing now. (_Unbuckling belt._) -I'll make 'im whistle if I catch 'im. (_Liza runs to door c. to stop -his way._) Now-then, Liza, out of my way if yer don't want a taste of -this yerself. (_Swings strap round._) 'Ere, if yer've nothin' ter do in -the 'ouse get orf to bed. Yer'll not go out this night. (_Exit swinging -strap. Liza sits with her handkerchief to her eyes._) - -Polly (_softly_). Wot's to do with yer, Liza? - -Liza. Oh 'e'll 'urt 'im. - -Polly. 'Urt who? Is any one there? - -Lisa. I--I don't know. - -Polly (_roughly_). Yus yer do, yer young deceiver. Yer think yer've got -a feller--yer that's just abart goin' into long skirts. I dunno what the -world's comin' to. Young girls is that forward. - -Liza (_rising_). Will father 'urt 'im? - -Polly (_grimly_). Depends which on 'em's the better man. - -Liza (_tearfully_). Oh! - -Polly (_kindly_). I dunno that 'e'll do 'im much 'urt. 'E only means to -frighten 'im orf comin' rahnd tryin' to court a girl that's too young -to know wot marryin' means. Yer silly girl! Toime 'ul come soon enough. -'Ere, dry yer eyes an' come to yer mother. When proper time comes, -yer'll not foind us backward at lettin' yer go. It's not come yet by -years. Yer taken by 'is looks an' 'is bold ways. It ain't looks as make -a man. This 'un's one of them sort as bring woe to a girl wot's fool -enough to wed 'em. 'E's your fust, but yer not 'is fust, not by many a -one. - -Liza (_indignantly_). 'E says I am. - -Polly. Hark to that now. Creditin' anything a feller tells yer when 'e's -lurin' yer to 'is arms. (_The whistle pipes l. Liza hears it and jerks -up her head. Polly fails to notice it._) Eh, not that I blame yer so -much, yer too young to know different. P'raps yer'd best go to yer -bed, as yer father said, an' ave yer cry out. Yer'll be better in the -mornin'. - -Liza (_with a quick look off l. in the direction of the whistling_). -All right, mother. (_She reaches the door, losses her head defiantly -and exit l. Polly gets some matches and is about to light the gas when -Andrew opens the door c. and returns buckling on his belt. It is growing -gradually darker. Polly puts the match box down unused._) - -Polly. Well, 'ave yer trounced 'im? - -Andrew. No. 'E dodged me some'ow an I 'eard is darned whistle goin' -impudent afterward I reckon 'e wants to get 'er out, but I'll watch 'im -at it. - -Polly. Liza's gorn to bed to 'ave 'er cry out. She'll get over it by -mornin'. Young 'uns don't take love bad. (_Whistle sounds off l._) - -Andrew (_moving to door c._). Darn 'im for a piece of brassen impudence! -If I don't break an' spoil 'is whistle for 'im, my name's not Andrew -Bettesworth. I'll raise a lump on 'is thick 'ead big enough for 'im to -'ang 'is 'at on. - -Polly (_detaining him with her hand on his arm_). I'm not so sure, -Andrew. I've bin thinkin' as that's not right road o' dealin' with 'im. - -Andrew. Right or wrong, 'e'll feel the weight of my belt with my arm -behind it when I catch 'im. - -Polly. I'll tell yer wot I'm thinkin. Yer leathered the fellers wot came -after Martha an' Sally, but it didn't choke 'em orf. Made 'em all the -keener. Made 'em think the girls was jewels, or yer'd not make so much -fuss abart lettin' go of 'em. Let this feller think the girl's a wrong -'un an' 'e'll cool orf quick enough. - -Andrew. Well, so they are jewels, an' Liza's the best of the bunch. - -Polly. Yus, o' course she is, but you don't need to let 'im know it. -Make 'im think yer'd be glad to get shut of 'er. Then 'e'll start -thinkin' there's somethin' wrong abart the girl an' lave er' alone. - -Andrew. (_shaking her off_). Garn, that's all woman's bunkum. It takes -a man to dal with a job like this 'ere. Wot 'e wants is a thick ear an' -I'll stick it out till I catch 'im an' give it 'im an all. - -(_Unbuckling his belt and going out centre. Polly removes her ironing -from table. Suddenly she assumes a listenin attitude, then tiptoes -to the door L. and opens it quietly. Teddy and Liza are standing just -outside it. He has his arm round her waist. He is a good looking young -man, short, dark, clean-shaven in a shoddy suit with muffler round his -neck._) - -Teddy. I love yer so I could eat yer. - -Polly. Yer'd 'ave a foine belly ache, an all, if 'er flesh were as sour -as 'er temper. (_Teddy stands amazed, then begins to move away._) Yer'd -never run from a woman, would yer? (_Teddy stops._) Come in. I'm sure -yer welcome. (_Teddy and Liza enter, suspicious and reluctant. Polly -hands a chair out._) Sit yer down. Don't be shy. Yer welcome to come -'ere if yer'll do yer courtin' proper an' drop yer dancin' abart outside -with that whistle of yours. 'Ticin' Liza out after she's bin sent to -bed. Yer slipped out o' back door I reckon, Liza? - -Liza (_timidly_). Yus, mother. - -Polly. I thought so. (_Cordially._) Well, yer'll 'ave no need to carry -on that road now. We're goin' to 'ave this square an' straight. Liza, -I'm sure Mr. Dawson's ready for a bit of supper. There ain't nothing -like peckin' a bit together when you want to get friendly. (_Finishing -the removal of ironing from table._) Now, Liza, get a move on. Where's -that piece of boiled bacon as we found good chewing yesterday? Bustle -round, girl. (_Liza takes a cloth from dresser, spreads on table and -lays plates, etc., for two, putting out the bacon, a tin loaf, and -butter._) - -Polly (_drawing up a chair to Teddy's confidentially_). Yer see, Mr. -Dawson, I'm glad yer come in. I 'aven't arf liked yer plan of workin'. -Comin' 'ere an' whistlin' abart the 'ouse as if yer felt feared o' bein' -seen. (_Teddy shifts uncomfortably._) But that's all over now. We're -goin' to 'ave that altered. (_Looking round at table._) Where's yer -'ead, Liza? Do yer think Mr. Dawson can face 'is supper dry? (_Rising._) -There's some beer in the back. I'll go an' fetch it. (_Looking round as -she reaches the door l._) It's gettin' a bit dark in 'ere, Liza. Things -'ull look more cheerful with a light on. It'll give yer somethin' ter -do ter keep yer out of mischief while I'm gorn. (_Exit Polly l. Liza -immediately lights the gas and puts the blind down. Teddy rises._) - -Teddy. Well, blime, Liza this beats everything. Wot made yer tell me -they'd be against it if they knew'? - -Liza. I don't understand this no more than yer do. They didn't set abort -it this road with my sisters' fellers. - -Teddy. Looks like she's took a fancy to me. Nothin' surprisin' in that -neither. Yer've got a sight better kind of a man than yer sisters ever -'ad. - -Liza. That's right enough, Teddy, but I don't like looks of this. Father -used to leather Sally's bloke. - -Teddy. I'm not afraid of 'im so long as I'm on right side of the missus. -I knaw who wears 'em in this 'ouse, an' it ain't the old man. Yus, Liza, -there ain't nothin' to complain of so far. (_Sitting and putting his -thumbs in his waistcoat armholes._) Yer never know yer luck. This 'ere -weren't looked for. I'll not be whistlin' out there for yer termorrer -night. Not arf. I'll walk in at door an' 'ang my 'at up loike as if I -owned the place. (_Looking round._) Tidy few bits of sticks yer've got -an all, Liza. - -Liza. It ain't so bad. - -Teddy. No. I say, Liza, if the missus don't like yer sisters' 'usbands -she'll be glad to see yer wed a man she's taken a fancy to. Fond of yer, -I reckon, too, eh, Liza? - -Liza. Yus. - -Teddy. Yus. Too fond to part. See wot I mean? They'll arsk us to live -'ere arter we're wed. Gettin' on, too, they are. Can't last for ever. - -Liza. Wot are yer gettin' at? - -Teddy. Nothin' particklar. It just struck me there's a nice pair of -shoes to step into 'ere. This is goin' to be a bit of all right, Liza. I -must keep on the sweet side of yer mother. - -Liza (_bridling_). I dunno what yer've got in yer 'ead, Teddy Dawson. I -don't call to moind 'avin said I'd wed yer. I've not bin arsked that I -know of. - -Teddy (_releasing his thumbs and coming to her_). I'm arskn' yer now, -ain't I? - -Liza. I'm not goin' ter be arsked now. When I'm arsked I'll be arsked -proper, an' it'll not be in between while mother fetches the beer. Yer -makin' a bit too sure an all, so yer can put that in yer pipe an' smoke -'it. Don't be in too much of a 'urry abart me nor them shoes of my -father's wot yer mentioned either. - -Teddy (_trying to put his arm round her_). 'Ere, I say, Liza, yer not -offended are yer? - -Liza Yer'd best be careful of yer tongue. - -Teddy. Well, I'll arsk an' arsk till yer say yer'll 'ave me. I'm deep in -love an' I'll not take no for an answer. - -Liza (_softly_). P'raps yer'll not get it neither when yer arsk proper. - -Teddy. That's right. Give us a kiss for a night cap, Liza. - -Liza (_shyly_). I don't think I ought. - -Teddy. Why not? Wot's come over yer? Yer've taken many a score out in -the street an' giver, as good as yer took, an all. - -Liza. I know. I dunno. Seems like street's one thing an' inside's -another. It don't seem same thing with the gas on. - -Teddy. Turn un low if yer feared o' the light. - -Liza. Mother might catch us. - -Teddy. That don't signify. She arsked me in an' told me to do my -courtin' proper. I don't call it proper courtin' for yer to go to yer -bed without a kiss on yer lips fur company. - -Liza. I must get used to it fust. (_Teddy is turning gas down._) Yer -leave that gas be. I'll scream out. (_Teddy turns gas up._) - -Teddy. Look 'ere, Liza, yer darned stand-offish all at once. Yer weren't -above kissin' me in street. - -Liza (_apologetically_). It don't seem same thing in the 'ouse no 'ow, -Teddy. - -Teddy. We wouldn't live in street if we were wed. - -Liza (_with conviction_). No. That's what keeps striking me. It -don't seem same fun in the 'ouse. (_Teddy approaches her again with -resolution._) Here's mother! (_Teddy retreats. Enter Polly, with the -beer jug, which she puts on the table._) - -Polly. 'Ere it is. Why, Liza, where's yer wits bin wool-gatherin'? -Yer've put no glasses out._) (_Liza hurriedly puts two glasses from -dresser on table. Garn, yer've no need to colour up like that if yer did -forget 'em. I'm not so old myself I've forgot my courtin' days. There -ain't nothink surprisin' if yer did forget when yer lover's with yer. -Well, sit yer down, Mr. Dawson. - -Teddy (_sitting quite confidently now_). Thank yer. - -Polly (_drawing up a chair for herself, facing him_) Yer'd best go to -bed, Liza; yer've bin sent there twice ternight. Don't stare like that. -Me an' Mr. Dawson's got to get acquaint an' I reckon I'm old enough, to -do without 'avin' yer for a chaperone. - -Liza (_reluctantly_). All right. Good-noight, mother. - -Polly (_mimicking_). Good-noight, mother! Is that all yer've got ter -say? - -Liza. Yus. As far as I know. - -Polly. Well, if yer keep yer mouth shut the likes o' that when yer wed, -Teddy 'ull be in clover. Wot? Oh, I see. Took yer charnce with 'im while -I got beer, did yer? Righto. Sling yer 'ook. (_Liza goes out l. under -protest._) Now then, Mr. Dawson, we can be comfortable. - -Teddy. 'Ere, where's Mr. Bettesworth? - -Polly (_assuming during the ensuing scene an air of rollicking -camaraderie_). 'E's all right. Out lookin' for somebody, only 'e ain't -lookin' in right place. Don't yer worry abart 'im. Now, yer'll ave a bit -of bacon? - -Teddy (_reassured again_). I don't mind if I do. - -Polly (_cutting and handing_). Righto. Bread's on yer side. (_Polly -helps herself to bacon and accepts a slice of bread from Teddy. They -eat without forks, using bread instead and show no objection to putting -knives in their mouths._) - -Polly (_sarcastically_). I didn't know yer was teetotal. - -Teddy. I ain't. - -Polly. Well, beer was brewed for drinkin', (_Teddy pours himself a glass -and drinks modestly._) - -Teddy (_replacing glass_). Ah! - -Polly. Sup it up. I like a man that can take 'is liquor. Yer drink as if -it feared yer. (_Teddy empties his glass._) That's better. (_She passes -her glass, he fills it and his own._) Now, Mr. Dawson, don't stint -yerself. There ain't nothink like courtin' fur givin' an appetite. Yer -ain't got much to say for yerself. I dunno. Young men don't seem so -brisk at their courtin' as they was when I were a girl. - -Teddy (_nettled_). I don't think I'm pertiklar slow. - -Polly. Well, I'll give yer an instance. That gas. It were lighted the -moment I left room. I saw gleam of it under door. My old man 'ud never -'ave lit it like that when 'im and me courted. I give yer a fair chance, -an all. Yer don't fancy I allays take that long to pick up a jug o' -beer, do yer? - -Teddy. Yus, well that 'ud go down all right with some girls, but it -ain't right way with Liza. - -Polly. Oh, yer know yer own business best, of course, but yer'll not -be above takin' a 'in! from an old woman that was courted afore yer was -born. Yer must make use o' yer charnces. Girls don't like a slow lover. - -Teddy. I'm not so shy, neither. - -Polly. Yer not eatin' much. A feller wants a bit o' somethin' as ull -stick to 'is ribs when 'e's bin courtin'. Don't forget yer beer. Ain't -there no more in jug? (_Teddy drinks up and refills._) Yer'll not get -boozed on a drop like that, and who's to care if yer do? Yer at 'ome -'ere. Drink up and 'ave another. - -Teddy (_pushing plate and glass from him_). I've 'ad enough. (_He -rises._) - -Polly. I'll 'ave somethin' tastier in against yer come termorrer night. -I suppose yer'll be 'ere (_Polly rises._) - -Teddy (_sulkily_). I told Liza I would, but I'm not so sure if I can. - -Polly. Please yerself. Only yer'll keep 'er warm now yer've got so far -if yer'll take my tip. Don't let a girl fancy yer coolin' orf. Now, -understand, yer welcome 'ere so long as yer break yerself of that -whistlin' 'abit. We'll expect yer termorrer. - -Teddy. I dunno as I'll be comin'. My mind's not made up yet. - -Polly. Yer mighty slow abart it. Wot's to do wi' yer? - -Teddy. Nothing. (_Polly puts her hand on his arm in a friendly way._) - -Polly. Because yer've no need to feel awkward T' whole thing 'ull be -straight forward now. Yer've only to go in and win. - -Teddy. Yer a bit anxious abart it. - -Polly. No, Mr. Dawson, no. Not anxious. - -Teddy (_dogmatically_). Yer a sight too keen set on my winnin' for my -taste. - -Polly (_secretly rejoicing_). Yus. Well, I've took a fancy to yer. - -Teddy (_slyly_). Sudden like. 'Ere, I've bin thinkin' now, yer said -somethin' a while back abart Liza's bein' a 'ot tempered 'un. - -Polly (_as if much taken aback_). No. Did I? 'Ot tempered did I say? - -Teddy. Yus. - -Polly. Well, I can't deny she's a 'igh-spirited girl. - -Teddy. 'Igh-spirited, eh? Liza didn't never 'ave much ter say for -'erself out in street. - -Polly (_winking elaborately at him_). That's 'er artfulness. Trust a -girl to be careful when she's got 'er eye on a man. - -Teddy (_moving towards door_). I think I'll go 'ome. Yer've give me a lot -to think abart. - -Polly. I tell you wot, Mr. Dawson, yer slip in fur yer dinner on Sunday. -Liza shall cook yer somethin'. She ain't much good at cookin' but you'll -enjoy it whatever it's loike when she's cooked it. Me an' the old man -'ull 'ave a walk round Park afterwards an' yer can 'ave the 'ouse to -yerself with Liza. See what I mean? - -Teddy. I don't know as I can come. - -Polly (_as if deeply disappointed_). Yer a bit slow to my way of -thinkin'. I'm doin' my best fur yer. - -Teddy. Yus. That's just it. - -Polly. Just what? - -Teddy. Yer a fat sight too keen to be rid of the girl if yer want it -straight. - -Polly. Don't say that. I'm only tryin' to 'elp yer. - -Teddy. Yer didn't 'elp blokes wot come after yer other girls only with -yer old man's strap. - -Polly. Oh, but yer a very different sort to them, Mr. Dawson. - -Teddy. That's right enough. (_Door l. opens softly and Liza peeps in. -She leaves door ajar without entering._) - -Polly. Then we'll expect yer o' Sunday? - -Teddy. No. Damned if yer will. Yer shovin' 'er 'at me a sight too last. -I'm thinkin' there's somethin' wrong with 'er or yer'd not be so humble -abart it. Yer bally well beggin' me to 'ave 'er. I'm 'avin' none of yer -bad bargains, with tongues an' tempers an' no good at cookin', thank -yer. Yer can't fool me Mrs. Bettesworth. - -Polly. I'm sorry yer doubts me. Then we mustn't expect yer round never -no more? - -Teddy. No. I've seen through yer this time. - -Polly. It's very 'ard, very 'ard it is. Wot must I tell Liza? - -Teddy. It's nothin' to me wot yer tells 'er. I'm goin' 'ome. (_As he -reaches the centre door, Andrew opens it and enters._) - -Andrew (_drawing hack in amazement_). Well, blime! (_Liza steps into the -room. Teddy looks at the l. door as if to escape that way, but sees her. -Polly moves to Andrew._) - -Polly. Let 'im go, Andrew. 'E ain't worth wastin' leather on 'im. 'E -won't ever come 'ere no more. - -Andrew'. 'E'll get 'isself done in if 'e does. Clear out. (_Teddy loses -no time. Andrew closes door. Liza goes to Polly._) - -Liza. Mother, do yer really want ter get shut of me? - -Polly. Oh, bin listenin' at key-'ole 'ave yer? Well, listeners don't -'ear no good o' themselves. - -Liza. I couldn't go ter bed without knowin'. I'd got ter come dahn ter -find out wot yer an' Teddy was savin'. - -Polly. Yer 'eard 'e'll not come back. - -Liza. Yus. - -Polly. Are yer sorry? - -Liza (_hesitating_). No--no--not if yer don't want ter get rid of me. -Yer don't do yer? Father, mother, yer don't want me ter go! - -Andrew. We don't that. - -Liza. That's wot 'e said. - -Polly. 'E said a lot o' foolish things. No Liza we don't want yer to go. -Yer the light o' our eyes. That chap---- - -Liza (_fiercely_). I 'ate 'im. - -Polly. Ah. See, Liza. (_Takes her to hearth and shows her the motto on a -grocer's calendar over it._) See that? "East, West, home's best." Ain't -that true? Yer stick to yer 'ome a bit longer. Yer can take wings an' -fly from yer nest when time comes. Yer sure yer not sorry 'e's gorn? - -Liza (_crying on Polly's shoulder_). I want ter stay with yer. - -Polly (_caressing her_). That's right, Liza. - -Andrew (_angrily approaching table_). Who's drunk my supper beer? - -Polly. 'Im. - -Andrew. I'll break 'is------- - -Polly. Wasn't it worth it to be rid of 'im? - -Andrew. Yus. Yer bloomin' old schemer. Yus. Yer plan worked it after all. - -Polly. It's bin a cure for love. - - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Scaring Off Of Teddy Dawson, by -Harold Brighouse - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON *** - -***** This file should be named 55292-0.txt or 55292-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/5/2/9/55292/ - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: The Scaring Off Of Teddy Dawson - -Author: Harold Brighouse - -Release Date: August 7, 2017 [EBook #55292] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON *** - - - - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - - - - - -</pre> - - <div style="height: 8em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h1> - THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON - </h1> - <h3> - A Comedy In One Act - </h3> - <h2> - By Harold Brighouse - </h2> - <h4> - London: Samuel French, Ltd - </h4> - <h3> - 1911 - </h3> - <p> - <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a> - </p> - <div class="fig" style="width:50%;"> - <img src="images/0007.jpg" alt="0007 " width="100%" /><br /> - </div> - <h5> - <a href="images/0007.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a> - </h5> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a> - </p> - <div style="height: 4em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - <h2> - THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON - </h2> - <p> - <i>Living room of a small house in an East End sidestreet. Door direct to - street back centre. Next it, window. Door to house l. Kitchen range R. - Dresser with crockery l. Centre is a table. Four deal chairs. At the table - Polly Bettesworth is ironing as the curtain rises. She is no more than - fifty, but a hard life has aged her in appearance beyond her years. A - cheap serge skirt and a dark printed blouse, with elastic-sided boots, - form her visible attire. Her husband (Andrew) throws open the door c. and - enters rapidly from street. He is a navvy, dressed in corduroy, with a - leather belt, and is in his shirt sleeves, having been to the nearest - public for the supper beer, which is in a large jug in his hand He is a - large man, and Polly seems small by con-start. It is evening, but still - light.</i> - </p> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <hr /> - <p> - <br /><br /> - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>angrily</i>). Where's our Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. What do yer want 'er for? - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>closing door</i>). I'm goin' to tan 'er 'ide for 'er. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. What's to do? (<i>Calmly continuing ironing</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>crossing to door l.</i>). I'll put beer in back to keep cool - an' then I'll tell yer. (<i>Opens left door, leaves jug inside and closes - door again.</i>) Now, do yer know wot I've bin 'earing in the <i>Bluebell</i> - abart our Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Tell me. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Liza's started courtin'! That's wot that whistlin's bin as we've - bin 'earing so much lately. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>stopping ironing</i>). Courtin'! At 'er age? - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. It's Gawd's truth. Wait while I catch the bloke wot's after 'er. - I'll skin 'im alive. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>sitting</i>). Liza courtin'! I don't know wot things is comin' - to nowadays. Young girls are gettin' a set of forward hussies that haven't - hardly laid by their skipping-ropes afore they're thinkin' they're ould - enough to get wed. I fancied we'd brought 'er up different to that. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. I'll fancy 'er—'er an' 'er fancy man, an' all. I'll teach - 'im to come round 'ere whistling for our Liza. We ain't partin' with Liza - yet. She's the only 'un left to us now. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yus. T'other girls went off a sight too young. Fust Martha an' then - Sally must be havin' their blokes an' gettin' wed. But I didn't think it - of Liza. She's kept 'er mouth shut. Them quiet 'uns are always deep. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Nature 'ull 'ave its way with 'em so what you do. (<i>Fiercely.</i>) - But I'll spoil this chap's little game. I don't like 'im, not arf like 'im - I don't. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Who is 'e? - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Teddy Dawson's 'is name. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>rising</i>). Teddy Dawson! Wild as they make 'em that chap is. - 'E's after no good with Liza. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. I'll mar 'is good looks if I catch 'im. 'E'll not be so keen on - comin' an' whistlin' at street corner like a canary in a fit. And I'll - give Liza the taste of my strap an' all. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>firmly</i>). Yer'll not touch the girl. Andrew. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Who won't? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I'll give 'er a piece of my mind. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. An' I'll give 'er a piece of my belt. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer won't. Me an' yer didn't arsk our old 'uns for leave to start - courtin'. Liza ull go the way o' all flesh when 'er time comes. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Yus, but 'er time ain't come yet, not by a bloomin' long chalk, - an' I'll make 'er know it. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer leave Liza to me. Yer can do wot yer loike with Teddy Dawson - an' welcome. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. I'll make 'im wish 'e'd never bin born. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I dunno. Yer've tried that road twice—with Martha's man an' - Sally's. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>reminiscently, gloating</i>). I did an' all. They didn't 'ave - much of a larky toime courtin'. I put strap abart both of 'em more than - once. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. An' they only came the more. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Yus. They was spunky fellows. This bloke 'ull not take it that - way. 'E'll cut an' run. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I'm not so sure it's the right road to scare 'em off. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. It's the only road I knows of. Do yer think yer knows a better? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I dunno as I do. Hush! There's Liza comin' downstairs. Now, keep - yer mouth shut till I've had my say. - </p> - <p> - (<i>Enter l. Liza, a girl of sixteen, with black alpaca skirt to her - ankles, gaudy stockings, cheap "flash" shoes, a purple blouse and a hat - with coster feathers.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. My word, Liza, yer do make yerself smart for evenin's. Yer might be - courtin' the way yer've decked yerself. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. There's no 'arm in puttin' on a bit of finery, is there, mother? If - yer've got things, yer might as well show 'em. Don't do 'em no good to lie - by in a drawer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Be careful, girl. Yer'll 'ave some fellow takin' a fancy to yer if - yer go down the Mile End Road in that gear. Foine feathers don't make - foine birds. (<i>Liza tosses her head.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Birds! Yus. Puts me in moind of that crazed canary wot comes rahnd - the 'ouse whistlin' of an evenin'. (<i>A whistle pipes a little tune at - back.</i>) Rot it! There's the darned thing now. (<i>Unbuckling belt.</i>) - I'll make 'im whistle if I catch 'im. (<i>Liza runs to door c. to stop his - way.</i>) Now-then, Liza, out of my way if yer don't want a taste of this - yerself. (<i>Swings strap round.</i>) 'Ere, if yer've nothin' ter do in - the 'ouse get orf to bed. Yer'll not go out this night. (<i>Exit swinging - strap. Liza sits with her handkerchief to her eyes.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>softly</i>). Wot's to do with yer, Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Oh 'e'll 'urt 'im. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. 'Urt who? Is any one there? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I—I don't know. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>roughly</i>). Yus yer do, yer young deceiver. Yer think yer've - got a feller—yer that's just abart goin' into long skirts. I dunno - what the world's comin' to. Young girls is that forward. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>rising</i>). Will father 'urt 'im? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>grimly</i>). Depends which on 'em's the better man. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>tearfully</i>). Oh! - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>kindly</i>). I dunno that 'e'll do 'im much 'urt. 'E only means - to frighten 'im orf comin' rahnd tryin' to court a girl that's too young - to know wot marryin' means. Yer silly girl! Toime 'ul come soon enough. - 'Ere, dry yer eyes an' come to yer mother. When proper time comes, yer'll - not foind us backward at lettin' yer go. It's not come yet by years. Yer - taken by 'is looks an' 'is bold ways. It ain't looks as make a man. This - 'un's one of them sort as bring woe to a girl wot's fool enough to wed - 'em. 'E's your fust, but yer not 'is fust, not by many a one. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>indignantly</i>). 'E says I am. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Hark to that now. Creditin' anything a feller tells yer when 'e's - lurin' yer to 'is arms. (<i>The whistle pipes l. Liza hears it and jerks - up her head. Polly fails to notice it.</i>) Eh, not that I blame yer so - much, yer too young to know different. P'raps yer'd best go to yer bed, as - yer father said, an' ave yer cry out. Yer'll be better in the mornin'. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>with a quick look off l. in the direction of the whistling</i>). - All right, mother. (<i>She reaches the door, losses her head defiantly and - exit l. Polly gets some matches and is about to light the gas when Andrew - opens the door c. and returns buckling on his belt. It is growing - gradually darker. Polly puts the match box down unused.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Well, 'ave yer trounced 'im? - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. No. 'E dodged me some'ow an I 'eard is darned whistle goin' - impudent afterward I reckon 'e wants to get 'er out, but I'll watch 'im at - it. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Liza's gorn to bed to 'ave 'er cry out. She'll get over it by - mornin'. Young 'uns don't take love bad. (<i>Whistle sounds off l.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>moving to door c.</i>). Darn 'im for a piece of brassen - impudence! If I don't break an' spoil 'is whistle for 'im, my name's not - Andrew Bettesworth. I'll raise a lump on 'is thick 'ead big enough for 'im - to 'ang 'is 'at on. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>detaining him with her hand on his arm</i>). I'm not so sure, - Andrew. I've bin thinkin' as that's not right road o' dealin' with 'im. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Right or wrong, 'e'll feel the weight of my belt with my arm - behind it when I catch 'im. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I'll tell yer wot I'm thinkin. Yer leathered the fellers wot came - after Martha an' Sally, but it didn't choke 'em orf. Made 'em all the - keener. Made 'em think the girls was jewels, or yer'd not make so much - fuss abart lettin' go of 'em. Let this feller think the girl's a wrong 'un - an' 'e'll cool orf quick enough. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Well, so they are jewels, an' Liza's the best of the bunch. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yus, o' course she is, but you don't need to let 'im know it. Make - 'im think yer'd be glad to get shut of 'er. Then 'e'll start thinkin' - there's somethin' wrong abart the girl an' lave er' alone. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. (<i>shaking her off</i>). Garn, that's all woman's bunkum. It - takes a man to dal with a job like this 'ere. Wot 'e wants is a thick ear - an' I'll stick it out till I catch 'im an' give it 'im an all. - </p> - <p> - (<i>Unbuckling his belt and going out centre. Polly removes her ironing - from table. Suddenly she assumes a listenin attitude, then tiptoes to the - door L. and opens it quietly. Teddy and Liza are standing just outside it. - He has his arm round her waist. He is a good looking young man, short, - dark, clean-shaven in a shoddy suit with muffler round his neck.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I love yer so I could eat yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer'd 'ave a foine belly ache, an all, if 'er flesh were as sour as - 'er temper. (<i>Teddy stands amazed, then begins to move away.</i>) Yer'd - never run from a woman, would yer? (<i>Teddy stops.</i>) Come in. I'm sure - yer welcome. (<i>Teddy and Liza enter, suspicious and reluctant. Polly - hands a chair out.</i>) Sit yer down. Don't be shy. Yer welcome to come - 'ere if yer'll do yer courtin' proper an' drop yer dancin' abart outside - with that whistle of yours. 'Ticin' Liza out after she's bin sent to bed. - Yer slipped out o' back door I reckon, Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>timidly</i>). Yus, mother. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I thought so. (<i>Cordially.</i>) Well, yer'll 'ave no need to - carry on that road now. We're goin' to 'ave this square an' straight. - Liza, I'm sure Mr. Dawson's ready for a bit of supper. There ain't nothing - like peckin' a bit together when you want to get friendly. (<i>Finishing - the removal of ironing from table.</i>) Now, Liza, get a move on. Where's - that piece of boiled bacon as we found good chewing yesterday? Bustle - round, girl. (<i>Liza takes a cloth from dresser, spreads on table and - lays plates, etc., for two, putting out the bacon, a tin loaf, and butter.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>drawing up a chair to Teddy's confidentially</i>). Yer see, Mr. - Dawson, I'm glad yer come in. I 'aven't arf liked yer plan of workin'. - Comin' 'ere an' whistlin' abart the 'ouse as if yer felt feared o' bein' - seen. (<i>Teddy shifts uncomfortably.</i>) But that's all over now. We're - goin' to 'ave that altered. (<i>Looking round at table.</i>) Where's yer - 'ead, Liza? Do yer think Mr. Dawson can face 'is supper dry? (<i>Rising.</i>) - There's some beer in the back. I'll go an' fetch it. (<i>Looking round as - she reaches the door l.</i>) It's gettin' a bit dark in 'ere, Liza. Things - 'ull look more cheerful with a light on. It'll give yer somethin' ter do - ter keep yer out of mischief while I'm gorn. (<i>Exit Polly l. Liza - immediately lights the gas and puts the blind down. Teddy rises.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Well, blime, Liza this beats everything. Wot made yer tell me - they'd be against it if they knew'? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I don't understand this no more than yer do. They didn't set abort - it this road with my sisters' fellers. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Looks like she's took a fancy to me. Nothin' surprisin' in that - neither. Yer've got a sight better kind of a man than yer sisters ever - 'ad. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. That's right enough, Teddy, but I don't like looks of this. Father - used to leather Sally's bloke. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I'm not afraid of 'im so long as I'm on right side of the missus. I - knaw who wears 'em in this 'ouse, an' it ain't the old man. Yus, Liza, - there ain't nothin' to complain of so far. (<i>Sitting and putting his - thumbs in his waistcoat armholes.</i>) Yer never know yer luck. This 'ere - weren't looked for. I'll not be whistlin' out there for yer termorrer - night. Not arf. I'll walk in at door an' 'ang my 'at up loike as if I - owned the place. (<i>Looking round.</i>) Tidy few bits of sticks yer've - got an all, Liza. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. It ain't so bad. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. No. I say, Liza, if the missus don't like yer sisters' 'usbands - she'll be glad to see yer wed a man she's taken a fancy to. Fond of yer, I - reckon, too, eh, Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Yus. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yus. Too fond to part. See wot I mean? They'll arsk us to live 'ere - arter we're wed. Gettin' on, too, they are. Can't last for ever. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Wot are yer gettin' at? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Nothin' particklar. It just struck me there's a nice pair of shoes - to step into 'ere. This is goin' to be a bit of all right, Liza. I must - keep on the sweet side of yer mother. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>bridling</i>). I dunno what yer've got in yer 'ead, Teddy Dawson. - I don't call to moind 'avin said I'd wed yer. I've not bin arsked that I - know of. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>releasing his thumbs and coming to her</i>). I'm arskn' yer now, - ain't I? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I'm not goin' ter be arsked now. When I'm arsked I'll be arsked - proper, an' it'll not be in between while mother fetches the beer. Yer - makin' a bit too sure an all, so yer can put that in yer pipe an' smoke - 'it. Don't be in too much of a 'urry abart me nor them shoes of my - father's wot yer mentioned either. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>trying to put his arm round her</i>). 'Ere, I say, Liza, yer not - offended are yer? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> Yer'd best be careful of yer tongue. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Well, I'll arsk an' arsk till yer say yer'll 'ave me. I'm deep in - love an' I'll not take no for an answer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>softly</i>). P'raps yer'll not get it neither when yer arsk - proper. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. That's right. Give us a kiss for a night cap, Liza. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>shyly</i>). I don't think I ought. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Why not? Wot's come over yer? Yer've taken many a score out in the - street an' giver, as good as yer took, an all. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I know. I dunno. Seems like street's one thing an' inside's another. - It don't seem same thing with the gas on. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Turn un low if yer feared o' the light. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Mother might catch us. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. That don't signify. She arsked me in an' told me to do my courtin' - proper. I don't call it proper courtin' for yer to go to yer bed without a - kiss on yer lips fur company. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I must get used to it fust. (<i>Teddy is turning gas down.</i>) Yer - leave that gas be. I'll scream out. (<i>Teddy turns gas up.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Look 'ere, Liza, yer darned stand-offish all at once. Yer weren't - above kissin' me in street. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>apologetically</i>). It don't seem same thing in the 'ouse no - 'ow, Teddy. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. We wouldn't live in street if we were wed. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>with conviction</i>). No. That's what keeps striking me. It don't - seem same fun in the 'ouse. (<i>Teddy approaches her again with - resolution.</i>) Here's mother! (<i>Teddy retreats. Enter Polly, with the - beer jug, which she puts on the table.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. 'Ere it is. Why, Liza, where's yer wits bin wool-gatherin'? Yer've - put no glasses out.<i>) (</i>Liza hurriedly puts two glasses from dresser - on table. Garn, yer've no need to colour up like that if yer did forget - 'em. I'm not so old myself I've forgot my courtin' days. There ain't - nothink surprisin' if yer did forget when yer lover's with yer. Well, sit - yer down, Mr. Dawson. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>sitting quite confidently now</i>). Thank yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>drawing up a chair for herself, facing him</i>) Yer'd best go to - bed, Liza; yer've bin sent there twice ternight. Don't stare like that. Me - an' Mr. Dawson's got to get acquaint an' I reckon I'm old enough, to do - without 'avin' yer for a chaperone. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>reluctantly</i>). All right. Good-noight, mother. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>mimicking</i>). Good-noight, mother! Is that all yer've got ter - say? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Yus. As far as I know. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Well, if yer keep yer mouth shut the likes o' that when yer wed, - Teddy 'ull be in clover. Wot? Oh, I see. Took yer charnce with 'im while I - got beer, did yer? Righto. Sling yer 'ook. (<i>Liza goes out l. under - protest.</i>) Now then, Mr. Dawson, we can be comfortable. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. 'Ere, where's Mr. Bettesworth? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>assuming during the ensuing scene an air of rollicking - camaraderie</i>). 'E's all right. Out lookin' for somebody, only 'e ain't - lookin' in right place. Don't yer worry abart 'im. Now, yer'll ave a bit - of bacon? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>reassured again</i>). I don't mind if I do. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>cutting and handing</i>). Righto. Bread's on yer side. (<i>Polly - helps herself to bacon and accepts a slice of bread from Teddy. They eat - without forks, using bread instead and show no objection to putting knives - in their mouths.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>sarcastically</i>). I didn't know yer was teetotal. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I ain't. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Well, beer was brewed for drinkin', (<i>Teddy pours himself a glass - and drinks modestly.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>replacing glass</i>). Ah! - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Sup it up. I like a man that can take 'is liquor. Yer drink as if - it feared yer. (<i>Teddy empties his glass.</i>) That's better. (<i>She - passes her glass, he fills it and his own.</i>) Now, Mr. Dawson, don't - stint yerself. There ain't nothink like courtin' fur givin' an appetite. - Yer ain't got much to say for yerself. I dunno. Young men don't seem so - brisk at their courtin' as they was when I were a girl. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>nettled</i>). I don't think I'm pertiklar slow. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Well, I'll give yer an instance. That gas. It were lighted the - moment I left room. I saw gleam of it under door. My old man 'ud never - 'ave lit it like that when 'im and me courted. I give yer a fair chance, - an all. Yer don't fancy I allays take that long to pick up a jug o' beer, - do yer? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yus, well that 'ud go down all right with some girls, but it ain't - right way with Liza. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Oh, yer know yer own business best, of course, but yer'll not be - above takin' a 'in! from an old woman that was courted afore yer was born. - Yer must make use o' yer charnces. Girls don't like a slow lover. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I'm not so shy, neither. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer not eatin' much. A feller wants a bit o' somethin' as ull stick - to 'is ribs when 'e's bin courtin'. Don't forget yer beer. Ain't there no - more in jug? (<i>Teddy drinks up and refills.</i>) Yer'll not get boozed - on a drop like that, and who's to care if yer do? Yer at 'ome 'ere. Drink - up and 'ave another. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>pushing plate and glass from him</i>). I've 'ad enough. (<i>He - rises.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I'll 'ave somethin' tastier in against yer come termorrer night. I - suppose yer'll be 'ere (<i>Polly rises.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>sulkily</i>). I told Liza I would, but I'm not so sure if I can. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Please yerself. Only yer'll keep 'er warm now yer've got so far if - yer'll take my tip. Don't let a girl fancy yer coolin' orf. Now, - understand, yer welcome 'ere so long as yer break yerself of that - whistlin' 'abit. We'll expect yer termorrer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I dunno as I'll be comin'. My mind's not made up yet. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer mighty slow abart it. Wot's to do wi' yer? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Nothing. (<i>Polly puts her hand on his arm in a friendly way.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Because yer've no need to feel awkward T' whole thing 'ull be - straight forward now. Yer've only to go in and win. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yer a bit anxious abart it. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. No, Mr. Dawson, no. Not anxious. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>dogmatically</i>). Yer a sight too keen set on my winnin' for my - taste. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>secretly rejoicing</i>). Yus. Well, I've took a fancy to yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>slyly</i>). Sudden like. 'Ere, I've bin thinkin' now, yer said - somethin' a while back abart Liza's bein' a 'ot tempered 'un. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>as if much taken aback</i>). No. Did I? 'Ot tempered did I say? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yus. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Well, I can't deny she's a 'igh-spirited girl. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. 'Igh-spirited, eh? Liza didn't never 'ave much ter say for 'erself - out in street. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>winking elaborately at him</i>). That's 'er artfulness. Trust a - girl to be careful when she's got 'er eye on a man. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b> (<i>moving towards door</i>). I think I'll go 'ome. Yer've give me a - lot to think abart. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I tell you wot, Mr. Dawson, yer slip in fur yer dinner on Sunday. - Liza shall cook yer somethin'. She ain't much good at cookin' but you'll - enjoy it whatever it's loike when she's cooked it. Me an' the old man 'ull - 'ave a walk round Park afterwards an' yer can 'ave the 'ouse to yerself - with Liza. See what I mean? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. I don't know as I can come. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>as if deeply disappointed</i>). Yer a bit slow to my way of - thinkin'. I'm doin' my best fur yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yus. That's just it. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Just what? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yer a fat sight too keen to be rid of the girl if yer want it - straight. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Don't say that. I'm only tryin' to 'elp yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. Yer didn't 'elp blokes wot come after yer other girls only with yer - old man's strap. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Oh, but yer a very different sort to them, Mr. Dawson. - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. That's right enough. (<i>Door l. opens softly and Liza peeps in. - She leaves door ajar without entering.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Then we'll expect yer o' Sunday? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. No. Damned if yer will. Yer shovin' 'er 'at me a sight too last. - I'm thinkin' there's somethin' wrong with 'er or yer'd not be so humble - abart it. Yer bally well beggin' me to 'ave 'er. I'm 'avin' none of yer - bad bargains, with tongues an' tempers an' no good at cookin', thank yer. - Yer can't fool me Mrs. Bettesworth. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. I'm sorry yer doubts me. Then we mustn't expect yer round never no - more? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. No. I've seen through yer this time. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. It's very 'ard, very 'ard it is. Wot must I tell Liza? - </p> - <p> - <b>Teddy</b>. It's nothin' to me wot yer tells 'er. I'm goin' 'ome. (<i>As he - reaches the centre door, Andrew opens it and enters.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>drawing hack in amazement</i>). Well, blime! (<i>Liza steps - into the room. Teddy looks at the l. door as if to escape that way, but - sees her. Polly moves to Andrew.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Let 'im go, Andrew. 'E ain't worth wastin' leather on 'im. 'E won't - ever come 'ere no more. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>'. 'E'll get 'isself done in if 'e does. Clear out. (<i>Teddy loses - no time. Andrew closes door. Liza goes to Polly.</i>) - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Mother, do yer really want ter get shut of me? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Oh, bin listenin' at key-'ole 'ave yer? Well, listeners don't 'ear - no good o' themselves. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. I couldn't go ter bed without knowin'. I'd got ter come dahn ter - find out wot yer an' Teddy was savin'. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Yer 'eard 'e'll not come back. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. Yus. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Are yer sorry? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>hesitating</i>). No—no—not if yer don't want ter get - rid of me. Yer don't do yer? Father, mother, yer don't want me ter go! - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. We don't that. - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b>. That's wot 'e said. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. 'E said a lot o' foolish things. No Liza we don't want yer to go. - Yer the light o' our eyes. That chap—— - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>fiercely</i>). I 'ate 'im. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Ah. See, Liza. (<i>Takes her to hearth and shows her the motto on a - grocer's calendar over it.</i>) See that? "East, West, home's best." Ain't - that true? Yer stick to yer 'ome a bit longer. Yer can take wings an' fly - from yer nest when time comes. Yer sure yer not sorry 'e's gorn? - </p> - <p> - <b>Liza</b> (<i>crying on Polly's shoulder</i>). I want ter stay with yer. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b> (<i>caressing her</i>). That's right, Liza. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b> (<i>angrily approaching table</i>). Who's drunk my supper beer? - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. 'Im. - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. I'll break 'is———- - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. Wasn't it worth it to be rid of 'im? - </p> - <p> - <b>Andrew</b>. Yus. Yer bloomin' old schemer. Yus. Yer plan worked it after all. - </p> - <p> - <b>Polly</b>. It's bin a cure for love. - </p> - <div style="height: 6em;"> - <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> - </div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Scaring Off Of Teddy Dawson, by -Harold Brighouse - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON *** - -***** This file should be named 55292-h.htm or 55292-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/5/2/9/55292/ - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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