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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5521.txt b/5521.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..590826e --- /dev/null +++ b/5521.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2155 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook The Bride of the Nile, by Georg Ebers, v5 +#82 in our series by Georg Ebers + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Bride of the Nile, Volume 5. + +Author: Georg Ebers + +Release Date: April, 2004 [EBook #5521] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on July 4, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRIDE OF THE NILE, BY EBERS, V5 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE BRIDE OF THE NILE + +By Georg Ebers + +Volume 5. + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +During all these hours Orion had been in the solitude of his own rooms. +Next to them was little Mary's sleeping-room; he had not seen the child +again since leaving his father's death-bed. He knew that she was lying +there in a very feverish state, but he could not so far command himself +as to enquire for her. When, now and again, he could not help thinking +of her, he involuntarily clenched his fists. His soul was shaken to the +foundations; desperate, beside himself, incapable of any thought but that +he was the most miserable man on earth--that his father's curse had +blighted him--that nothing could undo what had happened--that some cruel +and inexorable power had turned his truest friend into a foe and had +sundered them so completely that there was no possibility of atonement or +of moving him to a word of pardon or a kindly glance--he paced the long +room from end to end, flinging himself on his knees at intervals before +the divan, and burying his burning face in the soft pillows. From time +to time he could pray, but each time he broke off; for what Power in +Heaven or on earth could unseal those closed eyes and stir that heart to +beat again, that tongue to speak--could vouchsafe to him, the outcast, +the one thing for which his soul thirsted and without which he thought he +must die: Pardon, pardon, his father's pardon! Now and then he struck +his forehead and heart like a man demented, with cries of anguish, curses +and lamentations. + +About midnight--it was but just twelve hours since that fearful scene, +and to him it seemed like as many days--he threw himself on the couch, +dressed as he was in the dark mourning garments, which he had half torn +off in his rage and despair, and broke out into such loud groans that he +himself was almost frightened in the silence of the night. Full of self- +pity and horror at his own deep grief, he turned his face to the wall to +screen his eyes from the clear, full moon, which only showed him things +he did not want to see, while it hurt him. + +His torture was beginning to be quite unbearable; he fancied his soul was +actually wounded, riven, and torn; it had even occurred to him to seize +his sharpest sword and throw himself upon it like Ajax in his fury--and +like Cato--and so put a sudden end to this intolerable and overwhelming +misery. + +He started up for--surely it was no illusion, no mistake-the door of his +room was softly opened and a white figure came in with noiseless, ghostly +steps. He was a brave man, but his blood ran cold; however, in a moment +he recognized his nocturnal visitor as little Mary. She came across the +moonlight without speaking, but he exclaimed in a sharp tone: + +"What is the meaning of this? What do you want?" + +The child started and stood still in alarm, stretching out imploring +hands and whispering timidly: + +"I heard you lamenting. Poor, poor Orion! And it was I who brought it +all on you, and so I could not stay in bed any longer--I must--I could +not help...." But she could say no more for sobs. Orion exclaimed: + +"Very well, very well: go back to your own room and sleep. I will try +not to groan so loud." + +He ended his speech in a less rough tone, for he observed that the child +had come to see him, though she was ill, with bare feet and only in her +night-shift, and was trembling with cold, excitement, and grief. Mary, +however, stood still, shook her head, and replied, still weeping though +less violently: + +"No, no. I shall stop here and not go away till you tell me that you-- +Oh, God, you never can forgive me, but still I must say it, I must." + +With a sudden impulse she ran straight up to him, threw her arms round +his neck, laid her head against his, and then, as he did not immediately +push her away, kissed his cheeks and brow. + +At this a strange feeling came over him; he himself did not know what it +was, but it was as though something within him yielded and gave way, and +the moisture which felt warm in his eyes and on his cheeks was not from +the child's tears but his own. This lasted through many minutes of +silence; but at last he took the little one's arms from about his neck, +saying: + +"How hot your hands and your cheeks are, poor thing! You are feverish, +and the night air blows in chill--you will catch fresh cold by this mad +behavior." + +He had controlled his tears with difficulty, and as he spoke, in broken +accents, he carefully wrapped her in the black robe he had thrown off and +said kindly: + +"Now, be calm, and I will try to compose myself. You did not mean any +harm, and I owe you no grudge. Now go; you will not feel the draught in +the anteroom with that wrap on. Go; be quick." + +"No, no," she eagerly replied. "You must let me say what I have to say +or I cannot sleep. You see I never thought of hurting you so dreadfully, +so horribly--never, never! I was angry with you, to be sure, because-- +but when I spoke I really and truly did not think of you, but only of +poor Paula. You do not know how good she is, and grandfather was so fond +of her before you came home; and he was lying there and going to die so +soon, and I knew that he believed Paula to be a thief and a liar, and it +seemed to me so horrible, so unbearable to see him close his eyes with +such a mistake in his mind, such an injustice!--Not for his sake, oh no! +but for Paula's; so then I--Oh Orion! the Merciful Saviour is my +witness, I could not help it; if I had had to die for it I could not have +helped it! I should have died, if I had not spoken!" + +"And perhaps it was well that you spoke," interrupted the young man, with +a deep sigh. "You see, child, your lost father's miserable brother is a +ruined man and it matters little about him; but Paula, who is a thousand +times better than I am, has at least had justice done her; and as I love +her far more dearly than your little heart can conceive of, I will gladly +be friends with you again: nay, I shall be more fond of you than ever. +That is nothing great or noble, for I need love--much love to make life +tolerable. The best love a man may have I have forfeited, fool that I +am! and now dear, good little soul, I could not bear to lose yours! So +there is my hand upon it; now, give me another kiss and then go to bed +and sleep." + +But still Mary would not do his bidding, but only thanked him vehemently +and then asked with sparkling eyes: + +"Really, truly? Do you love Paula so dearly?" At this point however she +suddenly checked herself. "And little Katharina. . ." + +"Never mind about that," he replied with a sigh. "And learn a lesson +from all this. I, you see, in an hour of recklessness did a wrong thing; +to hide it I had to do further wrong, till it grew to a mountain which +fell on me and crushed me. Now, I am the most miserable of men and I +might perhaps have been the happiest. I have spoilt my own life by my +own folly, weakness, and guilt; and I have lost Paula, who is dearer to +me than all the other creatures on earth put together. Yes, Mary, if she +had been mine, your poor uncle would have been the most enviable fellow +in the world, and he might have been a fine fellow, too, a man of great +achievements. But as it is!--Well, what is done cannot be undone! Now +go to bed child; you cannot understand it all till you are older." + +"Oh I understand it already and much better perhaps than you suppose," +cried the ten years' old child. "And if you love Paula so much why +should not she love you? You are so handsome, you can do so many things, +every one likes you, and Paula would have loved you, too, if only ... +Will you promise not to be angry with me, and may I say it?" + +"Speak out, little simpleton." + +"She cannot owe you any grudge when she knows how dreadfully you are +suffering on her account and that you are good at heart, and only that +once ever did--you know what. Before you came home, grandfather said a +hundred times over what a joy you had been to him all your life through, +and now, now... Well, you are my uncle, and I am only a stupid little +girl; still, I know that it will be just the same with you as it was with +the prodigal son in the Bible. You and grandfather parted in anger...." + +"He cursed me," Orion put in gloomily. + +"No, no! For I heard every word he said. He only spoke of your evil +deed in those dreadful words and bid you go out of his sight." + +"And what is the difference--Cursed or outcast?" + +"Oh! a very great difference! He had good reason to be angry with you; +but the prodigal son in the Bible became his father's best beloved, and +he had the fatted calf slain for him and forgave him all; and so will +grandfather in heaven forgive, if you are good again, as you used to be +to him and to all of us. Paula will forgive you, too; I know her--you +will see. Katharina loved you of course; but she, dear Heaven! She is +almost as much a child as I am; and if only you are kind to her and make +her some pretty present she will soon be comforted. She really deserves +to be punished for bearing false witness, and her punishment cannot, at +any rate, be so heavy as yours." + +These words from the lips of an innocent child could not but fall like +seed corn on the harrowed field of the young man's tortured soul and +refresh it as with morning dew. Long after Mary had gone to rest he lay +thinking them over. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +The funeral rites over the body of the deceased Mukaukas were performed +on the day after the morrow. Since the priesthood had forbidden the old +heathen practice of mummifying the dead, and even cremation had been +forbidden by the Antonines, the dead had to be interred soon after +decease; only those of high rank were hastily embalmed and lay in state +in some church or chapel to which they had contributed an endowment. +Mukaukas George was, by his own desire, to be conveyed to Alexandria and +there buried in the church of St. John by his father's side; but the +carrier pigeon, by which the news of the governor's death had been sent +to the Patriarch, had returned with instructions to deposit the body in +the family tomb at Memphis, as there were difficulties in the way of the +fulfillment of his wishes. + +Such a funeral procession had not been seen there within the memory of +man. Even the Moslem viceroy, the great general Amru, came over from the +other side of the Nile, with his chief military and civil officers, to +pay the last honors to the just and revered governor. Their brown, +sinewy figures, and handsome calm faces, their golden helmets and shirts +of mail, set with precious stones--trophies of the war of destruction in +Persia and Syria--their magnificent horses with splendid trappings, and +the authoritative dignity of their bearing made a great impression on the +crowd. They arrived with slow and impressive solemnity; they returned +like a cloud driven before the storm, galloping homewards from the +burial-ground along the quay, and then thundering and clattering over the +bridge of boats. Vivid and dazzling lightnings had flashed through the +wreaths of white dust that shrouded them, as their gold armor reflected +the sun. Verily, these horsemen, each of them worthy to be a prince in +his pride, could find it no very hard task to subdue the mightiest realms +on earth. + +Men and women alike had gazed at them with trembling admiration: most of +all at the heroic stature and noble dusky face of Amru, and at the son of +the deceased Mukaukas, who, by the Moslem's desire, rode at his side in +mourning garb on a fiery black horse. + +The handsome youth, and the lordly, powerful man were a pair from whom +the women were loth to turn their eyes; for both alike were of noble +demeanor, both of splendid stature, both equally skilled in controlling +the impatience of their steeds, both born to command. Many a Memphite +was more deeply impressed by the head of the famous warrior, erect on a +long and massive throat, with its sharply-chiselled aquiline nose and +flashing black eyes, than by the more regular features and fine, +slightly-waving locks of the governor's son--the last representative of +the oldest and proudest race in all Egypt. + +The Arab looked straight before him with a steady, commanding gaze; the +youth, too, looked up and forwards, but turned from time to time to +survey the crowd of mourners. As he caught sight of Paula, among the +group of women who had joined the procession, a gleam of joy passed over +his pale face, and a faint flush tinged his cheeks; his fixed outlook had +knit his brows and had given his features an expression of such ominous +sternness that one and another of the bystanders whispered: + +"Our gay and affable young lord will make a severe ruler." + +The cause of his indignation had not escaped the notice either of his +noble companion or of the crowd. He alone knew as yet that the Patriarch +had prohibited the removal of his father's remains to Alexandria; but +every one could see that the larger portion of the priesthood of Memphis +were absent from this unprecedented following. The Bishop alone marched +in front of the six horses drawing the catafalque on which the costly +sarcophagus was conveyed to the burying-place, in accordance with ancient +custom:--Bishop Plotinus, with John, a learned and courageous priest, and +a few choristers bearing a crucifix and chanting psalms. + +On arriving at the Necropolis they all dismounted, and the barefooted +runners in attendance on the Arabs came forward to hold the horses. By +the tomb the Bishop pronounced a few warm words of eulogy, after which +the thin chant of the choristers sounded trivial and meagre enough; but +scarcely had they ceased when the crowd uplifted its many thousand +voices, and a hymn of mourning rang out so loud and grand that this +burial ground had scarcely ever heard the like. The remaining ceremonies +were hasty and incomplete, since the priests who were indispensable to +their performance had not made their appearance. + +Amru, whose falcon eye nothing could escape, at once noted the omission +and exclaimed, in so loud and inconsiderate a voice that it could be +heard even at some distance. + +"The dead is made to atone for what the living, in his wisdom, did for +his country's good, hand-in-hand with us Moslems." + +"By the Patriarch's orders," replied Orion, and his voice quavered, +while the veins in his forehead swelled with rage. "But I swear, by my +father's soul, that as surely as there is a just God, it shall be an evil +day for Benjamin when he closes the gate of Heaven against this noblest +of noble souls." + +"We carry the key of ours under our own belt," replied the general, +striking his deep chest, while he smiled consciously and with a kindly +eye on the young man. "Come and see me on Saturday, my young friend; I +have something to say to you! I shall expect you at sundown at my house +over there. If I am not at home by dusk, you must wait for me." + +As he spoke he twisted his hand in his horse's mane and Orion prepared to +assist him to mount; but the Arab, though a man of fifty, was too quick +for him. He flung himself into the saddle as lightly as a youth, and +gave his followers the signal for departure. + +Paula had been standing close to the entrance of the tomb with Dame +Neforis, and she had heard every word of the dialogue between the two +men. Pale, as she beheld him, in costly but simple, flowing, mourning +robes, stricken by solemn and manly indignation, it was impossible that +she should not confess that the events of the last days had had a +powerful effect on the misguided youth. + +When Paula had led the grief-worn but tearless widow to her chariot, and +had then returned home with Perpetua, the image of the handsome and +wrathful youth as he lifted his powerful arm and tightly-clenched fist +and shook them in the air, still constantly haunted her. She had not +failed to observe that he had seen her standing opposite to him by the +open tomb and she had been able to avoid meeting his eye; but her heart +had throbbed so violently that she still felt it quivering, she had not +succeeded in thinking of the beloved dead with due devotion. + +Orion, as yet, had neither come near her in her peaceful retreat, nor +sent any messenger to deliver her belongings, and this she thought very +natural; for she needed no one to tell her how many claims there must be +on his time. + +But though, before the funeral, she had firmly resolved to refuse to see +him if he came, and had given her nurse fall powers to receive from his +hand the whole of her property, after the ceremony this line of conduct +no longer struck her as seemly; indeed, she considered it no more than +her duty to the departed not to repel Orion if he should crave her +forgiveness. + +And there was another thing which she owed to her uncle. She desired to +be the first to point out to Orion, from Philip's point of view, that +life was a post, a duty; and then, if his heart seemed opened to this +admonition, then--but no, this must be all that could pass between them +--then all must be at an end, extinct, dead, like the fires in a sunken +raft, like a soap-bubble that the wind has burst, like an echo that has +died away--all over and utterly gone. + +And as to the counsel she thought of offering to the man she had once +looked up to? What right had she to give it? Did he not look like a man +quite capable of planning and living his own life in his own strength? +Her heart thirsted for him, every fibre of her being yearned to see him +again, to hear his voice, and it was this longing, this craving to which +she gave the name of duty, connecting it with the gratitude she owed to +the dead. + +She was so much absorbed in these reflections and doubts that she +scarcely heard all the garrulous old nurse was saying as she walked by +her side. + +Perpetua could not be easy over such a funeral ceremony as this; so +different to anything that Memphis had been wont to see. No priests, a +procession on horseback, mourners riding, and among them the son even of +the dead--while of old the survivors had always followed the body on +foot, as was everywhere the custom! And then a mere chirping of crickets +at the tomb of such illustrious dead, followed by the disorderly +squalling of an immense mob--it had nearly cracked her ears! However, +the citizens might be forgiven for that, since it was all in honor of +their departed governor!--this thought touched even her resolute heart +and brought the tears to her eyes; but it roused her wrath, too, for had +she not seen quite humble folk buried in a more solemn manner and with +worthier ceremonial than the great and good Mukaukas George, who had made +such a magnificent gift to the Church. Oh those Jacobites! They only +were capable of such ingratitude, only their heretical prelate could +commit such a crime. Every one in the Convent of St. Cecilia, from the +abbess down to the youngest novice, knew that the Patriarch had sent word +by a carrier pigeon forbidding the Bishop to allow the priests to take +part in the ceremony. Plotinus was a worthy man, and he had been highly +indignant at these instructions; it was not in his power to contravene +them; but at any rate he had led the procession in person, and had not +forbidden John's accompanying him. Orion, however, had not looked as +though he meant to brook such an insult to his father or let it pass +unpunished. And whose arm was long enough to reach the Patriarch's +throne if not.... But no, it was impossible! the mere thought of such a +thing made her blood run cold. Still, still... And how graciously the +Moslem leader had talked with him!--Merciful Heaven! If he were to turn +apostate from the holy Christian faith, like so many reprobate Egyptians, +and subscribe to the wicked doctrines of the Arabian false prophet! +It was a tempting creed for shameless men, allowing them to have half +a dozen wives or more without regarding it as a sin. A man like Orion +could afford to keep them, of course; for the abbess had said that every +one knew that the great Mukaukas was a very rich man, though even the +chief magistrate of the city could not fully satisfy himself concerning +the enormous amount of property left. Well, well; God's ways were past +finding out. Why should He smother one under heaps of gold, while He +gave thousands of poor creatures too little to satisfy their hunger! + +By the end of this torrent of words the two women had reached the house; +and not till then was Paula clear in her own mind: Away, away with the +passion which still strove for the mastery, whether it were in deed +hatred or love! For she felt that she could not rightly enjoy her +recovered freedom, her new and quiet happiness in the pretty home she +owed to the physician's thoughtful care, till she had finally given up +Orion and broken the last tie that had bound her to his house. + +Could she desire anything more than what the present had to offer her? +She had found a true haven of rest where she lacked for nothing that she +could desire for herself after listening to the admonitions of Philip +pus. Round her were good souls who felt with and for her, many +occupations for which she was well-fitted, and which suited her tastes, +with ample opportunities of bestowing and winning love. Then, a few +steps through pleasant shades took her to the convent where she could +every day attend divine service among pious companions of her own creed, +as she had done in her childhood. She had longed intensely for such food +for the spirit, and the abbess--who was the widow of a distinguished +patrician of Constantinople and had known Paula's parents--could supply +it in abundance. How gladly she talked to the girl of the goodness and +the beauty of those to whom she owed her being and whom she had so early +lost! She could pour out to this motherly soul all that weighed on her +own, and was received by her as a beloved daughter of her old age. + +And her hosts--what kind-hearted though singular folks! nay, in their +way, remarkable. She had never dreamed that there could be on earth any +beings at once so odd and so lovable. + +First there was old Rufinus, the head of the house, a vigorous, hale old +man, who, with his long silky, snow-white hair and beard, looked +something like the aged St. John and something like a warrior grown grey +in service. What an amiable spirit of childlike meekness he had, in +spite of the rough ways he sometimes fell into. Though inclined to be +contradictory in his intercourse with his fellow-men, he was merry and +jocose when his views were opposed to theirs. She had never met a more +contented soul or a franker disposition, and she could well understand +how much it must fret and gall such a man to live on,--day after day, +appearing, in one respect at any rate, different from what he really was. +For he, too, belonged to her confession; but, though he sent his wife and +daughter to worship in the convent chapel, he himself was compelled to +profess himself a Coptic Christian, and submit to the necessity of +attending a Jacobite church with all his family on certain holy days, +averse as he was to its unattractive form of worship. + +Rufinus possessed a sufficient fortune to secure him a comfortable +maintenance; and yet he was hard at work, in his own way, from morning +till night. Not that his labors brought him any revenues; on the +contrary, they led to claims on his resources; every one knew that he was +a man of good means, and this would have certainly involved him in +persecution if the Patriarch's spies had discovered him to be a Melchite, +resulting in exile and probably the confiscation of his goods. Hence it +was necessary to exercise caution, and if the old man could have found a +purchaser for his house and garden, in a city where there were ten times +as many houses empty as occupied, he would long since have set out with +all his household to seek a new home. + +Most aged people of vehement spirit and not too keen intellect, adopt a +saying as a stop-gap or resting-place, and he was fond of using two +phrases one of which ran: "As sure as man is the standard of all things" +and the other--referring to his house--"As sure as I long to be quit of +this lumber." But the lumber consisted of a well-built and very spacious +dwellinghouse, with a garden which had commanded a high price in earlier +times on account of its situation near the river. He himself had +acquired it at very small cost shortly before the Arab incursion, +and--so quickly do times change--he had actually bought it from a +Jacobite Christian who had been forced by the Melchite Patriarch Cyrus, +then in power, to fly in haste because he had found means to convert his +orthodox slaves to his confession. + +It was Philippus who had persuaded his accomplished and experienced +friend to come to Memphis; he had clung to him faithfully, and they +assisted each other in their works. + +Rufinus' wife, a frail, ailing little woman, with a small face and +rather hollow cheeks, who must once have been very attractive and +engaging, might have passed for his daughter; she was, in fact, twenty +years younger than her husband. It was evident that she had suffered +much in the course of her life, but had taken it patiently and all for +the best. Her restless husband had caused her the greatest trouble and +alarms, and yet she exerted herself to the utmost to make his life +pleasant. She had the art of keeping every obstacle and discomfort out +of his way, and guessed with wonderful instinct what would help him, +comfort him, and bring him joy. The physician declared that her stooping +attitude, her bent head, and the enquiring expression of her bright, +black eyes were the result of her constant efforts to discover even a +straw that might bring harm to Rufinus if his callous and restless foot +should tread on it. + +Their daughter Pulcheria, was commonly called "Pul" for short, to save +time, excepting when the old man spoke of her by preference as "the poor +child." There was at all times something compassionate in his attitude +towards his daughter; for he rarely looked at her without asking himself +what could become of this beloved child when he, who was so much older, +should have closed his eyes in death and his Joanna perhaps should soon +have followed him; while Pulcheria, seeing her mother take such care of +her father that nothing was left for her to do, regarded herself as the +most superfluous creature on earth and would have been ready at any time +to lay down her life for her parents, for the abbess, for her faith, for +the leech; nay, and though she had known her for no more than two days, +even for Paula. However, she was a very pretty, well-grown girl, with +great open blue eyes and a dreamy expression, and magnificent red-gold +hair which could hardly be matched in all Egypt. Her father had long +known of her desire to enter the convent as a novice and become a nursing +sister; but though he had devoted his whole life to a similar impulse, +he had more than once positively refused to accede to her wishes, for he +must ere long be gathered to his fathers and then her mother, while she +survived him, would want some one else to wear herself out for. + +Just now "Pul" was longing less than usual to take the veil; for she had +found in Paula a being before whom she felt small indeed, and to whom her +unenvious soul, yearning and striving for the highest, could look up in +satisfied and rapturous admiration. In addition to this, there were +under her own roof two sufferers needing her care: Rustem, the wounded +Masdakite, and the Persian girl. Neforis, who since the fearful hour of +her husband's death had seemed stunned and indifferent to all the claims +of daily life, living only in her memories of the departed, had been more +than willing to leave to the physician the disposal of these two and +their removal from her house. + +In the evening after Paula's arrival Philippus had consulted with his +friends as to the reception of these new guests, and the old man had +interrupted him, as soon as he raised the question of pecuniary +indemnification, exclaiming: + +"They are all very welcome. If they have wounds, we will make them heal; +if their heads are turned, we will screw them the right way round; if +their souls are dark, we will light up a flame in them. If the fair +Paula takes a fancy to us, she and her old woman may stay as long as it +suits her and us. We made her welcome with all our hearts; but, on the +other hand, you must understand that we must be free to bid her farewell +--as free as she is to depart. It is impossible ever to know exactly how +such grand folks will get on with humble ones, and as sure as I long to +be quit of this piece of lumber I might one day take it into my head to +leave it to the owls and jackals and fare forth, staff in hand.--You know +me. As to indemnification--we understand each other. A full purse hangs +behind the sick, and the sound one has ten times more than she needs, so +they may pay. You must decide how much; only--for the women's sake, and +I mean it seriously--be liberal. You know what I need Mammon for; and it +would be well for Joanna if she had less need to turn over every silver +piece before she spends it in the housekeeping. Besides, the lady +herself will be more comfortable if she contributes to pay for the food +and drink. It would ill beseem the daughter of Thomas to be down every +evening under the roof of such birds of passage as we are with thanks for +favors received. When each one pays his share we stand on a footing of +give and take; and if either one feels any particular affection to +another it is not strangled by 'thanks' or 'take it;' it is love for +love's sake and a joy to both parties." + +"Amen," said the leech; and Paula had been quite satisfied by her +friend's arrangements. + +By the next day she felt herself one of the household, though she every +hour found something that could not fail to strike her as strange. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +When Paula had eaten with Rufinus and his family after the funeral +ceremonies, she went into the garden with Pul and the old man--it had +been impossible to induce Perpetua to sit at the same table with her +mistress. The sun was now low, and its level beams gave added lustre to +the colors of the flowers and to the sheen of the thick, metallic foliage +of the south, which the drought and scorching heat had still spared. +A bright-hued humped ox and an ass were turning the wheel which raised +cooling waters from the Nile and poured them into a large tank from which +they flowed through narrow rivulets to irrigate the beds. This toil was +now very laborious, for the river had fallen to so low a level as to give +cause for anxiety, even at this season of extreme ebb. Numbers of birds +with ruffled feathers, with little splints on their legs, or with sadly +drooping heads, were going to roost in small cages hung from the branches +to protect them from cats and other beasts of prey; to each, as he went +by, Rufinus spoke a kindly word, or chirruped to encourage and cheer it. +Aromatic odors filled the garden, and rural silence; every object shone +in golden glory, even the black back of the negro working at the water- +wheel, and the white and yellow skin of the ox; while the clear voices of +the choir of nuns thrilled through the convent-grove. Pul listened, +turning her face to meet it, and crossing her arms over her heart. Her +father pointed to her as he said to Paula: + +"That is where her heart is. May she ever have her God before her eyes! +That cannot but be the best thing for a woman. Still, among such as we +are, we must hold to the rule: Every man for his fellowman on earth, in +the name of the merciful Lord!--Can our wise and reasonable Father in +Heaven desire that brother should neglect brother, or--as in our case--a +child forsake its parents?" + +"Certainly not," replied Paula. "For my own part, nothing keeps me from +taking the veil but my hope of finding my long-lost father; I, like your +Pulcheria, have often longed for the peace of the cloister. How piously +rapt your daughter stands there! What a sweet and touching sight!--In my +heart all was dark and desolate; but here, among you all, it is already +beginning to feel lighter, and here, if anywhere, I shall recover what I +lost in my other home.--Happy child! Could you not fancy, as she stands +there in the evening light, that the pure devotion which fills her soul, +radiated from her? If I were not afraid of disturbing her, and if I were +worthy, how gladly would I join my prayers to hers!" + +"You have a part in them as it is," replied the old man with a smile. +"At this moment St. Cecilia appears to her under the guise of your +features. We will ask her--you will see." + +"No, leave her alone!" entreated Paula with a blush, and she led Rufinus +away to the other end of the garden. + +They soon reached a spot where a high hedge of thorny shrubs parted the +old man's plot from that of Susannah. Rufinus here pricked up his ears +and then angrily exclaimed: + +"As sure as I long to be quit of this lumber, they are cutting my hedge +again! Only last evening I caught one of the slaves just as he was going +to work on the branches; but how could I get at the black rascal through +the thorns? It was to make a peep-hole for curious eyes, or for spies, +for the Patriarch knows how to make use of a petticoat; but I will be +even with them! Do you go on, pray, as if you had seen and heard +nothing; I will fetch my whip." + +The old man hurried away, and Paula was about to obey him; but scarcely +had he disappeared when she heard herself called in a shrill girl's voice +through a gap in the hedge, and looking round, she spied a pretty face +between the boughs which had yesterday been forced asunder by a man's +hands--like a picture wreathed with greenery. + +Even in the twilight she recognized it at once, and when Katharina put +her curly head forward, and said in a beseeching tone: "May I get +through, and will you listen to me?" she gladly signified her consent. + +The water-wagtail, heedless of Paula's hand held out to help her, slipped +through the gap so nimbly that it was evident that she had not long +ceased surmounting such obstacles in her games with Mary. As swift as +the wind she came down on her feet, holding out her arms to rush at +Paula; but she suddenly let them fall in visible hesitancy, and drew back +a step. Paula, however, saw her embarrassment; she drew the girl to her, +kissed her forehead, and gaily exclaimed: + +"Trespassing! And why could you not come in by the gate? Here comes my +host with his hippopotamus thong.--Stop, stop, good Rufinus, for the +breach effected in your flowery wall was intended against me and not +against you. There stands the hostile power, and I should be greatly +surprised if you did not recognize her as a neighbor?" + +"Recognize her?" said the old man, whose wrath was quickly appeased. +"Do we know each other, fair damsel--yes or no? It is an open question." + +"Of course!" cried Katharina, "I have seen you a hundred times from the +gnat-tower." + +"You have had less pleasure than I should have had, if I had been so +happy as to see you.--We came across each other about a year ago. I was +then so happy as to find you in my large peach-tree, which to this day +takes the liberty of growing over your garden-plot." + +"I was but a child then," laughed Katharina, who very well remembered how +the old man, whose handsome white head she had always particularly +admired, had spied her out among the boughs of his peach-tree and had +advised her, with a good-natured nod, to enjoy herself there. + +"A child!" repeated Rufinus. "And now we are quite grown up and do not +care to climb so high, but creep humbly through our neighbor's hedge." + +"Then you really are strangers?" cried Paula in surprise. "And have you +never met Pulcheria, Katharina?" + +"Pul?--oh, how glad I should have been to call her!" said Katharina. +"I have been on the point of it a hundred times; for her mere appearance +makes one fall in love with her,--but my mother. . . ." + +"Well, and what has your mother got to say against her neighbors?" asked +Rufinus. "I believe we are peaceable folks who do no one any harm." + +"No, no, God forbid! But my mother has her own way of viewing things; +you and she are strangers still, and as you are so rarely to be seen in +church. . . ." + +"She naturally takes us for the ungodly. Tell her that she is mistaken, +and if you are Paula's friend and you come to see her--but prettily, +through the gate, and not through the hedge, for it will be closely +twined again by to-morrow morning--if you come here, I say, you will find +that we have a great deal to do and a great many creatures to nurse and +care for--poor human creatures some of them, and some with fur or +feathers, just as it comes; and man serves his Maker if he only makes +life easier to the beings that come in his way; for He loves them all. +Tell that to your mother, little wagtail, and come again very often." + +"Thank you very much. But let me ask you, if I may, where you heard that +odious nickname? I hate it." + +"From the same person who told you the secret that my Pulcheria is called +Pul!" said Rufinus; he laughed and bowed and left the two girls +together. + +"What a dear old man!" cried Katharina. "Oh, I know quite well how he +spends his Days! And his pretty wife and Pul--I know them all. How +often I have watched them--I will show you the place one day! I can see +over the whole garden, only not what goes on near the convent on the +other side of the house, or beyond those trees. You know my mother; +if she once dislikes any one... But Pul, you understand, would be such +a friend for me!" + +"Of course she would," replied Paula. "And a girl of your age must chose +older companions than little Mary." + +"Oh, you shall not say a word against her!" cried Katharina eagerly. +"She is only ten years old, but many a grown-up person is not so upright +or so capable as I have found her during these last few miserable days." + +"Poor child!" said Paula stroking her hair. + +At this a bitter sob broke suddenly and passionately from Katharina; she +tried with all her might to suppress it, but could not succeed. Her fit +of weeping was so violent that she could not utter a word, till Paula had +led her to a bench under a spreading sycamore, had induced her with +gentle force to sit down by her side, clasping her in her arms like a +suffering child, and speaking to her words of comfort and encouragement. + +Birds without number were going to rest in the dense branches overhead, +owls and bats had begun their nocturnal raids, the sky put on its +spangled glory of gold and silver stars, from the western end of the town +came the jackals' bark as they left their lurking-places among the ruined +houses and stole out in search of prey, the heavy dew, falling through +the mild air silently covered the leaves, the grass, and the flowers; the +garden was more powerfully fragrant now than during the day-time, and +Paula felt that it was high time to take refuge from the mists that came +up from the shallow stream. But still she lingered while the little +maiden poured out all that weighed upon her, all she repented of, +believing she could never atone for it; and then all she had gone +through, thinking it must break her heart, and all she still had to +live down and drive out of her mind. + +She told Paula how Orion had wooed her, how much she loved him, how her +heart had been tortured by jealousy of her, Paula, and how she had +allowed herself to be led away into bearing false witness before the +judges. And then she went on to say it was Mary who had first opened her +eyes to the abyss by which she was standing. In the afternoon after the +death of the Mukaukas she had gone with her mother to the governor's +house to join in her friends' lamentations. She had at once asked after +Mary, but had not been allowed to see her, for she was still in bed and +very feverish. She was then on her way to the cool hall when she heard +her mother's voice--not in grief, but angry and vehement--so, thinking it +would be more becoming to keep out of the way, she wandered off into the +pillared vestibule opening towards the Nile. She would not for worlds +have met Orion, and was terribly afraid she might do so, but as she went +out, for it was still quite light, there she found him--and in what a +state! He was sitting all in a heap, dressed in black, with his head +buried in his hands. He had not observed her presence; but she pitied +him deeply, for though it was very hot he was trembling in every limb, +and his strong frame shuddered repeatedly. She had therefore spoken to +him, begging him to be comforted, at which he had started to his feet in +dismay, and had pushed his unkempt hair back from his face, looking so +pale, so desperate, that she had been quite terrified and could not +manage to bring out the consoling words she had ready. For some time +neither of them had uttered a syllable, but at length he had pulled +himself together as if for some great deed, he came slowly towards her +and laid his hands on her shoulders with a solemn dignity which no one +certainly had ever before seen in him. He stood gazing into her face-- +his eyes were red with much weeping--and he sighed from his very heart +the two words: "Unhappy Child!"--She could hear them still sounding in +her ears. + +And he was altered: from head to foot quite different, like a stranger. +His voice, even, sounded changed and deeper than usual as he went on: + +"Child, child! Perhaps I have given much pain in my life without knowing +it; but you have certainly suffered most through me, for I have made you, +an innocent, trusting creature, my accomplice in crime. The great sin we +both committed has been visited on me alone, but the punishment is a +hundred--a thousand times too heavy!" + +"And with this," Katharina went on, "he covered his face with his hands, +threw himself on the couch again, and groaned and sighed. Then he sprang +up once more, crying out so loud and passionately that I felt as if I +must die of grief and pity: 'Forgive me if you can! Forgive me, wholly, +freely. I want it--you must, you must! I was going to run up to him and +throw my arms round him and forgive him everything, his trouble +distressed me so much; but he gravely pushed me away--not roughly or +sternly, and he said that there was an end of all love-making and +betrothal between us--that I was young, and that I should be able to +forget him. He would still be a true friend to me and to my mother, +and the more we required of him the more gladly would he serve us. + +"I was about to answer him, but he hastily interrupted me and said firmly +and decisively: 'Lovable as you are, I cannot love you as you deserve; +for it is my duty to tell you, I have another and a greater love in my +heart--my first and my last; and though once in my life I have proved +myself a wretch, still, it was but once; and I would rather endure your +anger, and hurt both you and myself now, than continue this unrighteous +tie and cheat you and others.'--At this I was greatly startled, and +asked: 'Paula?' However, he did not answer, but bent over me and touched +my forehead with his lips, just as my father often kissed me, and then +went quickly out into the garden. + +"Just then my mother came up, as red as a poppy and panting for breath: +she took me by the hand without a word, dragged me into the chariot after +her, and then cried out quite beside herself--she could not even shed a +tear for rage: 'What insolence! what unheard-of behavior--How can I find +the heart to tell you, poor sacrificed lamb. . .'" + +"And she would have gone on, but that I would not let her finish; I told +her at once that I knew all, and happily I was able to keep quite calm. +I had some bad hours at home; and when Nilus came to us yesterday, after +the opening of the will, and brought me the pretty little gold box with +turquoises and pearls that I have always admired, and told me that the +good Mukaukas had written with his own hand, in his last will, that it +was to be given to me I his bright little 'Katharina,' my mother insisted +on my not taking it and sent it back to Neforis, though I begged and +prayed to keep it. And of course I shall never go to that house again; +indeed my mother talks of quitting Memphis altogether and settling in +Constantinople or some other city under Christian rule. 'Then our nice, +pretty house must be given up, and our dear, lovely garden be sold to the +peasant folk, my mother says. It was just the same a year and a half ago +with Memnon's palace. His garden was turned into a corn-field, and the +splendid ground-floor rooms, with their mosaics and pictures, are now +dirty stables for cows and sheep, and pigs are fed in the rooms that +belonged to Hathor and Dorothea. Good Heavens! And they were my +clearest friends! And I am never to play with Mary any more; and mother +has not a kind word for any living soul, hardly even for me, and my old +nurse is as deaf as a mole! Am I not a really miserable, lonely +creature? And if you, even you, will have nothing to say to me, who is +there in all Memphis whom I can trust in? But you will not be so cruel, +will you? And it will not be for long, for my mother really means to go +away. You are older than I am, of course, and much graver and wiser...." + +"I will be kind to you, child; but try to make friends with Pulcheria!" + +"Gladly, gladly. But then my mother! I should get on very well by +myself if it were not. . . Well, you yourself heard what Orion said to +me, that time in the avenue. He surely loved me a little! What sweet, +tender names he gave me then. Oh God! no man can speak like that to any +one he is not fond of!--And he is rich himself; it cannot have been only +my fortune that bewitched him. And does he look like a man who would +allow himself to be parted from a girl by his mother, whether he would or +no?" + +"He was always fond of me I think; but then, afterwards, he remembered +what a high position he had to fill and regarded me as too little and too +childish. Oh, how many tears I have shed over being so absurdly little! +A Water-wagtail--that is what I shall always be. Your old host called me +so; and if a man like Orion feels that he must have a stately wife I can +hardly blame him. That other one whom he thinks he loves better than he +does me is tall and beautiful and majestic--like you; and I have always +told myself that his future wife ought to look like you. It is all over +between him and me, and I will submit humbly; but at the same time I +cannot help thinking that when he came home he thought me pretty and +attractive, and had a real fancy and liking for me. Yes, it was so, it +certainly was so!--But then he saw that other one, and I cannot compare +with her. She is indeed the woman he wants,--and that other, Paula, is +yourself. Yes, indeed, you yourself; an inner voice tells me so. And I +tell you truly, you may quite believe me: it is a pain no doubt, but I +can be glad of it too. I should hate any mere girl to whom he held out +his hand--but, if you are that other--and if you are his wife. . ." + +"Nonsense," exclaimed Paula decidedly. "Consider what you are saying. +When Orion tempted you to perjure yourself, did he behave as my friend or +as my foe, my bitterest and most implacable enemy?" + +"Before the judges, to be sure. . ." replied the girl looking down +thoughtfully. But she soon looked up again, fixed her eyes on Paula's +face with a sparkling, determined glance, and frankly and unhesitatingly +exclaimed: "And you?--In spite of it all he is so handsome, so clever, so +manly. You can hardly help it--you love him!" + +Paula withdrew her arm, which had been round Katharina, and answered +candidly. + +"Until to-day, at the funeral, I hated and abominated him; but there, +by his father's tomb, he struck me as a new man, and I found it easy to +forgive him in my heart." + +"Then you mean to say that you do not love him?" urged Katharina, +clasping her friend's round arm with her slender fingers. + +Paula started to feel how icy cold her hand was. The moon was up, the +stars rose higher and higher, so, simply saying: "Come away," she rose. +"It must be within an hour of midnight," she added. "Your mother will be +anxious about you." + +"Only an hour of midnight!" repeated the girl in alarm. "Good Heavens, +I shall have a scolding! She is still playing draughts with the Bishop, +no doubt, as she does every evening. Good-bye then for the present. +The shortest way is through the hedge again." + +"No," said Paula firmly, "you are no longer a child; you are grown up, +and must feel it and show it. You are not to creep through the bushes, +but to go home by the gate. Rufinus and I will go with you and explain +to your mother. . ." + +"No, no!" cried Katharina in terror. "She is as angry with you as she +is with them. Only yesterday she forbid. . ." + +"Forbid you to come to me?" asked Paula. "Does she believe. . ." + +"That it was for your sake that Orion.... Yes, she is only too glad to +lay all the blame on you. But now that I have talked to you I.... Look, +do you see that light? It is in her sitting-room." + +And, before Paula could prevent her, she ran to the hedge and slipped +through the gap as nimbly as a weasel. + +Paula looked after her with mingled feelings, and then went back to the +house, and to bed. Katharina's story kept her awake for a long time, and +the suspicion--nay almost the conviction--that it was herself, indeed, +who had aroused that "great love" in Orion's heart gave her no rest. If +it were she? There, under her hand was the instrument of revenge on the +miscreant; she could make him taste of all the bitterness he had brewed +for her aching spirit. But which of them would the punishment hurt most +sorely: him or herself? Had not the little girl's confidences revealed a +world of rapture to her and her longing heart? No, no. It would be too +humiliating to allow the same hand that had smitten her so ruthlessly to +uplift her to heaven; it would be treason against herself. + +Slumber overtook her in the midst of these conflicting feelings and +thoughts, and towards morning she had a dream which, even by daylight, +haunted her and made her shudder. + +She saw Orion coming towards her, as pale as death, robed in mourning, +pacing slowly on a coal-black horse; she had not the strength to fly, and +without speaking to her or looking at her, he lifted her high in the air +like a child, and placed her in front of him on the horse. She put forth +all her strength to get free and dismount, but he clasped her with both +arms like iron clamps and quelled her efforts. Life itself would not +have seemed too great a price for escape from this constraint; but, the +more wildly she fought, the more closely she was held by the silent and +pitiless horseman. At their feet flowed the swirling river, but Orion +did not seem to notice it, and without moving his lips, he coolly guided +the steed towards the water. Beside herself now with horror and dread, +she implored him to turn away; but he did not heed her, and went on +unmoved into the midst of the stream. Her terror increased to an +agonizing pitch as the horse bore her deeper and deeper into the water; +of her own free will she threw her arms round the rider's neck; his +paleness vanished, his cheeks gained a ruddy hue, his lips sought hers in +a kiss; and, in the midst of the very anguish of death, she felt a thrill +of rapture that she had never known before. She could have gone on thus +for ever, even to destruction; and, in fact, they were still sinking--she +felt the water rising breast high, but she cared not. Not a word had +either of them spoken. Suddenly she felt urged to break the silence, and +as if she could not help it she asked: "Am I the other?" At this the +waves surged down on them from all sides; a whirlpool dragged away the +horse, spinning him round, and with him Orion and herself, a shrill blast +swept past them, and then the current and the waves, the roaring of the +whirlpool, the howling of the storm--all at once and together, as with +one voice, louder than all else and filling her ears, shouted: "Thou!"-- +Only Orion remained speechless. An eddy caught the horse and sucked him +under, a wave carried her away from him, she was sinking, sinking, and +stretched out her arms with longing.--A cold dew stood on her brow as she +slept, and the nurse, waking her from her uneasy dream, shook her head as +she said: + +"Why, child? What ails you? You have been calling Orion again and +again, at first in terror and then so tenderly.--Yes, believe me, +tenderly." + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +In the neat rooms which Rufinus' wife had made ready for her sick guests +perfect peace reigned, and it was noon. A soft twilight fell through the +thick green curtains which mitigated the sunshine, and the nurses had +lately cleared away after the morning meal. Paula was moistening the +bandage on the Masdakite's head, and Pulcheria was busy in the adjoining +room with Mandane, who obeyed the physician's instructions with +intelligent submission and showed no signs of insanity. + +Paula was still spellbound by her past dream. She was possessed by such +unrest that, quite against her wont, she could not long remain quiet, and +when Pulcheria came to her to tell her this or that, she listened with so +little attention and sympathy that the humble-minded girl, fearing to +disturb her, withdrew to her patient's bed-side and waited quietly till +her new divinity called her. + +In fact, it was not without reason that Paula gave herself up to a +certain anxiety; for, if she was not mistaken, Orion must necessarily +present himself to hand over to her the remainder of her fortune; and +though even yesterday, on her way from the cemetery, she had said to +herself that she must and would refuse to meet him, the excitement +produced by Katharina's story and her subsequent dream had confirmed +her in her determination. + +Perpetua awaited Orion's visit on the ground-floor, charged to announce +him to Rufinus and not to her mistress. The old man had willingly +undertaken to receive the money as her representative; for Philippus had +not concealed from her that he had acquainted him with the circumstances +under which Paula had quitted the governor's house, describing Orion as a +man whom she had good reason for desiring to avoid. + +By about two hours after noon Paula's restlessness had increased so much +that now and then she wandered out of the sick-room, which looked over +the garden, to watch the Nile-quay from the window of the anteroom; for +he might arrive by either way. She never thought of the security of her +property; but the question arose in her mind as to whether it were not +actually a breach of duty to avoid the agitation it would cost her to +meet her cousin face to face. On this point no one could advise her, +not even Perpetua; her own mother could hardly have understood all her +feelings on such an occasion. She scarcely knew herself indeed; for +hitherto she had never failed, even in the most difficult cases, to know +at once and without long reflection, what to do and to leave undone, what +under special circumstances was right or wrong. But now she felt herself +a yielding reed, a leaf tossed hither and thither; and every time she set +her teeth and clenched her hands, determined to think calmly and to +reason out the "for" and "against," her mind wandered away again, while +the memory of her dream, of Orion as he stood by his father's grave--of +Katharina's tale of "the other," and the fearful punishment which he had +to suffer, nay indeed, certainly had suffered--came and went in her mind +like the flocks of birds over the Nile, whose dipping and soaring had +often passed like a fluttering veil between her eye and some object on +the further shore. + +It was three hours past noon, and she had returned to the sick-room, when +she thought that she heard hoofs in the garden and hurried to the window +once more. Her heart had not beat more wildly when the dog had flown at +her and Hiram that fateful night, than it did now as she hearkened to the +approach of a horseman, still hidden from her gaze by the shrubs. It +must be Orion--but why did he not dismount? No, it could not be he; his +tall figure would have overtopped the shrubbery which was of low growth. + +She did not know her host's friends; it was one of them very likely. Now +the horse had turned the corner; now it was coming up the path from the +front gate; now Rufinus had gone forth to meet the visitor--and it was +not Orion, but his secretary, a much smaller man, who slipped off a mule +that she at once recognized, threw the reins to a lad, handed something +to the old man, and then dropped on to a bench to yawn and stretch his +legs. + +Then she saw Rufinus come towards the house. Had Orion charged this +messenger to bring her her possessions? She thought this somewhat +insulting, and her blood boiled with wrath. But there could be no +question here of a surrender of property; for what her host was holding +in his hand was nothing heavy, but a quite small object; probably, nay, +certainly a roll of papyrus. He was coming up the narrow stairs, so she +ran out to meet him, blushing as though she were doing something wrong. +The old man observed this and said, as he handed her the scroll: + +"You need not be frightened, daughter of a hero. The young lord is not +here himself, he prefers, it would seem, to treat with you by letter; +and it is best so for both parties." + +Paula nodded agreement; she took the roll, and then, while she tore the +silken tie from the seal, she turned her back on the old man; for she +felt that the blood had faded from her face, and her hands were +trembling. + +"The messenger awaits an answer," remarked Rufinus, before she began to +read it. "I shall be below and at your service." He left; Paula +returned to the sick-room, and leaning against the frame of the casement, +read as follows, with eager agitation: + +"Orion, the son of George the Mukaukas who sleeps in the Lord, to his +cousin the daughter of the noble Thomas of Damascus, greeting. + +"I have destroyed several letters that I had written to you before this +one." Paula shrugged her shoulders incredulously. "I hope I may succeed +better this time in saying what I feel to be indispensable for your +welfare and my own. I have both to crave a favor and offer counsel." + +"Counsel! he!" thought the girl with a scornful curl of the lips, as she +went on. "May the memory of the man who loved you as his daughter, and +who on his death-bed wished for nothing so much as to see you--averse as +he was to your creed--and bless you as his daughter indeed, as his son's +wife,--may the remembrance of that just man so far prevail over your +indignant and outraged soul that these words from the most wretched man +on earth, for that am I, Paula, may not be left unread. Grant me the +last favor I have to ask of you--I demand it in my father's name." + +"Demand!" repeated the damsel; her cheeks flamed, her eye sparkled +angrily, and her hands clutched the opposite sides of the letter as +though to tear it across. But the next words: "Do not fear," checked her +hasty impulse--she smoothed out the papyrus and read on with growing +excitement: + +"Do not fear that I shall address you as a lover--as the man for whom +there is but one woman on earth. And that one can only be she whom I +have so deeply injured, whom I fought with as frantic, relentless, and +cruel weapons as ever I used against a foe of my own sex." + +"But one," murmured the girl; she passed her hand across her brow, and a +faint smile of happy pride dwelt on her lips as she went on: + +"I shall love you as long as breath animates this crushed and wretched +heart." + +Again the letter was in danger of destruction, but again it escaped +unharmed, and Paula's expression became one of calm and tender pleasure +as she read to the end of Orion's clearly written epistle: + +"I am fully conscious that I have forfeited your esteem, nay even all +good feeling towards me, by my own fault; and that, unless divine love +works some miracle in your heart, I have sacrificed all joy on earth. +You are revenged; for it was for your sake--understand that--for your +sake alone, that my beloved and dying father withdrew the blessings he +had heaped on my remorseful head, and in wrath that was only too just at +the recreant who had desecrated the judgment-seat of his ancestors, +turned that blessing to a curse." + +Paula turned pale as she read. This then was what Katharina had meant. +This was what had so changed his appearance, and perhaps, too, his whole +inward being. And this, this bore the stamp of truth, this could not be +a lie--it was for her sake that a father's curse had blighted his only +son! How had it all happened? Had Philippus failed to observe it, or +had he held his peace out of respect for the secrets of another?--Poor +man, poor young man! She must see him, must speak to him. She could not +have a moment's ease till she knew how it was that her uncle, a tender +father.--But she must go on, quickly to the end: + +"I come to you only as what I am: a heart-broken man, too young to give +myself over for lost, and at the same time determined to make use of all +that remains to me of the steadfast will, the talents, and the self- +respect of my forefathers to render me worthy of them, and I implore you +to grant me a brief interview. Not a word, not a look shall betray the +passion within and which threatens to destroy me. + +"You must on no account fail to read what follows, since it is of no +small real importance even to you. In the first place restitution must +be made to you of all of your inheritance which the deceased was able to +rescue and to add to by his fatherly stewardship. In these agitated +times it will be a matter of some difficulty to invest this capital +safely and to good advantage. Consider: just as the Arabs drove out +the Byzantines, the Byzantines might drive them out again in their turn. +The Persians, though stricken to the earth, the Avars, or some other +people whose very name is as yet unknown to history, may succeed our +present rulers, who, only ten years since, were regarded as a mere +handful of unsettled camel-drivers, caravan-leaders, and poverty-stricken +desert-tribes. The safety of your fortune would be less difficult to +provide for if, as was formerly the case here, we could entrust it to the +merchants of Alexandria. But one great house after another is being +ruined there, and all security is at an end. As to hiding or burying +your possessions, as most Egyptians do in these hard times, it is +impossible, for the same reason as prevents our depositing it on interest +in the state land-register. You must be able to get it at the shortest +notice; since you might at some time wish to quit Egypt in haste with all +your possessions. + +"These are matters with which a woman cannot be familiar. I would +therefore propose that you should leave the arrangement of them to us +men; to Philippus, the physician, Rufinus, your host--who is, I am +assured, an honest man--and to our experienced and trustworthy treasurer +Nilus, whom you know as an incorruptible judge. + +"I propose that the business should be settled tomorrow in the house of +Rufinus. You can be present or not, as you please. If we men agree in +our ideas I beg you--I beseech you to grant me an interview apart. It +will last but a few minutes, and the only subject of discussion will be a +matter--an exchange by which you will recover something you value and +have lost, and grant me I hope, if not your esteem, at any rate a word of +forgiveness. I need it sorely, believe me, Paula; it is as indispensable +to me as the breath of life, if I am to succeed in the work I have begun +on myself. If you have prevailed on yourself to read through this +letter, simply answer 'Yes' by my messenger, to relieve me from torturing +uncertainty. If you do not--which God forefend for both our sakes, Nilus +shall this very day carry to you all that belongs to you. But, if you +have read these lines, I will make my appearance to-morrow, at two hours +after noon, with Nilus to explain to the others the arrangement of which +I have spoken. God be with you and infuse some ruth into your proud and +noble soul!" + +Paula drew a deep breath as the hand holding this momentous epistle +dropped by her side; she stood for some time by the window, lost in grave +meditation. Then calling Pulcheria, she begged her to tend her patient, +too, for a short time. The girl looked up at her with rapt admiration in +her clear eyes, and asked sympathetically why she was so pale; Paula +kissed her lips and eyes, and saying affectionately: "Good, happy child!" +she retired to her own room on the opposite side of the house. There she +once more read through the letter. + +Oh yes; this was Orion as she had known him after his return till the +evening of that never-to-be-forgotten water-party. He was, indeed, a +poet; nature herself had made it so easy to him to seduce unguarded souls +into a belief in him! And yet no! This letter was honestly meant. +Philippus knew men well; Orion really had a heart, a warm heart. Not the +most reckless of criminals could mock at the curse hurled at him by a +beloved father in his last moments. And, as she once more read the +sentence in which he told her that it was his crime as an unjust judge +towards her that had turned the dying man's blessing to a curse, she +shuddered and reflected that their relative attitude was now reversed, +and that he had suffered more and worse through her than she had through +him. His pale face, as she had seen it in the Necropolis, came back +vividly to her mind, and if he could have stood before her at this moment +she would have flown to him, have offered him a compassionate hand, and +have assured him that the woes she had brought upon him filled her with +the deepest and sincerest pity. + +That morning she had asked the Masdakite whether he had besought Heaven +to grant him a speedy recovery, and the man replied that Persians never +prayed for any particular blessing, but only for "that which was good;" +for that none but the Omnipotent knew what was good for mortals. How +wise! For in this instance might not the most terrible blow that could +fall on a son--his father's curse--prove a blessing? It was undoubtedly +that curse which had led him to look into his soul and to start on this +new path. She saw him treading it, she longed to believe in his +conversion--and she did believe in it. In this letter he spoke of his +love; he even asked her hand. Only yesterday this would have roused her +wrath; to-day she could forgive him; for she could forgive anything to +this unhappy soul--to the man on whom she had brought such deep anguish. +Her heart could now beat high in the hope of seeing him again; nay, it +even seemed to her that the youth, whose return had been hailed with such +welcome and who had so powerfully attracted her, had only now grown and +ripened to full and perfect manhood through his sin, his penitence, and +his suffering. + +And how noble a task it would be to assist him in seeking the right way, +and in becoming what he aspired to be! + +The prudent care he had given to her worldly welfare merited her +gratitude. What could he mean by the "exchange" he proposed? The +"great love" of which he had spoken to Katharina was legible in every +line of his letter, and any woman can forgive any man--were he a sinner, +and a scarecrow into the bargain--for his audacity in loving her. Oh! +that he might but set his heart on her--for hers, it was vain to deny +it, was strongly drawn to him. Still she would not call it Love that +stirred within her; it could only be the holy impulse to point out to him +the highest goal of life and smooth the path for him. The pale horseman +who had clutched her in her dream should not drag her away; no, she would +joyfully lift him up to the highest pinnacle attainable by a brave and +noble man. + +So her thoughts ran, and her cheeks flushed as, with swift decision, she +opened her trunk, took out papyrus, writing implements and a seal, and +seated herself at a little desk which Rufinus had placed for her in the +window, to write her answer. + +At this a sudden fervent longing for Orion came over her. She made a +great effort to shake it off; still, she felt that in writing to him it +was impossible that she should find the right words, and as she replaced +the papyrus in the chest and looked at the seal a strange thing happened +to her; for the device on her father's well-known ring: a star above two +crossed swords--perchance the star of Orion--caught her eye, with the +motto in Greek: "The immortal gods have set sweat before virtue," meaning +that the man who aims at being virtuous must grudge neither sweat nor +toil. + +She closed her trunk with a pleased smile, for the motto round the star +was, she felt, of good augury. At the same time she resolved to speak to +Orion, taking these words, which her forefathers had adopted from old +Hesiod, as her text. She hastened down stairs, crossed the garden, +passing by Rufinus, his wife and the physician, awoke the secretary who +had long since dropped asleep, and enjoined him to say: "Yes" to his +master, as he expected. However, before the messenger had mounted his +mule, she begged him to wait yet a few minutes and returned to the two +men; for she had forgotten in her eagerness to speak to them of Orion's +plans. They were both willing to meet him at the hour proposed and, +while Philippus went to tell the messenger that they would expect his +master on the next day, the old man looked at Paula with undisguised +satisfaction and said: + +"We were fearing lest the news from the governor's house should have +spoilt your happy mood, but, thank God, you look as if you had just come +from a refreshing bath.--What do you say, Joanna? Twenty years ago such +an inmate here would have made you jealous? Or was there never a place +for such evil passions in your dove-like soul?" + +"Nonsense!" laughed the matron. "How can I tell how many fair beings +you have gazed after, wanderer that you are in all the wide world far +away?" + +"Well, old woman, but as sure as man is the standard of all things, +nowhere that I have carried my staff, have I met with a goddess like +this!" + +"I certainly have not either, living here like a snail in its shell," +said Dame Joanna, fixing her bright eyes on Paula with fervent +admiration. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +That evening Rufinus was sitting in the garden with his wife and daughter +and their friend Philippus. Paula, too, was there, and from time to time +she stroked Pulcheria's silky golden hair, for the girl had seated +herself at her feet, leaning her head against Paula's knee. + +The moon was full, and it was so light out of doors that they could see +each other plainly, so Rufinus' proposition that they should remain to +watch an eclipse which was to take place an hour before midnight found +all the more ready acceptance because the air was pleasant. The men had +been discussing the expected phenomenon, lamenting that the Church should +still lend itself to the superstitions of the populace by regarding it as +of evil omen, and organizing a penitential procession for the occasion to +implore God to avert all ill. Rufinus declared that it was blasphemy +against the Almighty to interpret events happening in the course of +eternal law and calculable beforehand, as a threatening sign from Him; as +though man's deserts had any connection with the courses of the sun and +moon. The Bishop and all the priests of the province were to head the +procession, and thus a simple natural phenomenon was forced in the minds +of the people into a significance it did not possess. + +"And if the little comet which my old foster father discovered last week +continues to increase," added the physician, "so that its tail spreads +over a portion of the sky, the panic will reach its highest pitch; I can +see already that they will behave like mad creatures." + +"But a comet really does portend war, drought, plague, and famine," said +Pulcheria, with full conviction; and Paula added: + +"So I have always believed." + +"But very wrongly," replied the leech. "There are a thousand reasons +to the contrary; and it is a crime to confirm the mob in such a +superstition. It fills them with grief and alarms; and, would you +believe it--such anguish of mind, especially when the Nile is so low +and there is more sickness than usual, gives rise to numberless forms +of disease? We shall have our hands full, Rufinus." + +"I am yours to command," replied the old man. "But at the same time, if +the tailed wanderer must do some mischief, I would rather it should break +folks' arms and legs than turn their brains." + +"What a wish!" exclaimed Paula. "But you often say things--and I see +things about you too--which seem to me extraordinary. Yesterday you +promised. . . ." + +"To explain to you why I gather about me so many of God's creatures who +have to struggle under the burden of life as cripples, or with injured +limbs." + +"Just so," replied Paula. "Nothing can be more truly merciful than to +render life bearable to such hapless beings. . . ." + +"But still, you think," interrupted the eager old man, "that this noble +motive alone would hardly account for the old oddity's riding his hobby +so hard.--Well, you are right. From my earliest youth the structure of +the bones in man and beast has captivated me exceedingly; and just as +collectors of horns, when once they have a complete series of every +variety of stag, roe, and gazelle, set to work with fresh zeal to find +deformed or monstrous growths, so I have found pleasure in studying every +kind of malformation and injury in the bones of men and beasts." + +"And to remedy them," added Philippus. "It has been his passion from +childhood. + +"And the passion has grown upon me since I broke my own hip bone and know +what it means," the old man went on. "With the help of my fellow-student +there, from a mere dilettante I became a practised surgeon; and, what is +more, I am one of those who serve Esculapius at my own expense. However, +there are accessory reasons for which I have chosen such strange +companions: deformed slaves are cheap and besides that, certain +investigations afford me inestimable and peculiar satisfaction. +But this cannot interest a young girl." + +"Indeed it does!" cried Paula. "So far as I have understood Philippus +when he explains some details of natural history. . . ." + +"Stay," laughed Rufinus, "our friend will take good care not to explain +this. He regards it as folly, and all he will admit is that no surgeon +or student could wish for better, more willing, or more amusing house- +mates than my cripples." + +"They are grateful to you," cried Paula. + +"Grateful?" asked the old man. "That is true sometimes, no doubt; +still, gratitude is a tribute on which no wise man ever reckons. Now I +have told you enough; for the sake of Philippus we will let the rest +pass." + +"No, no," said Paula putting up entreating hands, and Rufinus answered +gaily: + +"Who can refuse you anything? I will cut it short, but you must pay +good heed.--Well then Man is the standard of all things. Do you +understand that?" + +"Yes, I often hear you say so. Things you mean are only what they seem +to us." + +"To us, you say, because we--you and I and the rest of us here--are sound +in body and mind. And we must regard all things--being God's handiwork-- +as by nature sound and normal. Thus we are justified in requiring that +man, who gives the standard for them shall, first and foremost, himself +be sound and normal. Can a carpenter measure straight planks properly +with a crooked or sloping rod?" + +"Certainly not." + +"Then you will understand how I came to ask myself: 'Do sickly, crippled, +and deformed men measure things by a different standard to that of sound +men? And might it not be a useful task to investigate how their +estimates differ from ours?'" + +"And have your researches among your cripples led to any results?" + +"To many important ones," the old man declared; but Philippus interrupted +him with a loud: "Oho!" adding that his friend was in too great a hurry +to deduce laws from individual cases. Many of his observations were, no +doubt, of considerable interest... Here Rufinus broke in with some +vehemence, and the discussion would have become a dispute if Paula had +not intervened by requesting her zealous host to give her the results, at +any rate, of his studies. + +"I find," said Rufinus very confidently, as he stroked down his long +beard, "that they are not merely shrewd because their faculties are early +sharpened to make up by mental qualifications for what they lack in +physical advantages; they are also witty, like AEesop the fabulist and +Besa the Egyptian god, who, as I have been told by our old friend Horus, +from whom we derive all our Egyptian lore, presided among those heathen +over festivity, jesting, and wit, and also over the toilet of women. +This shows the subtle observation of the ancients; for the hunchback +whose body is bent, applies a crooked standard to things in general. +His keen insight often enables him to measure life as the majority of men +do, that is by a straight rule; but in some happy moments when he yields +to natural impulse he makes the straight crooked and the crooked +straight; and this gives rise to wit, which only consists in looking at +things obliquely and--setting them askew as it were. You have only to +talk to my hump-backed gardener Gibbus, or listen to what he says. When +he is sitting with the rest of our people in an evening, they all laugh +as soon as he opens his mouth.--And why? Because his conformation makes +him utter nothing but paradoxes.--You know what they are?" + +"Certainly." + +"And you, Pul?" + +"No, Father." + +"You are too straight-nay, and so is your simple soul, to know what the +thing is! Well, listen then: It would be a paradox, for instance, if I +were to say to the Bishop as he marches past in procession: 'You are +godless out of sheer piety;' or if I were to say to Paula, by way of +excuse for all the flattery which I and your mother offered her just now: +'Our incense was nauseous for very sweetness.'--These paradoxes, when +examined, are truths in a crooked form, and so they best suit the +deformed. Do you understand?" + +"Certainly," said Paula. + +"And you, Pul?" + +"I am not quite sure. I should be better pleased to be simply told: "We +ought not to have made such flattering speeches; they may vex a young +girl." + +"Very good, my straightforward child," laughed her father. "But look, +there is the man! Here, good Gibbus--come here!--Now, just consider: +supposing you had flattered some one so grossly that you had offended him +instead of pleasing him: How would you explain the state of affairs in +telling me of it?" + +The gardener, a short, square man, with a huge hump but a clever face and +good features, reflected a minute and then replied: "I wanted to make an +ass smell at some roses and I put thistles under his nose." + +"Capital!" cried Paula; and as Gibbus turned away, laughing to himself, +the physician said: + +"One might almost envy the man his hump. But yet, fair Paula, I think we +have some straight-limbed folks who can make use of such crooked phrases, +too, when occasion serves." + +But Rufinus spoke before Paula could reply, referring her to his Essay on +the deformed in soul and body; and then he went on vehemently: + +"I call you all to witness, does not Baste, the lame woman, restrict her +views to the lower aspect of things, to the surface of the earth indeed? +She has one leg much shorter than the other, and it is only with much +pains that we have contrived that it should carry her. To limp along at +all she is forced always to look down at the ground, and what is the +consequence? She can never tell you what is hanging to a tree, and about +three weeks since I asked her under a clear sky and a waning moon whether +the moon had been shining the evening before and she could not tell me, +though she had been sitting out of doors with the others till quite late, +evening after evening. I have noticed, too, that she scarcely recognizes +men who are rather tall, though she may have seen them three or four +times. Her standard has fallen short-like her leg. Now, am I right or +wrong?" + +"In this instance you are right," replied Philippus, "still, I know some +lame people. . ." + +And again words ran high between the friends; Pulcheria, however, put an +end to the discussion this time, by exclaiming enthusiastically: + +"Baste is the best and most good-natured soul in the whole house!" + +"Because she looks into her own heart," replied Rufinus. "She knows +herself; and, because she knows how painful pain is, she treats others +tenderly. Do you remember, Philippus, how we disputed after that +anatomical lecture we heard together at Caesarea?" + +"Perfectly well," said the leech, "and later life has but confirmed the +opinion I then held. There is no less true or less just saying than the +Latin motto: 'Mens sana in corpore sano,' as it is generally interpreted +to mean that a healthy soul is only to be found in a healthy body. As +the expression of a wish it may pass, but I have often felt inclined to +doubt even that. It has been my lot to meet with a strength of mind, a +hopefulness, and a thankfulness for the smallest mercies in the sickliest +bodies, and at the same time a delicacy of feeling, a wise reserve, and +an undeviating devotion to lofty things such as I have never seen in a +healthy frame. The body is but the tenement of the soul, and just as we +find righteous men and sinners, wise men and fools, alike in the palace +and the hovel--nay, and often see truer worth in a cottage than in the +splendid mansions of the great--so we may discover noble souls both +in the ugly and the fair, in the healthy and the infirm, and most +frequently, perhaps, in the least vigorous. We should be careful how we +go about repeating such false axioms, for they can only do harm to those +who have a heavy burthen to bear through life as it is. In my opinion a +hunchback's thoughts are as straightforward as an athlete's; or do you +imagine that if a mother were to place her new-born children in a spiral +chamber and let them grow up in it, they could not tend upwards as all +men do by nature?" + +"Your comparison limps," cried Rufinus, "and needs setting to rights. +If we are not to find ourselves in open antagonism. . . ." + +"You must keep the peace," Joanna put in addressing her husband; and +before Rufinus could retort, Paula had asked him with frank simplicity: + +"How old are you, my worthy host?" + +"Your arrival at my house blessed the second day of my seventieth year," +replied Rufinus with a courteous bow. His wife shook her finger at him, +exclaiming: + +"I wonder whether you have not a secret hump? Such fine phrases. . ." + +"He is catching the style from his cripples," said Paula laughing at him. +"But now it is your turn, friend Philippus. Your exposition was worthy +of an antique sage, and it struck me--for the sake of Rufinus here I will +not say convinced me. I respect you--and yet I should like to know how +old. . . ." + +"I shall soon be thirty-one," said Philippus, anticipating her question. + +"That is an honest answer," observed Dame Joanna. "At your age many a +man clings to his twenties." + +"Why?" asked Pulcheria. + +"Well," said her mother, "only because there are some girls who think a +man of thirty too old to be attractive." + +"Stupid creatures," answered Pulcheria. "Let them find me a young +man who is more lovable than my father; and if Philippus--yes you, +Philippus--were ten or twenty years over nine and twenty, would that make +you less clever or kind?" + +"Not less ugly, at any rate," said the physician. Pulcheria laughed, but +with some annoyance, as though she had herself been the object of the +remark. "You are not a bit ugly!" she exclaimed. "Any one who says so +has no eyes. And you will hear nothing said of you but that you are a +tall, fine man!" + +As the warm-hearted girl thus spoke, defending her friend against +himself, Paula stroked her golden hair and added to the physician: + +"Pulcheria's father is so far right that she, at any rate, measures men +by a true and straight standard. Note that, Philippus!--But do not take +my questioning ill.--I cannot help wondering how a man of one and thirty +and one of seventy should have been studying in the high schools at the +same time? The moon will not be eclipsed for a long time yet--how bright +and clear it is!--So you, Rufinus, who have wandered so far through the +wide world, if you would do me a great pleasure, will tell us something +of your past life and how you came to settle in Memphis." + +"His history?" cried Joanna. "If he were to tell it, in all its details +from beginning to end, the night would wane and breakfast would get cold. +He has had as many adventures as travelled Odysseus. But tell us +something husband; you know there is nothing we should like better." + +"I must be off to my duties," said the leech, and when he had taken a +friendly leave of the others and bidden farewell to Paula with less +effusiveness than of late, Rufinus began his story. + +"I was born in Alexandria, where, at that time, commerce and industry +still flourished. My father was an armorer; above two hundred slaves and +free laborers were employed in his work-shops. He required the finest +metal, and commonly procured it by way of Massilia from Britain. On one +occasion he himself went to that remote island in a friend's ship, and he +there met my mother. Her ruddy gold hair, which Pul has inherited, seems +to have bewitched him and, as the handsome foreigner pleased her well-- +for men like my father are hard to match nowadays--she turned Christian +for his sake and came home with him. They neither of them ever regretted +it; for though she was a quiet woman, and to her dying day spoke Greek +like a foreigner, the old man often said she was his best counsellor. +At the same time she was so soft-hearted, that she could not bear that +any living creature should suffer, and though she looked keenly after +everything at the hearth and loom, she could never see a fowl, a goose, +or a pig slaughtered. And I have inherited her weakness--shall I say +'alas!' or 'thank God?' + +"I had two elder brothers who both had to help my father, and who were to +carry on the business. When I was ten years old my calling was decided +on. My mother would have liked to make a priest of me and at that time I +should have consented joyfully; but my father would not agree, and as we +had an uncle who was making a great deal of money as a Rhetor, my father +accepted a proposal from him that I should devote myself to that career. +So I went from one teacher to another and made good progress in the +schools. + +"Till my twentieth year I continued to live with my parents, and during +my many hours of leisure I was free to do or leave undone whatever I had +a fancy for; and this was always something medical, if that is not too +big a word. I was but a lad of twelve when this fancy first took me, +and that through pure accident. Of course I was fond of wandering about +the workshops, and there they kept a magpie, a quaint little bird, which +my mother had fed out of compassion. It could say 'Blockhead,' and call +my name and a few other words, and it seemed to like the noise, for it +always would fly off to where the smiths were hammering and filing their +loudest, and whenever it perched close to one of the anvils there were +sure to be mirthful faces over the shaping and scraping and polishing. +For many years its sociable ways made it a favorite; but one day it got +caught in a vice and its left leg was broken. Poor little creature!" + +The old man stooped to wipe his eyes unseen, but he went on without +pausing: + +"It fell on its back and looked at me so pathetically that I snatched the +tongs out of the bellows-man's hand--for he was going to put an end to +its sufferings in all kindness--and, picking it up gently, I made up my +mind I would cure it. Then I carried the bird into my own room, and to +keep it quiet that it might not hurt itself, I tied it down to a frame +that I contrived, straightened its little leg, warmed the injured bone by +sucking it, and strapped it to little wooden splints. And behold it +really set: the bird got quite well and fluttered about the workshops +again as sound as before, and whenever it saw me it would perch upon my +shoulder and peck very gently at my hair with its sharp beak. + +"From that moment I could have found it in me to break the legs of every +hen in the yard, that I might set them again; but I thought of something +better. I went to the barbers and told them that if any one had a bird, +a dog, or a cat, with a broken limb, he might bring it to me, and that I +was prepared to cure all these injuries gratis; they might tell all their +customers. The very next day I had a patient brought me: a black hound, +with tan spots over his eyes, whose leg had been smashed by a badly-aimed +spear: I can see him now! Others followed; feathered or four-footed +sufferers; and this was the beginning of my surgical career. The invalid +birds on the trees I still owe to my old allies the barbers. I only +occasionally take beasts in hand. The lame children, whom you saw in the +garden, come to me from poor parents who cannot afford a surgeon's aid. +The merry, curly-headed boy who brought you a rose just now is to go home +again in a few days.--But to return to the story of my youth. + +"The more serious events which gave my life this particular bias occurred +in my twentieth year, when I had already left even the high school behind +me; nor was I fully carried away by their influence till after my uncle +had procured me several opportunities of proving my proficiency in my +calling. I may say without vanity that my speeches won approval; but I +was revolted by the pompous, flowery bombast, without which I should have +been hissed down, and though my parents rejoiced when I went home from +Niku, Arsmoe, or some other little provincial town, with laurel-wreaths +and gold pieces, to myself I always seemed an impostor. Still, for my +father's sake, I dared not give up my profession, although I hated more +and more the task of praising people to the skies whom I neither loved +nor respected, and of shedding tears of pathos while all the time I was +minded to laugh. + +"I had plenty of time to myself, and as I did not lack courage and held +stoutly to our Greek confession, I was always to be found where there was +any stir or contention between the various sects. They generally passed +off with nothing worse than bruises and scratches, but now and then +swords were drawn. On one occasion thousands came forth to meet +thousands, and the Prefect called out the troops--all Greeks--to restore +order by force. A massacre ensued in which thousands were killed. I +could not describe it! Such scenes were not rare, and the fury and greed +of the mob were often directed against the Jews by the machinations of +the creatures of the archbishop and the government. The things I saw +there were so horrible, so shocking, that the tongue refuses to tell +them; but one poor Jewess, whose husband the wretches--our fellow +Christians--killed, and then pillaged the house, I have never forgotten! +A soldier dragged her down by her hair, while a ruffian snatched the +child from her breast and, holding it by its feet, dashed its skull +against the wall before her eyes--as you might slash a wet cloth against +a pillar to dry it--I shall never forget that handsome young mother and +her child; they come before me in my dreams at night even now. + +"All these things I saw; and I shuddered to behold God's creatures, +beings endowed with reason, persecuting their fellows, plunging them into +misery, tearing them limb from limb--and why? Merciful Saviour, why? +For sheer hatred--as sure as man is the standard for all things--merely +carried away by a hideous impulse to spite their neighbor for not +thinking as they do--nay, simply for not being themselves--to hurt him, +insult him, work him woe. And these fanatics, these armies who raised +the standard of ruthlessness, of extermination, of bloodthirstiness, +were Christians, were baptized in the name of Him who bids us forgive our +enemies, who enlarged the borders of love from the home and the city and +the state to include all mankind; who raised the adulteress from the +dust, who took children into his arms, and would have more joy over a +sinner who repents than over ninety and nine just persons!--Blood, blood, +was what they craved; and did not the doctrine of Him whose followers +they boastfully called themselves grow out of the blood of Him who shed +it for all men alike,--just as that lotos flower grows out of the clear +water in the marble tank? And it was the highest guardians and keepers +of this teaching of mercy, who goaded on the fury of the mob: Patriarchs, +bishops, priests and deacons--instead of pointing to the picture of the +Shepherd who tenderly carries the lost sheep and brings it home to the +fold. + +"My own times seemed to me the worst that had ever been; aye, and--as +surely as man is the standard of all things--so they are! for love is +turned to hatred, mercy to implacable hardheartedness. The thrones not +only of the temporal but of the spiritual rulers, are dripping with the +blood of their fellow-men. Emperors and bishops set the example; +subjects and churchmen follow it. The great, the leading men of the +struggle are copied by the small, by the peaceful candidates for +spiritual benefices. All that I saw as a man, in the open streets, I had +already seen as a boy both in the low and high schools. Every doctrine +has its adherents; the man who casts in his lot with Cneius is hated by +Caius, who forthwith speaks and writes to no other end than to vex and +put down Cneius, and give him pain. Each for his part strives his utmost +to find out faults in his neighbor and to put him in the pillory, +particularly if his antagonist is held the greater man, or is likely +to overtop him. Listen to the girls at the well, to the women at the +spindle; no one is sure of applause who cannot tell some evil of the +other men or women. Who cares to listen to his neighbor's praises? +The man who hears that his brother is happy at once envies him! Hatred, +hatred everywhere! Everywhere the will, the desire, the passion for +bringing grief and ruin on others rather than to help them, raise them +and heal them! + +"That is the spirit of my time; and everything within me revolted +against it with sacred wrath. I vowed in my heart that I would live and +act differently; that my sole aim should be to succor the unfortunate, to +help the wretched, to open my arms to those who had fallen into unmerited +contumely, to set the crooked straight for my neighbor, to mend what was +broken, to pour in balm, to heal and to save! + +"And, thank God! it has been vouchsafed to me in some degree to keep this +vow; and though, later, some whims and a passionate curiosity got mixed +up with my zeal, still, never have I lost sight of the great task of +which I have spoken, since my father's death and since my uncle also left +me his large fortune. Then I had done with the Rhetor's art, and +travelled east and west to seek the land where love unites men's hearts +and where hatred is only a disease; but as sure as man is the standard of +all things, to this day all my endeavors to find it have been in vain. +Meanwhile I have kept my own house on such a footing that it has become a +stronghold of love; in its atmosphere hatred cannot grow, but is nipped +in the germ. + +"In spite of this I am no saint. I have committed many a folly, many an +injustice; and much of my goods and gold, which I should perhaps have +done better to save for my family, has slipped through my fingers, though +in the execution, no doubt, of what I deemed the highest duties. Would +you believe it, Paula?--Forgive an old man for such fatherly familiarity +with the daughter of Thomas;--hardly five years after my marriage with +this good wife, not long after we had lost our only son, I left her and +our little daughter, Pul there, for more than two years, to follow the +Emperor Heraclius of my own free will to the war against the Persians who +had done me no harm--not, indeed, as a soldier, but as a surgeon eager +for experience. To confess the truth I was quite as eager to see and +treat fractures and wounds and injuries in great numbers, as I was to +exercise benevolence. I came home with a broken hip-bone, tolerably +patched up, and again, a few years later, I could not keep still in one +place. The bird of passage must need drag wife and child from the peace +of hearth and homestead, and take them to where he could go to the high +school. A husband, a father, and already grey-headed, I was a singular +exception among the youths who sat listening to the lectures and +explanations of their teachers; but as sure as man is the standard of all +things, they none of them outdid me in diligence and zeal, though many a +one was greatly my superior in gifts and intellect, and among them the +foremost was our friend Philippus. Thus it came about, noble Paula, that +the old man and the youth in his prime were fellow-students; but to this +day the senior gladly bows down to his young brother in learning and +feeling. To straighten, to comfort, and to heal: this is the aim of his +life too. And even I, an old man, who started long before Philippus on +the same career, often long to call myself his disciple." + +Here Rufinus paused and rose; Paula, too, got up, grasped his hand +warmly, and said: + +"If I were a man, I would join you! But Philippus has told me that even +a woman may be allowed to work with the same purpose.--And now let me beg +of you never to call me anything but Paula--you will not refuse me this +favor. I never thought I could be so happy again as I am with you; here +my heart is free and whole. Dame Joanna, do you be my mother! I have +lost the best of fathers, and till I find him again, you, Rufinus, must +fill his place!" + +"Gladly, gladly!" cried the old man; he clasped both her hands and went +on vivaciously: "And in return I ask you to be an elder sister to Pul. +Make that timid little thing such a maiden as you are yourself.--But +look, children, look up quickly; it is beginning!--Typhon, in the form +of a boar, is swallowing the eye of Horns: so the heathen of old in this +country used to believe when the moon suffered an eclipse. See how the +shadow is covering the bright disk. When the ancients saw this happening +they used to make a noise, shaking the sistrum with its metal rings, +drumming and trumpeting, shouting and yelling, to scare off the evil one +and drive him away. It may be about four hundred years since that last +took place, but to this day--draw your kerchiefs more closely round your +heads and come with me to the river--to this day Christians degrade +themselves by similar rites. Wherever I have been in Christian lands, +I have always witnessed the same scenes: our holy faith has, to be sure, +demolished the religions of the heathen; but their superstitions have +survived, and have forced their way through rifts and chinks into our +ceremonial. They are marching round now, with the bishop at their head, +and you can hear the loud wailing of the women, and the cries of the men, +drowning the chant of the priests. Only listen! They are as passionate +and agonized in their entreaty as though old Typhon were even now about +to swallow the moon, and the greatest catastrophe was hanging over the +world. Aye, as surely as man is the standard of all things, those +terrified beings are diseased in mind; and how are we to forgive those +who dare to scare Christians; yes, Christian souls, with the traditions +of heathen folly, and to blind their inward vision?" + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Gratitude is a tribute on which no wise man ever reckons +Healthy soul is only to be found in a healthy body +Man is the standard of all things +Persians never prayed for any particular blessing +The immortal gods have set sweat before virtue +Things you mean are only what they seem to us +Would want some one else to wear herself out for +Any woman can forgive any man for his audacity in loving her + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRIDE OF THE NILE, BY EBERS, V5 *** + +********** This file should be named 5521.txt or 5521.zip ********** + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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