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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5494.txt b/5494.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..145cf3e --- /dev/null +++ b/5494.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2229 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook Homo Sum, by Georg Ebers, Volume 1. +#56 in our series by Georg Ebers + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: Homo Sum, Volume 1. + +Author: Georg Ebers + +Release Date: April, 2004 [EBook #5494] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 2, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOMO SUM, BY GEORG EBERS, V1 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +HOMO SUM + +By Georg Ebers + +Volume 1. + + +Translated by Clara Bell + + + +PREFACE. + +In the course of my labors preparatory to writing a history of the +Sinaitic peninsula, the study of the first centuries of Christianity for +a long time claimed my attention; and in the mass of martyrology, of +ascetic writings, and of histories of saints and monks, which it was +necessary to work through and sift for my strictly limited object, I came +upon a narrative (in Cotelerius Ecclesiae Grecae Monumenta) which seemed +to me peculiar and touching notwithstanding its improbability. Sinai and +the oasis of Pharan which lies at its foot were the scene of action. + +When, in my journey through Arabia Petraea, I saw the caves of the +anchorites of Sinai with my own eyes and trod their soil with my own +feet, that story recurred to my mind and did not cease to haunt me while +I travelled on farther in the desert. + +A soul's problem of the most exceptional type seemed to me to be offered +by the simple course of this little history. + +An anchorite, falsely accused instead of another, takes his punishment +of expulsion on himself without exculpating himself, and his innocence +becomes known only through the confession of the real culprit. + +There was a peculiar fascination in imagining what the emotions of a soul +might be which could lead to such apathy, to such an annihilation of all +sensibility; and while the very deeds and thoughts of the strange cave- +dweller grew more and more vivid in my mind the figure of Paulus took +form, as it were as an example, and soon a crowd of ideas gathered round +it, growing at last to a distinct entity, which excited and urged me on +till I ventured to give it artistic expression in the form of a +narrative. I was prompted to elaborate this subject--which had long been +shaping itself to perfect conception in my mind as ripe material for a +romance--by my readings in Coptic monkish annals, to which I was led +by Abel's Coptic studies; and I afterwards received a further stimulus +from the small but weighty essay by H. Weingarten on the origin of +monasticism, in which I still study the early centuries of Christianity, +especially in Egypt. + +This is not the place in which to indicate the points on which I feel +myself obliged to differ from Weingarten. My acute fellow-laborer at +Breslau clears away much which does not deserve to remain, but in many +parts of his book he seems to me to sweep with too hard a broom. + +Easy as it would have been to lay the date of my story in the beginning +of the fortieth year of the fourth century instead of the thirtieth, I +have forborne from doing so because I feel able to prove with certainty +that at the time which I have chosen there were not only heathen recluses +in the temples of Serapis but also Christian anchorites; I fully agree +with him that the beginnings of organized Christian monasticism can in no +case be dated earlier than the year 350. + +The Paulus of my story must not be confounded with the "first hermit," +Paulus of Thebes, whom Weingarten has with good reason struck out of the +category of historical personages. He, with all the figures in this +narrative is a purely fictitious person, the vehicle for an idea, neither +more nor less. I selected no particular model for my hero, and I claim +for him no attribute but that of his having been possible at the period; +least of all did I think of Saint Anthony, who is now deprived even of +his distinguished biographer Athanasius, and who is represented as a man +of very sound judgment but of so scant an education that he was master +only of Egyptian. + +The dogmatic controversies which were already kindled at the time of my +story I have, on careful consideration, avoided mentioning. The dwellers +on Sinai and in the oasis took an eager part in them at a later date. + +That Mount Sinai to which I desire to transport the reader must not be +confounded with the mountain which lies at a long day's journey to the +south of it. It is this that has borne the name, at any rate since the +time of Justinian; the celebrated convent of the Transfiguration lies at +its foot, and it has been commonly accepted as the Sinai of Scripture. +In the description of my journey through Arabia Petraea I have endeavored +to bring fresh proof of the view, first introduced by Lepsius, that the +giant-mountain, now called Serbal, must be regarded as the mount on which +the law was given--and was indeed so regarded before the time of +Justinian--and not the Sinai of the monks. + +As regards the stone house of the Senator Petrus, with its windows +opening on the street--contrary to eastern custom--I may remark, in +anticipation of well founded doubts, that to this day wonderfully well- +preserved fire-proof walls stand in the oasis of Pharan, the remains of +a pretty large number of similar buildings. + +But these and such external details hold a quite secondary place in this +study of a soul. While in my earlier romances the scholar was compelled +to make concessions to the poet and the poet to the scholar, in this one +I have not attempted to instruct, nor sought to clothe the outcome of my +studies in forms of flesh and blood; I have aimed at absolutely nothing +but to give artistic expression to the vivid realization of an idea that +had deeply stirred my soul. The simple figures whose inmost being I have +endeavored to reveal to the reader fill the canvas of a picture where, in +the dark background, rolls the flowing ocean of the world's history. + +The Latin title was suggested to me by an often used motto which exactly +agrees with the fundamental view to which I have been led by my +meditations on the mind and being of man; even of those men who deem that +they have climbed the very highest steps of that stair which leads into +the Heavens. + +In the Heautontimorumenos of Terence, Chremes answers his neighbor +Menedemus (Act I, SC. I, v. 25) "Homo sum; humani nil a me alienum puto," +which Donner translates literally: + +"I am human, nothing that is human can I regard as alien to me." + +But Cicero and Seneca already used this line as a proverb, and in a sense +which far transcends that which it would seem to convey in context with +the passage whence it is taken; and as I coincide with them, I have +transferred it to the title-page of this book with this meaning: + +"I am a man; and I feel that I am above all else a man." + + Leipzig, November 11, 1877. + + GEORG EBERS. + + + + +HOMO SUM. + + +CHAPTER I. + +Rocks-naked, hard, red-brown rocks all round; not a bush, not a blade, +not a clinging moss such as elsewhere nature has lightly flung on the +rocky surface of the heights, as if a breath of her creative life had +softly touched the barren stone. Nothing but smooth granite, and above +it a sky as bare of cloud as the rocks are of shrubs and herbs. + +And yet in every cave of the mountain wall there moves a human life; two +small grey birds too float softly in the pure, light air of the desert +that glows in the noonday sun, and then they vanish behind a range of +cliffs, which shuts in the deep gorge as though it were a wall built by +man. + +There it is pleasant enough, for a spring bedews the stony soil and +there, as wherever any moisture touches the desert, aromatic plants +thrive, and umbrageous bushes grow. When Osiris embraced the goddess of +the desert--so runs the Egyptian myth--he left his green wreath on her +couch. + +But at the time and in the sphere where our history moves the old legends +are no longer known or are ignored. We must carry the reader back to the +beginning of the thirtieth year of the fourth century after the birth of +the Saviour, and away to the mountains of Sinai on whose sacred ground +solitary anchorites have for some few years been dwelling--men weary of +the world, and vowed to penitence, but as yet without connection or rule +among themselves. + +Near the spring in the little ravine of which we have spoken grows a +many-branched feathery palm, but it does not shelter it from the piercing +rays of the sun of those latitudes; it seems only to protect the roots of +the tree itself; still the feathered boughs are strong enough to support +a small thread-bare blue cloth, which projects like a penthouse, +screening the face of a girl who lies dreaming, stretched at full-length +on the glowing stones, while a few yellowish mountain-goats spring from +stone to stone in search of pasture as gaily as though they found the +midday heat pleasant and exhilarating. From time to time the girl seizes +the herdsman's crook that lies beside her, and calls the goats with a +hissing cry that is audible at a considerable distance. A young kid +comes dancing up to her. Few beasts can give expression to their +feelings of delight; but young goats can. + +The girl puts out her bare slim foot, and playfully pushes back the +little kid who attacks her in fun, pushes it again and again each time it +skips forward, and in so doing the shepherdess bends her toes as +gracefully as if she wished some looker-on to admire their slender form. +Once more the kid springs forward, and this time with its bead down. Its +brow touches the sole of her foot, but as it rubs its little hooked nose +tenderly against the girl's foot, she pushes it back so violently that +the little beast starts away, and ceases its game with loud bleating. + +It was just as if the girl had been waiting for the right moment to hit +the kid sharply; for the kick was a hard one-almost a cruel one. The +blue cloth hid the face of the maiden, but her eyes must surely have +sparkled brightly when she so roughly stopped the game. For a minute she +remained motionless; but the cloth, which had fallen low over her face, +waved gently to and fro, moved by her fluttering breath. She was +listening with eager attention, with passionate expectation; her +convulsively clenched toes betrayed her. + +Then a noise became audible; it came from the direction of the rough +stair of unhewn blocks, which led from the steep wall of the ravine down +to the spring. A shudder of terror passed through the tender, and not +yet fully developed limbs of the shepherdess; still she did not move; the +grey birds which were now sitting on a thorn-bush near her flew up, but +they had merely heard a noise, and could not distinguish who it was that +it announced. + +The shepherdess's ear was sharper than theirs. She heard that a man was +approaching, and well knew that one only trod with such a step. She put +out her hand for a stone that lay near her, and flung it into the spring +so that the waters immediately became troubled; then she turned on her +side, and lay as if asleep with her head on her arm. The heavy steps +became more and more distinctly audible. + +A tall youth was descending the rocky stair; by his dress he was seen to +be one of the anchorites of Sinai, for he wore nothing but a shirt-shaped +garment of coarse linen, which he seemed to have outgrown, and raw +leather sandals, which were tied on to his feet with fibrous palm-bast. + +No slave could be more poorly clothed by his owner and yet no one would +have taken him for a bondman, for he walked erect and self-possessed. He +could not be more than twenty years of age; that was evident in the young +soft hair on his upper lip, chin, and cheeks; but in his large blue eyes +there shone no light of youth, only discontent, and his lips were firmly +closed as if in defiance. + +He now stood still, and pushed back from his forehead the superabundant +and unkempt brown hair that flowed round his head like a lion's mane; +then he approached the well, and as he stooped to draw the water in the +large dried gourd-shell which he held, he observed first that the spring +was muddy, and then perceived the goats, and at last their sleeping +mistress. + +He impatiently set down the vessel and called the girl loudly, but she +did not move till he touched her somewhat roughly with his foot. Then +she sprang up as if stung by an asp, and two eyes as black as night +flashed at him out of her dark young face; the delicate nostrils of her +aquiline nose quivered, and her white teeth gleamed as she cried: + +"Am I a dog that you wake me in this fashion?" He colored, pointed +sullenly to the well and said sharply: "Your cattle have troubled the +water again; I shall have to wait here till it is clear and I can draw +some." + +"The day is long," answered the shepherdess, and while she rose she +pushed, as if by chance, another stone into the water. + +Her triumphant, flashing glance as she looked down into the troubled +spring did not escape the young man, and he exclaimed angrily: + +"He is right! You are a venomous snake--a demon of hell." + +She raised herself and made a face at him, as if she wished to show him +that she really was some horrible fiend; the unusual sharpness of her +mobile and youthful features gave her a particular facility for doing so. +And she fully attained her end, for he drew back with a look of horror, +stretched out his arms to repel her, and exclaimed as he saw her +uncontrollable laughter, + +"Back, demon, back! In the name of the Lord! I ask thee, who art +thou?" + +"I am Miriam--who else should I be?" she answered haughtily. + +He had expected a different reply, her vivacity annoyed him, and he said +angrily, "Whatever your name is you are a fiend, and I will ask Paulus to +forbid you to water your beasts at our well." + +"You might run to your nurse, and complain of me to her if you had one," +she answered, pouting her lips contemptuously at him. + +He colored; she went on boldly, and with eager play of gesture. + +"You ought to be a man, for you are strong and big, but you let yourself +be kept like a child or a miserable girl; your only business is to hunt +for roots and berries, and fetch water in that wretched thing there. I +have learned to do that ever since I was as big as that!" and she +indicated a contemptibly little measure, with the outstretched pointed +fingers of her two hands, which were not less expressively mobile than +her features. "Phoh! you are stronger and taller than all the Amalekite +lads down there, but you never try to measure yourself with them in +shooting with a bow and arrows or in throwing a spear!" + +"If I only dared as much as I wish!" he interrupted, and flaming scarlet +mounted to his face, "I would be a match for ten of those lean rascals." + +"I believe you," replied the girl, and her eager glance measured the +youth's broad breast and muscular arms with an expression of pride. +"I believe you, but why do you not dare? Are you the slave of that man +up there?" + +"He is my father and besides--" + +"What besides?" she cried, waving her hand as if to wave away a bat. +"If no bird ever flew away from the nest there would be a pretty swarm in +it. Look at my kids there--as long as they need their mother they run +about after her, but as soon as they can find their food alone they seek +it wherever they can find it, and I can tell you the yearlings there have +quite forgotten whether they sucked the yellow dam or the brown one. And +what great things does your father do for you?" + +"Silence!" interrupted the youth with excited indignation. "The evil one +speaks through thee. Get thee from me, for I dare not hear that which I +dare not utter." + +"Dare, dare, dare!" she sneered. "What do you dare then? not even to +listen!" + +"At any rate not to what you have to say, you goblin!" he exclaimed +vehemently. "Your voice is hateful to me, and if I meet you again by the +well I will drive you away with stones." + +While he spoke thus she stared speechless at him, the blood had left her +lips, and she clenched her small hands. He was about to pass her to +fetch some water, but she stepped into his path, and held him spell-bound +with the fixed gaze of her eyes. A cold chill ran through him when she +asked him with trembling lips and a smothered voice, "What harm have I +done you?" + +"Leave me!" said he, and he raised his hand to push her away from the +water. + +"You shall not touch me," she cried beside herself. "What harm have I +done you?" + +"You know nothing of God," he answered, "and he who is not of God is of +the Devil." + +"You do not say that of yourself," answered she, and her voice recovered +its tone of light mockery. "What they let you believe pulls the wires of +your tongue just as a hand pulls the strings of a puppet. Who told you +that I was of the Devil?" + +"Why should I conceal it from you?" he answered proudly. "Our pious +Paulus, warned me against you and I will thank him for it. 'The evil +one,' he says, 'looks out of your eyes,' and he is right, a thousand +times right. When you look at me I feel as if I could tread every thing +that is holy under foot; only last night again I dreamed I was whirling +in a dance with you--" + +At these words all gravity and spite vanished from Miriam's eyes; she +clapped her hands and cried, "If it had only been the fact and not a +dream! Only do not be frightened again, you fool! Do you know then what +it is when the pipes sound, and the lutes tinkle, and our feet fly round +in circles as if they had wings?" + +"The wings of Satan," Hermas interrupted sternly. "You are a demon, a +hardened heathen." + +"So says our pious Paulus," laughed the girl. + +"So say I too," cried the young man. "Who ever saw you in the +assemblies of the just? Do you pray? Do you ever praise the Lord and +our Saviour?" + +"And what should I praise them for?" asked Miriam. "Because I am +regarded as a foul fiend by the most pious among you perhaps?" + +"But it is because you are a sinner that Heaven denies you its blessing." + +"No--no, a thousand times no!" cried Miriam. "No god has ever troubled +himself about me. And if I am not good, why should I be when nothing but +evil ever has fallen to my share? Do you know who I am and how I became +so? I was wicked, perhaps, when both my parents were slain in their +pilgrimage hither? Why, I was then no more than six years old, and what +is a child of that age? But still I very well remember that there were +many camels grazing near our house, and horses too that belonged to us, +and that on a hand that often caressed me--it was my mother's hand--a +large jewel shone. I had a black slave too that obeyed me; when she and +I did not agree I used to hang on to her grey woolly hair and beat her. +Who knows what may have become of her? I did not love her, but if I had +her now, how kind I would be to her. And now for twelve years I myself +have eaten the bread of servitude, and have kept Senator Petrus's goats, +and if I ventured to show myself at a festival among the free maidens, +they would turn me out and pull the wreath out of my hair. And am I to +be thankful? What for, I wonder? And pious? What god has taken any +care of me? Call me an evil demon--call me so! But if Petrus and your +Paulus there say that He who is up above us and who let me grow up to +such a lot is good, they tell a lie. God is cruel, and it is just like +Him to put it into your heart to throw stones and scare me away from your +well." + +With these words she burst out into bitter sobs, and her features worked +with various and passionate distortion. + +Hermas felt compassion for the weeping Miriam. He had met her a hundred +times and she had shown herself now haughty, now discontented, now +exacting and now wrathful, but never before soft or sad. To-day, for the +first time, she had opened her heart to him; the tears which disfigured +her countenance gave her character a value which it had never before had +in his eyes, and when he saw her weak and unhappy he felt ashamed of his +hardness. He went up to her kindly and said: "You need not cry; come to +the well again always, I will not prevent you." + +His deep voice sounded soft and kind as he spoke, but she sobbed more +passionately than before, almost convulsively, and she tried to speak but +she could not. Trembling in every slender limb, shaken with grief, and +overwhelmed with sorrow, the slight shepherdess stood before him, and he +felt as if he must help her. His passionate pity cut him to the heart +and fettered his by no means ready tongue. + +As he could find no word of comfort, he took the water-gourd in his left +hand and laid his right, in which he had hitherto held it, gently on her +shoulder. She started, but she let him do it; he felt her warm breath; +he would have drawn back, but he felt as if he could not; he hardly knew +whether she was crying or laughing while she let his hand rest on her +black waving hair. + +She did not move. At last she raised her head, her eyes flashed into +his, and at the same instant he felt two slender arms clasped round his +neck. He felt as if a sea were roaring in his ears, and fire blazing in +his eyes. A nameless anguish seized him; he tore himself violently free, +and with a loud cry as if all the spirits of hell were after him he fled +up the steps that led from the well, and heeded not that his water-jar +was shattered into a thousand pieces against the rocky wall. + +She stood looking after him as if spell-bound. Then she struck her +slender hand against her forehead, threw herself down by the spring again +and stared into space; there she lay motionless, only her mouth continued +to twitch. + +When the shadow of the palm-tree grew longer she sprang up, called her +goats, and looked up, listening, to the rock-steps by which he had +vanished; the twilight is short in the neighborhood of the tropics, and +she knew that she would be overtaken by the darkness on the stony and +fissured road down the valley if she lingered any longer. She feared the +terrors of the night, the spirits and demons, and a thousand vague +dangers whose nature she could not have explained even to herself; and +yet she did not stir from the spot nor cease listening and waiting for +his return till the sun had disappeared behind the sacred mountain, and +the glow in the west had paled. + +All around was as still as death, she could hear herself breathe, and as +the evening chill fell she shuddered with cold. + +She now heard a loud noise above her head. A flock of wild mountain +goats, accustomed to come at this hour to quench their thirst at the +spring, came nearer and nearer, but drew back as they detected the +presence of a human being. Only the leader of the herd remained standing +on the brink of the ravine, and she knew that he was only awaiting her +departure to lead the others down to drink. Following a kindly impulse, +she was on the point of leaving to make way for the animals, when she +suddenly recollected Hermas's threat to drive her from the well, and she +angrily picked up a stone and flung it at the buck, which started and +hastily fled. The whole herd followed him. Miriam listened to them as +they scampered away, and then, with her head sunk, she led her flock +home, feeling her way in the darkness with her bare feet. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +High above the ravine where the spring was lay a level plateau of +moderate extent, and behind it rose a fissured cliff of bare, red-brown +porphyry. A vein of diorite of iron-hardness lay at its foot like a +green ribbon, and below this there opened a small round cavern, hollowed +and arched by the cunning hand of nature. In former times wild beasts, +panthers or wolves, had made it their home; it now served as a dwelling +for young Hermas and his father. + +Many similar caves were to be found in the holy Fountain, and other +anchorites had taken possession of the larger ones among them. + +That of Stephanus was exceptionally high and deep, and yet the space was +but small which divided the two beds of dried mountain herbs where, on +one, slept the father, and on the other, the son. + +It was long past midnight, but neither the younger nor the elder cave- +dweller seemed to be sleeping. Hermas groaned aloud and threw himself +vehemently from one side to the other without any consideration for the +old man who, tormented with pain and weakness, sorely needed sleep. +Stephanus meanwhile denied himself the relief of turning over or of +sighing, when he thought he perceived that his more vigorous son had +found rest. + +"What could have robbed him of his rest, the boy who usually slept so +soundly, and was so hard to waken?" + +"Whence comes it," thought Stephanus, "that the young and strong sleep so +soundly and so much, and the old, who need rest, and even the sick, sleep +so lightly and so little. Is it that wakefulness may prolong the little +term of life, of which they dread the end? How is it that man clings so +fondly to this miserable existence, and would fain slink away, and hide +himself when the angel calls and the golden gates open before him! We +are like Saul, the Hebrew, who hid himself when they came to him with the +crown! My wound burns painfully; if only I had a drink of water. If the +poor child were not so sound asleep I might ask him for the jar." + +Stephanus listened to his son and would not wake him, when he heard his +heavy and regular breathing. He curled himself up shivering under the +sheep-skin which covered only half his body, for the icy night wind now +blew through the opening of the cave, which by day was as hot as an oven. + +Some long minutes wore away; at last he thought he perceived that Hermas +had raised himself. Yes, the sleeper must have wakened, for he began to +speak, and to call on the name of God. + +The old man turned to his son and began softly, "Do you hear me, my boy?" + +"I cannot sleep," answered the youth. + +"Then give me something to drink," asked Stephanus, "my wound burns +intolerably." + +Hermas rose at once, and reached the water-jar to the sufferer. + +"Thanks, thanks, my child," said the old man, feeling for the neck of the +jar. But he could not find it, and exclaimed with surprise: "How damp +and cold it is--this is clay, and our jar was a gourd." + +"I have broken it," interrupted Hermas, "and Paulus lent me his." + +"Well, well," said Stephanus anxious for drink; he gave the jar back to +his son, and waited till he had stretched himself again on his couch. +Then he asked anxiously: "You were out a long time this evening, the +gourd is broken, and you groaned in your sleep. Whom did you meet?" + +"A demon of hell," answered Hermas. "And now the fiend pursues me into +our cave, and torments me in a variety of shapes." + +"Drive it out then and pray," said the old man gravely. "Unclean spirits +flee at the name of God." + +"I have called upon Him," sighed Hermas, "but in vain; I see women with +ruddy lips and flowing Hair, and white marble figures with rounded limbs +and flashing eyes beckon to me again and again." + +"Then take the scourge," ordered the father, "and so win peace." + +Hermas once more obediently rose, and went out into the air with the +scourge; the narrow limits of the cave did not admit of his swinging it +with all the strength of his arms. + +Very soon Stephanus heard the whistle of the leathern thongs through the +stillness of the night, their hard blows on the springy muscles of the +man and his son's painful groaning. + +At each blow the old man shrank as if it had fallen on himself. At last +he cried as loud as he was able "Enough--that is enough." + +Hermas came back into the cave, his father called him to his couch, and +desired him to join with him in prayer. + +After the 'Amen' he stroked the lad's abundant hair and said, "Since you +went to Alexandria, you have been quite another being. I would I had +withstood bishop Agapitus, and forbidden you the journey. Soon, I know, +my Saviour will call me to himself, and no one will keep you here; then +the tempter will come to you, and all the splendors of the great city, +which after all only shine like rotten wood, like shining snakes and +poisonous purple-berries--" + +"I do not care for them," interrupted Hermas, "the noisy place bewildered +and frightened me. Never, never will I tread the spot again." + +"So you have always said," replied Stephanus, "and yet the journey quite +altered you. How often before that I used to think when I heard you +laugh that the sound must surely please our Father in Heaven. And now? +You used to be like a singing bird, and now you go about silent, you look +sour and morose, and evil thoughts trouble your sleep." + +"That is my loss," answered Hermas. "Pray let go of my hand; the night +will soon be past, and you have the whole live-long day to lecture me +in." Stephanus sighed, and Hermas returned to his couch. + +Sleep avoided them both, and each knew that the other was awake, and +would willingly have spoken to him, but dissatisfaction and defiance +closed the son's lips, and the father was silent because he could not +find exactly the heart-searching words that he was seeking. + +At last it was morning, a twilight glimmer struck through the opening of +the cave, and it grew lighter and lighter in the gloomy vault; the boy +awoke and rose yawning. When he saw his father lying with his eyes open, +he asked indifferently, "Shall I stay here or go to morning worship?" + +"Let us pray here together," begged the father. "Who knows how long it +may yet be granted to us to do so? I am not far from the day that no +evening ever closes. Kneel down here, and let me kiss the image of the +Crucified." + +Hermas did as his father desired him, and as they were ending their song +of praise, a third voice joined in the 'Amen.' + +"Paulus!" cried the old man. "The Lord be praised! pray look to my +wound then. The arrow head seeks to work some way out, and it burns +fearfully." + +"The new comer, an anchorite, who for all clothing wore a shirt-shaped +coat of brown undressed linen, and a sheep-skin, examined the wound +carefully, and laid some herbs on it, murmuring meanwhile some pious +texts. + +"That is much easier," sighed the old man. "The Lord has mercy on me for +your goodness' sake." + +"My goodness? I am a vessel of wrath," replied Paulus, with a deep, +rich; sonorous voice, and his peculiarly kind blue eyes were raised to +heaven as if to attest how greatly men were deceived in him. Then he +pushed the bushy grizzled hair, which hung in disorder over his neck and +face, out of his eyes, and said cheerfully: "No man is more than man, and +many men are less. In the ark there were many beasts, but only one +Noah." + +"You are the Noah of our little ark," replied Stephanus. + +"Then this great lout here is the elephant," laughed Paulus. + +"You are no smaller than he," replied Stephanus. + +"It is a pity this stone roof is so low, else we might have measured +ourselves," said Paulus. "Aye! if Hermas and I were as pious and pure as +we are tall and strong, we should both have the key of paradise in our +pockets. You were scourging yourself this night, boy; I heard the blows. +It is well; if the sinful flesh revolts, thus we may subdue it." + +"He groaned heavily and could not sleep," said Stephanus. + +"Aye, did he indeed!" cried Paulus to the youth, and held his powerful +arms out towards him with clenched fists; but the threatening voice was +loud rather than terrible, and wild as the exceptionally big man looked +in his sheepskin, there was such irresistible kindliness in his gaze and +in his voice, that no one could have believed that his wrath was in +earnest. + +"Fiends of hell had met him," said Stephanus in excuse for his son, "and +I should not have closed an eye even without his groaning; it is the +fifth night." + +"But in the sixth," said Paulus, "sleep is absolutely necessary. Put on +your sheep-skin, Hermas; you must go down to the oasis to the Senator +Petrus, and fetch a good sleeping-draught for our sick man from him or +from Dame Dorothea, the deaconess. Just look! the youngster has really +thought of his father's breakfast--one's own stomach is a good reminder. +Only put the bread and the water down here by the couch; while you are +gone I will fetch some fresh--now, come with me." + +"Wait a minute, wait," cried Stephanus. "Bring a new jar with you from +the town, my son. You lent us yours yesterday, Paulus, and I must--" + +"I should soon have forgotten it," interrupted the other. "I have to +thank the careless fellow, for I have now for the first time discovered +the right way to drink, as long as one is well and able. I would not +have the jar back for a measure of gold; water has no relish unless you +drink it out of the hollow of your hand! The shard is yours. I should +be warring against my own welfare, if I required it back. God be +praised! the craftiest thief can now rob me of nothing save my +sheepskin." + +Stephanus would have thanked him, but he took Hermas by the hand, and led +him out into the open air. For some time the two men walked in silence +over the clefts and boulders up the mountain side. When they had reached +a plateau, which lay on the road that led from the sea over the mountain +into the oasis, he turned to the youth, and said: + +"If we always considered all the results of our actions there would be no +sins committed." + +Hermas looked at him enquiringly, and Paulus went on, "If it had occurred +to you to think how sorely your poor father needed sleep, you would have +lain still this night." + +"I could not," said the youth sullenly. "And you know very well that I +scourged myself hard enough." + +"That was quite right, for you deserved a flogging for a misconducted +boy." + +Hermas looked defiantly at his reproving friend, the flaming color +mounted to his cheek: for he remembered the shepherdess's words that he +might go and complain to his nurse, and he cried out angrily: + +"I will not let any one speak to me so; I am no longer a child." + +"Not even your father's?" asked Paulus, and he looked at the boy with +such an astonished and enquiring air, that Hermas turned away his eyes in +confusion. + +"It is not right at any rate to trouble the last remnant of life of that +very man who longs to live for your sake only." + +"I should have been very willing to be still, for I love my father as +well as any one else." + +"You do not beat him," replied Paulus, "you carry him bread and water, +and do not drink up the wine yourself, which the Bishop sends him home +from the Lord's supper; that is something certainly, but not enough by a +long way." + +"I am no saint!" + +"Nor I neither," exclaimed Paulus, "I am full of sin and weakness. But I +know what the love is which was taught us by the Saviour, and that you +too may know. He suffered on the cross for you, and for me, and for all +the poor and vile. Love is at once the easiest and the most difficult of +attainments. It requires sacrifice. And you? How long is it now since +you last showed your father a cheerful countenance?" + +"I cannot be a hypocrite." + +"Nor need you, but you must love. Certainly it is not by what his hand +does but by what his heart cheerfully offers, and by what he forces +himself to give up that a man proves his love." + +"And is it no sacrifice that I waste all my youth here?" asked the boy. + +Paulus stepped back from him a little way, shook his matted head, and +said, "Is that it? You are thinking of Alexandria! Ay! no doubt life +runs away much quicker there than on our solitary mountain. You do not +fancy the tawny shepherd girl, but perhaps some pretty pink and white +Greek maiden down there has looked into your eyes?" + +"Let me alone about the women," answered Hermas, with genuine annoyance. +"There are other things to look at there." + +The youth's eyes sparkled as he spoke, and Paulus asked, not without +interest, "Indeed?" + +"You know Alexandria better than I," answered Hermas evasively. +"You were born there, and they say you had been a rich young man." + +"Do they say so?" said Paulus. "Perhaps they are right; but you must +know that I am glad that nothing any longer belongs to me of all the +vanities that I possessed, and I thank my Saviour that I can now turn my +back on the turmoil of men. What was it that seemed to you so +particularly tempting in all that whirl?" + +Hermas hesitated. He feared to speak, and yet something urged and drove +him to say out all that was stirring his soul. If any one of all those +grave men who despised the world and among whom he had grown up, could +ever understand him, he knew well that it would be Paulus; Paulus whose +rough beard he had pulled when he was little, on whose shoulders he had +often sat, and who had proved to him a thousand times how truly he loved +him. It is true the Alexandrian was the severest of them all, but he was +harsh only to himself. Hermas must once for all unburden his heart, and +with sudden decision he asked the anchorite: + +"Did you often visit the baths?" + +"Often? I only wonder that I did not melt away and fall to pieces in the +warm water like a wheaten loaf." + +"Why do you laugh at that which makes men beautiful?" cried Hermas +hastily. "Why may Christians even visit the baths in Alexandria, while +we up here, you and my father and all anchorites, only use water to +quench our thirst? You compel me to live like one of you, and I do not +like being a dirty beast." + +"None can see us but the Most High," answered Paulus, "and for him we +cleanse and beautify our souls." + +"But the Lord gave us our body too," interrupted Hermas. "It is written +that man is the image of God. And we! I appeared to myself as repulsive +as a hideous ape when at the great baths by the Gate of the Sun I saw the +youths and men with beautifully arranged and scented hair and smooth +limbs that shone with cleanliness and purification. And as they went +past, and I looked at my mangy sheepfell, and thought of my wild mane and +my arms and feet, which are no worse formed or weaker than theirs were, +I turned hot and cold, and I felt as if some bitter drink were choking +me. I should have liked to howl out with shame and envy and vexation. +I will not be like a monster!" + +Hermas ground his teeth as he spoke the last words, and Paulus looked +uneasily at him as he went on: "My body is God's as much as my soul is, +and what is allowed to the Christians in the city--" + +"That we nevertheless may not do," Paulus interrupted gravely. "He who +has once devoted himself to Heaven must detach himself wholly from the +charm of life, and break one tie after another that binds him to the +dust. I too once upon a time have anointed this body, and smoothed this +rough hair, and rejoiced sincerely over my mirror; but I say to you, +Hermas--and, by my dear Saviour, I say it only because I feel it, deep in +my heart I feel it--to pray is better than to bathe, and I, a poor +wretch, have been favored with hours in which my spirit has struggled +free, and has been permitted to share as an honored guest in the festal +joys of Heaven!" + +While he spoke, his wide open eyes had turned towards Heaven and had +acquired a wondrous brightness. For a short time the two stood opposite +each other silent and motionless; at last the anchorite pushed the hair +from off his brow, which was now for the first time visible. It was +well-formed, though somewhat narrow, and its clear fairness formed a +sharp contrast to his sunburnt face. + +"Boy," he said with a deep breath, "you know not what joys you would +sacrifice for the sake of worthless things. Long ere the Lord, calls the +pious man to Heaven, the pious has brought Heaven down to earth in +himself." + +Hermas well understood what the anchorite meant, for his father often for +hours at a time gazed up into Heaven in prayer, neither seeing nor +hearing what was going on around him, and was wont to relate to his son, +when he awoke from his ecstatic vision, that he had seen the Lord or +heard the angel-choir. + +He himself had never succeeded in bringing himself into such a state, +although Stephanus had often compelled him to remain on his knees praying +with him for many interminable hours. It often happened that the old +man's feeble flame of life had threatened to become altogether extinct +after these deeply soul-stirring exercises, and Hermas would gladly have +forbidden him giving himself up to such hurtful emotions, for he loved +his father; but they were looked upon as special manifestations of grace, +and how should a son dare to express his aversion to such peculiarly +sacred acts? But to Paulus and in his present mood he found courage to +speak out. + +"I have sure hope of Paradise," he said, "but it will be first opened +to us after death. The Christian should be patient; why can you not wait +for Heaven till the Saviour calls you, instead of desiring to enjoy its +pleasures here on earth? This first and that after! Why Should God have +bestowed on us the gifts of the flesh if not that we may use them? +Beauty and strength are not empty trifles, and none but a fool gives +noble gifts to another, only in order to throw them away." + +Paulus gazed in astonishment at the youth, who up to this moment had +always unresistingly obeyed his father and him, and he shook his head as +he answered, + +"So think the children of this world who stand far from the Most High. +In the image of God are we made no doubt, but what child would kiss the +image of his father, when the father offers him his own living lips?" + +Paulus had meant to say 'mother' instead of 'father,' but he remembered +in time that Hermas had early lost the happiness of caressing a mother, +and he had hastily amended the phrase. He was one of those to whom it is +so painful to hurt another, that they never touch a wounded soul unless +to heal it, divining the seat of even the most hidden pain. + +He was accustomed to speak but little, but now he went on eagerly: + +"By so much as God is far above our miserable selves, by so much is the +contemplation of Him worthier of the Christian than that of his own +person. Oh! who is indeed so happy as to have wholly lost that self and +to be perfectly absorbed in God! But it pursues us, and when the soul +fondly thinks itself already blended in union with the Most High it cries +out 'Here am I!' and drags our nobler part down again into the dust. It +is bad enough that we must hinder the flight of the soul, and are forced +to nourish and strengthen the perishable part of our being with bread and +water and slothful sleep to the injury of the immortal part, however much +we may fast and watch. And shall we indulge the flesh, to the detriment +of the spirit, by granting it any of its demands that can easily be +denied? Only he who despises and sacrifices his wretched self can, when +he has lost his baser self by the Redeemer's grace, find himself again in +God." + +Hermas had listened patiently to the anchorite, but he now shook his +head, and said: "I cannot under stand either you or my father. So long +as I walk on this earth, I am I and no other. After death, no doubt, but +not till then, will a new and eternal life begin" + +"Not so," cried Paulus hastily, interrupting him. "That other and higher +life of which you speak, does not begin only after death for him who +while still living does not cease from dying, from mortifying the flesh, +and from subduing its lusts, from casting from him the world and his +baser self, and from seeking the Lord. It has been vouchsafed to many +even in the midst of life to be born again to a higher existence. Look +at me, the basest of the base. I am not two but one, and yet am I in the +sight of the Lord as certainly another man than I was before grace found +me, as this young shoot, which has grown from the roots of an overthrown +palmtree is another tree than the rotten trunk. I was a heathen and +enjoyed every pleasure of the earth to the utmost; then I became a +Christian; the grace of the Lord fell upon me, and I was born again, and +became a child again; but this time--the Redeemer be praised!--the child +of the Lord. In the midst of life I died, I rose again, I found the joys +of Heaven. I had been Menander, and like unto Saul, I became Paulus. +All that Menander loved--baths, feasts, theatres, horses and chariots, +games in the arena, anointed limbs, roses and garlands, purple-garments, +wine and the love of women--lie behind me like some foul bog out of which +a traveller has struggled with difficulty. Not a vein of the old man +survives in the new, and a new life has begun for me, mid-way to the +grave; nor for me only, but for all pious men. For you too the hour will +sound, in which you will die to--" + +"If only I, like you, had been a Menander," cried Hermas, sharply +interrupting the speaker: "How is it possible to cast away that which I +never possessed? In order to die one first must live. This wretched +life seems to me contemptible, and I am weary of running after you like a +calf after a cow. I am free-born, and of noble race, my father himself +has told me so, and I am certainly no feebler in body than the citizens' +sons in the town with whom I went from the baths to the wrestling- +school." + +"Did you go to the Palaestra?" asked Paulus in surprise. + +"To the wrestling-school of Timagetus," cried Hermas, coloring. "From +outside the gate I watched the games of the youths as they wrestled, and +threw heavy disks at a mark. My eyes almost sprang out of my head at the +sight, and I could have cried out aloud with envy and vexation, at having +to stand there in my ragged sheep-skin excluded from all competition. If +Pachomius had not just then come up, by the Lord I must have sprung into +the arena, and have challenged the strongest of them all to wrestle with +me, and I could have thrown the disk much farther than the scented puppy +who won the victory and was crowned." + +"You may thank, Pachomius," said Paulus laughing, "for having hindered +you, for you would have earned nothing in the arena but mockery and +disgrace. You are strong enough, certainly, but the art of the +discobolus must be learned like any other. Hercules himself would be +beaten at that game without practice, and if he did not know the right +way to handle the disk." + +"It would not have been the first time I had thrown one," cried the boy. +"See, what I can do!" With these words he stooped and raised one of the +flat stones, which lay piled up to secure the pathway; extending his arm +with all his strength, he flung the granite disk over the precipice away +into the abyss. + +"There, you see," cried Paulus, who had watched the throw carefully and +not without some anxious excitement. "However strong your arm may be, +any novice could throw farther than you if only he knew the art of +holding the discus. It is not so--not so; it must cut through the air +like a knife with its sharp edge. Look how you hold your hand, you throw +like a woman! The wrist straight, and now your left foot behind, and +your knee bent! see, how clumsy you are! Here, give me the stone. You +take the discus so, then you bend your body, and press down your knees +like the arc of a bow, so that every sinew in your body helps to speed +the shot when you let go. Aye--that is better, but it is not quite right +yet. First heave the discus with your arm stretched out, then fix your +eye on the mark; now swing it out high behind you--stop! once more! your +arm must be more strongly strained before you throw. That might pass, +but you ought to be able to hit the palm-tree yonder. Give me your +discus, and that stone. There; the unequal corners hinder its flight-- +now pay attention!" Paulus spoke with growing eagerness, and now he +grasped the flat stone, as he might have done many years since when no +youth in Alexandria had been his match in throwing the discus. + +He bent his knees, stretched out his body, gave play to his wrist, +extended his arm to the utmost and hurled the stone into space, while the +clenched toes of his right foot deeply dinted the soil. + +But it fell to the ground before reaching which Paulus had indicated as +the mark. + +"Wait!" cried Hermas. "Let me try now to hit the tree." + +His stone whistled through the air, but it did not even reach the mound, +into which the palm-tree had struck root. + +Paulus shook his head disapprovingly, and in his, turn seized a flat +stone; and now an eager contest began. At every throw Hermas' stone flew +farther, for he copied his teacher's action and grasp with increasing +skill, while the older man's arm began to tire. At last Hermas for the +second time hit the palm-tree, while Paulus had failed to reach even the +mound with his last fling. + +The pleasure of the contest took stronger possession of the anchorite; +he flung his raiment from him, and seizing another stone he cried out-- +as though he were standing once more in the wrestling school among his +old companions; all shining with their anointment. + +"By the silver-bowed Apollo, and the arrow-speeding Artemis, I will hit +the palm-tree." + +The missile sang through the air, his body sprang back, and he stretched +out his left arm to save his tottering balance; there was a crash, the +tree quivered under the blow, and Hermas shouted joyfully: "Wonderful! +wonderful! that was indeed a throw. The old Menander is not dead! +Farewell--to-morrow we will try again." + +With these words Hermas quitted the anchorite, and hastened with wide +leaps down the hill in the oasis. Paulus started at the words like a +sleep-walker who is suddenly wakened by hearing his name called. He +looked about him in bewilderment, as if he had to find his way in some +strange world. Drops of sweat stood on his brow, and with sudden shame +he snatched up his garments that were lying on the ground, and covered +his naked limbs. + +For some time he stood gazing after Hermas, then he clasped his brow in +deep anguish and large tears ran down upon his beard. + +"What have I said?" he muttered to himself; "That every vein of the old +man in me was extirpated? Fool! vain madman that I am. They named me +Paulus, and I am in truth Saul, aye, and worse than Saul!" + +With these words he threw himself on his knees, pressing his forehead +against the hard rock, and began to pray. He felt as if he had been +flung from a height on to spears and lances, as if his heart and soul +were bleeding, and while he remained there, dissolved in grief and +prayer, accusing and condemning himself, he felt not the burning of the +sun as it mounted in the sky, heeded not the flight of time, nor heard +the approach of a party of pilgrims, who, under the guidance of bishop +Agapitus, were visiting the Holy Places. The palmers saw him at prayer, +heard his sobs, and, marvelling at his piety, at a sign from their pastor +they knelt down behind him. + +When Paulus at last arose, he perceived with surprise and alarm the +witnesses of his devotions, and approached Agapitus to kiss his robe. +But the bishop said: "Not so; he that is most pious is the greatest among +us. My friends, let us bow down before this saintly man!" + +The pilgrims obeyed his command. Paulus hid his face in his hands and +sobbed out: "Wretch, wretch that I am!" + +And the pilgrims lauded his humility, and followed their leader who left +the spot. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +Hermas had hastened onwards without delay. He had already reached the +last bend of the path he had followed down the ravine, and he saw at his +feet the long narrow valley and the gleaming waters of the stream, which +here fertilized the soil of the desert. He looked down on lofty palms +and tamarisk shrubs innumerable, among which rose the houses of the +inhabitants, surrounded by their little gardens and small carefully- +irrigated fields; already he could hear the crowing of a cock and the +hospitable barking of a dog, sounds which came to him like a welcome from +the midst of that life for which he yearned, accustomed as he was to be +surrounded day and night by the deep and lonely stillness of the rocky +heights. + +He stayed his steps, and his eyes followed the thin columns of smoke, +which floated tremulously up in the clear light of the ever mounting sun +from the numerous hearths that lay below him. + +"They are cooking breakfast now," thought he, "the wives for their +husbands, the mothers for their children, and there, where that dark +smoke rises, very likely a splendid feast is being prepared for guests; +but I am nowhere at home, and no one will invite me in." The contest +with Paulus had excited and cheered him, but the sight of the city filled +his young heart with renewed bitterness, and his lips trembled as he +looked down on his sheepskin and his unwashed limbs. With hasty resolve +he turned his back on the oasis and hurried up the mountain. By the side +of the brooklet that he knew of he threw off his coarse garment, let the +cool water flow over his body, washed himself carefully and with much +enjoyment, stroked clown his thick hair with his fingers, and then +hurried down again into the valley. + +The gorge through which he had descended debouched by a hillock that rose +from the valley-plain; a small newly-built church leaned against its +eastern declivity, and it was fortified on all sides by walls and dikes, +behind which the citizens found shelter when they were threatened by the +Saracen robbers of the oasis. This hill passed for a particularly sacred +spot. Moses was supposed to have prayed on its summit during the battle +with the Amalekites while his arms were held up by Aaron and Hur. + +But there were other notable spots in the neighborhood of the oasis. +There farther to the north was the rock whence Moses had struck the +water; there higher up, and more to the south-east, was the hill, where +the Lord had spoken to the law-giver face to face, and where he had seen +the burning bush; there again was the spring where he had met the +daughters of Jethro, Zippora and Ledja, so called in the legend. Pious +pilgrims came to these holy places in great numbers, and among them many +natives of the peninsula, particularly Nabateans, who had previously +visited the holy mountain in order to sacrifice on its summit to their +gods, the sun, moon, and planets. At the outlet, towards the north, +stood a castle, which ever since the Syrian Prefect, Cornelius Palma, had +subdued Arabia Petraea in the time of Trajan, had been held by a Roman +garrison for the protection of the blooming city of the desert against +the incursions of the marauding Saracens and Blemmyes. + +But the citizens of Pharan themselves had taken measures for the security +of their property. On the topmost cliffs of the jagged crown of the +giant mountain--the most favorable spots for a look-out far and wide-- +they placed sentinels, who day and night scanned the distance, so as to +give a warning-signal in case of approaching clanger. Each house +resembled a citadel, for it was built of strong masonry, and the younger +men were all well exercised bowmen. The more distinguished families +dwelt near the church-hill, and there too stood the houses of the Bishop +Agapitus, and of the city councillors of Pharan. + +Among these the Senator Petrus enjoyed the greatest respect, partly by +reason of his solid abilities, and of his possessions in quarries, +garden-ground, date palms, and cattle; partly in consequence of the rare +qualities of his wife, the deaconess Dorothea, the granddaughter of the +long-deceased and venerable Bishop Chaeremon, who had fled hither with +his wife during the persecution of the Christians under Decius, and who +had converted many of the Pharanites to the knowledge of the Redeemer. + +The house of Petrus was of strong and well-joined stone, and the palm +garden adjoining was carefully tended. Twenty slaves, many camels, and +even two horses belonged to him, and the centurion in command of the +Imperial garrison, the Gaul Phoebicius, and his wife Sirona, lived as +lodgers under his roof; not quite to the satisfaction of the councillor, +for the centurion was no Christian, but a worshipper of Mithras, in whose +mysteries the wild Gaul had risen to the grade of a 'Lion,' whence his +people, and with them the Pharanites in general, were wont to speak of +him as "the Lion." + +His predecessor had been an officer of much lower rank but a believing +Christian, whom Petrus had himself requested to live in his house, and +when, about a year since, the Lion Phoebicius had taken the place of the +pious Pankratius, the senator could not refuse him the quarters, which +had become a right. + +Hermas went shyly and timidly towards the court of Petrus' house, and his +embarrassment increased when he found himself in the hall of the stately +stone-house, which he had entered without let or hindrance, and did not +know which way to turn. There was no one there to direct him, and he +dared not go up the stairs which led to the upper story, although it +seemed that Petrus must be there. Yes, there was no doubt, for he heard +talking overhead and clearly distinguished the senator's deep voice. +Hermas advanced, and set his foot on the first step of the stairs; but he +had scarcely begun to go up with some decision, and feeling ashamed of +his bashfulness, when he heard a door fly open just above him, and from +it there poured a flood of fresh laughing children's voices, like a pent +up stream when the miller opens the sluice gate. + +He glanced upwards in surprise, but there was no time for consideration, +for the shouting troop of released little ones had already reached the +stairs. In front of all hastened a beautiful young woman with golden +hair; she was laughing gaily, and held a gaudily-dressed doll high above +her head. She came backwards towards the steps, turning her fair face +beaming with fun and delight towards the children, who, full of their +longing, half demanding, half begging, half laughing, half crying, +shouted in confusion, "Let us be, Sirona," "Do not take it away again, +Sirona," "Do stay here, Sirona," again and again, "Sirona--Sirona." + +A lovely six year old maiden stretched up as far as she could to reach +the round white arm that held the play-thing; with her left hand, which +was free, she gaily pushed away three smaller children, who tried to +cling to her knees and exclaimed, still stepping backwards, "No, no; you +shall not have it till it has a new gown; it shall be as long and as gay +as the Emperors's robe. Let me go, Caecilia, or you will fall down as +naughty Nikon did the other day." + +By this time she had reached the steps; she turned suddenly, and with +outstretched arms she stopped the way of the narrow stair on which Hermas +was standing, gazing open-mouthed at the merry scene above his head. +Just as Sirona was preparing to run down, she perceived him and started; +but when she saw that the anchorite from pure embarrassment could find no +words in which to answer her question as to what he wanted, she laughed +heartily again and called out: "Come up, we shall not hurt you--shall we +children?" + +Meanwhile Hermas had found courage enough to give utterance to his wish +to speak with the senator, and the young woman, who looked with +complacency on his strong and youthful frame, offered to conduct him to +him. + +Petrus had been talking to his grown up elder sons; they were tall men, +but their father was even taller than they, and of unusual breadth of +shoulder. + +While the young men were speaking, he stroked his short grey beard and +looked down at the ground in sombre gravity, as it might have seemed to +the careless observer; but any one who looked closer might quickly +perceive that not seldom a pleased smile, though not less often a +somewhat bitter one, played upon the lips of the prudent and judicious +man. He was one of those who can play with their children like a young +mother, take the sorrows of another as much to heart as if they were +their own, and yet who look so gloomy, and allow themselves to make such +sharp speeches, that only those who are on terms of perfect confidence +with them, cease to misunderstand them and fear them. There was +something fretting the soul of this man, who nevertheless possessed all +that could contribute to human happiness. His was a thankful nature, +and yet he was conscious that he might have been destined to something +greater than fate had permitted him to achieve or to be. He had remained +a stone-cutter, but his sons had both completed their education in good +schools in Alexandria. The elder, Antonius, who already had a house of +his own and a wife and children, was an architect and artist-mechanic; +the younger, Polykarp, was a gifted young sculptor. The noble church of +the oasis-city had been built under the direction of the elder; Polykarp, +who had only come home a month since, was preparing to establish and +carry on works of great extent in his father's quarries, for he had +received a commission to decorate the new court of the Sebasteion or +Caesareum, as it was called--a grand pile in Alexandria--with twenty +granite lions. More than thirty artists had competed with him for this +work, but the prize was unanimously adjudged to his models by qualified +judges. The architect whose function it was to construct the colonnades +and pavement of the court was his friend, and had agreed to procure the +blocks of granite, the flags and the columns which he required from +Petrus' quarries, and not, as had formerly been the custom, from those +of Syene by the first Cataract. + +Antonius and Polykarp were now standing with their father before a large +table, explaining to him a plan which they had worked out together and +traced on the thin wax surface of a wooden tablet. The young architect's +proposal was to bridge over a deep but narrow gorge, which the beasts of +burden were obliged to avoid by making a wide circuit, and so to make a +new way from the quarries to the sea, which should be shorter by a third +than the old one. The cost of this structure would soon be recouped by +the saving in labor, and with perfect certainty, if only the transport- +ships were laden at Clysma with a profitable return freight of +Alexandrian manufactures, instead of returning empty as they had hitherto +done. Petrus, who could shine as a speaker in the council-meetings, in +private life spoke but little. At each of his son's new projects he +raised his eyes to the speaker's face, as if to see whether the young man +had not lost his wits, while his mouth, only half hidden by his grey +beard, smiled approvingly. + +When Antonius began to unfold his plan for remedying the inconvenience of +the ravine that impeded the way, the senator muttered, "Only get feathers +to grow on the slaves, and turn the black ones into ravens and the white +ones into gulls, and then they might fly across. What do not people +learn in the metropolis!" + +When he heard the word 'bridge' he stared at the young artist. "The only +question," said he, "is whether Heaven will lend us a rainbow." But when +Polykarp proposed to get some cedar trunks from Syria through his friend +in Alexandria, and when his elder son explained his drawings of the arch +with which he promised to span the gorge and make it strong and safe, he +followed their words with attention; at the same time he knit his +eyebrows as gloomily and looked as stern as if he were listening to some +narrative of crime. Still, he let them speak on to the end, and though +at first he only muttered that it was mere "fancy-work" or "Aye, indeed, +if I were the emperor;" he afterwards asked clear and precise questions, +to which he received positive and well considered answers. Antonius +proved by figures that the profit on the delivery of material for the +Caesareum only would cover more than three quarters of the outlay. +Then Polykarp began to speak and declared that the granite of the Holy +Mountain was finer in color and in larger blocks than that from Syene. + +"We work cheaper here than at the Cataract," interrupted Antonius. +"And the transport of the blocks will not come too dear when we have the +bridge and command the road to the sea, and avail ourselves of the canal +of Trajan, which joins the Nile to the Red Sea, and which in a few months +will again be navigable." + +"And if my lions are a success," added Polykarp, "and if Zenodotus is +satisfied with our stone and our work, it may easily happen that we +outstrip Syene in competition, and that some of the enormous orders +that now flow from Constantine's new residence to the quarries at Syene, +may find their way to us." + +"Polykarp is not over sanguine," continued Antonius, "for the emperor is +beautifying and adding to Byzantium with eager haste. Whoever erects a +new house has a yearly allowance of corn, and in order to attract folks +of our stamp--of whom he cannot get enough--he promises entire exemption +from taxation to all sculptors, architects, and even to skilled laborers. +If we finish the blocks and pillars here exactly to the designs, they +will take up no superfluous room in the ships, and no one will be able to +deliver them so cheaply as we." + +"No, nor so good," cried Polykarp, "for you yourself are an artist, +father, and understand stone-work as well as any man. I never saw a +finer or more equally colored granite than the block you picked out for +my first lion. I am finishing it here on the spot, and I fancy it will +make a show. Certainly it will be difficult to take a foremost place +among the noble works of the most splendid period of art, which already +fill the Caesareum, but I will do my best." + +"The Lions will be admirable," cried Antonius with a glance of pride at +his brother. "Nothing like them has been done by any one these ten +years, and I know the Alexandrians. If the master's work is praised that +is made out of granite from the Holy Mountain, all the world will have +granite from thence and from no where else. It all depends on whether +the transport of the stone to the sea can be made less difficult and +costly." + +"Let us try it then," said Petrus, who during his son's talk had walked +up and down before them in silence. "Let us try the building of the +bridge in the name of the Lord. We will work out the road if the +municipality will declare themselves ready to bear half the cost; not +otherwise, and I tell you frankly, you have both grown most able men." + +The younger son grasped his father's hand and pressed it with warm +affection to his lips. Petrus hastily stroked his brown locks, then he +offered his strong right hand to his eldest-born and said: We must +increase the number of our slaves. Call your mother, Polykarp." The +youth obeyed with cheerful alacrity, and when Dame Dorothea--who was +sitting at the loom with her daughter Marthana and some of her female +slaves--saw him rush into the women's room with a glowing face, she rose +with youthful briskness in spite of her stout and dignified figure, and +called out to her son: + +"He has approved of your plans?" + +"Bridge and all, mother, everything," cried the young man. "Finer +granite for my lions, than my father has picked out for me is nowhere to +be found, and how glad I am for Antonius! only we must have patience +about the roadway. He wants to speak to you at once." + +Dorothea signed to her son to moderate his ecstasy, for he had seized her +hand, and was pulling her away with him, but the tears that stood in her +kind eyes testified how deeply she sympathized in her favorite's +excitement. + +"Patience, patience, I am coming directly," cried she, drawing away her +hand in order to arrange her dress and her grey hair, which was abundant +and carefully dressed, and formed a meet setting for her still pleasing +and unwrinkled face. + +"I knew it would be so; when you have a reasonable thing to propose to +your father, he will always listen to you and agree with you without my +intervention; women should not mix themselves up with men's work. Youth +draws a strong bow and often shoots beyond the mark. It would be a +pretty thing if out of foolish affection for you I were to try to play +the siren that should ensnare the steersman of the house--your father-- +with flattering words. You laugh at the grey-haired siren? But love +overlooks the ravages of years and has a good memory for all that was +once pleasing. Besides, men have not always wax in their ears when they +should have. Come now to your father." + +Dorothea went out past Polykarp and her daughter. The former held his +sister back by the hand and asked--"Was not Sirona with you?" + +The sculptor tried to appear quite indifferent, but he blushed as he +spoke; Marthana observed this and replied not without a roguish glance: +"She did show us her pretty face; but important business called her +away." + +"Sirona?" asked Polykarp incredulously. + +"Certainly, why not!" answered Marthana laughing. "She had to sew a new +gown for the children's doll." + +"Why do you mock at her kindness?" said Polykarp reproachfully. + +"How sensitive you are!" said Marthana softly. "Sirona is as kind and +sweet as an angel; but you had better look at her rather less, for she is +not one of us, and repulsive as the choleric centurion is to me--" + +She said no more, for Dame Dorothea, having reached the door of the +sitting-room, looked around for her children. + +Petrus received his wife with no less gravity than was usual with him, +but there was an arch sparkle in his half closed eyes as he asked: "You +scarcely know what is going on, I suppose?" + +"You are madmen, who would fain take Heaven by storm," she answered +gaily. + +"If the undertaking fails," said Petrus, pointing to his sons, "those +young ones will feel the loss longer than we shall." + +"But it will succeed," cried Dorothea. "An old commander and young +soldiers can win any battle." She held out her small plump hand with +frank briskness to her husband, he clasped it cheerily and said: "I think +I can carry the project for the road through the Senate. To build our +bridge we must also procure helping hands, and for that we need your aid, +Dorothea. Our slaves will not suffice." + +"Wait," cried the lady eagerly; she went to the window and called, +"Jethro, Jethro!" + +The person thus addressed, the old house-steward, appeared, and Dorothea +began to discuss with him as to which of the inhabitants of the oasis +might be disposed to let them have some able-bodied men, and whether it +might not be possible to employ one or another of the house-slaves at the +building. + +All that she said was judicious and precise, and showed that she herself +superintended her household in every detail, and was accustomed to +command with complete freedom. + +"That tall Anubis then is really indispensable in the stable?" she asked +in conclusion. The steward, who up to this moment had spoken shortly and +intelligently, hesitated to answer; at the same time he looked up at +Petrus, who, sunk in the contemplation of the plan, had his back to him; +his glance, and a deprecating movement, expressed very clearly that he +had something to tell, but feared to speak in the presence of his master. +Dame Dorothea was quick of comprehension, and she quite understood +Jethro's meaning; it was for that very reason that she said with more of +surprise than displeasure: "What does the man mean with his winks? What +I may hear, Petrus may hear too." + +The senator turned, and looked at the steward from head to foot with so +dark a glance, that he drew back, and began to speak quickly. But he was +interrupted by the children's clamors on the stairs and by Sirona, who +brought Hermas to the senator, and said laughing: "I found this great +fellow on the stairs, he was seeking you." + +"Petrus looked at the youth, not very kindly, and asked: "Who are you? +what is your business?" Hermas struggled in vain for speech; the +presence of so many human beings, of whom three were women, filled him +with the utmost confusion. His fingers twisted the woolly curls on his +sheep-skin, and his lips moved but gave no sound; at last he succeeded in +stammering out, "I am the son of old Stephanus, who was wounded in the +last raid of the Saracens. My father has hardly slept these five nights, +and now Paulus has sent me to you--the pious Paulus of Alexandria--but +you know--and so I--" + +"I see, I see," said Petrus with encouraging kindness. "You want some +medicine for the old man. See Dorothea, what a fine young fellow he is +grown, this is the little man that the Antiochian took with him up the +mountain." + +Hermas colored, and drew himself up; then he observed with great +satisfaction that he was taller than the senator's sons, who were of +about the same age as he, and for whom he had a stronger feeling, allied +to aversion and fear, than even for their stern father. Polykarp +measured him with a glance, and said aloud to Sirona, with whom he had +exchanged a greeting, are off whom he had never once taken his eyes since +she had come in: If we could get twenty slaves with such shoulders as +those, we should get on well. There is work to be done here, you big +fellow--" + +"My name is not 'fellow,' but Hermas," said the anchorite, and the veins +of his forehead began to swell Polykarp felt that his father's visitor +was something more than his poor clothing would seem to indicate and that +he had hurt his feelings. He had certainly seen some old anchorites, who +led a contemplative and penitential life up on the sacred mountain, but +it had never occurred to him that a strong youth could be long to the +brotherhood of hermits. So he said to him kindly: "Hermas--is that your +name? We all use our hands here and labor is no disgrace; what is your +handicraft?" + +This question roused the young anchorite to the highest excitement, and +Dame Dorothea, who perceives what was passing in his mind, said with +quick decision: "He nurses his sick father. That is what you do, my son +is it not? Petrus will not refuse you his help." + +"Certainly not," the senator added, "I will accompany you by-and-bye to +see him. You must know my children, that this youth's father was a great +Lord, who gave up rich possessions in order to forget the world, where he +had gone through bitter experiences, and to serve God in his own way, +which we ought to respect though it is not our own. Sit down there, my +son. First we must finish some important business, and then I will go +with you." + +"We live high up on the mountain," stammered Hermas. + +"Then the air will be all the purer," replied the senator. "But stay-- +perhaps the old man is alone no? The good Paulus, you say, is with him? +Then he is in good hands, and you may wait." + +For a moment Petrus stood considering, then he beckoned to his sons, and +said, "Antonius, go at once and see about some slaves--you, Polykarp, +find some strong beasts of burden. You are generally rather easy with +your money, and in this case it is worth while to buy the dearest. The +sooner you return well supplied the better. Action must not halt behind +decision, but follow it quickly and sharply, as the sound follows the +blow. You, Marthana, mix some of the brown fever-potion, and prepare +some bandages; you have the key." + +"I will help her," cried Sirona, who was glad to prove herself useful, +and who was sincerely sorry for the sick old hermit; besides, Hermas +seemed to her like a discovery of her own, for whom she involuntarily +felt more consideration since she had learned that he was the son of a +man of rank. + +While the young women were busy at the medicine-cupboard, Antonius and +Polykarp left the room. + +The latter had already crossed the threshold, when he turned once more, +and cast a long look at Sirona. Then, with a hasty movement, he went on, +closed the door, and with a heavy sigh descended the stairs. + +As soon as his sons were gone, Petrus turned to the steward again. + +"What is wrong with the slave Anubis?" he asked. + +"He is--wounded, hurt," answered Jethro, "and for the next few days will +be useless. The goat-girl Miriam--the wild cat--cut his forehead with +her reaping hook." + +"Why did I not hear of this sooner?" cried Dorothea reprovingly. "What +have you done to the girl?" + +"We have shut her up in the hay loft," answered Jethro, "and there she is +raging and storming." + +The mistress shook her head disapprovingly. "The girl will not be +improved by that treatment," she said. "Go and bring her to me." + +As soon as the intendant had left the room, she exclaimed, turning to her +husband, "One may well be perplexed about these poor creatures, when one +sees how they behave to each other. I have seen it a thousand times! No +judgment is so hard as that dealt by a slave to slaves!" + +Jethro and a woman now led Miriam into the room. The girl's hands were +bound with thick cords, and dry grass clung to her dress and rough black +hair. A dark fire glowed in her eyes, and the muscles of her face moved +incessantly, as if she had St. Vitus' dance. When Dorothea looked at her +she drew herself up defiantly, and looked around the room, as if to +estimate the strength of her enemies. + +She then perceived Hermas; the blood left her lips, with a violent effort +she tore her slender hands out of the loops that confined them, covering +her face with them, and fled to the door. But Jethro put himself in her +way, and seized her shoulder with a strong grasp. Miriam shrieked aloud, +and the senator's daughter, who had set down the medicines she had had +in her hand, and had watched the girl's movements with much sympathy, +hastened towards her. She pushed away the old man's hand, and said, +"Do not be frightened, Miriam. Whatever you may have done, my father +can forgive you." + +Her voice had a tone of sisterly affection, and the shepherdess followed +Marthana unresistingly to the table, on which the plans for the bridge +were lying, and stood there by her side. + +For a minute all were silent; at last Dame Dorothea went up to Miriam, +and asked, "What did they do to you, my poor child, that you could so +forget yourself?" + +Miriam could not understand what was happening to her; she had been +prepared for scoldings and blows, nay for bonds and imprisonment, and now +these gentle words and kind looks! Her defiant spirit was quelled, her +eyes met the friendly eyes of her mistress, and she said in a low voice: +"he had followed me for such a long time, and wanted to ask you for me +as his wife; but I cannot bear him--I hate him as I do all your slaves." +At these words her eyes sparkled wildly again, and with her old fire she +went on, "I wish I had only hit him with a stick instead of a sickle; but +I took what first came to hand to defend myself. When a man touches me-- +I cannot bear it, it is horrible, dreadful! Yesterday I came home later +than usual with the beasts, and by the time I had milked the goats, and +was going to bed, every one in the house was asleep. Then Anubis met me, +and began chattering about love; I repelled him, but he seized me, and +held me with his hand here on my head and wanted to kiss me; then my +blood rose, I caught hold of my reaping hook, that hung by my side, and +it was not till I saw him roaring on the ground, that I saw I had done +wrong. How it happened I really cannot tell--something seemed to rise up +in me--something--I don't know what to call it. It drives me on as the +wind drives the leaves that lie on the road, and I cannot help it. The +best thing you can do is to let me die, for then you would be safe once +for all from my wickedness, and all would be over and done with." + +"How can you speak so?" interrupted Marthana. "You are wild and +ungovernable, but not wicked." + +"Only ask him!" cried the girl, pointing with flashing eyes to Hermas, +who, on his part, looked down a the floor in confusion. The senator +exchanged a hasty glance with his wife, they were accustomed to under +stand each other without speech, and Dorothea said: "He who feels that +he is not what he ought to be is already on the high-road to amendment. +We let you keep the goats because you were always running after the +flocks, and never can rest in the house. You are up on the mountain +before morning-prayer, and never come home till after supper is over, and +no one takes any thought for the better part of you. Half of your guilt +recoils upon us, and we have no right to punish you. You need not be so +astonished; every one some times does wrong. Petrus and I are human +beings like you, neither more nor less; but we are Christians, and it is +our duty to look after the souls which God has entrusted to our care, be +they our children or our slaves. You must go no more up the mountain, +but shall stay with us in the house. I shall willingly forgive your +hasty deed if Petrus does not think it necessary to punish you." + +The senator gravely shook his head in sign of agreement, and Dorothea +turned to enquire of Jethro: "Is Anubis badly wounded and does he need +any care?' + +"He is lying in a fever and wanders in his talk, was the answer. "Old +Praxinoa is cooling his wound with water." + +"Then Miriam can take her place and try to remedy the mischief which she +was the cause of," said Dorothea. "Half of your guilt will be atoned for, +girl, if Anubis recovers under your care. I will come presently with +Marthana, and show you how to make a bandage." The shepherdess cast down +her eyes, and passively allowed herself to be conducted to the wounded +man. + +Meanwhile Marthana had prepared the brown mixture. Petrus had his staff +and felt-hat brought to him, gave Hermas the medicine and desired him to +follow him. + +Sirona looked after the couple as they went. "What a pity for such a +fine lad!" she exclaimed. "A purple coat would suit him better than that +wretched sheepskin." + +The mistress shrugged her shoulders, and signing to her daughter said: +"Come to work, Marthana, the sun is already high. How the days fly! +the older one grows the quicker the hours hurry away." + +"I must be very young then," said the centurion's wife, "for in this +wilderness time seems to me to creep along frightfully slow. One day is +the same as another, and I often feel as if life were standing perfectly +still, and my heart pulses with it. What should I be without your house +and the children?--always the same mountain, the same palm-trees, the +same faces!--" + +"But the mountain is glorious, the trees are beautiful!" answered +Dorothea. "And if we love the people with whom we are in daily +intercourse, even here we may be contented and happy. At least we +ourselves are, so far as the difficulties of life allow. I have often +told you, what you want is work." + +"Work! but for whom?" asked Sirona. "If indeed I had children like you! +Even in Rome I was not happy, far from it; and yet there was plenty to do +and to think about. Here a procession, there a theatre; but here! And +for whom should I dress even? My jewels grow dull in my chest, and the +moths eat my best clothes. I am making doll's clothes now of my colored +cloak for your little ones. If some demon were to transform me into a +hedge-hog or a grey owl, it would be all the same to me." + +"Do not be so sinful," said Dorothea gravely, but looking with kindly +admiration at the golden hair and lovely sweet face of the young woman. +"It ought to be a pleasure to you to dress yourself for your husband." + +"For him?" said Sirona. "He never looks at me, or if he does it is only +to abuse me. The only wonder to me is that I can still be merry at all; +nor am I, except in your house, and not there even but when I forget him +altogether." + +"I will not hear such things said--not another word," interrupted +Dorothea severely. "Take the linen and cooling lotion, Marthana, we will +go and bind up Anubis' wound." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Petrus went up the mountain side with Hermas. The old man followed the +youth, who showed him the way, and as he raised his eyes from time to +time, he glanced with admiration at his guide's broad shoulders and +elastic limbs. The road grew broader when it reached a little mountain +plateau, and from thence the two men walked on side by side, but for some +time without speaking till the senator asked: "How long now has your +father lived up on the mountain?" + +"Many years," answered Hermas. "But I do not know how many--and it is +all one. No one enquires about time up here among us." + +The senator stood still a moment and measured his companion with a +glance. + +"You have been with your father ever since he came?" he asked. + +"He never lets me out of his sight;" replied Hermas. "I have been only +twice into the oasis, even to go to the church." + +"Then you have been to no school?" + +"To what school should I go! My father has taught me to read the Gospels +and I could write, but I have nearly forgotten how. Of what use would it +be to me? We live like praying beasts." + +Deep bitterness sounded in the last words, and Petrus could see into +the troubled spirit of his companion, overflowing as it was with weary +disgust, and he perceived how the active powers of youth revolted in +aversion against the slothful waste of life, to which he was condemned. +He was grieved for the boy, and he was not one of those who pass by those +in peril without helping them. Then he thought of his own sons, who had +grown up in the exercise and fulfilment of serious duties, and he owned +to himself that the fine young fellow by his side was in no way their +inferior, and needed nothing but to be guided aright. He thoughtfully +looked first at the youth and then on the ground, and muttered +unintelligible words into his grey beard as they walked on. Suddenly he +drew himself up and nodded decisively; he would make an attempt to save +Hermas, and faithful to his own nature, action trod on the heels of +resolve. Where the little level ended the road divided, one path +continued to lead upwards, the other deviated to the valley and ended at +the quarries. Petrus was for taking the latter, but Hermas cried out, +"That is not the way to our cave; you must follow me." + +"Follow thou me!" replied the senator, and the words were spoken with a +tone and expression, that left no doubt in the youth's mind as to their +double meaning. "The day is yet before us, and we will see what my +laborers are doing. Do you know the spot where they quarry the stone?" + +"How should I not know it?" said Hermas, passing the senator to lead the +way. "I know every path from our mountain to the oasis, and to the sea. +A panther had its lair in the ravine behind your quarries." + +"So we have learnt," said Petrus. "The thievish beasts have slaughtered +two young camels, and the people can neither catch them in their toils +nor run them down with dogs." + +"They will leave you in peace now," said the boy laughing. "I brought +down the male from the rock up there with an arrow, and I found the +mother in a hollow with her young ones. I had a harder job with her; +my knife is so bad, and the copper blade bent with the blow; I had to +strangle the gaudy devil with my hands, and she tore my shoulder and bit +my arm. Look! there are the scars. But thank God, my wounds heal +quicker than my father's. Paulus says, I am like an, earth-worm; when it +is cut in two the two halves say good-bye to each other, and crawl off +sound and gay, one way, and the other another way. The young panthers +were so funny and helpless, I would not kill them, but I did them up in +my sheepskin, and brought them to my father. He laughed at the little +beggars, and then a Nabataean took them to be sold at Clysma to a +merchant from Rome. There and at Byzantium, there is a demand for all +kinds of living beasts of prey. I got some money for them, and for +the skins of the old ones, and kept it to pay for my journey, when I +went with the others to Alexandria to ask the blessing of the new +Patriarch." + +"You went to the metropolis?" asked Petrus. "You saw the great +structures, that secure the coast from the inroads of the sea, the tall +Pharos with the far-shining fire, the strong bridges, the churches, the +palaces and temples with their obelisks, pillars, and beautiful paved +courts? Did it never enter your mind to think that it would be a proud +thing to construct such buildings?" + +Hermas shook his head. "Certainly I would rather live in an airy house +with colonnades than in our dingy cavern, but building would never be in +my way. What a long time it takes to put one stone on another! I am not +patient, and when I leave my father I will do something that shall win me +fame. But there are the quarries--" Petrus did not let his companion +finish his sentence, but interrupted him with all the warmth of youth, +exclaiming: "And do you mean to say that fame cannot be won by the arts +of building? Look there at the blocks and flags, here at the pillars of +hard stone. These are all to be sent to Aila, and there my son Antonius, +the elder of the two that you saw just now, is going to build a House of +God, with strong walls and pillars, much larger and handsomer than our +church in the oasis, and that is his work too. He is not much older than +you are, and already he is famous among the people far and wide. Out of +those red blocks down there my younger son Polykarp will hew noble lions, +which are destined to decorate the finest building in the capital itself. +When you and I, and all that are now living, shall have been long since +forgotten, still it will be said these are the work of the Master +Polykarp, the son of Petrus, the Pharanite. What he can do is certainly +a thing peculiar to himself, no one who is not one of the chosen and +gifted ones can say, 'I will learn to do that.' But you have a sound +understanding, strong hands and open eyes, and who can tell what else +there is hidden in you. If you could begin to learn soon, it would not +yet be too late to make a worthy master of you, but of course he who +would rise so high must not be afraid of work. Is your mind set upon +fame? That is quite right, and I am very glad of it; but you must know +that he who would gather that rare fruit must water it, as a noble +heathen once said, with the sweat of his brow. Without trouble and labor +and struggles there can be no victory, and men rarely earn fame without +fighting for victory." + +The old man's vehemence was contagious; the lad's spirit was roused, and +he exclaimed warmly: "What do you say? that I am afraid of struggles and +trouble? I am ready to stake everything, even my life, only to win fame. +But to measure stone, to batter defenceless blocks with a mallet and +chisel, or to join the squares with accurate pains--that does not tempt +me. I should like to win the wreath in the Palaestra by flinging the +strongest to the ground, or surpass all others as a warrior in battle; my +father was a soldier too, and he may talk as much as he will of 'peace,' +and nothing but 'peace,' all the same in his dreams he speaks of bloody +strife and burning wounds. If you only cure him I will stay no longer on +this lonely mountain, even if I must steal away in secret. For what did +God give me these arms, if not to use them?" + +Petrus made no answer to these words, which came is a stormy flood from +Hermas' lips, but he stroked his grey beard, and thought to himself, +"The young of the eagle does not catch flies. I shall never win over +this soldier's son to our peaceful handicraft, but he shall not remain on +the mountain among these queer sluggards, for there he is being ruined, +and yet he is not of a common sort." + +When he had given a few orders to the overseer of his workmen, he +followed the young man to see his suffering father. + +It was now some hours since Hermas and Paulus had left the wounded +anchorite, and he still lay alone in his cave. The sun, as it rose +higher and higher, blazed down upon the rocks, which began to radiate +their heat, and the hermit's dwelling was suffocatingly hot. The pain of +the poor man's wound increased, his fever was greater, and he was very +thirsty. There stood the jug, which Paulus had given him, but it was +long since empty, and neither Paulus nor Hermas had come back. He +listened anxiously to the sounds in the distance, and fancied at first +that he heard the Alexandrian's footstep, and then that he heard loud +words and suppressed groans coming from his cave. Stephanus tried to +call out, but he himself could hardly hear the feeble sound, which, with +his wounded breast and parched mouth, he succeeded in uttering. Then +he fain would have prayed, but fearful mental anguish disturbed his +devotion. All the horrors of desertion came upon him, and he who had +lived a life overflowing with action and enjoyment, with disenchantment +and satiety, who now in solitude carried on an incessant spiritual +struggle for the highest goal--this man felt himself as disconsolate +and lonely as a bewildered child that has lost its mother. + +He lay on his bed of pain softly crying, and when he observed by the +shadow of the rock that the sun had passed its noonday height, +indignation and bitter feeling were added to pain, thirst and weariness. +He doubled his fists and muttered words which sounded like soldier's +oaths, and with them the name now of Paulus, now of his son. At last +anguish gained the upperhand of his anger, and it seemed to him, as +though he were living over again the most miserable hour of his life, +an hour now long since past and gone. + +He thought he was returning from a noisy banquet in the palace of the +Caesars. His slaves had taken the garlands of roses and poplar leaves +from his brow and breast, and robed him in his night-dress; now, with a +silver lamp in his hand, he was approaching his bedroom, and he smiled, +for his young wife was awaiting him, the mother of his Hermas. She was +fair and he loved her well, and he had brought home witty sayings to +repeat to her from the table of the emperor. He, if any one, had a right +to smile. Now he was in the ante-room, in which two slave-women were +accustomed to keep watch; he found only one, and she was sleeping and +breathing deeply; he still smiled as he threw the light upon her face-- +how stupid she looked with her mouth open! An alabaster lamp shed a dim +light in the bed-room, softly and still smiling he went up to Glycera's +ivory couch, and held up his lamp, and stared at the empty and +undisturbed bed--and the smile faded from his lips. The smile of that +evening came back to him no more through all the long years, for Glycera +had betrayed him, and left him--him and her child. All this had happened +twenty years since, and to-day all that he had then felt had returned to +him, and he saw his wife's empty couch with his "mind's eye," as plainly +as he had then seen it, and he felt as lonely and as miserable as in that +night. But now a shadow appeared before the opening of the cave, and he +breathed a deep sigh as he felt himself released from the hideous vision, +for he had recognized Paulus, who came up and knelt down beside him. + +"Water, water!" Stephanus implored in a low voice, and Paulus, who was +cut to the heart by the moaning of the old man, which he had not heard +till he entered the cave, seized the pitcher. He looked into it, and, +finding it quite dry, he rushed down to the spring as if he were running +for a wager, filled it to the brim and brought it to the lips of the sick +man, who gulped the grateful drink down with deep draughts, and at last +exclaimed with a sigh of relief; "That is better; why were you so long +away? I was so thirsty!" Paulus who had fallen again on his knees by +the old man, pressed his brow against the couch, and made no reply. +Stephanus gazed in astonishment at his companion, but perceiving that he +was weeping passionately he asked no further questions. Perfect +stillness reigned in the cave for about an hour; at last Paulus raised +his face, and said, "Forgive me Stephanus. I forgot your necessity in +prayer and scourging, in order to recover the peace of mind I had trifled +away--no heathen would have done such a thing!" The sick man stroked his +friend's arm affectionately; but Paulus murmured, "Egoism, miserable +egoism guides and governs us. Which of us ever thinks of the needs of +others? And we--we who profess to walk in the way of the Lamb!" + +He sighed deeply, and leaned his head on the sick man's breast, who +lovingly stroked his rough hair, and it was thus that the senator found +him, when he entered the cave with Hermas. + +The idle way of life of the anchorites was wholly repulsive to his views +of the task for men and for Christians, but he succored those whom he +could, and made no enquiries about the condition of the sufferer. The +pathetic union in which he found the two men touched his heart, and, +turning to Paulus, he said kindly: "I can leave you in perfect comfort, +for you seem to me to have a faithful nurse." + +The Alexandrian reddened; he shook his head, and replied: "I? I thought +of no one but myself, and left him to suffer and thirst in neglect, but +now I will not quit him--no, indeed, I will not, and by God's help and +yours, he shall recover." + +Petrus gave him a friendly nod, for he did not believe in the anchorite's +self-accusation, though he did in his good-will; and before he left the +cave, he desired Hermas to come to him early on the following day to give +him news of his father's state. He wished not only to cure Stephanus, +but to continue his relations with the youth, who had excited his +interest in the highest degree, and he had resolved to help him to escape +from the inactive life which was weighing upon him. + +Paulus declined to share the simple supper that the father and son were +eating, but expressed his intention of remaining with the sick man. He +desired Hermas to pass the night in his dwelling, as the scanty limits of +the cave left but narrow room for the lad. + +A new life had this day dawned upon the young man; all the grievances and +desires which had filled his soul ever since his journey to Alexandria, +crowding together in dull confusion, had taken form and color, and he +knew now that he could not remain an anchorite, but must try his over +abundant strength in real life. + +"My father," thought he, "was a warrior, and lived in a palace, before he +retired into our dingy cave; Paulus was Menander, and to this day has not +forgotten how to throw the discus; I am young, strong, and free-born as +they were, and Petrus says, I might have been a fine man. I will not hew +and chisel stones like his sons, but Caesar needs soldiers, and among all +the Amalekites, nay among the Romans in the oasis, I saw none with whom I +might not match myself." + +While thus he thought he stretched his limbs, and struck his hands on his +broad breast, and when he was asleep, he dreamed of the wrestling school, +and of a purple robe that Paulus held out to him, of a wreath of poplar +leaves that rested on his scented curls, and of the beautiful woman who +had met him on the stairs of the senator's house. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Action trod on the heels of resolve +Homo sum; humani nil a me alienum puto +I am human, nothing that is human can I regard as alien to me +Love is at once the easiest and the most difficult +Love overlooks the ravages of years and has a good memory +No judgment is so hard as that dealt by a slave to slaves +No man is more than man, and many men are less +Sky as bare of cloud as the rocks are of shrubs and herbs +Sleep avoided them both, and each knew that the other was awake +The older one grows the quicker the hours hurry away +To pray is better than to bathe +Wakefulness may prolong the little term of life + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOMO SUM, BY GEORG EBERS, V1 *** + +******** This file should be named 5494.txt or 5494.zip ********* + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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