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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87283e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #52393 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52393) diff --git a/old/52393-0.txt b/old/52393-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 8648ca8..0000000 --- a/old/52393-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5097 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures in Wallypug-Land, by G. E. Farrow - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Adventures in Wallypug-Land - -Author: G. E. Farrow - -Illustrator: Alan Wright - -Release Date: June 22, 2016 [EBook #52393] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND *** - - - - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, David Edwards and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -book was produced from scanned images of public domain -material from the Google Books project.) - - - - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES: - -—Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected. - -—Bold text has been rendered ad =bold text=. - - -[Illustration: So soon as we got into the street, we met the Turtle and -the Pelican, walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette.—Page -151. - _Wallypugland._] - - - - - ADVENTURES IN - - WALLYPUG-LAND - - BY G. E. FARROW - - AUTHOR OF “THE WALLYPUG OF WHY,” “THE WALLYPUG IN - LONDON,” ETC. - - _WITH FIFTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIONS BY ALAN WRIGHT_ - - A. L. BURT COMPANY, PUBLISHERS, - 52-58 DUANE STREET, NEW YORK. - - - - - DEDICATED - TO - LIONEL - - - - - ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND. - - -[Illustration] - -PREFACE. - - - MY DEAR LITTLE FRIENDS, - -I have again to thank you for the many kind and delightful letters -which I have received from all parts of the world, and I cannot tell -you how happy I am to find that I have succeeded so well in pleasing -you with my stories. - -What am I to say to the little boy who wrote, and begged “that, if the -Wallypug came to stay with me again, would I please invite him too?” or -to the other dear little fellow who came to me with tears in his eyes, -to tell me that some superior grown-up person had informed him that -“there never was a Wallypug, and it was all just a pack of nonsense”; -that “Girlie never went to Why at all, and that in fact there was no -such place in existence”? - -I can only regretfully admit that, sooner or later as we grow up to -be men and women, there are bound to be many fond illusions which -are one by one ruthlessly dispelled, and that many of the dreams and -thoughts which, in our younger days, we cherish most dearly, the hard, -matter-of-fact world will always persist in describing as “a pack of -nonsense.” However, for many of us fortunately, this tiresome time has -not yet arrived, and for the present we will refuse to give up our poor -dear Wallypug—for whom I declare I have as great an affection and -regard, as the most enthusiastic of my young readers. - -You will see that in the following story I have described my own -experiences during a recent visit to the remarkable land over which -His Majesty reigns as a “kind of king”, and I may tell you that, -amongst all of the extraordinary creatures that I met there, there -was not one who expressed the slightest doubt as to the reality of -what was happening; while for my own part, I should as soon think of -doubting the existence of the fairies themselves, as of the simple, -kind-hearted, little Wallypug. - -There now! I hope that I have given quite a clear and lucid -explanation, and one which will prevent you from being made unhappy -by any doubts which may arise in your mind as to the possibility, or -probability, of this story. Please don’t forget to write to me again -during the coming year. - - Believing me to be as ever, - - Your affectionate Friend, - - G. E. FARROW. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - - ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND. - - CHAP. PAGE - - I. How I Went to Why 13 - - II. A Strange Welcome 29 - - III. A Terrible Night 40 - - IV. Late for Breakfast 50 - - V. The Trial 62 - - VI. His Majesty is Deposed 74 - - VII. Foiled 83 - - VIII. The Little Blue People 94 - - IX. The Wallypug Recovers his Crown 103 - - X. The Home of Ho-Lor 116 - - XI. The Why and Wer-Har-Wei Railway 131 - - XII. Back Again at Why 145 - - XIII. A New State of Affairs 155 - - XIV. “Good for the Complexion” 165 - - XV. “Wallypug’s Blush Limited” 175 - - XVI. “Au Revoir” 187 - - - THE BLUE DWARFS 197 - - -[Illustration: Adventures in Wallypug-Land] - - -[Illustration: MR. NOBODY.] - - - - -CHAPTER I. - -HOW I WENT TO WHY. - - -FOR some time past I have been the guest of his Majesty the Wallypug at -his palace in the mysterious kingdom of Why—a country so remarkable -that even now I am only just beginning to get used to my strange -surroundings and stranger neighbors. Imagine, if you can, a place -where all of the animals not only talk, but take an active part in -the government of the land, a place where one is as likely as not -to receive an invitation to an evening party from an ostrich, or is -expected to escort an elderly rhinoceros in to dinner; where it is -quite an everyday occurrence to be called upon by a hen with a brood of -young chickens just as you are sitting down to tea, and be expected to -take a lively interest in her account of how the youngest chick passed -through its latest attack of the “pip.” - -In such a country, the unexpected is always happening, and I am -continually being startled in the streets at being addressed by some -dangerous-looking quadruped, or an impertinent bird, for I must say -that as a class the birds are the most insolent of all the inhabitants -of this strange land. There is in particular one old crow, a most -objectionable personage, and a cockatoo who is really the most violent -and ill-natured bird that I have ever been acquainted with. - -She takes a very active interest in Parliamentary affairs, and is a -strong supporter of woman’s wrongs. - -“Every woman has her wrongs,” she declares, “and if she hasn’t she -ought to have.” - -You will naturally wish to know how I reached this strange country, -and will, no doubt, be surprised when I tell you how the journey was -accomplished. - -One morning a few weeks since, I received a letter from his Majesty -the Wallypug asking me to visit him at his palace at Why, in order -to assist him in establishing some of our social customs and methods -of government, which he had so greatly admired during his visit to -England, and which he was desirous of imitating in his own land. A -little packet was enclosed in the letter, bearing the words, “The -shortest way to Why. This side up with _anxiety_.” “Well,” I thought, -“I suppose they mean ‘This side up with _care_,’” and was proceeding -very carefully to open the packet when a gust of wind rushed in at the -window, and blowing open the paper wrapper, scattered the contents—a -little white powder—in all directions. Some particles flew up into -my eyes, and caused them to smart so violently that I was obliged to -close them for some time till the pain had gone, and when I opened them -again, what do you think? I was no longer in my study at home, but out -on a kind of heath in the brilliant sunshine, and apparently miles from -a house of any kind. A finger-post stood a little way in front of me, -and I could see that three roads met just here. Anxiously I hurried up -to the post to see where I was. One arm pointed, “To Nowhere.” “And -I certainly don’t want to go there,” I thought; the other one was -inscribed, “To Somewhere,” which was decidedly a little better, but the -third one said, “To Everywhere Else.” - -[Illustration: “THAT’S NOT MUCH USE.”] - -“And, good gracious me,” I thought, “that’s not much use, for I don’t -know in the least now which of the last two roads to take.” I was -puzzling my brain as to what was the best thing to be done, when -I happened to look down the road leading to “Nowhere,” and saw a -curious-looking little person running towards me. He had an enormous -head, and apparently his arms and legs were attached to it, for I could -see no trace of a body. He was flourishing something in his hand as he -ran along, and as soon as he came closer I discovered that it was his -card which he handed to me with a polite bow and an extensive smile, as -soon as he got near enough to do so. - - “_MR. NOBODY,_ - _No. 1 NONESUCH-STREET,_ - _NOWHERE,_” - -is what I read. - -The little man was still smiling and bowing, so I held out my hand and -said: - -“How do you do, sir? I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. -Perhaps you can be good enough to tell me—” - -The little man nodded violently. - -“To tell me where I am,” I continued. - -Mr. Nobody looked very wise, and after a few moments’ thought smiled -and nodded more violently than ever, and simply pointed his finger at -me. - -“Yes, yes,” I cried, rather impatiently; “of course I know that I’m -here, but what I want to know is, what place is this?” - -The little fellow knitted his brows, and looked very thoughtful, and -finally staring at me sorrowfully, he slowly shook his head. - -“You don’t know?” I inquired. - -He shook his head again. - -“Dear me, this is very sad; the poor man is evidently dumb,” I said, -half aloud. - -Mr. Nobody must have heard me, for he nodded violently, then resuming -his former smile, he bowed again, and turning on his heels ran back in -the direction of Nowhere, stopping every now and then to turn around -and nod and smile and wave his hand. - -“What a remarkable little person,” I was just saying, when I heard a -voice above my head calling out: - -“Man! man!” - -I looked up and saw a large crow perched on the finger-post. He had a -newspaper in one claw, and was gravely regarding me over the tops of -his spectacles. - -“Well! what are you staring at?” he remarked as soon as he caught my -eye. - -“Well, really,” I began. - -“Haven’t you ever seen a crow before?” he interrupted. - -“Of course I have,” I answered rather angrily, for my surprise at -hearing him talk was fast giving way to indignation at his insolent -tone and manner. - -“Very well, then, what do you want to stand there gaping at me in -that absurd way for?” said the bird. “What did he say to you?” he -continued, jerking his head in the direction in which Mr. Nobody had -disappeared. - -“Nothing,” I replied. - -“Very well, then, what was it?” he asked. - -“What do you mean?” said I. - -“Why, stupid, you said Nobody and nothing, didn’t you, and as two -negatives make an affirmative that means he must have said something.” - -“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” I said. - -“Ignorant ostrich!” remarked the crow contemptuously. - -“Look here,” I cried, getting very indignant, “I will not be spoken to -like that by a mere bird!” - -“Oh, really! Who do you think you are, pray, you ridiculous biped? -Where’s your hat?” - -I was too indignant to answer, and though I should have liked to have -asked the name of the place I was at, I determined not to hold any -further conversation with the insolent bird, and walked away in the -direction of “Somewhere,” pursued by the sound of mocking laughter from -the crow. - -[Illustration: “WHERE’S YOUR HAT?”] - -I had not gone far, however, before I perceived a curious kind of -carriage coming towards me. It was a sort of rickshaw, and was drawn -by a kangaroo, who was jerking it along behind him. A large ape sat -inside, hugging a carpet bag, and holding on to the dashboard with his -toes. - -“Let’s pass him with withering contempt,” I heard one of them say. - -“All right,” was the reply. “Drive on.” - -“I say, Man,” called out the Ape, as they passed, “we’re not taking the -slightest notice of you.” - -“Oh, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure I don’t care,” I replied rather crossly. - -The Kangaroo stopped and stared at me in amazement, and the Ape got out -of the rickshaw and came towards me, looking very indignant. - -“Do you know who I am?” he asked, striking an attitude. - -“No, I don’t,” I replied, “and what’s more, I don’t care.” - -“But I’m a person of consequence,” he gasped. - -“You are only an ape or a monkey,” I said firmly. - -“Oh! I can clearly see that you don’t know me,” remarked the Ape -pityingly. “I’m Oom Hi.” - -“Indeed,” I said unconcernedly. “I am afraid I’ve never heard of you.” - -“Never heard of Oom Hi,” cried the Ape. “Why, I am the inventor of -Broncho.” - -“What’s that?” I asked. “Good gracious! what ignorance,” said the Ape; -“here, go and fetch my bag,” he whispered to the Kangaroo, who ran back -to the rickshaw and returned with the carpet bag. - -“This,” continued Oom Hi, taking out a bottle, “is the article; it is -called ‘Broncho,’ and is excellent for coughs, colds, and affections -of the throat; you will notice that each bottle bears a label stating -that the mixture is prepared according to my own formula, and bears -my signature; none other is genuine without it. The Wallypug, when he -returned from England and heard that I had invented it, declared that I -must be a literary genius.” - -[Illustration: “There,” continued Oom Hi, taking out the bottle, “is -the article; it is called ‘Broncho.’”—Page 24. - _Wallypugland._] - -“A what!” I exclaimed. - -“A literary genius,” repeated the Ape, smirking complacently. - -“Why, what on earth has cough mixture to do with literature?” I -inquired. - -“I don’t know, I’m sure,” admitted Oom Hi, “but the Wallypug said that -in England any one who invented anything of that sort was supposed to -possess great literary talent.” - -“The Wallypug!” I exclaimed, suddenly remembering. “Am I anywhere near -his Kingdom of Why, then?” - -“Of course you are; it’s only about a mile or two down the road. Are -you going there?” inquired Oom Hi. - -“Well, yes,” I answered. “I’ve had an invitation from his Majesty, and -should rather like to go there, as I’m so near.” - -“His Majesty; he—he—he, that’s good,” laughed the Kangaroo. “Do you -call the Wallypug ‘his Majesty’?” he asked. - -“Of course,” I replied, “he is a king, isn’t he?” - -“A _kind_ of king,” corrected Oom Hi. “You don’t catch us calling him -‘your Majesty,’ I can tell you though, one animal is as good as another -here, and if anything, a little better. If you are going to Why, we may -as well go back with you, and give you a lift in the rickshaw.” - -“You’re very kind,” I said, gratefully. - -“Not at all, not at all; jump in,” said Oom Hi. - -“Hold on a moment,” said the Kangaroo. “It’s _his_ turn to pull, you -know.” - -“Of course, of course,” said the Ape, getting into the vehicle; “put -him in the shafts!” - -“What do you mean?” I expostulated. - -“Your turn to pull the rickshaw, you know; we always take turns, and -as I have been dragging it for some time it’s your turn now.” - -“But I’m not going to pull that thing with you two animals in it. I -never heard of such a thing,” I declared. - -“Who are you calling an animal?” demanded the Kangaroo, sulkily. -“You’re one yourself, aren’t you?” - -“Well, I suppose I am,” I admitted. “But I’m not going to draw that -thing, all the same.” - -“Oh, get in, get in; don’t make a fuss. I suppose I shall have to take -a turn myself,” said Oom Hi, grasping the handles, and the Kangaroo and -myself having taken our seats we were soon traveling down the road. The -Kangaroo turned out to be a very pleasant companion after all, and when -he found out that I came from England told me all about his brother, -who was a professional boxer, and had been to London and made his -fortune as the Boxing Kangaroo. He was quite delighted when I told him -that I had seen notices of his performance in the papers. We soon came -in sight of a walled city, which Oom Hi, turning around, informed me -was Why. And on reaching the gate he gave the rickshaw in charge of an -old turtle, who came waddling up, and each of the animals taking one of -my arms, I was led in triumph through the city gates to the Wallypug’s -palace, several creatures, including a motherly-looking goose and -a little gosling, taking a lively interest in my progress, while a -giraffe in a very high collar craned his neck through a port-hole to -try and get a glimpse of us as we passed under the portcullis. - - - - -CHAPTER II. - -A STRANGE WELCOME. - - -[Illustration: GOOD BYE!] - -WE soon reached the Wallypug’s palace, which stood in a large park in -the center of the city of Why. I had been very interested in noticing -the curious architecture in the streets as we passed along, but was -scarcely prepared to find the palace such a very remarkable place. It -was a long, low, rambling building, built in a most singular style, -with all sorts of curious towers and gables at every point. - -Oom Hi and the Kangaroo saw me as far as the entrance, and then took -their departure, saying that they would see me again another day, and I -walked up the stone steps, to what I imagined to be the principal door, -alone. To my great surprise, however, I found that, instead of being -the way in, it was nothing more or less than a huge jam-pot, with a -very large label on it marked “Strawberry Jam,” while above it were -the words, “When is a door not a door?” “When is a door not a door?” I -repeated, vaguely conscious of having heard the question before. - -[Illustration: “SOLD AGAIN! SERVE YOU RIGHT!”] - -“Ha—ha—ha,” laughed a mocking voice at the bottom of the steps, and -looking down I saw an enormous Cockatoo with a Paisley shawl over her -shoulders and walking with the aid of a crutched stick. - -“Sold again, were you? Serve you right,” she cried. “When is a door not -a door? Pooh! fancy not knowing that old chestnut. Why! when it’s a -jar, of course, stupid. Bah!” - -“It’s a very absurd practical joke, that’s all that I can say,” I -remarked, crossly, walking down the steps again. “Perhaps you can tell -me how I am going to get into this remarkable place.” - -“Humph! Perhaps I can and perhaps I won’t,” said the Cockatoo. “I dare -say it’s a better place than you came from, anyhow. You’re not the -first man that has come down here with his superior airs and graces, -grumbling and finding fault with this, that, and the other; but we’ll -soon take the conceit out of you, I can tell you. Where’s your hat?” - -This was the second creature that had asked me this question, and -really they threw so much scorn and contempt into the inquiry that one -would imagine that it was a most disgraceful offense to be without a -head covering. - -I thought the most dignified thing to do under the circumstances was to -take no further notice of the bird, and was quietly walking away when -the Cockatoo screamed out again, “Where’s your hat? Where’s your hat? -Where’s your hat?” each time louder and louder, till the last inquiry -ended in a perfect shriek. - -“Don’t be so ridiculous,” I cried. “I’ve left it at home, if you must -know.” - -“Down with the hatters!” screamed the Cockatoo irrelevantly, “Down -with the Wallypug! Down with men without hats! Down with everybody and -everything!” and the wretched bird danced about like a demented fury. - -At the sound of all this commotion a number of windows in the upper -stories of the palace were thrown open, and curious heads were popped -out to see what was the matter. Among them and immediately over my -head, I noticed the Doctor-in-Law. - -“Oh! it’s you, is it, kicking up all this fuss?” he remarked as soon as -he recognized me. - -“Well, really!” I replied, “I think you might have the politeness to -say ‘How do you do?’ considering that it is some months since we met.” - -“Oh, do you indeed?” said the Doctor-in-Law, contemptuously. “Well, -supposing I don’t care one way or another. Where’s your hat?” - -[Illustration: “DOWN WITH THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW.”] - -Before I could answer the Cockatoo had screamed out “Down with the -Doctor-in-Law!” and the irate little man had replied by throwing a book -at her head out of the palace window. - -[Illustration: “I saw his Majesty, the Wallypug himself, running across -the lawn towards me, with both hands stretched out in welcome.”—Page -35. - _Wallypugland._] - -I was thoroughly disgusted at this behavior and at the strange -reception that I was receiving, and had fully determined to try and -find some way of getting home again, when, happening to turn round, I -saw his Majesty the Wallypug himself running across the lawn towards -me, with both hands stretched out in welcome, and his kind little face -beaming with good nature. - -“How d’ye do? How d’ye do?” he cried. “So pleased to see you. Didn’t -expect you quite so soon, though. Come along—this way.” And his -Majesty led me to another entrance, and through a large square hall -hung with tapestry and many quaint pieces of old-fashioned armor, to a -door marked “His Majesty the Wallypug. Strictly private.” I noticed, in -passing, that the words, “His Majesty” had been partly painted out, and -“What cheek!” written above them. Once inside the door, the Wallypug -motioned me to a chair, and said, in a mysterious whisper, - -“I’m _so_ glad you came before _she_ returned; there’s so much I want -to tell you.” - -“Who do you mean?” I asked. - -“Sh—Madame—er, my sister-in-law,” he replied, with a sigh. - -“Your sister-in-law!” I exclaimed. “Why, I didn’t know you were -married.” - -“Neither am I,” said his Majesty, with a puzzled frown. “That’s the -awkward part about it.” - -“But how on earth can you possibly have a sister-in-law, unless you -have a wife or a married brother?” I asked. - -“Well, I’ve never quite been able to understand _how_ they make it -out,” said the poor Wallypug, sorrowfully; “but I believe it is -something mixed up with the Deceased Wife’s Sister’s Bill, and the fact -that my uncle, The Grand Mochar of Gamboza, was married twice. Anyhow, -when I returned from London I found this lady, who _says_ that she -is my sister-in-law, established here in the palace; and—and—” his -Majesty sank his voice to a whisper, “she rules me with a rod of iron.” - -I had no time to make further inquiries, for just then the door opened, -and a majestic-looking person sailed into the room, and after looking -me up and down with elevated eyebrows, pointed her finger at me, and -said, in a stern voice: - -“And _who_ is this person, pray?” - -“Oh, this,” said his Majesty, smiling nervously, and bringing me -forward, “is the gentleman who was so kind to us in London, you know. -Allow me to present him, Mr. Er—er——” - -“I hope you have not been picking up any undesirable acquaintances, -Wallypug,” interrupted his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law severely. “I don’t -like the look of him at all.” - -“I’m sorry, madame, that my appearance doesn’t please you,” I -interposed, feeling rather nettled; “perhaps under the circumstances I -had better——” - -[Illustration: “I DON’T APPROVE OF YOU IN THE LEAST,” SAID THE -SISTER-IN-LAW.] - -“You had better do as you are bid and speak when you are spoken to,” -remarked the lady grimly. “Where’s your hat?” - -“I haven’t one,” I replied, rather abruptly, I am afraid, but I was -getting quite tired of this continual cross-questioning; “and really I -don’t see that it’s of the slightest consequence,” I ventured to add. - -“Oh! don’t you,” said his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law, with a sarcastic -smile. “Well, that’s one of the _many_ points upon which we shall -disagree. Now, look here, I may tell you at once that I don’t approve -of you in the least; still, as you are here now you had better remain; -but mind, no putting on parts or giving yourself airs and graces, or -I shall have something to say to you. Do you understand?” And with a -severe glance at me, the lady folded her arms and stalked out of the -room, leaving his Majesty and myself staring blankly at one another. - - - - -CHAPTER III. - -A TERRIBLE NIGHT. - - -MY reception at Why had been such a very peculiar one that I had fully -made up my mind to return home at once, but his Majesty the Wallypug -begged me so earnestly to stay with him, at any rate for a few days, -that I determined, out of friendship to him, to put up as best I could -with that extraordinary person the Sister-in-Law, and the rest of the -creatures, and remain, in order to help him if possible to establish -his position at Why on a firmer basis. - -So I took possession of a suite of rooms in the west wing of the -palace, near his Majesty’s private apartments, and we spent a very -pleasant evening together in my sitting-room, playing draughts till -bedtime, when his Majesty left me to myself, promising that he would -show me around the palace grounds the first thing in the morning. - -After he had gone, there being a bright wood fire burning in my -bedroom, I drew a high-backed easy-chair up to the old-fashioned -fireplace, and made myself comfortable for a little while before -retiring for the night. - -My bedroom was a large, old-fashioned apartment, with a low ceiling -and curiously carved oak wainscoting, and I watched the firelight -flickering, and casting all sorts of odd shadows in the dark corners, -till I must have fallen asleep, for I remember awaking with a start, -at hearing a crash in the corridor outside my bedroom door. A muttered -exclamation, and a Pelican, carrying a bedroom candlestick marched in, -and carefully fastened the door behind him. - -“Great clumsy things—I can’t think who can have left them there,” -he grumbled, sitting down and rubbing one foot against the other, as -though in pain. And I suddenly came to the conclusion that he must have -stumbled over my boots, which I had stood just outside the door, in -order that they might be cleaned for the morning. - -The Pelican had not noticed me in my high-backed chair, and, being -rather curious to see what he was up to, I kept perfectly still. - -Going over to a clothes press, which stood in one corner of the room, -the bird drew forth a long white night-gown and a nightcap; these he -proceeded solemnly to array himself in, and then, getting up on a -chair, he turned back the bedclothes with his enormous beak, and was -just about to hop into bed, when I thought that it was time for me to -interfere. - -“Here! I say, what are you up to?” I called out in a stern voice. - -[Illustration: “He turned back the bedclothes with his enormous beak, -and was just about to hop into bed.”—Page 42. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Oh—h-h! Ah—h-h! There’s a man in my room!” screamed the Pelican, -evidently greatly alarmed. “Murder! Fire! Police! Thieves!” - -“Hold your tongue!” I commanded. “What do you mean by making all that -noise at this time of night, and what are you doing in my room?” - -“Your room, indeed!” gasped the bird; “my room you mean, you -featherless biped, you!” - -“Look here!” I remarked, going up to the Pelican, and shaking him till -his beak rattled again. “Don’t you talk to me like that, my good bird, -for I won’t put up with it.” You see I was getting tired of being -treated so contemptuously by all of these creatures, and was determined -to put a stop to it, somehow. - -“But it _is_ my room. Let me go, I say!” screamed the bird, struggling -to get free, and dabbing at me viciously with his great beak. - -“It is not your room,” I maintained; “and what is more, you are not -going to stay here,” and I pushed the creature towards the door. - -“We’ll soon see all about that,” shouted the Pelican, wrenching himself -from my grasp, and rushing at me with his beak wide open, and his wings -outstretched. - -He was an enormous bird, and I had a great struggle with him. We went -banging about the room, knocking over the furniture and making a -terrible racket. At last, however, I managed to get him near the door, -and giving a terrific shove I pushed him outside, and, pulling the door -to, quickly turned the key. - -I could hear Mr. Pelican slipping and stumbling about on the highly -polished floor of the corridor outside, and muttering indignantly. -Presently he came to the door, and banging with his beak, he cried, -“Look here! this is beyond a joke—let me in, I say—where do you -suppose I am going to sleep?” - -“Anywhere you like except here,” I replied, feeling that I had got the -best of it. “Go and perch or roost, or whatever you call it, on the -banisters, or sleep on the mat if you like—I don’t care what you do!” - -“Impertinent wretch!” yelled the bird. “You only wait till the morning. -I’ll pay you out;” and I could hear him muttering and mumbling in -an angry way as he waddled down the corridor to seek some other -resting-place. “What ridiculous nonsense it is,” I thought, as I -tumbled into bed shortly after this little episode; “these creatures -giving themselves such airs. No wonder the Wallypug is such a meek -little person if he has been subjected to this sort of treatment -all his life.” And pondering over the best method of altering the -extraordinary state of affairs, I dropped off to sleep. - -I do not know how long it may have been after this, but a terrific din, -this time in the courtyard below my window, caused me once more to -jump from my bed in alarm. I could hear a most unearthly yelling going -on, a babel of voices, and occasionally a resounding crash as though -something hollow had been violently struck. - -[Illustration: HE WAS INTERRUPTED BY A SHOWER OF MISSILES.] - -Pushing open the latticed windows I saw in the moonlight a little man -dressed in a complete suit of armor with an enormous shield, like a -dishcover, arranged over his head, playing the guitar, and endeavoring -to sing to its accompaniment. He was continually interrupted, however, -by a shower of missiles thrown from all of the windows overlooking the -courtyard, out of which angry heads of animals and other occupants of -the palace were thrust; he was surrounded by a miscellaneous collection -of articles which had evidently been thrown at him, and some of them, -had it not been for his suit of armor and the erection over his head, -would have caused him considerable injury. - -[Illustration: THE MUSICIAN TOOK TO HIS HEELS AND FLED.] - -He did not seem to mind them in the least, though, and continued -singing amid a perfect storm of boots, brushes, and bottles, as though -he was quite accustomed to such treatment: and it was only when an -irate figure, which somehow reminded me of his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law, -clad in white garments and flourishing a pair of tongs, appeared in -the courtyard, that he took to his heels and fled, pursued by the -white-robed apparition, till both disappeared beneath an archway at -the farther end of the courtyard. Most of the windows were thereupon -closed, and the disturbed occupants of the palace returned to their -rest. I was just about to close my lattice too, when I caught sight of -a familiar figure at the adjoining window. It was my old friend A. -Fish, Esq. - -“Oh! id’s you iz id,” he cried. “You _have_ cub thed, I heard that you -were egspegded.” - -“Yes, here I am,” I replied. “How are you? How is your cold?” - -“Oh, id’s quide cured, thags; dote you dotice how butch better I speak?” - -“I’m very glad to hear it, I’m sure,” I replied, waiving the question -and trying to keep solemn. “What’s all this row about?” - -“Oh! thad’s the troubadour, up to his old gabes agaid; he’s ad awful -dusadce. I’ll tell you aboud hib in the bordig—good dight.” And A. -Fish, Esq., disappeared from view. - - - - -CHAPTER IV. - -LATE FOR BREAKFAST. - - -I AWOKE very early in the morning, just as it was daylight, and being -unable to get to sleep again amid my strange surroundings, I arose and -crept down-stairs as noiselessly as possible, intending to go for a -long walk before breakfast. - -At the bottom of the stairs I came upon a strange-looking white object, -which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be the Pelican, asleep on -the floor. - -He was not sleeping as any respectable bird would have done, with his -head tucked under his wing; but was lying stretched out on a rug in the -hall, with his head resting on a cushion. His enormous beak was wide -open, and he was snoring violently, and muttering uneasily in his sleep. - -[Illustration: THE PELICAN WAS SNORING VIOLENTLY.] - -I did not disturb him for fear lest he should make a noise; but -hurrying past him I made my way to the hall door, which after a little -difficulty I succeeded in unfastening. An ancient-looking turtle with a -white apron was busily cleaning the steps, and started violently as I -made my appearance at the door. - -“Bless my shell and fins!” he muttered; “what’s the creature wandering -about this time of the morning for; they’ll be getting up in the -middle of the night next. Just mind where you’re treading, please!” he -called out. “The steps have been cleaned, and I don’t want to have to -do them all over again.” - -I managed to get down without doing much damage, and then remarked -pleasantly: - -“Good morning; have you——” - -“No, I haven’t,” interrupted the Turtle snappishly; “and what’s more, I -don’t want to.” - -“What do you mean?” I inquired, in surprise. - -“Soap!” was the reply. - -“I don’t understand you,” I exclaimed. - -“You’re an advertisement for somebody’s soap, aren’t you?” asked the -Turtle. - -“Certainly not,” I replied, indignantly. - -“Your first remark sounded very much like it,” said the Turtle -suspiciously. “‘Good morning, have you used——’” - -“I wasn’t going to say that at all,” I interrupted. “I was merely -going to ask if you could oblige me with a light.” - -“Oh, that’s another thing entirely,” said the Turtle, handing me some -matches from his waistcoat pocket, and accepting a cigarette in return. -“But really we have got so sick of those advertisement catchwords since -the Doctor-in-Law returned from London with agencies for all sorts of -things, that we hate the very sound of them. We are continually being -told to ‘Call a spade a spade,’ which will be ‘grateful and comforting’ -to ‘an ox in a teacup’ who is ‘worth a guinea a box,’ and who ‘won’t be -happy till he gets it.’” - -“It must be very trying,” I murmured sympathetically. - -“Oh, it is,” remarked the Turtle. “Well,” he continued in a -business-like tone, “I’m sorry you can’t stop—good morning.” - -“I didn’t say anything about going,” I ejaculated. - -“Oh, didn’t you? Well, I did then,” said the Turtle emphatically. “Move -on, please!” - -“You’re very rude,” I remarked. - -“Think so?” said the Turtle pleasantly. “That’s all right -then—good-by,” and he flopped down on his knees and resumed his -scrubbing. - -[Illustration: THE TURTLE FLOPPED DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND RESUMED HIS -SCRUBBING.] - -There was nothing for me to do but to walk on, and seeing a -quaint-looking old rose garden in the distance, I decided to go over -and explore. - -I was walking slowly along the path leading to it, when I heard a -curious clattering noise behind me, and turning around I beheld the -Troubadour, still in his armor, dragging a large standard rosebush -along the ground. - -“As if it were not enough,” he grumbled, “to be maltreated as I am -every night, without having all this trouble every morning. I declare -it is enough to make you throw stones at your grandfather.” - -“What’s the matter?” I ventured to ask of the little man. - -“Matter?” was the reply. “Why, these wretched rosebushes, they _will_ -get out their beds at night, and wander about. I happened to leave the -gate open last night, and this one got out, and goodness knows where he -would have been by this time if I hadn’t caught him meandering about -near the Palace.” - -“Why! I’ve never heard of such a thing as a rosebush walking about,” I -exclaimed in surprise. - -[Illustration: “IN YOU GO!”] - -“Never heard of a——. Absurd!” declared the Troubadour, incredulously. -“Of course they do. That’s what you have hedges and fences around -the gardens for, isn’t it? Why, you can’t have been in a garden at -night-time, or you wouldn’t talk such nonsense. All the plants are -allowed to leave their beds at midnight. They are expected to be back -again by daylight, though, and not go wandering about goodness knows -where like this beauty,” and he shook the rosebush violently. - -“In you go,” he continued, digging a hole with the point of his mailed -foot, and sticking the rosebush into it. - -“Hullo!” he exclaimed, going up to another one, at the foot of which -were some broken twigs and crumpled leaves. “You’ve been fighting, have -you? I say, it’s really too bad!” - -“But what does it matter to you?” I inquired. “It’s very sad, no doubt, -but I don’t see why you should upset yourself so greatly about it.” - -“Well, you see,” was the reply, “I’m the head gardener here as well as -Troubadour, and so am responsible for all these things. I do troubing -as an extra,” he explained. “Three shillings a week and my armor. -Little enough, isn’t it, considering the risk?” - -“Well, the office certainly does not seem overpopular, judging from -last night,” I laughed. “Who were you serenading?” - -“Oh, any one,” was the reply. “I give it to them in turns. If any one -offends me in the daytime I pay them out at night, see? - -“I serenaded the Sister-in-Law mostly, but I shall give that up. She -doesn’t play fair. I don’t mind people shying things at me in the -least, for you see I’m pretty well protected; but when it comes to -chivying me round the garden with a pair of tongs, it’s more than I -bargained for. Look out! Here comes the Wallypug,” he continued. - -Sure enough his Majesty was walking down the path, attended by A. Fish, -Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge book. - -“Ah! good morning—good morning,” cried his Majesty, hurrying towards -me. “I’d no idea you were out and about so early. I’m just having my -usual morning lesson.” - -“Yes,” said A. Fish, Esq., smiling, and offering me a fin. “Ever sidse -I god rid of by cold I’ve been teaching the Wallypug elocutiod. We have -ad ‘our every bordig before breakfast, ad he’s geddig on spledidly.” - -“I’m sure his Majesty is to be congratulated on having so admirable an -instructor,” I remarked, politely, if not very truthfully. - -[Illustration: “His Majesty was walking down the path, attended by -A. Fish, Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge -book.”—Page 58. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Thags,” said A. Fish, Esq., looking very pleased. “I say, Wallypug, -recide that liddle thig frob Richard III., jusd to show hib how well -you cad do id, will you? You doe thad thig begiddidg ’Ad ’orse, ad -’orse, by kigdob for ad ’orse.’” - -“Yes, go on, Wallypug!” chimed in the Troubadour, indulgently. - -“Oh, I don’t know,” said his Majesty, simpering nervously. “I’m afraid -I should break down.” - -“Doe you wondt, doe you wondt,” said A. Fish, Esq. “Cub alog, try id.” - -So his Majesty stood up, with his hands folded in front of him, and was -just about to begin, when a bell in a cupola on the top of the palace -began to ring violently. - -“Good gracious, the breakfast bell! We shall be late,” cried the -Wallypug, anxiously grasping my hand and beginning to run towards the -palace. - -A. Fish, Esq., also shuffled along behind us as quickly as possible, -taking three or four wriggling steps, and then giving a funny little -hop with his tail, till, puffing and out of breath, we arrived at the -palace just as the bell stopped ringing. - -His Majesty hastily rearranged his disordered crown, and led the way -into the dining hall. - -A turtle carrying a large dish just inside the door whispered warningly -to the Wallypug as we entered, “Look out! You’re going to catch it,” -and hurried away. - -A good many creatures were seated at the table which ran down -the center of the room, and at the head of which his Majesty’s -Sister-in-Law presided, with a steaming urn before her. The -Doctor-in-Law occupied a seat near by, and I heard him remark: - -“They are two minutes late, madame. I hope you are not going to -overlook it,” to which the lady replied, grimly, “You leave that to -me.” - -“Sit there,” she remarked coldly, motioning me to a vacant seat, and -the Wallypug and A. Fish, Esq., subsided into the two other unoccupied -chairs on the other side of the table. - - - - -CHAPTER V. - -THE TRIAL. - - -FOR a moment nobody spoke. The Wallypug sat back in a huddled heap in -his chair, looking up into Madame’s face with a scared expression. A. -Fish unconcernedly began to eat some steaming porridge from a plate in -front of him—and I sat still and waited events. - -A band of musicians in the gallery at the end of the hall were playing -somewhat discordantly, till Madame turned around and called out in an -angry voice: - -“Just stop that noise, will you? I can’t hear myself speak.” - -[Illustration: “STOP THAT NOISE!”] - -The musicians immediately left off playing with the exception of an -old hippopotamus, playing a brass instrument, who being deaf, and -very near-sighted, had neither heard what had been said nor observed -that the others had stopped. With his eyes fixed on the music stand -in front of him, he kept up a long discordant tootling on his own -account, gravely beating time with his head and one foot. - -His Majesty’s Sister-in-Law turned around furiously once or twice, and -then seeing that the creature did not leave off, she threw a teacup at -his head, and followed it up with the sugar basin. - -The latter hit him, and hastily dropping his instrument, he looked over -the top of his spectacles in surprise. - -Perceiving that the others had left off playing, he apparently realized -what had happened, and meekly murmuring, “I beg your pardon,” he leaned -forward with one foot up to his ear, to hear what was going on. - -“I’m waiting to know what you have to say for yourselves,” resumed -Madame, addressing the Wallypug and myself. - -“The traid was late, add there was a fog od the lide,” explained A. -Fish, Esq., mendaciously, with his mouth full of hot porridge. - -“A likely story!” said the good lady sarcastically. “A very convenient -excuse, I must say; but that train’s been late too many times recently -to suit me. I don’t believe a word of what you are saying.” - -“If I might venture a suggestion,” said the Doctor-in-Law, sweetly, -“I would advise that they should all be mulcted in heavy fines, and I -will willingly undertake the collection of the money for a trifling -consideration.” - -“It’s too serious a matter for a fine,” said the Madame severely. “What -do you mean by it?” she demanded, glaring at me furiously. - -“Well, I’m sure we are all very sorry,” I remarked, “but I really do -not see that being two minutes late for breakfast is such a dreadful -affair after all.” - -“Oh! you don’t, don’t you?” said the Sister-in-Law, working herself up -into a terrible state of excitement; “Well, I do, then. Do you suppose -that you are going to do just as you please here? Do you think that I -am going to allow myself to be brow-beaten and imposed upon by a mere -man——” - -“Who hasn’t a hat to his back,” interposed the Doctor-in-Law, -spitefully. - -“Hold your tongue,” said the Sister-in-Law. “I’m dealing with him now. -Do you suppose,” she went on, “that I am to be openly defied by a -ridiculous Wallypug and a person with a cold in his head?” - -“I’b sure I havn’d,” declared A. Fish, Esq., indignantly. “By code’s -beed cured this last bunth or bore.” - -“Humph, sounds like it, doesn’t it?” said the lady, tauntingly. -“However, we’ll soon settle this matter. We’ll have a public meeting, -and see who’s to be master, you or I.” - -“Hooray, public meeting! Public meeting!” shouted all the creatures -excitedly. - -“Yes, and at once,” said the Sister-in-Law impressively, getting up and -leaving the table, regardless of the fact that scarcely anybody had as -yet had any breakfast. - -The rest of the creatures followed her out of the room. - -When they had quite disappeared and the Wallypug, A. Fish, Esq., and -myself were left alone, I thought that we might as well help ourselves -to some breakfast. So I poured out some of the coffee, which we found -excellent, and had just succeeded in persuading his Majesty to try a -little bread and butter, when some crocodiles appeared at the door and -announced: “You are commanded to attend the trial at once.” - -“What trial?” I asked. - -“Your own,” was the reply. “You and the Wallypug are to be tried for -‘Contempt of Sister-in-Law,’ and A. Fish, Esq., is subpœnaed as a -witness.” - -“Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” said the poor Wallypug, wringing his hands. “I -know what that means. Whatever shall we do?” - -“Dever bide, old chap. I do the best I cad to get you off,” said A. -Fish, Esq. “Cub alog, it will odly bake badders worse to delay.” - -So we allowed ourselves to be taken in charge by the crocodiles, and -led to the Public Hall, his Majesty and myself being loaded with chains. - -We found the Sister-in-Law and the Doctor-in-Law seated at the judges’ -bench when we entered. The Sister-in-Law wore a judge’s red robe, and a -long, flowing wig under her usual head-dress, and the Doctor-in-Law was -provided with a slate, pencil, and sponge. - -[Illustration: “SILENCE IN COURT!” SCREAMED THE OSTRICH.] - -We were conducted to a kind of dock on one side of the bench, and on -the other side appeared what afterwards transpired to be the witness -box. The body of the hall was crowded with animals, craning their necks -to catch a glimpse of us. - -“Silence in court,” screamed out a gaily-dressed ostrich, and the trial -began. - -“We’ll take the man creature first,” said the Sister-in-Law, regarding -me contemptuously. “Now then, speak up! What have you got to say for -yourself?” - -“There appears to be—” I began. - -“Silence in court,” shouted the ostrich, who was evidently an official. - -“Surely I may be allowed to explain,” I protested. - -“Silence in court,” shouted the bird again. - -I gave it up and remained silent. “Call the first witness,” remarked -the Sister-in-Law impatiently, and the Turtle, whom I had seen cleaning -the steps in the morning, walked briskly up into the witness-box. - -“Well, Turtle, what do you know about this man?” was the first question. - -“So please your Importance, I was cleaning my steps very early this -morning, when the prisoner opened the door in a stealthy manner and -crept out very quietly. ‘Ho!’ thinks I, ‘this ’ere man’s up to no -good,’ and so I keeps him in conversation a little while, but his -language—oh!—and what with one thing and another and noticing that he -hadn’t a hat, I told him he had better move on. I saw him walk over to -the rose garden and afterwards join the Wallypug and Mr. Fish. I think -that’s all, except—ahem—that I missed a small piece of soap.” - -“Soap?” said the Doctor-in-Law, elevating his eyebrows. “This is -important—er—er—what kind of soap?” - -“Yellow,” said the Turtle. “Fourpence a pound.” - -“Hum!” said the Doctor-in-Law, “very mysterious, but not at all -surprising from what I know of this person—call the next witness.” - -The next witness was the Cockatoo, who scrambled into the box in a -great fluster. - -“He’s a story-teller, and a pickpocket, and a backbiter, and a fibber, -and a bottle-washer,” she screamed excitedly, “and a heartless -deceiver, and an organ-grinder, so there!” And she danced out of the -witness-box again excitedly, muttering, “Down with him, down with him, -the wretch,” all the way back to her seat. - -“Ah, that will about settle him, I fancy,” remarked the Doctor-in-Law, -putting down some figures on his slate and counting them up. - -“What are you doing?” demanded the Sister-in-Law. - -“Summing up,” was the reply. “The judges always sum up in England, you -know; that’s thirty-two pounds he owes. Shall I collect it?” - -“Wait a minute till I pass the sentence,” said the Sister-in-Law. - -“Prisoner at the bar,” she continued, “you have since your arrival here -been given every latitude.” - -“And longitude,” interrupted the Doctor-in-Law. - -“And have taken advantage of the fact to disobey the laws of the land -in every possible way. You have heard the evidence against you, and I -may say more clear proof could not have been given. It appears that you -are a thoroughly worthless character, and it is with great pleasure I -order you to be imprisoned in the deepest dungeon beneath the castle -moat, and fined thirty-two pounds and costs.” - -Then pointing to me tragically, she called out, “Officers! take away -that Bauble!” And I was immediately seized by two of the crocodiles, -preparatory to being taken below. - - - - -CHAPTER VI. - -HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED. - - -“STOP a minute!” cried Madame, as I was being led away. “We may as well -settle the Wallypug’s affair at the same time and get rid of them both -at once. Put the creature into the dock.” - -His Majesty was hustled forward, looking very nervous and white, as he -stood trembling at the bar, while Madame regarded him fiercely. - -“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” she demanded. - -“Ye-e-s!” stammered his Majesty, though what the poor little fellow had -to be ashamed of was more than I could tell. - -“I should think so, indeed,” commented the lady. “Now then, call the -first witness.” - -The first witness was A. Fish, Esq., who coughed importantly as he -stepped up into the box with a jaunty air. “Let’s see, what’s your -name?” asked the Doctor-in-Law, with a supercilious stare. Now, this -was absurd, for, of course, he knew as well as I did what the Fish’s -name was; but as I heard him whisper to Madame, the judges in England -always pretend not to know _anything_, and he was doing the same. - -“By dabe is A. Fish, you doe thadt well edough,” was the answer. - -“Don’t be impertinent, or I shall commit you for contempt,” said the -Doctor-in-Law, severely. “Now then—ah—you are a reptile of some sort, -I believe, are you not?” - -“Certainly dot!” was indignant reply. - -“Oh! I thought you were. Er—what do you do for a living?” - -“I’b a teacher of elocutiod add a lecturer,” said A. Fish, Esq., -importantly. - -“Oh! indeed. Teacher of elocution, are you? And how many pupils have -you, pray?” - -“Well, ad presend I’ve odly wud,” replied A. Fish, Esq., “and that the -Wallypug.” - -“Oh! the Wallypug’s a pupil of yours, is he? I suppose you find him -very stupid, don’t you?” - -“Doe, I don’t!” said A. Fish, Esq., loyally. “He’s a very clever pupil, -ad he’s gettig od splendidly with his recitig.” - -“Oh! is he, indeed; and what do you teach him, may I ask?” - -“I’ve taught hib ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’ ad ‘Billy’s dead ad -gone to glory,’ ad several other things frob Shakespeare.” - -“Shakespeare? hum—ha—Shakespeare? I seem to have heard the name -before. Who is he?” - -“A great poet, born in England in 1564, m’lud,” explained one of the -Crocodiles. - -“Really! He must be getting quite an old man by now,” said the -Doctor-in-Law, vaguely. - -“He’s dead,” said A. Fish, Esq., solemnly. - -“Dear me! poor fellow! what did he die of?” - -“Don’t ask such a lot of silly questions,” interrupted the -Sister-in-Law, impatiently; “get on with the business. What has A. Fish -to say on behalf of the Wallypug? that is the question.” - -“He’s gettig od very dicely with his recitig,” insisted A. Fish, Esq. -“He was repeatig a speech from Richard III. to us this bordig whed the -breakfast bell rang, ad that’s why we were late at table.” - -“Oh! that’s the reason, is it?” said the Sister-in-Law. “Bah! I’ve no -patience with a man at his time of life repeating poetry. Positively -childish, I call it. What was the rubbish?” she demanded, turning to -the Wallypug. - -“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,” began his Majesty, feebly. - -“What!” shrieked the Sister-in-Law, starting up from her seat. “Say -that again!” - -“‘A-a horse, a horse, my-my kingdom for a horse,’” stammered the -Wallypug, nervously. - -“Traitor! Monster!” cried the Sister-in-Law furiously. “Hear him!” -she screamed. “He actually has the effrontery to tell us to our faces -that he is willing to sell the whole of this kingdom for a horse. Oh! -it is too much! the heartless creature! Oh-h!” and the lady sank back -and gasped hysterically. At this there was a terrible uproar in the -court—the animals stood up on the seats, frantically gesticulating -and crying: “Traitor!” “Down with the Wallypug!” “Off with his head!” -“Banish him!” “Send him to jail!” while above all could be heard the -Cockatoo screaming: - -“I told you so. I told you so! Down with the Wallypug! Off with his -crown! Dance on his sceptre, and kick his orb round the town.” - -The poor Wallypug threw himself on his knees and called out -imploringly, “It’s all a mistake,” and I tried in vain to make myself -heard above the uproar. - -[Illustration: “TRAITOR! MONSTER!” “OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”] - -The whole assembly seemed to have taken leave of their senses, and for -a few moments the utmost confusion prevailed. The creatures nearest to -the Wallypug seemed as though they would tear him to pieces in their -fury, and if it had not been for his jailers, the Crocodiles, I am -convinced they would have done him some injury. “This is outrageous,” -I managed to shout at last. “You are making all this disturbance for -nothing. What the Wallypug said was merely a quotation from one of -Shakespeare’s plays.” - -“Oh, it’s all very well to try and blame it on to poor Shakespeare, -when you know very well he’s dead and can’t defend himself,” was -Madame’s reply. “That’s your artfulness. I’ve no doubt you are quite as -bad as the Wallypug himself, and probably put him up to it.” - -“Yes. Down with him! Down with the hatless traitor!” screamed the -Cockatoo. - -And despite our protests the Wallypug and myself were loaded with -chains and marched off by the Crocodiles, his Majesty having first -been robbed of his crown, sceptre, and orb, and other insignia of -Royalty by the Doctor-in-Law, who hadn’t a kind word to say for his -old sovereign, and who seemed positively to rejoice at his Majesty’s -downfall. I was highly indignant with his heartless ingratitude, but -could do positively nothing, while all of my protests were drowned in -the babel of sounds made by the furious creatures in the body of the -court. - -[Illustration: THE WALLYPUG WAS LOADED WITH CHAINS AND MARCHED OFF BY -THE CROCODILES.] - -After being taken from the dock I was marched off in one direction -and his Majesty in another, and the last view I had of the Wallypug -was that of the poor little fellow being limply dragged along by two -Crocodiles in the direction of the dungeons. I was conducted to the top -room of a tower, in an unfrequented part of the palace, and there left -to my reflections, without any one to speak to for the remainder of the -day. - -Towards the evening I heard some shouting at the bottom of the tower, -and looking out as well as I could through the barred window, I saw -the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of newspapers under one -arm—and heard him calling out, in a loud voice, “Special edition! -Arrest of the Wallypug! Shocking discovery! The Wallypug a traitor! -Sister-in-Law prostrate with excitement! The Hatless Man implicated!” -He was doing a roaring trade, as nearly everybody was buying papers -of him, and excited groups of animals were standing about eagerly -discussing what was evidently the cause of a tremendous sensation in -the kingdom of Why. - -[Illustration: “I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet -of newspapers under one arm, calling out in a loud voice, ‘Special -edition! Arrest of the Wallypug!’”—Page 82. - _Wallypugland._] - - - - -CHAPTER VII. - -FOILED! - - -I STOOD at the barred window for some time, watching the Doctor-in-Law -rushing about with his papers, and then started back as a huge and -disreputable-looking black Crow settled on the stone ledge outside. - -I soon recognized him as being the bird who had behaved so -impertinently to me on my first arrival at Why. - -“Well!” he exclaimed, squeezing himself through the iron bars, and -staring at me over the tops of his spectacles. “You have got yourself -into a pretty muddle now, I must say. I should think you are thoroughly -ashamed of yourself, aren’t you?” - -“Indeed, I’m not,” I replied. “I’m not conscious of having done -anything to be ashamed of, and as for that trial, why it was a -mere farce, and perfectly absurd,” and I laughed heartily at the -recollection of it. - -“H’m! I’m glad you find it so amusing,” remarked the bird -sententiously. “You won’t be so light-hearted about it to-morrow if -they treat you as the papers say they purpose doing.” - -“Why, what do they intend to do then?” I exclaimed, my curiosity -thoroughly aroused. - -“Execute you,” said the Crow solemnly. “And serve you jolly well right, -too.” - -“What nonsense!” I cried, “they can’t execute me for doing nothing.” - -“Oh, you think so, do you? Didn’t you instigate the Wallypug to become -a traitor, and sell the kingdom for the sake of a horse?” said the -Crow, referring to his paper. - -“Certainly not!” I cried emphatically. - -“Well, they say you did, anyhow,” said the Crow, “and they intend to -chop off your head and the Wallypug’s too. It won’t matter you not -having a hat then,” he continued grimly. - -“But you don’t mean it, surely!” I exclaimed. “They certainly can’t be -so ridiculous as to treat the affair seriously.” - -“Well, you see,” said the bird, “things without doubt look very black -against you. In the first place what did you want to come here at all -for?” - -“I’m sure I wish I hadn’t,” I remarked. - -“Just so! So does every one else,” said the Crow rudely. “Then, when -you did come, you were without a hat, which is in itself a very -suspicious circumstance.” - -“Why?” I interrupted. - -“Respectable people don’t go gadding about without hats,” said the bird -contemptuously, turning up his beak. “And then, the first morning -after your arrival you must needs go prowling about the grounds before -any one else was up.” - -[Illustration: “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME IN YOUR WILL?”] - -“What are you going to leave me in your will?” he continued -insinuatingly. - -“Nothing at all,” I declared. “And besides, I’m not going to make a -will. I don’t intend to let them kill me without a good struggle, I can -tell you.” - -“H’m, you might as well let me have your watch and chain. It will -only go to the Doctor-in-Law if you don’t. He is sure to want to grab -everything. I expect he will want to seize the throne when the Wallypug -is executed. I saw him just now trying on the crown, and smirking and -capering about in front of the looking-glass.” - -“The Doctor-in-Law is an odious little monster,” I exclaimed. - -“Oh, very well,” cried the Crow, wriggling through the bars, “I’ll -just go and tell him what you say. I’ve no doubt he will be delighted -to hear your opinion of him—and perhaps it will induce him to add -something to your punishment. I hope so, I’m sure—ha—ha!” - -And the wretched ill-omened bird flew away laughing derisively. - -I could not help feeling rather uncomfortable at the turn which events -had taken, for there was no knowing to what lengths the extraordinary -inhabitants of this remarkable place might go, and if it had really -been decided that the poor Wallypug and myself should be executed on -the morrow, then there was no time to be lost in our efforts to effect -an escape. - -I was puzzling over the matter, and wondering what was best to be done, -when I heard a bell ringing at the other end of the apartment. - -“Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling,” for all the world like the ring of a -telephone call bell. - -I ran across the room, and sure enough, there was a telephone fitted up -in the far corner. I hastily put the receiver to my ears, and heard a -squeaky voice inquiring: - -“Are you there? Are you 987654321?” - -“Yes,” I called out, for I thought that I might as well be this number -as any other. - -“Well,” the voice replied, in an agitated way, “Aunt Kesiah has done it -at last.” - -“What?” I shouted. - -[Illustration: “Are you there?” cried A. Fish, Esq. “Yes; what is it?” -I asked.—Page 89. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Proposed to the curate, and so all those slippers will be wasted. -Don’t you think we had better—” - -But I rang off and stopped the connection, for I felt sure that the -communication was not intended for me. - -Presently there was another ring at the bell, and this time I found -myself connected with the exchange. I knew that it was the exchange, -because they were all quarreling so. - -“It was all your fault!” “No it wasn’t.” “Yes it was.” “Well, you -know A. Fish, Esq., is 13,579—so there.” “Yes, and he wanted to be -connected with the West Tower in the Palace.” - -“Connect me with 13,579, please,” I called. - -And a moment or two afterwards I heard a well-known voice sounding -through the instrument, and I knew that A. Fish, Esq., was at the other -end. - -“Are you there?” he cried. - -“Yes; what is it?” I asked. - -“There isn’t a biddit to spare,” he gasped; “lift up the loose stode -dear the fireplace, ad you will find a secret staircase leadig to the -dudgeod, where the Wallypug is ibprisod; hurry for your life, he has -discovered a way of escape.” - -I dropped the receiver, and flew to the fireplace. Yes, sure enough, -there was the loose stone that A. Fish, Esq., had spoken of, and having -raised it with some difficulty I found a narrow spiral staircase -beneath, leading down into mysterious depths. - -I plunged into the darkness, and after walking round and round, and -down and down, for a considerable time I saw a faint light at the -other end. I hurried forward as quickly as I could, and found myself -in a dimly-lighted dungeon. The Wallypug was here alone, and was -busily cramming everything he could lay his hands on into an enormous -carpet-bag. - -“Thank goodness, you have come!” he exclaimed, in a terrible fluster, -when he saw me. “I was afraid you would be too late. We must escape at -once if we would save our necks. Fortunately, I have just remembered -that this dungeon is connected with the shute which the late Wallypug -had constructed between here and Ling Choo, in China, which is on the -other side of the world—it is enormously long and very steep, but -quite safe—we must use it in order to get away. We are to be executed -in the morning if we stay here, so I am informed; therefore, we must -lose no time. I have just finished packing up. Ah! What’s that?” he -exclaimed, listening intently. - -“Quick! they are coming!” he cried, as sounds were heard in the passage -outside the dungeon door; and touching a spring, an enormous opening -appeared in the wall. His Majesty gave me a sudden push, which sent -me sprawling on to a smooth and very steep incline, and jumping down -himself, we slid rapidly away into the unknown. - -[Illustration: WE SLID RAPIDLY DOWN THE SHUTE.] - -That we were only just in time was evidenced by the cries of rage and -disappointment which pursued us from the dungeon, as the Doctor-in-Law -and the other creatures saw us escape from their clutches, and we could -hear the Cockatoo’s shrill cries grow fainter and fainter as we sped -swiftly down the shute towards Ling Choo. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII. - -THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE. - - -DOWN, and down, and down we flew, quicker and quicker each moment. -The shute was as smooth as glass, and grew steeper than ever as we -descended. His Majesty was a little way behind me, but the terrific -rate at which we were traveling made it impossible for us to hold -any conversation. Once or twice I shouted out something to him, but -receiving no reply I soon gave that up. The attitude in which I was -slipping down the shute was a most uncomfortable one, but after a -considerable time I managed to turn over on to my back, and eventually -to twist around, till, at any rate, I was traveling feet foremost, -which was some slight consolation, although naturally I was dreadfully -concerned as to what was to be our fate at the other end of our -journey. “Slipping along at this rate,” I thought, “we shall probably -be smashed to a jelly when we do arrive at the bottom. At any rate I -shall, for the Wallypug and the carpet-bag are bound to descend upon my -devoted head.” - -By and by I began to grow very hungry, and then came another dismal -thought. Supposing this extraordinary trip continued for any length of -time, how should we get on for food? - -We seemed to be traveling through a kind of tunnel, with very smooth -walls on either side. The Wallypug had said that we were bound for -China, and that that country was on the other side of the world. If so, -then we were in for a pretty long journey. I twisted my head around, -and tried to get a glimpse of his Majesty, who was only a few yards -above me. I could see that he was struggling to get something out -of the carpet-bag, and a few minutes afterwards a little packet of -sandwiches came whizzing past my head. I managed to catch it as it fell -upon the highly-polished boards by stretching out one leg just in time -to prevent it from slipping too far. - -[Illustration: I COULD SEE HE WAS STRUGGLING TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF -THE CARPET-BAG.] - -The sandwiches were very good, and I enjoyed them immensely, and for -a few moments almost forgot our strange surroundings. I was soon, -however, recalled to a sense of our condition by the fact that we -suddenly emerged from the tunnel into broad daylight, the shute -apparently descending the steep sides of a high mountain. As soon as my -eyes became accustomed to the light I noticed, to my great surprise, -that everything in this new country was of a deep rich blue color. The -rocks on the mountain side, the strange-looking trees, and even the -birds—of which I could see several flying about—were all of the same -unusual tint. - -I had hardly noticed this fact, as we flew down the side of the -mountain, when I felt myself suddenly pulled up with a jerk, and lifted -high into the air in a most unaccountable manner, and when, after -a moment or two, I recovered from the shock, I found that both the -Wallypug and myself were suspended from a line at the end of two long -fishing-rods which were fastened into a quaint little bridge crossing -the shute. - -There we hung, dangling and bobbing about in front of each other in the -most ridiculous way, the dear Wallypug still clinging to his carpet-bag -with one hand, while in the other he clutched a half-eaten sandwich. -I shall never forget his Majesty’s surprised expression when he found -himself hanging up the air in this unexpected way. - -“Like being a bird, isn’t it?” he remarked when at last he found a -voice. - -“H’m, not much,” I replied. “I feel more like a fish at the end of this -line. I wish some one would come and help us off. There’s a hook, or -something, sticking into my shoulder, and it hurts no end.” You see -there was evidently something at the end of the lines which had caught -into our clothes, and the hook, or whatever it was, just touched my -shoulder. It did not hurt very much, but just enough to make me feel -uncomfortable. - -[Illustration: “I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, looking -about him. “What a funny colour everything is, to be sure.”—Page 98. - _Wallypugland._] - -“I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, looking about him. “What a -funny color everything is, to be sure.” - -“Yes, isn’t it?” I replied. And truly it was a most remarkable scene. -There was a curious little kind of temple in the distance and a number -of most extraordinary-looking trees; and these, and the grass, and, in -fact, everything that could be seen, were of a bright blue tint. - -“I know what those trees are called,” said the Wallypug, pointing to -some remarkable looking ones, with a lot of large blue globes on the -branches instead of leaves. - -“What?” I asked. - -“Gombobble trees,” said his Majesty. “I’ve seen pictures of them -before.” - -“Where?” I asked, more for the sake of something to say than for -anything else. - -“On our willow-pattern plates at home,” said his Majesty. “There were -those and the wiggle-woggely trees, you know.” - -“I wonder,” he continued speculatively, “if by any chance we are there.” - -“What do you mean?” I asked. - -“I wonder if this is the place which is shown on the willow-pattern -plates,” said his Majesty. - -Before I could reply we heard an excited exclamation from the bank, -and turning around as well as we could we saw two curious little blue -people dressed in flowing blue costumes. - -“Oh!” they exclaimed, when they saw us, throwing up their hands in a -comical little way, “we’ve caught something. What funny things! What -are they?” - -“I wonder if they bite,” cried the shorter of the two. - -“Do you bite, you funny things, you?” cried the other, shaking her head -at us. - -“No, of course not,” said the Wallypug. “Help us to get down, will you, -please?” - -“Not yet,” said both of the little blue creatures, shaking their heads -simultaneously. “What are your names?” - -[Illustration: “OH!” THEY EXCLAIMED, “WHAT ARE THEY?”] - -“I’m the Wallypug,” explained his Majesty graciously, “and this -gentleman is——” - -“He, he, he! He, he, he! He, he, he!” giggled the little blue people. -“They’re Wallypugs. Two great big fat Wallypugs. Oh, oh! what funny -things. Let’s go and fetch Ho-lor.” And they ran off as fast as their -little blue legs would carry them. - - - - -CHAPTER IX. - -THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN. - - -HIS Majesty and myself stared at each other in dismay. Our position was -growing more and more uncomfortable every moment, and, added to this, I -had a growing impression that the rods to which we were attached would -sooner or later break with our weight. - -“Well! I do think that they might have helped us off the hooks, at any -rate,” grumbled his Majesty, discontentedly. - -“So do I,” I rejoined, and was about to add something else when my -attention was attracted to the peculiar behavior of the two blue birds -which we had previously noticed circling about over our heads. - -They were wheeling round and round in a most eccentric manner, and as -they drew closer we could see that they were as singular in appearance -as they were in their manner. - -“Why, they’ve got ever so many wings!” cried his Majesty in surprise. - -“Go away!” he shouted, as one of them fluttered past his face. The -birds, however, were not to be got rid of so easily, and, uttering -shrill little cries, they hovered about over his Majesty’s head, every -now and then making a vicious dart at the sandwich which he still held -in one hand. - -“Oh! take them away!—take them away!” he shouted, dropping his -carpet-bag in alarm, and evidently forgetting that I was as incapable -as he was of driving them off. - -“Throw your sandwich away!” I shouted; “it’s that they are after, I -believe.” - -His Majesty did so, and we soon had the satisfaction of seeing the -birds squabbling over it on the bank at the side of the shute. - -[Illustration: “GO AWAY!” SHOUTED HIS MAJESTY.] - -“Fortunate I tied my bag to the string of my cloak, wasn’t it?” -remarked the Wallypug, when they had gone. “I should have lost it else. -Oh, look! What’s that coming down the shute?” he cried, as something -suddenly came rolling and bounding down the steep incline. - -“O—o—o—h!” he continued delightedly, as it stopped, caught in the -mouth of the carpet-bag which, attached to the cord of his Majesty’s -cloak, dangled down the shute. “Why, it’s my crown! They must have -thought that I wanted it, and sent it down after me. How very kind of -them. Wasn’t it?” - -I had my own opinions on the subject, and held my peace, for I felt -quite sure that it was not through any intentional kindness that the -crown had found its way to its proper owner. - -His Majesty very carefully drew up the carpet-bag with its precious -burden, and soon had the intense satisfaction of putting the crown of -Why on his royal head once more. - -“Oh!” he cried with a little sigh of satisfaction, “it does seem nice -to have it on again. I’m afraid that I should soon have caught a cold -in my head, like A. Fish, Esq., if I had gone without it much longer.” - -[Illustration: A LONG LINE OF CREATURES WAS COMING DOWN THE SHUTE.] - -“Gracious!” he cried, pointing excitedly towards the top of the shute, -“there’s something else coming down! Why it’s the Doctor-in-Law and -Madame. Oh!—and the Cockatoo—and—the Rabbit and the Mole. Bless me! -if the whole of Why isn’t coming along.” - -It was quite true; attached to a strong rope a long line of creatures -was coming down the shute, the Doctor-in-Law leading the way. - -He soon caught sight of us dangling at the end of our rods, and calling -out “Halt!” in a loud voice, he pulled at the rope as a sign that they -were to stop. This signal was passed along by the others, and the -Cockatoo, who was attached to the rope in a very uncomfortable manner, -gave a loud “squ-a-a-k” as the sudden jerk caused it to tighten about -her neck. - -The signal, however, managed somehow to reach those at the other end, -for the procession suddenly came to a standstill. - -“Oh, there you are then!” called out the Doctor-in-Law in a severe -voice. “Thought you had escaped us, I suppose.” - -The Cockatoo, in a voice choking with rage, and the tightened rope, -shrieked out, “Down with the traitors!” while the Rabbit passed the -word along, “It’s all right. We’ve found them.” - -“Just you come down and tie yourself to this rope at once!” called out -Madame, glaring fiercely at the Wallypug. - -“Shan’t!” shouted his Majesty defiantly, pushing his crown further on -to his head. - -“What!” screamed the good lady, in a terrible passion. “Do you dare to -rebel?” - -“Yes, I do,” called out his Majesty bravely. “I don’t believe you are -my sister-in-law at all, and I’m not going back to Why to be snubbed -and ill-treated for you or any one else—so there. You can’t get at me, -hanging up here, and I don’t mean to get down till you’re gone. Yah!” - -“Oh, we’ll soon see all about that,” called out the Doctor-in-Law, -working himself to the edge of the shute, and trying to climb up the -steep sides of the bank. - -We watched his endeavors with considerable anxiety, for if he did -succeed in getting on to the bank, it would be an easy matter for him -to get at us, by means of the bridge. The rope, however, by which he -was attached to the Sister-in-Law was not sufficiently long to enable -him to do this, and while he was unfastening it there was a sudden cry -in the direction of the tunnel, and a moment afterwards, screaming, -kicking, and struggling, the whole party rapidly disappeared down the -shute. - -The rope had given way! - -“He, he, he! Ha, ha!” laughed his Majesty, as the huddled mass vanished -in the distance. “What a lark! Oh what a muddle they will be in when -they reach the bottom.” - -I tried to imagine what would be the result, and came to the conclusion -that, uncomfortable as I was in my present position, I would rather be -where I was than attached to the rope with the others. - -In the meantime the little blue people, their curiosity evidently -aroused by the noise, were hurrying towards us as quickly as possible, -bringing with them a very stout blue person, who was waddling along, -being alternately pushed and pulled by the others in their eagerness to -reach us. - -“See, there they are!” cried the little lady whose name we afterwards -found out was Gra-Shus. “Oh my! Aren’t they a funny color?” - -“Shall we get them down?” asked the other, whose name was Mi-Hy. - -The little fat man regarded us critically, and said nothing for a -moment or two, then he nodded his head violently. - -“You’re sure you won’t bite?” said Mi-Hy, looking up into my face. - -“No, of course not. Don’t be silly,” I replied. - -Thereupon, after a great deal of pulling and pushing on the part of -Mi-Hy and Gra-Shus, the rods to which we were attached were swung -around, and the Wallypug and myself alighted, one on either side of the -bank. - -His Majesty smoothed his rumpled garments, and, adjusting his crown to -a more becoming angle, positively swaggered across the bridge to where -the three little blue people stood in a line to receive us. - -“This is Ho-Lor,” said Mi-Hy, pushing the little fat man forward, while -Gra-Shus bashfully hid behind the ample folds of his gorgeous blue -skirts. - -“How do you do?” asked his Majesty graciously. - -“Do what?” asked Ho-Lor, smilingly. - -“I mean, how are you?” explained the Wallypug. - -“You mean _what_ am I, I suppose?” said the little man, putting on a -puzzled expression. - -“No, I don’t,” said the Wallypug. “I mean just what I say—How are you?” - -“But I don’t understand,” replied Ho-Lor. “How am I what?” - -“His Majesty the Wallypug of Why,” I explained, “wishes to say, that he -hopes you are quite well.” - -[Illustration: His Majesty swaggered across the bridge to where the -three little blue people stood in a line to receive us.—Page 112. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Oh! I beg your pardon” said Ho-Lor. “How very stupid of me. But -you know, the fact is, we get such a lot of foreigners down here, -and they do ask such funny questions. A Frenchman we caught the -other day actually asked me how I carried myself. Wasn’t it rude of -him—considering my weight too?” - -“You’re a Wallypug, too, aren’t you?” asked Gra-Shus, looking smilingly -up into my face. - -“Oh, no!” I replied; “I am only his Majesty’s guest.” - -“His Majesty! Do you mean that?” said Mi-Hy, pointing to the Wallypug. - -The Wallypug drew himself up with an air of offended dignity. - -“I am not a ‘that’; I’m a kind of a king,” he explained, in a tone of -remonstrance. - -“O-ooh!” exclaimed the little blue people, falling down on their knees -and bowing their foreheads to the ground, with their hands stretched -out before them. “Pray forgive us, Majestuous Wallypug, we thought you -were only an ordinary person. You see we’ve never caught a king before. -Oh! don’t chop our heads off, will you?” - -[Illustration: “PRAY FORGIVE US,” EXCLAIMED THE BLUE PEOPLE.] - -“Of course not,” said his Majesty, kindly. - -“But kings always chop off people’s heads, don’t they?” cried the -little people, anxiously. - -“Oh dear no,” said the Wallypug. - -“Get up; or you’ll spoil your clothes. Could we have a cup of tea, -please? We are rather fatigued with our long journey.” - -The little blue people immediately jumped up and led the way to -where behind a clump of curious blue trees the quaintest little boat -you could possibly imagine was moored against the bank. A blue lake -stretched as far as the eye could reach, and a number of little islands -were dotted about it. On one, a little larger than the rest, a quaint -little blue pagoda could be seen. - - - - -CHAPTER X. - -THE HOME OF HO-LOR. - - -“I LIVE over there,” said Ho-Lor with pride, pointing to the island -with the pagoda on it. “Mi-Hy shall row us across, and Gra-Shus shall -make us some tea.” - -“Oh! yes,” said Gra-Shus clapping her hands. “And we’ll show Mr. -Majesty Wallypug our beautiful pet dog—won’t we?” - -It was impossible not to be interested in these quaint and -simple-minded little folk, and after we had all stepped into the little -boat and Mi-Hy had pushed off, his Majesty was soon chatting affably -with Ho-Lor, who explained that he was a mandarin of the Blue Button, -and ninety-eighth-cousin-twice-removed to the Emperor of China. - -We soon reached the opposite bank, and his Majesty having been -ceremoniously assisted out of the boat, we ascended a slight hill, and -soon found ourselves before Ho-Lor’s residence. To our great surprise -we found that it exactly resembled the building so familiar to all who -have seen a willow-pattern plate. - -The tall pillars at the portico, the quaintly-shaped curly roofs, the -little zig-zag fence running along the path, and the curious trees, all -seemed to be old friends—while two little islands, one of which was -connected to the mainland by a quaint bridge, completed the picture. - -The two birds, which had by this time finished squabbling about the -sandwich, were billing and cooing over our heads, and the sight of them -seemed suddenly to convince us of the identity of the spot. - -“Why, this must be the land of the Willow-pattern plate,” cried his -Majesty excitedly. - -“Yes, it is,” admitted Ho-Lor. “Don’t you think it is a very pretty -spot?” - -“Charming,” declared the Wallypug; “I have often wanted to come here.” - -“The real name of the place,” said Ho-Lor, “is Wer-har-wei, and it is -a portion of China; but come, you must see our little dog; I can hear -that Mi-Hy has gone to fetch him.” - -“His name is Kis-Smee,” said Gra-Shus, “and he is such a dear old -thing. We’ve had him ever since he was a puppy.” - -There was a sound of barking, and a confused clattering of chains, -which told of a dog being unloosed. A moment afterwards there came -bounding out of the house the most extraordinary-looking creature that -I have ever beheld. - -It was a very fat and atrociously hideous animal, bearing but slight -resemblance to a dog. Its enormous mouth wore a perpetual grin, and -was decorated at the corners with curious little scallops. It was -bandy-legged, and its hinder legs were much longer than the front ones. -Added to this, the skin on its haunches was wrinkled up into curious -kind of rosettes, while its tail was really all sorts of shapes. - -[Illustration: “Come along, good dog! come and speak to the pretty -Wallypugs.”—Page 119. - _Wallypugland._] - -This beautiful creature came careering down the steps, dragging Mi-Hy -with him, and was hailed with delight by Gra-Shus, who cried in -endearing tones: - -“Come along, good dog! Come and speak to the pretty Wallypugs. Good -Kis-Smee. Good dog, then!” - -His Majesty clutched my arm nervously, and retreating behind the -carpet-bag, regarded Kis-Smee with a certain amount of suspicion, while -I must confess to having experienced a slight feeling of uneasiness -myself. For if Kis-Smee took it into his ugly head to object to us, -there was no knowing what might be the result. - -There was no occasion for alarm, however, for Kis-Smee turned out to -be one of the mildest and best-behaved of dogs. - -He made great friends with the Wallypug at once, and clumsily gamboled, -or, as his Majesty explained it, “flumped,” about him in the most -friendly manner. - -“He doesn’t take to strangers as a rule,” said Ho-Lor, “but he -certainly seems to have taken a fancy to you.” - -“He is a beautiful creature,” said his Majesty, politely patting the -huge animal a little nervously. - -“Oh! I don’t know about that,” remarked Ho-Lor, looking very pleased -nevertheless. “He is of a very rare breed, though.” - -“What kind of dog do you call him?” I inquired. - -“He’s a smirkler dog,” replied Ho-Lor proudly. - -“A what?” I exclaimed. - -“A smirkler. He smirkles for mivlets you know,” was the reply. - -“Good gracious. What are they?” cried the Wallypug. - -“Mivlets?” asked Ho-Lor. - -[Illustration: “HE IS A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE,” SAID HIS MAJESTY.] - -His Majesty nodded. - -“Why young mivs, of course.” - -“But what are mivs?” asked his Majesty curiously. - -“Things that are smirkled for,” replied Ho-Lor promptly. “But come. I -see that Gra-Shus has prepared some tea for us.” - -We entered the little blue temple and were each presented with a little -blue rug, upon which we sat cross-legged, as we observed that Mi-Hy and -Ho-Lor were doing. Gra-Shus served us in blue cups what tasted like -delicious tea, but which looked exactly like blue ink. No sooner had we -taken a few sips than I noticed that the Wallypug was slowly turning a -light blue color, while at the same moment he stared at me fixedly a -moment, and then exclaimed: “Why, what a funny color you are!” - -I looked at my hands, and found them a rich blue shade. - -“We look like the Oxford and Cambridge boat race, don’t we?” he -continued: “I’m so glad that I’m Cambridge!” - -I did not at all approve of the change, for although we did not look so -very remarkable in the midst of our strange surroundings, I could not -help thinking what an extraordinary object I should be considered in -London if I ever reached that place again. - -“Oh! Aren’t they pretty now?” exclaimed Gra-Shus, clapping her hands -and dancing about excitedly. - -“I am glad you think so,” I replied, in a huff. - -“Don’t you like it? Would you rather have been green? We’ve plenty of -green tea, you know, if you wish.” - -“Thanks! I should prefer being my original color, if you don’t mind,” I -replied. - -“Dear me! I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid we’re out of that color. Let’s -see! Crushed strawberry, wasn’t it?” - -“Oh! let’s stay blue for a little while,” pleaded his Majesty. “It’s -such a change, and so very uncommon, you know!” - -So blue we remained, and directly after we had finished our tea Mi-Hy -brought around the little blue boat again, and we went for a row on the -ornamental lake. - -Somehow or another Kis-Smee was left behind, and although the Wallypug -suggested putting back for him, it was finally decided, however, not to -do so. - -[Illustration: WE WENT FOR A ROW ON THE ORNAMENTAL LAKE.] - -“Perhaps he will smirkle a mivlet while we are away,” said Ho-Lor. - -And I confidently hoped that he might do so, for I was as curious as -was the Wallypug to know what the term meant. - -Just then we passed a curious little blue island with one tiny house on -it, standing in the midst of some curious trees and strangely-shaped -rocks. “Let’s go ashore and fish,” suddenly suggested Mi-Hy. - -“Oh! yes, do,” cried the Wallypug. “I love fishing; but I’m never -allowed to do so in my own land.” - -“Why not?” inquired Ho-Lor. - -“The fishes object,” replied his Majesty, sadly; “they say that it -gives them the tooth-ache.” - -“How absurd of them,” said Ho-Lor, sympathetically. - -“Yes; isn’t it perfectly ridiculous?” replied his Majesty; “for they -really haven’t any teeth, you know.” - -By this time the boat had reached the shore, and we all scrambled out -and assisted Ho-Lor up the steep rocks. - -From within the little blue house Mi-Hy brought some rods and lines, -and we began to fish. There was no bait of any kind, but this Ho-Lor -explained was not necessary. - -Under the circumstances I was not surprised to find that we did not get -a bite for a considerable time. - -At last, however, the Wallypug announced with a delighted shout, “I’ve -got one!” and we all ran over to see what it was. - -Slowly his Majesty wound up his line, while Mi-Hy hung over the rocks -with a landing net. “I’ve got it!” he shouted. “Oh, what a beauty!” and -diving his hand into the net, he drew out—what do you think? An empty -ink-bottle! - -I couldn’t help laughing at his Majesty’s disappointed face, but Ho-Lor -seemed positively to think that it was a catch worth having. “It’s in -capital condition,” he exclaimed, examining it critically, “and has a -beautifully-shaped neck.” - -“But it’s only an old ink bottle,” objected the poor Wallypug. - -“What else did you expect to catch, I should like to know?” said Mi-Hy. -“Some people are never satisfied. Many a time I have fished here a -whole day and only caught a piece of blotting paper or a pen-wiper.” - -“What funny things to catch!” exclaimed the Wallypug. - -“They are very appropriate things to get from a lake of ink,” said -Ho-Lor rather huffily. - -“Oh! I’m sure I beg your pardon, I had no idea it was real ink,” said -his Majesty, apologetically. “I don’t think we had better fish any -longer,” he said putting away his rod. “I hoped to have caught some -real fish, you know.” - -“Never heard of them. What are they?” asked Ho-Lor. - -“Why, things with scales, you know,” exclaimed the Wallypug. - -“Oh, you mean weighing machines,” said Mi-Hy. - -“No! no! I mean—” - -“Hark! what’s that?” said Ho-Lor, putting his hand to his ear. - -“Come on! That’s Kis-Smee barking. I expect he has smirkled a mivlet. -Come along, hurry up, or we shall be too late.” - -We hurriedly launched the little boat, and were soon on our way across -the little lake. - -The sound of furious barking, mingled with a strangely familiar voice, -came from behind Ho-Lor’s house, and hurrying forward we came suddenly -upon a remarkable sight. - -Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to the lower -branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of fright. - -[Illustration: Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to -the lower branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of -fright.—Page 128. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Lie dowd, sir! Lie dowd, good dog, thed!” he shouted, while Kis-Smee -barked and made sudden furious little darts at the fish’s tail. - -“Why, it’s A. Fish, Esq.,” cried his Majesty, hurrying forward -anxiously. “Come away, Kis-Smee! Lie down, sir!” - -Kis-Smee left his quarry in the tree, and came bounding up to the -Wallypug, wagging his great clumsy tail delightedly. - -“Good gracious!” exclaimed Mi-Hy, staring in amazement at A. Fish, Esq. -“That’s not a mivlet, I’m sure—what on earth is the creature?” - -“Oh, that’s A. Fish, Esq., a great friend of mine,” hastily explained -his Majesty, running to his assistance, for when Kis-Smee had left him, -poor A. Fish, Esq., had dropped off the gombobble tree, and was now -lying exhausted on the blue grass beneath. - -“What a dreadful bodster!” he cried, waving Kis-Smee off as we -approached. “Keep hib off. Take hib away!” - -“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, reassuringly, “he won’t bite you -now that we are here.” - -Indeed, directly the dog discovered that A. Fish, Esq., was a friend of -the Wallypug’s, he went up to him, and grinning in an absurd way, held -out a paw to be shaken, which favor, however, was declined by A. Fish, -Esq., who evidently regarded these overtures with a certain amount of -suspicion, and looked greatly relieved when Ho-Lor and Mi-Hy, seeing -that we were engaged with a friend, considerately left us to ourselves, -and took Kis-Smee away with them. - - - - -CHAPTER XI. - -THE WHY AND WER-HAR-WEI RAILWAY. - - -“FANCY seeing you!” cried his Majesty, as we sat down beside the Fish -under the gombobble tree. “How ever did you get here? And what’s the -news at Why?” - -“Oh, thad’s a log story,” said A. Fish, Esq., and proceeded to tell us -how that after we had escaped from Why, by means of the shute, there -had been a great commotion in the place, and the Doctor-in-Law was -furious. He declared that we should not slip through his hands in this -way, and had a long conversation with the Sister-in-Law and the others -as to the best way of affecting our capture. Finally they decided to -attach themselves to a long rope, and come down the shute in pursuit -of us. - -A. Fish, Esq., made the excuse that his cold was too bad to permit him -to join the party, and waited till they had got a good way down, and -then cut the rope. He thought that this would be the best way of being -of service to us. And so it was, of course, for goodness only knows -where our pursuers were by this time. - -A little while after he had cut the rope A. Fish, Esq., came across the -Crow, who told him that he had been informed by two duffer birds (which -was the name of the curious blue birds which we had noticed) that we -were here at Wer-har-wei, and had immediately set about to discover the -best way to get here. - -He went in the first place to the station-master at Why, and found him, -as usual, engaged in squabbling with the porter. - -They were arguing as to whether a certain signal should be up or down. - -The station-master declared that the signal should always be up on the -up line and down on the down line. This the porter would not agree to, -so it was at last decided to put one up and one down and leave them so, -and then the engine-drivers could do as they pleased about going on or -stopping. - -[Illustration: AS USUAL THE STATION-MASTER WAS SQUABBLING WITH THE -PORTER.] - -When they had quite settled this dispute, A. Fish, Esq., had asked them -if there were any trains running between Why and this place, and at -first they had said no; but presently the porter remembered that there -was a certain train which started on some days and went no one knew -where. - -No one was ever known to travel by it, and the engine-driver, who was -an old salamander by the name of Mike, was deaf and dumb, and could -neither read nor write, so that they had never been able to find out -from him where his train went to. It had some letters on it which -corresponded with those on the station-master’s collar, but no one -had ever been able to discover what they meant. They were popularly -supposed to stand for Weary Waiting and Horribly Wobbly Railway, the -initials on the station-master’s collar being W.W.H.W.R., but A. -Fish, Esq., had by a brilliant inspiration come to the conclusion -that they stood for Why and Wer-har-wei Railway, and when the train, -which consisted of only one carriage and the engine, came into the -station, he jumped in, to the intense surprise of Mike, who had never -had a passenger before, and who in his agitation recklessly put two -shovelfuls of coal into the furnace, and, giving a frantic “toot” on -the whistle, started off at full speed. - -“It was a dreadful journey,” said A. Fish, Esq., “ad I dever had so -bedy ups and dowds id all by life.” - -We didn’t quite understand what he meant by this at the moment, but a -little later on we discovered the reason to our cost. - -After an eventful journey, A. Fish, Esq., had arrived at this place, -and had found on alighting from the train that no one was to be seen, -and he was just about to kick at the door of Ho-Lor’s house when -Kis-Smee came bounding out. Poor A. Fish, Esq., had been terribly -alarmed, and had made for the nearest tree, and was vainly trying to -climb up into it when we made our appearance. - -“If I were you,” he advised, “I should certaidly cub back to Why at -odce, for the people all seeb to be rejoiced thad Madame and the -Doctor-id-Law have gode away, ad I think thad they would willingly -forgive you for having said, ‘Ad horse! ad horse! by kigdob for ad -horse!’” - -After talking the matter over for a few minutes we decided that perhaps -it would be the best thing to do, and as the little blue station was -only just at the back of Ho-Lor’s house we thought that perhaps by -hurrying we should catch the same train back to Why by which A. Fish, -Esq., had come. So we set out to try and find the little blue people, -to bid them “good-by,” and thank them for their hospitality. - -We found them at the station sitting beside Mike, to whom it appeared -they were in the habit of being very kind on his occasional visits. - -They seemed quite sorry to hear that we were leaving them so soon, -and insisted upon making the Wallypug a present of Kis-Smee, and of -stuffing into my pocket an enormous gombobble as a souvenir of my -visit. Then there was just time to look at the “train” before we -started. I must say that of all crazy, ramshackle affairs it was quite -the worst that I had ever seen. To begin with, the wheels were all -sorts of shapes, and not one of them was quite round. There was only -one compartment, and that had no windows in it. And the engine! Well, -it was something like Puffing Billy, only a little worse. - -There was no room for Kis-Smee in the carriage, so we were obliged to -chain him up on the roof, evidently much to his disgust. - -I must confess to a certain feeling of uneasiness when, having taken -our seats, the engine gave a snort, and puffing out a volume of dense -black smoke and smuts, started us on our journey. - -By reason of the odd shape of our wheels and the unevenness of the -rails the carriage pitched and tossed about like a ship at sea, and our -passage over a little wooden viaduct, where on either side the little -blue people stood waving their adieux with quaint little flags, was, I -am convinced, attended with considerable danger. - -It was really a dreadful journey. The carriage pitched backward and -forward, and rolled from side to side with every revolution of the -wheels, while poor Kis-Smee, on the top, kept slipping about in the -most painful manner. His Majesty’s carpet-bag, which had not been -securely fastened to the top of the carriage, slipped off soon after we -started, and though we rang the bell violently Mike refused to stop, -and it was lost forever. - -“Fortunately there was not much in it!” his Majesty gasped between -the jerks which the irregular motion of the train occasioned. “Only a -tooth-brush and small cake of soap.” - -[Illustration: The carriage pitched backward and rolled from side to -side.—Page 138. - _Wallypugland._] - -“But it felt quite full,” I remarked in surprise. - -“Yes,” explained his Majesty. “I stuffed it full of paper and things, -because I thought that it would look so bad for a king to be traveling -about without any luggage.” - -Just then there was a yelp and a howl from Kis-Smee, and looking out -of the window we found that the poor creature had fallen from the roof -and was hanging down by the chain which was attached to the top of the -carriage, and was in momentary danger of being strangled. - -We managed, after a prolonged struggle, to haul him in through the -window, and, although we were rather crowded, to find room for him in -the carriage. We had hardly settled down into our places, however, -before the train came to a standstill, and Mike came to the door in a -great state of agitation. - -“Av yez plaze, sor,” he began. - -“Why! I thought you were deaf and dumb,” I cried. - -“Och—that’s all gammon sure—oi can talk all roight, and hear all -roight too when it suits me purpose. Well, now, ye see when the dog -fell off the roof he upset me coal-scuttle, and never a bit of coal is -there left. Would ye be good enough, kind gentlemen, to go back and -pick some up off the line, it’s only about a moile and a half back.” - -The engine, it appeared, could not be reversed, and, as there was no -chance of getting a supply anywhere else, nothing remained but for his -Majesty and myself to go back with the coal-scuttle and pick some of -the spilt coal up. - -Kis-Smee bounded delightedly at our side; but we did not take A. Fish, -Esq., with us, as he complained of a pain in his tail, and we feared -that the long walk might make it worse. - -“I shall amuse byself while you are away by giving Bike ad elocutiod -lessod,” he said, as we left him. - -But Mike, who was undoing his bundle preparatory to having some dinner, -did not look very enthusiastic over the project, and I am almost -certain I heard him mutter, “Not if I know it,” as we were walking away. - -We found the coal, as we expected, beside the line, after we had walked -a little over a mile, and his Majesty and myself picked it up, and -packing it in the scuttle, took turns in carrying it back to the train -again. - -We had nearly arrived at the spot where the train was waiting for us, -when his Majesty noticed some curious flowers growing in a little copse -beside the line, and we put down our coal-scuttle and went to gather -them. While we were doing so, however, we heard a wild shout, and -looking up beheld an enormously tall and thin man running towards us, -gesticulating violently. - -He was waving some wire and leather dog muzzles in one hand. - -[Illustration: THE TALL THIN MAN WAS WAVING SOME MUZZLES.] - -“Where’s his muzzle?” he demanded, pointing to Kis-Smee. “Can’t you see -the dog is mad and must be muzzled immediately?” - -“I’m sure he’s not,” cried the Wallypug, indignantly, and patting -Kis-Smee’s head. - -“He is,” declared the man. “All dogs are mad, and I insist upon them -being muzzled.” - -“Very well,” I interposed. “You had better try and put a muzzle on this -one yourself.” - -“Oh! I’ll soon do that,” cried the man, selecting a large muzzle from -the collection which he carried with him. “Come here, sir! Good dog, -then.” - -Kis-Smee growled, and grinning more than ever made a dart at the man, -who dropped his muzzles and fled, screaming, “Mad dog! Mad dog!” at the -top of his voice. - -His Majesty and myself, laughing heartily at his discomfiture, hurried -back to the train without meeting with any further adventures. - -A. Fish, Esq., and Mike seemed to be rather cool towards each other, I -thought, and I heard afterwards that they had not got on at all well -with the “elocution” lesson—in fact, Mike had absolutely refused to be -instructed in that very necessary art. - -Of course we told them of our adventure with the man in the wood, and -Mike explained that he was well known as “The Long Man of Muzzledom,” -and was quite harmless, though rather silly, being under the impression -that all dogs and cats were mad and should be muzzled. - -“Well, he didn’t muzzle Kis-Smee, anyhow,” said his Majesty, as we took -our seats in the carriage, and the train once more started for Why. - -After several hours of bumping and jolting, we were delighted to see -the familiar towers and gables of his Majesty’s palace in the distance, -and knew that we had at last arrived at the end of our journey. - - - - -CHAPTER XII. - -BACK AGAIN AT WHY. - - -KIS-SMEE was overjoyed to get out of the train, and eagerly strained at -the chain which his Majesty had affixed to his collar, in his endeavor -to get through the barrier. - -The porter, however, who pretended not to know us, demanded our tickets. - -“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, smilingly. “I’m the Wallypug, you -know.” - -“Nonsense,” said the porter. “The Wallypug was ugly enough, goodness -knows, but he hadn’t a _blue_ face like you; besides, Wallypug or no -Wallypug, you don’t get through here without a ticket, I can tell you.” - -Here was a pretty pickle. We had not thought in the least about -tickets, and in fact had no idea that any would be required. - -“I certainly shan’t let you pass the barrier without,” said the porter, -in answer to our explanations. - -“But what are we to do?” asked the Wallypug. “Can’t we pay at this end?” - -“Certainly not. My instructions are to demand a ticket of every one -passing this barrier, and unless you give me one you cannot go through.” - -“But I tell you we haven’t any. Can’t you tell us what to do?” - -“Go back for them, I should say,” said the porter, yawning -unconcernedly. “Now then, one thing or another. Are you going to give -me the tickets or not?” - -“How can we give them to you if we haven’t any?” demanded the Wallypug. -The porter slammed the door to impatiently, and went a little way up -the platform, turning around to call out warningly, “If we find any -suspicious-looking characters hanging about the station premises we -shoot them.” - -[Illustration: THE PORTER DEMANDED OUR TICKETS.] - -“What nonsense!” cried the Wallypug, rattling and kicking the gate. -“We can’t stop here all day. Let’s call the station-master. Hi! hi! -station-master!” he shouted. - -No one answered for a few minutes, but eventually a door some little -distance up the platform opened, and the old station-master made his -appearance, puffing and blowing, and followed by the porter, carrying a -huge blunderbuss. - -“Now then, what’s all this noise about?” he demanded. - -“We want to get out, if you please,” said the Wallypug. - -“Where are your tickets,” demanded the station-master. - -“We are very sorry,” I began in explanation. - -“Hold your tongue, and speak when you are spoken to,” interrupted the -station-master. - -“Where are your tickets?” - -“They haven’t any,” explained the porter officiously. “They are trying -to defraud the company.” - -“H’m, funny-looking lot of people, too,” remarked the station-master. -“Who are they, do you know?” - -“That,” said the porter, pointing to his Majesty, “says he is the -Wallypug.” - -“What! _that_ color!” objected the station-master. “The Wallypug! -Indeed, what nonsense!” - -“But, indeed, I am the Wallypug,” declared his Majesty, “and we turned -this color after we drank the tea, you know.” - -“Turned blue through drinking tea!” said the station-master -incredulously. - -“Ha! ha! a _likely_ story,” laughed the porter derisively. - -“Perhaps it will wear off in time,” said the Wallypug, “like being -sunburnt does.” - -“Very well then, you had better stop here till it does,” said the -station-master. “Look here!” he cried, turning to the porter, “you stop -here at the barrier, and don’t let them through until they have turned -a respectable color, and you can recognize them.” - -“But it may take weeks,” began his Majesty. - -“Hold your tongue!” said the station-master sharply. “If you have any -nonsense with them, shoot them,” he added to the porter, depositing the -blunderbuss beside the barrier, and going back to the other end of the -platform. - -Whatever we should have done I cannot think, if just at that moment the -porter’s wife had not put her head out of the signal-box and called to -him to “come in at once and mind the baby,” while she “did a little -shopping.” - -“But he’s on duty, ma’am,” expostulated the station-master. - -“I don’t care anything about _that;_ you come in at once, Bill,” -shouted the woman, and the porter meekly left the barrier and -disappeared within the signal-box. - -Of course we all rushed through the gate at once, and the -station-master catching sight of Kis-Smee, who had meanwhile slipped -his chain, fled up the platform in dismay. - -Kis-Smee, evidently thinking him fair game, started off in pursuit, -and it was not till the station-master had bolted into his office and -locked the door that we could get him to come back to our call. - -[Illustration: FLED UP THE PLATFORM IN DISMAY.] - -So soon as we got into the street we met the Turtle and the Pelican, -walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette. - -“Hullo, Wallypug!” exclaimed the Pelican. “Why, we thought you were at -Wei-hai-wei.” - -“Wer-har-wei, you mean,” laughed his Majesty. - -“It’s all the same,” announced the Pelican. “Well, how have you been -getting on?” - -His Majesty explained as briefly as possible the adventures we had -passed through, and then inquired how affairs were progressing at Why. - -“Oh, not very well, I’m afraid,” said the Pelican. “You see, there -has been no one to take the lead since you’ve been away. We tried a -Republican form of government, and elected Oom-Hi as president, but he -became so extravagant—wanted a new top-hat every day, and insisted on -a gilded coach to ride in; and at last we caught him tampering with the -public funds, so we had to dismiss him. Have you heard about Broncho?” - -“No,” said his Majesty. - -“Well, it didn’t answer as a cough mixture, so Oom-Hi turned it into a -patent meat extract, and called it Vimbril, and it killed ever so many -people.” - -“Indeed!” exclaimed the Wallypug, anxiously. “Any one I know?” - -“Madame and a few other folk,” was the reply; “and the Doctor-in-Law is -not expected to recover.” - -“Good gracious! Why, we thought them at the other end of the world. -However did they get back to Why again?” - -“Oh, they sent us a cablegram when they got to China, and we let down -an enormously long rope and pulled them up the shute again, you know. -But it was a very long journey, and they had nothing to eat on the -way. So as soon as we hauled them up we gave them each a large dose of -Vimbril. Madame expired at once,” he added, with a sob. - -The tears were streaming down the Turtle’s nose as he sympathetically -joined in the Pelican’s weeping. - -“What about the Doctor-in-Law?” inquired his Majesty, solicitously. - -“Oh, he has a very strong constitution, you know, and he may pull -through. We’ve got him back at the palace in his old quarters.” - -“Poor fellow! Poor fellow!” said the Wallypug, sympathetically. “Let’s -go and see what we can do for him.” - -I thought this very kind of his Majesty, considering all he had -suffered through the Doctor-in-Law’s ingratitude; but the good-hearted -little fellow was full of sympathy, and hurried towards the palace with -all speed. - - - - -CHAPTER XIII. - -A NEW STATE OF AFFAIRS. - - -“OH my! Good gracious me!” exclaimed a voice as we approached the -entrance to the palace and looking up we beheld the Cockatoo perched -on a window-sill. “Just look at these creatures. _What_ a color. Why, -why,” she exclaimed, peering at us closely, “I’m bothered if it isn’t -the Wallypug and the Hatless Man, and the great Mr. A. Fish, Esq. Where -have you been? What did you come back for? What do you want?” she -screamed. - -“It’s dud of your busidess,” replied A. Fish, Esq., shortly. - -“Oh! isn’t it,” said the Cockatoo furiously. “I’ll soon show you -whether it’s none of my business or not. To begin with, the Wallypug -and the headless traitor”— - -“Do you mean me?” I interrupted, “because I am not headless yet, you -know.” - -[Illustration: “WHAT A COLOR!” EXCLAIMED THE COCKATOO.] - -“Headless, or hatless, it’s all the same,” said the Cockatoo, “you -might as well run about without your head for all the good it is to -you,” she added insolently. “Well you two are escaped prisoners,” she -ran on, “and I shall see that you are locked up again, so there.” - -“But it was all a mistake,” said His Majesty mildly. - -“What was?” yelled the bird. - -“What I said about a ’horse a horse, my kingdom for a horse!’ you -know,” said the Wallypug. - -“Why don’t you say what you mean then?” cried the Cockatoo. “Well, I -shall have you locked up anyhow. Here, Crocodile,” she shouted, “just -come and arrest these creatures will you?” - -“Shan’t!” replied a voice from within; “who are you ordering about. If -you want them arrested, do it yourself. I’m not going to do as _you_ -tell me, so there! besides, all the prisoners have been set free that -Madame sentenced, you know that well enough?” - -“Yah! Down with him, down with Crocodiles; down with pale-blue -Wallypugs and hatless men; down with fishes of all sorts. Down with -everybody and everything; down with——.” - -We did not stop to hear any more of her ravings, but passed through and -up into the Doctor-in-Law’s old rooms. - -We found him looking very weak and ill, but he recognized us all, and -held out his hand to the Wallypug, who told him encouragingly that he -would soon be well again. - -“Yes, ad thed I’ll teach you elocutiod for dothig,” promised A. Fish, -Esq. - -The Doctor-in-Law smiled faintly, and whispered that what was keeping -him back most was the thought of the heavy doctor’s bill which he would -have to pay when he got better. - -The good-natured little Wallypug made him very happy by promising to -pay this amount for him, and we left the little man looking very much -brighter than when we entered. - -[Illustration: We found the Doctor-in-Law looking very weak and ill, -but he recognized us all and held out his hand to the Wallypug.—Page -158. - _Wallypugland._] - -The rest of the morning was spent in his Majesty’s private apartments, -discussing all sorts of plans for the future, for, as the Wallypug very -properly remarked, now that the Mother-in-Law had gone he should have a -freer hand in the administration of affairs. - -A. Fish, Esq., busied himself in preparing an elaborate lecture, -which he said he would deliver in public on the morrow, on the -“Unreasonableness of Misunderstandability,” and which would, he hoped, -clearly explain away the mistake which had been made, in accusing his -Majesty of treason, in connection with his unfortunate recitation of “A -horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!” - -While we were thus busily engaged there came an impatient -tap-tap-tapping at the door, and on opening it we beheld the Crow -looking more disreputably untidy than ever. He carried a large bundle -of papers and a quill pen. “Ahem!” he began importantly, “I call on -behalf of the _Daily Whyer_ a new paper which I have just established, -and which I am happy to say has already an enormous circulation in Why. -It is very cheap (four copies for a penny), and contains an enormous -amount of totally unreliable information; besides which there is a page -devoted to domestic matters, highly interesting to ladies, and includes -receipts for artistically furnishing your house with old tea chests -and soap boxes, painted with enamel and draped with art muslin; there -are also several poems weekly on the subject of ‘Baby’s Little Socks,’ -which are immensely popular with some people, here is one of them,” he -cried, turning to the back page of his paper, a copy of which he had -with him. - - “Oh! the baby’s little socks, - Darling baby’s little socks; - When the kettle’s softly steaming, - When the firelight’s glow is gleaming, - And I’m sitting idly dreaming, - Whisper gently, ‘baby’s socks.’ - - “Oh the darling little socks; - Baby’s _baby’s_ little socks; - Toys that baby fingers scatter, - Little feet that pitter-patter, - Tittle tongues—but there—no matter, - Let’s get back to baby’s socks.” - -“There,” he concluded triumphantly, “what do you think of that?” - -“Well, I don’t wish to be rude,” I remarked, “but I certainly think -it’s the greatest rubbish I’ve ever heard in all my life.” - -“Rubbish!” he exclaimed, “Why all the ladies who read the _Daily Whyer_ -think it _beautiful_. I have to get the same gentleman to write verses -like that nearly every day.” - -“Do you mean to tell me,” I replied, “that a man writes such twaddle as -that.” - -“Oh! you’re jealous, that’s what’s the matter with you. A man write -them? of course he does.” - -“And do you pay him for these precious contributions,” I exclaimed in -surprise. - -“I _promise_ to pay him ever so much a year,” said the Crow, -“but—er—ahem—I have a very bad memory. I have several contributors -whom I pay on the same system, it’s a very _cheap_ way,” he sniffled. -“I’ve copied it from a contemporary.” - -“Well, we’re very busy just dow,” said A. Fish, Esq., “would you bind -telling us your busidess ad goig, because we wandt to ged to work -agaid.” - -“Oh! to tell you the truth,” said the Crow, “I wanted to know if the -Wallypug would let me print an interview with him in to-morrow’s paper. -You have just returned from Wer-har-wei, I believe, haven’t you; I was -sitting on the signal post at the station just now and saw you arrive. -I think my readers would be very interested in hearing your impressions -of the country.” - -I took his Majesty aside and pointed out to him that very possibly an -interview with him appearing in the paper would have a good effect on -his people, and he could use it as a means of advertising the reforms -he intended making in the government of the land; and his Majesty -agreeing with me on the point, he seated himself comfortably in his own -particular chair, and the Crow, perching on the back of another, the -interview began. - -“Let’s see,” said the Crow, making a great spluttering with his pen, -which was cross-nibbed and broken. “When were you born?” - -“Well, really,” said his Majesty, “I, er—was so young at the time that -I scarcely remember.” - -“Oh, well, I’ll put it down as Y. D. 987; that will do as well as any -other date.” - -“Why Y. D.?” I inquired, curiously. - -“Year of disgrace,” was the prompt reply. “Bless me! this must be a -Post Office pen,” he went on, as the pen scattered the ink about in all -directions. “They are always bad, you know.” Then, having asked the -Wallypug no end of questions, not only about our journey, but on all -sorts of private matters also, the wretched-looking bird gathered up -his papers, which were covered with unintelligible blots and scratches -and scattered in all parts of the room, and, tucking them under his -wing, departed, to have the matter set up in print. - -[Illustration: “THIS MUST BE A POST OFFICE PEN,” SAID THE CROW.] - - - - -CHAPTER XIV. - -“GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION.” - - -THE Crow had scarcely left the room when there was another knock, and -without waiting for a reply the Cockatoo burst into the room in a fine -fluster. She was followed by the Kangaroo and Oom Hi. - -“Look at them! _Look at them!_” she blurted out, “did you ever see such -objects in all your life. What a color!” - -“Hm! Eggshell blue,” said the Kangaroo, examining the Wallypug -critically. “Very extraordinary tint. Never seen a face that shade -before.” - -“The other one is worse,” declared the Cockatoo, pointing at me -derisively. “I always knew he was something disreputable. I believe,” -she added, sinking her voice into a hoarse whisper, “I believe he has -let himself out as an advertisement for Stephen’s Blue-black Ink, or -Ricket’s Paris Blue. What depravity. Down with him! Duck him in the -pond! Scrub him with sandpaper! Boil him!” and so she went on. - -“What’s all this bother about?” I exclaimed. “Don’t you see that his -Majesty is engaged. If you don’t immediately go about your business I -will have you put out of the room.” - -“Oh! will you indeed,” exclaimed the Cockatoo excitedly, “I should like -to see you attempt it. It strikes me that _you_ are the one that will -be put out. We can stand a good deal down here, but a hatless object -with a _blue_ face. Ough!” - -“Here, come and do your duty,” she shouted, going to the door, and the -two Crocodiles entered and caught hold of me roughly by the collar. -“Bring them out into the courtyard,” shouted the infuriated bird, and -before I could protest I was bundled unceremoniously out of the house -by the Crocodiles, the Kangaroo and Oom Hi following with the Wallypug. - -[Illustration: “Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. “You’re putting it -all in my eyes. Oh, ach! do-o-n’t! Stop! I say, _do_ leave off.”—Page -167. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Now then,” said the Cockatoo, stopping before a large tub of water -which stood on the ground, “see what soap and water will do.” - -The Kangaroo rummaged about and discovered a small hard piece of yellow -soap, and Oom Hi brought forth a good sized sponge, and together they -gave the poor little Wallypug such a scrubbing as I should think he had -never had before in all his life. - -“Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. “You’re putting it all in my -eyes. Oh, ach! do-o-on’t! Stop! I say, _do_ leave off. Ough!” - -The poor little fellow was nearly choked. - -Oom Hi sponged the soap away and the Cockatoo stared critically at the -poor Wallypug, who stood there with the water streaming from his face -and the tips of his fingers. - -“Hasn’t done the slightest good,” she declared; “better scrape him with -a putty knife, I think.” - -“Stop a minute!” said the Kangaroo, “I have it,” and he went up and -whispered something in Oom Hi’s ear. - -“Capital! capital! go and fetch a bottle,” cried Oom Hi, and the -Kangaroo rushed off, returning a minute later with a large bottle -marked Vimbril. - -“Oh! don’t! don’t!” cried the poor Wallypug. “I’m not going to take any -of that stuff. It killed the lady who called herself my Sister-in-Law -you know, and it made the Doctor-in-Law ill. Take it away.” - -“Of course you are not going to take any, Wallypug,” said Oom Hi -soothingly, “but there will be no harm in trying the effect upon your -complexion. It _might_ make you the proper color again you know, and -in that case I could alter the name and call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ and -advertise it well; no doubt it would be a great success. Put some on -the sponge,” he continued, holding it out to the Kangaroo, who poured -out some of the nasty looking stuff. - -“No! no! don’t. Ough!” shuddered his Majesty, but despite his protests -his face was well rubbed with the fluid. - -“Worse than ever, he’s light brown now,” said the Cockatoo. - -“Oh! wipe it off! wipe it off,” implored the Wallypug. - -“No!” said Oom Hi, who seemed very greatly disappointed at the -non-success of his experiment, “let it dry on.” - -“We had better put him in the stocks,” he declared, “to prevent him -from rubbing it off.” So the poor little Wallypug was led off to the -stocks and securely fastened in, with his hands spread out to dry, and -with strict injunctions not to move till he was told. - -[Illustration: HIS MAJESTY IN THE STOCKS.] - -The last view that I had of his Majesty was of the poor little fellow, -utterly worn out with his exertions, meekly sitting in the stocks and -falling into an uneasy slumber, from which, however, he was frequently -awakened by the bees and flies, which, attracted by the sticky stuff on -his face and hands, flocked around him as though he were a pot of jam. - -“We might keep _this_ as a curiosity,” said the Cockatoo, turning her -attention to me next. “Put in a cage with a large label, ‘Blue-faced -and hatless man, Dangerous!’ he ought to be an attraction to our -menagerie. I think that’s what we’ll do with him,” and despite -my struggles and protests I was ignominiously marched off by the -Crocodiles, who continued to make rude and personal remarks about my -appearance all the way to the dungeon, where it appeared I was to spend -my time till a cage could be prepared for me. - -Of course I was terribly indignant at my treatment, but was absolutely -powerless to prevent it And the only thing that I could do when the -Crocodiles had left me alone, after a few parting jeers, was to -consider the best way of effecting my escape. - -[Illustration: MADE RUDE AND PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT MY APPEARANCE.] - -I was pondering seriously upon this question, when suddenly I -remembered the Gombobble with which the little blue people had -presented me when I left Wer-har-wei. Taking it from my pocket I idly -wondered if it were good to eat or not. It felt soft and looked -something like a huge blue orange or a melon; getting out my penknife -I plunged it in and cut the fruit open. Inside was a white juicy pulp -which looked very tempting, so trusting to its being good to eat I took -a bite. - -It was delicious! - -I took another bite, and then, happening to look at my hands, I -discovered to my great delight that they were regaining their proper -color. - -“Come, this is better,” I cried, tackling a third piece; and then -suddenly remembering the poor Wallypug, I carefully cut the Gombobble -in half and put part of it aside for his Majesty, and was just about to -eat another little piece myself, when, happening to look up, I caught -sight of Mr. Nobody from Nowhere, squeezing through the bars of my -dungeon window. - -He was as smiling and happy as ever, and made me an elaborate bow with -an elegant flourish, and then looked so very knowing that I felt sure -that he had something important to communicate. - - - - -CHAPTER XV. - -“WALLYPUG’S BLUSH LIMITED.” - - -“HOW do you do?” I began. - -The little fellow bowed and smiled and brought forth a scrap of paper -and a pencil. - -On the paper he wrote, “Quite well thanks, how are you?” and added the -words, “Can I be of any service to you?” - -I pondered a moment, and then recollected that he would be a capital -medium of communication between the Wallypug and myself. - -“Do you know where the stocks are?” I inquired. - -Mr. Nobody nodded vigorously. - -“His Majesty the Wallypug is there,” I ventured. - -Mr. Nobody nodded again very energetically, and I could see that he -knew all about it. Moreover he wrote on his paper, “Poor Wallypug!” and -looked most sympathetic. - -“Would you like to help him?” I inquired. - -The little man nodded again, and seemed quite delighted at the prospect. - -Handing him the half of the Gombobble which I had reserved for his -Majesty, I said, “Take this to the Wallypug immediately and, _if he is -quite alone_, tell him to eat it all, and on no account to tell any one -how he became possessed of it.” - -Mr. Nobody nodded to show that he understood, and, taking the piece -of Gombobble, he squeezed through the bars of my cell, and was soon -running off in the direction of the stocks. - -I awaited his return with some anxiety, and was delighted to see when -he did come back, that his face was beaming with delight. - -[Illustration: MR. NOBODY NODDED.] - -“His Majesty has regained his complexion, and is very grateful to you,” -he wrote hurriedly, clapping his hands and capering about. - -“Now go and tell Oom Hi and the Kangaroo, and if they come to the -conclusion that his Majesty’s complexion has been restored through -using the stuff they call ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ don’t say anything to the -contrary; it will put them into a good temper and perhaps make them -kinder to his Majesty.” - -Mr. Nobody seemed quite to understand and hurried off again. He did not -come back, but about half an hour afterwards there was a noise at the -door of my cell, and after a great deal of fumbling at the lock, Oom Hi -and the Kangaroo entered. - -Oom Hi carried a basin and the Kangaroo a bottle of Vimbril, or -Wallypug’s Blush, as it was now called. - -They looked very amiable, and after some kind remarks about the weather -Oom Hi cleared his throat and said in a sort of apologetic voice: - -[Illustration: OOM HI CARRIED A BASIN, AND THE KANGAROO A BOTTLE OF -VIMBRIL.] - -“Er, we didn’t mean to be _too_ severe, you know, and what we have -done has been all for the best. You will be pleased to hear that my -invaluable preparation, ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ has proved perfectly -satisfactory, and his Majesty the Wallypug is a living testimony to -its worth. His beautiful complexion has entirely returned, and I have -no doubt if we could persuade you to use it too it would be equally -successful in your case. You will try it, won’t you?” he pleaded -earnestly. - -“Of course if my complexion, such as it is, is restored, I shall be -released from here?” I hazarded. - -“Oh! certainly,” said both animals at once, and so after -surreptitiously devouring the remainder of the Gombobble, I permitted -the creatures to smear my face over with their precious rubbish on the -distinct understanding that I should be allowed to have a good wash -afterwards. - -The Gombobble acted perfectly, and the animals were delighted when they -saw the result, as they of course put it down to the effect of their -“Wallypug’s Blush.” - -“Go and fetch the Cockatoo,” said Oom Hi, “she shall judge for -herself.” - -So the Kangaroo went off to fetch her. - -“Wonderful preparation, isn’t it?” said Oom Hi, gazing affectionately -at his bottle of “Wallypug’s Blush.” - -“Very!” I remarked. - -“I _knew_ it must be good for something or another,” he went on, “but -of course we could not tell exactly what till we had tried. It _very -nearly_ cured a cold once, you know, when I called it Broncho, though I -am bound to admit that it was not exactly a success as Vimbril. Do you -think ‘Wallypug’s Blush’ a good title,” he asked anxiously. - -“It’s a very striking one,” I admitted. - -“I shall advertise it well in the _Daily Whyer_, you know, and—Oh! -here comes the Cockatoo,” he added, as that bird came bustling into the -cell. - -“Now then, what’s this I hear?” she began, giving me a keen glance; -“‘Wallypug’s Blush’ restored your complexion. Why so it has, though I -cannot say much for it even now. However, since you have no longer a -blue face you are scarcely likely to be valuable as a curiosity, so you -had better get about your business,” and, flinging open the door, the -Cockatoo motioned me out with her crutched stick. - -You may be sure I was not long in availing myself of my liberty and -hurrying to the spot where I had last seen his Majesty. - -The stocks were empty, but a little further off I found A. Fish, Esq., -who seemed delighted to see me. - -“Well I dever!” he exclaimed; “I heard you were going to be exhibited -as a freak. What stories people do tell, to be sure.” - -I briefly explained what had happened and inquired if he knew where the -Wallypug was. - -“Oh yes, he’s gode back to the Palace,” said A. Fish, Esq. “He’s id a -rare way aboudt you.” - -So I thought it best, in order to relieve his Majesty’s anxiety, to -seek him there. - -It was now getting dusk, and seeing a light in his Majesty’s private -apartments, I went up and knocked at the door. - -“Come in!” cried a voice which I had no difficulty in recognizing, and -on opening the door I found the good little man pacing to and fro in a -state of great agitation. - -“Oh! it’s you,” he exclaimed in a relieved voice, and came forward to -welcome me eagerly. “I was just wondering how on earth I could get you -out of the Cockatoo’s clutches; she’s a wretched creature, isn’t she?” - -“Well she is a trial, certainly,” I agreed, “and I think if I were -you I should adopt some very strong measures for preventing her from -interfering as she does.” - -“Hm! yes,” said his Majesty, “let’s go and hear what the Doctor-in-Law -has to say about it; he may be able to advise us as to the best way of -putting her down, and though he will probably charge pretty stiffly for -it, his advice _is_ worth having sometimes.” - -So we went together to the Doctor-in-Law’s room. - -We were surprised to hear several voices talking excitedly within, and -when in reply to a rather impatient “Come in!” we opened the door, -we were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his dressing-gown and -slippers, in busy consultation with Oom Hi, the Kangaroo, and the -Cockatoo. - -“I’ve been greatly interested in hearing of the success of ‘Wallypug’s -Blush,’” said the little man, “and am just helping Oom Hi (ahem, for a -consideration) to draw up a prospectus for turning it into a Limited -Company. In consideration of the payment to me of several thousands -of pounds, I am about to become a director, and am to be paid several -thousands more for persuading the Cockatoo to join the board too.” - -[Illustration: We were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his -dressing-gown and slippers, in busy consultation with Oom-Hi, the -Kangaroo, and the Cockatoo.—Page 184. - _Wallypugland._] - -“But,” I objected, “what do you claim that ‘Wallypug’s Blush’ does?” - -“Oh, it restores people with blue complexions to their natural color, -you know.” - -“But surely there will be a very limited sale,” I said; “there cannot -be very many people with blue faces, you know.” - -“Oh, _of course_, you must try and spoil everything with your absurd -objections,” said the Cockatoo crossly. - -“Yes, I really don’t see that your contention has much weight,” said -the Doctor-in-Law. “Provided it is only advertised enough, the public -will buy _any_ rubbish, whether it does what it professes to do or not. -And we shall simply call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush _for the complexion_,’ -you know; besides, even if it doesn’t answer, we can turn it into -something else, Boot Polish or Hair Wash, you know.” - -And so seeing them so busily and enthusiastically engaged in the -business of drawing up the prospectus, we said good-night and retired -to our rooms. - - - - -CHAPTER XVI. - -“AU REVOIR.” - - -THE next morning all was excitement at the palace. The news of our -return had spread abroad, and in the morning copy of the _Daily Whyer_, -which his Majesty found on the breakfast-table when we went down, a -full and, I must say, surprisingly accurate account of the interview -appeared, together with the information that his Majesty would attend -Parliament in state in the afternoon, and that an address from the -throne would be read, in which certain changes in the Government would -be suggested. There was also a paragraph about A. Fish, Esquire’s, -lecture upon the “Unreasonableness of ability,” which the editor -advised everybody to try and hear. - -His Majesty was in quite a fluster, and we spent several hours in -preparing an elaborate written speech which he was to read out in -the afternoon; and then, having settled this and other matters to -our satisfaction, we took Kis-Smee out for a little walk just before -luncheon. - -One of the first persons we met was the Crocodile at the Lodge. He -looked once or twice at his Majesty, as if in doubt, and then at -Kis-Smee. - -On seeing the latter his eyes sparkled, and he came up and spoke at -once. - -“Hullo, Wallypug!” he began unceremoniously. - -His Majesty bowed, a little distantly I thought. - -“_What_ a fine fat dog!” exclaimed the Crocodile, pointing to Kis-Smee. -“Is he for sale?” - -“Certainly not,” said the Wallypug. - -The Crocodile sighed. “Just my luck,” he remarked, “I love dogs and I -should so enjoy taking this one home to tea with me. Perhaps you will -let him visit me sometimes. What’s his name?” - -[Illustration: “OH! REALLY, WALLYPUG, THIS IS SO SUDDEN.”] - -“Kis-Smee,” said his Majesty. - -“Oh! really Wallypug, this is so sudden,” said the Crocodile, smirking, -“I’d no idea you were so affectionate. I’m so bashful, too. I couldn’t -really think of kissing you in public.” - -“No, no!” explained his Majesty hastily—“Kis-Smee is the dog’s name; -you asked me what his name was, you know.” - -“Oh!” said the Crocodile, looking greatly disappointed. “I -misunderstood you. Very sorry, I’m sure. Well, what are you going to do -now?” - -His Majesty told him of the meeting in the afternoon, and the Crocodile -promised to come. - -“That is,” he added, “if I may bring my invalid with me.” - -“Who is that?” asked the Wallypug. - -“Oh! a very feeble old joke I’ve got staying with me,” said the -Crocodile. “I could bring him in the perambulator, you know—the one I -used to wheel the weak cup of tea about in—he’s such a nice old man.” - -“What is he, did you say?” asked his Majesty. - -“An old joke,” repeated the Crocodile, “his name is Joe Miller, and -he eats nothing but chestnuts, and even they have to be very ancient -before he can digest them. Oh! he’s a character, I can tell you. Make -you die of laughing the _first_ time you meet him; but as he always -says the same thing over and over again—for hours and hours, he is -rather trying at times. However, I will bring him along, and you can -judge for yourself.” - -We left the Crocodile then and went back to luncheon—after which we -set out for the House of Words. - -We found that quite a lot of Creatures were waiting in the lobby for -the doors to open. - -There was the Doctor-in-Law, telling a funny story to the Pig, -for which he afterwards made a charge of one pound nineteen and -elevenpence, describing it as _Professional Attendance_—and wording -the bill as follows: - - To One pig, one guinea (guinea-pig), £1 1 0 - “Laugh and grow fat,” one joke, 0 6 8 - ———————— - £1 19 11 - -And to the Mole, who happened to overhear the joke, he made another -charge; but the Mole got out of paying for it on the plea that he -_couldn’t see it_; but whether he meant the bill or the joke I could -never find out, Moles are notoriously blind. - -Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, Esq., listened, -open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of affairs. - -The Cockatoo, irrepressible as ever, held forth on the subject of -Socialism to an interested audience, consisting of the Crocodile -and the Rabbit. While the Crow filled in a few spare moments by -interviewing the Pelican. The Creatures stood aside very politely to -allow his Majesty and myself to enter, Kis-Smee growling ominously at -the Cockatoo, who screamed, “Down with domestic animals,” as he passed. -This remark of hers gave offense to the Pig also, who demanded to know -if she was referring to him. - -[Illustration: Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, -Esq., listened, open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of -affairs.—Page 192. - _Wallypugland._] - -“Of course not,” replied the Cockatoo; “you’re not a domestic animal, -are you?” - -“Sure an I am that same in me own counthry,” said the Pig, who was -evidently of Irish descent. - -“Och down with the dirthy landlords thin,” screamed the Cockatoo, which -caused the Pig to laugh and put him in a good temper again. - -“I couldn’t bring the old joke along after all,” whispered the -Crocodile to me, as we squeezed through the door; “he is more feeble -than ever.” “How’s Kis-Smee?” - -“Quite well, I think, thank you,” I replied. - -“Isn’t he delightfully fat,” whispered the Crocodile, smacking his -lips. “About three nice large mouthfuls, I should say,” he concluded -mysteriously, winking one eye at me. - -I haven’t the remotest idea what he meant, and besides I hadn’t time to -think about it then, for the meeting was about to commence. - -We all found seats, and A. Fish, Esq., being called upon to -open the proceedings, he commenced his learned treatise upon the -“Unreasonableness of Misunderstandability.” - -What it was all about I haven’t the remotest idea, for what with his -extraordinary way of talking, and the continual interruptions of the -animals, who would keep shouting, “Hear! hear!” “Question!” “Withdraw!” -“Order! order!” etc., at all kinds of odd moments, I could not hear -a word that was being said. Moreover, the hall was unaccountably hot -and stuffy, and for some time I had the greatest difficulty in keeping -awake; and at last my head sank down and I dozed off, awaking at -intervals when the Cockatoo was unusually energetic; but at last even -her voice was silenced, and I remember no more till I awoke with a -start, and found myself, to my great dismay, back again in my own study -in London. - -I have addressed several letters to “His Majesty the Wallypug, The -Royal Palace, Why,” as I am very anxious to know how affairs are going -on there; but I am sorry to say they have always been returned through -the post, marked in blue pencil, “_Not known. Insufficient address._” - -[Illustration: RETURNED THROUGH THE POST.] - - - - -THE BLUE DWARFS: - -AN ADVENTURE IN THURINGEN. - - “And then on the top of the Caldon Low - There was no one left but me.” - - MARY HOWITT. - - -“I LIKED the blue dwarfs the best—far, far the best of anything,” said -Olive. - -“‘The blue dwarfs!’” repeated Rex. “What _do_ you mean? Why can’t you -say what you mean plainly? Girls have such a stupid way of talking!” - -“What can be plainer than _the blue dwarfs_?” said Olive rather -snappishly, though, it must be allowed, with some reason. “We were -talking about the things we liked best at the china place. _You_ said -the stags’ heads and the inkstands, and _I_ say the blue dwarfs.” - -“But I didn’t see any dwarfs,” persisted Rex. - -“Well, I can’t help it if you didn’t. You had just as much chance of -seeing them as I had. They were in a corner by themselves—little -figures about two inches high, all with blue coats on. There were about -twelve of them, all different, but all little dwarfs or gnomes. One was -sitting on a barrel, one was turning head-over-heels, one was cuddling -his knees—all funny ways like that. Oh, they were lovely!” - -“I wish I had seen them better,” said Rex regretfully. “I do remember -seeing a tray full of little blue-looking dolls, but I didn’t notice -what they were.” - -Olive did not at once answer. Her eyes were fixed on something she -saw passing before the window. It was a very, very little man. He was -not exactly humpbacked, but his figure was somewhat deformed, and he -was so small that but for the sight of his rather wizened old face -one could hardly have believed he was a full-grown man. His eyes were -bright and beady-looking, like those of a good-natured little weasel, -if there be such a thing, and his face lighted up with a smile as he -caught sight of the two, to him, strange-looking children at the open -window of the little village inn. - -“Guten Tag,” he said, nodding to them; and “Guten Tag,” replied the -children, as they had learnt to do by this time to everybody they met. -For in these remote villages it would be thought the greatest breach of -courtesy to pass any one without this friendly greeting. - -Rex drew a long breath when the dwarf had passed. - -“Olive——” he began, but Olive interrupted him. - -“Rex,” she said eagerly, “that’s _exactly_ like them—like the blue -dwarfs, I mean. Only, of course, their faces were prettier—nice -little china faces, rather crumply looking, but quite nice; and then -their coats were such a pretty nice blue. I think,” she went on -consideringly—“I think if I had that little man and washed his face -_very_ well, and got him a bright blue coat, he would look just like -one of the blue dwarfs grown big.” - -Rex looked at Olive with a queer expression. - -“Olive,” he said in rather an awe-struck tone; “Olive, do you think -perhaps they’re _real_? Do you think perhaps somewhere in this -country—in those queer dark woods, perhaps—that there are real blue -dwarfs, and that somebody must have seen them and made the little china -ones like them? Perhaps,” and his voice dropped and grew still more -solemn; “_perhaps_, Olive, that little man’s one of them, and they may -have to take off their blue coats when they’re walking about. Do you -know, I think it’s a little, just a very little frightening? Don’t you, -Olive?” - -“No, of course I don’t,” said Olive, and, to do her justice, her rather -sharp answer was meant as much to reassure her little brother as to -express any feeling of impatience. Rex was quite a little fellow, only -eight, and Olive, who was nearly twelve, remembered that when she was -as little as that, she used sometimes to feel frightened about things -which she now couldn’t see anything the least frightening in. And she -remembered how once or twice some of her big cousins had laughed at -her, and amused themselves by telling her all sorts of nonsense, which -still seemed terrible to her when she was alone in her room in the dark -at night. “Of course there’s nothing frightening in it,” she said. “It -would be rather a funny idea, I think. Of course it can’t be, you know, -Rex. There are no dwarfs, and gnomes, and fairies now.” - -“But that little man was a dwarf,” said Rex. - -“Yes, but a dwarf needn’t be a fairy sort of person,” explained Olive. -“He’s just a common little man, only he’s never grown as big as other -people. Perhaps he had a bad fall when he was a baby—that might stop -his growing.” - -“Would it?” said Rex. “I didn’t know that. I hope I hadn’t a bad fall -when I was a baby. Everybody says I’m very small for my age.” And Rex -looked with concern at his short but sturdy legs. - -Olive laughed outright. - -“Oh, Rex, what a funny boy you are! No, certainly, you are not a dwarf. -You’re as straight and strong as you can be.” - -“Well, but,” said Rex, returning to the first subject, “I do think it’s -very queer about that little dwarf man coming up the street just as -you were telling me about the blue dwarfs. And he _did_ look at us in -a funny way, Olive, whatever you say, just as if he had heard what we -were talking about.” - -“All the people look at us in a funny way here,” said Olive. “We must -look very queer to them. Your sailor suit, Rex, and my ‘Bolero’ hat -must look to them quite as queer as the women’s purple skirts, with -bright green aprons, look to us.” - -“Or the bullock-carts,” said Rex. “Do you remember how queer we -thought them at first? _Now_ we’ve got quite used to seeing queer -things, haven’t we, Olive? Oh! now do look there—at the top of the -street—there, Olive, did you ever see such a load as that woman is -carrying in the basket on her back? Why, it’s as big as a house!” - -He seemed to have forgotten about the dwarfs, and Olive was rather glad -of it. These two children were traveling with their uncle and aunt in -a rather out-of-the-way part of Germany. Out-of-the-way, that is to -say, to most of the regular summer tourists from other countries, -who prefer going where they are more sure of finding the comforts -and luxuries they are accustomed to at home. But it was by no means -out-of-the-way in the sense of being dull or deserted. It is a very -busy part of the world indeed. You would be amazed if I were to tell -you some of the beautiful things that are made in these bare homely -little German cottages. For all about in the neighborhood there are -great manufactories and warehouses for china and glass, and many other -things; and some parts of the work are done by the people at home in -their own houses. The morning of the day of which I am telling you -had been spent by the children and their friends in visiting a very -large china manufactory, and their heads were full of the pretty and -wonderful things they had seen. - -And now they were waiting in the best parlor of the village inn while -their uncle arranged about a carriage to take them all on to the small -town where they were to stay a few days. Their aunt was tired, and was -resting a little on the sofa, and they had planted themselves on the -broad window-sill, and were looking out with amusement at all that -passed. - -“What have you been chattering about all this time?” said their aunt, -suddenly looking up. “I think I must have been asleep a little, but I -have heard your voices going on like two birds twittering.” - -“Have we disturbed you, Auntie?” asked Olive, with concern. - -“Oh no, not a bit; but come here and tell me what you have been talking -about.” - -Instantly Rex’s mind went back to the dwarfs. - -“Auntie,” he said seriously, “perhaps you can tell me better than Olive -can. Are there really countries of dwarfs, and are they a kind of -fairies, Auntie?” - -Auntie looked rather puzzled. - -“Dwarfs, Rex?” she said; “countries of dwarfs! How do you mean?” - -Olive hastened to explain. Auntie was very much amused. - -“Certainly,” she said, “we have already seen so many strange things in -our travels that it is better not to be too sure what we may not see. -But any way, Rex, you may be quite easy in your mind, that if ever you -come across any of the dwarfs, you will find them very good-natured and -amiable, only you must be very respectful—always say ‘Sir,’ or ‘My -lord,’ or something like that to them, and bow a great deal. And you -must never seem to think anything they do the least odd, not even if -they propose to you to walk on your head, or to eat roast fir-cones for -dinner, for instance.” - -Auntie was quite young—not so very much older than Olive—and very -merry. Olive’s rather “grown-up” tones and manners used sometimes to -tempt her to make fun of the little girl, which, to tell the truth, -Olive did not always take quite in good part. And it must for Olive -be allowed, that Auntie did sometimes allow her spirits and love of -fun to run away with her a little too far, just like pretty unruly -ponies, excited by the fresh air and sunshine, who toss their heads and -gallop off. It is great fun at first and very nice to see, but one is -sometimes afraid they may do some mischief on the way—without meaning -it, of course; and, besides, it is not always so easy to pull them up -as it was to start them. - -Just as Auntie finished speaking the door opened and their uncle came -in. He was Auntie’s elder brother—a good deal older—and very kind -and sensible. At once all thoughts of the dwarfs or what Auntie had -been saying danced out of Rex’s curly head. Like a true boy he flew -off to his uncle, besieging him with questions as to what sort of a -carriage they were to go on in—_was_ it an ox-cart; oh, mightn’t they -_for once_ go in an ox-cart? and might he—oh, might he sit beside the -driver in front? - -His uncle laughed and replied to his questions, but Olive stayed beside -the sofa, staring gravely at her aunt. - -“Auntie,” she said, “you’re not _in earnest_, are you, about there -being really a country of dwarfs?” - -Olive was twelve. Perhaps you will think her very silly to have -imagined for a moment that her aunt’s joke could be anything but a -joke, especially as she had been so sensible about not letting Rex get -anything into his head which could frighten him. But I am not sure that -she was so very silly after all. She had read in her geography about -the Lapps and Finns, the tiny little men of the north, whom one might -very well describe as dwarfs; there might be dwarfs in these strange -Thüringian forests, which were little spoken of in geography books; -Auntie knew more of such things than she did, for she had traveled in -this country before. Then with her own eyes Olive had seen a dwarf, and -though she had said to Rex that he was just an odd dwarf by himself as -it were, not one of a race, how could she tell but what he might be -one of a number of such queer little people? And even the blue dwarfs -themselves—the little figures in the china manufactory—rather went to -prove it than not. - -“They may have taken the idea of dwarfs from the real ones, as Rex -said,” thought Olive. “Any way I shall look well about me if we go -through any of these forests again. They must live in the forests, for -Auntie said they eat roast fir-cones for dinner.” - -All these thoughts were crowding through her mind as she stared up into -Auntie’s face and asked solemnly— - -“Auntie, were you in earnest?” - -Auntie’s blue eyes sparkled. - -“In earnest, Olive?” she said. “Of course! Why shouldn’t I be in -earnest? But come, quick, we must get our things together. Your uncle -must have got a carriage.” - -“Yes,” said he, “I have. _Not_ an ox-cart, Rex. I’m sorry for your -sake, but for no one else’s; for I don’t think there would be much -left of us by the end of the journey if we were to be jogged along the -forest roads in an ox-cart. No! I have got quite a respectable vehicle; -but we must stop an hour or two on the way, to rest the horses and give -them a feed, otherwise we could not get through to-night.” - -“Where shall we stop?” said Auntie, as with the bundles of shawls and -bags they followed the children’s uncle to the door. - -“There is a little place in the forest, where they can look after the -horses,” said he; “and I daresay we can get some coffee there for -ourselves, if we want it. It is a pretty little nook. I remember it -long ago, and I shall be glad to see it again.” - -Olive had pricked up her ears. “A little place in the forest!” she said -to herself; “that may be near where the dwarfs live: it is most likely -not far from here, because of the one we saw.” She would have liked to -ask her uncle about it, but something in the look of her aunt’s eyes -kept her from doing so. - -“Perhaps she _was_ joking,” thought Olive to herself. “But perhaps she -doesn’t know; _she_ didn’t see the real dwarf. It would be rather nice -if I did find them, _then_ Auntie couldn’t laugh at me any more.” - -They were soon comfortably settled in the carriage, and set off. The -first part of the drive was not particularly interesting; and it was so -hot, though already afternoon, that they were all—Olive especially, -you may be sure—delighted to exchange the open country for the -pleasant shade of a grand pine forest, through which their road now lay. - -“Is it a very large forest, Uncle?” said Olive. - -“Yes, very large,” he replied rather sleepily, to tell the truth: for -both he and Auntie had been nodding a little, and Rex had once or twice -been fairly asleep. But Olive’s imagination was far too hard at work to -let her sleep. - -“The largest in Europe?” she went on, without giving much thought to -poor Uncle’s sleepiness. - -“Oh yes, by far,” he replied, for he had not heard clearly what she -said, and fancied it was “the largest hereabouts.” - -“Dear me!” thought Olive, looking round her with awe and satisfaction. -“If there are dwarfs anywhere, then it must be here.” - -And she was just beginning another. “And please, Uncle, is——?” when -her aunt looked up and said lazily— - -“Oh, my dear child, do be quiet! Can’t you go to sleep yourself a -little! We shall have more than enough of the forest before we are out -of it?” Which offended Olive so much that she relapsed into silence. - -Auntie was a truer prophet than she knew; for when they got to the -little hamlet in the wood, where they were to rest, something proved to -be wrong with one of the horse’s shoes; _so_ wrong, indeed, that after -a prolonged examination, at which all the inhabitants turned out to -assist, it was decided that the horse must be re-shod before he could -go any farther; and this made it impossible for the party who had come -in the carriage to go any farther either. For the nearest smithy was -two miles off; the horse must be led there and back by the driver, -which would take at least two, if not three, hours. It was now past -six, and they had come barely half way. The driver shook his head, and -said he would not like to go on to the town till morning. The horse -had pricked his foot; it might cause inflammation to drive him farther -without a rest, and the carriage was far too heavy for the other horse -alone, which had suddenly struck the children’s uncle as a brilliant -idea. - -“There would be no difficulty about the harnessing, any way,” he said -to Auntie, laughing; “for all the vehicles hereabouts drawn by one -horse have the animal at one side of a pole, instead of between shafts.” - -But Auntie thought it better to give in. - -“It really doesn’t much matter,” she said; “we can stay here well -enough. There are two bedrooms, and no doubt they can give us something -to eat; beer and sausages, and brown bread any way.” - -And so it was settled greatly to Olive’s satisfaction; it would give -her capital opportunities for a dwarf hunt! though as to this she kept -her own counsel. - -The landlady of the little post-house where they had stopped was -accustomed to occasional visits of this kind from benighted or -distressed travelers. She thought nothing of turning her two daughters -out of their bedroom, which, it must be owned, was very clean, for -Auntie and Olive, and a second room on the ground-floor was prepared -for Rex and his uncle. She had coffee ready in five minutes, and -promised them a comfortable supper before bedtime. Altogether, -everything seemed very satisfactory, and when they felt a little -refreshed, Auntie proposed a walk—“a good long walk,” she said, “would -do us good. And the landlady says we get out of the forest up there -behind the house, where the ground rises, and that there is a lovely -view. It will be rather a climb, but it isn’t more than three quarters -of an hour from here, and we have not walked all day.” - -Uncle thought it a good idea, and Rex was ready to start at once; but -Olive looked less pleased. - -“Don’t you want to come, Olive?” said Auntie. “Are you tired? You -didn’t take a nap like the rest of us.” - -“I am a little tired,” said Olive, which was true in one sense, though -not in another, for she was quite fit for a walk. It struck her that -her excuse was not quite an honest one, so she added, “If you don’t -mind, I would rather stay about here. I don’t mind being alone, and I -have my book. And I do so like the forest.” - -“Very well,” said her uncle; “only don’t lose yourself. She is -perfectly safe,” he added, turning to her aunt; “there are neither -wolves, nor bears, nor robbers nowadays, in these peaceful forests.” - -So the three set off, leaving Olive to her own devices. She waited till -they were out of sight, then she made her preparations. - -“I’d better take my purse,” she said to herself, “in case I meet the -dwarfs. Auntie told me to be very polite, and perhaps they would like -some of these tiny pieces; they just look as if they were meant for -them.” So she chose out a few one-pfennig copper coins, which are much -smaller than our farthings, and one or two silver pieces, worth about -twopence-halfpenny each, still smaller. Then she put in her pocket half -a slice of the brown bread they had had with their coffee, and arming -herself, more for appearance’-sake than anything else, with her parasol -and the book she had with her in her traveling bag, she set off on her -solitary ramble. - -It was still hot—though the forest trees made a pleasant shade. Olive -walked some way, farther and farther, as far as she could make out, -into the heart of the forest, but in her inexperience she took no -sort of care to notice the way she went, or to make for herself any -kind of landmarks. She just wandered on and on, tempted first by some -mysterious little path, and then by another, her mind full of the -idea of the discoveries she was perhaps about to make. Now and then a -squirrel darted across from one tree to another, disappearing among the -branches almost before Olive could be sure she had seen it, or some -wild wood birds, less familiar to the little foreigner, would startle -her with a shrill, strange note. There were here and there lovely -flowers growing among the moss, and more than once she heard the sound -of not far off trickling water. It was all strangely beautiful, and she -would greatly have enjoyed and admired it had not her mind been so full -of the queer fascinating idea of the blue dwarfs. - -At last—she had wandered about for some time—Olive began to feel -tired. - -“I may as well sit down a little,” she thought; “I have lots of time -to get back. This seems the very heart of the forest. They are just as -likely to be seen here as anywhere else.” - -So Olive ensconced herself in a comfortable corner, her back against -the root of a tree, which seemed hollowed out on purpose to serve as -an armchair. She thought at first she would read a little, but the -light was already slightly waning, and the tree shadows made it still -fainter. Besides, Olive had plenty to think of—she did not require any -amusement. Queer little noises now and then made themselves heard—once -or twice it really sounded as if small feet were pattering along, or as -if shrill little voices were laughing in the distance; and with each -sound, Olive’s heart beat faster with excitement—not with fear. - -“If I sit very still,” she thought, “who knows what I may see? Of -course, it would be much nicer and prettier if the dwarfs were quite -tiny—not like the little man we saw in the street at that place—I -forget the name—for he was not pretty at all—but like the blue dwarfs -at the manufactory. But that, I suppose, is impossible, for they would -be really like fairies. But they might be something between: not so big -as the little man, and yet bigger than the blue dwarfs.” - -And then Olive grew a little confused in trying to settle in her mind -how big, or how small rather, it was possible or impossible for a -nation of dwarfs to be. She thought it over till she hardly seemed -sure what she was trying to decide. She kept saying to herself, “Any -way, they could not but be a good deal bigger than my thumb! What does -that mean? Perhaps it means more in German measures than in English, -perhaps——” - -But what was that that suddenly hit her on the nose! Olive looked up, a -very little inclined to be offended; it is not a pleasant thing to be -hit on the nose; could it be Rex come behind her suddenly, and playing -her a trick? Just as she was thinking this, a second smart tap on the -nose startled her still more, and this time there was no mistake about -it; it came from above, and it was a fir-cone! Had it come of itself? -Somehow the words, “Roast fir-cones for dinner,” kept running in her -head, and she took up the fir-cone in her fingers to examine it, but -quickly dropped it again, for it was as hot as a coal. - -“It has a very roasty smell,” thought Olive; “where can it have come -from?” - -And hardly had she asked herself the question, when a sudden noise all -round her made her again look up. They were sliding down the branches -of the tree in all directions. At first, to her dazzled eyes, they -seemed a whole army, but as they touched the ground one by one, and -she was able to distinguish them better, she saw that after all there -were not so _very_ many. One, two, three, she began quickly counting -to herself, not aloud, of course—that would not have been polite—one, -two, three, up to twelve, then thirteen, fourteen and so on up to—yes, -there were just twenty-four of them. - -“Two of each,” said Olive to herself; “a double set of the blue dwarfs.” - -For they were the blue dwarfs, and no mistake! Two of each, as Olive -had seen at once. And immediately they settled themselves in twos—two -squatted on the ground embracing their knees, two strode across a -barrel which they had somehow or other brought with them, two began -turning head-over-heels, two knelt down with their heads and queer -little grinning faces looking over their shoulders, twos and twos of -them in every funny position you could imagine, all arranged on the -mossy ground in front of where Olive sat, and all dressed in the same -bright blue coats as the toy dwarfs at the china manufactory. - -Olive sat still and looked at them. Somehow she did not feel surprised. - -“How big are they?” she said to herself. “Bigger than my thumb? Oh yes, -a good deal. I should think they are about as tall as my arm would be -if it was standing on the ground. I should think they would come up -above my knee. I should like to stand up and measure, but perhaps it is -better for me not to speak to them till they speak to me.” - -She had not long to wait. In another moment two little blue figures -separated themselves from the crowd, and made their way up to her. But -when they were close to her feet they gave a sudden jump in the air, -and came down, not on their feet, but on their heads! And then again -some of her aunt’s words came back to her, “If they should ask you to -stand on your head, for instance.” - -“Dear me,” thought Olive, “how did Auntie know so much about them? But -I do hope they won’t ask me to stand on _my_ head.” - -Her fears were somewhat relieved when the dwarfs gave another spring -and came down this time in a respectable manner on their feet. Then, -with a good many bows and flourishes, they began a speech. - -“We are afraid,” said the first. - -“That the fir-cones,” said the second. - -“Were rather underdone,” finished up the first. - -Olive really did not know what to say. She was dreadfully afraid that -it would seem so very rude of her not even to have _tasted_ the cones. -But naturally she had not had the slightest idea that they had been -intended for her to eat. - -“I am very sorry,” she said, “Mr.——, sir! my lord! I beg your pardon. -I don’t quite know what I should call you.” - -“With all respect,” said the first. - -“And considering the circumstances,” went on the second. - -Then just as Olive supposed they were going to tell her their names, -they stopped short and looked at her. - -“I beg your pardon,” she began again, after waiting a minute or two to -see if they had nothing else to say; “I don’t quite understand.” - -“Nor do we,” they replied promptly, speaking for the first time both -together. - -“Do you mean you don’t know what _my_ name is?” said she. “It’s Olive, -_Olive_” for the dwarfs stood staring as if they had not heard her. -“OLIVE!” she repeated for the third time. - -“Green?” asked the first. - -“No!” said Olive. “Of course not! _Green_ is a very common name—at -least——” - -“But you called us ‘blue,’” said the second; and it really was a relief -to hear him finish a sentence comfortably by himself, only Olive felt -very puzzled by what he said. - -“How do you know?” she said. “How could you tell I called you the blue -dwarfs?” and then another thought suddenly struck her. How very odd -it was that the dwarf spoke such good English! “I thought you were -German,” she said. - -“How very amusing!” said the dwarfs, this time again speaking together. - -Olive could not see that it was very amusing, but she was afraid of -saying so, for fear it should be rude. - -“And about the fir-cones,” went on the first dwarf. “It is distressing -to think they were so underdone. But we have come, all of us,” waving -his hand in the direction of the others, “to invite you to supper in -our village. There you will find them done to perfection.” - -Olive felt more and more uncomfortable. - -“You are very kind,” she said. “I should like to come very much if it -isn’t too far; but I am afraid I couldn’t eat any supper. Indeed, I’m -not hungry.” And then a bright thought struck her. “See here,” she went -on, drawing the half slice of bread out of her pocket, “I had to put -this in my pocket, for I couldn’t finish it at our afternoon coffee.” - -The two dwarfs came close and examined the piece of bread with the -greatest attention. They pinched and smelt it, and one of them put out -his queer little pointed tongue and licked it. - -“Not good!” he said, looking up at Olive and rolling about his eyes in -a very queer way. - -“I don’t know,” said Olive; “I don’t think it can be bad. It is the -regular bread of the country. I should have thought you would be -accustomed to it, as you live here.” - -The two dwarfs took no notice of what she said, but suddenly turned -round, and standing with their backs to Olive called out shrilly, -“Gueton Tag.” Immediately all the other dwarfs replied in the same -tone and the same words, and to Olive’s great surprise they all began -to move towards her, but without altering their attitudes—those on -the barrel rolled towards her without getting off it; the two who were -hugging their knees continued to hug them, while they came on by means -of jerking themselves; the turning head-over-heels ones span along like -wheels, and so on till the whole assemblage were at her feet. Then she -saw unfolded before her, hanging on the branches of the tree, a large -mantle, just the shape of her aunt’s travelling dust-cloak, which she -always spread over Olive in a carriage, only, instead of being drab -or fawn-colored, it was, like the dwarfs’ jackets, bright blue. And -without any one telling her, Olive seemed to know of herself that she -was to put it on. - -She got up and reached the cloak easily; it seemed to put itself on, -and Olive felt very happy and triumphant as she said to herself, “Now -I’m really going to have some adventures.” - -The dwarfs marched—no! one cannot call it marching, for they had about -a dozen different ways of proceeding—they moved on, and Olive in the -middle, her blue cloak floating majestically on her shoulders. No one -spoke a word. It grew darker and darker among the trees, but Olive -did not feel frightened. On they went, till at last she saw twinkling -before them a very small but bright blue light. It looked scarcely -larger than the lamp of a glow-worm, but it shone out very distinct in -the darkness. Immediately they saw it the dwarfs set up a shout, and -as it died away, to Olive’s surprise, they began to sing. And what do -you think they sang? Olive at first could hardly believe her ears as -they listened to the thoroughly English song of “Home, sweet Home.” -And the queerest thing was that they sang it very prettily, and that -it sounded exactly like her aunt’s voice! And though they were walking -close beside her, their voices when they left off singing did not so -much seem to stop as to move off, to die away into the distance, which -struck Olive as very odd. - -They had now arrived at the trunk of a large tree, half way up which -hung the little lamp—at least Olive supposed it must be a lamp—from -which came the bright blue light. - -“Here we are,” said one of the dwarfs, she did not see which, “at the -entrance to our village.” And thereupon all the dwarfs began climbing -up the tree, swarming about it like a hive of bees, till they got some -way up, when one after another they suddenly disappeared. Olive could -see all they did by the blue light. She was beginning to wonder if she -would be left standing there alone, when a shout made her look up, and -she saw two dwarfs standing on a branch holding a rope ladder, which -they had just thrown down, and making signs to her to mount up by it. -It was quite easy; up went Olive, step by step, and when she reached -the place where the two dwarfs were standing, she saw how it was that -they had all disappeared. The tree trunk was hollow, and there were -steps cut in it like a stair, down which the dwarfs signed to her that -she was to go. She did not need to be twice told, so eager was she to -see what was to come. The stair was rather difficult for her to get -down without falling, for the steps were too small, being intended for -the dwarfs, but Olive managed pretty well, only slipping now and then. -The stair seemed very long, and as she went farther it grew darker, -till at last it was quite dark; by which time, fortunately, however, -she felt herself again on level ground, and after waiting half a minute -a door seemed to open, and she found herself standing outside the tree -stair, with the prettiest sight before her eyes that she had ever seen -or even imagined. - -It was the dwarf village! Rows and rows of tiny houses—none of them -more than about twice as high as Olive herself, for that was quite big -enough for a dwarf cottage, each with a sweet little garden in front, -like what one sees in English villages, though the houses themselves -were like Swiss châlets. It was not dark down here, there was a soft -light about as bright as we have it at summer twilight; and besides -this each little house had a twinkling blue light hanging above the -front door, like a sign-post. And at the door of each cottage stood -one of the dwarfs, with a little dwarf wife beside him; only, instead -of blue, each little woman was dressed in brown, so that they were -rather less showy than their husbands. They all began bowing as Olive -appeared, and all the little women curtseying, and Olive seemed to -understand, without being told, that she was to walk up the village -street to see all there was to be seen. So on she marched, her blue -cloak floating about her, so that sometimes it reached the roofs of the -houses on each side at the same time. - -Olive felt herself rather clumsy. Her feet, which in general she was -accustomed to consider rather neat, and by no means too large for her -age, seemed such great awkward things. If she had put one of them in at -the window of a dwarf house, it would have knocked everything out of -its place. - -“Dear me!” thought Olive, “I had no idea _I_ could seem clumsy! I feel -like a great plowman. I wish I were not so big.” - -“Yes,” said a voice beside her, “it has its disadvantages;” and -Olive, looking down to see who spoke—she had to look down for -everything—caught sight of one of the two dwarfs with whom she had -first spoken. She felt a little ruffled. She did not like this trick -of the dwarf hearing what she thought before she said it. - -“Everything has its disadvantages,” she replied. “Don’t you find -yourself very inconveniently small when you are up in _our_ world?” - -“Exactly so,” said the dwarf; but he did not seem the least put out. - -“They are certainly very good-tempered,” said Olive to herself. Then -suddenly a thought struck her. - -“Your village is very neat and pretty,” she said; “though, perhaps—I -don’t mean to be rude, not on any account——” - -“No,” interrupted the dwarf; “Auntie told you on no account to be rude.” - -“Auntie!” repeated Olive, in astonishment; “she is not _your_ auntie!” - -“On no account,” said the dwarf, in the same calm tone, but without -seeming to take in that Olive meant to reprove him. - -“It’s no use trying to make them understand,” said Olive to herself. - -“Not the least,” said the dwarf; at which Olive felt so provoked that -she could have stamped her feet with irritation. But as _thinking_ -crossly seemed in this country to be quite as bad as _speaking_ -crossly, she had to try to swallow down her vexation as well as she -could. - -“I was going to say,” she went on quietly, “that to my taste the -village would be prettier if there was a little variety. Not all the -houses just the same, you know. And all of _you_ are so like each -other, and all your little brown wives too. Are there no _children_ -dwarfs?” - -“Doubtless. Any quantity,” was the answer. - -“Then where are they all?” said Olive. “Are they all asleep?” She put -the last question rather sarcastically, but the sarcasm seemed to be -lost on the little man. - -“Yes, all asleep,” he replied; “all asleep, and dreaming. Children -are very fond of dreaming,” he went on, looking up at Olive with such -a queer expression, and such a queer tone in his voice too, that -Olive got a queer feeling herself, as if he meant more than his words -actually said. Could he mean to hint that _she_ was dreaming? But a -remark from the dwarf distracted her thoughts. - -“Supper is ready,” he said. “They are all waiting.” And turning round, -Olive saw before her a cottage a good deal larger than the others; in -fact, it was almost high enough for her, with considerable stooping, to -get in at the door. And through the windows she saw a long table neatly -covered with a bright blue table-cloth, and spread with numbers of -tiny plates, and beside each plate a knife and fork and a little blue -glass cup. Two great dishes stood on the table, one at each end. Steam -was rising from each, and a delicious smell came out through the open -windows. - -“I did not know I was so hungry,” thought Olive; “but I do _hope_ it -isn’t fir-cones.” - -“Yes,” said the dwarf; “they’ll be better done this time.” - -Then he gave a sort of sharp, sudden cry or whistle, and immediately -all the dwarfs of the village appeared as if by magic, and began -hurrying into the house, but as soon as they were in the middle of -the passage they fell back at each side, leaving a clear space in the -middle. - -“For you,” said the first dwarf, bowing politely. - -“Do you always have supper here altogether like that?” said Olive. “How -funny!” - -“Not at all.” said the dwarf; “it’s a table d’hôte. Be so good as to -take your place.” - -Olive bent her head cautiously in preparation for passing through the -door, when again the same sharp cry startled her, and lifting her head -suddenly she bumped it against the lintel. The pain of the blow was -rather severe. - -“What did you do that for?” she exclaimed angrily. “Why did you scream -out like that? I——” But she said no more. The cry was repeated, and -this time it did its work effectually, for Olive awoke. Awoke—was it -waking?—to find herself all in the dark, stiff and cold, and her head -aching with the bump she had given it against the old tree-trunk, while -farther off now she heard the same shrill hoot or cry of some early -astir night-bird, which had sounded before in her dreams. - -“Oh dear! oh dear!” she sobbed, “what shall I do? Where am I? How -can I ever find my way in the dark? I believe it was all a trick of -those nasty blue dwarfs. I don’t believe I _was_ dreaming. They must -be spiteful goblins. I wish I had not gone with them to see their -village.” And so for some minutes, half asleep and half awake, Olive -stayed crouching by the tree, which seemed her only protector. But -by degrees, as her senses—her common sense particularly—came back -to her, she began to realize that it was worse than useless to sit -there crying. Dark as it was, she must try to find her way back to -the little inn, where, doubtless, Auntie and the others were in the -greatest distress about her, the thought of which nearly made her burst -out crying again; and poor Olive stumbled up to her feet as best she -could, fortunately not forgetting to feel for her book and parasol -which were lying beside her and slowly and tremblingly made her way -on a few steps, hoping that perhaps if she could manage to get out of -the shadow of the trees it might not be quite so dark farther on. She -was not altogether disappointed. It certainly grew a very little less -black, but that it was a very dark night there was no denying. And, -indeed, though it had not been dark, she would have had the greatest -difficulty in finding her way out of the wood, into which she had so -thoughtlessly penetrated. Terrifying thoughts, too, began to crowd -into her mind, though, as I think I have shown you, she was not at -all a timid child. But a forest on a dark night, and so far away from -everywhere—it was enough to shake her nerves. She hoped and trusted -there was no fear of wolves in summer-time; but bears!—ah! as to bears -there was no telling. Even the hooting cries of the birds which she now -and then again heard in the distance frightened her, and she felt that -a bat flapping against her would send her nearly out of her mind. And -after a while she began to lose heart—it was not quite so dark, but -she had not the very least idea where she was going. She kept bumping -and knocking herself against the trunks; she was evidently not in a -path, but wandering farther and farther among the forest trees. That -was about all she could feel sure of, and after two or three more vain -efforts Olive fairly gave up, and, sinking down on the ground, again -burst into tears. - -“If I but had a mariner’s compass,” she thought, her fancy wandering -off to all the stories of lost people she had ever heard of. Then she -further reflected that a compass would do her very little good if it -was too dark to see it, and still more as she had not the slightest -idea whether her road lay north, south, east, or west. “If the stars -were out!” was her next idea; but then, I am ashamed to say, Olive’s -ideas of astronomy were limited. She could have perhaps recognized -the Plow and the Pole star, but she could not remember which way they -pointed. Besides, she did not feel quite sure that in Thüringen one -would see the same stars as in England or Paris; and, after all, as -there were none visible, it was no good puzzling about it, only if they -_had_ been there it would not have seemed so lonely. Suddenly—what -was that in the distance? A light, a tiny light, bobbing in and out -of sight among the trees? Could it be a star come out of its way to -take pity on her? Much more likely a Will-o’-the-wisp; for she did -not stop to reflect that a dry pine forest in summer-time is not one -of Will-o’-the-wisp’s favorite playgrounds. It was a light, as to -that there was no doubt, and it was coming nearer. Whether she was -more frightened or glad Olive scarcely knew. Still, almost anything -was better than to sit there to be eaten up by bears, or to die of -starvation; and she eagerly watched the light now steadily approaching -her, till it came near enough for her to see that it was a lantern -carried by some person not high above the ground. A boy perhaps; could -it be—oh, joyful thought!—could it be Rex? But no; even if they -were all looking for her it was not likely that they would let Rex be -running about alone to get lost too. Still, it must _be_ a boy, and -without waiting to think more Olive called out— - -“Oh, please come and help me! I’m lost in the wood!” she cried, -thinking nothing of German or anything but her sore distress. - -The lantern moved about undecidedly for a moment or two, then the light -flashed towards her and came still nearer. - -“_Ach Gott!_” exclaimed an unfamiliar voice, and Olive, peering -forward, thought for half a second she was again dreaming. He was not, -certainly, dressed in blue, and he was a good deal taller than up to -her knee; but still he was—there was no doubt about it—he was a -dwarf! And another gaze at his queer little figure and bright sparkling -eyes told Olive that it was the very same little man who had smiled at -Rex and her when he saw them leaning out of the inn window that very -afternoon. - -She didn’t feel frightened; he looked so good-natured and so sorry for -her. And somehow Olive’s faith in the possible existence of a nation of -dwarfs had received a shock; she was much more inclined to take things -prosaically. But it was very difficult to explain matters. I think the -dwarf at the first moment was more inclined to take _her_ for something -supernatural than she was now to imagine him a brownie or a gnome. -For she was a pretty little girl, with a mass of golden fair hair and -English blue eyes; and with her hat half fallen off, and her cheeks -flushed, she might have sat for a picture of a fairy who had strayed -from her home. - -Her German seemed all to go out of her head. But she managed to -remember the name of the village where they had been that afternoon, -and a sudden recollection seemed to come over the dwarf. He poured out -a flood of words and exclamations, amidst which all that Olive could -understand was the name of the village and the words “_verirrt_,” -“_armes Kind_,” which she knew meant “lost” and “poor child.” Then -he went on to tell that he too was on his way from the same village -to somewhere; that he came by the woods, because it was shorter, and -lifting high his lantern, gave Olive to understand that he could now -show her the way. - -So off she set under his guidance, and, only fancy! a walk of not more -than ten minutes brought them to the little inn! Olive’s wanderings -and straying had, after all, drawn her very near her friends if she -had known it. Poor Auntie and Rex were running about in front of the -house in great distress. Uncle and the landlord and the coachman had -set off with lanterns, and the landlady was trying to persuade Auntie -that there was not _really_ anything to be afraid of; neither bears, -nor wolves, nor evilly-disposed people about: the little young lady -had, doubtless, fallen asleep in the wood with the heat and fatigue of -the day; which, as you know, was a very good guess, though the landlady -little imagined what queer places and people Olive had been visiting in -her sleep. - -The dwarf was a well-known person thereabouts, and a very harmless, -kindly little man. A present of a couple of marks sent him off to -his cottage near by very happy indeed, and when Uncle returned a few -minutes later to see if the wanderer had been heard of, you can imagine -how thankful he was to find her. It was not so _very_ late after all, -not above half-past ten o’clock, but a thunderstorm which came on not -long after explained the unusual darkness of the cloud-covered sky. - -“_What_ a good thing you were safe before the storm came on!” said -Auntie, with a shudder at the thought of the dangers her darling had -escaped. “I will take care never again to carry my jokes too far,” -she resolved, when Olive had confided to her the real motive of her -wanderings in the wood. And Olive, for her part, decided that she would -be content with fairies and dwarfs in books and fancy, without trying -to find them in reality. - -“Though all the same,” she said to herself, “I should have liked to -taste the roast fir-cones. They did smell so good!” “And, Auntie,” she -said aloud, “were you singing in the wood on your way home with Uncle -and Rex?” - -“Yes,” said Auntie, “they begged me to sing ‘Home, sweet Home.’ Why do -you ask me?” - -Olive explained. “So it was _your_ voice I heard when I thought it was -the dwarfs,” she said, smiling. - -And Auntie gave her still another kiss. - - - THE END. - - - A. L. Burt’s Catalogue of Books for Young People by Popular Writers, - 52-58 Duane Street, New York - - - - - BOOKS FOR GIRLS. - - =Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.= By LEWIS CARROLL. 12mo, cloth, 42 - illustrations, price 75 cents. - -“From first to last, almost without exception, this story is -delightfully droll, humorous and illustrated in harmony with the -story.”—=New York Express.= - - =Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There.= By LEWIS - CARROLL. 12mo, cloth, 50 illustrations, price 75 cents. - -“A delight alike to the young people and their elders, extremely funny -both in text and illustrations.”—=Boston Express.= - - =Little Lucy’s Wonderful Globe.= By CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“This story is unique among tales intended for children, alike for -pleasant instruction, quaintness of humor, gentle pathos, and the -subtlety with which lessons moral and otherwise are conveyed to -children, and perhaps to their seniors as well.”—=The Spectator.= - - =Joan’s Adventures at the North Pole and Elsewhere.= By ALICE CORKRAN. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Wonderful as the adventures of Joan are, it must be admitted that they -are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented. Altogether -this is an excellent story for girls.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Count Up the Sunny Days=: A Story for Girls and Boys. By C. A. JONES. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“An unusually good children’s story.”—=Glasgow Herald.= - - =The Dove in the Eagle’s Nest.= By CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Among all the modern writers we believe Miss Yonge first, not in -genius, but in this, that she employs her great abilities for a high -and noble purpose. We know of few modern writers whose works may be so -safely commended as hers.”—=Cleveland Times.= - - =Jan of the Windmill.= A Story of the Plains. By MRS. J. H. EWING. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Never has Mrs. Ewing published a more charming volume, and that is -saying a very great deal. From the first to the last the book overflows -with the strange knowledge of child-nature which so rarely survives -childhood: and moreover, with inexhaustible quiet humor, which is -never anything but innocent and well-bred, never priggish, and never -clumsy.”—=Academy.= - - =A Sweet Girl Graduate.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, - price $1.00. - -“One of this popular author’s best. The characters are well imagined -and drawn. The story moves with plenty of spirit and the interest does -not flag until the end too quickly comes.”—=Providence Journal.= - - =Six to Sixteen=: A Story for Girls. By JULIANA HORATIA EWING. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“There is no doubt as to the good quality and attractiveness of ‘Six -to Sixteen.’ The book is one which would enrich any girl’s book -shelf.”—=St. James’ Gazette.= - - =The Palace Beautiful=: A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“A bright and interesting story. The many admirers of Mrs. L. T. Meade -in this country will be delighted with the ‘Palace Beautiful’ for -more reasons than one. It is a charming book for girls.”—=New York -Recorder.= - - =A World of Girls=: The Story of a School. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“One of those wholesome stories which it does one good to read. It will -afford pure delight to numerous readers. This book should be on every -girl’s book shelf.”—=Boston Home Journal.= - - =The Lady of the Forest=: A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“This story is written in the author’s well-known, fresh and -easy style. All girls fond of reading will be charmed by this -well-written story. It is told with the author’s customary grace and -spirit.”—=Boston Times.= - - =At the Back of the North Wind.= By GEORGE MACDONALD. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“A very pretty story, with much of the freshness and vigor of Mr. -Macdonald’s earlier work.... It is a sweet, earnest, and wholesome -fairy story, and the quaint native humor is delightful. A most -delightful volume for young readers.”—=Philadelphia Times.= - - =The Water Babies=: A Fairy Tale for a Land Baby. By CHARLES KINGSLEY. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“The strength of his work, as well as its peculiar charms, consist in -his description of the experiences of a youth with life under water -in the luxuriant wealth of which he revels with all the ardor of a -poetical nature.”—=New York Tribune.= - - =Our Bessie.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“One of the most entertaining stories of the season, full of vigorous -action, and strong in character-painting. Elder girls will be charmed -with it, and adults may read its pages with profit.”—=The Teachers’ -Aid.= - - =Wild Kitty.= A Story of Middleton School. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Kitty is a true heroine—warm-hearted, self-sacrificing, and, as -all good women nowadays are, largely touched with the enthusiasm of -humanity. One of the most attractive gift books of the season.”—=The -Academy.= - - =A Young Mutineer.= A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“One of Mrs. Meade’s charming books for girls, narrated in that simple -and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the first -among writers for young people.”—=The Spectator.= - - =Sue and I.= By MRS. O’REILLY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 - cents. - -“A thoroughly delightful book, full of sound wisdom as well as -fun.”—=Athenæum.= - - =The Princess and the Goblin.= A Fairy Story. By GEORGE MACDONALD. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“If a child once begins this book, it will get so deeply interested in -it that when bedtime comes it will altogether forget the moral, and -will weary its parents with importunities for just a few minutes more -to see how everything ends.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Pythia’s Pupils=: A Story of a School. By EVA HARTNER. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“This story of the doings of several bright school girls is sure to -interest girl readers. Among many good stories for girls this is -undoubtedly one of the very best.”—=Teachers’ Aid.= - - =A Story of a Short Life.= By JULIANA HORATIA EWING. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“The book is one we can heartily recommend, for it is not only -bright and interesting, but also pure and healthy in tone and -teaching.”—=Courier.= - - =The Sleepy King.= A Fairy Tale. By AUBREY HOPWOOD AND SEYMOUR HICKS. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Wonderful as the adventures of Bluebell are, it must be admitted -that they are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented. -Altogether this is an excellent story for girls.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Two Little Waifs.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, - price 75 cents. - -“Mrs. Molesworth’s delightful story of ‘Two Little Waifs’ will charm -all the small people who find it in their stockings. It relates the -adventures of two lovable English children lost in Paris, and is just -wonderful enough to pleasantly wring the youthful heart.”—=New York -Tribune.= - - =Adventures in Toyland.= By EDITH KING HALL. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, - price 75 cents. - -“The author is such a bright, cheery writer, that her stories are -always acceptable to all who are not confirmed cynics, and her record -of the adventures is as entertaining and enjoyable as we might -expect.”—=Boston Courier.= - - =Adventures in Wallypug Land.= By G. E. FARROW. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“These adventures are simply inimitable, and will delight boys and -girls of mature age, as well as their juniors. No happier combination -of author and artist than this volume presents could be found to -furnish healthy amusement to the young folks. The book is an artistic -one in every sense.”—=Toronto Mail.= - - =Fussbudget’s Folks.= A Story for Young Girls. By ANNA F. BURNHAM. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Mrs. Burnham has a rare gift for composing stories for children. With -a light, yet forcible touch, she paints sweet and artless, yet natural -and strong, characters.”—=Congregationalist.= - - =Mixed Pickles.= A Story for Girls. By MRS. E. M. FIELD. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“It is, in its way, a little classic, of which the real beauty and -pathos can hardly be appreciated by young people. It is not too much to -say of the story that it is perfect of its kind.”—=Good Literature.= - - =Miss Mouse and Her Boys.= A Story for Girls. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Mrs. Molesworth’s books are cheery, wholesome, and particularly well -adapted to refined life. It is safe to add that she is the best English -prose writer for children. A new volume from Mrs. Molesworth is always -a treat.”—=The Beacon.= - - =Gilly Flower.= A Story for Girls. By the author of “Miss Toosey’s - Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Jill is a little guardian angel to three lively brothers who tease -and play with her.... Her unconscious goodness brings right thoughts -and resolves to several persons who come into contact with her. -There is no goodiness in this tale, but its influence is of the best -kind.”—=Literary World.= - - =The Chaplet of Pearls=; or, The White and Black Ribaumont. By - CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up -readers may enjoy it as much as children. It is one of the best books -of the season.”—=Guardian.= - - =Naughty Miss Bunny=: Her Tricks and Troubles. By CLARA MULHOLLAND. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“The naughty child is positively delightful. Papas should not omit the -book from their list of juvenile presents.”—=Land and Water.= - - =Meg’s Friend.= By ALICE CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price - $1.00. - -“One of Miss Corkran’s charming books for girls, narrated in that -simple and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the -first among writers for young people.”—=The Spectator.= - - =Averil.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“A charming story for young folks. Averil is a delightful -creature—piquant, tender, and true—and her varying fortunes are -perfectly realistic.”—=World.= - - =Aunt Diana.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“An excellent story, the interest being sustained from first to -last. This is, both in its intention and the way the story is told, -one of the best books of its kind which has come before us this -year.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Little Sunshine’s Holiday=: A Picture from Life. By MISS MULOCK. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“This is a pretty narrative of child life, describing the simple doings -and sayings of a very charming and rather precocious child. This is a -delightful book for young people.”—=Gazette.= - - =Esther’s Charge.= A Story for Girls. By ELLEN EVERETT GREEN. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“... This is a story showing in a charming way how one little girl’s -jealousy and bad temper were conquered; one of the best, most -suggestive and improving of the Christmas Juveniles.”—=New York -Tribune.= - - =Fairy Land of Science.= By ARABELLA B. BUCKLEY. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“We can highly recommend it; not only for the valuable information it -gives on the special subjects to which it is dedicated, but also as a -book teaching natural sciences in an interesting way. A fascinating -little volume, which will make friends in every household in which -there are children.”—=Daily News.= - - =Merle’s Crusade.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price - $1.00. - -“Among the books for young people we have seen nothing more unique -than this book. Like all of this author’s stories it will please young -readers by the very attractive and charming style in which it is -written.”—=Journal.= - - =Birdie=: A Tale of Child Life. By H. L. CHILDE-PEMBERTON. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“The story is quaint and simple, but there is a freshness about it that -makes one hear again the ringing laugh and the cheery shout of children -at play which charmed his earlier years.”—=New York Express.= - - =The Days of Bruce=: A Story from Scottish History. By GRACE AGUILAR. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“There is a delightful freshness, sincerity and vivacity about all -of Grace Aguilar’s stories which cannot fail to win the interest and -admiration of every lover of good reading.”—=Boston Beacon.= - - =Three Bright Girls=: A Story of Chance and Mischance. By ANNIE E. - ARMSTRONG. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“The charm of the story lies in the cheery helpfulness of spirit -developed in the girls by their changed circumstances; while the author -finds a pleasant ending to all their happy makeshifts. The story is -charmingly told, and the book can be warmly recommended as a present -for girls.”—=Standard.= - - =Giannetta=: A Girl’s Story of Herself. By ROSA MULHOLLAND. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Extremely well told and full of interest. Giannetta is a true -heroine—warm-hearted, self-sacrificing, and, as all good women -nowadays are, largely touched with enthusiasm of humanity. The -illustrations are unusually good. One of the most attractive gift books -of the season.”—=The Academy.= - - =Margery Merton’s Girlhood.= By ALICE CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“The experiences of an orphan girl who in infancy is left by her father -to the care of an elderly aunt residing near Paris. The accounts of the -various persons who have an after influence on the story are singularly -vivid. There is a subtle attraction about the book which will make it a -great favorite with thoughtful girls.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Under False Colors=: A Story from Two Girls’ Lives. By SARAH DOUDNEY. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“Sarah Doudney has no superior as a writer of high-toned stories—pure -in style, original in conception, and with skillfully wrought out -plots; but we have seen nothing equal in dramatic energy to this -book.”—=Christian Leader.= - - =Down the Snow Stairs=; or, From Good-night to Good-morning. By ALICE - CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Among all the Christmas volumes which the year has brought to our -table this one stands out facile princeps—a gem of the first water, -bearing upon every one of its pages the signet mark of genius.... -All is told with such simplicity and perfect naturalness that the -dream appears to be a solid reality. It is indeed a Little Pilgrim’s -Progress.”—=Christian Leader.= - - =The Tapestry Room=: A Child’s Romance. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Mrs. Molesworth is a charming painter of the nature and ways of -children; and she has done good service in giving us this charming -juvenile which will delight the young people.”—=Athenæum, London.= - - =Little Miss Peggy=: Only a Nursery Story. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -Mrs. Molesworth’s children are finished studies. A joyous earnest -spirit pervades her work, and her sympathy is unbounded. She loves -them with her whole heart, while she lays bare their little minds, and -expresses their foibles, their faults, their virtues, their inward -struggles, their conception of duty, and their instinctive knowledge -of the right and wrong of things. She knows their characters, she -understands their wants, and she desires to help them. - - =Polly=: A New Fashioned Girl. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -Few authors have achieved a popularity equal to Mrs. Meade as a writer -of stories for young girls. Her characters are living beings of flesh -and blood, not lay figures of conventional type. Into the trials and -crosses, and everyday experiences, the reader enters at once with zest -and hearty sympathy. While Mrs. Meade always writes with a high moral -purpose, her lessons of life, purity and nobility of character are -rather inculcated by example than intruded as sermons. - - =One of a Covey.= By the author of “Miss Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up -readers may enjoy it as much as children. This ‘Covey’ consists of the -twelve children of a hard-pressed Dr. Partridge out of which is chosen -a little girl to be adopted by a spoiled, fine lady. We have rarely -read a story for boys and girls with greater pleasure. One of the chief -characters would not have disgraced Dickens’ pen.”—=Literary World.= - - =The Little Princess of Tower Hill.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“This is one of the prettiest books for children published, as pretty -as a pond-lily, and quite as fragrant. Nothing could be imagined more -attractive to young people than such a combination of fresh pages and -fair pictures; and while children will rejoice over it—which is much -better than crying for it—it is a book that can be read with pleasure -even by older boys and girls.”—=Boston Advertiser.= - - =Rosy.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -Mrs. Molesworth, considering the quality and quantity of her labors, is -the best story-teller for children England has yet known. - -“This is a very pretty story. The writer knows children, and their ways -well. The illustrations are exceedingly well drawn.”—=Spectator.= - - =Esther=: A Book for Girls. By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price $1.00. - -“She inspires her readers simply by bringing them in contact with the -characters, who are in themselves inspiring. Her simple stories are -woven in order to give her an opportunity to describe her characters by -their own conduct in seasons of trial.”—=Chicago Times.= - - =Sweet Content.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price - 75 cents. - -“It seems to me not at all easier to draw a lifelike child than to draw -a lifelike man or woman: Shakespeare and Webster were the only two men -of their age who could do it with perfect delicacy and success. Our own -age is more fortunate, on this single score at least, having a larger -and far nobler proportion of female writers; among whom, since the -death of George Eliot, there is none left whose touch is so exquisite -and masterly, whose love is so thoroughly according to knowledge, -whose bright and sweet invention is so fruitful, so truthful, or so -delightful as Mrs. Molesworth’s.”—=A. C. Swinbourne.= - - =Honor Bright=; or, The Four-Leaved Shamrock. By the author of “Miss - Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1 00. - -“It requires a special talent to describe the sayings and doings of -children, and the author of ‘Honor Bright,’ ‘One of a Covey,’ possesses -that talent in no small degree. A cheery, sensible, and healthy -tale.”—=The Times.= - - =The Cuckoo Clock.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, - price 75 cents. - -“A beautiful little story. It will be read with delight by every -child into whose hands it is placed.... The author deserves all the -praise that has been, is, and will be bestowed on ‘The Cuckoo Clock.’ -Children’s stories are plentiful, but one like this is not to be met -with every day.”—=Pall Mall Gazette.= - - =The Adventures of a Brownie.= As Told to my Child. By MISS MULOCK. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“The author of this delightful little book leaves it in doubt all -through whether there actually is such a creature in existence as -a Brownie, but she makes us hope that there might be.”—=Chicago -Standard.= - - =Only a Girl=: A Tale of Brittany. From the French by C. A. JONES. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“We can thoroughly recommend this brightly written and homely -narrative.”—=Saturday Review.= - - =Little Rosebud=; or, Things Will Take a Turn. By BEATRICE HARRADEN. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“A most delightful little book.... Miss Harraden is so bright, so -healthy, and so natural withal that the book ought, as a matter of -duty, to be added to every girl’s library in the land.”—=Boston -Transcript.= - - =Girl Neighbors=; or, The Old Fashion and the New. By SARAH TYTLER. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00. - -“One of the most effective and quietly humorous of Miss Tytler’s -stories. ‘Girl Neighbors’ is a pleasant comedy, not so much of errors -as of prejudices got rid of, very healthy, very agreeable, and very -well written.”—=Spectator.= - - =The Little Lame Prince and His Traveling Cloak.= By MISS MULOCK. - 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“No sweeter—that is the proper word—Christmas story for the little -folks could easily be found, and it is as delightful for older readers -as well. There is a moral to it which the reader can find out for -himself, if he chooses to think.”—=Cleveland Herald.= - - =Little Miss Joy.= By EMMA MARSHALL. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price - 75 cents. - -“A very pleasant and instructive story, told by a very charming writer -in such an attractive way as to win favor among its young readers. The -illustrations add to the beauty of the book.”—=Utica Herald.= - - =The House that Grew.= A Girl’s Story. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -“This is a very pretty story of English life. Mrs. Molesworth is one of -the most popular and charming of English story-writers for children. -Her child characters are true to life, always natural and attractive, -and her stories are wholesome and interesting.”—=Indianapolis Journal.= - - =The House of Surprises.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, - price 75 cents. - -“A charming tale of charming children, who are naughty enough to be -interesting, and natural enough to be lovable; and very prettily their -story is told. The quaintest yet most natural stories of child life. -Simply delightful.”—=Vanity Fair.= - - =The Jolly Ten: and their Year of Stories.= By AGNES CARR SAGE. 12mo, - cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents. - -The story of a band of cousins who were accustomed to meet at the -“Pinery,” with “Aunt Roxy.” At her fireside they play merry games, -have suppers flavored with innocent fun, and listen to stories—each -with its lesson calculated to make the ten not less jolly, but quickly -responsive to the calls of duty and to the needs of others. - - =Little Miss Dorothy.= The Wonderful Adventures of Two Little People. - By MARTHA JAMES. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75c. - -“This is a charming little juvenile story from the pen of Mrs. James, -detailing the various adventures of a couple of young children. Their -many adventures are told in a charming manner, and the book will please -young girls and boys.”—=Montreal Star.= - - =Pen’s Venture.= A Story for Girls. By ELVIRTON WRIGHT. 12mo, cloth, - illustrated, price 75 cents. - -Something Pen saw in the condition of the cash girls in a certain -store gave her a thought; the thought became a plan; the plan became -a venture—Pen’s venture. It is amusing, touching, and instructive to -read about it. - - -For sale by all booksellers, or sent postpaid on receipt of price by -the publisher, =A. L. BURT, 52-58 Duane Street, New York=. - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Adventures in Wallypug-Land, by G. E. 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E. Farrow - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Adventures in Wallypug-Land - -Author: G. E. Farrow - -Illustrator: Alan Wright - -Release Date: June 22, 2016 [EBook #52393] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND *** - - - - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, David Edwards and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -book was produced from scanned images of public domain -material from the Google Books project.) - - - - - - -</pre> - -<div class="limit"> - -<div class="chapter"> -<div class="transnote p4"> -<p class="pc large">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:</p> -<p class="ptn">—Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected.</p> -<p class="ptn">—The transcriber of this project created the book cover -image using the front cover of the original book. The image is placed in the -public domain.</p></div></div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="350" height="528" alt="" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/fr.jpg" width="400" height="466" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p>So soon as we got into the street, we met the Turtle and the -Pelican, walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette.— -<a href="#Page_151">Page 151</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p> - -<h1 class="p4">ADVENTURES IN<br /> -<span class="large">WALLYPUG-LAND</span></h1> - -<p class="pc4 elarge"><span class="smcap">By G. E. FARROW</span></p> - -<p class="pc">AUTHOR OF “THE WALLYPUG OF WHY,”<br />“THE WALLYPUG IN -LONDON,” ETC.</p> - -<p class="pc4"><i>WITH FIFTY-SIX ILLUSTRATIONS BY ALAN WRIGHT</i></p> - -<p class="pc4 mid">A. L. BURT COMPANY, PUBLISHERS,<br /> -<span class="smcap reduct">52-58 Duane Street, New York</span>.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p> -<p> </p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pc4 lmid">DEDICATED<br /> -<span class="small">TO</span><br /> -LIONEL</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p> -<p> </p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pc4 elarge">ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND.</p> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span></p> -<p> </p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-009.jpg" width="400" height="200" - alt="" - title="" /> -</div> - -<h2>PREFACE.</h2> - -<hr class="d1" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">My dear little Friends</span>,</p> - -<p>I have again to thank you for the many kind -and delightful letters which I have received from -all parts of the world, and I cannot tell you how -happy I am to find that I have succeeded so well -in pleasing you with my stories.</p> - -<p>What am I to say to the little boy who wrote, and -begged “that, if the Wallypug came to stay with -me again, would I please invite him too?” or to -the other dear little fellow who came to me with -tears in his eyes, to tell me that some superior -grown-up person had informed him that “there<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> -never was a Wallypug, and it was all just a pack -of nonsense”; that “Girlie never went to Why -at all, and that in fact there was no such place in -existence”?</p> - -<p>I can only regretfully admit that, sooner or later -as we grow up to be men and women, there are -bound to be many fond illusions which are one -by one ruthlessly dispelled, and that many of the -dreams and thoughts which, in our younger days, -we cherish most dearly, the hard, matter-of-fact -world will always persist in describing as “a pack -of nonsense.” However, for many of us fortunately, -this tiresome time has not yet arrived, -and for the present we will refuse to give up our -poor dear Wallypug—for whom I declare I have -as great an affection and regard, as the most -enthusiastic of my young readers.</p> - -<p>You will see that in the following story I have -described my own experiences during a recent -visit to the remarkable land over which His Majesty<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> -reigns as a “kind of king”, and I may tell -you that, amongst all of the extraordinary creatures -that I met there, there was not one who expressed -the slightest doubt as to the reality of -what was happening; while for my own part, I -should as soon think of doubting the existence -of the fairies themselves, as of the simple, kind-hearted, -little Wallypug.</p> - -<p>There now! I hope that I have given quite a -clear and lucid explanation, and one which will -prevent you from being made unhappy by any -doubts which may arise in your mind as to the -possibility, or probability, of this story. Please -don’t forget to write to me again during the -coming year.</p> - - -<p class="pr6">Believing me to be as ever,</p> -<p class="pr4">Your affectionate Friend,</p> -<p class="pr2">G. E. FARROW.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CONTENTS.</h2> - -<table id="toc" summary="cont"> - - <tr> - <td colspan="3" class="tdl1"><span class="smcap">Adventures in Wallypugland.</span></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1"><span class="small">CHAP.</span></td> - <td> </td> - <td class="tdr1"><span class="small">PAGE</span></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">I.</td> - <td class="tdl1">How I Went to Why</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_13">13</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">II.</td> - <td class="tdl1">A Strange Welcome</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_29">29</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">III.</td> - <td class="tdl1">A Terrible Night</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_40">40</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">IV.</td> - <td class="tdl1">Late for Breakfast</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">V.</td> - <td class="tdl1">The Trial</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_62">62</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">VI.</td> - <td class="tdl1">His Majesty is Deposed</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_74">74</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">VII.</td> - <td class="tdl1">Foiled</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_83">83</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">VIII.</td> - <td class="tdl1">The Little Blue People</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_94">94</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">IX.</td> - <td class="tdl1">The Wallypug Recovers his Crown</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">X.</td> - <td class="tdl1">The Home of Ho-Lor</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_116">116</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XI.</td> - <td class="tdl1">The Why and Wer-Har-Wei Railway</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_131">131</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XII.</td> - <td class="tdl1">Back Again at Why</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_145">145</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XIII.</td> - <td class="tdl1">A New State of Affairs</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_155">155</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XIV.</td> - <td class="tdl1">“Good for the Complexion”</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_165">165</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XV.</td> - <td class="tdl1">“Wallypug’s Blush Limited”</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_175">175</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">XVI.</td> - <td class="tdl1">“Au Revoir”</td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_187">187</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td> </td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdl1"><span class="smcap">The Blue Dwarfs</span></td> - <td class="tdr1"><a href="#Page_197">197</a></td> - </tr> - -</table> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-013a.jpg" width="400" height="180" - alt="" - title="" /> -</div> - -<div class="floatleft"> - <img src="images/ill-013b.jpg" width="200" height="172" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc">MR. NOBODY.</p> -</div> - -<h2>CHAPTER I.</h2> - -<p class="pch">HOW I WENT TO WHY.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">For</span> some time -past I have been -the guest of his -Majesty the Wallypug -at his palace in the mysterious kingdom -of Why—a country so remarkable that -even now I am only just beginning to get -used to my strange surroundings and stranger -neighbors. Imagine, if you can, a place where -all of the animals not only talk, but take an<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> -active part in the government of the land, a place -where one is as likely as not to receive an invitation -to an evening party from an ostrich, or is -expected to escort an elderly rhinoceros in to -dinner; where it is quite an everyday occurrence -to be called upon by a hen with a brood of young -chickens just as you are sitting down to tea, and -be expected to take a lively interest in her account -of how the youngest chick passed through its -latest attack of the “pip.”</p> - -<p>In such a country, the unexpected is always -happening, and I am continually being startled -in the streets at being addressed by some dangerous-looking -quadruped, or an impertinent bird, -for I must say that as a class the birds are the -most insolent of all the inhabitants of this strange -land. There is in particular one old crow, a most -objectionable personage, and a cockatoo who is -really the most violent and ill-natured bird that I -have ever been acquainted with.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span></p> - -<p>She takes a very active interest in Parliamentary -affairs, and is a strong supporter of woman’s -wrongs.</p> - -<p>“Every woman has her wrongs,” she declares, -“and if she hasn’t she ought to have.”</p> - -<p>You will naturally wish to know how I reached -this strange country, and will, no doubt, be surprised -when I tell you how the journey was -accomplished.</p> - -<p>One morning a few weeks since, I received a -letter from his Majesty the Wallypug asking me -to visit him at his palace at Why, in order to assist -him in establishing some of our social customs -and methods of government, which he had so -greatly admired during his visit to England, and -which he was desirous of imitating in his own -land. A little packet was enclosed in the letter, -bearing the words, “The shortest way to Why. -This side up with <i>anxiety</i>.” “Well,” I thought, -“I suppose they mean ‘This side up with <i>care</i>,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>’” -and was proceeding very carefully to open the -packet when a gust of wind rushed in at the window, -and blowing open the paper wrapper, scattered -the contents—a little white powder—in all -directions. Some particles flew up into my eyes, -and caused them to smart so violently that I was -obliged to close them for some time till the pain -had gone, and when I opened them again, what -do you think? I was no longer in my study at -home, but out on a kind of heath in the brilliant -sunshine, and apparently miles from a house of -any kind. A finger-post stood a little way in -front of me, and I could see that three roads met -just here. Anxiously I hurried up to the post to -see where I was. One arm pointed, “To Nowhere.” -“And I certainly don’t want to go -there,” I thought; the other one was inscribed, -“To Somewhere,” which was decidedly a little -better, but the third one said, “To Everywhere -Else.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-017.jpg" width="300" height="484" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc">“THAT’S NOT MUCH USE.”</p> -</div> - -<p>“And, good gracious me,” I thought, -“that’s not much use, for I don’t know in the -least now which of the last two roads to take.” -I was puzzling my brain as to what was the best -thing to be done, when I happened to look down -the road leading to “Nowhere,” and saw a curious-looking<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> -little person running towards me. He -had an enormous head, and apparently his arms -and legs were attached to it, for I could see no -trace of a body. He was flourishing something -in his hand as he ran along, and as soon as he -came closer I discovered that it was his card which -he handed to me with a polite bow and an extensive -smile, as soon as he got near enough to do so.</p> - -<div class="limit1"> -<p class="pr8 p1">“<i>MR. NOBODY,</i><br /></p> -<p class="pr4"><i>No. 1 NONESUCH-STREET,</i><br /></p> -<p class="pr2"><i>NOWHERE,</i>”</p> -</div> - -<p class="pn1">is what I read.</p> - -<p>The little man was still smiling and bowing, -so I held out my hand and said:</p> - -<p>“How do you do, sir? I am very pleased to -make your acquaintance. Perhaps you can be -good enough to tell me—”</p> - -<p>The little man nodded violently.</p> - -<p>“To tell me where I am,” I continued.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span></p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody looked very wise, and after a few -moments’ thought smiled and nodded more violently -than ever, and simply pointed his finger -at me.</p> - -<p>“Yes, yes,” I cried, rather impatiently; “of -course I know that I’m here, but what I want to -know is, what place is this?”</p> - -<p>The little fellow knitted his brows, and looked -very thoughtful, and finally staring at me sorrowfully, -he slowly shook his head.</p> - -<p>“You don’t know?” I inquired.</p> - -<p>He shook his head again.</p> - -<p>“Dear me, this is very sad; the poor man is -evidently dumb,” I said, half aloud.</p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody must have heard me, for he nodded -violently, then resuming his former smile, he -bowed again, and turning on his heels ran back -in the direction of Nowhere, stopping every now -and then to turn around and nod and smile and -wave his hand.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span></p> - -<p>“What a remarkable little person,” I was just -saying, when I heard a voice above my head calling -out:</p> - -<p>“Man! man!”</p> - -<p>I looked up and saw a large crow perched on -the finger-post. He had a newspaper in one -claw, and was gravely regarding me over the -tops of his spectacles.</p> - -<p>“Well! what are you staring at?” he remarked -as soon as he caught my eye.</p> - -<p>“Well, really,” I began.</p> - -<p>“Haven’t you ever seen a crow before?” he -interrupted.</p> - -<p>“Of course I have,” I answered rather angrily, -for my surprise at hearing him talk was fast -giving way to indignation at his insolent tone -and manner.</p> - -<p>“Very well, then, what do you want to stand -there gaping at me in that absurd way for?” -said the bird. “What did he say to you?” he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> -continued, jerking his head in the direction in -which Mr. Nobody had disappeared.</p> - -<p>“Nothing,” I replied.</p> - -<p>“Very well, then, what was it?” he asked.</p> - -<p>“What do you mean?” said I.</p> - -<p>“Why, stupid, you said Nobody and nothing, -didn’t you, and as two negatives make an affirmative -that means he must have said something.”</p> - -<p>“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” I said.</p> - -<p>“Ignorant ostrich!” remarked the crow contemptuously.</p> - -<p>“Look here,” I cried, getting very indignant, -“I will not be spoken to like that by a mere -bird!”</p> - -<p>“Oh, really! Who do you think you are, -pray, you ridiculous biped? Where’s your hat?”</p> - -<p>I was too indignant to answer, and though I -should have liked to have asked the name of the -place I was at, I determined not to hold any further -conversation with the insolent bird, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> -walked away in the direction of “Somewhere,” -pursued by the sound of mocking laughter from -the crow.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-022.jpg" width="300" height="370" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc">“WHERE’S YOUR HAT?”</p> -</div> - -<p>I had not gone far, however, before I perceived -a curious kind of carriage coming towards me. -It was a sort of rickshaw, and was drawn by a -kangaroo, who was jerking it along behind him. -A large ape sat inside, hugging a carpet bag, and -holding on to the dashboard with his toes.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Let’s pass him with withering contempt,” I -heard one of them say.</p> - -<p>“All right,” was the reply. “Drive on.”</p> - -<p>“I say, Man,” called out the Ape, as they -passed, “we’re not taking the slightest notice of -you.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure I don’t care,” -I replied rather crossly.</p> - -<p>The Kangaroo stopped and stared at me in -amazement, and the Ape got out of the rickshaw -and came towards me, looking very indignant.</p> - -<p>“Do you know who I am?” he asked, striking -an attitude.</p> - -<p>“No, I don’t,” I replied, “and what’s more, I -don’t care.”</p> - -<p>“But I’m a person of consequence,” he -gasped.</p> - -<p>“You are only an ape or a monkey,” I said -firmly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Oh! I can clearly see that you don’t know -me,” remarked the Ape pityingly. “I’m Oom -Hi.”</p> - -<p>“Indeed,” I said unconcernedly. “I am afraid -I’ve never heard of you.”</p> - -<p>“Never heard of Oom Hi,” cried the Ape. -“Why, I am the inventor of Broncho.”</p> - -<p>“What’s that?” I asked. “Good gracious! -what ignorance,” said the Ape; “here, go and -fetch my bag,” he whispered to the Kangaroo, -who ran back to the rickshaw and returned with -the carpet bag.</p> - -<p>“This,” continued Oom Hi, taking out a bottle, -“is the article; it is called ‘Broncho,’ and is excellent -for coughs, colds, and affections of the -throat; you will notice that each bottle bears a -label stating that the mixture is prepared according -to my own formula, and bears my signature; -none other is genuine without it. The Wallypug, -when he returned from England and heard that -I had invented it, declared that I must be a -literary genius.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-024.jpg" width="400" height="528" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“There,” continued Oom Hi, taking out the bottle, “is the -article; it is called ‘Broncho.’”—<a href="#Page_24">Page 24</a>.</p> - <p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p> - -<p>“A what!” I exclaimed.</p> - -<p>“A literary genius,” repeated the Ape, smirking -complacently.</p> - -<p>“Why, what on earth has cough mixture to -do with literature?” I inquired.</p> - -<p>“I don’t know, I’m sure,” admitted Oom Hi, -“but the Wallypug said that in England any one -who invented anything of that sort was supposed -to possess great literary talent.”</p> - -<p>“The Wallypug!” I exclaimed, suddenly remembering. -“Am I anywhere near his Kingdom -of Why, then?”</p> - -<p>“Of course you are; it’s only about a mile or -two down the road. Are you going there?” inquired -Oom Hi.</p> - -<p>“Well, yes,” I answered. “I’ve had an invitation -from his Majesty, and should rather like to -go there, as I’m so near.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p> - -<p>“His Majesty; he—he—he, that’s good,” -laughed the Kangaroo. “Do you call the Wallypug -‘his Majesty’?” he asked.</p> - -<p>“Of course,” I replied, “he is a king, isn’t -he?”</p> - -<p>“A <i>kind</i> of king,” corrected Oom Hi. “You -don’t catch us calling him ‘your Majesty,’ I can -tell you though, one animal is as good as another -here, and if anything, a little better. If you are -going to Why, we may as well go back with you, -and give you a lift in the rickshaw.”</p> - -<p>“You’re very kind,” I said, gratefully.</p> - -<p>“Not at all, not at all; jump in,” said Oom -Hi.</p> - -<p>“Hold on a moment,” said the Kangaroo. -“It’s <i>his</i> turn to pull, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Of course, of course,” said the Ape, getting -into the vehicle; “put him in the shafts!”</p> - -<p>“What do you mean?” I expostulated.</p> - -<p>“Your turn to pull the rickshaw, you know;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> -we always take turns, and as I have been dragging -it for some time it’s your turn now.”</p> - -<p>“But I’m not going to pull that thing with you -two animals in it. I never heard of such a thing,” -I declared.</p> - -<p>“Who are you calling an animal?” demanded -the Kangaroo, sulkily. “You’re one yourself, -aren’t you?”</p> - -<p>“Well, I suppose I am,” I admitted. “But I’m -not going to draw that thing, all the same.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, get in, get in; don’t make a fuss. I suppose -I shall have to take a turn myself,” said Oom -Hi, grasping the handles, and the Kangaroo and -myself having taken our seats we were soon traveling -down the road. The Kangaroo turned out -to be a very pleasant companion after all, and -when he found out that I came from England -told me all about his brother, who was a professional -boxer, and had been to London and made -his fortune as the Boxing Kangaroo. He was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -quite delighted when I told him that I had seen -notices of his performance in the papers. We -soon came in sight of a walled city, which Oom -Hi, turning around, informed me was Why. And -on reaching the gate he gave the rickshaw in -charge of an old turtle, who came waddling up, -and each of the animals taking one of my arms, -I was led in triumph through the city gates to -the Wallypug’s palace, several creatures, including -a motherly-looking goose and a little gosling, -taking a lively interest in my progress, while a -giraffe in a very high collar craned his neck -through a port-hole to try and get a glimpse of -us as we passed under the portcullis.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="limit2"> -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER II.</h2> - -<p class="pch">A STRANGE WELCOME.</p> -</div> - -<div> - <img class="dcap1" src="images/ill-029.jpg" width="200" height="259" alt=""/> -</div> -<p class="cap14">WE soon reached the -Wallypug’s palace, -which stood in -a large park in the -center of the city -of Why. I had -been very interested -in noticing the curious architecture in the -streets as we passed along, but was scarcely prepared -to find the palace such a very remarkable -place. It was a long, low, rambling building, -built in a most singular style, with all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> -sorts of curious towers and gables at every -point.</p> - -<p>Oom Hi and the Kangaroo saw me as far as -the entrance, and then took their departure, saying -that they would see me again another day, and -I walked up the stone steps, to what I imagined -to be the principal door, alone. To my great -surprise, however, I found that, instead of being<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> -the way in, it was nothing more or less than a -huge jam-pot, with a very large label on it marked -“Strawberry Jam,” while above it were the -words, “When is a door not a door?” “When is a -door not a door?” I repeated, vaguely conscious -of having heard the question before.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-030.jpg" width="400" height="424" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc">“SOLD AGAIN! SERVE YOU RIGHT!”</p> -</div> - -<p>“Ha—ha—ha,” laughed a mocking voice at the -bottom of the steps, and looking down I saw an -enormous Cockatoo with a Paisley shawl over her -shoulders and walking with the aid of a crutched -stick.</p> - -<p>“Sold again, were you? Serve you right,” she -cried. “When is a door not a door? Pooh! fancy -not knowing that old chestnut. Why! when it’s -a jar, of course, stupid. Bah!”</p> - -<p>“It’s a very absurd practical joke, that’s all that -I can say,” I remarked, crossly, walking down -the steps again. “Perhaps you can tell me -how I am going to get into this remarkable -place.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Humph! Perhaps I can and perhaps I won’t,” -said the Cockatoo. “I dare say it’s a better place -than you came from, anyhow. You’re not the -first man that has come down here with his superior -airs and graces, grumbling and finding -fault with this, that, and the other; but we’ll -soon take the conceit out of you, I can tell you. -Where’s your hat?”</p> - -<p>This was the second creature that had asked -me this question, and really they threw so much -scorn and contempt into the inquiry that one -would imagine that it was a most disgraceful -offense to be without a head covering.</p> - -<p>I thought the most dignified thing to do under -the circumstances was to take no further notice -of the bird, and was quietly walking away when -the Cockatoo screamed out again, “Where’s -your hat? Where’s your hat? Where’s your -hat?” each time louder and louder, till the last -inquiry ended in a perfect shriek.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Don’t be so ridiculous,” I cried. “I’ve left it -at home, if you must know.”</p> - -<p>“Down with the hatters!” screamed the Cockatoo -irrelevantly, “Down with the Wallypug! -Down with men without hats! Down with everybody -and everything!” and the wretched bird -danced about like a demented fury.</p> - -<p>At the sound of all this commotion a number -of windows in the upper stories of the palace were -thrown open, and curious heads were popped out -to see what was the matter. Among them and -immediately over my head, I noticed the Doctor-in-Law.</p> - -<p>“Oh! it’s you, is it, kicking up all this fuss?” -he remarked as soon as he recognized me.</p> - -<p>“Well, really!” I replied, “I think you might -have the politeness to say ‘How do you do?’ -considering that it is some months since we -met.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, do you indeed?” said the Doctor-in-Law,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> -contemptuously. “Well, supposing I don’t care -one way or another. Where’s your hat?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-034a.jpg" width="300" height="391" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc">“DOWN WITH THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW.”</p> -</div> - -<p>Before I could answer the Cockatoo had -screamed out “Down with the Doctor-in-Law!” -and the irate little man had replied by -throwing a book at her head out of the palace -window.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-034b.jpg" width="400" height="549" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“I saw his Majesty, the Wallypug himself, running across -the lawn towards me, with both hands stretched out in welcome.”— -<a href="#Page_35">Page 35</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span></p> - -<p>I was thoroughly disgusted at this behavior -and at the strange reception that I was receiving, -and had fully determined to try and find some -way of getting home again, when, happening to -turn round, I saw his Majesty the Wallypug himself -running across the lawn towards me, with -both hands stretched out in welcome, and his -kind little face beaming with good nature.</p> - -<p>“How d’ye do? How d’ye do?” he cried. -“So pleased to see you. Didn’t expect you quite so -soon, though. Come along—this way.” And his -Majesty led me to another entrance, and through -a large square hall hung with tapestry and many -quaint pieces of old-fashioned armor, to a door -marked “His Majesty the Wallypug. Strictly -private.” I noticed, in passing, that the words, -“His Majesty” had been partly painted out, and -“What cheek!” written above them. Once inside<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> -the door, the Wallypug motioned me to a -chair, and said, in a mysterious whisper,</p> - -<p>“I’m <i>so</i> glad you came before <i>she</i> returned; -there’s so much I want to tell you.”</p> - -<p>“Who do you mean?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Sh—Madame—er, my sister-in-law,” he replied, -with a sigh.</p> - -<p>“Your sister-in-law!” I exclaimed. “Why, -I didn’t know you were married.”</p> - -<p>“Neither am I,” said his Majesty, with a -puzzled frown. “That’s the awkward part about -it.”</p> - -<p>“But how on earth can you possibly have a -sister-in-law, unless you have a wife or a married -brother?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Well, I’ve never quite been able to understand -<i>how</i> they make it out,” said the poor Wallypug, -sorrowfully; “but I believe it is something -mixed up with the Deceased Wife’s Sister’s Bill, -and the fact that my uncle, The Grand Mochar<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> -of Gamboza, was married twice. Anyhow, when -I returned from London I found this lady, who -<i>says</i> that she is my sister-in-law, established here -in the palace; and—and—” his Majesty sank his -voice to a whisper, “she rules me with a rod of -iron.”</p> - -<p>I had no time to make further inquiries, for -just then the door opened, and a majestic-looking -person sailed into the room, and after looking me -up and down with elevated eyebrows, pointed -her finger at me, and said, in a stern voice:</p> - -<p>“And <i>who</i> is this person, pray?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, this,” said his Majesty, smiling nervously, -and bringing me forward, “is the gentleman -who was so kind to us in London, you know. -Allow me to present him, Mr. Er—er——”</p> - -<p>“I hope you have not been picking up any undesirable -acquaintances, Wallypug,” interrupted -his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law severely. “I don’t -like the look of him at all.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I’m sorry, madame, that my appearance -doesn’t please you,” I interposed, feeling rather -nettled; “perhaps under the circumstances I had -better——”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-038.jpg" width="400" height="544" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“I DON’T APPROVE OF YOU IN THE LEAST,” SAID THE SISTER-IN-LAW.</p> -</div> - -<p>“You had better do as you are bid and speak<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> -when you are spoken to,” remarked the lady -grimly. “Where’s your hat?”</p> - -<p>“I haven’t one,” I replied, rather abruptly, I -am afraid, but I was getting quite tired of this -continual cross-questioning; “and really I don’t -see that it’s of the slightest consequence,” I ventured -to add.</p> - -<p>“Oh! don’t you,” said his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law, -with a sarcastic smile. “Well, that’s one -of the <i>many</i> points upon which we shall disagree. -Now, look here, I may tell you at once that I -don’t approve of you in the least; still, as you -are here now you had better remain; but mind, -no putting on parts or giving yourself airs and -graces, or I shall have something to say to you. -Do you understand?” And with a severe glance -at me, the lady folded her arms and stalked out -of the room, leaving his Majesty and myself staring -blankly at one another.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER III.</h2> - -<p class="pch">A TERRIBLE NIGHT.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">My</span> reception at Why had been such a very -peculiar one that I had fully made up my mind -to return home at once, but his Majesty the -Wallypug begged me so earnestly to stay with -him, at any rate for a few days, that I determined, -out of friendship to him, to put up as best -I could with that extraordinary person the Sister-in-Law, -and the rest of the creatures, and remain, -in order to help him if possible to establish his -position at Why on a firmer basis.</p> - -<p>So I took possession of a suite of rooms in the -west wing of the palace, near his Majesty’s private -apartments, and we spent a very pleasant -evening together in my sitting-room, playing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> -draughts till bedtime, when his Majesty left me -to myself, promising that he would show me -around the palace grounds the first thing in the -morning.</p> - -<p>After he had gone, there being a bright wood -fire burning in my bedroom, I drew a high-backed -easy-chair up to the old-fashioned fireplace, -and made myself comfortable for a little -while before retiring for the night.</p> - -<p>My bedroom was a large, old-fashioned apartment, -with a low ceiling and curiously carved -oak wainscoting, and I watched the firelight -flickering, and casting all sorts of odd shadows -in the dark corners, till I must have fallen asleep, -for I remember awaking with a start, at hearing -a crash in the corridor outside my bedroom door. -A muttered exclamation, and a Pelican, carrying -a bedroom candlestick marched in, and carefully -fastened the door behind him.</p> - -<p>“Great clumsy things—I can’t think who can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> -have left them there,” he grumbled, sitting down -and rubbing one foot against the other, as though -in pain. And I suddenly came to the conclusion -that he must have stumbled over my boots, -which I had stood just outside the door, in order -that they might be cleaned for the morning.</p> - -<p>The Pelican had not noticed me in my high-backed -chair, and, being rather curious to see -what he was up to, I kept perfectly still.</p> - -<p>Going over to a clothes press, which stood in -one corner of the room, the bird drew forth a -long white night-gown and a nightcap; these he -proceeded solemnly to array himself in, and then, -getting up on a chair, he turned back the bedclothes -with his enormous beak, and was just -about to hop into bed, when I thought that it -was time for me to interfere.</p> - -<p>“Here! I say, what are you up to?” I called -out in a stern voice.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-042.jpg" width="400" height="507" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“He turned back the bedclothes with his enormous beak, -and was just about to hop into bed.”— -<a href="#Page_42">Page 42</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Oh—h-h! Ah—h-h! There’s a man in my -room!” screamed the Pelican, evidently greatly -alarmed. “Murder! Fire! Police! Thieves!”</p> - -<p>“Hold your tongue!” I commanded. “What -do you mean by making all that noise at this -time of night, and what are you doing in my -room?”</p> - -<p>“Your room, indeed!” gasped the bird; “my -room you mean, you featherless biped, you!”</p> - -<p>“Look here!” I remarked, going up to the -Pelican, and shaking him till his beak rattled -again. “Don’t you talk to me like that, my -good bird, for I won’t put up with it.” You see -I was getting tired of being treated so contemptuously -by all of these creatures, and was determined -to put a stop to it, somehow.</p> - -<p>“But it <i>is</i> my room. Let me go, I say!” -screamed the bird, struggling to get free, -and dabbing at me viciously with his great -beak.</p> - -<p>“It is not your room,” I maintained; “and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> -what is more, you are not going to stay here,” -and I pushed the creature towards the door.</p> - -<p>“We’ll soon see all about that,” shouted the -Pelican, wrenching himself from my grasp, and -rushing at me with his beak wide open, and his -wings outstretched.</p> - -<p>He was an enormous bird, and I had a great -struggle with him. We went banging about the -room, knocking over the furniture and making a -terrible racket. At last, however, I managed to -get him near the door, and giving a terrific shove -I pushed him outside, and, pulling the door to, -quickly turned the key.</p> - -<p>I could hear Mr. Pelican slipping and stumbling -about on the highly polished floor of the -corridor outside, and muttering indignantly. -Presently he came to the door, and banging with -his beak, he cried, “Look here! this is beyond a -joke—let me in, I say—where do you suppose I -am going to sleep?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Anywhere you like except here,” I replied, -feeling that I had got the best of it. “Go and -perch or roost, or whatever you call it, on the -banisters, or sleep on the mat if you like—I don’t -care what you do!”</p> - -<p>“Impertinent wretch!” yelled the bird. -“You only wait till the morning. I’ll pay you -out;” and I could hear him muttering and -mumbling in an angry way as he waddled down -the corridor to seek some other resting-place. -“What ridiculous nonsense it is,” I thought, as -I tumbled into bed shortly after this little episode; -“these creatures giving themselves such airs. -No wonder the Wallypug is such a meek little -person if he has been subjected to this sort of -treatment all his life.” And pondering over the -best method of altering the extraordinary state -of affairs, I dropped off to sleep.</p> - -<p>I do not know how long it may have been after -this, but a terrific din, this time in the courtyard<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> - -below my window, caused me once more to jump -from my bed in alarm. I could hear a most unearthly -yelling going on, a babel of voices, and -occasionally a resounding crash as though something -hollow had been violently struck.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-046.jpg" width="300" height="315" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">HE WAS INTERRUPTED BY A SHOWER OF MISSILES.</p> -</div> - -<p>Pushing open the latticed windows I saw in the -moonlight a little man dressed in a complete suit -of armor with an enormous shield, like a dishcover,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> -arranged over his head, playing the guitar, -and endeavoring to sing to its accompaniment. -He was continually interrupted, however, by a -shower of missiles thrown from all of the windows -overlooking the courtyard, out of which angry -heads of animals and other occupants of the palace -were thrust; he was surrounded by a miscellaneous -collection of articles which had evidently been -thrown at him, and some of them, had it not been -for his suit of armor and the erection over his -head, would have caused him considerable injury.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-048.jpg" width="300" height="383" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE MUSICIAN TOOK TO HIS HEELS AND FLED.</p> -</div> - -<p>He did not seem to mind them in the least, -though, and continued singing amid a perfect -storm of boots, brushes, and bottles, as though -he was quite accustomed to such treatment: and -it was only when an irate figure, which somehow -reminded me of his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law, clad -in white garments and flourishing a pair of tongs, -appeared in the courtyard, that he took to his -heels and fled, pursued by the white-robed apparition, -till both disappeared beneath an archway -at the farther end of the courtyard. Most -of the windows were thereupon closed, and the -disturbed occupants of the palace returned to their -rest. I was just about to close my lattice too, -when I caught sight of a familiar figure at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> -adjoining window. It was my old friend A. Fish, -Esq.</p> - -<p>“Oh! id’s you iz id,” he cried. “You <i>have</i> -cub thed, I heard that you were egspegded.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, here I am,” I replied. “How are you? -How is your cold?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, id’s quide cured, thags; dote you dotice -how butch better I speak?”</p> - -<p>“I’m very glad to hear it, I’m sure,” I replied, -waiving the question and trying to keep solemn. -“What’s all this row about?”</p> - -<p>“Oh! thad’s the troubadour, up to his old -gabes agaid; he’s ad awful dusadce. I’ll tell you -aboud hib in the bordig—good dight.” And A. -Fish, Esq., disappeared from view.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER IV.</h2> - -<p class="pch">LATE FOR BREAKFAST.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">I awoke</span> very early in the morning, just as it -was daylight, and being unable to get to sleep -again amid my strange surroundings, I arose and -crept down-stairs as noiselessly as possible, intending -to go for a long walk before breakfast.</p> - -<p>At the bottom of the stairs I came upon a -strange-looking white object, which, upon closer -inspection, turned out to be the Pelican, asleep -on the floor.</p> - -<p>He was not sleeping as any respectable bird -would have done, with his head tucked under his -wing; but was lying stretched out on a rug in -the hall, with his head resting on a cushion. His<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> -enormous beak was wide open, and he was snoring -violently, and muttering uneasily in his sleep.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-051.jpg" width="400" height="227" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE PELICAN WAS SNORING VIOLENTLY.</p> -</div> - -<p>I did not disturb him for fear lest he should -make a noise; but hurrying past him I made my -way to the hall door, which after a little difficulty -I succeeded in unfastening. An ancient-looking -turtle with a white apron was busily cleaning -the steps, and started violently as I made my -appearance at the door.</p> - -<p>“Bless my shell and fins!” he muttered; -“what’s the creature wandering about this time -of the morning for; they’ll be getting up in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> -middle of the night next. Just mind where -you’re treading, please!” he called out. “The -steps have been cleaned, and I don’t want to have -to do them all over again.”</p> - -<p>I managed to get down without doing much -damage, and then remarked pleasantly:</p> - -<p>“Good morning; have you——”</p> - -<p>“No, I haven’t,” interrupted the Turtle snappishly; -“and what’s more, I don’t want to.”</p> - -<p>“What do you mean?” I inquired, in surprise.</p> - -<p>“Soap!” was the reply.</p> - -<p>“I don’t understand you,” I exclaimed.</p> - -<p>“You’re an advertisement for somebody’s soap, -aren’t you?” asked the Turtle.</p> - -<p>“Certainly not,” I replied, indignantly.</p> - -<p>“Your first remark sounded very much like -it,” said the Turtle suspiciously. “‘Good morning, -have you used——’”</p> - -<p>“I wasn’t going to say that at all,” I interrupted.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> -“I was merely going to ask if you could -oblige me with a light.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, that’s another thing entirely,” said the -Turtle, handing me some matches from his waistcoat -pocket, and accepting a cigarette in return. -“But really we have got so sick of those advertisement -catchwords since the Doctor-in-Law returned -from London with agencies for all sorts -of things, that we hate the very sound of them. -We are continually being told to ‘Call a spade a -spade,’ which will be ‘grateful and comforting’ -to ‘an ox in a teacup’ who is ‘worth a guinea a -box,’ and who ‘won’t be happy till he gets it.’”</p> - -<p>“It must be very trying,” I murmured sympathetically.</p> - -<p>“Oh, it is,” remarked the Turtle. “Well,” -he continued in a business-like tone, “I’m sorry -you can’t stop—good morning.”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t say anything about going,” I ejaculated.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Oh, didn’t you? Well, I did then,” said the -Turtle emphatically. “Move on, please!”</p> - -<p>“You’re very rude,” I remarked.</p> - -<p>“Think so?” said the Turtle pleasantly. -“That’s all right then—good-by,” and he flopped -down on his knees and resumed his scrubbing.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-054.jpg" width="300" height="276" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE TURTLE FLOPPED DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND RESUMED HIS SCRUBBING.</p> -</div> - -<p>There was nothing for me to do but to walk on, -and seeing a quaint-looking old rose garden in -the distance, I decided to go over and explore.</p> - -<p>I was walking slowly along the path leading to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> -it, when I heard a curious clattering noise behind -me, and turning around I beheld the Troubadour, -still in his armor, dragging a large -standard rosebush along the ground.</p> - -<p>“As if it were not enough,” he grumbled, “to -be maltreated as I am every night, without having -all this trouble every morning. I declare it -is enough to make you throw stones at your -grandfather.”</p> - -<p>“What’s the matter?” I ventured to ask of -the little man.</p> - -<p>“Matter?” was the reply. “Why, these -wretched rosebushes, they <i>will</i> get out their -beds at night, and wander about. I happened to -leave the gate open last night, and this one got -out, and goodness knows where he would have -been by this time if I hadn’t caught him meandering -about near the Palace.”</p> - -<p>“Why! I’ve never heard of such a thing as a -rosebush walking about,” I exclaimed in surprise.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span></p> - -<div class="floatleft"> - <img src="images/ill-056.jpg" width="200" height="298" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“IN YOU GO!”</p> -</div> - -<p>“Never heard of a——. Absurd!” declared -the Troubadour, incredulously. “Of course they -do. That’s what you have hedges and fences -around the gardens for, isn’t it? Why, you can’t -have been in a garden at night-time, -or you wouldn’t talk such -nonsense. All the plants are allowed -to leave their beds at midnight. -They are expected to be -back again by daylight, though, -and not go wandering about -goodness knows where like this beauty,” and he -shook the rosebush violently.</p> - -<p>“In you go,” he continued, digging a hole with -the point of his mailed foot, and sticking the rosebush -into it.</p> - -<p>“Hullo!” he exclaimed, going up to another -one, at the foot of which were some broken twigs -and crumpled leaves. “You’ve been fighting, have -you? I say, it’s really too bad!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span></p> - -<p>“But what does it matter to you?” I inquired. -“It’s very sad, no doubt, but I don’t see why you -should upset yourself so greatly about it.”</p> - -<p>“Well, you see,” was the reply, “I’m the head -gardener here as well as Troubadour, and so am -responsible for all these things. I do troubing -as an extra,” he explained. “Three shillings -a week and my armor. Little enough, isn’t it, -considering the risk?”</p> - -<p>“Well, the office certainly does not seem overpopular, -judging from last night,” I laughed. -“Who were you serenading?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, any one,” was the reply. “I give it -to them in turns. If any one offends me in the -daytime I pay them out at night, see?</p> - -<p>“I serenaded the Sister-in-Law mostly, but I -shall give that up. She doesn’t play fair. I don’t -mind people shying things at me in the least, for -you see I’m pretty well protected; but when it -comes to chivying me round the garden with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> -pair of tongs, it’s more than I bargained for. -Look out! Here comes the Wallypug,” he continued.</p> - -<p>Sure enough his Majesty was walking down -the path, attended by A. Fish, Esq., who was -wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge -book.</p> - -<p>“Ah! good morning—good morning,” cried -his Majesty, hurrying towards me. “I’d no idea -you were out and about so early. I’m just having -my usual morning lesson.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said A. Fish, Esq., smiling, and offering -me a fin. “Ever sidse I god rid of by cold -I’ve been teaching the Wallypug elocutiod. We -have ad ‘our every bordig before breakfast, ad -he’s geddig on spledidly.”</p> - -<p>“I’m sure his Majesty is to be congratulated -on having so admirable an instructor,” I remarked, -politely, if not very truthfully.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-058.jpg" width="400" height="454" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“His Majesty was walking down the path, attended by A. -Fish, Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a -huge book.”— -<a href="#Page_58">Page 58</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Thags,” said A. Fish, Esq., looking very -pleased. “I say, Wallypug, recide that liddle -thig frob Richard III., jusd to show hib how -well you cad do id, will you? You doe thad thig -begiddidg ’Ad ’orse, ad ’orse, by kigdob for ad -’orse.’”</p> - -<p>“Yes, go on, Wallypug!” chimed in the Troubadour, -indulgently.</p> - -<p>“Oh, I don’t know,” said his Majesty, simpering -nervously. “I’m afraid I should break down.”</p> - -<p>“Doe you wondt, doe you wondt,” said A. -Fish, Esq. “Cub alog, try id.”</p> - -<p>So his Majesty stood up, with his hands folded -in front of him, and was just about to begin, when -a bell in a cupola on the top of the palace began -to ring violently.</p> - -<p>“Good gracious, the breakfast bell! We shall -be late,” cried the Wallypug, anxiously grasping -my hand and beginning to run towards the -palace.</p> - -<p>A. Fish, Esq., also shuffled along behind us as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span> -quickly as possible, taking three or four wriggling -steps, and then giving a funny little hop with his -tail, till, puffing and out of breath, we arrived -at the palace just as the bell stopped ringing.</p> - -<p>His Majesty hastily rearranged his disordered -crown, and led the way into the dining hall.</p> - -<p>A turtle carrying a large dish just inside the -door whispered warningly to the Wallypug as we -entered, “Look out! You’re going to catch it,” -and hurried away.</p> - -<p>A good many creatures were seated at the table -which ran down the center of the room, and at -the head of which his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law -presided, with a steaming urn before her. The -Doctor-in-Law occupied a seat near by, and I -heard him remark:</p> - -<p>“They are two minutes late, madame. I -hope you are not going to overlook it,” to -which the lady replied, grimly, “You leave -that to me.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Sit there,” she remarked coldly, motioning -me to a vacant seat, and the Wallypug and A. -Fish, Esq., subsided into the two other unoccupied -chairs on the other side of the table.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER V.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE TRIAL.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">For</span> a moment nobody spoke. The Wallypug -sat back in a huddled heap in his chair, looking -up into Madame’s face with a scared expression. -A. Fish unconcernedly began to eat some steaming -porridge from a plate in front of him—and -I sat still and waited events.</p> - -<p>A band of musicians in the gallery at the end -of the hall were playing somewhat discordantly, -till Madame turned around and called out in an -angry voice:</p> - -<p>“Just stop that noise, will you? I can’t hear -myself speak.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-063.jpg" width="300" height="460" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“STOP THAT NOISE!”</p> -</div> - -<p>The musicians immediately left off playing -with the exception of an old hippopotamus, playing -a brass instrument, who being deaf, and very -near-sighted, had neither heard what had been -said nor observed that the others had stopped. -With his eyes fixed on the music stand in front<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> -of him, he kept up a long discordant tootling on -his own account, gravely beating time with his -head and one foot.</p> - -<p>His Majesty’s Sister-in-Law turned around furiously -once or twice, and then seeing that the -creature did not leave off, she threw a teacup at -his head, and followed it up with the sugar -basin.</p> - -<p>The latter hit him, and hastily dropping his -instrument, he looked over the top of his spectacles -in surprise.</p> - -<p>Perceiving that the others had left off playing, -he apparently realized what had happened, and -meekly murmuring, “I beg your pardon,” he -leaned forward with one foot up to his ear, to -hear what was going on.</p> - -<p>“I’m waiting to know what you have to say -for yourselves,” resumed Madame, addressing -the Wallypug and myself.</p> - -<p>“The traid was late, add there was a fog od<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> -the lide,” explained A. Fish, Esq., mendaciously, -with his mouth full of hot porridge.</p> - -<p>“A likely story!” said the good lady sarcastically. -“A very convenient excuse, I must say; -but that train’s been late too many times recently -to suit me. I don’t believe a word of -what you are saying.”</p> - -<p>“If I might venture a suggestion,” said the -Doctor-in-Law, sweetly, “I would advise that -they should all be mulcted in heavy fines, and I -will willingly undertake the collection of the -money for a trifling consideration.”</p> - -<p>“It’s too serious a matter for a fine,” said the -Madame severely. “What do you mean by it?” -she demanded, glaring at me furiously.</p> - -<p>“Well, I’m sure we are all very sorry,” I remarked, -“but I really do not see that being two -minutes late for breakfast is such a dreadful -affair after all.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! you don’t, don’t you?” said the Sister-in-Law,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span> -working herself up into a terrible state -of excitement; “Well, I do, then. Do you suppose -that you are going to do just as you please -here? Do you think that I am going to allow -myself to be brow-beaten and imposed upon by a -mere man——”</p> - -<p>“Who hasn’t a hat to his back,” interposed the -Doctor-in-Law, spitefully.</p> - -<p>“Hold your tongue,” said the Sister-in-Law. -“I’m dealing with him now. Do you suppose,” -she went on, “that I am to be openly defied by a -ridiculous Wallypug and a person with a cold in -his head?”</p> - -<p>“I’b sure I havn’d,” declared A. Fish, Esq., -indignantly. “By code’s beed cured this last -bunth or bore.”</p> - -<p>“Humph, sounds like it, doesn’t it?” said the -lady, tauntingly. “However, we’ll soon settle -this matter. We’ll have a public meeting, and -see who’s to be master, you or I.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Hooray, public meeting! Public meeting!” -shouted all the creatures excitedly.</p> - -<p>“Yes, and at once,” said the Sister-in-Law -impressively, getting up and leaving the table, -regardless of the fact that scarcely anybody had -as yet had any breakfast.</p> - -<p>The rest of the creatures followed her out of -the room.</p> - -<p>When they had quite disappeared and the -Wallypug, A. Fish, Esq., and myself were left -alone, I thought that we might as well help ourselves -to some breakfast. So I poured out some -of the coffee, which we found excellent, and -had just succeeded in persuading his Majesty -to try a little bread and butter, when some -crocodiles appeared at the door and announced: -“You are commanded to attend the trial at -once.”</p> - -<p>“What trial?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Your own,” was the reply. “You and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> -Wallypug are to be tried for ‘Contempt of Sister-in-Law,’ -and A. Fish, Esq., is subpœnaed as a -witness.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” said the poor Wallypug, -wringing his hands. “I know what that -means. Whatever shall we do?”</p> - -<p>“Dever bide, old chap. I do the best I -cad to get you off,” said A. Fish, Esq. “Cub -alog, it will odly bake badders worse to delay.”</p> - -<p>So we allowed ourselves to be taken in charge -by the crocodiles, and led to the Public Hall, -his Majesty and myself being loaded with -chains.</p> - -<p>We found the Sister-in-Law and the Doctor-in-Law -seated at the judges’ bench when we entered. -The Sister-in-Law wore a judge’s red robe, and a -long, flowing wig under her usual head-dress, -and the Doctor-in-Law was provided with a slate, -pencil, and sponge.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span></p> - -<div class="floatright"> - <img src="images/ill-069.jpg" width="200" height="266" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“SILENCE IN COURT!”<br /> -SCREAMED THE OSTRICH.</p> -</div> - -<p>We were conducted to a kind of dock on one -side of the bench, and on the other side appeared -what afterwards transpired -to be the witness box. The -body of the hall was crowded -with animals, craning their -necks to catch a glimpse of us.</p> - -<p>“Silence in court,” screamed -out a gaily-dressed ostrich, -and the trial began.</p> - -<p>“We’ll take the man creature -first,” said the Sister-in-Law, -regarding me contemptuously. “Now -then, speak up! What have you got to say for -yourself?”</p> - -<p>“There appears to be—” I began.</p> - -<p>“Silence in court,” shouted the ostrich, who -was evidently an official.</p> - -<p>“Surely I may be allowed to explain,” I protested.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Silence in court,” shouted the bird again.</p> - -<p>I gave it up and remained silent. “Call the -first witness,” remarked the Sister-in-Law impatiently, -and the Turtle, whom I had seen cleaning -the steps in the morning, walked briskly up -into the witness-box.</p> - -<p>“Well, Turtle, what do you know about this -man?” was the first question.</p> - -<p>“So please your Importance, I was cleaning -my steps very early this morning, when the prisoner -opened the door in a stealthy manner and -crept out very quietly. ‘Ho!’ thinks I, ‘this -’ere man’s up to no good,’ and so I keeps him in -conversation a little while, but his language—oh!—and -what with one thing and another and -noticing that he hadn’t a hat, I told him he had -better move on. I saw him walk over to the rose -garden and afterwards join the Wallypug and -Mr. Fish. I think that’s all, except—ahem—that -I missed a small piece of soap.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Soap?” said the Doctor-in-Law, elevating -his eyebrows. “This is important—er—er—what -kind of soap?”</p> - -<p>“Yellow,” said the Turtle. “Fourpence a -pound.”</p> - -<p>“Hum!” said the Doctor-in-Law, “very mysterious, -but not at all surprising from what I -know of this person—call the next witness.”</p> - -<p>The next witness was the Cockatoo, who -scrambled into the box in a great fluster.</p> - -<p>“He’s a story-teller, and a pickpocket, and a -backbiter, and a fibber, and a bottle-washer,” she -screamed excitedly, “and a heartless deceiver, -and an organ-grinder, so there!” And she -danced out of the witness-box again excitedly, -muttering, “Down with him, down with him, -the wretch,” all the way back to her seat.</p> - -<p>“Ah, that will about settle him, I fancy,” remarked -the Doctor-in-Law, putting down some -figures on his slate and counting them up.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span></p> - -<p>“What are you doing?” demanded the Sister-in-Law.</p> - -<p>“Summing up,” was the reply. “The judges -always sum up in England, you know; that’s -thirty-two pounds he owes. Shall I collect -it?”</p> - -<p>“Wait a minute till I pass the sentence,” said -the Sister-in-Law.</p> - -<p>“Prisoner at the bar,” she continued, “you -have since your arrival here been given every -latitude.”</p> - -<p>“And longitude,” interrupted the Doctor-in-Law.</p> - -<p>“And have taken advantage of the fact to disobey -the laws of the land in every possible way. -You have heard the evidence against you, and I -may say more clear proof could not have been -given. It appears that you are a thoroughly -worthless character, and it is with great pleasure -I order you to be imprisoned in the deepest<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> -dungeon beneath the castle moat, and fined -thirty-two pounds and costs.”</p> - -<p>Then pointing to me tragically, she called out, -“Officers! take away that Bauble!” And I was -immediately seized by two of the crocodiles, preparatory -to being taken below.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VI.</h2> - -<p class="pch">HIS MAJESTY IS DEPOSED.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">“Stop</span> a minute!” cried Madame, as I was -being led away. “We may as well settle the -Wallypug’s affair at the same time and get rid of -them both at once. Put the creature into the -dock.”</p> - -<p>His Majesty was hustled forward, looking very -nervous and white, as he stood trembling at the -bar, while Madame regarded him fiercely.</p> - -<p>“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” she demanded.</p> - -<p>“Ye-e-s!” stammered his Majesty, though -what the poor little fellow had to be ashamed of -was more than I could tell.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I should think so, indeed,” commented the -lady. “Now then, call the first witness.”</p> - -<p>The first witness was A. Fish, Esq., who -coughed importantly as he stepped up into the -box with a jaunty air. “Let’s see, what’s your -name?” asked the Doctor-in-Law, with a supercilious -stare. Now, this was absurd, for, of -course, he knew as well as I did what the Fish’s -name was; but as I heard him whisper to -Madame, the judges in England always pretend -not to know <i>anything</i>, and he was doing the same.</p> - -<p>“By dabe is A. Fish, you doe thadt well -edough,” was the answer.</p> - -<p>“Don’t be impertinent, or I shall commit you -for contempt,” said the Doctor-in-Law, severely. -“Now then—ah—you are a reptile of some sort, -I believe, are you not?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly dot!” was indignant reply.</p> - -<p>“Oh! I thought you were. Er—what do you -do for a living?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I’b a teacher of elocutiod add a lecturer,” -said A. Fish, Esq., importantly.</p> - -<p>“Oh! indeed. Teacher of elocution, are you? -And how many pupils have you, pray?”</p> - -<p>“Well, ad presend I’ve odly wud,” replied A. -Fish, Esq., “and that the Wallypug.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! the Wallypug’s a pupil of yours, is he? -I suppose you find him very stupid, don’t you?”</p> - -<p>“Doe, I don’t!” said A. Fish, Esq., loyally. -“He’s a very clever pupil, ad he’s gettig od splendidly -with his recitig.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! is he, indeed; and what do you teach -him, may I ask?”</p> - -<p>“I’ve taught hib ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’ -ad ‘Billy’s dead ad gone to glory,’ ad several other -things frob Shakespeare.”</p> - -<p>“Shakespeare? hum—ha—Shakespeare? I -seem to have heard the name before. Who is he?”</p> - -<p>“A great poet, born in England in 1564, m’lud,” -explained one of the Crocodiles.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Really! He must be getting quite an old -man by now,” said the Doctor-in-Law, vaguely.</p> - -<p>“He’s dead,” said A. Fish, Esq., solemnly.</p> - -<p>“Dear me! poor fellow! what did he die of?”</p> - -<p>“Don’t ask such a lot of silly questions,” interrupted -the Sister-in-Law, impatiently; “get on -with the business. What has A. Fish to say on -behalf of the Wallypug? that is the question.”</p> - -<p>“He’s gettig od very dicely with his recitig,” -insisted A. Fish, Esq. “He was repeatig a speech -from Richard III. to us this bordig whed the -breakfast bell rang, ad that’s why we were late -at table.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! that’s the reason, is it?” said the Sister-in-Law. -“Bah! I’ve no patience with a man at -his time of life repeating poetry. Positively -childish, I call it. What was the rubbish?” she -demanded, turning to the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,” -began his Majesty, feebly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span></p> - -<p>“What!” shrieked the Sister-in-Law, starting -up from her seat. “Say that again!”</p> - -<p>“‘A-a horse, a horse, my-my kingdom for a -horse,’” stammered the Wallypug, nervously.</p> - -<p>“Traitor! Monster!” cried the Sister-in-Law -furiously. “Hear him!” she screamed. “He -actually has the effrontery to tell us to our faces -that he is willing to sell the whole of this kingdom -for a horse. Oh! it is too much! the heartless -creature! Oh-h!” and the lady sank back and -gasped hysterically. At this there was a terrible -uproar in the court—the animals stood up on the -seats, frantically gesticulating and crying: -“Traitor!” “Down with the Wallypug!” “Off -with his head!” “Banish him!” “Send him to -jail!” while above all could be heard the Cockatoo -screaming:</p> - -<p>“I told you so. I told you so! Down with -the Wallypug! Off with his crown! Dance on -his sceptre, and kick his orb round the town.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span></p> - -<p>The poor Wallypug threw himself on his knees -and called out imploringly, “It’s all a mistake,” -and I tried in vain to make myself heard above -the uproar.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-079.jpg" width="400" height="353" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“TRAITOR! MONSTER!” “OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”</p> -</div> - -<p>The whole assembly seemed to have taken leave -of their senses, and for a few moments the utmost -confusion prevailed. The creatures nearest to the -Wallypug seemed as though they would tear him -to pieces in their fury, and if it had not been for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> -his jailers, the Crocodiles, I am convinced they -would have done him some injury. “This is -outrageous,” I managed to shout at last. “You -are making all this disturbance for nothing. -What the Wallypug said was merely a quotation -from one of Shakespeare’s plays.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, it’s all very well to try and blame it on -to poor Shakespeare, when you know very well -he’s dead and can’t defend himself,” was Madame’s -reply. “That’s your artfulness. I’ve no doubt -you are quite as bad as the Wallypug himself, -and probably put him up to it.”</p> - -<p>“Yes. Down with him! Down with the hatless -traitor!” screamed the Cockatoo.</p> - -<p>And despite our protests the Wallypug and -myself were loaded with chains and marched off -by the Crocodiles, his Majesty having first been -robbed of his crown, sceptre, and orb, and other -insignia of Royalty by the Doctor-in-Law, who -hadn’t a kind word to say for his old sovereign,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> -and who seemed positively to rejoice at his Majesty’s -downfall. I was highly indignant with -his heartless ingratitude, but could do positively -nothing, while all of my protests were drowned -in the babel of sounds made by the furious creatures -in the body of the court.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-081.jpg" width="400" height="342" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE WALLYPUG WAS LOADED WITH CHAINS AND MARCHED OFF BY THE -CROCODILES.</p> -</div> - -<p>After being taken from the dock I was marched -off in one direction and his Majesty in another, -and the last view I had of the Wallypug was that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span> -of the poor little fellow being limply dragged -along by two Crocodiles in the direction of the -dungeons. I was conducted to the top room of a -tower, in an unfrequented part of the palace, and -there left to my reflections, without any one to -speak to for the remainder of the day.</p> - -<p>Towards the evening I heard some shouting at -the bottom of the tower, and looking out as well -as I could through the barred window, I saw the -Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of -newspapers under one arm—and heard him calling -out, in a loud voice, “Special edition! Arrest -of the Wallypug! Shocking discovery! The -Wallypug a traitor! Sister-in-Law prostrate with -excitement! The Hatless Man implicated!” He -was doing a roaring trade, as nearly everybody -was buying papers of him, and excited groups of -animals were standing about eagerly discussing -what was evidently the cause of a tremendous -sensation in the kingdom of Why.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-083.jpg" width="400" height="427" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of -newspapers under one arm, calling out in a loud voice, ‘Special -edition! Arrest of the Wallypug!’”— -<a href="#Page_82">Page 82</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VII.</h2> - -<p class="pch">FOILED!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">I stood</span> at the barred window for some time, -watching the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with -his papers, and then started back as a huge and -disreputable-looking black Crow settled on the -stone ledge outside.</p> - -<p>I soon recognized him as being the bird who -had behaved so impertinently to me on my first -arrival at Why.</p> - -<p>“Well!” he exclaimed, squeezing himself -through the iron bars, and staring at me over -the tops of his spectacles. “You have got yourself -into a pretty muddle now, I must say. I -should think you are thoroughly ashamed of yourself, -aren’t you?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Indeed, I’m not,” I replied. “I’m not conscious -of having done anything to be ashamed of, -and as for that trial, why it was a mere farce, -and perfectly absurd,” and I laughed heartily at -the recollection of it.</p> - -<p>“H’m! I’m glad you find it so amusing,” remarked -the bird sententiously. “You won’t be -so light-hearted about it to-morrow if they treat -you as the papers say they purpose doing.”</p> - -<p>“Why, what do they intend to do then?” I -exclaimed, my curiosity thoroughly aroused.</p> - -<p>“Execute you,” said the Crow solemnly. -“And serve you jolly well right, too.”</p> - -<p>“What nonsense!” I cried, “they can’t execute -me for doing nothing.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, you think so, do you? Didn’t you instigate -the Wallypug to become a traitor, and sell -the kingdom for the sake of a horse?” said the -Crow, referring to his paper.</p> - -<p>“Certainly not!” I cried emphatically.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Well, they say you did, anyhow,” said the -Crow, “and they intend to chop off your head and -the Wallypug’s too. It won’t matter you not -having a hat then,” he continued grimly.</p> - -<p>“But you don’t mean it, surely!” I exclaimed. -“They certainly can’t be so ridiculous as to treat -the affair seriously.”</p> - -<p>“Well, you see,” said the bird, “things without -doubt look very black against you. In the -first place what did you want to come here at all -for?”</p> - -<p>“I’m sure I wish I hadn’t,” I remarked.</p> - -<p>“Just so! So does every one else,” said the -Crow rudely. “Then, when you did come, you -were without a hat, which is in itself a very suspicious -circumstance.”</p> - -<p>“Why?” I interrupted.</p> - -<p>“Respectable people don’t go gadding about -without hats,” said the bird contemptuously, -turning up his beak. “And then, the first morning<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> -after your arrival you must needs go prowling -about the grounds before any one else was -up.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-086.jpg" width="300" height="322" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME IN YOUR WILL?”</p> -</div> - -<p>“What are you going to leave me in your -will?” he continued insinuatingly.</p> - -<p>“Nothing at all,” I declared. “And besides, -I’m not going to make a will. I don’t intend to -let them kill me without a good struggle, I can -tell you.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span></p> - -<p>“H’m, you might as well let me have your -watch and chain. It will only go to the Doctor-in-Law -if you don’t. He is sure to want to grab -everything. I expect he will want to seize the -throne when the Wallypug is executed. I saw -him just now trying on the crown, and smirking -and capering about in front of the looking-glass.”</p> - -<p>“The Doctor-in-Law is an odious little monster,” -I exclaimed.</p> - -<p>“Oh, very well,” cried the Crow, wriggling -through the bars, “I’ll just go and tell him what -you say. I’ve no doubt he will be delighted to -hear your opinion of him—and perhaps it will induce -him to add something to your punishment. -I hope so, I’m sure—ha—ha!”</p> - -<p>And the wretched ill-omened bird flew away -laughing derisively.</p> - -<p>I could not help feeling rather uncomfortable -at the turn which events had taken, for there -was no knowing to what lengths the extraordinary<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> -inhabitants of this remarkable place might -go, and if it had really been decided that the poor -Wallypug and myself should be executed on the -morrow, then there was no time to be lost in our -efforts to effect an escape.</p> - -<p>I was puzzling over the matter, and wondering -what was best to be done, when I heard a bell -ringing at the other end of the apartment.</p> - -<p>“Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling,” for all the world -like the ring of a telephone call bell.</p> - -<p>I ran across the room, and sure enough, there -was a telephone fitted up in the far corner. I -hastily put the receiver to my ears, and heard a -squeaky voice inquiring:</p> - -<p>“Are you there? Are you 987654321?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” I called out, for I thought that I might -as well be this number as any other.</p> - -<p>“Well,” the voice replied, in an agitated way, -“Aunt Kesiah has done it at last.”</p> - -<p>“What?” I shouted.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-088.jpg" width="400" height="510" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“Are you there?” cried A. Fish, Esq. “Yes; what is it?” I -asked.— -<a href="#Page_89">Page 89</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Proposed to the curate, and so all those -slippers will be wasted. Don’t you think we had -better—”</p> - -<p>But I rang off and stopped the connection, for -I felt sure that the communication was not intended -for me.</p> - -<p>Presently there was another ring at the bell, -and this time I found myself connected with the -exchange. I knew that it was the exchange, -because they were all quarreling so.</p> - -<p>“It was all your fault!” “No it wasn’t.” -“Yes it was.” “Well, you know A. Fish, Esq., -is 13,579—so there.” “Yes, and he wanted to be -connected with the West Tower in the Palace.”</p> - -<p>“Connect me with 13,579, please,” I called.</p> - -<p>And a moment or two afterwards I heard a -well-known voice sounding through the instrument, -and I knew that A. Fish, Esq., was at the -other end.</p> - -<p>“Are you there?” he cried.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Yes; what is it?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“There isn’t a biddit to spare,” he gasped; -“lift up the loose stode dear the fireplace, ad you -will find a secret staircase leadig to the dudgeod, -where the Wallypug is ibprisod; hurry for your -life, he has discovered a way of escape.”</p> - -<p>I dropped the receiver, and flew to the fireplace. -Yes, sure enough, there was the loose stone that -A. Fish, Esq., had spoken of, and having raised -it with some difficulty I found a narrow spiral -staircase beneath, leading down into mysterious -depths.</p> - -<p>I plunged into the darkness, and after walking -round and round, and down and down, for a considerable -time I saw a faint light at the other end. -I hurried forward as quickly as I could, and found -myself in a dimly-lighted dungeon. The Wallypug -was here alone, and was busily cramming -everything he could lay his hands on into an -enormous carpet-bag.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Thank goodness, you have come!” he exclaimed, -in a terrible fluster, when he saw me. -“I was afraid you would be too late. We must -escape at once if we would save our necks. Fortunately, -I have just remembered that this dungeon -is connected with the shute which the late -Wallypug had constructed between here and Ling -Choo, in China, which is on the other side of the -world—it is enormously long and very steep, but -quite safe—we must use it in order to get -away. We are to be executed in the morning if -we stay here, so I am informed; therefore, we -must lose no time. I have just finished packing -up. Ah! What’s that?” he exclaimed, listening -intently.</p> - -<p>“Quick! they are coming!” he cried, as sounds -were heard in the passage outside the dungeon -door; and touching a spring, an enormous opening -appeared in the wall. His Majesty gave me -a sudden push, which sent me sprawling on to a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> -smooth and very steep incline, and jumping down -himself, we slid rapidly away into the unknown.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-092.jpg" width="300" height="452" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">WE SLID RAPIDLY DOWN THE SHUTE.</p> -</div> - -<p>That we were only just in time was evidenced -by the cries of rage and disappointment which -pursued us from the dungeon, as the Doctor-in-Law<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> -and the other creatures saw us escape from -their clutches, and we could hear the Cockatoo’s -shrill cries grow fainter and fainter as we sped -swiftly down the shute towards Ling Choo.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VIII.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Down</span>, and down, and down we flew, quicker -and quicker each moment. The shute was as -smooth as glass, and grew steeper than ever as -we descended. His Majesty was a little way behind -me, but the terrific rate at which we were -traveling made it impossible for us to hold any -conversation. Once or twice I shouted out something -to him, but receiving no reply I soon gave -that up. The attitude in which I was slipping -down the shute was a most uncomfortable one, -but after a considerable time I managed to turn -over on to my back, and eventually to twist -around, till, at any rate, I was traveling feet foremost, -which was some slight consolation, although<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> -naturally I was dreadfully concerned as to what -was to be our fate at the other end of our journey. -“Slipping along at this rate,” I thought, “we -shall probably be smashed to a jelly when we do -arrive at the bottom. At any rate I shall, for the -Wallypug and the carpet-bag are bound to descend -upon my devoted head.”</p> - -<p>By and by I began to grow very hungry, and -then came another dismal thought. Supposing -this extraordinary trip continued for any length -of time, how should we get on for food?</p> - -<p>We seemed to be traveling through a kind of -tunnel, with very smooth walls on either side. -The Wallypug had said that we were bound for -China, and that that country was on the other -side of the world. If so, then we were in for a -pretty long journey. I twisted my head around, -and tried to get a glimpse of his Majesty, who -was only a few yards above me. I could see that -he was struggling to get something out of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> -carpet-bag, and a few minutes afterwards a little -packet of sandwiches came whizzing past my -head. I managed to catch it as it fell upon the -highly-polished boards by stretching out one leg -just in time to prevent it from slipping too far.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-096.jpg" width="300" height="355" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">I COULD SEE HE WAS STRUGGLING TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF -THE CARPET-BAG.</p> -</div> - -<p>The sandwiches were very good, and I enjoyed -them immensely, and for a few moments almost -forgot our strange surroundings. I was soon,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> -however, recalled to a sense of our condition by -the fact that we suddenly emerged from the tunnel -into broad daylight, the shute apparently descending -the steep sides of a high mountain. As -soon as my eyes became accustomed to the light -I noticed, to my great surprise, that everything -in this new country was of a deep rich blue color. -The rocks on the mountain side, the strange-looking -trees, and even the birds—of which I could -see several flying about—were all of the same -unusual tint.</p> - -<p>I had hardly noticed this fact, as we flew down -the side of the mountain, when I felt myself suddenly -pulled up with a jerk, and lifted high into -the air in a most unaccountable manner, and -when, after a moment or two, I recovered from -the shock, I found that both the Wallypug and -myself were suspended from a line at the end of -two long fishing-rods which were fastened into a -quaint little bridge crossing the shute.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span></p> - -<p>There we hung, dangling and bobbing about -in front of each other in the most ridiculous way, -the dear Wallypug still clinging to his carpet-bag -with one hand, while in the other he clutched a -half-eaten sandwich. I shall never forget his -Majesty’s surprised expression when he found -himself hanging up the air in this unexpected way.</p> - -<p>“Like being a bird, isn’t it?” he remarked -when at last he found a voice.</p> - -<p>“H’m, not much,” I replied. “I feel more -like a fish at the end of this line. I wish some -one would come and help us off. There’s a hook, -or something, sticking into my shoulder, and it -hurts no end.” You see there was evidently -something at the end of the lines which had caught -into our clothes, and the hook, or whatever it -was, just touched my shoulder. It did not hurt -very much, but just enough to make me feel uncomfortable.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-098.jpg" width="400" height="530" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, looking about -him. “What a funny colour everything is, to be sure.”— -<a href="#Page_98">Page 98</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, -looking about him. “What a funny color everything -is, to be sure.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, isn’t it?” I replied. And truly it was -a most remarkable scene. There was a curious -little kind of temple in the distance and a number -of most extraordinary-looking trees; and these, -and the grass, and, in fact, everything that could -be seen, were of a bright blue tint.</p> - -<p>“I know what those trees are called,” said the -Wallypug, pointing to some remarkable looking -ones, with a lot of large blue globes on the branches -instead of leaves.</p> - -<p>“What?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“Gombobble trees,” said his Majesty. “I’ve -seen pictures of them before.”</p> - -<p>“Where?” I asked, more for the sake of something -to say than for anything else.</p> - -<p>“On our willow-pattern plates at home,” said -his Majesty. “There were those and the wiggle-woggely -trees, you know.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I wonder,” he continued speculatively, “if -by any chance we are there.”</p> - -<p>“What do you mean?” I asked.</p> - -<p>“I wonder if this is the place which is shown -on the willow-pattern plates,” said his Majesty.</p> - -<p>Before I could reply we heard an excited exclamation -from the bank, and turning around as well -as we could we saw two curious little blue people -dressed in flowing blue costumes.</p> - -<p>“Oh!” they exclaimed, when they saw us, -throwing up their hands in a comical little way, -“we’ve caught something. What funny things! -What are they?”</p> - -<p>“I wonder if they bite,” cried the shorter of the -two.</p> - -<p>“Do you bite, you funny things, you?” cried -the other, shaking her head at us.</p> - -<p>“No, of course not,” said the Wallypug. -“Help us to get down, will you, please?”</p> - -<p>“Not yet,” said both of the little blue creatures,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> -shaking their heads simultaneously. “What are -your names?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-101.jpg" width="300" height="444" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“OH!” THEY EXCLAIMED, “WHAT ARE THEY?”</p> -</div> - -<p>“I’m the Wallypug,” explained his Majesty -graciously, “and this gentleman is——”</p> - -<p>“He, he, he! He, he, he! He, he, he!” giggled<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> -the little blue people. “They’re Wallypugs. -Two great big fat Wallypugs. Oh, oh! what -funny things. Let’s go and fetch Ho-lor.” And -they ran off as fast as their little blue legs would -carry them.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER IX.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE WALLYPUG RECOVERS HIS CROWN.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">His</span> Majesty and myself stared at each other -in dismay. Our position was growing more and -more uncomfortable every moment, and, added -to this, I had a growing impression that the -rods to which we were attached would sooner or -later break with our weight.</p> - -<p>“Well! I do think that they might have helped -us off the hooks, at any rate,” grumbled his -Majesty, discontentedly.</p> - -<p>“So do I,” I rejoined, and was about to add -something else when my attention was attracted -to the peculiar behavior of the two blue birds -which we had previously noticed circling about -over our heads.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p> - -<p>They were wheeling round and round in a most -eccentric manner, and as they drew closer we -could see that they were as singular in appearance -as they were in their manner.</p> - -<p>“Why, they’ve got ever so many wings!” -cried his Majesty in surprise.</p> - -<p>“Go away!” he shouted, as one of them fluttered -past his face. The birds, however, were not to -be got rid of so easily, and, uttering shrill little -cries, they hovered about over his Majesty’s -head, every now and then making a vicious -dart at the sandwich which he still held in one -hand.</p> - -<p>“Oh! take them away!—take them away!” he -shouted, dropping his carpet-bag in alarm, and evidently -forgetting that I was as incapable as he -was of driving them off.</p> - -<p>“Throw your sandwich away!” I shouted; -“it’s that they are after, I believe.”</p> - -<p>His Majesty did so, and we soon had the satisfaction<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> -of seeing the birds squabbling over it on -the bank at the side of the shute.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-105.jpg" width="300" height="457" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“GO AWAY!” SHOUTED HIS MAJESTY.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Fortunate I tied my bag to the string of my -cloak, wasn’t it?” remarked the Wallypug, when -they had gone. “I should have lost it else. Oh,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> -look! What’s that coming down the shute?” he -cried, as something suddenly came rolling and -bounding down the steep incline.</p> - -<p>“O—o—o—h!” he continued delightedly, as -it stopped, caught in the mouth of the carpet-bag -which, attached to the cord of his Majesty’s cloak, -dangled down the shute. “Why, it’s my crown! -They must have thought that I wanted it, and -sent it down after me. How very kind of them. -Wasn’t it?”</p> - -<p>I had my own opinions on the subject, and held -my peace, for I felt quite sure that it was not -through any intentional kindness that the crown -had found its way to its proper owner.</p> - -<p>His Majesty very carefully drew up the carpet-bag -with its precious burden, and soon had the intense -satisfaction of putting the crown of Why on -his royal head once more.</p> - -<p>“Oh!” he cried with a little sigh of satisfaction, -“it does seem nice to have it on again. I’m afraid<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> -that I should soon have -caught a cold in my head, -like A. Fish, Esq., if I -had gone without it -much longer.”</p> - -<div class="floatright"> - <img src="images/ill-107.jpg" width="200" height="564" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">A LONG LINE OF CREATURES WAS<br /> -COMING DOWN THE SHUTE.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Gracious!” he cried, -pointing excitedly towards -the top of the -shute, “there’s something -else coming down! -Why it’s the Doctor-in-Law -and Madame. Oh!—and -the Cockatoo—and—the -Rabbit and the -Mole. Bless me! if the -whole of Why isn’t coming -along.”</p> -<p>It was quite true; attached -to a strong rope -a long line of creatures<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> -was coming down the shute, the Doctor-in-Law -leading the way.</p> - -<p>He soon caught sight of us dangling at the end -of our rods, and calling out “Halt!” in a loud -voice, he pulled at the rope as a sign that they -were to stop. This signal was passed along by the -others, and the Cockatoo, who was attached to the -rope in a very uncomfortable manner, gave a loud -“squ-a-a-k” as the sudden jerk caused it to -tighten about her neck.</p> - -<p>The signal, however, managed somehow to -reach those at the other end, for the procession -suddenly came to a standstill.</p> - -<p>“Oh, there you are then!” called out the Doctor-in-Law -in a severe voice. “Thought you had -escaped us, I suppose.”</p> - -<p>The Cockatoo, in a voice choking with rage, and -the tightened rope, shrieked out, “Down with the -traitors!” while the Rabbit passed the word -along, “It’s all right. We’ve found them.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Just you come down and tie yourself to this -rope at once!” called out Madame, glaring -fiercely at the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Shan’t!” shouted his Majesty defiantly, pushing -his crown further on to his head.</p> - -<p>“What!” screamed the good lady, in a terrible -passion. “Do you dare to rebel?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I do,” called out his Majesty bravely. -“I don’t believe you are my sister-in-law at all, -and I’m not going back to Why to be snubbed and -ill-treated for you or any one else—so there. You -can’t get at me, hanging up here, and I don’t -mean to get down till you’re gone. Yah!”</p> - -<p>“Oh, we’ll soon see all about that,” called out -the Doctor-in-Law, working himself to the edge -of the shute, and trying to climb up the steep -sides of the bank.</p> - -<p>We watched his endeavors with considerable -anxiety, for if he did succeed in getting on to the -bank, it would be an easy matter for him to get<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span> -at us, by means of the bridge. The rope, however, -by which he was attached to the Sister-in-Law -was not sufficiently long to enable him to do -this, and while he was unfastening it there was -a sudden cry in the direction of the tunnel, and -a moment afterwards, screaming, kicking, and -struggling, the whole party rapidly disappeared -down the shute.</p> - -<p>The rope had given way!</p> - -<p>“He, he, he! Ha, ha!” laughed his Majesty, -as the huddled mass vanished in the distance. -“What a lark! Oh what a muddle they will be -in when they reach the bottom.”</p> - -<p>I tried to imagine what would be the result, and -came to the conclusion that, uncomfortable as I -was in my present position, I would rather be -where I was than attached to the rope with the -others.</p> - -<p>In the meantime the little blue people, their -curiosity evidently aroused by the noise, were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> -hurrying towards us as quickly as possible, bringing -with them a very stout blue person, who was -waddling along, being alternately pushed and -pulled by the others in their eagerness to reach us.</p> - -<p>“See, there they are!” cried the little lady -whose name we afterwards found out was Gra-Shus. -“Oh my! Aren’t they a funny color?”</p> - -<p>“Shall we get them down?” asked the other, -whose name was Mi-Hy.</p> - -<p>The little fat man regarded us critically, and -said nothing for a moment or two, then he nodded -his head violently.</p> - -<p>“You’re sure you won’t bite?” said Mi-Hy, -looking up into my face.</p> - -<p>“No, of course not. Don’t be silly,” I replied.</p> - -<p>Thereupon, after a great deal of pulling and -pushing on the part of Mi-Hy and Gra-Shus, the -rods to which we were attached were swung -around, and the Wallypug and myself alighted, -one on either side of the bank.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span></p> - -<p>His Majesty smoothed his rumpled garments, -and, adjusting his crown to a more becoming -angle, positively swaggered across the bridge to -where the three little blue people stood in a line -to receive us.</p> - -<p>“This is Ho-Lor,” said Mi-Hy, pushing the little -fat man forward, while Gra-Shus bashfully hid -behind the ample folds of his gorgeous blue skirts.</p> - -<p>“How do you do?” asked his Majesty graciously.</p> - -<p>“Do what?” asked Ho-Lor, smilingly.</p> - -<p>“I mean, how are you?” explained the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“You mean <i>what</i> am I, I suppose?” said the -little man, putting on a puzzled expression.</p> - -<p>“No, I don’t,” said the Wallypug. “I mean -just what I say—How are you?”</p> - -<p>“But I don’t understand,” replied Ho-Lor. -“How am I what?”</p> - -<p>“His Majesty the Wallypug of Why,” I explained, -“wishes to say, that he hopes you are -quite well.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-112.jpg" width="400" height="490" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">His Majesty swaggered across the bridge to where the three -little blue people stood in a line to receive us.— -<a href="#Page_112">Page 112</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Oh! I beg your pardon” said Ho-Lor. “How -very stupid of me. But you know, the fact is, -we get such a lot of foreigners down here, and -they do ask such funny questions. A Frenchman -we caught the other day actually asked me -how I carried myself. Wasn’t it rude of him—considering -my weight too?”</p> - -<p>“You’re a Wallypug, too, aren’t you?” asked -Gra-Shus, looking smilingly up into my face.</p> - -<p>“Oh, no!” I replied; “I am only his Majesty’s -guest.”</p> - -<p>“His Majesty! Do you mean that?” said Mi-Hy, -pointing to the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>The Wallypug drew himself up with an air of -offended dignity.</p> - -<p>“I am not a ‘that’; I’m a kind of a king,” -he explained, in a tone of remonstrance.</p> - -<p>“O-ooh!” exclaimed the little blue people, falling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span> -down on their knees and bowing their foreheads -to the ground, with their hands stretched -out before them. “Pray forgive us, Majestuous -Wallypug, we thought you were only an ordinary -person. You see we’ve never caught a king before. -Oh! don’t chop our heads off, will you?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-114.jpg" width="300" height="402" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“PRAY FORGIVE US,” EXCLAIMED THE BLUE PEOPLE.</p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Of course not,” said his Majesty, kindly.</p> - -<p>“But kings always chop off people’s heads, -don’t they?” cried the little people, anxiously.</p> - -<p>“Oh dear no,” said the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Get up; or you’ll spoil your clothes. Could -we have a cup of tea, please? We are rather -fatigued with our long journey.”</p> - -<p>The little blue people immediately jumped up -and led the way to where behind a clump of -curious blue trees the quaintest little boat you -could possibly imagine was moored against the -bank. A blue lake stretched as far as the eye -could reach, and a number of little islands were -dotted about it. On one, a little larger than the -rest, a quaint little blue pagoda could be seen.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER X.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE HOME OF HO-LOR.</p> - -<p>“<span class="smcap">I live</span> over there,” said Ho-Lor with pride, -pointing to the island with the pagoda on it. -“Mi-Hy shall row us across, and Gra-Shus shall -make us some tea.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! yes,” said Gra-Shus clapping her hands. -“And we’ll show Mr. Majesty Wallypug our -beautiful pet dog—won’t we?”</p> - -<p>It was impossible not to be interested in these -quaint and simple-minded little folk, and after -we had all stepped into the little boat and Mi-Hy -had pushed off, his Majesty was soon chatting -affably with Ho-Lor, who explained that he was -a mandarin of the Blue Button, and ninety-eighth-cousin-twice-removed -to the Emperor of China.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span></p> - -<p>We soon reached the opposite bank, and his -Majesty having been ceremoniously assisted out -of the boat, we ascended a slight hill, and soon -found ourselves before Ho-Lor’s residence. To -our great surprise we found that it exactly resembled -the building so familiar to all who have -seen a willow-pattern plate.</p> - -<p>The tall pillars at the portico, the quaintly-shaped -curly roofs, the little zig-zag fence running -along the path, and the curious trees, all -seemed to be old friends—while two little islands, -one of which was connected to the mainland by -a quaint bridge, completed the picture.</p> - -<p>The two birds, which had by this time finished -squabbling about the sandwich, were billing and -cooing over our heads, and the sight of them -seemed suddenly to convince us of the identity of -the spot.</p> - -<p>“Why, this must be the land of the Willow-pattern -plate,” cried his Majesty excitedly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Yes, it is,” admitted Ho-Lor. “Don’t you -think it is a very pretty spot?”</p> - -<p>“Charming,” declared the Wallypug; “I have -often wanted to come here.”</p> - -<p>“The real name of the place,” said Ho-Lor, “is -Wer-har-wei, and it is a portion of China; but -come, you must see our little dog; I can hear -that Mi-Hy has gone to fetch him.”</p> - -<p>“His name is Kis-Smee,” said Gra-Shus, “and -he is such a dear old thing. We’ve had him ever -since he was a puppy.”</p> - -<p>There was a sound of barking, and a confused -clattering of chains, which told of a dog being -unloosed. A moment afterwards there came -bounding out of the house the most extraordinary-looking -creature that I have ever beheld.</p> - -<p>It was a very fat and atrociously hideous animal, -bearing but slight resemblance to a dog. Its -enormous mouth wore a perpetual grin, and was -decorated at the corners with curious little scallops. -It was bandy-legged, and its hinder legs -were much longer than the front ones. Added -to this, the skin on its haunches was wrinkled up -into curious kind of rosettes, while its tail was -really all sorts of shapes.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-118.jpg" width="400" height="540" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“Come along, good dog! come and speak to the pretty -Wallypugs.”— -<a href="#Page_119">Page 119</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span></p> - -<p>This beautiful creature came careering down -the steps, dragging Mi-Hy with him, and was -hailed with delight by Gra-Shus, who cried in -endearing tones:</p> - -<p>“Come along, good dog! Come and speak to -the pretty Wallypugs. Good Kis-Smee. Good -dog, then!”</p> - -<p>His Majesty clutched my arm nervously, and -retreating behind the carpet-bag, regarded Kis-Smee -with a certain amount of suspicion, while I -must confess to having experienced a slight feeling -of uneasiness myself. For if Kis-Smee took -it into his ugly head to object to us, there was no -knowing what might be the result.</p> - -<p>There was no occasion for alarm, however, for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span> -Kis-Smee turned out to be one of the mildest and -best-behaved of dogs.</p> - -<p>He made great friends with the Wallypug at -once, and clumsily gamboled, or, as his Majesty -explained it, “flumped,” about him in the most -friendly manner.</p> - -<p>“He doesn’t take to strangers as a rule,” said -Ho-Lor, “but he certainly seems to have taken a -fancy to you.”</p> - -<p>“He is a beautiful creature,” said his Majesty, -politely patting the huge animal a little nervously.</p> - -<p>“Oh! I don’t know about that,” remarked -Ho-Lor, looking very pleased nevertheless. “He -is of a very rare breed, though.”</p> - -<p>“What kind of dog do you call him?” I -inquired.</p> - -<p>“He’s a smirkler dog,” replied Ho-Lor -proudly.</p> - -<p>“A what?” I exclaimed.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span></p> - -<p>“A smirkler. He smirkles for mivlets you -know,” was the reply.</p> - -<p>“Good gracious. What are they?” cried the -Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Mivlets?” asked Ho-Lor.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-121.jpg" width="300" height="243" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“HE IS A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE,” SAID HIS MAJESTY.</p> -</div> - -<p>His Majesty nodded.</p> - -<p>“Why young mivs, of course.”</p> - -<p>“But what are mivs?” asked his Majesty -curiously.</p> - -<p>“Things that are smirkled for,” replied Ho-Lor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span> -promptly. “But come. I see that Gra-Shus -has prepared some tea for us.”</p> - -<p>We entered the little blue temple and were -each presented with a little blue rug, upon which -we sat cross-legged, as we observed that Mi-Hy -and Ho-Lor were doing. Gra-Shus served us in -blue cups what tasted like delicious tea, but which -looked exactly like blue ink. No sooner had we -taken a few sips than I noticed that the Wallypug -was slowly turning a light blue color, while -at the same moment he stared at me fixedly a -moment, and then exclaimed: “Why, what a -funny color you are!”</p> - -<p>I looked at my hands, and found them a rich -blue shade.</p> - -<p>“We look like the Oxford and Cambridge boat -race, don’t we?” he continued: “I’m so glad -that I’m Cambridge!”</p> - -<p>I did not at all approve of the change, for -although we did not look so very remarkable in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span> -the midst of our strange surroundings, I could -not help thinking what an extraordinary object -I should be considered in London if I ever reached -that place again.</p> - -<p>“Oh! Aren’t they pretty now?” exclaimed -Gra-Shus, clapping her hands and dancing about -excitedly.</p> - -<p>“I am glad you think so,” I replied, in a huff.</p> - -<p>“Don’t you like it? Would you rather have -been green? We’ve plenty of green tea, you -know, if you wish.”</p> - -<p>“Thanks! I should prefer being my original -color, if you don’t mind,” I replied.</p> - -<p>“Dear me! I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid -we’re out of that color. Let’s see! Crushed -strawberry, wasn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Oh! let’s stay blue for a little while,” pleaded -his Majesty. “It’s such a change, and so very -uncommon, you know!”</p> - -<p>So blue we remained, and directly after we had<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span> -finished our tea Mi-Hy brought around the little -blue boat again, and we went for a row on the -ornamental lake.</p> - -<p>Somehow or another Kis-Smee was left behind, -and although the Wallypug suggested putting -back for him, it was finally decided, however, not -to do so.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-124.jpg" width="300" height="208" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">WE WENT FOR A ROW ON THE ORNAMENTAL LAKE.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Perhaps he will smirkle a mivlet while we are -away,” said Ho-Lor.</p> - -<p>And I confidently hoped that he might do so, -for I was as curious as was the Wallypug to know -what the term meant.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p> - -<p>Just then we passed a curious little blue island -with one tiny house on it, standing in the midst -of some curious trees and strangely-shaped rocks. -“Let’s go ashore and fish,” suddenly suggested -Mi-Hy.</p> - -<p>“Oh! yes, do,” cried the Wallypug. “I love -fishing; but I’m never allowed to do so in my -own land.”</p> - -<p>“Why not?” inquired Ho-Lor.</p> - -<p>“The fishes object,” replied his Majesty, -sadly; “they say that it gives them the tooth-ache.”</p> - -<p>“How absurd of them,” said Ho-Lor, sympathetically.</p> - -<p>“Yes; isn’t it perfectly ridiculous?” replied -his Majesty; “for they really haven’t any teeth, -you know.”</p> - -<p>By this time the boat had reached the shore, -and we all scrambled out and assisted Ho-Lor up -the steep rocks.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span></p> - -<p>From within the little blue house Mi-Hy -brought some rods and lines, and we began to -fish. There was no bait of any kind, but this -Ho-Lor explained was not necessary.</p> - -<p>Under the circumstances I was not surprised -to find that we did not get a bite for a considerable -time.</p> - -<p>At last, however, the Wallypug announced -with a delighted shout, “I’ve got one!” and we -all ran over to see what it was.</p> - -<p>Slowly his Majesty wound up his line, while -Mi-Hy hung over the rocks with a landing net. -“I’ve got it!” he shouted. “Oh, what a -beauty!” and diving his hand into the net, he -drew out—what do you think? An empty ink-bottle!</p> - -<p>I couldn’t help laughing at his Majesty’s -disappointed face, but Ho-Lor seemed positively -to think that it was a catch worth having. “It’s -in capital condition,” he exclaimed, examining<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> -it critically, “and has a beautifully-shaped -neck.”</p> - -<p>“But it’s only an old ink bottle,” objected the -poor Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“What else did you expect to catch, I should -like to know?” said Mi-Hy. “Some people are -never satisfied. Many a time I have fished here -a whole day and only caught a piece of blotting -paper or a pen-wiper.”</p> - -<p>“What funny things to catch!” exclaimed -the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“They are very appropriate things to get -from a lake of ink,” said Ho-Lor rather huffily.</p> - -<p>“Oh! I’m sure I beg your pardon, I had no -idea it was real ink,” said his Majesty, apologetically. -“I don’t think we had better fish any -longer,” he said putting away his rod. “I hoped -to have caught some real fish, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Never heard of them. What are they?” -asked Ho-Lor.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Why, things with scales, you know,” exclaimed -the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Oh, you mean weighing machines,” said -Mi-Hy.</p> - -<p>“No! no! I mean—”</p> - -<p>“Hark! what’s that?” said Ho-Lor, putting -his hand to his ear.</p> - -<p>“Come on! That’s Kis-Smee barking. I -expect he has smirkled a mivlet. Come along, -hurry up, or we shall be too late.”</p> - -<p>We hurriedly launched the little boat, and -were soon on our way across the little lake.</p> - -<p>The sound of furious barking, mingled with -a strangely familiar voice, came from behind -Ho-Lor’s house, and hurrying forward we came -suddenly upon a remarkable sight.</p> - -<p>Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble -tree to the lower branches of which -A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of -fright.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-128.jpg" width="400" height="503" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to -the lower branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an -agony of fright.— -<a href="#Page_128">Page 128</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Lie dowd, sir! Lie dowd, good dog, thed!” -he shouted, while Kis-Smee barked and made -sudden furious little darts at the fish’s tail.</p> - -<p>“Why, it’s A. Fish, Esq.,” cried his Majesty, -hurrying forward anxiously. “Come away, -Kis-Smee! Lie down, sir!”</p> - -<p>Kis-Smee left his quarry in the tree, and came -bounding up to the Wallypug, wagging his great -clumsy tail delightedly.</p> - -<p>“Good gracious!” exclaimed Mi-Hy, staring -in amazement at A. Fish, Esq. “That’s not -a mivlet, I’m sure—what on earth is the -creature?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, that’s A. Fish, Esq., a great friend of -mine,” hastily explained his Majesty, running to -his assistance, for when Kis-Smee had left him, -poor A. Fish, Esq., had dropped off the gombobble -tree, and was now lying exhausted on the blue -grass beneath.</p> - -<p>“What a dreadful bodster!” he cried, waving<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> -Kis-Smee off as we approached. “Keep hib off. -Take hib away!”</p> - -<p>“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, reassuringly, -“he won’t bite you now that we are here.”</p> - -<p>Indeed, directly the dog discovered that A. -Fish, Esq., was a friend of the Wallypug’s, he -went up to him, and grinning in an absurd way, -held out a paw to be shaken, which favor, however, -was declined by A. Fish, Esq., who evidently -regarded these overtures with a certain amount -of suspicion, and looked greatly relieved when -Ho-Lor and Mi-Hy, seeing that we were engaged -with a friend, considerately left us to ourselves, -and took Kis-Smee away with them.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XI.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE WHY AND WER-HAR-WEI RAILWAY.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">“Fancy</span> seeing you!” cried his Majesty, as -we sat down beside the Fish under the gombobble -tree. “How ever did you get here? And what’s -the news at Why?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, thad’s a log story,” said A. Fish, Esq., -and proceeded to tell us how that after we had -escaped from Why, by means of the shute, there -had been a great commotion in the place, and the -Doctor-in-Law was furious. He declared that we -should not slip through his hands in this way, -and had a long conversation with the Sister-in-Law -and the others as to the best way of affecting -our capture. Finally they decided to attach<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span> -themselves to a long rope, and come down the -shute in pursuit of us.</p> - -<p>A. Fish, Esq., made the excuse that his cold was -too bad to permit him to join the party, and -waited till they had got a good way down, -and then cut the rope. He thought that -this would be the best way of being of service -to us. And so it was, of course, for goodness -only knows where our pursuers were by -this time.</p> - -<p>A little while after he had cut the rope A. Fish, -Esq., came across the Crow, who told him that -he had been informed by two duffer birds (which -was the name of the curious blue birds which we -had noticed) that we were here at Wer-har-wei, -and had immediately set about to discover the -best way to get here.</p> - -<p>He went in the first place to the station-master -at Why, and found him, as usual, engaged in -squabbling with the porter.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span></p> - -<p>They were arguing as to whether a certain signal -should be up or down.</p> - -<p>The station-master declared that the signal -should always be up on the up line and down on -the down line. This the porter would not agree -to, so it was at last decided to put one up and one -down and leave them so, and then the engine-drivers -could do as they pleased about going on or -stopping.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-133.jpg" width="300" height="272" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">AS USUAL THE STATION-MASTER WAS SQUABBLING WITH THE PORTER.</p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span></p> - -<p>When they had quite settled this dispute, -A. Fish, Esq., had asked them if there were any -trains running between Why and this place, and -at first they had said no; but presently the porter -remembered that there was a certain train which -started on some days and went no one knew -where.</p> - -<p>No one was ever known to travel by it, and the -engine-driver, who was an old salamander by the -name of Mike, was deaf and dumb, and could -neither read nor write, so that they had never -been able to find out from him where his train -went to. It had some letters on it which corresponded -with those on the station-master’s collar, -but no one had ever been able to discover what -they meant. They were popularly supposed to -stand for Weary Waiting and Horribly Wobbly -Railway, the initials on the station-master’s collar -being W.W.H.W.R., but A. Fish, Esq., had -by a brilliant inspiration come to the conclusion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> -that they stood for Why and Wer-har-wei Railway, -and when the train, which consisted of only -one carriage and the engine, came into the station, -he jumped in, to the intense surprise of Mike, who -had never had a passenger before, and who in his -agitation recklessly put two shovelfuls of coal into -the furnace, and, giving a frantic “toot” on the -whistle, started off at full speed.</p> - -<p>“It was a dreadful journey,” said A. Fish, Esq., -“ad I dever had so bedy ups and dowds id all by -life.”</p> - -<p>We didn’t quite understand what he meant by -this at the moment, but a little later on we discovered -the reason to our cost.</p> - -<p>After an eventful journey, A. Fish, Esq., had -arrived at this place, and had found on alighting -from the train that no one was to be seen, and he -was just about to kick at the door of Ho-Lor’s -house when Kis-Smee came bounding out. Poor -A. Fish, Esq., had been terribly alarmed, and had<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> -made for the nearest tree, and was vainly trying -to climb up into it when we made our appearance.</p> - -<p>“If I were you,” he advised, “I should certaidly -cub back to Why at odce, for the people all -seeb to be rejoiced thad Madame and the Doctor-id-Law -have gode away, ad I think thad they -would willingly forgive you for having said, ‘Ad -horse! ad horse! by kigdob for ad horse!’”</p> - -<p>After talking the matter over for a few minutes -we decided that perhaps it would be the best thing -to do, and as the little blue station was only just -at the back of Ho-Lor’s house we thought that -perhaps by hurrying we should catch the same -train back to Why by which A. Fish, Esq., had -come. So we set out to try and find the little blue -people, to bid them “good-by,” and thank them -for their hospitality.</p> - -<p>We found them at the station sitting beside -Mike, to whom it appeared they were in the habit -of being very kind on his occasional visits.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span></p> - -<p>They seemed quite sorry to hear that we were -leaving them so soon, and insisted upon making -the Wallypug a present of Kis-Smee, and of stuffing -into my pocket an enormous gombobble as a -souvenir of my visit. Then there was just time -to look at the “train” before we started. I must -say that of all crazy, ramshackle affairs it was -quite the worst that I had ever seen. To begin -with, the wheels were all sorts of shapes, and not -one of them was quite round. There was only -one compartment, and that had no windows in it. -And the engine! Well, it was something like -Puffing Billy, only a little worse.</p> - -<p>There was no room for Kis-Smee in the carriage, -so we were obliged to chain him up on the roof, -evidently much to his disgust.</p> - -<p>I must confess to a certain feeling of uneasiness -when, having taken our seats, the engine gave a -snort, and puffing out a volume of dense black -smoke and smuts, started us on our journey.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span></p> - -<p>By reason of the odd shape of our wheels and -the unevenness of the rails the carriage pitched -and tossed about like a ship at sea, and our passage -over a little wooden viaduct, where on either -side the little blue people stood waving their -adieux with quaint little flags, was, I am convinced, -attended with considerable danger.</p> - -<p>It was really a dreadful journey. The carriage -pitched backward and forward, and rolled from -side to side with every revolution of the wheels, -while poor Kis-Smee, on the top, kept slipping -about in the most painful manner. His Majesty’s -carpet-bag, which had not been securely fastened -to the top of the carriage, slipped off soon after -we started, and though we rang the bell violently -Mike refused to stop, and it was lost forever.</p> - -<p>“Fortunately there was not much in it!” his -Majesty gasped between the jerks which the -irregular motion of the train occasioned. “Only -a tooth-brush and small cake of soap.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-138.jpg" width="500" height="335" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">The carriage pitched backward and rolled from side to side.— -<a href="#Page_138">Page 138</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span></p> - -<p>“But it felt quite full,” I remarked in surprise.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” explained his Majesty. “I stuffed it -full of paper and things, because I thought that -it would look so bad for a king to be traveling -about without any luggage.”</p> - -<p>Just then there was a yelp and a howl from -Kis-Smee, and looking out of the window we found -that the poor creature had fallen from the roof -and was hanging down by the chain which was -attached to the top of the carriage, and was in -momentary danger of being strangled.</p> - -<p>We managed, after a prolonged struggle, to -haul him in through the window, and, although -we were rather crowded, to find room for him in -the carriage. We had hardly settled down into -our places, however, before the train came to a -standstill, and Mike came to the door in a great -state of agitation.</p> - -<p>“Av yez plaze, sor,” he began.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Why! I thought you were deaf and dumb,” -I cried.</p> - -<p>“Och—that’s all gammon sure—oi can talk all -roight, and hear all roight too when it suits me -purpose. Well, now, ye see when the dog fell off -the roof he upset me coal-scuttle, and never a bit -of coal is there left. Would ye be good enough, -kind gentlemen, to go back and pick some up off -the line, it’s only about a moile and a half -back.”</p> - -<p>The engine, it appeared, could not be reversed, -and, as there was no chance of getting a supply -anywhere else, nothing remained but for his -Majesty and myself to go back with the coal-scuttle -and pick some of the spilt coal up.</p> - -<p>Kis-Smee bounded delightedly at our side; but -we did not take A. Fish, Esq., with us, as he complained -of a pain in his tail, and we feared that -the long walk might make it worse.</p> - -<p>“I shall amuse byself while you are away by<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span> -giving Bike ad elocutiod lessod,” he said, as we -left him.</p> - -<p>But Mike, who was undoing his bundle preparatory -to having some dinner, did not look very -enthusiastic over the project, and I am almost -certain I heard him mutter, “Not if I know it,” -as we were walking away.</p> - -<p>We found the coal, as we expected, beside the -line, after we had walked a little over a mile, and -his Majesty and myself picked it up, and packing -it in the scuttle, took turns in carrying it back to -the train again.</p> - -<p>We had nearly arrived at the spot where the -train was waiting for us, when his Majesty -noticed some curious flowers growing in a little -copse beside the line, and we put down our coal-scuttle -and went to gather them. While we were -doing so, however, we heard a wild shout, and -looking up beheld an enormously tall and thin -man running towards us, gesticulating violently.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span></p> - -<p>He was waving some wire and leather dog -muzzles in one hand.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-142.jpg" width="300" height="469" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE TALL THIN MAN WAS WAVING SOME MUZZLES.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Where’s his muzzle?” he demanded, pointing -to Kis-Smee. “Can’t you see the dog is mad and -must be muzzled immediately?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I’m sure he’s not,” cried the Wallypug, indignantly, -and patting Kis-Smee’s head.</p> - -<p>“He is,” declared the man. “All dogs are -mad, and I insist upon them being muzzled.”</p> - -<p>“Very well,” I interposed. “You had better -try and put a muzzle on this one yourself.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! I’ll soon do that,” cried the man, selecting -a large muzzle from the collection which he -carried with him. “Come here, sir! Good dog, -then.”</p> - -<p>Kis-Smee growled, and grinning more than -ever made a dart at the man, who dropped his -muzzles and fled, screaming, “Mad dog! Mad -dog!” at the top of his voice.</p> - -<p>His Majesty and myself, laughing heartily at -his discomfiture, hurried back to the train without -meeting with any further adventures.</p> - -<p>A. Fish, Esq., and Mike seemed to be rather -cool towards each other, I thought, and I heard -afterwards that they had not got on at all well<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span> -with the “elocution” lesson—in fact, Mike had -absolutely refused to be instructed in that very -necessary art.</p> - -<p>Of course we told them of our adventure with -the man in the wood, and Mike explained that he -was well known as “The Long Man of Muzzledom,” -and was quite harmless, though rather -silly, being under the impression that all dogs and -cats were mad and should be muzzled.</p> - -<p>“Well, he didn’t muzzle Kis-Smee, anyhow,” -said his Majesty, as we took our seats in the -carriage, and the train once more started for -Why.</p> - -<p>After several hours of bumping and jolting, we -were delighted to see the familiar towers and -gables of his Majesty’s palace in the distance, and -knew that we had at last arrived at the end of -our journey.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XII.</h2> - -<p class="pch">BACK AGAIN AT WHY.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Kis-smee</span> was overjoyed to get out of the train, -and eagerly strained at the chain which his -Majesty had affixed to his collar, in his endeavor -to get through the barrier.</p> - -<p>The porter, however, who pretended not to -know us, demanded our tickets.</p> - -<p>“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, smilingly. -“I’m the Wallypug, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Nonsense,” said the porter. “The Wallypug -was ugly enough, goodness knows, but he -hadn’t a <i>blue</i> face like you; besides, Wallypug -or no Wallypug, you don’t get through here without -a ticket, I can tell you.”</p> - -<p>Here was a pretty pickle. We had not thought<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> -in the least about tickets, and in fact had no idea -that any would be required.</p> - -<p>“I certainly shan’t let you pass the barrier -without,” said the porter, in answer to our explanations.</p> - -<p>“But what are we to do?” asked the Wallypug. -“Can’t we pay at this end?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly not. My instructions are to demand -a ticket of every one passing this barrier, -and unless you give me one you cannot go -through.”</p> - -<p>“But I tell you we haven’t any. Can’t you -tell us what to do?”</p> - -<p>“Go back for them, I should say,” said the -porter, yawning unconcernedly. “Now then, -one thing or another. Are you going to give me -the tickets or not?”</p> - -<p>“How can we give them to you if we haven’t -any?” demanded the Wallypug. The porter -slammed the door to impatiently, and went a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span> -little way up the platform, turning around to call -out warningly, “If we find any suspicious-looking -characters hanging about the station premises -we shoot them.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-147.jpg" width="300" height="346" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">THE PORTER DEMANDED OUR TICKETS.</p> -</div> - -<p>“What nonsense!” cried the Wallypug, rattling -and kicking the gate. “We can’t stop here -all day. Let’s call the station-master. Hi! hi! -station-master!” he shouted.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span></p> - -<p>No one answered for a few minutes, but -eventually a door some little distance up the -platform opened, and the old station-master -made his appearance, puffing and blowing, and -followed by the porter, carrying a huge blunderbuss.</p> - -<p>“Now then, what’s all this noise about?” he -demanded.</p> - -<p>“We want to get out, if you please,” said the -Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Where are your tickets,” demanded the station-master.</p> - -<p>“We are very sorry,” I began in explanation.</p> - -<p>“Hold your tongue, and speak when you are -spoken to,” interrupted the station-master.</p> - -<p>“Where are your tickets?”</p> - -<p>“They haven’t any,” explained the porter -officiously. “They are trying to defraud the -company.”</p> - -<p>“H’m, funny-looking lot of people, too,” remarked<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span> -the station-master. “Who are they, do -you know?”</p> - -<p>“That,” said the porter, pointing to his -Majesty, “says he is the Wallypug.”</p> - -<p>“What! <i>that</i> color!” objected the station-master. -“The Wallypug! Indeed, what nonsense!”</p> - -<p>“But, indeed, I am the Wallypug,” declared -his Majesty, “and we turned this color after -we drank the tea, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Turned blue through drinking tea!” said the -station-master incredulously.</p> - -<p>“Ha! ha! a <i>likely</i> story,” laughed the porter -derisively.</p> - -<p>“Perhaps it will wear off in time,” said the -Wallypug, “like being sunburnt does.”</p> - -<p>“Very well then, you had better stop here till -it does,” said the station-master. “Look here!” -he cried, turning to the porter, “you stop here at -the barrier, and don’t let them through until they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span> -have turned a respectable color, and you can recognize -them.”</p> - -<p>“But it may take weeks,” began his Majesty.</p> - -<p>“Hold your tongue!” said the station-master -sharply. “If you have any nonsense with them, -shoot them,” he added to the porter, depositing -the blunderbuss beside the barrier, and going -back to the other end of the platform.</p> - -<p>Whatever we should have done I cannot think, -if just at that moment the porter’s wife had not -put her head out of the signal-box and called to -him to “come in at once and mind the baby,” -while she “did a little shopping.”</p> - -<p>“But he’s on duty, ma’am,” expostulated the -station-master.</p> - -<p>“I don’t care anything about <i>that;</i> you come -in at once, Bill,” shouted the woman, and the -porter meekly left the barrier and disappeared -within the signal-box.</p> - -<p>Of course we all rushed through the gate at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span> -once, and the station-master catching sight of -Kis-Smee, who had meanwhile slipped his chain, -fled up the platform in dismay.</p> - -<p>Kis-Smee, evidently thinking him fair game, -started off in pursuit, and it was not till the station-master -had bolted into his office and locked -the door that we could get him to come back to -our call.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-151.jpg" width="400" height="255" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">FLED UP THE PLATFORM IN DISMAY.</p> -</div> - -<p>So soon as we got into the street we met the -Turtle and the Pelican, walking arm-in-arm, and -each smoking a cigarette.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Hullo, Wallypug!” exclaimed the Pelican. -“Why, we thought you were at Wei-hai-wei.”</p> - -<p>“Wer-har-wei, you mean,” laughed his Majesty.</p> - -<p>“It’s all the same,” announced the Pelican. -“Well, how have you been getting on?”</p> - -<p>His Majesty explained as briefly as possible the -adventures we had passed through, and then inquired -how affairs were progressing at Why.</p> - -<p>“Oh, not very well, I’m afraid,” said the Pelican. -“You see, there has been no one to take -the lead since you’ve been away. We tried a -Republican form of government, and elected Oom-Hi -as president, but he became so extravagant—wanted -a new top-hat every day, and insisted on -a gilded coach to ride in; and at last we caught -him tampering with the public funds, so we had -to dismiss him. Have you heard about Broncho?”</p> - -<p>“No,” said his Majesty.</p> - -<p>“Well, it didn’t answer as a cough mixture, so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span> -Oom-Hi turned it into a patent meat extract, and -called it Vimbril, and it killed ever so many -people.”</p> - -<p>“Indeed!” exclaimed the Wallypug, anxiously. -“Any one I know?”</p> - -<p>“Madame and a few other folk,” was the reply; -“and the Doctor-in-Law is not expected to recover.”</p> - -<p>“Good gracious! Why, we thought them at -the other end of the world. However did they -get back to Why again?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, they sent us a cablegram when they got -to China, and we let down an enormously long -rope and pulled them up the shute again, you -know. But it was a very long journey, and they -had nothing to eat on the way. So as soon as we -hauled them up we gave them each a large dose -of Vimbril. Madame expired at once,” he added, -with a sob.</p> - -<p>The tears were streaming down the Turtle’s<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span> -nose as he sympathetically joined in the Pelican’s -weeping.</p> - -<p>“What about the Doctor-in-Law?” inquired -his Majesty, solicitously.</p> - -<p>“Oh, he has a very strong constitution, you -know, and he may pull through. We’ve got him -back at the palace in his old quarters.”</p> - -<p>“Poor fellow! Poor fellow!” said the Wallypug, -sympathetically. “Let’s go and see what -we can do for him.”</p> - -<p>I thought this very kind of his Majesty, considering -all he had suffered through the Doctor-in-Law’s -ingratitude; but the good-hearted little -fellow was full of sympathy, and hurried towards -the palace with all speed.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XIII.</h2> - -<p class="pch">A NEW STATE OF AFFAIRS.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">“Oh</span> my! Good gracious me!” exclaimed a -voice as we approached the entrance to the palace -and looking up we beheld the Cockatoo perched -on a window-sill. “Just look at these creatures. -<i>What</i> a color. Why, why,” she exclaimed, -peering at us closely, “I’m bothered if it isn’t the -Wallypug and the Hatless Man, and the great -Mr. A. Fish, Esq. Where have you been? What -did you come back for? What do you want?” -she screamed.</p> - -<p>“It’s dud of your busidess,” replied A. Fish, -Esq., shortly.</p> - -<p>“Oh! isn’t it,” said the Cockatoo furiously. -“I’ll soon show you whether it’s none of my business<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span> -or not. To begin with, the Wallypug and -the headless traitor”—</p> - -<p>“Do you mean me?” I interrupted, “because -I am not headless yet, you know.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-156.jpg" width="300" height="353" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“WHAT A COLOR!” EXCLAIMED THE COCKATOO.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Headless, or hatless, it’s all the same,” said -the Cockatoo, “you might as well run about without -your head for all the good it is to you,” she -added insolently. “Well you two are escaped<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span> -prisoners,” she ran on, “and I shall see that you -are locked up again, so there.”</p> - -<p>“But it was all a mistake,” said His Majesty -mildly.</p> - -<p>“What was?” yelled the bird.</p> - -<p>“What I said about a ’horse a horse, my -kingdom for a horse!’ you know,” said the -Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Why don’t you say what you mean then?” -cried the Cockatoo. “Well, I shall have you -locked up anyhow. Here, Crocodile,” she shouted, -“just come and arrest these creatures will you?”</p> - -<p>“Shan’t!” replied a voice from within; “who -are you ordering about. If you want them arrested, -do it yourself. I’m not going to do as -<i>you</i> tell me, so there! besides, all the prisoners -have been set free that Madame sentenced, you -know that well enough?”</p> - -<p>“Yah! Down with him, down with Crocodiles; -down with pale-blue Wallypugs and hatless<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span> -men; down with fishes of all sorts. Down with -everybody and everything; down with——.”</p> - -<p>We did not stop to hear any more of her ravings, -but passed through and up into the Doctor-in-Law’s -old rooms.</p> - -<p>We found him looking very weak and ill, but -he recognized us all, and held out his hand to the -Wallypug, who told him encouragingly that he -would soon be well again.</p> - -<p>“Yes, ad thed I’ll teach you elocutiod for -dothig,” promised A. Fish, Esq.</p> - -<p>The Doctor-in-Law smiled faintly, and whispered -that what was keeping him back most was -the thought of the heavy doctor’s bill which he -would have to pay when he got better.</p> - -<p>The good-natured little Wallypug made him -very happy by promising to pay this amount -for him, and we left the little man looking very -much brighter than when we entered.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-158.jpg" width="400" height="389" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">We found the Doctor-in-Law looking very weak and ill, but -he recognized us all and held out his hand to the Wallypug.— -<a href="#Page_158">Page 158</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span></p> - -<p>The rest of the morning was spent in his -Majesty’s private apartments, discussing all sorts -of plans for the future, for, as the Wallypug very -properly remarked, now that the Mother-in-Law -had gone he should have a freer hand in the administration -of affairs.</p> - -<p>A. Fish, Esq., busied himself in preparing an -elaborate lecture, which he said he would deliver -in public on the morrow, on the “Unreasonableness -of Misunderstandability,” and which would, -he hoped, clearly explain away the mistake which -had been made, in accusing his Majesty of treason, -in connection with his unfortunate recitation of -“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!”</p> - -<p>While we were thus busily engaged there came -an impatient tap-tap-tapping at the door, and on -opening it we beheld the Crow looking more disreputably -untidy than ever. He carried a large -bundle of papers and a quill pen. “Ahem!” he -began importantly, “I call on behalf of the <i>Daily -Whyer</i> a new paper which I have just established,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span> -and which I am happy to say has already an -enormous circulation in Why. It is very cheap -(four copies for a penny), and contains an enormous -amount of totally unreliable information; -besides which there is a page devoted to domestic -matters, highly interesting to ladies, and includes -receipts for artistically furnishing your house with -old tea chests and soap boxes, painted with enamel -and draped with art muslin; there are also several -poems weekly on the subject of ‘Baby’s Little -Socks,’ which are immensely popular with some -people, here is one of them,” he cried, turning to -the back page of his paper, a copy of which he had -with him.</p> - -<p class="pp7q p1">“Oh! the baby’s little socks,<br /> -Darling baby’s little socks;</p> -<p class="pp6">When the kettle’s softly steaming,<br /> -When the firelight’s glow is gleaming,<br /> -And I’m sitting idly dreaming,</p> -<p class="pp7">Whisper gently, ‘baby’s socks.’</p> - -<p class="pp7q p1">“Oh the darling little socks;<br /> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>Baby’s <i>baby’s</i> little socks;</p> -<p class="pp6">Toys that baby fingers scatter,<br /> -Little feet that pitter-patter,<br /> -Tittle tongues—but there—no matter,</p> -<p class="pp7">Let’s get back to baby’s socks.”</p> - -<p class="p1">“There,” he concluded triumphantly, “what -do you think of that?”</p> - -<p>“Well, I don’t wish to be rude,” I remarked, -“but I certainly think it’s the greatest rubbish -I’ve ever heard in all my life.”</p> - -<p>“Rubbish!” he exclaimed, “Why all the -ladies who read the <i>Daily Whyer</i> think it -<i>beautiful</i>. I have to get the same gentleman to -write verses like that nearly every day.”</p> - -<p>“Do you mean to tell me,” I replied, “that a -man writes such twaddle as that.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! you’re jealous, that’s what’s the matter -with you. A man write them? of course he -does.”</p> - -<p>“And do you pay him for these precious contributions,” -I exclaimed in surprise.</p> - -<p>“I <i>promise</i> to pay him ever so much a year,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>” -said the Crow, “but—er—ahem—I have a very -bad memory. I have several contributors whom -I pay on the same system, it’s a very <i>cheap</i> way,” -he sniffled. “I’ve copied it from a contemporary.”</p> - -<p>“Well, we’re very busy just dow,” said A. -Fish, Esq., “would you bind telling us your -busidess ad goig, because we wandt to ged to -work agaid.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! to tell you the truth,” said the Crow, -“I wanted to know if the Wallypug would let -me print an interview with him in to-morrow’s -paper. You have just returned from Wer-har-wei, -I believe, haven’t you; I was sitting on the -signal post at the station just now and saw you -arrive. I think my readers would be very interested -in hearing your impressions of the country.”</p> - -<p>I took his Majesty aside and pointed out to him -that very possibly an interview with him appearing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span> -in the paper would have a good effect on his -people, and he could use it as a means of advertising -the reforms he intended making in the government -of the land; and his Majesty agreeing -with me on the point, he seated himself comfortably -in his own particular chair, and the Crow, -perching on the back of another, the interview -began.</p> - -<p>“Let’s see,” said the Crow, making a great -spluttering with his pen, which was cross-nibbed -and broken. “When were you born?”</p> - -<p>“Well, really,” said his Majesty, “I, er—was -so young at the time that I scarcely remember.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, well, I’ll put it down as <span class="smcap">Y. D.</span> 987; that -will do as well as any other date.”</p> - -<p>“Why <span class="smcap">Y. D.</span>?” I inquired, curiously.</p> - -<p>“Year of disgrace,” was the prompt reply. -“Bless me! this must be a Post Office pen,” he -went on, as the pen scattered the ink about in all -directions. “They are always bad, you know.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>” -Then, having asked the Wallypug no end of -questions, not only about our journey, but on all -sorts of private matters also, the wretched-looking -bird gathered up his papers, which were covered -with unintelligible blots and scratches and -scattered in all parts of the room, and, tucking -them under his wing, departed, to have the matter -set up in print.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-164.jpg" width="300" height="322" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“THIS MUST BE A POST OFFICE PEN,” SAID THE CROW.</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XIV.</h2> - -<p class="pch">“GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Crow had scarcely left the room when -there was another knock, and without waiting for -a reply the Cockatoo burst into the room in a fine -fluster. She was followed by the Kangaroo and -Oom Hi.</p> - -<p>“Look at them! <i>Look at them!</i>” she blurted -out, “did you ever see such objects in all your -life. What a color!”</p> - -<p>“Hm! Eggshell blue,” said the Kangaroo, -examining the Wallypug critically. “Very -extraordinary tint. Never seen a face that shade -before.”</p> - -<p>“The other one is worse,” declared the Cockatoo, -pointing at me derisively. “I always knew<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span> -he was something disreputable. I believe,” she -added, sinking her voice into a hoarse whisper, -“I believe he has let himself out as an advertisement -for Stephen’s Blue-black Ink, or Ricket’s -Paris Blue. What depravity. Down with -him! Duck him in the pond! Scrub him -with sandpaper! Boil him!” and so she went -on.</p> - -<p>“What’s all this bother about?” I exclaimed. -“Don’t you see that his Majesty is engaged. If -you don’t immediately go about your business I -will have you put out of the room.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! will you indeed,” exclaimed the Cockatoo -excitedly, “I should like to see you attempt it. -It strikes me that <i>you</i> are the one that will be put -out. We can stand a good deal down here, but a -hatless object with a <i>blue</i> face. Ough!”</p> - -<p>“Here, come and do your duty,” she shouted, -going to the door, and the two Crocodiles entered -and caught hold of me roughly by the collar. -“Bring them out into the courtyard,” shouted -the infuriated bird, and before I could protest I -was bundled unceremoniously out of the house by -the Crocodiles, the Kangaroo and Oom Hi following -with the Wallypug.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-166.jpg" width="400" height="494" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">“Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. “You’re putting -it all in my eyes. Oh, ach! do-o-n’t! Stop! I say, <i>do</i> leave -off.”— -<a href="#Page_167">Page 167</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Now then,” said the Cockatoo, stopping before -a large tub of water which stood on the -ground, “see what soap and water will do.”</p> - -<p>The Kangaroo rummaged about and discovered -a small hard piece of yellow soap, and Oom Hi -brought forth a good sized sponge, and together -they gave the poor little Wallypug such a scrubbing -as I should think he had never had before in -all his life.</p> - -<p>“Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. -“You’re putting it all in my eyes. Oh, ach! -do-o-on’t! Stop! I say, <i>do</i> leave off. Ough!”</p> - -<p>The poor little fellow was nearly choked.</p> - -<p>Oom Hi sponged the soap away and the Cockatoo -stared critically at the poor Wallypug, who<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span> -stood there with the water streaming from his face -and the tips of his fingers.</p> - -<p>“Hasn’t done the slightest good,” she declared; -“better scrape him with a putty knife, I think.”</p> - -<p>“Stop a minute!” said the Kangaroo, “I have -it,” and he went up and whispered something in -Oom Hi’s ear.</p> - -<p>“Capital! capital! go and fetch a bottle,” -cried Oom Hi, and the Kangaroo rushed off, returning -a minute later with a large bottle marked -Vimbril.</p> - -<p>“Oh! don’t! don’t!” cried the poor Wallypug. -“I’m not going to take any of that stuff. It -killed the lady who called herself my Sister-in-Law -you know, and it made the Doctor-in-Law ill. -Take it away.”</p> - -<p>“Of course you are not going to take any, -Wallypug,” said Oom Hi soothingly, “but there -will be no harm in trying the effect upon your -complexion. It <i>might</i> make you the proper color<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span> -again you know, and in that case I could alter the -name and call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ and advertise -it well; no doubt it would be a great success. -Put some on the sponge,” he continued, holding -it out to the Kangaroo, who poured out some -of the nasty looking stuff.</p> - -<p>“No! no! don’t. Ough!” shuddered his Majesty, -but despite his protests his face was well -rubbed with the fluid.</p> - -<p>“Worse than ever, he’s light brown now,” said -the Cockatoo.</p> - -<p>“Oh! wipe it off! wipe it off,” implored the -Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“No!” said Oom Hi, who seemed very greatly -disappointed at the non-success of his experiment, -“let it dry on.”</p> - -<p>“We had better put him in the stocks,” he -declared, “to prevent him from rubbing it off.” -So the poor little Wallypug was led off to the -stocks and securely fastened in, with his hands<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> -spread out to dry, and with strict injunctions not -to move till he was told.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-170.jpg" width="300" height="339" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">HIS MAJESTY IN THE STOCKS.</p> -</div> - -<p>The last view that I had of his Majesty was of -the poor little fellow, utterly worn out with his -exertions, meekly sitting in the stocks and falling -into an uneasy slumber, from which, however, he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> -was frequently awakened by the bees and flies, -which, attracted by the sticky stuff on his face -and hands, flocked around him as though he were -a pot of jam.</p> - -<p>“We might keep <i>this</i> as a curiosity,” said the -Cockatoo, turning her attention to me next. -“Put in a cage with a large label, ‘Blue-faced -and hatless man, Dangerous!’ he ought to be an -attraction to our menagerie. I think that’s what -we’ll do with him,” and despite my struggles and -protests I was ignominiously marched off by the -Crocodiles, who continued to make rude and personal -remarks about my appearance all the way -to the dungeon, where it appeared I was to -spend my time till a cage could be prepared for -me.</p> - -<p>Of course I was terribly indignant at my treatment, -but was absolutely powerless to prevent it -And the only thing that I could do when the -Crocodiles had left me alone, after a few parting<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span> -jeers, was to consider the best way of effecting -my escape.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-172.jpg" width="300" height="315" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">MADE RUDE AND PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT MY APPEARANCE.</p> -</div> - -<p>I was pondering seriously upon this question, -when suddenly I remembered the Gombobble -with which the little blue people had presented -me when I left Wer-har-wei. Taking it from -my pocket I idly wondered if it were good to eat<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span> -or not. It felt soft and looked something like a -huge blue orange or a melon; getting out my -penknife I plunged it in and cut the fruit open. -Inside was a white juicy pulp which looked very -tempting, so trusting to its being good to eat I -took a bite.</p> - -<p>It was delicious!</p> - -<p>I took another bite, and then, happening to -look at my hands, I discovered to my great -delight that they were regaining their proper -color.</p> - -<p>“Come, this is better,” I cried, tackling a -third piece; and then suddenly remembering the -poor Wallypug, I carefully cut the Gombobble in -half and put part of it aside for his Majesty, and -was just about to eat another little piece myself, -when, happening to look up, I caught sight -of Mr. Nobody from Nowhere, squeezing through -the bars of my dungeon window.</p> - -<p>He was as smiling and happy as ever, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span> -made me an elaborate bow with an elegant -flourish, and then looked so very knowing that -I felt sure that he had something important to -communicate.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XV.</h2> - -<p class="pch">“WALLYPUG’S BLUSH LIMITED.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">“How</span> do you do?” I began.</p> - -<p>The little fellow bowed and smiled and brought -forth a scrap of paper and a pencil.</p> - -<p>On the paper he wrote, “Quite well thanks, -how are you?” and added the words, “Can I be -of any service to you?”</p> - -<p>I pondered a moment, and then recollected -that he would be a capital medium of communication -between the Wallypug and myself.</p> - -<p>“Do you know where the stocks are?” I -inquired.</p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody nodded vigorously.</p> - -<p>“His Majesty the Wallypug is there,” I ventured.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span></p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody nodded again very energetically, -and I could see that he knew all about it. Moreover -he wrote on his paper, “Poor Wallypug!” -and looked most sympathetic.</p> - -<p>“Would you like to help him?” I inquired.</p> - -<p>The little man nodded again, and seemed quite -delighted at the prospect.</p> - -<p>Handing him the half of the Gombobble which -I had reserved for his Majesty, I said, “Take -this to the Wallypug immediately and, <i>if he is -quite alone</i>, tell him to eat it all, and on no -account to tell any one how he became possessed -of it.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody nodded to show that he understood, -and, taking the piece of Gombobble, he -squeezed through the bars of my cell, and was -soon running off in the direction of the stocks.</p> - -<p>I awaited his return with some anxiety, and -was delighted to see when he did come back, that -his face was beaming with delight.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-177.jpg" width="300" height="501" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">MR. NOBODY NODDED.</p> -</div> - -<p>“His Majesty has regained his complexion, and -is very grateful to you,” he wrote hurriedly, -clapping his hands and capering about.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Now go and tell Oom Hi and the Kangaroo, -and if they come to the conclusion that his -Majesty’s complexion has been restored through -using the stuff they call ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ -don’t say anything to the contrary; it will put -them into a good temper and perhaps make them -kinder to his Majesty.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Nobody seemed quite to understand and -hurried off again. He did not come back, but -about half an hour afterwards there was a noise -at the door of my cell, and after a great deal of -fumbling at the lock, Oom Hi and the Kangaroo -entered.</p> - -<p>Oom Hi carried a basin and the Kangaroo a -bottle of Vimbril, or Wallypug’s Blush, as it was -now called.</p> - -<p>They looked very amiable, and after some -kind remarks about the weather Oom Hi cleared -his throat and said in a sort of apologetic -voice:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-179.jpg" width="400" height="414" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">OOM HI CARRIED A BASIN, AND THE KANGAROO A BOTTLE OF VIMBRIL.</p> -</div> - -<p>“Er, we didn’t mean to be <i>too</i> severe, you -know, and what we have done has been all for -the best. You will be pleased to hear that my -invaluable preparation, ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ has -proved perfectly satisfactory, and his Majesty the -Wallypug is a living testimony to its worth. His -beautiful complexion has entirely returned, and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span> -have no doubt if we could persuade you to use -it too it would be equally successful in your -case. You will try it, won’t you?” he pleaded -earnestly.</p> - -<p>“Of course if my complexion, such as it is, is -restored, I shall be released from here?” I hazarded.</p> - -<p>“Oh! certainly,” said both animals at once, -and so after surreptitiously devouring the remainder -of the Gombobble, I permitted the -creatures to smear my face over with their -precious rubbish on the distinct understanding -that I should be allowed to have a good wash -afterwards.</p> - -<p>The Gombobble acted perfectly, and the animals -were delighted when they saw the result, as they -of course put it down to the effect of their “Wallypug’s -Blush.”</p> - -<p>“Go and fetch the Cockatoo,” said Oom Hi, -“she shall judge for herself.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span></p> - -<p>So the Kangaroo went off to fetch her.</p> - -<p>“Wonderful preparation, isn’t it?” said Oom -Hi, gazing affectionately at his bottle of “Wallypug’s -Blush.”</p> - -<p>“Very!” I remarked.</p> - -<p>“I <i>knew</i> it must be good for something or another,” -he went on, “but of course we could not -tell exactly what till we had tried. It <i>very nearly</i> -cured a cold once, you know, when I called it -Broncho, though I am bound to admit that it was -not exactly a success as Vimbril. Do you think -‘Wallypug’s Blush’ a good title,” he asked anxiously.</p> - -<p>“It’s a very striking one,” I admitted.</p> - -<p>“I shall advertise it well in the <i>Daily Whyer</i>, -you know, and—Oh! here comes the Cockatoo,” -he added, as that bird came bustling into the -cell.</p> - -<p>“Now then, what’s this I hear?” she began, -giving me a keen glance; “‘Wallypug’s Blush<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>’ -restored your complexion. Why so it has, though -I cannot say much for it even now. However, -since you have no longer a blue face you are -scarcely likely to be valuable as a curiosity, so -you had better get about your business,” and, -flinging open the door, the Cockatoo motioned -me out with her crutched stick.</p> - -<p>You may be sure I was not long in availing -myself of my liberty and hurrying to the spot -where I had last seen his Majesty.</p> - -<p>The stocks were empty, but a little further off -I found A. Fish, Esq., who seemed delighted to -see me.</p> - -<p>“Well I dever!” he exclaimed; “I heard you -were going to be exhibited as a freak. What -stories people do tell, to be sure.”</p> - -<p>I briefly explained what had happened and -inquired if he knew where the Wallypug -was.</p> - -<p>“Oh yes, he’s gode back to the Palace,” said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> -A. Fish, Esq. “He’s id a rare way aboudt -you.”</p> - -<p>So I thought it best, in order to relieve his -Majesty’s anxiety, to seek him there.</p> - -<p>It was now getting dusk, and seeing a light -in his Majesty’s private apartments, I went up -and knocked at the door.</p> - -<p>“Come in!” cried a voice which I had no difficulty -in recognizing, and on opening the door I -found the good little man pacing to and fro in a -state of great agitation.</p> - -<p>“Oh! it’s you,” he exclaimed in a relieved -voice, and came forward to welcome me eagerly. -“I was just wondering how on earth I could -get you out of the Cockatoo’s clutches; she’s a -wretched creature, isn’t she?”</p> - -<p>“Well she is a trial, certainly,” I agreed, “and -I think if I were you I should adopt some very -strong measures for preventing her from interfering -as she does.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Hm! yes,” said his Majesty, “let’s go and -hear what the Doctor-in-Law has to say about it; -he may be able to advise us as to the best way of -putting her down, and though he will probably -charge pretty stiffly for it, his advice <i>is</i> worth -having sometimes.”</p> - -<p>So we went together to the Doctor-in-Law’s -room.</p> - -<p>We were surprised to hear several voices talking -excitedly within, and when in reply to a rather -impatient “Come in!” we opened the door, we -were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his -dressing-gown and slippers, in busy consultation -with Oom Hi, the Kangaroo, and the Cockatoo.</p> - -<p>“I’ve been greatly interested in hearing of the -success of ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’” said the little -man, “and am just helping Oom Hi (ahem, for a -consideration) to draw up a prospectus for turning -it into a Limited Company. In consideration of -the payment to me of several thousands of pounds, -I am about to become a director, and am to be -paid several thousands more for persuading the -Cockatoo to join the board too.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-184.jpg" width="400" height="404" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">We were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his dressing-gown -and slippers, in busy consultation with Oom-Hi, the -Kangaroo, and the Cockatoo.— -<a href="#Page_184">Page 184</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span></p> - -<p>“But,” I objected, “what do you claim that -‘Wallypug’s Blush’ does?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, it restores people with blue complexions -to their natural color, you know.”</p> - -<p>“But surely there will be a very limited sale,” -I said; “there cannot be very many people with -blue faces, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, <i>of course</i>, you must try and spoil everything -with your absurd objections,” said the -Cockatoo crossly.</p> - -<p>“Yes, I really don’t see that your contention -has much weight,” said the Doctor-in-Law. -“Provided it is only advertised enough, the -public will buy <i>any</i> rubbish, whether it does what -it professes to do or not. And we shall simply -call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush <i>for the complexion</i>,’ -you know; besides, even if it doesn’t answer, we<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> -can turn it into something else, Boot Polish or -Hair Wash, you know.”</p> - -<p>And so seeing them so busily and enthusiastically -engaged in the business of drawing up the -prospectus, we said good-night and retired to our -rooms.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XVI.</h2> - -<p class="pch">“AU REVOIR.”</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next morning all was excitement at the -palace. The news of our return had spread abroad, -and in the morning copy of the <i>Daily Whyer</i>, -which his Majesty found on the breakfast-table -when we went down, a full and, I must say, surprisingly -accurate account of the interview appeared, -together with the information that his -Majesty would attend Parliament in state in the -afternoon, and that an address from the throne -would be read, in which certain changes in the -Government would be suggested. There was -also a paragraph about A. Fish, Esquire’s, lecture -upon the “Unreasonableness of ability,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span>” -which the editor advised everybody to -try and hear.</p> - -<p>His Majesty was in quite a fluster, and we spent -several hours in preparing an elaborate written -speech which he was to read out in the afternoon; -and then, having settled this and other matters -to our satisfaction, we took Kis-Smee out for a -little walk just before luncheon.</p> - -<p>One of the first persons we met was the Crocodile -at the Lodge. He looked once or twice at -his Majesty, as if in doubt, and then at Kis-Smee.</p> - -<p>On seeing the latter his eyes sparkled, and he -came up and spoke at once.</p> - -<p>“Hullo, Wallypug!” he began unceremoniously.</p> - -<p>His Majesty bowed, a little distantly I thought.</p> - -<p>“<i>What</i> a fine fat dog!” exclaimed the Crocodile, -pointing to Kis-Smee. “Is he for sale?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly not,” said the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>The Crocodile sighed. “Just my luck,” he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span> -remarked, “I love dogs and I should so enjoy -taking this one home to tea with me. Perhaps -you will let him visit me sometimes. What’s his -name?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-189.jpg" width="300" height="311" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">“OH! REALLY, WALLYPUG, THIS IS SO SUDDEN.”</p> -</div> - -<p>“Kis-Smee,” said his Majesty.</p> - -<p>“Oh! really Wallypug, this is so sudden,” said -the Crocodile, smirking, “I’d no idea you were -so affectionate. I’m so bashful, too. I couldn’t -really think of kissing you in public.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span></p> - -<p>“No, no!” explained his Majesty hastily—“Kis-Smee -is the dog’s name; you asked me what -his name was, you know.”</p> - -<p>“Oh!” said the Crocodile, looking greatly disappointed. -“I misunderstood you. Very sorry, -I’m sure. Well, what are you going to do now?”</p> - -<p>His Majesty told him of the meeting in the -afternoon, and the Crocodile promised to come.</p> - -<p>“That is,” he added, “if I may bring my invalid -with me.”</p> - -<p>“Who is that?” asked the Wallypug.</p> - -<p>“Oh! a very feeble old joke I’ve got staying -with me,” said the Crocodile. “I could bring -him in the perambulator, you know—the one I -used to wheel the weak cup of tea about in—he’s -such a nice old man.”</p> - -<p>“What is he, did you say?” asked his Majesty.</p> - -<p>“An old joke,” repeated the Crocodile, “his -name is Joe Miller, and he eats nothing but chestnuts, -and even they have to be very ancient before<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span> -he can digest them. Oh! he’s a character, I -can tell you. Make you die of laughing the <i>first</i> -time you meet him; but as he always says the -same thing over and over again—for hours and -hours, he is rather trying at times. However, I -will bring him along, and you can judge for yourself.”</p> - -<p>We left the Crocodile then and went back to -luncheon—after which we set out for the House -of Words.</p> - -<p>We found that quite a lot of Creatures were -waiting in the lobby for the doors to open.</p> - -<p>There was the Doctor-in-Law, telling a funny -story to the Pig, for which he afterwards made a -charge of one pound nineteen and elevenpence, -describing it as <i>Professional Attendance</i>—and -wording the bill as follows:</p> - -<table id="td1" summary="td1"> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">To One pig, one guinea (guinea-pig),</td> - <td class="tdr1">£1</td> - <td class="tdr1">1</td> - <td class="tdr1">0</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">“Laugh and grow fat,” one joke,</td> - <td class="tdr1">0</td> - <td class="tdr1">6</td> - <td class="tdr1">8</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td rowspan="2"> </td> - <td colspan="3" class="tdr1">————</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdr1">£1</td> - <td class="tdr1">19</td> - <td class="tdr1">11</td> - </tr> - -</table> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span></p> - -<p class="p1">And to the Mole, who happened to overhear the -joke, he made another charge; but the Mole got -out of paying for it on the plea that he <i>couldn’t -see it</i>; but whether he meant the bill or the joke -I could never find out, Moles are notoriously -blind.</p> - -<p>Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. -Fish, Esq., listened, open-mouthed, while they discussed -the state of affairs.</p> - -<p>The Cockatoo, irrepressible as ever, held forth -on the subject of Socialism to an interested audience, -consisting of the Crocodile and the Rabbit. -While the Crow filled in a few spare moments by -interviewing the Pelican. The Creatures stood -aside very politely to allow his Majesty and myself -to enter, Kis-Smee growling ominously at the -Cockatoo, who screamed, “Down with domestic -animals,” as he passed. This remark of hers gave -offense to the Pig also, who demanded to know if -she was referring to him.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-193.jpg" width="400" height="475" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pf400">Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, Esq., -listened, open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of affairs.— -<a href="#Page_192">Page 192</a>.</p> -<p class="pr2 reduct"><i>Wallypugland.</i></p> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Of course not,” replied the Cockatoo; “you’re -not a domestic animal, are you?”</p> - -<p>“Sure an I am that same in me own counthry,” -said the Pig, who was evidently of Irish descent.</p> - -<p>“Och down with the dirthy landlords thin,” -screamed the Cockatoo, which caused the Pig to -laugh and put him in a good temper again.</p> - -<p>“I couldn’t bring the old joke along after all,” -whispered the Crocodile to me, as we squeezed -through the door; “he is more feeble than ever.” -“How’s Kis-Smee?”</p> - -<p>“Quite well, I think, thank you,” I replied.</p> - -<p>“Isn’t he delightfully fat,” whispered the Crocodile, -smacking his lips. “About three nice -large mouthfuls, I should say,” he concluded -mysteriously, winking one eye at me.</p> - -<p>I haven’t the remotest idea what he meant, and -besides I hadn’t time to think about it then, for -the meeting was about to commence.</p> - -<p>We all found seats, and A. Fish, Esq., being<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span> -called upon to open the proceedings, he commenced -his learned treatise upon the “Unreasonableness -of Misunderstandability.”</p> - -<p>What it was all about I haven’t the remotest -idea, for what with his extraordinary way of talking, -and the continual interruptions of the animals, -who would keep shouting, “Hear! hear!” -“Question!” “Withdraw!” “Order! order!” -etc., at all kinds of odd moments, I could not hear -a word that was being said. Moreover, the hall -was unaccountably hot and stuffy, and for some -time I had the greatest difficulty in keeping -awake; and at last my head sank down and I -dozed off, awaking at intervals when the Cockatoo -was unusually energetic; but at last even her -voice was silenced, and I remember no more till I -awoke with a start, and found myself, to my -great dismay, back again in my own study in -London.</p> - -<p>I have addressed several letters to “His Majesty<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span> -the Wallypug, The Royal Palace, Why,” as -I am very anxious to know how affairs are going -on there; but I am sorry to say they have always -been returned through the post, marked in blue -pencil, “<i>Not known. Insufficient address.</i>”</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/ill-195.jpg" width="350" height="302" - alt="" - title="" /> - <p class="pc reduct">RETURNED THROUGH THE POST.</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span></p> -<p> </p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">THE BLUE DWARFS:</h2> - -<p class="pch">AN ADVENTURE IN THURINGEN.</p> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“And then on the top of the Caldon Low<br /> -There was no one left but me.”</p> -<p class="pr8 reduct"><span class="smcap">Mary Howitt.</span></p> - -<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">“I liked</span> the blue dwarfs the best—far, far the -best of anything,” said Olive.</p> - -<p>“‘The blue dwarfs!’” repeated Rex. “What -<i>do</i> you mean? Why can’t you say what you -mean plainly? Girls have such a stupid way of -talking!”</p> - -<p>“What can be plainer than <i>the blue dwarfs</i>?” -said Olive rather snappishly, though, it must be -allowed, with some reason. “We were talking -about the things we liked best at the china place.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span> -<i>You</i> said the stags’ heads and the inkstands, and -<i>I</i> say the blue dwarfs.”</p> - -<p>“But I didn’t see any dwarfs,” persisted Rex.</p> - -<p>“Well, I can’t help it if you didn’t. You had -just as much chance of seeing them as I had. -They were in a corner by themselves—little figures -about two inches high, all with blue coats on. -There were about twelve of them, all different, -but all little dwarfs or gnomes. One was sitting -on a barrel, one was turning head-over-heels, one -was cuddling his knees—all funny ways like that. -Oh, they were lovely!”</p> - -<p>“I wish I had seen them better,” said Rex regretfully. -“I do remember seeing a tray full of -little blue-looking dolls, but I didn’t notice what -they were.”</p> - -<p>Olive did not at once answer. Her eyes were -fixed on something she saw passing before the -window. It was a very, very little man. He -was not exactly humpbacked, but his figure was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span> -somewhat deformed, and he was so small that -but for the sight of his rather wizened old face -one could hardly have believed he was a full-grown -man. His eyes were bright and beady-looking, -like those of a good-natured little weasel, -if there be such a thing, and his face lighted up -with a smile as he caught sight of the two, to -him, strange-looking children at the open window -of the little village inn.</p> - -<p>“Guten Tag,” he said, nodding to them; and -“Guten Tag,” replied the children, as they had -learnt to do by this time to everybody they met. -For in these remote villages it would be thought -the greatest breach of courtesy to pass any one -without this friendly greeting.</p> - -<p>Rex drew a long breath when the dwarf had -passed.</p> - -<p>“Olive——” he began, but Olive interrupted -him.</p> - -<p>“Rex,” she said eagerly, “that’s <i>exactly</i> like<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> -them—like the blue dwarfs, I mean. Only, of -course, their faces were prettier—nice little china -faces, rather crumply looking, but quite nice; -and then their coats were such a pretty nice blue. -I think,” she went on consideringly—“I think -if I had that little man and washed his face <i>very</i> -well, and got him a bright blue coat, he would -look just like one of the blue dwarfs grown -big.”</p> - -<p>Rex looked at Olive with a queer expression.</p> - -<p>“Olive,” he said in rather an awe-struck tone; -“Olive, do you think perhaps they’re <i>real</i>? Do -you think perhaps somewhere in this country—in -those queer dark woods, perhaps—that there -are real blue dwarfs, and that somebody must -have seen them and made the little china ones -like them? Perhaps,” and his voice dropped -and grew still more solemn; “<i>perhaps</i>, Olive, -that little man’s one of them, and they may have -to take off their blue coats when they’re walking<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> -about. Do you know, I think it’s a little, just a -very little frightening? Don’t you, Olive?”</p> - -<p>“No, of course I don’t,” said Olive, and, to do -her justice, her rather sharp answer was meant -as much to reassure her little brother as to express -any feeling of impatience. Rex was quite -a little fellow, only eight, and Olive, who was -nearly twelve, remembered that when she was -as little as that, she used sometimes to feel frightened -about things which she now couldn’t see -anything the least frightening in. And she remembered -how once or twice some of her big -cousins had laughed at her, and amused themselves -by telling her all sorts of nonsense, which -still seemed terrible to her when she was alone -in her room in the dark at night. “Of course -there’s nothing frightening in it,” she said. “It -would be rather a funny idea, I think. Of course -it can’t be, you know, Rex. There are no dwarfs, -and gnomes, and fairies now.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span></p> - -<p>“But that little man was a dwarf,” said Rex.</p> - -<p>“Yes, but a dwarf needn’t be a fairy sort of -person,” explained Olive. “He’s just a common -little man, only he’s never grown as big as -other people. Perhaps he had a bad fall when -he was a baby—that might stop his growing.”</p> - -<p>“Would it?” said Rex. “I didn’t know that. -I hope I hadn’t a bad fall when I was a baby. -Everybody says I’m very small for my age.” -And Rex looked with concern at his short but -sturdy legs.</p> - -<p>Olive laughed outright.</p> - -<p>“Oh, Rex, what a funny boy you are! No, -certainly, you are not a dwarf. You’re as -straight and strong as you can be.”</p> - -<p>“Well, but,” said Rex, returning to the first -subject, “I do think it’s very queer about that -little dwarf man coming up the street just as -you were telling me about the blue dwarfs. And -he <i>did</i> look at us in a funny way, Olive, whatever<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span> -you say, just as if he had heard what we -were talking about.”</p> - -<p>“All the people look at us in a funny way -here,” said Olive. “We must look very queer to -them. Your sailor suit, Rex, and my ‘Bolero’ -hat must look to them quite as queer as the -women’s purple skirts, with bright green aprons, -look to us.”</p> - -<p>“Or the bullock-carts,” said Rex. “Do you -remember how queer we thought them at first? -<i>Now</i> we’ve got quite used to seeing queer things, -haven’t we, Olive? Oh! now do look there—at -the top of the street—there, Olive, did you ever -see such a load as that woman is carrying in the -basket on her back? Why, it’s as big as a house!”</p> - -<p>He seemed to have forgotten about the dwarfs, -and Olive was rather glad of it. These two children -were traveling with their uncle and aunt -in a rather out-of-the-way part of Germany. -Out-of-the-way, that is to say, to most of the regular<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span> -summer tourists from other countries, -who prefer going where they are more sure of -finding the comforts and luxuries they are accustomed -to at home. But it was by no means -out-of-the-way in the sense of being dull or -deserted. It is a very busy part of the world -indeed. You would be amazed if I were to tell -you some of the beautiful things that are made -in these bare homely little German cottages. For -all about in the neighborhood there are great -manufactories and warehouses for china and -glass, and many other things; and some parts -of the work are done by the people at home -in their own houses. The morning of the day -of which I am telling you had been spent by the -children and their friends in visiting a very large -china manufactory, and their heads were full of -the pretty and wonderful things they had seen.</p> - -<p>And now they were waiting in the best parlor -of the village inn while their uncle arranged<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span> -about a carriage to take them all on to the small -town where they were to stay a few days. Their -aunt was tired, and was resting a little on the -sofa, and they had planted themselves on the -broad window-sill, and were looking out with -amusement at all that passed.</p> - -<p>“What have you been chattering about all -this time?” said their aunt, suddenly looking -up. “I think I must have been asleep a little, -but I have heard your voices going on like two -birds twittering.”</p> - -<p>“Have we disturbed you, Auntie?” asked -Olive, with concern.</p> - -<p>“Oh no, not a bit; but come here and tell me -what you have been talking about.”</p> - -<p>Instantly Rex’s mind went back to the dwarfs.</p> - -<p>“Auntie,” he said seriously, “perhaps you can -tell me better than Olive can. Are there really -countries of dwarfs, and are they a kind of -fairies, Auntie?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span></p> - -<p>Auntie looked rather puzzled.</p> - -<p>“Dwarfs, Rex?” she said; “countries of -dwarfs! How do you mean?”</p> - -<p>Olive hastened to explain. Auntie was very -much amused.</p> - -<p>“Certainly,” she said, “we have already seen -so many strange things in our travels that it is -better not to be too sure what we may not see. -But any way, Rex, you may be quite easy in your -mind, that if ever you come across any of the -dwarfs, you will find them very good-natured -and amiable, only you must be very respectful—always -say ‘Sir,’ or ‘My lord,’ or something -like that to them, and bow a great deal. And -you must never seem to think anything they do -the least odd, not even if they propose to you to -walk on your head, or to eat roast fir-cones for -dinner, for instance.”</p> - -<p>Auntie was quite young—not so very much -older than Olive—and very merry. Olive’s rather<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span> -“grown-up” tones and manners used sometimes -to tempt her to make fun of the little girl, which, -to tell the truth, Olive did not always take quite -in good part. And it must for Olive be allowed, -that Auntie did sometimes allow her spirits and -love of fun to run away with her a little too far, -just like pretty unruly ponies, excited by the -fresh air and sunshine, who toss their heads and -gallop off. It is great fun at first and very nice -to see, but one is sometimes afraid they may do -some mischief on the way—without meaning it, -of course; and, besides, it is not always so easy -to pull them up as it was to start them.</p> - -<p>Just as Auntie finished speaking the door -opened and their uncle came in. He was Auntie’s -elder brother—a good deal older—and very kind -and sensible. At once all thoughts of the dwarfs -or what Auntie had been saying danced out of -Rex’s curly head. Like a true boy he flew off to -his uncle, besieging him with questions as to what<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span> -sort of a carriage they were to go on in—<i>was</i> it -an ox-cart; oh, mightn’t they <i>for once</i> go in an -ox-cart? and might he—oh, might he sit beside -the driver in front?</p> - -<p>His uncle laughed and replied to his questions, -but Olive stayed beside the sofa, staring gravely -at her aunt.</p> - -<p>“Auntie,” she said, “you’re not <i>in earnest</i>, -are you, about there being really a country of -dwarfs?”</p> - -<p>Olive was twelve. Perhaps you will think her -very silly to have imagined for a moment that her -aunt’s joke could be anything but a joke, especially -as she had been so sensible about not letting -Rex get anything into his head which could -frighten him. But I am not sure that she was -so very silly after all. She had read in her geography -about the Lapps and Finns, the tiny little -men of the north, whom one might very well -describe as dwarfs; there might be dwarfs in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span> -these strange Thüringian forests, which were -little spoken of in geography books; Auntie -knew more of such things than she did, for she -had traveled in this country before. Then with -her own eyes Olive had seen a dwarf, and though -she had said to Rex that he was just an odd dwarf -by himself as it were, not one of a race, how could -she tell but what he might be one of a number -of such queer little people? And even the blue -dwarfs themselves—the little figures in the china -manufactory—rather went to prove it than not.</p> - -<p>“They may have taken the idea of dwarfs -from the real ones, as Rex said,” thought Olive. -“Any way I shall look well about me if we go -through any of these forests again. They must -live in the forests, for Auntie said they eat roast -fir-cones for dinner.”</p> - -<p>All these thoughts were crowding through her -mind as she stared up into Auntie’s face and -asked solemnly—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span></p> - -<p>“Auntie, were you in earnest?”</p> - -<p>Auntie’s blue eyes sparkled.</p> - -<p>“In earnest, Olive?” she said. “Of course! -Why shouldn’t I be in earnest? But come, quick, -we must get our things together. Your uncle -must have got a carriage.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said he, “I have. <i>Not</i> an ox-cart, Rex. -I’m sorry for your sake, but for no one else’s; -for I don’t think there would be much left of us -by the end of the journey if we were to be jogged -along the forest roads in an ox-cart. No! I -have got quite a respectable vehicle; but we -must stop an hour or two on the way, to rest the -horses and give them a feed, otherwise we could -not get through to-night.”</p> - -<p>“Where shall we stop?” said Auntie, as with -the bundles of shawls and bags they followed the -children’s uncle to the door.</p> - -<p>“There is a little place in the forest, where -they can look after the horses,” said he; “and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span> -I daresay we can get some coffee there for ourselves, -if we want it. It is a pretty little nook. -I remember it long ago, and I shall be glad to -see it again.”</p> - -<p>Olive had pricked up her ears. “A little place -in the forest!” she said to herself; “that may -be near where the dwarfs live: it is most likely -not far from here, because of the one we saw.” -She would have liked to ask her uncle about it, -but something in the look of her aunt’s eyes kept -her from doing so.</p> - -<p>“Perhaps she <i>was</i> joking,” thought Olive to -herself. “But perhaps she doesn’t know; <i>she</i> -didn’t see the real dwarf. It would be rather -nice if I did find them, <i>then</i> Auntie couldn’t -laugh at me any more.”</p> - -<p>They were soon comfortably settled in the carriage, -and set off. The first part of the drive -was not particularly interesting; and it was so -hot, though already afternoon, that they were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span> -all—Olive especially, you may be sure—delighted -to exchange the open country for the pleasant -shade of a grand pine forest, through which their -road now lay.</p> - -<p>“Is it a very large forest, Uncle?” said Olive.</p> - -<p>“Yes, very large,” he replied rather sleepily, -to tell the truth: for both he and Auntie had -been nodding a little, and Rex had once or twice -been fairly asleep. But Olive’s imagination was -far too hard at work to let her sleep.</p> - -<p>“The largest in Europe?” she went on, without -giving much thought to poor Uncle’s sleepiness.</p> - -<p>“Oh yes, by far,” he replied, for he had not -heard clearly what she said, and fancied it was -“the largest hereabouts.”</p> - -<p>“Dear me!” thought Olive, looking round her -with awe and satisfaction. “If there are dwarfs -anywhere, then it must be here.”</p> - -<p>And she was just beginning another. “And<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span> -please, Uncle, is——?” when her aunt looked up -and said lazily—</p> - -<p>“Oh, my dear child, do be quiet! Can’t you -go to sleep yourself a little! We shall have more -than enough of the forest before we are out of -it?” Which offended Olive so much that she -relapsed into silence.</p> - -<p>Auntie was a truer prophet than she knew; -for when they got to the little hamlet in the wood, -where they were to rest, something proved to be -wrong with one of the horse’s shoes; <i>so</i> wrong, -indeed, that after a prolonged examination, at -which all the inhabitants turned out to assist, it -was decided that the horse must be re-shod before -he could go any farther; and this made it impossible -for the party who had come in the carriage -to go any farther either. For the nearest smithy -was two miles off; the horse must be led there -and back by the driver, which would take at -least two, if not three, hours. It was now past<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span> -six, and they had come barely half way. The -driver shook his head, and said he would not like -to go on to the town till morning. The horse -had pricked his foot; it might cause inflammation -to drive him farther without a rest, and the -carriage was far too heavy for the other horse -alone, which had suddenly struck the children’s -uncle as a brilliant idea.</p> - -<p>“There would be no difficulty about the harnessing, -any way,” he said to Auntie, laughing; -“for all the vehicles hereabouts drawn by one -horse have the animal at one side of a pole, instead -of between shafts.”</p> - -<p>But Auntie thought it better to give in.</p> - -<p>“It really doesn’t much matter,” she said; “we -can stay here well enough. There are two bedrooms, -and no doubt they can give us something -to eat; beer and sausages, and brown bread any -way.”</p> - -<p>And so it was settled greatly to Olive’s satisfaction;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span> -it would give her capital opportunities -for a dwarf hunt! though as to this she kept her -own counsel.</p> - -<p>The landlady of the little post-house where they -had stopped was accustomed to occasional visits of -this kind from benighted or distressed travelers. -She thought nothing of turning her two daughters -out of their bedroom, which, it must be -owned, was very clean, for Auntie and Olive, -and a second room on the ground-floor was prepared -for Rex and his uncle. She had coffee ready -in five minutes, and promised them a comfortable -supper before bedtime. Altogether, everything -seemed very satisfactory, and when they -felt a little refreshed, Auntie proposed a walk—“a -good long walk,” she said, “would do us -good. And the landlady says we get out of the -forest up there behind the house, where the -ground rises, and that there is a lovely view. It -will be rather a climb, but it isn’t more than<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span> -three quarters of an hour from here, and we have -not walked all day.”</p> - -<p>Uncle thought it a good idea, and Rex was -ready to start at once; but Olive looked less -pleased.</p> - -<p>“Don’t you want to come, Olive?” said Auntie. -“Are you tired? You didn’t take a nap like the -rest of us.”</p> - -<p>“I am a little tired,” said Olive, which was -true in one sense, though not in another, for she -was quite fit for a walk. It struck her that her -excuse was not quite an honest one, so she added, -“If you don’t mind, I would rather stay about -here. I don’t mind being alone, and I have my -book. And I do so like the forest.”</p> - -<p>“Very well,” said her uncle; “only don’t lose -yourself. She is perfectly safe,” he added, turning -to her aunt; “there are neither wolves, nor -bears, nor robbers nowadays, in these peaceful -forests.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span></p> - -<p>So the three set off, leaving Olive to her own -devices. She waited till they were out of sight, -then she made her preparations.</p> - -<p>“I’d better take my purse,” she said to herself, -“in case I meet the dwarfs. Auntie told -me to be very polite, and perhaps they would like -some of these tiny pieces; they just look as if -they were meant for them.” So she chose out a -few one-pfennig copper coins, which are much -smaller than our farthings, and one or two silver -pieces, worth about twopence-halfpenny each, -still smaller. Then she put in her pocket half a -slice of the brown bread they had had with their -coffee, and arming herself, more for appearance’-sake -than anything else, with her parasol and -the book she had with her in her traveling bag, -she set off on her solitary ramble.</p> - -<p>It was still hot—though the forest trees made a -pleasant shade. Olive walked some way, farther -and farther, as far as she could make out, into the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span> -heart of the forest, but in her inexperience she took -no sort of care to notice the way she went, or to -make for herself any kind of landmarks. She -just wandered on and on, tempted first by some -mysterious little path, and then by another, her -mind full of the idea of the discoveries she was -perhaps about to make. Now and then a squirrel -darted across from one tree to another, disappearing -among the branches almost before Olive could -be sure she had seen it, or some wild wood birds, -less familiar to the little foreigner, would startle -her with a shrill, strange note. There were here -and there lovely flowers growing among the -moss, and more than once she heard the sound of -not far off trickling water. It was all strangely -beautiful, and she would greatly have enjoyed and -admired it had not her mind been so full of the -queer fascinating idea of the blue dwarfs.</p> - -<p>At last—she had wandered about for some -time—Olive began to feel tired.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I may as well sit down a little,” she thought; -“I have lots of time to get back. This seems -the very heart of the forest. They are just as -likely to be seen here as anywhere else.”</p> - -<p>So Olive ensconced herself in a comfortable -corner, her back against the root of a tree, which -seemed hollowed out on purpose to serve as an -armchair. She thought at first she would read -a little, but the light was already slightly waning, -and the tree shadows made it still fainter. -Besides, Olive had plenty to think of—she did -not require any amusement. Queer little noises -now and then made themselves heard—once or -twice it really sounded as if small feet were pattering -along, or as if shrill little voices were laughing -in the distance; and with each sound, Olive’s -heart beat faster with excitement—not with -fear.</p> - -<p>“If I sit very still,” she thought, “who knows -what I may see? Of course, it would be much<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span> -nicer and prettier if the dwarfs were quite tiny—not -like the little man we saw in the street at that -place—I forget the name—for he was not pretty -at all—but like the blue dwarfs at the manufactory. -But that, I suppose, is impossible, for they -would be really like fairies. But they might be -something between: not so big as the little man, -and yet bigger than the blue dwarfs.”</p> - -<p>And then Olive grew a little confused in trying -to settle in her mind how big, or how small rather, -it was possible or impossible for a nation of dwarfs -to be. She thought it over till she hardly seemed -sure what she was trying to decide. She kept -saying to herself, “Any way, they could not but -be a good deal bigger than my thumb! What -does that mean? Perhaps it means more in German -measures than in English, perhaps——”</p> - -<p>But what was that that suddenly hit her on the -nose! Olive looked up, a very little inclined to -be offended; it is not a pleasant thing to be hit<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span> -on the nose; could it be Rex come behind her -suddenly, and playing her a trick? Just as she -was thinking this, a second smart tap on the nose -startled her still more, and this time there was no -mistake about it; it came from above, and it was -a fir-cone! Had it come of itself? Somehow the -words, “Roast fir-cones for dinner,” kept running -in her head, and she took up the fir-cone in -her fingers to examine it, but quickly dropped it -again, for it was as hot as a coal.</p> - -<p>“It has a very roasty smell,” thought Olive; -“where can it have come from?”</p> - -<p>And hardly had she asked herself the question, -when a sudden noise all round her made her -again look up. They were sliding down the -branches of the tree in all directions. At first, -to her dazzled eyes, they seemed a whole army, -but as they touched the ground one by one, and -she was able to distinguish them better, she saw -that after all there were not so <i>very</i> many. One,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span> -two, three, she began quickly counting to herself, -not aloud, of course—that would not have -been polite—one, two, three, up to twelve, then -thirteen, fourteen and so on up to—yes, there -were just twenty-four of them.</p> - -<p>“Two of each,” said Olive to herself; “a double -set of the blue dwarfs.”</p> - -<p>For they were the blue dwarfs, and no mistake! -Two of each, as Olive had seen at once. -And immediately they settled themselves in twos—two -squatted on the ground embracing their -knees, two strode across a barrel which they had -somehow or other brought with them, two began -turning head-over-heels, two knelt down with -their heads and queer little grinning faces looking -over their shoulders, twos and twos of them in -every funny position you could imagine, all arranged -on the mossy ground in front of where -Olive sat, and all dressed in the same bright blue -coats as the toy dwarfs at the china manufactory.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span></p> - -<p>Olive sat still and looked at them. Somehow -she did not feel surprised.</p> - -<p>“How big are they?” she said to herself. -“Bigger than my thumb? Oh yes, a good deal. -I should think they are about as tall as my arm -would be if it was standing on the ground. I -should think they would come up above my knee. -I should like to stand up and measure, but perhaps -it is better for me not to speak to them till -they speak to me.”</p> - -<p>She had not long to wait. In another moment -two little blue figures separated themselves from -the crowd, and made their way up to her. But -when they were close to her feet they gave a sudden -jump in the air, and came down, not on their -feet, but on their heads! And then again some -of her aunt’s words came back to her, “If they -should ask you to stand on your head, for instance.”</p> - -<p>“Dear me,” thought Olive, “how did Auntie<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span> -know so much about them? But I do hope they -won’t ask me to stand on <i>my</i> head.”</p> - -<p>Her fears were somewhat relieved when the -dwarfs gave another spring and came down this -time in a respectable manner on their feet. Then, -with a good many bows and flourishes, they -began a speech.</p> - -<p>“We are afraid,” said the first.</p> - -<p>“That the fir-cones,” said the second.</p> - -<p>“Were rather underdone,” finished up the -first.</p> - -<p>Olive really did not know what to say. She -was dreadfully afraid that it would seem so -very rude of her not even to have <i>tasted</i> the -cones. But naturally she had not had the -slightest idea that they had been intended for -her to eat.</p> - -<p>“I am very sorry,” she said, “Mr.——, sir! -my lord! I beg your pardon. I don’t quite -know what I should call you.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span></p> - -<p>“With all respect,” said the first.</p> - -<p>“And considering the circumstances,” went on -the second.</p> - -<p>Then just as Olive supposed they were going -to tell her their names, they stopped short and -looked at her.</p> - -<p>“I beg your pardon,” she began again, after -waiting a minute or two to see if they had nothing -else to say; “I don’t quite understand.”</p> - -<p>“Nor do we,” they replied promptly, speaking -for the first time both together.</p> - -<p>“Do you mean you don’t know what <i>my</i> name -is?” said she. “It’s Olive, <i>Olive</i>” for the -dwarfs stood staring as if they had not heard her. -“<span class="smcap">Olive</span>!” she repeated for the third time.</p> - -<p>“Green?” asked the first.</p> - -<p>“No!” said Olive. “Of course not! <i>Green</i> -is a very common name—at least——”</p> - -<p>“But you called us ‘blue,’” said the second; -and it really was a relief to hear him finish a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span> -sentence comfortably by himself, only Olive felt -very puzzled by what he said.</p> - -<p>“How do you know?” she said. “How could -you tell I called you the blue dwarfs?” and then -another thought suddenly struck her. How very -odd it was that the dwarf spoke such good English! -“I thought you were German,” she said.</p> - -<p>“How very amusing!” said the dwarfs, this -time again speaking together.</p> - -<p>Olive could not see that it was very amusing, -but she was afraid of saying so, for fear it should -be rude.</p> - -<p>“And about the fir-cones,” went on the first -dwarf. “It is distressing to think they were so -underdone. But we have come, all of us,” waving -his hand in the direction of the others, “to -invite you to supper in our village. There you -will find them done to perfection.”</p> - -<p>Olive felt more and more uncomfortable.</p> - -<p>“You are very kind,” she said. “I should like<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span> -to come very much if it isn’t too far; but I am -afraid I couldn’t eat any supper. Indeed, I’m -not hungry.” And then a bright thought struck -her. “See here,” she went on, drawing the half -slice of bread out of her pocket, “I had to put -this in my pocket, for I couldn’t finish it at our -afternoon coffee.”</p> - -<p>The two dwarfs came close and examined the -piece of bread with the greatest attention. They -pinched and smelt it, and one of them put out his -queer little pointed tongue and licked it.</p> - -<p>“Not good!” he said, looking up at Olive and -rolling about his eyes in a very queer way.</p> - -<p>“I don’t know,” said Olive; “I don’t think -it can be bad. It is the regular bread of the -country. I should have thought you would be -accustomed to it, as you live here.”</p> - -<p>The two dwarfs took no notice of what she -said, but suddenly turned round, and standing -with their backs to Olive called out shrilly,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span> -“Gueton Tag.” Immediately all the other -dwarfs replied in the same tone and the same -words, and to Olive’s great surprise they all began -to move towards her, but without altering -their attitudes—those on the barrel rolled towards -her without getting off it; the two who were -hugging their knees continued to hug them, -while they came on by means of jerking themselves; -the turning head-over-heels ones span -along like wheels, and so on till the whole assemblage -were at her feet. Then she saw unfolded -before her, hanging on the branches of -the tree, a large mantle, just the shape of her -aunt’s travelling dust-cloak, which she always -spread over Olive in a carriage, only, instead of -being drab or fawn-colored, it was, like the -dwarfs’ jackets, bright blue. And without any -one telling her, Olive seemed to know of herself -that she was to put it on.</p> - -<p>She got up and reached the cloak easily; it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span> -seemed to put itself on, and Olive felt very happy -and triumphant as she said to herself, “Now -I’m really going to have some adventures.”</p> - -<p>The dwarfs marched—no! one cannot call it -marching, for they had about a dozen different -ways of proceeding—they moved on, and Olive -in the middle, her blue cloak floating majestically -on her shoulders. No one spoke a word. -It grew darker and darker among the trees, but -Olive did not feel frightened. On they went, till -at last she saw twinkling before them a very -small but bright blue light. It looked scarcely -larger than the lamp of a glow-worm, but it -shone out very distinct in the darkness. Immediately -they saw it the dwarfs set up a shout, and -as it died away, to Olive’s surprise, they began -to sing. And what do you think they sang? -Olive at first could hardly believe her ears as -they listened to the thoroughly English song of -“Home, sweet Home.” And the queerest thing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span> -was that they sang it very prettily, and that it -sounded exactly like her aunt’s voice! And -though they were walking close beside her, their -voices when they left off singing did not so much -seem to stop as to move off, to die away into the -distance, which struck Olive as very odd.</p> - -<p>They had now arrived at the trunk of a large -tree, half way up which hung the little lamp—at -least Olive supposed it must be a lamp—from -which came the bright blue light.</p> - -<p>“Here we are,” said one of the dwarfs, she did -not see which, “at the entrance to our village.” -And thereupon all the dwarfs began climbing up -the tree, swarming about it like a hive of bees, -till they got some way up, when one after another -they suddenly disappeared. Olive could -see all they did by the blue light. She was beginning -to wonder if she would be left standing -there alone, when a shout made her look up, and -she saw two dwarfs standing on a branch holding<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span> -a rope ladder, which they had just thrown -down, and making signs to her to mount up by -it. It was quite easy; up went Olive, step by -step, and when she reached the place where the -two dwarfs were standing, she saw how it was -that they had all disappeared. The tree trunk -was hollow, and there were steps cut in it like a -stair, down which the dwarfs signed to her that -she was to go. She did not need to be twice told, -so eager was she to see what was to come. The -stair was rather difficult for her to get down -without falling, for the steps were too small, -being intended for the dwarfs, but Olive managed -pretty well, only slipping now and then. The -stair seemed very long, and as she went farther -it grew darker, till at last it was quite dark; by -which time, fortunately, however, she felt herself -again on level ground, and after waiting half -a minute a door seemed to open, and she found -herself standing outside the tree stair, with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span> -prettiest sight before her eyes that she had ever -seen or even imagined.</p> - -<p>It was the dwarf village! Rows and rows of -tiny houses—none of them more than about twice -as high as Olive herself, for that was quite big -enough for a dwarf cottage, each with a sweet little -garden in front, like what one sees in English -villages, though the houses themselves were like -Swiss châlets. It was not dark down here, there -was a soft light about as bright as we have it -at summer twilight; and besides this each little -house had a twinkling blue light hanging above -the front door, like a sign-post. And at the door -of each cottage stood one of the dwarfs, with a -little dwarf wife beside him; only, instead of -blue, each little woman was dressed in brown, -so that they were rather less showy than their -husbands. They all began bowing as Olive appeared, -and all the little women curtseying, and -Olive seemed to understand, without being told,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span> -that she was to walk up the village street to see -all there was to be seen. So on she marched, her -blue cloak floating about her, so that sometimes -it reached the roofs of the houses on each side at -the same time.</p> - -<p>Olive felt herself rather clumsy. Her feet, -which in general she was accustomed to consider -rather neat, and by no means too large for her -age, seemed such great awkward things. If she -had put one of them in at the window of a dwarf -house, it would have knocked everything out of -its place.</p> - -<p>“Dear me!” thought Olive, “I had no idea <i>I</i> -could seem clumsy! I feel like a great plowman. -I wish I were not so big.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said a voice beside her, “it has its disadvantages;” -and Olive, looking down to see -who spoke—she had to look down for everything—caught -sight of one of the two dwarfs with -whom she had first spoken. She felt a little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span> -ruffled. She did not like this trick of the dwarf -hearing what she thought before she said it.</p> - -<p>“Everything has its disadvantages,” she replied. -“Don’t you find yourself very inconveniently -small when you are up in <i>our</i> world?”</p> - -<p>“Exactly so,” said the dwarf; but he did not -seem the least put out.</p> - -<p>“They are certainly very good-tempered,” -said Olive to herself. Then suddenly a thought -struck her.</p> - -<p>“Your village is very neat and pretty,” she -said; “though, perhaps—I don’t mean to be -rude, not on any account——”</p> - -<p>“No,” interrupted the dwarf; “Auntie told -you on no account to be rude.”</p> - -<p>“Auntie!” repeated Olive, in astonishment; -“she is not <i>your</i> auntie!”</p> - -<p>“On no account,” said the dwarf, in the same -calm tone, but without seeming to take in that -Olive meant to reprove him.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span></p> - -<p>“It’s no use trying to make them understand,” -said Olive to herself.</p> - -<p>“Not the least,” said the dwarf; at which -Olive felt so provoked that she could have stamped -her feet with irritation. But as <i>thinking</i> crossly -seemed in this country to be quite as bad as -<i>speaking</i> crossly, she had to try to swallow down -her vexation as well as she could.</p> - -<p>“I was going to say,” she went on quietly, -“that to my taste the village would be prettier -if there was a little variety. Not all the houses -just the same, you know. And all of <i>you</i> are so -like each other, and all your little brown wives -too. Are there no <i>children</i> dwarfs?”</p> - -<p>“Doubtless. Any quantity,” was the answer.</p> - -<p>“Then where are they all?” said Olive. “Are -they all asleep?” She put the last question -rather sarcastically, but the sarcasm seemed to -be lost on the little man.</p> - -<p>“Yes, all asleep,” he replied; “all asleep, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span> -dreaming. Children are very fond of dreaming,” -he went on, looking up at Olive with such a -queer expression, and such a queer tone in his -voice too, that Olive got a queer feeling herself, -as if he meant more than his words actually said. -Could he mean to hint that <i>she</i> was dreaming? -But a remark from the dwarf distracted her -thoughts.</p> - -<p>“Supper is ready,” he said. “They are all -waiting.” And turning round, Olive saw before -her a cottage a good deal larger than the others; -in fact, it was almost high enough for her, with -considerable stooping, to get in at the door. And -through the windows she saw a long table neatly -covered with a bright blue table-cloth, and spread -with numbers of tiny plates, and beside each -plate a knife and fork and a little blue glass cup. -Two great dishes stood on the table, one at each -end. Steam was rising from each, and a delicious -smell came out through the open windows.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span></p> - -<p>“I did not know I was so hungry,” thought -Olive; “but I do <i>hope</i> it isn’t fir-cones.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said the dwarf; “they’ll be better done -this time.”</p> - -<p>Then he gave a sort of sharp, sudden cry or -whistle, and immediately all the dwarfs of the -village appeared as if by magic, and began -hurrying into the house, but as soon as they -were in the middle of the passage they fell -back at each side, leaving a clear space in the -middle.</p> - -<p>“For you,” said the first dwarf, bowing politely.</p> - -<p>“Do you always have supper here altogether -like that?” said Olive. “How funny!”</p> - -<p>“Not at all.” said the dwarf; “it’s a table -d’hôte. Be so good as to take your place.”</p> - -<p>Olive bent her head cautiously in preparation -for passing through the door, when again the -same sharp cry startled her, and lifting her head<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span> -suddenly she bumped it against the lintel. The -pain of the blow was rather severe.</p> - -<p>“What did you do that for?” she exclaimed -angrily. “Why did you scream out like that? -I——” But she said no more. The cry was repeated, -and this time it did its work effectually, -for Olive awoke. Awoke—was it waking?—to -find herself all in the dark, stiff and cold, and -her head aching with the bump she had given it -against the old tree-trunk, while farther off now -she heard the same shrill hoot or cry of some -early astir night-bird, which had sounded before -in her dreams.</p> - -<p>“Oh dear! oh dear!” she sobbed, “what shall -I do? Where am I? How can I ever find my -way in the dark? I believe it was all a trick of -those nasty blue dwarfs. I don’t believe I <i>was</i> -dreaming. They must be spiteful goblins. I -wish I had not gone with them to see their village.” -And so for some minutes, half asleep and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span> -half awake, Olive stayed crouching by the tree, -which seemed her only protector. But by degrees, -as her senses—her common sense particularly—came -back to her, she began to realize -that it was worse than useless to sit there crying. -Dark as it was, she must try to find her way -back to the little inn, where, doubtless, Auntie -and the others were in the greatest distress about -her, the thought of which nearly made her burst -out crying again; and poor Olive stumbled up -to her feet as best she could, fortunately not forgetting -to feel for her book and parasol which -were lying beside her and slowly and tremblingly -made her way on a few steps, hoping that -perhaps if she could manage to get out of the -shadow of the trees it might not be quite so dark -farther on. She was not altogether disappointed. -It certainly grew a very little less black, but that -it was a very dark night there was no denying. -And, indeed, though it had not been dark, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span> -would have had the greatest difficulty in finding -her way out of the wood, into which she had so -thoughtlessly penetrated. Terrifying thoughts, -too, began to crowd into her mind, though, as I -think I have shown you, she was not at all a -timid child. But a forest on a dark night, and -so far away from everywhere—it was enough to -shake her nerves. She hoped and trusted there -was no fear of wolves in summer-time; but bears!—ah! -as to bears there was no telling. Even -the hooting cries of the birds which she now and -then again heard in the distance frightened her, -and she felt that a bat flapping against her would -send her nearly out of her mind. And after a -while she began to lose heart—it was not quite -so dark, but she had not the very least idea where -she was going. She kept bumping and knocking -herself against the trunks; she was evidently -not in a path, but wandering farther and farther -among the forest trees. That was about all she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span> -could feel sure of, and after two or three more vain -efforts Olive fairly gave up, and, sinking down on -the ground, again burst into tears.</p> - -<p>“If I but had a mariner’s compass,” she -thought, her fancy wandering off to all the -stories of lost people she had ever heard of. Then -she further reflected that a compass would do her -very little good if it was too dark to see it, and -still more as she had not the slightest idea -whether her road lay north, south, east, or west. -“If the stars were out!” was her next idea; -but then, I am ashamed to say, Olive’s ideas of -astronomy were limited. She could have perhaps -recognized the Plow and the Pole star, but she -could not remember which way they pointed. -Besides, she did not feel quite sure that in Thüringen -one would see the same stars as in England -or Paris; and, after all, as there were none visible, -it was no good puzzling about it, only if -they <i>had</i> been there it would not have seemed so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span> -lonely. Suddenly—what was that in the distance? -A light, a tiny light, bobbing in and out -of sight among the trees? Could it be a star -come out of its way to take pity on her? Much -more likely a Will-o’-the-wisp; for she did not -stop to reflect that a dry pine forest in summer-time -is not one of Will-o’-the-wisp’s favorite playgrounds. -It was a light, as to that there was no -doubt, and it was coming nearer. Whether she -was more frightened or glad Olive scarcely knew. -Still, almost anything was better than to sit -there to be eaten up by bears, or to die of starvation; -and she eagerly watched the light now -steadily approaching her, till it came near enough -for her to see that it was a lantern carried by -some person not high above the ground. A boy -perhaps; could it be—oh, joyful thought!—could -it be Rex? But no; even if they were all looking -for her it was not likely that they would let -Rex be running about alone to get lost too. Still,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span> -it must <i>be</i> a boy, and without waiting to think -more Olive called out—</p> - -<p>“Oh, please come and help me! I’m lost in the -wood!” she cried, thinking nothing of German -or anything but her sore distress.</p> - -<p>The lantern moved about undecidedly for a -moment or two, then the light flashed towards -her and came still nearer.</p> - -<p>“<i>Ach Gott!</i>” exclaimed an unfamiliar voice, -and Olive, peering forward, thought for half a -second she was again dreaming. He was not, -certainly, dressed in blue, and he was a good -deal taller than up to her knee; but still he was—there -was no doubt about it—he was a dwarf! -And another gaze at his queer little figure and -bright sparkling eyes told Olive that it was the -very same little man who had smiled at Rex -and her when he saw them leaning out of the -inn window that very afternoon.</p> - -<p>She didn’t feel frightened; he looked so good-natured<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span> -and so sorry for her. And somehow -Olive’s faith in the possible existence of a nation -of dwarfs had received a shock; she was much -more inclined to take things prosaically. But it -was very difficult to explain matters. I think -the dwarf at the first moment was more inclined -to take <i>her</i> for something supernatural than she -was now to imagine him a brownie or a gnome. -For she was a pretty little girl, with a mass of -golden fair hair and English blue eyes; and with -her hat half fallen off, and her cheeks flushed, -she might have sat for a picture of a fairy who -had strayed from her home.</p> - -<p>Her German seemed all to go out of her head. -But she managed to remember the name of the -village where they had been that afternoon, and -a sudden recollection seemed to come over the -dwarf. He poured out a flood of words and exclamations, -amidst which all that Olive could -understand was the name of the village and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span> -words “<i>verirrt</i>,” “<i>armes Kind</i>,” which she knew -meant “lost” and “poor child.” Then he went on -to tell that he too was on his way from the same -village to somewhere; that he came by the woods, -because it was shorter, and lifting high his lantern, -gave Olive to understand that he could now -show her the way.</p> - -<p>So off she set under his guidance, and, only -fancy! a walk of not more than ten minutes -brought them to the little inn! Olive’s wanderings -and straying had, after all, drawn her very -near her friends if she had known it. Poor -Auntie and Rex were running about in front of -the house in great distress. Uncle and the landlord -and the coachman had set off with lanterns, -and the landlady was trying to persuade Auntie -that there was not <i>really</i> anything to be afraid -of; neither bears, nor wolves, nor evilly-disposed -people about: the little young lady had, doubtless, -fallen asleep in the wood with the heat and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span> -fatigue of the day; which, as you know, was a -very good guess, though the landlady little imagined -what queer places and people Olive had -been visiting in her sleep.</p> - -<p>The dwarf was a well-known person thereabouts, -and a very harmless, kindly little man. -A present of a couple of marks sent him off to -his cottage near by very happy indeed, and when -Uncle returned a few minutes later to see if the -wanderer had been heard of, you can imagine -how thankful he was to find her. It was not so -<i>very</i> late after all, not above half-past ten o’clock, -but a thunderstorm which came on not long after -explained the unusual darkness of the cloud-covered -sky.</p> - -<p>“<i>What</i> a good thing you were safe before the -storm came on!” said Auntie, with a shudder at -the thought of the dangers her darling had escaped. -“I will take care never again to carry -my jokes too far,” she resolved, when Olive had<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span> -confided to her the real motive of her wanderings -in the wood. And Olive, for her part, decided -that she would be content with fairies and dwarfs -in books and fancy, without trying to find them -in reality.</p> - -<p>“Though all the same,” she said to herself, -“I should have liked to taste the roast fir-cones. -They did smell so good!” “And, Auntie,” she -said aloud, “were you singing in the wood on -your way home with Uncle and Rex?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said Auntie, “they begged me to sing -‘Home, sweet Home.’ Why do you ask me?”</p> - -<p>Olive explained. “So it was <i>your</i> voice I heard -when I thought it was the dwarfs,” she said, -smiling.</p> - -<p>And Auntie gave her still another kiss.</p> - - -<p class="pc4 lmid">THE END.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span></p> -<p> </p> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">A. L. Burt’s Catalogue of Books for<br /> -Young People by Popular Writers, 52-58<br /> -Duane Street, New York</h2> - -<hr class="d2" /> - -<p class="large"><b>BOOKS FOR GIRLS.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.</b> By <span class="smcap">Lewis Carroll</span>.</p> -<p class="reduct">12mo, cloth, 42 illustrations, price 75 cents.</p> - -<p class="reduct">“From first to last, almost without exception, this story is delightfully -droll, humorous and illustrated in harmony with the story.”—<b>New York -Express.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found -There.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Lewis Carroll</span>. 12mo, cloth, 50 illustrations, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A delight alike to the young people and their elders, extremely funny -both in text and illustrations.”—<b>Boston Express.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Lucy’s Wonderful Globe.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Charlotte M. -Yonge</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This story is unique among tales intended for children, alike for pleasant -instruction, quaintness of humor, gentle pathos, and the subtlety with -which lessons moral and otherwise are conveyed to children, and perhaps -to their seniors as well.”—<b>The Spectator.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Joan’s Adventures at the North Pole and Elsewhere.</b></p> -<p class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Alice Corkran</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</p> - -<p class="reduct">“Wonderful as the adventures of Joan are, it must be admitted that -they are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented. Altogether -this is an excellent story for girls.”—<b>Saturday Review.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Count Up the Sunny Days</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls and Boys. -By <span class="smcap">C. A. Jones</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“An unusually good children’s story.”—<b>Glasgow Herald.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Dove in the Eagle’s Nest.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Charlotte M. -Yonge</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Among all the modern writers we believe Miss Yonge first, not in -genius, but in this, that she employs her great abilities for a high and -noble purpose. We know of few modern writers whose works may be so -safely commended as hers.”—<b>Cleveland Times.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Jan of the Windmill.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story of the Plains. By <span class="smcap">Mrs. -J. H. Ewing</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Never has Mrs. Ewing published a more charming volume, and that -is saying a very great deal. From the first to the last the book overflows -with the strange knowledge of child-nature which so rarely survives -childhood: and moreover, with inexhaustible quiet humor, which -is never anything but innocent and well-bred, never priggish, and never -clumsy.”—<b>Academy.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>A Sweet Girl Graduate.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">L. T. Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, -illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of this popular author’s best. The characters are well imagined -and drawn. The story moves with plenty of spirit and the interest does -not flag until the end too quickly comes.”—<b>Providence Journal.</b></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Six to Sixteen</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">Juliana -Horatia Ewing</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“There is no doubt as to the good quality and attractiveness of ‘Six to -Sixteen.’ The book is one which would enrich any girl’s book shelf.”—<b>St. -James’ Gazette.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Palace Beautiful</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">L. T. -Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A bright and interesting story. The many admirers of Mrs. L. T. -Meade in this country will be delighted with the ‘Palace Beautiful’ for -more reasons than one. It is a charming book for girls.”—<b>New York -Recorder.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>A World of Girls</b>: <span class="reduct">The Story of a School. By <span class="smcap">L. T. -Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of those wholesome stories which it does one good to read. It -will afford pure delight to numerous readers. This book should be on -every girl’s book shelf.”—<b>Boston Home Journal.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Lady of the Forest</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">L. T. -Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This story is written in the author’s well-known, fresh and easy style. -All girls fond of reading will be charmed by this well-written story. It -is told with the author’s customary grace and spirit.”—<b>Boston Times.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>At the Back of the North Wind.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">George Macdonald</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A very pretty story, with much of the freshness and vigor of Mr. Macdonald’s -earlier work.... It is a sweet, earnest, and wholesome fairy -story, and the quaint native humor is delightful. A most delightful volume -for young readers.”—<b>Philadelphia Times.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Water Babies</b>: <span class="reduct">A Fairy Tale for a Land Baby. -By <span class="smcap">Charles Kingsley</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The strength of his work, as well as its peculiar charms, consist in -his description of the experiences of a youth with life under water in the -luxuriant wealth of which he revels with all the ardor of a poetical nature.”—<b>New -York Tribune.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Our Bessie.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Rosa N. Carey</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, -price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of the most entertaining stories of the season, full of vigorous -action, and strong in character-painting. Elder girls will be charmed with -it, and adults may read its pages with profit.”—<b>The Teachers’ Aid.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Wild Kitty.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story of Middleton School. By <span class="smcap">L. T. -Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Kitty is a true heroine—warm-hearted, self-sacrificing, and, as all -good women nowadays are, largely touched with the enthusiasm of humanity. -One of the most attractive gift books of the season.”—<b>The Academy.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>A Young Mutineer.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">L. T. -Meade</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of Mrs. Meade’s charming books for girls, narrated in that simple -and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the first among -writers for young people.”—<b>The Spectator.</b></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Sue and I.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Mrs. O’Reilly</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, -price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A thoroughly delightful book, full of sound wisdom as well as fun.”—<b>Athenæum.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Princess and the Goblin.</b> <span class="reduct">A Fairy Story. By -<span class="smcap">George Macdonald</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“If a child once begins this book, it will get so deeply interested in -it that when bedtime comes it will altogether forget the moral, and will -weary its parents with importunities for just a few minutes more to see -how everything ends.”—<b>Saturday Review.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Pythia’s Pupils</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story of a School. By <span class="smcap">Eva -Hartner</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This story of the doings of several bright school girls is sure to interest -girl readers. Among many good stories for girls this is undoubtedly one -of the very best.”—<b>Teachers’ Aid.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>A Story of a Short Life.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Juliana Horatia Ewing</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The book is one we can heartily recommend, for it is not only bright -and interesting, but also pure and healthy in tone and teaching.”—<b>Courier.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Sleepy King.</b> <span class="reduct">A Fairy Tale. By <span class="smcap">Aubrey Hopwood -and Seymour Hicks</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Wonderful as the adventures of Bluebell are, it must be admitted that -they are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented. -Altogether this is an excellent story for girls.”—<b>Saturday Review.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Two Little Waifs.</b> By <span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. 12mo, -cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</p> - -<p class="reduct">“Mrs. Molesworth’s delightful story of ‘Two Little Waifs’ will charm -all the small people who find it in their stockings. It relates the adventures -of two lovable English children lost in Paris, and is just wonderful -enough to pleasantly wring the youthful heart.”—<b>New York Tribune.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Adventures in Toyland.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Edith King Hall</span>. 12mo, -cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The author is such a bright, cheery writer, that her stories are -always acceptable to all who are not confirmed cynics, and her record of -the adventures is as entertaining and enjoyable as we might expect.”—<b>Boston -Courier.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Adventures in Wallypug Land.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">G. E. Farrow</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“These adventures are simply inimitable, and will delight boys and girls -of mature age, as well as their juniors. No happier combination of -author and artist than this volume presents could be found to furnish -healthy amusement to the young folks. The book is an artistic one in -every sense.”—<b>Toronto Mail.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Fussbudget’s Folks.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story for Young Girls. By -<span class="smcap">Anna F. Burnham</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Mrs. Burnham has a rare gift for composing stories for children. With -a light, yet forcible touch, she paints sweet and artless, yet natural and -strong, characters.”—<b>Congregationalist.</b></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Mixed Pickles.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">Mrs. E. M. -Field</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“It is, in its way, a little classic, of which the real beauty and pathos -can hardly be appreciated by young people. It is not too much to say -of the story that it is perfect of its kind.”—<b>Good Literature.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Miss Mouse and Her Boys.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Mrs. Molesworth’s books are cheery, wholesome, and particularly well -adapted to refined life. It is safe to add that she is the best English prose -writer for children. A new volume from Mrs. Molesworth is always a -treat.”—<b>The Beacon.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Gilly Flower.</b> <span class="reduct">A Story for Girls. By the author of -“Miss Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Jill is a little guardian angel to three lively brothers who tease and -play with her.... Her unconscious goodness brings right thoughts -and resolves to several persons who come into contact with her. There is -no goodiness in this tale, but its influence is of the best kind.”—<b>Literary -World.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Chaplet of Pearls</b>; <span class="reduct">or, The White and Black Ribaumont. -By <span class="smcap">Charlotte M. Yonge</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up -readers may enjoy it as much as children. It is one of the best books of -the season.”—<b>Guardian.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Naughty Miss Bunny</b>: <span class="reduct">Her Tricks and Troubles. By -<span class="smcap">Clara Mulholland</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The naughty child is positively delightful. Papas should not omit the -book from their list of juvenile presents.”—<b>Land and Water.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Meg’s Friend.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Alice Corkran</span>. 12mo, cloth, -illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of Miss Corkran’s charming books for girls, narrated in that simple -and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the first among -writers for young people.”—<b>The Spectator.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Averil.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Rosa N. Carey</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, -price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A charming story for young folks. Averil is a delightful creature—piquant, -tender, and true—and her varying fortunes are perfectly realistic.”—<b>World.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Aunt Diana.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Rosa N. Carey</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, -price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“An excellent story, the interest being sustained from first to last. -This is, both in its intention and the way the story is told, one of the -best books of its kind which has come before us this year.”—<b>Saturday -Review.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Sunshine’s Holiday</b>: <span class="reduct">A Picture from Life. By -<span class="smcap">Miss Mulock</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This is a pretty narrative of child life, describing the simple doings -and sayings of a very charming and rather precocious child. This is a -delightful book for young people.”—<b>Gazette.</b></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Esther’s Charge.</b><span class="reduct"> A Story for Girls. By <span class="smcap">Ellen Everett -Green</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“... This is a story showing in a charming way how one little -girl’s jealousy and bad temper were conquered; one of the best, most -suggestive and improving of the Christmas Juveniles.”—<b>New York Tribune.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Fairy Land of Science.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Arabella B. Buckley</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00</span>.</p> - -<p class="reduct">“We can highly recommend it; not only for the valuable information -it gives on the special subjects to which it is dedicated, but also as a -book teaching natural sciences in an interesting way. A fascinating -little volume, which will make friends in every household in which there -are children.”—<b>Daily News.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Merle’s Crusade.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Rosa N. Carey</span>. 12mo, cloth, -illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Among the books for young people we have seen nothing more unique -than this book. Like all of this author’s stories it will please young readers -by the very attractive and charming style in which it is written.”—<b>Journal.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Birdie</b>: <span class="reduct">A Tale of Child Life. By <span class="smcap">H. L. Childe-Pemberton</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The story is quaint and simple, but there is a freshness about it -that makes one hear again the ringing laugh and the cheery shout of children -at play which charmed his earlier years.”—<b>New York Express.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Days of Bruce</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story from Scottish History. -By <span class="smcap">Grace Aguilar</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“There is a delightful freshness, sincerity and vivacity about all of Grace -Aguilar’s stories which cannot fail to win the interest and admiration of -every lover of good reading.”—<b>Boston Beacon.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Three Bright Girls</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story of Chance and Mischance. -By <span class="smcap">Annie E. Armstrong</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The charm of the story lies in the cheery helpfulness of spirit developed -in the girls by their changed circumstances; while the author finds -a pleasant ending to all their happy makeshifts. The story is charmingly -told, and the book can be warmly recommended as a present for girls.”—<b>Standard.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Giannetta</b>: <span class="reduct">A Girl’s Story of Herself. By <span class="smcap">Rosa Mulholland</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Extremely well told and full of interest. Giannetta is a true heroine—warm-hearted, -self-sacrificing, and, as all good women nowadays are, -largely touched with enthusiasm of humanity. The illustrations are unusually -good. One of the most attractive gift books of the season.”—<b>The -Academy.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Margery Merton’s Girlhood.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Alice Corkran</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The experiences of an orphan girl who in infancy is left by her -father to the care of an elderly aunt residing near Paris. The accounts -of the various persons who have an after influence on the story are singularly -vivid. There is a subtle attraction about the book which will make -it a great favorite with thoughtful girls.”—<b>Saturday Review.</b></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Under False Colors</b>: <span class="reduct">A Story from Two Girls’ Lives. -By <span class="smcap">Sarah Doudney</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Sarah Doudney has no superior as a writer of high-toned stories—pure -in style, original in conception, and with skillfully wrought out plots; but -we have seen nothing equal in dramatic energy to this book.”—<b>Christian -Leader.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Down the Snow Stairs</b>; <span class="reduct">or, From Good-night to Good-morning. -By <span class="smcap">Alice Corkran</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Among all the Christmas volumes which the year has brought to our -table this one stands out facile princeps—a gem of the first water, bearing -upon every one of its pages the signet mark of genius.... All is told -with such simplicity and perfect naturalness that the dream appears to be -a solid reality. It is indeed a Little Pilgrim’s Progress.”—<b>Christian -Leader.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Tapestry Room</b>: <span class="reduct">A Child’s Romance. By <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Molesworth</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Mrs. Molesworth is a charming painter of the nature and ways of -children; and she has done good service in giving us this charming -juvenile which will delight the young people.”—<b>Athenæum, London.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Miss Peggy</b>: <span class="reduct">Only a Nursery Story. By <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Molesworth</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">Mrs. Molesworth’s children are finished studies. A joyous earnest spirit -pervades her work, and her sympathy is unbounded. She loves them -with her whole heart, while she lays bare their little minds, and expresses -their foibles, their faults, their virtues, their inward struggles, their -conception of duty, and their instinctive knowledge of the right and wrong -of things. She knows their characters, she understands their wants, -and she desires to help them.</p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Polly</b>: <span class="reduct">A New Fashioned Girl. By <span class="smcap">L. T. Meade</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">Few authors have achieved a popularity equal to Mrs. Meade as a -writer of stories for young girls. Her characters are living beings of -flesh and blood, not lay figures of conventional type. Into the trials -and crosses, and everyday experiences, the reader enters at once with zest -and hearty sympathy. While Mrs. Meade always writes with a high -moral purpose, her lessons of life, purity and nobility of character are -rather inculcated by example than intruded as sermons.</p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>One of a Covey.</b> <span class="reduct">By the author of “Miss Toosey’s -Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up -readers may enjoy it as much as children. This ‘Covey’ consists of the -twelve children of a hard-pressed Dr. Partridge out of which is chosen a -little girl to be adopted by a spoiled, fine lady. We have rarely read -a story for boys and girls with greater pleasure. One of the chief characters -would not have disgraced Dickens’ pen.”—<b>Literary World.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b> The Little Princess of Tower Hill.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">L. T. Meade</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This is one of the prettiest books for children published, as pretty -as a pond-lily, and quite as fragrant. Nothing could be imagined more -attractive to young people than such a combination of fresh pages and -fair pictures; and while children will rejoice over it—which is much -better than crying for it—it is a book that can be read with pleasure -even by older boys and girls.”—<b>Boston Advertiser.</b></p> - -<p class="reduct"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Rosy.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, -price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">Mrs. Molesworth, considering the quality and quantity of her labors, -is the best story-teller for children England has yet known.</p> - -<p class="reduct">“This is a very pretty story. The writer knows children, and their -ways well. The illustrations are exceedingly well drawn.”—<b>Spectator.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Esther</b>: <span class="reduct">A Book for Girls. By <span class="smcap">Rosa N. Carey</span>. 12mo, -cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“She inspires her readers simply by bringing them in contact with the -characters, who are in themselves inspiring. Her simple stories are woven -in order to give her an opportunity to describe her characters by their own -conduct in seasons of trial.”—<b>Chicago Times.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Sweet Content.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. 12mo, cloth, -illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“It seems to me not at all easier to draw a lifelike child than to draw -a lifelike man or woman: Shakespeare and Webster were the only two -men of their age who could do it with perfect delicacy and success. -Our own age is more fortunate, on this single score at least, having a -larger and far nobler proportion of female writers; among whom, since -the death of George Eliot, there is none left whose touch is so exquisite -and masterly, whose love is so thoroughly according to knowledge, whose -bright and sweet invention is so fruitful, so truthful, or so delightful as -Mrs. Molesworth’s.”—<b>A. C. Swinbourne.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Honor Bright</b>; <span class="reduct">or, The Four-Leaved Shamrock. By the -author of “Miss Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1 00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“It requires a special talent to describe the sayings and doings of -children, and the author of ‘Honor Bright,’ ‘One of a Covey,’ possesses that -talent in no small degree. A cheery, sensible, and healthy tale.”—<b>The -Times.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Cuckoo Clock.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. 12mo, -cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A beautiful little story. It will be read with delight by every child -into whose hands it is placed.... The author deserves all the praise -that has been, is, and will be bestowed on ‘The Cuckoo Clock.’ Children’s -stories are plentiful, but one like this is not to be met with every day.”—<b>Pall -Mall Gazette.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Adventures of a Brownie.</b> <span class="reduct">As Told to my Child. -By <span class="smcap">Miss Mulock</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“The author of this delightful little book leaves it in doubt all through -whether there actually is such a creature in existence as a Brownie, but -she makes us hope that there might be.”—<b>Chicago Standard.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Only a Girl</b>: <span class="reduct">A Tale of Brittany. From the French -by <span class="smcap">C. A. Jones</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“We can thoroughly recommend this brightly written and homely narrative.”—<b>Saturday -Review.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Rosebud</b>; <span class="reduct">or, Things Will Take a Turn. By -<span class="smcap">Beatrice Harraden</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A most delightful little book.... Miss Harraden is so bright, so -healthy, and so natural withal that the book ought, as a matter of duty, -to be added to every girl’s library in the land.”—<b>Boston Transcript.</b></p> - -<p class="reduct"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Girl Neighbors</b>; <span class="reduct">or, The Old Fashion and the New. By -<span class="smcap">Sarah Tytler</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“One of the most effective and quietly humorous of Miss Tytler’s stories. -‘Girl Neighbors’ is a pleasant comedy, not so much of errors as of prejudices -got rid of, very healthy, very agreeable, and very well written.”—<b>Spectator.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Little Lame Prince and His Traveling Cloak.</b> <span class="reduct">By -<span class="smcap">Miss Mulock</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“No sweeter—that is the proper word—Christmas story for the little -folks could easily be found, and it is as delightful for older readers as -well. There is a moral to it which the reader can find out for himself, if -he chooses to think.”—<b>Cleveland Herald.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Miss Joy.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Emma Marshall</span>. 12mo, cloth, -illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A very pleasant and instructive story, told by a very charming writer -in such an attractive way as to win favor among its young readers. The -illustrations add to the beauty of the book.”—<b>Utica Herald.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The House that Grew.</b> <span class="reduct">A Girl’s Story. By <span class="smcap">Mrs. Molesworth</span>. -12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This is a very pretty story of English life. Mrs. Molesworth is one -of the most popular and charming of English story-writers for children. -Her child characters are true to life, always natural and attractive, -and her stories are wholesome and interesting.”—<b>Indianapolis Journal.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The House of Surprises.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">L. T. Meade</span>. 12mo, -cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“A charming tale of charming children, who are naughty enough to be -interesting, and natural enough to be lovable; and very prettily their story -is told. The quaintest yet most natural stories of child life. Simply -delightful.”—<b>Vanity Fair.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>The Jolly Ten: and their Year of Stories.</b> <span class="reduct">By <span class="smcap">Agnes -Carr Sage</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">The story of a band of cousins who were accustomed to meet at the -“Pinery,” with “Aunt Roxy.” At her fireside they play merry games, -have suppers flavored with innocent fun, and listen to stories—each with -its lesson calculated to make the ten not less jolly, but quickly responsive -to the calls of duty and to the needs of others.</p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Little Miss Dorothy.</b> <span class="reduct">The Wonderful Adventures of -Two Little People. By <span class="smcap">Martha James</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75c.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">“This is a charming little juvenile story from the pen of Mrs. James, -detailing the various adventures of a couple of young children. Their -many adventures are told in a charming manner, and the book will -please young girls and boys.”—<b>Montreal Star.</b></p> - -<p class="pn lmid"><b>Pen’s Venture.</b> A Story for Girls. By <span class="reduct"><span class="smcap">Elvirton -Wright</span>. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.</span></p> - -<p class="reduct">Something Pen saw in the condition of the cash girls in a certain store -gave her a thought; the thought became a plan; the plan became a venture—Pen’s -venture. It is amusing, touching, and instructive to read about -it.</p> - -<hr class="d3" /> - -<p class="reduct">For sale by all booksellers, or sent postpaid on receipt of price by the -publisher, <b>A. L. BURT, 52-58 Duane Street, New York</b>.</p></div> - - -</div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Adventures in Wallypug-Land, by G. E. 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